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tenpintsofsundrop · 10 months

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What would Dick Grayson be like in bed? (Titans Kink Headcanons)

A/N: So originally I was going to publish all of these for all of the characters in one long post, but I got tired/creatively stalled out about halfway through, and it's just been sitting in my drafts unfinished for weeks now. So I have decided to post them for the characters one at a time so that way I can catch up on them and have the energy to complete them really well. The reader is meant to be completely gender neutral, and I don't really know how to put warnings on this, because there is mentions of kinky topics throughout, but it's basically just a list of kinks? Like, the content itself is like a warnings list for a fic. Main warnings are for kinky topics, Daddy kink, and discussions of BDSM.

DC Titans Masterlist

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So... one of those things that is totally obvious to me from the source material is that Dick Grayson is Daddy.

Not just when it comes to Daddy kink (although he definitely does enjoy being called Daddy for sexual gratification). He is the living embodiment of the title of Daddy. And tbh, I think he would love being called Daddy in a non-sexual context - which might sound weird if you've never been in that kind of relationship before. But when you try it out with him, you would probably love it.

It's something he would find comforting. You calling him Daddy in completely non-sexual contexts when you have no sexual intent behind it - it would make him feel good because it brings the joy of having a long term partner who feels comfortable calling him that. And he would definitely also love the casual dominance of it. He would love feeling owned by you because he gets to wear that title 24/7.

But he would be likely to say that it's something the two of you can only do in private - like in text messages or when nobody else is around to hear it, because he holds the title very sacred and he doesn't want others to mock him for it, because it is like a safe space for him. Even if he would 'laugh off' any mockery of it, he would feel hurt deep down inside.

But anyway, speaking of casual dominance - it's something he is obsessed with. I think he loves BDSM as a lifestyle, and for him, when he has a partner, it definitely doesn't stop in the bedroom - he loves setting lifestyle rules for you as a way of taking care of you.

He will set rules about when you eat (to make sure you never miss a meal), what you eat - he wouldn't ban you from eating junk food, but he would limit your intake of sugar and make it mandatory for you to eat a certain amount of healthy foods, and if you have a bad habit of consuming too much caffeine or soda, he is sure as hell gonna use sexual punishments to curb it.

His goal with casual dominance and the rules he makes will always be to take care of you and improve your quality of life - including your physical health and your mental health.

Is he always dominant?

I think that he vastly prefers being dominant because he is a control freak who hates giving up any kind of control, and funnelling those feelings into a BDSM relationship can keep him from exerting his intense need for control in other areas of life - like having emotional fits when other people don't do what he wants and violently beating up criminals. And on very rare occasions, when he is with someone he knows very well and trusts, he will play the submissive role. But I don't think he would ever be a submissive in a long term relationship.

If his sub misbehaves, I think he would avoid using pain as a punishment. I genuinely think he wouldn't be into spanking or any other type of painplay, because at the end of the day - even if he's strict about rules, it really makes his soul ache to hurt you.

One of his favourite punishments is overstimulation. He loves giving oral simply for the fact that he loves overstimulating you with his tongue for hours, and he loves vibrators and even fuck machines for the same reason.

He would use attention denial or ignoring you as a punishment - denying you of affection, or going as far as to ignore you completely if you want to talk to him at all (unless it's an emergency, of course).

He would also use this punishment in combination with overstimulation - setting you up with a vibrator pinned between your thighs and leaving you alone until you're whining and desperate, begging for his attention and ready to apologize for whatever rule you have broken.

I can also see him being into semi-public sex. He would be the type of dom to enjoy putting a remote control vibrator in your underwear just to push the button and watch you squirm at the most inconvenient times. He would also love taking you out to dinner somewhere nice and teasing you under the table, living to see you squirm and become desperate for him.

He would love any kind of bondage - tying you up in different complex ways, blindfolds, gags, all of those kinky things. As long as it doesn't hurt you, he would love seeing you vulnerable and wanting - he would love seeing rope against your skin. (And he would absolutely have the patience and intellect to learn complex shibari just to tie you up.)

And lastly (one that is obvious to me from the show) - Dick has a breeding kink.

He wants to be a father so badly, even if it's unconscious for him - it would come out when he feels you squeezing around his cock. And whether you can get pregnant or not (and whether you want kids or not), he would be obsessed with roleplaying the act of knocking you up. He would be obsessed with seeing his cum leak out of you, and telling you how he's gonna knock you up while he's deep inside of you. The first time you tell him to ditch the condom while having sex, it drives him insane, and it's the best sex of both your lives.

(A/N: I think that's a good round-up of all my headcanons for him lmao.)

#sundrop writes #dick grayson #dick grayson x reader #dick grayson headcanons #titans!dick grayson #dc titans #titans #dc titans fanfiction #dc titans x reader #dc fanfiction

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helpimhyperfixating · 2 years

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Jealousy - Jotaro x Reader

This is an old draft I found and I actually really like it so I decided to post it :3

It’s a little unfinished but not distractingly so(I hope ^^)

Word Count: 1633

Sitting at the table, you were eating dinner with your boyfriend. Silence and casual conversation being swapped between the two of you until you remembered something, opening your mouth to talk.

“Recently one of my friends he... I dunno, I get the feeling he’s flirting with me? But he knows I’m not single.”

“Oh?” Jotaro questioned, raising an eyebrow. There was a hidden dangerous tone in his voice but you were too busy picking at your food to notice.

“I don’t know.” You sighed. “I’m afraid I’m picking up the signs wrong and jumping to a conclusion.”

“Y/N, do you have any idea how long it took for you to realise I was flirting with you? If even you are picking up signs, that means they’re definitely there.” Jotaro remarked dryly and you playfully gasped, reaching over the table to punch his shoulder.

“And what exactly do you mean by that, mister?” You gave him a playful warning look.

“That you’re dense.”

That earned him another slap, making the man chuckle before he caught your wrists when you went in for another, pulling you around the table and towards himself. You yelped as you fell sideways, your head now on his lap as he looked down at you, still holding your wrists captive with a smirk.

“You better accept it, cause nothing I do can change it.” Jotaro said and you struggled to once again attack him and defend your dignity, sitting up to try and do something with your elbow, but Jotaro was quicker, pulling your body against his own and pinning you to it with his free arm.

Your eyes were wide, not having expected him to act so quickly; all the while he had an eyebrow raised as he looked down at you, your chin stuck to his chest as you looked up at him.

“Parlay?” You asked with a pleading smile and Jotaro rolled his eyes before pecking your nose.

“Just shut up and eat.”

- - - -

“Sasha, I will fight you.” You threatened, only for Sasha to just simply burst out laughing, giving you a slight push and run away while you were busy stumbling. “Oi!” Your laughter rang through the air as you steadied yourself on your feet and went in pursuit.

“Your threats don’t work if you’re that slow!” Sasha mocked, pushing you to run faster with all intent to tackle her to the floor.

The two of you really were just large children, usually having the mom of your group around to keep you in check, but today she was staying back in the library, leaving you and Sasha to just nearly murder each other and cause mayhem.

“Sasha!!” You called out, playing ring around the rosie with her around the tree on college campus.

She giggled like a maniac before sprinting away while you were on the other side, making you curse as you stumbled to chase her.

She was running towards the exit of campus grounds where a large body of students was trying to do the same and you sprinted even faster, for, if she managed to reach there, she would slip away and win today. No way were you gonna let that happen.

Running your heart out, you reached your hand out to grab her, only for someone to suddenly stick out their arm, catching you around your waist and abruptly stopping your momentum, catching you as you let out an ‘Oof’.

The two of you spun once thanks to the speed you had been going at, but you were quick to grab their arm, yelling at Sasha to “get back here!” Said woman turning around and laughing at you, having stopped running while you were squirming to get out of the hold you were in.

Finally looking to your right, you came face to face with the last member of your friend group. “Lars, lemme go, I gotta get her back!” You yelled as you pulled on his arm around your waist, trying to get him to let you go while Sasha was laughing at you and pulled her eyelid down while she stuck out her tongue.

“And let you fall on your pretty face as you tackle her? I don’t think so.” Lars smiled down at you and you simply put your hand in his face and pushed it back.

“Shove off, you creep.” You laughed lightly while he tilted his head away from your grip with a chuckle of his own. As you brought your hand back down, Lars tightened his arms around your waist, holding you a little closer.

Now, you weren’t averse to physical contact or affection with your friends, not at all. But this was a bit too close, making you a little uncomfortable; mainly because of your suspicions about him recently. “Uh, Lars, I’m calm now, you can let go.” You cleared your throat with an awkward smile as you patted his arm.

“But what if I want to hold you?” He questioned with a pout but you squirmed slightly.

“No, please let go.”

“Aw, but-“

“Hey, what’s with this crowd?!”

Sasha was a godsend as she ran up, grabbing your hand and sending you a look as she pulled you with her out of Lars’ hold, rushing to the gates where there indeed was a small crowd gathered.

Lars followed after the two of you but you were already too engrossed about what was going on to garner such an interest.

The crowd seemed to be mostly female, in fact, it was nearly all female. And the answer to your question soon came as you rounded the crowd and got a good look of what had their attention. Or rather- who.

Standing there, leaning against his motorcycle and clad in tight black leather riding gear, stood your boyfriend. His helmet was off and resting behind him on the seat, his arms crossed over his chest and his head down as he seemingly waited with eyes closed. However, the moment you took another step forward, he raised his head and locked eyes with you.

Despite how often you had seen him like this, it never failed to make you blush cause damn, he looked so good.

You were nearly drooling but your surprised stupor at suddenly seeing him waiting for you like this was broken when Sasha wrenched her hand from yours and instead placed her hands on your back, forcefully shoving you forward and towards Jotaro with an evil grin.

You stumbled and nearly face planted right into his stomach if it wasn’t for his quick reaction to grab your shoulders and catch you.

Your face was aflame with a blush as he helped you get back on your feet properly, doing everything you could to not look into his eyes.

He had stood up the moment he locked eyes with you and now his arm suddenly curled around your hip, abruptly pulling you forward and in such a way that your stomach was pressed against his.

His left hand came up, placing one finger under your chin as he used it to bring your face closer to his, forcing you almost to make eye contact. “Hi.” He smirked down at you and you felt your heart just give up on keeping a regular rhythm.

“H-Hi.” You squeaked out. His face was just so close and you didn’t know what to do, just stuck in his hold as he held you in front of the entire crowd of students. You were always convinced he hated pda, so what was this?!

While you were inwardly freaking out, Jotaro glanced at something behind you very briefly before tilting your chin up even further and leaning down, abruptly pressing his lips to yours.

Your brain completely shortcutted at that moment, autopilot going on to kiss back while your hands gripped tight onto the leather jacket snugly fitting his torso.

You felt his hand leave your chin but were too flustered and trying to focus on keeping it together to even notice.

Unbeknownst to you, Jotaro opened his eyes as he kissed you, looking past your head and locking eyes with Lars as he raised his left hand towards him and stuck up his middle finger, flipping the dude off as he deepened the kiss, focusing back on you but never lowering his hand.

Sasha laughed loudly at this. She knew Lars had been making moves. She had been trying herself to dissuade him from doing so or ‘saving’ you during moments like the one before, but he didn’t stop, even having told her (it felt more like a threat) to keep it to herself. But it seemed like she didn’t even need to, Jotaro had figured it out himself somehow and clearly decided it wouldn’t stand.

Lars had a red hue to his cheeks in embarrassment, his jaw clenching while the whole crowd of students looked at him, wondering who the handsome man was flipping off and why.

As Jotaro broke the kiss, he hummed quietly, content, before leaning back and popping up the backseat of his motorcycle, grabbing the helmet he always kept in there for you and shoving it on your head while you were still dazed.

That seemed to snap you out of it and you let out a distressed noise, crouching down and shoving your hands onto the closed visor as you let out a muffled squeal.

The people around could almost see the blush appearing over the helmet as you were crouched on the floor.

You loved that man and had no problem showing some pda, but he couldn’t spring something like that on you out of nowhere!!

“Hey.” Your body was prodded by the tip of a shoe and you let out a groan. “Get up, it’s time to go, c’mon.”

#jotaro x reader #jotaro kujo #jjba #jojo's bizarrre adventure #jotaro kujo x reader #jotaro kujo x you #jotaro x you #jotaro x y/n #jojo no kimyō na bōken

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atopvisenyashill · 2 months

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dany and rhaenyra really couldn't be more different considering dany grew up in abject poverty and rhaenyra was constantly shielded by her status and name. for dany, her name was a death sentence, so they exist in totally different frameworks of what being a “targaryen” even means. it’s this vast difference in upbringing that informs how they rule as well with daenerys giving a lot of attention to how her actions/rule affect the oppressed while rhaenyra doesn’t particularly care about the common people at all!

I'm gonna do what we do at work which is start this out with a lil ground rules corporate talk thing: We assume positive intent as a starting place. I'm taking this in good faith and I hope if anon sees this, they take it the same.

So the first point - that because dany grows up in poverty due to being a targaryen and rhaenyra grows up in privilege due to being a targaryen, that means they are too different and thus can't be compared. Firstly, I think it's just a bit silly when people say stuff like this. Sansa's sexual abuse and isolation at KL isn't somehow less traumatizing simply because she had access to food (food she frequently doesn't eat, because she's traumatized over all the sexual abuse!) nor is Arya's physical abuse in the Riverlands somehow less purely because she had a handful of friends. Catelyn having a husband that loves and respects her doesn't mean that there are not similarities in her raging against the system that has turned on her with Cersei's own rage against the system. There need not be a one to one similarity in order for us to find commonalities in themes and I think this constant "you can't compare those two" just stinks of ~oppression olympics~ but oppression just doesn't work like a checklist and if you experience the required threshold of terror, you "get" to call yourself oppressed in some way.

Moving on, the thing is, both of them experience the emotional and sexual incestuous grooming from an older relative that goes with being a Targaryen:

He pushed back her shoulders with his hands. “Let them see that you have a woman’s shape now.” His fingers brushed lightly over her budding breasts and tightened on a nipple. “You will not fail me tonight. If you do, it will go hard for you. You don’t want to wake the dragon, do you?” His fingers twisted her, the pinch cruelly hard through the rough fabric of her tunic. “Do you?” he repeated.

Daemon spent long hours in her company, enthralling her with tales of his journeys and battles. He gave her pearls and silks and books and a jade tiara said once to have belonged to the Empress of Leng, read poems to her, dined with her, hawked with her, sailed with her, entertained her by making mock of the greens at court, the “lickspittles” fawning over Queen Alicent and her children. He praised her beauty, declaring her to be the fairest maid in all the Seven Kingdoms. Uncle and niece began to fly together almost daily, racing Syrax against Caraxes to Dragonstone and back...Eustace, the less salacious of the two, writes that Prince Daemon seduced his niece the princess and claimed her maidenhood...The whole tale soon came out, in no small part thanks to Mushroom himself. King Viserys at first refused to believe a word of it, until Prince Daemon confirmed the tale was true. “Give the girl to me to wife,” he purportedly told his brother. “Who else would take her now?”

both of them also experience a much older sworn sword preying on their youth and fondness for him-

"What did she look like, your Lady Lynesse?" Ser Jorah smiled sadly. "Why, she looked a bit like you, Daenerys." He bowed low. "Sleep well, my queen." Dany shivered, and pulled the lionskin tight about her. She looked like me. It explained much that she had not truly understood. He wants me, she realized. He loves me as he loved her, not as a knight loves his queen but as a man loves a woman. She tried to imagine herself in Ser Jorah's arms, kissing him, pleasuring him, letting him enter her. It was no good. When she closed her eyes, his face kept changing into Drogo's.

Though many lords and knights sought her favor, the princess had eyes only for Ser Criston Cole, the young champion of the Kingsguard and her constant companion. “Ser Criston protects the princess from her enemies, but who protects the princess from Ser Criston?” Queen Alicent asked one day at court... However it happened, whether the princess scorned the knight or he her, from that day forward the love that Ser Criston Cole had formerly borne for Rhaenyra Targaryen turned to loathing and disdain, and the man who had hitherto been the princess’s constant companion and champion became the most bitter of her foes.

they are both forced into marriages they don’t want to be in-

Dany looked at Khal Drogo. His face was hard and cruel, his eyes as cold and dark as onyx. Her brother hurt her sometimes, when she woke the dragon, but he did not frighten her the way this man frightened her. “I don’t want to be his queen,” she heard herself say in a small, thin voice. “Please, please, Viserys, I don’t want to, I want to go home.”

"No." On her terrace, in her bathing pool, the little fish would nibble at her legs as she soaked. Even they kissed with more fervor than Hizdahr zo Loraq. "I do not love you."

And though His Grace reasoned with her, pleaded with her, shouted at her, and called her an ungrateful daughter, no words of his could budge her…until the king brought up the question of succession. What a king had done, a king could undo, Viserys pointed out. She would wed as he commanded, or he would make her half-brother Aegon his heir in place of her. At this the princess’s will gave way. Septon Eustace says she fell at her father’s knees and begged for his forgiveness, Mushroom that she spat in her father’s face, but both agree that in the end she consented to be married.

and start conflating violence, power, and safety in their minds-

The princess was not slow in answering this charge. She dispatched Prince Daemon to seize Ser Vaemond, had his head removed, and fed his carcass to her dragon, Syrax.

“He would make a monster of me,” she whispered, “a butcher queen.” But then she thought of Drogon far away, and the dragons in the pit. There is blood on my hands too, and on my heart. We are not so different, Daario and I. We are both monsters.

you say for dany her name is a death sentence, but for rhaenyra, being a targaryen is also a death sentence! not to "they very much killed jesus" you here, but they very much kill rhaenyra! if rhaenyra remains a “good targaryen” she is acutely aware she will lose everything, and this is something dany is aware of as well, it's why she reacts so badly to daario's "queens have no purpose but to warm some king’s bed and pop out sons for him" comment about her marriage to Hizdahr. rhaenyra's mother and both grandmothers die before they’re 25 of childbirth. rhaenyra grew up in the same court gael did, that saera did, that viserra did, likely knew the truth of what happened to each girl, and as a woman who is concealing her bastards, all of that has to terrify her. so she stays the “bad woman” the tyrant, the whore, the visenya, in an attempt to protect her children and that gets her killed. being a targaryen has devastating effects on both of them.

as for the differences in how they rule - i’m gonna be honest and say does it matter how they feel if the result is the same?

when they first come into true power, both women are more concerned with getting revenge than they are for settling the unrest-

“How many?” one old woman had asked, sobbing. “How many must you have to spare us?” “One hundred and sixty-three,” she answered. She had them nailed to wooden posts around the plaza, each man pointing at the next. The anger was fierce and hot inside her when she gave the command; it made her feel like an avenging dragon.

...whilst at the Red Keep Queen Rhaenyra Targaryen set about rewarding her friends and inflicting savage punishments on those who had served her half-brother...Henceforth, Celtigar decreed, traitors, rebels, and murderers would be beheaded within the Dragonpit, and their corpses fed to the queen’s dragons. All were welcome to bear witness to the fate that awaited evil men, but each must pay three pennies at the gates to be admitted.

both of them compromise on a stance that is integral to their whole platform-

Dany was shocked. “They want to be slaves?” “The ones who come are well spoken and gently born, sweet queen. Such slaves are prized. In the Free Cities they will be tutors, scribes, bed slaves, even healers and priests. They will sleep in soft beds, eat rich foods, and dwell in manses. Here they have lost all, and live in fear and squalor.” “I see.” Perhaps it was not so shocking, if these tales of Astapor were true. Dany thought a moment. “Any man who wishes to sell himself into slavery may do so. Or woman.” She raised a hand. “But they may not sell their children, nor a man his wife.” “In Astapor the city took a tenth part of the price, each time a slave changed hands,” Missandei told her. “We’ll do the same,” Dany decided. Wars were won with gold as much as swords. “A tenth part. In gold or silver coin, or ivory. Meereen has no need of saffron, cloves, or zorse hides.”

But the Queen’s Hand argued against this, for both girls had younger brothers. Rhaenyra’s own claim to the Iron Throne was a special case, the Sea Snake insisted; her father had named her as his heir. Lords Rosby and Stokeworth had done no such thing. Disinheriting their sons in favor of their daughters would overturn centuries of law and precedent, and call into question the rights of scores of other lords throughout Westeros whose own claims might be seen as inferior to those of elder sisters. It was fear of losing the support of such lords, Munkun asserts in True Telling, that led the queen to decide in favor of Lord Corlys rather than Prince Daemon.

both of them act vindictively and violently towards a low born woman in conjunction with stupid behavior from the violent men they’ve been groomed into loving-

Forgive me, sun of my life, she thought. Forgive me for all I have done and all I must do. I paid the price, my star, but it was too high, too high… “I thank you, Mirri Maz Duur,” she said, “for the lessons you have taught me.” “You will not hear me scream,” Mirri responded as the oil dripped from her hair and soaked her clothing. “I will,” Dany said, “but it is not your screams I want, only your life. I remember what you told me. Only death can pay for life.”

In a voice as cold as ice, she commanded Ser Luthor Largent to take twenty gold cloaks to the Dragonpit and arrest Ser Addam Velaryon. “Question him sharply, and we will learn if he is true or false, beyond a doubt.” As to the girl Nettles, “She is a common thing, with the stink of sorcery upon her,” the queen declared. “My prince would ne’er lay with such a low creature. You need only look at her to know she has no drop of dragon’s blood in her. It was with spells that she bound a dragon to her, and she has done the same with my lord husband.”

and I do think there is some similarity in the way that Dany sacks Astapor and it turns into a nightmareish ruin, and Rhaenyra lets KL fall into ruin as well.

you say rhaenyra doesn’t care about the common people but we don’t get her thoughts nor do we get the thoughts of a single person who is willing to tell the truth about her. both of our reliable sources hate her and mushroom is actively concealing things. we know dany cares about the smallfolk because we get her horror over drogon killing a child - only for her to forget that child’s name and decide the cost of her war doesn’t matter so much as taking her throne. this is the exact same moral justification rhaenyra is making - the safety of the people of KL are an acceptable compromise for her own throne.

what both of them want is less about the crown and more about what it represents to them. for dany, it’s home, belonging, love, safety, the simplicity of her life when it was just her, a viserys who had yet to lose his mind, and an aging ser willem darry. for rhaenyra, it’s the exact same - the simplicity of her life before aegon was born & her mother died, the love in her father choosing her over the men around him, the safety of her children. Both of them reach for violence to achieve those ends because they’ve been taught through a life of violence - albeit different sorts of violence - that force is the only way to protect yourself. And since Rhaenyra ultimately fails in her goal, I believe Daenerys will fail as well. Whether she’s smart enough to pull a Nettles and disappear (disappear not spread more violence ~liberating~ places that are not asking for her help or cultural arrogance) or if she, like Rhaenyra, will find that when she’s reached her limit, when she’s finally and truly lost, the door she thought she left open to escape through has been slammed shut behind her-

But it was not the plains Dany saw then. It was King's Landing and the great Red Keep that Aegon the Conqueror had built. It was Dragonstone where she had been born. In her mind's eye they burned with a thousand lights, a fire blazing in every window. In her mind's eye, all the doors were red.

#also i am being serious thanks for not being an asshole or talking down to me anon i appreciate it. we can disagree without being jerks!#anti daenerys targaryen #anti rhaenyra targaryen #asks #anons #rani attempts meta #also i’m tagging this with anti tags but if anyone starts shitting on either of them in the notes i’m deleting your comment #once again i’m not talking about bs fandom wars i’m talking about The Themes & the way violence shapes & breaks these two women.#so if people are tacky i will be upset. like if people started joking about cersei or alicent's rape. i'm talking about a sad thing here #trust i am not being facetious or saying i think they're evil. they're set up to fail but they both prove that in failing #they are in fact the dragon's heir. capable of everything the men around them are. whether those men like it or not.

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issie-https · 1 year

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Valentine

Izzy Stradlin X Reader

A/n: First one shot!! Hope y’all enjoy! Also, I’m so excited to see 5sos later this year which is why I chose this song❤️ We’re also gonna pretend it existed in the 80s. Link to the song is above❤️

Word count: 800

Warnings: Fluffy Izzy🫣🤭

Main masterlist

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“Jeff? Where is my red dress?” I shouted to my roommate. I was meant to be getting ready for a date with a guy Axl had set me up with but, for some reason, my dress I had bought was missing. “It’s not in your closet?” He replied with a smirk evident in his voice. “Obviously not, dummy,” I rolled my eyes. “Well I guess you can’t go on that date then,” he said, coming into my room with a grin on his face. “Jeff, please. It’s not important to me but to Ax,” I whined. “How many times have I told you you don’t have to please him. Just stay home with me, we can watch cheesy movies, eat shit food that will shorten our lifespan and cuddle. Please,” he asked, looking me in the eyes. “Jeffery Dean Isbell, give me that damn dress,” I gritted my teeth at him. Yes, he’s putting up a good offer but he’s also pissing me off. “Nope, if you can find it, you can have it,” He smirked. I rolled my eyes, looked at him and made a beeline for his bedroom on the other side of the house. Just as I was about to reach the door, he caught me and slung me over his shoulder. “JEFF! PUT ME DOWN!” I shouted. “No,” he simply replied. That really is his favourite word. He carried me downstairs to the coat and shoe cupboard and shoved me in there. “You can stay locked into there until you agree to stay home with me,” he insisted. “Izz, this is imprisonment. ITS ILLEGAL!” I screamed the last bit, pounding on the door. “Do I look like I care?” He stated. “I don’t know. There’s a door in the way of your face,” I retorted. “And it’s going to stay that way and locked until your little lover boy arrives here and I tell him you’re not home. Or, you can tell him to not bother coming because you’ve changed your mind,” he rambled. “Get me the damn phone then,” I gave in.

I called my date and told him that I’m not very well and he should find someone else to take out, satisfying Izzy. “Happy, Cupid?” I sneered. “More than happy, Santa Claus,” he laughed. “How am I Santa?” I protested. “Look in the mirror,” he said. I stood up, looked at my reflection and say that I had a milk moustache and the cookie in my hand just added to it. “Oh,” I laughed, sitting back down on the sofa. We had a record playing in the back while we were playing poker -our only bets being food and truths - so far, I had won 2 rounds and Izzy had won 5. Not that I’m bad at poker!

Just as we were about to deal the cards for the next round, my favourite song on the record came on. “I love this song!” I exclaimed, jumping up from the sofa and started dancing around the living room. I spun around, jumped about and walked back over to Izzy. “Dance with me,” I said, holding my hand out to him. “No,” he simply replied. “Too bad, because I wasn’t asking,” I said, yanking him up off the sofa. I resumed dancing around and he just stared at me. I could feel his eyes watching me. “What?” I questioned. “You’re adorable,” he replied, walking over to me. He turned me to face him, placed his arms around my waist and I put my arms around his neck while we danced around together. “Jump,” he blurted. “What?” I said, confused. “Jump, I wanna hold you,” he stated simply. I jumped up and he put his arms just under my ass, holding me safely. He started spinning us around and jumping about, slightly mocking me. “Careful, you’re gonna drop me!” I laughed. “You’ll be fine,” he laughed back. I looked into his eyes and he stood still, looking back into my eyes. We both leaned in, our lips joining in a needy, passionate kiss. We both pulled away, being starved for air. “We just kissed,” I confirmed. “That we did. There’s a reason I didn’t want you to go on that date tonight, Y/n,” he said. “Because you want to kidnap me and murder me?” I joked. “Don’t be a mood killer, you little shit. But no, I wanted to ask you something,” he said. “Okay, ask away,” I smiled at him. “Will you be my girlfriend?” He asked, like it was the last thing he’d get to say. “I- Yes, I’ll be your girlfriend, you weirdo,” I smiled. We kissed again, and again, and again. “God, I’ve waited for this,” he smiled against my lips, carrying me over to the sofa. “Me too,” I replied.

#izzy gnr #izzy stradlin imagine #izzy stradlin #guns n roses #slash gnr #axl gnr #steven gnr #duff gnr #gnr #Spotify

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thatonebirdwrites · 4 months

Text

Holy shit was this chapter hard to write. So many moving pieces. Also, upping the stakes appropriately.

I feel bad for what I'm putting Lena through. She's gonna need so many cuddles from Kara after all this.

____

EXCERPT:

Lena pictures boxes. Or Crystals. Objects to contain emotions and energy. Except even boxes that hold energy — potential wells as they are called in quantum mechanics — fail to contain. Particles still leak through the barriers, that quantum tunneling effect, which means energy too leaks out. Matter and energy are sides of the same coin really.

These are facts Lena knows by heart. One of her degrees dealt with quantum mechanics, specifically quantum computing.

Yet knowing facts does not stop the problem that she currently leaks energy. Her so-called ‘magic’ tunneling out of her boxes. It rattles windows, shakes the ground, and Lena needs control.

It doesn’t help that her Uncail Fionn stands in front of her, the memory of his binding seared back into her brain. It’s taking most of her concentration to not lash out further at him. “I need you,” she points to him, “to make a list of what we need for this expedition. We must reach the forge before the full moon tonight. Understood?”

The tables rock back and forth around them, which makes her words perhaps a bit more ominous than she meant.

Fionn nods. “Not much but food and hiking gear needed.”

She can see the fear in his tight expression, the way he has his own magic curling around his hand. Narrowing her eyes, she takes a step closer. He jerks backward. “If you dare to use magic on me again, Uncail Fionn,” she spits out his name, “I will make you regret it, understand?”

Her fury knocks over the nearby table and one of the windows cracks.

Fionn nods, his hand clenches into a fist, and his silver magic fades. “Don’t eat the head off me,” he says, a shake in his voice. “I’m agreeing to help. I want to make sure yuh survive this, okay?”

Lena smiles humorlessly. “I’m simply making sure we have an understanding.”

Fionn lets out a heavy sigh. “Control, Lena. To find the forge, yuh need control.”

How absolutely infuriating. She knows that. But looking at Fionn has her anger flaring with a vengeance, which in turn somehow impacts her energy and that causes damage to the environment. All around them, the tables and chairs are knocked over and there are hairline cracks in the windows. If this is part of the gift the Morrigan gave her, it is incredibly unsettling, but Lena cannot afford to let anyone see that. She has to stay strong and confident, especially in front of her uncail. She finds using the Irish term for the word helps keep her distance from him.

“We definitely need lots of snacks,” Kara says, her eyes locked on Lena. “Nia, can you and Fionn cover that? I saw so many good ones at the ordering counter. Lena and I will meet you in the parking lot.”

“Sure thing.” Nia gives a mock salute. “Hey Irish dude. Ready?”

#supercorp #irish lena luthor #pov lena luthor #lena luthor #kara zor el #kara danvers #kara x lena #nia nal #supergirl cw #cw supergirl #supergirl #magic!lena #Ramping up stakes is such a delicate business #Always cleanse your body and environment before you do magic folks!#Kara and Nia are the best wingwoman but they also have no idea what's going on for most of this and that's okay #They got Lena's back no matter what

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captainlunaxmen · 5 months

Text

The Lady and the Lord

Chapter 3

Eddie munson x fem!reader

This is a repost since the old blog doesn't work anymore. 🥰

Chapter summary: more investigation 🔎

Chapter warnings: spoiler season 4

Eddie sits in the boat and eats a big amount of cereal as Dustin speaks.

"So we got, uh, some good news and some bad news" he says. "How do you prefer it?"

"Bad news first. Always" he says with his mouth full.

"All right. Bad news. We talked into the Hawkins PD dispatch with our Cerebro, and they're definitely looking for you. Also, they, uh.. they're pretty convinced you killed Chrissy." Dustin explains.

"Like, 100% kind of convinced" Max adds.

What the fuck..

Eddie's expression is a mix of defeat and fear and sadness all together.

"And the good news?" He tries.

"Your name hasn't gone public yet." Robin answers "but if we found out about you, it's a matter of time before others do. And once that gets out, everyone and their shallow-minded mother is gon a be gunning for you"

"Hunt the freak, right?" Eddie's voice breaks a bit.

"Exactly" Robin nods.

I glare at Robin for a split second before turning back to Eddie.

"You're not a freak, Eddie. We're gonna fix this" I tell him.

"Yeah exactly!" Dustin agrees "so we need to find Vecna, kill him, and prove your innocence."

Everyone nods.

"That's all, Dustin? That's all?" Eddie asks very sarcastically.

"Yeah, no, that's pretty much it." Dustin simply answers, not acknowledging the sarcasm.

"Listen, Eddie" Robin gets his attention "I know everything Dustin is saying sounds totally delusional, but we've actually been through this before..."

"Yeah I gave him the speech earlier" I say.

"Great, so bottom line is, collectively, I really feel we got this" She adds.

"Told you" I tell him.

"Yeah, well we usually rely on this girl who has super powers. But, uh, those went bye-bye, so.." Steve says.

"So we're technically in more of the-"

"Brainstorming phase"

"There's nothing to worry about" Dustin splutters

Steve scoffs a little, keeping a, what he thinks is, a reassuring smile on his face and Eddie just looks at them confused, until we hear the police sirens wailing.

"Tarp" Robin says to Eddie, indicating him to hide.

We all run to the window to see the police car passing by, plus and ambulance.

"They're heading..." I start.

"Yeah" Max nods.

"Let's go" Dustin suggests.

Everyone gathers their things I just stand there, expecting to stay with Eddie again when he gently touches my arms to get my attention.

"You should go" he tells me.

"Am I that shitty for a company?" I joke.

He half laughs.

"Not at all, but... they're looking for me and if they find me and you with me they might think you're helping 'the killer' and arrest you too. It's not fair" he explains.

"Well it's not fair for them to come after you either" I complain.

"Yeah, I know. But I don't want you to get in trouble because of me, m'lady." He tries to flirt to enlighten the mood, but ends up only making blush.

"I fought against demonic creatures from another dimension, I think I can handle some close-minded cops" I say.

"Just go. Please. Do me the favour?" He asks looking at me with pleading doe eyes.

I could stare into his eyes forever..

Shit.

I shake my head.

"I..."

"I'm gonna be fine. I got my food, I got my.. drinks I'm okay." He tells me "plus.. they need some brain in their party"

"Hey!"

"What's that supposed to mean"

Both Steve and Dustin exclaims.

I turn around to see them visibly offended before being dragged out by Robin and Max.

"See? They need a brain" Eddie insists with a chuckle.

"Are you sure?" I check.

"Positive, m'lady" he say making a small bow.

"Okay okay" I slightly laugh at the gesture "you better be careful here, my lord"

I start to walk backwards to the door.

"Always" he winks at me.

That catches me off guard and I almost tripp on my way out.

"Oh! Careful yourself, beautiful" he sweetly mocks.

I just wave at him and get out. Releasing a sigh of relief.

I look up at the group waiting by the car.

All with a big teasing grin on their faces.

"What?" I ask rolling my eyes.

"Oh nothing" Robin says, keeping the grin on her face, we all get in Steve's car.

"Mhmm" I look at her.

"Seems like you had no problems talking to him at all." Steve says.

"Just drive, will you?" I tell him.

We arrive at the Forest hills trailer park, in no time finding a very distraught Nancy already there.

What's she doing here? Investigating, probably. Very Nancy style... but what happened?

"So you're saying that this things that killed Fred and Chrissy, it's from the Upside Down?" Nancy asks.

"If the shoe fits" Steve confirmes.

"Our working theory is that he attacks with a spell or a curse. Now, whether or not he's doing the bidding of the Mind Flayer or just love killing teens, we don't know" Dustin explains.

"All we know is that... this one's is different. It feels different" I add.

"Doesn't make any sense." Nancy shakes her head.

"It's only a theory" Dustin specifies.

"No, Fred and Chrissy don't make sense" she points out "I mean, why them?"

"Wrong place?" I try.

"They were both at the game" Dustin points out.

"And near the trailer park" Max adds.

"We're at the trailer park" Steve mentions, visibly worried. "Should we maybe not be here?"

"There is something about this place" Nancy starts explaining "Fred started acting weird the second wr gor here"

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"He was scared, on edge, upset"

The last word catches Dustin's attention.

"Max said Chrissy was upset too"

"Yeah, but not here. She was crying in the bathroom at school" She specifies.

"Serial killer stalk their prey before they strike right?" Robin asks.

"Usually, yeah" I reply.

"So, maybe, Fred and Chrissy saw this Vecman-"

"Vecna"

"Dunno about you guys, but if I saw some freaky wizard monster, I would mention it to someone" Steve suggests.

"Yeah, but you already faced things like this before, and you know the people to mention this to... they don't. They would think they're crazy" I tell him sadly.

"But maybe there's one person they might've told this to.." Max suggests. "I saw Chrissy leaving ms. Kelly's office. Y/n's right. Not everyone know about this stuff like us so.. if they saw a monster they definitely wouldn't go to the police, because they'd never believe them, but they might go to their.."

"Their shrink." Robin finishes and Max nods.

"Let's talk to Ms. Kelly then. She must know something" Steve says.

So we get up and walk to Steve's car, but Nancy just keeps walking.

"Whoa whoa Nance! Nancy!" Steve calls her. "Where are you going?"

"Oh there's just something I wanna check on first" she answers simply. Without elaborating.

"Care to elaborate?" I ask.

"I don't wanna waste your time. It's a real shot in the dark." She says.

"Yeah, okay. Are you out of your mind?" Steve's getting agitated. "Flying solo with this Vecna creep on the lose? No, it's dangerous. You need... you need someone to.."

Nancy just raises her eyebrows at him.

I think Steve here is forgetting who are the only two people who can actually use a gun... and he's not one of them.

"Here, I'll stick with Nance all right? You guys, take the car, check out the shrink" he tosses his keys at Robin.

"I don't think you want me driving your car" Robin declines right away.

"Why?"

"I don't have a license!" She says.

"Why don't you have a license?" Steve asks, surprised.

"I'm poor"

"Then Y/n will." Steve states.

"Yeah, same problem Stevie" I tell him.

"I can drive" Max intervenes.

"No, never again. Please. Anybody but you. No" Steve immediately says.

Dustin looks at him, silently offering.

"Not a chance"

"Come on"

"All right, okay. This is stupid" Robin scoffs, grabbing a walkie from Dustin's backpack, and walks to Nancy, giving Steve his keys back. "I'll go with Nancy, unless you think we need you to protect us" She then teases and starts to walk to Nancy's car.

Nancy just shrugs and walks behind her.

"Be careful" Steve shouts.

"You're just gonna stand there and gawk?" Dustin teases him, with an amused smile on his face.

"Shut up"

"C'mon you two, let's go" I scold them and we all get in the car.

"Always the babysitter, always the goddamn babysitter" Steve complains.

I just laugh as we drive off.

When we arrive at Ms Kelly's House Max walk up to the front door.

We see her talking to Kelly and then walks in.

"Okay she's in" Steve mutters.

"I'm missing collarbones, not eyes" Dustin tells him with his usual sass.

"And now we wait" I say.

After a moment of peace, Dustin breaks the silence.

"So..? We're gonna talk about... it?" He asks Steve, but look at me. I think I know exactly what he's talking about and I try hold back a small smile.

"Uh? Sorry, talk about what?" Steve asks confused.

"Your temporary insanity earlier today" Dustin says and I let out a small laugh earning a confused glare from Steve

"He's talking about today when you basically throw yourself at Nancy" I tell him.

"Okay first of all, that not what happened" he starts defending himself.

"Pretty sure that's what happens, right?" He turns to me for approval and I nod "it was pretty public."

"Are you two implying I still have a thing for Nance?" He ask in an accusatory tone.

"No. We're not implying. We're stating, and as it relates to tour steadfast refusal to date Robin, it's pretty much the only logical explanation" Dustin states.

If he only knew..

"That's not the only one" Steve says quietly "and as for Nance, I was just trying to protect a friend."

Dustin has a very unconvinced smile on his face.

"A friend, Henderson. Okay?" Steve repeats firmly. I don't wanna find her in the morning with her eyes sucked out of her skull by this Vecna creep."

"You're like bright read in the face right now" Dustin chuckles.

"I'm not" Steve defends.

"Yeah you are" I disagree.

"I don't wanna talk about it. I'll punch you so hard your teeth will fall back out"

Oh he didn't..

"Whoa. Too far" Dustin says.

Steve look at him with sorry and regret written all over his face.

"Not cool. Sorry." He says.

"It's okay" Dustin tells him quietly.

They nod in understanding and make peace.

"So..?" Dustin says again, fully turning to me.

I raise an eyebrow at him, questioning.

"Everything good with Eddie?" Dusting asks, I can hear the teasing tone behind him.

"Yeah.."

"Yeah, right, you two were very comfortable talking to each other, uh?" Steve joins Dustin's teasing.

"I.. no, I mean.." I stutter.

"C'mon.. he does have a thing for you" Dustin tells me.

"He doesn't" I insist.

"He does, every day at lunch He always looks your way. Always asks about you.." Dustin tells me.

"You're just saying that" I roll my eyes.

"No I'm not" he chuckles "he really does. He also asked me and Mike how come we know someone as beautiful as you"

I blush at the thought of him thinking that I am beautiful, but that can't be true. I shake my head.

"It's impossible" I say with a dry laugh.

"Why?" Steve asks.

"Because no one could ever love me. Okay? I'm a fucking mess, no one would ever have the patience to.. to deal with someone like me" I snap, feeling my eyes tearing up and I blink the tears away.

"Y/n..." Steve starts.

"Here she comes" I tell the two boys.

Max runs back to the car, clearly agitated.

"Drive!" She says.

"What did she say?" Dustin asks.

"Nothing. Just drive" she answers.

"What do you mean nothing?"

"Nothing Steve just drive" she exclaims and Steve turn the car on and just drive off.

"I got her office's key. She wouldn't tell me nothing so I thought that there was a better place to find some answers" Max tells us as we far away from Ms Kelly's House.

"Illegal entry.. nice" I say sarcastically.

"Dustin? Dustin do you copy?"

We hear Lucas' voice coming from Dustin's radio, me and Max share a confused look.

"Lucas? Where the hell have you been?" Dustin asks, mad.

"Just listen. Are you guys looking for Eddie?" Lucas asks, his tone is agitated.. tense.

"We found him, no thanks to you." Dustin replies.

"You found him" Lucas is incredulous.

"He's at a boathouse on Coal Mill Road. Don't worry. He's safe." Dustin says to reassure his friend.

"You guys know he killed Chrissy, right?" Lucas says, with an almost smartass tone.

Is he for real? He should know better..

I loudly scoff.

"You serious?" I ask.

"That's bullshit" Dustin agrees. "Eddie tries to save Chrissy."

"Then why do all the cops say he did it?" He asks back.

Tired of their bickering, Max grabs the radio to talk to Lucas.

"Lucas, you're so behind it's ridiculous, okay? Just meet us at the school. We'll explain later"

"I.. I can't. I think some real bad shit's about to go down." He says.

"What are you talking about? What bad shit?" Max asks.

No answer.

"Lucas?"

"What happened?" I ask confused.

"No idea." Dustin answers.

Then an idea pops in my mind.

"Oh shit.." I mutter.

"What?" Max turns to me.

"The basketball team... Chrissy was Jason's girlfriend. Maybe he.. he wants revenge or some shit." I tell the others.

"Shit" Steve says.

The school at night time is a whole different atmosphere. Creepy and almost ghostly, especially when you're investigating about another dimension.

I feel a shiver going through my body... very creepy.

As we walk down the hallway to Ms Kelly's office Robin's voice can be heard clearly from the radio.

"Dustin, do you copy?" She asks, to gain pur attention.

"Yeah, I copy"

"So Nancy's a genius" Robin says.

They found something, great!

"Vecna's first victim date back all the way to 1959. Her shot in the dark was a bull's-eye." She tells us.

Holy shit.

"Okay, that's totally bonkers, but I can't really talk right now" Dustin replies.

"Wait. What are you doing?" Robin, obviously, asks.

"Breaking and entering school to retrieve confidential and extremely personal files" he says, simply, like it was nothing.

"Can you repeat that?"

"Just get over here, and soon" I say grabbing Dustin's radio.

Thanks to Max we manage to enter Ms Kelly's office, getting immediately to work at looking for Chrissy's file.

All while Dustin and Steve talks about... Hawkinsgate.

"Holy shit" Max exclaims.

"You found it?" I ask her getting closer.

"Yeah, and not just Chrissy's file. Fred was seeing Ms Kelly too.

"What?" We all look at her.

She then sit at the desk and starts to read Chrissy's file, looking for... literally anything at this point, that might help us.

I can sense she's getting agitated, but I can't understand why.

"Can I see Fred's file?" She then asks.

"Yeah" Steve hands her the file and she immediately opens it, almost like she knew exactly what to look for and then...

"Max?" I calm for her, but she doesn't answer.

I look at Steve, worried and confused.

"Max?" I try again.

No answer, again.

#stranger things x y/n #stranger things fic #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine #stranger things #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson

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nothorses · 1 year

Note

op had to specify 'unseasoned' meatloaf because it's riffing on a Real Bad Take Post by americans about british poverty foods that said 'unseasoned' shepherd's pie, as if anyone is eating that. (I know, haha meme white people don't season their food, but like.) americans are so myopic and fucking mean about the rest of the world, but can't take it themselves. (not that the brits don't deserve it, but frankly, SO DO YOU, AMERICANS, the citizens of the imperial core, the only global superpower.)

Gonna be honest, I think you're making some pretty wild assumptions here, anon.

Like. I have not seen the post you're referring to. I also didn't reblog the one I DID see- just replied to it- which means you saw that comment and decided to come pick a fight with me HERE instead of replying in comments like a normal person. So you both aren't actually a follower of mine, and won't see this anyway unless you've committed to obsessively refreshing my blog to check for the next few days.

Weird!

So y'know, I haven't actually seen the shepherds pie remark, I personally enjoy shepherds pie, and I don't really know what to tell you there. I don't know that "you can dish it but you can't take it" makes any fucking sense in a situation where I did not, in fact, dish it or know that it was being dished.

Also... there are lots of American foods that fucking suck, dude. I'm not out here defending Midwestern "salads" that consist mostly of mayo and perhaps some canned goods, or like most (if not all) jello dishes, or even most of the stuff on that post. There's plenty to hate and make fun of, and I do it all the damn time. You don't know that because you don't know me, and also couldn't know even the amount that my followers know about me. You literally saw me defend meatloaf (which isn't even originally an American dish, just something we have a version of?) and fucking blacked out, I guess.

And I don't care if you like meatloaf, genuinely. I don't mind making fun of food choices or arguing over generally inconsequential food stuff! It's fun. I was saying that in good fun.

What makes this ask particularly fucking unhinged is that you took out all this frustration you have over, I guess, Americans making fun of your food... on some rando who pointed out that most people have sauce on their meatloaf.

For what!! Who cares!! Oh my god!

And I would have just deleted this, but dude. My guy. Holy shit. Like a solid third of those "gross American foods" (if not more, idk- I'm an idiot from the PNW) are like, pretty classic black southern dishes.

I simply do not think you can argue that black americans "deserve it" the same way white brits or white americans do, actually. I don't think it's fair to act as if they are equal "citizens of the imperial core, the only global superpower".

Like, we're not making fun of British Indian food. We aren't making fun of teriyaki or other American immigrant food. Why do you think "American biscuits and gravy" is cool to mock? I don't think black people "have it coming", man. I think that's a pretty weird take, actually.

Also... like... their food is objectively miles better than whatever midcentury depression-era mess white americans are still trying to pretend is edible.

#LIKE THIS ASK IS JUST BIZARRE RIGHT #I don't want to hear anything else about the food discourse i just want to point and laugh at anon specifically

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colossal-red · 2 years

Text

Just An Ordinary Life: Chapter Two: The BigWorld...

tw: Cursing, Fear, Bird Attack. WC: 1723

Tommy opened his eyes with excitement visible in them. Today was the day, he and Tubbo were going to sneak out of the walls! And go and visit Ranboo if possible. He was quick to get up and pull his normal red and white shirt and jeans on. He was SO excited as he rushed downstairs and scarfed down the meal Phil had made for him. "Woah! Slow down mate, you're gonna upset you're stomach!" His dad scolded light-heartedly as Tommy finished the cereal. He had pulled out his phone and had been DM-ing Tubs as he ate. They were going to meet each other at Fort Big at 11:30, in the meanwhile, they'd hang out, and make sure that Punz filled out his end of the deal, so they could get out.

TommyInnit: TUBS, YOU READY? 8:23 AM Tubbo: Always! 8:23 AM TommyInnit: You better not be late Bee Boy! Or so help me. 8:24 AM

He left the house rather quickly after finishing eating, nearly forgetting his shoes in anticipation. "Bye Dad! I'll be back later!" Little did Dadza know, that later would be a while away. He did his normal thing of walking down the sidewalk, tail swaying behind him in the gentle breeze. After some time, he reached Fort Big, deep within the forest. "Tubbo!" He called as he approached. Damn, he appears to have made it before him. He went through the 'gate' of Fort Big and collapsed onto one of the blankets inside.

TommyInnit: Tubbo! Where the fuck are you?? 9:04 AM Tubbo: Almost there Boss Man! 9:06 AM TommyInnit: I'll break through the wall without you! 9:06 AM Tubbo: Please, you couldn't hold that hammer if your life depended on it XD 9:10 AM

It wasn't long before tell-tale rustling was heard as Bee Boy himself emerged through the 'gate'. "Ayup Boss Man-" He said simply as he plopped down next to Tommy, sprawling himself over the fabric. "So! What shall we do while we wait?" Asked Tubs in a mock sophisticated Accent, "For I shan't wait to know!" He finished laughing slightly, Tommy joining him. "Now what brought that on then?" He asked, absentmindedly scrolling through his phone as Tubbo rambled about watching Sherlock Holmes last night or something like that. They stayed there like that for a bit, before realizing, that if they were gonna stay outside the walls for a few hours, they'll probably need food.

"Fuck, Tubs, did we ever make any plans to bring food?" He questioned Tubbo, knowing full well that they hadn't, and Tubbo's shake of denial was all he needed to groan and clutch his face. "Hey, don't worry Big Man, we'll get some food! I can wrap some up from a restaurant in one of these blankets!" He suggested, urging Tommy to sit up, as they'd have to hurry if they wanted to get some food for the Adventure. Tommy checked the time on his phone, seeing that it was 9:57 AM already. "Fuck, we gotta go Tubbo!" They sprinted the way to the McBorrowers, quickly ordering some food and bringing it back to Fort Big, but not before stopping to pick up the make-shift swords, they didn't know if it would be dangerous out there. They stopped just outside Fort Big, and Tommy checked his phone, seeing a message from Punz, and a Notification from Ranboob. The DM said: "Tommy, do I still do the distraction?" And the notification from Ranboo stated: "What are you two doinggggg, you've been secretive lately and that worries me-" He responded to the DM with a thumbs up, and told Ranboo to piss off. But then Tubbo responded back with that it was nothing and started rattling off about Sherlock Holmes to Boob Boy.

He checked the time yet again, it was 10:35 AM at this point, meaning that in under an hour, they'd be free. He tapped his foot in anticipation as time passed, it shouldn't be that much longer now! (Sprint end) "Urg, I dunno how much longer I can wait!" He was really excited, this was gonna be a major adventure! And he'd finally prove to Ranboo that he was 6'3. He and Tubs sparred for the last hour, before finally...

Punz: The Distraction has been set off, do whatever you need to do. 11:30 AM TommyInnit: Thanks Man! 11:30 AM

"Alright Tubs! Let's go!" Tubbo quickly got out of the Fort, big-ass hammer with him. In the distance, they could hear shouts as whatever distraction Punz had pulled off tore their eyes and ears away from the sounds of collapsing walls. The Duo sprinted toward the wall, not too far away from Fort Big, and Tubbo started swinging. The Wall was surprisingly easy to break through, but it still took him a second. The Wall finally shattered, revealing a bright light. Oh Shit, it was finally happening! He rushed through the hole as it was opened wide enough and... He fell off an edge. "AHHHH-" He screamed as he began to fall, before feeling Tubbo's hand grasp his shirt collar and pull him back onto the small ledge that was just outside the Wall, barely big enough for two borrowers to stand next to each other away from the wall. "What the fuck?!" Tommy asked looking over the edge, Tubbo busy asking him if he was okay. "Y-yeh, I'm alright, but do, holy shit, do you see that??" He asked in a panicky voice, looking up and around the outside...

Tubbo hadn't noticed anything initially, just that the Village was elevated apparently. Until, he looked around, and saw larger-than-life trees, Birds the size of Dragons, and a jungle of grass a long way down. His eyes widened as he took in the sights. T-This couldn't be possible, t-this had to be a trick. "T-Tommy, what do we do?!" He asked in worry, this was NOT how they'd thought their trip would go. He watched as Tom finished processing the situation, before getting a determined look on his face, and walking along the side, to an area that was significantly larger than the platform he'd been standing on a second ago. "Tommy!? Where are you going?!" He shouted to him as he stepped onto the larger platform. "To explore, what else?" (Sprint) He just kinda stared at Tommy as he went and found a long ass staircase that lead to the bottom. "O-Ok? Wait for me!" He called as he tried to follow his friend. But before Tommy could begin to descend down the staircase, a thunderous squawk was heard, o-o-oh s-shit.

Tubbo stared up at the Crow that had landed next to Tommy, staring down their beak at him, Tommy, meanwhile, was frozen. He instinctively readied his hammer as the Bird pecked at Tommy, pinning him to the floor while trying to pick him up. Fuck, his fingers shook at the sounds of his friend's screeches as he fought off the Avian. Tubbo charged at the Crow and smacked their beak, earning another screech from the beak. Until a noise was heard. It was extremely loud, and instantly scared the Bird away, and Tubbo found himself dropping his hammer to cover his ears because of how fucking loud that noise was. He rushed over to Tommy as soon as the Siren-Like noise ended. "Tommy!? A-are you ok?"

Tommy took a second, eyes closed. Fuck that had been terrifying, that dumbass bird had flown down and pecked him so fucking hard.

He checked his pulse, okay, thank Soot he was alive. "O-Of course I-I'm alive, fuck that gave me a scare, no fucking Crow would be able to kill me..." He finished off, trying to intake air. It seemed as if the Bird hadn't actually harmed him that much, and had just knocked the air out of him. "Well, we should probably head back now, and try to come up with a new plan." He helped the Blonde back up, before he was pushed away. "F-Fuck that, we came out here to see the world, the least we could do is get a decent ways away, maybe we could find something cool..." He finished off, but Tubbo's mind was thinking about those old fairy tales about humans, and what that noise was that had scared away the Bird...

Wilbur sighed in relief as he saw the Bird fly away from the Colony, it was rare to have a Bird get near L'Manberg, but when they did, they had a Siren-System that would scare it away if someone was watching at the time. He sipped at his coffee, he had not been ready for that to happen, so he had to be alert, just in case. He searched around the Colony for the Blonde, but he couldn't see him anywhere. There did appear to be a massive mess of spilled liquid and a big-ass overturned crate of a variety of fruit slices that the Villagers were cleaning up. That was a bit odd, but not incredibly noteworthy. He DM'ed Kristin, he worried about her sometimes, she hadn't been herself recently, almost as if she'd been staying up much later than normal.

Wilbur Soot: Kristin, are you doing alright? 11:37 AM

No response. That was strange, he'd have to go check on her later, for now, he just watched the Colony, always observing...

Ranboo wasn't sure what had possessed him to do this, it had been a rather impulsive decision. He was going to go and try to see Tommy and Tubbo, it felt strange the way they talked about their home, so he had decided to drive toward where they lived as they had shared their location to him once, but he was only now realizing that it appeared to be in the middle of nowhere, a far distance away from where he lived. But, he should reach there soon enough. He checked Discord once he stopped to get gas, and of course, Tommy had told him to fuck off. He chuckled slightly as he responded to both Tommy and Tubbo's messages.

Ranboob: Well, whatever the 2 of you are doing, plz be safe? 11:43 AM

After he finished filling up, he was on his way again, he was excited to see them, to say the least...

@squishys-soft-stories @funtimemoth @bigshot0 @piplove3000 @salamimaster

#tiny!tommy #tiny!tubbo #giant!wilbur #implied giant!kristin #giant!ranboo #tiny!philza #tiny!phil #tiny!punz #mcyt g/t #mcytblr #myct #fanfic #birb

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kahran042 · 1 year

Text

Incorrect Jonas Corbin quotes

Quotes that had to have been said in Jonas Corbin's Guide to Life, right? RIIIGHT!?

Jonas: *singing* I’ve got less than an hour and when this is ended, I’ll either be famous… Principal Mazlish: *singing* …Or you'll be suspended! (Source: A Goofy Movie)

Nate: Are you sure that's a wise decision? Jonas: I never made a wise decision in my life, and never will. (Source: Ace Attorney)

Jonas: Difficult-looking math books stand in a formidable row. They mock me. I tried reading one and it made my head hurt. When I closed it, it slipped out of my hand. Then my foot hurt too. (Source: Ace Attorney)

Kiera: Chloe, did you eat my food again? Chloe: Why, is there still some on my face? Kiera: No. Chloe: Then no. (Source: American Dad!)

Mark: I’m gonna go check out the situation. And you guys can check out my ass as I walk away. I think you’ll be pleased. (Source: American Dad!)

Thom (to Kyle): I hate you. I say that not out of anger, but simply as a fact. It’s 67 degrees outside and I hate you. (Source: American Dad!)

Jessica: I may be blonde with great cans, but I'm pretty smart when I've had my eight hours. (Source: American Dad!)

Connor (to Morgan): Please don't talk anymore, okay? It's only gonna upset me. (Source: Anastasia)

Morgan: My brother? You?! What can *anybody* see in him? Kiera: Look, will you help me or not? Morgan: Fine. If you like basket cases, I'll help you get him! (Source: Angel Sanctuary)

Nate: If you have ten cookies and someone takes half of them, what will they have? Chloe: A broken hand. (Source: Animaniacs)

Jonas: Early to rise and early to bed makes a man healthy but socially dead. (Source: Animaniacs)

Nick: You won’t like me when I’m angry. Connor: I don’t like you ever. (Source: Aqua Teen Hunger Force)

Jared: I don't need no instructions to know how to rock! (Source: Aqua Teen Hunger Force)

Jonas: Lacrosse?! Kiera: Yeah, it's Algonquin for…bloodsport? Nate: It's not Algonquin for anything! (Source: Archer)

Kiera: What's your blood type? Adrian: How would I know? Kiera: How would you not? Adrian: Who am I, Karl Landsteiner, discoverer of blood groups? Kiera: You don't know your blood type, but you know who discovered them? (Source: Archer)

Jonas: What did you draw? Samantha: A stick. Jonas: A stick? Samantha: A stick from the park where you PROMISED TO TAKE ME TODAY! (Source: Arthur)

Richard: Isn't it amazing what brothers and sisters learn from each other? Samantha: I learn a lot from Jonas because he makes so many mistakes. (Source: Arthur)

Kiera: Chloe cheating? It doesn't seem possible. Jonas: Are you kidding? She copies off me all the time. Kiera: Then how come she gets better grades than you? (Source: Arthur)

Morgan: Connor, can I ask you a question? Connor: Sure. Morgan: What’s the matter with you? (Source: Arthur)

Samantha: Maybe there’s a race for lonely children! Jonas: That’s “only” children, Samantha. A lonely child is what you’re gonna be when I sell you. (Source: Arthur)

Nate: Having fun isn’t hard when you’ve got a library card! (Source: Arthur)

Nick: People think I can't write a poem, but they are so wrong. I CAN write a poem. I wrote this one, I wrote this poem, and I gave it the title "Nick's Poem". So shut up! The end. (Source: Arthur)

Sarah: Morgan, are you gay? Morgan: The correct term is lesbian! Uh, not that I'm a lesbian!! (Source: Azumanga Daioh)

Chloe (mocking): Oh, you're amazing, Connor! I want to marry you so I can be Mark Urquhart. Mark: I wouldn't take his name. (Source: Bob's Burgers)

Jonas: You don’t want to mess with my half-sister. She’ll wear down your self-esteem over a period of years. (Source: Bob's Burgers)

Alicia (looking at Kiera and Connor): They make a great couple, don't they? Chloe: They certainly are standing next to each other. (Source: Bob's Burgers)

Jonas: Brad, we tried things your way. Brad: No, we didn't. Jonas: I tried it in my head and it didn't work. (Source: Bob's Burgers)

Kathleen: Believe me, Morgan. You don't want to end up like your brother. Without, you know, any friends. Connor: Hey! I do have friends. Kathleen: Nooo… Morgan: Connor has friends. There's Mark… Kathleen: … Connor: … Morgan: I shouldn't have made that sound like I was gonna have a list. (Source: Bob's Burgers)

Mark: I'm being blackmailed. Chloe: Blackmail? No one blackmails our brother but us! Justin: Messing with Mark is a privilege, not a right! (Source: Bob's Burgers)

Morgan: I made this friendship bracelet for you. Chloe: You know, I’m not really a jewelry person. Morgan: You don’t have to wear it. Chloe: No, I’m keeping it forever. Back off. (Source: Bob's Burgers)

Alicia: So, what do you think of Connor? I'm pretty sure he's into you. Morgan: Connor's my brother. Alicia: Ohhh, I was wondering why you both said "Bye, Mom" to the same lady. Still, there's something there… (Source: Bob's Burgers)

Mark: So I'm guessing you two have worked things out? Chloe (opening her door angrily): Mark, you’re going to have to choose- me or Justin? I lost one brother today, am I gonna lose another? Mark: I won't take sides, I'm like a sexy Switzerland. (Source: Bob's Burgers)

Chloe: Danger is my middle name. I spell it M-I-C-H-E-L-L-E. (Source: Bob's Burgers)

Donna: Someday I hope you have a kid who puts you through what I’ve gone through. Jonas: Yeah, Grandma says that’s what she used to tell you. (Source: Calvin and Hobbes)

Brad: I've been thinking… Jonas: On a weekend? Brad: Well, it wasn't on purpose. (Source: Calvin and Hobbes)

Jonas: Today for "Show and Tell", I have a souvenir from the afterlife! Yes, you heard right! Equally amazing is my own story of yesterday afternoon, when I actually died of boredom! I was doing my homework, when I suddenly collapsed! I felt myself rising, and could see my crumpled body on the floor. I drifted up in a shaft of light and entered the next world! Eventually, my heart started again and I came back to life… but not before bringing THIS back! Teacher: A yo-yo? Jonas: It was pretty boring THERE, too. Teacher: Let's have a look at that homework. (Source: Calvin and Hobbes)

Jonas: You can’t turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood. Brad: And what mood is that? Jonas: Last minute panic. (Source: Calvin and Hobbes)

Jonas: The fact that Mark and Connor don't have girlfriends is one of the seven wonders of this school. (Source: Cardcaptor Sakura)

Nate: What I want to know is, if the witch can fly, how come she needs to climb up Rapunzel's hair? Jonas: Who brought you? (Source: ChalkZone)

Nate: Nothing can beat science! (Source: Chrono Trigger)

Brad: Is it weird to be the first person in history to break their arm from jerking off, or do you consider that an honor? Jonas: That's not… Brad: Let me paint the picture. You're in your bedroom, you've got Kiera's Instagram up on your weird off-brand cell phone… (Source: Dear Evan Hansen)

Morgan: Connor is a… complicated person. Chloe: No, he's a bad person. There's a difference. (Source: Dear Evan Hansen)

Jessica: I've been living a lie… Lauren: You mean you’re not a natural blonde? (Source: Digimon)

Connor: Sorry I'm late. I was supposed to get a haircut, but when I looked in the mirror, I realized my hair was already perfect. Morgan: The only thing is, he was staring in the mirror for over an hour. (Source: Digimon)

Mark: Don’t keep things bottled up inside! It’s not healthy! Connor: Don’t tell me about not being healthy. I’ve been not healthy my whole life, so I’m an expert, and if I want to keep things bottled up, I will. (Source: Digimon)

Alicia: I’m gonna sit here and stare at the flowers until everybody starts getting along! (Source: Digimon)

Connor: I tried thinking positive once, and I was positive about one thing- I positively hated it! (Source: Digimon)

Nate: In order to succeed, you have to work hard every single day! Jonas: Wow, that sounds awful. You just talked me out of wanting to succeed. (Source: Dilbert)

Monica: Where's Samantha? Jonas: What am I? Her keeper? Monica: Yes. Jonas: …Backyard. (Source: Ed, Edd n Eddy)

Kiera: Chloe, I apologize for all the bad things I've said behind your back. Chloe: And I apologize for the ones I said to your face. (Source: Elena of Avalor)

Brad: Face it, you're a sucker for a woman with blue eyes. Jonas: Aha! Her eyes are gray! Brad: Aha! Thank you for proving my point! (Source: Family Guy)

Connor: You don't remember what it's like to be my age! Morgan: I'm two years younger than you! (Source: Family Guy)

Jonas: Hey Brad, can you listen to this song I wrote for Kiera and tell me what you think? Brad: What's it called? Jonas: "Kiera". Brad (sarcastically): Wow, a song named after a girl. There aren't a million of those already. Jonas: Name 20! Brad: "Rosanna", "Roxanne", "Michelle", "Allison", "Sarah", "Angie", "Brandy", "Mandy", "Gloria", "Cecilia", "Maggie May", "Jessica", "Nancy", "Barbara Ann", "Billie Jean", "Layla", "Lola", "Polly", "Helena", "Jenny from the Block". Jonas: …Name 6 more! Brad: "Sherry", "Laura", "Wendy", "Maria", "Peggy Sue", "Minnie the Moocher". Jonas: …Name 5 more. Brad: "Tracy", "Jean", "Jane", "Mary Ann", "Eleanor Rigby". Jonas: … Jonas (storming out): Go fuck yourself! (Source: Family Guy)

Mark: Do you know what the capital of this state is? Nick: Um, New Hampshire City? (Source: Family Guy)

Mark: If something happens to me, all the world's women will grieve! (Source: Final Fantasy VI)

Nick: You're Thomas Anderson, aren't you? Thom: Hey! Call me Thom, or I'll rip your lungs out! (Source: Final Fantasy VI)

Connor: I have nothing to say. Morgan: That's okay, it was probably depressing anyway. (Source: Final Fantasy VII)

Jonas: It's noon-thirty! People are trying to sleep! (Source: Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends)

Principal Mazlish (to Jonas): I dislike you with great intensity. (Source: Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends)

Nick: No stupid little brother of mine is gonna tell me how stupid I am! 'Cause I know how stupid I-

Jared: *smiles*

Nick: …SHUT UP!

(Source: Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends)

Zane: It's Freshman-Free Day! It's Freshman-Free Day!

Jasmine: "Fair", Zane! Freshman FAIR!

(Source: FoxTrot)

Brad: Jonas, are you sure this isn't another one of your dumb hare-brained schemes? Jonas: No, Brad, this is one of my smart hare-brained schemes! (Source: Fraggle Rock)

Connor: You know, Mark, out of all the friends I’ve ever had…you’re the first. (Source: Futurama)

Jonas: Hey, wait! I’m having one of those things- a headache with pictures! Brad: An idea? (Source: Futurama)

Connor: Live fast, die young, leave behind a pretty corpse. That’s what I always say. Mark: You should say something else. (Source: Futurama)

Kiera: (is crying) Jonas: If those aren’t tears of happiness, please stop crying. Do you need me to fight someone? 'Cause I’ll fight someone! (Source: Futurama)

Brad: Are you sure this is a shortcut? Jonas: Not as sure as I was an hour ago. (Source: Futurama)

Chloe: When you were a kid, what was your biggest fantasy? Kiera: To be loved by my parents. Chloe: Whatever. The correct answer is to have super powers! (Source: Futurama)

Chloe: What’s your favorite color? Jonas: Kiera. Wait, what was the question? (Source: Gravity Falls)

Thom: We need to just learn to hate each other in silence. Kyle: You mean, like…what girls do? (Source: Gravity Falls)

Nate: I scheduled some fun last month, but I had to cancel. (Source: Hey Arnold!)

Kiera: Don't you feel better that you did the right thing? Chloe: No, not really. (Source: Hey Arnold!)

Jonas: Kiera. So moral. So compassionate. So giving. If only I were good and kind like that. But I’m not. So that’s that. (Source: Hey Arnold!)

Morgan: *thinks she's dead* Well, that's it. I must be in heaven. Oh, no! Connor's here! This must be the other place! (Source: Hey Arnold!)

Jonas: Would you just go to bed? Samantha: It's 2:00 in the afternoon. Jonas: What did I tell you about talking to me? (Source: King of the Hill)

Morgan: Connor, you’re my brother, I’ve known you my whole life. Connor: You don’t know me, I am unknowable. (Source: King of the Hill)

Nick: Jared! Get out of the hot tub! We're stealing a news van! Jared: It's the perfect crime! How will they ever report it? (Source: King of the Hill)

Nate: You have to understand my position. I'm a coward and Principal Mazlish scares me. Jonas: What kind of position is that? Nate: No position! That's my point! (Source: Labyrinth)

Nate: I didn’t get any studying done yesterday. Jonas: I actually put in a lot of effort this time. Brad: How much studying did you do? Nate: Only four hours. Jonas: A whole four hours! (Source: Lucky Star)

Jonas: Me? Sad? No way! Sadness is for softies, and I'm one happy dude! (Source: Monster Rancher)

Jared: There's a man at the door with a mustache. Nick: Tell him I already have one. (Source: Monty Python)

Jonas: I'm the main character! Brad: I didn't vote for you. (Source: Monty Python)

Chloe (to Kiera): You are pure pureness in its purest form. It's almost irritating. (Source: Moral Orel)

Jonas, narrating: I was bearing the situation with my usual grace and poise, of course. Jonas: Why? WHY do these things ALWAYS happen to ME!? (Source: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic)

Chloe: Now, what have we learned? Alicia: Loss of control… Chloe: Good. Alicia: Screaming and hollering… Chloe: Yes. And most importantly? Alicia: Passion. Chloe: Right. So now that you know all the elements of a good cheer, let's hear one! Alicia: *breathes in; quietly* Yay. Chloe: Ugh. You're going to cheer for me like that? Louder. Alicia: *quietly* Yay. Chloe: Louder! Alicia: *quietly* Yay. Chloe: LOUDER!!! Alicia: *deep breath; quietly* Yay. Chloe: Ugh. Alicia: Too loud? (Source: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic)

Nate: I've prepared our things! There are snacks, books, blankets, books… Jonas: You said books twice. Nate: …There are a lot of books. (Source: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic)

Kiera: Adrian and I have always been close. He’s my BBBFF. Everyone else: *confused stares* Kiera: Big Brother Best Friend Forever? (Source: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic)

Nate: *walking into an argument between Jonas and Chloe* What's going on? Jonas: Chloe thinks Alicia's a tree. Chloe: I do not think she’s a tree! I was just— Nate: Did you say she was a tree? Chloe: No! Well, yes, but not exactly. Nate: You know she’s not a tree, right? Jonas: She’s not a tree, Chloe! Alicia: *butting into the conversation* I’d like to be a tree. (Source: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic)

Chloe (to Morgan): I don’t really hate your brother. I just really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really dislike him. (Source: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic)

Chloe: Ah, yes, reading. That’s what they did before they invented fun. Nate: I heard that! (Source: Phineas and Ferb)

Jonas: See? One day you're gonna look back at this and laugh. Chloe: I personally assure you, for the rest of my life, every time I look back on this, I will drive to your house and slap you. (Source: Phineas and Ferb)

Brad: Only you can nerdify a great sport like baseball. Nate: Brad, hitting a baseball involves the basic principles of velocity, force, and geometry. Brad: You’re visualizing numbers in the air again aren’t you? (Source: Phineas and Ferb)

Brad, looking over his contacts: Nate, Kiera, Chloe, Alicia, Jonas. Nate, Kiera, Chloe, Alicia, Jonas? Nate, Kiera, Chloe, Alicia, Jonas?! How can I only have 5 friends?! And one of them is Jonas! (Source: Phineas and Ferb)

Kiera: Well, has Jonas been wrong before? Brad: How wide are we willing to open this up? (Source: Phineas and Ferb)

Chloe: What kind of fun can we have when it’s raining? Alicia: We could talk about our feelings. Chloe: Ok, I’ll rephrase it: What kind of fun can we have when it’s raining? (Source: Phineas and Ferb)

Jonas: Well, this is a cartoon. Nate: What did I tell you about breaking the fourth wall? (Source: Phineas and Ferb)

Nick: Prepare for trouble! Jared: And make it double! (Source: Pokémon)

Morgan: Stop running away! Connor: Stop chasing me! (Source: Pokémon)

Connor: There was something in my life that prevented me from having friends when I was a little boy. Mark: It must have been your personality. (Source: Pokémon)

Nate: Have you come up with code names? Jonas: My name is Tom Ato. Chloe: Well, my name is Anne Chovy. Brad: And I'm Caesar Salad. (Source: Pokémon)

Jonas: Don't rush me, Nate, I have to think! Nate: Well, this is going to be a brand new experience for you! (Source: Pokémon)

Brad: Rejected by the girl I loved! I'll never find another one like her again! Jonas: Don't worry, Brad! You'll find plenty of other girls to reject you! (Source: Pokémon)

Jonas: Can't you guys have a little confidence in me? Brad: We have as little confidence in you as possible. (Source: Pokémon)

Jonas: Whenever I'm around Kiera, I get this weird feeling in my stomach. Am I sick? Nate: Hmm. Maybe you harbor an infatuation with her. Jonas: Infatuation? Is that contagious? (Source: Recess)

Morgan: [watching an old video of herself] Man, did you see that catch? That was in my prime! Kiera: Morgan, that was 2 weeks ago. (Source: Recess)

Principal Mazlish: The criminal always returns to the scene of the crime. Jonas: But Principal Mazlish, you dragged me here! (Source: Recess)

Alicia: So you see, if we’re not nice to Mother Nature, she’ll kick our butts. (Source: Rocko's Modern Life)

Jonas: What do you think I am? An imbecile? Brad: Wow, Jonas! And it only took you fifteen seconds! (Source: Rugrats)

Kiera: *looking in a mirror* You look even prettier than you did yesterday! Adrian: You look the same to me. (Source: Rugrats)

Chloe: Do you always do what your parents tell you? Kiera: Yes. Chloe: Well, cut it out! (Source: Rugrats)

Jonas (facing the camera): This is dangerous, kids, so don't try it at home! Brad and Chloe: Like they could?! (Source: Slayers)

Sarah: Morgan, if we walk in here holding hands, everyone's gonna think we're gay. Morgan: Well, that's your problem. (Source: South Park)

Connor: I don’t *want* to go, I won’t know anybody. Robert: Well, it’ll be good for you to make new friends. You can’t just hang out with your buddy Mark all summer; people will think you guys are- you know- funny. (Source: South Park)

Mark: Wow! Nick and Jared really hate us, Connor. Connor: Yes, perhaps they're homophobic. Mark: But we're not gay, Connor. Connor: We're not? (Source: South Park)

Morgan: I just… I really need the support of my best friend right now… Sarah: Who’s your best friend? Morgan: You are, Sarah! We’ve always been best friends! We know everything about each other! Sarah: What’s my last name? Morgan (walking away): Goddammit… (Source: South Park)

Jonas (to the rest of the Core Six): You know, I've learned something today. Family isn't about whose blood you have, it's about who you care about. And that's why I feel like you guys are more than just friends. You're my family. (Source: South Park)

Chloe: It's a vast, swirling wonderland of sparkling white pleasure. Let it fill your senses with cascading, fluffy pillows of excitement and comfort, as you've never felt before! Kiera: Wow, Chloe, that was beautiful! Chloe: What? I was just reading this candy wrapper. (Source: Spongebob Squarepants)

Chloe: Bye, Jonas! Bye, Kiera! Bye, Brad! Bye, Nate! Bye, Jonas! Alicia: You said “bye, Jonas” twice. Chloe (dreamily): I like Jonas. (Source: Spongebob Squarepants)

Connor: Shut your mouth, you mediocre clarinet player. (storms off to his room) Morgan: …Mediocre? (Source: Spongebob Squarepants)

Chloe (to Alicia): I respect that you don't eat meat. Please respect that I don't eat fake meat. (Source: Teen Titans)

Brad: Winning isn't everything. Chloe: It's just the only thing that matters. (Source: Teen Titans)

Morgan: Would it kill you to smile? Connor: *with a visibly forced smile* Maybe. (Source: Teen Titans)

Jonas: I may not be smart enough to do everything, but I’m dumb enough to try anything. (Source: Teen Titans)

Jonas: So we really are friends? Chloe: Yes. Jonas: And you really think I’m funny? Chloe: Don’t push it. (Source: Teen Titans)

Connor: I’m not creepy. I’m just different. (Source: Teen Titans)

Chloe: Let’s go out and get buffalo wings! Do you like buffalo wings? Kiera: More than life itself. (Source: Teen Titans)

Morgan: How's my favorite sibling this bright and beautiful day? Connor: Shut up. (Source: The Angry Beavers)

Jonas, narrating: That's when it hit me. The best idea I ever had in my entire life! Brad: That's the worst idea you ever had in your entire life. (Source: The Boondocks)

Justin: How come you get to be in charge? Mark: Because I’m the oldest. Justin: Yeah? Well, you’re also the gayest. So I think I should be in charge. (Source: The Boondocks)

Morgan: I love Connor, almost like a brother. (Source: The Boondocks)

Jonas: It was my idea. Nate: No, it was my idea! Jonas: Well, it was my idea to take your idea! (Source: The Fairly Oddparents)

Nate: Who’s the brains of this outfit? Jonas: Uh… Nate: My point exactly. (Source: The Lion King)

Connor: Mark, Mark, I'm only looking out for the well-being of my best friend. Mark: Yeah, right, I'm your only friend. Connor: All the more reason for me to be protective. (Source: The Lion King)

Jonas: I’m sorry, guys. You believed in me and I let you down. Brad: Come on, Jonas. We never believed in you. (Source: The Oblongs)

Chloe: *about Connor* Don't fall for him, Kiera. That boy is scum. Kiera: Then call me Mrs. Scum. (Source: The Simpsons)

Jonas: There's three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Jonas Corbin way. Brad: Isn't that the wrong way? Jonas: Yeah, but faster. (Source: The Simpsons)

Valerie: You'll never get a husband by being sarcastic. Chloe: All right, no husband. (Source: The Simpsons)

Principal Mazlish: I'm surprised at you, Jonas. Surely you knew as you were writing your name in forty-foot high letters on the field that you would be caught. Jonas: Maybe it was one of the other Jonases. Principal Mazlish: There ARE no other Jonases! Jonas: Whoops. (Source: The Simpsons)

Mark: They're cooking kids in our school cafeteria! Valerie: Listen, kids. You're fifteen and seventeen years old now. I can't be fighting all your battles for you. Chloe: But, mom- Valerie: No "buts". You march right back to that school, look them in the eye, and say "don't eat me". (Source: The Simpsons)

Peter: Sometimes, I forget how young you are. Colin: I'm only a year younger than you. Peter: Oh look, you're getting cranky. You haven't had your juice. Colin: Well, my straw broke off in the carton- that's not the point! (Source: The Simpsons)

Connor: What's your mom got against me? Mark: She says you're a bad influence. Connor: Bad influence, my ass! How many times have I told you not to listen to your mother?! (Source: The Simpsons)

Adrian: Kiera, I'm going out. If I don't come back, I want you to avenge my death. Kiera: Alright! (Source: The Simpsons)

Connor: I’d kill for you. Please ask me to kill for you. Mark: No, Connor. (Source: The Simpsons)

Teacher: Connor, what exactly are you rebelling against? Connor: What have you got? (Source: The Simpsons)

Mark: I am the perfectly capable and responsible big brother of the group. Chloe: Can Justin and I have a can of frosting for dinner? Mark: Sure. (Source: The Simpsons)

Mark: I feel like I'm going to die. Connor: We're all gonna die, Mark. Mark: I meant soon. Connor: So did I. (Source: The Simpsons)

Connor: Inside every person is a struggle between good and evil that cannot be resolved. Also Connor: ♫ I am Evil Connor! I am Evil Connor! I am Evil Connor! I am Evil Connor! ♪ (Source: The Simpsons)

Jonas: I'm not a nerd, I'm a jock who's too cool for sports. (Source: The Simpsons)

Lauren: Mom, am I a butch or a femme? Allie: Honey, you can be anything you wanna be. (Source: The Simpsons)

Chloe: Mark eats like a pig. Justin: I don't know… pigs tend to chew. I'd say he eats more like a duck. (Source: The Simpsons)

*At one of Morgan's jazz choir concerts* Mark: Hey, Connor, keep an eye out for the guy with the peanuts. Connor: There's no guy with peanuts, Mark. (Source: The Simpsons)

Newscaster: We interrupt this program to bring you an important announcement. Jonas: It must be really important for them to interrupt a video game! (Source: Tiny Toon Adventures)

Connor: I’m 17 years old and I’ve already wasted my entire life. (Source: Undertale)

Jared: Nick! Pick up your sock! Nick: Okay. (picks up the sock and puts it back down) Jared: Don't put it back down! Move it! Nick: Okay. (moves it two inches) Jared: You moved it two inches! Move it to your room! Nick: Okay. Jared: And don't bring it back! Nick: Okay. Jared: It's still here! Nick: Didn't you just say not to bring it back to my room? Jared: Forget it! (Source: Undertale)

Connor (to Jonas): You're funny, but keep it up and you'll piss me off. (Source: Xenogears)

*Peter and Colin get into a fight* Zane: Come on, you guys. There’s no reason to fight over this. Sarah: Maybe we should stay out of it. I think this is their bizarre way of showing each other they care. Zane: Oh, okay… I just hope they don’t care about ME that much. (Source: Yu-Gi-Oh!)

---

Mark: You know the friendship's real when there are rumors that you're gay dating. Connor: "Friendship" my ass. (Source: Tumblr)

Connor: Anyway, sorry for being mean and gay. Sike! (Source: Tumblr)

Nate: You're living. You occupy space. And you have mass. You know what that means? You matter. Jonas: That's the most inspirational pun I've ever heard. (Source: Tumblr)

Kiera: I kinda have a crush, but I’m a little embarrassed to tell you. Chloe: C’mon Kiera, you know I’m not gonna judge. Just rip that bandaid off. Kiera: It's Connor Urquhart. Chloe: You put that bandaid back on. You put that bandaid back on and you let that wound fester. (Source: Tumblr)

Jonas: Good morning, mother figure. Donna: Good morning, problem child. (Source: Tumblr)

Jessica: It's a truth universally acknowledged that I’m 100% that bitch. (Source: Tumblr)

Nate: 'Knowledge' is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; 'wisdom' is not putting it in a fruit salad. Jonas: That was deep. Chloe: ‘Philosophy' is wondering if that means ketchup is a smoothie. Jonas: That was deeper. Brad: 'Common sense' is knowing that ketchup isn't a damn smoothie, you nasties. (Source: Tumblr)

Kiera: Michelangelo painted this. Chloe: I'm not stupid, Kiera. I know the Ninja Turtles aren't real. (Source: Tumblr)

Chloe: Small creatures are way more vicious. It’s because there’s less room to contain their anger. Nate: That’s ridiculous. Name one example of this. Kiera: Wasps. Brad: Spiders. Chloe: Terriers. Jonas: Samantha. (Source: Tumblr)

Connor: My gender is “pretty boy”. (Source: Tumblr)

Jonas: We played Scrabble. It was a nightmare. Brad: Scrabble? Scrabble's great. Jonas: Not when you're playing with Nate, it's not. He puts down words like "iridium" and I put "pig". (Source: Tumblr)

Connor: I am made of sarcasm and homosexuality. (Source: Tumblr)

Connor: *wears dark gray* Morgan: I see you're breaking out the spring colors. (Source: Tumblr)

Kiera: I'm straight. Karin: Hey. Kiera: So it turns out I'm not straight. (Source: Tumblr)

Alicia: Roses are red, violets are blue…sunflowers are yellow…tulips come in all kinds of colors…daffodils are also yellow. Kiera: Was that supposed to be a poem? Alicia: No, I just like flowers. (Source: Tumblr)

Nate: Being the smartest kid in class is like being the only kid in class. (Source: Tumblr)

Connor: I love you like you're my little sister. Morgan: Connor, I don't mean to scare you, but I am your little sister. (Source: Tumblr)

Nick: Truth or Dare? Mark: Dare. Nick: I dare you to kiss the cutest person in this room. Mark: Hey, Jessica… Jessica (blushing): Yeah? Mark: Could you move? I'm trying to get to Connor. (Source: Unknown)

#ocs #incorrect quotes #jonas corbin's guide to life #long post #really long post #don't press the keep reading unless you have time to spare #my ocs

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twisted-wonderland-but-gayer · 2 years

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I decided the ranking sounded fun so I wanted to do it myself with my Trinidadian family

Heartslabyul

Riddle: Unfortunately... My chaotic family would simply not vibe with Riddle. The boys would 100% make fun of his height and then try and prank him to make him relax which would only stress him out more. The women in my family would love him tho. 3/10

Ace: My family would have a love hate relationship with Ace. I can see him gelling right with them, and also deeply offending them by complete accident. For each person they either absolutely love him or hate him and it would make family gatherings even more divisive. I'm gonna go 1/10

Deuce: They would love Deuce. Everything about him. He's hardworking, loyal, kind, easy to trick in a funny way, willing to help out, knows his way around a sale. Honestly 10/10.

Trey: They would like Trey well enough. He's not chaotic enough and goes with the flow in a way my family wouldn't like tbh. However, willingness to cook and ability to cook delicious food gives him so many brownie points. 7/10.

Cater: My family would love this boy. He's extroverted and loud and always willing to hang out. He would make me go to every family gathering, even the ones I try to avoid. They wouldn't truly believe the two of us are actually dating for a while though so... 6/10

Savanaclaw

Leona: They would not be able to stand Leona, sorry dude. He's lazy and doesn't particularly like children. 1/10

Ruggie: They'd LOVE Ruggie. He's so fun and has this energy that they love. He's so good with kids, and when my grandma decides to stuff him with food he will eat and enjoy it. Honestly 10/10. First time I bring him over they're asking when the wedding is.

Jack: They might find Jack to serious. Adding in I don't think Jack would really appreciate the way family gatherings drain me so quickly and then I have to be there for another 7 hours. He is however, strong and good at sports and sweet deep down. So. 4/10.

Octivinelle

Azul: I hope this is not my bias showing, but I'm pretty sure my family would love Azul. He's smart, a shrewd businessman, successful, charming, has money. Not to mention he's such a good chef he can pick out ingredients by taste alone! After he leaves the first time every subsequent family gathering I get asked "is Azul coming". 20/10

Jade: Honestly, they would not trust Jade. At all. There's just something about him, and his hobbies. He can cook amazingly but no one trusts him enough to eat his food :(. After a while they'd warm up to him but it'd take a WHILE. 3/10

Floyd: Now, here's the thing about Floyd. My family would think he's hilarious. Yeah, they would think he's a weirdo. But they wouldn't take him as serious as they probably should. The problem comes when he gets into one of his moods. See, my families opinion on things like that is clear. If you're not having fun, you put a smile on your face and pretend you are. His unwillingness to do stuff you don't want to do would INFURIATE them. Still like him more than Ace tho. 2/10.

Scarabia

Kalim: Remember how I said Azul would be their favorite. Scrap that. A rich, sweet, funny boy who loves nothing more than a party and is willing to dote on his friends and S/O with his vast riches? They'd find the food thing weird but after having it explained to them, the sympathy points just push them even higher. 100/10, my family would probably be stricter on me than usual because "you don't wanna scare such a catch off!"

Jamil: they'd like Jamil well enough. He's able to be charming, do sports, and cook. 5/10, no notes.

Pomefiore

Vil: they would simply not vibe with Vil. Some people in my family like doing things the wrong and inefficient way and Vil's perfectionist would rub them the wrong way. 3/10.

Epel: Oh no. They would definitely mock his height and his girly appearance. After Epel showed how manly he was it would stop but that initial meeting would be ROUGH. 4/10

Rook: no. Just no. they hate everything about this. -1/10

Ignihyde

Idia: My dad who is a gamer would love him. Some of my family members who are into anime would also really like him. The rest would think it's obnoxious that he would not come out of his room. However, Ortho is an angel and that brings him so many brownie points. 6/10

Diasomnia

Malleus: He's weird but in the good way my family would respect. They would make lighthearted jokes but they would probably really like him honestly. 8/10

Silver: I feel like they wouldn't have much an opinion either way on Silver. I have family members with Narcolepsy so he won't be judged because of his condition. But also, I just don't know how well they'd vibe. Huh... 4/10?

Lilia: Again, they'd make fun of him. But this time Lilia would just joke back with them. They love him. But he's terrible in the kitchen which takes points away. 8/10

Sebek: They would not like him. He's too much a stickler for rules and such. 1/10

//I was gonna write it all and then copy and paste it in two asks but Tumblr treats seperate paragraphs like separate pages so I cannot select more than one paragraph at a time on mobile uuuugh//

Bdbdbdb this so all so funny rip rook and cater.

Also cmoooon. Let Lilia cook for your folks. He's trying to get you that will money.

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mammonswhore · 3 years

Note

Soo what if the MC was suicidal and depressed, so when the boys threaten then and stuff (like how lucifer was gonna kill them when protecting beel and luke) and they don't care or they ask them to do it no balls xD

I like this prompt bc they will be like fucking shocked if MC was not afraid of them. Anyways always remember to check on your mental health🖤♥

Brothers react to an MC who doesn't care about dying.

✒Lucifer

He was in complete shock. Every individual who he threatened was quick to apologize and surrender to his will but this human wasn't?

He dislikes that type of attitude but is also very curious about what happened to them to be this way.

When MC tried to climb up to the attic and he threatened them they just simply said "you know anything can kill me,right? You are not special for that one,Lucifer"

What the actual fuck is going on here?

He forced them to leave anyways but he was thinking about their response all night.

No one talked back to him besides Satan and Belphie and the first person out of his family talking back to him was human. A human! He was annoyed to say the least.

When the relationship between him and MC progressed he become more concerned about it.

He tried to get the truth out of them subtly and without acting suspicious or worried but when they finally said "Lucifer if you want to ask me something, do it. Don't try to get answers out of me that way,it won't work"

When they finally revealed that they were not worried about dead because it will get to them anyway,Lucifer was sad.

He was not only sad because he knew that MC was going to die but because they were not a little bit worried about it.

A sudden wave of sadness gets into Lucifer's chest and he proceeds to hug his lover and tells them that he will take them to therapy.

✒Mammon

He was very happy about MC not caring about dying at first since he couldn't care less and he never properly threatened them as well so they never got to talk back at him.

But once when they were escaping from two witches,MC got hurt and they didn't care at all. Like they literally didn't say shit about the wound on their leg and it took Mammon almost half an hour to realize that the blood he was smelling it was from their wound.

"MC WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING? ARE YOU DUMB? COME ONE,HUMAN! W-WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? I'M GOING TO HELP YOU,FUCK!"

Very stressed out about it,starts yelling about how they need to be careful with their lives because they are weaker than the average and things like it.

"Mammon I don't care about death,I'm kinda craving for it at this point"

His face drops. A sudden feeling he couldn't recognize was placing on him. He was worried but it was not the type he was used to feel around them.

The single thought of MC dying send shivers down his back. He was borried and it was not because Lucifer would kill him but because he couldn't stand that thought.

"Don't go saying things like that,MC... I don't want you to die,human"

He hugs them kinda afraid they might order him to let them die right there.

He is going to look for help and tell Lucifer about it so they both can keep an eye on MC in case of anything.

✒Levi

His first thought when he heard MC saying they wanted to die was "honestly same."

When he was about to kill them on the TSL quizz thing they didn't even flinch. They were not about to run,hide or beg.

When Lucifer stepped in,Levi was fucking shocked but angry at the same time.

"Damn normie,who do they think they are?"

When both of them formed a pact he became more worried about their health,not because they were his master but also his only friend and he was not about to loose them for some stupid shit.

When they hurt doing some stupid shit with him Levi freaks out and has a mini meltdown but tries his best to control his emotions to help his Henry.

"Stupid normie... Can't you be more careful? Dumb,dumb,dumb human... Agh"

He is mad but he is more worried than he is mad so he is trying his best to ask them how are they so stupid without being rude.

He became more careful with his words since he thought that maybe a little push will send them over the edge and make them commit suicide.

Very sharp when others point out that he takes care of them,gets defensive easily and will lock both of them in his room for a while.

✒Satan

He can not properly understand what's going on with them. His first thought is that they are very much dumb.

Gets annoyed by that attitude easily but never looses a chance to asks them if they are really that dumb or if they want to get killed.

"Oh sorry Satan,did my attitude happen to bother you?"

Ugh. The mocking tone in their voice made him furrow his eyebrows and spit venomous words.

"Indeed it does but I can easily understand why are you so reckless,you are defenseless against me and you are still trying to argue with me. I must say you have some guts MC but I don't think it's late for a good reminder that I can kill you easily."

And then they smirked and stepped closer to him with a daring attitude.

"Do it,anything can kill me and I will die eventually so your meaningless threats don't scare me not even a bit."

He was waiting for them to run,to hide and scream for help. But Satan was not expecting that answer.

His demon form unleashed and he was ready to attack but something inside of his his head told him that he was not capable of killing them. And when he realized that he just patted their head and went to his room.

Later on when they made the pact and MC helped him when coming to terms with Lucifer,he was quite scared for their daring attitude.

Every time they went out even if it was with one of his brothers,Satan will check on them with messages or calls every time he could.

To be honest,MC doesn't need this type of checks on them but appreciates it since Satan knows better than anyone how hard it can be to control themselves.

He still gets very pissed off when MC makes snarky comments,dares him for anything or that type of things but he still won't attack them because he loves them way more.

✒Asmo

He is no the type to threaten someone unless they are threatening him first but he was very tired of MC's attitude through the day and he snapped.

"Can't you remember your place,MC? Every single person around can kill you and you still seem to be as sassy as ever."

He was about to apologize with them about his words since he was not the type to talk to them like that but he was surprised when they talked back (again).

"Asmo if you haven't notice I truly don't mind getting killed here,it would be more interesting that dying in the Human Realm to be honest and also everyone is going to die and no one is going to remember me so fuck it."

That was worst. His eyes were very lost trying to figure out where did those words came from? What was going on?

"MC don't day that,please" he whispered very nervous.

Asmo hugged them and calmed himself down. Even for a demon who has seen a lot of people die he was not ready to loose MC and he was also not ready to hear those words fall from their mouth.

"Asmo calm down,please."

"You were joking,right? You don't think that about your life,don't you?"

He might not seem like it but he was completely worried for their health and well being. Being MC the only person he ever considered as a friend and possible lover,he could not stand for what they were saying.

He became more careful with what he said to them and what the others were allowed to say,if someone tried to insult them or make them feel like less he will snap right away of that meant MC will get rid of those awful thoughts.

✒Beelzebub

He threatened them about eating his food but they were unfazed about him,it was the first time he threatened them after making the pact and honestly,his reaction was totally wrong and he knew this and he was ready to apologize but he was shut down by MC's words.

"Do it,I honestly don't care."

What? MC what the hell are you saying?

He calms down and says that they shouldn't say things like that around his brothers because they might explode and actually kill them. He was worried,yes but he was more worried about eating something because his stomach was growling like crazy.

"Why would you say something like that? If it wasn't because we demons can't kill our master you will be dead now,MC."

Beel was stuffing chips into his mouth while watching MC think about an answer, more worried than before.

"I didn't mean to scare you,Beel. But I will die anyways so it's just a matter of time and if someone dared to make it right now I wouldn't stop them."

He feels the chills going through his back, the feeling of loosing someone he loves again was a lot to process and the fact that MC was unfazed and really sure about their words made him feel full suddenly.

"I don't want to loose you,MC. I know that you are a human and all but can't you just take care of yourself a little? I don't want to loose you." *sad beel noises*

Reassuring him that they will try to find help, MC hugs Beel and promises to try to stop this type of comments.

He was still very very worried about them so he was always around keeping an eye and ear on them so no one killed them.

✒Belphie.

This was after the attic events,he was still very unsure about MC's presence on his life but he was hanging on there still getting used to them.

Until they were assigned to wake him up from a 10 hour nap to eat something.

"You dumb human,I will rip your head apart of you wake me up again."

"It's not like if you haven't tried already now wake up and eat something or Lucifer will be pissed."

He was very amused,they were not afraid of him anymore and decided to talk back to him. But he still was shocked to say the least.

The human who he killed once was now giving him orders without a pact or relationship that established that he had to obey them. They had some guts,that was for sure.

When their relationship progressed and he became closer to MC,he was not going to stand for that type of comments.

"MC you can't go around saying that you want to die! It hurts to see you this way, jeez!"

"I can't help it,Belphie. Sometimes my thoughts just slip through my lips without me even trying."

Now that was something he was not expecting to hear. What did they mean? They really wanted to die that bad?

"Listen here you little shit,I already lost you once and I'm not going to loose you again so stop making those stupid comments or I will tell Lucifer to pay you a good therapist... Fucking idiot."

Belphie was worried even if he seems like he was just annoyed by them,he was even mkre worried than what he will like to admit.

#obey me #obey me asmodeus #obey me barbatos #obey me belphegor #obey me diavolo #obey me headcanons #obey me imagines #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me mc #obey me beelzebub #obey me shall we date #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me scenarios #obey me x reader

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hartigays · 3 years

Note

big brain thot: wheezie being the one to get rafebarry together👀👀

“wheeze, you can’t just show up here like this.”

she hasn’t even gotten off her bicycle yet, helmet still in place and everything. she looks up at rafe with big eyes, rolling them as slowly and dramatically as humanly possible.

“i just did,” wheezie points out, unclipping her helmet and setting it in the front basket of her bike.

rafe eyes her warily, then relaxes a bit. his eyes flicker back towards the trailer. “how’d you even know i’d be here?”

“topper,” she tells him simply, shrugging.

“topper?”

another overly-dramatic eye roll. “yes, topper. he came by looking for sarah and i asked him if he knew where you were. i need help with something.”

“and topper told you i’d be here?” rafe asks, brows raised.

topper is a lot of things, but is he the type of person to send a kid to a coke dealer’s trailer? no, absolutely not.

“i encouraged him,” wheezie replies, a little too vague for rafe’s liking. he narrows his eyes and she sighs. “fine, i kicked him in the crotch until he gave it up. happy?”

rafe snorts at the mental image.

wheezie finally climbs off her bike, standing in front of rafe with her arms crossed. “so, are you going to help me or not?”

he really doesn’t want to say yes. but he’s sort of always had a soft spot for wheezie - she’s one of two people who don’t make him feel completely homicidal.

(the other is sitting back in the trailer, smoking a joint and watching some boxing match on his old as shit tv. the thing has antennas, for fuck’s sake.)

rafe glances back at the trailer again, then turns back to wheezie, scrubbing a hand over his face. “fine. but you can’t come inside, wheeze, i’m serious.”

“why, because of drugs?” wheezie snorts, flicking her hair over her shoulder. “please. i’m pretty sure you smoked weed in my room when i was like, five.”

“that’s not the point,” rafe huffs, his fuse shortening ever-so-slightly. “just tell me what you want.”

for the first time since her arrival, wheezie looks mildly uncomfortable. she bites her lip, looking towards the treeline.

“i want to learn how to fight,” she says, and her voice sounds so small that rafe sort of feels… bad.

which is like a new milestone or whatever, so this is sort of a big moment for him.

“why do you need to learn how to fight?”

wheezie doesn’t say anything for a long stretch. then, her cheeks get red, and the words burst out of her. “i’m getting picked on at school, alright? this girl keeps saying she’s going to beat me up after class and i can only hide from her for so long, you know?”

rafe is mildly taken aback, never figuring wheezie for the type to get bullied. she always seemed self-assured and well adjusted, with a sizable group of friends and an active social life. for a middle schooler, anyway.

“what’s her name?” rafe asks, indignant on his sister’s behalf.

if he had to choose a sister to be the target of bullying, it’d definitely be sarah. wheezie, on the other hand, is just a kid. and if someone is threatening to kick her ass, rafe sure as hell is going to find out who.

“i’m not telling you her name, rafe,” wheezie says. “i don’t want you going and knocking her door down to threaten her or whatever. i want you to teach me how to fight so i can hold my own.”

rafe would probably just kill the kid, not threaten her, whoever she is. but he doesn’t tell this to wheezie, biting his tongue for once.

he rocks back on his heels, then sighs, and beckons for wheezie to follow him into the trailer.

wheezie throws her arms up as if to say fucking finally, following rafe inside.

barry is still smoking on the couch, but when he sees wheezie trailing after rafe, he has the presence of mind to put the joint out with an awkward cough.

“you gonna tell me who your little friend is, country club?”

“i’m his sister, wheezie,” she says before rafe can speak, rolling her shoulders back and holding barry’s gaze steadily.

“wheezie?” barry repeats, then laughs, wagging his finger in her direction. “you funny, kid.”

wheezie gives rafe a look, clearly judging him for his choice of company.

“jury’s still out on you,” wheezie tells barry, eyeing him.

barry actually throws his head back when he laughs this time, and rafe can’t help but eye the line of his throat, his mouth going a little dry.

the worst part is, wheezie notices him staring. she raises a brow at rafe. he just coughs and looks away, regretting every decision he’s made in the last ten minutes.

“look, she wants to learn how to fight,” rafe tells barry. “i figured two heads would be better than one?”

“or you just a pussy and know you can’t beat nobody’s ass, rafe,” barry says, reclining back on the sofa, staring at him through heavily-lidded eyes.

“neither can you,” rafe reminds him.

always reminding him. where rafe has failed, barry has too. rather consistently, as a matter of fact.

“fair ‘nough,” barry says after a stretch, leaning forward again. “two heads, then.”

wheezie coughs, and they both turn to look at her. she gives them a bored look. “are you two done having a moment? or do you still need a minute? because i can step outside if- ”

“shut up, wheeze,” rafe groans, pushing her towards the couch.

they spend the next hour and a half discussing fighting techniques, and the cardinal rules of fighting. the ones rafe and barry abide by, anyway.

there aren’t many. they spend the majority of the time discussing technique.

when wheezie gets sick of listening to them yammer on about the different types of headlocks, she starts to get restless.

“oh my god, i didn’t come for the rules of fight club, alright? will one of you just show me how to punch this bitch in the face?”

both barry and rafe shut up immediately, barry’s mouth dropping open in mild surprise.

rafe just snorts, mumbling fair enough under his breath.

and that’s how rafe ends up watching barry do some sort of shadow boxing with wheezie in the living room. rafe re-lights the joint, watching the scene before him in amusement.

“no, kid, you ain’t gotta do all that fancy shit with your legs,” barry is saying at one point, then demonstrates some sort of kick for her.

rafe forgets sometimes that barry has military training, and despite the fact that he gets his ass beat on a regular basis, he’s a pretty damn good teacher.

the joint is long gone by the time wheezie looks at her watch, cursing.

“shit. rose is gonna kill me,” wheezie mutters, fumbling for her phone.

“just tell her you’re staying at a friend’s,” rafe suggests. “it’s too dark for you to bike back anyway.”

“you could always drive me, you know,” wheezie reminds him. then, her eyes flicker down to what’s left of the joint (basically, the filter) and backtracks. “well, he could.”

she’s pointing at barry, and barry shrugs.

rafe, however, finds himself wanting wheezie to stay. dare he say it, he might’ve actually missed his sister.

he’s pretty sure he’ll regret it later, but regardless he says, “we’ll get you something to eat and you can crash here if you’re too tired to go home after.”

something to eat ends up being freezer-burnt pizza rolls, but wheezie doesn’t complain. she eats her food while scrolling through her phone, glancing up at rafe and barry every now and then.

they’re conversing quietly about a drug deal they have set up later, a big one. rafe doesn’t think wheezie is listening, but he also doesn’t notice the way she keeps glancing up at them, her eyes flickering between them with an unreadable look on her face.

and then, out of nowhere, “are you guys dating?”

rafe looks at her sharply and he sees barry do the same out of the corner of his eye. barry’s mouth had shut so quickly that his teeth clacked together, and rafe can see him rubbing at his jaw.

“what the hell, wheeze?”

wheezie raises her hands in mock-surrender, but still rolls her eyes. “it’s just a question, geez. but thanks for the answer.”

“the fuck is she talkin’ about?” barry asks, his gaze flickering between rafe and wheezie.

“you two,” wheezie explains slowly, looking almost bored. again. rafe is starting to think he’s had a bad influence on her. “you’re dating, right? like that’s why you’re always here, right?”

the latter question is directed towards rafe, and he feels his stupid cheeks betray him, burning red.

“oh, right. you’re men, of course you haven’t talked about it,” wheezie sighs, then stands up and brushes invisible crumbs off her shorts. “well, i conveniently have to use the bathroom, so. use this time wisely, i guess?”

then wheezie disappears from the small kitchen, leaving rafe and barry sitting in thick, palpable silence.

“so… what the fuck just happened?” rafe asks when he can’t take the uncomfortable silence any longer, pointedly not looking at barry.

when barry shifts in his seat, rafe can feel it, and he realizes all at once just how close they’re sitting.

“she thinks… “ barry trails off, shifting in his seat again.

“that we’re dating,” rafe finishes, swallowing around the golf ball-sized lump that has mysteriously appeared in his throat.

rafe can feel barry looking at him. he can feel the heat of his gaze, and wow, wheezie is taking a really long time in the bathroom.

“that what we been doing, country club?” barry asks, and rafe looks over at him so quickly that his neck pops.

rafe searches barry’s face for any trace of humor, but comes up empty.

they’ve been practically living together for months, ever since rafe gave up trying to please ward and joined barry’s little side business. and if he really thinks about it, they have lapsed into something almost nauseatingly domestic.

it’s like. like rafe’s been in this weird, fucked up relationship this whole time, and he’s just now realizing it. and realizing, at the same time, that he doesn’t want it to end now that wheezie has gutted them both and laid everything out in the open, where neither of them can hide.

jesus fucking christ, is he in love with barry? barry the drug dealer?

well, rafe supposes that’s what he would call himself now, too, so. maybe it makes some sort of sense after all.

“i don’t think so, but i think we should now,” rafe finally says. he doesn’t know why he says that last bit, it just sort of slips out before he realizes what he’s saying.

but he doesn’t take it back either.

barry is too quiet next to him. the silence goes on for far too long, and rafe is starting to debate internally whether or not he should dump wheezie’s body in the swamp or somewhere off shore.

finally, barry speaks. “startin’ to think you may be onto somethin’, rafe cameron.”

“so is that a yes?” rafe huffs, already feeling exposed enough as it is. he doesn’t need barry speaking in shades of gray.

suddenly, there are fingers wrapping around his jaw, gentler than rafe would’ve anticipated, and then barry is turning rafe’s head and kissing him.

like, really kissing him. rafe feels like he’s being turned inside out, his insides shifting and adjusting, rearranging and adapting to make room for barry.

it’s not a particularly long kiss, but it’s sure as hell the best one rafe has experienced in his life.

“they teach you that in the army?” rafe asks when barry pulls away, aiming for nonchalant but failing due to the heavy rise and fall of his chest. and the fact that he can’t stop staring at barry’s mouth.

barry just smacks the back of rafe’s head, shoving him lightly. “get the fuck out my kitchen, country club.”

rafe is about to respond when the bathroom door opens, and wheezie pokes her head out.

“ugh, thank god you’re finally done. you should invest in a bathroom fan, you know,” wheezie tells barry, “i could literally hear everything.”

she shudders and gags, barry laughs, and rafe vaults himself out the nearest window.

well, he tries to. barry catches him by the waist easily, dragging him back into his seat. wheezie just rolls her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“okay, well, since you’re done being a drama queen, i think i’d like that ride home now.”

#rafebarry #outer banks #fanon rafe and canon rafe my beloveds #thank u for the request!! <3 #my fics #ask #anon

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misspearly1 · 2 years

Text

Be My Redemption

Chapter 1v

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader (y/n)

WC:2.5k

Warnings: NO MINORS 🔞 18+ Content.

Smut, unprotected PIV (wrap it up people) Cum play, domineering Joel. A smidge of violence, then finally fluff and angst.

Two fucking days. It was two days before you could finally look Diego in the eye after he walked in on you and Joel having sex.

Not just any kind of sex though. Joel had you in such a compromising position, revealing every inch of your naked body and his. It was animalistic, rough fucking and there was nothing romantic about it with his degrading remarks when slapping your ass.

Therefore, it was two days before you could finally look into Diegos eyes again.

Even when you did, you saw his eyes contort in disgust. Grimacing with him and feeling uncomfortable, you simply told him, “We’ll talk about it some other time.” Nodding his head, he agreed and you both parted ways.

After a couple more days and spending some time today talking over with Jackie about the heavy embarrassment you felt, she was the voice of reasoning you needed. It shouldn’t feel as bad as it does but Diego is somewhat like your father, in a way. Not just for you, but for Jackie and he was for Solomon too.

So maybe it was as bad as you thought, your dad walking in on you kissing is enough to make you screech in terror, let alone having sex. Jackie tried to use her own experience to help you, “When I was 19, my mom walked in on me receiving oral.”

You laughed, “Nooo. Oh my... What did she say afterwards?” Jackie cringed to you but laughed as well, “Same kinda thing, didn’t look at me for a few days but when my boyfriend at the time came around again, she burst out laughing to us”

Chuckling together while eating your food, the snow that Jackie mentioned about days ago started to come down even heavier, adding to the inches that have already lay on the ground.

Seeing it compact up against the windows, you turn to her, “A few days before she finally spoke to you? Shit, I think we’re gonna have weeks in here to get over it.”

Jackie nods her head, taking a gulp of water to wash the food down before speaking again, “He’ll get over it y/n, he just cares about us. We’re not teenage girls though, we are grown, strong and fearless women - agghhhh.”

Screaming together when Johnny exhaled a terrifying roar, jumping in front of you both from out of nowhere thus, scaring you two.

“Strong and fearless?” he mocked, and then quickly turned around, throwing his hands up in surrender to Diego and Joel, “Relax guys. It was just a spider; you know how fragile girls can be, am I right?”

When he turned back, he was met with the first of your hand hitting him right in the nose. Stumbling onto his back and clutching it, he cried “What the fuck y/n?”

“Don't do shit like that Johnny. Or this ‘fragile girl’ is going to kick yer fucking ass... Am I right?” Standing over him, raging with anger and disappointment in his reckless behaviour, what if you had a gun? You could have shot him. Maybe a punch to his ego might set him straight.

Walking away and feeling flustered, you hear Diego and Joel stifling their chuckles as Jackie helps him off the floor, chiding “You did this to yourself, Johnny”

Finding a quiet spot and now alone, you shake your head to yourself at him again. Then, as you’re sitting inside a window ledge in this Museum, gazing outside at the snow which now looks like a magical winter wonderland, you realised that Joel and Diego were laughing together. Maybe you are overthinking it beachside they seemed fine.

Thinking about Joel and seeing his smile through laughter, you smiled too. He clearly enjoyed the sight of you smacking Johnny in the face, your mind impulsively flashed back to when you were caught having sex with him, grovelling at first, you re-played the moments afterwards and thought....

Four Days earlier -

When Dee burst into the room ready to kill Joel, thinking that he was hurting you, his eyes very quickly averted from the sight before him.

Laying on your front, with Joel piledriving into you from behind, he had the one hand on the back of your head and the other on your hip.

Diego looked away, shaking his head and after hollering a series of sentences in Spanish, he walked out, slamming the door shut behind him.

Burying your face into the pit of your arms, you cringed “Oh my god, Joel. I can't possibly face him after that”

Joel leaned his weight down on your back, eliciting a whine to escape your lips as he was still very much balls deep inside of you, bringing his mouth to your ear, he suggests “Then don’t. I’ll take yer away from here and keep you all to myself.”

Not even able to question what he means as your head is pulled back by your hair. Grinding his hips into you and placing his hand over your mouth, he continues to fuck you. With your moans muffled and your pussy full, he very quickly falls back into that brutal pace from a few seconds ago.

Arching your back into him, he hit something so deep inside of you which makes you squirm with pleasure under his grip. Laying your arm out above your head, Joel then removes his hand from your hair and interlocks his fingers with yours.

Letting go of your mouth and resting his forehead against your temple, he groans deeply “You’re mine, Y/N. See this here....” bringing his hand down to your heat and rubbing your clit, he coveys “This pussy belongs to me, baby.”

“Fuck-fuck, Joel!” wailing out to him as your so very close, his hips stutter upon feeling you pulse around him and so, squeezing his fingers between your own, he coaxes you, “Just like that baby, cum for me...Good girl.”

Wailing out his name over and over again as you climax, you clench down hard and Joels movements falter, struggling to pull out before hot ropes of his cum spring out between your folds and on your ass.

Joel pants above you whilst looking at the creamy white streaks he’s left on your body, seeing a little bit of it dribbling down, he collects it with his finger and swipes it up your slit, near your hole.

“Joel?” Stopping his movements upon hearing your voice, he looks to your confused face and drops his hand, “Sorry baby, I've made a mess... Let me fix this”

Telling you to stay still when you try to move, he goes away to find something and you lay there on the floor, left to wonder. You wonder what was he doing, what was he going to do if you didn’t stop him?

“Stay still darlin’. I got’cha” He assures, after giving you a shock from the cold rag. When Joel had finished cleaning you up, he kisses his way up your spine.

Wriggling from the tickle of his beard, he chuckles against your skin before reaching your face, “Was it too much y/n? I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

Planting reassuring kisses over his lips, you shook your head, no. Then, turning yourself around and wrapping your legs around him as he rests his weight on top of you, even in this position Joel is too tall.

Giggling and then yelping when he rolls over and brings you with him, he lets you rest on top of his chest instead, running his hand up and down your back as your bodies stick together from the post coital sweat.

Resting his hand on the swell of your ass and laying in the position for a long time, Joels body heat was invading your own as you listen to the mellow thumping of his heartbeat.

During the peaceful quiet, you thought more on what he was going to do, you didn’t want to look too much into it but your gut is telling you he was going to push his cum back inside of you. Knowing what that means, your mind instantly pictures yourself with a bump.

Would it even be a good idea to be pregnant? In a world like this... With Joel? Your eyes close upon the thought, ‘I miss her y/n’. His words rung through your mind, reminding yourself that he misses his daughter, it was probably an impulsive thought he had in the heat of the moment. Joel knows himself that pregnancy wouldn’t be a good idea, doesn't he?

Too many questions burdened your brain and after deciding that you should probably just ask him instead of wondering, you brought your head up to speak but stop upon seeing him soundly sleeping. Seeing his face like this fills your body with love, scanning his features with your eyes and admiring every inch of the man.

His cheeks are lightly flushed pink as he sleeps, the crow's feet around his eyes have disappeared and his hair is tousled. Lips slightly pursed as he exhales sleepy breaths of air, you lean up and press a chaste kiss to them and they twitch.

Smiling to him, even though he isn't aware, you lean down and plant one more and his hand on your ass jerks, so you pull back and rest your head in between his neck instead.

Staying awake while he rests, you absorb the feeling of being so close to him and when sleep did eventually take over your body too, you dreamed of Joel.

Dreamt of a different life with him and his daughter but in the early morning hours of the next day, you could feel Joel stir from beneath you.

Running his hand up your back and feeling the cold on your skin, he gently lays you down to the side and gets up. Still asleep but aware, you felt him coming back with a blanket and then spooning you, the heat from his chest immediately warming your back as he slips his hand around to your front and pulling you flush against himself.

Humming faintly in your sleep as he kisses his way up your neck, Joel watches your tranquil unconscious form respond to his touch. Brushing the hair out of the way and looking at your face, he leans down and kisses your cheek, whispering “Please don’t leave me too, y/n” ….

Present time -

A single tear rolls down your face thinking back on those sweet moments with Joel, when he thought you were asleep and unaware of his words. When he was so open and honest. So vulnerable.

Your heart fills with warmth, hearing him say ‘don’t leave me.’ It makes you weep with love and passion for him.

You tried your damn hardest not to turn in that moment right there and hold him tight, to tell him that you won't. But you didn’t, pretending to be asleep and letting him have his private words with you. However, you heart also fills with despair.

‘Too’, the ‘Don't leave me, too’ - That makes you sore with grief, and ache with sorrow, especially when hearing his pleading voice crack at the end, his daughter left him and his brother.

Joel pleaded to you not to leave him too. While you would never leave him, you cannot control the harsh ways of this life, at any given moment you could be killed and your heart breaks at the thought of him being alone again.

You’ve been with Joel for nearly a month now. Surviving with him for nearly 30 days. All those days and nights spent travelling together, fighting to stay alive, fighting to get to Boston and each day you both grew closer together, making love and sharing more details about your former lives... Falling in love.

How can you love a man you’ve only known for such a short amount of time? You don’t know, but that's what this warmth feels like within your heart and your body.

An energy that surges through you every time you see, hear or think of him, even now when you see his reflection in the window coming up behind you, that flow of energy runs through you yet again.

“I'm ok. Just thinking bout everything...You know.” Reassuring him as he expresses a concerned look, he relaxes and instantly knows how that is, how that can be and instead, opts to sit beside you, offering his hand out.

Taking it in your own and feeling him rub circles around it, how can you not feel his love reciprocating back to you. Watching him study you and watching him feel so comfortable, so at home in your presence, how can you ignore that love surge?

With it all bubbling to the surface, threatening to topple over, you can't seem to hold it in any more.

Moving forward towards him and kissing his lips, he feels your sense of urgency and holds you close. Kissing you deeply before breaking It off and looking to you in question.

Cupping his chin and the love you feel giving you that confidence, “Joel... I uhm... I L-”

“Hey there you are y/n, I wanted to apologise for what I did back there.”

Throwing your head upwards and biting your lip in a fluster, you laugh at your failure and turn to Johnny, saying, “It’s okay Johnny. Tell you what, you wanna make it up to me?”

His eyes perk up and he nods enthusiastically, eager to right his wrong and so you emphasise your point by narrowing your eyes, “I would really, really appreciate it, if me and Joel didn’t get interrupted every five fucking minutes.”

Looking sore and feeling terrible, he apologises profusely before leaving. You click your tongue to Joel and he laughs deeply, “Member when you said you might be the bad company?” Smiling to him and sighing, you then laugh too, “Uh-huh.”

Joel mirrors your smile and pulls you to sit on his lap, “What were you going to say baby?” Pausing for a moment and with your confidence now long gone, you lie to him, “Uhm, I was gonna say I like the snow but I'm worried, how long do you think we’ll be stuck here?”

He searches your face for a second, like as if he doesn’t believe you and you feel exposed but then he thinks, rambling “Gosh, I don’t know. Soon as it lets up though, we should try moving, otherwise we’ll be stuck here till the next year.”

“Yeah, that’s what I was thinking.” Joel nods his head in agreement, then searches your face one more time, and asks “You got anything else on yer mind darlin?”

Smiling shyly to him and saying no, he kisses your forehead and gives up trying to find out.

That night when you were both sleeping together, Joel lay in thought. He knows you were going to say you love him, and a part of him wants to say he loves you too. But he is thankful you never said it, for he fears deeply that if either one of you admits that, then he will lose you...

Next chapter, here

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@kirsteng42 @marydjarin @extraneous-trip

#oh joel my beloved #joelmillerfluff #joel miller smut #pearlyfics #follow 👑 share ❤️ enjoy 🍑#enjoyreaders #joel Miller #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel x reader #the last of us #tlou joel #tlou

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