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steyrine-spieon · 1 month

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One day I will stop falling in love with you. Until I do, I'll be thinking of you.

k.b. // laufey, philharmonia orchestra - let you break my heart again

#love #love quotes #quotes #quote #love quote #words #heartbreak song #heartbreak #heartbreak quotes

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steyrine-spieon · 2 months

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The lighting looked good, so here's a little sketch I made :>>>

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steyrine-spieon · 2 months

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THE FIRST FANART OF ME<333

At times, I always wonder if I'm going anywhere with where I am now. But then things like this happen, and I'm reminded of a line from a speech at my graduation. "Malayo ka pa, pero malayo ka na" "You're still far from your destination, but look at how far you've come." And I look back at where I was one month ago. Writing poems hidden in my drawer, taking pictures no one will ever see, keeping sketches hidden in my sketchbook- But now, I've come so far. I'm eternally grateful for all you guys' support. You have all watched me grow as a person. Thank you for staying and for always being there. This is Steyrine Spieon. Thanking everyone for sticking with me.

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steyrine-spieon · 2 months

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I got bored in class, so I decided to do a little piece :> It's a fictional flower I made. I call it "Flareifas" which is an anagram for "Rafflesia" which is a real life plant whom was the inspiration for my sketch :>>>

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steyrine-spieon · 2 months

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What's your instagram

(I use "Steyrine" or "Steyrine Spieon" for all my social medias lol :>>)

#steyrine #instagram

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steyrine-spieon · 2 months

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A not so face reveal (I FINALLY GOT MY LV GLASSES AHHHH I'M SO HAPPYYY)

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steyrine-spieon · 2 months

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Pahimakas

Ako ay isang yugto ng iyong kwento. Nagiisang kabanata na silakbo. At baka sa susunod na habang-buhay. Ako'y iyong tinadhana't pinagtagpo.

Pero kahit na ako'y isang gunita, Ikaw ay naging titolo ng kwento ko. Ika'y naging titolo ng tula't awit. At lahat ito'y iaalay ko sayo.

Mapanuya lahat ng aking gagawin. Gagawin ko lahat, isang utos lamang. Kaya hindi ako handa sa pahimakas. Bigla, bigla. At sa huli, iniwan lang.

Mananatili ba akong tagapinta? Para sayo; lahat ng piesa'y inialay. Ano ang gagawin ko pag wala ikaw? Sino ba ako pag wala ang dalisay?

Ika'y naging buong mundo't pagkatao. Gagawin ko lahat para sa'yong ngiti. Ano ang artista'ng walang paraluman? Isang pagsamo para ika'y manatili.

Nagmakaawa ako't nagsusumamo, "wag mo'kong iwanan, pakiusap lamang!" Ngunit, sa huli, ika'y naging gunita. Mapait na lampas, saan ba nagkulang?

Lahat ginawa para ika'y sumaya. Saan ba nangaling iyong pahimakas? Paano ba harapin ang nakaraan? para maharap ang mapait na bukas?

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steyrine-spieon · 2 months

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Waltz of Four Left Feet - Shirebound and Busking

"Hindi ko naman yata ikamamatay kung hindi ko mahawakan ang iyong kamay."

This song is about being content with admiring from afar. Being content with where they are right now. Being content with not being able to be with the person they love.

"Hindi na aamin. Hindi na aasa. Ako'y maligaya"

These photos were inspired by that song. Burning the letters I wished to give, restraining me from expressing the way I felt, restraining me from confessing.

"Kung wala ka sa 'king buhay, walang kalungkutan"

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steyrine-spieon · 2 months

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"Late Night Phone Calls" By Steyrine Spieon

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steyrine-spieon · 2 months

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And then suddenly, all my parinig, reposts, shared posts, stories, tweets, and playlists were all about you.

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steyrine-spieon · 2 months

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Tila Tala

Mga tala sa langit, Nakikita mo rin ba? Ang buwan ay kumikinang Sa iyong mga mata. Oh, aking minamahal, Nakikita mo ba yung bitwin? D'un yung titig mo, Pero sa'yo 'ko nakatingin. Daming tala sa langit, Ang lahat kumikinang, Pero sa paningin ko, Ang ngiti mo mas lamang. Liwanag ng bitwin noh? At ang ganda, ganda, pa, Pero mas maganda araw ko Pag nakikita kita. Liwanag nga nung bitwin. Ilaw yung binibigay. Pero pansinin mo lang ako, Mundo ko'y nagkakulay. Aking mahal na sinta. Ngiti mo parang tala. Lumiwanag mundo ko. Ikaw aking tadhana.

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steyrine-spieon · 2 months

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I got nothing to post, so here's a soft launch of myself >-<

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steyrine-spieon · 2 months

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Icarus

I cried as your wings started melting. Must it always be a tragedy? When your pride soared too close to the sun, And you fell to it’s tempting glory.

And Apollo caught a glimpse of you Before you toppled of your winged throne, The sun fell for the winged mortal boy; For he saw the mortal who had flown.

And as Eros released the arrow; It struck Apollo hard in his heart. Apollo mourned for his beloved, For you were a living piece of art.

The ocean engulfed your dead body, As the sun god looked down with despair, Your hubris brought you your misfortune, It’s no secret that love isn’t fair.

So when you fell to the sea below; Sad, golden, droplets graced the water. And Eros let out an evil laugh; ”I guess now you can’t be together.”

Blinded with rage and vision blurred red; The child of love and poetry fought. Apollo came out victorious. But his heart stated that he was not.

For a section of it was missing. And it was down in the depths afar, Apollo may have won the battle; But Eros’ arrows won the war.

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steyrine-spieon · 2 months

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Things I can never tell you

In the quiet corners of my mind, where secrets softly weep, I watch you from afar, in shadows dark and deep. You're the melody in my silence, the color in my gray, But I dare not speak my truth, lest our friendship fades away. You're a masterpiece, a painting I can't touch, A constellation in the sky that I admire so much. But it's like fragile glass, I fear to make a crack, I'm scared of breaking what we have, and not get it back.

Your laughter's a melody that echoes in my mind, So I stay silent, leaving feelings behind. For fear of shattering the fragile bond we share, I bury my feelings, pretending I don't care. So I watch you from a distance, like a silent ghost, Admiring your laughter, the thing I love the most. But you'll never see my desk drawer full of unsaid letters to you, Each word a confession of love, long overdue. You're the ink in my pen, the color in my sky, You're the inspiration of this poem of mine- Perhaps it's the fear of losing you, or the fear of what could be, That keeps me locked in silence, bound to secrecy. So I'll continue to watch you, from the safety of my dreams, Where love knows no bounds, and nothing's as it seems. And though I'll never speak the words my heart longs to say, Know that you'll forever be the sun that brightens up my day.

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steyrine-spieon · 2 months

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Hand in hand, they danced through time, Each moment etched in rhythm and rhyme. But fate, relentless, had its own decree, Unraveling threads of their destiny.

As seasons passed, the boy began to stray, Memories slipping, fading away. His laughter, his touch, once cherished and dear, Now lost in the shadows, nowhere near.

Yet she, with eyes like a crystal sea, Held every detail, every memory. Every smile, every whispered word, In her mind's gallery, they still stirred.

She watched him drift, a silent ache, As he struggled to remember, to forsake. But her heart, a keeper of moments divine, Clung to their love like a lifeline.

"You had short term memory since you were a kid, But I had photographic ones," she bid. For though he may forget, and time may fade, Her love for him would never degrade.

Memory Loss On Memory Lane

(2024/02/17)

When a relationship is broken, one of the many things we lose is mutual recall.

We all get nostalgic feelings from specific things, perhaps a place, a scent, or a song. For many of us in my generation, TV theme songs can be a real kick down sentimental memory lane.

Lately, part of my late night routine involves the TV being turned on to Catchy TV, and the show “Newhart” – not the “The Bob Newhart Show”, where Bob Newhart plays a psychiatrist, but “Newhart”, where he plays the owner of a little inn, in Vermont. For me, there is something very emotional about the theme.

The emotion connects directly with my ex, Elizabeth. But here is the catch; “Newhart” ran from 1982 to 1990. I did not meet Elizabeth until 1990. As such, the bulk of the show ran during a previous – and most unsettling – marriage. The nostalgic tug of the theme does not bring up any of the negative emotions or associations with the first marriage. The feelings the theme brings up are tied to Elizabeth.

Elizabeth and I were big fans of “Twin Peaks” when we first met. I have a very strong emotional response to that theme song. “Twin Peaks” premiered in 1990. My memory of it and Elizabeth is crystal clear. But my memory of Elizabeth and “Newhart” is non-existent. I have only the emotional tug of the theme to give me a clue. And when I look at the dates “Newhart” aired, she and I could have only watched the last season together, or perhaps reruns. That said, I do have a vague recollection of us discussing the college drinking game, “Hello Bob”, where everyone is required to take a drink whenever someone says “Hello, Bob” during “The Bob Newhart Show”. Likewise, there is a nebulous memory of discussing the fun characters Larry, Darryl and Darryl from “Newhart”, but these memories are so foggy, I could have had those debates with anyone.

Oh, how I wish we could have remained a friendship connection, to email each other or to be able to have a dinner every now and then. I do send her a happy birthday email every year, and I give her a Christmas gift every year – secretly place by her door around midnight on each Christmas Eve, with the card signed, “ . . . Santa”. The three dots represent, “I Love You”. She knows who “Santa” is, but she does not know what the dots mean. Fourteen years now, Santa has left his gifts. Fourteen years, and she has sent me a small gift of her own, sent via my daughter.

In 2023, for the first time in those fourteen years, I did get to see her and talk for a bit. Her cheer and bubble was as effervescent as ever. She looked happy, and healthy, and honestly, beautiful. She had moved into a new house, and had an old family clock from my Dad that she no longer had a place for, and she wanted to return it to me. I crumbled in the meeting. I was not emotionally strong enough, but all this is a bit of a digression.

Would that I could ask her, “Did we watch ‘Newhart’ often?” As a couple, you have more RAM and even more ROM – your hardwired memory is larger, and your randomly accessed recall is greater. When a relationship is broken, we lose so many things. At times, like my first marriage, the breakup was the beginning of a new life. I was reborn. The breakup with Elizabeth has left me feeling old, feeble, and forgetful.

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steyrine-spieon · 2 months

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I whisper your name at night

In the shadowed corners of my heart, Where secrets dwell and tear apart, I harbor a love forbidden, unseen, A flame that burns, yet stays serene.

From afar, I watch you, like a star, Admiring your light from where we're far, Bound by chains of society's decree, A love that's whispered, yet can't be free.

Your smile, a beacon in the night, Your laughter, a melody of delight, But I linger in the shadows, alone, For our love is a seed that can't be sown.

And if loving you was a sin, I'd be persecuted for it, within, Forbidden fruit, too sweet to taste, Yet in my dreams, it's your embrace.

I yearn to hold you, to feel your touch, Yet fate's cruel hand has dealt it such, We dance in circles, yet never meet, Two souls adrift in love's deceit.

So I'll admire you from a distance, dear, Holding onto love that's bound by fear, For in this world of rules and lies, Our forbidden love silently cries.

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steyrine-spieon · 2 months

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A symphony of sorrow hope

In the tranquil depths of solitude's embrace, Where shadows loom with a weighty grace, In the patter of falling rain, My soul entwines with grief's domain.

Echoes of a distant yesteryear, Whisper softly, drawing near, Memories cast like shadows long, In the dance of flickering candle song.

Each tear, a silent cascade of pain, Each sigh, a mournful refrain, A subdued melancholy veils the air, As sorrow's grip unwinds despair.

Love once held, now slips away, A fragile thread in twilight's sway, Fading to gray as night descends, In symphony with hearts that mend.

Oh, sorrow's touch, a piercing blade, Through the depths of soul it wade, In darkness, spirit's shuttered door, As sadness weaves its haunting lore.

Yet in the darkest hour's plight, A glimmer of hope ignites the night, A distant light, a beacon's call, Promising solace, standing tall.

For even in sorrow's deep embrace, There lies a beauty, a saving grace, In tears that fall like gentle rain, Love's enduring duty to mend again.

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