#But I have a feeling that I need to recharge the mother root of the hyperfixation chain reaction

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

I remember seeing a little bit of an episode of Beauty and the Beast (the weird 80s show; not the Disney movie lol) and noticing the similarities to another thing I had just seen, not even an hour before (I was seven-ish), and went, “Wow that’s a weird coincidence… twice in one day?? What.”

Anyway… I started thinking about that movie because of an article I read… and then that made me think of that weird series again… so I looked up the episode list.

Hoooooly shit I was not aware of the sheer amount of whump in Beauty and the Beast

Everyone gird your loins; I’m about to enter critical hyperfixation levels

#[Dr. Smith voice] “I am being s u m m o n e d” [walks off into the sunset like a zombie] #uh oh #it’s the “hyperfixation chain reaction” at it again #It’s not done #oh god #o fuk #o lei o lai o lord #< and thanks to a Tumblr post about a certain alternate version of a certain character from a certain sci fi show #I now associate that song with [someone] who is very relevant to the whole reason I am interested in THIS series #so of course I would put that in the tags #I got Pavloved so hard; ring the bell and watch me beg (that came out unintentionally 😏ohohoHO but whatever) #But I have a feeling that I need to recharge the mother root of the hyperfixation chain reaction #Not the seed; the root #And the tree in the bog and the bog down in the valley-o #No literally… all my interests? They’re one big expansive root system #All part of the same tree #A chestnut tree #Aaaaaaand CUT #Currently vibrating like a jackhammer #aieou #OUIOUIOUIIIUIIIIOIIIOOGH

[fostydosty]

List of Cocoa Puffs headcanons you can pry from my cold sleeping hands

They are nature spirits, physiologically at least. Born from the whim of a primordial. Born as children rather than fully grown. Needing to eat. Presiding over a Very small domain (the Underworld and Nico’s mind)

Will helped Nico build 15 baby cribs that now fill the Hades cabin. The CPuffs have to sleep in the Hades cabin to recharge their chthonic energy (like a nymph whose been away from her tree for too long).

During the day, the CPuffs usually go to whats functionally a nature spirit daycare, headed by Juniper Underwood whose obsessed with the little guys. When being rocked to sleep, they typically get fed a mixture of nectar and Lethe water (from the Hypnos cabin) through a bottle, and use Styx water as like a spicy dipping sauce for meals.

They can shadow travel, and tag is a full on training exercise for Will and Nico. Will illuminates the shadows away before they can teleport, and Nico chases them through it.

All the CPuffs use neopronouns (Internalized Homophobia uses shi/hir specifically)

When they grow up, the CPuffs will have a variety of powers. Most of them are able to produce chthonic river water in the same way dryads produce nectar, each one having a connection to a specific river.

They grow up to look more or less like satyrs, but with whatever animal they were based off of rather than goats.

They’ll also get a number of different jobs as adults. Some will stay with the dryads at camp, bottling their chthonic water for demigods to use offensively. Some will work outside of the camp like satyrs, using their inherent detection of negative emotions to sniff out demigods of the Underworld (Hades, Hypnos, Hecate, Nemesis, etc) and bring them back to camp. Some will return to the Underworld to meet their mother.

They take on a more dignified name in adulthood, like the Chthonades (kuh-thon-ah-deez), and are encouraged to pick their own individual names as well. Most of them choose virtuous names seemingly antithetical to their emotional domain, using their powers to help people express that emotion in more healthy ways, and alleviate the pain of it. Internalized Homophobia names hirself Pride, for example.

Do to their biological similarity, Chthonades can copulate with other nature spirits. Their hybrids are typically Deep Dryads or something along those lines— like nymphs for the trees of Persephone’s garden, but growing in the shadowy parts of the forest around camp. They are still considered Chthonades, and take on various animalistic appearances, as well as resembling their trees.

When Nico dies, the Chthonades will feel greatly pained, but the roots they’ve planted in Camp Halfblood (both figuratively and literally) are able to sustain them in spite of his absence.

That’s all I love them and you should too

#pjo hoo toa tsats #tsats #tsats spoilers #pjo tsats #cocoa puffs #nico di angelo #will solace #solangelo #river styx #cocoa puffs tsats #tsats cocoa puffs #hades cabin

[uzumaki-rebellion]

"Black Boys Bloom Thorns First: Volume 4, Chapter 74 (Finale) Part 1

I had to split this into 2 posts. Go to Wattpad to read it easier!

Need to catch up on this epic? Masterlist HERE.

"Years I have known I am living in a war zone

Poison of my enemy blatantly attacking me

War goddess arouse your power

Know this is indeed your hour

Dying to be heard literally

Constant screams convincing me

War"

Caron Wheeler – "Beach of the War Goddess"

"Shh, Dumplin, don't wake him…Baba is tired. Sweet Pea…both of you go with Kora and let your father sleep longer."

N'Jadaka kept himself snug in the fetal position with the bed covers tucked under his chin. Yani fussed with Sydette and Riki as they rushed to the bed trying to get to him. It was a losing battle once Sydette patted his shoulder and cupped his chin.

"Baba, today is such a pretty day, we should all go outside to see the blue butterflies," Sydette said.

N'Jadaka opened one eye. Sydette peered down at him with her big dimples visible.

"See, Baba is wide awake," Sydette said.

"Come on, Baba…the butterflies…." Riki whined.

N'Jadaka groaned. Yani had worked his body out and he ached all over in a good way.

"The butterflies will still be migrating later this afternoon," Yani said.

"Baba…"

Sydette's big eyes would not take no for an answer.

"Give Baba one more hour," N'Jadaka groaned.

He shifted his head onto a large pillow and gave both children morning hugs as they clamored onto him. Their haste to lie next to him on either side squeezed Yani out of the way. She stood up and put her hands on her hips, a lavender cover-up hanging loosely around her curves.

"We can have breakfast in bed," Sydette suggested.

Yani glanced at N'Jadaka and he grinned.

"Alright, breakfast in bed with Mama and Baba," he said.

Sydette and Riki cheered.

"Are you sure you want to get up now?" Yani said.

"Yeah… yeah…once I start moving around I'll be okay," he said.

Yani tapped a camouflaged floating screen above her nightstand.

"Kora, we'll have breakfast with the children in my room. Please tell the kitchen to bring our meals on trays."

"Yes, Princess Yani," Kora answered on the screen.

Yani fluffed up the pillows in the middle of the bed for the children to sit between them better. Their home attendants brought up the hearty morning meal of hot honey chicken omelets, mango crepes, and cheesy grits. N'Jadaka listened to his children talk excitedly about the blue butterfly migration through the royal garden and shared new riddles from Baba Z and Umama. His eyes blurred a lot and he found himself turning his head to the side, pretending to check his kimoyos because the peace he felt being with his family under a single roof flooded him with memories of his home life as a child. It gave him normalcy. Comfort. Fleeting images of himself as a boy sneaking food from his mother's plate as his father did the same rooted him in the present.

"When is Joba coming back?" Riki asked.

"In a few days," Yani said.

"Why can't she just stay here with us when Umi Disa has to travel?" Sydette asked.

N'Jadaka touched Sydette's braided hair.

"Well, they have family overseas that don't get to see her that much. Umi Disa has to share her with other relatives," N'Jadaka said.

"They can just come here," Riki said, irritation coloring his voice.

"You miss your baby sister, Dumplin?" Yani asked, tickling Riki's shoulder.

He nodded, and then his eyes watered.

"Aw, baby boy, she'll be back home soon. I know it's been hard for you," Yani cooed.

She hugged Riki and he buried his face in her side. Yani glanced at N'Jadaka and they shared a look to allow their son to cry openly. It was something they agreed upon to keep Riki in touch with his feelings. He was attached to Joba in a way they were still understanding as a family and it had nothing to do with emotional distance but the actual physical contact between them. They thrived as siblings in proximity to each other, almost as if they needed to recharge with one another in order to function at their best. Shuri theorized it had to do with their empathetic abilities to read people, and they balanced each other out when it became too much to process. Yani even commented that keeping them close helped with Riki's outbursts of frustration, something N'Jadaka recognized in his own past as a neurodivergent child. Crying was taught to their children as a good thing, a purifying release that wasn't to be coddled away or shunned as an outlet for mental health. N'Jadaka let himself shed some tears with his child and Yani reached across the pillow to rub his shoulder.

"I miss her too, Lil Man," he said.

Riki nodded and sat back on his propped pillow and his chest heaved a few times until he calmed himself down. Holding his father's hand helped him, the kinetic contact soothing to the boy from someone with the same gifts of perception.

"Will we get to stay here with you from now on?" Sydette asked.

"Yes. All of us here together," N'Jadaka said.

"Finally," Sydette said. "I'm tired of moving from house to house."

"Me too," Yani said.

N'Jadaka leaned over and kissed Yani in front of the children, solidifying the final union. Soon enough, he crammed the last of the food in his mouth, belched, and checked messages on his kimoyo. Shuri was back in her lab collecting data from satellite warning systems and T'Challa left his suite to join his sister. There was an orange code warning attached to T'Challa's message. The Avengers were heading to Wakanda and he would handle it before pulling N'Jadaka into the mix. N'Jadaka's intuition told him that complications were on the horizon. He typed a message informing everyone in the upper ranks that he would spend the next two hours with his family before heading out to Shuri's lab. His scheduled day off would have to be forsaken for duty to the country.

The attendants returned to collect their trays and juice glasses. Kora arrived to collect the children to change into outdoor clothes.

"Go, go!" Yani said.

She waved her hands at the children and they tumbled out of the bed and ran out of the room to Kora. She locked the door behind them.

"I'll have to remember to lock the door early. I spoke with them about barging in here when we're still sleeping. They'll have to get used to knocking from now on."

"They'll learn. They aren't accustomed to us being together in the same bedroom. It's different from before. I don't mind it."

"But what if they catch us… you know…"

"I'll code some warning lights for them so we'll know they're on the loose."

"I'll just keep the door locked. Time to learn boundaries as a unit."

His gaze dusted over her cover-up.

"I like when you wear those," he said.

She twirled around to amuse him before joining his side on the bed again.

"I saw the expression on your face when you checked messages. What is it?"

He rubbed Yani's hip and pulled her on top of him. Sunlight dappled across her arm and he rubbed the warmth it brought to her skin.

"The Avengers… Cap's people with Tony Stark… they need our help. It's a big deal, but T'Challa and I have made contingency plans."

"Contingency plans?"

He took a deep inhale.

Yani caressed his cheek.

"I can handle it," she said.

Closing his eyes, he accepted fully that Yani would indeed navigate the trying times ahead with him.

"Can we talk about it after the butterflies?" he asked.

"Sure. C'mon…"

She pulled him from the bed and they sauntered out to her balcony shower. The wide glass enclosure steamed up fast and they stripped naked, walking inside the warm space hand in hand. He lathered up a fluffy synthetic loofah sponge and washed Yani's front and back. She did the same for him as he scrubbed down his privates and hers.

Rinsing off with the three-sixty jet sprays, sunlight illuminated the shower, and N'Jadaka held Yani close to his wet body. Lowering his head he kissed her and fondled her breasts. She broke away smacking her lips and placing a hand on the plane of his left pec.

"Don't start nothin', man," she giggled.

He fingered her folds, finding them slippery and plumped up.

Yani moved out the sower and padded over nude to an outdoor chaise lounge to retrieve their towels. Her breasts jiggled as she unfolded the cloth for him.

"Baby, stay like that…put the towel down and bend over a little bit…yeah, like that."

He touched his dick from the entrance of the steamy shower while watching her.

"Lean forward… yeah… right there," he moaned.

She wiggled just a bit and then spread her feet wider while holding onto the chaise lounger. Her ass cheeks parted and her vulva became more visible. She rocked her hips left and right so that her backside hypnotized him. Slowing down even more, she gave him a little show. His erection grew in his hand. Once his dick started spewing pre-cum, he walked over to her and rested the wide head on her rump.

"Keep moving like that…yeah…nice and slow…lemme slap this dick on that ass…"

His free hand squeezed her left butt cheek as he masturbated against her. Reaching around for a heavy breast, he fondled her chest and jerked off.

"I warned you about startin' somethin'. Your big mouth told them an hour. We were supposed to sleep in," Yani grumbled.

"This is just a quickie. You know I'm a basic dude that fumbles when it comes to all this parading around in front of me. You didn't have to jiggle this ass so hard to get some towels. You wanted to prance around and tease me."

"If you say so."

"Always your go-to answer."

He slapped her ass and the sound was a solid loud echo.

"First time I saw this big ass I wanted to do this," he grunted. "Walk for Daddy."

Yani did the slow sultry walk into the bedroom he loved. N'Jadaka followed and fisted himself, watching her ass bounce. She could walk around anywhere in their private life like that with him and he would follow as if she placed him in a seductive trance. Cake by the pound, mama was heavy, and N'Jadaka kept up with her swaying hips.

"Make those cheeks clap for me," he said.

Yani stopped at her vanity and jumped up and down lightly, not needing too much effort to get her ass cheeks bouncing before they started making the noise he loved. She wiggled and reached back to smack her cheeks for him to show how much heaviness she carried.

"Oohh Yani…fuck," he groaned in a high-pitched tone.

He jerked off and patted her folds with his dick, making his tip slick.

"Remember how I used to make you walk around the compound naked?" he asked.

"Yeah."

He slapped his dick harder on her ass. Pre-cum dripped down her skin. He twisted his fingers under the head of his dick and cupped her breast again. His balls ached to cum, but he wanted to make it last. Once they stepped out of her bedroom, the day would not be their own anymore.

"We should go back to St. Thomas for a family vacation. I can fuck you outside again like I used to. Bend you over in the laundry room…tight, young pussy all over my dick. Everybody used to watch your fine ass walk around with this big booty in those sweats…cheeks just fucking bouncing all day. You knew what it did to me watching you walk around. Fat titties…fat ass… and you just let me nut in your pussy…all in your tight pussy…oh fuck…spread that ass…lemme cum on that pussy baby…"

Yani twisted her hips in a slow erotic fashion knowing he needed that slowness to arouse him more. Leaning her elbows on the vanity, she glanced back at him, ratcheting up his visual pleasure as she pouted her lips. Her rump did a syncopated dance all their own, teasing him with their movement the way men back home would make gifs of her social media videos to nut off to. That shit worked on her man too, and his face scrunched up, his lips parted to spill out the groans of losing control. His occasional gasps as the pitch of his voice changed excited her, and Yani spread her folds for him to see the delicious pink he craved surrounded by the sparkling jewels of her piercings.

She tilted her hips, and he rested his tip near her opening and spurted creamy hot cum all over her folds.

"Spread them pussy lips wider… lemme see all that pink… there you go baby…nut all over that…"

He grunted as his dick pulsed in his hand, all hot and heavy, painting more streaks of white heat all over her ass.

"I made a mess for real Yani…fuck… look at all that cum."

He rubbed semen gently over her swollen folds.

"Still sore?" he asked.

"A little. But I have that new cream Ilana brought for me."

"Want me to rub it on you?"

"No, I'll do it myself because you'll want to put that dick back in and we don't have time," she huffed.

They kissed.

A pounding on the bedroom door separated them.

"Mama! Baba! Come on!" Riki shouted.

Yani rushed back to the shower to rinse off and N'Jadaka grabbed the clothes that Ilana and Zola left out for him.

Several diverse species of butterflies migrated through Wakanda, but the favorite was always the blue mountain butterfly that traversed the terrain of the Jabari down to the warmer valley of Birnin Zana during the roosting season.

Sydette and Riki squealed and chased the thousands of fluttering butterflies, their brilliant color flooding the sky with azure wings.

"Gentle, gentle…" Yani prodded.

Sydette turned her face towards them with two butterflies flapping their wings on her forehead. They all laughed and N'Jadaka took pictures with his kimoyo beads. A dense migratory wave swooped down through the royal garden and flew past them. Surrounded by sunlight and blue, the happy family basked in the beauty of nature.

The children ran down a path to follow the butterflies heading toward the sweet-smelling flowers that attracted and sustained them, and N'Jadaka clasped Yani's hand and walked with her slowly to admire their bloodline frolicking in the garden. They spoke of her work, their wedding plans, and his need to balance more quiet time for himself. The sun rose above the tallest trees in the garden and they slowed down to admire the garden pond near the edge of the south enclosure.

"I think I want to write a book," Yani said.

The brown of her eyes were bright with the light of the sun, their shine almost turning into honey amber jewels as she gazed up into his face seeming to yearn for his approval. She valued his input regarding her career even though she was the expert in the trajectory of her future goals. He adored how she squeezed his hand and waited for an answer. Her beauty had always moved him and in the midst of butterflies and warm solar rays, N'Jadaka fell in love with Yani all over again, a mature love that sweetened more each day.

"What will your book be about?" he said.

"I want to share how Wakanda brings babies into the world. I will call it 'The Wakandan Way of Birth'…or something like that. Disa liked the article I wrote for the Wakandan Daily News and I think the lessons I've learned here could benefit Western women more personally in book form. Pictures… testimonies… and my experience being trained away from Western medicine. I complete my obstetrics residency next year, and with my Wakandan midwife certification finished, I think I'm qualified enough to write what I know so far. I'll request to be transferred to a hospital closer to the palace if I can."

"That sounds pretty good to me, baby. You have a full pedigree now. Dr. Galiber-Udaku…queen of the nation and the author of a future bestseller. Doing big things like I knew you would."

She rested her head against his chest.

"I love you… so much," Yani whispered into his chest.

"I love you more."

Wrapping her arms around his waist, she nestled into his chest deeper and he rubbed circles into her upper back.

"Do you need me to provide you with more support? I'll have your personal office ready in the East Palace. When you're prepared to interview new staff for your palace office, let me know. Zinzi and Efetobo can help screen applicants."

"I want a cross-section of the nation to apply, not just people in the golden city."

"That can be arranged. Let me know the budget you need and I can approve any extra admin costs for international travel and your auxiliary programs outside of Wakanda," he said.

He tilted her chin to look into her eyes.

"We have to talk about the schedule changes Yani. I have to factor in our joint duties on the world stage, but I know this will cut into your hospital work. There are high expectations for the queen…and now that we've begun working with other nations…listen, I'm not saying you can't keep working at the hospital, but your hours will have to be adjusted. Your presence at the ball was legendary already, understand? You are my secret chess piece."

"I don't want to be a part-time doctor."

"You can't be a part-time queen either."

"Why not? You have Ramonda to help you."

"Ramonda is my hand across the sea. You are the face of the nation. I need your patient load to be cut down to at least twenty hours a week."

"Twenty?!"

"You're about to be a queen. Have you thought out what that means? If something ever happened to me, you'd have to run the country. You have to be in the throne room for as much time as you're in the hospital. The Council of Elders, the Wakandan parliament, and the nobles expect you seated next to me."

Yani mashed her lips together, a curse word surely being held back from him.

"I asked for a compromise, baby. That's what the twenty hours are for. You would have morning duties in the throne room, and then you could finish the rest of your time at the hospital and your East Palace office."

"Babies don't arrive on a set schedule."

"This is the life we have now. We are the king and queen of the world."

The hesitation in her eyes worried him.

"I can't ask for more than you can give, Yani. Queens before you accepted their assignment as mother of the nation without question. It's one of the most powerful positions any woman will ever have. The elders told me if you can't give up the time, then they'll have to reconsider your title as queen. I'm not ruling with a princess, girl. I'm not marrying another woman either to have a queen in the role that only fits you. Please give it a chance, baby. I want you to have both worlds in peace. Once they see you can balance it, they may lay off the pressure on me."

"You can make all the rules now—"

"I also have to meet the elders halfway… show them that I'm not just a half-cocked dictator. I compromise to make them trust my leadership. Zinzi and Efetobo support you one hundred percent, but even they have to abide by the ancient laws and traditions of what the queen represents. You're not just the wife of a king, or an adornment for me either. You are a leader. Your hand will shape politics, and if you want to make the changes you desire in the world, then you have to be in the room where those decisions are made."

She considered his words, a lightbulb going off in her head by the way she glanced at the plants in the distance.

"I want to be in the room to help get what I need for my work," she said.

"You have to look beyond work… beyond your career… even beyond motherhood at times. Just like me."

Yani folded her arms across her midsection and stepped away from him to think.

"Do you wish I never took the throne?" he asked.

"No. I guess I just thought my domain would be raising our children and my continued education in medicine. Maybe I ignored everything else because I didn't think it would be my responsibility too. I planned on being like Michelle Obama…minding my business, supporting you on critical matters, and looking good for pictures."

"A queen is a lot more than a first lady in this country."

"I can be the queen Wakanda needs… the queen that you need," she said.

"You proved it last night. We're a kickass team."

Yani reached for his hand and he kissed her palm. He walked with his arm around her, enjoying the peace and quiet.

Too much quiet.

They caught up to Sydette who picked a fresh bouquet near the frog pond.

"Where is Riki?" Yani asked.

Sydette glanced around and shrugged.

"He was here a minute ago. Maybe he went to the gazebo," Sydette said.

"Riki," N'Jadaka called out.

Yani tapped her kimoyo.

"He's over by the cathedral tress," Yani said.

The path to the ancient tall trees winded around the frog pound and past Joba's fairy garden. They found Riki stuffed inside the space created by the bending and twining of tree trunks made years before N'Jadaka's father had been born. Riki spoke in a whispery voice, trying his best to stay hidden inside the protective covering.

"Riki!" Yani scolded when they all saw that he was speaking to Joba's image.

N'Jadaka's youngest daughter sat in her bed dressed in pajamas. It was nearly three in the morning where she stayed.

"Why are you up, Sunshine?" Yani asked.

Joba giggled.

"Does Mommy know you're talking to Riki?" N'Jadaka asked.

"Mommy is asleep," Joba said.

N'Jadaka stared at her smile.

"You lost another tooth baby girl?" he asked.

The gap in her top front teeth made her adorable.

"I showed her my loose tooth, Baba," Riki said, opening his mouth to show off his bottom tooth.

"How is your Mommy, Sunshine?" Yani asked.

"Good."

"Can we have some privacy, please?" Riki insisted.

"Don't keep her up long, ten more minutes and then she has to get to sleep, Lil Man," N'Jadaka said.

Yani blew Joba a kiss and they left the younger children alone to watch Sydette gather more flowers for her bouquet. N'Jadaka slipped his hand into the back pocket of the skintight mauve yoga pants Yani squeezed into. As always, he couldn't keep his hands off of her without holding something to keep them connected. Gratitude swarmed in his chest. He dropped down low and encouraged Yani to climb onto his back. He carried her piggyback toward the palace entrance. Riki caught up to them. The beauty of their surroundings had them all feeling tranquil. A visit to the garden maze brought on a game of hide and seek before a quick trip to the peahen nursery to observe new hatchlings.

The family shared a light lunch with all the grandparents in the regular dining room before N'Jadaka took them back to their private residence to have naps. Their children went to their separate rooms and Yani took away one of Riki's kimoyo beads so he wouldn't contact Joba again in secret.

N'Jadaka climbed the stairs to his third-floor king's domain where an entire wing made up just his bedchamber alone. Ilana and Zola had fresh tea and snacks waiting for him with lavender incense burning in small brass holders shaped like panthers. They assisted Yani for a time before she joined him in his bedroom to nap wearing a sheer pink dressing gown. Cuddling on top of the covers, he rested his head on her breasts, while she stroked his locs.

Zola brought up a change of clothes for Yani to wear later, and Ilana tinted the windows and made sure N'Jadaka's warrior attire was situated for his trip to Shuri's lab later.

"This is the fucking life," he murmured into Yani's titties as he pulled aside the ties on her dressing gown to suck on her nipples.

"Just a big baby," she teased, helping to widen the top of her gown for easier titty access.

He plucked and sucked on her nipples and listened to her heavy breathing. When her eyes were glassy looking, he whispered in her ear.

"Did you put that cream on down there?" he said.

Yani nodded.

She squirmed next to him, watching him undress all the way.

"I'm sorry, baby. I can't help it. You're so fucking fine…"

He grunted into her ear. Yani circled her hands around his thick neck. Without him asking or begging, she widened her legs and he gripped his dick.

"Can't help it…"

He sank into her depths and shouted her name. It felt like molten caramel stickiness slathering his dick.

"You take it so deep…fuck… you got the best pussy, Yani. Best pussy I ever had in my life…listen to it take this big dick. Fuck!"

Yani laid up under him with passive pillow princess energy. Missionary was her favorite position with him. She loved to keep still with her legs wide so she could watch his dick going in and out of her pussy making all kinds of wet, squelching noises. Arousal for her came from N'Jadaka working himself into an obsessive sexual frenzy. He held her legs for her and she passively watched him pump her walls with deep short thrusts. Her pussy gripped him tight, her delicate hands resting on her thighs. After deep stroking her for a while, he stopped talking. Listening to his dick stretch her pussy, all he could muster was grunts and moans. A gripping pussy was always too much for him. All of his favorite lovers in the past that came close to that magical tight tunnel that shut down language couldn't compare to his queen.

Staring at the kittenish teasing in her glossy brown eyes broke him down physically and mentally. Thrusting deeper, he held still inside of her to indulge in the throbbing of his dick. Together they regarded their joining, her pussy stuffed full of heavy pipe. He was snug and she was stretched to capacity. He reached down to cup both breasts and she widened her thighs, allowing his balls to smack against her ass cheeks better once he resumed shallow thrusts extending the build-up ready to release intense pleasure. Dropping his head down further, he began panting, unable to hide the loss of control creeping up from the tension in his ass toward his massive shoulders held rigid.

"Ohhhh….Yani…baby, I wanna cum inside you…" he sputtered.

That thang was yankin' on his meat and his toes dug into the covers to anchor his thrusts. Yani reached up with both hands and cradled his face. Her lips pursed tight a few times as control slipped from her grasp. He wore down that pussy and her satisfied whimpers pleased him. However, the superior lovemaking that she provided turned him into a praying man in the middle of the act. His prayers were given to her in Wakandan love talk, the gushy sounds of her pussy accepting the reverence of his soft words raining down on her ears. Swiveling his hips to stroke at a different angle released a loud cry from her lusty lips. A heat spread behind his eyes and a pressure in his throat tightened his lips and he grimaced as the root of his dick sent pulses that squeezed at his balls. Her warmth, wetness, and lush body became an insatiable whirlpool he never wanted to escape from.

Lowering his head, he delved a greedy tongue into her mouth for deep wet kisses. Each stroke of his dick matched the neediness of his lips, and the fiery muscle wrestling control of her gasps for air flustered his resolve to last longer. Overwhelmed by too many sensations and moving parts pressing down on her, Yani jammed her cheek against his and listened to him curse his way through a massive orgasm. He lifted his body up just enough to watch his dick throb and pump her full of cum, his dick piercing rubbing up under her clit ring.

"Shit…ooh shit… I'm nuttin' in this pussy…I'm nuttin' all in this pussy, baby. Look at my dick…this nut feels too fucking good…ohhhhh….damn….damn…fuck you doin' to me, Yani?"

A desperate groan cut him off and he watched Yani react to his release. Her eyes started to roll back then slammed shut when her thighs shook.

"Cum on that dick," he pleaded.

He gently thumbed her clit, tugging on her piercing to guide her to heaven.

"Oh dassit…dassit girl…I feel that pussy all over my dick…"

He hunkered down on her and pushed Yani to her limit, letting his dick hit that bottom so her orgasm lasted and he could savor the throbbing from tip to root of his rigid dick.

She opened her eyes and they both gazed into the reflections of love binding them forever. His sweet, precious island girl… the one who loved him back to himself…his eyes blurred, but not before he witnessed a teardrop fall upon her cute round nose. Yani wept under him, her tears spilling along the sides of her lids. He ejaculated again and shouted with surprise at what he was able to spurt into her. Her pussy contracted around his length and he slumped over in defeat, blanking out mentally for about five seconds before gaining control of his senses again.

He lifted away from her, pulling out his dick. The dark brown of his fat erection dripped with the liberal shine of her sticky fluids. It hung heavy and sated between his thighs.

"You fucked the shit out of me," he gasped. "How is that possible when I did all the work?"

He folded like a bad poker hand onto her breasts, accepting the rubs on his head from her in silent wonder. When he was strong enough after a time, he lowered his head between her legs to kiss her folds and lick the jewels that adorned platinum pussy like hers. His thick lips gave loving kisses to her big thighs, her hips, and her belly button. It still wasn't enough to show her how she broke him down sexually. All he could do was keep kissing her vulva and clit, using the tip of his tongue to part her folds and trace the shape of hearts all over her pussy lips.

He fell asleep with his head resting on her thigh and his fingers playing with her nipples.

N'Jadaka loved hard and strong.

Yani listened to his deep breathing as he slept on her body.

He slow-fucked her to sleep, but she woke up before he did. Sometime during their nap, he had moved against her side, his right hand still gripping a titty for security. He snored softly and he only did that in a deeply relaxed state. Especially after he fucked her good and proper. To say he gave her the best dick in her life was an understatement. Her body was built for deep-dick men, and not every man had the pipe to get past her ass cheeks or tame her depths. Only N'Jadaka.

His open confession of her being the best pussy he ever had made her feel amazing. He fucked her like he was scared to lose her… like he was proving to her that no other man could handle her, and he was right. Cumming with him was magical, and crying together was divine. He possessed her completely.

N'Jadaka's kimoyo beads lit up in a cool neon green color. Shuri.

Yani lifted from his body giving him space to roll over and answer the call. She snuggled under the covers to hide her nudity. N'Jadaka slipped on loose house pants.

"Talk to me," he said.

Shuri's face carried stress. Her lips stuck out further than normal with worry.

"I think you should see this. At first, I thought the earlier images were captures of American space debris or maybe even solar rays interfering with our equipment…"

N'Jadaka's bedroom became filled with images of Earth from space. The images zeroed in on specks in the atmosphere above them.

"Satellites?" he asked.

"No."

The images were enlarged. Silver spheres floated above the continent of Africa.

"Maybe probes…a tracking system of some kind," Shuri said. "They've moved closer to earth in the last hour."

"I'm heading over there," he said.

"Rogers warned us of an assault. From space. This looks bad, N'Jadaka."

Shuri sent over new images. N'Jadaka enlarged them. Yani jerked up from the bed.

"Are those spaceships?" Yani said.

Shuri's image returned and the lines on her forehead increased.

"Those ships appeared right after the Avengers contacted us about their team coming here. As of now, these spacecraft are hiding themselves near the Kuiper Belt. They were not there twelve hours ago."

"They may be using the wormholes. How many?" N'Jadaka asked.

"I only counted seven, like an armada waiting off the coast," T'Challa answered.

T'Challa stood near Shuri with an equally grim expression.

"Standby," N'Jadaka said.

He shut off his kimoyos.

"There are aliens coming here?" Yani asked.

N'Jadaka reached for her hand, but Yani pulled on her napping gown and stepped off the rumpled bed.

"We will find out more. I want you and the children to visit Nakia. Stay with her until I contact you. Do not let on to anyone that you've seen this, okay?"

Questions flew through her mind, but she kept silent. N'Jadaka was in control and she rested in that knowledge, trusting him to protect them all from any and everything. Yani kissed his lips and hustled out of the king's bedchamber.

"Kora, have the children dressed and ready to go with me to see Lady Nakia," Yani said.

Kora moved with swift legs to the children's wing and Yani ran to her dressing room where Ilana and Zola helped supervise the organization of her shoe wall to make space for her new queen wardrobe that included royal isicholos and other accessories.

"I'm going to spend time with Lady Nakia and Prince Toussaint. Can you organize this without me today?" Yani asked.

Both women nodded, clearly aware that something bothered Yani. They helped her with a quick shower and provided her with a lovely draped wide-legged pantsuit in a rich eggplant color.

"Peplum blouse or a princess vest?" Ilana asked.

"The dark green peplum," Yani said.

A half hour later she was on her way with the children and all their Doras to see Nakia. Yani's years of keeping a neutral face around deadly killers proved invaluable to her. Nakia caught no hint of concern from her. Her eyes lit up in delight from the new gifts they brought for the baby and the children kept them all occupied with their need to hold Toussaint and fuss over him like a Christmas gift.

An impromptu tea party commenced and Yani did her part to look after all the royal heirs and Nakia. Two hours later, they all noticed the strange foreign aircraft being escorted past the palace.

N'Jadaka rang the alarm to have their foreign African guests escorted out of Wakanda. He assembled them all in the amphitheater seating of the War Hall after Shuri and T'Challa debriefed him with M'Baku listening.

The outsiders were warned of a national security breach. Not giving them a chance to question his intel, N'Jadaka left W'Kabi in charge of flying all their guests across their borders to various airports before shutting down their entire protective dome shield. No matter the global threat, the Avengers wanted to keep a low profile with the upcoming onslaught from the aliens they called The Black Order. Their leader, Thanos, rushed forward the intergalactic army, and N'Jadaka wanted the battle concentrated at one exact point south of the dome border. It was the best strategic location that would give Wakandans in the inner cities time to escape if there was a shield breach.

T'Challa and M'Baku met him at the Talon Port where a tracker beam held the Avengers aircraft in a holding pattern above the palace for its final security screening. The pilot, Sam Wilson followed instructions from the Wakandan Special Forces security team. T'Challa kept an open image of Steve Rogers and the other Avengers above his wrist. An entire regiment of Dora Milaje and the Onyx Squad surrounded them.

The Foreign aircraft floated down, its wings folding up to land near the king's entourage.

"Standby Shuri," N'Jadaka said.

A ramp lowered and Steve strode out to lead a ragtag group of exhausted Avengers. A white woman with chopped blonde hair matched Steve's pace.

"The Black Widow, Natasha," T'Challa whispered. "Dr. Bruce Banner…the Hulk—"

"Colonel James Rhodes," N'Jadaka said when he spotted Rhodey.

The former military officer blinked a few times when he recognized N'Jadaka. A pearly grin stretched his lips as he walked with Banner toward them.

"They call that one the Scarlett Witch…Wanda. That is Vision. You see?" T'Challa said.

"The mind stone they want us to remove," N'Jadaka said.

Steve reached out a hand to T'Challa and nodded at N'Jadaka.

"Seems like I'm always thanking you for something," Steve said.

Banner bowed to the king and attempted to get down on a knee. Rhodey looked aghast.

"We don't do that here," T'Challa said.

"But they should," N'Jadaka replied with a tinge of humor. "Let's go."

They followed N'Jadaka and T'Challa toward a half cruiser ready to whisk them away to Shuri's lab.

"How big of an assault are we looking at Rogers with this Black Order?" N'Jadaka asked.

"Massive," Banner said.

"How are we looking here?"

Natasha's nasally voice irritated N'Jadaka. He glanced back at her and T'Challa put some distance between her and him.

"You will have the Kingsguard, The Border Tribe, the Dora Milaje, and also Barnes," T'Challa said.

Bucky Barnes sauntered forward with the Kingsguard wearing a new Wakandan arm. He hugged Steve.

"How ya doin', Buck?" Steve asked.

"Not bad for the end of the world," Bucky said.

"Let's keep this reunion short. We have work to do," N'Jadaka ordered.

On the half cruiser, the Avengers sat wide-eyed staring at the world of Wakanda. Rhodey eased over to N'Jadaka.

"This is wild," Rhodey said. "I knew you were a different kind of cat back over in Gulmira, but I didn't think literally."

"Where's Stark?" N'Jadaka said.

Rhodey shrugged.

"So much has been going on full throttle. The Avengers are stretched thin. This is our last chance. If we can't shut them down here, it's over for us. Wherever Stark is, I'm sure he's working his ass off to find a solution to help us," Rhodey said.

"That's the least he could do. As much as he took from the world by helping to destroy it with greed, he owes some restitution."

"What about you? What do you owe the world with all the shit you've done after your time with Special Ops?"

"I owe nothing but a fist and the wisdom to know when to use it for my people, like now. I don't give a damn if these Avengers survive or not, as long as they hold the line for these aliens."

Rhodey's lips curled into a smirk.

"Yeah…they told me you were cold-blooded," Rhodey said.

Sam leaned forward in his seat from eavesdropping.

"Cold-blooded or not, we don't care about you either… as long as our alliance together saves everyone on earth."

The half cruiser swooped over a winding river that led toward Bashenga mountain. They flew over the Hall of Panthers, the new dome sparkling from the light of the golden Wakandan sun.

"All of this has been here for centuries?" Sam said.

"Longer than that," Rhodey quipped with awe in his voice.

"The motherland truly is the cradle of civilization," Sam said.

Sam's eyes appeared shiny as if he were about to weep at the lush futuristic scenery below him. Time wasn't wasted getting Vision to Shuri.

"Let's go! Move out of my way!" Shuri shouted at Natasha and Wanda who crowded Vision.

Shuri's medical team took Vision away and all the others followed with quick steps. She led them to a wide prepped medical bed near a giant window view of the gathering soldiers from Wakanda who lined up in strategic formation. N'Jadaka kept his arms folded near T'Challa.

"Stay back, please," Shuri told Wanda once more with irritation in her throat.

Banner was the only person Shuri kept close to the med bed. Conferring with Banner, Shuri ended her quick overview chat with a playful, "I'm sure you did your best."

N'Jadaka sensed her work would be slow-going and delicate. Shuri glanced at him.

"Give me as much time as you can," she said.

The confidence in her voice added a boost of hope to the others.

"I will give you the bare minimum," N'Jadaka said, "but if our line of defense is broken I need that stone destroyed immediately. I'm not risking all of my people and the diaspora for the feelings of one white woman and her robot boyfriend."

Shuri glanced over at Wanda. The so-called Scarlet Witch folded her arms and her thin lips became a pout.

"He's a sentient being with a right to life as any of us," Wanda spat out toward N'Jadaka.

He strode over to her.

"One life for billions is a fucked up trade-off," N'Jadaka said. "My children's lives are worth more, and I will end the life of anyone who risks theirs and others like them."

"I love him," Wanda said.

"And I love my children. You can cry all you want in front of all these people but this is my country and my cousin will do what I say. Her life is worth more too."

Shuri waved her hand over Vision's body and her kimoyo beads fed her the imaging she needed to process.

"I can do this, as long as I have time, cousin. He has about two trillion neurons…this will be delicate work. One misalignment and a cascade of circuit failure will end him."

Shuri looked at N'Jadaka and he shook his head.

"Time is not on your side."

The finality of his words forced a nod from Shuri. She jumped on her task and the other Avengers didn't look the king in the eye. They only gave anxious glances to Wanda and Vision.

"I have to meet with the Council of Elders and notify Wakandans for emergency preparedness. I'll catch up to you after I address the nation."

N'Jadaka turned to T'Challa.

"A quick word?" N'Jadaka said.

T'Challa followed him to a corner room.

"Do you want to see Nakia and Toussaint first? W'Kabi and Okoye can take the lead for now."

"I would like to do that, but as the Black Panther—"

"Man, fuck all that. You have a newborn. We are about to battle some unknown force. Ain't nothing promised to us."

T'Challa lowered his head and sighed. N'Jadaka gripped his shoulder.

"The world is on our shoulders. Let's go see our babies, Cuz."

T'Challa nodded.

"General Okoye, get the transport vehicles ready. We'll see you after my meeting," N'Jadaka said.

Okoye tapped her spear and led the Avengers away with the Dora Milaje. Wanda stood a proper distance from Vision as Shuri connected him to her computer interface.

The Council of Elders stood with N'Jadaka in the West Palace media room. He recited a prepared statement informing the public of an outside threat and that the nation was on high alert. Emergency responders were placed throughout key areas in the cities and Wakandans in more rural areas were transported to safer lodgings.

The royal family members were kept in the East Palace and N'Jadaka left T'Challa with Nakia and his son while he convened a final meeting with the council elders inside the throne room. He requested Yani by his side. She arrived dressed in a dark flowing dress with a cowrie shell head chain draped all around her scalp in the shape of the Northern Triangle, the oldest place in Wakanda. Her facial expression took on a serious countenance and she looked imposing walking up to her seat next to his throne chair. Ramonda sat on the other side of him with her hands folded on her lap. A bleak mood weighed down the air.

"What are our chances of defeating this Thanos?" M'Kathu asked.

"I was told he had a force made of aliens all across the galaxy. We won't know what we're truly up against until they arrive. They are honing in on Wakanda for the mind stone." N'Jadaka said.

"And you will kill the A.I. that houses it if Shuri fails?" Zinzi asked.

"Shuri will only fail if her time runs out. There are trillions of neuron links that make up Vision. She can save him, but half of all life in the universe will die if it doesn't happen before Thanos comes."

"You should destroy Vision now," Yani said.

The Council of Elders and Ramonda stared at her.

"Am I not allowed to speak freely here?" Yani asked, glancing about.

"Speak," N'Jadaka encouraged.

"Why wait? An army is coming here to wipe us out. When I was in St. Thomas and a man came to kill you and our child, I shot and killed him the moment I saw his eyes. One shot and we're alive because of that. I'm not a soldier, but even I had the good sense to act right then and there. We have something this alien wants and we should get rid of it. Him can't use his power without one lil stone…get rid of it before he comes here. He'll have to leave—"

"With all due respect, Princess Yani, we may still have to fight off an offensive attack. They may become enraged and decide to kill everyone on earth in anger or revenge for thwarting their plans. Either way, we are going to war," Bhira said.

Yani lowered her eyes to her lap and N'Jadaka reached over and squeezed her hand for support. He held pride in his chest that she asserted her viewpoint inside the throne room. The elders hearing she had killed a man without flinching had them glancing at her with new respect.

"The mind stone isn't the main one I'm worried about. He has another stone they say can reverse time. Even if we save Vision or destroy the mind stone, he can rewind everything back. We'll have to do a three-pronged attack. Destroy the mind stone, fight his army, and separate the time stone from him…besides killing him too."

N'Jadaka let the others take in his words and the gravity of their mission.

"As of now, the country is secure with defensive measures in place. We have the mountains and our underground caverns to relocate civilians if it all goes to shit," N'Jadaka said.

Zinzi stood up, glanced at the other elders, then faced N'Jadaka.

"Kumkani N'Jadaka, the Council of Elders wishes to ask that you remain in the palace during this time of foreign aggression. The Black Panther and Princess Shuri are using their talents to protect us on the battlefield, but we want the Golden Jaguar to protect the royal family and flee the territory if necessary to save the bloodline," Zinzi said.

Yani looked at him.

"Thank you for worrying about me and my family, but my talents are needed on the battlefield, too. A leader shouldn't sit back in the cut giving orders while others risk their lives—"

"You have nothing to prove to us. You are our warrior king and we want you here to lead evacuations and give our people hope of defeating this unknown terror," M'Kathu said.

N'Jadaka stepped down from the throne chair.

"I will lead the fight and return when needed," N'Jadaka said.

"As you wish, my king," M'Kathu said.

"We're done here. Everyone knows their orders. Return to the palace bunker," N'Jadaka said.

Efetobo rose from her seat and used her cane heavily to get to him.

"Wakanda Forever King N'Jadaka," Efetobo said.

Instead of making the symbol across her chest, she reached out and hugged N'Jadaka, her frail-looking arms carrying strength in them that filled his heart. When she released him, Ramonda did the same.

"You and T'Challa stay safe and give them hell!" Ramonda demanded.

"I will Auntie."

Zinzi pressed her forehead into his and prayed a few Wakandan scriptures of empowerment. Bhira and M'Kathu shook his hand afterward.

The Kingsguard escorted the elders and Ramonda out of the room. N'Jadaka reached for Yani and she took his hand, rising from her seat. He placed loving arms around her waist.

"I love how brave you appeared in front of them," he said.

He stroked her left eyebrow. Yani buried her face in his chest.

"I should feel more scared, but I'm not."

"Why not?"

She looked up at him.

"In a dream, Queen Mary said I was going to have more babies by you, and she can't be wrong. You can't die, not without me being pregnant. So…since there ain't no pickney in mi belly yet, you won't die."

He chuckled.

"My Mom told me the same thing after I ingested the heart-shaped herb again…about me having more babies. So if two ancestors told us that, then we're covered."

"Are you scared?"

"It's always tense before a battle."

"Not tense. Scared."

"My only fear is the potential amount of lives lost in Wakanda. Many died in the civil war I brought to them. Unfortunately, we're the only country that can even hold off a space army."

She glanced at her kimoyo.

"Riki and Sydette are here," she said, pulling him closer. Two Kingsguards opened the doors of the throne room and Nakia walked in with Toussaint wrapped against her chest. Sydette and Riki followed close by her.

"I came to wish you success," Nakia said.

The former War Dog had touches of pink in the whites of her eyes. She clung to Toussaint with protective hands that patted the bundle softly. N'Jadaka gave her a gentle hug and he stroked the silky smooth hair of the baby. He squatted down on one knee to be at eye level with his own children.

"Auntie Nakia and Mama will keep you all safe here, okay? I'm going to join Uncle T'Challa," he said.

"When will you be back?" Sydette asked.

Sweet Pea's large eyes haunted him. They had endured a dangerous separation before, but he needed to reassure her that he was coming back. He held her small hands in his big ones.

"I can't say for sure, but I will be close by."

"Can we watch you fight?" Riki asked.

"No, Lil Man, that wouldn't be a good idea. All the family will be here together and I'll have Noxolo and Aneka give you updates when I can."

Sydette threw her arms around him just as his kimoyos lit up with Disa's signature. He stood and tapped the beads. Disa and Joba's avatars floated in the middle for all of them to see.

"I'm glad I caught you," Disa said.

"I was going to contact you again," he said.

Disa had tremors in her voice. Joba studied him with calm assurance. His youngest could detect the even control of his tone.

"I want you and Joba to stay in New York until all of this is over. Nothing is happening yet, but I can't risk bringing you both back now."

"I get it, don't worry," Disa said.

Disa's eyes watered and she pushed her lips together.

"Disa… hey…don't worry about me."

"I'm afraid, Erik," Disa said.

N'Jadaka closed his eyes at the sound of his old name on her lips. Disa wiped her eyes and took a deep inhale to keep her voice steady.

"Adebiyi has been supportive and strong for us here, but I wish we could be with you and Yani…everyone. Dammit, I should've come home sooner."

"You were with family, Disa. Everything has been so uncertain and unpredictable. You have the best security team with you and I've already sent a half cruiser to stay offshore in case we need to evacuate you and your relatives. We'll keep you all informed of everything going on here," he said.

Joba hugged her mother and Adebiyi came into view.

"Watch over them for me, man," N'Jadaka said.

"Of course kumkani," Adebiyi said.

"Love you, baby girl," he said.

"I love you too, Baba," Joba said.

Disa held her hands under her chin trying to maintain her composure in front of Joba. Stress lines marred her face.

"Yani," Disa said.

Yani gave Disa a smile.

"Don't worry. We're all safe with N'Jadaka. Let's talk later when I get to the upper floors," Yani said.

The strength in Yani's voice helped Disa pull it together.

"It's hard not being there with all of you. Being far away magnifies everything. Just please be careful…all of you. As soon as it is safe to do so, bring us back," Disa said.

"We love you Umi Disa," Sydette said.

"I love you all, too. Be good for your Mama and don't run Grandpop ragged."

"We won't," Riki said with a mischievous grin.

"I can already tell that you're tricking me," Disa said.

Her mood lifted into higher spirits.

"We'll let you go. N'Jadaka…"

Disa couldn't get the words out. Her eyes told him she loved him instead.

"Love you back, Disa. Get some rest and keep the emergency lines open on all your kimoyos," he said.

Their images winked out.

"I'll take them up," Nakia said.

She let N'Jadaka hug Riki and Sydette, then led them away. Yani linked her arm in his, watching their children take solemn steps. His kimoyos lit up again with an emergency military signature. Okoye's avatar popped up.

"Kumkani, something has entered the atmosphere," Okoye said.

"On my way."

Yani hugged him tight.

"I have to go," he said.

He walked with her to the throne room's emergency departure Talon port. The Royal Talon Fighter floated down onto the secure platform and two Dora Milaje stepped out to escort him. Yani gripped his face and pulled his head down to her.

"Come back to me in one piece or else my old granny and your mother will come after you," she whispered.

Her sweet breath tickled his nose, her moist lips touching his lightly. He kissed her with tiny butterfly kisses before delving into her mouth with his tongue. She stroked his hair and he used the pads of his fingertips to touch her behind, holding back his desire to dig into the flesh more to stay with her.

"N'Jadaka, there are UAPs crashing into the dome shield," T'Challa said.

Yani broke away from him first and smoothed down the front of his shirt. She stepped back and he mentally commanded his Golden Jaguar suit to spread across his body.

"So handsome," Yani said. "Go on… king," she said.

He left her standing on the throne room port. The Talon Fighter darted across the sky and N'Jadaka scanned the puffy white clouds above.

The dome shield held up against the repeated slams of fireball explosives and more streaked down toward Wakanda all across the covering.

His first stop was checking in with the military strategists he hand-picked in a protected area behind the battle formation. General Sampha from the Border Tribe Army shook the king's hand and shared their battle plans on a floating table. The booming of projectiles striking the dome thundered above them.

"Kumkani, our dome shield is at one hundred percent. The weapons striking us are scanning the integrity of our protection, and the impact is growing stronger. How do you wish for us to proceed?" Sampha said.

Sampha's face carried a light sheen of sweat from the blazing sun and his eyes bulged a bit each time a projectile plummeted to earth and slammed into the dome as if he were annoyed by the audacity of aliens coming for Wakanda. Surliness in his voice gave N'Jadaka confidence that the Wakandans were about that smoke. Their military had trained for centuries for such an attack, even if it came from outer space.

N'Jadaka scanned their battle plans. Because these were not humans, the element of unknown factors had them at a disadvantage.

"The Dora Milaje are our most elite shock troops…close range warriors. We'll keep them at the front. I want more Jabari warriors fortifying the target area and a contingency in the capital near the palace."

The image of another drop ship landing outside the dome shook the ground with seismic force.

"Any sign of Thanos yet?" N'Jadaka asked.

"None," Banner answered.

"I don't like these small infantry formations here," N'Jadaka said, pointing to several gaps around the Avengers, "We're too exposed. I want skirmishers to harass and immobilize anything that may get through the wall."

General Sampha rubbed his chin while staring at the infantry.

"Fanning out into a long line makes it harder to flank us," Sampha said.

N'Jadaka pointed to a spot on the formation.

"It weakens the middle here. These fuckers traveled across galaxies that we never have. Ain't no telling what they have to break our lines."

N'Jadaka patted his shoulder.

"I'm not questioning your ability, Sampha. I'm thinking outside the box with the unknown."

The heads of the Navy and Airforce stood at attention awaiting more orders on their end.

N'Jadaka tapped a communicator on the war table.

"Rhodey… Wilson… I'll have the Wakandan airforce work with you inside and out of the barrier when attacks begin. Rhodey, I'm going to use you as an attack chopper, and Wilson, you'll help with the area of affect weaponry. You'll keep the explosives coming when necessary. General Lumumba and Lieutenant General Amilcar are patched into your communicators for commands."

"Roger that!" Both men answered simultaneously.

N'Jadaka worked on strategy and offensive measures with the leadership until the UAPs above them ceased falling. The suddenness unnerved them.

"I will go to T'Challa on the frontline."

"Wakanda Forever, kumkani!" the military heads barked out.

Two of his most menacing Doras waited for him inside the Royal Talon Fighter. They flew him to the battleground. He jumped down from Talon Fighter using its gravity tracker to slow him as he landed next to T'Challa on the battlefield.

"Ready?"

"Yes," T'Challa answered.

Rogers and the rest of the Avengers stood in a row staring up at the trees outside the shield that hid their enemy. M'Baku leaned toward N'Jadaka.

"We have already placed the Jabari warriors you asked to be stationed near Princess Shuri's lab for extra backup in case our line is broken. They have the vibranium shields you gave them activated," M'Baku said.

N'Jadaka shook his hand.

"We can't have them circling the dome. Keeping them here is the goal," N'Jadaka said.

N'Jadaka focused on the tree line outside of the dome again. The earth rumbled once more and giant triangular-shaped metal spheres rose up like hideous temples of doom.

"Bast protect us," T'Challa mumbled.

"Two of them are approaching the barrier," Okoye said.

N'Jadaka jerked his head toward T'Challa.

"Let's see how diplomacy works," N'Jadaka said.

T'Challa, Rogers, and Natasha followed him to the edge of the barrier. An alien three times N'Jadaka's size that looked like a badly rendered goblin waited with a female alien sporting horns and a dark persona. She had to be at least eight feet tall and slid a sword against the barrier. They were humanoid in nature and carried an erect stance of fearlessness. Their eyes locked and the killer in them both recognized the ferocity in the other. An unspoken understanding passed between them. It didn't matter that the creature before him came from a different galaxy across the universe. Game peeped game. Underneath the exterior, N'Jadaka sensed quiet respect. As a child of Ogum, he carried a fierce energy in his eyes. Before N'Jadaka could speak, Natasha glared at the aliens and taunted them.

"Where's your other friend?" she teased.

The female alien shifted her gaze from N'Jadaka to Natasha.

"You will pay for his life with yours."

The female alien turned back to N'Jadaka.

"Thanos will have that stone."

"Not on my watch as king," N'Jadaka said.

"What do they call you?"

"King N'Jadaka… son of Prince N'Jobu and Princess Califia. You?"

"Proxima Midnight. Prepare to be slaughtered."

"You are in Wakanda now," T'Challa interjected. "Thanos will have nothing but dust and blood."

Proxima smirked at the Black Panther.

"We…have blood to spare."

Proxima thrust her sword-holding arm into the air and the giant pyramid structures behind her rose higher from the ground.

"I guess it's on then," N'Jadaka said.

Proxima gave him a sardonic grin and he stomped back toward their line of defense. The tension of not knowing the terror they faced rippled along the soldiers behind N'Jadaka.

"As long as the barrier holds, we're good," N'Jadaka reassured everyone.

The ground shook, followed by clouds of dust outside the barrier announcing the start of the battle. T'Challa stepped forward and shouted "Yibambe!"

All the Wakandans repeated the words after him and N'Jadaka's chest swelled with emotion. He stood with his cousin to protect the world he had come to love. The land of his father. The dream of his mother.

"We defend this to the death!" N'Jadaka shouted. "Hold this line and don't let anything get through it!'

He strode to the front with arms outstretched showing off his claws and regarded the soldiers with blazing eyes.

"When Thanos comes, we must destroy the time stone so he can't reverse anything. Do you understand me?!" he shouted.

The others roared their understanding with weapons raised.

"Holy shit!"

Banner's voice broke through the shouting on their side. N'Jadaka studied the barrier and witnessed the ferocious creatures barreling toward war. Monstrous, six-limbed beasts with the shrieks of hell erupting from their throats.

Bast cooled his mind, and Ogum amped up his fighting spirit to the max.

The alien soldiers slammed their bodies into the barrier, killing themselves, but several were able to push through over the bodies of dead comrades who sacrificed themselves like fire ants crossing a river. Sam and Rhodey flew overhead to take care of the breach, dropping explosives that slowed a few enemies down.

"Shit, they're circling," Banner said.

"How do we stop that?" Rogers said.

The roar of Wakandan aircraft zoomed over the dome and took up battling the beasts outside of the barrier. Despite their exceptional attempts to corral the enemy in one spot, the swarm of alien fighters still overrode them by sheer numbers.

N'Jadaka glanced at T'Challa.

"We have to redirect their movement by making a kill zone," N'Jadaka said.

"I'll open the barrier and keep them at a distance," T'Challa said.

T'Challa touched his ear and spoke to Shuri.

"On my signal, open Northwest section seventeen," T'Challa commanded.

"Requesting confirmation on behalf of Princess Shuri…you said open the barrier?" A woman's voice asked, close enough for N'Jadaka to hear.

"Give him access and on his signal," N'Jadaka spoke into his own earbud.

M'Baku gave N'Jadaka a look of worry. Okoye threw back her shoulders in anticipation.

The barrier opened and the aliens poured in. Wilson flew out to engage behind the barrier with the Wakandan forces.

"Wakanda Forever!" N'Jadaka shouted.

He ran forward and the Talon Fighter's gravitational tracker beam snatched him up in the air.

"You two, go fight with the Black Panther," N'Jadaka ordered.

His Doras jumped down through the tracker beam and he took control of the Talon Fighter, sending down a torrent of firepower to kill monsters. Down below, his cousin took hits to build up kinetic energy and blasted creatures while the Avengers dug into the trenches of war.

He provided long-range support with Rhodey creating a large damage area around the point of impact that pushed back on the hordes bursting through despite their best efforts. Outside the dome, Wilson and the Wakandan Air support were effective in bypassing their line of sight beyond the trees. The outriders began to bunch up around the gap they opened. Their incredible speed became dangerous as they charged inside.

"Fuck! This is straight-up melee combat. Keep them from that defensive line at all costs!" N'Jadaka said.

Okoye's voice crackled in his ear.

"We can't mitigate the power of their charge, kumkani. We are expert close-range fighters but there are just too many of them."

"Second string is on the way, General," W'Kabi interjected.

N'Jadaka watched from the sky as new shock troops converged on the sides in full-body vibranium shields, battling through the trees, keeping the beasts at bay.

"Shuri, progress check," N'Jadaka said.

"Still slow-going. I have just cracked the outer core and can begin the real work," Shuri said with a strained tone of work under pressure.

The Avengers fought valiantly below him and he provided cover and long-range firepower. He fought the temptation to fly outside the barrier because the teeming hordes still overwhelmed the shock troops. Luckily, the first wave of enemy combatants were simple-minded creatures, full of snarling rage and not much else. There was no planned intelligence in their fighting strategy other than running over them.

"Keep them from the capital!" he shouted, flying after outriders who broke past the line.

Yani paced in front of Nakia.

Ilana and Zola scurried about organizing emergency clothing and assisted Nakia's nanny with Toussaint's extra diapers and blankets for travel. Noxolo sent word that the royal family was to be moved to the top floor of the East Palace where the structure could detach and fly off to safety elsewhere. Yani had hoped they wouldn't have to move from Nakia's suite because it told them all that the battle had grown worse than expected and N'Jadaka wanted them on standby evacuation.

Sydette held Toussaint while Nakia used a breast pump to extract milk for her son. Riki leaned against a wall window, watching for any signs of his father of T'Challa.

"I can smell smoke, Mama," Riki said.

Yani sniffed. The air filter pumped in outside air and the acrid stench of something metallic and burning wafted in.

"Shelter Griot, switch to indoor filtered air," Yani commanded.

"Yes, Princess Yani," a female-coded A.I. answered.

Within minutes, the burning smell disappeared.

"Yani, it's Queen Ramonda," Nakia said, holding up her wrist.

Ramonda's avatar shimmered in vivid colors.

"Baba Z and Umama are resting finally. I made them some tea with x'tin leaves added. They should sleep for the next few hours. They have asked that all of you come to the Jabari mountains at once. Dante and Marisol arrived with Tywla and Bibi," Ramonda said.

"I would like to stay here until we hear word from T'Challa and N'Jadaka's team," Nakia said.

"We want our grandchildren and great-grandchildren here with us. There is a half cruiser on standby."

Ramonda's terse tone left no room for arguing.

"Queen Ramonda, N'Jadaka has this shelter programmed to fly to St. Thomas," Yani said.

"Out of Wakanda?"

"Yes."

Ramonda gazed at Toussaint in Sydette's arms.

"I hate that the last few generations of Udaku children have witnessed nothing but war and family disruption."

"I understand Queen Mother, but we are together in this. What we are experiencing is an external threat…but one that unites us," Nakia said.

Yani's kimoyo lit up.

"I'll take this in another room," Yani said.

Sliding a bedroom door open, she dipped in and tapped her beads. Disa's image filled the room in life-size 3D seated in a chair.

"Hey," Disa said.

"We've moved to the emergency transport shelter in the palace."

"No word on how bad it is?"

Yani shook her head. Disa fretted.

"I keep praying and trying to stay positive. N'Jadaka and T'Challa's kimoyos let us know that they're alive, but that's it. I wasn't going to call but it's been hours now and the stress of not knowing anything is eating me up. All the media I can track in Wakanda here only plays emergency broadcasts commanding citizens to stay sheltered and on alert. No sirens have rung out in the city so that's a good sign, I guess," Disa said.

"So far."

"You look calm, though."

Yani sat on a bed.

"Do you believe in long gone relatives speaking to you?" Yani asked.

"Yes…like in my dreams. Sometimes my father comes to me. I wake up feeling like he's still here. Why?"

"I had a dream that my grandmother from way back…Queen Mary…came to me. She told me I had to stand tall with N'Jadaka… that I had to be fierce. Her say my future is important with him. It was real to mi. This war is only a test for us, so I'm not afraid of him dying in it. He won't. The worry I feel is for the people around him...and what we'll face as a nation when this is over."

"Hmmm, I wish my daddy would come to me in a dream like that!"

They shared soft laughter together.

"I can see that you believe what she said, so I will believe it too," Disa said.

"I'm glad you believe me. Some people get scared of spiritual stuff or think it's wish-fulfillment. I just have to be patient and pray that this war comes to an end soon."

"How is Nakia and the children?"

"Hanging in there. All the grandparents want us up in the Jabari mountains."

"Honestly, if I were there, that's the place I'd want to be."

Disa crossed her leg and grinned.

"What?" Yani asked.

"Adebiyi wants me to move to the mountains after we come back. Not moving in together, but me being closer to him."

"Do you want to?"

"I think the change in scenery is needed for me and Joba. I love the Golden City with all my heart, but being away has given me time to think about you and N'Jadaka. You two need space. I don't think Joba and I should be living up under your new household."

"But I don't want you to leave!"

The yelp in Yani's voice caught Disa by surprise.

"It's not a bad thing, Yani."

"We started this messy journey together and we'll finish it together. You're my big sister in so many ways, and this new life…you're a part of that. The Jabari mountains are so far, and our children need to be together," Yani said.

"The mountains are not that far with our transports. You'll have Joba every weekend…that's three days a week mind you, and I'm going to be in and out of the city for my company. I'll be there all the time."

"It won't be the same."

"You survived when you left the palace mad at me," Disa teased.

"That was different. I still missed you…I needed time away to grow up… to clear my head and realize how foolish I was being with you and myself."

"The change will be good for all of us, and who knows, it may not be permanent. I want to try it out and see where it takes me and Adebiyi."

"You're in love," Yani said.

The glow was all over Disa's face.

"I do love him… and he loves me."

Disa's eyes shined and Yani welled up for her.

"This life has been so crazy for me, Yani. I have no regrets about anything."

"Me neither."

"Really?"

"Not anymore. Seeing my great-great-grandmother…hearing her voice…seeing her…I know there are things that are beyond my comprehension, but I'm surrounded by loving people now. Like you."

"I'm glad you became my little sister. You, Marisol, and Twyla are as close to me as my best friends here in the States. Truth be told, the three of you have actually been closer because of your connection with N'Jadaka."

"We've both grown up a lot in two years."

"A long ass two years!'

Yani giggled.

"Allah will protect us all," Disa said.

Yani crinkled her nose with a thought.

"What are you thinking?" Disa asked.

"Wakanda has faced aggression four times in thirty years. I don't think they're built for civil and foreign fighting constantly. They've been a utopia for a long time and mentally, I don't know if it'll be easy for them to pick up the pieces without a national therapy session after all of this."

"They have N'Jadaka to show them the way back…and you. Remember, you spun a lost straw man back into gold. If you did that for our king, you'll have no problem doing it for the nation. I believe in you, little sister!"

Disa winked at her.

"I'll let you go. Joba and Adebiyi are going for a walk in Central Park with me. The weather is nice and I have to get out of this hotel for an hour at least. Fresh air will do me good."

"Have a nice time. I'll contact you as soon as I get any news from the front lines."

They blew kisses to one another and the call ended.

Yani wandered over to the bedroom window and tracked the placement of the sun. It would make the slow, downward trek into sunset within an hour. She turned to walk back into the living room when erratic booming noises shook the windows. Touching the nearest window, she sucked in a breath watching flames rise inside gargantuan plumes of black smoke racing to blot out the sky. The windows rattled again before a secondary protective vibranium barrier swarmed over the palace exterior, shielding them from the noise of seismic rumbles. Her heart lurched in her chest.

Yani noticed the wide darting movements of fighter drones flying through the pitch blackness blanketing the trees in the royal garden. The war had moved further inland and the drones were sent to reinforce the palace defense forces. If she could see it close from the east palace windows, the Wakandan defense line had been broken, and the enemy was near.

Racing into the living room, she joined Nakia who pulled the children closer to her on the couch. Riki jumped on her lap and Sydette handed Toussaint back to Nakia who tucked her breasts back into a nursing bra and covered the baby up. Ilana and Zola dashed into the room and waved for them to follow their lead.

Zola clasped Yani's hand and Sydette's while Ilana lifted Riki into her arms.

"We have to go into the flight room," Zola said. "Aneka is waiting for word from the king. Noxolo will detach us from the palace if he says it's time to leave."

"Are we losing?" Yani asked.

"I don't know, but we were ordered to stand by."

"Is Baba coming?" Sydette asked.

"I don't know, Sweet Pea."

Yani wore a brave face and pushed back on doubting Queen Mary.

The barrage of creatures lunging through the narrow opening of section seventeen overwhelmed the northwest defense. Even the once-missing Asgardian Thor couldn't help stop the influx of diverse creatures spilling through the narrow gauntlet into Wakanda. Several Avengers had left the interior of the barrier to destroy the spacecraft that brought the aliens in on the outside.

N'Jadaka settled his mentally tired body on the crest of a hill near Shuri's lab. T'Challa insisted that he fall back to give strategic support in their dwindling and scattered formation. He spent the last hour circling the forces with the Talon Fighter outside the breach, providing extra firepower for the secondary Border Tribe troops led by W'Kabi. Okoye's estranged husband proved to be a superior officer and ground fighter. The Border Tribe shields helped prevent the aliens from overtaking their offensive measures outside, but even then, a few enemies slipped through that N'Jadaka handled from the sky. He programmed the Talon Fighter to protect the lab from the air while he stomped on the ground searching for breakthroughs to kill.

"Shuri! Tell Wanda to end Vision now! They've got these giant fucking wheel machines tearing up the ground out here! They busted up under the barrier and we can't control the entry point anymore!" he shouted into his kimoyo.

"Fall back! Fall back!" T'Challa shouted in N'Jadaka's earbud.

N'Jadaka scanned the area below watching helplessly as the wheels razed the dark rich earth of Wakanda in the destruction. The enemy's power and weapons were too numerous to overcome. Giving Shuri time to save Vision had been a grave mistake. One that could cost his children's lives. The faces of Sydette, Riki, Joba, and baby Toussaint flashed across his mind.

"I'm going to keep trying, N'Jadaka, there's some progress," Shuri said, still hopeful.

"Time is up! I will come up there and rip it out of his skull myself!"

The horrendous crashing noises of the wheels forced N'Jadaka to charge toward Border Tribe soldiers positioned in front of him. If Thanos didn't come soon, there wouldn't be enough warriors to face him. Perhaps that was his plan overall.

"Get those wheels down!" he ordered, charging forward to help.

Wanda streaked overhead with bursts of crimson energy shooting out of her fingertips like lightning strikes. She lifted a linked row of earth-killing wheels and threw them on top of enemy combatants.

Ayo's voice broke through the chatter of N'Jadaka's earbud.

"We're being attacked inside the lab!" Ayo grunted.

"Shuri, get out of there!" T'Challa said.

N'Jadaka ran back up the hill toward the lab.

"Shuri, I'll be there soon!" N'Jadaka panted.

His suit provided him with a concentrated sip of electrolytes, refreshing his dehydrated muscles as he lunged forward.

"Shuri?!"

Panic lodged in his throat when his cousin didn't answer back right away. The crashing of glass and yelling drew his attention high above the trees that surrounded the lab. Two figures tumbled across the uneven sides of the building's roof. Vision held an alien by the throat.

"Vision is outside the lab!" he shouted.

"On my way!" Banner answered.

N'Jadaka's kimoyos showed him Shuri's vitals were fine. Her crumpled form and Ayo's were on the floor of the lab. He leaped up the side of the building and jumped through the gaping hole in the glass where Vision crashed through.

"Hey lil cuz," N'Jadaka said.

He lifted Shuri's head. She moaned and reached for her forehead where a bruised purple lump rose.

"Vision?" she asked.

"Fighting an alien."

"I wasn't done with him."

"Too late for that."

Ayo shook off the blow to her midsection. Her hands and face bled from cuts protecting Shuri. N'Jadaka reached for her and helped her up.

"Get Shuri to the palace shelter. Once you arrive, wait for my command to leave for St. Thomas. Got it?"

"Yes, kumkani," Ayo said.

"St. Thomas? N'Jadaka, no, I need to be here to help you and T'Challa."

Shuri plucked glass shards from her clothes and picked some embedded into her bleeding palm. He helped remove pieces from her hair.

"I promised Umama to get you out of here if it got bad," he said.

"Well, how bad is it? Is Thanos here?"

"No, but—"

A shiver went through N'Jadaka's body. Beyond a sensory overload, his entire form tensed involuntarily afterward, and his gaze ratcheted toward the busted lab window. Something new had arrived on Earth.

"Ayo, take her…go…go!"

Shuri gleaned from his tone and his eyes that things were about to go left. She hugged him tight.

"Watch out for my brother… no matter what…stay with him," Shuri murmured into his ear.

Ayo tugged on Shuri's arm. A quad stinger aircraft flew down to the shattered window and the Dora guided Shuri inside of it. They took off, and N'Jadaka watched it zip across the sky heading for the rest of the Udaku progeny. He tapped a kimoyo and the Royal Talon Fighter swooped past the building sideways. He leaped toward the tracker beam that delivered him inside of it.

N'Jadaka took over manual flying and jetted across the trees toward the biting sensation that quaked down in his bones. Eventually, the sensation fanned out to a low hum in his inner ear that grew in pressure. He hovered above Wanda who knelt beside Vision resting against a felled tree trunk. Banner jumped into view with his iron suit and N'Jadaka waited for something to materialize on his viewscreen.

T'Challa waved up to him.

"I'll back you up," N'Jadaka said.

"It's him!" Banner yelled.

A greenish-blue gas shimmered like an aurora borealis and a giant purple man stepped into their world. N'Jadaka assumed Thanos opened a powerful wormhole and expected more soldiers to spill out. Instead, the bald giant sauntered in alone.

Thanos hadn't taken two steps to start any shit yet and N'Jadka shot sonic vibranium blasters targeting the infinity gauntlet.

"Get that fucking glove off him!"

N'Jadaka's orders set everyone in motion. T'Challa clawed Thanos's neck to distract him as Banner grabbed for the gauntlet. Thanos flicked T'Challa away like a bothersome gnat and tossed Banner into a great stone mound that his iron suit went right through like it was Casper the friendly ghost.

Rogers and Bucky double-teamed next while Wanda threw crimson fire into Thanos's face. The Infinity Gauntlet gave him tremendous strength and they were clearly no match for him. Even his skin seemed impenetrable to any firepower.

"Wanda, destroy the stone!" T'Challa shouted.

Wanda stood frozen staring at her lover. She threw her left hand out forming a fiery red swirling barrier against Thanos. T'Challa scrambled to grab at the gauntlet with Rogers pulling on Thanos's other arm.

"Bitch, if you don't blast him!" N'Jadaka thundered at Wanda.

He lowered the Talon Fighter and aimed his sonic blasters at Vision's head, shooting off three rounds that hit the A.I. being with bull's eye precision in the center of his forehead. Vision's skull exploded and the glowing gold mind stone floated in the air.

"Destroy it!" T'Challa yelled.

The shock of N'Jadaka's killshot paralyzed Wanda. Instead of finishing the job as planned, she dropped to her knees and grappled with holding what was left of Vision. The king of Wakanda would've killed her too for being a useless soldier wasting time, however, she jumped to her feet and used her right hand to blast the stone with her powers while using her other hand to keep a shield up separating Thanos from it.

"T'Challa, we have to get the time stone away from him!"

His cousin was already in motion taking advantage of Wanda's glowing shield keeping Thanos at bay as she worked on the mind stone. Bucky jumped onto Thanos's neck using his legs to choke him. T'Challa yanked on the gauntlet with Rogers. Victory looked promising once Thor slammed his hammer into Thanos's chest. T'Challa grabbed for the time stone.

The mind stone lit up into a brilliant, growing blaze of gold power, shattering into bits that precipitated a blinding explosion with a mile-wide radius. The force of the explosion jostled the Talon Fighter.

Their combined efforts weren't enough.

N'Jadaka's heart dropped. Thanos snapped his fingers and a sickening feeling of déjà vu pressed the king's attention into a tiny pinprick. His hands waved over the control panels of the Talon Fighter, and down below he watched Wanda hold off Thanos with both hands. Vision rose to his knees and begged Wanda to kill him. N'Jadaka shook his head, the cool creeping dread of uncertainty washing over him. Hadn't he blasted Vision already to get Wanda on task? Why was he still alive?

T'Challa, Rogers, and Bucky jumped him, but Thanos flung them far away. Too far to get back to him quickly. Something in N'Jadaka's gut told him that was wrong, and he couldn't fathom the eerie sameness flooding his cortex that edged around the wrongness of the situation.

"Bitch, if you don't blast him!" N'Jadaka thundered to Wanda.

Wanda reacted like the situation was odd for her too, but she stared at Vision and began blasting the mind stone. N'Jadaka left the Talon Fighter on automatic pilot and pounced down from the ship's neon blue tracker beam aiming to land on the purple menace himself. He glanced over at Wanda and—

The fuck?

Another Thanos knocked Wanda aside and ripped the mind stone from Vision's forehead. N'Jadaka glanced back down at the ground that rushed toward him, and the second Thanos that looked up at him grinned, then faded away into nothingness, the illusion so real that N'Jadaka felt the shadow cross over his body as he landed with cat-like reflexes. He ran toward the real Thanos like the devil was on his heels. Thanos slipped the mind stone into its place on the gauntlet, even as Thor's hammer sliced through his chest.

"What did you do? What did you do?!" Thor shouted to Thanos.

White smoke puffed around the Infinity Gauntlet which had a burnt and tarnished look to it despite the gleam of the stones themselves.

A wormhole opened with the same greenish-blue smoke Thanos arrived in. It sucked him backward with a rush of air and he disappeared, like a kimoyo avatar winking out. Thor's hammer was no longer lodged in his chest and fell with a thud when the wormhole closed.

Sound left Wakanda.

The quiet drowned out the quick steps of T'Challa joining him.

"Where is he?" T'Challa said.

N'Jadaka shook his head in dismay, uncertain of the moment they were in.

"Is it over?" Okoye asked.

She darted out of the brush surrounding them and T'Challa patted her shoulder.

Wanda wept over Vision. Everyone else looked around bewildered and catching their breath.

"Where'd he go? Thor? Where'd he go?" Rogers asked, holding his busted side with blood pooling on his lip.

Thor only glanced around confused, in a daze like they all were. Okoye dropped down to her rump and gave a weary groan. N'Jadaka looked over the area, uneasy, and sensed the crackling of energy that made him feel off-kilter again.

Bucky stepped forward, staring at his left hand.

"Steve?" Bucky croaked before looking up at all of them.

His left hand became a dark gray blob of smoke that flaked away from his body like campfire ash with his legs following suit. He flopped down onto his face and disintegrated right before them.

"Shit!" N'Jadaka hissed.

They all jumped away like a contagion had been let loose, and clearly, it was because screams rippled across the battlefield. T'Challa reached for Okoye to get her off the ground.

"Up general, this is no place to die," T'Challa said.

Okoye reached for his arm and N'Jadaka's.

"Cuz," N'Jadaka said.

T'Challa's hand that held Okoye's arm turned into dark smoke too and flaked away slowly.

"N'Jadaka," T'Challa said, his eyes wide with fear.

"No…"

N'Jadaka tried to embrace T'Challa to hold him close, to never let him go, but he drifted away on ash and dry wind.

True fear gripped him then. This was how the world ended for half of the universe. A sad floating away in the deepest, quietest, black void. N'Jadaka tapped his kimoyo.

"Close section seventeen."

No one answered him.

"Barrier team, I said close section seventeen!"

A frightened voice answered.

"Kumkani…we are experiencing an anomaly…people are disappearing. I will close the barrier," a man said.

All around them, pieces of dark ash floated, choking the air with grief and shock. N'Jadaka grabbed Okoye's arm and the Talon Fighter pulled them up into its belly. The general took over flying manually and they both scanned the battlefield as bewildered soldiers gawked at people floating away in pieces.

"This cannot be…this cannot be…" Okoyo moaned.

Aliens that hadn't succumbed to the vanishing ran toward their spacecraft and flew away, leaving destruction in their wake.

"Kumkani, I'm ordering soldiers back to our barracks to regroup. Are you and the Black Panther alright?" W'Kabi asked.

"T'Challa is gone!" Okoye wept.

Her voice carried sadness and relief that W'Kabi was still on earth.

"W'Kabi, we'll meet you ten minutes at the regrouping coordinates. We need a muster roll immediately," N'Jadaka said.

His kimoyo lit up. Yani's signature. He exhaled and kept his composure. She was still with him. He tapped another bead to reach Disa.

"Yani, are you and the kids okay?"

The tone of his voice scared Yani. Her image hovered in the air.

"Some of the staff are gone…I don't know what happened to them…"

Sydette shrieked and N'Jadaka thought he would fall through the Talon Fighter.

"Mama! The guard turned into dust!" Sydette cried.

"N'Jadaka, what's happening?" Yani said.

"I can't say for sure yet but the fighting is over. Is Riki okay? Nakia and the baby?"

"We are all here. Is T'Challa with you?" Nakia asked. Her image appeared next to Yani's.

"I'm sorry Nakia…he disappeared in front of me and Okoye."

"No…"

Nakia covered her mouth. Toussaint was tied around her chest.

"We don't know what has happened to them all, Nakia," Okoye said.

"Is he dead?" Nakia said.

"I don't know," N'Jadaka said.

Shuri's signature lit up his kimoyo and he added her to their call. She looked distraught and teary-eyed.

"My mother told me that Baba Z and Marisol are gone. Most of their staff are gone too. Everyone else is still there in their household. Dante, Twyla, and Bibi are all safe," Shuri said.

"Everyone stay put. Okoye and I are going to meet with our military heads who survived this. I'll convene a meeting with the Council of Elders once I have more intel on what we're looking at nationwide. The outside is doing the same thing, so we can focus on us for now…"

Nakia broke down and Yani held her up.

"Yani, have Noxolo and Aneka take Nakia to the Jabari mountains to be with Auntie Ramonda and Umama. I may not be back tonight, so don't wait up for me with the children."

Yani closed her eyes and touched her lips before she spoke to him.

"N'Jadaka…have you checked on Disa and Joba?" Yani asked.

N'Jadaka glanced at his beads. Disa hadn't responded to his call.

"I'm trying to reach them now. Please, everyone, stay strong and together," N'Jadaka said.

He ended the call and frantically typed on his kimoyo.

He couldn't reach Disa or Joba.

Part 2 of Chapter 74 (Finale) HERE.

Apologies for having to break this up. Tumblr said it went over the limit!

#Black Boys Bloom Thorns First Volume 4 #Black Panther Fanfiction #killmonger fanfiction #wakanda forever #Namor #Youtube

[celticcrossanon]

Full Moon on Leo, 5th of February 2023 - Harry's Chart

Harry is another member of the royal family who has quite a few planets and points involved in tomorrow's Full Moon.

The Full Moon on the 5th of February this year is at 16.41 Leo. It falls in Harry's 7th house, the house of one on one relationships, marriage, and open enemies. Whatever happens with his Full Moon may have an affect on Harry's marriage or any other one-to-one relationship that he has.

Harry has no planets or points making a conjunction or an opposition with this Full Moon.

This Full Moon is tightly square Harry's MC/IC angle, which runs from 17.02 Scorpio (MC) to 17.02 Taurus (IC).

The MC is the point in your chart that shows how you are seen by the general public, i.e. other people who do not know you in any more than a casual way (so not friends and family). It is the beginning of the 10th house, the house of career and public status.

The IC is the point in the chart that shows what you need to feel safe and secure, how you like to retreat from the world to recharge. It is the start of the fourth house, the house of home, family, and where we come from (our roots).

To have the Full Moon square this angle says to me that something is going to come up or be illuminated or that Harry will have an internal revelation that will affect both his public image (the MC) and his private life (the IC). The aspect is a square, and squares are a tense aspect - they irritate and nag at you - so whatever happens is going to be a source of tension for Harry. The square aspect has an orb of less than one degree (16.41 to 17.02 is 0 degrees 21 minutes) so it is a super strong aspect. Harry is going to feel this Full Moon very strongly, however it plays out with his MC/IC angle.

Harry's natal Moon is at 21.20 Taurus, conjunct his IC from the 4th house. The fourth house is the natural house of Cancer, which is ruled by the Moon, so the Moon here is a strongly placed planet in Harry's chart - his emotions are dominant in his life (as we have seen). From the Full Moon at 16 Leo to Harry's natal Moon at 21 Taurus is normally too wide an orb (6 degrees) for me to consider the effect of the Full Moon on Harry's natal moon, but I am including his natal Moon here because it is conjunct his IC and the Full Moon is tightly square that angle.

The Full Moon is squaring Harry's natal Moon. Squares are tense aspects, so whatever happens is going to cause tension and irritation to Harry's Moon. The moon represents your emotions and it can represent your mother, so I expect some emotional upset from Harry because of this Full Moon square natal Moon aspect, possibly involving his mother in same way. The aspect itself will be fleeting - he will feel it for a day or two, nothing more - but how Harry deals with it and with anything that s brought into the light by the Full Moon may have long term consequences.

Harry's natal Saturn is at 12.51 Scorpio, conjunct his MC from the 9th house, and that Saturn is also being squared by this Full Moon. Saturn is the planet of hard work, authority, and doing your duty. It is the stern parent that makes sure we do our homework. Saturn rewards consistent efforts made over time, but the rewards are given in the future, not at the start of the venture.

The Full Moon square Harry's Saturn raises another set of issues that may come up to upset Harry. Firstly, on the MC/IC angle (which is also being squared as discussed above), the IC/4th House, ruled by the Moon, can be seen as the child and the MC/10th house, ruled by Saturn, can be seen as the adult. Part of our journey as adults is to use our IC as roots to grow towards our MC.

The Full Moon square natal Saturn indicates tension with the parent or with authority figures. Harry is going to have tension between his emotions or his desire to be nurtured like a little child (the Moon) and his duties and his responsibilities that are part of being an adult (Saturn). It could also be tensions with his literal parent, King Charles, or any other authority figure in his life. As an example, something might happen about Harry's role in the Coronation (a public event by an institution that supports Harry's public status as a royal), with King Charles or other authority figures denying Harry the indulgence he expects as the child of the King. This is just an example, it may not happen, but it is something that would fit the tension of the Full Moon squaring Harry's natal Saturn (and also his natal Moon).

Harry has his natal Moon conjunct his IC, the angle that starts the natural house of the Moon, and his natal Saturn conjunct his MC, the angle that starts the natural house of Saturn. This emphasises and strengthens the Moon-Saturn opposition that is part of the MC/IC angle, and the whole lot - angle and natal planets - is being squared by the upcoming Full Moon. I expect something to happen that upsets Harry emotionally (the Moon, it may also involve his mother in some way) and that also involves his duties and responsibilities as part of the Royal Family and whether he has fulfilled them or not (Saturn). This event, or another event (it may be more than one) will also impact his home life (the IC) and his public image (the MC), and it may also involve or concern issues about acting like a child instead of an adult (IC/Moon and MC/Saturn), and/or it may involve King Charles or another authority figure in some way (The MC/Saturn). Harry's own children may even be involved (The IC/4th house/house of family).

With the Full Moon in Harry's 7th house, I expect his marriage to be involved and/or affected in some way as well.

Normally I would say that these issues could play out internally as well as externally, but with the MC involved, the angle of your public status, whatever happens with these energies that is triggered by the Full Moon is more likely to play out publicly as well as or instead of playing out privately.

Harry has two more planets affected by this Full Moon. it trines his Mars at 16.57 Sagittarius and sextiles his Venus at 17.42 Libra. Both of these aspects have an orb of less than one degree, so they are very strong aspects and will be felt by Harry.

Trines are an soft aspect, so there will be an easy flow of energy between the Full Moon and Harry's Mars. Mars is the planet of willpower, desire, and wants, so I expect this trine to provide a surge of emotional energy to Harry's wants and desires. He won't be looking at them logically, but rather in an emotional way, and his response to having his desires fulfilled or thwarted will also be very emotional. Getting a No at this time could produce a very emotional temper tantrum and/or fit of the sulks.

Mars also has no patience, so Harry will have his emotions tied up in getting what he wants when he wants it, and any thwarting of this timing will also produce and emotional outcome. Any uncovering or illumination coming from this aspect will most likely have an emotional impact on Harry's desires, or show how his desires are driven by his emotions, or something like that.

Mars is Sagittarius is very much a take action Mars, a doer rather than a thinker, so Harry may be spurred on by his emotions to jump into action at this time without thinking things through (even more than he he usually does).

Harry's Mars is in his 11th House, the house of groups and of friends, so his friends or any groups he was part of (with Mars that could be the military) may be involved in anything that comes out under this Full Moon (if anything, it could all be internal as well).

Sextiles are also a soft aspect with an easy flow of energy, but they need a little nudge to get going, or they create an opportunity that you have to reach out and take. This Full Moon is sextiling Harry's Venus, the planet of love, relationships, and also money, self worth, and your inner values. This aspect combines the emotions and the mother (the moon) with the relationships/money/values of Venus.

For example, an opportunity may arise for Harry to make money from his relationship with his mother, or he may be vey emotional about having enough money, or about what he values (or thinks he values), or about his marriage, or an opportunity may arise for him to declare how much he loves Meghan - there are lots of possibilities here,

Harry's Venus is in his eighth house, the house of issues of life, death, sex, psychology, inheritance, other people's money, so we may see one of more of those issues coming up again with the Full Moon (again, this could all play out internally as well).

There are two recurring energies here for me. The first one is the MC/IC Saturn/Moon Adult/Child energy flow, and the second is the Venus/Mars relationships/desires/money/marriage energy. The first energy is the stronger one for me, but either or both of them may be involved in any illuminating Full Moon event or insight for Harry.

[veronika-tserber]

hiii i would like a 2nd house analysis my info is february 13 2001 11:56 am mobile alabama. thanks in advance and keep up the good work. <33

Hello there! Thank you for the kind words! ❤

Your Data:

2nd house in Cancer

The ruler in the 6th house

North Node in Cancer, 2H

South Node in Capricorn, 8H

Saturn in Taurus, 12H

Mars at 29 degrees opposite Saturn

Moon inconjunct Venus

Moon square Neptune

Moon square Lilith

Lots of Air and very little Earth in the chart

I use the Whole Signs system! :)

Also, if you don’t know what Sabian Symbols are, please check my post HERE. ❤

Your 2nd house in Cancer tells me that money is likely a solid instinctual need and a safety blanket for you. You might have an intuitive knowledge of how to make money or simply have a strong emotional need tied to your ability to earn stability and comfort in life. You can also feel recharged and energized by Lunar activities such as sleeping, eating good food, listening to music, being close to water, etc. Your physical health will be closely linked to how you take care of your emotional needs, as well as how much financial security you have in life.

The Moon in the 6th house is all about being of service to others in a practical, but nurturing way. You might have to learn how to master your day-to-day, work, commitment, health, wellness habits, and responsibility. Your emotions, eating habits, and self-worth are closely linked, for sure.

The Moon isn’t aspected all that much, but the few aspects it has speak of instability and lack of clarity. It seems like the Moon themes of nurturing, loving family environment, softness, vulnerability, and traditional feminine energy are kind of foreign to you. Your Moon is super Scorpionic - it’s even at the 8th, Scorpio degree. The Sabian Symbol for that is “The Silvery Moon Shining Across a Beautiful Gem of a Lake” which speaks of having a lot of projections. You might project a lot of your emotions onto others, and your view of the world can be distorted by your insecurities and fears.

Usually, Scorpio Moons have this dark lens of seeing the world as a dangerous place or even a battlefield where only the strong survive, and you always have to watch your back. Sometimes, the experience at home, and specifically with the mother can be the reason for that, but not always. The themes of this Moon in the 6th house can speak of you being paranoid or too suspicious/closed off at your workplace, which can be a hurdle to your ability to earn an income. Other meanings of this Symbol include hypnotism, charm, manipulation, and moodiness, as well as potent psychic abilities. This is definitely a very witchy/otherworldly Moon, so having a spiritual practice, and finding a healthy outlet for your deep impressions and emotions can be beneficial to your health, income, and ability to feel more “at home” in the world.

Your SN being in Capricorn tells me that you might come from a background of being highly independent and self-sufficient. This is supported by all of that strong Scorpio/Aries energy, and your Mars being so developed (it’s at the potent 29th degree!) It’s safe to say that in the past you had very little interest in settling down, having a family, leading a quiet, calm existence, or being a “housewife”.

In fact, with so little Earth in your chart (and the only Earthy planet is Saturn which presents challenges and requires time to mature), you might have trouble with commitment and grounding yourself in the present - perhaps you don’t want to plant roots or feel tied to any obligations. Saturn is also the ruler of your SN that points to your previous lives, and it’s in the 12th house of past life karma, so let’s take a deeper look into it!

Saturn is at the Pisces, 24th degree, and the Sabian Symbol is called “An Indian Warrior Riding Fiercely With Human Scalps Hanging at His Belt”. Now, look at that! 😅 The warrior energy is definitely confirmed. 100%. Some of the keywords for this symbol include: aggression, territoriality, striving for recognition and respect (that’s also a SN in Capricorn theme), domination, etc. You come in this lifetime with A LOT of masculine energy, and ready to fight for your rights and what you believe in! You absolutely must claim your Martian gifts, and use your leadership qualities, go-getter attitude, and fearlessness!

However, in this lifetime, you come to learn how to be softer, more vulnerable, and find a way to nurture YOURSELF, and others, and trust them enough to let them take care of you, too. This will be the key to resolving any self-worth or money issues that you have, as well as achieving greater emotional and physical health. Definitely provide service to others, and perhaps, since your Moon is so witchy, you could offer great support through your psychic or artistic abilities, and your authentic emotional expression! Get in touch with your emotions, for sure, and express them, so that you can understand them better. This will also help you avoid projecting them onto others and trying to fight non-existing battles and dangers or view more sensitive people as "weak" or "whiny". If you hold any judgments like this, just know that they are your personal projections.

Saturn In the 12th house + at a Pisces degree - there have definitely been many losses in your previous lives, perhaps even imprisonment, and death due to your combative nature. You might have lived in war times where survival skills and aggression were the only ways for you and your “clan” to survive.

Your Mars is at the last degree of Scorpio, and the Sabian Symbol is called: “An Indian Woman Pleading to The Chief for The Lives of Her Children”. Wow. Yes…Your Mars opposes your Saturn, and with the SN in the 8th house, I feel like you definitely had to go through a lot of crises, losses, and major battles for survival and domination in previous lives. This is why you have developed your masculine energy so much - you had to. Perhaps, quite literally, the lives of your children or people close to you were at stake.

And with Mars conjunct the cusp of your 7th house + Pluto in the 7th house - I am sure that close personal relationships are no picnic for you! The amount of suffering you might have experienced in the past can still echo through the voice in your head that tells you to be wary of getting betrayed or even to "strike first" to avoid being rejected or put in a vulnerable position. As always, the key to dealing with Saturn is time. You can observe the themes that come up during Saturn cycles and half-cycles - 7, 14, 21, 28, etc…The most important one will be your Saturn Return around 28-29, and it might have a lot to do with your emotional maturity, relationships, and how much you have healed from your past traumas and the role you had to play in order to survive.

Lilith in Aquarius in the 9th house in an exact square to the Moon + Mercury retrograde in Aquarius, at an Aquarius degree! Wow! Definitely a lot of rebellious energy. Lilith is your wild, untamed nature, and you have most likely been highly opinionated and blunt about your beliefs and what you stand for. Your views and beliefs most likely deviated from the norm, and you were shamed or even hunted down for it. This is now a great reason why you have such a suspicious and defensive outlook on life, and why you probably have a hard time letting people into your world and making yourself vulnerable.

Your Mercury being retrograde is your Soul's way of telling you to start re-evaluating some of your thought patterns and the way you express yourself, as well as how you think about the world and life, in general. You might need to learn how to hold back some of your fire, for the sake of sparing people’s emotions, but mostly, the theme is that of becoming introspective, so that you can fix the issues in your mindset, as opposed to trying to argue or fight others. Your Mercury is highly challenged, and it has a square to Saturn, as well, so definitely, there are karmic boundaries and limitations set in place, so that you can deeply revise your mindset, and cut down on any projections and false assumptions/beliefs you may hold.

All and all, I feel like understanding and expressing your emotions will greatly help you feel more grounded, peaceful, and stable in your life. If you are able to heal, and then communicate and teach your experience and wisdom to others, that will be great! After all, you have a 9th house stellium, Jupiter is in your 1H, and Mercury rules your chart! I’d also pay attention to the T-Square configuration. :)

I wish you the best of luck on your healing path! I’d be happy if you let me know how this resonated for you, and I wish you a great day/night! ♥

#astro notes #2nd house #astro observations #astrology notes #astrology houses #astroblr #natal chart houses #astrology #zodiac #astro community #zodiac signs #birth chart #natal chart #astroworld #horoscope

[scsunshine22]

The Simple Solar Witch discipline and how it found me

As a young witch, I must first choose my path of witchery and what I would like to accomplish in my practice. It is something that I have been putting off for many years now, dabbling in the various aspects of magic (or energy as I like to refer to it). I recently met a cornerstone where I needed to take the time to evaluate myself and what I want to become.

With a recent discovery that I have autism, I have been starting to learn all kinds of things about myself like who I truly am, why I feel the emotions I do, and how to identify when I am masking and stop when it is not necessary. Part of this journey has led me to look at my heritage and roots in witchcraft.

I am a third generation witch, my grandmother, aunt, and mother taking part in indulging in what the universe offers and being mindful of and respecting it. Although I was taught some basic principles growing up, I am still but a very young witch and I have quite a hefty load of learning ahead of me. Knowing this, I decided it was about time to define my discipline.

I like to think of myself as a plant quite frequently, in the sense that I inherently photosynthesize like one. Should it be a bright and sunny day, you will find me dancing and rejoicing and soaking in the great rays of energy that the center of our universe has to offer. If it is a stormy, rainy day, you can find me relaxing and recharging, soaking up the mental nutrition of mindfulness. However, might it be a cloudy day, you will find me drooping and sagging and wilting into a sad unproductive mess. Science likes to call this Seasonal Affective Disorder, I like to call it identifying with plants.

With this in mind, the core of my being, my special interest, and the roots of my state of existence, the first thing that I check when I wake up is whether the sun is greeting me or not. So I decided to become a solar witch. My energy is entirely dependent upon the sun, so it should be the thing I focus and depend on. I can't describe the mass abundance of vigorous energy a sunset or sunrise instills in me, but it is a clear indication that I should utilize the sun when preforming rituals requiring large sums of energy and magic.

So now I have a title, a solar witch, I must decide what kind of witchcraft I want to focus (aside from solar magic). I thought to myself, what things bring me the most joy and that I would greatly enjoy maintaining. Aha! Home and garden. Whether it be kitchen witchery, garden and herbs, cleaning and decorating, and keeping a house a home, that is something that brings great purpose and joy into my life.

Now, I realize that I have just defined a multitude of different disciplines: hedge witch, plant witch, kitchen witch, white witch, so on and so forth. With this in mind, I decided to create a discipline of my own, which I like to call a simple witch. A simple witch doesn't focus on just plants, but she certainly still tends to her plants with tender care. She doesn't follow rules and traditions such as a hedge witch, but her witchcraft doesn't only pertain to nature. She brews, bakes, and cooks every meal with love, but she also cleans and decorates with special intentions too.

To summarize it, a simple witch is a witch that uses a little bit of magic a lot of the time. A jack of all trades, but a master of none. She doesn't ask for much, she doesn't seek grand power and strength. Instead, she is just simple. She goes about her daily tasks putting love and care into them, manifesting good intentions and building a whole and content heart that she can share with those around her. All the while, she basks in the afternoon sun, grass as a soft bed, after a long days labor of love to recharge and thank the universe for its strength that its shared with her.

I am a simple solar witch. This is the start of my journey.

#witchcraft #witch aesthetic #witchlife #witches #magick #witchy vibes #solarpunk #witch #spells #sunshine #sunrise #sunset #solar

[athirdtarotreader]

Pick A Stack! Who’s Crushing On You? - November 2021

Which card will you select? 1, 2, or 3?

Scroll down to get your reading!

STACK 1

How interesting that the Scorpio card is pulled for a reading in Scorpio season! This could be a good indicator of the personality traits you’ll notice or be attracted to with the person crushing on you. They’ll have an intensity about them that’s irresistible, and an air of mystery that’ll keep you intrigued.

There is shadow work that needs to be done. Someone is putting off confronting the darker elements of themselves that need to be worked through. Greet the Darkness encourages seeing the darkness inside the self and acknowledge it by working through it. If this does not resonate for you, it could be a strong indication that’s it’s the person crushing on you that needs to do shadow work on themselves.

The shadow work may stem from old wounds made from the past, specifically through family. Ancestors is a card of roots and family. Between this card and Greet the Darkness, it is highly advised to take time to heal. If we don’t confront the shadowed ghosts of our past that haunts us, we carry that pain indefinitely. Tending a metaphorical wound is a necessary step toward self love and, in this case, the possibility of a successful romantic connection between you and the person crushing on you.

Rider Waite Cards: There is a need to be vigilant regarding the person crushing on you. There is mutual intrigue and a strong intellectual connection but there is a lot of discourse as well. This is possibly stemming from the shadow work that needs to be done. We can’t love someone else properly if we don’t love ourselves. The King of Swords could indicate this person is an older, ambitious person with a strong masculine energy.

STACK 2

Venus, the goddess of love. The person crushing on you could be a Libra. I sense that you could have met them last month too. This person has a lot of compassion and an appreciation for beauty. However with The Underworld card it suggests that there must be change. It’s similar to The Tower card in tarot in that it symbolizes transition.

Earth Mother card advises a psychic recharge or a spiritual grounding. I don’t sense a resistance to the change that needs to occur, but there may be a feeling of overwhelming that you or the person crushing on you feels. Remember to take time for the self. Spending time in nature, whether that be through gardening, hiking, or sitting in quiet stillness, may be in order to allow fir the self to recharge.

Rider Waite Cards: So, that sense of overwhelming suggested by Earth Mother may have a source in your crush. You’re their dream, their desire. The thing is, they don’t quite know how to approach you in a way that isn’t confrontational. They may resort to over exaggerating or “putting on a show” to get your attention. But the Venus card reminds us to be compassionate toward them. They are a sensitive person, and although their presence may cause some turmoil, it’s not being done with ill intentions.

STACK 3

Aquarius is the king of eccentrics. The person crushing on you may have a slightly left of center way of thinking or doing things. They’re highly creative in life but can be a bit disconnected emotionally.

The Rebirth card is one of new beginnings. However, it’s reversed. There appears to be a resistance. This may be you or your crush resisting something new in their life. Someone must let old ways die to bring in the new way. I sense this coming from the person crushing on you, however this could also apply to you if it resonates.

The watery flow of Ocean’s Muse! This card suggests a need to look deeper, beyond the surface values and into the unknown depths. There’s more than meets the eye with the person crushing you.

Rider Waite Cards: Rebirth is truly confirmed here. Either you or the person crushing on you will be caught off guard (I sense that it is the crushing person). They feel challenged by their feelings for you. They like you a lot, but they are holding onto old ideas that need to be released, and that’s what is keeping them from connecting in a deeper way with you. 

#tarot reading #pick a card #who's crushing on you

[kroerms]

Lifeline

Oneshot || pairing: kenma x reader (gender neutral, but I tried to stay clear of any pronouns)|| genre: angstisch, hurt/comfort ||

warnings: depiction of depression/ symptoms of a depression || if I forgot to mention something, please feel free to tell me...

a/n: sooo, this is my very first fanfic since like 2013, please be gentle with me haha

y/n: “I’m sorry, but I can’t make it to our date today…”

Kenma: “What do you mean you can’t make it? We planned this for over a week and are supposed to meet up in an hour...I’m already out of my house…”

y/n: “I’m really sorry, I just can’t.”

You sighed, tossed your phone next to you on the bed and pressed the pillow closer to your chest.

You couldn’t really pinpoint what triggered all these negative feelings. But your whole life there have always been these days where you felt completely drained of energy and the negativity of your own mind played tricks on you. You had always called it your “social battery” being empty. But in reality, it was more than just that. It was more than just not wanting to see your friends or family. It was a consuming tiredness paired with negative thoughts and sadness rooted deep within your very heart. Days like these would come and go, you learned that over the years, which is why you preferred to be alone on those days because you didn’t want to burden anyone with your pointless feelings. Sure, sometimes those feelings would almost consume you completely and would persist for weeks, but you always managed to handle them one way or another. You knew this all too well, you had had to deal with this part of yourself since your early teens after all and now that you were 28 it just didn’t seem like you were ever to grow out of it like your parents used to say you would. It wasn’t their fault though, since you never really talked about what it felt like to anyone after your so called friends seemed to dismiss it as just you being lazy and so your parents thought your tendency to hang in your room and lay in bed all day was just due to hormones. And you always felt like no one would believe you anyways and you weren’t prepared for all the follow up questions that would drain the last bit of energy you had, and so you stopped explaining yourself altogether.

You’ve known Kenma for a while now. The two of you started to form a friendship after you accidentally took his coffee order from the barista because he had ordered your usual. And with your head always being in the clouds you had just heard “vanilla latte” and without waiting for your name to follow the order you’d taken the beverage.

“Uhm, excuse me but I think this is supposed to be mine - well unless your name is Kenma as well, but I highly doubt that”, a monotone voice next to you spoke. Your gaze shifted from the to-go-cup in your hand to the man beside you. The faux blonde with the dark roots and the almost bored facial expression stood next to the take-out section of the coffeeshop, switch in one hand and the other in the pocket of his red tracksuit.

“Oh, I’m very sorry, I must have zoned out again. I sometimes get stressed in overly crowded places and tend to lose myself in my thoughts to calm down aaaand I just overshared, didn’t I?” You bowed slightly and handed the man in front of you his drink just as the barista called out your name with a “vanilla latte” attached to it. You quickly turned around to take the coffee so that Kenma wouldn’t notice the slight blush that spread over your cheeks from the embarrassment.

“y/n’s a pretty name, suits you.”, Kenma said, flashing a slight blush of his own as the words left his lips. “Well thank you...Kenma was it?”. The faux blonde nodded slightly. An awkward silence infolded the two of you. Just as you wanted to excuse yourself so that you could finally leave this utterly embarrassing situation, Kenma spoke up again: “well if you want to make it up to me for almost stealing my drink, I’d really appreciate a piece of apple pie from the bakery down the road. If that’s not too crowded for you.”

After that encounter, the two of you quickly grew closer and developed a bond to one another. Just like you, Kenma enjoyed lazy days at home gaming or watching movies together more than going out on adventures. So the two of you would often hang out at his house playing Mario Kart together or you’d watch movies on your projektor at yours. Sure, occasionally the two of you would go out to get something to eat or to watch his friends at a volleyball game, but these outings were rare. And it was because of those cozy little hangouts that you never once had to cancel plans with him, thus not once did you have to explain to him why you didn’t have the energy to go out and do stuff….well at least until today.

The familiar wave of guilt washed over you for not telling him why you had to cancel on such short notice. But you really didn’t have the energy to explain that your inner demons had taken control over your body and mind today. You were already feeling exhausted because work had been hell the last couple of weeks and it didn’t help that seemingly everyone in your family needed something from you which resulted in you spending your off-time after work either at your fathers house or your mothers. This left little to no you-time to relax and recharge yourself.

It was now near lunchtime on your well deserved day off and Kenma and you had plans to check out the new cat café that opened up just a few blocks from your home. But you hadn’t even made it out of bed, let alone under the shower yet. The comfort of the warm blankets was just too good. The mere thought of leaving this safe haven stressed you out and you had to hold yourself back from crying. You felt so overwhelmed with the world today that you couldn’t entertain the thought of participating in anything right now. All you wanted - no - needed to do was sleep until that heavy feeling on your chest would lift off and let you breathe again.

Just as you were dozing off, you heard your doorbell ring. You didn’t expect a package or anything today, so you didn’t exactly know who would want something from you right now.

Wrapped in your pink aristocats pijama and your very wild bedhead you padded to your door. What you didn’t expect while looking through your peephole was Kenma, standing in front of your apartment, arms full of paper bags.

“Open up, these are heavy you know! I know you’re standing behind the door.”

You took a deep breath before opening the door to let Kenma in. He immediately made his way to the kitchen, where he placed all the bags on the countertop before looking at you.

His gaze was intense. With what seemed like worry in his eyes, he scanned over your tired form.

“What’s wrong y/n?”, he asked.

“Nothing, I’m just tired, didn’t sleep enough last night I guess, but it’ll be better by tomorrow, so you really don’t have to worry about little old me”, you meekly said in an attempt to lighten the mood. You tried giving him the most reassuring smile you could manage, but it didn’t reach your eyes. You knew he noticed by the way his gaze softened. In one swift motion Kenma pulled you into his chest and cradled your head with one hand, while the other found its way around your waist, pulling you closer into him in the process. This took you by surprise, since Kenma and you didn’t really hug a lot.

“Tell me what’s really wrong y/n. I can clearly tell that you are not okay. You are a measly liar”, he whispered into your hair. Damn him and his observation skills, you thought. Well, this is it, you couldn’t hide that part of yourself from him any longer. You were scared to open up to him about that part of yourself, the fear of losing him because he didn’t want to deal with someone as broken as you are was immense.

“y/n?” Kenma spoke up again. You must’ve lost yourself in thought again, you didn’t even notice the tears that slipped past your eyelids and were making their way down your cheeks, before coming to a halt at your chin.

“I’m s-sorry, I - I don’t want to w-worry you… I just, I feel so tired and I f-feel like my battery is completely e-empty. I don’t feel like I c-can handle anyone, including m-myself right now. I j-just want everything to s-stop. I am exhausted, I feel like I a-am drowning within m-myself and t-there seems to b-be no lifeline”, you sniffled into Kenma’s chest. His hold on you tightened at that. He knew you got overwhelmed in crowds sometimes and that you preferred quiet, lazy meet-ups at home over going out. It was one of the reasons why he liked you so much, you didn’t expect him to be outgoing and you always accepted him for the person he was. He knew you were someone who liked their personal time and that the world, especially the people living in it would overwhelm you sometimes, but he had never seen you like this. Small, so fragile, almost as if you crumbled within yourself. As if the slightest blow of wind could knock you over and break you.

“Do you want me to leave? I brought food from that new café. I can just leave it here and go, if you need time to yourself…” Kenma said.

You were torn. On one hand, you really didn’t have the energy to entertain someone right now. But Kenma felt so warm and his embrace made you feel secure. As if the world couldn’t get to you as long as he held you like this. So you tightened your hold on him and shook your head lightly.

A small smile appeared on Kenma’s face.

“Alright, how about you go lay down on the couch then, while I unpack the food and we watch some cheesy movie together?”

The thought of leaving Kenma’s arms didn’t please you at all but you obliged and went to your couch in the open living room. You watched as Kenma started unpacking of cake slices, sandwiches and chocolates out of the bags. He even brought avocado-onigiri. Your favorite. After he displayed everything on plates he came over to put the food and two lemonades on the coffee table. He sat down next to you and turned on your TV. He started your favorite rom-com before he pulled you close to him again so that your head was resting on his chest. As the movie went on, he started to stroke your hair with his hand, while the other was on top of your arm that was draped over his torso. This was still very unfamiliar to you, but it felt nice.

“You know, you never have to hide your feelings from me. Not even the negative ones. I know I sometimes seem a little distant and I am not very open about my own feelings either but you mean a great deal to me and I’m always gonna be here for you. Even when you feel like drowning, I’ll always be a lifeline for you to hold on to. And I know I can’t fix everything, but I’ll try my best to help you with fixing what needs to be fixed.” he whispered softly. You closed your eyes, new tears forming in them making your eyelids heavy. Even if all those inner demons were loud within you, Kenma’s voice and reassuring words slowly drowned them out and you finally felt a bit of the weight on your chest getting lighter. You knew you had to work on these things and you would need more than just Kenma, you’d need professional help to cope with all of this, but with Kenma by your side like this, you felt like anything was possible. Before you dozed off in Kenma’s embrace you whispered back: “thank you so much for being here”.

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu x reader #kenma x reader #hq x y/n #hq x reader #haikyuu x y/n #kenma x you #kenma x y/n #kenma kozume #kenma x gender neutral reader #kenma kozume x y/n #haikyuu #haikyuu oneshot #kenma #kenma hurt/comfort #kenma angst #haikyuu hurt/comfort #haikyuu angst

[intynidad]

headcanons that my banana brain came up with

hello everyone inty here with some mana potions that I brewed myself hope you enjoy!

(all of this are my personal headcanons is perfectly fine if you think otherwise,please be free to share your own headcanons so we can all enjoy them!)

Heartslabyul

because of his past if you raise your hand at Riddle (like stretching or trying to get something) he will flinch, only trey knows the reason

riddle drinks a lot of chamomile and lavender tea so he can relax

deuce still has a couple of friends of his ex-“delinquent gang” they are proud of him for looking for a better future and tease him about that when he became a police officer he will go easy on them

ace has a lot of nightmares 

cater has a deep-rooted fear that maybe he is not the “original” carter and is just a clone or that people gonna start liking one of his clones more than him

when Trey started to learn to bake he almost burns down his parent’s bakery 

cater has a secret magicam account where he posts more personal things

all of the heartslabyul gang baby-talks to the hedgehog and flamingos 

ace has a low pain-tolerance

Savanaclaw

Jack genuinely believes in soulmates

Ruggie is trans 

Leona really cares about Ruggie in a brotherly way because he sees him as the little brother he never had 

jack is demisexual 

Ruggie listens to “mother mother” and his favorite song is “wrecking ball”

jack send letters to his family at least once a week

Leona taught octaville how to use eyeliner and eye shadow 

Leona has a secret diary in which he writes every night, nobody knows about it

Octavinelle

jade and floyd had done the thing where they switch hairstyles and pretend to be the other or the “who is who game”

when Floyd discovered what hair dye was he came to the lounge with a different color each day 

Floyd loves bananas (i will not elaborate on this)

Floyd has a sweet tooth unlike jade that prefers salty things

the only pictures that Azul has of his childhood are the ones he is with the twins

Azul was a victim a countless “pranks” that a girl came to “confess her love for him” he fell for it once and is still something that hurts him to this day 

jade knows how to do macrame

floyd is neurodivergent

Scarabia

Kalim is good at drawing

Jamil has the softest hair in all NRC

Kalim is more flexible than Jamil but Jamil has more stamina 

after Jamil overblot, Kalim became his personal cheerleader (he even made pompons)

Kalim has this little notebook where he writes step by step how to do certain things and once he can do it alone he rips the page and puts it in a little box, he dreams of the day that his little notebook has only the cover and no pages 

Kalim has only eaten food that hasn’t been taste-tested made by Jamil and the mc

Jamil likes red poppies and flowers in general

Pomefiore

Rook is really good at sewing

Vil eats in a weird way so he won’t mess his lipstick

Rook knows a little bit of Spanish 

when Epel feels lonely he craves apples in the shape of things he remembers from home

since the beach incident in episode 5, Epel and Deuce became really good friends, and they hang out on the weekends 

Epel has a “green thumb”

Ignihyde

Ortho likes Nintendo more while Idia likes pc more 

Idia favorite game saga is “the legend of Zelda”

Ortho records every time he sees his brother smile

Idia has dyslexia 

Idia has a collection of weirdly specific enamel pins

Idia doesn’t really need to sleep unlike Ortho that needs to recharge every couple of weeks

Idia has a notebook with “stats” of every person he knows 

Ortho made Idia start to use glasses for screens he didn’t like it at first but now he has like 10+ pairs

Diasomnia

Lilia doesn’t know how to cook because of how many time he has been alive so his brain got all the flavors mixed and in war, you can’t actually have the luxury of cooking the tastiest food so he learned to do what he can 

when silver or Sebek has nightmares they go to Lilia’s room 

Malleus discovered what cuddles are and REALLY wanna do it with the mc but is too awkward to ask (omg I love so much this lizard)

Lillia has horrible taste in fashion and he dresses up like a weird toddler

Malleus has another Tamagotchi that he named after us!

when malleus came over for the first time at ramshackle dorm and saw the horrible state that was, he commissioned the headmaster to renovate it and in the meantime, mc can stay in diasominia! (i should write a fic about this)

Silver favorite animal are baby ducklings 

Sebek went from “HUMAN!” (degradation) to “HUMAN!”(affectionate)

Silver has a little plushy Lilia gave him when he was just a baby

#Headcanon #twisted wonderland #twst #twst kalim #twst headcanons #twst wonderland #twst jamil #twst rook #twst riddle #riddle rosehearts #ace trappola #deuce spade #trey clover #cater diamond #leona kingscholar #ruggie bucchi #jack howl #azul ashengrotto #twst floyd #floyd leech #twst jade #jade leech #kalim al asim #Jamil Viper #vil schoenheit #twisted wonderland vil #twst vil #twisted wonderland rook #rook hunt #twst epel

[therianterritory]

Wolf behavior nuanced by human behavior

Hello hello, I go through the jungle of the Therian Community pretty much daily. I didn't need more than a year to know that therians love to express and talk about the urges, behaviors, and instincts of their theriotype. Logical, of course, it's what the community is about, to talk to people who experience the same thing. But something I often notice is that therians tend to link almost anything to their therianthropy. Of course, therianthropy can influence a person's life greatly. But something important we tend to forget is the fact that humans are also still animals. Even though we have evolved far enough to let our intelligence dominate our instincts, we still unconsciously display instinctive behavior 24/7. If I'd be a fly on your wall and observe you for a little bit, I could point out several behaviorisms that you didn't even think about doing.

Upon questioning a theriotype and examining your therianthropic behavior, it's always important to divide the instinctive human behavior from the non-human animal. I'm not saying some behavior can't be both, in fact, I believe a lot of therianthropy can be influenced by human behavior and the other way around. I often notice myself doing some wolf-like things, and then think to myself if that is normal for a human being to do as well. I am also in no way trying to debunk therianthropy, of course, why would I?

I wanted to dedicate this post to nuancing some often talked about wolf behaviors by comparing them to similar human behaviors. Of course with every human instinct and behavior, it is important to rather compare it to the times when we were still living in tribes, because that's the time where instincts were still crucial to our survival. Because that's what most behaviors and instincts are about: survival.

1. Packs We'll start off easy. A lot of therians express their desire for finding a therian pack. I sometimes hear wolf therians saying it's because their "inner wolf" desperately tries to find some soulmates to be family with. But in reality, as most of you may know, humans are also seriously drawn to forming groups (even with a hierarchy system). This is because it is essential to someone's survival to stick with a group. It's that sense of "belonging" that people are actually after, and that's okay.

2. Being a "lone" wolf Opposite to the human urge to form groups, a lot of therians claim they don't want to be in a pack and that they're generally anti-social. They believe that the lone wolf stays alone and completely fine with this. First of all, a lone wolf is never alone by choice, because every lone wolf either seeks a mate to start a pack with or has walked away/was driven away from their pack to find rest and die. A wolf being alone and staying alone voluntarily goes entirely against their nature, as wolves are pack animals. Now to look at human behaviors, social capabilities really variate per person. Every human eventually has to distance themselves from groups to recharge that social battery. Some people have a very long-running one, and some have a very short-running one. Even tho it may seem to go against that group-forming instinct, it's still a very normal human thing to do.

3. Curling up I often hear wolf therians whine about the fact that their human body is incapable of curling up the way a wolf does when they sleep. I speak from experience that this can indeed be a struggle, as it seems incredibly comfortable. But even though a wolf naturally curls up when they sleep, humans actually also have a rooted urge to curl up or at least make themselves small when they sleep. This posture stems from the fetal posture we had when we were still in our mother's womb. It was scientifically proven that reenacting this position gives a sense of protection. 40% of people actually sleep in this position. [source]

4. The Weather & the seasons I've heard quite some therians mention that the weather and the changes of the season have a great effect on the amount and severity of their shifts. I have the same, and I am not denying that shifts get influenced by these factors. But it is important to note that humans, in fact, also get greatly influenced by weather and seasons. The greatest proof of this is Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) which is the occurrence of a person dealing with great mood swings and states of depression based on the time of the year. A lot of people feel more depressed during winter, for example. This also has to do with the amount of sunlight in comparison to summer. But factors like storms and snow also affect people's moods. It can make them excited and/or tensed.

5. Therian Territory ;) A lot of (wolf) therians such as myself have a big tendency to claim territory in a variety of ways. Wolves mark their territory by urinating everywhere. Although not every therian feels comfortable sharing their potential urges to urinate on trees like so, territorial urges are still expressed within the community. But have you ever wondered why people look for houses to live in? And why there is such a distinct border between what is your private property and the plain unclaimed sidewalk? Territory is linked to social status, for this reason, people often buy bigger houses when they earn more money than average, simply to claim space. In this article, there is some good evidence that human territoriality is, in fact, different from other animals.

6. Alphas This is actually the only point that I'd really like to debunk: what was once known as the wolf hierarchy. When wolves were being studied thoroughly, about their pack system, their behaviors, and body language, they were studied by putting a bunch of unrelated wild wolves in an enclosure. In order to survive, the alpha-beta-omega system formed, and this false theory was spread throughout the entire world. In reality, wolf packs are nothing more than families. The supposed "alphas" are simply the elders or parents of the pack. The betas are often the big sisters, and the omegas would be the pups.The funny part about this theory is that it was later discovered that apes, in fact, do have this hierarchy system... including humans. When humans form a group (not talking about families here), they will actually subconsciously create such a hierarchy system. There's often a leader (alpha), the people who follow that leader (beta), and the people who walk on the sideline, aren't taken as seriously or are even being a little neglected by the rest (omega). 7. Drawn to nature While most therians are particularly drawn to nature-like sceneries, more so than more people, humans in fact still generally feel more connected to nature than the city life. Living in cities is, in my opinion, more of a result of people staying together for better survival and being able to take a shorter distance to work. But naturally, humans have a deep connection with nature. In the world of biology, this is apparently called Biophilia (philia is a New Latin noun-combining form to describe a fondness or love for a specific subject). More about Biophilia can be found in this article.

In all honesty, a lot of therianthropic urges and behaviorism can have some type of nuance from our human nature. It does not make our Therianthropy any less valid (yes, I said the v-word :laugh: ). With this knowledge, I just hope that people are now able to make a better distinction between wolf and human behavior. So I hoped this helped a little, in case you're questioning an animal or researching some therianthropy roots.

Feel free to critique this piece as it was partially from my own memory from a couple of years of research, I'm not trying to play the all-knowing wolf here. I'd also love to know if you guys know more of these wolf behaviors that could be nuanced by human behavior! How many of these did you know about?

#therian #therianthropy #psychological therianthropy #wolf behavior #wolf nature #human behavior #human nature #therians #Wolftherian #therianterritory

[gamesception]

So, coming off of Metroid Dread, I was inspired to go back to revisit the series roots. I never actually beat the original Metroid before. I played it a bunch when I was little, but I was too young for it, never really got anywhere or did much. Didn't help that I've always had a terrible head for directions, and the original game doesn't have an in game map. Going back to it now, the only area I had trouble navigating was Norfair, which is a bit of a maze. Coming back as an adult I was actually able to appreciate how kindly Brinstar eases you into the game, with it's relatively few columns and rows, each conveniently color coded.

I probably could have managed better if I was a bit older, but by the time I was old enough for it Super Metroid was out, eclipsing the original altogether, as it did with much of the public consciousness since it was one of those SNES sequels that was sort of a soft reboot, just doing the same concept as an NES original only better.

But yeah, I did play the original a lot when I was little, and it left a really strong impression in my mind. It just felt so completely different from everything else. Kraid's lair in particular, especially its theme music, really creeped me out in a way that was somehow also really intriguing. Going back to the game now, with the benefit of save states, I can say that the thing that really held me back as a kid - even more than the lack of a map - is the agonizingly slow process of refilling your energy & missiles when you get low. Every time you die you respawn at the start of the current area, but with 30 health and no missiles. Even after picking up just a couple energy tanks and a few missiles, the process of getting back to healthy if you die, or even if you are brought to low health and survive, can take like 10 solid minutes of farming bugs out of tubes. It's obnoxious.

I only even got through the game now by abusing save states so I only had to do that a couple times. By the end of the game I had 700 health and 250 missiles, and you can only recharge that 5 health or 2 missiles at a time from enemy drops, and enemies only drop anything at all like half the time. I died like half a dozen times on the way to Mother Brain, and another half dozen against Mother Brain herself, and if I had had to spend like 10 to 15 minutes farming resources instead of just loading a state each time, I absolutely would have quit before beating her.

That aside, though, it really is a neat game worth looking back at. Particularly in terms of that 'experience of exploration' bit I talked about before. Items and upgrades aren't spread out over an expected sequence or carefully doled out as rewards for tricky gameplay puzzles, they're just out there in the world. Hidden items are actually hidden - behind illusionary walls or acid pits, or rooms only accessible through breakable blocks in the floor or ceiling.

When I got the high hump, or the varia suit, it felt like a Discovery. By comparison, Most of the abilities in Metroid Dread (or Zero Mission & Fusion, which I played in the run up to Dread's Release)? Abilities you typically get after defeating a boss on a directed progression path? They don't really feel like discoveries, instead they feel like rewards. Rewards are still fun and feel good to get, so that's not inherently a change for the worse, but while it's a subtle difference, imo it's still a pretty important one.

Metroid IS still clunky as hell, with twice the jank. Movement isn't great, rooms are repeated over and over, and it sorely needed a faster way to refill your health and ammo. But if you can get past all that, yeah, it's worth revisiting. You can really feel the roots of the genre, particularly in how the high jump boots and ice beam open up otherwise inaccessible paths. And as much as the genre has grown, there's also elements that were strong in this initial outing that were subsequently lost along the way, and maybe deserve to be dusted off & given another look.

If you do, and you're not concerned with 'original experience', there are romhacks that address some of the more troublesome aspects, in particular adding a map to the pause screen and a save feature that refills health so you don't have to do farm tube bugs every time you restart or die. Honestly, I don't think this obscures the great parts of the experience, so if you're curious about the original game but are worried about it's off-putting nature, I'd definitely recommend trying something like this: romhacking.net/hacks/1186/

Or maybe this if you want some a bundle of aesthetic updates and some slightly revamped boss fights while you're at it: romhacking.net/hacks/1988/

I haven't personally tried either of those hacks yet, but they both seem to be worth looking at if you're curious about the original metroid but want a somewhat a slightly more refined presentation and some QoL fixes.

Unfortunately the official remake, Zero Mission for the GBA, is essentially a completely different game, much more derived in its design. Zero Mission is a good game and a great introduction to the 2d platform Metroidvania genre and the Metroid series in particular. But in re-imagining the original from the ground up it looses a lot of NES Metroid's distinguishing features, both good and bad, so it's kind of useless if you're specifically trying to examine the origin and early evolution of the franchise.

#metroid #more rambling #definitely should have looked into romhacks before revisiting this title #since I was emulating on vita anyway #instead of playing official releases on 3ds or switch

[saintheartwing]

So...I’ve Begun Reading Artemis Fowl...It IS Really Good

So, I decided to check out the movie and...ugh.Not good. So I began to think “How badly did they screw this up” and began reading the books.

They’re REALLY good. The thing you need to know about Artemis Fowl is he starts off as...well, a smug snake. He’s a big jerk in a lot of ways who, after his dad supposedly dies out trying to get into a new market in Russia which the Russian mafia doesn’t take kind to, his mom goes nutso. She doesn’t recognize him half the time. His only friend is his butler...and he doesn’t even know Butler’s real name. He’s also a super brilliant young man. Add all that up, and you get a very selfish, self-centered, pretentious young man who doesn’t find ANYBODY his equal. 

He decides upon doing some investigation into the more strange and occultish things in the world to get hold of a ton of money through a SEEMINGLY insane, ludicrous way...through the fairy world. Yes, there’s actual elves. He got into it, evidently, by trolling through the ancient stories and there always seemed to be commonalities among them from ancient races. 

Artemis slightly lucks out. He’s able to get hold of basically the Fairy Bible, the Book of the People. It provides insider knowledge of how they do things, and through that, he makes a plan. He’ll kidnap a fairy, overcoming their magic, and ransom them for gold. It’ll be difficult, they need to get one that’s low on magic. And they have to wear special sunglasses that will be reflective, for fairies can MESMERIZE people, hypnotizing them.  They’ll catch one doing the necessary ritual for magic recharge. 

The good news is fairies are fairly commonly popping out of the Underground they live in in Ireland...where the Fowl manor is located. And the ritual is best done near an ancient oak and a riverbend and even better, under a full moon. Well, there’s one not too far from Fowl Manor...and after some staking out...Fowl catches one. A fairy named Holly Short, the only female fairy on the recon unit that the fair folk have. 

He, Butler, and his butler’s sister Juliet lock her in a room with a bed. They’ve got their hostage. They use the helmet armor she’s got to communicate with her boss. The fairies figure out where Fowl Manor is, but though they can slow down time, pretty much stop it...Artemis now has fairy tech because he caught Holly, and this means Butler can move freely through the time bubble. He kicks the butts of EVERY recon agent sent to save her. So Holly’s boss, Commander Root, has to come in for negotiations. 

Artemis wants gold. A ton of twenty four carat gold. And a ton of gold is, evidently,  64.3 million dollars. A looot of money. Root says that Artemis can’t win. They have a “bio bomb”. It destroys all organic matter used on it, and if they’re caught in a time field, as they are right now, they can’t just race out the front door to get away. There’s only one helmet, and there’s three of them. They’re trapped.

Right?

Well, Artemis says he knows how to escape it. And he’s thought of everything ELSE the fairies would do so far. So...they send in a wild card. Professional Thief Mulch Diggums, a dwarf. Dwarves are natural diggers, they tunnel by unhinging their jaws, eating through the dirt, and expelling it out their rump.

...yeaaah...THAT particular scene from the movie’s pretty accurate. So Mulch is called on to tunnel into the Fowl estate to try and help free Holly. At the same time, Holly’s got a way to break free. She’s been using the bed to break into the floor and beneath the floor...is some earth. And she’s got an acorn on her. With that acorn and the proper words and access to real Earth...she can recharge her magic. Not even reflective lenses can keep her from mesmerizing Juliet. And Mulch finds Artemis’s copy of the Book of the People, thus taking away his big advantage over the fairies. Holly’s now free, but she can’t leave the house. Fairies have rules to adhere to if they wanna keep their magic, and when captured by Artemis, one of his rules was “You absolutely can’t leave the house”. Now...she COULD leave her room. He didn’t say she couldn’t do that. But the house? Nope.

No matter. Root’s gonna send in the gold, get Holly out...then bio bomb the place, stroll in, and claim the ransom.

Unfortuntely his second in command and friend, Cudgeon, has a better idea. They’ve got a troll Holly recently caught. Cudgeon suggested to the fairy’s ruling council to just launch the troll in. Have it wreck the place, the humans will be screaming for help, and then the fairies can just bust in and kick Fowl’s little ass up and down the halls. And if Holly’s hurt, well...too bad. 

It goes badly. Butler is strong and skilled but he was trying to get Juliet to safety and he wasn’t expecting a TROLL. Holly tries to help fight it off but she can’t get her helmet to work properly, it’s been damaged, and the weapon she used on the troll earlier to beat it was IN the helmet. She only manages to make it reel back, but she’s badly hurt. BUT...not so hurt she can’t use magic to heal Butler. Who is NOT. PLAYING.

He rises up, puts some nearby knight armor from a standing knight stand on...and has a mace. BAM! BAM! BAM! He has a Sig Saurer submachine gun. BAM-BAM-BAM! Nobody touches his sister. But...Holly asks him not to kill the troll. It’s beaten. And it’s just a dumb animal, please show mercy. So he doesn’t kill it, kicks it out, and Artemis and Juliet and Butler get contacted by Root, who agrees to send the money in, apologizing for the troll. 

Holly feels bad that Juliet’s about to get killed, she doesn’t feel bad about Artemis, but she doesn’t want Juliet killed. She says “I have magic, please, isn’t there anything I can do, you’re gonna be killed!” Artemis says there’s nothing she can do. He knows there’s a real danger coming but he’s sure he can beat it.

Although...there is ONE thing Holly could do with her magic. 

Then...sure enough...Holly is allowed to leave the house with half the gold. Payment for services rendered. The fairies launch the bio bomb as Artemis and Butler and Juliet drink drugged champagne.

And THAT...is how they beat the time field and the bio bomb. By knocking themselves unconcious, they can weasel out of the time field’s effects. When the fairy recon team comes in...yep. Sure enough, no bodies lying around. Artemis has escaped. So he gets to keep half a ton of gold. 

And...well, Holly did some magic for Artemis. She cured his mother of her mental illness. And that’s the first book.

Artemis is kinda unlikable, but having Holly freeing herself basically, not being a true damsel in distress, AND her saving Butler, who’s a lot more uneasy and disliking of Artemis’s plan, makes the story engaging. Artemis may not be a nice kid you can like, but the other characters make up for that. And there’s great worldbuilding and humor, with some nice, dry wit. 

The “Artic Incident” shows that Artemis’s mom is having him see a shrink. THe issue is he doesn’t respect anybody else. Nobody alive. Sure, he respects people like Einstein and Archimedes, but nobody PRESENT. And his dad’s still gone.

...or so he thought. A video has come in. Slightly blurry. But a man is tied up to a pole in a Russian winter and a sign on him reads...Hello Son. 

...Artemis is sure it’s him. And the FAIRIES are sure Artemis has teamed up with one of the most problematic, and STUPIDEST races of all...goblins. Nasty little things who can breath fire and who are super dumb...but now they’re using human tech to attack the fair folk underground. Who else but Artemis would do it? It’s sinister, evil, clever, it’s totally him.

The joke, though, is it isn’t him  who’s sold the tech to the goblins. Holly brings him in to be interrogated by Commander Root, and the scientist centaur, Foaly, who’s a brilliant mind and who makes fascianting devices like iris cams, little cameras that can slip onto your eyes as easily as a contact lens. Artemis isn’t behind what the goblins are doing BUT...he’s willing to help find out who is...

If they help him get his dad back. Well, Root agrees. Holly at first doesn’t believe Artemis actually cares until more time goes on and she realizes “Oh, wow, he’s serious, he DOES care about his dad, he’s not as cold and cruel as I thought”. They find out though that...well...they’ve got problems. While going to Russia, and trekking through the artic to where his dad is being held...goblins attack, and their weapons have been sabotaged! Somebody on the inside has screwed them over. 

But no, it’s not Foaly or Commander Root or the like. It’s Cudgeon. He’s teamed up with the pixie Opal Kaboi, a brilliant young woman who “upgraded” all the fairy folk police weaponry...as part of a plan for Cudgeon to take over the fairy lands. He’s sold weapons to the goblins, and he’s depowered the fair folks weapons...but then he’ll come riding in, JUST in time to save them. The weapons of the fair folk will be restored, the goblin rebellion put down, and they’ll all be so grateful he saved them he’ll get into a position of power. And then he’ll make Opal Kaboi meet with a tragic accident. Maybe several. And, of course, he’ll kill off Commander Root and Holly and Foaly and those “mud men”, as he calls Artemis and Butler. Heck, all the fairies call humans mud men. Racist pricks. 

Artemis is able to help stop the rebellion. He exposes cudgeon to Opal, Butler and Root kick goblin ass, and in the end, they uphold their end of the bargain and go back to Russia to free Artemis’s dad, faking him being shot. Artemis thanks Holly...rather profusely, at that. He’s SUPER grateful. She’s given him back his family, she’s saved his life once, and she’s just an amazing woman and-

Yeaaah, it’s sorta implied he KINDA has feelings for her. And Holly’s grateful too, not just for the “helping to stop the goblin rebellion and conspiracy” thing. She had lost her finger in an incident involving a train earlier when travelling through the artic with him. A door had slammed and cut her finger off, but Artemis was able to get it back on and to use the magic ritual to heal her, meaning she didn’t have to lose her trigger finger. She gives him a gold coin that she shoots through, a trophy, and says that beneath that exterior, there’s a “spark of decency. Blow on it sometime”.

The next story has Artemis trying to be a bit more...well, less criminal. He’s got some technology he salvaged from that helmet Holly left behind at his house. He’s used the tech and made a fancy computer cube, YEAAAARS beyond anything humanity has. No, he’s not putting it on the market. Not yet. He wants a businessman, Jon Spiro, to invest in his company he’s gonna be making. He’ll keep the cube off the market, Jon Spiro can sell his stocks, and invest in a real winner. After all nobody else has this kind of tech.

Spiro, however, is like “I could just kill you and take your fancy computer here you just showed me”. And Artemis is like “Oh give me a break, I arranged to meet you in a public restaurant, in broad daylight, and with my bodyguard who’s like three times your size, you can’t threaten me.”

Well. actually...he can. Spiro had the ENTIRE PLACE filled with his assassins before Artemis arrived. All the “customers” are his men. He takes the cube and leaves Artemis to get plugged by his bodyguards. Not good! The good news is Artemis rigged a sonic grenade underneath the table and they set it off. So all the bodyguards are beaten down!

Bad news is that one of the bodyguards actually was prepared for such a thing...well, mostly. His teeth are all blown out but he’s still concious enough...to try and shoot Artemis right in the chest. 

Butler barely saves him, taking the shot, and managing to shoot THAT guy, knocking him out. But Butler...Butler’s wound is basically fatal, and he reveals his true name, Domovoi, before he goes limp.

Artemis is DESPERATE. He has only one recourse. He sticks Butler in the nearby frozen fish ice tank in the restaurant to keep the body cool, and calls in a favor, getting a cryo pod delivered to keep Butler’s body cool. He then makes a call. A public phone call...that talks about stuff ONLY the fair folk would know, all to get the attention of the fairies. And lucky him...Holly shows up. He begs her to heal Butler. 

“Please, Holly. I can’t just let him go. It’s BUTLER...”

“...alright, Mud Boy.” Holly agrees. She owes Butler, after all. He’s saved her life several times and he’s a good man. Foaly the centaur is unsure the magical procedure will work, it’s NEVER really been done before. Artemis keeping the body cool has helped, but...it’s a shot in the dark.

But...the magic ritual works. Holly heals him. But she’s also sorta...took  some of his life force. The process made him age a bit. He’s now got a beard! But, still, he’s alive.

Artemis admits what happened with the cube computer, and Jon Spiro. And the cube is SO powerful and SO beyond normal human tech, in Spiro’s hands, it’d be a nightmare for all parties. He can easily, if he cracks the code on it, find out about the fairy folk. So Artemis offers to clean up his mess if he can get some help from Holly. Commander Root says sure...if he agrees to a mind wipe. He, Juliet, and Butler. They’ll remove all memory of the People from him, he won’t remember anything about fairies and the like, and they’ll fill in the gaps since, after all, he’s known about them for several years now. 

Artemis agrees, and they come up with a plan. Jon Spiro can’t get INTO the cube. So Artemis will agree to come to him in exchange for Spiro not going after him and his family, and he’ll crack the code he put on the cube to allow Spiro to make use of it. But it’s a trick. He’s wired with some fairy tech to spy on Spiro through it all as they make a plan. He’ll “fix” the cube, crack it open...but make it so it won’t actually tell Spiro about The People. On top  of that, he knows full well Spiro wants to use the cube to get even with his rivals...

And what better way to do that than to break into their own corporate HQ with the cube and hack their security and steal all their stuff right from out of their noses? Artemis is like “I don’t think that’s a good ideaaaa” in a sort of more subtle “Stop, don’t, come back” bit from Willy Wonka. He’s COUNTING on Spiro being a “rub his face in it” type...and Spiro really, REALLY is that type. Super petty, super smug. And super screwed. Artemis and the gang manage to trap him, get the cops to show up, and they steal the cube back, with Artemis tricking Spiro handily. He even fiddled with the cameras in the facility that Spiro tried to break into to make it look like HE wasn’t even there at all!

With the adventure done, the gang has to have their memories wiped. Artemis gives Mulch Diggums, who helped with everything, the gold coin memento Holly gave him saying “it means a lot to me, and I’d like you to have it”. He also thanks Holly for everything. He has both his family and now real friends thanks to the People. He wishes he didn’t have to forget that. 

Soon, the memory wipe is done. Artemis tried to leave behind some memory triggers to get AROUND the wipe, like unsent emails, online storage, and even a time capsule buried in the yard. But...well, that gold coin he gave to Mulch the dwarf isn’t ACTUALLY the coin.

It’s a computer disc. With a few memory triggers on it. He also has a note attached to it. “Wait a few years and come find me...we’re gonna do a TON of business together”, basically. Artemis, meanwhile, realizes a short time after the mind wipe that..something isn’t right. He was washing his face...when a tiny lens fell from his eyes. A corroded contact lens with a mirrored  layer behind it. And Juliet and Butler had them too. But they don’t remember putting those lenses there...clearly, something’s up. And he’s determined to find out what. 

Meanwhile, Holly and Foaly are rather sad about wiping Artemis’s memory. They were really beginning to like him. They’re worried, too, that maybe wiping his memory has taken away all the progress he’s made. Maybe he’s back to being that cold, cruel criminal Holly met those few years ago...

Well, the People will soon end up needing him. Because the pixie Opal Kaboi, sinister mastermind and sociopathic inventor, has been faking a coma, and she’s got two servants of hers to break her out. She switches herself with a clone of her that’s brain dead to fake the coma, and she’s got a plan. She’s disguised herself as a human, the child of a billionaire environmentalist, and she’s going to make herself human...and have her dad do a special project. A project...to tunnel down into the Earth to tap into the core.

And, well...fairies live underground. The two races are sure to meet thanks to this project, and Opal is sure they’ll be war, and with her sinister technology and skills, she intends to wipe out the fair folk and have humans win, and then work her way up from there, getting more and more power so she can finally take over the world. 

Artemis, meanwhile, is engaging in some theft of a very special painting...the Fairy Thief. He’s now gonna be the youngest thief in the entire world, and as he admires the painting, he realizes something about this Pascal Herve painting. The fairy is lingering at the window because she can’t come in unless INVITED. How does he know that? 

At the same time, Holly and Commander Root are trying to track down a goblin general who was able to sneak out of prison. Root has recommended Holly to basically take over the division she’s a part of, to be, well, a commander herself. And he also wants her to know how proud he is of what she’s become. He’s become a secondary father to her after she lost her own dad twenty years back. 

...I think...you can guess what I’m going to say next. No, he’s not three days until retirement. But he and Holly walk into a trap set up by Opal Kaboi. The goblin general is wired. When Root tries to grab the goblin...a special bomb is strapped to him. One that’s messing with the electronics in the room they’re currently stuck in. Foaly, watching everything from Holly’s camera, can’t hear what’s being said, and all he sees is her pointing a gun at her commanding officer, he can’t even see the bomb because the bomb’s made of a special stealth ore. 

Root is gonna explode. But Opal says “Hey, if you shoot this ONE SPECIFIC PART of the bomb...MAYBE you’ll stop the countdownn, but you really should go off and save those mud men, because the Fairy Thief painting they’re after has a tracking chip in it. And I’ve sent a bio bomb after them to blow them up.” 

Holly is SURE she can make the shot and stop the countdown but...

...well, she doesn’t. Poor Root is violently blown up. It’s a horrifying, terrible scene. And shortly after as Holly BARRELS desperately to try and save them, the bio bomb soars at Artemis and Butler! The good news is Butler leaps out the window with Artemis, using a bed to cushion the fall.

The bad news is they barely survive. Holly manages to save Artemis, carrrying him off, intending to come back to help Butler later, he’s just WAY too heavy to carry, and after healing Artemis, and he awakens, she explains what’s going on. 

You might think he doesn’t believe her. But no, he does. He remembers the strange lenses he’d put in his eyes, and her story lines up with them. He found out shortly after discovering those lenses HE ordered them, and he could only have done so to cheat a fairy mesmer. So he belives Holly...but he doesn’t remember her one iota. 

Butler, meanwhile, is visited by Mulch Diggum, who’s broken out of prison upon hearing Julius Root is dead and Holly is suspect number one. They’re his friends...and he HAS to help them! So he’s gone to Fowl Manor...with the memory trigger disc. He plays it for Butler...and Butler remembers everything. Good thing too...

Because Opal Kaboi has just found Artemis and Holly and intends to PERSONALLY have them killed as NASTILY as possible cuz they avoided being killed by her little bombs earlier. She’s gonna have trolls tear them apart. And she rubs salt in the wound by telling Holly that hey, funny story...that sweet spot I told you about? On the bomb on Root? That I said if you shot, it’d stop the countdown? Well, there wasn’t one. I lied just to frame you. The good news is, Artemis had his phone on and was leaving a message at Fowl Manor, and Butler and Mulch heard the whole thing, so they know where Opal is gonna be sending them. And they hurry over as Artemis begins to get more of his memories back, and they try to escape from being torn apart by trolls.

Soon Artemis has his whole memory back...and he’s torn by guilt over what he did to Holly when he first met her. He feels scummy. And he also swears to stop Opal Kaboi. And he knows exactly how. 

They know where Opal is going to be because she’s bragged so much. Mulch is able to sneak onto her ship...steal the bombs she intended to trigger that would be part of her plan to damage the home of the fairies and make them even MORE vulnerable to the drilling plan her “adopted human father” was planning...and put them in her ship. In fact, right where she was keeping her chocolate truffles. Just to add insult to injury. Opal had been all “You’re so dumb if you thought stealing the bombs would stop me, I’ll just detonate them and your whole ship will blow up”. Well, Opal, they did steal them from your ship...but they just moved it to another part of the ship you didn’t think to check...

Until it’s too late. Opal’s ship blows up, she BARELY escapes to the surface...and just as her  magic has run out, leaving her stranded in Italy and forced to work in a vineyard, digging holes for grapes and the like. Artemis and the gang reunite with Foaly and explain to him and the fairy authorities what happened, and after an investigation and Commander Julius Root’s funeral, Holly is cleared. She and Mulch decide to work together as private detectives, the Fairy Folk now consider Artemis and Butler a true friend of the people, Mulch has his criminal record expunged completely, and Artemis, in a show of generosity, decides to secretly donate “The Fairy Thief” painting he stole (which,t to be fair, was taken from ANOTHER thief...) to the Louvre.

The fourth story is definitely the height of the series. Some dramatic changes, Artemis at his very best, the interplay with the gang, the high stakes...so I can recommend the series. Well, to a point. THIS point. After this, the books begin to go downhill. It just comes across as spinning  it’s wheels, and then for the last book, well...

Well, uh...see, there’s this plan Opal has to cause chaos and because a TON of her technology is now being used up on the surface world, all the technology she had friggin blows up. We’re talking stuff like dialysis machines and other medical equipment made useless. Pacemakers? BOOM! Right in your chest! Submarines no longer functioning! People on boats? Stranded! People begin looting. PLANES FALL FROM THE SKY. 

Oh but hey, at least they’re not distracted by TV anymore. No really, that’s...like, nobody really dwells on what’s clearly a horrific, apocalyptic scenario and god knows how many people died...

Look, I love the series. But I think I can best recommend it...in the graphic novel format it came in. So check those out. They go all the way, at least currently, up to the fourth book. So just read those if you can. They’re a ton of fun and super creative. :)

#artemis fowl #fiction #action #Adventure #comic #recommndation

[nancypullen]

Whew!

We arrived home just before 8pm on Monday night.  We departed Portland, Maine at 2-ish, flew to New York’s La Guardia airport, waited a couple of hours and caught our flight to Nashville.  

This was my view as we taxied for takeoff at LaGuardia. The Big Apple!

It was a gorgeous day to fly.  I never cease to be amazed by these views. I love being above the clouds.

I had a front row seat as day slipped into night.

*sigh*  Beautiful. Once we were on the ground in Nashville we grabbed our bags, then an Uber, and in no time at all we were greeting the kitties.  Fifteen days away doesn’t sound that long when you’re planning a getaway, but it’s too long for a homebody like me.  The lovely neighbor who was watching the cats and getting the mail was thoughtful enough to leave a baked ziti dinner for us as a welcome home.  We ate dinner, went through the stack of mail (85% junk), showered, and then slept.  Oh my word, it felt so good to slide into our own bed.  Normally on our first day home I get all of our travel laundry done and do a grocery shop - but Mickey had decided to make a quick trip down to Atlanta to see his mother. He asked if I wanted to go along and I told him I’d rather have a root canal than get back in a car for another trip. So I made a grocery run and got busy cooking since I never send him empty-handed.  I spent the day making a slow chicken soup (it takes all day but it’s worth it) and a pumpkin spice coffee cake with a streusel topping.  I finished just in time to make our dinner.  I have to say, it didn’t bother me a bit to spend a day in my kitchen listening to good tunes and making the place smell good.  We each took a rapid COVID test last night (we’re both negative), so Mickey felt safe visiting his mom.  He left around 8 o’clock this morning, and shortly after that I walked a thank you gift over to the cat-watching neighbor, then came home and started laundry.  That’s when I realized that I am just bone tired.  Guys, I just need to be still and recharge.  Ever feel that way?  No? Maybe it’s just me.  I need to hibernate for a few days.  I still have a bunch of vacation pics to plow through, and I’ll get this blog caught up - but today I just gave myself a pass.  Since I’m the boss of me I doubt I’ll get fired.  Besides, these two have been like velcro ...

and they need me to cuddle with them. My right leg has been asleep for twenty minutes, but they’re happy.  Who needs circulation anyway?  I’m going to make an early night of it and start fresh tomorrow. That’s all for now, folks.  I’ll meet you back here tomorrow.   Stay safe, stay well, get some rest (we all need it!). XOXO, Nancy

[whatareyousearchingfordean]

I See You

Summary: Alex hasn’t been feeling quite herself, Dean is there to listen. 

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Alex, aka me (platonic)

Word Count: 1.5K+

Warnings: Language, angst, talks of anxiety 

THIS ONE COULD BE LEGIT TRIGGERING, DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE AT ALL CONCERNED THAT IT MAY NOT BE SAFE FOR YOU.

Author’s Note: Hey guys, I’ve had a really rough couple of days, some of the darkest I have ever seen in myself, so I spit out these words to try and make some sense of my own feelings. It was cathartic and I feel like I’m getting to a place where I can be alright. This is a love letter to myself, so enjoy, or don’t, it is for me ultimately. I figured I would share to remind everyone that we are not alone in our struggles. Special thanks to @waywardbeanie​ without whom I would not have made it through this hump. Thanks for always being my champion, and of course the gratuitous Jensen photos. Also, this is completely unedited, just rough and raw feelings. xo Alex

The sounds of Dean’s boots hitting the tile of the bunker echoed down the hall as he made his way inside. The hunter wiped the grease from his hands as he stepped into the war room, his eyes going straight to his little brother in front of a computer in the library. 

“Hey, Sammy.” Sam hummed a noncommittal reply as Dean came up next to the table. “Still looking for another hunt.” 

“Yeah,” Sam sighed. “Nothing out there right now. It’s almost eerily silent.” 

Dean nodded to himself. Times like these were rare, but he enjoyed them all the same. Sometimes it was nice to enjoy the silence for a little while. Only there was one thing nagging him today, or rather not nagging him. 

“Have you talked to Alex today?” Dean continued to work the oil out from his nails beds, his tongue peeking out between his lips in concentration. 

Sam furrowed his brow as he thought, his head cocking as the realization hit him. “No actually, now that you mention it. I haven’t even heard her rummaging around in the kitchen.” 

“She was weird when she went to bed last night. Quiet.” Dean commented. 

“Alex, quiet?”

“Yeah, when she’s upset.” Dean chewed on his bottom lip. “Except I figured she would just sleep it off. She usually does.” Which was true, Alex was rarely ever in a mood and when she was, like almost every girl he had ever met, all he had to do was feed her or put her to bed. The woman was basically a gremlin but with more complex thoughts. 

“Just because we haven’t seen her doesn’t mean anything. You know how much she loves getting lost in all these books.” Sam countered. The younger Winchester ran his fingers through his long brown locks and shrugged off Dean’s obvious worry. 

“Nope.” Dean shook his head. “Alex always brings me lunch when I’m working on Baby.” 

“Dude, she is not your mother.”

“I know that, Sammy.” Dean wasn’t sure what exactly Sam was trying to insinuate. Dean loved her cooking and if she wanted to make him food, why should he deny her that. Besides, Dean always made sure she ate with him, no matter how much she would insist that she had some other thing to do. “But come on, you said it yourself. This is not like her.” 

Dean turned on his heel and hopped down the steps towards their bedrooms. He took a pit stop in the kitchen to wash his hands before continuing down the hall to room twelve. He raised a fist and rapped his knuckles against the heavy wooden door. 

“Al,” he called, squinting his eyes as he listened for a response. After a moment of no response, he gritted his teeth. “Okay, I’m coming in.” The hunter turned the knob to the door and let himself in, pushing the door in hesitantly. 

Only one of her bedside lamps was on, casting a small orange glow in the corner of the room. There was an Alex sized lump in the center of the bed where she was mostly hidden under the covers. Dean could see the glow of her phone falling over her pillows. She didn’t even stir when the door creaked. 

“Really, no sarcastic remark about entering your room?” 

The woman who had lain hiding away in her room all day, sighed and locked her phone before sitting up. The covers fell to her waist and the chill of the bunker caused a shiver to run through her. She ran her fingers through her burgundy locks in an attempt to straighten out the rat’s nest that had settled there. 

Alex rubbed her eyes, “What’s up Dean?” 

He couldn’t help the frown on his face as he took in the distance look in her eye. “Al, are you okay?” 

She looked away from his gaze, and off towards the opposite corner of the room as she pulled her knees into her chest. Dean watched her for a moment, her hands rubbing up and down her bare arms. Even in the low light of the bedroom, Dean noticed the way her eyes began to water. 

“Oh, sweetheart. Do you want to talk about it?” Dean sat down on the end of her bed, angling his body to face her. Alex shook her head, holding back the full-blown tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. “Okay, well can I just sit with you then?” 

The pair of them sat in silence before she could no longer take it. Dean had proved to her that he had no intention of leaving without getting her to talk. As much as she hated sharing the deepest secrets running around in her brain, she also knew talking some of it out would help the anxiety churning in her stomach. 

“I don’t know, Dean. I mean half the time I don’t even understand my triggers myself. I just get this… this anxiety bubble that settles in the pit of my stomach.” She gestured about with her hands. “And then my mind just tells me everything wrong with my life.” 

“Like?” 

The woman scoffed, “Oh you know the usual. You aren’t good enough, your friends only tolerate you, why do you even try.” Alex gripped her hair and tugged at the roots. “And you know what that’s not even the part that gets me. I can work around that.” 

“Then what has got you holed up in your room all day?” Dean gripped her wrist and forced her to let go of her hair. He could see her chewing on the inside of her cheek, contemplating her answer. 

“It’s just that I had gotten so used to being alone that it had become my new normal. And to be honest, I was okay with that, I had reconciled being alone forever. That’s the type of life we live as hunters.” Her voice had risen as her frustration had. Never before had she ever been this down, and it scared her more than anything. Before she could have at least pretended that she had everything under control, but now things were spiraling and she had nothing to grasp onto to keep from floating away. 

“I love you and Sam. You are my family. But being around people is draining me. You two bicker at every given opportunity and not mention are just loud men in general. Then there is Jack who is literally an infant, which you know I can not handle as I have told you multiple times I do not want kids. This place has become...like sensory overload, even on my best days. At the end of the day, I feel like I have no battery left and I can’t recharge overnight. I’ve been running on empty for too long and that has forced me to put up a mask for you two because I didn’t want to lose you. But I can’t do it anymore.” She took a shuddering breath as the tears were breaking free. “I’m just tired, Dean.”

He nodded as he absorbed everything that she was telling him. If Dean knew one thing about Alex, it was that she didn’t let people into that dark side of her. She was always the first person to be there for everyone else in their moment of need and had the tendency to downplay her own struggles if it meant that the attention was not on her. There was nothing that made her more uncomfortable than the attention on her. He had to choose his words carefully. 

“Okay, first off, I know you think that you are this pro at putting up a front to hide the person you are inside, but I hate to break it to you, you aren’t. I can see right through that facade. I see when you are hurting and when you are genuinely happy. I see when you want to cry and when you are playful. I see you sweetheart, don’t ever doubt that.”

“Second, don’t ever believe you are better off alone. Just because you had gotten used to it doesn’t mean it is what you deserve. You are a strong, beautiful, and empathetic woman. The world deserves to have you out there. I know for me and Sam, our world has never been brighter than when you came crashing into our lives, literally.” They both chuckled at his reference to her being thrown into Dean at the hunt that brought them into each other’s lives. 

“And lastly, all you had to do was tell me. Take a car from the garage and go for a drive if that’s what you need. Spend all day in here mindlessly scrolling through the internet, or dissociating while watching the office for the millionth time. And if you just need me to sit quietly with you, I’ll be there. I know you only have so much in you, but sweetheart, having even only a little of you is worth so much more than none of you.” 

“Dean-” 

“You don’t have to say anything. Take your time, we will be here when you are ready. Just come back to us, okay?” Alex nodded, the tears flowing freely now. Dean reached over and brushed away a tear with his thumb. 

“Now that we have established that, I know you haven’t eaten all day. Are you hungry?” Dean leaned forward and pressed his lips to her forehead. 

“Mmm, I guess I could eat,” she sniffled. 

“That's what I thought. But what should we have…” Dean trailed off before leaning over the edge of the bed and plucking an orange box from underneath. “How about your not-so-secret stash of cheez-its?” 

Alex’s jaw dropped, having truly thought the boys had no clue about her stash under the bed. The boys always went through a box far too fast and she never got any so now she had learned to buy her own box for safekeeping. “Dean Winchester, you give me those back!” She squealed, the infectious grin on the hunter’s face enough to lighten her heart at that moment for a genuine smile to crack on her tear-stained face. She reached out to snatch the box away from him, only for Dean to pull it out of her reach. 

“I don’t think so, we are all out in the pantry and you’ve got my favorite flavor.” 

#dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester fanfic #dean winchester comfort fic #dean winchester comfort #alex writes #and struggles #mine #I See You

[islamicrays]

A sister recently asked me this question:

"What advice do you give young mums who keep screaming at their little toddlers? Their kids are so scared of them. What can I say to help the mum stop constantly screaming at these young kids?"

Parents sometimes yell at their kids. But if a mother finds herself going from zero to a hundred in terms of her anger, shouting regularly at the kids, or notices frequent bouts of rage, there might be an issue.

My understanding is that when a mom is screaming and yelling at her kids too much, it usually is rooted in her own stresses, struggles, and problems. It's an internal problem and the screaming at the kids is the external symptom.

She is probably feeling overwhelmed, drained, exhausted, stretched too thin, confused, or some mix of these emotional states. So she herself on the inside is suffering and needs help and needs to sort out her own issues.

But if she doesn't get time or space to do this, or if she doesn't have enough self-awareness to recognize that she has feelings she herself needs to figure out, she will inadvertently take out her frustrations on her children at the smallest misbehavior. By screaming, yelling, etc.

The other possibility could also be that some moms simply don't know the effects of too much negativity on children. Raising children in a tense, loud, chaotic home environment can put great stress on young children. Unfortunately, some parents just don't know this and so they do it because it's all they've ever seen or known themselves in their own childhood. They themselves were always yelled at as little kids. So they continue the cycle of parenting via screaming and yelling, thinking that this is the normal way to parent and that there are no harms associated with it.

The way forward is different for each mother, of course, because each mother is unique and has a particular personality and specific set of circumstances. But generally, what can help is to

A) expose the mom to a better way to raise children and studies that show the link between stressful home environments and the effects on children (anxiety, clinginess, lack of initiative, etc).

And

B) the mom needs to gain a self-awareness and a recognition of her own situation and mental space, to examine her own internal dissonance and note the underlying reasons for her stress. She needs to get in touch with her feelings: does she feel overwhelmed? Tired? Lonely? In need of a longer break to recharge? Does she have weak boundaries? Is she angry at her husband? Is she resentful of her inlaws, or her parents? Does she feel bored of motherhood? Does she feel aimless in life? Does she have a strong or weak bond with her Creator?

She needs to deeply reflect on her own state internally and be honest with herself. This way, inshaAllah she can begin to process what she's going through and address it in a healthy, balanced way, instead of lashing out at innocent parties, like her baby or toddler.

Motherhood can be rough sometimes.

May Allah make it easy for all moms, ameen.

-Via Umm Khalid

#islamic quotes #islam #quote #muslim #allah #muslimah #motherhood

[failure-friendly]

How to Stop Burnout - the unexpected solution (It’s not more ‘self-care’)

I was burning out every second week, sleeping the weekends away, burdened by the guilt of letting people down when I couldn’t keep my commitments, and I was pissed off that I had zero energy for me. 

‘Enough!’ I finally snapped. With a mission to become more productive, consistent and in control - I began researching burnout. I was going to hack my way out of the vicious cycle that was stealing my confidence. 

Boundaries (saying ‘no’ to others) and self care (saying ‘yes’ to yourself). That was what the internet told me to do. I found that attempting to hold boundaries and maintain rigorous self care routines without first dealing with why you’re people pleasing yourself to death - is a recipe for even more burnout! Next.

Inconsistent vs Cyclical, that was my big discovery and the quick fix I wanted. My research led me to what every female used to be taught at the initiated of their first period. This is what I learnt: 

The moon has a 28 day cycle in which it changes from full, to half, into total blackness, and then to half again. Females also have a 28 day cycle. This is not an insignificant coincidence. Men’s hormone levels (where they get their energy) rise high in the morning and fade into the evening - just like the sun. Meaning everyday they have the same amount of energy, they’re designed to smash out workouts or work earlier in the day and switch off into the evening.

Women’s hormone levels are very different, they rise and fall according to where they are in their 28 day cycle. We need different hormones to menstruate and a very different hormone cocktail to ovulate. Like the moon, sometimes we’re full of energy and other times our light fades. We are designed to be reflective and still in the week that we bleed, then a powerhouse of energy the week we ovulate, an abundant nurturer the week after we ovulate and then more reclusive or nurtured in a premenstrual week. 

If you compare a woman's energy to a man’s it seems very inconsistent, changing rapidly from day to day. But if you zoom out you’ll see that we are extremely consistent to a rhythm of our own. When you know what’s coming and what you need in each phase of the cycle, it doesn’t have to be a rollercoaster!

The hero’s journey. This was a very important piece of the puzzle that helped solve my burnout problem. The hero’s journey is a metaphorical story used to teach the universal truth: we need to go through some shit, shitty experience that brings us face to face with our fears, that challenge us, makes us want to quit but force us to reach inside of ourselves and overcome, emerging from the darkness stronger than before, as a hero. (The premise of not only every movie you’ve ever seen but also all ancient mythology and religious teachings). 

Our culture today glorifies the easy and convenient, struggle is something to be avoided at all costs, making us unequipped to deal with difficulty. The hero’s journey normalises hard times and reminds us they are an important part of life, because on the other side of heartache there is wisdom. It’s a lesson. 

It took me a minute to embrace my cycle. I wanted to skip the slow energy side and just ‘man up’, be in that addictive fiery ovulation energy all day everyday. So of course I continued to burnout but each time I would wonder what was the lesson in the burnout. Each time I sat with the discomfort I began to uncover mind blowing, empowering truths. Such as:

Productivity is overrated. 

Without taking the time to get clear, slow down and reflect, ask why we’re doing it, what is working and not working, is there a simpler way, is it making us happy - we just make more and more of the same old boring shit. We end up creating more work for ourselves rather than results, we make silly mistakes that could have been avoided if we just cleared our heads, and we fail to notice great opportunities that are right in front of us. Action without rest is insane, it’s imbalanced, unsustainable and suicidal. Realising this illuminated to me how toxic my work environment (and mind) had become. Everyone jacked up on testosterone, trying to work harder and faster, doing more, more, more. To rest and reflect was considered lazy and not okay. It was killing us all, but especially the women whose health is jeopardized by too much testerone. It was a problem deeper than stress, the toxicity was rooted in misogyny. It’s not just women who have been labeled inferior but feminine traits like sharing emotions, nurturing safe spaces and taking time to reflect. I began to value mental clarity over busyness, I stopped trying to do everything and just excelled at what made sense. I saw and felt it working which gave me the confidence to push back whenever the ‘more, more, more’ voices started nagging. 

Consistency is boring.

When I stopped fighting my cycle and accepted that I wasn’t designed to perform consistently at the same level everyday, I realised how clever the patriarchy was. To my surprise the slow times were not wasted time at all, on the contrary! When you align your energy with what’s happening inside you, you tap into a huge power that I will struggle to put into words. If you’ve ever had a difficult mediation experience where you couldn’t slow your mental chatter, it’s like the opposite of that. It’s easy stillness, wombing, where healing and release can happen, which gives you greater cleaner energy, truths and next steps reveal themselves, and you can feel a magnetic pull from inside you making it easy to manifest what you desire. It’s a dreamy place that I’d choose over hustling and grinding any day! It may not look like much from the outside but it’s powerful, it recharges you in a way that 50 billion coffees never could. Your actions may be slower here but they are magnetised. If you really embrace the slow times you will emerge with what feels like superhuman capabilities in your ovulation week, which will more than make up for the perceived loss of productivity. It does hurt to find out you’ve been fed a lie and taught to devalue the very thing that holds your power, so that you actively disempowered yourself. But like in the hero’s journey, this hurt is the source of much healing, wisdom and empowerment. 

Control is the root of all evil. 

After a few hero’s journeys the answer was staring me in the face, the way to stop burning out and feeling like I wasn’t in control of my energy, was to surrender. It wasn’t necessarily my work, or the fact that I had a cycle that was burning me out, it was the way I kept fighting the current of my own nature, trying to control it. It takes way more energy to suppress nature than it does to go with it. 

Every time my body told me I needed rest and I refused, I was adding fuel to the fire. On top of that I spent precious energy punishing myself for not being able to keep going. Now if I feel really tired I might take a guilt free mental health day and recharge, rather than pushing through for another week making myself sick and needing to take a few days of sick leave. It wasn’t just me that I wanted to control. If things didn’t unfold the way I envisioned I burnt way more energy being frustrated and trying to force things back. When things unfold differently to what  we expect - that’s interesting. Who’s to say it’s worse and not better, who’s to say the lessons learnt through that experience aren’t more valuable than if everything went to plan. Also, that’s life, nothing goes according to plan so lamenting it or forcing it is a waste of your limited energy! It’s asking for burnout. Instead of seeking to control the uncontrollable, it’s healthier to practice belief in yourself, resilience and compassion for when the plot inevitably twits. Surrendering, especially for a recovering control freak, is easier said than done. It’s terrifying. But just as it’s a myth that rest is lazy, it’s a myth that surrender is defiet. Surrender is freedom. As you release the energy spent worrying about everything that could go wrong, you feel that energy returning to you. More focus, more clarity, more you. 

So my quest to conquer burnout didn’t go as I expected. Instead of finding more productivity, consistency and control, I found balance. By matching my very masculine perspective of action taking and goal seeking with a gentler feminine perspective of reflection and surrender I found a powerful balance. A balance that has stopped me from falling into a heap over and over again. 

Now I move like the tides now. I flow freely from high energy to slow energy, trusting my body when it tells me to rest or to run, knowing there is a reason for every season. Hallelujah. 

Practical ways to find your rhythm: 

Download a period tracking ap (Clue is my fave)

Download a full moon ap (especially if you don’t have a period, run on the full moon, rest on the new). 

Listen to the Period Queen Podcast (4 episodes, on for each phase of the cycle)

Read Goddess Wisdom by Taniska

Get less artificial light after dark, do more moon bathing. 

Spend time with mother nature (feminine energy).

Purchase Failure Friendly Action Cards to learn self belief and self compassion. 

#burnout #mindset #productivity #consistency #control #surrender #freedom #depression #anxiety #mental health #patriachy