Summary: When she volunteered as a combat nurse in the war, (y/n) (y/l/n) did not think that she’d end up working with the Howling Commandos. Most of all, she definitely didn’t expect to fall as hard as she did for a sweet brunette from Brooklyn.
New Beginnings: A young girl travels overseas to help her country during the Second World War.
The semester is nearly over! I just have a few projects to turn in but I no longer have to wake up early until I start work. Usually, I take questions for this series all the time but I hope on doing a giant session form now and until I move out on Monday. So you can ask me anything like:
certain parts you liked
my plans for future chapters ( without spoilers of course )
literally anything, doesn’t even have to be a question
I’m also an illustration major so I don’t mind make a few doodles here and there. I’m more than willing to ignore my homework XD
Do you have a fic rec where bucky never falls from the train?
Yes that's probably the majority of fics from this blog tbh. It depends what trope(s) you want to read so here's some tags to get you started:
Newest entries show first. Don't forget you can enter in more than 1 key word at a time to achieve a more specific search result. The search bar on the WordPress blog is more reliable than tumblr is. This post shows you how to browse tags.
Bucky quickly put out his cigarette as he got close to home. Quickly waving out his coat and clothes to try to get rid of the scent, he stashed his cig in his usual hiding spot at the corner of the brick building. It was freezing out but he did this on his way home from work almost every day. Snow started falling slowly as he walked up the steps to his second floor apartment. It wasn’t much. Small room with a stove and a big window. Bucky heard muffled voices as he was about to unlock the door. Steve must've gotten home early today. Bucky put his coat on the hook , hoping it didn’t smell too strongly.
Only two people in the world call him Jamie and one has passed. Bucky’s sister had come over to visit.
“Becca, what are you doing here? Don’t you have to be back at school by 6?” Rebecca Barnes was five years younger than Bucky and Steve. When Bucky had signed up for the army, Becca had been put into finishing school until she was able to move out on her own. “ I’ll be fine Jamie. I just wanted to come and tell you both the good news. I have a job! I’ll be working for the telephone company. It’s secretary work. I’ll hope to be moving on my own as soon as I find housing.”
“ Becca! That’s great,” as Bucky grabbed his little sister and swung her around the small kitchenette.
“ Stevie is all worried still. Word is going around that troops are being sent over from around here.” There was a war going on in Europe again. We were not involved this round but it was only a matter of time. The Barnes were an army family. Their father was in the army and his grandfather before him. Bucky wasn’t sure if he was ready to take his turn. Sure, he could shoot a gun and punch well. He was more scared to leave Steve and Becca on their own. If he did go off to war, he would send his pay to them. Becca could marry off well, as he hoped either way. He would find a way to support Steve.
“Well for tonight let’s celebrate that new job little one!” Bucky snapped as he crawled under the bed in the other room. He hid the good bottle of brandy in a box for special occasions. “ Tonight is a special occasion,”. His eyebrow raised as Steve still acted nervous. Bucky put on his sister’s favorite record on the player. The Andrew Sister began to harmonize. Becca giggled as she grabbed Steve and started dancing with him. Becca moved to her brother as he poured two glasses of the brandy, just enough for a shot. “ Sorry sis but I’m not getting you in trouble Madame Ida. This is for Stevie. Come on, man.”
“ Bucky,” Steve sighed reluctantly.
“Tithadshi!” “ Sláinte!” The boys tossed back the shot. It wasn’t the best brandy but it was Bucky’s father’s favorite.
Steve winced after but smiled. “ Becca, you’ll do great.”
“ Thanks Stevie.” She gave him a quick peck on the check.” I better get going. Bucky, Aunt Rachel expects you at lunch on Sunday.” She gave her older brother a bear hug before putting on her coat and scarf. “ Maise should be here soon. Henry wanted to make sure his kid sisters got back to school.”
“ Are you sure? Tell him I owe him a game of pool next time.”
“Jamie, you cheat every time…” Becca coughed as she walked out the door.
“ Never stopped good ole Hank from trying”.
“ Bye Boys! Oh Stevie, Aunt Rachel said she expects you too. Love you both!”
“ She’s too young to be working. There is no need for a girl working when she doesn’t need to,” Steve and Bucky had settled into the bedroom . The boys had shared the apartment for a year now. It was almost home like. Steve had tacked his sketches all over the plain colored wall of the bedroom. Next to the window, an easel with a half done canvas. Sure these cost a pretty penny, but both men worked hard for their earnings. Bucky had been on the docks since he was 17 years old.Steve worked at the local W.P.A office. Desk work since his asthma has caused a few scary nights over the last year.
“Stevie, she’s just as old as I was when I started. Let her help in the way she wants. She’s a Barnes. We’re stubborn, “ Bucky nudged Steve with a laugh.
“ Oh that’s what you call it,” Steve scoffed.
“ That’s what we call. What’s your excuse? I heard you had another scuffle with John Brown. You can’t keep pissing people off with your lectures.”
“ I did fine.”
“Is that how Becca came over?”
“ What gave you that idea?”
“ Steve! Whatever, I can only save your ass so many times. Listen I got us plans for Saturday. The Murphy sisters, the Bellflower room, 8 o’clock.”
summary; It’s been decades since Bucky has visited this place, but it’s the closest he’ll ever get to seeing you again.
warnings; fluff, angst, grieving, mentions of trauma, sorry for the sadness.
word count; 900
a/n; this is told through present-day bucky’s memories and thoughts. enjoy <3 - stellie
This place has changed a lot since the forties.
Everything from the very bench that Bucky sits on, worn and wooden, to the new hotels that have popped up around the beach.
He used to come here before the war, hitching rides with Steve on trains on sunny weekends. It was the place to be.
The salty ocean waves in the distance, snacking on hot dogs and taffy, playing all day long. If Bucky squints, he can see you skipping across the near-empty beach. You’re in that sundress you wore the first time he saw you, laughing.
It’s quiet now, here at night. Coney Island isn’t the same without his best friend or his best girl, and he didn’t come here to have fun.
I’m here to make amends. Not because I hurt you, but because I promised if I lived, I would come back to you.
Bucky never came home. You wrote letters to him until it drove you mad, and never got one back. You assumed the worst, that he was gone without a trace like many other American soldiers.
He remembers the feeling of your kiss, holding you in one arm and an ice cream cone in the other. It would melt down his fingers in a sugary mess, the heat of July getting to it while he was too busy tasting your lips instead.
“Bucky! You’re gonna have to buy another one,” you giggled.
“No worries, doll.”
Joy, that’s what you were to him. He’d give anything to see you again. It was betrayal, being alive for all those years and never coming back for you. Maybe it was for the better, and you would’ve hated him if he did. His skin wasn’t soft anymore, he didn’t find himself charming like he once was, and the arm he used to hold you in was gone.
I don’t know if it would’ve been a mistake to come back, I’m sorry.
You were one of the few things that hadn’t slipped from his memory, lost in translation. They were never able to completely remove you from his mind, no matter how robotic they tried to make him.
It was fuzzy, the blurred images of this beautiful girl Bucky once knew. He didn’t know if you were real until Steve told him you were.
Now the scenes in his head are more vivid, and he can hear your voice whenever he closes his eyes.
“Meet me here next weekend?”
He always met you, wherever you asked. The only place he never made it was back home from Europe.
She moved away, that’s what Steve said. He had found records on you over seventy years after Bucky fell off the train. The thing Steve was too scared to say was that you were gone.
Holding hands on the boardwalk, stealing kisses under the stars, and you always smelled like cotton candy. You told him not to go to war, that you could both run away and he could just stay.
Bucky wouldn’t do that, you weren’t foolish enough to think he would. It was simply a fantasy.
Sometimes I wish I would’ve listened to you.
Too busy fighting the bad guys, that’s how Bucky and Steve always were, and you couldn’t stop the war. He was shipped out, and he looked so handsome in his uniform. He always had a nice smile.
“Your eyes look like the ocean,” you didn’t know it would be the last time you held his hand in yours.
“Don’t miss ‘em too much while I’m gone,” he kissed your cheek goodbye.
You didn’t think it was goodbye forever. You had faith that he would make it out alive, safe, but when the letters weren’t returned and you heard nothing about him for years, life changed.
People move on, including you, no matter how painful it might’ve been.
This was the only way for him to reconnect with you. Maybe your spirit wandered around this place, maybe you were sitting on the bench next to him.
Hydra changed him first, and the heartache of realization changed him second. Waking up every day and realizing that his left arm was still made of vibranium, he never had a choice, and he was alone in the modern world.
I look in the mirror, and sometimes I feel like a part of me is still missing.
You were his sunshine. Everything was so picturesque with you in it, staring at the city skyline at the end of the night. You’d draw your name next to Bucky’s in the powdery sand with your fingers, and let the tide peacefully wash it away.
In another life, he’s with you, happily together. Picket-fences aren’t exactly Bucky Barnes’ style nowadays, but he likes to imagine it. Any life with you would’ve been perfect.
I miss you, I’ll always miss you.
Completely head over heels, dancing under Brooklyn streetlights and lost in each other. Young lovers, never planning on letting go of one another.
This is the closest he’ll get to a conversation with you again, alone on a bench in Coney Island, looking out at the moonlit waves of the sea. It feels like you’re here with him.
You know I love you.
The stars above Bucky sparkle, one much brighter than all the others. Perhaps it’s you.
a girl lost in her own world with her nose stuck in a book and a boy lost in her world with his eyes stuck only on her.
WARNINGS!! angsty shiit!! but also so lovely and fluffy!! I can do a second part to properly end it!!! so just leave me a comment!!!
requested by the lovely: @vanteguccir
September 1937, Brooklyn.
Everyone was minding their business, as they pushed their way through the sidewalk in the morning rush. In the middle of them, a young woman was walking, her face shoved into her book not really paying any attention to her surroundings. She tripped many times as she walked and ignored many curses directed at her, the only thing that mattered at the moment was her book.
Using the muscle memory she turned right and continued walking until she felt someone grab her strongly. She gasped and shut her book, pulling it close to her chest as she saw someone on a bike pass her only by inches.
“For god’s sake, you and Stevie really can’t stay out of trouble can you?”
She immediately relaxed and turned to see her best friend who stared at her with a tired look. She smiled brightly “Now, where would be the fun in that?”
He sighed and touched the bridge of his nose “I swear I feel more like yours and Steve’s mother, rather than friend. I’m going to get grey hair before turning even 25”
“Some women fancy older looking gentlemen. And I recently read that older men make far better husbands than the younger fellas” she said as Bucky hooked their arms together, leading her through the sidewalk.
“Really? Well did you ask old Joe for his hand in marriage then? I’m sure he would be flattered by your proposal” her friend answered with a teasing grin.
She scoffed and hit him with her book, saying “Oh do shut up, James”
“Ouch... the name” he hissed as if he got burned.
Shrugging she said “You more than deserved it, James”
“Okay, okay sorry. Now, tell me what’s so interesting in that book, that it got you nearly hit by a bike?” he asked looking down at the old and wore down book in her hands.
Instantly her whole face brightened as she said “Pride and Prejudice! Oh it’s so lovely! It’s—“
“A romance novel” Bucky deadpanned looking at her in amusement “You’re telling me that a simple romance novel nearly got you a broken spine?”
“It’s not simple! It’s far from it, actually” she defended, grasping her book a tiny bit tighter.
Bucky smirked and said “Alright then, tell me what’s it about exactly. I’ll judge it”
She offered him a bright smile and started explaining the whole storyline. She was practically bouncing on her feet as she spoke, gesturing wildly as she tried her best to set the scene for him.
Bucky couldn’t help but listen to his best friend and stare at her like he couldn’t look away. Her eyes were shining with deep passion and her lips couldn’t stop smiling even as she spoke. Her cheeks got darker with how fast she was speaking, but that did not stop her. Bucky couldn’t help but notice the way his heart was hammering in his chest, as he watched her speak with such passion.
By the end of her explanation he couldn’t help but ask “So she hated him... but then she didn’t?”
“Didn’t you hear a word I said?! He left her a letter which explained everything and later helped her family... he did well by her”
“But he was a grumpy asshole! How could she fall in love with him?” he asked again, not understanding.
She rolled her eyes “He was shy and self conscious, Bucky. Not everyone can be as loud and open as you are” then she smirked adding “Although, you can also be grumpy”
Bucky looked offended as he asked “Me?! Hell no, that’s Stevie he’s the grumpy one”
“Oh yeah? And do tell me Mr. Sunshine. Who was all grumpy and glaring at Bill when we were out dancing yesterday?”
Immediately Bucky’s face darkened looking both grumpy and annoyed as he said “He didn’t act right with you, he was one comment away from asking you to leave with him”
“But he didn’t, because you wouldn’t stop staring at him as if he pissed in your beer” she said with a snort.
“He was disrespectful towards you! You’re my best friend of course I have to watch over you” Bucky explained, huffing his face still looking annoyed.
She shook her head with a smile and bumped her shoulder against his, saying “I know, now stop with the face or I’ll think that you’re trying to imitate Mr. Darcy”
Bucky let out a laugh, his face immediately lightening up as he said “No thank you. I think that ladies enjoy my charming qualities rather than the “grumpy” ones. Which for the record I don’t have, you punk”
She shrugged and said softly “Maybe. I for one don’t care about that. It’s more important to me, what a person has to offer with their heart. And how they act towards the people they hold close to their heart...”
Bucky didn’t answer right away as he stared at her soft and honest expression. She seemed like she was a bit lost in her own thoughts as she said it.
“So you’d be with a man that is a grumpy asshole?”
“If he would have a honest and pure heart, then yes” she said looking up at him with a smile.
He looked away and hummed to himself, before asking “So if you know the whole book cover to cover. Then why are you reading it again? Sounds boring”
“Well. For one, I don’t have money to buy a new book and second, I love this story so much. It’s just so... romantic. The love wins even if everything is against it. Their status, her rather stupid family, their strong personalities, his family and so much more... it’s just so beautiful to see them dancing around each other and then at the end be blessed with them getting together and being happy” she explained, again with that bright look on her eyes.
“You really love this book don’t you?” he said watching her, closely.
“I do, but I would like to have more books! And not just the romantic ones! There’s this new book, called “The Hobbit”! It just came out and I’m saving money to buy it” she said looking at him with a bright smile.
“What is it about?” Bucky asked, hoping to hear more of her passionate voice.
Right away her face got even brighter as she started speaking “So there’s this magical world...”
The pair spent hours walking around Brooklyn, with her talking about her favourite books and romance in them. And with Bucky absorbing every little information she let slip, loving every second of their conversation.
Soon they stopped as a grunt and a yell could be heard from within one of back alleys. Both their heads snapped to look at each other, as they said at the same time.
Bucky ran in first, with her following him, in her small heels.
As suspected, right there behind a dumpster was laying their best friend as two other men were laughing and kicking him.
She could easily imagine rage on Bucky’s face as he sprinted at one of the men, yelling “Hey, asshole!”
Just as one of the men looked up, Bucky’s strong fist connected with his nose. The man fell down on the ground, screaming in pain with his definitely broken nose. The other man tried to attack Bucky but the brunette dodged and instead landed a punch on the man’s stomach.
She let him handle the men, while kneeling next to Steve.
“Steve? Oh, Stevie can you hear me?”
He groaned and started getting up a bit, with her gentle help.
As Bucky was still trying to beat down the other man, the first one got up with his bloody nose and yelled “You fucking—!”
Before he could continue, she stood up and with a glare swung the hard covered book at his face, hitting his injured nose. He fell down again and cried in pain.
She continued on glaring at him as she said “You try to stand up again and I’ll do worse, you prick”
Suddenly the other man was running at his friend, grabbing him from the ground he half carried him out of the alley.
Bucky stepped towards them, his cheek turning purple as his lip was bleeding. But still he looked at her with soft and concerned eyes “You okay, doll?”
The nickname made her blush as it was the first time that he used it on her. She got a fluttering feeling in her chest that, she read in so many books about.
Was this what she think it is?
Still she answered “Fine, but Stevie—“
“I’m fine... had the situation under control...” Steve mumbled as he was leaning against the dumpster, breathing heavily.
“Like hell you did...” Bucky mumbled tiredly as he moved to check Steve over, with her joining.
Steve’s face was all shades of blue and purple, but there was no serious swelling. His clothes were all dirty and had some rips in them, but nothing that she couldn’t later fix.
“How are your ribs, Stevie?” she asked in worry, moving to swing his arm over her shoulder as Bucky did the same.
“Fine... nothing like how my pride is doing...” he mumbled.
She and Bucky laughed and shook their heads, giving each other a amused look.
“Let’s get you home pal, gotta fix up that pride of yours” Bucky said with a fond grin.
“And your clothes, seriously Stevie I just sewn up these pants yesterday!” she complained.
“Sorry...” he said shamefully.
She just shook her head “I’m just glad that you’re okay”
Bucky nodded “Me too, although you gotta stop this, Steve”
“He’s right Stevie... Bucky is already getting grey hair, he’s not getting any younger” she teased, making Steve laugh and Bucky glare.
“Screw both of you, I’m only 20!” Bucky said giving them a grumpy look.
She and Steve gave each other a look and laughed at their best friend, who was giving them the stare of annoyance.
“Well Buck... you are the oldest here” Steve said, grinning mischievously.
Bucky huffed saying “I ain’t talking to you punks...”
She gasped “Look Stevie! He’s pouting!”
Steve started laughing with her as Bucky glared harder at them, saying “You’re both little shits”
“Pff please, you adore us” she said looking at him with a bright smile.
Slowly Bucky’a glare left his face as he rolled his eyes and grinned “Well... you’re both punks but you’re my punks”
The three friends laughed and made their way to the guys’ apartment. Once there she took care of both Steve’s and Bucky’s injuries.
“You fellas should eat something” she said as she packed her first aid kit.
“I’ll get started on dinner...” Bucky said, moving from the couch but she stopped him.
“You and Steve will rest up. I know that you’re acting all strong and unbothered but you’re hurt Bucky” she said touching his purple cheek gently, wishing that it would just go away “And you have work tomorrow, remember? Fixing up that boat in the docks, you gotta be well rested for that”
He sighed but nodded, watching as Steve was passed out on the armchair. Bucky was moving to cover him with a blanket, but she was faster.
“I said rest up, James” she mumbled and took another blanket to cover him too, as he laid down with a sigh. She covered him and grinned “There you go you stubborn idiot”
Bucky snorted “I am not stubborn”
“Yeah you are, but that’s okay. Stubborn people have better futures ahead of them”
She smiled and fixed his hair a bit “Because they don’t give up and do whatever they can do achieve their goals. Now shut up and go to sleep”
Bucky let out a sudden laugh at her words, making her grin and pat his left arm, before moving towards kitchen to make dinner.
He watched her for a couple of minutes before the tiredness won him over and he fell asleep.
December 1937, Brooklyn.
It was Christmas Eve and she was late.
She had her arms wrapped around the presents she bought as she ran down the street, towards the apartment, she treated like her home.
As she neared the apartment, she made her way into the back alleyway, where the fire escape was. Looking around she noticed that no one was watching, so she claimed on a dumpster and crawled onto the metal stairs.
Slowly she made her way up, trying to be as quiet as it was possible. When she made it to the right window, she knocked hoping that no one would notice her.
The window soon opened, revealing a concerned Bucky. He grabbed her hand gently, saying “Jesus, get inside now!”
She gladly did as he told and sighed at the warmth of the apartment “Oh it’s so nice and warm in here”
Bucky closed the window and looked at her with a frown “I told you to come in normally, doll”
“I know, but we both know that people already talk shit about us. A single dame visiting two fellas everyday and leaving at night... doesn’t look good Buck and you know it” she said for the hundredth time.
But Bucky only glared at her, as he said “I don’t give two shits about what they’ve got to say. What I do in fact care about is your safety, the fire escape isn’t the safest way in here, doll”
She sighed “Let’s leave this conversation, Bucky. It’s Christmas and I came here to celebrate with my two best friends okay? Let’s just have fun tonight”
Before he could argue, Steve peaked inside the room and smiled “Hey! You wanna help me out in the kitchen or will you just stand there like two useless jerks?”
She grinned and walked over to the blonde man, wrapping her arm around him “Of course, we’ll help” then she turned to look at Bucky and smiled at him “Come on, grumpy. We’ve got a dinner to prepare”
“Hey! I’m not grumpy!” Bucky called out as he followed his friends.
Both Steve and her gave him a look, before bursting out laughing.
“Yeah, yeah, come on then Mr. Sunshine” she said with a bright grin, which made him shake his head with a smile.
By eight pm the food was eaten and it was time for the presents. She just finished washing the dishes as the boys were drying and putting the fancy plates away.
“Okay! Let’s open the presents!” she said with a wide grin, pulling her boys over to the couch.
“I’ll go first” Steve said and took two small gifts, handing them to Bucky and her.
She opened her gift to see a miniature painting of the Brooklyn Bridge in winter.
“Oh Steve... it’s perfect! Thank you so much!!” with that she jumped and hugged the blonde tightly.
“No problem, I wanted to buy you something nice but—“
“But this painting is perfect, Stevie! I’ll keep it forever, really. Thank you” she said with a bright and honest smile.
Steve blushed and nodded “Okay... I’m happy that you like it”
“Always, Stevie” she said and then turned to see what Bucky got.
He was just finishing unpacking as he grinned, seeing also a miniature painting but of the park in the summer. Bucky grinned and stood up to embrace Steve.
“It’s just like she said. It’s perfect, thank you pal”
Steve nodded and beamed at both of his best friends, who were still staring at his paintings in pure admiration.
“Okay, my turn!” she said as she put down the painting and moved to grab her bags, just to give them to the boys.
Bucky opened his first, grinning as he saw a beautiful grey-blue tie, that was matching his stormy eyes.
“Woah... it’s beautiful! How did you find this kind of colour?” he asked looking up at her.
She grinned “I was actually, cropping some fancy lady’s ball gown that she bought in France. The colour of the material reminded me of your— I mean you so I used it to make you a tie”
Bucky grinned and jumped to hug her tightly “Thank you, doll. It’s perfect, I love it”
Her whole body burned at his closeness and she hugged him back saying “I love y— em I love that you like it so much”
He pulled away and smiled brightly “Of course I like it! My best girl made it!”
She went red and chuckled, nodding “I’m glad then, hah”
“Em... what’s this?” Steve called out as he watched his gift.
Immediately she looked over to see him holding his present in confusion, she giggled and explained “Well, Rogers. Say goodbye to the news papers in your shoes, because these are special fillings for your boots that I made” both men looked up at her in shock, making her grin brighter “Go on, try them on!”
Steve nodded and moved to try them on, laughing when his shoes were finally fitting him properly. He hugged her closely and thanked her.
Then came Bucky’s presents. Steve got a new sketchbook and two new pencils, while she opened her gift and gasped.
“You didn’t... James tell me that you didn’t!”
Bucky grinned at her and said proudly “I sure as hell did”
Right there in her hands was a beautiful new book, titled “The Hobbit”.
She teared up a bit and jumped into Bucky’s arms saying “Thank you, you have no idea how happy I am”
Bucky hugged her back with a laugh “I could tell by the way you were talking about it, that you really wanted it”
She pulled away and nodded, before looking at both him and Steve with bright eyes.
“How about I read it to you? Would you like to listen?”
The boys eyed each other and nodded as Bucky said “Sure thing, doll”
“Let me unpack my sketchbook, maybe I’ll get inspired to draw something from it” Steve said also in excitement.
Hours passed as she read to them. Steve was curled in the armchair doodling some scenes from the book in his sketchbook, Bucky was laying on the couch with his head on her lap as she read to them.
Soon the morning came and as she finally looked up from the book she smiled, realising that Steve was snoring in the armchair and Bucky was snoring a bit louder on her lap, his face snuggled in her stomach.
She smiled closed the book, putting it away and curling a bit in a more comfortable position as she too fell asleep.
October 1943, Italy.
“Move! Move! Move!” yelled one of the soldiers, as a group of nurses arrived into the camp “No time for day dreaming! These men have been through hell and you’re here to make them better!”
She was already elbow deep in blood, from a man who got shot. She honestly had no idea how he survived the way back to the camp.
“Ouch! You bitch!” he snarled, as she was cleaning his wound.
Pressing the gauze harder than she had to, she said “Shut up, I’m trying to save your leg you imbecile”
“Watch how your—“ the man said, only to cut off as he stared behind her shoulder “Oh, Captain I—“
“I believe that you should be one watching your mouth, soldier” said a deep and slightly familiar voice, from behind her.
Still she dressed the soldier’s wound, while saying to the man behind her in irritation “Okay Captain, I have work to do and I don’t need you to protect my pride”
“I was only repaying for all the times you saved mine”
Immediately she placed his words and familiar voice, turning she looked up, gasping “Stevie?!”
He turned red and nodded “Yeah, that would be me”
She didn’t care that the whole medical tent was watching them, as she hugged her best friend tightly. He gave everyone a look before hugging her back, saying “Come on, there’s a grumpy Sergeant who would also like to see you”
Pulling away and still not processing just what happened to her small/now big friend, she just asked “Bucky?”
With a grin Steve nodded hooked their arms together “Yep, Bucky”
On their way to Steve’s and Bucky’s tent, he explained everything about the serum and what happened in Azzano.
“That’s why I’m here, they transported us here to help out with the injured. But how’s Bucky? Did someone from the medical team see him? And you? Did someone check you out?”
“For the love of God! I’m going to check on Bucky and you in the tent” she said, shaking her head at her friends reckless actions.
Soon they reached the tent and Steve grinned, as he lead her inside. Immediately her eyes found a dirty man, sitting on the cot.
“Bucky!” she said in excitement and ran to hug him.
He jumped at her loud call but as she fell into his arms, he relaxed and smiled, hugging her closely.
“Doll...” he whispered, burying his face in her hair, trying to remember her familiar scent.
She and her perfumes would always smell like home to him.
No matter where or when he was.
“Bucky... oh you stubborn man...” she said pulling away to touch his face, remembering every line and bump.
He grinned “You once told me that being stubborn is a good trait”
She laughed softly and kissed his forehead “I did... and I still think so. But now please let me check your wounds and just look you over”
Although he was scared of someone having access to his body again, without his permission. But as he looked into her beautiful eyes and felt her smell in the air, a bit more than he humanly should, he nodded.
She smiled and then grabbed a nearby medical kit , pointing at Steve “You’re next, you idiot! Don’t think that just because you got big, you can avoid getting treated by me”
Steve laughed “Wouldn’t dream of it”
Bucky looked at them and couldn’t stop his grin as he said to her “You better kick his ass for getting experimented on”
She nodded “Oh, I sure as hell will. Don’t you worry, Buck”
They both laughed as Steve groaned and just like that their family was together once again.
In the middle of the night she sneaked out of her tent, hiding from patrolling soldiers and other men who were still outside.
She was shivering from cold by the time she jumped inside the tent, she was looking for.
“What the—!” Bucky screamed as she jumped and covered his mouth with her hand.
“Shh!! They can’t find me, here!” she whisper yelled, knowing that she’d be taken away for sneaking into another man’s tent.
He nodded, causing her to let go of his face. Frowning at her as he also whisper yelled “I know! What are you doing here?!”
She smiled shyly, whispering softly “I didn’t want you to be alone. Not after what you’ve been through...”
“Shut up, James. Shut up and let someone take care of you, for once” she said sternly, seeing no objections she took his hands and led him to his cot. They sat down and she pulled out her favourite book “Now, I know that you don’t like romance novels, but in the dark it was hard to find another book and—“
Bucky squeezed their joined hand, causing her to look at him with such wide and pretty eyes. He smiled at her, whispering “Anything coming out of your pretty lips is very likeable, doll. Especially when I can hear in your voice, just how much you love it...”
She blushed and did something that her heart was telling her to do, for a long time. Slowly she leaned towards him and kissed him.
Bucky gasped a bit, but soon his hands wrapped themselves around her waist as he kissed her back.
They kissed until their lungs burned and when they pulled away, they could only smile at each other sweetly.
She traced her tingling lips with her fingertips, whispering “It fell nothing like the books said...”
Bucky hummed and took ahold of her hand, kissing her open palm, while murmuring “Was it better?”
“Better doesn’t give it justice... it was like... like... touching the most precious thing in the world. Like touching the brightest of stars and knowing that it’s yours, just like you’re it’s...”
He pulled away from her hand and stared at her with glossy eyes “Oh doll... how did I ever get to have you in my life? I love you so much”
She let out a happy sob and she crushed him into a hug “I love you too, my star...”
The rest of their night was spent in slight darkness and each other arms, as her gentle voice read to him.
Neither of them have ever slept so peacefully in their whole lives.
Funny how they have found their little heaven in the middle of the raging war.
But not for long.
Y/N Y/L/N has been presumed dead not long before James Buchanan Barnes. She was killed in Poland while helping in a concentration camp, her body long lost in the foreign soil much like the body of her beloved, lost in the cold alps.
The last one to fall was Captain Steven Grant Rogers. His own death was a sacrifice for the last place he called home after loosing his family. He chose to save New York, Brooklyn and that little apartment with the fire escape, where she was climbing every evening. Where Bucky would let her in and scold her. Where Steve would watch with a grin and see the love bloom. Where she read her romance novels and Bucky listened.
Where they did not comeback, as only memories remained.
Thanks for reading!!! Hope that you liked it! You can send me a request, but please read this post before you do!!
TW: a bit of violence, death, smut mentioned in the beginning *skip if you’re a minor*
A/N: Hopefully the tags actually work for this chapter but if not, please please please comment and reblog >_< It would mean a lot if people could take the time to. Also I have a taglist for this series so if you want to be added, DM or send me an ask!
WHEN ARE WE
Two weeks after the first shower
“They’re going to put me under cryo freeze soon.”. The asset’s voice is soft, watching as the nurse takes care of his latest wounds. Dislocated his right shoulder and knife wound on his side. Nothing the Nurse couldn’t handle, although, being as gentle as she could. She had convinced one of the agents to get her some ice after popping his shoulder into place. He’s not all too sure how Y/N could get them to actually do as she said, but he figures the thought of him getting involved scared the life out of everyone in the building. As long as the Nurse was somewhat happy, no lives would be threatened today.
A frown forms on her lips, stitching up his wound.Y/N doesn’t respond right away, causing him to wonder what was going on in her mind. However, she finally does speak up when she finishes the last stitch. “How soon?”.
“I don’t know. Probably sometime in the next few days. Wouldn’t put it past them to put me under without saying goodbye to you first. Might be the last time I see you for a while, doll.”. Despite being well aware of her situation, aware that his lover was immune to time itself, the asset still worried that by the time Hydra called for him again...she would be long gone. Not being able to age didn’t mean Y/N couldn’t be killed, whether by accident or by murder. And by some miracle, if the Nurse could escape, she would need to be smart enough to cover her tracks. Had the resources to do so. They both knew that if Hydra couldn’t find her again, they would send him to deal with the problem.
She would need to cover her tracks well enough that even he wouldn’t be able to find her.
Y/N climbs to her feet, picking up the top half of his tactical gear and mentioning her head to the door. Two Hydra agents stand on the other side along with his handler. “Think we should continue this in the showers, Hon. Gotta get all that stuff off ya.”.
HIS MISSION WAS SOMEWHERE IN THE COUNTRYSIDE
Someone had fucked up, causing him and his team to have to take a shortcut through a farm. The Soldat was sure he stepped in cow dung. One of the agents had actually slipped at some point. They all assumed it was mud.
It was not mud.
He was not going to tell her though he was sure Y/N knew already.
A content sigh escapes him as the hot water rains down on him, eyes fluttering shut at the feeling. It’s not before small hands reaching for his lock of hair, massaging his scalp. Neither of them says anything, silently agreeing to enjoy the other’s presence while it lasted. Y/N only had an hour for her showers, and after that, they would drag her off to her own cell. The Asset didn’t want to think about what they planned on doing to her after they put him back in cryo freeze, what they planned on doing once he was no longer around to protect her. Would they let her go, or would they keep her here to continue their experiments? When they brought him back out, would Y/N be a Hydra agent willingly or against her will?
Steel-blue eyes flutter open, watching as Y/N sprays him down with the showerhead. She’s covered in her own bruises and scars, the result of Hydra’s many experiments done on her. Result of the physical abuse she faced. They might go away over time, but it was hard to say; the bullet graze scar was still there after all these years.
Just as she goes to put the showerhead back in its place, the super-soldier gently pulls her closer to him. Ignoring the worried look on her face, the Asset leans down to place a kiss on the bruise making a home on her collarbone. His lips find more bruises as if he was playing connect the dots, thumbs forming circles on her hips. Finally, The Winter Soldier finds her lips and kisses her softly.
“I love you.”.
A small smile is formed on her own, arms snaking around his neck.
“I know. I love you too, Winter.”.
THE NURSE NEVER TOLD THE ASSET SHE LOVED HIM BACK BEFORE. SO OBVIOUSLY, HE WAS A BIT SHOCKED.
Again, the man before her wasn’t actually the Winter Soldier, nor was he Bucky Barnes. Before her stood a man that was somewhat in between, and yet...in this very moment, he was leaning more towards the man she had once loved.
In a quick motion, he has her pressed against the cold metal that makes up the shower wall, her leg hitched to his side, and his metal hand squeezing her thigh. The asset starts at her mouth before gradually moving down her neck and over her collarbone, nipping at the exposed skin. It’s not long before the nurse is fully lifted, legs wrapping around his waist.
Sex and ecstasy fill the shower room faster than the clouds of steam, the two lovers taking a little more than an hour. Not that either of them cared, the Winter Soldier enjoying the new feeling of the woman tugging at his hair. Almost as much as he enjoyed the sounds of pleasure leaving her. They only grow louder with each thrust, forgetting about the agents standing outside the shower room door. The asset leaves the shower with scratches on his back and flesh arm, something the agents are quick to notice as well as the bruises on the Nurse’s neck, shoulders, and various other places.
She doesn’t see him for a few days after that night in the shower, noticing a lot more scientists have been walking around lately. Y/N had also noticed how she was able to walk around the halls freely now as long as she had a guard on her, watching her. It wasn’t until the fourth day Galina brought to Pierce’s office that she found out what had happened to the super-soldier.
“The Asset had been put back into cryo freeze as he completed his mission.”. The man’s back is towards her as he pours to glasses of whiskey. Walking over, he offers her a glass.
She doesn’t take it, not that he blames her. Y/N had been here for almost two months against her will. He would be surprised if she trusted anyone here so willingly. Shrugging, he places the glass on the desk in case she did decide she wanted it. Going to sit at his desk, Pierce leans on the table with his hands clasped.
“I brought you here to offer you a deal, Sweetheart. A bargain.” He motions his head out the window of his office, a view of one of the many labs this place had. “The lab coats down there no longer have a use for you as of now. I’m sure you know more than anyone here that it’ll take time for any sort of progress to make itself known. Until then.” The man takes a sip of his drink.
“You’re free to go. Until we need you again, of course.”.
“.....Are you serious?”. The question causes the man to smile and nod.
“There are agents waiting to fly you home to your apartment as well as a cover story already made up. Last-minute business trip. Oh and don’t worry about your dog, we hired a dog sitter to take care of him.”.
Y/N is hesitant before getting up and walking out of his office. Just like he promised, in a few hours, the Nurse was back in her apartment. Her emotional support dog at the time, Private, was more than happy to see her...but knew something was wrong. The woman stands in the middle of her apartment for a moment before rushing to her bedroom. Luckily, nothing was touched. Or so it seemed. Either way, it was quick to find the dog tags.
Right where she left them.
A single tear runs down her cheek. Followed by a few more. Eventually, her legs give up on her as the woman sinks to the floor. The St.Bernard rushes over to its sobbing owner, making itself comfortable on her lap. But not even her emotional support dog could start the horrible feeling in her chest.
She lost Bucky. Again.
WHEN ARE WE
After Y/N’s much-needed nap
None of the men wanted to wake her up, Bucky having moved her from the couch to the master bedroom
“C’mon, hon. We gotta get moving.”. Someone is shaking her softly while speaking. Cracking opening Y/E/C eyes, she looks up at Bucky who can’t help the small smile on his lips. She sits up and rubs at her eyes, yawning.
“We found out that Donya Madani’s funeral is in an hour. Zemo said we’ve gotta go if we’re gonna make it in time. He and Sam are waiting for us in the other room.”
She looks back at him before hiding underneath the warm blankets, turning her back towards him. “Ten more minutes, then we can pay our respects.”. However, the super-soldier removing the blanket and pick her up, ignoring her squirming as he places her feet first on the floor.
“You’ve been sleeping for the last few hours, Y/N. Though...I don’t blame you, you’ve been up for hours. And your naps only last for thirty minutes, maybe even less than that ‘cuz of your arm.”.
“I have a hard time sleeping without Sergeant.”She mutters softly, following him out of the room. “Got used to his loud snoring.”.
She doesn’t speak the entire walk though...it’s mostly silent anyway. A few words were shared between Bucky and Sam, Zemo would throw a few comments here and there only to be told by the Avenger to shut up. Y/N wasn’t really listening to them speak, trapped in her own thoughts as her mind traveled back to the Sergeant’s unprompted speech as well as Sam’s words that had stuck with her.
Maybe she was blaming herself for his death, put blame on herself for everything he endured under Hydra’s control. And maybe she was trying to convince herself that she didn’t need him to protect her anymore because...because loving her probably did more harm than good sometimes. But she was going to admit that she was being a hypocrite about all this. How could she possibly expect Bucky to cope with everything Hydra made him do when she couldn’t cope with...with the fact that despite all these years, she actually did feel at fault for everything. And that she needed to learn that it was okay to have someone watching her six.
BUT SHE WASN’T GOING TO ADMIT IT JUST YET. IT WILL TAKE A WHILE.
However, Y/n was now seeing how stupid it all was. Justified but still stupid.
“Karli Morgenthau is too dangerous for you guys to be pulling this shit!”.
ALMOST AS STUPID AS JOHN WALKER
“Ah! How’d you find us now?” Bucky calls out, gently grabbing her elbow in a protective manner but notices how her jaw clenched. He quietly had to swat her hand away, noticing how she was slowly reaching for one of her throwing knives.
“Come on. You think two Avengers can walk around Latvia without drawing attention?” the man with John questions as they get closer to the team.
“Right, because your friend screaming his head off like a mad man isn’t making it worse.” The Nurse mutters, arms crossing over her chest. The so-called mad man goes shoots her a dirty look before taking in her features. Despite how pissed he was, the looks in the False Captain’s eyes soften just a little before looking at the Sergeant and The Avenger.
“No more keeping us in the dark. You can tell us why you broke him out of prison and who this woman is.”.
“He did that himself, technically. And who she is doesn’t concern you.”Bucky answers again, putting himself in between Walker and Y/N. His answer doesn’t satisfy him, the blonde getting louder and causing a bigger scene.
“This better be an unbelievable expl-”.
Sam takes control of the situation finally, the Nurse glaring at the man from where she stands behind Bucky.
“You’re gonna let him do this? You’re gonna let your partner walk into a room with a super-soldier alone?” Walker questions Bucky in pure disbelief, judgment clearly in his tone. It was a Y/N turn to take a hold of Bucky’s arm, Y/E/C eyes darkening at the False Captain.
“He’s dealt with worse. And he’s not my partner.”.
“And you.” Walker narrowed his eyes towards our beloved nurse. “Who exactly are you and why are you tagging along with them?”. The Sergeant goes to step in between him and Y/N for the second time but is surprised when she stops him.
“I don’t owe a goddamn thing, dipshit.” The blonde is taken aback by her tone, opening his mouth to say something only for the nurse to tell him to shut up. “Maybe, if you picked up a history book and actually read it all your answers would be answered. If you actually read it, you would know the legacy of that shield and how you’re doing nothing but tampering with it. Fuck, you wouldn’t even have to ask and you could quite possibly be better at your job. But because you not only lack basic brain cells but also know close to nothing about Steve Rogers, I’ll just make your life easy and hand it to you like everyone else around has.”. The Nurse holds out her hand, smiling at him and yet….she looked like she wanted to tear him apart.
“The name’s Y/N Y/L/N, a medic for the Howling Commandos. Would get into the details but it’s clear you have a hard time listening just like how you have a hard time paying attention to your surroundings.” Her head motions to the few people recording them. Just the look on her face causes them to stop recording and keep it moving.
“I’m not entirely sure who you think you’re talking to but in case you need a reminder, Sam Wilson is an Avenger. He not only fought Thanos twice and fought half the Avengers but unlike you, Sam actually befriended two super-soldiers. Enough that your successor gave him the shield Something you could never achieve!”The Nurse pretends to be shocked, Walker visibly closing in on himself as the woman continues to tear him apart.
SAM IS TRYING NOT TO LAUGH.
Bucky is also is trying not to laugh, having seen her go off on Steve before. Hell, he’s been on the receiving end of this before. Zemo is silently wishing he could record this. Even Lamar is snickering behind his friend.
“So unless you decide to save the world from the big three on more than one occasion and then your dumb ass decides to get frozen for 70 years, I suggest you just shut up? Just looking at the de-aged version of Carl from Up makes me lose brain cells.”She winks at him, not helping the small smile at Walker’s clenched jaw. It was obvious he was so used to everyone loving him, praising him for being the new Captain America. But it was also obvious that he was trying to see if her story was true.
Whether he believed her or not, Y/N quite honestly didn’t care. “Now, how about instead of walking around Latvia like a mad man we actually go deal with the problem at hand. Because in case you haven’t noticed, we have some serious shit going on. ”. She then shrugs. “Just a thought, love.”.
Patting his shoulder, the rest of the group follows the young girl Zemo had somehow befriended. The Sergeant can’t help but feel a bit of pride form in his chest, glancing at the Nurse before shyly taking her hand into his. Y/N doesn’t look but still gives his hand a soft squeeze.
WHEN ARE WE
Somewhere in France, 1944
A few days after their fifth mission
“Are you fucking kidding me?”.
Bucky gives her a sheepish smile as Y/N, Gabe, and Monty entire the small campsite the group made, the three have gone out to get water from a nearby river. Mostly to drink but also to cook up their rations as the Nurse figured out how to make them taste a bit more decent. Even more so as she and Steve went out to London one night, buying simple things like pasta and bread. It was probably against the rules but it meant they could all have a decent home-cooked meal.
The Sergeant was on pasta duty. But there was a small fust over the last pack of cigarettes they would have for a while and the boiling pot of water had spilled all over his hand. The moments before their arrival was chaotic.
A LIST OF REACTIONS:
Bucky was screaming in pain
Steve was freaking out, taking one of the tubs of water that was recently brought back. It was the coldest.
Dum Dum forgets about the cigarettes, going to stop Bucky from screaming
Jim and Jacques are crying from laughing so hard
“Don’t call me Doll, Sergeant.” She snaps at him, going to grab her medical kit before taking a seat next to him. Y/N misses the look of shock on all their faces, none of them expecting the harshness in her voice. “I told you that you had a nicotine addiction, told you that you should probably cut back on the smoking. But no! “. The Nurse carefully takes his hand out of the water, drying it off with the cleanest rag before actually applying any sort of medicine to it.
“You knuckleheads decided to goof around over a damn pack of cigarettes. Maybe, just maybe, if you guys just asked if the three of us had any when we got back, I would tell you guys where I put the stash I got us. Not all too sure if I should tell you guys now.” Y/N is now wrapping his hand in a bandage wrap, still grumbling and scolding him. However, Bucky can’t help but look at her with so much love in his eyes. When she looks up, there’s a frown on her lips. “What?”.
“You’re fucking adorable.”.
“You’re an idiot.”. The Sergeant can’t help but chuckle, placing a kiss on the back of her hand.
“But I’m your idiot.”. Y/N rolls her eyes going to fill the pot up with more water. Dum Dum goes with Gabe and Monty to fetch more water, deciding it was his only way of escaping Y/N’s wrath. And also, like the others, he rather not witness the two love birds argue like a married couple.
WHEN ARE WE
John Walk ruins everything
“I don’t like him,” Y/N grumbles, the two walking back from their walk around the city. Bucky had found a nice gelato place on his little excursion. He figured with everything that had just gone down, The Sergeant thought it would be nice to treat her. Zemo had woken up a few minutes after and Walker and Hoskins had to make a call, acting like the good soldier wrapped around the government finger they were. But it was also obvious that she had no problem stabbing the False Captain.
“I know you don’t, Doll. I don’t either.”. Steel-blue eyes land on her, chuckling a little as the Nurse somehow gotten a bit of the dessert on her cheek. He brings his hand up and wipes it away. Y/E/C Eyes land on him now, a faint blush forming on her cheeks. Both stop walking, only a few minutes away from their destination.
THE AURA THEY GIVE OFF CHANGES YET AGAIN
Dark red. A color associated with many things. Vigor. Willpower. Rage. But between them? Longing. Paired perfectly with a lighter red around the rim. Love. The romantic type of love.
For the first time in a long time, something they both believed was impossible at this point in their lives....they felt like the kids they used to be.
A Waitress telling herself not to fall for local dreamboat’s charm, and ultimately failing.
A Sergeant wishing he had the nerve to kiss the girl of his dreams.
“What made you tell John who you were? If you don’t mind me asking.”. The Nurse shrugs, eyes still on him.
“I can’t possibly expect you to cope with everything Hydra made you do when I can’t even come to terms with the fact that...that I’m putting false blame on myself. Maybe I am blaming myself for everything that happened to you...and maybe I convince myself I don’t need you to protect me anymore. I just guess the first part of accepting everything that has happened to me is accepting who I am now? That I’m not my niece or some high school sub named Miss. Benson or any of my alias over the years. I’m just Y/N Y/M Y/L/N, a girl from Queens who joined the Nurse Corps in hopes to bring men home to their families. I need to learn that it was okay to have someone watching my back. And besides...John Walker is clearly too stupid to have recognized me from any photos.”.
Bucky couldn’t help but smile at her, not realizing that he was smiling like his old self. “A pretty name for a pretty woman.”. Y/N couldn’t help but giggle, deciding two can play that game.
“You need to come up with better lines than that one, Sergeant.” And yet...neither of them decide to make their way back to Zemo’s place or, in the Nurse’s case, getting an Uber to the airport. The passport Sam got her to Germany, could get her back home. His flesh hand goes to take hers, softly squeezing it.
“Call me when you get home? And tell Sergeant I said hi.”.
Y/N tangles their fingers together. “Of course.”.
She goes to do just that when she finally makes it back to her apartment hours later. But for an entirely different reason. It was all over the news when she got landed at Newark Liberty International Airport as well as social media. Live footage taken from multiple angles, all capturing the same scene.
John Walker committing a war crime, proving why the Sokovia Accords was created. Ruthlessly murdering someone in broad daylight, ignoring all those recording him. It didn’t matter that the man was a member of the Flag Smashers. He had been screaming that he didn’t do whatever the False Captain was accusing him of. To everyone around the world, he just looked like another person of color getting decapitated by a white American man.
And the shield. That piece of rare metal the Nurse had known for decades, that stood for everything her late friend believed in. Ruined. Stained with blood, a substance Steve never gotten on it before.
HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED WHY STEVE PICKED A SHIELD?
Well, it’s quite simple really, at least to me it was. Steve Rogers never liked bullies. Didn’t care where they came from or what they looked like. Weapons such as guns, knives, and swords all were made to harm. To kill. Like I’ve said before, humans enjoy finding new ways to kill each other. But a shield? Not only could it be used as a weapon...but its main purpose was to protect. Steve Rogers was great because he wanted to protect those who couldn’t protect themselves.
WHEN ARE WE
After Bucky was assumed KIA
She finds the Captain at the bombed-out Whip and Fiddle, trying to get himself drunk despite knowing that the liquid courage had no effect on him. When his eyes land on the Nurse, it’s clear to the both of them that they had both been crying. Bloodshot eyes, the small sniffles coming from the both of them. She knew the details, having been given some of the scientists’ notes.
Without a word, she picks up one of the chairs and sits with him at the table. He offers her the bottle. The woman declines. However, Y/N notices how he’s having a hard time looking at her. Further proving that they were on the same boat. Both blaming themselves. Reaching over for his hand, the Nurse gently squeezes it. It finally gets the Captain to look her in the eyes.
“It’s not your fault.”.
“Did you read the report?”.
“Didn’t have to...I was there, remember. Waiting for you all back at the camp.”. The blonde just nods, using his other hand to wipe away a stray tear. But then those blue eyes land on her hand, heartbreaking as he remembers one of the many promises the Sergeant had made the Nurse. That when they got home, he would get her the biggest ring. And that he would marry her, give her the life she always wanted.
That they would grow old together.
“He never stopped talking about you, you know? After the two of you first met, I mean. Whenever he was bugging you down at the diner, he was with me scheming on how he was gonna convince you to go out with him. I told him he was an idiot for asking you out every day.”.
“It worked, didn’t it?” She offers him a sad smile. But the very thought as a single tear running down her cheek as they fall back into silence. The nurse finds a glass on the ground and Steve pours her a drink. She down’s it in seconds.
“He loved you, Y/N. So much.”.
“And he loved you, Steve.”.
A moment of silence passes through the two, the Captain pouring them another round. “Do...do you think his family got the letter yet? I know it just happened b-”.
“Those types of letters are top priority in getting delivered. So I would say the letter would be getting to the Barnes residence in the next day or so. But I also sent them a letter out, sending them my regards before I can go back in person. Hopefully, I can be the one to give them the folded flag. It...It would be better than receiving it from a stranger. Then again, I guess I am a stranger still.”.
She wasn’t sure if the woman who would have been her mother-in-law would want to see her. It was one thing to lose a husband like her mother did. Another to lose your firstborn.
To lose a husband.
Bucky Barnes would have been her husband.
She would have been Y/N Barnes. The thought makes her down her drink a second time.
They stay there together until Peggy comes, Y/N goes to leave. Not before the agent pulls her into a tight hug. Steve watches her leave, making a promise to himself at that moment. That if he got out of this war alive, he would have her back for the rest of her life. Whatever she needed, he would be there. Just like how Bucky was there for him.
But he was already doing that, whether he realized it or not.
Bucky was always happy to see them interact, to see his best friend and his girl get along. Sure, he knew they had met long before she had met the Sergeant as the two revealed they shared a few classes at school. That Sarah Rogers was actually the woman who taught the Nurse to bake as the older woman also worked at Ma’s Diner.
The Cinnamon Apple Pie was a Sarah Rogers recipe.
But Steve always told himself that he needed to protect her for Bucky. That he brought her to the Howlies for Bucky. But in reality? She had turned their duo into a trio. So upon finding out she had been erased from their history? It took many angry calls to multiple museums. Dug through old archives to find photos of the Nurse, his dear friend. For the next few years, finding time between finding Bucky and dealing with everything, he told her story.
The Nurse hadn’t been to Smithsonian in years, a decade even. But now, the moral of the Howlies had been repainted to include the Nurse, standing right by the Sergeant’s side. Her uniform stands among them now as well a small section of her own, talking about her heroic act. But Steve Rogers didn’t stop there.
By 2024, new history textbooks will now be including her story.
He refused to let her be erased. Not after everything she had done for them. If only he knew she had been alive the entire time.
WHEN ARE WE
Brooklyn, New York 2023
Y/N has just stopped crying
There’s a fairy loud knock on her door, frantic. Getting up from her spot on the couch, the Nurse opens the door with teary eyes only for them to meet steel blue ones. Neither of them has to say anything, Bucky allowing himself inside before pulling Y/N into a tight hug. Soon enough, he’s picking her up and making his way to her room. Sitting down, the Sergeant allows her to just sit on his lap with her face buried into his neck.
He rubs circle into her back,
“Did you eat yet?”. She shakes her head, muttering that she wasn’t hungry. He wasn’t surprised. Side effects of trauma and shock included a loss of appetite. But he was set on making her a big breakfast the next morning as the body would recover from the shock. And her silence didn’t worry him as much as it would have, having seen a familiar behavior after the Battle of the Bulge. And so, he helped her change into pajamas before slipping under the covers with her. The bed was soft. Too soft for his liking but he would make due. His discomfort was nothing compared to her mental state right now.
“I love you.”. The Sergeant doesn’t expect an answer. He just felt like she needed to heat it.
a/n: under the cut because I went ~a little~ overboard
he was definitely raised right and a complete gentlemen
he would always walk you home, the usual for the time doing what his mom had taught him to do when he was with a lady
but bucky wasn’t just a gentleman, he was a hopeless romantic
he would have gone on dates here and there before but he had always been set on a true love, wanting to just find someone who he could see himself spending forever with
so he went on his dates but never courted any girls. it wasn’t that he didn’t want to have a real relationship but didn’t want to settle for courting anyone who he didn’t see himself marrying.
as sad as it was he never saw himself marrying any of those girls so he would go on a date and nothing more with them
bucky, ever the hopeless romantic, was willing to wait for the person he would want to spend forever with
and he did find that person in you when he saw you
instantly bucky just knew that you would be the one so when he was walking down the busy streets of Brooklyn and saw you
maybe you weren’t any more beautiful than the other girls in the city. after all, brooklyn was not short of beautiful girls but to bucky you were something special
a diamond in the rough, if he ever saw one. so when he saw you he stopped dead in his tracks, catching a clueless steve by surprise
whatever bucky had been doing had ceased as he caught your eye and he found himself strolling across the busy road over to you, not caring about the traffic.
steve had called after him but bucky didn’t seem to notice and he make his way over to you. they had places to be, bucky knew this, but he didn’t care. you were the only person on his mind even if he didn’t know your name.
from the very first time you met him, bucky had swooned you. he was confident, handsome, and ever so funny,
there was more to him than that though, you soon learned. not only was he a gentleman and raised right bu his parents, he cared about you.
you could tell how he cared about you how he really listened to you, valuing your opinions and respecting you in a way that the men you had met had rarely done.
it was easy to say that bucky was unlike any other man you had met before
and god, was he a romantic. he bought you flowers before a date - not the red roses all the guys bought but your favorites. you hadn’t even told him that those were your favorite but he knew somehow. he really paid attention to you, that much was certain.
the dates you went on were always simple - the the dinner to shake a shake, grabbing a slice of pizza at your favorite place, or a drive in movie - but it was who you were with that made it special.
it was every time you caught him fond stare, every time he held your hand so tenderly, every time he kissed you like you were his entire world and his stars, that you knew he not only loved you but was different than all the rest.
bucky knew it the frist time he saw you, before he even knew your name, that you were it for him. perhaps you did too because looking at him for the first time you just knew that he was different form all the rest.
all of his actions, his sweetness and caring attitude, showed that he loved you. you were so lucky, this you knew more than anything else in your life.
because of this it wasn’t at all surprising in a way when he got you those flowers you loved more than anything, took you to the first place you had told him you loved him, and got down on one knee and asked you to marry him
and it was certainly no surprise when you said yes, giving him the kiss of his life with the promise of many more to come
Summary: your best friend decides to take a leap of faith and make the most of your last night together before he’s shipped off in the morning
Pairing: 40s!bucky & fem!reader
Warning: 18+ minors dni, unrequited feelings, awkward love triangle, smut, porn with plot, loss of virginity, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex
Word Count: 7,717
His hands hadn’t stopped shaking all morning.
As soon as he’d received the news, it felt like the air had been knocked out of him.
He knew it was going to happen some day, he just didn’t think it’d be so soon.
He’d spent hours getting everything ready for his departure. He packed his bags and picked up his uniform from the tailor. As he made his way through town, all he could think about was you.
He had no idea what he was going to say.
There were a lot of people that would miss him come tomorrow morning, but the person he’d miss most was you.
The thought didn’t linger long. Before he could think of another way to word the sentence that was going to absolutely destroy him, he noticed Steve taking a beating across the alleyway.
As he quickly made his way over to his friend, he knew he’d miss the days that he was around to protect him and wondered, who would look out for him once he was gone?
As soon as you opened the door, your eyes went wide. Both of your friends offered you sheepish smiles, Steve’s more pained than Bucky’s as they made their way past you, inviting themselves in.
Neither one of them said anything as they passed you. They’d been through this routine enough times to know exactly what to do in a situation like this. It was the same thing the three of you had been doing since you were at least twelve years old.
Despite the fact that you’d patched Steve up about a hundred times, and even Bucky once in a blue moon, you were still shocked every time they came to your door with their fresh injuries on display.
The sight of blood had always made you squeamish, but the sight of your friend’s blood made you feel sick to your stomach.
You’d caught a glimpse of the bright red that was trickling from Steve’s nose and you prayed that it wasn’t broken. You may have been capable of disinfecting cuts and applying ointment, but you weren’t a miracle worker.
Bucky had already set out all of the supplies you needed on the coffee table. This wasn’t his first rodeo, either. He’d watched you patch Steve up enough times to know what you’d need to fix him up.
As he pulled the gauze from your family’s first aid kit, he noticed that you were almost out.
You’d meant to buy more, you really did. Your mother asked you about her missing supplies a couple of weeks ago and you lied, telling her that you used them to help one of the neighborhood kids that’d fallen off of their bike.
She believed you, but your father who had overheard the conversation wasn’t buying any of it. He could tell you were lying straight through your teeth.
You promised to replace the gauze that you’d used and your mother let the whole thing go without another word, but your father warned you that he knew how many Band-Aids were in each of the boxes and if even one of them went unaccounted for, you’d be sorry.
Both your mother and father knew what you’d used the supplies for. Although your mother believed the lie you’d told about helping a neighborhood kid, she knew deep down that it was a lie.
They’d come home early one night and found Steve asleep on the couch while you worked on applying disinfectant to the cuts on Bucky’s exposed rib cage.
The two of them had been beaten up pretty badly. The guy that Steve had decided to pick a fight with had a lot of friends backing him up. It was seven to two and they lost miserably.
Your father was outraged to find you tending to a half naked boy in the middle of his living room and immediately kicked both of them out.
That was the night he forbid you from seeing them ever again. He didn’t care if they were your friends or if they didn’t have anywhere else to go. He made it very, very clear that neither one of them were welcomed under his roof.
In addition, he told you that the medical supplies he bought for his family was not to be used on bums that were too cheap to go the hospital. If they couldn’t take care of themselves, they certainly didn’t need your help to do it for them.
As far as he was concerned, his home was not a charity and he was not giving handouts to those less fortunate than he was.
Regardless of whether or not your parents liked them, they were your friends. They always had been and there wasn’t a single thing in the world you wouldn’t do for either one of them.
Using the last of the gauze, you gently pressed them against Steve’s nose, hoping that the slight pressure would stop the bleeding before it got any worse.
Placing your finger under his chin, you tilted his head back and reached for his hand, bringing it up to the gauze that you’d been holding there, letting him take over.
“I think that’ll do it.” Offering him a small smile, you brushed a few stray hairs out of his face.
“Thanks, Y/N.” He tried to smile, but the left side of his face had received a pretty hard blow, making it nearly impossible to do so. There was already the faintest purple bruise starting to form there.
“You’re welcome.” You told him, your eyes wandering to the small cuts on his knuckles. They were already pretty swollen and you could only imagine how much they must’ve hurt. “Let me grab you some more ice.” You offered rising to your feet as you prepared to make your way toward the kitchen when his hand wrapped around your wrist, stopping you.
“That’s alright.” He assured you, rising to his feet as well. “I should be heading home.” Despite all you’d done to help him, you wished there was something more you could do. “See you guys later?”
The question was more directed towards Bucky, who nodded in reply.
“I’ll swing by around seven.” He confirmed before Steve offered you one last wave as a silent form of gratitude as he let himself out.
As soon as the door shut, you felt your breath hitch. The tension in that’d settled in the room was suffocating.
You refused to make eye contact with him. You knew that if you did, you’d lose it. Instead, your eyes remained trained on the floral design that was weaved into the imported area rug beneath your feet.
The intricate design was the only thing distracting you from the inevitable.
His hands still hadn’t stopped shaking.
Steve had made mention of it on the way over to your house and he told him that it was just adrenaline, maybe even a bit of excitement, but that was a lie.
He knew it was his nerves.
His mouth was dry. He had been struggling all day to find the right words to say, but deep down, he knew that there weren’t any. No single word or string of words would be able to convey what he was feeling.
“You got your orders.” You finally spoke, the words nearly catching in your throat as you attempted to break the silence that had settled between the two of you.
You were smart enough to not propose the statement as a question. Especially when he stood before you in his uniform. It was obvious that the day you were dreading had managed to sneak up on you out of nowhere.
You knew that he enlisted. You knew that he enlisted in the Army months ago and that one day he’d get his orders, but you didn’t think it would be today. Truthfully, you didn’t think it’d be anytime soon.
You knew this day was bound to happen eventually, but some part of you still couldn’t believe that it was happening right now.
“I was on my way over when I found Steve taking a beating.” His voice was barely above a whisper as he explained.
You had so many questions. There were so many things that you wanted to ask him, but there was one question that you needed an answer to immediately.
“When do you leave?” With your arms folded across your chest, you asked.
Your eyes finally met his as you waited for an answer. Each second that passed with silence made your stomach churn. It was like you already knew the answer without him even saying it.
“Tomorrow.” He finally managed to get out, tears blurring your vision at his reply. “Y/N, I-“ He took a step towards you, his hand reaching out to touch your shoulder, to comfort you somehow, but you took a step back.
“No, it’s ok, Buck.” You sniffled, shaking free of his grip. “We both knew it was going to happen sooner or later.” His heart continued to break with each word you spoke. “I’ll, uh, I’ll see you when you get back, alright.”
Pressing your lips into a thin line, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him in for a hug. He wasn’t expecting it and as soon as you did, he held you flush against his body.
You trembled in his arms as you tried to hold back your tears. You knew it was selfish to want him to stay, especially when he’d been so adamant about going, but you couldn’t help it.
You loved him.
A few weeks ago, your friendship with Bucky evolved into something more.
For nearly a decade the two of you had been friends. Steve, Bucky and you had been inseparable for as long as you could remember.
Your parents despised the two boys you spent most of your time with. They were convinced that because they weren’t from the same social class as you were that they were beneath you. They didn’t understand why you enjoyed spending your time with them.
What they failed to realize was that they made you happy. Bucky and Steve were the best friends that anyone could ask for. They were both so kind and caring, not to mention protective.
One of you was bound to catch feelings for another and when you were thirteen years old, one of you did.
Steve had asked you if you wanted to grab ice cream with him one day after school. Naturally, you assumed Bucky would be joining the two of you. So, without reading too much into it, you said yes.
To this day you’d never seen Steve smile as wide as he did when you agreed to get ice cream with him.
Later that night when you opened the door and found Steve standing there in his nicest button down holding a bouquet of flowers you knew were way too expensive, your heart sunk.
It became painfully obvious to you that Steve had asked you out on a date and you’d mistakenly agreed.
You loved Steve. He was one of your best friends. You cared for him more than anything in the world, but the love you felt for him was platonic, almost brotherly.
Which was why when the two of you had finished your ice cream that night and made your way back to your house, you were caught off guard when he hesitantly pressed his lips to yours.
You weren’t expecting one of your dearest friends to ask you on a date and you certainly weren’t expecting him to kiss you. It was all too much.
Steve could sense that he’d overstepped and as soon as you pulled away, he apologized profusely.
He explained that he liked you, he really liked you, and he thought that maybe, just maybe, you liked him too.
His feelings towards you were one-sided and in the nicest way possible, you explained that. He understood. He knew that you cared for him dearly, he felt it every single day.
Your kindness was one of the things that caused his attraction towards you. It wasn’t often that someone was genuinely kind to him. Most girls laughed at him, made fun of him and even harassed him, but not you.
You were always a light for him, even in the darkest of times. He clung to that light, hoping that maybe there was something more to your friendship, but he realized that you just had a big heart.
The two of you agreed that you wouldn’t let the lapse in judgement affect your friendship and never spoke of it again.
A lot had changed since then.
A few weeks ago, Bucky just so happened to be in your neighborhood and thought he’d pay you a visit.
For the past few months, he’d been dancing around his feelings for you. He couldn’t help it. You were absolutely incredible and so far out of his league. He was surprised that you even hung out with him and Steve anymore.
You could have any man you wanted, and yet, you spent all of your time with your two best friends.
For the life of him, he couldn’t figure out why.
He fell for you slowly at first and then very, very quickly. It was like one day he just woke up and all of the lingering feelings he had for you had finally accumulated into something bigger than he realized.
He woke up one morning and realized that he was completely in love with you.
Besides the chance that his confession could possibly ruin your friendship, the only thing keeping him from confessing his true feelings for you was Steve.
He knew how his best friend felt about you and it didn’t seem fair to him to make a move on you.
So, he tried his hardest to keep his feelings for you at bay. He found himself burying and denying his feelings until he simply couldn’t take it anymore.
When he walked passed your house that evening, he wasn’t expecting to see your entire family gathered around the dining room table dressed in your finest clothes sitting across from Chief McGown and his son, Billy.
He stopped dead in his tracks, thankful that he was concealed by nightfall so that you and your family couldn’t see him lurking right outside.
You looked uncomfortable as you forced a smile at something someone had said. Everyone else thought it was genuine, but he could tell that it wasn’t.
He watched as Billy reached for your hand across the table and placed a gentle kiss to your knuckles, earning wide smiles from both your parents and his father.
It was only then that he realized what was happening.
Your parents were trying to set you up with the police chief’s son.
Billy McGown was an asshole, but he came from a wealthy family. As much as he hated to admit it, Billy could give you the life that he knew you deserved.
His fists clenched at his sides as he watched the scene unfold before him before finally deciding that he couldn’t keep his feelings a secret anymore.
That night he waited for your parents to go to sleep before he tossed a couple of rocks at your window, hoping to get your attention.
You had just finished wiping the tears from your eyes that were puffy from silently crying, when you looked outside and saw your best friend standing there.
You quickly made your way downstairs and met him in the garden. Before you could ask him what he was doing there, he pressed his lips to your and confessed his love for you.
It was a grand confession, one that had been years in the making. Much to his surprise, you kissed him back.
You were sixteen years old when you first realized that you loved him. It was the way your chest tightened when he spoke to other girls or flashed them a smile. You thought it was just because of the attention he gave them, but you quickly realized it was much deeper than that.
Everything changed that night and you weren’t quite sure where the two of you stood in regards to your new relationship.
“Wait, this isn’t goodbye-“ He let out as you clung to him tighter.
“It’s not?” Your brows furrowed as you met his stare, pulling away from his embrace to meet his eyes.
“Of course it’s not.” He assured you. “I’ve still got about-“ Stealing a quick glance at his watch he added, “Eighteen hours left with you.”
“What are you going to do with them?”
“Let me take you out tonight-“ He offered and you raised a brow.
“I thought you had plans with Steve?” You asked, referring to the conversation that had taken place not ten minutes before.
“I told him that we’d all go out tonight to celebrate before I, you know-“ You were thankful he didn’t say it. You weren’t sure you’d be able to hear him say it out loud without breaking down.
“I didn’t know how to tell Steve about us.” He admitted and something about the way he said it made your chest tighten with guilt. “He’s my best friend, Y/N, and we both know how he feels about you.”
The two of you had never talked about what you were since you confessed your feelings for one another and shared your first kiss.
There was something there, something the both of you were willing to explore, but you weren’t sure how to without hurting one of your dearest friends in the process.
“I just need time to figure out how to tell him.” He assured you. “I promise I will, but until then, I decided to invite Dorris Eckart out with us tonight.”
Dorris Eckart was a few years younger than you. Her older brothers, Tommy and Landon, used to go to school with Bucky and Steve but they’d never been particularly close.
“I heard that she has a crush on Steve so I figured it’d be like a double date.” He answered the question you hadn’t had a chance to ask. “It was the only way I could think of spending my last night with both of you.”
Your heart sunk at his confession. Tonight was really the last night that you’d get to spend with him before he left. You couldn’t believe it.
He waited for you to reply. Your silence was killing him. He knew it was a lot to take in. He was having a hard time wrapping his head around it all himself.
“I can’t believe I’m going to wake up tomorrow and you’re going to be gone.” It was so soft, he wasn’t even sure that he’d heard you at first, but then he saw your lip begin to tremble and he wrapped his arms around you again.
“Don’t think about it, doll-“ He encouraged you sadly as you rested your head against his chest and wrapped your arms around his waist. “Not yet.”
You still had a few hours left with him and you were determined to make them memorable.
With a small sniffle you asked, “What time should I be ready to leave?”
A few hours later you snuck into your parent’s room in search of your mother’s makeup. You rarely ever wore any, but tonight was a special occasion.
Your hair was done up just the way you liked and you wore a dark red dress that would give your parents a heart attack if they ever saw you in it. It was a gorgeous silk material that fell just above your knee with short sleeves and a few buttons down the front. It was shorter than the dresses you usually wore, which was what made it so scandalous.
The only thing missing was a little bit of lipstick and maybe a spritz or two of your mothers perfume.
You carefully searched through her vanity for the shade you were looking for. She didn’t have a lot of lipsticks, or makeup at all for that matter, but there was one shade in particular that you had your heart set on.
It was a deep shade of red, something you’d never seen her wear, something you’d never even consider wearing had it not been such a special night.
When you finally found the brush you needed, you applied the color to your lips carefully before taking one last look at yourself in the mirror.
You couldn’t help but smile at your reflection. You looked absolutely stunning.
The four of you had a wonderful time.
You danced. You laughed. You made memories you’d never forget.
It was better than anything you could’ve ever imagined. You were having so much fun that for a while, you completely forgot about Bucky leaving.
Somewhere along the way, Steve had wandered off somewhere causing Bucky to follow, leaving you and Dorris alone.
“You and Steve make quite a lovely pair.” You complimented Dorris as you took a seat next to her.
“So do you and James.” She replied with a smile, making your cheeks flush.
It was the first time anyone had insinuated that the two of you were a couple and you couldn’t help but beam at her remark.
“You know he really loves you-“ She told you, resting her elbow on the table as she placed her chin in her hand.
“Truthfully, I’m not that fond of Steve.” Dorris admitted with a small sigh, making your eyes go wide upon hearing her confession.
“What do you-“
As far as you could tell, she was having a lovely time. She’d worn a wide smile as Steve twirled her around the dance floor and laughed as Bucky tripped over his own feet.
You wondered why her mood had shifted suddenly once the two boys had wandered off.
“The only reason I agreed to come out tonight was because James offered me five dollars to tag along and keep Steve company.” Not only were you shocked to hear that Bucky had bribed Dorris into joining you for the evening, but you were shocked to hear that he’d paid her so much. “He said that it was the only way he could spend time with you before he left without Steve getting suspicious.” She explained and your chest felt tight. “I feel bad about leading him on, but my family could really use the money.”
You understood why she did it. Although you hadn’t ever had to experience the same struggles she did, it was pretty well known around town that the Eckart’s were struggling financially.
Their father passed last summer, leaving his wife and four kids behind. Five dollars would help them substantially.
You also understood why Bucky did it. He’d put everything on the line so that the two of you could have one last night together.
Despite the good intent behind his actions, you still felt bad for Steve, who had no idea that Dorris wasn’t actually interested in him.
There had to have been another way, another outcome in which Steve also got a happy ending-
“You girls having fun?” Bucky beamed as he rested a hand on your shoulder, pulling you out of your thoughts.
Dorris smiled quickly, sitting up as Steve took a seat next to her.
“Yes-“ She assured him with a vehement nod. “Thank you.”
He checked his watch and felt his chest tighten once he saw how late it was.
“It’s getting late.” He announced and Steve furrowed his brow at his friend’s remark.
“It’s not that late.” He argued, checking his watch.
“I should take Y/N home-“ Bucky insisted, removing his hand from your shoulder as you rose to your feet.
Before Steve could protest, Dorris rose to her feet as well.
“We should probably head out too, I’ve got to get back soon.” She told him, earning a small smile from him as he nodded his head in agreement.
Despite the fact that he wasn’t ready to cut the night short, he wanted to make a good impression on Dorris and didn’t argue.
You said your goodbyes to Steve and Dorris and made your way back home. The walk to your house was filled with silence.
When you were about halfway there, Bucky laced is fingers with yours, but that was it. The silence still followed you all the way home.
It was easier that way.
Ignoring the inevitable was something the two of you had grown used to and if you didn’t have to talk about what tomorrow would bring, maybe it would be easier for both of you to accept.
When you finally arrived home, the lights out front were off. Your parents were out visiting your aunt up north and they wouldn’t be back for a couple of days.
As you and Bucky made your way up the front steps to your porch, you finally let go of his hand to search for the key you’d left hidden under one of the planters.
Once you had the key, you turned to face him, letting out a shaky breath as his frown deepened.
“I guess this is goodby-“ Before you could finish, his lips were on yours, capturing them in a passionate kiss.
Pulling away, you met his stare, “James-“
“Not yet.” He begged you softly, not ready to let you go just yet. “Please, don’t say it.”
It was your turn to catch him by surprise as you pressed your lips to his. His hands rested on your waist, pulling you closer to him as you whimpered softly.
Making quick work of undoing the lock, you opened the door to your house tossing the key inside as you reached for his hand and pulled him in with you.
In the darkness, you navigated your way towards you bedroom with Bucky hot on your heels.
As soon as you were inside, his lips were on yours again.
As he deepened the kiss, a small whimper escaped your lips as his hands continued to explore your body.
You tugged at his shirt, fumbling to undo each button without breaking the kiss until he finally pulled away to assist you.
Neither one of you said anything as you rid yourselves of your clothes. The small smirk that threatened to spread across his swollen lips was mesmerizing and made you impossibly wetter as you finally removed your dress, standing before him in nothing but your bra and panties.
Once the last button on his shirt was finally unbuttoned, he shrugged the material off his shoulders and shifted his focus back to you.
With a small groan, he took in every inch of exposed skin. It was something he’d always imagined but never thought he’d actually ever get to see in person.
“You’re beautiful-“ He let out, before cupping your face again and pulling you in for another heated kiss.
The feeling of his fingertips exploring your exposed skin sent a shiver down your spine as he gently nudged the strap of your bra off of your shoulder.
“This ok?” He asked, resting his forehead against yours as you nodded eagerly.
Bringing your hand up to the other shoulder, you removed the other strap, silently encouraging him to do the same.
No one had ever touched you liked he had. No one had ever touched you, period. The feeling of his gentle touch on your body was electrifying.
“God, Y/N-“ Tugging his lip between his teeth, he couldn’t help but groan once your bra had fallen to the floor.
“Touch me-“ You begged him, taking his large hands in yours and gently placing them on your breasts. “Please?”
Obeying your request, he gently kneaded your breasts, the pad of his thumb brushing over your erect nipple. You flinched at the contact, a small moan escaping your lips as he rolled your sensitive bud between his fingers.
“B-Buck-“ You stammered as he placed sloppy, open mouthed kissed to your neck.
“You’re perfect.” He whispered against your skin, sucking softly on a spot right beneath your jaw. “My perfect girl.”
Hesitantly, he lowered his hand as he continued to nip at your collarbone. His hand traveled lower and lower until it found its way between your thighs.
He could feel how wet you were through your panties and felt his cock grow harder as you whimpered at the contact.
“Tell me if you want me to stop, alright?” He told you and you nodded.
“I want you-“
As soon as he had your consent he guided you towards your bed, gently pushing you back.
“Lay back for me-“ He instructed lowly and as soon as you did, he slowly slid your panties down your thighs.
He peppered your inner thighs with kisses as he got down on his knees and gently spread your legs apart.
You expected to feel vulnerable in front of him, but you didn’t. You trusted him.
With one hand resting firmly on your hip, his other ran a finger through your folds, coating it in your juices.
His chest swelled with pride, knowing that he was the one that had made you this wet.
“This might feel a bit uncomfortable-“ He warned as he pressed a finger inside of you, a small gasp leaving your lips as your back arched at the intrusion.
He waited a minute, allowing you to adjust before you encouraged him, “Move.”
The noises you made were heavenly. Better than anything he could’ve imagined. As much as he wanted to take his time with you, he wasted no time building up a pace that had you withering beneath him.
“Feel good?” He asked with a cocky grin as a breathy moan left your lips.
“S-So good-“ You hummed. “More-“
As per your request he added another finger, keeping the same pace he’d set that had you seeing stars.
“Right there, Buck-“ You cried out, arching your back as he thrust his fingers deeper inside of you, causing you to instinctively grind against his palm.
“Wanna try something-“ He said, removing his fingers from your body as your pussy clenched around nothing.
You nodded, silently giving him permission as he licked a long strip up your slit, sucking softly on your clit. His eyes never left yours as he continued to swirl his tongue around your sensitive nub.
Resting his forearm across your waist, he held your hips down as they bucked forward.
You wove your fingers through his hair, tugging softly, causing him to moan out against you.
Replacing his tongue with his fingers, he rested his head against your thigh as he looked up at you, your eyes screwed shut in absolute bliss as he continued to bring you closer to your climax.
He knew you were close, he could feel your walls squeezing him as he continued finger fucking you through your first orgasm, his lips wrapping around your clit again and sucking harshly, causing a wave of pleasure to wash over you.
“I know-“ He encouraged you as your eyes rolled back and your back arched. “Cum for me.”
Your legs shook as you came around his fingers, earning a moan from Bucky who watched you soak his digits before licking them clean.
As you recovered from your first orgasm a small sheen of sweat covered your brow, your chest rising and falling rapidly trying to catch your breath as Bucky made quick work of unbuckling his pants.
The sound of his belt hitting the floor caught your attention. Sitting up, you watched him slide his trousers off until he was stood before you in nothing but his boxers.
The thick outline of his cock pressed against the thin material made your breath hitch. You thought he’d be big, but you had no idea he was as big as he was.
Tugging your lip between your teeth, your eyes met his returning the hungry stare you’d been giving him.
You crawled forward as he took a step closer to the bed and reached out to palm him. He whimpered at the contact, his eyes rolling back as your fingertips ghosted over the waistband of his boxers.
“I wanna taste you, Buck-“ You let out breathlessly.
“No, no, no-“ He groaned, wrapping a hand around your wrist, halting your motions. “Tonight’s about you, love. Besides, I’m not going to last long-“
As you settled back on the bed he rid himself of his boxers before he hovered over you, searching for any last signs of resistance before he lined himself up with your entrance and slowly pushed into you.
You whined as his cock stretched you out and he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. Wrapping your hands around his shoulders, you clung to him as his palm laid flush against your hip, pulling you impossibly closer to him.
“More-“ You begged, each slow thrust making you cry out until his cock bottomed out inside of you.
The pace he set was gentle, almost torturous and it wasn’t long before he had you seeing stars.
“You like that, doll?” He mused, feeling the way you clenched around him as he proposed the question.
He could tell you were close. He was too. One hand cupped your face tenderly while the other slipped between your thighs and started rubbing circles over your clit, causing you to arch into him, taking him deeper.
The new angle made your toes curl as his pace quickened.
“Come on, Y/N-“ He urged you as he worked his fingers against your clit. “Cum for me.”
You gushed around his cock as your body seized up, your second orgasm of the night washing over you as his thrusts became sloppier and his grip on your hips tightened.
Before he could finish chasing his high, he pulled out and with a loud groan he wrapped his fist around his cock.
With a few strokes, he was cumming across your stomach, his eyes fluttering shut as small grunts left his lips and he covered you in his seed.
As you came down from your high, he pressed another kiss to your lips. While you continued to try and catch your breath, he grabbed a wet cloth from the bathroom and cleaned you up before he settled in bed besides you, pulling the sheet over you both.
You wrapped your arms around his waist and rested your head against his chest, a small smile on his lips as your eyes met his.
Your hair was matted to your forehead. Your lips were swollen and your eyes were glazed over, but he still thought you were the most beautiful woman in the world.
Running his fingers through your hair, you let out a soft hum. When you finally caught your breath, you turned to face him.
“I wish you didn’t have to go.” You let out softly, his fingers stilling for just a moment before he let out a deep sigh.
“I know, doll.”
A couple of weeks ago, Bucky was ready to risk his life for his country. He thought that fighting in the war would give his life purpose and meaning. What he failed to realize then was that his life already had purpose and meaning, he already had you.
He wasn’t ready to leave you behind.
With every minute that passed he could feel his lip begin to tremble just a bit more as he thought about leaving you in the morning.
He wasn’t ready.
He never would be.
If he could go back in time and stop himself from enlisting, he’d do it in a heartbeat. Instead of going overseas, he’d get a job, probably working in a factory or construction, and he’d work hard every day to give you the life that he knew you deserved.
He knew that he’d never be enough for you in your parents eyes, but that didn’t matter, as long as you’d have him, he’d go to the ends of the earth for you.
He used to think that you deserved better. He used to think that you should be with someone who came from a good family and could give you a nice house and all of the riches you desired until you chose him and made him realize that he could be the man to give you those things, regardless of his social class.
He’d work hard to be with you because you were worth it.
“What if I went with you?” You proposed, interrupting his thoughts as you suggested the question hopefully. “Maybe I could volunteer to be a nurse, or something, and I could-“
The thought alone brought a smile to his face.
Ever since you were kids you’d been patching him up whenever he got into trouble. It was in your nature to care for others.
From every minor scrape he sustained during his childhood to every scar he earned fist fighting his way out of a brawl, you were the one that helped put him back together again.
It was strange to think that in a couple of days, that responsibility would fall onto someone else.
“If you came with me, who’d look after Steve?” He chuckled lightly and although he’d laughed, you could hear the sadness in his voice.
You knew that you couldn’t follow him. Despite how much you wanted to, you knew that it wasn’t possible.
No matter how much your heart wanted to be with him wherever he was, you knew that it wasn’t meant to be.
“I promise I’ll write you every day.” Interlocking your fingers with his, you vowed.
He didn’t have to tell you that he’d write when he could. You already knew that he would.
Silence settled between the two of you again. It wasn’t that the two of you had run out of things to say, there was just so much that you wanted to say to each other and not enough time to say it.
It was easier to enjoy each other’s presence in silence and savor the moment, instead of worrying about what would come next.
From where your head was resting on his chest you could hear his heartbeat pick up and before you could make mention of it, he shakily let out, “I’m coming back to you, Y/N. I promise.”
Snuggling further into his side, you smiled.
“I’ll be waiting.”
He held you impossibly closer to him, afraid to let you go. Your body fit perfectly against his and he was afraid that he’d forget the feeling of you wrapped in his arms if he didn’t embrace it all right now.
“The day I get back I’m going to ask your father for your hand.” He let out suddenly, pressing a kiss to your forehead and your heart skipped a beat.
Your relationship was still so new, so fresh, but part of you always knew that the two of you would settle down together.
The two of you were always more than just friends.
It was always Bucky. It always had been and it always would be.
“Well, it’s not really his decision, is it?” You smiled up at him and he couldn’t help but chuckle softly at your remark.
“I suppose not, but it’s the right thing to do.”
The thought of Bucky asking you to marry him made you feel like you were floating. Your heart soared at the thought, a few tears threatening to spill from the corner of your eye and onto his chest as you imagined him down on one knee.
“I’d say yes, you know?” You told him. “Regardless of whether or not he does.” Bucky swore his heart almost stopped at your confession and he was positive it did when you added, “You’re my forever, Buck.”
“God, I love you.”
It was the first time he’d ever said those words out loud, even though both of you knew he’d always silently meant it.
“I love you too.” You told him as your eyelids grew heavy with sleep.
You’d been fighting the urge to sleep for hours, but you weren’t ready to fall asleep yet. Not when you knew that the man that you loved would be gone in the morning.
You forced yourself to stay awake, your eyes slowly fluttering shut as your breathing fell into a steady pattern.
Bucky knew that you’d fallen asleep.
If the soft snores that left your parted lips weren’t a dead giveaway, the way you loosened your grip around him was.
Unlike you, he was having a hard time falling asleep. His mind was going a million miles an hour, thinking about everything and anything all at once.
He couldn’t wait to come home to you. He hadn’t even left yet and the only thing he could think about was coming home to you.
He knew that when he left his life would change forever and although he wasn’t sure if he was ready for a change that drastic, he knew that he’d be willing to endure such an undesirable thing if it meant that once everything was all said and done that he got to come home to you.
You were his everything.
In the weeks to come, you’d be the face he’d see when he was on the verge of losing it all. Knowing that you were waiting at home for him would be the only thing that motivated him to persevere.
You’d become the only thing that would get him through it all.
He couldn’t wait to start his life with you. He could see it all so clearly when he finally closed his eyes.
He saw a small, but cozy, home, one that would need a lot of work and a lot of love, but one that was yours.
He saw children, two or three that looked just like the two of you that called him dad and made him feel like the luckiest man in the world.
He saw you, a little older, but with the same smile you’d always worn whenever he was around as you embraced him before pressing a chaste kiss to his lips.
He saw a future better than anything he deserved, better than anything he could’ve imagined.
But before he could come home to you, before he could start his life with you and make his dreams a reality, he’d have to leave.
In less than six hours he’d be shipped out with the rest of the 107th and would be forced to leave you behind.
As he snuggled closer to you, a small groan leaving your lips as he draped his arm over your waist he wished that time would stop completely.
If the last thing he ever got to do or ever remembered doing was holding you in his arms, he’d be content with that.
The next morning you woke to an empty bed.
Sunlight was just starting to seep through the curtains and when you opened your eyes to find that you were alone, your heart sunk.
Your bedsheets still smelled like Bucky, the faint scent of his cologne the only reminder of your night together.
Had it not been for the smell that lingered reminding you that the previous night wasn’t a dream, rather something that had actually happened, you wouldn’t have believed it.
You didn’t want to wake up.
You didn’t want to wake up and you didn’t want to get out of bed because you knew that he was gone and that he wasn’t coming back.
A few tears started to blur your vision as you forced yourself to sit up, wrapping the thin sheet around your naked body as you brought your knees to your chest.
You couldn’t believe that he was really gone.
Part of you hoped that he’d come knocking on your door any minute all beaten and battered asking for you to fix him up, but you knew that wasn’t going to happen.
You didn’t notice it at first, but on your bedside table there was a small box and an envelope.
As you dried your tears and reached for them both, you slowly opened the letter that Bucky had left behind for you.
You clung onto every word. Every messy scribble made your heart skip a beat and it wasn’t until you were about halfway through reading the letter that your mouth hung open in shock.
The small box that accompanied his first of many letters to you held his mother’s wedding ring. It wasn’t much, but it was his most prized possession and although he feared that the stone in the middle wouldn’t be big enough or that it didn’t shine like it used to, you thought it was the most beautiful ring in the entire world.
He asked you to keep it safe for him until he came back. He offered it to you as a promise, a promise that one day he’d come home, that one day he’d come home to you and give you the life that you’d always dreamt of.
He knew that even if he didn’t make it home, even if some horrible turn of events prevented him from making it out alive, that he wanted you to have her ring.
He planned on giving it to you in a few years, anyway.
It was always meant to be yours.
As you picked up the delicate ring and slipped it on your finger, you couldn’t help but let a few tears roll down your cheeks as you smiled.
The ring that you proudly wore on your finger was a reminder that Bucky was coming home and that one day the two of you would live the rest of your lives together.
It was nothing more than a simple band and a stone, but it gave you the strength you needed to know that you were going to be ok and that you could make it through this.
Outside, birds started chirping happily as the sun continued to rise. It was a beautiful morning and as you finished reading the letter that was left behind by the man you loved, two things became even clearer to you; everything was going to be alright, and you couldn’t wait for Bucky to come home.
Tagging a few angels I adore: @blissfulparker @celestialbarnes @buckyblues @fallinforevans @buckycuddlebuddy @reidsconverse
Okay but honestly, am I the only person that wants to see Bucky in his Sergeant uniform before he's shipped overseas from the first Cap meeting again??? Because hot DAMN yes please, like I feel like the uniform is in the museum or in storage or his sister had it all these years or something and idk how they would put that it the show or movies but I wanna see him in it again. Ya know. FOR SCIENCE. 🥵😏
I literally watch The First Avenger, like, every other week because I need a dose of pre War Bucky in my life to keep me happy! I also LOVE writing for him! It's one of my favorite things!