#i spent way too long procrastinating on this but i think it turned out alright

[eorzeashan]

Commander Stew

Theron cooks something for the Commander.

Odessen - The Kitchens

A young man sporting a dollop of white hair and refined features entered the communal kitchen of the Alliance carrying a large crate, wearing a plain burlap apron, rubber gloves, and waders over what usually would qualify as a stealth suit–a bit of an odd sight, but one Theron had gotten used to over time.

“Hey! You’re back early. Put ‘em down over there,” Theron glanced over his shoulder, nodding briefly at the young man, then motioning with his head at the kitchen island. Eight squeezed past him as he ran his hands under the faucet, careful not to bump into the other spy. They set down the box on the counter and patiently folded their hands, awaiting instructions.

Theron turned off the sink and flung the remnant droplets off his hands, drying them with a slightly stained checkerboard dish towel.

Even with his fearsome past, Theron found the quiet operative to be pleasant company most days, with Eight acting as his assistant in daily matters ranging from mundane chores to deadly missions. All at the behest of Lana, of course. She was the one who insisted on (see: forced) a pair of helping hands for him after he'd incorrectly assumed she’d wanted him to take on all her burdens.

Not that he was complaining about the extra hands. Certainly not today of all days–he was planning something special, and that required all of the help he could get.

Theron opened the flaps of the crate. Fresh from their gardening plot in the Odessen fields, the box was practically bursting with colorful root vegetables and leafy greens native to the planet. Purple, orange, striped yellows and swirls of blue–all packed with vitamins and the healthy color of a successful crop. Plain proof that their efforts to cultivate more organic food for the personnel had finally given fruit, after several long winters of withered stalks and exhausting meals of food chips.

Theron smiled wryly. He’d have to make a toast to Dr. Oggurrobb’s fertilizer and the Force Enclave’s agricultural knowledge later.

“Will this be enough?” Eight asked, mellow as ever. He watched him coolly through deep umber eyes.

“It’s more than enough,” Theron answered, a bit of uncertainty leaking into his tone as he stared at the foodstuffs. The vegetables taunted him from their comfy spot atop the counter next to the impressive array of knives and cooking utensils laid out side-by-side like an interrogation toolkit. “...I think.” He wiped the tip of his nose.

Theron hated to admit it, but he was no culinarian. Master Zho had never taught him (really, what could you teach a kid to cook in the wilderness besides canned goods and pre-packaged rations), and his stint as a SIS agent since his youth had left him with little time to prepare nor care. The extent of his cooking repertoire could quickly be summed up to sticking a frozen Orobird leg in the flash oven and waiting for two minutes, sadly.

So why was he making an effort now?

The image of the Commander’s tired face weary from battle and sleepless nights, aging lines etched deep into their skin with the carvings of a destiny too large for one person, flashed in Theron’s mind. He’d seen the way they’d fought–skipped meals, denied themselves sleep, hid the way their gaze turned vacant when they thought no one was looking, left their cafeteria plate practically untouched, compounded blackened bottoms of endless cups of caf, the stims—the Commander was burning themselves at both ends.

Hypocritical as it was, he couldn’t stand watching them drive themselves into the ground. The galaxy’s fate was important, but…not as important as they were to Theron. Yet he found himself at a loss; what words he wanted to tell them to eat better, to sleep more, to stop hurting themselves fell short whenever the Commander gave him that one look. That look of resignation, deep as the dull ache that would settle in his chest afterwards.

“I’m okay,” They’d tell him, smiling wan, “Thank you, Theron.” It’s alright. It’s nothing. Don’t worry about me.

Like hell he couldn’t. He–

“Theron…?”

Theron snapped out of his reverie, realizing he’d been wringing the dishcloth far too tightly for too long. Eight stared at him, puzzled. He released it. His knuckles returned to their previous pink.

“...Sorry. Just. Tired,” Theron shook his head, massaging his temples. Tired. Yeah. He was sure someone else was too, and he hadn’t asked Eight to come here to watch him have a breakdown. Pushing off from the counter, he clapped his hands together, mustering up a second wind. “Let’s get to work. Shall we?”

Commander Stew

Ingredients:

Young Makrin Legs

Orobird Soup Stock

Rootleaf, 1 Head

Imperial-issued Instant Glowblue Noodles, 1 Package

Republic Synth-Ham and Grophet Sausages

Odessen Wild Onions

Mandalorian Spice Sauce

Zakuulan Swamp Glowshrooms

Slice of Ration Cheese

Directions:

Prepare the young makrin legs by soaking them in water and shaving the fibrous exterior with a peeler.

Theron stared at the unassuming pile of…legs that resembled roots more than they did the limbs of any creature, and secretly shuddered. Makrins weren’t particularly uncommon on terrestrial worlds, but their crabby, tree-like appearance and tendency to wallow in loam didn't make them his first choice to eat. He wasn't exactly opposed to adventurous cuisine, but he wondered how exactly the legs of a chitinous creature equaled something that would make the Commander more appetized.

As if sensing his cause for pause, Eight peered over his shoulder where he stood frozen with peeler in hand. “The Jedi recommended them for use in medicinal dishes. When eaten boiled, it lowers blood pressure, and contains many nutrients.” He said thoughtfully, as if reading an entry from an encyclopedia.

“Is that so.” Theron inwardly balked at the mention of the Jedi–a little known fact was that Master Zho had raised him on Jedi cuisine, most of it vegetarian, but even then he hadn’t sampled every bit of agriculture the galaxy had to offer. Makrin legs were a bit out there, but seeing as they were native to Odessen, recommended by the enclave and another piece of stress relief on a plate for the Commander? His survival training told him the harmless limbs could only benefit, despite their gnarly appearance.

Remove the tips and fibrous base. When cleaned and processed, set aside.

He buckled down and began shaving the legs. Lack of proper nutrition was always a deciding factor in conflict–Theron had seen his fair share of soldiers who contracted disease from improper eating and lack of supplies– and he would feed the Commander any bit of ugly vegetables if it meant seeing a little more life restored to their pallid cheeks. His fingers found their rhythm as he removed the tough outer skin from the legs exposing their soft white core beneath the blade of the peeler, their texture reminding him oddly of Dantooinian tubers with an extra coat of slime.

Slice and dice half of a medium-sized onion.

Theron had to pretend he wasn't looking particularly emotional as he chopped the onion. Or maybe he was simply brought to tears at the thought that their food could have flavor for once, all thanks to the Alliance’s team of scouts who procured such supplies for them from the unmapped regions of Odessen’s wilds. Eight was among that team, hence Theron's willingness to let an Imp spy of all people join him in cooking. There was only a small handful of people he could use to conceal his efforts from the Commander, and Theron would make use of both his ability to obtain food in secret and his espionage skills to see this through, opposing factions be damned.

And if others worried about poisoning, well. He didn't pride himself on being Chief of Security for nothing. The safety of the Commander was his priority, as were the characters of those he chose to fight alongside them. They were his responsibility. His to trust with their most important fight and everything in-between. Theron couldn't afford to keep the old grudges that the Republic and Empire maintained in these desperate times, and he would not fall victim to their need to blind themselves with their unending war. He had to fight for what was important, and that was…people. Not sides.

Theron would always be a son of the Republic at his heart. But now his heart belonged to another, and those lines had long blurred.

Slice the glowshrooms length-wise, removing the head from the stems. Set aside.

Clean and cut the rootleaf in half, then the following halves into quarters; chop into smaller squares until you have about 1 cup’s worth of rootleaf. Store the rest in a cool, refrigerated place.

Unpackage the Synth-Ham, Republic Ration #0625, and slice to desired thickness.

Theron opened the can of mystery meat and upended it onto the chopping board. The green ham-like substance plopped onto it with gelatinous grace. He poked it with his cooking knife. It jiggled away from the tip.

Eight placed an empty pot next to him along with a can of opened grophet sausages and an unwrapped package of Imperial ration Glowblue Noodles, their signature color shining through the foil. Theron quickly thanked him out of the corner of his mouth.

Arrange the rootleaf, onion, makrin legs, and glowshrooms at the bottom of the pot in even layers.

Add a helping of Mandalorian Spiced Sauce on top.

Theron couldn't forget Torian and his people. They were the ones who suggested using their own spices for the hotpot, as “no other spice in the galaxy compares to that of a Mando’s.” Though he’d initially expressed some reservations at setting the Commander’s tongue aflame, this special mix had been made with their preference in mind; Shae had been so impressed by their valor that she presented several crates worth as a gift after the battle of Darvannis. Spices were a luxury if not a grand gesture in wartime, and not one Theron intended to use lightly.

Add the Synth-Ham, grophet sausages, and top with a slice of ration cheese over the previous ingredients.

Finally, add the Glowblue Noodles and 3 liters of Orobird stock.

Theron blinked at the finished product. “Wait a minute. This is…”

“Revanite stew?” Eight once again helpfully supplied.

It was Theron’s turn to ask the questions as he raised a suspicious brow towards his sous-chef. “They ate this during the coalition, when the camps combined. How did you get the same recipe?”

Eight smiled quietly to himself, in his mysterious and elusive way. “Our Commander was there. It was their idea to share food across factions. I still haven't forgotten its taste. If you ask any of the soldiers from that time, they will say the same.”

Theron stared at him, speechless. To think the same recipe he’d been making this entire time was a result of their union on Rishi…he recalled seeing Imperial and Republic soldiers bonding over a cookpot, but hadn't joined in, content to watch the proceedings from a distance. So much had happened during Revan’s rise that he’d failed to pay enough attention to something so innocuous as a moment of camaraderie between unlikely allies.

It had been their idea to eat something both Imperial and Republic that fateful night. To form the basis of their Alliance over a simple, warm bowl of soup.

Theron felt his heart swell.

He…he had to remind them of what they had built. What they meant to him. With this.

Set on top of a burner and deliver to recipients with bowls to share.

Theron held his breath as he wheeled the cart of foodstuffs to the Commander’s quarters, careful to avoid jostling the stew that balanced atop it as he reached his destination. He rapped on the door with the back of his knuckles.

A puff of pnematic air revealed the Commander, yawning wearily from yet another sleepless night of work and burdens. “Yes–” They stopped. “Theron? What are you doing here?” They eyed his cart. “And what's with all the food?”

Theron cracked a sheepish smile, rubbing the back of his neck. “Thought you could use some dinner, so…I brought you some. If you don't mind, that is.” He quickly added, feeling out of place in the deserted hallway.

The Commander smiled, a genuine one that reached their eyes, crinkling at the edges. “I’d love to try whatever you made. Come in, we can eat it together.” They stepped aside to allow Theron room to maneuver.

Enjoy with your intended party.

As expected, it was delicious.

Not as filling as seeing the Commander laugh to the point of tears at his explanations as to why he'd been so secretive all week trying to hide the fruits of his cooking from them, but filling nonetheless. He'd give it a 5/5, personally, as a true soup for the soul. (And a note to make it again with less sneaking around).

If the Commander was satisfied and satiated... so was he.

#swtor #swtor fanfiction #theron shan #theron shan x alliance commander #oc: orradiz #knights of the meshi. #admin writes #unnamed commander btw you can self insert. or not #eight cameo in there for. uh. reasons. #i spent way too long procrastinating on this but i think it turned out alright #writing a cooking style fic is way harder than it looks also the ending was kind of botched but im tired #a bit of alliance worldbuilding a bit of speculative cuisine of alien species and plants a bit of #CHARACTER STUDY?? #what the hell whatever

[running-with-kn1ves]

Too Close For Comfort

Male! Co-worker X GN! Reader

A/N: Turns out you can write so much when you have free time :0 Anyway I spent way too damn long on this so… here we are! I hope yall enjoy :’) (There are so many things wrong with this piece which is EXACTLY why you do not procrastinate, kids.)

TW: christmas/holiday themes, sour mood on the holidays, drugging, forced kissing/ touching, yandere themes, alcohol/ intoxicated characters

Synopsis: Feeling like an odd one out at your office’s christmas party, you find an overly eager co-worker to spend your time with-- who seems to prove that no company may be better than bad company.

Word Count: 3300

When most thought of the winter holidays, great cheer and comforting cold weather took priority. Whether it was staying inside from the bitter cold with a cup of warm tea, or decorating with shining lights and pine tree scents, there was always fun to be had. Even the music was jolly, no holiday song consisting of a sorrowful melody when it came to the season.

However, you unfortunately did not share the same holiday spirit as most during December. Those who had fun on Christmas or their yearly holidays usually had someone to spend it with, a person or people to keep them company from the windy chill and the loneliness of solitude. You had no such company; your family was unable to make it this year for the holidays, and you had yet to find a spouse that could enjoy the Christmas spirit with you.

You tried not to bring your disheartened attitude in with you today at work, but it was a real struggle when it came to watching your co-workers mingle with one another. You had yet to make any stable friendships since you started your job, which your huddling form in the corner showed quite obviously. 

With eggnog in your hand and an ugly sweater covering your chest, you couldn’t help but frown at the floor as you listened to the sound of jingle bells and Michael Bublé for the 100th time this month. You desperately wanted to go home, to cry to a hallmark movie and down 3 cups of hot chocolate before passing out on your couch. But your boss insisted that everyone in your office stay for the christmas party else they’ll have to stay late on new years. 

You didn’t have any particular plan for new years other than your yearly ritual of drinking your sorrows away while the clock strikes twelve, but it would be nice not to spend it in the office with a bunch of people you hardly knew. So, you stayed. You listened to the bad karaoke and watched as your co-workers got slammed on spiked eggnog.

A particular person who displayed such a description was your boss: a man in his 40s, currently ‘busting it down’ on the makeshift dancefloor to some holiday rap. 

“He’s having a bit too much fun, wouldn’t you think?” A voice said next to your ear. 

You turned to find one of your co-workers faces right next to yours, his hot breath ghosting over your ear as he grinned. You jumped at seeing him so close to you out of nowhere. 

“Sorry, I just thought you wouldn’t be able to hear me over the music.” He apologized.

The man’s flurry of bright blonde hair and fair skin seemed to appear out of nowhere, his face flushed with a slight pink that must’ve been from the cold.  

“No its alright. Klaus, right?” You asked. 

“Yeah,” He laughed and rubbed the back of his head. “I’ve actually been standing behind you for a while now.”

You raised an eyebrow at his words, not expecting his choice of words.

“I mean-- I’ve seen you around the office quite a bit, but haven’t gotten the courage to talk to you ‘til now.”

You almost flushed at the sound of that. Someone had noticed you, and was really that afraid of talking to you? You had thought no one batted an eye at you after the first day of your arrival. 

You remembered seeing Klaus around the office a few times-- he always seemed to be nearby, never doing anything important but never so visibly available that you felt confident enough to talk to him. He seemed very popular with your other co-workers, always chatting it up with someone and getting a giggle out of them. Sometimes you’d make eye contact with him, but you turned away too quickly out of embarrassment to let it linger any longer. 

“Actually I’ve been standing here for 10 minutes hoping you’d notice me.” He bashfully admitted. 

Oh. 

“What really? I’m so sorry--” You tried to apologize, feeling yourself grow hot at how oblivious you were. 

“No don’t worry. I’m just glad I’ve finally caught your attention.” He gave you a small wink, leaning in closer to make himself more hearable. 

You widened your eyes at that, surprised at his forwardness-- you couldn’t remember the last time someone came onto you so obviously. Or rather, at all. You had been sort of avoiding the dating- slash- hookup scene ever since you moved for your job. 

“O-oh.” You weren’t exactly sure how to respond, taking another large gulp of your drink. 

“In fact, I thought you were looking rather lonely over here.” Klaus said, moving forward closer to you. You stepped backwards in time with his movements, afraid of getting too close to him. He didn’t seem to mind, keeping eye contact with you as he licked his lips and smiled. 

“Oh, really? Well… I’m, alright. Don’t worry about me.” You laughed awkwardly, caught completely off guard. 

He placed a hand on the wall behind you, standing beside and yet in front of you, in a non-threatening but trapping manner. Taking a sip out of his own drink, he watched as you fumbled to fill the silence he seemed so comfortable with. 

“Hey everybody! A shrill voice called. “Guess who’s under the mistletoe!”  

One of your female coworkers pointed towards you and Klaus in a drunken stupor, her dark skin flushed from the alcohol and showing mischevious excitement. 

You looked up to see a hanging green plant, ripe red berries intertwined in its leaves with a red bow holding it from the ceiling. Klaus didn’t bother looking up, continuing to stare at you as you admired the greenery. 

It wasn’t until a chant brought you out of your thoughts did you feel your stomach drop. 

“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” Your female coworker started, shaking her fist in time with her intoxicated slurs. She stumbled and clapped her hands, the rest of the office following suit. Your boss even chimed in, becoming the loudest with his tie tied around his forehead and his shirt unbuttoned. You hadn’t realized how unraveled the party had become until all the attention was on you. The chant got louder as more joined in, Klaus looking at you for your reaction. 

You looked back at him and to the crowd, unsure of what you should do. Klaus looked prepared, trying to appear casual yet undeniably eager. 

“Should we give the people what they want?” He asked, though you could tell what he was hoping for. 

Yet, you hardly knew him! This was your first time talking to the man, and he was your co-worker-- someone who you’d have to see day in and day out 5 days a week. The world of problems this one kiss could bring, was a risk you weren’t sure would be worth it.

Despite knowing that, you began to lean towards him. Maybe it was the eggnog or the fear of disappointing the party attendees, but you kept moving forward as he grinned a bit too excitedly. 

Immediately Klaus’s hand shot to your back, pulling you so the inside of his thigh warmed your knee. His hand on your back pressed against your sweater and gently moved to support you, the other coming up to cup your cheek. You expected the kiss to be a short peck-- enough to satisfy the drunken herd, but Klaus’s movements read romance. 

His hands were warm, likely from holding his hot drink of choice all evening. He smelled faintly of snow and hot chocolate, his breath hitting your nose as he stood over you, waiting to get closer. His fingers fell to your chin as his pointer and thumb gripped to pull your face towards his softly. You let him take the lead, holding onto his cold jacket as he pushed you up to meet his height. 

You could feel the burn of a hundred eyes on you, all staring; watching, anticipating. 

Klaus’ lips touched yours, his mouth parting just slightly for yours to fit in like a puzzle piece. He didn’t dare shove his tongue down your throat or slime you with saliva like you bet half of the drunks here would have, instead squeezing his lips around yours with a hand on the back of your head, deepening the act of affection as if he waited a millennium to give it to you. 

 Thankfully, cheering commenced from the boisterous crowd, though you couldn’t hear it from the blood rushing in your ears. Neither you or Klaus wanted to let go-- though for vastly different reasons. Hands rushed to pat you and your male counterpart on the back once you forced yourself to break away. Klaus still held onto you, moving his hands to hold your waist as the crowd trickled closer to congratulate. The music got louder, a shout of more drinks being poured gaining another cheer from the crowd.

They all shouted words of praise and excitement, some more inebriated than others, but nonetheless all happy and excited with a holiday glow in their eyes and cheeks. 

Once the drinks were poured and called to be given out, the attention on you and Klaus was gone. The crowd moved away, diminishing all to go back to partying and their own groups of familiarity. Though Klaus still hadn’t let go of you. You looked at him, awkwardly shuffling backward as he let go reluctantly. 

The music had somehow gotten louder, though the attention was now pulled back to your tipsy boss making decisions he’d surely regret in the morning, and everyone else focusing back on their own groups. You felt out of place again-- though now with a partner instead of alone. You weren’t sure if that as any better though, since now it was two all alone rather than one. 

“Do you want to go somewhere more quiet?” Klaus asked, leaning once again uncomfortably close to your face. “Somewhere with less, you know, people?” He put a hand to the small of your back, hoping to gently push your decision.

“That’d be great.” You sighed with a smile, glad to be escaping in some way, even if it meant spending time with an awkward acquaintance. 

Klaus grabbed your hand with his, bringing a comforting warmth to your chilled fingers. He slid by the twinkling christmas tree, pushing past people with an urgency that would’ve concerned you if you weren’t so eager to leave yourself. You almost tripped over the small presents meant for white elephant underneath the tree if you hadn’t watched your step, trying to move carefully as Klaus lifted your hand to make it easier.

“Thanks,” You said, though you doubted it could be heard over the loud chatter and high note from Mariah Carey on the radio.

 You realized Klaus had been leading you back towards your desks, into a small hallway that only held your bosses office and a small janitor’s closet. People still paraded around the office everywhere you went, a few couples making out in their cubicles with the only light source coming from strung up christmas lights on the walls. You squinted your eyes, unable to see in the dark except for Klaus’ shoes in front of you. 

You bumped into his back as he suddenly stopped in front of the closet, letting out a small ‘oomph’ into his thick jacket. 

“Sorry..” You mumbled, though he only seemed to let out a small, teasing laugh. 

Opening the door, he led you into the closet. You gulped, thinking this was a strange place to gain privacy. You thought perhaps the two of you would go outside, or maybe head back to one of your cubicles, even if it wasn’t the best way to be alone. Yet, you still followed him into the closet, hoping maybe you could take a breather without hearing incessant jovial laughing or wet drunken kisses from your co-workers who couldn’t keep themselves off each other. Hoping in, Klaus shut the door with a ‘click.’

There was no light in the closet, and no switch to turn on even a hanging light bulb.

“Well, here we are.” You said, hoping to lighten the thick air. 

“Yes.” Klaus said, his body in front of you though you couldn’t see it. You shuffled around, trying to get comfortable despite unknown items at your feet and on the shelves next to you. You stood in silence, soaking up the fact that there was no distractions to remind you of your loneliness. And, well, you weren’t alone. Atleast, not right now. 

Klaus’ breathing got heavier, loud enough to fill the silence of the closet. 

“I can’t believe…. We’re alone together.” He exhales. 

“Yeah….?” You say, unsure of what he means. 

Though the hands on your shoulders seem to put forth his meaning more clearly. 

“I thought we’d never be able to get away from them.” He chuckles, pressing his chest against yours this time, pulling you into a hug. “Though, I didn’t think the mistletoe would go that smoothly.” 

Klaus rubbed your back with a sensuality you didn’t expect, humming into your ear as he embraced you moreso than co-workers-- or even friends should. 

“I can’t say I expected you to kiss me so easily..”

He let go of the unreciprocated hug to cup your face with his soft hands. 

“So, does this mean you have feelings for me…. too?”

“W-what?” You back away from his hands into the supply shelf. “Klaus, uh,” You chuckle for a moment, trying to come up with an answer. “We’ve only talked once, and that was 5 minutes ago!” 

You tried to keep your tone light, giving a small laugh to hide your nervousness.

“But our kiss,” He argued. “Our kiss. Didn’t you feel something from that?”

He huffed and brought his hands down to your shoulders. 

“Not only that--didn’t you feel any sparks when we made eye contact last tuesday? When you brushed by me in the break room? Come on.” He spoke as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, shaking your shoulders and pressing the toe of his shoe against yours. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t even remember that--” You tried to find his eyes in the dark, but could only make out vague shapes of his face. “I thought that kiss was just-- peer pressure.” 

Klaus went silent. His hands limp against your shoulders, the male hung his head in defeat. 

“....Nothing? You haven’t… noticed me at all?” He sounded pitiful, voice cracking ever so slightly. “And our kiss, was just an act to you?” 

Klaus bit his lip to stop himself from letting out a sob, his worst fears commencing together to build a crushing momentum. 

“I’m sorry… I didn’t know, it meant that much to you. I don’t know you that well, so I really don’t have any room to say I share the same feelings.” You sighed, patting his hands sympathetically. 

Well, that was certainly a turn of events from what you expected. 

Yet, Klaus perked up at hearing you.

“But that doesn’t entirely rule out the possibility, right? You could still… find yourself falling for me-- potentially.”

“Klaus, I don’t really think--” 

“It’s possible, with enough time, with enough-- convincing.” He interrupted. 

You were about to refute his rationalization, trying to let him down gently. That was until the feeling of familiar lips crashing onto yours came, devouring you faster than the first kiss had. Klaus shoved you against the supply shelf, forcing your head back with his as his nose bumped into yours. Tight lips wrapped around your mouth as the man desperately tried to convince you. 

“Klauth--!” You tried to muffle out, feeling your struggling hands forcefully pushed against the shelf.

“No--! Just let me--” He huffed between kisses. “Give me the chance to convince you--! I’m worth it!-- I promise--” 

Thumps could be heard outside the closet, cleaning and old office supplies falling off the shelves as the two of you danced in a struggling fashion. 

You let out a series of noises against his mouth, mostly poor attempts at trying to tell him to stop, to get off of you, all of which were futile compared to how overpowering Klaus’s desperation was. He was determined, and there was little that could stop him. 

Though with a rightly timed shove and a bite of his lip, you managed to push the man into the door. It let out an echoing clatter, Klaus being unable to catch himself beforehand. 

“What is the matter with you!” You managed to huff out, balling your fists up. 

Klaus ignores your upset expression, wiping his lips. 

“I’m really not a bad guy, you know. I don’t use things like chloroform or handcuffs.” Your heart dropped, panic beginning to set in. “I didn’t even really plan on bringing this with me tonight…. It was just a precaution. So I hope, you won’t think different of me.” Klaus frowned, coming closer to you with heavy footsteps.

“What are you even on about!” You tried to back away, about to tell him to stop once more. The more he came closer, the more worried you became. Clearly, there was something wrong with him on a level that you couldn’t understand, and you weren’t waiting to find out what it was. 

But before you could react, a pinching feeling was running down your thigh. Something stabbed into your leg, unwavering as Klaus’ hand covered it. His other arm moved up to shove against your mouth, your teeth biting into his arm as you tried to struggle away. He spun around, pushing you against the closet door as you tried to frantically get free. Klaus thumbed the end of the syringe, making sure the entirety of the sedative entered your system. Once he felt it hit the bottom, Klaus pulled the needle out of your leg and threw the syringe to the floor. He used the rest of his weight to keep you steady and silent. 

You tried to scream against his arm once you realized what he had done. You didn’t know what he had just injected you with, but it certainly was not something benign. Your arms tried to flail but could only wiggle within Klaus’s grasp as he held them down. 

Only a mere few seconds passed before you felt something strange occur within you, a limpness in your limbs beginning as your eyelids lowered. It was small at first-- just a nagging tiredness in your body. But it soon grew to a point that you could no longer counsciously comprehend, your mind flatlining.

“You’re so much work,” Klaus said with a struggled laugh, trying to keep you down while brushing a stray hair away from your slowly relaxing face. “But worth it. I promise, I’ll prove myself to you. I’ll make you beg for me.” 

You could feel your spit drool down your chin from Klaus’ sleeve, your attempts at biting and removing his arm leaving you a mess. It didn’t take long for the tranquilizer to work its effects, your eyes having gone hazy and body nearly falling to the floor. If it wasn’t for Klaus’s reaction time you would’ve slammed against the door, which would’ve been preferable when it came to Klaus’s intentions. Instead, he caught you with his arms, fighting to keep you upwards. 

“You’ll be convinced before new years, sweetheart.” Klaus planted a small kiss to the side of your mouth, cleaning the drool from your face. “Merry Christmas, my little present.”

#christmas #christmas special #christmas yandere #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere romance #tw yandere #yandere x gn reader #writing #x reader #reader insert #self insert #male yandere #fanfiction #christmas x reader #christmas writing #spent way too damn long on this #creative writing #yandere imagines #yandere scenarios #yandere aesthetic #yandere one shots #one shots #christmas one shots #christmas fiction #christmas fanfiction #yandere christmas #christmas eve #christmas one shot #xmas

[wearfinethingsalltoowell]

Little OFMD Drabble Based on a Friends Episode

Probably not even putting this on ao3 it’s just for fun and procrastination

Stede Bonnet found himself wondering, for the one-hundreth time that day, how Calico Jack had survived that English cannonball.

Jack was staying on the Revenge for “a bit”. His crew had mutinied, again. Stede couldn’t blame them, but he cursed them for indirectly bringing this drunken idiot back to his ship. 

Ed was more cautious of him this time, and wasn’t getting swept up in his antics like he had during his last visit, but he’d still convinced Stede to let Jack stay with them for a bit while he got back on his feet. Nostalgia and all that.

And given that he was still trying to make up for the whole “abandoned the man he loved directly after he poured his heart out” thing, well, he couldn’t think of a good way to tell his boyfriend that, no sweetheart, one of your oldest friends can’t stay on our ship after almost dying.

He just happened to really want to throw that friend overboard. (Ed had done it to poor Lucius, wouldn’t it be only fair? Only difference being that Lucius would have been missed)

Stede heard another shout from on deck. If he had to guess, Jack and the crew were making another turtle fight a crab, or something of the sort.

He was relieved when Ed joined him in their cabin.

“Mate, this is the third day in a row that everyone’s been drunk. Just sayin’, if you want to throw Jack off the ship again, I wouldn’t be opposed.”

That was all Stede needed to here. As long as it wouldn’t upset Ed, he had a plan to make sure Jack never darkened the Revenge’s door step again.

“I’ve got an idea, darling. Come on.” Stede gestured for Ed to follow him above deck.

When they arrived, Wee John was helping Jack feed rum to a crab (which still just seemed mean!)

“Alright!” Stede called out, marching over to Jack, “You have to go!”

“Why? Everyone’s having fun but you. C’mon, Beardy,” Jack turned to Ed, “you used to love this!”

Ed stayed silent, trusting his co-captain’s assurances that he had an idea.

He regretted that when Stede yelled: “You have to go because Ed still has feelings for you!”

“What?” Ed yelled, horrified. He looked at Stede trying to figure out what on earth had given him that idea.

The look Stede was giving him was a familiar one, and that was when it clicked. This was a fuckery.

“Oh, um, yep, totally,” Ed stuttered out, trying not to wreck the illusion Stede had created.

“Listen, I have spent many months making peace with the fact that Ed’s feelings may never truly go away,” Stede addressed Jack, “But you can!”

Jack patted Stede’s shoulder mockingly: “Dude, I get it. ‘M not heartless, not about to make you compete with one of the coolest pirates on the seven seas. No one could expect you to keep his attention when I’m around. I’ll go.”

Stede wasn’t even upset at the insults. The thorn in his side was going away!

“And, Beardy,” Jack walked over to Ed, “Call me when Steve over their fucks off again.” Jack said, and jumped into his dinghy.

Once he was out of view, Stede and Ed high-fived. Another successful fuckery.

Think I made Stede too bitchy but oh well. Thanks to @batsarebetterthanpeople for the post about “Beardy” being a good Jack nickname for Ed. Also thanks to @thisparachuteisaknapsack for the post about Jack being Ed and Stede’s Janice that inspired this.

#ofmd #our flag means death #blackbonnet #blackbeard #stede bonnet #calico jack

[gay-doodlebug-with-adhd916]

[To be clear, there's nothing disturbing below the "keep reading" lol, this post is just long] - TLDR: The college experience~

I am currently sitting in a dorm that is perpetually always too cold although we live in a very hot area and most other residence halls are too hot because each room here has its own AC unit that we are Not Allowed to Change or Turn Off which just so happens to be completely connected to the ever running ceiling fan. The ceiling

light that is attached to the ceiling fan is somehow too bright and too dim at the same time, it makes everyone look bluish and a little bit Not Alive, the lamps in our room shed light, but somehow do not shed enough. For whatever reason I have been sweating from my armpits more these past couple weeks than I feel like I have my entire life (I have been wearing so much deodorant to no avail) I am sweating while simultaneously So Cold. I can hear awkward, muffled snippets of people's conversations in the dorm rooms next to me as well as someone who has been playing on the slightly out of tune piano in the lobby for the past couple hours. They have been trying to play the melody of the theme song from Up except they keep messing up on the fifth note or so and every time they mess up, instead of correcting the note, they just start over. I have not heard them finish the song. I have been procrastinating on taking my meds for an hour and a half but I don't want to forget about them cause they're the types of meds that I'm... not supposed to procrastinate on taking, so I've just been hitting the snooze button on my alarm and letting my alarm come back around in 9 minute increments just for me to hit snooze again even though my meds are literally within arms length away from me. I have had a three day weekend that I have spent almost exclusively on napping, drawing, and watching comfort movies instead of Doing My Homework like I promised myself I would so I don't fall behind. I also tried to clean this weekend but honestly I cleaned and made messes so evenly that it feels like I'm coming out of this weekend with a side of my room that's about as messy as it was going into this weekend. I haven't seen my roommate in like four or five days so... I'm just hoping she's doing alright. I literally smell so bad and I don't know why, we have communal bathrooms in my residence hall which means that you have to wear shower shoes to avoid picking up diseases except some people think you're supposed to wear shower shoes in the shower and never take them off to avoid all germs and other people think you're supposed to wear shower shoes only to the outside of the shower and leave them in the stall to avoid tracking water throughout the bathroom and hallway, so There Has Been Controversy. Every time I take a shower an unfathomable amount of hair falls out of my head and I have to scramble to catch it and store it with my stuff to make sure it doesn't clog the drain. There is a sickness going around all of campus, but nobody wants to admit that they're sick, so even though we're all coughing up all sorts of unfathomable things and our noses are stuffed up and runny and our brains are all a little fuzzier than usual, we're all just calling it "allergies" that every person on campus mysteriously has. I'm always either eating way too much in the dining halls or forgetting to eat altogether. Everywhere seems to keep being closed whenever I'm hungry, so easy mac and instant oatmeal and random snack food or food that can be made solely using an old microwave have become my hero. Every time I think about textbooks and all the required materials that I have yet to buy I am literally so anxious and feel like I'm close to getting emotional because I Am Broke and I Can't Do This. I feel like both the most productive person and the least productive person I have ever been. I want to call my mom, but I know she is in bed. I am so confused about what is even due despite the fact that I've studied the syllabi for all of my classes and written things down in my planner and taken extensive notes - I'm still somehow missing out on assignments that I need to get done until it's a little bit too late for me to complete them.

If this is not peak college living, I don't know what is.

I literally love college so much, but DANG this is quite a wild experience to say the least.

#freshman life #College living #dorm living #I'm so confused #living with ADHD #sh!tpost?

[lis-likes-fics]

Hey there I was wonder if I could have Carlisle x pregnant reader and he’s really possessive and protective of her and smutty please 😊

Author's Note: First of all, I am so sorry for my tardiness. This was requested like two months ago. Here it is now, again I'm sorry. I started writing it and took the longest time to keep coming to it. Procrastination is a bitch. Thank you so much and now enjoy reading this fluffy smut! ❤️

~~~

Possessive, Protective, and Pregnant

Y/N smiled as she waved to her brother, Sam. She'd stopped by the reservation today to visit her pack before returning back to the Cullens place, a container full of Emily's amazing chocolate muffins in her bag, eager to dive in.

"Don't eat 'em all in one night! You might also wanna talk to Carlisle, don't keep it to yourself too long!" her sister-in-law called.

Y/N nodded as she rolled her eyes a little. "Alright, Emily. See you later. Bye, Sammy!" Her big brother waved at her as she drove away. She didn't really know why she was so eager to have the muffins. She didn't usually like sweets and things all too much, but she couldn't wait to eat one - so much so that she opened the container and grabbed one, eating it in her car on the way back to the house.

Stuffing the container back into her bag, she got out of the car after finishing her muffin and headed inside. She was greeted by Carlisle, who kissed her cheek happily. "How was your day with your brother?"

"It was fun, I enjoyed myself," she smiled sweetly.

"I'm glad." He paused for a moment, taking a couple breaths in before asking, "Is that…chocolate?"

She shrugged, "Uh, yeah. Emily made some." She slowly pulled the box out of her bag to show Carlisle. He eyed her with a confused look, "You hate chocolate."

She shrugged, looking away a little, "I mean, I don't mind chocolate."

"No," Carlisle chuckled, "You told me you absolutely hated chocolate."

"Well, uh, people change?" she offered. He smiled as he shook his head, his hand on her waist. He kissed her gently.

~

Y/N fidgeted with the top corner of the page in her book, bored to death as she had nothing to do. Carlisle was in his office, doing some late work. He'd thought she had already gone to sleep - she did announce that, after all.

But to be honest, she was too bored and too awake to sleep. She'd thought reading the book would help, but she sighed and gave up on it as she stood from the bed, stretching her limbs.

Maybe cuddling would help. Just as she was going to do just that with Carlisle, she decided against it. He was working, she didn't want to disturb him.

So instead she decided to get a midnight snack - or after midnight snack. It was almost one-thirty.

She stepped lightly as she made her way to the garage, opening and closing the door quietly to not make noise. She didn't want to alert Carlisle. Living with vampires made her excellent at sneaking.

She pulled the box slowly out of the closet, keeping the noise low. She opened the lid to the box and smiled at her secret stash of sweets. She had no idea why she had it, but she wanted sweets.

She pulled out a chocolate bar, breaking off a piece and popping it in her mouth. She smiled as she sat there, savoring the sweet treat.

She was there for a while, divulging herself in her sweets. She didn't overindulge, but she didn't quite enjoy herself.

When Carlisle finished work for tonight in his office, he headed to the bedroom to see Y/N. When she wasn't in the bed, his brows furrowed and he started searching the house for her. She wasn't in the living room, or the kitchen. He checked the bathrooms that were unnecessary before she came but she wasn't in.

When he reached the garage, he opened the door and froze at the door with a confused look. "Y/N?" he asked.

She froze and slowly turned to look up at him, a hand held up to her mouth holding a cookie. She took a bite from the cookie and nervously said, "Hello, Carlisle… What's up?"

He blinked a couple of times, walking over to her, "What on Earth are you doing?"

She shrugged, dusting her hands off, "Uh…midnight snack?"

"You hate sweets," he accused again, "Why do you have a whole box of them?"

She sighed, "I dunno, I just want sweets."

Carlisle looked her over, taking the pack of cookies she began reaching for. She'd already eaten an entire sleeve. He set the box to the side, "Are you alright?"

Y/N chewed her bottom lip, trying to formulate the sentence she'd been so scared to admit. She tried to reach for her cookies, but he held them out of reach. "You'll get sick," he scolded, "Tell me what's wrong."

She sighed heavily before deciding just to blurt it out. Just rip it off like a band-aid.

"I'm pregnant."

Carlisle froze, and Y/N winced. She waited anxiously for him to react, to do something. Carlisle smiled and she calmed. Then he chuckled lightly and shook his head, "No, you're not. It's not possible."

A weight fell over her before she sighed, "I am. I'm a werewolf, so I can have kids, and well… maybe that's enough. Plus, I took a test three times. I didn't know how to tell you, I didn't want…"

Carlisle's smile had fallen. When she trailed off, he laid a hand on her cheek, "You didn't want what?"

"I didn't want you to leave me," she muttered, looking away.

He frowned deeply, cupping her face with both her hands now so she would look at him. She searched his eyes as he gazed into hers. "Y/N," he spoke softly, "I could never leave you. And you can tell me anything. You shouldn't have to be afraid. I love you, and I want the best for you. I'll never leave you."

She smiled and asked, "And…what about the baby?"

His smile grew again and her heart felt light. He told her, "Well, I've got to start thinking about names."

She chuckled as she hugged him tightly. She was elated by the fact that he was accepting her.

~

The next couple of weeks was spent with heavy preparation for the child. At first, everyone was concerned because the baby would be half vampire. Surely that had to be dangerous for Y/N, right?

But the child was also part werewolf and Y/N wasn't human. She was stronger than a human, she could handle a vampire baby.

The news was quick - too quick even - to spread across the town. The Cullens were having a baby.

They got lucky too - the baby grew close to the same pace as a normal one would. No one would be concerned about how quickly Y/N's belly would grow, Carlisle predicted six months. It was early, yes, but it was long enough that no one would question it.

Only two months in and Y/N realize just exactly what it meant to be Carlisle's mate. She knew he was protective, yes, but it truly surprised her just how protective he could get over her.

Especially when it was just some kid.

They were out getting groceries for the house when some punk kid walked past them. He saw her belly through her shirt and chuckled slightly, "Heh, that's a big one."

He was given no escape as Carlisle grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him over without hurting him. He let go of him and the kid looked between the two of them.

"Was that appropriate?" Carlisle asked as he looked down at the kid, the disappointed dad look written all over his face.

Y/N tried not to laugh.

"She's pregnant, not 'big'. Even if she was, that isn't something you need to be saying about anyone, regardless of the circumstance. I want you to apologize."

The look Carlisle gave intensified and she could have sworn the kid shuddered. He turned his gaze to her and spoke, occasionally glancing back at Carlisle, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude. I won't do it again, I swear."

She nodded, "Thank you. Go on before he continues his lecture."

The kid swiftly thanked her and left. She smiled up at Carlisle, shaking her head, "You know I'm a werewolf right?"

"Of course, dear."

"And that I know how to take insults and remarks?"

"Yes, but that doesn't mean you should have to," he kissed her forehead and they continued walking.

She laughed lightly as she kept walking with him. He told her gently, "I'll always protect you. Even if it is from punk kids calling you 'big'."

Y/N shook her head as she laughed, hand tight in his hold as she walked with him. He looked down at her, a smile on his face as he watched her. She looked up at him, "What?"

He shrugged, "You're glowing." She chuckled again.

Continue reading here...

Dr. Cullen taglist: @folkeverandalways

#carlisle cullen #carlisle x reader #carlisle cullen x reader #carlisle cullen x fem!reader #carlisle cullen x you #cullen #cullen x reader #cullen x female reader #twilight #Twilight series #the twilight saga #twilight x reader #twilight fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic

[sunghun]

enhypen pranking you

requested; yes!

warnings; some cursing??

note; help i feel like this took forever to write 😭 and i literally have no excuses other than procrastination and the fact that i couldn’t think of pranks for like half the boys. hopefully my next post won’t take as long...

unedited so apologies for any mistakes/typos!!

희승 | heeseung;

okay i feel like heeseung would be the guy to go on reddit and be like “how can i prank my s/o without making them cry or get angry”

will absolutely research until he finds the perfect prank

he decides on the one where you wipe off your s/o’s kisses bc like

that’s a relatively harmless prank right??

if only he knew

so later that day when you two meet up you give him a kiss on the cheek like always

and he just . wipes it off

you can tell he’s kinda trying to be discreet about it

and at first you’re kinda confused by it

but then figured maybe you accidentally put too much chapstick on and left some on his cheek

bc you know. that can happen

but then throughout the day he just?? keeps wiping them off???

eventually you can’t take it anymore

“alright lee heeseung what the fuck is your problem”

immediately he knows he’s screwed up

like you used his government name and everything

“i might’ve been.....idk.....pranking you. or something.”

“😐😐😐”

never tries anything like that again

who knew you could be so scary?

제이 | jay;

okay it took me like 8 years to think of a prank jay would do

but i feel like he might try the “pretending to talk bad about my s/o in another language” thing

like one day when you and him were just having a casual little date

he gets a ‘phone call’

and he’s just like “hey babe do u mind if i take this? sunghoon said he needed to talk about smth”

“ofc baby go ahead 🤗”

and so it begins

the first time you didn’t even realize he said your name

so the next time he like . overemphasized it

and yeah it got your attention it also made you suspicious as hell

his first mistake

you looked at him questioningly thinking that maaaaybe you were being dramatic and he was just trying to get ur attention

but he just ignored you and kept talking

and you kept hearing your name Very clearly

and you can see jay discreetly glancing at you to see your reaction

which just confirms that it’s a prank

and you’re pretty sure you know which one he was trying to do

so after like ten minutes with absolute no reaction from you

jay finally hangs up

and you’re just like “did u have fun pretending to trash-talk about me to sunghoon?”

he just freezes for a second

bc damn he did not expect you to figure it out that quick

but then he just wraps his arm around ur shoulders and grins

“typical y/n. sucking the fun out of everything.”

you’re about to protest

but then he gives you a very sweet kiss

so all is forgiven ❤️

for now

제이크 | jake;

i’m sure we’ve all seen those videos of someone calling their significant other by their name instead of a pet-name or smth

so naturally jake decided to try it on you

bc. ya know.

he only ever calls you cutsey nicknames and shit

his friends like to tease him abt forgetting your name because like. literally he never calls you by it.

but it’s okay because you never call him by his either

bUT anyways

one day when you two were just chilling at your place watching movies and stuff

and you were in the kitchen making some popcorn

so he just goes for it

“hey Y/N can you bring me some water?”

he has to stop himself from losing it at the way you just freeze

“i didn’t know we were back on that level, JAEYUN.”

oh shit

is literally the 😦 emoji

was not expecting the uno reverse card

makes up for it as soon as you sit back down

kisses all over your face and calls you the most ridiculous names.

“i’m sorry my lovely sugarbear, sweetie-pie, pumpkin, baby boo.”

he’s just lucky you didn’t bring him a glass of ice and tell him to wait <3

성훈 | sunghoon;

recently, you got a box from ur mom that was full of all your favorite snacks that you couldn’t get in korea

and you were like . so excited

which is why sunghoon, your lovely but slightly evil boyfriend

decided to play a prank on you

you had been gushing to him about how excited you were to have some of them when you got home from work/classes

and so he decided to hide them

later when you went to get them you almost had a heart attack when you couldn’t find them

“hey babe have seen those snacks my mom sent?”

“oh you mean those odd looking ones? yeah the guys came over earlier and we kinda finished them off. sorry hon.”

now

sunghoon was absolutely ready for you to get mad

he was prepared for shouting and maybe even having a pillow thrown his way

what he was not prepared for was your face falling and tears to start welling up in your eyes

“o-oh. okay.”

“wait y/n-“

but you had already started crying

which might seem like an overreaction but like

you’d had a really shitty day

and looking forward to those snacks and cuddling with your boyfriend was the only thing keeping you going

and you just couldn’t help it :(

“y/n, baby i’m sorry please stop crying.”

runs as fast as he can to where he hid them and brings them back to you

“look, see? i was just pranking you.”

promises that he won’t ever do something like that again

bc he hates seeing you cry :/

선우 | sunoo;

it took me so long to think of a prank sunoo would do 😭

but after some careful consideration

i think he would do smth like give you really salty cookies just to see how you react

like are you gonna tell him they’re awful in a nice way or will you just tell him straight up that they taste like crap??

is so obvious about it tho

“hey y/n wanna try these cookies i made with love just for you~?”

watches your reaction very closely when you take the first bite

he can tell that you’re trying so hard not to make a face

“wow, babe. these are uh, really good. thank you so much!”

wait what

are you.....trying to spare his feelings???

“are you sure? they’re not too salty or anything?”

“nope! i love them!”

did you just take another bite???

this time you can’t hide the grimace quite as well tho 😭

at his blank look you try to take another bite

but he stops you before you can poison yourself anymore

“babe you weren’t supposed to pretend to like them i know they’re awful 🤦‍♂️”

is very touched that you would eat a cookie that is like half salt just for him <3

정원 | jungwon;

okay don’t @ me but i feel like jungwon would just like . try to ignore you

like he saw someone on youtube doing it and their s/o was being super affectionate and cute trying to get their attention

and he’s just like.....😏 hmm.....

so he tries it out the next time you come over to his place

and you’re just . so confused??

bc aside from him opening the door to let you in

your usually sweet and cuddly boyfriend is acting like you’re not even here??

you start trying to get his attention with snuggles and cheek kisses and bringing him something to eat/drink

but the boy won’t budge

and now you’re paranoid

did you do something wrong??

is he really upset????

finally you can’t take it

and you come up to him a little watery eyed

“i don’t know what i did, but i’m sorry. i’ll try not to do it again.”

literally breaks his heart in two 💔

immediately apologizes and tells you that it’s a prank

and then cuddles you the rest of the night without letting go <3

니키 | niki;

one day while watching random youtube videos

niki got the stupid brilliant idea to pretend that he was gonna break up with you

of course he had to wait for the right timing and whatnot

and that seemed to be just a few days later

the two of you planned to play video games and watch some movies

and that seemed like the perfect time to do it

so a few minutes after he got to your place

and you two had just sat down on the sofa

he turned to you all serious and said

“y/n. i hate to do it like this, but i can’t keep it in any longer. i think we should break up.”

“oh thank God.”

wait what

why did you sound.....relieved???

“wh-what?

“yeah i was actually planning on breaking up with you, but you beat me to it! nice one, bro.”

niki frowns

“y/n this isn’t funny.”

“oh but it would’ve been funny if you did it to me?”

yeah turns out jake found out about his little prank and tipped you off

omg but once niki realizes that you’re not actually dumping him he just kinda.....crushes you into a hug

“i’m so sorry you’re right it isn’t funny please don’t leave me.”

the rest of the day is spent much more calmly after you two vow to only play harmless pranks on each other.

#enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #enhypen x gender neutral reader #enhypen reactions #enhypen x reader #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen x you

[thebeautyoffanfics]

I have a small request with Miya from Sk8 The Infinity of Miya trying to comfort his S/O when there parents are arguing If you feel comfortable with writing it.

(Gender neutral please)

Have a good day and stay safe!

miya chinen x gn!reader

a/n: sure thing!! You have a good day as well, and stay safe! And thank you so much for requesting, I love Miya so much <33 (actually, this reminds me that i really would like to rewatch sk8, but,,,,, hmmmmm procrastination) also!! It wasn’t specified, so I hope a oneshot is alright :)) if not, I’ll gladly rewrite it as headcanons! Either way, I hope this turned out alright!!

warnings: parental issues word count: 1,045

You sighed, looking at the outside of your house. School had just ended, and you honestly wanted to do anything but go home. The sounds of your parents screaming at each other, words no child should have to hear parents say to each other still imprinted in your mind. No, you really couldn’t handle it… Pulling out your phone, you walked back down the road, hoping your mom hadn’t seen you stop outside the front of the house. You shot her a quick text, asking if it was alright if you spent the rest of the day with Miya- then texting Miya, asking if you could go hang out with him for a while. Your mom was the first to text back, telling you to simply be back by dark. Miya then responded- “Sure. I’m over at Joe’s restaurant rn” You sighed, slightly relieved to get away from a place that you honestly didn’t feel like being in, and around someone you were always happy to see. Wasting no time, you began to walk in the direction of Joe’s restaurant. You weren’t necessarily hungry, but maybe you could buy something small… maybe that would get your mind off of things.

Once you stepped inside, you were greeted with a loud “welcome in,” from Joe. Nodding in acknowledgment of his words, you scanned the room for Miya, walking over to him once your eyes landed on him. He sat at a table, salad and several breadsticks sitting in front of him as he lifted his eyes from his phone. You took the seat next to him, offering an empty smile. “Yo,” He spoke, nudging the breadsticks your way, and shoving his fork into his salad. “Oh- thank you. You didn’t need to-” “I know, I didn't need to do anything. You didn’t eat a lot at lunch, so at least get those down. Who doesn’t like breadsticks?” Well, to be fair, there was no arguing with that- plus, looking down at the food, you realized that skipping lunch was finally catching up to you. The slightly nauseous feeling you got from staying up to your parents’ harsh words was less intense, as you took a bite from one of the breadsticks. Time passed, Miya remaining silent as the two of you ate. Honestly, it was nice. There was no pressure to talk. No pressure to think about the things that left you so upset. It was Miya, you, and your food. As all things should be.

“Now,” Miya spoke, after having led you out of the restaurant, your food long gone, Miya even having paid for it, “what’s going on?” The two of you sat near the empty skate park, a spot the two of you went to rather often. He knew your home life wasn’t ideal, and his honestly wasn’t the most ideal either. It was an escape. From home, and from people in general. He wasn’t the world’s greatest comforter, that was something he was well aware of. To be honest, in these times, he felt kind of bad that you had to go through these things with a boy as weird emotionally as he was- nonetheless, he was determined to sit there with you. He was going to listen, and he wasn’t going to say anything rude or dismissive. Miya truly cared for you, so he was going to try his best for you. “Uh… well… it’s just, my parents have been arguing a lot recently. I can barely sleep any more, since they keep me up by yelling, then I spend the rest of the night too upset to sleep properly. By now, it’s just a repetitive thing. It’s scary, and… genuinely, just- tiring. But- it’s fine. I just didn’t want to go home quite yet, you know?” Miya paused for a moment, considering what to say. He understood. Maybe he didn’t get everything you said- but he at least knew that it was terrifying when parents argue. On top of that, he certainly understood not wanting to go home. “Yeah… once you get home, it’s like you’re basically saying… ‘alright, bad things, come and get me.’ Or that’s what I feel- y’know, when things get like that. You don’t want to go home, since home doesn’t feel very welcoming. Your parents probably don’t feel very welcoming either. I know, it’s hard to even look at them when they’ve been at each other’s throats for so long. I’m not an expert, but… I’m sure things will get better. Whenever they get like that, text me. I’ll call if you want- I won’t mind being there for you as best I can.” Miya hesitated another moment, knowing that his words weren’t enough, yet not sure what else to add. In a moment of wanting you to know he cared, he faced you, and wrapped his arms around you. He never made eye contact, instead simply pushing you gently into his shoulder. “T-take this, and just pretend that- that I’m hugging you when your parents argue. Call me, and pretend I’m there. I’ll go over if you need me to. You don’t need to be scared when I’m there, after all. So… just know it’ll be alright. Things will work out, I’m sure. Don’t be scared, and… put on music, if you can’t call. Call me and put on music. Do anything to get your mind off of it. Your parents love you, and I’m sure they don’t want you to hear all that… I love you, and I definitely don’t want you to hear all that. So… stay as brave as you have been. And know I’m there for you.”

His face burned slightly, a lump in his throat as he forced himself to say those words. They were genuine- they were the most genuine words he had spoken in a while. Still, he wasn’t used to being so upfront about his emotions. Despite that, he wanted you to know he cared. He hoped, he hoped so desperately, that his touch and words would provide any sort of comfort. As you wrapped your arms back around him, your tears dampening your shoulder, he’d hug you tighter. He’d hug you as long as you needed, avoiding your gaze once the two of you separated.

#anon #request #x reader #gn!reader #x gn!reader #sk8 #sk8 the infinity #miya chinen #sk8 x reader #sk8 the infinity x reader #sk8 miya #miya chinen x reader

[wizkiddx]

hiiiii i love your stuff - could u do one where the readers ill but they have stuff to do and tom has to look after her. maybe if they were just friends before too but both pining? thankuuuuuuuuu

should I be writing this instead of revising? clearly fucking not. Did I make this little blurb req ridiculously long purely to procrastinate? Of fucking course.

but also this was v cute! I assumed u meant famous!reader, sorry if that's not what u were after at all anon x

summary: Tom Holland turns into the readers knight in shining armour when they get ill during promo

warnings: fainting / feeling ill

///////////////////

It couldn’t be today. Of all days, why today? You’d been at home for two weeks doing absolutely nothing, before this trip. And yet it’s when your itinerary is packed to the brim, people moving heaven and earth just speak to you. Two weeks of unrelenting press for Marvels next big ensemble movie. 

Your manager was speaking to you, reeling off a run down of todays activities but instead of listening you nodded along blankly - head rather cloudy with this heavy mist that was not shaking off, no matter how hard you tried. 

“You got that Y/n/n?” Lucy pointedly spoke, eyes almost physically knocking you backwards as if her eyeliner was battery rams. Fumbling with your thoughts, your answer wasn’t particularly cohesive earning you just a disappointed head shake. 

“I um… yeh I think. Who-who did you say I was paired up with?” 

“Y/n please for the love of god. Tom, like I said the past fifty times.” And to be fair to Lucy she wasn’t wrong. It was the first major major promo tour for the both of you and after just two days so far - you were both exhausted. She was more than allowed to be a bit short tempered. 

“But we-we hardly know each other? The chemistry won’t be there and-“

“As I said, I tried to re-jig it but Kevin is of the mind that acting is your job.” Her tone was sharp but as she glared across the opposing seats, in the little mini van Marvel had hired for you as transportation, her eyes softened. Lucy had been so wrapped up in her own stress she may have overlooked quite how gingerly you were sitting. By the time she had arrived at the hotel, your stylist had already managed to half save your ghoulish looking face, with sunken under eyes and tired skin, so it wasn’t so blatantly obvious how crap you were feeling.  “Is everything okay with you?” 

It felt pretty puny to say that the jet lag from flying to Tokyo had been weighing you down further than you wanted, or that the local cuisine top chefs had kindly prepared for you last night wasn’t siting well in your stomach. To be honest, even you thought it was just your body being a bit overdramatic. So in response, you put on your best happy-go-lucky face feigning a smile.

“No no I’m fine, just want to give the best interviews I can and you know…. I’m awkward as hell as it is, then pair me with the most talented actor that I share about two minutes of screen time with…it’ll be interesting.” 

The way Lucy reacted with a weird slow nod, eyebrows furrowed, meant it was quite apparent you had perhaps overplayed that one. Had you not been so over the day before it even began, you would’ve tried again to give a more believable act. But as you were, you turned your attention back out to the bustling streets of Tokyo and the high rise buildings bordering each pavement. 

You didnt have a problem with Tom, far from it in fact. Tom was hilarious and the times you had met him, you’d both built up this weird and sarcastic competitiveness with each other. It was a game of who could get the last laugh, each of you pushing each other with the Mickey taking just a little further. Of course, not in a malicious way, just the way you’d both lived pretty similar but parallel careers - when everyone drew comparisons between the both of you, it was nice to make it a joke. 

Like Tom you’d also started out on stage, had a ‘big break’ movie as a kid and then spent your teenage years on and off film sets - till marvel happened. Then everything blew up to epic proportions, changing your life forever. Actually, it was so similar to Tom’s story, plus the fact you were also from the south west of the UK. It was bizarre your paths hadn’t crossed more - He probably could’ve been a useful ally in the the whole ‘becoming famous’ thing. 

And yet, you could probably count on two hands the amount of conversations you’d had with him. 

Now that, that was the issue. Right from the beginning you learn what the press want and when you are publicising a movie you cater into it too. They’d all be asking for the insider scoop on set; what pranks you’d pulled on each other; what was the most annoying thing about each other. Which is hard if you’d only had 5 or 6 days actually on set together. 

By the time the cab had wormed its way through the Tokyo traffic and you arrived at the PR hotel, it was already 9:30 - making you 15 minutes late (blame it on the traffic). Instantly then you were ushered straight to the interview room for the evening, no chance of green room chat or grabbing a drink before. The place was stuffy, everything was draped with black curtains except the poster board that Tom was already sitting infront of. 

He’d scrubbed up well, no doubt about it. He was wearing statement-ish burgundy suit trousers, teamed with a black knitted but collared shirt thing - that was clearly tailor made for the man. As soon as he noticed you scurry into the room, his face broke out into a warm smile, jumping up to greet you in a friendly hug. It was brief, and as you pulled back you accidentally bumped your head on one of the overhanging lights. No doubt someone had spent a ridiculous amount of time configuring them so they were positioned perfectly, which you had just ruined with your big head. 

“Oh shit!” Tom just laughed in response, shaking his head slightly as he lead you the two steps across to your pre-positioned seats. 

“Making an entrance as always I see!”

“Yeh, you know me, a bit of chaos just to keep everyone on their toes.”

“Oh is that why you’re ‘fashionably late’” With a playful wiggle of his eyebrows, you just rolled your eyes, fidgeting on the chair to find a position that didnt aggravate  your stomach so much.

“I’m ready now though! What did I miss? Just having to pretend to be your friend for 15 minutes?” You stressed the words as though the thought of conversation with Tom was the absolute worst thing in the world - which you definetly didnt think. Scowling like you’d insulted his dog Tessa, it was almost visible how the cogs were turning in his head looking for a comeback. Unfortunately for him though, he was quickly shut up but the organiser bringing the first interviewer in . 

For what would, no doubt, be a long day. 

////

Everything had started off so well, the banter was flowing between you and Tom, no major spoilers revealed that meant Marvel would have to make the journalist disappear. It was once you hit an hour of back-to-back interviews that everything started to crack bit. Because yes, it had only been an hour but that was enough to exhaust you on this particular day. When Tom joked around you got slower and slower, similarly the  energy was zapped from your own answers. It’s not very compelling when someone says ‘you have to watch this movie’ in a monotonous voice with sullen eyes. 

As the interviewers were swapping in and out, Tom actually lightly nudged your shoulder.

“Everything alright? We’re trying to sell tickets and you’ve got a face like thunder.”

“Oh no-no sorry I just, I-um.”

“You want some water?” Now looking at your with more concerned eyes, as if he was just nervous he’d actually offended you for calling you a boring bastard. And you would’ve picked up on it and alleviated his concerns, if it weren’t for the fact your eyes were glued on the water bottle he was holding out to you. You were thirsty. You knew that, that wasn’t the conundrum. What you weren’t so sure about was whether your stomach would accept it, or more violently reject it. In a very non ‘we’re-trying-to-sell-a-movie’ style. 

But the lightheaded fogginess in your brain won out, as you nodded jerkily, taking the bottle and taking a little swig - too cautious to take anymore. 

Now concerned with how Tom thought you were being a Debby-downer too, you managed to perk yourself up for the next four interviews. They were easy, asking questions without any activity and though you did rely on Tom beefing out and adding to your answers, it was okay. Then the next interviewer came in, who you recognised as being from the BBC, Ali Plumb, that had interviewed you a number of times. From the way Tom jumped up to give him afirendly bro-hug, you guessed he also was familiar with him. As soon as he took a seat the cameras were already flashing with the red light, demonstrating his 7 minutes had already started. 

“Guys! It’s been a while.” 

“How are you Ali?” You started it off with the pleasantries, Tom echoing, before the speccy dirty-blonde asked his first question. 

“So the last time I spoke to you guys the universe was in chaos, Peter Parkers on the run and Aurora Blake was trying to strip her own powers, so I guess my first question is how are you both doing? We can use this as a therapy session if you guys need.” His very typical nerdy joke made Tom laugh, nodding as he leaned forward and repositioned a bit. 

You didn’t share the same humour though, more focused on this invisible blanket of stuffiness that seemed to have been thrown on top of you. It made you feel groggy, incredibly hot and so unbelievable nauseous. The lights weren’t helping either, it felt like you were pouring with sweat from your forehead. You thought Tom was answering Ali, even if you couldn’t really hear  - everything had merged into a deafening roar. Adrenaline coursed through your veins, unconsciously making you fumble yourself to standing, desperate to get somewhere with fresh air. The last thing you saw before your vision tunnelled into darkness was Tom, reaching out to try and catch you. 

Because next thing you knew, you were on the floor, wires from all the cameras and lights digging into your back as you looked up to see Tom on one side and Lucy on the other - both wearing a similarly panicked expression. You knew you hadn’t been out long, seconds if that, going by the fact everyone else was in the ‘oh my god’ phase of panic. It was a bit weird how calm you where, but then again all your life you’d been the ‘class fainter’. Waking up on the floor was something you were long since used to. 

“Y/n? You awake?” Rather stating the obvious Tom asked the question as you bent your head up - allowing you sight of all the concerned facing oggling you. With a defeated sigh, you flopped your head back. 

“If this is a dream then it’s a real bloody nightmare.” This time Tom didnt seem to appreciate your joke, looking at you without almost dumbfounded eyes, as you blinked repetitively and groaned. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Lucy appeared to want to lecture you, which to be honest wasn’t the most time appropriate. You were still on the floor, legs crumpled up under you, so ignored her. Instead you pulled yourself up into a sitting position, taking a moment to blink away the blotchy haze that threatened to takeover your vision once again, whilst the pair above you both cautiously rested their palms on each of your shoulders -trying to be useful. The room still felt cramped and stifling, as everyone around were no doubt looking at you. 

It took a few minutes but your body seemed to get over itself, sitting up normally and trying to make small talk with Ali - who, by the way, was still sat awkwardly in the chair. Still nestled on the floor, your back up against the chair you had been siting on as you raved with Ali of the Harry Potter theatre show. In a natural lull in conversation, Tom perked up - from the door where he’d been muttering with the organiser as Lucy bit her nails nervously. 

“Y/n you need to go home.” 

All of you knew what Tom said was impossible. Not being egotistical, but you were too important. Although you hadn’t been paying masses of attention for Lucy’s run down of your itinerary - you knew it was packed. 

So you just looked up and rolled your eyes at Tom, earning yourself a strong glare, before locking the organiser in eye contact.

“How many have we got till lunch?” 

“Um this gent here” He gesturned toward Ali, who was almost squirming in his seat now “then two more.”  

“And then lunch?” 

“Yes, then you have a personal appearance at a dinner, so transport will be coming to pick you both up.” This poor guy seemed obsessed with the clock and his timetable, looking at your with a mixture of panic and frustration. You should know this stuff, you should’ve listened to Lucy. 

“How fars the drive?” 

“At this time probably an hour and a half.” 

The plan was clear in your head, you’d sort yourself out in the car and be fully fine by the afternoon and evening engagements. Plus you felt almost fine now. So with a sigh, you hauled yourself up onto the chair, patting for Tom to sit back down. 

“It’s half an hour and then I’ll sort myself out at lunch - come on their waiting.” The way Lucy pouted showed she disagreed somewhat, except a stern look kept her from protesting, as Tom walked toward you. 

“Are you sure you don’t loo-“

“Let me stop you before you insult my appearance.” Snickering slightly at his worried face, you laughed it off , knocking his side with a gentle murmur of ‘don’t worry about me’. 

In fact after that little episode you did feel a little recovered, which meant you were properly noticing the change in the boy sat next to you. Throughout the remaining three interviews he’d done a complete 360 from earlier. Rather than trying to get little digs at you, he had become fiercely protective - jumping in if a questions wasn’t particularly appropriate or relevant to the movie ( meaning when an awfully crap man asked what underwear you’d been able to wear in your suit) ; taking the heat of the conversation as well as just watching you like a hawk. Each time you answered his beady brown eyes were watching you from the side, you got the impression it wasn’t only just because of the risk of spoilers. 

Quite remarkably, you survived the rest of the day pretty well, after a power nap in the car on the way over - even if it was a bit difficult when you had your manager watching you like a hawk from the seat across. It was as if Lucy had never seen anyone ill before, she seemed concerned that you were going to spontaneously stop breathing and die at any point. 

Though by the time all the official business at the dinner was done, your body and willpower had reached the end of their tether. You and Tom were both on a round table, surrounded by 6 CEOs and execs of what seemed to be a multimillion pound business enterprise. With the language barrier meaning you had to speak through the two people on the table who were fluent in both japanese and English, the conversation was already pretty jilted. Though to be fair, the six did seem to be enjoying the evening - something you werent able to reciprocate. Thankfully, five minutes after the main course dishes had been collected, Tom spoke up from his position opposite you.

“This has been lovely and we really appreciate your time and generosity but me and Y/n have a really early start tomorrow so I think we should probably get back to the hotel.” You swore in that moment you could’ve kissed him, and it looked like Tom could tell - by the way your shoulders sagged and you let out an exhale of pure relief. Apparently even if you’d managed to convince the hosts you were enjoying the evening, Tom easily saw through the performance. After some hurried goodbyes, Tom led you out of the hall with his hand hovering over your lowerback, trying to make sure your exit was as discreet as possible. 

Away from the bubble of chatter and activity, in the deserted hallway, Tom stopped you - lightly holding both hands on each of your arms. 

“Wheres your team?” 

“Um Luce is back at the hotel, she was trying to see if she could reschedule any of my stuff tomorrow.” You winced at the way he sighed, realising you were all on your own in some random business event hall in Tokyo.

“Harry -my brother- is waiting in the car at the front - is that okay?”

“No Tom, don’t worry abo-“

“Yeh well I am and I think you feel ten times worse than you’re letting on.” He spoke harshly, like a school teacher telling you off - except the hint of a kind smile at the end was a dead giveaway. 

“You sure?” 

With a relieved nod (Tom had thought you might be a bit more stubborn - you obviously were really really ill) he wordlessly shrugged his suit jacket off, wrapping it round your shoulders. He muttered something about not wanting you to catch a chill but to be quite honest you were a bit distracted by the woody cedar smell of Toms aftershave that enveloped your senses. Maybe it wasn’t so bad being fussed on by him? To be fair he wasn’t wrong either, you were in a strapless evening dress - you would’ve preferred to be in joggers, but Marvels press team had other ideas. 

After a quick pit stop at the toilets, the two of you managed to make an unnoticed escape out the building - into a big SUV which had seconds prior pulled up onto the steps. You literally melted into the nearest window seat, body hunching over as you probably crumpled Tom’s jacket beyond belief. 2 seats along from you, a frizzy haired boy gave you a sympathetic smile, which you returned weakly whilst muttering a ‘hi’. Meanwhile, Tom pulled the sliding door shut, sitting across from you. 

“Oh Y/n this is Harry and Harry this is Y/n.” In unison both of you replied with an ‘I know’ eye roll. Your response was somewhat more shocking to both Holland boys, you could tell from the way they had this whole nonverbal conversation with their eyes - they were very clearly brothers. Needing to explain you continued. “I like to keep tabs on my castmates, I’ve seen you on Toms instagram.” That had both boys smirking, Harry presumably just because you knew who he was; Tom more smugly, you’d just given away you slightly stalked him on instagram. 

Silence reigned for a moment, as the driver put his foot down slightly. 

“How you doing?” Tom asked. 

“Mhm…” you thought for a second, how to eloquently describe the sensation. 

“shit.” 

Both boys chuckled a little and even though you had closed your eyes in an attempt to dull the throbbing behind your temples, you could feel the eyes on you. 

“You want the music off?” Harry asked, referring to the indie-rock coming quietly out the speakers of his laptop, which was resting on his lap. With a shake of your head you refused, even if really silence probably would help your head, you were already causing the two Hollands enough trouble - no need to bore them during the journey back into central Tokyo, especially when you weren’t the most enthusiastic company ever. 

Thankfully the music stayed on a low volume, whilst the car seemed to settle into a comfortable silence. With a long exhale you fluttered your eyes open, seeing Tom focused on his phone, before you rested the side of your head against the black-out glass. Taking some relief from the cool glass, you huddled further into the corner of the car against the door.

Floating in the space between sleep and wakefulness, you were kind of aware of your head occasionally bobbing and jerking about - but really didn’t have the energy or willpower to do anything about it. Instead, the thing that perked your attention was hearing some supposed-whispering from inside the body of the car.

“I know she said she didn’t care but she was clearly lying-“ 

“Like you know! You’ve been desperate to try and spend some time with Y/n- maybe you poisoned her just so you could be all knight-in-shini-“

“Turn. The. Music. Off.” Tom sounded scathing now, and with a grumble from your other-side the cheery drum beats ceased.

“Happy now?” …and Harry was sarcastic. 

“Swap places with me.”

“What?”

“Just do it.”

“Why?”

“So she can lie down.” 

“Well no because you would still be in the way if we swapped.”

“Yeh but she can lie on my lap idiot.”

“She can lie on me.”

“She doesn’t know you!”

“Well for 1, barely ten minutes ago she said she did know me. And 2, she doesn’t know you any better!”

If this was their version of whispering, you would love to hear what volume ‘shouting’ was. There was no reply for a short while, you imagined the two brunettes locked in some intense staring match.The next time Tom spoke he sounded more defeated - almost begging. 

“If I admit you beat me at the driving range the other day will you-” 

“I KNEW IT!” Harry yelped, the volume making you jerk, eyes flying open before reflexively closing because the light was too bright. There was a little mutter of an apology, then silence again. 

Once agin you must’ve drifted off because it felt like absolutely no time had passed when a firm but gently hand on your shoulder nudged you awake. 

Sure enough the boys had swapped position, Tom now sitting along the seat from you, Harry looked a little sulky from across the way. It was Tom who was reaching over, a gentle and peaceful smile on his face.

“You wanna lie down? Don’t want you to strain your neck.” He wasn’t wrong, adding to the throbbing headache, the cloudiness in your brain and the unsettled feeling in your stomach… now your neck hurt. Just bloody great. 

Had you been your normal witty and perceptive self, you might’ve teased Tom as to why him and his brother had done a switch - but everything hurt and all you wanted to do was sleep for a hundered years. So with squinting eyes you jerkily nodded, missing how Tom chuckled to himself. The guy undid your seatbelt, then sat back to let you balance the back of your head on his thigh, looking up at the roof of the SUV. Already your eyes were closed again, you kicked off your slip-on heels and bent your legs up to lean against the backrest - occupying the position you had been sat in before hand. You felt his hands reposition the jacket, pulling it round so it was now like a blanket tucked under your chin. 

To be fair it was much more comfortable than sitting up and you weren’t even aware of how quickly you dropped back into sleep. 

Though it wasn’t quick enough to miss Harry’s very sulky sounding comment, presumably meant only for Tom’s ears. 

“Still think you’re being fucking creepy bro.” 

<33 lemme know what u think! (would make me feel less guilty for not doing all the work I rlly should be doing aha)

tagging : @hallecarey1 @crossyourpeter @hollandfanficlove

#tom holland x reader #tom holland #tom Holland angst #tom Holland fluff #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x actress!reader #tom holland x famous!reader #harry holland #tom holland request

[aiiwa]

FRESHMAN YEAR — IWAIZUMI HAJIME.

— iwaizumi hajime.

⤷ genre: college au - fluff / smut

⤷ warnings: cursing, mature content and themes, smut, oral (receiving and giving), unprotected sex

⤷ word count: 6.2k

— a/n: this was an anon request for a reader trying to sneak off away from iwa the morning after and he ain’t having none of that 😈

i had no intention of this being so long, but iwa just gets me going aight!!

freshman year of college had given you many things.

an unrivalled expertise in procrastination - avoiding the overwhelming influx of assignments from your professors was second-nature at this point; party now, cry later, right? carpe fucking diem, no? either way, it had also given you a liver which begged for a glass of water, a drop even, anything but the wretched burn of vodka and the copious amounts of iced lattes at three in the morning. and deities forbid your mother ever finding out her daughter lived off of spicy instant ramen that somehow was always on sale at the campus convenience store. you even considered the discounted prices stemmed from the store owners taking pity on you each time you stood before them counting loose change.

yet freshman year of college had also given you a best friend in the form of matsukawa issei. and hanamaki takahiro, since they were a package deal of course. but mattsun had been presented to you on a silver platter.

butt ass naked, just like the day he was brought into this world.

arriving on campus a week before the start of the first semester, the last thing you expected to see was a hunched over figure, bare ass mooning right in front of you, banging on the fragile door of your dorm. shaking out of your stupor, you had all but cussed him out in the corridor, earning more unnecessary attention from other nosy students, before you dragged him by his arm into your room. in the flurry of your attempted rescue, he’d dropped the hand that was holding whatever sliver of dignity he had left. you had even failed to realise how this strange boy was almost a foot taller than you, and rather being eye-to-eye, it was rather eye-to-waist - and you had made the mistake of glancing lower.

“yeah lil’ big mattsun is a looker, right?” you prayed everyday to forget his first words to you. the prayers had yet to be answered, though your initial reaction had made it somewhat alright to think back on.

you had screamed bloody murder, sending mattsun into a frenzied panic, his own screams harmonising yours. then you had cried, furiously rubbing at your eyes, and sobbing about how your eyes would never be the same again. when he had reached out to comfort you, that’s when you turned on him, jumping upwards to swat at his bony shoulders. after he tumbled over your rug, the two of you halted, eyeing each other before laughing like maniacs.

he left your dorm that day, running off in your pink fluffy robe with plans to meet up later for dinner. when he introduced you to the pink-haired makki - the reason behind mattsun’s nudity at your door, though the specifics were lost - the three of you hit it off like a bunch of crazies.

most days were spent between your dorm and their shared apartment; stress eating over forgotten assignments, binging shitty reality tv shows - the bachelor was just hitting different this season - and pre-gaming a bit too hard before nights out.

it had confused you at first on how, as much as you were over at their apartment, you had yet to meet their other roommate. makki had told you he was a close friend from back home in miyagi, the serious type who spent most of his time training, studying or working; and it was mattsun who had said he was a total mom, “he’s our mommy,” were his exact words, adding to the list of things you wish you could forget.

it was probably around two months into the semester, when you’d finally met their elusive third roommate.

that night mattsun, makki and you were in a rare state of focus, working diligently on your own respective papers, when they’d nominated you to heat up some frozen pizza to snack on. which is how you found yourself, grumbling, bent at the waist to place the pizza in the oven; ignorant to the jingling of keys, and heavyset footsteps entering the kitchen.

“well this is something new to come home to.”

you jolted at the sound of the unfamiliar voice, whacking the side of your skull on the edge of the counter in a haste to stand up to your full height. you cursed loudly, hand pressed against the throbbing pain in your head as you turned to glare at the culprit. though that was cut short, alongside your breathing, by the sexiest man alive you had ever laid your eyes on, entering your personal space.

he towered over you, not in the same way as mattsun or makki, but what he lacked in height, he made up for in brawn. your eyes greedily traced his body; the steel gray gym shirt clung to him like a second skin, eight slight dips outlining his abs and his wide chest. broad shoulders blocked your view from everything irrelevant behind him, and you watched, almost in slow motion, as his biceps flexed under the tight confines of his shirt sleeves, to reach out and place his much larger hand over yours. you felt every fibre in your being going into overdrive under his unexpected touch, and all he was doing was checking over the swelled up island on your forehead.

“are you alright, y/n?” your ovaries were quaking at the deep rasp of his voice- and wait, he knows your name? “you are y/n, right?” he asked, reading the confusion on your face. you nodded absentmindedly, raising your gaze to meet his own.

you groaned inwardly - who gave this man the right to a sexy body and to look this fucking good? taking in the handsome features of his face; wild crop of dark chocolate hair, smooth tanned skin, highlighting the sharp cut of his jaw, and the attractive straight of his nose. his lips were pouty, eyes slanted under shaped brows, olive hues peeking past his long dark lashes to stare at you.

he moved his hand away from the top of yours, the added warmth missed already; and took your lack of reply as a sign to introduce himself and apologise.

“i’m mattsun and makki’s roommate, iwaizumi hajime. sorry for scaring you.”

you were ready to drag mattsun and makki to hell and back for hiding this fine man- no, greek fucking god, from you all this time. in an attempt to compose yourself and avoid anymore embarrassment, you smiled, dopily, releasing an airy laugh while waving off the apology.

“i’m l/n y/n.”

amusement shifted over his features, a smirk painting over his lips as his eyes creased on the sides. you had to hold on tightly to the reigns forbidding you from openly swooning.

“i know.” he chucked lowly.

you had never wanted the ground to swallow you whole as much as then. the heat you could feel radiating off your cheeks was a clear sign of how embarrassed you were, making a complete fool of yourself in front of the man you were borderline prepared to request to be your future baby daddy. so when mattsun strolled in, casually greeting iwa and poking at the bump on your forehead, you hadn’t been more grateful for your best friend.

too bad it wasn’t enough to avoid the wrath you unleashed on him and makki later on; a series of kicks to their sides, and their own personal hell of listening to how badly you wanted to be split open on his dick.

thinking you had scared away the gorgeous iwaizumi, you were ready to be avoided at all costs. yet surprisingly, after that night, he was suddenly everywhere.

he joined in on your hangouts with the boys. group study sessions where you usually did more foolery than studying? iwa was there to knock all of you into gear. late night fast food runs to satisfy your cravings? iwa was driving, kicking mattsun and makki to the back of his jeep when they’d try to steal your designated seat next to him. and the parties he used to avoid? there he was stuck in the chaos of it all, holding your drink and glaring at anyone who dared to approach the two of you.

of course, iwa’s sudden involvement in your life hadn’t gone unnoticed by mattsun and makki - the two of you becoming their favourite victims to tease. and when his threats and your fists were no longer able to get them off your backs, iwa had taken to spending time with you, without them.

you liked to call them not-dates, even though it was just to parry the feelings rapidly developing for him.

going to the coffee shop you two often frequented so he could buy your favourite drink while you ranted about your shitty group presentation, was a not-date. taking him to the drive-in godzilla screenings every friday for five weeks, because you knew they were his favourite movies, was a not-date. him making you dinner every other night because your mom found out about your insane intake of instant ramen and blasted you during a video call while he was over, was a not-date.

as expected after months of this going on, your two best friends constantly called you out for your not-dates being actual dates. even one of your classmates took to informing you each time your ‘body builder boyfriend’ was waiting outside for you. but ignorance was bliss, and you were sure iwa didn’t feel that way towards you. at least that was until the day you had met oikawa tooru.

you noticed that iwa had been more than a bit apprehensive, as each day passed bringing his best friend’s return to japan closer and closer, though he wouldn’t explain why. yet it seemed it was over nothing, since you and oikawa got along great, even if he did comment every other second on you and iwa’s closeness. meeting the pretty setter had been like placing the missing puzzle piece in the dynamic with your favourite boys.

after a loud lunch with the four boys, oikawa had pulled you in for a tight hug as iwa was about to drop you off to your afternoon class for that day.

“iwa-chan talks about you all the time, y/n-chan, but he’s a dum-dum so forgive him for being slow, alright!” he had whispered in your ear, before pulling away with a mischievous glint in his mocha coloured eyes. “iwa-chan you sly dog! keeping y/n all to yourself, hmm? maybe i should just take her back with me to argentina- wait, iwa-chan, i’m sorry! don’t chase me! gah!”

after that, you started to accept the fact that maybe what was once simply physical attraction, had turned into a deep affection for iwaizumi. the only issue was that, like oikawa said, iwa was a dum-dum, and he didn’t mention anything from what oikawa said that day or his extreme reaction to oikawa’s teasing. hell, you didn’t even know if he even realised that the way he treated you, which was very much a stark contrast to how he treated others, was him subconsciously wooing you.

so the not-dates continued, and you inevitably fell deeper and deeper for sweet, oblivious iwa.

the semesters flew by, it was finally the end of freshman year; exams completed, life instantly renewed, and you were ready to attend the shit show of an end-of-year finisher tonight. the plans were for you to drive over to the boys’ apartment, pre-game like never before, and then head off to the party. so you were surprised when your phone pinged with a string of messages from the group chat.

stepping out of the elevator, the click clack of your laced-up stilettos echoed in the tiled corridor, as you made your way towards the boys’ apartment. the better part of you was suspicious of mattsun and makki’s sudden change of plans; though it was shot to the back of your mind as you raised a manicured hand to tap against their door.

shifting around a bit, you didn’t have to wait long before the door was yanked open.

“y/n.” iwa greeted you with a lopsided grin.

you couldn’t prevent the gasp that escaped your glossy lips at the sight of him.

an arm was held above his head, bicep flexing as his hand rested on top of the door frame, the other scratching the back of his thick neck. the rich scent of his cinnamon cologne, mixed with the musk of his aftershave wafted around you; as your eyes followed the droplet from his damp hair, sliding down the side of his jaw on to his bare shoulders. now, shirt-wearing iwa was incredible, with his collection of monotone coloured shirts that always seemed a size too small; but shirtless iwa? had you frothing at the mouth.

you dared your eyes to move lower, skirting over the delicious sight of his bare chest, and willing yourself to commit every stretch of him to memory. the taut muscles of his stomach tightened as you drank them in, the deep v indents cut around his hips, and your eyes followed over the fuzzy trail of dark hair that disappeared underneath the waistband of his jeans that sat dangerously low.

and while your mouth ran dry, you couldn’t say the same thing about the situation between your legs; pressing your thighs together to alleviate some of the pressure.

“iwa, uh...the boys...said to come over, change of plans.” was all you were able to choke out. physically you were standing before him, but mentally you were writhing under him.

“i know, they left a while ago.” he replied, the corner of his pretty mouth tugged upwards. “i’m almost ready to go, come inside.”

he already took up the entire space of the door frame, and when he only moved a bit to the side, you were forced to slip through the tiniest of gaps; shivering as your shoulder grazed against his own. standing in the middle of the hallway, you heard the soft click of the door closing, before iwa turned to face you.

you could feel the intoxicating heat radiating off his body spread across your own. the two of your were so close in each other’s space, chest to chest, and even in heels, you still only reached just under his jaw. when you glanced up to look at him, you swore you had caught his olive eyes lingering on the exposed skin of your breasts, before they moved to meet yours.

something different swirled in the depths of iwa’s eyes, something you had never witnessed before. something kin to a wolf staring at its lamb; a hunger so strong, so...fuck...

“you look beautiful, y/n.”

the compliment strikes you in surprise, feeling the flush rise up in your face, and the fluttering in your stomach. you could feel the pounding of your heart beat, drumming in your ears; watching his adam’s apple bob slowly, as he moved his hand to brush away the hair covering your neck. naturally you leaned into his touch.

“iwa…?” you whispered out to him in slight confusion.

“this dress on you...driving me crazy,” he starts, before cutting himself off with a groan. “sorry, y/n, i-i think i overstepped.” he tries to move his hand away from your neck, but you wrap your fingers around his wrist.

oikawa’s voice ran through your mind in a fleeting memory- ‘...forgive him for being slow, alright!’

“are you drunk, iwa?”

“what? no...i haven’t...i’m sober.”

“that’s good then.”

“y/n? good for what?”

“it’s good because then you can show me.” your fingers reach out to flitter over the ridges of his stomach. “won’t you show me how my dress drives you crazy, iwa?”

the surge of courage coursing through your veins, to be able to call him out like you had wanted to for months and seasons, was all it took for iwa to lose the composure he always kept up around you.

without hesitation, the big hand on your neck tugs you right into him; tits pushed together against his chest, as he dips his head to press his lips against yours.

the kiss is far from simple; there’s no room for it, months of pining won’t allow sweet and slow. your hand slides over his broad shoulder, to pull at the dark tufts at the nape of his neck; mouth slanting over his, tongues brushing against each other sensually. you explore his mouth, tasting him, while his hands squeeze over the curves of your body, eliciting a moan once he grabs at the fullness of your ass. you push up against him further, the hard tent in his pants straining against your belly.

“more, iwa, please...need more.” you pant against his lips.

“i got you baby, don’t worry.” he kisses you again, slower, with just as much passion. bending at the knees, and hiking the end of your dress up under your ass, he grabs at the silky underside of your thighs to lift you up into him - ankles locked at the bottom of his spine. he’s carrying you like nothing, and the amusing thought of his arms not only being for show flies through your head before you’re gasping.

the feeling of being pulled flush against him, the damp heat of your clothed pussy grinding against his bare stomach, has you keening for more. he groans loudly at the feeling of your slick coating his skin, and you jostle about as he begins walking through the hallway and towards his bedroom. as your sucking gently on his tongue, he carries you into his room, kicking the door closed behind him.

once his knees hit the edge of his mattress, he gently lowers you to lay down before him on your back. he hovers over you, the lewd swirling of your tongues has your head spinning before he moves from your mouth to latch onto your neck.

“ah, iwa- fuck,” you moan as his teeth grazed your sweet spot. he rolls his hips into you, spreading your legs to accommodate him more, while tugging at the ribbons of your heels. “what about...the party?”

sitting up from you, he grips your legs, sliding you right into him. through heavy lidded eyes, you watch as he takes in your disheveled appearance, a smirk taking over his features.

“fuck the party.” his large palms work the straps of your dress down, exposing your perfect tits; he groans at the sight, leaning down to take a pebbled nipple into his hot mouth. “this night is for me and you, baby.”

you weren’t necessarily a morning person, so living in the dorms, had been a relatively easy decision to make. you had a room to yourself, away from trees allowing a nice view of the campus grounds, and subsequently circumventing the annoying chirping of nested birds. you even added blackout curtains to block out the morning sun.

so when you were woken up by the itching burn of the sunrise on your stomach and your ears ringing with incessant twittering, you groaned loudly.

burying your face deeper into the fluffy pillow under your head, you were squirming under the heavy weight resting over half your body; irritation growing with your inability to get comfortable. peeking an eye open, blinking away the sleep clouding your vision, you took in the sight of a sleeping iwaizumi snuggled between the valley of your breasts. as you became more aware of your body and its surroundings, you felt the panic settling in.

as if he could sense your consciousness, the arm wrapped around your waist gave you a squeeze as he mumbled incoherently. “mmm, baby...y/n...feels good…” his hand slid down the side of your thigh, goosebumps following his fingertips, before it rested on your inner thigh; and he was drifting back to sleep.

you had to shove your fist against your mouth to stop yourself from screaming.

part of you was in denial that last night had actually happened. you, l/n y/n, had spent the night with the iwaizumi hajime - man of your literal dreams, who you had fallen so deeply for. and you had spent it having sex.

raw. nasty. passionate. earth-shattering. sex.

“fuck.” you whispered to yourself. “how could i be so stupid?” you were cursing yourself internally, certain you had fucked up everything you had built in your friendship with iwa - there was honestly no coming back from what transpired between you two.

and with your fight-or-flight response triggered, there was only one thing for you to do right now - get the fuck out of there.

maneuvering your body from underneath iwa’s big arm, without waking him up was a feat in itself. doing so with the way your muscles ached with each motion was on another level. sliding one foot after the other out from under his charcoal bed sheets, you pushed yourself up to sit.

looking behind you at iwa’s sleeping figure, you felt yourself swooning. half lying on his side, with his cotton sheets draped over his waist, you couldn’t help but admire him. his mouth was slightly open, his big arms cuddling the pillow you were laying on, and the smooth skin of his tanned back were tainted with red, angry marks. gulping audibly, your eyes dragged down to the prominent outline of his half-hard cock.

pushing himself up by his forearms, the desperation swimming in his eyes was begging for your touch. you grazed your teeth across his chest, biting at his hardened nipples teasingly, before moving further down from his lap while your tongue drew circles around the dips of his taut abdomen.

“y/n, don’t tease me.”

you smirked at his order, sucking on his skin and pressing wet kisses on his hip bones, before leaning back. he watched you eagerly as your dainty fingers tugged at his belt buckle clumsily, lifting himself up he could slip out of his jeans.

“can’t wait to have your cock in my mouth.” you cooed, eyes starstruck at the tent in his boxer briefs, wet patch dampening at its peak. hooking your finger under the waistband, you hastily yanked the briefs down to free him, his hard cock slapping against his stomach. “fuck you’re so big, haji.”

he was easily the biggest you’ve seen, ever had the chance of pleasuring - so thick, so long, and so fucking beautiful.

you didn’t bother to dwell on the taste of his name on your lips, when you were too busy tasting the essence leaking from his angry, swollen tip. you could barely wrap your hands around the base of his cock, as you pressed a sweet kiss on the head, pre cum coating your lips, before taking it in your hot mouth, suckling gently.

the groan he releases is animalistic, and his hips buck upwards to shove his cock deeper in your mouth. pressing your hand at his navel to keep him steady, you continue sucking harshly, almost painfully, before lowering your head down. his cock slides down your throat, inch by inch, as tears prick at your eyes and you can feel your drool drop on the thumb massaging his balls. he blocked your airways, but fuck breathing when the look on his face when you take all of him in your mouth like a good girl is so, so perfect.

steadily bobbing your head, you feel every inch of him down your throat; tongue swirling around his length, and he twitches every time you trace the thick vein on the underside of his cock. you suck faster and harder as iwa reaches a hand out to feel around your throat.

“fuck, baby, i can feel me in your throat. so fucking good, just like that.” he hisses out, choking up when you begin to hum. “mmm fuck- ah, shit! gonna cum baby! fuck!”

yanking away your hand you hadn’t realised was brushing around your neck as the vision of him disappeared from your thoughts, you stood up, a bit unsteady on your feet at first. you could still taste him, as you ran your tongue over the hood of your mouth.

knowing you were getting distracted, you shook your head gently, pushing your hair away from your face. you needed your clothes, so glancing around, taking note of the strips of clothing scrambled in his room - your eyes caught the baby pink of your lace panties hanging from his bedside lamp.

one second you were swallowing his cock down your throat, and the next he had torn the rest of your dress off and had you laid out in front of him.

iwa made fast work in manhandling you the way he wanted. stretching his legs straight beside you, he pulled you right into him; you gasped as he lifted you up by your waist, practically folding you with the underside of your thighs tucked under the bulk of his arms, knees by your shoulders, and your lower back pressed right against his heaving chest. he was hunched over you, wrapping you fully in his embrace, while you were spread out right in his face.

“you soaked right through your pretty panties, baby.” leaning down, he presses his nose right into your clothed heat, making you squirm, as he breathes you in. “fuck, you smell so sweet, i wanna eat you up real good.”

“i-iwa.” you whined, staring at him through heavy-lidded eyes as you pressed the side of your face into the mattress.

“no, no baby. when we’re like this…” he starts, reaching a hand to tear the thin, and expensive, material right off of you. before you have a chance to complain, his hot breath blows on your drooling pussy, tight hole clenching around nothing in anticipation. “...you’ll say my name.”

“h-hajime, please, haji.” you beg, feeling embarrassed at how exposed you were. he could see everything, do anything to you as he pleased, and you would just let him. so when he presses his heavy tongue flat against your slit, licking all the way up to your throbbing clit; you can’t help but dig your finger nails into his toned calves beside you. “ah- yes! mmm...haji, oh-!”

sucking on your clit, he digs his fingers into your thighs, deeper and deeper in response to your whiny moans for more. he hums against you, mumbling about how sweet you taste, how much he can’t get enough of your flavour, and you can feel him getting hard again - grinding against your back. he slides his tongue between your folds, slurping you up so good, that it’s no surprise you’re teetered over the edge.

“haji! oh, oh fuck! ah yes!” the waves of you cumming hits hard as your pussy gushes all over the lower half of his face. “daddy! s-so good, f-fuck!”

still up in the clouds from your high, calling him daddy flies over your head, but isn’t missed by iwa. you watch, dazed, as he moves away from your pussy, a lewd string of silver connects his mouth to you, his chin glistening with your juices. reaching around your trembling thighs, his thumbs spread your lips so he can get an ever better view of your sopping cunt.

“i knew you’d be my good baby and say my name.” he grins, before leaning back down to you and delving his tongue right in your pussy, tongue-fucking you slowly and massaging your slick walls, his nose nudging your sensitive clit. “now come again in daddy’s mouth.”

heat pooled between your legs as you stretched, ignoring the iwa-sized hand prints painted purple across your thighs, while you thought about him and the magic his mouth performed. waddling to his side table - you examined the remnants of your panties; the pretty pink lace was all but shredded, and you hopelessly threw the material in the trash.

“fucking hell, iwa.” the glare you aimed his way, softened drastically as you took in his sleeping figure. sighing, you turn and spot what may be your dress halfway under his bed.

shuffling over, you crouch, the burn in your thighs making itself even more known and forcing your eyes to shut in a grimace.

the way iwa’s cock filled your little cunt felt while you rode him was incredible. nothing could ever compare to the way he was ruining you from the inside out, and you were sure nothing would ever come close. his big hands palmed your ass while you were bouncing up and down on his length, your belly jutting out every time he was sheathed inside you, your thighs tremored each time they slapped against his.

“fuck, daddy! feels...mmm…wanna cum, please!” your tongue was lolling out of your mouth, as fucked yourself on his cock, digging crescent moon shapes into his shoulder blades. one of his hands remained firmly on your ass, while fingers of the other reached around to pinch your clit.

with a scream you came undone, creaming all over his still-hard cock, and collapsing forward onto his sweaty chest. you whimpered, while he continued to fuck up into your used pussy. despite the tears threatening to fall down your flushed cheeks; you mewled for more.

“shh, baby,” iwa hummed into your neck, you could feel his grin against your skin, peppering kisses as you leaned into him. “daddy’s gonna make you feel even better.”

his thick arms wrapped almost painfully in a death grip around your exhausted body, as he locked his legs and angled himself into your pussy; fucking deep inside you, and hitting your cervix with each stroke. you came again, harder, legs quivering as your insides spasmed; this time joined by his orgasm, as the mixture of his cum was stuffed inside you.

your eyes shot open, breathing slightly laboured. it hadn’t even been a day, only mere hours, and the way iwa had taken over your mind was slowly driving you insane. dropping to your knees, you reached out to grab at your dress, having to slide the top half of your body under the bed.

that sound of iwa’s big hand slapping your ass while he pounded into you from behind, rung in your ears, but the sting and the pleasure was all your fucked out brain could comprehend. he was absolutely relentless with his too-big cock, tearing into you.

on all fours, you arched your back more to accommodate him. each thrust had him bottoming out in your already leaking pussy.

“fuck baby, just like that, mmm- push back into me.”

everything just felt too fucking good. the harsh pace of his strokes had you blabbering, moaning about how good he felt into the mattress.

“don’t stop! oh fuck, please don’t stop haji!”

but you felt his pace begin to slow just as you were about to climax, and when you tried to move back on him his grip on your waist tightened. with ease, he flipped you on your back, almost skewering you on his cock still inside you. hooking the backs of your knees over his elbows as he leaned over you, his full weight folding your body underneath him, as he wove his fingers with yours into the mattress above your head.

“look at my fat cock sliding into that sweet cunt, baby.” iwa grunts. his arms strained, holding his weight up from crushing you, as he teased your sloppy hole. “fuck, you take me so good, baby.”

you whimpered, looking at the connection between the two of you. with a roll of his hips, you watched as his cock slid into your silky walls, the lewd sound of you squelching with every stroke had you arching up, wanting him deeper in your tummy as you gushed around him.

unlike before when his thrusts were rough, filled with raw feral passion; it was now slow, sensual and so fucking sexy. and when you met his gaze, as he continued to grind into you, gripping your fingers tightly between his; it felt as though he was trying to tell you something.

that intense emotion swirling deep in his olive gaze was searing, burning through you from the inside out. everything unsaid between the two of you. but soon enough your orgasm hit you harder than ever, pleasure electric under your heated skin.

“haji, haji, haji- oh, fuck yes!” you chanted his name like a prayer.

“y/n, baby, fuck i love you-“ he moans out, strokes becoming sloppy. “wanted this...for so long- shit, i’m cumming baby!”

snatching your dress from under the bed, you sat on your knees at the foot of his bed, thinking over everything you just wanted to ignore for the time being. you almost wish you could forget he had told you he loved you. how could you possible believe those three words while he was at the pinnacle of his pleasure?

suddenly the shrill ringtone of iwa’s phone blasted next to him. scrambling to your feet, you snatched the phone; fingers mashing the screen to cut off the sound before he woke up.

“what?” you hissed, holding the phone to your ear as you glanced at iwa. you thanked whichever gods were watching over you that he was still fast asleep.

“oho? y/n-chan? is that you~?” nevermind, the gods were out for you.

“tooru?”

“the one and only!” you winced at the smug teasing in his tone. “i was hoping to speak to iwa-chan, but i heard he was a naughty boy last night!”

“uh...what?”

“as in i literally heard him, and you, last night when i came back to the apartment!” oikawa recalls in a sing-song voice, rambling on about how he was here to surprise the two of you. “i always knew our dear iwa-chan had a daddy kink!”

placing the phone between your ear and your shoulder, you attempted to fit your dress over you, while oikawa continued on his spiel of how it took way too fucking long for the two of you to do something about the sexual tension. you had no chance to even peep a word in.

“damn baby, now this view i could definitely get used to.”

you almost shrieked, bumping into iwa’s naked body, and tripping over the dress  dropped around your ankles. you had no idea he’d woken up, sneaking right up behind you in all his naked fucking glory; forcing you to try your hardest not to eye his cock standing at full attention.

“is that iwa-chan?!” oikawa all but screams into the phone. iwa raises a questioning brow, hearing his best friend on the other line. “tell him to be good and wrap it up! no glove, no love!”

you had no business feeling embarrassed at the brat king’s words, while iwa snatched his phone away from you.

“too late for that, shittykawa.” oikawa’s screeches are the last thing you hear before iwa ends the call.

you almost dare to chuckle at the thought of oikawa’s reaction; but falter under iwa’s stare. it’s the same look he gives mattsun or makki when they’re in trouble, but it’s mixed in with the same scorching look from last night, and you shift on your feet nervously, wrapping your arms across your chest.

“going somewhere?” iwa gruffs out, the raspiness of his morning voice had you tugging your bottom lip between your teeth.

“um, home…?” the uncertainty was clear in your voice, especially as he scowled when you mentioned leaving. “iwa, i-”

“oh so it’s iwa now?” he cuts you off, taking a step closer into your space. “i liked it when you called me haji, though daddy follows closely after that.”

you gasp when a thick arm snakes around your waist, pulling you up against him. his other hand caresses your cheek so sweetly, before he grabs your jaw to tilt your face up to his, taking your lips with his own. the kiss is gentle, soft lips moving against your own as his tongue brushes yours sweetly. you’ve fully melted in his hold, eyes still closed when he breaks the kiss.

“i meant what i said last night, y/n.” he whispers against your mouth. “i love you.” your eyes shoot open, and you can feel your heart trying to beat itself out of your chest.

“i-i love you too.” you murmur back, and the smile he gives you has you ready to combust right before him. after all this time, a party had been the reason you finally admitted your feelings for him.

“now come back to bed.” you squeal as he lifts you up and over his shoulder, the grip he takes on your inner thigh is ticklish making you squirm about. “i’m gonna cuddle you back to sleep, and then when we wake up i’m gonna take you out on a date, okay baby?”

you giggle as he tosses you back on his fluffy mattress, dropping himself right on top of you and nuzzling his face into the dip between your neck and shoulder. running your hands softly over the muscled panes of his back, one reaches out to thread your fingers in the tufts of dark hair at his nape.

“okay, haji.”

freshman year had given you a lot of things, but iwaizumi hajime was the best thing yet. you couldn’t wait to see what sophomore year had in store for you.

© 2020 AIIWA. please do not copy, modify or repost my work.

#haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi imagine #haikyuu smut #iwaizumi hajime #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu college au #iwaizumi hajime x reader #oikawa tooru #matsukawa issei #hanamaki takahiro #haikyuu #haikyuu!! #iwa x reader

[bangtanpromptsfics]

pyxis.

dialogue prompt #9: “Cheer up it's Christmas Eve, sweetheart”

pairing: jimin x reader

genre: christmas au, brother's best friend au, fluff, childhood friends to lovers

word count: 3,412 (oh no)

warnings: reader is a lil sad but nothing angsty tho

summary: christmas was always an eager wait. less for the tree decorations, family dinner and the fuss of toddlers. more for your childhood best friend who you kissed under a mistletoe years back.

a/n: ahhh!!! I'm not completely satisfied with how this turned out to be. the inspiration was from a few christmas themed fics I read here and the movie ‘It's Christmas, Eve’. anyway this was my attempt though it's nowhere near christmas time. one of my personal goals is to celebrate a christmas like the west, the snow, the fuss and the commotion ;-;. Also I lost sense of time and space and this turned out to be 3k ;-;

masterlist

“Cheer up it's christmas eve, sweetheart”, your mother chimes as she pours brown batter into little cupcake moulds.

You simply smile at her, the festive mood not really getting to you because of exhaustion. Uni was tough, and enjoying this Christmas when you know you have tons of essays due in a few days was hammering inside your brain every now and then.

“Is that chocolate?”, you ask, leaning your tired body on the counter where she is at work.

“And orange”, she smiles, turning around to preheat the oven.

“Where's Jin”. Though you hated the routinely flicks against your forehead, the absence of your big brother felt weird.

“He went with Jimin to get the Christmas tree”.

The mention of Jimin brings a smile to your face. His soft features and captivating grin filling your head. If there was one of the few things you enjoyed coming back to your hometown for holidays, it's chocolate cupcakes your mom bakes and Jimin.

His family are friends with yours after all. You, Jin and Jimin attended the same school until college and other priorities in life drift you apart. Though the bond must have rusted a bit, you can't deny the fact that you still have that crush which started somewhere in middle school, on a chritmas eve like this when he kissed your cheeks shyly under the mistletoe. Your friends and family, and even Jimin himself must have seen it nothing more than platonic, but you still find yourself relieving the moment in your head however crazy it may sound.

Standing up straight, you decide to fix your bed hair and complete the skincare routine before the said duo drops.

“Mrs. Y/L/n...”, Jimin softly kicks the back door. He is carrying one end of a huge fir, and your brother on the other end, grunting from the freezing snow outside.

“Oh dear place it right there”, you mother is quick to her feet helping the boys and doing her usual commentary on how well the tree looked.

Jimin looks more handsome than ever, especially with his nose and cheeks dusted in scarlet from the cold. He looks really huggable in his fluffy sweaters and red beanie. Jin is busy commanding around so you choose to sit back, a very typical sibling energy and the size of decoration boxes and the tree itself not really appetizing to your will to find any strength.

“Hey Y/n!”, Jimin stares back at your eyes in a split moment which has your lashes fluttering suddenly. You probably look like you are carrying a disease and right now you become very hyper aware of that.

“You alright? You look tired”, he comments. You feel his eyes carefully studying the black under your eyes and worrying his mind because that's what he is like. He cares about everyone and everything, has a heart so soft it hurts to even think about it.

“Jet lag...”, you say, “I'll be fine”. You shoot a little thumbs up on his way to reassure.

“Why didn't Jin get the tree earlier? It's Christmas in a few hours”, you dodge the focus around you and walk near in an attempt to closely examine the tree for no reason other than feeling Jimin’s eyes a little too long on you.

Your brother gets visibly annoyed seeing you start a very unnecessary talk. So he is completely obliged to shoot back with, “Because you were in charge of Christmas decorations this year but your lazy ass flew down here only yesterday”.

“You know I was busy with Uni!”

“Whatever”, he shrugs, getting back to the box of tree decorations. You feel a little bad seeing yourself not being helpful during a festive season. It felt like you were procrastinating on your responsibilities as always.

“Um...is there any way I can help?”, you ask softly, earning a mischievous grin from Jin and your mom fills in the answer.

“We need more baubles. Also I missed out gifts for Aerum and June, so maybe you can get them”. Now this was already tiring and you were not lying earlier either, the jet lag was still choking you alive. You wonder if the huge pile of stars and glitters beside your foot aren't enough but then maybe it's true because this is the largest fir you ever saw for Christmas in your house. And speaking of the five year old notorious duo, your cousins-- Aerum and June, you have no other option than to step out into the butt numbing cold and get something for the sake of not getting your brains eaten.

While you stand there doing these calculations, Jimin puts a two and two and immediately suggests to tag along with you.

“That'd be great! Thanks sweetie”, your mom chimes, her fine lines of face gathering around her eyes while she does so and you catch her throwing a wink to your side and you pretend you never saw that.

“Thank you Jimin”, you smile in all honesty while he reciprocates the same.

“No problem. I'll get my car. Will you be ready in an hour? I think you just woke up”

“Uh...yeah”, you fake a laugh, “Yes I'll be ready in an hour”

Jimin still lives here in your hometown, attends a community college nearby and his house is just a few steps away from your own. You remember how you had the same analogy in your mind as well. You like living here. You like Jimin’s company. The lake Park and the annual ice skating competition in December and the bookstores and coffee shops at the outskirts of the town. And you can't seem to clearly remember when and where that feeling started to become foreign. Maybe it was a teenage quirk to explore the world that you are now a three hour flight away from all of this. It wasn't a deep regret, but seeing Jimin, it almost felt like it. It felt like you betrayed him. Because he seemed to be keeping his word to this day.

This year, it's a few degrees lower than what it usually is and you find yourself chattering your teeth together as you walk to Jimin’s house.

His footsteps rush to get the door as soon as you ring the doorbell and he greets with the same wide grin as if he hasn't just saw you an hour ago.

“Let's go?”, he asks immediately, getting house keys from his coat pocket and locking the front door before stepping out making you confused.

“There's no one home? Where are your parents?”

“Oh well didn't Mrs. Y/L/n tell you?”, he studies your features and gets his response so he continues “They went to New York this year for Christmas. It's some elder people thing I think...so I'll be spending Christmas this year with your family”

“Really!?”, you chime, and then immediately notice a very childish jump you did with tiny fists and all, feeling a little embarrassed at yourself, “Ah... uh I mean that's great”.

“Yeah”, he giggles, sounding like a twelve year old who is still waiting for his growth spurt, “Get in the car it's freezing in here”.

Since it's been six odd months you've spoken to Jimin, you figured it would would be strange and awkward to be with him, but his demeanor states otherwise. He could effortlessly begin conversations and build momentum with you and by the time you are at a thrift store, he is aware of the little gist of student life and the dramatically exaggerated history research paper still due.

“What are you getting for the twins?”, he asks, seeing you checking out the kids toys section with absolutely no idea and that's exactly what you reply to him.

“How about this puzzle?”, he brings a big jigsaw to your glance and you figure it's a great thing to have their little brains engaged and give yourself time to breathe.

“It's perfect!”, you add, immediately placing it your cart with a few decors you picked up from earlier aisles.

Jimin places an extra pack of Christmas candies in the cart, and you send him a questionable look knowing it's his way of bribing the kids coming this evening. He puts too much effort into people's happiness, something you wish you were capable of as well.

The shopping went smooth. It was therapeutic to get hot chocolate with extra marshmallows afterwards like he insisted followed by that very cliche movie scene where one of them develops a creme moustache and the other notices and dabs it off.

You want this moment to linger a little longer, but your whole family arrives in less than two hours and the decorations were due. If Jin doesn't have you in the next thirty minutes he might as well eat all the cupcakes your mom is baking as revenge.

“I had a great time”, Jimin states as he stops the car in front of your house, stealing the words from your mouth and warmth hugs your cheeks immediately.

“Me too. It's been long since we spent time with each other”

You hear a lone sigh with white fogs coming out of his plump lips while he does so, as if he were suddenly sad when you mentioned that.

“Are you okay?”

His grips tightens around the steering, “I've missed you”, he says, eyes meeting slowly. And as if he was suddenly pulled back to earth he conjures another sentence to not sound so vulnerable.

“I uh... It's just--”

“I've missed you too”

Even with the gear box painstakingly blocking the way, you throw your upper half towards his body anyways and you find him hugging you back. His hugs still feel the same from years back; safe and warm and filled with love.

If it wasn't for the constant reminder that your brother is probably plotting a murder against you, you would've stayed much longer in his embrace. Maybe the hug was a big straightforward for a bond still gradually blooming, but it didn't feel weird at all and when you pull back he is smiling down at you.

“I thought you two lovebirds flew off”, a very annoyed Jin states from above you. He is balancing himself on a chair to attach the mistletoe to the ceiling.

“Sorry hyung”, Jimin says. And somehow now you are getting super aware of the way your family is low key shipping you both. Not that it's an irritating thing of course though you seem to act like it. But you have no idea what's going on with Jimin, what if he said he missed you as your childhood friend? It's a lot difficult to segregate his priority of giving affection. He seems to be giving justice in terms of care for every living being he knows.

“The circus is on its way so I hope you both hurry with putting up everything together”, the voice above states, now lowering himself to ground after putting up the twig.

Three of you giggle at the mention of your family as a circus. Well in a way it definitely was. You have a bunch if uncles who crack awful jokes, a trait Jin himself as picked up from a tender age of ten. Then their wives and kids who share certainly the same braincells in comprehending things. You bet they'll ask you again about your major and your dating history once they walk in through that door amidst clearly stating everytime that you are a history major and yes still very single.

In the hallway there is a half decorated tree. A thread of fairly lights wrapped around the green and very few baubles hanging here and there.

“I'll put up the star and join you”, Jimin says, digging out a golden star from the carton. Though now he doesn't know why it was a good idea for him to announce that when both of you were almost the same height. He is just a few centimeters taller than you and the top of the fir is still very much way above your heads.

So with a chuckle you both figure Jin has to do it.

“This is your final year right?”, Jimin asks stepping closer to you. He seemed nervous about something. Or was it anxious?

“Yeah...you?”

“Yeah...”, his sweet tone was drawn almost like a whisper and you sense you should ask him further about what's wrong. But before you had to deal with a starter he continues,

“Are you planning to work in Chicago as well?”

“Sweetheart help me clean up the kitchen please”, your hear your mom's voice overpowering through the house. Which is good. Because you don't know what you are supposed to answer. It was as if he was almost hopeful that you'll choose your hometown all over again. But you aren't sure. So you take the opportunity to step away from the situation excusing yourself.

And while you are clearing the blobs of batter stuck on the counter, your mind is a haywire. What are you going to do? Though you know your whole family wants you to stay, it's still a foggy place to be in. Four years apart in another city as a college student has not provided much, except caffeine addiction and sleepless nights. Things were not even as fun as everyone told you.

A few steps away Jimin silently prays that you stay, because he had truly missed you. Even though you have outgrown from the eighteen year old shell as he had known, he finds himself actively choosing to be with you. Even when other things in life occupies his mind, there's an element of it which goes back to you.

“They are here!”. You groan silently, while your parents are throwing their hands in air, giggles and chatter fills in as your uncles and aunts and the taunting toddlers welcome themselves in.

“Y/n! You have grown so much!”, the older aunt comments, and you supply a manufactured smile to tag along. Other comments follow by soon, about how tired you are, gasps about not having a partner and future plans, all of which are not completely answerable at the moment but you manage to get through them all and finally excusing yourself back to the garage convincing there are more decor supplies in there.

Families are nice. They make festivals brighter and lives less lonely. But yours was just hard sometimes. Not that you completely loathed the people now fueling themselves off the cup cakes your mom bakes, you were just merely lost, still yet to come up with an answer to what your stance is after graduation.

“Hey...”. Jimin has joined you now which you notice feeling a warmth against your shoulder when he sits, with an extra scraf knowing the garage is still comparatively chilly than the house, “you okay?”.

“Yeah...I was just...thinking”

“Is this about earlier? I'm sorry if I made you anxious”, he quickly adds.

“No!...I mean yeah but, it's high time I find a ground with this. What are your plans?”

“I was thinking about teaching at Jefferson High”, he shifts rather uncomfortably. He is talking of the school in your town, your school, where you have lots of memories with Jimin, “You know...like we said during Junior year in high school?”

“I'm sorry Jimin”, you feel the guilt inside you growing, “I never kept my promises”.

“Hey...that's okay! Everyone changes. I just want you to be happy. I...I hope you are happy Y/n”, he reassures, taking your hand from your side and squeezing it between his soft palms.

“I don't know about that either...”

As much as you hated showcasing vulnerability to another person, you know Jimin is an exception. You had cried to him about everything during school days and he had never invalidated a single thing, even when you were visibly dramatic over a downpour during a family picnic when you were five.

Jimin is frozen on his seat as if he can't find the words. He was never good with words so instead he hugs you, a little longer than the last time till he is sure you have calmed down. Grateful for not ending up crying, you smile up at him and remind yourselves to get back inside to avoid suspicion, especially from the kids who take humiliating people as an important milestone to achieve.

When you enter back inside and get immediately surrounded by a million questions and chores thrown at you, you find your answer. Maybe your heart belongs back to everything your younger self had blabbered about. Not to mention, this fairly good reunion with your crush feels nice, though, he might still see it as platonic. Maybe he makes things less daunting.

By the way Jimin was owning everyone's heart in the house, it felt like he was family. Well in a way he is. But to put more clarity, he bought things together and his actions bought so much peace and love within everyone. Even the notorious twins listen carefully to him and help the uncles and aunts in the kitchen.

He is again by your side, two cupcakes rests on his palms and you take it with a silent ‘thanks’.

Seeing no signs of him beginning a talk now, you think of coming up with something. Maybe a memoir from today? Or about how absolutely handsome he looks right now? Wait.

“They are under the kissing twig!”, Aerum screams like the house caught in fire, her sibling joining by the side to provoke the habit even more.

“It's called a mistletoe Aerum”, your aunt corrects before pasting a smug across her lips.

Nothing changed. They are the same people. Hyping you and Jimin to kiss just like when you were thirteen. If the factor of time is removed, this is the exact night. Both of you cemented to the flooring as if you forgot to exist.

Both of your necks snap together to the mistletoe Jin had attached to the ceiling earlier. And when you lower your gaze back, face gawks at each other eye to eye. It's the same. He has that blush, the shyness from years ago. It's going to be platonic. Yet again. And this moment will only ever be romantic and flowery in your head.

June was the first to squeak, and Aerum shuts her eyes the moment Jimin is leaning his mouth towards your lips. It was difficult to relax under the stares of many, but when he ghosts his mouth over your again and leans in for a second kiss, you are fixated on him. Hands holding each other, the plump of his lips so soft it felt like you were biting into a fluff of cloud.

Maybe he'll have an explanation to your family for this. Not like anyone in the audience was disappointed. Your mother was almost in tears? And Jin looked hardly surprised with any of this. As if it was all swell according to his plans.

“You both are so cute”, one of the aunts awes and your mother is quick by her side, completely agreeing to it.

“Jimin...”, you return your gaze to the equally flustered man who just kissed you and he sounded almost breathless,

“I'm sorry if this was wrong it ju--”

“I like you”, you immediately snap in and his face is a void for an instant. Fully processing the words, his eyes disappear when he grins, “I like you too...a lot”.

“Are you two dating?”, the twins haven't dropped the case yet, running to your feet to help their curious brains.

“Yes...”, Jimin responds, looking up at you for a reassurance, which you quickly supply with a nod, “Yes we are dating”.

When the kids are satisfied they go away snickering to themselves.

“I decided to stay”, you say.

“Really!?”, his disbelief was comical, yet wholesome considering how much he wished for this, “I'm...I'm so happy!”.

Giggling at him, this time you lean forward and peck the corner of his lips.

“You lovebirds better get a room”, Jin announces and thankfully not loud enough to catch everyone else's attention.

Usually Jin expects a punch to his arms from his sister, but he sees how grateful you are for his mistletoe decor. He leaves the couple, satisfied that there won't be any more ranting about how much Jimin likes you.

Thank you so much for reading!! ♡♡

Original Content of ©bangtanpromptsfics

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[bobohu4eva]

Pink Lace - Chapter 5

Characters: Baekhyun x Reader

Genre: College AU, stripper AU, fluff, smut, slow burn

Summary: Baekhyun, a philosophy professor with mysterious wealth, got himself completely fucked over a girl who can’t let him into her life.

Word count: 4k

Warnings: sex work, mentions of sexual assault, adult themes/situations, eventual smut

Tag list: @smolbeanmika @leave-me-in-the-summertime @totallynerdstuff @bbhmystar @nana-banana @kimyhappy @thegreatandi @geniusloey @deligxt @baekswifey @bbhyun506 @lovebuginlove @bellamendoza @baekyeonoreo @bobohumyonlyboo

Masterlist

After your conversation with Baekhyun Monday evening Tuesday was spent desperately trying to get Baekhyun off your mind, with little success. He’d asked you if you liked him like that, and you couldn’t tell him no. Hell, you knew in the back of your mind that the answer was definitely yes, you just couldn’t bring yourself to say it to his face. 

As much as you did like him, the prospect of starting something with a customer who was also your professor was still terrifying. What if you two got together and people found out? Or what if things started to go south and you were still stuck with him as your teacher? 

Despite your other schoolwork, and cleaning basically everything you possibly could, your mind just kept racing with every different possible scenario for if you did tell Baekhyun how you felt. And most of them were quite unpleasant. He could lose his job, you could make class absolute hell for yourself if things didn’t go well, and so on. Different possibilities played themselves out in your mind over and over, and there was little you could do to stop it. 

However the thoughts that stuck with you the most were the ones where things didn’t end badly. Thoughts of his arms around you, his comforting words whispered in your ear, and the gentle touches of his pretty hands on your skin. As much as you fought it, the attraction was there. 

The way your mind bounced between thoughts was stressful to no end. Every time you tried reasoning with yourself, you just thought about how good he made you feel when you were alone together. 

Baekhyun was always so willing to be vulnerable with you, it made you feel appreciated. He was so open about his feelings, and honest with his intentions towards you that it made it difficult to push him away. You wanted to be able to show him the same kind of vulnerability as well, but the possibilities if you did still frightened you too much. 

You knew you wouldn’t be able to go on like this forever, sooner or later you had to figure out what to say to him. 

Your essay was plaguing you as well. You’d tried to start it on several occasions, but Plato’s writing was so old timey and incomprehensible you didn’t even know where to start. It also didn’t help that every time you tried to start writing, all you could think about was what Baekhyun would think. The idea of turning a shitty paper in for him to read and grade made you feel sick. You knew you were shooting yourself in the foot putting it off but you just couldn’t bring yourself to start it either. 

“You’ve cleaned everything in the apartment. Twice. What’s with you today y/n?” Mia asked as she walked out of her bedroom and into the common area, finding you once again wiping down all the surfaces in the kitchen. 

“I’m trying to distract myself, was that not obvious?” You knew what was coming next. 

“Baekhyun still on your mind?” 

Yes. He was. In every possible way, good and bad, and you couldn’t stop it. 

“I think I do like him.” 

“See! I knew it!” You rolled your eyes at her. “Anything exciting happen yesterday? Did you decide to keep the money?” She asked, sitting down at the dining room table, you sitting down across from her. 

 “I’m keeping it, I tried giving it back but he told me some stuff and turns out he doesn’t need it after all.” 

“So he IS rich?!” 

“Yeah... although not from anything cool or fun. His rich parents died recently.” 

“Oh shit, that sucks. That must’ve been an awkward conversation.” 

“Not really. I don’t know why but talking to him is getting easier and easier. I even stayed after he told me I could go.”

“You really must like him then, damn. Can’t blame you though, he is hot.” You shot her an angry look but you both knew she was right. “So what are you gonna do about it?” 

“Do about what?” 

“You liking him. He obviously likes you a lot too, so what happens next?” 

“Nothing. He’s my professor.” 

The look she shot you next said something reminiscent of ‘are you fucking serious’.

 “Oh come on y/n this guy is hot, and rich, and super into you. Even if he is your professor you can’t pass up a fling at least.” 

“And when it ends? What then? Or if someone finds out he’s fucking a student? He’d lose his job and it would be my fault.” 

“No, it would be his fault, and he’s rich anyway so it wouldn’t even matter.” 

You thought back to your last conversation with Baekhyun, and what he said about his parents. Even if he did choose to risk it for you, the thought of him losing a job that meant so much to him still didn’t sit right with you. 

“It would matter to me. Either way I don’t want other students shit talking me either. If my classmates found out there was something between us it would be hell.” 

“All I'm hearing right now, is that you just need to not get caught. The semester is only 16 weeks, as long as nothing gets out while you’re in his class nothing too bad can happen. You just have to be careful.”  

You thought about it, and she wasn’t exactly wrong. As long as nothing got out while you were his student, nothing too bad could happen. 

“He won’t lose his job if people find out we’re together later on when I’m not his student anymore, right?” 

Mia shrugged. “He doesn’t hold any power over you anymore then so I don’t see why he’d get in any trouble. People might just think it’s weird since he’s older. How old is he anyway? He looks young.” 

“I’m not exactly sure... Somewhere around 30? Late 20s maybe? I should ask him.” 

“Yeah you should. I still have homework I need to do, I should get back to that.” She said before getting herself a glass of water and retreating back to her bedroom. 

~

The next morning you were exhausted. You hadn’t gotten much sleep because of everything that was going through your head. You wanted Baekhyun, and he wanted you, but there was still too much risk involved. But part of you kept thinking about what Mia had said as well. Could a fling really be that bad? 

You were nervous to see him too. You still hadn’t given him an answer to his question, and you knew you wouldn’t be able to dodge it forever. Lying seemed like a decent option, but you knew with how honest and vulnerable Baekhyun always was with you, you wouldn’t be able to bring yourself to lie to him. Especially when you did want something more with him, you were just scared. 

As philosophy class drew closer and closer you felt uneasy. You felt bad seeing Baekhyun again without giving him an answer, but you didn’t know how or what to say. You only hoped he wouldn’t press you for it. 

Class went by and you didn’t speak to him. He didn’t keep you after either, which was a relief. You had been hoping he’d at least go over some stuff that would help you on your essay, but you had no such luck, and you needed it done by midnight if you wanted any credit. 

When you got home you cursed yourself for procrastinating so much, but you had other homework too and you knew you’d be able to focus on that better, so you started it first. 

Eventually your mind got sucked into your physics assignment, and you forgot about Baekhyun and the essay, too focused on the task at hand. 

By the time you were done with your other assignments it was 8pm. Four hours until you had to submit your essay. One hour went by just reading and rereading the text you were supposed to write about. Another was wasted on an intro paragraph you kept deleting, because you still couldn’t understand the text. When 10pm hit, and you started to panic.  

You realized that you weren’t going to be able to do it. Your mind was now in freak out mode and you couldn’t concentrate anyway. Either the paper wasn’t getting turned in at all, or you needed to do something fast. In any other class you would’ve BS-ed  your way through it to turn at least something in, but you just couldn’t do that knowing Baekhyun was going to read it. You weren’t going to be able to submit it that night, but you needed to at least contact him and explain so he wouldn’t think you were stupid. 

By 10:30 you found yourself scrolling through your contacts, staring at his name. You’d thought about emailing him, but he probably wouldn’t see until morning and you didn’t have that much time. 

In hindsight you probably would’ve been fine to just send an email and try to get an extension, but the combination of anxiety over your grade and wanting to talk to him had his name in your phone looking better and better. 

So you called. 

Your nerves were on fire as you waited for him to hopefully pick up. Was this stupid? Would he even answer? Worst of all, what if he was disappointed in you for not being able to do the assignment?

After a few rings, he picked up. “Hello?” 

“Hi Baekhyun, it’s y/n.” 

“Y/n? Are you alright what’s going on?” You could hear the concern in his voice even over the phone, and you remembered why he gave you his number in the first place. 

“I- I can’t do the essay.” You felt your voice shake, before unloading all your grievances in one breath “I read the thing a million times and I still have no idea what it’s about and I put it off until tonight cause it was making me so anxious but I still can’t focus and now it’s too late and I don’t know what to do and I’m freaking out.” 

You heard him sigh. “Slow down, It’s okay, I know it’s a difficult assignment. Have you at least started?” 

“No..” You felt tears swelling in your eyes, threatening to spill and you’re sure he can hear it in your voice even over the phone. “Can I just skip this one? I tried to start it so many times but I don��t know how to analyze something I can’t even understand.” You choked out. 

“Y/n...” You could tell he was thinking of what to do. He probably shouldn’t give you special treatment, and you knew that but right now you hoped he would just give in. Unfortunately you had no such luck. “I’m sorry but I can’t let you just not do it. It would make it too obvious that I’m treating you differently than other students.”

“Then can you at least help me? Or give me more time? Please?” You begged.

“I’m still in my office. I can help you if you meet me here.” 

You felt your palms get sweaty and your heart beat faster at the idea of going to his office again after what had happened last time, especially this late at night and in such a fragile state. 

“O-okay. I’ll be there in 10. Bye.” You said, hanging up before he could respond.

Quickly you got on some shoes and drove yourself to the building his office was located in. Last time you’d been in there he’d asked you about your feelings for him, and now you had to go back. You told yourself to just focus on getting the essay done, but the thought still hung around in the back of your mind as you walked down the hall towards Baekhyun’s office. You felt jittery and embarrassed, but you needed to do this for your grade.

After taking a few deep breaths to ready yourself, you knocked on the door, and heard a muffled “Come in” from the other side, so you let yourself in. Baekhyun was sitting at his desk, which was covered in papers you assumed he’d been grading. Instead of the nicer clothes he would usually wear during lecture, he was just wearing a black t shirt and sweats now. 

“You know you scared the shit out of me when you called. I thought you were in danger or something.” He said to you as you sat down in front of him. “I really didn’t think you’d call me over school work.” 

“I’m sorry..” 

“It’s okay! I’m not mad or anything, just surprised. What part of the text are you having trouble with?” 

“All of it...” You felt your lip starting to quiver. “I’m sorry I know this sounds so stupid and you probably think I’m just trying to take advantage of how you like me but I promise it’s not like that.” You said, looking down and fidgeting with your hands, trying to hide the frustration on your face.

Baekhyun crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, smiling. “I never said I thought that. I told you it’s not an easy assignment, it’s ok if you’re having trouble. Plato can be difficult especially for people who aren’t used to reading things that old.” 

“I should’ve at least started earlier...” 

“Probably, but it’s too late to dwell on that now. Let’s just try to go over the reading together, yeah?” You nodded. 

He moved his chair to your side of the desk before opening your textbook to the reading for the essay. 

“So the first thing that makes The Ring of Gyges so confusing is that you don’t really know who’s talking. Basically it’s a conversation between Plato and his brother Glaucon where they’re discussing justice, and it’s actually Glaucon speaking for most of it, not Plato.” 

You were listening to what he was saying of course, but you were still distracted by the proximity. Baekhyun was sitting right next to you now, arms almost touching. The only other time the two of you got that close was at the club. And you did not need to be thinking about that while he was explaining your assignment to you. 

“Are you following me so far?” 

Your eyes immediately shot up from the book to meet his, and you quickly nodded. Having him look you in the eyes again like that made your face feel hot.

“Glaucon argues that people only peruse justice for the benefits of it, and not because they actually want to be good people. He uses the example of a ring that grants it’s user invisibility, therefore allowing them to do unjust things like steal without being caught. He tells Plato a story about a man who finds such a ring and uses it do overthrow the king.”

You groaned. “It still doesn’t make sense though, what does some story about a stupid ring have to do with justice?” 

“Well, if you were given the ability to steal and deceive people for your own benefit, without ever having to worry about getting caught, wouldn’t you do it too?” You stayed silent. “Basically, what you need to understand is what Glaucon is arguing. He’s saying that doing good deeds isn’t a part of human nature, and everyone would behave unjustly if they knew they would never get caught. Therefore, justice is something people pursue not out of want, but out of fear of the consequences if they don’t.”  

All you could do was stare at him. It was infuriating how attractive he sounded while explaining it to you. 

“Do you have a bit of a better idea what to write about now? Remember it’s only two pages, so don’t stress too much.” 

You snapped yourself out of your thoughts. “Yeah, it makes a bit more sense now... do I still need to finish it tonight or?” 

“Friday. Just email it to me by midnight on Friday and I won’t count it late.” He said, smiling again. 

“Thank you for doing this, I’m sorry it was so late and everything.”

Baekhyun just chucked, “You know if it’s you I don’t mind. You could keep me here all night with questions and I wouldn’t stop you. But you understand now, right?” 

The way he was smiling at you now along with the closeness was making you slightly dizzy. 

“I think so, Glaucon is basically saying that injustice is better than justice then right? Because everyone would do unjust things if they’d always get away with it.” 

Baekhyun nodded. 

“So according to him the best way to live life would be to do things you know are wrong, but without being caught.” 

“Exactly. See, I knew you were smart, y/n.” A smirk had made its way onto his face as he spoke. 

You couldn’t help connecting what he was saying to what you were feeling inside towards him. You wanted him, and you knew it was wrong, but how could you deny it to yourself when it felt so right? 

“Baekhyun...” You asked, hesitantly. “D-do you think it’s okay to do things you know are wrong, as long as no one finds out?”

“I think it depends what you’re talking about.” He answered, now looking you in the eyes again with intensity. “I would never kill anyone, for any reason, even if I knew I could get away with it. But, if I really wanted something, I think I would take it.” 

You were hyperaware of how his eyes were now scanning your face, lingering on your lips. “Take what?”

A hand made contact with your thigh, slowly moving up until he stopped, right below the hem of your shorts. His thumb drew soft circles on the sensitive inner flesh, giving you goosebumps. 

“I know you feel it too, you want this, don’t you?” Baekhyun asked, now moving a stand of hair out of your face. He let his hand rest on the back of your neck, keeping you facing towards him. 

Your heart felt like it was about to short circuit from how fast it was beating. Your palms were sweaty and you could feel yourself shaking slightly. The way his thumb stroked your neck beneath your ear made you shiver, and you knew he saw. All you could do was stare back at him, dumbfounded. Any words you tried to get out stuck in your throat. He was right, you did want it. Now more than ever. 

“Tell me you don’t want this. Tell me you don’t want me to kiss you right now. I dare you.” He said, running his thumb over your bottom lip, eyes fixed on how it trembled beneath his touch. He was slowly moving your face closer his, but you didn’t stop him. 

Your silence told Baekhyun all he needed to know, and his lips quickly found yours. Immediately you let yourself melt into the kiss. You felt your whole body buzzing, finally getting what it had wanted for so long. His lips felt unbelievably soft against yours, moving in a slow rhythm as his other hand came up from your thigh to cup your face as well. You wrapped your arms around his neck and deepened the kiss, letting it become messier and more desperate. 

“I like you” you pulled away just enough to whisper “so fucking much.” You felt him grin into the kiss as your lips met again. 

He tasted like strawberries, and you felt high as your lips kept crashing together with more and more need. Your whole body felt like it was set on fire and simultaneously dunked in an ice bath, every nerve vibrating with want.    

When Baekhyun pulled your bottom lip gently between his teeth you let out a soft moan, and he started to lose it. He broke the kiss, standing up and pulling with him, before backing you up against the wall, a hand on either side of your head. 

“Sweetheart, don’t push me” He breathed, and started peppering kisses along the side of your neck, from under your ear down to your collarbone, sucking and biting on the way. 

Trapped between him and the wall, you felt weak and breathless. Your brain was in overdrive and you gasped at his ministrations, hands burying themselves in his soft hair.  His hands had traveled down to your waist, holding you against him tightly.

“Baekhyun” You breathed out, rubbing your thighs together as he sucked on a particularly sensitive spot. 

“Fuck, y/n. Don’t say that.” He forced the words out through gritted teeth.

His body pressed you into the wall, and your arms wrapped around him pulling him into you even tighter. He was completely consuming your senses and your knees felt wobbly from the intensity of it all. He was already smothering your entire front, but you tried to pull him even closer regardless.

You felt something hard press into your hip as his mouth covered yours again, and this time you shamelessly moaned his name into his open mouth. 

Much to your disappointment, Baekhyun immediately detatched himself from you, backing up until his back hit the opposite wall of the office. You could see how turned on he was by the outline of his dick through his pants and the pained look in his face. 

“Fucking christ...” He said, leaning his head back against the wall and closing his eyes. You just watched from the other side of the room. He kept his eyes closed and you observed as his jaw clenched and unclenched before you heard him continue. “You have to go. If you don’t I’m gonna fuck you on my desk and I won’t be gentle.” 

Your throat went dry at his crude words, but you couldn’t deny your own arousal. You walked back towards him, reaching out to touch his chest which was now rising and falling rapidly, but he grabbed you before you could make contact. His grip on your wrist was so tight it was almost painful. His knuckles were white, and you could see a drop of sweat trickle down the side of his face. 

His eyes bore into your own with a stare that warned you not to try anything more. 

“I’m sorry y/n but you have to leave. Not tonight. Not like this.” With his free hand he grabbed your belongings off his desk, shoving them into your arms. 

Still speechless, he opened the door and pulled you outside before going back in and closing the door behind him. You stood and stared at his office door for a minute, recollecting yourself and processing what the hell had just happened. 

Eventually your shaky legs began making their way down the hallway, back towards your car. You were pretty sure a janitor saw you as you turned the corner just down the hall from Baekhyun’s office. You kept your head down, trying to hide your face best you could while hurrying past. 

Once you were sitting in your car, you slumped into the seat, mind still in a daze after what happened in Baekhyun’s office. You waited for your breathing and heartrate to slow down before you drove away. 

Baekhyun left shorty after you as well, unable to concentrate on anything but the sound of you moaning his name. He felt terrible for throwing you out of his office but he’d meant what he said. He didn’t want his first time to have you to be in his office, purely fueled by pent up lust. He wanted to give you more than that. 

More than anything, he just couldn’t believe he’d gotten what he’d wanted for the entire summer. It didn’t seem possible, but now it had happened. And you actually kissed him back. It felt too good to be true. He felt himself once again struggling to sleep, but this time because he was too excited. This time, he didn’t have to keep himself up wondering, he knew he had you. He just couldn’t wait to see what would happed now.

You on the other hand couldn’t stop worrying about that exact thing as you stared at the ceiling above your bed. What would happen now? The thoughts weren’t fearful anymore, there was just too many of them to shut your mind down enough to sleep. 

You’d finally allowed yourself to give into him, and there was no more turning back. 

Next Chapter

#baekhyun #exo #baekhyun fluff #baekhyun smut #baekhyun fanfic #exo fanfic #exo fluff #exo smut

[mediocre-writerr]

betty [quinn fabray]

quinn fabray x fem reader

summary: the last part of my quinn fabray mini series! this takes place in the pov of quinn and her side of the story! enjoy : )

*not my gif*

“Quinny?” my mom poked her head through the door, “You got to get ready for school.” she says softly. 

I groaned as I shoved my head into a pillow. I didn’t want to go to school today or well ever for that matter. 

And you’re probably thinking: Quinn what teenager actually wants to go to school? 

i did...once. When I didn’t fuck up the best thing that ever happened to me. Meeting her at her locker, holding her hand down the hall, singing songs to her in glee club. All of it. But that’s all faded away like a moment in time. 

“Not today.” I mumble. 

“Quinn, honey, I let you miss so much school these past couple months. I need you to go just this once.” she whispers before closing the door. 

I let out another groan as I pulled the covers off my body. Stumbling my way into the bathroom. As I look in the mirror the pit that was in my stomach continued growing. 

I hated how I looked. I hated how I felt. I fucked up. It was all on me.

And it all started at junior prom.

“Love, dance with me!” Y/N yelled over the loud music that was playing, trying to pull me out of my seat at the table I was sitting at. 

I smiled widely at her enthusiasm before raising my eyebrows at her. She knows I hate the crowds. Sure, I was popular and wanted the attention.

But there’s a difference between walking down the hall like a bad ass than being trapped in a crowd of thousands, feeling like you’re suffocating and sweating.

“This is my favorite song.” she pouted when I gave her the look. 

I pulled the hand that she had in her hand closer to me. Giving it a sweet kiss, “Next dance, I promise.”

She pouts a little before running back off to the dance floor. I sat there drinking the spiked punch, letting the alcohol burn all the way down my throat and into my stomach. Leaving a warm sensation behind. 

I watched Y/N’s every move. She wasn’t very far away from where I was planted. Jumping up and down, doing crazy dance moves, with Sam. 

I love Sam with every bone in my body, but I was always jealous of the blonde boy. He was a nice guy, funny, good looking and super close to Y/N. 

“Looks like your girlfriend is having more fun with Sam, than she is with you.” Santana says, leaning against the chair I was sitting on.

“I don’t like the crowds. She knows that. She’s just trying to enjoy her prom.” I mumble, trying to ignore her snide remarks. 

Santana hums in response before taking a sip of her own punch, “Sure, let’s keep telling yourself that. And I’ll be the one saying ‘I told you so’ when she leaves you for him.” 

That was it. That’s what started my insecurities. 

Was I good enough for Y/N? Or will she find her own non-complicated love with Sam or Finn? Was Santana right?

After procrastinating for God knows how long, I finally made it to school. 

“Quinn!” Mercedes yelled getting my attention away from locker. 

I tried forcing on my best smile, “Hey what’s up?” 

“You’re coming to Y/N’s party tonight right? Everyone’s gonna be there! I don’t want you to miss it.” Mercedes said.

I shook my head looking down at my shoes, “No. I wasn’t planning on going. I don’t think she would want me there anyway.” I mumble.

Mercedes looked at me sympathetically, “Well I want you to come. Dig yourself out of the depressing hole you’re in and come hang out with people who care about you. Think about it, okay?” 

I nod before she goes running off to talk to Kurt. I open my locker and stare at the cardigan hanging off of one of the hooks. My eyes dart around my locker to see the pictures of the two of us hanging on the walls. 

I miss her.

The bell rings and I weave my way through the somewhat crowded walls and into my anatomy class for homeroom. I take my seat next to Jacob Ben Israel and sigh softly. 

“Alright class take your seats!” Mr. Barnson yells as he walks in the door, taking his bag off.

I look at the empty stool next to me. Y/N wasn’t in here today. She must’ve stayed home. I wish I could’ve, especially after what happened yesterday. 

“Jacob, you’re going to be Ms. Fabray’s new lab partner.” he says and I watch as Jacob’s eyes lighten up.

The afro-hair kid coming to sit next to me, “Can I smell your hair?” he asks, disturbingly. 

I shutter in disgust and raise my hand, “Yes Ms. Fabray?” 

“What happened to Y/N?” I ask.

“Ah, Ms. Y/L/N switched homerooms this morning.” he says nonchalantly while looking back at his list for attendance. 

Oh. 

The day went on and on, dragging like a bad movie that wouldn’t end. Until finally it did. 

I walked to school today. I’ve been walking to school the past couple months. It was a nice break to just clear my head and think about everything. Sometimes it hurt to do, but it was much needed. 

I didn’t want to go straight home today. I didn’t want to go home and just lock myself in my room, curling up into a ball of nothingness. So I walked around more. 

“Quinn? Do you need a ride?” I hear a voice ask.

I turn towards the voice to see Mike and Tina in his car, “No thanks. I think I’m just gonna walk.” 

“Okay. Well we’ll see you tonight, right? We all miss hanging out with you.” he suggests.

“I don’t know.” I say looking anywhere, but them.

“You should.” Tina says before the light turns green and they drive off with a wave. 

I continued walking until I found myself at the mall need Breadstix. I hate the mall. 

I used to love going there with Santana and Brittany back during sophomore year of high school. When I was dating Finn and head Cheerio, but now it just reminds me of everything that went wrong. 

When my insecurity was at its greatest peak. 

“Hello beautiful!” I say as I answer Y/N’s phone call, walking through the mall. 

“Hi love! I miss you so much.” she whispers and I smile softly.

I hear rustling coming from her side of the phone, another girl’s voice, “I miss you more.” I say softly, “Who are you with?”

“Oh I’m with my friend Lizzie. She’s also a intern here and we’re just having dinner! She’s really cool!” Y/N said excitedly.

The rest of the conversation was about her internship and the amazing stuff she was learning and the new people she was meeting. How much she was having.

I should have been happy for her, but all I could think about what was, how much her life is better without me? What a fun life she could have without me? 

I left the mall that I was once walking in and nothing seemed good enough to buy. I was getting closer to my house as I was walking on the broken cobblestone. Just thinking about her.

How much I just want her to come back home and into my arms. How much I want her to let me know that I’m the only one she wants and that I am good enough for her.

Someone’s car came by slowing down next to me as they rolled their window down, pulling me out of my thoughts. Santana was sitting in the driver’s seat with her sunglasses on. Her usual high pony was down which revealed her curly brunette hair. 

She looked like a figment of my worst intentions. Her lips stained with a dark red lipstick and the way she was eyeing me. It just sent shivers down my spine. 

“Quinn, get in, let’s drive.” 

And those four words was all it took. Well four words and a human full of loneliness. 

A car honks shaking me from that terrible terrible memory. Leaving me with a mind and head full of thoughts. 

Should I go to the party tonight? Will she want me there? Will I regret not going? 

There’s two ways me going would play out.

1.) I would get there and she would open the door and slam it on my face. Then she would open it again just to tell me to go fuck myself. 

I shutter at the thought of the most likely scenario. The sun was setting turning the sky into a cotton candy looking sky. What a beautiful sky for a stressful decision. 

Santana laid next to me on the grassy field of my backyard. It was a cotton candy color as the orange hue blended with the dreamy blue. 

I spent the week driving around with Santana. We would go exploring the small town in Lima or just drive around singing to random songs. 

We laid there in silence just staring up at the sky. She took my hand in hers intertwining them together. And in that moment I didn’t care. I wanted to feel something, anything. 

Anything besides this pit of loneliness. 

She turned her head towards mine. And in a beat her lips were on mine. It was soft at first yet passionate. Then the next thing I knew, clothes were flying off, and hands were roaming. 

2.) Y/N opens the door and sees me standing there. I apologize for everything, she leads me to our spot in the backyard. And kiss me in front of everyone. 

Yeah like that would ever fucking happen. 

I didn’t know what I was expecting when Y/N came back from Pennsylvania. After the many nights spent with Santana, I dropped her. Or well ghosted her I should say.

I didn’t answer her calls or her texts. I knew what I did was wrong and I decided to just end it before things could get any worse. 

Was it fucked up? 

Yes, but I did what I had to try and salvage what I had left in our relationship.

I thought I could get away with it too. Until the guilt started eating me alive. The pit in my stomach wasn’t loneliness, it was guilt. 

And then Santana told Brittany. Brittany told Artie. Artie told Tina. Tina told Mike. Mike told Puck. Puck told Mercedes. Mercedes told Kurt. Kurt told Blaine. Blaine told Rachel. Rachel told Finn. Finn told Sam. Then finally, Rachel told Y/N since no one else had the heart to. 

Y/N slammed my locker shut causing me to flinch back, “Tell me she’s lying.” she whispers, her voice breaking. 

“Who’s lying love? What happened?” I say attempting to take her in my arms, but she took a step back.

“Tell me that you didn’t hook up with Santana while I was gone. And that it’s some weird vendetta against you.” she whispers staring at me. 

I couldn’t lie to her anymore. It was killing me. I didn’t want to lie anymore. I just needed to tell her. 

I just stared at her desperately trying to find an explanation. Desperately trying to apologize and explain everything to her, but no words came out.

“Y/N-”

“You did didn’t you?” Y/N asked barely in a whisper.

I nodded sadly and a sob escaped her lips. 

“Y/N please let me-” I try to say and she shakes her head.

“No. We’re done Quinn!” she yells in between sobs running off. 

I looked up and found myself in front of Y/N’s house. 

I wasn’t trying to go here. I guess my feet just carried me here. The party was in full swing and through her window I could see her just sitting there, nursing a cup. 

Her favorite song was playing and she wasn’t dancing. She was just sitting there, trying to smile, but was struggling too. 

It hurt me, knowing that I’m the reason for her pain. 

I hesitantly knocked on the door and the door flung open. Y/N was standing there and she was shocked, but her eyes softened. But it didn’t matter anymore because she covered it up with a harder shell. 

She came out and stepped onto the porch, closing the door behind her.

“Happy birthday.” I whisper.

She mumbles, “Thanks.” 

“Can we talk please?” I ask.

She was thinking about it. I could tell. Her eyes were furrowed and she was biting her lip. She looked in deep thought before nodding and leading me to the backyard garden.

There was a bench swing hanging from the trees. And we took a seat on there together. 

This is the spot. Our spot. 

We had our first kiss here. I asked her to be my girlfriend here. Everything happened right here. 

“Y/N I’m sorry. And before you say anything I know. I know sorry means nothing and it has no excuse for what I did. But I am so deeply sorry. I don’t know much and I don’t have much to say because I wasn’t expecting to come tonight But I do know that I miss you and you were the best thing that has ever happened to me.” I whisper letting all of the tears spill. 

She lets out a shaky sigh, “I know. I forgive you.” 

I smile softly and I try to lean in to kiss her, but she immediately pulls back. Leaving me embarrassed and heartbroken.

“Just because I forgive you doesn’t mean that I want to get back together. I know you know that what you did was wrong. And I trust you when you say that it wasn’t anything special. But it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. I love you Quinn Fabray, but I just can’t do this right now.” she whispers back.

She begins to wipe away the tears from my cheeks. I took in a deep breath before embracing the feeling of her touch. Y/N closes her eyes and rests her forehead on top of mine. 

I cup her cheeks into my hands. My thumb trying to memorize all of the crevasse, cheek bones, every little feature. 

“I will always love you and maybe we’ll be together one day. Just not today.” she whispers pulling away and kissing my cheek softly, “Goodbye Quinn.” 

#quinn fabray #quinn fabray imagine #quinn fabray imagines #quinn fabray x reader #quinn fabray x fem reader

[loki-hargreeves]

Bucky x Reader - She Will Be Loved

Warnings: terrible date (being ghosted), fluff, fighting (combat), being held at gunpoint, being trapped, hypothermia, vulgar language, mentions of death, hurt/comfort sort of, more fluff Word Count: 8,8K (I tried to keep it under 4K but I can’t control myself) Summary: You have feelings for Bucky that you have pushed aside for too long, in a fear that having feelings for your colleague would be a distraction for you as an Avenger. After a terrible date, Bucky comforts you. The two of you get cozy and you say things you soon regret. You talk things through a few days on an icy mission, when you get trapped together in a sticky situation.  Song prompt/Listen to: She Will Be Loved by Maroon 5 Author’s Note: This is for @nekoannie-chan​ ‘s writing challenge. I hope you’ll enjoy it! I’m so excited to write for Bucky again. It’s been too long. I’m sorry if it sucks, I procrastinated way too much while writing this. #bucketdeservesbetter 

THIRD POV

It had been well over twenty minutes since the artificial intelligence system had informed the people at the compound that Y/N had returned. Whenever the garage was used, it would let others know. Oftentimes, no one really thought much of it. The updates and messages from the system were something the Avengers and the other people working at the compound had grown used to. 

When Bucky realized that she wasn’t anywhere to be seen, he wondered if she could still be in the garage. Was she alright? 

He didn’t want to pry because he knew that her business was none of his business, but he knew that she had been out on a date and she had returned quite soon. 

Eventually, he decided to go and check on her, just to make sure she was alright. Whether or not he liked to show he cared, he did. Probably more than she’d ever know.

When Bucky entered the large garage, he heard the faint bass vibrations. Was she listening to music? 

There she was, sat in her car with a sadness washed across her face. She just sat there, leaning against the car seat as she surrounded herself with a minor tune. Clearly, things hadn’t gone well.

To make his presence known, Bucky tapped on the window.

She seemed to snap out of a daze. Quickly, she turned down the music and lowered the window, so they could hear each other speak.

“Everything alright?” Bucky wondered, already knowing the answer. 

“No,” Was all she could say. Earlier, she had felt like screaming her lungs out in frustration. Now she felt like one push was all it would take to make her cry. Why did everything always go South when it came to her life? Why did Bucky have to see her like this? Out of all the people on planet earth. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” He wondered and desperately tried to find a way to comfort her. Even if it was just as friends, he wanted to be there for her, like she had often been there for him. He was angry that whoever her date was had left her like this. If he had a chance to treat her right, he would never do this to her. He quickly wiped those thoughts away, knowing damn well that having feelings for her, his team member, a fellow Avenger, would only cause trouble. 

Y/N leaned over to the passenger seat door and opened it, “hop in.”

And so he did. Bucky walked around the car and then sat inside it, closing the door gently. It was just them now, where the other Avengers couldn’t eavesdrop on their conversation or walk-in at a bad time. Now that he sat in the car, he could hear the melody she had tried to turn off. It sounded familiar, but he couldn’t quite put his tongue on it. Bucky assumed it was a more recent melody. He had a lot of catching up to do. 

‘...I don’t mind spending every day, out on your corner in the pouring rain...’

“What happened?” He wondered and faced her properly. When he saw the glossy tears in the corners of her eyes, his heart tightened in his chest. It was terrible to see her like that.

“He ghosted me,” She cracked a smile but it wasn’t a happy one, “I waited at him for an hour and then he texted me, saying he couldn’t do it.”

Bucky barely knew of this man, but he already hated him. How could anyone ask her out and then not show up when she was already at the location? In Bucky’s mind, the man was merely a coward. She deserved better. 

“I’m sorry that happened,” He didn’t know what to say. Bucky used to be smooth with his words, but these days he found it hard. Luckily, she seemed to understand. 

“Well, it is what it is. At least I know not to contact him again,” She tried to see the positive side of things. That was an admirable trait. It was also why- in Bucky’s mind - she spent time with him. Despite all the terrible things he had done as the Winter Soldier, she stayed by his side. 

Y/N changed the song and turned the volume on a little bit higher, trying to fill the silence. By now, she felt slightly better because she wasn’t drowning in self-pity. But she was nervous because Bucky was next to her. 

Bucky, the man that made her heart do somersaults. The man she had dreamed of so many times but would never let anyone know of. It was almost like fate was tormenting her by putting such terrible dates in her path when she ended up speaking with Bucky at the end of the day anyway. 

She decided to add to what she said, “I’ll get over it.”

“It’s okay to upset, Y/N,” Bucky remembered when she had said the exact same words to him before. He often bottled things up, because he didn’t like to put his problems on other people’s shoulders. But she was always willing to listen to him.

“Yeah,” Was all she could say. She felt silly for being upset over a failed date. She felt as if she should’ve expected this. After all, she was an Avenger. Normalcy wasn’t destined for her. Despite how much she yearned for connection, or perhaps for someone to make her feel good for one night, it never seemed to go well. Perhaps some day she would learn to expect less from the world. 

Bucky tried to think of something that would cheer her up. “Have you eaten today?” 

“If you don’t count the breadstick I ate at the restaurant, then no.”

It was his chance to take her mind off of things. 

“I was thinking about ordering some takeout. It’s convenient when it comes all the way to the front door, and it might be my cheat day as well.”

The light lit in her beautiful eyes. “That sounds nice, Buck.”

She turned off the engine and the music stopped. Together they climbed out of the car and made their way to the elevator, that would take them inside. As the elevator doors closed, and she stopped right next to Bucky, she smiled. It was nice to know that he was there for her, but she felt bad for thinking of him as more than a friend. 

“What do you want?” Bucky wondered, already thinking about his own order. He had heard of a new pizza place that opened nearby and perhaps he could try their menu. 

“I don’t know. What are you thinking about?” 

A smug smile spread on his face, “New York-style pizza,” he turned to face her. “Nothing beats that.”

She should’ve known he would say that. “Why am I not surprised?” 

“What? You know I’m right,” He said confidently. 

All she could do was to roll her eyes playfully. He never failed to make her smile. 

“I can’t argue with you on that,” Y/N admitted. To her, pizza sounded great. Especially after the terrible date she had, if she could even call it that. 

                                           Less than an hour later, they were sat in one of the many common rooms in the compound. They didn’t have a mission for that day, or for the next as far as they were aware of, so they decided to enjoy the little time they had off. It wasn’t that late yet, so most of the other teammates were busy finishing their tasks, which meant that Bucky and Y/N had a few moments to spare just for each other. 

The pizza arrived and Y/N had already logged into Netflix to find a movie for them to enjoy. The team often found comfort in watching movies together, because for an hour or two they could focus on something else than their own issues and lives. A little bit of escapism never hurt anybody.

They decided to watch Focus, with Margot Robbie and Will Smith, a movie that seemed action-packed and fun. As long as it was entertaining to watch, they were happy. The main focus of the night was the pizza anyway. 

Bucky took a decently sized bite of the warm pizza, and some of the cheese threatened to slip off it and onto his lap.

Y/N, who was watching from the side, quickly grabbed the topping that was a second away from being one with his pants, and she ate it herself. “You have to watch your food.”

“How can I watch my food and the movie? I might have superhuman powers but I still have just two eyes,” Bucky explained the obvious. 

As they ate the pizza and focused on the film, time passed faster than they could comprehend. They sat next to each other, and Y/N was beginning to feel tired. It had been a long day and she had been on an emotional roller-coaster. Despite how fun the movie was, she felt like closing her eyes for just one moment. 

Bucky didn’t realize how tired she was until he felt her leaning against him ever so slightly. As he turned to look at her, he noticed that her eyes were closed. She looked adorable like that, but he wasn’t going to say it out loud. He didn’t dare to move a muscle, afraid it would make her wake up or move away from him. Knowing that she felt comfortable enough around him to fall asleep just like that melted his heart. 

It didn’t take long until her head slid closer and closer to him until she was resting against his shoulder ever so comfortably. At that point, Bucky swore he could feel his heart trying to beat through his chest. He wondered if he should wake her up, or if he should let her sleep. Would she be upset for missing out on the movie? 

For now, he didn’t know what to do. He grabbed the remote that was nearby, paused the movie and then took a deep breath. As much as he loved being like that with her, he knew it mustn’t have been nice to sleep with pants on, sitting upright on the couch. 

Before he could try to wake her up, the opened suddenly and no other than Sam walked in, Natasha and Steve closing in from behind. 

“There you two are! We’ve been looking all over for you,” Sam explained. He hadn’t realized that Y/N was asleep. 

She opened her eyes, startled by Sam’s voice. When she realized that she had made herself cozy against Bucky, she pulled away and felt her cheeks burning from embarrassment. How did she let herself doze off like that?

Natasha had a knowing look on her face, but she didn’t point anything out. They had definitely noticed how close they had been. 

“Why? Is everything alright?” Bucky ignored how startled Y/N looked, and he focused on what Sam had said. 

Sam sat down next to Bucky and glanced at the screen. “No. It was just weird to not hear from either of you. Thought you sneaked off without us,” he explained with a bright smile. 

Steve and Natasha sat down as well. They noticed the empty pizza boxes and drinks. 

“What are you watching?” Steve wondered. He had never seen Focus before since he had plenty of other films on his watching list. 

“Focus,” Y/N muttered, now wrapped up in a blanket. “I fell asleep, I have no idea what I missed.”

“It’s okay,” Bucky reassured her. “We can play it from the beginning if you all want to watch it too.”

Yes, it was fun to spend time with his friends elsewhere than on the field, it also stung a little bit. Spending one on one time with Y/N was rare these days. He hoped that she wouldn’t distance herself again after getting comfortable with him. She had a tendency to shut people out once they got too close to her. Bucky couldn’t blame her. He knew damn well how harsh one’s own mind could be sometimes. 

“Sounds good to me,” Natasha shrugged and waited for the others to voice their onion as well. 

Just like that, all five of them watched the movie right from the very beginning. During the entire time, Bucky and Y/N would steal glances from one another. They didn’t speak of it, but they both thought about what happened. 

It was funny when Steve would make supportive comments of the main characters, who were thieves and the others would tease him for it. Ever since his ‘language’ moment, people hadn’t cut him any slack. 

At some point in the movie, the main characters Nicky and Jess were in the car. They had just won a gamble, and they were talking about they had subliminally planted the number 55 everywhere. At first, the scene was harmless. They were having a great time, and it even lead to a kiss. 

Despite how much Y/N liked the movie, the thought of being kissed and held like that made her long for it even more than before. It had been too long since the last time someone made her feel such bliss. Her mind got the best of her, and she wondered when Bucky had last kissed someone. Despite how much she could tell about other people and read them like open books, he was a tough person to crack. She had no idea.

Suddenly the atmosphere changed in the film. Nicky made the driver stop the car, and he handed Jess her part of the money they won. They both seemed upset. When he implied that their ways had to part, as the job was done, Y/N felt bad for the woman. She knew damn well how hard it was to love someone when they were both on the same job. Feelings just complicated things. 

The man left the car and ordered the driver to take her to the airport. Everyone in the room watched quietly as he left, and she was left alone in the car with tears in her eyes.

It reminded Y/N of where she had been a moment ago; swimming in a pool of her own misery while jamming to She Will Be Loved, by Maroon 5 in her own car. Then Bucky had shown up. 

“That’s tough,” Sam was the first one to make a comment. 

Bucky had also thought of Y/N when he saw that scene. He wondered if that’s what she had felt when she had been left alone at the restaurant, waiting for someone who never showed up. Once again, he felt angry as he thought about the man who had let her down. He couldn’t wrap it around his head that someone was lucky enough to spend time with her and they would leave her hanging like that. It was wrong. 

“Why would he leave her? What a coward!” Natasha was irritated. She knew it was merely a moment that would ultimately deepen the plot, but it still agitated her. 

“He might’ve known that catching feelings for someone you work with isn’t easy,” Y/N let the words slip out of her mouth before she could stop herself. If she had watched it with anyone else, it would’ve been okay. But these were Avengers. Natasha was an excellent agent and it didn’t take a genius to pick up the trace of sadness in her voice. No one wanted to mention it, but everyone seemed to notice it. 

Why do I have to open my mouth? Y/N thought to herself and wished she would have disappeared into the couch. 

As if it couldn’t get any worse, Steve asked something rather harmless. “How did you date go?” He tried to steer the conversation elsewhere.

Bucky shot his friend a glance that told him to be quiet about it. But it was too late. 

“It didn’t even begin,” Y/N answered vaguely. She didn’t really want to talk about it. 

For the rest of the movie, she felt tense. Although she was sure everyone had moved on from that topic, she couldn’t. The moment the movie ended, she excused herself and rushed to the safety of her own room. 

The door closed behind her and she let out a deep breath. The day had been humiliating and all she wanted was to take a shower and fall asleep. 

                              A few days later, they had a mission. They left in a hurry, and they were filled in with the details as they were all geared up and in the quinjet. They were on their way to Alaska, where it would be cold since it was winter. In the remote wilderness, the satellites had picked up signals that weren’t supposed to be there. The code that they received from that was worrying.Tony even suspected that it could lead them to an enemy they had been tracking desperately for weeks now. 

 Y/N and Bucky were supposed to go in from the West side of the suspected enemy location, as Sam, Steve and Natasha would go in from the other side. They had the others ready for backup if it was needed, but so far it seemed like something they could handle just fine. They were unsure whether or not they had civilians locked up there, so they had to be careful. They were supposed to meet in the middle and take care of any enemies that would get in the way. 

Being teamed up with Bucky was usually fun, but right now Y/N dreaded it. Although they worked well together, she had avoided him since the movie night, in fear that she had made a fool of herself. Not only did she fall asleep against his shoulder, she also had to open her big mouth and make things awkward. 

“See you soon,” Natasha waved to the duo as their paths separated. Y/N and Bucky landed in the snow that was hard and icy because of the weather, the contrary of the soft snow that had coated New York. They hadn’t spoken much on the ride yet, but it was impossible to avoid now. 

From a distance, they could see the base. It was half disguised by the snow on the roof, but from ground level it was obvious. It’s like they didn’t even try to hide as they had their flags on the poles, letting anyone nearby see them. Admittedly, they were in the middle of nowhere and no random people happened to pass by any time soon. 

One thing was sure, this was definitely their base. These people were dangerous, armed and evil. 

There were a dozen armed guards on the outside, who hadn’t spotted the Avengers that had slowly crept closer and closer. Their weapons said it all. Whatever or whoever they were hiding was valuable. 

“It’s cold,” Bucky tried to ease the tension between them by talking about the weather. He was worried that he had said or done something that made her uncomfortable. If so, he just wanted to make things alright again. 

“We better make our way inside fast. I’m sure it’s warmer there,” She tried to sound casual - as if they weren’t in a situation that could potentially be life threatening. That was their life, their normal. She realized that her dates could never understand this. 

But Bucky could.

As they crawled closer to the base from behind the trees, hidden by the safety of the night, they noticed how small the windows were. They had to go in through a door, or somehow squeeze through the small, certainly bulletproof windows. 

“Hey,” Bucky wanted to face her. He was usually great at focusing on his missions, but this was his chance. It was just the two of them now.

Nervously, Y/N faced his blue eyes. It was hard not to get lost in them. Even in the dark, they were so bright. 

“Are you okay?” He asked her and felt his own heart beating a little bit faster. The way she looked at him was something he would never get used to. 

“I’m fine. We’re here, on a mission, where we belong,” She decided to stay focused. If she let herself  get distracted now, it would end up in chaos. 

Bucky dropped it. He knew that she would open up to him eventually if it was important. 

They were close enough to take out the first few guards. They would have to be silent, so they wouldn’t alert anyone. 

“You go in from the right, I’ll go left,” Bucky gave her the order with a soft voice. It was the natural next move from their point of view. 

Y/N simply nodded and got ready. She had to take down two guards. One was closer to them and the other one had just walked behind the corner, to the other side of the huge building. It was a perfect opportunity to strike. 

She got up from the icy ground ever so silently. Before the guard could notice her, she leapt at him without any hesitation. The startled man tried to yell, but she wrapped her strong arms around his throat and he knew damn well that one wrong move could end his life. He shut his mouth, afraid that if he spoke, she would kill him.

“Do you have a key card?” Y/N asked him and steadied her feet on the ground. She expected him to try and fight her, but she was prepared for an attack

Slowly, but surely the man grabbed something from his pocket. At least this one was cooperative, but it didn’t make up for the terrible things he stood for. She watched as he pulled out a few keys and cards, dropping them all on the ground. Satisfaction flowed through her veins. It was always nice to have something useful on missions like these. 

To avoid wasting time, she squeezed his windpipe hard and felt his body tighten as he panicked. Quickly, she put him out of his misery and dropped him on the ground. Y/N collected the keys and put them in her pocket, and then she made her way to the direction of the other guard. He hadn’t heard her, which was a positive. 

His back was faced toward her, and he couldn’t see or hear her coming as she sneaked closer to him. Once Y/N was close enough, she grabbed him from behind, and choked the air out of his lungs. 

This one didn’t comply as well as the first. He tried to squirm away from her touch, but she had a good grip. Suddenly, he managed to switch things so that they both fell on the ground. 

“Oh no you don’t!” Y/N groaned, annoyed that she let it happen. Then she rolled over above him and punched his face, knocking him out instantly. Once he was unconscious, she used his own handcuffs to cuff him against a flag pole. Just like that, she was done. She wiped the snow off her hands as she stood up.

She noticed Bucky had been watching her. Why did he smile at her? He had certainly been quick. 

“I got the keys,” She let him know and patted the pocket gently, so he could hear them. Taking down the two guards had made adrenaline rush through her body. The mission, despite its dangers, excited her. 

“Great. Let’s go, shall we?”

They made their way inside the base without being noticed. As they walked further inside through the dim corridors, Y/N wondered how the others were doing. She thought it was strange how little resistance they met. Surely, they would’ve been noticed by now. 

Bucky was thinking the same exact thing, which was why he was so cautious. He had been on missions long enough to know what when things seemed too good to be true, it usually was that way. He hated letting Y/N walk in first, because she was at greater risk of being injured. But he wasn’t going to doubt her abilities now. He knew damn well she was capable of handling things herself. When he saw her taking down those guards, he was still just as impressed as he was when he first saw her in action. 

“That’s weird,” Y/N whispered when she saw a door that was wide open. It looked like it led to a cold room. She noticed that deep inside the room, there were several metallic doors that were shut. They all had small windows on the top, but they were frozen so it was impossible to see to the other side. Were they some sort of chambers? 

By glancing at Bucky once, she let him know where she was going. He just nodded and let her walk inside. As she did that, he stayed on the outside to keep watch. Something told him that they weren’t as safe as it seemed. Call it a bad gut feeling.

Y/N noticed how cold it was the moment she stepped inside the room. She was happy she wore her winter gear, but the cold still crept through and slid underneath her shirt, sending icy shivers down her spine. Her breath was foggy, and the cold air hurt her nostrils. She looked around the room and noticed a surveillance camera in the corner, but the lights weren’t on. Nevertheless, she avoided it. Better be safe than sorry. 

That’s when everything changed.

One of the closed doors opened and a man walked out with a gun in his hand, pointing it directly at Y/N. “Hands up!” He growled angrily, alerting Bucky who had been facing down the corridor. Without any hesitation, he was ready to bolt in there and aid her. 

Being held at gunpoint wasn’t new for Y/N but she was careful nevertheless. It was a good opportunity for her to take in all the details she could from the gunman. He wore a white lab coat, heavy boots that looked like combat boots. Was he a scientist? Ex-military, perhaps? He was older than her, perhaps nearing his 60’s, judging by the grey in his beard and hair. His face was incredibly familiar, but she wasn’t quite sure where she had seen him before.

Knowing that Bucky was nearby made her relax as she raised her arms. “You don’t have to shoot me,” Y/N tried negotiating with him.

Nevertheless, the angry old man walked closer to her. The tip of the gun was shaking. Was he afraid or just cold? 

“Are you alone?” The man wanted to know. 

“Yes,” Y/N wasn’t going to blow the cover of the others. 

As if on cue, Bucky stormed inside the room. The man barely had time to react to it as suddenly Bucky grabbed his wrist and forced the man to drop the gun. As Bucky took care of him, Y/N kicked the gun away so no one could reach it and use it. 

Within seconds, Bucky had the guy pinned down on the cold floor, ready to break his windpipe for daring to point a gun at the person he cared so much about. 

As Y/N stood by, she heard another pair of footsteps coming from outside the cold room. When she turned to look, grabbing her own gun so she could defend herself and Bucky, she saw a masked person. They were tall, with a slim build. The mask was white as snow and it had no details. 

“Stop!” She demanded and pointed the weapon at them, but it was too late. The person slammed the metal door shut and she heard a click, indicating that it was locked. 

Her heart bolted to her throat as she ran to the door and tried to open it, realizing to her own horror that it didn’t even have a handle from the inside. 

The man Bucky had pinned down on the ground began to laugh, “We’re never getting out of here alive!” What the hell was that supposed to mean?!

Stay calm, Y/N told herself over and over again in her head. The others knew their location. They were going to be just fine. 

“The temperature will keep dropping until we’re all icicles,” He continued to taunt them with the horror of their situation. Why didn’t it scare him? Had he already accepted his fate?

“Do you have anything useful to say?” Bucky sounded so intimidating now, speaking with no mercy or warmth in his voice. If it wasn’t for the terrible situation, Y/N would have loved listening to his voice like that. It was undeniably quite sexy of him.

Clearly, the man wasn’t going to cooperate. 

And Bucky wasn’t going to listen to his nonsense. Instead, he did what he had done to the other guards and left the man’s body on the ground. He might’ve been unconscious, but if what he said was true, he too would die in this place.

Being locked up in a giant freezer didn’t bring back any warm memories to him. He walked to the other end of the room and banged on the metal wall. Nothing happened, so he hit it again, much harder this time. He tried to find a weak spot so he could get out of there with Y/N. Bucky tried the corners of the room, and eventually he ended up by the door.

Y/N tried to push the door open, but it was useless. She kicked it, and searched for buttons - anything - on the inside that could help them escape the huge freezer. There was absolutely nothing she saw that would’ve helped them. The room was like a metal box, which meant their devices didn’t work. There was no way they could contact anyone outside the room, and no one could contact them. The bangs on the metal only echoed loudly, but certainly didn’t help them escape. That freezer was built to contain even the strongest of people. It was almost eerie how much it resembled something they would find at a HYDRA base. Could they be connected? 

One thing was for sure,

They were trapped. 

“Well this sucks,” Y/N kicked the door out in frustration. Shooting at it would’ve been reckless, since the material would only make the bullets ricochet and endanger them furthermore. A rotten feeling bubbled in her stomach. If she had been more careful, they wouldn’t have been stuck in that sticky situation. Who was that masked person anyway? Why would they lock them in there, when one of their own was there as well? It didn’t make much sense. Perhaps these people were simply ruthless enough to risk their own in order to win in every situation. The thought of it made Y/N uncomfortable because it meant their enemies were willing to do terrible and unimaginable things. 

As she turned around to face Bucky, her heart dropped. He looked troubled, almost afraid. He never looked like that on missions. She realized that the cold room must’ve reminded him of his days at HYDRA. 

“Hey,” She rushed over to him. 

He couldn’t face her. Bucky felt his anxiety rising and he didn’t want her to see him like that, so afraid. It made him feel pathetic. Would she judge him? He quickly knew that she would never judge him, but he didn’t feel much better anyway. 

“It’s okay, the others know we’re here. I’m sure they’ll come through that door soon enough,” She tried to comfort him. 

Bucky knew that she was right. He tried to focus on facts, that they weren’t alone and that it was possibly to rely on the others for help. He had relied on himself for so long that it was hard to trust that other people could help him. Right now, they didn’t really have a choice. 

Her hand was right against his back, which was comforting. Bucky relaxed his shoulders and faced her with a gentle smile. Although his lips barely curved up, she saw it. Every smile from him was like a gift. 

They had to stay warm. It wouldn’t be much of a problem for him, as it would for her. If what the man said was true, it would get colder the longer they were there and Y/N was in real danger of getting hypothermia. 

When he looked at her, he noticed that she was already shivering. It broke his heart to see her like that. 

“You’re right,” He cleared his throat. The others would find them. They had to be patient. 

For now, they could try to find clues on the man who was unconscious on the ground. As far as they were aware, the metal doors were locked. Besides, they didn’t lead anywhere. It looked like the man had used one of the small rooms as a hiding place when he had heard them in the corridor earlier. What those tiny rooms were originally built for, Bucky wasn’t sure he even wanted to know. It looked like a row of tiny prison cells.

Bucky knelt down beside the body and began searching through his pockets. All of them were empty. Soon enough, he let out a disappointed sigh. There was nothing useful to be found, but it was worth checking out. 

As he faced Y/N the next time, he noticed that she had wrapped her arms around her own body. He too noticed it was getting colder, but the serum protected him from it, for now. He knew how to make her warm, but he wasn’t sure if she would like it. But if it meant it would help, he had to suggest it.

“You know, if we stay close to each other, we’ll stay warmer for much longer,” Bucky let her know.

Despite how freezing cold it was, Y/N felt how her cheeks heating up. She knew he was right. They could benefit from each other’s body warmth. 

“Bring it in,” She tried to act cool about it as she opened her arms widely. Bucky couldn’t hold back a smile as he wrapped her in a hug. It felt nice, despite it all. Awkwardly, they sat down on the ground and huddled closer to one another. Now all they could do was wait.

“You’re warm,” Y/N noticed. Perhaps it was because she was as chill as a snowball, she still found Bucky warm. She wondered if the serum made him that way, or if another person was truly radiating so much heat in the cold. 

Bucky was glad she couldn’t see his flustered face at that moment. Her head leaned against his shoulder and she was staring at the door, waiting for it to open up any moment now. He held her tightly and hated how good it felt. If only the circumstances were different. 

“It’s the serum,” He eventually replied. 

Once again, it was just the two of them - the unconscious scientist was left out of the count. They couldn’t avoid each other now. They had all the time until the door would open, to discuss things. Anything, as long as it would keep Y/N awake. The cold had a tendency to make people drowsy.

“Sam will never shut up about it if he sees us like this,” She realized, saying it with a hint of playfulness in her voice. 

Bucky silently agreed with her. He also knew that Sam knew of Bucky’s feelings. Sam was one of the very few people who Bucky had confided in. Sure, it had been a while since he told Sam that he cared for Y/N as more than just a friend, but Sam definitely remembered that. 

Feeling brave, Bucky decided to test the waters. “Why have you avoided us since the movie night?” He was fully prepared for her to change the topic immediately, and he wasn’t going to push her buttons if she chose to do so. 

Didn’t he really know?

Y/N felt bad for what she had done. She truly thought she had made things awkward, but perhaps she had been over-thinking it. 

“I thought I made things weird,” She admitted.

Weird? Bucky furrowed his eyebrows as he felt confused. He thought about it for a moment and remembered how she fell asleep against his shoulder. Was that it?

“What do you mean?” 

Y/N felt nervous now. Although it was difficult to talk about it, her feelings and all that, she decided to go for it. There was a slim chance the others wouldn’t find them until it was too late. The temperature in the room was plummeting, after all, and they couldn’t break out of there. 

She wanted to talk about things. 

“When I said that thing about catching feelings, and how it could make things hard,” She hoped she wouldn’t have to repeat herself, that he could recall the moment. 

It felt like a light bulb lit above his head. 

What was she implying? After pushing his feelings for her aside for so long, he was almost scared to even consider she could feel the same way about him. He had watched her go on dates several times and come back, disappointed. Every time, he was there to help her. Bucky wondered why she would put herself through that, but if she cared for someone, it made sense that she’d distract herself.

No

Bucky couldn’t let his mind go that far. There was no chance she cared about him the way he cared about her. Surely, she had been upset because of the date who never showed up. 

“Why do you see these people?” Bucky was genuinely curious. It felt wrong to question her love life. Nevertheless, he couldn’t stop thinking about what he’d do if he was in their shoes. He would treat her like the wonderful person she was. Bucky would stop at nothing to make her feel good about herself, to feel beautiful - inside out. In his eyes, she deserved to be loved. Even if it meant she’d find someone else. 

“I don’t know,” That was a lie. They both knew that.

“You don’t know?” 

“It’s complicated,” She corrected herself. 

How long had they been there? It already felt much colder and her shivering was beginning to get uncontrollable. Bucky felt bad for her as he held her closer, feeling every tremble of her body against his. What he feared more than that was when she’d stop shaking. 

Y/N’s fingertips felt like they were freezing over. It made her sick to her stomach when she couldn’t even bend them properly anymore. 

Bucky noticed that and he was quick to grab her hands into his, which was much warmer. His flesh hand was so warm against hers. Since his metal arm was quite obviously cold, he had her hands pressed against his stomach and he covered them with his hand. They were safely sealed away from the cold air. 

It felt amazing when his warmth spread across her skin. 

Either the cold was getting to her head, or she was otherwise losing her shame and willpower. Her heart was screaming at her to tell Bucky about her feelings. Other times she would silence that voice as well as she possibly could, but now she listened. Would it be so dumb? Was she imagining things or did it seem like he wanted the conversation to go there? Perhaps she was finding too much comfort in his embrace. It was bizarre how quickly she succumbed to the cold. One moment she was fine, and now she was trembling away in Bucky’s arms. Without a clock or anything else that made the passage of time clear, it was difficult to tell how long they had already been there. 

Five minutes? 

Ten?

“Bucky?” She made up her mind. She would deal with the consequences if they made it out of there alive. Surely, he would be fine but she wasn’t so sure about herself. Bucky was the one with the serum. 

“Yeah?” 

“Do you really want to know why?” She kept the sentence short. It was so cold that it was hard to move her mouth as she spoke. Inhaling the cold air, oddly enough, felt like swallowing fire. 

Bucky’s heart skipped a beat. He hadn’t expected the conversation to go like this. 

“You can tell me if you feel comfortable with it,” He hoped he hadn’t pushed her. 

“I am,” Y/N nodded. Her heart was racing by now. It couldn’t believe that its tiny voice was being heard. “When I said t-that catching feelings for someone you work with is...isn’t easy, I was talking about how I certainly don’t know how to deal with it.”

Bucky was shocked. Was he hearing right? He didn’t know what to say.

She decided to continue, “I’ve tried to ignore this for so long, because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship,” As she spoke, her feelings got the best of her. After bottling up her feelings for so long, letting them pour out was overwhelming. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes. She blinked, and one of them rolled down her cheek. It froze within seconds against her skin. 

“Hey,” Bucky noticed it as he looked down. They faced each other and all Y/N wanted to do was to get lost in those eyes. Why did they have to get trapped in this room? Why didn’t she do a better job at keeping watch? She blamed herself for being in this situation. The thought of anything happening to Bucky, and knowing he was locked there which certainly put his mind to a terrible place, made her feel so guilty. 

“I’m sorry,” Y/N said softly. She didn’t want to cry, but it was hard not to. Keep yourself together!

Bucky couldn’t let go of her hands, but he wanted to wipe her tears away. He wanted to hold her differently, to cup her face, but he didn’t want her to get colder. He just couldn’t believe his own ears. For all that time, they had both been hiding the fact that they cared about each other so much. 

“We can talk about this later if you want to,” Bucky noticed that she was struggling. 

She shook her head no, “If I freeze to death, you deserve to know that I really like you. You’re wonderful, Bucky.”

She said those words with such sincerity that it melted Bucky’s doubts. Although her words were slurred, he found the truth in it. He felt like the luckiest person in the world, knowing that his feelings weren’t one-sided. The joy was short lived as he focused on the other half of her sentence. The sharp pain was quite the opposite of the moment of happiness. It was bittersweet. 

“You won’t die here, Y/N,” he was quick to reassure her, although by now, he felt freezing cold as well. He wanted to tell her about his feelings as well, but he wasn’t sure how, when her eyes were closing slowly but surely. This drowsy stage was only going to get worse. 

“Stay awake for me, okay?” Bucky grew worried at the sight of her. Earlier, she had been shaking violently in his arms and now she began to relax. He knew she was beginning to feel warm, which was a dangerous sign of hypothermia. “Y/N, please,” He tried to make her focus on his voice. 

 It was so cold, yet she felt a sense of warmth coming from deep within her body. It came suddenly and it was almost too hot. A part of her wanted to open her jacket, but she knew better than that. Although she felt warm, she knew it wasn’t true. Her temperature was dropping at a dangerous pace. Bucky’s body felt so soft, and she wanted to stay awake but it was so tempting to fall asleep. It was hard to think at this point. How much time had passed?

Ten minutes? Twenty? She had no idea. It was all becoming one big mess. 

Bucky was terrified of how calm she was. He had seen enough in one lifetime to recognize these symptoms. Hell, he had felt like her so many times before. He tried to stay as calm as he possibly could in this situation as he held her. He rubbed her hands so she could focus on the pattern and possibly stay distracted enough to stay awake. Bucky knew the ground was frozen cold, so he pulled her on his lap, making sure she was as warm as she possibly could be in that moment. 

“You’ll be alright,” he reassured both her and himself. Gently, Bucky placed a kiss on top of her head. He wasn’t going to let anything happen to her now. Not now, right after she had found the courage to express her feelings. Bucky was going to appreciate that. Once they were warm and safe, he was going to show her a good time. They would be happy. Maybe it wasn’t the smartest idea to catch feelings for each other, considering they worked together, but they could make it work. They understood each other better than any strangers ever would. It would all be alright. 

                      “Stay with me, doll,” Bucky’s voice was louder this time. It echoed in the otherwise almost empty room. “We’ll make it out of here, just you wait.”

She didn’t reply, and it made Bucky’s thoughts race. He had to keep her focused, “How about we go out after this? No missions, no cold, just us. It’ll be fun, right?” He realized he sounded desperate, but he didn’t care. He was going to say anything to keep her there. 

Although she heard his voice, she couldn’t bring herself to reply. It felt like her body was frozen still like that and moving would make her cold again. She just nodded her head ever so slightly as an answer, since she didn’t know what to say. Indeed, the thought of going out with him sounded fun. It was all she thought of as her mind began to drift away to a much warmer place. 

He would’ve yelled at the others to alert them of their position, but he knew better than that. There were guards out there. Yelling and making their positions clear would blow their cover. Bucky had to act like he didn’t know they were out there, although it pained him to do so. 

They would open that door any minute now…

“Come on now…” Bucky groaned as he grew restless, worry brewing in his gut like poison. He knew Y/N was breathing, which was a good sign but it wasn’t so comforting when the air around them grew colder and colder by the second. It reminded him of his past. He had been frozen like a piece of meat so many times, just so he could be thawed later and used to do terrible things.

The thought of her freezing to death crossed his mind. Bucky wasn’t stupid or oblivious. He believed the others would find them, but it would have to happen sooner than later. She might’ve been an Avenger, but the cold was merciless to anyone. 

Where on earth were the others? Were they okay? Or were they trapped in a similar frozen over hell too? 

                       Despite how heavy her eyelids felt, Y/N felt the strong need to open her eyes. She was exhausted, and a yawn was drawn from her mouth. As she opened her eyes, she noticed that she was on the quinjet. Her body was wrapped in an emergency foil blanket and she felt warm, yet she was shivering. As she looked around, she saw Bucky, who looked sick of worry. 

It all came back to her immediately. The cold room, how cold she had felt deep down to her bones, and the things she had told him. What happened then?

“What’s going on?” She made it clear that she was awake. Although she was embarrassed now that she knew Bucky knew of her feelings, she couldn’t stay quiet forever. 

Natasha sat by her other side, “You gave us a scare, that’s what’s going on,” She admitted. “We didn’t catch the bad guy, but we have their next location and another team is already on its way. We, on the other hand, are going home to keep you warm.” Natasha continued explaining softly, clearly feeling relieved when her friend woke up. Seeing her like that, frozen over and unconscious, was terrifying. 

“We’re glad you’re okay,” Steve said from the cockpit. No scolding from him? Must’ve been a miracle. 

Y/N felt guilty for making them worry. “I shouldn’t have let the door get closed in the first place,” She sighed deeply. Had the others seen the masked enemy? 

“That’s not on you,” Bucky was quick to argue with her guilty worries. He couldn’t let her dwell on it. 

As they faced each other, it felt like no one else was there. Did he remember what she had said? That was a silly thought, of course he did. 

Bucky was going to mention it to her once they were at the compound. Not now, when they were surrounded by the others. For now, he just put his hand on her shoulder and tried to comfort her. She was safe, and it felt like a ton of bricks were lifted off his shoulders. 

“Next time, I’ll keep my foot between the door so that won’t happen again,” She was sure of that. Although the odds of stepping into a trap like that again were slim, she was going to be prepared. 

“That might hurt your foot. Did you see that door? It was pure metal, ouch,” Sam imagined getting his foot stuck between a heavy door like that. 

It was exactly the type of thing he would say, and it didn’t fail to make her laugh. “Always so logical, Sam.”

“Someone has to be,” he teased her and his words came from a place of love. “We’re all just glad we found you when we did.” 

Bucky was glad too. When they had opened that door, he felt a sense of relief like never before. 

                                         They arrived at the compound safely, and everyone was worn out. Bucky had offered to help Y/N and she gladly accepted, for once. The rest seemed to catch the hint that they wanted privacy, so they didn’t stick around for too long. 

As they reached Y/N’s quarters, she immediately sat down on her bed. She was so tired and all she wanted was to sleep, but she knew she couldn’t. Not yet. Her body was still longing for warmth and her mind needed rest, which she would find by talking to Bucky. 

He was running her a bath so she could warm up. As he waited for the tub to fill up, they could talk. 

“How are you feeling?” He wondered, taking in the sight of her wrapped up in her blanket. 

“I’m okay,” She reassured him softly. Perhaps her limbs ached a little bit, but it was nothing she couldn’t handle. 

He kept an eye on the bathtub to make sure it wouldn’t overflow. Then he faced her again. His heart was racing. How could he find the right words to mention what she had told him? 

“Do you want to talk about what I said?” Y/N was the first one to speak of it, to his relief. Was it so obvious that he was thinking of it? 

“Only if you feel like it”

She held onto the blanket tightly and stood up, walking closer to him. She had to go to the bathroom soon anyway to enjoy the lovely bath, but now she stopped so she was right in front of Bucky. His eyes never left her, and he looked curious. 

“I meant it,” Y/N confirmed it and took a deep breath. Being so open about her feelings was bizarre, almost frightening. But she felt confident because Bucky wanted to bring it up. Surely, that was a good sign, right? She searched his eyes for something that would ease her wild heart, or put an end to her worrisome thoughts. When she saw the hope and joy in his eyes, she wanted to melt on the spot. 

“Good,” Bucky couldn’t possibly hold back his smile anymore. Not only was he happy that she survived the ice box, he was ecstatic to hear that there was truth behind her drowsy words. 

“Oh?” She wondered if he’d say more than that. 

Bucky nervously put his hands on her cheeks, cupping her face gently as he looked deep into her eyes. “I was hoping you’d let me take you out someday. I think I promised you that earlier. Wasn’t sure if you heard me,” He felt oddly positive about it as he asked her out. Perhaps it was because he was almost sure that she would be delighted about it. There was no reason to worry or fear this anymore, and it felt great. 

Y/N couldn’t believe how lucky she was. Right now, she couldn't have cared less about the practicality of having such strong, romantic feelings for someone she worked with. This was Bucky, and he owned her heart. She nearly died earlier that day and all she could think about was him. Life was too short to ignore those feelings for much longer. 

“I’d love that,” She finally answered him. The look of pure joy on his face that followed was so wholesome. She wanted to kiss him. 

Before they could initiate anything, the sound of water splashing against the floor caught their attention. The tub was overflowing. 

“Fuck,” Bucky groaned and let go of her, rushing inside the bathroom to turn the water flow off. Y/N couldn’t help it when she let out of a laugh, one that was utterly precious to him. “That didn’t go as planned,” He sighed deeply. When he turned around, she was by his side and there was a look in her eyes he had never seen before. It was dark, mysterious and longing. 

Silently, she wrapped her arms over his shoulders and pulled him closer until their noses brushed against one another. It was long overdue, but it was finally happening.

Bucky closed his eyes and held her by the back of her head. Then he closed the gap between them and kissed her. Once their lips met, they were okay. It felt like a spark that ignited a great fire. Although her lips were still cold, Bucky knew they would be warm soon enough.

They parted the kiss, only for a moment, to look at each other. They were both in awe, and surely the kiss had wiped their thoughts clean. Nothing else mattered but that moment.

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” Y/N had to let him know. 

Bucky smiled, “so have I,” he murmured against her lips before sealing them into another one. And another one. And another… 

Author’s Note: I hope that you, the person reading this that made it this far, enjoyed it! You must know that fluff isn’t my forte, so I apologize if it’s cheesy at the end. Nevertheless, I would love to hear your feedback if you have any to share 💚 I’m definitely writing more Bucky stuff in the future. If you like angst, stick around. 

#Annie’s500KittiesWritingChallenge #Annie’s1stWritingChallenge #Bucky Barnes #Bucky x You #Bucky x Reader #Bucky fanfiction #Bucky Barnes fanfiction #James Buchanan Barnes #Bucky fluff #Bucky angst #writing challenge

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Kiss of Death

Warnings: nonconsent (fingering and intercourse)

This is dark!(mob)Loki and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You (literally) run into a powerful man but find it hard to shake him.

Note: So we’re taking a tiny break from Painted Windows. The last chapter was intense and even my heart needs some respite. So I let myself wonder down the backstreets and wrote some mob!Loki with a good chance of a sequel.

Thank you. Love you guys!

Please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3

After a long day and a longer week, you were looking forward to the small get together. Several nights in a row you came home late and gulped down a microwave dinner before passing out on the couch. An unglamorous life, to say the least.

For Nisha’s birthday, you agreed to meet up at a nice restaurant downtown for drinks and hopefully dinner. Tiana and Ana were already there with Nisha as you rushed in. You weren’t used to being the last to arrive. Usually you were the first there and waiting for at least twenty minutes.

You gave a frantic greeting to the small group and dropped your purse in your empty chair.

“I’m so sorry. Nisha, happy birthday but I’m gonna burst,” You said as you caught your breath. 

They laughed at your panic and waved you towards the restrooms. You snaked around tables and to the narrow hall that led to the facilities. You were quick to sweep inside and into a stall. Your pants were barely past your thighs before you sat; the stream was painful and squeezed your bladder terribly. You sighed and took a moment to gather yourself as soft classical music plucked from the speakers.

Finished, you washed your hands and stared at yourself in the mirror. Your jacket hung open over your flowery blouse and pressed slacks. You wore a pair of low wedges that gave you a few inches. You were exhausted and you looked it. A night of drinking would surely wake you up… or at least lull you into the sleep you’d been lacking.

You smoothed out your shirt and slipped out of the jacket. You slung it over your arm and tried to fix your hair as best as you could. Your latest client was demanding and worse, a perfectionist. Usually, your suggestions were accepted without a single glance but Stacey Forrest was very particular. She needed to impress her new circle of peers; many twenty years her senior. Just thinking of her stabbed your temples with frustration.

You shook off the moment of chagrin and took a breath. Work was done. You had Saturday to sleep off the hangover you planned on feeding tonight. Sunday was far away at the present. 

You pushed open the door and strolled back to the dining room. You spotted the table of women awaiting you, giggling as they sipped from their respective glasses, and set off to join them. In your tunnel vision, you didn’t notice the party to your right. The man whom you walked directly into and barely kept you from tripping over his leather shoes. You were so embarrassed, you hardly realized how the entire room had gone silent.

You backed up and slipped free of the man’s grasp. You looked up at him and caught your coat before it could fall to the floor. 

“Oh, sorry,” You said as your cheeks burned. “I wasn’t…” You glanced around. “Paying attention…”

“It’s quite alright,” The lilt in his voice surprised you as much as the glimmer in his green eyes. “These things happen.”

“Yeah, I… Sorry again.” You sidestepped between some tables. “Um, okay.”

You spun away awkwardly as you tried to ignore your audience. Even Nisha, Tiana, and Ana had turned to watch the debacle. Well, the night was never complete without you making a fool of yourself. You hung your coat over the back of your chair and moved your purse as you sat. The room was still in a hush.

“Smooth,” Tiana raised her brows.

“Shut up,” You grumbled.

“Only you.” Nisha chided.

You peeked around at those who whispered around you and followed their own attention to the man you’d nearly tackled. He was with a group of several men and was shown to a booth near the back of the restaurant. You turned back and shook your head.

“I need a drink.” You declared.

“I’d say you do,” Tiana shook her head. “And a knock in the head.”

“You do know who’s foot you just stomped, right?” Ana asked.

“When do I ever know what is going on?” You said dryly. “So we doing just drinks or dinner?”

“She doesn’t even care,” Tiana gasped. “We should leave before she gets in anymore trouble.”

“Oh my god, what is the big deal?” You demanded.

“Take another look at that man,” Ana intoned.

You huffed and turned in your chair. You looked at the man as the server listened intently to him and you felt as if he was familiar but you couldn’t place him. He smiled at the waiter and then his eyes met yours. You blinked and spun back so quickly your chair wobbled. You shrugged as you steadied yourself.

“His name, which I’m sure will shake something loose, is Loki Laufeyson.” Tiana scoffed. “You might have heard that somewhere through that haze you call sentience.”

Your eyes rounded. A waitress appeared and asked for an order. You opted for gin on ice and rubbed your forehead.

“Shit.” You swore. “Well, I mean, it was just an accident. Not like I pulled a gun on him.”

“You scuffed his shoe,” Ana mused. “I’ve heard stories of him taking offence at less.”

“Don’t,” You warned. “I already have enough on my plate without worrying about…” You lowered your voice. “...the mob.”

“Oh, we’re teasing you,” Tiana insisted. “So how is Mrs. Forrest.”

“Nee Marris,” Ana added.

“Oh, you know, the same girl she was in uni,” You grinned. “Only this time she’s married her sugar daddy.”

“And she hired you to style her new house?” Nisha asked.

“Manse,” You corrected her. “As she prefers.”

“Definitely hasn’t changed,” Tiana smirked.

You all laughed as the waitress set your drink in front of you and you thanked her. You continued to gab over your menus and eventually ordered. You forgot about the bumpy beginning and were soon lost in the cheer. You had longed for a night out. A rare occasion when you reverted to the college girl procrastinating on her studying.

When your dinner came, so did another round of drinks. You paused and stopped the waitress before she could flit away.

“Sorry, but we didn’t order another round,” You wondered.

“Compliments of Mr. Laufeyson,” She said quietly. 

You froze and the other women looked at you curiously. You raised a brow and tried to subtly look over your shoulder. You didn’t turn all the way as you sensed another’s gaze on you.

“You can thank him but we can pay for them,” You insisted. “Really…”

The waitress blanched and your friends tittered.

“Oh, what’s the harm,” Nisha chimed. “Better than him sending something else.”

“Loosen up,” Tiana took a large gulp. “The free drink should help with that.

You sighed and Anna added to the plea with a grin. You rubbed your chin and relented. “You can thank Mr. Laufeyson.”

She exhaled in relief and agreed to do so. You grabbed your glass reluctantly and sneered at the girls before you forced your finest smile. You turned and found the man in question watching you. You raised your glass at him as a gratitude and quickly righted yourself in your chair.

“Oh,” Ana preened. “You think he’d pay for the whole meal? Give him a wink or something.”

“An,” You warned. “Really. That’s not the type of man you want to owe favours.”

“Really?” Tiana challenged. “Twenty minutes ago you barely recognized him.”

“Maybe not but I’d heard of him and his… supposed deeds.” You said. “You aren’t really encouraging this, are you?”

“He must like the whole clueless vibe you’ve got going for you,” Tiana trilled. “Rather endearing even if it does leave your toes a bit tender.”

“Hush,” You hissed. “Really. Let’s eat and then we shall relocate so that I do not entangle myself further with thugs.”

They laughed and you flaked away a piece of salmon with your fork. You shook your head. You had the sense of being watched and didn’t need to look to know why. It sent a frightful tickle along your spine. You were always quite skilled at walking, or rather, tripping head first into trouble.

🐍

That night was just another fleeting thrill in a series of missteps that never quite came to fruition. You didn’t need to worry about the mobster or your little stumble. Sometimes a kind gesture was just that and a coincidence was nothing more. No serendipity, no fate, just another anecdote about how your clumsiness had nearly gotten you in trouble.

You finished your dinner and found your way to a pub just down the way. The music was a little young for your tastes but the cocktails were on special and it wasn’t too rowdy. It was like Sex and the City but duller; and likely sadder. You shared stories of failed dates, workplaces peeves, and the latest drama witnessed on the tube. Provoking stuff.

Nisha crashed at yours. You woke on the couch, the birthday girl was offered the bed. You drank coffee with the curtains drawn but she didn’t wake up until noon. When she did, she finished the pot and dressed in her wrinkled clothing. You saw her off to the station and stopped by the shop for some orange juice and paracetamol.

You spent the rest of the day in the dark with Netflix in the background. You dreaded another day of Stacey’s obstinacy. What kind of person needed more than a dozen bedrooms in one house? Oh, and she did mention their summer house in the south? Well, if you couldn’t start appeasing her Cher Horowitz tastes, she might not need you for that.

The only thing you could do to prepare was set your alarm and sleep off your hangover. When you woke, the ice pick had dislodged from your skull and the fog outside helped mute the harshness of the sun. You dressed, had your coffee, a small breakfast, and readied to face off with Stacey.

The drive was an hour out of the city. Your small car puttered along but never failed to get you where you needed. You sang along to Petula Clark on the scratchy radio station as you yawned over the steering wheel. The old house rose before you; a hideous mishmash of an old Tudor cottage and a modern geometric renovation.

You drove up the winding drive and around the back. Classified as a member of the help, you weren’t permitted to park with the Bentley and the Rolls. You didn’t recognize the Aston Martin but you assumed it was another of Mr. Forrest’s associates. You climbed out, locked your car, and dropped your keys in your pocket.

There was a backdoor, formerly the entrance to the servants’ quarters, and you ducked through the arched doorway. The old corridor had recently been remodelled with a couple guestrooms, a modified laundry room, and a wine cellar. Paintings left by the former owners had been reframed and hung. Stacey couldn’t decide if she wanted to be old aristocracy or the new age elite.

You found Stacey in the kitchen. Her assistant, Deanna, was making her a green smoothie. She greeted you with a smile and flicked her finger across her tablet.

“Just in time,” She beckoned you over as Deanna set the glass down beside her. “I was thinking this lamp would be perfect for the master.”

You looked at the image. The clear glass body of the lamp was filled with large round sequins; a fishtank of tackiness with a feather shade. You had to hide your distaste.

“It could work,” You allowed, “But we would have to revert a few other choices.”

“Revert?” Her voice went deep and she sipped noisily through her straw.

“The curtains. You want sheen or lace. Not both.”

“Hmm,” She pressed her lips together. “I suppose. We could still have the curtains, they would be cute in the loo.”

“Cute,” You repeated as you resisted a laugh. “Well, as long as we keep to that theme in there.”

“I was talking to Paul,” She batted her lashes as she always did when she spoke of her husband; you suspected she held more affection for his last name and wallet than his person. “He did mentioned he wouldn’t mind a hint of snakeskin in his office. He doesn’t want anything too stuffy or old.”

“Oh yes, he is one for the… younger tastes,” You intoned. “We could probably work it in subtly. We don’t want it to be overbearing.”

“I suppose…” She rolled her eyes and took another long drink. “Well, I’ve tracked down those lamps in the city. I say we go and have a look around the boutique while we pick them up. Perhaps we can muster some inspiration, maybe even some imagination.”

You smiled and accepted the rebuke in stride. “At your leisure, Mrs. Forrest.”

“Stacey,” She corrected. “You know that makes me feel old.”

“Stacey,” You repeated and leaned on the counter.

“I’ll just finish this and then I’ll have Stuart drive us into the city.”

“I have a car,” You offered. 

“And so do I. It’s much nicer,” She insisted. “And we will discuss ideas on the w--” 

She turned completely in the tall chair and stood. “Paul,” She greeted her husband in a sing song. 

You watched her and angled yourself to keep your eye on her. Paul’s silver hair was thinning and still wore hints of the black dye he’d used to reclaim his youth upon his wedding day. His wrinkles deepened as he grinned and welcomed her against him. She wore stilettos and a skirt so tight it looked painful. 

Your amusement dwindled as another figure appeared behind him. You recognised the man immediately. It hadn’t been two days since your first and last encounter. As you remembered him, you were sure he remembered you. You were convinced of it as his green eyes sparkled and he smirked in your direction.

“Sweetheart, I thought you’d be off already,” Paul’s arm held Stacey around her waist. “I was just discussing our renovations with Mr. Laufeyson on his way out and was about to show him the east wing.”

“We were just on our way,” She announced. “We’ve some items to pick up for the master and soon enough we’ll move onto the rest of guest rooms.”

“Mr. Laufeyson,” Paul turned back to his visitor, his arm still around his young wife, “Pardon my negligence, this is Stacey’s designer.” He introduced you kindly. He might have been an easy dupe but he was nice enough. “They go back a ways. To university I believe.”

“Oh yes, I was in fashion and she was in interior, and so we ran into each other a couple times a year,” Stacey explained. “She always did have a good eye.”

“Ah,” Laufeyson neared and held out his hand cordially. You eyed it and the scene of you crashing into him replayed in your head. “Nice to meet you.”

“You too,” You shook his hand awkwardly and prayed Stacey would not stay too long to boast.

“Actually,” He let go slowly, “If you’re not too tied up at the moment, I have a place not far from here that needs a breath of fresh air. You see, it was my father’s and it still bears much of his tastes. Not very akin to my own but I am terribly obtuse at these things.”

“Hmm, well,” You swallowed and looked to Stacey, “My roster is rather full at the moment. How many rooms did you say there were in this place, Mrs. Forrest?”

“Oh, but she is not that burdened, Mr. Laufeyson.” Stacey insisted. “We have sorted plans for most of the rooms. You might take her on the odd days, if you wish?”

Your nostrils flared. She acted as if she owned you. As if you were to be lent out like one of her designer dresses.

“I do have a waiting list--”

“We are old friends,” She interjected, “As a favour from me, Mr. Laufeyson, as a thank you for your wonderful wedding gift, you might have a consultation upon us. Right, Paul?”

“Oh, yes,” He seemed to have awoken from a trance at the mention of his name. “That old place your father kept, it could use a good dusting.”

You glared at Stacey. If she wasn’t paying twice your hourly rate, you might have walked out. You quickly wiped away your chagrin as the attention turned back to you.

“Well, I suppose if Mrs. Forrest can spare me…”

“Tomorrow,” Stacey affirmed. “Leave the address with Paul and she’ll meet with you in the morning. I can survive the day without her. The contractors will be back for the west wing.”

🐍

The next morning, you left early to make sure you arrived on time, all so that you could eventually leave on time. Mr. Laufeyson’s house was not far from the Forrests’. You pulled up to the tall gates and rolled down your window to push the buzzer. A voice rose from the crackly speaker and you called out your purpose several times before you were understood.

The wrought iron gates finally opened and you pulled through slowly. The drive was even longer than Stacey’s and the house grander. It was indeed old-fashioned. You pulled up before the large garage off the side of the house and stepped out onto the cobblestone. Your thick heel skidded over them and you nearly tripped. You locked your car and carefully walked along to the front steps.

You climbed them carefully but stumbled up the last. As you fell and scraped your hands on the stone porch, you heard the door open. You looked up and cringed as Mr. Laufeyson looked down at you. He stepped out onto the porch and you dragged yourself up by the column at the top of the railing.

“You okay?” He touched your elbow gently as you dusted your hands off on your jacket.

“Fine,” You assured him. “You know, gotta make an entrance.

“You’re early,” He said.

“Shall I wait?” You asked.

He chuckled and waved you ahead of him to the door. “Not at all. I’ve been eagerly awaiting you.”

You were silent as you neared the open door and entered the large foyer. He was close behind as he pulled the door closed and you tried not to flinch as he brushed close to you. You looked up at the grand chandelier and the towering portraits of ancestors.

“Where shall we start?” He asked.

“Well, I usually begin with a walk through and then we can go over my notes at the end. Discuss what you want to change, what you’d like to keep,” You took out your notebook as you spoke. “You’ll have a copy of it all. Should you choose to carry out the plans with another designer, you’ll still have them as reference.”

“Very well,” He nodded and you waited for him to lead you; up the stairs, through the door to your left or to your right. Just to start the whole awkward day. 

“Mr. Laufeyson?” You glanced over at him and he smirked.

“Loki,” He said. “We can go without the formalities for the day, I think.”

“Loki, where should we start?”

“I know you remember me,” He ignored your question. “And I certainly remember you.”

“I did appreciate the drink,” You said evenly. “And again, I do apologise for my carelessness.”

He considered you a moment. He didn’t move.

“And you know who I am?” He asked.

“Who doesn’t?” You answered as you looked around tensely. Heat began to crawl up your neck. 

“A thug, no?” He wondered. You blanched at the word you’d used only days before.

“It was a joke…”

“I do not deny it,” He assured you. “Or take offence. I’ve been called worse.”

You took a deep breath and tapped your pen on your notebook. Your turned to look at him directly.

“Did you bring me here to reprimand me?” You asked.

His smirk remained and he buttoned his jacket.

“I brought you here to rid this place of my father’s stench,” He said coolly. “And because this universe has a peculiar way of aligning the stars.”

“Left, right, or up,” You pointed to each door and then the broad stairway. “We should begin before the time gets ahead of us.”

“We should,” He agreed. “The left, dear.”

🐍

It took you all day to get through every room of the house. As you explored, you pieced together the story of the old place. A family property passed down through the generations. Nobles until the Great War, criminals in its aftermath and since. They hid their delinquency beneath their titles.

Loki seemed to have little love for his late father. His words were resentful. He explained that this was the lesser of two houses; the other was bequeathed to his brother. Expected but still a thorn.

He talked more than you expected, as if to fill the silence as you jotted down notes. Perhaps to loosen your own tongue. A man used to charming others. His words were as useful a weapon as a gun. You found it hard not to let them sway you. It was easy to see him as pleasant when his task was not so odious.

You caught yourself several times. He followed a bit too closely, leaned in a bit too much to look over your shoulders, held doors for you, brushed against you a little too conspicuously. You sensed him closing in the further you delved into the old family stead. Felt him looming around you as you tried to focus on the peeling wallpaper and golden candlesticks.

You were on the third floor. The walls were lined with geometric sconces of the art deco era. They could be restored easily and once more stylish even a century later. You reached the end of the hall and tucked your notebook under your arm as he pushed open the door there. He stepped back and waited for you to enter. You did, cautiously.

You walked the perimeter of the room, around the armoire and the bed, the standing lamp, the curled feet of the night tables. An extravagant fireplace with statues of lions on its mantle gaped back at you. You stopped before it as you scribbled on the paper. You turned and looked around once more.

“Are you set on the bed frame?” You asked. “An antique but clunky.”

“Hmmm,” He thought as he neared the foot of the bed. “I’m not sure.”

“I suppose if you removed the canopy and replaced the duvet it might…” You glanced at him and your eyes strayed behind him. The door was closed. You hadn’t heard it shut. You shook off the tremor and looked back to the tasseled canopy. “It might work but you could free up a lot of space, make it a little more open with something less… imposing.”

He rounded to your side of the bed slowly. He dragged his fingers along the bedding and stopped beside you. 

“I think I know what might make it look a little nicer,” He said.

“Oh?” You kept your eyes on your notebook as you scribbled down nonsense.

“Yes,” He lifted his hand from the bed and grabbed your notebook. “I think you might look rather striking in it.”

He dislodged the book from your hand and you tried to catch it before he flung it across the room. You stared up at him in shock and he ripped the pen from your hand in kind. You stepped back, startled.

“Loki,” You gasped. “What are--”

“You knew the kind of man I was back in that restaurant,” He blocked you as you tried to skirt past him. “You knew it at the Forrests’, and yet you came here.”

“I came to work.” You insisted. “I came because another said I would.”

You tried to push past him but he caught you around your waist. He swept you off your feet and swung you onto the bed. You bounced on the mattress and sat up quickly.

“Loki,” You tried to shimmy off the bed. “I don’t--”

He was on top of you before you could get your feet over the edge. He shoved you back down and straddled you beneath him. You tried to wriggle out, tried to push him off, bat him away, but he caught your hands and pinned them to the bed.

“You knew that night who I was and what I can do.” He purred. “And I knew what I would do. Sooner or later.” He leaned over you until his nose almost touched yours. “I knew I would find you again.”

“Please,” You breathed shakily. “Please, you can stop and we can both forget--”

“I can’t forget,” He sneered. “I won’t.”

“Let me go,” You begged. “I didn’t… I didn’t mean for any of it. I said sorry, I--”

“Oh, dear, this isn’t about that,” He rubbed his nose against yours cloyingly. “This is about the way that ass looks in those pants.”

You whined and kicked helplessly beneath him. “Help!” You yelled. “Someone, please!”

“I dismissed the help when you showed up. It’s an empty house, dear,” He rocked his pelvis against yours. “In the middle of the country.”

You grunted in frustration. He sat back and released your hands. He pushed your jacket open. He barely noticed as you slapped his arms and chest. He chuckled even. He tore your blouse and his hands cupped your bra. He squeezed and rocked his hips. He groaned as he groped you.

He slid his body down over yours until he was draped over you. He bent his head to your chest and kissed along your cleavage. You pulled his hair roughly as you tried to wrench him away. A hand slithered up and closed around your throat. He squeezed as his teeth pinched your flesh. You cried out from the pain.

Slowly, he raised his head. A black strand fell across his forehead. “My dear, it means nothing for me to hurt you.” His grip tightened. “So if you insist upon it, I will.”

You grasped at his hand as you tried to breathe. Your eyes watered and you nodded frantically. Your head was starting to throb. He let go and once more buried his head in your chest. His hand crawled back down as he held him over you, he flicked your fly open with one hand and pushed the zipper down slowly.

You were paralysed. Shock, fear, mortification washed over you. You were stupid enough to come hear. Weak enough to go along with Stacey’s demands. And desperate enough to be inflamed by his touch.

His fingers hooked beneath the waist of your pants and the elastic of your panties. He tore them down. He jolted your entire body and backed off of you as he forced them down your legs and over your boots. You tried to sit up but he was quick to shove you back down. He put his arm across your throat and held you there as he pushed his knees between your legs.

You shook and clung to his arm as he leaned on your windpipe.

“Loki…” You pleaded.

He tickled along your thigh and slipped two fingers between your lips. You gulped as he flicked your clit and your thighs tingled. You bit down and he did it again. He delved between your folds and your arousal was soon obvious. He returned to your bud and rubbed until your thighs were tensed against his.

“You can try to resist me, dear,” He snarled. “But know, I’ll always find a way to get to you.”

He shoved his fingers inside and you cried out. He pressed his thumb to your clit as he drew his fingers in and out. You slapped his shoulder and latched onto it as he kept on. You could feel your ascent and he urged you to your tipping point. You moaned and closed your eyes as your body quaked in betrayal. You came on his fingers. You could feel it, hear it.

You tried to catch his breath as he left you empty. He slipped his arm off your throat and leaned on his elbow as he unzipped his trousers. You squirmed and he grabbed a hank of your hair and pulled. You whimpered and he rolled his pants down to his thighs. He dragged his tip along your wet folds and you spread your hands over his chest.

You shook your head and tried to beg with your eyes. You pushed on his chest and he lined himself up with your entrance. He slammed his hips down and you yelped as he impaled you to his limit. Your fingers clawed at the lapels of his jacket as he began to rock. You went limp beneath him as your body buzzed. You were repulsed by how good it felt.

He sat up and grabbed your thighs. He held your legs against him as he watched his cock slide in and out of you. Each thrust came sooner than last, harder than the last, deeper than the last. You reached out and balled the duvet in your fists as you tried to breathe away the mixture of agony and ecstasy. It didn’t work.

You came again. This time you shook even more and exclaimed louder than before. He let go of your left leg and reached to pulled your bra down beneath your tits. He kneaded as he tilted into you.

“Say my name,” He commanded. You shook your head and he pinched your nipple. “Say it!”

“Loki,” You whimpered.

“Again.” He growled.

“Loki,” You repeated.

“Keep going.” 

His name tumbled from your lips over and over. Each time he pounded into you, you recited the syllables. You came a third time and covered your face in shame. You were dizzy and confused. He sank into as deep as he could and the bed stilled. You felt him spill inside of you, his cock twitched as he groaned.

You went quiet and all strength drained from your body. He sighed and eased himself out of you. His cum leaked down onto the duvet between your legs as he crawled backward off the bed. You drew your legs together as he stood. He bent to grab your pants from the floor and tossed them over you.

He tucked his cock away and zipped up his fly. He pushed his shoulders back and let out another deep breath. He watched you smugly as you shakily sat up and grasped your pants. His eye brow crooked and he felt around in his jacket as it began to buzz. He pulled out his phone and read the screen.

“That’s the wife,” He said. “Shit. I’ll have to let her know I’m running late.”

You blinked as he turned and answered the phone. Your eyes were wide and your heart seemed to stop as he opened the door and disappeared into the hall. His wife. You hadn’t thought you could feel worse but like many things, you were wrong.

#loki #dark loki #dark!loki #loki x reader #dark loki x reader #dark!loki x reader #mcu #marvel #thor #fic #one shot #or short series #possible sequel #dark!fic #dark fic #au #mafia au #mob au

[j-pankratz]

The Slumber that Creeps to Me

Geraskefer. 7208 Words. Rated T.  Jaskier pulls an extreme all-nighter (read: 60+ hours) to finish a paper he procrastinated on, and finds at the end of it that sleep does not come as easily as he’d hoped. Tags for: Sleep Deprivation, Self Destruction/Lack of Self Care, Hallucinations, Nightmares, Overstimulation, Hurt/Comfort, Whumping the Bard, very loving partners, and a happy ending. <3 AO3 link in the reblog!

As with most disasters spurned by his own cockiness, Jaskier felt as thought that all in all, the situation could have been worse.

The idea to have Geralt and Yennefer spend the spring holiday break at Oxenfurt was, in his defense, ingenious. His students weren’t around, the weather was gorgeous, they all had varying degrees of business in the city, and they could fuck each other senseless at any hour of the day. In a bed. A nice one, provided he was a legitimate professor, now. Well, visiting. Well, it was complicated. But they were his rooms, and that’s what mattered.

When Jaskier gotten the prestigious offer to write the season’s main article for the Continent’s most respected Bardic Journal, he’d just sort of figured he’d… fit it in, somewhere. He had seventeen months, which was plenty enough for him. Then he’d just work with the editors, and have a centerfold piece. It was an honor. He was excited about it! He’d meant to get to it sooner, but decided the summer before that he’d devote the winter to it. But… he’d… he’d been distracted. It wasn’t often the entire family gathered at Kaer Morhen. So, he thought, he’d do it later.

But the first few weeks after winter were, of course, spent with Geralt. And the week after that, a trip to the coast, where he’d played a festival and met up with Ciri, who was becoming an amateur critic herself. And then by pure, absolute happenstance, after 3 more weeks of travel he happened to end up at an inn that he definitely hadn’t heard Yennefer was staying at. So that more time gone. And then he’d arrived in Oxenfurt, and he’d really meant to get to work on it, but there was so much to prepare for! He wanted things to be right for them.

And then Yennefer and Geralt had actually arrived, and the idea of anything possibly being more important than their presence flew his mind.

And now, here he was. If he wanted to get it in on time (unfortunately, that wasn’t a suggestion in this case, more of an actual, terrifying requirement,) he’d need to submit it in… gods above, less than three days. 60 hours, if he was doing the math.

There was no word limit, nor a minimum. But, ever the maximalist, he knew it was going to be… long, if he was going to do it right. They’d edit it down, but it was the focal point of the journal, they’d been leading up to it for ages now. Ahh. Well. There was only one thing for it, he supposed.

“I’m working through the night on my paper!” He’d announced that morning, sitting straight up in bed, jostling his sleepy lovers. “No one bother me! I will be at the dining table until further notice!” He swung himself out of bed and made for the door.

“Pants,” his lovers chorused together.

“Right!” he'd said, and marched back into the room.

He’d pulled all-nighters in his youth. In fact, he couldn’t count the times he’d worked through the night, deposited a composition or essay on his professor’s desk with some polite conversation and maybe a wink, and then promptly fallen asleep during the lecture itself. Just a 15-minute power nap, really! Then he’d be back up and at it again, working through another night just to sleep through the weekend. He’d done it before, he could do it again.

Well, it’d been 25 years ago, but that didn’t change much, did it? He still felt spry, agile, hearty— hell, he’d spent the better part of the last twenty odd years chasing after a Witcher, and later an additional princess and mage— surely he should be in better health now!

This was completely accomplishable. Admittedly, he could have written this sooner… but he hadn’t, and here he was.

Geralt and Yennefer both set out early on different errands, leaving the bard to some peace and quiet. Relatively.

He spread his work and references out before him. 7 books, 4 pamphlets, his favorite quills, a hundred fresh pieces of parchments, his lute at his knee. “Alright,” he said aloud to his empty Oxenfurt apartment, “Just sit down and write the damn thing. Sitting part, definitely done. Writing next. Just… write.”

He stared at the page.

“No! No, no, do not be impossible about this. Just start the thing.”

The page stared back.

“Ah, blast,” he muttered, rubbing his eyes. This was fine. Just… do the awful, disgusting part of beginning, and then he’d be off. The sooner he started, the sooner he’d finish, after all! He took a breath, and put his pen to paper.

xx

Yennefer returned a few hours later, a book and small parcel in hand. Jaskier looked up to see her sweep through the room, a commanding presence, though she didn’t acknowledge him yet. A few waves of her hands and a pot of tea was put on to boil, her hair was put in a bun, and three mugs were floating down from a shelf.

“Lovely to see you too,” he smiled as Yennefer poked through the tea collection. He could practically hear her fond eye roll. She neatly plucked two from one box and looked back at him in question. “Ah… peppermint, if we’ve got it?” and she turned back to the cupboard grab it.

“Any progress?” She finally asked.

“A bit, actually!” Jaskier said cheerfully. It didn’t look like much, but he’d done half a page with almost no errors, and he’d made plenty of notes in the margins of the books he’d need later. It was better than he’d hoped it’d be going by this point, at least. He was kicking academia’s ass. Or, he would be.

The kettle whistled and Yennefer poured the tea, bobbing all three of the tea bags up and down as they steeped. He watched her lean against the counter, casual, relaxed, gorgeous, before realizing she was staring back at him. “Um! Yes, no, definitely good. Got a lot of… those words, you know, they are definitely here. Looking very sexy. The words! The writing is looking… very sexy, very curvy… letters. Sensuous words, you know.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Sensuous words.”

“Yeah, yes. Like… contemporaneous… and… iguana.”

“Iguana.” She let out a little huff of a laugh and something in Jaskier’s chest tightened and loosened in quick succession. And in a moment she was there, sliding him a large mug with the carving of a rather playful looking bear on one side, batting at a butterfly.

“Oh! My favorite. Thank you, thank you.”

“Mmm,” she said before waving a hand to cool down their tea a bit. She took a seat opposite him, scanning an eye over the table. “Think you’ll be done by tonight?”

Jaskier laughed. “Darling, I’ll be lucky to be done by tomorrow morning.”

“You’re planning to stay up all night, bard?”

“Unfortunately.” He took a sip. “Should be done by tomorrow afternoon, if I keep steady at it.”

“After tea, of course.”

“Of course.”

Yennefer stretched out a bit, kicking her feet onto Jaskier’s lap and rolling her neck. They sat there a moment, sipping, pausing, drinking in each other. There was something nice about taking a moment of stillness with someone just as frenetic as he was, someone who was usually just as itching for something to do, even if she went about it differently. The grace of choosing stillness, he thought, was not something to ignore.

Yennefer reached the end of her mug and tapped its ceramic walls lightly.

“What’s next for you?”

“I have to refresh my potion stock, so I’ll be at the market for supplies. You sure you don’t want to take a break and join?”

Rat’s ass. He fucking loved the Oxenfurt markets. “I’m afraid I can’t. Academia calls.”

“Who does it call for, exactly? What’s that I hear…” She cocked her head and listened intently. “Who is it calling for… is that… V… Val… Valdo?” Jaskier hefted her feet off of his lap in protest, and she laughed. He plucked his quill from its stopper, and went back to hovering over his paper. Introduction mostly accomplished, now he had to really lead in to his point, give some proper context. He flipped through a book beside him.

Yennefer rose smoothly from the table and went to move her mug to the sink. “When Geralt gets in, tell him I need toadflax and bluebells from him? Might as well put him to use.”

Jaskier flipped through the pages, thumbing through for a note he’d sworn he’d made ages ago, when he belatedly tried to register his mage’s words. He could have his fun, too.

“Blue…Yennefer, you want me to tell Geralt that you need blue balls from him?”

“Bells! Bells, you absolute child!” she said. “Honestly. Blue balls? Really, Jaskier?” He was giggling. “I don’t need to ask to give either of you blue balls.”

“Exactly, Yennefer, you provide that service for us anyway, free of charge!” A balled-up napkin hit him in the head and he laughed joyfully.

“I can’t stand you. I’m leaving, you’ll never see me again.”

Jaskier looked up through his grin and met her twinkling, happy eyes. “Tonight then?”

“Tonight,” she agreed, and left with a quick ruffle of his hair.

xx

“Still working?” Geralt said as greeting later in the afternoon. The desk was neater than Jaskier expected it to be this far in, only a few books open, dog eared and marked in colored ink. He’d written a page and a half since Yennefer left, and it was good, it was, but he’d need to go back and make edits later. His long empty mug of tea sat far across him.

“Mm,” he agreed, continuing to write. “Ah, Yennefer came through earlier,” giving a gesture to the waiting mug of tea on the counter. Geralt made his way over to the mug, and gave it a small igni to warm it. He smiled fondly down at the drink—what a terribly lovely sight he was. Warm here, and safe. Couldn’t it be like this always? The three of them here, comfortable and happy? No, he supposed, but gods how he wanted it.

“She’s at the market now,” Jaskier continued, “wanted me to ask you about...” He lifted his pen and squinted. “Ah, toadflax and bluebells.” He looked up at Geralt, smiling. “Blue balls,” they said together, sporting matching shit-eating grins, Geralt’s albeit much smaller. “I made the same joke myself,” Jaskier added.

Geralt snorted. “How’d she take that?”

“Oh, as well as you’d hope. We’ll never see her again, of course.” He turned back to his work, reading over the last paragraph. He could feel Geralt approach to stand behind him, and while he’d normally shoo his witcher off, he was too deep in concentration to bother.

How long was too long to linger on the progression of oral storytelling to bardship? It’s not like he could ignore it, (Geralt’s hand came to grip his shoulder, a thumb rubbing against it tenderly) as it was a crucial tenant of the argument— but there was plenty to be said for assuming the literacy and foreknowledge of the reader. (He leaned in to get a closer look at Jaskier’s page, the soft warmth of the tea in his other hand bouncing off his chest) But this was to be in a journal often referenced by first years, and he knew how much he would have loved a paper that had everything all in one—

“How’s it going?” Geralt asked softly in his ear.

Jaskier waved a hand over the mess before him. “You know. It’s fine, I’m just not sure at what point I’m lingering on points to excess.”

“Mm,” Geralt hummed understandingly. “Tell the story. Trust your gut.” He gave Jaskier a nuzzle and light kiss against his cheek before taking up the empty mug off the table and walking off further into the apartment.

“I always do!” Jaskier called back. Mm, if only this were as simple as telling a story. Well…Oh—if he spent this paragraph referencing the progression it would end up taking up more room, be a run of the mill lead-in, but if he wrote the actual history as a short story itself, now there was an idea, he could make his point and give the context. Oh, fuck, brilliant—

“Back soon,” Geralt was saying as the front door slipped shut, but the bard was too lost in his work to do more than give a small nod of his head.

The sun was falling, making a graceful bow into the horizon. Warm light spread out over the streets of Oxenfurt like the last pushes of tide, ebbing, and flowing, and sinking back into night.

“Ah, fuck,” Jaskier muttered, crossing out a spelling error with a snarl.

His shoulders ached, and his lower back was going to be the death of him. He was on page 7. All he could see was the work ahead of him, winding off ad infinitum. If he didn’t pick up the pace, he might have to go 60 hours straight—he shivered. Not ideal. He took a breath, stood up and stretched a bit, his muscles groaning in thanks. A quick bathroom break later and he was sliding back into his chair, still warm, his papers grinning up at him, sardonic.

He’d take a meal break at 10 pages, he told himself.

He stood to stretch and his head swam. Well. Plenty of reason to stay seated, he supposed.

Geralt and Yennefer returned at 12 and a half pages. He turned his head in greeting, and when he looked back he got the first real look at the table in hours—it was a disaster, crumbled pieces of parchment, empty quills, and little notes strewn everywhere. Some books propped open, the pile of parchment looking more like a mountain slope, an empty glass from when he’d chugged water hours ago.

His loves were clearly a few drinks deep as they came through the door, and completely unmarred by the woes of academia. Bastards, honestly.

“Hi, hello, hope you had a good evening, I—”

“Come to bed,” Yennefer said, suddenly right behind him. Two small but firm hands came to his shoulders, rubbing deeply.

“Ah! Oh, fuck—oh, yes, darling, right there—”

Geralt came to his other side, tipping his head up for a kiss, which he moaned into. His witcher’s tongue was soft, pleading, tempting him—his mage’s hands pushing almost painfully against his aching muscles. He wanted to cry, it was so good. It was so different than the last… however many hours it had been that he had been sitting here. Geralt pulled away, and Yennefer’s hands came to rest as well.

“So?” Geralt asked, his voice deep and velvety. “Bed?”

“I…” gods, who had he become? “I can’t. I want to, I just—”

Yennefer placed a kiss to the top of his head. “It’s fine,” she said, and he knew it was, but he hated denying them something they all wanted. “Have you eaten?”

Jaskier frowned. “Fuck. Not really.”

Geralt sighed and went to the pantry. “You’re getting a sandwich,” he grumbled.

“Ooo, Geralt, dear heart, would you heat it up? Use some of your,” he wiggled his fingers “your witchery magic?”

Geralt turned and glared. “You’re getting a sandwich.”

“He’s so mean to me,” Jaskier muttered to Yennefer, “I can’t believe he’s so mean to me.”

His mage snorted a laugh into his hair. “You’re really staying up all night, then?” She waved a hand and the curtains around the room swept shut, and his lantern began to burn steadily.

“Looks like it,” he sighed. Geralt retuned a moment later, plated warm sandwich and glass of water in hand.

“Fuck. Thank you.” He took it and took a bite, suddenly ravenous. He looked up at both of them, staring down in fond amusement. “Fank—” he swallowed his mouthful of sandwich. “Thank you both, truly. I’ll be up a bit. If you need something, call, yes?”

They rolled their eyes. “He tells us to call if we need anything,” Yennefer muttered. “Don’t get into any trouble,” she said, and with a peck on the cheek from both of them, they disappeared into the bedroom.

He looked back at his work.

Okay. 12 ½ pages in. He could do this.

x

At 15 pages, he felt ravenous again, and made a second sandwich. Not as good as Geralt’s. Geralt’s sandwiches weren’t even that good, but they were made by Geralt, which added a certain kick, a novelty he adored.

He drank another glass of water and shook his head. Back to work.

At 17 pages, sometimes the world swam before him. He gripped the edge of the table. Fuck.

He was so tired. 23 pages. He kept writing.

It was terrible. The whole paper was a mess. Nothing made sense and people were going to laugh at him. 25 pages.

He heard a sound. Was that Geralt rising for the bathroom? Was it an intruder? Light crept in through the window. 27 pages.

There was a ringing in his ear. His writing was getting increasingly larger. 27 ½ pages.

Geralt gave him a soft nuzzle to the top of his head before padding through to the kitchen. Jaskier’s heart ached. His bones ached. Writing was hard but right then it felt impossible. 27 ¾ pages.

Geralt lingered, and Jaskier felt his nose twitch. He tapped his foot impatiently, waiting for him to leave. He couldn’t have any distractions right now. He shut his eyes tight until he heard the bedroom door close once more.

Yennefer entered hours later, sweeping the curtains over with a flick of her hand. Bright light flooded the room, painting the desk in all its full, disgustingly messy glory. “Well—”

“Could you ask next time?!” Jaskier snapped. “Some of us need consistency to concentrate!”

Yennefer raised an eyebrow, and they stared at each other. Some part of him wanted to slap himself but the rest was just so irritated. Who’d she think she was, anyway?

After a moment, the mage turned and left with a flick of her hand to sweep the curtains shut again.

“Headed out,” Geralt said at 30 pages. “Contract.”

“Good,” Jaskier muttered. “I mean. Good that you’re—fuck. Whatever.”

Geralt stared. “You need rest. It’s been more than 24 hours.”

“I need to fucking finish.”

“Yen said—”

“I’m sure she did,” Jaskier muttered, driving his heels into his eyes. Gods, his eyes burned. Silence hung.

“She portaled out this morning.”

Jaskier rolled his eyes. “Great. Love that. I’m a fucking disaster, thank you for the reminder, Geralt.” He waved toward the door. “Don’t you have a contract?”

He turned back to his papers, shifting around to look for page 11, and didn’t think about how long it took before Geralt left the apartment.

His hand was shaking but he was at 34 pages. He still had so much to say. Fuck. But he was in it now.

He scarfed down some soup that was mostly broth at some point, and he’d under-salted it, but it was something. His eyes kept going blurry; traitorous things.

The bear on his mug was plotting his downfall.

38 pages and Jaskier felt like the gods themselves had gifted him with the knowledge he now bestowed onto meager commoners. He was a genius.

At 43 pages, he had stopped to lay out the entire essay on the ground, so he could see it all. The words sometimes swam before him, and he had trouble remembering what he was meant to say next. Once, he looked up, confused as to where he was. And then, at 44 pages, the guilt of snapping at his dearest loves, the weight of this behemoth paper he wasn’t even sure he could finish, and his own self-doubt crept in and seized him up, leaving him breathless and in tears for… awhile. Everything hurt. He had to keep going.

At 48 pages, he saw a griffon fly through his window, and he named it Kalvin. He turned whatever color Jaskier wanted him to turn, which was very considerate of him. Kalvin was his only friend now, and with a little convincing, might become his editor, too.

At 55 pages his chest seized, and it was hard to breathe for a moment. He closed his eyes but—no, no, couldn’t do that. If he fell asleep now, he’d never finish in time. He tried to relax, got some water, leaned against the counter. Everything was a mess.

He sat back on the floor, his work around him. Keep going.

“I don’t think there’s anything about anything that I have to be doing right now. Kalvin, you’ve… you’ve got to understand, this could be my finest work! It’s good. It’s pretty good here in… in this part, here. In that other part it’s just okay, but that’s why you come in with your big claws and you’re gonna. Rip up the bad parts. Don’t rip up the good parts. Right? Yeah. Do you think they’ve forgotten about me by now?”

He looked down. 57 pages. Took a long blink.

“Yeah,” he said softly, “That’s fair.

He had to write two extra pages so that he could skirt around referencing Valdo Marx’s work as anything other than a contradictory point. Maybe it would have been fun to use his own writing against him but he didn’t want to give the satisfaction of being referenced positively in a centerfold piece.

He lost the essay.

“Fuck—oh, gods, where did—”

He turned around, looked down. Oh, there it was.

“Thank fuck.”

The curtains were still closed and the charmed lantern was still burning, but Jaskier knew it was night by the time he reached 63 pages and Geralt came in.

Jaskier looked up from his spot kneeling on the floor. Geralt looked fine. He was a little dirty. There were some gushy bits. Probably blood. He was tired. Or just mad. Maybe he hated Jaskier.

“You’re still—?!” Geralt asked, looking at Jaskier like he’d just said a griffon named Kalvin had flown in the window earlier and now they were friends.

“I met a griffon,” Jaskier heard himself say. Geralt stared. “We’re friends now.”

“…You need to fucking sleep.”

“No.” Jaskier went back to the margin he’d devoted to drawing circles in. “Sorry ‘bout earlier.”

Geralt sighed. He might have talked but Jaskier didn’t hear, just kept writing.

“How often has that been happening?” he heard Geralt ask.

“What happening?”

“Where you fall asleep for a moment.”

“I haven’t! Fallen asleep.”

“Fuck,” Geralt said. He looked very nice, except for the goop all over him. Well. Even that wasn’t so bad, when the underneath bits were Geralt. His Geralt. Looked so warm, so strong, so able to carry him.

“Later,” Jaskier replied, and went back to his words. The familiar pop of a portal sounded in the bedroom. Their eyes lingered on the direction it came from, but Yennefer didn’t open the door. They looked at each other, and then back at the door which remained very much shut. “She’s mad.”

“Yep.”

“At me.”

“Yep.”

There was a pause. “Are you covered in blood?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Oh.”

“Not mine.”

“That,” he said pointing to the Witcher, “is good.”

“Mmm.”

“Sticky though.”

“Definitely sticky.”

Yennefer came out of the doorway, and Jaskier blinked. When he opened his eyes again she was much closer than she’d been and was in the middle of talking. Magic, he assumed.

“—yourself very lucky, bard.”

“Yeahh,” he said. “Sorry. ‘Bout… Sorry.”

She huffed and crossed her arms. There was a look in her face. Eyes? And her mouth. It was hard to name. Words were hard, when they weren’t the words he desperately needed to write.

“—for a while,” Geralt was saying. “Jaskier. How close are you to finishing.”

“Soon!” Jaskier said. “Soon! Soon. Due… 1pm tomorrow. What time is it?”

“10pm.”

“Fuck. Psshhh. I can… I can do it.” He looked up at Yennefer. “Sorry. Really. I… I’m just tired,” he admitted. “Shouldn’t have snapped. Not fair to you.”

Yennefer stood there, arms folded, emanating some emotion Jaskier had lost the concept of around page 41. Geralt walked further into the apartment, into the bedroom. Oh right. Blood armor. Ick.

He went back to writing and tried to ignore the desire to cry again, and then suddenly Yennefer’s shoes were in his line of vision.

“Let me read it,” she said.

“Oh.”

They stared at one another. She had such a pretty face. He might have been smiling. She rolled her eyes and then came to sit next to him. She quickly found the first page and began.

Halfway through it, he spilled ink on the bottom half of page 64, and wept. Yennefer gave him an attempt at a comforting pat on the back.

Yennefer had read the pages and risen; “It’s good. You need edits, but it’s somehow decent. Good. Whatever. A little… loose, toward the end, though,” made herself a cup of tea, and entered the bedroom.

Either a few moments, or 20 minutes later, Geralt emerged.

“What are you at now?”

“69 pages.”

“Nice,” Geralt said.

“Ha. Yeahhh,” Jaskier agreed.

“That’s not what I—” Geralt sighed the sigh that meant his face was going all pinch-y. “Close to the end?”

“Mmm. What is the end, really?” Geralt made a different pinch-y face. “Soon.”

“Come to bed tonight, Jaskier.”

“I’ll try,” he said. He blinked, and Geralt was gone.

There are a lot of words in an essay that are very hard to spell.

Jaskier ate the rest of a loaf of bread.

For a while, he swore he walked the streets of Oxenfurt while still warm in his professorial housing.

Kalvin’s accent changed three times and at one point he was on fire.

85 pages.

Geralt woke first, as always; There he was! That was his love. So much of his heart.

With shaking hands, Jaskier had brought himself up to sit in his chair, and sat staring down at his work. He looked up at Geralt with a lopsided grin. “I did it,” he said weakly.

“Need help putting it together?”

The tears fell so quickly he didn’t realize it was happening. “Really?”

Geralt sighed softly and knelt down, organizing the papers.

Yennefer emerged a bit later—There she was! His love, a chunk of him was hers entirely. He smiled. “Look!”

“Mmm. And now you can sleep.”

“NO!” Jaskier cried and leapt to his feet, “No, no, now… now is presenting time. To… the editors. Not Kalvin. But I turn it in… and then sleep,”

He had a sudden burst of energy, and tried to step over Geralt and the papers, but fell into the table instead, before the Witcher steadied him from below.

“Ohhhh, thank you dear. It’s time for… presentation! Mm.” He leaned into Yennefer’s warmth at his side, though she did not wrap her arms around him as he’d hoped. “Help me pick out an outfit.”

He blinked. Yennefer was in front of him now, looking at him with a frown, her hands around his waist. Geralt’s hand was against his forehead. “No! Stop that! I’m fine. I’m fine! See me! Fine. It’s action time. Let’s go!” and he marched off to the bedroom.

The floor was suddenly very close to his face.

“Did I—”

“You fell on your face.”

“Have I—”

“You’ve asked three times now, yes.”

There should have been fanfare when he turned it in, but there was only the grateful smile of Edmond, the young new assistant, a firm handshake, and a promise he’d hear back from them very soon, for a quick summarization of their initial thoughts. Or, he’d used all those words, Jaskier forgot which order they’d come in.

The three returned to the apartment, and everything happened very slowly and so quickly he found it hard to keep track. There was definitely a bath drawn for him—gods, it had been days, hadn’t it— oh, fuck, he was gross, wasn’t he—a full meal, and a celebratory drink. He’d made a few good jokes, and all he could see were Geralt and Yennefer, smiling at him. An empty glass. A bar of soap. A long quill. A messy table. A pile of books and an empty mug. They deposited him on the bed for sleep, and left together.

Jaskier lay there, waiting for sleep to take him.

It did not.

He was so tired he could cry. He did, a few times. He couldn’t think straight. All of it, everything, hurt. His body ached. He tried to soothe himself down alone, rocking himself in the hopes it would work. But nothing.

What if he could never sleep again? What if he would always be awake, forever? What if this was how he died?! Oh gods, he didn’t want to die! He still had edits to approve!

Eventually, he could feel himself getting closer. He adjusted himself, lay on his back and took deep, measured breaths, kept his eyes closed but relaxed. Okay. Okay. Sleep.

He was falling, so violently and so fast that when he jolted awake, he forgot he’d been lying on a bed in the first place.

Fuck.

He tried again. It happened sometimes, it was fine. He’d be fine.

He tried breathing deeply once more, trying to let the distant scents of Yennefer and Geralt now embedded in his pillows overtake him.

A fear so powerful it gripped his heart and twisted, whispered to him, ‘this is what dying is, you’re going to die’ and he once again jolted awake. He threw his head back against the pillow and winced; even that hurt.

Fuck. Fuck.

He kept trying. Over, and over, he’d get so close to sleep and then right at the precipice, something would yank him out of it.

Once, he saw Yennefer falling off a cliff. Another time, he saw Geralt stabbed through the chest. At some point, he saw Ciri screaming, and his hands flew out to pull her close, only to find nothing there. Sometimes it was himself falling, and sometimes it was the world below him falling instead.

He’d really done it this time. Stayed awake so long, sleep had abandoned him entirely.

It felt like twelve years before Yennefer and Geralt returned, slipping into the room quietly. He sat up in bed, startling them both.

“Please,” he said quietly, “I can’t. I don’t know why I can’t I just—I can’t. My body won’t let me, I want to but I can’t—”

“How the hell—” Yennefer started, walking over to him with a palm out to check for a curse, maybe? It didn’t matter. He wrapped her hand in his and clutched it to himself, desperate for her. She was so warm. So alive.

“Fuck,” Geralt sighed, “It’s been nearly 70 hours already, Jaskier.”

“Let me just put him down with magic,” Yennefer started, but Geralt put a hand up.

“We can’t. It’s a temporary fix. if he can’t fall asleep on his own without magic, it’ll get harder and harder for him. We need to get him to fall asleep without it.” They looked down at him. What a disgrace he must look like, how pathetic he was. He turned his face away in abject shame. He couldn’t even fall asleep right.

While he looked away, Yennefer tore her hand from his as she and Geralt discarded their clothes into heaps beside the bed, crawled beneath the covers on either side of Jaskier. They hated him. They must. How could they not?

“It’s fine, you don’t—fuck, sorry—”

Geralt shrugged. “Don’t be. I know how bad it gets. It’s different for a Witcher, but no sleep is the whole reason we met Yennefer.”

“Oh, yeah,” Jaskier said softly.

“As I recall, the solution then was to have vigorous sex on the floor.” Yennefer ran a finger along Jaskier’s chest. “Sound appealing?”

“I—yes, Yennefer, it sounds appealing.” He fidgeted, tried to focus on the feeling of Yennefer’s delicate touch. He was oversensitive enough that it felt like fire, but nothing… stirred, and each word he spoke felt like he was pulling honey from his tongue. “I don’t… much as I’d like, I’m not sure I’d be... up for it right now.” Yennefer’s head fell against the pillow and she flattened her hand, ran the palm up his chest to rest above his heart. Pressed a kiss there.

He closed his eyes and tried to breathe deeply, but they were looking at him, he could feel every inch of their gazes and it was all too much. He whined in agony. “I can’t do this. Fuck. I can’t, just put me out. We try it again tomorrow, I—”

“Jaskier. You can. Tell us what you need and we can help you,” Yennefer said, sweet but firm. And that was her, wasn’t it?

He couldn’t think. Wanted to. Wanted so much. Wanted to be asleep.

Jaskier curled up on his side, exhausted of being exhausted, when he felt Geralt slide up closer behind him. “Can I hold you?” he murmured into the bard’s shoulder. Jaskier nodded, and felt Geralt’s arm come around him and under his own arm, felt it slide up his chest and cross it protectively.

“Feel good?” Jaskier nodded, and then cracked his eyes open, met Yennefer’s, concern palpable.

He lifted one arm just slightly. “C’mere?” And she did, curled into his arms and around him, tucked her head under his, kissed the top of Geralt’s fingers. He held her close, and was held by the two in turn. Breathing, somehow, felt easier between them.

“Breathe, bard,” Yennefer urged him softly. Geralt buried his nose in Jaskier’s hair, took in a deep breath, and Jaskier tried to follow.

They breathed softly, all together, slow and safe. Soon, he was drifting into sweet oblivion.

‘You,’ Fear said, wrapped around his sternum, ‘will crumble, the moment you let go of wakefulness.’ It gripped him, and tugged him back to reality.

He jolted again. “Fuck, dammit, cock wringing—”

Yennefer pulled back to look at him worriedly. “Is that what’s been keeping you up?” she asked.

“It’s, I don’t know, something just pulls me back, I try to fight it but…”

“Mmm,” Geralt agreed. “Sleep starts. Happens sometimes.”

“The hell are sleep starts?”

“They’re… when you’re too on edge to sleep, or just haven’t in too long, brains… fizzle. Keep you awake. It’s a survival instinct—it makes you think you’ve got to stay awake to stay alive. Feels like falling? Or… a shock. Sometimes other things. Hallucinations.” Geralt pressed a kiss to the back of his head. “It’s scary. It’s meant to be. Your body thinks it’s fighting for its life.”

“I am never letting you doom yourself like this ever again,” Yennefer said, and while it was probably meant to come out angry, she just sounded worried.

Geralt hummed and agreement. “Try again, we’ve got you. We’re not letting go.” Jaskier took a breath. They had him. They had him.

Yennefer lifted a hand to Jaskier’s temple. “May I?” And he let her in, easier than breathing. She gave him Ciri laughing, wind chimes on the breeze, the soft roar of the coast. Geralt hugged him tight, ran his other hand through Jaskier’s hair, tried to keep the bard’s breathing aligned. Now, what had he ever done to earn these two?

Soon, sleep came to him again, and he could feel Yennefer ready to soothe anything that came for him in his mind, Geralt ready to defend against anything that dared hurt his resting body. The darkness crept in, and he felt peace.

Geralt was reaching for him, falling, bleeding, screaming.

“FUCK!”

“Shh,” the real Geralt hushed him. “We’ve got you.”

“Fuck, there’s got to be something else,” Yennefer groaned. “What’ve you tried so far?”

“I have tried… to fall asleep.”

Yennefer and Geralt both huffed small laughs. “No. Positions—”

“Only the good ones.”

“Meditating?” Geralt asked.

“Darling, I haven’t had a thought in my head in hours. This is meditation.”

“Drugs?” Yennefer asked.

“I will try the drugs!” Jaskier said with a drowsy cheerfulness, as Geralt replied “No drugs. No.”

“Ugh,” Jaskier groaned, and shifted to lie on his stomach. Oh. This was… better. He nestled into the pillows, and a soft contented sigh drifted from him.

“That feel better?” Geralt asked as he ran a hand up and down Jaskier’s back. “Mmm,” Jaskier replied. Yennefer’s hand joined Geralt over his chest. Oh, they were going to make him cry.

And then it was too much, too much feeling, like his brain couldn’t handle all the sensation, and he felt Yennefer come to pause, and a moment later, Geralt’s hand as well. ‘That better?’ Yennefer asked in his mind. Jaskier gave her the memory of his favorite hug with her, warm and happy as her legs wrapped around his waist, and his favorite with Geralt, crushing and firm and full of too many emotions to speak aloud.

“Could…” he said softly, “Just. Talk? Not to me. Just… to each other. Just wanna hear you.” He could almost hear their smiles, and felt as they settled in on the pillows beside him, arms and hands intertwining on his back. Yennefer’s head on his shoulder, the gentle planes of Geralt’s chest on his other side. “If you need us, Yennefer and I are here. We’ve got you. You’re safe.”

He nodded into the mattress, cool and soft below him.

“Goodnight, Jaskier.”

“G’night Yennefer.”

“Goodnight, Jaskier.”

"G’night, Geralt.”

He started to fade into oblivion, but stopped himself before he got too far. Not fear, not anxiety, a conscious stopping. Somewhere above him, Geralt was telling Yennefer about the contract from… sometime in the past few days, and Yennefer was telling her own story about some town gossip with a woman and her hens, which, it might have been a metaphor, but he’d basically forgotten what those were by now. He breathed deeply, felt their words flow through him, and when he felt brave enough, he let go, trusting they would catch him.

He could have sworn he heard wind chimes, somewhere.

x

The small amount of light filtering in through the curtains was golden when he awoke. His head both ached and felt light as a feather, his muscles screamed and cried but half of it was in relief. He gave a small stretch and yawned. “G’morning,” an amused Geralt said to him, lounging in a chair he’d brought beside the bed, reading a book. His legs were propped up on the bed beside the bard’s and Jaskier stretched to bump their toes together.

“What time…?”

“You slept 13 hours.”

“Fuck.”

“You probably need more.”

“Yeahhhh.”

“Feel alright?”

“Like a real human being,” he said. “Hungry, though.”

“Mmm.”

Yennefer slipped in the door, but, noticing Jaskier was awake, rose a hand. “May I?” she asked, voice dripping in sarcasm, gesturing to the curtains.

“You may,” Jaskier offered, covering his face with his hands. “Ohhhh, gods, how bad was I?”

“Genuinely awful,” Yennefer said, as Geralt was saying, “There’s been worse.”

“Normally I’d withhold this,” the mage said, withdrawing a small envelope from her pocket. “But, under the circumstances…” she cleared her throat.

“To one Julian Alfred Pankratz. We were extremely pleased to receive your manuscript yesterday afternoon. Our editors are will have their notes to you by the weekend, but we wanted to reach out and extend our most sincere compliments on your work. It is—oh, a flood of adjectives, I’m skipping these. Etcetera, etcetera, sucking your dick, etcetera alright, here—and meticulous in construction. We can tell,” Yennefer said, dragging out the final sentence, “you made good use of your year of writing time to complete the work.” Jaskier and Geralt by this point were holding back true howls of laughter.

“And won’t you believe it, there’s more. Ahem; we have a number of suggestions and questions already, but encourage you to get your well-deserved rest as we prepare our feedback. We are grateful to work with you, and thank you again for your stunning entry. There’s a postscript,” Yennefer added. “As a quick and personal note, we cannot have helped but notice the nature of your penmanship; we mean no offence, but would encourage you to see a doctor of the eye to fit you with some spectacles.”

“My—my penman…? What’d—” and Yennefer, who had clearly been waiting for this moment, brought out a rather crumpled piece of parchment with an ink stain at the bottom—ah, yes, the original page 64— and showed it to him. His eyes were… gods, they were aching, but he was clear minded enough now to see that each line had become at least twice it’s normal size. The lines were far from straight, dipping and bending toward the edge of the paper, the letters changed directions at random points, and a fair amount of the words were smudged so completely they were hard to make out.”

Jaskier stared in horror.

“They. Is that. Is that what it looked like? Really?”

“It’s worse than most of the ones that made it in,” Geralt said, carefully.

“Most?!”

“You drew pictures on one of them,” Yennefer said.

“Oh my god. They…they must…”

“Adore it, clearly,” Yennefer said, setting aside the paper. “It wasn’t worth the strain, and you’ve definitely firmly embarrassed yourself, but they’re either embarrassing themselves by fawning praise on you,” she said, sliding onto the bed, “Or you’re actually just… very knowledgeable and talented, even when addled by sleep deprivation.”

There was a pause, Jaskier soaking this in; it hadn’t been worth it, exactly, but it wasn’t all bad. In fact, it was quite good, and Yennefer was complimenting him outright, so, very good.

“Or both,” Geralt added.

“Definitely both,” Yennefer agreed.

Jaskier groaned. “You can’t be mean to me. You’re in my house and I am extremely tired, which means that you, by law, must kiss me and tell me nice things about myself.”

Geralt laughed, light and free, and Yennefer slunk slower down into the bed. “You get no kisses,” she said, “You get sleep and rest.” She grabbed a pillow from under her head and plopped it delicately onto Jaskier’s face.

“Boo,” Jaskier said, muffled beneath the thing. He closed his eyes. Geralt muttered something, and Yennefer gave a snort of laughter, and then there was silence.

“Are you two kissing up there?!”

More silence.

“UGH,” he groaned, and sunk into his soft, sweet mattress. Oh, beautiful mattress. How he adored it, how he adored his two loves on top of it. He listened to their kissing, soft, and sweet, and knew he’d join them soon. But it was so warm down here. Even as one of them removed the pillow, he could only bring himself to open his eyes for a moment, to see them both leaning to kiss his face gently, before returning to each other. He took a long, deep breath, and listened to them swirl around him, until all he could feel was their love and the sweet caress of his pillow.

#Geraskefer #Jaskier Whump #Soft Geralt #Soft Yennefer #The Witcher #Witcher Fic #jaskier #geralt #yennfer of vengerberg #sleep deprivation #insomnia #hurt/comfort #Witcher Whump #Butterbard's Fics

[tallstars-rewrite]

Chapter 17

chapter list / previous / next

In what little free time he was permitted in between patrols or extra long hunting missions, Tallpaw went back to visit Jake several times. All he had to do was say he preferred hunting in the Swift-Step Hills, which led up to the northern borders treeline. Jake was bolder in his exploring now that he knew the way there and back. Tallpaw never let himself stay for very long, only a brief conversation or even a wave hello, but the tiny visits were like a breath of fresh air to him. Any small moment of respite completely disconnected from his life and worries back at camp was sorely needed.

 It was easy enough when he was out training with Dawnstripe, when he was too busy with her to think of much else, but he was still procrastinating a conversation with the tunnelers. Normally he wouldn’t go so close to where he knew their patrols might be working, but he was having trouble finding prey elsewhere. He’d almost given up entirely and began trailing back to camp when he spotted a large doe rabbit hopping erratically back and forth between the hollowed entrances of the tunnelers new passages. It was a newer one, dug through what may have recently been an old rabbit burrow. Tallpaw was able to sneak up on it and kill it quickly while it was looking lost. His paws sank uncomfortably into the newly scratched soil, and he winced at the feeling. He took to avoiding the tunnels altogether recently, afraid of bumping into one of the patrols and not having a graceful excuse prepared for why he hadn’t joined them yet. The last thing he needed was to accidentally collapse some fragile part of an invisible passage, so he left as quickly as he could. 

It was past dawn at this point and the wind was blowing particularly strong today, bringing with it dark clouds from over the mountains, along with the damp taste in the air signaling coming rains. Tallpaw stared up at Outlook Hill, squinting against the light. Fawnleap was standing alone on top, with his claws fastened into the dirt to keep from blowing off his paws. He was stretching his neck up towards the sky, appearing to be deep in concentration. Sparrow was staring up at him from the base of the hill. Tallpaw padded up behind the small dark tom, and set his rabbit down on the ground.

 “What in StarClan’s name is he doing up there?” he asked.

Sparrow didn’t turn to greet Tallpaw, but replied, “He was complaining on and on yesterday about wanting to outgrow his mentor and his siblings. So I told him there was an ancient legend that claimed if you spent long enough in a very tall place and focused all your energy on stretching up towards the sky every day that it would help you grow as much as seven mouse lengths within a season.”

Tallpaw snorted. “That’s nonsense, you can’t just will yourself to be taller. Where did you hear that?” 

Sparrow looked at him “I was telling a joke,” he meowed flatly. 

Sparrow’s tone of voice sounded the same no matter what he was saying. I’m not sure he knows how jokes are supposed to work... Tallpaw thought.

 “Has he been up there all morning?” 

“I think so.”

“You...can’t just tell Fawnleap things like that, he always takes you seriously.”

Sparrow was staring blankly back up at the spotted brown tom, who still hadn’t broken his focus.  “He’s...so stupid,” he breathed, sounding almost awe-struck. 

“Hey, Fawnleap may not be the brightest cat on the moor, but he means well.” Tallpaw glanced sideways at the loner. He still couldn’t get a good read on him like he could the other visitors, who seemed to always wear their emotions plainly on their pelts. “So...how are you settling in?”

“Awkwardly.” Sparrow replied. “Some of you are alright I suppose. I don’t actually mind Fawnleap when he’s not talking my ear off. He’s less prickly than others around here. But I’ll be excited to leave.”

“Oh.” Tallpaw was a little taken aback by the bluntness in his tone when he said that. “Why is that?”

“It feels like you clan cats always have to be fighting someone. I don’t want us to get tangled up in your issues with this ‘ShadowClan.’ I don’t understand why you can’t just let them hunt on the land they want and be done with it. It’s just trees and grass. Is it really worth starting some kind of war over?”

“It’s not that simple. Our land is a part of us, it’s not just anything, that’s why we defend it. We can’t give it away carelessly.”

He caught Sparrow rolling his eyes and Tallpaw flattened his ears, but he was determined not to get into an argument. Maybe Sparrow had a reason to be prickly. They weren’t visiting for happy reasons after all, and Tallpaw tried to muster some understanding for the young loner. “None of you are going to be in danger here. ShadowClan is our problem to handle. Hen is perfectly safe in our camp.”

“Sure…” Sparrow avoided his gaze and Tallpaw saw for perhaps the first time a scrap of emotion from him as a glimmer of worry darkened his gaze. There and gone just as quickly.

“You must be worried about her,” Tallpaw said sympathetically. “It must be hard seeing the cat that kitted you so sick.”

“She didn’t kit me.”

“She didn’t? Sorry, I thought Bess said-”

“She is my mother,” he said firmly, “in every way that matters. I share no blood with any of them.”

“Oh, of course. I guess I just assumed, I mean, I know kittypets get separated from their family often but I thought loners might be different--or whatever you call yourselves.” 

“You don’t even know how strange you clan cats are.” Sparrow sniffed, “I guess it’s easy staying with the cats that you’re kin with. Bess, Algernon, and Reena are after all. but most of the loners I pass don’t think much about blood. You find where you belong best by yourself, and maybe it’s not with who you happened to be born with. I never even knew my blood kin. They’re either dead or left me behind. I don’t really care. There’s only ever been Hen as far back as my memory goes. She’s my family, and I don’t want her in danger. No matter what."

Tallpaw didn’t respond. He could at least understand Sparrow’s loyalty to the old cat, it wasn’t dissimilar to the loyalty a clan cat should feel to the rest of their clanmates, but even so, he couldn’t imagine not knowing his kin at all. They were the cats who brought him into the world after all. But it must be easier choosing who fits you rather than being stuck with someone you can’t please, a small voice hissed in the back of his mind, and he immediately mentally kicked himself for thinking it. How could he be so ungrateful? 

He heard Sparrow mutter under his breath "I just think the others are...too trusting sometimes. It's only luck that we haven’t gotten into much trouble with strangers on our travels so far.”

“Well... Hawkheart knows a lot about healing, and he’s doing everything he can to help her. Even if he’s a bit prickly about it.” Tallpaw said.

“I understand.” It didn’t sound like he actually did. “It must be a big ask for him to help some cat that didn’t happen to be born here.”

Sparrow’s voice made it hard to tell if he was being sarcastic.

Just in case he was, Tallpaw said “if we had more reliable resources it would be easier for us to be generous to every cat, but we only have what our territory provides, and most of the time it’s only enough for us.”

Sparrow narrowed his eyes at him. “Well you had no problem helping that dopey barncat past the moor.”

Tallpaw stiffened.

“I wasn’t following you if that’s what you’re thinking.” Sparrow continued. “You told us to stay near the trees, and Reena saw him wandering around a couple days ago, and then I saw you wandering after him. You don’t sneak around very well.”

“Oh--! Well, that’s--um…” Tallpaw sputtered. He really thought he’d been doing a good job at keeping that secret.

Sparrow rolled his eyes. “I won’t tell your clanmates if that’s what you're worried about. Neither will Reena if you don’t want her to, we’re not tattle-tails. If you want to frolic with a pet, go nuts for all I care. I don’t want to get tangled up in your...weird hang ups about outsiders or whatever. I have no reason to get you in trouble with your dad, I’m not holding a grudge against you for tackling me or anything.”

“Oh. Um.” Tallpaw gulped. “Well...thanks. I think.”

“Trust me, I wouldn’t be interested in talking to your dad for any reason. That sandy tom is your dad, right?”

Tallpaw blinked. How much had Sparrow been watching to even take note of that?

“I supposed I was worried you’d be just as rude and stuck up to us as him. We all make a point of avoiding him.” Sparrow said.

“I’d thank you not to talk about my father like that.” Tallpaw hissed defensively. “You don’t understand the pressure we’re under, and he’s doing more to protect our clan than any other cat right now.”

Sparrow looked a little surprised at Tallpaw’s shift in tone. Tallpaw was too, but his father was a great cat, and if he was rude to Sparrow it was probably because Sparrow was rude to everyone. 

Sparrow blinked. “Sorry? I didn’t think it would be a big deal. I mean, I figured him being unpleasant was just an obviously observable fact. He snapped at me just for sitting here earlier. ‘Said he had gone all over looking for you and was annoyed that I didn’t know where you were, but I don’t see how that’s my fault. I guess he wants you for something. He’s waiting around camp.”

Tallpaw stared at him, “Wait, was that this morning? Why didn’t you start with that if you knew he was looking for me!?”

“Umm…” Sparrow trilled in thought. “Because I think he’s rude and annoying and I didn’t feel like doing him a favor? I say you should ditch him.”

“For StarClan’s sake! You have a lot of nerve calling any cat rude! I don’t have time for this!” Tallpaw picked up his rabbit and started dragging it around the hill. Before he disappeared into camp, he called over his shoulder, “and tell Fawnleap you made up that story! Clan cats don’t have time to mess around!” 

It must be so easy for Sparrow, never having to defend anything and tagging along with his friends. He didn’t even seem to care much about the other cats in his group save for Hen and himself. Sparrow clearly didn’t know what it meant to care about anything bigger than his own paws. Tallpaw decided it was better not to try making friends with the loner after all, the last thing he needed to be doing was hanging around a cat that was antagonizing Sandstone. If Sparrow wanted to brood off on his own, then he could do what he liked and then he could leave with his friends and  Tallpaw wouldn’t have to think of him ever again. Meanwhile, Sandstone was working his paws off trying to deal with so much. And I should have been back sooner…! His tail drooped, and the brief feeling of respite he’d had traveling to the woods near the farm was swept away. It was irresponsible to be going in the first place.

In camp, Tallpaw was surprised to see Sandstone talking with Dawnstripe. Dawnstripe looked a little exasperated, but she smiled at Tallpaw as he approached.

 He held his rabbit up a little higher as he trotted past them. I hope at least this makes a good excuse for taking so long.

 “Great catch!” Dawnstripe called, “I wish I’d seen it, your hunting is coming along well.”

Tallpaw looked expectantly at his father, who seemed a bit distracted but eventually nodded to him, and to his immense relief he didn’t look angry to be kept waiting.

 “Yes, good job Tallpaw. I’ve been looking for you! I’ve been wanting to talk to you about our project.”

“O-oh, sure ok.” Tallpaw said through muffled fur, and hurriedly went to put his catch with the rest.

“Great news, don’t worry about moor training today. You’ll be joining me on an important excavation,” Sandstone said as soon as Tallpaw scurried back over to them.

“If you want to,” Dawnstripe added quickly. “And only if you have the energy for it after your errand. It’s a sudden change of plans, but Heatherstar has agreed that all apprentices should learn more about tunneling so they know how to be safe around them. Sandstone thinks today is a particularly good day for it.”

“And it is! Now is the perfect time, don’t you agree?”

Tallpaw felt his stomach clench with fear as his father looked into his eyes. This was too sudden. Go into the tunnels today? He hadn’t had time to prepare himself. By habit, he immediately started rushing through his head for an excuse to ease himself out of it. 

Dawnstripe gave him a knowing look. “It only has to be some basics and safety tips, at least knowing what fragile places not to go running over.” 

But Tallpaw knew his father, and he knew there was no way he was going to be satisfied with that.

The look Sandstone was giving him confirmed just that. “We’ll start with the basics and then get more in depth from there. Tallpaw can’t be kept away from his true calling forever, Dawnstripe. I think he’s been patient long enough. He’s waited moon for this!” 

Sandstone’s voice glowed with an almost triumphant pride. Dawnstripe narrowed her eyes at him and Tallpaw suddenly remembered how he’d confessed to Dawnstripe on his first day how much he hated tunneling, but he hadn’t told her about not admitting that fact to his father. 

Before she could say anything, Tallpaw spoke first, feigning a confidence that he didn’t feel. “Alright, I'll try it.”

“Excellent! See Dawnstripe? I knew he’d be excited for it.” Sandstone purred.

 Tallpaw gave his mentor a wide-eyed desperate look. Please don’t say anything about it! Dawnstripe’s gaze was confused, and tinged with concern, but all she did was nod slowly and say, “Well, be careful. Follow all the rules.”

Tallpaw dipped his head to her quickly as Sandstone began herding him away back out of camp. Just one day, I owe it to him to try...maybe it won't be so bad. It was difficult to really believe that. A patrol of Plumclaw, Woollycloud, Crowfur, and Mistmouse were waiting for them. 

Woollycloud blinked in surprise when he saw Tallpaw. “Good morning Tallpaw, I didn’t know you’d be joining us today.” He looked questioningly at Sandstone.

“Glad to see the young cat!” Crowfur said, “the more the merrier. Or the muddier, as I always say.”

Plumclaw winced and rolled her eyes at the terrible joke but she waved her tail at him in a welcoming gesture.

“I caught Dawnstripe before she went out with him again,” Sandstone said. “This will be an important step in our bigger project and I knew Tallpaw couldn’t miss it. When he gets farther in his tunneler training, this will provide invaluable experience.” Sandstone nudged Tallpaw “You're witnessing the beginning of history you know. WindClan’s future will have a reformed network that will make us safer and stronger than ever, and you’re finally going to be a part of that.”

Tallpaw nodded, trying and failing to work up the same level of enthusiasm.

Mistmouse cocked her head “I thought we were just doing another routine check of our recently enforced tunnels today?”

Sandstone shook his head “We were, but as I was inspecting them ahead of time, I noticed the tunnels in the eastern field have finally fully thawed underground and the dampness will make the walls easier to press together without it crumbling. It’s a perfect opportunity to reinforce it before any bad weather.”

Woollycloud narrowed his eyes in concern. “But we haven’t been able to confirm that the soil is stable enough to tunnel there. The moisture could make the roof heavier as well, and there's a rabbit warren very near the area we’d risk disturbing.”

“Don’t worry so much Woollycloud, trust me! It’s perfectly stable, and if it’s not, we’ll deal with it as we always do. But we have a limited window to show Heatherstar real progress so she’ll understand why this is a good idea! Now let’s go. Keep up Tallpaw, I’ll run you through the basics on the way.”

The anxiety pricking at Tallpaw’s stomach didn’t ease much as Sandstone rattled through the rules of tunnel etiquette as they walked. The exact distance to keep between yourself and the tunneler ahead of you, how to pack dirt to the side to keep it out of the way and reinforce walls, how to use your whiskers and nose instead of your eyes to feel the walls of the tunnel and sense the direction you were going, how to feel vibrations that signified the tunnel wall was unstable. He had a faint memory of Sandstone rambling off these things to him as a kit when he practiced, but it had been just as incomprehensible then. When the spiel finished, Tallpaw’s head was spinning and he found the more desperate he was to keep the information in his mind, the faster it would slip out again.

They arrived at the stretch of ground Tallpaw had tried hunting near earlier where the grass thinned out and damp earth poked through in patches. Sandstone led the patrol to a dip and Tallpaw saw a small area where the earth sloped down into a very narrow, very dark, and very cramped looking hole, just big enough for a cat to get through. He gulped.

“It gets wider once you're inside. The entrance is a bit small.” Woollycloud said, clearly noticing the tension in Tallpaw’s body.

“This will be just like the digging practice you did as a kit.” Sandstone said. “We’re going to check out the inside and see which branched off areas are sturdy enough to fix up and expand. This will be the entrance of the tunnel that comes out on the ShadowClan border, if we can get it that far. It will be long and complicated, but that’s intentional. The more confusing, the harder it will be for potential enemies to navigate it."

A whole maze of winding tunnels that a cat could easily get lost in... The ground in front of Tallpaw seemed to yawn like a hungry mouth, waiting to clamp down on him.

“Remember what I told you,” Sandstone continued, if he could sense Tallpaw’s apprehension he didn’t make any sign of it. “Woollycloud will go ahead, then me, and you’ll stick right behind me. Mistmouse will follow behind you at a tail length.”

“And Crowfur and I will go ahead and branch to the right to test out the other path.” Plumclaw added

“And I trust my old apprentice will have no trouble with that.” Sandstone nodded with pride.

Plumclaw led Crowfur into the tunnel with confidence. Tallpaw couldn’t help but feel a twinge of envy for the molly, so sure in her paw steps. She had been trained by his father and he always looked at her with approval. Stars, stop being a jealous kit and focus on what’s important right now, mouse-brain! Tallpaw chided himself.

When Woollycloud squeezed into the tunnel, Sandstone nodded to Tallpaw signaling for him to go next. He tried very hard not to visibly seize up as he put his paws at the tunnel entrance and squeezed down it. 

The air became startlingly cooler against his face, and a damp chill quickly began working its way under his pelt. It was somehow even darker than Tallpaw had feared. Light quickly vanished behind them and there was nowhere else for the sun to peek through, or wind, or anything. The walls brushed against his sides, tugging uncomfortably at his fur. He was painfully aware of the weight of the earth increasing above his head as the tunnel sloped downward. Don’t think about it, don’t think about it, he repeated over and over.

“See Woollycloud?” he heard Sandstone say “The tunnel walls are still plenty sturdy.”

Woollycloud hummed in response “Perhaps. Mistmouse, the passage up here is too narrow for me, do you think you could squeeze on ahead?”

Tallpaw couldn’t see either of them, but he heard Woollycloud’s loud pawsteps get fainter. His tail twitched nervously and he accidentally whipped Mistmouse on the muzzle, who sneezed as his short hairs tickled her nose.

“Sorry.” Tallpaw croaked.

“It’s alright,” Mistmouse mewed. “I was nervous my first time too, it’s normal.”

Tallpaw felt more embarrassed than comforted, but he hoped she was right and that the thudding in his chest would stop soon. He had to awkwardly press himself to the side, but the lithe molly easily wiggled under him. He was afraid if he pushed the wall too hard, it might buckle.

“Come on, keep up!” He heard Sandstone’s eager mew suddenly farther ahead. Tallpaw hadn’t even noticed that he’d kept walking. “Let's check out this passageway. I think I remember it looping back around to the main path.”

“I can’t see you, where is your voice coming from?” Tallpaw’s mew was hoarse and shaky. Sandstone’s voice had a strange echo to it, trapped and bouncing off the walls, vibrating strangely against his sensitive ear fur. Even the noises down here sounded wrong and cramped. 

“Remember to use your whiskers and your nose!” came Sandstone’s voice. Tallpaw couldn’t think clearly enough to use any sense. He had the distinct feeling any sudden or out of place movement would cause something to break, so he moved stiffly and carefully, crouched over and keeping his head ducked, careful not to touch any wall as if he could pretend that he wasn’t really trapped on all sides so long as he didn’t feel it. His chest was starting to ache as the pounding of his heart bordered on painful. It felt like he had to strain for every breath. He stumbled ahead blindly until he bumped into the stout form of Woollycloud.

 “Don’t focus on what you can’t see,” the tunneler said.  “You’ll soon be able to understand how to detect sound sources in the tunnels, in fact, you’ll be able to detect them even farther than above ground.”

“It feels hard to breathe.” Tallpaw gasped. “Is there air down here?” 

“Yes, we can breathe.” Woollycloud said, a gentle purr rumbling in his chest to soothe the jittery apprentice. “Take deep, slow breaths. The air tastes different, but you won’t suffocate, I promise.”

Tallpaw nodded before remembering Woollycloud wouldn’t see it. Mistmouse had come back to join them, reporting that the tunnel did open up more but the soil of the main path was feeling a bit loose, and she didn’t feel comfortable digging to make it wider. Woollycloud grumbled something to himself

“I-is it safe?” Tallpaw whispered. He was still struggling to breathe normally.

“We’ll have to use the side path, the earth is made of sturdier material.” Woollycloud said. “Your father and I would never let anything bad happen to you. You're safe as long as you're with us. Just keep padding forward, I’ll be right behind you.”

Tallpaw felt the smallest bit better as he adjusted to the dark. The air still felt thick and musty, but his lungs were working. Perhaps it was just in his head. Earthy walls brushed against his whiskers when the path widened and narrowed. He decided to close his eyes so he wouldn’t think about not being able to see, but then he was so focused on the walls that he almost ran into Sandstone.

“Here is where we’ll start digging.” Sandstone said. “This was an unfinished extra passage from moons ago, and it should loop around to the main path. Come put your paws here.” Tallpaw pawed in the dark until his father’s larger paw pressed his against the earth. “Start from higher up and work your way down to create a large enough path.”

Tallpaw obediently started to claw cautiously at the earth. Woollycloud had hung back and Tallpaw heard him sniffing at the walls as Mistmouse squeezed around to join them, her nimble paws already burrowing at the earth in small fast strokes. Tallpaw winced as his claw snagged a rock. The damp earth oozed and clumped uncomfortably under his toes. Every time he felt soil crumble, he winced, wondering if it would take the roof down with it.

“Are you sure it’s stable enough to do this?” he squeaked.

His heart sank as he heard Sandstone let out a short irritated sigh. “Tallpaw, this is my life's work. You don’t know what you’re doing yet. Don’t think, just listen to me and let me guide your claws. I’ll place your paws where they need to be”

“Ok...” Tallpaw mewed quietly.

“It can take half a day to make progress,” Sandstone said. “Slow and steady work. Of course, it’s faster the more paws we have.”

There was a hint in his voice that said ‘paws like yours would make it faster,’ and Tallpaw grimaced. It felt like it had been days already and Tallpaw never quite got over the feeling that the air was too thick to breathe. His shoulders were already sore and he longed to stretch out, but between the body of his father and Mistmouse, he couldn’t. He was stuck in the cramped, stuffy dark, trying very hard not to think about how heavy the world above him was. Just keep digging and stop thinking about it! This was his father's pride. It was important, it wasn’t supposed to be fun. What kind of warrior cared more about what they wanted than what was needed? After a while of shoving his negative thoughts down, he almost started to feel a rhythm for it as his father showed him how to press the earth to the side so it didn’t get in their way. He could space out enough and just focus on the pattern rather than the nervousness fluttering in his belly like a trapped bird. Woollycloud was close behind them focusing on smoothing and pressing down the soil in their wake. Tallpaw couldn’t help but catch a sense of apprehension in him.

“Rabbits used to use these tunnels,” the big tom said to himself. “But all the scent around here is stale. It’s strange, since there should be a warren so close.”

“I hadn’t noticed,” Sandstone replied. “They’ll come around again, and this will be an advantageous hunting spot as well.”

“Sandstone,” Woollycloud had a hint of worry in his voice, and Tallpaw froze automatically. “The soil here doesn’t smell like clay anymore. I don’t think we should dig further just yet. Maybe we should change direction.”

“We’re close, Woollycloud, it will be fine.” Sandstone panted. He seemed so eager, so sure, but Tallpaw heard Woollycloud’s tail flicking. Mistmouse had slowed down too.

 Tallpaw was caught up in his father's stride and didn’t quite notice when Mistmouse said, “Hold on, do you smell that? It smells like water. The soil is much wetter here. Have we reached the marshy ground already?”

Tallpaw finally froze in place when his claws squelched loudly as they contacted mud. Something shifted above his head.

“Oh StarClan,” he heard Woollycloud whisper, and in a moment Tallpaw could have sworn his heart stopped beating.

“Don’t start panicking,” Sandstone hissed to him, “Let’s just step back and--”

The earth under Tallpaw’s paw buckled inward, sucking his pads into the ground. The solid seeming roof above his head bowed downward ever so slightly, more ooze than solid. He couldn’t see it, but he felt it. He could have sworn he heard a creak in the earth, a sound that sent a jolt down Tallpaw’s spine. Were there rocks above his head waiting to come loose? Nightmares from his kithood swirled in his vision, the earth cracking, an unnatural rattle of death surrounding him on all sides, promising to sink him into the rotting, choking earth, crushing the air from his lungs and the bones in his body. It all flashed through in an instant, he couldn’t move, he forgot how to breathe, he was frozen, staring at where he could picture the roof of the tunnel bowing down another hair's breadth. 

“Tallpaw, we need to--” 

There was a warning in his father's voice, Woollycloud said something but Tallpaw’s heart had started hammering so loud it echoed in his ears. A tiny clod of dirt fell from the roof and bounced off his muzzle. That was all it took for every bit of tension in his body to break all at once. The panic he’d held back and stuffed down burst forward like a violent flood, and Tallpaw wheeled around with a screech. Whatever was in front of him was knocked to the side, and just behind him the earth growled and the roof started to sink in. Tallpaw heard a screech of fear and pain and he wasn’t sure if it was coming from him or not, he was only able to run, and run he did. 

He couldn’t see and he couldn’t focus on his senses. He tried to remember the way they had come in, but they had twisted and turned so much there was no way to keep it straight and his mind was too shot through with panic to bother trying.

“Wait Tallpaw!” That might have been Woollycloud, or it might have been his father, he couldn’t tell in the echo of the tunnel. “We must stay together! Keep to the right!” they yowled.

Tallpaw screeched as he smashed headlong into a hard wall. Pain flashed through his muzzle, but he barely registered it for more than a second before he was running again. faster faster faster his mind chanted in increasing dread I’m going to be trapped, i’m going to be lost, i’ll be crushed, help, help, please someone help! Where's the light? Where where where-- His own thoughts hardly felt like words anymore as they dissolved into frightened babbling and yowling for a way out of this nightmare. He thought he’d reached a dead end and wheeled around with a ragged wail of fear and helplessness, starting again in another direction, but he was turned around now and he didn’t know if he was running back the way he’d come. He smashed into something he thought was a wall, but it yowled back at him and yanked him another direction with a rough bite to his scruff. 

“That way, you mouse-brain! Keep your head on and go straight!”

Tallpaw was in no position to fight against it and let himself be herded onward by whoever was just at his pawsteps, shoving him left and right, and grabbing his tail hard when he tried to turn the wrong way, until, to the greatest relief Tallpaw had ever felt in his life, light started to enter his vision. It grew until Tallpaw dove out of the hole they had come in through, tumbled over his paws and landed with a thump on his belly, gasping for breath. Plumclaw was standing over him glowering, her ruffled gray fur bristling. “What in StarClan’s name was all that!? Where did you think you were going?”

Tallpaw couldn’t answer. He was panting and shaking too hard. Suddenly all of them were surrounding him, saying things at him, it all just sounded like noise. Tallpaw’s body was telling him to run, and it was a struggle not to give into it. The thing that finally broke through the noise was his father.

“Tallpaw!” Sandstone yowled, and Tallpaw jumped as he realized he’d been yowling for a while now.

“W-What?” Tallpaw wheezed.

“What have I told you over and over? You don’t ever ever panic like that when you're underground! You nearly got Mistmouse seriously hurt and you ignored every order! You’re lucky Plumclaw found you before you ended up completely lost, I told you to stay with me no matter what!”

“M-Mistmouse?” Tallpaw stuttered in a daze. His gaze blearily settled on the small dusty gray tabby. There was a gash just behind her front leg and Plumclaw was beside her trying to lick the dirt from the cut.

“You piled into her and knocked her into the wall when you ran! Don’t you know how dangerous that is? Why didn’t you trust me?”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t know what happened--” his sentence choked off with a ragged gasping cough. His lungs were still not cooperating.

“Give him a moment,” he heard Woollycloud’s voice. “He’s had a fright”

“I’m alright,” Mistmouse offered, though there was a quiver in her voice as well. “It’s not so bad…”

“Don’t make light of the situation, Mistmouse!” Sandstone growled.

“I didn’t mean to,” Tallpaw tried, “I thought I was going to be crushed like--”

He almost said “like Leafshine”, but he caught himself.

“Of course you wouldn’t have been!” Sandstone snapped. “The collapse was only a couple tail lengths long. We could have stepped back and been alright, but we had to help Mistmouse up to get her out and then find you.”

“The important thing,” Woollycloud said, “Is that all of us are here and safe.”

Sandstone took a breath trying to rein in his anger, and gave Tallpaw a withering look. “Tallpaw, but what happened to you in there? Why didn’t you listen when I told you to stop?”

Tallpaw didn’t know what to say. Shame started to replace the panic squeezing at his chest, threatening to crush him the same way the earth had tried to. 

“I’m sorry” he whispered again, feeling his voice had abandoned him along with the rest of his strength. “I don’t know what came over me I was just--I was just so scared.” A flicker of frustration began to burn under the shame and lingering fear. The frustration must have come through if only for a moment as some small, very small, part of Tallpaw was crying out that it wasn’t fair for Sandstone to have expected this. “You were saying so much and I didn’t know how to keep it all straight! I can’t remember everything you say when I only had the morning!” He was surprised to hear it in his voice, as weak as it was. He’d never sounded even a little cross with his father before.

Sandstone glared at him for a long moment. Then he shook his head and fell silent. Tallpaw’s frustration was snuffed out as every long second that passed by sent that crushing shame clawing further up his throat. He expected his father to match his frustration with a bellowing anger, but instead after several agonizing heartbeats, what he finally said was “No...I blame myself.” 

Tallpaw was confused by the sudden change of tone and immediately regretted his little outburst after seeing the hurt on his father’s face. Sandstone had flipped from anger to dejection in a heartbeat.

 “W-what? No, it wasn’t your fault,” Tallpaw stuttered. He was the one that panicked, why would it be Sandstone’s fault?

“I delayed this too long.” Sandstone gritted his teeth. “I expected my kit to be such a natural, you should be more than ready by now, but I didn’t push hard enough against Heatherstar. I let you go on, thinking that you would get sick of moor running on your own and neglected the precious training time you had when you were younger. It’s my fault for not trying harder to prepare you.”

Tallpaw wished desperately Sandstone had just yelled at him, the bleakness in his father's eyes hurt more than anything. 

“No, no, it won’t--!” Tallpaw started, but his voice caught in his throat as the sentence choked before it came out. He almost said ‘it won’t happen next time, next time i’m sure i’ll do better.’ But he didn’t know how to continue. Next time? What next time? How could he bear going down there again?

 Woollycloud stepped forward. “We should go back to camp and let Mistmouse get looked at. We’ll also need to have a meeting between us. I don’t know if these tunnels are going to be able to do what we want them to do.” His voice sounded hard in a way Tallpaw wasn’t accustomed to hearing from the gentle tom. Tallpaw was afraid to look up at him.

Mistmouse walked with a bit of a limp that sent another wave of guilt crashing over the still shaky apprentice. His panic hadn’t just hurt him, but his clanmates as well. He wondered if Ryewhisker and her siblings would be angry with him for putting their mother in danger.

As they walked, Woollycloud leaned down and whispered to Tallpaw, who was trailing behind the group, “It’s alright. This was...a lot to ask of you for your first tunneling experience.”

I should have been able to do this though... He looked after Sandstone miserably. He couldn’t bear to see his father look at him with such disappointment. Tallpaw just wanted him to be happy. But he never would be, not if this is all he wanted his son to do.

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#cw emotional manipulation #cw claustrophobia #FRU17 #chapter 17