br-uwu-cewayne

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officer they looked at me first

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DC Twitter must have been INSANE when it got out that Superboy’s dads were Superman and Lex Luthor. Holy shit. The memes. The ship wars. The homophobes. The mpreg jokes. People would have lost their fucking minds. Lex Luthor releases a statement like “he’s a clone of me and Superman no birth was involved” and people are like KINDA GAY OF YOU TO HAVE A SON WITH ANOTHER MAN, LUTHOR. Lexcorp’s PR team locks themselves in a conference room and refuses to come out for love or money.

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this is the ONLY damian wayne design i accept by the way. brown skin, a crooked nose, dark green eyes and thick eyebrows. keep that white-washed monstrosity away from me

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Wow. Just remembered how I saw a sticker of SuperBat porn stuck to the seat on my bus while I was riding to school the morning after a huge mental breakdown. Like some descending Guardian Angel, Bruce Wayne’s right buttcheek was shoved in my face to comfort me in those dark times. Maybe God is real after all

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If I were in charge of DC comics, I'd let Jim Gordon just straight up throw hands.

Just have Batman offhandedly mention a minor career as a fresh-out-of-school professional boxer. Something low key, but suitably impressive. Four professional bouts, all turn 1-2 victories by KO. That sort of thing.

Mention he still gets top rankings even in the unofficial police tourneys, only being beaten by other professional boxers-turned-cops. Have Batman give a curt laugh and mention that even he uses one or two of Gordon's "tricks".

And then just let Gordon show it off. Sure, he's an old man now, not really in the game. But some street punks? Nah, Gordie's got this one and just lays an absolute smackdown on them. Three guys? Three punches.

Of course, let him get overwhelmed, he's not Batman, but like. Gordon came to be the top dog in a police department so corrupt, it somehow overflowed into something resembling legitimate cops suddenly started manifesting (I.E, Harvey Bullock). How the hell do you think he got there without some young, paid-off asshole to trying to turn his skull into abstract art? Beating the little shitbag, before tossing him back out as a warning. Gordon may need guns, but he's always packing at least two, you know what I'm saying?

Have some villains actively keeping their distance against a pissed off, adrenaline-pumping post-middle age man who still has the muscle tone of a minor greek god and as got as close to becoming the bohdavista of boxing as there has ever been bastard of "I will fucking get you" that stands before them there and then.

And then the fight's over. And you remember that Gordon's well past his prime. Old aches, pains, injuries. Have him shake off his punches, massage his hands, complain about having to "take it easy". He's not defenseless, sure, but he's not as durable as he once was.

So yeah, let Gordon throw hands. Let him spar with Nightwing and get one off on him every time they do. Let him bond with his adult daughter in something they both enjoy. Let him have good days where one time in a few he tries, when sparring with Batsy himself, Gordon catches Batman off-guard.

In conclusion: Let Gordon throw hands.

#YYYEEESSSS GOOOODDDDDDDDD #GCPDilf

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Justice League identity reveal where they don’t know who Batman is and one day a bunch of them walk in on him just casually eating yogurt in the cafeteria with his cowl off. A bunch of them recognize him, a couple don’t, and they’re all shocked.

Turns out Batman didn’t realize none of them knew who he was, since it had taken him all of ten minutes and three google searches to put everyone’s secret identities together and he just assumed they had all figured it out by this point. Or maybe he had meant to tell them and then just forgotten. Either way, he regularly interacts with half of them outside of hero stuff and hasn’t bothered with the whole separate persona thing with them in years. Shouldn’t they really have figured this out by now? So what if he forgot? This is clearly on them.

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request from @devine-fem prompted by her post!

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ID in Alt

Top Ten Anime Betrayals: Local billionaire “tricked” into city hall sponsored bowling tournament about to hustle every dirty cop in Gotham out of the bribes they took this month. (240p)

#self reblogging because i am still LIVING for this concept honestly

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guilty conscience 😬 (i watched legion of superheroes movie)

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“Bruce Wayne is actually a really good father and all his children are just like that” is actually my favorite flavor of batfam

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crazy on you!

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From Wonder Woman #793, written by Michael W. Conrad & Becky Cloonan, and illustrated by Emanuela Lupacchino

Bruce knowing J'onn’s secret Oreo stash in the old Justice League Watchtower just feels right.

#THEY!!! DESERVE!!! A TREAT!!!!

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I kinda hate that they took away the fact that Bruce eats steaks well done, he got them well done with sauce on the side so that any juice in the steak would be poison, it was the fact he only trusted Alfred to cook for him that made him eat like that

there's something so cursed about this. i think he would use it to boost his Brucie persona.

#AKDJJGKSJFD NOT FROM THE FUCKING R E F R I D G E R A T O R 🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Good.

#good.

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“Batman and Superman have public fights on the Watchtower to throw off people from looking into their relationship” and “this only convinces people even more that they’re fucking” are two statements that can actually be true at the same time.

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there’s a 50/50 shot Alfred is Bruce’s biological dad

this is entirely based off that one IASIP screencap