#and he’s obsessive and treats me like dog shit but this is our love story 💕 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bonky-n-steeb · 3 years

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𝐵𝑅𝐸𝐴𝑇𝐻𝐸

𝙿𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝚃𝙷𝚁𝙴𝙴

𝘿𝘼𝙍𝙆!𝘽𝙐𝘾𝙆𝙔 𝘽𝘼𝙍𝙉𝙀𝙎 𝙭 𝙍𝙀𝘼𝘿𝙀𝙍 | 𝙈𝙊𝘽!𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙑𝙀 𝙍𝙊𝙂𝙀𝙍𝙎 𝙓 𝙍𝙀𝘼𝘿𝙀𝙍

𝗦𝗨𝗠𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗬: Your life is as good as it gets. The perfect husband, the perfect daughter, the perfect job. But what you are unaware is that your husband is a deadly assassin and your long-lost friend, now a fearsome mob boss is hell bent on getting you back. But what you don’t know can't hurt you, right?

𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦: psychological disorder, PTSD, domestic abuse, yandere, obsession, violence, cursing. If you find any of this triggering please DNI. Also inform me if I left something out.

ᴛʜɪs ɪs ɴᴏᴛ ʙᴇᴛᴀ ʀᴇᴀᴅ, sᴏ ᴀʟʟ ᴍɪsᴛᴀᴋᴇs ᴀʀᴇ ᴍʏ ᴏᴡɴ

My previous account was deleted so I’ll be posting the stories again. I’ll be changing this one, so yeah.

Inform me if y’all wanna be tagged!

As the Winter Soldier entered the house, his instincts kicked in. The house was too quiet for his liking. He kept the bags on the sofa and started climbing up the stairs towards your bedroom. Oh, how much he loved you. You had never left his side, not when he lost his arm, not when the guilt became too much to live with and he cried his eyes out near you while you said sweet nothings into his ears. He wanted to keep you by side always, he wasn’t ever letting you go. Soon he was going to ask you to leave your job and stay at home looking after him and Iris.

He couldn’t stand to see the tired look in your eyes, how you managed everything, your job, your kid, the house and most importantly him. In the beginning he was afraid you wouldn’t love him, that you would only love Bucky, but you loved him just as much; though you were unaware that he existed in Bucky. Bucky was an idiot to let you roam free and be away from him, especially when the world is filled with cruel people. He was a fool to let you be friends with Thor or any man in general. You were only his and Bucky’s. He was Bucky only, but he was much stronger and capable than Bucky. He was the one who would protect you, not Bucky. The Soldat loved you much more than Bucky ever could.

As he opened the door, he noticed you were in the bathroom. As he entered inside, for a second even he was shocked. You were sitting with your legs folded and staring wide eyed at his computer. He noticed you were watching his files and videos and you were so dumbstruck that you didn’t even notice him standing at the door.

But seeing you watch him do the deed sent a weird wave of pride through him. He wasn’t ever going to tell you any of this, after all it was highly confidential and your life could have been jeopardized. But seeing you now, watching his skilled work with awe, made his chest swell with pride. He deserved to get his work appreciated by his wife; after all, he had put sweat and blood in it, and you weren't even aware, but not anymore. What he failed to notice was that it wasn’t awe on your face, it was unadulterated fear.

He could clearly see as your eyes filled with tears and you pressed a hand on your face. He knew you were scared, but he would tell you not to be. For you, there was nothing to be afraid of him. As you started to puke, he went and held your hair in one hand while with the other he quietly shushed you. The last thing he wanted was to see you suffer. He wanted to protect you, keep you safe from the world, not hurt you.

After you emptied your stomach, you slouched besides the toilet and huffed loudly. The tears from your eyes weren't stopping. “Peeking in other people’s stuff ain’t a good habit, doll.” he said calmly as he folded his hands while leaning against the door frame.

Your eyes widened when you realized that it was Bucky shushing you all this while. But why would he do that, now that you had found his secret. Maybe he was being merciful before killing you. Wait, he was going to kill you!!! You had seen top secret information and there was no going back. You averted your gaze from him as you stared at the laptop. Another video of Bucky’s murders running on it.

You couldn't exactly make out what the video was as your eyes were filled with unshed tears. “He had a big ass fence and four huge dogs guarding the house. But well, all dogs can be lured by treats.” he said shrugging as if he was talking about your neighbors' dogs and not of the person he had killed. And you realized he regretted nothing; he was talking about murdering people with pride rather than guilt.

“Make it quick.” your voice was barely audible as pathetic sobs escaped your eyes. The Winter Soldier titled his head in confusion, “And what made you think that I’m going to kill you?” you looked up at him with even more fear. “I wasn’t supposed to see all this. And I’ve seen enough movies and read enough books to know what happens when you see stuff you aren't supposed to.” you shivered violently at the thought.

The Soldier chuckled dryly “You are right, if they know that you’ve seen all this, then they wouldn’t bat an eyelid in executing you. But... who is going to tell them? Not me for sure. I just need one promise, you aren't ever going to tell this to anyone, no matter what, no matter whose life is at stake. You are going to pretend you never saw any of this. Delete all this from your brain right now!” he ordered.

His commanding voice sent shivers down your spine, “I promise, I promise not to tell anyone....... I'm sorry, please.” you had no idea for what you were apologizing or pleading for. “It's okay.” he said with a faint smile as he picked you up gently and you wondered whether it was the same man capable of killing people in the blink of an eye. As you quietly sat on the bed, you dared not look at him; he on the other hand was lovingly staring at you.

You wanted to tell him to give up this job and start anew, but you knew this wasn't the right timing. “Don't worry, I’ll keep you safe. You don’t have to do anything. Just sign your resignation and I'll turn it in. You'll be safe in this house. You don't even have to ever leave it. The hospital doesn’t even pay you enough for your handwork.”

You looked at Bucky with shock and betrayal, you absolutely adored your work. You wouldn’t ever give up being a surgeon and saving lives. You had spent years trying to reach where you were today, and you loved doing what you did. How could Bucky ever say something like that. He was always so supportive but well, he wasn’t the same Bucky he once was.

“You wouldn’t ever meet any other man. Doll, you don't know how this world is, there are lunatics, murderers and all kinds of bad people. But I’ve vowed to keep you safe and I will. Just don’t, just don’t stop loving me.”

“You are joking right? You don’t mean that... do you?” You asked unsure of his words. “Why would I joke about this?” Your heart beat so loudly that you knew he heard it. To keep you inside your house like a prisoner, had he lost his mind? You enjoyed your freedom more than anything. And at that exact moment you realized that Bucky had utterly and completely lost his sanity.

“You can’t do that! I love my job and I’m not resigning anytime soon. I have friends for Christ’s sake. I have a goddamn life James! What the hell do you mean I won’t see any other men?” You lost your cool. Enough was enough. He couldn’t control your life; you wouldn’t let him.

You took a deep breath; you didn’t want him to misinterpret your next words and ignore you. “James, I believe it should be the other way around. I think it’s time you drop being a hit man. It’s not safe...” at your words he tilted his head and squinted his eyes. But still you continued, “It’s clearly dangerous. The things you’re doing, they could jeopardize all our lives, you, me, Iris. And the way you kill...” you cleared your throat and shook your head.

“It’s not safe for your mental health too. Look Buck, you think I don’t know, but I know you secretly cry at night. You feel guilty, so just stop now. We’ll work it through before it’s too late.” You said while rubbing his arm.

“Think about Rissie, she misses her dad so much when you are gone. Maybe take a job where you won’t have to leave and you can be with her so much more. Also... the lives that you’ve... umm.... they are taking a toll on you. You are not present with us anymore Buck, you stare off and don’t give a shit as to what we say. And it’s not just me that notices. You get irritated so quickly, it’s difficult Bucky. But it can all change if you want, Buck.”

Soldat’s talented ears ignored every word you said and only paid attention to the fact that you care about him so much. He doubted that you would get hysterical knowing what he did, but instead you were worried for him. You were ready to forgive him. He was the luckiest bastard.

You saw his love-struck expression and you knew he wants listening to you. “Bucky...!!??? Listen to what I’m saying! Leave that goddamn job!” You lost your cool and yelled at him.

“Do you know why I took that job? They gave me a chance! They gave me my arm back. I would’ve hated being a burden to you and now look, I’m capable to taking care of you. You don’t understand, I can’t leave that job. They gave birth to me.” Your heart ached at his words.

“Bucky, nothing matters if I’m gonna lose you...!!! You are all that matters. And working for Hydra hasn’t fixed you; it had broken you even more. I miss my Bucky. Please, ple....”

At your words, the Winter Soldier snapped his head towards you, “What did you say? Huh, you miss who?” You narrowed your eyes and you couldn’t quite get the meaning of his words. “What? I said I missed Buck, you were so sweet not controlling, I just...” you stopped talking seeing the deadly expression on his face.

“That idiot Bucky is not going to save you! It’s me! I’m the one who will keep you safe. I love you so much more than Bucky ever has. Don’t you understand. Bucky is weak and he is not coming back.” You winced at his cruel words.

“James, you are the Soldat right now? You.... you need help.” You stuttered. At your words Soldat lost his cool, couldn’t you understand and accept his love for you. He raised his flesh arm and slapped you across the face. What was in Bucky that wasn’t in him. He was right, you only loved him as you thought it was Bucky; you didn’t love the Soldat. But he was Bucky, too right?

“Bucky!!!” You held your stinging cheek. You might have tolerated his words but how dare he hit you? You weren’t the one going to sit back and take his shit. In the heat of the moment, you slapped him back. “How dare you?” you screamed at him. He just closed his eyes and took a deep breath; he knew he had messed up big time. The Soldat was scared of one thing: your anger and resentment in him. He hated when he upset you.

“James enough is enough. I’ve had too much of your shit! All I try to do is support you and care for you. I literally handle this house, a job, I look after Rissie, and I take care of you like you are a child. Not once have I ever complaint.

James, I love you so much, but it’s so taxing! Love is not supposed hurt; it’s not supposed to be one sided. I try everything I can to help you. But you? You just don’t care! All you do is come up with stupider excuses. Keeping me home? Making me leave my job? What the fuck is wrong with you?” You shook your head and pinched your nose.

“Look James, I can’t do this anymore. I think we should take a break. We both need to breathe. We need to take a look at things from a different perspective....” before you could continue, he snapped.

On moment you were trying to talk some sense into him and the next you were pinned to the wall with his metal arm squeezing the life out of you. Your eyes widened and you desperately tried to breathe, but he had blocked your windpipe. “Jame...” you couldn’t even continue your sentence.

The Soldat was furious. How could you? How could you suggest that he leave you? You didn’t need a break, you needed him. Only him. And he was going to prove it to you. He wouldn’t let you leave. You started banging your hands on his arm but it was of no use. His eyes were dead, like in the videos. And that scared you more.

Finally, your arms gave out and you were on the verge of passing out. Yet that didn’t stop him, he was a madman with a point to prove. But then a small blood vessel burst open in your left cheek. And when Bucky noticed that, he came back to his senses.

He quickly left his grip and ran back, bumping into the bed. You sagged back down the wall, wheezing. For minutes or for hours you couldn’t tell, you both didn’t dare move. You were shivering and sobbing. And he was contemplating everything, how could he?

He wasn’t the Winter Soldier right now, he was Bucky. Why did the Soldat had to ruin everything? He was fine till it was limited to killing, but ruining his marriage. What could he ever possibly do to make up to you?

Bucky was the first one to speak up, “I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. I... that wasn’t me; or maybe that was. I don’t know. I’m so confused. You were right, I shouldn’t have joined Hydra. I... I don’t know what to say, what to do.... ,,.... please say something, don’t stay quiet. Please.!” He pleaded with tears in his eyes.

“Tell me, tell me what shall I say so that you wouldn’t snap.” Your voice was hoarse and it was hurting to even say one sentence. “You are right, we should give each other space.” His heart broke to million pieces, but he knew it was right. The Soldat could come back any moment and he was too unstable to stay with you and Rissie.

“I’ll... uhmm.. I’ll leave. I can come here for an hour everyday till...” he suggested. “Please, please don’t. You are too scary. Think about Iris. Just go to Rachel, you’ve denied it for too long and look at us. If she says you are stable enough, come back anytime. But... not before.” Rachel was your friend and an excellent psychiatrist. “Oh, okay. Forgive me please. I’m sorry...”

“Leave please!” You quietly observed as he picked up his duffel bag, which was packed all the time for emergency, and left the room. You got up and followed him, all while thinking of the beautiful moments you shared with Bucky. “Goodbye.” He said and you nodded as he left the house in his car.

“Umm, are you okay? I was worried, I don’t mean to pry. I just heard some commotion.” Sam said as he entered your front yard. Sam was neighbor and a dear friend. He had moved in soon after you had. But you had known each other much before that. He used to frequently visit your hospital with one reason or another. You guessed he had a thing for one of the nurses but he never agreed. He was a light hearted person and you enjoyed his company.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I appreciate your concern.” you tried your best to smile. His eyes quickly went to the bruises on your neck. “You don’t have to be formal, tell me. We are friends. Are you fine? Do you need something.” You couldn’t stop your tears at his concern.

“I’m not fine, but I don’t want to talk about it right now.” You said wiping the tears off. “If you need me, anytime, I’m just one call away.” He gave you a warm smile. “Thanks Sam. I’m so glad you are my friend.”

“You are hell bent on giving me diabetes with your sweet words, lady. Take care of yourself. I’ll be right next door.” He said as he saw you walk into the house.

He quickly exited your house and removed his phone from his pajama. He had to make a call.

☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎

You were in your own thoughts. Bucky hadn’t once called you or showed up in the past six days. You had expected him to come back the next day or at least call.

As you walked back home from the hospital, you didn’t notice the huge Greek god of a man walk straight into you. “I’m sorry.” You said out of instinct without looking up.

You stopped right in your tracts when you heard a familiar yet much affirmative voice calling your name. You turned around and stared right into his eyes. He had changed, become much much bigger and stronger than before. But his eyes, they were the same.

“Steve?!” you asked with sudden excitement. He gave you a radiant smile which instantly improved your day.

Lost in the joy of meeting your long-lost friend, you were both unaware of the pair of eyes keenly observing your every move.

#chris evans #sebastian stan #mcu #marvel #dark!bucky x reader #dark!bucky #mob!steve x reader #mob!steve #winter soldier #winter soldier x reader #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #Steve Rogers #Bucky Barnes

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sparkbeast20 · 3 years

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You’re my Treasure (Mammon X MC) Pt11

The Blue Lotus petals (series)

As a fan of Beauty X Beast pairing, Showing your “true self” to Lover or (Monster Love) Tropes. I figure to make a (More Demonic Forms AU/head canon) story for each brothers. Heads up each brother’s Story is long as fuck. So, I’ll be posting them as parts and finishing one brother before moving on to the rest of them.

(spoiler for lesson 1-60)

Pt1 Pt2 Pt3 Pt4 Pt5 Pt6 Pt7 Pt8 Pt9 Pt10

Warning: Swearing, Demonic nature, Mention of blood, Past events, Unwanted hate towards a family member, and Attempted murder.

Note: I am really bad at warning.

Previously

The sound of coins being step on quietly filled the cavern, as someone pick up the old book on the ground and return back to sleep.

“So, you don’t want to control my body?” Mammon asks the beast reflected in the lake.

No....I have seen how your brothers treated you, and frankly I think you should fight back!

Mammon pouts at him, not likely the way his saying this.

“Hey! They might be a pain in the ass, but that all family are. Sure, we are at each other’s throats, but we have each others back when we need the most.” The beast huffs at that.

Name one time, you all agree to do something!

“The reaper’s cave”

Hm?

“We might not say it out loud, but we truly wanted to help Beel in anyway possible. Hell, it was a miracle that y/n was there. If was for them giving some of their candle to Beel, we would have made it a regular thing to go back to that cave for Beel.” He starts playing around with his ring, to distract himself from missing his brothers.

It seems that the human choice you out of your brothers why is that?

“y/n is not just a human! And why would you care if y/n choose me?”

I don’t know Mammon, why least you been repeating it in your head over and over causing me to wake up!

Suddenly Mammon felt a lump in his throat, he wants to respond but hesitant for a moment, then he spat it out.

“I haven’t done any of that”

Really? Let me refresh your memories

The last part the beast voice changes into his voice as he starts talking into it.

“I failed as protector and a guardian!” “They deserve better than me!” “Why they have to choose me to love” “Why settle with a weak and pathetic demon like me” “I SHOULDN’T BE SECOND OF THE AVATARS!?!”

Half way of the beast speech Mammon covered his ears, shut his eyes, and grinned his teeth with a snarl coming out of him. But he just keeps repeating his thoughts over his mind. Until Mammon scream.

“OKAY I GET IT!” he drops down it all fours as pant like he was exhausted. “I-I can’t be the demon they all want me to be”

Because you keep letting them to fill your mind with those thoughts, but what you should be doing is SHOW THEM!

Mammon looks back to the lake and asks “What do you mean?”

Kill The demon who attack our mate

“I can’t do that; the bastard knows and what I can do. Even if want to kill him, he’ll just move one location to the other”

Not unless you change into me…...

“I can’t…...” Mammon clenches his hands, digging his talons into his palms drawing blood as his body to tremble in the thought of changing back to that form the memories flood back in his mind, all the fights, the wounds which heals but the mental scars remain, and watching Levi and Asmo change right Infront of him. Their scream of agony rings in his ear as tears and blood drip down in to the ground as he starts to sob.

Are you scare after killing Basto, you’ll go and killing your brother while they’re in those forms?

Mammon quickly nods while his looking down at his bleeding hands.

You don’t have to worry about that

The beast spoke with a softer tone causing Mammon to look back at the lake.

“Wh?”

Look you and I are the same being, when I tell you that all you have to do is stay away from them for a week or two, to have better control over yourself and your instinct you might be the first one out of the seven of you to able to turn into your demonic form without the resist of killing your brothers.

Mammon is done founded about the beast just said.

“How are you sure that I can do that?”

Simple you and Asmo are the only ones that didn’t attack y/n when you get angry and threaten them. And you are the only one who never use violence against them by changing into your demon form. You might be a hothead but you never or will raise a hand to your brothers or to our mate.

Mammon is left speechless, the thing that he been scare of knows him well to the point of trusting him for being himself. He was right as much he hates being the first one to be targeting with name calling because of his sin, is not like his the only one, Asmo calling him a horn dog, Levi with his weird obsession with things and getting emotional, Beel with eating all the time, Belphie with out of nowhere naps and sleeps, Satan with his anger issues, and Lucifer being too proud for his own good.

Their demons now, is something they should be use to. But him have the most control out of the seven of them, makes him fill warm inside. That he should be proud of, and why he should let his brothers tell him that he has no self-control when anger.

But his sin oh yeah! He can’t argue with that, I mean he was willing to help Solomon to forge a pact with Lucifer for the Midas crest, and immediately takes all back when Asmo points out that once he gets the crest, he won’t able to touch you due to the crest make everything he touch turns into gold. It had to take Asmo to point it out, who just said it to openly admit that it will be less competition for him. To realize that he could have made one of his biggest mistakes of his life, for what gold!

Looking back at his hands and/or talons then his wings, looks back at his newly grown tail. It too late, he’s far along of the transformation as he his. If he agrees with the beast’s plan, its going to take some time, means that you need to go back.

“Hey, before I agree to yer plan, let me take y/n back to my brothers”

Mammon…. their better with us then back with your brothers

“Yer crazy!?! What if I kill them!”

MAMMON The last thing we want is our MATE DYING. AGAIN! I’m still a little mad at Sloth for what he did! He’s luckily that y/n forgave him, because if they didn’t rest assure, I would’ve wakened up that day!

Mammon flinch and snarl at just remember that day. Holding your past self in his arms as you choke on your blood causing Belphie. If he’s being honest with himself, sometimes he gets piss off whenever Belphie took a nap at your lap and asks pat his head like, he didn’t try to kill you long ago.

That reflex he just did, get angry when you get hurt or someone trying to hurt you. Maybe his beast does have a point.

“Okay, I’ll do it……I’ll-I’ll change, IF!! You make sure that y/n safety is my-our one goal! Go it!”

Even with a beak the beast smirk at Mammon

You have my word…… also you might feel A LOT of pain!

“Huh?...... Wh?”

Before Mammon can say anything else, he felt a pain in his abdomen, he wants to scream but he bites his lips muffling the scream. As he dug his talons into the ground dragging his hands closer to him. Then the pain slowly got worst by each heart beat and panting.

Soon the he couldn’t take it anymore and let out an agnosies scream.

Then a faith voice calls out to him.

“……Mammon…...”

“Mammon!”

Mammon wakes up from the dream by someone grooming his tail, he slowly opens his eyes and lifted up his head and let out a wake-up yawn. And turn his head to whoever is touching his tail.

His eyes narrows and he groans at the sight who it was.

“Morning Mammon, have a good night sleep” Asmo flash he cheerful smile as he fixes the feathers of his tail. “When is the last time you check your tail feathers, look at them some of them are uneven and others stuck together see….” He points at feathers with the vane split apart with dry blood.

“Oi! I didn’t have a chance to clean myself and beside y/n usually brushes and cleans my feathers so, back off” Mammon squawks at Asmo who just giggle at him.

Right, no one can hear him, well no one expect Lucifer who is close to what he is now. He just has to have you use gestures and his eyes to convey what he’s thinking.

“What a pain in the ass, ya all don’t listen to me when I was normal. Now I have to deal with this crap!?! Tch whatever, the herd must be at the lake at this time. Might as well get some food……. Oh shit! Beel’s here…. Great……”

“I know that you’re not a morning demon, so I know that your cranky. But maybe not try to be loud so you won’t wake up y/n” that snap Mammon out of his train of thought.

Surprise to what Asmo said, Mammon looked down in his arms to see your sleeping form curled up next to his chest as you nuzzle your cheek into in with a smile on your face.

He faces softens as gently rub your face with his, as a soothing cooing and purring comes off from him, causing you to let out a satisfying hum as you fall more asleep.

Then Mammon reaches out with beak for a thick fabric from the nest. Then he slowly and gently lay you on the nest and place the fabric under your head serving as a pillow as you continue to sleep.

Then he stood up leave the nest as Asmo let go of his tail and gazing at his brother’s action. Once out of the nest Mammon stretches bending down then stand back straight shake body ruffle his feathers and once finish the feathers fixes themselves as Mammon being his daily routine beginning with leaving the cave. And Asmo got up and follow his big brother.

“I-I don’t believe it. There’s no SIGNAL HERE!!!” Levi is basically reaching for the havens on top of the tree trying to get a signal for his D.D.D, but to no avail.

“Levi! Get down from there” Lucifer yells at Levi causing to flinch almost letting of the branch he was holding to keep himself balance.

From afar Satan and Belphie watches the two older brothers, with Beel who is cook breakfast inside the cave.

“Its just me or is Lucifer losing~”

“His cool? Yes, I’m all for it” Satan is gleefully smile at the sight of Lucifer completely abandoning all of his calmed and serious demeanor, for an anger, short tempered and animalistic one.

Then suddenly they heard talons being drag through rock behind them, they turn around to see Mammon walking out from the cavern and heading outside with Asmo not far behind him.

“Mammon, your awake you got to see this Lucifer is blowing a casket at Levi~” Mammon just keep on walking out ignoring Satan.

“Wait where you going? Breakfast is about to start” Beel got up from he sits next to the campfire and chase after Mammon.

Once outside, flap his wings and start flying, grabbing the attention of Lucifer and Levi.

“MAMMON!?!” Lucifer calls out to him, as he flew after him grabbing Levi’s arm towing along.

As Levi scream for help fade, Satan look at Asmo with a questionable look on his face.

“What did you do”

“Hey! Don’t look at me like that. I was just cleaning the feathers in his tail; I mean you saw him covered in blood of that bastard. You would have done the same thing” Asmo huffs and walk back inside.

“Oh, before you go, Lucifer was looking for the book that he used. Have you seen it?” but Asmo shook his head, not even looking at Satan as he went in to Help Beel with breakfast.

“Clearly one of us is lying about the book” Belphie said it looking at Satan.

“Obviously, but the question is who is lying”

#obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me reader x mammon #obey me monster love #obey me shall we date #obey me mc #obey me blue lotus petals

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darkestdesired · 3 years

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Teachers Pet

Part 2.

An: I am so sorry this took so long there is honestly no excuse!

For this one I honestly just played off the idea of the reader being taller than Oswald and him being just like ‘I’m baby’,like full on obsession and heart eyes towards her and treating her like she’s a goddess.

I have a horrible size kink , and a baby and mommy/daddy kink.

I hope you like it and again I am so sorry! @kpopgirlbtssvt

_______________________

Waking up to the sound of banging on my door was not the morning I had in mind,looking down I smiled at the sight of Oswalds peaceful sleeping expression,carefully I rolled him over onto the pillow,freezing when he made any signs of waking.

Once the coast was clear I got out of bed and slipped on my slippers before making my way to the front door,peeking through the peephole I held in a groan.

Pulling open the door I saw the biggest pain in the ass brother in the world standing in the hallway with his fist up,ready to knock again. “What do you want Jim?” He winced at my unfriendly tone,letting him know I was still very pissed off.

“Listen you can’t stay mad at me forever,We’re family (Y/n).” Crossing my arms I sighed,”Jim I love you,but I meant what I said. I can’t just forgive you,it’ll take a lot more than bothering me every day to earn that back. Oh and you’re shit at apologizing by the way.” He chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. “I’ll do whatever it takes to earn your trust back.”

Sighing heavily I rubbed my tired eyes,”Listen,I’m not gonna be able to trust you again so easily... but I can’t stay mad at you forever.” He held a sad smile,”I know,I promise I’ll make it up to you (N/n).”

The tiniest bit of a smile pulled at my lips,”Now get out of here,I have to get ready for work.” Which was a lie,I had the day off already but I knew if I let him in he would see Oswald. I had to protect the adorable shorter man,even if it was from my own brother.

We said our goodbyes and I quietly shut the door as he left,nearly jumping out of my skin when I turned to see Oswald standing in the doorway with what can only be the cutest bed head I’ve ever seen.

“Good morning,I hope I didn’t wake you up.” He looked up at me with half asleep eyes as I walked over and looked down at the shorter male.”You weren’t in bed so...” he muttered causing my heart to swell.

“Sorry,Jim stopped by again but he won’t be bothering us like this again. Let’s go back to bed.” I hummed.

He frowned as I said that,”You and Jim were fighting?”

Sighing I led him back to the bedroom,”I was so mad at him for killing...well almost killing you so I refused to talk to him,ignoring him ever since that day. But now that I know youre alive and safe here I decided I can at least talk to him,I still don’t trust him...not like I used to. Barbara is the only one I still talk to.”

His pale cheeks turned a slight shade of pink,”You really cared that much about me?” I smiled and wrapped him into a warm hug,”Of course I do Os,I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure you never have to go through that again.” I cooed gently rubbing his back as he practically purred as he melted into my touch,this fact assured me that he was probably touch starved.

“Let’s go back to sleep,Hm?” He nodded,burrowing deeper into my chest seeking more of that Protective warmth that consumed him.

Leading him over to the bed I layer down and brought him down so that he was laying over me,I wrapped the blankets over us as he tucked his face into my neck,breathing in my scent.

I smelled of vanilla and cinnamon,a pleasant combination that soon lulled him to sleep.

Looking at the adorable and fragile men now snoring lightly in my embrace I felt something deep inside of me pull.

He had been through so much,and the more time I spent with him the more I began to realize that this trauma may stretch out to before the incident.

After all his limp was very noticeable and the wounds on his body were mixed between fresh and old.

A story for each little scar,Perhaps ones for another time.

I decided I’d have to talk to an old friend of mine to get me somewhere to hide Oswald,I couldn’t risk his safety with Jim and Harvey snooping around.

Grabbing my phone I pulled up my oldest and closest friend that I’ve had since before moving to Gotham.

The phone wrang for 3 seconds before answering,”Well Well Well,if it isn’t little miss ABC’s. I missed ya darling.” The familiar voice teased. “Hello Victor,I need a favor.” He chuckled at my greeting,the sound vibrating over the phone.

“Oh? Little miss goody two shoes needs a favor? Name it doll face.” I rolled my eyes and glanced down at Oswalds sleeping face,feeling a smile tug at my face.

“I need a safe place to hide someone very dear to me,somewhere my brother won’t think to look.” Victor hummed,”Who’s this very dear someone?”

Tightening my grip on the phone I hesitated,I knew I could trust Victor with every fiber of my being,though I didn’t know his current occupation.

He thought it would be the best way to keep me safe,his innocent little teacher.

“His name is Oswald Cobblepot,trust me I would be asking you if it wasn’t important. Please just let me hide him at your apartment until this all blows over.” He was silent for a moment before I heard him sigh.

“Fine but you owe me doll face.” He feigned annoyance but I knew he didn’t mean it. “Thank you Victor! I’ll even make you those muffins you like so much.” He ooed meaning he knew exactly which ones I was talking about. “For those muffins I’d do ya a thousand favors,Meet me at mine at 6pm. Later doll face.” I smiled,”See you then Vic.”

Hanging up I looked down at Oswald,Placing a gentle kiss on his temple he shuffled a bit. A lazy smile on his face as he moved in more,Hugging him close I shut my eyes.

I knew Oswald would be safe with Victor,and while I didn’t know anything about the underworld the two worked for I had a feeling I was about to find out real soon.

________________

Oswald looked out the window at the passing buildings,curiosity and worry building the further from my apartment we got.

“So where are we going? Not that I don’t enjoy a nice car ride.” He chuckled nervously ,he knew I wouldn’t do anything to hurt him but not knowing where he was going worried him.

He looked over to see me giving him a reassuring smile,”I can’t risk you staying at my apartment with Jim and Harvey sniffing around. I won’t let them hurt you again. So I called an old friend who has a room open,they won’t find you there.”

His eyes widened,I was willing to do so much if it meant keeping him safe?

A man I barely knew?

“Is he..trustworthy?” I nodded,”I trust him with my life,He works with charity’s in the city.” I honestly believed that,which is why Oswald relaxed a bit. “What’s his name? Maybe I know him?” He asked with a smile,which I returned. “Victor Zsasz,he’s like a brother to me. He was actually the one who got me my job at the elementary school.”

As I carried on with my story I completely missed the way Oswalds face dropped in horror. “V-Victor Zsasz..?” He stuttered.

“Mhm,he looks intimidating and he is sarcastic as hell,but he’s just a big teddy bear once you get to know him.” I giggled,knowing he would hate having been referred to as a big teddy bear.

“I-I see,and you say he works with charity’s?” Did I honestly not know that Victor was the most dangerous assassin in Gotham? Charity work is the farthest thing from his job.

“Yea,he works for Falcons Charity,they help the poor find jobs and housing,I’ve met mr.falcons a few times. He’s super nice and gentlemanly,I actually have a brunch meeting with him next week.”

Now he really was in shock,I was friends with the big dogs and didn’t even know it,he was actually impressed. But knowing how sweet and kind I was he wasn’t that surprised,he was just worried about what dangers I’d be dragged into.

_______________

Before he even realized it we had pulled up to a nice looking building on the other side of town,we pulled into an alley in the back and parked.Grabbing the container of muffins and my purse we slipped out into the quiet alley.

He followed as we walked to a back door,pulling out a key I unlocked it,revealing a hallway leading to stairs going down.

“Stay close,I don’t want you to get lost.” I didn’t have to tell him twice as he gripped onto my coat sleeve and limped practically glued to my side.

It took us about 2 minutes before we reached a door with two buff men that toward over us,Oswald coward behind me as I smiled at the two.

“Good afternoon Ivan,Luis!” They smiled back at me.

Ivan was a single 6’3 white Russian bodyguard with a heart of gold and heavy accent while Luis was a 6’1 Black man from England with the cutest wife and 6 year old daughter ,They were extremely protective and damn good at their jobs.

Luis gave me a toothy smile as he went to hug me,before stopping as he noticed Oswald hiding behind me,peeking over my shoulder.

He frowned,”Who is the pipsqueak?” He asked raised a brow,”Oh this is Oswald,Oswald say hi to Ivan and Luis.”

Ivan crossed his arms with a smirk,”Ahhh so this little man is the one who stole heart of Miss (Y/n).” His laugh was booming.

“Oh hush Ivan,I always knew she had a thing for the shorties eh?” Luis teased elbowing the other,my (s/c) face grew hot as I felt Oswald burry his face into my shoulder blade in embarrassment.

“Just for that you two aren’t getting muffins,I’ll give them all to Victor.” Their laughing stopped comically as their smiles fell,”You brought muffins! Oh darling I’m gonna marry you.” I laughed,”Don’t let Lillian hear that Luis.”

He rolled his eyes,”She already told me she’d be more than happy having you as a third so long as you do the cooking.”

Playfully punching his shoulder I reached back and took Oswalds hand,giving it a gentle squeeze. “Alright boys,we need to see Victor,I’ll give you your muffins later.”

They gave their goodbyes as I led Oswald inside,leading to a giant apartment,”So you seem friendly with everyone here.” I heard him say quietly,his pale cheeks still red.

“Igor and Ivan are like big brothers to me,seeing as though I come here more than my own apartment. We’ve just grown to have a strong bond over time.” He nodded but couldn’t help but feel a bit insecure and jealous,thoughts of self worth seemed to clog his brain until he felt me stop and place an arm around his shoulders bringing him closer.

“Victor,this is Oswald,Oswald this is Victor.” I stated looking at the hairless man who was pouring a few drinks.

“Ah Oswald Cobblepot,it’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” Victor said with a dangerous glint in his eyes that told Oswald that the assassin knew exactly who he was as he stalked over,handing us both a glass that stunk of heavy liquor.

“L-Likewise Victor.” He gulped ,slowly inching in closer to my side. Victor smirked at him before giving me an easy smile,”So where’s my payment?” Oswald raised a brow,”Payment?”

Rolling my eyes I held out the container of muffins,”Here you go,remember to share them with Ivan and Luis.” He chuckled and took the container and peeled open the lid,talking a big whiff of the blueberry smell. “Mmmm,I missed your baked goods doll face.”

Giggling I smiled at the usually stoic man,”I know,Now promise you’ll keep your promise and protect Oswald. If my brother founds out he’s here-“ Victor waved me off.”Good ol’ Jimbo won’t find out honey,I promised you and I plan to keep that promise.” Sighing I let go of Oswald and hugged the taller man.

“I owe you one.” He chuckled and patted my back,But Oswald felt a shiver roll down his spine when Victors easy smile fell into a deadly scowl,there was no playfulness or humor in his eyes. But it was back to it’s happy smile as soon as I pulled away.

“Don’t worry about it,You know I’d do anything if it kept you safe and happy.Plus Oswald and I are going to become great friends... aren’t we Ossy?” Victor said as he walked over and wrapped an arm around oswalds tense shoulders.

Oswald gulped but looked over at me,seeing my caring eyes filled with worry he knew that Victor wouldn’t do anything that would risk upsetting me.

“Right.” He stated tightly,forcing a smile.

It seemed I noticed but as soon as I went to say something my phone began to wring,Pulling it out and looking at the screen. I could feel my chest tighten as I saw it was Jim,Sending them an apologetic look I walked away to answer.

Once I was out of earshot Victor kept a smile on his face as he leaned down to oswalds ear.

“If you break her heart I will make your life a living hell Penguin,There are far worse things than death.” Oswald gulped,muttering out,”Likewise,Assasin.” Causing Victor to smirk.

Rushing over I frowned,”That was Jim,He needs me to stop by the precinct.He needs help with that Bruce Wayne kid,he thinks having someone who works with kids will help.” They could see how this conflicted me.

“Don’t worry ‘bout a thing sweetheart,go do what you gotta do. Oswald and I will spend this time to get to know each other.” I smiled at Victor before going over to Oswald,Cupping his cheeks and whispering so only he can hear me.

“Are you going to be okay,if you don’t feel comfortable I can try to figure something else out?” Oswald melted into my touch,reaching up he took my hands,Never in his life had he felt so loved by anyone but his mother. The fact that I barely knew him and treated him with such kindness made his heart swell.

“I’ll be okay (Y/n),Just don’t forget about me okay?” My smile softened and I pulled him into a warm and safe hug,”I would never,my little Oswald.”

Usually he hated being called little,usually associating it with Painful memories,but when I said it it made him want to beg me to say it again and again.

His cheeks felt like they were on fire as I placed a kiss on his forehead before pulling away,Glancing at the two I pulled out my keys. “I’ll be back tomorrow after work,please call me if anything happens okay?” They both said their goodbyes as I walked out the way we came.

Victor waited until the door was shut and my footsteps had disappeared to let his smile fall,Sit down.” He commanded moving to a little couch and chair in the living room. Oswald reluctantly followed and did as told.

Victor glared at the fragile man,“We have a lot to discuss Traitor,beginning with what happened with Fish Mooney.”

Oswald glanced back at the door.

Praying that tomorrow would come already.

#oswald cobblepot x reader #oswald cobblepot imagines #oswald cobblepot #gotham imagine #gotham x reader #gotham #victor zsasz imagines #victor zsasz x reader #victor zsasz #jim gordon #Jim Gordon x reader

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redhoodieone · 3 years

Text

Hate You More

A new fic that I was inspired to write! There will be a Part 2 since this is going to get VERY smutty. Enjoy!

WARNINGS: Language. Mentions a little smut.

I’m a princess. Well, a “bit” of a princess. But that’s not exactly my fault. I’m an only child. My mom and dad always wanted one kid and once they had me they were happy...until they divorced when I was eight-years-old and my dad left somewhere far away. Ever since then, it was always just me and mom, which was never a bad thing.

We were close and got along just fine. Every weekend was our Nicholas Sparks movie marathons on the couch, eating a shit ton of strawberry ice cream straight from the carton, and painting each other’s nails and having her braid my hair and tell me stories of when I was little.

Everything was perfect with just me and my mom...until she married him.

Bruce Wayne.

I never thought my mom would ever want to remarry but Bruce somehow stole her heart and made her fall in love with him.

I didn’t want to blame her for being so stupid for marrying him. I mean, Bruce did treat my mom right. I just hated him so much for convincing my mom to move us into his mansion.

So far away from my first home.

But I know he really loves her, despite being known as a billionaire playboy, womanizing, man whore. After three years into their marriage, I noticed he really cared about me and treated me like his daughter; certainly overprotective and reminding me if I ever needed anything to always go to him.

He even helped me get into GCU. With his help, I’m now into my second year. He’s really proud that I’m a responsible, twenty-one year old college student, and that makes me feel good.

But it hasn’t always been perfect with Bruce. Not only did I get a stepdad, but I got THREE asshole stepbrothers: Dick, Jason, and Tim. They’re the boys Bruce adopted.

Dick wasn’t exactly an asshole. He’s twenty-five years old and he’s always in and out of the mansion. He’s a party animal and I rarely see him unless he’s home for Sunday dinners and for Alfred to do his laundry.

Tim is tolerable. He’s always kind to me, but he’s also a shy and awkward fourteen-year-old. He’s seriously a nerd and he’s becoming an addict to coffee and always being on his computer. But he doesn’t bother me at all.

Not like Jason Fucking Todd.

He’s twenty-one years old and is a complete lazy ass who mooches on everyone.

I honestly hated him the second I met Jason. The second my mom and I moved into the mansion, I had set down backpack on the kitchen counter so I could remove my sweater and throw away the empty bag of fried fast food I had for lunch. The moment I turned around, Jason had jumped up to sit on the kitchen counter and had the nerve to pick up my backpack and throw it to the floor.

“Oops! Your shit was in my spot.”

I had my fucking cell phone, laptop, and picture frames of my family in there.

And that’s how it all started. Jason made it very clear he hates me and I refuse to back down and be nice to him. I mean, the fucking asshole has zero respect for me anyways. All he does is drink, eat all the food, and bring bar sluts home to fuck loudly in his bedroom which is right NEXT DOOR TO MINE!!!

All night and early in the mornings. All I can hear is Jason’s headboard slamming repeatedly against the wall and his bimbos screaming, “Oh God! Right there, Jay! Oh my God, HARDER!”

Seeing him afterwards is worse though. I could be walking to the bathroom or the kitchen and he’d just happen to come by to use the bathroom too, or get a drink of water...only using a sheet that’s wrapped around his waist!

He’d fucking smirk at me and I would try so hard to not look down at his big bulge and thick hard on.

Jason is my stepbrother...only my stepbrother, I constantly remind myself.

But Jason is also an asshole. He may look sexy and taste delicious but his one unattractive flaw is his behavior.

And I’m not one to sit back and let assholes walk all over me. I do get back at Jason quite a bit; enough to piss him off.

Today is one of the days I decide to have a big appetite. After my shower, I run downstairs only wearing my comfy pajama short shorts and a black tank top. I remember Dick is at his own apartment and Alfred is away in London on “holiday” as he calls it. Entering the kitchen, I see Mom making breakfast for us: pancakes, bacon, and sausage.

Bruce is sitting at the kitchen table, drinking his coffee and reading on his cellphone. Tim is drinking a cup of coffee (maybe 5th refill?) and eating pancakes and some sausage.

“Good morning,” I say to all of them.

“Good morning sweetie,” Mom replies with such a warm motherly smile.

Bruce grins at me. “Good morning, Y/N.”

All Tim does is nod his head to me and continues to eat.

“I’m starving,” I say and already fill my plate with two pancakes and some bacon and sausage as well.

I take a seat next to Tim and dig in. Ace, Bruce’s dog moves closer to my feet and looks up at me for some food. Fucking puppy dog eyes...I sneak a few pieces of bacon to him.

Mom eventually sits down with hers and Bruce’s plate. He smiles lovingly at her and the two kiss.

It’s a calming morning. Everyone’s eating and just enjoying the silence...until the asshole comes into the kitchen.

Jason literally has no shame. He comes in only wearing his black boxers and has very cute bed head. Stop it, Y/N. He’s completely shirtless. Not even acknowledging he’s in the kitchen, Jason quickly makes a plate for himself which he only puts three pancakes and like two handful sizes of bacon.

I silently growl and tighten my hand around my fork as I’m stuck looking at his bare, muscular upper body. His arms look strong. He’s just...all muscle. All man.

But then I remember he’s a fucking asshole and I hate him.

As if he can feel my eyes on him, Jason quickly glances at me and smirks. He actually fucking flexes his muscles for me.

I immediately look down because I just know my cheeks are red like tomatoes. God, does he have to be so attractive???

“Good morning, princess,” Jason taunts me, after greeting everyone else, obviously. He sits directly in front of me with that shit eating grin. “Did you sleep well last night?”

I glare at him. Fuck him. “Yeah, I did. You know very well that I can’t sleep peacefully unless you bring a whore home and fuck her until she’s blue in the face, Jason. I mean, when it’s so quiet at night, I just can’t fall asleep! It’s impossible! It’s like I HAVE to hear you fuck just to go to sleep!” I say sarcastically.

“So, you do listen to me when I fuck my girls, huh? Is your sex life nonexistent that you have to get yourself off on others who actually get off?” Jason jokes and shoves a piece of bacon in his mouth. “That’s pretty pathetic, even for you, Y/N. At least Tiny Tim here watches internet porn. Maybe you should start getting yourself off with that instead of listening to me fuck.”

“Jason...” Bruce warns. “Don’t even start this morning.”

“Start what? I’m not even doing anything,” Jason says. He raises an eyebrow at me and keeps that fucking smirk on his face.

“Leave Y/N alone, Jason,” Tim butts in.

“Quiet Timbers. Let the princess tell me off. I love it when she gets all red and pissed off.”

My mom glances at me with a serious look, too. Why is she giving me that look when I didn’t even do anything?!

“Aw, there’s sausage?! I didn’t know there was sausage up there!” Jason whines. His eyes dart from my plate over to my mom and Bruce.

“I actually served the last few pieces to Bruce. I’m sorry, Jason,” my mom apologizes. She frowns and looks down at hers and Bruce’s empty plates.

“That’s all right. I see there’s still five uneaten sausages on Y/N’s plate,” Jason says and smirks at me. He looks down at my plate and back up at me. “You’re not going to eat them, are you princess? Because if not, I want them.”

He’s fucking teasing me. Jason is mocking me with those green eyes and that fucking smile that wets every girl’s panties. It’s like he actually believes he’s going to get away with this. He really thinks he’s going to get what he wants. Jason slowly reaches a hand towards my plate to get my sausages.

I want to burst his cocky bubble in front of everyone.

“Actually...I’m going to give them to the dog. And by dog, I mean Ace,” I say, quickly grabbing all the sausages in my hand and feed them to Ace under the table. “You see, I don’t feed dirty dogs like you. Ace is a clean, loyal, and sweet dog. You on the other hand are a dirty, disgusting, slut who fucks anything with a hole.”

My sudden outburst startles everyone at the table. I see everyone’s wide eyes and open mouths hanging in shock at me.

Jason chuckles lowly. His eyes are full of anger and hatred for me. “What did you just say to me?” he asks.

“You heard me,” I reply with the same tone. “Unless you lost your hearing due to all the screaming from the banshee skank you brought home last night from only God knows where.”

“You know, you’re starting to sound like a jealous bitch. For someone who has claimed to hate me and not want anything to do with me on multiple occasions, you seem to be really obsessed about my sex life,”

“Oh please, don’t flatter yourself,”

“Y/N stop,” my mom says.

“You think I’m flattering myself?! I’m not the one who always checks myself out! You know, I always see you staring at me right?! If anything, you’re flattered by me!” Jason snaps.

“ENOUGH!!!” Bruce shouts.

We’re all silent but Jason and I continue to stare each other down.

“I’ve had enough of the two of you fighting! It’s old and it’s seriously ridiculous. It needs to end now. Your mother and I are going to leave for Spain tonight, and I don’t want to hear anything bad about the two of you while we’re gone. Now, apologize to each other,” Bruce says.

“Apologize to the princess? For what?! She’s a fucking bitch, who’s always bitching, and she’s basically the biggest bitch who ever bitched!” Jason yells. “She should apologize to me!”

“If I’m a fucking bitch then that makes you the biggest asshole here! You’re literally the most disgusting, disrespectful, lazy ass guy I have ever met! You have NO respect for anyone who lives here! Why should I fucking apologize to you?! All you do is drink, eat all the food, and bring random whores to our house and force us all to listen to you have sex!” I yell back.

“Our house? You think this is your house, too? I hate to burst your “bitching bubble” sweetheart, but this isn’t your house! You’re extra baggage that had to be dragged here! Your mom was wanted here; not you. As far as I’m concerned, you’re not even family!” Jason yells louder than before.

My bottom lip trembles uncontrollably. I feel tears running down my cheeks. I need to get out of here before I completely break down in front of Jason.

“You’re such a fucking asshole, Jason!” I choke out.

I quickly jump out of my seat and run up the stairs. After I slam my bedroom door, I throw myself down onto my bed and cry. I can even hear Bruce screaming his head off and tearing Jason a new one.

——————————————————————————

I wake up to an empty stomach. Rolling over onto my back, I rub my eyes and yawn. It’s dark in my bedroom; indicating it’s already nighttime. I reach for my cellphone on my nightstand and see it’s already eight o’clock.

I must have been really exhausted to have slept the day away. Those days usually happen after I cry a lot and feel like shit.

Mom and Bruce are probably already gone. Their Spain trip is only for the weekend. I’m seriously glad about that since I don’t know how I’m going to get through the weekend with Jason still around.

Maybe if I’m lucky he’s already at the bar and picking up skanks. That means I have time to eat and a few hours of silence for myself.

I decide to go downstairs and I instantly notice all the lights are off except for the kitchen light. Slowly stepping into the kitchen, I see it’s empty and that there’s a big box of pizza and two drinks; a bottle of beer and a glass of orange juice with the bottle of Vodka next to it.

Raising an eyebrow in question, I look around to see who did this. Noticing the back sliding door is open, I walk over slowly to peek out.

Jason.

On the phone and sitting at the patio table.

He doesn’t see me but I can hear him clearly.

“Do you think she’ll really like it?”

#dc comics #jason todd x reader #jason todd x y/n #jason todd #batman

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nobodies-png · 3 years

Note

Hi can I get a uhhhh

Xeonort...being a big bro to Sora and Riku in a happy au where nothing goes wrong...With a side of fries and a diet coke

GRABS YOU AND SQUISHES YOU LIKE A DOG TOY

YOU BROUGHT ME BACK HERE, THIS IS YOUR FAULT !!!

So anyway, hello, hello ! I’ve been thinking about KH again now that union cross is about to end - and also about how fucked up it is that xenahort is from destiny islands like sir couldn’t you just stay THERE

Let’s sit down for a second, ignore the actual timeline along with the canon story and pretend that a young Xenahort just stayed in Destiny Islands and became the cool older brother figure that Sora and Riku just like to follow around. You know what, Kairi isn’t even supposed to be here if Xenahort stays but fuck it, she’s here too. It’s our AU, we make up the rules. This is just like the “Xenahort is everyone’s grandpa and KH is just their D&D game” AU except everyone is baby and with a side of found family trope.

Xenahort often complains about Destiny Islands being too small for him, ironically enough he spends most of his days awat from the mainland to continue his personal research in the little shack by the smaller island. This is where Sora, Riku and Kairi find him most of the time and they have no problem barging in to keep him company and annoy him with endless questions. Just picture a very moody teenage Xenahort being followed by three absolute rays of sunshine that barely reach his waist. Just do it, imagine it. Okay, good, moving on -

Kairi was most likely the first one to approach him, since Riku and Sora were too busy daring each other to do it. And Xenahort probably ignored them for days until they finally got on his nerves, but the three just REALLY wanna know what he’s working on ! Kids will be kids, yknow. So he indulges them and explains his theories about the different worlds and his goal to travel between them, lowkey hoping that they get bored and leave him alone but surprisingly, they don’t ! In fact, they want to know even more ! And god fucking knows Xenahort loves to ramble and have long winded monologues, so he’s pretty excited about having his own little students.

They often talk about what kind of world they’d like to visit and all the endless possibilities - Riku is the one who talks the most during these sessions, often cutting Sora and Kairi to explain that “a world made entirely out of candy would probably rot in a few weeks” or all the rations they’d need to survive the trip, trying to apply logic to everything. Like, aight Riku we get it you’re smart. Sora on the other hand likes to talk about all the different people and creatures they could befriend - and gets really sad whenever Riku reminds him that the language barriers would prevent him from befriending people so easily. Kairi focuses more on the environment - the food, the flora and all the fun trinkets and gifts she can bring home for their other friends. It’s very refreshing for Xenahort, who was so obsessed with making his plans work that he forgot about the fun and exciting part of researching.

Speaking of other friends, Tidus, Wakka and Selphie sometimes drop by, but only when the Destiny Trio insist - Selphie and Tidus are highkey intimidated by Xenahort because he looks like a mean teen, but Wakka just doesn’t like to think or hear about the universe when he can focus on his homeland. Tidus also likes to tag along whenever homework piles up and they can ask Xenahort for help. Hell, he probably builds their science projects too, but with a surprise to ruin everything at the end so the kids know better than to make him do all the work - like one of those volcanos but it erupts glitter all over the place or some shit.

Still, Xenahort is a teen and like most teens, he’s got his moments of intense angst. He might propose very complex questions to the Destiny Trio out the blue, about leaving everything behind, never to return to the islands, for the sake of research and so on. Riku never answers, since he somewhat feels the same, Kairi and Sora however, insist that he can always come back. But yeah, sometimes the trio also get really angry at Xenahort because he refuses to play with them, on account of being “too old for baby games”.

Xenahort also strikes me as a guy who’d pretend not to know the trio on the main island, if only to save some face around his classmates and other friends - but Sora’s mom totally invites him over for lunch and shit and practically treats him like her own son. Which is super weird because it messes Xenahort’s mysterious and slightly condescending vibe. Yeah this is just that entire “Good Guys adopt Antagonist and Antagonist must deal with casual affection and friendship” TV trope, don’t look at me.

Sora, Riku and Kairi would grow up to be the curious adventurers they’ve always been in canon, but instead of being motivated to leave due to insatisfaction, they’d be thrilled to explore the universe out of pure curiosity for the unknown. And they wouldn’t build a shitty raft with like 3 fucking coconuts, not on Xenahort’s watch.

For the bonus angst idea, just imagine that one day the Destiny Trio arrive at the island to play with Xenahort, but he’s nowhere to be found. He doesn’t show up the next day either, nor the day after. They can’t even find him on his house. No one knows where he is. Not even his own family. And weeks pass, as if he had never existed in the first place. Sora, Riku and Kairi wonder if Xenahort actually managed to leave Destiny Islands - but he would never leave without them. Would he?

#KH headcanons #Xenahort #Riku #Sora #i forgot how to tag in this blog im so sorry #thank my friend for making me revive this blog #i just really like to think about everyone being childhood friends....#and nothing wrong happens ever.....#Anonymous

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classic80sand90smovieloves2 · 4 years

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Traveling in time with Marty McFly would include~

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous)

(I wrote this as a slight friends to lovers type of scenario so I hope thats okay! Also, this is based on just the first movie so if you’d like certain time periods or something then feel free to request.)

- You’d been working for Doc alongside Marty for a while so of course you’d be invited to help with the DeLoreans send off. Doc was excited, the tapes were rolling; Everything was going great...until it wasn’t.

- The Libyans arrived and ruined everything, forcing you to join Marty inside the DeLorean in an attempt to save your skin. Soon enough the two of you were going through a terrible blast to the past, still mourning your lost friend and scared half to death.

- Fast Forward a little, or rather rewind a lot, and the two of you are sat panicking worse than ever in the front seat of a stylish time machine. You get out of the car as quickly as he does, gazing at the long empty road and the sign that proves you aren’t where you’re supposed to be.

“Hey Marty?”

“Yeah....”

“Do me a favor and pinch me...hard.”

- And so he does, asking that you return the favor once you yelp in pain. The two of you shut your eyes tight, praying that once you open them again you’ll be back home in bed but alas, no luck.

“I don’t think we’re dreaming.” You say, grabbing onto his arm and feeling more helpless than you’ve ever felt before.

“Yeah, I think you’re right.” He responds, his eyes returning to the Lyon Estates sign once more.

- With nothing else to do, you help him stash the DeLorean and start your long journey to town.

- Once you get there, you’re torn between being amazed and horrified. I mean, you’re in the 1950′s! ...But you’re also stuck in the 1950′s.

- You’re sure you look downright insane to the locals, stumbling around like you’re experiencing everything for the first time, but you frankly don’t care. You’re just wondering what you’ll have to do to return home, or if you’ll ever get to return home for that matter.

- The two of you walk into the diner and take your seats at the luncheonette. You end up interrupting and ordering for the two of you yourself, deciding to be merciful to your frazzled friend and not wanting to suffer from anymore secondhand embarrassment.

“What my friend here meant to say was that we’d like two coffee’s, Decaf.”

- Marty rubs a hand down his face and leans his forehead against your shoulder, groaning quietly in “silent” gratitude. You get your coffees, taking a sip just as the door of the diner swings open to reveal the one and only Biff.

- You soon find out that the young man beside you is Marty’s father to which you can only respond with a whispered “Holy Crap McFly, your dads hot.”. Marty still isn’t sure how to feel about it though at the time he just gave you a disturbed look.

- Now it’s at this time that I should mention: Marty has had a pretty big crush on you for a while now. The main reason he hadn’t asked you out yet was because he really didn’t want to lose you as a friend or have to face you every time he visited Doc; in case you did wind up rejecting him.

- The reason I’m telling you this is because after Biff and his friends make fun of Marty’s “life preserver”, he notices the babe sitting beside him. Now Biff wouldn't be Biff if he didn’t try to flirt with a dorks girl so he gives you a line and Marty uses everything within him not to launch himself at the bully.

- He has a silent victory when you just scoff at the boy and turn back to your coffee. Biff gives one of those tough guy, undeterred responses and finishes his threat to George before walking out with his buddies.

- You turn back to Marty, watching awkwardly as he uncomfortably stares down his father. After a minute, you lightly hit his arm and give him a look, trying to make him stop. The two of you have a silent argument, giving each other different facial expressions and mouthing words. You’re both interrupted by Goldie's speech.

- You’re the one to first notice George’s absence, prompting you to pull Marty out of his seat and push him out the doors of the diner.

“You know y/n, you’re really taking this whole time travel thing way too well!”

“That’s because I’ve got you Marty.” He melts.

- You’re sort of just forced to watch from afar as the whole car accident scene unfolds. You spend the rest of the day awkwardly waiting outside the families house with nowhere else to go.

- You have to jog to keep up with him after he runs out of the house. He explains everything to you at a mile a minute, grabbing you by the arm and telling you that it’s really time to find Doc.

~One extremely long conversation about how you’re from the future, the mechanics of time travel, and other interesting tidbits later~

- Marty and you get dressed up in 50′s wear, which he finds particularly adorable on you, and head over to the school. You quickly come across his father and without even thinking, you storm up to him, ripping the sign off his back and standing up to the jerks who were tormenting him.

- In theory, your actions are harmless but they proved to have a much bigger effect than you intended. George thanks you, commenting shyly how nobodies ever stood up for him before to which you respond that nobody deserves to be treated that way.

“You’re beautiful.... I-I mean, you’re heart is! Not that you aren’t! You’re very attractive, it’s just... What I mean to say is that you’re very nice.” Shit.

- It became increasingly obvious that George was now infatuated with you. You’d just royally screwed up, and all because you wanted to be a decent person.

- As Marty whisked George away, neither of you could ignore the fact that the boy was trying to look back at you as he was being pulled.

- When Marty attempted to introduce his parents to each other he found that it was completely in vain. His mother hardly even noticed his father and his father didn’t even seem to mind all that much. Why? Because he was too busy sneaking glances at you.

“Oh dear. We certainly have a predicament on our hands.” Doc muttered once you all joined back with each other.

“Great job y/n. You made my dad fall in love with you in what? Two minutes?” Marty quipped sarcastically. Not that he could really blame his father, he was sure he would have fallen for you even quicker. Well now you had to think of a plan, and fast.

- Lunchtime came and you were sure you had the perfect excuse to let the boy down easy, getting him and Lorraine together in the process. You and Marty made your way to the boys table, sitting down and greeting the nervous boy who looked ecstatic to see you.

- George greeted you back, saying how he was hoping he’d see you again and how he wanted to thank you by taking you out for a milkshake or something. This was your chance. You opened your mouth and...

“Actually George, you see, we’re kind of dating. You know, going steady.” Your mouth snapped shut, eyes widening as you turned to look at Marty.

“Oh....” George replied somewhat dejected.

- You quickly jumped in, saying how you knew he had a thing for Lorraine and how you wanted to help them get together. He tried to deny it before he shyly asked you what you had in mind.

- You try to give him some dating advice but he quickly decides that it would never work. After all, how’s he supposed to win over Lorraine’s affection when she’s obsessed with “Calvin”.

- You help Marty dress up as “Darth Vader” all the while seriously questioning his sanity and how he thinks it’s a good idea.

- He gives you this smug, prideful look when George approaches you the next day, rambling about how an alien told him he has to ask Lorraine out. You just smack him on the arm and start to try and coach his father.

- Marty somewhat argues with you on what his father should do, giving George the typical male dating advice while you give him the more sensible “what females actually want” advice.

- You sit back with him while George goes to talk with Lorraine, giving him puppy dog eyes while asking to get a good old fashioned malt.

“You know it’s seriously unfair when you do that to me.” He says, digging into his pockets. The kiss on the cheek you give him is worth the trouble.

- Sitting back and watching things go South after he messes with Biff. You realize that things are only going to get worse between him, his mother and his father if you don’t do something so once he’s finished with his getaway, you run over and lay one on him.

- You’re hoping that once Lorraine sees him with “his girlfriend” she’ll realize he’s off limits and be more open to getting with George. It does seem to somewhat work but it certainly makes things between you and your friend a bit awkward.

- You can’t help but think about how you actually enjoyed that kiss and how he seemed to just as much. You pull away from him awkwardly, whispering an apology to him while he shyly reassures you that it’s fine.

- The dance is your last chance to get Marty’s parents back together so you really have to be at the top of your game. Lorraine obviously doesn’t have a date so Marty uses his influence with her to persuade her to double date with him, you and George.

- The plan will go as planned, Marty will convince her to come out to the car with him, “force himself on her” and George will come to her rescue. Except before Marty can even think about going through with the plan, Biff comes in and Marty gets locked in the trunk.

- Long story short, George punches Biff, woos Lorraine and Marty performs on stage before saying goodbye to his parents. You and Marty have a tough final goodbye with Doc and successfully make it into the future, or rather, where you’re from. Doc gets shot, again, but this time he’s equipped with a bulletproof vest and survives, much to your (ecstatic) surprise.

- He drops you and Marty off at the boys house, saying goodbye before departing into the future. Marty, whose arm had been around your shoulder as you watched, turned you around and confessed that he’s liked you for a very long time. You admit that you like him too and the two of you lean in for your first kiss as an actual item.

- You walk home that night happier than ever and in the morning you meet up with him so that the two of you can have a well deserved relaxing day together. Well, that was what you were planning on doing before Doc showed up to whisk you away for another time travel adventure.

- You and Marty share a look before getting into the DeLorean, eager yet scared to see what’s in store for you.

#back to the future headcanons #back to the future imagine #back to the future headcanon #80s movie imagine #80s movie imagines #80s movie headcanons #80s movie headcanon #marty mcfly imagine #marty mcfly headcanons #marty mcfly headcanon

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softboyscully · 4 years

Text

Public School Stuff I Wanted to Share

public school is both beautiful and horrifying am i right

so ill just go by the grades i guess

Kindergarten, first year

i did kindergartden at a catholic school in a relativly big city so this one’s got some shit

we went to church every wednesday, me and best friend (lost track of her when we moved, wish we’d stayed in touch, she was awesome) would giggle the whole time, pretty sure we made fun of jesus once, can’t remember why, possibly the hair

i had the nicest teacher, she was (as i remember her) young, blonde, and super sweet, that was the first and last year i ever had naptime

SPEAKING of naptime

i never slept during it

once i found what i remember being a nut of some sort on the ground, probably came off someone’s shoe

i grab it, turn to sarah (my best friend), say something about putting it up my nose

sarah, apparently having common sense, says, “no dont do it!! we’re supposed to be sleeping!!”

i put it up my fucking nose

try to get it out, just push it farther in

im crying a little bit now, that shit hurts

go up to my teacher

“you’re supposed to be asleep!”

“i have a nut up my nose and it wont come out”

teacher tries to get it out, but it wont budge

just. sends me back to my mat

that was it

the art room was tiny

like re-purposed broom closet tiny

there was a copy of the mona lisa in the hallway, someone had drawn ray bans on it with a pencil, never got replaced

there was a creepy-ass basement i went down to after school, we ate cheeseballs and sandwiches with some kind of meat, mayo, and that kinda yellow bread

someone broke his leg down there once, think an older kid threw him at the ceiling or something

we learned how to play Silver Bells with actual bells in music class

Kindergarten, second year

i remember these two teachers as the evil step sister-type look, but it might be my little kid imagination

but seriously they were horrible

we learned stuff in a room that was more middle-school styled, except everything was green or black and it was v dark

me and sarah attained a new friend, john

honestly i think we would’ve stayed friends for a while if i didnt move away

i have two vivid memories

one is of me really wanting to go home, so i walked by the teacher’s desk and did a fake sneeze

they laughed at me and told me to go sit back down

the other is john leaning his chair back and then falling, so me and sarah went to help him back up

it was funny, so he did it again

and again

me and sarah were laughing, had the time of our lives

after the maybe fifth time the teachers said “john can get back up by himself. sit down and stay there.”

one of the reasons we moved was bc i got sent a letter from my fourth grade buddie

most of the words weren’t spelled correctly, many letters were backwards

my mother was horrified

ofc now we know it was probably a learning disability

1st grade

this is when i moved

beginning of school i was ASTOUNDED we didnt have uniforms, one of the best things ever to happen to me

nothing wrong with this teacher, she was cool

thing is i was a little shit

told everyone my dogs died (they did but i was maybe three when it happened, i remember it not)

all my personal narratives were bullshit (only one sticks in my memory, wrote it about celebrating christmas AND hanukkah with my dad’s friends who were jewish, i have never even met those friends)

had a crush on this kid, best friend (she was terrible and helped wreck me emotionally) told me to kiss him in music class. me being a stupid ass bitch, i did it, aND HE GOES TO THE TEACHER AND CALLS ME OUT. at the end of class she gets both of us to stay for a bit, AND I DENYIED EVERYTHING. i walked across the fucking classroom, kissed him on the cheek, ran away giggling, told my teacher i didn’t do anything, AND GOT AWAY WITH IT. i’ve embarrassed myself further with this child but thats another story

2nd grade

i loved this teacher but honestly he was absolute shit

like. all he did was play the guitar and sing with us

never actually taught us stuff???

middle of the year, my mom goes in for a parent-teacher conference, he tells her i dont pay attention is math.

“what do you mean?”

“she doesn’t listen, she just takes out a book and starts reading.”

“........have you.... tried taking the book away?”

“sure, i could try that.”

“o....kay”

he also told her i’d be a girl who’d grow up to love spellcheck (which i do lmao)

like ???? why not just??? teach me to spell????

there was this one dude who one day showed up, gave me a pink stuffed cat, and then asked me where i lived

funniest thing was he lived on the same street as me

something that is vivid in my memory is showing up to class one day and realizing that i was wearing my regular clothes over my pajamas

also we had fish

every day someone else was in charge of feeding them

one of the times it was my job, i grab the fish food and walk over to the tank only to find all of the fish floating on the top

i screamed “THE FISH CAN FLY?!?!?!?!?!”

everyone ran over, all of us scarred for life when Mr. G walks over and goes in the most normal voice ever “no theyre dead”

we held a funeral

the cause of death is still undetermined

3rd grade

this year just draws a blank for me

all i know is that whoever the teacher was, they neglected to teach me how to tell time from a clock

also we learned the Cotten Eyed Joe dance in gym around here

4th grade

i had two teachers this year

one was the same one from 1st grade, the other one was a total bitch

made a girl named hannah ball her eyes out once, never apologized

i was (and am) and avid reader, so my reading skills were high above average

instead of being proud of me she told me i was weird, not normal, and too smart for a 4th grader, so i MUST be cheating.

she was the start of a lot of self confidence issues for me ngl

this was around the time i went and got tested for ADHD (me and my grandmother almost broke down on the highway but thats another story), Mrs. M (the nice one) was super supportive when i told her why i was leaving early but Ms. S (bitch) told me ADHD wasn’t real and i just wanted to be special for once

she sucked, Ms. S

5th grade

this is getting super long so this’ll be the last one i do

but my teacher..... Mr. F was A+++++

he legitimately taught me math

we had i guess like,,, a buddie class we switched with sometimes

the teacher of that class was Mrs. R, who had crazy red hair and many freckles

at one point she referenced a meme and my entire class started screaming

also there was another Mrs. S (to differentiate this one will be called Mrs. Su)

she was kind of crazy

she was the astronomy teacher and she told us many times that the moon landing was faked

once she handed out sunscreen and had everyone put it on their whole body (this was in december, fyi)

Mr. F also hosted an ‘archeological dig’ which sounds cool but in reality he had a bunch of arcade prizes from his childhood buried in little flower pots we dug into with plastic spoons

also heres some stuff i cants pinpoint the time of/happened in multiple grades:

someone held a who-can-scream-the-most-like-a-goat contest

a guy named Makenzie won

remember we planned it while the teacher left the classroom so the teacher walks back in and one by one everyone in the room starts screaming, there was some applause, a few kids got a standing ovation

we cleaned out our desks in the middle of the year, i found 3 socks and a dog treat in mine

like how the fuck did any of those things get there

and where’s the fourth sock

b o t t l e f l i p p i n g

but no seriously there were at least five water bottles stuck in the ceiling in the cafeteria

my sorta friend charlie was obsessed with paper airplanes

one time he might’ve broken the world record for longest time in the air but he was counting in his head and it was at recess so there was no video

four square and gaga ball would be played no matter the setting, time, or conditions and it was super competitive

like if you could get to king in four square you got the everlasting respect of everyone

and everyone was super educated on four square special rules, special plays, that kinda shit

no but guys i grew up with bus stop, candy store, haunted house on mondays, haunted mansion on fridays, zombies was fair game unless it was Zach, Ryan, Chrissy or Vee

me and one other guy named andrew were the only known pjo fans, had the time of our LIVES making refrences

“HEY ANDREW IM NOBODY”

“I HAVE WAITED YEARS FOR YOU, NOBODY, COME HERE AND FACE YOUR DEATH”

“hey annabeth, i thought you looked like a princess when i first saw you. i printed out a picture you sent me casually and kept it with me. i snuck along on a quest so i could save you, endangering myself immensely. i held the sky for you. when you talk about your crush on luke, i get jealous. beckendorf understood, but hes dead.”

“ikr we’re literally the best of friends”

“RIGHT”

also the first time we finished mark of athena we were in the same classroom and we individually dropped the book, stood up, looked at each other, and screamed “WELL FUCK YOU TOO RICK RIORDAN”

#public school #percy jackson #percabeth #my childhood #you dont have to read this but i felt like posting it lol #if you've read this far #i applaud you #thanks for listening to my meaningless shit #im gonna be a comedian #school #school stories #adhd #kind of

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rosesvioletshardy · 4 years

Text

can we do it? - billy/four - chapter 3

chapter 3 is here and i’m surprised i’m still writing this story despite y’all don’t really read it (not really begging you guys to do so but it’s your choice) but it keeps me sort of busy until i get called into work and start school.

also this isn’t edited btw

summary: one team, seven people, two lovers, things are about to get crazy and zero and four don’t know if they can do it with everything that is going on

masterlist

# of words: 2,246

warnings: angst?, language, fluff?

taglist: (message or inbox me if you want to be tagged)

The next few days were a blur for everyone. Seven has officially met everyone but questioned as to why there were only six of them instead of eight and why they skipped six. Zero did the part and explained it to him despite One wanting her not to tell him and everyone could still see that she was grieving. One gave Four a talk about him and Zero and he felt more guilt than he could imagine. He didn’t know that One had practically forced her to say that they were only friends but even then she still wouldn’t talk to him. Not after the way he treated her. It was his turn with Seven to talk about what they do and talk about One. They were sitting in another trailer that wasn’t really occupied that he used to watch his shows that were filled with dvds with Wally the dog and the Beaver show One loved so much playing in the background. Four was sitting in a chair throwing random cds after seeing what they were as Seven asked him a question.

“Hey, what do you know about One?”

“Well, for starters, he loves Wally the dog. He’s obsessed with this beaver show. I think he’s an orphan now that I come to it actually. We got a little bet on it if you want to put some money in. He really got rid of every evidence about his existence that even Zero can’t find, but I think she knows.” he told him

“This is an interesting crew you got here, bro. How many missions have you guys run?” he asked

“Counting Florence? Uh, one.”

“One what?” Seven asked eyeing him confused

“Actually, no, there was, um this, like, mini-mission, so maybe one and a quarter. It was in Sicily. But Florence? Absolute shitshow. I mean, if I wasn’t there, probably more than one of us dead. That’s all I’m saying” four said turning to face him

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“I don’t fuck around”

“You realize I just buried myself in front of my family and friends?” “Yeah, One told me about that. Big military funeral. Guns popping, flags. It was pretty cool. At my funeral, there were only five people there and two of them left before the end. It is tough watching your mum cry at your grave. I feel like mine is still cursing at my grave for it. Love that woman, I do miss her, but you get over it. Anyways, this mission. I got a good feeling. I got a really good feeling about this mission.” Four said with a proud smile

“Yeah. how come you can’t find this guy?” Seven asked looking at a picture of Rovach’s brother

“I don’t know. Zero can usually find anyone but she’s been off since the last mission and isn’t in the right headspace for it. I tried telling her to take a break but she isn’t listening. To me or the advice. The only thing she said was that Americans caught him a few years back.”

“Americans?”

“I don’t know. Maybe Zero has something to do with it? Maybe Two as well, she has some sort of training that seems like it would tie into it. Not sure but that’s all she said and won’t tell me anything else without One’s permission.” Four told him as seven went and sat next to him

“What’s going on between the two of you? Are you guys dating? Did you date in the past? What is it?”

Four didn’t know how to answer the question because he still wasn’t over his feelings for her and neither was she but the two couldn’t be together and she wasn’t listening or talking to him. He sat there quietly as he tried to figure out something to say.

“Well, there isn’t anything going on between us because One has this rule that none of us can hook up and if we do, it basically has to be if we are undercover, with someone else, and it’s the last thing we need to do.” “But what about two and three? They seem like they’re hooking up.”

“Yeah I don’t know why he’s all up in our business when he should be paying attention to them but I think it has to do with the fact that we almost kissed and I guess he saw us. Which is really creepy if you think about it now. Also, maybe because he sees her as a little sister and he doesn’t want to get hurt again.” he said before finishing what he was talking about Rovach’s brother

“Back to what I was saying. The Americans caught him years back and gave him to his brother. The bald looking fella. You like him though, One?

“I mean, I guess I didn't really get to know him that much and we mainly talked about me. Feel like he was an asshole when he was younger.” Seven told him

“Yeah he's definitely an asshole, but a likable asshole, no?”

“No.”

“Well, out of all of us, probably likes you the most.” four said

“What about Zero? She seems to be on his good side and close to him”

“Yeah she was the first one recruited and knows most of her past. Thinks of her like a little sister. They’re like twins but not twins. They’re both good at hiding their trails and finding people and all that. From what I’ve heard they actually had a run with each other when she used his tech to find out all this stuff on American politicians that almost got her arrested before all of this. They both realized how helpful this stuff is since the government doesn't help anyone.”

One knew all about her past and he wondered if that was why he didn’t want someone like her to be with someone like Four but he didn’t tell either one of them that to make sure there wasn’t going to be drama between them.

“So you guys aren’t together? Even going behind his back and trying to secretly date?”

“No it’s too risky mate, and plus she said she only sees me as a brother and a friend”

“Damn. I haven't even known you guys a whole week and I think the two of you would’ve actually been good together.”

As they continued to talk, Zero walked past them and overheard the last of their conversation and how Seven liked her and Four together. It made her a little red until she remembered what One said and she continued to walk to where she was going.

They haven’t done much besides try and figure out where the four generals were and figure out a plan as to who was going to get the information out of them. Deciding it should be Three and Two since they have the most training and are more qualified for it they got everything ready. Four and Zero have started to talk again and are slowly reforming the friendship they had before. He tried to make it look like he wasn’t hurt by the fact that the first person he liked didn’t like him back and that he wasn’t threatened about dating her.

The day of the mission had everyone feeling nervous. Even though they had gone over everything they still felt like something was bound to go wrong like what happened in Florence. They had packed up everything they were going to need while in Las Vegas after finding out who is in charge of handing off Rovach’s brother. After gathering in their “Batcave”, Zero started to list off everything that was going to happen when they get there and how they all needed to be careful

“Listen, there are pretty much cameras covering every single inch of Las Vegas. You have to be careful about what or who you decide to go as or else they’ll have your face plastered on the news within the minute. Rovach set the four generals up in the penthouse and there’s going to a party, so be careful of who you injure.” zero told them

“Don’t worry, I used to be a hitman. I got this.” Three told her as he started packing everything

“Didn’t you almost shoot Four before Florence?” Five asked smirking remembering the memory

“Nearly took my ear out. Couldn’t hear anything out of the left ear for almost a week” Four grumbled

“I paid you back with the spaghetti carbonara and the many beers.”

The rest of the group couldn’t help but smile and laugh while One let out a sigh at the group he had created and how they were acting like children.

“This means that you can’t fuck up and you have to choose wisely. Even though she’s going to be staying, Zero is going to keep an eye on all three of us at all times and stay in communication with us. Who knows what they’re going to do while they're there.”

“Please I’m a grown man. I can handle my shit. I know what i’m going to be though”

“Don’t think that’s how the expression goes. Don’t handle you shit, flush it down the toilet like a grown ass man. You have to disappear. One more thing, just because all three of us are going to be doesn’t mean any of you can do shit.” One said mainly aiming at Zero and Four as their eyes darted each other for a split second

Now, we’re done. Leave and get ready.” He finished

The rest of the night was just them getting everything prepared as Zero made sure every form of communication was connected to each other was hooked up with one another and her computers. The group disbanded and went their separate ways back to their trailers before Four stopped in his tracks wanting to talk to Zero. He waited until everyone had left the room before he talked to her. Why he wanted to talk to her was so he can make amends but he didn’t know if she would talk to him or even want to be alone with him so he decided he wasn’t going to do anything and left her alone. Before he left, he took one last look at her and the way she was focused on getting everything set up. Yeah, he knew people as quick and smart as her, but he never has met anyone who was just as kind as her and would rather deal with other people’s problems rather than take on her own. She has been like that since she was a child, always had this maternal instinct to make sure everyone’s needs were put first. Maybe that was why she was so reserved and didn’t talk much of her own life that night and she made sure he didn’t feel uncomfortable when talking about his past life. Rather than hanging out with the crowds and going to parties throughout high school and college all the time, she would focus on her studies, only going every now and then.

Gathering up her stuff and the papers she had, but stopped as soon as she saw Four turn around and she didn’t stop him in time as he skated off back to his trailer. She let out a sigh and walked back to hers. It took her awhile to get adjusted to her new life and she still wasn’t used to how they lived. They had everything they could’ve asked for, yet it still didn’t feel like home for her no matter how many things she had with her from her past life. Turning on her music and getting ready for a bath to relax, she heard a knock on the door interrupting her quiet time. Setting everything down on the sink, she went back to the front. Opening the door she saw Four standing there with his hood up and hands in his pockets waiting.

“Hey”

“Hi”

The two stood there awkwardly for a few seconds before she remembered to invite him in instead of standing outside.

“I’m sorry, please come in.” she gestured moving out of the way letting Four step in. He looked around her place and noticed everything she talked about with him about herself and from what he saw that one time looked like everything she’d described. Vinyls were neatly stacked, fairy lights were hung all across, monitors that covered one corner of the room, and pictures of family and friends everywhere. He thought it felt right for her and more her style. The two of them walked over to her bed and sat down in quiet for what felt like forever before Four spoke up.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what? You didn’t do anything wro-” she tried to tell him before getting interrupted by him

“Yes I did. I treated you like shit even by not talking to you and just overall being me” he said

“But you didn’t do anything wrong. If anything, it’s my fault I'm the one who had to hide away their true feelings and then forced to say something I didn’t want to say.”

“Zero please, cut the b-” Four started to say before he felt lips on top of his.

At first, he was shocked until he loosened up and kissed her back. Their lips began to move together in sync as his hands moved to cup her face as hers snaked around his neck.

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carryonsimoncarryonbaz · 4 years

Text

Little Secrets

for @nightimedreamersworld from the prompt list and tags you posted. Thanks to @ninemagicks for leading the way.

From a tumblr prompt list by @mraculous and sent to the Carry On fandom by @nightimedreamersworld : ‘a mutual friend tried to introduce us, but we already knew each other from LARPing but we’re both too embarrassed to admit that so I jokingly said we used to date and oh god now our friend won’t stop interrogating us about it’ AU

Little Secrets, a Snowbaz LARPing AU (2774 words)

Simon

“Do you want to come over Friday? I can order in curry and I’ll even watch that Netflix thing you’re obsessed with, if you like,” Penny says, before taking another bite of her sandwich. I’ve already finished mine but I take the chance to steal one of her crisps. She never finishes them. I hate seeing them go to waste.

No one should ever bin salt and vinegar crisps. It’s a crime against humanity.

It’s been harder to coordinate our schedules this term. Even meeting for lunch is a treat. We’ve not had a night in for weeks. It’s not as easy, now that we don’t live together.

And it’s not often that Penny offers to let me decide what we watch. Says she’s got standards and I watch too much “brain numbing rot.”

Castlevania is not rot. It’s fucking brilliant. My costume for this campaign is based on Trevor Belmont. It’s wicked good.

I’m gutted to have to turn her down though. Friday’s going to have to be a no. We’ve been gearing up for this campaign for weeks and I can’t miss it.

“I’m sorry. I can’t Friday.”

Penny looks at me over the top of her glasses. “Why not?”

She doesn’t know about this. About the LARP club I joined. It’s something I started doing over the summer, when she was away in India with her family.

I was bored. And lonely.

I don’t know why I haven’t mentioned it. It’s not that I’m embarrassed about it. I’m not. It’s a hell of a lot of fun swinging a sword around and taking part in campaigns. Even the costume workshops are entertaining.

Everyone’s so friendly. Well, most of them are, at any rate.

Penny tends to frown upon things like this. Things that don’t serve a purpose. Making new friends doesn’t count as serving a purpose. She’s told me more than once that having too many friends is an unnecessary burden. “There’s only so many hours in a day, Simon. Two, three people, that’s all any of us have time for.”

That’s all Penny has time for. I’m lucky to be one of her three people.

Telling her I’m spending two nights a week LARPing with near strangers while dressed as a medieval monster hunter likely won’t go over too well.

Especially as that amounts to two nights a week I’m not doing my coursework or revising. Sacrilege.

“Uh. I’ve got . . . uh, there’s a study group.”

“On a Friday night?” Her eyes widen.

“Yes.” The shorter the answer the better with Penny. I can’t get caught in a lie if I’m barely saying anything.

“For which class?”

Fuck it all. I can feel my leg starting to jiggle. She’ll know the gig is up if I don’t answer soon.

“Medieval Literature.” Thank fuck I’m actually taking that class this semester or she’d be onto me.

It’s not that far off, anyway. Most of the costumes qualify as Medieval.

“Dedicated lot.”

“Quite.”

“It’s good to see you being so devoted to your studies, Simon, what with applications for graduate programs coming up.”

As if I needed the reminder.

“Maybe we can try to find some time next week, then.”

“That’d be great.” I reach out to steal another crisp. She smacks my hand away. “I do miss you, Pen.”

Penny pushes the bag of crisps over to me with a sigh, but she’s smiling. “I miss you too, Si.”

It’s not until the next week that we manage to make plans. And it’s not for curry and Netflix.

We’re at Foyles, having spent the last hour listening to one of Penny’s favorite poets do a reading and a Q & A. Penny’s dead gone for Nikita Gill. I thought it was mostly because she’s a femininst and Indian but I see the point, now that I’ve heard her read from her latest book. She’s brilliant.

Penny’s in line to get her book signed and I’m just sort of shuffling along with her, feeling like a bit of a tit, seeing as I’ve not got a book myself.

Should I? I feel I ought to at least have something, but it’s too late now, we’re almost to the signing table.

Predictably, Penny gets into an intense conversation with the author while I stand there, shifting from foot to foot uncomfortably and nodding every so often. The store clerk finally gets Penny to shove off. She drags it out for another minute and then we’re finally clear of that scene.

I’m ready to head to the pub for a bite, but Penny stops down the line to talk to someone from her seminar and I’m left at loose ends again. It’s mostly uni types in the crowd, nearly all of them intense and bright eyed as they talk over each other now and indulge in some excitable hand waving. There’re a few blokes here and there, moody looking types with man-buns, horn rimmed glasses, and oversized jumpers. I recognize one or two from my classes but no one I know well.

Penny stops to talk to another person and I’m in despair over dinner. I wander over to a book display and idly flip through some paperbacks as I wait for her. Thankfully it’s not more than a few minutes later when I hear her call out to me. “Simon!”

I trot over, more than ready to make a run for the pub but her first words aren’t “let’s get out of here.”

“Si, I want you to meet my friend.”

Oh, fuck. We’re never going to get to the pub at this rate. I plaster a smile on my face and turn to say ‘ hello’ to whoever it is Penny is bound and determined to have me meet.

And I freeze.

“This is Baz. He’s in my Modern British Poets seminar and he’s almost as keen about vampire lore as you are.”

I raise my eyes and meet Baz’s cool stare, that one eyebrow of his arched as he meets my gaze.

Fuck. I don’t need to be introduced to Baz. I know Baz. He’s the Mage in our campaign. He’s a fucking ruthless one too, dead brill with his spells, even though he’s a bit shit when he’s got to do any swordwork.

That was my main job on the summer campaign--give him cover so he could cast his spells and decipher his runes and whatever else it is that Mages do.

I’m front line offense now--cut down anyone in my path, long before they can get near the rest of our party. It’s up to Gareth and Niall to have Baz’s back this time around.

I can’t very well pretend I don’t know him, but I really don’t want to be explaining that I’m in a LARP club to Penny in the middle of this bookstore, not in front of Baz.

Fuck.

I give Baz a pleading look which I’m sure only confuses him, based on the way his eyebrow arches up even more. I don’t know how to convey “don’t tell Penny you know me from the Dragonknight campaign” with just my eyes.

“I’m well acquainted with Simon, Bunce.”

I am well and truly fucked.

“You two know each other?” Penny gives me a penetrating look.

Baz keeps talking. “Yes, we’ve been--” but I interrupt him before he can say anything more.

“He’s my ex.”

I have literally no idea why I said that. And there’s no taking it back, now that it’s out there.

Two sets of eyes goggle at me, both of Baz’s eyebrows reaching for his hairline now. Penny looks scandalized.

“Your what?” she asks.

“My ex-boyfriend,” I clarify, literally begging Baz to go along with this with my eyes. I probably look like a gormless twat. Just go along with it, I try to broadcast that thought across the two feet of space between us.

“Your ex-boyfriend,” Penny says flatly. “How do I not know about this, Simon?”

Baz looks just as curious, but thank Christ he doesn’t say anything.

“Oh, you now, summer romance, short-lived fling, gone but not forgotten.” I’m literally babbling.

“Very short lived,” Baz says drily. “So short lived I’d be surprised if he had mentioned it, Bunce.” He’s smirking, the smug bastard. Arms crossed over his chest, that one fucking eyebrow mocking me now.

“Yes, ah, you know, summer.”

“I’d say I don’t know at all, Simon.�� Penny’s looking between us, a suspicious look on her face. “Why don’t you fill me in. I’d love to hear about my best friend and my study partner getting together and me being none the wiser.”

Baz is full on grinning now. “Yes, why don’t you tell her, Simon? Unless you’d rather I did?”

I think the fuck not.

“Ah. Well. You know we met . . . ah . . . at the library.”

“What on earth were you doing at the library?”

What the fuck was I doing at the library? I never go to the library and Penny knows that.

Fuck.

“Wasn’t that when your laptop was being wonky?” Baz chimes in.

I scowl at him. Only one of us needs to be fabricating this tale and that someone is me.

“At least that’s what I remember you saying, when you came in that night.”

Bloody hell.

“Uh, yeah. That’s what it was. Had to come in and do a lit search on premises.”

“It’s a good thing I was working the desk that night,” Baz says, uncrossing his arms and sliding his hands into his jeans pockets.

My eyes follow his hands down and keep going.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen Baz in jeans before. Tunics? Yes. Majestic robes? Yes.

Elegant, fitted jeans that are snug all the right spots? Well, I’d remember seeing that before, is all I’m saying.

I drag my eyes back up to his face. “Uh, yes, um, good thing.”

I didn’t know he worked at the library.

“Simon came in, just before closing time, with the idea that he was going to do a search and print it all out in mere minutes.” He’s really warming to the subject and I’ve lost control of this whole situation.

“Typical,” Penny says and I’m outraged.

“What?” I sputter.

She nods her head at Baz. “He gave you those puppy dog eyes and that crooked little smile of his, didn't he?”

“Now, see here, I’m the one telling the story and–”

But Baz steamrolls right over me. “Oh, you know he did, Bunce.” He gives me a fond look that makes my face heat up.

What’s he playing at? I rub at the back of my neck, feel the clammy sweat starting to form there.

“Got you to do the whole thing for him, didn’t he?”

This is pure slander. I’m not going to stand for this.

“I couldn’t resist his roguish charm.”

“Listen, now--”

Baz just keeps talking. “I had no idea he was such a shameless flirt.” He shakes his head at me and actually manages to look almost mournful, the lying bastard. “Charmed me, wined me, dined me. But once his laptop was functional and the research project complete, just a few short weeks later, he dumped me without a second thought.”

“Simon!” Penny’s glaring at me now. She’s bought his whole fabrication and I’ve got no one but myself to blame for this farce.

“Just wait a bloody minute!” I yelp.

Baz hunches his shoulders and lowers his head. “By text, no less.”

“Really, Simon, how could you?” Penny’s all righteous indignation, her hand coming to rest on Baz’s arm, eyes blazing as she rakes her gaze over me. “I go away for a few weeks and you not only manage to seduce my friend but then unceremoniously dump him by text? You know better than that. You were a bloody wreck when Agatha did that to you!”

And now she’s airing my entire sordid dating history to Baz in the middle of a bloody Foyles on a Thursday night and I’ve not even had dinner. This takes the biscuit, I swear to god.

“Penny, listen, it was nothing like that, really, I swear.”

She’s got her arms crossed over her chest. “Then how was it, Simon?” Cold as ice. You’d think Baz was her best friend and confidant, not me.

This is a fucking disaster. I’d have been better off telling her about the LARPing.

I am going to tell her about the LARPing. It’s the only way out of this mess.

“Listen, Pen, I’m sorry. I thought you’d be upset I was wasting my time--”

“Wasting your time?” Baz interrupts. “Is that what you’re calling our two weeks, then?”

“That’s not what I meant!” I’m going to let a berserker just go by me and wreck Baz this week, I swear I am. Won’t even brandish my sword at him, I’ll just point him in Baz’s direction. It’d serve the bastard right. “Listen, Penny, I was going to tell you, but I was a bit embarrassed--”

“As well you should be, the way you behaved.” Penny interrupts me this time and I have reached my fucking limit.

“Would the two of you let me finish one bloody sentence?”

Two expectant faces meet mine but I swear there’s a glint in Baz’s eyes and his lips quirk like he’s trying to keep himself from laughing. Arsehole. I may go after him myself this week, if he’s not careful. Go rogue. It’d be worth it, just to wipe the smug look off his face.

He’s got his hair down tonight. I don’t know why I didn’t notice that earlier. He’s usually got it up when we’re–fucking hell, why am I thinking about his hair right now?

“Ok, so let me finish what I’ve got to say or I swear to Christ I am going to go off.” Baz inclines his head and waves a hand at me in a ‘have at it’ gesture. Penny frowns but holds her tongue. “So, while you were gone this summer I got a bit caught up in LARPing.”

“You did what?” Penny asks.

“LARPing. Live action role play.”

“Whatever for?”

“I don’t know. For something to do.”

“And why are you telling me this now?”

I pull at my hair and groan. “Because that’s how I met Baz. He’s not my ex. I’ve never gone out with him. I just made that all up, rather than tell you about the whole LARP business.”

“Why on earth would you concoct all that nonsense, Simon?” Penny’s looking completely perplexed but Baz has this cheeky grin, the absolute wanker.

He’s got a dimple in his left cheek.

Fuck.

“Because I thought you’d be irritated. It’s not something that serves a purpose.”

“Why would I care what you do with your free time?”

Oh my fucking god.

I give my hair another yank. “Aren’t you always telling me I should spend more time on my studies? Keep my social life a bit more contained?”

Penny has the audacity to shrug. “I’m not your keeper. If you need to swing a sword around to let off some steam, far be it from me to argue.”

She turns to Baz and smacks him on the arm. “What were you thinking, going along with all this nonsense of his tonight? I’d not expect that kind of foolishness from you, Baz.”

Baz leans against a bookshelf and flashes her a grin. “Let’s just say my curiosity was piqued, when he threw that ex comment out there. And you know how I love to spin a good story, Bunce. He certainly wasn’t going to pull one over on you by himself.” His eyes light on me and there’s something smouldering in the depths of them. Something I’d like to get a closer look at.

“Well, you’re ridiculous, the both of you,” Penny says. “You deserve each other, honestly.” She shakes her head. “Anyway, I’m starved. It’s past time we went to dinner.”

“Enjoy the rest of your evening.” Baz’s eyes never leave mine. “I’ll see you Friday then, Snow?”

He used my LARPing alias.

I liked it better when he was calling me Simon.

Penny hooks her arm around his. “Come join us, Baz. Since you and Simon already know each other so well.”

He adjusts his book bag on his shoulder. “I suppose I could do with some dinner.”

Penny keeps her hold on his arm and leans back to look at me behind Baz’s back.

And then she winks.

I think I’m the one that’s been played.

And when Baz’s knee knocks into mine as he squeezes into our booth at the pub I realise I don’t mind one bit.

also on ao3 Little Secrets

#LARPing AU #prompt list #my writing #my fics #thank you for this list #this one leaped out at me #fun list and fun prompts #non magical AU #of course Simon watches Castlevania

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iamtheblondestblonde · 4 years

Text

Slides and Serendipity

Part One (4.7 k)

AN: Here it is!!! (At least the beginning of it). Quarantine has finally given me the time to write something that I’ve wanted to for a while. I want to start off by saying that English is not my first language so I want to say sorry for any mistakes in advance. I have decided against using Y/N (so sorry) because it’s going to be long and I need the character to be developed so I might as well name her. There’s also some smut planned but I’ll put a warning when we’ve reached that point. Feedback is always appreciated and with that said, let’s get down to business.

Warnings: language

It was a beautiful day and the Dallas sun was truly living up to its reputation, beating down at everyone spending their time at the dog park. I had brought along a blanket and watched Yogi run circles around the trees to my left. Even with my light summer dress I was feeling the heat and just as I was considering moving to the shade something bright jumped on my blanket before zooming off.

I hadn’t even fully registered what was happening when a guy literally jumped over me, chasing after what I now recognized as a Labrador.

“Gerry stop that! Drop it right now!”, he was yelling but the dog didn’t listen at all. This caught Yogi’s attention who was now all over the place trying to figure out what caused the commotion surrounding his mom.

It was only then that I realized that one of my slides was missing. I’d taken them off half an hour ago so I could lie down and properly relax in the sun. I cursed before springing to my feet and following the dude that was still chasing his dog around the park, Yogi at my heels. When I finally caught up to him, I couldn’t hold back and said: “You know if you keep chasing him he’s only going to keep running away because he thinks it’s a game.”

He finally stopped running to turn around and for the first time I got a good look at him. I barely reached up to his shoulders, tiny next to his muscular build and even though he hid his eyes behind sunglasses, I couldn’t help the feeling of recognition that surged me. I knew I had seen him somewhere before, but my mind hadn’t caught up yet.

The lab had now dropped my shoe several feet from where we were now standing and looked up to his owner expectantly.

“What would you propose then?”, he asked while looking down at me with raised eyebrows. For a second I considered sending Yogi after my slide but I wasn’t entirely sure that he’d get the command right and would instead start chasing the lab. Then I remembered his treats in my small cooler.

“Give me a sec, I might have something that could help.”

I had made some dog ice cream last week and after commanding Yogi to stay put I jogged over to my spot and pulled out a baggie with a self-made ice cream sandwich that I had brought to cool my dog off after spending the day in the sun.

“I try to get him over here with this and you go and grab my slide. Don’t worry this is dog-friendly”, I assured him before taking the sandwich and crouching down. Yogi whined when I didn’t give the treat to him but stayed put, even at four months old he was very disciplined.

“His name is Gerry”, the guy next to me explained and I started to call for the dog, cooing for him to come over. After a few seconds he finally realized that I had food in my hands and happily abandoned my slide for the deliciousness that I was offering. Not soon after my hand was covered in slobber and the ice cream sandwich was gone.

“He got your shoe good, I’m so so sorry this happened. I don’t know what’s going on with him today”, the guy apologized before holding out my now ruined slide. He had managed to chew the side in a way that made the top come off at one side. I sighed at the loss of one of my most comfortable pairs of shoes.

“Ugh, this is what you get for wearing Givenchy to the dog park, I should’ve known better”, I responded defeated but I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped me. The situation was so absurd.

The guy started laughing as well and extended his hand to me to introduce himself.

“These aren’t the best circumstances to meet but I’m Tyler and this is Gerry as you know already, only usually his behavior is at least a little better, I swear. He hasn’t chewed on shoes in months.”

The name was the last piece that I needed to place him and I shook his hand, knowing full well who was standing across from me.

“I’m Olivia and don’t beat yourself up about it, at least your dog has enough taste to go for designer. This is Yogi by the way”, I mentioned to my dog that was now excitedly sniffing Gerry. At least Yogi had taste as well because if he had to make new doggy friends, they might as well belong to famous hockey players.

“They seem to be getting along rather well”, Tyler laughed at the way our dogs were now circling each other before chasing each other around the park. I came here to tire Yogi out so there was no way I was interrupting his play time now. I contemplated for a second before inviting Tyler to sit with me. We moved my blanket over to the shade before sitting down next to each other. I offered him a drink out of the cooler.

“You certainly came prepared”, Tyler commented with a smile before gulping down large sips of the cool water. Relying on my shades to keep me covered I openly ogled the way he swallowed, which was hotter than one might think. I never would have thought that my day would look like this but I certainly wasn’t complaining with that view.

“Yeah Yogi has a lot of energy so I was planning on letting him run around until he was tired and knowing him that can take hours”, I laughed lightly, watching him run away from Gerry at full speed, the poor lab had no chance.

“What kind of dog is it? I don’t think I’ve ever seen one like him before.”

“I actually don’t know 100%. I found him with the rest of his litter abandoned when I was on vacation in Greece. From the coloring of his siblings we know that one of his parents had to have been a Husky and my guess is some kind of Shepherd-Collie mix for the other one but I don’t know for sure. He’s the only one with a white coat and I knew I had to take him with me”, I explained and leaned back onto my elbows, enjoying the few rays of sunshine that hit my face through the trees.

“Aw. I think it’s great that you rescued him. Did his siblings find new homes as well?”

It was sweet that Tyler was showing such an interest in Yogi and soon after we were trying to trump each other with stupid dog stories.

“One time I was walking into an arena when I saw a super cute dog and, me being me, I stopped to pet him when the little shit jumps up and bites my ass in front of everyone there. It was so embarrassing”, he relayed and at this point I was wiping away tears from laughing so hard.

“Okay you win I give up. I can’t possibly top getting humiliated in front of fans”, I responded, only realizing afterwards that I’d given away the fact that I knew who he was.

“So you know who I am”, Tyler simply stated and I nodded my head.

“I may have only moved to Dallas last week but even I can’t escape the obsession with hockey. I lived in Denver before and I’ve even seen you on the ice a couple of times, but at first I thought you were some football player though.”

“Why football?”, it was now his time to laugh.

“I don’t know. I recognized you from somewhere and your build told me you must be an athlete. Even with you towering over me you’re not super tall or lanky enough so basketball was out, I literally don’t know any American soccer teams or Baseball players and I forgot about ice hockey so that only left football, although I don’t really follow football.”

“I’m just going to ignore the fact that you forgot hockey because the more important question is: Do you follow ice hockey?”

“I’m slowly starting to understand the obsession with it”, I responded, knowing full well that my statement could be interpreted as me flirting, even though I was actually talking about the speed of the games that I sometimes missed in other sports. Partly at least.

Tyler beamed back at me and pushed his hand through his hair, a move I had come to cherish. Before he could say anything else though, Gerry came bouncing over with Yogi in tow, dropping a stick in front of our feet, both looking expectantly at us. Tyler got up first and then extended his hand to pull me up beside him.

“Do you want to do the honors?”, Tyler asked and held out the slobbery stick to me. We took turns throwing it as far away as we could and it was no surprise that his throws were way longer than mine. At some point we’d finally managed to tire the dogs out so we laid back on the blanket, the dogs resting at our feet and sipping some water from the bowl that I had brought.

Tyler and I continued our conversation, soon talking about more personal things than hockey.

“I gave myself four weeks to adjust before starting to work again and I’m really glad I still have almost three of them left to explore the city. I’ve been outside every day just walking around and Yogi has been loving it. We haven’t hit any of the sights though because I wanted him to adjust first”, I explained and pushed up my shades to properly look him in the eyes as he’d done the same minutes ago.

“I can show you around if you want. I mean I’ve lived here for quite a bit and I know all of the best doggy friendly places and if you want to do something without them I know some great spots as well.”

I was surprised at his offer, an international superstar athlete being my guide around the city was something I would’ve never seen coming. Nevertheless, it was a great opportunity because even though I knew some people in the area from college I still wanted to make new friends.

We exchanged phone numbers and seeing as he was off for a bit as well we decided to go hiking together tomorrow.

“Is it okay if I bring Gerry’s brothers as well?”, Tyler asked me as I was folding my blanket.

“He has brothers?”, I asked in surprise because I may have recognized him, but didn’t actually know that much about his personal life besides the stuff that he’d told me.

“Well they’re not actually brothers, but I have three labs in total. Cash and Marshall were just too tired to come with me today. They’re probably wondering where we are though, I was only planning to be gone for like an hour or so”, he added sheepishly, again sliding his hand through his hair before rubbing his neck.

I had ignored my phone for most of the day, but a quick look told me that we had spent four hours talking on that blanket. I hadn’t even noticed how far the sun had travelled across the blue sky until now. Before I could apologize for keeping him he waved me off as if reading my thoughts.

“Don’t worry, I had a great time though”, he assures me with a big smile. A smile that I had come to appreciate over the course of the afternoon. I looked down smiling and it was only then that I realized that there was no way that I could walk back in my ruined shoes, knowing full-well that the hot pavement would burn my bare feet.

Tyler looked down with me and quickly understood my dilemma.

“Don’t worry, I can give you a lift home, it’s the least I could do. I am somehow responsible for this after all”, he laughed and I smiled at him. I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d smiled and laughed this much in one day.

We leashed the dogs again and made our way over to where he’d parked his car. As soon as the grass gave way to burning hot concrete he motioned for me to jump on his back.

“You’ll hurt yourself if you walk on this, trust me I know from experience”, he pleaded and crouched even farther down after handing me Garry’s leash as well. I swung my cooler over my back, grabbed both leashes in one hand and hopped on, quickly wrapping my legs around his torso. He straightened up and wrapped his hands around my thighs for stability. For a second the feel of his big hands on my naked thighs was clouding my thoughts. To my defense, with the move and everything it had been a while since I was last touched like this by a guy.

Tyler didn’t seem to notice anything and kept up our conversation all the way to his car. I raised my eyebrows at the black G wagon.

“You know you’re gonna get fur all over those seats, right?”, I asked skeptically because I know full well that this was not a cheap car. Tyler just laughed and opened the door on the back, exposing his trunk that was covered in blankets.

“It’s fine, my dogs sit back here all the time and the blankets make it easy to clean.”

After putting everything and everyone away we hopped in the car and Tyler asked me to type in my address.

“You’re shitting me, right?”, he exclaimed and seeing my confused look he went on to explain “That’s like two streets over from where I live”

I couldn’t believe the coincidence, this was too much, right?

I woke up early next morning, the sun streaming through the big windows in my bedroom and hitting me square in the face. The layout of the house made it possible to watch both sunrises and sunsets from my bed but even with me being a morning person, sunrises were a rare sight.

Yogi started wagging his tail as soon as he saw me and I wasted no time in letting him out into the backyard. The size of the well-kept area was one of the reasons I had bought this house weeks ago and with some furniture changes and other small adjustments I’d truly made this place my new home, loving the way it turned out.

I looked at my phone to see a text from Tyler, still not 100% convinced that yesterday actually happened.

Tyler: Pick you up at 11? Gotta finish my workout first

We had decided that he’d drive again because I knew that there was no way I could fit four dogs into my new car. Even with the G wagon it would be a tight fit.

Me: Sounds perfect. I’m bringing some snacks so do you want me to make some for you too?

The sound of my mixer tuned out the notifications, so it wasn’t until after I’d poured myself my smoothie that I saw his next message, even though he’d only taken seconds to respond.

Tyler: Sounds amazing as long as there’s no olives involved

Me: Olives aren’t a good hiking snack and besides they’re absolutely disgusting

This time it took him a bit longer to reply so by the time my phone pinged I had already finished cutting apples and bananas into my porridge.

Tyler: That sentence just made you 10x more attractive than you already are but I gotta go now, see you later

After my comment about starting to understand the appeal of hockey our conversation had never really lost the flirty undertone, so this wasn’t totally out of place but nevertheless it was unexpected.

With a smile I grabbed my breakfast and sat down on the patio furniture, enjoying the sun and laughing as Yogi chased a butterfly across the yard. I snapped some pictures for social media and my friends and found myself missing my Denver girls all of a sudden. I needed to find new friends here asap.

After some cleaning to waste time I found myself in my closet, trying to figure out what to wear. Even with August coming to an end, Dallas was still very hot and I still hadn’t gotten used to the subtropical climate here. There was no way I’d make it through the day in anything that covered my arms or legs. I finally decided on some running shorts and a light top over a sports bra, praying that the airy materials would help with the heat. To avoid a sunstroke I put on a matching baseball cap, pulled my ponytail through the hole and messed up some strands for that ‘effortless’ look, that was never truly effortless.

Yogi was still in the background by the time I made my way downstairs again, this time heading back to the kitchen. The big kitchen was another reason to buy this house, as I loved to cook and knew my way around the stove. Cutting lemons and cucumber for the water I put two bottles into a backpack and then moved on to cut carrots in sticks and the stuff I needed for sandwiches.

I had just finished stuffing everything into the backpack when my doorbell rang. Yogi started barking of course, a habit I hadn’t gotten him to drop yet, and followed me to the door. Tyler was casually leaning against my entrance and smiled as soon as I opened the door. I let Yogi sniff him, finally deeming him to be safe before reaching out and hugging him. His arms around me were gone too soon though as he bent down to greet his new friend. I grabbed a harness and a leash and followed Tyler to his car.

“I hope it’s okay that I’m gonna put Yogi in the trunk with Gerry. It’s not that I don’t trust him to sit on the backseat with Cash or Marshall, in fact he’s probably already raised better than any of them but I just thought…”

“Tyler it’s fine, it’s your car anyway and besides Gerry and Yogi already know each other”, I interrupted his rambling and waved him off. He opened the backdoor and two labs hopped out before sniffing first Yogi then me. As soon as everyone got acquainted, we loaded up the car again and Tyler pulled out of my driveway.

“See, over there that’s my house”, Tyler explained, pointing to a house on our left as we drove by.

“No way, I’ve walked past this house almost every day because it’s on the way to the park.”

“Just admit that you’re stalking me woman”, Tyler laughed and I hit his arm before laughing as well. The rest of the drive continued with friendly banter and music before he finally pulled into a parking spot. It was a bit of a struggle to finally get a leash on all four dogs and I offered to take one of the dogs to even things out.

“Here, take Cash. He isn’t as crazy as Gerry so you don’t have to worry about him pulling or anything.”

I grabbed Cash’s leash from Tyler and crouched down to pet him, soon surrounded by all four dogs pawing at me because they wanted a share of my attention. Tyler just laughed at my misery without making a move to help me, instead taking pictures of me almost being pushed down. At least he offered to carry the backpack after I’d finally gotten all furry friends to calm down.

Even with it being a weekday, we passed lots of other people enjoying the sunny weather. Tyler was wearing a snapback and sunglasses to avoid attention but we still didn’t get very far without him being recognized by a group of girls. He mouthed a ‘Sorry’ to me while handing me the other leashes. The girls seemed to be in college age and were curiously looking me up and down.

“Do you want me to take pictures of you?”, I asked politely and the girls nodded excited. I tried my best to keep the camera still with the leashes in my left hand but Tyler kept snickering at me pushing the dogs away from me. The girls were surprisingly nice and as soon as they were done they continued walking, only to stop shortly after to ogle Tyler and me.

“Water break?”, Tyler asked and I nodded, walking around him to grab the bottles.

“Damn you even put stuff in it, I’m not used to such luxury”, he joked about the lemon and cucumber slices but I gave him a pointed stare. We both knew that he was used to a lot of luxuries, even if detox water might not be one of them.

The group of girls was still standing a couple of meters away from us and I was pretty sure they were now, rather unsuccessfully, taking sneaky pictures of us. Tyler noticed as well and sighed.

“I’m sorry about them, every time I’m seen with a member of the female species the fans go crazy”, he apologized but I waved him off.

“Honestly it’s fine, it’s a part of your life. I know how fangirls work and while I’m not overjoyed that my picture will be all over social media, I don’t really care because I’m having a great time”, I responded, squeezing his forearm at the last part. I knew I was pushing it, with the girls still watching, but I needed him to know that I wouldn’t let this ruin our time together. Tyler was funny, constantly making me laugh and it didn’t hurt that he was easy on the eyes as well. I was determined to not let this put a damper on our day.

He squeezed my shoulder in return before muttering a thanks and turning around so I could put the water bottles back. We then continued our hike as if nothing happened, only being stopped by fans a handful of times. After a particularly steep slope Tyler looked down at me in surprise.

“How are you not out of breath at all? We literally spent the last five minutes practically crawling up that hill”, he exclaimed, sounding a little bit winded. I guess even the stamina of athletes had its limits and I started laughing at his incredulous expression.

“I’m used to hiking in mountains Tyler, this is nothing compared to them. Besides, Denver’s altitude is well over a kilometer higher than what we’re currently at. My lungs are still used to a lot less oxygen”, I explained, still smiling. We continued for a little bit before he suddenly stopped in his tracks, almost making me smack into him.

“Wait, you said kilometer, not feet. I can’t believe I haven’t asked this before, but are you not American?”

I looked at him for a second before bursting out laughing again. We’d literally talked over almost anything and everything but somehow my hometown had never come up.

“No I’m not. I’m actually German, I moved to the US when I was 18 and lived here ever since. First in Cambridge, then Denver and now Dallas.”

“But you don’t have an accent?!”, he sputtered, making me laugh even harder.

“Not all Germans have that terrible accent that’s always in the movies. I started learning English almost twenty years ago and I lost the accent at some point. It still comes out a little bit when I’m drunk or angry though”, I told him and he did another double take.

“Now I have to get you drunk to hear for myself but this leads me to another question, and again I can’t believe I have to ask this only now, but how old are you?”

“I’m 25. In Germany they’re big on foreign languages so we started learning English in school when I was 7 or 8.”

After that our conversation seemed to only focus on my home country but I was happy to answer all of his questions. His interest in the culture was kind of cute and he tried his best to remember and pronounce the few words of German he’d picked up from his time in Switzerland. It was no surprise at all that most of them were anything but PG-13 but it was still very entertaining. I only hoped no one else understood him saying that he wanted to hook up with me in terrible German.

At one point we stopped to eat the lunch that I’d packed for us and the dogs were happily munching away on their treats.

“Mmm this is good”, Tyler praised after taking the first bite out of his sandwich. I only smiled at him because I had my mouth full and we continued our conversation between bites.

“So you like to cook or do your abilities only extend to delicious sandwiches?”, he asked me afterwards before throwing three carrot sticks in his mouth at the same time.

“I love cooking and making all kinds of food. In Germany people don’t get takeout as often as Americans so the habit of preparing home cooked meals has stuck with me over the years. It also helps with healthy eating. I don’t diet or anything like that but I still like to keep it clean.”

“So next time I’m hungry but too lazy to make food I’ll just walk over to your place?”, he asked jokingly but I told him that he’d always be welcome and I meant it. Not only was I in desperate need of any kind of social interaction but I’d never turn a hunky hockey player away from my doorstep.

All day I’d secretly checked him out, mesmerized by the way his thigh muscles moved below his shorts, his broad shoulders, and those strong tattooed arms. This guy was the walking definition of a hunk and while having him in my kitchen wasn’t where I wanted him the most, it was definitely a start.

“About getting you drunk, I’m having some people over for a party starting tomorrow afternoon. You should come if you’re free”, he told me as we were driving back to our neighborhood. I didn’t even need to think about his invitation because there was no way that I’d turn down spending more time with him.

“Of course I’ll come. Do I need to bring anything with me?”

“You should probably wear a swimsuit underneath your clothes, most people end up in the pool at one point.”

By the time Tyler pulled into my driveway it was almost time to start preparing dinner and I had an idea.

“You want to come in and help me cook? I’m not really in the mood to eat alone again.”

It was a risky move but I really hoped he’d take me up on my offer. Eating by yourself night after night could get pretty boring. My friends in the area had all been busy with work during the week and I was sick of Yogi being my only company, even if he was adorable.

“Sure. I should probably shower first though but I can come back after that.”

I told him I’d text him as soon as I was finished cleaning up myself and then he pulled out of the driveway again. I tried to keep my shower as short as possible but the cool water had felt way too good on my overheated body so I’d ended up taking longer than planned. Afterwards I pulled on some yoga pants and a t shirt, leaving my hair to air dry before texting Tyler to come over.

Not even five minutes later he was standing in my doorstep again, now dressed in sweats and smiling down at me.

Tyler was a great sous chef and while he chopped vegetables, I prepared everything else. The easy flow of conversation continued all the way through dinner and even though you’d think that at some point we’d run out of topics we just kept on talking, never having any awkward moments in between. I was almost sad to see him go after we finished cleaning up but I knew that he was probably exhausted after his morning workout and being on his feet for hours and to be honest I was just as tired.

Part Two here

#nhl #nhl imagine #tyler seguin #dallas stars #fic #fanfiction #ice hockey #quarantine #dallas #hockey writing #nhl hockey #hockey #fanfic #Slides and Serendipity #hot hockey players

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theunderdogwrites · 3 years

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2020: The Year I Lost My Ass

Well, we reached the end of that toilet roll only to start another one, because that is what we do for as long as we are allowed to continue revolutions around the sun – we keep going.

2020 was a terrible year for so many. My brain is incapable of processing the number of losses suffered on a global scale. Be it jobs, security, rights, sanity, relationships or life. My brain is not just incapable of these calculations, it has plain refused to entertain those thoughts on behalf of my heart. My heart, that sensitive little blood pumping work horse who not once allows itself to stop. Thank goodness.

I don’t believe the majority of people are willing and able to bring themselves to fully comprehend what was lost in 2020.

Here is a list of a few more losses suffered last year:

- People lost their shit. And over the most ridiculous things like toilet paper, having to wear a mask to secure toilet paper and being held to the consequences resulting from not wearing a mask when asked to while attempting to purchase toilet paper. Pause for a moment and let that last sentence hang around in your mind. 2020 made that happen. I didn’t make it up! Recently I saw a news piece showing a man (40’s) lying down on the floor in a Costco to protest being asked to wear a mask. He spoke loudly, he beat his hands at his sides and wildly kicked his legs when an employee asked him to get up. Now, I am not judging for I too have participated in such behaviour MANY times. Granted I was three, but hey… some of us mature faster than others.

- People lost their damn minds. 2020 should be dubbed “The Year of The Karen”. For those of you not in the know about the Karen phenomenon, here is a description courtesy of Urban Dictionary:

“Karen is a pejorative term used in the United States and other English-speaking countries for a woman perceived as entitled or demanding beyond the scope of what is appropriate or necessary. A common stereotype is that of a white woman who uses her privilege to demand her own way at the expense of others.’

Basically, a Karen is a I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER type person (There is a male equivalent, but it seems no one can agree on the name… Chad, Terry, Kyle, Kevin, Steve). You can often find a Karen on her cellphone calling the police to report a black man who lives in her neighborhood, simply living his life in her neighbourhood. I didn’t make that up either.

More recently a Karen was videoed in a UPS store claiming that she didn’t have to wear a mask because that space was government property and not a private business. Would it be safe to say that most Karen types suffer from a lack of oxygen to their brain? Possibly. But that would involve science and Karen types DO NOT enjoy hard facts.

As always when I download my thoughts into reality, I must go within and search myself. Am I a Karen? My immediate answer is: no fucking way. I can honestly say I’ve never once asked to see a manager or called the police to report someone eating their lunch on a park bench. I do not enjoy confrontation. Unless there is a bully involved. Then I will drag that person to hell with me. I much prefer discussion over going straight to the ‘I triple dog dare you!’ approach to the world. (If you got that reference, you are my new favourite) Because that is who a Karen really is… someone who jumps right to the most extreme action in order to satisfy their need to be superior. Truly, we should feel sorry for these people because instead of engaging they’re raging. And how awful must their insides feel… always full of anger, fear and self doubt. I say instead of judging these Karen types or putting them on blast on social media, we should hug the shit out of them. Just grab them and squeeze as hard as you fucking can until they stop talking. Peaceful solutions my friends, peaceful solutions.

- Pets lost their faith in us. Children a close second. If you are a proud owner of a pet or a child, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

I’ve always operated under the notion that my cat loves it when I’m home and hates it when I leave. 2020 has taught me it might be the other way around. Because our animals are, well, animals we just believe our presence is the greatest gift in their lives. Remember when you were old enough to be left alone by your parents and once you had the taste of that kind of freedom, you just wanted more of it and couldn’t wait for them to go out? I feel it’s like that with our pets now. We might not think animals have a routine or preferences or enjoy some alone time, but we’d be wrong.

I think at first our pets were thrilled. If we are home more it means more time for prolonged petting, walks and the opportunity to ritualistically train us to respond to their caterwauls for more food and treats than normal. But then as the weeks of lockdown and working from home increased, so did our pets desire to kill us in our sleep.

I’m pretty sure my cat has asked me several times using her feline glare: “why the fuck won’t you just leave?”. It would be naïve of us to assume we don’t disrupt their day with our constant noise making and snacking and scotch drinking that leads to a good buzz that leads to showing too much affection to our pets. To the point where they run and hide when they see us coming. Please tell me I didn’t describe just my own experience.

There is such a thing as everything in moderation, we know this, so I think it can be applied here. People, get away from your pets. Give them the space you often desire from human beings. Because if you don’t, that random turd in your shoe could be pointing to a much larger, more alarming problem you’re about to encounter.

I had the absolute blessing of being able to assist in caring for and raising of my three nephews (12,9,6) for the last 11 years. So, when I say: ‘children are always watching us’, I feel I know what I’m talking about. I’ve been mimicked so often by these young boys that I’ve had to pause due to mortification. Children will hold you accountable without even knowing it. I’ve had some behaviours of mine corrected by a 5-year-old and let me tell you, it stings like hell.

As adults, when our world was thrown into turmoil because of Covid-19, we looked to our medical health professionals and our politicians for guidance. Basically, we searched for those who would lead us. The children – looked to us. And while many adults handled this responsibility the best they possibly could, many more failed miserably and displayed attitudes I can only describe as juvenile, damaging and pathetic. I suppose it doesn’t help if the people the adults are looking to for help are themselves - juvenile, damaging and pathetic.

When I say we still have not grasped just how much has been lost over the past year, I’m hinting at integrity, compassion and creditability. Three vital qualities you’d hope people want to instill into their children. But if they themselves are unable to display such valuable traits, what does this say for the children who are looking up to them as an example on how to act when life gets challenging?

For myself in 2020, I gained by losing.

When they locked our gyms down for four months last spring, I came close to being one of those people who lost their shit. While people were moaning about wearing a mask for 20 minutes in the grocery store, I was contemplating if murdering those people could be considered a cardio exercise and would that hold up in a court of law.

To reflect on that time period now (especially since our gyms are closed AGAIN at the moment) the loss of the gyms brought me the knowledge of how important the routine of going to and being in the gym is to my mental health. I won’t launch into how I feel about shopping malls being open and gyms being closed despite their proven benefit to one’s overall health because then I really will lose my shit.

People always say getting to the gym is the hardest part and once they’re there it’s easy to workout. And for many that is the truth, but for me it’s all a part of the workout. Getting to the gym is the psychological effort. Putting in the work at the gym is the physical. You can’t have one without the other. I became so pathetic that I’d often walk to the closed gym from my house, stare at the closed doors and then walk home. 1.5 hour round trip. True story.

Remember a few years back everyone became obsessed with that Netflix show ‘Tidying Up with Marie Kondo’? It is the show where that lovely woman from Japan showed us all how to declutter our homes by getting rid of anything that didn’t bring us joy. Those acid wash jeans from 1989… sit with them… hold them close to your chest… if they don’t make you happy, remove them from your space. Well, the same idea can be applied to people and ideas and even feelings. And 2020 was a great year for simplifying our lives. I’ve heard so many people talk about how they can’t wait to get back to ‘normal’… not me. I’ve already started my ‘new normal’.

The loss of drama has gained me peace and a better understanding of the importance of remaining true to who I am instead of trying to please others in hopes it wins me points. Because it doesn’t. Because its inauthentic and only brings you more loss and more drama. And anxiety. And sleepless nights. And an overall sense of hatred for everyone. 2020 gave me the option to no longer care about the things that don’t make me happy and to embrace the process of letting all that stupid bullshit fade away.

It was a year of gained focus.

It was a year of gained appreciation.

It was a year of gained gratitude.

It was a year of gained love for myself.

I’m going to leave you now, but not before I share one of my favorite songs by the Tragically Hip:

In A World Possessed by The Human Mind

Just give me the news

It can all be lies

Exciting over fair or the right thing at the right time

Everything is clear

Just how you described

The way it appears, "A world possessed by the human mind"

Then I think I smiled

Then I think you said, "it's fine"

And quietly I dressed, in a world completely possessed by the human mind

We're in awe of no one

We've none of their fear

Fighting's goin' nowhere and we stay right here

Where everything is quiet

A little super dangerous

"In the shadow of the law and with colours of justice"

Then I hope I smiled

Then I'm sure you said, "It's fine"

They got no interest in a world completely possessed by the human mind

Everything is quiet

A little super dangerous

Quiet enough to hear God rustlin' around in the bushes

Oh, but it was you

Girl, I was so afraid

You said, "You shoulda seen the look on your face"

Then I hope I laughed

Then I hope I said, "it's fine"

And quietly undressed in a world completely possessed by the human mind

Oh it was you

Girl, I was so afraid

You said, "You shoulda seen the look on your face"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgXphurrsE0

#2020 #covid #lockdown #gym #marie kondo #the tragically hip #karen #petsarefamily #peace

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dreadnought-dear-captain · 4 years

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You Asked, I Told

(Note, if this post shows up twice or massively delayed or just looks weird, it’s because it was flagged for adult content [??!] because I had a picture of Willem Dafoe’s face in a gif. I am not even kidding. Do with that information what you will. I’ve removed it and I still don’t know if/when this can be publicly viewed, I’m kind of lolling. So if you see a blocked out photo that looks like porn in your post, I swear it’s just a gif from The Lighthouse!)

Hello, amazing people. This weekend, I’m putting the final touches on my last draft of Baghdad Waltz Chapter 39, which will then go to the beta for one more round of edits. I imagine I will have the chapter posted in 1-3 weeks, which is close to record speed for me, especially since it’s around 30k words. I’m going to be talking about my writing process (at unfortunate length) for one of the asks, for those who are interested.

Please forgive me. I’m feeling quite verbose and a little squirrely. I blame living alone during lockdown.

It’s also Memorial Day weekend in the States, which is when we are meant to honor those who gave their lives in military service to this country. This is often confused with Veterans Day (November 11), which is honoring anyone who has served in the military and is no longer serving. This gets further confused with Armed Forces Day (rotating date, May) which is to honor those currently serving in the military. I know, super confusing.

There’s a wide range of opinions on how Memorial Day should be commemorated, which often involves gathering with friends and family for a barbecue or some other social activity. It’s the first major holiday after a huge holiday drought throughout the late winter and spring, which often makes people look forward to it immensely. Some people feel it’s inappropriate to celebrate Memorial Day with barbecues and fond social gatherings because it’s dishonoring the memories of those who can’t be here, people don’t take time to remember those who have died, people have no idea what the day is actually for, etc. Others, even some very vocal veterans, maintain that people died so that we could be here to celebrate in freedom, so why not relish this life we have? Many offer the caveat that it’s appropriate to at least acknowledge the purpose of the day, even if it’s just in a few minutes of quiet reflection.

Anyway, I offer this as a little food for thought for this upcoming long weekend.

(And in case you missed it, I posted a BW Timeline for your reference.)

Contains spoilers through Chapter 38.

[Takes deep breath]

I’m so glad that you are enjoying the read and that you’re finding it inspiring for your own work. I think my dedication to research for BW is threefold. 1) As this story evolved, I decided that I wanted to create the most realistic depictions of military, civilian, emotional, and physical life that I reasonably could. I will fully admit to lapses in this, deliberate and unintentional, because sometimes the plot just needs to go and I can’t wait around for a year-long medical discharge process for my character. 2) I’m in an academically stringent occupation, and because research is such a prominent part of my work life, it’s bled to my hobby. (IS THIS EVEN A HOBBY ANYMORE?) And 3) I get very easily and passionately obsessed with things and delight in getting “into the weeds” with a subject. Almost every research divergence usually takes me off track for at least an hour. And you will never catch me without an MTA subway map open in at least one tab.

But that wasn’t even your question! Sorry. Are you beginning to get a sense of why BW takes me so long to write?? I cannot keep my shit on track. As for the bibliography, YES! I plan to include that in my author’s note at the end. I wish I had kept better track of all of my works consulted over the past three years, but I will definitely discuss the importance of some of the main ones. I’m so thrilled that you are interested, and I’m excited to share them!

Thank you. This is such a kind thing to say, and I’m humbled and delighted to hear it, especially because our fandom is so blessed with some AMAZING fics. And asks certainly don’t have to be questions! I appreciate them all (except the flaming bag of dog shit ones, which I haven’t had in a while, hooray).

(Re: Chapter 37) Good question! I imagine Claire would want to keep the 1:1 conversation somewhat limited, as she is treating the couple as a patient rather than them as individuals. If anything, she might have somewhat superficially checked in to see if he was okay rather than dive into anything regarding the relationship with Bucky not around. That could be seen as a betrayal of trust to Bucky and could be interpreted as favoritism, which Steve craves and which Bucky is probably terrified about.

I am always pleased when people re-read and enjoy it or get new things out of it, even if it’s sometimes a re-read is a function of my slow-ass writing. I really want a story with good re-read value.

You make an excellent point about Bucky’s relationships. His friendship with Jack also had no real closure. Sometimes this is a factor of circumstance and sometimes it’s because of his avoidance, like a self-fulfilling prophesy almost. He’s learned that people betray you, either by hurting you or dying, so he creates conditions sometimes (often unwittingly) for things to go sour and end poorly, or he will simply make himself disappear so that he’s not hurt and doesn’t have to wait to see if he will be abandoned or betrayed. He’s not a guy who is good with goodbyes.

As for Thor, I totally see how it would read that way. I think Thor started out fishing for longer-term possibilities in a romantic relationship but then realized Bucky is really not a guy who is comfortable settling (which, as we can see, is true). As for why it seems more serious, one thing is that Thor still wanted Bucky in his life as a friend, possibly one with benefits. They have a lot in common, and it’s hard for veterans - and, more specifically, special operators - to find people in their lives they can relate to with these very intense life experiences. I wanted this to be a real relationship, but maybe not necessarily one that was bound to become a RELATIONSHIP. I think Bucky was very intriguing and attractive to him, and he very well may have struggled with his own vacillation between whether to take it seriously or whether to remain friends+. This can lead to mixed messages.

And we also have to remember Bucky’s notoriously unreliable narration, where he will see what he wants to see. Our perspective comes from him. We see the details he zooms in on, miss the one he ignores, view the relationship through the lens of his own contentious desire for a real relationship, even as he consistently demonstrates the lack of capacity and his fear about getting serious. I imagine Bucky has having an extremely poor ability to distinguish friendship from romance, and why wouldn’t he, given the most recent bit of history we have learned about him with Jack? He’s had a series of friendships become sexualized, and I think this affects his capacity to be discerning. Bucky’s radar for relating, whether friendships, romance, or potentially dangerous sexual situations, is terribly mis-calibrated. How confusing for him and for the people in his life. Of course, everyone is free to interpret the dynamics of any relationship however they choose. These are just some of my thoughts.

I really appreciate observations from the re-read! Thank you!

I watched the video and you are right! This is definitely a Bucky song. Bucky’s sense of self is by turns profoundly distorted and lacking in grounding, especially now that he’s not in the military. He’s been in a low key existential crisis since he was a kid and has turned to drinking and sex and war to fill this horrible void, and although I can’t speak for what the artists here intended, I certainly sensed those elements here for sure. (Also, what an interesting choice for a music video…)

Thank you for sharing! I’ll add it to the unofficial BW playlist in the author’s note, which consists of various songs people have associated with BW and shared with me.

Good question! I started off this story picturing the actors who represent the characters in the MCU, because I figured we’d be picturing that when we read the fic anyway (though my beta told me she doesn’t see them as the actors, more like artists’ renderings of the characters, which I find interesting). So when describing their physicality, I tend to refer back to the MCU, since this is technically an MCU AU. But the longer I go with the story, the murkier the resemblance feels to me, especially when I think about Bucky, IDK why. I have also been considering doing something more with BW after I finish it (i.e., converting it into a proper not-bajillion-word novel, sunk cost and whatnot), in which case I would definitely change the characters’ appearance, names, cut MCU Easter eggs, etc. So when I try to think of who these people might be in future iterations of the story, things get even more blurred in my mind when I imagine them.

I wonder how other people see them??

So, with regards to PTSD clinical teams, there is some variation across VAs in the system. Some focus more on military-related trauma, whether it’s war, military sexual trauma, accidents, etc. as a way of concentrating their services and managing supply and demand. From talking with providers in these kinds of systems, sometimes you just NEED a military-related trauma, but you can be treated for, say, a childhood trauma if it’s more pressing. Other VAs are very open in their criteria, and you can see them for pretty much any kind of trauma that qualifies diagnostically for PTSD (or sub-threshold PTSD) without question. That’s why I love the expression “If you’ve been to one VA, you’ve been to one VA.” That said, it kind of doesn’t matter what kind of PTSD clinical team is at the VA in Manhattan, because Bucky has so much military trauma that he would very likely qualify to receive services in any PTSD clinical team. They just might focus on childhood stuff (if Bucky actually let them, which is another matter entirely).

This is a great question! Thanks for asking.

I love a snarky asshole Bucky so much, and I’ve tried to temper this version of him with enough hard-earned genuineness to offset it a little bit. It’s such a tender balance with him, because if you back him too far into a corner, he’s going to let you have it. But if you give him too much space, it’s hard to pin him down and wring something honest from him. He’s definitely learned to use humor and sarcasm to deflect from painful or uncomfortable situations, and it’s a very adaptive short-term strategy that makes him both endearing and infuriating to others.

But ugh, yeah, shit gets so rough around Chapter 28/29. I don’t know how to feel when people have really strong emotional reactions to this story, because one part of me doesn’t want to contribute to the crappy feelings people may already be struggling with — especially in the times of COVID — but I don’t want to be afraid to dive into the hurt these characters are experiencing. That’s why I recommend checking in with oneself before reading to get a sense of how much emotional bandwidth is available to manage the immense problems of two people struggling so much. I also think that for some people it can be cathartic or otherwise not-bad maybe (?), based on the feedback I’ve received. I also really try hard to balance out the painful stuff with growth, even though it can be terribly difficult to locate sometimes.

In comments to folks, and here, I often talk about adjusting the ticks on your measuring stick for progress, where instead of leaps of progress over feet/meters, we may be observing things on an inch/mm scale. This story is my most sincere effort at a “recovery is not linear” narrative, which I think is so much more reflective of real life for a lot of folks than a straight upward trajectory. Humans are such creatures of habit, and the lessons these characters have learned through their lives about themselves, trust, relationships, and how to manage emotions are very deeply ingrained — often through traumatic means. These are the lessons learned the hardest, with the greatest perceived consequences for change, and it takes real courage for us to be able to try new things even once, let alone to establish a reliable pattern of behavior. This can lead to a lot of frustration for us as readers/writer, and I come from a place of this being okay, because we are encountering a parallel process with the characters, who are frustrated with each other and themselves about the same things. I do hope the pain/progress/joy ratios are not horribly out of whack most of the time. That’s another reason I like long chapters, because if this was just blips of sometimes terrible episodes in shorter form, I think it would be very challenging to not lose hope entirely.

But I’m so glad you’re finding the read meaningful, even if it’s sometimes painful and difficult.

(YES.)

And FINALLY -- (this is all soooo long, I’m so sorry.)

Oh, thank you for this question! My spreadsheet ended up getting too difficult to manage, and I actually had a small crisis six months ago about how the fic was going to end, because it just didn’t feel right. I had to scrap it and go back to the drawing board and really ask myself - what would these characters really do? Naturally, as a factor of their psychologies and circumstances, how will they bring this story to an end? Some advice I once heard about a “satisfying” ending is that it’s the place where there’s simply nothing more to say about the characters. There’s no more story to tell. I had to abandon all of my desires and ideas for a particular ending or concerns about making people sad or happy or excited or disappointed. I know that the only ending that will be satisfying is one that makes sense for these people. Anything contrived or backward-engineer-y wouldn’t feel right to anyone. I do have a couple of specific character arc things I want to happen, so I set those down as touchstones and said, okay, what would happen next? What would Steve do with this? And what would Bucky do with this? And what would they do with the thing the other person did? I take a very psychology and prior-behavior-based approach to plotting, almost all character driven. The rest is just figuring out what is supposed to go where and how to organize it.

I’ve converted everything to a Google Doc and have a very basic outline where I write plotty-plot stuff. I also have a “garbage dump” doc where I write certain lines I want to use or certain details I want to include somewhere. When I get into a new chapter, I’ll check the dump doc as I outline and write to see if I want to pluck anything from there. I have my outline open regularly to add to it. Sometimes I write scenes out of order, dialogue first, but that’s only if I really am excited about a particular scene and cannot contain myself. Otherwise, I write completely chronologically and have no buffer. I post things as soon as I write them.

As for your specific questions, I do have a “process” for getting into my characters’ heads. It helps to know them so very well and to have a firm sense of their idiosyncrasies and patterns of behavior. As you may have noticed, they repeat their patterns all. the. time, as humans do, but I also want to have them change their behaviors a little as things go and they progress. So I may wonder what they could do a little differently, why they would WANT to behave differently, and imagine what they would need to do to change their behavior. Do they need to take breaths? Do they remember the last time some shit went down? I really try to think of the “how” and “why” of every single action - from big blowouts to eye rolls.

So once I’ve figured out what they are going to do, I try to pinpoint the associated emotions I want to highlight. This is a whole separate process, because I have to think also about their internal versus their external emotional states. Steve, for example, will often have a discrepant inside and outside, because one of the truths about his character is that he is a chronic suppressor. There is also the issue of unreliable narration and interpretation of behavior. Steve might do something in a scene, but that doesn’t mean Bucky is going to interpret it the way it was intended. I have to think about their individual filters, which often reflect their internal beliefs about themselves. Bucky is more likely to read Steve’s actions as reflections of how BUCKY feels about HIMSELF (e.g., he’s disgusted by me because I’m disgusting) rather than imagine what Steve is really thinking based on his own experiences and beliefs about Bucky. I also attempt to convey some of the more second and third layer emotions that people have in situations, rather than only highlighting the primary emotion. Sad things don’t always just make people sad. Powerful emotions, for example, might make Steve feel out of control of himself, which could generate secondary emotions for him like frustration because he’s losing control. Part of the process in the construction of the narrative is also scrubbing what I’ve written for POV, because Bucky’s word choices aren’t the same as Steve’s, and in order to try to preserve the “voice” of each character, I often have to change the words I’ve opted to use, as well as the syntax.

So, as you can see, there’s a lot of layering that is happening all the time. As for the dialogue, I have no compunction about saying the lines aloud, “acting” them to see how they sound, to get a sense of what tone I want them to say things in. Now that I think of it, I do a bit of movement-based stuff, thinking about how people sit and stand, figuring how many steps it takes to get from A-Z, what it would look like to lean against something, how it would feel on the body, etc. I try to get the most felt sense of things as I can. If I’m imagining a scene, I try to put myself in the shoes of the characters to the point where I feel the emotions, just so I can know how it reflects in my body and my mind and behavior. I have more than once gotten drunk and drunk-written drunk Bucky then gone to clean it up later, as drunk writing can generate some great content I never would have been able to come up with sober, but the form, grammar, spelling, etc. is often rubbish. I also talk a LOT to my beta about all of this stuff, and I have certain friends and acquaintances in the fandom who are my consultants for various things.

So, I’m somewhat method I guess?? Is that a thing?? I dunno. It’s not hard to do when you live and breathe a story. It’s required a deep level of interest in - quite possibly an obsession with - the characters and their lives. I adore my characters, not in a self-congratulatory way, but because they feel so real to me. So it’s a joy to plan and write -- though I do hate first drafts with a passion.

OH - I also sometimes fast-draft chapters, which I did for 39. That is, write as FAST AS YOU CAN with no regard for how shitty the writing is. I wrote 10k words in a week, which was a finished fast-draft for me, and thus I had a very good felt sense of what was going to happen in the chapter, which felt amazing. It requires intensive outlining before, and nearly every word had to be rewritten, but one of the greatest frustrations of a story for me is having blank space ahead. Re-writing is way more fun than first draft writing. I have fluffed it up twofold with higher quality content, which I did all in less than two months…!!

-------------------------

Well, this is surely my most unnecessarily yammering YAIT in history. But I hope it at least conveys my enthusiasm for these wonderful asks! It’s so lovely to hear from all of you, even if I take an eon to get back to you. Hang in there, everyone!

@grimshady @hutchhitched @b0n3l3ssm1lk

(And thank you to @bae-buckyaboveeverything for the shout out. You made my day<3)

#you asked #baghdad waltz #asks

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cupsofsuga · 4 years

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PARK JIMIN ━━━ CHARACTER ANALYSIS

JIMIN IS... daisies, superman ice cream, paint stains, sweet tooth, picnics, peach slices, bike rides, dreamy sunsets, plant pots, goosebumps, toothy grins, wanderlust, herbal tea, fuzzy socks, scented candles, fresh fruit, petals, old folklore, sunflower fields, dogs, messy hair, twirling your umbrella in the rain, old jewelry, hand-me-down overalls, picking berries, humid air, home-cooked meals, lego sets, bedtime stories, the warm glow of fairy lights, spilled glitter, angel wings, letters in bottles, the humming of a bumblebee, skipping stones, big t-shirts, chewing on your pencil, the scent of jasmine, butterflies, fine line and blowing bubblegum.

JIMIN SOUNDS LIKE...

ALWAYS ON MY MIND / LO-FI LE-VI

❝ i want you to be mine. ❞

WATERMELON SUGAR / HARRY STYLES

❝ breathe me in, breathe me out. ❞

LOVEFOOL / THE CARDIGANS

❝ i don’t care about anything but you. ❞

NEEDY / ARIANA GRANDE

❝ and what you can trust is that i need your touch. ❞

TRAINING WHEELS / MELANIE MARTINEZ

❝ i love everything you do, when you call me fucking dumb for the stupid shit i do. ❞

SUMMERTIME IN PARIS / JADEN

❝ summertime is meant to fall in love, i wrote you a poem for your surprise. ❞

THE LOUVRE / LORDE

❝ our days and nights are perfumed with obsession. ❞

I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR YOU / THE FOSTERS

❝ give it up for you, i would give it up for you. ❞

CLOSE TO ME / THE CURE

❝ i’ve waited hours for this, i’ve made myself so sick. ❞

SUNFLOWER, VOL. 6 / HARRY STYLES

❝ i couldn’t want you any more. ❞

GINGER / BROCKHAMPTON

❝ you know you got your own space right here forever, baby. ❞

JIMIN LIKES... Y/N, dreamy songs that remind him of Y/N, affection from Y/N, books, the sound of piano, silk, hot chocolate, singing and composing songs (that all relate to Y/N), sugary treats, pastel colors and kittens.

JIMIN DISLIKES... disrespect towards Y/N, being without Y/N, his father, sour treats, loud noises, sea life, scary movies, heights and caviar.

PARK JIMIN. an amiable, practical, compassionate, sensitive and overly-affectionate golden child who’s following his father’s footsteps step-by-step into the world of money-induced insanity. who knew that living in the depths of lavish would result in the aching act of severe abuse? being a child and enduring his father’s nitpicking over his successes, the respected title of ‘spelling bee champ’ and the plastic trophies that litter his bedroom are all worthless. growing into his teenage years, jimin has lost count of how many times he’s slept with his pillow clenched around his ears when his father brings home a random woman in her early 20’s into their penthouse and having to shove a groan down his throat when his father mentions of a potential wife for jimin to marry. being the child that earned sweet treats and pinches on the cheek from elders, you may think of jimin as an arrogant asshole who’s only concerns have been money and his ego that is larger than the planet, but, after you met him on that fateful friday afternoon, you were thrown into a whirlpool.

little did young, 16-year-old Y/N know that following their father, also being a businessman, to a meeting would result in collecting the constant peppering of kisses, 4 journals (5th being a work in progress) written entirely of love songs for just them and the bottles of tears into their possession. that single moment where you sat down beside him, sparked up a conversation and complimented him on his taste in books with your sugar-spun voice had robbed him of his heart immediately. jimin has now stalked through his father’s schedule, feeling his heart elate finding your surname, knowing that you’d be trailing right behind your father. and when you leave the estate, you’ll find a small, pink-haired boy at your feet who offers you coffee and mints as an obnoxious attempt to stall you into staying, but, don’t worry. that was only the beginning.

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charmed-asylum · 4 years

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👨‍🍳# FOODIE👨‍🍳

#Foodie, Part 2

Summary: Something happening in Easter Hills. Something that effecting everyone under the surface. Could this just be a phase a trick that no one can shack off? Is this something that will pass with another or can we all be heading for destruction

Declaimer: #Foodie has some curse words, blood, making out, and maybe a dead body or 2??. Also, I do have dyslexia who happens to do her own proof reading so be easy with me!!!

A/N:So who would think after doing a love story I go be switching it up to some sci-fi. Let me know what you think or want to be added to the taglist. Or simple to sit my butt down and stop with the dramatics xoxo Tia

MASTER LIST // Previous Chapter (1)

Tagged: @weapinggwillowss @kittykatlow @alagalaska @deansblackbeauty

2 weeks later

My fingers intertwined with his as he locks and kisses them. He doesn’t know I know but he a snuggle monster the reject monster from Sesame Street. Another secret I love it. We haven’t had much time as I will hope with one another. Even though he was back from the war he still was working as deputy while he was home. I pout like a two-year-old who got denied a brand new toy from a toy store. But we made it work. He moves me close as he whispers praise in my ear in his deep voice that makes me shiver a cool chill.

I only had 15 minutes left of my break with him. God how I miss him. After Janet left me teary-eyed in the abandoned hallway apart of me felt I was in old westerns like I was waiting for her around and draw her guy. That night he came over and hold me as I cried into his strong chest hands wrap as far as I could around his broad shoulders. Each night I founded my self there. Even if I was asleep he sneaks in and holds me. Letting me know he was never gonna leave me.

He looks down into my eye out time coming to an end with a bit of sorrow regret. Hopping up so I can reach his face I pepper kiss him with each hop. Watching as his smile spread from ear to ear he loves when I did this be my silly tiny self. Knowing he always be my savior. His eyes were dark like midnight sky but were as bright as the sun. Others wouldn’t see this wouldn’t think he was more than a brick wall but he was more. Just like me more than meets the eye. Each day I’m happy god loves me to bring him to me. Bring me someone that made me feel things I never did before.

“ I gotta go. I was only supposed to drop off another animal to you, baby “ He said in muffled from my lips.

Lending back hold his hands close , “ Yeah but it was you who wanted to start kissing me. I’m only here to basket it all this”.

This was been a familiar thing the last two weeks animals found dead somewhere or sick with some type of rabies. Blood from Mr. Fuzzy Bear only adds to the mystery. Blood work consists of an unfamiliar source. I went anymore I know and even the internet god the internet. After weeks of looking non stop trying to find anything to make me more at ease. NOTHING. I wanted to express this to KP but he only tells me to stop worrying.

“ BABY” KP tickle me under my underarms. I twitch and almost trip. “ I was talking and you did that moody thing you do. Is this Janet” he asked. YES NO I DONT KNOW I rub my forehead gently and peek up at him and nod.

I hate lying most importantly very bad at it. Even though he knew it was more he still allowed it to be, this time.

“ I am taking you out. Show you off. Remind folks who you belong too. Which means I want you to be out this little head of yours. Janet she many things but all with reasoning. Give her time didn’t you say she nods at you other days” KP said. God his voice.

“ Your right probably PMS. Or something. Where we going” I asked looking down. I could hear my name-calling for me and some chaos.

“IAASC I KNOW HE SEXY EYE CANDY BUT GET YOUR ASS IN HERE-OW” Ethan scream out. I giggle and peck his cheek and ran off.

“ I CALL YOU ILY “ I shouted over my shoulder.

He ruffles his thick black hair across his hands as she smirks at me.

“ILY2” He said.

Everything was like walking into the war zone. Ethan was sitting on a chair holding her arm that was gushing blood out and Casey walking back and forth. I swipe up a rabies shot and quickly gave it to her and took her arms into my arms to looks at it. So much blood my arms got painted red. With a finger snap, Casey passes me the 1st aid kit as I dress the wound. Ethan was laughing all while. After thanking Casey ask sending her off for a break treating her like my child even though she was twice my age I gave the tickle me Ethan my attention.

“ You need to go to the hospital. That looks nothing like something seen before where the animal that did it” I asked looking around.

“ Killed it” She said like it was nothing. My eyebrow bent at this as I look her.

“ I need to call KP back he and sheriff can come over and help” I said pulling my phone out my pocket.

“Shit that fucker a bitch. I go okay I go I’m fine I go later. You did everything right by the way. It’s dead. We take it to the trash and that it” She said then look at me finally. I was a mess. To say the least. I bit the corner of my cheek till it bleeds and the iron the mint of him I was chewing on earlier.

Her eyes look glassy and she had a gentle sweat coming down her forehead. Didn’t it bit her not even a half-hour ago? I walk over and grab the bloody towels and help her up to sit down in her office under the AC. Closing the door I look hands it still had traces of her blood on it. I close my eyes and tried to relax. Taking deep breaths I went over to the sink and started to scrum till my hands were bright red from the friction.

“ Is she alright? “ Casey asks poking her head into the exam room. I peak over and back at my hands.

“ Yeah, she huh. Resting. Hey, what even happen that was so like the strange right” I said adding extra words to sound like I wasn’t just obsessing over it.

Casey pulled out a cigarette from her pocket and pluck it in her mouth getting ready to share something.

“ While you were outside smacking lips with Mr fuck for brains and takeout outside” she stops and looks at me.

“ I was upfront talking to Rachel about our lasted book club meeting. And she was talking about this new craze when one of the animals that came in just bounced up to life and start making sounds hissing and shit. Went sideways. The animal was acting all crazy like Bob does when he drank that moonshine and whiskey during October fair of 2003. Anyway, I rushed back and she was swinging at it with a paperweight” she said raking in another inhale of her cigarette. With a few coughs and tap, she looks around before talking some more.

“ You know a lot of shit been happening around here. I have been here all my life sadly and I would know. You know what it is huh?” She said putting her cigarette out with the bottom of her shoe. “ Damn Liberals. Probably put some damn glitter dusk on shit and made folks all crazy “She said as if it was a known fact. Did I not mention she a bit of a blowup doll racist. Try to explain to her just because I look Spanish doesn’t mean I am. Now she always says Ho Lay. Like that means something more than being a bitch. But she Casey and there no one like her.

“ You never know. So where is it now the animal ” I said drying my hands?

“ Out in the front. Sucker ugly mug tosses a blanket over it” Casey said nodding to the front. I nod and look around trying to let everything sit. Before she could walk off I without even thinking grab tight to her arm and pulled her into a hug. My hand ran up and down as I hold her tight.

“ Stay safe. Cas” I said. She chuckled and pat my back before going. I don’t know why I did it. Maybe a part of me knew something was gonna happen. That I was about to head down a steep drop something I will never be able to recover from.

The animal or what was left of it was like Casey said a mess. Scattered with its brains and head mushed. I poke it a few times before taking my pocket knife and stabbing it in the brain just in case. I wasn’t trying to live my life in a horror film. When I took the knife back out there was a strange goo mix with the blood. What the fuck I whisper to myself as I knee down and got closer to look. Just like I thought it was just like Mr. Fuzzy Bear. This was not a dog and this in on ways was a house pet. How strange how can two things so far from one another by going through the same thing. Can it be a generic trait from mammals? Or animals?

Ethan was quiet for the rest of the night. She didn’t move out of her office and when she did she was still sweating and shivering. I knew I promise KP not to worry but I couldn’t.

Me: Promise not to laugh but I have a question

Mi Amore: Haha what up sweetie

Me: Have there been any strange animal behavior or attacks? I know I’m coo-coo 😛😛

Mi Amore: 🤔 idk. Yeah, old man, Nick has been coming about some behavior. But that’s about it. Ur not crazy just crazy beautiful. Y??

Me: Remember when I was called in. Ethan got bite by a stray animal. Just wondering. I miss U 💋 💋 💋

Mi Amore: Never stop. If you promise to stop worrying I keep an eye on it. And stop by to check out on Ethan tonight or tomorrow. Alright babe

Me: Kk thnx KP

Mi Amore: ILY let me know when you get home

Me: ILY2 😘

Old man Nick was crazy still believing that aliens were never in Roswell but here. But his word is not so reliable he is married to his chicken Cheryl. I paced around that night in my room thinking trying not to think. He was right I need to stop worrying. I pulled out my pink paper and my fuzzy pens from my desk and sat on my bed and starting to write. Could me not having Janet be making me acting like an old man Nick, god I hope not. So I did what KP did and after my letter to Janet, I decided to not worry about it.

My feet bounce from one to another as I ran across the neighborhood. I felt a bit of sweat coming from under my lavender purple sports bra and forehead. Hair swinging from left to right right to left as I power through. In theory, if I wanted to I could run my whole town form one end to another. Music blast though my Bluetooth Air Pods. As I turn I reach Bloom Ave I made a quick left and push through till I reach a familiar two-story house at the end of the dead street. It sits back in the dirt a bit with a few stubs in the ground that somehow went perfect with the grey clay outer skeleton with huge windows and white curtains and a bright red wooden door. No cars in the driveway weren’t unfamiliar. Janet's mom or body double was always out at the local bar on some table dancing talking about her glory days. Janet hates that and even though she never told a soul she always fears she becomes that. Be stuck in the middle of nowhere no love and memories of when life was fearless Couldn’t ever be like that I told her as sat back on a black and white blanket sipping on my organic lemonade. She smiles and asks why. Because I will be there no quicksand right. She smiles and nods no quicksand. I wipe my eyes as I came up to the front porch. I knock a few times before I gave up. Hail Mary twisting my neck a bit I look around to the empty street. From the corner of my eye, I could see the shades move. I turn my head around so quickly I got dizzy. I ran towards the window and tap at it. Trying to look in. It was blurry but I can dang sure I saw someone. I called out and bang it a few times. She was not gonna answer. With a exhale I turn and leaned against the window and slide till I was on the ground. I never gave up but this was starting to look like the only thing I could do. Was not doing that stupid drug that big of a deal. More. More I thought about it I got anger mad-sad even. Whipping my eyes with the back of my hand I got up and grab a few rocks. And started hitting the window calling out for her. Pissed I storm in circles across the front door like a madwoman.

" I don't know what wrong but FUCK IT. YOU KNOW I CARE ABOUT YOU AND YOU DOING THIS IS FUCK UP. BECAUSE OF BLOODY DAMN DRUG. YOU PROMISE ME MOON AND STARS WE ARE NOTHING WITHOUT THE OTHER. SO IM NOT LEAVING IF I HAVE TO WRITE TO YOU AND LEAVE A FREAKIN LETTER OR CALL I AM. I KNOW SOMETHING FUCKIN WRONG. WHAT WE ARE YES IT IS COMPLICATED AND NOT WAY OF THINGS BUT I DO ANYTHING FOR YOU. THIS SHIT CHILDISH. YOU FUCKIN PROMISE J. They all leave me and you promise you won't" I stumble to my knees and hold onto my face with my hands and cried. I can't hate her even when I wanted to I can't. I cry and cry to the point my sweat and tears were blending into one.

Slowly getting up I look at the house once time. I lost. I lost over something so stupid. Crazy as it is if I could go back knowing what I know I still won't take that duck fuckin drug. I would just fight more so Janet wouldn't.

" No quicksand " I whisper before I walk off in defeat.

At work I didn't move much I just sat there listening to Casey about how Ethan couldn't make it something about going to the urgent care next town over. Casey was pleased because it meant she could leave early. Cleaning up the back exam rooms I recognize the towel Ethan used when she got attack day before. FUCK IT. I Peak before I snoop over to the magnifying glass and cup a piece of the towel and took a look. I tried squeezing my eyes but it wasn't close enough DARN I crushed at myself as I ruffle my hair through my hands. Biting the corner of my lip I look over for something anyway. JACKPOT. I rushed over and bent down to go through old equipment until I found the microscope that I remember Ethan told me about when I first started helping out. Sometimes about it not working right but if there one thing I was work with what you got a type of girl. It is I tap the metal table till the light came on. Grabbing the piece of the towel I place it over and fetch my glasses out my chest pocket and kiss my eyes to the lends. At first, it looks right till I saw a few things in the corner that didn't look quite right. The light kept flicking above me with an annoying buzz. Was it stupid yes but who said I was smart. More I tried to focus louder the buzz got. Till the office phone ring making me jump out my damn skin with a loud final act scream. AHHHH.

After a second to realize it was the phone, I quickly answer it. Hello, I said slightly out of breath. I heard heavy breathing. I repeated my self. Still nothing but heavy breathing. This isn't funny I said about to poop a golden egg. Still, it was heavy breathing. I can't hear you breathing I said looking around second-guessing every life decision I ever made. I gonna hang up I said but something stops me. Three words. No QUICKSAND. My eye widens Janet. I scream into the phone for her a bit excited and more so worried. But all I got was a dial tone I tried to call her but she didn't answer.

Each night around the same time the same message those three words. Of course, I tried to make her say anything else but no. My mind races trying to figure it out till each time I came to the same conclusion, she did not want my help or worst she could not ask for it.

I tap my foot as I look at my planner trying to figure out what to wear for my date with KP today. Strawberry favor purple teddy bear he got me on our first date sat on my lap between my thighs. He did tell me much but just it was a casual date no restaurant this time. We need that a few times when he was in school ones out of town. I liked those I could be anyone I wanted to be even though I could only drink the bottled water and had to bring omg own food. If they didn’t have things like organic apples. The third one we did he told me of his dream ones that included me. I like those a lot. Even after the two years when he went off to the army to take down the bad guys. Each letter you write adventures about life we were gonna have. I told him I didn’t care just wanted him there to hold me and love me. Stupid I know but stuck in a small town you can get caught up in those dreams.

After a few minutes of debating I pick up my feet push and turn around and around in my chair holding the hand of teddy. Hoping off after a few turns around I click on my radio and just decide to go with the flow whatever I was feeling. REMEMBER A DAY BY PINK FLOYD starting to play. I bop my head and shake my hips as I look through my denim.

Remember a day before today

A day when you were young.

Free to play alone with time

Evening never comes.

Toss a blue denim skirt with a beach wave cut on the bottom and round bottoms on the front. I lose myself in the beat that was creeping through my soul. Singing off-key look over my shoulders and pull out short sleeves stripe blue and black with a hint of the orange shirt.

Climb your favourite apple tree

Try to catch the sun

Hide from your little brother’s gun

Dream yourself away

I walk backward as I sang with my teddy in my hands the outro plucking out my round black shades to complete the outfit. Licking my lips I look into the mirror with items place in front to imagine how it would look. Something was messing I look behind and saw one of his old button-ups he left one night he stayed. Taking I deep breath in I look up to my ceiling knowing if things go well maybe I go a step forward. Or maybe not.

He came at exactly at 12 o clock. Rolling up in his 2010 Black Ford Raptor with the music blasting. I hope up without thought ran over as soon as it stops. Before I could get in I saw a few blankets on the passenger seat. Peaking up I saw him staring at me with those intoxicating midnight eyes that match his thick cut on side and swoosh in the front black hair. That I love to tug and play with between my dainty fingers. His smile was so wide that it shows off his perfect pearly whites. Reaching closer I smile into a kiss and I felt a lift as he pulls me in and into his lap. To deepen our kiss the taste of his toothpaste and hint of orange juice he must have had before coming over. Recently he taught me the fun of French kissing and art of a tongue. Pulling his bottom lip with my teeth I glance at him his strong muscular hand grip tight to my thigh.

“ Looks like someone wearing my clothes again” He said rubbing little patterns on my thigh with his index finger.

“ Want me to take it off and give it back. Baby” I asked playfully. With one last glance and shook his head no and tilt his head to look at me.

“ You know it drives me crazy seeing you wear my stuff. Let’s not forget the football jersey incident” he reminded me. It was 1st time I allow him to fell my thigh and butt. Thought alone brought a heat running down my body. Something Janet told me was normal. Playing with his hair I look down at what he was wearing. Black jeans with a red t-shirt an leather jacket.

“ So this the big date. Just sitting in your car. I could have told my parents we were staying for lunch then” I said playing with the collar of his jacket.

He ponders the question for a bit before he started to laugh. Picking me up he helps me over to the passenger seat. Left his right hand on my thigh and drove off with his left hand. After a few minutes, I wrap my hand with his and lean back and look at him as he drives. Few times he will peak over even throwing me a silly face which I then gave a few my own. Got to a light I peak out to the street. Crazy for a Saturday the usual busy with folks at the town square or at the farmer market that would be along Main Street it was pretty much close to deserted. Looking back as we drove off I sat back and ponder about it.

“ Did Bucks say anything about not having his produce today?” I asked.

“ Huh yeah sweetie it was postponed. Something happened to some of his vegetables. Think some kids piss on them. There also that beauty pageant in San Pedro. Took a bus over to watch” He said to bring my hand to kiss.

“ Yea yea I forgot. You know with Ethan gone. I feel like I’m working all alone forgetting the days. Where we going “ I asked.

“ Don’t worry we almost there. Would you put that scarf around your eyes it a surprise? Isaac” he said.

I took the red plaid scarf and wrap it around my eyes. The realization was starting to dawn on me besides our movie dates or him staying with me at night. This was our first date since he came back. Worried wasn’t even the word for it my whole body became snuffled with nerves. My mouth was dry and my neck felt warm.

“ Hey hey you okay,” he asked with a serious tone. I nod yes and hold on to his bicep tight.

“ Sorry just excited. Is all” I whisper holding on.

I didn’t know where I was but I felt the ground being a bit rough against my converse. One hand-grip tight to his other feeling my way. I could feel the moisture from the air and leaves. Before u even lifted the scarf I knew we were at our special hideout in Lover Lane.

Close behind me, he squeezed my shoulders gently as he whispered words of sweet nothing. I felt like Alice walking through wonderland. What if I look clearly through the darkness between the glitter and tiny rainbows I could find mad hatter drinking morning tea or the queen of hearts out by her garden w brush covered in red paint. Endless wonders who will I be would I be Alice full of innocence and wonder, the white rabbit who always running with of anxiety, Chester cat who full of the finger brings back cross and a smile with a bit of darkness inching to come back or maybe just a poor bystander. Most say I could pick out those three or add one in but today I didn’t know.

The blindness of the light brought me back from that rabbit hole of thoughts. Blinking a few times to adjust I saw a blur of trees and blue sky. It was beautiful right in the middle among all the flowers and grass was a big red planet blanket with a wicker basket in the center.

“ Surprise My Ama. Like it” KP said with a huge grind with his hands stretch out as far as possible. I didn’t know tears were coming down till KP came over to kiss them away. I hold his hand tight and kiss his hand before kissing each finger and look deep into his deep space eyes.

“ Did I do something why are you crying?” KP said a bit worried. I felt my lips playing peek a boo with teeth. I wish I knew why I was crying. I don’t even know anymore.

Instead of the truth I pull KP by hand and pull him onto the blanket before I let go and lay across. I curl my finger and motion for him to come over to sit by me. He lay his head on my lap. Right by edge of my skirt and he help right with his head facing my lower stomach. Playing with his hair between my fingers I came close and kiss his forehead gently. He holds me close and mumbles something. Maybe today I’m Alice before she found that hole.

The sun felt so good again my smooth rich terra- cotta skin. My hair was slip to the side taking in the sun raises. I could here KP reading from his old worn-out copy of The Last Man in the background still laying on my lap. He always had a fascination with Pre-American Gothic and an unseen classic from popular authors. Could read anything that was calming may you forget the world around you and drunk of his voice capturing his presence. Once he read House of Leaves to me when we were both in head and sound like a lullaby.

What is there in our nature that is forever urging us on towards pain KP read.

I bent down in front of the book to block any of the words and cup his cheeks in my hands and kiss him. Putting the book beside him he returns the kiss and pulls in deeper and turns me over to he was on top. My head rests on my honey scent shampoo hair. I could smell the woody scent of his Guilty Pour Homme Spray by Gucci he always put on. He moves his hand to crest cheek eyes match my woods brown eye with his. I could feel something hard pressuring against my thigh. With a sigh, I look at him and then down. Once again. As if he could read my thoughts he slowly pulls away.

“ Should probably not continue this before we are both in trouble huh baby?” KP said in his deep chocolate voice. I slowly nod and place my hands against his side and rub it against the pants being the only thing stopping me to go further. I need an escape something to stop my thoughts stop me from jumping face-first onto the hole. I felt moving his hips with movement with my palm. Kiss trace down my neck gently I curve into his touch wanting more. God, he knew how to make this girl feel good. His hands while rough with warn and tares always was gentle. Without thought I let out a sigh as we continue till out nowhere I thought I heard some birds. A lot of birds. Opening my eyes corner of my sight I see a family of birds flying in a flock west of me. I bent my head back as I follow the birds until they disappear. My mind drifts off to where they were going what would they do once they are there.

“ Ama I gotta tell you something alright something very important and I need you to listen can you do that” KP asked as he kisses my neck some more. I nod and mouth yes.

“ You know when I left I thought I was strong I thought I was brave. I wanted to protect you so badly from all evil all darkness I went onto war. But honestly, it’s not what I thought baby. The world we live in full of chaos more I tried to fix it stay in line I found my self missing you thinking what if I stay with you” KP said and continue to kiss me between my chest. Feeling brought old feelings I haven’t felt in more a year ago.

“ This world needs order. And I can’t do it all alone. Many nights I was barley holding thinking of ending my life but I got your letters and face times. If it wasn’t for you I will be lost in this huge empty world. I have been thinking and well what if after you graduate we leave pack all your shit and leave. Nothing d holding us back” KP said. I blink and look at him he stops kissing me and look back up at me with huge night sky eyes. I could hear some strange noises from behind me. KP was still speaking and all I could do was stare at him with drunk haze eyes.

“ Would you run off with me?” KP asks turning to go get up to look at me. No words can describe the look in his eyes passion fear worry lust doubt. Galaxy with million and one thoughts hiding in plain sight. Could I leave and blindly follow him into the unknown future. FUCK YEAH, I WOULD that promised I gave him so long ago.

Before I could say anything everything happens in a flash. The gravity pull was distracted in a minor of seconds. I felt him pushed my down covering me with his chest I look and I could feel something wet. Stumbling back on the blanket my breath gets shorter and I start to feel dizzy my fingertips were numb I felt like the more I tried to breathe more I fell deeper into the darkness. Then were the two muscle arms scooping me up from behind?

“ ISAAC ISSAC AMA AMA BABY BABY LOOK AT ME. Come one before you go into shock “ KP shout out. I look away from the body and at him. His thick finger covers my flushed cheeks. I slowly start to nod and look back at the body.

“ Is he.... is he dead we gotta do -“ I stop as I could see man chest rising a bit he was saying something. I let go and slowly follow the mumble I was a foot away before I felt a hand on my shoulder stopping me. I couldn’t freak out not like before a deep breath in I slowly turn back around.

“ Not safe. Take my phone get services and called for help” KP said in his deep savior voice he does when he serious. I glance back at the body. It gosh out blood to point you couldn’t tell where the actual puncture wound was. Where was it that was gonna be on his death certificate. From where I was it looks like his had puss and some strange black markers. He spoke to me but I did not answer him instead I remain quite till I heard the 911 operator.

“ He Hello. Yes huh, this is huh Amaryllis Isaac Smith I’m with my boyfriend Kindred Phillip” I could hear KP be reaping the word deputy. I nod and look at him he was hovering over the body almost studying it. “ Deputy Sargent Phillip. We are huh mm KP where are we” I stop and scream again where are we.

“ Lover Lane South East entranced a quarter-mile away from the lake. TELL ME THE PEEK A BOO SPOT they will know” He shoot out.

I repeated words word by word what he said. I heard the words by I couldn’t answer.

“Yes, there a man baby hurt. PLEASE HURRY” I said. Placing my hand to the phone I look at KP. “ Is he breathing KP “ I shout out. I couldn’t see one of his hands he was knee down to the body his back facing me. I waited but he didn’t answer just slowly got up and brush his hands on his thighs and grab the phone.

“ He dead. We wait to cops come. Maybe an ambulance my girl she a bit shook up. That’s okay Baby ... Baby” KP asked looking down at me. I couldn’t breathe anymore my hands wrap around his broad shoulder for my dear life my right cheek pushed onto his chest till I could hear his heart. Far away by the now dead body, I saw flames surrounding it. Tears gently fell more flames the closer I pulled into him till my vision was blur form fabric of his shirt. With one last breathe I was free-falling down that hole.

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corancoranthemagicalman · 4 years

Text

Okay, so I recently got back into Yuri!!! On Ice (I’ve delayed in rewatching the episodes since I want to do draw alongs and haven’t had the time or energy for that yet.) But I have an opinion that I’ve always wanted to express.

I really like JJ’s character.

When I first started interacting with the show while it was airing, I didn’t have a Tumblr or anything. A lot of the opinions and discussions of JJ I saw were totally negative (and still are.) And to me that’s very disheartening, especially since we see JJ have change (even if slightly). (Now, as I haven’t watched the show in three years it’s not quite fresh in my mind, but this is what I’m feeling as of current.) JJ is an asshole, but I like that.

JJ is cocky. He’s a bastard. There’s no, “oh well he was pressured into this” because all of the skaters experienced pressure in their youth. We see it in the show’s run with Yurio and we can pick it up in the dialogue of the other character’s (maybe especially even Viktor). But what we see toward the end, when JJ flops his last skate, is he is King JJ. I think it was a super powerful moment in Yuri!!! On Ice where we see JJ have his break down and instead of falling to that break down, once he knows he’s plummeted, he loses JJ Style. Do you know how awesome that is to see a character own their loses like that? JJ - whose entire character has been “I’mma win the gold, bitch” - flourishes into this character of “well, I’m still a boss ass bitch.” In fact, if we forgo the personality of the two characters entirely, this attitude is what Yuuri should have had in the previous Grand Prix. Yuuri had that same break down and same plummet, but instead of being sure of himself, he crumbled.

I’m not saying that JJ isn’t an asshole. He is an asshole. His personality can be toxic. But I like that. I think he’s such a cool character. Would I be friends with him? Probably not, but then again, seeing that end of his, I think the lose sort of humbled him slightly. Maybe he didn’t have the large character changing arc that others did (Georgi and Mickey [who we’ll get back to], or any of Yuuri, Yurio, and Viktor) but he had his own change. His own change that he could still lose and still do it in JJ Style. He’s not a loveable character because of his flaws. He’s a well-written and human character that I admire very much because he’s an asshole. It’s actually hilarious because he’s actual such an this is how other people see Americans trope and he’s Canadian.

Now, for people who hate the character. They hate the charcter and not the person and I think that’s unfair. They act like he’s the only toxic character written on the show. Hell, all of the characters have their own version of toxic. Georgi and his dependency on a romantic relationship and Mickey and his dependency on his relationship with Sara are two prominent ones. Honestly, I think Mickey is sort of way more toxic than JJ (at least, in my opinion. Hence the I think. None of this is like, research or anything. It’s just my opinion and how I consumed the show and the characters.)

See, JJ’s family (his parents, his fianceé), they promote his behaviour. His fiance clings to his arm and says, “hell yeah, I’ll marry him when he wins gold because he will,” but then she’s also super supportive when JJ loses (which is honestly so beautiful. I thought she was gonna be a gold digger, but she has such a genuine reaction to JJ’s fall and his rise again that it’s super endearing. In fact, that reaction shot of her and JJ’s parents helps to endear the entire moment of JJ losing in JJ Style.)

But Mickey, well, no one wants that. Emil, Sara, and other characters all acknowledge that his near obsession with his sister is not healthy or helpful. And while I’m not saying that I hate the character (I actually love him supremely, I love the growth of him ;~;). I just think it’s a bit odd that we hyper-fixate on JJ as “the Jackass™️” and don’t acknowledge that there are other characters who have those moments. Maybe they don’t play out as the story’s “antagonist”, but really, every character had their own antagonist and half of the time it was themself.

Hell, even Yurio falls into this category of antagonistic and jackass-ish. The first time we even see Yurio he’s introduced as a psuedo-antagonist. (We learn, however, that Yurio is not Yuuri’s antagonist. Yuuri’s own self-confidence is his antagonist. His battle with his doubt and anxiety, etc... [but that’s it’s own novel, isn’t it?]) Yurio verbally berates Yuuri (after his dog has died, even if Yurio didn’t know it) and he battles Yuuri for Viktor. Granted, Yurio goes from jackass to insecure 15 years old real quick, but why does Yurio’s acts get forgiven “because he’s young”? He’s recognized as an adult to some degree since at age 15 he’s moved to the Senior League, right? Or even still, JJ is only nineteen himself. Who the hell is an adult at 19? We’re still flabbergasting our way through life by either pretending to be confident in what we’re doing or screaming into the void. My point is, all of the characters are actually fairly young and they’re still learning.

I’m not saying that JJ is hanging out with the group and is part of the “and they all lived together happily ever after” ending. I’m just saying I don’t get why his character is constantly either thrown away or treated like the series villain. Yeah, sure, he was certainly Yurio’s villain for a while. And Yuuri’s too. JJ is an asshole, but I think acting like he’s the only asshole is really detrimental. Or really, I think avidly hating a character when there are people who like him, admire his ability to lose in JJ style, is one of the huge downfalls of fandom. Any fandom that I am in, there’s always that one asshole who everyone shits on (and I have been guilty of it from time to time but I’m trying to not do that) because tryying to look for JJ content and getting only putrid hate for the character sucks ass.

Anyways, TL;DR: I love JJ’s character and I think the loathing that he gets as if his name alone brings vile to someone’s throat sucks ass for people (like me) who actually super love the character.

#Yuri!!! On Ice #yoi #JJ (yoi)#jean jacques leroy #yoi spoilers #(im trying to tag anything that could be spoilers regardless of the age of the media #c has opinions #c rants #might delete later idk #I'm not saying people aren't allowed to not like him I'm just saying purposefully going out there--#and shitting on the character in the spaces that people are trying to enjoy him in #is wrong #Jean Jacques Leroy Positivity Post

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