#i have my own conflicted feelings about this because objectively i am healing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bwobgames · 1 year

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Ángel stabs him, he takes out the knife to let it bleed out

"We need to take him out of the house"

"Ángel! Over here!"

Nadia opens the door to one of the rooms

It's the same room where they were last loop

"What...?"

Nadia enters and opens... the window?

They take him, he's struggling

They are going inside the room

Are they putting him into bed?

"Oh"

"They are going to drop him"

They are in the window frame, Eugene is struggling against them.

He could fall at any moment

"They... They are going to kill him. Forever, no looping

That's...

I don't want Ángel to be a murderer. He's already gone through so much.

And Nadia! She's too young to have this in her conscience, her own dad..."

"This is not fair to them"

Oliver Beebo is a man who cares about what's fair, even if it disagrees with the law

Nothing about their situation has been fair, so he does what he thinks it's best.

He runs to the window

And pushes the man himself

"Ángel and Nadia don't deserve something like this in their souls

I can take it.

It comes with the job"

They hear him hit the ground

They look down

He's not moving

"Even if he survives the fall, the blood loss and the cold temperatures should be enough to kill him.

He's... he's pretty much dead

Forever"

Beebo takes his phone

"He's... He's to the side of the house. I'm going to hang now. We'll be out in a little bit"

He has... conflicting feelings about this situation

Is this fair? To be killed forever against multiple killings that technically never happened?

Ah, his therapist is gonna have a field day with this

"So... he tripped and fell, right?"

"Wha- Ángel!"

"Yeah Ángel, how did he get stabbed if he just tripped? We need to add something about self defense"

"I mean, he did try to kill us. We have enough proof all over our faces"

"And the bombs, don't forget the bombs"

"Alright, listen! When we get out and reunite with everyone, we'll agree with a story"

"Because it's very unlikely they'll believe there's a time loop"

"I say we tell everyone it was something really stupid, like he thought this was the first floor or something"

"I don't think that's plausible"

"No, no, it has merits"

"... Maybe having you two get along was a bad idea"

"Wha- Im not getting along with him!"

"My love, you offend me. How could you- YOUR FACE"

Ángel looks at Beebo's bloddied face

"Are you okay?! Did he get your eye?! Can you see?!"

"It's okay, it was just my eyebrow"

Ángel takes the end of his scarf and brings it to Oliver's face

"Is it healing?! Did he hit any arteries?! Quick, do you feel nauseous? Light-headed? What's your blood type?!"

"Ángel, I'm fine. It's already healing"

"Put pressure on it, you don't have any coagulation problems, do you?"

"I don't, do you?"

"Huh?"

Oliver takes the scarf

"Look, you are bleeding too"

"Oh. Oh yeah, that explains some things"

"Here, I'll try my best. Tell me if it hurts, okay?"

He cleans the blood off Ángel's face

"I'm sorry about your scarf, and your jacket, and the future scar this will leave."

"It's okay, It looks good on me, and we'll match!"

"And I can just take a few millions from Coli's company for my clothes"

"Hey!"

"What? Is compensation for the damage"

"What will you do after that?"

"I don't know, maybe a stay at home husband for one lucky man"

"A very lucky man"

"You two do realize the first floor is on fire, right?"

"Oh. Oh yeah"

"Oh fuck, the fire, yes"

"Nadia, make a rope with the bedsheets from here to the patio and get out as soon as possible. Call everyone to get there"

"Got it"

"Wait, kid"

Ángel takes out the photobook of his pocket, it's a little battered

He gently bops the book against the top of her head

"Ta-da, the gift of knowledge"

"... I am very glad he died now"

"Hah, we are not so different, then"

"Die"

"Of course of course"

She goes to the bedroom

"Okay, now we just need to find a nice sturdy object. Like a femur"

"Like a what"

Beebo goes through the rooms, he finds a piece of wood

Probably for future renovations

"Not as great as my good friend femur, but I shall love it all the same

Oh wood, thank you for allowing the deed we are doing today. Your companionship is-"

Ángel takes it away from him

"Huh?"

"Ángel? What's wrong?"

"Aside from everything that has happened tonight"

"Do we really have to destroy it?"

#somehing about cleaning the wounds of your beloved etc etc #save Nadia she didnt ask for this #detective beebo

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applefan28 · 2 years

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For the character ask, Apple? :))

YEAAAAH WOOHOOO APPLE TIME YAAAAY YIPPEEEE :D

read more cuz this ask got long lol

Sexuality Headcanon: besides the obvious Lesbianism, she's also very much Aromantic. apple always struck to me as someone who never really thought about romance/relationships as an option for her, nor did she really Get the idea of what it is (given her lack of social context, not understanding her own emotions, misreading others' intentions, need for attention, and alienation). with an already existing complicated stew of how you perceieve the word and how it treats you back, you're bound to not feel in the same way as alloromantics do (coming from my own experience). she values just about anyone not hating her, maybe even liking her (in her definition "they don't think i'm annoying! wow!"). she's a very lonely girl that really just wants others or even just one person to give her any form of attention to not prove she's a nuisance, and that she's not a bad person. apple is, also very gay, it's very funny to me :) her attraction to women is never really questioned by herself as much as gender is (which isn't a lot either), but she is also quite easily smittened by a Very Pretty Girl walking by her or Rarity MLP. tldr; apple inanimate insanity is not immune to a very pretty/hot girl talking to her in interest for more than 5 minutes (marshmallow) Gender Headcanon: bottom line, she's a trans girl that doesn't really think too much about her gender or anything, but she knows well what her situation is. i think as a kid, she never had the whole "i wish i were a girl/why am i a boy" conflict, but rather just saw herself as just herself. actually i remember briefly talking about this to my partner a while back in dms, here's a screenshot of what i would've typed up lol:

not to mention, her being a very online person allowed her freedom in expressing herself in the way she knew herself as. apple has full awareness of how she’s perceived by others, and the treatment she gets from it at times. i think the older she got, the more she started to somewhat internalize it and turn it into a form of self hate, so she just dealt with that perception (as much as she hated it). online however, was a different case. she was able to be more open about herself, have her ponysona be a girl, play as a girl on webgames, have herself be known as a girl because that’s what the truth was to her. when it comes to transitioning and all that, it could go two ways depending on object or human. if an object, it’d be more comedic in that upon applying for inanimate insanity with the gender question, she just continued to roll with being a girl and thought “yeah... YEAH! i AM a girl!” if human, during one of her occasaional stews of “why am i weird”, she’d probably search that up on google dot com, and somehow end up on a forum or page about being transgender. with that it all just clicks to her “wait, that’s an actual thing? i can just, BE one?” such case would alleviate her self negative view about her gender because not only is she not weird or the only one that feels that way, but she’s actually right about her being a girl! apple isn’t so much hung up on the specifics and terms and labels all that much, nor has transitioning ever been on her mind, gender has always been as nonsensical and confusing as romance anyways. what mattered was that she isn’t Weird nor Alone on it, she’s simply a girl named apple :) A ship I have with said character: MARSHPLE... ah man where do i begin with them. as much as i enjoy the lovey dovey mushy gushyness of their romantic ventures, what i enjoy the most is their persons and how fitting they are for the other as they’re both so so unwell <3 it’s just so, fitting for the two yknow? they fill what the other lacks in, they’re both some of the most hurt individuals in inanimate insanity, they falter and wilt and grow and heal together, man they just have it all <3 and speaking on the apple side of this, it’s just. super interesting and at times touching? with how it is on her end. i adore the unhealthy aspects of marshple and it’s timeline, and how it’s connected to the unwellness of them two, especially apple. like, this girl is so full of symptpms and the way they’re displayed immensely in the marshple timeline? impeccable. i hate when others make marshple to be apple’s only defining trait, but you can’t deny that marshple is essential to apple’s character as it explores so much about her. as you see apple go through the motions of emotional dysregulation and attachment and fears and anxiety and self hate and so much more, you come to realize how apple is this sad lonely girl that just wants someone to not only give her attention and patience, but to not leave her for once. marshmallow provides that and more. she was probably the first to have given her more than what apple was used to (which mightve confused her a bit), not only have willingly spent time with her, but as we know from canon, is patient and tries her best to understand her for the better of them two. and it is not a two way street at all, there’s so much apple provides for marsh out of genuine care and love for her. idk. marshple is just great and i could go on about them and apple’s character in regards to it but this is way too long already </3 A BROTP I have with said character: HUGE enjoyer of dough and apple <3 to me, they sorta fulfil this “older sibling” role for the other in some way, and it makes sense given who they are and what you could headcanon about their own familial life. i’ll be going more onto the apple side of their relationship and save for dough’s side for another post since this is an apple centric ask like i said, apple fills in a sibling role for dough, and she does so out of the fact she subconsciously sees herself in him and cares for those who aren’t at least bad to her. everyone at the mansion has their fair share of emotional problems and something dough and apple share is feeling left out of things/alienated for being weirdos. i’d often think about this tweet during the Bow Twitter Event of 2017:

there’s just something sweet and trustworthy in vulnerability about dough confiding in apple about his personal feelings with his sibling quarrel with bow, and apple being the sorta middleman for them two. not only does she listen and console, she goes out of her way to tend to dough’s issues. she deeply loves and cares for her purgatory family, and only wants them all to be happy! sure, there’s that hint of her being a people pleaser and attempts to keep others happy while ignoring her needs, but at the end of the day she would probably jump in front of an oncoming truck just to save dough (even though he’s dead already). in turn, while not going too in depth with him, dough does provide back some missing needs apple has left out on. again, they’re both weirdos with a creeping sense of alienation, and dough to put it simply, is no stranger to being aware of this (unlike apple). for sure, he’d try his best to include her in on some stuff and help her and himself feel less alone :) also another brief thing about them: apple and dough are THE animal caretakers of the mansion’s minifarm when apple starts bringing in random farm animals. they’re also both internet forum users and have their fair share of interests (oldhead dad rock music for instance) and it’d be funny if dough were a closet mlp fan who once apple starts being talkative about mlp, he’ll go to her and the two would just become these like mlp buddies doing whatever :) A NOTP I have with said character: any guy honestly </3 #lesbianappleftw A Random Headcanon: apple would SO love the mario galaxy series. she's not a gamer by any means, i think she'd suck at it, but that doesn't stop her from enjoying the space-y themes and music :^) given apple probably grew up in the countryside far from the city, she already has full exposure to the bright night sky and all it's beauty. not to mention, i think given how often she'd feel alienated and "weird" from others around her, i think she'd find solace in space. like a sorta far away home she's connected to because she doesn't fit in with the rest here. this is brought up even more during her stay at idiotic island, where once again she's met with lonliness and the stars in the night sky. apple had no one there, only the thoughts that would challenge her already low self esteem, so of course she'd find even more comfort knowing the stars and planets and comets and beyond looked down from up above and watched over her. it's become a sorta personal thing to her in that if she's out and looking up at the sky, she'd probably be lost in thought but at some form of ease and belonging for once. apple is pretty competitive, so she will game for a good bit (and be bad at it), but her main takeaway from mario galaxy is the overall comforting atmosphere it provides to her. she’ll mainly roam around the comet observatory, starship mario, or miscellanious worlds with the music on up and sorta take in the tranquility of feeling at home. not to mention, her softie lil heart would be very taken by rosalina and luma’s story (and smittened by rosalina because ahhh pretty lady) General Opinion over said character: she’s ok i guess

#^^^ thats my apple humanization in animal crossing btw hehe #asks #ii apple #inanimate insanity

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voyageofthenautilus · 1 year

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Some thoughts on Captain Nemo & Prof. Aronnax

Some recent discussion got me thinking about this, and with the start of "The Indian Ocean" and the second half of the book, I thought I’d toss out this very general thought and let other, more intelligent people than myself pile onto it, if they’re so inclined.

So the universal experience of reading 20k Leagues is that we all fall in love with Captain Nemo, right? I sure did when I read it as a kid (as did my fellow mod). I don’t think I’d encountered a character like him before. Part of the novelty was how mysterious he was. Before I read the book where his backstory is explained in full, I had no idea what had driven him to reject human society so thoroughly, and the ambiguity was delicious. Another aspect that was new to me was how enjoyable a character he was, while not being heroic or even morally good. I remember feeling conflicted when I was young about what it meant that I liked characters like that- characters I found compelling, but who objectively were not good people. There were more characters like this that came into my life through the years, but Nemo was definitely the first.

The first time I read 20k Leagues as an adult, I saw in Nemo traits that I recognized from a person I’d once known in real life- a horrible manipulator. The violence he causes also stood out in stark contrast with my fond memories of the character. In remembering only the more alluring aspects of Nemo’s character, I had completely wiped out the parts of him that actually made him interesting to me in the first place. Even now, as we go through this story in real time, my memory of loving the character clouds his actual actions. I’ll read one of Nemo’s impassioned speeches and start nodding along, then realize… what am I agreeing with, here? The misanthropic ravings of a bitter man who won’t let himself heal from his trauma and has found perhaps the absolute worst coping mechanism? And why am I trying to reconcile the unsavory aspects of Nemo’s character, as if I need to justify my interest in him? (There’s a whole argument here about what it means to like morally complex characters and how Nemo fans would be cancelled on TikTok if this book had been released in modern times, but putting aside those half-joking thoughts…)

All of this is to say… I feel like anyone who falls in love with Nemo as a character is experiencing something similar to what Aronnax is going through. Because as I said, Nemo reminds me of a manipulator I once knew, someone who had a certain charisma about him and was able to draw people in with his larger-than-life personality and entertaining stories, who also took advantage of the effect he had on people to unfortunately hurt them. I don’t think Nemo is necessarily trying to draw Aronnax in, at least not from the start, but the way he singles him out and shows him all of the Nautilus’ technological marvels during their very first official meeting, then exerts his dominance over him by refusing to see him again for an extensive period of time (making Aronnax wait for him), and also the thing with the panels opening at just the right time to dazzle Aronnax, Conseil, and Ned with all these visions of undersea life feels so calculated and intentional, even though I know there was no way that Nemo could have heard their conversation… All of this reminds me so strong of the behavior of that person I once knew, and it makes me feel deeply for Aronnax and see him as a victim. Aronnax is so dazzled by the abundant resources available to him and by Nemo himself, the mysterious Man of the Waters, that he’s willing to stay aboard the Nautilus and overlook the implications of atrocities that Nemo is almost definitely committing. This mirrors my own reaction as a youngster (I was 12 when I first read this book) to Nemo and Twenty Thousand Leagues as a whole, where I ended up overlooking the dark aspects of Nemo’s character, and the deeper underlying themes of the novel, in favor of OOH THE SEA IS SO COOL and oooooh edgy genius with a submarine (lol). I think this is also similar to the phenomenon of people falling in love with villainous characters and making excuses for them because they’re cute or have a tragic backstory.

And this can be tied in to real life and how a comfortable life can lure people into a state of apathy and selfishness. I recall a time I knew someone in a creative field who repeatedly expressed racist and sexist views, and the people who worked with him claimed not to agree with him but still chose to work with him because the opportunity and benefits were too great. This is what I find the situation that Aronnax is in as the second half of the book begins reminding me of the most. Aronnax knows that something unpleasant is going on, and he knows at least one of his companions doesn’t want to stay onboard the Nautilus, and he knows they’re all truly prisoners. He’s aware that should there be an opportunity for him to escape, his companion will take it, and he doesn’t want to leave him behind. And he also at least has a strong enough sense of self-preservation that he knows escaping would be good for him, too. But he also admits that he doesn’t want to end this underwater tour of the world, and I can imagine that he doesn’t want to reckon with the idea that this person who has taken him in and opened up an entirely new world to him of wonders and beauty could be committing any unjustified acts of violence. And in my eyes, it’s not just about the voyage- Nemo himself is so compelling to Aronnax that even though he KNOWS he shouldn’t trust him, he allows himself to overlook that because his knowledge, his intellect, and maybe even the enigma itself attract him.

Just wanted to push those thoughts out there like a kitten batting a ball. I can’t describe what a valuable and enriching experience it’s been so far to not only re-read this book as an adult, not only read (for the first time) a marvelous translation that restores the full text of the book, but also to share this experience with others whose insights push me to examine the text with a more critical eye and, in turn, examine my own thoughts/feelings/reaction to it.

#thoughts from mod blue #voyage of the nautilus #meta #Captain Nemo #perhaps i am way off base here idk #i wrote this before the most recent update based on my recollections of the way the plot was going to go #but today's update changed some stuff for me

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thegoldenshi-shi · 1 year

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Sunny Simp Anon here!

I had ordered the zine when preorders first started and when I saw that you were in the zine many months later i got very excited!!

I took a pic and sent it to Smooch and shared the rest of the art with them and their friends and we loved it all and I love what you did with Jazz ans Prowl!!

The officiator: Any one object?

Prowl: *silently glaring*

Jazz: *had a cannon* :D

Also they look so good and I want to frame your art on my wall but I cant because it’s in a book but it’s so pretty and I love it and i want to hug it but it’s paper and akskdldkdk

Many conflict here you see

Also personal update myself, I probably didn’t do good on one of my exams today because i forgot there was an exam and I didn’t have my book and it was open book and so like, i didn’t do good but it is what it is

Also I want to hold your sideswipe so much, he is such a pretty boi and when he pops up he overtakes Sunny for a minute and is the star of the show and he knows he’s a pretty boi and will use it

I want to hold him so badly and domestic soft thoughts are my enemy cause I want them to be happy and heal from their pain and they are twins and they know each other the best and they went through hell and back and deserve good things!!!

Let Sunny become a famous artist again, let Sideswipe help with selling his brother’s paintings and also maybe own a lil bar and stuff also Bob being his cute self and get doted on and Sunny also maybe makes vent arts and let out his pain

I do personally headcanon that Sunny makes some vent arts but keeps some of them secret cause he doesn’t want to worry Sides too much with how he feels and it helped to just draw it out

Also me and my friends in the JazzProwl discord server made a lil meme thing into a bug angsty au and then we talked about the future after they mostly heal and it was from dark and angsty and stuff to more fluffy but still some angst(it’s with the Elite trine but i am gonna ask if we wanna include other ships and other lil stories besides the elite trine’s)

Anyways! I hope to be in your inbox again soon but some smaller things jn my life came up that needed my attention so I had to focus on those for a lil bit but i will return

-Sunny Simp Anon💛

Oh! You ordered a Monochromatic zine?

That's so exciting! I just got mine a few days ago~ I'm so happy to hear that you like my piece! I was really nervous about it because it was kinda spoofy compared to the others. It's pretty silly even by my normal standards hehe As far as my digital work goes, Sideswipe has been given so much love lately. It's great that his "pretty boi" status has been recognized. I purposefully designed him to look more friendly and open, so if he's making you think soft domestic things then I have done my job correctly hehe. On the subject of Sunstreaker's art habits, I think all artists make vent pieces at some point, writers and other creative mediums too (I know I do). So Sunny does probably have some pieces squirreled away here and there, I agree. I'm glad you're having fun on the JazzProwl server, and hope you get through whatever requires your attention now.

Don't rush through anything, I will still be here when you get done hehe.

#sunny simp anon #thank you for the ask #i'm still working through the fanfics atm #and don't feel bad about your test #I think we've all done something like that at some point #I skidded into my college chemistry final like 2 minutes before starting time because I read my clock wrong #thank you for telling me you'll be quiet for a while

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nevergeneralize · 2 years

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“Nice try but I’m not adulting today”: the Millennials of Sk8

It’s really delightful to me that the grownups in Sk8 are recognizably millennials and I was really pleased by the way the show employs the visual hallmarks of my teen years to establish the flashbacks to the youth of the last generation. Feels like Officially becoming a Media Adult

Like obviously I am no longer the shonen target demo / main character being well out of my teens and that is not new, but I’ve been in a weird gap because Media Grownups have still seemingly been gen-Xers, aesthetically and values-wise (retro = the 80s, for seemingly forever), and that’s not me. But these Manic-Panic-haired Hot-Topic-shopping X-Games-watching sk8er bois absolutely are:

Kaoru was edgier in his youth than I would’ve dared in my own but I sure did have those bangs. Look at his eyeliner you could cut glass with those wings!!! He’s serving Avril Lavigne and I just know he’s got Death Cab or his local equivalent playing in his (wired, on-ear) headphones. This is ostensibly a school uniform but I wanted identical trendy skinny plaid pants so bad

Note the wallet chain and the aggressive side part which TikTok would have me believe is no longer cool?? This nice young man will go get a Godsmack shoulder tattoo at chef school and it will become part of his personal brand when he moves back to his hometown and decides to maintain a quirky high school hobby at great personal injury risk and what must be a disastrous sleep schedule situation. He’s somehow the best-adjusted man in all of shonen

And I know there’s not even a full generation between the two groups of main characters (as the show itself constantly jokes by way of Shadow’s objections to being called an old man) but they are separated by life-phase-dependent narrative trajectories: Reki and Langa and Miya are in coming of age (cough first love) stories, Kaoru is in a healing from old wounds story, Kojiro is a mentor figure (does he have character development or just a rockin bod?? Who’s to say) and Shadow is also mentor/supporter/team-mom. (Ainosuke is an important exception which I will discuss in a separate post; he’s in some ways belatedly coming of age.)

So the older group feels narratively/functionally like The Grownups but they are aesthetically My Peers. It’s kind of wild! “Feel old yet?” Yeah I do, finally, thanks! Congrats on graduating to anime adulthood my fellow millennials!

I’m sure there’s tons of other media where my generation is represented this way but this is the first one I’ve really noticed, maybe because it touches on a specific subculture that evokes my experience of youth, or maybe I don’t watch that many things set in the present anyway. Who knows. I think my particular delight in this experience also has to do with how Sk8 treats coolness and how the adults (at least The Founders) still get to have it. Maybe also the fact that the show’s characters get to be generationally differentiated but not at odds for that feels fresh to me; there are clearly marked aesthetic/narrative differences but they’re not hinging the conflict on the grownups being out of touch or the kids being immature. That feels a little bit utopian, actually, and opposed to a particular strain of discourse that paints Gen Z/The Youth as incomprehensible to the “olds” and separate from millennials, who should implicitly start to identify instead with more traditional values and attitudes, i.e. those of our parents. In fact I would argue that Sk8 actually models that identification with outdated parental values via Ainosuke and his family, and frames it as sad and toxic and villain-making, but we see a healthier alternative in the core squad, where Reki jokes about Shadow being an old man, and Joe and Cherry bemoan the kids joining vacation, but it’s lighthearted and we get to have fun joking about age/generational differences without it creating conflict! Found family/intergenerational dynamics without manufactured parent-child tension, except for fun at the beach! Neat! (Also the actual parent-child dynamics of Langa and his mom are pretty great)

So it’s cool to see my specific peer group’s aging represented without any suggestion that it should necessarily mean generational conflict or value-stagnation, or even uncoolness or the trope of inevitable adult boredom and the loss of youthful freedom and joy. We can have our own millennial culture AND separate adult narratives/problems AND solidarity with younger people AND empowered fully-realized maturing selves with fun hobbies! I can see myself in the Media Adults in a piece of media that’s got a pretty optimistic view of what adulthood means and I think that’s neat.

#sk8 the infinity #good luck with those student loans kaoru and kojiro #they’re just like me fr #meta #sk8 meta #which I did not expect to be writing lol #I’m joking about joe’s tattoo being a godsmack tattoo … or am i #i just thought of a whole bunch of stuff about skating as fandom what with tadashi and reki’s scene but #this post is long enough already #what have i wrought #i came here to bully joe and cherry for being stereotypes (out of aesthetic envy obvs) and now #here we are #hundreds of words of this #too many thoughts but head still empty #also thinking about miya and how gaining competency can be painful #this show has a lot going on for being a sports anime that disregards almost every fact about its sport and also physics

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boughs-of-berries · 1 year

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You know what? I’ve changed my mind I WILL be elaborating.

Dean as “The Soldier”: There will come a soldier, who carries a mighty sword / He will tear your city down, oh lei oh lai oh lord

I feel like this is the most obvious one. He was raised to be the perfect soldier, told not to question his orders, and used as a weapon. The description from the quiz says “Righteousness. Strength. Violence. You see a door and break through it. You wonder, sometimes, if anger is the only thing you can feel. Remember : love is passion too. You made your own rules and will follow them to death. You try and forget that there is only one rule, and that it is ‘FIGHT’. You are tired of fighting. You try to forget that, too, and keep going. You dream of quiet. Your love is where you heal. God knows you deserve to”. If I didn’t know any better, I would’ve said that that was written specifically about Dean ‘The Righteous Man’ Winchester. How many times have we seen throughout the series that Dean believes that all he is is anger? Has he said that he is tired of having to fight? In the confession scene, Cas says most of the stuff about how he isn’t just anger, but rather love. It is through Cas confessing his love to Dean that Dean is able to start healing, and we see that in 15x19, when Chuck tells Dean that he is “the ultimate killer” and Dean responds that “that’s not who I am”. There is a question in the quiz that asks what duty is, and the possible answers are “Violence”, “An Excuse”, and “Undeniable”. I believe that these answers are for the Soldier, Poet, and King respectively. For Dean, as the Soldier, duty is violence. All he has ever been needed for is as a weapon, so for him that would be all he knows. I know that some people may argue that Dean as as much if not more so a proponent of free will, and ergo he would also say that duty is an excuse, but it’s not that simple. Dean is far more likely to go along with what he feels is his duty, not because he’s a brainless soldier who just does what he’s told, but rather because he will follow his duty if it’s not something he is morally objective to. Dean is also more likely to feel guilty for abandoning his duty, especially if he thinks that doing so would hurt someone. Take for example Dean refusing to say “yes” to Michael. He knows that if he says “yes”, that millions of innocent people are going to die. He is obviously very opposed to this idea, so even though it’s his duty, he refuses to do it, as opposed to something like hunting. Dean agrees that bad monsters need to be stopped, he has the training to do so, and if he doesn’t do it then people would be hurt, so even if he doesn’t necessarily want to, he does his duty.

Sam as “The Poet”: There will come a poet, whose weapon is his word / He will slay you with his tongue, oh lei oh lai oh lord

Sam often gets labelled as the “Brain” to Dean’s “Brawn”, and while Dean isn’t stupid, and Sam isn’t weak, those labels don’t come from nowhere. Sam is more likely to use his words to talk his way out of a problem, or use communication to avoid conflict in the first place. He also leans more heavily into using magic and spells in a fight, and is often the one who performs exorcisms and the like, literally slaying people with his tongue (and also the women he kisses tend to die lol). The description from the quiz reads “Loneliness. Strength. Joy. You are powerful, but struggle believing it. You think you're not enough. Here's the truth: you are. You sing songs and hope they carry faith, because you have run out if it, and yet you still throw your heart out to the world and hope it makes it through. You convince yourself that pain is art because at least then, you will always have something to create. You are tired of stumbling through life. You dream of a ground you can stand on. One day, you will dance. Your love is where you feel - without fear”. Especially with the demon blood in early seasons, Sam believed that he was tainted, and couldn’t be good. In later seasons, we see a Sam who may seem drained but always tries to have faith, and have hope that things will still work out, because if he doesn’t then who will? For Sam, duty is an excuse. Sam is a heavy believer in free will, and thinks that you always have the option of choosing something else. It may have been his duty to hunt, but that isn’t what he wanted to do, so he left to go to school. If you use duty as an excuse for why you did something, then there must be an underlying reason for why you really did it, because you never have to follow duty.

Castiel as “The King”: There will come a ruler, whose brow is laid in thorns / Smeared with oil like David’s boy, oh lei oh lai oh lord

Literally “The Man Who Would Be King” himself, Castiel fits the description of the King perfectly. Going by the lyrics first, you could argue that this is the section with the most direct links to Christianity, and the Angel one fits that way. The crown of thorns and part about David’s boy are ties to Jesus, a son of God, and Cas, as an angel, is a son of God. Taking the crown of thorns line without the religious connotations, it matches his arc in season 6 really well. Just like how a literal crown of thorns would cut you, Cas was torn apart in every way in receiving power; physically, in his body deteriorating, mentally, under the pressures he was under, and emotionally, by having to compromise on his morals and values to try and win the war. Castiel was a commander in Heaven, and as we see throughout the show he isn’t afraid to make difficult decisions and he accepts whatever consequences may come as a result of them. The description from the quiz reads “Duty. Strength. Resignation. You were told to do things and you did them. The world is something that was put into your hands and that you must deal with - so you will. You have a rigid back and steady hands, either metaphorically or physically. Is it nature or nurture ? You don't know. You are tired of being steady. You dream of feeling alive. Not that you aren't, but, sometimes, it's hard to remember that there is a heart between your ribs. Your love is where you breathe. Come on, breathe. In. Out. It starts now”. Once again, a description that feels like it was written about Cas. For millennia, Cas followed along with what he was supposed to do. Even when he rebelled, he continued to do what he was supposed to, it was just that his moral code was aligned to Dean. In season 4, we see that Cas is beginning to feel, and throughout the rest of the show he highly values keeping those emotions and tries to encourage them in other angels. In the confession scene, Cas tells Dean that it is because of Dean that he even knows how to feel and love in the first place. Anything he loves is intrinsically tied to Dean, because without Dean he never would have loved. It is with Dean that he is the most free, and that is where he can breathe. For Castiel, duty is undeniable. While he does agree that you have the option of making any choice, whatever one you make will always be your duty. For countless years, his duty was to Heaven, so all of his choices revolved around that. When he rebelled in season 4, he wasn’t abandoning his duty to Heaven, but rather his duty was shifting to align to Dean. When he betrays the Winchesters in season 6, it is because he feels he has a duty to fix Heaven. Castiel believes that you can’t escape duty, all you can do is change what you are duty-bound to.

#castiel #dean winchester #sam winchester #spn #supernatural #tfw #team free will #destiel #soldier poet king

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neutralexist · 1 year

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on platonic love and introversion - 1/23

I’ve given up on any semblance of effort in my writing - outlines, pre contrived subject matter, or relevant “hot topic” chatter, and am instead focusing all my literary energy on something much simpler - life. Specifically, my life, as that is the only reality I grasp enough to have deep, pervasive thoughts about.

So what has January brought me? At first I was thinking (endlessly) about the idea of home - what is it, how do I capture it, is it an achievable object or emotional environment/state of being? - then considered waxing poetic about my experiences with romantic love, past, present, and future in a preemptive examination of February. But these topics seem to be more ongoing explorations: things I have not yet settled into or pursued sufficiently to fully understand. So, I have instead settled on the exploration of two not entirely separate topics, but ones that I understand to be different to the aforementioned ideas: Platonic Love and Introversion.

While I deem most self-prescriptive terminology clumsy, lacking nuance, and overly saturated online these days, I am, or have become, an introvert. And I think this shocks people.

Upon meeting, I am endlessly and embarrassingly chatty, witless and witty - a far cry from the shy, word-stumbling “introvert” popular media so desperately clings to. And while that expression of myself is me, it is also equally not me. There is so much to the carefully constructed social facing Lily - not for manipulation or show or networking or clout or any other surface level thing people adjust their social personas for - but simply for energy. I, for as much as I enjoy, love even, being with others, do not feel like I fully exist within these interactions.

I fully, deeply love my friends - wholeheartedly and authentically (really starting to dislike that word, “authentically”, but in this case it rings true). But I am not undone by my friends. And I am most myself when I am undone. Raw, unmonitored, uncurated. I struggle often with my own earnestness. I am aware of, even practiced in, withholding earnestness from others because I’ve been made aware it’s draining for others to have to bear me, the whole me. So I detach. Against my nature, I detach. Instead, emptying myself.

Introversion has become the… tool (?) to navigate the consequences of my own openness. I don’t think introversion and earnestness are inherently in conflict, but over the years, I have done more than pit them against each other; I’ve put them at war. Being alone is my white flag, surrendering to both and to neither. It allows time to reflect on and heal the damages of war.

In all my earnestness, I love my friends, endlessly, but I am not wholly undone by them.

“It's not about looking at each other

But together in the same direction”

Ultimately, this speaks more to my ability ( or lack thereof) to recognize and comfortably exist in the simple love of others. I have been thinking about the quote above lately and have found it unbearably resonant of my own habits. I tend to look at others, across times, places, emotions, thoughts, and only note the vastness between it all. Is love - platonic or otherwise - not a two way street? An act of multiples? I’ve been so blind to the love of others, friends particularly. Is it not better to look at something and glean the possibility of a differing view than be disappointed the beauty is not fully, single mindedly shared? Perhaps, the beauty comes from being able to share all the lovely parts.

Suddenly, I am feeling much like Dickens’ infamous Ebenezer- Waking up on the final day, hoping it’s not too late. I have not always been this way - introverted, blind, and hyper, overly intentional. I strayed, became disoriented. I lost my ability to feel love from others, to allow myself to receive love from others years ago - though my ability to see love has been untouched. Is platonic love not the foundation of all abilities and forms of love? If I call out and someone answers, is the act of answering not as important or perhaps more important than the answer? Why haven’t I been listening? I was deafened. I remember the blows. I have noted and can trace each misleading path; My only hope now is to undo it.

Earnesty is not a crime. Openness is not a battle. They are small things, allowances of insight and beauty. They are things to be experienced through others in tandem with oneself. Maybe feeling is less draining when you allow the feelings of others to fill the space left behind. When I call, there is an answer. What a beautiful thing it is to have an answer… something to think about, something to reckon with, something to savor and take in and fill with.

One can only be undone if aware of the doing. Friendship, platonic love, is the doing.

Introversion is a state of being. It can change. It can be undone.

#writing #imlilyjane #ljane #lljanee #introversion #platonic love #love #personal writing #essay #Mine

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findingmyselfatm · 3 years

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Chiron series? Yesss, now let's chat about mercury-chiron

Usual disclaimer: I am no professional, take what resonates. Some observations are strictly personal and subjective, and may slightly touch of sensitive topics.

To find out your Chiron placement, go on astro.com (make an account if you don't have one) and click on Horoscopes. After that, under "Drawings & Calculations" you will find the extended chart selection. There, choose Chiron from the additional objects.

Chiron represents out deepest wounds that will never be completely healed. It also represents pain, but not necessarily unfortune. Where Chiron is, you will become wise in that area and grow into the "wounded healer" archetype. Mercury is our mind in astrology, communication, the way we think, our intellect and mental energies.

Mercury-Chiron aspects:

Mercury-Chiron brings pain and wounds to one's mind and intellect

These people might not feel smart enough, and have trouble communicating

They can be shy to express their thoughts

But that's because they might have been shamed for their opinions, or other people have talked over them in the past

They may cringe more easily at themselves lmao-

They may suffer from intrusive thoughts as well

depending on the modality, I believe their thought process is somewhat irritating to them. If cardinal, they may feel like they're too rash or impulsive. If mutable, ever changing and may have trouble building up on ideas, meanwhile if fixed, they're, well, fixed, too rigid and mental blockages type of beat (Disclaimer, this isn't necessarily true, it is just how they feel towards their minds in my opinion)

others may have pushed their own opinions onto them more than they should have into their formative years, therefore these people can encounter problems in finding their own

I also think Mercury-Chiron would be the type to listen a lot to emotional or sad music

their thoughts may torment them a lot. To elaborate on this, everyone suffers from some negative thought patterns, but I think Mercury-Chiron aspects have some core issues with this. It's like their own thoughts work against their desires or wants.

But that's why I believe people with these aspects would benefit a lot from therapy, cognitive therapy especially

words of affirmation may be one of their love languages

but for real, I have a larger theory on this. You can make someone feel better by complimenting or reassuring their Chiron placements (among others, of course). For example someone with Capricorn Chiron may feel very appreciated when someone calls them hard-working

I think Mercury-Chiron makes for a good lie detector, because they have dealt with many lies themselves

they may have conflict with siblings or cousins

like Venus-Chiron, these aspects tend to distract themselves from their issues but in a different way

with Mercury aspecting Chiron, natives may try to rationalize their trauma rather than actually healing from it

so they move on way too quickly sometimes

I believe Mercury-Chiron makes someone a good shoulder to cry on too. When developed they offer logical advice and look at problems with an understanding attitude

they can attract liars (more prone with harsh aspects imo)

Standing their ground in arguments or debates might be difficult (especially paired with an amiable mercury like Cancer or Libra and so on)

Mercury conjunct Chiron blends the two objects together. This placement has a more logical approach to their trauma, but may also refrain a lot from talking about it. They'd make great psychologists, as they can easily understand negative emotions with an objective mindset. Troubles may arise when it comes to voicing their opinions on standing their ground. Dealing with trauma is done in a detached way, which may also create some problems of escapism and not taking the issue face to face emotionally

Mercury trine Chiron is a positive aspect. The objects here work together, bringing an air of peace to the sorrow of chiron. I believe that this is similar to Venus trine chiron, great people to open up to, as they have a natural talent and instinct to be welcoming of others' perspectives and opinions. However, they might have a tendency to brush off negative feelings or rationalize them too much.

Mercury sextile Chiron is another harmonious aspect. Like the trine, it eases Chiron. These people are understanding, but also sincere with their advice. Less of a tendency to run away from negative feelings, as they take most things with a rational and calm attitude.

Mercury square Chiron is our first negative aspect. The two energies try to work together, but have a very difficult time to do so. That being said, people with this aspect have a hard time fitting their way of healing with their way of communicating. They may feel constantly misunderstood, or like they simply cannot express their distress the right way. Pushing down feelings is also big with this one, or perhaps subconsciously invalidating emotions. Positive part is that there is a lot of potential to nourish the talents of mercury-chiron. These people can be tolerant of a lot, and seek to understand rather than judge at best. I have this aspect, and I believe the key is knowing yourself first, and allow your emotions to be felt.

Mercury opposite chiron is another negative aspect. It creates imbalance in between the two energies. Feeling either too emotional, or too rational, people with this aspect can suffer a lot from chaos. The balance always tips, so that's why active effort is required. Both sides of the story can be heard, and create a much needed perspective to the world that is both rational and nourishing. I have a friend with this aspect, and man, you guys really give out great advice and make people feel heard (that is, when they finally listen to you, because I noticed most of them have a tendency to just overlook your opinions).

On an end note, mercury-chiron connects wounds with the mind. At times, it may all seem foggy, like you simply can't escape it, but it won't always be like that. Understanding yourself and how you work is optimal, and remember, don't be too hard on yourselves <3

#chiron #mercury-chiron #mercury trine chiron #mercury square chiron #mercury sextile chiron #mercury conjunct chiron #mercury opposite chiron #mercury aspects #astro notes #astrology observations #astrology notes

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mindibindi · 3 years

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They are destroying Rebecca’s character this season and this Sam bullshit is the final nail in the coffin for her. What the f*** are they doing to their female lead ??

Well, I suppose this is the danger of offering resolution early in the piece and why so few television writers do it, particularly when it comes to romantic relationships. Because then there is the looming question of What Happens Next. So many writers prove that, while they may have the imaginative juice to create, they don't have what it takes to re-invent.

Whether you understand her as the protagonist or the antagonist of the first season of Ted Lasso, Rebecca's big revenge plot drove s1, gave it a clear narrative arc. This inaugural season likewise gave her character a clear and compelling arc. You could posit that, while Rebecca's pain drove season 1, Ted's pain is meant to be driving season 2...? But whatever Ted is going through does not have as clear-cut an objective so it is not giving the same sense of cohesion or direction. Within her s1 arc, we got to see Rebecca feel angry, frustrated, victorious, smug, thwarted, conflicted, heart-broken and vulnerable. Last season gave Hannah Waddingham so many opportunities to show the range of her skills as an actor and I still hope she wins an Emmy for this performance. But I doubt she will be winning any awards for her performance this season.

Most situation comedies stick to the same situation, snapping their characters back to where they were at the beginning of each episode. Certainly, this formula can become repetitive and dull after years. Ted Lasso received a great deal of praise when it broke this formula by offering resolution at the end of its first season no less. It broke the no-hugging-no-learning mantra of so many sitcoms when it allowed Rebecca to learn from her trauma, come clean and literally embrace Ted as a valuable part of her life. Since her character went on the biggest journey of the season, the question of What Happens Next was always going to be more significant for her than it was for any other character on the show.

Season 1 of Ted Lasso made me fall in love with Hannah Waddingham and the character of Rebecca Welton. But as much as it pains me to say it, in s2 she is nothing like the problematic powerhouse we met in s1. Her friendships with Keeley and Higgins continue on nicely enough. She's had some good moments with characters she had little interaction with in s1, like Roy and Nate. And it was great to meet her mother and god-daughter. But this fleshing out of the character is mostly work around her rather than work that propels her forward in any meaningful way. I understand that some people may be content just to watch Rebecca living her best life after the intensity of last season. But, for me, the pursuit of heterosexual romantic love by a woman to the exclusion of all else is a problematic aim since women have been told for centuries that securing a man is the single most important thing they can achieve in their lives.

Rebecca wants love and doesn't want to be alone. She's stated that, that's canon and that's fine. But romance seems to be Rebecca's ONLY aim, her single focus. We haven't seen her do anything in her role as club owner except make a phone call and look sharp, which I admit she does well. The woman looks INCREDIBLE. But if you are in your right mind (at least in my opinion), you are not expecting this amazing woman to end up with a pretentious windbag, a hot booty call or a wildly inappropriate youngster. So it all seems a bit aimless, purposeless. All of this dithering about with wrong dudes is just a waste of time when we have limited time with these beloved characters. We know we are only getting three short seasons of this show and I don't want to spend a full season watching a previously complex female character stare at her phone, only ever prompted into (questionable) action by her cute best friend. And I DEFINITELY don't want to watch...whatever the fuck they think this thing is with Sam.

Frankly, I am still flabbergasted that they have chosen this path. They genuinely seem to think that their audience will enjoy this as some hot romantic adventure...? And hey, a small but vocal minority are. Some diehard fans are trying to hold onto their faith with white knuckles. And the rest of us are just over here in compete and utter shock at the suddenness of the decline in this show's quality and ethics. The latest justification some fans are rather desperately grasping at seems to be that Rebecca's actions stem from her trauma. Now...okay. Trauma can be responsible for many things. But not this. Trauma can make you act in v strange ways but I don't see the connection here. I can clearly see how Rebecca's trauma from her first marriage dictated her actions towards Ted in s1. That is a very clear line to draw. I can see how, after her disastrous marriage, her judgement may be off and she may go for someone like John Wingsnight: someone safe, solid and appropriate. Again, a clear line to draw. I can also see why she would indulge in fun, shallow sexual relationships with the waiter in Liverpool and her booty call from bantr. All normal, understandable behaviour for a woman in her situation. And a v clear narrative line for the writers to draw. No problems there. Her actions in each of these cases can be traced back to Rupert and his abuse. But I cannot for the life of me draw a line between Rupert and Sam. As a traumatic reaction, that does not make a shred of sense to me.

It's true that sometimes those who have been abused become abusers, not that I'm saying Rebecca is abusing Sam in this scenario. What I am saying is that most trauma survivors will go out of their way to avoid becoming anything like their abusers. Most survivors try their damnedest to break the cycle of abuse, not perpetuate it. Most victim-survivors will act, sometimes even to their own detriment, to spare others from being impacted by their pain and trauma. Trauma and abuse does not break your moral compass. If anything, it makes it stronger. Trauma and abuse heightens your sensitivity to what is right, just and honest. Having seen Rebecca ultimately unable to follow through in her trauma-inspired revenge plot on Ted, it does not make sense to me that she is blindly (without any of the nuanced inner conflict of s1 Rebecca) allowing her trauma and abuse to lead her into a situation that not only emulates her ex-husband's hurtful, unethical behaviour, but endangers what is now supposed to be so valuable to her.

All the press for s2 as spruiked Rebecca as a dating disaster but enthusiastically committed to her club. There is a huge difference, however, between charmingly, comedically 'messy' and inept to the point of self-destructive stupidity. I just don't buy her as this dumb. Yet here she is, after all her dealings with the savage British press last season, endangering the reputation of herself, her club and one of its most vulnerable players. Oddly enough, the Rebecca we saw in s1, with her many layers and nuances, seems to me to be a far more moral (not to mention interesting) rendering of this character. This Rebecca was motivated by injustice, she had an acute understanding of what was and wasn't right. It's why she conceived of her revenge plot and also why she ultimately dropped it. It is one thing for writers to propose that there are multiple steps on the way to healing. It is one thing for them to lead a character into a dark forest full of conflict and complication. But, from what I can tell, some people don't know the difference between a dark forest and straight-up bad writing. And it really fucking shows.

#ted lasso #rebecca welton #hannah waddingham #sam obisanya #ask #whoops another long post without a cut #sorry not sorry

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obeiii-mee · 4 years

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I am not sure if the request is open- fanfic or headcanon an angst of mc sacrificing her life to return Lilith to them and lilth come back so she told she's only here becuz the mc bought her back how would the demon brother cope with it- it is okay if you don’t want to write it :)

I haven’t written any angst yet on this blog so I don’t really know how this is going to turn out. I don’t know how MC would be able to bring Lilith back so I’ll just figure something out as I write along. It’s hard for me to write the brothers suffering help me-

I want to make it clear that I don’t know if it’s possible for a human to do something like this but for the sake of this request let’s roll with it. Lilith is back and MC sacrificed their life for that to happen. I really don’t think any of the brothers would react well because Lilith and MC aren’t the same person. They love both of them very much but they wouldn’t be able to make one suffer just to bring the other back. All the HCs are related, happening on the same day, in the same way. Lilith reuniting with her brothers one by one starting with Lucifer. Hopefully this makes sense but I don’t really have my way around words so——

This is obviously too long so I won’t be able to write for all the brothers in one post. Instead I’ll write about Lucifer, Mammon and Levi in this one and then continue this on another post. So this is part one. Thanks for the request!

Pt. 2

————————————-

The Brothers Reacting to MC sacrificing themselves to bring Lilith back, Part 1:

Lucifer:

-OK, realistically speaking, it should have been impossible for Lilith to be brought back. She lived as a human and died, that’s it, you can’t reverse something like that. But you really didn’t want to give up, seeing the way the brothers acted whenever the topic of their sister was brought up was too much for you to handle. So you kept looking and searching for spells, magical objects, anything you could get your hands on that could help. You even spoke to Solomon about it in secret, away from Lucifer’s prying ears. You were too determined to be swayed away from the task.

-Of course, after a long time of searching, you found exactly what you were looking for. And of course in order for Lilith to be brought back to life once again, you would have to give something in return; your life. It was a hard pillow to swallow but after hours of arguing back and forth with yourself, you decided to do it. For the sake of all the brothers and their happiness. It wasn’t the quickest of deaths but it definitely didn’t hurt nearly as much as it should have. And once your soul had officially been diminished, Lilith was given a tangible body and teleported to DevilDom. That also meant that she was completely aware as to why or how and she wasn’t exactly happy. It was an indescribable moment full of misery and despair for her. She was back and her descendant payed the price for it.

-Lucifer didn’t really believe his eyes when he first saw his long dead sister on their couch, supposedly staring at nothing. He first assumed that he was daydreaming which seemed like the most rational option at that point. Due to all the paperwork he had to finish by the end of the week, he had been rather sleep deprived and it made sense that he started hallucinating. After all, Lilith was on his mind quite a lot. But then she noticed him and she sprung into his arms before he could even get a word out. It always used to be like this. Her running straight into him just to show her affection back when they were both angels and happy.

-She was real, not a dream or a fiction of his mind and he didn’t know how to feel about it. He was torn, as if all of his emotions were threatening to come out at once and he didn’t know how to handle that. Lucifer uses logic for every situation he finds himself in, but this time, it was thrown out the window. It didn’t matter why or how or when. All that mattered was that she was here and he got to see her again after all these millenniums of dealing with the slow torture of having to carry the burden of her death by himself. He was ready to go get his brothers, the rest of his dysfunctional family and obviously MC had to come along too, them being just as important to him as everyone else. But Lilith grabbed his sleeve.

-His sister told him everything. Ranging from MC’s sacrifice to her waking up in DevilDom and to her wandering around until she found the House of Lamentation. His brain stopped working the moment the words registered with him as Lilith rambled on with her story. He almost wanted to ask her if she was joking but he knew her better than that; his little sister was never one to joke about something so grave.

-Lucifer always knew that their exchange student was a bit of a nutcase and definitely special in their own way. Considering how often they went to the extremes and overdid every little thing that had to be done. But this...this was something entirely different. They gave up their own life for them, for Lilith to come back and they did this because of him and his siblings. The second time MC had been ripped away from him, without even the satisfaction of saying goodbye because they were way too good for his family and for DevilDom in general. He wanted to scream and cry and curse his father even more so than usual for this cruel turn of events. Any more of this emotional suffering, and his heart may as well stop pulsating. MC died and he couldn’t help them in any way, he couldn’t stop them from making this mistake because he had just gotten over Lilith’s death and had begun to heal from the trauma. And now you left him as well.

-Lilith forced him to sit down and let him deal with his internal breakdown while she thought this out. At this rate her brother was either going to wind up in a blind rage and pop out another Satan or drown himself in depression and anguish. But Lucifer, despite the range of emotions conflicting him on the inside, tried remaining as calm on the outside as possible. Lilith was right there. He shouldn’t cry in front of his sister, he never did. He was always supposed to be the role model, be the strong protector that she could lean on if she needed help. With a single tear running down his cheek, which he quickly wiped away, he got up, abruptly much to the protest of Lilith and began walking toward the door.

-He had to tell his brothers. The news would break every single one of them and he couldn’t do anything about it. He had the responsibility of going to every single one of them and privately discuss this because god knows what chaos would ensue if they were all in a room together with Lilith. He would have to talk to Lord Diavolo, get another exchange student down there but...not yet. Not yet. He had to tell his siblings first. His younger brothers that he swore he would protect with all of his being since he couldn’t do so with Lilith. And now he had to go and break their hearts while his own lay shattered on the floor.

-But first, he was going to go and cry by himself, locked away in his room, so he can regain the power of speaking with everyone properly. And he would just have to accept the fact that MC will forever be stuck in his heart, with no means of getting them out.

-Who would have thought a human like you would stir up these feelings within me?

Mammon:

-It was his fault. It was always his fucking fault. Whenever something bad happened to you, the first person Mammon blamed was himself. How could he not? He was in charge of you after all, he was supposed to be your protector and guardian during your stay in DevilDom. Honestly, at first, he didn’t really care about you. Your whole existence and the fact he had to babysit you was irritating more than anything. But it didn’t take long for him to get attached to you, he fell and he fell fast. Soon enough, he was about ready to just dedicate his entire being to you (and money, we don’t forget about money). You were his human. So how did he fuck it all up?

-That day, he was supposed to be with you. At least one of the brothers had to be with you at all times, per Lucifer’s orders, to make sure you could circulate DevilDom without getting killed. He had one job to do. Follow you around until you got bored and wanted to go home. Then, since you were left with the rest of his brothers, he could go do his thing. But a modelling gig had come up rather abruptly and he had to go get ready for a few shots. Mammon, being a simp great companion and actually a lot smarter than people give him credit for, was really hesitant at first. He didn’t really want to leave you alone and offered to turn the job down. He would never admit it, but his human was way more important.

-However, you insisted it was fine, encouraging him to go and implying you would be alright for an hour by yourself. Besides, you had something to check and would probably be home in no time. He couldn’t really argue back so he reluctantly agreed and left you to your own devices.

-And that was the last time he saw you.

-After his shoot, he couldn’t find you anywhere. Not at home, not in Majolish, not at any of your favourite places. He wasn’t worried at first because he thought you were with one of his siblings. But half an hour later, he was getting panicky and pushing himself over the edge. Sitting alone in his room, pondering on where the fuck you could have been while also debating as to where he should look for you first. He really didn’t want to bring the subject up with Lucifer because he feared his reaction and the possibility he would forbid Mammon from helping him search for you.

-And just as he had conjured up a master plan, Lucifer walked in. With Lilith behind him like it was regular Tuesday night. Her presence wasn’t acknowledged for a few moments, he was too concentrated on Lucifer’s face, scared out of his wits that he found out you were missing and now he was about to face punishment. His older brother didn’t look angry though. Grave and sad, but mostly solemn, like he was holding back. Then it clicked that his loving sister, the one that was supposed to be dead, was standing next to him. Mammon jumped. Physically jumped backwards and fell off the bed in surprise. If there was one thing he disliked more than giving his money away, it would be thinking about Lilith. His memories with her brought him nothing but tears.

-Lilith smiled, in an honest and slightly upset way, seeing her brother’s antics after such a long time made her feel a sort of nolstagia she didn’t think she would miss. Mammon was still staring at her like he’s just been told he had to give all of his money to the witches. He kept switching his gaze between her and Lucifer, as if confirming with him that she wasn’t a ghost while he kept his eyes wide in horror.

-“Stop that Mammon. Your gawking is giving me a headache.” Lucifer snapped, more ferociously than usual which was odd. Mammon thought he looked more tense, rigid but he didn’t push the subject. He wanted to get up, walk up to Lilith and touch her, see if she was real. And then he wanted to hug the living daylights out of her. But he froze on the spot until Lucifer finally managed to spit out that Lilith was, indeed, back. And then Mammon sprinted straight into her arms like a fired bullet, not planning on letting go for a long time. His sister just smiled again, happy to see her needier brother again and to know that despite being a demon now, he hadn’t changed all that much. That moment was sort of euphoric and he grasped onto it for as long as he could.

-Then came the devastating news that would hit Mammon in the gut harder than a moving truck.

-MC was gone. Forever. Forever, forever. Never to be seen again. Gave her entire being up for Lilith to come back to life. Lucifer told him but his eyes and voice seemed to be elsewhere, as if he struggled to show emotion in his voice during his monologue because he was directing those emotions somewhere else. Lilith tightened her grip on him, preparing for a meltdown, or even an angry fit, anything could be expected from this brother of hers in particular.

-Oh there was a meltdown alright. His reaction was immediate. He started shaking, uncontrollable trembling that he couldn’t stop no matter how hard he tried to and his vision blurred and swayed as if he was drunk and his nails were digging into his palms hard enough to draw blood. Everything felt unstable and he couldn’t take MC’s face out of his mind, like their face was printed onto his brain for keeping purposes. His throat dried up and besides the stream of tears rolling down his face, Mammon started sweating. In the span of a minute, he’s gotten too immeasurably hot and now he was sweating even though he lives in hell and should already be used to this kind of warmth.

-He became unresponsive after that. Not even Lucifer could get through to him. He just sat there, like a broken shell. His brother was speaking to him about things, replacements and a bunch of shit he wasn’t interested in. He didn’t want to hear any of it. He just wanted his human back, even if it meant he had to serve the witches for the rest of eternity. After a while, both of them left. Lucifer giving his shoulder a squeeze, something he hasn’t done in forever but the gesture was somehow comforting. It showed that his older brother was suffering too and he could tell from his voice alone. Lilith hugged him one more time and pecked his cheek and he wanted to grab her hand and keep her there because even though she literally just came back, he needed his sister to stay with him as he went through this. Mammon let them leave.

-He’s more closed off than before. He still steals shit all the time but it’s out of pity for himself more than anything else. He also took a bunch of your belongings too, something to remind him that you existed once. That you had a presence and changed his life and his brothers for the better. Mammon breaks down at the most random of times whenever he’s reminded of you and these sometimes take hours before he finally calms down. Somehow Lilith is the only one who happens to have an effect on him. Her presence at least helps. But not by a lot.

-Stupid human, letting him be an idiot and allowing him to leave you all by yourself. Stupid Mammon for being such a moron and letting the one person that understood him beyond the surface of the Avatar of Greed and actually associated him with being more than just scum, die. Stupid MC, leaving him all alone...

-He just hopes you’ve made it to the Celestial Realm...but seeing as you died in DevilDom, he doubts it.

Levi:

-Levi was sort of used to you showing up late to his gaming sessions. He didn’t blame you really, his brothers were sure to try and grab as much of your attention as possible so it makes sense you forgot about little old him. Except you never did. Sure you came by later than planned, but you always came no matter what so maybe he wasn’t giving you enough credit.

-Maybe he should have tried calling you, or even just texting you to see what you were up to. That’s why he had a D.D.D to begin with after all. But he didn’t. He assumed you were with Mammon or reading with Satan somewhere. Maybe sleeping with the twins. Levi reasoned with himself that you were probably fine and just got caught up on something on the way home. Yet the pit in his stomach kept growing with every minute that passed and before he knew it, he was pacing around the room.

-He heard Mammon having a breakdown from somewhere, and at first, he really had an overwhelming urge to check in with him and see what the problem was. Maybe something happened to MC. Maybe something happened to his older brother. Levi has a dislike for him sure, but he still wouldn’t want Mammon to suffer, no matter how much money he owes him. He didn’t leave his room. He assumed he was crying because the witches were at it again or maybe because he lost all of his money at the casino or even because Lucifer was punishing him for something.

-Then, a knock came on his door and he jumped to his feet faster than he had ever done so before. Password and all long forgotten, he opened the door to his room expecting to see you. Instead, he came face to face with his oldest brother, which disappointed him beyond measure. He was about to mumble something about MC and whether he had seen them at all that day but something stopped him. Behind Lucifer, just barely visible since she is slightly shorter than him, was Lilith. His reaction was definitely interesting.

-“Oh-I....holy crap, this is just like that anime where the protagonist’s dead sister comes back as ghost and starts talking to him. Oh shit, am I going insane or are ghosts are actually real? And not Lilith, Lilith doesn’t deserve to live the rest of eternity as a ghost-“

-“Shut up Levi.”

-“Sorry.”

-Lilith slowly walked out him and hugged him, which debunked Levi’s theory. She wasn’t a ghost! She was real and she was hugging him! He missed her so much, he was actually still doubting the fact that she was back. Levi tried pushing her out of his mind so many times because it hurt too much to think of her and now she was right here in front of him.

-The moment didn’t last though. Lucifer had to interrupt. He himself was shaky, still processing a bunch of things and on top of all that, he had to break his brothers’ spirits. The words came out eventually and Levi’s reaction was a lot slower than Mammon’s. He couldn’t process it as well and it felt like his life was put on pause, like in one of his video games. Lilith was holding him, as a sort of support system but Levi just kind of drifted in another world.

-Sure, he missed his sister dearly. But that didn’t mean he wanted MC’s life to be exchanged with hers. It was such an unfair choice really, making him choose between two people he absolutely adores. Except he didn’t make that choice. You did. And it changed everything.

-Ever since you left, he hasn’t had as much energy in playing games or even watching anime. He can’t find himself sitting for too long, he always has be to pacing and chewing on his fingernails. Everything seemed pointless without you here. Nothing was right. Watching anime by himself wasn’t as enjoyable even though he used to do it for a long time before you even came to DevilDom. He doesn’t have the energy to participate in Ruri chan contests either, though sometimes he makes an effort to. In a way to satisfy himself knowing that you didn’t die for him to mope around all depressed.

-He just sort of lays in his room all day, speaking with Henry 2.0 occasionally or just trying to relax in his bathtub. But it never works. Your voice keeps ringing in his ears. He misses you terribly and his sleeping schedule probably worsened since he can’t sleep now at all, thanks to all the nightmares he gets every night, featuring you of course.

-Out of all the things the world could have taken away from him, it just had to be his Henry didn’t it? Maybe he was just cursed from ever finding a true friend like you....

Hey, yeah I’m not dead. Just been working on this for a while now. This is obviously too long already so I can’t write for all the brothers at once. I’ll do a second post continuing this ask soon but for now I’ve written and edited this for the eldest three. Sorry it took so long and that I only managed three of the brothers. I’m still working on the following four. Thanks for reading! Part 2 should done soon!

#obey me #obey me imagines #obey me leviathan #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #to be continued #angst #⭐️ requests #🦚 lucifer supremacy #🐡 levi supremacy #💳 mammon supremacy #🌪 angst

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autisticcassandracain · 2 years

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Alright finished Tom King's Mister Miracle yesterday and unpopular opinion but I fucking hate it lmao.

I'm not terribly comfortable doing an objective (or at least as objective as literary analysis can ever be) analysis of the book, so this'll be my subjective opinion. The reason I'm not comfortable doing an onjective analysis is because. Well. I honestly can barely tell wtf is going on in the book.

I am HORRIBLE at visual metaphor; written metaphor I'm able to catch just fine (at least 95% of the time) but visual metaphor has approximately a 100% chance of tripping me up. I can never tell it's a metaphor; I'll always take it as literally happening. (It's probably the autism.) This means that then they kept showing me glitch effects, I. Assumed something was actually glitching. Which, combined with the blacked out panels with just the text 'Darkseid is.' and the fact that the content in this book is so much darker than anything that's ever been done with Scott, lead me to the conclusion that nothing was real. As in, the events took place in a simulation of some kind, with the intent of either breaking Scott's will or convincing him to join Darkseid. Which. Obviously. Was WILDLY off base lmao. You can see why I don't feel qualified to actually analyse this book.

Even with my obvious inability to analyse this run objectively, I can see that a very large part of my distate for it stems from personal preference. This simply isn't the kind of story I want to read for Scott. To me, the point of Scott has always been to escape the concept of the Darkseid/New Genesis conflict. Despite verious writers' attempts to integrate him, he's always been kind of separate from the lore of the New Gods, and while I think he could be a little more connected to it, for the most part, this is simply because Scott doesn't WANT to be involved with the New Gods. Scott's stories are always about him trying to create a life on Earth away from Apokolips and New Genesis, and clinging to it as much as he can. This is a large part of what I LIKE about him! I enjoy stories of people escaping horrible situations and/or a pre-determined role to create their own life, especially if it's mundane compared to their supposed 'destined role'. It's why I dislike the endings of Mister Miracle volumes 1 & 2 as well; I think moving Scott to New Genesis because he just can't seem to live on Earth is a mistake, and essentially reads to me as Scott giving up.

So what I REALLY don't want to read is a story about Scott getting dragged into the New Genesis/Apokolips war and eventually becoming the leader of New Genesis. I have a very hard time believing Scott would ever even... do that. He's repeatedly given up his position as New Genesis' heir/ruler, and has also repeatedly avoided godhood in general. Darkseid having the complete anti-life equation is a scenario desperate enough that Scott MIGHT agree to fight for New Genesis, but that raises another problem to me.

We've seen the complete anti-life equation in action before. If Darkseid had it. There'd be no war. There would be no way to fight against him. There just wouldn't. I get that they made the anti-life equation a metaphor for trauma/hate/etc (or at least I THINK they did, again, I'm not good at analysing this book), but it's still an actual existing thing? I really don't feel like King read Orion before writing this, because this book doesn't really seem to understand how the equation works.

Anyway, you could argue the entire comic is about Scott fighting to maintain his life on Earth, which, fair enough, but even so, I simply do not want to see him be this heavily involved with the war against Apokolips, at least not in this way. It defeats the point of Scott's character to me. I do really like the idea of exploring Scott's trauma from Apokolips, which in my opinion has never been done satisfactorily, but I want him to have space to heal from it. Not be repeatedly re-traumatized. If you want a story about someone's mental health deteriorating as a result from being stuck in a perpetual war, Orion and Lightray are right there.

(Also, gonna be frank here, I do not want a story about a perpetual war written by an ex-CIA agent. It has Connotations that are hard to ignore.)

Speaking of Orion and Lightray. The one bit of objective criticism I AM comfortable laying against this book is the horrible portrayal of Orion and Lightray, but especially Orion.

Once again, CONVINCED King didn't read Orion's solo, because if he had, I doubt he would've had the nerve to call that character of his Orion. King's Orion is a bloodthirsty, underhanded, selfish egomaniac, which is a WILD misunderstanding of who Orion is. I haven't read as much of Orion as I've read of Scott, but I feel like I have a decent understanding of his character. Orion is the noble monster, NOBLE being the keyword here. He enjoys fighting, yes, and he struggles against anger and bloodthirsty impulses, but he's honorable to the bone. Honor in battle is an EXTREMELY important concept to Orion; yes, if necessary, he CAN play dirty, but he never does so unprovoked. The idea that he'd betray Scott and Barda and deliberately lead them into a trap with the intent to kill them is simply ludicrous. WHY is Granny Goodness portrayed more sympathetically than Orion??

In addition, Orion fights for peace. He genuinely just wants people to live in peace and harmony. He wouldn't needlessly slaughter 6 million of New Genesis' Bugs, then send Lightray to kill Forager for telling Scott. Even during Orion's solo, when he had a corruption arc, gained control of the complete anti-life equation, and used it to effectively become a tyrant, his goals never changed: he wanted everyone to live in peace and harmony. He wanted to protect others, and have them be happy. He doesn't fight for power; power is a tool he uses to protect others. He became the leader of Apokolips not because he craved the power, but because he wanted to make Apokolips a better place to live; he used the anti-life equation not to crown himself king of everything, but to force others to do good. He would never exhibit the tyrannical, egocentric control over New Genesis the way he does in this series. He just wouldn't.

And Lightray is portrayed as Orion's lackey, following him without question, doing his bidding without much opinions of his own, which is, again, ludicrous. Lightray has never had a problem calling Orion out when he's going too far or making the wrong choices. Lightray is an extremely moral, dutiful person, and would never allow Orion to misuse his power over New Genesis the way he does in this series. Lightray is forgiving of Orion, yes, because he loves him, but that doesn't translate to mindlessly following his orders or making excuses for inexcusable actions.

In addition. Does King know that Orion is supposed to be the frontline fighter, and Lightray the schemer? It's not that Orion can't plan or that Lightray can't do things without thinking, but their methods of fighting are very important to their characters. In this series, Orion is shown scheming much more than Lightray is, which, all things considered, is a minor problem, but it still points to a misunderstanding of the characters.

Other, shorter/more minor problems I have with the series:

Tom King's dialogue has a particular cadence to it that's impossible to ignore once you noticed it, and it drives me nuts. He writes like this. All the time. Every single piece of dialogue... is written like this. It ends up sounding. Very stilted. Especially in the... longer monologues. I hate it.

Barda feels kinda sexualized. You can tell thet were trying to disguise it behind 'realism', but she's shown naked, in her underwear, or undressing much more often than Scott.

The fact that they removed the scene where Orion drops the knife from his backstory is SO telling.

Love the part where a cashier spouts the textbook definition of utalitarianism. Like seriously?

Why would Darkseid's Omega Beams affect the anti-life equation. What.

STOP PUTTING CHRISTIAN ALLEGORIES IN SCOTT'S STORIES IF I HAVE TO SEE JESUS!SCOTT ONE MORE TIME I'LL LOOSE IT!!

But hey at least the art's good?

#My posts #Infodumping #Scott free #Lightray #Orion

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hamliet · 3 years

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I still think Hawks and BJ are the antagonists to the Todoroki plot. I mean they’re the two worst characters to be involved (BJ being a little bitch after Touya’s reveal and Hawks refusing to acknowledge that Enji sucks), but with them being outward and open about their involvement, in what way do you think they can pull off being the antagonists? They said they wanted to fight with them so they’re not gonna sneak around or anything...so I’m wondering how it could work.

Well, this is harsher than I’d be towards Hawks, but I also agree I don’t think any other role makes sense with what we have so far, unless Horikoshi is just... dropping the ball on Hawks.

See, I think what bother me in fandom is that people tend to either think Horikoshi is writing a masterpiece in which every shift in framing is utterly brilliant and done deliberately and he never indulges in not-so-great writing, or that he's a terrible, incompetent, and even offensive writer.

I truly don't think either of those are the case. I critique everything, even my beloved Dostoyevsky and Shakespeare (oh and I’m def subject to critique too), but I also don't think BNHA is reinventing the wheel or that it is terribly unique or revolutionary. I wouldn’t call it on the same level of literary impact as manga like Shingeki no Kyojin, but I would say it has a lot of value to analyze in and of itself too. I also don't think Horikoshi is a bad writer, which is why even with this bad writing this chapter I'm not overly concerned about the overall story trajectory. I think he knows how to tell a story and he has deep compassion that is evident in his characters and arcs. Some are willing to wait for a full story before criticizing; others are not, because serial fiction is supposed to satisfy and tantalize at the same time in each installment (which is almost impossible to do imo, but the strengths of serial fiction as a medium far outweigh the drawbacks).

I personally think that if this chapter attempts to show Hawks on a good trajectory, it’s bad writing objectively speaking (well, good/bad writing is always subjective, but it fits the broader literary consensus of what constitutes poor writing). You don’t redeem a character by having them face no consequences (guilt, even internal guilt, is a consequence!) and still improve. Hawks has no guilt. He’s supposedly inspired by Twice, inspiration that lingers even after Hawks literally stabbed him in the back. Sorry, that doesn’t make any sense in a story. If this is really what inspired Hawks to change, well damn then, why not let Dabi kill Enji or Shigaraki All Might? Let that inspire them to change, since murder can work, right? Unless the answer to Toga’s questions is supposed to be “actually villains are not people,” which I think we all agree is not the case.

I’m with you and not quite buying Hawks’ seeming alignment with the Save Touya Squad. If it is supposed to be genuine, then I’m happy for fans while also thinking it’s cheap writing that offers nothing remotely interesting to the story. Stories need consequences (positive and negative) for characters to progress. We need to see how they progress from Point A to Point B.

It’s why I am not thrilled with Shouto's writing of late: much of it is told rather than shown. Give Shouto his own struggles instead of holding him up as a shining beacon of light to protect the Todofam and hero society from trauma he happens to share. Let Shouto feel his pain and excel in his strengths; that is what makes Shouto a compelling character for me, by far my favorite of the heroes. It seems like Shouto is constantly categorized as one or the other: a hero who saves his family, or a traumatized abuse survivor, black (red) and white, hot and cold, scarred and whole. Let him be both, please and thank you. While characters like Rei seem to acknowledge this, the story is not like... showing it in the framing. You’re telling me that he’s hurting, but we don’t get to see Rei convincing Shouto that Enji has to take responsibility and that Shouto doesn’t have to be the hero of the family alone. We’re just told this happened--offscreen.

I’m often hit with “you want the villains to escape consequence!” when I say I want the villains to not go to prison at the end. However, this isn’t true. I have said I’m fine with a hospital setting (healing) and a chance to work with other troubled kids eventually (if safe, but story) to save them. And most important? I want Touya, Tenko, and Himiko to realize their murderous destruction and hedonism were wrong. I want them to realize the world shouldn’t be destroyed, and that true empathetic heroes can exist. I want the ending, be it working with kids or in a hospital or whatnot, to show that they have changed and no longer think it’s fine to kill to make a point (which is what Hawks’ story seems to be saying right now).

Hawks needs to learn that killing Twice was wrong, and he needs a consequence to learn that that was the case. If he’s just magically snapping his feathers and now on the path of empathy and saving Touya, that’s nonsensical writing. How did we go from this...

To Hawks saying he wants to be just like Twice? To Hawks partnering with the Todos to bring back a long-lost son who tried to kill Hawks? When as far as we know Hawks doesn’t seem to realize that Dabi’s flames got hotter and hotter because he really did care about Twice? Unless that happened too and we just... are supposed to realize it happened off screen?

Do we think Hawks’ mode of confronting his negative foil in Twice is the Way to Go? That Deku, Ochaco, and Shouto should copy that when it comes to Shigaraki, Toga, and Dabi? I sure don’t think so. I really hope not, at least. If Hawks is going to be inspired by Shouto to realize he screwed up by murdering Twice, then why is he already admiring Shouto while also still not really showing regret?

Is Shouto’s “he’s too close” humor, or a boundary thing symbolic of hero society controlling their family?

Then again, if Hawks is tricking the Todorokis, I still think that’s not excellently done because it’s not in-character. I would guess a conflict might arise later on to cause this trouble, but... again. Serial fiction and its inborn conundrums. This chapter just seems like bad writing. It doesn’t mean that Horikoshi’s a bad writer or that the story overall is poorly written. All stories have flaws, and overall, I really enjoy BNHA only behind BSD in terms of ongoing manga.

Then again, the moment I got hope for Jin he then went the way I’d initially predicted and died tragically, so maybe I should just trust that the larger arcs of the story will make sense even if the individual chapters stumble a bit. which does not inherently mean hawks will die just that consequences and framing should be like a thing

#ask hamliet #dabi #bnha 303 #mha 303 #bnha meta #mha meta #todoroki touya #takami keigo #hawks #todoroki family #best jeanist #bnha theory #mha theory #Anonymous

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isuckatreadinglol · 3 years

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Six of Crows Review

Alright, first book review on this blog...here we go: *spoiler warning, duh*

Book: Six of Crows Author: Leigh Bardugo

My Rating: 5/5

First off, this is the first YA fantasy I've ever read so I have no idea what I was expecting...and I fuckin loved it.

Second, I binge read this book in three days and it usually takes me a month to read anything ever so that's definitely saying something. I came for Kaz Brekker after watching Shadow & Bone on Netflix and stayed for the amazing plot, diverse and intricate characters, the incredible action and twists, and of course Kaz Brekker. The one thing that I loved was how fast paced this book went, and I genuinely could not stray far from the book because of how addicting it was. There was something in every chapter and you never got bored. The last part had taken the most time for me to complete because of how much action Leigh crammed in the last 60 pages, which made it a bit hard to follow along but it was still epic.

The Characters:

Kaz, Inej, Jesper, Wylan, Nina, Matthias

"“What’s the easiest way to steal a man’s wallet?” “Knife to the throat?” asked Inej. “Gun to the back?” said Jesper. “Poison in his cup?” suggested Nina. “You’re all horrible,” said Matthias."

The most diverse set of characters I have ever met. There were 6 characters, and the POV's were constantly changing and at some point, while I read someone else's chapter I was worried about the other characters and anticipating the next chapters. This was honestly an amazing decision to tell this story and I never got sick of the characters (except maybe Matthias, sorry).

Not only does Leigh do an excellent job portraying trauma in her characters (especially Kaz), she also keeps the character's as diverse as possible, from Nina being a plus sized character with badass confidence to Wylan overcoming his dyslexia and even Inej being a brown character. Every character had their own stories and the flashbacks/backstories were always a pleasure to read through.

Kaz Brekker is a stone cold, morally grey, manipulative, and terrible criminal which of course...makes him an even better protagonist. He definitely rocks the Hot Boy Who Is Mean To Everyone Except That One Chick Because Of His Tragic Backstory trope.

"There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong, and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken."

He is an anti-hero with his own plans and goals, while also caring so much about his crew that he would do anything for them. I'm very excited to see his character develop with Inej in Crooked Kingdom as well as his relationship with her because I am too obsessed with the two of them. I also enjoyed how Leigh allowed Kaz to fuck up and make mistakes, showing that he wasn't just some perfect character that knew everything about everything, and reading his inner dialogue when he realized his fuck-ups felt refreshing. His backstory was very well written and very tragic (we get it he's emo). It felt so personal knowing why he was they way he was when he sealed himself off from the world. He's also drippy as fuck.

Inej Ghafa just radiates bad bitch energy and when Kaz called her "dangerous" I screamed "DAMN RIGHT". Her mental drive was beautifully written during her chapters, especially while she climbed the incinerator.

"The heat of the incinerator wrapped around Inej like a living thing, a desert dragon in his den, hiding from the ice, waiting for her. She knew her body's limits and knew she had no more to give. She'd made a bad wager. It was as simple as that. The autumn leaf might cling to its branch, but it was already dead. The only question was when it would fall...

Should she jump now or simply wait for her body to give?

Inej felt wetness on her cheeks. Was she crying? Now? After everything she'd done and had done to her?"

Most importantly, she was a raw character who pushed herself throughout the book not just for herself but for the rest of the crew. She was selfless but she was also incredibly strong, driven by her future. Inej is the most inspiring character in the book and I have fallen in love with her more times than I could count. (lowkey carried the team imma be honest)

JESPER FAHEY Y'ALL. My queer sharpshooter king. I think I related to him the most and I loved every chapter with him. Though, I felt like Jesper was treated more as a side character than a main one, especially since he was stuck with Wylan for the entirety of the heist but BOY WHEN I FOUND OUT HE WAS A FABRIKATOR...I might have also screamed. He was definitely the comedic relief and he always kept me laughing at his little comments. Excited to see him and Wylan get together and also hoping for more of Jesper's character.

"Well, we’ve managed to get ourselves locked into the most secure prison in the world. We’re either geniuses or the dumbest sons of bitches to ever breathe air."

“If any of you survive, make sure I have an open casket. The world deserves a few more moments with this face.”

Nina Zenik...bro. She is so powerful. The moment she took parem was *chefs kiss* and it was the most badass scene I had ever experienced. When I began reading her chapters I didn't really enjoy them but when the heist actually began her inner dialogue won me over completely. When she was with Jarl Brum I could not stop laughing at the things she was saying in her head, and even when things were intense she always had something to say which made her character come to life. Her personality is hilarious, and sarcastic and she's also so HOT like my gay ass was swooning. She is who I aspire to be, that is all.

Matthias Helvar. Personally, I didn't really like his character so much because of how stubborn and he was (and how many times I wanted to punch his stupid ass), however he was still a pretty cool character with some good moments in there. He demonstrated religious corruption well, and he definitely faced a lot of inner conflict due to the pressure of what he was taught when he was younger. His POVs were a little boring but I loved it when he called Kaz a demjin.

Wylan Van Eck was a super fun character to have around. I definitely enjoyed watching his character grow as he spent more time with the Dregs. I didn't love him as much as the big three (Kaz, Jesper, Inej) and don't have much to say on him except that I admired his strength throughout the last part, especially when confronting his father after hearing all the horrible things he said about his own son. Jesper defending him made me melt big time.

"He's smarter than most of us put together, and he deserves a better father than you."

I literally could not have asked for such a creative group of characters and to see them work together makes me feel like I'm part of a big, criminal family.

The Ships

The ships were a fun addition to the story and the best part was that they never overstepped the actual objective of the plot but rather worked with it to enhance the connections between each character.

Kaz and Inej: Let me just cry for a second.

"She'd laughed, and if he could have bottled the sound and gotten drunk on it every night, he would have. It terrified him."

"I will have you without armor, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all."

"I'm going to get my money, Kaz vowed. And I'm going to get my girl."

This one hurt me. I am in love with these two and their relationship with each other makes it so much better. They are not meant to be together yet they are connected in so many ways. I did not think I would fall in love so easy, but here I am.

Matthias and Nina: I was not convinced by these two, especially with how weird their relationship was. They constantly seemed like they hated each other (valid) and some of their romantic scenes felt forced. In the end, I enjoyed seeing Nina grow on Matthias to wake his stubborn ass up. I swear that man refused to have feelings. Anyway, I still have mixed feelings on these two.

Wylan and Jesper: They are so cute. Like insanely cute. Like even I was blushing during their cute scenes. Their relationship isn't as developed yet so I am excited to see them in Crooked Kingdom.

Final Thoughts:

Representation? Check

Map? Check

Two maps?!? Fuck yeah

Amazing plot and worldbuilding? Check

Hilarious banter? Mhm

Great writing? Check

Well- written characters? 100%

Overall, this story will forever be my comfort book and I was impressed by the YA fantasy side of literature. It's hard to believe yet comforting that these characters are my age, makes me feel powerful. I loved every bit of this book and now I kinda wanna grab some friends and pull a heist.

#six of crows #grishaverse #the grisha series #crow club #shadow and bone #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #nina zenik #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #no mourners no funerals #the dregs #soc #sabspoilers #the crows #book review #booklr #ya fantasy #kanej

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selkiewife · 2 years

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Which reunion are you most excited to see from Theon?👀

Hey @blackwinterrr! Thanks so much for the ask! I am honestly genuinely excited to see Theon reunite with anyone! Any and all of them! Give me them all! But seriously, I think what I am most excited for is his potential reunion with Bran. Bran and Theon are just so irrevocably connected- with Theon driving Bran from Winterfell and into his journey to be a Greenseer. And then Bran reaching out to Theon in the Godswood in ADWD and speaking his name... I love what that scene means to Theon and how incredible it was for him to hear that validation- whether he thinks it is the old gods, his ghosts, or Bran. But I also think that Theon could also help Bran as well if they meet again. Perhaps Theon could remind Bran of his own humanity- though that could be something I only worry about for Bran because of what happened in the show- I am not that far in my reread yet so we’ll see. But it is something I love to think about. And just the idea that Bran seems to have definitely reached out to both Jon and Theon through heart trees (and maybe Arya??) And I feel like that is going to be meaningful since all three of them represent the “bastard, cripples, and broken things,” that Tyrion talked about. SPEAKING of Jon...

I would also love to see him reunite with Jon. This is a reunion that I feel like could actually happen as well possibly and it would be so incredibly interesting. The idea that they have both been such foils throughout the series- and the idea that they might be moving in opposite directions in a really complex way. I know some people think that if they meet again, Jon will instantly kill him- like I’ve seen theories where the wolf part of him that has survived through Ghost will completely take over. But I have also seen the idea that he might not recognize Theon at all- since Theon is so changed and that his memory will be affected by his death. That idea gives me chills! And I kind of love it. With both Jon and Bran, I love the idea of them meeting again. There is so much delicious angst and potential there! But I am also feeling cautious about wishing for these reunions since they both could mean Theon’s death. I hope not though.

Other reunions I would be very excited to see, but probably won’t happen: I’d really love Theon to have to come face to face with Beth Cassel or Palla. Or the Captain’s Daughter! There are theories that she may have given birth to his child. But I’d be the most interested in Theon having to take responsibility for hurting these girls. So much is made of Theon’s betrayal of the Starks, but his real crimes are the things he did to innocent small folk who weren’t involved with the Greyjoy/Stark conflict. Objectively what Theon did against the Starks can be seen as revenge. Even though it is hugely complex because of the love Theon felt toward them and his relationship with Robb. In fact, I would KILL for a scene where any of the Starks acknowledged that it was their family that hurt him first. I know that will never happen but, I can dream. lol.

I would love for him to see Dagmer again! I wrote a meta about how Theon may be inspired by Dagmer if he is given the opportunity to heal. And I would love to see a reunion with his mother. But ughhhh.... that would potentially be so fucking sad... Here is the thing. Most of Theon’s potential reunions are going to be so fucking heartbreaking... I almost wonder if “excited” for them is the right word. I am so excited to have my heart brutally ripped out through my chest... lol.

Also! If Jeyne and Theon are truly separated. I would LOVE for them to reunite at some point in a happier time- perhaps in A Dream of Spring.

#theon greyjoy #theon & bran #theon & jon #palla asoiaf #beth cassel #theon & dagmer #theon & alannys #theon & jeyne #blackwinterrr #ask answered #thanks for the ask!

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championofsanghelios · 3 years

Text

Linked Universe Story - “Rescue”

“...this is getting out of hand!” Legend’s voice snaps across the camp, startling most who had fallen asleep awake. “Twi and the Old Man left three days ago! Three freakin’ days! And we’re still sitting here, waiting for them like they’re going to come back!” “Will you relax?” Four sighs by the camp-fire, drinking from his water-flask. “Shouting isn’t going to help anything, it’s just going to make everyone grumpy in the morning.” “I just worry, Okay!?” Legend breathes out through his nostrils, dropping down next to him. “They aren’t usually away this long.” “Wars said he’d go out and have a look for them.” Four tries his best to assure him, though he doubts it will work. “Maybe he’ll come back with something...” “I hope so.” Legend, though not comforted by that general suggestion, can’t lie. “They better be okay.” . . . ELSHWERE - SEVERAL MILES AWAY . . . “...” Time groans, his head spinning, both literally as well as figuratively. He opens his eyes slowly, the light and heat of a fire being the first thing he’s aware of. He could make out the faint sound of snoring, and a quick turn of his head reveals the source....all 20 of them. “...” Bokoblins, all of them laying around a large fire, fast-asleep, having filled their bellies with goddess only knows what. Time himself was hanging upside down from a tree-branch, the ropes from Twilight’s satchel had been used to string him up. He looks about as best he can for any sign of the other Hero, but finds nothing until his eyes catch sight of something in one of the Bokoblin’s hands. A familiar black pelt, that of a small wolf, which Twilight always wore over his shoulders as a cloak. There were also several other items of his strewn around the place, all of which didn’t help to ease the rapidly building panic in his gut. Had they killed him? Were they all, equally, in the processes of digesting him? The thought terrified him, as well as made his blood boil. How dare they. How fucking dare they! Suddenly his priorities were changing. Originally he had planned to find Twilight and get out of there, but now that his fate was uncertain, he’d added “massacre these little bastards” to the list. Now then...how was he going to get out of here? . . . IN THE FOREST . . . How long had he been running for? It couldn’t have been long, the sky was still clear and dark, the moon hadn’t risen that far since he last looked up at it. Right now he was conflicted more than anything. Part of him felt awful for leaving Time behind like he did...but there was no chance in hell that he’d be able to fight through all those monsters in his condition. He’d already tried to transform into his canid form, it would have certainly made thing easier, as he could have followed the scent trail the two of them left back to Camp, however...he was wounded. When they had been ambushed on the road, he’d taken an arrow to the left shoulder, something that would normally be of no consequence, but right now his satchel was back there...and he wasn’t going to risk looking for it amongst the sleeping devil pigs. ...no he had to get back to the camp. Sky and Warriors would know what to do... ...if only he could find his way back. He had to, because there was going to be a point soon where one of those little blighters would awaken and using it’s collective brain-cells notice that one of their captures was gone. That and Time was still back there...if they discover he’s gone, they might just decide to kill him for their food instead. He comes to a stop as he enters a clearing, leaning against a tree to catch his breath. He was pouring with sweat, and his wounded shoulder which had been painful before, was now verging on excruciating. The pain had spread down through his arm, and left hand, and it hurt to look at, let alone touch or move. “...shit...” he says as he breathes, something else which was getting much harder as time passed. “...ow.” His tunic was torn at the shoulder, blood soaking the area around the wound dark red. Oddly enough one of the few thoughts that doesn’t concern his current predicaments is how he’s going to remove those stains later on? Suddenly a sound occurrs among the trees, the snapping of a few twigs, followed by the sounds of boots on grass. Twilight turns on the spot quickly, his eyes squinting as the flame of a torch appears between the vines and branches. “...wh-...who’s there?” he makes a pathetic attempt to confront whoever it is. “...co-come out.” Warriors steps out into the lunar light, his face melting into one of horror as he sees him. “...Twi...” “...Wars?” Twilight’s eyes narrow, he wasn’t sure if he was halucinating or not. “...is that you?” He takes a step forwards, which turns into a stumble. Warriors drops the torch the ground, it’s flame extinguishing when he catches him in his arms. “Twi! What happened to you!? Where’s the Old Man?” “...back-...” Twilight moves his good arm, gesturing weakly over his shoulder. “...back there...b-Bokoblins ambushed us...” “...here.” Warriors says, reaching down to his belt and removing a bottle of healing elixir, he uncorks it and holds it up to Twilight’s mouth. He drinks it slowly at first, but as it’s effects inevitably take hold, some of his strength returns. “...just drink that. It should help you.” He inspects the wound on his shoulder, letting out a hissing sigh. “You idiot. Why did you snap the arrow-shaft. It’s going to make getting it out a nightmare!” “...sorry.” Twilight finishes the last of the elixir, looking at him. “I should have thought about that as 10 miniature devil pigs tackled me to the ground.” “Well it would seem the first thing to recover is your temper.” Warriors huffs, shaking his head. He then goes to move. “Come on, we better get up off the ground.” “Nah...” Twilight shakes his head slowly. “You’re quite soft...I could go for a nap here.” “Are you serious!?” Warriors snips, before getting up anway. “Time is in trouble! I need to help him!” “There are at least 20 of the little bastards back there.” Twilight hisses, as much as the elixir had helped to get rid of some of the swelling and stopped most of the bleeding, the arrow-head was still stuck in his shoulder...which would make wielding a Sword nigh-on impossible until it was removed. A trip to Four he was not looking forward too. “...you can’t go in there alone, they’ll just overpower you as well.” “Just you watch me.” Warriors says, reaching over his shoulder and taking out the Master Sword. Twilight’s eyes widen at the sight of it. “Where did you get-” “-took it from Wild’s lean-to.” Warriors says, eyeing the blade with an element of trepedation and nostalgia. “...figured he wouldn’t mind me borrowing it whilst he’s partying with the Zora.” “...that doesn’t change the fact that you’ll be outnumbered.” Twilight shakes his head again. “You’d be better going back to camp and getting the others-” “-since when did you ever give up so easily?” Warriors eyes him incredulously. “Usually you’re game for anything, especially when one of our own is in danger.” “Don’t question my priorities!” Twilight suddenly snips. “If I wasn’t wounded I would have turned wolf and tore those little fuckers to peices. But right now, I am no fit condition to do that let alone lift a sword...and I’m sure as hell not going to let you go in there alone and potentially take my place.” “...” Warriors stares at him for a second, the look in his eyes said it all. “Wars...” Twilight calls to him as he suddenly takes off on his own. “Wars! Get back here, you’re not going to-” He hisses again as he paces forwards after him. Clutching at his shoulder, he curses under his breath. “...damn it!” . . . ELSEHWERE . . . “...come on...” Time mutters to himself, having tried, for the thrid time, to get the ropes bound around his legs to come free. Bokoblin’s weren’t the smartest of the creatures, so they hadn’t bound his arms together. “...how tight did they-” -growl- He freezes as he hears that sound, slowly he looks ahead of him to see one of the little buggers had awoken, and was now staring at him. Something stupid takes him over at that point, and he finds himself speaking before he can process the words that come out of his mouth. “What are you snarling at you little shit?” he says, flinching when he realises what he’s said. Normally he abhored swearing, and had given a few admonishings to the others because of their language, but right now he couldn’t help it. He was angry...no he was livid. As far as he was aware that little swine and it’s friends had eaten the closest thing he had to a son. He wasn’t about to let it go without at least a few harsh words...followed by a gutting. “...go back to bed.” “ajdhfgrdk!” the Bokoblin let’s out a loud squeal, and the Hero watches on in horror as one by one, all of the others jolt awake and leap up onto their feet. The one holding Twilight’s pelt, throws the object onto the fire as it awakens. “sjehsheufvu!” “...oh shit.” Time mutters to himself as he sees one of the charging at him with a club flailing. It barrels through the others, sending some of the flying in either direction, one even lands on the fire, screeching as its backside singes. “...” He closes his eyes as it reaches him, bracing himself for the strike, though it doesn’t come. -Swipe- -Thud- Time cracks one eye open in the silence that follows. He finds Warriors standing between them, the Master Sword in hand. The head of the Bokoblin that was about to attack him was now rolling away under him. He looks back up, his eyes narrowing. “Where the hell did you get that from?” “Glad you’re okay, Sprite!” Warriors replies, bringing the blade around and cutting the rope holding him up through the middle. “...you’re welcome!” Time hits the ground with a thud, and against his best efforts, the groan he lets out as he sits up, sounds as old as he feels. He kicks the ropes off of his ankles and gets up, only to stumble as the blood rushes from his head down to his feet. All around him there were Bokoblin’s being cut in half, or beheaded. One even stumbles past him, it’s innards hanging out of it’s front, before collapsing face first into the fire, erupting in a ball of flame. He reaches up to his forehead, applying pressure to his temples in order to calm himself and stop the world from spinning. When he finally does come back to his senses, the turns on the spot, only to find that Warriors had slain every last one of the monsters, all of them laying, in various states of mutilation, around the clearing. “...that was easy.” Warriors says, standing in the center of the space, leaning on the Master Sword like a crutch. He takes in a deep breath, only to fall onto his backside against an overturned boulder. “...peice of cake.” “Are you hurt?” Time slowly paces forwards, stepping over one of the dead swines. He drops down onto one knee as he reaches him, placing his hand on his right shoulder, looking him over. “...no injuries?” “I should be asking you that.” Warriors says, a small smile on his face. “...but you seem to be unharmed.” “Only thing that’s wounded is my pride.” Time sighs, looking about the camp. “...Twilight was with me when we were ambushed...I don’t know if-” “-he’s okay.” Warriors sits up a little, sensing his worry. “I ran into him a little ways into the forest. Seems he made a run for it.” Time visibly sags in relief, before dropping down just to his right. “...Thank Hylia for that...” “When you didn’t come back after the second night...Sky and I started to get worried.” Warriors says, his head coming to rest against Time’s left shoulder. “He went up North towards Kakariko, whilst I came down this way...I’ll need to ping him on Wild’s slate when we get back.” “It was stupid...” Time shakes his head, thinking back on the whole ordeal. “I thought we could cut our journey time in half by taking the road we did...if only I had known-” “-Oh don’t start with that.” Warriors says, cutting him off. “What matters is you are both okay- well. Twi has a little arrow head stuck in his shoulder, but other than that he’s himself...I gave him some healing elixir before I came to find you.” “...then we’d better get back to him.” Time says, turning his head to look at him. When he doesn’t get a response, he nudges him with his shoulder. “Come on, you can’t fall asleep here.” “I have been out all day looking for you two...” Warriors says sleepily against him. “I’m taking a 5 minute nap...” “Wow.” a voice suddenly speaks to the right. Time glances over to see Twilight emerge from the tree-line, his hand over his left shoulder. “...he actually did manage to kill them all.” “...i told you...fuzzball.” Warriors mumbles, his eyes closing. “Are you alright?” Time asks, only to happy to put and arm around the other Hero when he drops down next to him. “I was worried there for a while. I thought maybe these creatures had made a meal of you.” “I don’t think I’d taste that good anyway.” Twilight snorts, letting out a groan when the Old Man kisses him on the forehead. “...Hey...stop that.” “Never do that again.” Time says firmly. “Do what?” Twilight eyes him suddenly. “I didn’t do a damn thing.” “Not you.” Time shakes his head. “I was talking to myself. That is officially the last time we take that shortcut.” Twilight, despite himself, manages to laugh out loud at that. . . .

#linked universe #lu time #lu twilight #lu warriors #lu legend #lu four #bokoblins #rescue #warriors will do anything to save his sprite #no beta

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