every time i start missing how my body looked when i had an ed i remember i was scared to eat TOAST 💀💀 like i deadass had NIGHTMARES about eating toast w butter and jam. are u hearing this i was LOSING MY SHIT over TOAST bro 😭😭😭 im not going back to that are you kidding
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a reminder that when you are distancing yourself from people, situations and things that are toxic, but were a great priority in your life in the past, there will be times when you doubt if you could really do it. there will be times when you would want to crawl back to the comfort you had known. it may get lonely. sending love to all those people who are trying their best to hold up the choice to cut off toxic things even when the decision feels so utterly bitter. i want to remind you that there is no shame in missing the person, the situation or that thing, craving the comfort, wishing that things were different. there might even be instances where you fall back to the familiar patterns. and life will continuously show you why it didn't work out, continuously try to remind you that you deserve better. please do not shame yourself for struggling with this love. the lesson cannot be forced. the journey cannot be fast paced. let things flow. i promise you, at the end of this journey there is win, and there is a better future with people and places and things that truly belong to you and that you truly deserve. it can be a very lonely time, and i know that it's gnawing. it is painful. i am sending you lots of love and strength your way ♡
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🌻
here to remind you...
...to take a deep breath
...to relax your jaw
...to take a sip of water
...to close your eyes for a few seconds
...to roll out your shoulders
...to stretch your legs & arms
...to take another deep breath, and
...to give yourself a gentle smile
take more of these mini-breaks throughout the day. you deserve them ✨
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So much love and recognition to the people who don't know how they feel about recovering. To the people whose scars are fading away, and there's a sinking feeling, despite knowing that it's a good thing. To the people who miss when they were "worse," when they felt "broken." To the people who mourn losing their coping mechanisms, even the ones that were destructive, scary, or unpleasant. To those who feel guilty they're healing because their past self wasn't ready.
Whatever it is, there is nothing wrong with any of those feelings. It's a natural reaction, something you don't have ultimate control over. There is nothing shameful about yourself, and I admire the strength it takes to recognize how you feel, even the parts that do feel like the "wrong" reaction to a Good Thing.
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The universe decided that I have too much smut left to write, and spared my miserable existence. Thank you to everyone who reached out to check on me both here and on discord, and even in ao3 comments. I made it 🩷🖤
I got an emergency appendectomy. I am miserable and hate everyone. Don't look at me. My updates are coming as soon as I can.
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lancer hot take GO
1. CRIMINALLY underrated as a key player in the narrative. so often in fan content, he’s relegated to comic relief when in reality his character arc is the fucking CO-FOCAL POINT of ch1 (alongside susie’s)
but where susie learns that opposition isn’t always the answer, and it can lead to her hurting people she loves, lancer learns that the authority figure in his life isn’t omnipotent and perfect and he can stand up for what he knows is just. he can question the adult in his life he can BE HIS OWN PERSON and he doesn’t have to feel like he’s not good enough. fuck. not personal or anything prommy (lying)
2. i think he should be allowed to KILL. queen will livestream it. shit would be funny as fuck
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best way to normalize bodies after having had your brain rotted by thinspo and photoshop and looksmaxxers and whatever else is going to a swimming pool. so many people there with so many types of bodies, just existing and being content. very healing if you'll allow it to be
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Not sure who needs to hear this but don't ever let shitty parents shame you out of using the health and wellness resources that are available to you and that you need! Fuck parents who medically neglect their children! Don't wait until you're 26 and then try to solve all your health problems on your own. Take care of it while you're younger, if you can! The necessary care isn't something to be denied of. Do it now so that by the time you're 26 preventative issues aren't as terrible
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🌻
here to remind you...
...that if things seem too stagnant right now, then maybe it's time to take a little break.
a change in routine, a little relaxation, or even a short trip can break the monotonous circle that we sometimes get stuck in.
allow yourself to switch gears. it's okay to go slow sometimes. let yourself relax ✨
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