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arlana-likes-to-write · 7 months

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For the sisters serie, how would it be for reader to adapt to normal things and living without the red room and dreykovs control, and how would Nat, yelena, carol, etc react and help? I hope you like this idea for a fic

-💣

Through Your Eyes

Family is More Than Blood

Warning: mention of past sexual assault, big talk about consent, our lovely reader learning how to be a person, guilt, anxiety, mention of past Red Room trauma

Note: These aren't in timeline order per say, just moments in the reader's life that have shaped her.

Relationship: Carol x Reader, Avenger x Reader (platonic)

Word Count: 4.4k

It shouldn’t be this hard, right? It was such a simple choice. Ice cream or fruit. Ice cream or fruit. Ugh, you were going to work yourself into a panic attack over a stupid choice. “Kid, you are letting all the cold air out,” you jumped at Tony’s voice and slammed the fridge and freezer closed.

“Sorry, I was distracted,” he raised a questioning eyebrow at you as he poured himself a cup of coffee. It was well past 5 o’clock, you had no idea how he drank that and managed to sleep. Well maybe he wasn’t sleeping, that was his secret.

“What’s on your mind?” He asked.

“Nothing, it’s stupid,” you sighed. Tony leaned back on the counter and sipped his coffee.

“Try me,” you began to pick at the skin around your thumb.

“I wanted something to eat,” you explained. “But I couldn’t decide if I wanted ice cream or strawberries. The decision almost caused me to have a panic attack.” It sounded a lot stupider when you said it out loud. He was quiet and you expected him to have left.

“You know you can have both, right?” You spun around to face him.

“Both?” You questioned in disbelief. He nodded and set his coffee down.

“Sit and watch this,” you sat down and he grabbed the per-cut fruit from the fridge and the ice cream from the freezer. He scoped a few spoonfuls of ice cream in a bowl and sprinkled a few cut-up strawberries on top. “Here,” he handed you the bowl with a spoon but you refused to take it. “What?”

“I didn’t have to have both,” you said. “What if someone wanted those strawberries or that ice cream? I didn’t need both.”

“Kid,” he placed a gentle hand on your shoulder and placed the bowl in front of you. “If we run out FRIDAY will just order more. You can have anything you want as much as you want.”

“Oh,” you whispered. There was a limit to certain things in the Red Room; food that was given, free time without the cuffs, and a break from the ballet bar. Everything good was limited. “Uh, thanks, Tony. Sorry, that was so dumb.” And a little embarrassing.

“Don’t apologize,” he smiled. “If there is something specific you want let FRIDAY know or ask me, okay?” You nodded as he cleaned up the mess he made. “Enjoy!” He left you to devour your sweet treat.

You heard giggling as you entered the kitchen after your workout with Steve. A smoothie, a cold glass of water, and a nap was calling your name. Sitting on the island were Wanda and Yelena, hunched over a laptop and that was the source of the laughter. “What’s going on you two?” You asked, grabbing a glass of water.

“Yelena is a croissant,” Wanda said smiling. You stared at the Slovakian and your sister, mouth slightly open as you tried to process what she told you.

“I’m going to pretend I understand what that meant,” Yelena giggled and turned around the computer.

“It’s an internet quiz,” your sister said. “It will ask you a few questions and you answer at the end it will give you the type of bread you are, or dog, or cartoon character.” She explained. You tilted your head.

“Why do you want to know what type of flower you are?” You questioned, scrolling on the page to see the other quizzes. “What’s the point?” You saw Yelena roll her eyes and take the computer from you.

“There isn’t a point,” Wanda said. “It’s just a fun way to pass the time.” Fun? You weren’t allowed to have fun. There was always a mission or job that needed to be done. Fun was something you weren’t allowed to have in the Red Room.

“Can I take one?” You asked Yelena smiled, nodding her head excitedly. That was where Natasha found you, sitting between Wanda and Yelena with the computer on your lap. “I am not a red panda,” you whined. The two girls laughed at you.

“According to the internet you are,” Yelena smiled, pinching your cheek. “My big krasnaya panda (red panda).” You slapped her hand away.

“I hate you,” you deadpanned.

“There you are,” Natasha said, rounding the corner to stand in front of you. “I thought we were meeting at 3.” You frowned. You were done with your workout by noon so you could shower, eat, and maybe take a nap. Natasha wanted to meet with you because there were some Widows in Central America and the Avengers wanted to see if they could do some surveillance. You looked at the clock in the corner of the laptop. It was 3:15. Shit. You looked back at your sister, her arms were crossed and she wore a smirk on her face.

“I got distracted,” you cringed.

“They got you addicted to those dumb quizzes.”

“Hey,” Yelena said. “They aren’t dumb.” She defended. Natasha rolled her eyes.

“Are we meeting or..”

“Yup,” you put the laptop on Yelena’s lap and stood up. “That was fin. See ya guys.” You followed Natasha to the conference room. “Sorry I was late,” you said to her as you sat down in the chair. “Time got away from me.” You were never late, when you needed to be somewhere you were early. If you were late there would be horrible consequences. Natasha waved you off.

“I’m just messing with you,” she smiled, handing you a folder. “Messing around and not working all the time is good for you. We all need to do it every once in a while. It reminds us why we keep fighting.”

Walking by Yelena’s room, you heard a groan from the slight crack. Frowning, you gently knocked on her door. “Go away,” she groaned again. You chuckled.

“It’s me,” you opened her door. Yelena was cocooned in the blankets on her bed. “Are you okay?” She burrowed her face in her pillow, muffling the sound she let out. “Come on, sestra,” you sat down on her bed and ran her fingers through her blonde hair. She flopped on her back, pouting.

“I don’t feel good,” you placed your hand on her forehead. She wasn’t warm. “No, it’s not that type of sickness,” she huffed out a sigh. “It’s that time of the month.” Her cheeks blushed slightly. Ah, that explained her mood the past few days. You smiled.

“What do you need?”

“Can you get my heating pad?” She asked. “I think it’s in Nat’s room.” You nodded, kissing her forehead. It was a quick trip to Natasha’s room to grab the heating pad and into the kitchen for water, a Gatorade, and some chocolate. You weren’t subjected to periods but you knew people who were and what they liked. Yelena sighed when you reentered with your arms filled with goodies. You bent down to plug in the heating pad. “Ugh, I hate having a uterus,” the off-handed comment made you freeze, subconsciously moving your hand to wear you bared the mark of the Red Room’s choice. “Shit, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.” Her panic snapped you out of the fog, turned on the heating pad, and placed it on Yelena’s stomach. You sat down and cuddled up against her.

“It’s okay,” you said and handed her the chocolate bar. She unwrapped it, picking at the bar slowly. You could tell she was still upset with herself. “Yelena, I’m serious. It’s okay. You didn’t mean any harm,” she sighed. Your sister sat up and placed her hand where she saw where you rested yours. Natasha saved Yelena before the graduation ceremony. One day she could have the choice of having children.

“Do you and Carol want kids one day?” You laughed.

“Funny enough we haven’t talked about that fair into the future,” you smiled, resting your hand on top of hers. The Red Room forced all Black Widows to be sterilized upon graduation. A child of your own was the one thing worth more than the mission. It made everything easier, with undying loyalty to the cause. “Not sure if I want kids,” you told her. “I never thought I’d be given the opportunely to have them.” Yelena nodded, moving to rest her head on your stomach.

“I think you’d be a great mom,” she mumbled, closing her eyes.

“Do you think so?” You asked. She hummed in agreement. “Thank you,” you whispered. “Get some sleep.”

‘What the hell was the noise?” You thought as you walked out to the balcony. It sounded like a cat being murdered. The source of the sound was coming from Steve, a guitar resting on his lap. You grimaced at the note that was very out of tone. "Whatcha doing?” You asked, holding the book you were going to read behind your back. The super soldier looked at you, pausing the song he was playing.

“Trying to learn how to play the guitar,” you smiled, sitting down in the empty chair next to him.

“And how’s that going?” He sighed and set the guitar on the side table between you and him.

“Well Sam was out here with me at one point so does that answer your question.” You chuckled.

“It takes some practice,” you said, leaning back in the chair and opening the book. Steve mirrored you but with a sketchbook. “You’ll get it,” you added and you both fell into a comfortable silence. But as you read your book, you kept glancing at the guitar. It had been so long since you’d felt the strings of a guitar underneath your fingers. You enjoyed every callous you earned. Sighing, you put the book down and carefully picked up the guitar. You couldn’t help the smile that formed on your face as you tuned it and began to strum. It was a weird feeling it��s been years since you felt this level of peace. Your smile grew. The world seemed much smaller when a guitar was in your hands.

“I didn’t know you could play,” you jumped, stopping mid-song. “Sorry,” Steve chuckled. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“Not, it’s fine,” you ran your hand over the body of the guitar. “I was in my own little world,” you sighed. “I haven’t played since Ohio and I didn’t realize how much I missed it.” You admitted, resting your chin on the guitar.

“I could tell. I haven’t seen you smile that big before,” you felt your body warm up. Steve closed his sketchbook and stood up. “You should keep it. You’re the best person to play it.” It took a moment for your brain to register what Steve said.

“Wait,” you stood up. Steve was already at the door. “Hold on. I can’t just keep this.” It was ridiculous, a little absurd.

“Why not?” He questioned with a tilt of his head.

“Because,” you licked your lips. “Because I’ve done nothing to deserve this.” He sadly smiled at you. Did you say something wrong?

“You know you can be given a gift without having to earn it,” that couldn’t be correct. You had to earn everything. Extra portions at dinner time. A mission success meant you could get a break. “Besides, that thing has been bouncing between everyone looking for a home,” he continued. “I think you can give it one.” You stared at the guitar in your hands.

“Thank you, Steve,” he shrugged.

“You should play for all of us,” he said. “At dinner or something.” You smiled.

“I may need some practice before I start performing shows.” He chuckled.

“Well enjoy,” he left you alone. You sat back down, guitar resting on your lap. It was bittersweet holding this instrument again. You wondered what happened to the one you had back in Ohio or any of your things? Was it confiscated by SHIELD? Or local authorities? Was it donated and now someone else was learning how to play on the very same instrument you used? Sighing, you began to play again.

“So bye, bye Miss. American Pie-”

There was something off about the day. You were just off all day, having no motivation or energy to do anything. So you called it an early night and curled up underneath the covers. A gentle knock followed by the door opening caused you to sit up. It was Carol. “Hi,” she smiled. “Mind if I join you?” You shook your head and lay back down. You heard her walk over to your closet to grab some clothes she left in your room. The bed shifted as Carol climbed in. She was quick to bring you into her arms. Sighing, you felt her lips graze against your skin. Her hands traveled underneath her shirt. Any other night you would welcome her advances and where this was going to lead but you were so tired.

So when Carol turned you over on your back and covered her body with hers, you didn’t fight her. She was your girlfriend and if she was in the mood you should just let her. It wasn’t the first time and it wouldn’t be the last.

“Hey, are you okay?” Carol asked, sitting back on her heels.

“Why-why did you stop?” You asked.

“Because I asked you a question and you didn’t answer.” Oh. You must have dissociated. “Do you not want to have sex?” No. That was the word fighting to come out of your mouth but if you said no would she still want to be with you? Would she hit you like the orders and force you anyway?

“It’s fine,” you said, placing your hands on her thighs. “You are in the mood,” you sat up and put your arms around her neck. “So you can use me.” Your girlfriend stared at you as if she was trying to figure out what you said.

“Use you?” She questioned. You nodded. “I’m not going to use you like you’re some object.” You frowned and sat back. Why wasn’t she going to have sex with you? “Baby, if you don’t want to have sex at any time you can say no.” Your eyebrows scrunched together. No? You weren’t allowed to say no.

“But-but if you want to and as your girlfriend I should let you.” Carol sighed and crossed her legs on your bed. Was she upset with you?

“You have ownership of your own body. It doesn’t matter if I want to have sex, you owe me nothing. I should have asked for consent first.”

“Consent?” You said the world slowly as it felt foreign on your tongue.

“Yeah consent,” she said. “So you know how I would ask to hug you when we weren’t officially together,” you nodded. You always wondered why she did that. “I was asking for your consent to touch you. I didn’t want to assume it was okay.”

“But it is. You can touch me.” She smiled.

“Maybe on some days you don’t want me to and you can tell me no and I’ll respect that.”

“Oh,” you whispered. “You must think I’m so stupid.” You looked down at your hands. Gently, she used her pointer finger to lift your head to look at you.

“Never. The Red Room took your and your sister’s autonomy. I will help you get that back. So,” she smiled. “What do you want to do?” You sighed, biting your tongue from telling her you wanted to have sex.

“Can we cuddle? I’m exhausted.” She nodded and climbed off the bed to help you pull back the covers. Once you were under them, she lay down next to you and put her arm around you. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” you heard the smile in her voice. “Now sleep.” And you did, safely in her arms.

“Melina-” Natasha heard the strain in your voice as she walked by your room. You were pacing; 5 steps, turn around, and another 5 steps. “I know but if you-” you were cut off again. Natasha couldn’t hear the other end of the conversation but she could tell you weren’t agreeing with whatever was being said. “Yes, mama. I will. Talk to you soon. Bye.” You hung up and stared at your phone.

“You know,” Natasha made her presence known before you threw your phone against the wall. “I don’t think your phone deserves that.” You chuckled and sat down on the edge of the bed.

“I think Stark could cough over a few bucks to get me another one,” she hummed in agreement and entered your room.

“What’s going on with you and Melina?”

“It’s nothing,” she gave you a pointed look. You sighed. “Sometimes I feel like she doesn’t listen or even try to understand my point of view on something,” you tapped your phone against your thigh. “I was cycled through the Red Room four times before you were born,” you mimicked the older Black Widow accent so well it made Natasha smile. “And I get that it must have been so hard and painful but-”

“It’s not an excuse to invalidate what you went through,” Natasha said, finding the words for you. You looked at her, nodding your head.

“Exactly,” you looked forward again. “When she finished her work with him she got out. Things just got worse,” Natasha knew this conversation was about Melina but there was a part of her that wondered if that was directed at her too.

“It’s common for daughters to fight and not see eye to eye,” Natasha witnessed Laura and Lila go toe to toe.

“Yeah but most mother-daughter relationships weren’t created by a deep undercover Red Room mission to steal information from SHIELD aka HYDRA,” you said, resting your head on her shoulder. “I’m so glad I don’t live with them anymore,” the redhead laughed. “I’m serious. I think I’d kill Alexei by now,” Natasha smiled and took your hand in hers.

“Do you hate them?” She found herself asking. “Like do you wish they were stronger to say no to him.” You were quiet. Natasha could see your eyebrows pinched together in concentration.

“I think that resentment will always be there,” you said. “I was so angry at them when we first arrived at the Red Room.”

“Really? I had no idea,” you acted like their betrayal was something you expected. You chuckled.

“That’s because I hid it from you,” of course you did. Natasha wasn’t surprised by that. “But I thought about getting my revenge on them all the time. I thought I wanted to kill them.” You admitted.

“What changed your mind?” You sighed.

“Because they weren’t the problem. They were just part of the system that was created far before their time.”

“I’m not sick,” you mumbled, fighting a sneeze that was tickling your nose. Yelena and Natasha stared at each other before rolling their eyes. “I’m serious!” You pouted, sniffling slightly.

“Oh yeah?” Natasha questioned. “How come Carol told us you didn’t sleep last night because you were up coughing?”

“Traitor,” you huffed and failed to keep a straight face as one sneeze after another escaped. You groaned, a pressure building behind your eyes.

“It’s probably just a cold,” Yelena said, jumping on the table next to you. “Helen will just give you medicine and you’ll feel better in no time,” that was the problem. You hated taking anything that you were told would ‘help’. “Maybe she’ll give you a lollipop.”

“Yelena-” Before Natasha could finish her thought the door opened but instead of Helen, a man walked in. “Bruce,” your sister said. “I wasn’t aware you were back.” He gave her a small smile.

“I got back late last night. Helen got pulled away in a meeting with Steve and Tony so she asked me to help out,” he turned his attention to you. “You must be Y/n, I’ve heard a lot about you. I’m Bruce,” he approached you with his hand extended to you but you refused to take it, frozen in your spot. Could they hear your heart beating? “Would you be more comfortable with Dr. Cho?” He asked. His question snapped you out of the trance you were in.

“No,” you said. “Let’s just get this over with.”

“I’ll let you know everything I’m about to do before I do it, okay?” He could sense your hesitation. A small nod was all the consent you could give and the exam began. He listened to your lungs, asking you to breathe in and out, and took your temperature. You tried to get your body to relax but it wouldn’t. It was tense with tension every time Bruce touched you. His touch was gentle, a little hesitant but you were waiting for the shoe to drop. Soon his hands would leave bruises, would grab you, and force you down. “Looks like you have a small upper respiratory infection,” he said. “Which is odd since you were given the serum, right?” You didn’t respond “Are you under more stress or training harder?”

“I don’t think our sister knows how to relax,” Yelena mumbled and glared at her. Bruce smiled.

“Well I recommend some rest and I’ll prescribe you an antibiotic,” he wrote all this down on his tablet. “I don’t want to interfere too much but the medicine should remind the serum to do its job. Take it easy for the next few days.”

“Thanks, Bruce,” Natasha said for you. You forced a smile as the doctor left. “Want to talk about what just happened?” You sighed but a violent coughing attack ripped through you. Natasha grimaced and walked over to you, rubbing your back to soothe the cough.

“I think I’m sick,” you mumbled. Yelena laughed.

“Yeah no shit but listen to what Bruce said and you’ll be better in no time,” So, that was the problem. You refused to take the antibiotics and decided to try to sweat the infection. That was where Bruce found you, holding onto a punching bag as a violent cough left you breathless.

“Your sisters told me I could find you here,” you tensed up at the sound of his voice. Another cough caused you to sway on your feet and Bruce reached out to steady you, this time you didn’t hide your flinch. Immediately, he pulled back his hands. You slumped against the wall, rubbing your chest to ease the pain. It helped. “Do you want me to get Helen or someone you’re comfortable with?” You shook your head.

“I’m fine,” you took a sip from your water bottle. “It’s not you, it’s me.” He stared at you.

“That was the most cliche line you could have said,” he deadpanned but it made you smile. You lowered yourself onto the ground and tried to collect your thoughts. But Bruce was patient and didn’t rush you to speak. Instead, he sat down in front of you with enough space to not make you feel trapped.

“In the Red Room, we were given pills and we were to take them without question mostly by male doctors,” you explained. There was still fear whenever Helen or Melina gave you medication but it helped they were females. “Sometimes it did help, the pain or sickness went away but other times,” you dug your nails into your hand. “Other times we would black out and wake up to a man on top of us.” You swore you saw a flash of green appear on his neck but the doctor covered it up with a cough. “So it’s me, not you.” It was his turn to be quiet and analyze the information you told him.

“Natasha almost broke my arm when I tried to patch her up after a mission,” you chuckled, that sounded about right. “She wouldn’t let Yelena see me alone. I can’t begin to understand what you and your sisters went through,” he sadly said. “But I’m not going to force you to be around me. It’s a trust I’m willing to earn, on your terms, and however long it takes.”

“Thank-thank you, Dr. Banner,” he smiled and stood up.

“I’ll have Helen set up another examination,” he said. “She may prescribe you a different and stronger antibiotic,” you bite back a groan, it was your fault anyway. “Get some rest or I’ll have FRIDAY ban you from the training room. Doctor’s orders.” He joked.

“Aye, aye captain,” you gave him a mock solute. He chuckled and left you alone. With a sigh, you rested your head on the wall. The serum helped you avoid sickness and long-lasting injuries but it was a water-down version unlike what they gave to Steve and the Winter Solider. So some of the bruises and injuries from their hands would last a little longer. It was another way for all the Widows to be under their control. But you were free and safe from them and Helen and Bruce were trying to help. They wouldn’t hurt you. You kept repeating it over and over again until you believed it.

It was a foreign feeling as you sat on a blanket near the pound of the Avenger’s compound. Feet bear and resting on the grass. Your fingers strummed on the guitar and hummed along to the song you were playing. Peace. That was the state of mind you were feeling. It was overwhelming. It was strange. But nice. You heard footsteps approaching, but the sound didn’t stop you from playing. You felt the warm hands of your girlfriend resting on your shoulders. She squeezed them. “How are you, baby?” You smiled, looking over your shoulder.

“Good, I’m happy which is odd.” She chuckled.

“Odd? Why is it odd?” You shrugged.

“Never thought I would be happy,” she kissed the top of your head.

“You deserve all of this and more,” she promised. “Now come on, teach me how to play.” You laughed and handed her the guitar. You stood up on your knees and maneuvered her hands on the guitar. As you were explaining the different notes and chords, she was staring at you instead of the guitar.

“What are you looking at?” You giggled.

“Just the most beautiful person in the entire world,” you rolled your eyes and fought the smile that spread across your face.

“Flattery will get you nowhere Captain. Now focus.”

“Yes ma’am,” she teased and began to listen to what you were teaching her. You smiled as she played the cords with some hesitation. This was your life, your beautiful life.

Also, while writing these stories. I don't think I've written Carol asking the reader to be her girlfriend. May write a quick drabble about that.

#family is more than blood au #black widow sisters #carol danvers x reader #carol danvers x you #carol danvers x y/n #yelena belova x natasha romanoff x reader #tony stark x reader #steve rogers x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #yelena belova x reader #wanda maximoff x reader #bruce banner x reader #avengers x reader #avengers x you #black widow one shot #black widow imagine #black widow fanfiction

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