This is how I'm feeling now
Just realized that my school was weird:
at my final exame in german our german teacher suddenly pulled out a singing trout and let it sing to wish us luck
the school was a huge, ugly concrete building from the 80s. So huge in fact that it was hard to navigate sometimes. I literally even in my last year there found a spot I never had been in. This also meant that in the basement there was a secret passage, consisting of the bicycle work room and other work rooms, and it connected two stairwells you otherwise had to take a much longer route through the ground-floor
another secret basment room was a fucking huge section that stored fossiles for history and biology classes. You could only access it if a teacher openend a seeminingly boring looking door in a empty corner of the basement, and it looked like a mix of a museum and a mad scientists storage room
we had that one chemistry teacher all other chemistry teachers hated because he did nothing but putting various substances on fire and look how it burned, but never actually taught anything
speaking of chemistry: The storage “room” for chemistry, physics and biology was gigantic, a actual maze. It had arrows on the floor so that you could navigate in it, and it was full of shelfs with all kinds of cool science stuff. If the teachers asked for someone to help them carry stuff from there I always enlisted because it was just so fascinating
in one of the stairhouses there was just suddenly bars over the stairs that still continued, and nobody knew where they lead
we had these soundproofed, window-less rooms for music. People hid in these to try to conjure ghosts and demons. I never saw how exactly they did it, but every few minutes the doors swung open and screaming children ran out
There is more, especially about the huge amount of strange teachers I had, but these are the basics
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Eldritch eyeball worm my beloved,,
letting y’all know right now, I don’t give a f*** about negative a** insults 🤣🤣🤣I don’t care if u think I’m corny, if u think I’m emo asf, if u think I’m weird I don’t caaarrreeeee, negative a** ppl and haters can s*** my d*** backwards on Friday the 13th while they mama watch
but on the other side anyone who’s positive to me while giving criticism is completely welcomed, that’s different.
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I don't want to look at foods these days. I feel nauseated everytime I'm told to eat.
This is an old, old story, but I was just reminded of it, so I wanted to share it. I'm broken. I suffer from C-PTSD, PTSD, and a bunch of other BS. But I always think of kintsugi. The Japanese art of fixing something broken with gold. I may be broken, but I am beautiful in spite of my scars.
I understand that I cannot stand for the whole community. People who suffer from C-PTSD/PTSD or from narcissists: we all have our own personal experiences and deal with these kinds of things in our own way. I typically use my weird sense of humor to deal with it.
In the close-up, life is so serious; it's a tragedy, but once it's in the distance a little, it becomes a comedy. I think it helps me the most because life is too short not to laugh at shit like that. The stuff I can't laugh at, I compartmentalize and tuck it away.
Like when people misuse the word narcissist, and gosh does it happen a LOT. Same with the word triggered. When my doctor diagnosed me as having C-PTSD, she said I would have certain triggers. Due to the internet making fun of the word 'triggered' so much, I actually laughed.
I thought it was funny. I simply have looked at too many memes, and I laughed. I don't know what she expected of me when she gave me my diagnosis, but I don't think it was that. I don't stand for the whole community, but to me, my weird sense of humor has gotten me through a lot.
Like once, my mother whom we've affectionately nicknamed Pennywise, forgot to pick me up (from a whale watching tour in BC while we were visiting family). And being the black sheep of the family, the adopted child, I was used to being forgotten. I waited around for about forty minutes and then gave up and started trudging in the direction I thought my uncle's place was.
BTW, it turns out she forgot ALL about me because she was shopping. We were in a different province, and she got distracted by going shopping.
I walked about two miles in the direction of my uncle's place hoping I'd find it, and this super retro VW bus stopped and picked me up. These old hippies in this bus were awesome. We just clicked right away and we were laughing the whole ride. And they happened to be neighbors with my uncle whom we were visiting. It was great. They were great.
And my Aunt really tore my mother a new one when she finally reappeared with several shopping bags.
My aunt made my mother apologize to me.
My mother STILL to this day, HATES my aunt.
A few years later, I did a DNA test (Ancestry AND 23 and me) -- and I found out, I was actually related to the woman in the VW bus. She was apart of my biological family. Life is weird. Super weird sometimes.
We reconnected and I remembered them. I asked if they still had the VW bus, and she was so confused how I knew they even HAD a VW bus, and I explained that she once picked up a lone girl on a road, on the island, and drove me to my adopted family's place. And she and her husband actually remembered me.
Sometimes, life is too weird to not be funny. If Pennywise had been on time, I never would have met them. I never would have laughed with them, or gotten to ride in that old VW bus with them, or clicked with them so abruptly. Or remembered them years later, when I finally did the DNA test.
Life's too weird not to be funny sometimes.
THEY ALL MATCH UP (except the right one but you know what I mean)
Check out this amazing lego game! via @gifophunia. Follow, like and reblog!
Twilight Zone S1 Ep3
'Mr Denton On Doomsday' (1959)
weird warm up this morning, not ever ment to be anything other than to get me in the zone, but I really liked the energy it put off.
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Best Buds via @gifophunia. Follow, like and reblog!
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I have NEVER in my life wanted to talk to a women in public. Online. At a transport depot. None of it. Why?? Because I feel the exact same way about strangers as women do about strangers. I would rather die then be subjected or subject someone to socializing
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Site Spotlight: The Museum of Four in the Morning
I love little niche sites like this one! This site plays a randomly selected video clip that references 4:00 AM. It doesn't autoplay the scene, so click on the black rectangle to see it.
That's pretty much all there is to this website, but it's silly enough to warrant some attention!
all my sister is watching gay cdramas or reading fanfictions, embarrassing 🔪😡
erinas embarrassed sister.
Bobblehead turtle with zombie leg for scale
One night, you wander into your garden or outside. Maybe it’s to call in the cat. Maybe it’s for a last cup of tea in the dark silence, one last cigarette, or just to breathe in the air while around you everyone is asleep and just for once, in this hour, no one is demanding anything from you.
You look up to see the moon, as you always do, to feel its silvery ghost-light on the skin of your face, and you see a second moon, hanging in the sky next to the familar one. It is the same size, and in the same phase, but it presents a different face, different patterns of light and shadow, crater and peak.
No one else is seeing this second moon on this night other than you and seven other people. Three of them are trying to call down what lives there, the other three are trying to stop them. You? You’re just lucky. Or unlucky.
You know things now that you did not know before, and that can be a heavy burden.
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