#hope this is helpful lol given how long I spent writing it

[reasonsforhope]

I keep seeing news about charges and what-not being piled onto Trump, and all I can keep saying to myself is "but is he going to experience one (1) single consequence of this?" So... is there any iota of a hope that something could come of this circus that will make the slightest ding in his capacity to run in 2024?

So, the answer to this is a bit complicated - partly because there are a lot of factors and a long time scale, and partly because it depends on how you define "consequences"

If you mean "any serious consequences at all," good news, that has already happened!

If you need to catch up on the whole "cases against Trump" situation, read this: The Cases Against Trump: A Guide. Via The Atlantic, November 1, 2023

1. The New York Fraud Case

A judge has ordered that the Trump Organization must be dissolved in a ruling that is being widely described as a "corporate death penalty." This is an incredibly rare ruling, and a huge deal.

The details will take a while to hash out - currently, Trump's kids are in the middle of testifying in a trial for this fraud case, but it's not to determine whether he's guilty - only the extent of the damages and the outline of how the org will be dissolved. It's extraordinarily unlikely Trump will be able to get out of this one. And high up on the list of things he's probably going to lose? Trump Tower itself.

Now, admittedly, this actually isn't because of, you know, the whole attempted coup thing. It's because the Trump Organization's finances were built on decades of absolutely massive fraud - including the very wealth that Trump lied about in order to explain why people should vote for him.

Oh, and let's not forget that in this case, Donald Trump spent weeks absolutely shit talking the judge to try to "poison the jury pool" (make sure that people on the jury would go in with a negative opinion of the judge already). ONLY TO FIND OUT THAT THERE IS NO JURY IN THIS CASE because his attorneys forgot to request one, so the sole arbiter of his fate is the judge he just spent weeks absolutely slandering in an attempt to win over the jury! And all else aside, judges very infamously do not like being insulted

Oh yeah, and the prosecutors are seeking a permanent ban on Trump doing business in the state of New York

Fraud trial explainer (New York Times, no paywall) Sources: x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x

2. 14th Amendment Lawsuit

Okay so I did all the other sections first, then came back and wrote this one. It's shorter because of that, and because this issue is a lot newer and doesn't have nearly as much legal stuff or investigations going on yet.

What's happening here is that several states have people who are filing petitions and lawsuits to try to get Trump taken off the ballot for the 2024 election, under the 14th Amendment, which was passed in the aftermath of the Civil War and bars anyone who has committed insurrection from holding office.

So far (as of the first week of November, there are cases to kick Trump off the ballot in about 20 states. Oral arguments have started in Colorado and Minnesota.

Basically, my take on the short version is that this could happen, but we'll have to wait at least a few more months to see how likely it is.

However, even if it does go through, Trump would only be kicked off the ballot on a state by state basis. So, if Colorado kicks him off the ballot, he'll still be on the ballot in the other 49 states, and the process would have to be repeated in each one. Still, even if it was just one state, that could be a big deal, voting-wise - and if he gets kicked off the ballot in more than a couple states, he might not end up being the Republican nominee anymore, given the size of that disadvantage.

Correction, 6 min after posting: It's expected that if Trump DOES get kicked off the ballot in any state, the Supreme Court will hear the case and weigh in. The decision would be binding for all states. Supreme Court probably unlikely to ban Trump from the ballot since they cheated their way into a conservative supermajority and 3 of them are Trump appointees

Explainer: Trial to kick Trump off the ballot in Colorado Explainer: Strengths and weaknesses of cases to kick Trump off the ballot Sources: x, x, x, x, x, x, x

3. The Classified Documents Case

So, the fraud case above is actually a civil case (that is, not a criminal case). The classified documents case, however, is a criminal case, and it's arguably the one most likely to lead to legal and political consequences for Trump, in large part because everything's very clear cut.

Like, Trump has literally admitted he retained classified documents on purpose - which is super against the law! Trump is just arguing a variety of nonexistent technicalities for why that law doesn't apply to him. But he did it! We know he did! We have photos of classified documents stored in the Mar-a-Lago bathroom! We have testimony from the employees he ordered to secretly move the boxes before the FBI probe. We have records proving he asked Mar-a-Lago's IT guy about erasing the surveillance footage of the move! We even have proof that a) he stole nuclear secrets, and b) a recording of him waving around the "plans of attack," bragging about them to other people!

All super damning.

(Post continues below, at length; sources at the end of each section.)

And another thing that's extremely key: Trump is charged in this case with violating the Espionage Act. And the Espionage Act explicitly does not give a single fuck about why you retained documents, or whether there's any proof you intended to show anyone. Any and all hoarding of national defense documents is illegal under the Espionage Act - EVEN if they're not classified, which is great since "I declassified them with my brain" (not how it works) is Trump's main defense here.

So, this case is basically the surest criminal conviction - and the most likely to have electoral consequences. Partly because Republicans, as few issues as they care about, generally are security hawks - "Trump stole nuclear secrets and showed them to people" is giving Repubs pause in a way that the insurrection just isn't, probably esp in the military and ex-military demographic.

Trump could also serve jail time if convicted in this case (which again he probably will be).

However, violating the Espionage Act doesn't ban you from running for or holding public office, which imho seems like a pretty major oversight.

Classified documents case explainer Sources: x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x

4. The Insurrection

So, this is where things get really complicated, because the case is complicated and so many things about it are so unprecedented.

There are two different cases here: a criminal case in the state of Georgia and a federal criminal case (that's the one run by Special Counsel Jack Smith, who is also running the classified documents case).

I definitely can't summarize all of this huge situation here, but here's some key points re: whether there will be legal consequences:

I actually have a pretty high level of trust in Jack Smith, in large part due to his record: he's serving as special prosecutor while on sabbatical from his normal job of prosecuting war crimes at the Hague. And he's specifically been prosecuting war crimes from the wars and genocides in former Yugoslavia in the 80s and 90s. That specifically gives me a lot of confidence because - as someone whose family is from the region - I think it's a really strong demonstration of his abilities. It means he has a lot of experience prosecuting high-level government and army officials, in a complicated, multi-year, multi-war conflict, where there were way more sides and factions than we have, along with way less documentary evidence (bc 90s), and a lot of history of political corruption and coverups. I find that really reassuring, especially the "experience prosecuting high-level government and army officials" thing in a situation with, shall we say, extremely contested and variable national leadership, during the course of multiple civil wars

"Schwendiman compared it to prosecuting Kosovo’s equivalent of Benjamin Franklin and Alexander Hamilton. “If you indict these people, you’re saying, ‘The founding fathers of Kosovo have committed atrocities, and I’m ready to prove it, in an independent court, with independent judges and rules that apply to everyone.’” And that was Kosovo's founding president. So yeah, I think Jack Smith can handle Trump. Source

Okay now to the points you might have actually heard of lol

The Georgia case is a state level case, which means that no matter what, Trump can't pardon himself in that case

The Georgia case is also charging Trump under the RICO act - aka the rackeeting act, usually used to prosecute organized crime. And convictions under the Georgia RICO Act come with MANDATORY jail time

I think the evidence here is pretty compelling, see: the congressional Jan 6 hearings

There is a pretty high chance that, in a massively unusual step, filming will be allowed inside the trial/hearings. This is HUGE, especially because Trump supporters would actually be watching it too (unlike, generally, the congressional hearings), and that evidence all laid out looks really goddamn bad

Also, if yesterday's fraud trial testimony is any indication, Trump is likely to end up yelling and screaming at the judge, etc. in the trial, which is going to look wildly unprofessional

The federal trial will be taking place in Washington DC, where it should be very doable to get a jury that isn't stuffed with Trump cronies (unlike, say, if the case was brought in Florida)

Trump has attempted witness tampering on a lot of occasions, and tried to poison the jury pool, and he got caught so now he's under a gag order that restricts what he can say re: both of those.

Important note: Jack Smith has brought the narrower of two possible cases against Trump. He's filed against Trump with several conspiracy charges, including "conspiracy against rights," which was historically created to prosecute the KKK for racial terrorism

However, Jack Smith did not actually charge Trump with inciting an insurrection. There are a lot of possible reasons for this, but it mostly boils down to the fact that "inciting an insurrection" is significantly less objectively provable, in this case, esp since "insurrection" isn't actually defined in the relevant law

So, Jack Smith has traded a broader case (the one including insurrection charges) for a case that is much simpler and quicker to argue, and that he's sure he can prove

Jack Smith absolutely knows that he has an effective deadline of November 2024 (aka the next election, because a Republican president would shut down the investigation immediately), and he's planning accordingly

Look. Federal prosecutors - and the prosecutors in Georgia and the other NY case, for bribery of porn star Stormy Daniels - would not be bringing these charges if they did not feel sure they would win. Democracy aside, if any of them lose their cases? That is almost guaranteed to end their careers. So they have a very vested self-interest in only taking on what they are absolutely sure they can prove

The judge in the federal Jan 6 trial is the judge who has given the harshest sentences against any of the Jan 6 rioters, and she is the only judge to have sentenced rioters to more time than the prosecutors asked for

Jan 6 charges against Trump, explainer Sources: x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x

A Very Hot Take: It might not be a bad thing that Trump is still allowed to run

So, this is my personal take on the situation - I acknowledge that it's a very hot take on the Left, and that I might well be wrong about this. I might be totally misreading the field here. But I genuinely do think that Trump being the Republican candidate for president could be a good thing, and in fact I'll genuinely worry significantly more if Trump isn't the Republican nominee for president.

The why all basically comes down to this: I think Trump will be easier to defeat in the 2024 general election.

Again, look, I may totally be misreading this, and that would be really bad, but here are my thoughts:

Trump is super popular with the far right base - but that same strength makes him a huge liability in the general election. You CAN'T WIN a presidential election without the support of independents and moderates (including "moderates"). This is a really common problem for Republican candidates, actually: the more they move to the right to win the core Republican base, the more they risk hurting their chances in the general election

Independents and moderate Republicans - again, who Trump needs to win with to get the presidency - are significantly more likely to care about, you know, all the stealing classified documents and committing treason things

I can't think of anything that will guarantee people on the left get their asses to the polls better than "Vote or Trump is president again." A lot of the time, with someone who hasn't been president before, voters can lie to themselves and go "Oh it won't be that bad once he's in office," esp among moderates. But now we have proof that isn't the case!

Look, I don't know if Trump is getting dementia or what, but his faculties really do appear to be declining. They'll likely be significantly worse in another year - his speeches are already way worse than there were in 2016. He just can't track what he's saying well enough anymore. This makes it harder for him to make his case to the electorate

He's also the only actual Repub candidate that's about the same age as Biden - which will do a lot to stop the Right from using Biden's age as an effective weapon to get a Repub in office

Honestly, my biggest worry is that DeSantis will be the Republican nominee. I am way more scared of Biden vs. DeSantis than Biden vs. Trump.

Reasons I would absolutely rather Biden face Trump than DeSantis include: DeSantis is way younger and he has way less baggage. Because he hasn't been president yet, voters can do that self-delusion thing that he won't be that bad - that he'll be better than Trump - and that unlike Trump's, his plans will work. People on the left and in the center often don't know who he is yet, and there's not such a huge current of electoral energy to get them to the polls. And most of all - unlike Trump, DeSantis is actually smart. And as part of that, he is capable of a deep and absolutely premeditated cruelty that Trump just doesn't have the attention span or the patience for. Biggest example: actually literally kidnapping undocumented immigrants and sending them to Martha's Vineyard, and all the awfulness that went along with that, including the part where he started a goddamned trend.

Nikki Haley I'm less worried about because her core support base - conservatives - is also the country's core support base for misogyny. I hate to be glad about misogyny, but it genuinely would make it harder for her to turn out ultraconservative votes, especially evangelicals.

Sources: x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x

So, yeah, all told I don't actually have "Trump still gets to run for president" super high on the list of things I'm worried/mad about.

Also worth saying that we don't want just being indicted (aka charged with a crime) to disqualify people from running for office, because then all Republicans (or anyone) would have to do to disqualify an opposing candidate is find literally any excuse to charge them with something

But back to your original question! I genuinely DO think he'll face legal consequences, and I genuinely DO think he'll probably face jail time. Which obviously I am rooting for very hard

#Anonymous #ask #me #do I have work to do? yes #did I spend over two hours writing this instead? also yes #anyway #election 2024 #fuck trump #biden #ron desantis #classified documents #jack smith #trump indictment #gag order #jan 6 #jan 6 insurrection #united states #us politics #14th amendment #hope this is helpful lol given how long I spent writing it #trump lawsuit

[https-yeonjun]

pobrecito (c.sb)

wc. 1440

genre. smut

tags. minors dni! sub!soobin x dom!fem reader, brother’s best friend, degradation, perv!soobin, panty stealing, masturbation (both f and m), nipple play, thigh riding, handjob, pet names (baby)

a/n. repost; my first soobin piece omg!!!! and also the first smut i’ve written for txt fr 😮 this is definitely minimally proofread (meaning i only ran it through the spell check), and the ending is 🥴, writing this made me feel like a p3rv i hope you enjoy it lol

more of my work

going home for the summer was never your idea of a good time but your parents had begged you to, claiming that they never saw you anymore. little did you know that they just wanted you to house-sit while your twin brother was around because they had planned a weeklong getaway the one week you could make it back to the town you grew up in. so now, you’re stuck in your parent’s house all week long.

you thought that you could take this time to spend with your brother, given the fact that you hadn’t seen him since winter break, but he was more concerned with showing his college roommate around your hometown. soobin, the roommate, was quiet. he didn’t really talk as much as he just followed your brother around like a lost puppy.

it was a surprise how your loud, obnoxious brother got along with him, when soobin went by mostly unnoticeably.

mostly.

there were some things you couldn’t help but notice: like he never made eye contact with you when you spoke to him, or how he stuttered unbelievably when you asked him the simplest questions, or how his gaze lingered on you when you passed him in the hallway.

like tonight, for instance, the three of you sat together in the living room for the first time that week. you sat cross-legged on the living room floor around the coffee table, a box of pizza in between. they had spent their nights during that first weekend in the next town over but in your small town there was not much to do on a monday night other than watch high schoolers perform vape tricks in the mall parking lot, before they’re chased off by the night security.

so the three of you sat together in mostly awkward silence and uncomfortable small talk, the only sound coming from the sports game playing at low volume on the tv.

“so, did you guys do anything fun today?” you asked the two boys sitting opposite you. you leaned backwards to rest your back on the couch. you paid extra attention to soobin, and the way his eyes followed along the stretch of your body. his eyes ogled the way your t-shirt rode up, exposing the patch of skin right below your belly button. he took a long sip of his drink.

“yeah, we went to the old arcade on main street.” your brother responded on behalf of the two of them. then you fell back into the silence, picking the toppings off the slice on your plate.

when you were done eating you retreated to your room. the two of them dawdled in the living room for a while longer before withdrawing to your brother’s room. on his way to the bathroom, soobin stopped at your door to see that it was slightly ajar. he didn’t mean to peek through the slit. he didn’t mean to see you laying in bed with one of your hands under your shirt. and he definitely didn’t mean to follow your other arm to see it pressing on the pink vibrator that was between your legs, buzzing against your clothed cunt.

but he did and he couldn’t help but rush to the bathroom and turn on the shower to mask the sounds of his moans as he rubbed his hard length, his eyes rolling back in his head, thinking about what it would feel like to have his hands replaced by yours. what it would feel like to taste you. what it would feel like to hear your pretty voice moaning his name, telling him how good he is. 

his hips not-so-rhythmically met his fists, fisting his dick as if it were you. he just needed to feel something, feel good. his back was resting against the cold shower wall as he inched closer to his orgasm. the cold water ran down his face, which was contorted with pleasure as he bit his lip to stop a guttural groan from escaping.

the next morning, you went into the kitchen to make yourself a cup of coffee. you saw a note on the kitchen island from your brother saying he went to pick up breakfast for only him and soobin, who was still sleeping.

asshole, you thought as you went to the fridge to figure out what you were going to eat.

now, last night, soobin was blessed with post nut clarity, which is when he came up with his foolproof plan. it had only been three days that he had been in the house with you but he had already memorized your morning routine. he pretended to be asleep when your brother left. and then he waited for the sound of your bedroom door opening, indicating that you were no longer in your room.

then it was game time.

he snuck into your room, going through your laundry basket to see if you discarded your underwear from last night. even if you didn’t, he hoped that he would find another pair of cum stained panties that he could use to jerk off with.

after finding nothing suitable to eat in the kitchen, you decided to go back to your room and order breakfast from somewhere nearby. to your surprise, you see your brother’s tall friend standing in your room with something pink and lacy in his hands. “what are you doing here?” you ask, causing him to jump.

he quickly shoves his hand in his pockets when he sees you standing in the doorway, a look of confusion and intrigue on your face. “i- i thought you were in the shower.”

“that doesn’t explain why you’re in my room.” you inch closer to him. “what’s in your pocket, binnie?”

he feels his dick twitch at your use of that nickname, but that didn’t distract him from his plan b – if anything goes wrong, deny everything. “nothing.”

“now, you know i don’t believe that, soobin. show me what’s in your pocket.” he pulls out the underwear you wore two days ago, causing you to scoff. “you’re so pathetic.”

“i’m sorry.”

“you’re sorry because you got caught.”

“no, i’m so sorry.”

“but baby, you’re still holding my underwear.” he drops them instantly, making you chuckle. your laugh was full of venom as you lifted your hand to caress his face.

“i didn’t mean to.”

“didn’t mean to do what?” you asked in mock coyness.

“i’m sorry.” you scoff again.

“is that all you can say?”

“i need you.” he mumbles.

“oh, poor baby.” you push him onto your bed. “what would my brother say if he came home to see you in his sister’s room?”

“i don’t care.” his breath hitched in his throat. “i- i just want you to touch me, please.”

“aww,” you coo. “you want me to touch you, binnie. do you think you deserve it, baby?”

“yes,” he gulps, pulling you with his long legs so that you fall on top of him, your clothed heats coming in contact with each other. he groaned at the touch.

“ha! you definitely don’t deserve it after that.” you sit up straight, finding a comfortable spot on his knee, his arms holding you in place behind your waist.“but you’re lucky, i’m feeling nice today.” you palm his cock through his sweatpants, feeling it enlarge under your hands. “you come into my room, looking through my dirty laundry like a disgusting, little pervert. and now you’re so hard, but i barely even touched you.”

“it’s b-because of you.”

“hmm, is that so?” pull his dick out, slowly stroking it. his dick twitches at the contact and he lets out a whine.

“yeah, your… your boobs.” he looks down at your hardened nipples poking through the white t-shirt you wore to sleep. “bet they look better with nothing on them.”

“you want to see them?” you ask, to which he responds with an over-eager nod. as soon as you took off your top, his lips automatically attached to your right nipple, taking it between his teeth, while his other hand fondled your left breast. you leaned your head back in ecstacy. you messily grind on his thigh, craving the feeling of something on your heat.

“fuck, soobin.” you cry out, as he moans against your breast, sending chills down your spine.

you tighten your previously loose grip on his dick, stroking him to a steady rhythm. you could feel him get closer and closer and before you knew it, he was shooting his cum on your hands. “fuck,” he whined.

“we need to clean up, my brother is going to be back any minute.”

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[soaringthroughthegalaxy]

hiiii!! absolutely love your crosshair stuff (i’ve been on a crosshair binge since season three started lol) anyways i was hoping you could write something that’s like post-omega and crosshair escaping tantiss and reuniting with hunter and wrecker (end ep 4) with the prompts

11. I promised to love you forever, and that is a promise I intend to keep.

and

16. No matter how much time we’ve spent apart, I never stopped loving you.

like i was thinking crosshair and the reader are married but canon happened so the reader stayed with the bad batch and this would be the first time her and crosshair are seeing each other again since the end of season one at kamino

no rush for any of this btw. thankssss

Hello, hi! Thank you so much for this request. I had something similar going through my mind after the episode aired so was excited to see this drop in!! I hope you enjoy 😊

Never Stopped

When Omega's cryptic message leads to a heartfelt reunion on Ryloth's nearest moon, you didn't expect her to be accompanied by the one man you never thought you'd get to see again.

Pairing: Crosshair x f!reader

Word count: 2k

Warnings: spoilers for S3E04, we love a good reunion, inner turmoil, fluff, comfort, pet names.

“I had help.” Omega’s statement hangs in the air until the light sound of footsteps on metal reaches your ears, and you turn alongside Wrecker to watch as someone steps out of the stolen transport.

No. Not someone.

Him.

For a second, you forget how to breathe, unable to tear your eyes away from the man you never dared hope you’d see again. The last time you’d seen him had been after the fall of Kamino, on that blasted platform in the middle of the ocean. You’d pleaded with him to come with you - to leave the Empire’s clutches - but he’d declined. Your stubborn, infuriating husband.

Maker, you’d missed him.

Before you even know what you’re doing, you’re running, crossing the inky darkness between the two ships, closing the distance between you as Crosshair takes the final step down onto the planet’s surface. He doesn’t have time to protest before your arms are around his neck, hauling him into a crushing embrace. His brothers might be wary, but you aren’t.

Crosshair freezes, caught off guard by your affection. In the short time it had taken you to reach him, he’d braced himself for a slap or to be chewed out. This was…unexpected. You’re warm against him, the softness of your body so familiar, as is the scent of your shampoo. Tentatively, he slides his arms around you in return, pulling you close to suffocate all space between you both, soaking up the feeling of having you back in his arms. “Kitten...”

The whispered term of endearment is all it takes, and a heaving sob leaves you before you can stop it.

Everything since the order was given crashes down on you – the shots he’d fired as you scrambled to escape Kamino, how relentlessly he’d chased you across the galaxy, Kamino falling, the distress message he’d sent to your old comms channel…it had felt never-ending.

But it was over now. 

As you bury your face against his chest, the torrent of emotions overwhelms you. There’s a sense of catharsis, a release from the pent-up anguish that had threatened to suffocate you. The weight of his presence feels like a balm to your wounded soul, and with each sob that racks your body, it’s as if a burden is lifted, allowing you to finally exhale the turmoil that had gripped you for far too long.

He’s here. In one piece. Free from the Empire’s clutches, with Omega in tow.

Hunter and Wrecker’s tension eases slightly as they witness the reunion between you and Crosshair, but they’re not ready to let their guard down just yet. They exchange knowing glances before Hunter clears his throat. “We need to go.” He shouts across the distance, feeling guilty for breaking the moment but knowing that the Empire won’t be far behind.

You pull back slightly, hands still clutching desperately at Crosshair as he meets your gaze. He’s never been one to cry, but unshed tears line those sharp eyes you’ve missed so much. Silently, you swipe away your tears with one hand, the other finding his to guide him towards the Marauder. A blur of motion whips past you, and you startle, but with a click of his tongue, Crosshair stills the creature responsible, and a hound falls into step beside him as you lead him back towards the ship.

It feels too good to be true, too easy. The nervousness Crosshair had felt rolling through him as he’d forced himself down the steps of the transport returns. Fingers interlaced with yours, he can feel the skin-warmed metal of your ring. It’s still there after everything.

He feels nauseous as you cross the darkness towards the ship that had once been his home. He glances at Wrecker as you both pass him and the apprehension on his big brother’s face wavers for just a second before Crosshair looks away, unable to stand it.

Hunter has already ushered Omega inside, the young girl saying hello to Gonky, who beeps happily at her return. Crosshair lets you situate him in one of the back seats in the cockpit as Wrecker comes up the ramp, smacking the button to shut it as Hunter takes Tech’s seat and fires up the engines. 

Tech.

Crosshair swallows, bile rising in his throat. His twin is gone. Omega had brokenly told him what had happened during one of her many visits to his cell. Guilt curls through him - his brother had insisted on the mission to Eriadu and had been keen to find him, which ultimately led to his sacrifice.

Crosshair barely registers the ship setting off or the jump to hyperspace.

A soft squeeze of his hand draws his focus, and his head tilts to look across at you. Your wide eyes, which he adores, look at him with concern and something else he can’t quite put his finger on. Hunter and Wrecker are in the pilot and copilot seats, Omega curled in Hunter’s lap as they catch up while Wrecker pets Batcher.

You can practically see Crosshair’s discomfort, so you lead him out into the belly of the ship, closing the cockpit doors behind you to give the pair of you some privacy. “I thought I’d lost you.” You whisper, your voice barely above a breath as you sit side by side on one of the bunks, bodies tilted towards each other.

“Have to try harder than that.” Crosshair’s answer is quick, and the vice-like grip of dread that had encircled his heart slackens as he hears you laugh - it’s a short and sharp sound, nothing like the melodic giggles he’d grown accustomed to during the war, but it’s something. And Maker, does it feel good.

You’d almost forgotten what it was like to be on the receiving end of his quips, and for a moment, it’s like nothing has changed. But you spot something missing as you turn his hand over in yours. 

His wedding ring is gone.

“They took it from me.” He’s quick to reassure you, seeing the pained expression on your pretty face. He hadn’t even been able to fight to keep it, having woken up on Tantiss without it. The troopers had quickly silenced him whenever he’d asked about its whereabouts.

Silence settles between you both for a moment, your gaze fixed on this hand - on the vacant spot. “We’ll get you a new one,” you state quietly, lifting your eyes to finally meet his.

Crosshair’s brows furrow in disbelief at your words. After everything he’s done and the pain and betrayal, he can’t fathom why you still want to be married to him. Guilt and shame churn in his gut, threatening to overwhelm him. “Why?” he asks, his voice low and raspy, his gaze searching yours for some semblance of an answer.

You reach out and gently cup his cheek, your touch sending shivers down his spine. “I promised to love you forever, and that’s a promise I intend to keep,” you say simply, your eyes reflecting a depth of emotion that Crosshair can’t comprehend. “Despite everything, I still believe in us - in you. No matter how much time we’ve spent apart, I never stopped loving you.”

A lump forms in Crosshair’s throat as he struggles to process your words. He’d spent so long convincing himself that he was better off paying for his sins in that cell. But here you are, offering forgiveness and understanding. He searches your eyes for any sign of deceit or resentment but finds unwavering sincerity and love.

Crosshair reaches out, hand shaking as his fingers brush your cheek. “Maybe you’ve hit your head too many times, kitten.” Crosshair quips, a hint of his trademark sarcasm slipping through. Despite the gravity of the moment, he can’t resist teasing you. But deep down, he’s grateful for your forgiveness and unwavering love, even if he doesn’t understand it.

You roll your eyes at his remark, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. “Maybe you just need a few more hits to knock some sense into that thick skull of yours.” You retort, your tone teasing yet filled with affection.

As the playful banter lingers in the air, a moment of quiet settles between you both, the reality of the situation sinking in. Crosshair’s gaze softens, his hand lingering on your cheek as he soaks in your closeness. “I love you too.” He whispers, his voice barely audible above the hum of the ship’s engines. “I never stopped either.”

Your heart swells with relief and happiness, and with a soft smile, you press a gentle kiss to the back of his hand, feeling the slight tremble beneath your lips. “What happened, my heart?” You ask, your voice soft and concerned, brows drawn down as you watch how he shakes.

Crosshair hesitates for a moment. “They did…things. Some I remember. Some I don’t.” He answers vaguely.

You’re familiar with this game. He doesn’t want to think about it. Doesn’t want to talk about it. And while you know he'll need to one day, today’s not that day. Respecting his unspoken plea not to delve deeper into the horrors he endured, you gently squeeze his hand, offering him a reassuring smile. “We don’t have to talk about it now.” You murmur softly. “But we need to get you out of those awful clothes.” You change the subject, wrinkling your nose. “Handsome you may be, but this is not working.” You make a vague gesture at his outfit.

Crosshair chuckles softly at your remark, the memories chased away for the time being by your attempt to lighten the mood. “I’ll have you know; I make anything look good,” he retorts with a smirk. “But I suppose some fresh clothes wouldn’t hurt.”

You nod in agreement, grateful for the ease with which the two of you fall back into rhythm. “Exactly, and I’m sure I can find something more comfortable for you.” You reply, standing up and glancing around the small quarters of the ship.

As you start to pull crates out from the nearby storage racks, Crosshair watches you with a slight smile, admiring the familiar sight of you in motion. “You always know just how to take care of me,” he remarks, his voice low and warm, a tone saved just for you.

You shoot him a playful smile over your shoulder. “Someone has to.” You quip back, pulling out the crate you’d been looking for.

His kit crate. You still had his kit crate, with all your doodles on the outside – his name in Aurebesh, the squad’s symbol, a copy of his tattoo, and ever so slightly wonky hearts that he’d made a show of grumbling about but secretly loved.

Crosshair’s surprise is evident as he watches you retrieve a clean undersuit from the crate. He’d assumed its contents would be long gone - tossed aside, sold, or scrapped. The fact that you kept all his armour, along with his bucket, fills him with a strange mix of emotions. “Didn’t think you’d keep it,” Crosshair finally manages to say.

Before you can respond, footsteps interrupt the moment, drawing your attention towards the source. Hunter steps out from the cockpit – even with the door shut, he can still hear everything. His eyes meet Crosshair’s, and while he knows there’s a lot for them to talk about and work through, and he’s still not entirely sure he fully trusts his baby brother, he wants to offer him some reassurance. It’s the least he can do. “We were never going to get rid of it,” Hunter says, his voice firm yet gentle. “You’re still one of us.”

Crosshair finds himself at a loss for words. Emotions swirl within him, a tumultuous mix of gratitude and guilt. As Hunter’s words sink in, his gaze flickers back to you. Despite the doubts and fears that linger in his mind, one thing is certain: he’s home.

With a small smile, you offer the clean undersuit to your husband. “Here,” you say softly, your voice laced with affection. “Let’s get you changed.”

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#Soaring's Ask Box #tbb crosshair x reader #tbb crosshair x you #crosshair x reader #crosshair x you #tbb crosshair #the bad batch x reader #the bad batch x you #bad batch x reader #bad batch x you #tbb x reader #tbb x you #the bad batch #star wars the bad batch #the bad batch crosshair #crosshair #ct 9904

[good-griief]

Hey! I was wondering if I could request for Van Palmer? Something along the lines of the reader coming to terms with their sexuality?

It’s totally cool if you don’t want to write this request lol also kinda might start sending in asks so im gonna claim am emoji -🍾

sorry this took so long but i'm back and able to write again so here u go! this was getting very long so if u guys like it i'll happily make a part two!!<3

You were never a “talkative kid.” You were never one that could spell words like gargantuan or manganimus. You were never helping with your classmates’ homework or told you were exemplary. Your grades were average; A’s and B’s, but nothing exemplary. 

Though there was one thing you were exemplary at. One thing that if given the chance to write about, you’d always be given the highest score. One single thing, completely apart from the rest that could get you an award for your writing. 

Funnily enough. It was Soccer. You’d gotten an award for writing about soccer. 

You always liked Soccer. Ever since you were little. You liked playing with your friends, hanging out with them. You liked the hugs that came after a big win, the friendships, the relationships. You liked the team bonding. You liked the sleepovers and parties. You liked getting close with the best of the girls because you were also one of the best. You liked the small, intimate group you had, and the small, intimate time you spent together. 

You liked the times where you would have a sleepover and cuddle with one another. Sleepovers where you would kiss to ‘practice’ for boys. Sleepovers that got you so close you were hugging and leaning on each other all the time, lying your head in each other’s laps. 

Sleepovers that somehow dwindled down to you and one other girl by eighth grade. A girl that you’d kiss to practice for boys that didn’t exist. A girl you held hands with at school and took to lunch on weekends with each other’s babysitting money. 

A girl that moved away before highschool. 

You started freshman year without friends, signing up for soccer tryouts and hoping that would get you somewhere. 

You ended up on JV and it seemed the rising sophomore class had already gotten so close that your effort to make friends in soccer proved less than fruitful. 

When you played scrimmages against varsity, the group hardly passed to you and kept it within their small circle. 

There were two girls, Mari and Akilah, who you got along fine with, but they weren’t close, so you had to talk to one or the other during practice which meant you weren’t close with them either. 

That left you in your own little bubble freshman year, floating around. No one really disliked you, but no one knew you either. Not even your own teammates. 

Luckily, though, around winter break, you were asked out. You didn’t really know the guy, but Jackie, one of the sophomores in his grade and on the Soccer team, said he was nice. 

So you said yes. 

And suddenly after a winter break of calling this guy and getting hot chocolate with him, you were in with Jackie… Which meant you were in with Shauna, which meant the ball was passed to you, which meant they started to see how good you were, which meant they started to like you. 

“Hey!” Jackie came up to you, Mari, and Akilah after practice. 

You’d slowly been getting them closer so the three of you could hang out. You figured you could then start passing to them and get them in with the other girls without a whistle-blow from Coach Scott for changing a play. 

“You three wanna come with us? Team bonding?”

“Sure!” You said first, all too enthusiastic and making her chuckle. 

“I have to study,” Akilah said.

“Yeah, same,” Mari said, giving you a sympathetic smile. “Have fun, though!”

“Oh, we will!” Jackie looped her arm through yours as you gave your new friends a look. “Come on. You can tell me all about Mark— he’s friends with Jeff, you know?”

“Jeff?”

“My boyfriend.”

“Oh…”

“Oh, good! You brought her!” Nat, another sophomore, said. 

“I told you the other two would say no.” Jackie shrugged. 

“Still nice to ask everyone,” Lottie, the only one that’d actually introduced herself to you, said. She also gave you everyone else’s name. Which was helpful since they definitely weren’t going to introduce themselves. 

“Hey,” except maybe one of them, She was shorter, redheaded, and the goalie. She gave you a sweet smile as she held out her hand. “Have you met everyone?”

You took her warm hand, shaking gently and earning even more of a smile. “Lottie,” you gestured to the brunette with your free hand, “told me about everyone.” She only nodded. “Vanessa? Right?”

“My friends call me Van.” You nodded, giving a small smile as you still mindlessly shook her hand. “You can call me Van,” she added with a smirking laugh, eyes darting to Lottie briefly. She had a feeling she told you her name was Vanessa on purpose. 

The brunette was grinning from ear to ear, hands slapping at Nat’s as they both laughed together.

“Van.” You dropped her hand. “I’ll remember that.”

“Oh, I hope so—”

“Leave her alone,” Taissa butted in, laughing. “You can ride with us if you want.” 

“Sure.” You agreed, walking next to Van as the group dispersed. “Where are we going?”

“I think Jackie’s,” she said. “She’s been dying to meet you and shit now that you're dating Mark.” You nodded. “Whole team has, really. You know, you’re pretty good?”

“Thanks, I think?” You frowned. “I’ve played since I was, like, eight.” She nodded along. “You guys are great. I mean, you’re the best high school team I've seen— Van, I’ve never seen a better goalie.” She smiled, shaking her head. “No, seriously,” you insisted when she went to object. “You must, like, study every player or something—“

“She does,” Taissa said. 

You were glad you were usually on her team during JV scrimmage, or it’d be a challenge to get a goal. 

“Insane.” You shook your head. “I can only ever tell if someone’s injured.”

“Oh, really?” Van asked, curious.

“Mhm. It’s pretty easy.” She frowned. “Just check the bench. Works every time.” Taissa stifled a laugh, Van laughing out loud. 

“I thought you were serious,” she laughed. 

“Yeah I could tell. You were all…” You imitated her face, making Taisa laugh. 

“Come on, Tai!” Van hit her shoulder. “You’re supposed to be on my side!”

The ride to Jackie’s was spent receiving questions from Tai as Van just listened in or responded to something Tai said. 

There was something about this girl. The way she spoke. The way she looked at you through the rearview mirror, checking to make sure you were comfortable. She was sweet, obviously, but there was something else. Maybe, it was just the fact that she was pretty and red-haired, but something about her was all too attractive. 

In the sense that you wanted to be her friend, of course. 

By the time you got to Jackie’s, the other girls were already there and inside while her parents ordered food for all of you. 

They greeted you from the kitchen at the opposite end of the giant house and told you the girls were “in the parlor”.

“You’ll get used to it,” Van said, walking with you to the living room, which was one of many but clearly the most casual of them. 

“Hi!” Jackie was quick to pull you by her. 

The night was spent getting interrogated, practically, about your boyfriend while you ate pizza and watched shitty movies until people started falling asleep. 

You were up late with Van, who, like you, seemed to enjoy the shitty movie on screen. She grabbed the two of you a board game to play while you watched. 

“So, do you wanna tell me about yourself at all?” She laughed. “I know more about Mark than my new teammate now.”

“Wasn’t really prepared for that one,” you joked, making her chuckle as you took your turn. “Well, all my old soccer friends are at different high schools now,” you said, shrugging. “So if you’re wondering—“

“Why you seem like such a loner?” She interrupted, making you laugh. “I was a little curious.” 

“Jeez,” you laughed. “My best friend moved, like, across the country, and the rest of my friends are on rival teams now… And I’ve beat them all—“

“Fuck yeah, you have!” She laughed. 

You spent most of the night talking with Van, who seemed to have been waiting to talk to you alone. She hardly spoke in the group conversation, but now she was lively and engaged. Maybe it was because the conversation had less to do with your boyfriend, and more to do with you. Maybe because she actually got to know you. You couldn’t tell. 

There was just something about her.

At the next practice, you were getting the ball passed to you regularly, but never close enough to score. 

Maybe because the one time you tried, Van blocked it like it was nothing, but that was weeks ago. 

Which meant you were determined to best her now. 

When Tai passed you the ball, you made a move to get it to Akilah. Just as quickly as you passed it, it was stolen by Nat, but Mari got a read on what you were trying to do and got it back. 

“Mari!” Tai waved, but she quickly passed it to Akilah now that no one was guarding her. 

She passed the ball to you, and as quickly as you got it you were kicking it at the goal without moving from your spot. 

“Ah, fuck,” Van muttered, having been counting on you coming toward her and already moving to the right of the goal. She jumped toward the left to block, but the ball barely brushed her fingers before getting caught in the net. 

“Yes!” Mari yelled, high fiving both you and Akilah when they made their way to you. “That was clean!”

“It was sloppy,” Tai said, coming up to the three of you as the rest of your mock team came as well. “Just unexpected.” 

You nodded in agreement. “A goal is a goal, though.” She narrowed her eyes, huffing a laugh. “That kinda unexpected sloppiness can win a game.”

“She’s not wrong.” Jackie patted your shoulder. “Nice shot.”

“Well, why don’t we add it to the playbook?” Tai said. “Test it out in a real game.”

“Oh, don’t be bitter, Taissa.” Jackie laughed. “She just wanted you to pass the ball to her.” Tai laughed at that. 

For the rest of the practice, you made sure to pass to Tai every so often, the two of you testing out new plays. 

Despite that, Van was determined to block every one of your shots.

More so than anyone else. 

It was to the point that after that one goal, you didn’t score another. 

“Good game today,” Van said in the locker room, hand on your hip as she moved behind you to get to her locker. “You were making me nervous.”

“Me?” You laughed. “You were pissing me off—“ Van cut you off with a loud laugh. “I only got one goal!”

“It was hard to make that happen!” She laughed, and once it died down, she spoke up again. “Do you think you’d want to come to the field early sometime? Practice with me?”

You smiled, nodding. “Of course!” It was the perfect opportunity to get closer with her. Maybe, know more about her. 

To become better friends, of course. 

The first time was that weekend. You came the Sunday after practice, practicing earlier in the morning and getting lunch afterward. 

It slowly became a habit; every once in a while, every other week, weekly…

“Here.” Van jogged over to you as you stood in front of the ball. “You obviously have to turn your hips, but you really give yourself away…” She held out her hands, brows raised. You nodded and her hands went to your hips to readjust. “This is what you’re doing.” She turned you to the right. “So, I always know you’re going left, but…” She turned you to a slight angle, facing the right corner of the goal. You looked back at her and she couldn’t bring herself to get the rest of her sentence out. “I’m not sure how to explain it,” she said, taking a step back. “Why don’t you try goalie for a minute?”

“I’m a shit goalie, Van.” She laughed at that, but you went anyway. 

“Just try and figure out which way I’m going,” she said. 

That day, you spent the entirety of it ogether. It was past lunch by the time you went to the locker room to change, talking the whole way there about your newfound knowledge. 

“Do you wanna get dinner?” You suddenly suggested, both of you in the midst of changing. “We could, like, go out or something?”

She paused, looking over at you as she got her shirt on. “Where do you wanna go?”

You shrugged. “Mark took me to this little diner a few blocks from my place last weekend,” you said and her mood seemed to dampen. “They have everything— it’s, well… Well, it’s not amazing, but it’s cute.”

“Um…” She took a moment, putting on her shoes and taking down her hair. “I’m kind of tired—“

“Oh—“

“Yeah—“

“That’s okay—! No, I mean, that makes sense. We’ve been here all day, so…” You nodded as you got your pants on and slipped on your shoes. “Maybe another time, then?”

“Totally.” She nodded, giving a smile despite the sudden awkwardness that came between you. 

“Okay.” You nodded. “Then, I’ll see you tomorrow—“

“Wait, let me drive you home. It’s late—“

“No, no, no. It’s totally fine!” You gave her a smile as you grabbed your bag. “Mark was going to pick me up, anyway—“

“Oh, did you want to get dinner with him? Like, us three?” You shook your head. “But he’s picking you up,” she said, smirking with a furled brow. 

“I would’ve just told him to go home, or hang out with Jeff and Randy, or something.” You shrugged. Her smile widened slightly, cheeks heating. “That’s kinda shitty, though, I guess.” She then laughed. “Next time we’ll, like, plan, or something.”

“Definitely.” She nodded. “And I’ll take you somewhere nicer than a hole-in-the-wall diner after practice, alright?”

Something about the way she said it made you smile, stomach fluttering. “Alright.”

She walked with you out of the dressing room and to your boyfriend's car. “See you tomorrow?” She said some ways away from the jeep he drove. 

You nodded and leaned in for a hug, arms going around her shoulders. She was stunned for a moment, having not realized what you were actually leaning in for. She gave you a quick hug back before pulling away to go to her car. 

The next day, she was talking to you in the halls, the next practice you were able to get more than one goal, and the next weekend your practice was spent laughing together in the field and dribbling the ball between one another rather than practicing. 

“Oh shit!” Van laughed when it started to rain. 

March had come quicker than you expected. You and Van had been hanging out for just over a month now, but it felt like you’d been friends all year. 

Within minutes of you grabbing your bags, it was pouring rain and you were running to Van’s car. 

“Jesus!” Van groaned as she slammed the door shut behind herself, you doing the same. You threw your bags in the backseat, wiping your faces. 

She started the car, already starting her drive back to your house from memory. 

“Just park in the garage,” you told her. “You can stay for a while.” You then added, “if you want.”

“Is that fine? Like, with your parents?”

“They’re out of town.” She nodded slowly, pulling into the garage. “I can, like, make us dinner or something,” you offered. “If you like pasta.”

“I love some good spaghetti.”

“Great!” You both laughed. “First, we need to shower, and get this shit in the wash.” You looked down at your damp shirt and shorts. 

She turned off the car, and you headed inside. You grabbed both your bags and set them in the laundry room as you went inside, getting off your cleats and socks as well. 

“Here.” You filled the silence and led her up the stairs. “My rooms there.” You pointed to the end of the hall. “I’ll use my parents shower… obviously.” Van chuckled at your awkward speech, nodding. “There’s towels and everything in there. You can just take my clothes.”

“You sure?” 

You nodded. “Just send your stuff down the shoot.”

You took a quick shower before heading to your room in your towel and getting into pajamas. 

You heard Van call your name some minutes later as you lay on your bed. “Close your eyes!” You laughed, covering your eyes. “Are they closed?”

“Yep.” She came in with just a towel. “I totally forgot to bring you clothes—“

“Fuck off.”

“Sorry!” You laughed. “Pajamas are in the bottom drawer.”

That night was spent making shitty pasta and laughing together as you ate in front of the TV you rolled out of your closet. You ended up sleeping in your room, falling asleep to an old movie with dishes on your night and arms around each other.

Since that day, Van had been so much more friendly. 

It was almost insinuating. 

She would touch you to get past you, tease you about a mistake on the field, sneak up and hug you from behind to scare you in the halls. And when she came over, she was touchy and clingy— not that you weren’t. You were often hugging her or lying your head on her shoulder. Hell, you even danced with her if either of you put on music. 

On the field, however, she was awful. During scrimmage, she would go out of her way to make you fuck up. Even if you were on her team. She’d call something, or say something to you during a break that made you fumble the ball.  

It was to the point that even her telling you good luck before a game had you flustered. 

To the point where you fucked up. 

“What the hell?!” Tai yelled at you as you shook your head at yourself. “Get it together—“

The ref blew a whistle for timeout after the other team's score. You groaned, walking over with a frown. 

“What’s going on with you?” Ben asked.

“Are you sick?” Misty asked. “Injured?”

There was a small pep talk you had before you were sent back out. Unfortunately, your boyfriend was sitting with your parents as they watched you fuck up one of your last state games. It only made your nerves skyrocket. 

“Get it together,” Nat told you, placing a hand on your shoulder as she walked past you. 

Van was the last to leave, giving your shoulder a squeeze. “Guess we should’ve kept up our practices, huh?” She joked, earning a glare. “Sorry— Look, you’re good. Really good. You’re just being predictable.” You frowned at her. “Think back on that play you, Mari, and Akilah pulled earlier this year.”

When you got back on the field, you did as Van said. You let Shauna, Tai, and Nat get their goals in, but after that you asked Tai to pass to Akilah, who was heavily guarded. 

“What?” She frowned at you. “You’re, like, out of your mind today.”

“Just try?”

As soon as the ball was stolen from Akilah, Mari got it to you, and you back to an unguarded Akilah. When she passed to you, you immediately kicked at the goal. 

“YES!” You heard before you even knew what happened. 

The buzzer sounded, signifying you’d won and leaving you shocked as your teammates huddled around you, chanting: “BUZZ. BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ!”

In the locker room, your excitement continued until you and Van were the last ones there. 

“So, I was thinking,” Van spoke up. “What do you think about dinner this Sunday after our usual?”

“Oh, now you’re nice?” You joked. 

Maybe it’d been left out that you were completely reciprocal in this teasing game. You would go up to her at her locker to scare her like she did you, and of course hug her and kiss her cheek afterward before you went to class, leaving her flustered and wanting to get back at you by the time practice rolled around. So, maybe, you brought it on yourself. 

“Come on,” she laughed. “It’s not my fault I make you nervous.”

“You’re so annoying.” You shook your head. “I almost blew the match because of you.” Her brows shot up. “You were fucking with me before the game with your…” You gentured to her when she looked at you with false confusion. “You know what you were doing.”

She laughed. “Yeah—“

“See!”

“I was just teasing—“

“Well, stop it.”

“But you’re so cute when you’re flustered.” She pouted at you, earning a glare. “Even cuter when you’re mad at me.” She smiled. “Besides, we still won.”

“If we didn’t, they would’ve killed me.” She scoffed. “It’s not funny.”

“You’re actually upset?” She couldn’t help but laugh. “We still have, like, five games—“

“You can’t talk to me before them.” She practically guffawed. “You, like, fuck with with my fucking head. I don’t fucking know.”

“I fuck with your fucking head? What the fuck are you talking about?” 

You groaned, turning to grab your bag. “Goodbye, Vanessa.”

“Hey.” She grabbed your hand, turning you around. 

When she did, you were closer than she expected. 

And that was when it started. 

Her eyes fell to your lips before flitting back up to your eyes. 

That was when you finally realized what that something about her was. 

In the seconds it took you to process when was about to happen, her lips were on yours. Her hand still held yours and as soon as your free one went to her cheek, she tilted her head for a better angle. 

You didn’t know how long you were there. You didn’t realize the time passing. You didn’t even know when it was that her hands found your waist and your other found her neck. 

But you did realize that the door was opening. 

You quickly pushed her back as someone stepped in, Van pretending to have been lacing up her shoes as she sat on the bench. 

“Everything okay, babe?” Mark called from the doorway. 

“Yeah, sorry. I was just helping Van with this turf burn.”

“Shit, is she okay?” He asked. “Should I get Misty?”

“I’m good!” Van called. “Just couldn’t wrap it myself.”

It took a few more exchanges to get him to leave, but eventually the door shut and you grabbed your things. You went to leave, but stopped yourself and turned around. You placed your hand on her shoulder as you leaned down to kiss her cheek. “Come over after practice tomorrow?”

She looked over at you, brow raised. “Does this mean you’re not mad at me anymore, or…?”

“I’ll think about it.”

When she came over, the two of you went straight to your room to “watch TV.” You locked the door behind you, rolled out your miniature TV and put in a tape, and sat down on the bed with Van. 

“Hurry up,” she laughed as she grabbed your hand and pulled you down on top of her. 

You never talked about it. You didn’t discuss what was going on. You didn’t even ask what it meant. 

You just changed your practices to time together. You’d still practice, but you’d also just sit and talk. You’d make out in the locker room before going to get lunch or dinner. You’d hang out with the team and sneak off to have time alone. You’d even just get together. One of you would call and ask the other to lunch, or to go to the mall, or just to come over. There wasn’t a need for the practice excuse anymore, it was just nice to do that, too. 

But you also had to decline at times. 

“Mark wanted to take me to the movies,” you told her one night and you could practically feel her mood shift. “Maybe… Maybe I can get him to—“

“No, it’s okay,” she told you quickly. “Spend time with your boyfriend.” The word left a sour tension in the air. 

“Van—“

“What time’ll you be home?”

“Hey,” you sighed when she spoke over you. “If you want me to, I’ll… I can tell him, but I don’t think—“

“You’re going to tell him you’re cheating on him with your best friend?” She asked, tone disbelieving. “No way.”

“Tell him I want to break up,” you clarified. She was quiet for a moment. “And… We’re not cheating.”

“We’re hooking up,” she deadpanned. 

“But…” You pursed your lips. “There’s no possibility of us… being an us, is there?” Your hopeful question, despite how poorly it came out, was met with another beat of quiet from her end, but she didn’t say anything that time. “I just mean… There isn't a way we could actually be together— at least, not in a real way—“

“In a real way?” She scoffed a laugh as she often did when you misused and fumbled over your words. “Have I been imagining all this, or—?”

“That’s not what I mean.” You pinched the bridge of your nose as you started to get frustrated; mostly with yourself and your horrible articulation. “Publicly. Like, I’d never cheat with Randy or Jeff.” She cursed your name, laughing in disbelief as she listened to you try to justify what you’d said instead of taking it back. “This… You and me, is it really going anywhere? Because, if it’s just ‘hooking up’, we could never really be anything, you know? And that sucks, but it’s also, I don’t know, it’s, like, better—?“

“So, let me get this right… You think it's better that you’re with me, because if you were cheating with a guy, it’d actually be real— or no, there’d be a possibility of an actual relationship.” You pursed your lips at the tone of her voice, knowing how awful it sounded. “Is that right?”

“Not exactly.” She hummed, waiting for you to explain. “It’s more like… I’m scared of what people might—“

“I don’t wanna be with someone that’s scared of what people think—“

“Just let me talk.” You sighed, feeling your eyes sting. You’d never been good at articulating your feelings, especially not in this kind of situation. “I’m scared of what people might do because of what they think. It’s just… It’s better if it doesn’t look like we’re anything more than friends—“

“Okay, I’m gonna get off the phone—“

“Van—“

“No— Look… I see where you’re coming from, just… I know that’s not the reason you said it in the first place.” You didn’t argue, nodding despite the fact that she couldn’t see it. “If you want to, I’ll come over when you get home—“

“Okay,” you said all too quickly. “I’ll be home in two hours.” There was a long pause. “If you want to come.”

“Alright.” Click. 

She came by that night, but when you tried to talk to her and smooth things over, she was short. 

“Look,” she said. “I like you. I’m comfortable saying that.” You immediately shut your mouth and listened to what she had to say. “If you’re not comfortable admitting you don’t like guys. Or that you’re using your ‘boyfriend’ as a fucking beard, because you want me, that’s fine. I don’t care. I probably already knew that.” You nodded along. “But I don’t want to talk about it with you, because hearing you say it? That fucking hurt.”

“I’m sorry.” Van shook her head, dismissing it. “I really am afraid of what someone might do…”

“It’s not like I’d let anyone do anything to you,” she said, eyes narrowed. 

“That’s not what I mean.” She sighed, waiting for you to explain. “I’m really not saying anything right in this conversation, I just… My point was that I’d leave him for you, and I was trying to ask you if, maybe, this could be more than this, because I don’t think you want me as more than a friend, so when I say ‘in a real way’ I mean, as more than…” You trailed off, narrowing your eyes at the bedsheets when you began to repeat yourself. “And… I wouldn’t cheat with a guy because—“

“Because you like girls?”

You looked up at her, lips pursed. “Why won't you answer my question?”

She tilted her head. “If we get together,” she started, “and I mean, actually get together. Not go to the mall and meet up at a store. Things are going to change. People will catch on, and they’ll treat you differently. I’m sure you know that, but I don’t think you’re ready for it. Especially not when you can’t even admit how you feel.” There was a long pause, her lips pursing. “Just stay where you’re safe,” she told you. “Stay with Mark. We can keep doing this— I like doing this— and you’re probably right. It’s probably better if people just think we’re friends, so…” She looked over at you, obviously still frustrated. “Why don’t we just move on?”

“Okay.”

#van palmer x reader #van palmer #van yellowjackets #vanessa palmer #yellowjackets x reader #yellowjackets fanfic #yellowjackets #yellowjackets96 #yellowjackets van #van palmer yellowjackets #yellowjackets van palmer #van palmer hcs #van palmer blurb #van palmer drabble #yellowjackets drabble #yellowjackets blurb #yellowjackets thoughts #nat scatorccio #misty quigley #natalie scatorccio #lottie matthews #96yellowjackets

[crescencestudio]

2023: A Year of Connection

Hi everyone!

As I told you last month, this month's "devlog" will be more like an end-of-year recap. For those of you who have known me a while, you'll know that I get ~in my feels~ and Very Nostalgic at the end of the year. And this year is no exception to that.

Looking back on this year, I realize I did much more than I thought I did. The year was filled with so many waves of uncertainty, burnout, and ruts, that I felt like I wasn't accomplishing anything in the moment. Now that the year has actually wrapped up, I can see that was Once Again my imposter syndrome whispering words of sweet nothings into my ears.

In fact, this year, I find that I did Way More than what I did last year. Crazy, considering how busy I remember 2022 being. Let's take a walk down memory lane, shall we?

Writing

If there is one thing this bitch did, it's fucking write LFMASODIJ. For all my complaining this year of routes taking too long, getting creative ruts, etc., I still wrote (what I consider) a Very Good amount. While I may not have hit my writing goals that I had set out, I still ended up writing around 255k words in total this year. Most of this being for Alaris, and some of it being for my dissertation (LOL) and other side games, like Intertwine and Jam Games.

This number also doesn't include deleted passages, edited passages, etc., so the amount I've spent writing, reviewing, etc. was Significant this year. Here's to hoping that momentum continues into next year and finishing the rest of Alaris!

Side Games

Something completely unexpected, but that I'll forever be grateful for, was my decision(s) to join game jams this year. It all started with Otojam, a visual novel jam I'd wanted to join for a WHILE.

Intertwine was, without a doubt, one of my most memorable moments from this year. The friends I made/grew closer to during that jam. The people I connected with because of Intertwine. The people I got to work with. Everything about the experience surpassed my expectations, and Van and Summer 2023 will always hold a very special place in my heart because of it. Thank you to everyone who enjoyed that game. It was my first full game I ever released, and I couldn't have been more nervous about it (no literally. I wasn't sleeping and I was nauseous for a week before release).

Knowing there was no "revision" afterwards that I could hide behind or promise that there would be a "better"/"enhanced" version made the release terrifying. But the reception you all gave to it and support from so many friends made me feel so connected and grateful for the community.

The other three side projects were... well, Unexpected. LOL. Before these jams, I'd never wanted to work in team settings, mostly because I have Mad Imposter Syndrome, and I've always imagined I'd be dead weight in any given game dev team. My skills on writing, art, and/or coding alone aren't "exemplary" enough for me to think I, well, deserve to be on a team. But when a couple of short jams were being held by a friend, and teams were being made filled with other friends, I thought maybe I could help, even if it's just to QA/playtest. But I've walked away from each of these experiences learning so much from other talented people and with very dear friends.

Each of these side games truly tested my chops in terms of writing, narrative design, and coding. But I'm glad I challenged myself to take part in each of these experiences because I've walked away with so much more than I would've expected.

Alaris

My Heart. My Soul. And at times, My Worst Enemy.

As much as I may have talked about how I Wasn't making progress on this baby. I, in fact, made A LOT of progress:

Art: 15 CGs, Updated Sprites, Kickstarter Artwork

Commissions: 20 BGs, Complete GUI, Personality/Affection Indicators, Editing, Voice Acted Lines, Complete OST (8 Tracks!)

Writing: Three Finished Routes

Shipped Kickstarter Merchandise

I'm going to be Real with you all. I'm not in the mood to recap everything for Alaris in the way I did with everything else LAFKMSDFOIJWOEI. Main reason being, I do that Every Month, and at this point, I would feel like I'm repeating myself for no reason. But let me tell you, when the Enhanced Demo comes out, you will see what I'm talking about with progress made. And I'm excited for the next year when I start getting to show things off (read: Demo Release and Route Beta Releases) now that assets have really come together ^^

I will say, thank you for sticking with this project for so long. It's easy to get bogged down in development when a project like this is as big as it is. It's just as easy to think that no one will care about this by the time I release, or people will start losing their patience with me as development goes on. So I'm forever grateful for how kind, supportive, and patient you all are, especially this year <3

Connections: The True Theme of 2023

If you've made it this far, I'm extremely impressed with you. And to reward you, I'll give you a moment of honesty and vulnerability which, to be frank, I Don't Do as a person and especially with my dev persona LMFAOO ((Before I do, let it be known, CW: mention of death, grief, alcoholism, chronic illness, suicidal thoughts))

Something I don't talk about much is that for all of 2022 and most of 2023, I was not in a good place mentally. At the beginning of 2022, I lost three very important people in my life back-to-back (I'm not exaggerating when I say back-to-back it was within 2 weeks, three separate deaths lol). That, on its own, was hard to deal with. But on top of that, I soon found myself having to cope/help with a family member's chronic illness and another family member's mental health (read: alcoholism, suicidality).

While this isn't a particularly unique situation, it was one that I found myself struggling with pretty severely on top of a pretty demanding work life. And it was a situation I found myself in until about midway through this year. Things have lightened up. I navigate a new life with some pretty severe triggers, and without the presence of some of my most loved ones. But overall, I at least feel like I can breathe and function, which is a state I didn't feel like I could exist in for over a year (and started to believe I may never exist in again).

Because of this new room in my life, I was able to connect with people again, in a more genuine way. I've grown closer to a lot of dev friends, to the point I consider some of them genuine close friends. And IRL, I've been able to reconnect with some of my dearest loved ones. The main reason I bring all of this up is because this year, I felt unbelievably connected to people, whether that was dev friends in the community, people who support my games, and IRL people.

And sometimes, when you interact with people solely online, it's easy to think they don't care as much about you as you do for them. But this has been disproven to me time and time again this year. And I've found myself in a state of appreciation for so many of the people I've been blessed to meet and befriend <3 I felt this especially so during some of the game jams, with the Secret Santa gift exchange, and with my recent Holiday Tree.

So thank you for everyone who has let me take up some space in their life. You literally Do Not Know how much it means to me and impacts me. This year, while I started it in a state of slightly hopelessness and numbness, I find myself ending it with gratitude and connection.

I hope the rest of this year (the very few couple of days we have left LOL) treats everyone well. I'm excited for how we get to start 2024 and what we'll get to experience together <3 Thank you again for the memories and support, love you all very dearly ^^

#crescence cries

[devourers-of-god]

Hii :D

for first i wanted to say that i love your blog and the way you describe the characters!

can i request HC of the characters on valentine's day? if you don't want to do it to everyone, it could be just Travis and Sal. i'll let you decide there, take as much time as you want and if you don't want to do it, everything is fine. (i hope i wrote it well, it's a bit difficult for me to write in english)

HIII! thank you so much for the compliments it is very heart warming :( SOrry im late about your request HAHAH I will indeed do Sal and Travis only,,, you know me so well anon ,,, You wrote everything perfectly !! I couldn't have guessed if you didn't tell me :) ILY REQUESTS ARE OPEN PEOPLE! LOOK ALIVE! /ref but plz everyone, read my carrd In my bio before submitting.. its upsetting to see asks that doesn't meet my rules...

SAL AND TRAVIS ON VALENTINES DAY

Type : Headcanons

Warnings: None! Mostly Fluff sorry y'all I don't write nsfw

SAL

= Sal prepared some things for you by the gentle help of Ashley, because sal didn't know how to please you and Ash is your best friend.

= I think Sal would make you a valentines boo basket like the ones you see on TikTok. Filled with your favourite chocolates and CDS, cute slippers, horror movie blanket, jewelry and some surprises connected to your interests.

= He would come by your apartment/house and wear ''clean clothes'' ( Jeans he washed the night before and his favourite shirt lol), with his nails freshly painted of a beautiful black colour.

= He also brought movies to watch, romantic ones you say? Hell nah this Sal Fisher, he brought horror movies that you would enjoy.

= You were so happy by his gifts that you jumped right into his arms and dragged him into your room, he cuddled and kissed you A BUNCH because boy was he happy his partner liked what he bought them. He filled your entire face with kisses, when Sal started he couldn't stop.

= After all the affection was received, you two were stuck on the couch, under your new blanket, cuddling and watching movies. For the occasion Sal took off his mask, only if no one was there that day, which made you very happy and flustered to see your lover's face after a long day.

TRAVIS (ARGHBHHH EEEK ^0^DNWAODNSNF)

= Travis already struggles with showing affection, it was very hard to warp his mind around celebrating for the first time in his life Valentines day with his boyfriend.

= He also had to ask Ashley because she's your best friend after all, she recommended following his heart and doing something classic to not stress him too much. And that he did!

= My sweet boy put on a suit for you and bought flowers, not just any flowers tho, Travis believe in flower language. Which is that every single flower has a different meaning when given. He carefully chose Daisies (I truly love you), Red Carnation (My heart aches for you), Honey Suckles (Devoted affection) and lastly, Salvia Red (forever mine). Yes he could've chosen classic roses but he felt like you might think that he didn't put in any effort.

= This boy is an hopeless romantic and decided to write you a letter about his true feelings since he was so bad at expressing them in front of you, words couldn't leave his mouth but they were flowing with the help of his fountain pen.

= He then picked up gourmet chocolates, a bit expensive but he thought it would make you happy. Ashley suggested that he makes a mixtape of your favourite songs on a cassette since you had a walkman. He made 2 mixtapes, one of your favourites and the other one is songs that reminds him of you.

= He showed up to your door in the evening and your jaw dropped, seeing your boyfriend in a suit made you feel things you've never felt before. He felt super happy by your reaction and the letter was so profound it made you cry. You also knew flower language and you were basically bawling because of the effort (and money) he spent on you.

OKAY DONE ! you guys can see that I prefer travis over sal oops,,, I hope everyone still loved it! plz plz plz send me things because im desperate.... I love you all guys.......

#sallyface #sally face #todd morrison #larry johnson #ashley campbell #sal fisher #travisphelps #sf #sally face hcs #sally face fanfiction #sally face headcanons #sally fisher #sally face game #sally face one shots #sal fisher oneshot #sal fisher headcanons #sal fisher imagine #sal fisher x reader #travis phelps hcs #travis phelps imagine #travis phelps x reader #travis phelps

[otakusheep15]

Winter Holiday with Twisted Wonderland

Hi everyone! It's been forever since I made an actual post. I've been trying to write for the past month, but the world just does not want me to lol. But I made it through 2023 and now it's the new year, so I thought it was time I post something again.

This is basically little blurbs of how I think the boys would spend their winter holidays. I'm trying to keep everything ambiguous since I don't know what they celebrate, and I also want everyone who reads this to feel somewhat included at least, so this is me trying my best. If it feels a little rough, that's largely because I'm still trying to fight the writer's block lol. Still, I hope y'all enjoy!

First Years

Ace Trappola: He mostly spends his time relaxing. It's not much different for him than any other season. He enjoys the vibes of winter, but he's not the biggest fan of the cold, so he does his best to stay inside. A big secret of his is that he'll secretly binge all of the cheesy romance movies airing around this time. He'd never admit it though.

Deuce Spade: A lot of his time is spent with his mom, as per usual. Lots of shopping days and going to winter farmers' markets. They also spend time at home drinking hot cocoa and watching holiday movies. He does also enjoy a good afternoon jog through the snow if it's not too much.

Jack Howl: He loves the winter very much. It's his favorite season. He spends most of his days outside playing in the snow with his siblings and enjoying the cold air. The one thing he dislikes his how he grows a double coat to keep him warm, meaning he sheds a lot more than usual. Other than that, he's having fun. Anytime it snows, his tail is going wild with excitement.

Epel Felmier: From dawn until dusk, he's either in the fields tending to crops or out in the crowds selling products. When he's done with work, he likes to curl up in front of a warm fire and work on his carvings. His hands always have to be moving, even when he's meant to be relaxing.

Ortho Shroud: He's spending time with his brother. Idia is not the best at socializing, so he does his best to make sure Idia has someone during these months considering how bad seasonal depression can get. He's also trying to help Idia get more out there, and enjoy the festivities of the season, even if he knows it won't work.

Sebek Zigvolt: He spends winter the same way he spends the rest of his time, with Malleus. Or, that's what he wants to be doing. Instead, he's given a vacation, much to his displeasure. So now he's spending time with his family. It's a little awkward being gone from his station for so long, but he will admit (to himself, begrudgingly) that it is somewhat nice to have a break.

Second Years

Riddle Rosehearts: Winter is always a bit strange for him. He's so used to spending it at home under strict conditions that it takes him some time to get used to the freedom he now has. He likes to spend his time sitting by a fireplace with a book and some tea. Now that he's independent, he likes having this time to relax instead of worrying about family.

Ruggie Bucchi: He spends time back in his childhood home. He visits his grandma and helps take care of the neighborhood kids. They're full of energy and like playing around when it snows, so of course he joins them. He'll also spend time cooking warm meals with whatever ingredients he can scrounge up.

Azul Ashengrotto: Winters are a busy time for him. It's the season of giving according to some, so he's taking full advantage in any way he can. He's striking deals with anyone he comes across and just generally doing the same shady things he usually does. However, he is also consciously taking breaks and making sure to spend time with his family, or at least calling them if he's above the surface.

Jade Leech: He's tending to his terrariums. Winter is not the best for a lot of his plants, so he has to give them extra attention lest they wilt. It's a lot of hard work, but he's very dedicated to them and he's willing to put in the effort. He also begins working on winter-specific plant life and fungi as well so that he can grow his collection.

Floyd Leech: He gets the winter zoomies. The cold makes him extra hyper and excitable, so he's running around a lot more than usual. Ever since discovering snow, he's loved it, so he's spending most of his time rolling around and playing in it. He also loses whatever loose sleep schedule he had and just passes out whenever his body physically can't anymore.

Kalim al-Asim: He prefers summer, but winter is fun too! While he is busy helping his dad and getting trained to succeed him, he still makes sure to take time to have fun. He and his siblings will go out and play around in the snow and just have fun however they can. He can't always handle the cold like his siblings can, but he does his best to keep up with them.

Jamil Viper: He's given a vacation on the request (read: demands) of Kalim, so he's relaxing. For once he has no responsibilities, and he's living his best life. He's making warm curry for himself and catching up on books he's never had the chance to read. He does have the urge to go back to work early, but he forces those urges away.

Silver Vanrouge: He's spending time with his father. Winter makes him extra tired, so he spends a lot of it inside sleeping. Lilia stays with him for a lot of it, and they bond. He'll cook warm meals and they'll watch movies together. They also make sure to visit Malleus often so that he isn't lonely.

Third Years

Trey Clover: The bakery is busy this time of year, so he's mostly occupied with that. He's baking, running the store, making deliveries, and keeping up with orders. There's very little free time, but the time he does have is spent with his siblings. They play in the snow together, watch movies, and drink warm cocoa by the fire. His parents will also join in if they have the time, which is even less common than him.

Cater Diamond: He's keeping up with all of the winter trends of course. He's taking selfies in the snow, reviewing all of the winter exclusive products available, and blasting classic winter music. He loves this time of year because of how festive and fun it is, but it also drains him very quickly on the inside, so the seasonal depression hits quick as well. He won't let it show though, at least until he's alone.

Leona Kingscholar: He does not care. The only difference is that winter is cold which makes him more tired than usual, but that's it. He might stay inside more to avoid the snow, but when you live in a castle, there's plenty to do inside as well, so he's fine. Cheka might force him outside, but he's not enjoying it at all. The snow bothers him and so do the festivities.

Vil Schoenheit: Most likely, he's working on a winter-themed project. A movie, play, photoshoot, something along those lines. It's tiring work, as per usual, but it's what he's required to do, so he does it. What he would like to be doing is relaxing, however. He actually quite enjoys the wintertime, so it'd be nice to spend it alone and without stress. If he could, he would relax at home, maybe even with his dad if he were free. They could finally spend time together and just be normal.

Rook Hunt: He's spending time with his family. It's so rare for all of them to get together, so it's nice to be able to see everyone at once like this. They are also a very competitive family, so many days are spent playing games and having fun competitions amongst one another. Board games, games in the snow, or just random games made up on the spot. It's fun for everyone.

Idia Shroud: He is, as expected, by himself playing games. He may go back to S.T.Y.X. if his parents request it, but he's not leaving his room. In his own way, he is being festive. He's playing winter-themed games, watching anime that takes place in the winter, etc. etc., but that's as far as he'll go. He's not the most fond of the winter festivities because that's normie behavior, but he might be convinced by Ortho to come outside and be festive at least once, as a treat.

Malleus Draconia: Usually, he's alone. Winter can be a lonely time for those without family. However, this year, he does have a family. He has Lilia and Silver, and Sebek too. They all make sure to visit him whenever possible, even if they can't be with him all the time during winter. After all, they do get their time off, so they're allowed time to themselves. However, they still visit him, and that makes him happy. He also spends time with his grandmother when she is available. Still, for a good majority, he finds himself alone, wandering the halls as usual. Sad.

Lilia Vanrouge: He's spending time with Silver at home, mostly. He makes an effort to visit Malleus when possible, but he's mostly relaxing on his own. He and Silver have fun bonding together, something they don't get to do often. He also makes sure to see Sebek and his family too. He tries to cook some hot meals for Silver, but Silver will not let him in the kitchen, so he's upset, but he's still having fun with his time off.

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland headcanons #riddle rosehearts #trey clover #cater diamond #ace trappola #deuce spade #leona kingscholar #ruggie bucchi #jack howl #azul ashengrotto #jade leech #floyd leech #kalim al asim #jamil viper #vil schoenheit #rook hunt #epel felmier #idia shroud #ortho shroud #malleus draconia #lilia vanrouge #silver twst #sebek zigvolt #headcanons #scenarios #imagines

[gamerstar111]

Makoto & Nagito’s Survivor’s Guilt

i have many thoughts ab why makoto and nagito would have an interesting dynamic but today i’m thinking abt how their history parallels a little (like a lot of things ab them. they’re foils of each other i cld write an essay about it)

this is just a very long (kind of disorganized) tangent about lucky duo’s traumas and how they shaped their mindsets (and how they might understand each other better than people think at first)

i kind of get nervous anytime i put my analyses out there for people to percieve, but that’s okay. we’re facing fears today. LOL

——————————————————————————

i don’t think many people think about how makoto probably understands the survivor’s guilt nagito deals with better than anyone could, because he also has the mentality that he didn’t deserve to survive the things he did, and that his luck had a lot to do with his survival. they cope in very different ways, but at the core of their emotions they both feel that same “i don’t deserve to live” guilt.

——————————————————————————

Makoto’s Survivor’s Guilt

makoto doesn’t attribute as much of his trauma (which is the killing games he went through) to his luck, it doesn’t factor into his thinking as much as it does for nagito. junko says it at some point in the anime: makoto’s luck isn’t like nagito’s! he wouldn’t ever be able to utilize it like nagito can, because it isn’t consistent, it comes and goes super randomly. it keeps that mf alive and that’s IT 😭

(/j. it does more for him than that but im not talking ab his luck rn so BACK TO HIS SURVIVOR’S GUILT.)

he leaves the first killing game with this huge unofficial responsibility. he lost 10 of his classmates and it’s said that he was able to get his memories back after leaving, so that means he remembers the two years he spent with them. they were his friends :,)

and some of them did more than him to contribute to surviving. i know it’s for comedic effect in the game, but makoto is kind of consistently told by byakuya (and sometimes kyoko & others) that he’s stupid or unhelpful. + he already struggles with feeling like he’s not interesting, memorable, or unique in any kind of way (mr. “i’m average at being average”)

but nevertheless, he survives the games, (after basically convincing his remaining classmates to NOT sacrifice him. a second time.) and when he does get out, he joins the future foundation, where his nickname as the ultimate hope starts to push him to do as much as he can. and because he’s so determined to save as many people as he can, he opposes the foundation’s plan to kill the remnants, and takes them to jabberwock island. he’s so determined to do as much as he can because he feels like if he doesn’t, he’s wasting the life he was given. it’s implied a few times that he would have killed himself if he didn’t feel guilty throwing away the life that was taken from his friends! people don’t talk enough about how makoto is NOT as endlessly optimistic as everyone thinks

he isn’t completely immune to despair. i honestly feel like his main motivation in helping people and spreading hope isn’t that he lives by it, it’s that he has to do as much as he can to to spread it to OTHERS because if he doesn’t, what is he doing with the life he has that his friends were robbed of? i could get into the nuances of makoto’s character and how he isn’t just “hope enthusiast #1” but that’s more fitting of a makoto exclusive character analysis. coming soon/hj

the point of that is that he wouldn’t be alive if he didn’t feel like he had to make something of the fact that his classmates died and he didn’t. that’s what motivates him to try and save everyone, no matter who they are or how terrible they are (him saving the remnants, trying to save junko even though he hated her for what she did, and trying to save the future foundation members in the second game, even though they want him dead)

and when he already has this mentality, he goes through a SECOND killing game, where one of his closest friends (i forget if it’s canon they were dating or not, but you get the point) dies as a DIRECT result of him surviving. and instead of breaking down and giving up, he takes it and becomes more determined to end the game. but his despair video shows that he feels so guilty that he survived, even if he doesn’t ruminate in that feeling.

but nagito is the polar opposite

——————————————————————————

Nagito’s Survivor’s Guilt

most of nagito’s character revolves around two things:

His self-loathing

His twisted perception of hope, and his obsession with the concept

putting aside the fact that he has been diagnosed with dementia that definitely warps his perception of reality as it is, when you look into his backstory it makes sense why he thinks the way he does. his childhood pet died in a car crash when he was a little kid, then, when he goes on vacation with his parents (still in elementary school), the plane taking them back is hijacked, and then those hijackers are killed by a meteorite that also kills his parents right in front of him.

he has no other living relatives, so he’s given all of their inheritance, and is said to be free to live on his own. so he’s been alone since he was a kid, and then during middle school, he’s kidnapped by a SERIAL KILLER that held him for ransom, and then let him go after realizing no one was going to come for him. (which is actually so distressing to me like r u kidding me that’s so SAD HE HAD NO ONE WILLING TO EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE HE WAS MISSING?? UGH. ANYWAY.)

any chance at happiness Nagito has had was ripped from him in that cycle of good and bad luck. he starts to become fixated (and eventually, unhealthily obsessed) with the concept of hope, so that he could try and find some meaning to his life beyond killing anyone who'd ever shown him any kindness or cared about him. and then after ALL OF THIS, in high school before hope's peak, he gets diagnosed not only with CANCER, but also DEMENTIA. Which, typically, only affects people over 65!!!! he was probably not older than 16 when he got diagnosed!!!! he's then told that he probably has less than 6 months to live. he tells hajime this whole speech about how he realized all he wanted his entire life was to be loved by someone, and he didn't want to die alone, but then says that he was just quoting something, curious to the sympathy it would get him (i don't really believe that, but THAT is a nagito analysis topic. back on topic again…)

then he gets invited to hope's peak. he tries to refuse, but they insist, and so he finally agrees. but then, during his second year, junko starts to ruin things, and yet ANOTHER person he started to care about is killed right before his eyes (chiaki). of course, then, he goes on to bring as much pain and despair to anyone he can under junko’s brainwashing

he's fully convinced that he's a curse, and that he's not worthy of living.

——————————————————————————

"ok….. what’s your point??" you didn’t ask???

the difference between nagito and makoto is that makoto took his grief and made it into motivation, while nagito took his grief as a personal reflection, and spiraled down into a mental decline.

i think the main reasons for this difference is that, first of all, nagito's trauma has been his entire life. since he was a little kid up to even currently (when he's around 21-22), all he's done is cause or witness death anywhere he's gone. watching your childhood pet AND parents die before your eyes has to impact development in some kind of way (not to mention he was entirely alone since ELEMENTARY SCHOOL)

makoto had a very average, but nice life to that point. he had nice parents that were together and happy, his little sister that he's super close to, and while he didn't have any super close friends, he wasn't on particularly bad terms with anyone (as shown by his reaction to seeing sayaka, and sayaka's reaction to knowina him). all of the trauma and death he experienced happened to him when he was an adult (even though he thought he was 16-17 when the first killing game happened, he was most likely 18-19 and junko can erase memory but not alter brain development. so.)

second of all, makoto had support from his friends! he had the other 5 survivors, and then during the second game, he had kyoko and aoi to support him and get him through it. nagito grew up experiencing all of this grief and guilt and trauma entirely alone, even during the killing game he was in. his classmates treat him awfully even before he has his mental break doing incredibly unhinged shit like blowing up the gym (it's so. hard. to defend him sometimes.)

i still haven’t gotten to my point oh my god i talk a lot. BUT THE POINT IS they cope extremely differently, and arguably have different levels of trauma, but they experience the same survivors guilt. both of them feel like they don't deserve to be alive, and that others around them deserve so much better than they do. i really feel like makoto would be able to empathize with nagito's struggles with survivor's guilt and self worth, because he feels the same things! clearly, not to the same extent, but again, that goes back to the support makoto got during his experiences. it's one of the many MANY reasons i think makoto and nagito would be able to help each other heal, instead of being unhealthy like a lot of people say. (of course it depends on when because obviously, servant nagito meeting ff!makoto would not be healthy. that man would skeeve makoto out MASSIVELY but that dynamic is also an interesting one to explore.... ANYWAY.)

nagito's obsession with hope would give him an unhealthy attachment/idolization of makoto at first, but i really do believe that after he recovers a little more from junko's influence, a few days with the guy would make nagito realize that they're way more similar than he thought and that respectfully, makoto isn't as amazing and godly as he thought LOL

——————————————————————————

TLDR: they have very similar experiences, the only difference between them is that makoto had support that reminded him he wasn't to blame for the deaths of those around him, while nagito was isolated from EVERYONE from a very, VERY young age, and it led to his mental decline. i really believe they would be able to help each other heal a lot and that's why i love them so much :(

side note: genuinely nothing makes me as sad as nagito and his dog 😞 every time i mention them i get so upset

#nagito komaeda #makoto naegi #komaegi #sdr2 #dr thh #lucky duo #lucky duo tangents #posting dr opinions is so scary #please be nice #cxsmictangents

[f10werfae]

Hot Tubs and Bubs

pairing: Husband!Chris Evans x Wife!Reader

summary: Y/n makes it up to Chris with a bit of a pampering session, with just the two of them alone (or so she hopes)

- Requests are open! (slowly getting through them all lol)

Likes, Comments and Re-blogs are appreciated♥️

Chris Evans Masterlist🌟:

Full Masterlist✨:

Taglist Form:💫

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

(Chris' P.O.V)

“Come on bud, it’s time for bed. Lemme have my girl back now” I groaned coming out of the bathroom after prepping for bed, seeing my wife snuggled up with a book in her hands. Dodger has taken over my side of the bed completely, his head on my pillow and everything! Huffing I walked over to my side of the bed, scooped the boy up and put him in his bed by the bedroom door.

“Awk babe you’re so mean, why’d you do that to Dodgy?” Y/n whined putting her book onto the bedside table and scooting over close to me, her arms going around my waist, “Because babe, you’ve already given him so much attention today and it’s not fair”

Yeah I get it i’m jealous over a dog, but is it a crime to want some alone time with my wife? Hearing her sweet laugh I turned to look at her to see her smiling brightly up at me, my scowl breaking slowly joining her laugh. “I'm sorry hun I didn’t notice, you know I love you oh so very much” She cooed caressing my cheek with her hand, her lips pressing a short kiss to the corner of my mouth.

Whines were heard as Dodger sat by the edge of our bed just looking sadly at us, his head resting by our feet. “Come on baby, we gotta let him up here, he’s our fur baby”

(Y/n's P.O.V)

I watched as Chris nodded in defeat, watching on as I lifted up the cover for Dodger to come to the middle, his furry body launching himself between us two. “You’re lucky momma loves you that much Dodge” Chris warned turning to his side, his back facing us both as he let out a deep sigh.

Frowning a little, I looked down at Dodge who was looking upset at his dad “Don’t worry bub, he’s jus grumpy” I whispered to Dodger whose head was now on my stomach, his eyes slowly blinking themselves to sleep.

(The Next Morning)

As soon as I woke up, I let Dodger out to do his business before giving him his breakfast for today. I felt really bad after last night, I know how much Chris values our time together, especially since he’s just gotten back from being away for so long due to filming. Going into the backyard to check on the weather, I suddenly had the greatest idea to help cheer him up today. Heading on outside I lifted up the cover of our hot tub, turned on the jets and covered it back up again. Then in the kitchen I got started on some blueberry pancakes, a specialty of mine that I made for Chris the first night we ever spent together. One by one I put them all onto a tray, drizzling some maple syrup in the shape of a heart.

“Time to wake up daddy Dodge” I said walking up the stairs to our bedroom, pushing the door open to see my shirtless husband star-fished on the bed, even breaths leaving his body.

“Baby? It’s time to wake up” I whispered into his ear as I bent down, running my fingers over his scruffy bed hair, his body starting to stretch the more he started to wake up. His head slowly lifted to give me a lopsided grin before he puckered them out, getting the memo I leant in and gave him his usual morning kiss.

“Ugh I missed your lips every morning” He said pulling away, rolling onto his back and all of a sudden pulling me in with him. His head dipping into the crook of my neck, “Baby you smell so soft and cuddly”

“What does that even mean Chris?”

“Nothin for you to worry bout” He whispered,

“Baby please get up, I made you some pancakes and got the hot tub up and runnin for us” I said in his arms, until he suddenly propped himself up onto an elbow to look down at me.

“What’s got into you this mornin doin all this for me?” He asked with a knowing smile, his teeth biting softly onto his bottom lip, “Well I guess I have been neglecting a certain someone, so I have some making up to do” I smiled taking his face into my hands and pulling him down onto me for another loving smooch.

“God you are so beautiful in the mornin hun”

“Yeah yeah jus hurry up and get your swim trunks on you hunk, i’ll be waitin for ya”

I said pushing him off slightly and going over to my underwear drawer to pick out a swimsuit before he beat me to it.

“Wear this one-“

“Chris that’s not a swimsuit, that’s a white t-shirt”

“Yeah exactly” He smirked wiggling his eyebrows,

“Yeah ok you perv, may as well” I laughed seeing his reaction of putting a fist up in the air as he grabbed his own swim shorts and putting them on quickly.

Ridding myself of my clothes and lingerie, I put on his giant soft cotton shirt, it almost sat like a mini dress on me.

“Come on perv, your breakfast will be cold”

“Only a perv for you gorgeous” He said with an arm on my waist as we descended down the steps, Dodger preoccupied as he sat watching the bird from the living room window, his new dog bone in his teeth.

“You want the pancakes now or later babe? Cause I can put them in the microwave if you want” I asked walking past the kitchen

“Yeah i’ll put em in the microwave, i’ll work up an appetite first. Go ahead into the tub n i’ll meet ya there bub” He said taking the plate out of my hands and pushing me towards the back garden with the softest smile on his face. Pulling back the hot tub cover the hot steam greeted me nicely as I stepped in, Chris' white shirt now clinging my skin leaving nothing to imagination. Thank God we had no neighbours.

“Woahoho am I in heaven?” I heard Chris say before letting out a whistle, a deep blush creeping onto my cheeks, but I blame the heat obviously. Sliding over a bit, I felt him climb in beside me, his huge biceps engulfing me as he brought me onto his lap to straddle him.

His eyes wandering down to my chest and down there before I clicked my fingers in his face,

“Oi mister, save it for later, now we relax”

“Sorry ma’am you are just too darn sexy for your own good, can’t we just skip to later already?”

We both broke out into soft giggles and laugher in each other’s arms, placing soft kisses onto his lips I felt him smile gently.

His teeth tugging gently onto my bottom lip before his tongue came to meet mine in an open mouthed kiss full of passion and love.

“I missed you so much Chrissy” I mewled hugging onto him, the fact I was practically naked leaving my mind completely.

“I missed you so much more bunny, so much more” He whispered out, his hands resting on the small of my back as we just stared at each other,

*SPLASH*

“OW SHI-“

I shouted feeling a huge wave of water wash over us both, looking back to see a panting smiling Dodger sitting on the opposite side of the hot tub with us,

"Out Dodger, its time for me to spend time with daddy okay? Ill give you your cuddles later bubby" I said apologetically pointing towards the door, watching as he dejectedly jumped out, walking back towards the kitchen again,

"Chris!" I laughed looking back to see my child of a husband sticking his tongue out at Dodger, this man…

————

Taglist Tags (Form is up there!^^) : @patzammit @pandaxnienke @seren-a-ity @thereisa8ella @mrspeacem1nusone @evanstanwhore @itsaylayay1213

#romance #chris evans imagine #chris evans x reader #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans #chris evans oneshot

[boofckenhoobitch]

In Another Life - Sparrow! Ben x Reader

A/N: I haven't wrote fanfics/oneshots in so long lmao but I am way too attracted to Sparrow Ben so i have to. Though please forgive me if the style is weird since I used to write on Wattpad a lot so Tumblr format is still something I’m trying to learn lol so bare with me pls and ty and hope you like my writing!

P.S : Let me know if you want a part 2 for the morning after because I thought about it but I don’t seem to have any ideas on how to turn ideas into words lol

Pairing : Sparrow! Ben x Reader (female pronouns)

Word Count : 2500+ (I’m too lazy to separate it into 3 parts so I apologize)

Warning: nothing special, a make out scene, mentions of death

Y/N has the ability of intangibility, it allows her to phase through physical matter. With Y/N’s ability, she was the only one able to survive the first apocalypse. 15 year old Five found her and they spent other 30 years together before Y/N died due to sickness; meaning that Five had lived a whole life with Y/N, only to go back in time and face the Y/N who lived in the present, a week before the apocalypse strike. Five would sometimes tell her stories of them together in the apocalypse and Y/N would just be a good listener and listen along.

You never asked for much in life.

Growing up, you learned not to ask for much given the background of your family. The most that you asked for was for your siblings to stay together as a family, and to have the chance to grow old with the love of your life, Ben.

It’s funny how you didn’t get neither.

With the disappearance of your second favourite sibling, Five then the death of your boyfriend, your family just stopped giving a shit. Missions stopped mattering, people grew more distant and it was everyone for themselves. Your siblings left the house one by one, and eventually you did as well.

There were times where you would try to meet up with your siblings after your departure, doing your best to still connect with them.

Especially Klaus when he was out of rehab, you always tried to meet up with him. You would always ask him if Ben’s with us, asking him questions about Ben and trying to see if Ben said anything back, but Klaus’ answers were always a slurry of nos, along with side comments about anything unrelated.

Eventually you realized that Klaus only really agreed to meet up with you because he needed money from you for more drugs and alcohol, and you stopped trying with your hopeless brother.

Without your brother’s ‘help’ to pass on words from the dead, you eventually gave up. Perhaps that was better for the both of you, as you two were never meant to be.

-

Life is a cruel mistress as one would say.

After saving the world twice, you really thought that for once in your life, you would be rewarded for the good deeds you had done. Instead, you had to hear your sister tell you that Ben had finally passed on, and that he would love you for the rest of his eternity.

It was heartbreaking that those were his last words to you.

And yet here he is, standing in front of you alive and breathing.

God, if you weren’t in shock, you would’ve socked this man in the jaw for toying with your emotions like that.

“Dad, who the hell are these assholes?” Ben asked Reginald. His eyes scanned the group of the Umbrella siblings before his eyes stopped at you, who was standing at the back of the group, already staring at him with a shocked expression.

“ Y/N?”

His voice brought back a sense of nostalgia, like how your Ben used to whisper your name when you cuddled in his bed, or how your Ben would call out your name with a sense of playful annoyance when you teased him; but he’s not here anymore and this is not your Ben, shown by the roughness of his voice.

His other siblings all stared at you from the second floor railing in shock, surprised that you're alive and siding with the enemy.

Ben froze up, and Marcus stepped in as Number One to take control of the situation. After Klaus’ sad attempt to hug Ben along with the many insults and taunts being thrown to each other, a fight broke out between the two groups (and sadly it wasn't a dance battle).

After fighting some of the Sparrow siblings, somehow you ended up in front of Ben. You both stared at each other in a stand off, you could see the conflicted emotions that swarmed behind his eyes. Hell, maybe he could see yours as well.

Both of you felt reluctant to fight one another yet with a sense of suppressed anger, both of your burning stares slowly toughened. You both stood in front of each other, strangers to one another.

You were the first to swing at him, breaking the tension between you both. Your fist collided with his cheek, his upper body turned to the side with the force. Clutching his slowly bruising cheek, he looked back at you hurt or maybe betrayed? You didn’t care as your own mind was clouded with anger. There was a small pause in both of your movements before his eyes hardening, and he lunged at you.

A tentacle sprung out of his chest, wrapping itself around your wrist. Though it was weird, you missed the weird slimy yet smooth texture of his tentacles. You phased your hand through the tentacle sending a chill down Ben’s spine, as he felt the coldness of your ghostly wrist pass through him. You both fought fiercely, attacking and dodging.

Perhaps the held back emotions you both had finally found a healthy release.

You retreated after seeing your siblings’ defeat, with Marcus’ threat and Ben’s lingering stare on you.

You wished to never see him again.

You hoped that you would never have reopen that closed wound again.

———

The second time you met him was when you went out for a jog with your dumb yet lovable brother, Luther.

Your brother, lost in his own world next to you as you both jogged with the same pace.

Slowly, you felt a presence around you, or above you? Your head snapped up, spotting a few ravens flying as they landed on lamp post and park benches around you, they all stared and observed you. Sensing the danger around you, you tugged on your brother’s shirt as you picked up your pace from a jog to a sprint. The ravens swooped and flew towards you two, they cawed loudly as Luther let out a yelp and turned around, running away from you as the birds chased after him.

Seeing the birds and Christopher, the floating box followed your brother, your sprint slowed as you stared at your brother’s retreating form, trying to catch your breath.

Then suddenly, a sharp pain at the back of your head and darkness.

Ben reached out to grab you before your body hit the floor. His glance softened at your unconscious figure and lifted your body in his arms. His siblings, Fei and Sloane watched him with unspoken pity, knowing how much you their Y/N meant to him before her death.

“ Make sure to catch that big oaf.” He ordered as he turned around, making his way back to the Sparrow Academy with you passed out in his arms.

-

You blinked away the blurriness as you sat up in an unfamiliar room.

The walls were filled with photos and as you slowly walked towards them to observe them, you can see that they are mostly of you and Ben.

The you in the photos looked different, a lot kinder and more gentle, she smiled a lot bright and so did Ben. Photos of you two on a picnic, napping together, sneaked photos of one another, or photos where either of you were trying to cover your faces with a smile. It’s weird seeing yourself living another life you have no memories of.

Your eyes stopped on one last photo. The photo was slightly covered and hidden under the other brighter photos, a photo of you standing in front of the sunset on a grassy field. Your features were hidden due to the brightness of the sun behind you, but you can see that you were laughing. Your silhouette looked so happy, reaching a hand out towards the photographer.

“ That was the last photo I took of her.” You looked back to see Ben leaning against the doorframe. Your eyes returned to the photo before covering the photo up like how you found it.

The silence was deafening.

“ How… How did she die?” You finally decided to ask, breaking the silence. Ben stayed quiet as the longing look eyes left and the cold look returned. His posture straightened out and his voice toughened as his head turned to look at you.

“ Come downstairs, my family wants to talk to you and your brother.”

Then he left.

———

Honestly after Ben let you and Luther go in exchange for Marcus, you really really thought you wouldn’t see them again. After all, the deal seemed simple enough and you have no need of seeing them again.

But life never gives you what you want.

So here you are, at Sloane and Luther’s wedding as the world outside slowly get sucked into a black hole. The happy couple danced with each other, as everyone either joined them on the dance floor or sat around the venue, eating and drinking away.

You were on your sixth cocktail, sipping away with a tired drunken look in your eyes. You looked around at everyone having a good time as your eyes landed on Ben who was sitting alone by himself, hunched over the table in front of a bunch of… shrimp?

Curiosity got the best of you so you made your way over in your maroon dress. As you sat down next to him, his head slowly lifted up from his arms, and let out a loud burp.

“ How… Charming.” You said as you looked at the man who once always had his guard up.

“ Ten people. Ten people left and they didn’t invite me to their stupid bachelor party.” Ben said, his eyebrows furrowed.

“ Well you didn’t make yourself a very welcoming person, so I get it.” You reply, letting out a laugh into your drink as you went for another gulp. A hand latched on to your wrist as you turned your head to look at an upset Ben.

“ Why don’t they like me?”

“ Because you’re an asshole, and you’ve been nothing but rude to them, so why would they like you?” You laughed as your finished your drink, his hand slipping from the motion of your hand.

“ Why don’t you like me?” That’s when your laughter died down and you stared at Ben, who was already looking at you. You let out a sigh, looking back into your now empty cup.

“ I don’t hate you, if that’s what you’re trying to insinuate. You just…”

“ Remind you too much of him?” You never told Ben about your relationship with the other Ben, but it was rather obvious how you two were together in your timeline while he was with you in his timeline. You simply smiled bittersweetly at Ben.

“ Sometimes, but in different way.”

“ How so?”

“ Ben was always so annoying. A nerd and a party pooper. He’s like a tiny gray cloud on a sunny day.” You laughed at yourself, knowing if he was still here he would’ve pushed you jokingly for those comments.

“ Those are all bad things…” Ben replied, confused at your choice of words.

“ Yeah… and he was the best thing that ever happened to me.” You smiled, recalling all the old memories of you and him.

“ How… how did he die?” Ben finally asked after a short moment of silence.

“ I wasn’t there when it happened, which was the worse part of it all. I was sent away on a different mission, and when I came back? No one would look me in the eyes and tell me what happened. I had to force it out of Diego who told me vaguely what happened. None of them were willing to go in detail anyways, just called it the Jennifer incident.”

“ My Y/N… she died alone on a solo mission. Till this day, we still couldn’t find her body. I prayed that she was alive and was simply in hiding due to the circumstances of her mission, but that faith lead to nothing and I eventually had to face the facts. She’s gone.” Ben looked ahead, his eyes glossed over as he recalled the memories of himself crying over you, never returning to him again.

“ How was she like?” You asked, placing a hand on his shoulder to comfort him.

“ She was kind. Always so kind even if this kindness required her to sacrifice herself. She was stupid but she always looked for the best in people. After all, she saw the best in me.” Ben smiled to himself and you smiled with him.

“ Both of our better halves died and now we’re just left here, isn’t that just so sad.” You laughed as you went to go pour yourself another drink, perhaps to have fun, perhaps to drink your sorrows away, who knows?

The party continued in the back as you two who were sitting at the bar poured your hearts out to each other, drinking more drinks. The topic slowly changed through the night as you two went from talking about your dead ex lovers to your interests and funny stories of your life.

“ No stop, you did not fucking do that to her.” You laughed as you took another sip of your drink.

“ I did! I also blamed it on Alphonso so him and Jayme both got chores for a whole week as their punishment.” Ben laughed along with you as you propped your elbow on the table, holding your head up as you looked at him with half lidded eyes and a small smile on your face. The alcohol in your system slowly introduced a hint of sleepiness as you blinked slowly at the man. You let out a yawn.

“ Okay, I’m gonna head to bed.” You said as you stood up and stretched.

“ Tired already?” Ben asked, looking back at you with a tired smile.

“ Why? You gonna miss me?”

“ Maybe a little.” He smirked as you laughed. You reached out your hand to lightly pat his cheek as you slowly leaned forward, closer to his face. With a few inches left between you two, your eyes scanned his face as his eyes did the same with yours.

“ Goodnight Ben.” You whispered and kissed him on the cheek. You turned around and walked towards the elevator.

The elevator dinged as the doors slid open in front of you. After stepping in and choosing your floor, you leaned against the wall of the elevator, your eyes closed as you tried your best to stay awake. Suddenly, a hand stopped the doors right before they closed, making a noise that surprised you and your eyes to snap open. And there stood Ben, outside the elevator panting as he stared at you, his eyes so intense as a surge of energy suddenly filled your body and you stood up straighter, staring back at the man.

He headed straight to you at the back of the elevator, his hands found their way to your face as his mouth found its way to yours. Your mouths moved together in a unison while one of your arms hooked around the back of his neck, and your other hand reached up to grip his hair, lightly tugging his roots. He let out a groan as your bodies pressed closed to one another, grinding against each other.

The elevator dinged once again, your mouths separated from one another, slightly panting as you staring at each other with lustful eyes.

“ We take this back to my room?” You asked. You tilted your head and leaned into his hand, his fingers brushing your cheek while you played with his hair.

“ Sure.”

And you all know what happened next.

#ben hargreeves #sparrow ben x reader #sparrow!ben hargreeves #sparrow!ben x reader #justin h min #sparrow ben hargreeves x reader #sparrow!ben #sparrow!ben hargreeves x reader #ben hargreeves imagine #ben hargreeves x reader #tua imagine #tua x reader #the umbrella academy #the sparrow academy

[tiredcowpoke]

TITLE: Reunion [18+] PAIRING: (pre-established) Arthur Morgan/Fem!Reader REQUEST: Unprompted. BLURB: After Arthur disappears for a week after a close call on a job, you can’t help but worry about him. However, upon his return, your reunion develops into something you weren’t expecting. WARNINGS: GRAPHIC SMUT. Do not interact if you are a minor. Some mild angst.  NOTE: I didn’t expect to return to writing in this fandom with this in mind, per say, but it just kind of happened. lol Regardless, please enjoy!

You were worried sick, to put it lightly.

This wasn’t exactly unusual–you knew better than anybody what risks came with riding with the gang. Yet, you couldn’t help but worry about the people you had grown close to. Arthur was especially someone you kept in your thoughts pretty often, and given the more intimate developments in your relationship with the gruff outlaw, his wellbeing was a recurring worry for you. The first night after the rest of the group that went out on the job returned without him, you were naturally worried, but tried to brush it off for the time being. Arthur had spent more than a couple days away from camp at points.

Yet, with how the details of the job sounded more and more like a close call, his absence weighed on you more than it would’ve otherwise.

A night turned into two, then almost four, before your concern was keeping you up at night. You tried to talk to Dutch about it, but he dismissed it. In a way that he likely hoped didn’t come across that way, but it did in your eyes. Arthur had disappeared in the past–usually no longer than a week before someone was sent out to go find him, but in this situation? This wasn’t just some time away from camp. With the exhaustion, stress, and worry that was sitting on your mind, Grimshaw breathing down your neck about picking up your slack had you feeling all the closer to snapping.

Considering how long you had known the woman and her temperament, you didn’t want to get to that point with her. Not unless you wanted to get on her really bad side.

So, leaving camp seemed like the best choice at the time.

You had definitely toyed with the idea of going out to search for Arthur yourself, yet you were at a loss as to where to begin. Plus, with how fresh this job was, you didn’t want to put more people in danger by digging around places that you really shouldn’t be. You had to remind yourself that Arthur was strong, he could take care of himself and had done so in the past. You losing sleep over him being gone won’t change that.

On the other hand, you didn’t want to dismiss the idea of him being in danger completely. Not when it could be a disastrous choice. Still, you knew you weren’t really thinking clearly–Arthur was the backbone to a number of things around camp, they wouldn’t just let him disappear.

Still, as much as you wanted to believe that if they weren’t worried, you shouldn’t be too, and yet you couldn’t.

You just knew that you didn’t have a path to start on that would be helpful, and with your nerves like they were, you wouldn’t be of much help either if something had really happened. Settling into a room at the nearest hotel in a town nearby helped put some of the pressure off, but it didn’t really stop the nervous restlessness and those thoughts from circling when you tried to sleep. In reality, you hadn’t really been gone from camp for more than a night or two, but in your mind it felt like ages. While you had managed to eventually sleep a full night, exhaustion winning out in the end, the short amount of days kind of blurred together.

So, as dramatic as it was, when he showed up at your room on the third night, you weren’t sure how to react.

Relief settled upon seeing him, alive and well, yet a part of you also wanted to be angry about the stress his disappearance caused. It had been a week.

“They told me you was worried,” Arthur said, pulling you out of your head, “Didn’t mean to do that, but you know how things can be.”

“I was scared, you…” you started before trailing off as your voice faltered somewhat before letting out a small huff. “You bastard.”

“Never claimed to not be one,” Arthur replied, stepping forward once you moved around him to close the door behind him.

Regardless of the quick exchange, he accepted you wrapping your arms around him. Arthur returned the embrace, placing a hand on the back of your head as you buried your face into his jacket. He smelled like horses and dirt–like he had been traveling, though you could smell some soap on him that suggested that he had bathed recently. You felt a small pit of embarrassment settle in you at the realization–if he had time to clean himself, he clearly hadn’t been as worse off as you had been fearing. A part of you that was born out of that feeling wanted to apologize for worrying, that you felt silly about it, and yet everything that still scared you.

While your relationship with him was relatively laid back, not making too much of a big show of it in camp, you couldn’t help but feel that part of you that was harbouring feelings for him. If anything, it only grew bigger, and in moments like this you could certainly feel it.

“I’m sorry I scared you,” he muttered into your ear, resting his cheek against the side of your head, “I got pinned by some law, then bounty hunters–it’s a big mess, but I’m fine. We’ll be fine. So…don’t need to worry no more.”

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I don’t think I can stop worrying about you,” you muttered into his embrace–while you had meant the words to be teasing, they came out more like an admission as you let out a small sigh.

“Then I guess it’s too much to ask for. Still, this ain’t the first time stuff like this happened, and likely won’t be the last.”

“I know…” you replied with another sigh, slowly pulling back from the embrace.

You took in his appearance, the tiredness of his expression and the look in his eyes. Arthur’s eyes were always something you had been drawn to, a part of you almost wishing he would meet your gaze when you had first joined the camp and yet almost couldn’t handle it when he would. Now, though, you met his gaze steadily, the softening look that crossed his expression when he took in your words. He also looked relieved, which left you with the impression that maybe he had been a little more worried than he wanted to let on.

After a few moments, you reached up to cup his cheek, the growing stubble there scratching lightly along your fingers and the palm of your hand. You leaned in, pressing your lips to his. Arthur responded instantly, pressing back into the kiss as he slipped his arms around your lower back, holding you to him as you moved your hand to cup the back of his neck, fingers resting lightly in the hair at the base of his neck. He broke the kiss for a second before capturing your lips again, the kiss more firm than the light, reassuring one you had originally pulled him into.

Arthur gently started to push you backwards, which you fell into step with after a few awkward steps. You backed into a nightstand in the room, easily slipping around it as Arthur backed you against the wall. He pressed himself close, the wall at your back and his chest pressing against your own as he deepened the kiss. You somewhat clumsily reached up to find the brim of his hat that was already lifting away from his face anyway. You pulled it off his head and placed it down on the table beside you somewhat blindly before sliding a hand up into his hair, lightly gripping a handful as Arthur let out a low noise from his chest.

Finally, you parted from the kiss for some air, which only caused him to bow his head to kiss at the base of your neck where it met your shoulder. You hummed lightly in pleasure at the sensation, gripping your free hand into the back of the collar of his jacket.

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” you said somewhat breathlessly, tugging lightly at the collar of his jacket as a signal that you wanted to take it off.

Arthur pulled back enough to where you could work on pulling the jacket from his shoulders, his own hands moving from your hips up toward your front so he could work on undressing you as well. He pressed another lingering kiss just under your jaw as you pushed his jacket down his arms.

“Missed you so much,” he muttered, shedding the rest of his jacket, “Didn’t want to see anybody else before I saw you, but…”

“You’re here now, that’s what matters,” you returned, shouldering off the bit of clothing he managed to unbutton.

You reached out to undo the first couple buttons of his shirt, dropping your head down to press your mouth against the exposed skin near his neck and collarbone. Arthur gripped your hips, pulling you against him as you placed a hand on his shoulder and slipped your hand around his back. While you hadn’t intended to get into bed with him upon his return, it was the more dominant thought now. Given the way Arthur was holding you to him and his wandering hands, you had a feeling that he was feeling something similar.

This wasn’t the first time you had slept with him, but usually he was a little more relaxed and took his time. At the moment, as he pulled at another bit of clothing he wanted off you, it felt like he had been wanting to do this for a while. While you were more than fine with how he usually went about this, the excitement of the current moment was equally as intoxicating. Finally, you lifted your head from where you were kissing along the skin of his exposed shoulder as you unbuttoned his shirt. He shouldered that off in turn, just leaving his upper body in his union suit.

Given the heat of the area you were all staying in, you were grateful for the fewer layers. It also meant that you didn’t have a ton of clothing on you either, which became apparent as you felt him push down the last of your outerwear. Wanting to even the score, you reached down to start unbuckling his pants. You could see and feel the starts of a prominent bulge, working on opening the front of his pants.

However, Arthur interrupted that by seeking out your mouth again. He cupped the back of your head with his hand, the kiss hard and you easily welcomed his tongue as you grazed your own against his. Admittedly, you were a little dizzy, your heart pounding hard in your chest but you were craving his hands on you.

Thankfully, you got your wish as you felt him move his hands from your hips to slip under the edge of your chamise. His skin was warm and rough, the feeling pulling a small inhale from you as he slowly slid them up. While his touch was familiar, it still sent little shivers over your body and in that moment you realized just how much you had been missing him in this aspect too. Always too busy, always too many people around, there was always a reason why you should leave it for another time.

You trailed your hand along the waist of his open pants, Arthur once again interrupting that as he pulled back from the kiss with a small inhale. You felt him stop his hands just under your breasts, a small surge of frustration cropping up in you but you didn’t voice that just yet.

“You want me to…?” he asked, part genuine question and yet you could catch a touch of amusement at what was likely the barely held back frustration in your gaze.

“Yes. Please,” you replied almost instantly, “I want to touch you so badly too.”

“I want that too, sweetheart,” he said in an almost breathy mutter as he pressed his mouth against yours again.

You pressed back into the kiss with a light moan, though you took in a breath when you felt him cup your breasts with his hands. Arthur moaned against your lips, pressing a little closer as you arched against his touch, pressing your shoulders back against the wall again. He squeezed and fondled them as you moaned lightly into the kiss, followed by another short, pleasured sound as he rolled your nipples between his fingers.

Once you managed to find your thoughts again, you finally dropped your hand into his pants to palm at his hard cock through the fabric of his union suit. That action pulled another groan from him, Arthur breaking the kiss as you rubbed him with a firmer press as he lifted his hips against your hand. He moaned aloud at that, the sound only arousing you further. You could feel him squeezing your chest a little harder as his attention moved toward what you were doing to his cock.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this worked up, Mr. Morgan,” you observed, teasing but it was hard to hide the arousal that mingled in your tone.

“I dunno, I…” he started, trailing off as you rubbed at him with another firm stroke, “Shit.”

“After the amount of stress you put me through this week…” you started, palming at his hard cock again as Arthur groaned, rolling his hips into your touch again. An idea was forming in your mind. “Well. Maybe we should get in bed.”

You were purposefully slow in removing your hand from his pants, as he was to finally drop his hands out of your chamise and work on removing the last of his clothing. Following suit, you both were finally nude as you climbed up onto the bed but didn’t lay down.

“Here, lay down,” you said, clearing some of the blanket away for him, “You can take my side.”

“You bossin’ me around now?” he asked, pulling a small grin from you.

Despite the question, he did what you directed. Arthur lay down on the bed on his back as you moved to sit next to him. You reached out to wrap your hand around his cock, giving it a couple strokes as Arthur dropped his head back against the pillow with a light moan. The sight was enough to almost make you want to forget the idea you had and just ride him. It wasn’t like you weren’t just as into this as he was. Yet, you had been told patience with this gave more of a reward in itself.

Considering how you had lived for a good couple years in your early adulthood, you had heard some stories and you wanted to see if it was worth the gossip at the time.

“What’re you doin’?” Arthur asked after a few moments, causing you to chuckle despite yourself.

“Nothing out of the ordinary,” you replied, giving his cock a few more strokes before you removed your hand. You rose up on your knees somewhat, gently grabbing one of his hands and resting it near your groin. “Help me out?”

Arthur caught on to your intention pretty quickly, moving to sit up somewhat and slip a hand against your lower back and guided you a little closer so he could push his hand between your legs. You sucked in a short, quick breath at the feeling of his fingers rubbing along your folds. You rolled against his movements a little, Arthur pressing a finger just inside so he could rub along the more sensitive parts. You moaned lightly as he brushed a finger against your clit, sending a small spark of arousal into your core.

He continued those motions for a bit, rubbing and circling as more noises started tumbling out of you freely. Eventually, Arthur pushed a single finger into you, pumping in time to your little thrusts as you gasped. Given how wet you were, he added a second finger shortly after. He cupped his hand somewhat, pushing and pumping his fingers in you as you thrust down against them. You found yourself naturally moving a little faster, craving the contact while also warning yourself that you don’t want to get too close to an orgasm if you wanted to try what you were thinking.

“You look beautiful like this,” Arthur breathed, watching as you rocked yourself against his fingers. You met his gaze, his pupils blown wide and a look of almost wanton concentration on his face.

“So do you,” you replied, knowing he was going to dismiss that but it was true in your eyes. You had always thought he was a handsome man, but in moments like this? He was intoxicating.

You let out a low sound as you could feel yourself threatening to come undone with that line of thought.

“I want to try something,” you said around a breath, stilling your movements, “I’ll need to be on top of you. You wanna play along?”

Arthur took you in for a moment as he deliberated before he nodded, looking a little confused but his curiosity seemed to win out. “Sure.”

With that, you had him pull his fingers out of you so you could get in his lap. Sinking down on him was eased by the work his fingers had done, but there was still that bit of an uncomfortable stretch as you took him all in. Arthur gripped your hips, letting out a couple moans and curses as you did so. He rolled his hips somewhat, which caused you to gasp a little but otherwise it wasn’t too overwhelming at the moment. You rested your hands on his chest, meeting his gaze as you lifted your hips a little experimentally before stilling again.

“For this, you can touch me but you can’t touch yourself,” you said, shifting back to a better position.

“Whatever y’want, darlin’,” Arthur replied with a nod.

Finally, you started to move, which honestly felt like you both were almost begging for it at this point.

You found an easy pace at first, enjoying the way his cock filled you and pressed against your walls. Arthur moved his hips, a pace you tried to match as he guided you somewhat with his hands on your hips. It wasn’t too long until you were riding him in a way that was really pulling you closer to that edge, moans and whimpers falling from your lips as he thrusted up into you. You could feel yourself getting dangerously close but not enough to actually come, so you pulled yourself off Arthur’s cock.

The sudden absence was a little uncomfortable for you, feeling you twitch and flutter around nothing. However, the groan Arthur let out told you that perhaps you were doing this correctly after all. He reached out toward you, some concern touching his expression.

“What happened? You alright?” he asked, making you smile and lean in to kiss him.

“I’m fine,” you replied once you pulled back.

You reached out and started to stroke his cock. It was slick with your fluids, which actually aided you a bit with the lighter touches that you intended. You didn’t stroke the full length of him, just touching him enough to where it would get a reaction. Arthur moaned, rolling his hips against your hand, but you released your fingers somewhat before he settled again. After almost a minute of this, he let out an almost pained groan.

“Is this that thing you wanted to try?” he asked, somewhat breathless.

“Yeah,” you replied simply, keeping up your purposeful movements as you glanced back toward him with a small, teasing smile, “I want to even things out. You kept me on the edge of panic all week, so…”

It took him a moment to clue into what you were doing, but when you noticed his breathing was getting less erratic you figured he would have pieced it together soon anyway.

“You ain’t…” he started, tilting his head to meet your gaze, “I don’t think you’re gonna hold out.”

“No?” you asked, removing your hand, “I feel fine and I think the evening’s still young. We have all night, too.”

You shifted so you were straddling his lap again, aligning yourself over his cock before sinking down again slowly. The sensation pulled those sparks through you again, the sudden stop not being the most comfortable for you but it was manageable. Arthur, however, groaned deeply as he lay his head back, lifting his hips against you again as you moved with them like you had done before. You moved slowly, making sure to time your little thrusts when he tried to move at the speed he needed. Just enough to pleasure him, but not enough to really allow him to get to where he needed to be.

As much as a part of you just wanted to give in and just let you both get to that edge, you could admit there was something very arousing at feeling Arthur’s grip on you get tighter, his movements more demanding. You caught yourself slipping a bit when he’d hit certain parts of you, making you move a little quicker and chase the pleasure. However, you slowed as you caught yourself. You didn’t want him to get his way–not yet.

Though, in a way, you losing your grip on your discipline seemed to get more of the effect you were going for. As you locked down on him again, pressing your hips down against his, Arthur almost squirmed as he let out a loud moan.

“This ain’t like any torture I ever heard of,” he commented around a heavy breath, his hips twitching under you a little as he let out a small grunt.

“I feel that good to you?” you asked, rolling your hips again, “You like this?”

“Yes,” he replied around a pant, “I’m so–I want…”

“What?”

“I need you to move, darlin’. Please.”

With that, you lifted your hips. Arthur immediately thrust up into you, hard and kind of sloppy. Yet, it hit you just right, which had you matching that instinctually as you cried out a few times. You continued to bounce somewhat on his cock, Arthur’s moans getting more frequent and louder as you did so. You could feel yourself tightening up a little, a small twinge in your gut as a small warning. Yet, you continued to ride him, the tips of your fingernails digging into his sides somewhat as you let that wave of pleasure build up in you.

You slowed down again, feeling your walls tighten and flutter as you cried out a little at how close you were. Arthur groaned under you, loud and pure desperation as he gripped at your hip and side tightly. Despite wanting to roll your hips against him, you held yourself back. Feeling his cock twitch inside you wasn’t a help, however.

“Oh–shit. I’m achin’,” Arthur said after a moment, voice strained somewhat between some little groans and pants. “I’m so close, you gotta let me come. I get what you’re doin’. Please…”

You looked him over for a moment. The flushed complexion, his face and body covered in sweat as he breathed heavily, his eyes somewhat glazed over.

“...Okay,” you said, “I got my point across. I’m really close too.”

You picked up your pace again, letting Arthur move freely as he chased his long awaited release. You tried to press your hips down in time with his thrusts, but even your legs were tired and your movements were a little sloppy as you quickly felt that build up in you again. It didn’t take too long before your walls clenched around Arthur’s cock, the rush of your release making your back arch as you cried out. Arthur wasn’t quite done, but you could feel him moving through your orgasm as he moaned loudly and kept pounding up into you. Immediately, you were oversensitive, the sensation becoming painful as you cried out again.

Finally, Arthur spilled over that edge. He slammed his hips up against your own as he came with a shout, his knees digging up under you as he curled his legs somewhat as his back arched with the sensation. He followed that up with a few short rolls of his hips, moans and half utterances escaping him as his orgasm washed over him.

Despite the drawn out process, that reaction made it worth it. You almost wanted to grin, but you were currently trying to come back down from your own orgasm, mouth open as you tried to catch your breath.

Arthur kept his hips lifted against you for a few more moments before dropping them back down onto the bed. You immediately rolled off him, collapsing into the unoccupied side of the bed with a small grunt. Arthur was catching his breath beside you, eyes shut as he finally started to come down from what just happened.

“I…” he started after a moment, “I don’t know what to say…”

“Me too,” you replied around a soft chuckle, “You’re okay? I think I got carried away…”

“Carried away,” he muttered around a chuckle, the lighthearted nature relieving you a little, “I gotta disappear more often if this is what happens…”

“Please don’t.”

Arthur shifted, wrapping his arms around you as he settled against your side. He pressed a kiss to the back of your shoulder, lingering there for a few moments as you relaxed into his hold.

“Really am sorry for makin’ you worry like you did,” he said, making you turn your head to glance at him over your shoulder somewhat.

At his expression, you rolled over so you could face him. You wrapped your arms around his torso, pressing your head into his chest as he held you tighter to him. The steady rhythm of his heart in your ear, you let out a small breath. While you couldn’t help it, you knew you worried too much. It wasn’t like you didn’t know the risks, but…

“For a while, I had thought you were gone,” you muttered, “Got shot somewhere, captured and hung or something. Yet, I know that happens. I just…I got scared. I don’t want to lose you.”

“Never saw myself as someone worth that fear, but…” Arthur said after a few moments, which made you look up at him from where you were curled into him. “I do my best to not let any of that happen. Can’t say it never will, but…I’m here right now. I ain’t goin’ nowhere.”

‘I love you’ came so quickly to the tip of your tongue that it genuinely surprised you. You could feel your stomach clench at the realization, the words so close to slipping out. Yet, you knew there would be a better time to confess that. You didn’t know if he even had similar feelings, but in quieter, more serious moments like this, it made you wonder.

It made you reach out to cup the side of his face, pressing a lingering kiss to his mouth as a replacement for saying something you might regret on impulse.

“You’re here now. That’s enough for me,” you replied once you pulled back, settling down against the pillow near his head.

“...Where the hell’d you learn that, anyway?”

You chuckled sleepily. “I think I deserve some secrets. I don’t need you getting even.”

#arthur morgan x reader #arthur morgan x female reader #my writing.

[cuddlyscribe]

As long as requests are open I'm gonna be a major nuisance! 😁 More Kazuya plz! This time with fluff (mostly anyway) Really wanna spoil him. This time loving femdom s/o is planning to give him an awesome birthday! Both SFW cuteness and some NSFW if possible. Thanks in advance!

[thank you so much for your patience as I finished this!! and please, I love nuisances!! 😂 your requests give me life and I have been loving writing all of them! I hope you enjoy!!]

Kazuya probably doesn't even know it's his own birthday. Like this man is so overwhelmed with his plans for world domination and fighting his child that he doesn't have the time to think about celebrating. And if we're being honest, he probably hasn't thought about his own birthday since he was a child.

But he knows that you have to be up to something when he notices that you're hiding things from him, being secretive. He knows it's nothing terrible or bad, but it does pique his curiosity. He won't let you know that yet, though!

One time while you were working on his card, he manages to just teleport behind you somehow and peeks over your shoulder. You quickly hide what you're doing from him, but he just smirks and gives you a kiss on your temple. Now he's got an idea of what's up, and he thinks it's possibly the most adorable thing ever.

Yet the excitement of his special day doesn't quite strike him until it's the morning and you're already out of bed, which is not normal at all. Kazuya's instinct is to worry instantly, but when he smells something incredible coming from the kitchen his worries fade away.

There's balloons and presents set out on the kitchen island, confetti strewn about the counter and on the seats. It's a quaint sight, nothing fancy or spectacular but you've clearly put your heart and soul into it. That and whatever amazing thing you're cooking up right now.

Kazuya is... Speechless. He almost doesn't know how to express his gratitude or his feelings at all right now because that part of him has been closed off for decades. It's amazing how all this time he's been with you, you've slowly and carefully helped him let down his walls around you. Frankly, he never thought he'd get to feel excited about something like this ever again.

The rest of your day together is spent with the same calm yet jovial mood. Kazuya opens his presents and carefully inspects each one with a grin. Everything is exactly something he'd want; you really do know him so well. But as cliche as it might sound, none of that compares to the love that he feels when he's around you. Now that is truly the best gift you could've ever given him.

SPICE under the cut!

And let's be real, what birthday for your man is complete without some incredible birthday sex? If you want to make sure that Kazuya feels that extra bit of love and appreciation on his special day, please make sure that you worship this man like a god.

Hell, this is still Kazuya we're talking about. Can you say god complex? He'd never admit it, but he'd probably come just having you worship and praise him and touch him all over. He doesn't treat you in a degrading way, but he absolutely loves to know how much you love him too.

Oh yeah, this man is all about the cock worship. Please please tell him how good he stretches you out and how there's literally no other man on the planet that could make you come over and over like he could. It makes his head spin like nothing else.

I also just get this feeling that Kazuya would SO have a breeding kink with you, but that's a whole other request that I would write immediately if asked LOL

#tekken #tekken x reader #tekken x you #tekken x y/n #kazuya mishima #kazuya mishima x reader #kazuya mishima x you #kazuya mishima x y/n #kazuya Mishima smut #smuttyscribe

[j0kers-light]

His Lighthouse: Choices part one (LedgerJoker x f!reader)

Choices part one 

series summary:  

Y/n is an aspiring writer living in Gotham City and struggling to find her next muse. Her recent novel is getting all the buzz, earning her far more attention than she signed up for. But when a chance encounter results in her nursing The Joker back to health, will she find the time to write another best seller or will her own story become front page of the Gotham Gazette?  

chapter summary:

As the aftermath to the gala event unfolds Y/n must decided on what she truly wants out of her deal with Joker. Will she continue down this road with him or will someone else distract her heart?

Author’s note:    

It feels like forever since I updated! I’m able to hold my phone with my hand so that made typing easier this go round. It still took too long (in my opinion) but my therapist said I’m making some progress! Which means I have more time to recover and write lol. I’m on a roll! I’m so happy where this story is going! I have part two sketched out and the story outline going so I don’t get off track. I also changed the rating so that means *drum roll* ITS GONNA GET SPICY SOON! The slow burn is well worth it! Read to find out.

Taglist!

@blackreaderatrisk​

Last Chapter | Next Chapter 

Joker never saw you asleep before so he didn't know if this was normal.

He was amiss on what to do after you fainted on him but decided to make you as comfortable as possible. With how your night was turning out, it was the least he could do. You were light as a feather in his arms as he carried you from the center of the room over to his bed.

It was the only thing in the otherwise barren room. Joker considered himself lucky to find this particular hideout untouched by the GCPD as they combed the city searching for him.

It wasn't his favorite locale but he couldn't be choosy given the circumstances.

In the day that Joker spent away from you, he managed to get his crew in order, gain control of his main stronghold, and move equipment out of the few remaining hideouts that had yet to be compromised over to the main.

A busy day, yet you were on his mind the entire time. He planned a hit on the party you were attending, but nothing went according to plan.

Joker wasn't a guy to plan things.. but for once he wanted things to go smoothly! Now he had to re-strategize and wait for Two Face's next move, all the while keeping you out of it. Joker did not want you caught up in the middle but he feared you already were. Which became the reason why he ordered Frost to bring you here.

He couldn't help but watch over you as you slept. He never saw you so vulnerable before– so demure and otherworldly.

Your formal attire highlighted your natural beauty and despite the lack of natural light in the room, your jewelry twinkled and caught his eye.

Joker knew real diamonds when he saw them.

He also knew that sleeping in your best threads was bound to be uncomfortable. He fought the urge to pocket the fine jewels and slid your bracelet off your wrist before unclasping your earrings. You didn't like that and shifted, hinting at your possible alertness but thankfully you simply rolled onto your side.

Joker was about to tackle taking your braided updo down, when you began to talk.

He thought you had woken up but green eyes widened upon discovering you were still fast asleep. So you talked in your sleep? Interesting..

It was interesting to see your mind still at work even while unconscious. You continued to amaze him however your actual words worried him.

"Dead doves. Lemons... no not there. Don't burn the sandwiches!" Your entire body jerked and Joker knew the telltale signs of a nightmare from anywhere.

He sincerely hoped your sandwiches were okay.

You continued to thrash around until he tossed morals out the window and pulled you into his arms. If you woke up now he'd willingly face your scrutiny. Joker marked this down as another newfound joy.

He didn't know that holding someone close could feel so good and apparently you thought the same.

You calmed down and resumed a normal sleeping pattern. The takeaway was that you used Joker as both a personal pillow and a teddy bear. He couldn't escape even if he wanted to and honestly, why would he?

You were snuggled up against him, humming softly in your sleep. It was cute and it fit your personality.

One of your hands rested awkwardly on his neck and while he was moving it, he saw the jagged cut he left on it days prior. It was healing nicely on its own but he hoped it didn't scar. He didn't want you to have a permanent reminder of his mistakes.

Joker didn't know what possessed him to kiss your palm; Maybe as an apology or rather a prayer towards good health, either way he repositioned your hand to lay against his dress shirt.

It would wrinkle with how tightly you latched onto it, but feeling you nuzzle your head further into his embrace was worth every crease.

"You're more trouble than you're worth." Joker extended his arm to pick up a book on the side of his bed.

He didn't dare move too much and risk waking you. It was just a challenge for him to reach it. His hands found purchase and he was able to prop the book up on your head to read in his downtime.

You woke up alone. For not knowing your surroundings, you were well rested and yawned loudly.

A flash of red caught your eye and you drew your hand back to check it. You were a bit confused to find a perfect lipstick mark over the cut Joker gave you.

"Where did that come from?" Then it hit you.

The color red. Blood and so much of it. How could you forget a night so horrific? Everything came rushing back to you in stunning clarity.

You were talking with Sapphire and then bumped into Polly for a potential endorsement and happened to witness sheer madness in the form of Two Face and his goons shooting up the place. You felt sick just thinking about it. Each face in the crowd, each person who lost their life, entered your mind. You didn't know them yet their deaths somehow felt like your fault.

Sapphire's felt more personal. She was right there in front of you.

If you had more time, thought on your feet, did something instead of standing there useless, perhaps she would still be alive. You did nothing but freeze up in the heat of the moment.

Whatever happened to your Blüdhaven instincts? Whenever you heard gunshots growing up, it was just background noise and one less thing to worry about.

It was natural to duck for cover but a younger version of yourself wouldn't have been so terrified. Maybe annoyed more than anything. Cooped up indoors all the time had reverted your reaction time to violence right back to square one.

You felt more awake now and blinked to clear your fuzzy vision away, though you realized your mini concussion was still screwing with your system. You looked down and finally took stock of the state you were in.

The designer dress that was delivered to your home was unrecognizable with its dried blood splatter and huge rips throughout it.

You thanked a higher power that it wasn't on loan.

It was just a shame you would have to toss out a once beautiful art piece. However you were quick to notice something else was missing here. It would have to wait. You were sitting on a mattress inside a room you didn't recognize.

Your head was still spinning but not overly so where you couldn't remember how you got here.

A man in the crowd saved your life and delivered you straight to Joker. It was a surprise to see the clown after the argument you two had, yet he greeted you wholeheartedly and kissed... you...

Was it wrong to hyperventilate over that fact rather than almost being killed?

You had finally kissed Joker! The third time was indeed the charm and this time, Joker didn't require any gimmicks to reach his goal. He just went in and claimed your lips like the zealous man he was. You couldn't lie and say that it wasn't worth the buildup.

Joker was hesitant at first until you met him halfway and matched his energy.

His lips were a bit chapped but quickly molded into the softest clouds to tango with yours. Every move was done with careful precision and his patience was greatly rewarded. How long had you denied him this small luxury, this obvious desperation to connect?

There was so much tension between the two of you it was ridiculous.

You teased and bewitched him for so long, your kiss felt like a balm being applied on a sore wound. The relief was instant and it felt good to experience and have out in the open for Joker to feel.

But there was one teeny tiny problem. He promised that he wouldn't leave you. One look around the room made him into a liar. Almost as if Joker had some sixth sense, he walked in right after you formulated the thought.

You were right where he left you, awake of course, just with a troubled look about you.

Joker knew your thinking face and your thoughts must've been running a mile a minute. He slowly walked up to your side of the mattress, searching for any clues that you might lash out.

You appeared rather calm to Joker but looks could be deceiving. He sat down on the bed and you quickly bombarded him with questions.

"What time is it? Where am I? Why did you tell that guy to bring me here?" You tossed out

"It doesn't matter." Was Joker's casual response. Surely he was joking.

"What? Yes it does matter! I don't even know what time it is, or if it's still Friday night or not. You have the answers to these questions Joker! I was at a high profile event that ended in mass murder. Barbara and Florence must be worried sick along with Sebastian! Oh my God, poor Will! He read all of my online posts!"

"Who are these people?" Joker asked while trying to keep his jealousy in check.

Wayne was enough competition. Joker didn't need others, though it was safe to say he claimed first place to your sought after affection when he kissed you.

"Where's my phone? I have to make some calls.."

"No." He shifted in his spot on the bed.

The action called out his close proximity to you, however you weren't bothered by it. You were bothered by how he kept brushing you off.

"What do you mean no?"

"I mean.. There's no cell service soooo no calls." Joker stressed his words and you knew you touched a nerve.

In a detached voice you said more to yourself. "So we're underground."

Joker watched you process that info. He could practically see the wheels turning upstairs. The nail on the coffin was when you abused your lip right in his face. He just couldn't stand watching your soft flesh be bitten raw.

Joker didn't hesitate bending down to kiss you and your brain promptly shut down like Windows. He sighed in bliss and you kept quiet as he pulled away.

You hated to burst his bubble. "I need to go back to my apartment."

That's what you thought about after he kissed you? You always managed to test his patience one way or another but this was new. Sometimes that brain of yours worked too much.

Joker exhaled through his nose. "No."

His lack of sensitivity on the matter was irritating you. "Can you stop saying no? It's getting on my nerves."

"O-K. Mm, how about, it's too dangerous."

"How is it dangerous, Joker?!" You asked in a cynical tone.

"Y/n. Harvey Dent went out of his way to crash your.. uh, little gala thingy. You don't think he wouldn't show up at your apartment? I would if I were him. It's more convenient.. and you can control the wit-ness count."

"Are you seriously critiquing his methods?! Ugh, I don't have time for this! I have to go back home and get in touch with Cindy to make an official statement and mourn Sapphire and the others and then check on Polly and and—"

He really had to stop kissing you mid sentence. It was very distracting but maybe that was his intentions all along.

You indulged him a bit more and really got into it. Joker was pushing your shoulders, trying to guide you back down on the bed when you resisted and gasped for air.

"I-I really need to s-shower and change! I don't know how you're kissing me when I feel like death itself."

He sighed and sat up straight. He pointedly eyed you up and down and decided on telling the truth. "Ya look fine to me. Blood suits you."

That comment made you turn pale and question what you looked like from his perspective. You remembered Sapphire's blood splattered on your face at the party but how much was left?

Since then, you had a sack placed over your head, rubbed your face all into Joker's suit, and slept. And somehow he kissed you despite all of that.

Either the man was in love or completely insane. Both were true.

You frowned and glanced down at your bare arms, trying to change the subject with something else in the room. Then you remembered your missing accessories.

"Where's my bracelet?" You patted your ears and came up short. "And my earrings?"

Joker had the audacity to feign ignorance. With a shrug he replied. "Hmm, probably being sold on the errr, black market."

"JOKER, YOU SOLD MY JEWELRY?"

He began to laugh as he leaned back on his arms. You hated how hot he looked splayed out on the bed. Hopefully he didn't see you staring but he turned to face you as if he felt your wanton gaze.

"I took them off when you were sleeping. It didn't look comfy if you catch my drifT."

He nodded at your wrist where a red indentation of the bracelet was visible on your skin. You did mention to Barbara that she fastened it on too tight.

"I can't believe you sold them!" You were appalled.

Joker however took it all in stride. "You'll get over it." Obviously he didn't know how much the set cost.

You took a deep breath and carried on. It was a major loss, but you had more pressing matters.

"I still want to shower." You argued. Joker rolled his neck. You could tell he was losing the last of his patience with you.

"Okay... you might not care about hygiene but I do. And I'm leaving here with or without your permission." You stood up to leave but ran into a problem.

You couldn't find the door. The walls seemed to blend in flawlessly with no apparent doorframe or knob.

"About that.." Joker whispered in your ear making you jump.

You turn to face him and in the process, unknowingly backed yourself into a wall. Its smooth surface was cold on your exposed skin and it made you even more uncomfortable by touching it.

You thought humor would lighten up the situation. "What is this place, some kind of bunker?"

"Yes." Joker said without missing a beat. He stalked you like a predator with his dangerous aura perched on his shoulders.

"You can't keep me here, Joker. I.. I.. can't!"

He eyed your twitchy behavior and the puzzle pieces slowly came together. You were claustrophobic.

These four concrete walls were a stark contrast to the bright, open space of your apartment. It would explain why your place had so many windows and few walls to not obstruct the floor plan. Now Joker knew why you always grew nervous when he bullied you into corners.

He felt like an idiot for not noticing the signs sooner.

Your makeup was a mess from sleeping in it but his red lipstick was dotted all over your face from where he'd been kissing you. Joker was about to comment on it when four knocks echoed loudly in the room.

A door not even an inch away from you opened up revealing the man who rescued, or was it considered kidnapping? You really didn't know what to call his actions really.

He spared you a glance but dragged his attention over to his employer, towering over you. "The news is on."

Joker growled. "Oh goody. Let's see the mess Dent left us with." He walked out the room with his right hand man, leaving you high and dry with the door wide open.

You didn't know if it was a trap or if Joker did it by accident. Either way, it was a way out. You didn't waste a second.

Wearing your heels would make too much noise but you still grabbed them before tiptoeing barefoot to the door.

You stepped out into a long hallway. You saw the back of Joker's cloak turn a corner out of the corner of your eye and you immediately followed him, not knowing where else to go. His destination ended up being an office of sorts where a box tv was perched upon a folding table.

The volume was being turned up when you snuck in behind the two men. As promised, the aftermath of the gala was being shown as a local reporter broadcasted live.

"Tragedy struck The Prosperity last night as partygoers were caught in the crossfire of recent gang member activity. Sources confirm former Gotham City district attorney, Harvey Dent himself, crashed the event demanding special guest and popular YA author, Y/N L/N, be handed over. At this time, her whereabouts are unknown but eyewitnesses place her at the event before the slaughter occurred. Many fear the worst and an ongoing investigation into her disappearance is underway. Twenty nine people lost their lives and dozens more are still in critical condition at local hospitals. Startling video footage from inside the event was leaked online that depicts the harrowing scene and we must warn you, the following images are graphic."

Like you needed a refresher on what happened but apparently someone who attended the party captured the mayhem on their phone.

The video was shaky and the loud screams and close popping of gunshots depicted the scene as nothing but chaotic. In the far left hand corner you could see Sapphire's demise blocked by a few terrified guests before you were yanked out of frame. If you blinked, you would have missed it.

The reporter was continuing her coverage but you had (re)seen enough. You were slowly backing out of the room when a sharp pain in your head took you by surprise.

"You shouldn't be sneaking around Princess."

It was the same voice that catcalled at you when you were first brought here. It held a distinct, slimy tone that made your skin crawl. You didn't hesitate in screaming and dropped your heels in the process. They rattled loudly to the floor.

Joker and Frost both spun around in attack mode but found a new recruit holding you steady by your hair.

Although Joker didn't show it, he saw nothing but red.

"Heh! I caught her snooping around Boss. I know how you hate a rat." The poor guy looked proud of himself despite Frost shaking his head.

He knew what was coming and discreetly stepped to the side.

Joker's green eyes narrowed at the scene and caught your gaze at the last second. The glassy color made him hesitate on displaying any form of violence in front of you. It wasn't his norm to be merciful but for you, he could make an exception.

Joker walked up to the guy and slapped his hand that was holding your braids away. "I applaud your, uh.. dedication kid, but let me make something veryyyy clear."

You sighed at the pressure dissipating and sagged your weight into Joker's awaiting arms.

The intimate gesture made the guy pale in fear. He realized his mistake a little too late. Joker's eyes were like sharp blades stabbing into its victim.

"Don't ever touch what's mine, you got thaT?" Even Frost understood the message loud and clear, although it was the newbie who answered.

"Y-yeah boss. Listen, I.. I'm sorry. I didn't know."

Joker scoffed and began to massage the back of your head as if he knew exactly where the pain was coming from.

"Of course you didn't knowww! I didn't tell you but here's the thing. She's kind of a secret right now so I'd really appreciate it if you kept this between you and me. Can ya do that?"

"Y-Yeah of course boss!"

You could picture Joker's wide grin, deceit and utter madness fueling the motion. "Good. It's good to have people you can.. trust close. You can go."

Surely this guy wasn't that naïve and actually believed Joker's lie, yet much to your dismay he left with a big smile on his face, like he was truly honored to gain Joker's trust.

As if it could be gained so easily.

He barely rounded the corner when Joker leaned over to whisper to his right hand. "Take care of that later."

"With pleasure." Frost said with a chuckle.

You couldn't believe your ears. This was the man who you were falling for. The level of standards you set for yourself was an all time low. You tried shrugging out of Joker's arms and he noticed your demeanor change almost immediately.

"What's with you?" He asked.

"Me?" You huffed at the accusation. "You just ordered a guy's death like it was Chinese takeout!"

"He made the miss-take of putting his hands on you. Nobody touches what's mine without my say so, you got thaT?"

"No! I don't got that! I am not an object Joker. I'm a human being and last time I checked, I am not yours!" You managed to free yourself from Joker's hold and created some distance from him.

Frost did not get paid enough to witness lovers' quarrels. He was still in the room and thought it best to leave. "Yeah. I'm gonna go snap his neck and dump the body. Call me if you need me."

Joker waved goodbye to Frost which did nothing to help his case.

"See what I mean!?" You shouted.

"Y/n, you know who I am. Why does it suddenly bother you? Is it.. because you got to see it with your own eyes? Oh Bunny.. you can't fear the monster under your bed when he's been sitting at your dinner table for weeks."

Joker was reaching out for you again but you were faster and retreated two steps back.

You hated when he was right. You spent so much time with Joker yet you only saw the façade he wanted you to see, not the real monster he truly was.

He was Gotham City's most wanted criminal, not a sweet roommate that complains about the thermostat and pile of dishes in the sink. You two weren't in your apartment anymore. He didn't have to play house and pretend to be someone that he wasn't.

You weren't prepared to see Joker's true colors despite knowing well in advance who he is.

He used your moment of uncertainty to wrap you up in his arms. You were so confused.

It felt so good to finally be held by him but your brain knew the circumstances behind it were all wrong.

There was a reason why you didn't read gangster/mob tags in fanfiction! The ending never turned out well for the girl. She always struggled with her emotions and ended up getting hurt every single time trying to love the villain.

You were an author. You knew there was no happy ending here. This would only lead to angst and suffering on both sides. While you struggled with your feelings, Joker seized the moment to memorize every curve of your body.

You fit into his arms like the last puzzle piece snapping together. He could say with confidence you were made for him to hold.

Joker remembered one of your characters in The Greeks Among Us say that to their partner. It sounded sappy when he read it, but now it made all the sense in the world. His natural curiosity prompted his hands to become more adventurous.

He slid them down the slope of your back while his lips traveled up the column of your neck.

You felt his staggering breath on your ear and had enough.

Despite you holding onto the lapels of his suit for dear life, your words were pushing him away. "I'm so confused."

"Shhh." Joker left a kiss on your jawline. "Stop thinking so much and accept it."

That comment made you come to your senses. You shoved Joker away and stood your ground.

"Screw that! I-I need time to think and I'll do it in the comfort of my own home. I'm not gonna let y-you seduce your way into my good graces when you could have prevented that!"

You pointed at the tv screen showing the gala event being processed as a crime scene.

"I want to go home, Joker." You wished your sad puppy eyes worked on him better.

He simply averted his eyes. "It's not safe."

"I don't care. I'm going and I wish you would try and stop me."

Joker didn't bat an eyelash. "Okay?"

"Fine. I'll go by myself!" You yelled.

"Y/n.."

You ignored him and bent over to pick up your heels. You left to find your way back to the original room you woke up in. Thankfully it wasn't too hard and you located your long forgotten clutch sitting in a corner.

Looking inside you found your earrings and bracelet, confirming Joker's comment about him selling them on the black market to be false. You liked Joker better when he was funny and not so methodical in his pursuit of pure chaos.

This was too much to process. Why couldn't things go back to how they were a week ago?

Your head was still spinning from bumping it in the van last night and thinking about Joker wasn't helping the pain lessen. Your only concern right now was getting out of this bunker and contacting Cindy to begin some serious damage control.

You might not be able to control Joker and his actions but you could control your public image.

You decided to stay barefoot until you reached street level and started the grueling journey of finding the exit. You didn't expect to run into another one of Joker's henchmen. And fate would have it, it was the same one that brought you here.

He blocked your path with his towering frame and you quickly drew into a shell. "Hi.. um."

"Turn left, then go up the small flight of stairs. Take another left and the door outside is on your right."

He was about to walk past you down the hallway, when you stopped him.

"Why are you helping me? Don't you have orders to keep me here?" You asked.

"You're stubborn just like my daughter." He mumbled under his breath. "No I don't."

His confession made you stop and realize these criminals could very well lead normal lives. Given their nefarious deeds they were still capable of doing the right thing and were still human.

Could Joker be normal? Perhaps in another lifetime.

You imagined Joker with a family living in a house outside the city limits. A Joker whose laughter was carefree without evil, holding a son or a daughter that looked exactly like him...

Your wild daydream made your ears flush beet red and the guy in front of you quirked his eyebrows at the visual. No wonder you got along with Joker. One of your screws upstairs were loose.

You recognized that look from anywhere. A look of veiled judgment and it made you snap out of your thoughts to defend yourself.

"I-I promise I'm not crazy! Well not clinically that is. Um, I didn't quite catch your name when you were saving me last night."

"Frost." He looked down at your hand laying on his forearm. You quickly removed it.

"Cool.. so um thank yo–"

"Just go woman. You're not needed here anymore." He huffed out, nearly exasperated.

Your foot froze mid step and you tossed an "Excuse me?" over your shoulder. It was apparent Frost wasn't intimidated by it.

"It's obvious you don't belong here. Run along back to your ritzy penthouse where you came from."

If it were possible, steam would be blowing from your ears. Here was Joker's right hand man blatantly telling you off and you were supposed to take it?

You seriously had enough of people ordering you around like you were some kind of invalid. You weren't a push over.

"You're a terrible driver and worse at offering advice."

"At least I don't have lipstick all over my face." He shot back. You frowned in confusion and he decided to give you a break.

"Bathroom is behind you." With that, Frost left you stumped in the maze of a hallway.

Sure enough immediately behind you was a door that opened up to a decent sized powder room. Or should you say former bathroom.

The area now was decrepit and riddled with squalor. You didn't want to touch anything let alone use the mirror. The once reflective glass was cracked and murky with age and neglect.

And they called this a bathroom. "Sweet Jesus deliver me." You didn't dare turn around and see the toilet. The smell alone hinted at its current state.

You stomached through its stench and scanned your face in the mirror.

Just like Frost said, the same shade you bought last Monday for Joker was scattered all over your skin. There were a few lipsticks marks on your mouth and faint ones trailing down your neck.

The harsh red stood out on your complexion and you sported a comical tick mark of irritation until you remembered there was also a lipstick mark on your hand.

Was it a sign of regret? You questioned earlier if Joker was capable of being normal. That one lipstick print was all the proof you needed.

I'm his own way, yes he could. You were tired of running away. It was time you stood up for what you wanted.

Who carried if it wasn't the right choice? Perhaps you might end up regretting it later in the future, but for now, you retraced your steps back to Joker.

His head shot up when you appeared in the doorway.

He hoped you didn't catch him pacing back and forth deep in thought. Joker had a million things he needed to do and not a lot of time to complete them in, but you always managed to bomb rush his thoughts and take center stage.

Would you make it back home safely? Would you calm down and see the reason behind his refusal to return or was this the last time he would see you?

Joker stopped pacing and picked at his cuticles. He didn't like that last scenario.

He refused to let you go yet. He liked how you were a (somewhat) independent woman who could speak her mind.  Smart and drop dead gorgeous with a sprinkle of crazy, he really didn't want to fumble this bag which is why he panicked when he saw you panting out of breath before him.

You caught your breath by clearing your throat.

"I am.. tired of running away and bottling up my feelings. I'm sick of taking two steps forward and having to retreat back miles and miles when something goes wrong between us and trust me, it always does. One of us says the wrong thing or our actions speak louder than our hearts, yet we always manage to make up."

"I'm going back to my apartment and.. and I'm asking if you want to come with me. This isn't some 'two week up in the air' agreement like last time. Of course I want you healed... but this is just me— being selfish and simply wanting you there with me. We're both adults here, Joker. So let's cut to the chase. Stay with me.. until I think about what this is."

You ended your speech waving your hand in the space between you two.

Joker hummed in that vague tone of his but this time you didn't know if it was positive or negative. He cut the distance between you and him short by meeting you in the doorway.

Now that he knew you were claustrophobic, he didn't crowd your space even when his personality demanded it. He liked to invade people's personal space and intimidate them. He would have to train himself to stop around you.

"Hmm. I'll be spotted if I return to your place with you. I need a smug op."

"A what?" You were elated that he was agreeing to come back but his terminology threw you for a loop.

Joker fought back his grin seeing your head tilt like a puppy. Your bright, young mind had a habit of turning off from time to time during the most inopportune times.

"Are you serious about us? Me. Staying at your place?"

Joker was too nervous to speak in full sentences but you understood him word for word and nodded. Joker nodded to himself and started hatching a plan.

"You won't be a ahhh secret anymore, I'll have to get you involved. Stay behind me." He said.

You were thoroughly confused and had no other choice but to follow wherever Joker was dragging you off to. You definitely regretted not putting your heels on.

This bunker was truly a maze with all kinds of twists and turns that Joker led you through.

By the fifth left turn, you were turnt all the way around that you would never make it to the exit that Frost pointed out to you.

The end of the wild maze brought you to another unmarked room noticeably larger than the first where dozens of men, all in various conversations, were in the middle of activities like playing cards or arguing over the game being displayed on a flat screen tv.

This must be their common's room.

You felt out of place in your torn designer gown but Joker calmly walked up to a pair of men who immediately stopped talking to greet their boss.

Joker skipped the pleasantries and got to the point. "I need... a covert smuggle operation."

The men looked from Joker to you completely speechless. The rest of the room followed suit. Joker smacked his lips, patiently waiting but nothing happened. And so his patience waned.

"Did ya ears stop working? You. Your name- uh Mark something. Whatever. I need to sneak into.." Joker gestured at you awkwardly standing behind him. ".. her apartment without being seen. Can ya do it?"

"It's Mac but yeah wh-where's the place?"

You saw Joker's brain troubleshoot. He stayed at your apartment for weeks and he didn't know your address. Talk about awkward.

"Move Joker. Honestly..." You gently pushed him to the side and everyone in the room gasped.

"Hi Mac. I live on Quinn Street in the North Grant Row building. It's the white glass rooftop high rise near the Grant Park fountain. I can keep Joker hidden from view up until Gotham Square but the rest of the way, I'm not too sure. Can you help?"

You leaned against the table and Mac got to see your beauty up close. He would be a fool to say no.

He totally forgot about Joker standing next to you. "For you, I'd love to. I have to say I ahh.. I'm not very familiar with Old Gotham."

"Really? Oh it's not that complicated! Lots of old alleyways and one way streets to duck in and out of. I'm just worried about the open streets the closer we get to my complex. Hey, can I borrow that map?"

You asked a guy, a table away, who was openly staring at you. He looked to Joker for approval and then handed over the map. You thanked him with a smile and he proceeded to swoon.

You smoothed the map out onto the table and pointed to a spot with your nail. "Here. There's an awning that we can stop at. It'll be the last cover Joker has before it's an open shot."

Mac stood up to see better and hovered by your side– a bit too close– for Joker's likings.

Unfortunately the blond didn't notice.

"Oh that's uh First National bank. I think. We can do a swap there if the Boss gives the green light on it. What's the security at your place like?"

You sigh. "That's the problem. It's tight. Front desk staff with only two entrances; the main lobby and a service on the side of the building, here. If you can help Joker make it to the apartment building, leave the rest to me. I'm the top floor tenant so I have special privileges. Plus there's a restricted passageway that Joker can use to my apartment."

"A whaT?"

Everyone turned to stare at Joker.

He had sat down after watching you interact with his men like some seasoned gofer. Joker honestly didn't know if he was turned on or concerned by how at ease you were around them.

You met Joker's gaze head on. "I rarely use it but there's a secret tunnel. I'll um explain later, it's a long story."

Up to this point you tried to ignore the intense pressure that came with being watched but you couldn't stomach it anymore. You were a big girl and you could handle confrontations. So you turned around to address the issue.

"I'm sorry. What's your name?"

You pointed to the second guy, a stocky brunet, who was seated at the table with Mac. His demeanor came off very aggravated ever since you walked into the room.

He snorted while crossing his arms. "Boss, you lettin this broad order us around?"

The whole room went silent and it was a tossup to either look at Joker or you. However, the majority of the crowd chose the latter.

It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out his problem. You had written countless characters just like him so you knew exactly how to deal with his kind.

Once again you wished you were wearing your heels to appear taller.

"I may not look like it– but I'm no pushover. I really wanna go home and you and your misogynistic attitude.. is standing in the way of that."

"So?"

You took a breath to calm yourself. This man was really trying you. "So... I'm asking you nicely to stop being a dick and avoid ending up with Pookie and nem' in Port Adams. Yeah. I know the lingo; this ain't my first rodeo. I'm from Blüdhaven, south side at that, so by all means! Buck up to me again and I promise you, I'll write your obituary with perfect grammar."

He rose up from his seat and began a staring contest. He was sizing you up until a humorless laugh cut through the room.

It was sarcastic and dark in nature, sending a chill down your spine. Everyone in attendance turned to face their boss who was seated with his hand propping up his cheek and ending his theatrical laugh.

"She's a feisty one isn't she? It's gotta be that, uhhh.. Blüd in her. She's still running on adrenaline so I'd listen to the nice lady, Flint. That obituary might come as a surprise. The truth hurts ya know."

Flint understood what Joker was implying and wisely sat back down.

He was still brooding as you finalized the operation with Mac and kept a cautious eye on him.

In the background Joker ordered Frost to dismiss the rest of the men who weren't needed. They didn't need to hear the rest of this conversation. As the last goon left the room, Joker approached the table where the three of you brainstormed.

He'd deal with Flint's attitude later. Joker got the impression that you were no stranger to violence but witnessing any form of it terrified you. Perhaps your childhood turned you away from it? He wasn't too sure.

However if Joker was staying with you for the unforeseeable future, he needed to ensure that all of his business remained behind closed doors so you didn't have to see it.

Although that could wait. Joker had more pressing matters to think about. Like how you stood up for yourself without his help.

In a room full of men you demanded their respect, barefoot and while wearing a ripped designer gown. Joker was more than proud, he was absolutely feral after seeing your more bossier side.

Recently he only saw your docile and sweet nature.

Cooking him meals, stumbling over your words around him, to being on the receiving end of your coy gestures. It was a complete 180 and boy did he love it. So what if everyone saw him eyeing you like a piece of meat? He wasn't ashamed.

Joker wondered if you would complain if he took you right here in front of—

"..ker! Of course you're not listening. We're ready to go whenever you get your head out of the clouds."

You rolled your eyes and leaned back over the table to iron out some more kinks with Mac. He was more than happy to work with you and see this secret tunnel you mentioned.

Joker was too busy shaking himself out of his daydream.

Much as he would like to establish dominance and claim you as his for all to see, he knew your current attitude was just a front.

You used your tough Blüdhaven upbringing to face his crew but the minute you two were alone, Joker knew you would revert back to the introvert you were. The one that tucked tail and ran away every time he tried to make progress with you. He hoped you didn't after all of this was over.

Just overhearing the conversation you planned, this operation would be risky. Doable, but it was cutting too close to home.

Were you really serious about him staying with you? You were proving it in your actions but Joker would have to find out if your heart was on the same page when he got you alone again.

The meeting was wrapping up and Mac offered to show you the way to the awaiting vans.

Everyone was leaving and Joker waited till you were out of sight before dragging Flint back into the room by his collar.

"Hi..." The awkward crimson red smile on Joker's face was not friendly.

Flint knew his actions had consequences but he didn't think they would come back to haunt him so quickly.

His eyes darted everywhere but at his boss who was proving the saying, 'if looks could kill' absolutely true.

Joker wagged his finger at the male while slowly circling him.

"You're a great guy but I really... reallyyy thought about killing you earlier. But I didn't! Wanna know why?"

Flint was used to working for a psychopath yet nothing prepared him to be held at knifepoint and the blade digging into his mouth. He blinked and Joker held his life in his unpredictable, makeup covered hands. Honestly, that was a typical Saturday around here.

"You wanna know? I'll tell ya. The thing is.. if I killed you– Y/n would've saw it! She's very.. sensitive to these things and I'd.. hate.. for her pretty little head to worry. I. Don't. Want. Her. To. Worry. So.. you're gonna do your joB and listen to her plans and if you don't?"

Joker tugged on the knife, digging harshly into Flint's gums "You don't want an obituary written out for you. Hm?"

Flint shook his head no along with Joker. He froze when another henchman came into the room.

"Uh Boss?"

Joker's fingers danced on the knife's handle. "What."

"Y-Y/n is waiting for you. She's getting impatient in–"

Joker looked at the newcomer and didn't realize that his hand slipped while holding the knife. A pained grunt gained Joker's attention. He took one look at the gash he made on his employee and cringed.

"Oops. I uh.. hmm. Patch that up and oh c'mon at least it's not ear to ear!" Joker patted Flint's shoulder and walked out to join you in the van.

The newbie and Flint both shared a look. Y/n was a touchy topic best left alone.

Your original plan had to be revised.

Walking in from the street was too risky so Mac proposed ditching the original swap at First National Bank and went forward with dropping you and Joker off at the service entrance at your place. Joker was a wanted criminal and with your current state of dress, neither of you could be seen.

The cover story for the front desk staff was another furniture delivery that Mac thought on the fly.

The story went as follows: You escaped The Prosperity massacre and made it to your apartment where you passed out from shock. The delivery man woke you up.

It creeped you out how believable this lie was. Short, sweet and to the point.

From the service entrance, you and Joker would meet up with Mac on the eleventh floor, he having taken the main entrance to sell the lie.

If all went well at the front desk, it was smooth sailing. A foolproof plan that even Joker had to applaud. Joker followed you as you guided him through the service hallways and passed by the apartment building workers in the area.

The giant service elevator was behind a wall and gave you and Joker some time to breathe. You spotted a surveillance camera above and noticed the red light was off.

Parked a block away one of Joker's software techs, (you chose not to think about how he had one on his payroll) hacked into your apartment complex system to disable the cameras.

Everything was carefully thought out and when the lift softly chimed open, you all but shoved Joker in before hitting the eleventh floor button. You sagged your weight on the stainless steel walls and missed Joker's wary green eyes checking you out.

He knew this mission was quite stressful on top of you not processing things from last night's attack. When you were finally situated at home, you were gonna crash like a bag of rocks. He would make sure you got some much needed rest.

The lift dinged on the maintenance level and you lowered your guard thinking the coast was clear. Joker's arm pushed you back inside in just enough time to avoid walking into Mac.

He looked up from his phone to Joker then at you, stunned speechless.

"How did you...?" You asked after a while.

He left at the same time that you and Joker did. Either he teleported here or..

"Don't ask that question. Where's this secret tunnel you talked about?" He looked around the maintenance room but didn't find anything remotely similar.

Joker was curious too and decided to speak up. "You said you'd explain later. It's later, Y/n."

The two men hoped you didn't lead them to a dead end and waited for an explanation.

"Alrighty then... It's not really a tunnel per se, more like a hatch. The construction workers needed an easier way to transfer large equipment and materials during the renovations to my penthouse and made one. I only used it once during an emergency, i-it's practically useless."

You walked over to the far end of the room to grab the step stool you left last time, only to find it missing.

"What? I had a step ladder right here. Where did it go?" You scanned the room looking for it but Joker was losing his patience again.

You tried to stifle your scream when Joker picked you up and sat you on his shoulders.

You couldn't believe this was happening but you kept blinking and sure enough your head was grazing the ceiling. Joker rolled his eyes knowing your mind was spinning faster than the Earth with questions.

"Just tell me where to go." He mumbled.

You stole a glance at Mac who pointedly avoided watching the scene unfolding before him. Smart guy.

You guided Joker over to a portion of the room, trying to keep your thoughts PG.

"I-I never opened it from this side before but there should be a.. Ah here!" You wobbled a bit on Joker's shoulders but he held you steady.

His head swam when your thighs clenched around his neck. Why did he put himself in these situations with you? You were unaware of Joker's growing dilemma, you had felt around the ceiling until a mechanical popping noise was heard.

Much to their surprise, a decent size latch opened up from the ceiling. Joker regretfully sat you back onto your feet, missing your warmth around his neck already.

"How many people know about this, Y/n?" Joker pointed to the ladder. You cleared your throat and answered.

"Well– the contractor, his employees, you and I, and now your crew. Why?"

"Dwindle that number." Joker said without looking back.

It took you a minute to realize Joker wasn't talking to you.

Mac gave you a look, 'don't ask', before he mentioned he was going to survey the rest of the complex building and left. Before you knew it, Joker was already halfway up the ladder.

"Wow! What a gentleman Joker! You couldn't wa–"

His voice floated back down. "You have a front door. Use it."

If he remained down there with you any longer he wouldn't have been able to control himself. He reached the top and took in your neat storage closet. Another mystery door in your hallway was explained.

He was looking around the organized shelves and heard something outside the door that made him pause.

Your head was poking up from the top of the ladder and Joker waited until you found your footing on the floor above before he slapped a hand over your mouth.

"Shhhh shhh bunny. Are you expect-ting anyone?" He left a brief kiss behind your ear as an apology for scaring you.

At this rate you'll have red lipstick stains everywhere.

You shook your head and froze when you heard something heavy being knocked over, followed by a loud curse.

"Keep it down, she could be in here." A voice said.

Another one answered just as fast. "Sorry!"

Someone was in your apartment and by the sound of it, more than one person. You knew Joker wanted to say, 'I told you it wasn't safe' based on his pointed glare.

He pushed you towards the wall right underneath your large supply of paper towels and whispered his warning. "Lock the door when I leave and don'T come out until I turn the door knob four times."

He knew the moment you were away from his crew this would happen.

Gone was your tough persona replaced by his timid little Y/n. Your big doe eyes were fixated on him and already glazing over in panic..

They glanced down to his leg and Joker was reminded that he was still on the mend from his shootout with te GCPD. This was the most troublesome gunshot wound he had to date.

"I'll be fine, Y/n. Keep quiet." Joker whispered to you.

He then reached for the door handle and slowly opened it to step outside into the hallway. He heard the deadbolt lock immediately afterwards.

Smart girl. He thought to himself.

Joker didn't see anyone from his position in the hallway but he couldn't dash over to his room where his duffel bag of weapons were stashed underneath the bed.

He would have to be light on his feet, something ever since his injury– he was unable to do.

Joker had his trusty knife in his pocket but against two possible assailants (and maybe more) with unknown weapons of their own, he wanted to enter this fight prepared. He knew Dent and his half burnt boys never played fair so he would have even the odds.

It was too quiet in your closet and it felt like time stood still as you waited for the door handle to turn.

Were you supposed to hear something? Was silence a good thing or a bad thing? These past twenty four hours had been brutal on your nerves already. You were getting antsy just sitting around waiting, so you did the exact opposite of what Joker told you to.

You got up and opened the door.

Your apartment felt foreign with the fact that people were here unannounced. How many were here? Just how badly did Two Face want to talk to you?

Scratch that. Why did he want to talk in the first place? Random people were raiding your house all because of a fictional misunderstanding.

Each door in your hallway was closed but you wanted to be double sure. The main bathroom was empty so you moved onto the two guest bedrooms. They were empty too.

Maybe your imagination created a second voice to scare you but Joker heard it too! Moreover, you sighed and closed Joker's bedroom door when your heart took a dive straight to your stomach.

"No!"

Joker heard you scream and the sound of something breaking and thought the worst.

Once again you made him lower his guard and he only had seconds to dodge the fist being swung at him. A perk of fighting in private/public areas. Guns were too loud and hand to hand combat reigned supreme.

Right up Joker's alley.

The poor guy didn't stand a chance as Joker parried the fist and used its momentum to flip the intruder over onto their back.

A moment of hesitation cost him and the slight stinging pain in his hand was the price to pay but Joker knew killing the guy wouldn't earn him any brownie points with you.

Instead of slicing his throat open Joker opted to snap his neck. A good compromise he thought, but then he realized that it wasn't just a bit too late. He would lie about that later.

He remembered you screaming and ran (more like limped) towards the hallway to assess the scene. He found you standing over the second intruder still holding half of a decorative item in your hand.

You were panting and jumped when Joker grabbed your forearm to pull you away.

He checked the guy's pulse, definitely unconscious, and the oozing blood on the back of their head confirmed a guaranteed headache whenever they did wake up.

"What did you do?" Joker ended up asking you.

He eyed how your body was still shaking, either from adrenaline or from fear, he didn't know.

"H-He was about to.." You swallowed loudly. "He was about to go into my room."

Joker was well aware your room was your escape from the world. In the two weeks he'd been hiding here, he only knew the walls were dark in color.

No other glimpses inside and you most certainly didn't talk about what lie therein.

It was your most kept secret; it was no wonder you bashed the guy's head in to stop him from entering. Once again you amazed Joker with your bravery but he did have to scold you.

He opened his mouth to speak but followed your line of sight to his hand. It was red from the slash the first intruder managed to land on him.

"Why are you bleeding?" You whimpered. The bauble you currently held fell from your grasp. Neither of you cared that it landed on the guy's head.

Joker glanced at his fresh wound and rolled his eyes. "Calm down bunny. It's just a scratch. I thoughT... I told you to stay in the closet."

"I wasn't gonna let you take on two guys at once! Are you crazy?!"

"Uh yeah." He replied. It was common knowledge. "I told you it wasn't safe here but you.. don't listen. I'll have to assign people to guard your building. There could be more.. uhh unwanted visitors. I uh.. I can keep you safe, that is... if ya want me to really stay?"

Joker didn't mean for it to come out like a question but he wanted to be sure that this is what you wanted and not some spontaneous decision made in distress.

He stepped over the unconscious goon and entered your personal space.

It was instinctive yet you weren't uncomfortable by his proximity. In fact you gravitated closer to Joker and rested your hands on his chest.

The air was thick with uncertainty and Joker wondered if now was the time that reality set in for you. Would you kick him out and never talk to him again? He thought through all the possibilities in the same amount of time you came to a conclusion.

Your heavy sigh gained his rapt attention. This was it; you were saying goodbye. Your sad eyes confirmed it.

"Like I said earlier, I don't know. I knew having you in my life would be dangerous and scary but until I figure out exactly what I want– I'll have to embrace the unknown. I have to accept who you are and the baggage that you carry, along with the risks. I'm scared, Joker... but I'm also scared of how I'll feel if I don't give you a chance."

Joker's eyes widened when you held his hand up to your cheek, miraculously avoiding getting any blood on you.

With every word your lips grew closer and closer to his.

"You promised me– you promised you wouldn't leave. I want to try us. Please don't–"

Then the doorbell rang.

Joker was two seconds away from throwing a tantrum. Every time he was in the middle of having a moment with you, fate had to intervene. He sighed through his nose as you glanced at the door. You were about to pull away when Joker grabbed your hands.

"Y/n, wait. It could be another attack."

You broke your hands free and wiped Joker's blood off on your gown. It was bound for the trash anyway.

"I highly doubt if they were coming to kill me they would ring the doorbell."

You were too stubborn for your worth. He growled lowly as you moseyed over to the front door and looked into the peep hole.

Joker frowned when you yelped and snapped it shut.

"Hide Joker!"

"What? Who is it?" He wanted to see who it was, but you shoved him back towards the hallway.

You didn't notice the guy's motionless body near your dining room table.

"J-Just a second!!" You shouted over your shoulder at the door. "You have to help me change. Now!" You whispered to Joker.

"Who's at the door Y/n?"

"Bruce!" You didn't hesitate to fling your heels across the room, drastically dwindling your height, and you were shrugging off your draped gown when Joker's brain short circuited.

Obviously you weren't thinking things through because you wouldn't have stripped in front of Joker if you were.

Did you forget that two men were unconscious, one of them (unintentionally) dead in your apartment and in the same room as you?

Joker was wondering what rare good deed he did to deserve a show like this. Despite the odd circumstances, he was still a male. Watching you undress was mesmerizing.

Joker's eyebrows jumped up seeing your skimpy black panties as you bent over and his eyes nearby rolled back into his head when you...

"Hide the bodies somewhere while I go change!" You cupped your breasts and sprinted to your bedroom.

The door slamming shut was the last thing Joker heard before his mind switched to autopilot. You weren't wearing a bra.

Now he'd seen some pretty bizarre things in his life and especially living in Gotham City, but the greatest sight of all was you stripped down to your underwear.

He could only imagine the full unobstructed view.

He cleared his throat and got to work dragging the dead body to your storage closet. While he was in the hallway, he grabbed the unconscious one by the foot and pulled him inside as well.

Joker didn't register that he sent a text to Mac to dispose of the two bodies on the maintenance floor before he kicked them down the secret ladder.

Their body weight landed loudly on the floor below yet Joker's mind was still racing with the visual of you. He closed the door to the storage closet the same time you stepped out of your room.

This all took place in less than three minutes. You decided to wear simple grey sweatpants and were struggling to pull down another fan T-shirt when you caught the pair of green eyes looking your way.

"Well don't just stand there! Go hide!"

Joker just nodded and walked in his room.

That was weird, but you didn't have time to question Joker's odd behavior. Bruce was waiting outside your door and you knew exactly why he was here.

You waited until Joker was safe in his room before sprinting towards the front door– a quick deep breath was the only preparation you gave yourself. Then you opened the door with a smile.

"Sorry for keeping you waiting. Come on in!" You welcomed Bruce Wayne inside.

His dark eyes felt like a lie detector ray as he scanned your frame. If Bruce noticed your frazzled appearance, he was a gentleman and didn't comment on it. That didn't stop you however.

"I probably look a mess. It's been a.. well a terrible night." You chuckled to yourself, knowing good and well the joke wasn't well received.

You weren't expecting Bruce to hug you.

Your short gasp was muffled by bands of muscle and expensive fabric. His cologne smelled phenomenal and did a good job of lowering your defenses.

The past twenty four hours finally came crashing down on you and the weight (along with Bruce and his natural charm) broke you down.

"I was so worried when I saw the news. Barbara called me in total hysterics asking if I heard from you." Bruce squeezed you tighter and somehow guided you over to your blue couch.

Why did his arms feel so safe? Not even five minutes ago you were confessing to Joker that you wanted to try things out with him yet here you were in another man's arms.

You could hear Florence's favorite quote, "she's a slut!" bouncing off your eardrums.

"I thought that Two Face captured you or worse. I was in the neighborhood and decided to stop by and check on you. Imagine my surprise when you answered the door. Y/n, talk to me, are you okay?"

Bruce pulled away just enough to see your face. He tucked a loose braid back over your shoulder. His deep chuckle startled you out of your musing.

"I find myself being so forward with you, please forgive me. I call you out of the blue, I try to take you out to dinner, and even now I arrive at your home unannounced."

You had yet to say anything but that didn't stop Bruce from asking the unthinkable.

"I worry. It's not safe for you here while Dent has a price for your head." That made you look up in fear.

It was the first time you heard Dent's intentions with you. He wanted you dead over a fictional book? The man was insane!

"This might be too forward of me but I can't stand you being unprotected. Come with me to Wayne Manor."

You could've sworn you heard something break in the bedroom.

"What?"

Bruce backtracked seeing your confusion clear as day. "Hear me out. I have the best security money can buy and you'll be taken care of while this whole Two Face situation quells. I'll personally guarantee—"

You cut Bruce off. Judging by his gentle smile he wasn't bothered by it. "Y-You want me to stay at Wayne Manor? With... with you?"

"Yes." He added, "At least until I know you'll be safe on your own."

You shook your head and stood up from the couch. It was a lot to take in and it worried you that you were actually considering on going.

Bruce knew you needed time to think about his offer.

He wasn't sure it was appropriate to ask, (he hadn't been on a date with you for crying out loud) but he couldn't bear if anything happened to you.

He got the distress call from Oracle aka Barbara right as the GCPD and Jim Gordon were dispatched to the scene.

Barbara was indeed beside herself with worry and cried the entire time Bruce tried to process the scene. He came to the conclusion that you had miraculously fled the scene by your partial fingerprints leading down the event stairwell.

But at the back alleyway, your trail went cold.

Batman and all of his advanced gadgets could not find you, so he waited until daybreak to search for clues as Bruce Wayne.

He didn't lie, he was visiting his Foundation chapter near Wayne tower when the idea to check your apartment hit him. Bruce didn't hesitate interrogating the front desk and slipped a hefty sum into their pockets to keep his visit confidential before heading up to the top floor.

He wasn't expecting to see you open the door nor to find you were still in disarray from last night.

He couldn't ask you where you stayed last night but it didn't take a genius to know it wasn't at your place.

Your heels were tossed across the living room, he heard you do it, and the designer gown you wore to the event (he thought it looked outstanding on you) was in a pool of fabric by the door.

They were all indicators that you changed quickly before answering the door.

Something else to the equation was missing but for the life of him, he couldn't figure out what. Bruce had a hunch that Dent would target you again and as much as your apartment was 'safe and secure', a breach could happen at any minute.

Your life was too precious to leave up to chance.

Bruce would not sleep peacefully until you were safe under, well.. over, the batcave on the Wayne Manor grounds.

"I.. I don't know.." You mustered out. You fiddled with a braid while you paced in circles.

Bruce watched the erratic steps for any emotional clues, but found none. Just a lot of confusion, copious amounts of stress and inner turmoil. You needed to rest.

He sighed to himself and stood up to make his way towards you. He stopped you mid pace by taking ahold of your hands.

They were clammy, but Bruce didn't care. "Please consider my offer, Y/n. Call me and I'll have a car pick you up immediately if you accept." He bent down to kiss your knuckles and noticed the smudged blood on your skin.

It sent alarms to his brain that Bruce Wayne couldn't address. If he were under the cowl, he could coerce you into telling him where you were.

Perhaps if you said yes to staying with him, he could coax it out of you in another way. Right now your brain was overwhelmed and running on fumes. He would take his leave.

You said nothing as Bruce saw himself out. What could you say? You shocked yourself by considering his offer. God, why were you so confused about everything?

"Aren't you going with him?"

You screamed hearing Joker's deep voice in your ear. The whiplash from dealing with Bruce straight to Joker had a girl tripping.

You dragged your hand down your face, exhausted. "Stop scaring me like that.."

"Again. Are you going Y/n?" Joker bit back. Each word was harsh in the air and it put you on the defensive.

"Is this some trick question? Why does it sound like you want me to? I-I said I wanted to go home and I'm here. Why would I leave?"

"Because you're confused. You don't know what you want so... when a golden opportunity is presented to your tired, weary mind, it wants to snatch it up! It's a basic human instinct Y/n, no need to get defensive about it. Just don't hurT your brain trying to decide when we both know your decision."

Joker told himself he was gonna stop invading your space after learning you were claustrophobic. Old habits die hard.

You landed on the couch with a slight bounce before Joker boxed you in with his frame. His arms were beside your head as he leaned in almost nose to nose.

"Deep down you want to go. But you can't have your cake and eat it too. Spoiled little bunny, she can't choose between her rich, arrogant boy toy, or the scary clown she can't run away from. Save us allll the trouble, and go pack your bags Y/n."

Joker's words taunted your heart but as you opened your mouth to deny them, he gripped your chin.

"Go ahead and eat your cake. Enjoy your time with.. Gotham's savior, live it up in his mansion all you want. But know this little bunny.."

Joker's eyes were intense pools of juniper staring straight into your soul.

You couldn't look away even if you tried. His grip on your chin began to hurt but his words cut deeper.

"You'll be back and I'll be waiting."

#ledger joker x reader #ledger joker #black!fem!reader #heath ledger #joker x y/n #Smut #joker #joker smut #reader insert #yandere #Long Reads #a03 writer #Tsundere vibes #dc comic #batman #romance #angst #his lighthouse

[beeindaclouds]

This one is kinda the same idea in a way. You can pick which one or (if you can/want) you can combine them

Mcyt (Or just Punz, Foolish, Sapnap, Dream and Sam whichever you prefer) with a Reader who has family with high expectation?

Like their family expects so much from them to where it kinda gets really stressful

On a similar note:

Mcyt (or the ones mentioned) with a reader with high self doubt? Like reader feels like they aren't preforming their absolute best but they are trying so hard so it leads to mcyt comforting them

Sorry if this is alot-

I love your writing though! Don't overwork yourself and take breaks when you can!

~🦈 anon

Hallo 🦈 anon!

Ok I may be able to combine them, hope you enjoy <3

Some of the DSMP comfort a Reader w/ self-doubt and high expectations

Includes: Dream, Sapnap, Punz, Foolish, Awesamdude

Click Here before requesting, please ^^

Reader: GN - They/Them

They say that "the only failure is not trying"

But you did, over and over again, you never gave up

How come you were still not good enough?

Your parents had put these high expectations on you since the moment you were born

They hated how you just couldn't meet them

Even if you always had good grades, a great reputation and a scolarship, they still think that you could've done better

You stopped caring about what they said when you had enough money to move out and take care of yourself on your own

Obviously, you couldn't completely ignore your parents. No matter how strict and judgemental they were, they still are the ones who gave birth and grew you

That doesn't mean you were happy to hear from them tho

"Did you get a good job?" "A partner?" "You're not married yet?" "When will we get grandchildren?!?" "At your age I was-" "Your friend is already married-"

"Sometimes we're just so dissapointed in you"

That last one stung, a lot.

You had a pretty good job as a streamer, great friends who supported you through highs and lows and a person you may or may not like

But without support from your own parents and yourself, it felt like you had nothing...

❝ Dream ❞

Dream knew what you were going through since the moment he had asked you to join the SMP

You two talked a lot about everything, even personal stuff, so it didn't take long for the topic of your family to come up

He absolutely despised how badly they were treating you. They kept on putting you down no matter what you did

He hated seeing you cry and say hurtful things about yourself when it wasn't your fault that you couldn't be their "perfect little child"

Dream spent days on discord calls, in the middle of the night, while playing some random famous game at the time, just listening to you letting your poor heart out

And also complaining that he was to good at the game while you were suffering lol

You enjoyed and appreciated every second he spent with you, every advice he gave you and all the comfort he had given you since the moment he discovered what was happening

❝ Sapnap ❞

He had found out what you had been happening in the worst way

You had forgotten to mute the discord call with him while you answered your parents on speaker

All the negativity that came from them and your glossy eyes made him sick to his stomach

How could a parent say those things to their own child?

From that day on, Sapnap kept an eye on you. Asking if you were ok, making sure you ate and drank, making sure that you didn't let all the comments get to you

He kept his cool for your sake, but then they called you on the same they you met up with Sapnap irl

The same questions, same comments, same threatening tone

Sapnap had enough

He picked up the phone and gave a piece of his mind. It was like he was the parent lecturing their own child

It made you happy that someone understood how you felt and saw your achievements, no matter how big or little they were

❝ Punz ❞

Like Sapnap, he had accidentally overheard your conversation with your parents

His blood boiling at how rude they were

It was from that day that he promised himself to help you through it

You two started talking more, which let to you subconsciously search for any kind of positive acknowledgement from the man

Punz happily congratulate you for everything you achieved

Hitting 1.000 subs, managing to cook without burning anything, heck even having a successful social interaction wothout panicking haha

He had burried any negative comment you had to bare with and you were grateful to him

❝ FoolishGamers ❞

Foolish was not a person who easily got mad

It takes a lot to make him angry

But if anybody messes with someone he cares about, he sees red

He didn't care wether they were your parents, step parents, or whatever.

They had absolutely no right to push you so hard just to have this unimaginable version of yourself

To him it's like they expected to have a robot as a child

Like the kind friend, or maybe more, that he was he would always be there to support you during calls or visits from your parents

He always held you hand or hugged you if things started getting too much

And when they went out of line he would gladly step in and shut of the conversation

You couldn't love him more then you did in those moments

❝ Awesamdude ❞

He had never felt so helpless

Hearing the things they said and your cries on call just made him want to jump though the screen and give you a big hug

Sam never said anything about your parents, he always kept that subject away from you for your sanity

But whenever he received your calls out of nowhere just to be met with sobs and lies that they had brainwashed you with, made him want to completely erase them out of your life

And when you came to him, wanting to end it all with your parents, he was happy to be right there with you

Blocking them from calls and any social media they tried to rech you through

He even helped you move into his own home so he could help you get through those insecurities that were stopping you from being happy

Needless to say, you owe everything to Sam

#dreamsmp #dsmp #mcyt #dream smp x reader #dsmp x reader #mcyt x reader #dream x reader #sapnap x reader #punz x reader #foolishxreader #awesamdude x reader #beeblurbs

[stormblessed95]

Hi Stormblessed,

Dug up tumblr to ask a question on my mind. You are the most ot7 I know. So for context, I don’t think I’m ot7 well I don’t know. I like BTS as a group, I listen to their songs and watch run BTS content. I love them as a group and have even watched them in concert.

But the only person I’m really interested in as a solo artist is Jimin, I found your blog because I was curious as to what was going on with JK, but for the most part I don’t really care too much about his private life, but I am a big fan of what Jimin brings to the table.

By the way, I have given the other members songs a listen. I liked Astronaut, wildflower, rush hour and closer, those are in my daily playlist. Some of suga are nice too.

I like Jimins voice a lot , his song Promise is what gave me the push to look into BTS’ music, and is still my favorite. I love his voice, artistry and respect for my members.

Since I like Jimin and keep up with his activities, especially on his album, I get a lot of Jimin biased things on twitter. Some of them can be mean, putting down the other members, I don’t like that…but for the most part they seem to be just caring about Jimin. Those are the ones that get the most likes obv.

The issue I am having is why is there this divide between army’s and as they call it “solos”. I understood it before when the boys were a group, but now it’s every man for themselves. I can understand disliking the haters, but I hate the idea of putting a whole group in a box.

And I feel like this issue needs to be nipped because they are going to be more “solos” as they are some people who won’t care for BTS and just care for a specific member. Or like me, a specific member led to their intro to the group.

This ask is long but it bothers me as it seems hypocritical. Many persons who could like BTS are thrown off because they hear Army is a toxic fandom, and even though I wouldn’t classify me as an army, I spent a lot of time defending them on YouTube saying only some are like that, don’t generalize the group.

So to see some fans refuse to take money from a well meaning account because it is Jimin biased and not ot7 really rubs me the wrong way.

This account has $10,000 to support Jimins album and some people who are broke(like me lol) could really benefit.

I think it leads to a bigger problem. Which is that these army made “ot7” rules and regulations do not fit with the fact that there is no BTS right now. BTS is on a break. The boys are solo and will get some fans who only support them and not the rest.

And it is a difficult transition but that’s just how it is. It’s sad some of the members solo fans hate the others, don’t really see how that works, but every artist has those obsessed fans like that. Those “my artist is better than yours” people, just look at Cardi and nicki fans.

I don’t know, maybe cause I only care about Jimin in that capacity I’m biased so I’m hoping after this epistle you can help me to see a different angle.

Hi, I don't have a ton of time to really write a whole essay on this for you honestly right now. But I will say, BTS are still BTS. They are focusing on solo work, but it's not every man for themselves. They are all supporting each others solo work ALOT. Hyping each other up. Streaming and reacting to each others songs. Encouraging people to listen to each others songs. Etc. And continuing to talk all the time about how they love getting to do and showcase their individual work, but that they want that in conjunction with BTS as a whole too and they will be coming back together after military service. Solos are often haters. Some are just more blatant about it than others. But solos are usually people who view the other members as direct competition against whoever their favorite member is. And will often think badly (aka be a hater) towards the other members. I touch on that in this post here. Briefly

The other thing is that while I can understand the sentiment, and the desire to have everyone just take the money to support Jimin no matter what. It's not always that easy. The exchange of money comes with the exchange of personal and private information, that of given to an untrustworthy person, can end badly. @beautifulpersonpeach actually did a post breaking down this in way more detail with way more examples and explanations and rather than trying to figure it all out myself in ways i could explain well here too, I'm just going to send you to her post

I'm not saying all this drama is deserved with the funds account I think you are referencing in your ask or that people shouldn't use funds from them. I don't know the account or their history or anything else to really give an opinion one way or the other. I just know I'm here for BTS. I'm here for Jimin. I'm ready to support him as much as I can. So as for using funds from any funds donation account, that should be a personal decision one makes for themselves. No one should influence that decision for you since it's your own money and information you are dealing with there.

And I also know that @chikooritajjk has set up a really nice FACE masterlist with links and information set up to help inform about funds, purchasing, goals, streaming, charting, etc. It's all well done and I'll link that post here as well because they did an amazing job and put it all together way better than i could and everyone should see it if they are wanting to promote and support Jimin in the best ways for it to count numbers wise. And they have a donation guide post coming soon

^ hopefully both those links work. Both tagged accounts are great accounts and resources too. They are both so knowledgeable and kind and know a lot and are OT7 with various bias lines and just love BTS and love music.

I apologize again for my absence (which will continue over the next few days, I'll try to be here when I can) lately. I'm on vacation and enjoying time with my family. The down time I have is usually just going straight to catching up on whatever Jimin has dropped that day or the other members have surprised us with. Lol

#fandom culture #i have wonderful moots #so im just sending you their way #because they know more than me

[nightlovers-stuff]

Hello!

Can you do headcanons of the S+M+T+Kino teaching their S/o to dance for a ball

Hello darling, I absolutely love your idea!

This was so much fun to write and I spent the whole day doing it. Maybe I got a little obsessed lol

Thanks for your ask. I hope you enjoy it! ૮ • ﻌ - ა

Dance classes with diaboys

Sakamakis

Shu

Shu never wanted to do this; it wasn't his idea in the first place. Reiji and his father pretty much coerced him into doing this. As the eldest brother and the heir, it's Shu's responsibility to organize the ball.

Since Shu is the next king, his partner will attend lots of royal balls. So, they must learn how to dance.

Reiji convinced him to teach his lover how to dance and act for balls, or else he would do it himself. Of course, Shu wouldn't let Reiji step close to his beloved person, so now he's teaching them how to dance.

Shu is a skilled teacher. In the manga, he teaches English to Yui and even tries to teach her how to play the violin (which doesn't work, lol). He's the type of teacher that makes everything seem easier than it is. He knows that pressuring someone to learn/do something isn't the best way to teach.

Learning with Shu is all about going with the flow; he'll guide you the whole time. However, he'll demand your attention and effort, since he's sacrificing his precious Bach listening time to teach you how to dance.

He'll complain about how this is a pain, but as the days go by, he starts to enjoy dancing with his lover and even looks forward to it.

By the end of the month, they'll be dancing perfectly in sync with each other, much to Reiji's initial surprise and delight, given that he thought them to be a bunch of incompetent good-for-nothings.

These things also bring Shu flashbacks to Edgar, and how happy he always seemed when he went on with one of the family's annual balls. Edgar was always so excited about the ball, and he would light up the room with his smile.

Reiji

Reiji is a perfectionist by nature, but when he received news of the incoming ball, he went wild. He was almost like a dictator, ordering everyone around. But with his lover, he was even more strict.

Reiji is already accustomed to taking on the role of teacher in his relationships, correcting his lovers' flaws and demanding impeccable behavior on a daily basis. So, when it comes to royal balls and being a perfect lady, he expects nothing less than your best behavior if you want to walk beside him.

He considered hiring a professional dance teacher with experience teaching members of royalty, so his significant other would learn how to dance properly. But Reiji's arrogant ass thought he would be the best in this situation.

Reiji created an entire, comprehensive schedule for his lover, which includes all kinds of classes you can imagine, from dance to etiquette. This schedule is designed to help you learn how to behave and act properly at a ball. He wouldn't let anyone bring Sakamakis' name or reputation to mud.

He's very methodical and patient, but he often threatens his lover with punishments if they don't comply with his expectations. He'll point out every single flaw on his partner - posture, expression, steps, everything - until they're completely compliant.

The best part of learning how to dance with Reiji is that the final results are always stunning. The process is long and difficult, full of intense practices and criticism, but the results are always worth it in the end.

After many corrective punishments and long weeks of hard work, his partner will be polished and well-trained like a diamond, and he will even praise them for their hard work and dedication ( that's rare)

Ayato

Now, this one is really chaotic and funny. Ayato does know how to dance and does it well, that's canon. But he doesn't know how to teach someone and doesn't have the patience to do it. He's the type of guy to say " just follow me." But when his lover steps on his feet, he gets angry.

Reiji was determined to make Ayato go to the ball, even though Ayato hates everything about them. He grudgingly agreed, knowing that if he didn't, Karlheinz would likely banish him to the North Pole or outer space. So, Ayato set out to teach his partner how to dance.

At first, it was really chaotic, and he spent more time asking for blood than teaching them. But then Ayato realized that it's not his lover's fault for not knowing something like royal balls. Then he goes to Reiji, indirectly asking for help.

Reiji provides him with some tips and tricks on how to improve his posture and other stuff, but ends up criticizing him, anyway. Then Ayato tries to be more patient with his lover, which surprisingly works out for the better.

(I really think that there would be a lot of sexual tension between his partner and him, just because when Ayato is more focused, he looks really hot BWHASHSKH)

Ayato is one of those fun, engaging teachers that makes learning enjoyable. You'll have so much fun dancing that you won't even realize how much you're learning. But it only happens when he's really committed to doing it.

He's going to constantly provoke and tease his lover about how bad they are at dancing, no matter how many times they insist that they're getting better.

I feel as if dancing with Ayato has the same energy and awkwardness as teenage prom dances in movies. That weird tension and excitement between the characters.

Ayato and his lover gradually become more in sync with each other as they spend more time together.

By the end of the month, his s/o will be dancing pretty good with him, and Ayato gets all cocky saying that "Ore-sama is the best teacher; even the clumsy chichinashi learned how to dance with me!"

Also, he'll demand a lot of blood from his partner.

Kanato

CHAOS, CHAOS, CHAOS!!!!

Kanato is an incredibly impatient person who would be the absolute worst person to ask to teach someone how to dance. He would get frustrated easily and would likely give up on the person within minutes. If they step on his foot, they'll be dead before they hit the ground.

I would love to be able to tell you that he would be an amazing person to spend time with and that you would have an incredible time. But I would be lying. His tantrums and screams make it hard to believe.

Unless his partner already knew a little about dancing or at least was cautious, I don't think he'd put up with teaching them. He's not a very patient teacher and gets frustrated easily.

But once they learn how to dance without stepping on his feet, it's going to be really nice

They'll have tea parties after every dance class

Laito

Oh lord... his partner must be really patient to deal with Laito. Not because he's short-tempered or anything like that; if anything, he's very patient, but he's going to turn dance classes into some kinky shit. Laito is always trying to find new and innovative ways to bring sex into every aspect of their relationship, and the dance classes are just his latest scheme.

Laito is an excellent teacher, and I honestly believe that. However, he will take advantage of this situation to say some dirty things, or to roam his hands all over his lover's body.

The best part about Laito is that he's an excellent dancer and teacher. He's able to guide his partner with ease and patience. And he won't get too mad if they make a mistake or step on his feet.

"Bitch-chan, please be more cautious and don't step on my feet again or else I'll have to punish you fufufu~"

Subaru

This boy is the sweetest. He'll say he's not good at dancing, but he's just being modest. He's actually an amazing dancer and will leave you mesmerized when he moves.

Dancing with him is like a dream come true. His hands are so strong and gentle, and his body moves with his partner's perfectly

He won't be mad if his lover makes mistakes because he understands that old-fashioned things like balls are no longer as relevant or popular as they once were. He himself doesn't particularly enjoy balls or events like that.

Subaru is always extra careful and gentle while teaching his lover, making sure he doesn't hurt them or make them feel uncomfortable in any way.

It's so cute and funny- the entire atmosphere. He's blushing an adorable, deep red and can barely look into his partner's eyes. I can tell he's really embarrassed, but he's also really into it and enjoying himself. They keep making eye contact and sharing these adorable little smiles. He's definitely into his partner and enjoying the experience, despite being a little embarrassed.

Dancing with Subaru also has this classic teenage movie vibe, where the characters are incredibly awkward but endearing, and you can't help but root for them as they dance romantically in the moonlight. It's one of those feel-good movies that you'll want to watch again and again.

Kino

Kino is quite nonchalant about the whole situation, only caring about whether he's having fun. He finds it problematic having to teach his lover how to dance, but he sees it as more of a game than anything else.

Kino learned how to dance traditional ballroom dances, so he'll try to do the same leading and following steps he learned with Yuri when he dances with his significant other.

While guiding his partner through the dance steps, he keeps mumbling the counts aloud under his breath, "1,2,3…1,2,3."

Once his partner finally manages to follow in his footsteps and gets into a similar rhythm, he starts to pick up the pace. But this approach doesn't work, and both of them end up stumbling and falling to the ground.

They decided to call it a day and come back tomorrow with a fresh start; however, the next day, Kino woke up with a throbbing headache from where he hit his head. Kino's humor might not be the best, but he doesn't give up on a challenge.

After disastrous weeks of dancing to half-finished songs, they finally danced a whole song from start to finish without any major missteps.

Mukami

Ruki

(THIS IS MY DREAM GEEZ)

Ruki knew that his significant other didn't have any experience with dancing, so as a good and considerate master, he decided to teach her. Learning with Ruki is very straightforward, maybe because he spent his whole life teaching things to his younger brothers.

He's one of those highly sought after, experienced teachers who has the unique ability to go with the flow, guide you naturally and effortlessly through the material, making it easy to understand and remember.

He might use the carrot-and-stick method to teach his lover, but he'd be softer on punishments and more lenient with rewards.

He would definitely be softer and more gently to his partner after having an established relationship with them, as he canonically treats Yui better after they are together.

Even though sometimes Ruki looks for reasons to punish his lover, while teaching them how to dance, is not one of them. Since there is a royal ball coming up and Karlheinz will be there, Ruki wants to make sure their dancing is perfect.

Ruki is an extremely effective teacher because of his straightforward and easy-to-understand teaching style. He gives clear instructions and provides immediate feedback to correct any issues while his partner is dancing. This makes learning very easy and enjoyable for his lover.

In the Lunatic parade, he flawlessly guides Yui while they're dancing. She doesn't have any experience with dancing, but it becomes abundantly clear how quickly and easily you can learn with Ruki.

Dancing with Ruki can be a bit of a challenge for his partners, as they often find themselves getting lost in his cold blue eyes. He's not one to scold them for it, but he does make sure to keep them focused on their steps.

( It's hard to take him seriously when he's got that smirk on his face and he's talking in that teasing tone.)

His significant other will be dancing with the utmost grace and precision in a mere matter of weeks.

"Oi, livestock! I know you want to admire your master, but that's not the time for it! Pay attention to your steps!"

Kou

Ok, Kou is an idol, but he is terrible at teaching because he can't handle when his lover makes the same mistakes over and over again.

He'll probably end up sucking their blood, since that's what vampires do in a give-and-take world.

At first, Kou had wanted to give up and hire a professional to do it instead, but Ruki wouldn't let him. However, since it was his lover that they were talking about, he decided to train his partner up like a trainee.

Most people wouldn't expect that work could be fun, but in a couple of weeks, they were having a blast. Learning with Kou isn't hard, only because dancing is his job and he's very good at it. He breaks down the steps simply and easily, so that even those with two left feet can understand and follow along

"Woah, you're getting better at this M-neko chan~"

Yuma

THIS BOI, OUR PRECIOUS GARDEN BOI, he can't dance.

No matter how much you try to convince me, I simply refuse to believe that Yuma has any sense of rhythm or gracefulness when he dances. If he does dance, it looks incredibly awkward and clumsy.

So with Yuma, it's a slightly different dynamic than it is with other boys. He won't teach his lover; rather, he wants to learn with them.

Probably Ruki's going to teach them how to dance properly, but the good part is that Yuma is a fast learner. He'll be able to quickly adapt and learn the steps, so he won't be embarrassed at the ball.

Yuma's main problem when it comes to dancing isn't the steps - it's that he's pretty tall, which can make him look clumsy when dancing with someone shorter.

But he's a hard-working man and with a couple of dance classes by the end of the month, he'll look like a whole new man.

Once Yuma and his lover have learned how to be in perfect harmony with each other, he will effortlessly guide them through the dance. Dancing with Yuma has Beauty and the Beast vibes.

Azusa

This sweet, talented boy dances so well - with such elegance and precision - that you can't change my mind. Azusa looks like a prince when he dances, full of graciousness and charm.

He's an absolute sweetheart and will be more than happy to teach his partner how to dance. They'll learn quicker than you could have imagined.

And guess what? He doesn't mind if his partner steps on his feet; if anything, he's going to love it. BWHAHAHA

Azusa won't try to hurry his partner along or force them to learn at a pace they're not comfortable with; he's content to follow their lead.

He will be as gentle and loving as possible, and if you look closely, you'll see his bright smile while he stares adoringly into his lover's face.

He'll get so used to dancing intimately with his lover, that he'll want to slow dance together every night in their living room.

Tsukinami

Carla

OOF-

THIS MAN. DANCING WITH THIS MAN IS SO SJJHDDHDH (simp time)

This happens on dark fate, I guess, and I'm sure that Carla warns Yui that if she steps on his feet, he'll have to punish her. I have no idea if he's bluffing or not. This man is a mystery sometimes.

If he's the one teaching them how to dance, just like Ruki or Reiji, his lover won't have to worry so much (I mean... only about the punishments), because you'll be able to dance with precision and skill.

Carla is a king, so it is obvious that he knows how to dance with the utmost grace, elegance, and poise.

He is an experienced man who has been dancing for most of his life. He knows all the steps and moves, and he could easily guide someone around the dance floor.

Carla will have an amazing time waltzing with his lover in the stunning ballroom of his castle.

Carla will give them tips and will chat with his lover. For him, teaching his partner is such a quality time. He loves being able to teach them new things and help them grow as a person.

He won't tolerate slacking off from his partner, as the king of founder's partner, they must be perfect and be able to walk by his side.

Shin

It was Carla who told Shin to teach his partner how to dance, and since his brother asked, he couldn't deny.

Shin is a good dancer. He doesn't really like balls, but he has learned how to behave properly at them.

Just like Ayato, he'll tell his partner to follow him. Shin doesn't really make much of an effort to properly teach his lover, but he doesn't give up easily either.

It was weeks of chaotic fun until his significant other finally learned to swing along gracefully in the ballroom without stepping on his feet or stumbling around.

When this long-awaited day finally arrived, Shin was overcome with happiness and relief. Knowing that his brother wouldn't complain and he would be able to have fun while dancing with his lover in his arms all night.

Masterlist

Ask box is open!

#diabolik lovers #diaboys #diahell #dialovers #mukami brothers #sakamaki brothers #shu sakamaki #reiji sakamaki #sakamaki reiji #sakamaki shu #mukami family #mukami yuma #mukami azusa #mukami kou #kou mukami #ruki mukami #sakamaki subaru #sakamaki ayato #kanato sakamaki #sakamaki laito #carla tsukinami #tsukinami carla #tsukinami shin #tsukinami brothers