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thisiswhereikeepdcthings · 2 days

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Batman: Why didn’t you tell me?

Batkid: You didn’t ask.

This is a regularly repeating conversation that covers anything and everything. Lost an organ? Well, you didn’t ask. Secretly eloped? Never came up. Adopted a child? Well, I’m telling you now. Spent four months in an alternate dimension and came back ten minutes after you left? Huh, could have sworn I mentioned that, but to be fair it’s not like you asked.

And every. Single. Time. Batman is just like… No? It’s not? Why would I have thought to ask that?

Barbara tells Bruce it’s karma for never telling the Justice League anything. Bruce is not amused. Barbara proceeds to invite him to her wedding.

Bruce: I didn’t know you were dating anyone?

Barbara:

Barbara: Well, it’s not like you asked.

Bruce: *eye spasms*

#batman #bruce wayne #batkids #batfam #barbara gordon

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incorrectbatfam · 3 days

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Check reblogs for additional parts

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frownyalfred · 14 hours

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the safest place in the world is in Bruce's arms. any batkid who gets tugged up against him instantly relaxes. every cell in their body recognizes what it means. they're safe and Bruce has the watch.

#snagging some clone wars slang #late night thoughts #bruce wayne #batman #dc #batfamily #batkids #batfam #TO CLARIFY THIS IS PLATONIC

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blackcupidangel · 3 days

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Things Batmom has said:

“Keep your father out of the kitchen, I’ll be back by morning.”

“We’ll if it isn’t the consequences of your own actions”

“It means you can either drive yourself home or I’ll have Alfred come get you.”

“Look at my handsome boys growing into fine gentlemen.”

“Stay safe, I love you”

“Eyes open, baby birds.”

“Alfred and I made food for the week, it’s in the fridge” *punch* “Your running shoes are on the left side of the closet” *kicks* “Make sure his project is done tonight, it’s due tomorrow.”

“I’m going to let you fix it, because if I fix it I’m going to jail.”

“It’s called,” she raises one fist “fuck around,” then she raises her other fist, “and find out.”

“You don’t even know me, you don’t even know my real name…” she leans in with harden eyes yet calm features, “I’m the fuckin boogie man”

“Do not play with me, I am not the one, two, or the three.”

“Don’t kill him.” //“I’m sorry but who’s the one tied up here?” //“Darling—“// “Because the way I see it, it’ll be in self defense.”

“Just one leg.” “No” “Both legs?” “No!” “You’re right….I’ll go for their kneecap.”

“So…you’ve chosen to disobey me.”

“Alright now…don’t write a check you can’t cash.”

“I’m sorry, what did you say? I couldn’t hear you because of your tone of voice.” She leans in with a hand cupping her ear to encourage a second chance.

“Do I look like booboo the fool?!”

“Brilliant.”

“As mad as I am, I can’t let you shoot him.”// “Just this once?” //“No.” //“I’ll go for the knees. Nothing vital.” //“Hhgh.”

“You really hit the nail on the head with that one Batman.”

“And WHO do you think you’re taking to?”

“Don’t tell your father.”

“Be home by 10, or I start looking windows.”

“I’m so very proud of you!”

“A girl’s gotta be prepared.”

“You know…about the whole guns thing, I’m still not so sure I feel as strongly as you do.”

“Way to go, Bruce.”

“Touch my child, I dare you. Make my day.”

“Ahh…Motherhood.”

—————————————————————————

Heyyyyyyy hotties I’m backkkkkkk. Send me asks and requests as I’m easing my way back into things. It might take me a while to find my flow and writing style so bear with me please. I missed you all so much honestly.

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neptunezo · 2 days

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okay okay what if those holograms in young justice that get put up of dead members are actually connected to their life source and no one knows it until one day, when Dick is down there mourning his dead friends and brother, Jason’s hologram starts flickering. Dick now stares at it and gets Tim, Bruce, and Babs to try and figure out what was going on. It keeps flickering for days until it stops and turns off. They all try and turn it back on, magic and whatnot don’t work on it either, it just won’t turn back on. When they find out Jason is alive, they piece together how the holograms work.

On another day, Dick is sitting down, mourning Wally. When it flashes (no pun intended) and turns off. Dick races to go find Wally.

After Jon goes missing, Damian goes to the holograms hoping to see him one more time, but Jon’s hologram wasn’t up. He waits and waits until Jon finally comes back.

Tim, after seeing how the holograms have helped his brothers, goes down to Kon’s hologram. He sits at the hologram for days, it never changes. After being forced to leave and actually sleep, Tim then goes down everyday to check Kon. It never changes. Ever. Eventually Tim brings Bernard down with him, they sit and watch Kon’s hologram, unchanging.

#i can not stand this #i am surviving on so little sleep #batman #batkids #damian wayne #jason todd #tim drake #batfam #man i love batman #dick grayson #timkon #timbern #bernard dowd #damijon #jonathan kent #birdflash #wally west

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theaceofarrows · 2 days

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Interviewer: Outside of your company's success and your lavish billionaire lifestyle, what's something you love to brag about?

Bruce: I don't have a single grey hair yet. I'm shocked considering all the antics my children regularly put me through

Interviewer: ...

Bruce: And I'd like to point out that my dear friend Oliver Queen has quite a few grey hairs now

#bruce wayne #oliver queen #batman #batdad #batfamily #batfam #batkids #incorrect batfamily quotes

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shyjusticewarrior · 2 days

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Damian, age 8: I am familiar with carpentry and I don't know who my father is. So am I the messiah? I don't know, I could be, I'm not ruling it out.

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daydreamerwonderkid · 3 days

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Gotham born and raised.

Obligatory click for better quality

You do NOT have permission to repost my art.

Fun fact: My sister was trying to say their poses reminded her of The Breakfast Club, but she completely forgot what the title of the movie was and dead ass said to me: "Oh, they're doing The Lunchers pose."

😑😑😑😑

#dreamer doodles #batfam #batfamily #batkids #batsiblings #tim drake #duke thomas #stephanie brown #jason todd #had a lot of fun with this one #still trying to figure out what i want jason's scars to look like

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audhd-nightwing · 1 day

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my take on the Reverse Robins au

damian - bruce met talia and trained with the LoA a few years before becoming Batman. a couple years into being Batman, talia leaves a 7-8 year old damian on bruce’s doorstep. he has to help damian unlearn years of violence and lets him become Batman’s sidekick as an outlet. not sure what his hero name would be yet tbh but i’ll probably just go with Batboy. he becomes a vigilante at 9 y/o

duke - he’s 10 when his parents are jokerized, and he runs away from foster care. he uses his powers to try and become a vigilante but he’s still ten and untrained. batman finds him losing control of his powers and helps him calm down (he works with the justice league, he knows how to deal with super-powered beings). bruce takes him in and while at first damian (14) is wary of being replaced, duke grows on him rather quickly. bruce takes him to the JL and barry & clark help him learn to control his powers. eventually, after being trained by bruce and learning to control his meta abilities, he becomes Signal (at around 13 y/o)

tim - once bruce wayne officially has two kids, the drakes ask him if tim can stay at Wayne Manor whenever they’re out of the country. the boys know each other from galas and get along well, so bruce agrees (he can also tell tim doesn’t have very many friends and is quite lonely). so tim ends up spending a lot of time at the Manor and ofc connects the dots of bruce and his kids disappearing whenever Batman and his partners appear. he basically just tells them he knows and asks if he can do anything to help. so they give him access to the Batcomputer and he directs them on missions and helps with cases. he starts staying at Wayne Manor when he’s about 10 (damian is 16 and duke is 12) and figures out their identities a year or so later. over comms he goes by ‘T’ and later ‘Rumor’. eventually his parents die in a plane crash and he (15) is officially adopted by bruce

steph - she starts out as Spoiler at 13 (damian is 19, duke is 15, tim is also 13). damian has become his own hero at this point: Leviathan. steph works with Signal the most but will work with Leviathan on occasion. damian is a reluctant older brother figure to her and pretends to find her annoying but is secretly very protective of her. she tended to avoid Batman until damian pestered bruce into reaching out and offering to train her which she happily accepted. when they reveal their identities to her she finally meets tim (who is usually just on comms with them) and befriends him immediately. they become besties and an unstoppable duo

cass - same origin of being raised a weapon and running away. she shows up in gotham one day and stays in hiding for a while before letting Batman see her and confront her. she ends up going home with him and the others just accept that they have a sister now. her and damian are the closest because they understand each other best, but tim is her favorite sibling. she is a few years younger than tim and steph. she is 14 when she arrives in gotham (tim and steph are 16, duke is 18, damian is 22). she goes by Orphan and later Black Bat

jason - same origin of stealing the batmobile’s tires at 12. he is three years younger than cass (15). damian (23) has been his own vigilante for years now so jason takes up the Batboy mantle (duke is 19, tim & steph are 17). he is killed by the joker at 15, and returns as Red Hood at 17

dick - same origin of parents death and bruce being at the circus. he is 9, jason is 13, cass is 16, tim & steph are 18, duke is 20, damian is 24. jason and cass are dick’s favorite siblings (and the only ones who still live in the manor). jason is Batboy, cass is Black Bat, tim is Rumor, steph is Spoiler, duke is Signal, and Damian is Leviathan. dick becomes Robin at 10

babs - dick’s friend from school, they’re on the mathlete team together. she is a year younger than him, but they are both very smart. has yet to get into the vigilante business but probably will eventually. knows dick is Robin. her and dick once hacked into the pentagon because they were bored. absolutely terrifying duo. they become friends in middle school- dick is 12, babs is 11

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batcowenraged · 13 hours

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i think tim has a spreadsheet where he ranked and categorized all the flavors of every energy drink brand sold in gotham

he does not remember making it but it is rather useful

#batman #tim drake #batman comics #batkids #batfam #red robin #dc robin

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wondersinwaynemanor · 1 day

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some conversations between Tim and Steph

Steph: It's not working anymore, Tim.

Tim: I know. I'm sorry, Steph.

Steph: Don't be. We tried our best.

Tim: We did.

Tim: We're still going to be friends, right?

Steph: Bitch, please, we're family!!!

---

Tim: Hey, Steph. I'm bisexual.

Steph: Ayyy, welcome to the club, Timberlina.

Steph: I've always known.

Tim: HOW???

Steph: You're anything but discreet, Tim.

Steph: And your Tumblr page has reblogs of shirtless men on it.

Tim: I don't have Tumblr!!!!

Steph:

Tim: No one needs to know!!!!

Steph: But I know you, Timothy Drake!!

---

Steph: Tim, I need your help.

Tim: On what exactly?

Steph: I've been pining on Cass since I've laid eyes on her!!

Tim: Of course you are.

Steph: AM I THAT OBVIOUS???? WHO TOLD YOU???

Tim: I know you, Stephanie Brown!!!

Tim: And we're a house full of detectives.

Steph: Yes, but apparently, not all of you are very good readers when it comes to feelings.

Tim: That includes you.

Steph: I'm not that bad!!!

---

Steph and Tim at the same time:

Steph: Help me arrange a date with Cass!!!

Tim: Help me arrange a date with Kon!!

Steph: Sometimes it's scary how similar we are.

Tim: We're family after all.

Tim: But shall we have PowerPoint presentations on the ideas of the dates?

Steph: That's not necessary.

Tim: I like to plan.

Steph: As long as I get to choose the next color of your nails.

Tim: Deal.

#we need more bi chaotic energy from these two #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect batfam #incorrect dc #batfamily #batman #batkids #tim drake #stephanie brown #dc red robin #dc spoiler #timkon #stephcass #dc comics #yel chronicles

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bats-and-birds-24 · 9 hours

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We all know Batman somehow keeps finding children in the strangest of places, but I want this to apply to the rest of the Batfam as well.

Dick is great with kids and was frequently a babysitter for Lian.

We all know that Jason's great with kids. There have been multiple occasions where the Crime Alley street kids have called him Dad on accident.

Tim likes kids, but has no clue how to interact with them. Like he went to lamaze classes with Stephanie, I feel like he would read up on child psychology and try to apply it to every child he meets.

Damian is a child, and while he can grumble sometimes about having to interact with his lessers, he's always observing them and learning how to act like a kid.

Cassandra honestly gets along better with young children than she does with adults. While grownups have complicated social rules, children are more straightforward.

#batfam headcanons #batfam hcs #batkids #batfamily #batfam #batsiblings #batman

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incorrectbatfam · 3 days

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Welcome to Gotham, the greatest city in the world, where we have smells like:

• Exhaust fumes

• Chemical waste

• Eggs

• Weed

• A porta potty at Lollapalooza

• Batburger fryer grease

• Day-old opened beer

• Anime convention BO

• Strangely alluring flowers

• Something burning

• Microwaved fish

• Corpses

• Sewage

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cardinalcheerio · 18 hours

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Jason upon first meeting dick in his discowing erra:

Jay: Nice haircut

Dick: Thanks!

Jay: did you get it at The BB's?

Dick: the who?

Jay: The Blind Barbers.

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blackcupidangel · 3 days

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Batboys as TikTok’s:

This is one of the rarest moments where they’re not boxing for the front seat. (Batmom has definitely had the talk of leaving the house with decorum with them.) However when you’re a mother with everything under the sun in that purse, plus impatient children…..She has definitely scolded them for breaking the door handle once.

(Thank you to @jinxywinksy for sending this to me.)

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ryemiffie · 2 days

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More quotes from my day as batfam incorrect quotes:

Robin(Damian): I'm actually one of Batman's favourites.

Superboy(Jon): Batman has favourites?!

-

Literally Batman at some point: No Tim you can not have more batgadgets. Oh? Jason is trying to end the world? Well at least he's found something that makes him happy.

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