#d) the reason they get so much more than their goal is bc a lot of fucking people use the fucking website you idiots

[ranboo5]

Anyway [stretches] under a cut because it got Long as usual; tl;dr at the bottom

The thing abt c!Ranboo is his motivation and his actions don’t always align and that is bc of the eternal nature of c!Ranboo as living in a society and Balancing Priorities. He is always self-compromising in its relationships w/ others; more often than not when it agrees to do smth with someone it is doing it not bc it believes in the cause but because it has priorities it needs to mitigate. (Ranboo has not believed in any of the causes put forth by Someone Else in their life the closest they get is the Syndicate and even there it’s only reassured to bc it is reassured it can share opinions)

This starts off wayyyy early with it agreeing to help grief despite not really having a personal reason to do it, and with it collaborating w/ New L’Manberg even through things like the Butcher Army. It consistently does not want to be seen as In Opposition. It works with Tmmy and Techno in large part bc it doesn’t want to come off as opposed 2 them, and bc it has personal investment (+guilt) in Tmmy. Ranboo will literally act like this

- as self preservation - out of a desire to help+spare the feelings of ppl it doesn’t trust to negotiate with - especially later, so it can try to mitigate the parties it’s collaborating w/ -- if he’s involved in the effort, he has more traction 2 attempt to mitigate anything terrible it might do (even when most of the time he doesn’t manage to do this)

This is part of why he initially joined th Syndicate and this is why he worked with Wilbur over th course of the burger arc. Some combination of this is also why he works w/ Dream, smth that is frequently overlooked in Ranboo Analysis; Ranboo volitionally[1] collaborates w/ Dream despite, obviously, having a lot of Active Dislike for Dream and what he is doing, out of a combination of a) he would not want 2 frame himself as Opposed To Dream in any interaction w/ Dream, b) he is generally sympathetic and pitying, c) ideological agreement w/ some aspects of Dream’s goals, and d) desire to mitigate/stay close to Dream. Ranboo keeps his friends close and enemies closer 2 some degree

His relationship w/ Tbbo is not an exception to this it is part of the pattern. It’s just one that has much more present, personal, and consistent stakes. Ranboo complies w/ Tbbo the same way he complies w/ the Syndicate when he’s worried they’re threatening, the same way he complies w/ NLM, the same way he complies w/ Wilbur in the burger arc, th same way he complies with Tmmy early on, the same way he complies w/ Dream offscreen. This is a Known Tactic Ranboo pursues; their project is ultimately of survival and compassion and survival and compassion are both things they have to sacrifice to keep

Tbbo is a unique priority to Ranboo almost in the same way all of the aforementioned r slightly different, unique priorities; in Tubbo’s case, Ranboo is extremely invested in keeping Tbbo safe from others and from Tbbo’s own self with a particular fervor for a very long time. I’m not rehashing the entire beeduo meta here but Ranboo does have particular interest and a particular prioritization for Tbbo for a long ass time; arguably post-NLM and thru burger arc, Tbbo is its first priority bc Ranboo loves him and has convinced itself it’s the only one who can fix him and has also mostly-correctly observed that no one has really been looking out for him. Tubbo is an urgent target in Ranboo’s projects of compassion and of survival both

When those stakes r released, tho, in the burger van conversation (the “you weren’t happy before?”) Ranboo no longer has Tbbo at the same priority level irt the project of survival especially, and, despite how guilty and upset it makes them, prioritizes their 5D chess game with Wilbur instead (ironically sacrificing a solid chunk of its project of survival). Its motives @ the end of Ho16 r commonly cited as being abt Tbbo but that’s not entirely what he says and if it was Ranboo HAS the kind of analytical presence of mind to know that it Killing Himself doesn’t help Tbbo as much as it deals with Wilbur

Ho16 is abt Ranboo winning aforesaid 5D chess game; Tbbo is only part of the stakes 4 that and Mitigating Tbbo is no longer Ranboo’s top priority w/ that. Ranboo’s final monologue is more than anything reminiscent of his earlier arguments about sides and collateral. It’s part of the larger project of compassion, and it’s about the distorted version thereof tht comes with Ranboo getting stuck in its head and its machinations, too; like Tbbo is important to Ranboo and the carelessness abt Tbbo is something unacceptable but to claim Ranboo’s motivations revolve around Tubbo specifically is reductive of his other relationships and actual larger ideological motivations 

I have a problem w/ framings of this as positive/romantic devotion that amkes Ranboo better or as devotion at all bc repeatedly it is shown it makes him Worse, and is in fact the opposite of devotion it's disingenuous by nature. Ranboo is lying. This is so essential to all of this when Ranboo acts like he is in step with you specifically he is lying you are never guaranteed to be the priority. This is him at his worst, th project of compassion at its most compromised, and it’s a state that they explicitly don’t like. Ranboo does not like compromising itself and when they do that they Get Hurt (NLM and outpost arc having the most confabulation we’ve seen in Ranboo in general, Ranboo hating himself for this, Ranboo complying w/ shit like the experiments, Ranboo in all these environments where he is playing this being Constantly Markedly Afraid)

Even throughout the time period where Tbbo is technically priority #1 Tbbo is still . Priority Number One as opposed to like a genuine devotion. Tbbo having a handle on Ranboo in this way is not devotion it is fear and it is again not a mechanism tht Ranboo Only engages for Tbbo it’s just a mechanism, that again IS BAD FOR RANBOO BOTH IRT MENTAL HEALTH AND MORALITY, that has thru circumstance become one tht Tbbo is best at unintentionally activating. Ranboo Does This When You Are His Project. And When He Had A New Project Aside From His Husband That’s What He Did To Him

TL;DR

Ranboo does comply with Tubbo in various activities tht he doesn’t believe in but this isn’t ? Unique to Tbbo this is just Ranboo’s general socialmeta+ what allows it to move in the world the way it does

Ranboo cares about Tubbo deeply and this is relevant to his motivations but that’s only one part of his larger motivations

It’s also honestly not great to frame this complianceas romantic or good bc it’s actively smth that Makes Them Worse in multiple senses

It takes out a ton of Ranboo’s decision making and the negative effects thereof

Anyway stream

[1] No, one dumb as fuck line from Dream Of All People in that lame ass excuse for a finale does not negate All The Things In CRanboo’s Story including working w Dream being part of this consistent pattern, Ranboo’s story being abt agency responsibility and decision in such a way tht it is completely undercut by mind ctrl plots, Ranboo’s ideological agreement w Dream on some matters, the alliumduo parallels, and everything we do know abt the enderwalk as a concept and Ranboo how he acts in and out of it

#OKAY HANG ON I wanna edit this again. Read the first draft if u want but I wanna do a once over I decided immediately after posting #I didn't like the tone #NEVER MIND UPDATE 2/19 IAT NIGT EDITED IT AGAIN #OK EDITED ENOUGH anyway #pretend the crosslink to the beeduo meta is red like in an essie pea article. #Anyway yes this is themeta that I tried to edit to not be too much of a direct vague . But thank u to OP in spirit anyway bc I would not #have had the soup 2 write this if I didn't see the post #But yeag. Frankly I think it's disrespectful 2 c!Ranboo's arc 2 claim it revolves around c!Tubbo or that it should #It's heavily affected by Tbbo bc Ranboo Cares Him Saur Much for much of the arc #but to claim tht Ranboo's socialmeta in general is smth that is just for Tbbo and to frame it as like Ranboo doesn't actually believe in his #ideological beliefs they just love one guy #is reductive and very like . Your One True Love Is The Most Important Thing #it fucks w/ their political agency a Lot I think. #people not sides gets discredited so fucking much #Like the personal is political u can't understand cRanb w/o understanding that #I like how I'm not actually tagging thsi I'm just ranting in the tags and not censoring tag names

[kusanalogy]

Teyvat idols !

Characters: Ayaka, Venti, Chongyun and xinyan Band!au, Modern!au. some character x gn!reader, but its mostly focused about them as a band

Author's note: was inspired by this picture below and a result of playing too much bang dream/bandori.. also i rewrote this bc the original one was "being their manager" but i think i'd get more ideas if i changed it to s/o, sooo now we're here :D I might make a pt.2 but im sure it'll be shorter than this

summary: Your s/o whom you knew for the longest time becomes an idol for a band, How would they act?

Ayaka/Vo.

She's also known as "The Kamisato Princess" due to her angelic look :0 The young girl needs lots of encouragement before setting on stage, venti usually helps her with boosting up the confidence last-minute. Her big brother, the infamous ayato also watches her perform, Giving her more the reasons to push thru and make beautiful music.

As for you, She'd be so happy if you watch her !! Its all the assurance she needs. If you're the loud type and you always cheer her on, she gets kinda embarrased but in reality she doesnt mind it that much. After all she does have all sorts of fans. Though she'd prefer to hear your praises after a concert in private, she feels much more comfortable that way.

Speaking of fans, at first she had so much trouble communicating with them, Making her occasionally stutter :( Once you see her look uncomfy while talking to fans, you try to push her away steadily, without making a scene and go in a corner, attempting to soothe her

She actually slowly improves communicating at public events, meetings, etc. because of you <3 let the girl take her time with this, And spend time with her equally. Even after all of what the both of you do, she'll thank you for being by her side. As long as it stays like that, rest assured she'll be happy.

Venti/Ba.

Okay pretend he isnt a god in this au hes just some random guy

He loves posting on social media, Lots of the content on his account are song covers, pictures you took of him or memes (which is what his supporters love about his account). He interacts with his fans in the comments each time, But ofc there are always haters. He seems like the type to fight back but in reality he just deletes the comment and ignores the account, not wanting a bad image.

He also wrote some of the songs that the band created !! the rest are from different multiple sources

Awards the band members with a glass of wine/juice/drink of choice and some snacks the day after going on a concert. Sometimes brings you with him! He believes it'll give them some motivation to move forward, Which does work most of the time, ...unless he gets drunk and starts scaring them with objects they would not appreciate

One time it was raining outside while they were having an after party at the kamisato estate so while drunk, this mf ran outside and got a FROG into the house and claimed it as his pet. Thoma had lots of trouble trying to find it after venti lost the frog a while after.

"And as the *hic* MoNdstadt saying g-goes... wait.. where did the frog go????"

[insert sound of xinyan screaming afterwards]

Xinyan/Gt.

She's an amazing role model !!

She makes it a goal to like or reply all the comments, even the ones that are just "Great!!" or "amazing", she'd reply with a "thank you 🤍" or simply liking it

Like venti, she makes stuff for the band that she doesnt really need to do by herself, but she does it anyway because she adores what she does, the girl picks out outfits for the band i just know she has amazing taste in clothing. She also draws lots of ideas for merch, her designs always impress the other band members and you

She usually asks for your opinion before going on with making merch, creating tunes or just anything that she wants to improve later on. Xinyan trusts you so much with it, even if you dont know much about what she does.

Has so many ideas for her job, She can barely keep track of what she should try to push thru first. Its not like she doesnt enjoy it tho, hell, she loves it‼ Promotes the band's music everywhere, she likes to share it so more people can understand the art of music :))) shes really passionate about it

"Y/n!! Have you shared my solo to your other friend groups yet? I promise its good! I put lots of thought into it 😋"

Chongyun/Dr.

Like ayaka, hes pretty shy on stage too. He's also kinda a perfectionist? When its time to finish rehearsals he still practices at home, thinking it wasnt good enough. If you catch him getting to focused, pls remind him to take a break! He often forgets to take one

Gets stressed pretty easily, he randomly doodles or eats cold food to relax himself. Loves going outside <3 even better if you accompany him, sometimes just going out for a walk gives him enough inspiration.

Super supportive to the rest of the band members ⊹.(⁎˃ᴗ˂⁎). ⊹ He shows it with words tbh, he says its much easier like that. Likes the idea of working together, He believes it'll solve problems much faster and produce more ideas, making the future of the band brighter. He aims for that desire, seeking to make people proud.

He has lots of pets !! He posts lots of pics of them on social media. Speaking of social media, He tries to keep your relationship a secret. Not that he doesnt trust you or anything, he just doesnt like the fact that you might get hated or something. He's aware that he probably wouldnt stand it if his s/o got hate :(

#genshin #why did tumblr make the pic blurry 💀 #ayaka x reader #kamisato ayaka x reader #venti x reader #xinyan x reader #chongyun x reader #ayaka x you #venti x you #xinyan x you #chongyun x you #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin x you #genshin headcanons #genshin au #genshin hcs #after typing genshin too much it looks misspelled now lol #genshin impact au #genshin alternative universe #im gonna eat dinner now haha #🍀▪︎genshin writings

[kingdaddydaichi]

For the Ask Game; can you do Katsuki, for

SFW; B and I

And NSFW; D

Please and thank you? :)

Female reader please :) 🖤🧡🖤

Anything for you, my dear. I’m sorry this took so long! I was stuck on the NSFW D for some reason? Please accept this as my contribution to your healing? 🤲🏼

(sfw) Beauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Physical beauty is nice and all, but Katsuki looks for substance in a lover. He respects your inner strength and determination to smash your goals. I think he’s somewhat of a sapioromantic, if that’s even a word lol? Like you don’t have to be a genius but I think he would get easily bored with someone who can’t hold an intelligent conversation with him. He probs won’t admit it, but he also admires your compassionate, empathic nature. Every once in a while he might grumble something about how much better you are at nurturing and kindness than he is. But he always sees it as a strength as long as you’re not a doormat.

(sfw) Inspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helping them overcome personal problems?

Both. It makes sense that he would help you become more confident in your abilities and talents. He doesn’t tolerate negative self talk so don’t even go there. Say you’re moping around talking about how your art isn’t as good as other artists', now here he comes. “Oi! The fuck did you just say? Talk shit about my girl like that again and I’ll kick your ass!” “But Katsu, I AM your girl?” “I don’t give a shit who you are! Like hell I’m gonna let anyone talk shit about you, not even you! Your art is fucking beautiful, dumbass! God!” Then he’ll stomp out of the room and probably slam the nearest door. Just for effect. 😅 On the other hand, I think you’ve taught him how to process and express his feelings in a healthy way. He gets a lot better about it, but there are times it’s still gonna look like anger. Oh AND! It confused him at first that you use humor to help cope with shit sometimes? Like he’d be looking for a fight and you’d just completely disarm him with something funny. And he just 🧍🏼‍♂️like wtf? And you laughed and he just “tch!” and turned his back to you bc he didn’t wanna give you the satisfaction of seeing him smile.

nsfw beyond this point...minors/ageless blogs dni...

(⚠️nsfw) D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Idk why it was so hard to think of something for this one? At first it seemed like it would be really easy. His bad boy persona is very convincing, but it’s just a front. The more I think about it, it makes sense that Katsuki wouldn’t have many (if any) dirty secrets. Like, in the manga, when his little crew of juvenile delinquents in middle school were smoking a cigarette. Then Katsuki walked up and yelled at them saying if they got caught it would go on his record. But I digress…

I think Katsuki’s dirty little secret would be something sweet. Because gods forbid anyone knew that he did something adorable and romantic, right? So maybe the first time he told you he loves you was during a particularly intense orgasm. Poor mans just came so damn hard that he lost control and whimpered “I fucking love you!” And his voice cracked too. And he just froze and looked at you, his scarlet eyes as big as you’d ever seen them hoping beyond all hope that maybe - just maybe - you didn’t hear him even though he was being loud (bc he always is). But you did. And you threw your hands over your mouth to stifle your laugh (at his facial expression bc he looked more terrified than he ever had in his life 😂). And he huffed and puffed and grumbled something like “just forget it”. And you were all “Katsu, you just told me you love meeee! I’m never gonna forget that! It was so sweet!” “Exactly, which is why you are to never speak of this!” “Wait, the love confession, the whimper, or the voice crack?” “NONE OF IT! EVER!” His usual snarl was back. “S’fuckin embarrassing,” he mumbled with a dramatic pout. “But baby, it was so cute!” He pulled out and rolled over, growling. “Shut the fuck up, you asshole! Tch!” He got out of bed and stomped off into the bathroom and slammed the door (expect a lot of stomping and door slamming with him around). Worth it, you thought with tears of joy and laughter in your eyes.

#ask kel #ask game #precious moots #xviternity 🎨 #katsuki #bakugou #bakugo #katsuki bakugou #katsuki bakugo

[hikari-ni-naritai]

multiples of 6 and every second letter for Hikari c:

oh fuck hikari time!!

6. Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?

does hikari even know what a law is? probably. she definitely sees them as flexible though. she wasnt raised in a culture that had Law so much as it had What Mom Says.

12. How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?

is there such an itch? i think hikari's flexible enough that she can reach every place. the real question is, does hikari experience itch? i dont know the answer to that one.

18. What embarrasses them?

can this woman be embarrassed?? oh no actually definitely she can. any insinuation to a stranger that she's anything less than a perfect hero would be deeply embarrassing. she cant let that act drop for even a second. though she's feeling a little less trapped these days, now that she's working to find a light within herself.

24. Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom?

absolutely not! she does know what sex is but she'll play dumb until you stop asking her. it makes her deeply uncomfortable.

30. Who do they most regret meeting?

ASAHI SAS BRUTUS THAT RAT FUCKING BASTARD

36. Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap?

she's completely aromantic so neither!

42. How badly do they want to reach their end goal?

its the only thing on her mind. she would give everything for it. she doesn't have anything else.

B. What inspired you to create them?

in the ff14 character creator like 'whats the cutest girl i can possibly make?' and hikari came out. then her lore sort of evolved over time based on how i played the game.

D. Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?

she's changed her hairstyle a few times, and her fashion sense has gotten less femme, but the only real physical change is she gained a big scar across her face after the events of Endwalker. you wouldn't be able to tell though, since her hair covers it so well.

F. What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?

mmmm pity? like 'oh honey... dont do this to yourself....' but at the same time i want her to succeed and heal and get better and see in herself all the reasons i love her.

H. What trait do you admire most?

i think her determination? she's far more dedicated to self-improvement than i am. even if its like really unhealthy for her to be like that. i would like to be better about it. that, and her ability to remember names.

J. Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?

mmm she is MOSTLY canon compliant? there's some implications in the beginning of ARR that she was one of the original warriors of light from 1.0, but i threw that out. and i think a lot of stormblood was Heavily Edited bc like, she's been to yanxia and the steppe before, both as a normal miqote and as a garlean conscript, but its not like she'd admit to any of these things so its mostly that the story Glossed Over her inner monologue of 'oh fuck i hope nobody recognizes me'

#hikariposting #thank you for asking!

[frogs-in3-hills]

dgs case 2 thoughts babeyyy. oops it's long this time

sooo no trial this case!! very interesting!! personally it felt like things got a little boring quite often, maybe because there were so few areas to explore? and i think the pacing was, much like the first case, a little sluggish at times. however i still think it felt wayy better than the aai games, which also had no trials. i would love to have seen a version of aai more like this case, with "argument" portions removed and the logic system more similar to the dance of deduction. overall i am really glad they let the story do what it needed to do instead of trying to squeeze a trial in there, it would have felt really forced considering the setting

i am sooooo obsessed with the dance of deduction by the way,, i think out of all the unique investigative functions throughout the series (magatama, perceive, mood matrix, etc) this might be my favorite. the conceit of it is so creative with ryuunosuke having to course correct using his observation skills, and it actually makes me appreciate sholmes' presence a lot more since it offers a lovely bit of insight into his character: you can kind of see where he's going with everything, but it's his vivid imagination, not stupidity, that leads him to get details wrong-- and those details cause his deductions to spiral out of control and miss the mark. he's so creative, but he doesn't even stop to think that the world might not operate with that same level of creativity. i just think that is so charming wtf. and while it does seem a little too easy i imagine it will get more difficult later, and mechanically i think the visuals really spice things up and i love seeing them take full advantage of the 3d models. i think its a really excellently designed system

speaking of taking advantage of 3d models can i just say i love how the settings are built and how the characters take up that space??? because i looovve the way it creates a more dynamic space and feels more like the characters exist in their environment, while still keeping true to the visual novel style. all that is to say i'm so impressed by the actual game design here and i'm really excited to continue playing through it

anyways i guess i should like. talk about the plot. i guess. hi this case was like super fucked up, but like, in a very unique way?? genuinely, the conclusion to this case felt more like a danganronpa trial than it did an ace attorney case. and the fact that this random 15 yo kid accidentally killed this guy for NO reason?? that's heartbreaking dude, it makes me wonder a lot about what asougi's true goal was and how it relates to the concept of revenge and closure. bc what dgs is telling us with this case is that the truth isn't necessarily all that rewarding, right? knowing who killed asougi doesn't make me or ryuunosuke or susato feel better, and knowing he wasn't planning to reveal pavlova's identity makes her feel worse. even before that, learning that he literally just broke his neck due to an unlucky fall only invites this keen sense of unfairness. there's no closure or revenge or schadenfreude, just a little girl who made a really horrible, but ultimately sympathetic mistake.

i said last post that i felt asougi might be one of those seeking revenge types, or something like that, what with his connection to family honor as well as his obvious ambition. so i can't help but wonder if, when we finally figure out what it was that asougi needed to do in london, ryuunosuke has to face a choice: is he really going to continue his friend's legacy? after all, he's the one holding the sword now, which isn't just symbolic of a man's soul or his honor or whatever, it's a weapon. why did asougi really want to bring something like that so badly?

anyways aaaaaug susato. shes great i love her. no crazy thoughts abt her yet but i love her

anyways i think thats about all i wanted to say there, i liked this case a lot and i'm really excited to keep playing ^_^ semester doesn't start back up for a few more weeks so i'll probably have plenty of time to do so

#dgs liveblogging #sully is typing #dgs spoilers #tgaa spoilers #dgs #aa

[tobias-fell]

17 and 25 for book asks <3

Did any books surprise you with how good they were?

here lies daniel tate for sure!!! i expected a solid enough mystery but the whole book was just WOAH

also The Martian :D i had a lot of fun and a lot of stress with that one

What reading goals do you have for next year?

read some horror! even just like. 5 of them. im really starting to like audio horror so i want to try it in novel form

read 5 books by disabled authors about disabled characters. this is for my own sake to see ppl like me (even when they have a different disability. the Feelings are relatable), and the number is depressingly low bc these are Hard To Find in the genres i like most (fantasy + thriller)

read 25 books by authors of colour. thats a significantly higher number than the disabled one but thats bc this year i was like "i want to read more non-white perspectives" and then. didn't. 8 out of the 48 i've read were, and i'm the first to say that percentage is quite bad. obviously im not just going to pick up totally random books for weirdly tokenizing "this author is a POC" reasons, but like . i've gotten plenty of recs from others & put together a list of books i am genuinely very interested in + are by authors of colour so i really have no reason not to do this

read 50 books total! same as this year. it's much more achievable for me in the place i am now than, like, 120 or 100 or 90 used to be

read at least one of R.F. Kuang's books. i have the poppy war, and babel looks super interesting so i might pick it up. in general, her work looks cool & i want to get around to it

FINALLY READ PROJECT HAIL MARY. I HAVE GOT TO DO THAT

read at least 3 discworld books!! (i own 4)

become a sequel person at least a little bit. i have so many unread sequels

... that is more goals than i thought ! help

#asks #thepixiediaries #ask game

[the-art-in-arthesia-is-loud]

here are the ref sheets i promised i'd post next! these designs.....are technically redesigns? lmaoooo

i'll explain it more under the cut, so do read it if you're interested/curious enough~ ^^

OKAY YES HI HELLO WELCOME TO Under The Cut™ ‼️‼️

these designs are essentially redesigns. these six goofy goobers get these designs after rgverse's main story (which reminds me i STILL haven't started working on the story summary yet. Bare with me pls)

i have a LOT to say about these designs heheheheeheheh

1. abstruse

• ok first of all. he has a crown!!!!!! :D his outfit also looks more interesting to me. i wanted to make these designs look interesting while still looking simplistic. i do hope i achieved that goal well lol

• he has a lil ponytail, bc i cannot stand men without ponytails /j

• he also looks more happier <33333333 look at the lil guy go. look at my son go 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

• as for whatever the fuck is on his thigh.....idk why i added it there honestly. i just needed some extra touches to him ig? lol

2. primeval texture

• ONE SUPER NOTICEABLE THING ABT HER DESIGN IS THAT HER HAIR NOW HAS A FADE!!!!!!!! YIPPEE

• she also has another accessory on her hair. it doesn't look like it bc i Can't draw it for the life of me but it's a feather lol

• her outfit is more...idk. idol-ish??? IDK WHAT TO CLASSIFY THIS STYLE LOL but i like it

• best girl (real)

3. technicolour

• darker bg for him bc god. some colors aren't noticeable enough with the usual bg color LMAO

• ANYWAYSSSS look!!!!! my other son!!!!!!!!!!!!

• he actually has head accessories now. ayeee

• paint splatters on him bc he got into painting and art after the rgverse story ended!

• bandages on him bc uhhh....reasons elaborated in story :}

• it's not noticeable enough but there's also bandages on his neck. reasoning? also elaborated in the story :3

4. logos

• what...is that cloak on her for? idk. just a random design choice

• side ponytail hairstyle for logos real

• as for the random splatters on her outfit and hair accessory, it's another random design choice lel

5. ego eimi

• her halo and wings are more lighter in terms of colors. reason? ALSO ELABORATED IN STORY. HA.

• flowers to make her look prettier <3

• more better clothing than her old design god bless

• bandages on her leg and right hand (unnoticeable) bc of....ummmm injuries aha

6. arghena

• NEW HAIR YAYAYAYYYYY :3333

• her hair looks a lil like teravolt's now. but hopefully it's different in some way

• TOP HAT. it's similar to chariot's honestly

• i don't have much to say abt her outfit lol

• random piece of clothing wrapped around her thigh bc that's her fucking choice actually. yea it's canon somewhat

• the 'bracelet' she's wearing on her left wrist isn't actually a bracelet. it's actually a watch. i just drew it like that bc of her goddamn hand position 😭

ok yea that's all lol. this was a pain in the ass to deal with but hey. it's worth it in the end :)

as for future plans, i'll work on more ref sheets. my main priority is make a post-rgverse main story design for unknown levels too, and then rework dawn a lil bc she's fine. except for her hair. yikes.

i'll also catch up on the characters who i haven't made ref sheets for yet. ad astra is next for that. thanks Spin The Wheel App

ok that's all ty for reading thru all of this nonsense <3

#(art)hesia #arthesias ocs #what an agonizingly long journey it has been: abstruse (oc) #a special kind of texture: primeval texture (oc) #like an ice cube: technicolour (oc) #to give law and order to the universe: logos (oc) #i exist: ego eimi (oc) #the embodiment of chaos and destruction herself: arghena (oc) #original character #original characters #oc #ocs #oc art #art #digital art #rgverse: artwork

[foeyayshippingweakness]

For the tropes: fuck or die; fake dating; mistaken identity; stockholm syndrome

fuck or die: gotta be a C- for me 😅 I don’t go searching for it and I generally don’t feel compelled to click on fics with it. I mostly see it in the form of bad guys made ‘em do it or sex pollen which usually renders the characters feeling incredibly distressed/guilty the entire time or just feeling too horny to be aware, and both of these things are distracting for me HAHA. of course, specific and creative fic situations can get me to read it and it’s not an immediate squicky nope. so it can depend on the writing and also my mood!

fake dating: also a C- ��� I can’t really think of a particular reason why. none of my most favorite/memorable fics ever have fake dating as the sole or main trope. I do know that I’m far more inclined for fake dating if it’s less to fool friends and family and more to fool an informal 3rd party. for example, I would rather click on a fic where two people fake a marriage due to visa issues than someone needing a plus one for a wedding or lying to an ex about having a significant other + needing to keep the lie going if that makes sense!

mistaken identity: this one can be interpreted in many ways 😤 “I don’t believe you’re this person you say you are” gets a D; “I thought you were an enemy in the dark so I accidentally stabbed you” gets a B; “person has sex… in the dark… or with a blindfold(?) thinking the other person is their SO the whole time when they’re not” gets a C; “oh, you must be his husband! (you are not his husband at all)” gets a D; “someone is kidnapped bc kidnappers thought they were someone else” gets a B; things more categorized under identify porn get an A- from me because identity squares can become tedious sometimes but the ensuing angst and shenanigans are mostly fun to watch!!

stockholm syndrome: A 😳 LOL. rises to A+ tier when whoever being stockholmed kinda has a screw loose already and the Situation just knocks that screw out. I’m not fond of straight up non-con which a lot of fics that fall under this tag have, but I like basically all the other elements in it; it’s even pretty fun for gen fics where there’s no romance but the MC is adamant on defending their kidnapper afterward. buuuut I think using the romance slash tag makes it more viable for the author to go deeper into darker/creepier scenes that typical gen fics don’t go for. most of all, I love the fight the MC always has with themselves in this type of fic, the back and forth between this person has made my life a living hell and oh no them being nice for even 5 seconds makes my stomach flutter (which might not occur if not for the isolation, trauma, etc). not only that, there’s sometimes pretty delicious build-up of the MC being forced to use their head and be clever, negotiate for “privileges” or show off their resilience. we get to see whumped!MC that was maybe already pretty lonely before ends up being cared for and pampered. this goes without saying, there’s the you’ve broken my rules so here’s your taste of pain. or sometimes there’s no violence and it’s just spending so much time with mainly only one other person makes your brain wonky. often a big theme is the “we have to fight to get out” goal becoming smaller and smaller and overtaken by the “but wouldn’t it be nice to just stay here instead?” and seeing how the author decides to spin the ending. it might be that they both die, that MC has to kill their kidnapper to get out, that MC becomes fully stockholmed even after being saved, that MC “fixes” their kidnapper and they all live happily ever after. oh BOY this one got really long, but I had a lot to say about the trope that might give some insight that people haven’t thought about before esp from someone who really likes reading stockholm syndrome fics but really doesn’t like non-con 😅

#ask game

[queenerdloser]

people are really still trying to get mad about ao3 getting donations huh. you’d think they’d just get over the fact that people are donating to a website they spend a lot of their time on with their own money - donations that are optional and easy to opt out of if you aren’t interested in doing it, on a website that has zero ads no less - and yet. somehow. once again i’m seeing posts floating around pretending that choosing to give your own money to a website is somehow morally defunct. i’m so tired of this argument, can yall please get off the internet and do something in real life for once.

#very much did see a post claiming that ao3 donations are esp heinous this year bc of the pandemic & like... jesus christ #a) you know nothing about people who donate - they very well could donate to other causes this year as well #b) who CARES who CARES!!!! it's THEIR MONEY. if they want to give it to a website that's fine!!!! #that's not somehow morally defunct!!!! they're giving it to a website that they spend a lot of time on and like!!!! #is donating to wikipedia somehow morally defunct too???? jesus christ!!!!! #c) literally no one forces you to donate it's entirely optional and you can opt out just by getting rid of the banner #like... considering how very laidback the entire thing is it boggles me that people continously complain about it year after year #d) the reason they get so much more than their goal is bc a lot of fucking people use the fucking website you idiots #it's one of the most trafficked sites on the internet!!! u morons!!! there's a LOT of people who can donate #so even if individual donations remain small that builds up quick!! i cant even do math and i know that!!!!!! #so why are you ragging on people for throwing in 20 bucks to a website?????? #anyway all of this to say if i see shit about ao3 donations i will unfollow bc it does send me into a rage spiral lmao

[streaming-yn]

Hi, its Grim anon! I was wondering if I could request a platonic bench trio with y/n (she/her) who is very open about her affection for the three (constantly complimenting them, saying ily, etc.), but lately she's been worried that people will take it the wrong way so she's stopped? And now they're like. Where's my Y/N validation? :(

yep yep!! here you go, grim anon! ^^ sorry if I got a bit off track? I'm not sure if I did or not!

platonic!BenchTrio x affectionate!y/n

pronouns: she/her

other information on the reader:

. minor

. very open with her affection

. minecraft streamer

. faceless streamer

. it's against her boundaries for anyone other than friends to use her real name

warnings: sexism/misogyny (ends well, the haters are addressed), idk but the "girl near streamer I like? ew wtf 😒" type of hate (also gets addressed n shut down), little angst, distancing yourself from friends, trying to change yourself, cussing, mention of "weird comments" made towards y/n *ALL OF THESE ISSUES ARE ADDRESSED AND SHUT DOWN THOUGH !!!

form: headcanons

summary: y/n is super openly affectionate with all of her friends! unfortunately, a lot of people think that's a negative thing, though Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo notice y/n's change and get to the bottom of it to fix the issue ^^

genre: platonic, little angst, fluff(?) after it gets found out, hurt to comfort type of deal ^^

abbreviations: s/n -> streamer name, y/n -> your name

note: I'm not very good at angst yet so I'm sorry if it kinda sucks !! :(

you were very in touch with your loving side and showed all your friends affection very openly and however you could

unfortunately, since y'all didn't live near each other that meant that you had to wait for visits for like hugs n stuff :(

at first you didn't think much of it, affection was a normal thing between friends, why do it differently on stream?

you would often tell the boys how much you loved them and we're genuinely happy and grateful that y'all were friends

complements and validation paired with this, naturally

the boys looked forward to streams with you, not only because you where best friends but for the serotonin that your affection brought :D

actually!! on streams with all of you together, it wouldn't be uncommon for tommy, tubbo, and ranboo to playfully fight over your affection

it would be in different ways though, like with Tommy, you would complement either ranboo or tubbo and if you didn't state a name tommy would be like "THAT WAS MENT FOR ME, (TUBBO/RANBOO)" after they thanked you

meanwhile tubbo would either go on about betrayal and how you didn't love him anymore and he's going to run away or he would do something along the lines of ":(( what about meee"

and ranboo, if the compliment wasn't aimed at him, even if you clearly added tommy or tubbo's name at the end, would always reply "thank you" or something similar

however it's different if the compliment is directed at them!

ranboo would thank you, do a small laugh that's half flustered half awkward, and then complement you back (he got less awkward and flustered as he got more used to it though!)

you could hear the smile in tubbo's voice as he loudly thanks you and gives you like 3 compliments in return

tommy, it would depend if either of y'all are streaming or not! yes? "I know" all jokingly cocky like. no? "thank you, I guess" he says it as a half joke, it's a genuine thank you, but he likes keeping it playful so the "I guess" is thrown on, it's random if he gives you a complement back or not, it's literally not even dependant on how he feels, it just at random

also I feel like you and Tommy would have like a "ily!! /p" "ew /j" bit, very often I will add 👍

like while your streaming you like "tommy!! I love you, thank you for being my friend :)" and him, completely disregarding the last bit, would reply "EWW, Y/N YOU DO KNOW IM I MINOR CORRECT??"

if him ever saying ew hurts your feelings then he won't say it, however he will say the rest, unless him deflecting your "ily" makes you feel bad as well, it's fairly easy to crack him to say it back since you're best friends

a lot of back and forth, but not too hard since he never wants to genuinely hurt you

ALSO if you complement him (on stream ofc) he will find a way to turn it around, not onto you, but just turning into something too tame to be labeled and insult but definitely something close!

"I like your sunglasses!!" "oH??? SO YOU DONT LIKE MY EYES??? THANKS S/N"

(also feel like tubbo might do this)

ofc would stop if it makes you sad/uncomfortable/etc

with ranboo though, he might occasionally do that, but it's way more often for you two to get into complementing matches (just going back and forth with complements)

you also sometimes do the "ily more" thing, just because it's funny bc it's like a cringe romance movie thing, y'all never do it on stream though because ppl might make it weird, and some friend quirks are better kept private anyway, just a you two thing :)

occasionally the "no you hang up first" too, except you both play they teen girl waving her hand and saying it the most high pitched voice she can. it's so funny hearing ranboo going so high 💀💀

as a rising streamer, of course you have Twitter, and your subtwt isn't toxic – due to your personality and stuff, the people you attract to your content are all pretty loving and chill! ofc there's a few bad eggs, but that's just what happens, you choose to ignore those few

but since you've gotten more popular, people finding you through your more popular friends, you've seen a rise of tweets mentioning you, whether it be in general or in the boy's replies

you're glad to be getting more popular, now you can find more people who seek comfort from your content, which was your goal when you started anyway! so it's all exciting! ..at first.

rise in people means rise of people in the toxic 1%, and also means rise of haters or people who just don't like you

sometimes you come across tweets like "why does y/n feel the need to be around ranboo, tubbo, and tommy? leave them alone ffs, she got her fame she wanted, she can leave now 🙄✋" and "we get it, girl streamers are less talented so you needed to leech off they boys' talent! like is she done yet or??" or occasional tweets saying something about shipping – which is against not only your boundaries but all of they boys' as well.

the replies being full of "use s/n, using her real name is breaking her boundaries! and if you have an issue, then don't watch the streams she's in, dickhead!", "you could just mute her name on here and not follow her twitch, you're being overdramatic for no reason", "hey hey, remember that s/n checks her indirects", "ew, deactivate", "aw, are you scared bc a girl is better than you at gaming? aw you gonna cry??", etc, makes you feel a bit better, but the punch from the original tweet lingers

after seeing a bit more, you saw the majority of the haters – and weird people – you saw the root of it was probably because you were so affectionate towards you friends and just being around them in general

so, it'd be best to stop, right? don't participate in as many streams, stop being so affectionate in general, to be honest you were already quite anxious that you being so "clingy" was annoying, the hate just solidified it

so you have a plan in line, the hard part is executing it :(

to start, you stopped complimenting them as much on stream, and the late phone calls lessened, and those became more and more noticeable before you "got too busy" to be in as many streams as you used to

I feel like ranboo would notice first and try talking to you before bringing it up to tommy and tubbo, but when you replied "oh! yeah I'm good dw :)" he knew it was a lie and went to the others

"what do you think is going on?" "I'm not sure" "whatever it is, do you think this is why she stopped being so affectionate? I miss it"

then it clicked for tommy while ranboo and tubbo still tried to figure it out

"do you think it's family problems?" "no, last time they has family problems they became more clingy and their phone calls were more frequent, not-" "wait wait wait"

tommy checked your social media platforms, of course they had more followers than before

"what? tommy?" "I think it's more of an online hate problem" tommy leaned back in his chair, running his hands over his face before looking over at the discord call as the two others made sounds of shock, "yeah, this started after her platform got bigger and she got more well known" "..you're right" "how- how do we fix it?" "address it on a stream?" "no, no, not yet, I think we should contact y/n first, see if she'll tell us if we're right or not" "I could try? last time I texted her she responded pretty quickly so maybe that still applies?" "yeah, tell us if we're right or not and we'll continue from there"

so ranboo texted you, making sure to form the text to get to the point but not scare you, he knows how anxiety inducing confrontation, especially from friends, can be for you

you didn't know exactly how to respond, would it be better if you lied? or would the truth be better?

after a few times of the "..." appearing and disappearing on ranboo's screen before you message of ",, yeah, that is the reason actually ;; I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I thought it'd be better to just distance myself :(" sent through

the boys on call could hear the frown in ranboo's voice when he sighed and said "oh" "were we right?" "just a second"

ranboo replied to you, reassuring you that you don't don't have to apologize for not telling them and it isn't your fault, making sure to remind you that you can come to either him, tommy, or tubbo whenever you want

"yeah, she got hate, and I guarantee that if we go through her indirects then we'll see what exactly happened, we may have to scroll a bit though" so they searched around on Twitter and found some, then tubbo spoke "do you think she would want to join call so we can figure out what to do to fix this?" "I can text her, though maybe we can more of distract and comfort her tonight? we can talk about the hate and stuff another time" "yeah yeah, I think that's a good idea"

so he texted you to see if you'd like to join the call, you accepted and ended up playing video games with them – mainly Minecraft servers – for a few hours before tommy had you and ranboo (assuming you're in the US or close) sign off to get some sleep (if you're in the UK or close, he had you and tubbo sign off and then signed off himself for some sleep)

the next day you guys hopped back on call to discuss how you guys would fix it, as well as them giving a bunch of positive comments about your affection :)

you guys decided on a serious stream from Tommy's account, it was either tommy or ranboo's account, but you guys chose tommy bc he's not anxious about turning off donos and other things

you guys discussed that the hate you were getting was uncalled for, and the weird comments were to be stopped immediately.

"I think that's everything? y/n, anything else?" "yeah I think that's about it, thank you guys so much!!" "alright, one more thing before we go- chat- chat, if you have an issue with y/n being in our streams just don't watch our streams! if you don't like y/n we don't want you here" "tommyyyy :(( (/pos)" "wait wait!! chat, if anyone asks or is being rude either spread clips on the stream or screenshots of the tweets we posted!! we want to make sure that everyone – even those not watching the stream – are informed!" "alright, bye chat, I better not see any more y/n negativity!!"

there wasn't negativity in chat when you went to check btw :)! it was in emote-only bc they thought it'd be the best thing to do and most of the chat was filled with hearts and other positive emotes! <33

now whenever hate stuff it posted the replies have screenshots of either tommy, tubbo, or ranboo's tweets, links to the VOD, or clips, stating the most important and the tweet is usually taken down within a matter of hours – days sometimes

and after that everything was back to normal!! you started complimenting them again, telling them how much you love them again, etc etc! you even got back into late calls :)

#angst with a happy ending #streamer!y/n #streamer!reader #mcyt x reader #streamer!au #fanfic #headcanon #headcanons #platonic fanfic #platonic tommyinnit x reader #platonic tommy x reader #platonic!reader #platonic x reader #platonic #platonic ranboo x reader #platonic tubbo x reader #tubbo x reader #ranboo x reader #tommy x reader #dsmp x reader #affectionate!reader #affectionate!y/n #affectionate! reader #affectionate! y/n #angst with comfort #comfort #angst #grim anon #requested #asked and answered

[nevermindirah]

Do you have any thoughts on the use of AAVE for Nile (or lack thereof) in TOG fanfiction? I've been reading some Book of Nile fic and some writers seem to write her as a Millennial™ (using words like "fave" and "woke") but never acknowledge her Blackness in her patterns of speech. I know we don't see her use as much AAVE in the films, but I would argue she's in situations where code-switching would be valued (first in a "professional" environment in the army, then around a group of non-Black strangers).

Hi anon! I have many thoughts on this and I'm honored you asked me! But I should start by saying I'm white and any thoughts Black fans and especially Black American fans have on this that they want to share would be beyond lovely. (I'm not gonna tag anybody bc that feels rude but please add onto this post if any of y'all see this and want to!)

The main reason I personally avoid AAVE for Nile in my own fics is because I'm not Black. But Nile-centric fics by Black writers tend to avoid using much of it too, at least from what I've noticed/understood, and my guess is it's largely for the reason you mention, that she's in situations that encourage code-switching.

In movie canon Nile is highly competent at tailoring her language to each situation she finds herself in. This fantastic linguistics analysis meta shows how skillfully Nile chooses her vocabulary and grammar to meet her goals with different conversation partners in different contexts. In comics canon Nile had a bunch of different civilian jobs before joining the Marines, so she would've had experience code-switching in the ways that made sense for all those different contexts as well as the Marines and her family and high school and wherever else she spent her time before we met her. And now she's spending her time with a handful of immortals none of whom are native English speakers and a fellow Black American but one with a Queen's English UK accent whose professional experience is in the CIA where high-status code-switching is often an absolute must for success or even survival.

Fics featuring Nile are charged with extrapolating from that to how it might show up in her use of language that she's coping with a traumatic separation from her family and her career and pretty much everything she's ever known and now she needs to be able to make herself understood to people who seem to care about her and each other but are super duper in crisis, three (soon to be four) of whom predate Modern English entirely and the only one who's anywhere near her contemporary she's not supposed to talk to for a century. All of these people are telling her that pretty much any contact with any mortals poses an existential threat to her and the rest of the group. How the FUCK is she supposed to cope with that, like, generally? And would it be a more effective way for her to cope if she talked to Andy Joe and Nicky using the speech patterns that she used to use with her mom and brother, to at least retain that part of her identity even if it means having to do a lot of explaining, or would it meet her needs better to prioritize Andy Joe and Nicky understanding what she means with her words over using the particular words and grammar forms she used with her family?

I've seen several fics, both Nile-centric / BoN and otherwise, explore this a little bit in how/whether Nile uses Millennial™ speak. It's often a theme in Nile texting Booker despite the exile because of the popular headcanon that he as The Tech Guy is the only other immortal who understands memes. But Nile's much-younger-than-Booker mom probably uses Boomer and/or Gen X memes and Andy has been adapting to new communication styles for forever as evidenced by her canon high level of fluency with standard-American-accented English.

Which brings us back to people avoiding AAVE because they're not Black and they don't want to make mistakes (or they're not Black and they don't want to get yelled at for making mistakes, though I think many people overestimate how much they'll get yelled at while underestimating how much these mistakes can hurt). I can imagine some Black fans hold back from using much AAVE in fic because they don't want to share in-group stuff with white people who are likely to then adopt and ruin it, as white people so often do with Black cultural stuff. Some links about this including a great Khadija Mbowe video. I'm saying this gently, anon, because you might not know: woke, an example you cited as Millennial™ speak, is AAVE, and that's gotten erased by so many white people appropriating it and using it incorrectly online.

And also there's the part where fandom is a hobby and you never know when you're reading a fic that's the very first thing someone's ever written outside of a school assignment. This cultural considerations of language shit takes a level of effort and skill that not everybody puts into every fic, or even could if they wanted to because they haven't had time to build their skills yet. It's definitely easier for non-Black fans to project our millennial feels onto Nile than to do the layers of research and self-reflection it requires to depict what Blackness might mean to Nile, and it's not surprising that often people sharing their hobby creations on the internet have gone the easier route. There's not even necessarily shame in doing what's easier. It's just frustrating and often hurtful when structural white supremacy means that 3-dimensional Black characters are rare in media and thoughtful explorations of them in fandom are seen by the majority of fans as not-easy to make and therefore Nile Freeman, the main character in The Old Guard (2020) dir. Gina Prince-Bythewood, has the least fic and meta and art made about her of our 5 main immortals.

I've been active in different fandoms off and on for twenty years and I barely managed to write 5,000 words about Sam Wilson across multiple different fics in the 7 years since I fell in love with him. There's an alchemy to which characters we connect with, and on top of that which characters we connect with in a way that causes us to create stuff about them. Something about Nile Freeman finally tipped me over the edge from a voracious reader to a voracious writer. It's not for me to judge which characters speak to other individuals to the level of creating content about them, but I do think it's important for us to notice, and then work to fight, the pattern where across this fandom as a whole Nile gets way less content, and way less depth in so much of the content that's in theory about her, than any of these other characters.

Anyway, back to language. My two long fics feature Nile with several Black friends — Copley and OCs and cameos from other media — but all of those characters except Alec Hardison from Leverage aren't American. It's very possible I'm guilty of stereotyping Black British speech patterns in I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore. I watched hours and hours of Black haircare YouTube videos in the research for that fic and I modeled my OCs' speech patterns on what I heard from some of those YouTubers as well as what I've heard people like John Boyega and Idris Elba saying in interviews, but the thing about doing your best is you still might fuck up.

I'm slowly making progress on my WIP where Nile and Sam Wilson are cousins, and what ways of talking with a family member might be authentic for Nile is a major question I need to figure out. For that, I'm largely modeling my writing choices on how I hear my Black friends and colleagues talking to each other. I haven't overheard colleagues talking in an office in a long-ass time, but back when that was a thing, I remember seeing a ton of nuance in the different ways many of my Black colleagues would talk to each other. Different people have different personalities! And backgrounds! And priorities! A few jobs ago my department was about 1/3 Black and we worked closely with Obama administration staff many of whom were Black and there was SO MUCH VARIETY in how Black people talked to each other, about work and workplace-appropriate personal stuff, where I and other white coworkers could hear. There are a few work friends in particular who I have in my head when I'm trying to imagine how Sam and Nile might talk to each other. From the outside looking in, God DAMN is shit complicated, intellectually and interpersonally and spiritually, for Black people who are devoting their professional lives to public service in the United States.

One more aspect of this that I have big thoughts on but I need to take extra care in talking about is the idea of acknowledging Nile's Blackness in her patterns of speech. There's no one right way to be Black, and Nile's a fictional character created by a white dude but there are plenty of real-life Black Americans who don't use much or even any AAVE, for reasons that are complicated because of white supremacy. (Highly highly recommend this video by Shanspeare on the harms of the Oreo stereotype.)

Something that's not the same but has enough similarity that I think it's worth talking about is my personal experience with authenticity and American Jewish speech patterns. My Jewish family members don't talk like they're in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, and I've known lots of people who do talk that way (or the millennial version of it), some of whom have questioned my Jewishness because I don't talk that way. That hurts me. Sometimes when another Jew tells me some shit like "I've never heard a Jew say y'all'd've," I can respond with "well now you have asshole, bless your Yankee-ass heart," because the myth of Dixie is a racist lie but I will totally call white Northerners Yankees when they're being shitty to me for being Southern, and this particular Jew fucking revels in using "bless your heart" with maximum polite aggression, especially with said Yankees. But sometimes I don't have it in me to say anything and it just quietly hurts having an important part of me disbelieved by someone who shares that important part of me. The sting isn't quite the same when non-Jews disbelieve or discount my Jewishness, but that hurts too.

Who counts as authentically Jewish is a messy in-group conversation and it doesn't really make sense to explain it all here. Who counts as authentically Jewish is a matter of legal status for immigration, citizenship, and civil rights in Israel, and it's my number 2 reason after horrific treatment of Palestinians that I'm antizionist. But outside that extremely high-stakes legal situation, it can just feel really shitty to not be recognized as One Of Us, especially by your own people.

It can also feel really shitty to be The Only One of Your Kind in a group, even if that group is an immortal chosen family who all loves each other dearly. Sometimes especially in a situation like that where you know those people love you but there are certain things they don't get about you and will never quite be able to. I'm definitely projecting at least a little bit of my "lonely Jew who will be alone again for yet another Jewish holiday" stuff onto Nile when at the end of I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore she's thinking about being the only Black immortal and moving away from the community she'd built with a mostly-Black group of mortals in that fic. Maybe that tracks, or maybe that's fucked up of me.

Basically, this got very long but it's complicated, writing about experiences that aren't your own takes skill which in turn takes time and practice to build, writing about experiences not your own that our society maligns can cause a lot of harm if done badly, it can also cause a lot of harm when a large enough portion of a fandom just decides to nope out of something that's difficult and risky because then there's just not much content about a character who deserves just a shit ton of loving and nuanced content, people are individuals and two people who come from the exact same cultural context might show that influence in all kinds of different ways, identity is complicated, language is complicated, writing is hard, and empathy and humility and doing our best aren't a guarantee of avoiding harm but they do go a long way in helping people create thoughtful content about a character as awesome and powerful and kind and messy and scared and curious and WORTHY as Nile Freeman.

#nile freeman #linguistics #TOG POC Love Fest #nileweek2021 #tog meta #tog #long post #mine #antiblackness #jewish things #hi i'm an antizionist jew no i don't really want to talk about it

[bukojuiice]

ʚ Going to Universal Studios Japan with them (ft. Izuku, Katsuki, Shoto, Denki, Eijirou, Shinsou and Dabi) ɞ *‧.₊˚*੭

—  @bukojuiice’s 720+ followers gift! thank you so so much for supporting my works!  ♡ ily all i never would have thought i would reach this milestone 🥺

—  uni student! izuku, katsuki, shoto, eijirou, denki, shinsou and evil turned good! dabi x reader headcanons ♡

 — To further elaborate, this is a Dabi that turned Good for his bby bro because I know that this is physically impossible in the manga and i found it hard to play around with a cute and fluffy set of hcs within a villain context. so pls let me have a good Dabi just this one time qwq

— if you like to see more from me, i have an ongoing bakugo x fem reader! smau called cuddle buddy! read it here!  for my bnha masterlist check it out here!  ♡

— please reblog, reply and leave like if you enjoyed! it means a lot! c:

—  all universal studios japan photos are taken by me. Most of these headcanons are also based on my experience in Universal Studios Japan!  (๑•͈ᴗ•͈)

—  content warning: slight innuendo/sexual content, strong language and mention of Endeavor

— summary: You spend a wonderful day in one of the most happiest places on earth with your just as wonderful significant other. 

—  You and Izuku stroll through Hogsmeade of the newly opened Hogwarts area of the Park. Your hand in his and your arms interlocked.

—  Izuku would geek out. As in geek out. He very much loved Harry Potter growing up and being able to go to USJ was a dream come true.

—  “It’s LeviOSA not LeviOSAR.” You continue to make Harry Potter jokes and Izuku was loving every minute of it. He could not stop laughing.

— You loved seeing his laugh as it made your heart feel all fluffy inside. God. why must this boy be so cute?

—  Izuku is just as big of a Potterhead as you. The two of you took the Hogwarts House test online and Izuku was sorted into Gryffindor whilst you were sorted into Slytherin. Two complete opposites yet you guys were the most adorkable couple ever. 

— Even the amusement park goers (the couples in particular) couldn’t help but turn their eyes to the two of you. 

—  The two of you are wearing matching Hogwarts robes, earning compliments from the staff giggling about how cute the two of you are! 

— YOU GUYS WERE MOST PROBABLY THE CUTEST COUPLE IN THE AMUSEMENT PARK!?? 

— LIKE YES TWO SOFT CUTIES AND IN HOGWARTS ROBES OF ALL MATCHING OUTFITS THEY COULD HAVE WORN?? COUPLE GOALS

—  You were originally going to hang out with the entire Dekusquad but ofc your friends just decided to play matchmaker and instead collectively backed out and said they were busy bc of uni (obvs a lie)

—  You wonder why they would play matchmaker when the you and Izuku were already together in the first place and they know that very well HSKHSHSKHS 

—  anyways ochaco, tsuyu, shoto and tenya are very supportive wbk

—  Izuku just wanted this day to be very special and to be between the two of you only. 

—  “Izu-kun! Let’s try out the Butterbeer and see if it tastes just as good as the books and movies make them to be!” You point to a food stall that sells the famous beverage seen in the series, with both alcoholic and non-alcoholic kinds.

—  “Of course (Y/N)!-chan Anything for you!” He says sweetly and gingerly hands the money to the food vendor. 

— For fun and because why the hecc not, you decided to order the alcoholic variant of the drink whilst Izuku had purchased the non-alcoholic one.

—  In turn, you ended up becoming a little bit tipsy as the two of you enter the Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey ride.

—  Izuku stares in awe as the waiting line makes you go through the interior of Hogwarts Castle. Both you and Izuku couldn’t help but just stare in amazement. 

—  You smile at the sight of your cute freckled boyfriend admiring the view and the area before him. It was as if he was transported into the actual world of Harry Potter and you couldn’t help but feel the overwhelming emotions he was feeling right now. 

—  The two of you hold hands during the entire attraction as both of you are seated in a 3-seater ride. T’was cute uwu

—  Albeit the fact that you were a little bit tipsy, the entire 4-D ride was magnificent as it literally took you through every adventure Harry Potter and the rest of the cast had experienced. 

— It was probably one of the best rides you’ve been to tbh??

— “The Dementors were so creeeeeeepy.” Izuku shuddered, rubbing his arm. “”They looked so real!” He turns to you, wonder and amazement plastered all over his face.

—  “THE WORST THING ABOUT PRISON WAS THE DEMENTORSSSS.” You howled, your voice practically echoing around the exit area. 

—  “IZUkU!!! I LOAF YOUUUUUUU SOW MUCHHHHHIE.”

—  Midoriya knew that you got a bit tipsy due to the butterbeer, as soon as he had noticed the body language you were showing, he supports your weight by holding you tightky and then slowly take you to the cafe near the entrance that served hot coffee.

—  Thankfully, you were able to sober up so that the two of you could go around the rest of the park before the Night show took place in Hogwarts Castle. 

—  “You know, I’m so lucky to have you (Y/N)-chan. Just like how lucky Ron is to have Hermione.” He plants a kiss on your forehead, he firmly holds you as the evening light show of Hogwarts Castle begins. 

—  “You’re overreacting Izu-kun. I’m not as smart as Hermione.” You shake your head, trying to avoid eye contact as he just made another cheesy Harry Potter Joke. “More like I’m the Ron to your Hermione. I mess up sometimes yet you’re always there for me to help me up when I’m down.” 

—  “Then I guess we don’t have to compare ourselves to Ron and Hermione then. Because I wouldn’t have a life like this with you any other way. I love you (Y/N)-chan.”

—  “I love you too Izu-kun.” 

—  An array of colorful fireworks pop in the sky and the both of you look deep into each other’s eyes, holding each other tightly til the festivities end.

— The two of you arrived at Universal Studios Japan earlier than most people. Bakugo always wanted to be first in line even though the two of you had fast passes to specific rides. He just rolls like that.

—  You forced him to wear matching matching elmo and cookie monster headbands with you. You were wearing the Elmo one and he was wearing the Cookie monster design.

  —  He’d spoil you soooooooo bad like he’d be grumpy at first and refuse to buy you this cute little souvenir item you’d probably never use, but he’d still spoil the heck out of you. Just as long as it was mildly reasonable.

—  He was all for thrill rides. As long as he got to show off how bad-ass and brave he is to you. That was until you discovered one of the Jurassic Park rides in the park and HOO BOY...

  —  You were internally squealing at the sight of him wearing the cookie monster that your brain just?? kinda stopped?? You secretly take a pic of your explosive boyfie and then change his contact name to Cookie Monster.

—  You first enter the Jurassic Park area at the insistence of Kirishima, Kaminari, Mina and Sero whomst you were supposedly going to meet after 2 hours

— As you roam around, there’s awkward silence between the two of you until you begin to obnoxiously sing the theme song of the series to try and annoy Bakugo, “TENENENEN TENENENENEN TENENENEN”

—‘’(Y/N) Geez, could you stop singing that stupid song? It fucking annoys me.’’

—‘’No way we’re riding that shitty fucking water ride. I will not get wet today.”

— “Oh really? What if you get wet in different ways?”

—He smirks at you, taking your hand and rubbing your thumb, “Let’s see when we get home.’’

— “OH WAIT BUT FIRST LET’S SHARE A TURKEY LEG!’’ You point to a nearby food stall, selling turkey legs for 980 yen. 

— Katsuki begrudgingly follows you to the stall and buys a turkey leg for the two of you to share. 

—You were deep in thought. Fantasizing if you could eat the Turkey Leg with Katsuki “Lady and Tramp” style. 

— Much to your dismay, Katsuki had finished the Turkey Leg before you could get another bite. You pout and cross your arms, yet he doesn’t notice you silently shooting daggers at him.

— You then quickly forget about the Turkey Leg as soon as the Flying Dinosaur attraction hovered above you. The amusing screams of the people riding it could be heard as it passed at a speed you could have never imagined.

—  ‘’Suki-kun!! Let’s ride that next!’’

— ‘’We just ATE. Are you fucking serious right now?’’

—  ‘’Or are you too chicken?’’ You tease him playfully. ‘’Hmm… Looks like eating the entire turkey leg turned you into a chicken now didn’t it?’’

—  ‘’Fine. Fuck this.’’ He tilts his head, gesturing you to follow suit. ‘’Let’s get into the fast pass line.’’

— You get on the ride and see up close the details of the dinosaur as it’s positioned upright for you two to get on. You take your seats and are instructed to strap yourselves in the seat. 

— You get a wonderful view of the sea as the ride continues to ascend, going up and down, at high speeds. You begin to scream your heart out, the adrenaline rushing through you. Bakugo tries to put up a face, not wanting to scream and show any weakness. You look at him again as the ride arrives at a downwards slope, creating a momentum before it descends again at high speed.

— The ride begins to move, positioning itself like a pterodactyl would. You take Bakugo’s hand and give it a tight squeeze. You look at him for comfort and he nods at you lovingly. You were at ease albeit the fact that the two of you are about to experience one of the most terrifying amusement park rides ever.

The two of you are then positioned to be dangling in mid-air, the safety strap from a while ago being the only thing holding you in place. 

—  ‘’(Y/N)! I LOVE YOU!’’ He screams his lungs out as the ride passes through the ocean again, giving you a clear view of the sea surrounding the wonderful prefecture of Osaka.

—  You smile cheekily and begin to scream from the top of your lungs too. ‘’I LOVE YOU TOO KATSUKI!’’

—  ‘’Did you really mean that I love you?’’ You ask him. Your adrenaline is still pumping you up.

— ‘’Of course I did you nerd. I had to get it out of my chest.’’ He says, avoiding eye contact, scratching the back of his neck.

—  The ride then ends abruptly and you could never feel more grateful. You could practically kiss the floor as your legs shaked once you got off. Katsuki supports you with his arm around yours and the two of you get off the ride.

—  ‘’I want to hear you say that again.’’ You poke his cheek but he doesn’t move an inch.

—  ‘’Come on. We have to go look for Kirishima in the others.’’

—  ‘’One more time Suki-kun! Please?’’ You look at him with your most dramatic puppy eyes and he couldn’t help but give in.

—  ‘’Fine.’’ He says grumpily. ‘’I love you.’’

—  ‘’I love you too. Let’s never ride that again.’’

— ‘’Agreed.’’

— Shoto made sure that he would make the most of the time with you before the two of you go back to University. Booking the most luxurious hotel available, fine dining every single night you were in Osaka and going on private local tours and taking high-end trips to Nara and Kyoto.  

— He’s spoiling you so so so bad and as much as you didn’t want Shoto to spend too much, he kept on insisting. 

— This is also why he decided your trip near your birthday so that in a sense, this is his birthday surprise for you too!

— He wanted to go all out just for you. 

— You feel like you’re in Cloud 9 every time you’re with Shoto. How much more when you’re going on an extra special trip with him? 

— “This Eren Jeager’s voice sounds familiar. It’s as if we have the same voice.” Todoroki looks at the screen perplexed, putting on the 4-D Glasses and making sure you were already comfortable on your seat.

— ‘’I know right. You’re hotter of course.’’ You whisper, giving him a peck on the cheek.

— Attack on Titan is your all time favorite anime ever.

— Shoto wasn’t too well-versed in anime, so him bringing you to USJ is one of the best things he could ever do for you.

— Especially since the park had a limited time Attack on Titan 4-D Attraction!!

— YOU KNEW you had to go there and it was also a perfect opportunity for you to bond with Shoto

— As long as you were happy and he could support you with your interests, he was happy too.

— Being able to go on the Attack on Titan 4D Ride was a dream come true.

— You brought Shoto to the souvenir shop first and bought matching headbands for the two of you.

— You were wearing a headband that had two little chibi Levis on each side whilst Shoto had little chibi Erens on his uwu

— He’d be spoiling you so so much !!! Any souvenir item you’d set your eyes on, he’d immediately buy it for you!! 

— Before you can even say no, he’s already bought it using his luxurious black credit card. YOUR BOYFIE WAS RICH OFC I MEAN WHAT WOULD YOU EXPECT!?

—  "That was amazing." Todoroki says in awe, still trying to process the thrill he had just experienced. "I wonder what would happen if titans started appearing all of a sudden?"

—  "Let's say a smol titan appears right now. I wonder if you could pierce it with your ice?" You tilt your head, beginning to think about unrealistic scenarios. "Anywhooo, shall we go to the next ride on our list? It's called Hollywood Dream!"

—  "Let's gooooo~" He hums monotonously, earning giggles from you. He wraps an arm around your shoulder, pulling you close as you walk side by side. 

— “Okay... so there are two variants to this ride. There’s one that goes in reverse and the other one goes so high up that we have an overview of the whole park.” You go through a brochure that you picked up at the entrance.

 — “Whichever one you’re more comfortable with (Y/N).” 

—  “Let’s go on the one where we can see our hotel because of how high it is!”

—  “OKAY NVM THIS WAS A BAD IDEA.” You say as the rollercoaster begins to reach it’s momentum, the ride going higher and higher.  Until you can see your hotel and every recognizable landmark from afar. 

—  Shoto then clasps your hand, giving it a tight squeeze. “It’s okay (Y/N). I’m right here. Just hold my hand okay?” 

—  You nod slowly, taking a deep breath. You close your eyes and feel a fell swoop on your stomach as the wind passes through your face.

—  Justin Timberlake’s Can’t Stop the Feeling begins to play as the rollercoaster begins to descend from roaring heights. They purposefully attached speakers to the ride so that the park goers would feel hyped up and excited instead of being terrified of how high up they are. 

—  Shoto’s hands are still intertwined with yours. You weren’t letting go. 

—  The screams of everyone else in the ride grows louder and louder and you can’t help but sing to the song instead.

—  “I GET THIS FEELINGGG INSIDE MY BONES! IT GOES ELECTRIC, WAVEY WHEN I TURN IT ONN.” You began to sing, raising your arms up high as you slowly begin to enjoy the ride. 

—  Shoto who was sitting on the end yet is still able to keep his calm composure, turns to you, and a small smile flashes on his face when he sees you channel your nervousness through singing. 

—  He begin to sing along with you too! AAAHHH WHAT A CUTIE

—  “All through my city, all through my home, We're flying up, no ceiling, when we in our zone.” He continues. You look at him and ease up a little bit once you see his handsome face and comfortable presence beside you.

— And before you knew it, the ride came to a stop. It was finally over. You take a deep breath and Shoto helps you out of your seat.

— “I got that sunshine in my pocket! Got that good song in my feet. I feel that hot blood in my body when it drops!” You and Shoto begin to duet to the pop and colorful song. You begin to fully enjoy the ride, barely even noticing the ride making sharp and fast turns as it continues to go up and down. 

— “I might have hated it at first but that was exhilarating.” 

— “I knew you could do it.” He says proudly, planting a kiss on your forehead. “You are the bravest person I know after all.” 

— “I wouldn’t have overcome my fears if it weren’t for you though.” You scrunch your nose, and hold on to Shoto’s arm. Your heart still beating so fast. “Thank you for being my safe space Shoto. I’m always at peace whenever I’m with you. Thank you for always being my comfort person.”

— “Of course (Y/N). Why wouldn’t I be?” He tilts his head, clueless. “Are you game enough to ride the reversed one this time?”

— “Of course I am!” 

— He chuckles, “That’s my love. If you feel like you can’t do it, Just know that I’m always here to support you.” 

— The first attractions on your list were the water rides. More specifically the Jurassic Park Water Ride and the JAWS ride. 

— You and Kirishima would try every ride in the park if you could. He loved to try and experience new things especially if he’s able to do them with you!

— Kiri is a very very fun person and would always be game with anything tbh!!

— You’re wearing matching dinosaur hats with Kirishima!!

— ‘’RAWR!’’ You make cutesy dinosaur gestures at your boyfriend, jumping around in your place. ‘’Can you believe we’re finally here in USJ!?’’ He blushes profusely, pecking your cheek. 

—  ‘’I can’t believe it too.’’ He chuckles then pauses for a moment before...

— ‘’RAWR!’’ He says back, his hands forming into claws, his cute mouth open wide and his sharp shark teeth very much visible. You giggle at his returned gesture, finding it more cuter than you should.

— ‘’(Y/N) you’re adorable! You know that right?’’ He laughs and continues to hold you tightly.

— ‘’Pshh of course I do! I have an equally adorable boyfriend too!’’ You look up at him, beaming.

— The two of you then jump in your place in unison, both mimicking each other’s cute ‘’RAWR!’’ and hand gestures as Kirishima pulls you into a hug.

— ‘’Don’t forget manly!’’ He winks and grabs your hand, taking you to the Jurassic Park Water ride.

— “I actually find it smart that we go on the water rides first so that we can just change clothes immediately after. Good thinkening Kiri!” You remark, patting him on the head.

— THINKENING??? THINKENING??? Eijirou could not think straight right now because of how cute you are

— ANYWAY HE WASNT GOING TO LOOK OR ANYTHING KIRISHIMA IS A GENTLEMAN HE IS NOT A BAD BOI WHO WILL GIVE IN TO TEMPATION!!

— You looked so excited to go on the rides and he couldn’t be happier seeing you like this 

— IT ALSO DIDNT HELP THAT YOU WERE WEARING A WHITE SHIRT SO IF YOU DID GET WET THEN 👁👄👁

— The ride begins and the all too familiar theme song of the series begins to play as the gates to the Jurassic Park opens as the water ride begins to move

— Although the ride was very predictable, and you knew the surprise at the end was the T-rex trying to jumpscare you as the ride falls down a high incline, splashing all of the people on the ride. 

— Kirishima still looked like he had lots of fun. 

— He turns to you, a huge cheeky smile plastered upon his face as he tries to dry his clothes. “That was fun!” 

— The ride may seem calm at first, but then the T-Rex begins to secretly appear around the forest-ish area surrounding the water ride. 

— “It was!” You smiled back. You look down on your shirt innocently. “I didn’t expect that I’d get this wet so I thought wearing a white shirt would be-”

— “LET’S BUY YOU A JURASSIC PARK SHIRT IN THE SOUVENIR SHOP OKAY!? SO THAT YOU WON’T WASTE YOUR OTHER CLOTHES AND YOU CAN CHANGE IN THEM FOR THE JAWS RIDE INSTEAD.” Eijirou stands up so suddenly from the boat. He takes you by the hand without shooting you another glance as not to show how flustered he was. 

— “Okay then...” You reply, as Kirishima whisks you away, leading you to the souvenir shop just outside of the attraction.

— Kirishima breathes a sigh of relief as he sees you exit the comfort room. 

— He calls you over, “(Y/N)! While you were changing your clothes, I went back to the souvenir shop and realized that they were actually couple shirts!

— We are so Adora-saurable! was written on both of your shirts along wtih a cute dinosaur couple print on them.

— “Funny how you were able to find a Dinosaur pun on the word adorable! What a coincidence!” You giggle, poking Kirishima’s cheek. “I think we had enough of dinosaurs for now. Shall we check out the other rides?”

— “Right beside ya!” Kiri flashes you his signature smile, taking your hand in his again, swinging it back and forth as the two of you continue to your next destination. 

— The way you scolded him was more in a joking way though!!

— You guys arrive a bit late because Kaminari ended up sleeping through his alarm 🙃

— When the two of you met up at the entrance you scolded him so bad because you practically lost two hours and HNGGGGG

— All he could do was hug you tightly from behind and say “gomen!” “gomen!” over and over again

— you were loving every second of it!!!! denki was being super cute and you couldn’t help but just go uwu

— BUT THEN YOU SCOLDING HIM  DIDN’T REALLY MATTER BC YOU GUYS HAD FAST PASSES

— YOU DO BE FLEXING YOUR FAST PASSES THO

— THE TWO OF YOU FELT LIKE RICH KIDS FLEXING YOUR GUCCI FLIPFLOPS WHEN IN FACT YOU WERE FLEXING YOUR FAST PASSES

— OK SO you and Kaminari decided to go to the Despicable Me/Minions area first not just for the memes but also because it was the most popular attraction this season.

— You also wanted to get on the rides there first since it takes 2 hours before you can even get in

— YOU HAVE MATCHING MINION POPCORN BUCKETS WITH HIMM!!

— The design of yours was a cute little minion holding a teddy bear whilst his was a special Christmas reindeer edition.

—  “(Y/N)-chan! Look at the line! Should we line up and take a picture with the Minions!?” He points to a meet and greet line for the yellow mascots

—  You weren’t exactly the biggest fan of these abominations but facebook mom memes aside, Denki looked super super excited and you didn’t want to ruin a great start to a perfect day so you just went with it.

—  The staff attendants thought Kaminari looked super excited like cute little sparky puppy seeing the minions so they gave you cute minion button pins!!

— The Despical Me Area pretty much played Happy by Pharell Williams non-stop as people stroll around so you and Denki couldn’t help but dance along to it.

—  It didn’t matter if people looked at the two of you weirdly either!! Just being with denki and being chaotic with him is one of the best feelings ever and he feels the same way too

— You guys did all kinds of funky dances til the two of you got exhausted and decided to try out the other rides. 

— There were also carnival game stands and Kaminari ended up winning you the exact same unicorn stuff toy seen in the Despical Me movies.

— Cotton Candy, Gumballs, Skittes, anything remotely sweet being sold on the stalls, you tried all of them.

— “IT’S SO FLUFFFFFY!!!” You imitate one of the cute characters from the movie, hugging the stuffed toy to your chest. “Thank you Kami-kun! I will cherish this forever!”

— Kaminari grins widely, “I know you aren’t too fond of the Minions but thank you for still going with me to this area first.” You can see the emotion and the appreciation in his eyes. 

— “OMG DENKI OFC! WHY WOULD I NOT ENJOY THIS!?” You say incredulously. “I had such an amazing time! Minions and their annoying voices aside. I always have the best time when I’m with you!”

— Crocodile tears start to form on Denki’s eyes as he pulls you into a hug. “AAAAAAAHH (Y/N)-CHAN I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUU. THANK YOU FOR BEARING WITH ME. I’M DOING THIS FOR THE MEMES.” 

— You giggle, patting Kaminari on the back. “It’s alright alright. I love you too! But this time you have to compensate by going on a horror ride with me okay?”

— “Ahahahahahaha what?”

— Endeavor had sponsored your trip and all expenses to ~try~ and start to mend his broken relationship with his son, although you refused at first, Toya did not. When he went to visit his mother and Enji was there to visit too, He got the money from him, ignored him, and flipped him off (aka gave him the bad finger) before leaving.

His three other siblings were in on this trip too. However, Toya wanted your trip to Universal Studios Japan between the two of you ONLY. His siblings went on a different day.

— He wasn’t the biggest fan of matching outfits or any accessories with you like any couple would and you didn’t want to pry on that. He really wasn’t the type of person to do that to begin with.

— And although on the inside he does feel a bit sorry about not being able to be cutesy with you it just really wasn’t his thing. 

The two of you would most probably make out in a secluded area in the Hogsmeade area that is barely noticed by any other park goers. How daring and how secsy

 ‘’Seriously? Snoopy and Hello Kitty? THIS is the area you want to go in first?’’

—‘’Come on! It’s not everyday you get to loosen up like this. Why not try out the kiddie rides first? Besides, I want to see how long you can last without taking the cuteness anymore.”

— The staff sees you enter the Snoopy and Woodstock ride and couldn’t help but ask a very imprudent question. “The two of you look like such a cute couple! I bet your child is just as precious!”

—“Excuse me… what?” You ask, your eyes widen. “We’re not-”

—“The kid is on it’s way. We’ll have one soon once we return here.” Toya says casually, sending you a flirtatious wink and you feel flushed and slightly embarrassed.

—“Jeeeeeeeeeez. Did you really have to say that?” You try to avoid contact with him so he wouldn’t see the embarrassment or rather the arousal present all over your face.

—“What? It’s true.” He smirks, taking your hand. “Do you not want anything to happen between us?” He teases again.

—“NO NO NO NO ITS NOT THAT.” You yelp in embarrassment, your eyes still cast down on the ground.

—You notice him kneeling down and before you could even react, instead of facing the ground, you were staring down at your boyfriend’s handsome face instead. 

—“Come on… I thought we were going to the Hello Kitty ride next?

— “Oh yeah right! That ahahaha let’s go!” You look up again before he could see your face looking like a tomato.

— You couldn’t help but be flustered by his words time and time again. This time though there was no point in hiding it. He got to you.

— He grabs you by the waist, and whispers into your ear, “Besides, I’m saving matching outfits with you once we bring our child here in the future. We would be the cutest fucking family out there.”

— You’ve already been dating for a year?? and your heart still flutters every time?? anything remotely romantic comes out of his mouth???

— HE WAS SUCH  FLIRT OH LORD AND YOU JUST SWOON AND FALL FOR HIM EVEN MORE 

— The other couples for some reason never thought of going on the cutesy rides, so as soon as they saw you and Toya going on them, the line for most of the rides got even longer.

— Toya might be lowkey an edgelord  but you guys became trendsetters in a span of an hour!! 

— OK BUT SPEAKING OF EDGELORD... DABI AS AN E-BOY HURRRRRRRRR YOU MAY OR MAY NOT BE MANIFESTING YOUR BOYFRIEND TO SUDDENLY BE IN E-BOY CLOTHES ON THE SPOT TOTALLY NOT NOPE NOPE NOPE NEVER 

— He still looked hot just wearing a plain dark hoodie but you still couldn’t get the thought of Toya wearing those fits out of your head.

— “Earth to (Y/N)? You’re spacing out again.” He waves a hand in front of your face and you snap back to reality. “We’ve rode every attraction here. I think we should go check out the other rides? The Jaws one next please. I can’t stand all this cute sparkly cuteness anymore.”

—  “AHAH! YOU FINALLY SNAPPED!” You laugh, acting as if you finally got back at Toya for making you such a blushing and stuttering mess just a few minutes ago. Dabi shrugs it off however. 

— “OKIE! Now that I got out of my system, let’s continue to go around shall we?” You huff and pace off to the next ride that you wanted to go on.

— Toya shakes his head and smirks, following you to wherever you were going to take him next. That didn’t stop him from teasing you every few minutes though.

— The two of you did come back to USJ, but only a few days later to accompany Shoto since Fuyumi and Natsuo had to take the train home due to having to attend important matters.

— The same park attendant who complimented you and Dabi was managing the Snoopy ride again. She recognizes the two of you instantly and waves. “Oooh! I didn’t think the two of you would come back again so early! Is this the cute child you were talking about?”

— You and Toya collectively facepalm whilst Shoto looks at the staff with a very puzzled look.

— Hopefully, the next time you come back, you finally have a happy family with Toya and you can finally show off to that sassy ol’ attendant that you have a cute little kid with you to go on rides with.

—This is officially your 7th date with Shinsou. 

— Although the two of you are already official, you can’t help but feel and notice how cold and distant he is to you still. As if he hasn’t exactly opened up to you.

—  And you didn’t want to end this day without seeing him loosen up and open his shell.

 —  You wanted a relationship with Shinsou in where the two of you could talk to each other about your own problems and help each other out. 

— That was the ideal relationship after all, and you knew for a fact that you could have something special like this with Shinsou. 

—  He did confess to you through a love poem and if that isn’t the most romantic thing ever, then I don’t know what is. 

—  You wanted to be his comfort person after all. Just as he is with you although I think he doesn’t know that yet exactly. 

—  “SOU-KUNNNN you know what else we can do?” 

—  “...What?”

—  “Let’s go on all the boring rides!!” You take his hand and start running to the next attraction. 

—  “T-that’s not actually a bad idea. Let’s go.” He mutters, albeit shy at the touch of your hands at first, he grows comfortable after a few minutes with your hand intertwined with his. 

—  SHINSOU IS SO TOUCH-STARVED AND YOU CAN’T WAIT TIL YOU GIVE HIM ALL THE HUGS AND KITHES IMAGINABLE LATER THAT NIGHT

— It was the middle of the afternoon and the park was less busier than usual, which meant all the time for you and Shinsou to try out every exhilarating ride the park had to offer. 

—  The only ones left were more performance-based attractions where you would be watching a live musical or play. One of those being a Terminator based ride. 

—  The concept of a Terminator live-action retelling was pretty cool but certainly not you or Shinsou’s cup of tea either. However, it was your goal with him to try out every ride in the park. So, eh why not?

—  The two of you sit in the front seat, making Shinsou within range of the stage actors to be affected by his quirk. 

—  “Don’t try to make them do anything bad okay?” You whisper to him. “This live show does look boring and really needs to liven up a little.

—  “I won’t do that of course. Let’s just make this show more entertaining.” 

— He then uses his quirk on the stage actors, making them do fun and entertaining dances. 

— The audience burst out into laughter as Shinsou had unintentionally made a twist to the musical playing before you. 

— “Of course not! You made that Terminator Musical much better! I bet they took notes and try to switch up the acting and the cheesiness for the next show!” 

— “Hopefully they will. Because the show was boring as hell.” He deadpans, putting his hands in his pockets. 

— Everyone in the theatre left in good spirits. 

— He stops in his tracks and looks at you. How lucky he was to have someone like you in his life.

— “Thank you for today too (Y/N). I really enjoy spending time with you like this.” He looks away, yet fails to hide his flustered face. 

— “You’re welcome!” You lean in and tiptoe to kiss him on the cheek. 

—  Despite how cold and straightforward he may be sometimes, you never complained. You accepted him for who he was and who he is. 

— The two of you take the train ride home in peace and solace knowing that slowly but surely, Shinsou becomes more and more comfortable with you and you can’t wait for the time he finally opens up and bears his heart to you. 

Thank you for reading ♡

-Fin 

#mha #bnha #mha x reader #bnha x reader #my hero academia x reader #midoriya x reader #izuku midoriya x reader #shoto todoroki x reader #deku x reader #boku no hero academia x reader #shinsou x reader #shinsou hitoshi x reader #shinsou hitoshi headcanons #deku headcanons #shoto todoroki headcanons #todoroki shouto x reader #shouto todoroki x reader #izuku midoriya headcanons #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugou #izuku midoriya #dabi x reader #toya todoroki x reader #dabi headcanons #eijiro kirishima x reader #denki kaminari x reader #kirishima x reader #kaminari x reader

[ff-imagines]

uhm this is embarrassing thing to request but,,,,,,, how bout u know,,,,,, nsfw alphabet/scenario/hcs with blobster. 👁️👄👁️. I'm sorry.

Boston lobster: nsfw alphabet

Minors dni xoxo

A - aftercare

Admittedly kinda sloppy, it doesn’t occur to him that he should probably check up on you till he’s like “oh shit humans need water” and he suddenly shoots up to grab some and come back to you lmao

If you explicitly ask you get no back talk from him, he just carries you where you need to be and makes sure you’re feeling alright.

Will be endlessly prideful if u say you can’t walk, express your soreness at your sanities risk bc he’ll bring it up for ages

B- body parts

Oh he’s got no shame to tell you he loves your ass and thighs. The type to walk by you and give you a tap on the ass while smirking to himself. Doesn't matter how much or how little you've got he’ll still ask at least once if he can fuck your thighs lmao

Does his height count? He loves how he towers over most humans and food souls alike, chances are he’s probably taller than you, and he really likes that. Sulks a bit if you’re actually taller than him lmao.

They aren’t his favourite part of him but I gotta talk about the antennae. They’re weirdly sensitive, pulling him makes him squeak, which ends with him chasing you or with him chasing you, take your pick. When he catches you he makes it his goal to find a weirdly sensitive part of your body and to tease that spot endlessly. Tickle fight ensues but it’s more like you’re suffering while he’s maniacally laughing above you.

C - cum

It’s thick as fuck and very salty, rip lmao

He likes to cum inside or on your thighs, look they’re very squishy and nice ok he can’t help it </3

He’s also obsessed with not only making you cum, but just… your cum. Amab or afab readers, he will delight in making you watch him swallow. Would also bring his hand up to make you taste yourself, grinning the whole damn way.

D - dirty secret

He’s really affected by scents. If you have a signature perfume or cologne you wear all the time it can make him unbearably horny, since the smell lingers on his sheets and on his clothes long after you’re gone.

E - experience

A fair amount, out of curiosity. Not too many times as he’s spent a lot of years in total isolation. His curiosity is a more recent development, he finds he likes the feeling but something is just missing from his hookups. Then he meets you and is like “ohhhh a relationship is what it was, damn.” Once he realizes that, and even a little bit before when he first starts noticing his internal unease, the hookups stop so he can figure out how to swallow his pride and try and ask a human out lmao

F - favorite position

He loves doggy style because it’s just so so easy to control you that way. He loves to pull you back by your arms, spearing inside you at a punishing pace.

He also would love if you were flexible enough to push into a mating press, getting right next to your ear, whispering about how close he is.

G - goofy

Surprisingly, yea! He’s actually pretty good at making fun of himself, he just doesn’t do it often and doesn’t like it when someone he’s not close to does it. He gives little teases here and there, it eases tension quite a lot.

H- hair

He doesn’t shave for shit lmao. Intense happy trail, intense amount of body hair over all, he actually prefers it that way.

He keeps the same energy with your body hair and will come out and tell you he kinda likes it if you don’t shave. Ultimately he doesn’t think on it too hard, it doesn’t bother him in the end, whatever you want, he wants too!

I- intimacy

He’s not so good at being truly intimate, it’s just not something he’s used to being. If you ever, by some miracle, convince him to let you top him, he’s actually a lot softer and it’s easier to let his feelings speak for him. He also discovers he likes getting dommed a lot but he won’t tell you that lmao

J- jerk off

Not too often, he’s either super busy or he could just find you and solve the problem in an even more satisfying way.

If he ever can’t, expect him to grab one of your shirts to press to his nose as he fists his cock, the feeling of being surrounded by you is enough to help him finish when he desperately needs it.

K- Kinks

Well, the scent thing ofc.

He’s really into risky sex, a true exhibitionist. He’s hot, you’re hot, who wouldn’t want to see you both put on a show? If it gets it into their heads that no matter how bad they want you, you belong to him, your place is right here, getting split apart on his cock, he’ll make sure the message gets across.

Huge breeding kink. Hates the idea of kids but really likes the idea of claiming your insides. He’d love to push you into the mattress and release as deep as he can go.

He’s into humiliation as well, let him tease you while calling you his sweet little whore, he'll make it worth your while.

He’d love if you let him tie you up, he’d probably get into doing fancy designs that accentuates your body in the best way. A pretty rope to tie up and dick down a pretty s/o.

Also I can’t look at his skin where he’s got that suit on and not know he’s got a daddy kink, I just can’t. He doesn’t care for anything other than the title, it’s more about power than anything else. Call him daddy in public and watch how fast you get taken to a more private area. Or, maybe a less than private area, if you’d let him.

He’s got a thing for size difference as well, he loves to loom over you, even if he isn’t actually bigger than you.

L- location

Anywhere, anytime. He’s a prideful bastard, he’ll show off his ability to get you drunk off his cock any way he can. Not only isn’t there a spot in your house he hasn’t fucked you on, there probably isn’t a place on your street either.

M- motivation

What really gets him going is seeing you when you're at your most confident. If you come to him beaming about winning an award, wearing an outfit you feel great in, even if you just say something cocky, it just makes him so proud and eager to share that confidence with you. He doesn’t want to break you down, he wants to prop you up! Tell him about how good you feel, he’ll make you feel even better <3

N- no

As much as he likes to show you off, he doesn’t actually like the thought of a third party joining in. He might be swayed if it’s someone he really trusts. He also doesn't like receiving humiliation, he’s much too prideful lmao

O- oral

Please suck him off, he’ll be kinda rough with you but he’ll be nicer if you ask. He prefers to be mean though lmao. He likes ordering you around on what to do when you’ve got his dick in your mouth, his words get more incoherent the closer he is, though.

He’s just as eager to give you head too, he treats you like a whole 7 course meal. He loves biting around your thighs before ever touching where you're desperate for him to.

P- pace

Oh he’s punishingly hard. Loves to have a fast steady pace then stop as deep as he can and roll his hips a bit to make sure you feel just how deep his dick is inside you.

There are rare days when he’s feeling soft, those days he’s slow and methodical, gripping into your hips to make sure you can’t wiggle to increase your own pleasure, he wants you to savour the high he gives you.

Q- quickies

Well, why not! So what if you’re in an alleyway near a busy street, and anyone can walk by and see you getting pounded? You’re feeling heated aren’t you? Don't kid yourself, just turn around and let him take care of you.

R- risk

He lives for it. If you’d let him he’d bounce you on his cock in a plainly public place, like a subway car.

It’s a big fantasy of his for someone who absolutely pines for you to flirt just a little too hard, you coming to him and letting him fuck your right in front of them. It fuels his pride beyond belief to show you off.

S- stamina

His refractory time is fairly low. Even if he...can? doesn't really mean he wants to. He prefers either one drawn out, long round where you’ve both been edged to the point of desperation, or a few quick rounds throughout the day.

T- toys

At first they kinda hurt his pride but then he’s like “wait I can strap them on a vibrator and just sit back and watch” and then he’s totally on board lmao.

Forcing you to sit on a chair with a vibrator he had the remote to, keeping you on the edge and smirking while you beg and snivel, having no actual plans to give into your pleading.

U- unfair

Oh fuck yea, strap in babes.

He loves loves to edge the fuck out of you, he’d drag it out for hours if you’d let him. Even better if he can tie you down so you can’t squirm away from what he’s giving you.

Overstimulation is just as exciting to him, but he actually loves it more on himself. Sometimes he’ll overstimulate himself on purpose by still continuing to buck into you even after he’s already cum, determined to chase a second high no matter how painful it feels.

V- volume

Loud groans, and he won’t stop talking. Loves to ask you questions when you’re clearly way too blissed out to answer in any sort of coherent way.

He gets a lot louder near his release, he loves to bite into your shoulder to try and muffle himself. If he decides to be bold and let you hear him, he grabs your jaw and brings his face right next to your ear. What a show off.

W- wild card

He kidnaps small items that remind him of you, not just things that smell like you. That one earring you always wear, a glove, a necklace, picks flowers that remind him of you for whatever reason, he might even go out of his way to buy things that remind him of you, keep them to himself for a while, then give it to you when he’s sure it smells enough like him. He gives your stuff back… eventually.

X- X Ray

Oh please… he spits, sweats, and bleeds big dick energy. I refuse to believe his dick isn’t big enough to make you nervous. Would have you sit on his lap and track a finger up your stomach to measure how deep his cock can go.

Y- yearning

He’s pretty likely to mold to your sexual drive. However often you need him, he’s at your beck and call. He likes to keep it closer to 2-3 times a week if he can.

Z- zzz

He doesn’t sleep all that easily at all, but it gets a little easier when he’s got you in his arms. Prefers to be big spoon, and as much as he hates getting overheated, he just can’t will himself to let go of you. It’s ironically one of the most peaceful sleeps he’s ever had.

#food fantasy #food fantasy x reader #ff boston lobster #ff boston lobster x reader

[sukiglycerin]

dolce (sweetly, softly, gently)

* pairing: accompanist/violinist!katsuki bakugou x violinist!reader (gender neutral!) ft kamijirou

* genre: fluff, kinda angst, enemies to lovers, classical musician au hehe

* words: 9.5k (holy crap, this was a rollercoaster to write)

* warnings: swearing bc not only does bakugou exist, he is a prominent character, brief viola/second violinist jokes (reader’s words not mine), poor rosins being dropped :(

* a/n: SO this is very late for @prettysetterbaby​‘s v-day collab!! pls check out all the other talented writers involved >< jj is an ANGEL for putting up with me being late T_T  there’s some violin terminology in here but it’s fine if you don’t understand it! more notes at the end aha

* playlist (spotify in source link): violin sonata no.9, op.47 in a major “kreutzer” (beethoven) ; liebesfreud (kriesler) ; violin partita no.3 in e major (bach) ; duo concertante for 2 violins no.3 in d-sharp major, op.57 (beriot) ; clair de lune (debussy) ; duo for 2 violins in d-major, op.67, no.2 (spohr) ; 24 caprices op.1, no.24 in a minor (paganini)

* synopsis: being a soloist is not made easy by your new accompanist, bakugou. you step on each other’s toes when playing - but that’s alright, he’s just a pianist. you’re separated in your two worlds of musical instruments, until one day, you’re not. bakugou traverses over realms like a simple string crossing, and there’s a lot more he’s brought with him.

a double stop in violin is a technique in which two notes are played simultaneously. played correctly, one violin playing two notes should sound like two violins playing separate notes. if your life was a violin, you only needed double stops to play it. you'd perfected the art of being alone, playing the parts of two in your sad solo sonata. you were so, so sure you could compose and play for the whole orchestra - a symphony that would surely please the audience.

you were wrong. after all, a double stop has its limits as well, impossible to play with an interval of larger than a tenth. you were content with your double stops and playing by yourself. this was how you won countless competitions - what good would changing anything be?

you were born a soloist, or that's what your parents would say. you never followed the crowd, sticking to your own mind and doing what was true to you. you never worked well in an orchestra setting (and who knew what would become of you if you ever landed in second violin!). thus, you became a soloist, determined to keep the spotlight on you. it was you and your perfection that kept the eyes of the audience transfixed; you were desperate to keep their focus enraptured by every slight movement of your bow, every shift in finger position on the fingerboard. you wanted them to follow every dynamic and tempo change like their life depended on it, feel their emotion spark the moment your bow pressed a string. you were the only one on stage, an entertainer and an artist to the audience. you brought joy and sorrow through key changes and wonder through glissandos and held suspense with every tremolo. the audience was yours for an entire piece, for a story, for a lifetime.

oh, and there was the accompanist. what was his name again? batsugou? bakugou. the last part was a joke, of course. you'd never forget the man who ruined your first recital overseas.

katsuki bakugou was quickly made your accompanist after the previous one quit last minute and schedule clashes between any other potential candidates rendered them unable to travel with you. no one in their right mind would've come along on a plane to play a piano accompaniment for you. indeed, bakugou was not in his right mind. his name was prominent locally, an orchestral prodigy with the gift of perfect pitch since the tender age of thirteen. he never ventured internationally, though given the chance multiple times to do so. you could never understand why he never took any of the opportunities. you'd jump at any chance of expanding your musical horizons and performing for a larger audience, so it frustrated you to see someone with such potential to throw away possibly beneficial opportunities. not that you really paid much attention to him, anyway. bakugou was a pianist, and you were a violinist. you only cared about competition, not those with blessings you could only dream of achieving.

the months leading to your recital, bakugou had gone quiet. well, you didn't know him personally, so it was news of him that had gone practically radio silent. he was no longer featured in news articles or even pinned on bulletin boards for upcoming recitals. there were no updates from him on social media, too. not that you really paid attention, anyway. he was a prodigy, gifted naturally with talent, and you were a violinist.

an ambitious violinist, at that. you had dreams to perform anywhere out of the stifling air of japan. even to fly a short distance to south korea would be amazing, because it meant you'd be outside of japan. you worked towards this goal tirelessly. you dreamed of stepping on a plane, violin case in your right hand and your dreams in another, to fly to another country and perform. you wished to see the talent beyond your own bubble and feel the music resonate in an auditorium in a different way than it did in japan.

one day, that dream was realized. your violin case in one hand and dreams in another, you boarded the plane flying out of japan full of hope and the faith that good days were coming. while yes, you didn't expect to step out of that plane with anyone but your old accompanist, momo, bakugou's presence comforted you in the foreign atmosphere. for the first ten minutes, he said not a word to you but made it a point to speak to everyone else he could in what seemed like very convincingly fluent english. 

to which you finally mustered up the courage to say, in japanese, "i thought you didn't travel internationally."

his japanese voice was a comforting sound. "i don't. this is my first time out of japan."

you stared at him like he just said he ate babies for breakfast (which seemed just as astronomically insane as him never stepping foot out of japan). 

"but-" you stuttered. "your english is so good?"

"only because you can't understand it." 

to be fair, he had a point. you could only say the basics, like, "hi," "how are you?", "i'm fine, and you?," and the ever-so useful, "do you speak japanese? my english is not good." he appeared to never use any of these phrases, so he was a god in english compared to you. 

it was a miracle you navigated out of the airport with your luggage in hand and a general idea of how to get to the hotel you'd booked. you're not going to talk about the events in the hotel, though. sharing a bed with bakugou was a whole different story that consisted of him complaining about your phone usage at eleven pm and you complaining about his lack of sufficient english skills to be able to get the right hotel room (which he'd retort by saying "at least i speak english!").

the path to your first international competition was rocky, so understandably by the day of the performance, your metaphorical feet were sore and you only had water on your metaphorical mind. that is to say, you hadn't practiced with bakugou once until the day before the performance. said rehearsal was cut short due to misunderstandings as a result of bakugou's apparent not-so-fluency in english. you felt bad for him at this point.

and then you were up on stage, violin in one hand, bow in the other, and arms full of your childhood aspirations. also, definitely not prepared enough. you glanced once at bakugou before beginning and he looked confident enough. the lesson you learned that day was that looks can be deceiving. 

something you could remember quite clearly was the way the spotlight shined on the varnish of your instrument as you held it, propped between your chin and shoulder. you focused on this shine before taking a deep breath, closing your eyes, and praying muscle memory would take over and you'd play the piece faithfully to the score.

you liked to think your playing was accurate. you, the soloist, were the main focus of the piece. the accompaniment made the piece richer and fuller, complementing the violin beautifully while keeping attention on said violin. the thing was, bakugou, like you, played like a soloist. 

the performance was like a fight, and sadly not the graceful kind you'd see in a ballet. it was gory and a nuance to the ears, melodic tinkling of the piano becoming tears of a soldier dying in combat. at parts, you clashed by overshadowing the other by playing too loudly. sometimes it was you, and sometimes it was bakugou. it was a merciless game of tag; bakugou would be running to keep up with your playing; once achieving so, you were forced to start chasing after him. you can't exactly remember if he played well, though. for certain, he was not in sync with you, but you were mainly too preoccupied with your own playing to pay attention to his. listening to the recording of the performance, you were unable to evaluate his quality of playing properly, and thus, he remained your accompanist even when you returned to japan. 

(actually, the biggest reason he stayed your accompanist was because of your classical musician friends' nagging. they were all in complete awe that the famous soloist, katsuki bakugou, had offered to be your accompanist, and begged for an autograph. of course, you declined.)

you figured that like you, bakugou was a soloist. he wasn't fit to assist your playing, far more suited to his own solos to entrance the audience with only his playing. being a soloist, he played like one too - that's simply how things worked. this understanding of him, though, still couldn't stop you from harbouring a small grudge against him for ruining your international debut.

and then there was the man himself, all standoffish and rough in words and persona. obscenities had no hesitation coming (thrust!) from his mouth. he yelled brashly and frequently and it astonished you that he was a classical musician, as most of your friends of the classical music profession were typically on the quiet, softer spoken side. those that were extroverts were optimistically so, in far contrast to bakugou, who you'd expect from looks alone to be playing in some heavy metal band. it was scary to hear his renditions of debussy's dreamy, serendipitous pieces when over your earbuds, he was yelling at some guy named "shitty hair" on his phone. you were curious how he looked recording the piece.

you didn't typically communicate, though. conversation, which only ever existed during rehearsal, was a question from you and a clipped grunt in response. there was nothing else to your relation; he played his part, and you played yours. sometimes you did this simultaneously, but it was as if you were playing two completely different things. performance, according to your friends, was now stilted. this was partially the reason you stopped listening to recorded performances. it wasn’t even like you’d ever derived pleasure from listening to them - you only nitpicked your mistakes.

your old accompanist, momo, on the other hand, was an absolute angel. she was kind, polite, and skilled on the piano, fingers dancing over the keys like a graceful ballet. you fit well with her; each performance was like a delightful conversation between friends, pleasant on the ears and twinkling with joy and laughter. with her, every performance felt like something resembling victory, even if it wasn’t a competition. to you, winning the audience’s gaze was enough. 

then again, you didn't feel that you could judge quite yet. momo was your accompanist for years, and you could barely remember how the two of you sounded when you first started out. bakugou had been your accompanist for mere months (though it did feel much, much longer considering how frustrating he could be). you couldn't understand why he became your accompanist at all. 

opposites. it was an accurate representation of your relationship with bakugou. he was a pianist, you weren't. he was a prodigy, you weren't. he was blessed with talent, you weren't. there was nothing to talk to him about, obviously, because of these dividing factors.

the longer you knew him, the more your disdain for the man grew. at rehearsals, it always felt like your performances were about him, him, and him. he was the star piano player, of course. he hadn't volunteered to be your accompanist as a sense of "stepping down"; no, no, rather, he was flaunting his piano playing with a violin playing in the background. he played perfectly. for a soloist.

as time passed, these frustrations with him became more and more apparent. you became acutely aware of how his performance would outshine your own, and it sickened you. slowly, the quality of your own performances took a nosedive. if the piece was originally pianissimo, you'd take it up to piano (then, if bakugou increased his volume, forte). if the tempo was andante and he was playing moderato, you'd play allegro. it was a competition at this point - instigated by him, of course. you were just upping the ante, even if it meant sacrificing your own artistry.

a lot of people warned you of what would happen, but you ignored them. the fierce competition you felt between you and bakugou caused your own downfall as a musician. slowly, gigs stopped trickling in, like a faucet being shut off. you blamed this on bakugou. ("i was international before him. now, i can barely get a gig in musutafu! why does everyone think he's so great?" you had fumed over the phone to jirou, your old roommate from university. she asked you if you had even listened to him play.)

you were scrambling for places to perform at this point. (“fire him,” the very unhelpful hagakure told you. you didn’t know what you were thinking when you asked her, a violist in a local orchestra. it wasn’t like she ever got a solo.) you’d seriously considered doing so, but came up empty when looking for another accompanist. online forums and friends’ connections could only do so much. they were all either unavailable during rehearsal schedules or inadequate in terms of adapting to the music given. 

“you need to try working together with him,” jirou advised you one day over the phone. 

“yeah, say that to yourself and kaminari,” you muttered bitterly under your breath. kaminari was a guitarist in jirou’s band who hadn’t quite gotten along with jirou well. jirou made fun of the lightning bolt streak in his hair. when you first met them, all they did was bicker day and night; now, according to the other guitarist, tokoyami, they still did this, though on a smaller scale. 

she heard you. “well,” jirou said, slightly ticked off, “we get along better now. because of communication. look- i’m not saying you need to be best friends with bakugou or anything, but you need to talk to him about what’s working and what’s not. respect him as another musician, y’know?” 

“i’ll… try,” you said begrudgingly. 

you heard a muffled yell from the other side of the call. “kaminari, you idiot!” jirou called, voice a bit far. “what did i tell you about plugging in the amp? i said not to-” she cut herself off. “sorry, y/n, i need to go now. kaminari’s back to his normal antics.” she sighed, but it sounded more endeared than irritated. the call ended. 

respect bakugou as another musician. you could do that. bakugou was only a pianist. you were a violinist. he was your accompanist. he was to support your playing. you’d forever be separated from him, doing your own thing. he, certainly, couldn’t understand the woes of being a violinist. not the intonation nor the techniques; you were sure that if you handed him a violin on the spot, he wouldn’t be able to even hold the bow properly. the notion of bakugou, piano prodigy, struggling to make a decent sound on the violin with a bow clenched in an ungainly grip deeply amused you. 

these thoughts kept your relationship with bakugou afloat and restrained you from strangling him every time he stepped a toe out of line during rehearsals. ploddingly, with as minimal communication as you could manage, you tried to play with bakugou together, as a duet rather than as two soloists playing simultaneously. you swallowed your pride to play accurately to the music, patiently explaining any qualms you had with bakugou’s playing. 

eventually, you found yourself building up your performances to the quality they had once been with momo. it was still far from the pristine playing that led you to an international invite - but it was an improvement, and that was all that mattered to you. innately, you were slightly ashamed of the thoughts that allowed you to keep working with bakugou. they were thoughts that told of your superiority to him, because he was playing piano for you. that’s all he was; an accompaniment to you. you told yourself that having these thoughts on the inside was better than fighting with bakugou. 

somehow, along the strings of notes slurred together and shifts of fingers from one spot on a string to the next, you found yourself experiencing a strange joy gliding your bow against the strings of your violin. the rich sound of your instrument, withering and blooming with every stroke of vibrato you performed, fulfilled you unlike how it ever had before. up until now, you’d been playing for the audience, rather than yourself. the melody reverberating in the hollow body of your violin was never for your own ears to enjoy, it was for the audience’s satisfaction and listening pleasure. for it was their own enjoyment that won you competition after competition, playing with a blank face. on some occasions, you’d open your eyes during the applause to see some audience members crying, which ultimately confused you. how you were able to draw emotions from them with your playing when the music was unable to render you anything but indifferent? 

you knew it in yourself, though, that the happiness you felt was hollow. delightful notes supposed to boast joy and love echoed in the rehearsal room, falling flat on your ears.

you were a soloist, though. you couldn’t let thoughts like these get to you. you could only play, for both your pride and your audience. these woes were for you to shoulder, on top of the violin you held between your chin and collarbone. 

“you’re here early,” bakugou commented one day, opening the door to your shared rehearsal room. tucked under one arm was his folder of sheet music. he caught you in the middle of practicing one of the pieces for a gig - liebesfreud, by fritz kreisler. 

it was true. the morning sun basked the window sill and laminate flooring, warming the particular spots it shone through. you’d arrived an hour or so early. pleased by the bright nature of the morning, you pulled up the blinds. typically, you ran late, arriving ten minutes after bakugou’s text of “you’re late again, idiot” with a coffee and a bagel in your hands. those mornings, you were really grateful for having a case with backpack straps. if you hadn’t the time to eat your bagel on the way to rehearsal, it was cold and hard by the time you had a lunch break.

thankfully, today was not one of those days. whether it was the sun or the title of the piece (“love’s joy,” how wonderful), you’d woken up and decided that today, you’d have a warm and soft bagel for breakfast. you had a coupon for a free coffee and surprisingly, the commute to rehearsals was more punctual than usual. thus, you arrived an hour early, a smile on your face as you opened the door. you opened your case with extra care and rosined your bow with extra zest, humming a tune you heard playing on the radio. bakugou would’ve had a heart attack had he saw you then.

you ignored his entrance, only peeping one eye open at the man and nodding your head toward the piano as you continued on with the piece. you allowed yourself to become immersed in the music, following the soft pace bakugou set in his playing. closing your eyes, you saw the audience before you and felt your fingers sliding and pressing the strings. time flew while playing the piece; you’d barely noticed that the piece was nearing its end, playing its familiar melody one last time before opening your eyes. a glance at the rosin dusted in between the bridge and fingerboard of your violin satisfied you, like salt on caramel. you surely played just as sweet, smooth and saccharine like the gooey texture of a caramel confection. you relished in the sunlight streaming through into the room, ignoring the shuffling of papers behind you (from bakugou, no doubt). that was how you should play.

“something’s off,” you blearily opened your eyes to the sound of bakugou’s gruff voice. he was frowning, eyebrows furrowed in a not atypical manner. 

“what,” you said flatly. “it sounded fine to me. i didn’t mess up or anything.”

“no,” he replied, deep in thought, crimson eyes darkening a shade. “we don’t have proper… emotion in the music.”

“huh?” you felt a comical question mark rising out of your head. “i played it perfectly to score. it conveys the composer’s emotions to a t,” you said, getting annoyed with the pianist. your grip tightened on your violin’s neck.

“well- yeah,” he gritted his teeth. “but what about your emotions?”

“who cares about my emotions?” you said. “all that matters is that my playing is perfect. the audience feels the emotions, not me.” why else had you been plucked into violin lessons when you were five? surely not for your own enjoyment.

“idiot, that’s definitely not how it is.”

“it’s just violin playing!” you snapped. “it’s not complicated with- with emotions! it’s the same as anything else!”

“you’re wrong,” bakugou coldly answered.

“what would you understand?” you seethed. “you’re just a damn pianist. you follow my lead.”

he ignored your remarks. “why do you play a fucking instrument, then? why bother to enter competitions or recitals?”

“to win, like any other normal person!”

he let out a clipped, exasperated breath. “fuckin’ explains it, then.” he didn’t elaborate. dismissing the topic, he said, “whatever. play the piece from the top. actually try to look at me this time, so we can stay together. put more emphasis on the downbeat at the start.”

“it’s not like you even heard me play the beginning,” you retorted, but made sure to accent that note even more during the replay. pianists. they always were on their high horses.

something you looked forward to every year was the valentine’s recital. the organizers, an old couple, had known you since you were a child, and thus developed a soft spot for you. you were a shoo-in for the event, relied on to learn the music on a short deadline. last year, you played preludio, from bach’s partita for violin no. 3. this year, though, the catch was weird.

“the letter says it’s a violin duet?” you said to jirou while video calling her. “i don’t have a violinist on hand, just a pianist. it’s not like bakugou can suddenly master violin.”

jirou looked at you with a surprised expression. “you don’t know?”

you stared back at her. “know what?”

“he plays violin, too.”

“huh?” you must’ve misheard her. 

she nodded. “he’s pretty good, too. have you not seen the videos?”

“videos?" your eyes widened as you soon realized the implications of bakugou harbouring an aptitude for violin. "i’ve… i’ve got to go.”

“he’s as good as you, y/n,” jirou said with a knowing smile. you were quick to press the hang up button. 

five seconds into teenage bakugou’s rendition of one of paganini’s caprices, you exited youtube.

the next day, you kicked open the door to the practice room. 

“you,” you pointed a finger at bakugou, who sat at the piano midway through a piece. 

“what is it now, dumbass? you’re late again.”

“shut up,” you grumbled. “that’s beside the point. you- you play violin?!”

he shrugged, not avoiding your piercing gaze. “i’ve dabbled in it, yes.”

you shut the door behind you. “and why did you never tell me?!”

“tch. you never asked, did you?”

“you’re my accompanist, i should know these things!”

“you know i play piano, and that’s enough,” bakugou said stubbornly. “i only play piano with you.”

“not anymore.” setting your violin case down, you shuffled through the pocket that held your sheet music. flipping out a packet of sheet music, you thrust it in bakugou’s direction. “here.”

he grabbed the sheets from you, skimming the title. “duo for two violins in…. fuck,” he muttered. “why didn’t you just say no? who even is this from?”

“valentine’s recital. the pay’s good, bakugou, and we need it.”

“you need it,” he mumbled bitterly, holding the sheets out for you. “i don’t.”

“it’s not like i’m happy about it either. since when were you a violinist?”

“since when was it any of your damn business?”

"you're supposed to be my pianist! not anything else!"

you didn’t understand how he could be so musically inclined. you blinked, and your sight smeared, blurring the sight of your feet with the laminate flooring. this wasn't right, you thought as you felt a telltale heat creeping up you. why were you crying now? 

if there was one thing you prided yourself on, it was your violin playing. it seemed to be the only thing you were good at as a child when academics and athletics failed you. sure, you hated it at first (as most children did when their parents forced them to do something), but as time went on, the applause of the audience and the title of "winner" rewarded you enough. you were no prodigy, so you worked endlessly every day to prove yourself worthy. you never understood how you'd worked so hard only to be in the shadows of others so naturally gifted who surely would never understand how much you practiced to become better.

when it came to bakugou, he was never supposed to be better. he was your pianist, talented in a completely different musical realm than your own, so he could never be superior to you - and now he wasn't. he never was. here you were for the past year or so, looking like a fool in bakugou's eyes. on the days you struggled so hard with fourth finger vibrato, he was probably laughing at your inadequacy at violin. as easily as he played the violin, katsuki bakugou played you like a fool.

everything collided when you stepped out of the room, leaving a particular golden haired boy alone to stare at the sheet music you tossed him. your head throbbed with the groggy sensation of almost-tears and anger coursed through your veins.

you couldn't back out of the recital now. you couldn't. 

you couldn't stand to look back into the vermillion eyes of katsuki bakugou now. even more so now, you couldn't.

your solution?

"hey, what's up?" jirou's collected voice filled your ear, your phone pressed to it. 

"hey, kyo, i… kind of did a bad thing," you said, feeling jittery as you sought a commute home. you'd already made up your mind that your sorry-ass wouldn't be able to look bakugou back in the face for the rest of the day.

"...again?" she asked, tone concealing a hint of surprise. "don't tell me it was with bakugou. don't you usually practice now?"

"...usually, yes…" you sheepishly shuffled your feet, standing outside on the sidewalk. "i'll be resuming it again, 'course, when i get home…"

"why aren't you with bakugou right now?"

"that's… that's a long story," you laughed nervously. 

"i can wait," jirou coolly replied. "kaminari got his foot stuck in his guitar case - don't ask - so i have time." 

you considered asking about kaminari, then thought better of it.

"you know about the valentine's day recital they have every year? well, this year…" you recounted the events that led you to now, standing outside on the phone with jirou.

"where are you going to find a violinist?"

a silence found itself opportune as jirou waited for an answer. "i'm, uh, not…?" you said, deflecting the question back to jirou.

"well, you can't play both parts in the duet, can you? actually, don't answer that. i know you'd try. didn't you try that one time in-"

"what's done in uni stays in uni," you hushed her before she could recall that one time you tried to play a sonata with a recording of yourself. "aren't you going to tell me to try to make amends with bakugou?" 

"no," she said thoughtfully after a pause. "you've tried before, and it's not working for you. i don't think you should be forced to do something you obviously don't want to do. i just think," she continued, "you need to find someone to do the duet with, if you don't want to work with bakugou. but objectively, he's your best bet."

as jirou always was, she was right. you thanked her for her advice not before hearing a distraught kaminari shouting for jirou in the background, and then she ended the call.

you repeated her words in your head once you got home, sliding your bow back and forth on your small block of worn rosin. the score for the duet was spread next to you on the floor. it wasn't that you didn't want to work with bakugou. or was it? had you been that selfish all along, sabotaging other performances because you didn't like him? if even jirou had noticed it, had bakugou noticed it too? 

your sigh let out a thousand burdens piled up in your mind, blowing air out like dust accumulating on your tribulations. you picked up your violin and bow thoughtlessly, testing out the strings and plucking a couple with your left hand. 

was it really only you with the contempt for working with bakugou? you'd assumed mutual hatred with him after your international debut, but had it really been so? had you been the only one picking fights during the time you'd worked together? as you backtracked, your fingers slipped into a familiar position. you began a piece you knew positively by heart, an absolute favorite of yours for years. you played mindlessly, serenading yourself with familiar notes and string fingerings as you thought long and hard about bakugou. how much shit had you given bakugou? he hardly complained, too, but why? why hadn't he quit after you'd been so ceaselessly difficult with him?

why were you so angry at bakugou, a gifted prodigy since childhood? the answer found itself as the composition descended into an array of complicated fingerings and string changes, sounding like an incoherent chaos somehow strung together by the music. you pretended you didn't know the answer.

it was much, much easier to leave bakugou as just a pianist. respectable in his own field, and incomparable to you. it was too good to be true, obviously. all your life, you played to win, and couldn't allow anyone else to surpass you. violin was about winning, winning, winning. how were you supposed to cope when all those hours of practice were easily overcome by someone with innate talent?

the piece eased your tension with a fermata, drawing out your vibrato to think. bakugou's perfection infuriated you, you concluded. knowing this, though, didn't help with anything. you almost screeched the last note as the composition came to an end, unsettled by thoughts of bakugou. you really couldn't stand him.

in an attempt to distract yourself from your dilemma, you decided to start practicing the recital composition. you pulled out an old portable music stand, bending the parts into place and stacking it up. carefully, you placed the sheets on the stand and skimmed over the music, bringing your violin up to your collarbone.

your eyes followed one measure ahead of what you were playing as you sight-read the piece. ahead, ahead, was all you could think as your fingers fumbled the notes, eyes moving from the score to the fingerboard. bakugou was far from your mind as you caught up to the music, too preoccupied with the sharps and flats you'd forgotten and the time you had to keep. you were busied by the shifts and the repeat signs in the music over anything else. your priority lay here for the time being, after all. the sight-reading was almost enough to make you forget you only play one half to a duet. there was still still an emptiness that lurked between the rests and the redundant beats that even your stilted practice couldn't mask. you tried not to worry about that, though. 

time floated by as you repeated the piece over and over, playing for accuracy first. it wasn't enough, but you pretended it was. the metronome on your phone ticked away like time, endless and impatient, until you couldn't stand it anymore and packed away your violin. 

the proceeding day was filled with more of the same practicing, working on tweaking hesitations and polishing up your playing. it was kind of convenient, practicing at home rather than waking up early to practice with bakugou. you missed the bagel the most. 

you were definitely not playing your best, and it was clear by the way your bow occasionally screeched and how you fumbled the fingerings when you were particularly negligent. the piece just didn't sound right without the second part. (bakugou was definitely not the second part missing. not at all.)

by the third day you gave up and admitted to yourself that yes, bakugou was the second part missing. you were only a little bit miserable buying your usual bagel and coffee and rushing to rehearsals fifteen minutes late, aware that you'd be unable to eat it before practice. you were substantially less miserable than how you were the day previous, practicing alone.

you weren't surprised to see bakugou already there, sitting on the piano bench and tightening his bow hairs. he acknowledged you with a grunt as you set down your breakfast and beverage. 

"showed up, huh?" he said finally, voice rough. he stood up, setting his sheet music on a stand. you stared at him, awed by his nonchalance. he picked up his violin and bow (which, by the way, looked super expensive) and propped his violin up by his chin. it felt so foreign to see him in position to play violin, fingers already expertly in first position and wrist beautifully curved, yet it inexplicably clicked. the scene in front of you looked like he'd done this everyday, as it was always supposed to have been, his back confidently straight. his fingers arched over the fingerboard and his bow appeared mathematically parallel to the bridge, held delicately between his fingers. you'd never carefully watched him play piano (probably due to your distaste to him and lack of knowledge about the percussion instrument), but he made the violin look like an instrument of the gods. he hesitated, though, bow moving a centimeter then back. he frowned at your idle silence and turned back to you. "well? are we doing this duet or not?" 

"oh," you reacted intelligently. "yeah. yeah." it kicked in what you were doing by the time you'd started tuning your violin, first bowing your a string. after tuning your violin (with the help of a tuning fork and none from the perfect-pitched bastard bakugou, who appeared to be watching you with a triumphant gleam in his eyes as you struggled to tune your violin properly), you set your sheet music next to bakugou's.

"ready?" you asked, as if you'd been the one waiting for bakugou all this time.

"ask yourself that," he snorted. "i'll do the count." 

you nodded.

"one, two, three, f-"

"wait, wait," you said, squinting at your music. "isn't it supposed to be a bit slower than that?"

"it says allegro," bakugou said, tapping his foot. "need an italian lesson? lively, briskly."

"i know what allegro means," you gritted. "seems too fast, when paired with dolce."

"maybe for you," he smirked.

you narrowed your eyes at him. "and that means what, exactly?"

he opened his mouth to reply some smug, smart-ass answer, but you stopped him. 

"nevermind," you said. "do the count again, at the same tempo. i can do it."

you were bluffing, of course. since when was allegro this fast? you wondered as the opening notes sped by you in a musical blur. already familiar with the melody, you messed up dynamics the most. of crescendos and diminuendos? it wasn't like bakugou would notice, too preoccupied with his part.

the ending of the piece took your breath away, storming toward you in a whirlwind. adrenaline filled your veins as you raced to the last measure of the music, overcome by the tempo and the music. this time, full of energy and exhilaration, the piece felt complete. your and bakugou's sound surrounded the two of you, overflowing the room with a saccharine melody. it felt right simply standing beside him playing a two part piece, chest heaving from the piece's energy. you could only hear your breathing, a gentle encore to your playing.

"your playing is sloppy," bakugou said bluntly. he leaned over to your sheet music, starting to point at dynamic markings.

you swatted his hand away before he could say a word. "yeah, well, i just got the music three days ago," you interjected.

"you also had two of the three days off, so i'd say you're not doing enough." he glanced back down at your score. he pointed at a measure. "this is a crescendo, moron, why didn't you get much louder?"

"just- pay attention to your own music!" you said. "besides, it's dolce. i can get away with playing softer."

"that wasn't very dolce to me," he argued. "nothing sweet, soft, or gentle about that," he mumbled.

"i can be sweet, soft, and gentle if i want to!" you retorted. 

he raised a brow, as if a challenge, scarlet eyes glinting in the light. "tch. i'm sure you can, but your playing damn can't."

“it can, too! listen,” you said, impetuously raising your violin and bow again. you slowly started to play a d major scale, impatiently scrunching your nose and squeezing your eyes shut to concentrate on making the music soft and gentle, tampering with different degrees of vibrato and bow pressure.

“... that’s just piano,” bakugou said, moving to you as you bowed an a. your bow came to an abrupt halt, making an unpleasant squeal, as bakugou positioned himself behind you. you felt his body warmth radiating behind you as a sweet, homely scent wafted around you. he brought his arms around you, hands overlapping where you held your violin and bow.

“you need to be,” he murmured into your ear, gentle tone almost slurring the words together, "fragile when you play dolce." he angled your bow slightly, moving your hand. "bow closer to the fingerboard." the smooth baritone of his voice resonated within you, becoming lost within the violinist's embrace.

"most of all," he said, dropping an octave to an intimate tone, "you need to feel it. you can attempt to play it, but without feeling, it's fuckin’ meaningless."

"feeling?" you repeated blankly. “the audience’s, you mean.”

he stepped away, a gesture that made you breathless, and shook his head. he crossed his arms over his chest, unintentionally accentuating their volume. “your damn feelings. what do you feel when playing the piece?”

there’s a pause for perhaps a second too long, as you mulled over different answers in your head.

“tch.” his eyes don’t leave you, gaze a laser burning into you. “‘s what i thought. why do you play violin?”

you held your tongue from answering my parents. “to win. i play to win,” you stated.

“and that’s the damn problem,” bakugou said, releasing a breath of frustrated air. “you win to play.”

“that means…?” you were starting to get impatient with the man, who seemed to be stalling and dragging out your limited time. 

“you win competitions to play more.” 

you almost scoffed, but his words were plausible. “what’s the purpose in playing more if not to win?”

he made a scratching noise in his throat, cool demeanor shifting to that of the bakugou you knew. “l-l-” he coughed, “love.”

“love?” you repeated, the word a surprise to swallow.

he nodded, gagging on his reply. you couldn’t see bakugou as the romantic type - the same bakugou who called all of his friends demeaning nicknames and could barely say the word love out loud. he was explosive, maybe, and talented, sure - but acquainted with love? you pursed your lips at the stuttering man trying to advise you.

“whatever,” he dismissed, voice oddly hoarse. “just play it from the top. fix the dynamics.”

weeks passed in a blur, though bakugou’s advice was left unforgotten. it had, for the most part, faded from your mind but lingered like a ghost in an abandoned attic, stirring up dust in complete silence. it was valid criticism on bakugou’s part, but the problem was that it was criticism you couldn’t digest. it was a ghost that you could not rid of, whispering and lurking until your music played over it. 

four weeks before the performance, you had the piece almost entirely memorized other than a few flukes here and there. you managed most of your dynamics, playing in sync with bakugou by your side. three weeks and the piece was mostly smooth, foregoing all sheet music and practicing in the middle of the room with bakugou tapping out the tempo on the honeyed floor. any mistakes were recovered from quickly, and you were pleased to say that the amount of bakugou’s slip-ups equated to yours. at two weeks, though, he brought up the pest bugging your mind. 

“play with more emotion,” he sighed exasperatedly, letting out a huff as you played for him. “start on f sharp again.”

you’d tried time and time again, but the longer you’d replayed the same few measures (followed by his criticism for the nth time), the only emotion you felt was frustration. your bow would push too hard or your vibrato would lay on thick, immensely irritating bakugou. you didn’t know why he even tried. 

the air felt stale and the lights shone obnoxiously bright. the pads of your left hand fingers had hardened by now, indented with a pair of parallel lines from your unforgiving violin strings. you inhaled rosin dust and occasional bow hairs miserably dropped to the floor. your arms were tired, sore, and sick of playing; your ears painfully endured the same tune again and again, the originally fluid and sweet notes becoming high frequency static. 

“i can’t do this.” you were tempted to flop onto the ground, hopelessness pouring over you.

“you can,” bakugou insisted stubbornly. “you just need to try harder.”

“harder?” you would’ve snapped (and you were surprised your e string didn’t already by the repetitive motions on it) if you weren’t so exhausted from rehearsing. 

he nodded like it was obvious. “try harder.”

you shakily inhaled, trying to smooth your voice over. “i’m sorry i can’t be a prodigy like you.”

he stiffened, tense to the point of trembling. “whatever,” and it was a strained word pulled from his mouth. it was very atypical for him to give up like this, but you didn't care. you avoided his eyes as you restarted the piece, unable to bloom anything from it.

outside of your rehearsal time, you practiced. arguably, your solo rehearsals were more rigorous. you forced yourself to add emotion to the piece, sometimes playing for jirou. she agreed with bakugou (though was a great deal less irritating), stating that your playing was somewhat hollow. (you restrained yourself from knocking on the instrument and saying that yes, indeed, violins were hollow.)

"how… how do you get any emotions from playing?" you asked jirou at one point, watching one of her band's rehearsals. they were on a break, chatting idly and taking sips from their water bottles.

“well…” jirou started, glancing back at her band members. “i think about the feelings i want the audience to feel because of my songs. i think about how the song makes me feel, then i put that into how i play.”

“how do you…” you shifted uncomfortably, “know what to feel?”

she looked at you, taken aback, but replied easily. “you don’t. it just… happens.”

her response was vastly different than what you’d been taught a child. emotions? sure, there was perhaps a time where playing evoked a feeling in you, plucked something melodical from your heartstrings. it was when you were a child, though, so it was irrational and erratic, an outburst in the middle of your otherwise level playing. your violin teacher didn’t approve when you’d follow how the music made you feel. she said it made you stray too far from the original piece and would make you lose competitions. no matter how you pushed back against her, her advice haunted you over and over every time you got anything other than first place. 

your performance is the audience, she’d told you. you didn’t understand what she meant at first, but she made sure you did while practicing for your next rehearsals. the audience, she quipped with thin lips under her sharp eyes, is everything. if the audience wasn’t satisfied, your performance was worthless, no matter how well you played technically. you play for them and you win - it was that plain. there was nothing more than you wanted but to win, at the time. you wanted a trophy, a medal, a certificate stating that you were better than most. it was palpable evidence that you were good enough - for your parents, your peers, anyone. like that, you practiced, a servant for approval. you weren’t a prodigy, but you sure as hell would try to play like one. her advice worked for over a decade, soundly racking you up with countless awards that filled your otherwise desolate self-esteem.

you didn’t say anything else to jirou about it, instead thinking about the bits and pieces of human feeling you could extract in between your piece’s accidentals and eighth notes. perhaps there was a possibility, through the phrases of notes and dynamic markings, you’d find a word that said love. a renewed interest sparked itself when jirou’s band continued their rehearsals, finding yourself to be a normal audience member (maybe even crying at the end. maybe).

you returned home to practice, practice, practice, coercing any hidden message in the music to vibrate in your violin and echo around your room. you watched other renditions of the piece to find something you were missing, but imitating them didn’t seem right. this continued for the following weeks, hiding any potential development from bakugou (or trying to, at least). you knew you’d be disappointing him if you failed after trying so hard. it was only safe to play what you knew, secure in the written parts of the composition and keeping it at that. 

by the time the performance came around, you were glad bakugou never found out about your secret efforts. if he had, you knew he’d be sorely dispirited by your lack of tangible progress, your sound just as hollow as the soundbox of your violin. you failed, you knew, and as crestfallen as you were on that cold february morning, the show must go on.

the performances were held in an auditorium, warm compared to the snowy wonderland outside. it was typically couples comprising the audience, all romantic and pepped up in the spirit of valentine's day (white day was no different). some arrived early, finding seats in the empty auditorium and chatting amongst themselves (or sometimes making out, which made you want to throw your violin at them and gag). bakugou’s and your performance was last; it quite the heavy honor to play the finale to the recital. 

backstage was a vast contrast to the hushed atmosphere settled over the assemblage. hovering over the staff and performers for the day was a sense of panic, hurry, and hecticness. bits of rosin were scattered on the ground where you prepared for your rehearsal, some belonging to your block and others not. your pack of extra strings lay next to you on the sofa you sat on, arm resting on the side of the seat. similar to your violin's strings, spun tightly over pegs to be kept in place, you felt high-strung. the buzz of energetic excitement flitted in your head, knee bumping up and down and jerking your violin in the same motion. it was hard to calm when you tuned your violin to absolute perfection, relying on bakugou's perfect pitch to do so. the fine tuners on the end of your strings probably hadn't had a harder time in the years you'd owned your violin.

"you're shaking the entire sofa, idiot," bakugou deadpanned next to you. “some of us are trying to rosin our bow, unlike you.” he glanced at the floor, where amber shards of rosin lay amidst white dust (also made of rosin). 

“to be fair, most of those aren’t mine,” you pointed out. you reached into your violin case, finding the rectangular case of rosin and opening the top. "mine's only chipped in a couple corners, and the rest is just worn on the edges from my bow."

you leaned over to look at bakugou's rosin, two stubs in its case. "and i'm the one dropping my rosin?"

his ears turned a deep red, matching the velvet curtains on stage. "that's different," he muttered, putting the lid on his rosin and putting it away. 

"you ready?" you watched him swallow before speaking, not looking at you. you could hear one of the presenters speaking, introducing the first piece to be played (an ever-so romantic rendition of clair de lune), but the voices felt distant and muffled over the sound of your own nervous heart beating.

"yeah," he replied. he turned to look at you, scarlet eyes meeting your own. "what, you're not scared now, are you, dumbass?"

you gulped. "no… just excited," you said. in truth, you felt disappointed in yourself for being unable to find any emotion in your playing - thinking about the piece, you were devoid of anything but the measures and the notes. what was the piece trying to say in the white space between staff lines? after the clef at the beginning of the music, where did the emotions start and everything else end?

quiet notes, twinkling from the piano on stage, met your ears. you took a deep breath. how did they make you feel? 

…not very good, because this pianist was certainly a beat or two off tempo. a large hand on your knee startled you out of your trance. its warmth was surprisingly comforting. you followed the arm connecting to the hand to meet bakugou's concentrated face, eyebrows furrowed and nose scrunched. 

"don't shake your knee like that. also, why are you so damn cold?" he moved his hand away, leaving an imprint of heat on your knee. you hadn't noticed the physical manifestation of your nerves prior to bakugou's words.

you left his question unanswered, staring at your violin in your lap. you traced the patterns in wood, fingers following the shape of the f-hole and thumbing circles on your chin rest. how were you supposed to be able to pull living, breathing life in the form of emotions from an inanimate object? what sorcery were you supposed to manage to satisfy yourself and the audience?

you thought back to bakugou's words. what was it had he said you were supposed to be playing for? love, the irrational and sentimental flaw of life - somehow expressed from the symbols on a sheet of paper and through strings on hollow wood. what sort of miracle was bakugou creating with his music?

what was violin, if not just a task to do everyday? what was it, out of competitions and tests of skill? what was the sound reverberating within its vacant body, recording every shift of fingers on the fingerboard?

you looked past your violin to the rosin on the floor. friction, your violin teacher had explained to you. you put rosin on your bow so it creates friction with the strings, and thus creates sound. it was strange how friction caused the smooth sound of a violin. too much friction, added by pressure on the bow, made a creaky sound on the strings. without rosin, the bow would be too smooth on the string and make no noise at all. the happy medium of not too much and not too little created the familiar rich tone on the strings.  

a happy medium, you mused. in between too much friction and none at all. maybe that was how you were supposed to feel, in between trying too hard and not trying at all. that's what feelings were in the end, right? a natural human instinct, spurred by life. could you breathe life into the music?

the stage seemed almost too big for the two of you, spotlights centering you on the wide, wooden platform. the crowd's eyes were on you and your fellow violinist, some watching with drooping eyelids. they felt far, distant under the shadows. even so, the question still besieged you - would you please them?

you teared your eyes away to bakugou, who started the count. everything was silent until he nodded to you, your cue to start the piece. it felt too fast when you began but it was the same allegro you’d been practicing with. muscle memory took control now, your fingers finding their places easily. 

your fingers and bow took all your attention. everything else fell away - the lights, the crowd, the stage - until it was just you, your violin, and the music. you could practically see the score in your head, playing the notes you'd come to know so well. 

you heard your music echo and resound off the walls, but that's all it seemed to do. it touched everyone in the room, looking for a place to stay, and diminished in an empty space alone. it frustrated you that it wouldn't resonate - where was the love bakugou had so told you of? this auditorium was no different than your room, where sounds bounced off walls and landed nowhere. you weren't reaching anywhere or anyone, lacking emotion and any true substance. 

love - what was love if not a hindrance? how could bakugou expect so much out of you? love - had you ever felt it for the violin? dolce told you to play sweetly, softly, and gently, but what was sweet about the violin? what was so sweet about the imprints of strings on your fingers, fragmented rosin at your feet, and bruises on your neck from long hours of practice? what was gentle about the arduous replaying of the same measure, the ringing in your ears after playing to master a simple phrase? what was soft about the forte that rang in your head, the fortissimo that filled a performance and clouded your senses?

dolce filled you like an epiphany, euphoric in your eyes that finally opened and awakened. dolce was in bakugou's eyes, soft velvet like the crimson curtains onstage, downcast at his violin. dolce was in his sound as his bow skittered near the fingerboard, in his fingers sliding back and forth on his a string. dolce was in his grasp of his bow and violin, in the very essence he played the violin with. dolce contradicted everything you knew, reminding you of bakugou's soft hands over yours, guiding your fingers and bow. dolce was the morning light streaming into the practice room as you argued with bakugou over tempos and notes, the light glinting on shattered shards of rosin as you anxiously rosined your bow. dolce was the curve of your violin scroll, the bend of your fingers over your bow's frog. dolce was the white space in between staff lines on your sheet music and through half and whole notes. dolce was everything in between the rough of your violin experience, the laughter and smiling gone forgotten during sleepless practice sessions and violin evaluations.

what was dolce, if not a rebellion? what was it, if not a rebellion from the years of work and pain you'd endured in the name of musicality? what was it, if not laughing in the face of your violin instructors and the strict score you adhered to? 

when you opened your eyes to meet bakugou's, whose carmine eyes dripped with a burning passion and the essence of souls, you finally felt. it was the so-sought over love, scorching every note and stroke of your bow and bursting life in every movement, breath, and echo of your performance. it was exhilarating, living through every slur and chord you played. when you finally met his eyes he understood, a satisfied smile tugging on his lips as his gaze never left yours. this was it - this was dolce, humming sweetly, softly, and gently in your ears and reflecting in the audience's heart. this was dolce, making you realize that you never wanted to play violin alone again.

you picked up a rose that had landed at your feet at the end of your piece, holding it next to bakugou's confused face. in doing so, you reached your second epiphany of the day - perhaps the more important of the two. bakugou's eyes bloomed redder than the rose, deeper than the lowest note on a double bass, and maybe it was he that was the true dolce you were looking for.

notes!!

if you’re reading this, congrats !! this is my longest fic on my account (the record will be broken soon), so i really appreciate you reading this :> (spare a reblog, perhaps?)

first, explaining the playlist:

beethoven’s kreutzer - this was played in the anime, “your lie in april,” and i simply think it fits the “fight” reader and bakugou have. this was played at reader’s first international recital that did not go so well.

kreisler’s liebesfreud (love’s joy) is in the same series as his piece called liebesleid (love’s sorrow), also featured in “your lie in april.” i personally really like the piece. of all of these listed, i think you should listen to this one the most.

beriot’s duo concertante was the other contender for reader and bakugou’s duet piece! 

debussy’s clair de lune is simply a favorite of mine. it’s the first piece played at the valentine’s performance (and i like to imagine reader’s listened to bakugou’s recording of the piece)

spohr’s duo for 2 violins is the piece reader and bakugou play! it’s the second part of the duo in allegro, and i once tried to listen to it while following the sheet music. i was so��confused every time i did so; i’d get lost and such, and figured my musicality was declining. nope. i was reading the wrong part. so, i started freaking out because oh god the dolce is in the first part, not the second, and thankfully, there’s a bit of dolce in the second part too! however, it did take me a while to decide whether to use the first part instead.

also, spohr invented the chinrest on the violin! crazy :D

paginini’s 24th caprice is considered the hardest out of all 24 caprices. imagine,,, teenage bakugou playing this,,, doing the left hand pizz and all T^T pain

there’s a lot i wish i could cover in this! a lot of reader’s own flaws (ahem, viola jokes) and development were something i couldn’t cover. bakugou’s arc as well! he had an arc a bit before this story takes place :)) tl;dr i’m very tempted to pick my violin up again and start playing

the frog of the bow does not, sadly, go ribbit. it’s the part violinists hold the bow by!

thank you for reading! i hope you enjoyed this :)

#bakugou x reader #bnha x reader #bakugou fluff #bnha fluff #katsuki bakugou x reader #bnha x gender neutral reader #bakugou angst #bnha angst #luna's writing #violinist bakugou

[depressing-debbie]

Hey, I was wondering if I could get fluff alphabet headcanons for Erwin please?

Of course!! 

Look at me! Posting twice in one day!! If anyone has any requests lmk bc I actually have motivation I guess!

Fluff Alphabet: Erwin

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

He’s a big fan of both the traditional romantic dates, as well as more creative, personal dates. I think he’d want to go for a nice walk, tour a museum, or maybe go to the library/bookstore, or for a special occasion, a really fancy dinner with candles and everything.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

In terms of a physical feature, he would probably first notice his s/o’s eyes because he makes intense eye contact, and because he thinks you can tell a lot about a person from their eyes. But in general, he admires their spirit, and he thinks they’re absolutely stunning when they’re passionate about something, or when they’re focusing hard.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

He’s amazing at comforting his s/o, largely because he just knows them so well. He would be able to read what they’re feeling and know when they’re upset, first of all. He would probably put on their favorite movie or music, grab a giant blanket, and sit with them. If they want to talk, he has really insightful advice. If not, he’s content to just wrap his arms around them and physically comfort them. (which always works, by the way, because just try to name a single person who wouldn’t feel better after a hug from Erwin)

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

This man absolutely pictures the most simple, “boring” future with a nice house and a family, with family vacations and yardwork on Sundays. The idea of stability and calmness appeals to him so strongly, and even though he’d be content with just about any future that his s/o is involved in, that’s his dream.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

They’re equal when it comes down to anything important, but I think he’d lean towards being the more dominant person in the relationship. He’s a traditional guy, and unless it bothered his s/o at all, I think it’d make him happy to be the one to pay for dinner or make date night plans, that sort of thing. But again, they’re equal everywhere it actually matters.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

Fights don’t happen often, but they can be a little bit intense when they do. If they’re arguing about something small, he’s immediately looking for some kind of easy compromise, which he’s excellent at. They only really fight over things that are especially serious. He’s too smart for his own good and he’s got impressive arguing skills, but he’s never setting out to hurt his s/o, just explain his perspective. Arguments can be heated, but they never last long, and again, they’re not common.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

I’m not the first person to point out that Erwin has a lot of self doubt, and his reputation has sort of brainwashed him into believing that he’s not deserving of good things. Because of that, their relationship surprises him all the time, and every day, he expresses to his s/o how much he appreciates them.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

He’s completely honest and open with his s/o. There’s no reason for him to lie, he wouldn’t want to hide anything from them. And on the off chance he screws something up, he would rather work through it with them beside him then hide and deal with it on his own. 

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

Like I said, he has big issues with his image and self worth. His s/o and their relationship are slowly helping him to recognize that he does deserve to be happy, and they help him to become more optimistic (whether they realize it or not). On the other hand, I think he would be committed to helping his s/o recognize their own worth and importance in return.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

He’s not a jealous person in general, although he does get a bit protective. The only time he would interfere is if he can tell his s/o is uncomfortable or annoyed, in which case he’s more than willing to step in and scare the person off. But again, that’s more out of concern for his s/o than actual jealousy.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Just look at that man and tell me you don’t think he was a good kisser. Probably a bit more reserved, especially for their first kiss, but still surprisingly passionate? Like he’s trying to physically portray how much he cares about them, if that makes sense. 

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

He definitely thought about it for a little while before hand, not because he was nervous or unsure, but because he wanted to make sure he said it in a meaningful way. He definitely set up a special little date, like a picnic or a dinner, and even prepared a short little romantic speech, and it was very sweet. 

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

He would LOVE to get married. If that’s not what his s/o wants, that’s perfectly fine, and he’d be happy to find a different way to express their commitment. But marriage sort of feeds into his idea of that perfect, stable future, and besides, he would jump on the opportunity to show his s/o how much he appreciates and cares about them. He’d come up with the most romantic, slightly elaborate proposal, probably not something public, but very grand. And of course, not much would change once they were married, but he would relish in that perceived sense of routine and stability.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Again, being the traditional guy he is, he’s big on traditional, slightly old fashioned nicknames. Mainly, it would be “angel”, but also “darling” or “love” (it’s very sweet).

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

He’s pretty reserved about his feelings publicly, so it wouldn’t be obvious to outside people. People close to him might notice that he becomes a bit more optimistic and laughs a bit louder. With his s/o, however, he’s totally transparent, and he tells them over and over how much he loves them. Not that he has to, of course, because his body language makes it pretty obvious to them as well.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

Definitely not big on PDA. He’s upfront about their relationship as long as his s/o agrees, it’s not something that he would want to hide. He’s fine holding their hand in public or wrapping an arm around them, but not really anything more obvious.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that's beneficial in a relationship.

He’s a surprisingly good dancer? Like, ballroom dancing. When one of them has had a stressful day, they put on old music and slow dance in the kitchen (it’s so romantic).

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

He’s so romantic!! If you haven’t already figured it out, I really think he would like some of the traditional cliche romantic gestures, like roses or a candlelit dinner. But he’s also really creative, and he’d plan gestures that relate to his s/o’s interests and such. 

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

He absolutely supports his s/o in anything they do, and he believes in them probably more than anyone else. He knows they will succeed in anything they put their mind to, and he takes it upon himself to offer help and support, doing whatever he can to help them reach their goals. It makes him actually really happy to see them setting big goals because it shows that they are choosing to believe in themselves, and because he loves seeing that they are passionate.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

He’s more a routine kind of person, he likes the stability and comfort in some level of repetition. With that being said, he’s also definitely open to being adventurous, so like trying new restaurants or traveling together, so it would probably be a mix of both.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

He’s incredibly understanding, he just knows his s/o so well. Erwin has very strong observational skills, and he learns pretty quickly how to read their emotions. He does sometimes have trouble relating to their issues, but he will always sympathize and comfort them, even if he can’t understand it. 

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

His relationship is really important to him. Obviously, he’s pretty work oriented, so there genuinely might be some issues there if the two start to clash. But he also actively prevents that from happening, making time for both because he cares about his s/o SO much.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

He really likes watching documentaries with his s/o. Learning about something new and interesting, and being able to share that experience between the two of them, makes him happy. And when he gets really into the topic, his s/o can see the excitement on his face, which is really cute.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

He comes across a bit cold in general, but he’s actually very affectionate with his s/o. Especially when he’s stressed or upset, he just wants to curl up with them and forget about outside pressures. I also very specifically think that giving his s/o a quick little kiss would be part of his morning routine before they part for the day.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

He misses them when they’re gone for a while, but he just throws himself into his work until they’re back, which he doesn’t mind at all. He’s busy, and his s/o probably is as well, so it’s unfortunately not unusual for them to go a little while without seeing each other. They always make up for it with an extra special date night afterwards, though.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

He’s a strategist at heart, so of course he’d be willing to put in the effort and come up with ideas on how to keep their relationship strong. I wouldn’t be surprised if he comes up with literal written plans when it seems like they’re a little out of whack.

#attack on titan headcanons #attack on titan #aot headcanons #aot #shingeki no kyojin headcanons #shingeki no kyojin #snk headcanons #snk #Erwin Smith #commander erwin #erwin headcanons #erwin smith headcanons #erwin fluff #Eruri #fluff alphabet

[lovetenya]

✧ 𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐲𝐚 𝐢𝐢𝐝𝐚’𝐬 𝐬𝐟𝐰 𝐚𝐥𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐭

warnings: none.

word count: 3k 

author’s note: this constantly switches between you and tenya dating at UA and typical married domestic life. i’m writing this during my break from my color series. i’m still writing it, and still going to finish it, don’t worry. also, if this is your alphabet prompt, i’m sorry for not crediting you! i don’t remember where this is from!

A - Attractive (What do they find most attractive in a person and about you?)

personality-wise, i think tenya would gravitate toward someone that is intuitive, trustworthy, and kind-hearted. 

someone who isn’t going to tease about the things that hurt him, or question the things he holds nearest to his heart.

someone who would patch him up after a long day, help him with his arm, and hold his face in their hands.

someone who knows when to push, and when to release.

when to prod him with questions, encouraging him to share more, but not arguing and making him feel ashamed for his ambitions.

someone who will be gentle with him, and respect that he is a hero for all the right reasons and does it because he has to

i’m not doing physical appearance because it REALLY bothers me when people hc characters with a certain type.

to me, it feels like it’s made with the intention to leave people out, but...

do whatever you want, i guess. 

B - Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why Not? How big?)

tenya definitely wants a family

i think he would have 4-6 kids, to keep it even have a big, strong family

he grew up with siblings and loves them to death, so it only fits that he would want the same thing for his kids

but he wouldn’t pressure his kids into being heroes or into doing anything related to hero work, because he can understand how intimidating and suffocating that expectation is 

it scares him to think that he could get killed by a villain and have to leave them behind, but he does his best every day so that he can come home to you and all the little iidas

C - Cuddle (Do they like to cuddle? How do they like to cuddle most?)

honestly? i’m not really sure that tenya would like cuddling that much at first, but i think he’d do it for his significant other and it would grow on him.

i don’t feel like he’d be very cuddly or overly affectionate physically, but would do it to comfort and care for you.

i do think that he likes to hold you and keep you safe in his arms, so i do think that if you were gonna cuddle, he’d hold you close to his chest and wrap his arms around you so that he can press kisses to ur forehead (awww <3)

or he’d be the big spoon :>

don’t even kid yourself trying to be the big spoon, although he’s only 5′10″ i know that if you’re reading this you are NOT taller than him. don’t lie to me.

D - Date (Ideal date?)

tenya’s ideal date would be a quiet date away from others, maybe in a library for a study date.

OR A BOOKSTORE AND A COFFEE SHOP 

oh my gosh and he’d carry your books while you keep walking around and looking at other ones 

E - Energetic (How energetic are they?)

he’s up early for work, but comes home tired. he tries to stay up to talk after dinner, but as the days get longer, his energy wavers more.

i think he’s use to being up for long periods of time, but if he can relax, i think he’ll take that chance to fall asleep on the couch next to you.

F - Fight (How are they in a fight?)

if you’re fighting, he’s wants it to be fixed. he’s not interested in dramatics, or spite, or pettiness.

if he did something wrong, you know he’ll apologize profusely and try his best to give you space, if you need it. if not, he’ll comfort you and reassure you that he didn’t mean it that way, or that he didn’t think before he said it.

if you did something wrong, an apology will help. though sometimes the words hurt more than he’d like to admit, he believes you when you tell him that you’re sorry, and he’s willing to move on from it.  

i don’t think there would ever be a real, blown up fight, because he’s not one to overreact. yes, there will be arguments on whether he’s being taken advantage of by the agency (he is) and he’ll assert that he doesn’t care, because it isn’t about him anyway.

G - Gifts (How do they feel about gifts? How do they give them?)

he doesn’t really see the reason for receiving gifts, because he isn’t materialistic in the slightest. he’d rather you give him your all and your love than a tangible gift, but he won’t refuse anything

that’s rude

he grew up with everything he needed, so he never developed emotional attachment to items, but he loves giving them to other people and seeing how his small generosity can cause so much happiness in others

he’s definitely a meaningful and thoughtful gift giver, and puts a lot of effort into it to make sure it’s perfect 

H - Honesty (How honest are they? Do they keep secrets?)

he’s incredibly honest, but will sometimes downplay his physical pain so that you don’t worry about him 

he’s not going to lie and say “it doesn’t hurt at all!” but i can definitely see him acting tough and saying “it was just a scratch” when he actually got stabbed or something HAHA

(i hate when people only characterize him in relation to his family and how he has a heightened sense of honor, because that’s only a part of who he is. he’s not honest or heroic just because of his family, he does it because it’s the right thing to do. by making honor his only personality trait, you’re kind of playing into a false stereotype, and i’m not gonna call you what i want to call you, just know that your bad writing in your simplification of the culture as a whole is genuinely annoying to me in that aspect)

...

moving on

he doesn’t have any reason to keep secrets from his significant other. he wants to be able to trust you with anything and have you trust him right back, so he’s an open book for you.

if you ask him, he will tell you, regardless of what the question is

I - Injury (How do they react if you get injured?)

IT DEPENDS HOW IT HAPPENED

if you hurt yourself around the house and it wasn’t serious, he’d make sure you were okay and then laugh, saying “you should really be more careful.”

but if it was serious, (say, villain related?) 

J - Jealousy (Are they the jealous type? How do they deal with it?)

he’s not the jealous type, because he isn’t insecure and trusts you too much to suspect anything like cheating

i think if you were trying to make him jealous, he’d ask why you were doing that when you knew he’d give you affection whenever you want. he’s just confused.

K - Kiss (Their favorite way to kiss you?)

his favorite way to kiss you is away from others. pda isn’t his thing.

iida knows his strength, so he’s gentle.

he’ll lift your chin with his hand and press soft kisses to your lips and cheeks

or he’ll hold your face in both of his hands and bring you real close

(you can put your hands on his chest)

(he likes it)

L - Love Confession (How did they confess their love?)

he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable so he tried to be as respectful as possible

i think uraraka and midoriya would scout and interrogate you to see if you like him first

“WHAT’S HIS FAVORITE COLOR, Y/N? DO YOU KNOW?”

as if that’s an indicator

i think he’d give you a letter confessing because he was afraid his presence would be too intimidating for you to give a real answer

it would be very sweet and to the point

M - Mean (What are they like when they’re mean? Is it common?)

when he’s mean, it’s because he feels like he’s not meeting expectations or fulfilling his goals and he gets frustrated

it really isn’t about you but your distractions certainly aren’t helping his focus

i don’t think he’d full on yell at you, he’d just get pissy and ask you to “please let me get my work done”

it’s not really common, because he’s not usually behind on his work

N - Nicknames (Do they have nicknames for you? What are their favorites for them?)

i can’t see him do any of the goofy or overly affectionate ones like.. baby or something

probably just sweetheart, darling, my love, etc. or your first name bc even that feels like a lot to him

??? i don’t really know what he’d call you

but i think it’s cute to call him tenya, ten, honey, baby, etc.

he needs to be taken care of so just anything sweet and i think he’d be flustered

and ingenium (because it would annoy him HAHA)

O - Open (How long did it take for them to open up to you?)

i think that he’d hold back for the most part until he’s sure you’re serious about him and you’re not going to make fun of him for his deepest feelings

if he’s dating you, he expects that he’s able to trust you, so i think he would be relatively easy in opening up to you

P - Proposal (How would they propose? Would they propose at all?)

WOOOOOOOO

he would propose. duh.

he would plan it months in advance and have the perfect ring picked out for you, but he could barely wait to propose

i don’t think he’d propose on a dating anniversary, because that day is supposed to be special on its own, and he doesn’t want to take away from that

i think he’d take you out to dinner, and have the ring in his pocket, but wait until you got home to propose so that everyone in the restaurant wouldn’t make a scene about it 

you’re confused when he holds two items behind his back and asks you to choose which one you wanted first

he’s not usually playful like this, but you play along

you pick the ring first, and he suggests that you pick the other one

it’s three roses (that means “i love you”)

shameless self promo... i talked about that in another one where tensei says that iida should get you that for valentine’s day, finally tenya listened

and then when you ask “what’s in the other hand?” 

he gets down on one knee

congrats, honey <3

Q - Quiet (What are quiet moments like with them?)

i have a draft on this waiting for me to work on it, but sure i’ll give you something

quiet moments with tenya are comfortable. 

sitting under a blanket together on the couch while he types away at his laptop

the look on his face when you take the first bite of dinner together, and he was nervous to try the new recipe, but you were sure it’d be okay

how he always, always, waits for you to finish eating before he gets up to start cleaning up dinner

(he’ll compliment your cooking even if you think it turned out awful)

(even if it did, he doesn’t know how to use a potato peeler, so he can’t really say much in that department)

the quiet moments of intimacy where he hands you a jar of spices that comes next on the recipe

or where he tucks your hair behind your ear

or bends down to tire your shoe for you

R - Rainy Day (What are they like in the rain?)

he holds the umbrella with his left hand and your hand in his right

makes sure you don’t get wet, and tries not to let his glasses get wet

tenya would kiss you in the rain, but under the eave of a building or an overhang where he can do it the right way.

S - Sad (How do they handle their sadness? How do they react to yours?)

he handles his sadness by writing in a journal or he likes reading books from his younger days to make him feel better

he bottles his emotions, but not because he wants to, he just accidentally neglects his emotions because he’s too busy with other things

i think he would talk to you about it if you asked, but he wouldn’t bring up his emotions 

if it was you?

he would react very kindly to your sadness, and he would try to be as comforting as possible without forcing you to talk about it

but of course he’d listen if you wanted to, and offer his support and advice if you wanted it

he would drop everything for you, putting his pen down the moment he sees your eyes brimming with tears

and he’d pull you to his chest and whisper words of adoration and hold you until you feel better <3

T - Time (How long did it take for you to get together?)

maybe like three months to start dating while the two of you were at UA, just because he wanted to make sure you were interested in him before he came on too strong 

he would ask you to be his sparring partner just so that he could compliment you <3 

he’d let you win that day, but would NEVER admit that regardless of how long you’ve been together/married

he just says that you bested him that day, so he’s been the best for you ever since

damn, that was cheesy, tenya. 

love is super gross 

moving on

U - Unique (What’s an interesting thing about them that not a lot of people know about?)

i can either go super angsty with this one or just go normal

hm. i’ll spare you.

not a lot of people know that tenya plays the piano!

he learned when he was young because his parents insisted it would make him more well-rounded, but he quit taking lessons early on and just taught himself from then on

he likes the predictability of music, and how really it’s just a pattern if you think about it, it’s just where to and where not to play

someone requested that i write the angst version, and you can find it here !

V - Value (What are some of the things they value most in life? value most about you?)

he values respect, integrity, and dedication. 

he cares that you respect him and everything he works for, but encourages you to let him know if you ever notice a hint of self-interest in his hero work

he doesn’t want to ever become a corrupt hero and lost his integrity

he values your honesty and your ability to make everything more fun

he finds fun in quiet, intimate moments, but he loves how you still find him in the loud, chaotic moments, and make sure he’s okay.

he also values the fact that you’re so understanding of how important hero work is to him, and how he has to put his life on the line.

you know that he has to stay at the agency or on patrol late sometimes, but you’d never ask him to stop, because you know he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if someone was left unprotected because he was home

W - Wildcard (random fluff headcanon)

i don’t know i saved this one for last

i just wrote 25 others though, why don’t you read those?

kidding...

tenya loves dad jokes because they’re meant to be taken literally and he loves seeing the disappointed look on your face 

“honey, do you want to help me with dinner? i’m hungry.”

“hi, hungry, i’m tenya iida, also known as in-”

“STOP”

“it’s always lovely to meet my admirers! i hope to inspire many great heroes!”

but he hates puns and will sigh deeply without laughing at all 

“that was awful, y/n.”

“HAHAHA”

X - XO (Are they affectionate with hugs and kisses? If not, are they in other ways?)

at ua, he’s not really affectionate with hugs and kisses yet

he’ll show affection by patiently going over that stubborn math problem again and not getting upset when you ask him to repeat the formula again

or he’ll remember to ask you about the plotline in the book you’re reading or how your favorite show is going

and he’ll offer to buy your lunch or bring you a special snack from his secret supply in his room :)

as your relationship progresses, he’s more physically affectionate behind closed doors, but it’s not a common thing and he isn’t clingy about it 

when you’re married, he’s also affectionate in other ways, like he’ll do meal prep for you to make dinner easier for you to make, because he knows it’s hard to wait for him to get home and eat so late

or he’ll do that laundry you’ve been too busy to get to

he’ll go all out every once in a while, but he knows making life a little easier and a little sweeter sometimes sticks with you 

Y - Yearn (How do they deal with yearning?)

he didn’t yearn for you for long at UA, because he just... realized he had a crush and then decided to pursue you, but i’m sure it was hard to get over the initial “oh, shoot” of realizing he has a crush when he’s at UA to become the best hero he can be

he feels his love for you more intensely than he’s ever felt love before, and he’s not exactly sure what to do with your name constantly plaguing his mind. 

i think he’d work a little harder in school and in training because he wants so badly to have a good, long life with you, and for everything to be perfect

he’ll get what he wants, because he works hard for it, and you’re willing to support his dreams

Z - Zen (What makes them calm?)

quiet evenings, quilts, candles, cooking together, soft music playing in the backgroud, looking at photos from your wedding, daydreaming about your future together, reading, and coming home to you after a long day.

✧ hope you liked this! it was super fun to write and it was cool to think about tenya in all of these different ways.

love, tj 🦢

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