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lookismaddict · 1 year

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Lookism: Rendezvous 🔞 (Ch. IV) || Gun Park x Fem! Reader ♡

Author’s Note: Hello, thank you for being patient! I’m glad that there are people who read the chapters to my Rendezvous series. If you noticed that in the previous chapter the first part of the chapter got deleted, this was because I realized that it didn’t align to the story at all. It was better to remove that part to prevent confusion in the story. I hope you all don’t mind me doing that. This chapter will be a special one since it’s longer than the other chapters and there will be lots of light-hearted fluff with some playful spice. Also, I included some IRL stuff, like actual locations in Seoul, but my descriptions for each place may not be accurate because I’ve never been there, so I apologize in advance. Consider this 2-in-1 chapter as a gift from me to you for reading this far. I hope you’ll enjoy it! ;)

NSFW Warning: Violence, strong language/cursing, vulgar language, and sexual content (teasing, suggestive content, groping, penetration, degrading, etc.).

Story Summary: You traveled abroad to help support your mother who is sick, back home in Japan. However, once you reached Korea, everything went downhill until you met a stranger who offered you a deal that could benefit you. But who knew that this special encounter would turn your whole life around…

Almost two weeks had gone by so quickly, that you’ve gotten so tired from the continuous training that Gun put you through. He wasn’t kidding when he said that training would get even more intense each day.

All this time, he’s been training you mainly in Kyokushin Karate. You adopted the basics really well in the first week and everyday, he made you endure harsh training.

For instance, there was a day when Gun had assigned you to run twenty laps around in the backyard to improve your stamina. Afterwards, he made you practice one hundred punches and one hundred kicks all on the last day of the first week. Did you eat lunch that day? Well, you better believe that you didn’t! Gun had made you suffer to turn your heart and soul into fighting.

Most of the time, however, he had gotten even more harsher towards you and he became more and more absent each day. He would just assign you to practice certain techniques and then leave you to do the rest, as if he was avoiding you. You realized that this started on the third day of training…

Out of nowhere, you woke up from loud banging on your door. You jolted up from your bed right away, wondering who was making such a racket early in the morning.

“(Y/N) wake up! What the hell are you sleeping in late for?! You have five minutes just to get ready, then meet me downstairs!!!”

You heard Gun’s voice boom in anger from behind the door. You’ve never heard his voice so angry like that, that it made you nervous as hell.

Shit! What time is it?!

You checked your phone and it was a bit past six forty-five in the morning.

Crap, I’m late! Why didn’t I turn my alarm on before I went to bed? I always did that! How could I have forgotten?!

You hurried to the bathroom to get yourself ready and while you got out of the bathroom to get dressed, you remembered that last night you were watching Korean drama on the couch. You could’ve sworn that you did that, yet you wondered how did you even get back to your bed?

What even happened last night after I dozed off? Ugh whatever, this isn’t the time to worry about that right now!

After you got dressed, you ran out of your room then sped down the stairs like your feet were made of lightning. When you got downstairs, there was a protein bar left on the table where you met Gun. This time, he was dressed in one of his many proper suit and tie outfits. He was just sitting there while crossing his arms, waiting in silence. When he locked eyes with you through those wide-rimmed sunglasses of his, he gave you the most deadliest glare that you’ve ever seen in your life.

You apologetically bowed at him multiple times while saying “I’m sorry!” while pleading for forgiveness. However this time, he didn’t let it slide.

“I told you last time not to be late, and for what? Did that not stick into your head at all?! Did you not understand our deal, (Y/N)?! You’re supposed to take this seriously and yet you arrived late like I’m your fucking dog who’s willing to wait for you! How the hell did you manage to […]”

While munching on your protein bar, you got the gist of his morning earful of a lecture. The scolding of a man who was once calm and collected converted into a monster, suddenly disappeared as your ears tuned out the harsh words while it goes into one ear then comes right out of the other.

Ten minutes had passed and he didn’t hesitate to make your life a living hell. Instead of continuing his lectures on how to punch and kick properly, he decided that you should be the one to demonstrate to him what you’ve remembered so far as if you’re the student who will recite back a poem to their teacher. But this time, you had to mimic and show Gun how it’s properly done. For this occasion, he got out a foldable chair and placed it underneath the tree where he had the Makiwara at.

His rules were simple. He’ll tell you to do an action or a technique on the spot and then you’ll have to do it properly in front of him. If you don’t do it right, then he’ll tell you to repeat the move again until he says it’s right.

That’s simple enough. I already done them countless of times, so I should be fine.

For the first move, he told you to do a kick aiming towards the head of your opponent. You did so, by mimicking what Gun did from your previous training sessions. The look on your face says it all, as you smiled proudly at what you just did. Your mood at that moment was starting to get better until you heard the words, “Do it again.” by Gun.

Okay then, one more time.

You repeated the move again then turned to Gun for approval. “Again.”

You repeated it five times, which turned into ten. Then twenty. Then fifty. Then eighty. Then one hundred and thirty.

Your legs was already tired from doing the move repeatedly. You had it with the last, “Again.” that left his mouth as you stormed towards him in anger.

“I’ve been doing this at least a hundred times already, even though I’ve been doing it right all this time.”

Gun raised an eyebrow. “Says who?”

You gritted your teeth while clenching your fists. “Since you think that I’ve been doing it wrong all this time, are you really just going to sit there and behave like an asshat without giving me any tips or clues on HOW to improve myself?”

“Hm…” Gun folded his arms while looking up at the clear sunny sky. “Yes. It’s your fault that you’ve been doing it wrong all this time. I bet you didn’t even pay attention that well.”

This sadistic bastard…

During that time, you swore on your life that you were about to punch that man in the face.

“Gun…”

“Mr. Park.”

“What?”

“It’s Mr. Park.”

This man is just begging for it.

“MR. PARK. Did I do anything wrong to upset you?”

“No, not really.”

“Then… why the petty treatment?”

“I wouldn’t call it ‘petty’ if you couldn’t even handle the training in the first place.”

“Oh, is that so?”

You inched closer to Gun then stopped right in front of his seat. All of a sudden, you grabbed onto his tie and pulled him towards you, forcing him to look up at you from his seat. You leaned in closer to him and whispered in his ear.

“You really just woke up today and chose violence huh, Mr. Park? If it’s a fight you want, then it’s a fight you’ll get…”

Well that took an unexpected turn. Gun was so shocked that he didn’t know what to do at that point. If you hadn’t looked even further down, you would have seen how turned on he was at that moment. He was definitely going to have some UNUSUAL dreams that week. However, he smacked your hand away from him then stood up immediately while straightening his tie.

You looked at him confused as he walked past towards you then said, “Go ahead and do fifty punches, fifty kicks, and fifty sit-ups for today. I have other business to take care of. Right after you’re done here, remember to heat up some food again from the fridge.”

Gun was about to leave until you decided to confront him about what happened last night.

“Wait.”

He stopped in his tracks as you turned to look at his back.

“Did you bring me up to my room last night while I was sleeping on the couch?”

He turned his head around to meet your eyes with a cold dead stare.

“What are you talking about? You must’ve been dreaming too deeply if you’ve decided to confuse your dreams with actual reality.”

At that, Gun left you without even saying a word. For the rest of the day, you haven’t seen him at all since you locked yourself in your room. Until the following day, he started assigning you things to do and left without providing any proper reasons to why he had to go. After that day, that became your actual routine.

When the second week came around, you barely got to see him in the mornings and afternoons now. There was this never-ending tension between the two of you that it made you anxious to the core to even look at him every day for only about ten minutes.

One night, you were heading upstairs to your room right after finishing a k-drama. It was five minutes before midnight and when you were about to open the door to your room, you heard the front door from downstairs open. From the second-floor balcony, you were curious to see Gun again so you took a quick peek.

When he returned home, he was dressed up in one of his fancy gray suits. But this time, his suit was mostly covered in blood. Not like when he just finished beating up people which was not much, but this time, he’s ACTUALLY injured.

Your eyes widened in fear, worried that he might have seriously damaged a part of his body. Without hesitation, you dashed down the stairs towards him.

“Oh my god, what happened?! Are you okay???”

He looked at your worried eyes then immediately tried to dismiss you saying, “This is nothing. Just go to sleep already.”

“No, I won’t! You’re bleeding!!!”

Your eyes scanned his body, seeing that there was blood seeping out from his chest area, and blood coming out from one of his arms.

“Do you have a first aid kit anywhere? I’ll help you treat your wounds.”

It looked like you were determined to stay by his side until you treated him, so how could he say no? Gun knew that you’d keep insisting regardless if he refuses your assistance. Because of this, he decided to just accept it and just get it over with.

“It’s behind the bar.”

You hurried behind the counter of the bar and found the first aid kit. While he watched you get it, he sat on the couch. Quickly, you grabbed onto it, then scurried back to him as you sat next to him on the couch. You helped him remove his suit first. As your hands were about to unbutton his white long sleeved shirt underneath his suit, you completely hesitated while questioning yourself if this was a good idea in the first place. He saw the hesitation in your eyes as he said, “Hurry up. I’m bleeding over here.” to push you to get it over with.

“R-right…” you slowly unbuttoned his shirt for him from his collar all the way down to the bottom of his shirt then helped him removed it afterwards. You noticed how muscular and how in-shape his body was. His muscles were toned and you’ve never seen such good-looking features so close like this before, which made you so astonished.

Finally, you opened up the first aid kit then started by disinfecting his wounds. You got the alcohol from inside it, then dabbled a bit of it on a cotton ball while handling it with a tweezer.

“This is going to sting a bit, so don’t move too much.”

With a tweezer, you lightly patted it onto the wounds on his chest. You were impressed by how he didn’t even flinch at the stinging sensation of the alcohol meeting his wounds. You thought that he must’ve gotten used to it, since this was his life after all.

Gun sat there patiently while watching you treat his wounds properly. All this time, he’s been avoiding you so the both of you wouldn’t get too close to each other. That day when he carried you to your bed was the day that made him realize that he needed to cut his physical attachment to you. It’ll only just cause him to worry about the littlest things that shouldn’t even be important.

However, now that he’s back within your grasp again, his plan failed. It was unavoidable for him to be physically associated with you, especially if you live in his own house. This made him realize how he was the one being the fool here and he shouldn’t have been cold towards you ever since that day when he started to distance himself from you. He could sense that you didn’t have any bad intentions towards him, despite how coldly he’s been acting towards you. You were more kind-hearted in nature compared to him. A horrible man who lives in the world of violence and corruption. Even if he tried to maintain his businesses the legal way, they always ended up in ruin.

Sometimes, whenever he’d come from that exhausting world of bloodshed, he thought that it wasn’t so bad to have someone there to come home to who would greet him. Even if that someone was you. You had made his days more eventful by seeing you and by being with you. He missed the constant bickering between you two and the way you’d sometimes tease him for acting a certain way. Even when you had done something out of the ordinary from most women that he’d met. That all never fails to make him look forward to the next day and the next.

“And… that should be good.”

After bandaging his arm, your job was done. In addition, even the wounds on his chest were patched up nicely. You’ve handled his wounds pretty well, despite not having a degree in the medical field.

“Make sure not to move around too much or else your wounds will open up again. Don’t touch them either and just let them heal for a while. Well, I’ll be going to bed now. Goodni-“

When you got up from the couch and was about to return the first aid kit from where it belongs, Gun suddenly grabbed onto your wrist, not letting you go. You reacted by turning your head around quickly in confusion as you looked at him staring deep into your eyes.

“I’m sorry, for leaving you alone all this time. You must’ve been lonely without me being here and for that, I’m sorry.”

Your eyes widened as you abruptly looked away. You bit your bottom lip, trying to hide back the tears that started to form in your eyes. All this time, you blamed yourself for how distant the two of you grew apart from each other these past few days. You were wondering what you did wrong for him to act so coldly towards you, and if the real reason ran any deeper than that.

His grasp on your wrist slowly released, as you swiftly wiped your tears away feeling embarrassed that he might see you like this.

“It’s alright. I understand that you were just busy.”

After putting away the first aid kit, Gun stood up while carrying his clothes over his shoulder as he walked around half naked. At the same time, you both went up the stairs together then stopped right in front of your room.

“Well, this is my stop. Goodnight.”

He nodded at you once again. Before heading to his room, he said, “Thanks for today.”

You smiled at him then said, “Anytime.” before opening and closing the door behind you. You leaned against the door of your room and smiled to yourself, thinking about what just happened between you two.

“I hope his wounds heal quickly.”

Nearing the end of the second week, your training became more gruesome than before. Since Gun had already taught you the basics, he wanted you to be put to the test.

He decided to hold mock fights, which were fights that shouldn’t be taken lightly but not too much to kill someone. After all, he still needed to keep you alive. When these mock fights took place, Gun was excited to see how much you’ve really grown in progress.

All of your movements were almost perfected. Your punches, your kicks, and your blocks combined became sights to marvel at for him. Compared to the week before, your strength became terrifyingly stronger.

Now, your movements were more agile and you were much more cunning than a fox. From this, he found you even more attractive by the day. Your hits and attacks were more powerful as the impact from getting hit once will definitely land him on the ground this time.

During the mock fight, you came at him at every direction. From the front, from his sides, even from up in the air, you didn’t hesitate at all. Your stamina from your previous training sessions have improved, barely even stopping to catch your breath. Really, you were in the zone. Your eyes remained sharp and focused. Also, your breathing became more controlled than before.

While Gun was about to come for a jab, you dodged him swiftly as he barely missed you by a hair. Eventually while he reached out to you to grab onto your shirt by the collar to pin you down, you bent your knees almost as low to the ground then spun wildly in front of him, kicking him by the ankles and knocking him off of his feet. You saw that even from that low kick you just did, he was about to pull himself up with one hand but you grabbed onto his arm then pressed it onto his chest. At the same time, you pinned him down by sitting on top of him. You trapped him in between your legs, locking him with your knees. With one of your arms, you kept his arm pinned on his chest then striked with a punch to the ground, right next to his head as his eyes were staring right at yours from below you. The punch near his head had caused a major fracture on the ground due to the hard impact of your fist.

At that very moment, your body finally gave up its strength as you collapsed onto him. You were too tired to notice that you were pressed up against his body, as you laid there on top of him heaving heavily. As you were trying to recollect your tired self, you felt Gun’s free hand lay on top of your back.

“Well done, (Y/N). You’ve improved immensely.”

You looked up at him and smiled while sweating profusely. “Thanks!”

“Also, since it’s almost the end of the month, I’d like to give you a reward.”

Your head tilted a bit to the side, curiously. “A reward? For what?”

“For your hard work. You’ve kept up with the training and your skills have blossomed greatly. And for that, I’m taking you out to eat dinner for tonight.”

Your eyes widened in excitement. “What? Really?! Oh my god, I haven’t been out in a while! I almost felt like a hermit being stuck in here-”

“Don’t push it.”

“Sorry…”

It’s true though.

Just seeing that huge smile on your face made Gun feel some type of way. It was a strange feeling that he still couldn’t quite figure it out. It was like his chest was being squeezed from the inside. Was it because you were still pressing against him that he’s feeling this way? He couldn’t tell.

“(Y/N).”

“Hm?”

You sat up properly then looked down at him.

“When are you going to get off of me?”

Huh?

Finally, you realized that you were still sitting on top of him, with your hands on his chest.

“I’m so sorry!!!”

Panicked, you stood up as soon as possible as you took a few steps back from him. You placed both of your hands on your face, pressing your sweaty palms onto your burning cheeks.

Ugh, how embarrassing.

Gun saw your rushed reaction from the corner of his eye, then chuckled lightly to himself.

“What a strange woman.” he mumbled.

He cleared his throat after getting himself up and patting his clothes down from the grass.

“I almost forgot to mention. When you’re out with me, dress decently. I’ll come pick you up in a few hours. I still have some things to take care of outside. Make sure that you’re ready to leave by the time I get back.”

As he walked in front of you to head back inside, you nodded before walking side by side with him.

It was close to five in the evening and you were getting dressed until you heard the notification ding go off from your phone. You grabbed your phone from the bedside table and checked to see who it was from. It was a text message from Gun that said,

“Meet me in front of the house in 10 min.”

You replied with a thumbs-up emoji as you got your small brown satchel before leaving your room. The history behind that satchel was that you bought it from the weekly outdoor neighborhood market held at your old neighborhood back in Japan. You named it “Old Reliable”.

Hehe, my favorite bag.

When you got to the bottom of the stairs, you made sure that you had everything with you before you opened the door to leave.

Phone? Check. Wallet? Check. Alright, everything’s here. Time to head out!

You swung the door open then slowly closed it behind you. Right on time, Gun pulled up into the driveway right in front of you in his tinted Rolls Royce car. As he unlocked the right door next to the driver’s seat, he rolled down the window for him to speak to you. He was already dressed fancily, in his black evening Louis Vuitton gentleman’s suit that he rarely wears for special occasions. On his sleeves, you spotted gold cufflinks that matched his expensive suit.

“Get in, we’ve got-”

His voice trailed off into silence as he stared at your outfit.

“What are you wearing?”

“What? What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”

He was eyeing your “I <3 Tokyo” shirt and your Bermuda shorts that was paired with cheap sandals.

“I told you to wear something decent. Your outfit looks like you’re just going to buy a quick meal at a convenience store.”

“What? What do you mean?! You told me to wear something ‘decent’ so I’m wearing something decent. At least I don’t look like a bum!”

Gun’s poker face spoke louder than words.

“Just get in the damn car. Now we have to make a few stops before we eat.”

“Hmph.”

Irritated, you scrunched your eyebrows as you opened the door then got into the seat next to him. Afterwards you slammed the door behind you before turning away from him in your seat while crossing your arms. The dinner hasn’t even started yet and the two of you were already in a bad mood.

In about thirty minutes, Gun parked the car in an empty spot right in front of a classy looking building, with very unique architecture. It was a beautiful building that you’ve never seen before, as its design rivaled all of the other buildings surrounding it. The glass panes were designed so curved-like that it drew you to it in fascination.

While the both of you exited the car, you asked Gun, “Where are we?”

Gun simply replied by saying, “Cheongdam-dong.”

You looked around you, observing your surroundings until one building in particular caught your attention and it was the one that so happened to be standing right in front of you.

“Wow, pretty.” you breathed out loud as your eyes twinkled, until you realized that this place was no ordinary place.

Wait a minute… he must be joking.

Your mouth dropped to the floor when you read the huge words, “Louis Vuitton” that was framed on the building in front of you.

LOUIS VUITTON?! WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE? I THOUGHT WE WERE HAVING DINNER?

Gun then walked ahead of you then turned his head around as a smug smile was plastered on his face.

“Are you just going to stand there?”

You blinked at him a few times dumbstruck, as you hurried and followed right behind him.

A bunch of store employees bowed and greeted him right as he entered the store. You just watched at his interactions with one of the employees as you stood there behind him.

“Good evening, Mr. Park. Are you here to pick up any orders that you’ve made?”

“No, I’m here to buy new clothing for someone.”

“Oh? This is so rare Mr. Park! Who will you be buying clothes for today?”

Gun gestured towards me. “For her.”

Your eyes widened in surprise as you harshly whispered to him from behind, “Hey, what the hell are you saying?! I don’t need anything, so you can just forget it!”

The employee peeked from over Gun’s shoulder, as she silently scanned you from head to toe. You stood there awkwardly as you stopped whispering to Gun abruptly. Afterwards, she turned back to Gun again as if you didn’t exist.

“Oh my, sir. You’re so generous! What type of clothes would you like to buy for her?”

For some reason, the employee’s tone when she said “generous” rubbed you the wrong way as you glared at her from behind Gun.

“Something elegant and proper that would pair her with what I’m currently wearing.”

“Alright sir, I’ll see what I can do. You may pick any piece from our updated catalogue.”

She grabbed a binder on top of a counter that displayed expensive jewelry then handed it to Gun.

He flipped through the pages and pointed at a few clothing, while showing her the ones that he chose as he stood side by side with the employee.

“Have her try, this one… this one… this one… this one… and this one right here.”

The employee smiled then bowed at Gun. “Will do, Mr. Park. Please take a seat over there while we fit her into the right clothing that you’ve chosen for her.”

He nodded at her, then turned around to face you. “I’ll see you in a little bit.”

“W-what…?”

“Oh and, give me your bag.”

“What?! What are you going to do with Old Reliable?!”

“Old… Old Reliable? Who names their bags? And besides, it’s not like I’m going to do anything bad to it. Just what the hell do you take me for?”

You were suspiciously eyeing him as you hesitantly handed it over to him.

Once he had your bag in his hands, he smirked at you before walking towards one of the empty seats in front of the fitting room. As he sat down, he dropped your bag nonchalantly onto a seat next to him then picked up a “Men’s Trending Styles” magazine and looked through it. However, when he let go of it, your bag skidded off of the nearby seat as it accidentally dropped onto the floor.

That son of a…

“Gun, wait!”

You were about to chase after him until the employee that he was talking with had grabbed onto your arm and guided you towards the opposite direction where the fitting room was.

“Right this way, ma’am.”

You had no choice but to comply and trust them with your new chosen wardrobe look.

. . .

Fifteen minutes have passed, as Gun glanced at his Rolex watch and saw that it was six past ten. He was wondering what it was taking you so long for you to get changed.

Gun placed the magazine he had back on the table where he found it from. He grabbed onto your bag then stood up. He was about to walk towards the fitting room until he saw the curtains to the fitting room draped open.

“Damn, what took you so long to…”

Right in front of him, was a you that looked like a completely different person. Gold glittery hoop earrings dangled from your ears that had the letters LV on each side. You were dressed in a two-piece black silk top and pencil skirt with a slit on the side, barely showing off your left leg. The delicate black silk top was a long-sleeved blouse which had intricate gold buttons centered all the way down the blouse and was tucked into the skirt. The skirt was sleek and had a gold embroidered LV print on the side, showing off your elegant figure. On your shoulder was a special edition black and white Louis Vuitton handbag, which had the LV pattern spread throughout its surface. And lastly, your shoes were tall black high heels which had LV gemstones centered at the front of each shoe.

As Gun looked at you up and down, he thought for a second that he was staring at a goddess. He couldn’t stop staring at how drop dead gorgeous you were in the clothes that he had chosen for you. At that very moment, he was left speechless. Throughout the store, all of the focus was on you that even the employees were marveling at how pretty you looked in your new outfit.

Gun cleared his throat before walking towards you. You shyly looked away from him as you looked down at the expensive clothes that you were currently wearing.

“H-how does it look…?”

In Gun’s mind, he was thinking of the words “breath-taking” and “stunning”, yet not even a single word could escape from his mouth.

You took the silence from him as a sign of disappoint, as you bashfully twirled your finger on the side zipper of your skirt.

“I knew it. These types of clothes doesn’t even suit me. I’m sorry that I wasted your time. I’ll just go and-”

As you turned on your heel to go back to the fitting room, he grabbed onto your arm, preventing you to leave from his sight.

“Don’t. It really does suit you.”

You slowly turned your head around to view his face, which looked like he just mustered enough courage just to say it in front of you. In your head, you couldn’t help but laugh and thought that he was adorable. You warmly smiled up at him, placing your hand on top of his hand, that was still gripping your arm. While doing so, you felt your heart started to beat rapidly as the both of you inched closer together while still locking eyes with one another. The room was moving in slow motion around you, until-

“Mr. Park, You have excellent taste! I already removed the tags already, since it looks like that you’ll be purchasing the items right away. Also, I put her original clothes in a separate bag just for you.”

The employee who helped you out held out her hand, holding a Louis Vuitton shopping bag with your old clothes in it.

What a way to kill the mood.

You immediately backed away from him, startled by the employee. While you were backing up, one of your heels tripped on a cable wire on the floor which was connected to a nearby light display of featured bags, which caused you to stumble backwards. You closed your eyes, expecting your back to come in contact with the floor, but you didn’t. When your eyes slowly fluttered open, you saw Gun’s face right in front of yours. Not to mention, the feeling of his strong arm wrapped around your waist while his other arm was supporting your back from falling, was enough for your face to turn bright red.

What in the k-drama shit is this?!

Your mind couldn’t process what was currently happening, as you were almost at the edge of disassociating. Meanwhile, the employees who saw what just happened were squealing in excitement at what they just witnessed in front of them. For instance, one employee said, “Oh my god, did you see that? She’s so lucky!” While another one said, “I wish I had an Oppa who would buy me stuff then save me from falling like that!”

“Are you okay?”

Gun was staring at you with his eyebrows furrowed in confusion while still holding onto you in his arms. Embarrassed, you quickly regained your balance by holding onto his shoulders to help yourself stand up properly.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

He sighed while taking the bag from the speechless employee that was still standing in front of you two.

“Be careful next time and don’t be an airhead.”

“An airhead?!”

As he walked towards the cashier to pay for the clothing and accessories, you scoffed while crossing your arms.

“How can he be such a gentleman and a dick at the same time?” you whispered to yourself while waiting for him to finish the payment.

After buying the clothes for you, all of the employees walked you both out of the store then waved goodbye at the both of you. You were just following Gun while walking down the street to your next apparent destination.

“Oh, I’ll take that.”

As you reached for the shopping bag with your old clothes in it, he dodged your reach while holding the bag even farther from you.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll be the one to carry it for you.”

“Um, okay. But where are we going though?”

“You’ll see.”

When you reached your destination by foot, your feet were already killing you due to the heels as you went inside a fancy beauty parlor with Gun.

The cashier at the front desk greeted the two of you as she said, “Hi! What can I do for you?”

Gun pointed at you then told the woman behind the counter, “Give her the best treatment you’ve got.”

“Okay sir, just wait here and we’ll take care of her for you right away!”

With just those words, you were sent off to the wild once again.

A hair stylist made you sit down on a hair salon chair, where they styled your hair with an iron hair curler. Afterwards, a makeup artist and a nail manicurist did your makeup and your nails for you. They were gossiping away about famous Korean drama actors and actresses when they were pampering you nicely. All this time, you were wondering if this is what it really means to be living as a real “woman”.

All of these became new experiences for you. You’ve never dreamt about doing all this since you didn’t have enough money to even waste on such things that didn’t matter to you. However, you came to the realization that you wouldn’t have done this once-in-a-lifetime thing if it wasn’t for Gun, who took you to all these expensive places so far.

The hair stylist that did your hair caught you smiling to yourself as she asked, “What’s this? You thinking about your boyfriend waiting for you at the front?”

“Huh? Oh, no no no! He’s not my-”

The makeup artist jumped in as she said, “Awww, how cute. You’re so lucky to have such a handsome man as your boyfriend!”

“No, really, we’re not a-”

“Don’t be shy dear, and have some confidence! Be proud that you have such a hunk of a man. We’ve all been dying to see one come in here, but we rarely even see such fine eye candy. Right ladies?” said the older manicurist in admiration.

The rest of the beauticians nodded in agreement.

You just laughed in full embarrassment.

He’s not my boyfriend though…

“You’re all set ma’am!”

One of them brought over a mirror for you to take a look, and wow. They really did a good job. Once your eyes met the reflection of that mirror, you were completely unrecognizable. The work they did on you was incredible, especially the makeup. Who knew that the power of makeup would turn you into a different person? Your hair was all feathered and curled softly, while your makeup seemed natural. Not too bold, but still managed to make you look a little different. Your nails were done as almond French tipped nails, which were classic and beautiful at the same time. The tips of your nails were painted white while the rest of their color were polished in light natural pink.

“Oh my god, you’re so pretty! You really do look like a famous person!”

“Ah, to be that gorgeous is such a blessing. If you and your boyfriend ever do get married and have children one day, they will definitely be beautiful!”

Your cheeks started to heat up from that last unexpected comment as you watched the stylists around you giggle in delight.

. . .

After they were done with your treatment, they finally released you. They guided you back to where Gun was waiting for you near the front desk. While slowly walking towards him, your eyes met his as he stood up to see your final reveal.

Gun believed you were already pretty, but who knew that you could be even more beautiful than any woman he’d ever crossed paths with. Just standing there in front of him made him admit to himself that you are definitely his dream girl. Just everything about you was perfect. Your gorgeous face, the way your curves show off your perfect figure, your silky smooth hair, your relentless strength, your selflessness, and your amazing personality made him feel something different towards you. Even your imperfections were perfect to him, even though he wouldn’t have thought so at the very beginning of your encounter with him. However, he wondered what you were doing to him that made him feel so unlike himself recently. What type of effect did you really have on him? How can someone as cold as himself, suddenly be so moved by someone who’s the complete opposite of himself? All of these thoughts running through his head made him lose track of what was happening right in front of him.

“Gun, is everything alright?”

His consciousness seem to have returned to him as he saw you waving your hand in front of his face, trying to get his attention.

“I’m alright.”

The beauticians who were watching the two of you were smiling and giggling. You heard one of them said to the rest of them, “Aww, look at them having their little moment. He’s so speechless to see his girlfriend all dressed up and fixed just for him!” While they started to cheer you two on behind you, you turned around to see what they were doing behind you then reacted shyly as your face started to burn in embarrassment once again.

Ah geez, not again. Why can’t they just take the hint already?

From Gun’s peripheral vision, he glanced to see the specialists who gave you your treatment to be watching the two of you, which made him take a step back from you then cleared his throat. “They did a great job at taking care of you.”

“Oh yeah? I think so too. But I’m even more grateful towards you, so thank you.”

Gun suddenly turned around, trying to contain his cool when he heard those words leave your mouth. While looking away, he then said, “Don’t misunderstand my intentions. I just don’t want to be seen out with a woman who doesn’t fit my tastes.”

And we’re back to square one again.

“Wow, you never fail to ruin a heartwarming moment. You should keep a track record of how many times you’ve done it so far.”

He sneered. “At least I don’t dress like a tourist.”

The two of you started bickering once again that the stylists who were still watching believed to have witnessed a “lover’s quarrel”.

. . .

After thanking the parlor staff for their excellent service, you bid your farewells to them as you and Gun walked back to the car.

When you finally got in the car with Gun, the thought of your precious bag came in mind.

“Old Reliable! Where did you go?!”

With such a quick reaction, you turned around on your seat then rummaged through the backseats of the car. As Gun started the car and was about to put it in reverse, your sudden outburst caused him to release the break. However, he caught himself by stomping on the break with force, preventing the car from almost crashing the parked car that was in front of you. The sudden halt of the car then made half of your body fall down below, into the backseat car mats.

“The hell are you doing?! Just sit down already!”

“Where’s my bag?!”

“What do you mean? I put that thing in the shopping bag with your clothes! They’re in the trunk!”

“Really…?”

You sighed in relief as you picked yourself up from the mats then slouched back down into your seat.

“Unbelievable. Over a bag…” Gun grumbled in an annoyed tone. He got a cigarette from his pocket then lit it for a quick smoke, just to relieve the unnecessary stress that you have brought upon him. Not in a million years, did he think that he would have to go through this. But if he had a choice to choose who to go out with between you or Goo, he would’ve chosen you. Goo was just on a whole other level of chaos that Gun thought that it’d be impossible for himself to get through it if there were to be a car accident. He won’t be able to stand him if he was stranded with him for days or else he’d have to resort in killing him before a stranger finds them. This whole “stranded” scenario occupied his mind while he drove the both of you to the dinner location that he chose for the night.

Gun brought you to a five-star restaurant called “Pierre Ganaire à Séoul,” located on top of the Lotte Hotel in Seoul. When you got there, the whole restaurant literally displays high-class service.

The whole entire restaurant had dimmed lights surrounding the entire French gold interior. Glass chandeliers were suspended from the ceiling above illuminating dim lighting, which was complimented by the dimmed lighting of candles on each table. The ambience in the room was definitely classy and the mood from its customers was definitely romantic, fitting for a high quality French restaurant.

While you stood there looking around in astonishment, Gun held his arm out for you to be properly escorted to the table that he reserved for the both of you.

“Shall we? While I’m being nice.”

Smirking, you politely took his arm in yours, wrapping yours around his as the two of you walked side by side towards your table. While you passed by some tables on your way over there, many of the people who were already seated turned their heads to glance at you and Gun. The impression that the both of you exerted together was very noticeable, as if you two were a power couple. A woman who you passed by gasped as she whispered to her friend saying, “Oh my god, did you see what she was wearing? She had on the newest collection of Louis Vuitton!” Her friend replied saying, “I know! And did you see her boyfriend too? He’s so hot!” Other people around you were even convinced that you two were celebrities.

The eyes that you felt on you and the gossip surrounding you made you uncomfortable, making you glance at your feet shyly, but Gun reassured you by leaning into you and holding you closer to him. Whispering, he said, “Don’t worry too much and just let them stare and gossip. They’re just wishing that they could be us right now.”

When you got to the table that he reserved, you couldn’t believe your eyes. The table was located near a big window that had a breath-taking view of Seoul, with its city lights twinkling below. There was a big bouquet of red carnations sitting on the side of the table, with a small lit candle placed beside it. And centered right on the table, was a gold placard displaying the words, “Reserved for Jong Gun Park & (Y/N) Sasaki.”

Gun went around you to pull your seat for you in such a gentlemanly manner, making you feel slightly touched by the treatment he was giving you.

“Oh Mr. Park, you’re such a gentleman.” You teased as you sat on the seat that he offered you.

When he took his seat right across from you, a waiter appeared right in front of you.

“Good evening sir, and madam. Welcome to Pierre Ganaire à “Séoul. My name is Hyeon-Jin and I’ll be your server for tonight. Right now, we are offering our best alcoholic beverages for the evening. Most of our wine have recently been imported from France, and they are now available. Here are your menus.”

When the young waiter handed out your menus, you flipped through it to see what they had to offer.

What in the world? I’ve never seen so many zeros before for just food!

Most of the beverages and food that you’ve looked through seemed to be very expensive, that even if you converted the prices into yen, you know that you couldn’t even afford to pay it with the money you currently have. Also, most of the food on the menu weren’t familiar to you since you’ve never had French cuisine before. Just looking at the names for each dish made your head ache when you tried pronouncing it to yourself while reading the menu. Gun noticed that you were struggling to choose a meal from the menu so he took the initiative to offer for you.

“We’ll have two glasses of your finest red wine. Make it Domaine Leroy Musigny Grand Cru. Also, we’d like to have today’s evening special from the Grand Menu.”

“Alright sir, I’ll get that for you right away.”

The both of you handed back the menus to Hyeon-Jin then watched him dash away towards the kitchen. You finally turned your attention to Gun and asked, “How?”

“How what?”

“How do you even know what to order from that? And how can you afford to pay for something so expensive, even for just food?”

“I have my ways.”

“Of course you do.” you said sarcastically, as you looked down at the incredible scenery from the window.

“Here.”

Without warning, he reached inside his suit pocket and took out a small narrow envelope then handed it to you. When you took it, you asked, “What’s this?”

Gun raised an eyebrow while crossing his arms. “Don’t tell me you forgot about our deal.”

“What? But isn’t it a little too early to give me the money now?”

“It won’t make a difference anyways if I had given it to you later so consider this as one of my gifts to you.”

Sighing, you unwillingly put the envelope into your Louis Vuitton bag.

“I swear, I’ll pay you back.”

“Don’t. It’ll take you too long to pay me back.”

“No, no, I will. Mark my words, I’ll pay you back for everything. For the clothes, the shoes, the bag, the makeup treatment, the dinner. Everything.”

Gun chuckled arrogantly. “Are you sure? They’re all pretty pricey.”

“Yeah, I’m sure. It doesn’t feel right to pay you back. Just tell me how much did everything cost.”

“Alright…”

Gun leaned in closer to you from across the table then whispered the total cost of his expenses into your ear. Right when you heard the amount, you could already hear God calling to you from up above because of how screwed you were.

“On second thought, I’ll just return everything that I can and I’ll just pay the rest of the things. Haha…”

I can already feel myself fading into dust…

Gun thought in his head that your reaction was priceless. He enjoyed these little moments with you that became so amusing to him, that it grew on him. He never had anyone offer to pay him back before, for something that he had personally given. To him, this was a first. If it was any other woman that he’d offer gifts to, they’d gladly accept them without hesitation. But you? From the start, you said that you didn’t even need them. That was already a rare sight to behold as you became a rare jewel to Gun. A true diamond in the rough. Your simplicity may be overlooked from the start, but your growing strength and charms were getting to him and he doesn’t know what to do.

On the other hand, you seemed to have noticed how close the two of you had gotten. A month hasn’t passed, yet it felt like the two of you had gotten closer than before. Almost like old friends who decided to have dinner with one another. In the candlelight, you admired his handsome caricature, his wide shoulders, his muscular body seeping through his expensive clothing, and his rich fashion sense right in front of you. He was definitely out of your league, but you still felt drawn towards him regardless of how you two live in completely different worlds. However, you weren’t just physically attracted to this man. This mysterious guy sitting right in front of you became so captivating to you. You felt like you just wanted to unfold all the little secrets that he had lying underneath his perfect physique. You liked the way he was mostly direct with you, when he needed to. His face was serious all the time, but you always looked forward to seeing his rare facial expressions. The constant arguing about the most littlest things that you both always got into was pretty ridiculous, that it was almost laughable. But looking at it now, the memories of those times somehow brings a smile to your face. Just having him with you, or even seeing him right in front of you, made your chest ache. These factors made you feel lucky and glad that you chose to be with him instead of accepting Goo’s offer. You wouldn’t have met such a great companion if you hadn’t. A companion? For some reason you thought that word didn’t suit him. How do you even label him? A roommate? As a trainer? A teacher? A partner? A friend? A close friend? They all seemed to have confused you. What even is your relationship with this man? You were unsure of yourself but why does it feel like you want something more than that? Were you actually starting to… like him?

“Hey, remember you told me on the first day that I’m not supposed to tell anyone about what our plan is and what we do?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, what if someone sees us? I know that the people that you’ve mentioned before from those gangs may not know me, but they DEFINITELY know you.”

“Yes, and?”

“And… wouldn’t it be bad if they stop to question us when they see you?”

“Okay, well think of it this way. You and I can technically say anything to them about each other, as long as we don’t disclose any information to them that involves our plan. It’s like acting. And besides, those crews aren’t from Seoul so we have a low chance of ever coming into contact with them.”

“Ah I see. So… I can say that I’m your cousin or something?”

“Yes, you can.”

“But… I can’t date my cousin though…”

“What do you mean by tha-”

“Sorry for the wait, sir, madam!”

You jumped a little, startled by Hyeon-Jin’s abrupt appearance. From the candlelight, no one could see how much of a fluttering mess you were, embarrassed by the possibility that Hyeon-Jin could have listened in at the wrong time. On the contrary, Gun cleared his throat, trying to hide his enjoyment from your sudden reaction.

“Here are your beverages.”

He pulled out two wine glasses from the bar cart of beverages that he was strolling around with, then placed a wine glass each on your sides. Afterwards, he brought out a wine bottle, then opened the bottle with a pop by using a wine corkscrew opener.

While pouring each of you a drink, he explained the significance of the wine in his hand by saying, “Domaine Leroy Musigny Grand Cru is a red wine that has a refined taste. It is of the finest quality, as it is usually enjoyed during special occasions and is normally purchased by the rich and powerful. Are the two of you celebrating anything tonight?”

“Erm…”

“Yes, we are, actually.”

What?

Your eyes turned to Gun looking at him, all puzzled.

“Oh wow, no wonder you reserved such a popular spot sir! We always get a lot of requests to reserve this specific table, mostly for romantic dates or anniversaries. And it’s pretty difficult to get a hold of this spot since there have been many calls who ask us to save this seat for a particular event. Did you reserve this table because you wanted to celebrate your anniversary?”

Aw man, not another misunderstanding! How many times have we been experiencing this today?

“Hyeon-Jin, we’re no-”

“Yes, something like that.”

What is this guy talking about? This isn’t even an anniversary!

While you were listening in on their not-so-true conversation, you decided to take a sip out of your wine glass.

“Ah, I see. That’s very thoughtful of you to reserve a special spot for you and your wife, sir!”

All of a sudden, you started choking on the wine you were sipping on as Hyeon-Jin’s words caught you off guard.

Hyeon-Jin gasped, as he said, “Oh no, madam! Don’t drink your wine too quickly! Here, have some water…”

While suffering in your coughing frenzy, you were patting down your own chest while coughing before accepting the water that Hyeon-Jin poured for you in a new glass.

Gun caught your reaction as he was trying his hardest to hide his smugness, by turning his head away from the small chaotic scene happening in front of him. He was doing his best to focus on the scenery from the window with such a straight face, when clearly, he’s enjoying your reactions by the minute. Who knew that he’d be entertained at a place that’s meant for sophisticated tastes and refinery?

“What was up with that reaction?” he whispered to himself.

Gun managed to compose himself as he turned his attention back to Hyeong-Jin saying, “I have to apologize, my wife can be a little clumsy while drinking sometimes.”

He managed to get a reaction from you, since you could feel the heat rise in your cheeks again in huniliation.

This guy… How can he say it with such a straight face like that? So, if he wants to play around like that, then fine. I’ll play his game.

After taking a few sips of water, you turned to Gun and smiled at him, with a hidden malicious intent.

“Oh honey, you’re such a jokester!”

You slowly reached your hand out to him, as yours met his. Your hand caressed his hand teasingly and ever so slightly, which lit up something inside of Gun. That playful smirk on your face gave him a reason to continue this hidden game between the two of you.

As you stared into Gun’s eyes, you already knew that your pretend date with him has commenced. Now, you two get to show each other’s acting skills.

Time to become a snobby rich person.

Gun asked Hyeon-Jin, “Will the food be arriving soon? My wife wants to eat as soon as it gets here.”

You laughed like what a haughty rich person would while smacking Gun’s hand in a bashful manner. “Oh stop it honey, I’m not a pig! But I’ve always been dying to taste the food here!”

“Oh yes madam, the food here is exquisite! You’ll definitely like it, I guarantee it. The food will be ready in just a moment. I’ll be taking my leave for now and I’ll come back with your meals.”

Hyeon-Jin bowed respectfully before leaving you two alone to converse with each other, honestly this time.

As you quickly let go of his hand, Gun jeered in on you for your delivery.

“And that’s how you deliver a proper performance. I’m impressed, you really are good at acting. Did you take any acting lessons?”

He made you laugh, while waving your hand dismissively. “Oh please, you’re such a jackass! I should be the one to ask you that. Luckily, I caught on to your scheme. But now I get what you were talking about. Now, let’s see how the exceptional Gun Park lasts before he burns out in his acting skills.”

He chuckled at your cute taunts before saying, “You’re on.”

Eventually, Hyeon-Jin came with the food in his hands. As he propped the two plates above his shoulders with both of his talented hands, he carefully placed both of your meals in front of you and Gun with elegance then gestures for you to try the food.

“There you are, sir, madam. I hope you’ll enjoy the food!”

“Don’t mind if I do!” You eagerly grabbed your silverware knife and fork before digging into your meal.

Each of you had the foie gras meal. The duck livers that had been sacrificed for your meals cooked to the point of perfection. Making the meat tender, to the point of it falling apart easily with just a poke from a fork, and for it to leave a savory taste as it melts in your mouth. What a delicacy. The foie gras had a special mushroom sauce, which consisted of vinaigrette dressing and finely sliced mushrooms. Its taste had a hint of sweet and sour, but was balanced marvelously as it complimented the texture of the duck liver.

As you cut a piece of the foie gras, you hooked onto it with your fork then slowly popped it into your mouth. As the foie gras hit your taste buds, you felt yourself melting along with it, in pure bliss. You sighed happily, as you said, “Oh my, this dish is so delectable! I can almost feel it melting on my tongue! It was so worth coming here! Right, honey?”

Gun patted his mouth with a cloth napkin after he tried the food as well. “Yes. Give our compliments to the chef for us, Hyeon-Jin.”

Hyeon-Jin sighed in relief, as he saw that the two of you had enjoyed the food then nodded happily. “I will gladly do that for you, sir! Madam!”

While you were happily eating your food, you noticed Gun leaning in closer to you all of a sudden.

“Babe, you got a little something on your face.”

Your eyes looked at him in pure confusion. “Huh? Where?”

And… “Babe”?

Gun grabbed your chin lightly as he slowly brushed his thumb across your bottom lip, all the way up to the right corner of your mouth. As he sat back down, he looked into your eyes while licking the tip of his thumb seductively, which had some sauce from the foie gras, that was previously smeared on your mouth.

When you watched him lick the sauce from his thumb, you sat there completely frozen. Eyes widened. Cheeks flushed. Heart racing. Thoughts were going a hundred miles an hour in your head, wondering if what you just witnessed in front of you was real.

What was that just now?! Did he so happened to just do that naturally, or did he do that on purpose? Wow, I can’t believe this. This man’s ego is truly something. How outrageous! And he managed to get me flustered like this too? How could I like someone so ballsy, such as him?! You’ve got to be kidding me right now. He thinks that he can top all of the other k-drama actors like that, huh? Not even Lee Min Ho can pull that stunt, but he can? Is he an expert at doing that?! No, he can’t be. Whew, unbelievable! Why do I feel hot right now and why is my heart pumping like I’m about to have a heart attack?! This isn’t helping!!!

“Uh… madam, is everything okay?”

“Huh?”

You turned your head towards Hyeon-Jin’s voice, who was still standing there next to your table.

With a quick “Ahem!” from your throat, you nodded at Hyeon-Jin while smiling. “Yes, thank you for your concern Hyeon-Jin. You should go ahead and tend to the other customers right now. We’ll be fine.”

“Oh alright madam, if you say so. Excuse me!”

As a result, he left you two alone in a new type of tension that you’ve never dealt with before.

“Hey. What the hell was that? Some sort of fan service?”

“Fan service? I didn’t know my wife wanted other things. How greedy.”

“What the-” your words were cut off, as you facepalmed yourself while groaning in frustration.

Now the tables have turned. It wasn’t you who has the upper hand now but instead, it was him. And you know damn well that he’s enjoying it.

“What’s wrong babe? You haven’t finished your food yet. If you wanted me to feed you, then you should have been more honest with me.”

Gun cut up a piece of his food then held it out in front of you for you to feed on in shame. At this point, he was clearly mocking you from the last comment you had about his acting skills. Just seeing your flustered expression was already giving him such a huge ego boost, that you had to come up with a way to turn the tide around.

When you raised your head up from your palm, you gave him a cold smirk.

“Oh, you’re good, no doubt about it. But don’t think that this is over yet. You haven’t seen what I’ve got up my sleeve…”

I must be crazy to try and pull this off, but if this is a war to see who breaks first, then I must do everything within my power to win. Even if that includes using my womanly charms! He is a man after all, so he might break with this little stunt. (God, please forgive me for this. I swear, this will only happen once.)

As you leaned in towards him, he thought that you finally accepted your food of shame, until you swiftly smacked the fork with the liver right out of his hand as it landed on the floor a few feet away from him. He looked at you with true confusion, wondering why the hell did you do that.

“Oh, sorry honey. Let me go get that for you.”

Gun’s eyes watched you intently as you got out of your seat then bent over in front of him to grab the fork with the liver still stuck to it, from the ground. His view was suddenly focused on your curvy ass, in which his eyes had trailed down your pencil skirt as it crept a bit up your thighs, giving him a bit of a sneak peek of what was underneath from the slit. As you stood back up again, you flipped your voluminous hair back while holding onto the fork in your hand. When you returned to your seat, you crossed your legs while holding out the fork with the piece of liver, out to him.

“This was yours right, my love? Say ah~”

Hehe, checkmate.

Damn. You’ve never seen such a speechless Gun in your life, and that goes to show that you’ve won this round. If you were to somehow go underneath the table right now, you’d definitely see how rock hard he had gotten from watching you bend over in front of him like that. Gun never knew that you had it in you to do such a thing in the first place, which made him form a mischievous smirk on his face while looking straight into your eyes with dangerous malice. The last words that he had for you during that dinner was, “You better watch your back.”

. . .

After Gun had paid for the food, your walk outside the streets of Seoul towards the car was very silent. As you followed him from behind, you stared at his tall figure while walking. Not a word was said ever since the dinner, and it was starting to worry you. You were carrying a fancy take-out bag that held your complimentary desserts in it, since Gun asked Hyeon-Jin to put it to-go right away.

Is he mad at me? Geez, I must’ve taken it too far. Or is he upset with what I did? Honestly, who wouldn’t. He must think that I’m a shameless woman now. Ugh, I’m so embarrassed. I didn’t think I’d be able to do such a thing in my life. I’ve only seen those types of scenes from badass action movies, where the female lead asserts her dominance. But, I’ve never seen him so quiet before. I hope I didn’t upset him or made him mad in any way.

Suddenly, you heard a voice from afar that ruined your train of thought.

“Hey, is that Gun and (Y/N)?!”

Who…?

Right away, you turned around to see Goo waving at you with a bloodied sword in his hand. However, Goo wasn’t alone. This time, there was a big guy with him who had a serious look on his face. Him and Goo were both dressed in suit and ties, but their outfits were stained with some blood splatters on them.

Is that blood…? What have they been doing all night?

You waved back at him, while walking towards him. Goo whistled as he saw a better view of you from up close.

“Woah, that is you! I almost didn’t recognize you until I saw that you were walking with Gun from that fancy hotel over there. What got you so dolled up, anyways? Did you two…?” Goo’s mouth curved to an impish smirk.

You heard the guy next to him let out a short gasp, as he said to himself while gritting his teeth and clenching his fists in frustration, “I-if that was me and Z-Zoe… then I would’ve been the happiest man in the world right about now! Damn that little Pikachu bastard, stealing my girl!!!”

Goo looked at the guy in irritation saying, “Hey, Logan. How many times did I have to tell you to get over that girl, and just continue to get stronger! At least make me proud here! Tsk.”

Goo turned his attention back to you. “So… did you and Gun hit it off…?”

“Huh? No, no, you got it all wrong! We were just-”

The words wouldn’t come out from your mouth as you paused. You couldn’t tell him that you two were there because you were celebrating your hard work of training. You believed that he isn’t allowed to know of what goes on between you and Gun. Plus, you couldn’t tell him that you two just came out of dinner as a pretend couple either, which would be an even worse scenario to explain.

“Hmmm…?” Goo and his friend were staring at you, waiting for a reply until…

“Didn’t I tell you to fuck off?”

As you turned around towards the sound of Gun’s voice, you saw him walk towards you three. He stood there, lighting a cigarette right in front of the three of you as he blew out smoke that exhaled out of his lungs.

Goo grinned wildly at the sight of seeing Gun again, to tease him once more.

“Gun, we were just talking about you! So what were the two of you doing at a hotel together? Did you two have ‘fun’ ?”

Gun took another puff from his cigarette before saying, “You can think whatever the hell you want, nosy prick. Even if I did explain, it wouldn’t change the fact that you’d still think the way you wanted about the situation.”

“Awww, no fair! I wanted to hear all the juicy deets from you.” Goo fake pouted, while Gun scowled back at him in annoyance.

You sighed in relief at how Gun handled Goo’s questions.

I wouldn’t know how to handle Goo if it weren’t for Gun being here. Thank god.

Unexpectedly, you felt a sudden urge to pee. You thought that it must’ve been the wine since you heard that alcohol does make people pee.

As you turned around to go back towards the hotel to use the restroom, you called out to Gun first before heading back the direction where you just came from.

“Gun, I need to go back to use the restroom real quick! I’ll be right back!”

Gun nodded, but before he let you go, he told you to hand over the bag full of desserts in it. You obliged, as you quickly handed it to him, for him to hold it in your place.

From far away, he made sure that you made it into the building safely by watching you. The sway of your hips moving while walking in those heels and those long legs of yours mesmerized him to the point that Goo definitely caught him checking you out from behind.

“Gun, you naughty boy! I caught you staring at (Y/N)‘s ass just now!”

“Tch. Can you shut the fuck already? You always say the most craziest shit out loud, that it makes me want to beat you senseless just for you to actually shut up.”

Out of nowhere, Logan towered in front of Gun, as if he were to protect his own master from him. Goo suddenly patted him on the back saying, “Hey, hey, it’s alright Logan. Gun here wouldn’t do that right now. He’s waiting for (Y/N) after all and like she said, she’ll come back real quick.”

Logan grunted as he returned back to his original position. Gun continued to let out his aggravation through that single cigarette in his hand.

“You know Gun, you should just make her yours already. Because if you don’t do it soon, she might be out of reach by the time you decide on pursuing her. You’ll soon regret it, and then you’ll end up all alone, without anyone being there for you.”

“You know, for a bastard like you, you really ARE a nosy prick. Why the hell do you keep pushing me to go after her?”

“Because you’ll hit rock bottom earlier than when you’re supposed to. Once you hit rock bottom, it should be by me and not by her. Remember, we’re rivals and we’ve got our own shit to deal with. So now, who’s the ACTUAL bastard here?” Goo said in a smug tone.

Logan let out a quiet, “Daaamn…” under his breath as Gun let out his last puff of smoke from his cigarette before throwing it to the ground and smashing it underneath his shoe. Eventually, you came out of the hotel after your long pee break and once you returned, you felt that you missed something important. You couldn’t help but think that something went down while you were away on the toilet, since you felt the serious tension among them. As Gun started to walk back towards the car continuing onwards in silence, you said your goodbyes to Goo and that other kid whose name that you caught was Logan.

Goo yelled out during his goodbyes, saying, “Until we meet again, (Y/N)! And next time will surely be much more interesting!”

You didn’t quite understood what he meant by that last part, but you were just exhausted at that point from everything that has happened.

When you finally got in the car, Gun finally pulled the car in reverse then started to drive without saying a word once again.

The silence was deafening, that even you could tell that it was pretty awkward to just sit there without saying anything. You couldn’t take it anymore with the silent treatment, as you suddenly decided to turn on the radio for some music.

However, when you turned on the radio, Doja Cat’s song called Streets was introduced in the radio as it just started playing right from the beginning. And as you listened to the song, it only just made the tension between you two to worsen. Your heart began to race and your hands began to sweat uneasily as your hands held onto your seatbelt. Just listening to the lyrics didn’t help the situation at all. From the side of your eye, you glanced at Gun to find him just concentrating on the road without saying anything. Weirdly, he didn’t seem too bothered by it. Eventually, you decided to finally turn off the radio right after the song finished playing and just sit there in uncomfortable silence throughout the way home.

. . .

Finally, you made it home. As Gun parked the Rolls Royce right in front of the house, the both of you got out of the car.

While you got the rest of your stuff from the trunk of his car, he eventually locked it with an advanced-looking car key, which resembles a remote.

It felt like an eternity just to get inside, due to the painful and awkward silence. While walking up the steps and following him from behind, you decided to just apologize to him right there and now.

God, I can’t take this anymore. I’ll just apologize to him and I hope he’ll forgive me and he’ll be alright afterwards.

When Gun finally stood in front of the door, he was in the process of inputting the passcode to the door. At once, you blurted out your apology to him.

“Gun, I’m sorry for what I did! I know that it was wrong to act so indecent while I was out with you. I got carried away, and was blinded by my need to win that little ‘game’ of ours. I’m sorry for being so immature. I’m truly ashamed of my actions, and […]”

When Gun managed to unlock the door, you followed him inside while still apologizing to him. You were going on and on about how sorry you were, and how shameful you acted during the dinner. During that time, you were setting down the bag of desserts on a table near the staircase, including your bag of old clothes for a second. You were getting hand cramps just holding onto the bags.

“[…] you know, I was just playing around, right? But it’s ok, you can call me shameful if you want to! You could even call me disgusting, and impudent, for how I was acting. I deserved it anyway, so I’m so-”

“Didn’t I tell you to watch your back?”

“Huh?”

You turned around to see Gun standing right in front of you, with his glasses already off of his face. However, you could’ve sworn that he was just near the door. He was closing in on you, as he made you back up onto the wall, right in front of the staircase. He blocked both of your sides by planting his hands onto the wall, trapping you while your back was now against the wall. His eyes was looking down onto yours, while his face was leaning in closer to you. While doing so, you could smell the scent of cigarettes from his warm breath.

“W-wait… Gun, what are you-”

“Shut up.”

Gun suddenly cupped your face and tilted your head upwards before he forcefully pressed his lips onto yours. His body was pressed against yours as you felt his pelvis grind against you. While he was leaning in closer to you more and more, you realized that this was technically your first kiss with a man. And you couldn’t imagine that the man who stole your first kiss, was no other than Gun Park.

The kiss that you two were sharing was tender for only a second, until he started to change the pace of the kiss into a more aggressive make-out session. The feeling of his lips became harsher, as his tongue entered your mouth while it played with yours, giving you the most heated French-kiss of your life. His tongue tasted of nicotine, while yours tasted like rich wine. His touch got rougher, as he started feeling up every inch of your body. You felt his right hand pull onto your top due to how it was previously tucked in, before it crept up from underneath your blouse, all the way to your soft breasts. His hand then started playing with your breasts, fondling one in his hand then grazed your nipple in circular motions with his thumb, making it peak. His left hand, however, sneaked its way up your pencil skirt, in between your legs. He then shoved his hand into your panties, feeling how wet you’ve gotten from his touch just by rubbing his fingers onto the entrance of your heat.

Embarrassed, both of your hands smacked his chest, desperately trying to push him away from you as much as possible. “Gun, stop- Ahh~”

What is this feeling? Why does it feel… good? Am I actually enjoying this? Have I gone insane?!

Your hands tried pushing him away but you felt your strength getting weaker, as this new feeling in your body had taken over, making your mind go blank. Weird noises began to emit from your mouth uncontrollably. While Gun was simultaneously pleasing you in multiple ways, his eyes adjusted to your face, seeing your pleasured reactions from the way he was touching you.

His lips pulled away from yours while still teasing your sensitive parts. “‘Stop’? That’s very hypocritical of you to say that. See? You’re already wet down here. And plus, didn’t you want this to happen? You were clearly begging for your ‘husband’ to do such things to you back at that restaurant. Who knew that my ‘wife’ would be so naughty…”

For some reason, your body was reacting on its own to his touch, that you can no longer control yourself. You felt your body heating up and your core aching with need. When his mouth pressed against yours for another time, his digits underneath your underwear started to pierce through your vaginal lips, barely pumping your insides. Just by feeling the inside of your heat, Gun can tell that you’re a virgin just from how tight you felt as his digits was already enveloped by your walls, barely entering into your depths. With that, he believed that he should be careful. Yet, his patience is already waning thin.

A new look in his eyes met yours. A look of deep insatiable lust. The words, “I think I’m going insane. I don’t think I can control myself any longer.” escaped through his gritted teeth as he didn’t hesitate to crash his lips onto yours once more.

Urgently, he grabbed onto every piece of clothing you had on just to tear them right off of you. Including, your new top and skirt with your bra and underwear.

What the hell, what’s gotten into him all of a sudden?!

You pulled your lips away in surprise, as you scolded him in alarm, “Hey, those were expensive AND brand new! Why did you have to do that?!”

“Tch. They’re just clothes! I’ll get you better ones later…”

“But-”

Gun silenced you with his mouth, as he suddenly hoisted your naked body up in his arms. His hands glided against your soft legs, forcing you to wrap them around his waist as he wrapped one of his strong arms around your waist. He started making his way up the stairs with your naked body pressed against his clothed self. His right hand was on the railing for guidance, and your arms were wrapped around his neck for support.

The two of you still had your lips on each other, even while Gun was carrying you towards his room. You found it impressive that he could multi-task like that. Soon, your need for him became desperate as you were starting to match his energy with yours, by running your fingers from the nape of his neck to his hair while you were sucking on his tongue. Gun didn’t like it when his hair was messed up by someone, especially during a fight. However, when it comes to you, he’ll make an exception. When the both of you got to the top of the stairs, both of his hands grabbed onto your cute ass tightly, as he rushed you straight to his room.

When he opened the door, he immediately slammed it right behind him then pushed you onto the bed, making you land on your back with a soft thud on the mattress.

You haven’t realized yet that this was actually the first time that you’ve ever been to his room, but that doesn’t matter to you right now. What matters is that he wants you and you want him in return. You stared up at his eyes full of longing. In exchange, he looked down at your eyes with incredible desire. Gun didn’t think that in any point in time, he’d ever get you on his bed like this. Short flashbacks of those times that he’d been with you started to appear in his head, reminiscing the times of when you smiled at him, when you’ve fiercely fought with him during training, and when you would constantly annoy him from time to time. But that strength of yours, was what captivated him and had him obsessed with you. It was like love at first sight. Even Goo’s words from tonight had been annoying him nonstop ever since he told Gun to make his move on you. But now, at this very moment, he got you in his grasp and he finally decided to act upon how he thought of you. Even when he always got the impression from you that you only saw him for the strict jerk that he was, it was time to show you how he felt about you. On the other hand, you’ve changed your views on him. You admitted that you thought that he was an ass at first, but when you got to know him, you couldn’t help but want to stay by his side. For the first time, you admitted to yourself that you wanted to be with someone, other than your own mother. This isn’t just lustful thinking or a phase that appeared at the moment. These are actual feelings that you’ve just come to realize now and you wouldn’t mind if the man standing in front of you, would touch you. It was time for you to show him what you really meant to him.

“I’ve always wanted to do this with you.” He said, as he confessed to you unexpectedly. At that moment, you could tell that he wanted you so badly that nothing is going to stop him now.

Silently, you watched him take off every piece of clothing that he had on his entire body and just by observing, he immediately got you flustered. Quickly, he started to unbuckle his belt, removing his pants and throwing them across the room. His suit came right off, then his white long-sleeved shirt as he unbuttoned it without even stopping to fumble through any of the buttons with such skill, revealing his muscular body and his solid abs which made you blush a tint of pink. You even caught his toned and tattooed arms flex as he threw his shirt across the room. If you were already blushing, then you probably won’t be prepared for what’s about to come next. Lastly, it was the moment you’ve been anticipating for. Your legs were quivering in anxiousness as you felt your core beating in between your legs, knowing that he’ll join with you soon. As he removed his black Louis Vuitton briefs, you saw his erected member sprung out from underneath them. You gasped, since you’ve never seen a guy’s penis so up close in your life. Sure, you’ve seen those stick-figure-like penis drawings on the desks at school sometimes, or those naked statues from Renaissance artwork, but this? This was much more detailed. This was the REAL DEAL. You couldn’t help but stare at his huge veiny member. His girth and his length somewhat intimidated you, which made you wonder how he’d fit inside of you.

Once all of his clothes ended up across the room, he immediately towered on top of you on the bed, trapping you in between his strong muscular arms once again. Underneath Gun, was your beautiful naked self. He gets to see every exposed feature on your body. Every scar, every mark, and every spot that he’ll stimulate just to make you go crazy.

His eyes pierced yours directly with a hint of desire in them as he said, “Are you ready, (Y/N)? I’ll make you even more worthy to become my woman than any other woman could. I’ll make sure that you’ll become mine.”

At this point, you couldn’t take it anymore either. In your head, you finally became obsessed with this man that you finally surrendered to his touch.

As you wrapped your arms around his neck, you pulled him closer to you saying, “Then, show me how I can be worthy of you.” initiating the start to a neverending night of passion.

[End of Ch. IV]

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exquisiteserotonin · 7 months

Text

Footsteps to Follow: Part 4

The Dangers of Fate

Series Summary: The loss of a loved one lasts forever and every person finds different ways to heal.

Pairing: Alice York x Foodtruck owner! Joel Miller

Warnings: MATURE. Descriptions of violence and intent to commit violence. TW due to some talk of human trafficking and rape (nothing described, just implications of a bad guy involved in organized crime might be doing). Hints of romance and fluff. ANGST. If you are UNDER 18, please DNI. MDNI!!! AU, Foodtruck Owner Joel! No outbreak.

Word Count: ~3.5K

A/N: I'm glad that my writer's block more or less fixed itself for the time being. I hope that you enjoy this chapter. I think we are finally getting somewhere. Things are starting to move! 💜💜💜

To my magical sluts: Thank you for helping through my neurotic feelings if inadequecy regarding my writing @imalrightllama @magpiepillsjunior @youandmeand5bucks @pink-whiskey-woman @redhotkitchen @legendary-pink-dot @sparklefarts38 @arcanefox207

Taglist, thank you so much for reading my work: @drewharrisonwriter, @casa-boiardi @nerdieforpedro @secretelephanttattoo

Alice sat with her legs tightly crossed one over the other on a quaint, earthy green bench situated in the middle of a garden. The aroma of the coffee in her hand paired with the ocean breeze wafting through the arched breezeway sent an invigorating energy through her body. Another country, another job. She took a sip of her coffee, surrendering to the warmth it spread from her lips to her chest, and stomach. The vibrant color and smoky sweet scent of lavender plants filling the air were beguiling to the senses. There wasn’t anything quite like it at home.

They were countless, the times she wished her next destination would be to a place of her choosing, at a time she found convenient, during a time she desired. But for the first time, she longed for the feeling of returning home. With another deep breath of her coffee, it was like she was back again, sharing one with a middle-aged man from Texas with patchy facial hair, a man more handsome than he had any right to be.

***

“I’m sorry our first date had to be over shitty hospital coffee,” Joel had apologized.

“Is that what this is?” she asked, treading carefully along the bridge between disinterest and full-on crush.

Joel’s hands wiggled as he raised his brows towards her and twitched his mouth at the quip. The way faint lines on his forehead revealed themselves and the line that appeared on his bottom lip as he puckered them in thought sent a light flutter inside Alice’s stomach. She squeezed her eyes tightly, blowing out a nervous breath.

“I’m so sorry,” she said, scrunching her face in consternation, “I’m so not good at this.”

“Now, I don’t know ‘bout that,” Joel responded, as he stretched out his feet under the table, the toe of his boots just inches from her sneakers, “I think you’re doin’ alright.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“I’ve got a few years on ya, Alice,” Joel replied in a self-deprecating tone. “So, tell me, how’d ya fall into nursin’?”

The answer was easy, but the guilt that accompanied it was equally apparent.

“Helping people, trying to anyway, seemed like,” she paused for a moment to think, “the appropriate choice. I kind of rebelled, pretty terribly as I got older and probably hurt a lot of people in the process.”

“Well, I’m not ‘bout to judge people by their past,” Joel shared.

“Human nature, huh?” Alice commented. “We’re all a little bit broken.”

“Like an egg,” Joel countered, his posture straightening and his eyes lighting up.

“What?” Alice laughed, curious about his unique comparison.

“You know, like an egg can break, but what’s inside is usually helluva lot better,” Joel explained, “like you can eat it, could be a baby chicken, too.”

So many people might have ridiculed him for the simplicity of his comparison. Ever observant, Alice took in the moment, took in the words, keeping the charm and wisdom that were present underneath the rugged exterior.

“That’s pretty wise, Tex,” Alice praised, tipping her cup of coffee to him in salute.

Joel took a sip of his simple, black coffee and pushed against the table with a long, nervous sigh, “Truth is, Alice, I ain’t really good at this either.”

He waved his hand in the space between them.

“I don’t know about that,” Alice hummed, “you seem to be doing OK to me.”

***

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” she heard a voice muse, bringing her back to the garden.

Alice looked up, shifting her eyes towards her handler. She closed them with a silent nod of her head.

“Romantic even,” Firefly murmured, out at the impossibly, vibrant blue water of the Dubrovnik coastline.

Is she talking about my father?

It was an exercise in conflicting emotions to watch her handler’s face change, each line filled with a story, each gaze and each sigh held a memory which Alice knew nothing about. Some days she wanted to ask her what those memories were, searching for any strings that could tie her even closer to her father. Other days, she was simply scared to ask for fear of the emotions it would stir in them both.

How did you know he was in love with you?

Did he talk about me? No. Don’t answer that question.

Did he treat you better than he treated my mother?

Why didn’t you save him?

Standing up, Alice followed Firefly through the archway leading up to the quiet, nondescript apartment she had secured for their stay just on the outskirts of Dubrovnik. The walls of the apartment were made of stone that varied in shape and size. Each one climbed up to the top of the building revealing beauty, age, and distinction in their grooves and crevices. The owner at the front desk barely acknowledged them with a smile on her aged face. She stared out the arched window, closing her eyes to the breeze, occasionally waving to locals she knew.

In a single file, Alice followed her handler up the narrow, steep stairway to their room. It was cozy, clean, and simple. A couch with a pullout bed greeted them, a small coffee table placed before it was a perfect space for working. Past the living space was a narrow but open archway leading to the bedroom. Alice explored the small space as her handler immediately took her laptop from her briefcase. The change back to cutthroat professionalism was jarring. She opened her laptop, her fingertips clacking at the keys as she ensured that she had an encryption to protect their location, their identity, and everything else in between. It was no wonder her dad had fallen in love with her, she was just like him.

Alice sat next to her, as she began to bring up all her files on their target: Vojislav Đorđević. The dossier Firefly had compiled on him was extensive and at first glance, overwhelming. She and Alice combed through information: wanted in the Netherlands, Germany, and France for human trafficking of women, children, and migrants, firearms trafficking, and participation in a criminal organization.

A trembling feeling began to percolate in Alice’s stomach as she continued to read about the man’s atrocities. It was as though someone had stuck their hand down her throat and was churning her intestines. Kidnapping, torture, rape, and murder. Just seeing the written on the same line, in the same sentence as children sent a scorching rage igniting inside her. She felt her shoulders and chest beginning to tighten as she fought to keep herself from seething. Before she even realized it, an enraged tremble began to quiver beneath her skin. It grew with each file she read and each photo that she had to go through.

She drew a deep breath and stood up, turning away from the computer, placing her hands on her hips. Pacing around seemed to be the only way she could tear her eyes away from just one photo she saw, one photo that was enough to strengthen her resolve to kill him in the most terrible way imaginable. A shot to the head would be too merciful. Perhaps a knife to both eyes before cutting off his dick.

“Alice…Alice?” she knew it was her handler, but her voice seemed simultaneously close and far away. “Alice, you ok?”

After a few blinks, she refocused herself and turned back to Firefly.

“Sorry…,” Alice replied, her brow furrowed still, “I’m fine…I’ll be fine.”

Firefly turned away from her laptop and closed it, “I know I’ve told you this before, but I need you on your A-game, there can’t be any distractions.”

“I’ve heard this all before, I know if I get distracted, I get killed,” Alice said, her voice spent with exasperation.

“Personal feelings about this aren't going to make you execute the job any better,” Firefly declared, her face firm and authoritative. “I need your head clear.”

Alice turned back to her handler, the tightness in her shoulders beginning to settle as she unclenched her hands that she had formed into a fist. She returned to her chair, her posture straight and attentive. Leaning forward, she pressed her forearms against the table.

“You’re right. I’m ready,” Alice conceded. “Tell me the plan again.”

***

Alice awoke the next morning, rested and ready. She left the apartment in the early afternoon living, breathing, and becoming one with the town. The breeze off the ocean danced through her hair as she walked through nearly every quiet side street of the seaside city. Alice checked her watch, the time ticking down to the job. She stopped outside a busy cafe ordering a coffee from the counter. The humming chatter of tourists filled the air as they sat down for a snack and a respite from their day of exploring.

Once she finished her coffee, she went inside to the bathroom, opening her bag which held her uniform: a boxy and plain blue shirt and black pants. She examined herself in the mirror straightening the creases on the shirt and pants of her housekeeping disguise.

The warmth of the setting sun was slinking away as Alice strolled through the side streets approaching the luxurious hotel where Đorđević was holing in for the evening. She crept past a few hotel staffers arguing amongst one another on their smoking break. Other hotel staff walked in and out a side door that was easily accessible to the public, but also easy enough to slink through amidst the rocky hillsides and floral strewn hills that provided a natural landscaping that would be easy for her to navigate.

I’m in.

Alice texted Firefly quickly.

Blending in easily with the cleaning staff, she gained access to their supply room, surreptitiously grabbing a keycard that one absent-minded young individual let fall to the floor from his hand She pushed the giant cart of cleaning supplies in front of her, glancing at her reflection in one of the spotlessly clean mirrors. Not a spot of makeup. Hair pulled back into a tight low bun. Completely plain. Completely unnoticeable.

As Alice inched closer and closer to the top floor where the Presidential suite and Đorđević rested, Firefly kept a lookout and waited for the job to be done so they could return home. Her eyes scanned the glimmering, midnight blue water as tourists and locals strolled along, breathing in the night air. A tightness grasped her like a fist punching through her chest. Her eyes narrowed on a figure familiar to her, age lines littering his face, and his once golden blonde hair was nearly white in his old age. He held his head up with an air of privilege and entitlement she thought she would never have to see again. The stench of his ego threatened to hitch a ride on the wind. His shoulders were pulled back in an arrogant posture, a posture she could never forget. It was the same arrogant, self-assured posture his son once shared with him before he was killed.

Alice looked down at her phone, seeing a text message light up the screen.

Mission compromised. Abort now.

Seriously? Alice thought. This can’t be happening.

Can still finish job.

She typed her words quickly as she walked through the halls of a floor a few levels below the top floor.

Negative. Hold position.

Alice paced back and forth stepping away from the cleaning cart. The cold, carbon steel pressed securely to her leg with her ankle strap.

I’d just need one moment. He’d be dead faster than a lightning strike.

The fast whirring of the staff elevator raced to Alice’s ears. Like a startled cat, she acquired her knife and held still behind the large cart. The steel took on the warmth of the anticipatory heat that flowed through her palm and her fingers. She stood ready to eliminate whoever was about to come through the elevator to thwart her. Her slow and silent breaths quieted the fast and loud thumping of her heart. The thin, mechanical hiss of the opening doors set off a countdown in her brain. Slow footsteps echoed through the quiet hallway.

“Excuse me, I seem to be lost; could you show me where the indoor pool is?” a sing-song voice called out.

Firefly stood before her, a stern look washed over her face while Alice rolled her eyes, twirling her knife behind her wrist.

“What are you doing here?” she breathed through her teeth.

“I told you we were compromised.”

Hooking her arm with Alice’s they walked briskly towards the stairs. Alice was huffing with the speed at which she followed her handler. The chill of anxiety began to creep into her bloodstream the closer they got to the ground floor. In the stairwell, Firefly took a quick scan of her phone tapping into different cameras in the building. All clear. Their sprint had ended when Firefly walked ahead, grabbing the handle of the door to the lobby.

“Meet me at the Tisak booth after you’ve changed.”

Alice rushed to the bathroom, her heart beating faster with the lack of knowledge her handler was refusing to provide.

This is the kind of shit that’s going to get me killed.

She slipped into a soft, black linen dress and applied a swipe of red lip gloss across her lips and a quick coat of mascara on each set of eyelashes. With her hair down, she looked like a different person. As she glided past the front desk, she noted everything around her, nothing seemingly out of place until spied a tall, older man with bright, silvery blonde hair, his shoulders pushed back beneath the sleek pressed fabric of his polo shirt.

“Oh yes, thank you sir.” Alice overheard the polite and discreet voice of the front desk agent. “Someone will be down to accompany you to his room.”

Alice shook off the urge to follow the man, certain he was being accompanied to the Presidential suite. She stored the image of him in her brain, filing it away, certain she’d have to return to it later.

Is this old man really the one she’s worried about?

Distractions will get you killed.

I could have gotten killed.

She walked with long strides, her small traveler bag on her shoulder. Her personal artillery shifted inside, and she slowed her steps, cognizant of any attention that she might inadvertently bring to herself. The adrenaline rushed to her ears as she saw her handler’s car. She entered through the passenger’s side, pulling the door closed with a loud slam.

“What the fuck was that?” Alice demanded.

“I told you we were compromised, and I made the call to drop the job,” Firefly responded quickly and firmly.

“No, no, I fucking put my life on the line out there and that’s the bullshit reason you give me?”

“It’s not your concern anymore,” she added, looking in her car’s rear view mirror as she left the city walls of the old town heading towards the airport. “I will take this one moving forward.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Alice groaned, rubbing her eyes and forehead in frustration. “What? Is this some kind of fallout from an old job you and my dad had? Couldn’t keep your legs closed, so karma’s knocking at your door?”

Firefly swerved the car with a sharp turn of the steering wheel, stopping at the side of the road. Faster than Alice could open her mouth to speak, her handler slapped her in the face. Tears sprung from the corner of her eyes as she brought her hand to her face, which was left red and stinging.

“I just saved your fucking life. Trust me, if you needed to know about this, I’d have already told you.” Firefly said as her eyes, darkened by the nighttime sky, held back tears. “We’re done.”

The quiet of the deep night took over the road, the rush of the world zoomed past the car while the silent, stifling air that filled the vehicle threatened the life of any noise that tried to pierce it. Alice tried to calm her seething anger, looking out the window at the stars in the sky only moving her eyes towards her handler in quick glances. The silent noise continued until they arrived at the airport.

***

“Here are your tickets,” Firefly said, her face laden with lines of distant confusion as they walked through the sliding glass doors of the airport terminal. “Take some time for yourself. If something comes up, I’ll notify you.”

“Please…,” Alice urged, letting out a sigh of frustration, “why won’t tell me what’s going on?”

“Alice, I could have gotten you killed,” her voice cracked with the words, “I’d never---I’d never forgive myself if something happened to you.”

A dull ache crept across Alice’s neck as she observed another moment of sentimentality escape from her handler. Anger, disappointment, and frustration. She felt all of these things and yet through it all, there was never a question regarding trust. Not in Alice’s mind. She’d always been able to trust Firefly.

“Why don’t you trust me?” Alice questioned.

“I could ask you the same thing,” she replied, this time her eyes demanding Alice’s attention and gaze. “I promise you that once I have all the intel, once I have it all clear, I’ll find you again.”

Alice stood dumbfounded as Firefly turned away, disappearing into a crowd of travelers. An unwelcome and familiar feeling of dread veiled itself over her. She dug her hands deep into her pockets, squeezing her keychain as she turned on her heels to join the sprinkling of travelers. Her footsteps heavy with the unwanted memory of a broken promise.

***

Bright sunlight greeted Alice as she disembarked the plane that had touched down on the tarmac. She stretched her arms over her head as she walked through the terminal.

“Shit,” she swore under her breath as she recalled that she didn’t plan for a ride home.

Signs littered the airport advertising taxis and ride shares. Exhaustion and confusion had already set themselves within Alice and the desire to curl up in the warm covers of her bed was strengthening its resolve. As though in a trance, she opened up her phone contacts, swiping through the names of co-workers and lingering longer than she wanted to admit on her sister’s name before her thumb settled over a name she knew she shouldn’t call.

Stop being ridiculous, Al. She heard her inner voice groan.

As though her thumb had a mind of its own, she discovered that she had already dialed the phone number for Joel Miller.

“Shit, shit, shit…” Alice whispered as she began to walk with hint of panic in each step.

“Hello?” The sound of his rugged drawl came clear over the phone.

“Um, hey, Joel, it’s Alice,” she greeted, her fingers trembling along with her voice, “I’m sorry to call all of a sudden like this.”

“Hey come on now,” Joel assured, “it ain’t no trouble. You OK?”

“Um yeah…,” she lied through shaky breaths, “I just got home from a trip and realized as I landed, I didn’t make the right pick up plans and I---,”

“Need me to come pick you up from the airport?” Joel offered, the tone of his voice rising eagerly. “Where should I meet you?”

“Yeah, if you could? I’m in Terminal A, if you can do it.” Alice asked with a slight tone of embarrassment. “If it’s not too much trouble.”

“Already said I would,” he replied with a low chuckle.

“Thanks, Tex.”

Alice restlessly shook her knee as she sat on a bench just outside Terminal A. The nerves of waiting for Joel and the anxiety built up from the last 24 hours combined to create a particularly biting panic attack. She watched as car after car passed, until a metallic green pickup truck slowed in the passenger pick up lane. The way he practically leapt out of the truck to grab her suitcase was enough to set her spirit soaring.

It should be a crime to look as good as he does in an old t-shirt and jeans. She thought to herself.

She followed him as he placed it in the back passenger seat. He turned to face her; his smile was like a bright beacon that guided her through the fog of her panic.

“Welcome home, Alice.”

“Joel,” she greeted, her voice shaking as she stepped towards him.

“Hm?” He smiled, showing off his ridiculously attractive dimples.

With one bold move she pulled him close towards her, tugging at his shirt before her eyes lingered on the calming glimmer of his deep brown eyes until they followed a natural line to the pout beneath his mustache. And with one soft caress of her lithe fingers from his forehead to his chin, she kissed him.

#juice collective #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal fandom #equalizer 2 #dave york #dave york apologist #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller x original character #joel miller x female character #joel miller x alice york #angst #fluff #romance #hurt #alice york's wonderland

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ellethespaceunicorn · 1 year

Text

Bright Like The Moon: Chapter 4

Chapter 4: We Showed The World That We Exist

Rating: Explicit, 18+, Minors - DNI

Fandom: Night Hunter

Pairing: Walter Marshall x Black!OFC

Word count: 5.1K

Summary: Kamaria Mansfield is hired at the Minnesota Police Department as an intern. Detective Walter Marshall is overworked and unsatisfied. Takes place post-film.

Chapter Summary: Kamaria and Walter play hooky to deal with unforeseen stressors.

Chapter warnings: panic attack (dissociation episode), oral sex (f receiving), finger fucking, therapy session, squirting

A/N: Time jumps in this chapter. We’re only skipping a couple of days but it may be a little jarring. But Yada is back!! Un-beta’d, we die like people who tried their best.

Dividers: @firefly-graphics

Support/Reblog banner by me

Cover Art by me

Cross-posted on AO3

Series Masterlist

My Masterlist

Kamaria’s POV

Word has spread like wildfire around the office about me and Walter dating. It didn’t take long at all for news that the grumpy bear of a detective and the new intern are fucking. We actually aren’t even doing that, yet. It’s only been a few days but the rumor mill in the police station is like a damn high school hallway. And I have Nina and Sophie to thank for that.

I swear, no one listens to interns. Like, ever. Unless it is about gossip. And I made friends with the loudest, and the actual kindest, gossipmongers. I know they mean well, they’ve made it clear they are glad that Walter smiles more. I like being the cause of his change of mood, as well.

With everyone aware of our relationship, things are kind of weird. Like, weird around the ex, kind of weird.

It’s not like Rachel and Walter were super friendly after they decided not to date. Sometimes, and I would never tell Walter this, I feel like he felt for Rachel because she saved his life. A case of transference, perhaps?

But, they at least seemed cordial towards each other. Rachel felt enough of a connection to reach for his hand, the thought still burns in my mind. But Walter and I did have our first kiss after that, so grain of salt, ya know?

Rachel just seems like someone pissed in her oatmeal every time she walks by me. She couldn’t possibly be jealous of me. I don’t get her, honestly. Is it an “if she can’t have him, no one can” thing? Because I wouldn’t have thought she would go for pettiness. Never underestimate a woman on a mission, though.

Walter and I agree to get to work a bit early so we could hang out in his office until I have to start work. The man may be seen as prickly by most people in the office, but it is like night and day when it comes to me. He can be so thoughtful, and so in tune with my emotions that it can be like he’s reading my mind. Which is both cute and slightly annoying, because I can never hide what I’m feeling.

Like this morning, for example. My mind has been racing. So many things to think about, from my work to Walter to Rachel to my anxiety about dating openly in the office to what I’m going to choose to talk about in therapy today. And I can’t seem to make it stop or slow down. Which is when I feel a hand on mine.

I look up to see Walter crouching next to the chair I’m sitting in. I don’t remember sitting down. I barely remember walking into this office.

“There she is,” he says, brushing a hand over my confused brow, “you had me so worried back there.” I notice the fear in his eyes now.

“Sometimes, my anxiety takes over and I just check out,” I mutter, looking around the office, “I remember getting out of my car and kissing you and then nothing until just now.”

“Does this happen a lot?” I hear the tremble in his voice but I don’t mention it.

“Hasn’t happened in months. I can usually sense it before other people can, though. Sort of like a panic attack, but not really because I don’t panic, I just…move? It’s hard to explain,” I ramble on, trying to get my bearings.

“It sounds like your brain is working on autopilot due to stress. I’m no therapist, but I’ve seen how stress can affect people in different ways,” he suggests, holding my hand in his, “I hope I’m not overstepping here, but a new relationship becoming public can be quite stressful. Especially when it’s in a work setting where one person’s ex is also a coworker. It’s no wonder you’re feeling like this.”

“Well, when you put it like that, I can’t deny that it is a lot,” I concede, feeling all sorts of vulnerable.

“You have therapy today around 1, right?” he asks before I nod to confirm, “And where is your therapist’s office?”

“Well, I was going to do it virtually today. But she’s close-ish. Between here and my apartment,” I answer, wondering where this is going.

“I have a suggestion, which you are more than welcome to decline. But, in my head, it sounds like a good id-”

“Baby, you’re babbling,” I laugh, stopping his rant.

“I think you should ask to see your therapist in person. We can take the rest of the day off and I could drive you to the appointment if you’d like,” he urges, “Besides, it’s the weekend. They won’t mind if we skip out a bit early.”

“Skip out early? I didn’t even clock in yet,” I remind him, still thinking about work instead of my mental health. Very typical of me.

“Perfect, then. I still have personal time to use, and you told me you were given some personal time when you signed on, so that covers today. We’ll let your manager know you’re not feeling well on the way out,” he says, moving about his office and collecting his things before realizing I’m yet unmoving, “Fuck! Did I just plan your entire day?”

I smile up at him, adoration in my eyes. “You did, but with the best of intentions,” I comment, standing up from the chair, “You’re right, though. I kinda need the routine of going into the office today and I could use a day off even if it’s only my first week.”

“Look at you, already smiling. I count that as a win,” he hums, reaching for my hand, squeezing as our fingers interlace.

We head out of the station after a short talk with my boss. Tell a man you’re having ‘feminine trouble’ and he all but shoos you out of the building. Thank God for small favors.

Walter heads home after insisting I go home to change clothes and grab whatever I needed to feel comfortable for the rest of the day at his place. Arriving home, I immediately start to pack my overnight bag. I choose to ignore the nagging voice questioning my actions. I might want to stay over or change clothes again for some reason. So, take that, Nag-atha Christie!

I call my therapist’s office and request to come into the office today. I say that my schedule has changed and I would prefer to be seen in the office. The receptionist is super sweet and lets me know she will inform Yada of the change. I hope Yada doesn’t worry. I mean, I’m slightly worried about my little episode earlier but I feel at least a bit better now.

I change into some yoga pants, a loose-fitting top, a hoodie, and some comfy old sneakers. I spot Beary Allen sitting atop my bed and resign to bringing him over to Walter’s house as well. I usually can’t sleep without him so I don’t chastise myself too much for bringing along something for comfort.

I check my overnight bag to make sure I have everything I need, and some stuff I don’t need but I want to have just in case. And if I reach into my nightstand and grab condoms, then that is my business until it is Walter and I’s business. Not that I plan on doing anything, but I like being prepared for multiple eventualities. In any case, I refuse to let myself feel anything but poised for success. I also refuse to define success, so there’s the end of that.

I hear Walter’s text tone going off in my pocket and pull out my phone.

Walter Marshall: Didn’t change your mind did you, Princess?

Me: Of course not!

Me: I was just making sure I have everything

Me: Including Beary Allen

Me: 😁

Walter Marshall: The…Flash? But like, a bear?

Me: I love that you get exactly what I meant

Me: And you haven’t even met Beary

Walter Marshall: I was right???

Me: You’ll meet him soon

Me: He’s my emotional support animal

Me: I’m leaving now to come to you

You have shared your location.

Me: Now, you can tell where I am at all times

Me: Just as a safety thing

Walter Marshall: Wow ok

Walter Marshall: Thank you for trusting me with this

Me: You’re welcome

Me: Try to act like you didn’t follow my location the entire time I was on my way to your place 😉

Walter Marshall: No promises

I’m already back in my car by the time his text comes through, I know he’s gonna follow me the whole way to his house. It’s honestly adorable. I can tell he misses me when I’m not around. He likes me, and I like him too. It doesn’t take me long to get to his house and he’s standing outside when I park in the driveway.

“You failed to play it cool, Detective,” I laugh, grabbing my overnight bag and Beary from the passenger seat before exiting my car.

“I never promised to play it cool,” he smiles, reaching out to take my overnight bag from me, “Hmm, planning on staying a bit?”

“I figured it would be best to be prepared,” I propose, clutching onto Beary, secretly glad that Walter didn’t offer to take him as well. No one has ever touched Beary besides me.

“May I address Mr. Allen directly? Or does he only speak with you?” he poses the question completely seriously.

It takes every ounce of my resolve not to melt. “You may address him directly.”

“Mr. Allen, may I call you Beary?” he waits for a response, “I just want you to know I plan on taking care of Kam during her stay here, however long that may be…Yes, of course…I wouldn’t dream of it. So we have an understanding. Shake on it?” He reaches out and shakes Beary’s tiny paw, winking at me as he pulls his hand back. If he’s not careful, I will fall so fucking hard for this man.

Walter takes my hand, kisses it gently, and brings me inside. I start to lean down to remove my shoes, but he stops me and kneels to do it himself.

“You don’t have to-” I start, before being cut off.

“I know I don’t have to, Princess,” he agrees, placing my shoes next to his, “but I want to take care of you today, so allow me to do so, please?”

I open my mouth to protest, but a stern look from Walter makes me rethink that choice and only nod.

“Good girl,” he praises, standing up to hover over me, “I know it must be hard to let someone take care of you, but since I’ve taken on that role, I plan on not having you lift a finger if I can help it. Sorry, not sorry.”

“That’s some Prince Charming shit right there,” I blurt out, there goes my filter flying away in the wind again. Luckily, Walter just laughs at that and kisses my forehead.

We end up hanging out around his house for a few hours, having far too many snacks and too much coffee. What can I say, we’re both caffeine addicts and snack goblins. The only reason I ignore the voice telling me I’ve had enough snacks is the fact that Walter is hand-feeding me pieces of fruit. He was not kidding about me not lifting a finger. I could get used to this.

Before long, Walter is helping me put my shoes on so that we can head to my therapist appointment. He opens his truck door for me and even buckles me in, shooing my hands away. Holding my hand as he drives, he allows me to pick the music we listen to. When I joke ‘but I thought the driver picks the music and shotgun shuts his cakehole’, he has no clue what I’m talking about. I explain it away as a tv show reference, making sure to force him to watch Supernatural with me at some point.

As The Amazing Devil’s ‘Two Minutes’ is ending, we are pulling up to Yada’s office. I don’t even try to reach for my door handle, waiting for Walter to come around to my side of the vehicle. He lifts me out of the truck and I try not to smile too wide at that. Holding my hand as we cross the parking lot, he steps in front of me to open the door, allowing me to walk in first. I check in with the receptionist and we sit in the lobby holding hands again. This man likes to hold my hand, and I am not complaining about it.

I hear Yada’s office door open and she steps out to greet me. She visibly registers my hand intertwined with the man to my left. I stand, pulling Walter up with me by accident.

“Don’t worry, he’s gonna wait out here. Let’s go,” I sputter, moving past Yada and into the office. I notice Yada isn’t following me when I sit down. I hear introductions being exchanged and silently die inside. Why does it feel like my mom is meeting my boyfriend? Wait, is he my boyfriend? Oh my God, is he my boyfriend?

Yada comes back into the room and sits in her armchair, grabbing her notebook and writing quickly in it before addressing me. “So, let’s address the elephant in the room, or should I say the giraffe in my lobby. That man is tall as hell. And very pretty,” she jabbers on, smiling away at me, “Tell me all about him.”

I go on to tell her we met, or more correctly he saved my life, just before my last therapy appointment. I mention Faye and that we haven’t met yet. I talk about being in almost constant communication since I gave him my number on Monday. We discuss how he likes to take care of me, and that he did so after I told him about the whole Christopher thing. During this, she is taking notes in her book. When I bring up my episode this morning, she looks up at me.

“So, it sounds like Walter was able to ground you during a moment of dissociation. About how long did it last?” she asks.

“For just a few minutes. I remember getting out of my car, but from walking into the station to Walter effectively ‘waking me up’...it’s just like I was watching myself move but I wasn’t totally in control.” I murmur, finding my favorite spot on the rug.

“I see, can you remember this ever happening before?”

“The last time it happened was maybe five or six months ago after I had to quit the job at the prison infirmary. It was just too stressful. And I guess I have been kinda stressed the past couple of days. Everybody at work knows Walter and I are dating thanks to a couple of friends I made. Nina and Sophie are sweet but they have loose lips.”

“Either way, I am glad you made friends,” she smiles, taking a note, “Are there any other stressors besides a new public relationship?”

“His ex works at the station too. She’s been kinda giving me the stink eye when we pass each other. She hasn’t said or done anything. But like, she obviously still feels something for him,” I admit, rolling my eyes, “But if that chicken thinks she’s getting anywhere near my coop, she has got another thing coming.”

“Calm down, we don’t need you to be unprofessional in the workplace, no matter how she acts toward you,” she reasons, even though I only half-listen, “Does Walter know about Rachel’s behavior?”

“No, because I don’t want to sound like I’m crazy. I feel crazy. She probably just has resting bitch face?”

“I think you should tell him about the looks she has been giving you. Get his opinion on it before you discount your feelings completely. He might be able to shed some light on her behavior, or even better, he may be able to speak with her on terms she can understand. And that don’t involve you clubbing her like a seal and hiding the body behind the police station. But you didn’t hear that from me. That’s off the record, Your Honor.” she muses, winking at me before taking notes.

I agree to talk to Walter about Rachel and we decide this will be my homework for this week. Not difficult, but still awkward to start speaking about. I mean, how do you tell your significant other that their ex is problematic without seeming territorial or threatened? Rachel doesn’t strike me as the type to try and come in between Walter and me, but I will be keeping my eyes peeled.

“So are you and Walter using protection?” Out of nowhere, Yada hits me with that question.

“Yada! We haven’t even done anything yet? Jesus, woman,” I cover my face, happy again that my espresso skin doesn’t show the heat behind my cheeks.

“Yet being the optimal word. Got it. Well, use protection. You have every right to have sex and every right to protect yourself. So, don’t be coming round here saying ‘we got caught up in the moment’. Because so did Romeo and Juliet and look how that ended,” she deadpans, throwing her hands up.

“Did you just…never mind. We will use protection. When we get to that point. I’m in no rush and I can’t speak for him, but he at least respects my boundaries.”

“He sounds like a good egg. I like him already. He respects boundaries, he’s attractive, he’s got a stable income, and he liiiiiikes you,” she beams, rising from her armchair to go to her desk.

“I’m glad you approve because I like him and it just feels right with him. We connect so easily,” I say, noticing Yada is looking at me and shaking her head, “What now?”

“You are falling for him, girlfriend, don’t you see that?” she commented matter-of-factly.

“Shut up, no I’m not,” I answer grumpily.

“Alright, but you are,” she states, tilting her head, “There is nothing wrong with that, by the way.”

“I know. I’m just afraid of moving too fast. That’s kind of my way of doing things, and I don’t hate it but I don’t necessarily like it much either.”

“Love it or hate it, it is a part of you. And you either have to learn to thrive despite it, or work toward changing the behavior. But you know this already, Kamaria.”

“You’re right about that, but I still like the option of just complaining about it,” I confess, shrugging my shoulders.

“Either way, it is your choice. You are still scheduled virtually for next week. You have your homework, as well. Anything else you wanna gab about before we end today’s session?”

“Nope,” I say, letting the ‘p’ make a pop sound.

“Well, then I will let you get back to your tall, dark, and handsome fella,” she smiles, getting up to walk me out. We exit her office and she smiles at Walter, addressing him directly. “She has homework and it involves you, so don’t let her forget.” How she gonna do me like that?!

“Thanks, Yada,” I groan.

Walter is enjoying this way too much because he decides it’s best to pat my shoulder while saying, “Don’t you worry, I won’t let her forget.” He just smiles when I give him a glare that rivals the fire of a thousand suns. He probably thinks it’s cute or something. He holds his arm out to let me exit before him and I’m happy for this because then he can’t see me cursing his very existence. I still let him open the door for me. I also let him open the truck door and buckle me in. By the time he gets into the vehicle, I’m reaching over to hold his hand.

“Done being mad at me, then?” he jokes, taking my hand and kissing the back of it.

“Feed me and we’ll see if I can’t be swayed,” I advise, winking at him.

We grab a quick late lunch and head back to his place. I take a nap for a couple of hours and am awoken by the hearty scent of tomato sauce. I’m pretty sure I fell asleep on the couch, but I’m waking up in a bedroom underneath a light blanket, Beary tucked into my side. Walter must have moved me in here so I wouldn’t be disturbed. He can be so sweet sometimes, I wonder how long he can keep this up.

I get up from the bed, leaving Beary behind and I walk out to the living room to see Walter hard at work in the kitchen. He doesn’t notice me so I sneak up behind him and goose him. He doesn’t react, as if he knew I was coming.

“What makes you think I didn’t hear you from the moment you opened my bedroom door?” he began, only turning slightly to wink at me before returning to slicing french bread for garlic toast, “I used to be S.W.A.T., Princess, so it takes a lot to get the jump on me.”

“So, you’re say-”

“That is not an invitation for you to experiment on how to get the upper hand, love,” he stops me before I go down that useless train of thought.

“You got me, I’ll be on my best behavior, Sir,” I laugh, pulling myself up to sit on the counter near him.

“Would you like a piece of bread with some tomato sauce on it, Princess?”

“Yes, please,” I pipe up, excited to taste the aromatic sauce. I watch as he grabs a piece of bread, dipping it into the sauce before blowing on it a bit. He turns off the stove and comes to stand in front of me, placing the bite just out of reach. I look at him, confusion painted on my face.

“Tell me what your homework is and you can have your treat, Princess.”

I debate pouting but I know that won’t get me that saucy bread. “I have to talk to you about Rachel. She’s been weird around me, and it makes me uneasy,” I mumble, suddenly anxious.

“What exactly is she saying or doing?” he asks, allowing me to take a bite of the bread, still holding onto it himself.

“She hasn’t said anything to me, she just gives me this bitchy glare whenever we cross paths,” I speak around the bite of bread I was granted, “Honestly, baby, she freaks me out and I don’t like the idea of having to avoid your ex.”

“You shouldn’t have to actively avoid her,” he holds the last bite of bread out for me and places it in my awaiting mouth, “I’ll talk to her. I don’t want to scare her too much. But I do want her to know you mean a lot to me and if I’m lucky, you’ll be in my life for a long time to come. She needs to suck it up and get used to it.”

“Fuck, that is so sexy to hear you say,” I disclose, reaching up to cup the back of his head, pulling him into a searing kiss.

I clench my thighs together as I feel his tongue invade my mouth. Strong hands part my legs so that he can slide in between them. Our clothed sexes line up perfectly and I wrap my legs around his hips. A growl rumbles from his chest to my groin. We part to catch our breath, our foreheads resting together.

“Fuck, will you let me eat your pussy, baby?” he practically moans the question and it lights a fire up under my ass.

“Please, yes,” I gasp, wrapping my arms around his neck before he picks me up off the counter and walks us into his bedroom. He lays me down slowly. Kissing from my lips to my neck, nipping along the way. I gasp inwardly when I feel his hand ghost over my covered heat, my back arching at the touch.

“I’m going to take such good care of you, baby. You just relax and take what you need from me,” he whispers, moving down the bed as he hooks his fingers in my pants. He pulls them down, leaving me in my drenched panties. He kisses the fabric of my underwear before pulling those down as well.

He dives into my sodden snatch, using the flat of his tongue to lick a stripe from my entrance to my swollen nub before kissing it. My hands go from gripping the sheets to weaving through his curls when I feel him start to suck on my button.

“Fuuuuuck, Daddy, just like that,” I mewl, his growl vibrating through my clit. I feel his hands grip my thick thighs, pulling me closer to him as he eats greedily. I look down at him, his eyes are closed and he looks like he is in Heaven feasting on me. As if he could sense my stare, his eyes open and we share a heated mutual gaze.

While still attending to my nub, he reaches up to my mouth and I suck two of his fingers, getting them nice and wet. When he’s satisfied, he leans back and licks his lips, entering my core with his spit-slicked digits and I cry out at the sensation.

“You’re so fucking tight, hot, and wet baby. Fucking perfect, I can’t wait to feel you wrapped around my cock,” he hummed, working his fingers in and out of me slowly until I arch my back to ride his fingers.

I pull him up to kiss me, tasting myself on his lips. His fingers find my inner bundle of nerves, massaging it as his thumb circles my clit. My breathing picks up as I feel the coil in my depths tightening until it snaps and I squeeze my eyes shut in anticipation.

“No, no, no. Look at me when I make you cum,” our eyes lock and I arch off the bed as my orgasm hits me full force. But this one feels different, so much more powerful than ever before. “Fuuuuuuuck, yes! Squirt all over me,” I faintly hear Walter groan those words before I realize my thighs are wet and sloshing noises are bouncing off the walls. Walter looks back up to my face and his pupils are blown wide. “You look so beautiful like this. All fucked out, tears flowing freely.” Did he say tears?

I reach up to my cheeks and feel wetness staining them, my eyes are blurry with unshed moisture. Then the emotion behind it all attacks and I begin to cry fully. I know they are happy tears but I can’t verbalize that to Walter yet and he starts to panic.

“S’ok…so good…emotional,” I mutter, trying to let him know I’m alright. He seems to understand and nods, going to the attached bathroom and coming back with two towels. I feel wet warmth between my thighs as he cleans me, then dries me off with the other towel. He lays down next to me and covers me with the comforter and I close my eyes in contentment.

He peppers my face with slow kisses, from my eyelids to my nose to my cheeks to my lips. When I open my eyes again, Walter is looking at me with a look that definitely spells out his feelings for me. Instead of putting words to it, we just lay and bask in its radiance. I struggle to keep my eyes open and finally keep them closed.

I feel a kiss placed on my forehead and stir while I hear Walter’s soothing voice in my ears. “You did so good, Angel. Rest as long as you need to, and I’ll be here when you wake up.”

I awake some time later, and true to his word, Walter is still laying next to me. His soft snores are like music to my ears. I lean up and nuzzle our noses together until he stirs and opens his eyes and smiles down at me.

“Hey, baby,” he gives me a quick peck, “How do you feel?”

“Well…so far, I feel refreshed. But I haven’t tried to walk yet,” I laugh, “That will be the true test. And I need to pee anyway.” At that, I sit up and stretch my arms over my head. I swing my legs out of the bed and stand up slowly. I take my first step and it’s wobbly as hell.

Walter gets up and helps me to the bathroom, because of course he does. He stays in the bathroom with me to make sure I don’t tip off the toilet or slip into the bathtub. I mean, at this point, I squirted all over his hand so I’m sure he can handle me peeing while he’s in the room. He even jokes that he can’t believe I have any liquids left in me. I playfully swat at him and he only grins at me.

We end up having dinner shortly after, the pasta was spectacular and the garlic toast was perfect. The rest of the night is spent introducing Walter to Supernatural. He likes how funny it is, and I feel obligated to tell him that this is one of the saddest shows to ever grace television screens. Once I say that, he vows to still watch the show because it means so much to me.

We lay down in his bed for the night, talking about what we want to do this weekend. I mention that it would be nice to do absolutely nothing and just be lazy bums all weekend and he approves. Our weekend is spent finishing the first season of Supernatural and me answering all of Walter’s questions about the show. He is so cute getting all invested in one of my faves. And if we take breaks for him to test how many times he can make me cum in a weekend, then that’s our business.

He won’t allow me to return the favor, however. He says that this is all a part of him taking care of me this weekend. I try not to feel undeserving of so much positive attention, but I’m still a work in progress. And that is just fine for now because he is good at making me forget why I was anxious in the first place. My sweet Walter better count his days, because I am going to rock his world when I finally get the chance.

Chapter 5

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gyumimiz · 10 months

Text

1. fever dream high in the quiet of the night

the train runs through fields and meadows as you’re reading the last chapter of the book you borrowed from the library before your trip. the window above your head is slightly open and the wind is making your hair a little bit of a mess. but it feels nice. the air outside smells like warmth and summer. you slowly start to recognize your surroundings, meaning you’re close to your destination. you start to look for the sea which should appear soon somewhere among the hills.

you quickly pack your things to the backpack when the train reaches its final destination. you get off, surrounded by tourists also coming here for the holidays. parents with their kids, elderly couples and groups of teenagers fill the train station as you’re trying to find haerim among them.

finally, after looking around for like ten minutes you spot a brown haired girl with two braids waving at you. “there she is”, you mutter to yourself. big grin appears on your face as you make your way to your cousin and you two hug each other so tight you almost can’t catch your breath.

“i missed you so much i thought i’ll die if i won’t see you soon” she admits while trying to help you with carrying your baggage “jesus, what did pack there?”

“yeah i’m glad to see you too. and you know, it’s hard to decide which clothes to bring knowing you will probably force me to go to the parties with you each weekend”

“not this year my friend!” she shakes her head “i told you, i’ve already met the prettiest boy on this planet. i mean... i haven’t met him but i will, i mean WE will.”

right after you unpack your stuff in haerim’s bedroom, you two decide to go for a night walk along the coast. it’s finally cooler outside and the moon and stars shine so beautifully that night, you can’t take your eyes off them, taking hundreds of photos with your phone of the night sky.

you wander along the path by the sea, talking about everything and, at the same time, nothing at all. you grumble about your exams and complain about the fact that you just graduated from high school, but you have nothing figured out. she talks about how she hates living in such a small village because nothing really happens here except summertime and she can’t wait to move to a bigger city. you can’t really understand her, because you would love to live there. you love it when nothing is happening because it’s just so peaceful. your cousin is like the total opposite of you. but maybe that’s why you get along that well.

since it’s only the first week of summer vacation, there aren’t too many tourists yet. you pass only a few couples and families on your way. the villas near the seaside seem to still be empty and waiting for their owner to come to visit for the holidays. it’s so quiet here. but only until you two hear loud laughs and screams from one of the mansions. some men, or maybe boys, judging by their voices, are probably having a lot of fun up there on the terrace.

of course, your cousin stops and tilts up her head to see their faces. probably to see if one of them is her type or whatever, you think. you just roll your eyes and cross your arms, not really interested in the whole situation.

“oh my god” she says and covers her mouth too late to stop herself from saying that.

you take a deep breath and look up.

you see a group of five guys, clearly enjoying their time together. they all look as if they were around your age. one of them has bleached hair which, at first, kind of draws your attention.

he caughts you two staring and smiles. more towards haerim than you.

“hello!” he says, which makes the other one turn around to check who’s his friend talking to.

and then you feel weird. like, the world kind of stops, as you catch eye contact with the brown-haired boy. he is gorgeous. because handsome is too little to say, you just have to say he is gorgeous.

he holds half empty bottle of champagne in his hand and you can clearly see he is already a bit drunk. but his dazed eyes and messy hair make him look as if he was straight from a romance movie. he smiles softly, which makes you look away and catch your friend’s hand to pull her with you as you walk away.

“heyy nice to meet you, wait!” but you just say to your friend: let’s go haerim it’s late “we still have some champagne left!” you still hear the voice of one of the boys behind your back

“what are you doing? they invited us and you just...” haerim starts but you cut her off

“bestie, be serious, we’re not drinking with strangers”

“you really are no fun, that was this boy i told you about!” she complains on your way home.

okay, you can admit. he was pretty. maybe even more than pretty. maybe even the prettiest boy you’ve ever seen.

well it doesn’t matter now, that you’re all comfortable and cozy in your bed with grumpy haerim laying by your side. she is still kind of mad at you that you ignored the pretty boy and just walked away. but you’re sure that tomorrow she’ll just find another one to admire and forget about the guys you saw tonight.

and, of course, so will you.

note: i know it’s short but i just wanted to upload the first chapter already:D i really hope u liked it and sorry for the mistakes (i haven’t really checked it) also, i will upload playlist soon and let me know if you want to be added to the taglist (or removed). as for now i only added people who commented on main post<3

please interact with this post because i see no point in writing this if it has like 3 likes after idk like 2 weeks

masterlist

taglist: @choijxn @flwerfield @felixrs @yxnjvnnie @reetxjaitly @babigriin

#yeonjun smau #yeonjun fic #txt #txt fic #txt fluff #yeonjun fluff #enemies to lovers #stranger to lovers #choi yeonjun #txt fanfic #yeonjun fanfic

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dumfanting · 1 year

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I've been reading Same Heart and enjoying it thus far! My favorite parts have been with the Batch and the main character, especially with Crosshair and how you have been exploring with Crosshair's feelings for the main character. I do worry how Crosshair having feelings for her will be taken by Echo, especially since she seems to be forming feelings for Crosshair as well. Crosshair is the type to push at people he doesn't know or trust, to hurt them so they can't hurt his family, and I believe your characterization of Crosshair has been fitting that "heart of gold hidden by steel walls" very well.

Scared to see what happens when his chip activates though... and if the Batch will try to save him, if that is where your fic is leading to.

For all that, the parts that hit most personally were the moments in Chapter 18 when Tech went to talk to Echo and was told off in the start, and in Chapter 19 when the main character told Tech off for recording them (this part, most of all, [“Apologies if I’ve overstepped,” Tech says, not meeting your eyes] as I understand and feel for Tech so much there. I know he's not a main focus, but seeing these small moments with Tech are nice!

Appreciate the exploration of trauma Echo would be realistically going through after being removed from the cryo chamber on Skako Minor, as well as the fact he would not be able to recover instantly to head to battle on Trench's ship. Also appreciate that the main character is dealing with her grief and pushing herself (as before she was assigned to the Bad Batch) beyond her capabilities because of it. I hope she can start to heal over time!

(Also, simply because I sometimes have a hard time with distinguishing when a new character speaks in some paragraphs, would you be able to put new paragraphs for each new speaker, please? Like this paragraph in chapter 18:

“Don’t be,” he says, waving it off. “Do you need anything?” he continues. You stretch again and sigh heavily. “I’ll start with a shower, I think.” you say, quickly grabbing a change of clothes. “You want to supervise that too?” you say with a smirk. Would be easier to read like this:

“Don’t be,” he says, waving it off. “Do you need anything?” he continues.

You stretch again and sigh heavily.

“I’ll start with a shower, I think.” you say, quickly grabbing a change of clothes. “You want to supervise that too?” you say with a smirk.

or something like that. It helps because I have dyslexia and always struggle with these paragraphs due to how my brain reads them. You don't have to, of course!)

Looking forward to the next chapters and what happens with Cross and everything possibly revolving around that!

Hey, thanks for reading! I love that you’ve taken the time to share your thoughts about the story with me.

Most important thing first off: Dyslexic readers genuinely didn’t occur to me, apologies for that, I’ll put more effort into ease of reading.

With that in mind, I’m going to put this under a read more so I can break up the blocks of text but not take up too much dash space.

I’m glad to hear the way I’m writing Crosshair is working, I’m always worried he’s ooc. Depending on how season two of TBB goes, I may wind up splitting away from canon eventually.

Right now I’ll be following the same general storyline of season one, once we get there. His chip is going to be a major source of conflict regardless.

As for Tech, I wanted to eventually explore and develop everyone around the protagonist, he just happened to pop up first.

I make mistakes like that too, and he feels more relatable like this. He’s trying! I also wanted Meds to have a noticeable impact on the guys around her too.

Echo, my love. It’s always bothered me how his recovery was glossed over (I understand why, for times sake, and at the end of the day it is a kids show) and I wanted to take the time to more realistically explore that. That’s what fics are for!

Many in the fandom give Echo a hard time for being ‘grumpy’ and that just doesn’t sit right with me. I think they tend to forget how traumatized he is. Hopefully showing what he’s been through that we as viewers didn’t see will help some to understand him better.

Meds has a good heart, but she needs to remember that it isn’t wrong to put herself first sometimes.

Thank you again for such a great ask! Feel free to ask me anything else or make suggestions like this again.

#asks and answers #same heart

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makeste · 3 years

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“but I thought about how I needed to say this”

a.k.a. yet another meta dissection of The Apology. I actually wrote most of this up on Friday night based on the original Japanese (@pikahlua has an excellent translation up here, and I also used @hanashimas’ translations as a reference as well), but I wanted to wait until the official release, though that turned out to be a mixed bag to say the least lol.

I would also recommend reading @pikahlua and @class1akids’ breakdowns of this scene (here and here, respectively), because they are excellent, and because if any scene deserves to have as many meta breakdowns written about it as possible, it’s this one.

anyway so here goes.

Caleb did a more accurate job with this than the fanscan, even if he did try his best to take us out of the seriousness of the moment by throwing in that swiss cheese line lol. anyway so there are two things I want to talk about here. the first is the line about Izuku not remembering, which I thought was a nice touch. of course he doesn’t remember what Kacchan said back then. he wasn’t exactly in the soundest emotional state after seeing one of the people he cares about most taking a near-fatal blow that was meant for him. I’d be shocked if he remembers anything about the aftermath (including the way he flew into a mindless rage afterwards) right up until the point when he entered the OFA Interstellar Party Void with Tomura. anyway, so I thought that was a nice callback.

and speaking of emotional states, the other thing I wanted to talk about is the part that Caleb got right which the fan scanlation didn’t. “but I had more to say.” in other words, “stop trying to win on your own” wasn’t just a one-liner; it was meant to be the beginning of a much longer speech. “there were other things that I needed to say.”

like, can we just stop and talk about that for a second. because basically what this means is that in that instant, when Kacchan pushed Deku out of the way and got impaled, his one and only thought was that he needed to apologize to Deku. his life was presumably flashing before his eyes, he had no idea if he was going to survive or not, and the only thing on his mind was how urgently he needed to make things right with his former childhood friend.

moving on!

so I have a confession to make, which is that I am relieved to see Katsuki describing this as the reason why he bullied Deku, as opposed to Horikoshi trying to retcon it into some sort of “secretly he was just trying to protect him and keep him out of harm’s way because he was worried” thing, which ngl would not have gelled very well with me. the thing is that I’m really not a fan of the whole “Kacchan Did Nothing Wrong” mentality that some fans seem to have. like, I have seen all sorts of convoluted attempts to find excuses for Katsuki’s shitty behavior, but in my view those attempts undermine what I love about his character in the first place. Katsuki is such a great character specifically because he is not perfect. his redemption arc is so compelling because he was such a giant asshole at the start. he was completely at fault, and he acknowledges this, and takes full responsibility for it. and that is fucking fantastic.

his arc is so great because it doesn’t rely on garnering sympathy by giving him a Tragic Past, or by trying to foist the blame for his behavior over on someone else. it’s an arc that acknowledges that redemption isn’t something you achieve by making people feel sorry for you; it’s something you have to earn by actively working to change and do better. and by forgoing the “misunderstood/tragic past” route, Horikoshi is making a statement that anyone can go down the wrong path, but that more importantly, anyone can also choose at any time to turn away from said path. there is only one requirement for doing so, and that is realizing that you’ve done wrong, and deciding that you want to change.

anyway, so in chapter 284 Kacchan of course had that whole speech about Deku not taking himself into account, and mentioned how that made him want to keep his distance. and a good chunk of fandom took this to mean that Katsuki’s bullying was actually a misguided response to Deku’s reckless tendencies -- sort of an “if I show him how weak and powerless he really is, I can get him to accept the reality that he’s quirkless, and that being a hero will just get him hurt or killed” type of thing. and I won’t lie, for a good while I was wondering myself if Horikoshi was really going to go down that route. and like I said, I am honestly relieved that he didn’t. not only for the reasons stated in the previous paragraph, but also because the message that would have sent -- that there are certain circumstances in which bullying can almost be excused because the bully had Good Intentions and was just trying to save the other person from themselves, and so it Wasn’t That Bad, Actually -- is all kinds of fucked up to say the least. so yeah, I’m glad we ended up steering well clear of that.

(ETA: this post was long enough already so I edited out the 3 additional paragraphs I originally wrote analyzing the dialogue from 284. but just to be clear, I’m not trying to imply that Kacchan worrying about Deku’s recklessness is a retconned thing that Horikoshi only threw into the story recently, because there are multiple instances throughout the story where he clearly is worried and in total denial of it. but I firmly believe those feelings are not what led to the bullying. they’re two separate things. Kacchan worrying about Deku is what prompts him to yell at him in chapter 1 when Deku comes to save him. but it’s not what incited him to burn his notebook and taunt him earlier in that same chapter. that action had a much meaner and more selfish motivation behind it, and I’m glad Horikoshi didn’t try to change it up last minute, because it wouldn’t have felt right.)

thankfully as of this chapter I think we can safely cross that out as a possibility, as we’re given the true explanation straight from Katsuki himself. and the truth is that he bullied Deku out of insecurity and jealousy and fear and intolerance. there was nothing noble about it. there were no good intentions concealed in his actions. there are no justifications given, no excuses offered, and no mitigating circumstances to be considered, other than the fact (which neither he nor Horikoshi bring up) that he was and is still a child, and that children make mistakes.

it’s an explanation that challenges many of fandom’s ideas on who is and isn’t eligible to be redeemed. there is no Ozai in Katsuki’s backstory. there’s no great tragedy that he spent a lifetime trying to rise above. the only villain in Katsuki’s story is Katsuki himself. the only darkness that he has to overcome is his own. and it’s challenging, because I think many people believe the only way someone can be redeemed for doing bad things is if bad things happen to them in return. but what Horikoshi is saying here is that that’s not the case. bad doesn’t erase bad. and the one and only way to truly earn redemption is by doing good.

and that’s what makes this such a phenomenal scene for me. by not shying away from Katsuki’s flaws and failings, and having him take full responsibility for them, Horikoshi keeps the apology from being self-serving, and underscores the true depth of Katsuki’s character development. the level of self-awareness he has here is something most people can only dream of. which is very fitting, as that’s perhaps the most important takeaway from his character arc -- that it’s only by acknowledging your own weaknesses and flaws that you can learn to overcome them and reach your full potential.

one last thing to point out here, which is that in the panel where Katsuki finally acknowledges his terrible treatment of Deku, Deku is not even visible. instead, Horikoshi drew the panel from a perspective that makes it appear that Katsuki is addressing this particular line not just to Deku, but to all of his classmates.

again, he shows him taking full responsibility and admitting his wrongdoings in front of the people whose opinions and approval he cares about most. and just to clarify in case there’s any confusion from Caleb’s translation, Kacchan’s wording makes it very clear that he wasn’t just “mean” to Deku, but that he full-on bullied him (he uses the same verb -- “ijimeru” (苛める) -- that he did back in chapter 284). there’s no attempt to downplay his actions here.

moving on now, this chapter also reaffirmed another thing about Deku and Kacchan’s relationship which I was glad to see revisited -- Kacchan’s unwavering belief in Deku’s ability. this is one of those paradoxical things about their relationship which I’ve always been fascinated by, but which is also kind of hard to explain, because I don’t want it to come off like I’m trying to put a positive spin on something which was unequivocally awful. like, please don’t think I’m trying to say that Katsuki’s bullying of Deku was in any way a good thing. but that being said, there’s also a strange irony at play here, which is that Katsuki’s jealousy and insecurity also betray the fact that even at his very worst, he never once underestimated Deku. he has always believed in Deku’s strength, even when that strength pissed him off and made him afraid and uneasy.

no one else -- not All Might, or even Deku’s own mom -- believed from the get-go that Deku could become a hero. but Katsuki never once counted him out, even when he was calling him a pebble in his shoe. he confesses here that even though he “tried to act superior by rejecting [Deku]”, in truth he was never able to shake the feeling that Deku was above him. long before he ever understood the concept of “win to save”, he knew instinctively that there was a strength in Deku’s heart that couldn’t be measured, and which had the potential to surpass even his own strength. and I’ve always felt that this was so important, because it’s the one aspect of their early relationship that hinted that on some level, however subconscious, Katsuki held the same type of faith in Deku that Deku always held in him. it was one of the few things that hinted at there being a possible path towards reconciliation one day. and it paved the way for the most important shift in their relationship to date, when Katsuki finally realized who Deku got his quirk from, and responded not with resentment or spite, but with acceptance.

moving on, I also really love the way we see them portrayed at the different stages of their childhood throughout this speech, and how it perfectly lines up with the dialogue. from small children (when Katsuki talks about his insecurities first manifesting), to middle schoolers (when he talks about the bullying), to high schoolers (when he talks about the past year and everything he’s learned at U.A.). Horikoshi really didn’t have to go that hard, but he did, and that’s why we love him.

and then we finally get to That Part.

where do I even start with this there are so many things omg.

the bow. this is the one and only time Katsuki has ever bowed to anyone of his own volition as far as I recall. and this absolutely is a bow, just to be clear, even though his form is straight-up garbage (very Kacchan-esque, with his feet and arms spaced apart because he’s still a punk after all). this is Kacchan showing more humility and respect than he’s ever shown to anyone else in his entire life.

regarding “Izuku”, I actually have mixed feelings about this to tell the truth. I think it was a good call here because it was incredibly effective in setting the tone and showing just how serious Kacchan is. however if he continues to use “Izuku” rather than “Deku” from here on out, that would give the impression in hindsight that all his past usage of “Deku” really was meant as an insult, which would undermine some of my favorite scenes. I would really like to believe that since DvK2 or thereabouts, Kacchan has (mostly) been using “Deku (affectionate)” rather than “Deku (useless loser)”, lol. but if he switches to the “nicer” name on a permanent basis following his apology, it implies that the previous nickname was indeed being used cruelly. and so honestly I hope this was just a one-time thing, because I do think that in Katsuki’s mind, the name “Deku” hasn’t been meant as a slight to him for a long time now.

“my truth/this is what I truly feel” -- the word Katsuki uses in Japanese is honne (本音), and if you’re familiar with the concept of honne/tatemae, that’s the same “honne” he’s talking about here. it means that he’s casting aside all of his walls and facades and expressing what he truly feels. and of course, one of the fascinating things about Katsuki’s character is that he’s the exact opposite of most people in that he chooses to put his meanness on full display to the public, and ironically it’s the kindest parts of himself which he tends to keep the most carefully guarded and hidden away. this also means that while his rage and anger are very often insincere and put on just for show, those relatively few occasions where he lets his humanity truly shine through are pretty much 100% genuine, as is the case with this one here.

and Deku’s face says it all when it comes to how powerful those moments can be as a result.

and this, right here, is why it wasn’t enough for Katsuki to atone solely through his actions, and why he needed to actually say the words as well. it’s not that the words are more important; obviously the actions are far and away the most important part, and carry far more meaning. but the reason why Katsuki needed to say the words as well is simply because Izuku needed to hear them. needed to, and deserved to, because this is one of the most important people in the world to him.

and so he deserves to know that the relationship isn’t just one-sided, and that he is just as important to Kacchan as Kacchan is to him. he deserves to know that Kacchan understands how horribly he treated him, and that he’s sorry for it. and he deserves to know that Kacchan, without any expectation of it changing their relationship -- meaning that he will continue to feel this way regardless of what Izuku says or does from here on out -- cares about him. now more than ever, with AFO out there doing everything in his power to make Izuku feel as alone as possible, this is something that he really, really needed to hear.

so this part has some interesting wordplay which neither Caleb’s translation nor the fan scanlation was really able to get across. basically, in the Japanese version, when Katsuki talks about “those ideals”, Horikoshi uses the kanji for “ideal”, but pronounces it as “All Might.” obviously the meaning of this isn’t too hard to decipher, as we all know how much both boys admire All Might. to them, he absolutely is synonymous with the Ideal. so this is a way of showing that respect they both have towards him, even as Katsuki goes on to point out the one fatal flaw that All Might was never able to overcome.

and speaking of interesting wording, as others have noted, at this point in his speech Katsuki switches from “temee” (which he was using earlier during the “your strengths and my weaknesses” part) to “omae” (“omae” being a less insulting word for “you”, though still very manly and tough-sounding), which is definitely a big deal. though fwiw this is not the first time he’s used “omae” for Deku (he switches to it briefly right after DvK2, when he tells Deku “you had the strongest guy lay the groundwork for you -- don’t lose”, and then later when they’re walking back to the dorms and he says he’ll learn and get stronger by watching everyone around him just like Deku did). it’s definitely a good choice on Horikoshi’s part though, as it makes this last part of the speech sound more earnest and sincere.

just a quick note, he does indeed use a plural pronoun here, as in “the obstacles that you can’t overcome, we will overcome.” but as @pikahlua pointed out, the “we” here is ambiguous -- it could either mean “we” as in class 1-A -- “we will overcome them for you” -- OR it could mean “we” as in all of them -- class 1-A and Deku. “we will overcome them together.” idk about you, but I know which one gets my vote.

anyway, and so this is the line that finally wins Deku over and allows him to let go of his fears, however briefly. what I love about this is Kacchan’s utter conviction. one thing that Caleb’s translation doesn’t quite get across is Kacchan’s use of the word morenaku -- “without exception” -- when he talks about how they’re going to save everyone and win. it echoes that same sentiment he showed back during the Joint Training arc -- that it’s not a perfect victory unless they save everyone. every last person. and he explicitly lists Deku among their number, just so there can be no doubt.

and Deku’s response to this (or at least his thoughts, since he’s not really able to get many words out) pretty much brings everything full circle here.

he acknowledges that everyone else has gotten ahead of him. which is especially meaningful given who he’s standing directly across from. because for most of the series, as we all well know, it’s been Kacchan who was woefully lagging behind Deku in the character growth department. but now Deku himself is acknowledging that not only has Kacchan finally caught up at last, but that he and the others have surpassed him. which is only temporary, I should add, as I have zero doubt that Deku will catch up again soon. but the fact remains that just as Deku’s rapid increase in strength and skill left Kacchan scrambling to keep up earlier in the series, Kacchan’s extraordinary character development has now left Deku in that same position. as All Might once put it, “when he’s starting at level one, and you’re already at level 50, it’s only natural that you’ll be growing at different rates.”

and what’s so wonderful about this though is that the two of them are finally approaching that point where they’ve both caught up to each other and are finally starting to level out. Deku is a full-on badass, and Kacchan is out here talk-no-jutsuing with the best of them. the two of them have been chasing and chasing after each other this entire time, and now they’re finally just about ready to meet in the middle at long last, with each of them fully embodying both of those two crucial aspects -- win, and save.

just about. because Deku still needs some help catching up. but seeing as help has already been offered -- and accepted -- I can’t imagine it will be very long now, and I can’t wait to see him finally overcoming those fears and doubts with his friends by his side. it’s going to be such a powerful moment.

and last but not least,

or, as I prefer,

you had one job, Caleb. flkjsdlk.

but at least this provides a good opportunity to note that unlike the “we’ll help you handle it” line earlier in the speech, here the phrasing is left up to interpretation, as he doesn’t use a pronoun. so it could be “we know”, or, as the fan scanlation put it, “I know.” or it could be both. regardless, it’s good stuff.

anyway, and so Deku passes out, and in the process Horikoshi gives us one last parting metaphor, just in case anyone still thinks Kacchan is all talk because they haven’t been paying attention for the past 322 chapters (more likely than you think). once again, Katsuki’s actions speak louder than his words (even his nice words) ever could: he is literally there to catch Deku when he falls.

so that’s it! my sincere thanks to anyone who actually read through all of my endless ramblings about this scene which I have been waiting for since day one. props to Horikoshi for taking on an impossibly difficult task, and pulling it off with all of the emotion and care and nuance that I’ve come to expect from his writing. imo he delivered on every single level with the exception of the aftermath, which I don’t consider to have actually happened yet. Deku’s part of this is definitely a “to be continued.” but yeah, as far as Kacchan’s part goes, 10/10. so fucking proud of this kid.

#bnha 322 #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #bakudeku #bnha meta #bakugou meta #deku meta #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

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tumbling-darkling · 3 years

Text

The boy who lived and the professor that didn’t (for the most part)

AO3

During Harry's second year at Hogwarts, a strange and unexpected man starts teaching his Defence Against the Dark Arts class.

(A Danny Phantom X Harry Potter crossover)

Chapter 1

Harry took a seat in the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, glancing over to Ron who sat beside him and then scanning the classroom for their new DA professor. He already met the man in Diagon Alley, blonde and very much interested in only himself. Harry shivered as he remembered being pushed towards him as people took pictures of the famous wizard and the boy who lived.

At least it wasn’t worse than a head of the dark lord growing out of the back of the professor's neck.

Well- Harry did thumb through some of the textbooks before classes started. He absolutely agreed with Hermione who was very vocal about the books- they didn’t actually seem to teach anything. Just spoke about the ‘many adventures of Gilderoy Lockhart’.

Maybe this will just end up being an easy class.

The door slammed open 15 minutes past the start of class, startling the students as they swiveled their heads to look at the newcomer, expecting Gilderoy Lockhart.

Instead a tall man with a slim frame and hunched posture strode into the room. He had messy black hair pulled in a very horrible and tangled loose bun with the remaining dreads lazily dangling at the man's shoulders, his chin and cheeks covered in unshaven stubble. His robe was creased and torn, his hat loosely hanging from his hand and his sleeves pushed almost all the way up his arms. What really caught people’s attention was those eyes. Unnaturally clear and bright icy blue, so blue that even in the bright light they seemed to slightly glow.

He quickly pulled down his sleeves as he walked past the students towards the front of the room, grumbling slightly under his breath about something Harry couldn’t catch. He tossed the hat aside, muttering more loudly about how ‘wizard hats are so stupid and impractical I’m not wearing that garbage’ before he turned towards the class.

“My name is Fenton- er Professor Fenton I guess. Since I’ll be teaching you about…” he glanced down at the podium he stood in front of, crouching a little as if looking for something before straightening back up. “Defense… Against the… Dark… Arts,” he said slowly and not very confidently. Then he whispered again to himself but just loud enough for some students to pick up, “they see me fight one god damn ghost and suddenly I’m an expert on all dark magic entities? I think I’ll fight Dumbledore after this.” He straightened a little, eyes looking over the classes.

Harry did not like those eyes lingering on him for half a second longer than the others. He didn’t like this professor looking at him at all.

Something just didn’t feel right.

“Alright, any questions?”

A hand immediately went up, and Harry knew exactly who it belonged to.

“Uh- yes miss-?”

“Hermione Granger. Wasn’t our professor supposed to be Gilderoy Lockhart?”

“Yeah- that guy. He’s a phoney.”

The class went silent before someone yelled out, “WHAT?”

“Guy went around, found Wizards and Witches that did cool things, made them forget it then took all the credit. Tried to take my credit and I hit him a little too hard. Now I’m here taking his place. It’s all over the news, you know. You can read the exaggerated details in there. Anything else?”

The same hand went up.

Professor Fenton sighed, “yes?”

“Why were you 15 minutes late? Shouldn’t professors be on time? And why do you look like you crawled out of the forbidden forest.”

“I fought a ghost. Then got lost,” Fenton deadpanned.

The class went silent.

Fenton then turned around, “well if that’s all, let’s get started with something I know a lot about. What do you already know about Ghosts?”

“You’re seriously more afraid of Professor Fenton than Professor Snape?” Hermione asked Ron. “He’s not even mean! Sure he’s grumpy but he doesn’t beat down every question I ask him! He even seems to be glad I’m asking questions! Unlike Professor Snape who just treats us like idiots for not knowing something.”

“Sure- he’s not mean or cruel but… he just freaks me out. Like how he just stares sometimes at empty walls! Or how the room temperature always drops the moment he seems to take a single step into the room! I can’t even hear his footsteps when he walks! He’s bloody freaky is what he is!”

“Well I for one am glad he’s our Professor! Imagine having a phony for a professor! Though he talks a lot about ghosts. Ghosts can’t cause people harm. At most they give a little scare but it’s not like they could cause terrible damage.”

“What about those ectoplasm based ones he was talking about? The solid ones?” Harry asked.

“Rare and unlikely. Ectoplasm doesn’t form in the magical world, Harry! The stuff that leaks through and hangs in the air is only enough to allow ghosts like Nick or Myrtle to hang around in harmless ways.”

“But he said he fought a ghost before he arrived in class! And he looked really beat up!”

“He said he got lost too! Maybe he just stumbled across a guard dog like Fluffy and made up something about ghosts!”

“What if it’s like the last professor though? What if he’s looking for another secret object in Hogwarts walls?” Harry hissed softly, “Ron is right that he just has a sense of oddness about him! I just don’t trust him!”

“Harry, you’re just paranoid from last year. Professor Fenton is normal. Now pick up your pace, we’re going to be late for our next class!”

Professor Fenton glanced down at Harry, then back at Professor McGonagall, “he has what with me?”

“Detention. You see, Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley caused a bit of a fuss by driving a flying car in plain sight of several muggles, and risked exposing the magical world. As such, his punishment has been detention. I trust you can find some fitting work for him to do as he reflects on his actions?”

Fenton crosses his arms, his mouth tightening slightly into a grimace as his fingers slightly tapped his own arms. “This won’t be every night, will it?” He asked.

“No, we will be switching supervisors for a few weeks but you may also need to supervise Mr. Weasley sometime before then.”

Fenron let out a sigh of defeat, “well- alright. I’ll take care of it then.”

Professor McGonagall gave a curt nod before turning stiffly and walking off. Professor Fenton scratched at the back of his neck as he watched her walk off, then glanced down at Harry, those eyes seeming to search him for… something. Then that stern look relaxed into a lopsided grin, “So you were the one that made that stuck up ministry trip over their hats and scramble around in blind panic! I say, hats off to you young Potter!” He laughed.

Harry blinked in confusion at the shift in mood, then Fenton patted him on the back, “hey, no need to look so freaked out! I’m not gonna bite ya!” He began walking forward, and it took Harry an extra second to realize that the professor was moving and he should follow. “Oh, wait you probably are a little freaked out, huh? I guess my mood could have been a bit better this morning, I was just a little flabbergasted today. I was kinda rushed into this position, you know.” He shrugged, his hands shoved into his cloak’s pockets. He didn’t really walk like any of the other Hogwarts professors. He had this relaxed saunter, like he was more of a visiting relative than a staff member. “Say, let’s say your ‘punishment’ will just be helping me bring some books from the library to my quarters. There’s a lot I need to run through and a single trip would make all the difference.”

Harry nodded, finding it hard to keep up with the man's long strides. “So… you don’t like the ministry of magic?” Harry asked.

Professor Fenton huffed in annoyance, “not one bit. They are almost worse than observants!” Harry had no idea what those were. Another level of magic government? “They try to control every little thing. Don’t expose magic to the normal world. Don’t use magic to make technology without permission. Don’t use magic to save muggle children if people are watching.” His said in a mocking tone, “they have so many rules that are outdated or stupid. Never trust a government, kid! Especially a magical one!”

“What are… observants?”

Fenton glanced down at Harry, “oh those stuck up jerks? They are like the government of the ghost realm. Really annoying. Unlike the Ministry of Magic, they actually know how to find me!” He laughed.

“Ghosts have governments?”

“Oh yeah! They have more of a monarchy, the observants are like hermit wizards that only step in when they believe the world is in peril. Meanwhile the rest falls on the shoulders of the Ghost King.”

Harry frowned, “I’ve never read about that in the textbooks. Hermione says that ghosts are just harmless beings formed from souls that aren’t ready to leave the mortal realm.”

“Well she’s half right. There’s different kinds of ghosts, like Sir Nicolas and the Bloody Baron. They are more like echoes. Souls that cling desperately to this world but didn’t have enough ectoplasm to become a fully solid ectoplasmic being. They won’t leave for the infinite realms until they are ready, though many believe they are trapped here forever. More solid ghosts form in a similar way but are exposed to more ectoplasm, but rarely show up because natural portals to the infinite realms are sparse and in between. Well until about a decade ago.”

“Infinite Realms? Natural Portals?” Harry felt like his head was going to explode.

“Well, there should be some books about that in the muggle section.. Though some wizards would say it’s all garbage because muggles discovered and studied it. Just look up my name under the author and you should find some.”

“Oh… wait- did you write them? Is that why you know so much about ghosts?”

Professor Fenton barked out a loud laugh, doubling over as he clutched his sides, “Ah! No! No, I didn’t write them! My parents did!” He cackled. “Ah, yeah but I did learn from them. And a bit of field work. Tell Miss Granger to check them out too, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind having something to read. She reminds me of my sister in that way.” He stopped in front of the library doors, “Aha! I knew we would find this place eventually!”

Harry looked at Professor Fenton in bewilderment, “you didn’t know where we were going?!”

Fenton shook his head and shot him another grin, “nope! I’ve been constantly getting lost in these dumb halls. This place constantly moves and I absolutely hate it. Even the Infinite Realms make more sense than this castle!”

Harry stuttered, “If the infinite realms is where ghosts go, isn’t that like… the afterlife? You’ve been to the afterlife?”

Professor Fenton lazily shrugged and opened the doors to the library, “yes and no. It’s all complicated. I’ll tell you a different time.”

Harry stood there for a few more seconds as his brain tried to catch up with the information, and once he managed to close his mouth he chased after the Professor.

Harry glanced around the Professors room as he followed after him, arms filled with books that seemed to suspiciously be only about the Dark Arts. He’d never been to a professor's living quarters, at most he had been in some offices. Even so, it was not at all what he imagined a wizard's living quarters would look like.

First off, there seemed to be technology. He recognized a coffee machine on a low table, but it wasn’t plugged into anything. There was an odd box that looked like a slightly smaller television, it’s screen black and wires sticking out of it attached to a rectangular box with a lot of buttons on top of it and a small round device. There was also a radio, and a huge telescope leaning out the largest window. As Harry looked, he began to notice spaceships literally in every corner of the room. Different kinds as well, some would even move and blast off. The most amazing part was the roof of his room. It was almost exactly like the great hall as it rose into dark nothingness, but the stars were MUCH brighter and all the constellations had been traced out, some brighter than others. For someone who knew a lot about ghosts, he seemed to really like space. Then there were also some odd things thrown around, like a very weird looking thermos. Or a metal… boomerang?

“Just place them over here, Harry!” Fenton called as he dropped his pile of books onto a couch in the corner. Harry did as he was told, placing the books down a little more gently than the professor did.

“Professor… how did you get these things to work? Technology usually… explodes around magic,” Harry asked.

“Oh! Well it’s because I power them myself!” Professor Fenton chirped. “They don’t work the same way as regular technology. Again, I recommend checking out some of the notes in the Fentons books, they have a lot of stuff that works in the magical realm.”

“Why would you need it though? Doesn’t magic make up for a lot of technology?” Harry asked.

“Ah, but that’s where you are wrong you see! There is nothing in the magical world that is equivalent to the coffee machine!”

Harry blinked, “... what.”

“It’s a very important machine, Harry. You will depend greatly on it once you need to stay up for an entire week. But! It seems our time together has come to an end. Thanks for your help, Harry, and if McGonagall asks, tell her I made you scrub toilets or something,” he winked.

Harry grinned back, heading towards the doorway to go find Ron and Hermione. He closed the door behind and the moment it clicked shut, he saw a flash appear from under the door.

He paused slightly, but shrugged. Maybe a comet passed by on the enchanted roof of his room. He then headed down the halls to find his friends.

“Not normally invited?” Harry asked.

Hermione nodded, “Ghosts throw death day parties like birthday parties, but rarely do they ever invite living people!”

“I see, so Sir Nick really wanted us to be there,” Harry pondered as the trio entered the party area. He immediately was hit with an awful stench, nearly gagging before he had to swallow it as Sir Nicholas noticed their arrival and approached swiftly with the widest smile they had ever seen on his face.

“Harry! Ron! Hermione! You all made it! Oh this brings such joy to my cold, dead heart!”

“Glad to see you as well, Sir Nick,” Harry struggled not to gag on the smell.

“Say, why do ghosts even celebrate the day they died? Isn’t that… like a very traumatic experience you would rather not remember?” Ron somehow managed to ask.

“Well, ghosts like to celebrate it to commodirate a start to a new chapter of our afterlife!” He paused, glancing across the room for a split second, “most ghosts that is, and the death day isn’t to remind us of our death. It more serves to encourage us to look forward! No one really wants to remember how we died. Never a pretty picture.”

Harry followed Nicholas’s gaze for the split second glance, then noticed a ghost he had never seen before. He ignored the smell (they would have to ask about that later) and nudged Hermione, pointing at the ghost, “hey Hermione, have you ever seen that ghost around the castle before? I don’t remember seeing him from last year…”

The ghost in question seemed so much stranger than the rest, he had a brighter glow, where he should have had legs, merged into what seemed to be a ghostly tail, drifting lazily like caught in a breeze. Long hair whiter than snow itself drifted around like caught underwater, and bits that weren’t drifting were braided neatly and lost in the rest of it as it constantly moved. The ghost had purple skin, pointed ears, green freckles dotting his cheeks and long sharp fangs showing as he laughed at another ghost's joke. He dressed like a medieval lord, wearing a delicately detailed black and white tunic tucked into a braided belt circling his waist, his ghostly tail completely black. Thick white leather gloves covered both his hands as he waved them around while he spoke. A white cape hung off his shoulders, but when the cape occasionally drifted to show the inside, it was like the ghost had taken the night sky and attached it to the garment. Thick fur wrapped around his shoulders and long and sharp horns that looked like ice circled his head like a crown.

Toxic green eyes that had irises that seemed to swirl around the pupil glanced at the trio and Harry suddenly felt very very small.

“I… don’t know. I haven’t even heard of any ghost that looked like him before,” Hermione seemed like she was at a loss, probably scouting through her thoughts and memories for any trace or mention of the unfamiliar ghost.

Sir Nicholas cut in, “oh! That may be because King Phantom doesn’t live in this castle! He’s mainly only here to visit for the year!”

Ron gapped, “... did you say… king? Was he a king before he died?”

Sir Nicholas frowned, “no, of course not! He’s the king of all ghosts! King of the infinite realms! The one who defeated Pariah Dark in single combat barely a year after he died! The youngest and most beloved king we ghosts have had in such a very long time.”

“There’s a king of ghosts? And that’s him?” Harry asked.

“That’s what I just said, my dear boy. Keep up!”

“I don’t want to seem rude, Sir Nicholas but… why is he here?” Hermione gasped, “if he really is such a powerful and imposing figure, doesn’t he have a lot of duties to fulfil?”

“Well, he told us he was technically here on business but that it requires time and an investigation that could take a few months. So he could visit and celebrate with us from time to time! He’s a very relaxed man, I assure you. Here let me introduce you all to him! My Liege! I have some friends you absolutely must meet!”

The King looked over and smiled widely, “friends, you say?” His voice echoed more than the other ghosts, seeming to carry across the room as he spoke. He then blinked in surprise and turned to Nick, “Sir Nicholas… you realize these three are still amongst the living?”

“Why of course! Harry is the Boy Who Lived! The first to survive the death spell!” Sir Nicholas said quite proudly.

The King drifted down towards the three, causing Ron to slightly flinch at his approach, his hands clasped together as worry seemed to etch on his face, “well, most ghosts don’t have a very good sense of smell or taste, right? Which is why we have all the rotting food out?”

“Yes?” Sir Nicholas still didn’t seem to catch on.

King Phantom held out his hand, producing clothing hanger clips made purely of ice, “The living can still very much smell and taste, and I don’t think it’s exactly the smell of roses and lavender.”

Sir Nicholas blinked, “oh. Oh! Oh Harry and friends, I apologize for forgetting such a detail!”

Harry, Ron and Hermione all graciously accept the clips, pinning them on their noses to escape the horrid smell. Then Hermione turned towards the Ghost King with a glint in her eyes, “wait- how did you do that? Ghosts aren’t this solid- and they definitely can’t use magic!”

Phantom chuckled, drifting back into the air as he pointed to the crown of ice horns on his head, “Well first off, I’m the king so I get some bonuses. As well as not all ghosts work the same. You should try listening to that Dark Arts professor of yours when he talks about ghosts. He’s quite knowledgeable about all things not living.”

“But- but years of documentation and research-!” Hermione tried to argue before the King tutted.

“Information is constantly changing and growing, something that seems pretty constant could change in seconds and turn your whole world upside down. Not to mention, many different types of ghosts like myself only became more common recently. Before, most of us were confined to the infinite realms, only ghosts like Sir Nicholas forming for many centuries and the different kinds rarely slipped out.”

“Well-, what changed?” Hermione challenged.

King Phantom sported a playful grin, “I d̶͙͉̓̓i̷̢̩̬̘̟̽ę̴̘̲̹̤͌̊d̸̢̳̞̄.”

He then turned and left the three on that note as he went to join other ghosts at the party.

“What does he mean by that?” Hermione huffed.

“He’s got an odd sense of humour, that’s for sure,” Sir Nicholas laughed.

Harry couldn’t stop his glare that shot towards Professor Snape as he accused Harry of petrifying Mrs. Norris and writing the bloody message that stained the wall. Before he could snap back at him that he did not do any of this, Professor Fenton seemed to almost step out of thin air to his defense.

“Mr. Potter was with me all night, he did not do this,” his voice laced with a chilling venom. Was he… lying for him?

Snape tilted his chin up, attempting to look down on Fenton who was no longer hunched, and instead stood tall at his full height. It was quite difficult to do as it turned out, Fenton towered over every other Professor in the area. “And who, pray tell, are you?” Snape seemed to almost spit.

A sinister grin spread across the tall Professor's features as he stepped in front of Harry, leaning menacingly over the shorter wizard and blocking his view of the student, “Professor Fenton, the professor of the Dark Arts. Accusing a second year of such a powerful spell isn’t a very wise take, now is it Professor Snape?” Fenton basically spat his name.

Snape glared back, “you would be surprised what Potter is capable of, especially the trouble he gets himself in.”

“How about you try not pinning the blame on a 12 year old child?”

“That is enough out of both of you,” Dumbledore stepped in. “We all know Harry was not responsible for this, as Professor Fenton’s defence is true. We have a healthy patch of mandrake roots that will cure Mrs. Norris of her petrification, and students will resume their classes while the professors investigate the issue. Now you three will return to your dorms for the rest of the night.”

Harry hesitated before he headed back towards the dorms, but didn’t fail to notice how Professor Fenton’s eyes flashed toxic green, or the wink sent in his direction.

298 notes · View notes

dreamwritesimagines · 3 years

Text

Burn The Witch 15 - Liar Liar [Bucky Barnes x Reader]

A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful support and feedback my loves ! ❤ Here’s the next chapter, I hope you like it as well and please let me know what you think! ❤ Thank you! ❤❤❤

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings: Enemies to lovers, fake dating, mentions of blood, sex, violence, death, manipulation, language, guns, knives.

Summary: Dishonesty requires practice.

Series Masterlist

Every spy knew things could go downhill on a mission. Considering how your last mission had ended with your ex, you weren’t exactly unfamiliar with the idea of your cover being blown but—

None of the targets were as dangerous as this one.

For a moment, you thought about pushing that button on your wristwatch and calling your whole team here because there was no way you could take down the legendary Winter Soldier in a fight, but through the haze of panic, a voice in your head told you not to.

It was just a mission.

As long as you kept your calm, you could fix this.

“Bucky,” you heard yourself say, “I can explain.”

He stared at you and the gun in his hand, then raised his brows.

“Okay,” he said, “Yeah, please explain why you have a gun.”

God damn it.

Okay, you had to think. Your cover was the naïve sweet civilian girl so any sentence you formed had to fit the description. The spy in you was already trying to come up with something, you had been taught to lie without even blinking but somehow it felt almost—

Wrong.

You tried to pull yourself together, shaking your head.

“I—it’s—“ you took a deep breath, “Yeah I have a gun.”

“I can see that,” he said drily, “Why?”

Good question.

Why would the small town sweetheart have a gun?

The cover story didn’t have anything like that, so you had to come up with a believable lie based on—

Oh. Bingo.

“I was going to tell you,” you said. “I’ve actually—I’ve had it for weeks.”

“For weeks?” he repeated, “Why?”

You ran a hand over your eyes, then crossed your arms and shrugged.

“I’m going to need more than that, Y/N.”

You gritted your teeth and raised your glances to look up at him. “After I got mugged,” you started, “I told one of my friends back home about what happened and she’s—she came up with this idea that I should maybe buy a gun because I—I don’t know. I don’t know why I bought it, I just bought it.”

“You bought a gun because your friend told you to?”

You tilted your head, “No Bucky, I bought a gun because I got mugged and got shot within the first month of moving here.”

His gaze on you was fixed, as if he was trying to see whether you were lying or not but now that panic wasn’t taking over you, you could think straight.

Bucky was a legend among the espionage world and he was unstoppable and you probably didn’t stand a chance against him yes, but you had one advantage.

Bucky was a soldier, not a spy.

Spies were different. Bucky had the physical training to go after a target, but he never, ever had to manipulate them emotionally. You were one step ahead on that and if there was anything that could get you out of this mess, that was it.

“Listen I know that you’re concerned, but you have nothing to worry about,” you waved a dismissive hand, “The guy at the shop was very helpful, he even gave me his number—”

His head shot up, “What?”

“Yeah in case I needed anything with the gun. Or if I had any questions.”

A shadow crossed his eyes and he scoffed, shaking his head.

“Did he now?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, “And besides, I watched a bunch of tutorials so I think I got it. I’m a very quick learner.”

“Tutorials?”

“Yeah, videos.”

He blinked a couple of times, and looked down at the gun before looking up at you.

“You watched videos.”

“Mm hm. One of the guys even had a deer head mounted on the wall behind him, it’s very clear he knows what he’s talking about.”

“Jesus Christ,” he muttered to himself and you had to remind yourself not to smile.

“And I know how to take the safety off,” you added, “After that point it’s basically point and pull the trigger, that’s what the video said.”

“I don’t even know where to begin— sweetheart,” he turned to you, “Forget what the video said, I can teach you if you want, but for what it’s worth, I think it’s a terrible idea.”

Hook, line and sinker.

“I hate guns,” you insisted, “It’s just that—Stacey said it’s a big city and after I got shot… I don’t know. I know I should’ve told you, I just didn’t want you to think I’m some kind of a paranoid person.”

He heaved a sigh and reached out to tug you by the hand so that he could pull you closer.

“I don’t think you’re paranoid,” he said. “I just think that you could hurt yourself or someone if you don’t have any training.”

“The guy made it sound pretty easy.”

“Yeah, I don’t think selling it was the only thing he wanted.”

You rolled your eyes at him, “Now who’s being paranoid?”

“I’m just being observant.”

“Jealous.”

“I’m not jealous,” he said and you scrunched up your nose

“Right,” you said, “Of course you’re not.”

“So is there anything I should know about?” he changed the subject, “Anything at all? I won’t judge, I swear.”

You pressed your lips together as you looked up at him. What could you say to that?

I’ve been manipulating you all along.

I’m working for the same government that is looking for you to slip and make a mistake.

When this is over, I’m probably going to hate myself much more than you hate me.

Yeah. There was absolutely nothing you could say.

“Nothing I can think of right now,” you shrugged your shoulders, “So, can we go now?”

***

You could barely remember the last time you had been to a funfair. It didn’t even matter that you already knew where you were going, you were still quite excited despite the earlier panic you had gone through. Thankfully, Bucky seemed to have bought into your story but it didn’t mean you weren’t taking mental notes about what to do by the time the date was over.

Or when you were out of his sight, whichever.

“Thank you!” you said what it felt for the hundredth time as you put a piece of cotton candy into your mouth, enjoying the sweet taste melting in your mouth and Bucky smiled at you fondly.

“No problem darling.”

“No seriously, I haven’t been to a funfair in…I don’t know, forever!” you said, “Wait, so it was a thing back then?”

“Hm?”

“Bringing your date to a funfair?”

He nodded, walking beside you, “Yeah. There wasn’t much to do and you know, lots of people.”

“So no gossip?”

“Lots of gossip,” he corrected you, “But at least—“

“No one’s virtue got damaged.”

“You’re never going to let that go, are you?”

“Nope,” you grinned at him and gasped when something caught your eye, making him turn his head.

“What?”

“Oh my God!” you pointed at the huge neon sign and he followed your gaze, then scoffed a laughter.

“Seriously?”

“I want to try it.”

“Shoot The Ducks.” He read out loud, “You know what, let’s see how good you are if you watched that many videos.”

“I’m going to get that teddy bear,” you pointed at the biggest teddy bear sitting on the top shelf while he looked like he was fighting a laugh.

“Are you sure you can carry that?”

“You’re going to carry it for me,” you said as you handed him the cotton candy, your nose in the air and tugged him by the wrist to lead him to the shooting range. You took a look at the paper ducks with bullseye on them, then turned to the man behind the counter.

“Excuse me, how many of those should I shoot to get that?” you asked, motioning at the teddy bear and the man looked up.

“3 sets, all bullseye.”

“Okay,” you said and reached for your purse but Bucky had already paid the man by the time you could get your wallet out. He gave you the toy rifle and you had to remind yourself you were supposed to be terrible at it no matter how much you wanted that goddamn plushie.

The good thing about being an expert sniper was that you knew exactly how to miss and look like an amateur. So you pointed the rifle slightly to the right and took your shot, and as expected you missed.

“No!” you whined and Bucky stifled a chuckle, but adapted a look of seriousness as soon as you turned around to look at him with your eyes narrowed.

“I said nothing.”

“That was just bad luck,” you insisted, then took your shot again, deliberately missing once more. You lowered the rifle, pouting.

“I’m pretty sure this is rigged.”

“Or maybe the guy with the deer head on his wall had no idea what he was talking about,” Bucky pointed out, “Almost like watching videos isn’t enough to figure out how to shoot, wouldn’t you say?”

“I’m glad you’re enjoying this.”

“On the contrary, I am a little terrified now that I know you have a gun," he taunted you, “And seeing this…”

You glared at him and took your shot, missing again and you heaved a sigh, lowering the rifle again.

“Better luck next time miss,” the man said and you offered him a small smile. Bucky heaved a sigh as if he was fighting himself.

“Which one did you say you wanted again?” he asked and you pulled your brows together, then pointed at the huge teddy bear. He nodded at the guy and handed him some cash after giving you your cotton candy back, then grabbed the toy rifle from the man and in only a couple of seconds, he had hit every single bullseye, making your jaw drop.

Okay.

You were so screwed.

You knew that he was a great super soldier but seeing it was something else. A shiver ran down your spine as what you had read on his file flashed before your eyes. You were right earlier, you had to make sure to avoid any kind of combat with him by the time this whole mission was over.

“Y/N?”

Your head shot up and you tried to pull yourself together, letting out a breath.

“Wow,” you managed to say and the man behind the counter gawked between you two.

“Um— that one please?” you said and he blinked a couple of times, then reached out to take the teddy bear down to put it into your arms. You let out a small squeal of glee, then beamed at Bucky.

“Thank you!” you said, trying to keep your nervousness hidden and he smiled.

“No problem,” he motioned at you and you gave the teddy to him so that you could hold your cotton candy better. You shook your head slightly, distracting yourself with the sweetness on your tongue but a small laughter escaped from your lips when you took a look at the sight beside you.

The scary Winter Soldier holding a huge teddy bear in his arms.

“What?”

“Nothing,” you managed to say, “I’m going to name him Bucky.”

“No you’re not.”

“Fine, I’m going to name him Grumpy,” you said, “Same deal.”

“Hey!” he protested and you giggled, then looked around.

“Come on,” you said, grabbing his hand, “Let’s go to the Ring Toss!”

***

It was as if the time was going faster on your every single date with Bucky. Even after spending hours in that funfair until midnight, you were still quite giddy when you and Bucky reached your building. You let out a giggle as you turned around and took the huge teddy bear from him, hugging it tight.

“Thank you,” you said, looking up at him, “Really. I…I think it was the best that I’ve ever had.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah!” you said, “And now I have to find something equally amazing for a modern date, so no pressure.”

He chuckled, “You don’t have to find anything,” he said, “I’d be happy just being with you, not doing anything.”

Warmth filled your insides and you smiled.

“Really?”

“Really,” he nodded and you put the teddy bear down, then stood on your tiptoes to pull him down to a kiss.

His arm wrapped around your waist and you found yourself sighing as his other hand cupped your cheek. A fire – a very, very familiar fire started burning at the pit of your stomach as you felt yourself melt at his touch, every single doubt about the mission and the strategies and everything else wiping out of your mind until desire was the only thing left. He brushed your hair behind your ear as you pulled back and looked up at him, the same fire burning in his eyes but he was better than you at hiding it so a gentle smile pulled at his lips.

Fuck what the strategy report says.

“Um—“ you took a deep breath, “Would you want to come upstairs for...a cup of coffee or something?”

He looked almost surprised at the suggestion but for what it was worth, he overcame that quite fast. His gaze stopped on you for a moment before he nodded.

“Yeah,” he said, “Yeah I’d love to.”

A nervous laughter escaped from you and you nodded,

“Okay—“ you started but before you could say anything, his phone started ringing. He closed his eyes for a moment and took it out of his pocket to answer it.

“This is not a good time man,” he said, but his frown deepened as he listened to the other line, “Right now? Are you serious?”

You tilted your head and he heaved a deep sigh while the person told him something you couldn’t hear.

“Fine,” he muttered, “I’ll be there.”

Oh God damn it.

“Let me guess,” you said when he hung up, “Change of plans?”

He ran a hand over his eyes and nodded.

“Sam says there’s this group of people in need of help…” he grumbled, putting the phone into his pocket, “But somebody better be dying because if not, I can fix that really fast.”

You let out a laugh, “Don’t be like that,” you said, “It’s fine. I told you, I’m not going anywhere. Go save lives.”

“I’m really sorry darling.”

“It’s fine,” you repeated with a smile and pecked him on the lips before picking up the huge teddy bear. “But be careful, you hear me?”

“Yes ma’am,” he saluted and you blew him a kiss before walking into the building. You took the elevator, still holding the teddy tight and as soon as you got to your floor you stepped out.

“What the hell is that?” Keith’s voice reached you and you tilted your head to look around the teddy’s arm to see him by his door, as if he was just leaving.

“It’s a teddy bear,” you said, walking to your door to open it, Keith following you into the apartment.

“What’s in it?” he asked, “Weapons? Guns? Knives?”

“…Fiber.”

“Y/N—” he started but you put it on the floor and took a step back.

“Where are you going?”

“General gave me a mission,” he said, “You seriously want me to believe you just got a teddy bear just because?”

“I was on a date.”

“Oh,” he said, “Romantic. It would be a great way to hide weapons though, even you have to admit—”

“Bucky found my gun.”

Keith stopped talking and stared at you for a couple of seconds, “I beg your pardon?”

You rubbed at your eyes, “You heard me. He found my gun.”

“Why the hell did you not alert me?”

“There was no need.”

Keith threw his head back, “Are you serious right now?” he asked you, “This is the freaking Winter Soldier we’re talking about, you’re not supposed to take any chances! For God’s sake, I live next door for a reason!”

“My cover wasn’t blown,” you insisted, “If you or the team got here, all this would’ve been for nothing. I handled it.”

He crossed his arms, “Still an unnecessary risk to take,” he insisted, “Anything could’ve happened, Y/N. You’ve read his file.”

You nodded, “I handled it,” you said, “You should go by the way. You’re going to be late, the General hates that.”

“Do you want me to say anything to him?”

You thought for a moment and shook your head.

“No,” you said, “Good luck.”

“We will talk about this when I came back.” he pointed at you and left your apartment. You took a look at the teddy bear, then grabbed your phone to touch Chloe’s name.

“Hey there!” she answered on the first ring, “How was the funfair?”

“It was good,” you said, “Listen, I need you to make sure my background is solid.”

“What?” she asked, “It is, I made sure of that—“

“Bucky found my gun,” you said, “Earlier.”

She took in a sharp breath, “God damn it.”

“No it’s fine, I came up with this story of buying it from a shop after the mugging, but…”

“You need a document just in case,” she completed your sentence, “Got it. Do you think he would check?”

“No,” you said, “But Wilson might, he and Bucky are pretty close. It would be much harder to trick him.”

“Got it,” she said, “I’ll get the document ready, maybe some footage… And I’ll go over your social media just in case.”

“Great.”

“But are you okay?”

You paused only for a moment,

“Sure,” you said, “I’m fine, I handled it. It’s all going according to plan.”

“Alright,” she said, “I’d better get to it. Be careful!”

“You too,” you said and hung up, then went to the kitchen to grab a couple of knives before going back to the living room.

“Sorry about this Bucky number two,” you murmured as you turned it around, stuck the knife into it and started ripping it, “But you really would make a good place to hide weapons.”

Chapter 16

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #the falcon and the winter soldier #tfatws #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x you

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agent-whiskeys-sweetheart · 3 years

Text

Meant To Be (iii)

Pairing: Hotch x F!Reader

Summary: After meeting Garcia you make quick work of helping with the case, desperate to prove yourself to Hotch. Once the two of you help the team wrap everything up it’s time for them to return home. Which also means it’s time for you and Hotch to talk. One on one.

Warnings: Nothing in this chapter.

Word Count: 5,288

A/N: I wanna say I’m super happy you guys are enjoying this series cause honestly I’m having a lot of fun writing it! I love you all dearly. (If you’re just now finding this series, that’s perfectly alright! I’m glad you’re here! Feel free to catch up and enjoy the rest of the story. Here’s a link to Part 1 and Part 2 of Meant To Be.)

The elevator ride to the bottom floor of the building was quick, allowing you to make your way to Garcia’s office in a matter of minutes. There was a plaque up next to the door, indicating that you were in the right place. Taking a moment to steady yourself you exhale before knocking on the door. A voice on the other side tells you to come in so you do. Around you are dozens of impressive looking monitors, all of which are doing something different. On top of the long L-shaped desk there were several small trinkets and toys, bringing a sort of life into the dark room. The woman sitting in front of you spins around in her chair to look at you, a quick flash of confusion on her face. She looks extremely kind and everything about her appearance makes you want to smile.

“Hello. My name is Y/N L/N. Are you Penelope Garcia?”

“Yes, I am. What can I do for you?” Once you’re sure you’re in the right place you step forward to shake her hand. She stands so that you are both on the same level now, shifting awkwardly.

“Sorry to barge in like this. Everything has gone pretty fast this morning. I’m a new agent for the BAU. Today is my first day. The rest of the team just left on a case and SSA Hotchner asked me to stay behind and help from here.” Her face lights up with a bright smile.

“Oh, that’s awesome! It’s really nice to meet you! Please come in, sit down. Make yourself comfortable.” With this, she pulls another chair up to the desk and then sits back down in her own. “I didn’t actually know we had any new agents joining us. That being said, welcome! I’m almost always here by myself so the company will be nice. You and I can get to know each other.” You nod with a smile, watching her as she continues what she was doing. There are several different tabs open across the screens with loads of information that she seems to be compiling. When she sees your incredulous face she laughs.

“I know, it’s a lot. I’m just trying to get as much preliminary information as I can to send to the team. That’s what you’ll be helping me with. We collect research, data, important records. Anything they need to find out, we provide. Kind of cool, right?” Remaining silent, you nod. Upon seeing this, Garcia stops typing for a moment. “I know it may not seem as exciting as field work but it’s still very important. Don’t worry, I’ll make it fun. I promise you won’t be bored.” Patting your knee, she continues typing and you watch carefully now. This is where you will be until the case is over so you intend to make the absolute best of it. Everyone on the team has their own special skills and now is the time to learn from Garcia.

“So what exactly are you looking for right now?”

“I am compiling a list of the victim’s friends and family, plus witnesses from the robberies who might be able to give us any information. This will give the others a clear list of where to go first. I’m also seeing what I can find about the people who were at the banks on the days of the robberies in case there’s anything useful they need to know. Financial troubles, criminal records, anything to possibly link the witnesses to one another.” Scooting your chair forward so you can see better, you lean an elbow on the desk.

“What can I help with?” You ask hopefully.

“Oh, I think that was the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard. I can’t even count on one hand how many times I’ve had someone down here and all they do is sit and look over my shoulder. Sorry, rambling. I can get you logged into a monitor here and it looks like the next thing on my list was looking into the victim’s workplace. Sound good?”

“Yes, absolutely.” She moves over quickly and gets a separate monitor opened so you can begin researching.

“We’ll probably do what research we can in the next twenty to thirty minutes and then we’ll call the team to tell them what we’ve found out.” With that, you make quick work of doing everything you can in the time you have. Even if it is the last thing you ever do, you will prove to Aaron Hotchner just how valuable a team member you are.

++++++++++

The jet takes off fairly soon once the team is onboard. They all stow their go-bags and begin settling in for the flight. It is going to be a longer one today so they are all preparing themselves for the journey. Aaron finds a seat near a far window where he sets the case file down in front of himself and begins reading. His mind is swimming with thoughts and he will do anything to quiet them. The scene plays out over and over in his head, the memory still painfully fresh. Why had he said those things? He was unnecessarily harsh and he is fully aware of this. Now the first memory you’ll have of starting your dream job will be your new boss treating you appallingly. What had even compelled him to speak to you that way? Seeing you had overwhelmed him. The way you looked when you came into his office for the first time. The way your hair framed your face, the light hopefulness in your eyes, the way you captivated him with your movements. Standing there, just feet away from him, you had looked just as beautiful as the first day he met you. God, why did he lie like that? How could he have said he didn’t recognize you when you had stayed in his thoughts more times than he would like to admit over the past year? All the emotions he felt at the mere thought of you made him nauseous and he had no way of understanding them. As badly as he felt for it, he knew that for the time being it would be best to let you work from the BAU headquarters.

“Hotch, are you okay?” JJ’s voice brings him quickly back to reality. The fact that she could see how deeply in thought he was makes him feel an odd sense of shame and he straightens in his seat.

“Of course, I’m fine.” With this, she goes back to her own seat. With a huff of exhaustion, Hotch continues reading. The cabin is silent for a time as the other team members sit reading their case files.

“So,” Morgan’s voice breaks the quiet. “What do we think of Y/N?” The mention of your name causes Hotch to perk up against his will.

“Well, I like her.” Emily is the first to chime in. “I know you guys all got to meet her before me but there’s just something about her. An inherent sweetness. I’m really excited to work with her.”

“Me, too,” JJ says next. “I thought she was kind and open. In this job, that kind of personality is hard to find. I just hope the things she sees doesn’t cause her to lose that. The world needs more kind people, not less. She seems tough though. I think she can handle it.”

“I totally agree,” Morgan adds, leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed. “She’s got a little bit of fierceness in her but I like that. You’ve gotta be tough to do this job but she’s also sweet. That’s important too. Plus, that kid’s got the cutest smile. Kind of reminds me of my sisters.” At the mention of your smile, Hotch closes his eyes briefly trying to picture that smile directed at him. He quickly catches himself and looks back down at the file.

“Well, I can’t say I know her that well yet but she seems intelligent. She certainly has eagerness to learn. I think that will help her be successful. It’s very ... refreshing.” Spencer says with a small smile.

“I agree. Right off the bat she’s got a very likable energy,” Rossi begins letting himself trail off for a moment. “Although, I have to say there is something about her that is so familiar. I can’t quite place how I might know her though. Her name too, I recognize it. For a second I thought she recognized me too but I can’t be sure.” The rest of the team watches him for a moment as he tries to recollect how he knows you but he quickly comes up blank. “I’m sure I’ll think of it eventually. Nevertheless she seems like a good kid. I’m excited to see her at work. Just a shame we’ll all have to wait.”

Hearing this Aaron shifts in his seat, knowing that the comment is directed at him since he was the one that made you stay behind. He is suddenly very aware of the other team members looking at him.

“Yeah, Hotch. Why isn’t she here? I thought for sure you’d wanna see what she can do.” Derek locks eyes with Aaron, causing him to debate how to answer the question. All his life Hotch has worked to control his feelings and the way that they manifest so his face remains expressionless as he thinks for a short second.

“I think that for right now her time would be better spent helping Garcia and getting used to her new environment. I agree that she does seem very intelligent and more than capable. I would just like to speak with her one on one first before thrusting her into the high intensity atmosphere that comes with our line of work.” However, this answer doesn’t seem to satisfy Morgan’s curiosity.

“She told me when she came out of your office that you said you didn’t remember her. Is that true?” This continued line of questioning makes his blood begin to boil. Aaron Hotchner of all people knows that lies are what cause the foundations of trust to crumble. If he can’t be honest with himself, how can he expect to be honest with his team? And yet, he finds himself unable to expose his own misdeed.

“Yes, that is correct. We’ve had a lot of cases come and go in the last few years and no one should be expected to remember every interaction they have in that length of time. According to her it was only one day and it was a long time ago at that. I apologized to her and she understood. That is the end of it.”

“Look, I’m not passing judgement Hotch. I’m just saying I can understand why she was so hurt,” Hearing this causes his heart to clench. “She looks up to you. She didn’t even have to tell me that, I could just see it. You mentored her in a time that was very uncertain, when she had a lot to prove. She still has a lot to prove and I’m sure she thought that you would have her back and the first thing you tell her is that you don’t even remember who she is? I get it man, you’re under a lot of stress right now but she’s a part of your team. I just thought you of all people would be a little more sensitive than that.”

His words cut right through Aaron’s heart like a knife but before he has a chance to say anything the laptop screen in the center of the cabin lights up, revealing you and Garcia. Glad for a break from the tension the rest of the team members look toward the screen. With one last glance at Morgan, Hotch leans towards him. “We will discuss this later.” His voice is firm and dangerous but he pulls away to look at the laptop. “What did you find?” He directs at the two of you.

Seeing him causes you to straighten in your seat as you ready yourself to put on your most professional face. Garcia begins telling everyone what she was able to find out about the victim. She has significantly more information than you do but once she’s done she allows you to share what you found. The victim worked at a local grocery store but he had been previously employed at the bank where the robbery took place. The team begin building a rough profile based on the information. You listen closely to their analysis of the unsubs, making mental notes on what you might add to the profile. Before you have a chance to add anything, Hotch thanks the two of you for your work and hangs up. For a moment, you could swear you saw a hint of sadness when he looked at you but you were sure it was just a glitch on the screen.

“Sorry sweetpea. I could totally tell you wanted to add something. They can be pretty abrupt like that sometimes.” You simply give a small shrug. “Well, why don’t you tell me what it was? It’ll give you a little practice for building profiles.” She scoots to the edge of her chair, looking at you intently to which you give a small laugh.

“Well, as we know all of the unsubs are large burly men. The five of them could easily subdue the few weaker people that were present at each of the robberies and yet they chose to bring guns. I believe this shows that they feel a certain sense of inadequacy in their everyday lives. Despite their masculine appearance I would suspect they all have mediocre jobs where they are looked down upon or treated poorly. It’s possible that they all work at the same place but I would imagine they probably met somewhere else. Maybe a support group of some sort. The use of weapons gives them a sense of power over the victims that helps them live out their mass fantasy. The victim of the last crime scene was shot in the head which indicates some personal relationship between him and the unsub who pulled the trigger. That could be a good place to start.”

“Well, it definitely makes sense to me. Maybe we can start looking in to possible support groups for these type of men. Oh, and anyone that might possibly have had reason to kill our victim.” Garcia immediately begins typing and you scoot closer to her side.

“Shouldn’t we wait for the order from Hotch?” She laughs at this.

“Trust me, sweetheart. At the end of the day he’s gonna thank us for the head start. One thing to know about the boss man. He likes to see initiative but he also wants you to follow his exact orders. It’s a fine balance but once you figure out how to work the line, he’s gonna love you for it.” The thought of Hotch loving you for anything at all in the world makes your heart flutter. Almost instantly you stop that train of thought and berate yourself for even entertaining it.

“Well, I guess we better get started then.” The rest of the day goes smoothly. You and Garcia coordinate everything beautifully, finding a good amount of information that you save to send to Hotch at the most convenient time. The day seems to be over almost as quickly as it began and you thank Garcia before heading out to your car. The drive home seems to be much more monotonous than before. It seems like you’re back inside your apartment and stretched out on the couch before you can hardly blink. Rolling over, you reach for your phone which you had thrown on the coffee table. With a groan, you begin dialing your sister’s number. As much as today sucked there was no one in the world you’d rather vent to than your sister.

“Well hey there babe. I’ve been patiently awaiting your call. Give me just a minute to get sat down. I want to hear every last detail.” There are sounds of shuffling on the other side of the phone as she finds a seat. “Okay, I’m all good. Now, tell me about your first day at the BAU! Was it everything you dreamed it would be?”

“Yeah, not exactly,” You laugh. “It was kind of rough to be honest.” There is a moment of silence as you think how to begin.

“Okay. Start at the beginning, walk me through it.”

“Alright. Well, I got inside and I was honestly just in awe of being there, just getting to stand in that room. It felt like I was invincible. Derek Morgan was the first one to talk to me. He was just as charming as I remembered. Anyway, he introduced me to the rest of the team and we got to talk for a bit which was really nice, you know? From the get go I really felt like part of the team.”

“Now you know I hate to interrupt but all of this sounds great!”

“Yeah, well, that was the best part of the day and it didn’t last very long. After I met everyone I went up to Aaron Hotchner’s office to give him my paperwork. I’m sure you know by now that I was pretty excited to see him again, right? Well, when I told him how excited I was to be working with him again he told me that he didn’t actually know who I was. He completely forgot about me. I mean, I guess I get it. It’s been a year and a half and he meets a lot of people. Why would he remember me specifically?”

“Y/N, don’t invalidate your own feelings. What he said upset you and it’s okay to be hurt. That would have hurt my feelings too. You’re a really great person and he sucks for not thinking about you ever since he met you.” Hearing this, you can’t help but laugh a bit. Her ability to defend you no matter what always cheers you up.

“Thank you. I appreciate that. I just wish he thought the same. Anyway, I gave him my paperwork so I could travel with the team. They got a case this morning and I was planning to go with them but for some reason Hotch made me stay behind even though I am cleared to be in the field. It just really bummed me out because I was super ready to get out there and start working but I got benched for my very first case. He had me stay with this girl named Garcia, she’s the team’s technical analyst. I mean, she’s really sweet and we worked super well together but I just wish I could have been out there doing the things that I spent seven years of my life training for.”

“I am so sorry. That sucks. I know how excited you were. Look at the bright side, this is only your first case. You’ll have plenty of opportunities to get out there and prove yourself. It’s all gonna work out.” Unable to keep from smiling, you roll over on your side.

“Thanks. I really hope you’re right.” Sensing the fact that you’re still upset she decides to help by changing the subject.

“So, who all did you meet today? I know you already knew a few of the team members but was there anybody new?”

“Yeah, Elle and Gideon are no longer there. I’m really sad I missed getting to work with them but the people I met seem really amazing. The first girl I met was named Emily Prentiss. She was really nice. The other was a guy named David Rossi.” When you finish your sentence there is nothing but silence on the other end of the phone. You wait a minute for your sister’s response but there is nothing. Before you can ask what’s wrong she chimes in again.

“Did you say David Rossi?” There is a tone in her voice that you don’t recognize and it causes concern to stir in your stomach.

“Yeah, why? What’s up?” There is another moment of silence.

“It’s -- it’s nothing. I shouldn’t bring it up. You’ve already had a rough day.” As if she can sense your anxiety she continues. “Don’t worry, it’s nothing bad. I promise I’ll tell you later, okay? I just don’t think we should talk about it right now, that’s all.” As much as you want to pry you can tell that no matter how much you ask, you’re not getting the answer out of her. With a sense of unease you agree and try changing the conversation again. Once you’ve changed the topic to something other than work you can feel her ease again and the two of you talk for nearly 45 minutes. After a while you decide to call it a night and shortly afterwards you find yourself in bed. You hadn’t even realized how exhausted you were until your head hit the pillow. Your sleep is dreamless which you decide in the morning is probably a good thing.

++++++++++

The remainder of the case is spent hunkered down in Garcia’s office either doing frantic research or simply getting to know one another. In just a short while the two of you become very fast friends. You realize quickly that you share a lot of common interests and all of your conversations are endlessly fascinating. It also doesn’t take you very long to realize that you actually enjoy the work that you do with her. There is quite a bit of skill required to dig as deeply and accurately as the two of you do. It is a race against the clock to find everything you need in order to help the team and there is a certain level of excitement that comes with that. Of course you still wish you were out in the field but in the end you learn a lot and make a good friend along the way. The case ends rather succinctly with all five unsubs found and arrested with no more casualties along the way. It’s a good feeling, knowing that you helped to catch the bad guys and no one had to die for you to do so. The day the team is set to return you and Garcia head out for coffee before they show up, figuring that you deserve a little treat after all of your hard work. You make light conversation as you make your way back into the building just in time for the team to arrive. You watch them each make their way to their desks, setting down their bags and taking a moment to rest. Of course the last one to walk in is Hotch who heads straight up to his office, shutting the door behind him.

When you feel like it’s an appropriate time you make your way over to Morgan’s desk. Upon seeing you his lips crack into a wide smile.

“Well hey sweetheart! I have to say, you did awesome work on this case.” As he says this, he extends his hand for a high five which you quickly grant him. “I know it wasn’t easy having to sit out but you did great. I’m proud of you.” It takes everything in you not to blush.

“Thanks. I learned a lot and I made a good friend along the way.”

“Yeah, Garcia’s pretty great isn’t she?” He says with a knowing smile.

“She definitely is. She talks about you a lot, you know.”

“Oh, I know. Baby girl just can’t stop thinking about me. Not that I blame her, of course.” At this you lightly punch his arm.

“You are both such teases.” This makes Morgan laugh.

“We gotta keep things interesting.” He leans forward as though he’s about to start his paperwork but he quickly leans back to look at you. “Hey, now that I’m back we gotta go out for drinks tonight. Everyone else is already game so long as you are.”

“Yeah, I’d like that.” You confirm with a grin.

“Great. You know, I’d say I’m buying but I kind of feel like you owe me.” Your brow furrows in confusion.

“What do you mean by that?”

“Well, I was trying to get some answers for you so I asked Hotch why he wouldn’t let you on the case and he royally chewed me out for it. In his defense I probably shouldn’t have asked in front of the rest of the team but that decision still just doesn’t sit right with me.” Morgan’s words mingle in your head. It doesn’t sit right with you either but it isn’t really your place to question your boss’ orders.

“I’m sorry he got upset with you. I do appreciate you defending me though. You’re my knight in shining denim.”

“Anytime kid. I’m happy to help.” Getting to talk to Morgan has almost instantly lifted your spirits. However, it doesn’t take long for your heart to drop into your stomach.

“Agent L/N. May I speak to you in my office please?” You hadn’t even noticed that Hotch had come out of his office until his voice drew your attention to him. With a quick look at Morgan, who gives you a reassuring glance, you push yourself off his desk and make your way over to where Hotch is standing. Once you’re at his side he extends a hand, allowing you to step inside first. He follows quickly, shutting the door behind him. “Please, have a seat.” He says, gesturing towards a leather couch on the far wall. As you begin to sit on one end he takes up residence on the other, his knee just inches away from yours. Once you’re both settled he focuses all of his attention on you. He doesn’t seem angry but you aren’t holding your breath. It’s best to just stay professional and speak with him earnestly.

“I’m glad to see you all back safely sir.” You begin. After the stress of the case, you want to make sure he knows that as hurt as you were by his previous decision you harbor no ill will towards him.

“Thank you. It’s not very often that cases end as well as this one did. You understand that, don’t you? This was a special circumstance.”

“Yes, I realize that. I’m just grateful that it did end happily even if it was just this once.” There is an intensity in the way he watches you.

“Good. I just want to make sure you fully know what to expect.”

“I do sir. I did the day that I applied for school. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.” Staying silent for a moment he nods as if in thought.

“I know before I left I said we would be able to talk. I’d like to learn a little bit more about you and from there I’ll be able to evaluate your abilities before taking you into the field. I know it wasn’t the decision you were hoping for but I hope you understand it nonetheless.”

“Of course. It’s not my place to question you and in the end I learned a lot from Garcia. Plus she was nice to work with.”

“Good. I’m very glad to hear that you were able to make the most of the situation.” He stops for a moment, his gaze relaxing. “I wanted to tell you how well you did on this case. A challenge was presented to you and you handled it with grace. The information you provided was incredibly helpful and your suggestions were very well thought out. I was very impressed.” The softness in his eyes as he praises you leaves a fluttering sensation in your stomach. Throughout the entirety of the case you had been so hell bent on proving yourself to him and hearing him say that you had done well made every hour of hard work worth it. As much as your heart is singing you have to remind yourself to be calm. Even though he is being kind to you now, he had made his feelings known to you during your first meeting. There is no reason to read into things. Clearly he doesn’t feel what you feel.

“Thank you sir. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed when I was left behind but I realized that I’m grateful to be here no matter what. I worked really hard to get here, to be doing this kind of work, and not everyone gets the chance to do what they’re truly meant to be doing. As heartbreaking as the outcome of this job usually is, I can’t imagine myself doing anything else.” With every word the two of you are locked into one another’s eyes. For a moment you can almost swear he is holding his breath.

“I appreciate that sense of purpose. I will always support my team but it makes it easier with members who are invested.”

“I am. Completely. I’m here. I know you haven’t gotten a real chance to see me work but please know that my heart is in this.”

“That was never in question,” Hotch pauses, letting his eyes fall to his lap as he considers his next sentence. “I believe now that I made a rash decision in asking you to stay behind. I can see that you are mentally prepared to be in the field. I apologize for my harsh words. I of course can’t say anything for your physical performance yet but I won’t be able to evaluate the full extent of your abilities until I am able to watch you in the field. On the next case I would like you to join the rest of the team.” A breath of relief leaves your lips.

“Of course. I’m ready to get to work.”

“I know. You’ll have the chance soon enough. In the meantime, if you have any questions or concerns feel free to come speak with me.”

“Thank you sir.” Hotch simply nods in response, beginning to stand. You follow his actions, gathering that he is done with the conversation. As you make your way to the door, feeling much lighter than when you came in, he stops you.

“Agent L/N,” The sound of his voice causes you to turn back. “I just wanted to say again that I’m sorry for not remembering you. I never meant to hurt you. It isn’t that you were forgettable. It’s just that a lot has happened in the last year.” This apology seems much more heartfelt than before and you try to hide a smile.

“I forgive you, sir.” With that you take your leave, making your way right back to Morgan’s desk. The shift in your mood must be palpable because he looks up at you with a smile.

“That’s not the face of someone that just got yelled at by Hotch.”

“No, no he didn’t yell at me. He was just telling me I did a good job and he cleared me to work in the field on the next case.”

“Good for you, kid. I’m glad we’re finally gonna get a chance to see what you can really do,” Nodding you rest against the edge of his desk again. “Now, see? That wasn’t too bad was it?” Looking back towards Hotch’s office you can see him bent over his desk, filling out paperwork. Being able to watch him for a moment without fear of falling apart allows you to crack a small smile.

“No. I guess it wasn’t.”

Tags: @talesfromtheguild @lannister-slings-and-arrows @gryffindorwriter @nopeforyou @sheerfreesia007 @roxypeanut @ohpedromypedro @ssahotchie @ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa @readsalot73 @the-mechanical-angel @races-erster @maxlordd @pascalisthepunkest @paintballkid711 @hotchafterhours @h0tchner @ssahotchswife @ssahotchhner @technotic-prophecy @klinenovakwinchester @hotch-stufff @annadorothxa @canadailluminate @yoshigguk @gothicxbarbie @romanogersendgame

173 notes · View notes

edendaphne · 3 years

Text

“Discordant Sonata” Chapter 18

>>Click here to read on Ao3<<

>>Click here to read on Wattpad<<

——-

CHAPTER 18: AFFETUOSO

Music glossary:

Affetuoso: to perform with passion and emotion

**Chapter illustration by @corgi-likes-chat **

----

(Mood Music: “Christofori’s Dream” - David Lanz)

Adrien’s eyelids fluttered open, a sleepy smile still present on his face. He breathed out a long, contented sigh, stretching his limbs out wide enough that they poked out of the bedcovers. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept so well.

Last night, after Marinette awoke him from his most harrowing night terror to date, he’d fallen back asleep and something remarkable happened: for the second time in years, he’d actually had a pleasant dream. The only other time he hadn’t suffered from his usual nightmares ever since becoming Chat Noir was on the first night that he’d arrived at the Dupain-Cheng residence.

He tried to think back, wondering what might have caused this, not just last night, but back on that first day Marinette had brought him home. What did these two occurrences have in common?

His mouth quirked to the side and his brow furrowed, deep in thought, trying to remember. He wasn’t exactly in the best frame of mind when he’d arrived a couple of months back, given all that had happened when he ran away from his father; so it was no surprise that his memory of that night was hazy at best. Nevertheless, he hoped to find a correlation; if there was one, maybe he could figure out how to repeat it.

His thoughts were interrupted by a gentle hand sliding across his midsection. Disturbed by his movements, a smaller body rolled toward him, settling comfortably on his chest and breathing out a drowsy sigh.

He looked down and there she was: sweet, lovely Marinette; one of the dearest and most important people in his life. The raven-haired girl stirred, letting out a small whine; Adrien stilled, subconsciously holding his breath, not wanting to wake her and accidentally reveal his identity.

This became much harder when she reached around him, her fingers lightly skimming across his rib cage. His muscles tensed and he bit back a laugh; why did he have to be so darn ticklish?!

He readjusted himself, trying to shuffle out from underneath her; but she clinged to him like an overgrown barnacle, even in her unconscious state. I guess she’s a cuddler, he thought, and he couldn’t help but smile about how well that suited her.

It was still pretty dark in the room, as the sun hadn’t risen yet. He glanced over at the wall clock; he still had about an hour and a half before he had to report to work at the bakery, so he didn’t have to rush to get ready. Relieved, he sagged back down onto his pillow. He could relax for a little longer, he supposed.

Deciding to check his notifications while Marinette slept, he gingerly reached towards his nightstand to grab his phone, careful not to disturb her. He’d deactivated all his social media accounts since running away from home, so there weren’t very many notifications; there was a school-related email and a couple of late night funny memes from Nino.

Adrien checked the Ladyblog next. No news about any akumas this morning, thankfully. However, there were a few blurry snapshots of the previous night’s attack. He scrolled down for a bit, then stopped, his eyes popping open as he focused his attention on a particular photo.

He couldn’t suppress the lovestruck sigh that escaped his lips when he stared at a picture of Ladybug. His Lady was breathtaking, her eyes so ethereal, her smile utterly resplendent. She was indescribably beautiful, both inside and out and there was absolutely nothing he would change about her. He was hopelessly smitten, no doubt about it.

A few months ago, he would have berated himself for feeling this way about his mortal enemy. But his entire life had been turned upside down since then, and he wholeheartedly embraced this unexpected development.

The next photo was taken after the akuma was purified and the Miraculous Cure had set everything back to where it should be. Ladybug had seen that Alya was about to snap a photo, so she grabbed Chat and turned him around to face the camera, wrapping her arm around his shoulders. She grinned widely, and did a peace sign with her free hand. So cute.

He glanced over to his own face and instinctively grimaced. He was winking at the camera with a goofy, cheerful salute, not bothering to channel the suave, sophisticated mannerisms of a proper model that he’d incurred over the years. God, I’m so cringy, he thought.

Nevertheless, he saved the picture onto his phone. It was the first photo of them together like this, as opposed to impersonal ones taken by the media from afar, or during press releases and interviews.

It had only been posted a few hours ago, but already it had thousands of likes and comments. He didn’t dare look through those, however. Not since he first discovered the kinds of things people wrote about Chat Noir, both before and after his change in alliances. It was better to avoid those, lest he ruin his day reading about how much some people still hated him.

But he remembered Marinette’s words from the night before. She was right; he had to have hope, and believe that things would slowly get better. Attitude was everything.

Speaking of Marinette…

He looked down at his roommate once again. By this point, she’d slinked and climbed almost entirely on top of him, utilizing him like a mattress. His eyebrows scrunched together, and he wondered how in the world he’d be able to slip out of bed undetected.

All the stealth-based videogames I’ve ever played have prepared me for this moment. I got this!! he thought, hyping himself up.

Taking a deep breath in, he rolled over to his side, managing to slide Marinette’s ragdoll-like form back onto the mattress. She made a small noise and he froze, electricity crawling up the back of his neck. A few tense moments passed, and her stirring subsided, her breathing becoming slow and even once again. He exhaled, just now realizing he’d been holding his breath.

Freedom!! Adrien celebrated as he stood, stretching his arms high over his head, taking care not to hit the ceiling lights. His skin felt grimy with dried sweat from the night before; a shower was exactly what he needed right now. He tiptoed over to get a change of clothes from the dresser, giving the occasional glance towards the bed to make sure Marinette was still asleep.

As he made his way to the bathroom, he stopped by her side, a warm smile spreading across his face. He bent over and gave the top of her head a small kiss. Where would he be without her and her family? She and Sabine especially went out of their way to help him feel at home, to make him feel like he belonged, instead of treating him like a nuisance, or like some freeloader just taking up space. He loved them all so much; he vowed to himself to make it up to them someday.

He pulled the bedcovers up to Marinette’s shoulders so she wouldn’t miss the extra warmth too much, then made his way to the bathroom to start the day.

Marinette stirred, enveloped in softness and a familiar scent of spice and fresh rain. Eyes still closed, she extended her arm, reaching for the oversized cat pillow on her bed that she always liked to cuddle.

Her searching hand found something soft. Aha! She brought it closer, snuggling it tight, then began to get comfortable again. But then, her pillow started poking her cheek, over and over and over. The pillow’s poking only intensified when she tried squeezing it even harder. How rude!

Wait... what?

A single eyelid groggily slid open, meeting a small pair of eyes of a distinctive shade of green. A rather frazzled-looking Plagg stared back, his expression unamused from being squished between her and the pillow she was hugging.

“Sorry, Plagg,” she slurred sleepily as she pulled away to give him some space. “What are you doing here?”

He crossed his little arms, raising a brow. “I live here, remember?”

“But why are you in my room–– oh, wait…” she stopped, the memory of last night starting to rush back to her. This wasn’t her room; it was Chat’s. She’d slept in his room last night. And the bed she was lying in was his bed. These were his blankets and pillows, and they carried his scent. Heat rose to her face and a multitude of imaginary butterflies swarmed in her stomach as she realized that she’d actually spent the night with him, albeit under less than ideal circumstances.

And then a second realization dawned on her: Chat Noir was gone.

She sat up with a start, her head whipping back and forth to search for him. As she was about to panic, she heard the shower running in the en suite bathroom, punctuated by some cheerful humming. With a heavy, relieved sigh, she laid back down, careful not to squish the tiny cat god next to her.

“By the way, Little Bug,” Plagg murmured, meekly rubbing the back of his head. “Thanks for helping my kid last night.”

“Oh, of course, Plagg!” she replied. “I’m always happy to help however I can.”

He gave her a melancholy smile. “I just wish there was more I could’ve done. I tried waking him up myself, but he couldn’t hear me at all, no matter how hard I tried.” He sighed, twisting his mouth into a pained frown. “He doesn’t deserve this. He's already gone through so much.”

“Plagg, no, it’s okay! You did your best, and I’m sure Chat knows that too. I’m just glad I was able to get through to him. It was lucky that I happened to be downstairs at that time. Chat couldn’t ask for a better friend than you.”

Plagg grinned widely at her. “I always knew I liked you,” he remarked, scooting closer and nuzzling into her.

Marinette smiled back, returning the hug and kissing the top of his head, followed by providing him with some gentle scratches behind the ears. He let out a small, contented purr as he leaned into her hand.

After a few moments of hesitation, Plagg spoke again, “Little Bug, there’s... something else you need to know.”

They pulled apart, and Marinette eyed him with trepidation. “What is it?”

“It was too dark, so you didn’t see it, but–” he said with a grim tone in his voice, “–I need to let you know what really happened last night.”

“Huh?” Marinette’s eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. “What do you mean? I know he said his night terrors aren’t usually this bad, but was there something else?”

A dark look flickered on Plagg’s face. “Hawkmoth tried to akumatize him last night.”

Marinette felt like she’d been dropped into a vat of ice water. “W- WHAT?!” she sputtered. “B-but how is that possible?! Akumatized?? He was asleep! Hawkmoth can’t akumatize people who are unconscious!!” She paused, pondering the possibility. “Right…?”

“It’s tricky, but not impossible,” Plagg replied. “Hawkmoth knows about Chat Noir’s nightmares, so he must’ve sensed his opportunity and finally taken it last night.”

Marinette brought a hand to her temple in disbelief.

Plagg continued, “I don’t know why he decided to try it now, instead of when he first ran away. And what if–” he gulped, and his voice quavered slightly as he continued, unable to conceal his fear, “What if he tries it again? What if he tries it every night?”

“No… he wouldn’t… he can’t!!” Marinette cried, staring at the bathroom door, her mind racing a million miles a minute. She clenched her fists as she tried not to give into the feelings of dismay and anxiety that were clawing away at her. “Plagg… What do we do?! Hawkmoth’s patterns seem to be getting more erratic and desperate recently. Is he under some kind of deadline? Why is he doing this??”

“I can think of a couple of reasons,” Tikki answered from across the room.

Marinette practically leaped off the bed in surprise due to Tikki’s abrupt entrance. “Tikki!” she exclaimed.

The brightly colored kwami hovered towards them and elaborated, “Firstly, as Chat grows older, his powers will continue to get stronger, as will yours, so you’ll be more difficult for Hawkmoth to defeat as time goes on. Secondly, I think the effects of misusing the butterfly miraculous must be catching up to him as well. His desperation suggests that maybe he thinks he’s running out of time.”

“Out of time? What do you mean?” Marinette asked, confused.

Plagg sighed. “It’s his health,” he answered. "He wasn’t doing very well even before we left. Slowly but steadily, it’s been getting worse for a while.” He turned to face Tikki. “You think Hawkmoth believes that he’s gonna… you know... soon?”

Tikki shrugged in response, her expression blank.

“Oh… I see,” Marinette said, her voice almost a whisper.

Her mind raced, a torrent of emotions crashing into her simultaneously, like a rowboat in a tempest, slamming into a cliffside without respite.

She wasn’t sure how to feel about this new information. Her chest felt tight, like it did when she wanted to cry. Should she feel happy or sad that her mortal enemy was getting sicker and sicker, to the point where his life was potentially in danger? Was it okay to feel–dare she say it– relieved?

What was she supposed to think? As a hero, was it more important to be merciful, or was it more important to be just? Her heart felt like it was being pulled in two completely opposite directions. Despite hating the man with every fiber of her being, part of her thought that maybe dying was too extreme a punishment. And yet, at the same time, the hurt, embittered part of herself thought that maybe dying would be too easy, like he was getting let off the hook instead of being forced to acknowledge his wrongs and feel remorse for the horrible things he’d done.

For years, she’d dreamed about the day when Hawkmoth would be defeated and his miraculous confiscated. It was supposed to be a happy time, full of rejoicing and excitement. But she’d never considered the possibility that Hawkmoth would be defeated by an entirely different force, one that she had no say in how or when it happened. It didn’t feel fair. She hated feeling this powerless.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a brief tug at her sleeve. She looked down at Tikki, who motioned towards the bathroom with a small nod. It was then that she noticed the noise–or rather– the absence of it, which could only mean one thing: Chat Noir had finished his shower, and he’d be coming out of the bathroom any minute now.

“I think that’s our cue to leave,” Tikki whispered.

Marinette nodded. She turned to Plagg and whispered, “We’ll talk more later. I’ll call Master Fu later today and see if he has any advice.”

“M’kay. See ya,” he replied with a small wave. “Bye, Sugarcube.”

Tikki looked back and gave him a reassuring smile, then followed Marinette out the door.

Plagg hovered towards the windowsill while he waited for his charge, plopping down with a heavy sigh. He leaned against the window, taking in the many colors of the dawn sky, which looked almost too bright and vibrant for his liking. How dare the heavens look so beautiful while he felt so miserable inside? The day hadn’t even really started, and yet the only thing he wanted to do was to just crawl back into bed. He dearly hoped that the heavy, uneasy feeling in his gut would go away soon.

(A short while later)

Work at the bakery had been lively and hectic today; so much so that Chat Noir had to be reminded when his shift was over and that he needed to head to school. He gave Sabine a parting hug, the latter thanking him for his hard work and giving him some encouraging words as she helped dust the flour off his suit and hair.

Chat retrieved his cloak from a coat hanger by the door and stepped into the stairwell that led to the living quarters, so that he could retrieve his school supplies and exit through Marinette’s balcony trap door as he normally did. That was definitely one of the plus sides of working in the kitchen while transformed; he could wear his school outfit underneath and not require a change of clothes or a shower when he was through. He could merely detransform and be good as new.

As he ascended up the stairs, he heard a familiar deep voice call out to him from below. Chat froze, then turned around, trying to keep his nerves under control.

“Could I speak with you for a minute?” Tom asked.

Uh-oh.

“O-of course, Mr. Dupain,” Chat replied, trying to keep his voice even despite his nerves.

Tom’s face was mostly neutral, but his body was rigid and there was a hint of gloom in his eyes. Chat did his best not to cringe as he stood in front of the much taller man who, despite not being a superhero, looked like he could toss him clear to the Eiffel Tower if he felt like it. To prevent himself from fidgeting, Chat finally opted to stick his hands inside his pockets.

“What is it, sir? D-did I do something wrong?” he asked. “I was running a bit late, so I apologize if I didn’t put something back in the right spot. O-or did I mess up an order?? I’m sorry, I can go back and fix… whatever it is!”

“No, everything’s fine; it’s something else,” he answered, and Chat felt the stiffness in his shoulders ease a tiny bit.

However, it came back full force when Tom didn’t say anything else. Chat’s heartbeat sped up as they stood face to face in silence, unsure of the route this conversation was about to take.

What else could he be in trouble for? Did he find out Marinette had fallen asleep in his bedroom yesterday? Oh no… Did Tom think he and Marinette had… done something unseemly together last night?! Was he getting kicked out of the house?? His mind raced and his chest thumped, and he prepared himself to beg on his knees for forgiveness if need be.

A few agonizingly long and awkward seconds later, Tom spoke again, “Chat Noir… I wanted to apologize to you.”

“Oh, I see. Wait… WHAT?!?” Chat felt like someone had yanked the carpet out from underneath him. “Apologize?? What for?”

Tom lifted his arm to rub the back of his head, his entire posture taut as a bowstring. “We didn’t really get off on the right foot, you and I. You’ve been nothing but cordial and polite, and all I’ve done since you arrived is give you the cold shoulder, and for that I’m truly sorry. I wanted to clear the air and start over, if that’s okay with you.”

“Mr. Dupain! N-no, please, it’s okay!” Chat sputtered, his hands waving frantically. “I totally understand why you would have reservations about me living here, o-or even interacting with you guys at all! They’re totally justified concerns! I mean, up until a few months ago, I was still working with Hawkmoth; so the fact that you even allowed me into your home at all is incredibly kind of you! I’ve never felt any ill will towards you, I swear! You were just doing what any good father would––” he trailed off, trying to keep the melancholy out of his voice, “–would do.”

Tom winced and sighed heavily, crossing his arms. “That’s exactly my point, though. It may have been justified at first, but that was back then . I tolerated you for the sake of my wife and daughter, but I was always suspicious. I should’ve given you a chance instead of just judging you for no reason, especially after all this time. So I wanted to try to make it up to you.”

It was then that Tom brought something shiny out of his shirt pocket. It was an adorable little keychain shaped like a croissant. But wait… no, it wasn’t just a keychain, Chat realized. There was a key dangling on the end. A house key. Tom handed it over, doing his best to try to conceal a timid smile.

Chat gaped at him, reeling from what was happening. “I… I don’t know what to say. That is so generous of you! Thank you, Mr. Dupain,” he replied meekly, staring into his hands at the key. HIS key.

He felt the man’s large hand pat him on the shoulder and Chat looked up, meeting his soft, forest green eyes. “Please, call me Tom.”

Chat had to consciously fight the urge to let his jaw drop. If he wasn’t dreaming last night with Ladybug’s revelation, he was surely dreaming now. “Y-yes, sir! Uhh, Mr. Tom, sir. Uhh, I mean…” he stammered, still not recovered from having been gobsmacked out of nowhere.

The older man gave out a hearty laugh. “Just Tom. And please, if there’s anything you need, just say the word. Even if it’s just someone to lend an ear. You’ve got a good heart despite the bad hand that’s been dealt to you, and you have so much potential. We’re happy to have you in our family, even if you’re only here temporarily. Just know you’ll always have a home here with us.”

Chat’s heart swelled with affection, so full that it felt like it might burst, and his eyesight became blurry with unshed tears. He threw his arms around the giant man in front of him, someone who he never thought would fully accept him, squeezing hard.

“Thank you, Tom! Thank you so much, I’m just–” he let out a shuddering sigh then continued, voice cracking, “–thank you.”

Tom squeezed back firmly, giving him an affectionate pat. Failing to hide a sniffle, he then added, “I should let you get going, I don’t wanna make you late for school.” The pair pulled apart, and Tom ruffled Chat’s hair. “Be safe out there, kiddo.”

After saying their goodbyes, Chat bounded up the stairs, practically floating with glee. He’d missed this feeling; the feeling of being part of a family. As he emerged onto the rooftop balcony, he took a deep breath of the crisp autumn air, his heart full of excitement and hope.

He arrived at the school in high spirits and a huge grin on his face. He detransformed in a discreet location and practically skipped to the school’s entrance; then he entered the campus, carefree, joyful, and blissfully unaware of the dark eyes that followed him inside.

#Miraculous Ladybug #Enemies AU #Marinette Dupain Cheng #Adrien Agreste #Chat Noir #Ladybug #Ladynoir #enemies to lovers #fanfiction #Discordant Sonata #ML AU #aged up #Eden writes #art by others #Fanfic art

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papers4me · 3 years

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Fruits Basket Manga Review , ch 112 & 113 (part 2)

I hate that this chapter is cut... mainly cuz it deals with the most “ horribly presented” theme in furuba anime.... grief.

-The shame of grieving: “ Rarely discussed theme in Literature”:

When a love one dies... ppl differ in how they deal with it. Some cry their hearts out, some become depressed & painfully lonely, others get angry or cynical, some might deny it, some move on quickly, others move on but years after the realization crushes them, others stay still... Above all, you feel ashamed of yourself if you didn’t move on or if you DID move on.. “ Sometimes ppl around you judge you for it... for your grief”

The later is the theme of these two chapters. Rarely discussed themes & it saddens me that it is cut. You see, Furuba anime doesn’t get grief at all. To them, it’s a small part of the generic protagonist after she finishes her job of nurturing the real main protagonist. Mothers are strong, they help us cross the bridge between childhood & adulthood. Tohru, the show’s mom, did it so thoroughly & in slow visual & narrative details for yuki. Afterwards, the anime brushed whatever is left of her character, which the anime viewed as sheer suspenseful drama, & collected it thro 3rd person story-telling techniques in one ep “ se3, ep6″ & excessive monologue for 10 minutes in se3, ep9.

In this chapter, Kakeru, a side character, sheds light into this theme. Kakeru didn’t lose a parent by death, didn’t grieve, has no dependent familial bonds with either dead parents “ kyoko & komaki’s dad”. Yet, kakeru stood & judged tohru on how she “ should” grieve. Harshly tearing her down while she’s standing there lonely, trying to hide her shock at the loss of her only pillar in life, broken & traumatized, dealing with the pushed down traumatic feelings from her past where her mom abandoned her as a child..now her mom did it again, this time thro death.. & kakeru, rightfully not knowing all that, but wrongfully lecturing her on how to behave... kakeru isn’t a monster, but he only saw what he wanted: komaki & how the world should grieve with his lover, how he should be the hero protecting her. So self-centered, insensitive, horribly cruel & unbelievably conceited, but above all... what he did is so sadly common... it hurts.

-Judging Grieving People:

As I said many times.. grief is so personal, so unique to the person & as common as it is, so misunderstood. According to kakeru & many ppl I’ve sopken to lately, tohru should have acknowledged komaki. Komaki, the not-traumatized version of tohru, did the right “ tohru-like” thing. Not only felt sadness at the loss of her own dad, but found it in her heart to visit the other orphan, tohru, & give condolences & respect to the dead mother. Such kindness & purity. Very deserving of applaud: To not only see your pain but others’ as well. Tohru has always done the “ right, kind” thing to other ppl. When she can’t now, the author brought another “ tohru” to do the “ right, kind” thing.

Kakeru is so many ppl. During my brother’s funeral. I’ve heard so many gossip on how my mom should’ve stood tall & greeted the visitors.” Being silent , emotionless & non-responsive is not how you show visitors you value their kind words”, they said. How his widow should’ve collected herself & acted properly, respected his memory by taking proper care of herself & her kids. “Being a broken mess is not how you “ honor” loved one”, they said. Kakeru is indeed many ppl & that’s how you discuss a theme by creating characters who sin, screw up & be cruel, even if momentarily.

Kakeru is wrong. There is no “ you should have” in grief. There is no ounce of truth in his demeaning lecture to tohru & I respect komaki for her reaction to him so much. Kakeru did learn & grew from it, apologized to tohru even if he didn’t actually sought her to do so & even if she herself started the apology. But you see, these two chapters are 90% focused on kakeru as a character, his growth, thoughts, the mini focus on his relationship with komaki as an example of healthy relationship & all that is another lesson for yuki to observe & learn. He learned abt tohru’s past, kakeru’s personality & growth & got to observe another example of romantic relationship so yuki can grow as a man & approach machi healthily. But then again... nothing at all stops yuki/machi from being healthy, no past issues, no contradicting personalities “ they’re quite similar” & yuki is the only furuba character that doesn’t screw up big. He learns & teaches. He’s the personification of the author.

-Tohru.. stays a “ tohru”:

Tohru’s part is 10% of the this chapter which is fine as I think/hope it will lead into more tohru depth in the following chapters. But It is for this reason I’m glad this chapter was cut in the 13 eps season of furuba anime, cuz tohru doesnt have much depth in the anime due to the quick wrap up & the la~~~~st thing I want is another 3rd person story-telling flashback abt tohru in the anime. Honestly, one of the most frustrating aspect to me of the anime & I’ll hold judgement abt manga- tohru till I reach its end. So far~~~ Tohru’s depth & character exploration gets better one chapter, then regress the next one, then moves on, the... it’s a fluctuating process. It has nothing to do with tohtu’s feelings.

you’ see ... kyo himself as a character with issues fluctuates a lot, he does sth good, then does sth bad, chooses right words, then makes a horrible mistake & chooses wrong! which is one of the most well-done aspects of character exploration that is rarely attempted by authors! I highly respect Takaya-san for what she’s doing with kyo in the manga so far. Other authors show us a character doing one big mistake & then he/she learns from it in a dramatic way. But Takaya-san, nope! she decided to approach it in a very human way, making us be frustrated with kyo’s repeated mistakes yet understands where he’s coming from! kudos to her!!

But I’m not yet satisfied with how tohru is portrayed in the manga & this has nothing to do with tohru’s character. Takaya-san is discussing rare themes thro tohru’s character. But what I mean is how tohru is approached thro the viewers/readers eyes. I wont judge until the last chapter. but this is the part that is frustrating to me.

Side Notes:

The flow of the 2 chapters is little off. We go back & forth between the past & the present, between yuki-machi & komaki-kakeru. Again, I’m so glad the anime cut it cuz, nope! they can’t handle such narrative. they’ll reorder it in a such heavily monologing way & insert the comedy abruptly to lighten the mood. Just look at how the comedy is inserted in momiji’s se03 ep!

Komaki is such a tohru with a sprinkle of kagura’s very softened outbursts. lol. she’s fun!

I’m liking yuki-machi interactions a lot. no drama, which is why the anime cut it -_-’, but it progresses healthily. Machi is yuki’s third-stage growth after (1) leaving tohru’s nest (baby yuki), (b) making friends with kakeru/someone who gets him (young boy yuki), (3) finding romantic love (being a man). The anime was so interested in the 2 stages above cuz that’s where the drama is & cut the third. Honestly, the anime didn’t have to include everything as there is never a space in 13 eps, but they certainly could’ve squeezed few panels or even made brand new very short yuki-machi scenes. but the anime weirdly decided after yuki “ saved” machi from her trauma by talking with her in her apartment, he should just marry her.... lol.. that’s why next scene is ep 5 momiji’s ep intro montage where yuki was abt to confess!!! making yuki-machi the least developed couple in the anime!

I love all furuba’s characters, but yuki, tohru, kyo & akito carry the big themes, therefore, I not only analyze their characters, but how the themes are presented thro them & how their presentation affects such themes. This might make it sound as I hate them or am harsh on them. not at all. It is the anime director/ manga author that I’m positively or negatively criticizing most times. Most importantly, my criticism is not the law. It’s just my perspective & my consumption of the material. Feel free to differ with me. I dont mind it. It brings interesting discussions!

When it comes to tohru’s issues... his chapter introduced nothing new. We have seen/read in canon repeatedly that tohru hides her pain behind a smile (heck! even kisa knows that & told us), that she cant stand up for herself much, that she smiles for other ppl not for herself. All this was presented thro so many characters already, which is why I understand the anime’s decision to cut it. What’s new? that yuki didn know tohru’s smile is mostly a mask & that kakleru has depth.

I love this chapter for the grieving themes it discussed that are rarely touched upon in literature, but since such themes are rarely presented, the anime’s decision to cut it, ironically proves my point! lol . They don’t get grief & so, they reduced it to se03 content & two eps worth. sad.. but expected. The anime is indeed another form of “past” kakeru: seeing one side of grieving person. The happy side.

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #manga review #fruits basket manga #manga spoilers #sad paper #I love you little bro #I miss u

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charmingsoa · 3 years

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Gunslinger (2)

Hey guys! First off, I want to say thank you to everyone that read and liked the first chapter. I’ve had this idea for a while and then I switched everything up and i’m so glad I did! If you would like to be tagged for this story, please let me know either in the comments or just message me. This story will somewhat follow the series but will also have non-cannon references as well. Again, thank you so much for all the love and please let me know if you want to be tagged :)

“I can’t believe you, Jax!”

I slammed my hands against his hard chest, pushing him out of the way. My heels slapped against the concrete floor of the studio, the people around us looking around to see the commotion. I pushed through the dressing room door, a young actress and an unpatched member fucking against the wall greeting me. “Get the fuck out of here!” I exclaimed, fire coursing through my body. “Now!” The two quickly gathered their things, running past me and almost running into Jax as he followed close behind.

“You fucking knew I would be here, Carter.” Jax spoke. “You shouldn’t be surprised to see me here and then throw your typical tantrum.” I rolled my eyes, turning back to face him. In the back of my mind, I knew that he would be here. He probably spent less than an hour with our daughter before Gemma got a hold of her. She was supposed to stay at Jax’s house and spend time with her father, not be in the hands of Gemma for the whole night. He just couldn’t tear himself away from this party. “You look gorgeous.” His devilish smirk appeared. “You always look gorgeous.”

My face stayed stoic as I stared at him. That sexy little grin used to work but I knew that it also worked on anything with a pussy and tits. “It doesn’t work anymore, Jackson.” I spoke.

I watched as he slowly crept closer. “What?” His voice deep as he moved closer, causing me to bump into the wall behind me, cornered. “You used to love my smile- “His arms trapping me between him and the cool stone behind me. “Those clothes used to drop in a matter of seconds for this smile.” His body inches from mine as his hand curved around my waist, bringing us flush together. “You let these random men fuck you-“His hot breath landing on my neck, causing shivers to tingle down my spine. “Let a real man who actually knows what you like fuck you right.”

His lips pressed lightly against my neck, his fingers slipping under the hem of my dress. “You’re gonna fuck me right- “I moaned out. “You gonna fuck me like a real man.” His movements growing more aggressive as my moans became more frequent. I rolled my hips into his crotch, earning a satisfied groan to escape through his lips. “Too bad I get fucked by a real man every night or anytime I want.” I whispered against his lips.

His movements stopped, his body becoming rigid and frozen. “What?” He raised his head, his eyes blazing. I couldn’t help but smirk at his reaction.

“You heard me, Jax.” I spoke softly. “Anytime I want it, he’s there to deliver.”

He slowly backed away, “Who is it?” His voice sounded like he gargled gravel. Each time it was like that, I knew he was upset but it was also sexy to hear that growl.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” I smirked. “Let’s just say he stays at my place as a permanent fixture.” His arms crossed angrily across his chest. “He waits in my bedroom until I get home and then the party really begins.”

He started to speak but the sound of Luanne calling my name stopped him short. I quickly fixed my dress, checking to make sure my hair and makeup look presentable before going back to the party.

“Go home and be with our daughter, Jax.” I started towards the door. “Don’t leave her with your mother all night…”

I parked my car next to the massive Cadillac that belonged to Gemma Teller Morrow. Gemma and I’s relationship was like oil and water. We didn’t mix at all and often fought for dominance. Unfortunately, we were alike in many ways and that caused us to clash even more. We loved our families, and that love ran deep with Maddie in the mix. When I first found out I was pregnant, Gemma pushed her way in and did everything. She bought everything I needed for a new baby. She went to all my doctor’s appointments, hell, she was even in the delivery room when I had her. Madison was Gemma’s first and only grandchild, she was the little princess. As she grew older, Gemma’s control got worse. She wanted to be there every second of every minute. She would critique my parenting skills and tell me that I was doing everything wrong. She pitched a fit when I enrolled her into preschool and told me that Teller children aren’t supposed to be watched by others at such a young age. She wanted to be in Madison’s life constantly and that wasn’t going to fly. She may be able to bully her son around but when it comes to my daughter, Gemma Teller can kick fucking rocks.

“Mommy!”

I crouched down as Maddie ran in my direction, her little arms wrapping around my neck. I gave her an extra squeeze as I looked up, finding the queen bee standing directly in front of me. She removed her sunglasses; her typical resting bitch face ever present. “She was wondering when you would be here.” She spoke.

I slowly stood up, Maddie situated on my hip, “I take it Jax never picked her up last night like I told him to?”

“I know how to take care of my granddaughter, Carter.” Gemma bit back. “Jax had club shit to deal with and of course mommy was playing movie star.”

I gritted my teeth, keeping my anger at bay since I had Maddie, “Since when does the club become more important than your own child? Shouldn’t she be with her father, spending quality time with him, instead of being swept away by her overbearing, neurotic grandmother?”

Gemma stayed silent for a moment, “Well-“ She started. “Maybe if mommy wasn’t entertaining other men and sometimes women, mommy and daddy would still be together, and she wouldn’t have to go back and forth. Jax has business to attend to just like you do.” Gemma knew the true reason why Jax and I separated, and it wasn’t because of my job. She only said that to get even more under my skin. Gemma was always skeptical of me working of Luanne and the way I made my money. She didn’t want her son’s wife sucking dick for a living, but it was my fucking life and it payed my fucking bills, putting a roof over my daughter’s head. I worked my way out of the slums of Charming. That’s more than I can say for Gemma, who just fucked her way out of it.

“I need all of my little ladybugs to line up, please.” The dance teacher spoke as the girls all gathered around her. I gave Madison one last kiss before setting her back down so she could join the others. Gemma gave her a wave goodbye, eyeing the teacher before making her way towards the audience. Everyone was an enemy to Gemma. If you weren’t apart of SAMCRO, then you were an outsider who couldn’t be trusted. I was and still am that person to Gemma.

I took my seat next to Gemma, praying to God that the show started soon. “Who gave you those hickies, your John for the day?” Gemma spoke.

I didn’t even realize that Jax had made those marks last night until I looked in the mirror this morning. I did my best to cover them up, but Gemma was fucking Sherlock Holmes, spotting hickies miles away and covered in Maybelline foundation. “Maybe you should ask you son-“I shot back. “Seems he has trouble keeping his hands and lips to himself. Maybe he’s the whore after all.”

“He is a whore but at least he doesn’t fuck random people on screen for money.” I could feel her eyes burning holes into my head as I kept my gaze ahead of me.

“Well-“I cleared my throat, “You’re always bringing up the fact that I work at CaraCara-“ I turned my head to face her. “You jealous that you were never woman enough or maybe pretty enough to do what I do? Maybe that leash that John and Clay had you on was too tight.”

She stayed silent for a moment, a smirk slowly forming across her lips. “I’d rather have my leash too tight than be a fucking whore like you, Carter.”

“I may be a whore but I’m also the mother of your granddaughter and I control when and if she sees you-“ I paused, getting closer to her face. “Always remember that, Gemma.”

She started to say something but was stopped as the lights dimmed, and the curtain began to part. Madison was up front due to her size, Jax Teller’s famous smile shined on her face. The music started up as the girls moved about, some fumbling and others following along perfectly. I couldn’t help but laugh as Madison tried her best to keep up but relied on her neighbor to let her know what the next step was. The main thing was that she was having fun and that’s all that mattered…

“Okay, cut!” Luanne yelled behind the camera. “That was great girls.” I gave the two girls I had filmed with a smile before removing myself from the bed, pulling the sheet with me to cover up. It was well after midnight, but Luanne was adamant to get the rest of the scenes filmed tonight. The movie would go into postproduction starting tomorrow and a new release would be out in a matter of weeks.

I made my way to the showers, dropping the sheet in the doorway as I turned the facet on. I didn’t even care that the water was cold at first, taking a moment to finally heat up. My thighs and core were sore from the constant contractions, oral sex will do that to you, I guess. I looked down at the rest of my body, bite marks and red splotches littered my tan skin. Thankfully, the bites could be hidden to the outside world, especially my four-year-old. I stayed under the spray for a moment before lathering my hair and body. I could hear the others leaving, telling Luanne goodnight. It was typical for me to stay after once everyone was gone. I had a key to the warehouse and could come and go as I pleased.

“Carter, I’m heading out!” Luanne yelled. “See you tomorrow?”

I wiped away the water that ran down my face, “Sure thing.” I spoke out. “Have a goodnight.”

The sound of the door closing behind her sounded throughout the building. I finished rinsing off before turning the water off, reaching out for the towel I had set aside. I ran my fingers through my wet hair, deciding to just comb it at home, pulling it into a messy bun. I rubbed lotion down my legs before pulling my underwear on, followed by the sweatpants I had worn earlier. My sports bra and hoodie followed next as I gathered my things and made my way out. I locked up the studio, placing the keys into my purse as I walked to my awaiting car.

“Carter Teller?”

I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound of my name being called. I quickly turned around, finding a man with glasses, a muscular man standing by his side. “Yeah?” I spoke.

He slowly stepped closer, the light from the parking lot allowing me to see more of his features. He looked to be a middle-aged man, dressed in a blue blazer and a pair of jeans. “Didn’t mean to scare you, sweetheart.” He smiled.

“You didn’t scare me-“ I stated. “What do you want?”

He looked over at his friend, “My name is Georgie Caruso-“He stuck his hand out. I stared at it for a moment, taking a step back. “Luanne and I go way back, and I’ve noticed that you seem to be the number one girl around here.” I watched as he dropped his hand, slipping it into his front pocket. “I actually run my own studio out in Stockton, Caruso Entertainment, bigger budget and more money for my actors.”

I stayed silent, my hand placed firmly inside of my purse, the cool metal of a gun meeting my senses.

“I know you’ve worked with Luanne for a long while but she’s in a shit ton of trouble with the feds and I would hate for such a beautiful girl like yourself to get pulled into all that bullshit. You deserve to be working for a company that has your back, not one that’s got a knife twisted into it.”

Luanne had confided in me that she was going through some legal issues but Jax and the guys assured her that everything would be taken care of. “I’m fine where I am, thanks.” I muttered.

The smile dropped from his face, “Caruso Entertainment is the best place for you to be right now, Carter. I can catapult you to superstardom and get you out of this shithole town.”

“I enjoy this shithole town and CaraCara is the best and only place I want to be, Mr. Caruso.” My face growing red with anger. “You and your friend need to get off the property before I call the police and have you arrested for trespassing.”

I could tell my answer was not the one he wanted to hear. “I’m gonna give you one last chance, Carter. You can either stay here and continue to be the biker whore or come with me and become the queen of porn.” His henchman took a step closer. “You and I both know what your choice needs to be.”

I wrapped my hand around the gun, bringing it out of the bag and pointing it in their direction. “You need to get the fuck out of my face before I put a fucking bullet into your chest.” My voice shook with nerves and anger. I watched as he called his guy back, a smirk present on his pugged face.

“Biker whore it is then.” Georgie’s voice full of venom, the smirk growing. “Don’t get too comfortable, sweetheart. You don’t know who you’re messing with.”

#Jax Teller #jax teller fanfiction #jax teller imagine #charlie hunnam fanfiction #Charlie Hunnam #charlie hunnam imagine #soa #sons of anarchy #sons of anarchy fanfiction #sons of anarchy imagine

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urimaginespimp · 3 years

Text

Breathe (This love pt. 5)

Bucky x Reader

Set during Endgame

Look out for: Stubborn dad Thor, and 40s Bucky.

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Previous Chapter

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None of you thought it was going to end that way.

When Carol, a new friend of yours, found Tony in space with one of Thanos’ daughters, there was a spark of hope within you. But when your adoptive father chopped the titan’s head off out of rage, you knew you had to go back to the people who might be able tell you what’s next.

To visitors, the Norns’ cave felt eerie. But stepping in it for the first time after Thor took you under his care, it still felt like home. You could already feel the Norns’ presence despite not being submerged in the pool of water.

You smile at the memory of how they have the reputation of being cruel and torturous to anyone they possess, when they have never been less than gentle to you. Dipping your right leg first, you instantly felt how they made the water warmer. Walking into the middle, you waited for them to enter your consciousness.

Taking a deep breath, you laid yourself back and relaxed enough for your body to start floating on water. Then you felt them.

“We’ve been expecting you, child.” Your voice blended with theirs once they spoke up.

I’ve been meaning to visit you. I’m sorry I didn’t go sooner. You replied in your thoughts.

“You feel... broken.”

A titan got hold of the stones and snapped the universe’s population in half. I- I lost most of my family.

“We know. And now you’re here because your heart cannot rest.”

What can you tell me?

“There is a man...”

Of course, there is. You caught yourself thinking. There was a pang in your chest when you remembered how amused you were when one of your Midgardian friends rolled her eyes and said that phrase.

“Now is not the time, Y/N.” They snapped at you.

Sorry. Please continue.

“The man is stuck in a realm in Midgard, and he’s on his way.”

There is a realm within the Midgard realm? Confusion laced your thoughts.

“But remember child, it is not until resentment within your family is put aside, that you would have even an ounce of chance to fix everything.” You think back to how Stark still isn’t speaking to anyone of you. Yiu haven’t heard from him for years now.

How can I fix us?

“You can’t meddle in this one Y/N. It is only with time that the rough patch would heal.” you sighed in frustration but found yourself agreeing. If it’s for the best, then you’ll let time take its course.

“Now, you are banned from leaving the cave until you tell us about this Bucky that’s plaguing your mind.”

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When you were first introduced you as Thor’s adopted daughter to the Asgardians, they were polite but you could feel that they were still unsure of you. But with spending time with helping them fish and being patient enough to teach them the Midgardian lifestyle, they now treated you as their own princess despite not being of royal blood. But since Thanos, Thor has been more distant – leaving responsibilities to you and Val.

For five years, you tried to appear as if you were doing better than most. And after taking time to just wallow in sadness for a while, you finally started visiting Nat and Steve from time to time. You were glad to hear that Steve was going to therapy, and you know he means well when he drops hints that you should go with him and join his sessions, but you always gave lame excuses, and often diverted away from any topic that would involve Bucky.

Nat however, has never been one to shy away from calling you out. “I know there’s a part of you that still blames yourself for not bending his blood and brains out.” she once confronted you when you were lounging on the couch, day drinking and eating sandwiches. You sat up and gave her a sad smile, your eyes tearing up.

“Damn it Nat, I came here to drink, not to get therapy from you.” you chuckled, grimacing at how forced it sounded.

“But it was never your fault. Believe me when I say that we all blamed ourselves at some point.” She continued, and your eyes teared up.

In the last five years you thought no one could see that you’ve been beating yourself up for not getting to where Steve and Thor were sooner. You thought that maybe if you had, you would’ve stopped Thanos, and half of the world, including Bucky, would still be here.

“Sometimes I wake up thinking I’m still in Wakanda, and that this has all been a nightmare.” you breathed out, feeling yourself about to break down for the first time. “I can’t find myself to stop waiting for him even if I don’t know if we could ever bring everybody back.” you finally admitted.

“Y/N -”

“Nat, the worst part is that I never got to tell him I love him. I know he knew and didn’t feel the same way. But I still wish I got to.” tears were starting to spill from your eyes, and Natasha was quick to get the drink from your hand before it spilled, and take you in her arms for comfort.

If you were to be completely honest, half the reason you go out of your way to visit Nat and Steve, was so you could also visit The Smithsonian Institution, and just... look at him. You’ve read what was written about him over and over, but it wasn’t enough to replace the yearning that you have inside.

In your sleep you can sometimes still see him just seconds before the blip. On other nights, it’s just the image of him sleeping soundly – his lips parted slightly, and his breathing getting steadier by the minute, the crease between his brows relaxed, and his hair pushed and tied at the back after you offered to - a sight you’ve engraved in your mind after many nights of comforting him following a nightmare.

“He loved you too, Y/N”. Steve spoke out from the doorway, seeing your state. “Maybe not like the way you do, but I know he does. And today I went out for a walk and -”

“Steve, if you’re about to tell her to look on the bright side, I’m about to hit you on the head with a PeanutButter sandwich.” Nat cut him off.

But then everyone’s attention snapped to Nat’s desk, where a notification pinged. It says that someone was outside. Sliding on the call, there was a man outside, asking if anyone was at home. You know you’ve seen his face before, and after he finally said his name, you remembered who he is.

“Is this an old message?” Steve asked after a few seconds in shock.

“It’s the front gate.”

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“I’ll do it too.” You spoke up to the group.

The team was going to have two tests – one where it would be a quick time on wherever the test subject would want to go, and if it’s successful, the second would leave the test subject longer in the timeline they choose. And you just volunteered yourself right after Clint.

“No, I forbid you.” Thor spoke up from his seat. Everybody turned their attention to him in surprise. All along they thought he was asleep because he had sunglasses on and was unresponsive.

“Fa-”

He stood abruptly and came closer to you. “This is non-negotiable, Y/N. I’ve already lost enough; I can’t lose you too." Your eyes welled with tears in surprise. For the last five years he’s managed to shut everyone out including you – leading you to believe that he doesn’t care anymore and just hasn’t kicked you out, out of honor.

“We’ll let you both talk first.” You heard Steve say in a low voice, ushering everyone else out of the room.

Thor grunted and moved away back to his seat, still wearing his glasses, while you stayed standing, leaning in the corner. Taking a long hard look at him, you understood where he was coming from. But you also knew getting things right would be the only way to possibly get him back up again. And it was a risk you were willing to take.

“There was a time when I believed you were dead.” You started talking, regardless of not knowing if he was listening. “I jumped right into anger out of guilt, and as I was ruthlessly destroying those outriders, I thought I was gonna have to stay feeling that way forever. Just plain angry.” You chuckled and pushed yourself from the wall.

“But there was a moment where that anger was replaced by worry and fright. It was when Bucky was getting too overwhelmed by the creatures’ attacks. Yes, I almost got pierced like a kebab right after, but it was also the moment I realized that I preferred feeling any other emotions than blinding anger. I don’t want you feeling that way forever too.”

“I’m not angry.” he snapped, standing up once again to get closer to you.

“Yes, you are. But above all you’re hurting.” you stood your ground in front of him.

“I am definitely NOT hurting.” He sarcastically answered.

“Really? Then take those glasses off. Let me see those definitely not bloodshot eyes.” you smiled gently up at him, crossing your arms in front of your chest, when he snorted at you. “Don’t think I didn’t hear you sniffling and trying to hide it by pretend-drinking that empty can of beer earlier.”

“gods, why are daughters so annoyingly observant.” He muttered, finally throwing the empty can of beer somewhere in the room. You can see that the team was back just right outside the glass door. You gave them an assuring smile, and faced him again.

“Well?”

“If it works on Clint, then fine.” He groaned, and you couldn’t help but tackle him out of gratitude.

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Clint was on the ground once he returned, and Nat rushed to his side to check on him.

“Hey, look at me.” she asked him, and he turned to look at everyone. His eyes were teary, but it wasn’t from sadness.

It was hope.

“It worked!”

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“Now, Y/N. This time you’re going to be there for a longer period, okay? Use your powers if defense is necessary.” Banner instructed you. You were now standing at the center of the machine in your suit. But only Nat and Steve knew what you had under it. It was their idea.

“Are you ready?” This time, Nat was behind the controller with Banner to overlook it. You gave her a small smile and a nod.

“Wait, where are you going anyway?” You heard Scott asked out loud, as Nat input the year. You looked over to where Steve was standing and he was also grinning.

“Say hi to him for me.” you heard him say before you felt yourself shrunk. And you were in.

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You made it out of a tent, now out of your suit and left with the old nurse’s uniform you were wearing under it earlier. Everybody else was too distracted, cheering on Steve because he just brought back with him the soldiers from Hydra’s base.

You tried to calm your nerves, just realizing that the people around you were now most likely dead from your timeline. How many of them survived the war, and how many of their grandchildren have you befriended? And how many of those grandchildren were also taken by the blip?

When the crowd was starting to disperse and most of the people were trying to get back to their tasks, you found yourself roaming around, a little lost, trying to figure out where the medical tent is.

“Steve, I told you I feel fine.” you froze when you heard his voice a little far behind you.

“It’s better to make sure, Buck.” you heard Steve insist. You still couldn’t will your legs to keep walking. “And even if you are, you need rest. Just let me find you a...”

shit

“...nurse! Hey, ma’am!” You weren’t sure if you were the one Steve was calling out. Turning around slowly, your breath hitched when you finally faced them. Bucky’s own face went from annoyed to entranced in a second. He was staring at you with the very same pair of orbs you’ve been missing. Only that in this timeline, they still held a glint of playfulness and innocence in them.

You cleared your own throat when you realized it’s been a few seconds since anyone said anything. “Uh, what can I do for you, S- Captain?” you gave them a smile, trying not to chuckle from almost calling him by his first name.

“You know what, Steve, I am feeling a little funny.” Bucky nudged him with his elbow. And you turned your attention to him.

“Right. Uh, allow me to assist you, Sargeant.” you walked slowly towards him, feeling like your heart was going to jump out of your chest.

“Don’t do anything stupid.” Steve muttered to him.

He put his arm around your shoulder for support as you start walking to what you hope was the medical tent. It was only then you realized that it was left arm. Your hand shakingly reached for his wrist, careful not to go for the hand, as if you were just making sure that you would be able to help him hold himself up.

“So... what’s your name?” He started trying to make small talk.

“Y/N” you answered, trying to mask your nervousness.

“I’m James. But you can call me Bucky.” Hearing him introduce himself in such a confident manner struck you deeply. You know that after this, he wouldn’t be able to know who he is for decades to come.

You almost wanted to warn him.

“Are you okay?” He asked in concern after being met with silence.

“Yes, sir. I’m just a tad nervous. I’m kinda new here.” you gave him a tight smile.

“Please call me by my name. And lucky for you, I’m the easiest patient you’ll ever tend to, doll. All I need is some company while on bed rest.” He gave you a boyish smile.

“You got yourself a deal, James.” you found yourself returning the smile.

Entering what was thankfully the medical tent, you helped him settle down on one of the beds. There were only about 3-5 other patients, and they were all being tend to already.

“I’m kind of curious, why did you decide to serve?” he gave you a sheepish smile.

“Are you sure there isn’t anything wrong with you, soldier?” you asked him first, and he responded with a small shake of his head. Smiling, you came up with a believable answer. “My dad was a high-ranking officer, but something happened, and they lost a lot of people. And now he’s back home wallowing in guilt. I decided to serve in behalf of him, so now I’m here.” you bit the inside of your cheek. It wasn’t entirely a lie.

James was looking at you in awe, and he took your hand in his left one and gave it a light squeeze. “You don’t have a man waiting on you back home?” you could hear he was almost hesitant to ask.

You blinked away the tears threatening to spill. How would you be able to say something so heart wrenching?

“Bu... He was among those who didn’t make it.” you cleared your throat to compose yourself. This was all too much.

“I’m sorry for your loss.” he didn’t know what to say. He almost kicked himself for having a tinge of relief in knowing that you weren’t committed to anyone.

“He wasn’t really mine... I was in love, yes. And he knew but just didn’t really feel the same. And I never resented him for it. I just wish I was brave enough to really tell him before he...” you choked up and apologized to him, but there was no judgement behind his eyes.

“I’m sure he wouldn’t want for you to be filled with regrets every time you remember him. I know I wouldn’t.” He gave you an assuring smile, squeezing your hand in comfort as the tears finally run down your cheeks.

“I’m sorry for crying. Now they’re gonna think you were being mean to me.” you gave him a sad smile.

“Steve will lecture me about manners for sure.” He chuckled.

“He still does it.” You thoughtlessly blurted out, earning a confused look from him. “I- I’ve heard some people saying he’s been super righteous even way before he became the Captain America.” you sheepishly smiled, hoping he believed you.

“Yeah. Always been a punk.” He replied, but you could hear adoration lace his voice.

“I think I should leave you to actually get some rest.” You knew it was time to go.

He nodded and smiled at you. “You're the most beautiful nurse I’ve ever seen. I don't think most of us wouldn’t mind if your face is what will be the last thing we’ll see.”

“Yeah, there is definitely something wrong with you. Get some sleep, soldier.” you turned and was already near the way out, when he spoke up.

“We’re going on a raid tomorrow. Will I get to see you when we come back?”

You felt your heart drop. You knew what was about to happen to him.

You turned to face his way and walked back to him where he was now sitting up on the bed.

“James, you’re a strong man. You’re going to be okay.” eventually.

“Thank you, angel.”

It was your turn to give his left hand a squeeze. And bringing it up, you gave it a small kiss before gently dropping it back to him.

“I’ll wait for you to come back, Buck.” you smiled, and quickly left the tent before you completely break down.

It was time go back.

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@eternalharry @iheartsebandchris @lizzarooni @the-ayo-lit

@tanyaherondale @knowyourworth-sellyoursoul

Today is a great day. Fearless (Taylor's Version) + New TFATWS episode.

187 notes · View notes

ncssian · 3 years

Text

A Favor: Part Ten

Nessian Modern AU

Masterlist

warnings: NSFW (!!), light abuse mention

this chapter is dedicated to the amazing showstopping talented @duskandstarlight for reviewing my writing and helping me successfully edit the sexy times!! she's so cool yall ❤️

***

The first thing she notices when she steps inside is the sound of crackling, followed by a warm glow from the living area. The lights are all off, but the fireplace is ablaze.

Nesta’s brows furrow, confused, but then she sees on the couch— “Cassian?”

Cassian’s eyes widen at the sight of her, and he stands quickly from the couch. “Nesta.” He’s breathless. Like he ran a great distance to get here.

Nesta is worried that she had one Jello shot too many. That maybe she’s still in Eris’s car, dozed off and dreaming. She can’t remember falling asleep, though.

“What are you doing here?” she whispers. If she’s too loud, he might disappear.

“I came back.” His hands flex at his sides, and Nesta wishes for the millionth time that she was better at reading emotions, because she’d give anything to understand what’s going across his face right now.

“You’re supposed to be in Velaris for the weekend,” she says dumbly.

“Fuck the weekend. I couldn’t even make it through dinner.” Are his eyes red?

Nesta’s mouth opens and closes, and she turns toward the burning fireplace. Weirdly enough, she’s grateful for the lack of lights. She can’t see the depth of Cassian’s expression under the firelight alone, and he can’t see hers.

“Why?” is all she can say.

“I…” He scrubs a hand through his hair and blows out a harsh breath. “Shit, we promised we would take things slow just a few days ago.” He laughs derisively. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Nesta’s head swivels to Cassian, eyes focused on him in that intense way of hers. “Tell me. I want to know what you were thinking.”

He drops his head, staring at his shoes. “I missed you,” he says lowly. “Even though I knew you were doing perfectly fine without me, I drove all the way back here like an idiot because I wanted to see you.”

Nesta’s throat tightens the longer she stares at Cassian; it’s getting hard to breathe.

Cassian clears his throat in the silence, attempting to sound lighthearted. “So, that’s how I’m doing. What about you?”

“I had fun,” Nesta says, somewhat quiet.

“I saw.” He tries to smile. “You looked so happy in that picture. It made me happy.”

He’s telling the truth and lying at the same time, Nesta can tell. “I felt weird tonight, too,” she admits, swallowing. “Happy, but… lacking."

Cassian looks up at that.

“I’m really glad you came back,” she whispers. “I missed you too.”

“Nesta,” he breathes.

She takes a step closer to him. “I didn’t want to be clingy. Tell me if I’m being clingy.”

He shakes his head quickly.

“I don’t think you should leave me alone again,” she says into the dim glow of the room. "Not for a while, at least."

"I'm thinking the same thing."

He's right in front of her now, just inches away. She swallows; when did he get so close?

"If you want me to stop, I need to know now," Cassian says, voice low. His hands hover in the air between them, like he has to physically restrain himself from reaching out and touching her. "Because in a minute I won't remember why we agreed to take this slow."

All the air leaves Nesta's lungs in a straight whoosh. "I already forgot."

This kiss happens faster than the last one, but is somehow still slow— Nesta doesn't know which one of them moves first. All she knows is that one moment she's a lone figure, and the next she's joined with Cassian, his arms being the only thing still holding her upright.

He wasn't lying when he said he missed her, she finds out quickly. He kisses her with a drawn-out desperation that makes her head spin, using the distraction to ease her out of her coat and drop it to the floor. He pulls back for a sharp breath, only to take a look at her. "I can't believe I missed seeing you in a dress."

"I have more, we can look at them later," Nesta assures, her hands already reaching to tear the dress up and off of her. Cassian's hands catch hers at the last moment. "Easy, baby." He laces his fingers through hers. "I'm not going anywhere."

He pulls her in for another kiss before she can even process how much she likes the word baby. She latches onto his promise the way she latches onto his lips, like the string of a balloon about to fly away from her. He's not going anywhere. Not even to the next room.

The next minutes are the gentlest battle of wills Nesta has ever fought: every time she tries to speed things up, Cassian grounds her with his hands and mouth and towering form. When she becomes too impatient and reaches for the button of Cassian's jeans between kisses, he sweeps her right into his arms, forcing her legs to wrap around his waist and her arms to cling to his neck. His own hands slip right under her skirt, straight to her ass and squeezing.

The new angle presses her center firmly against his hard length, and she greedily accepts the simple pleasure he grants her with a choked gasp. "Can we please—"

"Don't rush this," Cassian murmurs into the underside of her jaw, walking them to the stairs. He stops to press her into the banister, rubbing his hips lazily into Nesta's. "I've waited a long time for you. Now it's your turn to wait." He bites down on a soft spot of skin.

This is real, Nesta finally realizes. This melting heat turning her limbs into jelly— it's not her mind wandering off to involuntary thoughts about Cassian's dick. The kind of thoughts that have her pinching her wrist hard enough to hurt. No, this is infinitely better than any three a.m. fantasy she's had so far.

He's carrying them upstairs now, but Nesta barely notices with how she's clasping his face, demanding all of his attention with her hungry kisses. It's a wonder they both don't topple down the steps with how starved she is for him.

How long has this need been building up in her? She doesn't want to know, even as the ache between her legs intensifies and she's eased onto a mattress. Blinking, she notices they're in Cassian's room. She hasn't been here since that night she was sick, and even then she didn't get a good look at the place through her haze of pain.

It's decorated with art and personal photos, big enough to carry a fireplace and a wall of floor-to-ceiling windows. Her own room isn't half as nice. "You've been holding back from me," she accuses.

Cassian looks up from where he's kneeling between Nesta's legs at the foot of the bed, realizing that she's talking about the room. "Why?" he smirks. "You looking to move in?"

As if she can even consider such a thing right now when she's seconds away from combusting.

Like he knows exactly how she feels, Cassian pushes the hem of her black dress up until it bunches around her waist, leaving her painfully exposed. His eyes glaze over at the sight of her plain gray panties, narrowing on the darker damp spot over her slit. A predatory look crosses his face, one that makes goosebumps pebble along her thighs. He tugs her even closer.

"Cassian..."

It's too late for whatever Nesta is about to say, because Cassian isn't listening anymore. Leaning forward, he noses at her clothed crotch, placing a slow kiss on the wet fabric of her underwear before dragging it off entirely and tossing it aside.

Nesta gasps and squirms when he pulls her legs firmly over his shoulders. "Um," she tries to say, "I don't really have a great history of getting off to oral—"

She's interrupted by a long lick up her center, from the wetness pooling at her entrance to the tip of her clit. Her hips jerk involuntarily, and then Cassian is outright feasting on her, all his words of patience suddenly as meaningless as a snapped leash.

Nesta's head falls back against the mattress with both overwhelming pleasure and unexpected surprise. Getting eaten out has never done much for her in the past— most of the time she just ended up wet and frustrated, and not at all in a good way. She believed coming on someone's tongue was an activity best reserved for her romance novel heroines, never herself.

So when her legs start trembling around Cassian's head after not even a minute of calculated licking and openmouthed kissing—

"Oh— ah," Nesta stammers, hands fisted desperately in the bedsheets since she doesn't know where else to put them. The only thing stopping her from rubbing herself all over Cassian's face are his broad hands, pinning her firmly in place while he gives her what he wants.

His deep groan rumbles through her heated core, right down to her bloodstream. "There's no fucking way," he says against her folds, shaking his head. "Your fucking taste—"

At the same time his hands find hers, interlacing their fingers together, his lips wrap around her swollen clit, sucking hard.

A breathy whimper tears out of Nesta's throat as she's thrown into release, every last nerve in her body shot through with electric pleasure. Cassian keeps licking and toying at her folds, until she can feel the overstimulation all the way down to the arches of her feet. It's only then that she tries to squirm away, feeling too much at once.

Cassian relents, wiping his mouth with the back of a hand, but the dark glint in his eyes says he has a new objective. "Aren't you glad you waited?" he rasps as he stands.

In Nesta's haze, she feels a tug of fabric, and then her dress is being pulled over her head. She can't remember if the bra she's wearing is a particularly sexy one, but before she can lift her head to check, it's being flung to the other side of the room to join the rest of her clothes. She doesn't even shiver, but sits up so she can grab at Cassian, any part of him—

He tries to catch her wrists before she can tear his clothes off, but Nesta isn't having any more of his waiting. Her hands dive under the hem of his sweater, his bare skin burning hot to the touch with arousal, and then he's shirtless. Her eyes rapidly skim over his scattered tattoos, not sure which one she wants to take in first as she fumbles with his pants.

"I'm going to learn all of you by the end of the night," she threatens, her focus catching on a pattern of thick black lines inked onto his ribs.

Cassian huffs a laugh at that, but the sound turns strangled when Nesta slips her hand into his jeans, palming him through his boxer briefs. He's— larger than she expected, but whatever apprehension she has quickly turns into nailbiting anticipation. This is real, she thinks for the hundredth time that night.

"You're one to talk," Cassian breathes as he lets Nesta rub and squeeze at him. He catches her slim wrist in his large hand, pulling it away from his cock despite her whine of disappointment. "I've been wanting to learn about you from day one."

His eyes narrow on a spot beneath her left tit, and he reaches out to brush the small mole there. "How many more of these do you have hidden?"

"You'll have to find them."

Cassian's gaze darkens, and Nesta can nearly feel time slowing down around them as he regains control of the pace, the tempo. Leaning forward with predatory intent, he crowds her until her back is once again pressed into the mattress. She shudders with expectation, her legs unconsciously parting wider around him. He bends his head until his breath fans over that mole, his lips about to brush it—

At the last moment, he pulls away, standing off the bed to strip the rest of his clothes off. Nesta scrambles onto her elbows, stretching her neck to get a look at his erect cock as it springs out, a furious shade of red.

She swallows roughly at the sight.

Cassian doesn't bother hiding his satisfaction at the look on her face. "Maybe it's for the best that I didn't know how much you wanted me earlier. I don't think my ego could have handled it."

"I..." Nothing comes to her mind for a witty comeback. She must look struck stupid, because Cassian chuckles, "Okay, my ego definitely can't handle it." He tugs at her legs so her elbows collapse beneath her.

Before they can do anything else, he seems to remember: "Condom."

Nesta shakes her head rapidly, unwilling— or unable— to give up even a second of the time between them. "I'm not on birth control for nothing."

Technically, she's on birth control to regulate her periods, but this is definitely an unexpected benefit.

Cassian's answering grin is both cocky and reverent before he moves. And as he crawls over her body, it strikes Nesta how far she's come to reach this place— this haven of warmth and safety. Because the last time she was in this position, she couldn't have imagined ever being able to feel like this. She never thought she could find or earn the adoration that shines in Cassian's eyes before he buries his face in her neck.

There's a kindness in his touch that takes her breath away.

"I think I fell asleep on the couch earlier," he whispers into the crook of her neck. "I think I'm dreaming right now, and I don't know how far I can take this without waking up."

Before Nesta can show him how decidedly awake they both are, her entire body freezes up as his roaming hands near the soft flesh of her sides. Muscle memory makes her abdomen clench in defense, and Cassian stills instantly, pulling away to look her in the eyes.

No, no, no! This is not the time for her body to overreact, not when she's so close to everything she's been wanting, needing for weeks. And still, her hands fly to grasp Cassian's wrists at her sides.

"Nesta?" His calloused fingers scrape against her skin, so different from Tomas's hands when they touched her. She shuts her eyes and takes a breath, trying to force herself back to that heartdropping state of arousal.

"Just—give me a moment," she promises. Her body is awake in anticipation, not of a good fucking but of being pinched and bruised blue.

"Nesta," Cassian says again, lower now. There's a hint of warning in his voice, but it's not directed at her.

She peeks open her eyes. Cassian looks deadly serious above her, and he peels his hands away from her sides to place them on the mattress instead. "What's wrong."

She clambers for something to say that won't completely kill the mood. "I'm ticklish?"

He isn't buying it, scanning her face intently for the truth instead.

It's not that Nesta doesn't want to tell him. It's that she doesn't want to tell him now, when she's already learned what an orgasm from Cassian feels like and she's been promised another one.

No way in hell will her ex-boyfriend get in the way of her first hookup since she left him. The unjustness of it ignites a frustration in her that burns away any lingering anxiety.

She places her hands on Cassian's, bringing them firmly back to her sides. Softly, she tilts her head up to peck his lips and whisper against his mouth, "You still have time to learn everything about me. I'll teach you myself. But right now..."

Her hand snakes down his hard abdomen, finding his thick length and squeezing. "I want to be fucked."

This truth, Cassian believes.

"I'll hold you to that promise," he warns before he dips his head, taking a pink nipple into his mouth and suckling hard. Nesta's damn eyes roll back at the perfection of this scene, this sensation that goes beyond physical pleasure, as he releases her nipple with a pop. "I'll learn everything." Not just her body, but her secrets, her soul, the way she breathes and feels and thinks.

What a terrifying vulnerability, yet her core tightens at the thought of it.

Cassian slips his hands beneath Nesta's thighs, supporting her as his cock finally, finally settles between her legs, pressing insistently against her slick entrance.

Nesta can't describe the sound she makes when he finally pushes into her, the luxurious stretch snapping an emotional cord in her. In Cassian, too, from the way he has to bow his head for a moment, his face pressed into her chest as they both catch their breaths.

After a long moment, he begins to move inside her at a steady pace that nearly makes her keen. Nesta can only let him grind her into the mattress, let him explore and play and touch while she writhes beneath him, head spinning so fast she's on the verge of blacking out. She couldn't have predicted such— closeness.

Clenching tight enough around his cock to make him swear, Nesta attaches her lips to the line of a compass tattoo on Cassian's bicep, shutting her eyes against the intensity of his gaze.

"Can't believe I don't have to pretend not to be obsessed with these anymore," Cassian rasps, palming a full breast. He rolls his thumb over her stiff nipple in fascination.

"As if you ever hid it," Nesta grits out, shuddering beneath him. She swallows down the obscene sounds rising up her throat. Not that it matters— her desperate panting seems to be doing more for Cassian than loud moans ever could. Raw tension laces his body as he pumps harder into her.

His thrusts hit so close to a spot she didn't know existed before now, awakening a greedy new ache—

"Lift your hips for me, baby." As if he can read her mind. Nesta arches her hips off the bed on instinct, allowing Cassian the angle to slide deeper than she thought possible, to grind against that sensitive patch of skin and fill her completely.

Holy shit. She doesn't know if she says the words aloud or not, because her face is pressed into the sweat-dampened pillow, eyes fluttering rapidly as she withstands this new immense pleasure.

Cassian's low moan tells her he knows how she feels. She's so close.

"Look at me, Nesta," he demands.

Nesta shakes her head fiercely into the pillowcase, unwilling to meet his gaze when she's strung up this tight. She might explode if she even breathes wrong.

"Open your eyes," he orders more urgently this time. His hand finds her face, forcing her to turn to him. She gasps at the next thrust, her eyes flying open to meet Cassian's dark hazel ones. The way he's looking at her—

He rubs a thumb down her cheek. "Beautiful."

She isn't prepared for the intensity of the release that barrels through her. She isn't aware of the sounds she makes as she clenches repeatedly around Cassian, hands scrabbling for a way out of this neverending rapture. It's too much, more than she can handle, and she can't—

Cassian clutches Nesta like a lifeline, his hips picking up speed. Through the last ebbs of her climax, Nesta winds her fingers through his hair, bringing him down for a final kiss. She holds him tight as he spills inside her, groaning desperately into her mouth.

Later, when dopamine floods her system and her muscles turn numb with relaxation, Nesta will think that there's a word for how she's feeling right now. She won't know what it is, though.

***

Cassian can't help but be proud of himself for keeping his cool. For not coming within five seconds of getting Nesta in his arms and around his cock, but also for not blurting anything embarrassingly vulnerable during their first time together. Or their second and third times.

Nesta isn't great with vulnerability, even now. But he's watching her try to grow comfortable with it as she traces one of his tattoos, her naked body propped half on top of his.

"I usually hate tattoos," she murmurs softly, almost to herself. "I cringe every time Feyre gets a new one. But these are nice."

Cassian glances down to where her finger points at the elaborate phoenix tattoo on his pectoral. "What do you like about them?" he asks. With Nesta, there's always a reason.

"I like their placement." She trails that finger down his chest with studious focus. "I like the dark lines; it reminds me of my coloring books." Her finger stops on a Celtic knot on the side of his ribs. "Overall, very aesthetically pleasing."

He chuckles. "Thank you for the stellar review."

She glances up at him then, those blue-gray eyes even more arresting now than the first time he saw them. He's never understood how they can be the same color as Feyre's yet so different.

"I still can't believe you walked out in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner to be here," she whispers. "What will your friends say?"

Cassian’s arm tightens around her. He's still not sure of the answer to that question. His phone blew up with so many texts and calls on the drive here that at one point he just turned it off, but he'll still have to come up with some believable excuse for his behavior.

He tries to find an answer to Nesta's question.

"I’ve known most of those guys for fifteen years," he finally says, "and I’ve only had you for a couple of months. I wanted more time with you." It's the best reasoning he can provide right now.

“Maybe I should feel bad.” He stares up at the ceiling. “But I just can’t.”

Nesta hums in thought. "You must really like me."

Cassian swallows. "Yeah. I do."

"You have for a long time, according to your words." She rests her chin on the crook of his shoulder and looks up at him. "How long? Since I first moved in?"

He thinks back to that fateful night, Nesta standing rainsoaked in his foyer with wary eyes. A turning point in his life, yes, but there was a night before that.

"Do you remember our first meeting?"

The overpriced restaurant that Feyre chose to introduce her blood family to her chosen family. The dim lighting that glanced off the silver pins in Nesta's hair, and her solemn stare as she inspected Cassian and his friends in her detached way.

Her eyes narrow, but she nods.

"I noticed you before I even noticed Feyre or Rhys," Cassian says. "You just... demanded attention. You never gave it, though. I spent all night being louder than usual, sneaking looks at you, but I couldn't even get a second glance in return."

Nesta's mouth tightens. "And what then?"

"The night ended. I forgot about you and moved on." She was like a shooting star: fascinating and beautiful for the brief moment she passed through his life, but quickly dismissed afterward. That initial impression of Nesta faded so much over the years that when Cassian finally reunited with her in his cabin, he was shocked by the magnitude of her existence all over again.

Nesta stays quiet, thinking. "You did get my attention," she finally says.

Cassian's brows raise, but she continues, "I thought you were too loud, too absorbed in your own friends to ever be worth having a conversation with. But I was just being snooty and... jealous." She looks down at the planes of his brown skin. "If I wasn't busy being comfortable in my role as social outcast, I would have thought you were kind. You looked like you wouldn't mind being my friend— that's why I noticed you. But you weren't my friend, and you couldn't be, and that's why I made myself look down on you."

Her eyes glitter when they dart back up to him, and her hand starts absentmindedly tracing another tattoo. "I do that sometimes," she murmurs. "Build a whole relationship in my head with someone I've just met, and then get mad when it isn't reality."

Cassian pulls a strand of hair back from her face. "That's called wanting to make friends, Nes. It's just that that part is usually followed by, you know, actually making friends."

She pouts adorably. "That's the part I suck at."

He can't help it. He leans forward and kisses the little beauty mark at the corner of Nesta's mouth, the mark that nearly received more attention than her lips tonight. Memories of the rest of the moles scattered along Nesta's body flood Cassian: her shoulder blade, her ribs, below her ass cheek, and that damn spot on her thigh he's been eyeing since week one. He's tasted every single one of them several times by now.

"You finally did it," he says against her mouth. "You got me as your friend and more, and now you have all those guys from school, too. You can get whatever the hell you want when you aren't holding yourself back."

She rolls her eyes, but evidence of a smile pulls at her lips. "Save the motivational speeches for my therapist."

Another thing Cassian is eternally proud of: Nesta finding a professional she's comfortable with and having her first session coming up soon.

"And what do you want?" she asks before his thoughts can trail off.

He blinks up at her. "Hm?"

She shifts on top of him to face him better. "We're always talking about my feelings and wants and needs. I don't think I've ever learned about what you want."

What does he want? He opens his mouth, but doesn't know how to answer. Shit, he's never had to answer that question. He's never been asked it.

"Take your time," Nesta assures him after a moment of silence. She's not being sarcastic.

He inhales the scent of her hair, thinking.

"You know," he finally says, "I'm always talking with my friends, and I always leave the conversation feeling like I didn't say a thing that was worth anything. Nothing serious, nothing weighty, nothing thoughtful. And it's not a bad thing, technically, but sometimes I just want to have a real conversation with them. Like the ones I have with you."

He doesn't know when he and Nesta started having those types of conversations. Maybe they fell seamlessly into it: she would ask him how to interpret different tones over text, and he would ask her about whatever legal concept or romance novel she was currently obsessed with. The topic didn't have to be serious, as long as their words were. It was the flawless exchange of intelligence, ideas, and opinions that he wasn't even aware he craved.

"What else do you want?" she says.

To not be relegated to comedic relief all the time. To be chosen first.

He boops her nose. "You've ruined me. I have everything I want now."

Nesta sneers down at him. "God, you're predictable." She's about to push off his chest when he pulls her back in, rolling them over so they're on their sides.

He tucks her head under his chin. "Nesta?"

"Hm."

"We're not gonna backpedal after this, right?"

She sighs into the crook of his neck. "No. We like each other. You're my boyfriend now." She says it like she's telling him the time or the weather.

Into her hair, Cassian starts to smile, any lingering doubts at once assuaged.

Some things you just know instantly, like how Cassian knew the minute he met Mor that they would be friends for life, or how he knew Feyre wouldn't have any trouble fitting into his family. Like how he knows now that he loves Nesta, even if he can't tell her just yet. He'll just have to keep pretending he only likes her.

***

a/n: the tattoo artist that designed the new acotar covers has some sick work so a lot of cassian's tattoos are based off their art (but smaller) :)

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#a favor #ncssianwrites #nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #nessian fic #nessian au

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