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#school stories
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Disappointment the Main Maggot
Assorted gentlefolk, may I first introduce to you, @good-usernames-were-taken, the chaotic and iconic maggot Valerie. She is currently enabling me in various endeavours of brainrot, which will be revealed shortly.
But before that, this maggot had the great pleasure of participating in an actual maggot race during a biology practical class. And I absolutely have to share the tale with you because, with all due respect, what the fuck. I am writing this post listening to Katy Perry's Dark Horse on loop which I think is very sexy of me. Now gird your loins because it's story time.
A week or so ago, Valerie walked into her biology practical class. It was a day like any other. She did not know her life would be changed until she spotted a tray of live maggots that had not been there the week before.
It turned out that their assignment that class was to change the conditions that the maggots were in, and see how it affected them physically. But how would the students test it?
They decided on a maggot race. Each of them selected a maggot to represent them.
Valerie was thinking strategically. She picked a promising maggot, and to quote her, "I selected a really ugly one and it was really fat and I thought that would give it the upper hand, cause it would block its opponents from the race course."
Maggot-shaming aside, Valerie had full faith in her maggot. So much so that she bet 20 pence on 'this thing'.
The time for the race drew near, and then it had begun, and all the maggots started to move. EXCEPT HERS.
What followed next is best explained in Valerie's own, traumatised, words:
"This fat creature just sat there, looking at me. The emotions running through my head were just... I was so disappointed. Five minute passed. Nothing. The little shit was just staring at me.
And then it does something.
It starts to move.
It moves backwards.
IT MOVES AWAY FROM THE FINISH. MY FAT MAGGOT LANDED LAST. LAST PLACE.
So I called it Disappointment."
Now, maggots of mine, you know I love you all. I do. But we all have to agree that Disappointment is absolute the Maggot. The Main Fucking Event. A generational icon, acting in defiance of science and logic, a true representative of the human condition.
Please find below a sketch of Disappointment the Main Maggot by Valerie, to be hung in the Maggot Hall of Shame.
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For the unaware, maggots actually do not have faces. This is an entirely accurate sketch. Thank you Valerie, and Disappointment.
Now I've been informed that I now need to be aware that I have a lot of people reading my content, and act accordingly. So I'm going to add morals to the story!
Remember: Disappointment the Main Maggot says no to following the crowd. It says a fuck you to hustle culture. It holds up a metaphorical middle finger to the System. Disappointment the Main Maggot is out there living its best fat maggot life. It did not care that it was a prime contender with a bodily advantage and there were monetary stakes involved.
Disappointment is Slaying. Be like Disappointment. I'm the Good Omens Mascot. Disappointment is the Maggot Mascot.
We will end this story time with a bit of poetry by Valerie, a haiku, in fact:
Oh Disappointment I put all my faith in you Fat ugly maggot.
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i-eat-lip-gloss · 5 months
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let me tell u
the most accepted i’ve ever felt, the most majestic and inspiring thing i’ve ever seen,
was on the first day of pride at school last year.
more than half the kids there were dressed in something pride. quite a few of them had flag capes, umbrella even saw a kid with a trans flag. there were so many kids and people dressed their queer-best for pride, rainbows, flags, and all. i have never felt so accepted in school or ever in my entire life. sure there were some kids who got kinda pissed at it, but they were really outnumbered so it didn’t matter. one kid said “it’s just June not dress up like fruit loops!” and i honestly burst out laughing. at lunch me and all my friends had little pencil flags (the pole is a pencil; made my umbrella) and Lint had a pretty well sized rainbow flag, and as a group of kids were walking past our table to go get hot lunch, one of them as walking leaned forward and said “eeewwww” but we all honestly laughed. it was pride month, we were being rlly represented, we were too strong to even care. that’s the beauty of pride month to me, it empowers us queers by being and feeling so accepted and represented we’re too strong (emotionally) to care abt what anyone else says
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Hello. for those of you who are unaware, I am a student at Michigan state university. if you've been keeping up with the news, you may know where this is going.
TW: Gun violence, death, shooting
at 8:18 pm on February 13th, shots were fired into a nearby building on campus. from that point on, we were on lockdown. I barricaded myself in my dorm room with my roommate and started reaching out to those I knew.
3 of my classmates lost their lives, and several more are injured. I will be putting updates here for what's going on around campus and any GoFundMes made to support the victims and/or their families.
Please. don't make this another statistic. that could've been me that lost my life. Please fight for me and my classmates. they deserve to be alive today.
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bilightningwriter · 1 year
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Did anyone else get called into the principal's office to become friends with the new kid in school? Or by some other authority figure? Or was that just me?
Like, I don't think it's normal. I was always known as the quiet kid in school, so thus was deemed shy by everyone. Sure, I had friends and usually did make friends with new folks if I got a good vibe from them. But basically every time, whether I made friends with them or not, always got called to the principal's office to be asked if I could be friends with them.
Mind you, very small private school (under 100 students in the whole place small). But still, I don't think my parents knew they did this. Always felt very weird to me.
Welcome to reblog
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paranoid-radio · 3 months
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Public school in the rural south is so weird because you have teachers being blatantly transphobic during class (when it doesn't relate to the topic at all) + there's literal vampire smut that you can checkout from the school library with no issue or questions at all
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onceuponaweirdo · 4 months
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12yro me obsessed with eroticism in poetry after Portuguese classes about poetry: *writes an erotic poem about women for my Portuguese homework*
My teacher:
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My mum seeing it after: Me:
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STORYTIME BC I'M GOING TO GO INSANE I HAD THE SCARE OF MY LIFE
ok ok remember that extra long early morning class from like five posts ago?
so for context the school was closed that day only super intense classes were coming in. my class wasn't the only one, my bff's class was supposed to come in, too. just those two classes, keep in mind. her class is on the third floor, mine is on the fourth and her class starts one hour before mine.
so i come early by like 30 minutes and all the lights are off and all the doors are closed except the lights in the corridor leading to my friend's class so i was like oh they're in there cool and i didn't think much of it.
i started wandering around the school because it was so dark and creepy and cool i literally felt like a ghost. there was a sound of someone turning on a tap and running water so i guessed it was from the bathroom downstairs where my bff's class was but it startled me and kinda made me uneasy right so i wanted to go back downstairs and when i opened the door to the stairwell mr. teacher dad was there and gave me the scare of my life (on purpose mind you he knew i was up there snooping). so i hung out with him and whatever and this creepy cat was following us. i got into a fight with the cat, the cat won.
so my friend's class ends an hour before mine so i told her to come up and visit before she goes back home but she didn't. so when we took a break me and one of my classmates went down to the third floor and the lights were still on but we went all the day down the hall to my bff's class and it was empty so i called her really upset that she left without talking to me and she didn't pick up
i was like ok whatever she's probably tired.
then when i got back home i saw a text from her that was like "oh sorry i didn't come by my class was canceled"
what
what do you mean your class was canceled
WHAT DO YOU MEAN
WHY WERE THE LIGHTS ON
WHO TF TURNED ON THE TAP
realizing that i'd been the only person in the entire school genuinely freaked me out i'm so shook. like ok maybe the guy in charge of opening the building opened that class because he thought they were coming in. but my class on the floor above wasn't open and the lights were off in the whole corridor even though they knew we were coming in too.
guys my school is haunted 😭
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can we pretty please with a cherry on top know the story about the time you got suspended? two cherries?
....fine
HERES THE STORY OF MY ONE AND ONLY SUSPENSION
when i was a young child, i was a hellion. tbf they deserved it but i can tell like 50+ stories from my primary school days that are very very very messed up
this however happened in high school, im australian so the first year of high school is year 7 and you're 12-13.
I went to a new high school where i knew NO ONE, like i hated like 99.9% of my primary school so i went to a completely different high school. Im AFAB so it was a non-religious, non-private all girl school and honestly some of the best times where on that campus!
This happened the third week, i didn't really have many friends yet but before this i was hanging out with a girl ill call Jack.
Jack, to say the least, was NOT a good person and a bully. I said f-that and stopped hanging out with her telling her i didn't want to be involved in her shit.
unfortunately, she had an older sister who was a year older and a foot taller. I found out later that apparently Jack had told her sister "Hannah" that i was bullying her. After lunch one day, i had left i think the library? after lunch? and Hannah and a group of her friends were outside and called out to me. naturally i fucking ignored them because i wasn't a fucking idiot
i go to my locker and my locker was like the last in a row. I would turn to the side to open it so no one would see my code (we had our own locks) so while i was opening my locker, my back to hannah and her friends, i could hear them still calling out to me. I was still ignoring them
suddenly, im being thrown across the row of lockers and now im being chocked against them. (not shitting you) i was being held of the ground and all, like a fucking movie. so naturally i kick/knee her in the stomach.
my memory is a little foggy after this but i remember i bit of hair pulling and scratching as well as shoving around. I remember facing her and screaming "YOU FUCKING BITCH" and she slapped me across the face.
THATS WHEN THE TEACHERS SHOW UP
and im suspended for 3.5 days for fighting and her for 1.5 days :)
fucking bullshit ass teachers, no fucking cameras in that corner "no witnesses" my ass, like 40 people where there but noooo believe the trouble making year 8's who get suspended all that time im sure theyre believable
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anxiety-cheese · 10 months
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i wanted to prove something.
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heybobbygirl · 7 months
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saw a kid with kenny mccormick + mysterion pins on his crocs
got complimented on my outfit 5 times
spanish teacher said she likes me
algebra teacher said she has a fetish for straight lines (very funny)
kid named kenny got threatened with death 3 times (extremely funny)
life is good 👍
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one of my 2nd graders offered the number 69 as his estimate in math class and i've been fooled into a false sense of security thinking they're too young to recognize the meaning of that joke
so imagine my surprise when a few of them started giggling and the sweetest, smartest boy in the class delightedly chimed in with "ah yes, a real gamer!"
.....so anyways which one of you mfs convinced the kiddos on roblox or fortnite that 69 was the haha funny gamer number instead of the haha funny sex number. i'm not mad i'm just disappointed
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I am more stressed about the world Cup finals than my own finals
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wilsonfanboy · 4 months
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Question about your catholic school, are all the boys there somehow both very gay but also very homophobic?
oh EXTREMELY so
They dont really express their homophobia as much as their gayness, but they’ll hump in the hallways, grope each other, spank each other, say they’re dating (it may be fake but they play along with it to the point where can they really even say it’s fake anymore??), and I think one guy once ‘did stuff’ to himself while another guy was talking to him
One guy one randomly told me he was bisexual in science class, but I’m like 60% sure he was joking
Also, one of my friends who’s not as homophobic, once whispered “if you were a dude I’d totally make out with you” in my ear while we were doing a science project together, which is ironic because I am a dude
Anyways yeah half these guys are just genuinely gay and hiding it very poorly so I hope this answers your question
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public-school-things · 6 months
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When my freshman year German teacher left and the new teacher came, it was found out apparently the old teacher was trying to teach us 'Pennsylvania Deutsche' (Amish). Not German. I have literally never gotten over that. THIS GUY WAS TEACHING THERE SINCE THE 90S AND NOBODY. NOT A SOUL EVER NOTICED!!!!!
(This is like trying to teach the modern English language using unaltered Shakespeare)
that is in a way so fucking hysterical. im surprised no one noticed. did you guys not have language standardized tests? either way, thats so amusing omg.
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the thing about orchestra is that the music is so pretty and relaxing and makes you want to fall asleep but you CAN’T. BECAUSE YOU’RE THE MUSICIAN
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fahbev · 8 months
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I’d like to share a personal story that I just remembered.
Ever since fifth grade, I’ve been hoarding pencils. Now that’s a less interesting story for another day, but just know that I collect a ton off of floors.
Now, In sixth grade, I had this lunchbox that had a mesh compartment on the inside for storing a water bottle. I used it to store all my pencils instead. I carried it with me to every class.
I also was always “the art kid” ever since first grade at the latest. I was always drawing.
So, in chorus, we had these folders where we kept sheet music. I kept getting in trouble for drawing on mine. One day, the chorus teacher got tired of telling me to stop, and took away my pencil.
I quietly pulled out another pencil and got back to business.
A few minutes later, my teacher noticed I was still drawing. She took away that pencil too.
I pulled out another pencil.
Now, by the time the teacher noticed that one, my classmates were all going:
“How many pencils do you have?”
To which I responded by unzipping my lunchbox to reveal hundreds of pencils.
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