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#thank you for the ask
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Dr White: Don't you have any moral compass!?
Black Jack: No, I pawned it for cash.
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Some say his moral compass is still in the pawn shop to this day!
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meanbossart · 2 months
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How did your DU drow react when he got told he had to kill his spouse? and then when he went to wake up Astarion and get tied up? I think I just wanna know how your DU drow mentally/emotionally is doing during and after that part, and when talking to Astarion afterward, I'm a sucker for hearing about those deep kinds of moments (hopefully that makes sense?) Also, how did your DU react when you met Kressa Bonedaughter and learned all about what was done to him (again, I know none of the companions really comment on literally something horrible being told such a shame, honestly) but how would you say or think that Astarion and Shadowheart might have reacted hearing that info? Again, thank you for all your art and for answering these questions! PS: (I really don't care if your answer is super long; I WILL EAT IT UP)
Sooo for the first question, I wanna preface by saying that I personally don't think their relationship was that in depth yet, at that point. Yes, DU drow enjoyed Astarion's company and relied on him in a similar way which he relied on Shadowheart. And also yes, Astarion saw DU drow as the first person who ever took him and his agency seriously - but I think feelings were still in their infancy. DU drow's mind was a mess through and through; he drank constantly to keep his urge at bay, he kept his distance from everyone most of the time, and when he did seek out comfort in either Shadowheart or Astarion (the non-sexual kind, they didn't really fuck at all), it was a kind of primal instinct and desperate longing for companionship - if you asked him if he was in love with anyone, however, he would have said no.
Similarly, while I think Astarion's act 2 confession is sincere, I also think that he's being sincere when he says that he doesn't know what you are yet. You're not really a lover, but you aren't a victim, either; what you are is a person who he would rather not have to murder eventually, and as someone who has had their empathy squeezed out throughout the course of two centuries, that's meaningful enough. He may fantasize about the best case scenario for you two - but he has no expectations that whatever this is will last. But it is nice, for the time being.
So the "murder your darling" scene, rather than a proof of love and trust, is to me the turning point where:
A) DU drow has to come to terms with the fact that he doesn't have as much control over the Urge as he thought, and B) When Astarion snaps out of his care-free, just-go-with-the-flow nature around his plan and this relationship. They both realize they bit off more than they could chew and are now caught in each other's crossfire.
Which is to say that I don't read Astarion's words of comfort to him as entirely honest - specially when you compare it to certain dialogue deliveries later in the game. I think he's still, to a degree, telling you what you need to hear so that you hold out for just a bit longer and kill Cazador. You probably can't be together forever as he idly fantasized about once or twice, when he let his mind wander - but god damn it, he needs to at least be free, and it seems like you have bloodlust to spare to make that happen.
Meanwhile, DU drow finally comes to confront the fact that he is not in control. Doesn't matter how hard he tries or how much he drinks, the urge will do to him as it will, and when it wishes. It stops being fun and it gets scary, from that moment on.
But here's who did stop it: Astarion. Where alcohol fell short and his willpower failed, Astarion stepped in.
So, more interesting than the scene itself to me, is how from that point on DU drow would have no choice but put his trust entirely on the vampire to control him. He ties him up, he keeps an eye on him, he has full spoken-word permission to kill him if necessary - he is forced to be as vulnerable at humanly possible under his hand, every night. Regardless of whether or not DU drow realizes that Astarion is doing it for his own reasons, he doesnt care, because Astarion has now become his rock and his bondage - hell, if Astarion does have a reason to keep him alive that's all the better; someone else might just slit DU drow's throat and be done with the concern altogether.
And so, it's only from that point on that DU drow truly starts to see Astarion as an equal, and even a partner. He's thinking that, if his whole life has to be like this, at least he has someone who can handle it.
Astarion, meanwhile, I believe only comes to truly consider (and wish for) DU drow's freedom after he's free from Cazador - and after he bestows that freedom upon his siblings and the other spawn. That's when he finally understands the length of DU drow's devotion to him and the value of freewill as a concept- and how he wants it for both of them, instead of being content with his own.
Not to mention... I think in Astarion's mind he was 100% not going to survive Cazador LOL so when he succeeds he's like "oh shit I guess anything is fucking possible huh. Yeah fuck it lets go fight your dad, also I've decided I want you for realsies, now."
Anyways, can you believe I thought this was gonna be a short ask. Here have a doodle I made while thinking about all this bullshit:
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As for Kressa, I got an ask about that before but I can't find it now LOL to summarize; he was pissed, angered, and in a far more personal level embarrassed to have had his dirty laundry aired (AKA, victimized) in that way in front of the others - but this isn't something he would have expressed outwardly, and I think both Shadowheart and Astarion would have known better than to inquire him about it. It's not really something he would have sought out comfort for in anyone, so, I think the subject died as soon as Kressa did. In this case, their lack of commentary was completely appropriate - If they had reached out in any way (which would have been, in my opinion, completely out of character) DU drow would have shut them out with a quickness.
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crunchchute · 5 months
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William with a mistletoe :3
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one serving of William with a mistletoe coming up. really nice idea, not sure if i did it justice. i don't know what made me give him such a tie but im not changing it now, its snowflakes i guess. and a golden rabbit pin makes its first appearance (i want to give him stuff like that more after the movie... he needs to be decked out in golden rabbits)
get on your tiptoes, he will give you 1 (one) kiss
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cerealboxlore · 1 year
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(this is for the divine twitch chat au my beloved)
captain marvel, at 3am: *preparing a goat for an ancient sacrificial ritual in the watchtower kitchen*
jl member of choice who just wanted a quick break from watchtower duty: hey uhh.. cap? buddy? whatcha.. what are you uh doing there?
cap, basically hissing: the voices, they’re winning
queue misunderstandings and rumours spread among the heroes
This ask had me cackling like a mad man ever since I got it, omg 😂😂😂
There's some hilarity in Billy holding a goat 🐐 like the Billy goat, hahahahaha
This is both hilarious and horrifying, bc if a JL member saw that, it'd be an immediate report to HR or batman. Does the JL even have a HR? Oh man
Also
Memes!
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The divine twitch chat AU certainly is expanding and I am here for it!
Also, I hope that goat ends up being safe in the end and getting taken care of By Damian.
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boytraining · 2 months
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This blog is legitimately high art. The affirmation. The poetry. The kink. I'm a little bit in love with you I think, but also I love myself a little more too
loving me is loving you. are you familiar with the roman myth of narcissus and echo?
echo was in love with narcissus, who was in love with himself. her voice was beautiful, admired even by goddesses. and so to punish her, her autonomy over it was taken away. she could only repeat what was spoken by others.
so she repeated after narcissus.
is echo’s fate really a punishment? is it so tragic to become who you love? to love yourself more because of it?
so, which one of us is echo? maybe both of us are. maybe narcissus is god.
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fattributes · 2 months
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This might be out of your range of things to post about but I don't have any followers/relevancy and I want people to know that my favourite bread baking book is available for free on internet archive. It's full of helpful pictures and goes into the science of everything it's such a great resource. And it has a ton of unique cultural recipes like Mallorcas and stuff and the best Cinnamon swirl bread recipe known to humankind.
https://archive.org/details/BreadIllustrated/page/n482/mode/1up
Hello, lovely! Thank you so much for sharing this with me; I had no idea such a valuable resource was available!
I’ve attached the link below for anyone interested!
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doodlboy · 6 months
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CANNOT stop thinking about in the club freaking it sensitive style. That's Lucifer.
You're so real for this, actually
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How would the RO's react to an MC who usually puts minimal effort into their appearance pulling out all the stops and showing up absolutely gorgeous for some formal event that they were required to go to?
L would choke on their drink. Jaw dropping as they stare shamelessly. Once MC catches them, L would stutter, failing to form complete sentences, unable to look at them in the eye.
J would look away and pretend not to look. But their sharp, calculating eyes would follow MC the entire night, observing how heads turn wherever they walk by.
A would stop everything and stare, frozen to the spot. Their gaze lingers appreciatively, before being caught by MC. They quickly compose themself with a cough, acting unaffected and cool.
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fanaticsnail · 16 days
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how do I convince you to make at LEAST a part 2 to The Sword and Spear?! Cause omg I need more! I wanna know if Mihawk eats his words once reader is dressed more in the way he prefers and then just the aftermath of MIHAWK showing up STARK NAKED to see GARP!!
Please I beg of you- if not a full part then you can do a short little imagine but please at least something to quench my hunger!!
I hope you have a good rest of your day/night! :)
Wine and Warlords
Masterlist Here, Part 1 Here
Word Count: 700+
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Synopsis: Celebrating your victory by goading in the arms of a fellow warlord.
Themes: Mihawk x f!reader, warlords, drinking, drunk kissing, swearing, flirty dialogue, name calling, secondhand embarrassment.
Notes: This little drabble was brought to you by a couple of glasses of Cabernet Sauvignon, and by you, beautiful @h0n3y-l3m0n05. Thank you for your ask, it ate at me. Part 2 Drabble to your initial request, @sexc-snail.
Tag list: @sordidmusings @since-im-already-here @feral-artistry @writingmysanity @i-am-vita @gingernut1314 @carrotsunshine @mfreedomstuff @vespidphoenix
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Lulling your head onto his shoulder, his arm draped in a soft shroud over your torso. His smile tickled the shell of your ear, a soft puff of wine-tinted breath beckoned your attention closer.
“Finally got the feral filiform in my arms,” he whispered in a slow and slurred breath, “And in such a pretty black dress.” He swayed in his seat, wineglass laying limply in his hands as he swirled the deep rouge in the ballooned base of the glass stem.
“Such a flatterer, for such a conceited cunt,” your own voice slurred back at him, smiling broadly within the lap of your fellow warlord, “Particularly one who just walked in: balls out and dick swinging in front of the marine council and the world government.”
Joining with his soft laughter, you attempted to lean away from his embrace to collect the bottle of wine atop the bar; only for him to tug at your body to pull you in closer. He reached his left hand down to collect your chin, turning your face with the tip of his index finger. His lips parted, lazily descending to claim yours beneath his own.
“Not so conceited as you may think,” his smile cracked the corners of his eyes in a playful twinkle.
“Still a cunt,” you taunted back, flicking your tongue to brush with the tip of his nose.
Lips engulfed your mouth, whiskered flesh brushing and chafing the soft skin of your face as his hands drew you in closer. Turning in his arms, you braced your hands against him: grasping his opened shirt in clenched fists as you gasped into his mouth. His tongue darted out, rolling lazily with your own and tinting your tongue with the subtle hint of red wine.
His hands wandered over your back, molding the flesh beneath his firm palms and skilled fingertips. Your knee knocked against his crotch, a moan a few times higher than he truly intended falling freely from his lips.
“Let me get the wine, Hawk,” you murmured against his mouth, taking his bottom lip within your clamped teeth and tugging at it, “Let's drink in celebration of my victory. Again.”
“Go and get it then, Hyena,” he taunted you, “And I'll drink as many glasses as you require of me to cement your win. Go on,” he taunted you, his amber eyes fluttering dangerously with an air of danger. His nose scrunched in a small twitch, his lips snarling in a smirk, “Get it.”
“Oh,” you taunted him in return, eyes mirroring a similar dark intensity as his own, “I’ll get something, alright,” you cooed down at him.
Your fingers found his pectorals, the pads of your digits circling the sensitive flesh of his nipples as you descended your lips once again to claim his. Licking, biting and molding your lips atop his, he was held helpless beneath your ministrations.
Uncharacteristic moans, whimpers and cries fled from the world's greatest swordsman as you journeyed your hands over his torso. He cupped the backs of your knees, ushering you to straddle his waist and angled his chin in a circular rotation to deepen the oscillation with his skillful, needy lips.
Snapping your head away from his, arching your back up and offering him a winning smile, you reached for the wine bottle and raised it to your lips. Gulping back a hefty swig, Mihawk's eyes both held mortification and awe.
“You absolute savage,” Mihawk praised you, easing back into the chair and staring up at you with glassy eyes: obs blown with unbridled lust.
Mischief danced over your face, your eyes holding him at ransom beneath your ferocious intensity. Leaning down, you split your lips and fed the deep, red wine to him through your mouth.
He whistled a hum through his nose, shock evident on his features as he gulped down his favorite vintage through the partition of your lips. Humming in momentary bliss, Mihawk cradled your body against himself and humbled himself to be truly at your mercy.
Pulling away from his body, you used your thumb to cast aside the few droplets spilling over his bottom lip. Elevating your thumb, you sucked at the digit as his fingers brushed your thighs dangerously higher.
“Go on, big boy,” you taunted him, snarling with a small smirk, “Show me all the ways you can please a woman.”
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Horrified eyes, shocked lips and tense shoulders were littered throughout the tavern. Cadets, marines, generals, admirals and other warlords dare not spare the two of you more than a subtle glance before returning their attention to their tankards.
Not a breath was huffed, nor a murmur mentioned at the prior exposure of Mihawk's bare ass in the sandstone building. Although none spoke it, all eyes held an intense silent understanding they all shared.
Both warlords were in for a wild ride.
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desertfangs · 5 months
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Since you write a lot do you have tips for people who want to write more?
Hi, anon! I can sure try and tell you some of what works for me!
Ignore advice that you don’t find helpful (that includes these tips!)
Writing is a process, but your writing process is always going to be unique to you, so if something doesn’t work for you, trying to implement it is only going to make you miserable. Like some people will tell you to write every day, but sometimes the pressure of that is going to be too much. Basically anything that doesn’t work for you, chuck it in the bin. You don’t need it.
Put your word processor in full screen
I write in Scrivener, which has a “composition mode” but you can also just put your document on full screen to minimize distractions. That way it’s harder to flip over to check Discord or Tumblr or whatever. Of course, I still exit out of full screen every time I need to look something up in the thesaurus and then I end up spending 15 minutes screwing around on the internet so you know, it's not a perfect system.
Work on several things at once and don’t be afraid to step away if a story isn’t working
Granted, my writing method is like throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks, so I tend to start a lot of stuff that fizzles out after a few paragraphs (or a few thousand words 😭😭) and I know juggling multiple things does not work for everyone.
I personally usually need at least 2 current WIPs, so I can switch to the second when I get stuck on the first. This means even while I’m ruminating on one fic, I’m writing another. But I have friends who literally can’t write on more than one project at a time or their brains will explode, so again, it’s just about what works best for you.
[BRACKETS]
If you’re stuck on something like a detail or a fact you need to look up or a piece of dialogue (“How the fuck would Lestat respond to THAT?” is my constant refrain, my cats are tired of hearing it), just put something in brackets like [Lestat replies with something flirty or witty] or [Fact check if X] or whatever it is, and then you can move on and keep going and not lose your momentum.
Set a Timer
If you're struggling to make yourself focus and write, set a timer for 10, 15, 25 minutes (whatever increment of time works for you!) and write until it goes off. You can keep going after if you're on a roll, or your can stop for a while, but it will get you into the mindset of writing. And even if that's all you do that day, hey, you wrote for 10 minutes!
Kill your need for perfection and that critic in your brain
I am still working on this but it’s true! You can make your WIP more perfect in editing. The old adage that you can’t fix a blank page is correct. And honestly, a lot of times I will write something and think ‘ugh this is no good’ and then go back and read it weeks later and really dig it. Or I figure out what it needs to make it better. (Or sometimes it still sucks and we just pretend it never happened.) But no one else has to see your first drafts! So don’t stress about making the first draft super good or agonize too much over word choice. Just get words on the page and worry about making it better later.
I hope you find some of that helpful, Anon!
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KSJDJDKSJD this is just an idea I’ve had in my head for a bit, but like… do u think… that Atreus was the wolf kid, but he was just super quiet abt it… So like, in gow(2018) him and Kratos are running or smthn, and bc Kratos is always super quiet Atreus would like entertain himself by pretending he’s a wolf LMAO
Or better yet, do u think Kratos would ever take the time to play wolves with Atreus??
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this ask truly had me on the verge of tears AAHHA I hope I did this justice because omgggg. I’m dead ;_; Atreus was ABSOLUTELY a wolf kid, sadly I don’t think Kratos played wolves with him (maybe when he was an itty baby)……. But I think he’d have to tolerate him doing this on the journey because let’s be real this is canon
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the-kingshound · 13 days
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EVAINE LOVING HOURS LET'S GO
i adore them endlessly good god people are sleeping on them so much i mean a character that has carefully curated public persona?? who doesn't allow themselves to be true to who they are?? lonely, loved, and hated at the same time?? who flirts and has flings without batting an eye but melts when shown genuine affection?? AND the recent concept that they shouldnt allow more rumors to spread if they're in a relationship with the hound leaves me with the mental image of them both pretending to not know eachother and keep their distance in public but hound gently nuzzling into them as soon as the doors are locked??? kissing their shoulder and apologizing because they feel so bad about it???? that is so GOOD and i am so SOFT
I too think Evaine is the most underappreciated of the ROs... and yet, they offer so much, especially for the Hounds who seek a less conflicted, tender romance.
Evaine is so starved of affection they take every crumb they can get, even if it's from the worst people. They have been taken advantage of because of this, because people have seen the hole they try to fill and taken Evaine as a possession, or a toy to later discard.
Evaine is the RO that would fall in love and always think of MC. Lay in their bed and cuddle close to MC. Lean on them for a quick peck on the cheek when they can. Trying to not be seen, feeling uncomfortable whenever someone is too close, or whenever they are excluded and shunned. Seeking comfort and belonging in MC's presence.
Evaine would simply nuzzle against MC, burying their face against their lover's neck as MC apologizes, simply glad that now they can be together.
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coryothesub · 6 days
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Coryo from the academy being bullied by his classmates, the reader defends him, but with other intentions *wink, wink*
Oh dear anon this is an idea I didn't know I needed but I legit fell in love with it! This is also my first time writing Academy Coryo and I really enjoyed it, he’s just so innocent I can't... 
nsfw / mdni / academy!sub!coryo / academy!dom!reader
You were on your way to the library when you noticed a couple of girls taunting Coriolanus Snow in the hallway.
He was a year younger than you and you didn't know much about him except for the obvious fact that he was cute. And apparently he had some money problems because the whole conflict was about some extra food he had taken from the cafeteria for later.
“I knew it!” Valentia Frost looked upon him with an evil grin waving that goddamn sandwich in the air.
“Look at this little snob trying to act like he's one of us, but the Snows are actually a bunch of hungry beggars. So pathetic!”
Coriolanus stood by the wall completely frozen clutching at his textbooks. His face was flooded in red and you noticed tears welling up in his big blue eyes. He looked as if he was about to die from embarrassment and you suddenly felt sorry for him. Luckily you had the reputation of a menace after you had knocked out the biggest guy in your class when he tried to put a frog down your shirt.
“Leave him alone Valentia!” you shouted at her across the hallway. “The boy just wants to eat.”
“What are you his chaperone now?” The mean girl looked annoyed by your interference but she was also hesitant to push your buttons.
You approached her and stood dangerously close.
“Just fuck off!” You hissed and she reluctantly walked away, her clique following her immediately.
You grabbed Coryo by the hand and dragged him into an empty classroom nearby.
“Here you can eat your sandwich in peace.”
“T-thank you,” he said quietly, still looking terrified and embarrassed.
You approached him slowly and he started stepping back until he was stopped by an empty desk, he felt it pressing against his rear end and started leaning back as he felt your hot breath mere centimeters from his face.
“Don’t rush to thank me yet. Do you really think I'm done with you already?”
“I-I don't have any money…” Coryo confessed, his face bright red with shame.
You almost couldn't believe how innocent he was. He literally thought you were gonna make him pay for protection as if you were some kind of mob boss.
“I don't need your money, blondie,” you cooed and let your hand wander under his uniform kilt touching him rather inappropriately.
Coryo's mouth flew open as he slowly started to realize what were your true intentions.
It looked like he was trying to say something but words weren't coming out of his mouth, he just stared at you, his big baby blue eyes wide with shock.
You kept palming him for a short moment, then stopped abruptly.
“Of course, I’m not gonna do anything you don't like.”
The loss of contact elicited a soft whine from Coryo's lips.
“No, no, please…” he suddenly regained the ability to speak.
“Please what?” You teased, it was so arousing to see him all bushy and ashamed like that.
“Please continue… I did enjoy that.”
You leaned even closer to him, your lips lingering just near his.
“Okay then,” you whispered, causing his breath to hitch.
You let your lips press against his in what turned into a gentle kiss. You thought of it as pretty chaste, but Coryo almost jumped when he felt your lips on his.
Could it be possible that he hadn't even made out with a girl? The thought alone caused wetness to pool up in your panties.
You gave him a flirtatious smile and started unbuttoning your uniform jacket and shirt, revealing that you were wearing a pristine white bra. Without hesitation you pulled your titties out of the lacy fabric making Coryo gasp at the sight.
“Do you like what you see, Coriolanus?”
“I-I think you can call me Coryo now,” the boy was barely able to get the words out.
“You have beautiful breasts. May I…?”
Instead of an answer you took his hands and placed them on your tits. Coryo started fondling them carefully, his thumbs circling around your nipples, which were getting hard under his touch.
Enjoying his warm and soft hands on your skin you unzipped your uniform pants and let them fall freely on your neat shoes, followed by your panties.
You sat Coryo on the side of the desk and climbed on top of him, straddling his hips, then got his kilt out of the way and slowly lowered yourself on his bulge, letting out a soft moan at the feeling of your naked wet pussy pressing against the raw fabric.
Coryo watched your movements in awe, his eyes widening at the sight of your bare cunt landing just above his aching cock. He wanted to fuck you so badly but you had decided to leave that for later.
You knew his virgin cock wouldn't be able to take it for too long so you started rubbing your dripping cunt against his hard-on slowly grinding your hips back and forth.
Coryo let out a cute little whimper and you echoed it with a moan finally feeling a little relief for your aching pussy.
“So responsive, baby, so hard for me already,” you whispered against his lips before catching them in another kiss. Coryo kept making the cutest sounds that vibrated against your mouth as you kept rubbing yourself on him making circular movements to get some friction for your clit.
The blonde boy moved lower leaving a trail of soft warm kisses down your neck and wrapping his lips around your nipple. He sucked on your titties hungrily as you dug your fingers into his soft blonde curls and tugged on them gently feeling your climax slowly approaching.
You sped up your movements grinding yourself against his rock hard bulge with full intensity feeling your wetness overflowing and staining his red uniform pants. The friction felt so damn good that it brought you over the edge and you threw your head back moaning loudly as you came all over his clothed cock.
You grabbed Coryo's face and kissed him roughly feeling his whole body trembling as he came inside his pants. The boy's mouth fell open and you licked along his lips and tongue as he savored his orgasm, probably the most powerful he had experienced yet. 
After climbing off Coryo's lap you looked at him with a satisfied smirk. The boy's pants were completely messed up, both from his cum and yours, he sat there panting heavily, his face flushed and hair disheveled. He looked so pretty like that.
“Look at all the mess you made,” you mused. “Turns out you're a little whore, Coriolanus Snow.”
Coryo had no arguments to refute that. The shade of red filling his cheeks only got a bit deeper.
“Are we going to do this again?” He asked, looking at you curiously.
You smiled at him and adjusted his kilt, hiding the big wet stains on his pants.
“Of course darling, I’ve still got a lot to teach you after all.”
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crunchchute · 5 months
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your take on Dave during the holidays what would the silly man be up to?
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sorry this took so long, i guess i wasnt in the christmas mood earlier. initially i wanted to go for like, Dave alone just patroling the mall, having just a tiny ratty christmas tree on his office desk or something but, that was too sad. i think of him (or specifically think of William) as a guy that goes all out on decor, but it's hard to project that onto Dave somehow... what does this man do away from work? needs to be studied more.
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crow-n-tell · 1 year
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UR SEA CREANTCHER DCAS ARE SO SO SO SILLY CAN I HUG SUN ON THE BIG FRICKIN SAFE ZONE????????????? UR ART IS SO SLAYCORE BTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Here hab hug
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allastoredeer · 16 days
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I’d love to hear about your radioapple headcanons!!
What do you think their love languages would be?
Who cooks for the other?
Have they ever considered sleeping in the same bed?
What would they bond over? Etc
Oooh hoo! I'm actually making them explore their love languages in the fic I'm writing right LMAO.
But yeah! I'll share some of my brain thoughts!!
Their love languages:
Lucifer's Lover Language: Gift Giving (he likes creating things, especially if he has someone specific in mind because that's when its got the most heart and effort in it, and people accepting his gifts and genuinely liking them mean the absolute word to him), Words of Affirmation (sometimes he just needs some affirmation, you know? Sometimes he needs to be told he's doing a good job), and Physical Touch (likes the closeness and intimacy of it, whether its cuddling, sex, or just holding hands).
Alastor's Love Language: Acts of Service (he shows his love by doing things for you, be it home cooked meals, picking up a few things for you, or killing someone. It's all in the name of love, baby!), Words of Affirmation (give him compliments. He needs them like air. if there's any stroking going on, it's going to be strokes to his ego), and Quality Time (arranged quality time, to be specific. I feel like he wouldn't like people popping up on him out of nowhere and dragging him off. Well, unless you're Rosie, maybe. Anyway, sometimes it's just being in his own room, doing his own thing, in the companionship of Lucifer's company. They can talk and argue and banter, but companionable silence is good too.)
Who cooks for the other?
Alastor.
Alastor def cooks for Lucifer when he actually enjoys being in his presence. He knows a lot of home-cooked meals, as well as a variety of desserts and sweets (even if he, personally, doesn't like sweet things). Some of it is because he enjoys cooking for people he likes, and some of it is just because it's a fun hobby to him. He likes learning how to cook new recipes, even if he might not like that recipe himself.
I think Lucifer knows how to cook. Maybe nothing extravagant or super complicated, but he can make a good dish. As soon as Charlie moved out, he kind of fell out of it, though. Anything he made for himself was Hell's equivalent of a microwaveable dinner. He just did not have the motivation, energy, or mental/emotional capacity to put a lot of effort into himself. He really enjoyed cooking things for Charlie, and I actually think he'd tried to cook Alastor's favorite dish as a surprise for him (for their anniversary, or an in-house date night, or just as a random act of love, because I feel like Lucifer would do a lot of spur-of-the-moment, random acts of love).
Have they ever considered sleeping in the same bed?
They did, eventually, when their relationship got to the point they felt comfortable doing that. Alastor likes his space, and he doesn't like people intruding on it. His room is his comfort zone. He doesn't mind physical touch, but it needs to be on his own terms. Sometimes, he's okay with cuddling up next to Lucifer, and sometimes he just needs his space while he's sleeping.
Lucifer can still be in the bed, he's just gotta stay on his side.
Lucifer, on the other hand, is a big cuddler. He's incredibly touch-starved from being on his own for so long, so he'll take the physical touch he can get. Alastor can recognize when Lucifer needs more physical touch, and he'll offer it so long as he's also mentally able to as well.
The more they get used to each other's presence, the more Alastor is open to Lucifer sleeping in the same bed with him, and indulging in physical contact. Lucifer is patient, and if Alastor wants him to stay on his side of the bed one night, he's fine with that. He'll get his cuddles again, eventually.
What would they bond over?
How bad modern television/entertainment is. It's all quantity over quality. There's rarely any real passion put into it. It's all to make as much money as possible, without putting life into the story.
Alastor is an entertainer. As a radio host, all he had to keep a captive audience was his voice and whatever other sounds he decided to use. It's all audio. And he has passion for entertainment. It needs flair! Drama! Charm!
All the modern stuff just feels so bland and lazy (and maybe he's a little too harsh on it sometimes. Even if he comes across something he actually likes, he'll NEVER admit it).
Lucifer just wants something good to watch, but anything he put on just didn't hit it for him. Sometimes, just sitting on the couch for hours watching cash-grab movies/shows made him feel even worse about himself, and creating ducks at least gave him some enjoyment, so he turned to that.
He doesn't have as much vehemence for modern entertainment as Alastor. If he finds something he likes, he'll happily watch it (much to Alastor dismay). But he rarely finds anything that REALLY intrigues him, so he just doesn't go searching for it very often.
I also think they would bond over their respective hobbies. Lucifer likes making and collecting ducks. Alastor likes collecting furbies. They go hobby shopping together. Alastor rearranges and dusts off his furbies, while Lucifer creates his ducks. They co-play.
Additional headcanons (some of which you guys might already know!):
Alastor Bottoms and Lucifer Tops (In this specific relationship. Lucifer, himself, is a switch (which is canon!), but Alastor doesn't like topping- or inserting any part of himself into someone else. It's icks him out. He's okay with taking on a more passive bottom role. He might be convinced to Top, maybe, but it rarely ever happens).
Alastor is sex neutral, in the way that he's okay with having sex when he feels up to it, but he's also totally fine with not having it at all (Except when Lucifer goes demon mode in bed, because he has a power kink, and he is ALL for that. It's the only time he'll be an active bottom during sex).
Lucifer has a very high libido. It dropped a lot in the 7 years that he isolated himself in his palace (and because of depression. Depression definitely had a hand in that too), but as he starts getting into a better mind space and getting the mental-health help he needs, his libido comes back full force. He'll never push Alastor into doing anything, and he's okay with taking care of his sexual needs on his own, he's just a very, very horny man. He loves the intimacy, closeness, and pleasure that comes with sex, and loves sharing that with his partner. It's very important to him. It took a while for Alastor to really understand WHY sex is so important to Lucifer, as it doesn't really make sense to him, but once he did, he tries to be more active when they do have sex - or more proactive in initiating it (of course, only when he wants to, because you shouldn't force yourself to have sex with your partner!)
Alastor and Lucifer argue about the stupidest, most random, most insignificant things. It'll lead to full on shouting matches, and then 10 minutes later, they're chilling on the couch like nothing happened at all. They argue for the sake of arguing. The more heated, the better.
Annnd, that's all I have time for right now, but I do have more headcanons tumbling around in my head. Many thoughts.
These two are silly.
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