oswald: Jim help me they are torturing me here!!!! they are hurting me help!!!!!!
jim:
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Batman Off-World #4 - "I Am the Storm" (2024)
written by Jason Aaron
art by Doug Mahnke, Jaime Mendoza, & David Baron
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I love that identity reveals between Jim Gordon and Bruce in fic almost always go the same way. Bruce goes "How did you know? Was it my acting?" and nine times out of ten Jim says something along the lines of "No, your acting was phenomenal. You gave yourself away by caring too much, Mr. Wayne."
Because the billionaire playboy cover was perfect and damn near airtight until one Bruce Wayne leapt in front of someone else during a holdup at a gala and "accidentally" got shot. No self-involved airhead with that much money riding on his life would ever -- ever -- let himself think of someone else in that moment.
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jim gordon names his gray hairs after the robins
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I think every Batkid who puts on the cowl to cover for Bruce embarrassingly undergoes the rite of passage of
a) accidentally forgetting to compensate for the ears and nearly getting taken out by door frames
b) voice crack:
Gordon: "Alright, which one of you is under there? You know what, don't answer that-" downs blood pressure meds "-just don't say anything."
Batman:...
Gordon: "Perfect."
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Commisionier Gordon lights up the Batsignal, a long night awaits him and the big black bat.
As usual, a precence quickly appears behind him: Are you sure you are Batman ?
A boy almost tripping over his cape and his helmet nearly falling off his head says: Yes I'm my father.
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New Gotham SWAT Commander Danny
After the Joker once again took the Gotham Gala hostage, the people in the Gala were surprised, as for once the police were able to do anything about it. As the SWAT came in and shot Joker and his goons down.
And saved the Hostage? Bruce Wayne's daughter Cassandra. Not normal.
All were confused; normally, the cops just wait for Batman or fail.
It turns out Gotham had a new SWAT commander who took the shots on the Joker.
+
Danny was pissed but happy too; he just worked here because his mother's brother, Uncle James, works here too.
Then Dad sent him here to learn about police work and see different kinds of things, not just Amity Park. Just defusing Bombs seem to get boring for Danny.
And the first thing he did at his job was kill a clown gang?
Well worth it.
I have no idea why people look so surprised; it's just a clown with a gun, not Superman.
A gun does the job.
And Cass was here too, the last time he saw her was as she teached Ellie ballet.
As Danny was new, he had no real idea about the crime world of Gotham.
When the Gordons visit, they don't talk about Gotham, and the people in Amity Park never cared about the outside world.
They have their Fenton shield as a defense against alien invasions or similar.
Danny meet the cute Cass as she teached Ellie Ballet, who was the Joker took hostage.
Danny shooting Joker had nothing to do with Cass. He saw it later it was Cass after they were done.
Danny was professional and not lead by emotion. A new clean cop in Gotham.
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ID in Alt
I couldn’t stop thinking about all those “Justice League plays F/M/K with the local billionaire population and Batman must sit there and suffer awkwardly” posts so I decided to flip it round a bit
It’s a miracle I made it through this I was laughing so fucking hard the whole time
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Hey hey. Hey look behind you
OG post
LIFE IT NEVER DIE
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Imagining the various ways Batman and Brucie intersect from Jim Gordon’s POV and the funniest one my brain can come up with is:
Batman, examining the crime scene: “…you can’t do cocaine like that.”
Jim Gordon: “Wait. You can’t?”
Batman: “It’s not — if you try to inhale it like he did, you’d choke. But you wouldn’t die. Not even if it was laced with something.”
Jim Gordon, peering over his shoulder: “Uh huh.”
Batman:
Jim Gordon:
Batman:
Jim Gordon: “Why do you know so much about how to do coke?”
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