#i did actually make a cover thing a while ago and ill upload it at some point but i thought finishing this talkloid first would be better(?)

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

made a new talkloid and these images i had to make for it are so fucking funny to me so here they are separately

(art for chris is by paperdarkfish)

#my video lol #(ig? the link is there uhhh) #shitpost #vocaloid #talkloid #synthv #genbu synthv #kagamine len #oliver vocaloid #chris vocaloid #the genbu one is fucking SENDING ME i have such a bad sense of humor but it was the funniest thing to me god. im so evil to him #but LISTEN i LIKE him!!! everyone calling his voice ugly stfu u just dont know how to tune him right 😭😭😭😭 HE IS CAPABLE OF SOUNDING GOOD #idk im based ignore me #i did actually make a cover thing a while ago and ill upload it at some point but i thought finishing this talkloid first would be better(?) #since it is abt the topic of covers lmfao... though spoilers the cover i made has NONE of the vocas featured in the talkloid lolololo #the oliver one is so threatening lmao... i have a picture of that same fucking png of him but holding a gun and. yeah. #it is midnight here where i am wtf am i doing lol. i stayed up until 3 am yesterday in a hysteric fit of nostalgia tho so?????

[bonnyskies]

deadly agenda ⇢ myg

min yoongi is a dangerous man. you’re a manipulative wife. together, you two are a deadly duo, and you both have your own agenda.

pairing — emperor!yoongi x wife!malereader ft. king-husband!taehyung

genres — angst, sexual themes, royalty!au, strangers-to-lovers!au

warnings — age-gap (reader is 20, yoongi is 28), swearing, degrading terms, mentions of death, feminization, descriptions of murder, sexual themes, infidelity, betrayal, slight voyeurism, yoongi is intimidating and reader is manipulative, basically they’re just plain evil

author’s note — i hate tumblr’s new update. i had more to write (not enough for a part two) but couldn’t because of the new 250 text box rule. but as for this story, this is probably the longest one i’ve written so far and the one i’m most proud of. anyway, hope you all enjoy and sorry for taking so long to upload this, took lots of planning and rewriting, plus i’ve been busy with school too.

word count — 7.4k

masterlist

Min Yoongi is a cautious, yet observant man.

Whoever steps foot in his palace, he makes sure to know everything about them. Who they are, they’re background, appearance, and how they approach him. Each and every thing can help him learn who he can trust, and who he cannot, who are his allies—and who are his enemies.

Yoongi stood by his palace’s entrance, accompanied with his guards and greeted his special guests, one by one as they walked up his home’s grand steps. He makes sure to take notes on each and every person’s facial expression, their appearance, chosen attire, and the certain way they walk up to him.

Anything could benefit him into knowing them. Their wealth and clan can be identified based on their specific appearance and choice of clothing. Their facial expressions help him learn what their true feelings and intentions are towards him that are hidden by their fake smiles and words. And lastly, the way they walk up to him can help him know the type of personality they have, whether that be obedient and innocent, or arrogant and untrustworthy.

The way he learns about his guests have never failed him. That was, until he met you.

Yoongi would be lying if he said he wasn’t astonished when his eyes laid on you for the first time. There were many things that left him utterly speechless when meeting you. For one, when his advisor told him that his guest would be bringing his wife, he was expecting a woman—not a man.

Another thing that left Yoongi speechless was your appearance, mostly your attire. You were dressed in feminine-like clothing, silk robes that were decorated with gold jewelry instead of fine material clothing with armor plating like what many men of royalty wear. And you also didn’t hold a blade like most men do too. Instead, you held a simple wooden decorative fan.

And lastly, your eyes.

Yoongi has a remarkable judge of character. Maybe not as good when it came to you, but still adequate. On the outside, your eyes were shining with gentleness and a kind greeting. But he could tell there was something else hidden behind them—something that left him intrigued by you.

You had an agenda—plans, and Yoongi was determined to find out what they are.

The welcoming feast was extremely dull.

Yoongi absorbed gallons of wine into his system, hoping that would help numb his mind and get through the rest of the evening without having to tear somebody’s head off from their body.

And apparently you thought the same as he did. Across the table, Yoongi watched as you fanned yourself out of boredom while everyone else were socializing with one another, an unamused facial expression shown on your face. Yoongi couldn’t help but chuckle behind his glass when seeing one of the other wives say something to you and you flashed her a quick smile before dropping it back down into a straight line.

It seems his attention on you didn’t go unnotice because next thing he knew, your eyes were now on him. Yoongi was expecting hints of disgust or uncomfort from you, but instead he was met with sly smirk and a raised brow.

Yoongi watches intently as you leaned over and whispered into your husband’s ear. Your husband—Kim Taehyung then stood up from his seat and bowed his head, “Excuse me, your Majesty.”

Yoongi turned his head towards your husband, diverting his attention completely away from you.

“My wife is not feeling well at the moment, so with your permission, would it be alright if he can take his leave from the feast early?”

The entire dining hall fell silent, shocked expressions plastered on everyone’s faces at the table.

Nobody has ever dared to leave one of Min Yoongi’s feasts before. Who would want to, right? It’s considered a great honor for one self and their kingdom to be invited by the Emperor himself to attend one of his events.

Whispers began to spread amongst the guests.

“How shameless is Kim Taehyung’s wife?”

“Wanting to leave the Emperor’s feast early? Utterly shameless I tell you.”

“That Taehyung needs to discipline his wife.”

“Doesn’t he know how important his Majesty’s events are? And he wants to leave just because he isn’t feeling well? Unbelievable.”

“He needs to learn some manners—”

Anxiety swept across Taehyung’s face when hearing the gossips coming from the other royals, eyes wide and mouth gaped open with panic. “Forgive me, your Majesty, I never intended to—”

With just the clear of his throat, everybody fell silent once again and all eyes were now on him. Yoongi’s gaze would shift between you and your husband, curiosity filling his veins when noticing that there wasn’t any signs of illness presently visible on you. You weren’t trembling, your eyes weren’t red and skin wasn’t showing any signs of flushness. You looked fine.

That only caused more questions to form in Yoongi’s mind. Like, what do you exactly want, and what is your reason for being here? Because according to his advisor, you weren’t even part of the guest list until today. That only raised even more suspicions he had towards you.

And it’s not like he can just throw you out—actually, he can. It’s just that he doesn’t want to because now he’s curious, and he wants to see how things turn out.

“He can go,” Yoongi says a brief silence, immediately noticing the small smile creeping onto your lips. “But take him to see the physician and let him check him out,” and then it dropped.

“N-No, your Majesty,” you spoke up, lips parted. “You don’t have to do that—”

“You’re feeling unwell, right?” Yoongi then asks, smirking at the silence he got in reply. “Well, you should let my physician diagnose you then. Don’t worry though, you’re in great hands.”

One of his guards that stood by his side approached you and started to guide you to the physician’s office. And while you were leaving, Yoongi could see the glare coming from you and aimed right at him.

If you wanted to play games with him, he’ll play.

Wandering through the palace halls at night was something Yoongi usually does whenever he can’t sleep.

And apparently you had the same tendency too.

While mindlessly strolling through his palace’s hallways, Yoongi’s eyes suddenly landed on your approaching figure, the first thing catching his attention was your choice of clothing. You were dressed in golden inner robes, your sleep-wear, and the material was so thin and transparent that every feature about you was visible to him. The sight of your clear, smooth skin and every curve of your body and muscles made his mouth water. It was like you were purposely dressed like that to seduce him.

Another thing that caught his eye was the small, slightly torn grayish book that was in your grasp, which was where your complete attention was on because you still haven’t noticed his presence despite the two of you walking towards the other.

“Hello, your Highness,” you jumped out of fear, eyes wide and closing your book when your gaze landed on him. “May I ask why you are wandering around my palace this late at night?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” you simply answered, fingers tight around the cover the book, which only made Yoongi even more curious as to what you were exactly reading. “And it seems you are having the same problem as well, am I correct?”

Yoongi only hummed in reply, taking another small step towards you until you two now stood only inchest apart, him towering over you and staring down right at you. “Is there something wrong with your chambers? I can tell my servants to move you and your husband into a more comfortable place for you—”

“No no, your Majesty,” you were quick to interject. “Everything is perfect. It’s just that I’ve always had trouble sleeping at another royal’s residence, that’s all.”

Yoongi couldn’t help but find your reason funny, because he has always had trouble sleeping when there were other people staying in his palace.

A brief silence came between you two before Yoongi spoke up once again, “I’ll be taking a quick walk around my garden, you can accompany me if you like.” He didn’t wait for your reply before leaving, but when hearing the sound of your footsteps behind him right after, a smirk grew on his lips.

“You know, you never really introduced yourself when we first met,” Yoongi then brought up while the two of you made your way to the gardens.

“Forgive me, your Majesty,” you bowed your head apologetically before replying, “My name is ___, Kim ___.”

“It’s a great pleasure to meet you, Kim ___,” Yoongi reached down and took your hand into his, pressing a soft, yet tender kiss on the back of your palm, smirking at the evident blush forming on your cheeks. “And I’ve got to say, you are looking quite well for someone that claimed to be feeling sick not even three hours ago,” and that is when your smile dropped.

“Must’ve been my anxiety,” you were quick to reply back, your eyes never leaving his. “After all, I am staying at the Emperor’s palace for the first time.”

Yoongi was impressed honestly, he had to admit. For everything he had to say against you, you had something say right back at him. There isn’t a lot of people who have that type of skill to think of words—believeable words right on the spot. Anybody would believe what you were saying—too bad he isn’t just anybody.

“Must be...,” Yoongi just says, eyeing you slightly. His gaze then shifted onto the book in your hand. “What are you reading there?”

“Oh this,” you held the book up, “It’s called Flowers of the Region—a guide to every type of flower that is grown and can be found in both the South and the North. It’s my favorite book.”

“Well, that’s fortunate,” Yoongi points out, “you like flowers, and we so happen to be going to my garden. What’s your favorite flower?”

“Lily of the Valley,” you answer with a smile. “Have you heard of it?”

“I have,” Yoongi replied, his interest towards you growing even more. Lily of the Valley, despite the beautiful features of the white flower, it is proven to be quite deadly when digested. “They are only found on top of the Southern mountains—but lucky for you, I happen to grow them right here in my garden.”

Your smile grew even wider. “That’s great.”

The rest of the walk to the gardens was in silence with you trailing forward while Yoongi stood back. And with your eyes focused on the path in front of you, Yoongi couldn’t help but send glances at you every once in a while, his eyes burning into your back, admiring at the clear view your smooth skin through the thin, transparent material of your inner robes.

He surely needs to give whoever crafted your sleepwear a raise—and a big one too.

When the two of you finally got to the gardens, you were left instantly speechless at the sight of the many plots of different flowers, ranging from beautiful, vibrant ones that were quite common to dark, mysterious ones that you’ve never even seen before.

Yoongi couldn’t deny how adorable you looked though when seeing his garden for the first time, eyes wide, shining with admiration and your mouth gaped open.

“This is beautiful,” you gasped, leaning down and running your fingers delicately over some flowers.

“Thank you,” Yoongi stood beside you, “I make sure my gardeners take good care of this place.”

Silenced filled the atmosphere as Yoongi stood back and silently watched you admiring the many flowers. Normally he’d be annoyed for someone touching his property, but for some odd reason when it came to you he didn’t mind so much. Perhaps it’s because this might be the only way for him to get close to you and learn about your true intentions—or maybe he just really wants to fuck you.

Yoongi found himself once again staring at you, watching as you bent over to get a closer look at one of the flowers, giving him a perfect view of your ass and hips, both in which he wants to grab and caress with his large hands.

“So,” Yoongi spoke up after some silence, “how exactly did you become the new Lady Kim?”

Yoongi instantly noticed the way your body tensed from his question. “I was his Highness’s personal servant. When his wife suddenly passed away, he was a complete mess and I was the only one that stayed by his side through the entire mourning process. I was the one that comforted him whenever he was feeling down, I made sure he was taking care of himself and helped him with his royal duties.”

Yoongi then noticed your shoulder slumping. “After about a month or so, he started seeking me for a...different kind of comfort.” Sex. “Soon later he decided to make his new wife—the new Lady Kim.”

“You don’t seem so happy about the change in position,” Yoongi commented, “I’m sure this is much better than being a simple servant. You’re a royal now.”

“Oh, I am,” you quickly corrected him, “But being a man and having a feminine title can sometimes make things complicated.”

“Well then, don’t make them complicated.” Yoongi suggested, “You’re not a servant anymore, you’re a royal. They may not respect you now, but you have the power to make them do so.”

“Don’t worry, I know,” you told him sternly. “They’ll learn to respect me. Whether that be the hard way or the easy way—it’s their choice. So you better watch out, your Majesty, or something bad might happen to you,” you laughed softly.

Yoongi released a forceful chuckle, eyes briefly squinting at you suspiciously. It may have sound like a harmless joke, but to him, he could hear the small hints of truth behind them. “Oh trust me, I will. I wouldn’t want you as an enemy.”

“And you as well,” you replied, eyeing him back.

Silence came between you two again, Yoongi leaving you to inspect his garden in peace while he stood back and watched you. It wasn’t until an hour has passed you spoke up again, yawning, “we should head back to bed, your Majesty. We have that conference in the morning with the other royals and we need the energy.”

“You’re right,” Yoongi agreed, nodding and stepping aside so that you could walk ahead of him and back inside the place with him following right beside you. “Let me walk you back to your room.”

You didn’t say anything, only held your head low to hide the small grin on your face as the both of you made your back to the chambers. And as you two got closer to your destination, you both were froze at the sound of moaning.

Yoongi was confused at first as who it could be, but when turning to you and seeing the hardened expression on your face, he knew.

“O-Oh, Taehyung—f-faster, please!”

Yoongi was speechless. He knew many royals took on concubines while being married, but he didn’t know someone could so shameless as to bringing them to another person’s residence alongside their spouse. “Your Highness—”

“Don’t bother, your Majesty,” you spoke calmly, eyes hard and emotionless. “I’m use to it by now and it doesn’t really bother me anymore.��

“Really, it doesn’t?”

You shook your head. “At first it did, but after sleeping with my husband so many times I have learned that the only person he cares to satisfy is himself.”

Yoongi couldn’t help but chuckle. What kind of husband doesn’t have the desire to satisfy is own wife? Maybe he should take you to his chambers and show you exactly what you’re missing. “Well, I-I’m still sorry for you.”

You simply shrugged your shoulders, “it doesn’t matter, your Majesty. Have a good night.”

Yoongi watched as you then opened the door went inside the chamber, causing your husband and the woman to stop and look at you with wide eyes.

“Don’t mind me,” you said to them, not even bothering to glance at them, shocking Yoongi. “I’ll be on the balcony reading my book. Just let me when you two are done.”

Taehyung’s attention instantly went back to the woman that was straddling his lap when hearing your words, hands kneading her breasts and hips and started thrusting back up into her, causing moans to erupt from both of them. Yoongi didn’t why, but the sight of them made his blood boil.

Maybe he should go in there and fuck you in front of your husband? That’ll show him what he is missing out.

Yoongi continued to watch through the crack in the door as you walked past the couple and went onto the balcony. And once you were out of his sight, that’s when he finally got a clear view of the woman on your husband’s lap, and he instantly recognized her. She was one of the servants that accompanied you and Taehyung here. Yoongi distinctly remembered seeing her earlier today, serving you tea after you got back from seeing the physician.

Yoongi glared at the couple, scoffing at the sight. What did that Kim Taehyung see in that whore of a servant that you don’t have?

You are far more enticing than she is.

Taking one last glance at the shameless couple, Yoongi retreated back to his chambers. And while he did so, his mind suddenly went back to you. How did someone so...unique end up with a man like Kim Taehyung? He’s a weak person, a shame to royal blood. You deserve to be with someone with real power, someone who would never leave you unsatisfied, both physically and emotionally. Someone like me.

Yoongi could feel himself harden just from the thought of you.

Damn you for having this type of power over me, his mind cursed. Yoongi has slept with countless of other royals before, both men and women, and he has never encountered someone like you.

You are truly something else.

“Damn,” Yoongi mumbled out to nobody in particular, palming himself through his robes. “How the hell am I going to get rid of this?”

And right on queue, a young servant boy just happened to be walking right by Yoongi when the question ran through his head.

“Stop,” was all he said, making the servant boy freeze in his place.

“Y-Yes, your Majesty?”

Yoongi took slow, intimidating steps towards him until he was towering over him, using his hands to cup his chin and forcing the servant boy to meet his eyes. “How would you feel having the honor of spending the night with your Emperor?”

The servant boy couldn’t stop the small smile from forcing on his face. “I-I would love that, your Majesty.”

That was Yoongi needed to hear before leaning down capturing the servant’s boys lips with his, hands moving to his thighs and hoisting him up in his arms and carrying him into his chambers, lips never separating.

“You’re a eager one, are you?” Yoongi chuckled against the servant boy’s mouth, moving his lips down his neck and forcing a whimpering moan from him.

“I-It’s my duty to serve y-you, your Majesty.”

That brought a smile on Yoongi’s lips.

Yoongi couldn’t find you anywhere the next day.

He couldn’t find at you breakfast, he couldn’t find you during the conference with the other royals and their wives, and he couldn’t find you at lunch. Now as dinner was approaching, there still wasn’t any sign of you anywhere.

But he had no problem finding your husband. Wherever he saw Taehyung, he saw that whore of a servant trailing behind him like a pet—but you no where to be seen.

Yoongi thought about approaching him to ask about your whereabouts, but he couldn’t help but think of the consequences that would happen afterwards. But that still didn’t stop him from sending glares at the younger royal and the servant every now and then, which didn’t go unnotice by either of them.

“Is there something wrong, your Majesty,” Taehyung finally asks, breaking the tensed silence between the two of them. “You’ve been staring at me all day today and haven’t said a single word.”

“Oh nothing,” Yoongi simply replies, eyes still trained on him while twirling his glass of wine. “Just wondering where your wife is at right now, since everyone else is here. Is he still not feeling well from last night?”

For a very very brief moment, Yoongi could see panic glinting in his eyes before answering, “o-oh yes, your Majesty, he told me that he’s still feeling unwell so I allowed him stay back in the room.”

Liar, was Yoongi’s first thought, eyes glaring even more at the long, black-haired royal.

Everyone at the table could feel the tension between their Emperor and the young royal, and still no one chose to speak up about it.

Yoongi had a reputation. He is the first ever Emperor to achieve the throne through combat rather than family bloodline—and he is also the youngest ruler to ever be placed higher than a simple king. But that weren’t the only things he was known for. He was also generally known for being intelligent and quite reserved, and cruel if absolutely necessary, and also able to hold a grudge. It may sound simple, but everybody knew that if their Emperor had something against you, your days were limited.

So that’s why nobody chose to speak up when seeing the menancing glares their Emperor were sending at the youngest and only surviving Kim. Because they knew if they intervened, they’d only anger him and get on his list, and that’s the exact opposite of what they want to do.

“Your Majesty,” his advisor suddenly whispered right beside him. “I think it would be a good idea to continue the meeting. Some of your guests has some things to say about the...improvements you’re doing to the North.”

Yoongi clenched his jaw, eyes scanning over Taehyung once more before turning his attention to the other royals. “Sure,” he then says, “which one of you want to speak first?”

Not even a second later, Park Jimin, ruler of the Park Kingdom stood up from his seat and spoke. “Your Majesty, my council and I believe that the border that you have placed around my region is completely unnecessary.”

“How so?” Yoongi asks, leaning back against his chair with an amused look on his face. He had to admit that he was impressed that the blonde man was the first to speak up. He may not be the youngest royal out of everyone, but he certainly is the one with the least experience when it came politics.

“For starters your border cuts right through my kingdom’s river, slicing our water supply in half,” he starts, voice slightly raising. “And the amount of wood you required for the construction of the wall resulted in about ninety percent of the forests in my region to be completely cut down, forcing most of my workers into unemployment.”

Yoongi continued to listen closely with his hands laced together and resting on top of his chest, rocking back and forth in his chair with an intent glint in his eyes.

“I also find it completely unfair how your border only crosses over my kingdom but no one else’s.” Jimin continued to rant, jamming his finger repeatedly angerly against the table while keeping his eye contact with him. “I think it’s not for protection like you have claimed many of times, but as a prison, to keep my people in check. You’re nothing but a—”

Yoongi slammed his hand heavily onto the table, instantly silencing the young royal and causing everyone to gulp nervously. He may at times find it amusing when someone fights back, but he will never allow anyone to talk down against him, not in his own residence.

“You think I built that wall as a prison?” Yoongi asks, chuckling when the blonde man didn’t reply. “Are you forgetting what happened before I built that wall? Spies from the South would come right into our territories and would gather information on us, murder our people in their sleep—that’s how your parents died, am I correct? Some spy that sneaked into their palace assassinated them when they were asleep? It would such a shame if the same thing happens to you—after I take down the wall, of course.”

Yoongi smirked when noticing the seeing Jimin’s jaw clenching and hands angrily balling into fists. “So don’t you ever accuse me again? Because everything I do is for the best of my people, not just yours. The wall is only bordering your land because your land is the only one that connects with the South.”

Jimin’s head hung low, hands unclenching and lips dropping into the frown.

“So before you come at me, you should make sure that you have all the information, do you understand me?” Jimin nodded and sat down.

Everybody tensed when Yoongi then stood up from his seat and slowly, intimidatingly made his way to Jimin’s chair. And when placing his hands on the younger man’s shoulders, Yoongi couldn’t help but chuckle when feeling him jump slightly underneath his touch. “Normally I’d kill anyone who spoke to me that way,” leaning down, he whispered into Jimin’s ear, sending chills along his pale skin, “but I’ll let it slide for once since you’re new to this whole thing.”

“T-Thank you, your Majesty.”

With one last pat on the shaking man’s shoulder, Yoongi pulled away, and he was standing straight again, his eyes suddenly fell on your figure who stood near the entrance of the conference hall. But you weren’t alone, no, three servants that he couldn’t recognize was with you. The four of you seemed to be in a deep conversation, and with everybody focused on him, nobody noticed you.

Yoongi’s eyes slightly squinted out of suspicion when seeing you then bow your head at the three servants, a smile on your face before each of you went your separate ways.

Yoongi is definitely going to look into that.

“Now,” returning his attention back to his guests, Yoongi leaned himself against the table, keeping close to the blonde man that was still trembling. “Does anyone else have anything to say to me?”

“N-No no, your Majesty,” Jung Hoseok, another royal spoke up, gulping anxiously as he tightened his hand around his wife’s who sat beside him. “We have no complaints whatsoever, you’re doing an amazing job—the perfect ruler.”

Kiss ass, Yoongi rolled his eyes, pushing himself away from the table. He then shifted his attention towards your husband and asks, “what about you, your Highness? Anything to say?”

Taehyung shook his head. “No, your Majesty.”

“What a bunch spineless people,” Yoongi’s mind scoffed, and he couldn’t agree more.

His advisor then rose from his chair and spoke up, “okay everyone, thank you all for attending his Majesty’s annual end of conference feast this year. You may all now return to your rooms and get some rest before heading back to your own residences in the morning.”

Yoongi stayed back and bid farewell to everyone, and once everyone was gone he left the conference hall with only one thing on his mind—you. He was determined to find out what exactly were you and those three servants were discussing about. Yoongi was so rapt on you that he didn’t even hear his advisor calling out of him to come back.

He practically jogged to the chambers hall, heading straight to your room and when he got there, just as he was about barge right through the door he was then stopped by a sudden sound. Moans could be heard on the other side of the door—female moans. Yoongi’s hands were already hovering over the door handle before he opened it slightly to where there was only a crack, giving him the view of seeing your husband with same servant girl from the night before.

Yoongi watches as she claws his back, legs wrapped tightly around his waist as he place open mouth kisses along her bare chest and thrusted deep into her, causing loud, pleasurable moans to erupt from both of their mouths.

“T-Tae,” the young servant girl gasped, hands running up and down his sweaty back and fingers digging into his marked, glistening skin. “I’m close.”

“Me too, love,” he groaned back, leaning down and capturing her lips into a passionate kiss. “Together, okay...?”

Utterly shameless, Yoongi shook his head and pushed away from the door with disgust. Just as he was about to continue searching for you, he froze at the sound a voice behind him—a female voice.

“Are you looking for Lady Kim, your Majesty?”

Yoongi turned around and was greeted by one of your servants, hands laced together and hanging in front of her with a wide smile on her face. “No, I’m not,” he quickly replied, shaking his head. He expected her to just nod her head and leave, but instead she released a small chuckle and turned around, saying in a soft tone, “follow me.”

Yoongi was hesitant, eyes burning suspiciously into the servant girl’s back as she began to walk away. But he soon decided to follow her despite the constant warnings that were running through his head at the moment.

The servant’s gaze was trained on the path in front of her, not even bothering to acknowledge the glare she was receiving by platinum-haired man that was trailing right behind her.

The warnings that were consuming Yoongi’s head started to get louder as he continued to follow her deeper into his residence, parts of his home that he hasn’t even been in.

Yoongi stopped in his place when the servant led him to a room with dark, double doors. “What is this,” he asks with a cold expression, causing the young girl to chuckle and open the door without saying a word to him. He was about to question her even more but when he got to see what was behind the door, leaving him speechless.

Standing right in front him was you, along with over a dozen guards and servants that were from many different kingdoms. Some of the guards and servants were part of the Park Kingdom, some were from the Jung Kingdom, and others were from your own home.

“What’s going on here?” Yoongi asks, his eyes glancing across the many different pairs that were staring right back at him.

“They work for me,” came out of your mouth. “We are all part of movement that believes that the North needs a change in leadership—which is you. You’re the only that deserves to rule the North, not these cowards.”

Yoongi was speechless. For once in his life he didn’t know to say. For the first time he wasn’t the one that was planning in the shadows, plotting against somebody—but instead it was people who he has never even met before. “Why,” was the only thing that came out of his mouth.

“Because war is coming your Majesty,” you stepped towards him to where you stood only inches away from his face, staring up to meet his eyes. “My agents told me that the South is planning an invasion into our territory, and the way the other kingdoms are ruling their land—we won’t survive this war. You are the only one that is capable of leading us to victory.”

Yoongi turned towards your followers. “Do you all agree with him?”

“Yes, your Majesty,” one of the guards spoke up. Each and every person then stepped forward and began to speak loudly on their opinions of their leaders.

“Park Jimin is too young to be King—he doesn’t know how to rule.”

“He can’t even hold a sword properly.”

“Jung Hoseok is a spineless man!”

“Damn right he is! The moment the South comes barging intl his palace, he’ll do whatever it takes to save his own skin and not his people.”

“Kim Taehyung is shameless bastard who would rather spend his time fucking his servants than leading his own Kingdom.”

Yoongi could see you snicker at that comment.

“He spends our taxes buying whores instead of using it to improve our home.”

“None of them belong on the throne!”

“They are right, your Majesty,” you stared at him with a small smirk on your lips. “Out of everyone, you’re the only that deserves to rule us. You are the one who will lead us to glory.”

Yoongi stared down at you with such desire. He may have found you attractive before, but now he couldn’t help but find you utterly irresistible. “So this isn’t just some power trip? Doing all this just to get to the top?”

Yoongi had his suspicions already about the war. He has heard from his own agents that the South were planning on some sort of invasion, but there wasn’t any evidence that confirmed that. So sadly he hasn’t been able to do any preparations—at least, none without the other royals knowledge of it.

You shook your head. “I don’t care about power, your Majesty—only survival, and you’re the best way to achieve that.”

“I see,” Yoongi reached up and stroked his chin, “how would you all do this anyway? Kill the rulers of each Kingdom can be tricky, and what about their heirs?”

“It’s quite easy,” you answered with a small grin. “They all have their jobs,” you nodded at your followers, “once they are home and unguarded, that is when they’ll strike. And as for their heirs, well, that’s not really a problem.”

Yoongi raised a brow. “Jung Hoseok’s wife is unable to bare a child, and he also doesn’t have any younger siblings to take over. So once he passes, rulership of his Kingdom immediately goes over to you. Same goes for my husband and Park Jimin.”

“I see,” Yoongi hums, biting inside of his cheek. “So what’s my job then?”

You smirk. “The only thing you have to do is have your succession speech ready, your Majesty.”

“But I have another problem,” Yoongi added. “Many people already disagree with our war with the South. How will we manage to persuade them that this is necessary? It’ll be difficult since three of the four leaders of the North are dead.”

“Trust me, your Majesty,” you spoke with such clarity and a smile on your face. “Everything is planned out and you don’t have to worry.”

Yoongi didn’t replay, eyes briefly glancing at the people that surrounded him. You must’ve noticed his still cautious state because next thing he knew you were signaling everybody out, telling them to “get some rest and prepare for your departure in the morning.”

“Why are you doing this exactly?” Yoongi asks the moment you two were alone in the room. “Because there is no damn way you’re doing this just for survival. I mean,” he suddenly chuckles, “you are giving complete control of the North. What is your angle here? Are you going to kill me after all this is so that you become Emperor?” Yoongi was starting to get frustrated. He has never had trouble understanding someone before until he met you. And now because of you, his mind was a complete mess.

“That’s not my intention at all, your Majesty,” smiling up at him, you placed your hand on his shoulder, smirking at the feeling of him tensing underneath your fingertips. “All I want is for the North, my home—your home to finally come out of its shadow that it has been forced to hide in for centuries.”

“And you think I’m the one that can do that?”

“Yes,” you nod, fingers dancing across his chest. “I’ve read records of previous Emperors and you’re the only that deserves that title. Unlike the other ones, you are resilient, intelligent, ruthless if necessary, and you even fight alongside your men which no other Emperor has done before.”

As each compliment came out of your mouth, Yoongi couldn’t help but feel himself starting to get hard underneath his lower robes, and you running your hands seductively over his chest definitely wasn’t helping.

“How should I repay you for your kindness then,” Yoongi found himself melting against your touch, his hands finding their way into your waist. “Because someone like you definitely deserves an reward for their loyalty.” Yoongi then turns you around in one quick motion, causing you to gasp at the sudden action and feeling his strong chest pressed up against your back and lips brushing against your ear.

A tiny moan escaped from your lips when feeling his hard length suddenly rub against your ass, you yourself starting to get hard as well. “Should I buy you plenty of jewelry, or maybe a large palace just for you?” Yoongi then pushed you up against the wall, smirking at the small gasp that came from you. “Or perhaps,” another moan came out of your mouth when one of his hands slipped underneath your robes and caressed the soft flesh of your behind, “make you wife?”

Yoongi chuckled when feeling shiver against him. “Yeah, you would like that, huh? Being my wife, an Empress, ruling right beside me?”

“Y-Yes, your Majesty,” you stuttered out, tilting your head back from the sensation, giving Yoongi the opportunity to lean down and leaving wet, tender kisses along your neck and bare shoulder, leaving dark bruises that’ll be near impossible to cover up tomorrow morning.

“Good,” Yoongi left another mark on your skin, dragging his finger across your ass, teasing your clenching hole with his fingertip. “Then how about we—secure our deal, then? And when you nodded, that was all Yoongi needed before turning you around to face him and crashing his lips down forcefully onto yours. The kiss was rough, yet tender and filled with lust. With your hands around his neck, Yoongi’s slid down to your thighs and hoisted you up into his arms, deepening the kiss with his lips moving in perfect sync against yours.

The kiss was like a drug that neither of you couldn’t get enough of.

“Please, your Majesty,” you whimpered against his lips, which made Yoongi want you even more than he already did. “Can you please h-hurry?”

Yoongi smirked against your lips, pulling away. “Don’t worry, my love, just be patient.”

It was quite ironic though, because Yoongi was everything but patient when it came to you. He couldn’t wait any longer. Instead of carrying you all the way to his chamber, he laid you on the closest flat surface which happened to be a table and tore your robes completely off of you, leaving you bare and them in ruins.

Yoongi decided to take his sweet time with you, dragging his lips across your ankles, up your legs to your meaty thighs. He then began to leave open mouth kisses over your abdomen and up your chest, teasing your nipples with his tongue and grazing the wet muscle over your collarbone. Yoongi continued his assault on your body until he reached back up your lips, capturing them this time into a soft, passionate kiss which you gladly returned without a second thought, hands sliding up to his shoulders and helping him strip from his own robes, revealing his pale and toned body.

Your mouth watered at the sight of him, eyeing his define muscles, the way his abs clenched as he climbed onto the table and hovered over you, and the way his biceps bulged as he held himself above you. “Y-Your Majesty—”

“Yoongi,” he cut you off, pulling away and moving his lips to your throat. “Call me, Yoongi, my love.”

“Y-Yoongi,” you tried out, heart warming in both of your chests once hearing his name come out of your mouth. It sounded right coming from you. “Please—”

“Don’t worry, my love,” Yoongi reassured you, moving his lips back up to yours. “I’m here, I’m here. Let me show you how it feels to be loved by a real man, yeah?”

The night was then soon filled with nothing but the sound your combined moans, skin slapping and the shared whispers of sweet words between one another.

This was the start of something new.

“T-Taehyung, faster, faster please!”

The sound of the woman’s moans and the bed’s headboard banging against the connecting wall to your room made your blood boil. Your hands clenched into fists and teeth biting angrily down onto your lips.

“Be patient, my love,” you could hear your husband say through the thin wall, making the rage that flowed through your veins grow more. “Let me cherish you, beautiful...”

“Your Highness,” the sound of a man’s voice tore you out of your thoughts, “I’ve done what you’ve asked me to do.”

“Everything’s prepared and ready?”

The guard nodded his head once you turned around, “yes, your Highness. The only people remaining in the palace are your loyal followers. Everyone else has been sent home.”

“Good,” only came out of your mouth before leaving your chambers with the guard following closely behind you. You walked over next door and didn’t bother knocking before barging right in, your husband and the girl instantly jumping to cover themselves with the thin bedsheets.

“What the fuck?!” Taehyung curses loudly, staring at you with wide eyes and wrapping his arms around the girl’s waist, pulling her close. “What are you doing here? I told already you that I’m staying here tonight.”

“I know,” you replied with not even a single ounce of emotion heard in your voice.

Taehyung’s eyes then shifted towards the guard that stood beside you. “What’s going on here?”

You didn’t say anything, only smiled, and that caused fear to form in the pit of Taehyung’s gut. With just the simple nod of your head, the guard walked over to the servant girl and snatched her by her hair, tearing her away from his grasp and yanking her off the bed and onto the ground.

“Stop—” Taehyung tried to reach for her but stopped when the guard pulled out a dagger and held the sharp blade against her neck, tears shining in her eyes. He then turned towards you, eyes glistening as well, “why are you doing this?”

“Change,” was all you said before nodding your head again, giving the guard the order to slide his blade across the girl’s throat, killing her instantly and letting her limp body collapse into the ground.

“N-No no,” Taehyung didn’t hesitate this time to jump out of the bed, despite being completely nude and taking her now lifeless body into his arms, blood staining the ground and his skin, and tears spilling uncontrollably from his eyes. “She was pregnant...”

“Oh well.”

Taehyung’s head shot up from your heartless comment, his teary eyes shining with a newfound rage. Before he had the chance to say anything the guard approached him from behind and wrapped his arms tightly around his neck. He immediately began clawing at his arms, trying to gasp for air that was becoming harder and harder to obtain, eyes bright red and nearly bulging out, tears slipping from them and sliding down his cheeks.

The last thing he saw before he took his last breath and eyes slowly closed was you standing in front of him with a sinister grin on your lips.

“Your Majesty.”

Yoongi glanced up from his book to see his personal advisor standing right in front of him by his library’s entrance. He hummed in reply, signaling for the young man to continue. We’ve gotten word from Lady Kim—” Yoongi glared at him, causing his advisor to pause and correct his words, “—I mean, ____’s agents that they have completed their duties.”

“They have?” Yoongi asked with a raised brow. He knew you were more than capable of doing this, but he thought something this major would take at least a week to accomplish. He didn’t expect to hear about any success a day later.

“Yes, your Majesty,” his advisor nodded. “The Jung palace is flames at this moment and there is word that Jung Hoseok himself and his wife were in their chambers when the fire happened. And as for Park Jimin, he was found murdered in his bed with a dagger in his chest. Some say it was one of his concubines that done it.”

“What about Kim Taehyung?” Yoongi found himself asking, his mind instantly thinking of you. “Was ___ successful?”

“Yes, your Majesty he was,” his advisor answered. “I was informed about Kim Taehyung’s death by ___ himself.”

Yoongi couldn’t stop the smile forming on his lips. “Good.”

“Would you like to start writing your succession speech now, your Majesty?”

“Yes,” Yoongi answered. “We’ll have the succession conference next week, and make sure every minor clan leader comes so that they know who is in charge now.”

“Yes, your Majesty,” his advisor nodded his head, and before leaving he turned back and said to him in a teasing tone, “oh, and someone is here to see you.”

Yoongi was about to ask him who it was, but he stopped himself when his eyes suddenly landed on you standing in his library’s entrance, his heart stopping in his chest at the sight of you. “H-Hey,” he stuttered out, cringing at the sound of himself. In all his years of living, nobody has ever had this type of power over him—but he wasn’t complaining either.

“Hello, your Majesty,” your reply sent tingles all over his body—and he loved it.

There was nothing but silence afterwards between you two because there wasn’t any need for words. The only thing you two needed to express the feelings you have for each other was your eyes—the passion, the lust, the want that shined in them.

This is just the beginning for you two.

would you guys like to see a drabble series of these two in the future maybe? emperor yoongi and his male wife.

TAGLIST:

@ben-c0c, @sombreboy, @theclawofsa, @joongtoons, @xavi-in-kpopland, @ephemeralkookie, @yoshiure, @illbeyournightmare, @sonderkook, @spaceisbigger, @catboygyu, @justqueerandhereforthetea, @xxminilah​

#bonnyskies #bts #bts angst #bts one shot #bts x reader #bts x male reader #min yoongi #min yoongi angst #min yoongi one shot #min yoongi x reader #min yoongi x male reader #yoongi #yoongi angst #yoongi one shot #yoongi x reader #yoongi x male reader #bts imagines #min yoongi imagines #yoongi imagines

[ecoamerica]

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

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[shushiyuii]

Atlantic Runaways (Part 1)

I’m feeling a bit unmotivated today and sicky, ill do as much as i can today so in case i can’t upload much take this fic i made a while ago.

Also future parts of this au will contain noms! So just be aware of that!

Warnings: Mistreatment (Take this warning seriously please)

Words: 1.8k

When Wilbur was a young Mer, he enjoyed swimming around in the open waters, living with his pod and learning new things. But that wasn’t easy nowadays living within a cramped tank, especially being forced to perform. He was captured several years ago now, he was a full adult now, being raised in what he could barely call his home.

So many people mistreated him here, not to mention the lack of food, he was almost always starving but over the years you get used to that sort of thing, all that matters really is if you do well during your performances you get more food, and he hates it here. He really hates these humans, they’re pitiful.

He hates the crowds and how they applause after doing a single flip, his trainer seems to agree on that. He always scowls whenever he hears those cheers, but it wasn’t like he’s on Wilbur’s good side, he was just as bad as the people who watched his suffering.

He was one of the ones who caused his suffering. Treating as if he were any less than him, paying no kindness or compassion, the lack of food, if he performed one-trick incorrectly, he would not get any dinner, he hated this place.

Back in the ocean, things were so much easier, so much more space, freedom, family and everything. Now he sat at the bottom of the tank, his cave barely fitting half of his body, his hunger craved food, sometimes he even thought of eating humans but if he wanted any chance of escape, it would probably be best not to do so.

He sighed; he couldn’t even see the stars anymore as he was moved to indoors, only going outside for outdoor performances. It just led to even less space, this place for Wilbur was hell, they didn’t even know he resembled a human, being sentient and able to speak.

Meanwhile, with TommyInnit, he was having the best moments of his life. He had recently finished a course on Marine biology and was now on his to becoming an intern for L’manburgs most famous water park!

He would be able to work with sea creatures! He could study them, communicate and understand them! He had applied for the position a while ago and well got accepted!

“Dear Tommy Danger Kraken Innit,

We are happy to announce that you are now a part of the team! Welcome to L’manburg Water Park! With your help, we’ll rescue all sorts of sea creatures, learn new things about them and even perform with them! We hope you’re as excited as we are!

Please come to the park on Monday morning, once you arrive at the receptionist desk, state your name and we’ll show you around the park and how everything works! We hope to see you soon! – Staff”.

Tommy was so excited he yelled at the top of his lungs! Jumping with joy! He would finally accomplish his dream! He could work with sea animals! He was so excited to tell Tubbo! He immediately ran over to his phone to call him.

Once the phone picked up there was groaning on the other side, he had woken up Tubbo. “Pft, Did I wake you, Big man?”. He groaned in response to that, “What do you want, Toms?”. “Well~,” he said dragging out the ‘L’, “I’ve got big news, Big man! I got accepted for the internship!”.

Tubbo woke up at the fact, gasping in excitement “Really man?! Oh, that’s great! I’m so happy for you, man!”.  Tubbo exclaimed. “When do you start?”. “Next Monday, actually! I’m really looking forward to it!”.

The next couple of days went by quickly, and then Tommy’s alarm went off, he rushed downstairs and ate his breakfast as fast as possible. His dad was surprised with how excited he was, insisting that they go immediately, pushing him out the door, it was the most excited he’s seen Tommy in ages, it made him happy.

He soon arrived at the park, he tried to walk calmly towards the reception, but he practically sprinted towards the reception. Many people were lined up to visit the park, but he walked right past them, gaining multiple stares. The busy receptionist looked towards Tommy, smiled sweetly and asked, “How may I help you?”.

“Hey I’m Tommy! I’m here for the internship”. “OH! Of course!”. The receptionist got up from their desk and went towards a draw and pulled out a couple of things, some papers and a wet suit. “Here’s your suit! If the size needs adjustments, please let us know! Just head behind here” They gestured to some doors,

“Just head straight away and at the second turn, the third door to the left will take you to the office where our boss will speak to you!”. He smiled and thanked the receptionist.

He took the receptionist’s directions and knocked on the office door, “Come in!” said a voice on the other side. He entered and there sat a man who looked like he meant business, with his dark brown hair and horns. “I’m Schlatt, nice to meet ya’ Kid!”. He smiled; something seemed a little off about this man, but he seemed friendly enough.

He waved back, “Have a seat”. There the two conversed about the details, safety, rules and regulations of the job. He also had to sign some papers to make the job official but now he was officially an intern! And according to this one paper, he was going to be trained under a person by the name of $*&^£, and he was going to be working with a Mer named Wilbur.

From the details of Wilbur, he was quite the large Mer, being just about over 30 ft in length. He also had a record of being docile when being worked with but wasn’t the friendliest Mer but wasn’t the most dangerous either as he hasn’t had a track record of incidents.

When asked about it, they had said “Oh, Wilbur needs some experience, and every other trainer is currently really busy with their Mers, the only ones available were those two”.

Despite that fact, he was still excited! He was going to be working with a Mer and that was a rare opportunity! He got changed into the suit and went out into the training area. There sat the trainer, he looked shady with his hair and face unkempt, covered in dirt and the strange smell. He looked very strange, with the fact that he was also smoking a cigar which probably wasn’t allowed on the job.

“Ah, you must be the newbie.”. It sounded grumpy, like his face with a scowl but it immediately changed to a cheery and upbeat attitude. “Nice to meet you Kiddo! Name’s $%^&£ and I’m pretty sure you know how to work with Mer right?”. He nodded; he had taken a Marine Biology course.

“Good, I’ll show you the Mer you’ll be working with”. They walked towards the pool, despite Wilbur’s size, it looked quite small to fit a Mer as big as Wilbur. The man then dipped his hand into the water and made a couple of splashing movements. Tommy looked towards the water, and something worked within it. A chirp could be heard in response as water splashed as Wilbur surfaced.

“Wilbur, this is the newbie I told you about, be nice”. To which he left them to be alone, and by that, he left the room entirely. He was trusting a teenager with a dangerous creature, the thought of being alone with a Mer was exciting but all the scarier with how dangerous Mer could be.

After a brief moment of silence, the Mer made eye contact with Tommy, he looked to be scowling in somewhat disgust, not only that but unhappy. “Hey there! I’m Tommy!” he tried his best to smile but the look on Wilbur’s face somewhat scared him. The Mer made a low warning growl with his fins flared and dove back into the water, not even wanting to bother with Tommy.

Tommy stood still for a second in fear but a couple of minutes later nothing besides the stillness of the water, nothing had happened. It appeared Wilbur just went back to his den. He tried calling back Wilbur, but nothing worked. And this went on for days, Wilbur only coming out for training for his upcoming performance or food.

Tommy didn’t like the look of things, his excitement for working there slowly leaving him, every day was just hoping Wilbur would communicate with him, didn’t Mers tend to bond with humans?

 Wilbur found this new human that was around, very annoying. Every day the human would try to touch or talk to him, and he wanted nothing to do with it, every time he was called, he’d just ignore it. Why should he have to communicate with something that wasn’t necessary? He’s never known this human in his life and all humans were all the same, selfish.

 It was finally performance day; he would finally get to perform with Wilbur maybe it was a chance he could bond with him! That wasn’t how the day went, it was amazing! But he just sat around keeping watch on things, he just had to feed Wilbur the occasional treat as %&*£! Did all the work. He knew he couldn’t be too mad, but he thought it would be more exciting than this.

After the show, $%*£! seemed quite pissed off with how Wilbur performed today, but Wilbur did amazing! Why was he yelling at him? Was it not up to standard? But that wasn’t quite the case, £$%!$ smelt like alcohol and his words were slurred and movements clumsily made. Wilbur seemed to notice this himself and was quite pissed off himself.

“WHY CAN’T YOU JUST DO YOUR STUPID JOB YOU STUPID FISH!?”. He then slapped Wilbur in the face, Wilbur raised a claw to where he was hit but didn’t seem too affected by it. Wilbur growled in response, his face in a predatory look but he did not attempt to attack the man.

Tommy was shocked, to say the least, not only that but pissed off. Tommy always had an urge to protect, even those he wasn’t close to, but he’d still protect people who needed it.

“Hey! Who are you to hit him like that?! He didn’t do shit to you!” He yelled. £$%!* looked to Tommy with a face of pure rage, Tommy had badly pissed him off.

Wilbur dove back into the water as the two argued, it was a back-and-forth heated argument. Which eventually lead to the man trying to punch Tommy. Tommy evaded it but then he the man, made a different move, he pushed Tommy into the water.

Water filled Tommy’s lungs, the water dragging him into its depths, he tried swimming back upward but every try he couldn’t swim back up and he continued to sink. As he kept trying, a ‘swoosh’ sound filled his ears and the water moved. In his vision was Wilbur coming towards him as he lost conciseness.

#mcyt g/t #mcytg/t #dsmp g/t #tiny!tommy #giant!wilbur #tiny!schlatt #tiny!tubbo #Shushi's writings #Atlantic runaways au #mer!wilbur

[shinydelirium]

MLQC Season 2 Chapter 15 (Kiro’s Chapter) Part 4 [Double Courage] & [New Game] Translation [CN]

***SPOILERS*** DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE SPOILED!!! 

I decided to combine 2 parts into one post since 15-5 was short. Enjoy~

For the previous translation of Chapter 15: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3.

[Double Courage]

There was no sound of footsteps coming and going outside the door and I was the only one left in the empty utility room.

I know he is still outside. Looking at the closed door, I slowly stepped forward and lifted my head.

It suddenly occurred to me, when I first arrived at the hospital after hearing that Kiro had an accident.

At that time, he was also on the other side, refusing me.

I turned around, leaned against the door, and sat down. Soon, the sound of footsteps quietly leaving came to my ears.

I have to admit, I really can’t help him. I am not strong enough to make him feel more at ease.

People need to accept their own weaknesses and limitations in order to think about what they can do from their own perspective.

The whole space is quiet and my heart is surprisingly calm.

I closed my eyes and replayed all the scenes of my time with Kiro over and over again in my mind.

If I were Kiro, why would I need to use another identity while insisting on solving the problem alone?

If I was admitted to the hospital and refused to see anyone, it must be because there is a serious illness and I don’t know how to deal with others.

And I act alone because it may be dangerous and I don’t want to be dragged down by others or….

MC: Drag others down with me.

My brain is spinning so fast. I always feel that there is something that has constantly plagued me and I have come to a conclusion.

MC:…Kiro’s illness has not been cured?

So everything makes sense now.

From beginning to end, he never said why he was admitted into the hospital.

If he was attacked because of what he did, then he abandoned the identity of “Kiro” and acted under the identity of “Helios” which made it even more logical sense.

It is precisely because the illness has not been cured. He cannot expose his weakness but at the same time, he will also worry that he will be a burden to others because of this.

MC: Kiro, are you trying to be strong again?

Secretly covering up his wounds and then create an identity of another person to carry everything on his back.

But this shouldn’t be a world where only superheroes get hurt.

MC: Kilo, display location.

Following my instructions, an electronic map immediately laid out before my eyes. I looked towards the center of the map and was shocked.

Next to the little bear wearing a small flower is another bear.

Helios hasn’t left. He was just outside the door.

I remember coming in, passing by the fire control room.

I thought for a while, not worrying about it anymore, I reached out my hand and touched the head of the little bear that was close to me, as if I could the person behind it.

MC: Kiro, can you hear me?

As I expected, there was no response.

I carefully tapped the microphone on the collar twice and then muttered to myself.

MC: Kiro, I know you are there. You can just treat this as me talking to myself but listen to me, okay?

MC: I know that I am very small and there are many things I can’t do and can’t help much.

MC: I don’t think it is shameful to admit that I am weak, because I know where to move forward after realizing this.

MC: For example, right now I’m thinking, do I have to learn some hacking skills or any combat skills?

There was a vaguely violent cough outside the door and I couldn’t help but smile.

MC: I know you must have encountered something sad.

MC: I also know that I can’t help you with this. You are afraid that I will only worry more so you choose to stay away from me.

MC: But Kiro, do you know?

MC: Sometimes you are a coward and then you make yourself look strong.

Kiro:….MC

Kiro’s dull voice rang in my ears as if it came from the collar and also from the door behind him.

MC: Kiro, you don’t have to be so strong.

MC: Difficulty is like a giant beast with its teeth and claws bared. A little bear will inevitably be nervous and scared when facing it.

MC: But it doesn’t have to force itself to fight alone because if it were two bears, the courage would be doubled.

MC: The weapon to defeat the beast is often not any sharp knife, but the power of courage.

MC: My courage can be lent to you at any time.

There was a small voice and I knew he was listening to me carefully.

MC: I know you are working hard for everyone so I hope I can also help you in some way.

Next, I started to tell him all the information about the hunter game, Joker and the little boy I learned about.

Rather than watching him fight alone, I will accompany the superhero in my own way.

After Helios closed the door of the utility room, he took out the hidden mini computer from under the console of the fire control room.

This is his temporary stronghold. It is located in the center of the city so it is convenient for his system to scan the entire terrain of Loveland City.

After he hacked into the opponent’s map program and was kicked out, he came to a decision.

He wants to build a brand new system to replace the other party’s authority and control over Loveland.

He opened the program on the mini computer and took out another device.

After the device started up, a beam of light projected into the air, showing an unfinished 3D map.

He sat down and flicked his fingers quickly in the air and the program projected in the air began to change with his movements.

This is a program he developed overnight to scan a map of the city and it is more intuitive than a 2D map.

At the same time, he tried to hack into the opponent’s system again, only this time, he did not bother to snatch the program they made.

He just wants to use their system to master the information of all players and all supply points so that he can enter the next step of the plan.

He quickly worked out a plan to end the game, with every step interlocking. And the first step of all plans must be that she can stay safe.

He knows that once Kilo is enabled, his identity will be exposed to the girl.

But in such a chaotic situation, he can no longer consider that much to ensure her safety.

After finding her, his ecstatic mood made him temporarily forget the anxiety caused by those recent events.

He forgot for a while that Kiro is broken, lonely and silent.

When she heard that she was looking forward to meeting the healthy Kiro, he suddenly recovered.

He is no longer the same Kiro, at least not the Kiro she was expecting.

He still couldn’t stand in front of her as Kiro.

The girl’s voice chattered endlessly, but it made him calmer than ever.

When she said that she wanted to learn hacking techniques or combat skills, he couldn’t help but cough.

At that moment, he was sure that she was serious.

She said that he was a coward.

She said that he doesn’t need to be so strong.

Helios tapped his fingers on the keyboard and gradually stopped.

Never compromise, never give up.

He feels his heart slowly being peeled off. There is a force pushing him forward.

She was right. As long as she was by his side, he would gain great courage.

This courage can support him to do many things and make him feel even more strength.

And the information she brought was really helpful to him.

Although he had investigated some information long ago, some of it was the first time he had heard of it.

The name Joker and Evol may be the main messenger of the game and the boy who can provide teleportation for him.

The so-called “ghost” to “human” transmission is actually done by this young man.

He frowned and began to think about what changes his plan needed to make as a result.

Fast fingers flew over the keyboard again and a “beep” came from multiple devices at the same time.

He raised his eyebrows slightly and his eyes showed unstoppable sharpness.

After scanning the three-dimensional map of the city, the player’s information points have been fully entered, the locations of the supply points have been disclosed to him, and the girl’s location information has also been erased from the game.

Helios: This game is mine.

[New Game]

I leaned against the door and suddenly felt a vibration from my phone. When I picked it up, I found that the phone had a black screen.

Before I had a chance to restart it, the screen automatically lit up and then a line of words were displayed.

“Welcome to the new hunter game.”

New hunter game? I was stunned for a moment, before I realized what had happened, the word “hunter” was marked with a red “X” by the animation effect.

MC: Welcome to…..the new hunter game?”

The red animation effect keeps flashing on the screen, seeming to constantly emphasize the concept of “new game”.

Did Joker change the rules of the game? Why cross out the word “hunter”? What does he want to do?

Unsettling emotions came to my mind. I subconsciously wanted to call Helios but I heard a familiar voice come over the phone.

??: Now, the game management rights will be changed.

??: I hereby announce, the new game has officially started.

This voice….is Helios!

I looked at the phone in disbelief and saw the screen change along with his voice.

“Hunter Game Is Out”

Helios: All the rules of the hunter game are invalidated.

Helios: There is only one rule you have to abide by—“No harm to anyone.”

I looked at the big words “NO FIGHT” displayed on the screen and faintly guessed what Helios wanted to do.

Helios: The communication method will now be opened, allowing all players to establish contact.

Helios: The game system adds a help platform and anyone who needs assistance can upload coordinates.

Helios: The map resumes normal use and all supply points will be publicly marked.

When he released these rules, the signal of my mobile phone showed full frame synchronously; a dialog box for help also popped up on the screen.

Then the phone automatically opened a brand new Loveland City map which not only showed the locations of all supply points but also a panoramic 3D map.

Helios: But don’t be too happy. My game will only be harder.

Helios: All of you, still have to follow my rules.

His tone was blunt, as if he was really the master of the game.

I was a little puzzled. Helios is clearly helping everyone to restore peace in Loveland. Why is he deliberately being so cold?

Although the fog has not dissipated, he can directly announce the end of the game. Why would he go the other way and announce the new rules of the game?

At this time, the screen switched to the surveillance on the streets of Loveland City and Helios seemed to have set up thermal imaging technology to clearly see colorful figures on the screen.

After seeing the contents of the surveillance clearly, my eyes widened unexpectedly—

Many people still pushed and scrambled for the aerosol at the replenishment point, fighting hard, and the scene was chaotic.

It seems that the so-called “new game” and “new rules” are meaningless to them.

Faintly, I seem to understand something.

Even if the game itself is stripped away, some people will still be dominated by fear or some kind of temptation and continue to dwell in the cold-blooded fighting.

So is this also Helios’ consideration?

I looked back at the closed wooden door waiting for his answer.

Helios: If someone insists on going their own way and continue to compete for limited resources…

Helios: The aerosol that you’re competing for will be ineffective at the moment.

Before he finished his words, everyone on the screen seemed to be taken aback. Several people raised the aerosols in their hands and panicked.

Helios: This is my game.

Helios: If you don’t believe me, you can try it.

The picture automatically zoomed in and the aerosol in the person’s hand was clearly exposed---the aerosol valve was automatically opened.

The crowd seemed to have finally realized the existence of the new game and stood there facing each other.

This is the meaning of Helios building a new game—

If the game is announced directly, everyone will continue to compete for aerosol if the fog is not effectively resolved.

That’s why he created another image of the game controller and introduced new game rules.

The purpose is to establish authority, let everyone follow his instructions, and get out of the mindset of fighting in a more orderly manner.

Helios: If you want to live, you must act according to my rules.

Helios: All players will be divided into three levels and displayed on your mobile phone screens according to the length of the remaining survival time.

Helios: Sub-level players need to help emergency level players to obtain aerosol.

Helios: The more people you help, the higher the ranking will be.

Helios: The highest-ranked person can still get a generous bonus.

Helios: Remember, “you are the game itself.”

Helios: Looking forward to your wonderful performance.

Helios completely changed the rules of the game.

If it can be executed smoothly, it will make the hunter game lose its original meaning.

It turns out that this is his “own way” to solve the hunter game?

While sighing, I was also a little worried.

The current situation is undoubtedly a huge change for Joker. In order to take back control,  he will certainly not give up.

I was about to remind Helios to be vigilant but suddenly there was a slight noise outside the door. Helios opened the door in the next second.

Helios: Let’s go.

Helios: Someone has snuck in.

-End of Part 4-

Continue to Part 5 

#spoliers #mlqc spoilers #kiro #helios #kiro spoilers #helios spoilers #mlqc season 2 #translations #cold badass helios is HOT #ME LIKEY!!!

[imaginesofharrypotter]

Asgardian ale

Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary: Thor brought some Asgardian booze to the party. Surely, nothing can go wrong.

Warnings: a little bit of angst I guess, but mostly fluffy Bucky

Last night, it was one of Tony Stark's notorious parties but only including the Avengers. Everyone was dragged there as it was mandatory, "team-building fun" as Tony liked to put it. Surprisingly enough Thor showed up and brought something with him that made the party all the more exciting: Asgardian ale.

You see, the two super soldiers were so enhanced that they could never get drunk and let loose, with human alcohol that is. It was truly a sight to behold. Pre-serum Steve had so many ill conditions that alcohol was off-limit and boy, did he enjoy the calm feeling of the booze. The always polite Captain America ran around the tower shouting nonsense, swearing while he tried to lift Thor's hammer and cutely but miserably flirting with Natasha (but given the unlikely situation, it made the assassin blush nonetheless)

You were laughing your ass off on the couch with Wanda when two strong arms draped around your shoulder making you look up.

"Hi Soldier" - you greeted your boyfriend who had an adorable cheeky grin on his face

"Hi, Beautiful" - he planted a sloppy kiss on your mouth that made all eyes wander from Steve towards the two of you

You see, Bucky never was a fan of PDA, rarely showing affection when the others were around. That was fine with you, you understood that he was a private person, and it made his love for you even more precious, knowing he would make it up when in your shared room alone. He was a big, sentimental, clingy, and handsy person and you wouldn't have it any other way. It was so sweet that you were the only one seeing this affectionate side of him... Up until last night.

"I miss youuuu" he purred in your ear, tone slightly slurred by the alcohol

"But I'm right here, Buck" - you cocked an eyebrow and smiled sweetly at him

"I miss your warmth" - he cornered the couch and sat down next to you, instantly wrapping his arms around you in a side hug, nuzzling your neck.

"Better?" - you asked in a whisper as you started stroking his hair, just the way he likes it

"Soooo much" - he purred again, closing his eyes and inhaling your scent - "You smell so gooood"

You chuckled lightly and yelped as you felt yourself being lifted. You landed on Bucky's lap, him pulling you flesh to him and tightly wrapping his arms around you, resting his head on one of your shoulders. You laid back and let yourself relax in your boyfriend's embrace, closing your eyes, and feeling utterly content. That is until a flash went off.

"Hey" - you exclaimed as you saw Sam holding his phone and showing the photo that he just took to everyone

"Oh, calm down Snowflake, it's not every day that we get to see Mr. Grumpy so kind and calm." - he shrugged his shoulders

"At least send it to me then." - you asked him, already knowing what your new phone wallpaper will be

You lightly turned your head to see Bucky's reaction, only to find him still in the same position, contently sitting with closed eyes and a little smile plastered on his face.

The rest of the night mostly contained talking and laughing as everyone gathered around you. During the late hours, slowly, everyone went back to their rooms. You haven't failed to see Steve following Nat out and to her room. You smiled to yourself then you tried to think about a way to get you and Bucky into a comfortable position to sleep. You assumed that he had fallen asleep a long time ago as he never said a word all night, nor did he move after snuggling up with you. You slowly loosened his arms around you.

"Wanna go to sleep, doll?" - he asked and you jumped a little bit on his lap - "Sorry to startle you" - he chuckled lightly and hugged you tightly again

"It's okay, I just thought you were asleep" - you turned halfway and smiled down lovingly at him

"Nope" - he popped the p in it - "Was just too comfortable to move or say anything" - Bucky smiled goofily up at you while your heart melted

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself" - you caressed one of his cheeks, basking in the feeling as he closed his eyes and leaned into your touch - "Are you feeling sleepy yet?"

"I could sleep" - he mumbled tiredly while picking you up bridal style and carrying you to your shared bedroom

He put you on the floor and kissed you sweetly. It was a gentle and loved filled kiss, not hungry, nor rushing, just full of passion. He pulled away and undressed you slowly, trailing little wet kisses on your skin as he exposed it. After you were only standing in your panties he walked to the closet, picked out one of his T-shirts, and pulled it over you. Bucky loved it when you wore his clothes, it was a sense of pride that you were his and his alone. You started to undress him too, focusing on his clothing but you knew his gaze never left you as he followed your every movement with an expression filled with adoration. You pulled out a drawer and picked out a fresh boxer for him and panties for you. You both changed and got under the covers, Bucky instantly nuzzling your stomach and wrapping his arms around you the best he could. You reflexively started to card your fingers through his luscious brown locks and felt him hum against your skin while planting a soft kiss on it.

"I love it so much when you are this affectionate" - you laid your head on the soft pillow

"I can't help it, you are so soft and warm, the best feeling ever" - he mumbled softly and you heard his breath even out

"Sweet dreams, my love" - you kissed the crown of his head gently and drifted to sleep yourself

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A loud crash woke you up from your slumber. You turned around, wanting nothing more than to nuzzle into your boyfriend's warm body, but you found his spot empty and cold.

You yawned and walked to the kitchen to get some breakfast for yourself. Steve was already there, making coffee for himself, his back to you.

"Well, well, I didn't know purple was on the new Captain America color palette" - you commented with an obvious smirk as you saw the not so little love bites around his neck"

"Thor should definitely not bring that ale on a party again" - he laughed nervously while turning around and sipping his coffee

"Ohhh, on the contrary, Stevie. I will personally ask him to do so if it makes you finally admit your feelings" - your smiled turned more soft - "How much do you remember?"

"Everything" - he face-palmed himself - "The strength of the alcohol was enough to set me loose but not enough to make me forget things or even to have a hangover"

With that, you took out your phone to check social media. The first pic that came up nearly made you drop the device. Before you could ask Steve about it, Sam came running into the room, screaming, while a very angry looking Bucky followed him with heavy steps.

"Take it down" - your boyfriend demanded with a growl, the authority in his voice making your legs week

"No way man, where is the fun in it, there are already thousands of view on it" - Sam retorted while trying to hide behind you, knowing Bucky would never hurt you

"Oh, no, you are not getting me into this" - you stepped away, but towards your love - "Sweatheart, what got you this mad?"

"Oh, why not ask Birdie here?" - he still threw daggers with his eyes towards Sam

You thought about the post with the caption "The big bad Winter Soldier is actually a big softie #BuckyBear" that Wilson made and uploaded.

"Is this about the picture from last night? Do you not like it?" - you asked softly

"Of course I do, you are on it" - he smiled lovingly at you, his voice softened - "But other people aren't supposed to see and like it" - he mumbled and pouted like an adorable child

"Oh, honey, but we look so good. We've been together for almost two years, it's only natural that we love being affectionate towards each other" - you put your hands on his cheeks, lightly caressing them

"So it wouldn't bother you if I hold your hand or kiss you in front of others?" - he asked shyly, avoiding eye contact

"Of course not. I would really love that. But I respect your choice of privacy if it's not okay with you." - you reassured him

He didn't answer verbally, just bent down and captured your lips in a passionate, deep kiss.

"Ewww, get a room" - Sam exclaimed loudly, making you break the kiss

"You cooked yourself a meal, now you're gonna eat it" - and with that, you went back kissing Bucky

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From that moment on, Bucky always kept an arm around you and was never afraid to show his love for you. It turned out that he was a real sucker for PDA, knowing you loved his attention. You were also able to finally shower him with love anytime you wanted, to cuddle up to him and relax, and to go to long walks, holding hands. You two were never overdoing it though, but the team never minded it anyway. Everyone knew how happy and calm moments are so rare in the field of work you were doing, they were truly happy for you. Maybe Sam not so much, especially when Bucky randomly grabbed you and kissed you deeply whenever he walked in, pissing him off and reminding him that he never should invade your privacy again. Oh, and Bucky never admitted it, but he actually was grateful for Sam to take the photo that now served as his wallpaper too.

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Author's note: I have a bunch of ideas of Bucky, so most probably I'm gonna post about him for a while. But also really wanna write something sweet for Tj Hammond. What are your thoughts? Have a lovely day ^^

#Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x reader #Winter Soldier #bucky #james buchanan barnes #x reader #marvel #avengers #tony stark #sam wilson #thor #bucky bear #fluff #asgardian #Sebastian Stan #love #steve rogers #natasha romanoff #wanda maximoff #bucky x reader

[acid-hydrangea]

“I”

There was a boy named Sig, who had many, many questions.

*Note: Sig uses he and they pronouns in this work interchangeably.

Sig awoke to the gentle, blue hues of his room flooding his vision. The quiet morning air tinged with the sounds of birdsong and the beaming of harsh sunlight. It was 5:32 AM. The Fever Bird month had just begun.

They hoisted themself out of bed and opened the window, breathing in the crisp morning air soaking in his surroundings, he’d neglected the rough, coarse sensation on--in--through? his shoulder... He moved to the other end of his room, and upon checking the mirror they discovered that the ‘totally not worrisome’ crimson growths had spread further, practically covering his whole left shoulder, almost touching his neck. The natural ringing in his ears felt louder than usual. He stared for a moment at his reflection, his thoughts clouding his mind like an intense thunderstorm. Eventually, he broke eye contact with his reflection and got dressed for the day. 

He donned his typical shirt with the rest of his usual clothes, he went on his way, considering wearing their turtleneck sweater more often, despite the spring-summer heat.

--

    Sig’s gaze was transfixed on the clouds moving across the clear sky, like a herd of lazy sheep. Their thoughts drifted in all sorts of directions, but he wasn’t able to attach any words to anything he felt... Not even one, this time. He looked down at his desk, Accord’s voice and the sound of chalk against the blackboard fading into white noise as they scratched one of his left claws upon the desk’s surface. 

...What… was happening to him? Why didn’t anyone ever bother to tell him? He’s not a little kid, he could handle whatever they told him. Did he do something that scared everyone? Ever since he transferred to this class, his arm and eye suddenly changed. People gave him weird stares, and tried to avoid him. When his caretaker Akuma found out, he tried every single spell and magic seal he could, to reverse the process. None of it worked. Every now and then, he tried again, rinse and repeat every so often. Fast-forward to the 'incident' nobody wants to talk about, involving bookworm. Fast-forward again to that blonde witch's potion... Ever since that, no... Even before that, he swore he was--

    His thoughts were disrupted by the sound of the school bell signalling the end to another day.

“... And that wraps up our lessons for the day! Be sure to review your notes, and do your homework, everyone. I will be here for the next hour if you need help.” 

He just sat there, trying to think through his memories, to make sense of it. Most students dispersed, the sound of students’ papers rustling and bags being picked up off the floor slowly replaced the white noise in his head. Klug and Raffina probably left separately, Amitie rushed to Accord’s side for help with the homework, and Lidelle was off to do her observations on the moonsunflower this week. 

Sig remained in his seat, having wordless conversations with his little bug friends, instead. Asking them about their days, as he always did, mostly oblivious to the events of his own. He’d have been last to leave if Amitie and Lidelle weren’t there. He did things at his own pace typically, leaving whenever his bug friend did.

...Today was different, though. Something felt different. A gnawing feeling that used to feel trivial had grown over time. The deformations from his left arm had been spreading constantly, no amount of Akuma’s rites, treatments, or spells slowed it down. It’d been a year since that incident happened, and a few months later, something else... Two incidents, and no answers. All he had were questions that were shunned away with words like “It’s nothing for you to worry about,” or “We’ll take care of it, so don’t ask too many questions.” All he could do was believe them, because they had his best interest in mind, right...?

Akuma never provided actual answers when asked, only empty words of... What felt like false reassurance,“Don’t worry your young head about it”, while chanting mysterious incantations with paper, “We’ll heal you someday”, casting archaic-sounding spells, handing him multiple charms,

“Don’t think about what scares you, only think happy thoughts, kuma.”

Scary? Was something wrong with him in the first place? Something that felt like a part of him, ingrained in him since birth, treated as a curse and a disease once his hand and eye turned that shade of crimson? It got him in trouble so many times, in ways he had no control, something he was forced to be at the center of. Fate was drawing chaos towards him, like a violent vortex. Was he never supposed to think about ‘himself’ ever again? What could he even do about the world revolving so sporadically around him? 

The ladybug flew away, right out the window, to greener pastures.

--

    Eventually, Amitie left the classroom. She waved goodbye to Sig, seemingly getting the sense that he wasn’t in the mood to walk home together that day. She flashed him a worried smile, and then disappeared out the door. 

He wasn't feeling up to talking to his teacher in the first place, but... The nagging feeling wouldn't go away until he did. Sig stood up from the desk and walked over to Ms. Accord’s desk.

"Good afternoon, Sig. Do you need any help with what we learned today?"

"Something... else."

“Oh? What is it, is something troubling you?”

He... Didn't know how to ask, what to ask...? He was prepared to just be told nothing, anyways, but... They really wanted to know. They were feeling... Confusion, anger? Fear, sadness... Any mental script they had in mind was gone. He didn’t realize just how intense his fear of the unknown was.

"I.... Is there something wrong with me? Am I... going to become something bad... Do you know what's... Happening to me ...?"

They didn't realize how scared their expression was, like a deer in headlights.

"Sig...? Dear, are you alright? Did something happen?"

He was trying not to cry when he ended up thinking about everything he was told not to, gripping his arms tightly. Sometimes, it felt harder to breathe, or think... Was it just him, or something else? His vision grew blurry from held-back tears...

--

Sitting in a chair Ms. Accord pulled up, he didn't have it in him to look her in the eye. Everything was silent for some time...

"I'm... scared. You, Akuma, everyone... You all know things about me..."

He tried to make eye contact with her, if barely, only able to meet eyes with her puppet.

"Why don't you want me to know? Do I need to be fixed...? Is something bad going to happen with me...? To people around me? I've always... been like this... So I don't know. Everyone acts like it's forbidden stuff..." 

Digging his fingers into his arm, he was shaking...

"I don't want to live like this. Knowing nothing about myself... It's so scary. No one likes scary people. No one wants to be around someone who hurts people. It makes me feel like I'm going to ruin everything, someday..."

"... I told you, you all shouldn't keep secrets from him, nya. Lookit what it did to the poor kid...", Popoi whispered to her. What could she say? The cat was right...

"Sig... I'm sorry, I truly am. It was never my intention to cause you such anxiety... Please, try to look at me..."

"I... can't..." 

"Please know, then... You're not in any danger, and your friends aren't, either. No one's going to get hurt just because you're here... You said you've always been like this, right?"

Sig nodded, wiping his eyes on his sleeve.

"You've always been a prized pupil and friend to many, Sig... That won't change just because of your arm or eye... Those make you who you are, and you're a wonderful person."

"... Thanks... teacher..."

Taking some deep breaths, he sighed... He still had more questions. Many more.

"... I want to know... Something else..."

"You have my word that I'll answer to the best of my abilities, from now on."

Having wiped his tears away, putting faith in her words, 

"... What made me like this? Does it have something to do with what happened a year ago...? I know... you know something... You were helping... him... Lemres."

Silence permeated through the room.

"Akuma informed me, when you enrolled, that your sudden changes were nothing to worry about. As far as my knowledge goes, there's nothing abnormal about your condition that would warrant any worry. As for the incident..."

"... Teacher?" 

"I promise I'm being honest, my knowledge of what happened... Is very little. I only know what it is that Lemres told me about those 3... objects."

"Which... is...?"

" Those... The items, they are connected to a certain item of ill omens... I do not know anything more. He kept such details to himself..."

... Did she think he forgot about the bookworm's book? He wasn't clueless, he knew there was something weird about it. Bookworm always makes the effort to tuck it away specifically when he approaches. He almost seemed to prioritize making sure he never even so much as touched it. He got annoyed when others did, and downright terrified when he did. He wasn't fooling anyone, Sig simply didn't pay the thought any mind until now.

Having almost-fully regained his composure, he stood up, 

"Teacher... If that really is all you know... I'm going to find out more, by myself.", making himself clear, he was finally able to project his voice a bit louder.

"... I'm  sorry, that truly is the extent of my knowledge, but... Sometime soon, I could invite him over, and he could tell you what he knows...?"

... It was reassuring to see she actually parted with details. All it took was... Crying. Stressful. He just wanted to get out. He especially wanted nothing to do with that candy weirdo.

"I...don’t want that. See you next week, teach."

With that, he left. 

Tomorrow, it would be time to visit the bookworm Klug, instead.

Ms. Accord, too, had her own plans for the weekend.

--

End Notes: surprise surprise i’m gonna be uploading fics up here from now on. this fic’s been in the works for awhile and it still is- but i’m really excited to show everyone it! if it’s possible, i’d like to affix art to every single chapter going forward. thank you for reading, and feel free to let me know what you think via. replies or asks. reblogs and likes are especially helpful for getting the word out! catch me on my main blog at @marxsoul, or my twitter at @marxsoui, and see you when the next chapter’s out~

#puyo puyo #sig #ms. accord #I #my works

[ecoamerica]

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

#ACLA24 #ACLA24HighSchoolStudents #youtube #youtube video #climate leaders #climate solutions #climate action #climate and environment #climate #climate change #climate and health #climate blog #climate justice #climate news #weather and climate #environmental news #environment #environmental awareness #environment and health #environmental #environmental issues #environmental education #environmental justice #environmental protection #environmental health #high school students #high school #youth #youth of america #school

[courtorderedcake]

Procrastination: An Apology - Apothecary Shoppe Smut (REPOST)

I did a bad thing.

Instead of writing my piece for @cssns​ that I was supposed to have done a week ago, I present to you this, as an apology. Sorry. Kind of. Maybe. Not really.

Rate E for Enticing. And Explicit. It’s fucking, because I’m not fucking doing what I need to be.

I’ll finish my shit eventually. 

NSFW art available via Pillowfort, this was uploaded in 2018 before but Tumblr flagged it. 

Working in an apothecary has its perks when it comes to magic. For Killian Jones, one of those perks happens to be the beautiful customer that seems to always be buying one thing or another.

Killian idly passed time sorting books as Belle had taught him, waiting for the clock to inevitably bring closing time. His job at the Chipped Cauldron was interesting, the place was small and quiet with only a few patrons at a time. As a discharged and dishonored warlock it was perfect work to avoid any questioning eyes, people unsurprised that a potion maker’s arm ended in a gnarled stump. 

Today had been quiet, too quiet as far as he was concerned. He’d done everything that could be done twice, now back to his third time sorting books. He wanted to go home. It wasn’t even that he had plans other than to go to his flat and drink, but he was having an off day. 

She hadn’t come in today. 

For the last 4 months or so, one Emma Swan (per her scratched signature), had been coming in twice a week to pick up various supplies, and he had found himself enjoying their talks. 

(And, well, her voice, the way her eyes lit up when she spoke about the historical constructs behind why there were so little female potion’s masters and how certain ingredients smelled so much better fresh but she would have to make do, or how breathtaking her shoulders looked when she took that red jacket off. He wanted to bite one just to see the mark against that pale skin -)

No. He frowned deeper, eyebrows furrowed. If this wasn’t his place of work that his friend Belle had painstakingly gotten him, he would pursue her aggressively like he had in bars for a quick fuck… But no, actually he wouldn’t. She seemed the type that liked gentleman, black glasses pushed up her nose again and again, simple ponytail, cardigan over a summer dress or skirt and blouse. Surprising even himself, he realized he’d court her if she showed any interest in him outside of his fantasies. 

She didn’t. She dutifully came in and drove him insane.

“Hey, herb guy!” She’d yelled at him the first time he saw her, immediately irritating him. He stomped over to the aisle she’d called from ready to give her a good shushing, until he looked up to see an angel perched precariously on a ladder reaching for a jar of gargoyle tears. “A little help? I think I broke your ladder.” 

“Oh.” he said, and regretted how absolutely stupid he sounded. “Ah, yes, here. Let’s get you down and I’ll get it for you.” He extended his good hand towards her, and she took it, stumbling down the wobbling ladder. When she stood next to him she’d looked up at him with kind eyes, and he forgot any reason to be mad at anything. 

“Thank you. It’s an ingredient Belle recommended for a spell I found in old book of Scandinavian curses. They’re heavier than I thought it would be.” She pointed to the jar, it’s tear shaped stones glittering. He climbed and grabbed it, carefully balancing on the wobbly ladder before jumping the last few steps and handing it to her. 

“Here you are. If you need anything else…” He scratched behind his ear, and nodded to his desk area. She smiled at him, and as he turned grabbed his arm. 

“Really though, thank you. Killian, right? Belle told me about you and I appreciate it.” She turned and walked down the aisle, picking up a large pile of books she had collected and placing them in a basket with various ingredients. When she was out of sight, he groaned quietly. Belle talking to people, or warning people he should say, about his irritability was a great end to his and Swan’s meeting. 

(She probably bloody well knew him as the moody, brooding Warlock that occasionally set off a stinging nettle spell to get the odd wanker back out of the shop and on his way, if he was in such a foul temper)

When she began coming in every other day for this or that, he found himself excited to see her. He subconsciously dressed a bit nicer, read books that might pique her interest to talk to him, and on braver days he’d write up signs with potions that could be made with her favorite ingredients, hoping she would strike up conversation. She never noticed him really, a quick hello and then endless torture as she perused or read in their small lounge area.

Swan also had a habit of needing ingredients she couldn’t reach, a talent that he was torn about. On one hand, when he went over to grab her chosen goods, her warm body was so close to his that he could smell her hair or perfume. 

(He was close enough to kiss her neck, or run his tongue down her spine listening to her moan -)

And that, was the other hand. She showed no interest in him, and her sweet demeanor made him feel guilty everytime those jade eyes looked up at him when she apologized for bumping him. That had almost killed him: as he reached for a container of mandrake leaves, some had slipped out and she made to grab them. As she moved up, her beautiful ass had ground against him and he resisted every urge to rut up against her.

“I’m so sorry, but I’m glad we saved these! They’re so valuable, I’d hate to waste any.” She’d smiled at him and he’d quietly adjusted himself at his desk. Lately she’d been winding down the reading and talking to him more, inviting him over to her table to quiz her on her technique or to recommend spell books for practice. He’d helped her edit recipes and directions, hovering over her shoulder while his body begged an end to its needy fantasies. 

(Her mouth in that perfect, pretty shape when she says his name, and he’s buried deep, hot and hard in her warmth -)

She wasn’t here today though, and closing was in 30 minutes. No point for any type of special signs or added charms to brighten the place. He began to lock up, unsure why her absence made him so damn irritable. The door chime went off and his ears perked up. 

“We close in twenty minutes, so please if you’re getting something make it qui - “ 

Swan came down the aisle towards him, and he felt his heart leap. She was wearing a pink dress that made her practically glow, and he was very aware in this moment that it was only them in the building at the present. His mouth felt dry spying a dangerous gleam in her eyes.

“I need to get another book, can you help me? I just went on the most awful blind date, and immediately came here because the ridiculously hot herb guy that has been ignoring my flirting would be better company. I just thought, if I’m thinking about him on dates with other men, than he should know. Bluntly. Because you’re oblivious. Is there a spell, potion, or book that could help me with that?” she rambled and he felt his heart beating in his ears. 

“It’s not that simple, Swan, I think you’re wonderful but I’m -”

“Emma. Call me Emma, Killian. Belle told me. Luckily for you, I like broody, ill-tempered, swaggering men who will only make eyes from me across the room.” she smirked deviously, and the heat that swept through him made his skin tingle. 

“I suppose you can’t read a book by it’s cover, you came in here with this… Soft and cutesy attire, besides that red jacket of yours, everything you wore was so - “

She groaned and slid a hand over her face. “I know, that explains so much. My apartment had a pipe explode and everything in my bedroom was ruined. I’ve been staying with my roommate and borrowing her clothing. She dresses like the grandmother of a Disney princess, but it works for her, just not me… However, even if I did dress like this,” she took a step forward with a grin. “I’d prefer someone who could take control.” He groaned quietly, as she pressed herself against him.

“Let me lock up. Stay here.” he rushed to the door, locking it and flipping the sign with a wave. Placing the enchantments on the building, and turning off the front lights, he practically ran back to her. 

“There, no interruptions.” He looked her dead in the eyes, then pressed his lips to hers. They started slow, and then he began kissing her hungrily, as she grabbed at his shirt to pull him closer. Her mouth on his felt amazing, it felt right, her tongue and his exploring each others lips. 

He pulled away breathless for a moment. “Emma, this… I want this, but it’s your last chance to back out if you want to. This can be a one time thing, if you want.” His voice was hoarse as he searched her face. “If you stay though, I’m going to do everything to you that I’ve thought about since you came in here that first day. I’m going to fuck you senseless, do you understand?” 

She panted into him, and nodded. “Yes, please.” she whispered and every synapse in is body lit. 

“Oh thank every star, I’ve waited entirely too long for this.” He crashed his mouth against hers, pushing her against a shelf, immediately hiking up her dress to find her clit. “God’s above you fucking siren.” She wasn’t wearing any knickers, her wetness already leaking between her thighs under the dim lights. He stroked a finger into her, listening to her moan while he circled his thumb on her clit. “That day you ground against me? If I had known, I would have pulled you into a closet and grabbed your ass with both hands, pulled you against me so you could feel how hard I was.” he took her hand and pressed it against his pants, rubbing his cock through the fabric as he added another finger to her wetness. 

Withdrawing his hand as she protested, he licked his fingers. “You’re delicious. I think I’ll have more than a taste. He knelt as her eyes went wide, letting him pull on of her legs over his shoulder. 

Killian’s first slow lick had her eyes closing, and mouth keening out a cry of pleasure. He smirked. This would be easy. He felt like a man starved, slurping and gently nipping when she bucked her hips up into his face, desperate for him to stop torturing her. When her hips shook and he felt the beginning flutters of orgasm, Killian pulled away, watching her chest rise and fall with her panting breaths. 

“No. You made me wait, made me sit there with my cock hard imagining ways to fuck you until you couldn’t walk. You’ll wait.”

Pulling her by the arm, he pushed her against a table, bent over as he pushed her skirt up again. Removing his belt and releasing himself from his trousers, he stroked himself a few times before sliding slow between her folds coating himself. 

“I love the feel of how wet you are, Emma. And, I love the feel of your arse, Gods you are beautiful. I need to bury myself in you, and I think you’d like that, hm?” He gave her ass a smack and she moaned, wriggling slightly. “Here’s the catch love: I don’t care how good it feels, and it will - Do not come on my cock. If you do, I will leave you with quite the reminder when you can’t sit tomorrow.” he chuckled darkly, before hissing and whispering a spell for protection. 

“There we are love,” He nudged himself into position, his stump against her thigh and palm pressed to the small of her back. He slid into her with one hard thrust, sinking with a deep groan as she moaned. He set a fast pace, relishing in how good she felt around him. 

“You’re so fucking tight, your quim feels like magic, fuck, Emma -”

He pistoned his hips, fucking her hard against the table as it rocked slightly. Emma’s moans drove him insane, his body bucking at different angles to illicit keening cries.

“Please, please don’t stop! Ah, Killian, that’s so good!” Her body tensed, and he let out a groan as she came on his cock, shuddering and screaming his name. She panted, and he continued languid movements as she came down from her high. Sliding his body over hers, while kissing her neck, he bit down hard on her shoulder and she cried out with a buck of her hips.

“I told you not to come.” Killian murmured, licking the mark. Pulling away from Emma and out of her heat, he smacked her ass hard, and she whimpered as she tried to press against his hips. He continued hard smacks until he was satisfied, running his nails over the reddened skin. “Turn over, love, and on your knees. That’s a good, lass.” 

Killian presented himself to her, and Emma took him in her mouth, swallowing him to his base. His eyes rolled back into his head, as he felt her hands lightly press on his thighs, her tongue swirling as he tried not to ram himself down her throat. 

Spreading his legs further apart, he wrapped his fingers in her hair as she bobbed on his length. His breath came in harsh pants as she hollowed her cheeks, his release close. 

Pulling her back as her mouth made a satisfying pop around his cock, he pulled her up to claim her mouth with his. He placed her back on the table, thrusting into her heat in one precise move that made her moan his name. Her nails clawed at his back while he ground his hips, her walls spasming as he lost himself in a few final thrusts. They panted, his chest pressed against hers as they came down. After a moment he pulled away, a quick wave of her hand and a few pieces of parchment became a set of warm wet rags. He cleaned himself, the rag incerating with a snap of his fingers. While they were still warm from the flame, he traced the line of her collarbone stepping back between her legs while she pulled down her crumpled dress.   

“That was…” Emma whispered. “As I said, it can be a one time thing, if you like.” He pushed a stray lock of her hair behind her ear. He held his breath, trying not to hope. 

“That’s probably smart.” Her eyes were downcast, and she chewed her lip. 

“Aye.” Killian sighed, stepping back. “I understand, I’ll see you out.” 

“This shop has the best selection and the most knowledgeable sorcerer I’ve met, though. Having access to him after hours might be a perk I’m willing to live with, if occasional dinners were involved.” Her voice was light, and he turned, the small smile on her face lighting her eyes like emerald witch-fire under a cauldron. 

“Warlock, darling. A devilishly handsome Warlock.” He smirked, striding forward and capturing her lips in a kiss that left them breathless. “As for dinner, there’s a diner down the street that’s open late. If you don’t have plans, that is.”

“I do now.” 

#Courtorderedcake #8th #August #2020 #August 8th 2020 #Smut #cssns #CS AU #CS FF #captain swan fanfiction #Captain swan #captain swan au #cs cocktoberfest #Originally posted a while ago #but Tumblr fuckin sucks

[cartoonfangirl1218]

Give them what they want

Since Ff.net is kinda sucky, I’m just posting my fics here like a backup. There is mention and scene of rape so be warned. No characters are made by me.

Jordan lounged around in her bed, having finished editing and uploading her latest video on Auratube. She ladies on her side, feeling thoughtfully as she looked at her arm. Her perfectly smooth, tan arm.

She got up and went to her mirror. With a barely audible snap, she changed to her true form. Her genie form.

Her streaks disappeared making her hair pure raven black, her skin turned pink, and she let her lower half turn to smoke. She watched herself as she let down her hair from her high pony tail, and drift around her in waves.

She continued to look at herself, examining how..how different she looked from her human form.

She rarely took this form in public. Only when she slept or when she was much too distracted to keep the image.

She hugged herself, a panicky feeling rising. She knew she was alone but being like this she felt vulnerable. Nude. This form was just another sign of her otherness from mortals. A message of what she was.

A genie for them to ask wishes for. That is what she was meant to do after all like those centuries before her.

Her middle name even implied as much. "Desiree as close to desire as you can get. You give humans what they desire most, what they want." Her dad had explained.

Just three wishes.." whined the voice of her ex boyfriends. "What's wrong with you? Aren't genies suppose to want to give wishes" complained the voices of her rich, entitled classmates. She was a genie, that was all she was good for. That was all people ever wanted.

She wasn't wanted for her popularity as auratuber, or being especially pretty but wishes. Wishes, wishes, wishes. Never for her. A breath hitched in her throat and she changed herself back.

"No, no don't think about him" she told herself as thoughts her ex boyfriend broke through.

She had been so careful when she started to date. She swore it was going to be different, he wasn't going to date her for wishes, he would be with her for her.  She had disguised herself. Blonde hair with pink streaks, Caucasian. Claimed to be a French shapeshifter. 

She was careful not to change anything else though. She acted with her usual snarky confidence, and opinionated voice. Plus for once her boyfriend actually admire her for it. 

He had said "I love you" with genuine warmth and the knowledge that he truly meant it made Jordan want to float to the sky. 

She had waited a few days afterwards before revealing the truth. Pierce had been shocked, slightly angered at her deception but once she had assured him that she had no way acted dishonestly in her feelings toward him, and told him why she felt she had to lie about it, he calmed. 

In fact the following weeks afterward he had been more considerate to her and doing things to please her and follow her wants. It had been a perfect four months. 

Somewhere between her reveal and their break up all the things he loved her and dated her for had been forgotten. He had a genie girlfriend, he could have wishes. Jordan bitterly wondered if those three words, "I'm a genie" magically made a person greedy and selfish. 

They had been in her room in her lamp, lying on her ottamon watching some dumb action movie when he wrapped his arms around her, nipping at her neck. 

"Want me to massage you?" he murmured, with an eyebrow raised  "With oil?" Jordan purred.

"What else?" Pierce grinned "Can I top por favor?"  Jordan grinned at him, sliding her fingers through his brown hair, "Sure, I'm feeling generous today."  "Then afterward we can go eat, and ride around in a motorcycle.."  "You got a motorcycle?"  "No" Pierce shrugged "But I was thinking you can get me one. You know first of three wishes and..." 

"What." Jordan clipped, her sultry mood stopped cold.  "Umm wishes. You know three wishes, genie" Pierce stuttered, looking at her confused. 

"No!" Jordan shoved him away as she got up from the ottoman. "Just no. What made you think I would..how dare you ask me for wishes!"  "Dare? But I thought? Jordan please don't overreact." Pierce held up his hands in a "don't shoot sign." How could you? I told you, I told you why I didn't tell you. Exactly for this reason. I can't believe you're just like all the others"

"I'm not like all the others" Pierce cut her off "I'm not dating you because of that."  "Then you shouldn't ask for it" Jordan interrupted. 

"But but I'm not like them. I mean I did all that date stuff for you. Your movies, your restaurant, I bottom. I gave you what you wanted. Now I can get some wishes. It's even-even." 

Her heart sunk, and her stomach became hollow. "That wasn't just because." All her life she had seen cute Auradonian couples doing overly sentimental acts of love. Simple ones like letting the other get their way. Just for the sake of it. But it never happened to her. This hardly counted. 

"Well some of it was but come on, Jord. You're my girlfriend I love you." Pierce whined, he reached toward her but she slapped his hands away. 

"Get out, we're through." She glared  "What!"  "I'm. Dumping. You. Now. Leave." Jordan annunciated. Pierce stopped stuttering and fighting and gave her defiant look. "I still want those wishes. I deserve them."  "Yeha, you deserve them" Jordan mocked, rolling her eyes.

"I do!" Pierce insisted "I mean I worked so hard trying to make you happy. I did what you wanted.."  "That's because you insisted. I thought we were in a relationship, you didn't have to do it. No one has to have more than the other. I just wanted to be with you." Jordan retorted coldly. 

"Wait, I'm not done there's more." Pierce said with a humorless laugh "I had to put up with your crankiness, and trying to find times to meet you and spend money for dinner."  "It was a relationship. I had to deal and compromise you too" Jordan put in, trying to hide the saddened tone that crept into her voice but Pierce ignored as he continued to rant. 

"I swear the only thing that kept me going some days was that.."  "I would give you wishes." Jordan finished. "Not just that" Pierce backpeddled as if he realized how incredible shallow and selfish that sounded.  "You would have broken up with me sooner." Jordan whispered to herself more than to him. She hated how hereyes felt watery. Was she so awful to date that her powers was the only reason people pretended to care to stick around.

"Jordan, Jordan don't get like that." Pierce begged.

"Get out! I told you to leave!" Jordan yelled at him, wiping her tears away, "You are just a selfish ass as the rest of them, don't hide that you aren't!" 

"I explained!" Pierce shouted back but Jordan didn't want to listen. She continued yelling, and crying, anything to block out his continued stream of words and insults.  "Will you just shut up and listen to me!" Pierce demanded, and started rubbing frantically at the inside of the wall. It doesn't work that way you idiot!"

"I wish you would be quiet for just a minute!" Pierce commanded. Jordan was about to retort when her throats constricted.  Pierce looked at her in amazement, "You liar." 

"I didn't know that was possible" she wanted to say but she sat herself at the edge of her bed and waited for whatever asinine wish that would come next. 

Pierce's green eyes sparkled as a slow smile spread of his face, "Forget the motorcycle wish. I want to be in charge for once."  He pounced ontop of her, "Top as you so generously allowed."  Jordan kicked at his torso but Pierce pinned her arms down and clamped his legs firmly ontop of hers. 

"I wish to have sex and you won't fight back." 

Jordan's muscles stiffen and relaxed as so Pierce could move her easily as he pleased.

She had wanted to scream. She had waned to be able to cry out as he fondled her chest but the minute of silence apparently wasn't up.  He finally slid in, and bucked once when she mkaned as the burning and pain filled her physical body. 

She pushed him off and forced her pants back up as quickly as she could. 

"Wait, I said sex," Pierce protested.

"You did it. Our bodies touched, you penetrated. It's sex." She saw his disgusted face "Magical loophole."  "Don't you want to hear my last one?" Pierce called.

Every part of her wanted to throw him out and bang him against the wall, but she knew it would be better to get this over with so he couldn't use it against her on a later date.  She faced him, tapping her foot impatiently not showing the discomfort her body was still reeling from. 

"I wish that you not anyone else won't get revenge on me in bodily harm or libel. No revenge." Pierce announced proudly. 

Jordan's heart took one last plunge. Her mind raced to think of ways to get around his wording, but she couldn't think of any. In frustration at his proud smirk, she threw a vase at him. The vase stopped inches from his face and slammed back at her.  She removed a glass shard from her hair and poofed Pierce away without a word. 

Jordan wrapped her arms around her knees as she brought them to her chest. She became aware of her rather loud sobbing and the hot tears streaming down her cheeks.

She hadn't told anyone what had happened. After all what was there to do. His wish prevented any consequences that ratting him out would bring (libel).

A fresh air burst through the room when Aladdin's eldest son appeared, Aziz. He was one of the few who had unlimited access to her lamp.

Aziz looked at her in surprise, "Jordan what happened?"

Jordan bit her lip, and took a breath to calm down. "My..my ex." "Pierce" Aziz said understandingly. She had gushed to him many times about how happy she had been while they had been a relationship.

"He... you know we're over. He got wishes. He r***" Jordan covered her mouth to prevent from a wail that threatened to come out. "But it's nothing."

"Nothing!" Aziz sat next to her "That was three days ago, he," "No Aziz" Jordan put a hand to stop him "It's okay I'm getting over it. I shouldn't care. I need to deal."

"No. No that's not right" Aziz insisted.

"It doesn't matter. I have to get used to it. I mean it's my second time being raped, besides...it's only going to happen again." There she said it. She hated the idea but it was true. It was going to happen again.

It will always happen.

She got to live forever. She got to live forever being seen as nothing more than a wish ATM. People will never care about her personality, her opinions, even her looks. After all she was a genie, her one job was to grant wishes. That was all on the master, her opinions meant nothing.

In hindsight it wouldn't make a difference if she had no personality. Any lamp seekers wouldn't notice. If they did. They certainly wouldn't care. She was a genie, she was never meant to have lovers or true relationships. No matter what she did, she was an object to be desired.

She gave people what they want. Forever and ever ever.

#jordan #aziz #disney descendants #my fanfic #my fanfiction #give them what they want #Chapter one #tw: rape

[kimchi-noodles]

[Interview] Meychan on his second solo album, “daimeywaku”

”A ‘Total Nuisance’ apearing once in a lifetime, Meychan

Original article from natalie.mu Translation by noodle

Meychan released his newest album entitled “daimeywaku (‘Total Nuisance’ in English),” composed of all original songs.

Meychan, who has performed in large scale events such as “XYZ TOUR,” “Hikikomori-tachi Demo Fes ga Shitai!,” and more, and is also a member of the Youtuber unit “Niku Chomoranma,” has already gained fame with this wide range of activities. This second solo album from him contains songs that showcases his hobbies and preferences, including songs written by Meychan himself, a collaboration song with BRADIO entitled “Horebo Revolution” that materialized from an offer, as well as original songs from vocalo-P’s that Meychan himself had handpicked. In this exclusive, we look into the new generation utaite Meychan’s charm, unravelling how he became a vocalist, his thoughts on his songs, and his stance about his content.

(Full interview under the cut!)

Started singing after failing entrance exams

──How did Meychan decide to start a career in music?

I started singing under the name “Meychan” as a hobby when I was a 3rd year in middle school, but I didn’t start because I was aiming for something big. I had failed my high school entrance exams then, and when I went home I recorded a cover for no reason. After that, my mother entered my room screaming. That was really intense (laughs). She was like, “My son is singing with a loud voice after failing his entrance exams!” (laughs).

──After that, you continued uploading “utattemita” videos during your high school and college days, right?

That’s right. I was uploading songs during high school, but honestly I still wasn’t serious about it then. I guess I was only doing it for self-satisfaction. I started to change when I was in college, when I gained more people who listen to me. I was able to do more things ever since I became a college student, so I also tried to independently organize my own oneman live show. For the first time, I got the chance to earn money by singing, so I think I started becoming more serious about my own singing at the time.

──This is the second time you released a solo album with “daimeywaku” (‘Total Nuisance’ in English). Your first solo album (“Meychan no Atama no Naka wa Daitai Konna Kanji Desu,” ‘Meychan’s Thoughts Sound Roughly Like This’ in English) would be around 3 years ago, but has Meychan’s surroundings undergone huge changes within those 3 years?

Let’s see... I became a Youtuber, and my solo live shows have become more frequent…… It’s only obvious that so much has changed in 3 years, and the way I think about my activities have also changed. My thoughts on being an utaite have sprouted from something I did as an extension of my hobbies, to something that lets me face music as a job. Three years ago, my first album was still an extension of my hobbies, but a huge part of it was about me enjoying being an utaite, so because I enjoyed being an utaite, I was thankfully offered a chance to make a CD. I’ve never made a CD before that, so I only gathered songs that I liked, and eventually completed the album called “Meychan no Atama no Naka wa Daitai Konna Kanji Desu.” 

──Was there a trigger behind you changing your mind about your activities?

There were a lot of factors leading up to it, but one of the biggest factors was probably getting to join “XYZ TOUR.” I’ve been in a few compilation live shows before then, but the consciousness of the performers in XYZ TOUR are way different. The commitment to the lights and sound is also not a joke. I realized “Ah, so there are people who make up a single event while being fixated on such things,” so I’ve come to make up my mind that I also want to be able to reach that level.

An explosive power behind negative feelings

──The biggest difference between the this and the previous album is that you also recorded songs that you yourself wrote for this album, right? Have you already written your own songs before this?

I was interested in writing songs, and I originally had a guitar. But when I decided to actually write songs, I also started learning the piano to polish my musical sense, and started studying about chord progressions. At the same time I also thought about writing lyrics, so in three years, I scribbled down notes about my thoughts on a notepad. The first song I finished was “Victor.”

(Link: VICTOR)

──You uploaded the song “Victor” in April last year, right? How was the feedback upon uploading your own song?

I felt really uneasy before uploading it, you know. I only ever uploaded covers until then, so I only released songs that listeners already know about. But releasing my own song…… this is something trivial, but that means I’ll have everyone listen to something they haven’t even listened to before, right? I was uncertain whether they’ll be able to accept it properly, so I was really nervous upon its release. But if I was going to choose a profession to sing as an artist, I felt that it’s extremely important for me to have everyone understand what I think using songs. That’s why I didn’t have any reservations at all about releasing my own song.

──Were you already thinking about the album when you produced Victor?

I already decided that I would be making an album, but I haven’t drawn out a concrete plan for the contents of the album yet. I got a suggestion saying “All of the songs would be written by Meychan,” but I responded with “No, that’s definitely impossible.” But when I finished the song “Victor,” I felt like I started seeing that kind of album I wanted to make.

──What kind of vision did you have then?

First, when I tried writing one song, I already knew that making an album only with my own songs would be difficult (laughs). But I still wanted to express myself properly with the album, so I thought I should put in everything that I liked and wanted to work on. In its roots, it doesn’t differ much from my previous album, but the things that I can do and want to do have also changed in three years, so even with the same theme, I’m certain that the contents of this album are still different.

──Reading the lyrics of the songs you wrote, I felt that there was a gap between them and Meychan’s public image. Meychan has a strong image of brightness and cheerfulness, but it was as if there was something dark hiding in your lyrics.

Ah, I see. I guess there were several dark parts in the lyrics (laughs). I think I’m still that cheerful being that everyone thinks I am. Whenever I express myself, it’d be easy to produce an output from happy feelings. Like if when a friend gets drunk and enjoys himself, he’d be able to express himself without hiding his feelings. But negative emotions like hate or hidden ill feelings are things that I feel are still stored inside me. Rather than happy emotions, I think that those negative feelings stored inside have a stronger explosive power. In order to get to know me as a human being, I felt that I needed to express those powerful parts within me.

──That means that a different face from what Meychan uses in live shows or streams is in this song, doesn’t it.

Honestly speaking, showing these hidden emotions is embarrassing. There may be people who’d say that they didn’t understand what I’m saying even if they read the lyrics. But I think it still means something to at least read them to try to understand them, and since I chose to work on expressing myself through songs and words, getting others to know me as a human being is extremely important to me. I can’t just keep on saying that it’s embarrassing, I guess.

A “Total Nuisance” that exceeds all genres

──The 3 songs that Meychan wrote, which are “Victor,” “Unusual,” and “Yomaigoto” are all different, and are rich in variety. When I listened to “Victor,” I thought that maybe Meychan’s musical roots were founded in guitar rock, but I suppose it’s not just that.

While I do like guitar rock, I’m actually the type who listens to anything. For example, the song “10-9,” which was written by K.F.J., was released using Maroon 5 as a reference. Recently I’ve been into Ulfuls, and Caravan Palace if you’ll ask about Western music…… I also love funky music, just like BRADIO-san who has also taken care of me in this album.

I gave them a desperate attack, you know. I didn’t expect them to give me the OK.

──Why did you think of giving BRADIO-san a collaboration offer?

This is only my impression, but I think that songs with vague meanings that let listeners give their own interpretations have been popular lately. But BRADIO-san sings songs that are straightforward. That was something I couldn’t do, since it was so cool. I was very much attracted to it.

──What sort of order did you decide on for the collab?

I love the songs from BRADIO-san that have self-repeating riffs like “Koshi Furu Yoru wa Kimi no Sei” or “Golden Liar.” I put together my favorite songs in that pattern and sent them a message with them saying, “I would like to do a song that will help listeners enjoy themselves.”

──And you were also able to perform with BRADIO-san on stage.

I couldn’t make sense of it anymore. The people I used to listen to using earphones are suddenly standing next to me, and are even singing with me while we look at each other. It was so unreal, that I thought that it was all a dream until now. I really did not expect to be able to perform with them in a live show, and I think I might have been a “total nuisance” to BRADIO-san in a lot of ways (laughs).

Speechless about “Number Nine”

──Aside from your own songs and a collaborative song, the album also includes original songs provided by vocalo-P’s such as Tsumiki-san, buzzG-san, Hachiya Nanashi-san, Hayashikei-san, and more. Was it Meychan who chose all of them?

That’s right. I had the honor to choose my favorite composers, and give them offers.

──I mentioned earlier that the lyrics that Meychan writes are dark, but even if you read the lyrics of the songs written by these composers, there are still little songs that show a brighter side.

Now that you mention it, you may be right. Even if they sound cheerful, you can say that the lyrics also hide shadows behind them…...

──Do you usually interact with these composers?

Actually, not much. Of course, I’m acquainted with some of them, but it’s not as if I have connections with several producers, too. This time, the people I asked were people that I usually listen to because I like their music.

──So that you’re saying that these composers wrote these songs while properly looking at your nature as an artist from your songs.

Professionals really are amazing (laughs). When the names of the composers I asked came out, I already had an image of what all of the songs in the tracklist would be like, so I gave them the order expressing how I imagine the songs to be, but I didn’t say much about the lyrics so it must have been a surprise.

──Which of the songs (from the vocalo-Ps) left an impression on you?

Obviously I like all of them, but the one that I thought was amazing was Tsumiki-san’s “Number Nine.” When I first received the song I didn’t even say anything. I didn’t say something like “Please do something like this”; rather, I immediately told him “This will do, thank you!”

“XYZ” is home

──The DISC 2 of the XYZP Edition of the album includes a collaboration song with XYZ TOUR members. You’ve been performing with them several times in live shows, but this is the first time you’ve recorded a collaboration song with them, right?

That’s right. We’ve sung together lots of times in live shows, but recording a song with them felt pretty refreshing. It’s different from usual and here we get to face the song objectively, so I discovered various things. Things like vocal compatibility, or where to put aside someone’s voice, where to add them. I learned a lot, and I think that this will help out with live shows as well. 

──What do you think about your collaboration partners, which are Gero-san, luz-san, Senra-san, and Araki-san?

They’re all my senpais. Gero-san was someone I really admire. luz-san is a senpai who is also my benefactor, always calling me in for XYZ TOUR, while Senra-san and Araki-san are senpais who I often drink with in private. Rather than calling them senpais, they might be more like my drinking buddies (laughs).

──After joining XYZ TOUR for the first time in 2017, Meychan has been joining the tour every year, but how much has the tour affected your activities?

It’s become something I couldn’t wait for, like a kid who couldn’t wait for Christmas. Whenever an XYZ season approaches, I would get all giddy about it. I’ve been doing various activities, but for me, this is the only other place where I can feel like I’m “home.”

──“Hikikomori-tachi demo Fes ga Shitai! ~World Domination @ MetLife Dome,” which was held in June last year, also had Meychan as a secret guest performer, surprising the audience.

Various senpais got to hook me up for the event, so it was a huge honor. People have started paying attention to internet artists, but not everyone from the newer generation utaites get to be noticed. I hope I can be someone who could serve as a bridge between those two groups, in a good way.

──What do you think was the reason your senpais invited you to perform with your voice at such a large-scale event, out of all the new generation vocalists?

That’s a difficult question. I wouldn’t know the reason why they would take me in unless I ask them myself, but I feel like it’s because I’ve worked hard to continue being an utaite that I’ve also gained listeners. “Utaites” originally used to refer to people who upload “utattemita” videos. But recently, there aren’t a lot of people who upload “utattemita” videos anymore. That’s because of certain circumstances like the increase of people uploading original songs, but still I do what I have to do to keep being an “utaite.”

“Utaite Meychan,” now also “NikuChomo Meychan”

──I would also like to hear about the Youtuber unit you’re in, Niku Chomoranma. Your activities in Niku Chomoranma have also become part of your orbit, but there are also people who discover your music because of your activities as a Youtuber, right?

That’s right. If anything there are now more people who’d call me out on the street with “NikuChomo Meychan” instead of “Utaite Meychan.”

──Excluding your Youtuber activities though, you’ve also revealed your face at an earlier stage of your career.

If I don’t show my face, everyone would try to imagine what I look like. They probably wouldn’t help but imagine “He’s definitely a hottie!” or something. That’s why I thought of lowering that hurdle and revealed my face at a fairly early stage of my career. I think it wasn’t awkward for people to see me become a Youtuber thanks to me showing my face, so I want to praise myself from that time for making that decision (laughs).

Being a nuisance more than he expected

──Since you’re releasing the album “daimeywaku” now that your career is on a roll, what kind of album did this become for Meychan?

I think it’s become an album that “I just did.” I freely wrote down my own thoughts, and asked composers for songs that I wanted them to write. I also had the honor to have people accept my collaboration offer when they probably wouldn’t do it in the past. There were a lot of people who got involved with me and I said a lot of stuff that I might have been a nuisance to them more than I expected (laughs). But of course, I’m happy that everyone worked with me, and I’m grateful.

──What was a moment when Meychan became a total nuisance during the production of the album?

Basically the fact that I woke up late and arrived at the recording pretty late. I deeply apologize for being a total nuisance during that time (bows down in apology to the staff).

#meychan #utaite #noointerview #nootranslations #haimeywaku #meichan

[secret-diary-of-an-fa]

Hidden Gems of the Silver Screen (And, to a Lesser Extent, the Telly)

It can’t have escaped your notice that the majority of my more recent posts (and fuck knows I’m not posting regularly at the moment) are about movies and TV. The reason for that is pretty simple: 2019 has, surprisingly, yielded some great movies and TV... and also some really torrid shite. On the one hand, films like Ma, Brightburn and The Perfection continue to breathe new life into the horror genre. On the other hand, sci-fi as a cinematic and televised thing continues to ignore its actual audience in favour of sniffing its own farts in a sound-proof chamber designed specifically for next-level virtue-signalling. One thing I will say about the dreck of 2019 is that it’s interesting dreck, at least so far. Another Life, for example, isn’t just bad: it’s mind-bogglingly, fascinatingly bad, as though someone set out to make the worst TV series imaginable and accidentally created a portal to another dimension made entirely of crap.

With all the amazingly wonderful and transifxingly terrible visual media on offer lately, it’s easy to forget that there’s a rich repository of films and TV series from just a few years ago that you’ve probably never watched. You see if you, like me, are a snooty, card-carrying member of the elitist intelligentsia, you probably missed films and TV series that looked dumb as soup on the surface on the grounds that they weren’t worth your time. Luckily for you, I’ve dived nose-first into the detritus of our dying culture, so you don’t have to, and I’ve ferreted out the diamonds from the pig-swill. Without further ado, I’d therefore like to present my list Easily Overlooked Gems.

1. Mandy The phrase “Nicholas Cage stars in a sword-and-sorcery rape/revenge thriller” does not inspire confidence. It’s therefore easy to ignore Mandy and the promptly forget it ever existed. Which is a shame, because it’s kind of a work of genius. The plot is exactly what you’d expect: a cult kidnaps, rapes and kills Cage’s girlfriend, Mandy, and Cage sets out on a mission of revenge culminating in a blood-bath. The nature of the revenge quest is what puts a sting in the film’s tail- or tale, if you’re feeling puntastic. You see, a lot of the bad guys exist in a constant hallucinatory haze after taking a drug that sent them mad after one dose. In order to fight on their level, Cage has to take a dose too. As a result, the world around him slowly but surely transforms into a nightmare landscape that looks like a cross between a D&D illustration and the cover of a heavy metal album and his grubby, personal mission of fury takes on the unmistakable resonance of a Conan-esque hero’s quest. By the end of the film, you have to wonder if Cage has actually slipped into some sort of alternate dimension or if he’s just lost his game-pieces completely. In places, it’s nearly as painful to watch as Landmine Goes Click (crikey, there’s one for the history buffs) but it looks and feels like Beyond the Black Rainbow. Worth your attention just because of how weird it is. I give it a solid four-out-five decapitated rapists.

2. Baby Driver Nothing about Baby Driver suggested it would be a good film: the way it was advertised as a car-chase movie trying to be cute; the stupid title; the fact that it came and went through cinemas like a fart in the night. Which is a shame, because it’s secretly brilliant. It’s a highly stylised crime film populated with the archest archetypes money can buy (to the point where some of the dialogue has a weirdly beat-poetic feel to it). It’s saturated colour palette and off-beat affect actually have something of a full-colour Jim Jarmusch flick about them. The hook, of course, is that the lead character (only ever referred to as Baby, because he’s got a punchably youthful face) has tinnitus and therefore has to listen to music constantly to drown at the buzzing in his head. The practical upshot of this is that a) every single scene is overlayed with surprisingly great and situationally appropriate music and b) he goes through life like he’s always dancing, so his way of moving lends to the film’s easy-going sense of flow. It also explains where his preternatural driving skills come from (I mean, not really, but within the context of the plot): he’s used to sliding effortlessly into patterns and rhythms because of the music thing. All of this could make a terrible film, of course, but execution is everything and, to everyone’s surprise, especially mine, this flick was executed with an astonishing level of panache. I rate it ten out of ten grizzly motor way pile ups.

3. Nightflyers It’s not just films that get overlooked as the tide of culture washes back and forth, like a great big sea of effluent. TV series also vanish unduly into the dustbin of history. Case in point, the criminally underappreciated Nighrflyers: Netflix pre-Another Life sci-fi offering that was actually good. It’s a pretty classic set-up: a group of mismatched wing-nuts on a spaceship, all of whom have secrets that that will threaten to tear them apart while they try to make contact with an alien life-form. What elevates Nightflyers is just how fuck-uped the cast are. There’s an angry British psychic whose spent his whole life in captivity in case he goes full Scanners on somebody’s head, a guy who only ever appears as a hologram for reasons too twisted to explain here, his evil mother whose uploaded her mind to the ship’s computer and gone batshit crazy, a genetic superbeing and a hacker who can send her mind into computers via a dodgy implant and who may or may not be drifting out of touch with the human condition. It’s great. 6 and half billion out of 7 billion monkeys, boiling in the void.

4. Hardcore Henry No, I don’t know who thought that title was a good idea either, but the point is that Hardcore Henry has no motherfucking right to kick as much arse as it does. It was clearly made on a budget that would embarrass a Youtube shampoo commercial, but it just flat-out rocks. Shot entirely in first-person, it follows the adventures of a mute cyborg as he seeks revenge against the bastard psychic entrepreneur who first built him then tried to kill him. Along the way, his main ally is a dude who keeps dying and coming back to life in a series of identical bodies but with radically different personalities and haircuts (this is eventually explained, but I’m not going to spoil it for you). It’s premise is demented, it’s surprisingly well-choreographed and its soundtrack is an aphrodisiac for your ears. Also, Tim Roth is in it, so that’s just yer seal of quality right there. It came out to a lot of fanfare and many, many cinema trailers back in the day and was then promptly forgotten about as soon as it launched. So I’m dragging it kicking and screaming back into the limelight. It’s on Netflix right now, so go watch it. I rate it a solid 11 out of 15 creepy duplicates of Tim Roth.

5. Upgrade Another lesser-known film about a cyborg. Unlike Henry, however, this cyborg’s life doesn’t so much ‘rock’ as ‘suck balls’. He gets crippled and then ends up with a sentient computer chip in his head that allows him to remote-control his own body despite not having a working spine anymore. Naturally, his experimental tech attracts the attention of some unsavoury characters and he and his brain-chip have to work together to figure out what’s going on, often through a series of ultra-violent, gory fight-scenes that horrify the protagonist himself. Of course, all might be well, except that the head-chip is a homicidal little shit that clearly has its own agenda. I give it at least 0000 0111 out of 0000 1001 painstakingly restored vintage kill-bots.

6. The Tick The Tick isn’t as overlooked as everything else on this list, especially since there have been a couple of previous televised incarnations of the franchise to lay the groundwork. However, I still feel like the modern iteration doesn’t quite get the love it deserves, so I’m throwing it out here. Following the adventures a mad, amnesiac and possibly stupid superhero and his neurotic sidekick, The Tick explores a world where superheroes aren’t the paragons of good from classic comics, the corrupt psychotics of The Boys or Watchmen, or the eternally struggling, walking moral life-lessons of modern cinema. Instead, they’re just ordinary people operating at various levels of competence/incompetence and mental illness and working within a bureaucratic, wildly inefficient framework. That might not sound like a recipe for a successful TV series, but it really is. Drawing out the mundane, human side of heroes and villains against the backdrop of cataclysmic, civilisation-threatening events makes for infinitely compelling and very, very funny viewing. It’s kind of doing for the superhero genre what Futurama did for sci-fi a few years back. It’s also where the phrase and/or popular song ‘seven billion monkeys boiling in the void’ comes from. My rating is four out of five sapient, homosexual boats (which will make sense when you watch it).

7. The Void Amid the high-budget horror extravaganzas of recent years, it’s easy to forget about the void, which feels like the best story H.P. Lovecraft never wrote and looks like David Chronenberg tried to adapt a Heironimous Bosch painting... in the ‘80s. The actual plot concerns a group of people getting trapped in a hospital by murderous cultists and discovering dark secrets and, arguably, a whole other dimension in its basement. You’re not exactly there for the plot though: The Void is a mood-piece and an exercise in visual FX craftsmanship. You’re there to drink in the atmosphere and see what each new cosmic horror looks like. I am delighted to award it ten out of ten unspeakable whisperers in the darkness. That’s enough for two barbershop quartets, an emcee and a supporting act.

8. Happy Death Day It’s Groundhog Day but as a horror film starring a really annoying lass in her late teens has to keep dying horribly until she learns to stop being such a terrible person... and also kill her murderer with a little help from her newly-minted, non-cunty friend. There’s a sequel that I haven’t seen yet, but the original is a low-key, oft-overlooked delight. I give it 9 out of 11 suspiciously similar corpses.

#Secret Diary of a Fat Admirer #films #tv shows #movies #Mandy #Baby Driver #Nightflyers #The Tick #The Void #Tick #happy death day #Upgrade

[lil-purplebird]

Handle with Care - Chapter Twelve

Fandom: Pokémon

Rating: NC-17

Genre: Romance/Drama

Words: 22,220

Pairing: Mewtwo/Mew

Summary: Having been loving mates for five years, Mew desires for a baby, even though Mewtwo feels the opposite, believing he cannot have offspring. As strong as their bond is, receiving nothing but bad news and unfortunate events slowly tears them apart and pushes their relationship to the edge. A fragile heart can break in any hand that handles it for too long. It can be put back together as many times as possible, but it’ll never be the same.

Note: while the fan fic is still on-going, uploading the chapters are going to be sporadic at best. The chapters may be uploaded daily, weekly, or whenever I get banners finished.

Can also be read here.

Time no longer mattered the more Mewtwo allowed himself to be consumed by his research. As a parallel of his nomadic days, he wandered in search of answers, a light at the end of the tunnel, anything that could be of help. He was plagued by dreams, perhaps nightmarish visions, of the Mew he once knew and loved taunting him with happy has-beens and what-ifs. And that was if she let him near her. In person was a whole different experience.

He had taken Dr. Mime's prescription to heart and made his first attempt to talk to her in weeks, but it wasn't the progress he had expected. She never once looked at him, nor showed she was listening, and her silently getting up to head outside could've caused him to snap had he not been so willing to try. At the very least, he knew she wasn't going to leave the house for long periods of time if she was intentionally avoiding him, though the cold rejection made him take pause from trying again.

But there was a question that had been bothering him for some time, shackles fastened to his heart that only Mew had the key for. It had caused sharp stings when it first came to mind, and the longer he pondered on it, the more it adapted to gentle squeezes to dull the pain. He couldn't bring himself to approach her about it, yet as he wandered out of his study to prepare a quick meal, the window of opportunity was open that very moment—literally, as she was seated on the windowsill. Back still turned to him, as usual, though her tail swayed slightly from the breeze.

He hadn't gotten a good look at her in quite some time, he realized. The distance between them had blurred some details on her he used to be wary of, and he was certain she wasn't so frail before. She was still eating so she wasn't losing too much weight, yet she just looked so loopy, so out of it. Perhaps she developed insomnia, or she found a way to hypnotize herself—a thought that made him ill to his stomach.

Shaking off the dark thoughts, Mewtwo stepped forward to be behind her. "Mew?"

Outside of her tail's uninterrupted swinging, she didn't make any movement from her spot at the window. It was hard to tell if she was even listening. He took a breath to coax himself into speaking his mind, consciously raising his voice to ensure she could hear him.

"Mew... when did you love me?"

She remained silent. His hands clenched, a reflexive tic he had been meaning to break.

"I am sorry for asking such a ridiculous question. I have just been bothered by it lately, and..." He trailed off, unsure how to continue. It had been such a long while since he last talked to her that he hoped his voice hadn't grown jittery. It couldn't be helped that his mind kept berating him for thinking of such stupid concerns because of course he knew the answer to that. If she didn't love him, she wouldn't have requested becoming his mate for—

"...I don't remember."

He felt his heart being ripped out of his chest, and the fragile hope he had desperately been clinging to slipped from his fingers. Despite being spoken in such a soft monotone, it echoed in his ears until it overtook his thoughts.

"What about you, Mewtwo?" He flinched, having not expected the inquiry, not when he was just barely comprehending it. "When did you claim to love me?"

Mewtwo fought to steady himself and cover his new weak point, but he was already losing it when his eyes drifted downward. "I... still have feelings for—"

"I don't care about what you feel now. I asked when."

She didn't even wait for him to give a response when she suddenly swerved around in her seat. The dull glint in her irises caused him to drop his stare again as a chill struck the raw hole his heart was dangling from. He wasn't focused on anything in particular, trying to pull his thoughts back together when she let out a harsh scoff.

"Not that it matters. It's typical of a male to have eyes only for the body."

His figure twitched at the accusation, wondering if it was actually just a coincidence Mew caught his gaze hovering on her lap for that split second. He didn't follow after her when she got up and strode by without another passing glance. The click of a door down the hallway snapped him out of his frozen state, and he cracked the sill with his fists upon crumpling to his knees.

*~*~*

A vine snagged the hammer mid-swing, allowing Mewtwo to blink down at the splintered wood he had been working absentmindedly with, feeling his co-workers' stares on the back of his head. It was unusually silent at the playground, though he hadn't been paying close attention to their chatting or bickering, if any. They had found the time to construct a long-overdue addition to the park as planned, though the clone had randomly decided to re-work the previous structures so he could have time to himself. That hadn't even been an hour ago.

His jaw locked up slightly, knowing Vic's words before he voiced them. "You should go home, Mewtwo."

The memory of Mew sneering at him still hadn't faded from mind, her words continuing to eat away at him. Shaking his head, he stated, "No, this is my top priority right now." He jerked his arm to free it, but the Flycatcher Pokémon tightened his grip on the tool.

"We have it under control," he said, eyes narrowed in concern. "You've been working yourself to exhaustion one-too many times, and frankly, we can't stand by any longer. Go home to the mate."

"I have nothing to return home to." He managed to yank the hammer free, but he instead gathered up the broken wood as he rose to his feet.

Mewtwo couldn't tell anymore if he was lying to himself to excuse why he was pushing himself to work longer hours. Even with his testy attitude, he was still making the attempt to converse with Mew in spite of her rebuff from that moment. Yet, there had still been no progress, no sign she was waking up, and his pessimism was catching up to him.

Swampert snatched the wood to stop the clone as he was passing by, sternly meeting his glower. "Just so you know, I respect you, 'Two," he said, voice low. "Even when one of us—or at least me—irritated you, you've done so much for us and never expected anything in return. So I think it's about time for us to rectify that." He eased the bundle and hammer out of his hold, looking tense as if expecting to be lashed out at. Mewtwo felt a painful twist in his gut for even thinking it. "I can only imagine the pain you two are going through, but this is nothing to work yourself to death over. Leave this to us."

So much for working his woes away; he must really be a wreck if he could be talked into going home. Though even with such bitter thoughts, Mewtwo had no energy to spare to be dismissive toward his peers for looking out for him. His expression fell slightly as he turned to catch their silent nods.

"I should at least stay on the sidelines—" he started only to be interrupted with gruff throat clearing.

"We've already made up our minds," Wiles spoke up, puffing out his chest. "If it'll make you feel better, we're not going to rush this, but we'll finish with or without you."

"Fingers crossed, boys!" Rugby crowed, then eyed his paw as it flexed.

When Swampert patted his back, the feline closed his eyes in defeat, feeling a small smile grace his mouth. "I will hold you to your words," he yielded. "But I will not hesitate to return should you call for it."

In agreement, they let him go without another word. He dusted himself off as he was passing the construction barricades, glancing over his shoulder when he heard someone jogging up to his side. Goddard didn't slow from the eye-contact, which he had to tilt his makeshift hat to do so.

"I'll walk you home," he offered.

"No need—"

"I insist."

Mewtwo didn't have the energy to argue, so after the water fowl gave a webbed thumbs up to the others, he allowed him to follow. He half-expected for it to be in silence to give his thoughts a break, but almost as soon as the park was out of sight, Goddard took the opportunity to speak.

"Sir—I mean, Mewtwo. Sorry if this comes off as insensitive, but..." He quickly trailed off, a frown on his beak. "No, I shouldn't. It was stupid to even think about..."

Not wanting there to be awkwardness between them, the clone gave in. "Ask away."

He nervously scratched at his chin, the gem on his forehead shimmering as his head canted. "Nngh... before... before things turned out for the worse, erm... Well, I mean, were you excited? Or proud about it? The egg, that is."

Mewtwo had figured he was going to ask about the egg during his stuttering, clearly trying to approach it carefully. He couldn't blame him for his hesitance with such a raw subject. "...There was a time, yes," he responded, his tone soft-spoken. The memory of him smiling down at the egg in his hand had faded into the background as time passed, so although he couldn't recall that fleeting feeling, his behavior showed in his mannerisms and stance.

Goddard seemed to relax some. "So... it's normal to be worried about an egg, then?"

"I would assume so, given how fragile they are."

"Yeah, this was stupid of me to ask," he muttered, slumping his shoulders with a sigh. His gaze strayed over to the treetops. "But it's just that I still remember how you looked with the egg, and I was kind of... expecting that to happen with me... Kind of like it did for the others, you know?"

So Mewtwo hadn't imagined it when the Azumarill walked away from their yard. "Congratulations."

Goddard got more flustered from the sudden praise. "W-Well uh, Aqua hasn't—she hasn't laid it yet. She's supposed to any time now, and uh... Thanks."

Nodding and looking up as the house came into view, the clone then swerved sharply off the path. His colleague let out a quack of confusion, but hurried up to his side. "Whoa, what was that for?"

He paused right beneath a tree and leaned his back on it, keeping his gaze down. "Let me know when Lil is finished."

"Oh, huh?" The Duck Pokémon peered over at the house. "Is that a bad thing?"

"Not at all. It... just has been a while, is all."

He didn't want to go into more detail, and luckily his companion caught on and turned back to the path to keep watch. Eyes glued to the splotches of light filtering through the trees' shadows, Mewtwo undid the tool belt to drape it over his forearm when it started chafing. Right then he noticed from the weight a few tools were missing, though he had no use for them at the moment. He trusted they would be returned to him later in the day.

"Oh, here she comes."

Pleased he didn't have to wait long, he stepped out into the sun when the Lilligant was in earshot, looking light on her feet in spite of the solemn visit. Their gazes crossed paths as he wordlessly nodded to her, expecting to pass by when she stopped with a graceful twirl. "What's troubling you, Mewtwo?" she asked softly.

"It is nothing to be concerned about," he answered, a little too hastily. He didn't wish to be rude to the Flowering Pokémon, though as relaxing as the atmosphere was around her, he was still a little petulant.

If she noticed, she didn't let it show on her petite face. "I dropped off some herbs for Mew," was what he scarcely heard, but it got him to pause and look back at her. "They're for aromatherapy, though I do recommend using the rosemary for tea. They should relax her."

Goddard sighed, hands rested on his hips. "More like you need them most, gotta be honest."

Despite the quick shrewd glance he sent his colleague, Mewtwo knew he couldn't argue with that. "Thank you for your help," he said. "Even though it may not seem like it, Mew is grateful you have been looking out for her."

Lil's leaf-like hands rested before her waistline. "I sadly don't have much to offer, but I just want you to know Tangrowth and I understand what you're going through, and are willing to listen if you ever want to talk."

He blinked in surprise. It was all on him for not making an effort to befriend Tangrowth, and therefore learn of it, but it was suddenly hard to take in. They were still newly-mates, coming up on their first year, and yet they hit this cruel roadblock. From what he could tell with Grass-types, fertility was hardly an issue between them—although as he came to expect, there were exceptions.

Not wanting to press for details, he carefully worded out his inquiry, "Is... it hard?"

She glanced down in thought, her sparkling scarlet eyes glazing over for a moment. "Sometimes. I know it's outside of my control, I just can't help feeling really bad about it because Tangrowth would like a few sprouts, but he still chose me despite it. So we had decided together very early on to instead put that mindset into raising strawberries. Though admittedly, we're growing a bit too much." She giggled, like that of tinkering bells as she blushed. "In fact, I'm actually inviting the whole community to come pick strawberries next harvest. I'm hoping you and Mew will join us, though you don't have to pick them if you don't want to, Mewtwo."

While he wouldn't express it out loud, he wished her optimism was contagious. "Thank you. I... hope we can come, too."

Lil put her hands together under her chin. "Oh, good. Tangrowth would like to talk to you more, but I guess he hasn't said anything since he's a bit shy. So I'll pass along to you that he and I had prayed day and night that your egg would hatch."

"You are too kind."

Her face lit up as her eyes smiled sweetly, then her flower crown twitched as she turned to their silent peer. "Oh, congratulations on the egg, Goddard."

He jolted. "Eh? How'd you know—did she lay it already?" A wheeze was squeezing its way out of his beak.

"No, I just knew."

Mewtwo politely cleared his throat to hide a chuckle. "Thank you for checking in on Mew," he said, body half-turned to resume walking. "And thank you for the generous offer."

"Not at all." Lil waved, swaying like she was in the breeze.

"And Goddard, I appreciate you accompanying me home," he added to his colleague. "Please return my tools when you are finished with them."

Steady on his feet again, the water fowl smiled. "Sure thing, 'Two—I mean, sir! Er, uh... yeah, sir."

He smiled in amusement, and made his way to the house. He didn't show it on his face that he could sense their worry swelling until he reached the bottom of the slope, keeping his back turned as his calm demeanor dropped. By then the pair had left, and Mewtwo felt the weight of solitude pushing down on his shoulders. Approaching the front yard, he paused to lean against a fence post for a quick breather.

Once he talked himself into entering his home, he nearly knocked over the basket of herbs that had been left on the floor. Hissing under his breath, he snatched it up as he stepped inside, barely glossing over Mew laying on the couch, back to him, until he noticed how unusually stiff she was. Her breaths also sounded irregular, like she was having trouble breathing or was trying to hold it in.

"Is there something wrong?"

"Eh?" she choked, her shoulders wincing. "U-Um... why should you care?"

That wasn't what he wanted to hear, but her response was good enough. "I just talked to Lil," he reported with a huff, hanging up his hat and tool belt. "It was considerate of her to bring you herbs, but it is rude to leave them in front of the door."

She made no other movement to look at him, though she was stabilizing her breathing. "You can have them," she murmured. "Why don't you grow your own garden?"

Mewtwo's knuckles cracked when he swiftly flexed his fingers, trying to keep his composure. Right as he was walking past to drop the basket off in the kitchen, he happened to take a second glance, noticing the tips of her ears were red. "Are you sick?"

Possibly because of his tone of voice, she twitched again, almost curling in on herself. "N-No..."

Her timid reaction concerned him, though he counted down in his head before speaking up again. "If you need assistance—"

"No, I do not!" she snapped, swiftly sitting up to leer over at him, her face flushed. Even with faded eyes, it was the most emotive she had been in weeks, but he wasn't fazed by the outburst.

He broke the gaze to leave the room when he did another double-take at the couch. "Mew, did you wet yourself?" he asked, watching as she tensed again. "Is that what happened?"

With pursed lips, she hurried into the kitchen before he could get another look at her face. "...I'll clean it up right now."

Mewtwo didn't immediately correct her that he knew from the scent it wasn't urine. They never brought attention to it, but it wasn't entirely abnormal for Mew to have what the humans called a "wet dream". Since they'd first mated, there were nights he'd get up for a drink or for the bathroom and find her face flushed and breathing slightly more rapid, then he'd connect the dots to her cleaning up in the morning. There had even been a few times he himself had such nocturnal emissions, but occurrences became scarcer over time (and he'd counteract such dreams by then being spontaneous with Mew). What he found a little disheartening in this case was the time and place; she had to have only been napping on the couch anytime between when he left and when Lil visited.

Scanning the cushions once more, something caught his eye that got him to lean in for a closer look. Pinching one of the clumps of rosy fur, he instantly gritted his teeth. Damn it, Mew... if you would just let me help you...

He stood back up just as she paused in the entryway to glower, a damp washcloth clenched in her grip. "What the hell is wrong with you?" she seethed, voice deathly quiet as her tail whipped at the base. "Why're you sticking your nose in it?"

The accusation rubbed him the wrong way, but he knew her thought process would have her take his words and spin them against him. Instead of talking back to her, he just swiped his finger across his muzzle as he walked into the kitchen to store the herbs away, intentionally keeping his back to her. There was no indication she got the gesture, no other sound came from her nor did she follow him, making him crack a sly smirk. But as he let the moment sink in, he got more and more upset with her and with himself.

It was shameful how easy it had become to turn their backs on each other when she wasn't fighting him off. He didn't like raising his voice to her in the slightest, and their arguments would just end up going nowhere, but at least it was some form of communication. At least she would acknowledge his presence instead of ignoring him, but he never could shake off Mime's statement about it.

If she was indeed thinking of him, why would she actively avoid him? He would understand if she was angry with him, but he sincerely wished to talk about it. And yet, she seemed... content with locking him out.

What is the point of us being mates if she refuses to reach out?

Mewtwo nearly dropped the herbs he was putting away when his body racked with shivers. It was a dreaded question that kept popping up now and then, but it had stayed in the recesses of his mind where it belonged. He didn't want to consider it so soon, not when he was certain there was a better solution to their problem. Casting her aside to let her fend for herself was something that could prove disastrous in her current, vulnerable condition. If not sooner, it would become apparent later.

Shaking his head clear, he stared down at what still needed to be sorted out until his eyes drifted to the cluster of lavender buds. Glancing down at where dust still clung to his fur, he let out a slow sigh through his nose. Perhaps his co-workers had a point in sending him home, and Lil was kind in sharing her remedies with them. There was more to Mew's condition than she was letting on, but any form of relaxant would help with rational thinking and soothing the body.

Filling up a tea bag with the buds, he finished storing the herbs away then carried it with him for the bath. Mew wasn't in the front room, and the bedroom door was still cracked open as he passed by, so she had to have left the house—odd that he didn't hear her, although he was that deep in thought to tune everything out. Closing the door with his tail, he took out the washcloths and a towel from their shelves and stepped up to the tub, checking it for residue before turning the knob all the way. Once hot water was coming through, he pulled the drawstrings and dropped the tea bag right by the drain, and then wet the washcloth to rub on the soap.

The clone spent the next few minutes scrubbing himself down, eyeing the light pouring in through the frosted glass. It felt silly of him to think about bathing close to the afternoon when he could still head back outside at any time, perhaps minutes after getting out. There wasn't even any guarantee Mew would want to take an early bath, let alone an herbal bath on her own accord. And with her being out at the moment, she may not return for a while without him tracking her down to drag her back. He snorted at the thought, mentally kicking himself for acting too hastily—or desperately, he felt in this case.

Mewtwo nearly reeled from the combination of heat and lavender scent as he shut off the tap. Either his sense of smell was too strong, he used too much of the buds, or a little bit of both. If it was already too much for him, Mew would be overwhelmed by it as well. Perhaps he could soak first to test it out before turning it over to her, but if the steam was going to fill up the room with the scent, that alone could have the same effect. And personally, he didn't want to come out heavily smelling like lavender, even though the house was going to be permeated with it throughout the day as is.

Just as he sat back down, he heard the door open, but only managed to catch a glimpse of pink before it was slammed shut. It should've been a small relief she hadn't been gone for long after all, yet his brows furrowed as he felt his morale start to sink. She was becoming more difficult to read as time passed. So she thought about an early bath after all, but wasn't she aware it was occupied if she didn't want to stay?

The thought bothered him. They hadn't bathed together in months, so he shouldn't have been so disappointed by her reaction. Did he honestly expect her to take in a good look, or for him to quip about the intrusion before she could turn away? What good would any of that have done?

As soon as he finished his rinsing, he pulled out her seat and checked the bathwater before exiting the room, rustling the towel over his torso. He paused when he unexpectedly spotted her sitting by the door, arms and tail curled around her knees. She didn't even glance up at him, though he quickly averted his gaze in the off-chance she were to yell at him for staring.

"I already prepared the bath for you," was all he told her before he strode for his study. Just as he was closing the door, he watched her slip inside, and he slowly took a breath.

*~*~*

Steam coated the water and left condensation on the tiles, carrying the faint scent of lavender through the room. The tap was still dripping while Mew peered dully down into the tub, eyes hovering on a tea bag sitting by the drain. She wasn't going to soak after washing, anyway, but that was a suspicious sight. Just what the hell was Mewtwo plotting in getting her to come out smelling nice? Was he trying to tell her something about her hygiene? What was his end goal here?

"How disgusting," she darkly muttered.

Plopping herself on her step stool, she soaped up the wet washcloth, but didn't stop even when the bar snapped under her fingers. The squishes were nothing but white noise, and the tinge of fir mixing with the lavender was more of an annoyance than sweet. Wringing the cloth tight, she ignored how the suds dribbled onto her thighs, then balled it up to rinse and repeat.

Mew blinked rapidly upon recognizing her drowsy state, letting the gnarled washcloth hang from her fingers as she stared at the floor. Focusing her vision, she could just make out her dark reflection, but it was mostly a blur. It was probably for the best; she didn't want to see what she looked like. Sitting back, she noticed something else moving before her. Squinting, she could just make out a familiar figure looking at himself as well—no, he had his eyes on her.

Glancing up, the feline wanted to tell Mewtwo off for coming into the bath, but she couldn't find the voice for it. It had been a long while since they last washed each other, she could at least give him that right to get it out of his system. Letting out a small huff, she whirled around in her seat and held out the washcloth over her shoulder. "Do your thing, and then get out."

Nothing happened, not even a breath sounded. Her jaw hardened as a vein throbbed in her temple, her fingers curling tighter against the cloth. The silence was maddening, making her squirm impatiently.

"Well?" she hissed. "What're you waiting for? It's getting muggy in here, and I want to get out, but I'm not leaving my back dirty." She hadn't even washed her front, but she wasn't going to give him that satisfaction, knowing him.

There was a shift in the air, and Mew let out an exasperated sigh—only he didn't take the cloth from her. She flinched as the tips of his fingers raked slowly up and down her back, almost in a massage. Her mouth opened to snap at him, but she straightened her spine in response. With no resistance, her arm dropped to grip the back of the stool as she raised her head, eyes falling shut. She felt her frustration melt into the blissful darkness, deeply breathing in the heat that enveloped her.

His hands put more pressure on her lower back as he bent down, firm lips feathering the nape of her neck. The feline sharply sucked in air through her teeth, brows knitting upon recognition. "That's not what I meant!" she groaned, though she couldn't will herself to shrug him off. Her head tipped back when the clone leaned in further to circle around, nose skimming the soft flesh beneath her chin. "Mewtwo, you jerk..." was her next breath, steadily losing her train of thought. "Oh, Mewtwo..."

Her diaphragm went taut beneath antsy fingers, tracing along grooves of her sternum and edges of her rib cage. He mouthed her jawline, suctioning his lips to a faint, but rapid pulse as her heart pounded harder. She couldn't bring herself to turn her head in his direction, though she was twisting in attempt to get him to move. She was vaguely aware the washcloth had fallen from her grip, but she was more focused on how slick his touches were becoming due to perspiration.

Purposefully or not, his hand slipped to her thigh where soapy water still lingered. With it smeared on his palm, he immediately glided over to cup her groin, an action Mew knew he planned, but still found herself floored by it nevertheless. Scarcely able to tell the difference between fluids, she lifted her hips with a mewl through parted lips.

"N-Not fair—ooh!"

Slipping off the stool, Mew used it as a headrest as he quickened his pace, about to rub her raw. As she kicked out a foot, her toes bumped against an object, which she hazily noticed peeking over was phallic in shape. Scarcely moving from her spot, she dragged it over and squeezed it between her legs, gasping at how it pushed against her entrance when Mewtwo withdrew from her. She twisted it around using her thighs, marveled by the way it slid along the folds and put the perfect pressure on her clitoris.

"Please," she whimpered. "Take me, Mewtwo..."

He didn't take heed, his way of teasing her. A little frustrated at his lack of a response, Mew lifted herself and held his penis in place as she lowered herself onto the tip—only to struggle getting it to penetrate.

"Nngh... why can't you get in?" She bit back a yelp from an angled push, blinking down at the oblong shape. "O-Oh... when did you get so round? And so thick...?"

Abandoning the attempt at penetration, Mew hugged the base of the shaft and leaned in for a lick, moaning at its slick surface. Mewtwo never tasted that good, she recalled, but waived it off the harder she kissed it. As her mouth closed over the head, her tongue brushed against odd bumps she knew weren't there before, though it was driving her wild. How had she not noticed it before?

For a moment when she squeezed him, Mew wondered if he climaxed, but it was a sharper pressure that caused her to choke. Shoving him away, she was accosted with water and swallowed more stray droplets wrong, bending forward to cough her lungs out.

She flinched when the door opened a little too hastily, and she blearily stared wide-eyed at Mewtwo as he looked her over. "Are you alright?" he asked, sounding a little strained.

Something deep down inside her flipped from his concern, a prickling reminder of how he was checking up on her. It was quickly overridden with irritation at his interruption. "I'm fine," she snapped, still a little breathless. "How long have you been out there?"

"I was in the study when I heard you coughing."

Her ears flattened, not liking that he had an immediate answer. "That's a lie. You just want an excuse to come in here to peep on me."

The clone's brows twitched. "Why would I do that?"

Mew didn't know the answer to that, but she still didn't need a reason for why he had to barge in. She crossed her arms across her chest, twisting her back to him. "You've got a good look at me. Now get out!"

Mouth set in a thin line, Mewtwo roughly shut the door when he left. She waited until she was certain he wasn't listening in before grabbing the shower nozzle to turn it off. Refusing to get in the tub, she remained curled up where she sat, growing numb from her damp fur.

*~*~*

The lavender buds gone to waste, Mewtwo had to reconsider using the herbs as they were, but he held off on making any tea or more herbal baths with them. At first, he had to pick which stalks he could hide near where Mew would sit, knowing she'd throw them out if she found them. When that wasn't working, he extracted oil from a few when she was out that he decided to squirt near the furniture, by the windowsill, in the corner, wherever he felt she could still catch a whiff. But then she was moving around, and staying outside longer—which would've been a good thing for her to get sunlight and air if he wasn't trying to talk to her.

He sought to approach her about why she was regularly avoiding him and to figure out what it was about the attempts at aromatherapy that bothered her, but as always, she was dodging the questions or making accusations. He hated having his words twisted around and being condemned for showing concern for her personal welfare. It frustrated him that Mime had to tell him to "keep it up" when he gave the first progress report, because the doctor chose to hone in that she had "newfound" energy in leaving the house. She wouldn't let him accompany her, which was the desired effect in mending their relationship, but having any interaction with the outside world was seen as positive, even if he felt otherwise.

Every other night, the clone continued to do his research, including going back through the texts he had previously read to see if he had overlooked anything. Looking more into depression was a good start, though he felt it went deeper than moods. It had to have manifested sometime in her past, perhaps a previous trauma she had repressed that got triggered back to the forefront. Maybe there was something from her childhood that affected how she viewed adulthood, or just the lack of a parental figure in general. She had to teach herself, after all. It was probable she had gotten the wrong information of how to act or behave like her own species, instinct notwithstanding. She also had multiple mates in such a short amount of time, which had to be rather unusual behavior even in Pokémon. Her obsession (not a desire like previously thought) with wanting kittens had to have played a role—

Mewtwo suddenly halted his skimming and went back a couple of pages until a lone word popped out in italics.

Addictions.

Something clicked in his head he had been looking in the wrong direction. She was depressed, of course, but what led to it? Was she always depressed, or was it after the loss of the egg? She kept saying she "missed" him, always putting emphasis on it. What did she mean by it, exactly?

It was clear the textbook was only touching upon the subject given it took up a page-and-a-half. The main addictions mentioned were drug and alcohol abuse and how it caused chemical deficiencies, but that wasn't Mew. No, he had to go more into behavioral.

He searched through over half of the books he had on him until Mewtwo believed he found it. There was not much of it written (and the text noted it was considered debatable), but what he read brought him pause. He reviewed it, paused some more, and then read it again out loud, slower to take it in:

"...'distress about a pattern of repeated sexual relationships involving a succession of lovers who are experienced by the individual only as things to be used'..."

And the memories came rushing in like a tsunami.

"We must have sex for a month."

"There appears to be no sign of ovulation... Mew cannot remember her last heat cycle—if at all."

"Every one of them... they didn't care for me!"

"She had about fifteen mates prior to you, Mewtwo, give or take a few."

"Please take me with you as your mate."

"The night we met, I hated myself."

"I had thought for sure that he was going to be the one."

"I want kittens."

"You're no different from them! None of those bastards cared for me, so why should you?!"

"It's always the male that leaves. The female has no right in saying who goes and stays."

He remembered the dark thoughts he had after they had their fight and she went after Marjorie. There were all of the accusations that flooded his mind afterwards of her lying about her past mates and using him for sex. All the times she was coy, eager, brought to tears... how easily she yielded to him their first night... He wasn't in the clear, either, for having unintentionally fed into it once he accepted his libido, but he was uncomfortably correct.

"Oh, Mew..."

He shakily pushed himself up out of his seat.

*~*~*

"Ha... mmm—ah!..."

Pushing tiptoe on the mattress, Mew gyrated her pelvis to rub flesh against the palm of her hand before her fingers pinched. She pursed her lips and pressed her tongue against the roof of her mouth in attempt to silence herself, but the temptation to sigh was too great. Flipping onto her stomach, she grazed her lifted clitoral hood along the wrinkled sheets and gasped into her pillow.

She didn't know where she was going with her thoughts of Mewtwo, if he was still licking her or allowing her to grind her hips into his abdomen. He was more-or-less just there gazing down on her and not making a sound. She once questioned his silence, wondering why only the sounds of her breaths and heartbeats filled her ears when usually she could hear his groans and the bed crackling under his weight. Not to mention the headboard sometimes thumping the wall whenever he got rough, which she hadn't heard in a while, either.

"Ooh..." She shakily reached out to grab the bars, and hoisted herself up to thrust her hips as hard and fast as she could. Outside of clitoral stimulation against his midriff, she didn't have the body mass to reproduce the same weight and friction to get the right rhythm she was looking for. But it didn't matter that she couldn't get Mewtwo rocking with her, she felt like she could still become one with him from the way she sank into him.

"Ah-ah-ahh—HA!"

Mew trembled and froze as she gauged the moistness between her legs, but her orgasm still held off. She was just in reach, a few more brushes should do...

"Mewtwooo..."

Her eyes blearily opened half-lidded, still feeling his name linger on her lips. She ached and twitched from ballasting herself, and though her skin was hot, the cold emptiness of the room kept her from feeling her own body heat. That was because he was always the source of warmth, from the way he would run his hands over her pelt as he held her to his chest to how his body would loom over her and shield her from moonlight. The back of her neck prickled from the thought of him behind her, noticing her pillow had replaced him without her knowing.

Swallowing to rehydrate her throat, Mew turned her head to look at the door like she expected him to be standing there, watching and waiting, perhaps even enjoying the view. He only just wanted to see her from a different angle, was all? Eyes drifting downward to watch him stroke himself, her claws restlessly tapped the bars as her hips jerked involuntarily. A squishy pillow was a poor substitute to his firm abdomen, but it had to do. She couldn't let him down.

Shifting her weight, a sharp gasp sounded deep in Mew's chest as a thick sheath suddenly pushed against her opening and slid past the tight walls. Tightening her grip as Mewtwo took her, she angled her pelvis while still keeping in contact with the pillow. Normally he didn't do it from behind because she liked looking at him, but for tonight she'd make an exception. At the risk of friction rubbing her raw, it wasn't often she felt two textures simultaneously touching her bead.

Panting thickly, Mew tearily glanced up to find Mewtwo had stepped up to the bed, penis still in hand as he hovered over her. She scarcely focused her vision past it at the lustful smirk that graced his face, feeling her mouth water as she crawled forward without further enticement. Grabbing onto him, she leaned forward to lasciviously lick it, running her tongue along the length of the shaft. The thought about its wooden taste was nothing more than a blip on her radar, her mind too clouded with desire. She couldn't take him fully into her mouth, although it didn't stop her from trying.

"Mewtwo... you're too big for me," she mewled, her lips cradling the tip. "Oh, God, you're so big..."

The withdrawal from between her legs left behind a wet prickle as she got off the mattress. She gingerly climbed on top of Mewtwo's lap, wondering for a brief moment why he wasn't laying a hand on her to aid in her balance. As she lowered herself on his erection, she twitched at the smooth push against her entrance—and she struggled to burrow him inside.

"H-Hey... why aren't you coming in?" she whimpered, wriggling her hips and stroking his girth. "Mewtwo... Mewtwo, please..."

She trembled the longer she couldn't open up further, her breath catching in her lungs. Something wasn't right, she always accepted him inside. She could take him with little difficulty, albeit not fully. Her thighs hugged around his stiff circumference when her vaginal walls constricted at the thought, feeling hollow, incomplete.

As Mew lolled her head back to meet his heated gaze, a thought teased from the back of her mind: Why not make him jealous? Make him beg to give you a good fuck.

She furrowed her brows slightly, unsure what that meant, but her eyes trailed back down to the pillows. Slowly licking her lips, the feline got up to return to the bed in a kneel, pulling one of the cushions between her legs. Running her palm along the creases, she skimmed her vulva on its surface for a test. A tingle spread upward into her abdomen, and closing her eyes, she hurriedly put pressure to curb the growing throbbing in spite of her need for penetration. Her stomach knotted, unused to the idea of her putting on a show for him, yet she was faintly acquainted with the smooth, rhythmic strokes.

"Aahhnnn... oooh... sh-shit..."

With a well-timed shift and squeeze of her thighs, she slipped her paw below to pull back the sticky clitoral hood and purred, rocking her pelvis in quick successions. Movement beneath her sent her sliding onto her backside, repositioning her legs out from underneath to keep them from cramping. Glancing up with a breath to find herself once again sitting in Mewtwo's open lap, Mew paused in thought, noticing his eyes had softened, as did his figure. He rolled his hips forward, and the feline was mesmerized by the rippling curves and perkiness that wasn't on him before—it was oddly feminine. Another feature she found unusual was she couldn't feel his genitals beneath her, but there was something wet pushing against her that took her a moment to register.

Since when could Mewtwo change sex? was her puzzled thought.

The feline realized she became breathless after another slick skim, and once she regained her bearings and stretched out a foot on a thigh, her hips lurched forward to keep pressure to her folds. Mewtwo moved against her, and with a deep sigh, Mew fell back a little bit and returned the thrusts. Gnawing on her bottom lip, she watched themselves gently rock back-and-forth against each other, taking in the size difference and musing how she could even rub up against anything. In her mind's eye, she recalled a vague memory of being in a similar flexible position, though she didn't have to stretch that much. What she had liked about it was how much her body cried in need for penetration every time flesh meshed, yet relished the lack of it all the same. Even long after the years had blurred the memory, it still remembered that heavenly sensation she had shared with another...

Oooh... oh God, that's good...

Sweat cascading down her body, Mew propped herself on her elbows and spread her thighs to quicken the grinding, panting through her teeth. The clone shifted again to go rougher, showing off some plentiful bounciness that made her gasp from the sight and lament that they couldn't press their chests together without parting. Fantasizing she had her own pair to caress, she let out a string of mewls at the warm moist rubbing on her entrance, even trembling from how frequently their clitorises flicked together.

"Yes, yes, oh Mewtwo, yesss!" she moaned, adverse to tearing her gaze away to tilt her head back, hands kneading her chest. "Ohhh, harder, push harder! It feels so good... so smooth... ooh!"

Hurriedly scrambling to her knees, Mew ballasted herself over Mewtwo's writhing figure and wildly lurched her hips, even angling more to stay connected. Hanging her head for a moment with a groan, her fingers crept up her hot figure, taut abdomen quivering at the touch. Before they reached her watering mouth, she whimpered when her lovely mate prodded and circled her puckered lips, the knobbed ends coated in thick fluid—her fluid—and a curiously furry texture. She opened wider to take it in, swiping her tongue along the underside.

"Mmnngh—mm-mm-mmMM!"

Mew staunchly flattened their puffy cores together at orgasm, her eyelids fluttering and drool dripping out of her mouth as the object pulled out. She blearily watched her tail flop to the side, and once she slumped in exhaustion, stared down at herself. Her thighs still hugged the pillow to herself, her eyes slightly widening at the glistening wet spot that covered the entire bottom half. Slowly, she bucked to brush her throbbing vulva across it again, finding intrigue with its cooling stickiness and loving how it felt, but she missed the reciprocating pressure of a partner. Then she noticed the pinned tail, and as it bumped against sensitive flesh from sliding away, her figure spasmed and she tossed back her head with a startled gasp. Without meaning to, she met Mewtwo's familiar needy gaze as he eagerly jutted his erection more against her raw mound.

Although she had found herself grown used to (and wanted more of) the curvaceous Mewtwo, she managed a smile at how passionate he had become. "M-Mew... two... Ah... you ready to do it for real?" With wavering breath, her eyes closed and spine arched as he pricked her entrance, and her mate shifted forward to push her backward on the bed to claim her.

*~*~*

The sheets rumpled in his grip as Mewtwo fell to his knees, body limp. Resting his forehead on the mattress, he breathed heavily, vainly trying to divert his thoughts elsewhere while still thinking of Mew. He tried to button his lip to soften his sobs, but when her big, bright blue eyes locked on his gaze in yearning, he couldn't help a throaty groan.

There was no getting around that he could no longer hold back. It had been too long since he last held her, last kissed her, last knew her. He was beginning to forget her loving caresses, her gasps at his ear, her heel digging into his thigh, her tail looping around him as he entered her tiny body. He had five years' worth of memories to sift through, but they weren't the present time. Interspersed were fantasies of what he had wanted to do with her, of what he would like her to do. As much as he loved her, she was so reserved in bed, always having to be goaded with his touches into reciprocating. What he would give to have her take the initiative more, like when they were in the back room of the clinic and she took him into her mouth...

Mewtwo sat trembling as he watched himself unsheathe. She just had to be so delicate, didn't she? He could hardly be rough with her out of fear she'd break under him, and she could scarcely fully take him. That lack of trust in himself to not hurt her kept him from expressing his wishes and going all out.

You like having sex with her, he reminded himself, swallowing as his throat went dry. Stop over-analyzing it. So what if you cannot go all the way in? Not everything needs to be perfect.

A headache was steadily thrumming to life the more he struggled to think of something else, yet words such as "succession of lovers", "things to be used", and "addiction" mockingly circled around him. It didn't help that the voice in his head transitioned to Mew's like she was there whispering them in his ear. His member twitched from the thought, burning in need for her touch.

This is wrong. I should be with her to help her. And help myself—no, just her! It is Mew who needs help, not I!

Mewtwo gasped when fingertips gently skimmed his penis, and glancing down, he ran his thumb along the weeping tip as he pulled back the foreskin. What he'd give to have her there and bury himself into her frail. If she were any bigger, she could comfortably sit in his lap and throw her limbs around him, squeezing him closer to better match his momentum and breathing. Perhaps she could have a fuller chest, as well? Would she be firm pressed up against him, or would she be pillowy? Could she whisper her naughtiest thoughts against his mouth, and would she beg as his hands ran along her bouncy figure?

"O-Oh, Mew...!"

He nearly jumped out of his skin when objects clattered around him, removing his hand as he whipped his head around. There was no one else in the study with him, yet his books, papers and tools had been scattered on the floor. Exhaling a trembling breath as his heart pounded against his rib cage, Mewtwo moved to stand, but his knees were wobbling too much and his groin too hot to ignore. Hoisting himself to sit on his bed, he gawked at the mess before dropping his gaze.

Was I...?

He opened and closed his hands for a long moment to let it sink in, taking notice of how his softening member twitched the longer he dwelled on it. It felt like something in the back of his mind was scratching to get out, pleading to take over for a while. It was going to drive him mad if he didn't do something about it soon.

...should I...?

In an abrupt movement, Mewtwo strolled over to the door just to pause before it, staring at the wood. He didn't know why, exactly, he thought he felt Mew's presence outside. It was faint, possibly a result of them not being as close anymore, but it was her. Perhaps she had been startled by the noise and was coming to check it out—a thought that got his hand hovering at the doorknob, thinking about what expression she might have on her face. If they could talk it through, however, they could come to a solution together, perhaps even reconcile...

The tender notion then faded as quickly as it came, leaving behind an aching void. He was foolish for getting his hopes too high. Besides, he heard nothing beyond the door to indicate she had even considered leaving her room. Such a daunting thought accompanied him as he picked up a few books to return to his studies, but he couldn't take in any new information.

*~*~*

"This has been troubling you for a while, now?"

Staring listlessly at the floor, sluggishly kneading his brows, the clone nodded as Mime jotted down some notes. "It has only just been a week, but I can barely stand it," he murmured. "The more I fight it, the more I know deep down I am going to lose."

The morning sun still had of yet to ease its spindly rays into the study. Mew had her appointment earlier, which supposedly played out no differently from the last session in her being uncooperative in answering questions. He couldn't get a good look at her when she left, but she had seemed more restless. Mime had of yet to bring up anything that was said between them, which he concluded meant there were more private matters brought up as a result of the rift separating them getting wider. And as they jumped immediately into probing his mind as soon as he sat down, he was quick to get to his current state.

"Why does the thought of masturbation bother you so much?" The doctor took a quick sip of what little was left of his drink. Mewtwo couldn't figure out why it was Mew even bothered putting tea together if she wasn't going to touch her share. "It's clear here you do not enjoy it, so there should be no reason to be fretting over it."

Eyes drifting back down, he sighed through his nose. "It is because she is not there with me. I think about her so much that I sometimes wish my thoughts would manifest her before me, and we would be together again." Now that he was hearing himself speak his thoughts, he was aware of how much it sounded like he was sniveling. He had legitimate concerns, but there was a lack of coherency. It was somewhat embarrassing.

"Does it have any correlation with your lack of sleep? You've been studying well into the night, I take it?"

Mewtwo scarcely passed a glance at the textbooks he had sloppily shoved under the bed. "To be frank, I am unsure anymore. I only ever seem to have erotic thoughts, which just get worse the more I look into it. I thought a change of subject would help."

He was being vague about what he had been reading up on lately, but he trusted Mime to catch the hints he was dropping and push for more information. For some odd reason he didn't mind wanting to share his findings, even if it was just to clear his conscious.

Mouth scrunched in thought, the Mr. Mime scribbled down another note. "Have you ever desired sex before Mew?"

"No." The clone paused in remembrance, and not just for good measure. "At least... not in that way. At first the concept disgusted me, then upon looking into it further on a biological standpoint, I became intrigued by its hidden intricacies. Yet I had no desire for a mate, so my body never had a reaction. The night Mew and I consummated our relationship, I suppose that was awakened in me, though I did not recognize it. After some time passed, I realized I liked it, and that soon grew into a love for sex."

"That's normal."

He almost chuckled, wishing he could believe it. "So I love sex because I love Mew. Or do I love Mew because I love sex? Which was it that awoke inside me on that night?"

"Males develop emotional bonds with their mates through intercourse," Mime explained. "That's just how dopamine works."

Mewtwo could believe it. He never dwelled on it, having always been too high with bliss each time they rested after intercourse, but he had found it curious how easily he opened up to Mew a little more as they lay together. It had tended to ebb by the morning, though gradually over the years, it steadied out to where he equally enjoyed his time with her at all times of the day. She became his closest companion, and before he knew it, he had stopped inwardly struggling over the thought.

Perhaps that was due to all the sex they had, and subconsciously he knew that had a grip on his emotions. His mind, however, wanted to prove it wrong. "That may be how nature designed it to work, but Mew and I defy nature just by being together. I had to have loved her before we became mates. After all, she had fallen in love with me by then."

"How did you know?"

A quick palpitation of his heart almost kept him from answering. "She told me. Why else did she come to me to become my mate?"

There was a small rattle behind him that perked him up, but he figured Mew had just left the house and he dropped his eyes again. Mime hemmed as he mused, "Your stress levels need to decrease if you wish to help Mew."

"But if she loved me," the clone continued, his thoughts running off the rails again, "then why did she leave me?"

"Mew never left you, she isolated herself."

He just shook his head for a moment. "I do not like being alone. I was alone for so long that I became numb to it, to the point you could say I was used to it. Yet I feel like despite the circumstances surrounding my birth, I was not meant to be alone. My creators were there, but I had no connection to them. I was the only one of my kind by design, and it was as if the weight of the world closed in around me."

There was a sudden flash of an image that went by too fast to comprehend, but there was a feeling of nostalgia that lingered. When he tried to think back to it, Mewtwo hissed from a sharp throb in the back of his head. He was aware Mime got to his feet, and hurriedly turned down any aid he offered. Gently massaging his temple, he took slow deep breaths to dull the ache and quell his trembling.

"I... I had dreams in that cultivation tank," he whispered. "At first I thought they had happened, but I have no memory of them, so I wrote them off as just dreams. They were the most realistic dreams I have ever had, however... It is not a pleasant feeling to have, so I do not dwell on it much anymore. But there was a time when I went looking for that place in my dreams, even sought out the faces..."

"Faces of whom?"

He gritted his teeth as he fruitlessly tried to recall the images. The best he could conjure up was a simple white dress, perhaps the shapes of small Pokémon. "I cannot remember. I get excruciating headaches just trying to think back to it..." His gaze drifted to the sunlight that finally started seeping in, a sight that he oddly wasn't happy about. He seethed at the tiny pools of light, almost daring them to touch his skin.

Dr. Mime seemed to have noticed his mood, but didn't comment on it. "What was your life like before coming here, Mewtwo? Were you always alone?"

Still leering at the light, he shook his head as he slumped back in his chair. With the confidentiality of their session in mind, he answered truthfully, but sparsely, "I had created clones like myself to combat my loneliness, albeit for a more selfish reason. I was close with them, but at some point we all parted ways. The odd thing is I did not mind being alone after that. Perhaps it is because I had a choice in the matter, and I chose selflessly to let them all live their lives. I had made my own decision to live the way I did, and I was content with it."

Mime hadn't written anything down in some time, which Mewtwo was secretly relieved about. He listened intently with small polite nods here and there, and he hardly showed a reaction to the glimpse of his past. "And yet you fear loneliness," he noted, his tone of voice calm to show he had no intention to poke holes in his statements. "Perhaps that was one reason why you chose to become mates with Mew, because the opportunity presented itself to combat it?"

He mulled on it for a moment to gather his thoughts. "I had been used to the concept of loneliness that if I did fear it, I was unaware of it. I had taken it for granted, but five years living with Mew allowed me to recognize the opposite feeling of what I had known—of what I was missing. The thought of turning her down that night is almost alien to me now."

"Would you have asked Mew to be your mate?"

Mewtwo's brows furrowed in discomfort before shaking his head. "Never on my own terms. If we had gotten to know each other longer and I had developed an interest in mating, I could have considered the thought, but I do not believe she would have been my first choice. What got a hold of my attention then was she was the one to approach me, and it was difficult for her to do. She was the most... nervous I had ever seen from her."

"Nervous" was too simple a word to describe what she was like that night. He used to smile fondly at the memory, but further analysis brought to light the implications behind her anxiety of being less "nervous" and more "desperate". She was bold in telling him her feelings, that he admired, yet he had felt something breaking under pressure that she tried to keep at bay. As much as she ultimately had him wrapped around her little finger that night, it was an emotional tug-of-war that they called a truce on to join in union.

Mime shifted his weight as he picked up his cup. "Want my educated guess?" he asked for permission, which Mewtwo nodded for him to continue. "You observe a lot, Mewtwo, soaking up information one after the other and seeking out answers to get a better understanding of how or why the world is the way it is. Curiosity is a trait that's commonly associated with younglings, but it's healthy to ask questions, to stimulate cognitive development. This is because you cannot gain experience from just being a bystander, you must become a participant."

The doctor paused to finish his drink, giving the clone a moment for it to sink in how perceptive the Mr. Mime was. He recalled the many crossroads of life he had come across that crafted his character: his many accomplishments and mistakes, the lessons he learned, the wonders he saw, the people he met. Every crucial point of his life was a result of him taking action when he could've easily remained an observer. How much more different would his life had been if he had been more accepting, more quiet, or just more obedient? Could he have still chosen his own path as readily?

"If you had chosen to not accept Mew as your mate," he resumed, cup still in hand, "you might not have been able to learn of your fears, at least not as fast. You would still be walking the earth and still be content, as you put it, but would you have ever faced your fears? Ever come to terms with them? Ever been able to live?"

Mewtwo winced slightly at a quiet whisper in his head, but he couldn't bring himself to bring it to Mime's attention. He could sense the session had come to a close from the way he wrote something down on his clipboard and got up from his seat, and prolonging it sounded selfish. While he felt the doctor would be intrigued by his thoughts, learning about why "life is wonderful" was a long-term goal he wanted to answer on his own.

"I find it interesting how you two are so far apart from each other, and yet you share the same concerns," he mused out loud.

The feline blinked in surprise. "We what?"

Mime quirked a brow, tucking the clipboard under his arm. "I've been doing a little digging of my own, and found it's quite common for two psychics—of any species—to share psychosis. But it almost always leads to disastrous results."

Mewtwo wasn't liking what he was eluding to, but he cautiously leaned in. "...we have become psychotic?"

He canted his head from side-to-side. "Not necessarily. Psychics have to be extensively trained from a very young age to control their powers to keep their minds from falling apart, but even the most senior of psychics can fall victim if they're not careful. There's a human term for it: folie à deux—madness of two. It's been mostly documented with lower-leveled and poorly-trained psychics, so I just can't help wondering the effects it'd have on someone of yours and Mew's stature. You're still grounded in reality for the most part, it's just been Mew who seems to straddle that line. And from what she's told me, she must like it that way."

As much as he wanted to know more about the condition, something told him the double entendre was intentional. "Pardon?"

"I don't feel it's a coincidence you're just as hung up on your lack of sex as she is, Mewtwo." He gave a stern stare that made him nearly look away. "I've told you to talk with her. When you're not, she loses what it's like to have companionship while still desiring it. It will become more and more difficult to get her to stop engaging in fantasy the farther away you two drift from one another. I'm honestly surprised she hasn't gone off looking for an actual body yet."

Unintentionally, Mewtwo rose to his feet with clenched fists and teeth, his gaze hardening. "What are you implying, doctor? That Mew will become a whore?"

Mime was unfazed by his sudden behavior. "That's not what I'm saying at all. How about you, Mewtwo? Have you ever had or are currently having thoughts of Mew being a 'whore', as you're accusing her of?"

His mind cruelly overlaid a recording of himself reading the definition over an image of Mew sprawled beneath another male, one of many he had thought of in the past week. Quickly regaining his composure, he shook his head and went over to his desk to hunch over it. "...I... I do not want to believe it..."

"Pokémon being promiscuous is nothing new, but putting such human terms on their behavior is hardly fair." He found himself agreeing with the doctor, though he still couldn't relax his tense muscles. "Many Pokémon have multiple mates in their lifetime, although that typically means having offspring with different mates. And mating for pleasure is limited to a few species, it seems, though exceptions exist. I'm going to be honest that given the rarity of her species, it's plausible she was just prone to it."

"If she is tired of me, she should have just left," Mewtwo hissed before he could stop himself, whirling back around to face him. "But it was Mew who suggested we be mates for life."

"...I see." Dr. Mime let out a slow sigh, rubbing the back of his neck as he glanced outside. His voice then lowered, "This community is quite the oddball, Mewtwo. Most everyone here has had more than the one mate, and yet the mates they do have are the ones they are raising children with. And here, of all places. This is not a breeding grounds, it is just someplace humans don't travel to much."

"What are you getting at, doctor?"

"Outside of you and I, no other Pokémon here has had human interaction. My hypothesis is the Pokémon who have congregated here with their mates are all wired differently from the general population. And as the need for companionship is hard-wired into our DNA, like-minded individuals will always find each other, someway." He gave a small, sad smile, age showing once more on his face. "Mew has everything she needs here to recover, but only if she allows it, and if you are open to it. I know you truly care for her, Mewtwo, but something has got to give if you two are to move forward."

At that, Mewtwo reluctantly dropped his eyes to stare at his hands, his destructive hands.

He offered to go with Mime back to the clinic for the mere purpose of returning the books, but the doctor insisted he keep them on hand a little while longer. And as he lingered in the doorway to watch him depart, his thoughts went over what he said as well as the concerns of their neighbors. Glancing at the bare soil that once flourished with Mew's handiwork, he wondered about the gift of herbs Lil had dropped off. They were more for calming purposes than seasoning, and far as he knew they hadn't been touched since he stored them away.

He hadn't used all of the sprigs, but there was a limited amount, and he was running out of a few of them. While grateful for the gift, he knew they couldn't keep leeching off their neighbors' generosity. Even if it was just to calm her down with scents (which she was consistently rejecting), he had come to accept he wasn't doing a proper job at it. But on the off-chance it were to start working, he'd need to have the knowledge to do it, as well as regular access to supplies. Though in being honest with himself, it was so he could have a way to clear his head.

Mewtwo thought about telling Mew he was heading out, but as the bedroom door had been closed since leaving the study, he believed she was getting a little more sleep. Besides, he figured he wasn't going to be out long, and he'd be back in time to fix themselves breakfast. And so, he exited the house to take his first step to starting his new nurturing hobby.

*~*~*

One of the hands running along Mew's chest slid up to poke its knobbed fingers inside her mouth, subduing her moans just before she curved from soft skims between her shoulder blades. Breathing sporadically through her nose, the feline rubbed her cheek against the muzzle nestled in the crook of her neck, writhing her hips in tandem with the pelvis digging into her backside. A leg snaked over her thigh to draw her closer, and the unoccupied paw raked grooves down her abdomen. Their tails coiled out of reach, tips stroking, with the thicker appendage easily pinning the smaller of the pair.

There was movement as her partner feathered up her face to lick at her ear, bringing her to bend backwards without breaking skin contact to catch a quick kiss. The freed fingers held her by the chin to keep her still as their tongues danced and explored, Mew's heart fluttering from the dual wet texture of their mouths and between her legs. Without parting, she half-flipped onto her back until their chests brushed, dropping a hand to knead a firm breast.

Mewtwo was going the extra mile, having remembered her unfulfilled desires and changed much more than physique to meet her conveniences. It had taken a few trysts and some trial and error before the transformation could come smoothly, now at the point where the clone was ready at first eye-contact. Not that the rosy feline wasn't satisfied to begin with, it was just that the new form tired less and was softer on the body no matter how rough they would get. Though it amused her that the sex had gotten better as a result...

She sighed into the kiss from the memories. Even as their pelvises met and slowly rocked in yearning, Mewtwo still fondled her, burying deep inside to blindly search for a raw spot. Mew whimpered and swerved her legs around to rest them on the shoulders, sinking far enough into her pillow to sloppily break away and gaze up at her beautiful mate.

"We know she's not real."

Her eyes snapped over to peer at what had to be a mirror sitting at the foot of the bed. At least, she thought that was what she was seeing, but it was just a lone figure of herself, staring at them with contempt. Brows furrowing slightly at the interruption, Mew muttered, "Why should it matter?"

A shrug, glassy eyes narrowing mischievously. "Because the real one feels better."

As Mewtwo pecked along her chest, she winced from a small twist to sensitive flesh. "What real one?" she grunted out.

Her reflection's face curled slightly into a devious smile. "'What real one', indeed."

A moan escaped her parted lips as the clone sat up to impatiently grind their crotches together, her ankles slipping from the momentum. Mesmerized by how the breasts and curves swayed, their hips gyrated with irregular speed for a few rounds without parting. Mew's heated cries then petered out upon noticing her other self hadn't moved from her spot, let alone changed her expression. Growing self-conscious about her performance, the feline reached up to grip tighter and lunged harder against her, breaths shortening out over swift slapping flesh.

"Hah-ha-ahh, Mewtwooo—AAUGHH!"

Her voice suddenly contorted with anguish at a bolt shooting up her legs, a result of harsh penetration. Feet still hovering at Mewtwo's hips, she was distraught to find he returned to normal in size and anatomy inside her, though their eyes didn't meet. She convulsed from the increasing thrusts, realizing the pain had extended further into her abdominal cavity like a dull knife searing into her flesh.

"Mewtwo, wait!" she gasped, tightly gripping the pillow. "Y-You're too far in! It hurts!"

A quiet laugh vibrated at her ear, hands gently cupping her jaw from behind. "'It hurts'?" was the coo. "But don't we like pain?"

Mew threw her head back more to gape up at the sly smirk plastered on the illusion's face. Her legs tingled from the blood rushing to her hips, having an unsinkable feeling Mewtwo wasn't going to slow down any time soon. Shaking her head, she whimpered, "O-Only the good pain!"

"But if pain hurts, how can it be good?"

Her eyes fell shut with another cry, growing nauseated from her rocking. "Mm-mm-mm... M-Mewtwo hurt me..."

"Oh, yes," her double sighed, sounding lost in a memory. A paw gently slid up to touch her cheek, slowly tracing a circle, and she realized it felt too real to be a mirage. "He was very sorry, wasn't he? Though he never did apologize for the other time he hurt us, has he?"

Mew squirmed once she dropped from her face to her chest. When their eyes met, a sinister gleam flared in her still-faraway gaze, and her paw slipped down her figure to cup her clitoris. Sharply gasping and bucking her hips, the feline reached up to push her away only to end up fondling hers as well.

"If he were like the other males, we'd have left him a long time ago, wouldn't we?" she purred, slowly swaying to her touches. "At least then, he wouldn't have had the chance to hurt us."

Distantly, she realized Mewtwo had pulled out of her, but he didn't move away. Her abdomen quivered when his hand caressed it, weaving around her reflection's arm but moving no further up than her ribs. Mew darted her gaze between them, her breath catching at the smoldering look they shared.

"So why does he stay?" her other self continued to whisper, leaning in closer. "Why do we still want him inside, even though he hurts?"

A quiet whimper was silenced when their lips touched right as their fingers entered each other. The kiss only lasted for a few seconds until she pulled away for Mewtwo to take her place, hardly giving Mew room to breathe. The difference in pressure sent her mind spiraling, opening her mouth out of habit for him as she stroked his jawline with her other paw. Images flashed through her mind's eye of her mate holding her, seeing him shrouded in moonlight, covered in dust, reclining in the bathtub... resting on his side as they held hands.

"It's because he's a good lover."

Mew couldn't tell if she said it against his lips, or if it was from the mirror image of her. She mewled when his thick digits also fondled her, not seeming to mind the second hand already preoccupying itself with her. Pushing up on tiptoe to encourage them to go deeper and flattening herself on the bed, she slinked her tail between his thighs.

"But that's a lie."

Her heart skipped a beat when Mewtwo forcibly lifted himself from her like she burned him, yanking her tail away. Exposed and aching, she mourned the loss of his touch and dropped her hands until another twist disoriented her thoughts. Turning her head, she froze at the icy glare drilling into her soul.

"It's because you don't love yourself."

Even if she wanted to, she had no rebuttal to give, instead quietly admitting to herself there was truth to it. Laying a paw over her heart, she willed herself to break the gaze upwards for the ceiling, thinking of the nights she and Mewtwo had worked at trying to get her pregnant. "I-I just..."

"What good will having kittens do for you?" was the retort. She winced at the harsh tone and from when a hand roughly caressed her stomach, claws lightly scratching her skin. "You were happy to know you being infertile meant having all the sex you could milk from him."

"No, that's not—" Her voice stuttered when her reflection compressed herself into her side, mouth peppering along a shoulder. A leg hooked over her hips to roll her closer while the petting increased. "Get off!" she gasped, shoving her away.

"That's all you're ever good for, sweetheart," the shadow drawled, licking her lips. Her frosty irises roamed her body as she giggled. "You're just a good fuck. That's as unmotherly as it gets."

Mew rapidly shook her head, trying to crawl away from her prying eyes only to find herself in a warm lap. She let out a yell when strong hands held her down, spreading her legs for room. "Hey, wait!" She shivered at the lecherous smirk on Mewtwo's face as he rubbed his erection against her slick entrance. Looking up to find her double smiling fiercely and her fingers suggestively hovering parallel to her clitoral hood, she didn't need an explanation for their intentions.

"I've gone mad," she whimpered to herself, eyes tearing up. "I'm in a bad dream."

Chuckling under her breath, the second Mew strode forward with a swing of the hips. "Your fantasies get wilder every day, toots. But it's what you've wanted."

"I-I didn't want this! I swear!" She tried to throw off the hand when she was gripped by her chin.

"But you do want to know what it's like to mate with another of your species. It's why Mewtwo's so irresistible." Mew gritted her teeth to bite back a whine, squirming uncomfortably from the intrusive erotic thoughts that suddenly bombarded her mind. "And with two of us here before him..."

"No!"

A commanding look was shot up at Mewtwo, and he released her, allowing her to be swept up in the other's tail and pulled into a body hug. Try as she could to fight her way out, she was forced to keep eye-contact as her figure was felt up, unhurried and sensual to relax her tense muscles. She could scarcely stay afloat, but was too tangled up in the appendage and probing limbs to even fall away. A teasing nip to her neck got her to jerk and grab on, her breaths growing shallow.

"Why're you doing this?" she managed to choke out, scrunching her eyes shut as a finger stroked her mound.

"Because it is what you want," was the sultry purr, snouts bumping when she raised her head. "Deep down, you want to mate with another Mew, but alas, it's just been you." She chuckled, her breath ghosting over her lips. Mew's mouth dropped in a strangled cry when her labia was pried apart, feeling hot liquid oozing down her inner thigh. "Mm, slippery. Just the way Arceus intended."

She was then pushed to the bed, her assailant straddling over her hips. Wrists pinned above her head, the feline looked up in time to watch her duplicate lean in for a full-body massage, putting the most pressure on her abdomen. She found it difficult to breathe from the added weight, but more-so as she twitched against her each time her teats were stimulated. Her legs flailed to kick her off, but they were wrestled down in return and entangled beneath her.

"Stop fighting it," was the demand, angling her backside upward. "You like how it feels. Yield yourself to your desires as before."

Weakly shaking her head, Mew gave a pitiful mewl, "No, please..."

"And leave Mewtwo unsatisfied?" A nod was gestured in his direction with a click of her tongue. "You're such a bad mate and a bad tease. This is a rare sight for him, so at least have some courtesy to give him a good show."

Her eyes flickered briefly over to where he sat, taking note of the thin film of sweat being smeared along his swollen penis. Quickly turning her head away, she whined at the lick to her jugular, feeling her vaginal muscles automatically squeeze. "I-I..."

"Would you like to be on top, instead?" came the muse, a smile quirking on her lips. "That should be more empowering."

With little effort, she rolled themselves over so Mew was forced to peer down at her shadow. Her neck too tense to keep up for the moment, she collapsed into her hold, their lips meeting as a result. A hand gripped the back of her head to prevent her from moving away, the kiss growing in vigor. She hardly could keep up, her muffled protests quietening down to contented moans as she became accustomed to letting her partner lead, their bodies pressing closer. The only ineptitude she felt was whenever they tongue-kissed overtly and messily, done to give Mewtwo a better view.

Gradually they slowed, resorting to licking and nipping each others' lips to catch their breaths as hands wandered. The rapid sound of wet flesh came to a grinding halt as a groan rumbled from the clone, and Mew choked on a gasp when she felt drops of sticky fluid splash over her back, returning her to her harsh reality. Feeling a little sick to her stomach, she squinted down at the bottom feline, disturbed by how she leered beneath her lashes.

"Turn around, slut," came the growl, tongue between her teeth.

Gulping, Mew shakily lifted herself to turn in a half-circle, purposefully avoiding looking at her lone spectator. Resting once more on her belly, she glanced down at the glistening mound, hesitantly pulling it back for a better look and feeling herself widen as well. When she flicked the fleshy nub, she, too, jerked from the same touch. Easing a leg to the side to make room for her head, she cautiously leaned down to pucker her lips on the clitoris, wincing at the skim of teeth from below.

That shouldn't be happening, her thoughts whispered anxiously. How am I—

"Lower," was the murmur behind her, claws pricking her hindquarters.

She tried again, brushing her lips to sensitive flesh. The movement was also mirrored between her legs, making her breaths quicken and her stomach to churn. "No, I-I can't...!" she attempted to gasp.

"Do as I goddamn say!" came the hiss, and she squealed in surprise. "Use your tongue and lick me like the bitch you are!"

Mew half-expected Mewtwo to step in and stop it, perhaps even pull her into his arms where she belonged, but a swift glance in his direction crushed that hope. Trembling, she gave in to the demand and ran her tongue along the bitter folds, trying to ignore the same sensation being done to her but failing. She couldn't prevent a moan from emitting in her throat, didn't miss the slight differences between the slimy textures. They started to move their hips, as much as they held tighter to keep themselves still.

There was something about her scent that was catching her off-guard. It might've been the familiarity of it, making her question what was her species' natural musk, but it was being covered up by the pheromones. Pheromones, she realized, that she shouldn't have even been affected by if they were coming from herself. And yet, it got her to think past the wild tang that bit at the tip of her tongue to delve deeper and faster, getting the same treatment in return.

Was this how Mewtwo felt each time he had his head between her thighs? Although she wasn't a fan of the taste and couldn't speak for him, did each lick and each breath drive him just as crazy?

Her neck still ached, and there was a pinched muscle in her back, but she didn't want to be snapped at again. Pushing her cheekbone into the inner thigh, Mew dabbed at the side of her clitoris, keeping brief contact as she circled around it and ended with a gentle suck. She fought back a whimper as her pelvis spasmed, nearly ramming herself into her partner's face.

"Having a hard time up there?"

It was an oddly teasing tone when it had been just minutes ago she was getting jeered at. She wet her dry throat, still keeping her head down. "U-Um... I can't hold this pose..."

She heard a soft apathetic scoff until it was replaced by a sigh of disappointment. "You need to work on your flexibility. Same goes for your technique."

"But I've never done this before."

"You were thinking it earlier." She yelped in shock when a hand smacked her behind. "Now get up, but don't get off."

Taking it easy to stretch out her back, Mew scooted herself into a sitting position while remaining on her knees, glancing over her shoulder to find a look of boredom on her reflection's face. She raised a brow up at her, then rubbed a thigh to her vulva, a tingle coaxing out a startled gasp. "H-Hey, no!"

"You should know your likes and dislikes, what gets you hot and bothered. You're still on top, so now act like it."

Unable to counteract, the feline gently pushed the leg away, then lowered herself to sit crisscross with a shaky moan. Like her partner had expected it, her hips immediately elevated to roughly grind against her, and passing a glance to their enchanted spectator, they then rolled in sync as voices fervently climbed. Flesh wasn't fully touching outside of some pressure and skimming to the clitoral hood, yet she could feel themselves become slicker and stickier with each swaying motion, accompanied by a yearning to be filled with something, anything. When grasped tightly in place, a succession of hard bucks got her to coo and push back more firmly in return as a pleasurable numbing spread further up her body, licking her lips in anticipation and hugging the bent knee to her chest. And for a euphoric moment, their duet crescendoed as their thighs squeezed and groins melded from a suction.

Flipping herself around to better look her in the eye, Mew kept a leg hooked over a thigh and straightened out flat, letting out a wailing sigh upon resting together at the pelvis. Their hips hastened their rocking, finding herself loving how their teats brushed every now and then the higher their ecstasy soared. Blinking down at her mirror image, she wondered what it was about her sharp, devious gaze that bothered her.

She jerked at a furry, bulbous end stroking against raw flesh. "Fuck me with your tail," was the command, just as she wriggled it inside without missing a beat. "Shove it in if you have to."

Whimpering, Mew obeyed, finding it not as strange a sensation as the thought implicated, and she slid through the cavity with ease. Then again, her tail was acclimated to her size, even though it wasn't enough—

As a pair of hands gripped her hips, she whirled her head around with a gasp. "Wait, what're you...?!" She could scarcely finish before Mewtwo entered another orifice, and she let out a scream at the stretching, yet odd stimulation that came from the penetration.

She didn't realize she had stopped pumping until her head was yanked back by the ears. "Harder, you fucking whore!" her partner barked. "Move your ass!"

"Ah—AHH, AHHGH!"

"Ooh, you like that, don't you?" The laugh that burst out of her throat was cruel. "If you want more, sing for me, toots. Tell me you want me."

Mew really didn't, she wanted to have ended it long ago. But something inside her broke, too overwhelmed by everything she was taking in. Now she couldn't speak her thoughts, not when her voice was betraying her with moans that wavered from increased momentum. Sighs echoed in her ears, and her lips constantly craved for kisses, no matter how biting. Their legs were in a tangled mess to stay joined, almost pulling her away from physical contact with Mewtwo who appeared very invested in their sexual escapade. Before she knew it, she couldn't pick out his touches from her double's, and presumed he stepped back to give them room to tussle about and explore each other uninterrupted. Then losing herself to lust, she abstained his presence in favor of her shadow who knew the right parts, the right touches, the right positions to gratify the female body.

Once their mouths wetly parted for the umpteenth time, Mew noticed her vision hazing over and her hips pounding wilder as her groin went numb against her partner's thigh. Her arms strained to hold herself up, pulling harshly at the sheets as her head tossed back with every cry. Shifting beneath her with a naughty smirk, her reflection raised a leg to rest on her shoulder, slipping their mounds together with a squelch without slowing. Panting heavily, the rosy feline whimpered and buried her face into her hot collar, feeling her heart was about to pop.

Right at the very cusp of her orgasmic throes, she was flipped over and pinned onto her back, clefts smashing at an angle. Her voice tightened from a high-pitched scream, keeping her pelvis lingering in reach of skin contact as her thighs squeezed and figure quaked. She closed her eyes when they rolled too far into her skull, her hands reaching for something but only grasped space.

"Ooh, she came her brains out!" was scarcely caught in the void, a weight lifting from her. "Looks like Mewtwo never got that far. Well, as they say, 'No one knows you better than you'."

Air burned her throat as she struggled to remain conscious and steady herself. Sinking into the mattress, her fingers snagged the sheets above her head only to wince from the aches in her muscles. She was briefly aware of her double looking down at her, the thinnest of smiles on her face.

"That's a good girl," she murmured, leaving behind an electrical current each time she stroked her face. "Rest up, now. I'll take over from here."

Mew clenched her fists as she braced herself, but nothing came of it. She looked over in slight confusion at Mewtwo the moment he went up to the shadow from behind, wrapping his arms around her torso. Her eyelids fluttered closed as she moaned in encouragement, reaching back to pet his cheekbone right as his mouth pecked her neck.

The feline's heart dropped into the pit of her stomach as she helplessly watched her mate ravish her other self. The passion increased when he ran his hands over her tiny body and nipped her skin with a growl. "H-Hey," she weakly rasped out, trying to lift her head. "What're you... he's..."

The icy stare silenced her as their tails entwined, a devilish smirk on her lips. "Just relax, Mew," she cooed, "I'm only fulfilling my duty as a mate. Just sit back and enjoy the show for once, maybe take some pointers." And she turned her head without breaking eye-contact to kiss him, moaning deeply as his tongue plunged into her mouth. The wet sucks between their lips seemed to increase in volume, laughs rumbling in their chests.

Mew's thighs involuntarily squeezed at the sight of Mewtwo cupping her crotch, taking in how his knuckles flexed as he pumped his fingers in-and-out of her. Her mate never touched anyone else but her and her alone, and his movements affirmed his loyalty. He knew the workings of her body, how to thrill her and get her to think of nothing else but of how his body felt draped over her. He valued their intimacy, building it up to levels she could've never dreamed of to the point she'd beg for him to please don't stop.

Even if the female he was fondling looked like her, it was obvious she wasn't her. Her touches were too possessive, her figure too curvy, her voice too husky. She looked at him with lustful eyes, not adoration. She kissed him too sloppily with such a dirty mouth, not bothering to try matching up. She was too loose, too loud, too wild to be her.

How could Mewtwo not see that? Was he too blinded with hormones to notice he was with the wrong one? Did she hypnotize him into thinking she was her?

Mew fought back a sudden wave of nausea upon remembering that night. Some of it was a blur, but only because it felt like she was more of an observer than a participant. Her body had moved and writhed to his touches like clockwork, yet her mind was left behind to pick up the pieces. She had the desire to love him back and strengthen their bond, but she was stopped by a thin barrier that she couldn't break, no matter how weakened it became when he had dived into her heart for a look. Even then, the knowledge of the egg's fate had been looming over her head like a guillotine, and with it the reason why she couldn't be in full control.

Mewtwo knew that and had tried to dance around the subject, to keep her in blissful ignorance so she wouldn't feel it when it eventually sliced through her. As a result, however, his heart wasn't in it. It hurt him just as much as it hurt her that they couldn't fully love each other.

She just couldn't recognize in time that he shared her pain with her.

"Oo-OOOOH!"

Mew covered her mouth at the sight of him burying his face directly into her double's vulva, tongue drawing crazy circles over her folds and lapping up her fluids. Tiny paws gripping his head, she humped in tune to his movements, nibbling her lip. She dreamily glanced over at their little voyeur and let out a pleased laugh, loosening her tail to drop between his legs. He jerked under her touch, aiding her to stroke in the right spots.

Tears trickled down her cheeks. She didn't want to watch anymore, didn't want to know of the fire in his irises burning the brightest she had ever seen. If she had the strength, she could get up to pull them apart, snap him out of it, and remind him of why he chose her as his mate.

"Ah!"

Her other hand had slipped its way down her body without her knowing, sinking into her puffy core to plug herself up. Her fingers weren't of his girth, the size she was most attuned to, but she just needed something to impede the throbbing. Biting down on her knuckles to stifle her sobs, she squirmed to get into a more comfortable position without drawing too much attention to herself.

Harmonious yowls broke her concentration, and her eyes refocused on the copulating pair, Mewtwo hunched on his knees and her other self on her face, pelvis in the air. Though her expression was unpleasantly distorted, there was a smirk quirked on her lips. "Ahhh, fuck, that's the spot!" she crooned, quickening her pace. "Plow my pussy deep, Mewtwo! I want to feel it all!"

Even though she couldn't find her voice, Mew felt her lips mouth the words and leave herself in a buzz. She wouldn't have dared say them, she felt her actions were more important, yet Mewtwo responded rather positively to such vulgarity. The act was too crude, too feral to even be enjoyable—but there they were, lost to euphoria and to themselves, not caring about who could come across them.

The Mewtwo before her was a different creature at this point, but she couldn't help feeling envious of the Mew he risked crushing beneath him. It was a side of him that may not even exist, yet he was confident enough in his little mate to show it to her. For all the times he believed himself unnatural as a product of science, the insatiable driving force of nature came instinctively to him as it did her.

She missed him... she missed him so much...

With a heavy sigh, Mew tipped back her head as her tail reached an opening, envisioning herself switching places. "More... more, Mewtwo..."

*~*~*

As he stepped onto the path for his house, Mewtwo's stream of positive thoughts kept flowing towards Lil, feeling he couldn't thank her enough for her help even with the impromptu visit (though it was no real surprise she was a morning person). He thought it a little embarrassing he was starting up a garden in the winter season, yet her gentle smile convinced him otherwise. She happily gave tips for the herbs and lent him the containers so he could start it indoors, although from the way she had danced about gathering them up, she was more excited that he was even taking up gardening. Far as he knew, being more adept in tinkering with scrap metal meant he couldn't possibly have a green thumb, but he didn't want the herbs to go to waste.

"Although what would Vic say?" he smirked to himself, amusing himself with the most viable responses of the pitcher plant should he ever learn of his new hobby.

He almost came to a stop by the fence, briefly sensing a disturbance in the air. Unsure of its origins, he inhaled deeply and hoisted the items in his arms to psychically sort them out. He had a good picture of how he could reorganize his study to be better suited for the plants, which he would get started on right after their late breakfast—

"...Mewtwo!"

Blood ran cold so fast that he trembled and collapsed on a knee. It was muffled, yet the urgency in the tone sharply rippled through his body. Without a second thought, he dropped everything at the gate to hurry inside, nearly stumbling over the threshold. "Mew, what happened?!" he gasped, poking his head into the empty kitchen.

There came a sneer from the back of his mind, telling him he was crazy for being frantic until her cries interrupted it. Shooting his gaze down the hall, Mewtwo ran to grab the doorknob to find it locked.

...locked? Why would it be locked?

"...more, Mewtwo... your cock feels so fucking good!"

He stood frozen as he listened to Mew shout his name again beyond the wood. On top of her no longer sounding as urgent as he thought, she was audibly out of breath, but that didn't bother him as much as how brazen she became. It was rare for her to use harsh language even in anger, and the concept of "dirty talk" wasn't something they considered. He shook in place, heart pounding in his ears as he cursed under his breath.

Something was wrong.

Telekinetically, he turned the lock just as he heard the creak of the bed followed by another string of moans. "Mew, are you all ri—?" It was when he shoved the door open that he trailed off, unable to finish his sentence.

Mew, draped upside-down over the edge of the disheveled bed, had an unfocused stare as her gasps became irregular, drool slipping down her cheek. Her raised hips gyrated to the rhythm of her paw and tail, which was plunging deep into herself at an angle. The other hand, palm slick with sweat, was tightly gripping the sheets hanging around her head and yanking it with every thrust out of passion.

"O-O-O—OHH! Oh, harder, Mewtwo! Fuck my brains out!"

The clone was sure his mouth was agape from the shock of what was displayed before him, but he couldn't feel his numb body apart from the icy chill that continued to run up his spine. He could scarcely stand to look at her as she deliriously writhed on the bed, and yet he couldn't turn away as if mesmerized. The taunting nag hovered in the back of his mind as if to further rub it in his face:

She sometimes screamed your name during sex, remember?

"Mewt... Mewtwoooo... God, yesss..."

Mewtwo involuntarily gulped as her moans echoed in his ears. The way she mewled his name triggered the bitter loneliness that made his core throb with every hollow heartbeat. His vision struggled between her puckering lips and puffy groin, suddenly unsure which to focus on. His curiosity went to a dark, sick place in wondering just what it was she was thinking of, in how it was she could pretend to enjoy herself without shame. And rising up from the depths was frustration he had been hoarding for a long time. He loathed that he was still around and still willing to make it up with her, and yet she refused him to instead replace him with some false image he couldn't see nor hear.

And he wondered if that Mewtwo could pleasure her tenfold than he ever could.

As her panting grew heated, Mew's tongue weakly ran across her bottom lip, her back arching and tightening in preparation. Her voice started to peter out, the sheets further rumpled in her fist, her midriff quivered when she ran her paw over her exposed teats, and tail blurred as her parted legs quaked from holding herself up. Feet firmly planted on the mattress, her body thrusted long and hard as her head tilted further back and her mouth widened with an inhale.

That all came to an abrupt halt once they made eye-contact.

Mewtwo shivered at the recognition that sparked to life in her wide, teary eyes, and noticed he hadn't been gripping the doorknob. Swiftly removing her paw and tail from between her legs, Mew rolled to sit on her knees and hide herself, her lower half visibly shaken up. The flush on her face darkened, drops of sweat clinging to her.

"M-Mewtwo..." she croaked out.

His heart painfully squeezed from the whiplash of her tone going from heated to timid. Trying to regain his composure, he just shook his head and waved his hand around. "No, no... d-do not mind me, Mew..."

"Mewtwo, I-I'm sorry!"

"Do not get up, Mew... That was rude of me to barge into our bedroom." He swallowed to find his mouth had gone dry from the strong scent that permeated the room. "If I had known you were going to be... busy..."

"Mewtwo, please! Don't be like that!" Tears cascaded down her cheeks, her sobs bursting from her chest.

He turned his head to finally avoid her gaze when his throat tightened. "I just remembered I need to be somewhere. I would like to return in an hour for breakfast, but I could always stay out longer."

"STOP IT, I'M SORRY!" she screamed over him.

"Actually now that I think about it, I may be home tonight at the latest. Do not wait for me." He then quickly pulled the door shut and rushed back to the front room, narrowly keeping his balance. His hand just touched the doorknob when Mew ran into his back, taking hold of his sides.

"NO! DON'T GO, MEWTWO! I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY!"

"I-I am late enough as it is..."

"JUST SAY IT, MEWTWO!"

"No... no, I will not..." Mewtwo pried her off, pushing her back far enough to momentarily exit the house and close the door shut, psychically jamming it.

From behind the wood, he heard her wail and claw anywhere between the knob and the boards themselves, continuing to scream for him to not leave and chanting her apology on repeat. Too caught up in her own grief, she never once teleported outside, to which the clone was glad she didn't. Gagging back his sobs as the taunting image of her orgasming rapidly flashed in his mind, he collapsed against the door when his legs gave out, twisting his body to shield his now-flaccid genitals.

*~*~*

It was one of the longest days of his life. Unable to face anyone in the community, he had left to take a breather on the farthest side of the mountain range where he'd be left alone, but his attempts to meditate were futile with the intrusive damning thoughts. What once was his safe haven for self-reflection, solitude became his self-torture and a battle of wills he had no probable chance of winning. And he didn't.

He had tried to convince himself it was normal, that in their current situation it was the only way to find temporary relief, but he knew in his heart it wasn't. Mew had never once touched herself—as far as he was aware of. He wasn't always around her, there were days he was gone for long hours, and it was rare of him to be away overnight. If she had ever gotten urges at any of those times, it was possible she may have had a way to release it.

No, he knew her long enough to know she was too reserved for such a thing, even around him. So why did she do it? When did she start doing it, and how did he not know of it? There was no way it was her first time judging from her cries and position.

Exhausted in heart, mind and body, Mewtwo carefully timed out when she would start on dinner before he would step back through the door. He kept his entrance quiet, hovering in the living room to avoid seeing her in his line of sight, not ready to confront her. What prevented him from doing so was the heavy atmosphere that still pressed on his shoulders, a sensation he couldn't shake off. As much as he wanted to forget what he had seen and done (and he was positive he could wipe out his own memory on a whim), something nagged at him that it wouldn't make a difference.

He grunted under his breath as his loins started to burn again in need, looking for a distraction from the mental images. His eyes fell upon the table by the couch, and stared at the white envelope laying there. Within moments, he felt his insides drop as a memory flashed by, remembering he had not been happy about the delivery. He shakily picked it up and held it to the dying light as the sigma glinted at him. It hadn't been opened; that tidbit left an odd taste in his mouth.

Carefully, he peeled the sticker off and pried it open. A single, laminated card was tucked inside, front facing him. Taking it out, he gaped down at it, looked it over, and reread it. Then he barked out a small laugh, shaking his head in disbelief.

He received it months ago, and yet the printed date was only a few days away.

"You have got to be kidding me," he scoffed, yet couldn't stop smirking. He readied himself to rip the invitation in two—but stayed frozen when he noticed his hands were trembling.

"No, don't!"

Mewtwo snapped his head up to find Mew in the kitchen entranceway. Her face was still dark, but her eyes shone of anxiety. His brows furrowed a little that this was what she greeted him with after the events of that morning. "Why are you so concerned?"

"He thought of you, Mewtwo! Don't just throw it away like that!"

For a brief moment, he questioned how it was she knew what it was since it was left gathering dust; then it occurred to him the envelope had nary a speck on it. His heart ached at the thought Mew kept it unopened since it was he who was invited, even though she was the one who convinced him. Glancing down at the invitation, he let out a sigh through his nose.

"He will not get offended." Mewtwo tightened his grip on the card, and managed to tear halfway before Mew snatched his wrist to stop him.

"But you should respect his thoughts! You should go to the ceremony!"

Forgoing another question of how she knew it hadn't yet happened, he pulled himself away. "I cannot trust you can take care of yourself."

Her shaky hands continued to hover. "I will, I promise! If I have to, I'll stay with one of the girls while you're gone! But...," and she clenched them as her voice grew thick with melancholy, "...the nights will be lonely."

Mewtwo's core quivered from a sudden image of her curled in bed with both paws between her thighs. She ducked her head to avoid his gaze, quickly returning to the kitchen. Dropping the invitation on the couch, he followed after her, pausing by the table. She shot him a brief glance before turning her back to him and picking up a knife to chop a small bundle of celery.

"It's nothing, Mewtwo..."

As static as he was, he couldn't help shivering, sensing the uneasiness emitting from her. She had to be berating herself for stepping out of line after what happened. Staring over at the window as the last of the sun's rays dimmed, he slowly exhaled.

"Mew... please be honest with me," he muttered, noticing he sounded sober.

"I'm busy right now," was her quick response, her posture not once moving from her place by the stove. She started to chop louder, vainly making the attempt to end the conversation.

"I just want a simple response from you is all."

"Can you do it later?" Her voice was more strained and the slices even louder and rougher, as evident from the small pieces flying off the countertop.

"I have held off on this for far too long. Procrastinating will only make this more difficult."

The shunck! of the knife cutting the board pierced the air, Mew's ears flattening and shoulders rolling back. She remained in place, not moving to even crane her head for a glance. The only visible sign was the tip of her tail flicking in an irritable manner, and right arm trembling.

Silently and warily, Mewtwo strode into the kitchen to turn on the light above the stove, standing where his shadow wouldn't overlap with any part of her. He cautiously eyed the knife still in her hand, finding no reflection on its blade from the angle it had sunk into the cutting board. Then glancing at the boiling soup, he reached over to turn down the gas, keeping her and the knife in his line of sight. Though he knew she could see the movement at the corner of her eye, she remained still.

Straightening back up, he inhaled long and deep. "Do you want to stop being my mate?"

He heard a strangled gasp interrupt her breathing until she slowed it down. Her body twitching and squirming in discomfort, she continued to refuse looking at him as she quickly scooped up the celery to throw into the pot. It was a reaction he expected, but he did not want to play the quiet game.

"Answer the question, Mew."

"It's a silly question," she mumbled out, reaching for another bundle to chop.

He telekinetically slid it further down the countertop. She tensed and flattened her ears, her jaw locking up. "Fine, let me reword it. Do you want to end our relationship?"

Given where they stood, normally, Mewtwo would have disregarded the knife to drape his arms over her as he watched her make dinner. If not pouting about the teasing "keep away" game, she would be chatting about her day or anything on her mind, rolling her eyes or smirking at any joking remarks he would say. The kitchen would be livelier, more welcoming, their countenances brightening the atmosphere.

That moment had slipped past his fingertips a long time ago.

Despite the stinging silence, it was like he was the only one talking, his voice on an endless loop by reverberating off the gray walls. He remained still, numb to the growing emptiness inside as he waited for her to react, keeping an eye on the knife. Judging from how much she struggled to steady herself and breathe, she never thought he would ask such a biting question—or she was having second thoughts.

"I..." She paused to take a few more breaths. "I need time to think on it."

Mewtwo welcomed her response, knowing she was going to need it. "I will give you until after dinner," he stated, and then left for the study.

Just as he reached the door, he heard the knife sink once more into the cutting board as she sobbed. He stood in place, hand trembling on the knob, fighting back any conflicting emotions that were bubbling up. And he was losing.

*~*~*

Try as he might, as much as he wanted to, he could not convince himself that it was the right thing to do. They could talk about it all they want, even as civilly as possible, but whatever the decision was, nothing good was going to come from it. It was as if they were in a stalemate, yet were unable to, or refused to reconcile.

Such thoughts made it hard for Mewtwo to eat as he sat in the living room, waiting for Mew to finish. Where he sat, he could peek over at the kitchen to see her engrossed in her dinner, positioned so she wouldn't have to see him. The discarded invitation was still within reach, though he tried to keep it out of his peripheral each time he cast his eyes about. He didn't need anything else to add to the problem, and he hoped it would stay out of the conversation.

Mew got up to wash her bowl by the time he found the motivation to gulp the soup down. It was stone cold, but such a trivial detail didn't bother him. Whatever gave her a few extra minutes to collect her thoughts, even if it left a knot in his stomach. Just when she came into the living room, he exited to wash the rest of the dishes, avoiding looking over at her. He glanced over at her bowl on the rack, frowned at how poorly-cleaned it was, and rewashed it without a word. He tried to ignore how his hands shook, and to look past the size differences between the dishware, and not to think about how they were able to calculate the amount of food to prepare for the two of them with such normal-sized pots. It was almost pathetic how much he was stalling to reminisce about just the kitchenware. They weren't even made by his own hand like the house, yet Mew never minded.

Mewtwo forced himself to return to the living room, and briefly hesitated sitting down next to her. She made no attempt to move from her side nor stop him, which he took as a silver lining. The heavy atmosphere had lightened up some, but it still made him shift as he thought on the question once more.

There was no turning back now.

"I will ask again, Mew," he started off somberly, glancing over at her. His mate looked frail and limp, her pale skin more visible through her thinning fur. She only breathed, not a twitch to be seen on her. "Do you want to end our relationship?"

Her eyes remained distant, but she had heard him. "...I don't know..."

"Why do you not know?"

She covered the right side of her face. "I feel I should know..."

With a quiet grunt, Mewtwo turned away to pinch his brows. As much as he despised hearing the "I don't know" answer, it was her default response. It was already taking all of his willpower to remain calm and keep his thoughts on the matter at hand. If he wanted their talk to go well regardless of direction, getting into a shouting match was going to do much more harm. Though secretly, he was a bit relieved her saying "I don't know" guaranteed them an excuse to talk it over.

"...you're asking because you're not happy... isn't it." From what he gathered in her soft tone, it was more of a statement than a question. It pained his heart for her to point it out, but it was an excuse to spill his thoughts.

"Neither of us are happy. I cannot remember the last time either of us smiled, or were able to be confident that we were happy together." When he glanced over, her expression was still unchanged, though an ear flicked. "We no longer talk to each other like we used to, neither do we have nice things to say about one another. We no longer do anything together such as eating at the same table and sleeping in the same bed and... dating... Hell, we do not look at each other anymore. There is no life in this house, no interaction. We are always exhausted, we reject any support our... friends have tried to give us..."

Mewtwo had to pause to breathe. "There is literally no 'we' anymore... if it was ever 'we' and 'us'. It is just two strangers who happen to live under one roof. It is possible that if this relationship was never a 'we' relationship, then everything we did was more of a 'friends with benefits', so it goes in human terms. That was not what I wanted from the start, and I hope—I plead that is not the case."

Mew had dropped her arm and hung her head, but she remained unresponsive. It was almost insulting that she was coming off as emotionless while he spilled out his heart for her to see.

"So I will ask one more time. Mew... do you want to stop being my mate? It is just a simple 'yes' or 'no' response."

Her fingers twitched in her lap. "You're going to get mad," she murmured.

"I am not going to get mad," he whispered back, fighting back a shiver.

Mew opened her mouth in attempt to speak, but her voice kept cracking. There was a hint of a tear in her eye, though he wrote it off as either tiredness or her getting frustrated at herself for choking up. He slightly turned his head away, wondering if she wasn't comfortable being looked at to answer.

"...N-No..."

Mewtwo closed his eyes and covered his face, trying to muffle his sharp inhaling. He knew she was going to say that, and it pissed him off. But as much as he couldn't trust himself to keep calm, he held it in for her sake, waiting for more of her response.

She breathed enough to raise her voice. "No, I don't want to end this relationship. But because we're not happy, it should be the right thing to end it, right? It's just that... it's going to be so awkward. I don't want to not be with you anymore, but if we end this relationship, would that mean ending our friendship?"

Once he cleared his mind, Mewtwo straightened up. "If you feel it is the right thing to do, we will go our separate ways," he muttered.

She shook her head. "I don't want to... b-because we... we did so many things together... so many happy things. And..." He caught her shyly glancing up at him, her face flushing. "...And we had sex... Many times."

Her feeble voice pricked a hole in his heart. "What are you getting at?"

Her gaze faltered as she hugged her arms close. "You can wipe memories... right? If we separate, you will have to wipe my memory of this, or I'm never going to move on."

"I refuse," he interjected, brows furrowed. "I only resort to that technique when necessary. Erasing all memory of our relationship is going to do more harm than good. That is at least five years' worth of memories, Mew."

Her grip tightened. "I don't want to be sad anymore, Mewtwo... it's just that..." Struggling to keep her voice steady, she got up. Her tail dragged on the floor when she moved for the entranceway, quivering in place. "Even if we're not in love anymore, even though we don't talk like we used to... for some reason, I don't want to leave. We were happy. I know it because you were able to smile. I... we made this place our home, put our hearts and love into it. I love being home with you, Mewtwo. E-Even if we don't ever have children, we still have each other, and that is why we were happy."

She hiccuped from her sobs and braced against the wall. "I did this... everything that went wrong here... It was a mistake to care for that... that egg. It... she ruined—no... I ruined everything. I ruined our lives."

Mewtwo got up and startled her when he grasped her head to look her firmly in the eye. "Mew, no one is at fault, not you, nor Marjorie. She made a mistake, and she wanted a solution. She thought of you and how much you wanted a child." His hands began to tremble, and he quickly swallowed down the tears when her eyes lightened up. "You happily agreed to adopt the child—we both did. It just somehow was not meant to be. No one knew it was defective, we discovered it too late."

"I discovered too late, Mewtwo!" she exclaimed, jabbing herself in the chest when she pulled away. "It was you who knew something was wrong, but I refused to listen! Everything that happened is all my damn fault! Don't pretend it isn't, Mewtwo!"

He shook his head. "No, not everything is your fault. I turned a blind eye myself, believing you were happy... but you really were not. And as your mate, I should have caught that. Everything that got worse happened because I let it happen."

"Mewtwo, no—"

"Stop pretending it was all on you, Mew!"

"No, it wasn't just the egg! I-It wasn't just that... it was before then..."

"I know, Mew."

"Then why didn't you say anything?!" she wailed. "Why did you pretend everything was okay for five years?! God, Mewtwo, I trusted you! I loved you!" She hiccuped and rapidly shook her head. "And all while I couldn't even trust myself!"

She dropped her face into her hands in a vain effort to hold back her bawls. At the risk of setting her off, Mewtwo carefully reached out for her, cradling her close when she sank into his chest without hesitation. Although concerned she was sending mixed signals, he pressed his cheek between her ears as he rocked her, finding himself glaring at the thin moonlight streaming in from the kitchen and wishing a cloud would roll over. He didn't need to be reminded of their happier moments underneath the silver rays, neither he nor Mew were worthy of it. For it to shine on a stressful moment was like the moon mockingly spit on their faces.

He tilted his head to look behind him, laying his eyes on the invitation. Then burying his face into her temple, the clone gingerly murmured, "Let us leave tomorrow."

It took a bit more of silence before Mew's reply could be audible. "You sure?"

He briefly rubbed her shoulder. "Think of it as a vacation. It will give us a few extra days to breathe."

She sniffled and squirmed in his hold. "...thank you..." She lifted her head with a hand at her nose and mouth, tears slowly slipping down her red face. "Um... can you stay with me tonight?"

Mewtwo gritted his teeth to block the sobs bursting from his throat, but managed a small nod of assurance. "Of course... dear."

A tiny beam of gratitude graced her face, and she wiped her eyes before ducking her face into the crook of his neck. He held her close for her to weep it out as he made the rounds of securing the house for the night, purposefully taking his time. As he entered the hallway, she squeezed tighter.

"Mewtwo... how big is the other bed?" she murmured, still keeping her head down.

He paused in front of their bedroom door, mulling on her question. "It is fit for one person," he answered after a few moments of silence. "Why do you ask?"

She shifted as her head turned, but didn't pull away. "I defiled our bed..."

Mewtwo shivered, staring at the door. "It is all right... it was about time to make a new one anyway."

Upon pushing the door open, she let out a shuddering breath, curling more into his arms. "Don't! Please..."

Pausing to stare at the lunar rays as she sobbed into his chest, try as he could to push the unsettling memory from mind, he could still feel the heavy weight in his stomach rooting him in place. The atmosphere was unusually stifling, and not because he hadn't stepped foot inside for months. Mew was deeply troubled by whatever she did inside, a dark curiosity he knew better than to further probe.

She relaxed a little when he pulled it closed and he changed course for the study. It was still cramped, but not as suffocating, and the bed looked more welcoming. Like custom, he gently tucked her in on her side of the bed, allowing her to use the fuller pillow, then quickly tidied up the room to open it up more. Once the curtains were drawn to shut out the night sky, he hesitated to climb in himself, gauging the width and how scrunched up she'd be against the wall if he took up residence. Her eyes gleamed from tears when she glanced up at him, a look of concern in the blue depths.

"Is something wrong?" she whispered, hugging the pillow closer.

He didn't sugarcoat his answer. "There is not going to be enough room for you if I join you. Besides, I need to do some nightly reading before I retire to bed."

She sat up and scooted closer to reach out to him, but didn't even graze an arm. "No, it's... it's okay, Mewtwo."

"Are you sure?"

Slowly, she nodded, dropping her hand and stare to the blankets. "Y... You don't have to fall asleep, but... I want you to stay."

"I am not going to leave the room."

"No..." She then smoothed out the flat pillow, shyly meeting his gaze. "Here... with me..."

He silently chewed it over, fighting off a chill creeping up his back. He watched her eyes glaze over, looking almost as though she fell into a trance while taking him in. The clone saw a glint of what he interpreted as desire, perhaps longing. She didn't appear to be aware of her change in expression, even when he heard her breath start to hitch in her chest.

On any normal night, he would have fallen upon her without hesitation and made love with her well into the twilight. However, the differences between then and now were visible in the gap that separated them. He could lay a hand on her as he did earlier gathering her in his arms, yet he would receive no reciprocating stir in return. She could plead with her eyes, perhaps even envision the same scene as he, but she wouldn't handle any physical touch without breaking.

Mewtwo didn't deserve to be in the same bed, let alone the same room as Mew. He felt unworthy to even look at her, a broken soul he had unknowingly assisted in wrecking further when he wanted to help her. He had failed her and himself time and time again, and there was no rewarding failure.

And yet, his body disobeyed and slipped into the covers, facing her as they lay down on opposite ends of the mattress. As he thought, even when he chose to lay as close to the edge as possible, there was little wriggle room for the two of them, and they couldn't look away from each other. She didn't look uncomfortable being in close proximity to him, however, in which a cruel tease at the back of his mind reminded him that all she had to do was stretch out a paw and stroke his chin, and he'd be putty in her hands.

He blinked down at the open left hand, her delicate fingers nervously curling as if hiding themselves from his gaze. Her timid voice broke the silence, "Can... can we hold hands?"

He was going to ask, but chose to hold his tongue as he gently took her paw to lay in his palm. She grasped his thumb, shivering as his fingers brushed along the outside of her wrist. Her eyes drifted not in coyness, he realized, but in shame.

"Are you still going to be here in the morning?" she anxiously asked, pulling her tail close to her chest.

Though he had no intent to leave in the middle of the night, Mewtwo couldn't blame her for asking it. So he answered her with a nod, "I plan to."

Mew briefly crossed visions again and slightly hiccuped on a couple of breaths, tightening her hold.

#pokemon #mewtwo #mew #mewshipping #handle with care #chapter twelve #fan fiction #mature

[that1normalkidd]

Monsters Don’t Need Hearts Chapter 6

Hi guys! It’s me again. .3. Here’s Chapter 6 of my little story. I won’t be able to upload for the next couple of days since I have work but I will upload chapter 7 as soon as I can! <3

----

I couldn't bring myself to look at him the same way I did a year ago.

Everything about him seemed to excite me, despite our less than friendly conversation which had taken place a week ago exactly.

His ever so sultry voice which had just the right hint of huskiness to its deep tone. 

The image of seeing his shirtless frame never ceased to give my mind any sort of momentary peace. He wasn't buff to the extent of his brother but it still excited me at the very thought. Those toned forearms paired with a slender torso engraved with faint abs. Thinking of it made an unsettling heat rush to my face, flushing my cheeks to a harsh pink.

The sound of construction quickly broke me free of my seemingly dazed state.

I let out a tired sigh as I looked for the sense of the racket which was most likely coming from outside.

It was strange how Earth was looking more and more like Asgard with every day that passed. With Loki successfully having settled on agreements with the 8 realms the rebuilding of New York along with the rest of the world had began. To keep the construction going steady he had installed worker groups all along the world, each worker being paid a sum which equaled the amount of work put forth. The money itself came from the 8 realms which in return were given imports which they were in short supply of.

In other words everything in the world was going as Loki had planned, with scouts on every corner of the globe they reported their findings using magic. This system kept him informed constantly of any sort of rebellion and which areas needed more funds being funneled to them.

People had seemed to become to fond of the mischief god, no longer harboring the fierce hate which they did when we were first 'enslaved'.  In actuality we were all more free than we ever were. When the laws Loki had installed were broken of course there were repercussions but most never felt obliged to do anything to violate them.

"Everyone looks so happy..." I whispered to myself, tracing the golden accents embroidered into the sleeves of an elegant emerald green dress Loki demanded I wear every day. The top with a plunging neckline which teased the looker with a infinitesimal taste of cleavage, leaving the rest of the mind to wonder what else was underneath. It could easily spark ones curiosity and imagination.

Though the only eyes I ever wanted give me a glance hadn't looked my way for the past week, leaving me to wonder what to do.

My chambers were one of the more spacious ones, the decorations and colors picked out by Loki himself. The walls were covered with a navy blue with a thick white line providing a border along the ceiling. A soft luscious carpet colored the white of a sheep's wool blanketed my feet with every step I took.

Exhausted from my daily duties of scrubbing the throne room and organizing the castle library I threw myself onto my bed, nearly succumbing to sleep.

He was still all I could think of. 

The possibility of feeling the tender touch of those slender fingers, gentle kisses grazing along my (S/C) skin.

"I would never have any sort of affection for... a weak human"

I wanted to believe I that I was anything but weak but compared to his kind and every other race which existed within the universe we were rather low on the spectrum. Even within our own I had no fighting skills nor did I have any other sort of 'special skill'. What beauty did I possess that the other young servants didn't?

"Ugh..I don't ever want to feel like this again." I muttered, forcing myself to sit up and glance around the various paintings which hung on the wall.

"My kitten."

This has to be some sort of spell...it has to be.

"I have to do something, maybe that'll get my mind off of him. Alex is asleep so hanging out with her is out of the picture."

I forced myself out of bed and headed towards the lavish door which sealed me away from the commotion taking place in the castle corridors. My eyes met with a woman who looked to be about a year or two younger than me.

She quickly withdrew her hand from the door and averted her gaze from my own. causing me to smile.

"K-King Loki wishes to speak with you in the throne room."

The softness of her voice was comforting though I could tell she wasn't used to talking to people.

I gave her a nod in response and rested my hand on her shoulder, assuring her that i meant no harm.

"Alright. No need to be nervous. Trust me, I'm one of the nicer ones."

The young girl smiled at me and nodded, taking her leave.

Once I found myself alone anxiety quickly took hold of me, making my walk to the throne room that much more difficult.

What was it that he wanted now?

He hadn't spoken to me since the banquet and even then it didn't end on the best terms.

The throne room was blocked off by 2 massive golden doors engraved with ancient Asgardian lore and stories, behind it was a spacious room which was accented by a grand throne adorned with curled horns. In it sat the god whom I had come to realize that I had feelings for.

He sat with his body resting on the right side of the arm rest, his right hand finding rest beneath his chin.

"Hello kitten."

That voice...

My knees threatened to buckle at the  sound of it but I held fast.

The doors shut themselves behind me as I took a few steps towards him, fiddling with my fingers to keep me calm.

"Yes? Why is it that you suddenly want to talk to me? You seemed pretty annoyed the last time we chatted."

I spat, trying to keep venom in each word I spoke.

But of course Loki saw right threw it.

Setting his scepter down against the throne's right side the raven haired beauty stood to his feet and walked towards me.

I tensed up in fear of being harmed but quickly relaxed as I watched him instead hold out his hand.

What?

"Dance with me kitten."

A double take was in order as my mind refused to actually believe he was saying any of this.

"Loki are you feeling ill?" Worried I strode up to him, placing the back of my right hand against his forehead. His skin was just as cold as I presumed it would be but, it wasn't unbearable. Rather with the usually warm atmosphere it felt wonderful.

He let out an amused chuckle and took my hand in his own, resting his ever thin lips upon it before meeting my gaze.

"I can assure you that I am well. I simply wish for you to dance with me."

A shimmer of green engulfed the room, transforming it into a grand ball room. An orchestra played on our left while elegant chandeliers swayed gently above, lightning up the room in it's entirety.

The beauty of it all took my breathe away though I knew it was all a simple illusion. Either way it gave my troubled mind a chance to rest, taking in the vivid colors and beautiful symphony which surrounded he and I.

"Well," I started, setting my fingers against the palm of his hand. " I suppose a dance wouldn't hurt."

His skin was cold to the touch, fitting his ever changing personality but it didn't turn me away it instead lured me in. I wished to feel more of him against me, to feel the beating of his cold heart provided the frost giant even had one.

Loki seemed more then pleased at my answer and so snaked one of his arms around my waist, the other taking hold of my only free hand. The coldness the metal embedded into his signature robe causing my nipples to harden ever so slightly beneath the thin fabric which covered me. 

Our fingers intertwined as we began to waltz to the music, everything else no longer seeming to matter. Not the diplomatic plans, not even saving my friends.

I'm such a terrible person.

This moment was beyond perfect, the only noise being the music and our feet tapping against the golden floor beneath us.

Looking into his eyes I saw a vulnerability that I had never seen before. Dozens of emotions dancing throughout those cold blue orbs. Pain, loss, even a sliver of happiness.

"Where did you learn to dance?" I asked, curiosity poking at me.

Loki gave me a spin before pulling me to his chest once more.

I could hear it, the faintness of his beating heart.

So he did have one. 

"I may not seem like it kitten but I know many things that would surprise you."

"Is that so?"

"It is."

Was I wrong for wanting this moment to never end? Was it selfish of me to pray for such a thing? Possibly.

It was his presence that brought me a sense of comfort and warmth. The feeling of us being so close and his breathe tickling the tip of my nose. I had dreamt of a moment such as this, knowing well that it would never happen again seeing as the trickster god rarely seemed to be so happy.

Loki was never one for apologizing, I had learned that from our last encounter. But maybe this was him saying sorry. His silence and embrace being the only way he ever knew how to do so.

We danced for what seemed like hours when I knew it was only a few minutes. Soon it came to an end leaving me staring into those eyes which I had come to be so drawn to. Our lips only inches from one another.

Kiss him.

I quickly shook the thought from my mind though it was more than tempting. 

A smirk formed on his lips, the grand scene fading away back into the throne room which Loki had called his own. I immediately missed the music and extravagant lights which were present only a few moments ago.

"Tonight before I sleep a servant will be sent to your chambers to request that you come read to me."

This again.

I couldn't bring myself to complain though. I longed to see him shirtless again. Was that wrong?

I smiled at his demand, slipping myself out of his embrace and making my escape for the door.

"Of course, my king."

----

That’s the end of Chapter 6! Once again there won’t be an upload for the next couple of days but I will upload the next chapter when I get the chance!

Bye lovelies! <3

#loki laufeyson #loki #loki x reader #loki imagine #loki (marvel) #loki fanfic #thor ragnarok #thor #loki odinson #tom hiddleston

[linguisticswithlester]

Let Me Memorize Your Eyes - Chapter 5: Empty Name Tag

Rating: Not Rated

Word Count: 2734

Warnings:  VERBAL/MENTAL ABUSE MENTIONED AND A BREIF MENTION OF HOMOPHOBIA

Note: So sorry for no upload on Thursday. I have so much stuff going on with school and work that uploading twice a week is not a good idea. So instead, ill be uploading every Monday (or I'll try too). I hope you all enjoy this chapter, its a little longer and I actually enjoy this one. Im going to try and speed things up from now on in the story so prepare for that because im ready for the dnp angst.

Summary: Phil is a struggling artist with bruised trust and Dan is a talented baker working in a coffee shop trying to forget his smoldering past. When their paths cross will Dan end up being Phil’s new muse? Or will he be the one thing keeping Phil from putting brush to canvas ever again?

[Read on AO3]

[Read from the beginning] 

    Phil was laying on top of his unmade bed trying to fall asleep in the heat of summer but, sleep wasn’t going to make its appearance tonight. Rolling over, Phil let out a sigh; today was rough. It started out with an email that may change his life, he actually drew something so that was a start; he saw a cute boy and didn’t completely make a fool of himself. So that was an upside. That café has been in his life for a while so it’s just about time something embarrassing happen. Phil’s just waiting for it to hit.

   Phil has been going to that café for just around two months. His coffee maker broke around that time and going to the shop to replace it wasn’t on Phil’s list of most important to-dos. He always passed by it on his way home from work throughout the week anyway. So he figured he’d give it a go after day three without coffee.

    He knew Becca and Will, well he knew their names but, that still counts. He would talk to them from time to time and they had his order down to a science. They were the only two employees that have worked there since Phil started going. The other employees always end up leaving after a few weeks for reasons Phil had no idea about.

    The café was cute and quaint. It had a homey feel to it; it looked as if a grandma decorated it and the owners never bothered to change it. It reminded him of home, with his parents, before he decided to move out and move in with Andrew all those years ago. That move was the spark of his creativity but, it also was the destruction. Everything that made Phil, stemmed from Andrew. The way Phil wore is hair, the clothes he wore, the shows he watched. Everything that Phil knew was because of him.

    They had met when Phil was right out of high school. Phil was naïve and still figuring stuff out but, Andrew swept him off his feet and never set him back down. He was a sweet talker and made Phil feel things that no one ever has. He made him feel safe and secure and when people would pick on Phil for his sexuality, he stood up for him and made him feel like nobody matter but him. Until, that trait made a turn for the worst. Everything Phil did had to revolve around Andrew. When Phil woke up, when he went to bed, how he did the laundry. Andrew wanted everything to be perfect, even Phil. He would scold Phil if anything was out of place.

    And that was the thing, Andrew would say the meanest, rudest things to Phil, yet he thought he deserved it. Andrew was Phil’s first love and Phil wanted to keep him as long as he could. After fights, Andrew would come back and apologize; making Phil feel special again. He would cry and say sweet things trying to make up for what was said previously.  Phil tried his best to be everything Andrew wanted but, being something you’re not is a lot of unnecessary work.

    Towards the end of their eight-year relationship, Phil finally saw what Andrew was and everything he had done to Phil. Andrew would never lay a hand on Phil in a violent manner, but Andrew tried his best to ruin Phil’s brain. Phil wasn’t a puppet, where one could grab his strings. He wasn’t a science project that needed revision. He was Phil. He was imperfect and messy; he made stupid puns that no one laughs at and cries watching animal planet. But that is okay, because that is Phil. It took him such a long time to realize that but, once he did. He knew he had to leave.  

    A single tear fell from Phil’s eye landing on his pillow in princess fashion, wiping away the trail it left on his face, Phil dug himself out of the hole that he crawled himself back into. It was hard not dwelling on memories that took up so much of your life. It took Phil so long to realize to that he was worth fight for. He began seeing a therapist that helped him through some of his doubts after he left Andrew. Phil still sees her from time to time, when he thinks he needs to. Five months isn’t a long time to get over an abusive relationship, but it was a start and that’s all Phil needed; a start. Painting used to be his release because he could see the light at the end of the tunnel but now, the light is gone and all there is grey. He can still make out shapes and some memories but there is an overcast refusing to move. Picking up a paintbrush was hard but, letting the dark memories of his past control him was harder.

    Refusing to let another memory cloud his eyesight, he got out of bed. Leaving the covers ruffled and the pillows thrown about, Phil slipped into an old T-shirt and a pair of shorts he didn’t really care about and set out on a mission. Five months may not be a long time to get over an abusive ex but it sure was enough time to lose everything you once thought you could place. Checking under the bed, the bathroom closest, the lounge, and finally on the top shelf of the hallway closet, Phil found what he was looking for; his canvas.

    Grabbing one down from the shelf, he also grabbed his easel that was propped in the corner, and headed back into his room. Phil laid down an old sheet across the floor and set up the easel placing the canvas delicately on top. Rushing about, Phil, gathered up paintbrushes, paint, his color tray, and anything else that he thought he might need. Grabbing his apron that hung with his jackets that he hasn’t needed in months, Phil loosely tied it around the back.

    Staring at the blank canvas, with a paintbrush in hand is something Phil hasn’t done in months but, to back in this position felt right. It was like everything that he had been suppressing and hiding away was diminishing. Every swipe of the brush that touched the canvas erased another memory of Andrew yelling. Every changed color made every foul word that Phil ever thought about himself because of Andrew, vanish. Every time he blended and added dimension to the picture, his past blurred and a brighter future came forward to say Hi.

    Furiously brushing the paint back and forth; blending here and adding shadows there, Phil had finally finished his painting. Taking a step back to see what became of his sleepless night, Phil gasped. He didn’t really pay much attention to what he was painting, or more like who he was painting. His thoughts had taken over and his hands did the rest.

    The mystery boy with no name became what the canvas was showcasing. A chipped smile, unruly Hersey curls, and an outdated purple apron filled the once empty piece of fabric. It was beautiful for only having seen the man for a brief passing of time just that morning. Was Phil really staring at him? He could have sworn he only glanced up occasionally… right?

    Inspecting the portrait, the boy was looking down at his right shoulder, curls flowing over his eyebrows. On the right side of his chest was an empty name tag tugging on the strap of his apron that had been worn by many. The boy was sporting a smirk that showed his top teeth but, his eyes just weren’t right. There was something off about them. Phil tried remembering how the boy looked at him handing him his coffee that morning but, all Phil saw was a missing name.

     How could he have memorized that boys face so well but, not memorize his eyes?

                                                          ______

         Dan has been at the café for a little over a week now and it’s not as bad as it was in the beginning. He is getting along well with his coworkers; Becca still talks a lot but she’s running out of new information to gossip about and Will, well, Will’s still an idiot. Dan clocked out of his shift a few minutes after he was supposed to; they always have a rush right at four o’clock. He can’t seem to understand why April always has him leave at such an odd time. It gets a little chaotic trying to switch over current orders to the next person.

    Dan hung up his apron and walked to his locker. There wasn’t much he kept in there; just his phone, wallet and, keys. Grabbing his belongings, he headed for the door. Shouting goodbyes once again to other workers he could finally call acquaintances, he pushed open the old wooded door making the bell above it chime in goodbyes. Turning left out of the building, Dan clicked the home button on his phone, lighting up the screen. No new messages.

    He didn’t know what he was expecting but, something at least would have been nice. A text or phone call, just to let him know she was alright. Dan’s girlfriend had been on vacation for the last few weeks and he’s only heard from her a couple times. Her friends are better at letting him know she’s safe than she is. She can update Instagram just fine but, sending a text to her boyfriend was apparently too hard. Dan punched in her number on the dimming screen and raised it to his ear.

    Ring.

   We’re sorry but, the person you are trying to reach right now ca-

    Click.

    Wow, how surprising…Shoving his phone into his back pocket, Dan let out a breath. Relationships were hard but, they were even harder when one half of it forgets they’re in one. Thinking of all the things he was going to say to her when, if, she calls, Dan pulled down his long-sleeved shirt he had rolled up by his elbows and wrapped them around his hands. It may have been summer, and it may have been hot but, Dan was going to wear whatever the hell he felt like wearing.

    Scrunching his hands into fists to keep the sleeves in place, Dan picked up his speed. He didn’t live too far from his work place; just a few blocks down actually. He recently moved to the area after what had happened back home. The memory still burned but, he was healing, mentally and physically. Clinching his fists tighter, as his hidden scars started to sting as if on que, he looked up.

    Just when his eyes started to focus after his quick head lift, he spotted a fringe. It was black and looked smooth to the touch. Headphones around the owner’s ears with the cord running over the man’s chest, splitting in half the yellow star that took up most of his red shirt, created a ruffle in the otherwise tame hair. He wasn’t walking particularly fast, nor was he walking slow. He was walking with a sway of his hips and his hands twitching to what Dan assumed was with the rhythm of the music he was listening to through the headphones that canceled out the rest of the world.

    “Do I know him? Why does he look familiar? Those glasses look too big for his he-” Dan thought to himself as the man walked right past him without adverting his eyes anywhere but to right in front of him.  

“One L!” Dan said out loud, quickly reaching up and putting a hand over his mouth, thankful that the man was wearing headphones. It was the man from earlier in the week. Dan hadn’t seen him in the café since then. In all honesty, Dan was kind of disappointed. There was something about how focused and committed that man with one “L” was about what he was working on that inspired Dan. And he wouldn’t mind seeing his face again…

    Dan glanced back to get one more look at the man that put a trance on him for some reason. He has never seen someone that looks quite like that man. He has a unique face, one that Dan wanted to get to know. Before Dan started his in depth analysis of a stranger’s face, his phone started to vibrate. He took out his phone and looked at his screen.

Incoming Call: Carol  

Shit.

    Dan rolled his eyes, swiped right and, answered the call just as he was throwing open the door leading into the building leading to his flat. Stepping carefully up the stairs, Dan said, “Hey Carol! How’s your vacation going so far?”

“Oh my god! It’s been so much fun! The beach is amazing and I never want to leave.” Carol replied, although it was hard to hear with the loud music playing in the background. “Although, Kristen said you’ve been messaging her all week. Can’t you just let me enjoy my vacation without having to check in on me every second of everyday?” Dan heard a squawk of girls in the background all chanting in agreement to what Carol had just said, as she let out a giggle to make what she said not seem so spiteful. He could tell they have already started drinking.

    Dan’s eyes dropped and his head followed. Right outside of his flat’s door, dropping his keys from the now unlocked brass handle, Dan laid his forehead against the off-white door.

    “Yeah, Okay Carol. I just wanted to make sure you were all right and that you were having a good time. I care about you and wanted to make sure you were safe. But it seems as if you would rather talk to literally anybody else than your actual boyfriend. What’s up with that?”

    Dan had been having doubts about his relationship for a few months now. Carol never seemed to care what Dan was up to and never asked how he was anymore. Movies were painful to watch, dinner was always half eaten, and anything past a pat on the back was uncomfortable. They didn’t have a falling out; there was no mention of cheating. Carol changed though and their interests contradicted each other.  

    She became more herself and for that Dan was proud. He had been trying to get her to see her worth for years, even before they started dating. However, unfortunately for him, her new found self didn’t leave time for an outdated Daniel. Dan did his rediscovery, now it was her turn. If she wanted space, he would give it to her.

    Before Carol had a chance to get defensive and place the blame on Dan, he said, “Hey Listen, I know that you want to have fun and enjoy the beach. I understand that; I just want you to know I love you and I want you to be safe. I’m a phone call away if you need me. Love you and I’ll talk to you when you get back. Bye Carol.”

Click.

    He hung up before she had a chance to reply. Her new found self wanted to do all these new and adventurous things that Dan would never dream of doing. She held a little bit of resentment because of it. She wanted this fun life full of Instagram worthy pictures with Dan by her side but, Dan was okay playing Mario-Kart in the living room until 1am and talking walks through the same parks. He tried to be what she wanted but, his dreams kept him in Manchester. Everything he had ever worked for was there.

    Pushing his unlocked door open, a cool breeze coming from his flat brushed past him. He was one of the lucky ones to find a flat that had AC. He threw his keys on the breakfast bar in the kitchen and headed to his bedroom. Not bothering to take his shoes off, Dan fell face first into his bed, letting out a sigh. Dan’s eyes started closing and his head started to clear when –

Bzz-bzz-bzz

April: Hey Dan. Sorry to bother you after work but, I need to talk to you about your schedule. We have had somebody else quit and I need to move you to our evening shift.

Ugh.

#lmmye #i hope you guys enjoy it #i actually like this one #please be easy with me im still new to this #if you see any mistakes feel free to message me so i can fix them #phanfic #phanfiction #my first fic #chapter 5 #phan #dnp #dan and phil #daniel howell #dan howell #phil lester #amazingphil #painter/baker au #feel free to ask me questions!

[noexit-ff]

38. Part 2

Looking at the crowd, this has to be the craziest moment in my whole career “thank you so much London, this is the craziest moment in my life right now. Selling out a stadium right here in London town, I will take this moment with me when I go back to LA. I love y’all so much, all y’all that came out here to turn up with me, I am blessed. Thank you and goodnight” waving as I walked backwards off the stage, placing the mic on the stage floor. I will take this moment with me, turning around and jogging off to the edge of the stage “you killed that shit nigga!” Ant spat, hugging him “that was the craziest shit I done, I am so fucking hype” jogging to the back of the stage “they want you back on the stage cuz, they chanting your name and shit, stadium status cuz” Robb spat, this shit is crazy for me “we got to admit this date was the best” Trey said “I want to do it again, I wish I did another date now but we off to France, but I would do it again. Best believe I will be back” I pointed at my videographer “London, thank you” I sad before Ant passed me a towel “now let’s try and get you out of here” I need to get changed first “great concert” some dude said, shaking his hand “thank you” walking by people just shaking their hands, I am so hype “that was on a different level Chris” Tim said, shaking his hand “thank you homie, thank you for coming out here. Catch up soon homie” I need to go, it’s late and I have gone over the allocated time but fuck it I will pay for it “oh my god, is that Majesty? Little momma” picking her up “Chris!!” She yelped “uncle Chris to you” Noella said again having to always remind her, Majesty hugged me tight “so good to see you” Noella hugged me “the show was amazing family” I cooed out “I am glad you came out, honestly and Leandra. I saw you in the corner, I only saw your eyes” Leandra slapped my arm “nigga” hugging Leandra, good to see the Barbados family.

Placing my slides on, I will get my sneakers when I get on the tour bus. EJ done left me with a white tee and shorts, that dumbass. Placing my cigarette between my lips, tapping Instagram and waited for it to load up. Hearing a light knock at the door, moving the cigarette away from my lips “who is it!?” I shouted, I swear Cass is out there anyways “Ant nigga” it’s just him “come in nigga” seeing the first post being Robyn with Princess, that is the cutest shit ever. Look at them both, the stomach looks like it has grown “you look like you ready to go back to the hotel?” Ant said, looking down at my fit smiling “EJ is a dumbass, I will get changed on the bus” commenting on the picture ‘I miss you all so much’ pressing send “you called Robyn back, I mean she asked for you to call her” shaking my head “I ain’t get the chance. I just had a shower and just checking Instagram now, she good? She ain’t leave me a message?” taking a drag of my cigarette locking my phone “she told me to tell you to call, she just wanted to know the concert was going well. But yeah she told me some shit, you know Sinko ain’t come with us? So she says she saw Jessica with Sinko” I froze blowing the smoke out from my lips “huh?” furrowing my eyebrows “what?” that shit is not right “he the same nigga to tell me how stupid the bitch is, he would disrespect her constantly when she was with me” Ant shrugged “I wasn’t around then but Robyn said she saw her and him together” this is not right “right, let’s go” I will call Robyn when I get on the bus when it is less hectic.

Pressing my phone to my ear walking to the back of the bus, closing the door behind me “baby, I was waiting for you to call me” Robyn said down the phone “it’s so good to hear you shawty, I am missing you like crazy out here” throwing my packet of cigarettes on the bed “your voice sounds rough, I hope you’re not getting ill Chris” rubbing my neck “I just kind of got off stage a while ago, I did the most Robyn. Ant will send you the videos, the shit was amazing. I will get someone out to check on my throat though, it is hurting but it doesn’t help smoking and shit” sitting on the edge of the bed “I bet you are smoking way more than you usually do too, I saw those pictures from Amsterdam. I was jealous but you looked so happy, I am very proud of you Chris, doing so well in Europe. I just wish I was with you but then your schedule is so tight, I wish you didn’t do that. I bet you’re getting yourself tired and ill” here Robyn goes “it’s cool, I want to be back for you. I said I will be back and I will be. Don’t worry about me, how is Bean? He good, not annoying you at night?” I think Robyn is sleeping well at night because she don’t call me “he actually stays still for me, I think it is you. You rile him up, poking my stomach and doing random shit” busting out laughing “I can’t wait to come back and annoy you” clearing my throat “Ant said you saw Sinko, how?” I questioned “I was just going out for lunch with Jen, we stopped at the red light and they was together. Just walking, I am not lying. I made Jen confirm to me. I was thinking, I have time on this. Nothing has happened on this tour, maybe he is causing issues for you? You kept saying to me how does she know where you are, how did she know you was in the lobby that time on your own. Listen to me, I have been thinking. Why has he stayed behind? What is he up too? I want to test this out, invite him to you. I am confident in you, tell him to come to you. He will come. Why is he hanging with a woman your wife fought!?” rubbing my chin “because he hates you” I blurted out “why hang with a man that hates me? He is willing to ruin you, use your brain Chris. Sink, I have never liked him” I am so angry, it’s him and it has to be because it all comes together “your family came out anyways, good seeing them. They got VIP, don’t worry” I chuckled “I am so jealous of them, I saw the picture you took with them” I know Robyn is jealous “I don’t know why you were hanging with a man that hates your wife Chris” Robyn is not going to let it go.

Putting my jean shirt over my Adidas hoodie, grabbing my phone from the bed and opening the door. Walking by the rows of bunk beds “Majesty, little momma. You on the bus” she ran off quickly, I am glad they came on the bus “are y’all coming to the after party?” there is a few of the Barbados lot that came out, I love it “oh no, I am too old for that. I will be babysitting Majesty” Noella’ mom said “cool, I mean I don’t mind. You can come” looking further down the bus, how has Yinka got on the bus. This shit is disrespectful, I know the boys are on the bus but why bring girls and especially girls that want my dick. I don’t want the family to think this is what I do, I am not happy “Chris” Noella nudged me “huh?” looking down at her “you went off for a little daydream there, but we was saying. We are coming if you don’t mind” nodding my head “that is fine, it’s a shame. I have to fly out tomorrow, I would have loved to spend some time with you all” it’s really appreciated that they actually did come “Monica would have come but she is looking after Robyn and she is being hard headed with her mom” I chuckled “I know my wife” she is very hard headed.

Stepping off the tour bus “take the family back to their hotel ok?” I said to the driver, hearing the screams already and the camera flashes. Stepping to the side “make sure the family come off” seeing Yinka step off and I turned my head, I don’t want to know. She stood at the side of me, why is she waiting with me “careful with those heels” holding my hand out for Noella, she grabbed my hand as she walked down laughing “thank you” she grinned “what about me?” Noella baby daddy said “I ain’t gay bro, come on” waving them out “Chris, you come here, I don’t want you being behind” Frank said “follow me” I said to Noella, waving at the fans as I walked into the club “Chris Brown in the building” they already announce me and I ain’t even in the place yet..

Drinking from the bottle of Ciroc bopping my head, the photographer came over to me. Placing my arm around Noella as he took the photos “there is a lot of females in this spot but she keeps giving me looks” Noella pointed at Yinka “ignore her, she is mad thirsty. She wants me so bad like it is disrespectful, but the boys trying to hit it, I don’t want no part of it. She is putting herself out there like that she is going to get burnt” Noella side eyed her “this bitch, I will slap her face on behalf on Robyn” I chuckled “forget it” I shouted over the music, I have too much shit on my mind like Sinko. Is he really setting me up. He’s blood gang, they ain’t snitches in that way. That can’t be, why would he want to do something so petty. It’s fucking with my mind so much, getting my phone out of my pocket and my phone screen lit up. My smile grew, the pregnancy photoshoot of Robyn on her own makes me so happy. She looks so beautiful, these pictures are for us and I prefer that because why should we show the world, fuck them “look how beautiful she looks” Noella pointed, nodding my head smiling unlocking my phone.

Tapping on the picture to upload, even in the club I can’t stop thinking of my wife. I thought I would upload a picture from the photoshoot, this picture of us together makes me happy. We was butt naked here too, you can’t see her boobs or anything, I covered those with my arm. Typing a caption out ‘I am missing my wife and baby so much, this is from the pregnancy photoshoot. Funfact: We both was naked in this shoot and my dick got hard, I know @badgalriri felt the poke’ giggling to myself as I pressed send, that is a fact and it did happen “alright, I am outta here. I want to go” locking my phone and placing it in my pocket “we might as well go” Noella started gathering her things but I think the rest want to stay “it’s ok, stay. Shit is free, you’re with me so you will get the service still” Noella is ready to go, stepping down from VIP “I am going, look after the family for me” I said to Ant, I need to rest like Robyn said and I am feeling it too. Feeling a hand on my arm “who the hell you touching!” Noella spat and the hand got yanked off me, looking behind me seeing Noella “and you are!?” Yinka said “I am his cousin bitch, don’t touch him. Touch him again or lay eyes on him again watch, you bitches can’t even leave a married man alone” Cass got between them both “let’s go ladies” I grinned at Noella “little Noella got heated huh, calm down little one” I think Noella been dying to do that.

Sitting in the back of the car with Noella “you didn’t have to leave you know or do that?” my voice is so rough “I did it on behalf of my pregnant cousin, I heard about her. Robyn told me, she is fucking disrespectful, how desperate. Like leave the fuck alone” rubbing my hands together laughing “females don’t know the word no, I am done with the cheating bullshit. I done it all and I don’t want it” feeling my phone vibrate in my pocket “it’s ok, you have changed a lot and this Chris is my favourite” seeing the caller I.D “I need to take this” I said before answering the call “Sinko, you finally answer my call? You too busy for me now?” he ain’t shit, I hate him “nah homie, just sorting the family out. I saw your text? You want me to come out there?” I don’t want him too but it makes me wonder, why is he staying behind for what. I rather he be close to me then to my family “yeah, come to France” this will be interesting for him to come along though, see what shit he can create but I will beat his ass and I will think I will do it before I even get back to America.

Laughing out loud, why is Chris like this. He didn’t need to tell anyone that he got hard on a photoshoot, he is actually annoying. God I miss his stupid self, I am still trying to get over him getting hard. I did nothing to him but get naked, he says because he smelled the pussy which is stupid, I mean he is stupid but it’s funny, shaking my head laughing even more “girl, what you laughing at over there?” my mom questioned, snuggling into the corner couch. I made Chris get a corner couch for us because I love them “you know the story I told you about the photoshoot? Chris getting happy?” my mom let out an oh “you are both nasty, thank you nobody else was there. Some type of porn shoot” I gasped “mom, it was not a porn shoot. Please” she is so weird, let me comment back ‘I swear to god, I hate you. I am not even going to entertain this behaviour online! Nigga!’ I don’t want to continue his stupidity but it’s funny “did my sister have fun there, did Chris give them VIP?” my mom asked “yes he did mom” I said through gritted teeth, feeling my abdomen tighten “god” I breathed out “you have those pains again? She said those are just getting you ready for birth” I hate it because they randomly come “yeah, yeah. I don’t think I can do it, I can’t push a whole baby out mom, I am so scared” I want a baby but not the pain, I am going to cry and scream so much “having unprotected sex gives you babies, god teaching you a lesson to keep your legs closed next time” my mouth hung open at my mom “but I want a baby, just not the pain. Why are you even saying about sex, just drop it” so annoying.

Hearing the buzzer go off, looking at my mom to move because I don’t want to move “I will get it, just because you are in pain my baby” smiling lightly at my mom “but do you know how to do it? Just look at the security camera first and then tell me” my mom walked by me “watch it, you nearly kicked poor Princess” she clearly sees the white bundle, poking my bottom lip out watching Princess look at me and then walk away. I need to put her on the couch with me but I can’t move right now “it is Jen!” my mom shouted “ok, that is fine. Open the gate first, watch her walk in and then open the door for her” I shouted back, it’s like jail but it’s better to have this then anyone walking in. My uterus is doing it all today, my god I wish it would stop.

Watching Jen walk around the couch “second visit today bitch, you miss me?” this is nice, my only person that likes me “of course I do, I love you bitch” Jen lifted my legs up and sat down, placing my legs on top of her lap “saw your dog, she looked so sad” I sighed out smiling “poor baby, my mom nearly kicked her. She is such a pain” Jen gave me a faint smile “it hurts me so much, I don’t like this rift between you both. This is you and Mel, I don’t understand how this came about. I think she was aiming it more at Chris but then forgot that is the man you love and your husband. I hate this Robz” I shrugged “what do you want me to say? She is lonely and I don’t want to know Jen. Right now it is not about Mel, it’s about me. Forget her!” I don’t want to hear about the bitch right now, my notification pinged. Bringing my phone up to my face seeing that Chris replied, a smirk played on my face opening the page and reading what he wrote ‘why you playing? You felt that shit! Poking your left butt cheek. Sidenote: Send me a new nude’ shaking my head laughing, he is actually annoying “you seen what Chris put up? He is being a dog” I said aloud replying back to the message ‘Didn’t feel a thing Mr Softy and how about you enter my messages, seriously lol!’ he is bad “I did and I was laughing so hard, he aired it out like it was normal” he better text me instead.

#Chrianna #Chrianna FF #Fanfiction

[ilovedhim-whydidyouhadtokillhim]

I did this... It's an embarrasing number5xreader

Title: That's bullshit in any Language.

(I don't mean to be rude. It's a line Five says to the handler. Ill put un this post part 1 and 2.)

So. This is Five living his life with the Sparrow Academy, and you are an editor that wants to publish his story. It's a few years After you came back to 2019... And it might have some of my ideas on time travel and the comission. Nothing canon or comic canon because i haven't had time to read it yet. Sorry for the grammar.

Chapter 1:

There are plenty of your reasons that I don't understand. Why did you come back? Was it really because of your family or was saving the world that matters? Did you came back just to help them? or because you love them?.-

Those words hit the brain of your interlocutor like a gold lingot adorned with a lemon peel. Effect only achieved by the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, which was very far from this part of the universe.

-What do you mean by that?-. He replied annoyed, you were sitting next to a window, in front of you there was a young adult. You were wearing a white blouse and ankle-length skirt. -Well, if you have powers that go beyond reason, and you are capable of leasing with the physical laws that bind everyone else, shouldn't you understand that these are simply events that had to happen in a certain order so that your brothers and everyone else should simply disappear? .-

-What?- He said sissing, with a very pissed off look. You had spent the afternoon listening to his fantastic story. As an assistant to the chef editor at a science fiction publishing house, you thought the young man was trying to sell you his story. Mostly because of the effort he made to make it seem real, he probably wanted to give it a transmedia approach. You thought that perhaps it could work, uploading an internet page, a video game for smartphones and several Facebook pages would sell well too, you saw the future and it was probably easily adapted to the cinema or to a series, you even thought about the fanfiction. If you hadn't detected so many narrative problems… Which on the other hand gave realism to these misfits.

The expression on Five, the pseudonym under which he introduced himself, made it clear that he couldn't believe what he was hearing. But that's how new artists are, they live in their stories, their delirium. And it's understandable. You began talking again. -What Mr. Reginald told Diego, seems to me, it's true for everyone. But at least he's honest about it. In all their actions, these guys are all marked by their father, it’s really their main drive to act.-

You felt a slight guilt, someone so fanatical about their own creation had to put a lot of himself into it, so probably Diego, Klaus, Vanya and all of the others were just a human personification of a hurt part of his adolescence. -Excuse me for telling you this but even with fifty-something years you went to your father for advice. A man who was not older than you in his timeline. Even in the middle of all that conspiracy. You chose to believe in him. -

The young man seemed somewhat nervous, he was sweating a bit and his eyebrows were narrowing in a strange way. -Are you from the association?- he said sweating - Is this a new kind of psychological attack?-. These clarifications gave you a bad feeling, but you decided to joke: -Do you see me with a briefcase?-. It didn't seem to work as you liked. His face showed a terrible aversion and you felt fear. You took your things and left enough money to pay for your coffees, on the table.

-I think it is an excellent work of fiction, Mr. Five. But I think you should solve your problems and calm down a bit before you want to publish it. I don't know what had happened to you to come up with all this but it seems to me that with a good medication and a correct edition you could go far. You are still young and you could even have a great future as an author. But I can't work with someone in your current state.- You took your card out of the bag and gave it to him somewhat shakily. His face changed from rage to disbelief and you left a bit angry and scared.

He scrutinized the white card, it was made with a fancy paper. It had “Dark Horse Books" printed in black. -In my dimension these are "comics" instead of books - he smiled. He hit his head on the table "> your last name <,> your first name <",> phone number <,> office address <.

He realizedrealizado were just a smart girl. -She's probably right. Maybe in all this time I have just lived as a scared child under the table of a man who is not even my father, but the one from Sparrow Academy. After all, even the idiot Luther decided to make his life of his own in this world ...-.

Five called Diego. -Hello brother, another Apocalypse? - Five heard a tone that wanted to be playful but actually sounded concerned. -None, I just want to chat. Are you available for dinner? .-. Five had started college not long ago. Mr. Hargreeves had gotten the adoption papers of Five just as he would have been one of the boys he previously adopted. So everyone was amazed when that young man who looked about 20 "was actually 34".

When you were at home doing office work, you were surprised to know that your appointment for that day had been canceled and that you had stayed all afternoon listening to a poor schizophrenic or drug addict speak.

Chapter 2:

The uneasiness of the meeting with the boy passed and a few weeks later you had time in your schedule for a new interview with the young man who was supposed to arrive on that occasion. You have had coffee and the middle-aged man left.

Nothing out of the ordinary. More stories about zombies and society, it would be edited because it was an acquaintance of the manager. You were beginning to rethink working with that strange young man and his story. You remembered that sometime in your teens you heard about some babies that were born a without their mothers having been pregnant. And a kind of low-profile superhero league that most people took as a hoax to divert attention from things like Watergate, the White House affair among other things.

Probably if the boy was right you were looking at an excellent informant. And it could be an amazingly revealing book ... Especially with all the mythology surrounding JFK. You turned to the window and the young man was watching you from the other block. That again, gave you the chills. You saw him cross the street. It was fortunate that your cup did not have more than the sip you took or you would have spilled it all over yourself.

The young man sat in front of you, the husband of the owner of the cafeteria asked the young man what he wanted. The boy looked stunned. "HAZEL?" The man looked at him for a moment, because that was his ñame but the man was no acquaintance of him. "Excuse me young man, I don't remember meeting you." The boy laughed. -Don't worry, you reminded me of a friend, but it can't be you. It's good to see you anyways.- The man served their coffee somewhat puzzled and walked to talk to his wife, the woman turned her head the table and denied knowing him. Ultimately, neither of them knew who the young man was. This definitely raised several questions but you didn't know which ones. Mostly mportant, what would the young man talk about now?.

You were silent for a while. Five had his hands in his pockets. And you kept looking at the street. You saw how the steam from the coffee made waves above the cup. Again you wear a shirt and skirt. This time a white one with polka dots. Nothing that you could know of but the boy had been a bundle of confusion the last few days. He was not very enthusiast about human company, but he decided to separate from all his previous life experiences and for this he began studying economics. So meeting you at that moment in those clothes made him really dubious about why he was talking to you. Was he really addicted to the apocalypse as you and Diego said?.

Tired of the silence, you asked him a question that seemed uncomfortable for both of you. -The previous time, you only told me your nickname, Mr. Hmmm.- The man looked at you with surprise and smiled at you. -Francis... Reginald, Hargreeves.- you raised your eyebrows. Behind all that delirium, the young man did not look like a Reginald, although on a second thought he dressed like an upper-class young man. He was probably one of those rich young men whose excessive education, gets them a little upset with the world before they should be done with it. -You can call me Frank ... or Five. My siblings, they usually call me Five. So as not to be confused with my father. - The young man seemed somewhat annoyed.

-Oh, it's okay Frank. -, -What do you think of the proposal? . Despite the trust that the young man had placed in you, there was something that prevented you from treating him as a young man of his age. He obviously was not over 23. You didn't know if it was his story, where he is over 60 years old, if it was perhaps his possible mental illness or the aura of presumption that accompanied him.

-Ohhh. I discussed some of that with some of my siblings. They do not agree.- You imagined him sitting at an empty table like the last supper. Except he was just talking to himself. -I see you still don't believe me.-, the young man took out his phone and showed you a picture of him with his family. You could see a huge man, a condecorated policeman, a renowned violinist, an underground model who had worked for several covers with your publishing house, an actress who had just won an Oscar and the little brother. Now that you saw him next to all his family, his story was starting to make a little more sense. Besides, they were all obviously different. Now you thought that the young man could not be more than 21 ... And that it must be difficult to be good by the side of those successful siblings.

The young man seemed to guess your thoughts or maybe it was the pious look you gave him. -Whatever you are thinking, is not the case. I just study for fun. I actually work in a government agency. And believe it or not, for a couple of years I have been in therapy for the post traumatic stress that living so many years alone caused me. Stranded at the end of the world Dolores!-. The young man clapped his mouth quickly, that seemed to hurt. He turned completely red. You didn't know if it was because of the hit or if he had said something embarrassing. While he was telling you his story, his subconscious was quite careful to hide all the details from you about his wife, named Dolores.

And that was. Curiously, the point that he had discussed earlier days with his psychologist, apparently he had not understood (or had not wanted to understand) that the talk he had with you reminded him of his Wife. Only this time, it was really a person outside of himself who answered him with such sharpness and intelligence. And he wasn't going to accept it.

Not knowing all that internal debate, you took another sip of the coffee. "My name is in case you are interested." You said upset. He lowered his hands from his face, it was completely red. -Yes, I know , I just remembered someone while talking to you. - There was no going back after that statement. "Thank you for taking an interest in my story and for listening to a complete stranger say nonsensical things." He now seemed like a completely different person. This boy's range of emotions is a carnival.

-Don't worry, it's part of my job. To tell the truth, I confused you with a young writer and I was quite tough because he is a recommended person to whom we must publish.-. You smiled at him. Apparently the young man liked your comment. -Wow, I must be flattered then.-, -Pretty much actually. We are a very famous publisher present all over the world.-, -And timelines ... it's a joke.-. The young man said when he saw your expression. -For such and such a reason. I look very young. But I think there is something that is not clear to you ... I am also 34. I am not really a young person.- Five had decided to start living according to the age of his brothers. Since he had that opportunity.

You had a pleasant talk, and exchanged phones with the young man. Since the one he had was your work phone number. Probably something good had come out of this confusion. It had gotten quite late, and you had to be on the other side of the city. To finish a part of the work you needed to get up early the next day, a taxi would cost you a lot. The young man saw your concern. -I can take you home, if you want,-. He said with a mischievous smile. You didn't know what he was planning. But you accepted, and walked with him to a parking lot, while you were walking, he asked your address and places near your house, -Oh! I understand, near <>> and that <<< >>>, of course I do know what building you are talking about.- He said while rubbing his chin and doing some imaginary calculations in the air. Being quite far from people, he asked you to take him tightly by the arm. You took it and suddenly you felt something pull you back. You closed your eyes. Next, you were in front of your building.

"What had just happened?" You saw him up, he was a little taller than you and he had a mocking laugh. -I'm sorry that teleportation is not a gift that everyone has. But at least you already tried, right? -. You felt how your intestines took their place again and you got a bit nauseous. You ran to some nearby bushes but you were lucky that you weren't as sick as you thought. You wiped yourself with your sleeve. And you thanked him a bit puzzled. You saw him inquisitively. You had so many questions, but none seemed prudent to be the first. He laughed. He actually seemed like he was quite nice and smart when he wasn't an arrogant know-it-all. If all the things he said to you were true, then he probably did know a lot more than your average citizen.

He accompanied you to your door, said goodbye to you with a kiss on the cheek. He disappeared in front of you with a beam of blue light. Now you had an existential crisis knowing that the world had already ended twice in a past and a future that were actually the past of the present that you lived. And that was nothing at all digestible. After seven years working without missing a single day due to illness, you decided to take a week of unforeseen rest.

I had this posted here too: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26520721/chapters/64640455#workskin

#five hargreeves #tua number five #tua five #five x reader #five fanfiction #the umbrella academy #tua #the hargreeves #aidan gallagher

[finsterhunde]

Explaining what happened

So I figured I would explain what pushed me to how low I got in a traumatic spiral these couple months, more so for future reference than anything.

I wanted photos and memories about my first childhood dog Spot. In the process my mother dug up a ton of traumatic repressed memories that I’m not yet strong enough to face. It also turns out that she had been lying about the death of my last childhood dog, causing additional pain when I found her out.

Having old memories dug back up is extremely damaging to my mental state. I wanted cute little facts about my puppy that I would have been too young to remember. Instead what she told me brought back flashes of abuse.

This escalated and what finally pushed me over the edge was that I started going back to my old compulsive rituals; the worst one being the need to check up on my birth father online, seeing where he was in the country, what he was doing, if he was alive, etc.

Now this originally was something that had a purpose. The divorce was extremely messy. And when he was kicked out of the house and we were in the process of changing the locks we were living in terror that he could come back at any time with a firearm and mow us down. He was threatening us, threatening to abduct us kids, and he had made severe violent threats in the past. As of 4 years ago he actually assaulted an RCMP officer. So he definitely was still capable of violence at the time. He used to have an extensive gun collection.

Checking up on him was a safeguard. If he didn’t know where I was, if he wasn’t where we were, we were safe. But gradually I stopped needing to do this. I ran away and lived with a friend. My mom and brother moved. He wouldn’t know where any of us lived.

But of course, that’s not how trauma is. Trauma is complicated and that was one of my safety rituals. To compulsively check his social media. Just in case.

He got old and obese and pathetic. He has a heart attack pretty much every year. He’s nothing short of a reanimated corpse at that point.

But in my traumatized brain I’m still that tiny malnourished boy and he’s still that hulking behemoth of a man. Just like in a nightmare where you can’t fly and no matter how fast you run you move at a snail’s pace. My rational mind knows I could easily overpower him, but my instincts tell me he’s as dangerous as he was 10 years ago.

Gradually though I began to heal as I lived with my friend. And I didn’t feel the compulsive need to make sure he wasn’t an immediate threat.

Until now. When my mother started opening old wounds.

A couple days ago I had an uncontrollable compulsive need to check his social media again.

And found some horrible stuff.

He’d been making creepy threatening status updates every year on my birthday, discussing how he wanted to find me “wherever I was...”

and he wrote “music” with lyrics about enacting the vengeance of god, thunder and brimstone and all that.

He threatened to kill any of the RCMP officers he is convinced are “hunting” him.

And in my desire to document evidence like I did with Wannabe, still not waking up from this maladaptive safety ritual of “knowing your enemy” I went through his four different facebook pages screenshotting things.

And it just got worse.

He posted photos of himself at my age, and I realized that I don’t take after Mark Hamill like I say I do. I take after him.

I mean, I figured. But it was very upsetting to see photos of him as an older teen and pretty much see a non-sickly version of myself staring back at me. He was actually handsome. Could I have looked like that if I wouldn’t have been neglected and abused the way I was? Not to mention the disgust I feel at resembling such an evil man.

He had photos of him as a child and he bragged in the comment section about how he abused his dog and “made them crazy” and knowing he was like that even at a young age sickens me.

He idolizes his horrifically abusive dead father. I’d even argue there’s evidence that his dad was a straight up war criminal. There’s photos of the two together where he’s a toddler and his dad is holding him while smoking. It was disgusting.

He’s racist, a trump supporter (in Canada for some reason???) threatened violence against members of a political party here and again, the rampant “vengeance of my god” lunacy.

He was making posts about how the RCMP “attacked him” for being Christian.

For reference the RCMP had a warrant for his arrest and he assaulted an officer so they took defensive action. They had a warrant for his arrest because he threatened them when they earlier that week seized some of his electronics. (they had a warrant for that too)

The official statement for why they were arresting him was because they considered him mentally unwell and a threat to the safety of others.

So knowing that it’s much easier to tell why the RCMP were after him. Having the context paints and entirely different picture doesn’t it?

The case against him is still confidential but apparently he also had the police called on him numerous times for his behavior where he lived at the time. He frequently complained about how the community was “bullying him” for being an outsider.

He also says that they considered him mentally ill for “being Christian.”

And, because when I get into one of my traumatic mental states I have no off switch I started going back deeper. In the past he was seriously harassing politicians and posting stuff that I’m pretty sure is illegal. Unlike Wannabe he never posted anything overtly “I abuse kids” but he did make posts about how he supported physically abusing children and claimed that photos of children being pepper sprayed were “fake” and that they were “spoiled brats.”

I eventually went too far and found something super bad that shook me to my absolute core.

He made a status back when I was in middle school about how pedophiles don’t deserve longer prison sentences than illegal cannabis growers because their crimes “aren’t as bad” and that they “aren’t as dangerous.”

Ironically, he justified this by saying that pedophiles “kill far less RCMP officers”

This is ironic in the fact that he himself would attempt to kill, and afterwards repeatedly threaten to kill, RCMP officers less than a decade later.

So I guess he decided to prove himself wrong?

But yeah. I shut down after that. It was a dogwhistle looking back on it and it frightened me.

The lyrics for another one of his “songs” are basically “laws can mean different things if you know how to pull some strings” which is also terrifying in context.

Other things that made my heart hurt was that the woman he’s with now loves dogs.They had three. One passed away. I fear for those dogs. In an account that’s shared by both of them posts made in support of dogs with “adopt don’t shop” messages and similar are uploaded. It enrages me because he was a backyard breeder and he also killed my puppy. He’s a lying snake pretending to be a good person.

He’s pretending he cares about us kids, painting my mom out to be “the abuser” and saying about how he wished he could take us to games and stuff. He HATED us. He beat us senseless. He was a torturous monster. Seeing him pretend to be a good father broke me. I want a dad. I wanted someone to play catch with me and take me to see the Penguins and teach me how to shave. I didn’t get that. I got a sexual predator instead.

Look at this: I’ve censored as little as I can and that’s largely for personal reasons. Everything he said is wrong.

I was diagnosed with PTSD because of what HE DID TO ME. My brother’s mental health diagnosis (it’s personal and not my place to share) is also because of him. My mom definitely wasn’t a perfect parent but compared to him she’s a saint.

She didn’t work because she had to stay home to ensure he wouldn’t KILL US. And that only started after the Spot incident. She was working extremely long hours before but stopped after I got beaten super bad.

He’s playing the victim and it’s so upsetting. The nerve he has to say “there was nothing wrong with you while I was there” NO. You refused to let us get mental health treatment. I didn’t get diagnosed until you were gone because I wasn’t allowed to see a psychiatrist.

Him wanting us to take our dogs to him is horrific too.

Also I feel bad about the penguins hat. I guess that means that the grooming still works.

Despite denying my mother’s desire for me to be a “wish kid” (make a wish foundation) because “kids don’t deserve handouts” he would donate profits from his failed pub (a story for another day perhaps) at one point to the make a wish foundation. Seeing the photos of him looming over the kid the money helped made me queasy. I don’t know if he thinks he’s covering his tracks or if he just likes being around disabled kids. Both would make sense honestly. I wonder if that had something to do with the confidential reason the RCMP were after him. I really hope it wasn’t. I really really really hope it wasn’t.

But yeah. All that happened and I was unable to sleep. I was terrified. I was crying. I felt guilt for not being brave enough to report him. For being too much of a coward to come forward about what he had done to me.

My friend saw me talking about what was going on on twitter and told me that this was caused by my mom retraumatizing me and I had to cut her out and not engage for my own sake. That I wasn’t ready to face things yet.

That I had gotten worse because mom was ripping open old wounds and that for my health I needed to back off.

So yeah. I agreed with my friend. I am backing off. I am going to be trying to shut that down. As I said on my main blog, my old abusive childhood is dead. I am making a new one. I will use my imagination to keep myself sane and I will retreat into my passions again. Until I am strong enough.

But I know I need to be strong enough. I will confront him someday. I’m just not ready.

#text post #negative #CSA mention #long post #abuse mention