violent138

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Stephanie, breaking off in the middle of her debrief with Bruce, "I-- what is on your helmet?

"Mind your fucking business." Jason replied, grabbing some tools for his bike.

Steph squinted. "Is that a Paw Patrol character?"

Jason rolled his eyes, ignoring her, but Tim blocked his path, grinning at the stickers.

"Hey it's Marshall. And Rubble. Didn't know you were a fan."

"Seriously?" Jason, realized that more and more of his siblings' eyes were on him and sighed heavily. It was a small mercy that Damian wasn't here.

"Enough already, the kids in the Narrows wanted me to do it, and if anyone says another word they can get fucking paw patrol bandages to match."

The way Steph, Tim and Dick were grinning told him they knew full well that he was blushing under the hood.

But wisely they kept their mouths shut, ans Jason navigated around Tim, sneaking a glance at Bruce as he left, irritated to spot the small smile.

#Too cute #I don't normally favour that stuff but this has melted even my rock solid heart #red hood #jason todd

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The League's Property damage video nights are an insane ritual on the Watchtower, where their largest screen is hijacked so that dragged footage from CCTV cameras, government databases, and social media of the most hilarious, costly disasters can be played.

Some notable mentions:

Superman got confused/distracted trying to save a building cut in half during a fight and accidentally permanently fused it onto a totally different building (they decided to merge companies)

Aquaman flooding a small space to fight someone and the resulting wave lifts all the cars on the street and sends them sailing

One of Oliver's explosive arrows blows up fireworks in warehouse district (leading to several flights getting grounded or rerouted)

Diana lassoed something flying and it yanked her so hard that she took out a traffic light and dragged it fifteen blocks with her

Barry tripped over something while running and was too shocked to phase through anything, going crashing (and bouncing) off multiple cars, a fire hydrant, taking out a post box before finally faceplanting to a halt

Hal used the classified schematics from a next-gen fighter jet to make his own construct, causing the Pentagon to lose all the money they'd invested in it

#Will reblog with more lol #I just got tired for a bit #dc comics #justice league #hal jordan #clark kent #barry allen #the flash #diana prince #wonder woman #superman #green lantern #oliver queen #green arrow #jla #justice league headcanon #batman

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*Dick trying to deal with his brothers from Blüdhaven*

Dick: It’s Tim, he wants to hang out with me tonight but he told me not to tell you.

Damian: Do not hang out with him.

Dick: Why?

Damian: You don’t want me to tell you.

Dick: Ugh, you can tell me, hold on… [thinks he's switched back to Tim]

Dick: Oh my God he’s so annoying.

Damian: Who is?

Dick: Who’s this?

Damian: Damian.

Dick: Right, hold on.. [switches over]

Dick: Oh my God, he’s so annoying.

Tim: I know, just get rid of him.

#obviously a joke #but still amusing to me #idk if this has been done yet #apologies if it has #source: mean girls #batman #dc comics #batfamily #dick grayson #tim drake #damian wayne #batfam #batbros

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Thomas, delighted to meet Barbara: "And you didn't adopt this one?"

Thomas Wayne from Flashpoint (aka Gun Toting Batman) getting transported to Main timeline Gotham would be so disappointed. Remember, this man is a medical doctor as well as a businessman. His family is made of a bunch of dropouts.

Bruce dropped out of college

Dick dropped out of college

Jason dropped dead

Tim dropped out of college

Cass still in school

Damian still in school

Duke still in school

He'll probably try to make sure the last three would finish school and get respectable day jobs.

#thomas wayne #batfamily #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #duke thomas #cassandra cain #Barbara gordon #flashpoint

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and you wonder where his kids get it from

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(Delightful additions from @dreamingaboutsakuratrees)

The idea of the Batkids doing normal people things while suited up is hilarious to me, you know, like Red Robin and Spoiler making the 9 o'clock news while racing through a grocery store because they totally forgot to get the things Alfred asked them to bring for the family dinner. Or Damian and Dick swinging into the Bludhaven Zoo mid-patrol because Dami really wanted to see the new baby tiger. Red Hood buying lemonade from a kid's stand and then standing there awkwardly messing with his helmet, trying not to hurt the kid's feelings. Black Bat, on a particularly tiring day randomly appeared in the nosebleeds of the ballet hall and started sniping phones out of people's hands. Or Signal and a deeply irritated Batman changing out a blown-out tyre in some back alley, earning amused looks.

#batfamily #batfam hcs #Jason todd #Tim drake #stephanie brown #Others lmao too lazy

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OMG the facial expressions too…Will you two just kiss already?

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the babies (dick grayson & bruce wayne) (please don't flop this took a stupid amount of time) (i used a different pen and im not a fan switch back to my bae 😒) (i looove dick grayson as robin)

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I'm suddenly imagining a 15 year-old Bruce bringing an 8 year-old Dick home from a tragedy at the circus. Alfred realizes that he's going to have to file for guardianship of a second kid.

This time it's Dick dragging Bruce into crime fighting? Imagine Bruce becoming Batman specifically to help Dick achieve justice / stop Dick from killing the perpetrator. Imagine Alfred realizing he's going to have to figure out how to train these two kids somehow so they don't get themselves murdered in the organized crime capital of DC Comics.

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Dick: on the one hand, I would give anything to hear my mother’s voice again

Dick: on the other hand, not being able to remember helps me avoid certain types of psychological warfare

*sounds of yelling in the background as Damian mimicries Janet Drake*

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Bruce probably gets so annoyed when he gets into one of his cars and realizes that his kids have adjusted the seats or the mirrors (most obvious when either Jason or Cass have used it), that he refuses to build that capability into the Batmobile at all, regardless of if it would be more useful.

#Sorry I see the man as an atrocious control freak #Like even when the robins were tiny he firmly refused to let them mess with his car #batmobile #batman #batman headcanons #batfamily #batfam #bruce wayne

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Au where Batman’s rogues can tell that someone else is acting as Batman (but not who it is) so they all slump in relief because they can finally reuse old schemes. They don’t have to come up with a new plan for the 30th time this year!

That is until Batman (dick who was very much there as Robin for all these schemes) starts cracking down on them in a 1/4 of the time it should have taken to catch them.

The riddler sets up a glorified treasure hunt? Dick gives the final answer before even looking at the first clue. Two face stages a mock trial? Dick dodges all the rope traps and cuts the “accused free” after cuffing the “judge” who was the actual guilty one.

They are all terribly miffed and try tripping him up…only he was there when they tried to do that to Bruce too.

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While I'm sure bad guys in Gotham have learned over time that the Bats don't kill, that even after bashing your teeth in they'll flag down an ambulance or dump you unceremoniously at the ER, it's still a shaky trust.

One that is easily shaken seeing a child wielding a sword in the dead of night; nobody wants to learn how that is handled nonlethally. Or bad guys just surrendering one late night after running into an alley and Nightwing's standing over their unconscious buddy, holding the gun he wrestled away. They watch Red Hood break into the place they're robbing with a crowbar in hand and just decide they'd rather not chance it. They see a shadow that could be Black Bat and-- you get it.

#batman #Nightwing #Batfamily #Absolutely agreed

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Jason Todd's not-Robin vigilante names

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Bruce is that parent who after raising the craziest fucking kids of all time, thinks everyone else's kid is a terrible influence and all rebellious (or even slightly normal) thoughts his kids have can be traced back to their "friends".

#His kids are literally menaces and ringleaders of actual crimes #War crimes on occasion #I'm sure this has been said before #But this legitimately just happened IRL #batman #bruce wayne #batfamily #batfam #dc comics

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Batman - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types, The Batman (Movie 2022) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne Characters: Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent Additional Tags: Bruce Wayne's eyes never stood a chance, SuperBat, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Clark's having a little too much fun at his expense, i really don't know how to tag this, Not Beta Read, One Shot, Bad Puns Summary:

Clark and Bruce don't see eye-eye about Bruce needing glasses.

#my fic #shameless self promo #superbat #I'm about to become so uncool so fast #i have a sinking suspicion I'm going to regret this #c'est la vie #superman #batman #clark kent #bruce wayne

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tim drake trying to explain something complex but he keeps changing the subject mid sentence and taking ages to circle back to his original point and the only ones who can follow the conversation are kon (used to bart), dick (used to wally), bart (used to tim), steph (also yaps), and babs (autism)