#acotar one shot

[flickering-chandelier]

You Drew Stars Around My Scars

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Summary: Azriel and Reader meet one day and the connection is instantaneous. Azriel becomes worried though, when Reader starts showing up late to their dates more consistently. When the truth comes out, they need to figure out how to keep moving forward.

Based on this request! Thank you for sending it in, I hope you like it! 🩷

Word Count: 3.8k

The market was bustling today and Azriel cringed slightly, pulling his wings in even tighter behind him. He had no idea why Amren had insisted that he be the one to pick up the items she needed for her new project. Perhaps because she knew that he would be the least likely to complain. 

He was approaching the stall that carried what Amren needed when his gaze snagged on someone at a neighboring one and he stopped dead in his tracks, causing the people around him to curse and move around him, irritated.

Azriel barely heard it though, his attention fully on you. You had a simple dress on, but it accentuated your curves beautifully, your hair was loose, falling down your back in ringlets. The way you moved was graceful as you picked up an item to inspect. 

But your smile as you talked to the owner of the stall, the way it lit up your face with such kindness… that is what made Azriel’s knees feel like they were about to give out.

He longed to approach you, but by the time that he had come to his senses enough to start moving, you too had moved, working your way through the market. It was so crowded that he lost track of you. 

Crestfallen, he went back to the stall and got the supplies for Amren. 

---

Days later, Azriel still could not get you out of his mind. That damn smile haunted his dreams and his every waking moment. 

So much so, that at the earliest opportunity, he went back to the market, his eyes raking the crowd for any sign of you. He seriously contemplated flying up to a rooftop for a better angle, but that would probably be frowned upon. 

He perused the market, feeling a bit foolish. The Night Court’s spymaster, reduced to wandering around the market on his day off like a lost puppy in hopes of finding a woman he didn’t even know.

His spirits lifted dramatically though, when he saw you. You were perusing a stall, inspecting a jar with a shiny liquid inside. 

Azriel didn’t let himself hesitate this time, dodging people milling about as he strode for you. Eventually, he appeared at your side, and you looked up at him, so surprised to suddenly see a large, looming male next to you, that you dropped the jar that you were holding.

Smoothly, he caught it before it hit the ground and offered it to you. Your eyes sparked with recognition as you studied him: the wings, the Illyrian clothing, the shadows twirling around his biceps. 

Your fingers brushed his as you took the jar back from him and you murmured, “Thank you.”

He nodded, offering you a faint smile, not sure what to say. He hadn’t thought this far ahead.

“You’re the High Lord’s shadowsinger,” you said, looking up at him, sounding a little breathless.

“I am. But most people just call me Azriel,” he said, a note of humor edging his voice.

That smile you had offered the others before was now turned on him, and he felt as if the ground was swaying underneath him. You offered him your name, before saying, “I feel a bit like I’m meeting a celebrity.”

Azriel could feel slight heat in his cheeks, and tried to maintain the neutral expression he nearly always wore. He waved his hand dismissively, “Trust me, I’m not. Cassian is more of the celebrity. I mostly blend into the shadows.”

You tilted your head, looking up at him from beneath your lashes, studying the hard line of his jaw, his hazel eyes, the curve of his mouth. “That’s a shame,” you said, a little wistfully.

Azriel’s heart was thundering now. “Do you want to get dinner?” 

Your smile widened. “I think I can make that happen. Tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow,” he agreed. 

You picked the restaurant and the time, and just like that, Azriel had a date.

---

The date was, in his opinion, nothing short of amazing. 

He had arrived a bit early to dinner, and you waltzed up to the restaurant exactly on time, looking like a vision. Part of your hair was braided around your head like a crown, but part was still flowing down over your shoulders, curled. Your dress hugged the curve of your waist, the hem landing midway down your shin, perfect for the summer. 

You beamed as you approached him, and Azriel had to concentrate to keep his breathing steady. The two of you were seated outside, watching the sun set over the river. 

The conversation was easy. You kept it light and playful, grazing your hand against his bicep every once in a while when you laughed, the sound bright and beautiful.

Flirting, he realized. You were flirting with him. Laughing with him. Making him laugh.

Mother, when was the last time he had felt like this?

Had he ever felt like this?

After dinner ended, you stood up and gently took his hand in yours, tugging lightly so he stood up too, towering over you. “Do you want to take a walk?” you asked, your eyes sparkling under the stars that were out by then. 

“Lead the way,” he said, one side of his mouth turning up into a smile.

You led him to the artists’ quarter, the lights vibrant against the night. He watched as your eyes lit up at the site, marveling at all the artwork, the people milling about. 

“Oh, look!” you exclaimed, excitedly pulling him to a painting of the mountains surrounding Velaris. “It’s beautiful,” you told the painter, who nodded in thanks, smiling.

Azriel couldn’t help but stare as you took in the painting, your eyes alight. 

“Are you a painter?” he asked.

“I try to be,” you grinned at him. “I’m not very good.”

Before he could respond, another painting caught your eye and you gasped, tugging on his hand, leading him through the crowd. Azriel laughed, and you turned back to smile at him, your whole face lighting up. His heart swelled.

On and on you went, his lifeboat pulling him through the sea of artists. He could have gone on like that forever, he thought. 

You were about to pull him to another painting when you suddenly turned to him, flushed. “I’m sorry,” you said. “I’ve gotten carried away, haven’t I?”

Azriel shook his head, smiling. “Not at all.”

You smiled, seeming shy all of a sudden. “It’s late,” you said. “I should probably head back.” 

“Can I walk you home?”

Your smile grew and you nodded your head for him to follow. Your arms brushed as you walked, taking in the night air. 

It was a short walk to your house, and you stopped before the door and smiled up at him. “Thank you, Azriel. Tonight was… amazing.”

Azriel couldn’t help but smile back at you. “It was.”

You stood on your tiptoes and kissed his cheek lightly before turning to the door, and Azriel said your name, stopping you before you could open it. “Can I see you again?”

You beamed. “Meet me by the Rainbow in two days?”

Smirking, Azriel said, “Absolutely.”

---

Azriel could hardly focus on anything else while he waited to see you again. His friends absolutely knew something was up with him, but did not pester him about it. Yet. 

Two days after the initial date, Azriel was waiting in the Rainbow, where you had told him you wanted to meet. 

He waited. And waited.

Trying to stomp down his growing anxiety that you wouldn’t show, he gazed at the art around him. You had been right on time to your first date. Had you changed your mind about him?

He was about to walk through the artists’ quarter, wondering if he had not remembered correctly where you wanted to meet, when you finally arrived, your cheeks flushed, but you looked beautiful as ever. 

“I’m so sorry,” you said, a little breathless. “Something came up -- it’s hard to explain. I swear I tried to be on time.” 

Azriel was just glad that you had come. “It’s alright,” he smiled reassuringly. 

Your eyes twinkled under the stars, relieved. “Thank you.”

His smile widened and he lightly squeezed your upper arm, trying to soothe you. 

You smiled slowly and arched an eyebrow, mischief written all over your face. “So, I had an idea.”

“I’d love to hear it.”

Laughing, you said, “Let’s go dancing.”

Azriel’s smile dropped. You laughed even more. “Dancing,” he repeated. 

“Dancing,” you grinned.

“I can’t dance.” 

“Oh, please. Everyone can dance.” 

“Not me,” Azriel said, smiling despite himself.

“Please,” she murmured, taking a step closer to him and looking up at him from under her lashes. “For me?”

Azriel sighed, raking a hand through his hair. You knew you already had him wrapped around his little finger. “Fine.”

You squealed with delight, taking his hand in yours and walking in the direction of the Velaris night clubs. Azriel tried to focus on the positives: your soft hand in his, how happy you were, how your hair bounced as you walked.

By the time you got to the nightclub, Azriel’s felt like his heart was in his throat. He really did not dance.

But you strode right in, glancing back at him with the biggest smile on your face. You led him right into the middle of the crowd of people pulsing with the music. 

He stood still and watched as you moved your hips, your arms up above your head, twirling around like you didn’t have a care in the world. I could easily fall in love with this woman, he thought. Easily.

You turned back to him and laughed brightly, placing your hands on his hips, trying to make them move. He didn’t budge, which made you laugh even more. “Come on, shadowsinger. Live a little!”

He wanted to, if only to make you happy, but he couldn’t focus on anything but your hands on him and that smile that knocked the breath out of his lungs.

Studying him for a moment, you said over the music, “Okay, I see we need to try a different tactic,” you said, taking his hand in yours and leading him to the edge of the dance floor, where it was less crowded. 

You stepped right up to him then, so your bodies were barely an inch away. You took both of his hands and settled them on your hips, then placed your hands on his shoulders. 

“Don’t think so much, just move,” you said, your voice light and teasing. 

He towered over you, watching as you moved your hips, lightly pushing and pulling on his shoulders so he would move with you. It took nearly a full song, but eventually his body relaxed, letting himself be guided by you.

“There you go,” you grinned. 

Suddenly, the song slowed significantly, and you looked up at him, becoming slightly shy again. 

He gazed down at you, smiling faintly as he pulled you in closer to him, keeping one hand at your waist and taking one of your hands in his. 

Azriel swore he saw your breath catch as you studied his face, eyes slightly wide. Azriel tightened his grip on you slightly when your eyes dipped to his mouth and lingered there. 

Holding his breath, he leaned in slowly, stopping a breath away from your lips, giving you a moment to back up if you wanted to. But, you surged forward, connecting your mouth with his. 

He smiled into the kiss, bringing a scarred hand up to gently cup your cheek. 

You wrapped your arms around his neck, deepening the kiss, and as the music swelled to a crescendo, he wrapped his arms tightly around your waist, lifting you off the ground. You gasped into his mouth, bending your knees as he held you in the air. 

Gently, he set you down a few moments later, and when he pulled back, you were smiling, your cheeks dusted red. 

“That might have been the most romantic thing that’s ever happened to me,” you said, your tone teasing, but your eyes alight. 

“Me too,” Azriel murmured, unable to tear his gaze away from your beautiful face. 

The two of you spent hours together, and Azriel found himself unable to keep his hands off you. You seemed the same way, always placing a hand on his arm, on his shoulder, while he rested his hand on your hips, the small of your back, or held your hand in his. 

For hours, he watched you dance, and willed his body to move with you, only because your eyes shined, your smile bright, when he did so.

At the end of the night, he walked you home once again, this time pulling you in by the waist and kissing you until you were breathless, twining his hand into your soft hair, your hands on his face.

---

Weeks passed, and the two of you kept meeting as often as your schedules would allow. 

Azriel would have been on cloud nine… except that he was starting to have his doubts. When the two of you were together, it was amazing, a connection and energy that he had never felt with anybody before. In the privacy of his own mind, he was even willing to concede that he had absolutely fallen for you.

But he couldn’t pretend that everything was perfect. You had been late to nearly every date. He would always be unnerved waiting for you, thinking that this would be the time that you would leave him hanging, never to be heard from again. But then, you would come, always breathless, like you had rushed to get there, and would apologize profusely, but never giving an explanation. Azriel couldn’t help but wonder if you were not as interested in him as he was in you.

He considered talking to Cassian or Rhys about it, but had a suspicion that they would not be very helpful.

So eventually, he decided just to talk to you about it. He didn’t want you to feel like you had to keep seeing him if you didn’t want to.

There was clearly movement in your house as he approached. He took a deep breath before knocking.

Your eyes were wide in surprise, but not unhappy, when you opened the door. “Azriel,” you smiled. “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to talk to you,” he said, quietly. 

You opened your mouth to respond, but before anything could come out, a little boy, a toddler came running to the door, stopping dead in his tracks when he saw Azriel hulking in the doorway. 

The boy gaped at Azriel, his mouth hanging open in shock, before turning to you, “Mom! That’s the shadowsinger!” he squealed, running up to said shadowsinger and wrapping his tiny arms around Azriel’s legs, his head not even meeting Azriel’s knees. The boy looked up at Azriel in awe, “you are so cool.”

Azriel’s head spun, trying to process the information in front of him, but he couldn’t focus over the feeling of his heart absolutely melting as he gazed at this boy, full of such joy. He patted the boy’s back, smiling. “You think so?”

He nodded vigorously, his curly hair that matched his mother’s flicking over his eyes. “I wish I could be a spy.”

Azriel grinned. “I can teach you, if your mom says it’s okay.”

The boy gasped, and Azriel looked at you for the first time since your son had made himself known. You looked like you were about to cry, your hands clasped in front of you. He couldn’t tell if that was a good thing or not.

“Honey, why don’t you go play for a little bit?” you said, your voice slightly shaky, steering your son into the other room. “Mom has to talk to Mr. Shadowsinger about grownup stuff for a little bit.”

He pouted a bit, but did as he was told, reluctantly untangling himself from Azriel and toddling into the next room.

You sighed when you were alone with Azriel, searching his face.

“This is why you’ve been late,” Azriel said, his voice thick with emotion.

You nodded. “I’m sorry.”

Azriel took your hand in his, trying to ground himself. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

Your eyes filled with tears, and Azriel’s heart cracked. “Most males aren’t interested in raising someone else’s kid. And I liked you… I was too scared to lose you.”

There was no breath in Azriel’s lungs. He ached for you, for what you had no doubt been through with other males who you tried to date. He wanted to rip them to shreds. Slowly, he leaned down, gently kissing each tear away. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” he said softly, leaning his forehead against yours. “Not unless you want me to.” 

You sniffed, looking up at him through damp lashes. “I don’t want you to.”

Azriel smiled softly. “Good,” he murmured, pulling you into his chest, resting his chin on the top of your head.

You stayed like that for a while, holding each other, before he asked, “What’s his name?”

“Jax.”

“Do you think Jax has it in him to be a spymaster?”

You laughed against his chest, and Azriel smiled into your hair. “I think he can be whatever he wants to be.”

He pulled back to look at you, tilting his face down to meet your eye. “Do you want me in his life? If it’s too soon, that’s okay. But I would love to get to know him, eventually.”

That beautiful smile shone on your face as you said, “I would love that.”

For the rest of the afternoon, Azriel taught Jax how to be a spy. They ran around the house, ducking behind furniture, following invisible enemies. 

Azriel glanced at you periodically, reveling in the bright smile on your face, your eyes shining. 

---

Jax became an important fixture in Azriel’s life, often accompanying your dates around Velaris. One day, Azriel had recruited Feyre to help get you all into a painting class for all ages. 

You grinned as Azriel led you and Jax into the studio set up with paints and easels. There were a few other families there, setting up their work stations. 

“Azriel, will you make a painting with me?” Jax asked, his green eyes wide as he looked up at Az.

“Are you sure you don’t want to make your own?” Azriel asked.

Jaz nodded. “I’m sure,” he said, taking Azriel’s hand and leading him to the paint station to pick out colors. Jax chose color after color, handing them all to Azriel, who was grinning, trying to keep hold of all the paints. 

You beamed, your heart full as you watched your son and Azriel together, laughing as they painted together. The easel was set up for Jax to reach it, so Az was sitting on the floor in order to reach it whenever Jax demanded that he contribute to their painting. 

Azriel was smiling and laughing with the boy, adding in elementary looking trees and bushes wherever Jax instructed him. 

By the end, they had a painting that looked very much like a toddler made it. It was nearly impossible to tell who had painted what: Jax or Azriel. 

You laughed as Azriel showed it off to you with a flourish, Jax excitedly bouncing on his toes. “Mom, can we hang this up at home?”

“Of course we can,” you grinned, your heart swelling at Azriel’s soft, loving smile.

Azriel came up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder to look at your painting while Jaz was busy admiring his own painting. 

“I thought you said you weren’t very good,” Azriel murmured, his heart swelling as he took in the painting that you had created.

It was of that day, of Azriel and Jax painting together. Jax happily paints while Azriel sits on the floor, grinning at him, holding the palette of paint up for Jax to use.

“Do you like it?” you said quietly. 

“I love it,” he said, nuzzling your neck. “I love you.”

He felt you stiffen beneath his fingers and froze. He had just realized that was the first time he had told you. 

You twisted in his arms, turning to face him, your eyes shining. “I love you too, Az.”

Azriel’s knees nearly buckled with relief. He gave you a quick, sweet kiss, wishing he wasn’t in public. 

---

By Starfall, the three of you were really starting to feel like a family, and Azriel had never been happier. Cassian and Rhys teased him about it relentlessly, but he knew it was because they were happy for their brother who had finally found happiness like they had.

Azriel kept by your side, his hand on the small of your back as you navigated the crowded balcony on the House of Wind, Jax holding onto your hand. 

The three of you had spent the beginning of the celebration with the rest of Azriel’s family, and even though they had met before, Jax remained completely enamored with Feyre, Rhysand and Cassian, asking them a million questions about being the High Lady, High Lord, and the commander of armies, respectfully. The three just laughed, going along with it until Azriel deemed it was time to give his brothers and his High Lady a break. 

The three of you stood together, holding hands, looking to the sky as the music started and the spirits started to move across the sky, slowly at first, and then thousands of them, shooting across the world like shooting stars. 

Jax watched awestruck for a few minutes before he noticed that there were children playing a game on the far side of the balcony, and he looked to you excitedly, running over to them after you had nodded.

“Stay where we can see you!” Azriel called after him.

You turned to Azriel, hugging his waist, gazing up into his eyes lovingly. 

“What?” Azriel smiled, sliding his hand down your back, making you shiver.

“I’ve just never been this happy,” you murmured.

“I haven’t either,” Azriel said softly, leaning down to kiss you. 

Azriel pulled your body into his then, leading you into a slow, romantic dance underneath the falling stars. 

“Happy Starfall,” he said, gazing down at you with all the love in the world.

“Happy Starfall, Az,” you said.

#acotar one shot #acotar fic #acotar x reader #acotar #azriel x reader #azriel #azriel acotar #azriel fluff #azriel one shot #azriel x you #azriel fanfic #azriel fic #request

[illyrian-dreamer]

Make a bargain with me

Rhys x reader angst/fluff one shot

Summary: Your unrequited love for your High Lord has seen you distancing yourself not just from Rhys, but the entire inner circle. Rhys is concerned, and confronts you.

Word count: 2.2k

--------

You shifted uncomfortably under Rhys’s stare, keeping your eyes fixed the night’s horizon, still with anticipation of starfall that was yet to begin.

“What’s going on Y/N?” he asked softly. 

He had sprung you from your hideaway. It was stupid, really, to think you could escape him, or that he wouldn't follow. 

Tonight on Starfall, when your family and friends were drinking and laughing and toasting to a better year ahead, you had held yourself back, observing from the sidelines, longing to partake as you had each year before.

But things were different now, you were different. It had been a stressful year to say the least – too many losses, too many sacrifices made on missions that you couldn’t come to terms with. Choices made, last words said – the turmoil of your mistakes was a constant loop in your mind, each of your missions weighing heavier than the last, a little piece of you left behind on along the way.

And where you would usually confess or turn to your family for the support you desperately craved, it was all skewed by the devastating, gut-wrenching love you had developed for your High Lord.

You wondered what your friends might say – their snorts and sorry smiles as you dreamed of a life with not just any High Lord, but the High Lord of the Night Court, who was only just finding his feet. 

It was only shy of a decade since Rhys lost his sister and mother, leaving the male to wade through the trenches of grief alone, which were only deepened by the weight of responsibility as he assumed position as High Lord of the Night Court. You hadn't known him before he recruited you to the inner circle, but in your few years of working for Rhys, he had aged, maturing into his title and proving himself as a true and honest leader.

And in those years, not once had you seen him take to a lover or celebrate romance in his life. You knew that your love for Rhys would be nothing more than an imposition – a burden for him to manage in a world where he was not ready to love again, especially not someone like you. 

But concealing your feelings had a very true affect in physicality – you were plagued with guilt, rigid  by unrequited, unconfessed love practically bursting to come out. Skittish manoeuvres to avoid his touch, aloofness at times where you were known to share and console – you had done excellent work to distance yourself from Rhys, and with it the rest of the inner circle. 

Even the blatant probing by Cassian to open up, or gentle suggestions from Azriel to join them on flights went politely declined as you assured them you were fine. And the times where your work was too much, when you needed to tell your High Lord the burdens you were baring and seek comfort from him as a friend – instead you bottled it up, unsure of what you might confess and afraid of the very real affect of someone who was not yet ready to love. 

Rhysand had been particularly observant tonight. Your own behaviour was predictable as of late, but after the first bashful glances to the ground, reddened cheeks where you used to bite back, and the distant, distracted manner in which you watched on – you felt watchful violet eyes on you all evening.

The tipping point had been Rhysand’s speech, a glass of auburn liquid raised high as he spoke to his sincere care and affection for each of you in his circle. He was thankful for all of you, for being the self-made family he could have only ever dreamed of having. But as he spoke to each of the members, starting with his second-in-charge, followed by Mor, Cassian then Azriel, you had slipped from the room before he could get to you. 

Because in that speech - he had shown that he still loved, just not in the way that you craved. And if you had learnt anything through both your career at the Night Court and from Rhys himself – it was that happiness could be stolen in an instant. 

So you fled, heart thumping as you craved fresh air – overwhelmed with cyclical thoughts and foolish amounts of fae wine. 

After a polite ten minutes, Rhys had followed, finding the flattened patch of roof you often sought out after long missions, now stripping you bare under his gaze.

“Y/N?”

“Hm?”

Rhys winced with worry. “I asked what’s going on with you?”

You forced a small smile, keeping your breathing as even as you could. You were trained to stay calm when interrogated, but somehow this was harder than some of the life threatening circumstances you had endured. It was almost laughable.

"Nothing at all," you forced your eyes to his, your stomach dropping at his beauty.

Rhys’s face remained concerned, completely unconvinced. 

“Is it work?”

“No.” A half-truth.

Rhys nodded, a sense of relief that his court was not to blame.

A few moments of silence, you were burning from within, cheeks flushing yet again. You allowed for a moment to imagine his reaction if you were to tell him. Imagined his face as you confessed your feelings for him – your High Lord, your employer. How ridiculous and wildly inappropriate. 

Your face flushed a deeper pink at the shame of it. Rhys’s eyes dotted to your cheeks, not missing a thing.

He leveled a look at you. “You can always be honest with me.” You felt a gentle caress on your mental shields, and it was an instinct you cursed yourself for to seize them higher at his touch.

You moved your eyes back to the horizon, sighing with frustration. He was here, he cared – perhaps you could just, try?

“How did you do it?” you asked ominously, a pained frown pulling at your brow.

Rhys shifted at your question, brows raising in surprise. “Do what?”

You cleared your throat. “How did you let yourself love again, when you know how quickly it can be taken away?”

Rhys nodded slowly, violet eyes softening with understanding.

“Would you believe me if I said it was easy?” he replied.

You gave a small laugh, looking down at your hands. “No, actually.”

“Well it was.”

Another beat of silence. 

“Opening my home to all of you, creating this family is the easiest thing I’ve ever done, because it was meant to be.”

You nodded back. You would never tell him how easy it is for you to fall in love with him too. How quickly it had happened, how natural it felt for you.

“I would risk everything I have to have to keep you all safe and content, even just for one more day.”

His words struck you. Risk – there was too much to lose.

“I would risk everything I have for anyone I love, I think,” he continued. “I know that now, that it’s important to let go of what I can’t control, and let myself risk it all.”

He loved your family so dearly – it felt traitorous to indulge in the idea that your love could evolve past the sincere platonic form that it took now. You were greedy, spoilt.

“But that doesn’t just apply to my love for my court.”

Huh?

“As you know, anyone I care for is automatically a target beyond Velaris. My brothers, Mor, Amren.” Rhys paused. “And you.”

You looked up at him, his violet eyes unreadable as stars winked in their depths.

“I don’t want you to risk what you have for me,” your voice was barely a whisper, and you wondered if he sensed the deeper implication of your words.

Rhys wore a soft, sideways smile as he spoke. “You are well worth the risk.”

You were sure he could hear your fastened heart, no longer able to conceal your feelings. For a year your secret had lived at the tip of your tongue, threatening to ruin everything you had. It was too much to bare.

Silent tears started to run down your cheeks.

Rhys’s eyebrows clenched in concern, and he stepped towards you, reaching to brush them away with a stroke of of his cool fingers. You tried to step away, turning your face in shame – but he held your shoulders, a gentle hand pulling your chin to face him.

Violet beheld you again, and you forced yourself to not look away. Maybe you could face him, face your truth. Maybe, you could be as brave as him.

“You are so beautiful, Y/N,” Rhys said softly, his hands cupping your face as he brushed away your tears. “I don’t think I need to tell you that I’m very fond of you.”

Your heart thrummed, pulsing with instinct. Say it, out loud, risk it! it seemed to shout.

You bought your hands up to his, holding them as you took a deep breath.

“And I am fond of you.”

Rhys’s face lit up as stars twinkled in his eyes. He was devastatingly handsome, and the smile that pulled at his sharp cheek bones threatened your knees to buckle.

You couldn’t help the tears that kept running. You were given in, risking it all, and there was no coming back. 

Rhys leaned in close to your face, his fresh scent filling the air around you. He placed a gentle kiss on each of your tear stained cheeks before licking the salty liquid from his perfect lips.

You stared at him in awe, his beauty enveloping your view.

“Fond, on my behalf, is an understatement,” he murmured, tilting your chin upwards to him. 

A gentle hand snaked behind your back, pulling you against his body. The feeling of him softly pressed to you made you throb, and you continued to stare up at his face, unable to hide your own shock. 

He brushed your hair behind your ear, before cupping your jaw.

“So beautiful,” he said again, before leaning down and placing his lips on yours gently.

The kiss was soft, more attentive than you had ever experienced. You succumbed to it, letting your body relax into his hold as he pulled you in closer with the arm at your back, strengthening to hold your knees truly gave out at his touch.

You own arms naturally made their way to his hair and neck, trying to pull yourself closer.

Rhys chuckled into the kiss, inhaling as he traced his tongue along your lips, asking for permission.

A moan escaped you as you gained Rhys his entrance, his tongue sliding sensually over yours.

Your skin was alight, senses heightened and perked as every part of you ached and begged to never let go.

But a guilty conscience had Rhys pulling away from your lips, a small smirk pulling at your frustrated moan.

“Y/N,” he straightened, suddenly more serious. “I didn't come here to only confess my affection.”

“I wouldn’t mind if you did,” you hummed, fingers on your mouth as your lips tingled with his lingering touch.

When Rhys chuckled, you swore it pleased the Gods.

“The others are just as concerned as I am. You’re withdrawn, proper sleep has escaped you for months, and–"

Your mouth twitched, before you flew up to plant a quick peck on his lips, silencing him. “And what of you, High Lord? How much do you burry in that head of yours? It is hard to know how much to burden onto you, when you are already dealing with so much.”

Violet eyes danced between yours in thought. “Make a bargain with me.”

Your brow quirked. “Pardon me?”

“Promise me, to share the things with which you need support so you may not burden them alone. And I will promise to do the same.”

“Rhys,” you breathed, honoured yet anxious at the vulnerability weaved into a bargain such as that. “Do you know what you’re asking each of us to confess?”

Rhys smiled, shaking his head. “With conditions, of course. This will be for those things that you know you shouldn’t keep to yourself, the truths you know the other would want to help with.”

You couldn't help the grin that pulled at your cheeks. “You’re mad.”

Rhys flicked your nose. “I know what it is to rot from within, Y/N. And in a world of magic and power and darkness, I will not let you burden it alone.”

“Rysand…”

Rhys all but moaned, pulling you in for a searing kiss. “Say yes,” he murmured against your lips.

With clenched eyes, you nodded, aware of the itching sensation on your neck as Rhys enveloped you with another kiss, the etching of your bargain searing to your skin. 

A gentle talon stroked at your mind then, hinting with sensuality.

You opened your eyes, forcing your shields down for the first time in years. 

Rhys growled as he entered your mind, pulling you flush against him as he kissed you deeply. And as the night sky became alive with iridescent streaks of light, the beginnings of starfall went neglected as you and Rhys explored a world of your own.

--------

AN: Hello dreamers, I just had to get out a one-shot, and I had a few requests to write for the most handsome High Lord! I sincerely hope you liked this, I haven't done a one-shot in a HOT minute!! So glad to be back with them. Comment to join my main tag list anytime, MWA!

#acotar #rhysand x reader #rhysand fanfic #rhysand angst #rhysand fluff #rhysand unrequited love #rhys fanfic #rhys angst #rhys fluff #rhysand one shot #rhys one shot #acotar one shot #unrequited love #acotar fandom #acotar angst #acotarfanfic #sarah j maas #acotar fanfic #rhys x you #rhys x y/n #rhys x reader #rhysand x y/n #rhysand x you #rhysand x oc #rhys x oc

[imaginesmai]

Right around the corner - Azriel

(1), (2), (3), (4), (5)

Plot: four times someone notices something weird about Azriel, and that time someone figured it out.

Remember, I'm taking requests! This Azriel fic is an Azriel x reader, but she doesn't appear yet. Let me know if you want a second part with a formal introduction to the family!

Through the years, Cassian had learned a few things about Azriel. He could proudly say that, even if he wasn’t a spy master himself, he was quite observant. Picked things here and there about people, noticed small habits and routines. For example, he knew that Rhysand liked his coffee boiling hot, that Mor always brought something red from wherever she traveled, and that Feyre ordered the colors she painted with in certain way.

From all of them, he spent most time with Azriel, so it made sense that Cassian knew him. Or thought so.

Cassian knew Azriel sometimes talked to his shadows, even argued with them. The male liked his boots clean and couldn’t stand blood on his clothes. He preferred tea over coffee and liked bad jokes, even if he always scoffed at them.

Cassian thought Azriel was a picky eater. That he hated berries, because he had never seen his friend eat any.

So, when after a tough monthly shopping session for the house, he found a berries box, he opened it without a second thought. It was what he always did – eat from the box before he put it away, infatuating Rhysand, who liked everything in its place.

He only had time to open the box and touch the first berry before Azriel snatched it from his grip, tucking it away.

“Don’t touch it” he grumbled, still focused on putting the eggs away.

“Why not? Rhy’s not here. He won’t mind” he would mind, thought. Not that Cassian had cared about it. “It’s just one berry. I barely ate lunch”

“That sounds like your problem” Azriel gave him a wary look when he tried to get closer. “Don’t”

“They’re berries. Give them to me” Cassian replied, putting his palm up and waiting for his snack.

“You’ll have to wait until dinner”

Cassian frowned, because it might had been one berry, but berries were brought because he liked them and usually ended up in a bag in his room, either way. The only problem he had faced so far was Rhysand disappointed face when he found the empty box laying on the counter.

He rounded the kitchen island until he was next to Azriel. Once more, he reached for the box of berries. That time, he was met with a cold, aggressive grip on his wrist by one of his shadows.

“Dude. What’s with the berries?” he asked, staring at his unmoving wrist with morbid fascination.

“I bought them for me, they’re not for the house”

“You don’t… like berries”

Azriel seemed surprised at the statement, and finally looked at him. And for the first time in a long time, Cassian realized he had surprised him. That he had caught Azriel in a lie, or maybe in an omission of the truth. A truth he didn’t want or feel like sharing.

Maybe, any other day, Cassian would have let it go by. If it had happened with any other food, or with any other person, it wouldn’t have made him suspicious. But Azriel actually looked surprised, and Cassian had tried enough to know it was impossible to catch him in a lie.

“Well, I do now” he shrugged finally. “So keep your nasty hands out of the box”

Before Cassian could reply, the shadow holding his hand curled back into its master and Azriel winnowed away, berries in hand and a soft smile on his face.

-

Even though Mor didn’t like Azriel the way he liked her, couldn’t love him like he wanted to, she appreciated him as a friend. As a good friend, who was there for her always and through everything. And it was selfish of her, she knew, but she had grown used to the details of being loved. Appreciated, cared for. Wanted.

When she caught his gaze across the room, she was used to watching him blush and look away. When they went out to have fun, she was used to his eyes fixed on her back, not subtle at all. And worst of all, she had been kind of taking advantage of the presents he gave her every now and then.

They weren’t short of money, and Azriel had bought her many things through the years. Something she stared at, something that made him think of her. Multiple things that warmed her heart, not in the way he wanted to.

It was only logical that when she found Azriel at her door with a velvet box, looking nervous and shy, it was just that.

“Az. What a surprise” she tried to smile. Tried not to think about his dejected face once she told him she appreciated the gift but wanted to be alone. “Isn’t it too late for you to be up?”

“Yeah, I… it’s been a rough day” he shrugged.

The first indication that something was different was that he didn’t shy from her stare, nor hid the box behind his back. The second was that he didn’t leave it at her hands like a timing bomb.

Mor raised an eyebrow and waited for him to continue. She had been about to go to sleep, after a long day for herself, and supposed half of Velaris was already deep into it.

“Maybe you want to come in?”

She couldn’t physically let him down, drop his expectations and hurt him. More than once, she had given him false hopes in fear of losing the friendship. And when she opened a little bit farther the room of her apartment, she intended to do that.

To accept whatever he had brought her, to hug him tight and thank him, and to let him know that she was really tired and would see him tomorrow, maybe. Then, she would go to bed feeling like a horrible person.

Mor didn’t expect Azriel to open the box himself, and show her something she knew wasn’t for her.

Inside the box, was a beautiful blue sapphire necklace, encased in a silver tear that shone under the moonlight. Everything Azriel had got her, everything anyone got her, was always red. Because that was her color, that was her soul. Not blue and delicate, like the piece of jewelry he held in his hands. 

Azriel didn’t have to say anything else before she noticed the problem.

“It broke and I don’t know how to fix it. It’s… really important for me. And I need it for tonight. For right now” he rambled, like she had never seen him do. “I stayed working late and now the shop is closed”

“It’s beautiful” she whispered, having seen nothing so soft, so beautiful lately. “How did it break?”

“Doesn’t matter. Can you fix it? Like, right now?”

Azriel could have asked her to go through her own jewels and pick the most beautiful to give it to him, and she would have said yes, because she owned it to him. So she nodded and ushered him inside, with her eyes fixed on the necklace.

She didn’t mention that it was too delicate for him, that it was obviously for a woman. Mor ignored her conflicted thoughts about it as she touched the broken chain.

It only took her thirty minutes to find a chain similar to the original one, and another ten to convince Azriel to take it and don’t worry about it. Any trace of sleep erased from her body as she stared at him. At Azriel looking at the fixed necklace with a crooked smile.

“Who is it for?” she asked finally, as she opened the door for him once more. “Anyone special worth mentioning”

“No one. It’s a family relic, from my mother I think�� he explained, looking between her and the open air. As if he couldn’t stand staying in the ground a second longer. “Thank you for fixing it. See you tomorrow, Mor”

Two thoughts were on her mind as she closed the door. The first one, was that she knew for a fact that blue was his color, not his mother’s color. She wore green, purple, black. Dark colors, if the portraits were correct.

The second thought, that was confirmed when she looked at her stunned face in the mirror, was that Azriel hadn’t acknowledge her outfit. A thin, black nightgown that barely covered her thighs, and that other nights had sent the shadow singer stuttering apologies right and left before leaving in a rush. 

-

Amren stared with half-closed eyes at her friends, noticing the change right away.

She usually wouldn’t entertain that type of activities, thinking ‘family game nights’ were a waste of time. But since Feyre appeared in their lives, she had to admit she liked her family better. She liked the way Rhysand softened around her, how at ease he was and how relaxed she made everyone.

True to her habits, Amren had chosen the farthest chair and the most expensive wine, and was watching the night unfold in front of her.

At the begging, she had thought it was weird that Azriel, almost as closed off as her, had walked in with a bright smile on his face. His hair had been ruffled in a windless, summer night, his shoulders wider.

It took him almost an hour to identify the new smell in the room, and find the source around his wrist. Almost unnoticeable between all of the scents combined – yet clear enough for her.

She stared at the black rubber band around his wrist, similar to the ones Cassian wore but not quite the same. Amren made it her mission to unfold the different smells and identify the new ones.

Rhysand’s was dark and fresh, like the night. His was intertwined with a sweeter one, Feyre’s, that smelt like vanilla and power. Raw, beautiful power that Amren admired.

Cassian’s was wild and abundant. He smelt like war camps and sweat, but somehow, like home too. Nesta’s scent was there too, even if the female wasn’t around. Amren could identify her just fine – and the new scent wasn’t hers.

After filtering the rest of presences, she finally focused on the band. Azriel was still unmated, that much she could tell. His was like ashes and candles. And behind all of that, she finally found it – baked bread, fresh food, vegetables.

“What are you looking at?”

Her line of sight was interrupted when Azriel pushed his sleeve farther down his arm, covering the rubber band. He knew where Amren was looking, and Amren knew that the question wasn’t rude. Still, Azriel’s voice held an edge she had only heard in Cassian or Rhysand’s voice before.

She smiled lazily at him before answering, making sure everyone was busy trying to guess what Rhysand was gesturing.

“Nothing, boy”

“You were staring quite hard for being nothing” Azriel replied. He fixed his hazel eyes on her, a hard edge on his features.

“I thought I smelt something on you” she purred, enjoying way too much the way the spymaster tensed. “Have you grown a sweet tooth lately?”

Amren usually didn’t stick her nose where it didn’t belong. She liked her life quiet, and minding other people business wasn’t her thing. Every now and then, she did like riling up Cassian or messing with Mor, but she had yet to play with the shadowsinger.

She respected him just as much, if not more, as the rest of the family. Understood the difficulty of his job, the people’s souls he carried behind. Most of their interactions were friendly and cordial, nothing more.

However, that night she felt like she had found something wort digging in.

“Do they know yet?” she asked him when Azriel didn’t answer.

“That I stopped in my way here to buy food?” even if the irritation and protectiveness fell from his face, a muscle of his jaw twitched. “Yeah. Cassian already ate half of the banana bread”

“He did, now?”

They silently stared at each other for a long minute. She dared him to deny it once more, to tell her that the smell under his sleeve was just from a quick stop to the bakery. He dared her to ask about the rubber band and give him an excuse to leave the game night.

Finally, Amren looked away and answered correctly to what Rhysand was trying to represent with gestures. Cassian got up and quickly started an argument about how to gesture correctly, while Feyre just laughed her ass off and Mor scurried off to bring more wine.

The next time Amren looked at Azriel’s wrist, the rubber band was gone.

-

The clock chimed five times in a row when the door finally opened, and Rhysand looked up from the papers on his desk. Apparently, he had to write a formal apology to the summer court in Cassian’s account, and certainly, he wasn’t any close to writing it than what he was in the afternoon.

Now, at five o`clock in the morning, his worry had gotten the best out of him. Rhysand had promised himself that, if by the time the sun came up Azriel wasn’t back, he would start destroying Illyrian camps until he found him.

“Before you say anything” Azriel rose a bloodied hand towards the high lord, and no matter how old Rhysand was, he felt his heart plummeting to the ground in worry. “Not my blood. Not even a scratch”

“Hard to believe. You’re leaving a puddle of it in my carpet” his voice was stained, his anger and worry mixing together.

“I…”

For the first time, Rhysand watched Azriel lost at words. The male looked down at his clothes, that were indeed soaked in blood and gore. He was still carrying all his swords and knives. And from where Rhysand stood behind his deck, he could see none of them had been left unused.

He had received a note from Azriel a day ago saying he was going to check on some Illyrian camps for illegal wing clipping, and that he would be gone for a few hours. Since then, Rhysand had had to deal with the worry and panic of not knowing if he was alive, since he closed his mind to Rhys.

Azriel looked back at him, and any type of sermon would have to wait until the morning. Rhysand got up and circled the desk, until he was in front of his friend. Who looked at him with sorrow and pain.

Rhysand didn’t let the surprise of seeing the shadowsinger, the spy master, so vulnerable. He only gripped his shoulder tight.

“What happened?”

“They didn’t even deny it” Azriel admitted, his voice tight. “One of the girls in the village was brave enough to show me where they keep them”

“Keep what?” even if he asked, Rhysand had a feeling he knew.

“The wings. They kept all the wings pinned to a tavern’s wall, like fucking hunting prices. Rhys, they were so… so many. So many”

He knew his brother’s history with the camps. Had seen what they do to women for himself, had fought for years against it. Still, Azriel had always been the calmer one. Cassian often went into carnages when he found an illegal clipping, but Azriel was the one to ask first and kill later. To organize trips into the mountains with reinforcements and not take decisions by himself.

The Azriel covered in blood in front of him, with tears shinning on his eyes, was new.

Rhysand was at loss as words, torn between beating him for his stupidity of leaving alone and going back himself to look for survivors and kill them slower.

“What you did… Az, anything could have happened to you” he tried to reason. “You know better than to do this on your own. What happened?”

“I got a strong hold. Knew where to find them.”

“How?”

Azriel didn’t answer, and Rhysand didn’t need to pry into his mind to know he would find it closed. Sighing, he pulled Azriel close. It didn’t matter that he was staining his clothes too, that Feyre was still waiting for him in bed and that he was ready to drop dead from worry.

Rhysand hugged Azriel and let him grip his vest until it wrinkled, until he was ready to talk. He trusted him with his life, and he had a feeling whatever was what had brought Azriel to that camp wasn’t ready to be shared yet.

He didn’t count the minutes that passed by until his body relaxed between his arms, didn’t acknowledge the wetness on his neck.

“I need to do something”

“What? Unless it’s a fucking bath and – “

“No, I won’t – it’s not what you think” Azriel took a deep breath and locked his eyes with Rhysand. The high lord nodded. “I’ll talk about it tomorrow, I promise. But just tonight, I need you not to ask question. I won’t be sleeping in my dorms”

“You need to take a bath and rest”

“I will take a bath and rest”

Rhysand knew Azriel had an apartment, somewhere. He knew where Mor lived, where Amren had bought a house, but his brother had lived as long as he could remember in the wind house, with him. He didn’t have many personal details, but in the room at the end of the corridor he kept his weapons and clothes.

He even kept the horrible scarf Nesta knitted him last year that everyone else had thrown away.

Before he said anything else, something in his soul told him to shut up. To accept his request, the only one he had done in a long time, and leave the details for the next morning.

“I guess it’s time for me to go home too” he smiled softly. “Just – clean off that blood. And don’t forget to report in the morning. We need to talk”

“We will”

Without further explanation, Azriel disappeared between his shadows. And Rhysand was left with the sudden smell of burnt bread under his nose.

-

What Feyre missed the most about her human life, and from the spring court, were the quiet walks in nature. The smell of leaves and grass, the sounds of the animals and the absence of other voices. Velaris was a busy place, and even if the people were more than nice, she missed quiet.

Nyx had made sure that his mom never knew quiet again.

He was a happy baby, loud and cheerful, and slept less than any person Feyre had known. Always wide awake, smiling and babbling. Before he even turned one, she had grown used to taking midnight strolls down the Wind House like another routine.

That night, Nyx was playing with her tattooed fingers and munching on his pacifier, still managing to babble some words. Rhysand had gone to bed late and was sleeping in their room, unaware of the night walk. And Feyre, who held Nyx tightly against her chest, felt like falling asleep on her feet.

She was considering turning around and letting Nyx lay awake staring at the ceiling when the baby stopped moving.

“Time for a diaper change?” she guessed, used to that type of silence. “I’ve never met a stricter person when it comes to schedule. Most people use the bathroom at day, you know?”

“Bah”

“Yeah, most people sleep at night, I guess” she sighed.

Still, when she felt his diaper, she found it empty, and after a quick inspection of smell, she discovered it was clean. Through her sleepy haze, she frowned and looked at Nyx. He was pointing to the open door to the kitchen, to the table next to the entrance.

As the rest of the house, the kitchen was empty. Not even Azriel’s shadows, who usually snuck around and entertained Nyx for a while, were there.

Feyre walked inside the kitchen as Nyx became more restless, until the baby was close to the object he pointed at. Then, almost dropping from her embrace, he put his chubby hands on the surface and tried to crawl to his destiny.

“Nyx, baby, it’s late. You already had dinner” she sighed, trying to pull Nyx back.

But as soon as she separated his hands from the table, Nyx let the pacifier drop and whined pitifully. He smacked one rebel hand against Feyre’s cheek, showing her his utter disapproval of the action.

All Feyre needed was another slap to the face before she gave in and let Nyx have his way. She let the baby sitting on the counter, and holding his back, she bent down for the pacifier. When she rose again, Nyx had found his prize – something that certainly didn’t belong to their kitchen, since the most complex food she could make was soup.

Large and thin like a fork, Nyx was holding a kitchen tool made of plastic. It ended in soft peaks, similar to a brush. Similar to the baby brush Feyre used with him.

“Did you winnow that here?” she asked Nyx, not expecting an answer. “Please tell you didn’t steal anything”

Lately, Nyx had picked up his father’s power and was starting to conjure things he wanted or needed. It was cute, whenever it was a toy or a plushie. Last month, it was a very distressed Cassian that fell on Feyre, and it was not cute.

But before she could think about Nyx winnowing the tool, she recognized the already familiar smell of bread and cinnamon. Feyre smiled as Nyx brushed its end against his face, and the baby giggled.

During the next ten minutes, she brushed the tool herself against her baby’s hair, tummy and neck. It might had been a little unhygienic and certainly not very mom-like, but it was getting Nyx to drop his eyes and lean against her.

She ended up carrying the baby asleep on her arms, still gripping the new acquisition tight on his fist.

As Feyre let him rest on the crib and tucked him in, Rhysand finally woke up. He apologized softly for not getting up and urged his mate to get in bed with him. Just before he could fall back into a blissful sleep with his family safe besides him, Feyre spoke.

“Remind me tomorrow to wash that thing and give it back to Azriel’s mate. She’ll be happy to know it also works as a baby wand to sleep”

Feyre drifted off with his back to Rhysand as the male got up from the bed, processing the new information.

Want to read more? Check out my side blog @imaginesmaimasterlists, where I keep all the masterlists! Feedback is always appreciated

#azriel #azriel fic #azriel one shot #azriel imagine #azriel x reader #shadowsinger #azriel shadowsinger #azriel x you #azriel acotar #acotar imagine #acotar #acotar one shot #acotar fic #acotar x reader #acotar x you #imaginesmai #imaginemai #imagine mai #imagines mai #x reader #fic #imagine #one shot #cassian #mor #rhysand #feyre #nyx #amren

[prythianpages]

A Man After Midnight | Eris x Reader

summary: though engaged to Sawyer Vanserra, you feel utterly and completely alone with only the company of autumn winds, blowing outside your window. that is, until, Eris shows up. Your man after midnight.

warnings: mentions of assault (reader gets touched against her will but nothing explicit or anything that goes beyond that), blood, bruises/abuse/bullying; reader having a panic attack

a/n: This originally was going to head a different direction but I decided to make it like a part three to this instead. You can also read this as a stand alone one-shot. I love ABBA and I knew I had to use this song. One of my favs but you'll find that I say that a lot. You can find the masterlist to my ABBA x ACOTAR series here.

Your eyes light up as you spot Sawyer stepping out from the High Lord’s study. Overridden with excitement, you eagerly fall into step with him, the sheer brightness of your presence outshining the dimly lit surroundings. You pay no mind to the fact that his other brothers, Hunter and Oliver, are not too far behind.

“Good morning, Sawyer! Will you walk with me?” you beam up at him with a smile. It's the kind of sight that would make many fall to their feet–that even Oliver wants to bask in the glow of.

But Sawyer? He doesn’t even spare you a glance, his dark brown eyes fixed ahead as he replies, his tone detached. “I’m doing that right now.”

You can hear his brothers snicker behind you–too close for your liking that it has you quickening your steps. “But I was hoping you’d walk with me in the gardens? Or maybe we can have lunch together? We are to be marri–”

“Our marriage is nothing but a business deal arranged by our fathers.” He cuts you in sharply and you find your resolve faltering.

“Love may not come from our marriage but perhaps, we can be friends?” You offer, hating the desperation that seeps into your tone, as you trail behind Sawyer.

Sawyer stops abruptly, causing you to crash into his chest and stumble backwards. You catch yourself, a hand rubbing at your forehead where you’re sure an imprint of the necklace he wears marks your reddening skin. Your betrothed looks down at you in a way no one has ever before. Ever since your father left, it appeared that so did Sawyer’s patience. It’s as if the male you met when you first arrived was a facade. Pure disgust simmers in his heated gaze and his nose wrinkles as he lets out a scoff, causing you to shrink back.

“Friends? I don’t want to be friends with you. I don’t want to be anything with you. You’re the bane of my existence.”

Tears sting at the corners of your eyes, and instinctively, you take another step back, as though the physical distance could somehow lessen the impact of his words. It doesn’t. Your lip trembles as a frown threatens to overtake your features. 

“How can you mean that when you barely know me?” you ask, your voice a mere whisper but you know by the way his steps stop, that he catches every word. So you decide to remind him and add: “I didn’t ask for this either.”

Sawyer doesn’t bother to turn around or answer you, simply choosing to keep walking away. Hunter pushes past you aggressively, turning to smirk at your distraught expression as he catches up with Sawyer. It is Oliver who stops you from colliding into the wall. He wraps an arm around your shoulder, steadying you and pulling you close to him.

“Oh, sweet girl, you’re too pretty to cry.”

Oliver’s free hand reaches up to grip your chin, forcing your gaze to him. His lips form a slight pout that contrasts the mischief twinkling in his amber eyes. He leans to lick the single tear trickling down your cheek and you wince. You want to run but his grip on you is strong.  

He then directs your attention forward, where Hunter has Sawyer in a similar hold. “Tell her,” Hunter says, gaze darkening with a thirst to torment. He flashes his teeth as his smirk widens. This is all a fun game to him. “Tell her why you don’t like her.”

Sawyer looks like he would rather die than answer Hunter’s demand. He glares at you as he struggles to free himself from his brother’s grasps but Hunter is much stronger. He realizes that he won’t be free until he says something. Finally, between clenched teeth, Sawyer answers. “She’s not my type.”

Hunter throws his head back in laughter, the sound echoing through the room with a dark and menacing resonance.

“What a shame,” Oliver says, his breath tickling your ear as his hand roams down the length of your neck. You swear your heart misses a beat when his hand stops right over the swell of your chest. His nails dig into your chest at your struggle to free yourself.  “She’s exactly my type.”

Your entire body tenses at the unwanted touch, eyes widening when you feel heat prick at your skin. The smell of burnt fabric reaches your nose and a chill permeates, displacing the warmth as Oliver lifts his flaming hand from you. You rush to cross your arms over your chest, desperate to cover your exposed skin from Hunter’s and Oliver’s hungry gazes.

“Just look at her,” Oliver continues, pushing you forward so harshly it sends you to your knees. His chuckle makes goosebumps rise on your skin. “So pretty, so docile.”

As you blink away tears of humiliation, your eyes remain fixed on Sawyer, pleading almost. He’s determined to look anywhere but you. You curl your arms tighter around yourself and lower your gaze. You don’t want to give the other Vanserras the satisfaction of seeing you cry. You suspect it will only prompt them to torment you further.

“Then have at her. I don’t care.”

Sawyer’s words reach you with a devastating force like the last blow. They pierce through the core of your naive heart and you can’t help the tears that escape and spill onto the floor. Hunter peels his gaze away from you to roll his eyes at his younger brother, releasing him with a rough shove.

“You’re no fun, Sawyer,” he says with a disappointed sigh, his expectation for a different response lingering unfulfilled. Hunter then looks back at you, you can feel his heated gaze, and you curl in further into yourself. “But it looks like you are.”

“What is the meaning of this??”

**

Beron’s cold eyes take in the sight before him, gaze sweeping over your slumped form on the floor. It’s Hunter who moves to speak but at the lift of Beron’s finger, his mouth closes shut. Beron comes to the conclusion that he doesn’t care as there’s other pressing matters to attend to. Such as dealing with your father and ensuring he keeps his end of the agreement. He turns to his oldest, who stands at his side with a perfectly donned mask.

“You deal with whatever this is.”

“Yes, father,” Eris replies with no hesitation and Beron pats him on the shoulder–the same shoulder he left a bruise on the other night.

Eris bites back a wince. He waits until his father is away from sight to take in the situation before him. The torches lining up the halls flare. With a simmering intensity that could rival a raging inferno, Eris turns his attention to the brother closest to him. The searing authority of his gaze has Oliver raising his hands in a gesture of surrender and stepping away from you.

“We were just having a little fun, brother.”

“Fun?” 

Eris releases a disbelieving exhale as he grasps onto Oliver’s shirt. He wants to burn his hand through his brother’s skin until he’s screaming and crying, the same way Oliver had intended to do with you. Because how dare he touch you, hurt you. It’s as if Oliver can hear the crackling roar of the fire burning within his older brother and his eyes widen in fear.

Under the weight of Hunter’s hawk eyes, Eris grudgingly settles on shoving Oliver further away from him. And you.

“If you want to have fun, go to a fucking brothel. This is our home.”

Oliver releases a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. He doesn’t waste another second, happy to leave the hall before his brother can take back his mercy.

"And you," Eris seethes, his voice a low, rumbling growl as he turns to face Hunter next. Eris effortlessly surpasses him in both stature and might, looming over him like a formidable mountain casting its shadow. “Shouldn’t you be making haste to quell the riots in town? Or should I add that to your growing list of incapabilities?”

Hunter's fists clench at his sides, the dance of flames flickering along his skin, but in the presence of Eris, his fire pales in comparison. The fire raging within Eris burns brighter, stronger. A force that demands respect and obedience. Much like their father’s. Without uttering another word, he turns on his heel and leaves.

Stepping forward, Eris finally allows his gaze to fall on you and he feels a violent tug in his chest that threatens to weaken him. The desire to sink to his knees beside you and envelop your trembling form in his arms is an overpowering one, coursing through him like a forbidden current. Yet, the harsh reality holds him back. It’s too dangerous. He cannot act upon the fervent emotions that entwine his heart and it pains him, seeking to destroy him almost.

But he can’t just leave you there. Helpless. On the floor. So he masks his emotions–something he is well accustomed to–and dons a facade of annoyance. With a deft, almost dismissive motion, Eris removes his tailcoat, flinging it carelessly in your direction. The seconds stretch into a languid dance as your eyes, wide with surprise, meet his. You gratefully slip his coat over your smaller form, clutching it tightly to your chest.

There’s a bittersweet ache that lingers within Eris at the unexpected intake of breath you give.

A fleeting flicker of sweet agony passes through his eyes. It vanishes almost as quickly as it appeared, leaving you to wonder if it was a mere figment of your imagination. 

"And lastly," Eris starts with a deep sigh, the once-fiery intensity in his eyes dimming as he regards his last remaining brother. The only brother left that harbored some redeemable qualities but now, Eris questioned it.

"Is this any way to treat your fiancé?"

A ripple courses through Sawyer's jawline. “Why do you care?”

"I don't." Eris retorts with a glare. He's skilled at weaving falsehoods, and though this one is way far out from the truth, it slides effortlessly off his tongue like all the other ones. He immediately senses the weight of your gaze pressing into the expense of his back.

"But I do care about the consequences if she runs away. You should too."

Though it pains him, he doesn’t turn back around to you. He looks at Sawyer once more in warning. Then, he begins to walk away, every step pulling him further from the one he yearns to be with. Your gaze, burning into him like a relentless brand the entire time.

**

Weeks Later..

Autumn winds blow harshly outside the window as you look around your room. They mirror the melancholy that lingers in your heart. Your room is big and spacious, seems fit for a princess, adorned with sculpted art and paintings. In one corner stands a massive wardrobe crafted from the richness of dark cherry wood filled to the brim with a variety of dresses that would make any lady of your status swoon. Beside it, there’s a lovely vanity with golden carvings that hosts an array of makeup and beauty products. On the opposite side, is a desk that matches your wardrobe. It bears the weight of books, letters from your father, threads, unfinished embroideries and your untouched dinner. 

At a glance, it appears you have everything.

Yet, as you sit on the bed, a pitiful truth echoes louder than the winds outside. Your gaze meets a reflection in the full-length mirror positioned next to the desk, capturing the solemn expression that dances across your features. Dark, sad eyes stare back at you and the weight of isolation is evident in the downturned corners of your mouth. You miss your home. Your friends, your horse, your father, and gods do you miss your mother. 

Upon your arrival, eager anticipation filled your heart as you looked forward to getting acquainted with your future husband. You knew not to expect love to come from it as you were mere strangers but you had hoped for a friend. The promise of a lifelong companion, a partner to share laughter and weave a tapestry of memories together, stirred excitement and nerves within you. It’s what your father and mother had shared. Your foolish heart had eagerly counted down the days, each one a step closer to a shared future.

But now? As the appointed days draw near, the once-cherished anticipation morphs into a heavy sense of dread, casting a haunting shadow over you. Your husband to be looks at you as if you’re the scum on his boots.

The High Lord, your future father in law, is cruel and terrifying. You avoid him at all costs. Your future mother in law, Lady Autumn, is often busy and away. She helps you plan your dreadful wedding during the times she isn’t busy but you find that she is quiet and reserved. There’s a lingering sadness always present in her amber eyes that you assume comes from all the sorrow and grief she’s had to endure. You’ve met one of her sons–Lucien, you remember– during your travels with your father and you used to wonder why he no longer resided in Autumn but not anymore. You can only imagine the horrors he’s had to endure that made him leave.

Hunter enjoys berating you every chance he can. There’s a darkness that burns in him and you can’t help but think about what would become of you if Sawyer was interested in you. One day, while walking through the garden you overheard from some gossiping servants that Hunter was once married. His wife died shortly after the marriage and rumor has it that the frightening Vanserra had something to do with her sudden disappearance. They wondered if the same fate would befall upon you. A thought you didn’t want to linger on as it was absolutely terrifying.

Then, there’s Oliver. Though kinder, only in comparison to Hunter and maybe even Sawyer, he is not to be trusted. He undresses you with his eyes in every glance and vulgarly welcomes you to his bed. You do your best to stay away from him because as lonely as you are, you’re nowhere near desperate for his company, and fear the day he’ll grow wary of your constant rejection.

You find yourself, however, desperate for another’s. Eris. 

You haven’t seen him since that day Sawyer broke your heart, since he let Oliver make a spectacle out of you. Eris had been the only one you’d look forward to seeing during dinner and his noted absence was the reason why you stopped joining the Vanserra dinners yourself.

Days, even weeks have passed, and he hasn’t fulfilled the promise of returning your book, its absence on your nightstand a constant reminder. He hasn’t even asked for his coat back. It remains draped over your desk chair. He’s a rare sight to see when walking amongst the grounds of the Forest house, prompting a question to rise. Is he purposely avoiding you? The mere thought stirs an unexpected pain within you.

There’s no one here for you. 

A little over a month into your lifetime stay at the Forest house and you already feel so alone. So utterly and completely alone.

Suddenly feeling suffocated, you rise from your bed and head toward your favorite area of your room–the window seat. Kneeling on the soft cushion, your fingers reach to open the window, eyes fluttering shut in anticipation. The Autumn winds continue to howl through the darkness of the night but their chill does not reach you. Your eyes open and you raise your hand. A surge of electricity courses through you as your hand meets an unseen force. A magical barrier.

Turning your head toward the door, your gaze dips to the bottom where shadows dance. You can make out the planted boots of an Autumn guard and hope deflates. Nothing can come in. Nothing can go out. Not only are you alone but you’re trapped. 

A taste of what’s to come, of what’s to be of the rest of your miserable life. Lonely. Trapped. Locked away into oblivion. No breath you take is enough as you’re suffocated by the storm of emotions flooding through you. This place is your hell. Impending doom. You’re going to die here. Alone. There’s not a soul out there…

Water. You should drink some water. Tremors take over your body as you make your way toward your nightstand. Water spills onto the floor as you pour yourself a glass. You bring the water to your lips but your throat feels like it’s closing up. You glance at the pocket watch on your nightstand and notice it’s half past twelve.

There’s not a soul out there…

You extend your hand towards the watch—a cherished heirloom passed down from your mother. The gentle, rhythmic ticking of it has long been a source of solace and comfort for you. But it’s too late.

The hand clutching onto your glass of water shatters against the dark wood of your nightstand as you clutch the watch to your racing heart. You can only pray to the Cauldron, the Mother, to anyone as the room spins around you. But there’s no one to hear your prayer…

There’s a deep agony in your chest that tightens with every passing second, an inescapable loop of gloom that envelops your every thought and emotion. There’s not a soul out there. You can’t breathe. No one to hear your prayer…

“y/n.”

You catch the faint murmur of your name being called, yet a lingering doubt creeps in. You must be going mad because there’s no one here for you. Not a soul—

“y/n.”

And there it is again. Your name is being called. Louder, firmer this time. It’s real. The cruel clutches of your sorrow that held you captive begin to shatter like your glass from earlier. The sound of your name acts as a lifeline, pulling you from the depths of despair you inadvertently locked yourself into.

“That’s it. Breathe with me, angel,” the soothing voice persists, a gentle anchor for your drifting thoughts. And you can finally hear it. Your beloved watch. Though it's fast, it becomes a comforting undercurrent, a familiar melody that helps steady your racing heartbeat.

You feel like you can finally breathe again. As you blink away the haze clouding your vision and come back down, you are met with a pair of familiar amber eyes. The warm hues flicker like flames as they fixate upon you. Intense but tender and full of concern.

**

“Eris.”

You breathe his name so heavenly, like an answered prayer as you take him in. His dark red hair is tousled as though he emerged hastily from a slumber. Adorned in a thin, un-tied linen shirt, the fine contours of his chest are revealed, and his pants, creased as if donned in urgency, complete the picture of a man who arrived in haste yet with purpose.

"You're here," you say, your tone teetering on the edge of question and you glance toward your door, confirming that the Autumn guard is still stationed there.

You called, he wants to reply but instead, settles on, “I’m here.”

“How?” You ask, aware of the wards in your room preventing winnowing. At first, you thought they were meant to protect you. Now, you’re aware they’re really meant to keep you from escaping.

The corners of his lips lift into a small smirk. “I have my ways. I know every secret tunnel, every little crevice of this estate.”

Your head turns, eyes scanning your room in search of said secret tunnel. Eris lightly grasps your chin, focusing your attention back to him to keep you from spotting the secret door hidden behind your full length mirror. He wipes at the lingering traces of tears on your face, watching as your eyes dip and fixate on the golden chain encircling his neck. A sigil of three hounds captures your attention—an emblem unfamiliar to your discerning gaze, sparking a curiosity that mingles with the relief flooding your senses.

He finds his own breathing to steady at your calming state but at the sight of blood trickling down your hand, a knot twists in his stomach. “You’re hurt.”

You pull your gaze from his necklace, eyebrows furrowing as you look up at him. “I thought you didn’t care,” you tell him, echoing his words from the last time you saw him.

Again, Eris does not answer you. His eyes scan your room for a moment before abandoning whatever he was searching for. In his haste to aid your bleeding hand, he’s slipping his shirt off without another thought. 

“It’s fine,” you insist.

“No. It’s not.” He shakes his head at you as he guides you to the window nook. If only you knew the effect you had on him. The horror that crashed over him like a bucket of ice cold water, waking him so abruptly from his sleep. At your pain. Your agony. It nearly destroyed him the way it had been destroying you.

Eris pushes you gently to sit while he uses his shirt to wipe your blood off, frowning to himself when he can still hear the irregular beat of your heart. Too engrossed in cleaning your injury, he fails to catch on that the fluttering rhythm of your heart is now stirred by an entirely different source.

His expression transforms into one of genuine surprise as he encounters the gentle skin of your palm. Untouched, unmarked. His gaze flickers back to the shattered pieces of glass by the foot of your bed and then back to your hand. There’s no way. Not even with your healing abilities as a high fae. The amount of blood he had seen, the stinging he had felt through the bond–

“I told you it was fine.”

“But you’re not.” Eris counters and sucks in a sharp breath. “Angel–”

“Neither are you.” You point out, deftly redirecting the focus from yourself.

Your glistening eyes, pools of concern, flicker toward him. Toward his chest, where scars from injuries that had not healed properly and lingering bruises taint the muscles beneath, painting an alarming image. 

Eris averts his gaze, withdrawing slightly, reluctant to confront the vulnerability of the moment. Though your touch is gentle, the softest caress, his entire body tenses at the unfamiliar sensation. Your palm presses against a nasty scar that runs down the length of his abdomen, making him shudder at the memory it came from.

You suspect the answer but you can’t stop yourself from asking anyway. A blend of hurt and anger seeps through your voice.  “Who did this to you?”

Eris stands abruptly, caught in the tumult of conflicting desires–of longing to bask in the warmth of your touch and the simultaneous impulse to flee from it. “You should go to bed,” he says, voice strained. “Get some sleep.”

You stand up as well. “But I’m wide awake.”

“That’s not my problem.”

“Eris, please,” you nearly beg and he finds his feet rooted to the ground. He watches as you walk over to your chair, retrieving the coat he let you borrow. You extend it toward him–a silent promise you won’t push him further on his scars.  “We can talk about other things.”

He feels his throat tighten at the urgency in your eyes.  “Like what?”

"Like…" Your voice trails off, your attention turning to the scattered items on your desk. "Embroidery?" you suggest, showing him one of your unfinished projects. It’s an outline of a yellow flower he has seen before but cannot recognize at the moment. 

"You want to talk about...embroidery?" His tone lightens, a subtle easing of tension as he slips into his coat and watches you raise another one. Unlike the first one you showed him, this one is finished and beautifully depicts a white horse with a brown mane and tail.

“This one is of my horse,” you share with pride, a subtle smile gracing your face. The warmth in your expression acts as an irresistible pull for Eris, compelling him to sit back down. "His name is Maximus.”

"I think I miss him the most," you add, the smile on your face faltering. 

It prompts Eris to speak–to keep it from falling. “It’s beautiful.”

Your smile, like the sun breaking through clouds, brightens once more. You’re beautiful, he wants to add.

“Would you like me to teach you?”

Even though he knows he should leave, he finds himself nodding. Because the prospect of your smile faltering, of you returning to your state from earlier becomes an unbearable thought. 

He secures a glamor in your room to keep the guard outside your door from hearing you. Having spent centuries studying the wards in every room, he’s learned how to unravel some pieces of them. Eris allows you to teach him the craft of embroidery. He tries to take in every instruction of yours and finds himself not lost in the craft but lost in the light in your eyes, the delightful curve of your smile as you speak.

As the daughter of a powerful and influential merchant, you’ve stayed in every court and have so many captivating stories to tell. You speak so highly of your father that he doesn’t have it in him to tell you about his dark truth–the real reason behind your arranged marriage. The delicate pricks of the thin needle against his fingers go unnoticed, drowned out by the melody of your laughter, which proves irresistibly contagious. The bond in his chest hums with a resonance that echoes through his being. He wonders, a smaller part of him fervently hoping, if you can feel it too.

Eris stays until your voice trails off–until the heaviness of your eyelids becomes an insurmountable burden, causing you to slump against the softness of the pillows. The temptation to tenderly brush your hair back from your face is strong, but he restrains the impulse.

“Eris?” Your voice, laced with the soft tendrils of sleep, reaches him.

“Yes?”

“Does this mean we’re friends now?”

The word—friends—sends a pang through him, but nevertheless, he manages a gentle "yes," reluctant to shatter the moment by uttering the truth that lies beneath the surface of his emotions. He doesn’t want to be your friend. He wants to be more than just your friend. 

A soft content hum comes from you, the only response you can manage. Mindful not to disturb your peaceful slumber, he beckons one of the blankets from your bed with his magic before carefully draping it over your curled up form at the window nook. He quietly draws the curtains shut, shielding you from the intrusion of the rising sun. He positions the embroidery hoop, adorned with the laughable but endearing image of the heart he crafted, beside you. He turns to leave but sneaks one last glance at you. Only then does he allow himself to truly smile.

Eris does not return the following night, even though he desperately wants to. Caution dictates his actions, a week elapsing before a clandestine note passed in the hallway signals his quiet return to your room. It’s during this second visit that he inevitably gives away the hidden door in your room. They lead to the house’s secret tunnels, one only Eris knows well. He promises you to take you through them one day.

It’s half past twelve and as the autumn winds blow outside your window, you're not alone this time. Eris is there with you, weaving conversations that never seem to run dry. An unspoken agreement unfolds–to keep your growing friendship hidden and away from everyone. He continues to sneak into your room, always warning you beforehand as to not scare you. The sacrifice of sleep on these nights becomes inconsequential, for both you and him.

Eris helps you chase your shadows away, taking you through the darkness to the break of the day. Your man after midnight. The soul that heard your prayer.

**

A wrought-iron table, nestled under a cascading canopy of amber leaves, holds an exquisite spread of breakfast delicacies. The air is laced with the enticing aroma of freshly brewed tea, mingling with the sweet fragrance of the flowers that surround you. Lady Autumn, whose name you learned is Raelynn, sits across from you. Her eyes, as deep as the autumnal twilight, reflect warmth back at you–no traces of the lingering sadness you’ve witnessed before in this moment. 

“My apologies, my dear, for not inviting you to breakfast sooner.” Even her voice is as warm as her gaze. “I know this court is not an easy one to adjust to.”

You find yourself smiling in reassurance back at her. Because you understand. If you were her, you’d also be wary of any newcomer.

“Eris tells me you enjoy embroidery?” Lady Raelynn says, a knowing smile playing on her lips as she brings her cup to her mouth. “Among other things.”

“I do,” you answer politely, gaze drifting to the perfectly tended lawn across from the patio you sit at. Targets for archery are neatly arranged.  There’s an arrow embedded into the bull’s eyes of every one of them.

Lady Raelynn follows your gaze. “Are you interested in archery?”

Yes, you want to say and though you find comfort in Lady Autumn’s presence, you're wary of her reaction. What if she deems it unlady like? And decides to forgo any relationship you’ve desperately clung to the hope to?

“I don’t know much about it,” you reply, choosing a diplomatic response.

 “I can teach you.” Lady Raelynn’s smile morphs into a grin. A gasp escapes you, and realization slowly etches itself into your features. “I think we’ll get along just fine,” she laughs, her words sparking hope within you.

“Good morning mother, I’ve come to–” Both of your heads turn to find Eris. He halts mid-sentence, his gaze locking with yours, a flicker of surprise and something deeper dancing in his eyes. It has you averting your gaze with a slight warmth tinting your cheeks.  “I should leave.”

“No, stay,” Lady Raelynn insists with a graceful incline of her head. With a wave of her hand, a plate full of food materializes at the empty spot between you and her, a silent invitation for Eris to join.

Eris bows his head at his mother, acknowledging her command. He takes his place at the table, his movements a bit awkward at first. As he settles in, he can't help the warming relief that washes over him at the sight of both you and his mother taking his advice. He remains relatively quiet throughout breakfast, choosing to chime in only when necessary. He’s content to bask in the soothing cadence of your conversation with his mother, indulging in stolen glances at you that linger.

Something that does not go unnoticed by his keen mother nor the way his grip tightens around his fork at the mention of your upcoming wedding.

Lady Raelynn didn’t mean to spoil the mood but she had taken it upon herself to help you plan the ceremony and reception. Albeit, reluctantly at first. That all changed after getting to know you better. Although the marriage would not be to the man of your dreams, she was now determined in ensuring that the wedding would be. It was the least she could do for you, especially after learning about the mistreatment you had endured at the hands of her sons. 

“I hope my son is treating you well?” Lady Raelynn asks you, carrying a note of concern. Her observant eyes catch the brief exchange between you and Eris, not missing the slightest tint that graces his cheeks. At least one of them is. She suppresses a smile as she awaits your answer.

“Sawyer is…” your voice trails off hesitant because he’s barely spoken to you since the incident. One of the rare occurrences being where he randomly met you in the library. He had reluctantly engaged in conversation with you, awkwardly asking what you missed the most from home. A spark of optimism brightens your tone because for once, you do have something good to say about him.

“He is actually arranging for my horse to come here! It’s silly but my horse was my biggest companion back home and I’ve been feeling a bit homesick recently.”

“It’s not silly at all, my dear. Once your horse is here, let's arrange for a morning ride. The Autumn grounds are the most peaceful in the early hours."

Your smile reflects the gratitude in your heart as you look at Lady Autumn. She, in turn, observes her son, who raises his tea to his lips, attempting to conceal the small smile playing on his face. It does nothing to mask the gleam in his eyes. Lady Raelynn is well aware that the sweet gesture is not Sawyer's doing. It's Eris's.

a/n: sooo I'm literally just going with vibes for this series (vibes to songs as that is what inspires most of these.) I wanted to write a slow burn but tbh, I think I'm too impatient for that 😂

When it comes to Sawyer, I do want to explore more of his character. I know that in canon, the Vanserras are menaces but I'd like to hope there's at least one more redeeming brother. I feel like him and reader can fall into a relationship similar to that of Rhaenyra and Laenor from House of Dragon. I also am still stuck between having the marriage actually go through or something drastic that happens that keeps it from happening. Either way, it will be angsty. I left some references in this from a movie that may prompt for more references from said movie. Any guesses? 👀

tagging: @fxckmiup

#eris x reader #eris x y/n #eris x you #eris vanserra x reader #eris vanserra x you #acotar x reader #acotar imagine #eris imagine #eris one shot #acotar x y/n #acotar fanfiction #acotar one shot #acotar!abba #eris vandaddy #eris angel au

[mxtantrights]

where you go, I go

a/n: okay so while I'm writing this whole series for azriel just know that I had this other recurring dream about a plot like this. I couldn't really make it a fully fleshed out story with a happy ending so I decided to type it all out and make it a one-shot with angst and not a lot of comfort (this is your warning, this doesn't end happily) anyways with all of that said, if you decide to read this please enjoy and tell me what you think! <333 also happy valentines day <333

azriel x assassin!fem!reader

5.1k words

The day court was home to many things. Vibrant colors, warm waters, ancient books and of course the very ancient and magical day blade. It's your job to know where that this is at all times.

You can't possibly understand why the shadow singer would try to steal it. Try being the operative word here. While you did sense him enter your court and break into the room where the blade was, it wouldn't have mattered.

Seeing as it is your job to protect the blade at all costs, it never leaves your sight. But that didn't mean you couldn't have fun with those who wanted so badly to get it.

In your pocket you feel a piece of paper appearing suddenly. You reach inside and unfold it. It's Helion. He's requesting your presence. You smile to yourself, this would be fun.

You leave your hiding place, the palace had many hidden rooms and hallways, and walk over to Helion's day room. As you approach from the hallway you can hear multiple conversations being had.

The door is closed so you open it slightly.

"There she is! Come in and greet my guests!" he says happily.

You make sure you face is kept neutral. You had an image to upkeep in this court.

The people respect you and fear you in the same breath. You don't go around killing people but you do often get justice in ways that aren't in the parameters of the law. Whether that be stringing up robbers and looters from their pants, or burning down the houses of dirty criminals.

You keep your eyes straight, not looking any of his guests in the eye. You walk until you are standing behind Helion who sits in his usual seat.

"I was just telling Feyre that I enjoy the new company. This is the inner circle." he says to you.

You nod once.

"She doesn't talk?" Nesta asks.

You know all of them. It's your duty to know The Who's who of the courts. The inner circle of the night court. High Lord Rhysand and High Lady Feyre-Curse breaker. Her sisters Elaine and Nesta. Rhysand's brothers Cassian and Azriel. Morrigan, past fiancee of Eris Vanserra. Amren, a mythical creature of serious power.

Helion laughs at Nesta's question. He knows you talk. He knows you very well, seeing as he practically raised you. But that information isn't public knowledge.

"She does, but not when theres something wrong." Helion answers.

You look at all of them now. How the girl closest to the shadow singer, Elaine, looks worried. And it's quick, you almost don't catch it, but you're so good at your job at this point.

"Trouble in the day court?" Rhysand says.

You lean over and whisper into Helion's ear about the blade. How the shadow singer came here to steal it, on a mission from his high lord. How he thinks he got away with it.

The room goes quiet as you pull back and Helion sits back in his chair. He loves the dramatics you pull off every single time someone tries to take the blade. The last person you caught was really delighted to be drowned in glitter, confetti and manure.

"Is there something you're forgetting?" Helion asks.

Rhysand looks at his inner circle with an incredulous smile. Then he looks to you, no doubt trying to read your mind. You can't imagine this will go over well either.

You can't feel it. The daemati powers that certain fae have don't work on you. You're not really sure why. Might have something to do with your unknown lineage. Or your overall hardheadedness-so Helion says.

Rhysand cocks his head to the side at your unmoving posture. He's still looking at you. You however are taking in the shadow singer. He's sitting there, not bothering to look at anyone. He must really think he got the blade.

"What would that be?" Feyre asks this time.

"Well, when you want something that another has you usually ask." Helion says.

At that everyone at the table grows grim. Caught red handed is what it seems like. You still manage to hide you smile though.

"Helion..." Rhysand starts.

"If you were anyone else I would have you locked up already. But lucky for me my security system is top notch." Helion smiles and grabs his glass for another sip of what could only be wine.

At his words the shadow singer now looks at the high lord. Your high lord. His face bares no emotion, like he can't afford to give a way a secret or smile.

You've heard about his reputation. But at this point that's all it is. He couldn't even steal from you correctly. This has to be the most interesting thing that's happened this year. You don't get around to much outsider business, you tend to stay out of it.

"I don't think it is." the shadow singer says.

Helion stifles a laugh. But you can hear it. And you know if you can hear it they all can. The room is big but not big enough that guests at a table can't hear things.

"Care to relieve them of their misery?" he looks up to you and asks.

You didn't really want to. But then again you'd have to play nice with them. Helion seems to like this group. Or most likely, his son is friends with this group and he wants to be friends with his son.

You sigh, "Take out the blade."

You watch in amusement as everyone at the table looks at each other. As if they all don't know what they really came here for. The shadow singer though, he's different. He's looking right at you.

His shadows materialize the blade right on the table for everyone to see. Cassian, gives him a look. But Azriel doesn't seem to see it or care.

"That's not the blade." Helion quips.

You call the blade to you with your powers. Being gifted with the ability to control sun made objects is fun most of the time. Most living things are sun made in a sense. So really you could control all things, to a certain extent.

The blade comes flying into your hand. As soon as it makes contact with your skin it transforms. The metal of the blade turns into a vibrant green stem. And the helm turns into the face of a sunflower.

Azriel seems to go through a range of emotions. First confusion. Then understanding. And then the last one, well you can't actually pin down the last one. You've gotten good at reading people but he's harder than others.

"The blade is safe in the day court, where it will remain until you ask for it." Helion says.

Rhysand lets of a breath, "I am sorry about lying, but we're short on time."

"And I thought our alliance was stronger than that. I am sorry too." Helion replies.

Helion stands from his seat, causing the others to match his actions. The sound of chairs on marble floors reaches your ears. You take a step back and cross your hands behind your back.

"We need the blade for a mission." Feyre speaks.

"It could be a simple mission or the end of the world. The fact that you have no respect to ask me tells me everything I need to know." Helion says casually.

You know that he is hurt by their lying. It's not deep, but it's there. He thought he could trust them. He thought because they had good relations with him before that they were better than the actions they are displaying right now.

Of course you know of the good bond between them. Which is why you don't understand why they didn't just ask. Unless there is a well justified reason. Why not ask the high lord for the blade unless he was implicated somehow.

How could Helion be implicated in a mission from the night court. He doesn't know anything, or he would have offered them the blade himself. No this is something he's not at the center of. But it still concerns him.

Lucien. You look at the guests around the room. He is no where to be found. True he's not part of the inner circle. He's an emissary. But if it was something the inner circle could simply ask Helion for, why not butter him up with his son?

Lucien may or may not know what going on.

"Where's Lucien?" you ask.

At you question all of the heads move to you. Right, you hadn't spoken to them this whole time. Well you weren't going to give them a smile and greet them kindly.

"What business do you have with him?" Nesta asks.

"He's in Spring. Managing relations." Rhysand answers.

You nod your head. Spring. If that answer can even be trusted. Let's say you do trust it for the moment.

The inner circle needs the day blade. They didn't want to ask for it. They didn't let Lucien come.

"Were you planning on returning it?" you ask again.

Nesta, rolls her eyes at your question. You can't help the giddiness you feel of getting under her skin. You hardly did anything to warrant it. But it felt kind of good.

"As soon as we were done." Azriel answers this time.

You don't ignore the stress he puts not he word soon. You also don't ignore the way his eyes seem to never leave yours.

"That blade is our most powerful weapon. We don't just give it out to anyone." Helion chimes in.

He maneuvers around his chair and stands behind you. When he grips both of your shoulders with his hands, you can tell he's smiling even if you can't see him.

"But I will let you use it," Helion continues, "on one condition."

"Go ahead." Rhysand says.

"Wherever the blade goes, she goes." Helion says.

"That won't be necessary." Nesta says.

At the same time Cassian says, "That's odd."

Helion shrugs his shoulders and lets go of you. He leans into your ear to whisper his next words very carefully. When you understand him and what he wants, you nod your head only once.

He grabs the sunflower from your hands as you uncross them from behind you. Helion stands next to you now. You watch as Helion brings the flower up to his nose and gives it a sniff.

"We agree to those terms." Azriel speaks up.

"Woah hold on-" Rhysand tries to cut in.

"Great. I think this will be beneficial to both courts." your high lord agrees.

You turn to face him now, your back towards the guests. Helion was looking at you with a very faint smile. You heard every word he whispered to you. And you understand the reason why: Family.

What you don't get it is why he won't just speak to Lucien himself. Why play nice with a high lord that knows his son when he can just reach out to him? Invite him to the day court or send him a letter.

Everyone in this room knows Lucien is Helion's son, except Lucien. And now your mission is to tell him so that he might finally have a true place to call home.

Helion wouldn't so easily agree to lending out the blade like this if it weren't for Lucien. And the night court wouldn't try to steal it if Lucien did know, because he could just ask on their behalf.

Your shoulders sag at the thought. You had no interactions with Lucien. You only ever heard of him from Helion and he only started referring to him as his son a couple of months ago.

It'll be you. You'll be the one to see him, come eye to eye to him, and tell him the truth.

You can see it in his eyes. The sadness. You'd do anything for him. He's a father figure to you. And you'll see this through, for his sake and Lucien's too.

"Promise me you'll smile a little bit during your trip." Helion says.

"The Sun Wraith doesn't smile." you answer.

"You're the Sun Wraith?" Cassian's voice asks.

You turn around and face the general. It's all over his face. The look of shock. It wasn't hard to become something of a legend in this court and the ones surrounding it.

"Even people in the night court are scared of you." Nesta says.

On her face seems to be another emotion. Not fear. Not shock. Something lighter amongst the surface. Admiration maybe? You aren't too sure.

"I'll grab my things." you say to no one in particular.

"And the blade." Azriel's voice sounds.

"I never go anywhere without it." you say, reaching behind you.

Grabbing the flaps of your yellow vest you flip it over and your hand wraps around the hilt of the blade. You pull it out for all of them to see.

"Best security in all of the courts." Helion jokes.

-

THREE WEEKS LATER

The mission has barely begun and you hate it here. You hate it in the night court. The days are shorter and you feel pale without even looking into a mirror most days. Nothing beats the sun of the day court on your skin.

Amren had told you it would get better. After your first meeting she had taken a liking to you. You were told by several members in the inner court that it was no easy feat. She talked to you the most out of everyone.

Second to her, came Nesta who was just curious about the things you allegedly did or did not do. You held off on telling her anything too juicy. It was funny toying with her with the details. She also likes your fighting style. Morrigan too.

Azriel talks to you. Sometimes. He's friendly to a point. Cassian is more friendlier than him but you're starting to understand it's just in his nature. Feyre and Rhysand are cordial. Elaine is, well you've been told that she's nice but you haven't really seen it. She greets you but that's it.

The inner circle didn't get on your nerves. But you also had your own mission. Deliver the news to Lucien that Beron isn't his father, Helion is.

Which is why though this whirlwind of a mission you're laying down on path of grass outside of the House of Wind. Weird. What was even weirder was the fact that Velaris, a secret city inside of the night court, has existed for so long with no one none the wiser.

You squeeze your eyes shut. Trying to turn your brain off. It wasn't working. The sun wasn't the same, it does't feel the same. You can't call off this mission either.

"Is this what you do in the day court?"

You'd know that voice anywhere. Which is weird to say as you've known the male for a couple of weeks now. But it's true. Azriel's voice was distinguishable from others. A bit low, but still soft. Clear.

"Yes." you answer.

"Is that all the explanation you can give me?"

"Yes."

You think he'll go away. He plays nice because you have the blade. He needs the blade, which means he needs you. Once he no loner needs the blade he won't need you.

When you hear the sound of him getting closer you want so badly to open your eyes. But you don't. You keep them closed. As much as you want to open them and see what he's doing.

The sound of him laying down beside you on the grass is one you weren't expecting. Also the feeling of soft cold tendrils nipping at your arm.

"It feels...nice. A bit cold." he speaks.

Of course he'd complain about he cold. Nesta had told you that Illyrians were whiny babies. You'd seen it personally when Cassian couldn't get a certain dish because there were no more potatoes for the day.

And now here his brother is. Complaining.

You hold up your left hand, the one close to him.

"Give me your hand." you command.

You half expect him to decline. To maybe even get up and leave. Or maybe say that he doesn't mind the cold. The other half of you expects him to just listen you-to see where it goes.

He takes your hand. You focus on letting the additional warmth you normally feel from the sun flow from your hand and into his.

Out of all the things you half expect and do expect, his laugh is something you don't plan for. It's deep. It comes from his core. It's gentle too. Which you wouldn't get just from looking at him.

"It's warm." he says.

"That's how the sun feels in the day court." you answer.

"I think you just spoke more than three words to me."

You scoff, "Don't get used to it."

"That was four words."

"Shut up."

"Two. We're regressing."

"Azriel."

"I'll be quiet now."

This is how you spend your time. If you are not training with Morrigan, Amren and Nesta. Or not eating with Cassian in the kitchen. You are laying out on the grass with Azriel in the sun.

It happens more times than you care to admit as the mission goes on.

-

ONE MONTH LATER

This place, Velaris, was starting to grow on you. You didn't want to admit that out loud, or in your letters to Helion. Or how well you were gettign on with Azriel. The trips into the city, the lingering glances and words with hidden layers.

You letters should only have on subject, Lucien.

He has been back from the spring court for two weeks now. You've taken that time to get to know him. You couldn't fathom unleashing the truth on him as a stranger. You don't need to be his friend. But he needs to at least trust the words coming out of your mouth when you say them.

Family dinner they called it. Even though only three of them were related to each other. But you guess that what makes their family unique. They choose each other, every day.

This meal was special. Seeing as you had finished the mission that Helion sent you on to protect the blade. There was a fae that needed to be tracked down and would only come out of hiding if he could see the sun blade.

Of course you didn't let him, but you did convince him that the fake blade you passed onto him was the real thing. When he found it wasn't after he revealed his intentions with it he got angry.

Angry enough to rain hellfire down on both you and Azriel. If it weren't for your fast thinking and powers you both wouldn't have made it out in one piece.

Now you're sat with the inner circle to celebrate your feat.

Someone clears their throat. This drags your gaze from the redheaded male to the dark haired one. The both of them were sitting in front of you.

How the mother is cruel and precious at the same time. One male is your mission which you planned for. The other male you didn't plan for, and yet...

"Az was asking if you miss home." Morrigan says from your side.

"Dearly. But its not bad here." You speak, not quite realizing what you just did.

You watch as Azriel's smile grows and grows on is lips. It hits you then.

"Wipe that smile off your face before I take it back." you say to him.

"No I don't think I will." he jokes.

You shake your head with a light laugh. You can pick up on his laugh too from across the table.

"Well if it means anything, you fit in well here." Amren speaks up.

Everyone at the table quiets down at that. You look over at her, peering around Morrigan. You nod once at the sentiment.

"You need to tell him." Elaine says suddenly.

You look to her sharply. She's gotten better about speaking to you. More than a greeting but still less than a conversation. It does weird you out some times but you let it go for the most part.

"Oh?" you ask rhetorically.

"Elaine I don't think we should discuss this here." Feyre starts.

"He needs to know." Elaine says again.

It upsets you. She is his mate. She is the one connected to him. She has known this secret longer than you. But you'll be the one to tell him? She doesn't want to get her hands dirty. None of them do.

"What do I need to know?" Lucien asks all of a sudden.

You look to him. Hoping nothin is being given away by your face. When no one answers him he scoffs lightly to himself and looks around at the table.

This is happening now.

"It's obviously about me, none of you can look me in the eye except for her." Lucien continues.

"I can tell you, in private." you offer.

He nods his head and gets up from his seat. You follow his lead and get up too. The two of you walk out of the dining room and onto the balcony. You pull the door close behind you.

"Before you say anything, do they all know about this?" he asks.

He can't be asking about Elaine. She's the whole reason you're having this conversation right now. No, he's talking about Feyre. His friend. Or who he thought was his friend.

What can be left of a friendship after a lie like this?

"Yes." you answer simply.

Lucien shakes his head, "Okay, you can tell me now."

You take him in. The tense shoulders. The bowed head. His hair is perfectly combed behind his back. In this light, he looks like Helion. Not too much, but just enough.

How do you up end someone's life?

"Lucien do you ever think about what it felt like growing up with Beron as your father?" you ask.

Lucien looks at you sharply, "It was unspeakable. I wouldn't wish that life on anyone."

"And it shouldn't have been yours either." you reply.

His brows furrow. Right in the middle like they want to meet so badly. You wonder if he's felt like an outsider before. If he's ever felt it amongst his brothers. The black sheep.

"When my mission is over here, do you think you could come back with me to the day court?" you ask softly.

His face goes from confusion to somewhat understanding. But you haven't told him enough for him to completely get what you're saying, what you're asking of him.

"A couple of times Eris tried to make me visit the day court." Lucien admits.

You nod your head at that. Of course. Ever the perfect actor. You knew him for a little slice of time in your life. A period in which you won't ever forget. He was your first kiss. You were young and kids, trying to figure out your own way in life.

Kissing Eris, the treacherous fox of the autumn court, was every bit exciting at your age. You gossiped, and word got around. But he didn't deny it. For all the lies and manipulation he pulled you thought he might say you were delusional, that you had made it all up. But he backed you claim.

Eris knew Lucien wasn't Beron's son. Eris probably protected him as best he could. In his own, Eris way. Whatever that means.

"You can invite him too." you say.

Lucien looks past you. No doubt at the inner circle lingering inside. If you were in his position you wouldn't even go back in there. You'd never talk to any of them again.

"I'll take my leave now, but thank you. For being honest." he says.

You give him a small smile, "To be clear I was to tell you the news in a gentle manner. What just happened was out of my hands."

"I get it. I'll see you around." he says.

You bid him goodbye. Then he's walking past you. You hear the door open and how voices inside seem to call his name. You don't hear him respond to any of them. You hear the front door slam.

With a breath you turn around and head back inside too. When you do everyone is looking right at you. It unnerves you. You hate it.

"I've done your dirty work now. I think I'll call it a night." you speak.

"He didn't deserve to find out like that." Feyre says.

"You're right, he deserved honesty from his friends." you retort.

"You were sent here to tell him the truth. Am I wrong?" Rhysand asks.

You turn to face him clearly. You can't believe he just said that. You cannot believe he formed the words with his mouth to say that to you.

Without saying another word you walk right out of the dinning room. You ignore Nesta and Amren calling out to you. And you ignore the shadow that walks with you right out of the room and into he hallway.

As soon as you get inside of your guest room the shadow disappears.

SUNRISE, THE NEXT DAY

You're skip training and packing for home instead. You wish you could pack faster but that isn’t possible. You don’t want to be here for another second. Not in this court, not among the inner circle.

When you throw in your last few shirts into the luggage a knock raps on the door. You don’t know who it is, but if it is Rhysand or Elaine you won’t open the door.

“Who is it?” You ask.

“It's me, can you open up?”

You go over to the door and open it. Standing there on the threshold is Azriel.

“I’ll be leaving soon.” You say.

His eyes seem to widen at that. You watch as he peers over you and takes in the bareness of the room, and the packed luggage. He straightens himself out.

“Why so soon? It feels like you just got here.” He replies. 

Based on his words alone he doesn’t want you to leave. You can feel it too. How it’s only been a month or so but the two of you are comfortable around each other. 

You sigh, “The mission is over.”

“And we’re back to this? Four word sentences?” He asks.

“Azriel.”

He looks down both sides of the hallway. His head turning left then right. Then he’s turning back to you. He looks nervous. Antsy. He doesn’t normally look that way. He’s usually so composed. 

He takes you by surprise. He side steps into the room and closes the door behind him. At that you know your eyes go wide. He holds up his hands in defense.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry for that but I just—are you mad at me?” He asks.

You scoff, “Yes I am.”

“Okay I knew that, but I was also confused because on that mission you saved my life.”

“Hardly.” You answer simply.

He groans at your one word answer, “You made sure those arrows didn’t plant themselves in my wings. You made sure I was safe.”

“It was nothing.” 

“No it was something.” 

You’re catching on now to how tense he is. Tense or nervous you can’t tell. His eyes are frantic. His breathing is also uneven. And his shadows are fully out on display now.

You do the one thing you can think of. You reach out for his hand. He doesn’t even seem to notice it. When you make contact he looks you in the eye. “Please calm down.” You whisper.

He bows his head, his hair covering his face now. All of a sudden he sinks to his knees. The action catches you completely off guard. 

“I’m sorry.” He says again.

You focus on sending him warmth from your hand. In a second you can see his shoulders begin to shake. From this angle you can’t tell just yet if it’s what you think it is. 

So you bring your free hand to the side of his face. You feel it. In the palm of your hand you feel his wet cheek. He’s crying. Azriel the shadow singer is crying, on his knees in front of you.

“I could have died and for the first time in a very long time I felt this deep regret in the bottom of my belly.” He chokes out.

What would he have to regret? 

Slowly you drag you hand down his cheek. You place your pointer finger under his chin. Titling his head up, you meet his eyes. From this close you hadn’t realize how many shades of brown they hold.

“Azriel, you’re okay. I promise you you’re okay.” You whisper.

He shuts his eyes, more tears flowing down his face now. 

“I don’t think I will be.” He admits.

“Why?” You ask.

He opens his eyes again. 

“Because you hate us now, you’ll never come back here.” He answers.

In a sense he was right. Not totally. You didn’t hate the inner circle. You just couldn’t stand what they did last night. How they acted, how none of them would fess up. Even though some of them had known Lucien for a long time.

But you didn’t hate them. You didn’t hate him.

“I don’t hate you.” You reply.

“I could see it on your face last night. And now, you’re leaving so quickly. You want nothing to do with us.” He adds on.

There’s silence between the two of you. The emotions Azriel is feeling right now feel heavy. Way too heavy for someone he’s only spent about two months with. 

You had heard many rumors about him. But him being like this, wearing his heart on his sleeve like this? You don’t think you could have ever imagined it.

Remembering that he’s waiting for you to answer, you remember to speak.

“Yes I’m upset and I want to go home. But that doesn’t mean I never want to see you again. Azriel I really enjoyed my time with you.” You speak.

You don’t realize it but your hand is stroking his now. 

He gives you a look you can’t figure out, “Why does it feel like that time is over already? Like I’ll never see you again?” 

He reaches up and places your hand on his cheek again. You don’t emit the warmth from there but he nuzzles into your hand like you are. His thumb rubs back and forth on the back of your hand there.

“You talk like everything is set in stone. Like there is only one path.” You say.

“I can just, sense it.” He explains barely.

You shake you head, “Azriel I was always going to leave.”

“Not like this. Last night changed everything.” He says, but it comes out more like a whisper.

“Get up.” 

He looks at you, a bit of shock. You watch as he follows your command and gets back on his feet. He keeps your hand pressed to his face the whole time. Your other hand falls to your side.

“You can come visit me.” You say.

He’s silent. Silent but he nods his head at your words. You’re not sure if he believes you fully. But it’s enough. He wipes the tears from his face. His wings perk up, off the floor now.

You wrap your arms around his body before you can think against it. Instantly you feel his arms around you. Pulling you closer. He rests his head on top of yours. It feels right. It feels natural. No, it feels like something else too.

It feels the exact same way the sunlight in the day court feels on your skin. Like it is meant to be.

part two here!

#azriel x reader #azriel imagine #azriel fic #azriel one shot #acotar x reader #acotar imagine #acotar fic #acotar one shot

[kindredcandy]

bloody cabin | AZRIEL X READER

A/N: why is it that every time i write fanfic its like sneezing... i have no idea whats gonna come out and im shocked by the experience GIRL IM THE ONE WRITING ITFDSJH yeah so this is messy im sorry but its kinda cute ig? shes chonky, i meant for the prompt requests to be short little headcanony things but... again i was not in control of my body lmao

ALSO this is quite adult content pls heed the warnings. I'd love to expand more into writing whumpy, gory adult stuff

request: “Azriel X reader, 8 and 10 please!!”

8.Patching up wounds, 10.Washing one's hair/helping them bathe after a long day.

WORD COUNT: 6K

warnings: uh i would probably call this 18+. Detailed description of injuries and violence. Trauma, PTSD, burns, fire, scars, anxiety, nudity, undressing, mentions of sex. bathing, fixing up, dealing with trauma, mission gone wrong.

You knew something was wrong before you actually found out. Something in your gut just wasn't right, a unnerving sense that fired the adrenaline in your body with no way to burn it off but to pace the cabin. Azriel should've been back by now. That was the agreement. You would meet at the tiny, unoccupied inbetween house, him and Cassian coming from another side of the mission miles away.

You peered out the window for what must've been the fiftieth time. The weather was biting, cold enough to chill the window panes and make it fog when you pressed a finger to it, but not enough that it should've presented a problem in their journey. Darkness had already fallen, the cover of night beginning to blanket the barren trees surrounding the cabin. The window provided answers to nothing, so you turned and made your way back to the small, crackling fire you managed. You grabbed the iron poke and stabbed at the logs, shifting them as tiny embers flared and sparked outwards. 

You didn't know what would happen if something had befallen the two Illyrians. Partially because they were your ride home, and their part of the plan was crucial, but mostly because the very thought of your family being hurt made everything twist and ache within you. Especially the thought of Azriel— the spymaster who had claimed your heart. The male had been through so much already, you knew he was capable of enduring a lot but it didn't lessen the ache any. You needed to know he was okay before you ripped your hair out from the anxiety of waiting.

It was quiet in the cabin. Silent aside from the wind hitting against the walls, the crackling fire, and the occasional sound of fabric against fabric every time you shifted. It was so quiet. You had been paying the closest attention to every noise for the past several hours— on edge expecting an familiar face to turn up, or preparing yourself if something less friendly decided to show its face.

But even with the silence in the cabin, you didn't hear the footsteps outside. Only aware of a new presence when the cabin door burst open, creaking loudly and sending you shooting across the worn sofa with a hand clutched to your chest. You whirled the second the door opened, but it still took you several moments to compose yourself and process that the dark towering frame in the doorway was Azriel. You nearly gasp out of relief, but your brows draw together when he walks in. Something was wrong. The way he was walking, the way he was carrying himself, his wings... Something was wrong.

"Az," it sounded like a plea.

You rush up from the couch to where he's moved to the round dining table. The door is still open and wind blustering in when he sags against the table, weak and out of breath. In the warm, dim light of the fire and lanterns around the cabin, there's blood clearly smattered across Azriel. His face is smeared, his hair caked with it, his armor glistening and his wings dripping.

You grasp the door, preparing to shut it but waiting for the second Illyrian to appear. You didn't try to hide the concern in your voice. "Where's Cassian?"

"He's fine." Azriel rasped out like it was an effort, but one worth pushing through. He swallows and it almost seems like he's panting, the way he's so out of breath. "The orders changed, he's staying somewhere else."

With that, you shut the door, closing off the bitter winds that had poured into your solstice. That concern you felt at the possibility of Azriel being hurt was magnified ten fold at seeing it in front of you. You didn't even know what to do. It was so unlike him to be this weakened that your mind drew up blank. He'd been hurt before. Badly. But every time there'd been someone else there to help him or he'd been well enough to fix himself. This... You didn't know how to deal with this.

"What happened?" You whispered, closing in on his space. The coppery scent of blood flooded your nostrils as you moved closer and you ignored the way it made your throat tighten. Your hand hovered in his proximity, not sure where to go or what to do.

Azriel looked up at you, hazel eyes dulled with a weariness you hadn't seen him wear... Ever.

He swallowed hard and his eyelids shuttered, breaking contact with you in favor for an unfocused stare across the room. "It was bad. It went worse than we expected and they..."

You were waiting for him to finish the sentence, but something about it told you that he did. That was all he would share of it. Whatever had happened was enough to rattle him and close him off. He wasn't right and you needed to do something.

"Okay," You kept your voice soft. You look around, collecting a mental list of things you need to do, and things to help Azriel. You didn't even know how badly injured he was. "Sit down."

He moves to the couch wordlessly, though the way he limbers, careful and stiff, it was easy to tell there were several injuries for you to worry about. You grabbed him a glass of water from the poor, makeshift kitchen that was part of the main room, and once he was fixed with that, you filled a large pot of water and set it over the fire to heat.

The old feeble couch squeaked when you sat down on it beside Azriel. Your eyes met his for a long second. A weighted second of everything and nothing passing between you two. You two were in the beginning stages of you relationship... Or whatever it was. A fact that shouldn’t have made anything different, but for some reason it did. The nerves you still had around him, the way you might not have been so invested and concerned if you didn’t love him the way you did.

"Where are you hurt?" It takes an absurd amount of willpower to give you the push of confidence to lean forward and begin undoing the straps of his leathers and armors.

Azriel looks down at your hands, his own scarred one still holding the half glass of water. He watches as you unsteadily work the clasps. "I took a hit..." His voice is hoarse and gravely and you try not to think that it's likely from screaming. "I think I cracked a few ribs"

You pause and sigh through your nostrils in displeasure. Not at him, but at the fact that he'd been hurt. He was so distant, so clinical and absent. You’ve been working at undoing his holsters and straps for a few minutes, setting them on the short wooden coffee table in front of you, before you give his face another scan, searching it. Azriel’s eyes are glazed and distant, fixed on the crackling fire in front of him, unmoving aside from the slight rise and fall of his breaths. You’d seen him get that look before around fire and it made your insides twist to think why. It made them twist to see him in this state, so raw and hurt.

You pause your work on removing his armor and weapons to bring a hand up to cup his cheek, a gentle comfort. “We’re gonna get you fixed up.” You push back his caked and dirty black hair, “Okay?”

His eyelids shutter with a soft nod and you click your tongue, running your hand over his cheek once more before you continue unfastening everything. You could tell his thoughts would drift and swallow him if you didn’t at least attempt a distraction, so you talked to him. Gave him something to focus on besides the last few hours he’d endured.

“Are you hungry?” 

Most of his clasps and buckles had been undone, but you knew at some point he would stop you. Azriel was sensitive about who touched his weapons, Truth Teller in particular. You waited for him to stop you in your ministrations but more and more belts and sheaths slid off and he didn’t stop you.

He shook his head once, his jaw still tense, the muscles in it sharp.

You were desperate to ask more details of what went wrong but you knew it would only make things worse. Details could wait until Azriel was stable and cared for.

He leaned forward, helping you discard his belts onto the coffee table and clutching his ribs from the movement. You gently pushed back on his shoulder and he sat back onto the couch, getting the message that you didn’t want him to try to help and worsen his injuries. Azriel hands you the half drained glass of water and you place it on the table as well,

“What do you need?” You asked, your words quieter than the wind against the side of the cabin. With all his armor and weapons shed, you’d begun to work on his leathers, but you paused, your hand resting on his chest until he answered.

“I just need to get cleaned up and rest.” He finally looks at you, his eyes softer than you’d seen them tonight. You could see it in them--- that emotion that often reflected in his eyes when he looked at you. Something gentle, almost loving, When he looked at you like that, it felt like he was taking you apart, piece by piece with only his gaze. Seeing every part of you, vulnerable and thrumming beneath him.

A scarred hand lifts to touch some of your hair that had fallen loose, almost as if he was mesmerized by it. His hands didn’t shake, though you knew they should after everything. If not from the sheer adrenaline then from the pain. But it didn’t, not as it whispered over your hair and then lowered down into his lap. You’re not sure why the attention made your throat swell with the threat of tears while your cheeks burned under his gaze, but it did.

You set back to work on his leathers, the clothing coming off easily once all the straps and holsters inhibiting it had been removed. You tugged it off, revealing tanned muscles and swirling black tattoos. You’d seen Azriel shirtless more times than you could count. Most often after training, when he’d show up with marks and bruises across his perfect body and face. Even after having him in your bed a few times, you weren’t used to it yet. He still made you nervous, his body still didn’t feel like it was yours to touch and gawk at, even if he had no problem with you doing so. The sight of him still made your heartbeat pick up so fast you knew he could hear it.

And when the corner of his lip curled up ever so slightly with amusement, you knew you’d been caught.

“Shut up.” You mumbled through a smile.

The corners of his mouth deepened at your response but you were thankful for the it, even if it was at the expense of your pride. He was distracted. Your cheeks heat under his knowing stare, watching you like a hawk, seeing every part of you.

“Didn’t know I had that kind of effect on you,” He mused simply and looked back to the fire.

“Yes, you did.” You glance up to his eyes before pulling off the rest of his leathers. His pants would be another effort, the numerous holsters and plates complicating things enough that you didn’t think they were worth removing until everything else was treated. He didn’t complain of any injuries below his waist, so it’s likely your effort would only result in flushing your cheeks and making it hard to look at him if you set about removing them.

You’re about to pull down the top of his leather and reveal any injuries, when Azriel stops you with a hand.

“I’m not badly hurt.”

Your brows furrow in confusion. Aside from the cracked ribs and dripping blood, even the way he was carrying himself and staring into nothing was enough to tell you he was in pain.

He must see the questions in your face because he adds “It was a hard mission--- I’m tired, but I’m not badly hurt.” Azriel breaks eye contact to look at his lap, pressing a hand over where his ribs must be hurt. “I just wanted to let you know.”

Yours brows are still furrowed when you look back down to his chest, peeling off the layers of leather as you go. If he wasn’t badly hurt like he claimed, then whatever was weighing on him wasn’t physical.

“Do you want to talk about what happened?” Your tone is careful, eyes flicking up to his and then back down. There’s blood smeared nearly everywhere on the inside of his leathers.

He’s guarded. Sharp, cold walls shifting into place behind his eyes. Not against you, you note, but against whatever had happened. What had he witnessed?

With the top portion of his leathers gone, though, there was nothing to hide the trauma to his body. Purple and black bruises forming across the surface of his skin, That, in addition to the blood. It was everywhere, seeping from a large scrape across his ribs. With the confines of the leather and the way his skin had been ripped off from some kind of harsh impact, blood had pooled in his armor and smeared around, leaking through any crevices it could. 

“Az, this looks...” You trail, not wanting to tell him it looked bad, as that was probably poor bedside manner, but it did look bad. “You would appear to be badly hurt.” The technicality in your words a poor attempt at a joke. He smiles.

“I’m not. I’m just sore and feel really gross.” His voice is still raspy but the way it was lighter brought you some peace.

“I have a bath running now. The water’s not heated, so that’s what that’s for,” You nod to the pot of now-boiling water over the fire. 

With the reminder of its existence, you pause your work on Azriel and haul the scalding pot to the washroom. With your back turned to him, you missed the way he flinched and lunged at your careless proximity to the fire. The tub in the washroom wasn’t the luxury you were used to at any of Rhy’s houses, but it would suffice for tonight. You turned off the faucet, deeming it sufficiently filled and then proceeded to dump the large pot of hot water into it. The sudden addition of boiling water into the cold hissed and steamed, the sound of the splashes echoing in the quiet room

When you returned to Az, he was standing from the couch, undoing what he could of his thigh holsters and buckles without bending over and straining his injury. It was a vain effort, more blood spreading and his ribs visibly paining him.

“Stop that,” You warned from your place at the washroom doorway, the large pot still in your hand. You walked it into the kitchen and filled it up at the sink. “I’ll do it, just let me do this first.”

He watched you, your eyes meeting as the pot quickly filled with cold water that hissed when it made contact with the hot metal.

“I can do it myself.” Azriel reassures and you have a suspicion that it’s his pride speaking more than anything else.

You turn the faucet off, pot full. “But you’re not going to.” You heft it out of the sink and carry it over to the fire, careful to not bump yourself on the metal as you do so.

As you set it on the fire, a hand lightly grasps your bicep. Az wasn’t one for casual touches, so you immediately turned to him, still trying to get the pot set up on the fire rack.

“Be careful.”

You’re even more confused now, almost pausing your effort.

“Just... be careful with that.” He forces the words out and releases your arm, turning away but not completely so.

A few more heartbeats of confusion follow before it finally clicks and you heart seems to stop with the ache that consumes it. You secure the pot and straighten up, brows curved upward. “Az,” You whisper, reaching out a hand to his arm.

He doesn’t move. He doesn’t flinch away, or lean into the touch. He’s just... Still.

Your throat constricts with emotions you can’t put names to. “Az. What happened?”

You knew about his past. You knew he was never fond of fire after that, but he’d never been like this around it. Fires warming the townhouse and the House of Wind were a constant in the cooler months and the shadowsinger had never had an issue with sitting in front of them with a drink or a book. Something must’ve happened on the mission to make him react this way. Something so sensitive to him that he refuses to speak, or acknowledge it.

Azriel’s jaw is tensed to iron and his throat bobs before he speaks. “It was n-” He stops himself before he can say what you knew was going to be nothing. It wasn’t nothing. “It was just too much to tell tonight.”

An answer you hadn’t been expecting. You nod and look down, focusing on getting off his lower buckles and straps instead of the vulnerability he’d just expressed. You’ll care for him physically now, and when he’s ready for you help him through the mental scars then you’ll do that too.

Your hands drop to his upper thigh, ignoring how close the buckles were to his center. Azriel’s eyes didn’t move from you as you tried to steady yourself and focusing only on getting the buckles off and nothing else. You didn’t know if your fingers brushing against him through his leathers had him half-hard and you didn’t look to find out. The holsters and straps come off easily enough, though it feels like they took years longer than his upper body ones had, your lingering proximity to a place you couldn’t think about right then. The knives strapped to his lower calves gave you no choice but to lower yourself to your knees to get them off. You look up to his face for a split second, the curiosity of his reaction outweighing your business mode. His brows were raised and you knew from the angle it probably looked more inappropriate than you had initially thought it would. If your eyes looked like fuck-me eyes from that angle, you rolled them at his reaction, turning them into oh-fuck-me eyes.

He snorted. “Is this why you wanted to do this? All an elaborate attempt to bed me?” You stand up, meeting him face to face. He adds in a low voice, “again.”

Your cheeks instantly flush at the reference to your previous affairs with him, your stomach flipping with the effect his voice had on you.

“If I wanted to bed you again, I wouldn’t need an elaborate plan.” You smirk and undo the laces of his pants with one swift tug, ignoring his shock at your comeback. “These come off, then get in the tub.”

“Y/N, you don’t have to do this.” Azriel says, a reminder of sorts. One that you can’t help but feel is either self-deprecating or part of his guarded pride once again.

“I’m taking care of you.” Your voice is commanding, in a low, gentle way.

When the second pot of hot water is added, heating it to comfortable temperature, and Azriel is effectively disrobed, it doesn’t take long for the clean water to turn coppery orange at his presence. He winces when his wound makes contact with the water at first, but once seated in the tub, he sighs and sags against it in exhaustion, his eyes falling closed. You wonder how long he was flying in the cold. Illyrians were pretty resiliant against the cold, but it didn’t make long winter flights soaked in blood and injuries any more enjoyable.

You found a cup, an old stained washrag in the kitchen and a bar of soap that looked like it could’ve been older than you, but all things considered you were grateful for the resources. And then you set to work cleaning your Illyrian. He put up little protest in the state that he was in. He scooted forward and you tilted his head back, cradling it in your palm and he simply relaxed into your touch. When you poured a cupful of warm water over his hair, a breath loosed from his chest. Azriel was deflating, decompressing at last. The tension still wore heavy in his shoulders and his wings were... You could tell by the way he moved them and the way he held the muscles in his back that he was still on edge. Even if just a little. His movements were twitchier than usual. Less of the smooth, practiced way he normally moved.

The water around him grew filthier as Azriel grew cleaner. Another cup of water gently poured over his head has his hair looser from the blood and dirt that had it stiff at the ends. You ran your fingers through it and he hummed, low in his throat. You couldn’t help the soft smile that danced across your features. You worked your fingers in deeper, rubbing them along his scalp and scraping your nails against him. Azriel sighed now, all tension melting off like butter.

There wasn’t a need for words to fill the steamed air between you. You knew Azriel. You knew when he was exhausted that talking was the last thing he wanted to do. He wasn’t very talkative on a good day, but it took something extra from him to communicate when he didn’t have the energy. You knew he appreciated solitude, silence, shadows, peace. But sometimes the silence would be the wrong kind of silence for him and it grated, triggering something within him. The recessed memories of being locked up, alone and surrounded by silence. 

When silence fell, it was still hard for you to tell what kind of silence it was.

You lathered the bar of soap in your hands, taking an unusually long amount of time to do so due to the shriveled and neglected nature of the bar. Once there were in fact suds, you ran them through his hair, still catching on some tangles and messy spots. The wind always gave his hair the cutest mussed style that made you want to jump him where he stood, but long journeys often resulted more knots and messes than anything else. 

Azriel melted beneath your hands, color slowly returning to his complexion as he healed up and relaxed. The scent of him filled the air more than that of the blood. Purely Azriel. You wondered if he could smell you too, if he was paying enough attention. You wondered what he was thinking of, glancing down to his furrowed dark brows. He was a mystery. An enigma, but gods, he was a beautiful one at that. The angle and the lighting made his jaw a sharp cut and his cheekbones... He was truly a specimen to behold. You didn’t know how you got so lucky. A thought followed by you giving him extra attention, rubbing his scalp and running a soapy hand to rub at his sore neck.

Meanwhile, Azriel was thinking the same, dissolving into the only safe place he had. The only place he’d want to be. You were all he thought of through his entire flight. Images of you, glimpses of daydreams and memories flashed in his head at any moment in which action stalled, even during the mission. You consumed his thoughts with a pure, white hot and holy burning desire to just be near you and feel the presence you bring. You were comfort, safety, patience, and something more. Perhaps it was love, but there was something that Azriel chose to not put name to, that made him crave being near you like an addict. 

And so hurt and naked in a dingy bath in a busted old cabin, Azriel breathed your presence. He sighed at the feel of your fingers on his scalp, working the muscles in his neck too. He was so irreparably in love with you it made his chest hurt to even be receiving such treatment. The gash on his side, the broken ribs and innumerable bruises were dulled to a small thought in the back of his mind when you touched him with such tenderness. The cabin was silent, aside from the crackling of the fire in the other room and the tinkling and splashing of water rinsing him off. It was the kind of silence that should’ve been peaceful, especially after such a chaotic night, but it was half the chaos of the night that made the silence unbearable. Every time his fae hearing picked up the crackle and pops of the logs in the fire, Azriel stifled a flinch or attempted to keep himself level, though it felt like it might’ve been fresh sweat appearing in the place of the sweat he just rinsed. The silence was too much tonight.

He kept his voice from shaking barely. “Talk to me, my love.”

Your brows furrowed for a split second before you understood the implication behind his words. He’d never explicitly explained to you, but somehow, he had a feeling you understood. 

Your hands stilled in his hair as you thought. “What about?”

Azriel made a noise between a hum and a grunt and settled down lower in the tub, leaning against the side. “I don’t care. I just want to hear your voice.”

You’re pretty sure it was part of your broken heart that was what made it so difficult to swallow. His confession, a simple one that tore out a piece of you. A raw presentation of how much he relied on you to get him through this.

“Is it okay if I sing?” You fill up the cup, glancing to meet his fogged hazel eyes. He was looking at you and despite the way he wasn’t totally clear headed, his presence was so intense on average that under these circumstances it still made you squirm to be looked at like that.

“I’d like that.” He whispered, leaning so you could rinse his hair. You did rinse it and were immediately pleased by how much cleaner and softer it was. You couldn’t wait until all of his was cleaned and patched up and you could just rest together in the small rickety double bed.

So you offered your voice, mindlessly humming whatever popped into your head and supplying lyrics when a full song would present itself. It was quiet, a lullaby in the mellow atmosphere of the bathroom. The tile was pressing roughly into your knees by the time you realized Azriel might not even have the energy to finish the rest of his bath on his own. You ran the washcloth down his back, between two dirty bat wings and along the muscles that stood out impressively on the male. You ran it along his front, along his tattooed shoulders and over his collarbone. His eyes were burning into yours now, aware of every movement of yours on his body, but with his attention entirely on you instead of himself. On a better day you might’ve taken the time to slowly feel across the surface of his body as you knew he would give you the opportunity to, but tonight you were strictly business. You’re careful around his injury and when he winced and reached for the cloth to do it himself, you offered it away with no complaint. After he was done with the area, though, he handed it back to you.

You paused your humming, holding the cloth out to him “Did you want to do your wings?”

The automatic assumption that he didn’t want anyone touching them but himself was not just a probable guess, but an obvious assumption. If not based on Illyrian tendencies, then based on Azriel tendencies. And they needed to be washed. Blood, dirt, scratches--- and something else that you’re pretty certain is cobwebs--- cover them in a way that you knew must feel icky.

His wet, scarred hand comes up from the water to push the cloth back towards you, wordlessly.

You gape back at him, unable to process the implications of his action. “Az, don’t you... Are you sure?” Convinced there must be some way you were misunderstanding. 

There were so many things about the situation that made it more than just a brief, casual touch of his wing. He was trusting you with the whole surface area of both of them. You had never even been acquainted with the methods and rules of touching them casually. Like, how sensitive were they? If you rubbed the washcloth on them would that be too much? If they were so sensitive, then how could they use them with such brutal wing beats, supporting their bodyweight against winds? You were lost but your concern and all other thoughts melted away when Azriel leaned forward and spread his wings for you, erasing any doubts to whether you misunderstood.

“Tell me if I’m doing something wrong. Or if you’d like it a different way.” You mumbled, dipping the rag into the bath water and slowly bringing it up to his left wing.

Azriel hummed softly, nerves bouncing around at the idea of what he’d just given you permission to do. You were the only person he wanted to do that. 

You lower the rag, squeezing it so the warm water trickles on the membranous skin first, testing how he reacted to just the feeling of water. He twitched at the first drops hit the sensitive area, but quickly became accustomed to it and then it didn’t seem to bother him much. You had stopped your gentle lullabies in exchange for focusing all your attention on the task at hand. When he didn’t react to the water, you carefully pressed the washcloth down. Azriel didn’t move, so you did, taking it as a good sign. As you cautiously swiped and dabbed across his wing, you didn’t miss the way he reacted to certain areas. Some of them were notably more sensitive than others and you weren’t entirely sure how to interpret the reactions they elicited. Soft sighs, sucking in his breath, tensing and flickering the muscles in his back despite his wings remaining still. You observed them and noted them for later, for a better time. 

When you moved to wash the other wing, Azriel didn’t spread it out for you as much as he had the other. You gently took the task into your own hands, but even with your hand guiding it, he didn’t take the hint and stretch it like you expected he would. A curious observation that had you peering around to scan his face. Only to discover that your gentle ministrations and soft touches had put him to sleep. Your chest nearly caved at the trust in you Azriel had displayed in the past 30 minutes, but you continued washing him, ever so careful to not wake him until the very end when there was nothing left for you to do.

He rubbed at his eyes, a little dazed as he refocused on the world again and remembered where he was and what had happened. You turned to grab his towels and when you turned back around he had stood up, water pouring and dripping off the entirety of his body and back into the bloody bath. You bring the towel forward, only noticing up close with a quick glance that he was half hard. You didn’t know what to make of it, surprised that even in spite of his exhaustion and injuries and despite the way you hadn’t noticed his scent change.

Azriel noticed that you noticed, taking the towel to begin drying himself. “Sorry, I can’t...” He trailed, his voice groggy and gravely. 

You weren’t even sure what he was going to say or what excuse he had but you dismissed it quickly regardless. “It’s okay, love.”

                                                   ◈𝅒 𝅓 𝅒 𝅒 𝅓 𝅒 𝅓 𝅒 𝅓 ◈

Azriel dressed halfway with some old moth eaten pajamas you found in the wardrobe in the bedroom, leaving his top half bare for you to bandage him up. He promised you it wasn’t necessary and that the wound would be closed by the time you two woke in the morning. Despite that being the most words he’d said to you the entire night, it didn’t comfort you much. You knew he just wanted to sleep, but with cracked ribs and a weeping wound on top of them, you would rather stay up for an extra half hour than try to let him sleep with that unbound. The cabin fortunately came stocked with basic medical supplies, a result of Rhys’ priorities.

So you carefully, and as gently as you could, bound his injuries and fastened it so he wouldn’t strain his ribs. All guided by vague, yet helpful instructions from  your patient. There was nothing that required stitches and though you wanted to fret over Azriel and his injuries for longer, it was late at night and both of you were exhausted, his own weariness taking precedence over your desperation to patch him up any further. So, at his request, you grabbed his knives from the coffee table and brought them to bedroom, sliding under the thick quilt and watching as Azriel slid Truth Teller beneath his stiff down pillow. You smiled faintly, watching his careful movements as to not aggravate his injuries. His right hand was still pressed over his ribs, making you wonder just how much pain he was hiding from you, though your thoughts dissolved when his eyes met your yours.

Azriel scans your face, taking in your features with a slowness--- a peace that you knew meant that you had done your job well.

“Thank you... for all this.” He whispered in the quiet of your room. His shadows swirled in the darkness. You couldn’t tell where they stopped and where the unlit bedroom began, the light from the the fireplace in the living room being the only source light.

You brought a hand up to his almost dried hair, running your hand through it lovingly. “Of course, Az.” You leaned forward and pecked his lips in a moment of boldness spurred by blind exhaustion and love. He reciprocated and leaned into your touch. 

You two stayed like that for longer than you realized, just soaking in each others presence. Coming down from the anxiety and stress of the last several hours and just being with one another.

“That’s what I’m here for.” You muttered, bumping your nose against his before pulling back to settle down in bed. 

Azriel does the same, scooting down and situating the pillows comfortably. “And here I thought you just wanted me for my body,” He mumbled and you were grateful for the reappearance of his sarcasm. He lifts an arm, inviting you to cuddle up against him and you immediately do so, appreciative of his warmth in the small cabin.

“I do. That’s why I gotta fix it.” With your head resting on his chest, you look up at him and find him looking down at you with the same lovesick look you know you wore. He leans down and presses a kiss to the top of your head and you shut your eyes at the contact, basking in the warmth of him, the feeling of his skin against yours, the safety in his arms. One of his hands comes up to bury in your hair and you sigh contentedly against him, drifting into sleep like the snow outside that had just begun to float down.

#acotar x reader #acotar #acotar fanfic #a court of thorns and roses fanfic #azriel #a court of mist and fury #acotar one shot #a court of wings and ruin #azriel x reader #azriel fanfiction #azriel angst #azriel shadowsinger #azriel acotar

[needed-as-a-grace-note]

Azriel x Reader - Hollow

This was a night you were finally looking forward to. Ever since the bond had snapped into place for you and you alone, every minute watching them made your heart ache. A soft smile from Azriel to Elain sent the cruelty of The Mother to carve out another piece of your heart.

Elain would never come to Rita’s. It was so unlike her personality, her interests… just her in general. Azriel had been your companion at Rita’s many a time before, indulging you in an occasional dance when you could manage to pull him from the booth when all of the other members of the inner circle were off doing The Cauldron knows what. He always seemed to show a fondness for you that you held close to your heart, until she came around.

You knew Azriel was his own person, and you wanted him to be happy, but knowing that the other end of your string - your bond - was attached to him, it made it damn near impossible not to be jealous, not to be a tad resentful.

You were already running behind the rest of the group, as you had opted to stay with your cousin, Mor, as she finished taking forever to get ready. Sure, it annoyed you, but you couldn’t deny she looked stunning descending the staircase to the sitting room where you were waiting. You couldn’t resist leaping from your seat, the excitement and hope building in your chest as you raced out the door of the river house, Mor following closely behind you.

Your trip to the club had been short, Mor asking you to winnow the both of you there so she didn’t have to attempt to walk the cobbled streets in her killer heels. You turned to smile at her as you threw the door open, pausing when her gaze immediately shifted to someone inside. Your smile slowly fell as you turned, eyes immediately drawn to the familiar tall figure on the dance floor that was spinning a bundle of dark purple tulle on the floor. You barely felt Mor’s hand at your shoulder before you disappeared, winnowing to your room in the town house.

You couldn’t hear your footsteps on the floor as you trudged to your room, could only hear the rush of blood to your head as you could almost feel the chisel chipping away at your heart.

…

You set your eyes on the soon setting sun, attempting to ignore the sympathetic eyes of your family on you as you sat on the back patio of the river house with them. The family dinner had been boisterous as normal, bringing some warmth back to your heart, even as you pretended not to see the lingering gazes and small smiles Elain and Azriel shared across the table. As the evening began to wind down, they had stood up and walked a few paces to her garden. He was astutely watching her as she explained something - whatever it was you could not bring yourself to want to hear, to pay attention to. You couldn’t meet eyes with anyone left at the table, assuming that they now knew about your bond. Rhysand had a knack for picking up on those kinds of things, except when it came to Nesta and Cassian.

You forced a smile as Nyx toddled over to Cassian’s side, immediately dropping it when you heard the rare sound of Azriel’s laugh. You sharply exhaled as you could feel the chisel returning to your heart, hammering away again.

…

You were comfortably curled in the armchair near the fire as Feyre dolled out presents to the rest of the group. You had become excellent at pretending they didn’t phase you, that his recent lack of acknowledgement of your existence didn’t phase you, and lack of present from him in your pile phased you as Feyre returned to her seat next to the High Lord. She offered you a small smile, one you attempted to return as you opened your presents from the rest of your family.

You could visually ignore all you wanted, but you couldn’t block the giggling and murmurs coming from Azriel and Elain across the room that floated your way. You wondered how the rest of the inner circle had managed to ignore it, even smile at the sound of the two as you turned to look into the fire, the chisel once again returning to etch away what it could.

…

He looked stunning under the falling stars. You couldn’t stop your eyes from shifting to him on the balcony he stood upon, even if Elain was wrapped in his arms. You had wanted him for so long, knowing he was meant to be yours, that The Mother blessed you with him. A part of you longed for him still.

His lips met hers, and you took a short breath as the chisel pounded away, only to stop as a harsh empty settled in your chest. You turned and gently set your champagne glass on the small table next to you, pausing a moment to attempt to breathe. You straightened your shoulders, followed by your chin, turning to stride back into the house of wind to your room. You struggled to even your breathing as you unintentionally gave the bond a little pull, unable to stop your natural instinct.

The tug in Azriel’s chest made him drop his arms from Elain and step back. His gaze snapped to your retreating frame across the room, his shadows swirling at the realization. It was you, he finally had certainty, he finally knew, and yet all he could feel down the bond from you was cold, empty, nothing.

For you were finally hollow.

#azriel x reader #azriel x you #acotar one shot #azriel #acotar reader #azriel one shot

[spidey-stark]

Pairing - Azriel x Reader

Warnings - Mentions of death 

Word Count - 2,400+

Summary - It’s the Reader’s first Starfall back home in Velaris after being trapped Under the Mountain with Rhys, though trauma holds them back from fully reuniting with their family-The Inner Circle. Azriel comes to find them, potential feelings beginningto rise to the surface.  

A/N - I don’t know what this is. I was just absent-mindedly writing and this is what I ended up with, so I might as well post it. Be kind, I haven’t ever wrote for Azriel before so I’m still learning the best way to write for his character. I also haven’t wrote anything in quite some time so ya know... not that great. 

It hadn’t made sense at first. 

The city had been my safe-haven, one that filled my dreams Under the Mountain whenever exhaustion would set in and finally force my eyes shut. My beloved temporary escape from Amarantha’s cruel reign, the only remaining tether to my sanity; and now that I had finally returned after forty-nine Gods-awful years, I was left to find that it was no longer what I remembered it to be. 

Velaris was one of the only places to remain untouched by her merciless hands, though it still felt as though it had been stripped of all its beauty, just as the rest of Prythian had been. My home, a place that had brought me such solace, now felt cold and foreign.

Then, eventually, it dawned on me. Velaris hadn’t been the one to change. I had. 

No one had escaped Under the Mountain unscathed and I knew this, but somehow I had been foolish enough to believe that returning home would be the cure to all the horrors I had endured. Velaris was as beautiful as ever-the same warm, welcoming city that I loved with all my heart. But I was no longer beautiful. No longer warm. No longer willing to welcome anyone into my life, including my own family. 

A part of me had expected Rhys to share in that realization, to have a similar feeling of unease as we were forced to relearn how to exist within the confines of our home. The two of us had felt things under there that our friends would never fully understand, seen things that I knew would haunt us for centuries. I hadn’t thought it foolish to assume that he too would struggle upon returning home; upon remembering what it felt like to be safe. But, I soon realized, that I was the only one to feel a sense of estrangement here. The only one who hadn’t stopped living as if they were still trapped Under the Mountain. 

We were all meant to spend Starfall together, celebrate as a family for the first time in decades. Yet, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t bring myself to go downstairs and join them. I could hear the sound of their laughter as I stood atop one of the many balconies a the House of Wind, listening as they made small talk and drank wine. I wanted them to be happy, I wanted to be happy with them, but the sound of their joy only left me feeling more hollow. 

I leaned against the balcony railing, burying my face in my hands and savoring the feel of cold palms against flushed cheeks. I tried to will that empty feeling away, sighing as it only began to morph into the only other emotion I had felt since returning: sadness. At this point I wasn’t sure which was worse. 

As tears began to well up in my eyes I felt the soothing touch of shadows brushing against my bare arm, grazing gently just below the sleeve of my gown. My head instinctively snapped up from my hands, once again letting the emptiness consume me in an effort to hide just how broken I had become. 

“Mor sent me to look for you.” 

Azriel’s footsteps had been feather-light as always, a carefully honed skill that worked to his advantage as the resident Spymaster. His shadows continued to whirl around my arm, acting as a considerate gesture to make sure I had been aware of his presence rather than just sneaking up on me. 

“She’s asked for you about a dozen times in the past ten minutes.” 

I forced a chuckle at his words, followed by a small smile. “I’m sure she’s already raided the wine cellar and began overindulging herself by now, yeah? Give it a bit longer, I’m sure soon enough she won’t even notice I’m missing.” 

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that since she’s had to suffer through forty-nine years without her favorite drinking partner. If you don’t hurry up and drain the rest of the cellar with her then I doubt she will be quick to forgive you.” 

Azriel came to join me in leaning against the railing, his head tilted towards the sky as his shadows began to dissipate. For a moment he indulged in the silence between us, giving me some time to think over my list of excuses as to why I wouldn’t be joining them tonight. Then, he spoke again. 

“Where have you been lately?” 

The question was deceptively simple and didn’t come with an easy answer. 

“Well,” I took a heavy breath, beginning to pick at my nail-beds, “Rhys signed off on me going back to work so long as I work under Madja for the time being, so most of the time I’m in the city. I tried to tell him it was silly and I didn’t need to be supervised, but you know Rhys. He insists that it’s for the best so I don’t get too overwhelmed.” 

Madja had been the one to oversee my training when I first decided to become a healer. I had just barely completed my training before Amarantha’s reign began, and my time spent Under the Mountain had only aided me in honing the skills she taught me as I tried to tend to whatever injuries I could. But Rhys had been alongside me as I fought to heal as many as I could, had witnessed the way each person I lost had taken a piece of me with him; likely the reason why he had felt more comfortable having me work under Madja rather than begin healing on my own again, an attempt to place less weight on my shoulders for a while. 

“While I’m glad to hear that you’re working again,” I could feel his gaze shift from the stars to me, though I still refused to look up from my own hands, “you know that’s not what I meant.” 

Another smile tugged at my lips, though this one was genuine, albeit weak. “You can’t blame me for trying to avoid the question, can you?” 

“Not at all, though I do hope you’ll try and answer it anyway.” 

“Gods, things really have changed, haven’t they? It used to be me having to pester you to let your feelings out. I guess the tables finally turned.” I shook my head at the thought of all the nights so long ago where I would fight to gain Azriel’s trust, and the ones that followed where he would actually share some of the things that plagued him. “I think I’ve just been stuck in my own head lately.” 

A weak answer, one that I knew wouldn’t satisfy him, because I wouldn’t have been satisfied with it either if the roles were reversed. 

“You’ve been home for months now and yet this is the most we’ve spoken to each other--so I’ve noticed that you haven’t been very present.” His words were so careful, so gentle, and they were laced with so much concern that it made my stomach twist. 

“Have I?” Been home, I mean.” I forced myself to look away from my hands, glancing over at him as his brows furrowed together at the question. “I know it probably doesn’t make any sense, but it just doesn’t feel like home anymore, ya know?” 

“Velaris?” His head tilted slightly as he spoke, offering me his full attention. 

“The world.” I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding, averting my eyes from him again to stare at the stars. “I used to have so much faith in everything. Maybe not in the Gods or even the High Lords, but in the world. I believed that there was a purpose to it all, believed in the beauty of life--the same beauty that made me want to become a healer. And now? All of that is gone. I don’t have faith in any of it anymore.” 

The weight of sadness began to creep back into my chest, once again filling the hollow space and making me feel weighted. 

“I thought being back home would fix that. That seeing anywhere that hadn’t been touched by her would fix it. It was supposed to give me something to believe in again, to know that something beautiful had survived.” I chewed on my bottom lip, fighting to keep my voice even, “Truthfully? I think everything beautiful died under there.” 

“No.” Azriel spoke quickly, not allowing even a moment of silence. He lifted his hand off the railing as though he were going to reach for mine, hesitating at the last moment as it hovered over my skin, ultimately settling against the railing again. “Not everything beautiful is dead. You survived.” 

“Is it bad that I wish I hadn’t?” It fell from my lips before I had a chance to stop it, the collected mask that Azriel always wore falling in an instant, replaced with an emotion I couldn’t quite figure out. “I tried to save as many lives as I could, but there were just too many that needed saving. Some of them were beyond help, but fuck Az, some of them? They begged for death, begged me not to help them. Death was just a means to an end for them, and honestly? I think they might have had it right. It would have been better to die than to live like this.” 

He didn’t fight the silence this time, letting it grow until it felt like I was suffocating in it. I turned my head towards him, his lips parted slightly though no sound came out, words lost upon the Shadowsinger at the confession. 

“I’m sorry.” It came out as a whisper as a new emotion flooded through me for the first time in years. Guilt-for thrusting the weight of my problems onto him. “I shouldn’t have put that on you.” I cleared my throat, forcing myself to be louder this time. “It’s just--I don’t know--there used to be so much good in the world, and I just can’t see it anymore.” 

“Try a mirror.” His statement was forward and a bit awkward, a hint of desperation behind the rushed words that was entirely unlike him. “You know, once we realized that you and Rhys weren’t coming back, that there was absolutely nothing we could do to save the two of you, you were what got me through Y/N. I took my favorite things about you-like the way you would smile whenever all of us would find time to be in one room together-and I committed them to memory. And every grueling day that I had to force myself out of bed, every day I was forced to live without you, I would think of them. I would use them to remind myself that I couldn’t give up. I couldn’t lose faith. Because even if I couldn’t see you, I could still feel you, and I wasn’t going to allow myself to give up until you were safe again.” 

Azriel’s hand raised again and this time he didn’t hesitate as his hand pressed itself against my cheek. I forced myself to stay still against his tough, afraid that if I moved even slightly he would take his touch away. 

“When I first met you, you forced yourself into my life. Spent years clawing at the walls I built around myself, around what happened. You never gave up. ” His thumb hesitantly stroked my face, scarred skin against smooth flesh. “You are all the proof I will ever need that beautiful things still live.” My eyes fluttered shut, an unfamiliar warmth spreading through the hollow space that lived inside me, “You’re one of the most intelligent healers I’ve ever met, and so you know that trauma doesn’t heal overnight. But I can promise you that all of us are here to help you. I am here to help you, in whatever way you need.” 

I felt his breath against my skin as he spoke, warm and minty, and I squeezed my eyes shut even tighter to try and fight against the tears attempting to force their way out. 

“You’re not a prisoner anymore. You’re allowed to come home, love.” 

“I’m terrified.” My voice wobbled as a I spoke, forcing myself to look at him, tears sliding down my cheek and falling against the hand still pressed against my face. “What if the pain never goes away? The fear?” 

Azriel let himself smile, “It never goes away, not fully. But it changes, becomes more numb with time, until you barely feel it at all. And I’ll be right there with you every step of the way.” 

There was a sudden crash from downstairs that sounded like the shattering of a bottle, followed by an eruption of drunken laughter. Azriel rolled his eyes at the noise while I couldn’t help but let out a giggle of my own through tears. “They’ll be there for you too, I’m sure.” 

“I don’t want all of you to be worried about me, though. I don’t want you worrying about me.” I playfully shoved his arm, “There’s so much happening, so much to focus on. Worrying about me will just add to the stress.”

“You could never add to my stress.” All hints of teasing vanished, his tone serious as he now used both hands to cup my face, hazel eyes glued onto my own. “I’ve worried about you for the last forty-nine years. At least now I get to do it with you by my side. You matter so much to me, Y/N.”

He didn’t follow it up with a reminder that I also mattered to our family, that everyone worried for Rhys and I’s safety Under the Mountain. He spoke only of himself, in such a personal and intimate way. That unfamiliar warmth in my chest began to grow larger, accompanied by an overwhelming sense of nerves as he leaned closer to me, pressing his lips against the top of my head.

My heart threatened to beat right out of my chest as he pulled back from me, his hands falling from my face as that composed mask of his began to take over his features again, though a tinge of crimson coloring still painted his cheeks under the moonlight.

“I should probably rejoin everyone before they send Cassian after me.” Azriel took a step back, silent for a moment before offering his arm towards me, “You’re welcome to accompany me. I know everyone would love to see you-especially Mor.” 

I took a few deep breaths, steadying my still-racing heart before moving towards him to lock arms. 

“Time to come home.” 

#acotar imagines #acotar azriel #actoar imagine #azriel imagine #azriel imagines #acotar imagine #acomaf #acowar #acosf #azriel headcanon #acotar azriel imagine #acomaf imagine #acowar imagine #acotar headcanon #acotar one shot #acotar one shots #bat boys #azriel one shot #azriel headcanons #acotar azriel imagines #a court of thorns and roses imagine #a court of thorns and roses imagines #acotar rhysand #acotar cassian #acotar bat boys imagines #azriel shadowsinger #azriel fluff #acotar fluff #acotar smut #acotar azriel fluff

[shadowsxgwynriel]

Babysitting Part 2 (Short story)

Just another one shot of Azriel watching Nyx, only this time he has some help.

Word Count: 637 (another short one)

Read on AO3

Nyx was crying and Azriel was at a lost. Nothing he did worked to soothe the crying baby, not even when he hummed. Feyre had warned him that Nyx was teething when they dropped him off at the House of Wind, but he hadn’t realized it would be this bad.

His shadows had long since disappeared, deserting him at the first whimper from Nyx. The House, at least, was trying it’s best to help out by conjuring up toys and even a miniature Pegasus, which was currently munching on some fake grass in the corner of the room.

Nyx was rubbing his face against Azriel’s chest, clearly in discomfort due to his aching gums. Azriel picked up a stuffed bat that the House had provided and handed it to Nyx, who immediately started to gnaw on one of the wings.

“Better?” Azriel asked in relief.

Unfortunately, this only distracted him for a few minutes before he threw the bat on the floor. Nyx let out an ear piercing wail, causing Azriel to wince and for The House to start working double time, conjuring up multiple toys until the room was almost full to capacity.

“Is everything okay in here?” Gwyn asked from the doorway. Azriel noted that his shadows were lounging on her shoulders, as if trying to hide.

“Nyx is teething,” Azriel explained. “I can’t seem to calm him.”

“Oh no, you poor darling,” Gwyn cooed.

Azriel blushed. “Thank you, I-“

Gwyn took Nyx from him and started swaying with him. She looked at Azriel with a small, questioning smile. “Hmm? Did you say something?”

“Nope.” He blushed even more. She had been talking to Nyx. Not him.

Nyx pulled on her hair, bringing it to his mouth to try and chew on the coppery-brown strands. She gently removed his tiny hand from her hair, not seeming to mind that it was now damp with baby slobber.

She picked up another stuffed bat and handed it to Nyx. He chewed on the ear this time.

Gwyn started to sing softly. It was a beautiful sound that filled him with an indescribable warmth. His shadows sang in harmony with her, swirling around her in what appeared to be a type of dance. Even the miniature Pegasus and House seemed to be transfixed by her singing.

Nyx gazed up at her with a gummy smile, wings fluttering in delight as he cooed. Azriel couldn’t tell if he was trying to talk or sing as well, but it was really cute.

“You have a beautiful voice,” Azriel told her.

Gwyn smiled at him. “I’m still waiting for the day that I can hear yours, Shadowsinger.”

Azriel grinned. “We’ll see.”

Nyx let out disgruntled sound, obviously not happy that Gwyn had stopped singing.

She chuckled and continued to serenade the spoiled bat baby—Azriel was a bit jealous, though he would never admit it. A few minutes later, Nyx was snoring peacefully, and Gwyn’s singing turned into a gentle hum.

Something clenched in his chest at the sight of Gwyn holding a sleeping baby.

~~~

Feyre and Rhys had left a few minutes ago with a wide awake Nyx, much to Rhys’s dismay. Azriel bet his brother had been hoping for a peaceful night with his mate.

“Thanks for your help,” Azriel said to Gwyn.

She gave him a charming smile. “You’re welcome, Shadowsinger. Maybe now we can go over some more dagger lessons?”

Stay, his shadows seemed to urge him. And Azriel did want to stay, but he was also tired. Even though he doubted he would sleep easy tonight, he did feel a lot more relaxed and figured maybe he could get at least a few hours of sleep, but . . .

“How about tomorrow?” he told her. His shadows whispered in approval.

“I’d like that.”

“Me too.” And he would.

#azriel #nyx acotar #azriel’s shadows #azriel babysitting #gwyn berdara #House of Wind #gwynriel #pro gwynriel #gwynriel headcanon #gwyn x azriel #acotar one shot

[flickering-chandelier]

Soo for a request i would just wish for fluff.

Maybe where az meets reader at a market and can’t forget about her, so the next time he sees her he asks her out. The first date went well but after that reader is always late or even has to postpone the date. So az goes to her home to talk to her and tells her that she doesn’t have to go out with him if she doesnt want to but before reader can say anything a small boy who is maybe 2 -3 years old runs out and hugs azriels legs and looks up at him with the biggest green eyes. Thats when azriel realised that reader is a single mom. After that they have their dates with her son. Maybe even their first starfall together. 🙈🫶🏼

OH MY GOD I'M OBSESSED WITH THIS.

*cracks knuckles* I'll be back in a few days 🩷

#acotar fic #acotar one shot #azriel x reader #azriel fluff

[imaginesmai]

Hiii I absolutely adore your fics! Especially the angst 😭😭

I was wondering if you could you write something super angsty about when Az comes back from the dungeons after torture and he just looks so... broken.

Y/n (his mate) first comforts him, ofc, but then she's so pissed at Rhys for making Azzy do this that she goes to pick a fight with him. Maybe even the others have to step in after the fight starts to get physical...

You asked for angst and you shall recieve! I kind of imagine Azriel being quite closed off about his missions, so I hope I made this right! Feel free to make more requests, and thank you for your kind words!

Warnings: mentions of violence against children and their death, kind of mean!Rhys but not cruel nor hateful, just a bit dumb. Not a hate Rhysand fic.

Breaking point - Azriel

The fire had already died down, and the dinner was cold. You had spent half of your afternoon cooking, and the other half choosing your best dress. The one that kept Azriel’s eyes captured all night, that seemed to be a magnet for his hands.

It was rare to have a night for the two of you, between his work and yours as an emissary. It was rare to have him accept that night without responsibilities, but lately you always found some excuse to be together. Not mated for too long, Azriel found himself drifting away from his work to your presence.

That wasn’t the case that night.

You stared at the last candle as the fire consumed it, minutes away from turning off. Azriel had closed his side of the bond early in the morning, before you started your shift, but you tugged at it once more. Briefly, softly, tired of hours of waiting with no result.

Part of you wondered if dating the shadowsinger would be always like that. You had never complained about him his work before you, but that night was starting to feel too long.

The brief rush of air from the door being opened turned the candle off, and you turned around with a scowl ready. Your high-heels laid forgotten next to the door, and that would have been enough other times to make Azriel feel bad.

But you watched as Azriel left his own shoes next to yours without saying anything, his shoulders tense and his wings dropped.

“Az” you stared, squinting your eyes to see in the darkness of the night. “Is that blood?”

“Not mine”

His answer was harsh, like the edges of his body. Once your eyesight accommodated to the dark, your discovered that there was indeed blood. Not only the smudge on his neck that you had seen, but also on his clothes. On his wings, dripping to the floor. Dried on his shoes, that had left a few prints on the wooden floor. His hands seemed too crusted with it.

You rose from the chair and he looked at you. His face already looked crestfallen, but after noticing your dress and the dinner table, slumped more. Azriel must have forgotten about the dinner, the date and everything else. You didn’t usually talk about the details of his job, yet you gathered it took a stroll on him most of the days.

Going against every fiber of your body that had been angry minutes ago, you walked towards him barefoot.

“I’m sorry” he sighed, turning around to hang his coat. “Lost track of the time down there. I… forgot”

“It’s fine, I wasn’t sure food was edible. It did smell weird” you tried to change the mood, but he didn’t look at you. “Everything okay? That’s a lot of blood”

“Not mine” he repeated. “It’s been… complicated. Do you mind if I take a shower? We can reheat dinner and eat in the couch. I’m sure we can savage something”

“Sure. There are some leftovers from yesterday”

Azriel was a tough male, and hated to talk about his feelings. You had learned that through hard years of friendship where he didn’t let on any feelings towards you, just cold indifference. Being mated changed some things, but other stayed the same.

It would have been a mistake to try and drag answer out of him, so you let him get away to the shower. He gave you a tense smile and walked out, ignoring the worried glance you casted.

Sounds of clothes hitting the floor filled the silent apartment. You doubted what would be best, if talk to him or leave him alone. Maybe he wanted to be alone, you tried, because he hadn’t asked for your presence. Shared showers were common in your household, but not that time. Biting your lip, you considered what to do until you heard the soft brush of his wings against the tiles of the bathroom.

Azriel wouldn’t be dragging his wings through the floor if he wasn’t devastated.

Fae hearing and smell weren’t a good ally to surprising people, so he didn’t say anything when you closed the bathroom door behind you and undressed. His bulky form took almost all the space, shadows gathering close to the sink and on every corner of the small bathroom.

They brushed against your feet when you pushed the curtain aside and squeezed yourself between him and the wall. There was no way of knowing if those were tears or drops of water on his cheeks, but he still smiled at you.

“Maybe we should wait until tomorrow” he tried, his voice sounding vacant. “I’m not feeling like it right now”

“It’s the first and last time you’ll hear me say this, but I’m not thinking about that right now. Do you want to talk about it?”

“About me not wanting – “

“About today, love. I’m right here if you want to talk” you wrapped your arms around his chest, staring up at him. “Maybe it’ll feel better if you let it out”

“Doubt it”

Azriel was a head taller than you, bigger in every aspect, but your eyes still bored into him. He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and his left wing twitched. It was unusual for you to have his naked form so close and do nothing about it, for him to have his favorite parts of you within reach and do nothing.

But that night you weren’t thinking about any of it as his breath shuddered for the first time since you had known him, as composure seemed to crack a little.

His face was pure anguish for a moment, all pain, devastation and sorrow. Every feeling he had comforted you through broke through his face at once. Drops of water fell from his soaked hair, that covered most of his forehead. There was no way of knowing if those were tears of just water, but there was a suspicious salty scent on the air.

“I want to be here for you, but you have to let me” you assured him, squeezing him tighter in your arms. A primal need was born in you to keep him whole, to be the glue to his broken pieces.

“It’s not something you want to hear”

“Nothing you can tell me will make me love you less, or see you different. I already love every part of you”

“Not this part” his voice sounded tight, desperate, as he made eye-contact with you.

“That’s for me to decide, Az, and I’ve already decided. What’s the matter?”

Azriel still seemed to doubt for a second. His hand searched for the back of your hair and he tugged at it aimlessly. He tangled his fingers, now clean of blood, between your soaked locks. As if the words he was about to say would break him in two, he was steadying himself against the wall with his free hand.

Maybe they were, you thought. Azriel never shared his feelings with you. He was a closed person that barely let you inside his heart as his own mate, but you were okay with that. You would give him time, every minute and second he needed, until he was comfortable with giving you his heart.

That moment seemed important enough to deserve a short pause. Azriel’s throat worked around the words, his heart speeding.

“There is a man, in the mountains. He owns a cabin deep in the forest, at least ten miles away from the nearest civilization post. Rhysand has been keeping tabs on him for a while, for some… suspicious activities”

“What activities?”

“Children. Going missing” he explained briefly, avoiding the further explanation. Him sharing something about his life outside you and your family was enough though. “It’s been going on for a while. Devlon’s daughter was between the missing ones, so the camp lord finally demanded something to be done about it”

“And you were the one to do it”

You kept your annoyance to yourself, your thoughts about Rhysand using your mate as his personal guard dog. You might love Rhysand as your High Lord and friend, but the things he made Azriel do were enough to keep your distance from him sometimes.

That time, you braced yourself for Azriel’s information and tried to be as open as possible.

“Yeah”

Azriel took another pause, and that time you were sure those were tears filling his eyes. For any answer, you leaned a bit forward and got on your tiptoes to press your lips to his jaw. It was a soft, brief kiss against his stubble that had him shuddering once more. His head fell even lower after that.

“So that’s where you’ve been all afternoon. That’s fine, no different from any other day” you contemplated when he didn’t continue. “What really happen, Az?”

“You don’t want to know”

He made his intention, his thoughts, clear for a second time. Yet there was a hidden urge on his voice that pressed you to keep asking. The bond was still closed off, but through the cracks of his part, you could feel the need to share it. It was clear that he didn’t want you to be the person to share it with, and you would have normally respected his choice.

But there were tears on his eyes, actual tears on your precious mate’s eyes that were shattering your own heart into pieces. Your strong, brave shadowsinger was breaking in that tiny shower and you were dying to be there for him.

“Azriel”

You just needed his name. It was like a prayer, like an order or a command, like a petition. He used to tell you that you saying his name was enough to put him to his knees, that buckled at the sound. Azriel’s face broke into a grimace and he suck a breath before he finally broke down.

“He kept those children in cells in his own basement. They were so skinny, so small, he wasn’t feeding them” Azriel’s breath sped up, as his words stumbled down his throat. He broke eye-contact and stared at a spot in your collarbone. “I couldn’t tell one apart from another, because he heard I was coming and burned them all down. There was no one left alive”

It took you a moment to separate the horror of the story of his own horror. The one that marked his hands that held you so lovingly, that made you coffee each morning and ticked you in the early mornings. His stepbrothers had burned his hands down, and since then, Azriel hadn’t been near an uncontrolled fire.

“I tried to save them, so save any of them. But they were all ashes”

When Azriel leaned down so he could rest his head against your shoulder, you only held him tighter. When the water turned cold and he started shivering, you just turned it off in silence and guided him to bed.

You dried him with soft touches, stopping to touch every inch of his scarred hands. Helped him get into comfortable clothes and laid with him in silence, letting him knowing you weren’t going anywhere – at least yet. You stared at him with a small smile until his eyes closed and his body relaxed, his breathing finally becoming even.

For good measure, you brushed his hair out of his face. There was no need for him to happen what had happened next. The blood on his clothes, the stains on the wooden floor. You were sure there were specks of blood in his wings, where he couldn’t reach.

Nothing Azriel told you would drag you away from him. He could become a monster and you would destroy the world with him. But that night, after hours of staying awake just staring at him safe from the horrors of the world, you got up and put back your clothes.

Then, you winnowed away.

-

Rhysand had been finishing reports when he noticed the breach in his home. Cassian was sitting on the couch, half-asleep with un-done reports on his own desks.

He had been waiting for Azriel’s that night, but he guessed he would receive it the next morning. When he noticed the breach, he guessed it was his spymaster bringing back information from his latest task.

Rhysand didn’t expect you appearing out of thin air on his office, with a murderous look on your face. He raised his brows lightly, and got up from his chair. He didn’t miss the way you were clenching your fists, so he decided not to cross the barrier between you and him.

“Y/N” he called your name carefully. “It’s late, shouldn’t you be asleep?”

“Azriel just came home. Destroyed. And I’m supposed to be asleep?”

“What happened?”

The mean, sarcastic laugh you barked at his question wasn’t the ‘you’ Rhysand knew. The kind emissary that settled political relationships between courts, that lighted up his brother’s darkness. You snorted again when you looked at his expecting face.

“You mean besides completing yet another cruel mission for you, one he was clearly too attached to? Why do you always send him for the worse ones? What makes your sanity more worthy than his?” you extended an arm and pointed vaguely around the room. “You’ve been here, sitting so comfortably, while my mate was getting his hands dirty on your name. And you dare to ask about – “

“I don’t sit here comfortably, I don’t value my sanity over his. Where is this coming from?”

It wasn’t the first time you had that argument, more common during the last few years. Even when Azriel was just your friend, you had always spoken against his role in Rhysand’s court. You had seen the bags under his eyes, the weight of his actions that he didn’t share with his family.

Cassian perked up from his spot at your argument and raised voices, and noticed the hostile atmosphere immediately. It was hard not to, when your own power was making the lights tremble and your eyes spark.

“Because you are draining him! He’s not a weapon you can yield against your court, he’s part of your family and your brother. And you’re gonna end up hurting him”

“You’re not the person to talk about my court or how I handle those matters. You’re not High Lord and certainly not around enough to question my rulership”

“I am his mate, the one who picks up the pieces. What you do with him isn’t family or brotherhood, is extortion and manipulation” you busted out, taking a step closer. “You saved him, good for you! That was centuries ago! And now he feels like he owns you his life and you just throw him around!”

“Careful there, Y/N. I don’t appreciate how you’re talking right now” the high lord growled under his breath, his own power waking up.

“We should talk about this in the morning”

Cassian tried to interfere, but you didn’t pay attention to him when Rhysand stepped away from the table and towards you. It wasn’t your friend who stood before you, the man you had laughed with and worked for during many years. It was the responsible of your mate’s pain and all you saw was read and hate and Azriel’s first tear rolling down.

You bared your teeth at him like a wild animal, you guessed. You were coming at him with everything you had kept through the years, and maybe it was rushed and mean, but it wasn’t unfair.

“Azriel is my brother, and he’s a valuable resource for our court that I carefully blade against – “

Rhysand’s words died down when your fist collided with the side of his mouth. He stumbled against the table, a pen rolling off. Cassian finally rose from his seat and opened his mouth to warm Rhysand, to stop you or to do something. But he didn’t move as your hand lowered again against your High Lord. You pushed him away from you, and any answer or complain Rhysand had died down when he finally focused on your face.

There were tear tracks down cheeks, and you didn’t look angry anymore. You looked desperate, broken, so sad that it robbed Rhysand’s breath.

He kept still as you pushed him once more, now his body rigid against your touch. You chocked on a sob when he didn’t flinch, your fist hitting the side of his chest. He didn’t stop you when you kept hitting him, pushing him, as you cried down every truth in that room.

You’re hurting my mate

You’re going to kill my mate

Please just leave him alone

It was your begging that made him realize that his mistakes. The sorrows that you poured in them that he saw himself in, when Feyre was hurt. It made him wonder what kind of brother he was for driving Azriel’s mate to that state.

Rhysand took everything you gave him and ordered Cassian with a silent look to leave. The male obeyed with a sharp look, disappearing minutes before your knees finally gave out and you crumbled after a weak punch. You hid your face in your hands as Rhysand tried to keep you straight. Your body shook with sobs and you didn’t have it in you to feel bad when shadows caressed your shoulders as Azriel winnowed behind you.

Your mate gently grabbed you in his arms and helped you get up. Not once he looked at Rhysand, not once he acknowledged his brother’s desperate tries to meet his eyes and speak into his mind. Azriel just held you together as he winnowed back to your bed, where he had noticed you had left him to do what he was too afraid to say himself.

“Just let him be happy” you whined one last time as shadows covered you both. His arms pulled you farther against his embrace. “You fucking prick, let me be happy”

Rhysand watched you two disappear without catching his brother’s eyes once. Azriel only looked at you with a mix of adoration and gratitude, and kept Rhysand off his mind. The High Lord stared at the empty spot you had left for a while, caressing his already bruised jaw.

Then, he fell to his chair and let the doubts and mistakes crowd his mind.

Want to read more? Check out my side blog @imaginesmaimasterlists, where I keep all the masterlists! Feedback is always appreciated

Let me know if you want me to do an Azriel taglist!

Azriel taglist:

@boygeniuses10 , @tothestarsandwhateverend

#imaginemai #imaginesmai #one shot #angst #imagine #x reader #fic #imagine mai #imagines mai #acotar #azriel x you #azriel acotar #azriel x reader #azriel #azriel shadowsinger #azriel imagine #azriel shadowsinger x reader #acotar imagine #acotar one shot #request #acotar request #azriel request #azriel fanfic

[captainsophiestark]

Pajamas

Rhysand x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Fandom: ACOTAR

Prompt: "I can't go in there! Are you crazy?" "And why on earth not?" "Look how I'm dressed!" "Darling, you could wear a potato sack and still be the marvel in any room. Now let's go show them, shall we."

Summary: Y/N is all ready for their date night with their mate, Rhys. They've had a long, stressful time, and are going to spend the night relaxing in their pajamas and having the time of their lives. Unfortunately for Y/N, the other High Lords have different plans. They're set on having a meeting, and for some reason, they don't seem to care that Y/N and Rhys have plans for a date.

Word Count: 1,008

Category: Fluff, maybe a little angst?

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

I stood on the roof of the townhouse in Velaris, head tilted towards the stars as I breathed in the cool night air. Rhysand, my lovely mate, was due to pick me up for a starlight picnic any minute. I'd worn my warmest, fuzziest outfit for a night of stargazing in the countryside. The world around Rhys and I was as crazy as ever, but we made a point of making time to relax with each other, to stay sane if nothing else.

I closed my eyes and took a deep, calming breath. While my eyes were still closed, a wind stirred the roof, and I felt my mate's presence land softly behind me.

"You're late," I said, smiling all the same. I didn't open my eyes. I was still taking in the calming, cool night air around me.

"My most sincere apologies," Rhys purred, closing the distance between us and wrapping his arms around my waist as he pulled me to his chest. "I wish I could make it up to you, but... I actually have some unfortunate news."

I turned in his arms and stared at him with an eyebrow raised, waiting for him to continue.

"You remember all the effort we've been putting into organizing a meeting of all the High Lords?"

"I don't think I like where this is going, Rhys."

"Well, they finally agreed to do one. Now. Here."

"Are you kidding me?" I cried, throwing up my hands in frustration and pushing back a few steps from Rhys. "Why? And what's with the short notice?"

Rhys shrugged, and I could tell he didn't like it any more than I did. Damned High Lords.

"I think they wanted to catch me off guard," he said simply. "We've been trying to convince them of several things about us, our Court, and our city. Maybe they decided to spring a visit on us to see if we were telling the truth."

I scowled and shook my head. Stupid High Lords and their stupid politics. Would it really have killed them to let Rhys and I have one normal, peaceful night?

"Let me change, and then we can go," I finally said. Rhys ruefully shook his head.

"There's no time," he said. "We need to go now."

"Now? Rhys-"

The end of my sentence was cut off as Rhys swooped me into his arms and took off into the sky. I couldn't hold back a shriek at the sudden change in altitude, and I caught my mate with a roguish grin on his face at my surprise.

I smacked him on the arm as payback, but he just laughed.

I glanced towards the House of Wind to see the lights on, and as we got closer I could make out people milling around inside. The other High Lords had never been to the Night Court, and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that this meeting wouldn't go smoothly.

With Tamlin and Berron in the mix, it never did.

Rhys lightly squeezed my arm and leg where he held me, probably sensing my unease, then dropped down to the balcony. He carefully set me down too, and once I had my feet under me again, I put my hands on my hips and glared at Rhys. I could see the High Lords milling around inside the House, but they hadn't noticed us yet.

"I can't go in there! Are you crazy?" I demanded, trying to keep my voice hushed.

"And why on Earth not?" asked Rhys, his hands in his pockets and his posture relaxed. I scowled.

"Look how I'm dressed!"

"Darling, you could wear a potato sack and still be the marvel in any room." He grinned at me, and my heart raced a little bit. "Now let's go show them, shall we?"

He held out his hand to me, a confident smile on his face. I took a deep breath and focused on straightening my posture, lifting my head, and looking like the High Lady I was.

Finally, I smiled and met Rhys' eyes. I took his hand, and he pulled me a little closer to him.

"Alright fine, smooth talker. You've convinced me. Let's show those bastards what's up."

"Ooh, bastards," said Rhys, raising his eyebrows as I took his arm and we walked side-by-side towards the doors. "Even Kallias? And Helion?"

"When they're interrupting our date night? Hell yes."

Rhys and I reached the doors, and he used a bit of his power to push both doors open in a grand entrance. All the High Lords (and the rest of the Court of Dreams, who were standing in the back) turned to look at us in sync, their expressions ranging from surprise to displeasure when they saw me. In the background, I caught Cassian's eye and he gave me a feral grin.

"Well, if everyone's ready," said Rhys, ignoring the questioning looks on other people's faces. "Let's begin."

The other High Lords kept staring as Rhys and I moved towards the head of the dining table. I could see Berron getting ready to speak up, but Cassian managed to silence him with a threatening glare.

I knew the peace probably wouldn't last the whole evening, but we'd deal with that when it came. Tarquin, Kallias, and Helion had at least transitioned to giving me appreciative glances, so I knew they'd probably back up my decision.

If the High Lords wanted to get an idea of what the Night Court was actually like, then that's exactly what they were going to get. Pajamas and all.

#acotar #a court of thorns and roses #rhysand #rhysand x reader #rhys #acotar fanfiction #acotar imagine #acotar one shot #a court of thorns and roses fanfiction #rhys imagine #rhys one shot #rhys fanfiction #night court #rhysand imagine #rhysand fanfiction #velaris #cassian #high lord #high lady of the night court #The Night Court

[divinemare]

𝐋𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮

ACOTAR ONE SHOTS: Azriel

summary: inspired by lost on you by lp

warnings: none

✧. ┊   

The Inner Circle was conflicted. On one side, they knew they couldn’t sneak out of the House of Wind without him finding out, but for the other, that seemed like a much easier option than to tell Azriel the truth. Morrigan insisted she’d be the one to tell him the truth, maybe that way he wouldn’t take everything so harshly, Feyre wanted to go tell him as well, for Azriel wouldn’t loose it with his High Lady. Cassian argued it should be him and Rhys to go speak with him, since they were his brothers and they had been by his side when all had went down. Amren and Nesta were absolutely over it, Nesta just wanted to go at once, get a good drunk night. Elain…well, Elain had already fallen asleep in a couch with Nyx in her arms, the little winged baby drooled over his aunts arm.

“Rhys! We’re gonna miss it, can we please get over this and we all go tell to him,” Morrigan complained, stressed they would miss the show.

“Tell who what?” As if called upon, Azriel came down the stairs with furrowed eyebrows, surveying all his friends ones he reached the bottom. “You’re all dressed up, where are you going?”

They all looked at each other, before Mor took the advantage of word and took a step closer to him, her eyebrows knitted together in concern.

“Az we…uhm, we were just thinking how to tell you, don’t think we wouldn’t have done so, but…”

“But, she’s here,” Rhysand said when his cousin ran out of words.

Azriel’s face paled, tightening, they all saw his throat swallow harshly and took a deep breath in.

“She…she?” He asked, his voice trying hard not to shake.

“Yes, Az, she. She came to me a couple of days ago, asked me if she could come back, work at Rita’s again. I couldn’t say no, Az,” Rhysand had been feeling guilt all those couple of days, thinking he should have spoken with his brother first, but the female had done nothing wrong, she was still his friend, a member of his family, and seeing her again had made him really happy.

“No it’s…ok. She’s singing at Rita’s tonight, isn’t she?” That would explain why they were all dressed up, and why Nesta and Amren looked like they wanted to throw themselves over the stairs to get out as fast as possible.

“Yes,” the High Lord nodded.

“I’ll go,” without another word, before any of them could try to stop him, he disappeared into his shadows, and minutes later, came back in better leathers.

They would not try to stop him, so they could only pray the night wouldn’t turn out to be a mess while they winnowed and flight away to one of their favorite places in Velaris.

Azriel’s heart beat rapidly all the way, thinking that, after nearly a century, he would see her again. He thought about her constantly, he regretted everything constantly, he blamed himself constantly. It had been his fault, he had ruined everything, why had he even thought in coming? That she would forgive him?

𓆩♡𓆪

Celesta looked at everyone gathered around the stage from behind the curtains. There were so many people, drinking laughing and gambling. The place filled her with an underwhelming feeling of melancholy, security, too. It had been so long since she performed on a stage, for this many people, in this very place.

She was infinitely grateful to Rhysand for letting her come back, even after everything that had happened, Celesta wouldn’t had been surprised if he decided to take sides, even if it would hurt her deeply, after all, he had been her friend, close friends for centuries, but Azriel was his brother. Azriel, the Spymaster of Night Court. She would be lying if she said she hadn’t thought about him in all those 70 years, of course she had, a thousand songs were witness of that. Then again, after all those decades, she still couldn’t say she hated him. She could never hate him, that’s what hurt her the most.

She was happy, still, that she at least had her friends back, Rhysand had promised to go see her in her first performance with Cassian and Mor and Amren, he told her Morrigan had cried a river when he told her she was back, Cassian had started singing for hours “practicing to be the loudest fan in all her crowd”, he had said, and Amren, well, Amren had tried not to smile, but that he knew she was glad to have her back, too. He wanted to introduce her to the female that “had saved his life”, in the very literal sense. She had heard about Feyre Cursebreaker, of course, who hadn’t at this point? And she was more than excited to meet the female that had saved not only her world, but her family, too. And of course, meet the sister that had captured Cassian’s big heart. Lady Death is certainly an interesting title. But they weren’t there, and she was merely minutes away from getting out on stage, and she wondered if maybe, thinking about having her friends there in her first night had been too much, considering the fact that their situations weren’t the easiest or most comfortable, even if she knew they still loved her and she loved them too. There was too much history behind them.

“Are you ready, my dear?” Rita adverted her attention from the crowd and her thoughts out of the dark hole they were getting into.

She smiled tightly, she had come back here, to Velaris, knowing perfectly fine it was going to be difficult, but she did it nonetheless, so it was time to take a deep breath and claim her decisions.

“Yes, I think I am,” Rita smiled wildly, and hugged her with a happy sob.

When Rhys had come with her to ask Rita if she could take her back, the female had not giving it one thought before saying yes. “How could I ever say no to the most beautiful voice in all Prythian,” had been her exact words.

“Go out there, my dear, and remind all of them who’s the queen of melodies,” Celesta laughed at the nickname, and took a deep breath in.

“I will,” she smiled when they stoped holding each other.

Rita went out again to give her her last minutes alone before getting out on stage, she heard the instruments being prepared, and then, Rita’s voice announcing her. She closed her eyes, absorbed all those applauses and screams of yearning, and so she took a last deep breath, and opened her eyes with a wide grin on her lips to move the curtains and be spotted by blinding lights. Fae screamed and clapped, making her smile grow wider. Oh, how she had missed the feeling of being the center of the world, everyone jumping on their feet, holding on their seats to hear her sing.

“Well, well, it looks like you have missed me very much,” the public screamed in agreement, and she laughed charmingly. “I’ve missed you too! So why don’t we celebrate this reunion the way only we know how to party!” More and more screams filled her ears with pleasure.

The instruments then started playing, she knew every member of the band, they had played for centuries together, and it had taken only a few rehearsals to connect with each other again. She started moving at the rhythm of the music, absorbing every melody into her very veins, her entire body responded to the sounds with pleasure, almost trembling at the anticipation of the words coming out of her mouth. She closed her eyes, and let the music take everything else away.

“When you get older, plainer, saner,

Will you remember all the danger we came from?

Burning like embers, falling tender,

Long before the days of no surrender, years ago.

And will you know?”

She had wrote that song at least 6 decades ago, it had been of the one to hurt her the most, so she had buried it deep in a box full of other heartbreaking letters and never touched it again.

Until a week ago, when the song had called to her, burned in her tongue to be sang for the first time. So she complied, and there she was, putting every feeling she had felt buried out in the world.

“So smoke 'em if you got 'em

'Cause it's going down.

All I ever wanted was you.”

When she opened her eyes, she saw her friends in a corner, Cassian and Mor screamed harder than anyone else while dancing with drinks in their hands, and Rhysand smiled warmly and proudly at her with a female besides him that moved hypnotized by her voice. Amren was sat besides another female who looked very similar to the one besides Rhys, Cassian pulled her in his arms to start dancing with her, and they moved together. She smiled wildly, looking directly at them and winking before returning her attention to the rest of the public.

“I'll never get to heaven

'Cause I don't know how.

Let's raise a glass or two.”

She got her lungs ready for the explosion, closed her eyes and felt the burning in her chest of emotions and pain that amplified every word she sang out.

“To all the things I've lost on you, ooh-oh,

Tell me: Are they lost on you? Ooh-oh,

Just that you could cut me loose, ooh-oh

After everything I've lost on you,

Is that lost on you?”

She brought back all the feelings that had destroyed her 70 years ago, making sure to pierce every listening heart, and when she opened her eyes and saw all the pained, understanding, and emotive faces, she knew she was accomplishing just that.

“Ooh-oh, ooh

Is that lost on you?

Ooh-oh

Baby, is that lost on you?

Is that lost on you?”

She felt it then, a look so deep and dark it made her whole body feel like liquide. She looked around the place desperately, looking for whatever was making her like her very insides were about to explode but found nothing more than darkness. She swallowed hard, and focused those burning feelings in her every words.

“Wish that I could see the machinations

Understand the toil of expectations in your mind.

Hold me like you never lost your patience

Tell me that you love me more than hate me all the time,

And you're still mine.”

The feeling intensified, and she focused hardly in the darkness of every corner, she knew the feeling perfectly, she just wasn’t ready to admit, not until she truly saw it.

“So smoke 'em if you got 'em

'Cause it's going down.

All I ever wanted was you,”

As she sang those words, the shadows twisted in one corner near where her friends were dancing, crying and singing. Her heart sank in itself and she felt all the air in the room vanish when the shadows took the form of a male, a winged male. With hazel, troubled eyes and a harsh expression.

“Let's take a drink of heaven

This can turn around.

Let's raise a glass or two,”

She looked at him directly, her head raising just a little bit and her expression shifting with pain and harshness. Why had he come here tonight? Was he just trying to torture her? She moved through the stage, her every movements synchronized with her every feelings and heartbreaking words. And then her voice erupted, a beautiful, melodic sound of harsh melancholy.

“To all the things I've lost on you, ooh-oh,

Tell me: Are they lost on you? Ooh-oh.

Just that you could cut me loose, ooh-oh

After everything I've lost on you,

Is that lost on you?”

Her eyes never left those of the Shadowsinger while she sang with deep affliction. His face contracted, his jaw tightened, the rest of the world stoped its tracks, everything became dark, and all there was, was her, the piercing coldness of pain in her words, and him, the responsable for all of them.

“Ooh-oh, ooh,

Is that lost on you?

Ooh-oh.

Baby, is that lost on you?

Is that lost on you?”

He didn’t looked away from her, either, only came into more visibility, not hiding away in his shadows.

“Lost on you,

Lost on you

(Oh-oh, ooh-oh)”

The band sang behind as second voices. Her eyes watered, and she had to swallow the burning feeling in her throat as the melodies sounded in the background. When it was time for her to sing again, she let it all out, all those years of uncertainty, those 70 years of loneliness.

“Let's raise a glass or two,”

She saw Azriel swallow hard as she threw her head back and closed her eyes, taking in every bit of energy and power in her voice for the big final.

“To all the things I've lost on you, ooh-oh,

Tell me: Are they lost on you? Ooh-oh.

Just that you could cut me loose, ooh-oh,

After everything I've lost on you,

Is that lost on you?

Is that lost on you?”

For the last seconds, the band’s instruments were everything that sounded, while she let her body move free with their every note, her eyes still closed, until applauses and screams erupted from every corner of the establishment. Tears slipped from many faces, sobs combined with applauses and screams. She heard Mor and Cassian screaming at the top of their lungs “That’s our girl!”. She laughed with tears in her eyes, of happiness and uncertainty and melancholy. So much mixed feelings that it was hard to contain them all. She looked at Azriel one last time, and after a reverence with the crowd, she disappeared into the back of the stage, the curtains hiding her trembling and sobbing body.

“You were sensational,” the dark voice stoped her sobs, the applauses still sounding outside were silenced by his presence.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, her voice harsh, still giving him her back.

“It’s been a long time since I heard your voice. I had almost forgotten how it made me feel,” she felt him getting closer, her body tensed, straighten up until her back ached.

“Yeah? And how is that.”

He stayed quiet for some time, if it weren’t for his irregular breathing, she would’ve thought he was gone. But she knew better, his shadows caressed her as old lovers, the familiarity in them made her shiver.

“Like I could drown forever in your voice, like it’s my only source of energy, like it twists everything in me and pulls me towards you with the force of a thousand suns.”

She left a sob escape her again, she covered her face with her hands and turned around finally, facing him with burning and teary eyes.

“Stop it, Azriel, don’t you dare be this selfish.”

“Celesta…”

“I don’t want to hear it.”

“But I need to say it,” he got a little bit more closer, extending his hands to reach for her, but didn’t touch her. She knew perfectly he wouldn’t do it without her permission.

“Are you even aware of how you hurt me?” She questioned, pain slipping in her soft voice.

“With that song, now I fully do,” he closed his eyes and drew away his hands, closing them and opening them again, as if they burned and ached to touch her. “I’m so sorry, Celesta. Of all the mistakes i’ve made in my life, hurting you has to be the worst of them.”

Tears slipped down her cheeks even tho she tried to cleaned them up with her hands, his words ached her heart in a way she though it would never be possible again since that last time 70 years ago.

“Please, please let me touch you,” he begged, actually begged her to allowed him to come closer. His eyes shined with desperation, a kind of desperation she herself felt burning her whole body up.

“I am not a second option, Azriel. What? Did you finally realized you were after something impossible with Mor?” She loved, truly and deeply loved Morrigan, they had been friends since…well, it wasn’t an overestimation to say that since forever. But she would be lying if she said she never felt jealous of the love Azriel had for her.

“I should’ve known that the moment you stepped into my life.”

“Yes, you should’ve known,” she snapped angrily at him, his eyes fell from her face only for a second, and Celesta hated the fact she felt bad for it.

“I do know now,” his voice was a murmured, but even as the loud noice at the other side, she heard him perfectly.

“I’m not a second choice, Azriel, I can’t be your consolation price because Mor doesn’t want you. You were always, always my first choice. And I lost everything on you.”

Azriel wanted to say something else, wanted to get closer, he took a step, but when she took one back, he stoped dead, his eyes flared with hurt, but he did not said anything. He lowered his head and slowly nodded. She had taken a step away from him, he wouldn’t push it, not if he knew she wanted him far away, so he turned around, with his heart falling apart.

“You were amazing, as always, congratulations, this town needed your light back,” and so he disappeared, in shadows and sorrow.



#acotar #a court of thorns and roses #acotar oc #acomaf #acosf #acowar #rhysand #acotar fanfic #acotar fanfiction #azriel #acotar one shot #feyre #cassian #amren #nesta #mor acotar #azriel x oc #azriel x you #azriel fanfic #azriel acotar #azriel fic #azriel shadowsinger #nesta archeron #feyre archeron #nyx archeron #Spotify

[azriels-angels]

getting my hair done when it occurred to me . . .

imagine how badass it would’ve been if Amren was non-binary/asexual?

think about it, a creature who comes from a completely different world where gender simply does not exist. not to mention the fact that her personality isn’t mostly feminine nor more masculine. the plot of that is literally right fucking there.

and don’t tell me you weren’t surprised too when AMREN found romantic interest in someone. don’t get me wrong, i think Amren and Varien do make a handsome couple, though the storyline of her being aesexual would’ve matched so much better imo.

let not forget the way SJM describes Eris her boys’ style. imagine how immaculate and breathtaking Amren’s androgynous clothing would be.

“i will still kick you ass in these heals” business woman one day.

sexy yet lethal mafia boss the next day.

#amren #amrenofvelaris #amren acotar #amren x reader #acotar thoughts #acotar fancast #acotar #nonbinary #aesexual #acotar smut #acotar imagine #acotar fluff #acotar one shot

[kindredcandy]

Imagine Cassian teaching you (NSFW)

A/n: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS IS I literally woke up and was like "I need to write this rn" like I've literally never written smut before in my life? This was supposed to just be a headcanon but as you can see that kinda didn't happen. Yeah so anyway that was fun ! Also idk how posting nsfw content on Tumblr works so pls don't take this down or smth

Ps I'm still working on prompt requests and will post one very soon!

Warnings: 18+ content this is straight up pwop. Guided masturbation, sorta fwb, lots and lots of f bombs, slight degradation for a second, fingering, mutual pining, PRAISE, good girl-ing, implied virginity, innocence, first times, all that jazz. It's also complete filthy smut so there's that.

__________________________________

When Cassian found out you had never masturbated before and didn't know how, you expected him to be dramatic. He's Cassian for gods sake. What you hadn't expected, however, was for him to offer to teach you.

It wasn't sex. He wouldn't even touch you, just simply teach you how to pleasure yourself. A strictly teacher/student situation.

With the crush you had on Cassian and the confusing desire that consumed you at the thought of him, there was no question in your mind. Even if it made you impossibly nervous to accept and bare yourself to him in that way, you were eager for it.

So here you were, spread naked before him on your bed, cheeks flushed as he watched, fully clothed and seated at the foot. You were following his every instruction, diligent as any pupil could be, but with the way your heart was pounding and your pussy dripping, you could barely keep yourself together. You hadn't even touched yourself yet. Only skimming your fingers along your thighs, tracing them over your hips, stomach and breasts as Cassian told you to. It took you fighting every instinct to not just shove your hand straight to your center and satiate the desire that had you mad, but truthfully you didn't know how to even do that.

Your hips jerked, grazing over your mound with the lightest touch. You were panting, nearly about to beg Cassian to further along the lesson. His eyes were more black than hazel, his pupils blown wide and his hands tight in fists as he watched you with unnerving intensity. He hadn't touched you once. Not even a passing touch when he entered.

The burn of his gaze on your core was too much, too vulnerable, especially when he was as fully clothed and composed as he was. You tried to close your legs but was stopped by his immediate displeasure. A tongue click and a simply stated fact. "I can't help you if I can't see you."

You splayed your legs wide for Cassian and it took 500 years of training and self discipline to hold himself back from you. Your scent had changed the moment you let him into your room. Arousal had filled the air at the mere sight of him and he immediately second guessed his ability to hold himself back. But he'd be damned if he turned down an opportunity to watch you get off to the sound of his voice. To see the effect he had on you, not just smell it.

You whimpered. "Cassian, please,"

He felt his cock twitch against the confines of his pants. You had noticed the telling bulge earlier and said nothing of it. It was his siphon-capped hands that you lingered on, imagining they were the ones on you instead of your own. You couldn't fathom the way he could make you feel, if his words alone were having such an effect on you. You'd never been so consumed by your arousal. Shame had dissolved, any perception of self had disappeared and all that you needed right now was release. Preferably at the hands of the male in front of you.

"Good girl. You're doing such a good job." His voice was a growl and you couldn't help the moan that escaped at the praise. "Touch yourself now. Wherever you want."

You did, eventually finding a bundle of nerves that had you throwing your head back and whimpering. You tugged your bottom lip between your teeth, a poor attempt to keep yourself together. Your bare breasts were heaving with your panting as your eyes met Cassian's, burning directly into them as you pleasured yourself.

Something was building in you. Something that had your legs tightening and your hand speeding.

"Stop."

You immediately did, gasping for air and bitter at the male who had just interrupted your completion. Though you didn't say anything, not when his face and voice were as stern as they were.

"Good. I want you to come with your fingers inside you."

Your heart jumped at his words. The thought was intimidating, the idea of inserting anything sounded foreign and unpleasant. Cassian must've read the hesitation on your face because he added, "Trust me, Y/N, I'll make you feel good, okay?"

You nodded and slowly dipped a finger down to where your arousal was dripping out, running a finger along it in test. He nodded, eyes slipping from your hand to your face. Slowly, you began to push the tip of your finger inside you.

Cassian stopped you.

"If something doesn't feel good, you don't have to do it. Tell me what feels good."

You nodded, desperate to get back to what you were doing. He smirked and let you continue.

It took a few long seconds for one finger to feel comfortable, the feeling of your own walls tight and fluttering around you. Brow furrowed, you were careful to not move your hand in case it hurt or felt unpleasant.

"How is that?" He adjusted himself in his pants but made no show of his own arousal.

You were still out of breath, panting when you spoke. "Weird. New."

Cassian nodded and shifted closer. "Start moving and see how that feels."

You did, scrunching up your nose when at first it felt strange. Then, as you kept moving, your hand coming in and out, the discomfort and foreignness melted into a similar, but new feeling than you'd earned from the circles you'd rubbed on your clit. His gaze on you, the intensity, the encouragement had you going with new fervor, eager to please him. You could see the moment— after a minute of you pumping into yourself — that Cassian almost reached for you. You could see the moment he stopped himself.

You wanted him. His hands on you, your mouth on every inch of his skin. You would worship him if given the chance, and judging by the way he was watching you, you'd bet he'd do the same.

"Cass, please," You begged, all self control out the window. A muscle flecked in his jaw at the sound of his name as a moan on your lips, but he didn't move. "Please touch me, baby."

His chest rose and fell with hard breaths, nostrils flaring. His hand bunched into a tight fist beside his cock, though he didn't touch himself—didn't move.

"You're so fucking cock drunk aren't you?" He spits, eyes dark and half lidded with want. Cassian's wings flare and he looks every bit the fierce Illyrian commander you knew him to be. It's stark and exciting.

You stop your hand, ready to pull out and climb into his lap.

"No. Keep going. I'm not going to make you come so if you want it, you need to do it yourself."

"Cassian." You draw the word out into a whine. "Please, I'll do anything you want." You clench around your fingers at the thought of him inside you, of the taste of his cock on your tongue.

In a split second he's gone from sitting at the foot of your bed to grasping your face tightly in his hand. The scent of him is so much more intense close up, your eyes practically rolling back in your head at the strength of his arousal carrying across the few feet between you. Another physical sign of just how much he wanted you.

Your cheeks are smooshed in his tight grip when he growls an order at you. "Stop acting like a whore," he grits out, "And fuck yourself."

He doesn't release your face until you're thrusting into yourself again. It's more intense now, the way he was leaning close seemed to make everything feel like more. His hand lowers to your wrist, guiding you with a rhythm, but not actually fucking you. You were still doing all the work, only using his hand as a reference. The feeling of his skin against yours, so close to your cunt was almost enough to send you over the edge by itself. You added another finger with his instruction.

"Curl your fingers up." Cassian instructed, no longer guiding you, but not removing his hand from your wrist.

You did as he said, confusion pulling at your features. Nothing pleasurable happened for several long strokes. And then you bumped it. Your fingers brushed against that spot inside of you and you threw your head back, a loud moan involuntarily escaping. Cassian sits back with a smile.

"Fuck," You gasp, curling upwards and hitting that spot again. It was an effort to keep your whole body from seizing.

"That's a good girl. Such a good fucking girl." Cassian murmurs with pride, his hand now on top of his clothed dick. "I knew you could do it, you just needed some help, huh?"

You nodded, frantic for the release that was taunting you, impending at the edge of your efforts. Your other hand finds your clit and with the combined pleasure you're weak and incoherent, gasping and blubbering.

"You don't know how hard it is to keep myself from flipping you over and taking you right here." He confessed, palming himself to relieve the ache you knew was tormenting him. "You look so pretty like this. So pretty all spread out, breathless and begging for me, your gorgeous little cunt dripping onto your blankets."

Your back arches off your mattress, your mouth fallen open in a silent cry as you continue to thrust into yourself. Once more your fingers return home and the ache, the band of tension has snapped and you're cumming. Incoherent sounds riding out on your breath, lewd with the wet sounds of your cum. Your body is seizing, releasing and tightening in a whirl of the most pleasure you've felt. Your hand keeps moving for several long seconds after your orgasm has wracked your body, sapping every ounce of pleasure from the experience until you're too sensitive to continue.

You slip it out, two of your fingers still wet. With your mind cleared and the fog of your arousal gone, everything came back to you. You could hardly bring yourself to meet Cassian's eyes, but when you did, he was smiling with a feral sort of pride. You smile back hesitantly and close your legs, sitting up and trying to compose yourself. You twist your mouth, trying to think of something to say to break the silence. Cassian does it first.

"Good?"

You tuck your lips in and nod, unable to meet his eye. You were still so very naked and he was so clothed.

"Good. You did good, and now you know." Cassian said simply, clearing the awkward air with a friendly tone that may have made things even more awkward.

He rubs his hands on his pants and stands, making for the door. He doesn't get two steps before you stop him. "Cassian?" You ask in a small voice.

He turns, brows raised expectantly. You fold your arms across yourself and he doesn't glance down, looking only at your face.

"There's still a lot I don't know... About, like, sex and stuff." You hope he gets the implication behind it. It takes only one second, but you can see the moment his eyes darken again. The understanding that crosses his face. Cassian nods.

"I can teach you."

#acotar x reader #acotar #acotar fanfic #a court of thorns and roses fanfic #acotar one shot #acotar headcanon #acotar smut #cassian x you #cassian x reader #cassian acotar smut #Cassian x reader smut #smut headcanons #smut oneshot

[needed-as-a-grace-note]

Azriel x Reader - Drowning Part 1

Warnings: Anxiety, mental health, difficult thoughts

You struggled to remember the last few hours - at least it felt like hours. Your thoughts swirled in your brain, no matter how hard you tried to find clarity. The feeling of raindrops gliding down your face brought a small reprieve from the storm of thoughts in your head. The waves crashing and crashing and crashing against your body, splashing your face as you sat with your knees to your chest in the churning sea, ironically kept you from feeling like you were drowning. Your hands sifted through the cold sand as you stared, unblinking at the dark sky ahead of you. 

You couldn’t hear the waves rolling, crashing against you, the booms of thunder echoing along the coast. All you could hear were those thoughts. 

You had failed. Innocents had died. 

Rhys had been yelling when you began to hear the ringing in your ears. Feyre seemed torn, torn between assuring you he was overreacting and comforting her mate. Cassian and Azriel had barged in the room, hearing the chaos. Mor was yelling at Rhys for yelling at you. Cassian had reached Rhys’ side, and they were saying - something, but you had no idea. 

Your gaze shifted to your hands, covered, drenched, in blood. They shook almost as fiercely as the landslide you felt in your body, panic spreading. Rhys was looking at you, everyone was looking at you, and you couldn’t breathe - you couldn’t understand the look on his face, anger or concern? On everyone’s face. Azriel reached for your trembling hands - and you winnowed. 

It had been too much, what you were feeling and thinking. You felt like you were drowning, which is why you most likely wound up at the sea, sitting how you were now, your thoughts as violent as the storm and waves that seemed to be the only thing keeping you grounded.

Their faces - the children’s faces - covered in blood, crying, screaming, became the only thing you could see. Their screams became the only thing you could hear. It was just so loud and it wouldn’t stop even if you covered your ears- 

You laid back in the water, letting the waves crash over your head, hoping it would get rid of the sound - 

You were suddenly yanked out of the water by your armpits, the sounds of the real world flooding your ears one at a time. The roar of the waves, the boom of the thunder, the shouting- 

You blinked frantically, trying to focus, to see- Azriel. He was the one shouting, shaking you by your shoulders as he anchored you in the violent swells. 

“You’re getting wet, Azriel” you whispered, causing him to cease his shaking and pause to look at you. His grip tightened on your shoulders as he pulled you so tightly to him, and you were spinning, his strong grip the only thing keeping you grounded.

The chaos of sound in your ears stopped suddenly, Azriel’s heavy breathing the only thing you could hear as your head was pushed into his neck. He held you tightly, carrying you fully as he walked you both into the foyer of the river house, where Cassian was standing.

The two Illyrians spoke to one another, but their words made no sense to your ears, the sound muffled. More voices slowly began to join the mix, and the ringing began again. 

You struggled to process anything as your arms came up to Azriel’s shoulders. You gripped them, so painfully tight, as your world spun.

“No- I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry-” you began to cry, attempting to wrestle yourself out of Azriel’s arms. He gripped your trembling frame tighter as he dropped to his knees, settling you between his legs. His arms wrapped around your shoulders, pulling you against his chest as you continued to violently shake. You just wanted it to stop, the swirling, churning of the world around you.

Azriel rested his head atop of yours, his tears dripping onto your already soaking hair.

You wanted it to just stop- and with a touch of Rhysand’s hand to your shoulder, the darkness engulfed you, and it did. 

___

Azriel shifted your now limp body into his arms, holding you against him as he rose. His tears began to subside as you were no longer screaming, the sound tearing his heart in two. 

“By The Cauldron…” Feyre whispered, wiping the tears from her eyes as Rhysand returned to her side. He ran his hands through his hair, taking a deep breath.

“I’ve never seen her like that,” Mor spoke, gaze burning into Rhysand.

“I was yelling, because I was frustrated with her, but I didn’t expect her to…” Rhysand attempted to explain, his defiant gaze burning right back into his cousin in response.

“Rhys, you reacted how I would,” Cassian commented. “And Mor, I understand why you yelled at him. You were both justified.” He explained, attempting to defuse the tension. 

“Just stop.” Azriel’s voice was low, grating almost as he stared at his family. “This is not what she needs.”

“He’s right,” Feyre replied. “She’s never had an outcome like this on a mission, Rhys. You’re right to be upset, but, Gods… I wouldn’t even know how to react.”

Rhysand sighed. “You’re right, I… We can talk about this later. She should wake soon, and we have no idea what condition she will be in.”

“Just leave us be.” Azriel stated, unquestioning. “I will ask for you if I need you.”

The group all silently agreed as he strode past them to your shared room. You were Azriel’s mate, the bond being accepted only a few months previously.

Azriel had burst into the room when Rhysand began to yell at you, feeling cold panic fill his joints, slowly ebbing away as he saw you, covered in blood, shaking in the middle of the office.

He had felt your panic through the bond, had never felt any panic like that from you in his few months of your bond being accepted, and had never seen you shake in such a way. His eyes had focused on you, ignoring the yelling of Mor and Rhysand as he reached for your hand- and then you were gone. 

The whole room froze, staring at the spot you once were standing in, before chaos erupted from the group, haphazard plans being put together to find where the hel you had gone. 

#azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel shadowsinger #acotar one shot #inner circle x reader