#i am so physically and mentally unwell because of them | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gamergirl-niffler · 4 months

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Very very urgent emergency request! Just stumbled upon your blog after that fluffy Howl fic of yours; couldn't resist sticking around for more of your fantastic headcanons.

I recently experienced something truly awful a few days ago.. While enjoying a party with my friends, the atmosphere suddenly shifted, and I began feeling unwell. Since then, there's been a blank space in my memory. The following day, upon waking up in our shared apartment, I discovered that I must have experienced a sex*** abuse. I'm currently terrified, in pain, and enduring ongoing bleeding from my private area. Trust has become a challenge, and I'm overwhelmed, wishing I could just disappear. Unsure of what steps to take, I find myself reaching out for comfort of any, any kind.. May I humbly request comfort from Dabi, Bakugo, Enji, Todoroki, and Kaminari, along with their girlfriends, who have navigated similar challenges?

If this plea is too much, please feel free to disregard it. I deeply appreciate your writings, as they bring immense comfort to many.

Oh, my dear Anon...

I am so sorry to hear that something like this happened to you. I can only imagine what you feel right now.

Please, if you feel like you need to talk to someone, feel free to drop into my messages and let's chat a little!

I hope those headcanon will bring you at least a little bit of comfort.

Mha men & sexually abused s/o

Dabi

- Dabi is burning with anger. Of course he isn't mad at you, he is mad at the person who even dared to violate you this way.

- He should stay with you but he leaves. Of course he couldn't stay. Touya doesn't leave you because of the disgust or hate. No. He is going for a hunt! It doesn't matter if it's one or a few people... All police could find were few bodies burned beyond recognition.

- Touya returns to your shared apartment, sheds his coat and is all yours from now on. He doesn't speak a word about what happened unless you feel the need to talk about it. He won't press but will listen when you need to throw it all out.

- He knows some doctors that aren't sketchy but at the same time they won't call the police or anything like this.

- Even if you are scared, Touya pushes you to get checked. He of course stays with you to provide comfort and show you that you are safe with him. Touya knows you are suffering mentally but he doesn't want the physical suffering to continue if there is a way to stop/heal it.

- Back at home Touya stays near you. He wishes he could be glued to you but he understands you need some space.

- When you tell him you need any kind of closeness - he is there immediately, wrapping you in his embrace, holding you as close as possible.

- It takes you a bit of a time to open up to him. You tell him everything; and he listens to it without a word.

When you start to cry he just squeezes you harder until you calm down. Once this happens, Touya starts to tell you, "I'm sorry, doll. I am sorry I wasn't there to protect you but from now on... I will always be near. No one will ever hurt you again. I love you and I'll make sure to help you however I can."

- And he really does it. Since that unfortunate day, Touya does everything to make you feel safe and to help you heal; both mentally and physically.

He doesn't push your boundaries but helps you carefully move them as you heal and again open yourself up to him.

Touya never healed himself from his past so seeing you getting better even after such a scary situation makes this villain smile.

Bakugo

- He is pissed but he won't show it openly. You went through enough stress already and his anger wouldn't help someone in your position so he stops himself from yelling.

- Bakugo doesn't immediately push you to talk. He is more concerned about your health so his first step is to convince you to visit a proper specialist. He doesn't want you to be in pain or to suffer.

When you finally agree to visit the doctor, you are going there with your blond guard dog because Katsuki isn't leaving your side. He will even fight the doctor if it means staying by your side through the visit.

- Back at home, Bakugo is completely different than normal. He is calm and quiet around you.

- If he decides to give you a kiss, hug or simply get close to you he'll ask for your permission beforehand. Just to be sure you are comfortable with him and his touch.

- If you are on any medications he makes sure you take them, it's for your own good afterall.

- Katsuki makes sure to provide comfort in every way possible. He cooks or orders your favorite comfort food so the two of you can enjoy some tasty food together.

- When you feel comfortable enough to open up about what happened, Katsuki just pulls you into a tight hug. "It's okay now. You're safe and I'll make sure to get the bastard that hurt you. I'll make him pay."

- And he really does. Whenever you are asleep or busy with something, Bakugo is on his phone or computer, working his ass off to find the person that did it. He is going to make sure whoever did this will pay the appropriate price for hurting you.

- Whenever you need it, he is ready to hold you close while gently caressing your hair and back. He will talk even about the most silly thing just to see you smile just a little bit. Staying quiet is also something he is ready to do, spending time in silence isn't a problem for him.

Enji

- Enji isn't home very often so it's easy for you to hide it all and just choke yourself with this traumatizing experience.

- When he is actually back, he quickly notices the changes in your behavior. You were like a candle light; warm and happy and now? You resembled an extinguished candle... Cold and sad looking.

- It annoys him because he is really trying for you but suddenly you are all distanced for no reason! Not only in everyday life but also in bed.

- Enji finally confronts you, demanding answers from you! He is your lover, so how dare you ignore him?! Of course he is not gentle about it.

- As you reach your breaking point and admit to what happened at the party you went to, he is shocked that something like this happened to you.

- He is not a master of comfort so at the beginning he isn't sure what to do but in the end Enji pulls you into a tight hug. "Forgive me for being so harsh on you. I'll do better."

- This is a promise he actually keeps up with! Enji is trying his best to understand your needs and boundaries now.

- He pays more attention to you, building up the trust again to show you that you can still trust him and nothing has changed between the two of you.

- Enji loves to hold you close and just comfort you when you feel bad. He enjoys cuddling your smaller frame, making sure that you feel protected.

- If you think he will leave it just like that and do nothing about it you are really wrong. He is a Number One hero and whoever dares to hurt you, now has to deal with him. Enji uses all of his contacts and influence to find that bastard.

- He makes sure you are feeling safe and loved again.

Shoto

- Poor guy is deeply confused when one day you go completely quiet. He is worried if you made it home after the party.

- After receiving no information from you, Shoto goes to your place to check on you. Just to be sure you are okay.

- The state he found you in was heartbreaking. His beautiful girlfriend, his little ray of sunshine suddenly being in distress and bad mental shape.

- He approaches you carefully, asking questions to find out what happened.

- When you reveal what happened the night before, he is shocked. How could someone even do this to another person?

- Of course Shoto doesn't judge you. It was beyond your control and he understands but he slowly talks you into going to the right authorities.

- Shoto goes with you everywhere to make you feel good and safe. He won't allow anyone to get too close to you.

- Back at home he is mostly quiet, letting you decide if you feel like talking or doing anything together.

- When you tell him yes, Shoto is all over you. He wants you close to show you all the love he has for you.

- His favorite thing to do is to simply hold your hand. It gives him this feeling of intimacy and shows him you still trust him.

- Shoto's second favorite thing is holding you right before falling asleep. You look so cute and despite what happened, he is happy you are with him. "My love. I am so lucky to have you and I promise you that I won't let anyone hurt you ever again."

- Like every hero he won't let it slide. Shoto will make sure that whoever did this pays for your pain.

Kaminari

- When he finds out, he is terrified and blames himself for this. He had to go with you but a sudden shift in schedulge made him go to work while you went to the party.

- He really doesn't know what to do BUT he quickly gathers himself. You need him and he is there to serve.

- Just like others he accompanies you at the doctor and during the talk with authorities.

- Back at home Denki is really careful around you. Always asking if you need anything, making sure you are okay with stuff he does. He never leaves you alone unless you request him to do so.

- He buys your favorite snack and even tries to bake something you like. Even if he isn't the best at it, he'll try his best for you!

- You feel like watching some silly movie or show? He is there with you!

- Or maybe you feel like just laying down and listening to some music? This dude made a playlist from all your favorite songs!

- Denki is ready to do everything to make you comfortable. Your smile is the most beautiful thing in the world and he is going to work hard for it to appear again upon your pretty lips.

- Even if he blames himself for your harm, he'll never tell you about this but instead he will do EVERYTHING he can to make you feel good again. "We'll make it work, yeah? I won't leave your side and we are going to work through it together." He always assures you with a big bright smile.

- Whoever dared to put hands on you can't sleep peacefully. Kaminari, with the help of his friends, will hunt this bastard down and bring him to justice.

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ylskquevmxv · 1 year

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British insight for those military men fics

Coming from a British person

Use this for your angsty british backstory

Will include:

-insight to healthcare and low income situations

- opinions on the royal family (all negative)

- british food

- talks about home life and low income

• none of them would care for the queens death. They would not be mourning, they would not be sad, they're not tories. If anything theyd be glad and wishing death upon the rest of them. The monarchy sucks the only downside is that we have Charles and camilla now. Diana rest in peace

• to add on to this they wouldnt care for the coronation they would most likely insult it, they probably hate the entire royal family like almost all of the entire uk does. I am repeating this again but they are NOT tories 🚫nuh uh🚫 stop painting, price, gaz and ghost as people who love the royals while soap hates them 💀💀 they all hate the monarchy

• they most likely wouldnt drink fancy tea Pg, Yorkshire, tetley etc are their go to because that's what most of the uk drink especially low income houses as it's the cheapest. Taste of home I guess.

• also they're not out here eating beans on toast whenever they get the chance💀 they're probably eating an entire meal because they're giant men??? Like beans on toast is what parents give to their kids because it's cheap and fills them up, the only time they're having beans is with:

1) breakfast

2) jacket potatoes

3) sasauge and mash

4) Gregg's bean and sausage pasties

• also soap probably eats beans too?? I've seen fics where hes wholeheartedly against beans like??? Hes Scottish?? I know he ate beans as a kid, no one grows up and decides to have a mohawk otherwise

• they're all meat and potatoes type of men (like all british men) that's it. That's the facts

• fries =/= chips

• also british people are like really lazy when they speak

"would you like a cup of tea?"= "fancy a cuppa?"

"I'm just not in the mood to do that" = "cant be arsed"

"How are you?" = "ya alright?"

"Should we get some Chinese/Indian/Italian/etc food?" = "you want a chinese/Indian/italian/etc?"

• we tend to just drop words off In sentences because the person were talking to probably already understands what we mean and because like I said we're lazy

• British accents also vary so much!!! Even if you're from the same street you'll probably have a different accent and we also swear a lot, we also use a bunch of mixed slang as thete are people from everywhere over here (poland, Bulgaria, Romania, Lithuania, india named from just my class)

• Irish travellers are also really common so their would probably be a few in recruitment idk why people dont add Irish people to their fics ?? maybe they fear putting Scotts and irish people together (watch big fat gypsy wedding for more insight I used to love that show)

• Aussies understand us pretty well (shout out to my uncle Andy) a lot of our language dialects are pretty similar and our humour is both pretty dry and blunt

• also British people dont care for like anything?? Even tho we have free healthcare most of us just slap a wet paper towel on it and call it a day. The most reaction you'll get is a room temperature ice pack

• british teeth are also something that Americans dont really understand since we have free healthcare but I'll they to simplify it. our Healthcare is free and so is dental care but only if you're younger than 16 except for check ups etc and unfortunately alot of us are born into low income households whose parents are a)mentally unwell b) physically unwell c) involved with drugs or are just simply neglectful so that means a lot of us arent taken to the dentist and by the time we are old enough to take ourselves we would have to pay for it and some of us just dont have the money for things like braces

• also I really want to see someone include chavs/roadmen in their stories because i think it would be funny plus some of them are really nice and genuinely curious when asking

• there are things called council houses/ council estates and they arent the nicest places to live and are usually not in the best shape but it's a place to sleep, most of the people who live there are usually people who live on benefits and are really lovely (might be biased I used to live in one tho), you usually have to top up on gas and electric every so often via a card (gas) and a key (for electric) usually able to get these topped up from you local corner shop

• alot of the nosies we make are as if we're cave men

*throws paper ball into trash*

Anyone in a 5mile radius: WOOOOO

• we also make up chants alot?? Idk why but we're just a musical country usually has something about your mum, your nan, a nonce, or one of the many other british wonders *nonce = pedo

• our beauty standards are a lot less extreme like theres obviously beauty standards but there are a lot more regular looking people on tv over here rather than supermodels ?? I've been to America and some of the people on tv you'd swear they were made in a factory for hot people only. Let people be regular

• British tv has a commercial every 15 minutes or so and our commercials dont offer lawyers or medication, some our commercials have songs, silly gags in them or are terrifying (check out: money supermarket, the antibiotic song, the meerkat adverts just to name a few)

• our eggs are orange not yellow

•our sandwiches have butter on them (not all but most) + brits arent much of foodies we just eat to survive really especially during the cost of living

• our drinking culture is a big thing over here, a lot of us start drinking around 13

• we have stores like asda, tesco, lidl, aldi, iceland, sainsburys and big Tesco, corner shops are really common depending on if they're owned by a large company or not some of them arent in perfect shape and are run my people from other countries but they have good stuff so who cares about how they look

• you have to be 16 to buy an energy drink and 18 to buy alcohol/ cigarettes

• outside cats are a thing, they're not homeless they just come as they go

• for some reason people are really classist?? Because how dare the poor be alive, and I'm not talking about just rich people being bad to the poor if you have bad living conditions expect to be made fun of by other low income people 💀 you'll be lucky if yoire funny because otherwise you will just be getting bullied.

•our weather is pretty much grey, our grass is almost never fully green and usually patchy, our summers are so hot they cause wild fires because we have no humidity and no air con, our winters are a hit or miss either too cold or a regular day

• tv shows that most of us call soaps: eastenders, coronation street, emmadale and hollyoaks

• some uk shows, naked attraction, snog marry avoid, friday night dinner, bad education, plebs, come dine with me, him & her, some girls, the Keith lemon show, gavin and stacey, not british but Derry girls, inbetweeners, anything with philomena cunk in it, the great british bake off

• Some documentaries (ish) for those who love information: old people homes for four year old, emergency, educating greater Manchester, educating Cardiff, poor kids, anything with stacey Dooley or louis theroux in

• it's kinda hard to describe the uk to someone whose never witnessed or experienced it.

#simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader #captain john price x reader #john price x reader #price x reader #gaz x reader #kyle gaz garrick x reader #kyle garrick x reader #soap x reader #john soap mactavish x reader #john mactavish x reader #simon riley x reader #big beefy british military men #call of duty x reader #cod x reader

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skippyv20 · 2 months

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Skip, Julie here. I worked for 43 years in fantastic jobs. Some as an employee, in HR, and in Senior Management. My employers were very well known Companies or Government. They had sick leave policies where employees from CEO to newest employee were entitled to medical leave and privacy of all medical information.

As a Manager I was aware of some very serious medical issues and we offorded those people complete privacy. Time to heal was dependent on their medical team despite how much they might have been needed in the workplace (perhaps being the only person with authority or highest level skill to deal with something vital).

A couple of these medical issues dealt with very serious surgery plus complications, and convalescence to deal with consequences of how their bodies or lives were changed and the mental processes they had to go through to understand and accept the changes.

Under no circumstances would I have ever thought it necessary to inform the other employees what was happening with the ill employee other than to update the return date. These people worked closely together but knew the value of allowing the one who was ill the time and space to fully recover. My contacting the employee for an update on whether they needed us was their choice to make, not mine or the company.

Princess of Wales is a senior member of a firm and a much loved member of a family. In her case she has a world wide family who care that she has been seriously ill and as family members we just want her to fully recover physically and mentally from her ordeal. We care and I think that says so much about how highly people around the world think of her.

As a senior member of the firm her bosses are aware of her illness and prognosis and have given her sick leave based on medical advice. I know the taxpayers of the UK keep up the mantra of BRF works for us, we pay them. Ok they are shareholders in the Company and they have an interest in ensuring the Company is providing the service they expect from it. The Company is BRF but no Company provides health information on senior employees except the CEO for obvious reasons. The company continues to operate even if a very important senior staff member is unwell.

My personal view is Catherine has been through a major abdominal surgery that has immediate and long term consequences for her. For HER, her husband and her 3 children. She does not owe any of us an explanation or an update. She loves her job and she does it brilliantly. She is totally loyal to King and Queen, her parents, siblings and the Commonwealth. She will never intentionally cause harm to her husbands family members.

People need to give her the same space we would all expect if we were seriously ill. I know people want to know what happened to her but really it is none of our business. Our role is to allow her time to fully heal so she can return to her role in the Company as soon as possible. No doubt she is already working behind the scenes.

I’m sorry this is long winded but I feel for her. 20 years of trying to please everyone yet when she needs some help people turn on her some will be because they are worried others for their own reasons. People need to send a private message of support but otherwise let her heal.

Princess of Wales, Catherine, God bless and keep you and your family fully protected and return you to full health We await your return, with patience, to your essential role for the Monarchy and we look forward to seeing you with your beautiful family vase soon as you feel you are fully recovered.

This is a lovely, thoughtful post Julie…no not too long. I greatly appreciate the time and your experience you have shared with us. I am quite proud of the fact that the people that come to this blog, are sensitive and caring and express nothing but support for Catherine and her family. People are so concerned with “accountability “ these days….people are simply forgetting that behind the public life….is a real life going on, and people are dealing with all the same issues as everyone else. The old “walk a mile in my shoes” comes to mind! Thank YOU again Julie!🙏🏻❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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questionableratatouille00 · 2 months

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𝓜𝓸𝓿𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓞𝓷 12

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader

Summary: Wanda and Y/n have decided to move in together, in Wanda’s house. Though Y/n is sad to say goodbye to her apartment, especially considering who used to live there with her, her friends help her say goodbye. Life goes on, even though bad things happen. And it’s true, bad things do happen. The most important thing is how you deal with them.

Warnings (Entire Series): This series deals with mature topics, including, but not limited to: death, mental health issues, physical, emotional, and sexual abuse, grief, trauma, general unwellness, illness (both mental and physical), and a most likely inaccurate portrayal of group therapy (though it’s much better than whatever was going on in TFATWS.) Please mind the warnings below.

Warnings: fluff and the end. If you spot all the references to previous chapters I’ll kiss you on the mouth.

🌻Series Masterlist 🌻

𝐈 𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐌𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐎𝐧

You walked down the aisle, your dress making you feel confident in every decision you’ve made thus far.

You felt beautiful as you glanced at the woman you love.

Looking at her made everything worth it. You continued to walk down the aisle as the music played.

The beautiful decorations still managing to catch your eye even though you’d obviously been there when they were picked out. Everything was perfect about this day, down to every second.

You were so excited to go home tonight with your favorite redheaded woman, who was wearing her own fancy dress. She looked beautiful and she smiled at you as you walked.

You hadn’t been to a wedding in a long time, especially one you were participating in.

You considered your role to be pretty damn important, considering where you were and what you were doing.

Even though your shoes were somewhat uncomfortable and didn’t fit exactly right, none of it mattered because you were happy.

As you reached the end of the aisle, you stood next to Bucky as he married the love of his life.

At the reception, you met up with Wanda again. She was wearing a beautiful dress, with a sunflower pendant necklace to match her sunflower earrings.

“They look so happy,” she smiles. “I’m glad.”

“Me too,” you smile warmly. “I’m glad we’re happy. All of us.”

She grinned, looking up at you. “We really are.”

“You look a lot better.” Sharon said as she took a sip of her vanilla latte.

“I feel a lot better.” You took a sip of your own drink. “Thanks. For everything. I don’t think I would’ve made it out if not for your texts every once in a while.”

She rested her hand on top of yours. “I’m glad I sent them. And I’m proud of you for signing up for therapy in the first place.”

“Thanks, Sharon. That means a lot to me. It does.” You smiled.

“I’m sorry. For ghosting you all. It was dumb of me, and I shouldn’t have just ran like that, and I’m sorry I hurt you, and—“ You were cut off by Melina wrapping you in a tight hug.

“We do not care, sweetheart.” She murmured affectionately in your ear. She then pulled away.

“We are just glad to have you back.” Alexei said, clapping his hand on your shoulder in an almost-painful way. You knew it was his way of being deeply emotional.

“I’m only kind of sorry for breaking in.” Yelena said after a moment. “But I am glad to see you again.” She hugged you.

“Yeah. It’s good to see you too.” You felt a sense of pure love fill you.

You’d developed a new routine with Wanda.

You get up. You get ready. You eat breakfast with Wanda. You go to work. You drive home. You make dinner with Wanda and eat together. You end the night by turning on the TV to watch your favorite shows together.

You didn’t need to divide your life into two parts anymore. The world felt whole, you felt whole. Things were okay.

Life was going good.

“Considering this is our last meeting,” Coulson began. “I’d like to talk about something special.”

“Oh, don’t do that, you’ll make me cry.” Clint laughed.

The whole group chuckled.

“Alright, alright.” Coulson grinned slightly. “In one of our earliest meetings, we played the secrets game. If you don’t remember, that’s when I had you all write down a vulnerable thought or secret down on a piece of paper and we read them aloud. I think now’s a good time to claim our papers.” He set out each piece of paper down on the small table in the center of the circle of chairs.

You found yours immediately and picked it up as the rest of the group picked up theirs.

“How about we go in a circle and read them aloud? To see how much we’ve changed as people.” Coulson guided.

When it was your turn, you read your statement out loud. “I wonder if they regret being with me,” you read from the paper. When Coulson asked how you thought you’d changed since writing the words, you smiled gently.

“I’m more sure of myself. And..I have faith in my relationships and connections now.” You explained. Everyone smiled at that.

Then it was Wanda’s turn.

“Everyone I care about gets hurt.” She reads.

You freeze. “That one—I read that one. That was yours?”

She nods, a sheepish grin on her face. “I know I’ve changed a lot since then. I’m not afraid of losing people I love. Well, I mean, of course I am, but I’m never terrified the world will just suddenly end. Not anymore.” She holds your hand as she says it.

You walk out of therapy with your hand tightly held in hers.

Maybe there had been a point to all of it. Just maybe.

“Anyone up to grab lunch?” Tony called out as he was hopping into his car, Bruce getting into the passenger side.

You chuckled and flashed him a thumbs up.

As you and Wanda hopped into the truck, you turned on the radio. As you pulled out of the therapy center, the soft song filled the car.

Then you're left in the dust Unless I stuck by ya You're the sunflower I think your love would be too much Or you'll be left in the dust Unless I stuck by ya You're the sunflower You're my sunflower.

A/n: hoping I got somebody in the beginning. I have been thinking about that part since ch. 4 lmao.

Anyways I’m gonna start rambling about this series because it means a lot to me. I started this series in the summer (I think??), and I was in a completely different mental state. I love this series and I hope the people who read it do too. I’m glad I got to finish it.

In conclusion, it’s okay to move on. It will take a long time, it won’t be easy, and it’ll be hard. Maybe the things you deal with don’t ever go away, but they can improve.

Love you all. 💕🌻

#moving on #wanda maximoff fic #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maxmoff x y/n #wanda maximoff #wanda x reader #wanda fanfic #wanda x y/n #wanda x you #wanda maximoff fanfiction #wanda maximoff x you

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not-a-big-slay · 1 year

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The boys' love languages

The Bad Batch x gn!reader

i am mentally unwell, i need this

warnings: mentions of crosshair on kamino in his part, mentions of having insecurities in echo's and wrecker's part

a/n: this fic is gender neutral, but because i fantisized myself there, its possible i did a mistake somewhere, so please, if you see some, point it out <3

‎

Hunter

main love language: acts of service

other: physical touch

Hunter's love language is definitely acts of service

he is such a fuckin gentleman

he offers you a hand whenever you go out of the ship or inside

or if you fall, his hand would be the first thing you'd see

also, he is soo protective of you

whenever there's danger he will put his hand on your lowerback to reassure you that he is there

and if you have some undercover thing, he will stay as close to you as possible if the place is unsafe

god forbid you get hurt bc that's when he's truly worried

he tries to stay calm when it's a little wound or a scratch, but when you go unconsious or lose blood BOI DOES HE FREAK OUT

he will stay by your side 24/7 or how long it's needed, bringing you meals and doing everything you desire

and when you're sick he will be making some good ass soup that they gave them on Kamino whenever they had a cold (assuming they did)

and he lets you sleep BY THE WALL, bravely facing the demons and protecting you from them

he also loves when you try to protect him, even though you're smaller and definitely not as skilled, but it still means a lot to him

it warms his heart when you hear some loud noise and put your hand in front of him

he does the same thing by instinct so you both just smile when your hands bump on their way to protect

his second love language might be physical touch

he is the big spoon but won't complain when you wrap your hands around him sometimes

my bro asks for consent once on a specific thing and then not again, if you don't feel like it at the moment, a simple not now or no is all that's needed

then he will ask again after a while

you also have to ask for consent (i mean obviously), Hunter loves touch, but sometimes enough is enough and something's may be too far for his sensitive sense

but it goes both ways: you ask once for specific thing

forehead kisses and hugs from behind is his morning routine and at this point, it's more frequent than breakfast

if you don't get one or the other in the morning, it feels uncomftortable, and you know something is wrong

he doesn't do PDA

not that he hates it, his mind is just in a different place in public, as yall go outside mostly because of a mission

but once on the Maraurder, Hunter takes a nap with you and cuddle if you're down

and you are, everytime

Tech

main love language: gift giving/receiving

other: quality time

tech's love is told by many useless small gifts, but you cherish them for ever

he gives you wire bracelts, metal ring, everything he finds useless remade into something either wearable or hangable

how better to express his love when he fixes a lot of things and sees these things daily

you always wear them, even though you have a lot of rings from him now, you always change them so he feels loved and validated

that doesn't mean he only likes giving gifts to you, he also loves when you give him something yourself

you don't make gifts like he does, lacking the skill he obviously has, but you find lots of different stuff on missions and you so far brought him an old antic vase, cute shiny stones and a small crystal

he is also taking care of a plant you gave him, anxious it might be poisonous, but he reassured you it's not (although you knew he might be lying to not hurt your feelings, so you keep an eye out when Omega gets too close to it)

you used to bring him bracelets and rings, but Tech noticed they are quite expensive and realized you stole most of them, so he forbid it

yet you sometimes do and proceed to lie about where you got it (he knows you are lying, but he loves your stubborness so much he lets it slide)

Tech doesn't give you presents that often, but only because he worry it would tire you, so he keeps it special that way

and when he'll be sure about marriage, he will propose with one of his homemade rings

his other love language might be quality time

Tech loves to talk a lot about his work and random knowledge he posseses, so he needs someone to listen

luckily, you will always be there (luckily for him and for the others when they realized they don't need to pretend interest anymore)

you listen to him talk about his day and he sometimes teaches you basic coding or repairs

and you're not like his brothers, you actually listen and ask interesting questions he more than gladly answers

he likes to hear you talk about your interests as well, listening to every word coming out of your mouth

because he learns about things he's interested in, he loves to spend his free time with you, getting to know you

and yes, he knows every small detail you said

if you only mentioned you hate fish, he will take it as his job to fix that information with you and use it if necessary ("Tonight's dinner is fish". Hunter would say and you would automatically prepared to respond with:"oh i-", but Tech would be faster than you and say as an obvious fact:" Y/N hates fish. they will need something else.")

Echo

main love language: words of affirmation

other: light physical touch

Echo, my baby, needs to be reassured of your love

he has gone through a LOT and he's been alone all this time

so he will need some cute loving words to know he has you on his side

i'm not happy saing this, but he surely is insecure

all the horrible changes that made him almost part robot can't be helping him with self-image and self-esteem (he is beautiful though, isn't he)

so when you say things like: i love every part of you, youre so beautiful, i adore you whole, it leaves him with butterflies everywhere

he is addicted to your voice, it calms him

he likes to be reassured or your love when he's nervous or anxious, a light it's ok or you got this improves his mood instantly

he doesn't need to hear them every minute but it's nice to get your affirmation once a day

but you obviously tell him more than once a day, you tell him almost every hour, thinking it might be too much (spoiler: it isn't)

he also creates petnames for you

some are basic: love, cyare, mesh'la, darling, ...

but some are specifically for you, you have never heard them from someone else: shining, bubble, ka'ra (star, stars)

of course he says i love you back

he even adds a spice to it, because words are his way of loving, and he loves you a LOT

he sometimes says i adore you or your favorite i draw you in my dreams (only in private though, god forbid for his brothers to hear.)

my man's a poet when it comes to you, which surprised you, because he didn't look very outspoken when you met him

he is still quiet though, he saves his words for you

when words can't describe his love, touch comes into place

now, Echo isn't a big fan of physical stuff, Techno Union made sure of that, but a light squeez on his hand or a kiss on his temple is something he can get used to

the most used thing he does is putting his forehead against yours after an intense job or just an exhausting day

he loves good night and good morning kisses, as well as an afternoon hug from behind

he won't cuddle you at night, he is the most vurnerable in his sleep and when you hug him tightly, it feels like he can't breathe or feels trapped

it's nothing against you, he just likes his space at night

but if you have a nightmare, he will surely spoon you for comfort, just not too tightly

Crosshair

main love language: quality time

other: acts of service

this man is a sucker for some one-on-one

Cross doesn't trust easily, so he needs to get to know you more

and once he takes a liking in you, he wants to know everything there is to tell about you, through and through

every alone time spent together he opens up more and more, you are giving him the time he needs, which he appreciates, but also holding a cards close to your chest, not telling him everything at once, which drives him crazy

but he loves it deep down, it makes him more drawn to you

of course not every hang out is spend by talking, sometimes it's just about each other's presence

you casually help him clean his rifle, he helps you with whatever you need

some days he doesn't feel like talking, but he will be right beside you, watching you work, or just listen to you talk about anything

he likes listening to your rambles, he learns more about you like that, your interests and hobbies as well as bad habits and coping mechanisms

occasionally, he talks about the history of the batch before you joined or some of his favorite missions, you noticed he especially took liking in telling stories where Wrecker gets slightly hurt, smirking a bit when he tells you how he hit his head escaping Separatist's tanks as a distraction, but ended up unconcious

you love to listen to him, mostly being quiet when he talks. you thought that doing some 'ooh, aah's would only make him irritated or if you disturbed him, (which you sometimes wanted, because many missions they had reminded you of some new ones) you feared he would stop talking to you, but that would never happen

sometimes you can't hold yourself and do interrupt him, telling him excitingly what that mission reminded you of. Crosshair isn't mad, he is actually glad you do this sometimes, he takes it as a sign of your listening and interest, even though you apologize after cutting him off

when you left him on Kamino, it broke your heart, but what really shattered it were the silent nights you suddenly had

you were lonely without him and couldn't talk to anyone in the batch the way that you two did, so you found yourself talking to nothing, imagining Crosshair next to you

you didn't know that far away, on Kamino, he did the same

‎

if spending time together doesn't help, Crosshair shows his love through his doings

actions are stronger than words for him, so he makes sure you are loved enough

the most frequent act is pulling you away from possible danger, both by your waist or hand

everytime he senses someone or something uncomfortable, he guards you or pulls you closer to him from it

to do that, he often watches Hunter's reactions in different situations

it is a habit of his you got used to so much that you move to him when you feel unsafe

my boy also makes you coffee or any favorite drink you have after every mission

he remembers how you like it, exactly how you like it

you are convinced that you couldn't now make your favorite drink that perfectly as him, though you taught him in the first place

we need to talk about how much of a gentleman he is though

he pulls chairs out for you, offers a hand if there is an inconvenience in your way, also offering a toothpick when he takes one out for himself (which he now kind of regrets, because he got you addicted to them and that means he has to buy them more frequently), asking you if you are alright after fights, shootings, etc.

still, he likes to be spoiled like that as well, which you do

your basic show of love is buying him new toothpicks (as mentioned before, it is halfly your fault they dissapear so quickly) and you secretly hid them in his pocket where they usually are, not taking credit for purchasing them (that doesn't mean Crosshair is oblivious to that fact, he simply just enjoys your sneaking around to put them there)

what you do automatically now is adjusting the room tempature so he could sleep deeply, as he doesn't often

Crosshair and the others are used to sleeping in a cold environment, due to their life on rainy Kamino, and while others somehow adapted to tempature changes, Crosshair couldn't fall asleep in a warm room

so every night, before you go to sleep, you adjust the tempature to 10°C (50°F), and when you go to sleep after the sharpshooter, sometimes you watch how his position changes immidiately due to his, when you're not too tired

‎

‎Wrecker

main love language: physical touch

other: words of affirmation

time for this strong man, fun fact: he really loves kisses

small ones mainly, he likes to give you a peck on the cheek everytime you pass him

he is smithered by love and he needs to give it away like this

hugs are also his thing, he gives the best hugs out of every embrace you've ever been in

he usually picks you up and tightly squeezes you, but he is being careful not to squish you

you always put your cheek on his during a hug, that totally doesn't melt his heart or anything, or you whisper in his ear: i love you too cyare (oh yeah, calling him cyare also doesn't affect his entire being whatsoever)

when there is something important going on, he has his hand on your shoulder or holds your hand shamelessly, pissing off Hunter ("Does this feel 'low profile' to you two?" he curses at the sight of you holding hands and Wrecker will always respond back: "Have you ever heard of couples? Dating is not a thing we invented, ask Tech". As Tech is dragged into it, he will either ignore or confirms Wrecker's statement by sighing: "No, that's definitely not a term you invented, Wrecker. Congratulations on winning the argument.")

the strong boy is definitely the big spoon, he lives to scoop you close to him and holding you in the most vulnerable moments (no, it's not a mistake, he lives to do that)

but you did convince him to try the little spoon and he has to admit that it's almost a tie for him

he just adores your little arms trying to get around his shoulders, but he enjoys being wrapped in his lovers hands

yet he still prefers being the big spoon as he is prepared to protect you

if you are not big on physical touch, it doesn't upset him, he gives you time

also, he always ask for consent, even on little kisses

sometimes, he doesn't ask directly, but he slowly moves to you, waiting for your reaction

if you shake your head or take a step back, he stops and just smiles at you or says something sweet

if you smile, nod or move in his direction, he takes it as a yes and will trap you in his hugs and kisses

when he is overly excited or happy from a finished job/mission, he will take you up on his shoulders, carrying you to the Maraurder or to Cid's (although he puts you down before the steps, you both wouldn't fit into the narrow stairwell)

you were surprised when he did it for the first time, but subconsiously expect it now, when he loudly yells something positive

if you really mind physical touch and know you won't warm up to it, he expresses his love by words

he is simple, saying i love you or be careful before missions or when you go out are the basics

he asks you about your day, adding a very cute nickname he has and made for your name (that only he can use. his words not yours) and you ask about his in return (you tried to do the same for him, but the nickname you came up with didn't catch on. maybe Wreckie sounded too childish, but it was good for joking around)

he thinks of you everyday and voices it every evening, saying what reminded him of you today (of course not in private, he needs his brothers to hear)

you always say some sweet phrases to Wrecker whenever you walk by him: you look pretty, hey love, there he is- the man of my desires, etc.

you also reassure him when he's upset. or overwhelmed, which happens often on intense missions. you make sure you are there for him for comfort

he definitely says good morning and good night to you and he makes sure it would be the first and last thing in your day, so he says it extremely early and extremely late, but you don't mind

Wrecker doesn't get insecure about your relationship much, you return his love equaly so he has no reason to, but there are rare moments where he overthinks

he usually puts distance between you and isolates himself when these thoughts occur, that's when you know he is doing it again

for him to snap out of it, you make food for the two of you and sit next to him without a word, you put a blanket over you and just sit and cuddle with him in silence

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excalibutt · 2 months

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i don't know how to begin to explain the complexity of what I feel right now... other than admitting honestly that I've had suicidal thoughts from the moment I turned eighteen. They sometimes dull or get quieter, but they've never fully gone away. They always get louder when I am at my lowest, maybe something about defences and coping mechanism being weak. But I'm definitely not feeling clearheaded or in a measured or confident place when I'm there.

Aaron Bushnell's protest was not mental illness.

Aaron Bushnell was calm. He was two years younger than me, and he was clear and direct and deliberate about what he did. He didn't do this as an escape because he felt like his life was meaningless. He KNEW it had meaning. He gave up everything, and chose the most painful way to do it so that we couldn't look away, and so that our horrifying news cycle would have no choice but to read the words FREE PALESTINE.

He gave up a life that was going to be FILLED with meaning. He had so much ahead of him, but he didn't hesitate. He didn't stay his hand. He didn't do this because he was unwell. He did this because he knew what he was giving up, and to him—it was worth the cost.

I have never, ever fully understood a soldier's urge to lay his life down for a country because as a US Citizen, I've always doubted the worthiness of a country that will take people, use them to further the world's misery as an oppressive tool, and spit them back out when they break.

Aaron died for Palestine instead. He died for the thousands who have been lost, and the thousands more who will have to live with the crippling physical and mental trauma that comes with surviving, many of whom are children who are still new to life in the first place... meaning that this horror is all they've ever even known.

The United States is not and has never been worthy of that kind of sacrifice.

We cannot remain complicit in genocide.

#aaron bushnell #suicide mention #free palestine

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esoteric-chaos · 2 months

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Energy Healing 101

Welcome to my separate expanded post on Energy Healing. I decided to separate it from my post on Reiki (that I am actively rewriting) for those who are hesitant to get into Reiki (aka lack the funds because it can be quite expensive or not just cannot find a non-appropriative teacher) or would rather learn a different method. This post is for you.

I want to be transparent, as this post is mostly UPG (Unverified Personal Gnosis) and SPG (Shared Personal Gnosis). I don't actually know where I learned to energy heal, as I intuitively knew before I practiced Reiki.

What is Energy Healing?

If you can manipulate energy, you can heal with energy. Energy healing is a form of energy manipulation to heal things similarly to Reiki. Arguably, just as well. Reiki is just a specific practice and guided style of doing so. Energy healing has been seen throughout history in many different cultures and traditions.

How Can I Energy Heal?

First, you have to be adept at Energy Manipulation. It is like building muscle. It can sometimes take a lot of hard work and training to get to the point where you can heal with energy. It takes focus, visualization, physical energy, mental energy, and practice. You might not get it on the first try, but that's okay. Some may also get it on their first try. Try not to beat yourself up about it. We're all different.

I deeply suggest learning how to borrow energy from sources first before you engage in energy manipulation of this type. It can drain you severely both mentally and physically if you are not careful. Especially if you are a healer who takes on or feels others' pain during sessions. I recommend this for Reiki practitioners as well.

When you go to do this healing process, it's not a true healing as it will not remove ailments, but it eases its side effects and pain.

None of this is a replacement method for healthcare practices and psychological practices. If you are feeling unwell, it may be an underlying condition that could prove to be serious. Please take a look with your physician for treatment when needed.

Sometimes, depending on the practitioner, this process may sting or feel like you are buzzing with energy. From many practitioners I've talked to, the experience is different. Warn the person before you start. It could sting, feel cold/warm or like you are a small battery. Warn them to expect the unexpected. That it will feel better in the end.

Energy Healing Yourself

First, I like to ground and centre. It helps me get into the right headspace. To ground, I use the tree method of visualizing roots coming down from my core (mine is my heart space) and deep into the earth's soil. I then soak up the earth's energy through those roots to borrow (I always return it after the session and give some of mine as a thank you.) I drag the energy up through the roots, towards my core and let it centre my being. After I feel ground and centred, I visualize that energy seeping down my arms and into my hands.

Next, I assess the pained area of myself. Are my calves really tight? Neck? Shoulders? I'll hover or touch the pained area to see how they feel.

Start an assessment and hover your hands over different parts of your body. See what connects and feels icky. Some pained areas can lead to others within your body.

With your energy, latch onto that negative energy. With my method to make it not uncomfortable, I visualize light coming from my hands and cleansing the area. Like you would energetically cleanse a space. Visualize that light penetrating that negative area and slowly filling, replacing the space and "burning" (sounds scary, but it's not) away that negativity. Those I practice on tell me this feels cold, warm or tingles.

Continue this process until the areas feel clear of the negativity and are replaced with this shield-like glow on the area for temporary pain relief. Think of a temporary bubble ward.

After a final sweep, you are done if you cannot find anything. Get yourself and them a snack with some water. Remember to rest after. That is vital. You may feel drained, or you could even feel energized. Everyone is different.

Energy Healing Others

Ground and Centre, like above. Gets you in the correct headspace.

Access the person I'm healing. Hover your hands over the area of the body where the pain resides. Let your energy touch their body, not your hands. However if that is harder for you, you can touch them with their consent and comfort.

Start an assessment and follow the limbs, torso, neck, and such. In your mind, set your sights on or intend to find areas of pain that will register within you as either dark energy, colour you view as negative, or even temperature. It helps to see where the pain is if you have a visualized goal. When you find a dark, sticky, magnetizing, cold/hot area, anything that feels "wrong," pause there. See if it stretches from that location to other parts of the body. Our bodies are like spider webs. Everything connects. Sometimes, a painful spot will lead to another.

Continue with point 4 above in healing yourself. I see others using these methods, too, by grabbing the energy and dragging it out of the body. I do not use this method personally, as it feels less natural.

Continue this process until the areas feel clear of the negativity and are replaced with this shield-like glow on the area for temporary pain relief. Think of a temporary bubble ward.

If you cannot find anything after a final sweep, you are done. Get yourself and them a snack with some water. Remember to rest after. That is vital. You and they may feel drained. They could even feel energized. Everyone is different.

Channelling Different Energies for Healing

Here's where we get a bit interesting. If you do not connect directly with the earth's energy or it does not vibe with your energy style, try different energy sources. After you do a basic grounding exercise, you can use celestial energy to be present by visualizing a beam of light coming down from the heavens, through the top of your head, and into your centre.

You can also use different elements, depending on your healing method and what you are trying to heal. I find water soothing and healing for emotional deregulation or aches and pains. Try washing your hands with blessed water or spring water before you partake in healing and channel that energy into your hands. Visualize that energy forming around your hands, like a waterbender from Avatar, the Last Airbender, to perform healing.

You can also wear crystals with the corresponding element. You can draw on that energy when needed.

Tips and Tricks

Who says you can't use a wand if you struggle with channelling energy into your hands? Especially if you're a practicing witch. I find selenite wands beautiful for healing and apple wood-based wands.

If you struggle with visualization, simply directing your thoughts and narrating what is happening like a story while using your other senses, like feeling, can significantly improve your energy practice. Any practice, that is.

Resources

Books by Barbara Ann Brennan are great resources, and I built off my practice with them regarding energy healing. They are less problematic than most books with chakras in them, but remember they have some elements in there regarding more western washed versions of such. I started with Hands of Light by Barbara Ann Brennan. However, these books are not cheap, so trying to find them second-hand may be your best bet.

Another excellent book is Eastern Body Western Mind by Anodea Judith. It covers the Eastern-based practice of energy and puts it into a Western-based framework for understanding without watering down any significance. It also covers the energy channels, how they move with the body, and much more. If you enjoy seeing spirituality from a psychological perspective, this book is for you.

Blessings!

Would you like to see more of my posts? Check out the Masterpost.

#witchcraft #witch #electic witch #witchblr #energy manipulation #energy healing #energy work #energy centers

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lokisprettygirl · 10 months

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Under his influence (Post Avengers! Loki x female reader)

Read chapter 28 here/ Series Masterlist

Chapter 29

Summary : Loki knows how to get rid of Atrishia, you receive a call from Captain.

Warning: 18+, no Smut in this chapter, HUGE Canon divergence(Just me making shit up),sex, mention of stalking, mention of psychological torture, mention of physical and sexual assault, angst, insecurities, ptsd, self deprecating behaviour, panic attack, soft precious bean loki, polite bean Loki

When Loki returned to you he found you pacing in the room, you looked unwell to him as if you were suffering from a mortal illness of some sort.

"What is it, what is happening to me Loki..can you make me get in touch with Atrishia please? I need to see her or I'll go crazy" he sighed you blabbed without pausing for a breath.

"Sit down on the bed y/n" you stomped your feet on the ground like a petulant child and crossed your arms as you glared at him,

"You don't want me to see her do you? You are just jealous of how gorgeous she is" you let out a laughter to mock him so he sighed, your antics were kind of adorable though.

"I should film this..norns I don't have a phone" you continued to glare at him so he walked towards you and placed his hand on your shoulder to push you towards the edge of the bed, once he made you sit down on the bed, he placed his finger on your chin and made you look at him.

"Are you going to be a good girl and listen to me now?" He asked you sternly so you gave him a glare again.

"No..why should I ? I hate you so much Loki, I won't listen to the man that I hate" he sighed as you said that. That was the thing with this particular love potion, not only did it made one obsess over the person who had used the potion but also made them feel complete contempt and hatred for the person they were in love with previously. Her plan must have been to cause the reaction in him so he'd leave you and go to her, thankfully it didn't work on him.

"You don't hate me sweetheart, I love you, you are my best friend, I am yours, remember?" He cooed gently and your eyes teared up, you were trying to fight the potion mentally and you were doing so good because even the strongest of the gods could not survive the effects of it. Thor was the perfect example.

"Then why do I hate you now Loki, why do I hate my best friend?" You sobbed a little so he cupped your cheeks and leaned down to kiss your forehead, your arms wrapped around his neck and as soon as his scent reached your senses you took a deep breath and all of a sudden you didn't feel so bad again, the closer he was to you the better you felt.

"What is happening to me lo, why am I hurting you like this?" He looked at you shocked as he noticed the tenderness in your voice, when he looked in your eyes he saw the same love and adoration he was used to seeing in you.

"You really do love me princess, you love me selflessly and wholeheartedly, this is sort of a miracle, no men or gods have ever been able to snap out of the effects of the potion without the antidote, but you can do it, how are you doing it?" He asked softly as he wiped your tears.

"It's just when you are close to me I don't feel so bad about you" he kissed you on the lips for a fleeting moment before he pulled away from you. The look was gone and replaced with extreme hatred towards him all over again, he waved his fingers and there was a vial in his hand filled with a greenish liquid.

"You are going to poison me aren't you? You just love killing people don't you" his eyes teared up as you said that, he knew you didn't mean any of it but it still hurt to hear you speak to him that way.

He grabbed your chin and made you drink half of the liquid and a few moments later the fog cleared and you looked around as everything got back to normal.

"Loki?" You looked at him so he smiled and his fingers brushed against your cheeks in a caressing manner "What the hell happened?"

"Love potion, the mead she brought with her was laced with the potion, she attempted to make me fall in love with her but sadly Thor and as well as you consumed the mead"

"Thor is in love with her as well?"

"For now yes, I need to go make him drink this before he does something really childish"

"Okay" he noticed the sullen look on your face and his heart clenched, he knew you'd feel horrible and slightly embarrassed about it now.

"I will be back soon, are you feeling alright?" You nodded as he questioned you. Once he left you stormed straight towards the bathroom and leaned over the toilet as you felt nauseous, once you were done hurling you brushed your teeth, took a shower and came back to the bed to lie down.

Love potions existed in other realms? How and why? How many people like Atrishia were misusing it? Your eyes welled up again as you thought about the things you had said to him while you were strung on the potion, how could you just hate him like that, how could you feel anything but love for that precious man?

You sobbed into your pillow until you fell asleep, the next time you woke you had his arm wrapped around you while he cuddled you, his eyes opened as he felt you moving, sitting up you moved away from him so he sat as well.

"Is Thor okay?"

"He is now, gave him the antidote. For a god he sure is lightweight darling" you smiled as he said that but he noticed the sadness on your face, you weren't even looking at him.

"Talk to me princess.. I'm right here" he whispered softly as one of his hands curled around your neck and he pressed a soft kiss on your cheek.

"How could I…just hate you like that lo?" You sobbed like a child and his eyes welled up at the sight but there was a small comforting smile on his face.

"You didn't, you did your best my sweetheart, you listened to me even when you felt such contempt for me, you came back to me even without use of the antidote. You, a powerless mortal, fought it better than the God of thunder could, you should have seen him, he was losing it completely" you chuckled as he said that but you still felt awful about it.

"I didn't mean anything i said lo..i didn't want to hurt you..you know that right baby" a small sob escaped your lips again.

"I know I know that okay? Come here" he pulled you on his lap and held you tightly in his embrace to calm your broken sobs, he despised seeing you this way. His hands caressed your back gently and he rocked you back and forth until the sobbing had faded.

"Why didn't it work on you lo? You drank the mead and how did you know what it was?" you asked him as you pulled away to look at him, you kissed his forehead and then his pretty nose before you pecked his lips, you just wanted to love him now after being so awful to him, you were immensely grateful the potion didn't work on him but you still wanted to know why.

"Well when I was learning about the different forms of potions and its effects from mother, it came up once and i remembered it, someone once had tried to use it on mother and she always warned me to look for the signs, she's the one who taught me to make the antidote"

"That is some witch shit" he chuckled as you said that

"It is a bit more complex than that, the realm of Vanaheim is known for dark magic and as soon as I saw the effect the mead had on you and Thor i just knew something wasn't right" he said.

"Why didn't it work on you?"

"I don't know but I guess my mind is too strong to be fazed so easily, why do you think it took Thanos a year to break me?" You placed your hand on his cheeks as you kissed him softly, a year of pain and torture, since the conversation he had with Atrishia and him telling you that he didn't remember the last two months made you wonder what kind of monstrosity they had inflicted upon him during that period, he didn't deserve any of it.

"Well I'm glad it didn't work on you lo, I can't imagine you feeling that way about me"

"Never have to worry about it darling" he smiled and it made you smile as well but your face fell again as you thought about the situation.

"I don't want her to stay here anymore Loki, I don't know what else she is going to do to you and I don't want her to hurt you in anyway "

"She can't hurt me darling but she did harm you and I won't let it go, nobody gets to hurt my princess like that" you let out a moan as he whispered in your ear then he pressed his lips on the side of your neck, sucking ever so gently. As much as you loved the sight of him being so riled up for you, you didn't want him to hurt her, you sort of understood what she was going through.

"Loki?"

"Mmm"

"I just want her to leave, nothing else, I do feel bad about her situation and I sort of feel responsible"

"You're not responsible for this darling"

"I know..I just feel awful..i have been in that situation and it's heartbreaking" his brows furrowed as you said that.

"Tell me about it so i would understand because right now I only feel this extreme anger towards her"

"You'd have to become my best friend and forget that you're my boyfriend for me to tell you this okay?" He raised his brow and sighed before he reluctantly agreed.

"Should you be sitting on my lap for that? Friends on midgard indulge in such a manner?"

"I'll pretend you're a girl, you're the prettiest thing to exist so that is not very far fetched " he rolled his eyes playfully as you said that,

"Fine..tell me the story"

"Well I'm not saying it's the same thing but when I was in the first year of college..there was a teacher of mine .."

"A teacher?"

"Mmhhm ..well it's not that I was completely obsessed with him..at first i didn't even notice him like I never noticed any other men out there" he chuckled as you said that

"What changed your mind about him?"

"Well I had a sexy dream about him, you know how dreams are sometimes right?" He nodded as you said that even though the thought of you having a sex dream about another man bothered him deeply, he kept it to himself, he was just your friend in the moment.

"I get that"

" After that dream I developed a tiny school girl crush on him, he was really soft spoken but he looked the opposite, very manly and rugged, he was a war veteran so he had that oomph factor going on for him where if you looked at him when he wasn't teaching or doing something else he'd just seem very tortured and brooding, staring into the distance"

"Did you always have a thing for the tortured ones?"

"Mmmhm maybe..okay stop interrupting me" you playfully slapped on his cheek and he gasped but didn't say anything "Good boy, okay so he obviously looked very sexy.."

"I don't like this story–" you pressed your finger on his lips as he spoke,

"Shhhh .. everytiime he looked my way i felt squeamish and nervous but also good in a way and i built this whole fantasy about him in my head"

"Still don't like it"

"Then I found out that he was married "

"That makes me feel better " you smiled as he said that.

"Everytime his wife would come around I just felt worse than before you know, I mean I had no right to feel that way but I still did.. it wasn't the fact that the man I fancied wasn't available, it bothered me of course but what irked me more was that some other woman was getting to live the fantasy I wanted to live"

"What is it that you're trying to say here?"

"I'm trying to say that you were engaged to this woman, she may have thought of you as her future husband, and I'm pretty sure she fantasized about you two ..you know..doing it..i mean look at you, you ooze sex from every pore of your skin" he shook his head slightly before he spoke

"Agreed but please do not put such images about her in my head"

"All I'm saying is, she may not have been in love with you but your death must have been heartbreaking for her and then seeing that you were alive and well must have brought that hope back and she came all this way only for you to tell her that you were in love with another woman must have been soul crushing for her, the life that she fantasized about was taken out of her hands by some woman she didn't even know existed"

He looked at you dumbfounded as you said that, he never thought about it so deeply, he didn't think Atrishia ever felt that way about him, the engagement was a political arrangement between the families but maybe you were right about all of this and he didn't want to be harsh to her, breaking her heart was the harshest thing he had ever done and that was saying something because he had done a lot of awful things in this long life.

"Can I be your lover again?" He asked you so you nodded and he immediately kissed you deeply and passionately, he did feel bad about her situation but it was the right thing to do, he knew he wouldn't have been happy with her, the only reason he agreed for the marriage was to gain the approval of his father, he was fortunate that fate drove him to you and he wasn't going to hurt you or allow her to do the same to you ever again, sure she meant no harm to you this time, the mead was solely for him to consume, but he knew very well that she won't hesitate to do so if she finds out that you were the one who had taken his heart.

She wasn't as kind as you were.

"You have the kindest soul of all, you know that?" He mumbled in your mouth and it made you smile.

"You deserve the best lo, i just want to be the best for you"

Loki knew he had to confront Atrishia so he went to her room and gave it two knocks, her chambermaid opened the door and bowed down at him which immediately made him feel off because she was just a mortal like you and Atrishia must have taught them to do it like this. As he went inside he found her sitting on the Ottoman in the balcony, she had a night gown on and was reading her book, as soon as she felt his presence she turned towards him,

"Prince Loki, what brought you to me?" He walked around the Ottoman that was set in the middle of the balcony, grabbed her book and sat down facing her, she had a smirk on her face, she knew what she had done and she was assured it had worked on him.

"What is your play here Atrishia?" She looked at him a bit shocked and confused as he said that. She was scorned by the rejection, he understood that but she had no right to do this, the love he didn't feel for her couldn't have been forced, not even through external forces.

"What are you accusing me of?"

"You know well what I am referring to, do you not?" She let out a small yelp in frustration.

"How could it not work? It worked on your brother"

"And what was your plan here? You wished to make us both fall for you and then what?"

"I only wished for you to fall for me Loki, you have no understanding of my plight here and how much it pains me to know that you aren't mine anymore" she huffed as she said that

"I may not understand that but you need to accept that i was never yours to begin with and I sure do know that a woman like you shouldn't be stooping to such levels. You are a princess and a reputed one at that, princes from other realms would get on their knees for you once they find out you're not bethroted to anyone" he stood up as he was starting to get frustrated by her childish play here.

"But I want you Prince Loki" she grabbed his hand and looked right into his eyes. She looked like a spoiled princess that has never been refused for anything in her life which might have been true in her case.

"Why? Where did this love come from all of a sudden? I remember our engagement very well, this is the longest we have even conversed with each other" he raised his voice and her eyes welled up even more.

"It was me, I pleaded with father for the compromise" He looked at her shocked as she said that "I saw you Prince Loki, on the battlefield, in Vanaheim, my sister couldn't take her eyes off Thor but I? I had my eyes on you since that very moment, I went to father and pleaded with him to ask for your hand in marriage because the moment I saw you I knew I'd always be in love with you Prince Loki" his eyes widened a little at the response, her voice sounded sincere and he wondered what would have happened if she had revealed this before, he was starving for love and appreciation and probably would have jumped on the chance to be fed with it.

"Why didn't you tell me then?"

"Because I wanted you to fall for me as well and I had hoped it would happen after the wedding but everything changed so suddenly and all of it was taken away from me" she started sobbing and he didn't know what to do to console her, a part of him didn't want to believe that she was truly in love with him but her emotions seemed genuine.

"I am not an Asgardian you must have heard" he told her stoically so she looked up at him.

"I did, I heard of your heritage"

"I know lady Atrishia that you are under the assumption that you are truly in love with me but it's mere infatuation, we have not spent enough time with each other to fall so deeply in love, what you experienced that day was perhaps lust, those feelings you had when you saw me were nothing but carnal, if you were to see my natural appearance i promise you wouldn't want me so desperately any longer" his eyes teared up as he said that, before he met you he never listened to his heart this way, was never in tune with his inner self but somehow you had evoked such senses in him, he just knew Atrishia wasn't in love with him, she was in love with his appearance, the appearance that wasn't his to begin with and was given to him to hide his true horrifying features.

"Show me then, show me your jotun side and see for yourself that my love will not waiver for you" she said proudly so he took a deep breath.

"I need you to leave Atrishia, right now, I need you to go and never think of me again" he unhooked his arm from her grip and started to walk away but she got up and followed him.

"What does this woman have that I don't, what other qualities does she possess that I do not Prince Loki?" She raised her voice so he looked at the two other women in the room and hinted at them to leave. When they left he turned to look at her and slowly morphed into his giant form.

Her face went pale and eyes widened in shock as he turned a foot taller, his skin went from the smooth blemish free texture to rough steel blue in color, his nose had become sharper and the burning ruby eyes made her take a step back, she placed a hand on her mouth as his flowing long hair disappeared and his bald skull protruded.

The tunic he had on was ripped to shreds, the pants barely hanging on his giant body. His skin was covered in elongated scales from head to toe and as he took a step towards her she took five steps behind until she was pressed against the glass door of the balcony. The fear was evident in her eyes and it made him chuckle.

"Are you not going to say anything now?" Even when he spoke his voice had gotten deeper and rougher than his usual soft tone.

"Prince Loki?" She mumbled in her mouth as if she couldn't believe it was him, as if he was merely Playing a cruel joke on her.

"I am here..this must remind you of the monster your mother warned you of since you were a child?" She started to weep again as he said that.

"You don't have to be this way, you don't have to look like this if you don't want to Prince Loki" she said in a comforting tone but it felt as if a hot sharp knife was plunged into his heart.

"I wish I wasn't like this but I am, this is who I am and I can not change that"

A few hours has passed since Loki has left to go see Atrishia, in the evening as you stepped out in the living room you saw the commotion there, every Avenger was there as they wanted to see off Lady Atrishia, you couldn't believe she was leaving. Thor was there too and he seemed sick but he didn't appear to be lovesick anymore.

You quietly walked towards Loki, he had an Asgardian tunic on which was different from the one he had on before.

"What happened? Why is she leaving? What did you say to her?" You whispered to him so he looked at you and smiled, you could see how upset Dalia seemed by the development, she was probably already on her next plan to introduce Loki as an Avenger to the public.

"Showed her my true self, scared her off quite a bit, she tried to convince me that I didn't have to look that way if I didn't want to but I shut her down"

You looked at him shocked as he said that, there was a small smile on his face but you could tell he was sad about it. He had a hard time accepting his heritage, he didn't need other people to affirm those insecurities too. Loki told you that the reason she didn't visit him when he had learned of his heritage was because she was afraid he would turn into a frost giant, later she had heard from the locals that Prince Loki looked nothing like the Frost giants on Jotunheim, he still had his long hair and his appearance was pretty much the same, he just seemed blue, when she proudly declared that she'd love him no matter what she wasn't really expecting him to turn into an actual giant.

She was leaving because he showed her how his real self looked? At Least you were right about her not actually being in love with him. You looked at him again and you knew you'd have to show him how much you adored his big blue side sooner or later, you knew you had to do something to take his mind off it and make him accept that he was beautiful no matter what, he was pretty because he had a beautiful soul in there that would never change, no matter how many shapes he change into, his soul would stay the same and you were in love with who he was and not what he was.

Before you could say anything to him or comfort him, you saw a man approach you with a phone in his hand so you grabbed it,

"Y/n? It's Steve" you cleared your throat as you heard Captain's voice.

"Hello Captain.. What can I do for you?"

"You have done enough y/n" you squeezed your eyes as he said that he must not have found Bucky, you were going to be in a lot of trouble.

"Found him..found Bucky, bringing him back to the tower"

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

Note : Atrishia is gone atleast, sometimes people fall for the outer appearance and think they are actually in love. Smh . I mean i don't blame her for lusting after this

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#loki x female reader #loki #loki x reader fluff #loki x reader #loki x reader insert #loki x reader fic #loki x you #loki x reader angst #post avengers loki #canon divergent au #soft loki

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sch-com · 6 months

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I can't seem to be able to communicate clearly how bad I truly am. Not even to professionals. Like I go, and explain my problems in a calm and collected way, analysing what is wrong and how it happened and why. I am just painfully aware of my problems, I can rationalise them.

I don't break down, I don't cry, it's just not my style of showing distress, and I think it makes it so that nobody believes me. Like I could self harm, I could be actively suicidal, I could be putting a bag over my head trying to suffocate on a daily basis, and then I go and explain it with a flat affect and all I get is "well, you seem to have it under control".

Because you know, I still do my obligations. I used to go to school through the worst of it, I now work and study. But nobody seems to notice that the life I have now is built around my dysfunction and pain. I have this job because it's remote and I am able to keep it. I study this and part-time because I had to drop out of normal university because I was so unwell. I don't go out at all or talk to people, or have friends because of my mental fuckery, and the lack of energy.

But none of this matters because when I ask for help I am calm and collected. Because I am physically unable to show my pain outwardly.

#schcomtalk #tw suicide

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rei-caldombra · 7 months

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The time hath come! For a passionate post of one of my favorite series Demon Girl Next Door / Machikado Mazoku. (above image made by me)

Just wanna say right away that I adore this show and I am largely just bringing up positives. This is a gushing post that ended up being super long. And reminder that my writing isn’t meant to be all encompassing and describe the show in every detail. So if there’s something I mention about the show that intrigues you, you should check out the source material (and if I encouraged you to do that then I've succeeded!)! This will contain direct spoilers. I do not bring up every single aspect of the plot and characters, but I bring up many of them. Skip to the end if you just want to hear a short conclusion.

DGND is incredibly dense despite how simple it seems on the surface. This show is so much more than just goofy wholesome fun.

When it comes to stupid moe derpy characters, i think Shamiko is one of the best examples of this archetype. She has plenty of personality aside from that. Some stupid characters feel like they only exist to be stupid for gags. They genuinely don’t seem like they can function as a human being on their own, to the point of feeling like they could be offensive portrayals of mental retardation.

But Shamiko is well rounded. She is not JUST a character who is dumb. Her lack of smarts and common sense does actually have some explanation too. You learn that the curse on Shamiko’s family has a physical effect as well. Shamiko spent most of her childhood in intensive care at a hospital, her physical issues exacerbated by the curse. And Shamiko was not just taking on her portion of the curse, her soul had chosen to take on Ryo’s portion of the curse as well. Before she awakened to her demon heritage, she wasn’t even able to walk through her school without collapsing. She was not able to get a proper education very well before the start of the series. She had less opportunities than most to get normal experiences. She also had little capacity to be physically active, which gives more reason for her being pathetically weak than because the jokes of her being incapable demand it. This strength of writing just gets better as the series goes on because we see her develop into a character that is less incompetent and less physically weak. Rather than riding on these same failure jokes, we actually see Shamiko develop into a character who is capable. She manages to defeat a magical creature on her own, Sakura (the character who set up this whole town and is the most important non main character in the overall story) basically passes the torch of being the town’s caretaker on to her, she is the leader of the operation and successfully uses her abilities to remove Mikan’s curse and save Ugallu. She starts out the series as incompetent and capable of very little, being liked but looked down on by most of the cast. But she grows to be respected by everyone, to the point where Momo and Mikan eventually do consider themselves her “minions”. She truly grows from a dumb and unconfident little girl into a leader that very capable people like Momo and Mikan see as an equal. She grows mentally as well as physically. She gets access to more magical abilities, she gets less physically unwell, she gets more confident in herself.

Ryo is shown to be very smart, which makes sense in comparison to Shamiko because she was healthy enough to be in school. And she is not just naturally smart, she actually has the drive to be smarter as she wants to support her sister. Which you can say is her wanting to support Shamiko in return for how Shamiko took on her portion of the curse. Ryo stands out more than just the “smart child” archetype she fits into. DGND is filled with details that elevate even the minor characters into more than just archetypes.

Shamiko still has the motivation to win and get stronger, but she realizes intentionally hurting Momo or another magical girl isn’t the way she wants to go about it. And she doesn’t want Momo to hurt herself to get her the blood either. Especially when we learn from the accidental blood offering that the result of using blood to lift the curse permanently weakened Momo slightly. Which by reading into the subtext you realize means she lost mana, which according to the way they describe magical girls in this universe, is her entire existence. This is one specific example of how dark subject matter is present in the generally goofy and bubbly story.

I love Shamiko and Momo’s dynamic, it's the crux of this series and the appeal. Their “rivalry” quickly develops into basically being just a roleplay bit between the two. It changes from Shamiko wanting to physically beat Momo to effectively emotionally overtaking her. She wants to be respected by Momo and make Momo into her vassal. It still has the original intention of making Momo submit to her, but in a more intimate and consensual way. It doesn’t feel like the idea of defeating Momo in battle was forgotten, it feels like Shamiko’s goals and motivations naturally change.

You really buy into Shamiko and Momo’s friendship because we get so much time with them together. There are other characters who are important and get screen time, but Shaminomo is the focal point.

DGND is legitimately the only ship I care about in all of anime. Their personalities mesh so perfectly. Simplest way to describe them is tsundere x kuudere. I really want to put emphasis on me, someone who has never cared for shipping, am very into this ship. I live for cute fanart of them together. They have so many cute and funny interactions. The way their personalities flip on the stereotypes of a demon and magical girl are very good. Shamiko is incredibly pure, always wanting to help people and find a peaceful solution. On the other hand Momo is fairly dark in the way she thinks, being more conniving and directly confrontational when a situation comes up.

There’s so many situations where the series has very obvious romantic subtext. And I fully buy into it, it works so well. Its romantic af. I also think their dynamic is written very great because you don’t HAVE TO interpret their relationship as romantic. You can see it as just very close friends. Or you can see them as having a sisterly bond, having the report of both argumentative and caring similar to how I’ve heard people describe sisters. The idea of Momo’s (not blood relative) sister’s core literally being in Shamiko also lends some credence to this interpretation.

Do I think they’re gonna be in a romantic relationship by the end of this? Probably not. But that doesn’t necessarily mean this is trashy gay baiting. I think it being up to interpretation is fine when it’s backed up by good writing. And here it absolutely is. And even though I made the point that you could see it as unromantic, I just can’t lol. Just to give one example- Shamiko learns about the vassal contract (aka demon marriage) that her Mom and Dad went through and then immediately goes to Momo and says she should be her vassal. That scene has very obvious romantic intention and you cannot deny it. And this moment is not just some one-off thing to get the yuri fans going again, the idea of Momo becoming Shamiko's vassal is very important going forward from there.

I love these two so much as a couple. They have hilarious back and forths, their personalities mesh very well, we see their growing understanding of each other, they can be adorably possessive at times, there's is just so much endearing and charming about their dynamic. I finally understood how people who are super into a ship feel.

All of the characters are at least enjoyable in some way, but the heart of the show is the main duo. And the show never really tries to go against that. If you don’t ship Shamiko and Momo that's fine, but to me it never really presents anyone else as super shippable other than Mikan, and It's very clear that isn't something the show itself is pushing.

To quickly go on about other core characters- Lilith is really great, she is really cute and has a lot of funny jokes. And later on she ends up spending less time being the butt of jokes and is genuinely very helpful. Ryo is cute and her relationship with her sister is super wholesome, Mikan is really great and gets a lot of personality and more to do S2 onwards, Shamiko’s mom has some funny moments and has an interesting role, Anri is funny and a good goofball friend, Lico is a funny addition who grew on me a lot, Shirosawa has some funny moments and works as a straight man to Lico’s shenanigans (as well as being the only male character in the show), Sion was my least favorite at first but she also gets a lot to do later and gets more characterization than just “occult + science girl”.

DGND has a much larger and overarching story than most cute wholesome shows do. And it’s written very well. It seems like this would be a mostly episodic cute event of the week kind of story, but its got a heavy story and complete continuity. Story details are spread out well, dripped in between various normal moments in the show. There are constantly little hints being thrown around about the history and background elements. A lot of things that initially seem like just gags actually end up being relevant to a later scene or the overall story. There are a lot of visual details that end up being used later. The story resonates very strongly because the characters are deeply involved in it. A simple story for this simply could’ve been “an evil threat enters the peaceful town and Shamiko and crew need to stop it” with some random villain. Instead, everyone is relevant. Shamiko’s father is involved, Momo’s sister is involved, Shamiko being in the hospital is involved. The town and the characters in it really feel like they have history, and that history is very important to them and the story. And the story does have a lot of dark elements to it. I really like how this very positive and upbeat series has these serious and dark accents that help to balance it out. It makes it more engrossing. It's a very good mix of goofy with enough dark and dramatic elements to make you pause and think seriously about what is going on. The show manages to have plenty of simple episodic bits where it's just the characters being cute and having fun, but not too often or lacking little bits that remind you that there's a serious story and deeper issues. The story generally just continues being interesting and engaging, it never really dips. There are lots of mysteries that you really want to know the answers to.

One moment I like from episode 12 is when Shamiko, Momo and Lilith are talking about Shamiko becoming her vassal.

This just seems like a joke in the moment since they are calling out how Momo is much more like a Demon and should fall to darkness by becoming Shamiko's vassal. Later on this is exactly what happens, despite Momo declining becoming her vassal. But even if you did immediately think this is foreshadowing, when it does come back up it's not exactly how or when you would expect it. So, it's interesting and surprising whether you assumed its foreshadowing or not. This is just one of many moments and a more direct one where something you expect to just be a joke ends up being an important detail later that gets revisited.

A truly unique aspect of the town is how demons and magical girls are set up to not interact with each other. That is in order to apparently keep the peace. Shamiko is able to transcend this because she has Sakura’s core. So she is the only one who can unite all the magical people in the town in order to figure things out and protect the town. I really like this detail.

To compare DGND to another one of my favorite series, the town of DGND feels similar to Morioh of Jojo part 4. Over time we spend so much time getting to know different places and people in it that it grows into a place that you can believe exists. You see all the moving parts and areas that make it function. You can imagine where people go and what they do outside of what's directly on screen. This is what is required to make a fully realized setting, and as a result makes the story very engrossing. Reaching this should be the main goal of a series that has a static setting, and I feel both these shows excel at this.

There is so much well written slow growth in the series. Shamiko and Momo opening up to each other, Shamiko growing more capable, Lilith being able to interact more, the characters learning about the history of the town. It's very satisfying and feels natural. Its distributed very well.

Where many stories rely on big lore dumps, DGND never has this problem because of how well details are parceled throughout the series. Momo starts out as a very taciturn character you don’t know much about. Momo never goes on some long rant about her entire sad backstory in one moment. That isn’t necessary because if you pay attention during the dialogue, you can get all of it in a more natural way. As it comes out organically through her conversations with Shamiko and other characters and when the story actually demands that information. She doesn’t need to directly say that she is depressed because you can figure that out from how she talks and acts in little moments. She doesn’t need to directly say why she is not an active magical girl anymore because you can figure out that bad things went down from little moments in her conversations. The writing is not lazy and does not treat the viewer like they are dumb. It gives you the opportunity to speculate and figure things out yourself, then later when it makes sense for the characters to be direct, they clarify things.

Putting great writing aside for just a moment, DGND is SO CUTE AND WHOLESOME. So many moments of the characters just getting along and having fun together that are super endearing. This show is just so charming and makes you smile.

DGND is also very funny. Shamiko and Momo’s report is hilarious, especially at the beginning when they’re more at odds. There’s lots of silly weird gags, like puns and random goofy things. All over you can see little visual gags, like text on an object or a goofy item. DGND has a openly goofy tone that it presents confidently. One recurring joke that's really funny is how all the normal people react tamely to all the magical stuff that goes on. There’s a good mix of different kinds of jokes. There are also lots of gags parodying magical girls. I mentioned how I like how it has the negative perspective of magical girls to balance the positive aspects. The show continues to be very balanced by having magical girl parody as well as unironically cool magical girl things (mainly the transformations). It does its silly moments in good ways. Its goofy but doesn’t do it too much and make it feel like its random just for the sake of it. The anime mixes goofiness and story perfectly. I love the tone of this series so much.

There isn’t exactly a ton of serious life messages, but there’s nice stuff about societal expectations and getting along with people. When it comes to the magical society, it's very clearly anti segregation and anti-stereotyping based on race.

This show has the philosophy of “finding joy in the little things” that you see a lot in Japanese media. Such as the very poor Shamiko family still remaining happy. I’ve always vibed with this perspective and like how it's portrayed here.

DGND is not the best-looking show visually in the animation department, but it is great where it matters, and the weaker parts are often played as a strength. The art is generally very good but the animation is very limited. But especially in season 1 the limited visuals are played very well. Whether it's the magical transformations still looking very good or using limited animation to do funny gags (like the EEEHHH gif you probably saw even if you did not watch the show when it first came out where they just wiggle around the static image). Imo the limited animation really doesn’t hurt the viewing experience. And it gets better in S2. All the magical transformations are really good. I think the coloring in particular for the anime are very nice.

And there’s one visual aspect of DGND that takes a lot of extra effort, which is the character designs. One visually distinct thing that elevates DGND above a lot of anime is the number of outfits the main characters have. It adds so much more personality. They feel so much more alive because it feels like they actually have a closet full of clothes. There is so much more effort put into the character design. So many series just have the characters in a singular outfit 99% of the time. Which is understandable because that's easier to draw and replicate. But it can make them feel more like a character that only exists for that singular thing. Characters only shown in combat outfits are hard to imagine in another scenario when they aren't on the battlefield. With school uniforms it's hard to imagine then without them. But with DGND the number of outfits we get for the characters make it easier to imagine them in a variety of situations. They feel like they have lives because they have all the outfits they would for people who have normal lives. Sometimes shows feel like time stops in between what we as the audience see, like the characters don’t have lives outside of what we see. But DGND in multiple ways avoids this issue due to its character designs and other details. This is an incredibly important point to me. I absolutely love this aspect of the show and wish more shows did this. I have a lot more respect for the art of the show because of this point.

Another character design aspect that is done very well is Shamiko’s tail. Her tail is incredibly expressive and constantly moving and changing. It portrays a lot of her emotions and is a thing for us and also the characters in the show to react to. I love the characters, primarily Momo, reacting to Shamiko’s tail expressions. It really shows how Momo pays attention to Shamiko and makes the characters feel like they have more spacial awareness. Bring that up because I feel sometimes shows can make characters appear to only see or hear what the writing allows them to in a questionable way. Verbal example of this is when a character says half a sentence before getting cut off, and everyone acts like they heard nothing at all. The anime portrays the tail well, and further makes Shamiko a very expressive and an interesting character to watch. Which is very important for a main character.

While there can be limited animation it still succeeds at making the characters be very expressive. There are lots of great faces.

I also like all of the openings and endings. One thing nice about them is that they don’t directly spoil anything like many openings tend to but do have little things that can make you go “oh i know what that creature is” or “I get that now!”.

Now to the sound design, which is immaculate. The anime has the best sound effects of anything I’ve watched. There are so many great goofy sound effects that add to the character's reactions. My favorite has to be the train whistle toy used when Shamiko or Lilith is angry. The sound effects further add to how expressive the characters feel. The creators clearly had a ton of fun doing the sound design and it comes through. A fun goofy soundtrack for a fun and goofy show.

The music is also very good as a whole. I usually don’t pay a ton of attention to background music but I’m obsessed with DGND so I do here. I think the BGM fits well with the setting. They sound very magical and fantastical while also sounding modern. It's very peppy and can get high energy with Shamiko’s strong reactions, while also being very low during the slower moments. And sad when it needs to. I’m not great at describing good music since I’m not a huge fan of music, so I’ll just say it's far above average in my opinion. My favorite track is probably Shamiko’s transformation theme.

The voice acting (just talking about the Japanese voice actors, i haven’t seen a lot of the eng dub) is super good. Of course, Konomi Kohara is absolutely amazing as Shamiko. She is the master of cute anime girl noises and gives so much energy in her performance. She brings out Shamiko’s wide range of emotions and mannerisms extremely well. Momo’s voice acting is also extremely good, the soft but dull voice perfectly fits Momo’s character. All around the voice acting is excellent but the main two really have their personalities on full display from the voice acting.

When it comes to anime vs manga, I do like the manga. But the voice acting, soundtrack and anime additions add so much for me. I have to recommend the anime over the manga. But if you are more sensitive to the anime girl noises type of thing and find it annoying, you will likely enjoy the manga more.

—---Here’s a good spot if you are skipping to the end—----

Each individual aspect of the show is strong. The characters and the world are very dense and endearing with great drama and emotion behind them. If you are into light romances, you will very much adore the sweet relationship between Shamiko and Momo. If you enjoy light fantasy then I feel DGND provides a unique world with interesting interpretation of magical girls and demons. If you just like comedies, DGND will keep you laughing constantly with its silly gags. If you enjoy a detailed story that builds over time, you should greatly enjoy the story here. If you just want girls doing cute and wholesome things there’s plenty of it. I really do recommend this series to anyone.

I absolutely adore this series, it's very close to my heart. It’s in my top favorites and I consider it my comfort show. Fanart of DGND never fails to make me feel a little happier. I love this goofy world and its endearing characters. I love the complex and constantly developing story. I love the wholesomeness with dark flavors behind it.

I had a ton of fun writing this one! It brought me a lot of joy getting back into the nitty gritty of this series. I wrote a ton for this and spent way more time on it than my other posts so far. Hopefully it wasn’t too much messier than the others in terms of formatting, separation etc. It’s so long and I didn’t want to spend a ton more time just doing minor edits lol. But I truly did put a lot into this one, it deserves it! I really tried to put down anything I thought of well and remove very little. I could go on even more if I let myself, but I do not want to force it and have this take a long time. I've written enough, I'm satisfied.

Also if you want to hear more gushing about this show and get that episode by episode, I highly recommend Anime Slushie’s YouTube videos on DGND. I like their discussions on the show. And re-listening to them helped me to get the writing juices flowing. If we get a season 3 you better believe I’ll be doing episode by episode posts where I go into detail on everything.

I want to end this by wishing the absolute best to Izumo Ito, the author of DGND who has been combating health issues. Thank you for all your hard work on this amazing series! Thanks for reading! Please check out Demon Girl Next Door / Machikado Mazoku! And please give us season 3.

#anime #review #manga #demon girl next door #machikado mazoku #blog

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strawberryvulture · 2 years

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in defense of the scarlet witch

i am unwell

but i don't think Wanda was 100% unjustified in what she did. since we've met her in the mcu she's been abused and tormented and forced to watch everyone she loves die.

first, her home is attacked and her parents killed, and she hides under a bed for two days just waiting to die. that alone is a traumatic event worthy of some mental breaks.

but THEN

she's tortured and manipulated and experimented on by HYDRA.

we're never told how long the twins were with Struker, and we don't know what exactly he did to them. but whatever they - and Wanda specifically - endured at the hands of HYDRA must've taken a emotional and physical toll. yet again, a trauma worth lashing out over.

but Wanda doesn't lash out completely because she has one stabilizing force in her life: her brother.

Pietro is selfless and kind, and he's always taking care of Wanda. every problem she has, he fixes. everything she asks of him, he does. they live a life based entirely on a symbiotic, co-dependent relationship.

and than Pietro makes a decision without consulting Wanda.

he sacrifices himself, selfless to the very end. and it seems to be the very first time that selflessness wasn't directed at his sister. it was the very first time Pietro ever saw something as being more important than Wanda.

what a betrayal that must've been. Wanda's the younger twin, she's never before lived in a world where Pietro wasn't by her side. she's never known a single moment when she had to do anything alone. he left her completely by herself, one half of a whole. no roadmap, no hand to hold, no one to kiss her forehead and say I'll fix it

if you ask me, after all she's been through, her Ultron-Fight grieving was an underreaction

her twin is dead and her city is in ruins. she's taken away from everything she's ever known, away from the country her brother and parents are buried in, and taken to a place where she knows no one and nothing.

she's a young woman with the weight of years of anger and trauma on her shoulders. she has no family and new powers she doesn't understand. it's a miracle her mind hadn't broken already.

and than, because of powers she didn't ask for and can't understand yet, she's labled a "weapon of mass destruction"

she's told she's a monster, that she's dangerous and people should fear her. her agency is taken from her on the grounds that she's more weapon than woman.

even through all of this, Wanda keeps her composure, and she's able to find a light in her life. to fill the hole that Pietro left.

for a brief window of time, she's happy. she's content. she's not an Avenger or a prisoner. she's just Wanda. she's in love and she's unbothered.

but Wanda's happiness never lasts.

she's forced into a corner. forced to choose between killing the love of her life and letting the entire universe die. she can't be selfish, she's an Avenger, a hero. and at the core of her being, she's a good person.

she makes an unbearably painful sacrifice - a sacrifice that doesn't even amount to anything - and she bears it.

(THEN SHE GETS DUSTED FOR FIVE YEARS!!)

and this is the last straw. she's been so strong for so long, fighting off her demons and trying not to let her brokenness show.

she's tried to move on, tried to simply remember the love she once had, but it's all too much. she's so powerful that her long-due mental break manifests itself in something she didn't ever mean to happen.

but she just can't bring herself to stop it. she's finally found a place where she's safe.

she finally has a family. all she's ever really wanted.

and it's taken from her. again.

other people can make all the mistakes they want, be as dangerous and reckless as they want, hurt as many people as they want, and still get to live happily ever after. but not Wanda.

througout Wanda's whole story, she's been searching for hope - in SHEILD/HYDRA, in the Avengers, in Vision - and the black magic of the Darkhold gives her that hope.

but it warps her mind. it seduces her with the promise of that coveted happily ever after. it brings all the worst parts of her into the foreground, all the grief and longing and pain. it changes this beautiful, loving woman into what she always feared she was: the bad guy.

Wanda Maximoff has spent so much time trying to stay strong, trying to ignore all the trauma she's been put through, but when she finally lets herself actually grieve - as what she is, a mourning mother - what does Stephen Strange tell her?

Instead of sympathizing and offering help, he tells her that her children weren't real. In that one sentence he invalidates her pain, and all the other pains that came before it. She's had everything taken from her, and all she's asking is to be given one thing back. She's not asking for much.

She said she didn't want to rule everything, she just wanted to be a wife and a mother, and be loved.

This part of Wanda's story is not a "villian turn" it is the end of a very long rope. She’s been pushed to the breaking point too many times. It is a worn down mind finally snapping.

Wanda Maximoff is not a villian, she's a tragedy.

#wanda maximoff #multiverse of madness #dr strange spoilers #the scarlet witch #mcu #avengers: age of ultron #the avengers #captain america civil war #avengers infinity war #avengers endgame #wandavision #wanda x vision #wanda and pietro #pietro maximoff #maximoff twins #journaling is for nerds #mcu meta #character study #long post

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madpunks · 1 year

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i need medical professionals to understand that medical negligence kills.

i am in involved with my medical care- i have to attend therapy, see a psychatric medication manager, a primary care doctor, physical therapists, and a gender affirming care specialist. i am seen by a lot of doctors and have been in a lot of different medical settings. lately i have hit a rough patch where i cannot seem to have my situation taken seriously

my blood pressure has been so high, for months now, that i was within stroke and cardiac event territory several times. my doctors ping-ponged me between one another- i was prescribed blood pressure meds when i stayed in the psych ward in july. then my psych nurse refilled them, but told me my primary care doctor must be the one to refill them, because she doesn't know anything about bp meds. i asked my pcp, she told me "have your other doctor fill them out, then, since you had them filled over there before."

it took me months to get my life saving medications back. i cried in front of a receptionist at a later appointment where i was told the provider could not see me for our scheduled appointment time that day because "i hadn't filled out the paperwork". they never sent or told me about paperwork. they took my blood pressure after i explained my frustration and booked me for an emergency appointment with a pcp the next business day. but it took until i cried and my blood pressure was dangerously high from stress for someone to care.

i finally have it, now, but i am also fighting for my psychiatric medications as well. the psychiatric meds manager i mentioned above went on maternity leave and someone filled in for her. this doctor didn't know me. he asked me many questions, but never waited for my answers. he spoke over me, told me some of my diagnoses were wrong/misdiagnosed me, and took me off of several of my vital medications. he stopped my bipolar mood stabilizer because he said it didn't help with bipolar mania- he never asked if i was needing help with mania, depression, or mixed episodes. he just assumed.

he also stopped my seroquel- i am a schizoaffective person- because he didn't like the dose i was at, but because i am fat, he said i needed to be on the antipsychotic that was the least likely to put weight on me. he put me back on risperidone. i had been on it in the past. it caused me severe depression. he didn't ask what it did to me. he just put me back on it without question. i haven't touched those damn pills since i got them from the pharmacy. i am already severely depressed as is, i can't even fathom.

while i was discussing a personal event that happened in my life that affected me, my therapist earlier today asked me "why are you letting something so insignificant have power over you? why would something like that make you suicidal? why are you letting this person have power over you" i had finally lost my patience with her, and i snapped, and told her why i was justified in feeling so unwell. i gave her the context of my situation, and didn't back down. i'm firing her next session. later on, my case worker informed me that's victim blaming, and that it was not okay for her to minimize my issues or make me feel like i in some way made my feelings happen of my own free will. i felt so incensed i had to do something about it.

i can't really sleep at night right now. i can't focus, my energy levels are all over and my depression is ruling my life. im struggling with invasive thoughts and horrible painful suicidal lows. i need people to understand that this type of medical negligence can kill. any of this could've killed me at any point. this is not acceptable. this is what american mentally ill people in care deal with. please understand that this is not how anyone should have to live.

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wishful-seeker · 15 days

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I think people should give kids more credit for knowing what they need.

When i was missing so much high-school i had to do summer school because i was not only physically ill but also very mentally unwell, sooooo many adults kept telling me to go to school, even though doing so made me have severe, debilitating panic attacks, and i was dealing with a lot of physical pain aswell. So many people said "you'll never amount to anything, man up and go to school." And i kept telling them "im sick and i know what my body needs." But nobody likes it when a 14-15 year old says that. God forbid a CHILD knows exactly what her body and mind needs, shes just a stupid kid how could she possibly know?

I promise your child actually knows what they're doing and what they need. Please listen to them. If you kid says they need to stay home from school there is a reason. Maybe its mental health, or physical health, but kids aren't stupid. I would like to see less of this ablism where a child that doesn't go to school is considered a bad child.

Do you know how many teachers hated me specifically for not being able to go to school? It didn't matter that i had a note saying every absence is excused by a doctor, they still assumed i was fooling my parents into letting their bratty child do whatever they wanted. They would ridicule me TO MY FACE and say I'd never pass. I did pass btw. I finished most of my school work on one single day of summer class because i missed a lot of that too. But i learned nothing, because i was BUSY BEING FUCKING SICK i had BETTER things to worry about. Idc what the excuse is, absence should never mean you fail a class or don't pass a grade. It is so ablist to assume that every student can follow THE VERY UNREASONABLE SCHEDULE of waking up at 4 to 5 am and being at school for 8 hours (WHEN YOU ONLY DO ACTUAL WORK FOR 4!!) and kids only getting 6 hours of sleep (WHEN A LOT NEED 9 TO 12!!!) for 5 fucking days (EVEN 4 WOULD BE BETTER!!) Its absolutely ridiculous and the only kids can do it are either able bodied, able minded, and even then they are more stressed than a child should ever be. And if they cant follow this schedule they are a Bad Person. I had teachers that literally treated me like a dog. I'd ask them for make up work and they would give me the most shitty and rude attitude i have ever seen. NO ONE has treated me worse about my health than teachers. It was because i was a kid. When i had to drop out of college for my disability, the teachers were incredibly respectful and wished me a speedy recovery and hoped id be back in their class next year.

Being sick as a child is one of the most isolating and angering experiences you will go through. Adults take every shitty thing they feel and throw it at you because you are a vulnerable child. They would never speak the way they speak to you to adults because then they'd get their ass beat or fucking killed. But because you are 15 years old, they will use you as a punching bag.

If your kid is sick, FUCKING LISTEN TO THEM!! i hate to burst your bubble but when i say "people know whats best for them more than anyone else" I MEAN KIDS TOO.

#ablism #cripple punk #mad punk

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junipers-hellspace · 7 months

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I Need Help .

Hi Tumblr. I feel pathetic for reaching out here but I have no where else to go. My name is June. I'm a 15 year old mentally unwell teen girl who is in an abusive relationship and I need help getting out of it.

My girlfriend and I have only been together for a few months. We've known each other for a little over a year now. We are both mentally ill and we both have shitty home lives. I'm recovering from a self harm addiction and anorexia. I've stayed with my girlfriend for as long as I have with hope that she would get better but she hasn't - she is actively getting worse and harming me and every one around her. I'm telling you all this so you have a backstory.

Anytime I do something that upsets my girlfriend, she threatens suicide. She will say she wants to/is going to overdose or simply kill herself and keep me up for hours trying to talk her down and then stop responding. In the morning she tells me she stopped responding because she fell asleep and didn't warn me. Every night she does this I have horrible panic attacks because when she stops responding I'm left to think she went through with it and killed herself. She does this every time I have to talk her down, which is at least once a week - normally more. This is extremely detrimental to my mental health. The thought that my girlfriend killed herself and I couldn't convince her not to is horrible, I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

She's also extremely obsessive and possessive. At first, I didn't see this as a problem because I am also that way. I was also extremely obsessive towards her and toxic in that way. I admit I was wrong for that and I was toxic. But she took it further than I ever have or ever would. I recently got back in contact with an ex of mine because he reached out to me. I never intended to replace my girlfriend with him or even get back into a relationship with him. When I told her I was talking to him again she said I was going to replace her and started talking about wanting to kill herself because of this. She got into a verbal, screaming fight with her father because he wouldn't let her come to my house. She told me she planned on physically fighting him that night if he didn't let her come over and that she would stab him. She has put me above her friends and has started ignoring her friends and getting mad at them for trying to be with her and not letting her be with me every moment she can. She has damaged her relationship with her father, her mother, and her friends because of me.

She talks about wanting to kill or injure people a lot, to the point where it's not just intrusive thoughts, it's something she wants to do and as she has stated, is willing to do. She has talked about being a sadist and wanting to hurt/hit me before. And she does. She does hurt me. She bites me to the point of leaving deep marks that last days, she twists my wrists and arms until they almost break, and she never stops. I've cried and begged her to stop hurting me before and she smiled at me and didn't stop. She has a history with hitting people and being physically abusive towards her friends and family. She has told me this herself. When she gets upset, she hits things. I don't want to be one of those things.

As I stated earlier, I'm in recovery for a self harm addiction and for anorexia. My girlfriend says she supports me and will help me recover, but she doesn't. When we hug she feels the need to tell me she can still feel my rib bones so I haven't gained as much weight as I think I have - but the thing is, with recovery, the way your body looks and how much you weigh doesn't matter. You are supposed to heal your relationship with food and yes of course get to a healthy weight. I don't know if she knows how triggering what she says is because she says it a lot. She always mentions how I am still bony and it's triggering She also encouraged me to relapse and cut myself again just so I could make her a vial of my blood. She wanted me to cut myself and ruin my progress and mental health and risk getting sent back to a psych ward just so she can have a vial of my blood.

I'm scared to break up with her because if I do I know she will try to kill herself. And if she succeeds, her blood will be on my hands. I will be the one who caused it. And if she doesn't succeed, I'm scared she will come to my house and hurt me. I'm scared she will hit me or kill me. I don't know what to do. I can't tell her parents and I can't tell my own because that would be unsafe and I would be put in more danger.

That's why I'm coming here. I need help. Any help. I need advice. What do I do. If you get this on your feed and you read this far, please reblog. It could save my life. Thank you

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