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mionemymind · 9 days

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Chapter 3: Choosing for You

My Rival Series

Series Summary: The time where Y/n Y/l/n and Wanda Maximoff were academic rivals that fell for each other.

Chapter Summary: The competition is here. Who will be the winner?

A/n: This was a long chapter, honestly might rewrite it, but here it is with all its mistakes and glories. And I'm sorry if you've asked to be tagged and wasn't included in this post, I'm posting this from work because I promised to give y'all something. (Gif credits to @elizabetholsens)

Warnings: Rivals to Lovers, Obvious Feelings, Stubborn Reader, Cursing, Alcohol, Mentions of Puking, Memory Loss, Panic Attack

Word Count: 7.2k

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 |

Fall Semester - Freshman Year

“Why does winning matter so much to you?” Winning hardly had rewards in life. Sure, there was sometimes money involved on the line but other than financial gain, winning was mainly there to feed the ego. For Natasha, she never viewed Y/n as someone that cared about being number one in life. Based on the few phone calls she overheard, the university felt like a getaway from troubles at home. So why did Y/n even want to win?

The brown eyed girl sat in confusion. Her pencil was still as she wracked her brain for an answer. By all means, winning is fun. Back in high school, Y/n would naturally win things that being number one felt like home at that point. But having moved on from that mentality, winning wasn’t quite the same in Evergreen University. Well, it’s not like she had a chance to feel it when Wanda Maximoff was around.

“If I’m being honest…I don’t think I’ve ever worked for a win in my life before.” The two locked eyes as Y/n softly confessed what was long on her mind. She placed her pencil down and gave Natasha her undivided attention. “Studying has never been my thing before up until now. Don’t get me wrong, I quite hate it, but it feels different now. Like if I just beat her once, then that high will be like nothing ever before.”

“Does she really challenge you that much?” The question sunk into Y/n’s brain and into her deeper subconscious. She sat quietly, overthinking her answer.

“I think…she’s the only one that ever challenged me at all.”

Competition Day - Spring Semester - Junior Year

‘Why does winning feel so wrong?’ Y/n looked in the mirror, splashing small bits of water on her face to help wake herself up. Rolling her neck, she could feel how stiff her bones were from last night. Unfortunately, the bus was no help at all, only providing mild comfort on their four hour journey.

Stepping out the bathroom, Y/n wore the tightly pressed and cleaned uniform as Wanda started her speech for the group. “I want to thank you all for joining us today at this competition. For some of you, this is your first time ever attending the conference while for others, you are returning. Regardless, you’ve all earned your spots on this team, so congratulate yourself for that.”

A couple of applauses were heard as Wanda smiled at the team. She briefly glanced to Y/n who was sitting all the way at the back of the bus. “I know that this bus is carrying some of the brightest minds that Evergreen University has to offer. Without a doubt in my mind, I know we can win this competition.”

Y/n looked away to the view of the hotel where the conference took place. The turmoil in her gut was hard to ignore as she focused on other things besides Wanda’s eyes. ‘Winning is a must. If I want to come back to her here, then I need to win.’

“However, winning is not always the priority. Overall, I’ve been more than happy to see everyone grow into their strengths and even improve your weaknesses. Your efforts have been highly noted by both of your captains.” Y/n looked back at Wanda, her stare as confident as ever.

“We want to thank you all for all the nights, practices, and energy you’ve committed to be in this competition.” Wanda looked over as the bus entered the garage of the hotel. “Okay, everyone come in for a quick send off.”

Everyone gathered into a huddle, placing their hands in the middle. “On three - one - two - three - Evergreen! Fight! Fight! Fight!” Their hands lifted into the air as Wanda looked at Y/n with a determined smile.

‘I’m going to win.’ The brunette thought as she stared into those brown eyes, but little did she know the costs of this win.

The hotel was massive. It was honestly a surprise at how many schools can fit into one place. Some had to fly in, having been more than five hours away. The group followed Wanda to the selected tables meant for Evergreen University.

“Break into your groups, Y/n and I will be investigating the brackets to see who we will be versing first. We have about an hour before round one is officially called. If you need to change or use the bathroom, this is definitely the time to do so. If you have any questions or concerns, please let Y/n and/or I know immediately.”

Doing as told, the members immediately broke into their four person group and discussed strategies for round one. When no one came up to ask any questions, the pair walked off out of the conference room, and into the large hall that had many posters hung up with all the different brackets.

There was a small but comfortable silence as Wanda walked slightly ahead from Y/n, focusing on finding out who they were versing first. While Y/n was also thinking of the competition, she wondered if they were ever going to talk about last night.

Walking up to the first bracket they could find, Wanda took a picture of it and sent it to the math club group chat for everyone to see. “Princewell University, Maroon State College, and Gale College, not a bad start. Looks like we’re going to easily make it into the second round.”

Since Y/n was unable to sleep last night, she made use of her time by looking over the bracket. Going over the many possibilities, there was still a high chance of her group making it to the top five. Round one was thankfully full of easy opponents having judged their previous matches with other schools.

“I agree. Looks like our main trouble is with Harford University. But they’re all the way at the otherside. I’m hoping Legacy College takes care of them so we don’t have to,” Wanda comments. She turned to face Y/n, taking a good look at her clean uniform and brushed hair.

“I need you to be on your A-game today.” Unsure of where Wanda’s seriousness was coming from, Y/n nodded in understanding. “If you can give me that, I’ll overlook this morning.”

Puzzled by her statement, Y/n asked, “What are you talking about?” Wanda crossed her arms, trying her best to be level headed at the moment.

“You wreaked alcohol. Last night was a supposed to be a get together, not an opportunity to get drunk.” The judgment coming from Wanda’s tone felt like a slap in the face as Y/n took one step back.

“Are you kidding me? I took one drink. I wasn’t the one that was drunk last night. Are you seriously remembering the same night as me?” The small moment with Wanda was all that Y/n replayed in that moment.

‘Apologize and I’ll forgive you for everything - apologize and I’ll let go of this whole feud.’ Whether Y/n was going to loudly admit it or not, the small ounce that she saw of Wanda’s true personality changed her view of the brunette. Even if the conversation was small, even if Wanda didn’t hear her response, even if it was a drunk confession, Y/n was going to cling to it.

Wanda was always the girl that was number one but in that small moment, Wanda was just a girl who wanted to win for the sake of not disappointing her father. Because God, how could someone ever be disappointed in Wanda Maximoff? And how could they not see just how amazing she was?

But as Wanda rolled her eyes, and hardened her stare, Y/n knew none of that moment mattered to Wanda, not when her green eyes still showed some form of hatred. “I remember last night clearly. Everyone in the group arrived and managed to say check in with me. You were the only one in the group that I didn’t even get to see. Once it was late, I went back to my dorm and slept. But it’s obvious why you avoided me - you were too busy drinking rather than focusing on the competition.”

“That’s not-”

“I don’t want to hear your explanation. Your team deserves a good leader and if you can’t provide that, I’ll make sure that math club will be looking for a replacement captain next semester.” The pounding in Wanda’s head was hard to ignore as she walked away from Y/n, not even bothering to hear her side.

‘Focus. Everything will be alright if you just focus.’ The ringing in Y/n’s ears was louder than the judge in front of her. The question left his lips almost slipped past the girl but thankfully her teammate, Luke, was paying attention, easily answering the question.

“Another point for Evergreen University, which solidifies their victory for this match!” Cheers erupted from the crowd as each group got up, giving the other members handshakes for the great match.

‘I can’t fucking focus.’ Y/n wore a fake smile as she congratulated the other captain on the team, quickly walking off the stage. Ever since her interaction with Wanda, her nervousness and anxiety came back in full throttle. Her mind went from completely tired to panic. And while her drive to win increased, it came with overthinking as well.

“That was a great match everyone! I’m so proud of you all for being so great for these four rounds that I haven’t had to worry one bit.” Well Y/n did worry, just not for her team’s sake. “I’m going to go ahead and let the staff know about our victory. In the meantime, go ahead and relax at our table. After the fifth round, let me know if y’all want snacks. I can go ahead and purchase them for everyone.”

“Thank you Y/n. We appreciate it!” Luke stated, he was a returning member of the competition, one that Y/n knew well. Letting the group walk away, Y/n finally brought her guard down as she walked out of the conference room and to the direction of the staff booth.

‘I can’t believe I fucking froze.’ Y/n knew the question was for her, yet she had to rely on her team member for something she could’ve easily answered. Wiping her frustrations off her face, Y/n tried to compose herself before she approached the staff.

“School, team, and placement?” The lady wore rectangle shaped glasses. She offered Y/n a kind smile, ready to write the results.

“Evergreen University, team two, and we won our match.” Y/n peeped her name tag, Laura, as she wrote down the results.

“Looks like you’ll be versing Apollo College next in conference room seven.” Laura handed Y/n a slip of paper with the information before calling next.

Shoving the paper in her pocket, Y/n walked past several conference rooms, their doors open for anyone to watch their matches. None of them interested her, but her voice certainly did. Stopping at the entrance of the doors, Y/n watched Wanda flawlessly answer the question.

The bright light focusing on her group amplified her natural beauty. Y/n could pick up on every single detail, something she already knew like the back of her hand. Her jaw clenched as she noticed Wanda's smile, the same type of smile she had when she got hundreds on tests.

The anger inside Y/n manifested once more. She could legitimately feel herself start to boil the more she stared at Wanda. It was dangerously coming close to the anger she felt when she lashed out at Natasha that one night.

Clenching her fists, Y/n walked away from the match, unable to stand Wanda any further with thoughts of winning in her mind.

‘You’re making mistakes.’ Wanda stood in the crowd with her arms crossed. The displeased look on her face was hard to miss as she witnessed Y/n make her third mistake of the match, causing another precious point to be missed. Her brain rushed through many thoughts of disappointment towards the girl she used to hold to a high regard.

‘This isn’t like her.’ But the frown on Wanda’s face deepened, did she really know Y/n at all? Yes, she can admit that Y/n was smart. Smarter than a lot of people at their university. But other than that obvious characteristic, Y/n was admittedly someone she only knew at surface level. They’ve hardly spoken outside classes or math club. Essentially, she was just a stranger that was smart.

Shaking away the sadness that was snaking through her, Wanda watched as Y/n sat back in her seat.

The shame that Y/n carried on her shoulders felt massive along with the anxiety that continued to paralyze her more and more. The brown eyed girl was certain of her answer, so when the judge loudly announced that she gotten it wrong, embarrassment flooded her senses knowing that Wanda was in the crowd, silently judging her every move.

It all came down to the final question of the match. Whoever answers correctly will have to verse Wanda’s team. Luke, once again, got up, ready to answer the question. All eyes were on him besides Wanda and Y/n.

As the two finally locked eyes, Y/n couldn’t help but drown further in Wanda’s rage. ‘Forget everything I ever said - I do fucking hate you, Wanda Maximoff. And I hope you never forget that.’

-------------

“We need to talk.” Celebrations for Evergreen University were deaf to Wanda’s ears as she held Y/n’s wrist. Quickly, she led them out the crowd and through the near empty hallway outside the conference room. Dropping her wrist, Wanda stood there fuming with anger.

“What was that?” Y/n didn’t want to speak, unsure of what would be the ‘correct’ choice of words for the brunette. And by the looks of it, nothing was going to satisfy her. Choosing to be silent anger Wanda ever further.

“This isn’t the time to be childish - you’re making mistakes and if it wasn’t for your team, you wouldn’t have had this spot in the finals.” Y/n clenched her jaw as she bit her tongue. Sure she made mistakes, but it hurt Y/n to realize that Wanda didn’t even care for the ways she did contribute to the team.

Mistakes were permanent for the girl that was always perfect. That was something Y/n realized now more than ever.

“Can you not let go of three mistakes, Captain?” Y/n continued to stare off at the other side of the hallway, refusing to make eye contact with Wanda. Her words sneered off her mouth, feeling disgusted at the way Wanda ridiculed her every move.

“Un-fucking-believable. Dean Holloway was right.” At the mention of the Dean, Y/n’s blood ran cold. Her eyes locked with Wanda’s, as the brunette stood there. “You take everything as some type of joke. And to think I stood up for you.”

Y/n’s mind scrambled on what possibly happened between Dean Holloway and Wanda. ‘Does she know about my scholarship?’

But why on Earth would Wanda assume such things if she knew about her scholarship? Pressing for more information, Y/n asked, “What did he say?”

Wanda rolled her eyes. ‘Of course that’s what she would focus on rather than her own mistakes.’ Looking at the time, there were twenty minutes left before the final. The brunette should have been using this time to help practice with her team, yet here she was arguing with Y/n.

“Last week,” Wanda sighed. This all felt pointless to admit but she felt that Y/n needed to know. Maybe this could be what straightened up her act. “Dean Holloway asked me to reconsider your place in this competition.”

“What?” Y/n took a step back at the confession, feeling more hopeless at how rigged everything was. ‘How could he do this to me?”

“I told him that I could trust you - that you were the only person besides me adequate enough to lead the math club. Somehow, he managed to let me know that you were slipping in classes. No longer being at the top.” Wanda looked at Y/n. She focused on all the minor details of the face that haunted her mind. But upon seeing how hurt those brown eyes looked, Wanda couldn’t help but falter slightly.

“I wanted to believe that it was all wrong, but now…” Y/n silently pleaded as her mind went into overdrive. Couldn’t Wanda see how innocent she was? How she had been studying day and night for weeks just to make it another year at Evergreen? Couldn’t she see that this was all for her?

“I think we should go back to our groups. We need to prepare for the final. But Y/l/n…after this competition, we might have to reconsider your place as captain for math club.”

How cruel the world must be for the universe to deal Y/n such a bad draw? And how awful it must feel to know that Wanda was the one that delivered the final blow?

‘I have to win for me.’ Water dripped down Y/n’s face as she stared at herself in the mirror. There was five minutes left before she was expected to take the stage. Currently, Y/n was in the bathroom, hoping to subside the panic attack that was itching to come out.

‘Even if the school doesn’t want me, even if Wanda doesn’t want me, I want this more than anyone.’ Gripping the counter for stability, Y/n slowed her breathing down, hoping it would be enough. She wasn’t going to let the world decide her fate even if it had cheated her of a fair opportunity.

“Welcome everyone for the final match for the annual math club state competition. I’m thrilled to announce that this year’s top two teams both come from Evergreen University!” Applause rumbled throughout the large conference room as the rest of the school's watch in anticipation.

Wanda sat in her seat, overthinking her conversation with Y/n earlier. ‘Did I go overboard?’ Sneaking a glance at Y/n, it was hard to get a read of what the brown eyed girl was thinking. ‘Whatever, she needed to know.’

Pushing her thoughts to the back, the brunette focused back on the competition. It was finally her turn to go up as well as Y/n’s.

“Please find the inverse of the following equation.” Like a switch, everything in Wanda’s mind grew silent as she focused on the question on the screen. In seconds flat, she hit the buzzer to submit her answer.

“And the correct answer choice was…C, point goes to team # 1.” This was Wanda’s element - this was her reason for being. Glancing at Y/n, Wanda knew her purpose. She was number one and god forbid anyone that stood in her way.

The competition went by like a blur. In the first quarter of questions, Wanda’s team led with a gap of seven points. However, after a couple small mistakes by her team members, Y/n’s team was able to catch up and shorten the gap.

Right now, there are only five questions left. The score remained tied as Y/n tried her best to remain perfect. If things were to continue the way they were, the last question would determine the winner.

Before she knew it, it was finally her turn. Standing up to take the podium, Y/n glanced at Wanda accidentally locking eyes. ‘I will be the one to defeat you, Maximoff. I will make sure of it.’

Fall Semester - Freshman Year

“I’ve never seen you study so much before. It’s kinda freaky.” The two roommates sat around the small circular table in the middle of the room, enjoying a couple of drinks and snacks. Natasha begged for Y/n to stop for at least a small break, having missed talking to her roommate.

“Trust me, I hate it just as much as you do.” Y/n stretched her legs at her sat position. Rolling her neck around, a couple of pops and clicks could be heard.

“Why do it? Your grades are fine the way they are.” Y/n looked back at the pile of books on her desk. She never really recalled studying this much before during her high school days. Heck, she’s been able to get by this whole time just by how naturally smart she was. So when she looked back at Natasha, there was this ‘ya know’ look in Y/n’s eyes. “Does it have to do with Wanda?”

Y/n smiled at the mention of the brunette. It was odd at how many classes they were in together even though their majors were entirely different. There was something about Wanda that caught Y/n’s eye. She didn’t quite know what it was and didn’t quite want to delve too much into it.

“And if it does?” Y/n sipped on her drink, a smirk on her face as she avoided Natasha’s question. The red head shook her head, grabbing a chip.

“Well - you speak of her like she’s a God.” Eating a couple more, Natasha watched as the glimmer in Y/n’s eye brightened every time the brunette was brought up. Like the simple mention of Wanda could make Y/n smile instantly.

“Wrong, Wanda’s not a God. Gods make mistakes,” getting closer to Natasha’s face, the red head could smell the faint of alcohol on Y/n’s lips, “and Wanda Maximoff does not make mistakes.”

Y/n leaned back, still drinking the rest of her drink as Natasha looked at her roommate with a puzzled look. “Whatever you say. Just try not to make this a habit now.”

Y/n shook her head, feeling optimistic that she’d beat Wanda soon enough. Probably in the same semester. “I won’t. Promise.”

“Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time in our state’s history the competition’s fate lied in the last question.” The crowd applauded for the accomplishment as the judges beamed in smiles towards Evergreen University. “.As your judges, we believe this calls for a special problem. We’ve rewritten the last question to make it a more challenging problem.”

“With one point in the lead, if Wanda answers the question correctly, her team will solidify the win. If Y/n answers the question correctly, this competition will proceed to overtime.”

Y/n and Wanda stood at their podiums, anticipation both killing them. “Here is your question.”

As the screen showed off the problem, Y/n could feel herself standing tall as she looked over the problem. It was a multistep calculus problem that involved finding the inverse of a 3x3 matrix. Essentially, a problem that would require two pages of work just to find a solution. And by the looks of it, Wanda was already finished with the first quarter of the work.

Calming her breathing down, Y/n cleared the noise from her head. She looked back at the problem, digesting all of what it told. ‘This is just another problem, Y/n.’ Thinking lightly back to the days where math was just a fun activity to do, Y/n finally smiled, remembering the feeling where math naturally came to her.

Letting the feeling sink in, Y/n started to solve it. The crowd waited with whispers and talks of who was going to win. Many people in the crowd believed Wanda would secure another victory as she did in the past. Very few people cheered for Y/n, simply wanting to believe in the underdog.

A few minutes later, Y/n approached the final bits of her answer, immediately eyeing the answer choice on the screen. Her heart skipped a beat realizing that she could do this - that she could win.

Before she could reach out for the answer, Wanda had buzzed in first with her choice. Suddenly, everything inside Y/n shut down as she saw Wanda smile once again. It was that infamous smile that she grew so used to.

‘This can’t be it. This can’t be the end.’ Feeling herself lock up again, Y/n didn’t dare to look at the screen, hoping to save some of her dignity that was barely left.

Believing the world to be crashing in front of her, she failed to realize that Wanda had made a mistake. The screen glowed in bright red as her answer choice was incorrect. “Y/n, looks like the question is left to you. You haven’t locked in your answer, so what will it be?”

Y/n looked up, unable to digest that Wanda actually messed up. The Wanda Maximoff made a mistake. Fighting back the smile on her face, Y/n reached out for the correct answer choice, her finger tips grazing answer choice B.

The smug look on her face was hard to miss. Everyone on her team knew they would come home with the victory. Wanda’s team sighed in defeat knowing that Y/n would answer correctly.

So why did everything change when Y/n glanced at Wanda? Why did her heart hurt at the sight of Wanda spilling angry and frustrated tears? Why did her breathing stop? And why did all thoughts consume her?

Wanda never cried or at least in front of Y/n or anybody. She was always the strong and confident girl that knew every answer for every question. She walked like she was untouchable. So how did she mess up?

‘Please stop crying,’ she thought. Her heart constricted knowing she was the reason Wanda was crying. Yet every ounce of her brain yelled for her to press the damn answer, to finally prove to Wanda that she could be defeated, to finally get the win that she had been craving for since freshman year.

So why couldn’t she just fucking press it? Looking back at the crowd and at the answer written down on her paper, her free hand crumpled the sheet as her heart overtook what her mind pleaded.

Feeling like time stopped, Y/n held her breath when those green eyes locked with her. ‘I want to win…I want to stay…but at the cost of this…this isn’t a win.’

Beyond logic and reason, Y/n pressed her answer. Confetti blew in the air as the judge announced, “And the winner is team # 1 with Wanda Maximoff as their team captain. Congratulations to Evergreen University!”

Regardless of what Wanda had ever done, said, or thought, Y/n knew that today was all because the school wanted to so badly pin Wanda against her. But Y/n finally knew better. This will not be the day she wins. This will be the day she was finally okay to be second to Wanda.

Many cheers and laughter filled the bus as the group celebrated the Evergreen University win. Wanda had been smiling so hard since the award ceremony that her cheeks started to hurt.

As she looked over the trophy, her eyes couldn’t stop looking at the sleeping figure near the back of the bus. ‘I almost lost it,’ Wanda thought. It was unlike her to make a mistake and if she was being honest, she didn’t know what to blame.

As much as she wanted to overlook her work, she wanted to leave that mistake in the past and enjoy the win. But as she kept looking back to Y/n, who hadn’t said a word to her since the final match, Wanda couldn’t help but feel like something was wrong.

Regardless, the drive back to Evergreen was filled with joy as Y/n finally slept after a long exhausting day.

Finals Week - Spring Semester - Junior Year

Wanda loved winning…but lately, it had a sour taste in her mouth. Finals week came in full swing, giving zero time for Wanda to dissect this weird feeling in her chest. She had helped some of her friends and classmates with studying, making her even more busy than usual.

By the time she was done with tests, the sour feeling still sat in her chest. With only two days left, Wanda couldn’t help but lose some sleep over this feeling. Why was winning suddenly so bad? When did it become something she felt guilty for?

Subconsciously, her mind gravitated towards Y/n. In her dreams, the moment before Y/n answered the final question replayed constantly. It was as if her mind took a vivid recording of the whole interaction. And as she replayed the moment she locked eyes with Y/n, Wanda couldn’t help but feel like the trophy wasn’t meant for her.

Of course she downplayed the scenario, believing that this was another mistake that Y/n had made for that day. And the words of Dean Holloway, this was something Y/n never took seriously. So why did she vividly remember how Y/n’s eyes looked the moment she had chosen her answer? Why did Y/n look so accepting of defeat? Why was there no anger or thrive behind them?

And the more she thought, the more she realized how little she saw of Y/n during the whole week. Friday, the last day of the semester, came around. During the test, her mind suddenly diverted to her. So when Wanda looked up and found Y/n in the crowd, she couldn’t help but want to talk to her, to see what exactly happened in that moment.

Was it something she made up in her head? Was she feeling weird for actually making a mistake in front of people? Was this blown out of proportion?

Regardless, Wanda didn’t dare describe this feeling as part of missing Y/n. Cause if she had, maybe she would have realized sooner that winning felt wrong this time. Because maybe, just maybe, it had pushed away the person that actually understood her better than anyone else.

Last Night - Spring Semester - Junior Year

Y/n Y/l/n,

We regret to inform you that your scholarship has been revoked for the following 2019 fall semester. This decision was not made lightly as the board is aware of the accomplishments you’ve brought to Evergreen University. Nevertheless, the requirement to place #1 in the most recent STEM competition was something we could not ignore.

We do hope you decide to enroll for your senior year. For further information on financial aid or loan applications, please visit the Bursar’s office.

Dean of the College of Arts & Sciences

Cedric Holloway

Evergreen University

The letter sat on the Y/n’s near empty desk as she continued to pack in preparation for tomorrow. It was the last night on campus for every student. While many chose to celebrate it with a party, Y/n chose to spend it alone.

The silence of her room provided some comfort as she cleared her bookshelf. “Why must I have so many books?”

While Y/n never imagined this would be where her college career with Evergreen ended, she certainly never regretted her choice. Then again, she hadn’t been home in forever, so that may change soon once she goes back.

Looking back at Natasha’s fully furnished side, Y/n could feel some guilt rising to her chest as she hadn’t broken the news yet to her best friend. Not wanting to burden the red head with a sad night, Y/n remained silent, hoping tomorrow would be best to break the news.

As for Y/n’s group, none of them were particularly angry about her mistake. Everyone tried their best to cheer their captain up, providing some comforting smiles and words. None of it truly mattered though. This was Y/n’s choice to make and she fully knew the consequences of it.

So for the first time in a while, Y/n was actually alone and not studying. That was until she came. Wanda stood in the hallway, thinking of how she would talk to Y/n, to hopefully apologize. She carried the trophy that was mailed in from the conference, one that actually had her name engraved on it.

But the trophy felt heavy and awkward in her hands, but it was the closest thing Wanda could think of as a conversation starter. Pushing her anxieties away, Wanda walked to Y/n’s dorm, surprised that the door was actually opened.

The first thing she noticed was the pile of boxes that almost blocked the doorway. Looking past it, Wanda couldn’t help but notice how bare Y/n’s side looked.

“What are you doing?” Y/n jumped from the corner of her room, hand on her chest.

“Jesus Christ, Maximoff, can you give a girl a warning?”

Wanda placed the trophy in the hallway, and walked around Y/n’s room, not caring for an invitation inside. Thinking back to the dorm setup, Evergreen University typically had students stay in the same dorm assigned to them from freshman year all the way to junior year. During senior year, students would be upgraded to bigger dorms.

“I thought you couldn’t transfer dorms till senior year was closer?” Wanda turned around to face Y/n, the empty side didn’t make sense as juniors typically left their items alone throughout the summer.

Y/n’s eyes glanced at the letter on her desk. “I’m moving to a new scenery.” She picked up the box with her knick knacks and placed it on top of the letter, hoping Wanda didn’t notice. The brown eyed girl leaned against her desk. She tilted her head noticing the shiny object in the hallway.

“Is that the trophy?” Wanda looked back, almost forgetting what she came here to do. She walked back to the hallway and grabbed the trophy. Their fingers brushed as Wanda handed it to Y/n. “Wow! It’s…it’s really beautiful.”

Y/n rubbed her thumb across Wanda’s name. Wanda Maximoff 2019 Champion. “Congratulations by the way. Sorry I wasn’t able to say it back on stage.” Y/n handed the trophy back to Wanda. If the girl was paying attention, she would’ve noted the odd look Wanda gave her.

Something was different and Wanda hated it. Winning always gave her a high but something about this interaction increased the bittersweet feeling in her chest. “What dorm hall are you relocating to?” Wanda placed the trophy on Y/n’s desk. “I could help you out if you need it.”

Already ready to help out, Wanda lifted the box of knick knacks, her fingers brushing over the letter. “Wanda-,” Y/n startled herself, not expecting to nearly yell at Wanda, “I- I -”

No words left Y/n’s mouth as those green eyes stared back at her. Suddenly, all those times where they yelled in each other's face came to mind. How close were they to ever…?

Y/n sighed, there was no use hiding from the truth now. “I’m actually going back home.” Wanda placed the box back down, still not understanding why Y/n’s things were packed. “I’m-”

Y/n scratched the back of her neck, avoiding Wanda’s stare. “I’m transferring to Langford University.” An eerie silence settled in Y/n’s room. So when Y/n got the courage to look back at Wanda, she hadn’t expected the teary eyes and offended look on Wanda’s face.

“You’re transferring? Why?” Moving off the desk, Y/n sat on her bed as Wanda leaned back on to the desk. “It’s - complicated. I really don’t want to go into it.”

Wanda’s hand balled up into a fist. The lack of details pissed her off. “You’re seriously not coming back?” Wanda hated how bitter everything tasted. The sight of her trophy pissed her off even more.

Y/n opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out. She didn’t know what to say. She was leaving what she called home for the past three years. Not only that, she was leaving the girl that has been there since her first day. What could she even say?

Before she could admit anything, Y/n’s phone rang, breaking the tense atmosphere. “Sorry, let me take this real quick.” Y/n walked out to the hallway to answer her phone.

Wanda sighed with her head hung low. What was she going to do now? Being #1 was something her parents always pressured her to do. But ever since she met Y/n, #1 was something that motivated her to get out of bed and start the day extra early. Meeting Y/n meant countless hours studying just to make sure she knew the lessons by heart. Meeting Y/n meant her life revolved around beating the girl in every single thing. And as harsh as it sounded, it was the only way Wanda knew to get closer.

She turned around and glanced at the open box. There was a various amount of figurines, crystals, and journals thrown in. Wanda picked up a green crystal, one that almost matched her eyes. She remembered the day back in freshman year where Y/n had admitted she recently got into collecting crystals. Wanda thought at first it was a waste of money until she stopped by a local shop.

The red head could see why it was intriguing to buy them especially when you believe the auras and specialities that a certain rock can bring to your life. So in secret, Wanda bought a sphere of rose quartz and placed it in her room. She didn’t notice anything different in her life but then again, all her thoughts already surrounded Y/n.

Wanda looked back at the hallway and could hear Y/n still talking on the phone. It felt wrong to steal, especially since that was a no no in the crystal community. But the idea of Y/n leaving her without a single thing to keep for herself felt cruel. So when she slipped on the necklace, as if it already belonged to her, she could feel her heart skip a beat at the thought of Y/n giving it to her.

Wanda tucked the crystal under her shirt when her fingers brushed the letter once more. The school logo printed on the top right called her name. It felt wrong to intrude, but the more she reminded herself of the situation, the less she cared about her morals.

Gently sliding the letter from under the box, Wanda quickly read it. Eyebrows furrowed, Wanda read “We regret to inform you…”

Y/n shuffled back into the room causing Wanda to straighten up. “Sorry about that. I need to get Natasha. She’s stuck at some frat party without a ride back home.” The brunette crumpled the piece of paper and tucked it into her pocket. Y/n was too distracted to notice. “Again, I’m really sorry but congratulations on the win Wanda.” Y/n looked at Wanda with the most sincere eyes. “Incase no one has told you, I’m really proud of you.”

With one last look, Y/n left her dorm, hoping the Wanda would be decent enough to lock it up for her. And all Wanda could focus on was the sound of her name leaving Y/n’s lips. ‘You never call me Wanda.’

‘Like hell I’m going to let this happen.’ Wanda stormed into her father’s office, knowing he would be working another late night. The clear warm glow from his room indicated that he was there.

Storming through the doors caused him to look up from his computer, clearly unexpecting guests at that moment.

“Give her scholarship back.” Wanda slammed the letter onto his desk, crossing her arms hoping to show that she wasn’t messing around. The brunette couldn’t think straight about anything after she fully read the letter, and by now, she didn’t know whether to strangle Y/n for not telling her or for her father to even approve such decisions.

“This decision was not made lightly.” Wanda could read past her father’s sentence and she was not going to take no for an answer.

“Then clearly you’ve made the wrong decision.” Eric sighed knowing just how stubborn his daughter was. It was unfortunately a trait she got from him. Knowing fully well just how smart Wanda was, explaining this decision was going to be a disaster and a headache away.

Looking past the letter and into his daughter’s eyes, he’s never seen her be this angry. Sure they’ve had arguments, but they’ve subsided ever since she started to attend college. Eric was hoping it was because Wanda was getting older and more mature.

But as she stood there, eyebrows furrowed with a frown on her face, it felt like she was 16 all over again. Not wanting to beat around the bush, Eric figured to cut to the chase.

“She’s a threat.” He didn’t like to admit it, but there was hardly anyone on campus that could match his daughter’s intelligence. This was something Eric wanted to keep. But the more he noticed Y/n move up on the Dean’s list, the more he feared Wanda’s spot would be threated. While he was confident in his daughter’s ability, he simply wanted to keep her spot safe. And that meant dealing with Y/n.

“She’s my equal.” All the guilt from the competition finally made sense. And as more things continued to click, the more Wanda stood in horror at the things she said to Y/n. This was all starting to become a nightmare, one that Wanda prayed to go away. But the look on her father’s face pissed her off even more. “If you don’t, I’m transferring. And there’s nothing you can do that will stop me.”

Giving him no time to respond, Wanda walked out of the office. There was no time to think about her ultimatum, not when all she could think about was Y/n.

‘Say something to her, Wanda, for fucks sake.’ It was finally the last day of the semester. Every student was mandated to leave by a certain time. While there was a large crowd of kids with their backpacks and suitcases, all Wanda could focus on was the goodbye happening between Natasha and Y/n.

The brunette had stayed up all night figuring out ways to get Y/n’s scholarship back. At one point, she even considered paying for Y/n’s tuition herself if it meant getting her to come back. But her father would immediately block her allowance if he caught wind of this.

So far, she hadn’t gotten a response back from him. ‘Maybe he needs more time.’ But time was running out as Natasha helped Y/n with the last box. Percy was already in the driver seat, ready for the long drive back home.

She could overhear their goodbyes and that Natasha would visit soon to hear the full story. But still, Wanda stood paralyzed, unable to move. ‘What if she doesn’t want to see me? What if I was too mean to her?’

And as Y/n got into the car, waving her goodbyes, Wanda stood behind the tree, clutching on to the only thing she had of Y/n. Tears quietly fell down her cheeks, a lingering question on her mind. ‘Did I push you away when you needed me the most?’

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mxtantrights · 4 months

Text

where you go, I go

a/n: okay so while I'm writing this whole series for azriel just know that I had this other recurring dream about a plot like this. I couldn't really make it a fully fleshed out story with a happy ending so I decided to type it all out and make it a one-shot with angst and not a lot of comfort (this is your warning, this doesn't end happily) anyways with all of that said, if you decide to read this please enjoy and tell me what you think! <333 also happy valentines day <333

azriel x assassin!fem!reader

5.1k words

The day court was home to many things. Vibrant colors, warm waters, ancient books and of course the very ancient and magical day blade. It's your job to know where that this is at all times.

You can't possibly understand why the shadow singer would try to steal it. Try being the operative word here. While you did sense him enter your court and break into the room where the blade was, it wouldn't have mattered.

Seeing as it is your job to protect the blade at all costs, it never leaves your sight. But that didn't mean you couldn't have fun with those who wanted so badly to get it.

In your pocket you feel a piece of paper appearing suddenly. You reach inside and unfold it. It's Helion. He's requesting your presence. You smile to yourself, this would be fun.

You leave your hiding place, the palace had many hidden rooms and hallways, and walk over to Helion's day room. As you approach from the hallway you can hear multiple conversations being had.

The door is closed so you open it slightly.

"There she is! Come in and greet my guests!" he says happily.

You make sure you face is kept neutral. You had an image to upkeep in this court.

The people respect you and fear you in the same breath. You don't go around killing people but you do often get justice in ways that aren't in the parameters of the law. Whether that be stringing up robbers and looters from their pants, or burning down the houses of dirty criminals.

You keep your eyes straight, not looking any of his guests in the eye. You walk until you are standing behind Helion who sits in his usual seat.

"I was just telling Feyre that I enjoy the new company. This is the inner circle." he says to you.

You nod once.

"She doesn't talk?" Nesta asks.

You know all of them. It's your duty to know The Who's who of the courts. The inner circle of the night court. High Lord Rhysand and High Lady Feyre-Curse breaker. Her sisters Elaine and Nesta. Rhysand's brothers Cassian and Azriel. Morrigan, past fiancee of Eris Vanserra. Amren, a mythical creature of serious power.

Helion laughs at Nesta's question. He knows you talk. He knows you very well, seeing as he practically raised you. But that information isn't public knowledge.

"She does, but not when theres something wrong." Helion answers.

You look at all of them now. How the girl closest to the shadow singer, Elaine, looks worried. And it's quick, you almost don't catch it, but you're so good at your job at this point.

"Trouble in the day court?" Rhysand says.

You lean over and whisper into Helion's ear about the blade. How the shadow singer came here to steal it, on a mission from his high lord. How he thinks he got away with it.

The room goes quiet as you pull back and Helion sits back in his chair. He loves the dramatics you pull off every single time someone tries to take the blade. The last person you caught was really delighted to be drowned in glitter, confetti and manure.

"Is there something you're forgetting?" Helion asks.

Rhysand looks at his inner circle with an incredulous smile. Then he looks to you, no doubt trying to read your mind. You can't imagine this will go over well either.

You can't feel it. The daemati powers that certain fae have don't work on you. You're not really sure why. Might have something to do with your unknown lineage. Or your overall hardheadedness-so Helion says.

Rhysand cocks his head to the side at your unmoving posture. He's still looking at you. You however are taking in the shadow singer. He's sitting there, not bothering to look at anyone. He must really think he got the blade.

"What would that be?" Feyre asks this time.

"Well, when you want something that another has you usually ask." Helion says.

At that everyone at the table grows grim. Caught red handed is what it seems like. You still manage to hide you smile though.

"Helion..." Rhysand starts.

"If you were anyone else I would have you locked up already. But lucky for me my security system is top notch." Helion smiles and grabs his glass for another sip of what could only be wine.

At his words the shadow singer now looks at the high lord. Your high lord. His face bares no emotion, like he can't afford to give a way a secret or smile.

You've heard about his reputation. But at this point that's all it is. He couldn't even steal from you correctly. This has to be the most interesting thing that's happened this year. You don't get around to much outsider business, you tend to stay out of it.

"I don't think it is." the shadow singer says.

Helion stifles a laugh. But you can hear it. And you know if you can hear it they all can. The room is big but not big enough that guests at a table can't hear things.

"Care to relieve them of their misery?" he looks up to you and asks.

You didn't really want to. But then again you'd have to play nice with them. Helion seems to like this group. Or most likely, his son is friends with this group and he wants to be friends with his son.

You sigh, "Take out the blade."

You watch in amusement as everyone at the table looks at each other. As if they all don't know what they really came here for. The shadow singer though, he's different. He's looking right at you.

His shadows materialize the blade right on the table for everyone to see. Cassian, gives him a look. But Azriel doesn't seem to see it or care.

"That's not the blade." Helion quips.

You call the blade to you with your powers. Being gifted with the ability to control sun made objects is fun most of the time. Most living things are sun made in a sense. So really you could control all things, to a certain extent.

The blade comes flying into your hand. As soon as it makes contact with your skin it transforms. The metal of the blade turns into a vibrant green stem. And the helm turns into the face of a sunflower.

Azriel seems to go through a range of emotions. First confusion. Then understanding. And then the last one, well you can't actually pin down the last one. You've gotten good at reading people but he's harder than others.

"The blade is safe in the day court, where it will remain until you ask for it." Helion says.

Rhysand lets of a breath, "I am sorry about lying, but we're short on time."

"And I thought our alliance was stronger than that. I am sorry too." Helion replies.

Helion stands from his seat, causing the others to match his actions. The sound of chairs on marble floors reaches your ears. You take a step back and cross your hands behind your back.

"We need the blade for a mission." Feyre speaks.

"It could be a simple mission or the end of the world. The fact that you have no respect to ask me tells me everything I need to know." Helion says casually.

You know that he is hurt by their lying. It's not deep, but it's there. He thought he could trust them. He thought because they had good relations with him before that they were better than the actions they are displaying right now.

Of course you know of the good bond between them. Which is why you don't understand why they didn't just ask. Unless there is a well justified reason. Why not ask the high lord for the blade unless he was implicated somehow.

How could Helion be implicated in a mission from the night court. He doesn't know anything, or he would have offered them the blade himself. No this is something he's not at the center of. But it still concerns him.

Lucien. You look at the guests around the room. He is no where to be found. True he's not part of the inner circle. He's an emissary. But if it was something the inner circle could simply ask Helion for, why not butter him up with his son?

Lucien may or may not know what going on.

"Where's Lucien?" you ask.

At you question all of the heads move to you. Right, you hadn't spoken to them this whole time. Well you weren't going to give them a smile and greet them kindly.

"What business do you have with him?" Nesta asks.

"He's in Spring. Managing relations." Rhysand answers.

You nod your head. Spring. If that answer can even be trusted. Let's say you do trust it for the moment.

The inner circle needs the day blade. They didn't want to ask for it. They didn't let Lucien come.

"Were you planning on returning it?" you ask again.

Nesta, rolls her eyes at your question. You can't help the giddiness you feel of getting under her skin. You hardly did anything to warrant it. But it felt kind of good.

"As soon as we were done." Azriel answers this time.

You don't ignore the stress he puts not he word soon. You also don't ignore the way his eyes seem to never leave yours.

"That blade is our most powerful weapon. We don't just give it out to anyone." Helion chimes in.

He maneuvers around his chair and stands behind you. When he grips both of your shoulders with his hands, you can tell he's smiling even if you can't see him.

"But I will let you use it," Helion continues, "on one condition."

"Go ahead." Rhysand says.

"Wherever the blade goes, she goes." Helion says.

"That won't be necessary." Nesta says.

At the same time Cassian says, "That's odd."

Helion shrugs his shoulders and lets go of you. He leans into your ear to whisper his next words very carefully. When you understand him and what he wants, you nod your head only once.

He grabs the sunflower from your hands as you uncross them from behind you. Helion stands next to you now. You watch as Helion brings the flower up to his nose and gives it a sniff.

"We agree to those terms." Azriel speaks up.

"Woah hold on-" Rhysand tries to cut in.

"Great. I think this will be beneficial to both courts." your high lord agrees.

You turn to face him now, your back towards the guests. Helion was looking at you with a very faint smile. You heard every word he whispered to you. And you understand the reason why: Family.

What you don't get it is why he won't just speak to Lucien himself. Why play nice with a high lord that knows his son when he can just reach out to him? Invite him to the day court or send him a letter.

Everyone in this room knows Lucien is Helion's son, except Lucien. And now your mission is to tell him so that he might finally have a true place to call home.

Helion wouldn't so easily agree to lending out the blade like this if it weren't for Lucien. And the night court wouldn't try to steal it if Lucien did know, because he could just ask on their behalf.

Your shoulders sag at the thought. You had no interactions with Lucien. You only ever heard of him from Helion and he only started referring to him as his son a couple of months ago.

It'll be you. You'll be the one to see him, come eye to eye to him, and tell him the truth.

You can see it in his eyes. The sadness. You'd do anything for him. He's a father figure to you. And you'll see this through, for his sake and Lucien's too.

"Promise me you'll smile a little bit during your trip." Helion says.

"The Sun Wraith doesn't smile." you answer.

"You're the Sun Wraith?" Cassian's voice asks.

You turn around and face the general. It's all over his face. The look of shock. It wasn't hard to become something of a legend in this court and the ones surrounding it.

"Even people in the night court are scared of you." Nesta says.

On her face seems to be another emotion. Not fear. Not shock. Something lighter amongst the surface. Admiration maybe? You aren't too sure.

"I'll grab my things." you say to no one in particular.

"And the blade." Azriel's voice sounds.

"I never go anywhere without it." you say, reaching behind you.

Grabbing the flaps of your yellow vest you flip it over and your hand wraps around the hilt of the blade. You pull it out for all of them to see.

"Best security in all of the courts." Helion jokes.

THREE WEEKS LATER

The mission has barely begun and you hate it here. You hate it in the night court. The days are shorter and you feel pale without even looking into a mirror most days. Nothing beats the sun of the day court on your skin.

Amren had told you it would get better. After your first meeting she had taken a liking to you. You were told by several members in the inner court that it was no easy feat. She talked to you the most out of everyone.

Second to her, came Nesta who was just curious about the things you allegedly did or did not do. You held off on telling her anything too juicy. It was funny toying with her with the details. She also likes your fighting style. Morrigan too.

Azriel talks to you. Sometimes. He's friendly to a point. Cassian is more friendlier than him but you're starting to understand it's just in his nature. Feyre and Rhysand are cordial. Elaine is, well you've been told that she's nice but you haven't really seen it. She greets you but that's it.

The inner circle didn't get on your nerves. But you also had your own mission. Deliver the news to Lucien that Beron isn't his father, Helion is.

Which is why though this whirlwind of a mission you're laying down on path of grass outside of the House of Wind. Weird. What was even weirder was the fact that Velaris, a secret city inside of the night court, has existed for so long with no one none the wiser.

You squeeze your eyes shut. Trying to turn your brain off. It wasn't working. The sun wasn't the same, it does't feel the same. You can't call off this mission either.

"Is this what you do in the day court?"

You'd know that voice anywhere. Which is weird to say as you've known the male for a couple of weeks now. But it's true. Azriel's voice was distinguishable from others. A bit low, but still soft. Clear.

"Yes." you answer.

"Is that all the explanation you can give me?"

"Yes."

You think he'll go away. He plays nice because you have the blade. He needs the blade, which means he needs you. Once he no loner needs the blade he won't need you.

When you hear the sound of him getting closer you want so badly to open your eyes. But you don't. You keep them closed. As much as you want to open them and see what he's doing.

The sound of him laying down beside you on the grass is one you weren't expecting. Also the feeling of soft cold tendrils nipping at your arm.

"It feels...nice. A bit cold." he speaks.

Of course he'd complain about he cold. Nesta had told you that Illyrians were whiny babies. You'd seen it personally when Cassian couldn't get a certain dish because there were no more potatoes for the day.

And now here his brother is. Complaining.

You hold up your left hand, the one close to him.

"Give me your hand." you command.

You half expect him to decline. To maybe even get up and leave. Or maybe say that he doesn't mind the cold. The other half of you expects him to just listen you-to see where it goes.

He takes your hand. You focus on letting the additional warmth you normally feel from the sun flow from your hand and into his.

Out of all the things you half expect and do expect, his laugh is something you don't plan for. It's deep. It comes from his core. It's gentle too. Which you wouldn't get just from looking at him.

"It's warm." he says.

"That's how the sun feels in the day court." you answer.

"I think you just spoke more than three words to me."

You scoff, "Don't get used to it."

"That was four words."

"Shut up."

"Two. We're regressing."

"Azriel."

"I'll be quiet now."

This is how you spend your time. If you are not training with Morrigan, Amren and Nesta. Or not eating with Cassian in the kitchen. You are laying out on the grass with Azriel in the sun.

It happens more times than you care to admit as the mission goes on.

ONE MONTH LATER

This place, Velaris, was starting to grow on you. You didn't want to admit that out loud, or in your letters to Helion. Or how well you were gettign on with Azriel. The trips into the city, the lingering glances and words with hidden layers.

You letters should only have on subject, Lucien.

He has been back from the spring court for two weeks now. You've taken that time to get to know him. You couldn't fathom unleashing the truth on him as a stranger. You don't need to be his friend. But he needs to at least trust the words coming out of your mouth when you say them.

Family dinner they called it. Even though only three of them were related to each other. But you guess that what makes their family unique. They choose each other, every day.

This meal was special. Seeing as you had finished the mission that Helion sent you on to protect the blade. There was a fae that needed to be tracked down and would only come out of hiding if he could see the sun blade.

Of course you didn't let him, but you did convince him that the fake blade you passed onto him was the real thing. When he found it wasn't after he revealed his intentions with it he got angry.

Angry enough to rain hellfire down on both you and Azriel. If it weren't for your fast thinking and powers you both wouldn't have made it out in one piece.

Now you're sat with the inner circle to celebrate your feat.

Someone clears their throat. This drags your gaze from the redheaded male to the dark haired one. The both of them were sitting in front of you.

How the mother is cruel and precious at the same time. One male is your mission which you planned for. The other male you didn't plan for, and yet...

"Az was asking if you miss home." Morrigan says from your side.

"Dearly. But its not bad here." You speak, not quite realizing what you just did.

You watch as Azriel's smile grows and grows on is lips. It hits you then.

"Wipe that smile off your face before I take it back." you say to him.

"No I don't think I will." he jokes.

You shake your head with a light laugh. You can pick up on his laugh too from across the table.

"Well if it means anything, you fit in well here." Amren speaks up.

Everyone at the table quiets down at that. You look over at her, peering around Morrigan. You nod once at the sentiment.

"You need to tell him." Elaine says suddenly.

You look to her sharply. She's gotten better about speaking to you. More than a greeting but still less than a conversation. It does weird you out some times but you let it go for the most part.

"Oh?" you ask rhetorically.

"Elaine I don't think we should discuss this here." Feyre starts.

"He needs to know." Elaine says again.

It upsets you. She is his mate. She is the one connected to him. She has known this secret longer than you. But you'll be the one to tell him? She doesn't want to get her hands dirty. None of them do.

"What do I need to know?" Lucien asks all of a sudden.

You look to him. Hoping nothin is being given away by your face. When no one answers him he scoffs lightly to himself and looks around at the table.

This is happening now.

"It's obviously about me, none of you can look me in the eye except for her." Lucien continues.

"I can tell you, in private." you offer.

He nods his head and gets up from his seat. You follow his lead and get up too. The two of you walk out of the dining room and onto the balcony. You pull the door close behind you.

"Before you say anything, do they all know about this?" he asks.

He can't be asking about Elaine. She's the whole reason you're having this conversation right now. No, he's talking about Feyre. His friend. Or who he thought was his friend.

What can be left of a friendship after a lie like this?

"Yes." you answer simply.

Lucien shakes his head, "Okay, you can tell me now."

You take him in. The tense shoulders. The bowed head. His hair is perfectly combed behind his back. In this light, he looks like Helion. Not too much, but just enough.

How do you up end someone's life?

"Lucien do you ever think about what it felt like growing up with Beron as your father?" you ask.

Lucien looks at you sharply, "It was unspeakable. I wouldn't wish that life on anyone."

"And it shouldn't have been yours either." you reply.

His brows furrow. Right in the middle like they want to meet so badly. You wonder if he's felt like an outsider before. If he's ever felt it amongst his brothers. The black sheep.

"When my mission is over here, do you think you could come back with me to the day court?" you ask softly.

His face goes from confusion to somewhat understanding. But you haven't told him enough for him to completely get what you're saying, what you're asking of him.

"A couple of times Eris tried to make me visit the day court." Lucien admits.

You nod your head at that. Of course. Ever the perfect actor. You knew him for a little slice of time in your life. A period in which you won't ever forget. He was your first kiss. You were young and kids, trying to figure out your own way in life.

Kissing Eris, the treacherous fox of the autumn court, was every bit exciting at your age. You gossiped, and word got around. But he didn't deny it. For all the lies and manipulation he pulled you thought he might say you were delusional, that you had made it all up. But he backed you claim.

Eris knew Lucien wasn't Beron's son. Eris probably protected him as best he could. In his own, Eris way. Whatever that means.

"You can invite him too." you say.

Lucien looks past you. No doubt at the inner circle lingering inside. If you were in his position you wouldn't even go back in there. You'd never talk to any of them again.

"I'll take my leave now, but thank you. For being honest." he says.

You give him a small smile, "To be clear I was to tell you the news in a gentle manner. What just happened was out of my hands."

"I get it. I'll see you around." he says.

You bid him goodbye. Then he's walking past you. You hear the door open and how voices inside seem to call his name. You don't hear him respond to any of them. You hear the front door slam.

With a breath you turn around and head back inside too. When you do everyone is looking right at you. It unnerves you. You hate it.

"I've done your dirty work now. I think I'll call it a night." you speak.

"He didn't deserve to find out like that." Feyre says.

"You're right, he deserved honesty from his friends." you retort.

"You were sent here to tell him the truth. Am I wrong?" Rhysand asks.

You turn to face him clearly. You can't believe he just said that. You cannot believe he formed the words with his mouth to say that to you.

Without saying another word you walk right out of the dinning room. You ignore Nesta and Amren calling out to you. And you ignore the shadow that walks with you right out of the room and into he hallway.

As soon as you get inside of your guest room the shadow disappears.

SUNRISE, THE NEXT DAY

You're skip training and packing for home instead. You wish you could pack faster but that isn’t possible. You don’t want to be here for another second. Not in this court, not among the inner circle.

When you throw in your last few shirts into the luggage a knock raps on the door. You don’t know who it is, but if it is Rhysand or Elaine you won’t open the door.

“Who is it?” You ask.

“It's me, can you open up?”

You go over to the door and open it. Standing there on the threshold is Azriel.

“I’ll be leaving soon.” You say.

His eyes seem to widen at that. You watch as he peers over you and takes in the bareness of the room, and the packed luggage. He straightens himself out.

“Why so soon? It feels like you just got here.” He replies.

Based on his words alone he doesn’t want you to leave. You can feel it too. How it’s only been a month or so but the two of you are comfortable around each other.

You sigh, “The mission is over.”

“And we’re back to this? Four word sentences?” He asks.

“Azriel.”

He looks down both sides of the hallway. His head turning left then right. Then he’s turning back to you. He looks nervous. Antsy. He doesn’t normally look that way. He’s usually so composed.

He takes you by surprise. He side steps into the room and closes the door behind him. At that you know your eyes go wide. He holds up his hands in defense.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry for that but I just—are you mad at me?” He asks.

You scoff, “Yes I am.”

“Okay I knew that, but I was also confused because on that mission you saved my life.”

“Hardly.” You answer simply.

He groans at your one word answer, “You made sure those arrows didn’t plant themselves in my wings. You made sure I was safe.”

“It was nothing.”

“No it was something.”

You’re catching on now to how tense he is. Tense or nervous you can’t tell. His eyes are frantic. His breathing is also uneven. And his shadows are fully out on display now.

You do the one thing you can think of. You reach out for his hand. He doesn’t even seem to notice it. When you make contact he looks you in the eye. “Please calm down.” You whisper.

He bows his head, his hair covering his face now. All of a sudden he sinks to his knees. The action catches you completely off guard.

“I’m sorry.” He says again.

You focus on sending him warmth from your hand. In a second you can see his shoulders begin to shake. From this angle you can’t tell just yet if it’s what you think it is.

So you bring your free hand to the side of his face. You feel it. In the palm of your hand you feel his wet cheek. He’s crying. Azriel the shadow singer is crying, on his knees in front of you.

“I could have died and for the first time in a very long time I felt this deep regret in the bottom of my belly.” He chokes out.

What would he have to regret?

Slowly you drag you hand down his cheek. You place your pointer finger under his chin. Titling his head up, you meet his eyes. From this close you hadn’t realize how many shades of brown they hold.

“Azriel, you’re okay. I promise you you’re okay.” You whisper.

He shuts his eyes, more tears flowing down his face now.

“I don’t think I will be.” He admits.

“Why?” You ask.

He opens his eyes again.

“Because you hate us now, you’ll never come back here.” He answers.

In a sense he was right. Not totally. You didn’t hate the inner circle. You just couldn’t stand what they did last night. How they acted, how none of them would fess up. Even though some of them had known Lucien for a long time.

But you didn’t hate them. You didn’t hate him.

“I don’t hate you.” You reply.

“I could see it on your face last night. And now, you’re leaving so quickly. You want nothing to do with us.” He adds on.

There’s silence between the two of you. The emotions Azriel is feeling right now feel heavy. Way too heavy for someone he’s only spent about two months with.

You had heard many rumors about him. But him being like this, wearing his heart on his sleeve like this? You don’t think you could have ever imagined it.

Remembering that he’s waiting for you to answer, you remember to speak.

“Yes I’m upset and I want to go home. But that doesn’t mean I never want to see you again. Azriel I really enjoyed my time with you.” You speak.

You don’t realize it but your hand is stroking his now.

He gives you a look you can’t figure out, “Why does it feel like that time is over already? Like I’ll never see you again?”

He reaches up and places your hand on his cheek again. You don’t emit the warmth from there but he nuzzles into your hand like you are. His thumb rubs back and forth on the back of your hand there.

“You talk like everything is set in stone. Like there is only one path.” You say.

“I can just, sense it.” He explains barely.

You shake you head, “Azriel I was always going to leave.”

“Not like this. Last night changed everything.” He says, but it comes out more like a whisper.

“Get up.”

He looks at you, a bit of shock. You watch as he follows your command and gets back on his feet. He keeps your hand pressed to his face the whole time. Your other hand falls to your side.

“You can come visit me.” You say.

He’s silent. Silent but he nods his head at your words. You’re not sure if he believes you fully. But it’s enough. He wipes the tears from his face. His wings perk up, off the floor now.

You wrap your arms around his body before you can think against it. Instantly you feel his arms around you. Pulling you closer. He rests his head on top of yours. It feels right. It feels natural. No, it feels like something else too.

It feels the exact same way the sunlight in the day court feels on your skin. Like it is meant to be.

part two here!

#azriel x reader #azriel imagine #azriel fic #azriel one shot #acotar x reader #acotar imagine #acotar fic #acotar one shot

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bluerosegardens · 2 months

Note

hello! Is it okay if you write dorm leaders reaction to a heavily energetic reader please, if you don’t want to Idm ^^

of course, anon! thank you so much for requesting, i hope you like it!

dorm leaders + gn!energetic!reader

c/w: i can't write for jamil very well but i tried, leona is annoyed by you but respects you still, can you tell i can’t write for vil. malleus’s part is like 60x more romantic than the rest of the characters sorry 🤧

notes: ok so i have only completed book 3, but ive gotten plenty of spoilers about the next four books so i think i wrote for them pretty well just a heads up tho

RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS find you a little hard to keep up with. He himself has his outbursts and episodes like anybody else, but that also comes with anger, so he does his best to suppress them. But you? No, you were always this way, and in a positive manner. It almost reminded him of Kalim, except that you could handle yourself and seemed to be relatively smart, seeing that you were passing your classes as a non-magical person in a magical school.

Your excitability sometimes led to you have an evident, though not purposeful, disregard for the rules. It was irksome, yes, and it took a lot of restraint from him not to lash out at you as much as he may at Ace or Deuce—he still feels guilty from his Overblot, and besides, you’re a lot easier to stand at times than compared to those two. But, overall, he still manages, opting to instead recite the rule you broke tamely, and receiving an understanding nod from you that makes him pleased. Quietly, he’ll let out this small sigh, a symbol of his appreciation for your respect of his strict ways. It isn’t easy for him to change, and while he’s trying his best, it’s nice to know he has somebody who’s willing to comply with the rules for his sake.

LEONA KINGSCHOLAR somehow gets even sleepier in your presence. Just the sight of you having so much energy makes him lethargic. Why were you always so peppy? How were you always so peppy? It didn’t make any sense to him. You being this way wouldn’t be so much of an issue if you weren't so persistent. But here you were, shaking his shoulder in an attempt to wake him, and here he was, tired and annoyed and letting you drag him to his classes just to shut you up. It was like having a brighter, more talkative version of Cheka that actually knew what made him tick. It was irritating, but if he really hated it so much, why'd he always comply and go along with you? He'd never admit it, not in a million years, but he has this respect for you after all you've done for NRC, so he finds it best to give into your wishes, no matter how childish you seem. Because he knows that you aren't. He's seen it play out with every single Overblot. You're a lot more clever than you look, Herbivore, and he gives credit where credit is due.

AZUL ASHENGROTTO has to deal with Floyd on the daily, so it's not like this is anything new to him. If anything, it's better, considering your energy doesn't take the form of violence, like a certain Leech twin. At first, Azul did mistakenly assume your energy to be included with stupidity, which was a grave error on his part, when he discovered your scheme to destroy his contracts. In fact, he really thought you to be dumb enough to forget to even drink the water breathing potion before you went underwater to the museum. He was harshly incorrect, however, and so now he deals with the price of having to put up with your bounciness. You visit the Mostro Lounge quite often, helping out for an extra profit where you could and checking up on Azul, despite his protests against it. He's internally thankful, somewhere deep down, but it makes him embarrassed to admit it.

JAMIL VIPER is tired of this treatment. What did he ever do to deserve this? Is this punishment for his ill thoughts toward Kalim he's harbored for so many years? Why'd a Kalim Part Two have to come along? And hang around the Scarabia dorm so much? He was tired, over it, and so done with this crap. At the very least, you're not irredeemably dumb, and you're able to handle and care for yourself. You've made that quite evident from your life in Ramshackle to the way you've dealt with numerous overblots. He's surprised someone of your.. nature.. could be so responsible. So, as a minor thanks for not being completely stupid, he does his very best to.. avoid you. Why? Well, because even though you're tolerable, he'd prefer to not have a complete outburst of anger at you, fueled by Kalim's irresponsibility and the two of your energetic natures combined. So, consider this a favor. He's trying to be considerate, let him do what he needs to do.

VIL SCHOENHEIT is intrigued, not annoyed, but not overjoyed, either. Epel’s a handful already, so now that he’s taking on yet another project, he’d prefer it if you were a little more compliant than the purple haired first year. He understood it felt difficult to sit still for a while, but just try for him, okay? Otherwise he finds it rather endearing. He thinks it’s cute, the way you get excited to see him all the time. It’s flattering, definitely. He just wishes you'd sit still while he paints your nails, potato.

IDIA SHROUD is overwhelmed please leave him alone why are you so wild god help him. He’s already constantly afraid of Kalim and Cater jumping him, now he’s gotta worry about another secret THIRD threat? this is NOT fun he NEVER should have exited his room WHY did he let Ortho drag him around today. You kind of scare him into attending classes. Though he guesses (?) he’s appreciative of having another person who seems so enthusiastic about games like he is. But please don’t scare him like that or else he WILL be going into conniptions.

MALLEUS DRACONIA finds it interesting, adorable and very fascinating. He’d adore you regardless of what you were like, but this is just so endearing to him. It’s one thing that people seem to get iffy around him, whether that be out of respect or fear or both. But you don’t seem to be overly respectful of him, nor afraid. It might seem like a death wish to most, but in your case? You were too enthralled with the current task of running up to him excitedly every time you saw him to even give it any thought. And that is what he appreciates and desires so much out of you. It brings a smile to his lips every time you bound outside of Ramshackle at night to walk with him, or when you have this big grin on your face as you talk about something that interests you. He couldn’t ask for it any other way, really.

#twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x mc #twst x yuu #twisted wonderland x yuu #twisted wonderland x mc #malleus x reader #azul x reader #riddle rosehearts x reader #idia shroud x reader #jamil x reader #vil schoenheit x reader #leona kingscholar x reader

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lavendertales · 1 year

Text

cállate la boca || Miguel O'Hara x f!reader**

summary: he's so damn annoyed by you. he detests you. he finds you boring and uninteresting. except for when you're alone with him at night.

word count: 1.2k

warnings: Miguel being a bossy asshole (who rambles in Spanish when he really gets into the heat of things), dirty talk, teasing, ass play, pussy slapping, doggy, just general filth.

A/N: ...I have no comment. idk how I got here. this is just somethin' I had to get out so I'm posting and fleeing lmao 🙈 feedback is more than welcome!

AGELESS/EMPTY BLOGS & MINORS WILL BE BLOCKED!

As far as everyone else is concerned, Miguel O'Hara finds you annoying as fuck. Some might go as far as to say that he's repulsed by your mere presence.

And you don't argue with them. Why would you? You've got nothing to prove. You know the truth as well: Miguel does hate you.

Except for when he doesn't.

Which is every single night.

You don’t bother looking back on how it all started. Frankly, you don’t remember. All you know is the present and the well-choreographed routine you and Miguel have selfishly developed over the weeks.

When he shuts the door behind him, he exhales. You’re already waiting for him in the bedroom, no words spoken. Though the way in which he fucks you varies from night to night, you always know to wait for him naked unless otherwise instructed.

Miguel’s eyes notice you from the frame, drinking in the image of your nude body in the poorly lit room. He leans against the door’s frame, head cocked to the left, and then to the right. Then he slowly inches closer to the bed, disposing of the skintight suit. Your mouth nearly waters.

“Always so needy,” he groans.

You can practically hear his eyes roll. It’s best if you follow his lead once he decides the kind of mood he’s in and how he wants to use your bodies to reach the throes of pleasure.

Though you can’t help the gasp that leaves your mouth when two of his fingers boldly dip into your cunt, stroking and teasing. “Did you touch yourself before I got home?”

Part of you wants to tease him further, but you know from past experience that is a dangerous game to play with Miguel. So you gulp, shamelessly admitting defeat. “A bit,” you confess.

“So damn needy. Couldn’t wait for me to fuck you, hm?”

“Yes.”

You barely breathe. You don’t contradict, you don’t oppose him. Your desires precede any of that; you simply want to give and receive. It’s all this physical relationship is for. Relief. A simple biological need with nothing else brewing in between.

But the way Miguel goes about pleasure is somehow fitting with him: impatient (no matter what he reprimands you for), greedy, dominant and overall a wild ride. He starts playing with your clit as you gasp, spreading your legs further, and then he stops. When you involuntarily whine, he lays a spank over your pussy, though nothing you can’t handle, and leans in to whisper to your earlobe, “Ass up for me, princesita.”

You follow his instruction, albeit the mocking petname, and turn around, your ass shamelessly on display for him to play with however he deems fit. He squeezes and spanks a few times, then he moves back to your clit—and surprisingly, to the other tight ring of skin that’s in its vicinity.

“You’d let me fuck this hole too, wouldn’t you? Yeah, I bet you would. I bet you’d like me to stretch every inch of this body and would take whatever I give you.”

You can barely muster a “mhm” as Miguel’s fingers graze further, testing, anticipating and building. Building for what, you don’t know.

All you know is that you are ridiculously wet by this point, and you have to resist the urge to reach around and play with your clit—else you won’t be able to come at all tonight. Usually when you disobey, Miguel doesn’t allow for any relief from your side.

And you desperately need some relief right about now.

Sometimes he likes it when you beg. Sometimes he himself asks you to beg for him and his cock. You just don’t have the luxury of knowing when or if it will happen.

“Needy little thing,” you hear him coo.

Sometimes he likes to tease you about the height difference too. No matter what you’d look like, you’d still be smaller than him. And Miguel fucking loves that. He loves towering over you, having power and direction over you.

You succumb to him each and every time, without fail.

You can’t conceal the broken moan that you exhale when you feel his cock thrust abruptly into you. He only gives you a few seconds to adjust to him and the sensation of having him fill you up to the brim like that, and then he starts to move.

And you see stars.

“Such a needy little cunt,” Miguel mutters, groaning. “So needy and tight and wet… you thought of me when you touched yourself? Hm?”

“Mhm—“

“Hable, hoy.”

Talk, today.

“Yes—yes, I—I did—“

Words are hard to come by when Miguel’s mercilessly pounding into you from behind, holding you by your waist and with his free hand teasing your ass, barely breaching the skin there.

“You like being a little fucktoy, don’t you? Hmpf—carajo—“

He’s grunting relentlessly, proof that he doesn’t have as much control over his own reactions as much as he’d like to. Whenever he grunts that throated fuck in Spanish, you know he’s getting close. And if past is any indication, you know that soon enough his rambles and his talk will melt almost exclusively into Spanish.

“Princesita needs—needs her little pussy stretched out, doesn’t she? Princesita n-needs to be filled—with my cock, isn’t that right?”

“Yes—“

“Yes, that’s fucking right… ella me necesita… a mí, y a mi polla…”

She needs me… me, and my cock.

Miguel’s string of thoughts begins to lose itself into your body, your scent and your sounds, and you both know it. If you were to dwell into the moment too much, you might overthink how Miguel emphasized the “me” in his barely coherent string of filthy words, but you don’t. You can’t.

“La princesita está necesitada y estúpida de mi polla, ¿verdad?”

The little princess is needy and stupid for my cock, isn't she?

You swear you hear him smile behind the words. You can only mumble yes on a broken loop, feeling your climax close. You’re thankful that you’ve learned some Spanish when this whole Miguel ordeal began because approval is something he seeks deeply, almost like he feeds off of it, and the lack of a response wouldn’t sit well with him.

“Miguel—Miguel, I’m—“

“Close?”

“Mhm. P-Please—“

He grabs a handful of your hair, thus ceasing the tease to your ass, and bends your body almost in half just to whisper harshly to you, “Cállate la boca y ven”.

Shut your mouth and come.

His command sparks something inside you, and you come mere seconds later, biting your lips to the point of tasting blood so you don’t scream his name. Some night he wants to hear his name scratch your throat as you beg for him, but it seems tonight is not one of those times.

“Wanna paint this ass all over,” he groans.

And that is just what he does. He strokes himself to completion, his hot seed spilling in thick spurts all over your ass as he licks his lips. He’s already thinking of tomorrow night and how he’ll want to push new limits and explore more of your body.

#miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara fanfiction #miguel o'hara fic #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara smut #spiderverse #spiderman across the spiderverse

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vaguely-concerned · 3 months

Text

Ever since watching The Wire for the first time, my brain has doggedly kept working away at the Especially the lies of it all, and specifically at how much the structure beneath the different stories Garak tells contributes to the overall meaning of what he’s trying to say. While the contradicting narratives of course expertly obscure the factual circumstances of his getting exiled, using them also allows him to tell aspects and facets of the emotional truth I don’t think he ever could have, if he’d simply told the actual story of what happened. (It’s very Varric-core of him honestly.)

The first story — the ‘oh, you think you know me?’ story — says I have done things that would sicken you if you knew any detail of it. It’s clearly meant to scare Bashir away so he’ll leave him to die shamefully in peace already lol. But it’s also one of his (probably much-needed lbr) little lessons to Julian that are so frequent in the beginning, given while Garak still has some hold on himself — “Don’t be so quick to forgive me if you don’t even know what I’ve done; what would you do if this really were the sum total of what I am?” (And Julian seems to surprise him by going ‘Well, exactly the same thing, because no matter who you are I am a doctor. But I sort of take your point.’)

The second story — the letting the orphans go story — says I have failed to smother my soul in its cradle when it was required of me, and I regret that more than anything I’ve done. To my ears this is the one most shot through with active self-loathing too, which is interesting. He’s officially lost the control he’s been clinging to and it’s about to get ugly. His TL;DR is ‘Sentiment is the greatest weakness of all’, even all the way back here. (Which is the one lesson Julian steadfastly refuses to learn, which I think in turn does some serious rearrangement of Garak’s soul over the course of the show haha. Get uno reversed into the process of loving and being loved without shame asshole.) This is also where he builds up to admitting to having any sort of need for companionship or closeness at all and — so much worse — that Julian’s role in his life actually has fulfilled some of that need, and he’s DRIPPING with defensive venom over it b/c well I get it Garak vulnerability is scary it can take a person like that.

(I also feel there’s something honest and forbidden in ‘Suddenly the whole exercise seemed utterly meaningless’. I suspect ‘actually… why the fuck are we even doing this???’ is not a welcome sentiment in an Obsidian Order water cooler environment, no matter what you’re saying it about lmao. The very first seeds of him deconstructing the things he’s been taught about Cardassia and his work might be hinted at here, though they of course take a looong time to come to any real fruition.)

The third story — the ‘Elim was my best friend’ story — says hey, remember that thing you said once, about how sometimes, you have to be loyal to yourself before you can be loyal to anything else? Well. guess what. I couldn’t even be that lmao. It also furthers that thread of being divided from yourself, split, that having ‘Elim’ as a separate person around in all versions of the story brings in. He’s in control of himself again, but he essentially hands his life and soul over to Julian to decide what should be done with them.

I’ve done horrible things and it finally caught up with me, I’m getting what I deserve → I let sentiment master me and the fact that I’m too weak to do what’s needed of me shames me more than the evil I’ve done → I fucked up. I betrayed myself and everything I held to, all for nothing, and I have no one to blame for it but myself. But it’s very nice that you’re here anyway, Doctor. (Wow. I didn’t realize quite how isolated and lonely that last one was before right now. The way Tain has shaped him really has just… locked him completely into himself, huh.) We can also see a movement through from a completely professional context in the first story, to an intensely interpersonal and internal context in the last one — even his fake stories spiral in towards intimacy, which I think is what he longs for here even if he can’t quite like. Touch that without the stories as a buffer yet, it’s clearly like touching a hot stove for him to interact with it too directly.

And you know what I find incredibly interesting the whole way through? Even on his deathbed, where he’s dying from the thing Tain had put in his head, he’s protecting Tain. He puts all the blame for where he is on himself (‘My future was limitless, until I threw it away’), even if he has to employ a strange twisty logic where he’s split himself into two to do it. Don’t get me wrong, Garak has done horrific things all on his own haha, but it’s notable that he almost isolates Tain from that. ‘Tain was the Obsidian Order. Not even the Central Command dared challenge him. And I was his right hand.’ Tain in Garak’s stories is this infallible implacable weirdly distant figure, even now. Indeed, as will make a lot of sense with the revelations further down the line, more than anything it seems the gaze of an abused child desperate for recognition looking up at an idealized (if not in any way nurturing) parent.‘He was retired at that point; he couldn't protect me’, Garak says, as if what he’d need protection from in the first place isn’t Tain himself lmao, as if Tain had no active part in any of this. He never lets blame touch Tain at all. At this stage he would rather consider himself a broken flawed tool than accept that the hands that have wrought and wielded him have ever had any fault in them. AND in the middle of it all, with plausible deniability, on death’s door and knocking meekly to be let in before he must finish the mortifying ordeal of being known and test the even more daunting possibility of being loved, Garak at the same time manages to drop the breadcrumb trail of clues to make it possible for Julian to find Tain if he so chooses and gets in the ‘sons of Tain’ thing too for future dramatic irony purposes. Truly he is the Michelangelo of lying. Every falsehood a multifaceted masterpiece. Elim ‘achieving a state of intertextuality in real life is possible if you work hard and believe in yourself’ Garak. I love him so much.

I think all of this is why “I forgive you. For whatever it is you did,” works so well, because it too works on a structural level. It’s such a deceptively multilayered response — it has the syntax of a joke, in a way, and it is kind of funny even under the circumstances, but delivered with such earnest warmth and fondness. It’s both recognition and acceptance (forgiveness!). It’s saying ‘I finally understand enough of what you’re trying to tell me beneath and through all that, in whatever way you’re capable of, I see you’ and ‘my answer hasn’t changed (bitch)’. The forgiveness Julian offers here is complete — on principle, and out of personal feeling and empathy (only one of which Garak deigns to respond to during the second story, where he calls it ‘smug Federation sympathy’, placing it more completely on the principle side than it probably is. ‘Dude you’re my friend please don’t just lie down and die in a completely avoidable way on me, who else is going to not only tolerate but actually gleefully enjoy me being annoying as fuck over lunch’ seems to be the subtext that’s a lot harder to acknowledge and invite in for both of them. And yet Tain seems perfectly clear on the fact that Julian is Garak’s friend, which, y’know. Must be fun living with the knowledge that Tain has eyes everywhere looming over you every day haha guess you’d just have to tune that out.)

Most of all — ’Don’t give up on me now, Doctor’... and he didn’t! He didn’t. Augh. Ow.

#garashir #elim garak #julian bashir #star trek ds9 #ds9 #star trek #ds9 meta #S2EP22 The Wire #alternate title: baby's first brush with unconditional love through unreliable narration lol #I'm not sure I got to say everything I want to in this/found the exact right words in places or hit all the nuances #but god help me I so desperately need this out of my brain to free up some disc space so go forth little meta haha be free #I'm sure I'll come back to you in time #meta #enabran tain #(derogatory)

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aspenthewriter · 6 months

Note

hi! i was wondering if you could do some nsfw headcannons or a fic for a fem reader with velvet? if not that's ok!!

cruising down the street in my lam- HMMM?? A note I see.. let’s open it!!

“Hi! I was wondering if you could do some nsfw headcannons or a fic for a fem reader with velvet? If not that’s okay!”

WHY OF COURSE ANON!!!

AGED UP‼️🔞

Fandom: Trolls 3/Band together

warnings: Nsfw.. nsfw alphabet to be specific- idk what else you’d put here-

pairing: velvet x Fem! Reader

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

She makes sure your okay before doing anything else, she’ll run a bath and clean you up, then she’ll get your favorite snacks and some water while you sit there cuddling and watching a movie (ik she’s full of herself but she’s probably love drunk rn okay!)

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

thighs. Thighs. THIGHS. She loves your thighs. She loves squishing them, probably gives them small kisses and bites before and after she eats you out

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

loves seeing her fingers coated in your cum after she completely fingered your raw hole into oblivion

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

she has an entire album saved on her phone and an actually photo album of pictures of you while she pleases you

she’ll never tell you about them or show them to you

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

she’s probably doesn’t know exactly what she’s doing but she will find out what spots make you shudder under her touch and which ones don’t

she knows how to please you, in EVERY. SINGLE. WAY.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

missionary, she loves seeing your face as she pleases you to no end

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

she’ll crack some light hearted jokes but overall she’s more serious

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Probably doesn’t like the feeling of any hair being on her other than her hair and eyebrows so she’s just cleanly shaven

so bald asf (like her forehe-)

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

EXTREMELY ROMANTIC

lights up candles and plays music in the background

rose pedals are all over the bed and she kisses you with such passion as she thinks of all the things she’ll do to you

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

not one to masturbate tbh

like if she’s really needy and your away or something then she’d probably do it to get some form of release but other than that nope

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

praise kink. She loves giving you praise as well as you giving her praise, she’ll tell you how good your doing for her while you tell her how good she’s making you feel

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

bedroom or bathroom

she doesn’t like the feeling or the thought of doing it anywhere else

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

wear anything purple and lacey and your not gonna walk for a little bit

she loves the look of Lacey lingerie on your body

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

she’ll never hurt you, the thought of hurting you just makes her head spin (not in a good way)

call her mommy and she’s done for the day, probably ignores you for weeks

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

she loves giving it, the only thing she prefers to receive is gifts

she’ll eat you out like she’s been starved for days, weeks, months doesn’t matter she’s EATING YOU OUTTT

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

depends how your feeling, if your in a more saddened mood then she’ll go slow and senual

While if your a little bratty she’s rough, she’ll fuck that attitude right out of you

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

she only likes quickies if they’re before a show, she probably started thinking of little scenarios while getting ready and a really nasty one popped in her mind so now she has to put those fantasies into reality

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

she’ll experiment just depends with what.

Fucking Out in a public? Maybe but it’ll take a lot of convincing

trying a threesome or an open relationship? Hell no she wants you all to herself

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

she can last a whileeeee

10 round max (like an hour each round)

Really depends how long you can last

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

omg yes! STRAP ON BABY!!! Besties fr

probably owns like 10 vibrators, specifically for you

it’s all for you.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

she’ll be so unfair

she’ll edge you on until your practically begging for her to touch you

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Quiet moans, not too loud but still loud enough for you to hear

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

she’ll fuck you against her vanity before veneer comes back from giving people unibrows and when veneer does come back and your a sweaty mess she’ll play it off as if nothing happened while he was away

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

uhh wtf do I put for this?- I guess we can talk about the dildos she uses on tou

she has about 3 big ones, 9.5 inch’s, 10.8 inch’s, and 12.3 inch’s

then 2 medium size ones, 6.4 inch’s, and 7.3 inch’s

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?

medium sex drive, not too high, not too low, she’ll fuck you whenever but she’s not like a feral fuck machine

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

won’t sleep until she knows your taken care of, when you are she falls asleep so fast, cradling your body with her long arms, sweet kissing on your forehead before she slips off into dream land

HOLY FUCK- this was rushed- it’s fucking 2am and I need sleep

hope yall enjoyed it.. anyways bye yall :3

-Aspen out

#velvet trolls #velvet and veneer #velvet x reader #trolls band together #trolls 3 #smut #headcanon

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jaehyunsprincesspeach · 9 months

Note

Hello! How are you doing? Hope you are doing just well and fine.

If your requests are open than I was wondering if you could do headcanons for Straykids where you are not dating but it's obvious you are inlove with each other? Like not friends but not dating type of trope (If it is considerd a trope), like really toeing with the line of friendship and dating. I guess it is pretty much how they would act around you when they have a crush and before the relationship and getting mistaken for a couple alot.

I apologize if it is too complicated and so feel free to delete this.

Have a great day!!

Omg I love this !!

Idk if it’s considered a trope but I absolutely adore this idea !!

Thank you so much for the request!!

All the love ~ lunar

Stray Kids With Their Crush

Bang Chan

In general, Chan is so unbelievably respectful

He would do anything you asked, big acts of service kind of guy

I don't think he would really show physical affection in public during the crush stage

Unless his crush initiates it, he won't be very physically affectionate

Is always nervous that he is acting in a way that could make his crush uncomfortable, so he will probably be very calm during this stage

But internally his heart is doing flips every time he sees them

Just wants to take care of his crush, not necessarily because he has a crush on them, but because he is just a caring person overall

Though he may be a little more attentive to his crush and their needs/wants

Makes a point to show that he supports his crush no matter what

If they're having a bad day, he will show up with their favorite foods or snacks, and maybe some flowers to cheer them up

Will put on a spontaneous movie night and wont let his crush lift a single finger

Anything they could possibly need, he's got it... and if he doesn't have it, he's already on his way to get it

Invites them to the studio while he is working, just so that he can see them more

Even has a chair in his studio reserved specifically for his crush

BOMBASTIC side eye to anyone who tries to sit there

His crush is always the first to hear their completed tracks, or what he is working on

Values their opinion on literally everything

Tries his best to hide his feelings for his crush but fails

Everyone notices how he is more attentive and gentle with his crush

When they call him out he'll say something like "Its noticable?! I thought I was discrete about it!"

Sorry, Channie is not very low key about his affection, especially with people he cares deeply about

Is completely oblivious to his crushes feelings though, whether they're subtle or not

Thinks they're just being nice to him (spoiler, they're literally in love with him... rightfully so)

Honestly, I think Chan would be so cute during the crush stage

100% boyfriend material from the start

Lee Know

This menace omg

He would tease you relentlessly

Sometimes, he makes it hard to tell whether he is joking or not

Honestly I think he does this as a sort of defense mechanism, not wanting to seem weak or vulnerable

But after some time he might soften up and open himself to his crush a little more

When he does this, he doesn't ease into it though

Could just text out of the blue one day like "had a bad day" and then starts ranting about it

Could seem like he sends mixed signals, in reality he is just nervous about opening his heart (brb crying)

Overall, he takes care of his crush in subtle ways

Subtly send reminder messages to eat, or drink water, or make sure they're getting enough sleep

Subtly drops off food at their door if they aren't feeling well

Subtly goes out of his way to bring them their coffee order in the morning when they are running late for whatever they have going on for the day

Does what he can to make his crush comfortable at all times

this is when people begin to connect the dots

Like when his crush is cold and he offers them his sweatshirt

Or when his crush is hungry and he shares his food with them, but refuses to share with anyone else

End of crush stage, right before dating, is not as subtle with his affection

Though he won't admit to any of it

"you know we all know you're crushing on them?" "I have no idea what youre talking about"

When he finally accepts his feelings, he gets shy (cutie omg)

The crush stage could be hard for him and his crush, but once they get through that stage, he becomes so soft (don't tell anyone though)

Changbin

This man does not care if people know that he has a crush, hes showering them with all of the affection he has

Shows up with flowers at random times, just because he wanted to

Always shows his crush that he wants to be with them

100% the guy who continues to try to win over his crush even after they're already together

He's a little more subtle with physical affection through this period, since he doesn't want to make them uncomfortable, yet at the same time, he just can't help but show some sort of physical affection

Takes his crush to the gym with him, whether they work out or not

That gives him more time with them (lets him show off his muscles) since he has such a busy schedule

Always makes time to see them, no matter how busy he is, but only if they are up for it

Doesnt pressure them to do anything

Like if he wants to hang out, but his crush is tired, he would rather them rest than do something that will drain them even more

Another acts of service kind of guy

Honestly takes amazing care of his crush

Lots of random little gifts, or food outings

Always makes sure his crush is eating and taking care of themselves

Invites them to the studio while he is working, especially if they text him saying they're bored

Gets Chan to agree to let them sit in their studio while they're producing

Also has a seat reserved for his crush in the studio

Writes songs for his crush, though he wont tell them its about them until they're together

goes back to it like "remember that song? yeah I wrote it for you"

"Dude, you're so obvious about your feelings for them." "Yeah, do you think they noticed?" lmao I love him

Such a sweetheart throughout this entire period and not subtle about it

Hyunjin

Honestly, I think this could go two ways with Hyunjin

Either he is super sweet with his crush (more than normal) or he’s avoiding them

If he’s sweet with his crush, he is similar to Changbin where he makes it known

The difference is that he doesn’t know that he’s making it known

In his head he’s being subtle

But it’s not very subtle to others when he shows his crush more skinship than anyone else

But to him he’s just always so happy when his crush is around

If he is avoiding his crush, it’s not because he doesn’t like them, but he unintentionally makes it seem like that

In reality, he’s just very nervous, and doesn’t know what to do around them

So his natural reaction would be to avoid them

Poor baby is just so nervous

If he is affectionate with his crush, he’s painting and drawing random things, and probably won’t notice it’s about his crush until he’s done

But his sketchbook is filled with drawings of them from memory, as he has memorized their features so that he will always remember them

Eternal love or whatever (screaming crying sliding down the wall)

Even if he avoids his crush, he’s still got his artwork portraying them

That’s when he knows for sure that his feelings for them are deeper

When he is called out, he starts panicking

“What?! No! Do you think they noticed?” Honestly goes through the five stages of grief within a five minute period

After that he gets really shy around his crush, whether he made it known to them or not

His crush would have to make the first move before he would really open up and tell them how he feels

Han

Han is literally so funny omg

This man would be in a constant state of being flustered

Even when his crush isn’t around, just the thought of them makes his whole face go red

I could see him making things confusing for his crush

Like is he always clumsy and tripping over his words? Is that a normal thing?

For his crush, yes it is normal, but for the others its a clear sign that he has a crush on them

Honestly throughout this entire period, he’s asking the other guys if he is making it noticeable that he has a crush on them

Which he is

But since his antics are the only thing that his crush sees, it could be confusing for them

Overall, he is big on acts of service for his crush (when he isn’t malfunctioning)

He loves to see them happy, so he is getting them anything they could possibly need or want

He’s also doing literally anything that he can to make them smile and laugh

His favorite sound in the world is his crushes laugh

Writes songs for them, though he wont be able to they’ll them he wrote it for them until he’s comfortable in their relationship

Gets butterflies when they agree to watch anime with him, whether they are into it or not

Tries out some of his crushes interests, whether he is interested or not

Simply wants to see them happy

Honestly, right before he confesses to them, is when he will open up more

Especially about insecurities and anxiety

This helps him determine if they are someone that he truly wants to be with and someone that can help him grow as a person and as a partner

Puts on a confident persona, even though he is freaking out internally

Honestly, depending on how his crush is, I think that this situation could bring him a lot of anxiety, if he is unclear on his crushes feelings

I think he knows that he doesnt hide his feelings well, but he just gets so excited and exhilarated when his crush is around, he really can’t help it

Felix

Sweet baby angel Felix, my love

He does not care if his crush knows about his feelings for them, honestly he would prefer it

He is already huge on ski ship, but when it comes to his crush, he stops showing that ski ship to anyone else that is not his crush

Constantly bakes for you, and always delivers it to his crush himself

Loves to see his crushes reactions when he buys them gifts

Even if its something as simple as a coffee, seeing them light up makes him so happy

Will honestly do anything to make them happy, and seeing them sad or upset breaks his heart

I feel like he would feed off of his crushes emotions

Like if they are sad, he is sad. Or if they are upset, he’s upset with them

If he sees them crying, it’s game over, the two of them are a crying mess together (kinda cute but whatevaaa)

He’s honestly such a softie with his crush

However, he’s not afraid to throw some hands if the situation calls for it, or if thats what his crush says will make them feel better

Big on acts of service and gift giving

Makes it known that he always wants to be there for them

Again, knows that he makes his feelings obvious, but he would rather have that clear communication than leave anyone questioning things

Gets nervous whenever the show him any sort of affection

He really is so good to his crush, even after they start dating. He just wants to be the best partner that he can be

Buys them things simply because it reminded him of them, or because he thought they would like it

Gets shy when the boys tease him for his crush

Honestly he’s just so boyfriend I love him so much

Seungmin

This man is already a different breed

His crush will not know about his feeling until he directly tells them

He wont act any different around his crush

He’s still gonna tease the hell out of them, though he never takes it too far

When it comes to his crush, literally nobody will know

It’s a complete shock even to the guys

Once he gets closer to telling them that he likes them, he might ease up a little bit on the teasing, but not enough for anything to be noticeable

Doesn’t really get shy around them, because he knows that nobody knows about his crush on them

Will do more things for them, but he usually has a sarcastic comment with it

“Minnie, can you bring me a coffee when we hang out?” “What am I, your sugar daddy?” Yet he still shows up with your favorite coffee regardless

Slowly starts to be more generous with his crush, but again, its not noticable

Not that he makes a conscious effort to keep things from them, more so that he just acts natural around whoever he is with

Regardless, he does do what he can to show that he supports them

If his crush is having a hard day, he’s there to support them

He really is their rock, even with how much teasing he passes, he’s always there to support them

Does things for his crush that are very subtle, but refuse to make anything known

Says that he’s just doing it to be nice, and that he would do it for anyone (whatever it is)

When he finally confesses, it’s honestly like dating your best friend

He doesn’t really change anything about how he acts, other than being more affectionate

Other than that, he’s still teasing the hell out of his crush

Menace with a soft heart for sure

I.N

Innie wont even realize he has a crush until someone tells him

Like he’s sitting with Chan one day, and Chan is like “why are you so different around y/n?”

Innie is like “I genuinely don’t know” and then starts talking more about it

Cue Chan “dude are you serious? You clearly like them”

Also cue innie shocked and confused face

Doesn’t realize that he acts different, it just sort of happens

His crush has an idea that he likes them, but they don’t want to make anything weird so he wont know that they know

He subconsciously looks through pictures that they have together

Or subconsciously only send them his OOTD

Always asks for their opinions on everything that he does

And if he is excited about something, they are always the first one to hear about it

Honestly they’re the first to know about literally everything

Styles their outfits when they ask for opinions, and really likes when they ask for his opinion on things

Trusts them with everything that he has

Opens up to them more about his thoughts and things that he is feeling

Especially when it comes to stress or when he feels like he could have done something better throughout the day

Always shows up to their place with some sort of food or drink

However, everything that he does for them is subconscious. He doesn’t realize any of it until someone tells him like “people only do that when they like someone”

And then it clicks in his head

With that, when he accepts it, he could either panic and retreat, or fully accept it and talk to them about it

Regardless, once he discovers why he acts they way he does around them, he’s gonna get shy, just because he doesn’t have a lot of experience in this realm

Still, he’s the sweetest menace to his crush

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marshmallowdarling · 1 year

Note

hi, i was wondering if u could write for a yandere batfam reaction to the batsis growing REALLY tall, like 6’0(opposite of ur short one). just overall head cannons on how they would react and such.

only do this if u can tho!!! i completely understand if u can’t, and i’m just glad i found out how asks work!! drink some water, sleep well, and have a wonder weekend!!!!

I kind of wanted to distance myself from Batfam stuff just because the only blogs I've seen bout them always turn into a Batfam blog bc of the demand and while I love them and I know some blog writers do love them like that I would rather not continue to write them.

But you anon are just so nice and cute how was I not supposed to???? 🥺

Also sorry for the delay in writing, I just didn't have any creative juices at all. I'm trying to get out of this funk so please send me asks!!

If you thought the batfam fed short foster! Reader then you haven’t seen anything yet!

Because your taller and bigger your body needs more food and they know this, so instead of them kind of backing off and making sure you eat no matter how big, NOW they will be feeding you 24/7!

They still keep the same type of snacks but now they try to keep protein on them, the bat mobile having a cooler into it now to keep everything fresh.

Tall reader! Still gets regular check up’s, making sure that you growing too fast doesn’t hurt you and that your body can support your new weight. Checking that your joints and bones are oki doki hoki poki!

Batfam! Worries about your height too, wondering if your height might give you some disadvantages with your body with age or if your genetics might give you something bad.

I’m sorry to say but if your taller than them you won’t be stronger than them, you still get picked up and they modify their holding styles to make sure your comfortable. Though Tim and Damian both have thought about if you could pick them up, Damian having once had a dream that he was on your shoulders while you were running through the manor, he was very huffy and pouty after and was even more of a brat for your attention that day even though he wouldn’t tell you why.

Dick once had a nightmare that you had grown as tall as a house and escaped, when he tried to bring you back home you just stepped over him like an ant. When he flung awake he immediately sneaked into your room to make sure you weren’t like his dream, he definitely listened to his old man and Alfred’s nagging about having some sort of sleep schedule after that.

If ANYONE says anything about your height or even looks at you the wrong way the whole family are going to torture them slowly but not before making a show of telling them off and praising you up and down for your height.

Clothes are tailored for you anyways no matter your height or gender so you never have to worry about nothing fitting, same with shoes. You get the grandest biggest bed they can get, bigger than an Alaska king sized bed as they had it made to order just for their little precious sibling.

That’s another thing too, your still their precious little thing. No matter how tall you are or how old you are, and they will not even think twice before reminding you about that.

“Aww aren’t you just a little precious thing. Hu? What do you mean your taller than me. Pfft- that doesn’t matter silly little cub, you aren’t as strong as us are you hmm? You still need your big boys to take care of you! There’s no shame in that little cub! We are more than happy to help!”

I head cannon that the BatBoys! Always show a range of body types in the magazines they pose for so best bet if your ever feeling low they will show you how beautiful and handsome your body is.

You never get mocked for being too tall but Jason does put things juuuust out of reach to ‘coincidently’ walk in on you struggling and tease you even if he himself can’t reach and needs to climb on something.

“You were just saying how tall you were, what happened hmm? That too far away from you?” He chuckles and teases you while he gets it down but gives your head pat while he’s up there.

I don’t put specific heights but it’s going to be rare that you are taller than them or all of them. Bruce is 6’2 (from a quick google search don’t kill me) and the boys are around the same so some of them might just be an inch or half an inch taller than you. Though even if you are taller than them it won’t change much, they will find ways to pat your head and give forehead kisses but back, arm and shoulder pats so come more frequent.

#yandere batman #soft yandere #soft!yandere #platonic batboys #platonic yandere batfam #platonic yandere #yandere chubby reader #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere x y/n #yandere x tall reader #yandere x tall darling #yandere x tall y/n

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moriartyluver · 9 months

Note

can we have some mtp boys (separate) on how they’d treat a fem! Reader who is on her period. You don’t need to make it historically accurate & if you’d prefer, you can make it modern au. Thank you!!!

A/N: I did this in a modern AU as suggested because I have no idea how people would have dealt with periods in the 19th century

Characters: William James Moriarty x fem! Reader , Albert James Moriarty x fem! Reader ,Louis James Moriarty x fem! Reader (separate)

Format: headcannons

Genre: hurt/ comfort, fluff

Prompt: the Moriarty brothers with a reader who is on their period.

Warnings: reader is afab, reader is female, established relationships, periods/menstruation etc.

LOUIS would be such a good partner in general so when you’re on your period? He is doing everything!

He’s already very much a househusband male wife kind of guy but it just gets so much more malewifey when you’re on your period

Oh you’re hot water bottle got slightly less warm? Louis is filling it up for your instantly

He will literally shower you in heating pads

I don’t think he’d be very physically affectionate in general, his love language is definitely acts of service and it’s very evident all the time, but if you ask to be held, hold you he will.

He’ll make you anything you want to eat no matter how strange (I always get really weird cravings on my period so if you do aswell, be prepared because Louis will stop at nothing to make you happy)

He has a whole storage cupboard packed with pads and tampons and whatever else you may use, all with your preferred sizes and brands because he’s just that caring. You never run out of pads or tampons with him around.

If any ones annoying you, he’ll be super pissed off and will actually get into a fight for your sake.

If you’re feeling emotional, he’ll be by your side reassuring you that everything’s okay. He’s a bit emotionally constipated but he tries his best for you.

If you ever need sheets to be washed or clothes to be cleaned, he won’t mind at all and he will definitely not get upset.

He himself doesn’t go out unless necessary so he’ll try stay at home with you all the time, just in case you need something (even if you insist that you’re fine)

Overall rating? 10/10 wifey material

WILLIAM probably knows more about your period than you do. Not in a gross mansplaining way but in a well educated husband kind of way

Like he definitely knows when you’re going to start you’re period based on symptoms and stuff before you get that little red surprise in your underwear. Worst feeling tbh.

He helps you learn how to track your cycle and if you’re an inconsistent period girlie like myself, he’s a great help. Imagine just getting ready to go out and then William tells you to make sure to take a pad/tampon/cup with you before you leave 💀

He pampers you too, especially if you live together, but not in the same way louis does.

He’s a bit more strict when it comes to what you should and shouldn’t eat (it’s the protective teacher in him). Liam makes you take magnesium supplements and makes sure you eat healthy even if you’re craving junk food so your cramps don’t get worse.

He’s probably calculated the perfect temperature for your heat pad/hot water bottle 😭

Probably a little more affectionate than his younger brother would be. If you’re complaining about being cold or uncomfortable, he’d put whatever book he’s reading down and hold his arms wide open for you. William absentmindedly rubs your back while listening to you complain about having a uterus

Definitely pressed kisses to your forehead while you ramble like the old fashioned lover he is 🤭

He makes sure to buy you really good quality pads/tampons and is sure to memorise which brands or types you prefer. Might slip a chocolate bar in there too. He also buys you painkillers and gives you the correct doses and everything at the right times

If you don’t feel like speaking much (he loves talking to you for some reason. its adorable) he gets a little upset but he’s a surprisingly good communicator. He doesn’t want to make you feel uneasy and bless his heart, he does all the chores and everything so you don’t have to suffer further while your uterus tries to fucking kill you

Overall rating? ∞/10 (I am totally not biased) I want to marry him idc if he’s a drawing

ALBERT is stupid. I’m sorry that’s a mean way to start off

I think we can all agree he has OCD or OCPD but he’s so sweet to you despite some seeing periods as a ‘Filthy’ thing.

You bled through the sheets? He’ll calmly help you fix that dw sweetie. If you bleed through your pants in public and anyone gives you any dirty looks or some weird shit because people hate uterus havers, he’s not called one of the most unhinged mtp characters for nothing 😊

Ok but this man knows nothing about periods though. I’m so sorry. Like you had to explain to him that no you can’t hold in the blood nor do you use your pad as a bandaid of some sort

Would probably send you one of these :(yes I made that)

He needs Louis to go shopping with him to help get you stuff because this man is smart enough for eton but not enough to know that different colours on pad packages are not flavours 🙄

Also he’s a shit cook so you still have to do that if u don’t wanna starve

Probably the most affectionate out of the brothers. He’s very cuddly with you when you need him to be (mainly because he feels bad for being so damn useless)

Overall rating? 2/10 💀

#moriarty the patriot #william james moriarty #william moriarty #william moriarty x reader #yuukoku no moriarty x reader #moriarty the patriot x reader #mtp william #yuukoku no moriarty #yuumori x reader

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rineedagger · 1 month

Text

Some things I've learned this pasts twenty six years

Do NOT alter your form and size to fit into somebody's ribcage. Authenticity is the ground for a healthy environment.

Authenticity can't exist without self-criticism and sticking to your core values.

A peaceful solitude is just as important as a nutritious companionship.

We aren't born knowing, not even of our own self. Wisdom is the fruit of life-long learning, therefore, making mistakes is the key to be and do better (this reminds me of the famously quote "Do not be sorry, be better" from Kratos lol).

Doubting, asking questions, is the concrete to build a fulfilling life.

Remaining the same does not imply to be more stable nor having a healthier life.

Easy and good are not synonyms.

Enough with the label bullshit and the blaming. It isn't about been or not been normal/right, your life/truth is yours only. Do not try to make sense of it using somebody else's eyes.

Medical checking is important. Nobody likes going to the doctor nor feeling sick (and yes, I am talking about going to the therapist and psychiatrist as well). It is part of been human and you will never be alone in the process.

Cooking life actively and over a low heat, is vital to have an appetizing full of flavour meal.

I'm never going to feel ready nor good enough.

Life isn't right nor makes sense. Do not try looking for the missing leg, you'll lose yourself in the process.

Communication is important, but not all communication matters. It has to be direct, understandable and, overall, precised. Overcommunication is as bad as the total absence of it, if not more painful.

Accepting and respecting are not the same thing. One is mandatory while the other, even important, isn't indispensable.

In order to live and not survive, you have to accept your own vulnerability and fragility.

Drinking water is always the good choice.

There will never be enough strawberries to satisfy the craving.

Whoever loves you today may not love you tomorrow, and that's okay.

There isn't such thing as good and bad emotions, rather comfortable and uncomfortable ones. And we must feel them all.

Setting boundaries with yourself and your surrounding is vital to be certain that, whoever remains by your side, is because they actively want you and love you, since there are parts of your self that are not negotiable. If not, you will always be the coach, the therapist, the mother, the sister, the helper, the clown, the mad one, the weirdo, the mysterious one, the thug, the whore, etc., but never you. Consequently, these means an assured expiry date plus food poisoning (I don't know why I'm comparing so much with food...maybe it's because I didn't eat strawberries for a while).

Social media has become a demanding, violent and sick place, filled with expectations, constant stimulation, manipulated or sensational information, rule-following, triggers, distortions and the possibility of been reachable to people that you don't need in your life. It is okay if you can't live in it. Also, if you're the reactive kind, set boundaries immediately with how you manage your social media and your exposure and be firm with it (believe me, I couldn't stand seen someone hating my friend on social media and saying lie after lie after lie...it was REALLY consuming and it leaded to impulsive and shameful acts).

If you are the one that overthinks or re-read texts after a fight, delete them.

Having life-long or very long friendships does not mean that you should cope with every mistreatment.

Do not remain by somebody else's side only because you pity them. Pityness and no compassion is vile.

The same with egotistical interests. The other person is a whole living being aside of yourself, if you put your own interests and greeds as the motivation of that relationship or over it, is vile.

The world is not trying to punish you for any mistake you've done nor for any joy you've experienced. That is, indeed, the process of living.

Boredom is a freaking gift, and a pleasure indeed.

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canaidliafail · 1 year

Text

invite

ellie williams x f!reader 🌿

[ part 2 ]

Ellie invites you to a party which she comes all ready and strapped up for.

proof read by God and a prayer so Ill provide some holy water as an apology. so….theres mostly sexual tension but let me know if you want me to write a part two. idk. Was heavily self indulgent but if you enjoy it Ill be happy to know so

2k words

MDI

“what?” she laughed getting all coy and shy with you, her shoulders slightly rising to hide her face

“You look really pretty” you smiled and reached out to fix a stray hair that fell in her face neatly tucking it behind her ear

“Oh shut up” she said and gently shoved your shoulder. You pushed yourself away from the fence and walked back into the house writing down your entry

3 runners

1 clicker

Was a good day overall. You looked up to see her walk in, a hand around the nape of her neck while she looked anywhere but at you

“Yes, williams?” you teased

“We are having a party tonight. Will you join?”

“hm…” you pursed your lips and turned to lean against the table fiddling with the pen in your hand, tossing and turning it in your fingers

“Who’s we?” you asked playfully and she rolled her eyes

“Well Dina, and jesse and-“

she went on trying to remember and list every possible person who would come and you had to laugh at how seriously she took everything you said

“I'll come. Not for long since I'm out on patrol early tomorrow but I'll join you for a bit” you said and turned back to the book log to note down some notes.

Ellie looked your figure up and down. You insisted on wearing shorts over thick leggings for practicality though she knew you did it cause they accentuated your ass shape better than jeans. Your puffed up jacket with its fur giving you a positively roguish look and those dirty old combat boots

Rare to see a fashionista these days. At first it drove her insane

“You've gotta be shitting me. I'm not going on patrol with her” she tried to pull every string without getting anywhere till she settled on that well, some days just don't go your way

so she rode shimmer and let you take the lead being always a few steps behind. That was until she saw you in combat. Oh you know what stealth meant and you wielded that bow with a hawk's eye. Nothing could get past you

and that's when she understood that you dressed whichever way pleased you, because you were just that confident in your skills.

God she loved everything about you. Too much almost. It took her a good few months to come to terms with it but once she did she found herself looking at you like a lovesick puppy.

suddenly all those girl-ish things she hated became endearing and she was excited to see your name next to hers on schedule the same way she was boiling with rage when she saw you paired up with someone else.

“williams?” she snapped out of her thoughts and looked at you again standing a few inches away from her

“Ah there you are. Were you thinking of tits again?” You teased and Ellie gasped and frowned in shock unable to get used to your vulgar tone and freedom of lewd speech

“Shut up”

“what no shame in it. I do it all the time” you tossed the hint and she latched onto it harder than she held onto life these days.

She does too?

and that's when she bit her lip, ravenous. She was going to make a move at the party and she was going to make it matter

•••

You've had your eyes set on Williams for a while now. Ever since she dated that artist girl that gave her,her tattoo. You were content admiring her from the side as some unattainable type of college crush. Made your mornings fun and gave you something to think about occasionally.

That was until she broke up and you slowly noticed how she gave you more and more attention. How her scoffs turned into chuckles and her frown turned into soft wrinkles around her eyes when she laughed at your poor taste in jokes

You never knew that this is what it felt like to be noticed by her, because it was something else. The first time you wore shorts out on patrol was an accident. You overslept due to a date leading to an eventful night and so you left the house in a hurry. You played it off with false confidence acting as if you intended to look that way out on patrol but once you saw how ellies eyes were fixated on your thighs and ass, oh boy did that change the game.

She didn't say much but her eyes were devouring you out in the open. That night you were painfully aroused and wet and a one night stand seemed like a fruitless attempt to quench your thirst. tonight you prayed that the reason she invited you over to hangout with her friends was due to an ulterior motive

You wore a skirt you had attempted to re-style by mixing the fabric of your exs cargo pants and tucked in a baggy T giving you the effortless look you always strived to achieve . You'd have to be hung upside down and burned before you admitted to anyone how much time you spent on your appearance and how much it actually mattered to you.

with one final look you tested out your movements and expressions in front of your mirror to make sure nothing fell out of line and grabbed your backpack. You reached the house at the far end of the town and knocked. Dina greeted you with that warm smile she always gave everyone

she whistles and gave you a side hug “You have a way of making everyone stop to look at you” you chuckled “Oh you flatter me”

she took you downstairs to the basement where the true party was happening. Music, drinks and lights coming out of the fog from the weed. Oh Ellie really did mean a party.

“Come , make yourself comfortable. Think ellie is pouring herself another drink over there” she said and gave you a knowing look which you couldn’t entirely grasp considering you had barely talked with the woman before

You didn’t even want to know where the hell did they find all of these supplies or who and what they traded them for but you sure as hell was going to enjoy it all. You took your time greeting everyone, stopping a bit longer with a few to exchange more than a greeting and rushing your way through the ones you ghosted after a one night stand finally reaching your destination. The table with the drinks. You started pouring yourself one when you felt a very familiar set of arms wrap around your waist

“You did come!” you smiled, your cheeks heating up realizing how close to your face, ellies was. you turned around with an easy smile and cocked a brow

“Well how could I miss it?” You scanned her outfit and your eyes stayed a moment too long on her pants noticing how baggy they were, and then the rolled up sleeves of her oversized hoodie. Oh this was an entirely different Ellie

“What?” she said with a soft frown “Something about my looks?” she questioned and her head dropped to scan her clothes. You shook your head

“No. You look different. That's all” hot, would be the correct word but you restrained from coming on too strong this soon. You still were unsure of her intentions after all

“Well like a good different or..?” she tried and took a step closer one arm on the table leaning against you and surprisingly towering over you slightly. your throat was dry and you were sure the bass held nothing against the beating of your heart.

“Wouldn't you like to know” was the best you could say your voice not as confident as you wanted it to sound but she seemed more than pleased with what she got out of you. She pulled out a joint out of her pocket and tucked it behind her ear

“Ellie, you coming?”

“Yeah on my way” she said, not breaking eye contact with you. She pushed herself away from the table and with a smirk winked at you “I'll see you around” and went Dinas way to see what she needed.

You breathed out a sigh of relief and downed whatever you had poured in your cup in an attempt to gather yourself together. Oh this would be difficult

——

Card games weren't your forte so you settled for a quick round of beer pong, which mind you, hardly any of the cups contained beer alone. One round after the other and now you found yourself with enough confidence to join some other girls dancing to the music and lip syncing with them. It had been a while since you let loose like that and so you gave it your all trying to ignore the gnawing fear of the fact that Ellie was nowhere to be seen. You wondered if she had found someone else for the night and thus changed her plans of pursuing you. So you just did what you knew how to do best

Ignore your problems

The girl in front of you seemed cute enough to make a pass at and she did seem like she was expecting something more out of you given how she had her arms around your neck and grinder her hips against yours. You acted oblivious,indulging her provocative dance with moves of your own knowing that perhaps you were the main attraction of everyone else in the room at that moment. Not that it mattered. Half of these fuckers were zooted out of their minds probably, high on crappy weed or questionable alcohol.

She whispered in your ear calling you by your last name “You are gonna make a move or are you just gonna keep me high and dry all night?” And you barked a laugh not ready for a response, that thankfully you didn't have to give when you were yanked back from your waist by the star of the night

Ellie

“Sorry I think she had a little too much to drink” she said with a smile but her tone was more of a threat than anything. You glared at her for a moment unsure of why you were angry as she dragged you away by your waist and leaned against the wall

“Can I go now?” You tried but she pulled your body closer, your back flush against her chest. You found out a very dangerous piece of information in that second as your ass found her hips that should have been flat. But there was a delicious bump.

She came strapped

You turned in her embrace and realized if there was anyone who may have been drunk and needed fresh air that was her. Her lips were parted as she stared at you contemplating something seemingly lost in her own moment.

“Wanna go out for some fresh air?” You offered and she nodded, grabbing your hand and taking you out of the basement to the backyard. She looked around at the misty empty space and walked to one of the couches still not letting go of your wrist. She sat down and pulled you with no hesitation on your lap “So who was that girl?” She questioned you immediately, a slight warning in her tone that you ate up right away

“Ah, she was cute wasnt she?” You teased liking the idea that you made her jealous. Hell she had abandoned you for most of the night so you might as well take your revenge now

“Is that what you think?” She asked brows raised accepting your challenge. You knew she had the upper hand in this but you wouldn't dare let her know that

“I do, which is why I’m upset at you for so rudely interrupting us. Where the hell were you anyways, Williams?” You asked hoping your voice gave the jab that it intended and she just smirked pulling out the unsmoked blunt that was tucked on her ear

“Then by all means, you can go back in, dance and grind the night away” You felt like you would cry. This would be the first time a woman would’ve brought you to tears so fast and so quick but that thought faded away like smoke “Or…” she added

You quickly made yourself comfortable in her lap,sitting sideways,legs tossed over the armchair, excitement bubbling in your chest once again

“Or?” You urged her to continue and she took her damn sweet time lighting up the blunt and taking a long fat drag that she breathed out in endless waves and ripples from the side of her lips “Or you can stay here, and find out when being with a woman really is about” She said with booming confidence. Thank God you were seated cause your knees would’ve given out on you right then and there. She passed you the blunt like she was asking you to sign an agreement of choosing sides and you grabbed it,no hesitation to be found

“You sure do know how to make a girl feel special” You tried to hide how flustered you were and hoped your remark would avert her attention away from your thighs that you tried to close tighter to provide some kind of friction, or comfort to your aching now core

“Am I wrong though?” She continued and you stared at her long and hard while taking another drag and passing her the blunt again

“Wrong about what?” You felt dumb but you were glad to see her entertained

“You want me. It's why you’re here so willingly sitting on my lap. You never gave a fuck about that girl in the first place” She said reading right through you

“I-“ your throat was dry and your cheeks were burning. She moved her face closer to yours,one arm very loosely hanging around your shoulder, scratching leisurely at your back making you shiver. She cocked her head to the side slowly and her eyes fell on your lips.

“I knew your bark was worse than your bite” She said with affection almost and pulled you in for a long and hard kiss

Ellie was a good kisser you realized. Your mind strayed quickly wondering if she could eat you out that skillfully as well as she moved her tongue and lips on yours with such passion and hunger that made you elicit the most whorish and loud moans,drowned out by her mouth.

You have never been more turned on by this act alone yet you quickly switched positions and turned around to fully sit on her lap,legs on either side of her thighs, dry humping her crotch and grasping at her cropped hair needing more, not wanting to ever break away from this kiss. She ushered you further by bringing your hips even closer to the point where you were perfectly seated against her clothed strap on.

You whimpered and she pulled away for a second panting and looking down with a soft smile “somethings wrong?” You asked suddenly insecure and uncertain of what happened and she just shook your head “No just, You drive me crazy” She growled and dove back for another kiss determined to pull out more of those lovely sounds you made. She experimentally thrusted her hips up that made you gasp out loud breaking the kiss “I have to know” you tried to say between the continuous kisses that ellie showered you with “hm?” She asked not breaking contact from your skin and nibbling on your neck now, bruising it,decorating it with bite marks.

“Why did you come strapped? Who were you after?”

And she laughed, laying further down,her spine against the tilted back of the couch and with you almost laying on top of her. She spread her legs further and in queue you did so as well, almost whining at the loss of friction.

“Oh I knew I wanted to fuck you from the second I gave you that invite today morning”

She roughly bit your neck now and you moaned,loud and clear,praying that no one was at the upper floor of the house cause they would’ve surely heard that

“In fact I wanted to bend you over that table and take you then and there but I wanted to do this right. To be slow and gentle” she whispered against your skin, her fingers slipping beneath your hoodie and teasing the hem of your bra not quite giving you the much needed release from the desired contact.

“But fuck do you make it difficult for me to hold back”

She hissed and her hips, grinding against yours with more fervor than before as she went in for another open mouthed kiss, her velvet tongue stroking yours, almost spelling out her name, claiming you as hers.

“We can go slow from tomorrow” you said panting unable to bear any more teasing“Today I want you to fuck me like the animal in heat that you are Williams” You said and she grabbed your hair turning the two of you around in the couch with her on top of you and kicked your legs open

“Oh I will”

#ellie williams x reader #eillie x reader #ellie williams #MDI

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