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#I didn’t realize she never got a doll from that line until I saw this one lol
radio-navlee · 2 days
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Don’t Be Such a Jerk! (Draft)
Draft notes:
-Characters out of character
-NOT FINISHED PRODUCT!!
-outline of what future Fic will be about
-not my best work
-story line so far doesn’t make sense
-enjoy
(GIF goes here)
Lee: Jax
Ler: Ragatha
(summary here, hurt to comfort prompt)
(author note?)
WARNING!!!⚠️: TICKLE FIC!! self harm?(maybe)
Many people would describe their favorite lovable bunny rabbit as; jerk, asshole, annoying, and maybe even a dumb bunny. But Jax never saw himself as that, he saw himself as a rabbit who just knew what was really happening. The truth is, he just needs people to talk too.
Sure he finds it funny to pick on people to get a funny reaction here or there. But usually he’s just mad, mad that he can’t let anything out in fear of ruining the way people see him.
While strolling through the park outside the tent, Ragatha thought back right after their adventure. Caine did his speech, somebody made a comment, and everybody spilt up. Gangle went to her room, Pomni went exploring, Kinger went to find bugs or whatever, (Ragatha didn’t pay attention, she heard bugs and dipped) Zooble went back to their room as well, and Jax he… well… Ragatha forgot where he went, it was like he vanished as soon as they got back.
Strange, what a weird thing Jax would do. I don’t think Ragatha even remembers seeing him at Caine speech. As Ragatha connected the dots, trying to figure out why Jax was missing, she wondered father and father away from the tent. In the distance, she could see somebody huddled under a tree, laughing? No that’s not right, was it shaking? Anyways, she decided to get closer to see what it was about when she suddenly realized a familiar shape. Purple skin, bunny ears, pink overalls…. Is that Jax?
Jax on the other hand was not having such a great time. He tugged at his ears and had his knees up to his chest, he gulped air until he started coughing. He eyes watered with tears and lost in his own thoughts, he mumbled a mumble to himself only probably dogs could understand. His voice cracked with every groan he let out, and he was practically kicking up dirt with his feet.
With Ragatha getting closer he looked over to see a blue dressed red head coming closer, he ignored it until he heard
“JAX?” Shouted by Ragatha, causing him to snap back into reality. With Ragatha 3 feet in front of him now, he touched his face slowly whipping his tears, he regulated his breathing, and looked up.
“Jax? Are you ok?” The rag doll asked, holding out a hand. Jax looked mortified shaking his head.
“No, no, no… back up!” He insisted
“Jax I want to help!” Ragatha stepped closer
“Don’t come closer! I mean it!” Jax put his hands up to block her but it was no use as Ragatha sat infront of Jax.
“You wanna tell me what happened?”
“No! I mean- why am I talking to you!” Jax questioned
“Jax just open up!”
“I’m leaving!” Jax went to get up but-
“No Jax!” Ragatha grabbed and pulled his arm down. He sat cross cross Apple sauce infront of her
“Tell me what happened, I don’t think I would let my self brush this off!”
“Doll! Let me go it was nothing!” Jax furrowed his brows tugging at his arm
“Jax if you tell me what wrong I’ll leave you alone!”
“NO LET GO!”
Lord help Ragatha, she knew Jax was stubborn but jeez! Going back and forth with “Tell me!” And “No!”s Ragatha felt as she was just wasting time.
“You don’t understand!”
“I promise I will!” Finally, Jax opened up!
“I can’t believe I’m still talking to you!” Jax groaned
“Just spill!” Ragatha begged
“It’s stupid, but I… I- I can’t regulate my mind, my thoughts, everything I think get piled up in my brain, what little brain I have left and..” Jax voice cracked, swallowing the lump in his throat.
“It feels like I can’t think straight, all the things I say takes up so much effort to not come out in a jumbly mess, it’s so tiring..” Jax folded up his knees to his chest, laying his aching head against his knees and bringing his hands up to, again, tug on his ears.
“Jax, stop that!” Ragatha swatted at his fidgeting hands
“No, it feels good!” He raised his head back up to yell at her
“Jax the base of your ears are red! It looks like it hurts if anything!” Ragatha raised her hands from her lap to massage the base.
“..No!” Jax dodged the hands, putting his head back down into his knees. Letting out a soft cry, Ragatha stopped and pulled him into a hug.
Jax’s soft cry stopped, his eye widened,
“Stohop!” He cried
“No Jax”
“Please!”
“My answer is still a no!” God, has Jax never been hugged in his life? Why is he acting like this?
“Let me goho! (Inhale) let me go!” His cry’s stopped turning into a sob. Ragatha held his head close to her chest and used a free hand to pet his head
“Shhh, Jax I understand how you’re feeling, just let it out.” Ragatha soothed
“Phlehehease, (inhale) don’t treat me like this!” Jax was practically in broken pieces, sobbing, tugging on his pants, resisting the hug,
“Jax…” Ragatha whispered
Jax stoped complaining, now he was just sobbing
“It’s going to be ok!” Ragatha held his head and looked into his eyes,
“I don’t- I don’t wanna be like- (inhale) -like this! I wanna be normal! I don’t wanna cry!” Jax pleaded
“I know Jax, I know.”
“Mahake it stop!” Jax whined eventually just giving into the hug and leaning into the rag doll. Ragatha has never seen Jax so emotionally embarrassed in her life, she wished he wasn’t such a jerk the rest of the time.
“Jax there’s no need to feel embarrassed,”
“Nooo! Don’t tahalk!” Jax whined like a sad toddler
“Look Jax, now that I know you’re hurting, so I now empathize with you. I also can see right through you, Jax, you are probably only a jerk to others because you don’t want people to think you have feelings. Playing pranks and being mean to others just so you don’t expose yourself as emotionally immature.” Ragatha explained
“No! Please just stop talking! I don’t want to hear it!” Jax covered his ears with his hands and shut his eyes causing the remaining tears to fall from his face.
“Oh Jax,” Ragatha frowned, stroking the top of his head
Once Jax knew she wasn’t explaining his life decisions, he un cupped his ears and scratched at the red inflamed bases. Ragatha noticed this quickly and softly slapped at his hands,
“Jax’s I already told you to stop doing that!” Ragatha held his wrists
“Nggh! Let me- ugh! Let me do it!” Jax struggled against the grab
“Jax no you’re just hurting your self!” Ragatha said as she let go of Jax’s wrist and used her own hands to try to help Jax shake the fidgety feeling in his ears.
The sudden touch to his raw ears made Jax flinch a tad. Relaxing to the touch after a while until-
“Eh- Wahait!” Jax went to reach for the dolls hands and she moved up from her original spot
“What?”
“Doholl! Dohont change your spoAH!” Jax tweaked as Ragatha tested out new information and slightly tickled the tops of his ears
“ThahHAT wohorSE!!”
“Heh, you should laugh more Jax!” Ragatha said in amusement.
“Shuhut ihit!”
“Noho! Reheally! You have such a nice laugh, you need to use it more!” She chuckled
“GahaHAHa!!” Jax squirmed from compliments
Ragatha hummed above Jax watching his nose scrunch up every now and then, little barely noticeable snorts coming from it, as he hugged himself. With that the sun flipped with the moon and it was time for everyone to head back to the circus tent.
“Ohok ohok! Let’s go!” Jax giggled
“Jax…. Do you come here often?” Ragatha sighed
“What?”
“Is this your place to go to when you feel like what you felt earlier?”
“I’d rather not talk about that doll face,” Jax growled
“Jax, it’s just a question”
“I don’t need you to baby me!” Jax grumped, back to his usual self I see.
“whatever Jax, just know I’m here if you need to talk, ok?”
“Fine! Just don’t tell anybody about this!” He glared
“Your feelings are safe with me” Ragatha crossed her arms, as they both headed back to the tent.
(DRAFT! Which means they may be a little out of character🥲)
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worm-in-a-trenchcoat · 10 months
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I’m kinda bummed the SDCC doll is Draculaura, I wish they would do less of the main ghouls and more of the background/side characters again.
But I am glad she finally got a Freak Du Chic doll! And she’s actually really cute and I do plan on buying her if I can afford her when she drops!
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They could have done something really cool with her stand instead of making it so basic tho, like they could’ve made it so you can actually hang her upside down.
That would’ve been so cool 😭
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rookiesbookies · 4 months
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Inspired by my lovely mutual @shotmrmiller and a second submission to #Soapitup (im summonimg you again @glitterypirateduck ). Im actually going to name this one and it’s called:
A doll and his loser.
Its loser!reader x sex doll!Reboot!Soap
Masterlist is pinned on profile as always, don’t forget to leave me a comment or a request in my inbox to let me know what yall want to see!
Especially let me know if you want part two
Fic under the cut as always.
Edit: im incredibly dyslexic im so sorry for typos
When the line of 141 sex dolls, which were based on random men she had never heard of who seemed just magically created for this line, showed in a sketching email in her inbox, she must have been truly weak that night. She had been incredibly drunk and disappointed by a man who just didn’t even bother to bring her pleasure. So of course she ordered the sketchy, ‘satisfaction guaranteed’ doll. There were choices, quite a few actually. But it was the beefy Scottsman that stood out against the rest, she couldn’t tell you why. Maybe it was his soft face, his muscles, or maybe the outfit he came with, it could even be his hair. Sure there was a photo of what his cock looked like on the sight, a normal length with a great amount of girth, but she wasn’t too picky.
She had completely forgotten about the lifelike sex doll she ordered, she learned was named ‘Johnny’ until the giant box that weighed more than she did sat on her doorstep. She quickly shoved the package marked ‘fragile’ in her door. The gibberish language on the side of the box wasn’t one she recognized, she realized as she struggled to get the box in. She gently put the box on its side before grabbing a butter knife from her kitchen.
When she got the sides of the box open she saw his face. So much softer in person, with his long lashes and plush cheeks. She traced her thumb over his cheek and over his lips before his eyes gently fluttered open at her touch. He seemed almost surprised before his eyes relaxed. It must be the personality software? It did say something about that. His eyes a crazy blue, the kind that looks like the ocean meeting the sky, they were so glossy and sweet, they seemed, truthfully, real. She brushed it off, its just a doll, this was a high tech sex doll, at least that's what the marketing said.
He studied her features and watched to lean into her warm touch, but his rigid body wouldn’t allow it.
She did her best to get the heavy doll out of its box. Dragging it into her bedroom. Even his hair is life-like, which was crazy.
When she got him onto her bed she propped him up against the headboard of her bed, his eyes watching her every move as she walked back out to search for his manual.
“Stupid company didn’t even send me a manual.” She grumbled, a few things were written on the box.
‘Ejaculates like a real man!’ ‘Life-like groans!’ ‘Tease him to get him up!’ ‘Built like a real stallion!’ There was a forth thing that the words had pulled off of when she tore off the tape, now it was illegible but she saw it pointed to the lips, so she assumed they were ‘soft like a real man’s!’
He was almost static in whatever position she put him in, one of his arms hovering in the weird position she left it in.
He seemed almost too lifelike, the way his eyes watched her.
“What?” She asked, “you seem surprised.”
She was met with silence.
“Oh, who am I kidding, you’re a fucking doll. You’re not going to reply to me, this isn’t some X rated Toy Story movie.” She grumbled before her stomach grumbled back. So she left her doll man to get some food.
She cooked herself a quick meal then went to go shower, completely forgetting about the doll as she stripped until she noticed the large bump in his change.
“I didn’t realize stripping to shower meant teasing,” she thought out loud. “At least now I can check if you were marketed correctly.”
She gently undid the belt on the doll’s pants, which seemed like real high quality jeans a real person would wear, before undoing the button and the zipper. Sliding down the waistband of his underwear she noticed the monster.
Her eyes flew wide, “maybe I should ask for measurements next time,” she mumbled, she wanted to faint. “They didn’t tell me you had a horse cock, big guy,’ she chuckled to herself, his eyes almost looking prideful, pupils seeming larger with almost bedroom eyes. They must have some crazy tech.
“I must really be losing it, talking to myself,” she sighed.
She let her fingers gently graze his dick before she spit on her hand, she wrapped her fingers around his fat cock delicately, not reaching all the way around. She sighed before getting up to pull more lube from her night stand. One of her hands, now covered in lube, began to massage him while her other hand began to rub around her pussy.
She hummed, mumbling about how needy she was, how guys had disappointed her in the past, what she wanted. This went on for a few minutes until she was sure she was prepped, awkwardly climbing on top of her beefcake sex doll before lining him up with her hole and sinking down. His eyes rolled back but she didn’t notice because her’s did too.
“Oh fuck,” she mumbled almost pitifully, letting her head fall against his hairy chest, a tattoo of a Scottish flag pulled tight on one of his pecs. “I haven’t been filled like this in so long.”
She sat there and adjusted, hands balled into fists against the doll’s chest. A chest that felt so warm and inviting.
She slowly began to rock her hips, soft whimpers and moans falling from her lips that got louder as she began to bounce on him. She supported herself with one hand while the other was in her mouth to suffocate her louder moans. Her eyes teary from the girth of him.
The doll let out little groans and moans too that slipped from behind his sealed lips.
It wasn’t long before her tight walls began to flutter, he came almost instantly when they began to flutter, she gasped at the feeling but kept going until she reached her own peak. But it wasn’t quite enough, so she kept bouncing. He came faster and faster, cock starting to ache because of the bonnie lass that was riding it. With a cunt like that on him he couldn’t help but shoot hot, white spirts into her.
When she got off him, it slid down her inner thigh, she swiped it up and stuck it in her mouth which made him almost faint.
“Jeez, it tastes real too,” she said like a question before walking away.
She got a wash cloth she had been planning to use for a shower and cleaned up the dolly with gentle touches. She felt like she needed to treat him like a real man, he was so close it seemed. She zipped his pants back up and set him on the ground before putting a sleep mask over his eyes.
“Nothing personal, I just don’t know how to put you in sleep mode and I don’t want to accidentally turn your dick on again when I get out of the shower.” She said before hopping in the bathroom. Her pussy was sore to say the least, but the good kind, the kind that makes a girl feel well used and fulfilled, she did her best to get the most of that fake cum out of her cunt.
After she scrubbed herself clean of the day and of that fulfilling session with her doll she made her way back into her room and flopped on her bed before crashing and falling asleep.
She used him about every other day or so for the next couple weeks before she started ovulating. She was like a bitch in heat, her body couldn’t calm down. She was flushed and couldn’t stop. She had two days off from work and pulled Johnny from where he had been set on the chair, returning him to her bed. The weird doll must have realized something weird was happening because it- he- was immediately hard. She immediately got on too of him, she had tried other positions but cowgirl was just the easiest by far with Johnny. She immediately lubed herself and him up, pumping him twice to make sure he was fully hard before sliding on.
The broken moans that fell from her mouth were a chorus of angels singing in his ears.
“I feel like such a loser,” she whined, “talking to and fucking a sex doll instead of a real guy, i feel like a weirdo.”
She put her head to his chest with whimpers falling from her mouth. He had already cum, his noises turning to the broken ones they always did before he came, a nice audio cue for the doll to have.
“Just a little more, please,” she whined to her doll.
After she rode out her high she laid sprawled out against his chest.
“I wonder how you’d be im bed if you were real,” she asked no one in particular. She was so especially weak right now. Ovulation making her so needy and sad, she couldn’t help but place a gentle kiss to his stiff lips as she let her eyes flutter closed to take a breather before the horny took back over.
She didn’t feel his stiff body relax, she didn’t notice anything until his plastic-y fingers ran up and down her waist.
“You won’t have to wonder any more, bonnie lass.” His voice was a low grumble in here ear, his scottish accent loud and clear. “How do you want it, I’m going to take good care of you.”
Hope you have a wonderful day, lovely reader💜 you deserve it
ALSO SIMON’S IS UP NOW.
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st4rymoon · 9 months
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𝘖𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴
Miguel x Spanish speaking reader
Story is mostly in english but both Miguel and reader speak Spanish. Some translations are added since the english translations don’t sound good for what I was trying to say, sorry ☹️
Context: Miguel was always oblivious to others flirting but it crossed the line when he apologizes for you.
Includes: arguing, jealousy, angst, fluff, kissing, Miguel sweet talking, ft. Gwen and hobie, language. No use of y/n.
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Miguel usually wasn’t oblivious to most situations but when it comes to flirting, he certainly is. You’ve been happily dating for almost a year now and you soon realized he never realized when others were flirting with him.
At first you thought he liked it, maybe he enjoyed the attention which made you iffy but you soon came to realize he genuinely didn’t see it as people flirting with him.
Today, you were made aware that a new spider was found. You didn’t think anything of it until you were laying on the couch with Gwen laying close to you as she went in about her highschool life.
Both of you sat up slightly as you saw a blonde haired girl stuck to Miguel’s side with a wide grin. She gripped onto his arms, stopping him in his tracks and blabbering on about how nice his eyes were.
“Uh oh”
Gwen got up from your side and watched you in amusement. Your face didn’t move a muscle, you watch Miguel closely. Sure you could yank that girls hair out but that wouldn’t do much, you knew if Miguel broke then you’d much rather yank his hair out rather than hers.
After all she was probably oblivious to the fact that he was with someone. Miguel’s eyes darted to you, a smile growing on his face as he made his way to you “doll this is grace, the new spider”
Before you could give her a smile, the new girl gave you a dirt look followed by an eye roll “you have a girlfriend?” She hissed “yeah I mentioned I was with someone in the society” Miguel shrugged, walking away from her and planting himself next to you.
You still have a friendly smile, your eye trying it’s best not to twitch in anger. Gwen on the other hand was trying not to burst into laughter “what’s up with you” Miguel questioned toward Gwen.
“Gosh Miguel you are so damn oblivious, it’s going to get the best of you one day” Gwen chuckled as she swung out of the room. Now it was only the three of you, the blonde haired newbie sitting in front of you both.
“So how long have you been together?” She smiled with a bothered undertone. “Almost a year” you smiled “oh so nothing serious” she laughed as she leaned down into her seat “well much more serious than any relationships you’ve been in I guess” you gritted your teeth.
Miguel gave you a look, almost as to tell you to shut up. Your eyes narrowed at him, sure he was oblivious but what she just said was obviously hostile toward you. “Sorry she can sound a little passive aggressive” Miguel softly smiled.
You scoffed, getting up from your seat and pushing past Miguel’s legs. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. Was he really apologizing for you? For snapping back at disrespect thrown towards the both of you?
“Where are you going?” Miguel sighed as he realized what he said came off wrong. You didn’t say a word, if he was more concerned to not hurt this girls feelings then you weren’t dealing with him.
You swung down the hallway with fury in your eyes, hobie threw a hand up in cheer as he noticed your anger. He was always one to enjoy rebellion especially aganist Miguel and he could see you were about to do something that would certainly piss him off.
Miguel had told you to never go through universes unless it was truly needed but you could care less. You just wanted to go back home for a little, get out of this hell for just a few hours.
-
Back at HQ Miguel was yelling his head off looking for you, only hobie had seen where you had gone and he happily tampered with the cameras so no one else knew.
“Who the hell messed with the cameras!” Miguel screamed “gosh she’s so damn dramatic, where the hell is she” he groaned. Grace watched as Miguel scattered around, Gwen watched her closely as she went up to Miguel.
“You know, if she’s making you this stressed… maybe you need someone who would keep your feelings in mind” she cooed. Gwen’s eyes narrowed, she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “And what the hell does that mean” Miguel yelled, making the newbie scatter back.
“I- I- I’ve always been told I’m a great stress reliever, I can listen” she smiled. Miguel scoffed “not happening, now get the yell out of my face PETER! Peter get her out of here I don’t have time for this”
You watched through your phone as Gwen sent you the videos, sometimes her nosiness was useful. You felt a little bad knowing you were making Miguel turn everything upside down looking for you, but you just needed to be alone for a few.
Your thoughts were cut short as you heard a portal open from behind you “Finally” you heard Miguel sigh as he walked up to you out of breath. “Why wouldn’t you fucking tell me where you went huh? I had to get it out of Hobie!” He huffed.
You didn’t bother looking up. Those words repeated in your mind. Maybe all you did was stress Miguel out, did you really never think about his feelings?
You knew it was stupid to take her words seriously. “I needed sometime alone” you whispered. “What? Why wouldn’t you just fucking tel-“
“I NEEDED SOME TIME ALONE MIGUEL YA! That stupid girl following you around, and you? Defending her? Apologizing for me? Who the fuck do I look like? Maybe all I do is stress you out like she said but trust me, Miguel if it was the other way around, having someone follow me around like that. You would’ve done the same thing or worse”
Your voice was shaky “I know I’m a handful, ya lo sé. So if you want her then that’s fine” Miguel’s eyes softened. Gosh you were so dramatic at times, just like he was when he got jealous.
“Stop being so dramatic, pinche dramática” he chuckled. You threw your shoe at him with an eye roll “por qué te haces? You know I loved you chula” he cooed.
Miguel fell to his knees, his head landing on your lap “yeah you might be a hand full but so am I, that’s why we go so well. And trust me I don’t want that new girl, why would I need anyone else when I have the world in front of me?” He smiled.
You tried to hide the smile on your face, gosh he was such a sweet talker. “yo miró la sonrisa” he smiles, his finger lifting your face up from below you to connect your eyes.
Your glossy eyes looked down at his “you’re the one I love, no one else.” Miguel pulled you down for a kiss, his soft plump lips hit yours as both of you moan into each other.
“I’m sorry muñeca, I’m so so sorry. I know I was wrong for apologizing for you and I’m not going to make excuses, it was wrong for me to do.”
“I’m sorry too” you panted between the kiss “next time let’s both communicate better yeah? Los dos de mal” miguel sighed.
You both stayed on the rooftop for a few hours, making out then laying in each others warmth then making out. Once you both made it to HQ, he leaned down to your ear “she won’t be seen here anymore”
an: newbie was not hard harmed after, just kicked out if it sounded a little threatening…
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jackiequick · 1 year
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A simple meeting between looks <3
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She met him at the Hard Deck, seeing him flirting with another girl as she sat down in front of counter. She sat quietly, obviously deserving every facial feature and movement, getting jags from the other pilot.
She clearly recognized Rooster, no doubt about it and didn’t notice her Uncle Mav walking into the bar as she spaced out. Suddenly she felt a pair of eyes on her, as she eyed him immediately. Like a deer in headlights, their eyes flicker around the room then back at each other side.
He watched her simple deter aura from across the way. She was gorgeous in his eyes, blonde, pretty cute curls and green almost blue eyes. Lips oh so plump and juicy as a smile rose to the corner of her cheeks. Her class smile just showed creativity and love, attitude towards the attention seeker that he was. Jake didn’t hesitate and walked up to her lowering his drink on the counter, “Hi.”
She turned to face him returning the smile, “Hello there.” Her eyes watch the pilot knowing that ‘Oh he was confident and a good trouble from a mile away’ but she loved that about it. She continued, “May I help you Mr…?”
“Seresin. Jake. At your service ma’am. What’s a fine gal like you doing in a place like this?” He replied with that honey covered southern charm and voice that can make any girl melt. Weak at the knees and hardly breathe kinda charm. Damn was he good. He watched her eyes flash and cheeks blushing a rosy red grin, knowing he got her now..hopefully. He then asked, “Did get your name..”
“Damn your good. You are good, Jake. I’m Amber. Amber Kazansky, Lieutenant or should I call you, Hangman?” She smirked hanging off every word grinning ear to ear, as her cheeks popped out with natural rose color watching his face light up. A deer in headlights watching the realization hit his face like a ton of bricks, of course she figured out who he was. She looked over the paperwork on the pilots and their RIO. She continued her line, “You alright darling?”
To say Jake was supposedly surprised was a nothing, he was beyond flabbergasted at his realization, his eyes said it all. He was crushing on the Admiral’s kid, of course he would. In his eyes, he saw the first opening scene and a level of opportunities he would get with her by his side. He barley knew her, at least only heard stories how she knows things like your Callsign before you even said by just the guessing words..by he never saw the face to claim that beauty or the voice it belong to her. Yup he’s falling in love with images he’s playing in his head.
But he played it cool and laughs enjoying your company. She laughed shaking her head liking the Ken Doll already. In her eyes Amber had plenty of imagine playing in her head of him. She heard of the man who leave you solo in the skys only since he doesn’t know how to play correctly, always prepared for almost anything and has his ego shine whenever needed. She heard and saw on photo of the beautiful man in front of her who smelled like spring sun and warm hot chocolate after a stressful day. Heavenly to her eyes and ears. They stayed in that calming zone of pure silence trying to read each other like a news letter, smiling and a scene of pure chaos playing in the background.
Until Jake broke the gaze they were in grinning brightly, “I would say if i may buy you a drink? But it seems you already got one.” He chuckled pointing to the drink served by Penny just a while back that was sitting next to his. She chuckled matching the grin, “Well you may buy me the next around.”
Neither of the two thought much it the rest of the afternoon, but little did they know they would see each other a lot more often. With the Lieutenant on his mission and The Admiral’s daughter keeping watch of the playing field. 
Hope you enjoy the mini short! What do you guys think? I tried my best lol
Tags: @mandylove1000 @eagerforthesky @yetanotherwells @youlightmeupfinn @t-nd-rfoot @gaminggirlsstuff @grimreaperatnight @topgun-imagines @happilycameron @msrochelleromanofffelton @gcthvile @rooster-84 and etc.
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wkemeup · 4 years
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Graveyard
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summary: As the unofficial healer for the Avengers, you pride yourself on the ability to mend heroes with the touch of your hand. Only, your gift comes at a heavy price — one you keep secret from your friends —and when Bucky asks you to do the impossible, they’ll discover why your gift is called a sacrifice, too.  pairing: bucky x healer!reader word count: 10k warnings: canon level violence
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As a child, you were told it was a gift; placed upon a pedestal above the quaint suffering of a rural town and removed of your innocence for the good of strangers. You’d been made to be revered – honored – for the touch that could mend the broken.  
It began with a cut upon your father’s finger – a slip of a kitchen knife that had left a small bead of blood in its wake. Curious eyes glanced up at your father as he hissed at the sting of it and you’d reach forward to place your infant hand upon the cut, a grip so mall it barely wrapped around his finger. He stilled as a soft glow began to emit from your palm. When you removed your hand and began to cry, your father was stunned to find his skin perfectly intact – no trace of a scar in its place.  
They told you it was a gift, celebrated you as if you were a blessing from Heaven itself. But they were cruel in their rejoice, selfish in their praise. They had not considered your gift was not a gift at all – but a sacrifice.  
Like energy, pain could not be destroyed— but it could be absorbed. It could be transferred. Your father’s cut had not simply disappeared, but instead manifested on the finger of an infant for a few short moments before it faded into your skin; laid to rest amongst a sea of foreign injuries that did not belong to you.  
“Look sharp, kid! We’ve got incoming,” Banner’s voice startled you from your thoughts as he stood at the doorway to your lab. Arms folded over his chest, an amused smirk upon his face, he must have caught sight of the quinjet landing in the hanger from the windows overlooking the loading dock.  
You nodded, setting down the drill beside the stun absorption pad you were engineering for Stark’s newest suit. You didn't have to wonder long who was on the latest mission and currently on their way to your office, because a familiar bickering began to carry down the hall and into the lab, forcing a smile onto your face.  
For a mechanical engineer, you saw more of the Avengers post-mission than the med wing did these days. You’d been hired for your multiple PhDs and borderline genius IQ, but once you’d rushed across the room to spare Stark from a rather unpleasant laceration on his palm from an experiment gone haywire, your lab had quickly become a rotating door of injured Avengers.  
Sure enough, Barnes and Wilson stumbled their way into the lab, Sam draped over Bucky’s shoulder, barely able to put any pressure on his left leg. While Sam tossed you his charismatic grin and those big, round, puppy dog eyes, Bucky favored to dispose of his partner on the lab table with an aggravated grunt.  
“What do we have today?” you smirked, rolling up the sleeves of your coat as Bruce shook his head in amusement.  
“Broken ankle, I think,” Sam replied, gesturing to the mess of bandages and improvised splint.  
You nodded as you stepped closer, examining the injury before you brushed a hand over the swollen joint. Sam whined at the contact, the pain clearly breaking through the lighthearted grin upon his face though he tried to suppress it. His hand curled into a fist.  
“You know I’m not a medical doctor, but I’d have to agree,” you nodded, planting your hands on your hips.  
“You could just get the x-rays and go through PT like a normal person,” Bucky grumbled off in his corner of the room, narrowing his eyes in warning upon his partner. “She’s not here as your personal healer, Wilson.”  
Bucky was always hesitant of your powers. He never said why, but you wondered most days if he was still seeking penance for the evils he’d committed under Hydra, if maybe he felt as though giving you his pain absolved him in a way he was not worthy of.  
Or perhaps it was a degradation of his pride. Men often found strength in their ability to withstand pain. Though, it seemed to bother him when the others would come to you for injuries like this, too, almost as if he worried they were taking advantage of you.  
He was a good man; certainly, more concerned with your consent in healing his friends than your parents and the town who spent your childhood exploiting you ever were.  
“I don’t mind, Bucky,” you told him, smiling encouragingly back at him until he started to relax his shoulders and uncrossed his arms, softening under your gaze. “If it means less time on the bench and more time out there saving lives and having your back, I don’t mind at all.”
“Yeah, Barnes, who’s going to watch your back if I’m held up in a cast?” Sam teased, chuckling under his breath until Bucky stepped forward and not so subtly bumped his hip to the side of the lab table. The sudden disruption of the table moved his ankle just enough to instantly wipe the grin from Sam’s face.  
“Try to relax for me, Sam,” you eased, stepping forward as you started to remove your gloves. You leaned over the edge of the table, slowly removing the splint and the bandage surrounding the swollen muscle. You handed it off to Bucky as you examined the dark purple and blue discoloration on his ankle.  
He hissed as you laid your palms on his leg, clenching down on his jaw.  
You closed your eyes, concentrating as you felt for the break beneath the surface. A crack splintered through the bone, the surrounding tissue swollen and aching.  
A gentle glow began to emit from your palms, a warmth that spread from your hands and directly onto Sam’s skin, through the muscle, and deep into the bone. You could feel the subtle fragments as they began to mend, the swell in his joint as it shrank, the slight movements as he regained feeling.  
Exhaling a tense breath, you shifted your stance onto your right leg as the pressure started to build in your ankle. It wouldn’t last long, just a few minutes in comparison to the weeks of treatment and months of physical therapy Sam would have endured – an easy trade for a man who spend his days so selflessly on the line in the service of strangers.  
You could sense Bucky watching you and you were careful not to let the pain show on your face. There was a privilege in healing the Avengers like this. It gave your life meaning beyond the injuries of your hometown; of careless teenagers falling off skateboards or angry men in bars who took an argument a drink too far. You’d happily take on a few moments of pain in service of heroes.  
Not that you’d let them know.  
“You should be good now.” You held your hands up, the soft glow fading away from your palms as you tucked your hands into your pockets. Careful of the momentary break in your ankle, you took a cautious step away from the table to lean on the chair at your desk. No one noticed the wince in your expression as you put the slightest pressure on the fresh injury.  
“I will never get tired of that.” Sam looked down at the foot in awe, rolling at the ankle and amazed to find the swelling and bruising disappeared completely. He jumped down from the table, bounding on his feet just to test out the freedom in his mobility.  
“Alright, Wilson. Enough,” Bucky rolled his eyes. “You’re going to hurt yourself again and Y/n’s not going to be so generous next time.”
Sam smirked, pausing for a moment as he contemplated. “Nah, my girl will always take care of me. Won’t ya, sugar?”  
It didn’t slip your notice when Bucky tensed up at the pet name. You started to laugh, the teasing smile dropping from his face as his hands curled into fists. Sam really knew how to press his buttons and it seemed, surprisingly enough, you were one of them.  
“Bucky’s got a point, you know. Fancy healing powers are reserved for field injuries these days.” You were only teasing, both of them knowing you’d have healed a papercut if they’d ask. Still, Bucky smirked, taunting Sam over your shoulder as if he’d won.  
You eased yourself off the chair as you started to regain feeling in your ankle, giving more pressure to the heel to find it barely noticeable. You rubbed at the joint with your right shoe to find the swelling had disappeared as well.  
A few moments to spare him weeks of pain. Easy trade.
“What about you, Sergeant?”  
Bucky paused, raising an eyebrow at you.  
You took a step forward, glancing over him in search of injuries. Nothing more than a few cuts that his own advanced healing would take care of overnight. Still, there was one injury you’d been trying to convince him to allow you to heal in the year since you’ve known him.  
“You going to let me work on your shoulder yet or are you still being a masochist?”  
Sam snickered under his breath as he crossed the room to watch what Banner was doing over his shoulder. Bucky gave you that knowing smile of his, the one that pushed up into his eyes and left behind beautiful creases and lines on his face; an exhale of a laugh on his breath.  
“It’s not necessary, doll. I’m fine.”
A frown tugged at your lips. “You always say that, and yet...”
“Nothing I can’t handle,” Bucky shrugged. He was watching you with those sweet eyes of his, creating a warmth that spread in your chest entirely independent of the powers in your hands.  
“You shouldn’t have to handle it in the first place,” you pressed, a pain in your voice as he placed a hand on your shoulder, letting it slide down your arm. It was an intimate gesture, more contact that he had with most people, and he offered it willingly. You tried not to let the shivers show in your spine as he pulled away.  
It looked as though he wanted to say more, but Steve suddenly appeared in the doorway, causing Bucky to take an abrupt step away from you. You hadn’t realized how close you’d been standing to one another.  
“Debrief in five,” Steve ordered, eyeing Sam and Bucky, though paused as he saw you, offering a short smile in acknowledgement before disappearing down the hall.  
“I’m not letting this go, just so you’re aware,” you teased, pointing at Bucky’s shoulder as he started to wave Sam towards the door. He smiled, keeping his back to you until Sam was clear of the room and he leaned into the open frame, one quick glance back at you.  
“Wouldn’t expect anything less, doll.”
***
The next month saw another broken leg, a fractured clavicle, two minor lacerations, a sprained wrist, and a number of superficial cuts – all from various members of the team. Though there was always the one exception who wouldn’t accept your offer no matter how badly he was favoring his right arm.  
The clavicle was certainly a challenge to get through, but the world needed Natasha Romanoff in the field, not strung up on a gurney and a brace for a handful of months. It took longer than some of the other injuries to heal, but you’d managed, even if you had to excuse yourself to the restroom as soon as you’d finished, even if you had to shove a towel into your mouth to keep from screaming as it mended itself together under your skin.  
The truth was you liked being useful. You liked the stunned smiles on their faces and the appreciation in their eyes. You liked seeing them run a hand over perfectly smooth skin where an open wound had just been. It gave you a purpose.  
And sure – your work on SHIELD tech was important and perhaps not all of the injuries in your hometown had been a waste of your abilities, but there was something exceptionally gratifying in mending someone who was untouchable, in healing the people who saved the world.
You’d take a dozen broken clavicles for them.  
It was late after your evening shift and you’d taken to running a few laps on the indoor track around the gym. Blow off some steam, use the state-of-the-art equipment Stark spent thousands of dollars on, give your mind something to think about beside how you were going to rewire Sam’s wings to expand in a more fluid motion.  
You’d just started to break into a sweat when you noticed Bucky setting up at the row of punching bags. The gym was otherwise empty as the sky favored the stars over the sun, and you started to smile as you watched Bucky shrug off his jacket and drop the bag at his feet. He rolled back his shoulders, concentrating on the bag as he readied his fists. But as the first punch hit the bag, the smile quickly fell from your face.  
It echoed up into the rafters, startling you enough to still your sprint abruptly. He let out a grunt as he pummeled at the bag; left jab, right hook, kick, until it broke at the seams and split open to spill sand in heaps upon the ground. He moved on to the next one.  
You clasped a hand to your mouth, looking around the gym to confirm you were in fact alone with him. He’d been on a mission as far as you were aware for the last week. You’d missed him hanging around the lab, asking questions as you worked on new advancements on the stun guns for field agents. He must have gotten back a few hours ago and something clearly went wrong.  
“Bucky?” you called, voice far too soft to be heard across the gym and above the thunderous clash of his knuckles to leather. You jogged a few paces closer, wincing as he threw the entirely of his momentum into a hit that would have broken an ordinary man’s hand. “Bucky? Are you alright?”
But he didn’t hear you. You took a cautious look back at the doors, wondering if you should go find Steve, or maybe even Sam – someone who might know what happened, someone who might be able to talk him down. But you were the only one around. You cleared your throat, stepping up just behind him.  
“Bucky?”
You hit the ground before you knew what had happened.  
A blinding pulsing in the back of your head, the wind momentarily knocked from your lungs, you opened your eyes to find Bucky hovering over you. He held a closed fist in the air, the other digging sharply into your shoulder between his grip, pupils blown wide and dark. It took a moment before he seemed to realize who was laying under him.
“Y/n?” He blinked, confused. His stare flickered to the fist held above your head, knuckles dripping red and bloody, and he pulled away instantly, a flash of horror written over his features. “Shit-- I didn’t... What are you doing here?”
You rubbed at the back of your head, brushing over a slight bump that would certainly mend itself within a few minutes. Slowly, you sat up, careful of the sudden darkness that swept over your eyes, though something cool grabbed onto you before you could fall back against the floor.  
“Hey, come lean against the wall, okay?” Bucky urged, carefully guiding you to adjust your position until you could press your back to the chill of the plastered walls. You sighed in contentment, the pain in your pain already dissipating. Bucky swallowed nervously. “Did I hurt you?”
“I don’t stay hurt for long, Buck,” you told him with a teasing smile, though he did not return it. You set a hand on his forearm, squeezing it lightly before returning it to your lap. “I’m alright. I promise. Are you?”
Bucky narrowed his eyes.
“You were beating that punching bag within an inch of its life,” you clarified, chuckling as you gestured to the exploded bag on the floor, and then to the one still hanging with sand streaming down the seams.  
“Rough mission,” was all he said, his eyes downcast.  
You nodded. “Do you want to talk about it?”
He shook his head.
The two of you sat in silence for a while, listening to the soft buzz of the air conditioner and the faint chirp of crickets outside the windows. You didn’t expect him to say anything. Bucky was a man of few words, but you hoped the company was enough. He didn’t make an effort to move away, not even when your thigh brushed against his.  
He was trying to close his fist when you heard him hiss in pain. His right hand was coated in dried blood and fresh, open wounds on his knuckles. They’d barely started to crust over and with every attempt to close his fist, they cracked open, drawing a painful sting in their place.  
“Will you let me heal your hand?”
Bucky paused, setting his hand down on his leg. “Y/n, it’s not necessary. I won’t ask you to do that.”
“You’re not asking. I’m offering,” you countered. “Besides, it is necessary, actually. How are you going to punch the bad guys if you can’t close your fist?”
“I’ve got another,” Bucky argued back, though a smile had etched its way onto his face. He raised his left hand, making a show of it as he curled his fingers into a fist one by one. “This one’s pretty indestructible so...”
“Please, Bucky.” You turned towards him, folding your legs as you held out your left hand for him to take. “Just this once. Let me do this.”
A stormy array of ocean blue and thunderous skies stared back at you, unsure. His eyes flickered down to your hand. Always so hesitant to ask for help, always so reluctant to accept the good things when they were offered. But as he watched you, searching for signs to run, to back out, something softened.  
He swallowed and slowly, placed his right hand into yours.  
You smiled, adjusting your grip gently on his hand. You placed it to lay on you knee as you hovered your left hand over his knuckles. The warm glow illuminated from your palm and Bucky’s breath hitched as he must have felt the sudden rush of energy it produced.  
The scars began to mend before his eyes and just as you felt the stinging prick on your own knuckles, you quickly pushed your right hand into the pocket of your jacket to hide the scars as they formed.  
“That’s incredible,” Bucky exhaled, withdrawing his hand as soon as you were finished. He held it out in front of him, examining the dried blood coated around perfectly intact skin. He shook his head in disbelief. “You’re incredible.”  
A rush of heat burned in your cheeks as you looked away, a smile breaking onto your lips. It was enough to distract you from the stinging in your hand tucked away in your pocket.  
“Do you want to watch a movie or something?” you asked, biting on your lip nervously. “Think you could do with the company and I’d like to keep you from breaking more of these expensive punching bags.”
Bucky laughed at that, nodding. “Yeah, that sounds nice.”
He stood and offered you his hand, thinking out loud about which one of the movies on his list he wanted to try out next. You pulled your hand from your pocket and took his as he offered it to you; the knuckles already clean and healed.  
***
“You should see it, Fitz! It’s a goddamn stroke of genius.” You held up the ventilator no bigger than the pad of your thumb up to the light, admiring your work.  
“I’m sure Stark will be thrilled,” a thick Scottish accent crackled through the speaker on the com beside you. “Send me the schematics, will you?”
You pursed your lips, a smile etching through. “Think you can one-up me?”
“No never,” Fitz laughed. You could hear him tinkering in his own lab on the quinjet, the small clicks of metal and the buzz of a drill humming over the speaker. “Just want to see if I’m still head of our class or not.”
“Pretty sure we both know that title belongs to Simmons.”
There was a slight pause, then, a dreamy, “yeah, you’re right.”
A sudden knocking at the edge of the lab startled you as you spun around in your chair, nearly dropping the ventilator for Stark’s suit. Bucky stood in the doorway, clutching at his left shoulder as fingers dug into the muscle. He wore a sort of guilty look upon his face though he pushed out a smile and waved.  
“Hey, Fitz, I’ll call you tomorrow, alright?” you said over your shoulder to the speaker, waited a moment for his response and ended the call. You turned back to Bucky as a smile grew upon your face. “What can I do for you, Sergeant? I didn’t miss movie night, did I?”
“No, you’re in the clear,” Bucky chuckled, though it was tense. He stepped further into the lab, relaxing a little as he noticed no one else was around. It was pretty late for you to be working, but you were so close to finishing the ventilator, and well, time easily got away from you with Fitz on the other end of the phone.  
“Coming to keep me company then?” you teased. “I’m actually about done anyway, so we could set up the next movie on your—”
“No, I— um...” Bucky started, losing his nerve rather quickly. He exhaled a tense breath, eyes casting down to the floor. “I was, um, wondering if you could work on my shoulder?”
You raised an eyebrow. Even after that night in the gym, Bucky was still hesitant to your offers to heal his various injuries from the field. He’d give you that sweet smile of his, a soft pink in his cheeks, and tell you that he’d be fine on his own. You never doubted that, but it didn’t mean you couldn't spare him just a few hours of that pain.  
“The, um,” Bucky winced, gritting his teeth as he pushed his hand deeper against the tissue, “the nerve endings are acting up. Shuri said it’s to be, uh, expected given how Hydra butchered my arm all those years ago, but...”
“Come here.” You were already removing the files and paperwork from the table, gesturing for him to take a seat.  
His whole left arm was slack at his side as if he could barely tolerate to move it. Shallow breaths hitched in his lungs as he leaned against the table, settling against the hard, metal surface.
“Can you take this off?” you asked, nodding to his shirt. Bucky’s cheeks flushed and you cleared your throat nervously, playing with the ends of your hair. “It’ll be more effective if I can touch the area directly.”
He removed his right hand from the muscle at his shoulder and gripped at the hem of his shirt. Slowly, he started to pull it over his head, though you could tell from the harsh exhale in his breath that it was causing him considerable pain.  
“Here, let me help you.” You stepped forward and helped ease the fabric up his torso and gently guided it off his right arm, over his head, and eased it down his left. He seemed more at ease with the shirt removed, but a chill swept up his spine in the cool air of the lab.  
You kept your eyes on his, determined not to let your gaze fall to the hardened muscles on his chest and stomach.  
“I won’t be able to heal the scars,” you told him as you moved around to stand behind the table. “Just try to relax for me, okay? I’ll do what I can for the pain.”
Bucky nodded, his hands clenched into the lip of the table, enough to warp the surface. He could barely muster out a response.  
“My hands are a little cold, so...” you muttered out nervously, rubbing your palms together in an effort to warm them.  
Then, you set your hands against the mess of scar tissue surrounding his shoulder, starting at his shoulder blades as the glow illuminated bright enough to light up the corner of your lab. Bucky gasped, the first breath in a long time completely filling his lungs as he felt the relief within your touch. You could practically feel the tension melting off his shoulders.  
It didn’t take long before the pain made its way to your body. Starting out slow, in numbing aches, until it was so sharp, it felt like a dozen edges of sharp blades puncturing into your shoulder. You clenched your jaw, held your breath, thankful that Bucky couldn’t see your face when you bit down on the inside of your cheek and tears sprung into your eyes.  
“God, that... shit...” Bucky sighed, his grip releasing on the table. You could hear the smile in his voice, the relief, and it helped to push aside the pain as it manifested in your body.  
You moved your hand up his back, sliding along the scars where his skin met metal, taking as much of his pain as you could. Bucky was exceptionally strong, able to withstand far more than you could without passing out completely. You couldn’t take it all, especially if you wanted to keep him from knowing how your gift truly worked, but you took enough.  
You swallowed back the lump in your throat, preparing yourself as you moved around to face him. There was more on his chest, by his clavicle, you couldn’t reach from behind him. You'd had years of practice, learning how to keep the pain from displaying on your face. You could get through this for him.  
As you stepped in front of him, keeping a steady hold on his shoulder, you could feel his eyes watching you. The glow under your palms was bright enough to illuminate the lab, but it was a gentle light, as soft as the burn of a candle or the golden rays of a sunset. Bucky watched you with a kind of awe that made your stomach twist into knots.  
You guided your hand along the scar tissue on his chest, doing your best to ignore the goosebumps as they rose in your wake. Your heart was stammering, louder than the pain radiating in your shoulder, though it lessened the more you worked. The pain had nearly left him entirely as he started to take in more even breaths, relaxing his muscles as you felt them soften under your touch.  
You exhaled a tense breath through your nose, concentrating on gathering as much of the pain as you could, on mending the broken nerve endings as they misfired and frayed under the torn appendage. You barely noticed as Bucky crossed his right hand over his chest and laid his hand palm against your hands.  
“Thank you,” he whispered, his fingers curling around the undersides of your hands until he gently tugged them away. The glow faded until the lab was only lit by the soft light of the lamp at your desk and the reflection of the moon peering in through the window.  
You met his eye, the pain still prominent in your shoulder though you forcibly softened the clench in your jaw as he looked over you. His eyes flickered down to your lips for only a second, but it was enough. Your heart skipped.  
Bucky slowly released your hands, letting them fall gently against his thighs, as he leaned forward to cup the sides of your face. Fingers tangling into your hair, you stepped closer, pressed against the table between the parting of his legs.  
You wondered if he could feel how fast your heart was racing, or if he could hear it, because you were certain it was going to beat straight out of your chest. The fading pain in your shoulder you’d taken for him was nothing but a forgotten memory as he pressed his forehead to yours, just waiting.  
The moment his lips touched yours, you lost your breath; fireworks and butterflies, twists in your stomach and clamoring in your heart. You could feel his smile as it spread into his cheeks, your hands seeking more of him as you slid them up the sides of his bare chest. He was beautiful and perfect and so incredibly wonderful, you’d take hours of his pain, years even, if you could keep kissing him like this.  
“Hey, Y/n, I thought you were already done for the—oh, sorry!”
You jolted away from Bucky, restless and a little disheveled, Bucky’s cheeks flamed red, as you turned to find Banner standing awkwardly in the doorway. His hand was shielded over his eyes, his back quickly turned to you as papers littered the floor at his feet. You started to laugh, hand clamping over your swollen lips as you looked over at Bucky.  
“It’s no worry, Bruce,” you giggled, quickly skating over to the door to help him pick up the files. Bucky meanwhile shrugged his shirt back on, fixing the flyaways in his hair.  
“So sorry,” he mumbled again, clearly embarrassed by his intrusion as he glanced over at Bucky apologetically. He gathered the papers into his arms. “I’ll be going now and, um, I won’t come back, okay?”
You couldn’t help but laugh as Bucky’s eyes blew wide in Banner’s quick escape.  
“Still want that company?” you offered with a smile, extending your hand to him. The pain was long gone from your shoulder as he shook himself from the flush in his cheeks and nodded. He took your hand and led you down the hall to the living room. There was another movie on the list to get through.  
***
You couldn’t remember the last time you were this happy. Your cheeks began to hurt from how often you were smiling, as if it were a permanent fixture on your features. You’d even caught yourself humming along to the radio as you dusted the surfaces in your lab the morning after Bucky had kissed you goodbye on the landing dock in front of at least a dozen agents.  
He’d been away on a mission for the last few days, but he called when he could. You’d spend whatever spare minutes he could get on the satellite phone with him, distracting him from whatever was going on in his end of the world with talk about your latest project with Stark or old stories from the academy with Fitz or what the next movie on the list was going to be.  
He wasn’t a man of many words, but you liked knowing he was on the other end of the line. You could picture his smile perfectly in your mind, the way he chewed on his lower lip, how his eyes fell downcast to the floor by your shoes, the flush of pink in his cheeks. It was enough.  
“So, things are really heating up with you and Barnes,” Natasha commented as she sipped the top of her steaming coffee before it could spill over the edge. You shrugged, though it was hard to contain your smile. Natasha grinned. “I think it’s good for him. You, too. Don’t know the last time I’ve seen him this happy. He seems more relaxed. Like maybe he’s not carrying the whole world on his shoulders anymore.”
“Helps when he’s not in excruciating pain on a daily basis,” you added, tapping at your left shoulder. He’d let you work on it a few times since that first night. It always took some convincing, but the pain was never as bad as it was that evening. You could take it. You’d do it a thousand times for him without question.  
Natasha nodded, a pleased look upon her face. She parted her lips to say more, but a sudden commotion at the end of the hall stole the words from her tongue. You set your coffee down on the counter, peering out around the tables to find agents jumping out of the way of an oncoming train.  
“Y/n!” Bucky shouted, voice breaking in the effort as he sprinted down the hall and slammed into an unsuspecting agent. Papers flew into the air as he sprinted towards your room. “Y/n!”
“Bucky?” you called stepping out into the hallway where he could see you.  
He skidded to an abrupt stop, his hair flying over his shoulder as he turned in your direction.  
“Y/n! Thank God.”  
It wasn't until Bucky stood in front of you that you realized he was covered in blood; soaking into his hair, caked under his finger nails, drenched into his suit, and stained to his skin. Your eyes widened, breath all but leaving your lungs, as your hands clutched against his jacket. He tried to pull you back towards the stairs, but you couldn’t budge, not with that much blood all over him.  
“What-- What happened? Are you hurt?” You started seeking out exposed skin an effort to draw away any pain you could, even if you couldn’t see any exposed wounds.  
Bucky's hand slid over yours, pulling it away. He softened, though you could still see the frantic rise and fall of his chest.  
“It’s not my blood. It’s Steve’s.”
Your stomach sank; relief mixed into an ugly shade of guilt and grief. Natasha was already sprinting down to the med bay, coffee mug cracked and spilled upon the tile floors. Her footsteps echoed through the hallway, the sudden clanging of the double doors startling you from your daze.  
“Please, I—I need you,” Bucky begged, his voice shaking. Tears were burning in his eyes. You’d never seen him this afraid; this shaken and helpless. “It’s not good, Y/n. He’s-- He’s--”
“Okay.” You pressed a hand to his cheek, brushing your thumb sweetly across his face and smeared the tears as they cleaned the dried blood away. You didn’t need to hear anymore. All you wanted was to take his pain, even if your gift couldn’t touch it as it nestled deep into his heart.  
By the time you reached the med bay, a storm of chaos had already barreled through. Lab equipment was knocked over on its side. Dozens of agents frantically running around, shouting orders at one other. Papers and schematics lined the floor with imprinted of boots damaging the print. But it was the trail of blood that drew your attention.  
Droplets trailing from the loading bay of the jet to down the med wing to the surgical room. Dark red and oozing. Taunting. Far too much for any ordinary man to have lost. You tried to stifle the gasp as it hitched in your breath the moment you saw him.  
Steve was strung up on a gurney, suit cut down the middle and flayed open, exposing his chest and the three bullet holes expelling pints of blood. The hands of several agents were pressing down onto him, trying to keep pressure on the wounds, deep red slipping out from between their fingers. The look on their faces said enough – he wasn’t going to make it.  
“Where’s Helen?” you gaped, staring at Steve.  
“Ten minutes out.” Tony stumbled into the room as he rounded the corner, holding a stat phone in his hand. “She’s in the chopper.”
“He can’t wait ten minutes.” Bucky gripped tight to you hand and you could feel the tension radiating in his muscles. You wanted to take it for him but he pulled his hand before you could, turning to face you. “You’re all we have. Y/n, please. I can’t lose him.”
Bucky had never once asked you to heal someone like this. He could barely muster the will to ask you to heal his own wounds, to ease the constant stream of pain in his shoulder, and the open wounds on his hand. But with Steve’s life in the balance, he didn’t have room to be hesitant anymore. He couldn’t risk his best friend’s life.
But he didn’t know it would risk yours in the process.  
You swallowed, glancing back nervously at Steve. “I’ve never healed anything this bad before, Buck. I don’t know if I can--” survive this.  
Could your body heal fast enough to take on his injuries? Could you do them one by one? Would he live long enough to even try? Would either of you?  
“Y/n, please. He’ll die without you,” Bucky begged, his voice wavering. Tears reflected in his eyes; gentle pale blue obstructed by a swarm of fear and guilt and desperation, a redness straining into the surrounding white until his cheeks were wet. The dried blood cleared in streaks as they traveled down to his jawline.  
You watched him as he bit down onto his lip, shielding his face from the others as he waited. The frantic beeping of the monitor strapped to Steve’s chest was growing frantic, irregular, and you knew there wasn’t much time left.  
The worst you’d ever attempted to heal before had been the stabbing of a stranger. You’d found her clutching stomach in an abandoned alleyway in Queens, contents of her purse spilled to the pavement, jewelry torn from her neck. You'd knelt down beside her and took her pain without so much as a second thought.  
As her wound began to close, your skin split open, blood soaked into your shirt, your vision grew dark and hazy, until it was nothing at all.  
The last thing you remembered of that night was the horror in the woman’s eye as she scrambled away from you and ran back to the safety of the open streets. You woke in a pool of your own blood hours later – longer than it had ever taken to heal before.  
A scar remained on your stomach from that night. The only one on your body. A warning.  
Test the limits of your gift again and learn why it’s called a sacrifice.
But as you looked back at Bucky, at a man who never dared to ask you for anything until it was unbearable, who wore his own scars and healed his own injuries in fear of exploiting your gift, who was impossibly gentle for the evil he was surrounded in for decades – you couldn’t find it in yourself to say no. You didn’t want to.
Bucky must have noticed the change in your expression because his shoulders softened immediately, a heavy sigh sinking through his body. He pushed forward and pressed a quick kiss to your lips; short, chaste, and still—filled with a world of emotion, of gratitude, of relief. It gave you the courage to do what needed to be done.  
Tony began to shout for the room to clear the moment you approached the table. You stared down at Steve, whose skin had grown nearly translucent, the monitor above displaying his heart beat as it evened out to a nearly thin line. He was fading fast. You wouldn’t have much time.  
Everything around you became muted, distorted, as you channeled your focus; the huddled whispers of the agents hovering over Steve with their hands pressed to open wounds sounded as if they were miles away.  
Bucky stood at your side, watching anxiously though he tried his best to remain stoic and unaffected, though you knew he was splintering apart at the seams. Natasha and Sam were huddled in the far corner, talking quietly amongst themselves as they tried to put the pieces together as to what happened out in the field. Tony was shooing away stay agents with the threat of force, while Banner did his best to remotely disengage the power on Tony’s glove.  
None of it registered. Not beyond the flow of blood coating Steve’s chest and dripping onto the floor, your shoes stepping into the pool below. It was a miracle he was still alive at all. The serum was the only thing tying him to this Earth.  
You stretched out your hands, hovering over his chest and the agents quickly dispersed. You didn’t dare steal a glance in Bucky’s direction as the glow began to emit under your palms, afraid he might see the goodbye in your eyes or the apology for what he was about to witness. There wasn’t time.  
The pain was sudden. Sharp. Like you’d felt the bullets rip straight through you as if you stood on the battlefield in Steve’s place. You cried out at the impact of it, nearly thrown from your stance as you clutched into Steve’s body.  
Bucky jolted beside you, startled as you cried out again, desperate to choke down the screams before they passed your lips. He stared at you, wide eyed, as you clenched your jaw.  
“Y/n? Are you—”
Another scream tore through you and Bucky visibly flinched. You didn’t have the energy to hide the pain from him, not with three bullets tearing through you. You had to save Steve; put the full force of your power into healing his wounds before they consumed him whole. Damn the consequences. Damn the sacrifice of your gift.  
Your body was always meant to be the host of broken bones and bullet wounds and bruises. Made to be broken and mended. A host to others. A graveyard of injuries that did not belong to you.  
It was what your parents had told you from the time you were a child; that you were a gift to others, that you were a vessel to better the world. But it came at a price; one, it seemed, you’d soon enough pay.  
Your legs began to shake as a wave of darkness cast over your vision, tunneling, consuming the space around you. You could only vaguely make out Bucky’s voice calling your name, his tone laced confusion and concern, but you blocked it out. Daring to look in his direction now would only hinder your resolve and you needed to save Steve’s life.  
Concentrating your power, a scream ripped through your lungs as the glow illuminated the entire room, enough that Bucky was forced to shield his eyes.  
The wounds were taking hold on your body. One at your stomach. Another along your ribs. The third, just above your chest. Exit wounds opening on your back. You could feel the drip of blood as it slid down your skin; thick and unrelenting.  
You were growing light headed as the pain started to dissipate. But the wounds were still fresh on your body, still open and bleeding; the pain shouldn’t have faded so quickly.  
The steady beep of the monitor indicated that Steve was stabilizing, the flesh had nearly closed, and you barely registered Helen’s voice as she rushed into the room, ordering her team to take over.  
“Hey, hey, you did it, sweetheart. You did good,” Bucky exhaled. He had the most beautiful smile on his face; filled with a sense of pride an awe, stunning and handsome beyond belief, even with traces of concern still evident in his eyes.  
But you were stone. A statue. You couldn’t move without fear of collapsing completely.  
“He’s stable now, Y/n,” Bucky eased, trying to pull you gently away from the table. “Come here, sweetheart. I’ve got you.”
Bucky hand set against your stomach when you didn’t follow and he froze; the sticky wet residue of fresh blood on his hand. He stared down at his palm in horror as the blood began to seep through your shirt in three distinct spots, all perfectly aligning with the ones on Steve’s chest.  
Bucky darted forward, pushing up your shirt to find the wounds he’d seen healed on his best friend moments ago littered over your stomach. His mouth went dry, throat lined with sandpaper, rocks shoved down into his lungs. His hand trembled as it reached out and touched the bullet wound on your ribs. His breath hitched as he felt the warmth of blood and the tear of flesh in your skin.  
He couldn’t breathe.  
“Is Steve alive?” Your voice was barely a whisper and you wondered if Bucky could even hear you at all. His eyes were glossed over in fresh tears, lips parted in shock as he stared back at you. You could hardly keep your eyes open.
Before he could respond, your legs gave way and you stumbled back out of Bucky’s hold. Your vision was closing in, a dark cloud of black swarming around you as your foot caught on the edge of toppled lab equipment. You were in Bucky’s arms again before you made it to the floor.  
You didn’t hear him screaming for help, didn’t hear the shattering crack in his voice, or the crash of equipment behind you as Simmons raced into the room. You didn’t feel his hands as they desperately pressed onto the open wounds, or the heat of his breath as he begged you to ‘stay with me, sweetheart’. But you felt the warmth of his embrace.
It was comforting as the darkness pulled you under.  
***
A heaviness draped over you. Soothing. Pressing you into the soft cushion below. A repetitive chime rang above; even in tone, consistent. It drew you back from the kind embrace of shadows, calling you toward a flicker of light.  
Pressure squeezed at your hand. Cold and warm at once. Solid and soft.  
You listened for the chime; allowed it to guide you as the rest of your senses awakened.
The chatter of voices in the distant too muffled to distinguish. The distinct smell sterilizing alcohol that burned in your nose. The heat of a thick blanket tucked around your legs. The chill of a breeze streaming from the humming vent above. Scratchy bed sheets and laundry fresh clothes a few sizes too big for your frame.  
You groaned, trying to adjust to the influx of light as you opened your eyes. It was a room you recognized. White. Clean. Far too bright. You’d been within the walls dozens of times before, but never laid upon the bed. It was a strange view.  
Glancing down, you found yourself dressed in a dark grey t-shirt that didn’t belong to you. The logo was faded on the chest but it was still recognizable. Vintage. An eagle at the center of a circle, it’s wings remarkably similar to the symbol of the Howling Commandos. Around the edge: Strategic Scientific Reserve. You’d seen Bucky wear it until the hem frayed. Sure enough, as you reached for the bottom of the shirt, you found the split seams.  
A slight squeeze on your hand again drew your attention to your right. There, you found Bucky hunched over the side of the bed; both hands encasing yours, his forehead rested on the very edge of the mattress.  
A smile tugged at your lips until it started to ache. Unused muscles, must be. You wondered how long you’d been out this time. Must have been longer than a few hours. Bucky’s back would need your attention after the way he’s been sleeping.  
“Bucky,” you tried to call, but found your voice was nothing more than a breath of air. You winced, testing it again. “Bucky?”  
He only hummed in response. The sweet vibrations nestled against your arm. It took him a minute as he lifted his head, stretched out his upper back, matted hair fallen down into his face, before he caught your eye; glancing around the room, checking the door, the heart monitor above, like it had become routine, until he realized you were watching him.  
He froze, eyes wide. “Y/n?”
You nodded sleepily, pushing out a smile. “What’d I miss?”
Bucky didn’t laugh. His hands were still gripped tight to yours, squeezing at them as if he were checking to make sure you were real.  
Your smile began to fall the longer he stared at you. “How long was I out? Is Steve okay?”
Bucky cleared his throat, nodding, though it seemed strained. “Y-yeah, Steve’s fine. Doc said he’d make a full recovery thanks to you.”
“That’s good,” you replied, but Bucky couldn’t so much as force a smile. He couldn’t seem to look at you, his hands playing with the lines in your palms. It was then you started to notice the dark circles under his eyes, the wrinkles in days old clothing, the hallowed look upon his face. Your stomach sank. “How long was I out?”
Bucky’s paused for a moment, his movements stilling as he traced your lifeline. He sighed, resuming again. “Six days.”
“Oh.”
A silence swept over the room. You’d never been under that long before. Frankly, you were a little surprised you woke up at all given the extent of Steve’s injuries. Your fingers dipped under the hem of Bucky’s old t-shirt and grazed over the bullet wound on your ribs, feeling for the raised edges of a fresh scar. It didn’t heal, as you suspected the others hadn’t; laid to rest next to the knife wound from the woman in the alley. Injuries you were never meant to survive.  
“Were you ever going to tell us?”  
You looked up, startled by Bucky’s voice as it wavered. He brushed at his eyes; red and glossy.  
“Were you ever going to tell me?”  
“No,” you admitted and Bucky’s shoulders slumped. He sank back further into his chair and you could read the disappointment on his face. You gritted your teeth, preparing to deliver the same speech you’d been telling yourself for years. “My body could handle it, Buck. It was only a few minutes of pain to trade for weeks or months of your own. It kept you in the field and off the bench. The world needs you guys. It was worth it for me. I could handle it.”
“Until you couldn’t!” Bucky snapped, startling you as he tugged his hand from your grasp and began to pace around the room. His fingers raked into his hair, gripping at unwashed strands. “You almost died, Y/n! You almost died because I fucking begged you to use your powers to save Steve and I—Jesus, Y/n — if I had known what it does to you, I never would have asked you to do that!”
“That’s why I didn’t tell you,” you replied gently, wanting nothing more than to ease him. Bucky shook his head, unwilling to accept your answer. “Bucky, if you knew that healing a papercut hurt me, you wouldn’t let me do that either.”
He paused; arms folded over his chest though he wouldn’t look at you. “No, I wouldn’t.”
You softened, sitting up in the bed, though a dull pain rushed made it rather difficult, leaving you to clutch at your stomach. It ached as you moved, an unfamiliar feeling, and the tension quickly faded from Bucky’s shoulders when he heard you whine.
You pushed through the pain in your stomach, holding up a hand as Bucky started to step forward to help you. It would fade. It always does. You’d heal and move on, until the next injury came through. It was routine. It was your life.  
So, you told him as much.  
“I’d do it again.”
Bucky frowned. He looked like he wanted to just lay on the bed beside you, curl up against your chest and sleep. He was exhausted. And still—he couldn’t let it go.  
“You almost died—”
You shrugged nonchalantly. “It’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.”
“A sacrifice?” Bucky’s face contorting in horror. “Are you insane? You're not a sacrifice, Y/n!”
You nodded, determined; the words of your parents, the village elders, ringing in your ears. “That what this gift is, Bucky! I can’t actually heal anyone other than myself, but I can transfer the injuries and the pain to my body. That I can heal. It’s what I was born for! It’s my purpose. I was made to be a sacrifice.”
“Not for me!” Bucky held his ground, voice firmer than you’d ever heard it. “Nothing is worth that to me! Do you understand that? I won’t trade your life for anyone’s, not even Steve’s, and I sure as hell don’t care how many bones I break or how bad the nerves in my shoulder misfire. I won’t put that on you again. The team won’t either.”
You clenched your jaw, heart starting race. No one had ever challenged you on this before. No one had ever questioned whether your gift should be used at all. No one ever seemed to care of the effect it had on your body, never thinking to look past the extraordinary abilities to the mutilation under the surface.  
No one until Bucky.  
You curled your hands into the thin sheets at your waist. “Bucky, don’t be ridiculous. I’m saving you all from weeks of unnecessary healing. I can handle the pain. It’s an easy trade for—”
Bucky’s fist met the wall. “You’re worth more than just a vessel for our pain, Y/n!”  
“What the hell is going on in here!?” Helen Cho rushed into the room, eyes darting between Bucky standing by the corner of the room, shaking out his hand, and you as you laid in the bed at the center, the heart monitor above pulsing far too quickly.  
Bucky seemed to notice the frantic beeping of the monitor and the anger quickly drained from his face.  
Helen glared at him as she stepped closer to you, beginning to check your vitals. “You should leave,” she shot over her shoulder. Your stomach twisted to knots as Bucky nodded defeatedly and walked to the door.  
“No, don’t--” you called, voice small, nervous. He paused in the frame, glancing back at you with a raised eyebrow. “Please, Bucky. Stay.”
Helen set a hand on your shoulder as if to ask if you were sure. You nodded.
“You may be able to heal yourself, but you’re still recovering,” Helen advised, tapping on the IV drip. “Take it easy, alright?”
Bucky remained stoic by the door after Helen left. He didn’t say anything for a while, his eyes focused on the tile floors at his feet, waiting until the heart monitor chimed in even, steady counts.  
“Will you sit down? You’re making me nervous,” you chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. It got him to look at you, at least. While he couldn’t muster a smile, it was clear he was drained of the anger that had quickly taken hold of his body; anger that was never once reserved for you, but for the voices in your head that deemed you unworthy of more than a body to be used by others.  
Bucky sank into the chair at your bedside.  
“When’s the last time you slept, Buck?”  
He stayed silent. It was enough of an answer. You didn’t dare ask the last time he left this room, not with the shiny reflection at his roots and the red strained in his eyes. Six days at your bedside, hunched over on a cold, unforgiving chair, clutching your hand. It ached deep into your bones.  
“I mean what I said,” Bucky mumbled, slowly brining himself to meet your eye. He reached out for your hand, letting the comforting chill of solid metal lay below as the warmth of flesh and muscle laid on top. He brought your fingertips to his lips and gently kissed at your knuckles.  
You sighed at the feeling. “Bucky, I...”
“You’re more important to us than your abilities,” he pressed, a sincerity behind his words and laced delicately into sweet shades of blue. “You do a lot of good to keep us safe with the tech you’ve been building and the adjustments to the suits. You’re incredible at what you do, Y/n. Your worth isn’t based on how many injuries you can heal or how much pain you can handle. We care about you. I care about you. Isn't that enough?”
You didn’t know.
You’d never known anyone to prioritize you over your gift. You parents had exploited it from the moment it was discovered your ability; showing you off, treating you as an idol to be worships and adorned. They put their child through broken bones and lacerations and asthma attacks. They sat back and watched as you healed strangers of arthritis and sprained ankles and migraines. Their child cried as they collected their winnings.  
Were you afraid it would happen again? Is that why you kept it from the team? From Bucky? You’d convinced yourself it was noble to silently suffer in their place, but you started to wonder if it amounted to little more than your parent's words whispered into your ear: your ability is a gift to the world, a sacrifice unto yourself.
“Would you ask any of us to suffer in your place?” Bucky questioned, drawing you from the mess inside your head with the gentle vibration in his voice.  
“I just want to help you...” you murmured, tears slipping past your cheeks.  
Bucky reached forward and brushed the tears as they fell, sliding his hand against your cheek and nestling against your hair. You leaned into the touch.
“So, we find a middle ground, okay?” Bucky offered, smiling enough to push into his cheeks, though his eyes were still heavy. “No trivial injuries. No life-threatening injuries. We take the stuff in-between case by case.”  
“Your shoulder,” you added, determined. Buck started to shake his head but you pressed harder. “Five minutes of pain to spare months of yours, Bucky. No lasting damage. Don’t argue with me on this one.”
It brought the smile back to Bucky’s eyes as he eventually nodded. You knew he had no real authority to decide what injuries you could and couldn’t heal, but you’d never had anyone who dared to put you first. You trusted him to do that; you trusted him more than yourself, anyway.
“We decide the rest together,” you told him. “I get the final say but... I need you to tell me if I’m pushing it too much, but I won’t be too cautious, either. No discriminating against Sam.”
“No promises,” Bucky chuckled, playing with the ends of your hair dreamily. “The other stuff I can deal with.”
“Okay,” you exhaled, relief sweeping through your body.  
“Okay.”
“Think I’ll be lucky if anyone on the team even lets me touch them for a few months after this ordeal, though, huh?” You laughed and though it ached in your stomach, it was considerably less than it was moments earlier. You didn’t mind the dull pain. It was familiar, almost a comfort. Steve was alive because of it.  
“Yeah, can’t say anyone was thrilled to find out how your powers actually worked,” Bucky chuckled. “But they’re happy you’re alright. I’m sure Steve will be, too. He was pissed when he woke up and learned what you did.”
You clenched your jaw. “Never good to be on Cap’s bad side...”
“No, it’s not,” Bucky agreed, wide smile pressed to the back of your hand, his lips touching over exposed skin. “He doesn’t like when anyone else pulls a self-sacrificial move. It’s kinda his thing. Diving into the Atlantic and all. We don’t really need two of you running around...”
“Alright, alright,” you laughed, swatting Bucky away. Your cheeks hurt from smiling, the pain in your stomach long forgotten, or maybe it had finally healed. You supposed it didn’t matter.  
They were scars that would never heal. Like the knife wound. Like mesh of hardened tissue around Bucky’s shoulder, stretching out onto his chest and back. Reminders of when you were too both close to the edge, to the brink of darkness. Reasons to push back towards the light.  
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read the sequel here!
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otptings · 3 years
Text
Double Sided
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→Idol; Hendery
→Genre; Possesive Smut
→Word Count; 3.1k+
→Warnings; degradation, thigh riding, possessive, corruption kink, jealous Hendery, dacryphilia, slight dumbification, overstimulation, unprotected sex, cream pie, oral (fem receiving) , daddy (not so much as a kink), calls you his doll, degradation, somnophilia, auditory exhibitionism, breeding kink,
→Synopsis; Who would've known that Hendery would've had such a different personality than the sweet, goofy man that you met a year ago?
→A/n ~ Hope you enjoy this, I had actually cycled through multiple idols from nct and svt before finally setting on my favorite crackhead, Hendrarrrry. If you liked my one shot please like, reblog, or donate to my Ko-Fi. Feedback is wanted, and requests are open for any idol from enhypen, nct, and svt.
Hendery leaned in close to your ear, lips brushing over it as he spoke.
"Such a good girl for me.” A whimper left your mouth, your skin feeling like it was on fire where his hands gripped your waist.
Hendery was full of surprises. Seemingly so innocent when you first met him, flirting with you shyly before you got gestured to the next member by the staff at the fan meet. Somehow convincing a manager to let him talk to you again, quickly sliding you his number before he got pulled back stage to prepare for the concert. It’s been a year since that fateful day and he was constantly surprising you. Whether it was constantly gifting you presents, or taking you on random dates you were definitely well endowed with his attention.
You knew that wasn’t the only side to Hendery, the side that was always joking around, making you laugh until you felt like your lungs were going to burst. You knew that Hendery had a different side, especially after witnessing his duality at concerts.
This was nothing like you had imagined.
Straddling his thigh while he watched you grind against him, only dressed in one of his oversized t-shirts and a pair of panties. Hickeys already marking your throat where Hendery got impatient - read jealous - while watching you talk with your flirty coworker. A smirk on his lips as you watched your thighs shake, head thrown back while your hands tighten their grip on his shoulders.
“So pretty.” He cupped the back of your neck, pulling you closer to him so that your chests were touching, placing a sloppy kiss over your jugular. “All mine.”
You could only whine at his possessiveness, loving the way he tightens around your neck before letting go. Your hips start to stutter as you feel your orgasm nearing, fire burning so bright you felt as if it was going to burn you alive.
“N-need c-cum please.” Hendery’s smirk only grew while he restrained your hips, forcing your orgasm to fade away into nothingness. A sob falling from your lips while you smacked at his hands, your fourth failed orgasm of the night.
Hendery tsked as he rubbed his thumb over your bare hip, feeling his cock hardening at the sound of your dry sobs.
“You know you’re not allowed to cum. Need to show you that no one would make you feel like me.” You nodded your head as Hendery tapped your hip, signaling for you to start up again.
God, your stupid fucking coworker. You don’t even know why you agreed to go to the company holiday party. Typically choosing to just go home and cuddle with Hendery, occasionally with Bella also when Xiao had you dog sitting. You shouldn’t have told Lula that you would definitely be attending, what even came over you? Maybe it was the fact that she was the nicest one in the office, constantly joining you for lunch and becoming a workplace friend. Either way you regret it now.
You definitely regretted bringing Hendery as your date, especially knowing his tendency to get jealous. Witnessing it after Lucas got too cuddling after a few drinks, appointing you and Ten as his items of affection for the night. Hendery had dragged you to his room after witnessing Lucas attempt to sloppily kiss your cheek. He handed you one of his t-shirts before pulling you onto the bed, keeping you in his room and out of the eyes of the other guys.
You saw how antsy he was while watching you get ready, eyeing your body con dress, attempting to subtly pull it further down your thighs. His hands roaming your thighs as he watched you apply makeup. You had only sighed before asking him if he wanted to come, hoping that him being with you would calm him, keeping his jealousy at bay.
He knew you didn’t know that your coworker Jaehyuk would get flirty while drunk. Easily sliding into the empty space beside you Hendery had left when he went to the bathroom. A strained smile on your lips as you awkwardly sipped your drink, eyes flitting around to see if you could find literally anybody else to talk to. Jaehyuk didn’t let you go that easily, unwanted compliments steadily flowing from his mouth. Hendery had actually witnessed the whole thing, not trusting an intoxicated man with you. Only gripping his cup tightly, laughing at his poor attempts to flirt. It wasn’t until Jaehyuk reached out to you, grabbing your chin and forcing you to look at him. Hendery hadn’t even heard the whimper that left your mouth, didn’t need to see the fear in your eyes before he was crossing the room and yanking you behind him. Saying a few choice words that left your coworker shaking as Hendery led you quickly out of the building.
Hendery didn’t want to risk you thinking about anyone else, leading to his plan to edge you until he was the only thing on your mind, the name on your tongue.
And so far? It was working exactly as planned.
“Aw look at my jeans baby, you're soaking through them.” Embarrassment flooded through you at his condescending tone. His hands squeezing your hips as he felt them start to stutter again, helping you get off.
“You wanna cum baby?” You eagerly nodded your head, hope in your mind that maybe he would go easy on you after all. You are his baby girl after all. That means he’ll be nice to you right? Right?
“Stand up.” Another sob left your mouth, feeling the pain of another lost orgasm. “Right now.” Hendery’s tone was biting, only wanting you to obey him. You stood up on shaky legs, feeling your panties uncomfortably sticking to your folds. He tsked again as he lifted your shirt, revealing the darkening pastel fabric of your underwear. Teasingly tracing around it, laughing at the way you stiffened when he pressed your clit, sensitive from riding his thigh for an hour.
“Bedroom.” The finality in Hendery’s letting you know that there wasn’t room for argument. Quickly heading to the bedroom you wasted time laying on his bed, waiting for his next instruction.
“Do you think you deserve my dick baby? You were awfully friendly with him today.” You shook your head hurriedly, as you tried to get on your knees only for him to push you back down.
“I need you, please Hendery. S’ wet for you. Need you to ruin me.” Hendery’s smirk only grew at your choice of words. Quickly removing his clothes before coming closer to the bed, running his hands over your thighs so he could watch the way that you squirm. Knowing just how much you’ll come to regret your words.
“Mm really? Want me to ruin you?”
“Please.” Hendery’s hand slid up your thighs, squeezing them intermediately before moving to the hem of your underwear, sliding his finger underneath the elastic. Pulling them to the side to admire your pussy that was glistening from your arousal.
“Aw you want me to fuck you like you’re a slut? Nothing more than my dumb little toy.”
You gasped as he blew on your clit, cold air causing you to twitch and grind your hips against the hair. Hendery only repeated the action before licking a line up your cunt, moaning as he tasted your arousal.
“My little slut tastes so good. No wonder Jaehyuk tried to get a taste.” Before you could even show your distaste at hearing that name in such an intimate time Hendery was attaching his lips to your clit. Hands flying down to tangle themselves in his dark hair, hips attempting to grind against his face when he placed a hand on your stomach, keeping your hips pinned to the bed so that you were at his mercy. Only able to pull on his hair and writhe uselessly at the onslaught of pleasure until Hendery got tired of it. And Hendery never got tired of eating pussy.
30 minutes of pure torture. Whenever he felt you clenching around his tongue too much, or a moan would get a little too loud he’d slow down. Blow on your clit, and wait for you to start to sob before going back in. Sucking on your clit even harder before repeating the process, ruining so many orgasms that you felt as if you were going insane. All of your thoughts were of Hendery and your absolute need to have him in you.
“Aw poor little baby. Look at you, trying to hump the air cause I’m not touching you.” Hendery’s condescending tone only added to his constant teasing, and belittling. Hendery loved making you like this, absolutely dick dumb. Your eyes were completely glazed over while your body shook from your dry sobs. Something so alluring knowing that you completely wanted him, hearing the constant begging leaving your swollen lips.
Leaning in he placed his lips on yours. It took a minute for your addled mind to realize what was happening. When the confusion cleared you wrapped your arms around him, pulling him down so that he was flush against your chest, his shirt rubbing almost uncomfortably over your sensitive nipples. His hands went to your waist, squeezing them gently before sliding his hands up under your shirt, cupping your breasts and enjoying the way that you moaned into his mouth. Quickly Hendery went to work, squeezing and flicking your nipples while his tongue slid into your work, licking into your mouth and sliding over the back of your teeth. Fingers dancing down your sides before slipping into your underwear, two fingers circling over your hole before shoving them inside of you, a high pitched moan leaving your mouth at the unexpected intrusion.
Pleads leaving your mouth when he attached his lips to your throat, sucking bruises higher up your throat. So many that you wouldn’t be able to hide them next time you say your ‘flirty’ coworker’. No way that any simple excuse would work for it, everyone would instantly know what happened and who did it. Practically branding his name into your throat, everyone being able to see that you’re his. All his to do whatever he wanted to. His little doll. His slut.
His finger’s steadily massaged over your sweet spot, thumb rubbing over your clit. Your hips were grinding against his hand, whining at the intense need to cum, scared that he was going to pull away at the last minute and cause actual tears.
“You're so close, baby. Cum for me. Cum for daddy.” Hendery drank in all of your moans as you orgasmed, still working his fingers inside of you while placing sloppy kisses along your neck, one kiss for each bruise. Pulling his fingers out and placing them in his mouth,  savoring the sweet taste of your cum that coated his fingers. Watching as your eyes slowly fluttered open to look at him, watching him clean his fingers with a content sigh. Fire already starting to burn again, knowing that the only way you would be satisfied is for him to fuck you.
“Kunhang please.” You rarely said his actual name during sex, so this was more than a pleasant surprise. His cock throbbed hearing it roll off your tongue, and he realized while he was teasing you he was also teasing himself the same exact way. Pulling his fingers from his mouth he quickly helped you take off your shirt, throwing it across the room before hastily taking his jeans off, almost falling off the bed in his haste. A quiet giggle left the both of you when he finally plopped back down, pulling you on top of him, swiftly kissing you again. Less dirty than earlier, but just as needy on both of your parts. Hands entangling in your hair before roughly forcing you to sit up, watching you arch back into nothing.
“Come on baby. You want me baby right?” Hendery smirked while watching you eagerly nod your head. “Then ride me baby. Fuck yourself on my dick.”
Hendery released your hair and watched how you quickly moved to sit on his cock, barely bothering to pull your panties to the side. Another loud moan leaving your mouth as you felt your tight cunt stretch around his dick, placing your hands on his chest to brace yourself.
“Come on slut. You were begging for my dick right?” A hard slap to your ass punctuated his sentence, causing you to clench unconsciously around his dick. “Then move.”
You started to bounce on him, setting a frantic pace nervous that if you didn’t he wouldn’t let you cum again. You could not handle another lost orgasm. Hendery rewarded you with a deep groan, gripping your hips tightly as you rode him like you were on a mission. His dick sliding over all of your sweet spots, the fire in your stomach growing intensely. You tried so hard to get yourself there, not wanting to disappoint him but your thighs started to shake. Already weak from being edged for almost two hours, and they only started to burn at the intense pace you had set, spreading up your hips and down to your knees.
“Can’t.” You cried out, trying to keep your set pace. Hendery’s fingers dug into your waist. You were certainly going to have bruises of his hand prints all over you.
“Can’t wait. My dumb doll can’t ride dick?” Hendery set his heels into the bed, before fucking up into you as you continued to cry that you can’t.
“You wanted my dick. But can’t even ride my dick.” Hendery grunted as he resumed the pace you set, fucking up into you hard. Your mouth hanging open, drool dripping from the corner of your mouth. “So fucking pathetic. My dumb fucking doll.” Hendery slid one of his hands to your clit, rubbing it roughly with his hand causing your second orgasm to hit you, cum squirting out of you and coating his thighs and stomach. At the feeling of you clenching around him he couldn’t himself and came, continuing to fuck his cum deeper into you, only stopping as you started to whine. Wrapping his arms around you, not bothering to pull out as he turned you both to the sides.
“I’m tired.” Hendery laughed at how childish you were speaking, cuddling your head further onto his chest.
“Take a nap doll. Just know we’re not done yet.” You sighed before taking his advice, the room slowly darkening and the sound of his soothing heartbeat lulling you to sleep.
God, you should’ve stayed awake. You knew he was planning something funny when he told you to sleep, but you hadn’t imagined he would wake you up with his slow thrusts, hands on either side of you while you bit the pillow below you, attempting to muffle your moans. The sounds of people stirring in the dorm caused slight fear to flow through you, panic at the thought of Ten coming into the room and seeing Hendery fucking you.
You tried to bury your face further into the pillow but Hendery had other plans, pulling your hips up so that you were on four and grabbing your hair. Yanking it causing your mouth to drop open and a loud moan to echo through the room. You already knew without seeing them that the boys had heard it, the sound of shuffling feet and forks hitting bowls stopping it briefly. You could already imagine Ten, and Lucas’ cocky smirks at the sound, Winwin’s face turning bright red from embarrassment, while Kun just tried to change the topic because of  Xiao and Yangyang asking too many questions. It wasn’t the first time that they had heard you, and knowing Hendery it wouldn’t be the last.
“You're thinking about them hearing us.” You tried to deny it but Hendery only slapped your ass, the smack resounding throughout the room and if you didn’t know better you could almost hear one of the boys saying ‘ouch’. “The way you’re clenching around me. Thinking about one of them walking in huh? See me fucking my kids deeper into your messy cunt, still dripping with my cum from earlier.” Another loud moan, and an awkward cough from the other room. White, hot shame flooded your veins, knowing you wouldn’t be able to face the boys afterwards.
Teeth digging into your lip, trying to protect the little bit of dignity you still had around the boys. Hendery didn’t like that one. Grabbing your hands and holding them against your back, forcing your arch to deepen. In this position every thrust hit your g spot directly, and you weren’t able to muffle your moans, only able to helplessly drool at the intense sensations. Your continuous lack of noise was only angering Hendery, wanting all of the boys to know how good he makes you feel. They would never be able to see you like this, dick dumb and drooling, only able to mumble as he fucked into you like this.
“Dumb fucking doll. Feel so good you can’t even moan huh?” Pulling your arms you groaned from the pain as he pulled you back into his chest, free hand sliding around to play with your poor, swollen clit. Abusing it once more as he rubbed sloppy circles over it, pressing his thumb against it harshly causing a scream to leave your mouth.
“My dumb doll. My little fucking slut. All mine.” You felt yourself clench around him, orgasm rapidly approaching along with some pain from overstimulation.
“Cum for me doll, all over my dick just like this.” With one last well placed bite from Hendery at the base of your throat you felt your orgasm wash over you. Warm, tears flowing down your face as he continued to fuck into you, squirting more of his thick, hot cum into your tired cunt. Hendery slowly pulled out, laying you onto the bed before tossing on some sweatpants and heading to the bathroom.
After very thorough aftercare, you were sitting in bed with Hendery, eating noodles while watching some random movie that he had put on, Bella sensing your slightly distressed state was curled up on your lap. Glancing over at Hendery you watched as he laughed before shoving noodles into his mouth, feeling a smile tug at your lips.
No matter how many sides he had to, you loved each one of them.
⇣Random Crack Dialogue⇣
“Should we go check on her? It’s been an hour since we’ve heard anything.”
“I don’t even want to sleep in my bed, they’ve contaminated the whole room.” Ten whined while throwing himself onto Lucas.
“Let them be, we all saw how Hendery grinned at us while getting the food. He’s doing all this on purpose.”
“It is weird to say I’m proud of him.” All of them turned to Yangyang, who only shrugged his shoulders as he went back to stealing Winwin’s chips. “I mean out of everybody I would’ve thought that Lucas would be the first one to do that.”
“Hey! Can you guys believe him?”
Silence ensued, as everybody believed it.
812 notes · View notes
superfics-forone · 3 years
Text
Just Friends
SUMMARY: Sam asks the group who they think are the “hottest” members of the team. You don’t make the cute for Bucky’s top five.
Bucky x TALL!Reader
W/C: 5,800
WARNINGS: angst, swearing (like two f bombs), cannon level violence, Bucky being an idiot (it’s a warning), physical insecurities, fake science
A/N: I wrote this because the top 5 situation actually happened to me IRL and when you don’t make someone you like’s list, it sucks. Also, this is in no way meant as being against people who are smaller! I am just a tall/plus size woman and sometimes that really makes you feel like you’re unattractive to people because you don’t fit the gender norm. Let me know what you think! I’m pretty new at this so I’d appreciate the feedback!
Also, HUGE shout out to @princessmisery666 for being so patient and supportive! Thank you for being my beta! Your comments were so incredibly helpful!
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The best part about working with Bucky was that you got to see him everyday. The worst part was that you were constantly reminded that he wasn’t attracted to you.
You knew you were a good looking woman, people would often tell you that. It usually happened when you weren’t necessarily feeling your prettiest. Somehow that made it worse. Others would compliment you but he never would. Even when you knew you looked good- like you had put in extra effort and actually tried that day- still he would give you nothing.
You sat across from him in the common room looking at all the other Avengers wondering why he didn’t feel the same when you finally got your answer.
“Alright man,” Sam called out to the group. “Top five, let’s go.”
“Top five?” asked Clint, not sure if he wanted to know the answer. “Top five what?”
Everyone looked back to Sam, - “Top five on who you think is lookin’ most fine”.
“You want us to rate each other?” You asked incredulously.
“Naw, man!” Sam replied. “I want to know who you think are the top five most attractive! Male and female!”
You slunk back into the sofa, both curious and terrified of the conversation to come.
You heard huffs from the others but no one objected. Vision went first and of course he could only answer with; “I believe all of you are inherently lovely. I couldn’t possibly pick a top five of those who I find to be most attractive.” As soon as he finished and the room was no longer focused on him though he leaned over to Wanda and said something in her ear that made her blush.
You brought your cup up to your lips to hide your smile. You loved how happy they were after having been through so much heartbreak.
Sam went next, “Imma say, Wanda, Nat, Gamora’s got it goin’ on…for an alien…Hill - don’t tell her I said that- and…Y/N,” he said throwing you a wink.
You smiled but shook your head with a roll of your eyes. You knew the only reason he said your name was because you were in the room. He was trying to be kind. Men didn’t seem to be actively lining up to be with you…it might have something to do with them being intimidated by you being an Avenger but who could possibly know
“Sam you would think anything with legs that gave you the time of day was hot,” Bucky shot.
The others laughed but Sam shot back, “alright, Tin Man, who’s on your list? Okoye?”
“Yeah for one! I would be dead before I could make a move but sure! She’s dangerous and stunning!” He took a swig of bourbon as if he was done.
“Alright then who else?” Wanda leaned forward winking at you.
You shot her a warning look. You had only told her how you felt about Bucky once on a drunken night after finding out he had gone on date with another recruit. Jealousy had reared its ugly head and she could feel your angst that night. You had asked Wanda how; “A tiny little thing that would barely hold her own in the ring,” could possibly catch his eye. It was as if the only thing he saw you as was an ear to listen to his problems and a soldier he could rely on in the field. You had seen them together multiple times since then and every time it pained you more.
She was everything you weren’t. Barely five foot, two inches tall with a skinny frame to match, and a nicely formed backside. In reality you couldn’t be mad at Bucky. He deserved to be happy. He was your friend and you wanted that for him. You just wanted that particular happiness too.
“Okay, okay!” Bucky’s hands came up in surrender as he finished his drink and leaned back to think, He sat so close to you his left bicep of his folded arms brushed yours with every breath he took.“Okoye? Sure…uh… in no particular order…Wanda, Nat, Darcy, and the little woman, Kris, from reception.”
“It seems, Mr. Barnes”, said Vision, “that you prefer mates who are significantly smaller than you. I do believe that of that group, Wanda is the tallest one.”
“Which isn’t really saying much because I’m only five, six”, she complained.
“The perfect height my dear.” Wanda smiled at that and kissed Vision’s cheek .
You took another long sip of your drink as you registered what had been said. Your stomach soured as you finished the glass. Not so much from the alcohol as from the realization that the man who you had secretly been pinning over didn’t even list you as attractive enough to make his top five.
You felt like you knew why. It was just too much. You weren’t small and dainty like those on his list. You had big bones and a can do attitude. You wouldn’t take crap from people. And because you were so tall you could come off as intimidating…or so some men had told you.
“I’m going to get another drink,” You whispered to no one in particular.
But Sam really couldn’t read a room and he called you out. “No, no! Who’s on your list Y/N?”
“Oh no!” You said dryly. “I’d have to be much drunker for that conversation. For now, I'll keep my opinions to myself.”
You spotted Bucky’s surprised face before you made your way over to the bar. The conversation carried on behind you as you refilled your glass. Thoughts of Bucky’s revelation clouding your mind. You were never going to be good enough for him because you were just too big. Too tall. Too much. He liked the smallest, most petite women in the compound. Feeling your emotions swelling,you decided to grab the bottle and made your way quietly out of the room while the ruckus continued.
Once on your floor you closed the door behind you with a forceful slam, “FRIDAY!! Lock the door and don’t open it for anyone!!”
“Yes, Miss Y/L/N.”
The rest of the night was spent on the floor in your sweats drinking from your bottle of whiskey and feeling sorry for yourself and all the things you couldn’t be because of biology.
You weren’t sure if it was a drunken stupor or your imagination but at one point you could have sworn you heard a knock only for it to go away just as quickly.
The next day you had an awful hangover and didn’t get out of bed. Bucky came to your door for your normal morning run.
“Tell him I’m not going, Friday.”
“He would like to know why, Miss.”
“Tell him it’s my time of the month.”
“Your time of the month was last week, Miss.”
“Who’s side are you on, Friday? Just tell him I’m sick.”
“Very well, Miss.”
It was silent for a few moments and you had thought that would be enough to get Bucky off your back for now.
“Mr. Barnes would like to know if you’d like to see Dr. Cho, Miss.”
“Uuuugggghhhh,” you rolled out of bed and marched over, irritated that the one person you didn’t want to see was at your door.Pulling it open with a huff you practically screamed. “What?!?”
“Woah!” Bucky jumped back startled at your disheveled appearance and puffy eyes. “I just want to make sure you’re alright, doll. You didn’t come back last night and you never answered the door when I came to check on you.”
So there was a knock last night.
You couldn’t look him in the eye as your eyes filled with tears again, this time with shame. “I’m fine, Bucky.” You started shutting the door quickly and he stuck his hand on it preventing you from closing it again.
“Y/N…what’s…”
“Bucky, I just need some rest okay?” You cut him off, “I’m fine. I promise I’ll be right as rain tomorrow.” You smiled weakly.
Bucky searched your face as if trying to find what you weren’t telling him in your eyes. But you were an Avenger and you knew how to school your features to show nothing.
Bucky sighed and shook his head, “alright, doll. I’m here if you want to talk about anything.”
“Yes, fine,” you said pushing him out the door. Your eyes had flooded with tears again. You didn’t look up to see Bucky’s hurt and concerned face as you closed the door again and put your back to it.
You held your breath listening for his footsteps to retreat before sinking to the floor and crying.
The next day was an all out avoid Bucky day. You weren’t sure you could take the questions and worried looks he was sure to give you. Instead, you decided that what you needed was time away from such temptation. And so, you went in to ask Steve for an overseas long assignment.
“You sure about this one, Y/N. It’s a 9 month solo mission. It’s going to be long and it’s going to be lonely.”
“Yes. I’m sure. I need some time to myself.”
Steve looked at you with understanding and pity. He could see how you felt about Bucky even if he couldn’t get his best friend to see it as well.
“Alright,” he said, “suit up. You leave in 2 hours.”
South Africa wasn’t the worst assignment. It wouldn’t take long for you to get the information you needed. And the separation from Bucky would be good for you.
You finished checking your last weapon and loaded it as well as a pair of throwing knives, a gift from Bucky, into your duffle before looking around your room one more time.
You headed to the door and almost made it out until the picture of you and Bucky on your dresser made you stop. Picking it up you smiled at the memory of the minor league baseball game you’d attended together. You had won tickets and no one else was available that night. When you’d offered the tickets to Bucky you couldn’t believe that he said yes! It was the true start of your friendship, talking about life and how much it had changed for him but also how little it had changed for you. He couldn’t believe it when you started singing all the words to “I’ll never smile again”.
“You think I don’t know music? I’m quite cultured, Mr. Barnes!” You had said with a laugh.
“I never said you weren’t, sweetheart!”
Coming back out of your revelry with a start you put the picture back down on the dresser and turned to the door. You were going to get over this infatuation, even if it killed you. Supposedly time heals all wounds. Well you weren’t sure if there was ever going to be enough time but you could get distance.
Hours later Bucky came in to tell you about the relationship problems he was having with the girl from reception. She just didn’t seem to understand him and kept picking fights. You had become his confidant and had saved his relationship once before so would most likely be able to do it again.
He was almost to your room when he noticed your door was ajar. Slowing he moved closer and pushed it in silently. The room was neat and quiet. Your bed folded nicely as though it was always that way.
Bucky knew that you never made your bed until you were right about to get in it. Or unless you were going on a trip.
Checking carefully he started to notice things missing. Your favorite slippers were gone. Your tooth brush and favorite stuffed animal turtle were also missing. All of the things that you felt you had to have with you were gone.
Then he saw the picture frame on the dresser. Picking it up he too smiled at the memory, then frowned. It was still here. You almost always took this with you. Why was it still here but everything else you held of value was gone.
“Friday, where is Y/N?”
“Miss Y/L/N has volunteered for a mission, sir.”
“Where?”
“That information is classified.”
“Okay, when will she be back?”
“That information is classified.”
“Alright, who else went on the mission,” he asked hoping whoever it was would have your back.
“All other Avengers are currently in the compound.”
“So she went by herself?” Bucky fumed.
“That information is classified.”
“Damn robots!”
Bucky stormed out and found Steve in the kitchen.
“Where did you send her, punk!
Steve didn’t even look up from his newspaper, knowing exactly what his best friend was talking about.
“She’ll be fine, Buck. She just needs some time to herself.”
“So send her to Fiji! Not a solo mission!!”
“This is her call Bucky. You’ve got to trust her.”
Bucky spun on his heel and headed to the computer lab. He knew he was being irrational but if no one else was going to look after your well-being then he was going to have to do it himself.
It took him all day but he finally unencrypted the files for your mission. You were to carry out a recon mission in Port Elizabeth on a supposed Hydra base. It was a far cry from Fiji but you wouldn’t be in immediate danger.
Still he came in everyday to check in on your reports and find out how the events in the country were progressing. He had even convinced Torres to help him set up notifications to his phone if something were to go wrong. He had, very nicely, threatened him with knives if he didn’t set up Stark’s satellite to keep an eye on you.
After three weeks he was really starting to miss your company. Every time he went out with Kris from reception he realized that she just wasn’t as interesting as you. They didn’t have the same camaraderie and chemistry as the two of you did.
So when his phone dinged at 2:30am he looked at the notification. It was a satellite image of you on your apartment porch drinking coffee. You seemed at ease and calm at your small table. Your hair down and wearing a long red dress. He went to the live feed of the satellite but when he did you weren’t there.
Bucky refreshed the page again thinking it may be just an error. But his rising heartbeat made him think differently. When the screen came back he noticed the upturned coffee mug and the newspapers on the ground.
Bucky flew from his bed and raced down the hall to the command room. Steve and Tony were already there, still in their pajamas.
“…it’s not as if she has a tracker in her, Stark!”
“Well maybe she should! Maybe we should make it a standard issue! Everyone gets a tracker! Friday! Make a note!”
“Yes sir.” replied the AI.
“Tony, we need to focus on the…”
“Where is she?!” Bucky growled.
Both men turned around in surprise. Steve recovered first, his eyes sympathetic for his friend’s worry. “We’re not sure, Buck. These images were only taken 4 hours ago.” He clicked to zoom in closer, “but we did get this.”
He zoomed all the way into the kitchen window behind where you’d sat drinking coffee, where a face reflected in the glass. Bucky looked on in rage, hands in tight fists, as the image became clearer and Zemo came into focus.
You awoke with a start, unaware of your surroundings. You sat on a bed in a bare room with a single one way mirror. A metal chair sat by the wall and you noticed no handle on the door. Trying to piece together what had happened you recalled your last memory.
A beautiful morning, the sun shining on the water, a freshly brewed cup of coffee. You sat in your apartment in Port Elizabeth, a pain in your neck…
“Zemo,” you whispered.
“Ah, you’re awake,” said the speaker above you. “I’m sorry about the dramatics but it was necessary. You’re a very important piece of the puzzle.”
“Let me guess,” you said as you rolled your eyes. “You don’t like the way the world is being saved by the Avengers and you think you could do better.”
“Actually I want something else, мой дорогой. I need you.”
“What?” you cried befuddled. “Why on earth would you need me?”
“Do you know what TX-39 is?”
“Yes, I have an entire codex of arbitrary numbers logged away in my brain,” you retorted.
Zemo didn’t pause at your sarcasm. “TX-39 is the compound used to create nucleotides that bond onto nerve endings. By doing so they suspend brain signals stopping all neuro function and rendering the subject immoble. Something you have experienced first hand. By combining a nanotech inhibitor with this nerve ending your subject’s direct motor function is now open to...suggestions.”
You sat astounded as you registered what he had told you. You looked down at your hands but you didn’t feel different. There was no way something like this could work.
“What better way to get rid of a super soldier than to create your own?” Zemo said. You felt a slight buzz in your spine as you stood up quickly trying to resist. Running to the mirror you pulled back your arm, ready to punch your way out, but an inch from the glass your arm stopped. “Ironic that the Soldat will come to save you, only to be the one who needs to be saved.” With that you felt the electricity in your spine disappear and your body was your own again.
Frustration built within you as you sat back on the bed for a moment processing his statement. Your face became more and more incredulous until finally you burst out laughing. You continued laughing harder and harder at the absurdity of Zemo’s reasoning.
“You think I’m the one he is going to come after,” you laughed. “You think you picked the right mouse for your trap? You’re going to wait a long time if you think he’s going to come and get me.”
During your first few weeks away you had missed Bucky fiercely. Leaving him behind so abruptly had felt like severing a part of yourself, but the last few weeks had been good for you. You had forgotten what it was like to rely on yourself. You had grown into yourself again and had realized how little Bucky had actually cared for you when he never came to find you. He hadn’t so much as picked up the phone after you had left. It was as if you had never existed in the first place.
“Bucky doesn’t care about me,” you said sardonically. “He never has. We are barely even friends.You picked the wrong mouse, Zemo. ”
“We’ll see, дорогой,” and with a click he was gone.
Your brain shifted in and out of the conversation with Zemo. Looking down at your hands, you prayed it wasn’t true. You knew that what had happened at the window was real but you didn’t want to believe it. You had been turned into a weapon to hurt your friends. To hurt Bucky.
Crossing your arms over your chest you laid down on the bed, rolled over to face the wall, and cried.
Avengers Compound
“There is a five mile radius around Agent Y/L/N last known location,” said Fury. “Two man teams will sweep the area in a grid formation while the drones scan for energy signatures. Any questions?”
All those around the table sat silent, but nodded confirmation of their understanding of the objective. Fury looked around the room, “This mother fucker took one of ours and I wanna know why. Let’s get going.”
Bucky stood up from the table and made his way out of the room to the Quinjet hangar. Steve pulled on his arm before entering the plane. “I know what’s going through your mind right now Buck, but we are going to get her back”.
Bucky looked at the ground before raising his eyes to his friend. “He knew how to get to me, Steve. He always knows where to hurt me. He couldn’t use you. You’re too difficult to overpower. So he had to pick her. I just,” Bucky wasn’t sure how to finish his thought. Words never came easily to him and he wasn’t sure he could really express what he was feeling. “I just want her safe.”
After you had left Bucky felt hollow inside. He hadn’t realized how much joy you brought to his day with your smiles and jokes. Always knowing what to say, or at least, what he needed to hear. Your departure made him realize he needed you. Boarding the jet Bucky knew that no matter what happened he was going to tell you how he felt.
The team had been sweeping through the city for what felt like hours and there still hadn’t been any developments. Walking through another alleyway Bucky scanned the cobblestone streets. He was beginning to lose hope at ever finding you at all when he saw an uneven line in between two buildings.
Pressing his comm link he called out, “Steve, I’ve got something. I’m going to check it out.”
“Bucky, wait for backup. We’ll come to you.”
Feeling along the wall Bucky felt a draft between the cracks. Unholstering the gun at his hip he pushed against the wall feeling it give way.
“I’m going in. Follow my location.”
“Bucky, wait!” Steve called.
Bucky ignored his calls and continued down the dimly lit hall. The walls opened up to a staircase leading down to a command room. The musky scent of decay and scotch filled Bucky’s nostrils.
“Privet, Soldat,” Zemo called from the darkness.
Bucky whirled around to find nothing.
“Have you come for your little mouse?”
Still searching, Bucky said nothing as the sound came from a different corner of the room.
“Have you realized how much you miss her?”
Bucky circled again, coming up to a window.
“I wonder what it is? Is it her sweetness that draws you? Or her willingness to see you for more than the killer you are?”
Bucky frowned. Zemo was playing with him.
“Or have you realized that her fire is what draws you to her? She does have a talented tongue. I’ve seen her put it to good use,” Zemo provoked. “I have enjoyed having her in my company, but it seems you really never appreciated her spirit, did you?”
Bucky continued searching the room as Zemo continued his monologue. Coming up to the computer he saw a paused video feed. It played as soon as he stepped forward.
Bucky saw you in a room, still in your red sundress. Your hair was matted and you had the look in your eye of anger and exasperation. When you spoke, Bucky felt the wind rush out of his lungs.
“Bucky doesn’t care about me,” you said sardonically. “He never has. We are barely even friends.”
“A pity she never saw you care, but I suppose it’s only fair that you tell her now.”
The door beside the window clicked open with a beep. You came out of the cell with a look of wary surprise on your face. “Bucky?”
“Now is your moment, Sergeant Barnes. Why not tell her how you feel before it's too late,” called Zemo.
Bucky holstered his gun and walked toward you. “Y/N? Are you okay? Come on, let's get out of here.”
He grabbed your hand and turned to go but you were rooted to the spot. Your breathing became heavy as you felt the tingling sensation in your spine again.
“Bucky, I need you to leave,” you cried, dread dripping from your voice.
“What? No,sweetheart, come on! I’m not leaving you.”
“Bucky, I…” you started.
“Last chance to declare yourself, Soldat.”
Looking up in anger, Bucky yelled. “Shut up, Zemo. I’m not performing for you-” Bucky’s head turned in surprise as you punched him across the face. “What the hell, Y/N?”
“It wasn’t me!” you cried as you dropped and kicked his legs out from under him.
Bucky rolled over quickly to pick himself up as you followed him swinging punches at his head and kicks to his stomach. Your moves were both erratic and efficient as they landed multiple times. It was all Bucky could do to block your assault and move out of the way.
“This isn’t me!” you cried again between punches. “Zemo is controlling me with nanotech!”
Bucky threw up an arm to block your punch before flipping you around by your arm and pressing you to the wall. He didn’t want to hurt you but he was pretty sure that it wasn’t the most comfortable position.
“It’s okay, Y/N. We’re going to get you out of this.”
Your foot kicked his leg and you pushed yourself over and around his head and away from the wall. Grabbing the knife at his hip as you slipped out of his grip, you threw it into his thigh.
Bucky looked at you in surprise and annoyance. “Sorry!” you winced. Pulling the knife from his leg he tossed it to the floor.
“Look, Y/N. I’m not going anywhere, but try not to kill me, okay?”
“It’s not like I’m doing this on purpose Bucky!” you huffed as you charged at him.
“Well I’m just trying to get you out of the problem you put yourself in!” You had grabbed another knife and went to stab him. Bucky caught the knife and twisted your hand but the knife snagged your dress and tore the skirt as you fought to wrestle it away.
Your eyes flared with anger and the next punch you threw had a little extra heft in it.
“That I put myself in? How about you, Mr. Barge-into-a-room-with-no-back-up!”
“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you liked being saved! Although you’re one to talk! You came on a mission without backup!” Bucky rolled across the computer console out of the way of your next kick, getting agitated at your attitude.
“Because I needed space!” you yelled as you followed him around the computer desk.
“Space? Space from what?” Bucky yelled back, actually throwing a punch that you easily evaded.
“You! You idiot!” it burst out of you as you came up swinging before pushing him to the ground.
Bucky looked up at you with his eyes wide. You had him straddled under your legs. Bucky brought his arms up to block your punches while he tried to talk to you.
“Why would you need space from me? I don’t understand. You left without warning, without saying goodbye! Your mission was classified so I had to hack F.R.I.D.A.Y to even find out where you were!”
Your body was starting to fatigue from the strain of the fight as you continued to land blow after blow. You were fit and well trained but because your body was not your own you were blowing through energy rapidly. Your breaths were coming in short gasps as your chest heaved at each punch. If you kept this up, you weren’t sure how much time you would have before your body gave out entirely.
“Y/N, you left a huge gap! You were my best friend and then you were gone! You wouldn’t even talk to me before you left! You didn’t tell me you were leaving. I couldn’t even call you because the mission was supposed to be classified!”
Maybe it was the fatigue, maybe the hopelessness you felt, but you gave him everything you had left as you pummeled into him. Frustration over your situation, frustration at him, frustration at yourself built up inside you.
“I WILL NOT BE YOUR STAND IN! I will not be second best. I can’t look on anymore as you find someone smaller, cuter, littler to fit perfectly into your life! I deserve to be wanted! I deserve to be desired!” you screamed at the man beneath you as tears streamed down your cheeks.
Bucky finally bucked his hips and flipped you under him, pinning your hands to the ground next to your head.
“Get off of me! Let me go!” you had finally had enough. The damn had broken and your emotions and insecurities raged inside you. Your body pulled and twisted to break free from his grip.
“You do deserve to be desired,” Bucky said calmly as he caged you beneath him. “You are nobody's stand in. You’re perfect just as you are.” He wanted to say more but it was all he could do to keep you pinned under him.
The team burst down into the control room to see you openly weeping and Bucky on top of you.
“Nat, I need you to put an electric burst in my arm.” Bucky said looking up.
“I’m sorry, you what?” asked Nat.
“Just do it!” he said as you fought harder against him.
With a nod from Steve, Nat waved her baton and zapped Bucky’s arm causing both of you to scream in pain. When your body finally stopped seizing, the lack of adrenaline and the pain and fatigue caught up to you and you passed out in Bucky’s arms.
“You want to explain why I just pushed fifty thousand volts through you two?”
“Zemo infected her with some kind of nano tech. She hasn’t been in control this entire time.”
Steve scanned around the room. “Alright team, fan out. See if you can find out where Zemo went. I want teams down here with sat links up in 30 minutes.”
Bucky circled the gears around in his arm to get it up and running again before scooping you carefully off the ground.
“Buck, get her on the next jet out. Dr. Cho and Banner will be waiting for you to get back.”
For the second time you woke up in an unfamiliar place, and struggled to get your bearings. You felt like you’d been run over by a pick up truck and tumbled through a dryer.
Feeling slowly returned to your hands as your eyes opened and your vision cleared. You were in one of the medical rooms at the compound you realized.
“Look who decided to wake up,” said a gruff voice.
Turning your head you saw Bucky sitting in the chair beside you. He looked fresh and his eyes twinkled at you.
“Bucky,” you croaked as you tried to sit up.
“Woah there. You just relax. Your body is still trying to catch up from Zemo’s nanites.”
You slumped back down in the bed as Bucky leaned forward to take your hand.
“You had me worried there for a minute, doll. You’ve been sleeping for days. Wasn’t sure when you were going to pull through.”
“You doubt me, Barnes?”
“Not for a second, sweetheart, but I sure as hell missed you.” Bucky smiled, then looked down for a moment as if trying to find the right words. “We need to talk about why you left, Y/N.”
“No, Bucky, I...it doesn’t matter.” You say looking away. “It’s not important.”
“I don’t know, I’d say you thinking you don’t matter to me is pretty important.” You turned to look at him sharply, mouth open in a small gasp. “And I’d also say that you thinking I don’t find you desirable is pretty important too.”
You sat in shock as he spoke, not wanting to break the way you had during your fight.
“Y/N, you are perfect. You knew me before I even knew myself. You light up the whole room just by being in it. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. You are strong, independent, kind, and gentle. You’re like a tall Asgardian goddess. Every inch of you is beautiful. I thought back to the last time we talked...before you left, and I realized why you did. I know why you thought I wasn’t attracted to you. That night, Sam’s list,” he paused as if pained at the memory, “I didn’t add you because...well, because I was so confused at how I was feeling. You were my friend. I didn’t realize till it was too late that I was already falling in love with you. And I most definitely didn’t want to give Sam anymore ammunition.”
You looked up at him sharply when he dropped the L word.
Bucky stood to reposition himself on the edge of your bed. Taking your face in his hands he leans forward until your foreheads barely touch. “I didn’t want to ruin things with you. You were my friend. You were perfect and I thought you deserved better so I ran to find something that was everything you weren’t. You are my perfect fit. You are just right. You are the only person I want. Please tell me you’re mine. Please tell me I haven’t lost you.”
You brought your hand up to rest over his as you let his words wash over you.
He wanted you. He thought you were beautiful. All of you. All of the parts people had told you were too much: your height, your attitude, your independence - he wanted it all.
You did something that you wanted to do for months, you brought your lips up to his softly and gave him a chaste kiss. “I was always yours Bucky,” You pulled his hands down and pushed him away to look into his eyes, “but I won’t be taken for granted anymore. I shouldn’t have to leave for you to want me. I shouldn’t have to be gone for you to realize what you had. I left for a reason. It was to find peace with myself. I realized that I didn’t need your approval. I didn’t need your desire to be whole. I won’t settle for someone who can’t see what’s right in front of them. I know my worth.”
Bucky looked at you sorrowfully as he held onto your fingers, memorizing their shape. “I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to make you feel like you weren’t enough.”
“I know, but it happened. I don’t need you to be happy, Bucky...” Bucky hung his head in dejection. “...But I do want you.”
Bucky looked up at you sharply to find your eyes full of love and warmth. You wanted him. Even after all that happened - how he forced you away, how he made you feel like you weren’t good enough, you were still willing to forgive him. You wanted him even with all his faults.
You brought him closer for another kiss and savored the way his lips fell across yours. Breaking away to look up at him you said what you had been holding in for months, “And I love you too.”
Tags: @princessmisery666 @dreamwritesimagines
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crossbowking · 3 years
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Honey & Whiskey
Summary: (Set throughout series) When the world ended, everything good died along with it. At least, that's what Daryl Dixon thought. But then he met a stranger in the woods and his entire world turned upside down.
A/N: HOLY MOLY. I can't believe it's here! I've been working on this story since October and I'm so excited for y'all to finally read it. This story is absolutely my favorite of all time and it's 20,835 words of pure Daryl POV (which is just *chef kiss*) — that being said, it’s also a slow burn...and I mean an entirely self-indulgent SLOWWWW burn. So strap in, y’all.
PSA: There are mentions of 'Dog' in this story that are sort of non-canon, especially now that we've seen a backstory as to how Daryl actually found him in the show...so for the sake of the story, let's just pretend 10.18 doesn't exist :)
Anywho, please be sure to share your thoughts with me afterward!
Happy reading!
xx Jess
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The sun dipped below the horizon, the sky alight with brilliant orange and yellow rays.
Daryl tilted his head back, glancing up at the shifting colors as night drew near. The air was crisp, a welcomed change from the usual summer heat. The streets of Alexandria were fairly empty, most already settling into their respective homes before nightfall. Though the unusual silence was near deafening, the archer paid it no mind.
He appreciated the quiet these days.
The grass poked and prodded beneath where he sat, but he simply shifted, drawing one knee to his chest, the other leg splayed out in front of him. He picked absently at one of the holes in his worn jeans, tugging at the string hanging off the fabric.
And then he thought of her.
Leaves and twigs crunched beneath Daryl’s boots as he traversed through the otherwise silent woods.
The farm was destroyed, winter was approaching, and there seemed to be an ever-looming pang of hunger in the pit of his stomach. He pushed away any inkling of weakness, forging ahead with determined strides. His people were waiting for him, hunkering down in an abandoned diner less than a mile East, hoping he’d bring back something to dull the growing ache inside all of them.
Daryl’s steps faltered — ‘his’ people.
The thought had come so naturally it nearly took him off guard. The feeling of community, of belonging, was something he’d never felt in his entire life. It was a strange notion, but that drive, that need he felt to provide, pushed him further out into the forest.
The archer kept his footsteps light, practically imperceptible, listening for noises only a seasoned hunter could distinguish. When a twig suddenly snapped off to his left, he froze, scanning the stillness around him. He raised his crossbow, the weight familiar in his grasp as he took a small step in the direction the noise had come from.
A moment later, Daryl spotted it — a lone raccoon just a few yards ahead.
The archer felt a rush of adrenaline, a tingling sensation in his fingertips as they hovered over the trigger. He exhaled a soft breath, focusing all his attention on the animal. But with his concentration elsewhere, it wasn’t until after he’d pulled the trigger that he’d realized he was no longer alone in the woods.
Daryl spun around, coming face to face with an incredibly grotesque-looking walker, teeth bared, arms outstretched, launching itself towards him. The archer braced his arm against the biter’s throat just in time, grunting under its weight as he stumbled backward.
“Shit,” he snarled through gritted teeth, tossing his unloaded weapon aside as he fought against the attack. Using his free hand, he reached for the hunting knife secured on his belt, grabbing onto the hilt.
But before he could yank it out, the world began tilting rapidly around him.
Daryl’s back slammed against the harsh wooded ground, his foot tangled up in an exposed root. He spat another vicious curse as the walker thrashed on top of him, snapping its mangled jaw closer and closer, growling in starved desperation.
Then suddenly, it stilled.
The archer froze, his gaze locked on the unexpected sight of one of his arrows now embedded through the biter’s temple. He snapped out of his reverie, shoving the dead off his chest and scrambling back to his feet.
And then he saw her.
She stood just a few feet away, her rapid breathing mirroring his own, looking as though she was seconds away from passing out. Her hair was matted by a mixture of blood and dirt, her clothes were torn and ratted, her wide eyes seemingly too big for her gaunt features. She had a nasty cut across her temple, blood dripping down the side of her face, past her neck, pooling at the collar of her shirt.
Daryl’s eyes bounced back up to meet hers — his guarded and calloused, hers unsure and fatigued.
“I’m assuming — this — is yours?” she spoke between heaving breaths, tossing something in his direction, the motion causing her to sway unsteadily.
Daryl glanced down, spotting the raccoon he’d shot earlier now lying at his feet — but the arrow he’d used to kill it was no longer there.
Now, it was lodged through the skull of the walker that’d attacked him.
The archer focused back on the stranger — but before he could respond, her skin was suddenly paling, her body crumpling to the ground like a paper doll.
Daryl stared down at her unmoving form in bewilderment. He could tell by the shallow rise and fall of her chest that she was at least breathing. The cut on her temple was still bleeding, the wound looking fairly recent — his best guess was a concussion or exhaustion. Most likely both.
He took a small step forward, almost hesitantly. But when his approach didn’t stir the stranger, he found himself facing an unforeseen decision.
He could leave her — he should leave her. She wasn’t his responsibility. She was a complete stranger. She chose to intervene, not him. She made that choice. Not him. Her.
Though as he turned to leave, as he scooped up the limp raccoon and shoved it into his bag, as he grabbed his strewn crossbow and strapped it across his back, one thing became startlingly clear.
He couldn’t do it — he couldn’t just walk away.
Daryl huffed a defeated breath. “Shit.”
He could’ve sworn that day in the woods was an entire lifetime ago.
Rick had nearly lost his damn mind when he’d returned to the diner with not only a small woodland creature in his pack, but a stranger slung over his shoulder.
“Is she dead?” Carl pressed nosily, hovering by the booth where the stranger was now laid out, still unconscious.
Lori quickly intervened, moving forward with one hand on her protruding belly, the other grabbing onto Carl’s shoulder. “Step back, baby. Give Hershel some space to work, okay?” she cautioned, pulling the inquisitive boy away.
“Oh, it’s quite alright — I’m just about done here anyways,” Hershel drawled, setting aside the blood-soaked cloth he’d been using to tend to the stranger’s head wound.
Daryl watched the exchange from across the room, arms folded tight against his chest, ignoring the stares coming from other group members.
The front door of the diner suddenly swung open as Rick marched through. He shot the archer a disapproving look before addressing the others. “I think we’re okay,” he finally spoke, re-holstering his pistol. “If Daryl had been followed here, I’m sure we would’ve known by now. We’ll keep somebody on watch — jus’ as a precaution — an’ get back on the road first thing.”
The archer gnawed on the inside of his cheek as the rest of the group began whispering amongst themselves, clearly distressed about the possible danger his decision may have put them in.
Rick approached a moment later, his steadfast strides immediately setting Daryl on edge. “Can I speak with you?” the sheriff hissed, glancing over his shoulder and locking eyes with Lori’s worried gaze. “In private?” he added in a hushed tone before turning around and storming back outside.
Daryl scoffed under his breath, pushing away from the counter he’d been leaning against and stalking after Rick.
The archer yanked the door open, the cool air biting at his skin as he followed suit. He spotted Rick pacing back and forth across the parking lot, surveying the surrounding woods warily before spinning around and facing him head-on.
“What the hell were you thinkin’?” Rick demanded, taking a step forward.
Daryl fought back the instinctual urge to be on the attack. Instead, he took a breath. “What was I supposed ta’ do, man? Jus’ leave her out there?” he countered, eyes narrowing.
“You don’t bring her here,” the sheriff snapped before pinching the bridge of his nose, attempting to collect himself. “We — we have ta’ look after our own, Daryl — you know that. We have no idea who she is, where she came from, who she’s with,” he specified sharply before shaking his head. “That’s jus' not a risk I’m willin’ ta’ take. Are you?”
Daryl held Rick’s gaze for a long moment before looking away, glancing towards the tree line. The sheriff had a point, he couldn’t deny that. But there was something inside him, a nagging sensation in the pit of his stomach that said otherwise.
Rick slowly nodded, interpreting Daryl’s silence as an answer. “When she wakes, she’s gone,” he finally resolved, stepping past the archer and back towards the diner without another word.
But Daryl couldn’t let it go. “Hey,” he called after Rick, the sheriff’s strides halting mid-pace as he glanced back, the harshness in his features fading, unveiling a man with nothing but the weight of the world on his shoulders. “Back when Carl got shot, if Hershel had turned us away, what’d ya think would’a happened?”
Rick paused before exhaling a long, heavy breath, some of the fight leaving him with it. “That’s not — it’s not the same —”
“It is,” Daryl interjected. “It’s the same damn thing.”
The air grew quiet as Rick’s shoulders sagged, one hand resting against his hip. “My family…” he suddenly murmured, shaking his head sadly. “I can’t risk it.”
Daryl nodded once. “I get it. After everythin’ with Shane an’ Randall, losin’ the farm the way we did, I get it, man,” he rasped, regarding him earnestly. “But m’ tellin’ ya…this’s the wrong call, Rick.”
The diner door suddenly flung open, interrupting the conversation and revealing a flustered-looking Glenn.
“Uh, hey guys,” he interrupted, sending the pair an awkward wave. “Just wanted to let you know that she’s, uh — she’s awake.”
Rick and Daryl shared a look.
“And kinda freaking out,” Glenn quickly tacked on at the end.
Daryl didn’t hesitate. He stormed past Rick and back into the diner, making a beeline towards the small crowd that had gathered around her.
“— okay, it’s okay. We’re not gonna hurt you, sweetheart,” Lori spoke softly, holding her hands out in front of her as though approaching a caged animal.
The archer pushed through the group, spotting the stranger a moment later.
She was still sitting in the booth he’d initially laid her out in — though now she was huddled away from everyone, back pressed up against the wall, knees drawn to her chest in a cowering stance. Her gaze darted frantically around the room, clearly confused and disoriented and overwhelmed.
Daryl couldn’t even begin to understand why, but he felt a wave of outrage course through him.
“C’mon, people. She ain’t a fuckin’ zoo animal,” the archer growled abruptly, taking a defensive stance in front of the booth and motioning for the rest of the group to move back. “Give the girl some damn space.”
The archer waited until everyone stepped away before turning back around and glancing down at the stranger. He was surprised to see her eyes trained on him — even more surprised at the flush of heat that spread across his chest. He held her gaze a second longer before Rick appeared, parting through the crowd like Moses and the Red Sea.
The stranger shrunk away.
Daryl wondered why the sight bothered him so much.
Rick came to a slow halt in front of her. “What’s your name?” he finally asked, his tone measured and firm.
The stranger did another sweep of the room, as though surveying just how much possible danger she was in. But when her eyes flashed up towards the archer once again, some of her unease faded. “Y/N,” she spoke hesitantly.
Rick nodded slowly before extending his arm. “Rick Grimes.”
Y/N looked at the gesture cautiously. Still, she reached out and took his hand in hers.
She appeared composed but Daryl noticed the slight tremble in her grip.
After a brief shake, Rick grabbed an empty chair and sat down at the end of the booth, resting his forearms against the table. “So, Y/N,” he began, giving the archer a look of resolve. “What happened ta’ you?”
The time after the farm fell was foggy, each day blurring into the next, suffocated by a heaviness the unknown inherently brought. But that day, the day he met her, ran stark against the rest.
Y/N had told her story like Rick asked her to do. She spoke of the small group she’d been staying with and the refuge they’d built, ultimately destroyed by the dead. Everybody had scattered — and if they hadn’t…
Any previous hesitancies the group held melted into understanding and sympathy almost immediately.
Daryl had known Y/N would be accepted into the group. Rick had hardened since the farm, but he wasn’t heartless. He wouldn’t be able to turn her away, just as the archer hadn’t been able to leave her out in those woods.
Spending the winter season on the run had been difficult for everyone — constantly running from the dead, cold and bitter nights, supplies growing scarce. The road was unforgiving, proving time and time again how completely fucked this new world was, how things would never return to the way they were, how this was now the new way of life.
Though for Daryl, if he was being honest, it wasn’t all bad — not in comparison to what his old life had given him.
He’d choose a lifetime of running over the stench of whiskey and the sting of belt buckles any day.
The only other person who’d appeared unaffected was Y/N. Besides showcasing a natural skillset in survival, she’d found her place amongst the group with ease — so effortlessly that Daryl hadn’t been able to recall what life looked like before her. She exuded a warmth that people were drawn towards — that the rest of the group clung to during the darkest of days.
But not Daryl.
He’d kept her at a distance, kept her at arm’s length because he refused to let her in as everyone else had.
Little did he know.
Daryl swiped at the beads of sweat dripping down the sides of his face.
The Georgian heat was nearly suffocating, blanketing over his body and setting his skin ablaze. He pushed away the discomfort, bending down and grabbing the ankles of one of the many walkers spread out across the prison’s courtyard. He’d lost track of how many bodies he’d dragged out, his group working tirelessly to clean out their newfound home.
The archer had just pulled the limp body through one of the fences, nearing the pickup truck used for disposal, when he heard someone approach.
“Need a hand?”
Daryl stilled — he glanced up, his eyes locking with Y/N’s, a small smile tugging at her lips.
Her hair was pulled back out of her face, a thin sheen of sweat laid out across her forehead. One hand rested on her hip, the other hovered near her face, blocking the sun rays. The sleeves of her shirt were rolled up past her elbows, streaks of dirt and blood visible against her exposed skin.
He realized then that she was really rather beautiful.
The intrusive thought caught the archer completely off guard. He quickly turned his attention downward, grunting a half-assed ‘nah’ before continuing his trek to the pickup truck, determined to preserve some space between them.
But instead of leaving, as he’d assumed she would, Y/N remained rooted in place.
Daryl faltered, the expression that flickered across her face hinting that maybe she hadn’t come to just ‘lend a helping hand’. She had something on her mind — he could tell by the way she snagged her bottom lip between her teeth, gnawing absently as she shifted her weight back and forth.
The archer dropped his hold from around the walker’s ankles and straightened. “What?” he demanded gruffly, curiosity getting the best of him.
Y/N’s eyes found his as she took a small step forward — Daryl fought back the urge to back up. “I, uh —” she paused, her mouth twisting to the side as though fumbling for the right words. “Just — thank you.”
Daryl’s brow furrowed. “For what?” he huffed.
Y/N’s head cocked to the side, seemingly surprised. “I — I don’t know,” she murmured, a soft, sort of bewildered laugh slipping past her lips. “For bringing me here, for introducing me to your people — for everything, I guess,” she expressed sincerely. “You could’ve just left me out in those woods that day — most people would’ve.”
The archer chewed on the inside of his cheek, feeling incredibly exposed for some strange reason. “Was nothin’,” he finally grunted, ignoring the prickle of heat at the tips of his ears.
“It wasn’t nothing,” Y/N replied indignantly, like she was offended at the notion that he didn’t deserve her gratitude. “You saved my life.”
Daryl shifted uncomfortably, wanting nothing more than for this interaction to be over with — because once that happened, he could go back to maintaining his distance, he could go back to allowing the air between them to be just that. “Figured I owed ya,” he finally mustered, recalling the first day they’d met.
Y/N’s lips curled up into a megawatt smile and Daryl could’ve sworn he’d never seen anything so damn captivating in his entire life. “Okay,” she grinned, sticking her hand out in front of her. “We’ll call it even then.”
The archer glanced down at the gesture before warily reaching forward, taking her hand in his, and shaking once, twice, three times. Her grip was firm and she didn’t seem to mind the grime coating his skin.
When she pulled away, Daryl felt the empty spaces she’d filled set ablaze.
Y/N shot him one last smile before turning around and heading back towards the courtyard. But she’d only made it a few feet when she paused, glancing over her shoulder. “Make sure you eat something, okay?”
She didn’t wait for a response — instead, she narrowed her eyes, shooting him a look in mock-seriousness as if to say ‘I’m watching you’. Then her face broke out into another grin before she sent him a small wave — and she was gone.
Daryl watched her leave, unable to pull his gaze from her retreating form.
He tried to ignore the mess his mind was becoming, littered with confusion and insecurity, the nagging voice that lingered telling him he’d never be good enough, strong enough, brave enough for anything other than what he’d always known.
He wouldn’t let her in — he couldn’t let her in.
But as he bent down, grasping onto either ankle of the walker at his feet, he felt a tingling sensation in his fingertips he swore had everything to do with the Georgian heat and nothing to do with her.
A gentle breeze roused Daryl from his thoughts.
He shifted from where he sat, reaching into the pocket of his jeans for the pack of cigarettes he kept there.
The package was falling apart, half-crushed, half-wrinkled from everyday wear and tear, but the archer slipped one of the few remaining cigarettes out anyway and caught it between his lips.
It hadn’t taken long for him to realize that keeping Y/N at arm’s length was a futile attempt — he’d been naive to think it was possible in the first place.
Before he knew it, she’d wormed her way into the forefronts of his mind and found herself a nice, cozy corner to call home. She’d done it as effortlessly as the blink of an eye or the beat of a heart. It just happened — no rhyme or reason, no explanation or logic. It just happened.
Which made leaving that much harder.
“Daryl!”
The archer ignored Glenn’s shout, marching further into the woods and approaching a snide-looking Merle. “C’mon, bro,” the younger brother grunted, worried if they didn’t leave right then and there, he’d change his mind and return to the prison with the others.
Merle’s booming laugh sounded, drawing Daryl from his thoughts. “Well, I’ll be damned,” the man sneered, tossing an arm around the archer’s shoulders. “Looks like somebody decided ta’ grow himself a big ole’ pair a’ cojones while I was gone,” he snarked, pushing Daryl forward and falling in step beside him.
The archer pressed his lips together, swallowing his retort and focusing ahead.
“Hey, wait up!”
The voice that sounded halted Daryl in his tracks. He spun around, spotting Y/N making her way through the forest, her strides long and determined as she headed straight towards him.
“Well, would ya look a’ that,” Merle quipped under his breath, leering at her approach, his tone sending a swell of aggravation through the younger brother.
“Jus’ gimme a minute,” Daryl quickly waved him off, ignoring the prickle of heat creeping up his neck as he trudged towards her.
Y/N came to a stop in front of him, slightly out of breath, her eyes searching his for a long moment.
She seemed to have something to say, a reason for chasing after him — but it was as though she couldn’t get the words together. She glanced down, shaking her head slowly before taking a deep breath. When she looked back up, Daryl noticed a resignation in her gaze that wasn’t there before.
“Are you sure about this?” she finally asked, her troubled expression sending a pang of guilt through him.
Daryl looked away. Truthfully, he wasn’t sure — he wasn’t sure about anything anymore.
He shifted his weight, focusing back on her. “Ya watch out for yourself, ya hear me?” he rumbled, pushing away the unexpected worry gnawing at him.
Y/N’s shoulders sagged in disappointment, her defeated expression damn near changing his mind altogether. “I will,” she murmured, a bittersweet smile ghosting across her features.
Daryl held her gaze a moment longer before nodding once, turning without another word.
But he’d barely taken a step when he suddenly felt her grab his wrist and twist him back around.
Before he knew what was happening, Y/N was hugging him. She threw her arms around his middle and squeezed tight, leaving Daryl completely and utterly dumbfounded. His arms hung limply at his sides, caught off guard by the surprising gesture. Though as soon as it’d begun, it ended. Y/N unwound herself from around his body and took a step back, a pink tinge to her cheeks he hadn’t noticed earlier.
She whispered a somber goodbye — though Daryl couldn’t hear it over the sound of the blood rushing to his ears — and then she was gone.
The archer fought back the urge to follow, telling himself over and over again that he was making the right decision — he was choosing blood, he was choosing family, he was choosing —
“Hey! Where’s my hug at, sweet cheeks?” Merle’s suddenly hollered, calling after Y/N.
She didn’t look back and Daryl fought back the impulse to start swinging.
But Merle just laughed, the noise loud and boisterous as he sauntered forward. “Damn, lil’ brother. Didn’t think ya had it in ya! I was startin’ ta’ think ya played for the other fuckin’ team’,” he jeered, clapping the archer on the back with more force than necessary.
Daryl’s entire body tensed up, his darkened gaze snapping towards his brother. He noticed then that Merle was also watching Y/N — though his eye line was fixated on one specific part of her body…
“Let’s go,” the archer spat under his breath as he spun around and stormed off, his hands balling into fists.
He had to walk away. Otherwise, he’d lose it — he’d give in to instinct, he’d allow the rage coursing through him to take over, and all of this would’ve been for nothing.
So he took a deep breath, relaxed his clenched fists, and dismissed any lingering thoughts of her.
Daryl scoffed at the memory, an unlit cigarette still caught between his teeth.
He pulled out his lighter and flicked his thumb against the wheel, sparking a small flame before inhaling a deep breath. The familiar taste of nicotine and ash filled his senses as he drew smoke into his lungs, immediately feeling a rush of calm flow through him.
Daryl existed in the quiet, taking another long drag of his cigarette. He pulled his legs towards his chest, resting his elbows atop his knees, letting his hands dangle in front of him. He watched the lit cigarette butt dim and dance between his fingertips, the embers burning off and drifting into the grass.
It’d only taken a single day for the archer to come to his senses — to realize the mistake he’d made in leaving with his brother. And if he was being honest, it’d had nothing to do with Merle. He couldn’t blame his brother because his brother hadn’t changed — his brother was still the same brash, volatile, ill-tempered redneck he’d known his whole life.
No, it was him — he was the one who had changed.
“Would ya slow yer damn roll? I ain’t the athlete I used ta’ be, ya know!” Merle bellowed from somewhere behind Daryl, clearly struggling to keep up with the younger brother’s pace.
But the archer didn’t slow, his strides matching the beat of his pounding heart. He ducked under tree branches and side-stepped exposed roots, the prison growing nearer with each step he took.
It wasn’t until Daryl heard a sudden thud, followed by a viciously snarled curse, that he slowed. He spun around, spotting Merle pushing up off the forest floor.
“Ya good?” Daryl called out, crossing back and reaching down, offering his hand.
But Merle just swatted him away, his expression twisting in contempt as he staggered back to his feet. “Lemme ask ya somethin’,” he growled. “How the hell ya think this’s gonna go, huh? Ya think those assholes are jus’ gonna forget ‘bout everythin’ that happened? Ya think we’re jus’ gonna hug it out an’ sing ‘round the campfire like some kinda damn afternoon special?”
The archer fought back the urge to roll his eyes. “Ya —”
“This ‘bout that skirt from yesterday? Huh? That it?” Merle steamrolled over his attempt to interrupt, taking a step forward, the brothers now toe to toe.
Daryl felt a prickle of heat flush the back of his neck, his chest tightening. Merle was just trying to get a rise out of him — he knew that deep down — but damn, was it working. “It ain’t ‘bout her,” the archer growled defensively, fixing him with a glare. “It’s ‘bout survival, ’bout rebuildin’ — ‘bout tryin’ ta’ make somethin’ outta this shit world. It can’t jus’ be us out here, man — not anymore.”
Merle rolled his eyes. “Oh, c’mon, did Officer Friendly force-feed ya that bullshit?”
Daryl stiffened before huffing a breath and waving his brother off. He turned away, determined to continue his trek back home before it was too late — but he’d only made it a couple of feet when Merle called after him once more.
“It ain’t ever gonna work,” the older brother voiced, his usually brash tone dimming into something surprisingly vulnerable. “It — it jus’ ain’t. Not after everythin’ — not after what I did.”
The archer glanced back, watching Merle’s notorious bravado finally melt away, replaced with something he could’ve sworn looked like guilt. “We ain’t dead yet, man,” Daryl rumbled simply. “Still time ta’ make shit right.”
Merle considered his words for a long moment — but before he could respond, the sound of barraging gunfire exploded through the air.
Daryl’s head snapped in the direction of the noise, feeling his stomach drop when he realized where exactly it was coming from.
He took off into a sprint, Merle’s pounding footsteps echoing directly behind him.
Daryl lied to his brother that day.
In his defense, it hadn’t been deliberate. When Merle had questioned his intentions, alluding to the idea that Y/N was the main reason for his urgency to return home, the archer had denied it.
He hadn’t known it back then, but the truth became startlingly clear once he’d made it back to the prison, marched up the pathway leading to cellblock C, and laid eyes on her.
Daryl found Y/N crouched down beside Axel’s unmoving form, one hand resting on his shoulder.
His steps faltered, feeling as though he was intruding on a private moment — but he couldn’t help himself. The Governor had attacked the prison, his people were shaken, and damn it, he just needed to make sure she was okay.
She stood a moment later, turning to rejoin the rest of the group huddled by the fence, her despondent expression filling his bones with a red-hot rage.
But then her eyes met his.
Y/N’s footsteps stilled, her gaze widening in disbelief as she looked at him. A heartbeat passed between them before Daryl noticed how she was holding herself — hunched over slightly, one hand wrapped around the opposite arm, blood seeping out from between her fingertips.
He crossed to her in three long strides, ignoring the heat that flushed his chest the closer he neared.
Instead, he focused on the wound — that he could deal with, that made sense.
Unlike the unexpected and rapid thrumming of his pulse.
“Daryl,” she breathed in disbelief, her voice thick as though the word had gotten tangled somewhere in her throat.
His name sounded like honey the way it rolled off her tongue.
He shrugged off his crossbow and tossed it aside, wordlessly reaching forward and pulling her hand away from the injury. He examined the laceration carefully — which upon closer inspection appeared to be a gunshot wound — though luckily enough, the bullet seemed to have only grazed the side of her arm.
The archer reached into his back pocket, grabbed the red rag he kept there, and gently pressed it against the wound. “Jus’ keep pressure on it, alright?” he rasped, guiding Y/N’s limp hand to rest over the cloth, stalling the blood flow.
He glanced down at her, doing a slight double-take when he realized she was watching him, a slightly strained smile pulling at her lips. “You came back,” she whispered, her eyes warm despite the blood splattered across her cheek, the pallor in her complexion.
Daryl swallowed the lump in his throat, incredibly aware of how little space remained between them. He managed a stiff nod in response, his voice suddenly lost.
But Y/N’s smile merely grew, like the first hint of sunshine after a devastating storm.
And the tightness in his chest finally faded.
The archer inhaled another long drag from his cigarette, the smoke spilling past his lips and disappearing into the growing night.
Returning to the prison had given Daryl a sense of purpose, a sense of hope — he was back where he belonged and the threat of the Governor just didn’t seem so insurmountable anymore.
And then his big brother went and got himself killed.
Daryl stormed across the field that led to the prison’s courtyard, shoulders set, fists balled, eyes rimmed red.
The Governor would pay — he’d pay for what he’d done.
To Glenn, to Maggie, to countless others.
He’d pay for what he did to Merle.
The archer’s footsteps faltered, only briefly, when he spotted Y/N pacing back and forth behind the gate. Her head snapped towards him as he approached, her worried expression melting into relief as she quickly pulled the gate open for him.
“You okay?” she called to him, brow furrowing as she craned her neck, now looking behind him. “Where’s Merle?”
Daryl kept his gaze forward, digging his fingernails into the palm of his hand as he marched past her without a second glance. “Dead,” he grunted, ignoring the prickling sensation growing behind his eyes.
“What?” he heard her exclaim, though he didn’t turn around — he kept his momentum pushing ahead, hellbent on going after the Governor and taking him down once and for all.
No matter what the cost.
He stalked towards where he’d parked his motorcycle, slinging his crossbow over his back and mounting the bike in one swift motion.
But Y/N was just as quick.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” she jogged towards him, planting herself in front of the bike, an alarmed look in her eyes. “What’re you doing?”
Daryl felt a swell of anger wash over him, an unusual feeling when directed towards her. “Move,” he growled, using his heel to knock the bike’s kickstand up.
Y/N’s brow furrowed, his intent becomingly startling clear. “No.”
He was caught off guard by her protest, though snapped out of it just as soon — his scowl deepened, his eyes darkening, seeing nothing but redness and fury and Merle’s reanimated corpse flickering through his mind. “Move, damn it,” he snarled once more.
But Y/N stood her ground regardless of the wariness in her gaze. “No.”
The archer’s rage churned inside him, his grip white-knuckled around the throttle. “Ya —”
“Please, don’t do this,” she interrupted his brusque retort, shaking her head. “I promise — I promise — he’ll get what’s coming to him, but Daryl…this is not the way.”
He knew deep down she was right, but he didn’t want to hear it — he didn’t want to hear ration or reason or the pity in her voice.
He didn’t want to hear any of it.
“I’m sorry,” she suddenly whispered, emotion clouding her eyes. “God, I’m so sorry about Merle. I’m —”
Something inside the archer snapped. “Ya know what, ya can drop the damn act,” he hissed, springing off the bike and shoving it to the ground with a deafening crash. He ignored the way Y/N flinched as he barreled towards her like a surging storm. “Ya can stop pretendin’ like anyone in this fuckin’ place gave a single shit ‘bout my brother!” he fired back, his voice rising. “Or me, for that matter!”
Y/N recoiled away from him, eyes wide. “I’m —” she started, shrinking under his heated approach. “I didn’t —”
“Forget it,” the archer spat, unable to stop the fervor spewing out of him. “Ya don’t know shit.”
A beat of silence passed as they stared one another down — but the more the quiet stretched on, the more a different emotion began to seep through the archer.
Guilt.
Unable to watch the hurt settling across Y/N’s features, Daryl turned away, allowing his brewing vehemence to carry him across the courtyard and to the doors leading into cellblock C. He paused at the doorway, unable to stop himself from looking back.
He watched Y/N’s head lower, her shoulders drop, before she slowly reached down, grabbing his toppled motorcycle by the handlebars and propping it upright.
The archer swallowed his remorse, buried his instincts, and stalked inside.
Daryl hissed a breath as the burnt end of the cigarette singed his fingertip. He stubbed the flame out against the heel of his boot, flicking the butt away into the grass.
Still, to this day, he felt bad about losing his temper. The anger had clearly been misdirected, but in the moment, he hadn’t been able to get a handle on it — Y/N had simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Despite the aftermath of his outburst weighing heavily on him, he’d kept his distance from her throughout the days that followed.
Old habits die hard.
Daryl woke with a start, his eyes snapping open, chasing away lingering images of the nightmare he’d found himself immersed in.
Sleep had never been kind to him, even before everything went to shit — tonight was no different.
He could still see flashes of redness and death, smell the scent of rotting corpses and bloodshed, hear the sounds of tormented screams and anguished whimpers —
Daryl’s thoughts faltered as he quickly pushed up onto his elbows, straining his ears.
He realized then that the whimpering wasn’t coming from just his imagination. No, it was real — and it was coming from somewhere inside the cellblock.
The archer sprang up, untangling himself from the bed sheet coiled at his feet before shuffling towards the doorway. He paused there, his senses on high alert, the hair on the back of his neck standing on end as he listened carefully.
When another soft cry sounded, he moved from the entryway, slowly slinking past cell after cell and following the noise.
It wasn’t long before he found himself standing outside Y/N’s cell.
Daryl peered into the shadowed room, just barely able to make out the shape of her beneath the covers. She murmured something jumbled and incoherent, her words muffled as though her face was pressed into the pillow. She tossed and turned for a moment before finally settling.
When she remained still, the archer nearly left for his own cell.
But then he heard a quietly gasped sob and began moving forward before he could think twice.
Daryl crouched down beside Y/N’s bedside, turning on the lantern she’d left sitting on the floor. He shielded his eyes from the light until they adjusted before focusing on her.
She was curled up, covers drawn to her chin, faint tear tracks marking the sides of her face. Her brow was knitted, causing lines to form across her forehead — he fought back the urge to reach out and smooth them away.
Apparently, he wasn’t the only one sleep was unkind to.
Another soft whimper blew past her lips and Daryl reached for her, gently shaking her shoulder.
Y/N immediately jolted awake, shooting upright, disoriented and alarmed as her bleary eyes darted around the cell.
“Hey, hey,” Daryl quickly rasped, holding his hands out in front of him. “It’s alright.”
“What — what happened?” she croaked, her voice thick with sleep, her wide gaze finally settling on him.
The archer shook his head, pulling back slightly, second-guessing his decision to wake her. “Nothin’ — nothin’, alright? We’re okay.”
“What —” she sounded, a bewildered look flitting across her face as she settled her hand against her undoubtedly racing heart. “Are you okay?”
Daryl’s brow furrowed at her question, confused as to why that would be her next question and not ‘what the fuck are you doing in my cell?’ Regardless, he nodded once. “Yeah,” the archer brushed off her concern, sitting back on his haunches. “Ya — uh, ya were cryin’,” he revealed hesitantly, scratching the back of his neck as he watched for her reaction.
Y/N straightened, the top bunk just grazing the crown of her head as she dabbed her fingertip at the corner of her eye, appearing almost embarrassed suddenly. “Oh,” she whispered, wiping away the tears that’d formed.
Daryl gnawed on the inside of his cheek. “Ya alright?” he rasped after a long moment.
She quickly nodded her head, waving off his worry. “Oh, no — yeah, no, I’m fine,” she replied flippantly, shooting the archer a tight-lipped smile.
Despite Daryl seeing right through her bullshit, he didn’t push.
Instead, he nodded once and clambered back to his feet.
But he’d just barely turned to leave when Y/N spoke up once more. “Hey, Daryl?”
The archer faltered, glancing back at her. “Yeah?”
Her demeanor appeared collected, though he could see her hands twisting nervously around the sheet splayed out across his lap. “I —” she paused, seemingly working up the nerve to say what was next. “Are we okay?”
Daryl felt his chest tighten, the heaviness that’d grown between them splintering in that moment. There was something about her words, the smallness in her voice, that had him kicking himself for being so damn stubborn, for not making things right sooner.
She raked a hand through her tousled hair. “I just — I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have — I mean, I wasn’t trying to —”
“Stop,” Daryl cut off her rambling, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I was actin’ like an asshole,” he grumbled admittedly, the shame he’d buried creeping back in.
The tension in Y/N’s features softened as she regarded him. “It’s okay.”
For some reason, her easy forgiveness made Daryl’s insides churn.
“Nah, it ain’t,” he shot back sharply, almost wishing she’d curse him out instead. “Wasn’t right ta’ take that shit out on ya.”
“You were grieving,” she justified, her explanation simple and understanding.
Daryl worked his jaw, clenching and unclenching as he stared at the far wall of her cell, his gaze darkening — he didn’t deserve her compassion. “Well, ya probably stopped me from doin’ somethin’ real stupid,” he muttered dryly.
She merely shrugged, still completely unfazed. “Grief makes us do stupid things,” she murmured, defending him yet again. “I am sorry about your brother, you know,” she whispered a moment later, the sincerity in her voice knocking down the wall Daryl had worked so hard to keep between them.
He nodded slowly, clearing his throat before speaking again. “Merle was no hero,” he finally rumbled. “But he died tryin’ ta’ make shit right,” he mustered, his eyes finding hers amidst the shadows of her cell.
Y/N shot him a small, somewhat sad smile. “Then he didn’t die for nothing.”
Daryl swallowed the lump that formed in his throat, feeling as though his heart was moments away from bursting out of his chest. It was as though the cell was shrinking around him, the walls closing in — and the only thing keeping him above the surface was her.
“Get some sleep,” he managed gruffly, turning to leave once more.
“Daryl?”
The archer stilled. “Hm?” he sounded, not trusting his voice.
“Can you stay?” she whispered, so softly he almost missed it entirely. “Just a little longer?”
Daryl shifted his weight back and forth, feeling the overwhelming urge to run, to retreat to his own cell and pretend he hadn’t heard her.
But the slight tremble in her voice, something others surely would’ve missed, pulled him right back in.
The air thickened as he walked towards her, every fiber of his being screaming at him to make a run for it while he still had the chance. Y/N watched him approach, slightly wide-eyed, his steps faltering the closer he neared. She maneuvered slightly on the bed, moving towards the wall as though making room for him beside her.
Instead, Daryl did the most rational thing he could think of — he grabbed the empty mattress on the top bunk, slid it off the frame, and dropped it onto the floor next to her.
Y/N’s brow furrowed. “Oh, you don’t have to —”
“G’night,” Daryl interjected abruptly, avoiding her gaze as he quickly turned off the lantern and laid down. He crossed his arms tightly over his chest and squeezed his eyes shut, his face surely on fire.
The silence that followed was deafening.
Daryl peeked an eye open, certain she could hear his thrumming pulse from where she sat. But a moment later, the bed creaked as she settled back down against the rickety mattress.
He released the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.
The archer wasn’t sure how much time passed before Y/N’s breathing evened out, the stranger from the woods all those days ago finally falling into a deep and restful sleep.
He, on the other hand, remained awake until morning came.
She’d asked him to stay and that was exactly what he was going to do.
Not even sleep could take him from her.
Everything changed after that night.
After the people from Woodbury moved into the prison, the demand for supplies nearly tripled. The archer found himself going on runs more often than not, hunting for game or scavenging local businesses — but the days and nights he was home were spent with her.
They fell into a routine of sorts. The days were spent working the fence or tending to things around the prison — but most nights, they’d sneak away from the others and spend hours sitting atop one of the unused watchtowers.
It became ‘their spot’, as Y/N had put it.
Some nights they sat quietly, existing in comfortable silence, watching the vast night sky. Other nights, Daryl would learn things about her — those were his favorite nights.
Y/N would talk about anything and everything — the mundane stuff, the deep stuff, the things in between — while Daryl would rest his head against the watchtower and close his eyes, listening to the way her voice rose and fell. She’d tell stories of her life before the end and her hopes for the future as though there still was one.
And over time, despite the world decaying at its very core, even Daryl started to believe that maybe, just maybe, there could be one.
She became his solace.
Hell, maybe she always had been, but he’d been too damn stupid to realize it.
“I’m sick of hearing myself talk,” Y/N suddenly spoke, a soft laugh following.
Daryl’s eyes snapped open as he glanced over at her, his brow furrowing.
She shifted from where she sat, the side of her face illuminated by moonlight. “Tell me something about you,” she said sweetly, her knee brushing against his as she rested one shoulder against the watchtower, giving him her full attention.
The archer felt his face warm under her curiosity. “Ya know plenty,” he grunted — and it was the truth. He’d told her more about himself than anyone else in his entire life.
“Oh, come on,” she countered and though Daryl couldn’t see it, he sensed an eye roll. “Just one thing? Something I don’t already know and then I’ll leave you alone.”
He huffed a breath. “Fine,” he grumbled, giving in.
Y/N waited patiently as the archer fell into thought, racking his brain for something to share — something even worth sharing. The silence that dredged on wasn’t helping either — if anything, it only added to the pressure. His life wasn’t all that interesting, never had been, never would be.
Daryl snuck a glance at Y/N — well, maybe that wasn’t entirely true.
“Uh,” he rumbled, scratching the back of his head. “I don’t know. Guess I always wanted a dog?” he mustered, the confession coming off more so a question than an actual statement.
Still, Y/N’s face broke out into one of her million-dollar smiles. “I can totally see you with a dog,” she beamed. “You never had one?”
Daryl almost shook his head, but then a faint memory came to mind. He looked away, propping his elbows against his knees and focusing straight ahead.
“When, uh —” he cleared his throat uncomfortably, picking absently at the skin beside his thumbnail. “When I was a kid, I was walkin’ home from school. Found this stray covered in mud, damn near skin an’ bones. An’ so I took it home,” he pressed his lips together before snorting a breath. “Even tied my shoelace ‘round its neck like a leash.”
“Aw,” Y/N sounded softly.
“Mhm,” the archer mumbled, the corner of his mouth quirking up.
After a stretch of silence lingered, she spoke up once more. “But you didn’t keep it?”
Daryl began picking at his skin a little more aggressively. “My old man — he was on a bender. Started screamin’ an’ hollerin’ when he saw me ‘cause he ‘didn’t wanna take care a’ no mangy mutt’,” he bit out, echoing his father’s words from all those years ago. “He threw somethin’ — don’t remember what. Maybe an empty whiskey bottle. Poor dog was scared outta its mind,” he murmured, shaking his head. “It pissed on the floor, right in front a’ him.”
Y/N’s expression turned troubled, her lips forming into a small frown.
Daryl ignored the tightness growing in his throat. “So he tossed the dog in his truck, drove off, an’ that was that — I never saw it again,” he finished, wincing as he ripped a small piece of skin off his thumb, drawing a drop of blood.
“What’d your dad do?” Y/N asked, her voice small.
The archer wiped the blood off onto his jeans. “Don’t know,” he shrugged, glancing over at her. “He never said an’ I never asked.”
She held his gaze for a long moment before letting out a soft sigh.
Daryl turned his head, staring out over the railing and into the darkened forest. He’d never told anyone that story — not even Merle, who’d been doing another stint in juvie at the time. The truth was, he carried a lot of guilt from that day. Sure, he was only a kid, but he was the one who’d brought the stray home in the first place.
Whatever happened to that dog…well, that was on him.
“Hey,” Y/N murmured, gently poking the side of his arm, drawing him back to her. “Maybe we’ll find you a dog of your own someday.”
Daryl quirked a brow, unconvinced.
“You never know,” she shrugged. “What would you name it?”
He scoffed softly in response, shaking his head.
“Come on,” she reached over and poked him once more. “Humor me.”
“How ‘bout this,” the archer relented. “If — an’ that’s a big-ass if — we ever find a dog someday, ya get ta' name it.”
Y/N’s face immediately lit up. “Me?”
“Mhm,” he nodded his head, feeling the corners of his lips twitch.
She exhaled a breath, her gaze widening. “This…this is a shit-ton of pressure, Dixon,” she whispered, the wheels in her mind, very obviously, turning.
Despite everything, a soft laugh rumbled from deep inside Daryl’s chest, the sound strange and unfamiliar. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d genuinely laughed — the noise got stuck in his throat, like his body was physically rejecting the sensation.
When he noticed Y/N watching him, a cheeky grin plastered across her face, his skin flushed.
“Okay, okay, let me think…” she grew serious, closing her eyes and resting her chin against her clasped hands. Not even a second later, her eyes shot open. “Got it!”
Daryl motioned for her to continue. “Lemme hear it.”
“Alright,” she shifted, facing him head-on. “Dog.”
The archer’s brow knitted together, his gaze narrowing. “Dog?”
“Dog,” she nodded resolutely.
“Ya — ya wanna name the dog ‘Dog’?” he questioned dubiously.
“Yup,” she grinned, popping the ‘p’.
Daryl rolled his eyes, fighting back a smirk. “Ya got a couple a’ screws loose, ya know that?” he teased, tapping the side of his head.
“Shut up,” Y/N laughed softly, nudging him with her elbow.
A beat of quiet passed between them before Daryl cleared his throat. “We ought'a head back,” he grumbled, starting to stand.
But then Y/N reached out, grabbing onto his hand. “Hang on,” she objected, looking up at him. “Just a few more minutes?” she asked, gently tugging his arm down.
The skin on his hand tingled beneath her touch as her gaze, warm like honey, melted further into his.
Before he could think twice, he found himself settling back down beside her, his hand still intertwined around hers.
Besides, when had he ever been able to say ‘no’ to her?
Daryl could’ve sworn those nights up in the watchtower were the best nights of his life.
Then the prison fell.
And destroyed everything good along with it.
“Do you miss her?”
Daryl’s eyes snapped open, just then noticing the quiet that’d settled over the funeral home. He glanced over at Beth, who remained seated in front of the piano, her kind gaze watching him curiously.
Settling further inside the casket he laid in, the archer turned to stare up at the ceiling, folding one arm behind his head, the other laid out across his stomach. He ignored Beth’s question — not because it wasn’t true, but because he knew if he spoke, if he started talking about her, the hollowness inside his chest would swallow him whole.
“I think she’s still out there,” Beth assured him quietly, steadfast in hanging onto whatever hope she could muster. “I think they all are.”
Daryl grunted softly in response, not trusting his voice.
He wanted to believe that — he wanted nothing more than to believe that Y/N and the others were out there somewhere, somewhere safe. But he wasn’t a foolish man — and he just couldn’t bring himself to feign the kind of certainty that came so effortlessly to Beth.
“‘And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith’,” she suddenly murmured, her eyes glowing against the candlelight, a bittersweet smile tugging at her lips. “Daddy used ta’ quote scripture — that was one of his favorites,” she explained, her voice growing thick at the mention of her father. She pulled herself together before continuing. “I have faith,” her words were resolute, as though not only trying to convince him but herself as well.
The archer huffed a breath, crossing his arms over his chest. “Got enough for the both a’ us?” he muttered dryly, quirking a brow.
Beth laughed, breaking the heaviness that’d spread. “Sure do,” she beamed before shooting him a meaningful look. “You can thank me later.”
With that, she swiveled around on the bench and faced the piano once more, her fingers dancing along the keys, filling the room with a gentle melody.
Daryl wasn’t a religious man — never had been, never would be.
He didn’t buy into all that bullshit. If there was a God out there…what the fuck was he doing? Where was he? Why didn’t he stop the world from ending? Why did he let the bad destroy the good, time and time again?
He just couldn’t put his faith into something so cruel, so merciless.
Daryl wasn’t a religious man.
But for the first time in his entire life, he closed his eyes and prayed.
The archer felt his throat constrict.
He tilted his head back, looking up at the darkened sky. The sun had melted into the Earth, in its place thousands upon thousands of littered stars, surrounding a glowing crescent-shaped moon.
Maybe he’d been wrong. Maybe there was a God out there — some higher power or greater being — who’d been listening that night in the funeral home.
Because somehow, someway, despite all the odds stacked against him…he’d found her.
Daryl felt his lip split beneath another vicious punch, his head snapping to the side.
He was losing strength, his bruised body slowly giving out on him as two of the Claimers continued to relentlessly beat him. It seemed like no matter how hard he fought back, he just couldn’t get the upper hand.
He was outnumbered and unarmed, but as long as their attention remained on him, he wouldn’t back down — because once they were done with him, they’d move on to the others.
They’d move on to her.
Daryl caught Y/N’s horrified gaze from the other side of the road — she was knelt in front of Tony, who had a fistful of her hair in his grip, simultaneously holding Michonne at gunpoint. Y/N was struggling against his hold, attempting to break free, her features twisted in pain.
A low growl rumbled from deep inside the archer, a red-hot rage coursing through his veins as he fought even harder against the two men.
He managed to dodge another punch, but in the process, connected with a swift jab to the ribcage. He exhaled sharply, losing his breath as the two closed in on him once more — though as the archer braced himself for the next strike, he noticed that the men had suddenly frozen in place.
Daryl followed their stares, finally understanding what had caused the abrupt standstill.
Rick was staggering away from the leader of the Claimers, red staining the bottom half of his face — the archer didn’t even realize it was blood until he saw Joe. The man swayed unsteadily on his feet, eyes wide, mouth agape, as his hands reached for where his throat should’ve been.
Taking advantage of the distraction, Michonne grabbed Tony’s gun and turned it on himself, shooting him once. Daryl followed suit, landing a solid hook against the side of Billy’s face. He heard another gunshot ring out but was too focused on the man at his feet to notice. Without any hesitation, the archer stomped the heel of his boot into the man’s skull, killing him instantly.
He backed away from Billy’s crushed form, stumbling over Harvey’s body, a bullet hole now between his lifeless eyes. He spun around, steadying himself against the hood of the car in front of him as he worked to control his heaving breaths. He’d turned just in time to see Rick mercilessly stabbing Dan, over and over again until the man’s center was nothing but a mess of blood and guts.
And then he saw her.
She was still on her knees, though now hunched over beside Tony, staring silently at his unmoving figure.
Daryl pushed away from the truck and rounded the hood, his heart leaping into his throat as he made a beeline towards her. His footsteps faltered the closer he neared, the sight before him suddenly registering — Tony had been shot through the neck by Michonne, but the front of his skull had also been caved in.
His gaze flickered towards Y/N, just then noticing the blood-soaked boulder clasped tightly in her hand.
It took every ounce of strength to not rush forward, to not pull her into his arms and hold her close because damn it, she was alive, she was okay, she was here.
The archer stepped over Tony’s body, slowly crouching down in front of Y/N — when his approach didn’t stir her, a jolt of unease shot through him. Her vacant eyes were trained on the dead man, her features expressionless and ashen. There was a cut just above her eyebrow, a small trail of blood trickling down the side of her face, but other than that, she appeared relatively unharmed.
Daryl gently took her hand in his and carefully unclasped her fingers from around the rock. He tossed the boulder aside before settling down, kneeling opposite her, his deep blue eyes maintaining a watchful look.
The archer brushed his thumb over the back of her limp hand, squeezing softly a moment later.
And then, almost hesitantly, she squeezed back.
Daryl held his breath as her eyes found his, welling with unshed tears, the helplessness in her haunted gaze twisting his insides. “I never killed someone before,” she whispered suddenly, choking on her words as though speaking shards of glass.
He wasn’t used to seeing her this way — she’d always been so steady, a light others were drawn towards, that he’d been drawn towards. And now…well, now he wished the Claimers would come alive so he could rip them apart all over again.
Unable to stand the sight of her broken expression any longer, Daryl reached for her. “C’mere,” he rasped, slipping his hand behind the back of her head and pulling her forward.
Y/N’s features crumpled as she fell against his chest, a hitched sob catching in her throat. She buried her face into the crook of his neck, gripping onto the front of his vest as though he was the only thing keeping her afloat.
He wrapped his other arm securely around her back, keeping her cradled against his body. “S’ alright,” the archer rumbled as she held on tighter to him, her frame trembling as she cried. “I got ya, Y/N, I got ya.”
Daryl wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, woven around one another, his pounding heart echoing hers.
But he didn’t mind — because he’d found her.
And nothing else seemed to matter much with her engulfed in his arms.
The weeks that’d followed nearly destroyed them all.
With unrelenting heat, dwindling supplies, and the hollowness of loss inside each of them, morale had been at an all-time low. The little amount of food they’d managed to scrounge up had been divvied into morsels — though not enough to soothe their aches of hunger. The water supply eventually depleted, leaving their throats raw and mouths like cotton as they walked — day after day, down winding road after winding road, searching for salvation that was nowhere to find.
The line that’d separated them from the dead had become alarmingly thin.
And it’d only been a matter of time before that line disappeared altogether.
Daryl roused from his sleep, somehow feeling even more exhausted than when he first closed his eyes.
He scrubbed at his face, wiping away the thin sheen of sweat that’d formed before huffing a breath. The sign of first morning light seeped through the canopy of trees above him, visible through the motionless overgrowth of leaves and greenery. The heat was already suffocating — his clothes stuck uncomfortably to his skin, his throat desperate for water he couldn’t afford to drink.
But focusing on that, focusing on the discomfort, was much easier than acknowledging the looming darkness that lingered.
The archer pushed up onto his elbows, the forest floor digging into his skin. He scanned the makeshift camp his group had set up, positioned just off the main road. Almost everyone was still asleep, curled up on the harsh wooded ground within the permitter they’d barricaded.
Except for Y/N who was nowhere to be seen.
Daryl felt his stomach lurch as he pulled himself off the ground and staggered to his feet, ignoring the wave of dizziness he felt — it’d been days since he’d eaten, since any of them had eaten. He grabbed his crossbow and slung it over his shoulder, tiptoeing around the others as to not wake them — they deserved a few more minutes in a reality that wasn’t as fucked as this one.
The only other person awake was Glenn, who’d volunteered to be on watch. He sat with his back against a large tree trunk, Maggie at his side, her head resting against his shoulder.
Daryl headed towards them, drawing Glenn’s attention. But before he could say anything, Glenn nodded his head towards something on the main road, careful not to jostle Maggie awake.
The archer followed his gaze, spotting Y/N through the trees. He nodded once in silent ‘thanks’, feeling the pit in his stomach loosen as he marched out of the woods and crossed over the asphalt.
Y/N was sitting on the hood of a long-since abandoned car, her feet perched atop the dented front bumper. Her eyes flashed towards him as he approached, prominent dark circles beneath a weary gaze, so unlike the warmth he was used to seeing.
Daryl felt his throat constrict — he could handle his own demons, the heaviness that’d latched onto his bones after the last few weeks.
But hers?
She needed to be okay — he needed her to be okay.
He slid onto the hood, the car dipping below his weight as he settled beside her. A comfortable silence stretched on as they stared down the long and desolate road ahead, each lost in their own thoughts.
“I miss ‘our spot’,” Y/N suddenly murmured, her tone wistful.
Daryl grunted softly in response, the nights they’d spent up in the watchtower flashing through his mind.
He missed it too — he hadn’t known peace like that before.
“God, we had it so good back then,” she exhaled a breath, lowering her head.
The archer peeked over at her, hearing the hint of emotion growing in her words, the sadness she tried to conceal. But she couldn’t hide it — not from him.
He could tell how she was feeling by the steadiness of her breath.
“We still had Hershel…” she whispered, clasping her hands together, her knuckles turning white. “Bob…Tyreese…” her voice cracked slightly before she glanced up. “Beth.”
It was Daryl’s turn to look away.
He couldn’t think about her — not without smelling moonshine and ash, not without feeling the weight of her lifeless body in his arms.
He never got to thank her.
When the prison fell, Daryl had been certain he’d never see Y/N again — that somehow, someway, she’d burned along with it. But Beth…she’d known — she’d known he’d find her again one day.
And he never got to thank her.
“I know you’re in pain,” Y/N’s voice broke through his guilt-ridden thoughts, drawing him back to her. “And I know how easy it is to just shove it down and push it away and pretend like it doesn’t exist,” she looked over at him then, her gaze steady and knowing — and despite the scrutiny, he couldn’t find it in himself to look away. “And I’m not asking you to talk about it. But please, just — just don’t pretend like it’s not there.”
Daryl gnawed on the inside of his cheek, his teeth breaking skin and filling his senses with the metallic taste of blood.
When Y/N reached towards him, he stiffened.
She slowly brushed away the hair that fell in front of his eyes, smoothing the strands back out of his face. “You’re not carved out of stone, Daryl,” she murmured gently before resting her palm against his flushed cheek.
The air suddenly thickened, the archer becoming painfully aware of how little space remained between them. There was a pull — almost magnetic — that urged him to lean closer, to draw nearer, to take her in his arms and shut out the rest of the world.
But before he could give into instinct, he pulled away and hopped off the hood of the car, landing on his feet with a huff.
Daryl looked anywhere but at her, ignoring the slight tremble in his fingertips. “M’ gonna —” he quickly cleared the thickness in his throat. “M’ gonna take a look ‘round — see what I can see.”
Y/N was quiet, though the archer didn’t dare look at her. “Okay,” she finally sounded — and even though Daryl couldn’t see her expression, he could hear the tangible defeat in her tone.
He clenched his jaw, kicking himself for being the source of her disappointment as he beelined towards the woods on the other side of the road, opposite the campsite.
But he’d only taken a couple of steps when he faltered, realizing then that he couldn’t just walk away — he’d never been able to just walk away.
Not from her.
“I hear ya,” he rasped, glancing back at her, the words tumbling from his mouth before he could stop them. “Ya know, what ya were sayin’ before an’ — an’ all that. I jus’ — I hear ya,” he mustered, the jumbled explanation all he could offer.
A tired smile tugged at Y/N’s lips. “I know,” she assured him softly.
Daryl held her gaze before nodding once, turning without another word, and disappearing into the trees.
A newfound determination coursed through the archer as he ventured further into the woods — there had to be something else out there, somewhere his people could call ‘home’. They couldn’t keep going on like this, fighting day-to-day just to survive — it couldn’t be them and the dead anymore.
There had to be something else, something more.
The world couldn’t be all bad.
Not the same world that’d given him her.
Daryl pulled his gaze away from the darkened sky.
His eyes trailed over the towering gates that surrounded Alexandria — sturdy iron sheets and impenetrable steel, the only thing keeping away the dead that roamed just outside them. He brushed his fingers over the ground, tugging at the overgrown blades of grass beneath where he sat as he fell back in thought.
Despite his initial doubt that Alexandria was all it promised to be, in time, the community had proven him wrong. Sure, there were fractures in its foundation, but it was better than nothing.
It was better than before.
And for the first time since the end of everything, there was hope for a future.
Smoke spilled past the archer’s lips, wafting in front of him before disappearing into the night air.
The streets of Alexandria were still — a welcomed change in comparison to life outside the walls. Daryl shifted on the porch steps, taking another drag from his cigarette as he rested his back against the railing. He tilted his head backward, blowing out a lungful of smoke, feeling his nerves calm in the process.
“Hey, stranger,” a voice suddenly called, breaking the quiet that’d stretched on.
Daryl knew that voice — knew it better than the back of his own damn hand.
He quickly shook away the hair that’d fallen in front of his eyes, watching as Y/N approached.
She looked different — her hair was washed, her clothes no longer blood-stained and tattered. The lines of worry that’d marred her features were smoothed away, replaced by a warm smile that only grew the closer she neared. It was strange — almost like getting a glimpse of her before the dead started walking.
Her footsteps slowed as she stopped in front of him, her head cocking slightly to the side. “What’s that look for?”
Daryl ducked his head down, his face feeling fuzzy — like a kid getting caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “Nothin’,” he shook his head, inhaling another drag from his cigarette before stubbing the flame out against the porch steps.
Y/N plopped down beside him, propping her back up against the railing opposite his. “So,” she started, turning her attention towards him. “Deanna was asking where you were tonight.”
The archer scoffed as he flicked the cigarette butt away. “Aaron’s,” he rasped, pulling one knee to his chest, resting his elbow on top of it.
Y/N appeared surprised at his response but didn’t push further. Instead, she exhaled heavily. “This place is like the fucking Twilight Zone.”
He huffed a breath, nodding in agreement. “Ya headin’ back over there?” he rumbled after a moment, jerking his head in the direction of the welcome party.
“Oh, no,” she quickly shook her head. “I’m sick of people,” she admitted before glancing over at him. “You don’t count.”
Daryl snorted a laugh, rolling his eyes despite the strange sort of pride her words brought him.
A beat of silence passed before Y/N spoke again. “Aaron seems like a good guy.”
The archer grunted softly in response, their conversation from earlier coming to mind. “He wants me ta’ start scoutin’ with him — findin’ other survivors, bringin’ ‘em back.”
Y/N’s eyebrows shot up. “Really?”
“Mhm,” Daryl sounded, nestling the side of his thumb between his teeth.
“Is that something you’d wanna do?” she asked, leaning forward a fraction.
He paused, taking a minute to consider her words. If he was being honest, he felt more comfortable outside Alexandria’s walls than inside — and having a good enough reason to be back on the road didn’t seem like such a bad thing. But if he was being really honest…
Daryl’s gaze met Y/N’s once more — he hadn’t been away from her since the prison fell.
That wasn’t exactly a time in his life he’d like to revisit.
“I do alright out there, I guess,” he shrugged a shoulder up, dropping his hand back into his lap.
A look of amusement flashed over her features in response. “That’s quite the understatement.”
The corner of his mouth quirked, but he couldn’t seem to ease the sudden worry gnawing at him. “Ya gonna be alright in here?” he rasped, steadying her with a serious look.
“Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that?” she countered smoothly — but Daryl could hear the hint of something in her tone, something he couldn’t quite place. When he remained silent, Y/N’s expression turned reflective. “I think it’ll be a good thing — you could help a lot of people out there who need it.”
The archer picked up on her deflection. “That ain’t what m’ askin’,” he retorted, calling her bluff.
Y/N looked as though she wanted to argue — but then her lips pressed together, forming a thin line. “I don’t know,” she finally said, avoiding his gaze. “I just — I don’t like being away from you, that’s all,” she admitted quietly, wringing her clasped hands together.
He stilled, never having been more grateful for nightfall — otherwise, she surely would’ve seen the sudden redness creeping over his cheeks.
“But, like I said,” she continued, exhaling a slightly awkward laugh. “It’ll be a good thing.”
He nodded once. “Mhm,” he sounded, not trusting his voice.
Her eyes softened before she began pulling herself up off the porch steps. “Well, I’m gonna get some sleep — see you in the morning?”
The archer cleared his throat. “I’ll see ya,” he rumbled.
A small smile tugged at Y/N’s lips as she headed up the steps, gently squeezing his shoulder as she passed.
He didn’t move a muscle, listening intently for the sound of the front door shutting before closing his eyes, ignoring the tingling sensation beneath where she’d touched him.
Daryl huffed a defeated breath. “Shit.”
Had he given into instinct that night, he would’ve told her the truth.
He would’ve told her that he felt the same way, that being away from her felt like losing half of himself, that nothing in his life had ever made sense until he met her. The words had toyed at the tip of his tongue, desperate to be heard after being swallowed time and time again — but he just hadn’t been able to do it.
He could almost hear Merle’s snide voice in the back of his head — taunting him, calling him ‘whipped’ and a ‘pussy’ and a ‘good-for-nothin’ redneck’, mocking him for even considering that someone like her could feel anything for someone like him.
So instead, he’d reverted back to what he knew best — shutting down and pushing away.
It wasn’t intentional, merely second nature after years and years of repetition.
But the wall he’d worked so hard to build stood no chance.
Not against her.
Daryl knew something was wrong the moment he crossed back through Alexandria’s gates.
And then the screaming started.
He took off into a sprint, his heart mimicking the echo of his footsteps pounding against the asphalt. He could hear Aaron and Morgan just behind, right on his heels, their heavy breathing mirroring his own as the sounds of anguish grew louder.
The archer felt his stomach drop the closer he neared, his mind repeating one, single phrase over and over again —
Just let her be okay.
When he and Aaron had gotten trapped in that car earlier, surrounded by walkers, he’d thought that was it for him. He was going to lead the dead away and give Aaron enough time to make it out, to make it back to Alexandria where he could continue doing what he did best — bringing salvation to those who needed it.
He’d made peace with his decision.
And as he’d grabbed the door handle, moments away from pushing into the raging swarm, he’d only been thinking one thing —
Just let her be okay.
For some reason, he’d been given a second chance and all he wanted was to see her again. It was nearly overwhelming, setting his nerves ablaze, sending his heart racing — it consumed him entirely, the thought of her.
He’d realized then what he should’ve known all along.
He’d never felt for anyone the way he felt for her.
Daryl finally found the others, all gathered in the center of town — but he barely had time to register what was happening when a single gunshot rang out.
Aaron and Morgan stood frozen beside him as they took in the scene — Rick had a gun in hand, the barrel pointed towards the ground, directly above Pete’s now-shattered skull. The crowd looked on in horror, huddled together near a dimly lit fire, eyes wide, mouths agape. Then he saw Reg — his throat sliced open, his body splayed out across Deanna’s lap, Michonne’s bloody katana lying beside him.
“Rick?” Morgan suddenly spoke, breaking the deafening silence that’d followed.
The sound drew Rick’s attention, his vacant eyes finding Morgan’s — but Daryl’s gaze drifted, meeting hers instead.
His stomach dropped when he saw her — she had one hand pressed against her cheek, blood trickling out from between her fingers, her face frozen in disbelief.
Daryl moved towards her, the rest of the world fading away.
Just let her be okay.
Y/N’s expression shifted as he neared, the apprehension that’d marred her features melting, turning into relief despite her ashen complexion and the chaos surrounding them. She absently shook her head back and forth, opening her mouth as if to say something, but no sound came out.
The archer came to a stop in front of her, his own voice lost somewhere deep inside his chest. So instead, he reached for her, very carefully, as though she’d been spun from glass. He wrapped his fingers around her wrist and gently pulled her hand away from her face, revealing a gash that stretched across the entirety of her cheek.
The swell of rage that coursed through him felt red-hot, flushing his skin as he stared at the wound, his eyes glinting dangerously by the light of the fire.
“She caught the nasty end of Petey-boy’s backswing,” came Abraham’s gruff voice.
Daryl hadn’t even realized the man approached — he was too busy thinking up new ways to bring Pete back to life, all so he could shoot the dead prick dead all over again.
Abraham crouched down a few inches beside him, taking a closer look at Y/N’s injury before whistling softly. “Ya must be ridin’ the gravy train with biscuit wheels, lil’ lady. That sack a’ shit damn near took your eye out,” he drawled before glancing over at Daryl. “Don’t think she needs stitches — unless someone wants ta’ reincarnate Dr. Dickwad for a second opinion.”
Y/N attempted to huff a laugh, but the motion had her wincing, her features twisting in pain.
And Daryl had seen enough.
He grunted a gruff ‘I got it’, giving Abraham a nod of appreciation before taking Y/N by the elbow and maneuvering her away from the others, back onto the street.
She allowed him to guide her elsewhere, neither saying a single word.
The two houses Deanna had provided to the group had been split amongst the lot of them. Daryl chose to reside in the finished basement — it was small and dingy, but he didn’t mind. The room had a couch and a bathroom and was much nicer than any other place he’d ever stayed at — even before the end of times.
And right now, it was serving as a makeshift infirmary.
Y/N sat perched on the edge of the couch, her knee bouncing anxiously as she watched Daryl barrel around the space like a rampant tornado. He grabbed whatever he could think of — the first aid kit stored beneath the bathroom sink, a bottle of water, a clean t-shirt to swap out for her blood-spattered one — before making his way back to her. He set the items down on the coffee table in front of the couch and took a seat on the edge of it, opposite her.
Still, neither spoke.
Daryl kept his eyes focused on the slash mark — that was much easier than acknowledging the absence of space between them. He unscrewed the cap to the water bottle, emptying a small amount onto a dry piece of gauze before leaning forward. Ever so slowly, he dabbed at the blood that’d dripped down her face and onto her neck, ignoring the near-palpable tension.
Y/N sat still as a statue, tilting her head back slightly as he wiped away the redness. But when he moved further up, nearing the wound, she flinched, hissing reflexively. Daryl snatched his hand back as if slapped, his eyes meeting hers, quietly apologetic.
She nodded for him to continue, taking a deep breath and balling her hands into fists atop her thighs.
The archer worked his jaw, lightening his touch.
He wasn’t sure how long they sat like that — all he knew was that when he was with her, nothing else really seemed to matter.
Luckily, the wound wasn’t as severe as it’d initially appeared — it was fairly shallow, faint towards the edges, and in time would heal completely. He wanted to tell her so, but the words wouldn’t formulate — the silence that’d stretched on felt untouchable.
So instead, Daryl focused on her hands, wiping away the blood that’d stained the grooves of her skin — and although she tried to conceal it, he could feel the slight tremble in her fingertips.
After he was done cleaning her hands, he sat back, his knee brushing against hers. He glanced up, flicking his hair away and studying the cut on her face — it’d stopped bleeding, though the edges were an angry-red, spiking his own temper once more. The collar of her shirt was soaked crimson, the color more muted in areas that’d already dried.
He hadn’t noticed the way their hands remained intertwined until Y/N squeezed softly, snapping him back to reality.
Daryl pulled his hand from hers and stood, grabbing the extra t-shirt off the table and dropping it into her lap. He scooped up the first aid kit before spinning around and stalking back towards the bathroom, giving her privacy as she began to change.
The archer avoided his reflection entirely, certain he’d see nothing but flushed skin and remorseful eyes. He squatted down, yanking open the drawer beneath the sink and tossing the kit inside. He gnashed his teeth together and grabbed onto the counter, his grip white-knuckled around the edge.
He needed to get a fucking hold of himself, that was for damn sure.
After regaining his composure, Daryl slammed the drawer shut with more force than necessary and pulled himself up in one swift motion.
But his entire body froze, his blood running ice-cold, when he noticed Y/N in the reflection of the bathroom mirror, standing in the doorway behind him.
Their eyes met through the glass before the archer twisted around, facing her head-on.
Her brow was furrowed as she stared at him, her head tilting to the side, the wheels in her mind visibly turning though her expression remained unreadable. She looked like she wanted to say something but didn’t quite know how to say it. She inhaled a breath, opening her mouth, but quickly snapped it shut — and then something different flickered across her features, an expression he hadn’t seen before.
Daryl waited for her to speak, to finally break the prolonged quietness that’d carried on.
But then she was suddenly crossing towards him.
He didn’t realize what was happening until Y/N’s lips crashed against his.
It was as though a dam had broken open — every fleeting feeling, every moment of suppressed longing coming to a head after dancing around one another for so long. At first, Daryl’s entire body went numb, his brain scrambling to figure out just what in the hell was actually happening. His breath caught in his throat as he stiffened instinctually, years of touch deprivation and self-consciousness clawing their way to the surface, leaving him paralyzed against her.
But when Y/N pulled back, breaking away from the kiss, he found himself craving her in the spaces she’d filled.
Her eyes were wide, boring into his, her gaze a mixture of shock and awe that he was certain mirrored his own — like even she couldn’t believe what she’d just done. She clung onto the collar of his shirt, the material balled in her fists.
Daryl’s chest heaved beneath her touch, his breathing syncing up with hers as they stared at one another, their noses only a few inches apart, each soaking the other in for what felt like the first time.
Something inside the archer fractured, right then and there. The wall he’d created inside his mind, the one designed to keep everyone at arm’s length, began to crumble. His guard fell to pieces, brick by brick, shattering at the very foundation he’d built it on.
And in its place…her.
Without any hesitation, Daryl slipped a hand behind Y/N’s neck and surged forward, closing the gap between them and bringing his lips to hers once more.
A soft gasp escaped her at first — one of surprise — the feel of it against his mouth sending a tingle down his spine before she returned the kiss with equal fervor. Her hands slid down his chest, snaking around his middle as she pressed herself against him with similar desperation.
He slid his hand up the back of her head, holding her in place as their lips parted, exploring each other with a deeper intensity. His fingers tangled throughout her hair, desperate to feel her in all of the ways he’d denied himself of, his other hand rising to gently cup the side of her face.
But when Y/N inhaled sharply, suddenly jerking back a fraction, Daryl’s eyes snapped open.
“Ow, fuck,” she hissed, her expression pinched.
“Shit,” the archer rasped, realizing then that his hand had brushed up against the cut on her cheek. “Ya alright?” he rumbled, pulling back further to get a better look.
Y/N let out a breathy laugh, her face lighting up in a way he’d never seen before. “Yeah,” she whispered hoarsely, her cheeks tinged pink, her lips red and slightly swollen.
Once again, Daryl found himself fighting to catch his breath.
He swallowed the thickness in his throat, carefully reaching forward and picking at a strand of hair that’d been swept out of place, tucking it behind her ear instead.
Y/N leaned into his palm, laying her hands against his chest, staring at him like she thought he’d hung the moon and painted the stars.
The look shifted into something deeper as she stepped back, ghosting her fingertips down each of his arms, his skin catching fire beneath her touch. She intertwined her hands around his calloused ones and began inching backward, slowly leading him out of the bathroom without another word.
The archer felt something stir deep inside him, a warmth settling in the pit of his stomach as she guided him towards the couch. He was entranced — like a man who’d been lost at sea for far too long, finally catching a glimpse of salvation from a lighthouse, beckoning him home.
And for the first time in a long time, he wasn’t afraid.
Daryl flushed at the memory.
She still had that same damn effect on him. It didn’t matter how much time passed, how many years went by, he’d never tire of her. She was, without a doubt, the best thing that ever happened to him.
He’d always felt out of place — even before the end. It was like everybody who’d ever lived was somehow born knowing the same song and dance — and yet there he’d been, stumbling along, fighting to catch up and fall in step with the rest of the world. It’d isolated him, made him feel weak and undeserving — like no matter how hard he tried, he’d never truly belong.
And now?
The only comfortable place his mind seemed to know was her.
Daryl fought back a wince, his entire body tensing up.
“Almost done,” Denise murmured as she continued stitching up the laceration on his back.
“Ya said that an hour ago,” the archer grumbled in response, grinding his teeth together.
“It definitely wasn’t an hour and you’re the one who refused the numbing cream, remember?” she countered evenly, her tone unwavering.
The archer merely huffed in response, fighting back a scowl as he gripped tightly onto the edge of the metal table he sat on top of. He ignored the feeling of Denise’s needle digging into his skin, closing up the knife wound he’d received back on the road, surveying the quieted house-turned-infirmary instead.
Rick was in the next room over, not having moved from Carl’s bedside since the survivors had taken Alexandria back from the dead. Glenn and Maggie were huddled together on the cot across the room while Michonne rocked Judith back and forth, exiting the infirmary with her a moment later. The others were gathered outside, recuperating after the long and harrowing fight that’d taken place mere hours ago.
And then there was Y/N — she sat on the floor beside his dangling legs, her head resting against the side of his knee, his vest laid out across her curled form. He could tell by her steady breathing and the way her head lolled every so often that she’d fallen asleep against him.
The entire community was running on little to no sleep, having fought through the night, taking on the herd that’d invaded their home — now, hundreds of bodies littered the streets, the wall that’d collapsed needed to be rebuilt, and those they’d lost during the attack needed to be buried.
Daryl glanced down when he heard a soft sigh, feeling his chest constrict as Y/N nestled closer.
She hadn’t strayed far since he’d returned and honestly, he wasn’t quite ready to be away from her either — especially after what happened on the road. Over the two days he was gone, he’d nearly lost his life on more than one occasion — and from what he'd heard, she’d nearly lost hers when the Wolves attacked.
But they were okay — she was okay — and that was what mattered.
Michonne reentered the infirmary a moment later, the exhaustion on her face mirroring his own. Judith, on the other hand, had fallen asleep in her arms, curled up against her chest, dark blonde wisps of hair sticking to her forehead.
“How’re you holding up?” Michonne asked softly as she approached the table, not wanting to wake Judith — or Y/N, for that matter.
“Jus’ a scratch, is all,” Daryl rumbled in response, peeking over his shoulder at Denise who remained focused on the wound.
Michonne nodded, rubbing small circles against Judith’s back. “I sent everyone home — Rosita and Heath are keeping watch where the wall came down. We’ll clear the dead once everyone gets some rest.”
“Alright,” Daryl rasped, a bone-deep tiredness beginning to seep in.
Before leaving, Michonne paused, looking down at Y/N’s sleeping form. When she glanced back up, her expression had shifted into something softer, something less tense. “She’s good for you,” she suddenly murmured, a small smile tugging at her lips. “You deserve that,” she whispered, reaching out and squeezing his hand, still latched around the edge of the table.
Daryl’s hand flexed beneath hers as he glanced down at the top of Y/N’s head — did he really deserve someone like her?
He’d spend the rest of his life wondering that.
Michonne patted the top of his hand before pulling away, disappearing into Carl’s room without another word, Judith still fast asleep against her.
“Alrighty,” Denise exhaled, drawing him back to the present. “You, my friend, are free to go.”
The archer grunted a gruff ‘thanks’ as she began cleaning up the supplies she’d used to stitch him up. He bit back a grimace as he pulled his shirt over his head, feeling the stitches stretch as he moved.
He reached forward then, gently ruffling the top of Y/N’s head, stirring her awake. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes before craning her neck and looking up, her bleary gaze meeting his. “All done?” she murmured, her voice slightly croaky.
“Mhm,” he sounded, sliding off the table and offering his hand to her.
The corner of her mouth quirked up as she grabbed it, allowing him to pull her to her feet. She swayed, fighting back a yawn, Daryl’s hand finding the small of her back and steadying her. Wordlessly, she held out his vest, which he slowly slipped back on, grinding his teeth together as a sharp jolt of pain shot across his shoulder.
Y/N’s brow furrowed as she watched him, her eyes narrowing — but before she could comment, Denise approached once more.
“Change the gauze in a couple of hours and take two of these for the pain,” she informed, holding out a small bundle of supplies, including fresh bandages and pills. “Doctor’s orders."
But Daryl waved her off. “Save ‘em,” he grumbled, carefully adjusting his vest.
He saw Y/N throw him a glance from the corner of his eye, though she didn’t protest — instead, she stepped forward and held her hand out.
Denise passed the supplies to her before lifting her glasses and rubbing one eye with the back of her hand, her fingertips stained red with blood. “Make sure he doesn’t do anything strenuous for a few days or he’ll tear the stitches,” she continued, speaking solely to Y/N as she set her glasses back in place.
Daryl huffed a breath. “M’ standin’ right here, ya know.”
Y/N nudged him in the ribcage, giving him a look that clearly translated to ‘be nice’.
Denise directed her attention back to the archer. “Don’t tear my stitches,” she reiterated emphatically before her expression eased. “Rest, relax, sleep — both of you.” She shot Y/N a pointed look before shooing them towards the front door, heading over to check in with Glenn and Maggie.
Y/N glanced over at Daryl once they were alone, her eyebrow quirking playfully. “I like this new side of Denise.”
The arched scoffed in response, flicking the hair from his face. “I liked it better when she was scared a’ me,” he grumbled as they fell in step, making their way out of the infirmary and back outside.
A laugh slipped past Y/N’s lips as they crossed over the porch. “Sounds about right,” she grinned, thoroughly amused.
“S’ true,” he shrugged his uninjured shoulder up as they made their way down the stairs and back onto the street.
“You know, you really aren’t that sc—”
Y/N stopped mid-sentence, her footsteps halting abruptly. Daryl faltered as well, glancing back at her, his brow knitting together. Before he could ask what was wrong, he realized what she was looking at.
In the light of day, the aftermath of the attack was startling. There were more bodies than he could count, rotted and decaying, bones torn through skin, blood spilling out onto the street, stark against the asphalt. The carnage was overwhelming, the reality of what they’d accomplished, as well as what they’d almost lost, suddenly settling in.
“We’ll fix this place up — make sure nothin’ like this ever happens again,” Daryl rasped, not entirely certain if he was trying to reassure her or himself.
Y/N’s expression turned solemn. “It’s not the dead I worry about,” she fixed him with a stare, her gaze flickering towards the wound on his back before she continued surveying the damage done to their community.
There wasn’t anything he could say that would make her feel better — not in a world as dark and void and meaningless as the one they lived in.
The only thing he could do was just be there.
Daryl reached for her, slipping his hand around hers and squeezing softly, drawing her back to him.
Although Y/N kept her eyes forward, he felt the tension leave her.
And then she squeezed back.
The archer huffed a breath, nestling the side of his thumb between his teeth.
Well, maybe the world wasn’t entirely meaningless.
Daryl stood still beneath the shower head, warm water washing over his body.
But he couldn’t focus on that — all he could focus on was Y/N, standing behind him, her arms wrapped around his middle, her bare chest pressed against his back. He closed his eyes, committing the feeling to memory — her heart steadily pounding against him, her cheek resting against his shoulder as water continued to cascade down their bodies.
She pulled back slightly, gently pressing her lips against one of the scars on his back.
Daryl felt a chill run down his spine despite the steam around him, fighting back the instinctual urge to stiffen — and as she moved to the next scar and the next, softly kissing each one, he couldn’t help but melt beneath her touch.
He turned then, feeling the tips of his ear redden at the sight of her before he quickly averted his gaze.
Y/N laughed, soft and sweet, reaching towards him and brushing the hair from his face.
Daryl caught her hand with his own, pressing her palm flat against the curve of his jaw. The cut on her cheek had healed, leaving only a faint, thin line below her eye. His own knife wound was still fresh, but in time, would heal as well.
He brought his hand up and gently brushed his thumb across the length of the mark before tilting her head back, bringing his lips to hers.
He wasn’t sure where the sudden boldness came from — still, Y/N returned the kiss, her arms snaking around his neck, his around her waist.
It wasn’t until the water began to run cold that Daryl, begrudgingly, turned the shower off.
They moved about in comfortable silence — drying off, changing into clean clothes, completing eerily normal and mundane tasks that had the archer wondering if he’d somehow transported into an alternate reality without realizing it.
But the blood and muck that’d washed off their bodies and collected at the bottom of the tub reminded him otherwise.
It’d taken three whole days to clear Alexandria of all the walkers that’d infiltrated their walls. Now, they could start rebuilding, reinforcing, doing whatever they needed to do to make sure an attack like that never happened again.
Daryl climbed into the bed he shared with Y/N, having moved up from the basement and into her room after that first night they’d spent together. He winced as he rotated his shoulder — despite Denise’s instructions to limit arduous activity, he’d worked the past three days from sun up to sun down in removing all the bodies from within the gates.
Y/N had tried to get him to take it easy, but he hadn’t — that just wasn’t in his nature.
She crawled into bed after him, sighing softly as she settled by his side, sitting with her legs crossed beneath her. She held her hand out towards him and in her palm, two pills — he recognized them as the ones Denise had given her.
Daryl huffed a breath.
“Don’t make me say ‘please’,” she warned, raising her brow expectantly.
The archer fought back the urge to roll his eyes but took the pills anyway, popping them into his mouth and washing them down with the bottle of water he’d left by the bedside. Y/N shot him a cheeky grin as she laid down, curling onto her side, facing away from him.
He reached over, wrapping an arm around her middle and dragging her towards him, eliciting a surprised laugh from her. She nestled closer, her back pressed against his chest, one hand clasped around his forearm, drawing absent circles against his skin with her thumb.
Daryl felt himself fading, slipping into unconsciousness after a long, tiring day of survival.
But just before the world darkened entirely, a whisper broke through the quiet.
“I love you.”
The archer’s eyes snapped open. Part of him wondered if Y/N was sleep-talking. An even bigger part of him figured he’d imagined it because there was no way — no way in hell — she could’ve consciously and deliberately said that to him.
But then she was shifting, rolling onto her back and looking up at him.
He searched her gaze for something, anything — a punchline, an explanation, a ‘hah, fooled ya!’ — that would explain what in the fuck he’d just heard.
Except that didn’t happen.
Instead, Y/N slowly nodded, like she was finally coming to terms with her own blatantly impromptu confession. “Yeah, I-I do — I —” she fumbled slightly in her admittance before steadying. “I love you,” she murmured, blinking up at him.
Daryl swallowed the lump in his throat, his mind screaming at him to say something instead of just staring at her like he’d seen a ghost. He could feel the words toying at the tip of his tongue — he wanted to say it, he did, because…well, of course. Of course, he wanted to. But it was like his body was physically rejecting a response.
Y/N patiently watched him struggle, giving him a second to get his shit together, a small, knowing smile playing at her lips.
The archer pushed up onto his elbow, clearing his throat, his cheeks burning red. “I, uh,” he grumbled, shaking his head slightly. “Y-Yeah, I —” he faltered, clearly struggling. But when his baffled gaze met her kind one, almost instantly, his wall of insecurity diminished. “Yeah,” the single word came out resolute and sure, everything he needed her to hear.
Y/N’s smile grew, stretching across her face, bright enough to light the sky on fire. “Yeah?” she asked softly, reading between the lines.
Daryl nodded once. “Yeah,” he rasped thickly, like it was the most obvious thing in the world — because it was.
He’d felt that way since the day he met her, even if he hadn’t known it.
She reached up, twisting her fingers in his hair and bringing his face down to meet hers, pressing a gentle kiss against his lips.
Then she was curling onto her other side so they laid chest to chest, her head tucked beneath his chin as she snuggled closer, his arms wrapping around her instinctually.
Daryl wasn’t sure how long they laid like that, limbs weaved around one another like coiled rope. But when her breathing evened out, he pulled back and snuck a glance, tracing every inch of her face as though the first time and the last. He brought his hand to her face, carefully brushing back the hair that’d swept over her features before leaning in and pressing a kiss against her forehead.
Then sleep came for him as well.
Daryl dropped his hand back into his lap, drawing his legs to his chest.
Being with Y/N was effortless — as easy as breathing. It came, somewhat alarmingly, natural to him. He’d never pictured himself with anyone ever. Before the end, before her, he’d been content to sit on the sidelines and watch all the relationships around him undoubtedly burn — it was all he’d ever known, it was all he’d ever seen.
But then she came along and flipped his entire world upside down.
A love that came without warning.
“Let’s get this shit loaded up — looks like it’s gonna rain soon,” Daryl rumbled, peering up at the darkening sky, noticing a cluster of bulbous clouds rolling in.
Y/N tilted her head back, following his gaze before humming a breath. “I don’t know — the wind’s blowing East. It might just miss us,” she remarked, catching the archer’s eye, a mischievous look flashing across her features. “Wanna make a bet?”
Daryl scoffed a breath in response, shutting the car trunk filled with scavenged supplies and adjusting the strap of the rifle slung across his chest — he was still getting used to the weapon. It felt unfamiliar in comparison to the weight of his crossbow. The reminder of his stolen weapon sent a flush of anger through his veins. He’d find those assholes someday and get it back, that was for damn sure.
“Come on,” Y/N grinned, drawing him back as she hefted another box over to him, dropping it onto the ground with a huff. “How about this? If it rains…I’ll take your watch shift tonight with Elizabeth.”
The archer quirked a brow, suddenly intrigued. Elizabeth was one of the original members of Alexandria — and she was…chatty. “Fine,” he nodded, opening the car door and lobbing the box she’d brought over onto the backseat. “She’s always yappin’ ‘bout books an’ shit I don’t know nothin’ ‘bout. Damn irritatin’ sometimes,” he grumbled.
Y/N laughed at his aggravation, turning to pick up another box. “I like her,” she shrugged, making her way towards him.
Daryl huffed a breath, waving her off. “Alright an’ if it doesn’t rain? What’d ya want?” he questioned, taking the box from her hands and sliding it into the car.
Before she had the chance to respond, Rick suddenly appeared, pushing through the front doors of the high school they’d been scavenging — it’d been turned into a FEMA evacuation center right at the beginning of the end. It’d somehow, miraculously, been left untouched — the doors and windows had been barred and chained, but luckily they’d had the tools needed to break in.
It’d been a little over a month since Alexandria had been overrun with the dead — the wall had been rebuilt and fortified, but the survivors had been hesitant to venture outside the gates after what happened the last time. Regardless, supplies were dwindling and a run had to be made.
“How’s it comin’ along out here?” Rick called as he jogged down the front steps and into the parking lot.
“Filled up the trunk pretty good — gonna need another car or two jus’ ta’ fit the rest a’ this shit,” Daryl remarked as the sheriff approached, motioning to the rest of the unpacked boxes lying around.
Rick came to a stop in front of them, one hand resting on top of the handle of his pistol strapped around his waist. “This is good — this is real good,” a rare smile spread across his face, so unlike the usual tension in his features.
“Tara’s finishing up around back — she’s grabbing the rest of the stuff from the greenhouse,” Y/N relayed to Rick, sharing a hopeful look with the archer. “We’ve got enough stuff to last us, I don’t know, at least another couple of months — that’ll be enough time to get some crops growing, maybe even a garden or two.”
Rick huffed a laugh in disbelief, shaking his head. “Who would’a thought,” he mused to himself before taking a breath. “Alright, I’m gonna grab a few last things inside an’ then we’ll lock up — come back tomorrow with a couple a’ cars an’ clean this place out.”
The sheriff left without another word, leaving Daryl and Y/N alone once again.
He began rearranging the boxes in the backseat, making sure there was enough room for two people to sit there on the way back home.
“A date,” Y/N suddenly spoke, catching him off guard.
Daryl straightened, turning back around to look at her, his brow knitting together. “Huh?”
The corner of Y/N’s mouth quirked up as she took a step towards him. “If I win, if it doesn’t rain today…I want you to take me on a date.”
The archer tilted his head to the side, trying to distinguish if she was joking or not. “Ya serious?”
“Yeah,” Y/N nodded, a sort of awkward laugh slipping past her lips. “I know it’s stupid — and given the way you’re looking at me right now, I know you’re thinking the same thing,” she laughed again as he quickly erased the skepticism from his expression. “But that’s —” she shrugged a shoulder up, “— that’s what I want.”
Daryl scratched the side of his head, flicking the hair from his face as he studied her, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned back against the car. “That really what ya want?”
“Mhm,” she sounded. “And it doesn’t have to be anything special — just us and, I don’t know…maybe Aaron can whip up some of his famous spaghetti,” a soft smile grew on her face as she looked at him. “I, uh — I just — I want to do this right, you know?” her expression turned earnest. “I want those moments with you, Daryl.”
The archer felt a swell of warmth spread throughout him as he looked at her, feeling his resolve give way. “Alright,” he managed to rasp, his throat tight with emotion.
“Alright,” Y/N reiterated with a nod, sticking her hand out, a playful look in her eye.
Daryl snorted a laugh as he reached out and grasped her hand with his own, shaking once to seal the deal.
Y/N shot him a cheeky grin as she pulled from his grip. “We should —”
“Guys?” Tara’s voice suddenly sounded, drawing their attention.
Daryl knew as he pushed off the car, as he turned around that something was very wrong — he could hear it in her tone.
It took a moment for him to fully register the scene before him — a wide-eyed Tara just a few feet away, standing straight as an arrow, holding her hands up near her head.
Then he spotted a man.
The stranger stood just behind Tara, one arm wrapped around her neck, the other holding a gun, the barrel pressed against her temple. He was young, maybe early twenties, though it was hard to tell with all of the blood coating his skin. He peered over Tara’s shoulder, his frantic gaze bouncing wildly back and forth between the archer and Y/N.
Daryl’s protective instinct kicked in as he took a step forward, drawing the man’s attention, keeping Y/N out of his line of fire. His hand automatically reached for the rifle strapped around him but his movements stilled when the man’s eyes widened, his arm tightening around Tara’s neck.
“Hey, take it easy,” Daryl held out his hands in front of him.
“Move,” the man growled, jerking his head to the side. “Away from the car.”
Daryl felt Y/N grab a fistful of material from his shirt, slowly pulling him back as the man moved towards them, keeping Tara in front of him to conceal his body.
A tense standoff of sorts stretched on as they maneuvered around, the man never taking his eyes off of Daryl. When the stranger made it to the driver’s side of the car, he unwound his arm from around Tara’s neck, using it to open the door instead — though his finger remained twitching above the trigger. Once the door was opened, he faltered, realizing he’d lose the coverage of Tara’s body if he tried to get inside.
“Take it,” Y/N suddenly spoke, stepping out from behind Daryl with her hands near her head, drawing the man’s attention.
The archer shot her a sharp glance. “Y/N —”
“Take the car, take the supplies, take whatever you need,” she continued calmly, ignoring Daryl’s growled protest. “Just let her go, okay? No one’s here to hurt you.”
The stranger’s expression shifted, the animalistic look on his face shifting into something that resembled more of a quiet desperation than anything else. “I —“ he shook his head quickly, shifting back and forth. “I just need — I just need to go — I need to go.”
Y/N took another step forward, the side of her arm brushing against Daryl’s. “Okay,” she nodded, exhaling a breath. “That’s okay — just let our friend go and —”
Her sentence was interrupted by the front door of the school swinging open.
Daryl whipped his head around, feeling his stomach drop when he spotted Rick walking out with a stack of boxes — but when the sheriff noticed the standoff happening just down the steps, the boxes came crashing down, falling out of his hands, and instead…he grabbed his pistol.
It was as though everything happened in slow motion.
The stranger’s expression twisted as his sights set in on Rick — he swung the barrel of his gun away from Tara, who instantly dropped to the ground as the man pointed the weapon up the steps, and then…
A barrage of gunfire sounded as Rick and the man began shooting at one another in rapid succession. The sheriff used the front door as a shield, attempting to fire from around the frame, the awkward angle throwing off his aim. The stranger, on the other hand, fired away in no particular direction — his aim was erratic and panicked as he tried using the car door as coverage.
When a bullet flew past the side of Daryl’s head, he dove towards Y/N. He knocked her off her feet and onto the pavement, attempting to take cover from the shootout. The archer flipped onto his back, fumbling for his rifle before finally getting a grip and pointing it at the man.
But before he could take a shot, the stranger threw himself into the car, slamming the door shut, bullets from Rick’s pistol embedding into the metal. He peeled recklessly out of the parking lot, still firing from out of the opened window as he made his getaway.
Despite one of the back tires exploding after getting hit with a stray bullet, the stranger kept driving, disappearing onto the main road and out of sight, leaving a wake of destruction in his path.
“What the fuck?” Tara called from where she’d taken cover.
“Is everybody alright?” Rick yelled back, coming out from behind the door and running down the steps.
Daryl twisted onto his side, looking over at Y/N. “Hey, ya alright?”
“Y-Yeah,” she murmured shakily, pushing up onto her hands and knees. “I’m okay.”
The archer let out a sigh of relief, climbing to his feet and surveying the damage done around them as Rick appeared at his side.
“What an asshole,” Tara swore, coming to a stand as her eyes bounced between Rick, Daryl, and Y/N. “Seriously, what kind of —”
Daryl looked over at her, waiting to hear the rest — but that was when he noticed her staring at something just behind him, the horrified expression on her face filling him with a vast and all-consuming sense of dread.
The archer spun around.
And that was when he saw her.
Y/N stood a few feet away, swaying unsteadily, her hand pressed tightly against the center of her stomach. Her head was lowered, bowed to her chest as she slowly pulled her trembling hand away, revealing a stark redness pooling from her midsection, staining the front of her shirt. She looked up then, her eyes meeting his, the shock in her gaze surely mirroring his own.
“No,” Daryl whispered, the word sounding strangled in his throat as Y/N’s knees suddenly began to give out. “No!” he roared, rushing forward and grabbing onto her before she could collapse.
His arms slipped around her middle before he carefully lowered her onto the ground, her head drooping down against his shoulder. His heart pounded so violently against his ribcage, part of him wondered if it was giving out on him entirely — maybe it was. Maybe this was what dying felt like. Maybe this was what it felt like to have your soul ripped straight out of your body.
Daryl cradled the back of Y/N’s head with one hand as he laid her down flat against the pavement, her eyes wide and unseeing, staring straight up at the sky. “Hey, hey, look a’ me, jus’ look a’ me,” he urged, brushing the hair back from her face, ignoring the blood now staining his hands — her blood.
“I’m okay, I’m okay, I’m okay,” she mumbled, repeating it over and over again as though she could will it to be true — though her skin grew more ashen with each minute that slipped by.
Rick suddenly kneeled on the opposite side of Y/N, taking a piece of cloth and holding it against the wound. “Keep pressure on it,” he instructed Daryl and although he tried to conceal it, the archer could hear the way his voice wavered. “You jus’ hold on, Y/N, understand? We’re gonna get you outta here,” he promised, reaching down and squeezing one of her hands before disappearing.
Daryl watched him leave, dragging a teary-eyed, slack-jawed Tara along with him as they began frantically searching the abandoned parking lot for any working vehicles — it was their only chance at getting her back to Alexandria.
And if they didn’t…
No.
No, he couldn’t go there.
Instead, he pressed the cloth against the gunshot wound, attempting to stall the blood flow, the pressure eliciting a pained whimper from Y/N that almost made the contents of his stomach reappear. “I got ya, Y/N, I got ya,” he rasped, grabbing her limp hand with his own and intertwining their fingers, holding his other hand firmly against her stomach.
His words seemed to bring her back to him, her hollow gaze shifting into one of panic — like she only just realized what was happening. Her features crumpled, a flash of fear skirting across her face as the shock began to wear off. “Am — am I dying?” she managed to choke out, her eyes filling with unshed tears as she looked up at him.
“No,” he shook his head resolutely, feeling moisture build in the corners of his own eyes. “No, ya ain’t goin’ nowhere, ya hear me?” his grip tightened around her hand — like his touch alone could keep her there with him. “We’re gonna get ya back ta’ Alexandria an’ — an’ get ya patched up, good as new, alright? Ya jus’ gotta hang on for me, girl.”
Y/N’s bottom lip quivered as a tear snaked down the side of her face. “I-I don’t want to leave you,” she whispered, a sob hitching in her throat.
“Hey, it’s gonna — ya gonna — jus’ — Rick!” Daryl suddenly bellowed, sitting back on his haunches and desperately scanning the area for any sign of him or Tara. He spotted them at the opposite end of the parking lot, running from car to car, searching for keys or at least a way to jumpstart one of the abandoned vehicles.
But luck was not seeming to be on their side.
Daryl let out a vicious string of curses before focusing back on Y/N. He’d never felt so helpless in his entire life — and God, if he could, he’d take her place in a second.
She was fading — fading so rapidly it made him dizzy. Her skin was cold to the touch, her lips tinged a disturbing shade of blue, her eyes lacking the warmth he was so used to seeing. He felt a swell of emotion rise in his throat, threatening to consume him, but he shoved it down.
“Hey, y-you were right,” she murmured weakly, the corner of her mouth twitching up as she tilted her head to look up at the sky once more. “I think it’s gonna rain.”
Daryl felt a tear spill down his cheek as he followed her eye line, the previously blue sky now blanketed with thick, dark clouds. He huffed a humorless laugh, their conversation from a few minutes earlier ringing through his mind, somehow seeming like an entire lifetime ago. “Guess that means ya — ya gotta take watch tonight, right?” he rasped despondently, keeping his gaze towards the sky.
He stilled when he was met with nothing but a deafening silence.
He felt his stomach roll as he squeezed his eyes shut, afraid of what he'd see if he looked down. “Y/N?” he whispered, his voice hoarse.
When she didn’t respond, Daryl knew.
She was gone.
His girl was gone.
And his entire world came crashing down around him.
Daryl forced his eyes open.
His body went numb at the sight of her, his mind refusing to accept the image before him — empty eyes, grey flesh, blood trickling from the corner of her mouth. Her hand slipped from his grasp then, dropping onto the pavement beside her unmoving form as she continued staring vacantly up at the sky.
His brain couldn’t process what was happening — where he was, what he was doing, why he was there. It felt like a nightmare — a reality that wasn’t quite reality, warped and desolate and consuming him whole. The only tangible thing he felt was a sharp, physical pain in the center of his chest, his breaths short and hitched, causing black spots to dance in his vision.
Over the blood rushing to his ears, he could just barely make out the sound of a car engine, the noise muted and dull as it approached…
But it was too late.
They were too late.
Daryl reached for her hesitantly, hands trembling as he wound his arms beneath her back and carefully scooped her up off the ground, falling back slightly as he pulled her body across his lap. When her head lolled listlessly to the side, he brought his hand up, brushing his bloodstained fingers through her hair before cradling the back of her head, pressing his cheek against hers.
“Ya said —” he squeezed his eyes shut, rocking back and forth as his grip around her lifeless body tightened. “Ya said ya were okay,” he choked out brokenly, his own shock slowly wearing off as something deep inside his soul fractured.
Then he broke.
And the sky opened up and wept alongside him.
The sound of barking drew Daryl back to reality.
He glanced over his shoulder, quickly blinking away the tears that’d formed, spotting Dog trotting towards him. The German Shepard’s tongue hung lazily out of his mouth, his easy pace picking up the closer he neared, letting out another short bark.
Daryl rumbled a laugh as Dog came to a halt at his side, plopping down next to him. “Hey, boy,” he rasped softly, scratching behind his dog’s ear and earning a sloppy lick in return He wiped away the moisture from his cheek as the canine laid down beside him with a huff. “Good, Dog.”
The archer ran his fingers through his sleek fur, feeling his throat tighten. When he’d found the German Shepard a few years back, he’d remembered the conversation with Y/N from back at the prison — and it’d only felt right to name him ‘Dog’.
It’s what she would’ve wanted — and somehow, it made him feel just a little bit closer to her.
“Man, she would’a loved ya,” he whispered thickly, sighing a long and heavy breath.
Daryl looked forward once more, studying the small gravestone in front of him — her gravestone.
For a long time, he stayed away. He hadn't been able to go near where she'd been laid to rest, he just couldn’t — it was too fucking painful, like part of himself had been buried right along with her. But over time, the grief became easier to manage — it never went away, it'd never go away — but he found a way to exist alongside it.
Now, he found a strange sort of peace here.
It’d been years since he’d lost her — she’d been gone for longer than he’d known her. It was hard to keep track of time these days, they seemed to come and go without rhyme or reason. So much had happened since that day — the war against the Saviors, the looming threat of the Whisperers, losing friends, family, Rick…
Time seemed to move differently after losing the people loved most.
After that day at the high school, Daryl had tried to find the man responsible for what happened to Y/N — he’d gone back to the high school, wild and unhinged in his grief, hellbent on retracing their steps and tracking down the stranger. He’d needed revenge, bloodshed, he’d needed the man to know what he’d done, who he’d taken from the world.
Despite the improbability, the archer had no trouble finding him.
The back tire that had been blown out during the exchange of gunfire had sent the car careening down an embankment and into a large tree less than a mile from the school. One of the branches had broken through the windshield and punctured the man’s chest, most likely killing him on impact.
He’d reanimated still strapped in the driver’s seat.
Daryl left him that way.
It wasn’t the ending he’d hoped for, but maybe it was the ending he deserved.
He reached down, absently stroking the top of Dog’s head, and inhaled a deep breath.
Not a single day went by without the thought of her.
She came and went — like a flash of light or the beat of a heart. Daryl had barely had any time to hold onto her before she was gone — and he would’ve held her so much tighter had he known it’d be the last chance he’d have.
Some people were just too bright to stay, too good for what the world had become — at least that’s what he told himself on the really dark days.
The archer closed his eyes, imagining her at his side — sometimes if he sat like that for long enough, he could almost hear her voice, her laugh, he could almost feel her warmth, her touch — and it was like she was still there, sitting right beside him.
It wasn’t the same, but it was enough — at least until he could be with her once more.
Daryl opened his eyes, peering up at the vast night sky, and released the breath he’d been holding.
Someday, he’d find his way home again.
Fin.
A/N: ...hi...how y'all doin'? lol
So yeah, this is a lot to unpack. If you've made it to the very end, THANK YOU! I know this was a super-dee-duper-long oneshot but hopefully (heartbreak and all) it was worth it.
Most of this story was purely self-indulgent - I mean, come on, who doesn't want this kind of love? But aside from that, I also wanted to write a relationship for Daryl that felt authentic and true to his character (*cough cough* definitely not throwing shade at 10.18...nope...not at all...lol)
What also made this story super fun was the fact that I was able to incorporate other characters from over the course of the series! (Even though he's only in it for .2 seconds, Abraham is probably my personal favorite lol I'd never written for him before, and damn, is it fun!)
I also like the little 'twist' at the end when we realize that in the present parts of the story, he's been hanging out at the reader's grave the entire time, reminiscing. Ow, that hurts my heart.
After writing this for months, I was the last person who wanted to see the story end like this. I honestly grew super attached to this relationship and part of me contemplated ending it on more of a 'happy' note...or as 'happy' as you can get with a show like this one. But this was the ending I'd envisioned from the beginning. We got to experience a Daryl x Reader relationship from the very start to the very end. No open-ended questions, no 'what ifs'.
And I think that's sorta beautiful.
P.S. Feedback is incredibly important. I write for my own happiness, but I also write for YOU. So don’t be afraid to shoot me an ask or leave a comment with your thoughts! It truly motivates me and helps move along the writing process. Also, please consider donating to my Tip Jar. Every little bit helps!
P.S.S. I can no longer tag people on this account, so my tag list has been transferred to my side blog @crossbowking2. If you'd like to be added/removed, please let me know!
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pastxlscorp · 3 years
Text
Bully! Mitsuya Fanfic (pt.3)
Chapter III: Abidance
✿ Word Count: 3.2k
✿ Pairing: Takashi Mitsuya x reader
✿ Topics covered: (Eventual) Enemies to lovers trope, Hakkai POV, Y/N POV, Mitsuya POV, tsundere-Mitsuya, bully! Mitsuya, fem. reader, minor manga spoilers, slight angst
Awakening from his slumber, he found that the woman was no longer taking up space in his bed. He heaved a sigh of relief, only to, unfortunately, see a message from an unknown number on his phone saying “Text me when you’re free ;)” Ignoring the text, he found he had a message from Hakkai and remembered that he had abandoned him to sleep with that damn woman. However, Hakkai didn’t confront him about it, but instead acted as if nothing happened.
🗨️ Hakkai: Is the party still on for today? (Sent 2:00am)
🗨️ Mitsuya: Yeah, sorry about yesterday. I wasn’t feeling my best, I should have let you know. (Sent 10:00am)
🗨️ Hakkai: No hard feelings. Ya feeling better now Taka-chan? (Sent 10:01am)
🗨️ Mitsuya: Not really, but it’ll pass. What’d you end up doing yesterday after I left? (Sent 10:02am)
Picking up on the subtle curiosity of Mitsuya’s text, it became clear to Hakkai that he did see him with you. As much as he admired Mitsuya, the anger building inside of him got the best of him. Therefore, in response, he chose a reply that he knew would get Mitsuya boiling.
🗨️ Hakkai: Caught Y/N outside of your class, had a wonderful lunch with her! She’s so nice, Taka-chan! Why are ya so mean to her? (Sent 10:04am)
Vigorous fingers typed in reply.
🗨️ Mitsuya: Why the fuck were you hanging around that slut? She’s just gonna try and get in your pants. What did she say to you? (Sent 10:04am)
🗨️ Mitsuya: Hakkai? Hello? (Sent 10:05am)
🗨️ Hakkai: Sorry Taka-chan, I’m back. She didn’t say nuthin bad, actually she was so sweet. She saw I was alone and we both had some tea together back at her place. Ended up sleeping over, I’m still here actually! (Sent 10:05am)
🗨️ Mitsuya: BACK AT HER PLACE? I told you, she’s just trying to get in your pants and you let her win! I can’t believe you let a whore like her win you over, Hakkai! Where the fuck is your brain? She probably was enjoying every minute of your sorry ass. (Sent 10:05am)
🗨️ Hakkai: Who said we slept together, Taka? (Sent 10:05am)
Silence enveloped the room.
🗨️ Mitsuya: Sorry… I just assumed that’s what you meant by sleeping over. (Sent 10:07am)
🗨️ Hakkai: Awh, it’s okie Taka, I know you were only looking out for me. (Sent 10:07am)
Absolutely, looking out for Hakkai. That’s what this was, that’s what he was doing. There couldn’t have been any other reason why he was so upset at the thought of you sleeping together. He was just being a good friend.
-----
┃ “Y/N!” the hoarse voice spoke to you, feeling the smooth cloth of his jacket pressed against your face as you bumped into him.
You looked up only to recognize Hakkai, kind thoughts flooding your mind, diminishing your anger stemming from your interaction with Mitsuya moments before. He grinned at you giddily, eyes relaxing any sort of tension left in your body. You slowly began to forget why you were mad and allowed yourself to indulge in his presence.
┃ “Good afternoon Hakkai! Waiting for Mitsuya?”
┃ “Mhm, you takin’ Designer 101 too, right?”
┃ “Yup! How come you aren’t taking it? You’re very fashionable, y’know?”
┃ “You’re too kind,” He giggled, his grin beginning to somehow grow wider on his cheeks as he raised his hand to pat your head.
┃ “I’m serious! Why don’t you join the class? It’s not too late, the second semester is about to start!” You eagerly pushed on, rejoicing in the positive energy he emitted.
┃ “ ‘m not really into making clothes, just showing them off...” He let out a hefty chuckle before getting cut off by you.
┃ “You don’t have to be good at making them! Some students choose to learn how to stylize different clothing and patterns, it’s all about the latest trends.”
┃ “Really?” He went silent for a few moments, smile morphing into a straight line as he contemplated your words carefully. Not to fret, as his smile quickly returned as he said: “Well then, might have to ask Taka-chan to help me sign up!”
You both shared a laugh and began to discuss the enrollment process in order for Hakkai to join the class-- if he were to drop another class, what class would he drop, or would he simply add it to his current schedule? While your conversation was nothing more than an innocent developing friendship, unbeknownst to you, Mitsuya had witnessed it all and declared it once more another betrayal. You were such a slut, flirting with anyone and everyone. Irrationality began to consume him-- instead of seeing your interaction with Hakkai for what it truly was, a genuine developing friendship, his brain refused to comprehend your behavior with other men. He never got to the level of comfortability you had with Takemichi, and he had lost the sense of ease you had with him to Hakkai and god, god did it piss him off. Unfortunately for that kohai, she was just another doll for him to play with just until he could get your attention again. Even a single drop of your attention, your attachment, it was enough to drive him for weeks just to be able to be near you again. Your kind words squeezing his heart tighter and tighter the more you spoke, your laughter ringing in his ears at a corny joke he told you during club meetings, it enveloped him into infatuation which later developed into a larger feeling. Such a large feeling over the progressing months that when he began bullying you, when your lack of presence and absences during meetings began to grow, an emptiness began to root in his heart, waiting for you to touch it once more and let it grow.
He could go on and on listing things about you-- the way he loved your sense of fashion, the way he loved your sense of humor, your compassion to helping others, your intellect that allowed you to read everyone like a book, everyone except him. Why couldn’t you see that he didn’t hate you? Oh, but that jealousy, the first time he’d admit that it was jealousy, it gripped him so tightly around his neck that it felt suffocating. Every shove, every clasp of your hand, your wrist, your chain, your chain, it made his heart shutter seeing that dead watery look in your eye, but your attention was like a drug that he just had to keep getting more of. It would never be enough to satisfy him, not until he could call you his and you would call him yours. He pitied using them, he really did, but he needed someone to satiate his needs. He was a womanizer, after all-- if one left he would just charm another into his bed. They all had high respect for Mitsuya, his intellect, his charm, his skill, and his kindness. Yet no matter how hard he tried, all those women, they were never you and they could never try and be you. He found that he no longer sought sex for his own pleasure anymore, but for your own, pretending so desperately that the one trembling out of pleasure beneath him was you. Imagining, no, fantasizing that he was making you happy and leaving you satisfied.
Upon seeing your interaction, he quickly left with his kohai for their own exchange, leaving Hakkai unfortunately confused as he waved you goodbye, patiently waiting for his friend to meet him. You were still on campus because you had taken additional extracurricular activities to build up your transcript to make up for your absences in Mitsuya’s Home-economics club. At first, you attempted to make it through the club meetings but he made every single one as unbearable as possible. The second semester, could it come any sooner? Hakkai, too focused on organizing his schedule with you previously, had failed to notice Mitsuya leaving with a woman. He waited, he waited, and he waited, coming to a good hour until he realized Mitsuya wouldn’t have left him waiting for this long without a heads up. He looked at his phone, expecting some sort of contact-- a phone call, a message, anything. All that awaited him was several unread messages from group chats and friends, none of them from Taka-chan. He sighed, placing his phone away just as he noticed your presence once more, planting a fake smile on his face to disguise his obvious disappointment. Unfortunately for him, his smile only instantly alerted you something was wrong.
┃ “Hakkai? Why are you still here, weren’t you supposed to be meeting Mitsuya?”
┃ His phony smile stood in place as tears began to fill his eyes. He croaked: “T-taka-chan left me. Do you think he’s mad at me for sumthin’, Y/N? I don’t ‘member doin’ anything.”
You instantly rushed over to comfort him, witnessing what appeared to be an intimidating giant become undone into a fragile teddy bear at the thought he had upset his best friend. Your disdain only kept growing for Mitsuya, first it was his lack of maturity during class, and now he had abandoned his best friend for whatever reason it was. Hakkai was a sweetheart, you couldn’t imagine what he may have done to upset someone. Therefore, you came to the conclusion Mitsuya had thrown a tantrum of sorts and took it out on him. It irked you, however, Mitsuya always remained respectful and loving to his best friend in addition to Yasuda-san, so you couldn’t help but raise your brow wondering what got him so upset for him to entirely ditch his friend. Pushing those thoughts aside, you placed all of your focus on bringing a smile back to Hakkai’s face, gently rubbing his back and placing your forehead against his temple as he crouched over in defeat. You desperately attempted to think of anything to cheer him up.
┃ “Ah, how about some tea?”
┃ “...Tea?”
┃ “Listen, I have absolutely no idea what you like and I want to calm you down so-”
┃ “Tea sounds good.” He said softly, a small smile returning to his face.
You escorted Hakkai comfortably back to your dorm, located on the east wing of the campus. Women and men could go to each other’s dorms, they just had gender-separated wings because it was just easier to contain the chaos if everyone was allowed to sleep with their girlfriend or boyfriend. The boys had their dormitory on the west side, thus you noticeably got some glances as you strolled with Hakkai. Mitsuya was always surrounded by Hakkai and Yasuda-san, so obviously most of your classmates were shocked to see you hanging out with his right-hand man. Were you both sleeping together? Ooh what a scandal (not). Although you didn’t mind the glanes too much, Hakkai on the other hand made sure to shoot down them all with a nasty side glare, quickly causing them to turn their cheek. It was a cute sight after all, seeing how you subconsciously had reached for his hand and began to rub gentle circles on it in order to ease him, which succeeded in doing so. Once you arrived at your dorm, you opened the door and gave him a show of jazz hands as you toured him around your dorm. Your dorm wasn’t the largest compared to his and Mitsuya’s dorm, which made him realize the privilege of not having a financially aided dorm. Your queen bed comfortably rested on the right side of the room, covered with a curtain and fairy lights on the wall behind it. Your desk was not too far away, maybe a good 15 feet across your bed, not too messy but not too neat. It was obvious you were working on something, as there were papers still out and scattered but the rest of the desk had the pens, pencils, and stapled papers sorted in a clean pile. Your pinboard was half-covered with your calendar, cluttered with small sticker reminders while the other half was your schedule, nicely decorated with washi tape sticking it to the board. Next to your bed was a wooden closet and you led him into the cramped kitchen that made him gasp, seeing how you make such a tight space so comfortable and presentable. You had a small glass coffee table in the middle, a small fridge cramped in the kitchen underneath a cupboard and next to a cabinet holding the sink on top. Next to that was a stove with a microwave on top, both color-coordinated black, contrasting the white of the room. You guided him over to the table and motioned for him to sit and he obediently did. Walking over to the countertop holding an old-school kettle, you used it to strain and brew the tea. Gleefully, you dropped a few ice cubes in his glass and carefully poured his tea and then your own, sitting across from him at the table. He took a sip of the tea you had placed in front of him, smiling not at the delightful taste but the awaiting face you had fixated, putting your hands under your chin waiting for a response.
┃ “This tea is delightful, thank you Y/N.” He said warmly and you basked in his praise.
┃ “Ah, sorry if I made you uncomfortable with the staring. I don’t… really get visitors. It’s nice to have someone over.” You replied, your face beginning to glow a light pink as your lips formed into a slight frown, embarrassed to admit how you had no friends.
┃ “Mm, I should be the one thankin’ you,” The softness in his voice made your crouched posture fix itself as you looked up to him. “You made me sum tea, opened me to your home, all ‘cuz I was sad and overthinkin’. You ain’t hafta do that, but you did anyway. I appreciate ya!” His iconic grin was now back where it belonged as his eyes glazed over you in pure adoration. You smiled in return, both returning to take a sip of your tea.
Hours passed and he was still at your house, you both gossiping and talking like old friends. You discussed your classmates, praising them and disapproving of the behavior of others. He began to confide in you about what he witnessed during his time as the second-division’s vice captain. You eagerly listened to him as he described to you his tales with his brother and his amazing sister Yuzuha, anything and everything was up for debate. At least, almost everything. Despite being the main reason he was so upset, you and Hakkai had not discussed Mitsuya’s treatment of you. He was mentioned in a few gang stories, but it seemed as if Hakkai was opting out of speaking about him out of respect for you. However, his head began to slump, implying he was tired. You grabbed your phone, which had been placed upside down on the coffee table, and looked at the time and saw it was well past midnight. You leaned over to rub Hakkai’s shoulder and you gasped when his head turned back upright, alert as if he just remembered something. Drunk on drowsiness, he began to speak:
┃ “Mmh, y’know Mitsuya used to talk about you a lot. Always went on about this pretty girl who was awfully sweet, really smart…” He trailed off, fighting off the sleep that clung desperately to his eyelids. “He never gave me a name but after club meetings when I woulds wait for him, he would tell me about his conversations. I always saw him looking at ya. What did ya do to make him so pissed off?” Although he had no malicious-intent in his questioning, it was enough to cause goosebumps all over your body.
┃ “I didn’t do anything, ‘kai. Really, nothing different happened that day. All of the sudden, the next day during his club he humiliated me in front of everyone and then made me stay after hours to yell at me even more.” You went silent for a moment, before your curiosity got the best of you and you questioned: “He used to talk about me? Are you sure?”
┃ Ignoring your question, he replied to your initial response. “You didn’t do anythin’ different at all that day?”
┃ You contemplated his question carefully, before realizing the one event that was an outlier to the rest. “I was waiting for my friend outside campus gates that day. He offered to wait with me but I insisted he didn’t, mainly because my friend had said Mitsuya wasn’t very fond of him so it was better if he didn’t see him.”
┃ “Who’s the friend?”
┃ “Hanagaki Takemichi.”
┃ The tired man in front of you took a full minute to process your sentence before bursting out and crying of laughter a few moments later. You looked at him, pure confusion coating your body as he continued to sob. Finally, after a few minutes, he wiped his eyes and sat back up, gleaming at you. “Well that’s your problem, Mitsuya fucking hates Takemichy. Probably spied on ya because he was worried, saw Takemichy, and boom-- he got jealous AHAHA!” He went back to crying of laughter, leaving you a few moments to yourself to process his words.
It was embarrassing to admit how Hakkai was half-asleep in front of you and somehow managed to put together your puzzle of confusion together months after said incident had happened, in under 20 minutes. However, you couldn’t find yourself disagreeing with his theory. Suddenly, Hakkai stopped laughing and looked up at you, all serious.
┃ “Now wait… that’s not funny! He’s been pushing ya around all the time just cuz he’s jealous of you being with other guys?! That’s fucked up! ‘M gonna beat his ass, Y/N! Just for you!”
You now began laughing, taking Hakkai’s hand in yours over the glass countertop and tapping it gently.
┃ “That won’t be necessary, ‘kai. How about we come up with a solution?”
┃ “My solution is beating his a-”
┃ “A non-physical solution.”
┃ He went silent for a few moments, looking away from you to the window to think. You could tell he thought of something when a smirk began to plaster itself on his face. “How about we test our theory?”
┃ “Elaborate.”
┃ “If that pain in my ass is done with whatever it is he’s doing, there was supposta be a party tomorrow. Not at our dorm, but our friend’s. You might have heard of him, Manjiro Sano?”
You responded with silence.
┃ “Mikey. The Invincible Mikey.”
┃ “Not ringing any bells.”
┃ “Brother of Emma Sano. Brother of Izana.”
┃ “Emma Sano is so nice!”
┃ “Captain of the Tokyo Manji Gang, Y/N.”
┃ “Oh.”
┃ “Point is, he’s having a party tomorrow. We could get some revenge, I bring you as my date~”
┃ “Won’t that make him angri-
┃ “That’s what revenge is.”
┃ “Why don’t I just talk with him?”
┃ “Has he tried talking to you?”
┃ “...no.”
┃ “I rest my case.”
Silence enveloped the room once more. It wasn’t an awkward silence, no, it was quite a comfortable silence actually as he patiently awaited your response and allowed you to process and think.
┃ “When is the party exactly?”
✿ tags: @haiq-trash @blackmysticalsimp @the2ndl @bren-heron @delicatejudgecopcowboy @skiwalkers
✿ a.n. // First of all, thank you so much for 102 followers <3 I appreciate the support being given to me! I would like to address one thing, however, please don't rush me to write! I've gotten very kind messages of support but others have been demanding more of me and it's important to remember that I have classes, chores, a social life, and many other things happening. I love writing but rushing me makes it unenjoyable and it won't be my best work. My goal for this ongoing fanfic is to post weekly. Just a little ted-talk there, I hope everyone enjoys this chapter though! I had such a fun time writing it :)
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itsapeterthing · 3 years
Text
Know You Better || Bucky Barnes
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pairing: 40’s!bucky barnes x rogers!reader
summary: your brother’s best friend, bucky, rescues you at the dance club and walks you home, but you both have feelings that are a bit more than friendly
a/n: i have been on such a 40s!bucky x rogers!reader kick i’m so sorry but i hope you enjoy! reblogs and replies are super appreciated!!
word count: 2.0k
warnings: attempted assault, fluff
masterlist || request || taglist
1940
Listening absentmindedly to the brunette seated beside him, Bucky took another drag from his cigarette, his eyes trained on you dancing across the room.
He wasn’t sure if you had seen him when you walked in, but he sure as hell did. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of you as soon as he caught you walking into the establishment with some of your friends, not even taking six steps into the building without some guy asking you to dance. Although he was there with his own date- a girl he had asked out at the diner yesterday- he regretted it as soon as he saw you in that other man’s arms and felt his heart drop to his stomach.
He hated it- thinking that way about you- he knew he shouldn’t. He knew it was wrong. You were Steve’s sister. There were thousands of eligible ladies in New York and he just had to have feelings for his best friend’s little sister.
He should have seen it coming- he had always had a soft spot for you- getting into fights any time someone looked at you the wrong way, making up lies about his sister begging him to ask you to braid her hair just so he could see you without Steve there, and even the simplest things like knowing he laughed harder when you were there laughing along with him. 
As much as he hated it, he wasn’t the only one who had seen it either- his mom teasing him that one day he was gonna settle down and marry that Rogers girl, him having to slap his hand over his sister’s mouth because he just knew the little punk was gonna let it slip one day- he was undeniably soft for you with only you and Steve being none the wiser.
Watching as the guy rested his hand on your lower back, pulling you closer to him, Bucky began to feel his blood boil. Who did this guy think he was anyway? He didn’t deserve to hold you close like that. He didn’t know you. He didn’t know you the way that Bucky did.
As the band continued to drone on in the background, Bucky began to grow tired watching the sight of you two together and was ready to head home until he saw you shake your head adamantly and part from the man, making your way to the far corner of the dance club where the bathrooms were situated, the man you had just been dancing with following behind you.
As soon as you left his line of sight, Bucky put out the cigarette he had been smoking in the ash tray. Cutting off the brunette whose name he couldn’t even remember, he pulled out his wallet, leaving cash on the table before standing up.
“It’s been nice, doll.” He said. “But I’m gonna have to go.”
Without another word, he shoved his wallet into his back pocket, striding over to the back corner of the building.
-
Swinging open the door of the bathroom, you saw the man you had just been dancing with waiting right outside the door in the tiny hallway just off the main room.
“Oh!” You exclaimed, bumping into the man you had never caught the name of.
“One more dance?” He asked.
Shaking your head, you chuckled nervously trying to push past him. “No, sorry. I can’t.” You faux apologized. “My brother’s waiting for me at home and I don’t wanna worry him.”
Just as you attempted to move past him, he pushed you against the wall of the dimly lit hallway and grabbed your hands when you tried to shove him away. Struggling in his grasp you jolted backwards as his head made its way into the crook of your neck.
“C’mon sweetheart.” He whispered. “The night’s still young-”
“She said no.” A familiar voice spoke up from behind him.
Feeling a sense of relief wash over you, you took advantage of the man’s distraction and shoved him away from you, Bucky grabbing him by the collar of his shirt as he stumbled into him. Shoving him against the wall you watched as Bucky’s face came inches away from the man’s.
“Listen man.” The guy said throwing his hands up in the air. “I don’t want any trouble.”
“Yeah?” Bucky asked. “Didn’t look like that to me.”
“C’mon pal,” The guy chuckled nervously. “Just let me go and we can forget this ever happened.”
“Y/n?” You heard your brother’s best friend ask.
“Yeah?” You answered, standing up straighter.
“What do you think I should do with this guy?”
Wrapping your arms around yourself and checking the time on your wrist watch, you shrugged.
“I don’t know, Buck.” You sighed. “It’s getting late. Steve’s gonna wonder where the hell I am. I told him I was just goin’ to dinner.”
Heeding your words, Bucky pulled the man’s face closer to his.
“You got lucky this time.”
Once Bucky saw fear in the man’s eyes, he felt satisfied, throwing the man to the floor and watching as he scrambled to his feet and ran out of the hallway. Turning back to you, Bucky pulled the pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, slipping one out.
“I could have handled that myself, ya know.” You said, still leaning against the wall.
Shaking his head, he scoffed slipping the cig into his mouth.
“Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.” He said looking up at you, pulling a lighter from his other pocket. “You and your brother, Y/n... ya know... sometimes it would be nice to hear a ‘thank you’.”
You understood what he meant- Bucky was looking out for you just as he always had and as much as your pride hated to admit it- you were glad he had come to your rescue when he did.
Watching him bring the lighter to the cigarette that hung from his mouth, you shook your head.
“C’mon, Buck.” You groaned, snatching the lighter from his hand. “Those things will kill you.”
“There’s a war going on, doll.” He said plucking the lighter from your grasp. “I think a cig’s the least of my worries.”
Hearing the pet name slip from his mouth, you began to feel the heat rise to your face.
In all the time you had known James “Bucky” Barnes, you had heard him call dozens of girls that name, but never you. He had always called you by your name or teasing nicknames like “punk” or “kid”- never “doll”. That name was saved exclusively for girls you took on dates and kissed on the walk back to their apartments - not you.
But as he used the name on you for the first time, whether it was an accident or not, you felt butterflies floating in your stomach.
A part of you hated that you didn’t hate it and the other wished he would call you that again and again.
“James please.” You urged. “You know I hate the smell of those things.”
James.
As much as he loved his nickname, the sound of his first name falling from your lips was sweet as honey and so intimate he swore he would do whatever you asked when you said it.
Taking the cigarette out of his mouth, he shoved it back in the pack and into his back pocket, pulling up his sleeve to check his watch.
“You’re right.” He said, clearing his throat. “It’s getting late. Let me walk you back home.”
Following him out of the hallway and into the main room, the sound of the band still playing in the background, you spotted the man Bucky had just thrown out speaking to what you assumed was one of his friends. Adverting your eyes from him, you instinctively moved closer to Bucky, wrapping your hand around his bicep.
Feeling your touch against his clothed skin, his heart skipped a beat as he pulled open the door of the club, both of you moving outside into the cool summer night air.
“Why were you here anyway?” You asked, walking alongside Bucky on the sidewalk. “You have a date or something?”
“Yeah.”
You felt your heart sink to your stomach.
“But I wasn’t interested. I stopped listening to her story about her last date two minutes in.”
Just now realizing that you had been holding your breath, you breathed a sigh of relief.
“Sorry, Buck.” You apologized half heartedly, a part of you glad that his date with another random girl he had just met didn’t work out.
“S’alright.” Bucky assured you. “There’s plenty of better girls in the city. I’m walkin’ with one of 'em right now.”
Glancing up at your brother’s best friend beside you, you met his eyes and smiled.
“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were flirtin’ with me, Barnes.” 
Gazing down at you, your face highlighted by the dim glow of the streetlamp illuminating the sidewalk, his breath caught in his throat. He didn’t know what to say next. You had been consuming his thoughts for months- years even- that now as you tested the waters he couldn’t find the right words to speak next.
He couldn’t risk losing you, but as he admired you in the soft glow of the moon shining above the apartment buildings, he knew he couldn’t risk not having you either.
“Would that be such a bad thing?”
Now the one speechless, you stared up at him, noticing the seriousness in his face- not a hint of his usual teasing smirk in sight.
Just as you opened your mouth, you watched as the light switched on in your apartment above. 
Shoving Bucky against the wall of the building so he was out of sight, you looked up as the window opened and your brother’s head popped out.
“Y/n?” Steve asked. “That you?”
“Yeah!” You called. “I’ll be up in a second. I just gotta... fix my shoe.”
“Were you talkin’ to someone?” He asked, checking the sidewalk below you.
“What?” You asked, shaking your head. “I wasn’t talking to anyone. You’re hearing things- go back to bed before you wake up the block!”
With that you watched as your brother shrugged, moving himself back into the apartment, slamming the window shut. Emerging from the shadows, Bucky gestured towards the apartment.
“You’re lying to your brother now?” He asked. “You really don’t want to be seen with me that bad?”
Strolling towards him, you laughed.
“I love Steve, Buck, but sometimes he can be a bit too protective.” You said, grabbing the end of his tie. “I gotta go, but...”
Tugging on his tie, you pulled him towards you and when his face lined up with yours, you pressed a soft kiss to his cheek.
“Thanks for saving me, James.” You whispered in his ear.
As you dropped his tie from your hands, he stood up straighter, watching with wide eyes as you made your way back towards your apartment, throwing him one last glance over your shoulder with a smile before climbing up the steps and out of his sight.
Feeling the heat rise to his cheeks, fearing that he was blushing so hard anyone could see it even in the darkness of night, he held his hand up to the spot on his face where you had just kissed him, leaning back against the wall.
Feeling his heart thump against his chest, he knew he was done for.
A part of him had always known that his mother was right- that he was gonna settle down one day and end up with the Rogers girl. As much as he had dismissed it, promising “Ma, she’s Steve’s sister. She’s my friend”, he knew better. As he stood there leaning against the brick wall of your apartment building on that cool summer night, a part of him knew- as he would recount to you on your wedding day- that it was the end of the string of new girls on dates every other night for him and the beginning of the rest of his life.
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scarlvtbitch · 3 years
Text
Rusty
bucky barnes x female reader
summary: it’s bucky and reader’s first time but its also buckys first time in 90 years, he feels a little bit insecure about it
warning: smut (unprotected sex, metal arm kink kinda)
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Y/N and Bucky were dating for a month now. After years of miscommunication and pining after one another, they were finally together. The team was really relieved because they didn’t have to suffer through their doey eyes and sexual tension. But there was sexual tension, alright.
After a month of dating they haven’t been intimate that way. They’ve kissed and cuddled but nothing more than that. Y/N wanted nothing more than to be taken by Bucky. She wanted her body to be only his. He never tried though. That was the frustrating part for her. Whenever they would be making out he was always the first one to pull away. Something would always come up before they could go any further.
This just made Y/N insecure. The first reason that popped in her brain was that he didn’t like her enough to sleep with her. One day, she was with Wanda on the couch. It had been a long time since she’d seen her and she really needed her best friend in moments like this. She couldn’t keep it in her chest any longer.
“Bucky doesn’t want to sleep with me.” She blurted out, making Wanda almost choke on her drink.
“Did he tell you that?” 
“No.” She groaned and hid her face in her palms. “Every time things get...heated, he always pulls away. Am I that ugly?”
“Y/N, don’t talk like that. You’re beautiful and you know it. I’m sure Bucky knows it too. That can’t be the reason, you just need to talk to him.”
“Yeah, you’re right.” If only her anxiety didn’t eat her alive whenever she thought a million different ways the conversation could go. But an idea came to her head. Bucky was going to drop by later, just like he always did and it was the perfect opportunity to talk to him. However, she decided to add a little bit of spice of her own.
It took the whole afternoon for Y/N to get ready. She showered, shaved, did her hair and makeup. Then she put on the sexiest set of lingerie she owned, which consisted of black lace. She put nothing over it.
A knock on the door startled her, she took one last glance at herself in the mirror before she opened it.
Bucky’s mouth dropped at the sight before him. Y/N’s figure was hugged by black lace, her breasts on full display for him. He gulped as he could feel his mouth start to dry. He accepted her invitation to come inside. He could feel his erection begin to spring to life. His heart was wildly beating inside his chest and he could feel his palm start to sweat under his glove. Y/N waved her hand towards her couch, silently telling him that it was okay to take a seat.
He sat down and she was straddling his lap in an instant. Her core hovering over his bulge. He growled as he pushed her head towards his lips, Y/N moaned at his roughness. He suddenly pulled away.
“Buck, do-do you not want this? Do you not want me?”
“God, no, doll. I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything or anyone. You’re so goddamn beautiful, I don’t know how I’ve held myself back so many times. The truth is...” He rested his hands on her hips as he took a moment, scared of saying the words out loud. “I haven’t done this in ninety years. I don’t want to mess it up.” Y/N quickly raised her hands and cupped Bucky’s face. Caressing her thumb over his cheek bones.
“Baby, you won’t mess anything up. We’ll go slow, if you want. I don’t want to pressure you, I’ll wait for you no matter what.”
“I appreciate that, doll.” He grabbed one of her hands that was resting on his cheek and brought it over to his lips. “But you’re way too irresistible for me to wait any longer.” She squealed when he picked her up and carried her over to the bed. He gently set her down and his lips started making their way down her body. He pulled down the cups of her bra and freed her breasts. He wasted no time in latching his mouth to one of them while his flesh hand played with the other.
Y/N squirmed underneath him. The river between her legs making it hard to focus on anything else. He spent too much time between her breasts, and while he had a really talented mouth for someone who was scared of being bad because he hadn’t done this for over 80 years, she needed it somewhere else.
She dug her nails deep in his fabric covered biceps and whined out his name.
“What’s the matter, doll? What do you need?”
“You. Just you.” She managed to say. Bucky smirked against her and pulled away to take off his shirt. Y/N had seen Bucky shirtless while training but that didn’t stop her from being mesmerized by him. She was pretty sure he was sculpted by the gods themselves. Bucky laughed and her heart skipped a beat when she realized she actually said that aloud. 
“Thanks, doll. You’re pretty beautiful yourself.” He winked at her and she went to hide her face in her hands but he grabbed her wrists and leaned forward. Placing gentle loving kisses on her cheeks, nose, and forehead. Her heart melted at his actions.
Y/N decided enough was enough and went to pull his pants down, along with his underwear. His fully hard member bobbed against his stomach and she felt a rush of wetness emerge from her heat. Her eyes widened when she saw him. He was thick and long, she already thought he was perfect but this was the cherry on top. She gave him a few strokes, wanting to see what he felt like in her hand. Solid but soft and warm. He closed his eyes and grunted above her, his hand suddenly on her wrist as he put a stop to her motions.
“I need to be inside you.” Y/N nodded furiously against him before he lined himself up against her center and wasted no time in thrusting forward, all the way to the hilt.
Y/N cried out at the feeling. She felt so deliciously full and sex has never felt so right. She’s had sex before of course, but never with someone who she had strong feelings for like the man who was currently inside her. Wanda had once told her that casual sex was nothing compared to sex between two people who adored each other. Boy, was she right.
Bucky groaned and stilled above her. Wanting to savor how it felt to be gripped by her walls, and also wanting to give her time to adjust to him. She gave him the green light a few seconds later.
“Move, Buck, please.” 
“As you wish.” He then thrusted in and out of her at a steady pace. Y/N moaned at how good he felt, her exes could barely bring her to an orgasm but with Bucky, she knew she wasn’t going to last long. 
“Harder.” She breathed out.
“What was that?” He paused his motions.
“You’re such an ass.”
“Beg for it.”
“Fuck me harder, please.” He didn’t need to be told twice. His hips pounded into her harder and faster. The only sounds in the room were skin slapping against skin, the headboard rattling against the wall and their moans and grunts filling the air. Y/N suddenly got an idea. She brought her hand to his metal arm and gestured towards it.
“Touch me with it, please.” Bucky’s eyes widened because in all truth he didn’t want to use that arm during these activities. He was too ashamed of it.
“Y/N-”
“I love you, Bucky. Every part of you. So I’m asking you touch me with it.” She repeated.
Bucky’s metal arm snaked its way in between them and started rubbing tight circles against her clit.
She hissed and cried out when the cold met her warmth, getting her closer and closer...
Bucky could start feeling her core flutter against him, signaling that she was almost there. 
“Come for me, doll.” He rubbed faster against her, giving her one last deep stroke until she exploded underneath him. Her orgasm triggered his and he buried his face in her neck, giving her a small bite as he spilled himself into her.
Y/N moaned at the feeling of his cum deep in her belly.
They panted against each other until they were able to catch their breath and get their heart rates back to normal. He pulled his now soft member out of her and Y/N frowned at the loss. He tugged at the sheets on her bed and went to cover both of them up. Y/N nestled against his side, resting her hand on his sweaty chest.
She leaned forward and kissed his shoulder, keeping her face buried in the crook of his neck. His flesh arm trailed up and down her back, drawing lines with his fingers.
He placed a kiss against her hair and then whispered an I love you before sleep finally swept over both of them.
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in-ky · 3 years
Note
Hi! I’d love a story about Negan being a serial killer who only kills “bad people” (like in Dexter) and maybe he saves the reader from her ex who’s about to kill her and Negan can save her and takes her in because she’s a mess but she’s actually a killer herself (who kills rapists etc/ only the bad ones) and Negan and the reader start fighting and then get caught up in steamy hot sex 🥵 thank you!
Savior - Negan Killer AU
Warnings: Warnings: GORE + violence, smut, domestic abuse, swearing, dirty talk ig? idk how to tag this lol
A/N: hey! i struggled over this one for a while lol. ive only seen like. 3? episodes of dexter so. i really hope this meets your expectations! also forgive any mistakes its late, im tired, and i wanna get this up lol. also, is negan batman? maybe. 3.7k words
"Will, stop you're hurting me!" I hissed, grabbing at his wrist. He tugged me out of the bustling restaurant and into the dark street.
"I don't really give a shit," He snarled, throwing me into a secluded alleyway a few buildings down from the restaurant. Will had taken me out to a business dinner with his boss in hopes of showing me off and making a good impression. But things didn't quite go according to plan. "You embarrassed me in front of everyone!" He pushed me against the brick wall of the closed department store.
"What was I supposed to do?" I sneered, trying to wiggle away from him "He kept commenting on my body, saying how he wished he could take me home at the end of the night and do all kinds of 'unspeakable things to me'."
"You were just supposed to shut up and take it!" Will said, voice filled with rage "But no, you and your untamable fucking complex just couldn't handle a compliment. You threw your drink in his face! You're lucky he didn't fire me right then and there. You made me look like some pussy who can't control his whore."
"You're an asshole." I shouted, tears welling at the edges of my eyes. Will's face contorted further into a look of pure, unadulterated hatred.
"What the fuck did you just call me?" He seethed, clasping his hand tightly around my throat and constricting his fingers around my airway.
"I said you're an asshole who cares more about his dead-end career than his fucking girlfriend." I croaked. I hated him. I hated him so much. My vision clouded with the combination of disgust, loathing, and lack of oxygen, so I hit him where I knew it hurt. "There's a reason you needed me for arm candy tonight. It's 'cause you're a boring, piece-of-shit, lowlife who has no skill whatsoever. How does it feel knowing you need me to make something of yourself?" With that, he threw me to the ground by my throat. He wasted no time and pinned me to the cold concrete. His knees dug into my shoulders and his hand flew to his back pocket, whipping out the switchblade he carried as a precaution against mugging. My eyes widened as they caught a glint of the moonlight off the sharp knife. He brought the blade up to my throat and slapped me over the cheek harshly with his free hand.
"You better take back those words, bitch," He hissed, pressing the blade into the soft skin of my jugular "or they might just be your last." A dribble of blood ran down my neck with the pressure. Realization flashed through my mind. I could die right then. That could have been my last moment. Was I scared? No. Why wasn't I scared? Maybe it had to do with the shadowy figure that was slowly approaching us from the ally entrance.
There was plenty of time for me to warn Will that someone was coming. But I didn't. Instead, I stayed quiet and watched as the shadow figure pulled Will from my body with ease and tossed him to the side. Everything was kind of a blur. I was still oxygen starved and filled with a whirl-wind of emotion. I heard Will cry out in surprise and indignance. The shadow figure said nothing. It saw the switchblade with a steady line of my blood. It kicked Will in the chest, knocking him to the ground. Then it lifted up a baseball bat over its head and cracked it down over Will's skull. He continued to beat Will until he stopped squirming. The shadow figure paused and swung the bat over his shoulder. I had regained my breath and pushed myself to my elbows. The shadow noticed me moving and took a few heavy steps in my direction. I squirmed away slightly, instincts telling me to get away from the thing that had just pulverized my boyfriend. The shadow entered a stream of moonlight. It was a man. He had peppered hair and a blood-speckled face. He had dark brown eyes and a small smile perched on his lips.
"You okay, sweetheart?" He said. His voice was deep. I was partially surprised. He wasn't a bulky man. He was tall and had a broad frame, but his limbs were long and his body was lithe. He wore a leather jacket and his boots were slick with what I could only assume were Will's brains. I didn't want to look at his bat.
"W-Why did you do that?" I whispered. It was all I could muster.
"He was going to kill you." The man sounded confused, like I was supposed to know who he was and why he saved me.
"You don't know that." My voice was quiet. My eyes were glued to a spot behind the man, unblinking. He let out a throaty chuckle and dropped to a squat, leveling with me.
"Doll, he had a knife pressed to your throat," His words were gentle "Looked like he was gonna fuckin' kill you." He hesitantly reached out two fingers in the direction of my face. I didn't move. He was wearing leather gloves. The ridged fabric ran along my injuries. "Seems like he did some damage before I could step in. Damn. Sorry about that. Listen, I live a few streets down. If you want, I can get you cleaned up."
"Okay," I said softly. I let him help me up to my feet. He guided me along with one arm while holding his bat with the other. As we walked out of the alley I couldn't help but look down at Will, or what remained of him at least. His forehead was split in half, a pool of chunky blood bubbling on the ground. I clenched my jaw and forced myself to swallow the bile that had risen in my throat. And yet, I didn't feel sad. I didn't mourn him. Maybe it was shock, maybe it wasn't. "Thank you?" I murmured, though it was more of a question. The man and I stepped out onto the street and I was grateful there was no one around to see us leaving the scene of a very heinous-looking crime.
"No problem, doll," The man hummed, setting a brisk pace down the sidewalk. "The name's Negan, by the way." Cool. Negan: my Savior.
~~~
"So you're like Batman?" I asked Negan as he dabbed the blood away from my neck. He gave a short chuckle and tore away the sticky part of the band-aid.
"I guess you can say that," he mused, splaying the bandage over the cut the knife had left "but I specifically go for people that I know have hurt others. The baddies, if you will."
"Is that legal?" I tilted my head, crossing my ankles as they dangled over the bathroom counter. My palms were flat on the surface of Negan's marble sink top, fiddling with the wrappers of the medical supplies he had used to clean and bandage my small cuts and bruises.
"I haven't been caught," Negan shrugged "besides, it's less work for the police. They don't have to do any interrogation bullshit or anything. I usually catch people in the act, like tonight. Then I do my thing."
"Do you kill everyone?"
"Only the bad people," He reminded, tossing away a bloody tissue "only people who have hurt others. But, yes, usually the offender ends up on the business end of Lucille over there." He pointed out the door into the living room, where the still-bloody bat rested against a chair. I furrowed my brow.
"Well, doesn't that make you a bad guy?" I pressed. He tapped my knee and I dropped down to the tile floor, tucking my hair behind my ear and gathering some of the scraps.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you still kill people, right? Even if they're bad? So doesn't that still make you a killer?" Negan was quiet for a minute. "Let's put it this way," I continued "What would you do if you came across someone who was like you; someone who hurt the bad people. Would you still kill them. They're hurting people." Negan took a deep breath and let it out with a contemplative sigh, itching his bearded chin.
"I'm not sure," He mused "I've never really thought about it before. See, I don't consider myself a bad person per say. Yea, what I'm doing might be considered fucked up. But I'm doing it for the right reason. I'm protecting people by attacking their attackers. In the end, someone's saved." He brushed off his hands and led me out of the bathroom, flicking the light off. "Would you rather me not have saved you tonight?"
"No," I said immediately "thank you. Really, thank you. You saved my life. Will is...was...always a dick, but I never thought he'd actually hurt me. I guess that proves people can have a whole bunch of layers." Negan nodded and moved to the kitchen. He raised a bottle of whiskey as an offering. I shook my head but he poured himself a glass.
"I was just doing my job," Negan grinned sympathetically "I'm sorry your boyfriend was an asshole who tried to murder you." I shrugged, amusement in my eyes.
"Eh, it happens to everyone." I smiled as he let out another laugh. I felt as if I shouldn't be laughing, but at the same time, everyone has their own responses to almost getting stabbed to death in an alley. So I let myself have this moment. Besides, Negan was a good guy to be around. He made me feel safe, comfortable, secure. Everything I needed right now. "So, Negan, what do you do? Surely vigilante-ing can't pay well, and this apartment is really nice."
"I'm a retired baseball player," Negan said, sipping his whiskey and settling into one of the armchairs in the living room "Hence the bat."
"Were you any good?" I asked. He let out a loud scoff.
"Was I any good?" He mocked "Sweetheart, I have a whole damn trophy room. I was fucking amazing. I just got old."
"So you're rich with no real job, you kill bad guys, and you have a massive ego," I listed "You really are like Batman, aren't you?"
~~~
Negan let me stay on his couch that night. It was leather, like everything else that man seemed to own, but it was comfortable. I woke up to the smell of bacon filling the air. I groaned and rubbed my fists against my eyes, clearing them of sleep. I stretched my arms above my head in a yawn and rolled off the couch, stumbling into the kitchen. Negan was hunched over the bubbling pan, dodging pellets of grease as they shot up at him.
"Smells good!" I purred, closing my eyes and taking a deep inhale.
"Good," He grumbled "You better fucking enjoy it because I've gotten burned at least three times." I laughed and walked up to him examining the small red patches that dotted his arms.
"You didn't have to make me breakfast you know."
"Yea, but I wanted to make sure you were comfortable," He sighed, turning off the stove and scooping the cooked bacon onto a paper towel. "Besides, I was craving some bacon when I woke up. I haven't had someone to share a meal with in a while."
"Well, if you want, you can come by my house for dinner." I offered, crunching down on a piece of bacon "I've been meaning to whip out the family alfredo recipe for a while, maybe a hot date would give me that incentive." I gave him a playful wink and he chuckled.
"Sure thing, doll," He hummed, putting the pan in the sink "I love me some fucking spaghetti. I'll see you around seven?"
"Sounds good."
~~~
I ran down the sidewalk, chest heaving. There was enough darkness to cover me, but I still kept my head down to prevent recognition. I held my hands close to my stomach, praying that the blood on my fingers wouldn't drip on the pavement and leave a trail. I had been on my way home from the store when I heard some commotion coming from an alley. My first instinct was to run, but then I heard the girl crying for help. Negan came to mind, what he did, how he helped people. I couldn't turn away. I marched down the alley and saw a greasy man pinning a woman to the wall of a building. Flashbacks of the night before hit me like a train. I looked on top of the alley dumpster  and saw a crowbar perched on one of the lids. I grabbed it and stormed up to the man, whacking him upside the head with the weapon. I kicked him to the side and brought the crowbar over my head before swinging it down. It connected with his face in a sickening 'thwack.' I thought of Will. I thought of what might of happened if Negan had never stopped him. I thought of all the times that bastard had gotten drunk and told me I was nothing. I let the rage bubble up and fuel my beating. By the time I was pulled back into the moment, my muscles were screaming, the woman was gone, and the man's face was unrecognizable. I tossed the crowbar into the dumpster and ran back home.
Dried blood is extremely hard to wash off. It sticks to your skin in flakes, creating a pattern of red veins crawling over your hands. Fuck. I scrubbed as hard as I could under the rushing water of the sink, pumping more and more soap into my hand. It was under my fingernails. It was stuck in my palm prints. Shit, did I leave fingerprints at the scene? Would they be coming for me? With a hiss, I rubbed even harder at my skin, small flecks of blood turning the sink water red.
Suddenly, my door opened.
"I'm ready for my s'getties!" Negan boomed with a wide smile. My head whipped around, looking at him with wide eyes. His grin faded and he crossed the room in record time, grabbing my wrists and turning the sink off. "Is this fucking blood?" He snarled, bringing my hands up to my face. I clenched my jaw and dropped my eyes to my feet. "Jesus, who's is it? Answer me!"
"I-I heard someone screaming on the way home," I said quietly, eyes still downcast "I thought I would help..." His jaw went slack and he let go of my hands, running his fingers through his hair.
"Jesus fuck, you can't just go around killing people!"
"Why not?" I snapped, eyes meeting his "You do it all the time? What's the difference? Why can't I help people?"
"Because it...Because you just can't!" Negan growled, shaking his head.
"Why are you so special?" I hissed back, drying my hands off on a towel before tossing it at him "It's not like you can get a permit for fucking murder. Why do you do it, anyways? Is it some perverted thing? Do you get off on saving people from attackers?"
"Watch yourself." Negan warned, eyes darkening.
"Pfft, or what?" I laughed, tossing my head back "What are you gonna do, kill me? I'm not afraid of you, Negan." As soon as the words left my mouth, he charged me. His hand flew to my throat, squeezing my airway lightly. His hips pressed me against the counter. I let out a small gasp when he shoved his face next to mine.
"Oh, but doll, you really fucking should be." He spat, curling his lip "I could snap your neck right here, right now." He gave a small squeeze to emphasize his words. I let out a strangled moan. We both froze. "Are you turned on right now?" He muttered, furrowing his brow. I licked my lips and squirmed in his grip, pressing my thighs together slightly in an effort to alleviate the warm pressure growing in my belly.
"No," I lied, voice weak. A sinister grin curled over the bottom half of his face and he licked his tongue over his teeth.
"And I'm the perv, huh?" He sucked on my earlobe and peppered kisses down my jawline "Sweetheart, tell me, do you want me to fuck that pretty little pussy of yours? Do you want me to make you cum harder than you ever have?" I whimpered at his dirty mouth. "Use your words, doll, or I'll leave right fucking now."
"Y-Yes!" I breathed as Negan's lips sucked on the sweet spot right beneath my ear.
"Yes, what, princess?"
"Yes, I want you to fuck me, please!" I groaned, clawing at his shirt. He let out a short chuckle, muttering something about how needy I was, but I didn't care. Right now, the only thought running through my head was that I needed Negan. I needed all of him. And damn me if I wasn't going to get it.
We clawed at each other's clothes like rabid animals. Once we were completely bare, Negan moved his kisses down my body. His large, calloused hands kneaded my breasts, twisting my nipples between his thumbs. My arms flew around his neck and I dragged my fingernails up his back. He shivered against my touch and slid his hands further down my body. They settled firmly on my hips as he captured my lips in a fervent kiss.
"Fuck, sweetheart," he grunted, pulling back for air. I looked at him. His tawny eyes were now black, pupils far beyond dilated with lust. Both of our lips were swollen and red from the intensity of our kisses. Negan's chest inflated and deflated quickly as his eyes roamed over my body. "You're so damn perfect." I smiled sheepishly and pulled my bottom lip between my teeth, looking up at him through lidded eyes.
"You're not so bad yourself," I reached out my hand and used my pointer finger to draw a line from his collar bone down the center of his chest and through his navel, finally ending right over his pulsing cock. He sucked in a breath as my fingers closed around him. My thumb swept over the hot tip, gathering precum on the pad of my finger and rubbing it around.
"Shit," He hissed as I slowly pumped him "I'm not gonna fucking last if you keep doing that." He gently pried my hand away and took a step closer to me. I could feel his hardened length resting against the inside of my thigh. The thought of him being so close made a burst of heat rush down between my thighs. Negan took a long finger and ran it through my folds, collecting my wetness. I moaned as he teasingly dipped the first knuckle into me. He pulled back and let out a low whistle. "Damn, girl," he chuckled, raising his finger to my face "You're fucking dripping. Who's that for?" His slick-coated fingers glistened in the light of my apartment. I let out a deep groan as he slid them between his lips and sucked.
"You, Negan!" I whimpered, wrapping my legs around his waist "It's all for you." A wolfish grin spread over his features as he tugged me off him and pulled me down off the counter. He spun me around and pressed gently between my shoulder blades until my chest was flat against the cold surface.
"Then if you don't mind," Negan cooed, lining himself up with my entrance "I'm going to take what belongs to me." With that, he slowly pushed into me. I gasped at the stretch, balling my hands into fists as he continued to split me open.
"Fucking shit," he groaned once he bottomed out "you're tight as hell. I bet you've never had a dick as big as mine." He pulled out slightly and I let out a moan at the growing emptiness inside. The moan soon turned to a yelp when he brought down his hand against my ass. The smack was loud and he rubbed the red spot tenderly. "Have you?"
"N-No!" I gasped when he thrusted into me for the first time "Never. Fuck, you feel so good." Negan's thrusts sped up, his hips snapping against my ass in an obscene rhythm. Grunts and moans of pleasure slipped from both of our lips as he plowed unapologetically into me. I could feel every inch of him. He was hitting every spot, dragging against my walls in a sinfully perfect way.
"You're doing so good," He purred, kissing and biting my shoulder "So good for me. You're so perfect." I tossed my head back and he grabbed my chin, tilting my face towards him so he could give me another bruising kiss. I could only keep up for so long, though, and the white bliss of pleasure he was giving me soon became overwhelming. My jaw went slack and my head dropped against the cool tile of the counter in an attempt to ground myself in the moment. "I want you to cum, doll, cum around me. Wanna feel those walls squeeze me." His thrusts were starting to become sloppy and I could tell he was getting to his end. One of his fingers danced down my spine and found its way to my clit. He circled it with just enough pressure to get me to the edge that I was so willing to jump off. "Now." Negan growled. I obeyed, feeling the band in my lower abdomen snapping violently. We reached our releases simultaneously. My walls clenched around him, milking him of every drop. I screwed my eyes shut and screamed his name, holding in a large breath as the world around me spun. Negan eventually pulled himself out and collapsed on top of me. We both were breathing heavily, sweaty bodies entangled as well as we could over a counter. I swallowed, my throat dry from panting through my orgasm. When my eyes fluttered open, I could see Negan's thumb tracing circles over the love bites that were starting to darken on my shoulders.
"Are you going to kill me?" I rasped, running a hand through my wild hair "I guess I'm a bad person now." Negan chuckled, still out of breath.
"I think I'll make an exception," He mused, pressing a sweet kiss to the shell of my ear "I don't think I'm ready to let you go just yet."
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shemarmooresfedora · 3 years
Text
Rebuilding Family
Summary: Y/N and Spencer were college sweethearts at Cal-Tech but once Spencer got accepted to the FBI Academy, he ended things deciding it was not fair to make Y/N wait for him. When they meet again years later, he discovers something unexpected.
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem! Reader
Warning: swearing
Masterlist
Chapter 1
“Thank you for agreeing to guest lecture this semester. My students are really looking forward to hearing stories from a real life FBI agent,” Professor Walker was giving Spencer a tour of Georgetown University.
Spencer had agreed to guest lecture once a week in Professor Walker’s Criminology course following the return of the very much alive Emily Prentiss to the BAU. Spencer had snapped quite a few times at his co-workers and was still adjusting to the sudden development so Hotch signed off on this as a little break for Spencer.
Professor Walker was explaining faculty parking when Spencer heard that voice. It was so nostalgic and comforting, filling him with a sense of warmth that he desperately craved. He thought he would never hear it again.
“My office hours are Tuesdays and Thursdays from three to six. Can you make the lab up one of those days?” the voice asked.
Spencer was desperately looking around, trying to find the owner of voice so he could prove it wasn’t all in his head and you were actually really here.
Then, Spencer saw you. You looked as gorgeous as ever. You were in a black pencil skirt and a dark green blouse with pale pink high heels which was a far cry from the crewnecks, leggings, and converse that Spencer had known you to wear most of the time in college. You looked very mature and that is not to say you didn’t seven years ago but you had this sense of confidence about you now.
“Okay perfect, see you then,” you hung up the phone and made eye contact with Spencer.
Your jaw went slack, eyes widening in what appeared to be horror, and you ceased all your movement.
“Dr. Reid? Do you have any questions?” Professor Walker asked, forcing Spencer’s gaze to drift back to him.
“Uh no, I-I’m all set,” Spencer stuttered.
In reality, he had not listened to a single word he had just said but he took the metro so he didn’t have to worry about faculty parking. He was still trying to process the brief eye contact he had just made with you and figure out if it was a dream or not.
“Perfect, then you are free to go! I’ll see you Monday morning, bright and early!” Professor Walker chuckled.
Spencer waved as Professor Walker strolled off to his office and his eyes scanned the campus for you once again. However, you were long gone. Maybe it was a figment of his imagination.
-
“What the fuck!” you whispered to yourself as you were in a full-on sprint in your heels.
You were trying to locate your car keys in your purse while maintaining your speed. You simply could not handle seeing him ever again. You didn’t even know why he was here. He chose the FBI over you so shouldn’t he be on a private jet or something flying across the country?
Once you made it to your car and slumped into the driver’s seat, you knew you were safe. He didn’t know what car you drove and there were way too many cars to go around looking in the windows of each one.
You took a moment to collect yourself before pulling out of the parking lot. You drove your normal route to Wesley Elementary School and turned off the ignition, hopping out the car.
The kindergarteners were all lined up in a not-so-straight line behind their teacher with their little coats and colorful backpacks on.
“Hi Mrs. Flynn!” you greeted, heading to the back of her line.
You saw a flash of purple before you felt two little arms wrapping around your knees.
“Mommy, I missed you so much,” she exclaimed as you picked her up.
“How much?” you asked.
“This much,” the girl outreached her arms, creating a gap the size of her arm span between them.
“I missed you even more than that, Josephine,” you kissed her cheek, carrying her back to the car.
You placed her in her car seat and got her all buckled up as she talked to you about her day.
Yes, Jo was Spencer’s, that much was obvious from her big brown eyes and curly brown hair. She looked just like her dad but he didn’t even know she existed.
You and Spencer had dated for a little over a year at Cal-Tech. He was already on his third PhD and you were in your second year of undergrad but you both were twenty.
You thought he was the one but looking back on it now, what did you know. You were young, dumb, and in love. As soon as he was recruited for the FBI, you were swiftly dumped as he gallivanted across the country to be a badass and save lives. Fuck Spencer Reid is all you could think as you moped around your apartment for the first two weeks, absolutely miserable.
Then, you realized your period was late and you were never late. When you found out you were pregnant, your friends and family were very supportive, your parents especially, they said they would support your decision either way.
You decided to keep the baby even though you were still very young. You knew it would be hard but you knew this was something you wanted. You knew ever since you were a child playing with baby dolls and then growing up and babysitting your neighbor’s kids that being a mom would make you happy.
You never reached out to Spencer though. He broke up with you and then moved across the country. You weren’t really up for a “hey listen, I know you live thousands of miles away now and don’t want anything to do with me anymore but I’m having your child” phone call so you simply never made it. Sure, some help may be nice but you had your parents. You certainly didn’t need any help from the asshole.
-
It had been hours since Spencer had seen Y/N but he still couldn’t wrap his head around it.
He went to his old dusty computer on his desk and typed in “Y/N Y/L/N”. He wasn’t proud of this but he wanted to know what you were up to.
He found your section on the Georgetown University website. You were an Associate Professor in biology. Spencer smiled, remembering all the night you would come over to his apartment with a bundle of flashcards and have him quiz you until you got every single one right.
Your instagram profile was private and Spencer didn’t even have an account to request to follow you on. Not that he would, an ex seeing you in public after seven years and then requesting to follow you on an account that he just made would definitely come off as creepy.
He could ask Penelope to do further digging but you weren’t a bad guy so that would be an invasion of your privacy and he didn’t really want to deal with all of Garcia’s questions.
Spencer sighed. He missed you. He thought about you very often. Spencer thought it would be selfish to keep you tied down to him when he wouldn’t be able to see you very often. He thought it would just make you miserable so he broke up with you in order to save you from the future pain. But it hurt him so much that he actually cried the entire plane ride to Virginia, the poor woman next to him handing him tissues occasionally. You were way out of his league to begin with, you would find someone new and better in no time, he thought.
In the seven years that had passed, he had a few occasional flings but never even close to what he had with you. You were his first love and undoubtedly his last because he had realized too late that you were it for him.
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tom-holland-parker · 3 years
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Drafted
Summary: Bucky has to tell you that he leaves tomorrow but not without leaving you with plans for when he gets back
Pairing: 40s!bucky x reader
Word count: 1344
Notes: Broke my heart while writing this because we all knows what happens after he leaves and Jesus Christ it just hurts to think about how y/n is gonna feel when she realizes he not coming back...ughhhh
Masterlist
Bucky had made a lot of choices in his life, but deciding to keep this a secret was the hardest one. The letter remained in his sock drawer for weeks as he contemplated ways to tell you, his guilt eating him alive as the days drew closer
“I got drafted”
He’d practiced those words over and over again trying to find any way to make them sound different. Trying to make them sound better. Maybe a larger part of him was hoping it would all go away if he avoided it but he knew it wouldn’t, not with the way the war was going.
So now here he was with 1 day left to tell you the truth
Bucky took a deep breath as he knocked on your door, smiling when your mother opened it, “Good Evening Ma’am”
“Hello James, Y/N is just getting her shoes on, please come in” She said as she opened the door wider. Bucky stepped in, enjoying the familiar smell of your mother's apple pie coming from the kitchen, “So where will you two be going tonight?”
“We’re going to the Stark expo tonight” You replied as you came down the stairs. Bucky couldn’t help but smile at the sight of you, wearing the pink dress he loved on you and the necklace he gave you for your birthday last year. “Well look at you all dolled up for me” He said as he kissed your cheek. 
“Not too bad yourself handsome” You chuckled, “We should get going, Mom I’ll be home by curfew love ya”
///
The night was amazing, filled with fun as you and Bucky looked at all the new inventions. As the night went on Bucky glanced at his watch nervously, “Doll we gotta go” You chuckled grabbing his hand, “My curfew isn’t for another two hours”
Bucky shrugged his shoulders as you both quickly jumped into the car he borrowed from a friend, “We’re actually making a quick stop before I drop you off” He said as he began to drive. Your brows furrowed, “Where exactly are you taking me Mr. Barnes?”
He chuckled, “if I tell you it’d ruin the surprise”
You jokingly huffed in disappointment as you looked out the window, watching as the apartment building quickly turned into houses, you were definitely far from home, “Bucky where are you taking me?”
“Don’t worry you’ll like it.” He stopped driving after a few more minutes, parking outside of a small white house with a match white picket fence boarding the lawn. You glanced at him, your face filled with confusion, “A house?”
He chuckled pointing towards the house, “One day I’m gonna buy you that house” You smiled, moving closer to rest your head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around you. “And we’ll have two kids,” he continued, “and a dog”
“And fireworks every fourth of July” You chimed in, picturing your picture perfect life with Bucky. He’d come home after a long day of work, greeting you with a kiss. You guys would throw a huge barbeque every fourth of July, ending the night with fireworks and s’mores. You watch from the back door as Bucky plays catch with your son while you cradle the sleeping baby girl in your arms.
So many scenarios played out in your head as you rested in his arms, it wasn’t until he placed a small kiss on your temple that you were pulled out of your imagination. You looked up at him, his lips meeting your for a quick kissed before he pulled away from you, “I have to tell you something”
“What's wrong?” You questioned, noticing the look of nervousness and worry on his face. He took a deep breath, here goes nothing, he thought to himself, “I got drafted. I leave tomorrow”
The words hit you like a ton of bricks, you see the countless of boys being drafted and every night you prayed that Bucky would never be added to that list of boys, but as luck would have it here you were. You stood silent, utterly speechless as your eyes filled with tears. Trying but failing to blink them away as you shook your head in disbelief, “No you’re lying. That’s not something to joke about”
Bucky’s heart broke as he watched you process the words he said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know how to tell you”
“How could you keep this from me?” You wiped your tears, it was useless though, the tears just kept falling. Bucky sighed pulling you into a hug before gently holding your face with his large hands, “I’m sorry, If I could change it I would but don’t worry I’m going to come back to you no matter what it takes”
You swallowed the lump growing in your throat, “Promise?” 
He smiled, kissing your forehead, “I promise”
///
The next day you got up extra early, catching Bucky at the bus stop surrounded by the other drafted men who were saying goodbye to the people they loved, “what are you doing here?” he said as he pulled you into a tight hug, spinning you around before letting you go.
You chuckled, “Did you really think I’d let you leave without saying goodbye?”
“No, I figured you’d find some way to see me before I left.” He said with a smile, “So what do you think” he took a step back so you could see him fully. It hurt to see him in his uniform but you couldn’t ignore how good he looked. 
“Well aren’t you a dreamboat” You joked, “I need a picture before you leave”
Bucky rolled his eyes, but smiled for the camera as you took the picture, you smiled as the polaroid printed, “Gotta show our future kids just how handsome you are” 
“Well it’s only fair that they get to see what a catch their mother is” he grabbed the camera, pulling you closer to him as he took a picture of the both of you. “Keep it” you chuckled, putting it in his pocket, “that way all the pretty nurses will know your mine”
Bucky rolled his eyes, “You know I only have eyes for you doll”
“Alright boys, on the bus” the tall man shouted. You watched as everyone said their final goodbyes. You looked at him, not having the guts to say goodbye, “two kids and a dog” You said quietly as tears slowly trailed down your face. It was an unusual way to say goodbye but it was good enough for you.
Bucky nodded, kissing your forehead before pulling you in for a final hug, “and fireworks every fourth of July”
Present day
It took a long time for Bucky to gain the courage to actually go to the museum, every time he thought about going he would chicken out. Too nervous to think about that time in his life. It took Sam weeks to finally convince him to go and now here he was, staring at the exhibit dedicated to people that died in the war.
He rolled his eyes as he saw his face on the screen, “James “Bucky” Buchanan Barnes, died during an ambush. His remains were not found, his only belonging found was a picture many say he kept in his pocket at all times. This picture can be found at the end of the exhibit on the photography wall” He heard the guide tell the group of people nearby. 
He sighed making his way to the end of the exhibit, searching the wall for the picture. It took a few minutes but there it was. There was obvious damage, wear and tear from years of being tossed around but he could still see you. He could still make out all the lines on your face, the shape of your lips, the shape of your eyes. He smiled, taking out his phone to take a picture of it. He took one last look at it before deciding he’d had enough for today. He’d come back another day to see you again
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sergeantbuckybarnes · 3 years
Text
serendipity // bucky barnes
PART ONE
Summary: You end up stuck in 1942 without a way to come back, but when you meet the young and charming version of Bucky Barnes, do you really want to go back to the present?
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Word count: 2.3k
Warnings: lack of ‘40s knowledge
A/N: As always, remember English is not my first language. Thanks to @punxgal​ for proofreading this. You’re amazing!
divider by @firefly-graphics​
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“Are you sure we should be here? You know how Tony is about people in his lab,” Wanda pointed out for like the seventh time but you kept on ignoring her. Maybe you should have listened to her and you wouldn’t be stuck in this situation. 
Tony didn’t allow anyone in his lab, he had his reasons, but the majority of it was because he didn’t like it when other people touched his stuff. You had the stupid idea of breaking this rule to go to see what he was working on, and of course, you bring Wanda with you, because if you are going to get in trouble you may as well involve your best friend.
You were a restless person and had the bad habit of sticking your nose where it doesn't belong. It was something most people hated about you, you did nothing to change it, but this time took the cake.
You had messed with one of Tony’s new gadgets, the lights went off, an alarm ringing so loud you had to cover your ears. Then out of nowhere, a gust of wind swirled the room.
Wanda screamed at you asking what was going on, sparks lighting up the darkroom. You could feel what felt like someone pulling you and then your body hit the ground and seconds later Wanda was laying next to you.
Pulling yourself back up onto your feet, you looked around taking in your surroundings. You weren’t in Tony’s lab anymore. You were outside, in a dark alley. 
“Did Tony build a teleportation machine?” you asked confused 
“Not exactly,” you turned around to see Wanda, she was holding a newspaper in her hands with a frightened look on her face. You take a look at the paper to see what got her so shaken, and you saw it, the date. 
 “We’re in 1942?”
Was it really possible that you had traveled back in time? Had he really figured it out? You knew Tony was a genius but a time machine it’s too much, even for him.
“What do we do now?” Wanda was looking at you as if she was waiting for you to come with a solution, after all, you were responsible for this situation. If you haven’t sniffed around Tony’s lab you wouldn’t be here right now, you would be back at the compound, safe and eating ice cream while you watch some shitty show on Netflix.
You sighed, “I don’t know”
“They’re going to come for us, right?”
“I guess. The alarms went off in the lab, so they must know that something has happened, it’s just a matter of time until they put two and two together and come to our rescue.” But you didn’t know when that’s gonna happen. “We’ll just have to wait”
“Okay,” Wanda accepted, “What do we do until then?”
You decided the best thing, for now, was to look for a place to stay. You walked out of the alley and into the streets of Brooklyn. As you walked through the crowd you could see the strange looks people were giving you, trying to get out of your way or trying not to walk close to you at all.
“Why are they looking at us like that?” you inquired.
Wanda stopped walking and grabbed your hand, pulling you to a side of the street “I think it’s the clothes” she pointed out. 
“What’s wrong with our- “ you stopped your sentence when you took a look at what you were wearing. Jeans, t-shirts, boots, and leather jackets aren't the most go-to look in the ’40s.
You couldn’t walk through the streets like that. It was drawing attention and that’s the last thing you two needed right now. Wanda paused for a moment, you standing next to her, she was doubting if she should do what she had in mind or not, it was a good option, the only option you guys had. Wanda wasn’t a fan of her powers, especially with people often being scared and disgusted by her. Not that she didn’t blame them though. But it hurt you that some people didn’t see farther than her powers. She is not only your best friend, but an amazing person and who only deserves the best.
Wanda sighed. She didn’t have a choice. You looked at her and instantly knew what she wanted to do. It was one of the many reasons The Scarlet Witch was your best friend. There was no need for words to know what the other was thinking, even without her powers, there was a connection between you two.
Only a snap of her fingers and a few seconds later, you looked down to see your clothes. Your twenty-first century outfit had been replaced with a knee-length, A-line dress and a pair of peep-toe heels and your hair was now lying in loose waves. “Wow.” You looked at her with fascination that you’d always held when seeing Wanda use her powers. You didn’t understand why people could be afraid of her when she could do such wonderful things.
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It was the next day when you were laying in the bed of the hostel you were staying at and the ceiling had never been more interesting. It had been more than 24 hours and still, you had no news from your friends. 
You hadn’t left the room, and you were starting to feel suffocated. 
“Let’s get out,” you proposed as you got up from the bed. Wanda tore her gaze from the book she was reading and looked at you like had grown a second head.
“Are you crazy? We can’t just go walking around the city like that!”
“Why not?” you pouted and sat in her bed next to her “What is the harm?”
Your careless demeanor was something that drove Wanda crazy sometimes. You never thought about the consequences your actions could have and you two being stuck more than seventy years in the past was the perfect example of that. And now you wanted to go out and have fun as if this were a normal Friday for you.
The witch sighed and closed the book in her hands. “We’re not home, (Y/N). We cannot go and parade around the city like we belong here.”
“I just want to have some fun!” 
“You wanting to have fun is what had brought us here in the first place.” Wanda muttered under her breath, you weren’t supposed to hear it, but you did. You got up abruptly from the bed and made your way to the door.
“Where are you going?”
You didn’t reply to her as you left the room, closing the door behind you as you made your way out of the building and into the streets of New York. You knew you were acting childish and you knew Wanda was right but you were too proud to let her know that. 
You walked through the streets with no particular destination in mind, you just needed the air hitting on your face. You had walked for at least twenty minutes when you spotted a building that caught your eye. A dance hall.
You crossed the street and made your way into the building. Jazz music flooded your ears as soon as you entered even though the club wasn't that large. It had enough room for various couples to be able to dance and that’s all that seemed to be needed. This scene was so different from what you were used to. It felt different but in a good way. You couldn't help but feel struck by the feeling that you were born in the wrong decade. You’d have loved to live like this. 
As your eyes explored the room, you spotted a short man aside from the crowd that you couldn’t help but recognize. You narrowed your eyes, trying to get a better glimpse of him. Oh my god... He was so much different now, but you would recognize the face of Steve Rogers anywhere. 
 You turned to leave as soon as you recognised him. Steve couldn’t see you. Yes, he had no idea who you were yet, but he’ll meet you in the future and this could affect all manners of things. What if you do something that changes the past and affects the future and- Now you were panicking, your mind running a mile per hour, trying to get out there when you turned and slammed straight into someone. 
“Careful, doll.” That voice, why did it sound so familiar to you? You looked up into the eyes of the man in front of you and there he was. A young Bucky Barnes. With those steel-blue eyes,  full of joy and that charming smile that never left his face. This version of him, at least. The Bucky you knew was nothing like the man that currently stood in front of you. 
“You okay?” he asked worriedly, and it was then you realized that you had been staring at him for too long.
You looked away quickly, muttering a quick, “Y-Yeah, sorry.”
You tried to walk past him and keep your original plan of leaving the club. If talking to Steve was a bad idea, talking to Bucky wasn’t a better one. As soon as you made to leave, Bucky grabbed your upper arm gently, turning your heels so you were facing him again.
“Come on, doll. You can’t leave me like that,” the smile never left his face and you thought how strange it was to see him smile so much. Nowadays, it was a rarity to see Bucky smile, not that you could blame him for his broody demeanor after everything that he has been through. But now you couldn’t shake how damn beautiful he looked with a smile adorning his features. “You own me at least one dance.”
He held his hand to you, and you knew you should have refused, it was the worst idea and it could affect the future but you weren’t known for making the right choices. So, you took his hand and danced through your second mistake of the night.
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It was late when you walked into the room, but Wanda was still up, waiting for you on her bed. She was doing her typical ‘scolding a child’ pose and she could be intimidating when she wanted to.
“Where have you been?” she demanded.
You bit your bottom lip, a habit you had when you were nervous. “I fucked up….again”
His hands were on your back with yours wrapped around his shoulders. You swayed to the slow melody the band was playing. 
“So… I don’t think I got your name,”
“(Y/N) (Y/L/N),”
“Beautiful name for a beautiful girl.” His shameless flirting made you chuckle as you’d heard the stories from Steve about Bucky’s amazing luck with the ladies. But now that you had that same man in front of you, his hand wrapped around your middle and dancing so close to you, you could see why so many women fell for him. He really had a game.
“What about you, Romeo? Can I get your name?”
“Bucky Barnes” he smirked. As you kept dancing to the sound of the music, his eyes never left yours, not for even a second, and you wished in that moment that you had the power to read his mind.
He tightened his hands on your back as he leaned a little to be closer to you. “How is it that I have never seen you around before?”
“I’m just passing by” You simply state, not technically lying to him. You still held hope that your friends were working on a way to bring you home.
“Does that mean I’m not gonna see you again?” His voice sounded disappointed, almost sad. 
He brought one of the hands that were resting on your back to your face, caressing your cheek gently. Cupping your jaw, he looked into your eyes, asking for permission. When you didn’t do anything to stop him, he closed the gap between you, pressing his lips to yours. His lips were soft as they brushed gently against your own and you couldn’t remember the last time someone had kissed you with so much tenderness. Bucky has only known you for a few hours and his kiss had more meaning than any of the kisses you had received from any of your previous relationships. It was something you didn’t know you craved until now, so you let yourself get lost in the kiss, melting into the third mistake of the night.
“What the hell, (Y/N)!” Wanda raised her voice at you. “Do you have any idea of what you have done?”
“I just- I couldn’t help myself,” you defended yourself, “You should have seen him… I couldn’t tell him no.” 
“Since when do you have feelings for Bucky?”
“I don’t!”
“It doesn’t sound like it…. and it definitely doesn’t look like it. You practically light up every time you mention his name!” pointing accusingly at you.
You weren’t lying when you said you don’t have feelings for Bucky. You had barely talked to the man since Steve brought him to the compound. You didn’t know anything about him other than what basic information everyone already knew. 
He was quiet and shy, spending most of his time locked in his room. The times he did come out, he only spoke with Steve and Sam. He tried to stay out of the way of everyone, not wanting to be a burden.  
“What did you do after the kiss?” Wanda asked, drawing you out of your thoughts.
“I ran away...”
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