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#loki x reader angst
lokiprompts · 1 year
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Burning Words - Loki X Reader
Summary: Loki is terrified to tell you that he loves you, but a whispered confession in the dark throws him for a loop.
Warnings: Pining. Some self deprecating thoughts. Otherwise pure fluff.
Words: 3.2k Exactly!
Joining in on the 14 Days of Valentines Event hosted by @muddyorbsblr!! This was supposed to be more crack, but after a rough week, we got ourselves a comforting Loki fic <3
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Those three precious and meaningful words burned in Loki’s throat. Every day for months they threatened to bubble up from his chest and burst forth like a tidal wave he was happy to drown in. To scream his undying and relentless affection for you from the highest rooftops; to openly profess that you laid claim to his heart as much as he had yours.
I love you
Every little thing you did threatened to have the god bursting out declarations and weaving endless sonnets of adoration. From the way your hands were always dwarfed by his yet fit so perfectly together. How you always knew to give him that reassuring squeeze when his insecurities started to creep into his chest. And how you looked at him like he hung the sun, the moon, and the stars as if he didn’t commit gross atrocities to your home planet. But it was your endless patience, unconditional understanding, and constant reassurance that he was worthy that made his heart tumble from like to love.
Yet, as each day passed, those three words died on his tongue as soon as he gathered a fraction of nerve to confess. As soon as you looked at him with your wide eyes, filled with a reverence for him he could never begin to truly understand, all his resolve would falter. Every insecurity that ever flitted through his mind would instantly dissolve his confidence like salt in water, leaving him parched for your acceptance and praise. And each time you would quench his need like the oasis you were. Endlessly filling his cup and building up a king who would never receive a crown.
It tormented him every night.
And this night was no different. You laid nestled in his arms, holding him as if he was the one true anchor of your life. It was a fact that you always insisted on, one of many that Loki would playfully debate with you. But there was always an underlying subtext of self-doubt in his banter that would make you hold him that much tighter. Like your embrace could scare away his insecurities and doubts and each time, Loki would soak up your affection like a dry sponge.
Loki’s arms held you close, the steadiness of his heart beating in your ear easily lulling you to sleep. This part of the night was always the god’s favorite. Due to his…biology, he didn’t need as much sleep as you, his precious mortal. It was the perfect time to greedily bask in your warmth and press lingering kisses into your hair, whispering promises that tomorrow would be the day he finally tells you his heart’s secret. And every once and awhile, Loki would find himself in the peaceful place of almost slumber. A semi restful place devoid of nightmares and only the feeling of you.
I love you…
The words were spoken so softly, so quietly that at first, he thought that he might have dreamed it, but it was enough for Loki to shoot his eyes open. He looked down at you, and you seemed to still be sleeping. Is it possible? Loki wondered, Could you have said…?
“Darling…?” Loki carefully whispered, testing your wakefulness, “Did you say something?”
A shudder traveled through your body as his velvety voice caressed your ear, a reminder of the effect he had on you that had Loki smirking. Yet, your eyes remained closed.
            The idea of fishing through your mind to see if it was a dream of you confessing your love to him or to your beloved cheesecake – or worse to a romantic interest that wasn’t him- was the god of mischief’s second approach. You had given him carte blanche to access your mind; a gift that still astonishes him to this day.
            I trust you, Loki. I know you will only use it if you absolutely must. Sweet girl, you trusted him so much. More than what he deserved. And for a fleeting moment, there was a twinge of guilt as his hand glowing emerald with dancing seidr hovered above the crown of your head. But the need to know ultimately placed his hand on your skull. Years of magic threaded through the fibers of your brain and pulled at your recent memories. Loki stifled a groan when he did not find anything there. No dreams that remained and no clues about those sweet words that escaped your lips.
            Perhaps I dreamed it, Loki thought to himself, but just as that thought passed through his mind, he steeled his resolved. Curiosity burned through him and drove him to give your shoulders a little shake.
            “Darling?” He not so carefully whispered this time. The endearment coming out more like a hushed yell. Your jostling made you shuffle a bit, but you only snuggled in closer and let out a content sigh as your nose brushed against the pale skin of his chiseled chest. The little gesture made Loki’s heart swell, and he almost reconsidered his next move. Almost.
He shook you more forcefully this time, jolting you awake.
            “Huh? What’s going on?” You looked around the still dark bedroom, bleary eyes finally focusing on Loki, “Are you okay? Did you have a nightmare?”
            Guilt instantly washed over him. “No, sweet girl, I am perfectly fine…” Heat flooded his face, praying to the Norns that you couldn’t see the blush you constantly teased him about, “You, uh, had said something. I was wondering….”
            Loki chewed his lip as he looked down at you; the perfect being who patiently waited to hear the reason why you were woken from your sweet slumber without a hint of anger or resentment.
            “I was wondering if you – if you – if you would care to repeat it?” Loki hated how small he sounded, but he needed to know.
            You scrunched your nose in confusion, and Loki resisted the urge to bend down and kiss it, “Huh? I am sorry, Loki, but I don’t remember saying anything. Was I talking in my sleep?”
            The sight of you sleepily letting out a little yawn and apologizing to him, even though he was the one that woke you, had those three words laying heavy on his tongue. Every bit of his heart screamed to simply speak the words to you, and he yearned even more for you to echo those words back to him.
            “No,” Loki sighed, stroking your hair, “I must have been mistaken. Go back to sleep, Darling.” You smiled at him and leaned up, kissing the corner of his mouth as if you knew what he longed to say. Like you could simply survive off the taste of the words on his lips until he felt ready to utter them.
            Soon enough, you fell back asleep, and Loki was left alone to stew in his regret and confusion. If only he could hear you say those words again, he would know if they were truly for him…
            The smell of fresh breakfast wafting into your shared bedroom had your nose twitching in anticipation, enough to draw you out of a restful sleep. Stretching out on the large bed, you only felt the softness of your sheets and not the firmness of your god. Your prince. Your love. A gleeful smile easily grew on your face as you realized he must have made you breakfast. The best meal of the day.
            As if on cue, Loki burst into the bedroom with a beaming smile that mirrored your own, holding a tray with all your favorite breakfast goodies. When you saw the food, you immediately perked up, sitting up in bed, and your enthusiasm made Loki’s chest puff with pride. You always appreciated all the things he did for you, no matter how big or small, and he lived for the thrill of your joy.
            “What have you brought me, my prince?” You chirped. The way you always called him ‘yours’ made his heart flutter endlessly.
            “Breakfast in bed for, my princess.” Loki grinned back, placing the tray in your awaiting lap, “I recall that it is your favorite. I tried to include all of the things you enjoy….pancakes, eggs, fruit… a little bit of everything for you, Darling.”
            “Oh!” Your cheeks flushed an adorable rosy color, making those three words ignite in his throat yet again, “This is wonderful, Loki! These are all my favorites! Thank you!”
            Excitedly, you started to gobble down the delicious meal in front of you. Loki looked on with equal parts happiness and hesitance on his face.
            “Do you like it?” He started, trying to choose his words carefully. You nodded your head eagerly, wiping a bit of syrup from the corner of your mouth making the god laugh.
            “Yes, I like it! It’s amazing!” You quickly speared a piece of cantaloupe on your fork and popped it into your mouth as if to prove your point.
            Loki looked down at his lap where his fingers played with a piece of lint that was on his loose hanging sweatpants, “But you don’t love it?”  The crystal blue orbs that you adored so much did everything to avoid your eyes, but even without seeing you knew insecurity swam in them. A gentle hand covered his, the softness of your skin against his warrior calluses always serving as a stark reminder of how innocent you were and how monstrous.
            “Oh, Loki, I love it.”  As soon as the word left your honeyed lips, Loki’s eyes shot to yours. All he saw reflected at him was warmth and tenderness, a sense of home that he felt every time he looked at you. The way you spoke the word sounded familiar, like it could have been what you spoke in the night, yet it still wasn’t quite right. There was something….missing that he couldn’t quite put his finger on.
            He leaned forward and kissed your lips, delighting how you immediately wrapped an arm around his neck and tangling your fingers in his hair. With a playful tug of his tresses, you deepened the kiss. He groaned as he tasted the syrup that remained on your tongue- your taste, your essence, making it that much sweeter. Slowly, he pulled away, make sure to savor every drop of you.
            “The sweetest treat there is.” He grinned.
            The rest of the morning and afternoon was restoring. A perfect, lazy day entangled in each other’s arms. Your back was pressed against Loki’s chest and each of you held your individual books. The words flowed easily off the page as your eyes darted back and forth, but Loki found himself simply turning his pages for show while he quietly observed you. The little movements of your mouth as you silently spoke choice phrases, the gasps as you read something shocking, and the blood that rushed to your ears when you came upon a particularly erotic scene – all made Loki more entranced by you and more hopelessly in love.
            “Darling?” He started carefully, much like this morning and the night before. You only hummed in response, still caught up in the story of your book.
            “How long as it been since you spoke to your friend? The one you grew up with?”
            That made you drop your book and look up at Loki in confusion, “It’s been a while. Why do you ask?”
            You felt him shrug behind you before pretending to peek back at his book, “I just recall you enjoy speaking with them. Perhaps you should catch up sometime.” The comment was innocent, but it was enough to plant a seed in your mind. Sure enough, later in the day, you had picked up the phone to call your dear friend.
            Loki stayed perched on the sofa, still pretending to read while you paced the room with your phone in hand and pressed to your ear. Fervently, you spoke to your longtime friend. The joy spilling from your lips making Loki’s mouth twitch at the corners. Every detail of your lives was shared, and laughter echoed all around the room. Loki would never tire of the sound of your laugh. Eventually, you said your goodbyes and turned to your lover with a content smile.
            “I am so glad you reminded me to call them, Loki! It was great catching up.” But your smile faded as soon as you saw your prince’s frown. Quickly, you sat next to him on the couch and cupped his face with your hand.
            “What’s wrong, Loki?”
            Loki swallowed thickly, the sweet smell perfume bringing a fresh wave of butterflies to his stomach, “It is quite silly, really.”
            You smiled so sweetly at him, it made his heart clench, “Try me.”
            He avoided your eyes for the second time today, “You didn’t say you loved them when you said goodbye on your communication device. You always have before when you spoke to them. Is that…do you not care for your friend, anymore?”
            You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped your throat, but you pulled Loki in close for a reassuring hug, “Oh, of course I love them! It must have slipped my mind.” You pulled away just enough, so you could press your forehead against his. The comfort from the closeness of your body and your mere presence brought him was already threatening to rip those three words straight from his chest once more.
            “I’ll call them right now to tell them…” You tilted your head and left a lingering kiss on his forehead. The new agonizing ache in his heart lingering along with it.
            Just as you said, you picked up your cell phone and called back your friend who immediately answered, as evident by your wide smile.
            “Hey, I just forgot to tell you that I love you!” You smiled a bit wider as Loki guessed your friend repeated the sentiment back to you. The god tried to ignore the burning jealousy that started to well up within him when he heard you say those three words he so desperately wanted to say, so easily and to another no less. The only thing that gave him solace was the fact that much like this morning, this ‘I love you’ wasn’t the same he supposedly heard last night. Something was off about it. A missing puzzle piece he couldn’t quite solve.
            The jealousy that coursed through his body and took a violent hold of his heart and his mind told him that you must have been dreaming of someone else. A person you pined for in secret when you were alone in your shared bed, awaiting Loki to join you in the late-night hours. Someone you desperately desired. Someone who was worthy of that desire.
            “Loki, you have to tell me what’s wrong.” Loki hadn’t noticed that you hung up with your friend, only to join him back on the couch. The look of sincere concern almost had him cracking, but being stubborn as ever, he held fast.
            “I am quite alright, Darling, I assure you.” He flashed you a tight-lipped smile that definitely didn’t reach his eyes. You gripped his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze, reminding him of how you always knew when to comfort him. The ache in his heart grew tenfold, and he kept his eyes trained on his lap. Anything to avoid looking you in the eyes and facing the fact that you didn’t love him back.
            “Loki…” The brokenness of your voice was the only reason why he lifted his head. Tears welled in the corner of your eyes and still, you gripped his hand like it was your lifeline, “You have been avoiding looking at me all afternoon. I know something is wrong. You tell me everything, Loki.”
            You cupped Loki’s cheek with your free hand, and he leaned into the comfort of your palm, “Why won’t you tell me?”
            Loki desperately wanted to tell you why he was acting so strangely. That he may have heard you whisper the words ‘I love you’ in the dark, and now it plagued his mind, and it was all he could think about. How he regretted not being able to confess his love for you every day for months on end due to his own cowardice and his own insecurities.
The tears in your eyes threatened to spill over when Loki didn’t answer you. The silence between you two was deafening and so different from the affectionate god you grew to love. Loki saw the wetness of your eyelashes, evidence of sorrow that should never be there, let alone placed there by him. Every day he vowed to be a source of happiness and comfort for you. A place of peace within the chaos like, you were to him. To be your home.
As soon as your first tear fell, the words tumbled from Loki’s mouth before he could stop them.
            “I love you.”
            Even though they were rushed from his mouth, each syllable conveyed endless promises of devotion and reverence.  The promise that you were the treasure of his heart and something so precious that he would burn worlds to ensure your happiness.
            A flurry of emotions swept across your face. At first, there was a look of confusion, then disbelief, and then pure joy.
            “You, uh, what?”
            Loki had imagined this moment for months, and the one thing he did not expect was to feel instant regret. The need to run away was overwhelming, and his heart hammered in his chest. He swallowed hard, looking away from you yet again.
            “Please, don’t make me say it again.” The god that towered over many, the god who made the world kneel was only the frail fragment of an unsure boy.
            Your hand never left his cheek, and your thumb rubbed the sharp edges of his cheekbones with soothing strokes. Tenderly, you coaxed his head to turn and for him to look at you once again.
            “Please, Loki.” You leaned closer until your breath caressed his face with your pleading whispers, “Say it again.”
            Tears began to brim his eyes as his ripped out his tortured heart and presented it to you. An offering to his goddess.
            “I love you, Y/N.” The words were surer this time, but still breathless with the anxiety of your reply. A happy watery laugh bubbled up from your chest and your other hand was quick to now cup both sides of his face, ensuring that he wouldn’t turn away from you and hide.
            “I love you too, Loki.”
            It instantly was familiar. The tone. Each syllable. It was exactly like the sweet words that he thought were spoken last night. Loki quickly mirrored your happiness and was just as quick to capture your lips in a desperate kiss. Every movement of his mouth, every caress carried all the confessions of love that died on his lips and haunted him. The words flowed just as freely from you, as they did from him, and it was in that moment he realized why all of your other ‘I love you’s’ were not the same. Why the one spoken in the middle of the night, in his sweet embrace was so different.
            That one was just for him.
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Unicorns 🦄: @ozymdias , @lovely-maryj, @multifandom-worlds
@buttercupcookies-blog @fictive-sl0th. @meowmeow-motherfucker @tallseaweed @ladymischief11
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loki-cees-all · 4 months
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Hello and hi, my lovely!
I have this scenario for you that I sometimes think about.
How would Loki react if you (the mortal he might have feelings for but he’s not quite certain yet) were the only one to acknowledge his birthday? Maybe you put up a few balloons and even buy him a little cupcake with a candle on it? How would he react?
Happiest of birthdays to you! You’re a joy to know!! I love you!! 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷
Cupcake For a God {Avengers!Loki x Avengers!Reader}
Cee's Loki Fic Masterlist / AO3 Link
Pairing : Avengers!Loki x Avengers!Reader
Summary : Loki’s birthday is approaching, and it forces himself to reconcile who he wants to be versus who he actually is, and to reflect on his almost certainly unrequited feelings for you.
But what if the feelings weren’t unrequited?
W/c : 1.9k words
Content/Warnings : Angst, a bit of fluff
Author's Note : I swear I tried so hard to make this not so angsty! Please forgive me, Saz! 😭😭😭
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There were a lot of things for Loki to dislike about living on Midgard. 
For starters, he was being forced to live there, inside Stark Tower with the other Avengers as penance for his crimes. It was only fitting, they’d told him, that he should assist in their efforts to keep the mortals safe because he was the reason they needed protecting in the first place.
Loki didn’t bother telling them what Thanos had done to him after he fell from the Bifrost; truthfully, he still didn’t quite understand it himself. That entire year was a blur to him - a painful concoction of lies and manipulations and tears and blood that left him unable to tell the difference between fact and fiction, even almost two years after the torture had began. 
He didn’t want anyone to know how weak he was, about how much he’d lost himself. If they knew how vulnerable he was, they might decide he wasn’t worth the trouble and send him to the dungeons of Asgard instead. 
Another thing he disliked was the forced pleasantries and unnecessary rituals humans had developed with each other, and by extension, him. The humans would smile as they past him by on the street, but it was a falsity every time; the sentiment never reached their eyes, and Loki could smell their fear from several blocks away. 
Loki knew they didn’t actually care how his day was going, that their concern only went as far as making sure he wasn’t on the verge of invading with another alien force under his command. He wasn’t, but honestly, if it meant everyone kept their distance, then he wasn’t going to argue with it. 
It wasn’t fair to say that Loki preferred being alone, but he was certainly used to it, and that was in direct contradiction of the forced socialization he had to endure on Midgard - press conferences, team building exercises (which Loki believed was just an excuse to consume copious amounts of food and drink), training sessions, something called “movie nights”, and missions across the world to dismantle S.H.I.E.L.D.’s various bunkers and bases. 
It was so much talking, and even more listening. So much lying and pretending that everything was fine, that Loki didn’t feel like a caged monster, and that everyone else wasn’t waiting for the littlest thing to completely set him off. 
But Loki was trying as hard as he could to ignore the dull ache that haunted his dreams and every waking moment. He knew he had hurt people, he knew he needed to make up for his grievous transgressions, but he didn’t know how else to make up for it all. So he pressed on, through the discomfort and awkwardness, in the hope that one day everything might become a little easier.
The one bright side to all of this, the one shimmering ray of light amidst the sea of gray, was you. Loki didn’t quite know what to make of his attraction to you - was it real, or was it just your absence of fear in his presence? Had it just been too long since he’d felt the touch of another, or were you actually everything he’d ever wanted?
Loki almost didn’t want to find out, in case it wasn’t real. Because your smile reached your eyes every time you looked at him, and your laughter was like sparks blowing across the embers of a dying fire…but he couldn’t shake the fear that it could just be another trick. 
Perhaps his mind still hadn’t fully recovered from Thanos’ torture. Maybe Thor had put you up to this, as a way of making assimilation easier for him. 
Because why else would you look at him like that? Why would you go out of your way to sit next to him during the team’s movie nights? Why else would you lean towards him on the couch and fall asleep against the shoulder of a villain, of a monster, of a fool? 
It was stupid, and pointless, and illogical, and just like him to irrationally want something he couldn’t ever have. He was a God, and you were a mortal, and it would ultimately end in heartache either way. So while he had the chance, Loki forced himself to remain content and to just linger in the question of what if you could want him too. 
The final thing about Midgard, and the one he despised the most, was the mortal obsession with birthdays. Loki was grateful the Asgardians never paid any attention to such silly and exhausting traditions - which was surprising, considering how much Asgardians loved frivolity. 
So he really shouldn’t have been shocked when Thor discovered, and subsequently fell in love with, the concept of birthdays. His brother immediately requested his mortal companion Jane to perform the necessary calculations to determine the Midgardian equivalent of Thor’s birthdate - and Loki’s as well, which his brother gleefully announced to the entire team and embarrassed him to the deepest pits of his soul. 
A massive celebration was planned for Thor, with enough food and drink to sustain a small country, and on the special night, flashing lights and loud music bathed the massive common room of Stark Tower in merriment and laughter. Everyone was invited, and it would have been rude for Loki to not make an appearance - but it wasn’t because he wanted to admire you in your party dress, although that was a very lovely bonus. 
But as gorgeous as you looked - the longer the party went on, the sadder Loki became. Everyone was talking, smiling, and dancing, congratulating Thor on his many accomplishments and swapping happy stories of all the good times they’d had together. It was painful to witness, to know for a fact that no such party would be happening for himself when his birthday rolled around. 
Loki tried telling himself that he didn’t want it, and that he’d be miserable during it. He tried convincing himself that it would be too loud, and too bawdy, and vain, and that he didn’t need other people’s reassurances that they were happy he was there with them. He told himself he didn’t need it at all, that he was completely fine without it. But it was a lie, so of course it didn’t work. 
As the days approached to Loki’s birthday, he became even more withdrawn than usual. With the exceptions of necessary missions or training, he stopped leaving his room. He was silent during travel on the Quinjet, and refused your invitations to further movie nights, even though the disappointment on your face ripped him apart in ways he’d never experienced before. 
He felt like he deserved to suffer, to collapse in on himself like a dying star because he knew he’d never be worthy of the love and attention his older brother seemed to collect so effortlessly. It wasn’t Thor’s fault; it was just Loki’s lot in life. And the further he receded, the more likely his heartache would be justified, and he couldn’t be surprised if he was already disappointed.
The evening of his birthday was the worst night he’d experienced in a long time, not since the day he let go of the Bifrost. Loki didn’t even come out of his room for dinner that night, choosing instead to feast on pain, and anguish, and regret, and all the feelings he hadn’t ever had the time to process over his thousand years of existence. 
Thor tried several times to lure him out of his room, to no avail. Loki wouldn’t leave - no, he couldn’t leave. He couldn’t bring himself to witness the fact that they’d done nothing special for him, even though he’d be furiously uncomfortable if they did. 
As the hours passed, he tried to distract himself with sleep, and then reading, but neither did the trick. Eventually, he curled up on the window seat of his private quarters, wrapped himself in furs and pressed his forehead against the glass, watching the tiny little mortals going about their nights in blissful ignorance of the god suffering fifty floors above them. 
And Loki was so lost that he could barely respond to the cautious knock on his door, the one that threatened to pull him away from his misery. But his heart leapt in his throat when he heard your voice calling his name, and he wanted so much to let you in, to feel you next to him. 
But the urge to say something cruel, to push you away and continue on alone, was just as strong. Loki didn’t know which to concede to, even as his feet slowly carried him to the door. He didn’t know what he was going to say, even while his fingers raked through his messy curls and rubbed the pain from his eyes. 
He felt ridiculous as he hesitated to open the door; he was a God, and once the most fearsome villain this entire planet had ever seen - but here he was, nervous and split open and too raw to simply open a door and look upon a beautiful woman while he was hiding away from his birthday. 
There was a soft rustling sound on the other side of the door, and Loki’s forehead rested against the wood as he heard your footsteps quietly retreating down the hallway. He’d waited too long, paralyzed by his self-indulgent indecision, and it had pushed you away. 
He thought about yanking the door open and calling after you. He considered begging for you to come back. He desperately wanted to wrap his arms around you and to pull you closer, but all he could manage was to gently pull the door open after he was sure you were gone. 
On the floor of the hallway, waiting patiently and comfortably for him, was a beautifully-decorated cupcake and a note resting on a small paper plate. A single candle rose out of the emerald and sapphire swirls of frosting, and the pink paper was folded in half, with his name written in the loveliest cursive on the outside. 
Loki fought back tears as he retrieved the gift from the floor, and he cautiously balanced the plate in one hand while holding the note in the other. 
Hey Loki,
I know birthdays are hard; they’re hard for me too. But hopefully this treat makes you smile, even just for a second. 
I’ll be awake for a little while longer - stop by my room if you need to talk. I promise I won’t find it weird :) 
XOXO
P.S. I’m really glad you’re here, even if you’re not ready to accept that yet. 
He swallowed hard as he stared at the most generous gift he’d ever received. He didn’t know if you even fully understood what you’d just done for him. He fervently wanted to go after you, and he desperately wanted to continue hiding. 
But you’d extended an invitation, one he could feasibly take you up on. No one would argue it wasn’t in his right to do so. And Gods above, he wanted to, more than anything else he’d ever wanted. But would it be worth it, or would it just make everything worse? 
Loki tore his damp and heavy eyes away from the note and glanced up and down the hallway. He shut his door, just as quietly as he’d opened it, wondering if it would be a mistake to allow his heart guide him to where he’d rather be. 
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lokisprettygirl · 1 year
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Series Masterlist
Under his influence (Post Avengers! Loki x female reader) (Series)
Summary : The year is 2012, Loki picks up the tesseract in an attempt to escape from the clutches of Avengers and his brother Thor only to end up in a tiny studio appartment in Minesotta, the occupant being none other than you. You reluctantly agree to hide and help the crazy god of mischief and terrorism wondering why you were even thinking about helping a fugitive?
Warning: 18+ This series will contain smut in the later chapters, Soft loki alert, Read the warning in every chapter
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3
Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6
Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9
Chapter 10, Chapter 11 Chapter 12
Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15
Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18
Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21
Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24
Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27
Chapter 28 Chapter 29 Chapter 30
Chapter 31 Chapter 32 Chapter 33
Chapter 34 Chapter 35 Chapter 36
Chapter 37
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hunny-beann · 4 months
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Desiderium I
Loki Laufeyson x f!Reader
-> Part II
Note: This fic absolutely breaks cannon in multiple ways, but I felt the urge to write this and created it thus lol, so I hope you enjoy regardless (and for my own sanity, we'll just call this an avenger!Loki au).
Synopsis:
Loki is plagued by a dream thrust upon him as punishment during his imprisonment, and finds that even once he regains his freedom, he still can't move past the vision of the life he could have had with you. And when those around him struggle to understand his sorrows, he decides to show them firsthand what he endured while asleep that night, and all that he lost both by waking up, and by making all of the wrong choices for far too long.
Oh, but it's never truly over, is it?
And your sudden reappearance proves that.
Warnings: Angst, mentions of pregnancy
Word Count: 5,057
"Does he ever stop sulking?"
Tony muttered under his breath after sparing a quick glance toward the aesir God of Mischief that sat in the corner of the room, staring into a cloud of green created by his own hand with a type of longing he had worn almost constantly for months now.
At first, many had thought his sullen nature to be a result of his capture and subsequent imprisonment, but even now that he was far more free to roam and do what he pleased (within reason), his somber attitude still had yet to let up.
In fact, some would even swear that it had gotten worse.
The God of Thunder included, and also in particular.
From the beginning, Thor had perhaps been the biggest defender of his younger brother, and of course he had, how could he not be?
But even still, when it came to the questioning of Loki's less than enthusiastic (and at times, borderline concerning) behavior, Thor somehow managed to become even more defensive of his confusing family member and all of the quirks that he seemed to have.
This occasion included.
He turned toward Anthony Edward Stark with a slight frown, a sigh that seemed reserved purely for situations concerning Loki passing his lips,
"All of this has been rather... difficult for him. There is much that he misses about our realm, and even more that he has lost."
Tony rose a brow at that, fighting back a groan at the seemingly constant dramatics of the "Odinson" siblings.
Who would have thought that two gods could be so annoyingly theatrical?
"A lot of people have lost a lot of things, Point Break. Some of them at his hand, in case you need a reminder."
Tony muttered, struggling to find sympathy for the green themed deity sitting across the room, a look of deep longing and sorrow in his gaze as he continued staring into the cloud of his own creation.
Thor sighed again.
"I do not, Stark, nor does my brother. He had a multitude of things revealed to him in dreams delivered by the gods whilst locked away. He is... Not the same."
Tony sighed, shrugging his shoulders as he tried to return his focus toward what he'd been doing before he'd made the mistake of mentioning Loki to his older brother.
"Whatever you say, big guy. Just do me a favor though and ask him if he can practice his daily sulking rituals somewhere else. His whole 'woe is me' vibe makes it a little hard to focus."
Thor sighed again at his comrade's obvious lack of compassion toward his clearly suffering sibling, but he nodded nonetheless.
"I will see what I can do, Stark."
And with that, he was taking familiarly heavy steps toward Loki, each growing more hesitant than the last as he took in the full sight of him.
It was no wonder that Tony found his presence to be so distracting, because in truth, you could all but feel his angst rolling off of him in waves, strong and undeniably present in a manner that almost made the god himself shiver.
It was not easy for the god of mischief, what he was going through, but perhaps even Thor himself had managed to underestimate it.
Perhaps he should have been even more concerned than he already was.
"Loki."
He said stiffly upon his approach, watching as the god in question briefly glanced in his direction in acknowledgement before returning his gaze back to his seidr.
"I sympathize greatly with your sorrows, and I wish truly that I could do away with them for you, but a request has been made for you to better contain your bereavements, if possible, and I think it would be best for you to try."
Thor said calmly, though he could see as plain as day that his words had done no good, a fact made evident by the way that his brother turned to look at him, as if both wounded and infuriated at the very same time.
What a familiar look that was for the mischief god to wear these days.
He stood, green cloud disappearing as he did so, his hands clenched into tight fists at his sides.
"Do you believe somehow that I have not already done all that I can to contain my grief, you blithering fool?"
He all but hissed, anger controlling his words but a deep and pervasive sadness evident in his eyes, allowing the god of thunder to see far beyond the ruse his sibling was attempting to put up.
Loki was hurting, perhaps beyond anything that he had endured before, and Thor was unsure if that could have been made any more clear.
The god of mischief took a step closer, slowly, threateningly, as if he might frighten the being standing before him, the only one present that had ever truly seen the good in him, the angel before the fall.
A trickster to be sure, but the villain that he so desperately tried to make himself out to be? Thor could not see such a thing, not in the eyes of one he had grown up alongside of.
Not in his brother, regardless of blood.
Regardless of what was said or done.
"You haven't the slightest clue what I have endured, and yet you have the gall to request that I reign in my pain, as if it is not all that has been left of me? All that has not been so crudely taken?"
He snarled, coming closer, ignoring the heavy gaze of Anthony Stark as it landed upon him, and choosing to pay no mind to the fact that he had undoubtedly called the others in, a fact made clear by the large number of footfalls that grew nearer and nearer by the second.
Maybe Tony was simply a fool made cautious by what he had seen the god do in the past, or maybe he just wished to not be the only audience for this particular spat.
Either way, it mattered not to Loki.
The god in question was far too tired, far too angry, and far too confused to let such a disrespect as this pass.
If they did not understand, then he would make them, and maybe then they could comprehend the realness, the immense depth and crushing weight of his pain.
The burden he bore.
The reaping of what he had sowed long ago, without even realizing it.
The universe had never been fair, not to him, and it was apparent now that such a truth had persevered from the very start.
Back before his title had meant more than a whisper to him, before he had felt the need to prove he was more.
When there had been so much more kindness in his heart and light in his life.
When there had been hope,
When there had been you.
Thor put his hands up defensively, though how secure he truly felt in spite of this almost entirely symbolic and pleading gesture was made clear by his tone, which was pitying in every sense of the word.
"Calm down, brother, I meant no disrespect. I simply feel a deep worry for you, I do not want to watch you suffer any longer. It is a heavy weight upon me to know that you are so burdened."
He said appealingly, eyes full of a type of plea and concern that, once upon a time, might have caused the god of mischief to think for a moment, and perhaps even halt his actions altogether.
But now was not then, and after all that he had seen, all that was now and could have been, he found that his brother's words only served to make him angrier.
"You feel a heavy weight, do you?"
He said darkly, stalking ever forward, even as Thor backed away slowly with each step, not wishing to see his family member trapped in a cage once again as a result of some petty fight.
There was rage in Loki's eyes now, though it did nothing to cancel out the sadness there.
It was clear what was driving him, but even more evident was how upset the god was about that fact.
He did not like being so controlled by his emotions, resented the way that everyone could tell how he was feeling in spite of how hard he tried to hide it.
He had done his best to conceal his sorrows and this was what he had gotten? A request for more, as if he would not have hidden them away entirely in favor of allowing those who were once his enemies to see his weaknesses? The way that truth had changed him?
It infuriated him to no end.
"Can you even begin to imagine then,"
He started, voice low, but just loud enough so that every avenger who had now entered the room could hear it from where they stood together in silence, watching as Loki stalked ever closer to his brother, hands still clenched at his sides, jaw unfathomably tense, and muscles twitching with a quiet kind of rage.
"What I am feeling?"
He finished viciously.
Thor frowned, voice still full of pity and something akin to longing as he replied, tone still entirely bereft of fear,
"I know only what you have told me, dear brother."
He said, watching as Loki all but scoffed at his words,
"So in that way, yes, I suppose I am capable of imagining what you must feel."
The god of mischief laughed in response to this, a humorless and cold sound that was choked by some long abided pain, some endless suffering that only a god could understand, and that no mere mortal could ever endure and survive.
"I think not."
He snapped angrily, watching as Thor's brow creased in response, not understanding what about his reply had been so terribly wrong that it had brought about such a strong reaction from his sibling.
Loki continued,
"I think that if you could even begin to comprehend what I have seen, what I have lost, you would never even think to make an attempt at consoling or correcting me, nor could you ever deign to imagine believing that the small amounts of my grief witnessed through my behavior could be decreased any further. If you could truly understand, you would know the weight that I carry, and you would see that it could never be lessened, because there is truly no greater grief than that which I am suffering from!"
Thor stood there for a moment, dumbfounded, before finally he spoke up once more, voice slightly smaller, though still not lacking in compassion or empathy.
"Brother, I beg you to help me understand better so I may communicate this suffering of yours to those around us who do not know you as well as I. We are guests here on Midgard, and I cannot allow for you to push this pain of yours onto our hosts so endlessly without solution or a shared understanding in mind. How can you expect anyone to have faith or sympathy for you if you will not tell us what has happened?"
Thor's pleas caused yet another round of laughter to burst forth from the god of mischief, though this one was less pained and a bit more angry, a twinge of eagerness to it that did not spell out anything good, not for Thor nor any of the unwelcome audience present within the room alongside them.
"You wish for me to let them see? For me to grant you understanding?"
Loki hissed out, a familiar and volatile energy filling the room as he began to use his seidr to do just that.
"Loki-"
Thor warned, moving to take a step forward when suddenly, the entire room seemed to disappear beneath his feet, and without warning, he found himself in a place entirely unfamiliar to him, standing amongst his peers in a small crowd that occupied some unseen corner of whatever space this was.
He watched as Tony turned to look at him, frustration and confusion etched into his features and mouth opening to speak just as a familiar voice cut through the silence.
It was Loki, but not the one that those watching had come to know.
No, this was a Loki long forgotten by time and entirely unknown by the avengers present to witness this dream that the god of mischief had once so vaguely described to his brother while in the thralls of his pain.
This was the vision that the gods had shown to the adopted son of Odin during his imprisonment within the Avenger's tower months prior.
This was where his sadness, his grief, and his longing had stemmed from.
And it was clear, as they all watched on, why that may have been.
It was beautiful here, wherever here was.
The sun shone through every window, and this place, clearly a home, was adorned with stunning textiles and masonry, each detail obviously considered and brought to life with such care and intention that it could bring one to tears if they focused on it long enough.
Thankfully for the onlookers though, this would not be necessary, because the Loki in question who stood before them made for quite a distracting sight.
He looked younger here somehow, features untouched by some pervasive strain or anger that had long since gotten to the man that was so well known to them now.
His expression was peaceful, happy, so devoid of the angst or maliciousness that many were used to seeing.
This version of Loki, whoever he was, and whenever he had existed, was one that did not yet know the things that he did now, one that had found something that his truest self had not.
Happiness.
And it was clear, as this version of the god of mischief spoke, where that came from.
"Dearest Starlight, have you the faintest idea of how much I've missed you?"
He muttered into the hair of the woman standing before him, one arm wrapped around her while the other cupped the back of her head gently, lovingly, and with such fondness that it almost hurt to watch
This was a man overcome with, and undoubtedly changed by love.
They could see it in his eyes and the way that they lit up when the woman, whoever she was, moved away slightly to look up at him, and in the way that he pressed his forehead to hers with such love and clearly intentional gentleness.
He adored this person standing before him, and judging by the tears brimming in Thor's blue eyes, she was far more than a simple dream, or someone made up by the mind to have and to hold.
No, this was someone that they had known, perhaps long ago, perhaps yesterday, for the timing itself mattered ever so little.
What mattered instead, was that this individual, whoever she was, meant the world and more to the very person that the onlooking crowd had once believed to be devoid of the organ capable of love and affection.
She was important, and she was special, and above all else, she was seemingly a vast source of grief for the two son's of Odin, though one in particular far more than the other, the latter of which stood amongst them with a sadness that was almost assuredly not for himself evident within his gaze.
Thor may have known this girl, whoever she may be or have been, but his tears were not for his own loss of her, no, they were instead for Loki's. He watched the two of them with such rapt and sad fondness that it was all but impossible to deny that fact.
He adored what the two of them shared, and mourned its absence.
And in truth, the unwelcome onlookers could not help but feel similarly.
This woman was beautiful to be sure, with shining hair and twinkling eyes, and a gentle touch that she laid upon the deity standing before her with such care and devotion.
She smiled up at him lovingly, mouth still curved upward even as she spoke, her reply teasing, but far from mockery, mischievous in a way that was befitting of any love of Loki Laufeyson.
"Just me?"
She asked amusedly, carting her fingers through the god's soft black locks and watching with gentle laughter as he simply rolled his eyes in response before he leaned down to kiss her sweetly without a single word, the arm that was still wrapped around her waist tugging her closer before he finally pulled away a few seconds later, joy obvious within his expression, in spite of her ardent teasing.
"Do not ask me such foolish questions, my dear, or I may just be required to seal your lips against mine for all eternity to keep you quiet."
He murmured with his forehead pressed against hers, his nose brushing against her cheek for a few moments until he pulled back with a sigh,
"I suppose I should change before I make myself at home again, hmm?"
He asked with mock exasperation, tucking a few strands of the woman's hair behind her ear as she laughed in reply, nodding almost immediately.
"That would most certainly make me a happy wife, indeed."
She said, pulling further away from him before walking over to the kitchen area and removing something from the oven,
"Now hurry up and change before dinner gets too cold, foolish prince, or you may just find Thor helping himself to your portion again."
Loki gave an amused glare in response to this, but said nothing more, wandering swiftly down a long and dark hallway until he faded from view entirely.
After this, there was silence for a minute or two, a peaceful and joyous one that was occasionally interrupted by the sound of the woman's gentle humming, or one of a few a small noises from further down the hall, none of which seemed important enough to capture the woman in question's attention.
That being said, as Loki returned, something else did, though it notably grabbed hold of that of the audience as well, who stared on together in shock, though Thor was clearly the most baffled of them all.
For there was Loki Laufeyson, adopted son of Odin, Prince of Asgard, and god of mischief, with a child on his hip, one with hair the very color of his, and eyes that were an exact copy of his own.
The woman standing in the kitchen crossed her arms upon her husband's entrance into the room, raising a brow at him as she sighed and approached the two beings who had just graced her with their presence.
"And what business do you believe our daughter has with being up so late, Mr. Laufeyson?"
She questioned teasingly as she pressed a gentle kiss to the head of the little girl who was being held so affectionately within her father's arms, a sweet burble of laughter escaping her as the woman's lips tickled her skin.
The audience watched on in utter shock as Loki smiled softly at the sight, his shoulders shrugging slightly as he bounced the child, who appeared to be around a year old, upon his hip, arms keeping her steady with a well practiced and easy grace found only within a parent that had been present and involved enough to know their child like the back of their hand.
"I believe she has business with welcoming her dear father home regardless of the hour. Would you disagree, Mrs. Laufeyson?"
He murmured gently as he leaned forward to press a lingering kiss against his wife's lips, smirking at the sight of her reddened cheeks as he pulled away.
The wife in question sputtered for a brief moment before finally responding, glaring slightly up at the god of mischief for his antics, though they were no doubt familiar to her by now, judging by the ring wrapped around her finger and the child she had so plainly bore that sat now upon her husband's hip.
"I suppose not."
She replied gently, watching as Loki placed the child into her high chair, offering a toy of his very own creation to distract her with as he approached his spouse with a rather eager grin.
"No?"
He asked softly as he moved to stand behind her, his hands finding her shoulders and massaging the tense muscles there gently, his smile only growing as she sighed at the feeling and leaned into him with a practiced ease borne clearly of a long nurtured trust.
"How kind of you to see things my way for once, dear wife."
He murmured against the shell of the woman's ear, sending a shiver down her spine even as she rolled her eyes in response to his overly teasing tone and his seemingly ceaseless need to make an attempt at pushing her buttons.
"I wouldn't go as far as to say that, my prince."
She sighed out, still clearly pleased with the feeling of his hands rubbing practiced and efficient circles into her skin,
"I am simply allowing you this one small victory while you may still have it."
The god of mischief smirked upon hearing this, his brow raised and his voice low as he replied,
"Allowing me, hmm? What a benevolent ruler you are, starlight."
He all but purred out, and the woman nodded absently, still clearly wrapped up in the feeling of his hands on her body.
"Aren't I?"
She asked, a smile growing upon her face as she spoke,
"Allowing you to wake up our one year old daughter upon your return before you're forced to cease such childish behaviors once your son arrives in a few months time. How generous of me."
Loki hummed and replaced one of his hands that had been resting upon her shoulder with his chin, allowing his now free hand to travel down to her stomach, pressing against it and providing the opportunity for the onlookers to note for the very first time the way that it was rounded out slightly with child, yet another piece of evidence of the love that they shared.
A love that the Loki Laufeyson that they knew, the one that had been captured, imprisoned, and seemingly rehabilitated, had never known.
A love that he perhaps could have had, if only things had been different.
Slowly, faintly, at the sounds of softening laughter and contented discussions, the scene before everyone faded, and the harsh light of the tower persisted once more, blinding them all sharply in a way that the softness of the vision had not managed.
And there, before all of them, stood Loki, looking more than a little haggard with his hair out of place and his eyes brimming with tears.
It was Thor who spoke first.
"It was that which you saw, brother?"
He asked sympathetically, only for Loki to shake his head in response, tone far less angry and much more despondent as he spoke.
The sight of that vision, that memory of a dream delivered unto him one harsh evening to teach him some horrible lesson, had clearly hurt him far more than he wished to let on, and perhaps even more than he had thought it would.
"No."
He said,
"What I saw was far worse, I'm afraid."
Thor's eyebrows creased with both concern and confusion,
"Worse? Brother, I do not-"
"I had entire life with her, Thor."
Loki murmured gently, staring down at his own two shaking hands as if in disbelief that they belonged to him at all,
"I-I had thought truly that everything, all of this suffering and self-hatred had been the real dream all along, and that my time with her, beginning from back when we were all just children again, was reality."
He looked into his brother's eyes then, and allowed him to see the pain there, the sadness and longing for a life he had once believed himself to have lived, a life where he had chosen differently, and found better.
"I did everything the very same as in this lifetime, except instead of choosing power, or some poorly perceived form of acceptance at the hands of our father, I chose her every single time. I married her, brother, stood at the altar and watched her come to me, watched her be granted her rightful immortality at my side, built a house with her, for her, gave her a daughter, and a son, and many other children who I cannot bear to think about because I am in ruin over the fact that they were never real."
He paused, chest heaving, eyes never leaving those of his brother before finally, he continued,
"I know their names, Thor."
He choked out,
"The names of my children, every son and daughter born with some combination of my eyes and her smile, or her hair and my nose. I know their favorite foods, the toy they prefer over all of the rest, and the song that their mother would sing to put them to sleep the fastest."
His tears were beginning to run now, though if Loki noticed, he did not move to wipe them away or to hide them.
"I know everything about them, and yet they are not here, never were, and never will be, and it feels like I have lost all that I ever deigned to love. My wife, my children, a version of myself that I did not loathe, they are all lost to me, and I have died a thousand deaths for every waking moment spent without them by my side."
Thor's own eyes had grown teary now, and he stepped forward slowly, his arm outstretched, as if hoping to reach into his brother and take this pain away with his bare hands alone.
"Dear brother, forgive me."
He said softly, voice shaky in a way that was so very uncharacteristic of him,
"I did not know, I swear it."
Loki shook his head, some shadow of a smile, pained and without any semblance of joy finding his face,
"I know, Thor."
He said quietly,
"But do not waste your apologies on me. It is not your fault for not truly knowing, but mine for believing I could have her back again. She is gone, and I should have known that I could only ever have her in dreams."
Thor opened his mouth to speak, his expression flooded with sorrow, only to find that there was nothing that he could say.
The bridge to you was one that his brother had burned a long time ago, which had been lying in embers since.
Was he not right that you were largely gone from him? A memory of perhaps undeserved yet so very innocent love that he had shut out in order to keep moving forward until the gods had thrust what the two of you could have been upon him so cruelly?
It had been ages now, since Loki had seen or heard of you, and Thor was ashamed to admit that he too had locked you away in memory in favor of moving forward.
A childhood playmate, a most loyal friend far past adulthood, the once almost-lover of his mischievous younger brother, you were a great many things to him, and yet he could scarcely bear to think of you now.
Betrayal was what he had once thought of whenever you came to mind, but now, so many years later, he could see that you had never been the one to betray.
It had been him all along, him and Loki, albeit for two differing reasons.
Either way, the little witch they had once both known so fondly had been long dead to them for many moons now, until the very sight of you so happy, so alive, in spite of the fact that such a vision was a dream brought on by some vengeful deity, sent you careening back into their minds once more.
Where were you now? How had you fared without them, and possibly without your family as well? Were you even alive at all, after all of this time with only a witchling's feeble immortality to keep you alive rather than the godly kind that Loki had helped to bestow upon you within his dream?
Thor shook off these thoughts almost as quickly as they came, and watched on helplessly as Loki began to make his way toward the exit, eyes glued to the ground to avoid making eye contact with the small group of Avengers who had continued to watch on in surprise.
And perhaps, one of them may have piped up to say something, anything to provide comfort to the once so pesky god, had it not been for the sudden shift in the air, followed shortly thereafter by the very shredding of reality itself, as a tear opened up on the far wall, revealing a dark shimmering swirl of colors and lights that soon spat out a figure adorned in clothing that may have appeared foreign to any Midgardian, but was so very familiar to the one aesir god who stared on in utter shock.
Loki, on the other hand, seemed either entirely unaware of the strange circumstance occurring behind him, or uncaring of it, as he continued on his quest to leave the room entirely.
That is, until a voice so familiar that it all but snapped his heart in two called out to him.
"L-Loki?"
It asked weakly, strained and soft, but just barely loud enough to reach him where he stood.
The average man may have froze up entirely, disbelieving their own ears and blaming their minds for playing such cruel tricks on them, but Loki was no average man, and he did not believe his mind capable of making such a mistake.
He knew what he had heard.
He turned around instantly, already wide eyes growing wider when he found you on the floor there, an old cloak of his wrapped tightly around your shoulders.
"Starlight?"
He breathed out in utter disbelief, making his way over in just a few long and intentional strides before he all but collapsed to his knees in front of you.
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lokisgoodgirl · 11 months
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The Prince is Dead [Asgard!Loki x Reader]
A link to my Masterlist is HERE Summary: Shaken by Loki's death on Svartálfheim, you confront the one you blame the most. Odin. (w/c 1.9k) Warnings: Angst. Set between TDW and Ragnarok. Mentions of death. Heartbreak. Violent imagery. Melt to fluff (implied)
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The sun still rose in the North and set in the South, the way it always did. Clattering swords rang from the training ground, each echo of distant laughter another stake through your chest. But Asgard's golden turrets would still shine garishly in the morning light. As ever it was, so it shall be.
You wrapped a thin shawl tighter around your arms. The Prince is dead, you thought, biting back a sigh. The majestic façade was dulled behind the drape of your mourning veil, grey and lifeless. Or perhaps, you just finally saw things as they truly were.
Five moons had since risen and ebbed while you had lain half-alive in your chambers. Sleep descended in snatches, an unwelcome friend. And of course, you had dreamt of him.
His shadowed smile glancing back as he led you through winding palace paths. His face turned to the ceiling in the bed you shared, frozen in anguish. Bloodless with deep blue veins wound in spider patterns across lifeless cheeks. Or his kiss fastening to your own, a loving whisper of your name on warm lips as he melted into you. When you would wake, that dream was the worst of all.
The Prince is dead, a guard had told you with no emotion. With no sympathy. You had waited until he had retreated to sink to your knees, body racking with silent, violent sobs. No one had seen you cry, though. Loki would have approved.
You assumed that your place within the palace was forfeit. By tradition, you should have been removed immediately. Perhaps Thor had intervened to allow a period of mourning. If he had, it would be the one decent thing he's ever done. You pondered that thought bitterly for a moment, wishing he'd used that sliver of kindness to bring Loki's body home instead.
But either way, it didn't matter now.
You inhaled shakily while nervous fingers wound through the thick fabric of your skirts. To anyone else, they would look black. But in truth they were the deepest, darkest green. A waft of fragrant spice rolled on the wind across the balustrade from the markets, heating the cool air. Gods, how you missed him.
The anger, you would admit, had taken you by surprise. When your face wasn't buried in Loki's pillow, inhaling his waning scent between shuddering tears - it was anger. Only that.
It was anger that had brought the fine Asgardian sculptures in your rooms to their undignified end. Anger that fuelled the plot which burned and blossomed in your mind while shadows danced the walls. Anger that urged to you don silken armour this morning, to parade yourself as bait.
It was anger that kept your head high while you rode the whispers following you like smoke. Anger, you had found, was more of a comfort than remembering. A locket bearing Loki's initial hid beneath your bodice, blossoms from the tree beneath which he had first kissed you preserved inside. A gift. One of his prize daggers was strapped to your thigh, and with every step to your final destination, the cool blade kissed your skin.
Your fingertips steadied on the balustrade wall as a ceremonial clatter of guards approached. Eyes fixed on the old town, you composed yourself. The breeze made the dark veil flutter. There was a single heavy clang as twenty spears hit the marble floor in unison. A growl of stand back broke the heavy silence. The guards complied.
"Why do you mourn him so?" a voice rasped. "You are finally free."
The King's words were thick as he rustled beside your shoulder. Beneath the veil, your frown deepened. "Even from you Allfather, I would expect more sensitivity." you muttered. Odin drew up to his full height, observing the spread of his kingdom with a sanctimonious smirk. Patience, you thought. The absence of your bow was treasonous, and it would have been noted. He let out a forced laugh, meaty hands clasping behind his back. "I expect you may have thought that you loved him. But you did not know him as I did."
"You're right, I didn't."
It was surprising how easily the words came. Strong and clear and crisp. "I knew his heart."
Odin chuckled. "His heart," he mocked. "That you think he had one betrays your naivety. Go, now. Be free."
Bravery welled in your belly like a swollen river, pushing a prick of tears to your eyes. You felt like you might burst. You were suddenly glad the old fuck couldn't see your face.
Patience.
With a god, time was something that could be counted on. Or, it should be. Time to grow and love and to be free. That was the plan for you and Loki. But now, time stretched before you like an endless, lonley void. A sentence. Odin and his arrogance had seen to that.
"You forget yourself Odin, son of Bor," you said; and for a moment, he looked genuinely shocked. Or is he impressed, you thought fleetingly.
"You lost a son-"
You raised a hand as his cracked lips began to move in predictable denial. "A son." you repeated firmly.
The word hung thick between you. "Asgard lost not just a Prince, it lost a protector. The one that shielded them from this palace and its ruler's whims."
Odin was silent.
"And I lost-"
A lump rose in your throat. Everything.
"I know what you lost, " the King spat. "The chance to be queen by the unsurper's side once he had slain the true heir. The chance to wallow in finery and filth encrusted sheets while that disgraced Jotun defiled you at any time of the day or night. Plotting."
You shook your head. And you couldn't help it. You laughed.
"For all your years, you know nothing. Nothing about truth, or destiny, or love. I see that now-"
"Love," Odin scoffed, cutting in." If you loved him, you were the only one who ever did. "
"I love him still," you murmured, turning towards the rolling mountains. Your fingers played at the hilt of the dagger through the slit in your gown. "Forget him." Odin sniffed, waving a hand. "You will be the better for it, we all will."
His loaded dismissal blew away any lingering doubt.
Loki's face flashed behind your eyelids, a vision of the day he had finally let you in to his solitary world. Golden specks of dust had swirled within a single beam of amber light cutting through the healing room. He had sat perched on a single bed, elbows resting on his knees. Despite the lengthy battle, his skin glowed luminous in the dying song of day. Deep wounds streaked across his stomach and ribs and back, purple bruises marring his skin like the darkest storm-clouds. His leather armour lay in a ragged pile by his feet. Blood crept from its crevices, seeping into the cracks of the stone floor.
You had cried then, too. Only once.
"It will heal," he had said, cupping your cheek with a strained smile. "Do not waste your worry."
"I can't help it," you'd replied, tracing your fingertips over a gash in his side. Loki had winced. As you watched, the skin began to stretch and meld millimetre by millimetre. "You shall have to become more stoic if you are to be my wife one day," Loki smiled. There was a pause, before he frowned. "Does it make you feel better? The worry?"
"Yes," you had answered truthfully. You curled a lock of damp hair behind his ear. Someone has to worry for you, you'd thought. Loki smiled again. "Then I'll allow it," he murmured softly, before pressing a kiss to your forehead. And he did.
A silent tear rolled down your cheek as your fingers crept around the daggers hilt. The peace of the realm would soon be broken. Wails of anguish would rinse the clouds, public displays of grief filling the air with heavy sighs and glowing orbs. It should have been allowed for your love, but it wasn't. Asgard should be in mourning, and soon it would be- you would make sure of that. You only wished you would be there to see it.
"He loved you all, and I'll never know why," you said solemnly, heat flushing your cheeks. "It was never deserved, never appreciated. Especially not by you." The final word darted like venom between your teeth.
Odin laughed. It made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.
"I never did understand him," he crooned, not deigning to look at you. The dagger slid from it's hold against your thigh. "You never tried." you whispered.
In the briefest of moments, you whipped the dagger with trained precision. The thin blade rested beneath the god's chin, digging into soft, fat flesh. From behind, the guards would see nothing.
"Ah," the Allfather hummed, tilting his head back ever so slightly. His stance never changed. "I commend your audacity my dear. Truly. But you see, I am not the monster that you think I am."
Something in his tone made you pause. You had been fully prepared to sink Loki's dagger into his throat without mercy. Ready to hear the wet gurgle of breath fighting blood. Escaping retribution from this was not an option, but you didn't want it. You wanted to see the look on Odin's face as the lights went out. You wanted to see his one staring eye glaze to the heavens as life left him. For him to know with his dying rattle that someone cared enough for Loki of Asgard to avenge him, no matter the cost.
"You are a monster," you panted through gritted teeth. An unnerving smile began to crawl across Odin's lips. "True," he said coyly. "But not the one you think I am."
Your eye twitched, taking in the opaque blue of his stare that suddenly sparkled with more life than you had seen in years. Your stomach churned, the hand holding the blade beginning to tremble.
"With my dagger too, how poetic," Odin whispered with a smirk.
You gasped, jumping back as the blade tumbled towards the ground. It disappeared in a flash of seidr before hitting the marble.
It can't be-
"Guards!" the Allfather thundered, straightening as they resumed their posts. "Show the Lady to my private chambers. There are matters regarding Prince Loki's memorial we must urgently discuss."
You saw the guards throw confused glances to one another as you stood slack-jawed beneath the veil. Odin raised your hand, placing a chaste kiss to your knuckles.
"It will heal," he murmured against your skin, before letting the hand fall limply to your side. The King leant closer, the ghost of his breath sending shivers down your spine. "Do not waste your worry."
The familiar words ricochet between your ears, heart thumping as you followed the jostling procession across the balustrade. It was all you could do not to faint. The implications, if your mind did not play tricks, were too vast.
So you decided to focus on the gait of the King as you placed one foot in front of the other. On the swagger that had not been there when you last spoke weeks before. As if the weight of another’s passion still hung between his thighs. He would not part with that. You smiled, feeling it grow as you watched the unmistakable way his shoulders swayed back and forth with each long stride. The undeniable spring in his step. Singularly focused, like another you had known. It held a promise. A hope.
It was a ten minute walk to the King's chambers.
So you focused on the sway of his shoulders. On the mischievous spring in his step. Only that.
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A/N - I wrote this on the back of a bus in Morocco and haven't messed with it much - i do like the concept though, hope you do too! Thanks to @lokischambermaid for her enthusiasm when I first mentioned it a while back :) Love you! x If you want to see what 'after' might look like - check out Praise Him (smut) which is also based on this concept :) It's one of my earlier fics though and it shows 😂
Tags @meowmeow-motherfucker @muddyorbsblr @imalovernotahater @avengersalways @littledark11 @lokikissesmyforehead @simplyholl @fictive-sl0th @thedistractedagglomeration @loveroflokiforpoeticjustice @coldnique @holdmytesseract @jaidenhawke @silverfire475 @vbecker10 @imalovernotahater @thomase1 @morriggannlostinfandoms @marygoddessofmischief @sebstanwhore @xorpsbane @peacefulpianist @maple-seed @yelkmelk @wheredafandomat @mistress-ofmagic @infinitystoner @goblingirlsarah @ozymdias @peaches1958 @your-taste-on-my-lips @lokidokieokie @kikster606 @peachyjinx @tbhiddlestan83 @trickster-maiden @skymoonandstardust @justjoanne242 @sidepartskinnyjeans @ladyofthestayingpower @wolfmoonmusic @brittbax @smolvenger @lunarnights95 @superficialdomina @kaleenjackson @fictional-hooman @psychospore @littlespaceyelf
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gettinshiggywithit · 3 months
Text
𝐀𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬
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Summary: In which you find out loki’s secret and he fears your reaction.
Pairing: loki x reader
Genre: fluff ,maybe a hintt of angst
W/c: 928
A/N: saw someone talking abt jotun loki and my brain went brrrrr.Wrote this at 5/6 in the morning on 0 sleep so apologies in advance!If yall liked it id love to hear your thoughts
Marvel MasterList
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A frost giant.unbelievable.
Loki stood in odin’s vault,hands firmly gripping the handles of the casket. He watched as his skin changed to an icy blue,an equally icy chill running down his spine. The all father had conveniently fallen into the odin-sleep.
“Leaving me when i need him…typical” he said to himself. It wasn’t like he had an audience and with him being the acting ruler,and his mother being in his ‘father’s’ chambers, he needn’t fear intrusion.
The only person aware of his little secret,who was awake anyway, was his mother and he intended to keep it that way.for as long as he could.
Eliminating thor would guarantee him the throne and by destroying jotunheim,he’d garner enough of the public’s love to hopefully keep his throne,should his secret come to light.
‘Does heimdall know?’ He wondered to himself.
‘No matter,He can be dealt with if necessary”
Loki was so lost in thought that he missed the,
“There you are!” You huffed out.
You marched on upto him and noticed he wasnt…himself.
At this sudden revalation, you started taking quieter,more measured steps towards the boyfriend-shaped figure in front of you.
You let out a tentative “loki?” To which he jolted, his hands immediately letting go of the casket and his now-red eyes staring at you with both surprise and slight fear. Not fear of you,but the fear of being discovered.
“Y/n, dont…dont do that.” He said letting out a breath he didn't know he’d been holding in. And when you didn’t reply, instead merely staring at him in bewilderment, he suddenly remembered how he looked. He stumbled backwards, his hands flying to brace himself against the stand of the artefact behind him.
His finger gently brushed against the casket and the fading blue returned once again.
Noticing this, he pulled his hands to his front.clasping them and lookin on at you,awaiting your reaction.
What would you do? Yell at him? Leave him? Threaten to tell the rest of asgard?
All the worst possibilities ran around his head and he began to tear up.
He was broken out of his turbulant thoughts by your hand brushing against his cheek.
He was shocked, to say the least.
Of all the reactions he’d thought up,this wasnt one.
He leaned into your touch,fearing this would be the last time he would feel it,your soft cold hand against his wretched skin.
“What is this loki?” You ask in a whisper,staring at him with not fear,not anger,but wonder and curiosity.
You were now stood quite close to eachother not impossibly so, but quite.
“I-“
“Were you cursed?”
“In a manner of speaking…y-”
“Does it hurt?”
You knew what he was,you’d seen frost giants before so it wasn’t illiteracy that made you disregard his current state.
You really were asking him if he was okay as he stood before you, a blue monster,kin to those you’d fantasised about killing in your youth…
Was this real?
He needed to know it was,so he spelled it out for you,
“Y/N,im a Frost giant.”
He let out in a voice laden with melancholy,regret and was that fear you heard?
“I know” you merely replied as you traced the patterns on his skin.
At this he pulled your hand away and held it.
“What do you mean you know?! Y/N im a monster! Dont you understand!”
Your expression shifted to one of annoyance,another unforseen reaction.
“I understand quite clearly loki.”
“Then why haven’t you-”
“Why haven’t i run out screaming? Cursing you? Why havent i tried to kill you?”
His silence told you that was exactly what he was about to ask, more or less.
You sighed before stepping towards him and placing his hand on your shoulder,he flinched but didn't move otherwise.
You took this as your go-ahead and wrapped him in a hug.
You stayed there for a good three minutes in silence before saying,
“Loki,i dont give a single ratatosk whisker if you’re a jotun.i love you.”
You pulled away at that to look him in the eyes and saw the tears forming there.
As they fell from his eyes,you caught them with your thumb and placed in on tongue.
Now it was his turn to look at you in confusion.
You waited a beat before saying, “for a jotun you cry asgardian tears.”
He smiled at that,scoffing at your antics.
“You’re ridiculous”
“Yeah well im also yours so get used to it” you said as you went in for another hug and this time he hugged back holding you like you were the most precious thing in all the nine realms,and to him,you were.
“Are you sure?” He whispered out,almost like he hoped you wouldnt hear.
“Always.And never forget it” you said,pressing a soft kiss to his lips which had him chasing yours as you pulled away.
“Why did you come down here anyway?” He asked finally realising it was rather odd for you to have come to the artefacts vault;unless there was a purpose for your visit that is.
“Ah yes, Frigga was calling you.” You said pulling away and pulling him by the arm towards the exit.
“Alright then” he said as he let you drag him out of the chamber that held his secrets. You really were something else,and he’d never been more grateful for anyone in his entire life.
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Tag list(open):- @diagonal-queen
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mischievousstuff · 5 months
Text
Lose you twice
Loki x reader
Chapter 3: End of file
Story summary: After losing the love of your life to the mad titan, it seemed like there was no hope for the future. That is, until a rather interesting idea flashes your mind. In this game of love and war, will you be able to bring the love of your life back, or will you lose him twice, because this time? Thanos won't be the problem.
Chapter summary: TVA. Hideous. Loki swore that he would burn this place to the ground. That is, until a woman he’s never seen in his life before suddenly appears in his memories. Who is she?
Warnings: Mentions of death
Word count: 2730
A/N: New chapter, yay! I wanted to thank you all for the support and I hope you’re liking the story so far <3 This chapter will be from Loki’s POV so stay tuned for more ;)
•Masterlist•
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(pic isn’t mine!)
*Some time earlier*
Loki was sitting inside the TVA interrogation room. What is this place? He didn’t know what he has gotten himself into. One minute, he was with the gruesome Avengers, the tesseract in his possession, and the next, he was here. In some supposed Time Variance Authority, where time apparently didn’t matter. It was all too much for him to take and he knew that he needed to find a way out of this Hel.
Suddenly, Mobius walked in with two canes of coke as he took a seat by the table as well. “Drink?” Mobius offered, and Loki was obviously not up for these games as he crossed his arms and shot Mobius a deadly glare. What does a drink have to do with anything? He was a god, and a Frost Giant at that, not a human who needed something like soda for comfort. He was starting to get more and more angry, but he tried to control it the best he could.
“No. What do you want?”
Mobius shrugged, taking a sip of his drink as he put it down on the table, shifting his attention on the projector in front of them.
“I’m here to help you, Loki. Now, you better sit back because this is going to be a long ride. This - Right here-“ Mobius pointed at the projector in front of them. “Your whole life is on this file. Now, I’m sure you’d like to see every event that happens to you in the future, wouldn’t you?” Mobius says, glancing at Loki.
At the mention of his whole life being in that file, he looked at Mobius confused for a second. How could these people know his entire life? Loki then saw that the projection was playing on the screen and thought it might be wise to take a look at it. He sat back and watched, waiting for the inevitable. What was soon to be shown might actually drive him insane.
Loki’s eyes narrowed as he saw the Avengers and himself on the screen.
“And I remember. I was there. Anything else?” Loki stated, arms still crossed over his chest as he shifted his attention on Mobius who had a smug expression on his face.
“It's funny, for someone born to rule, you sure do lose a lot. You might even say it's in your nature.” Mobius replied, taking another sip of his drink.
“You know, things didn't turn out so well for the last person who said that to me.” Loki glared, not in the mood for whatever this was.
“Oh, yeah, Phil Coulson. Didn't the Avengers come together to literally avenge him by defeating you?” Mobius quipped, placing his soda can down on the table as the projector rolled. Loki stayed silent.
“Do you enjoy hurting people? Making them feel small? Making them feel afraid?” Mobius asked, eyes narrowed at Loki.
“Your games don't frighten me.” Loki protested.
“Making them feel little?” Mobius ignored him.
“I don't have to play this game. I'm a god.” Loki growled, shifting in his seat as he glanced between Mobius and the projector.
“If you hadn't picked up the Tesseract, you would have been taken to a cell on Asgard.” Mobius replied as he clicked on the projector, a new video coming up as Loki looked at it. On the screen, Loki was seen to be in a cell deep in the dungeons of Asgard. Then, his mother showed up.
“And am I not your mother?” Her voice could be heard trough the screen as Loki shifted uncomfortably in his seat, looking intently at the projector.
“You’re not.” Loki could hear himself say, something tugging at his heart. Then Mobius speaks up.
“And then the Dark Elves attack the palace, and you think you send them to Thor, but instead, you send them..” Mobius says, speeding up the video. As Loki connects the dots, a scene of Frigga comes up, her lifeless body laying on the ground of Asgard’s palace. Loki’s breath shudders as the scene unfolds before him.
“Where do you have her? Where is she?” Loki demands, voice raising.
“You lead them right to her.” Mobius answers, looking intently at him as Loki scoffs, tears pricking at his eyes. Loki yelled in anger as he continued to look at Frigga on the screen. This was too much for him to take. To be told that his mother was going to die, and there was nothing he could do to prevent it. “I don't believe you. You're lying. It's not true.” Loki shook his head.
“It is true. That's the proper flow of time, and it happens again and again and again because it's supposed to, because it has to. The TVA makes sure of it.” Mobius tries to reason him, but unsuccessful.
“Where is she? I’ll kill you.” Loki growls, getting up as he pulls at the hideous collar wrapped around his neck, kicking the chair he was just sitting on in both frustration and pain. n
Suddenly, Mobius picked up an instrument from his pocket, clicking a button on it and, before you knew it, Loki was sat in the chair again. As he seemed to calm down after a while, they resumed with watching the project. Now, this was strange for Loki because a person - a woman that he had never seen in his long life before appeared. She… Was smiling at him? Loki’s brows furrowed. Then another scene came up. It was the two of them, and they were on what seemed to be a beach. It was night and they were walking, feet bare as water slowly splashed against them. They- Was Loki holding hands with this woman? Now, he was confused.
Loki looked at the screen, shocked to see who he was apparently with. The woman seemed familiar somehow, even if he couldn’t pinpoint exactly why that was. It seemed that they were quite close judging by their hand holding. It was so strange seeing himself in another light, one that didn’t reflect his usual selfish ways.
“This… How is this possible? I don’t remember any of this. I certainly never met this woman. Who is she?” Loki asked, brows furrowed in confusion.
“Ah.. That.. Is Y/N.” Mobius said as another scene came up. This time, Loki and.. Well, apparently Y/N were in the kitchen. It seemed that they were baking something, she had dough all over her face. She threw some at Loki too and that’s when he started chasing her around the kitchen island, laughter echoing trough the projector. He seemed.. Happy. At peace. Loki watched himself and Y/N on the kitchen island, laughing together in a moment of pure joy. It was surreal. He was never this happy. Was it possible that the god of mischief was able to find love? He never allowed himself to get close to anyone, except for a quick tryst here or there, but he never felt like this. It was a weird feeling that made his heart skip a beat. He needed to know more, so he turned to Mobius.
“Who is she, Mobius? You have to tell me.” Loki demanded again.
“I like her. You know, she was one of the few people who saw the good in you. She changed you. Saw you for who you were. Helped you trough a lot, like.. Here, for example.”
Mobius clicked the projector and another scene came up. The woman - Y/N and Loki were in a room, which he only could guess was their shared room. She reached up, cupping his cheeks as Loki placed his hands on hers. The moment seemed intimate and it was something Loki never felt before. Then, he heard her voice for the first time since he watched this whole damn thing. It was quiet, soft and tender as she spoke to him.
“Loki, you’re not a monster. You never were. So please, don’t push me away. When I told you I loved you - I meant it. I meant I love all of you. The good and the bad, though there’s not a single bad thing about you in my eyes. So please, please, don’t push me away. I’m here, regardless of the pain.” She whispered and it almost soothed the Loki who was sitting and only watching this scene unfold on the screen. Almost.
As Y/N’s voice filled his ears for the first time, Loki’s body went numb as a strange feeling washed over him. To be loved by someone. What a thing that must be. But… Could he really be loved by someone? His entire life up until now had only been fueled by lies, deceit, and pain. He always thought it was impossible to be loved.
“We.. We were in love?” Loki muttered, glancing at Mobius, eyes glossy for some reason. Mobius nodded, the projector still going.
Next scene that came up was different than the rest. The two of them were in the kitchen again, it must’ve been late - Loki thought as the room was dimly lit. She was leaned in his arms and soft music could be heard from somewhere. They were slow dancing in the kitchen. Y/N’s head was resting against Loki’s shoulder as they slowly swayed to the sound of the music coming from the radio. Suddenly, Y/N lifted her head as she looked up at him, a soft and warm smile on her face as she looked at Loki.
Loki watched it all, and his heart tugged. He didn’t know at what though. He had nothing to miss, to want. None of this happened to him. But then, he saw himself. He looked so.. Content? The look he had on his face as he looked at the woman - Y/N. A smile. He couldn’t remember when was the last time he truly smiled, and as he watched the moments with Y/N tonight, he was only smiling. Nothing else. Then, he hears himself speak up on the projector.
“I love you.” He hears himself say. His heart raced as he heard himself say those three words. Not once in his life had he said them to anyone before. Was this what it felt like to be in love? To love someone so much you wanted to hold them forever? Loki was beginning to see what all the fuss was about. His eyes grew watery as he watched these scenes. Could this all be real? Is this the future waiting for him somewhere out there?
Loki looked at Mobius as the scene continued. As much as he was enjoying seeing these happy moments with Y/N, there was a small part of him that was growing worried. He wanted to enjoy the moment, but he needed answers first.
“So… What happened to us?” He couldn’t help but ask, the curiosity and worry finally getting the best of him. He couldn’t wait any longer.
At this, Mobius sighed as he clicked the projector again.
A scene came up. Not a pleasant one. Loki was with Thor and Y/N was there as well. Then, he saw it. Thanos - The mad titan, the mad titan who mind controlled him and made him try and take over New York, Midgard. Everything. Loki could feel his heart pick up its speed as he continued watching the moment in fear, his stomach turning in just the thought of seeing the mad titan.
Loki tried to attack Thanos with his dagger, unsuccessful. The Titan lifted him up, chocking him as Loki gasped. This can’t be happening, no. This isn’t the way things had to end. Then, he heard a scream on the projector and Y/N came into view.
“No! Please - I beg of you! Take me, take me instead just please leave him alone! Please!” Y/N screamed hopelessly, tears streaming down her cheeks, she looked so helpless and Loki’s heart tugged again. Thanos only smirked cruelly as he responded.
“How adorable. A mortal, and.. A supposed god. You say you’re immortal. Should we test that?” The titan spoke up, and before Loki knew it, his life was ending before his eyes. He heard himself manage to croak out a helpless
“I love you.”
And then, he died. Just like that. Loki gasped as he got up from the chair, unable to pry his eyes away from the screen as the scene went on.
Y/N screamed, helpless. She managed to go near his body as she hugged him helplessly, sobbing.
“Please come back to me, please. Don’t leave me, you promised!” She pleaded. Then, Thor managed to pull her away as the planet was about to be destroyed.
“No, Thor! We- We can’t just leave him here! No! I love him!” She screamed between her sobs and the projector suddenly went blank, the end of file.
Loki stood there in pure shock as the entire world seemingly came crashing down around him. In a matter of minutes, the future he saw himself in was… Gone. He was devastated by what he had just seen. To see himself find love, to find happiness… Only for it to be ripped away from him so quickly. It was the epitome of misery. To feel such joy and then have it stripped away like that.
Suddenly, the doors of the interrogation room opened and agent B-15, as Loki grown to know, walked in, making both Loki and Mobius look at her. She spoke up.
“Mobius, you better come and see this.” She said, deciding to wait for him outside as he took his things, turning to look at Loki.
“Just stay here, okay? I’ll tell you everything when I come back just don’t go anywhere.”
Mobius left, leaving Loki no space to say something back to him as the doors of the room closed, leaving him all alone. Loki sighed, running a hand trough his hair as he sat back down, looking at the projector. Then, he decided to turn it on again, to see if there were any more memories that he didn’t see in there. He was desperate to find out if more memories existed, if there was a shred of hope for him to meet this strange woman. If everything he saw was real, then he wanted the full version of his life with… Y/N. He wanted all of it.
The scene that came up showed Loki and Y/N in what seemed to be a living room. Loki’s arm was around her, a peaceful expression on his face. They seemed to be relaxing on a couch, watching a movie together. It was hard to make out exactly what was happening, but it seemed to be a quiet moment together. Loki was taking in every second of it, enjoying the peace and quiet he felt while with Y/N. Something he didn’t know he could ever feel until he saw all of this.
After a few moments, the doors burst open and someone walks in. Loki, thinking that it was Mobius, paid no attention to it, his eyes still trained on the screen of the projector, until someone spoke up. A voice, a voice that he has grown to be familiar with in the last half an hour. The voice that made every hair on his skin stand. Loki’s head whipped to the sound of the voice as he immediately stood up. Hands shaking, his heart beating like a drum. Loki was speechless. There in the flesh, standing before him, was the woman who was just in his memories with him. The woman that made him feel loved, made him feel worthy. It was a lot to take in and Loki wasn’t even sure what to do. Should he go over to her? Tell her everything that happened? Or should he just stay where he was? He was unsure, his feet were frozen. And when she looked up, her eyes, full with fear and something else locking with his, made his legs almost give out. Her lip trembled, Loki noticed and suddenly he had the urge to come closer and soothe the trembling pair of mouth. And when she spoke up, he knew he was done for.
“Loki?”
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wheredafandomat · 10 months
Text
Selfish kind of love
Avenger! Loki x female reader
18+ | Angsty smutty thing that you don’t plan you just continue writing and end up surprised at the end too 😂
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“Sorry, if you’ll just excuse me for a moment.” You spoke politely to your date whose name you felt rude to ask for again as you stood up from your chair.
“Of course.” He answered as you smiled curtly before making your way to the restroom before making a beeline to the exit when you were sure he was no longer looking at you. Angrily, you stormed into the alley next to the restaurant.
“Loki! Loki! I know you’re here, just show yourself.” You shouted out, furious that Loki had interrupted your date. Moments later, you felt him behind you as you quickly spun to face him. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” You accused, poking his chest with your finger.
“Ensuring you weren't on a date with an oddball” he answered, seemingly amused by your outrage “who I now know isn’t an oddball by the way, just very very dull.”
“Loki.” You gasped.
“He’s very boring y/n, and here I was thinking you liked your men a little more stimulating, callous.” He smirked, causing you to roll your eyes.
“Why do you even care? What does it matter to you who I date?”
“I don’t and it doesn’t.” He lied, stepping closer towards you until your bodies were pretty much touching. “I just—” he began, closing his mouth as he looked down at you, eyes traveling across the exposed skin of your neck, your chest, the beating of your heart before settling on your eyes “you look very nice tonight is all.”
“That’s it? You stalk me and my date to compliment me” you huffed “Loki just go, please.”
“Okay.” He uttered in response, both of you standing still as you looked at one another.
“Go.” You repeated, just above a whisper this time as you both continued falling into the pools of one another’s eyes.
“No.” He answered, pressing his lips to yours. You reciprocated the kiss, your lips parting as his tongue slipped past them. His hands claimed your body as he pinned you to the wall, his hand on your back softening the impact. You kissed each other messily, feverishly, barely breaking for breath as Loki pressed his hips against yours. His lips left yours, choosing to explore your neck instead as you rested your head back against the wall. You could feel him hardening as he pressed his bulge against you, lips finding yours again. His hands moved down the back of your body, squeezing your ass before they reached the back of your thighs. He pulled you up, positioning himself between your legs as he continued kissing you. His hand ventured between your thighs before you moaned, feeling his fingers slide beneath your panties before circling your clit. You were thankful you were in a dress as he continued his movements against your clit whilst sucking your tongue reminding you of all the times he had performed that same action only lower. Moments later, he was freeing his erection before guiding himself to your slick entrance and thrusting inside. You felt every ridge and every vein as he entered you deeper, filling you completely. He barely gave you time to adjust to his size before he was moving in and out of you, his cock already coated in your arousal. The back of your dress rode up a little as you moved against the wall, Loki fucking into you. He sped his movements, trying to bite down his own guttural moans as you fucked in the alley like foxes.
“I should have said before but—” he spoke, gritting his teeth as he thrusted deeper before pausing “I love you.” He finished, looking at you.
“You’re not in love with me Loki Laufeyson” you began, moving his hair out of his face “you’re in love with the version of me you get to fuck. It’s not love, it’s lust. We’ll never be more than this, back alley hookups and sneaking around.” You finished.
“You’re wrong.” He insisted, pulling out of you before thrusting deeply again making you hiss in pleasure. “I just told you I love you.” He argued, pulling out and thrusting in again.
“Fuckk.” You moaned.
“The least you could do is indulge me for a moment.”
“H-how?” You stuttered, swimming in bliss.
“Say it back, even if you don’t mean it, even if this is all we are.” He answered, circling his hips, grinding into you.
“Fine—I—ughh” you moaned, the new sensation leaving you speechless.
“Go on.” Loki smirked, still grinding into you.
“Gosh, that feels really good.” You near whimpered, Loki nodding. “I love you.” You ‘indulged him’.
“Good girl.” He grinned, fucking you with haste again.
“Fuckk—I loveee you.” You almost screamed as he kept hitting that perfect spot.
“Y/n?”
Your eyes rounded as you heard his voice, remembering you were on a date. You turned towards him apologetically.
“Fuck.” You spoke as he gasped before turning to leave. “Wait, wait.” You called after him, Loki silencing you with a kiss. “Why would you do that?” You questioned, breaking it.
“Because you don’t need him, you love me.” He smirked.
“Fuck sake” you sighed “get out of me.” You ordered, pushing Loki away as he lowered you.
“What are you doing?”
“Trying to save my date.” You answered, pulling your dress down.
“Why won’t you just let this be?” Loki demanded, fixing his appearance.
“Because I can’t, we can’t.” You answered.
“Why? Why not?” He delved, holding your face in his hands. “Why won’t you just allow yourself this? Why are you so scared?” He continued to interrogate as you remained silent. “What are you so afraid of!”
“Loving you to lose you.” You exclaimed, a tear rolling down your cheek as Loki let go of you.
“Y/n.”
“You will always try to protect me, and Thor, and anyone on your team and I can’t love you if you’re going to do the sacrifice play at any given chance. I don’t want to admit that if I love you, I need you to be selfish. I need you to be alive, here, with me but that can’t happen because we’re avengers, sacrifice is what we do, survival isn’t guaranteed” you sniffled, reaching up to cup his cheek “so we can continue being this, back alleys and sneaking around but that is all. I need you to understand that. I need you to—”
“I understand” he interrupted, “but I still love you y/n” he smiled mirthlessly, wiping your tears “selfishly, wholeheartedly, forever whether or not you allow yourself to love me back.” He finished, kissing your cheek.
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The song coming from Lokis AirPods on the way home
Tags:
@lokiprompts @mischief2sarawr @lulubelle814 @lokisgoodgirl @mochie85 @eyesbluelikethetitanic @vickie5446 @mcufan72 @fictive-sl0th @peaches1958 @lokilvrr @evelyn-kingsley @strangelockd @xorpsbane @lovingchoices14 @donaweasley @sailorholly @lokidokieokie
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lokisswiftie · 4 months
Text
Bittersweet Revenge
Loki x Reader
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A/N: alright, Ik this is a lot more intense from what I’ve written before on here, but I just had this idea and had to get it down. This is mostly in unedited so I also apologise for any mistakes. This is going to get a little gruesome but I tried to hold back from getting too descriptive. Also I do know this isn’t what would happen in real life I just wanted to write this scenario. Please give me any CONSTRUCTIVE criticism that you have. Sending love to all of you!!💗 (also requests are open.)
Warnings: Mentions of past torture, Trauma, Angst, detailed Descriptions of violence, eventual fluff
Summary: many years after your past as a former Hydra agent, the same agents who tortured you are brought in by S.H.I.E.L.D. You take the only chance you have to rectify what they did to you, but how will Loki react once he finds out what you’ve done?
Enjoy!!
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It was supposed to be a celebration. The team had finally managed to bring in the hydra agents that had escaped so many times. Everyone was supposed to be happy. But not you.
The moment the group of hydra workers were escorted through the doors it was like all the air was sucked out of you. Your eyes bore into the back of their heads as they were walked away from you. You hadn’t realised you were still standing there frozen until Nat came up behind you to check on you.
“Are you alright Y/N?”
She inquired, and you reluctantly broke your gaze. You fought to maintain a casual facade, but the rage filled you and the distress of seeing them again was sinking into your veins. You exhale slowly, before meeting her eyes. If you’re going to go through with your revenge you can’t have her figuring it out.
“Everything’s fine, Nat. I’m just tired.”
She doesn’t believe you, but leaves it be. From then until the time when everyone else is leaving the office, you’re on your own. Doing paperwork, and thinking deeply. Loki wasn’t here with you, but if he knew… he would be horrified of your plans to get revenge. You were usually so level headed, even on missions. if he saw you like that… the thoughts kept plaguing you.
If it weren’t for the nightmares, the terror and everything you’d done to collect yourself after all they put you through you might’ve let it go. They destroyed everything, and now was the only chance you’d get.
So, when most people had left to go home, you snuck down to the holding cells. There was a dagger gripped tightly in your hand, but you most likely wouldn’t use it. Despite your being trained to not be messy.. to make every kill efficient and clean.. you might just take your time with this one.
As you approached the door you paused. You could turn back now. It might be for the best. You could just go back upstairs and finish the paperwork you’d been assigned. Maybe grab a coffee. Let them go.
No, you decided. After everything they’d taken from you? Everything and everyone you’d lost after they captured you? No. It was time for a wrong to be righted, even if you did have to get blood on your hands. You open the door.
“Do you remember me?”
One of the four men look up. There’s nothing in his eyes. He looks away as soon as he looked up and you curse him in your mind. You turn to the next, then the next until you meet the eyes of the final man.
“You remember me.”
He smiles, an empty heartless smile that doesn’t meet his dead eyes.
“I remember. You’re the one that escaped. Gave us a few scars on your way out.”
He laughs hollowly, and you grit your teeth. Your eyes bore into his. You grip the handle of the knife tight.
“Don’t worry. You wont be alive to see the scars I’ll leave this time.”
With that you grip the side of his skull and bring his head hard against the glass wall.
***
It’s got to be at least thirty minutes later. You’re sweating, and your casual get up is covered in blood. Their blood. You stand in the middle of the room, eyes scanning the crumpled forms around you. Part of you was satisfied. The other part.. was considering the aftermath of all this.
Thank god for soundproof walls. You were sure their excessive screaming would have drawn attention. Maybe that would have been good. Maybe you needed someone to stop you.
You wipe clean the blade of your dagger, before turning around to face the large glass window of the room. And then you freeze in place.
Standing there on the other side of the glass, face white as paper, is Loki. Your beloved. The person who saw past the facade. Who backed you up when people judged you for your past. Is now staring with an un readable expression on his face. He knew who they were. Of course he knew. You could feel him, poking and prodding at your mind.
You hadn’t realised tears were pricking your eyes until this very moment, when they all overflowed.
“Shit.”
You grab onto the handle of the door, and then you’re standing outside. Face to face with him. The slow drip of blood on the floor making everything feel real.
“Loki.. Loki I’m- I’m sorry.. I’m so sorry.”
You garble, and before you can stop it tears are overflowing. Everything seems so real now, as you stand under the buzzing lights.
“What… did you do?”
His voice is weak as he scans your frame. You shiver under his gaze, and see it soften drastically. Your breathing is uneven and erratic as you attempt to say something. Anything. To defend what you’ve done.
You expect him to run. To turn away and leave you here with your sins. But before you can say another word, his arms are around you. He pulls you against him firmly, rubbing your back and arms.
“Breathe. It’s okay. Don’t think about it. Just focus on my voice.”
And you do your best to listen. Despite the bodies. Despite the blood that pools on your clothes and now his. Despite the fear coursing through you. You listen. You let him use his fingers to gently untangle your hair. You let yourself believe it’ll all be okay.
“… did it help? With.. With the hurt they left behind?”
He finally speaks, and you inhale shakily as you think before responding.
“Yes… I think it did.”
You finally look up and meet his eyes. His beautiful green eyes that have no fear. And as if he can read your mind, he replies.
“Oh darling.. I could never fear you. No matter what, I’m here. I love you.”
You breathe deeply, and press your face back into his chest. Your mind still thrums with thoughts.
“What will happen now?”
Your voice shakes as you say it, and he pauses. You can almost hear the cogs in his head turning. When he finally replies after a minute of silence, his voice is calm and steady.
“I don’t know. But I’ll be here with you. Through anything… let’s get you home.”
He sees the shake in your legs and your weak knees, and without hesitating scoops you up into his arms. You rest your head against his shoulder as he walks, and listen to the sound of his steady heart beat. As long as he’s with you.
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lokisninerealms · 2 years
Text
Close for Comfort
Summary: A new hot tub is installed at the Avengers compound, intriguing you for a feel. You find yourself sneaking a dip at the same time as a particular God. But how much room can steaming water truly hold for two?
Pairing: Loki x F!Reader
Warnings: (18+ Content) Heavy heavy smut, slight degrading, mentions and descriptions of fingering, handjob, details involving heavy intercourse
A/N: this was longer and juicier than i expected but as they say, the fic tends to write itself.
MASTERLIST
taglist: @lokisgoodgirl @vbecker10 @lokiprompts
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Glistening sweat formed a thin line above your hairline, a few drops slowly running down the nape of your neck.
The heaving of your chest as you wiped the remaining sweat from your face. Still in need of a dip in Starks newly installed hot tub that he just had emplaced. Your body bruised and aching from how intense the workout you had just finished was.
A shade of purple and blue spots aligned various spots on your body. Some held a greener tint due to the start of healing. You hated the look, but nonetheless, you were one of the strongest mortals that made the Avengers.
Slipping on a emerald green bikini, the fabric was snug accentuating your curves. A towel in one hand while another held a water. Closing the door to your room, making way towards the other side of the compound. It was late at night, nearly one o’clock. You knew everyone else was bound to be asleep or doing their own thing.
At least that’s what you hoped.
Sliding the back door shut before passing the in-ground pool that Tony had also splurged on. The cool marble of the backyard patio on your feet with every step. Only to halt at the sight of someone else in the hudson bay spa.
His blue-green eyes turning at your direction, perfect hearing picking up at your presence. Arms rested on the tub’s edge like an eagle spreading its wings to fly. The muscles in his biceps visible, a few veins poking out as well. Your eyes dropped down to his chest, strong pecks on full display. The dips in his broad shoulders giving away the idea that he was fit and worked out frequently.
“I know I’m quite exquisite to look at but there is room for one more in this tub, do care to join me,” The sound of his velvety-voice snapped you from drinking him in.
Your cheeks heated up, a faint blush painting them red with embarrassment. Mentally kicking yourself for gawking at the God in front of you, though you knew he found pleasure in the attention.
Placing your towel and water bottle down before nearing towards the tub. Carefully sinking down into the water, the heat instantly burning your skin. Sighing in content. You leaned against the back wall. The scorching temperature numbing the ache in your exhausted limbs.
Opening your eyes to make instant eye contact with the Asgardian. A smirk pulled his lip, relaxing further back into the tub with a puff in the chest. Pushing his pecks further out, the defined lines of his abs peaking beneath the water.
“Enjoying yourself?,” He spoke after a moment of silence between you two.
Eyes slowly dropping to admire your chest, the cups of your top pushing them slightly higher.
Clearing your throat at the sight of his chest slowly rising up and down with a trickle of sweat running down, “Yes, the water feels very nice.”
“Indeed, it feels very nice. I like the heat…against my thighs,” His voice suggestive, dripping in lust.
Your breathe hitched at his flirty remark. Clenching your thighs together in need, forcing yourself not to drop your eyes any further. Noticing his damp curls sticking to his forehead with droplets of sweat forming. Every bone in your body fighting to run your fingers through his dark-raven hair.
A deep cough snapped you out of your filthy thoughts, his thick brow quirking at you. Posing a question of ‘what are you thinking?’ yet he remained silent.
Both of you scrutinizing each other, drinking in another’s appearance. Atmosphere around you growing thick and heavy, yet all you could do was blame it on the heat. His eyes never leaving yours as you sunk further into the water. The temperature engulfing you like a warm blanket on a cold winters night.
Shutting your eyes closed, in hopes that you’d brush away the burning heat that traveled its way to your core. Along with the dirty images that flooded your mind.
The slosh of water snapping them open, Loki’s body now right next to yours. Stiffening at his sudden move, you turned to look at him. A smirk still plastered on his face.
“Can I help you?” You asked, a bit more blunt than you intended to.
“There’s too much clothing on,” Loki drawled.
“Excuse me?” Your eyes widened at his reply, caught off guard by what he meant.
“You have too much clothing on.” His eyes slipping from your face to stare at your breasts, covered in thin fabric.
“I don’t understand how exactly that’s a problem here.”
“Oh, little dove…” he purred, twirling a piece of your hair with his finger, “I see the way that you look at me. You crave intimacy but most of all, to be touched by me.”
The air knocked from your lungs at his bold statement, your chest tightened as he exposed you. Confused on how he of all people would know about your deepest desire. To be completely and utterly fucked at the hands of one God, the Asgardian Prince himself.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you choked.
His intense gaze burning into your side, mentally forcing yourself to look anywhere but him. You needed to get out. Yet your legs stayed mounted to the charcoal tub.
Intoxicated by his smell, a hint of cologne and cypress with every inhale you took. A staggering breathe from how close you were to the inviting man beside you.
Lips lowered to the shell of your ear. “Oh. But I assure you, my dear, you know exactly what I’m talking about.”
Closing your thighs shut, you attempted to scoot away from him. Desperate to get out before he could tantalize you any further. Hearing the snap of his finger before the material of your top disappeared along with the bottoms.
Yelping in shock, you quickly turned around. The devious look of his amused at your embarrassment.
“Relax love, I prefer you this way. Naked and on display for my pure enjoyment,” he teased. Eyeing your bare breasts, nipples hardening as a chill breeze blew by.
Bubbles arose blasting at the quick speed that projected into the water. Just your luck, the jets had turned on.
Giving you slight coverage in attempt to hide your bottom half. The fast pressure massaging your muscles as you still remained in shock over what just occurred.
You felt completely exposed to the dark-haired trickster in front of you who held no shame.
A few bubbles had splashed up, dripping down his chin while he waited for your next move. His eyes hunting his prey like a meal in need of devouring.
The look he sent you sending an electric shock to your core. A burning arousal stirred inside of you, a temperature that even the water inside of the tub could not satisfy you. The familiar ache of yearning to be touched and pleasured by a man growing by the second.
Your next words even surprising you, a surge of boldness leaving as you spoke. “Well, come fuck me then.”
Closing the distance between you two, moving each leg to straddle his lap. His fingers sliding down to grasp the sides of your hips. Grinding your cunt to ease any friction against his trunks. A moan leaving your lips at the rough material and growth of his erection from underneath you.
Palming his clothed length, a strangled moan could be heard against your ear. A smirk forming in satisfactory from earning the reaction that you craved from him.
Slowly lifting yourself up off him, “I’m afraid that you have too much clothing on,” you whispered.
Moving a hand down to tug the waist of his swim trunks, setting his cock free. Grasping his shaft before slowly working in a pumping motion, up and down. Repeating the movement hastily.
The water becoming a lubricant that slipped through your nimble fingers with ease. Taking note of how easily your soft touch affected him. His breathe staggering with every jerk of your hand.
Lokis hand tugged your own releasing you from his cock, hunger burning in his eyes. He needed to touch you.
“Allow me,” he murmured.
His lips attaching themselves to the side of your neck, hungrily sucking the sweet spot below your ear. Moaning in approval at the magic of his tongue.
Grazing your folds, he delicately ran his fingers through them. Teasing you with one last draw before dipping one inside, your walls welcomed his touch. Adding another digit inside of you. Pumping in and out, a moan leaving you every time in a serene of pleasure.
Digit after digit. He pumped four fingers inside of you.
Moaning with every pump of his delicate fingers, getting lost in not only his touch but the feel of his lips on your skin. His cool fingers sliding in and out of you. Sucking the flesh of your neck to mark up your breasts.
Pulling his fingers out swiftly, you whined at the absence. Chuckling at your reaction to missing his touch. Loki pulled his face away to wave his hand, shutting the jets off.
“Such a needy little one, you are,” he crooned at you.
The bubbles stilled around your naked bodies. Both of you drenched in a mix of salt water and sweat.
“Loki…,” you cried.
“I need you….I need you, Loki,” you began to beg.
Feeling utterly humiliated as you pleaded for the God to fuck you. Your body craved to be full of him.
Loki snickered, “Look at you. Begging for a God’s cock like the filthy, little whore that you are. Is that what you want? For me to fuck you? Fill you with every inch of me until I have you screaming, pleading to your one and only for more.”
His mocking words fired something in you, arousal practically dripping as it soaked your folds. Nodding eagerly, you began to grind your hips ferociously against him. A spill of ‘yes’s’ and ‘fuck me please’ coming from you.
Pulling you up at the grasp of your hips, Loki drooled at the sight of the water that dripped from your breasts. His mind spiraling, completely filled with lust and arousal.
Your focus shifted from leaving kisses on the pale skin of his neck to centering his cock at your entrance. Gently running his shaft along your soaked folds before sinking down. His girth stretching your walls leaving you to fully adjust, taking every inch of him.
A loud moan coming from both of you of immense pleasure. The assumption about him being the perfect size becoming true. Slipping a hand behind the nape of his neck, you steadied yourself for support. Running your fingers through to feel the soft texture of his curls
Beginning to bounce up and down, the water sloshed around you.
“Fuuuuck…Loki, you’re so big,” you moaned.
Your praises fulfilling his ego, boosting him with pride.
Loki thrusted beneath you aiding you both to a hot release. The tip of his cock piercing your cervix with every bounce and thrust that occurred.
His grunts and moans filling your ears, a mix of your own joining with him. Both of you too lost in the pleasure of ravishing another to care about anyone who could hear.
Up and down, you continued to bounce on top of him. Breasts at eye level while he looked up at you in lust and admiration. A cluster of soft moans fell from your lips at the slightest touch of his cool fingers circling your clit.
“Come on love…don’t be shy. Let me hear how good I’m making you feel, let’s put on a whole show,” he coaxed in your ear.
A scream erupted from you, the sudden change in position hitting a different spot than before. Your chest now flushed against the wall as the God of Mischief pounded into you from behind. His attempts at getting you to be more vocal succeeding as your pleasure was heard for the whole world.
Moan after moan, shout after shout, you cried as each thrust that was entered became harsher than the last. Tears brimming in your eyes at the brutal force that Loki used to reaching your climax.
“You feel so good, taking all of me like the good girl that you are,” Loki praised.
Water splashing with every hurried rock of his hips against the flesh of your skin. His heavy balls slamming against your ass, destined to create even more bruises.
The sound of waves crashing around you drowned out by heavy pants and whimpering moans.
“My pretty girl. You look so beautiful filled of my cock,” he moaned. Feeling so full at the warmth of your cunt.
Thrust after thrust, his dick disappeared inside of your folds. Pulling out just before the tip only to slam right back in. Your body jerking every time while you gripped onto the ledge for dear life. His sweet praises and taunts tipping you over as your stomach tightened.
“F-fuck…Loki, I’m gonna…I need to cum,” you panted.
“We shall come together, hold on just a little bit longer my love,” he rasped. Feeling his own stomach coil.
The nickname falling from his lips like honey. Turning your head back to look at him, his dark curls framed his face. His face contorted in sweet pleasure, heavenly moans leaving his lips at the same the. Your walls clenched around him at the scene of you two.
Loki deeply inhaled feeling his cock twitch aggressively as he coursed you to cum. Screams and moans could be heard as the both of you reached your high together.
After performing a couple more lousy thrusts, Loki laid to rest on top of you. Raven curls laying to fall on your shoulder, his breathe warm. A mixture of both of your juices slowly sliding down your thigh. His length still buried deep inside of you.
“That was…..,” he breathed.
“Amazing,” you finished the sentence for him.
Running a hand through his hair, the cool touch of his lips grazed your collar bone.
Slowly he pulled out of you, the ache between your thighs causing you to flinch at the retraction of his length. His lips kissing your cheek in the process. A wave of his hand to clean you both up while also sealing a contraceptive spell.
Turning around to settle your back against the hot tub, exhausted, a well-spent mess of Loki’s doing. As you allowed yourself to relish in the presence of his.
“And I thought it’d take a lot more than me being drenched in a hot tub for you to finally give in,” he jested.
Slapping his chest lightly, scoffing as he teased you. A sudden splash of water hitting you.
“You’re going to pay for that!,” you shrieked.
“I just paid you by ravishing you with my delightful cock,” he rolled his eyes dramatically at you.
Before you could quip back, his greedy hands pulled you to his lap, already missing the touch of your skin on his. You squealed, feeling his lips close the gap between you two at the exchange of a heated, yet passionate kiss.
Pulling away just before your tongues could fully intertwine, Loki sent a wicked grinned your way. The mischief glint in his blue-green eyes clearly evident.
“So next time, we’re fucking in the pool,” he smirked.
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vbecker10 · 1 year
Note
Hi I was jw if you could do a Loki x reader where they have a huge fight and then reader leaves for a mission to only come back injured. Loki is given a note from her apologizing to him and when she wakes up he takes care of her apologizing as well? Super duper fluffy ending?
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Hey anon!! I have two asks that have very similar ideas so I'm doing them together. I'm sorry if it took me so long to get to it that you sent it again but I really do love this idea. I changed a little bit of it and kinda combined both asks. Hopefully it was worth the wait 💚
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That's Not What I Meant
Pairing: Loki x female reader
Warnings: arguing, angst, injury, lots of fluff
Summary: You and Loki have an argument but before the two of you can resolve it, you are called away on a mission for a few days. You return from the mission injured and still hurt by what Loki said before you left but he is determined to show you how much you truly mean to him.
A/N: I threw in Halloween stuff cause it's October so why not right 🎃 lol... also, as usual this got away from me and is way longer then I intended 🤷‍♀️
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"Its October first!" you say as you flip the calendar on your kitchen wall excitedly. "Do you know what that means?" you turn towards Loki.
He looks up from the coffee maker, "I would say its Saturday but I imagine that's not the answer you are looking for."
"Its Halloween!" you answer with a wide smile. He rolls his eyes but you catch a glimpse of him smiling before he turns back to face the counter. You move to stand behind him and put your arms around his waist, resting your cheek against his back.
He shakes his head and chuckles softly while he pours the fresh coffee into two mugs. "I was under the impression that Halloween was on the last day of the month, not the first," he says.
You groan, letting go of him so you can lean your back against the counter next to him. You look up at him, crossing your arms and say, "Technically yes but... we can do Halloween stuff all month."
He takes a sip of his coffee, "A whole month seems a bit unnecessary. Surely one day is enough."
"It absolutely is necessary!" you tell him, a bit louder than you expected to.
He raises an eyebrow then waves his hand for you to continue. "Very well. What did you have in mind, darling?" he asks.
"Everything... Some of the parks here do hayrides, corn mazes and apple picking. I've always wanted to go apple picking, maybe Wanda could teach me how she makes those mini apple crumbles," you say and Loki smiles, you know how much he loves any type of dessert he can get his hands on. "There are tons of haunted houses we can visit of course," you add.
"Of course," he nods dramatically in agreement which causes you to laugh.
"Oh and I feel like you would like pumpkin carving," you say and he tilts his head curiously. "Because you know..." you make a stabbing motion, "Knives and such."
"That seems acceptable," he laughs then leans forward to kiss you briefly. "Anything else, love?"
"Can't forget watching horror movies with lots of junk food and cuddles or scaring everyone on the team," you tell him.
"How could I say no to either of those?" he smiles as he puts his coffee mug on the counter and moves closer to you. He slips one arm around you and you lean against his chest, looking up at him. "It'll be hard to pick a favorite activity but I don't think you can beat scaring the others," he says with a mischievous grin.
You hit his chest lightly, "Want to try picking a favorite again?"
He kisses the top of your head, "Pumpkin carving?"
"You're the worst," you giggle as you pull free. "The correct answer is horror movies and cuddles, obviously. Just for that, I'm picking out our costumes for Stark's party."
His mood shifts suddenly as the playful smile leaves his lips. He picks up his coffee mug and takes another sip. "There's no need for you to do that," he says in a serious tone, "I won't be attending the party." With that, he turns and walks out of the kitchen.
"You don't want to go?" you ask as you follow him into the living room.
He sits on one end of the couch and sets his mug on the coffee table. "Y/N, you know I don't go to Stark's parties. I never have and I see no reason to start now," he says without looking at you.
"I thought we could go together," you say with a hopeful smile.
He picks up his book from the side table and open its, "Why would you think that?"
"Because it would be fun?" you ask, feeling more unsure of yourself with every passing moment.
He looks up at you briefly and then back to his book. "I doubt very much it would be," he says.
You stand across from him in silence, hurt by the thought that Loki didn't even want to consider going with you. Loki has never been one to socialize with the team voluntarily but you had been excited about the idea of finally having a date to one of Stark's parties.
"I know we've only been dating a few months but... I guess I just assumed you would want to go with me," you say quietly.
"Don't Midgardians have a saying about assuming things?" he asks as he turns the page of his book.
"Well, yea..." you put your mug on the coffee table. "Can you not read while we're talking?"
"You know I'm perfectly capable of holding a conversation and reading at the same time," he says without looking up, you wrap your arms around yourself and don't respond. He finally looks up and slides his bookmark between the pages before setting it on the table. "Better?" he asks in a sarcastic tone.
"Oh, is it rude of me to want you to pay attention to me when I'm talking?" you ask, unable to hide your growing annoyance.
"There is nothing to talk about. I have told you I'm not going," he says. "You're more then welcome to go to that ridiculous event alone." He sits back and opens his book again.
"Its not ridiculous," you argue back but he doesn't acknowledge you as he turns the page.
"And I don't... I don't want to go alone. I want to go with my boyfriend. What's wrong with that?" you ask.
"Are you really going to just ignore me now?" you ask when he continues to read silently.
"I'm not ignoring you, I'm just done with this conversation," he says as he flips the page.
"That's not how conversations work-" you say, rolling your eye sarcastically.
"I don't want to be with you Y/N," Loki says in a harsh tone as he slams the book closed.
You instantly take a step back as his words hit you. He stands up quickly, dropping his book as moves towards you. "Go, I meant I don't want to go with you," he tries to correct himself but your mind has already latched onto those words.
"You... don't..." you whisper as you stand in front of him in disbelief, shaking your head slowly.
"No, no. That's not what I meant," he repeats. "Y/N, I didn't mean that."
He reaches for your arm and you pull away from him. "But you said it," you say, you feel as if you're heart is physically breaking. "Why would you say that?" you ask, close to tears.
"Y/N, I-" Loki starts to explain but is cut off by the sound of your phone ringing from the other room.
You turn from him and walk back to the kitchen to answer it. Loki follows you and tries to take your hand but you turn from him. You purposefully stare at your feet while on the phone to avoid looking at Loki who is growing increasingly upset and nervous.
When you hang up from your call with Agent Hill you ask, "Can you please leave? I have to be ready to take off for a mission in twenty minutes and I-"
"Y/N, I'm not leaving until we talk," he shakes his head. He attempts to close the distance between the two of you again and this time you don't move away. You keep your eyes fixed on the ground as tears begin to surface. He touches your cheek lightly but you still don't look up.
"That's not what I meant," he says again and you nod slowly, your heart believes him but your mind won't let go of this words so easily. "Please look at me," he pleads but you can’t.
"I have to get ready," you tell him again in a hushed voice.
"Can we talk when you get back?" he asks and you mumble ok in response. He kisses the top of your head lightly and says, "Be safe, Y/N."
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(Three days later)
You limp slowly down the long corridor and find yourself standing in front of Loki's door. You can tell he's awake, most likely reading, when you see the light creeping out from under the door even though it's just past one in the morning.
You stand there frozen for a moment. All you want to do is feel his arms wrap around you but every time you picture him, you hear his voice echo. He said he didn't want to be with you and although he quickly took it back you just couldn't shake it. His words had burned themselves into your thoughts and refused to leave.
You try to take a deep breath and feel a searing pain spread through your left side. You look down at the brace on your left knee and rub your left arm, just above where the cast was set. Shaking your head, you turn to drag yourself the rest of the way down the hall to your room to sleep.
You get a few feet away when you hear Loki's door open and you stop but don't turn. "Y/N, welcome back," he says quietly.
You can feel your heartbeat picking up at the sound of his voice and you can't help but smile a bit. "I've missed you, love," he says, you can hear he's stepped out into the hall.
"I missed you too," you tell him as you turn to face him. You watch as his eyes move up and down your body, filling with concern.
"Y/N, are you alright? What happened?" he asks, standing close to you. You shrug and tell him that the mission was ultimately successful but you were thrown during an explosion at the Hydra base. You had broken your arm and sprained your knee, in addition to being covered in bruises. You tell him you're exhausted and just want to lay down.
He reaches out and takes your hand, "I know you're tired darling, but come with me." You look up at him quietly, he gently strokes your cheek. "Let me take care of you," he says in a soothing voice.
You smile sleepily and nod, absolutely nothing could sound better then letting Loki look after you right now. No matter what he said before you left, you were still completely in love with him, although you had never been brave enough to say it. You squeeze his hand lightly and he leads you back to his room.
Once inside, he closes the door quietly and picks you up careful not to hurt your side or leg. You let out a small laugh in surprise as he carries you bridal style into the living room. "I can walk," you tell him but you make no attempt to be put down.
"Not without being in pain it seems," he answers in a caring tone.
You wrap your good arm around his neck a bit tighter and kiss his cheek lightly without thinking. He smiles when he looks down at you but you can see it doesn't quite reach his eyes. His eyes are red and glassy, his normally silky smooth hair appears slightly tangled and you've never seen his clothing wrinkled before.
You look around as he carries you through his apartment. His space is usually meticulously neat but there are books messily piled on the end table and floor. You notice a pillow and blanket from his bed have been moved to the couch and there are several empty mugs on the coffee table. He walks through the living room and into his bedroom where the bed you've shared is made perfectly, expect for the missing pillow. You realize its the pillow from your side of the bed that's been moved to the couch.
As if he is reading your thoughts he says, "I haven't been able to sleep without you."
You close your eyes, hold him tighter and whisper, "I'm sorry, Loki." You knew how hard the last few days had been for you but you are quickly seeing how badly it had affected Loki as well.
He kisses your forehead as he gently opens the bathroom door with his foot. He sets you down on the countertop next to the sink.
"I understand you're tired but... I just need you to know I'm sorry," he says. "I didn't mean what I said before you left, you know that right? I was frustrated about the party and it just came out wrong. I-" he tells you and you pull him closer to you. You put your good arm around his waist and move your legs to be on either side of him as they dangle over the edge.
You had spent the last three days replaying what Loki said and you can tell he had been too. "I know Loki," you interrupt him. "I know you didn't mean it," you tell him and he breaths a sigh of relief. He strokes your cheek lightly then leans down to kiss you.
When he breaks the kiss, you hide your face against his chest. "Y/N...?" he asks, running his hand up and down your back lightly.
"I'm sorry I pushed you about going to the party. I know you don't enjoy going to them and it wasn't fair that I got upset instead of listening to you," you tell him.
He puts his fingers under your chin and tilts your head so you are looking up at him again. "I will go to the party, I just want to make you happy Y/N," he offers but you shake your head no and he looks confused.
"I don't want to go anymore," you tell him.
"You should go. I know how much fun you thought his last party was," he says.
You smile at him and run your fingers through his hair gently, "I would rather spend time with you, doing something we both like."
He cups your cheek and brings your lips to his. You kiss him back as his hand slides down your back, holding you close to his chest. You giggle when you pull away to breath, "I meant something like going to a museum... but that works too."
He laughs at your response than says, "Well we still have all the things on your Halloween list to get through."
You nod happily as you yawn then groan in pain when your stretching aggravates your sore muscles. His smile fades and he looks concerned again.
"Let's get you more comfortable, darling," he says and you agree.
You rest against Loki with your eyes closed as you listen to the tub full with water. After a few minutes, Loki carefully helps you out of your dirty, bloodied uniform and places you into the warm water. You let out a sigh as your muscles begin to relax from the oils Loki had added. Resting your broken arm on the edge of the tub, you let yourself sink completely under the bubbles.
Loki's kneels behind you and begins to gently unbraid your hair. He runs his long fingers through your hair and then down your neck to your shoulders, massaging all the tension from your muscles. When he finishes, he kisses you softly. "Just rest now, I'll be back in a moment," he says as he gets up.
You nod with a smile, struggling to keep your eyes open. Just as you are about to drift off completely, Loki returns to being you to bed. After drying off, Loki conjures you a soft pair of green shorts and a black tank top to sleep in.
You giggle, half asleep when he picks you up again and carries you into the bedroom. He lays you on the bed and then gets in next to you. At soon as he pulls the covers over the two of you, you curl up against his side.
Loki wraps his arms tightly around you and whispers, "I love you, Y/N."
For a moment, you aren't sure if you dreamed hearing this words or if he actually said he loved you for the first time. You look up at him and when you see his smile, you know you weren't dreaming.
"I love you too, Loki," you confess happily, right before you slip into a sound sleep.
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mcufan72 · 2 months
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Hello everyone!
After writer's block and some changes in my life (mostly good ones), I'm finally able to write again. I can't believe that the last lines I wrote for my Loki fics were in July/August 2023. Unbelievable.
Here is my new multi-part fic!
It's a modern AU, I will use MCU characters and facts incorrectly and Loki will be as I want him to be. The Multiverse is open and I do what I want. Those who have read my other stuff know what I mean. So if you don't like it, don't read it. This story will contain morally grey stuff (or not, I don't know. What exactly is morally grey? But nothing too bad happens here or without consent. It's still a love story), fluff, angst and eventually smut…so 18+ only, please!
I also use random names/characters, they have nothing to do with the MCU, they're a product of my fantasy. They are inspired by real-life people and also the plot might be inspired by real-life experiences (not every part of the plot, please keep that in mind). So please don't steal my stuff, use your own experiences and let them inspire you. I also did some research but without a guarantee of completeness and accuracy.
Here is the first chapter of my new fic. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it. 💚
Sugar and Cinnamon
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Loki x female reader / 18+
Chapter 1
Preview here
Warnings: none so far, contains fluff, angst, and smut (eventually), it's a slow-burn love story.
“I leave."
"Yeah, good. Go home and get some rest. I don't know when I'll be back. Might be late. “
“That's not what I meant.”
“Then explain.”
“I leave the company…and you!”
“It's just a phase, darling. Take a few days off and then everything will be fine again.”
“You really don't get it, do you? It's not a phase.”
“No one screws things up with me! Not even you! ...you have six months.”
3 months later
Damn! Just damn! You were late, like always. You were permanently struggling with keeping places in time and today it wasn't any different. It was pouring rain since you had left your apartment and you were nearly completely drenched from head to toe and of course, you had forgotten your umbrella. The only protection from the rain was the high collar and the hood of your coat. You hurried through the streets of Manhattan, melding into the people who crowded the sidewalks. The city's smells and noises were engulfing you, uncountable different languages and accents were hitting your ears. On every street corner was music, played by street entertainers who tried to grab some money from the people passing by. Car horns were honking, and brakes were squeaking, the sirens of ambulances or police cars drowning out any other sounds. The whole city was buzzing and glowing, a permanent noise filling ears and streets, echoing between amazing skyscrapers. But you loved it, this was your hometown and you have been living here for five years now. You wouldn't stay here forever, surely not, but for now you would stay.
On your way to your appointment this afternoon you accidentally bumped into someone because you held your head down to keep the rain away from your face. “Hey, watch it, girl!” a manly voice scolded you. You apologized with a hasty: “Sorry”, and continued your way unimpressed. Somehow you managed to cruise fluently through the masses of people and cars and reached the building you wanted to go to right in time. You passed the doorman, who gave you a friendly smile, and the security men in their black suits in the reception area, who greeted you with a short nod. They looked much too good for your liking but you couldn't deny your attraction to tall men with broad shoulders in black suits. You had a soft spot for this kind of man. The rainwater that was dripping from your coat was wetting the floor of the entrance hall and with an apologetic shoulder shrug and a heartwarming smile on your face towards the security men, you headed for the lift.
*****************
How much Loki hated the weather today. Fortunately, he had his umbrella with him so he was protected from heaven's water. The pouring rain, the crowded sidewalks and streets, the deafening noise. He was living here in New York for over twelve years now but it seemed to some things he would never get used to. He surely wouldn't stay here forever but for now, he still had to. Normally he wouldn't go out on the streets when it was raining like this. No one would go out voluntarily in such weather. But he got a call from a negotiating partner, who asked him to meet him at a café in the early afternoon to inform him about a few details. And some conversations were better made personally than by phone. The meeting wasn't a long one and his conversation partner Mr.Miller had already left but Loki was still sitting in the café, sipping on his espresso. “Damn it!”, he murmured under his breath, annoyed about what Mr. Miller had asked of him.
Mr. Miller was an extremely old-fashioned, elderly man and he told Loki for his next event, a business dinner, he would like to see him with a female companion. Every other guest would bring their significant others too, there wouldn't be just the dinner, there would also be some dancing afterwards and how sad it would be if he were there alone.
“Please, bring your significant other, too. I don't accept a no!” Mr. Miller insisted.
Loki knew exactly when it was better to not discuss a negotiation partner's wishes and so he agreed. Sometimes you have to make concessions if you want something to be successful. Now a solution had to be found. Loki didn't have any female friend he could take with him on such a date. It must be someone trustworthy, someone who could be silent as a grave, someone who could keep secrets. In the best case, someone who did it professionally. He would never ask any of his former affairs, not to talk about that his last affair was some time ago. He pulled out his mobile phone and did some research. Over the years he'd learned to appreciate his phone as a daily companion. Using apps on your mobile phone made your life easier and finding a solution for nearly every problem was easier with it as well.
Shortly after starting scrolling through several websites, he found it. The solution to his problem ‘how to attend a date with a female companion’: an escort agency. Professionally escorted by a well-educated woman, intelligent, sophisticated and with perfect manners, professionally obliged to keep silent. That was it, the ultimate solution to his problem. Of course, he had to meet the woman he wanted to book for that upcoming event, first. He had to ensure that she was the right one and if she was suitable for such an event. He had no other choice so he gave it a try. He called the agency he had chosen and described what he wanted and what was required in every detail to the polite and friendly lady he was talking to. It sounded like she was smiling on the other end of the phone and it gave him the good feeling of having made the right decision.
“Okay, Sir. I'm pretty sure I already have the right lady for you. Have you heard of the ‘Vivian's Velvet’ nightclub?”
“Yes, I did."
“Fine. Then you'll meet her there at the bar at 8 pm sharp. She'll be waiting there for you.”
“How will I recognise her? I mean…”
“She'll know who you are. Please send me a photo of you and then I can forward the image to her. Please don't get me wrong, Sir but we handle it this way because we want to guarantee our ladies a way out in case they want to refuse a meeting for whatever reason and at any time. Even if they are already at the nightclub. It's for the safety of our ladies. I hope you understand.”
“I do. It's what your ladies deserve and I respect that.”
“I'm glad to hear that, Sir. Thank you for understanding. Would you please give me your name so our lady can address you correctly?”
Loki hesitated for a second. In his business sometimes it was advantageous to use an alias and he would hold on to this tradition here.
“My name is Luke Larsson.”
“Thank you for your kindness, Mr. Larsson. If you have any questions or if the lady I've chosen for you is not for your liking, please don't hesitate and let me know. I'll look for a new lady for you then. We aim to satisfy you completely at any time. And please don't forget to send me your photo, Mr. Larsson.”
“I'll send it immediately.”
“Of course, Mr. Larsson and I wish you an enjoyable evening. Thank you for choosing and calling us. Goodbye, Sir.”
“Goodbye, Ma'am and thank you for your excellent service.”
“You're welcome” and with that, the call ended.
He did what was required of him and he sent the agency a photo of himself. To book a lady at an escort agency was an expensive matter but money was no object. He had called the best escort agency in the city and only the best was what he needed.
He paid his bill and left the café. The streets were still crowded, rain was still flooding the streets and slightly ruining his leather shoes and his slacks. On his way back home a hood-wearing person with a lowered head, drenching wet from the rain, bumped into him. Why couldn't people watch their way, he thought angrily.
“Hey, watch it, girl!“ he scolded. He wasn't sure if it was a woman, he just assumed it. He barely heard the apology of the person and he immediately regretted his harsh words. He turned around to apologize as well. But the person who ran into him had almost completely disappeared in the crowd. He could just catch a short glimpse of the shoes the person was wearing. ‘Nice colour’, he thought and disappeared into the crowd himself. In a few hours, he would meet the escort lady who probably would accompany him to his next business dinner.
***************
With a ping, the lift's door opened on the 25th floor where the agency had its office. The word REA was written in large, finely curved golden letters on the big white, opaque glass door, right above the golden door knob. REA was the acronym for Rhea's Escort Agency and you had to ring a doorbell to get in. The interior was simple but very elegant, bright and inviting at the same time. Smooth jazz music played in the background and created a comfortable atmosphere. A large white leather couch was invitingly positioned close to the floor-to-ceiling windows, framed by exotic green plants and a coffee table. Behind the front desk sat Rhea, the owner of the agency, on the phone, talking to one of the other escorts. She beckoned you with her hand getting over to her. After you approached her desk, she opened her mouth with a soundless dismay when she saw you in your dripping wet state. You could just smile at her with a shoulder shrug. You took off your drenched coat and hung it on the coat rack. Shortly after, she ended the call and rounded her desk to hug you.
“Jeez, girl…look at you. What happened , dear? Did you take a swim and forgot your towel?”
“Kind of.” you answered and laughed.
“Sit down, lovely. You must be freezing. I'll get you a towel and a hot drink. Some Tea?”
“Yes, I'd fancy a cuppa“, you said with a sigh of relief and you were glad to drink something warm now and to dry the front part of your hair with a towel.
“Here, darling “, Rhea said when she came back from the restroom and kitchenette which were both located at the back of the office, invisible to clients.
“That's much needed now, thanks, Rhea. You're my saviour.“ you answered with a thankful smile and took a sip of your tea before you began to dry your hair. You immediately felt much better. Rhea sat down again in her chair opposite you and opened the appointment calendar on her laptop.
“I'm glad that you made it to the office, y/n. The weather is really horrible today but I needed to see you personally.”
“Did something happen? Did a client complain? “ you asked concernedly. You hoped not, you needed this job and you always gave your best.
“No no, don't worry, darling. Everything is fine and that's what I wanted to tell you. Every client you have escorted so far has been happy and satisfied. You're booked up for this week except for the weekend, as you wished. So based on your successful dating and our clients’ satisfaction, I can offer you a higher hourly rate.”
“Oh, really? Oh thank you so much, Rhea, that really means a lot to me. I need every dollar I can earn.” You meant it, it was the undeniable truth.
“I know, dear and you know you could increase your income further by being booked for the weekends as well.” Rhea reminded you.
“Yeah, I know but I need the weekends for personal matters. Those are important too, I'm sorry.”
“Don't be sorry. Your personal matters are surely important and I know it's none of my business. But please let me know whenever I can do something for you, okay?” she said softly.
“No one can help me, I'm afraid. But thank you for your kind offer, I appreciate it,” you replied, well aware regardless of how much you'd work, even if you worked 24/7 you still wouldn't earn enough money to solve your problems. But you had to try and that was what kept you going.
“Okay…so…are you spontaneous, dear?” Rhea asked you while looking for her work mobile phone on her desk.
“Ahmm…yes”, you answered hesitantly.
“Good, because I got a request 30 minutes ago and already made an appointment …and based on the requirements of our potential new client I think you perfectly fit him.”
“Okay, where will I meet him and when?”
“At 8 pm sharp at ‘Vivian's Velvet’. Walker will drive you like always. It is more a casual meeting with our client to get to know each other so please dress appropriately but not too chic. Classy will do…a black cocktail dress would be fine.”
“Yeah, no problem. How does he look like and what's his name?”
“Waaaiiit…ah now…sent you a photo “, Rhea explained and a second later your phone vibrated with an incoming message.
“He's eye candy, a jackpot, a real cherry on top, the icing on the cake…and his voice…he could read the phone book to me. But the most important thing, he sounded nice. Maybe a bit arrogant but nice.” Rhea gushed.
“A jackpot you say? Let me see…” and with these words on your lips, you opened the file. You nearly dropped your phone. Black mid-length curly hair, a beautiful blade of a nose, a chiselled jaw, prominent cheekbones and a mouth you just wanted to kiss. But the most impressive were his piercing blue eyes which seemed to look deep into your soul.
“Wow” was the only thing you were able to say.
“I told you” Rhea laughed, fully getting your reaction towards the beauty of this man. “His name is Luke Larsson. I'm sure you won't miss him.”
“Absolutely not. How could someone miss this handsome man? Luke Larsson…is he Norwegian? “
“I don't know…his accent sounded more British. So you're willing to meet him? “
“Oh yes, I'm looking forward to it. I'll be at ‘Vivian's' at 7.30 pm so I can wait for him there.” you confirmed.
“Fine, dear. He booked you for two hours. When I get the drinks bill from the bar, your hourly rate and your share of the drinks will be transferred to your bank account…as usual. Enjoy the evening, dear. And tell me how it went, okay?” Rhea asked you.
“Of course, I'll let you know.”
After this enjoyable talk, you headed back home quickly. You had less than two hours left to get prepared for the meeting with Mr. Luke Larsson.
In less than 20 minutes Walker would arrive at your apartment to drive you to ‘Vivian's Velvet ‘. Walker was your chauffeur and was responsible for driving you safely to a dating location and back home again afterwards. In case you would spend intimate hours with a client, he would wait in front of the hotel. For your safety and to drive you home after the intimate encounter. Walker was 56 years old, a rock of a man with a buzz cut and a beard. He was an imposing figure, always dressed in a formal suit. But he had a heart of gold and you always felt safe when he was around. Knowing he was always close by when you had an appointment with a man, made you feel even safer. You knew he had a soft spot for you and he would always be there for you, no matter what. Somehow you were like a daughter to him but if you were his daughter he would never allow you to work as an escort.
You were almost ready. You were wearing a simple but elegant black, midi cocktail dress with sleeves in black lace and black high heels. With your hair parted in the middle and pulled back into a sleek tight bun, which sat deep in your neck, you created an illusion of long straight hair. You grabbed your purse from the wardrobe and after a final inspection of your appearance in your large mirror, you left your apartment.
“Good evening, y/n. You look wonderful tonight “. Walker was waiting for you in front of your house and opened the door of the black limousine with tinted windows for you and you let yourself slide into the backseat of the car.
“Thank you, Walker and good evening.“ you replied with a smile on your lips.
Walker closed the door, entered the driver's seat and drove you to ‘Vivian's Velvet’. It was one of the most exclusive and most expensive nightclubs in Manhattan with a luxurious interior in black and purple.
It was close to 8 pm and you were waiting for your date. You were excited about how he would be if he really looked that good and if you would fit his expectations. You ordered a glass of champagne to calm down your nerves a little bit but it would be your only drink tonight. As always, because you must remain in control of your senses. It was a golden rule. The men you dated were supposed to drink alcohol, lots of it, not you. It brought additional money to the hourly rate of an escort. The more they drank the more you got. The only thing that brought the most additional money was having sex with them. But it wasn't a must and you weren't interested, not in the slightest. But the day might come when you had no other choice and maybe one day you would feel a carnal desire again that needed to be satisfied. But you wouldn't do it with everyone. It had to be a special man with a special aura and he must give you kind of a feeling that you were safe with him.
A few minutes later, at 8 pm sharp, you felt someone standing behind and then next to you. A hint of a delicious scent hit your nostrils and a sizzling energy filled the air, making your skin tingle.
***********
When Loki entered the nightclub, there were already four women sitting at the bar, their backs turned towards him. Two of them were in the company of a man, two were sitting there alone so one of them was supposed to be his date, he assumed. Because he didn't know what the woman he had booked looked like, he went over to the bar and ordered a drink, the most expensive Scottish whisky the club had to offer. Next to him to his right side sat a woman on a stool, dressed in an elegant black cocktail dress and black high heels, her hair in a tight hair bun. For now, she ignored him and he wasn't sure if she was his date or not. She looked stunning as far as he could see it. He didn't want to stare at her. But he hoped she was the woman he had an appointment with. She was very lovely to look at. In the corner of his eyes, he saw her sipping at her glass of champagne.
“Good evening, Mr.Larsson. Nice to meet you,” you addressed him with a calm, velvety voice and smiled at him.
“Good evening, Miss… I'm sorry but I don't know your name yet,” he answered softly but dryly.
“How would you like to call me, Mr. Larsson?” You asked him mischievously, a smile curving your lips.
“I don't think I am in the position to give you a name.”
“You're very polite and well-mannered, aren't you?”
You had difficulties maintaining your facade. He looked extremely good in that photo but in reality, this man was beyond beautiful. Inky black hair you wanted to rake your fingers through, broad shoulders, lean muscles, slender waist and endless long legs. All of this gorgeousness was wrapped in an exquisite black suit and a crisp white shirt, the top three buttons undone. You could see a hint of his chest hair which peaked out of the V of his shirt. You felt your mouth watering. He was devastatingly sexy. Now that he was reassured that you were his date he moved a little closer to you. His smell was enchanting. An indescribable mixture of fresh cotton, sandalwood, orange blossom and something spicy you weren't able to specify.
The way he leaned against the bar, his big veiny hand with long, perfectly manicured fingers holding the whisky tumbler, his other hand in his trouser pocket, had something indecent about it. You wanted to rip his shirt open and watch the buttons scatter down to the floor. You should better stop salivating over him and begin entertaining him. That was your job and he was the client you had to convince of you because you wanted him to book your service. You had to focus on your job.
“What kind of escort service do you need from me? How can I be of help?”, you asked him kindly.
He took a sip of his whisky and you of your champagne before he gave you an answer, making eye contact with you and holding your gaze. It made you inwardly shiver.
“I need a companion who escorts me regularly to functions. I'm not interested in flirting with you. I need someone I can have an actual conversation with. Nothing annoys me more than some people and their boring talk. It also should be someone who is discreet and can keep secrets. Someone who doesn't want more afterwards,” he explained, his voice dark and raspy.
“Even if you would want more afterwards I won't give it to you. I'm an escort, not a luxury call girl. I just offer you simple accompaniment, nothing more and nothing less,” you stated kindly but firmly. Good-looking or not, you would never give him the chance to get between your legs.
“I'm well aware of that, Miss”, he replied dryly. “You're an escort lady and this is what I want and what I need. And don't worry, I don't believe in love or anything related to it!”
Loki took a sip of his whisky, his gaze still fixed on you. How pretty you were. Your big bright eyes, your cute nose and your rosy lips were just perfect. Your body was perfectly hugged by your black cocktail dress and your legs with those beautiful high heels at your feet were tempting and he suddenly thought about how good it must feel if they were wrapped around his waist. Loki quickly pushed that thought aside. He wasn't here to live out his lust with you. Also, his past was dark and blood-drenched. And you definitely deserved a better man than him. Regardless of his indecent thoughts, he liked your attitude and your behaviour. A little bit of sassiness, a lot of passion and somewhere hidden deep inside of you, vulnerability and a kind of sadness. Now that he has gotten to know you he wondered how and why you had ended up in the escort agency. You didn't seem to belong there.
“Me neither, Mr. Larsson! I'm glad we see it the same way. I've sworn off men entirely. I'm not interested in a love affair with you.”
“Well, I guess we got a deal, then.”
“Absolutely, Mr. Larsson, we got a deal”.
You smiled at him and you took another sip of your champagne. He gave you clearly and precisely all the information you needed to know so you could get an idea of the business dinner he wanted you to escort him to and you agreed with the conditions. Time flew by so quickly and before you even knew it your appointment with him was over.
“So we'll meet next week? “ Loki asked you.
“Of course, Mr Larsson. Call the agency and make the appointment. It was a pleasure to meet you. I'm glad that I could satisfy you and I'm pleased that I meet your expectations “. You smiled brightly at him. You were still captivated by his incredible aura.
“The pleasure is all mine. But there's one last thing…” You looked quizzically at him.
“I still don't know your name. What should I call you? “
“Sugar. You can call me Sugar.”
🌹🥂🌃🌹🥂🌃🌹🥂🌃🌹🥂🌃🌹🥂🌃
Taglist: (please let me know if you want to be added or removed)
@lokisprettygirl @fictive-sl0th @stupidthoughtsinwriting @fandxmslxt69 @chantsdemarins @justjoanne242 @lovingchoices14 @huntress-artemiss @smolvenger @lokixryss @anukulee @wheredafandomat
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foxherder · 4 months
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My Reading List Pt. 8
My reading recommendations! None of these are mine. Most of these are Loki x reader fics so I’ll only mark the characters if otherwise. I apologize for pings in advance!
Nsfw: 💜 | Fluff: 💖 | Angst: ❤️ | Dark: 🖤 | Agere: 💛 | None: 🧡 | TBR: 🤎 | My favs: 💙 | Festive: 🎄| Smuttish: ❤️‍🔥 | Birthday: 🥳 | Kinktober: 🎃 | BDSM: ⛓️
Headcanons
Wilbur smut HCs by @cathers-world 💜
Drabbles/Imagines
Dad's best friend Bucky x reader imagine by @becca-e-barnes 💜 (Bucky x reader, Nat x reader)
Why Do You Love Me by @daisybell17 💖
Being forced to marry King Loki by @sserpente 💜🎄
Oneshots
Dangerously Yours by @mischiefmaker615 ❤️‍🔥❤️💖
Kingdom of Secrets by @natsaffection 💜 (Natasha x reader)
The Riding Crop by @lokisgoodgirl 💜💙⛓️
Awful Things to You… by @layla4567 💜🖤💙
Forbidden Reunion by @bossbtch1 💜🖤
Not People by @heyitsme1040 💖
Too tired to entertain little boys by @wheredafandomat 💜 (professor Loki x reader)
Pt 2
On My Mind by @little-diable 💜💖 (professor Loki x reader)
Professor!Loki helping struggling student!reader by @lokisprettygirl 💜
Professor Laufeyson by @holdmytesseract 💜
Stay After Class by @lady-rose-moon 💜 (Professor Loki x reader)
Reading is Fun by @mischievoushiddleston 💜
Professor Laufeyson by @mischievoushiddleston 💜💙
Lonely Loops by @lettingtimepass ❤️💜 (Loki x Mobius)
Loki’s Tree by @irishhappiness 💖🎄
Secrets in the Library by @loki-is-daddy 💜
Her Puppy, His Goddess by @kenobis-kyber 💜⛓️
The Ceremony by @smolvenger 💜💖
The Love Contract by @xorpsbane 💖❤️‍🔥💙
I don’t like gifts by @ravenromanova 💜💖💙🎄
Birthday Delights by @loki-is-daddy 💜💖🥳
Unexpected Surprise by @moonstruck-poet 💖❤️ (Tom Hiddleston x reader)
A Tale of Stardom and Parenthood by @lokiforever 💖 (Tom Hiddleston x reader)
Putting Up the Christmas Tree by @mickeysplaytoy 💜💖🎄 (Bucky x reader)
12 Days of Smut #4 by @ellemj 💜🎄 (Bucky x reader)
Series
Winter Cabin by @kaycrowley 💖💙🎄
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Across the Multiverse by @simplyholl 💜❤️💖
Afterglow by @fictive-sl0th ❤️💜🤎
Invade Me Chronicles by @xorpsbane (multiple authors) 💜🖤🤎💙
Professor Laufeyson by @mischievoushiddleston 💜🤎 (Professor Loki x OFC)
Kinktober 2022 by @the-queen-of-hell-666 (multifandom) 💜🤎🎃
Under His Influence by @lokisprettygirl ❤️💖💜🤎
The Bodyguard by @lokisprettygirl ❤️💖💜
The Proposal by @michelleleewise ❤️💖💜💙
The Mischievous Adventures of Lokitty by @michelleleewise 💖🤎
The Villain’s Weapon by @simplyholl 💜
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Kinkmas by @ravenromanova 💜🤎💙🎄
Other Reading Lists
Reading List November 2023 by @mischief2sarawr 🤎💜💖❤️
Authors
@natsaffection Masterlist (Natasha x reader)
@so-easy-to-love-me Masterlist (multifandom)
@mischievoushiddleston Masterlist (multifandom)
@lowkeyorloki Masterlist
@theladyofmanyfandomsfanfiction Marvel Masterlist
@loki-is-daddy Masterlist
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13
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lokisprettygirl · 5 months
Text
Under his influence (Post Avengers! Loki x female reader)
Read chapter 36 here/ Series Masterlist
Chapter 37
Summary : Loki reminds you of the time you were made to forget.
Warning: 18+, Smut HUGE Canon divergence (Just me making shit up), timey wimey stuff topics dealing with cheating and falling out of love, infertility, discussion of pregnancy
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Since you met Loki things have been strange to say the least, turns out Stephen hadn't invited him to his birthday party for no reason, there was a threat looming over everything in the name of a mad Titan named Thanos but they fixed it, Avengers did, and Loki was one of them now. His popularity had increased since then, he was a hero, he was the one who knew all about Thanos and helped Avengers come up with a plan, he finally had his chance at redemption and you had a feeling he'd forget all about you slowly once he realizes what earth had to offer to him but he didn't.
After the war with Thanos had ended, he was there at your door bruised and hurt, his eyes were teary, for a moment you thought he'd kiss you but he didn't. You had no idea how hard it was for him to resist.
After tending to his wounds-even though he didn't need it, you grabbed a towel and passed it to him and you had no idea why his eyes welled up when you ruffled his hair and asked him to wash his hair. Maybe he didn't like it when you told him that he looked like a pine tree.
The more time you spent with him the more he felt like a dream come true, he was soft and precious but he was also protective and fierce everytime he was in public with you, he wasn't afraid to be seen with you, he treated you as if you belonged to him in every possible way and you didn't know how to feel about that.
He was famous now and you didn't understand why he'd choose you of all people but the way he looked at you at times made you feel as if you were loved so deeply by him but why would he love you that way? It has merely been two months since he knew you.
There was a celebration at the Avengers tower and he wanted to take you with him, you weren't his girlfriend, not yet, so you felt really nervous about it, however you didn't deny the offer, you just wanted to be around him as much as you could, you wanted to cross all the lines of decency and devour him but something held you back, maybe it was fear, you feared that he'd lose his interest in you once he had you in that way.
You had been in the same situation a plenty of times before and you didn't want to ruin this friendship you had built with him so you stayed quiet and kept your feelings to yourself.
---
Loki knew he had to tell you the truth sooner or later but he wanted to wait for the right moment, he wanted to gain your trust, your forgotten memories would feel too much at once and he didn't want to scare you away from him or make you feel as if he'd harm you or manipulate you in any ways.
That night at the tower as you accompanied him to the celebration he took you to his room, the room you both had been in countless times in other realities but you didn't remember, that's when he showed you his real self, his jotun form.
He just wanted to see how you'd react when you weren't really in love with him in the way you were before but the moment you hugged his giant blue body so tightly and showed no sign of discomfort, whatever miniscule amount of insecurity he had vanished as well.
You were made for him, just for him and he'd never let you go again.
"Happy birthday darling" you smiled as you heard his voice on the phone, so deep and raspy, his voice was one of the many countless reasons you were awake at night these days with your fingers playing with yourself.
"Thank you mister..you said you'd come see me but I don't see you here" you mumbled softly, you were in the kitchen making a cup of tea for yourself, you weren't really enthusiastic about turning 37 but having a new friend in life, a friend that actually cared about you was nice, you had no idea how you'd get over him if someday he'd leave you as well.
"You'd see me if you come to the door" as soon as he said that you leaped towards the door and there he was, in a fancy suit while you looked your usual homeless self. That was another thing you didn't quite understand, he never made you feel as if you had to pretend to be something you were not in front of him.
"What's the occasion?" You asked him as you looked at his fancy self so he smiled and walked closer to you to kiss your forehead.
"It's your birthday and I want to take you somewhere"
"I have to get ready?" you groaned so he cupped your cheeks and kissed the top of your head this time, his soft little kisses always made you yearn for more.
"You can come with me just the way you are love, you look beautiful" he mumbled in your ears as he kissed your cheek, you felt your skin tingling, one of these days you were going to cross all those boundaries you had confined yourself in.
"I'm not going out like this lo" he chuckled as you said that, you asked him to sit down on the couch as you went to the bedroom to change.
He liked this new place you had now but he didn't like it as much as he liked your old tiny apartment. He missed that place and if he was going to tell you the truth, it would be right there. That's where he had ended up the first time, that's when he had seen the prettiest girl in all of existence.
The place that had changed the course of his life should also be the one to change yours.
Once you got ready he teleported you both to your old place, just outside the door.
"Are we here to see Mrs Geller?" You chuckled as you asked him so he shook his head and took out a key to open the apartment you used to live in for what felt like ages ago.
"Why do you have the key?" There was a look of confusion on your face so he smiled to assure you, he hoped he wasn't coming across as a deranged killer.
"I own it now"
"You do?"
"Yes sweetheart"
As you entered the apartment you couldn't believe your eyes, you had left this place when you got married to Stephen, other tenants arrived and left in the meantime so you were surprised to see it look the same way you used to keep it, the furniture and by furniture you meant that ugly little sofa was still there, it even had the tiny little bed you had bought for yourself which surprised you because you had a feeling the other tenant had replaced it..
"I used to live here"
You turned around to look at him so he smiled,
"I know..do you trust me?" he asked you as he approached you so you nodded almost immediately. You trusted him with all your heart.
"What's going on lo?" You asked him softly, you did feel a bit apprehensive of the situation but it wasn't because of him, deep down in your heart you knew he'd never hurt you.
He hesitated before speaking, trying to find the right words to convey what he needed to say. "I need to tell you something important," he finally began. "It may be a lot to take in, and I know it's not easy, but it's something that happened to us, to me and you"
He looked at you with a mix of nervousness and excitement , not wanting to overwhelm you
"What do you mean? I don't understand" He cupped your cheeks and placed his forehead down on yours, his thumbs grazed over your cheekbones gently,
"Have you ever felt as if you were missing something, a part of your life that you couldn't remember?" He asked you softly and he could see the conflicting look in your eye,
"I did..all my life but more since I got older..i ..what's going on lo?" You asked him, suddenly feeling extremely anxious about what was to come..
"This is going to feel a lot at once my darling, but I need you to put your faith in me" Before you could say something else his fingers grazed over your temples and you finally recalled everything you had forgotten. Was it really forgotten or you never ever lived it at all? You couldn't figure it out just yet, he wasn't wrong it did feel overwhelming.
You saw it all, you went back to 2012 and you were here in the kitchen threatening him with a knife and then you remembered everything that had happened between you two after that. The friendship that bloomed, falling in love with each other..visit from Stephen and other Loki, reversing the timeline and then losing him again and then again, you suddenly had all those memories including the life you had lived in the past few years.
Your head was threatening to explode so you took a step away from him, he could tell that you felt scared of the situation and were trying to rationalize it, that's why he had to remember you because this would have been so much more difficult if he didn't.
"Princess"
You broke down into a fit of cry as he addressed you like that, the memories hit you like a wave in that moment and you weren't sure if you wanted to hold on or get swept away in it. It was like being pulled in two directions at once - you wanted to hold on to the memories and not forget, but at the same time, the pain and heartbreak that came with those memories was almost too much to bear. You weren't sure if you wanted to cling to the past or let it go, but either way, you knew that this moment would change everything.
"What is going on" you gulped as you questioned him, voice choked on your own tears, that was all you could manage to say to him.
Seven years you had been separated from him, for seven years you had to suffer just so the world could go on and be the way it was destined to be.
"I know it's a lot to take in sweetheart"
"You bet it is..i ..I don't...Oh god" you felt dizzy and he was immediately by your side to grab a hold of you, he'd never let you fall again "How did i…how could I forget you like that? Lokiii ..how couldn't i remember you..whyy didn't i remember you?" you whimpered as you looked up at him.
If you loved him so deeply then how did you forget?
"Because that's how it was supposed to be my love.. none of this was your fault" he placed his forehead down on yours and allowed you to cry because he knew after this he'd never ever make you cry like this again.
When you didn't remember him you felt so hollow and it all made sense now but now that you did remember him you couldn't fathom how you had gone seven years without him. It felt impossible.
"Please tell me we are going to be okay now, please I can't..I can't do this again baby" the pet name rolled off your lips so naturally that it didn't even make you flinch, all of a sudden you felt as if the life you had been living in the past seven years was an alternate reality that has never happened to you,
"I'm never ever leaving you again..I gave you my word didn't i? I'd tear apart the multiverse if it means I'd get to have you by my side"
He assured you and as he felt your arms around him everything was back to how it was supposed to be. He picked you up in his arms and walked towards the bed to lay you down on it, your face looked swollen from all the crying and he found it so adorable, as he took his jacket off you thought he was going to make love to you but as soon as he laid down next to you and snuggled himself against you, you knew he just needed to hold you in his arms. And you needed it desperately too.
That's how you both stayed there for what felt like hours even though it's barely been minutes..
"Lo?"
"Mmm"
"Who made you remember? Did she come?" You asked him so he looked at you and his eyes were filled with tears,
"She didn't have to make me remember" he propped himself on his elbows as he rubbed his face with his hand,
"What do you mean?"
"My memories weren't erased, i wanted to remember" you sat up on the bed as he said that, he had a feeling this would make you upset.
"Why? Why did you remember?" You asked him, you were shocked to say the least,
"So I could make you remember me when the right time would come..i didn't want to live without your memories.. didn't want to take a risk . I wanted to make sure I'd end up here with you" your eyes teared up so you crawled towards him and hugged him tightly,
"You remembered? How did you..god lo" you couldn't understand how he went seven years this way, waiting for the right moment to come back to you, you don't think you'd have been so strong and able to do the same and maybe that's why you had to forget him.
As you pulled away you kissed him as lovingly as you could and he pressed his head between the crook of your neck to suck on the soft exposed skin, your eyes fixated at the kitchen area and it felt surreal.
Time had come full circle.
Being here with him in the apartment where you had seen him the first time felt unreal, it felt like a dream but it was your reality, a beautiful reality that you'd get to live now.
"Do you want to do this?" He asked softly, always needing your consent even though his fingers were already fiddling with the zipper of your dress, instead of answering him with words you took his shirt off and that was all he needed.
He laid you down on the bed and he didn't even need to do much, you were already dripping wet for him so he waved his fingers and there was a condom in his hand,
"It's old..I sure hope it won't rip sweetheart"
You chuckled as he said that before your eyes teared up as you remembered something.
"It's ok..I can't..ummm I'm not really fertile" you gulped as you told him that but instead of a frown or worry there was a smile on his face,
"You are perfectly fertile my love"
"No you don't understand – with Stephen ..we tried ..i–" he placed his finger on your lips as you began to stutter.
"Shhhhh don't remind me of the fact that he got to touch you like that"
"I'm sorry..I'm sorry..did you ummm..did you sleep with other people?"
"Nooooo.."
"You haven't had sex in seven years?" Your eyes widened in surprise as you questioned him, sure he remembered you but he was a man, with needs, how did he not give into the temptations?
"You really think I'd betray you like that princess?"
"Lokiii..i wouldn't..god i love you" you wrapped your arms around his neck as you pulled him closer to you to kiss him, a gasp escaped your lips as he slipped his cock inside you at the same time, building up a slow rhythm he kept his eyes on you, reeling in every second of this glorious moment..
"Haven't you noticed something?" He asked you so you looked at him intently,
"What?'
"You haven't aged a day since you turned thirty?"
"I have..I'm older now lo" you giggled and norns he had missed all of this so badly he still felt as if he was in a dream.
"You feel that way but you don't look so" your eyes flickered in confusion as he said that, "That last day..the last time we fucked against your wardrobe, I did something to you.. without your permission and I'd apologise but I'm not even apologetic about it"
"What do you mean?" You smiled as you questioned, nothing he said would faze you anymore he had figured but he needed to come clean.
"I didn't use contraception that night, you remember?"
"Mmm" you mumbled as you tucked his hair behind his ears,
"I took you as my mate, not just as a god but as a Jotunn. We are a different species altogether, destined to have one partner for life, one to wed and mate with until death do us part. I planted my seed within you, it's waiting to be flourished whenever you'd become ready to be the mum, and from that moment on, you became my chosen one, unable to have another man's children"
Your mouth stayed open as you processed the information, that's why you weren't able to get pregnant even though your body was completely healthy "I'm sorry I made that decision for you, you can choose to leave yourself out whenever you desire princess, I'd never ever force you to be with me"
"Shutup ..lo" you flipped him underneath you as he said that, your hips rolled back and forth as you began to ride him slowly. Was this supposed to make you upset? You didn't know, Maybe you'd have felt so if it was some other man but you knew loki would never ever do anything to hurt you "You could have just told me lo"
"You wouldn't have remembered"
"I know..did you do it to stop me from aging? Holy shit am I immortal now?"
"Not immortal..you'd just age the same way I do"
"Thousands of years…together?" Your eyes teared up as you looked at him so he cupped your cheeks and as his thumb grazed over your lips you sucked on his digit and an indecent moan escaped his throat,
"Forever my love, you'd be mine forever..that's not why I did it though" you looked at him confused as he said that, "It was atrocious enough that I had to watch you belong to another man for those years, there's no way I'd have allowed him to breed you in such a way"
You smiled as he said that, he was so possessive and you loved that. As you made love to him all night, you still felt as if you were in a fever dream where everything was going your way and you were living the life you had always desired but for once life was on your side. For once time was your friend.
It all made sense now, you were destined to be his forever, that's why you had felt so lonely all your life, feeling as if you were missing a part of your existence, now you knew he always had it with him.
"I dated Mark Johnson" your eyes widened as you remembered that, before you married Strange you dated this other doctor for a while, he was nice but he wasn't the love of your life, none of them were.
Everything made sense now, you gave Loki the fake name in the first timeline because you were supposed to date a man with the same name in the future, the future Loki you met in the first reality one was this same Loki that was underneath you at the moment who went to the alternate reality to warn him of his own future.
"Marry me darling..I can't take it no more..I need to tell the world you belong to me" he asked you as he pulled out a ring out of nowhere, you remembered the ring, it was the same one he had given you before, but this time you knew he belonged to you the way you belonged to him, he had waited and he was only yours for seven years.
All the fears, the trauma, the insecurities you had vanished in that moment. You knew you'd marry him for the reasons this time.
You remembered what Loki had told you, your loki, this loki, he knew.
"So will we really get married in the future?"
"In six months of meeting each other"
It all made sense now.
💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚
Note: Just one more chapter left/ more like an epilogue.
Taglist
@annoyingsweetsstranger @mcufan72 @nixymarvelkins @stupidthoughtsinwriting @fictive-sl0th @eleniblue @violethaze @anukulee @ladymischief11 @12-pm-510 @wolfsmom1 @whylokiissocute @pics-and-fanfics @daddylokisqueen @olivertwistrabbit @blog-the-lilly @prettylittlepluviophile @vanilla-daydreaming @somewiseguy @yaaamadaa-blog @dragonmurray @elthreetimes @gruftiela @thenotoriouserg @greep215 @yallgotkik @janineb86 @sflame15-blog @nyxlaufeyson @lokidokieokie @purplekitten30 @nikkig496-blog @frozenhuntress67 @qardasngan @rosecentury @lokiswife-dark-fox-queen @hrefna-the-raven @jennyggggrrr
@cosniffee @lotsoflokilove23 @oreo-cream @aesonmae @salvinaa
226 notes · View notes
moonstruck-poet · 4 months
Text
For All Time
Pairing - Loki x fem!reader
Summary - the reader was Loki's bestfriend since childhood until teenage and he was in love with her but maybe they were just never meant to be.
Warnings - death
Requested by - @akshinayak I reaally hope it was good enough and tysm for the request!
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They say breaking up with your partner hurts the most. That's not true, Loki thought to himself. They say falling out of love hurts the most. That's not true, he thought.
"What really hurt-" he whispered to himself and clenched his jaw. His crown of long, black horns feeling a lot burdensome. "-Is knowing that you would've had a chance, would've had a future together. But you didn't. All because of your own selfish reasons and insecurities".
He scoffed, leaning back onto his new throne, one that he ironically had no intentions of wanting and gripped the handle.
The frustration about himself melting away to make way for deep, agonizing pain and heartbreak as he caught onto a thread of your lifeline.
Loki's lips were tightly pressed together when he decided to watch over you, something that he had done last night itself. He couldn't help himself, seeing as your condition was deteriorating day by day.
With a deep sigh leaving his lungs, he closed his eyes, head leaning back against the throne as a certain memory drifted into focus. Putting everything else on hold.
"Fancy any one of them, do you?" Your playful voice asked when he looked at various pictures of princesses.
"Absolutely not," he slammed the last one on the table.
"Pity. I would've loved to see my best friend getting married".
Best Friend. He gritted his teeth, running a hand through the long locks and looking out of the window. That's all he would ever be. A best friend. Nothing more. Never.
Despite being able to sense emotions and read people well, the God of Mischief failed to recognise your feelings. He somehow never took notice of your lingering touches, of your constant staring and looking at him as though he had hung the stars."
Do you have anyone in your mind Loki?" You asked quietly and stood next to him. His emerald irises clashing against your golden-brown ones. "You can tell me, you know?"
You. Its always been you.
He wanted to scream it out loud, wanted to yell and make the whole world know the fact that it was you whom he had fallen for.
"There's no one," he answered abruptly and completely avoided your gaze, and in the meanwhile also not noticing the way your eyes seemed to dull.
He had loathed himself for every passing second after that incident. How different would life have been had he confessed his feelings right then?
He would still have to go through everything, but at least he could've had you right by his side. And that alone would've made all the difference in the world.
He swallowed the misery before regaining control and finally looking at you from high above. But in an instant his facade broke, face contorting in pain upon seeing your weak and frail body. A startling contrast to the strong and regal woman that you had once been.
"Oh my love," he whispered to himself, his eyes raking over every little change that had taken place in the short course of twenty four hours.
You had injured yourself, heavily. A group of oursiders had somehow managed to invade your territory, catching everyone off guard and naturally you had taken the lead.
Fighting alongside Lady Sif and your husband, Alvis.
Another painful wound struck his heart when he saw the said person entering your room, his face drowned in sorrow and desperation.
"How are you, my queen?" Alvis sat down next to her.. Next to his queen, Loki said in his mind.
"I am fine," you smiled back, your expression the epitome of exhaustion.
"Rest, yes?" He said and took her hands in his, caressing the skin. "I will be back soon enough, have to go through some work".
Loki watched as you barely managed to nod, he watched as your loving husband pressed a kiss on your forehead, something that he was supposed to do.
A harsh breath escaped his throat and he let go of the branch, his heart not being able to see its other half being in immense pain.
He had no rights, absolutely none to want himself to be in the place of your husband. He was selfish, arrogant, entitled, pessimistic whereas Alvis was the complete opposite.
You had found yourself a man who loved and worshipped you exactly the way you were supposed to be. He could've never been able to do that. You deserved someone so much better than him. Always.
"Would it be so bad, hmm?" You questioned softly, searching his eyes for an answer.
"I fail to understand what you are talking about," he muttered and looked anywhere but at you.
"I think you understand perfectly enough".
He didn't answer and walked away, because what else was he supposed to do?
"Is the idea how us getting merried so bad that you can't even look at me?" You asked, a small smile on your face.
"I did not say that".
"You surely implied that".
"I-" he cut himself off and turned to face you, his expression holding anger. "I do not wish to get married," he stated, his eyes glaring into yours but you were barely fazed.
"Okay," was all you could say and Loki immediately noticed the way your face changed drastically. You tried to offer him a smile, but for once he saw right through that.
"Okay," you repeated again, backing away from him, taking one step at a time which lead to a huge barrier between the two.
He merely watched you leave, rooted the spot. He probably didn't know it, but he had lost you at that moment. Not as friends no, you would always continue being friends. No one in the universe could possibly break one of the strongest bonds between two people.
"I love you," he whispered to the now empty room, falling down to his knees as a lone tear slipped down his cheek. "Always".
Loki let out a bitter laugh at the memories. Out of all the things he could've said, he uttered the most bitter lies.
He was a changed man now. He replayed all those moments in his head, being able to see all the chances that he had lost. Seeing just how hurt you had been from every selfish comment he had made.
What would he give to go back and change everything instantly.
It was unfathomable, the amount of love his entire being held for simply one person. Nobody ever came close, and never would. He may have been a narcissist, an arrogant liar, a tricking asshole.
But there was one thing that nobody else could do other than him. And that was to love you, adore you in such a way that a mere hiccup in your life caused him pain. To care for you like you held his lifeline in your rough, scarred, but soft hands. To want you in a way that nobody had done before.
Because that's how Loki has. If he loved someone, he loved them enough to terrify himself about the lengths he would go for, namely for the person's happiness.
He had done so countless of times for you, and unknown to him, you had cherished every single minute of those special occasions. Keeping them so close to your heart that they bloomed whenever you were happy and blocked your breathing when you were devastated.
He was lost in thought, but a sudden tug in his chest pulled him out. Loki frowned at the strange feeeling, his intuiton telling him something terrible had happened.
His breathing quickened as he gripped the branch, your branch, noticing the fading green light causing sweat to erupt on his forehead and neck.
"No, no no no," he chanted, feeling as though the world had collapsed upon seeing the scene in front of him. "No," he whispered, heart slowly but surely shattering.
He watched Alvis, tapping your cheek frantically and gently shaking your body as he yelled for the doctors to be brought. "Stay with me, my queen. The doctors are coming, please, stay with me!"
Sif was on your other side, holding one of your hand in hers, pressing the back to her lips. "I'm sorry," she whispered in between tears as her body shook.
Your face, Loki saw and swallowed. It was still as beautiful as ever. Those golden-brown eyes that made him catch his breath everytime he glanced your way, those sharp eyebrows arching whenever you narrowed your eyes playfully and that gorgeous smile that you presently held.
"I'm okay," you croaked out, "I'm alright".
The two people surrounding you simply cried harder at that, bowing their heads and pressing the back of your hand to their temple. Their way of paying respect to the bravest warrior they'd seen.
Loki's chest felt empty, as though his heart too was slowly dying, following his soulmate to the afterlife. Silent tears were flowing down his cheeks without a halt. There was only one thing he could think of to do now and he did just that.
Your eyes were half open, understanding that your end was nearing soon and you didn't have any regrets. You had lived a beautiful life inspite of the hardships.
But then a sudden warmth made you open your eyes completely for one last time. Your head tilted to see the rays of light gushing in through the open window, bathing your entire body in its glow.
You didn't fail to notice the green tint that was present and your heart skipped a beat, despite already being in a fragile state. "Loki," you whispered, your voice barely audible but the one who needed to hear it heard his name clearly.
And you took your final breath, a content smile on your face as your eyes closed.
His soul shattered next, everything suddenly feeling cold all of a sudden as he slumped back in his throne, breathing heavily and swallowing harshly.
"Rest easy, my love. I will love you, for all time, always," he said to the skies.
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colonelarr0w · 8 months
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Hey! May I request a Loki x reader, where you know in dsmom where amercia shows wanda her kids and they get scared of her? What if loki is corrupted by the darkhold cause he wants to go to the reality the reader is and amercia and him are fighting and amercia shows him the reader and the reader sees corrupted loki choking amercia and immediately calls out other loki and corrupted loki furious at amercia and calls out to the reader. Other loki tries to protect the reader, but corrupted loki yells at the reader that his her real husband and tells other loki to get away from her before throwing him across the room and reader throws pots or pans at corrupted loki and he tries to ask her to stop (nicely) before snapping and yelling at her to stop and the reader hides and begs loki to not hurt her and he tries to reassure her that he would never hurt her and that his not a monster but he realizes what his done and sees reader go over to other loki. So corrupted loki destroys the darkhold as well as himself. I hope this is acceptable 🙏 😌.
Hi there! I can't express how much I absolutely adore this idea. I hope you enjoy reading this just as much as I enjoyed writing it!
Also side note, you can all begin sending in requests for Loki and other Marvel characters, I'd be more than happy to start writing for them!
Better Than This
Pairing - Loki Laufeyson x ! Female ! Reader
Plot Description - He was going to do anything to get you back, even if it meant risking the fabric of your reality.
Warnings - mature themes, foul language, Loki is very aggressive, canon Marvel violence
Word Count - 2.0k
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He had done so much…so much to get here. 
“You pathetic child, thinking that you are above the power of a God,” he seethes, his teeth bared like a caged animal as he reaches for America, fingers locking around the girl’s throat as he drags her towards him, glaring down his nose at her. 
With a shaky hand, America conjures a star, pushing her wrist forward so that it drifts over herself and Loki. The atmosphere around them changes, gone are the ancient pillars and ceremonial markings, as well as the disgusting beasts that Loki had controlled in an attempt to keep America and Strange from foiling his plans.
His grip falters as he begins to recognize where America had taken him. The decor, the furniture, everything about the small home felt familiar. Loki swallows the growing lump in his throat, eyes falling on a familiar figure as you appear at the second-floor landing of the stairs. 
“(Y/N),” Loki mumbles out, already reaching a free hand out to you, hoping that you’ll run into his arms just as you had done all of those years ago. But instead, you seem to freeze, staring down at him with eyes that are glazed over with a fear that he had never seen before. 
He releases his hold on America, turning his body to fully face the staircase in front of him. His eyes soften as he reaches a hand out to you, hoping that you’ll realize he isn’t there to hurt you, nor would he ever hurt you. 
And yet, you retract away from him, eyes flicking from his hands to his eyes. Those weren’t Loki’s eyes, those were the eyes of a crazed man, a man who was willing to tear apart Earth and sea for a woman that wasn’t even his. 
“Loki!” you call out, already making your way down the stairs, body pressed against the railing to keep as far away from him as possible. He feels helpless as he watches, lips parted slightly as you slink down the stairs, turning into the kitchen and into the arms of…
…himself.
His jaw clicks as he sets it in place, eyes narrowing now at this alternate version of himself. Why was he allowed to be happy here? Why not on his world? Why did he have to mourn your loss, while there was another version of him with you alive?
“Get away from her!” Loki yells out, taking a step forward and flicking his wrist to the side. You let out a yelp as your Loki is pulled from you, and flung across the entirety of the kitchen before tumbling to the ground. 
“Stop this!” you yell, tears clinging to your lashes as you turn to face him. He can see the shake in your body, how you don’t dare to take a step closer to him. He can already feel his heart begin to shatter in his chest, this wasn’t how his reunion with you was supposed to go. He had hoped that you would rush to him, embrace him, tell him how much you’d missed him.
But instead, he was scaring you, he was making you fear him. You were shaking…all because of him. You weren’t supposed to fear him, no, you were supposed to love him. 
“My love-” He pauses as you take a step back and away from him, your back pressed flat against the countertops. Your eyes continue to flick away from him, your focus on the version of him that belonged to this universe. Your Loki groans lightly, pushing himself onto his forearms and tilting his head to better look at you. You stare at him through teary eyes, hoping and praying that he would come to your aid before something detrimental were to occur. 
Reaching behind you, you feel the cool metal of a pan’s handle. Without thinking twice, you grab it, twisting your arm and tossing the pan directly at Loki, watching as it connects with his chest. He stumbles for a moment, staring up at you through shocked eyes. He opens his mouth to speak but is cut off by another pan hitting his chest. 
“Stop that,” he says quietly, lifting his hands as you toss a pot at him this time. He takes a step forward, only to be met with another pan as you fling it at him. “Stop it.”
You reach for another pan, reeling your arm back in preparation to throw it when Loki snaps. His eyes burn with a rage you had never seen before, eyebrows furrowed to create a small wrinkle in his forehead. “Stop that!” he yells, his voice strong and laced with anger. You falter, dropping the pan to the ground with a clatter.
“Don’t hurt me, please,” you say, raising your hands in front of your chest in surrender. Loki can practically hear his heart shattering, his chest feels tight, and his legs sway as he takes a step back from you. He shakes his head, glancing down at his hands before his gaze returns to you. 
“Hurt you? I’d never. Never,” he breathes out, shaking his head back and forth. He takes another step back, feeling the wind from the universe that he belonged to, its chill sending a shiver down his spine. He glances at America, who only watches with a knowing glint in her eyes. 
His attention turns back to you, watching through teary eyes as your Loki rushes to you, wrapping you in a tight embrace. Your face presses into the crook of his neck, hugging his midsection tightly as you seek comfort in his arms. 
Loki takes another step back, sinking to his knees as his gaze falls to the floor beneath him. His hands lay flat against the floor, palms pressing against the cool hardwood as his chest tightens again, bringing with it the familiar feeling of burning tears. 
His eyes fall shut, the first tears slipping down his cheeks as the realization sinks in. You weren’t his, not anymore anyway. And though it hurts to realize, he knows that you were better off with an alternate version of him, one that would care for you and make sure that you were safe. You were better off without him, without the baggage and without the evil that rested in the depths of his chest. 
Loki’s head snaps upward at the sound of footsteps, blinking past the tears in his eyes. Though he’s angry, he doesn’t shift as your Loki approaches him, staring down at him through sympathetic eyes. He reaches a hand out, placing it lightly atop Loki’s head and smiling reassuringly.
“Know that she is cared for,” your Loki says quietly, being sure that only Loki can hear the words that fall from his lips. Loki sighs shakily, nodding his head as your Loki retracts his hand, then crosses the short distance back to you, wrapping you in another comforting embrace. 
Loki bows his head, feeling the tears fall from his eyes as America closes the star, bringing him back to the reality that he had hoped to escape from. His shoulders shake with the weight of his own guilt, face falling into his hands as his fingernails scrape roughly against his hair, no doubt leaving scratches.
The sight of your terrified face etches itself into the backs of his eyelids, how you had resorted to throwing things at him to ensure your own safety, how you sought comfort in the arms of a version of him who would never harm you. In every other universe he was meant to have you, he just happened to be dealt a bad hand in this one. 
His eyes slowly open, stray tears still dripping down his cheeks as he pushes himself to stand, legs lightly shaking as he struggles to balance himself. He walks to the center of the ancient site, resting his hands against the stone markings and letting out a breath that he had no idea he had been holding. 
“The Darkhold should not have this much power over me, therefore,” he pauses for a moment, turning his head just enough to catch America’s gaze. He holds it for a moment, sending her what he hopes is a reassuring smile before turning back to the stone markings. “I must destroy it, so nobody else wanders down this riddled path.”
Without a second thought tracing his mind, Loki hoists himself onto the center of the stone marking, inhaling deeply as he stares forward. His hands raised, palms glowing that familiar emerald green. He glances quickly again at America, nodding at her. She returns his nod, quietly turning herself away from him.
In a flash of blue, America is gone, and Loki is alone once again. He had grown used to the feeling though, as his loneliness followed him like a shadow, forever peeking over his shoulder as he completed even the most mundane of tasks. 
It had been that way for years, ever since that day when he had found you. Ever since that day when he had wailed for you and mourned your loss. From that day forth, everything had been different:
“(Y/N)! Where are you? I’m right here!” 
“Loki…?” The weakness in your voice drops Loki’s heart to the depths of his stomach. His running slows to a brisk walk as his eyes fall on you, lying flat on your back with your head tilted just enough that your gaze is fixed on him. 
“Oh darling,” Loki’s voice cracks as he rushes to your side, kneeling beside you and adjusting your body, draping it halfway over his lap. His hand cradles the back of your head, eyes already burning with the familiar sensation of tears as he stares down at you.
“I tried…I tried to protect everyone,” you mumble, choking slightly as a thin trail of blood trickles down from the corner of your mouth. He flashes you a tight-lipped smile, swiping a thumb over your skin, not caring as your blood stains his finger. 
“I know sweetheart, and you did a wonderful job,” Loki whispers to you, lips trembling as the first few tears make their way down his face. You blink as they fall against your cheek, eyes softening as you urge your lips to curl upward in what you hope is a reassuring smile. 
“Don’t cry,” you say quietly, lifting a shaky hand to cradle the side of Loki’s face. He shudders as your skin touches his, trying his absolute hardest to not begin breaking down in front of you. He wanted to be strong for you, especially in your final moments. 
“I love you,” your voice breaks the silence that had been hanging over the both of you, smiling again as you cough, now choking on your own blood. Loki stifles a cry, his arms tightening around you as he nods. 
“I love you so much darling, more than you’ll ever know,” he wills himself to speak, feeling his heart crack as he notices how dim your eyes had become. The hand on his face drops to the floor with a painful thud, reminding Loki that he hadn’t been able to save you. 
His eyes screw shut, his arms pull your face into his neck as he curls your body into his, hugging you tightly. His shoulders shake as he cries, and for a moment, the world goes utterly and completely silent.
“I’m sorry (Y/N),” Loki mumbles to nobody but himself, his hands still raised. He can feel the surrounding walls lift in tune with his arms; this was it. 
All of the damage, all of the pain that he had caused, he was going to end all of it. Surely you would be waiting for him, with your eyes bright and with your lips pulled upward into that smile that shone through even on the bleakest of days. You would hold him, just as you had done all those years ago, and he would feel safe.
He can hear it now. He can hear the stone pillars begin to crumble and the temple begin to give out; this was it. It was all over now, he could be in peace with you, and that would be the end of it all.
“Loki?”
His head snaps upward, ears perked at the sound of that voice. That voice. 
Loki blinks quickly, eyes fixed on a figure that had knelt in front of him, their head tilted slightly and their lips curled upward in a smile. That smile.
“(Y/N)?” 
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