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actually-autisticc · 1 year

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My thoughts on the Super Mario Movie

My autistic ass needs someone to talk to about this film and I have nobody. I know I don’t post as often anymore on here but I need to let this energy out. Here’s what did work and didn’t work

What did work:

the animation: DAMN. It looked amazing. I loved how smooth they looked on screen and the details of the character models, the background, etc. You can tell they put a lot of love into it. It felt so nice to see our favorite video game characters on screen like this. All of the references were such a joy to find and recognize. It’s also crazy that Mario came from being an 8bit model to this glorious, detailed, 3D model. And some scenes “camera” moved in a way that would be in a game. When Mario and Luigi were on their way to their first plumbing job, the “camera” moved sideways as the first Mario games were side-scrolling. When Toad and Mario were heading to the castle and poor Mario was being thrown around, the “camera” moved around like I guess the newer games? I mean it looked like Super Mario Odyssey but there could be other games, I haven’t played every single one (now I want to). Really cool attention to detail. My autistic ass loves attention to detail. The models looked good as well like Bowser’s scales and the brothers’ clothing. Funny how 3D animation wasn’t as detailed before like with Veggietales and Toy Story 1 but now we have HAIR. You get it.

The music: Some parts hit, some didn’t. I loved the orchestral remixes of our beloved songs. When the kart scene came on, I immediately recognized the music and felt PUMPED, especially when they were making the karts and I heard the Mario Kart 8 theme. I wanted to jump out of my seat but couldn’t cause I didn’t wanna be weird. Hearing the theme songs as well felt satisfying. It scratched that itch I didn’t know I needed to be scratched. I found myself listening to the soundtrack right after. I’m glad they chose 80’s songs rather than fucking Doja Cat or whatever but it still threw me off hearing Take On Me, Holding Out for a Hero, and Mr. Blue Sky. (Cmon Shrek did Holding Out better. No topping it) As much as I love those songs, I remembered that this is an Illumination movie so of course they’d have popular songs. If they left the pop songs in the human world and kept the Mario songs in the Mushroom kingdom, etc, it would’ve made a little more sense. No Sleep til Brooklyn was good tho, made sense cause they live in Brooklyn and they were in the human world.

Chris Pratt: Yes, I know everyone was skeptical of Chris Pratt playing Mario. I love Chris in Guardians of the Galaxy as Peter Quill so I didn’t have much doubt but since he is a celebrity and you know how movies these days (mainly Illumination) love to get big names in their films. I wasn’t disappointed. He was good, not bad. As much as I love Martinet’s iconic Mario, I don’t think I’d be able to handle hearing it the whole time. It’s iconic but let’s be real hearing “let’s-a-go!” the whole time is a bit jarring. Mario’s from Brooklyn so that’s what Chris tried. And his Wahoo! was good! You knew he didn’t want to ruin this character because of how much it holds. He TRIED. And Martinet as Giuseppe saying “it’s a perfect!” Felt like he was sharing the torch with Chris. He squished all the critics doubts by saying “he’s Mario too, it’s fine. Deal with it.” Hearing the voice made me smile so wide, it was like hearing an old friend. I think he even said that doing Mario’s voice too much hurt so we don’t want him to feel any pain for our sake! We all owe Chris an apology. You did great bro

Seth Rogan: I love DK. He’s big, loud, goofy, and strong. Seth did that right and honestly idk who else would play him. Hearing Seth’s iconic laugh made me laugh, idk who can hate it. It fit DK as it kind of…sounded ape-like? The whole fight between Mario and DK was straight out of a game. I loved the interaction between DK and Mario. They’re enemies at first but soon, they respect each other as in the games. I wish that wasn’t the whole character development between two characters in the movie, I wish it was Mario & Luigi, Mario and toad, or Mario and Peach. Hell, even Mario and Bowser. But this is only the first movie so we’ll see more

Anna-Taylor Joy: not much to say about her. I think Peach was fun and I’m glad they didn’t go the “damsel in distress” or “girl boss” route. I’m tired of woke. We get it, we’re becoming SOMEWHAT better in terms of shit like that but god we don’t need it every time. Peach was a badass, she cared for her kingdom and subjects, and she was sweet. That’s Peach! It wasn’t the “I don’t need no man” or forced relationship with Mario and that was good. I loved Peach’s racing outfit too and all the power ups. Peach was awesome, I’m glad they didn’t ruin her

Charlie Day: I haven’t seen much of him but wow I loved his Luigi! I always loved Luigi, he was always the b guy and he deserves a lot of love. He’s adorable. I wish Luigi had more of an interaction with Bowser. We could’ve gotten a lot of funny scenes with them together (of course it’d be fuel to the shipping fire) and it was cut too short. I mean, bowser didn’t need MUCH from Luigi, he just needed information so it wouldn’t make sense why he’d keep him around when he could throw him in the dungeon with Luma, the penguins, etc. And the whole thing with Mario and Luigi “sticking together” was nice but…they weren’t together AS much? Yes, Bowser kidnapped him but idk it didn’t really feel so emotional. Their team up at the end was amazing of course, had the biggest smile with the star music on. Luigi must be protected

Keegan-Michael Key: His Toad was good! Kind of wished we saw more of Toad and Mario together but he was the comic relief. Sucked he wasn’t in it as much but maybe next movie.

Jack Black: MY MAN. GOD HE KILLED IT. Was that any surprise? No, everyone knew Jack was gonna bring his a-game and he did. Bowser’s singing was amazing, I was cracking up during that scene. PEACHES PEACHES PEACHES aah it’s good. I loved how Bowser went from his usual scary self to a big sweetheart who just wants to love someone. Yea, he did threaten to kill Peach’s kingdom if she didn’t marry him but hey he said he wouldn’t if she agreed! You can absolutely tell Jack loved his role and that’s so important in movies for it to turn out well. Honestly, I’d say Bowser was my favorite in the whole movie! (Ngl, Bowser kinda..) Bowser was intimidating at parts, especially with Luigi. He was a lot scarier than I remembered and damn he is a power house. Im surprised that I didn’t see him utilize his shell and spin with it but whatever.

The story: yes there wasn’t much of a big plot. Do I care? Not really. It’s Mario! You don’t really need a plot per se because you already know the characters, you know the concept of Super Mario. To me, it was as if I was playing a really well animated game. It was fast, fun, and left me with a warm fuzzy feeling. The plot WAS Bowser coming, Mario and Luigi starting a company and not feeling like they’re on top. You don’t need a different story with Mario. Yes, this movie wasn’t on the level of Into the Spider-Verse or Puss in Boots like we were expecting but it didn’t need to be. I had a great time with a story or not

The sound effects: god, the little kid in me wanted to SCREAM. It felt so satisfying to hear all the sounds we hear in the games from hitting a shell, hitting the mystery box, or landing on the flag pole at the end of a level. They really hit the nail with them. And Luigi’s ringtone was GameCube!!

Oh yeah I loved Kamek’s voice. He sounded exactly how I pictured it. He was great. Loved the scene of him dressing up as Peach and getting ANGRY that he didn’t kiss Bowser

What didn’t work:

The slow motion moments: this was when I remembered “oh yea, illumination made this.” Some of the moments were fine with Mario giving Peach a side eye (with rizz). That was funny. But all the other times, it felt like the screaming goats in Thor Love and Thunder. In other words, it was used too much. To me, the slow-motion parts are just “haha, their voice is deep and slow. They move slowly. Haha funny joke.”

The songs: I did say the songs worked but they didn’t at the same time. I LOVED hearing all the familiar songs and sounds from the games. I liked the 80’s songs as Mario was made in the 80’s but it didn’t fit movie. As I said, it would’ve been better if they kept the 80’s songs in the human world and the Mario-esque songs in the Mushroom Kingdom, etc. But Illumination has gotta…illuminate I guess

The pacing: I felt like it was TOO quick. They go from Mario ending up in the Mushroom Kingdom and he finds Toad with barely an introduction and they rush to the castle. Then Mario finds Peach who just so happens to be going to the same place at the right time. There wasn’t enough time to breathe and there could’ve been so many good character interactions and development if they made it longer. We could have had more of Bowser and Luigi, Mario and Toad and Peach. I mean there are lots of characters and they have yet to introduce Yoshi, the Koopalings, and Daisy so hopefully it will be better in the second.

Illumination: I’m not too crazy with this studio. I love Despicable Me 1&2 but the rest are just meh. There were moments in the movie that were just so like this studio that it somewhat felt weird. The plumbing scene was funny but I think that is a good example. The whole thing with the dog being malicious was an Illumination thing. So were some of the models of the humans. The songs. Idk. If this movie was made by another studio like Dreamworks or Sony, maybe it would’ve been better??

Overall, I’d give this movie a 7.5/10. It had great moments and a lot going for it but there is still room for improvement. And that’s completely okay because we still have another movie. We only saw these characters on screen for ONE movie so there’s still more to be seen. I say fuck the critics, they don’t know what they’re talking about. This movie didn’t need to be woke or whatever. It almost didn’t need a plot. This movie was such a beautiful love letter to all of the Nintendo fans and I was smiling the entire time. They knew not to make it flop because of how iconic and beloved Mario is. I felt like a little kid again as I watched my favorite video game characters on screen and now I feel the need to play my Wii or switch. I look forward to seeing what they do in the next film.

TLDR: go see it. It’s a lot of fun

Also LET ME VOICE YOSHI I CAN DO HIS VOICE. IM GOING TO BE ON A TEACHER’S SALARY IM GONNA BE BROKE

#super mario #super Mario movie #mario #bowser #Luigi #princess peach #peaches peaches peaches peaches peaches #donkey kong #toad #Nintendo #can we get an animal crossing movie

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disappointingyet · 5 months

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A bunch of movies that didn't make my final films of the year – some of them are very good, mind (and one or two really aren't).

Godzilla Minus One

Very much not to be confused with the current US Godzilla movies, this comes from Toho Studios and not only goes back to the start, but the story is all about Japan coming to terms with World War II. Our central (human) character is Koichi Shikishima (Ryunosuke Kamiki) a guilt-ridden former fighter pilot trying to get by in bomb-flattened Tokyo. He acquires not one but two found families: a young woman and the child she rescued from the rubble, and the crew of the minesweeper he finds work on. The healing for both the material and psychic damage seems underway when a massive, mysterious creature – which Shikishima encountered during the war – reappears, only bigger and with new powers…

G-M1 is a talky film with sombre stretches (there are jokes, too), with lots of grief and guilt and trying to figure out how not to make the same mistakes again*. And, in between all that, we get a big stompy monster (this is mean Godzilla, not saviour Godzilla). The special effects do the job: you’re unlikely to be awestruck, but equally I didn’t spend any time wanting to chuck something at the screen as I often do with (say) Marvel movies.

Satisfying.

(*I was trying to think of other movies where I successfully guessed what was going to happen not so much because of plot tropes as ideology… the only one that springs to mind is the Robert Aldrich-directed Burt Lancaster & Gary Cooper Mexican-set Western Vera Cruz.)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem

What were the odds, in the year of full superhero backlash, that there would be a critically endorsed Ninja Turtles movie? But here it is, and yes, it’s good. Essentially, TMNT:MM is (as far as I know) lo the first post-Spider-verse film, embracing the idea that comic-book adaptations can look drawn. This is 3D computer animation, but it’s not trying to look solid or clean, and so you don’t end up with Shrekian chunkiness. It’s weird and colourful and sometimes rather beautiful.

It’s a basic origin story: how did these strange creatures come to be, why do they regard a rat as their father, what other weird animals are lurking in New York? Well, for one, Superfly, a massive insect styled after Ron O’Neal’s Blaxploitation antihero and voiced by Ice Cube.

The movie leans hard into the ‘teenage’ part of the title - these are kids, cocky, confused, bored, trying to fit in and figure themselves out (often contradictory impulses.) The script is by Seth Rogen and chums, so doesn’t take itself too seriously.

There’s an argument to be had about whether famous faces deserve to be the voice leads in animated movies - surely specialists are better at the job and anyway, much of the time nobody recognises it’s eg, Chris Pratt. But here, I think the star casting works - as well as Cube, we get Jackie Chan being very endearing as Splinter the rat, a brief but perfect turn from Giancarlo Esposito and the ubiquitous Ayo Edebiri as April.

The soundtrack is ace - and maybe gives away who the target audience is: it’s a bunch of late 1980s/90s hip-hop standards.

The storytelling isn’t groundbreaking but the visuals are so good. One of the best surprises of the year.

Dungeons & Dragons: Honour Among Thieves

Essentially: ‘You know that game the kids in Stranger Things play? The one people used to get beat up for been associated with but now movie stars boast about their expertise at? Let’s do a Guardians Of The Galaxy-style film based on that.’ So they did, and gathered a more-than-decent cast: Chris Pine*, Michelle Rodriguez and Hugh Grant, and send them off on some questing. The jokes do the job, the dialogue largely non-fantasy mode, Rodriguez does all the action and Pine is the Hannibal Smith-esque generator of plans (but w/tragic backstory). As this kind of adventure movie goes, it’s comfortably above average: not as good as the first Guardians, the first Pirates Of The Caribbean or Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle, but better than most of the tosh out there. *Brudenell Road’s most famous former resident!

They Cloned Tyrone

Strange things seem to be happening in the hood and a drug dealer (John Boyega), a sex worker (Teyonah Parris) and – reluctantly – a pimp (Jamie Foxx) team up to investigate. This is a comedy with sci-fi elements as well as things that would be horror if this had a different vibe. Maybe think of this as a much broader take on Jordan Peele’s Get Out or Nope or a less way-out Sorry To Bother You. Although it’s set now, there are nods to the Blaxploitation era (Foxx’s hair, various cars.) There’s a nice murky look to the night scenes, a tangible atmosphere and an excellent cast – so plenty to enjoy.

(Netflix)

Theater Camp

Fond and indulgent mockumentary made by a bunch of chums who grew up as theatre kids. Very familiar set-up: much-loved thespian institution (in this case, a summer camp) has its future under threat – will everyone rally round for a big show to save the day?

There are plenty of familiar faces here, particularly if you’ve seen Booksmart and The Bear (Molly Gordon, who is one of the directors, writers and stars of this links that terrific film and that excellent TV show.)

Ben Platt, who has become even more mocked and reviled in critical and showbiz gossip circles than his Pitch Perfect cast mates, makes the wise decision to write himself a largely dickish character to play.

Theater Camp mostly manages to be the right kind of silly – I enjoyed it a bunch. (Disney +)

Bottoms

Extremely daft although reasonably fun comedy. Rachel Sennott and Ayo Edebiri (who are both 28 years old and aren’t trying to fool you otherwise) play a pair of unpopular high-school kids who start a female fight club with the hope of hooking up with the cheerleaders they have crushes on. It’s very silly, gets a reasonable amount of mileage out of people punching each other and has plenty of decent jokes. Had me thinking of Rock ’n’ Roll High School more than I expected.

Three Musketeers: Part 1 - D’Artagnan

Yes, yet another version of the Dumas book. This one has the virtue of being actually French. The vibe is somewhat gritty: the fights include guns and punching rather than only elegant sword work. Many of buildings are actual historic buildings rather something fairly see-through cobbled together on a computer. We get Vincent Cassel and Romain Duris as Athos and Aramis, plus Louis Garrel as the king. I’ve never really got Eva Green but she makes perfect sense as Milady. What’s added (from what I remember of the book) is a conspiracy involving a war-hungry faction at court and the Protestant rebellion.* Anyway, this is a solid and satisfying period action movie.

*To be clear, the siege of La Rochelle is in the book - it’s what leads to that that’s new here.

Maestro

Are you intrigued by the idea of current movie stars attempted many-layered 1940s accents? How about a film half in the lushest of lush black & white and half in fairly authentic-looking late 1960s colour, also rather beautiful? Tidal waves of great, great music? Fully committed performances? Some genuinely extraordinary, including a scene where biopic slips into ballet…

Bradley Cooper’s Leonard Bernstein biopic is wildly ambitious, and it succeeds more than I was anticipating. Cooper, as often, gives a better performance than I expect him to. Carey Mulligan is excellent as Felicia Montealegre, Bernstein’s wife, even if the accent escapes her occasionally. It looks and sounds incredible.

But? It’s a big film with a small story at its heart. Firstly, what happens to a marriage between two people in the arts when their careers have very different trajectories? 'Isn’t the only other film Cooper has directed A Star Is Born?', you point out correctly.

Secondly, what happens to that marriage if it begins with the acceptance that one of this pair is going to continue shagging other people, but once there are kids to consider that seems less cool and you don’t feel like trying to explain to your daughter why her middle-aged father is chasing young men around, especially because this is only the 1970s…

I’m certainly not saying a film needs to say big stuff. But Maestro has a scale and sense of importance that seems at odds with what it wants to talk about. We do get some scenes with Bernstein pronouncing about music in grand terms – and those are the worst parts of the movie. But other than hearing the tunes, we don’t really get much of a sense of why Bernstein was such an imposing cultural figure. Credit to Cooper for acknowledging the pivot that most based-on-real-life stories take if they span a fair bit of time: things are fun, and then they are difficult. In Maestro, that fun part is not just in b&w, but the rules of space and time don’t apply. As we’re watching them, that’s clearly the case within scenes, but as we learn in the colour second half, things that you would have guessed took a couple of weeks took several years. All of that first part, it seems but is never stated, was lovely memories that edit all the tricky stuff.

Not a wholly successful film then, but one I’m really glad I watched and even a little regretful I didn’t see it on the big screen. (Netflix)

Creed III

Better than Creed II, nowhere near as good as Creed. Michael B Jordan does a decent job as the director and introduces some interesting visual elements. There’s no Stallone, which I’m fine with. The issue is a classic genre film trap: how to get the main character back to doing the thing the franchise needs them to do, even though that’s a terrible choice. Weirdly, for once, if this was hyper-realism, that wouldn’t be a problem – legendary boxers clamber out of retirement and back into the ring the whole time, often repeatedly. But in this movie, Adonis Creed seems to have too much going on – as the beautiful, successful guy with a beautiful, talented family – and to be too smart to get himself clobbered again. True to life, but somehow implausible within this fiction.

(Prime)

Babylon

Damien Chazelle’s massive, noisy discursion on the history of Hollywood is a film I definitely enjoyed talking about – there was so much to debate. But it was probably more fun talking about it than it was watching the last two hours of the movie (maybe watch the two big set pieces at the start and then stop?)

Full review here

Air

Schlubby dudes sit around in dingy offices arguing about the details of a deal for a young athlete to endorse a shoe. Not a painful watch, but nothing that Affleck/Damon manage here convinces me that this is a story worthy of cinema and not a very long Nike ad.

Full review here

Barbie

On the one hand, most of Barbie was fun, and an impressive feat of multi-level storytelling (eg, the very niche joke at the expense of fans of 1990s indie band Pavement.) Could’ve done without the Will Ferrell and Rhea Perlman bits, but a billion-dollar box office movie taking the piss out of the patriarchy is a great thing.

On the other, as much as I want to celebrate popular art, in my heart I know I’d rather Gerwig was making films like Lady Bird or Mistress America. Much as I hope Boden and Fleck’s future work is more like Sugar or Mississippi Grind than Captain Marvel, and that Cate Shortland goes back to films like Somersault and Lore instead of Black Widow.

Ferrari

In some ways, this could be a companion piece to Maestro – another film about wife who has sort-of-tolerated the chronic infidelity of her giant-of-the-20th-century husband. Although, in this case, he's only cheating with women and by the time the film is set – the late 1950s – only one woman. In Michael Mann's movie, Adam Driver plays Enzo Ferrari, Penélope Cruz Laura Ferrari and Shailene Woodley the mistress. These people, you may have noticed, are not Italian. Yes, this is a film in English in which the actors do accents to indicate they are speaking Italian (the bit players, confusingly, talk actual Italian). I'm generally not in favour of that approach. This isn't a biopic, as such – it seemingly takes place over a few months as Enzo faces simultaneous work and personal crisis, linked by Laura, who was his work partner as well as spouse. Cruz is excellent value as the fuming, grieving Laura. Driver – has his hair ever been this short on film – is good too, and wears excellent suits. It looks lovely, too – whatever issues Mann had during the early digital switchover (Collateral?!) are long past. But the ending just fizzles out, in a way that leaves me wondering (other than Cruz being entertainingly furious) what this was all about. And the big events just before that are handled in a way I found both clunky and kind of distasteful. (I feel you need to be at least somewhat careful portraying real-life tragedies on screen. And also announcing your characters bear no responsibility when with all things taken into account, they do.) One of those films that I was very into when I was watching, but increasingly less so on the walk home.

No Hard Feelings

The sort-of-return of the once weirdly popular older-woman-deflowers-kid ‘raunchy comedy’ genre. This being 2023, the kid is a legal 19 but socially awkward, inexperienced etc (I mean, to be fair, there are a lot of people like that). Jennifer Lawrence plays the desperate-for-cash local who is hired by a Princeton-bound nerd’s parents to make a man of him. The film is well cast, and some of the jokes work… ‘the hey! we’ve all learned something’ stuff maybe less so. Pretty OK.

The Killer

Michael Fassbender plays a stat-bore hitman in David Fincher’s fan-boy-pleasing thriller. Some generally sane critics reckon it’s a blinder. I reckon it’s cliched, obvious and very grating. (Many of the arguments in its favour are based on the idea that it is Fincher taking the piss out of himself – to which I say, who cares?)

Starts well as Fassbender is patiently doing the tedious prep for a kill in Paris, but goes duff quickly once he’s off on the obligatory revenge kick. Fassbender’s American accent is horrible, the gags are thumpingly obvious and yet triple-underlined in case you didn’t get them the first time. I kept hoping against hope that one of Fassbender’s enemies would finish him off and we’d be done with all of this. Tilda Swinton is good but she only gets one scene. (Fassbender had a supporting role in Fincher’s bestie Steven Soderbergh’s somewhat similar Haywire, which – for my money – is way better.)

(Netflix)

Love At First Sight

Industry wisdom is the romcom is one of the genres people will no longer pay to see in a cinema but will consume happily on streaming. Netflix is notorious for putting out loads of them with TV-movie production levels. This is maybe one of their higher budget efforts? I saw it because Haley Lu Richardson was great in two of my favourite movies of recent times: Columbus and Support The Girls.

LAFS* feels like three different ideas chucked together. First, a high-concept romcom with lots of vibrant colours and some bollocks about fate and Jameela Jamil as the narrator who pops up in turn as a flight attendant, immigration officer, bartender, helpful passerby…** Secondly, your contemporary British comedy where the characters are all wearyingly eccentric (so many British films, whether comedies or thrillers, just try far too hard.) Thirdly, a melancholy film about two people in pain who make a connection on a transAtlantic flight. Unsurprisingly, these three ideas constantly undermine each other. (Oh, and the London geography is just distractingly nonsense.)

*The title of the book this is adapted from is The Statistical Probability Of Love At First Sight, which is a much better match for the theme and tone of the story.

**An idea seemingly nicked, as I’m happy to admit I didn’t know when I watched it, from Max Ophuls’ 1950 classic La Ronde, emphatically not a romcom.

(Netflix)

Documentaries

Squaring The Circle: The Story Of Hipgnosis

What was Hipgnosis, you ask? Hipgnosis was a little company that designed the covers of long-playing records, most famously for Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin. Its founders Storm Thorgerson and Po Powell were dope-smoking chums of the future members of (The) Pink Floyd in Cambridge (the city, not the university) who had enough photographic and graphic design nous to turn a favour for mates into a lucrative career.

Everyone in this documentary talks about how grumpy Thorgerson (who died in 2013) was: ‘He was rude to everyone,’ someone says. Now, as it happens, a long, long time ago I used to interview designers and photographers about famous album covers for a rock magazine. Almost all these chats happened over the phone… except for the one with Thorgerson about the Floyd’s Wish You Were Here. Thorgerson invited me over to his large, comfortable north-west London home and we sat drinking tea as he told me about how the LP sleeve had come about. As I remember it, he was an excellent host and I sat there feeling guilty about how bloody hideous I thought almost all of his work was and how unbearable his old mates’ music was. Maybe he’d mellowed by then.

Anyway, this documentary was made by Anton Corbijn, legendary rock photographer/terrible feature film director, which accounts for the interviewees being shot in elegant, flattering b&w. Corbijn’s movies are utterly humourless so it’s a pleasant surprise to find plenty of chuckles here. The heart of the film, indeed, is a series of tales from the mid-1970s in which the album shoots involve vast expense, effort, travel time and even danger… and afterwards everyone decides for all the record buyers will notice, it could have been done round the corner or just in the studio…

If you like a rock dinosaur, there’s a bunch here: Planty! Pagey! Macca! Gabriel! And the surviving Floyds, of course. Speaking of which, my big concern watching this was the presence of Roger Waters and Noel Gallagher, both extremely low-quality human beings. Fortunately, restricted to talking about album covers (both) and the early days (Waters) they are non-toxic. Just why Gallagher is here is a different question. He has no connection to Hipgnosis – not as a client nor even (as far as made the cut) as a fan. He just talks about album artwork in general, including his daughter not knowing it was a thing that exists. So he’s effectively the cut-price Bono, here to provide uninformed vibes and enthusiasm – but as the man who shot U2’s most famous images, surely Corbijn could have got the real thing?

There’s a tradition of documentaries – which I think this fits into – that work two ways depending on how you feel about the subjects. If you think the cover of (say) Led Zep’s Houses Of The Holy is a great piece of image-making, here’s the inside story of how it came about. On the other hand, if you find the aesthetics of 1970s rock grotesque or funny, then this is an entertaining account of how completely everyone lost the plot as the cash (and coke) rolled in. (Netflix)

Little Richard: I Am Everything

You can see why people want to make documentaries these days about Little Richard – he was black, he was gay, he did some drag early in his career and certainly had no truck with the 20th-century western version of masculinity. In 2023, if you want to celebrate a rock ’n’ roll pioneer, he’s more appealing than one of those white guys with their child brides. (Before we overtip the balance, it's almost certain that Richard also had sex with teenage girls when he was an adult, even if they weren’t his main area of interest.)

The big problem I had with this film – which got some rapturous reviews – is not its fault at all. What happened was that earlier in the year I had seen the BBC’s Little Richard: The King And Queen Of Rock’n’Roll, which has some of the same interviewees (plus Keef rather than Mick as their Rolling Stone), much of the same archive and – as the title suggests – the same contemporary take. I Am Everything’s director Lisa Cortes does try to do some things to make this movie-like, including having clouds of glitter and bursts of high-speed nature montages. She also has some current musicians in to a play a few songs, almost always a bad move in a music documentary. There are some good academics etc here, but alas, if you’ve recently heard all this stuff, I Am Everything doesn’t add that much. But if you’re not familiar with this story, this is a great place to start.

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rainydayathogwarts · 3 years

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𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐋𝐊𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐎𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔 >> 𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒

Second person p.o.v Warnings: well the title says some stuff Characters: Tony, Steve, Bucky, Thor, Clint, Peter(s), Pietro, Stephen, Sam A/N: This had to go under some editing before I have the courage to post it on here because honestly, it's either that I've read my works so much and feel nothing anymore or that it's genuinely trash. Also can someone please explain why people don't like peter quill/chris pratt please

-Tony Stark: "341... 342... 343..." You counted your pushups under your breath. You and Tony had made a bet: he thought Steve could do more pushups than you could, but in the heat of the moment, you bet otherwise. Now, you were obviously regretting your choice.

There you were with Steve in the living room, the rest of the Avengers watching you guys in amazement. The only thing that stopped you from winning against the super soldier was that you didn't have superhuman strength. At least you trained with one everyday. Right?

You felt your body stiffening and tiring as you continued with your pushups. You lowered your body one last time, chest hovering above the ground, but you couldn't find the energy to lift yourself up again. Steve glanced at you with a small smile on his face, watching as you struggled.

You groaned, falling to the cold floor, listening to Tony cheer, helping Steve up in joy. "You good there (Y/N)?" Asked Steve, walking over to you, giving you a hand. You glared at him, getting up on your own, making him laugh.

"You know you did better than any of us could have. That's 352 pushups in a row." Natasha praised, making you roll your eyes. "Yes, but it doesn't mean I couldn't have done better. Anyway, let's be real. Bucky is also a supersoldier, so me beating me is out of the question. He's just as strong as Steve-if not stronger."

You sauntered over to you and Tony's shared room with him right on your tail. You didn't bother closing the door behind you before taking off your shirt.

You gasped when you were pushed against the wall roughly, your sweaty body making contact with another one. " Good gods, what could you possibly want Tony?" You questioned, looking up. "You." He breathed out, leaning down to kiss your neck, sucking softly on the skin. Shivers ran down your spine at the sultry tone, and just as you were about to speak up again, he kissed your lips with hunger and need.

As if on instinct, your hands travelled to the nape of his neck, playing with the short hairs. He deepened the kiss, but it was abruptly cut short when the door burst open. "I-uh, sorry-I-um, water?" "You can put that right over there. Yeah, thanks Steve."

-Steve Rogers: You and Steve were huddled up on a couch in his apartment, watching Jurassic Park. He took a quick look at you, so focused on the movie, your lip tightly tucked between your teeth. You cuddled closer to your loving boyfriend who held you tighter, the cold getting to your bones.

"Honey, do you want me to close the window?" He asked you, already getting up. You got hold of his hand, tugging him down, your eyes never leaving the bright screen. "No, stay." He smiled and kissed your soft lips, getting your shiny lip gloss on himself.

"Um, you got something right there. Let me get it for you." You muttered, getting on your knees to kiss him once more. He chuckled against your lips, flipping you over so you were laying down on the couch. You threw your shirt off, Steve doing the same.

Just as Steve reached down to slide his shorts off, yours already long gone, the door burst open, two loud voices interrupting your moment. Two wolf-whistles caught your attention, your heads snapping in their direction. At the sight of Sam and Bucky, you pushed Steve off of you with such force he fell to the ground.

You rushed to put your shorts and shirt back on but they were at Sam's feet, so you stayed hidden behind the couch. "Nice gloss Steve. Where'd you get it from?" Started Bucky. "Oh right, never mind, where'd you get it from (Y/N)?" Sam slammed his hand on Bucky's back as they both broke down laughing. "Remind me why we gave them a key?"

-Bucky Barnes: Bucky wasn't exactly having the best day. The both of you had gone to one of your favourite coffee shops when your ex just happened to bump into you. "(Y/N)? Oh wow." And with that he started rambling off about his life, flirting with you, even with Bucky standing beside you.

You politely told him you had to go, feeling awfully sorry that Bucky had to deal with that. When you got back to the Avengers Compound, Natasha had immediately called you in for some work, leaving your boyfriend to sit in your shared bedroom all alone on his day off.

He wanted to kill your ex. Quite literally. So much that he even found his address. So when you entered your room, you didn't have the time to kick your shoes off before you were pressed up against the wall, with Bucky's lips hungrily attacking yours. You obviously kissed him back, hands pulling him closer to you by the shoulders.

When the door opened, Natasha dropped the file she was holding and her jaw slacked. Bucky closed the door shut with a growl, holding it there with his metal arm, his lips never leaving yours.

-Thor Odinson: It was a nice, calm morning for you and Thor. You were laying in bed, sunlight coming from the windows giving a nice gold tint to the room. Thor looked down, playing with your silky hair, and you smiled when your eyes connected.

He leaned down to give your lips a short peck, but you pulled him back in, finding his arms suddenly wrapped around your torso tightly. Your hands cupped his jaw and you felt Thor smile as he slid his tongue into your mouth, exploring it like it was the first time.

"Hey-oh!" Thor grunted and pulled away, looking at Tony who had barged into your room "Didn't know the Odinsons had it in them to go for a round so early." Thor held his hand out for Mjölnir which flew from the other side of the room right into his hand, making Tony run out of the room faster than thunder.

-Clint Barton: It was one of those days in the facility where no one had anything to do. No paperwork to fill out, no missions to go on and nothing fun to do. So logically, you and Clint decided it'd be a great idea to go training.

As you were sparring, he swung his leg under yours and in the blink of an eye, you had him straddling your hips on the ground.

He smirked and leaned down, his face close enough to yours for you to be kissing. He pinned your arms above your head and you whispered "Not here Clint." However you didn't protest when he started kissing your neck.

He only stopped when you both heard a loud voice booming. "Brother Clint and Lady (Y/N) seem to be busy, turn around." Clint rolled off you, the only thing heard in the room was your now heavy breathing. You saw Thor pushing Steve out of the training room making you chuckle slightly before getting up.

-Pietro Maximoff: It was a lazy day for you and Pietro. You both had some fun last night, though you were quiet and slow, not wanting to wake the others up from their light slumber.

You walked into the kitchen in one of Pietro's oversized training shirts to make yourself a coffee and a peanut butter and jam sandwich. You shut your eyes for a moment, opening them to take your first bite.

You felt arms wrap around your waist and you leaned into the familiarity of Pietro's chest. You both sighed in content; everything was perfect. Nothing could possibly ruin the weekend you were having. Pietro went ahead to place a kiss on your cheek and you turned around to get a proper one on the lips. He chuckled, his laugh throaty and raspy.

He reconnected your lips only to hear a yell "Oh get a room you two!" You bit the inside of your cheek, grabbing your sandwich in one hand and Pietro's shirt in the other, dodging a disgusted Clint as you escaped to your bedroom, coffee mug forgotten on the counter.

-Peter Parker: You and Peter went over to his house immediately after class, eager to cool off with your weekly movie night. It was easy to say that the both of you had a fairly tough week. You changed into some comfortable clothes, settling down on Peter's bed with a bunch of snacks.

"You know," you started, taking a sip of your soda. "More people should watch Star Wars. Like they immediately judge, but they haven't even watched it. At least know what you're talking about if you're going to say it's bad." Peter smiled, pulling your body closer to his and kissing your forehead. You hummed in delight, snuggling into his chest. "If this is what I get for being smart, I should really start studying more."

You trailed butterfly kisses on his soft skin, from his jaw down to his collar bone until his sweater was restricting any further access. You tugged at it and Peter untangled himself from you to take it off.

Just as you straddled him, connecting your lips to his skin once more, the door squeaked, signaling it had been open. "Hey Peter-oh! Use protection!" Aunt May stepped out of the doorway, shutting the door behind her, leaving you and Peter mouth agape as you stared at the same spot she stood at mere seconds ago.

-Peter Quill: It was a crucially boring day for the lot of you. You all just sat in the Milano trying to find something to do. "Babe. Baby." Peter poked you in the shoulder repetitively, head leaning on your arm, puppy eyes ready. "What is it Peter, Baby?" "I miss you." He whined.

You looked down at his pouty face, leaning down to give his soft plump lips a nice short kiss. "I want you," he whispered in such a low voice, you almost didn't hear him. You looked around the room.

Gamora was reading a magazine, Rocket was fixing some sort of machine, probably another bomb, Drax was sitting on a one seater couch eating from a bag of chips and Mantis was doing whatever Mantis does, looking outside the ship from the big glass window.

"Come on." You told him quietly. As soon as you entered your room, Peter was planting kisses all over your jaw and down your neck. He picked you up, walking you over to your bed. He immediately crawled above you and you moaned, throwing your head on your pillows and arching your back when he found your sweet spot.

"What a show, you're disgusting." Peter didn't stop, and neither did you, only encouraging his actions when you wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer. You only pulled away when Gamora took her shoe off, throwing it at the both of you and hitting Peter, making him jump and yelp.

-Stephen Strange: "Hello Love." You jumped slightly at your boyfriend's sudden presence behind you and heard him chuckle deeply. He had just returned from the hospital after a long day of work, leaving to your bedroom for some rest.

You sat in the living room, eyes on your book but your mind kept on drifting off to Stephen. He was a great man. He always greeted you with small kisses after long days of work, cooked dinner when he could, and went out of his way to buy you flowers and small gifts.

You don't know how long you sat there but you eventually got up to strut over to you and Stephen's bedroom. "Hey Ste-oh." There he stood, towel wrapped around his waist, hand running through his wet, greying hair.

His smirk grew wide as he approached you, hands gripping your hips. He leaned down and your arms went to his chest as your lips connected. His tongue easily slipped past your lips and into your mouth. Your fingers played with the loose towel hanging around Stephen's torso and soon enough, it hit the ground, exposing your fiancé's body to you.

Stephen groaned and your arms wrapped themselves around his neck. He lifted you up and your legs found their spot around his waist, hooking your ankles together, never breaking the kiss. "Oh my god!" Stephen suddenly dropped you on the floor only to pull you back into him to cover himself. "Oh my god! Why you guys!? At least shut the fucking door!" "Get out Christine!" Yelled Stephen, his face flushed, embarrassment written all over his features.

-Loki Laufeyson: You sat in the library, nose in a book. That's how it was, and that's how you planned it would be for the rest of the day. That was, until someone snatched your precious book from your hands and started running into the depths of the library, the only sign of who it is being the jet black hair disappearing behind a bookshelf.

"Loki! Come back!" You yelled, already on the chase. "Loki!" You dragged out the last syllable you looked through the aisles. All of a sudden, you were pulled into someone's arms and then pushed back into a bookcase, a pair of lips smashing onto yours.

You couldn't help but moan out Loki's name as he pressed himself closer to you, starting to grind his crotch into yours. He smiled softly, murmuring an "I've missed you incredibly, my love." You moaned again, managing to utter "I've missed you too."

"Would you look at that! What have you done to (Y/N)'s innocence, my dear brother?" Loki pulled away with a sigh, giving Thor an 'Are you serious?" look.

-Sam Wilson: "Never again." You groaned, slumping down onto the couch, clutching your now broken wrist. "You okay baby?" Asked Sam, pulling you into a hug. You dug your head into his chest, shaking it slightly. "I think Steve likes seeing me suffer. He always sends me after the tougher guys." You whined.

He chuckled as you spoke up again, muttering about the pain. "At least you got your cast to be your favourite colour, no?" You laughed at his poor attempt to cheer you up but nodded nonetheless.

He got up, leaving the room before joining you again, a sweatshirt in hand. Your eyes lit up as he handed it to you and you pulled it on, nearly ripping it with your speed. "Careful there." He muttered as you launched yourself on him to hug him.

"Mhmm." "Don't fall asleep on me again, please." He told you, kissing your soft, pink lips. You hummed, your uninjured arm fisting his shirt to pull him on top of you. He chuckled at your eagerness before pulling you in again.

You both had been so busy these past few weeks that you barely got a morning kiss, but now that you were alone, you intended to make the most of it, showing your boyfriend of two years how much you really loved him.

Your unharmed hand held him closer to you by the neck, your broken one on the couch beside your head. You moaned when Sam bit your lip but immediately stopped, eyes widening when Natasha walked in with Tony, her eyes on her phone, muttering "Somewhere else please."

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morizoras-cave · 4 years

Text

Sleepyhead (Request)

MCU cast x gn!teen!co-star!reader, Benedict Cumberbatch x gn!reader

Genre: Angst, fluff

Request Description: Hiya♥️could i please request a teen x marvel cast were they always find her sleeping and taking naps everywhere around set and they confront her about it and she says something about having to take care of her little siblings because her parents are never arohnd do she gets no sleep. Sorry if its to long.❤❤❤❤❤😍🥰

Warnings: irresponsible parents, negligence, slight insecurity, stress

(A/N): sorry this is kind of centered around benedict, i find these mcu cast x reader ones difficult. also im watching a belarusian war-movie from 1985 about the holocaust. its absolutely terrifying (im very serious, i’d be cautious for trigger warnings). if you’re looking for a horror movie or something, search “come and see movie” on youtube and you’ll find the entire thing there (:

At first, it had been sweet. A testament to the insomniatic youth, if you will. In every closet, behind every door, and on every soft surface, you could be found in between takes, snoring away.

They all agreed you were probably watching movies or playing games up late at night, computer screen illuminating your face. Or maybe you were chatting with your faraway friends. Either way, it was almost endearing to find you drooling on the couches scattered around the set.

Sweet and endearing at first, yes. But then the feelings about it, the longer it went on, the more your mature and well behaved personality clashed with the idea of you staying up all night, the more the feelings about your frequent naps changed.

To the set workers, the coordinators and overseers of the countless tasks on set, it became an issue.

“Where’s Y/n? We need them for the next scene!”

More often than not, several people would be running around set in search of you. And of course you apologized profusely when they found and woke you, but it didn’t matter when you never changed.

But to your coworkers, the talented actors and actresses on set of this huge movie production, it was concerning. Because you were their friend, undoubtedly.

When you would be pulled out a distant break room, rubbing your dark and drowsy eyes, mumblings would start among them.

“Are they okay?”

“They just seem so sensible, I don’t understand why they would stay up like that.”

And then there was you. Young and unfortunate you. Just trying to do your best, trying to please everyone. It was impossible for anyone to know how much you were juggling with.

You felt like a bird with a broken wing, still flying but bound to fall to its death. You knew it was too much. You knew it was only a matter of time before you broke.

Most teens felt stressed with just schoolwork, and then there was you. Battling long set days and huge mounts of schoolwork. And then the family.

Your parents that never seemed to be around. They were both working all the time and often left you and your siblings to yourselves. The problems with that was that you were the eldest, and your siblings were too young to take care of themselves. You were the one left to bring home groceries, to make dinner, to bring them to bed, and to help them with any of their schoolwork or difficulties.

And it was too much. Simply put it was too much for you. You had managed back when you were just another teen at school, but now you were in a movie, you had a JOB.

Usually you’d go to set and work your ass off, get home and help the kids all day, and then do your schoolwork in the night. You almost never got more than an hour or two of sleep, which was why you settled for small naps during your filming sessions.

You were so stressed, and you wanted to be angry, because in truth you had every right to. But you were too tired and too busy to be angry. Too focused on your siblings and doing good as an actor. But you would never want to involve your coworkers. You thought it would be embarrassing and unprofessional to involve them. So you carried the weight all alone.

“Wake up! Wake up!”

Someone was shaking you awake. You blinked your eyes open. A redhead set assistant was yelling in your face, grasping your shoulders.

She stopped when she saw your eyes turning to slits, before widening to look at her.

“Am I on?” you mumbled, rubbing your eyes. The lady scoffed.

“Are you on? Yeah, you’re on,” she spat and swung around, heels clicking on the floor, as she exited the break room briskly.

You were ashamed. Of course you were. You were so unprofessional and problematic. But you knew you had no other time to sleep, so this was your only option. The thought made you want to cry.

Instead, you stood up and walked to where the scene would be filmed, through several hallways and technical rooms, before you arrived to the large set.

Benedict, Robert, Tom (Holland), Chris (Pratt), Pom, and Dave were all gathered and ready to film. Your face was on fire, so you avoided their gazes, and just got into position to film the next scene.

Benedict and Robert exchanged glances as you yawned, but before they could talk to you (as it seemed everyone was getting fed up with your constant sleepiness) the director yelled “action”, and the acting resumed.

You all did the scene and you, surprisingly, did okay for having woken up about five minutes earlier. You continued doing several scenes for the movie all together, going through about three full scenes.

When the director was satisfied, everyone started scattering. You, rubbing your tired eyes, was already beelining for the break room, hoping to see an empty couch for you to crash.

However, before you could sneak off to catch some z’s, you felt a firm hand on your shoulder. You blinked, turning around and gazing at the person who had grabbed your shoulder. It was Benedict, Robert, Tom and Chris not fat behind him. He had a stern look on his face.

“Y/n, we need to talk.”

“Yeah, sure, what’s up?” your tone was casual, or perhaps too exhausted to express any real emotion, but inside you felt your stomach churn with anxiety.

“Why are you always sleeping?” Robert chimed in.

“Yeah, because if you’re up watching Youtube or whatever, you probably shouldn’t!” Tom said.

“Not that we’re assuming that that’s what you’re doing! It’s just- You know..,” Chris explained, voice full of panic.

You smiled softly. You recognized that they were coming from a place of worry. Then, your heart sunk slightly. You could cry. Again. Over the thought of your lack of time and your endless responsibilities.

“It’s nothing serious, it’s just..” you trailed off, trying to figure out how you could make it sound less sad. Things always sounded worse when spoken out loud, you found. “I have two siblings, and my parents are never around, so I’m kind of the person taking care of them.”

Your coworkers in front of you fell silent. You could see it on their faces. They didn’t like it.

“You?” Robert said finally, and you just nodded.

“So, you’re doing a movie, doing school, and taking care of your siblings at the same time?” Benedict repeated slowly, and once again you just nodded. There was nothing more to say.

“Why aren’t your parents there?” Chris asked in his serious-unserious voice.

“They’re working a lot,” you mumbled, disliking the collective attention on you. The thought of the couch made you yearn for some rest. You could tell that there were many things they wanted to do in that moment. They wanted to fix it all.

“Can’t you tell them you don’t have time?”

“I’ve tried that already. They say they don’t have a choice,” to this, both Robert and Benedict scoffed and shook their heads. You just watched with heavy eyes.

“Alright. Here’s what’s going to happen,” Benedict said quietly, eyes boring into yours, “I’m going to call a nanny to look after your siblings for a couple of days, don’t worry I’ll pay. You’re going to back to the hotel and sleep for at least 10 hours. When you’ve done that, and only when you’ve done that, will we talk about how we’ll move forward with your parents.”

You were quiet. You couldn’t stand up to your parents like Benedict wanted you to. You just couldn’t. They were busy and that was understandable.

Although, you had to admit, the thought of sleeping for 10 hours was enticing. Heck, worst case scenario, you could settle for 5! Your tiredness was like heavy cuffs and chains on your body, and Benedict stood with the shining, golden key right in front of you.

“Benedict, I- I can’t do that to my parents-”

“No, your parents can’t do this to you! This is absolutely outrageous!” He was frustrated you could tell. Robert seemed upset too, while Tom and Chris stepped back and let the adults handle it. Though, they seemed sad for you.

You went quiet.

“I just-”

“I don’t want to hear another word about how they’re somehow excused for their behavior. This is negligence, Y/n! This is too much for you and you know it! You’re exhausted and it’s so painful to see, so please. Just take me up on this.”

You sighed.

“Alright, then.” you said, body finally giving in to the attractive offer. Benedict’s face carried the ghost of a satisfied smile, before going back to the stone cold determination.

You drove to the hotel in Robert’s car and they booked you an extra room, knowing that your siblings occupied the other one. As soon as you could fall back on the bed, you were gone, body screaming for rest.

You woke up 14 hours later, feeling happier, brighter and well-rested. That feeling had been forgotten by you, but it was alright, you decided. Every inch of you blossomed with energy now.

As promised, Benedict had ordered a nanny for your siblings (the nanny was a lovely human being, and simply amazing with kids). Benedict, Robert, Chris and Tom has split the bill.

You called him when you woke up, and he dragged you to a restaurant, where the two of you had a long, long talk about why what your parents were doing was serious and unacceptable. He could tell he needed to explain it to you, because you, like many children, were ready to defend your parents’ at all costs.

Needless to say, after Benedict’s advice you didn’t have to go through that kind of thing again. You settled it with your parents (as well as your siblings), and after that you were so grateful that Benedict helped you out of that responsibility, because it wasn’t yours to have.

Benedict was just happy to help, the memory of seeing you sleep everywhere, now less endearing and simply painful. He didn’t like thinking about it, and so he tried not to, but rather focused on your laughter and bright smile. In truth, that’s the only thing that really mattered.

___________________________

Tag List:

@hera-the-writer @marvel-madness @40srogcrs @whatthefuckimbisexual @snarky–starky @garbage-potato @eviemarvel @lozzypoz321 @allthecreativeonesaretaken @missamericana713 @rororo06 @shady80smusicsingercolor @ireadfanficforfun

#benedict cumberbatch x reader #benedict cumberbatch #robert downey jr.#robert downey jr. x reader #mcu #mcu x reader #mcu cast x reader #marvel x reader #marvel cast x reader #avengers #avengers x reader #avengers cast x reader #avengers x teen!reader #avengers cast x teen!reader #dr strange #dr strange x reader #stephen strange x reader

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swan2swan · 3 years

Note

It’s tough because… yeah, career voice actors have gotten passed over for screen actors and celebrities. That said, it’s only become a talking point when it’s a movie featuring well known characters played by too well known actors. For the likes of Shrek or Kung Fu Panda, celebrities were part of the cast from the ground up. Hell, I can’t imagine Mike Myers not as Shrek or Jack Black not playing Po. The promise for me is just the “star power over skill” mentality.

Yes, but the key with those movies is that those were fresh, unestablished franchises--and they were actually good.

The Emoji Movie, Antz, Arctic Dogs, Angry Birds, Boss Baby, you've got a lot of other bad-to-mediocre films that led with star-studded casts. Yes, you've still got Ice Age with Ray Romano and Dennis Leary, but there's a difference between "older, established comedy veterans" and "the current hip talent". Heck, even Toy Story used Tom Hanks and Tim Allen...but for all of those, you have a ton of forgettable ones...as far as fresh franchises go.

Mario is an established franchise. You could cast ANYONE as Mario and that would be Who They Are now. You're pulling in tons of money already simply from the brand name. You don't need star power, it's Mario.

Also, yeah, maybe Chris Pratt will do a great job, I'll be honest, I can kinda hear it....but nobody wants that....but also, if you really want to know the difference that voice acting makes, watch any of the Justice League movies. You'll notice how much better Superman is when he's voiced by Tim Daly than most others. Adam Baldwin is fine in Apocalypse, but he ain't Daly.

If you really want to hear the difference, go watch the episodes of What If? with Black Widow. Lake Bell's Widow >>>>>> ScarJo's. Whjy? Because Lake Bell is a voice actor. She knows how to elevate it. Everyone's performances in What If are pretty good, but VA's know how to take it from a 6 to a 9. At the least.

#and there are always exceptions #because voice acting is ACTING #but a lot of actors also...aren't great at acting #and chris pratt is kinda one of them #he's always the same guy #but then you have Andre Braugher as Darkseid #and Alan Tudyk as anyone #because they are STAGE ACTORS #and those tend to THRIVE

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anobscurename · 4 years

Text

ocean eyes – chris evans

previous part: PART XX — masterlist

concept: you run into chris again when you return to collect the rest of your things. part twenty-one of many.

pairing: chris evans x reader

word count: 1.4k

warnings: angst, kissing, profanity

author's note: i'm a hoe. also, this one is for @efferuse cause i miss her

"Are you sure you'll be alright?"

"Yes," you brushed her concern away with what you hoped was an easy smile. Judging by the furrow of her brow, it was decidedly not. "I'll be fine. I'm just picking up the rest of my stuff and giving him back the keys."

"And what if he's there?"

"I'll ignore him."

"I don't like it. It's been two weeks, you're doing much better now. Just let me go in and..." she gestured her hands in the motion of packing.

You laughed off the exaggerated movements. "I don't think Dodger or Chris will like a stranger in their house."

"He doesn't seem to have a problem if that stranger is playing tonsil hockey with him..." She grumbled. The look you shot her was lethal. "Too soon, sorry."

You'd been living on her couch for too long now, and it was taking a toll on you. There was only so much of her you could really take. Don't get you wrong, you adored your friend. But you two were simply too... different. But you had nowhere else to go, and she'd been a major help. With everything. Getting over Chris especially.

"I'm a grown woman," you sighed, already growing tired of the interaction. "I'm sure I can handle it."

———————

For the most part, you handled it quite well.

Without Chris and Dodger being there, it was almost easy. You could slip in and out, like a motherfucking ghost, and they'd never even know, aside from a cleared room and the set of keys on the table. The house felt haunted enough. Luck was on your side.

And then it wasn't.

You'd been looking for your journal when they had gotten back. Just the sound of the door had your heart in your throat, the scamper of Dodger's paws on the tile and wood, and sheer panic overcame you.

You had avoided seeing his face again easily enough. Chris was not a problematic or publicly wild person, so likelihood of him turning up in the tabloids were slim to none in just those two weeks. And your friend had made a big show of dumping all of the old DVDs she had that even hinted to Chris – surname was irrelevant, and she pulled Hemsworth, Pratt, and Pine from the shelf too – in a box and kicked it under her bed the moment you got there.

You didn't know how you would react. You hadn't laid eyes on even a picture of him, and you'd never felt like this before. About anyone. Your mood was unpredictable, and that scared you – you couldn't give yourself away now.

Your search for that stupid book with all your stupid fucking feelings was newly energized, and you were practically ripping open your drawers, flinging cabinet doors to the point their hinges whined.

You didn't care about the noise you were making. The Evans' would find you anyways, especially while you were on your way out. And if that happy bark at the door was any indication, Dodger had caught your scent long before your search began.

You wracked your brain as you heard Dodger paw at the door. Where was it? Where could it have been? It never left your room. Hardly ever, of that you were certain. Too much room for error.

But that night... The last night you'd been there. You had been writing in the lounge – passing time – waiting for Chris to get home so you could leave. Dodger – although able to handle himself on his own – more often than not preferred company.

A wave of nausea hit you. The world spun, white spots dancing in your vision. No. Nonononono.

Not willing to let yourself believe that inevitable catastrophe, you reinvigorated the search in your room. It had to be there, it couldn't–

"Looking for this?"

You had accidentally left it out in a very public area and fuck you were kicking yourself for it now.

He was leaning against your doorframe, non-chalant, legs crossed at the ankles, arms folded... And in one hand, a very distinct leather bound book that you had currently been searching for.

The ice in your veins turned to molten lava – anger – but you refused to look him in the face. You couldn't bring yourself to do it.

You didn't respond, your hands curling into fists, nails cutting crescent moons into your palms.

"You know, you maybe shouldn't leave it out like that," he said softly. "Open. Someone might stumble upon it, catch a few words before they realise what it is."

Your voice was strained, whispery. "Give it back."

"Look at me," he responded gently. He sounded so earnest. And you knew it was because he wanted that confirmation, the one your eyes would give him. The confirmation for what he had read, what you had actively tried to dissuade him of.

You reached for it, eyes still looking at his shoes, solely focused and not willing to cave.

He grinned in your peripheral vision and held it out of your reach. "You lied to me."

"Chris," you ground out. It was the first time you'd even let yourself say his name, and it felt strange on your tongue – like you were made to say it, but you had only just discovered that. It tasted foreign and familiar all at once. "I'm not fucking around. Give it back. Right fucking now."

"Come and get it."

He purposefully moved away from you to elude your snatching hands. You followed him, obviously.

But Chris was quick, continuing to evade you.

Always just a little out of reach, Chris easily slid between boxes, vaulting over the bed to keep the distance. You clambered after him, clumsy, sheets twisting around your legs.

He was laughing with the exhilaration, and still, he kept the book out of your desperate hands.

"Give it to me," you hissed, trying to grab at his shirt to keep him still.

He easily manoeuvred away, and you were grasping at air.

You ended up chasing him down – embarrassingly late – and damn near tackled him for ownership of the book. You landed on him, ripping the book out of his hand, triumphant.

And then you realised the position you were in.

The moment was charged with something electric, something intangible yet palpable. Your faces were close – too close for comfort, yet you didn't find yourself withdrawing – and your breaths mingled, and your chests are pressed together, able to feel every beat of his heart synchronising with your own. You were caught in a half straddle, low on his hips, your one leg slotted between his in a way that definitely didn't suggest innocence.

And he was laughing breathlessly and you somehow ended up laughing too. A genuine laugh, the first in weeks.

And you were both just laughing and breathless and then quietly – when both your laughter had subsided, but you're both wearing warm smiles – he asked you so softly: "Did you really mean that? What you wrote?"

You sat up, attempting to extricate your limbs from his, debating lying or coming clean. It was too late for either.

But he must've seen, in your eyes, the truth – because suddenly, he bolted upright to press his warm body against yours, trapping you in his arms and pulling you to him to meet his lips in a gentle and chaste kiss: the choice being yours on whether or not to deepen it.

A choice you made as you responded in kind, mouth moving urgently and feverishly against his.

He moaned, a choked noise in his throat, pleasantly surprised at your response, and his tongue swiped a quick, hot stripe against the seam of your lips, begging for entrance.

You hand slipped between the two of you, under the hem of his shirt. They raked down his musclebound torso, and your hand idly traced over the growing bulge in his jeans.

"Stop," he strangled out. He pulled himself away, keeping you at arms length, catching his breath.

"I-I'm sorry," you managed to stutter out. Embarrassment flushed your cheeks.

It wasn't your fault. And Chris let you know as much, with a lingering kiss to your forehead.

Chris knew that he had broken your trust, and he wanted to earn it back before anything happened. No matter how bad he wanted you.

The romantic in him wouldn't have it any other way. And there was something supremely unromantic about taking you on the floor of your bedroom, surrounded by the boxes you'd packed in the full intent of leaving him.

"I've been thinking of this for too long, if I'm going to do this, I'm going to do it right."

———————

tags:

all: @fangirlovestuff @rebthom89

ocean eyes: @agnesk @myakai13 @ilovetheeagles

chris evans: @thatoneperson5000

#chris evans #chris evans fanfic #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #chris evans/you #dina writes #chris evans fluff #ocean eyes

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bellamer · 3 years

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I can only hear Charlie Day as Luigi because I always imagined Luigi having a neurotic voice like his.

I can't imagine Jack Black as Bowser. At all. He and Kevin Michael Richardson need to switch roles because Bowser needs to have KMR's booming ass deep ass voice not Jack Black's "bro" voice, it's completely backwards BECAUSE KEVIN MICHAEL RICHARDSON IS EQUIPPED TO DO VOICES LIKE THAT ! Look at his roles as

- Captain Gantu

- General Aguila

- The Joker

- Emperor Zarkon

- Mammoth

- Pandabubba

- Black Manta

- Despero

- Steppenwolf

- Bishop

- Shadow King

- Shredder

I'm sorry but he's way more equipped to be Bowser than fucking Jack Black and I mean this with all respect, I don't think Jack Black is going to be good for the role. At all. Everyone's only praising him so much because he's a good guy and I get that but no. Just no. They should've gave Bowser to the professional.

And yes I know Jack Black was Po from Kung Fu Panda and Lenny from Shark Tale or whatever but I'd rather they pick the man with more professional experience because let's be honest, Illumination is just using Jack Black's name the same way they're using Chris Pratt's and every other big name celebrity's name, to put butts in seats and get money in their pockets.

#illumination #super mario movie #super mario #bowser #luigi mario #mario

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yourwannabekpopidol · 3 years

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Project 15

Apprenticeship Program Name: Radio Campbuzz Project Name: RJ for Rangdhonu and script writer for shows Program Date: Fall 2017 – Fall 2018 Program Description: I joined this program when Kashfia Ma’am was the advisor for the program. She assigned me to a RJ position for a weekly show called, “Rangdhonu”. And I had to write the script for the show as well. What I had to do was be a host for the show and the show is about pop culture and entertainment. So we had to talk about any new update on Hollywood and Bollywood. Program Justification: What the show provided was to let the students know about any pop culture and to let them enjoy some entertainment before going back to class. There were other shows but this show made me realize how fun it is to be a RJ. Due to this show, I was even awarded the best RJ in Radio Campbuzz of Spring 2018. Program Name: Rangdhonu. Program Time: Every Wednesday from 12 pm to 1 pm.

Picture 1: This is me before the show of Rangdhonu at the station.

Picture 2: This is the poster that declared that Nabeela apu and I were the host of the show, Rangdhonu, on social media.

Picture 3: This was the award and the certificate of me winning the best RJ.

Script for the 5th Rangdhonu show: Written by: Wangkhem Thonglen

Link 1

Sonam Kapoor ties the knot! Celebrity marriages are always the talk of the town, especially when it is the much-awaited wedding of one of Bollywood's most beloved stars, Sonam Kapoor. In an event of grand celebrations, Sonam Kapoor has finally tied the knot last Tuesday, May 8, with her long-time boyfriend Anand Ahuja. For those who don't know, Anand Ahuja is a businessman who has founded his own fashion brand named Bhane. His Delhi-based business has made him quite successful despite his young age, and fans know him well for always being addressed fondly in Sonam's online posts. The couple is active on social media, and has never failed to win hearts through their messages of adoration and love. Radio Cambuzz wishes the couple a happy conjugal life!

SaRa May 12 marked the grand opening of SaRa's first showroom in Mirpur. The fashion house made a huge statement with endorsements from stars like Sara Zaker, Oyshee, Shahtaj, Pritom, Xefer, Azim, Doyel and many others. They were present during the opening, along with the owner S.M Khaled.

RABINDRA FESTIVALS AROUND THE COUNTRY The celebration of 157th birth anniversary of Tagore in Shilpakala Academy, Dhaka. Artistes performed in a programme by Jayita Rabindra Sangeet Shomillon Porishod in Mymensingh. Artistes did a cultural show in Rabindra Mela, Channel i premises, Dhaka. Artistes from Bangladesh and India performed in Rabindra Festival in Shelaidah Kuthibari, Kushtia. Also Sirajganj.

30 years of BAMBA - More than just bands After a break of almost four years, Bangladesh Musical Bands Association, better known as BAMBA, recently arranged a mega concert, 'BAMBA Live Chapter 1', in Dhaka. The turnout was huge, with the spacious hall room of the International Convention Centre, Bashundhara, filled to the brim with fans eager to get a glimpse of their favorite bands and listen to their all-time hits. 11 of the 27 bands under the umbrella of BAMBA, including Warfaze, Miles, Shunno, Aurthohin, Nemesis, Vikings, Feedback, Dalchhut, Maq O' Dhaka, Pentagon and Arbovirus performed at the concert. Star Showbiz recently invited BAMBA to participate at a roundtable discussion at The Daily Star Centre. Hamin Ahmed, President of BAMBA; Sheikh Monirul Alam Tipu, General Secretary; Fuad Naser Babu, Vice President; Maqsoodul Haque (Mac), Executive Committee Member; Mohammad Ali Shumon, Treasurer; and Doza Alan, CEO, SkyTracker Limited, took part in the roundtable discussion. It was facilitated by Star Showbiz Editor Rafi Hossain. The discussion focused on BAMBA's current activities and the way forward in the face of the challenges confronting our music industry.

Link 2

Zoe Saldana on the Hollywood Walk of Fame After smashing success as the alien warrior Gamora in the Guardians of the Galaxy films and more recently, Avengers: Infinity War, Zoe Saldana is on a path to eternal stardom, literally. She joins the likes of Marilyn Monroe, Charlie Chaplin and her co-actor Chris Pratt, by receiving her very own star in the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Zoe Saldana took to Instagram to express her gratitude, saying she is blessed and honored to be a part of the history of Hollywood. “May this open more doors for Latinx and all other under-represented community!” she further stated. Zoe Saldana has also appeared in James Cameron's 2009 film Avatar and the recent Star Trek trilogy. Being a constant presence in blockbuster sci-fi and fantasy films, Zoe Saldana is expected to become a top name in this specific genre quite soon. 2018 71st Cannes Film Festival From Tuesday May 8th til Saturday May 19th. Australian actress Cate Blanchett has been named as the President of the Jury. Asghar Farhadi's psychological thriller Everybody Knows, starring Javier Bardem, Penélope Cruz and Ricardo Darín, opened the festival and competes in the Main Competition section The Han Solo spinoff Solo: A Star Wars Story touched down Tuesday at the Cannes Film Festival, bringing its cast and a full-sized Chewbacca to the French Riviera extravaganza. Director Ron Howard, wearing a hat that read “A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away,” introduced his cast before the film’s international premiere at Cannes. Sonam Kapoor wows at the red carpet of Cannes Film Festival 2018. Bollywood superstar Aishwarya Rai Bachchan once again stole the show as she walked the prestigious red carpet at the Cannes Film Festival, this time in a stunning ultra-violet, blue and red gown that reflected the metamorphosis of a butterfly. History was made at this year's 71st Cannes Film Festival on Saturday as 82 women, representing the limited number of women filmmakers selected over its more than seven-decade history, made a symbolic walk up the red carpet. The stars, filmmakers and other professionals ascended the steps of the Palais des Festivals at the Cannes Film Festival, protesting for the solidarity of the women in the industry who are struggling for a voice, equal pay, as well as a safer work place. The five female members of this year's Cannes jury-- Cate Blanchett, Kristen Stewart, Ava DuVernay, Lea Seydoux and Burundian singer Khadja Nin, along with Jane Fonda, Salma Hayek and Marion Cotillard were among the group of women.

Link 3 Mim Mantasha Superstar in the making Winning the country's biggest pageant is not an ordinary feat. Mim Mantasha has won not just a crown, but also the hearts of millions. Awaiting a new journey, the Lux Channel i Superstar 2018 winner shares her story with The Daily Star. A final year student of Fine Arts at Jahangirnagar University, Mim has always been a creative and curious soul. She was an avid follower of the contest for a long time. This year, she finally took the decision to compete. Taking part in the competition was certainly not a cakewalk. “We went through vigorous training sessions. We did yoga in the mornings,” explains Mim. Before the task rounds, the contestants went through fifteen days of training for ramp walk, acting, dancing, and many other skills. The photo shoots, acting, and improvisation rounds were Mim's favourite tasks in the competition. “I was nervous but in a scene, I got to convince people through my acting that my child was lost. I enjoyed it,” Mim smiles, adding that the competition was an overall memorable experience. Although she is highly enthusiastic about working in the media, she wants to take more preparations before doing so. She is now Lux Bangladesh's brand ambassador and has also won the opportunity to work on television and feature film projects of Impress Telefilm. Before hitting the silver screen, Mim wants to explore the world of television. Being a painter at heart, Mim also wants to continue painting and have her own exhibition in the future. Further to this, she intends to work for children who need special care. “I am in a fortunate position and it is our duty to take care of those in need.” says Mim. With great intentions, we hope Mim Mantasha excels at every step of her future endevours.

Link 4

Avengers Infinity War Review The plot itself is pretty simple. There are six stones that possess mystic powers and he/she who possesses all the stones is by default the most powerful being in the universe. Our Marvel superheroes must forget their own conflicts and join forces against Thanos to restore the fate of the universe and its inhabitants. Of course, watch the movie to know how things pan out. Avengers: Infinity War is the movie of movies, and let me tell you why. Most, if not all, the characters of the MCU are present in this film and bring their own flavour into the mix. Thor is mourning the loss of his home and hammer, Stark feels he needs to take a break from saving the world, Captain America is still out to bring justice the right way, and Hulk has no control over himself. I don't know what formula the Russo brothers have applied in their direction but I watched in awe how all the characters blended to deliver multiple storylines within a movie. Yes, I have also compared this movie to a mega three-hour episode of your daily soap opera. Avengers: Infinity War is the comprehensive Marvel movie; it is the beginning of an end. It lifts you, it hits you, and leaves you with a cliffhanger extraordinaire. See it to believe it and it'll still be unbelievable. By next weekend, Infinity War will top $1.78 billion and could sit around $1.8 billion, ensuring Marvel's year-to-date tally exceeds $3.1 billion by next Sunday.

Deadpool 2 Marketing Right off the bat, you see how Deadpool has scratched out the 20th Century Fox logo and put “TBD,” which is a sly allusion to the ongoing Disney/Fox (and Comcast?) merger drama. The content of the letter is exactly what you might expect from the Merc with a Mouth. Pop culture references, silly puns, bad language, and Ryan Reynolds bashing. Then, at the bottom, instead of the #ThanosDemandsYourSilence, we get #WadeWilsonDemandsYourSisterSorryStupidAutoCorrectSilence. See, you guys, it’s funny! And not at all trying too hard. Kidding aside, the marketing for “Deadpool 2” has been pretty top notch, but perhaps not as great as the first film. Recently, the film premiered a music video for the soundtrack featuring Celine Dion singing an over-the-top ballad while a high-heel-wearing Deadpool does an interpretive dance around the diva. It’s ridiculous and fun. And also, the most recent trailer seems to have struck a chord with fans, who are coming down off their ‘Infinity War’ high.

Link 5

Top 10 Hollywood Box Office Weekend 1. Avengers: Infinity War - $62,078,047 (Total Grossing – $548,090,150) 2. Life of the Party - $17,886,075 (New) 3. Breaking In - $17,630,285 (New) 4. Overboard - $9,864,415 5. A Quiet Place - $6,455,396 (Total Grossing - $169,608,030) 6. I Feel Pretty - $3,805,437 7. Rampage - $3,462,442 (Total Grossing - $89,827,105) 8. Tully - $2,248,945 9. Black Panther - $2,077,207 (Total Grossing - $696,331,818) 10. RBG - $1,188,186

Billboard’s top 10 Hits 1. This Is America – Childish Gambino (New) 2. Nice For What – Drake (Last Week: 1) 3. God’s Plan – Drake 4. Psycho – Post Malone Featuring Ty Dolla $ign (Last Week: 2) 5. Meant To Be – Bebe Rexha & Florida Georgia Line 6. The Middle – Zedd, Maren Morris & Grey 7. Look Alive – BlocBoy JB Featuring Drake 8. Never Be The Same – Camila Cabello 9. Perfect – Ed Sheeran (Last Week: 12) 10. No Tears Left To Cry – Ariana Grande Learning and reflections: This program made me realize the inner potential I had to be so extrovert and be a good host. I learned what to do or say after getting stuck during a live session. I have improved my speaking skills and the flow of a RJ host on how to talk and say because they have a different tone when it comes to a live session. I have taken all these skills from this program and I even got selected and did a short commercial video for Spice FM Radio. I also learned how to write a script for a radio show.

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barley-lightfoot · 4 years

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Onward Review (Spoilers!)

So I just watched Onward, finally, and I have a couple of things to say about it.

Short story long:

By the moment I watched that teaser trailer, I knew I was going to love that film. It had everything I loved, Tom Holland, Chris Pratt, Fantasy elements, suburban elements, gorgeous animation, Barley’s character design is something we don’t see very often and I loved it and it’s made by Pixar.

I wanted to go watch that film as soon as possible, with every clip release I was getting even more excited to watch it. I was planning on watching it at cinemas the Wednesday after its release where I live, even cosplay as Barley, but due to the corona virus pandemic those plans were cancelled and so I was left with the idea that I’d have to wait to watch that film until the whole corona situation was done, and let’s just say that I wasn’t very happy about it. Luckily the good people at Disney set its digital release earlier and thus I got to download it and finally see it.

What I liked:

The animation was glorious! The colors, the textures, the effects, the designs, everything were beautiful.

The brotherly relationship between Ian and Barley. It was so cute and wholesome.I’m so glad that Pixar didn’t do any of the usual cliches they tend to do when it comes to relationships between brothers.

Barley is such a great character! His character design is something I don’t see as often as I see Ian’s (but that’s something I’ll talk about later), he’s also quite relatable (to me at least) and he’s such a good brother, he’s always by Ian’s side, he takes care of him and supports him so much, he isn’t even jealous that Ian was the one with magic and not him despite his huge passion for it, he’s just happy about him. Not to mention that he exceeds expectations, what I mean is that usually in movies Barley with his design and role as the older brother is the big tough popular guy who always teases Ian and bullies him in a way until they go on this adventure that completely changes their relationship to the better, but no because Pixar gave us something better, Barley the way he is! He’s soft, dorky, excitable, loyal, protective, supportive and so much more!

I loved the Laurel and the manticore, their part of the movie was so enjoyable, so much so that their relationship felt more natural than Laurel’s with Colt (But I’ll talk about it more later)

Ian was also a very nice character! I’ll be honest that I had my eyes straight on Barley ever since I found out about that movie so I didn’t care much about Ian and I didn’t expect to like him as much as I do know, I liked his journey and development, I also liked his motives.

Wilden’s legs were amazing, I honestly didn’t expect them to have this much character, but that’s Pixar if they can make a movie about emotions with emotions they can give a pair of legs a character.

The voice acting is amazing! While you can tell who voices who in the movie, their voices blend with the characters extremely nicely as if the character owns the voice rather than the actor.

The ending! It’s just *chef’s kiss*! I love it so so so much!!! Especially the last shot being the photo of Ian and Barley!

What I didn’t like/would change

I must say that I’m not a big fan of Colt (the centaur), he annoyed me by his first appearance, I’ll admit that I warmed up to him by the end of the movie, but even then he’s not as memorable as any of the other characters. I guess they tried to add a lesson in the film that step parents aren’t bad, but they didn’t execute it correctly because Colt’s character development is almost non existent, like he goes from point A to point C but point B isn’t shown at all, point B in my opinion could be the part when Barley and Ian are chased by the police at that point Colt could have seen how important it is for them so instead of sacrificing Guinevere he could help distract the other cops as Barley and Ian are escaping or him helping them at any moment would have added more to his development and make him a more important character, because otherwise you could take him out of the movie and nothing would change.

Laurel and the manticore should have been together. They had way more chemistry than Laurel and Colt had and not to mention that it could still give a nice lesson of moving on.

It’s probably because I’m biased, but I would have loved more of Barley in the movie, like what’s his daily routine like? Does he study somewhere? Does he work somewhere? What else does he do in his free time?

A nice touch that I don’t really care that much about would be if they did something similar in monsters inc, like Barley could find a spell that would have given Ian a second chance to meet their dad, but again I don’t mind much about it.

Stuff that took me by surprise

Ian’s breakdown when they realized they went back to his school. I was pleasantly surprised that that scene wasn’t as mean-spirited as I expected, I completely understoood why Ian felt that way and did what he did.

The twist. I didn’t expect Ian to give Barley his last chance on meeting their dad, it was so touching and I won’t hide the fact that I did cry during that scene.

The scene in which Ian realizes that everything he wanted to do with his father he already did with Barley

Favorite scenes:

The beginning of the film.

The dancing scene with Ian, Barley and their father.

The bridge scene.

When Laurel and the manticore got back the sword.

Barley and Ian’s memories.

The ending

Long story short:

Is it the best Pixar movie? No. Did I cry as much as I did with Coco? I think so. Is it a new fave of mine? HELLS TO THE YES!!! Onward is my new favorite Pixar movie and it’s definitely in my top 5 favorite movies and not only do I recommend, but I insist on watching it.

#onward #pixar onward #barley lightfoot #ian lightfoot #laurel lightfoot #the manticore #elf rambles

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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Jurassic World Camp Cretaceous Season 3 Easter Eggs and References

https://ift.tt/3uaFO0z

This article contains spoilers for Jurassic World Camp Cretaceous Season 3.

The third season of the Netflix and DreamWorks animated series Jurassic World Camp Cretaceous pits the teenaged main characters against the Scorpius rex, a hybrid dinosaur like nothing they’ve ever dealt with before. They successfully defeat her, while simultaneously thwarting an attempt by Dr. Henry Wu to retrieve his research on the hybrids and dealing with the emotional impact of leaving their new found family.

This season has a good amount of references to the rest of the franchise, like we have come to expect from the show, and in the final seconds teases the possibility of a fourth season. Here are some notable Easter eggs and other references to the Jurassic World and Jurassic Park canon.

The Helicopter

In Camp Cretaceous season 1, which took place concurrently with Jurassic World, we saw Simon Masrani’s helicopter crash into the aviary from the point of view of our camp fam, instead of Owen Grady and Claire Dearing (Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard) as shown in the movie. Season three of Camp Cretaceous continues to show us events from the movies from another perspective, as the story overlaps with the beginning of Fallen Kingdom.

Yes, it’s been six months since the Jurassic World incident stranded our group of teenagers on the island, as we find out from the pilot of one of the helicopters that arrive near the end of the season. Unfortunately, they aren’t the rescue team the kids have been hoping for. They’ve come to find the remains of the Indominus rex and extract DNA.

Camp Cretaceous Reveals the Real Monsters of Jurassic World

By Jennifer Lee Rossman

Jurassic World Camp Cretaceous Season 2 Ending Explained

By Jennifer Lee Rossman

In one harrowing scene, Rexy the Tyrannosaurus pursues a man dangling from one of the helicopters. He gets away, but his relief is short-lived when the park mosasaur leaps out of the water and devours him. If that scene gives you a sense of déjà vu, that’s because it takes place in the opening minutes of Fallen Kingdom, only this time we get to see it from the perspective of Darius, Brooklynn, and Yaz. Even though we didn’t see them in the movie, these kids were never far from the action. (And may have even caused it in this particular instance; Rexy was only in that area because she had been chasing after the kids.)

While that may be the most obvious connection to the timeline of the movies, the rest of the season has its fair share of references and homages.

Scorpius rex

Last season, the kids discovered a mysterious experiment known only as E750, which escaped her cryogenic chamber during the cliffhanger finale. This season, we get to meet her: Scorpius rex, an unstable and unpredictable hybrid made by none other than Dr. Henry Wu (played by BD Wong in the movies and voiced by Greg Chun in Camp Cretaceous).

She’s big, she’s bad, she’s covered in poisonous spikes, and she may be the most dangerous dinosaur on the island. Oh, and did I mention she can reproduce asexually?

Just like in Jurassic Park, when it is revealed that the dinosaurs can change their sex thanks to the frog DNA the scientists used to fill in the sequence gaps, our terrifying tree climbing friend Scorpius has developed the ability to produce offspring all on her own. (You go, girl. You’re a modern woman, you can juggle being a single mother and having a career screwing up ecosystems!)

Blue

Dr. Wu isn’t the only character from the movies who makes an appearance in this season of Camp Cretaceous. Blue, the sole member of the Velociraptor pack to survive the Jurassic World incident, crosses paths with the kids a few times.

Blue previously battled the Indominus rex in Jurassic World, and later takes on the Indoraptor near the end of Fallen Kingdom, but it turns out those weren’t her only experiences fighting hybrid dinosaurs. While I wouldn’t say she and the campers necessarily trust one another, Darius does save her life when she becomes trapped under a vehicle, and there is an uneasy alliance after that. Sort of an “enemy of my enemy” situation, with them having a similar goal to defeat the Scorpius rexes. (Scorpiuses rex?)

It would also appear that Blue and the other raptors, along with their trainer Owen Grady (Chris Pratt), might have been a little bit famous before the fall of the park, at least in dinosaur nerd circles. How else would Darius know how to mimic the nonverbal signals used by Owen to communicate with the raptors?

The Kitchen

While trying to get a compass back from the Compsognathus that stole it, the kids stumble upon the original Jurassic Park, which is rumored to be either haunted or cursed by the spirit of John Hammond (Richard Attenborough). And of course, no visit to Jurassic Park is complete without a trip to the visitor center. Nature has taken over the iconic building where we first met Mr. DNA, and where the first of many dramatic showdowns between Tyrannosaurus and Velociraptor marked the dénouement of the first film. Ferns and vines have turned the center into something resembling a greenhouse, and the Compies have built nests on old scaffolding and near the atrium ceiling.

And then, of course, there’s the kitchen.

When one of the Scorpius girls follows the kids into the visitor center’s kitchen, you can’t help but be reminded of Tim and Lex (Joseph Mazzello and Ariana Richards) hiding from the raptors in the first Jurassic Park movie. References to that scene abound, most noticeably the dinosaur’s breath fogging up the round window in the door, but this isn’t just an Easter egg hunt. Rather, the scene parallels the original to show the differences between the clever raptors and the… not so clever Scorpius.

The original raptors are careful, methodical, as they stalk John Hammond’s grandchildren through the kitchen. They move with a purpose that shows us just how intelligent they are.

Scorpius Rex, on the other hand, can’t open the door handle and chooses instead to just bash through it like the chaotic neutral she is. Less of an apex predator and more of a panicking cat with a balloon static electricity’d to her butt, Scorpius is still dangerous, perhaps even more so because she is unpredictable.

At the end of the scene, in one final blink and you’ll miss it nod to the original, an instantly recognizable soup ladle is one of several kitchen utensils sent flying through the air. The season ends with most of the storylines wrapped up and the kids seemingly on their way to safety on a boat headed for Costa Rica. Except… remember the door handle in the kitchen? Turns out, boats have the same handles, and one of them is jiggling in that distinctive raptor way.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Do we have a stowaway? We’ll find out if we get a fourth season.

Jurassic World Camp Cretaceous season 3 is available to stream on Netflix now.

The post Jurassic World Camp Cretaceous Season 3 Easter Eggs and References appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3fDpBeW

#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

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hollandstanevans · 4 years

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Awkward

Chapter 5

*disclaimer this is a work of fiction so none of this is actually real*

warning: maybe some language; lack of proofreading

masterlist

5 months later

Life had finally started to get back to normal well as normal as it was going to get. You had been casually dating Tom for about 2 months and things were great you hadn’t dated anyone your age ever. With graduating high school early it was very difficult for you to make friends your own age and let alone date anyone your age. They were always just so immature and Tom just wasn’t. So this time had just been a great couple of months, but you were about to change something major in your life. If things were ever going to get serious with Tom there were a couple that you needed to do first and a couple of things you needed to tell him but that could wait, right?

It was 3 pm and your shift at work was finally over so you thought now was a perfect time as any. So you went to Miller’s office and knocked on the door, “Hey Miller we need to talk”.

“What’s up l/n?” he replied.

“Well I’ve already informed the board and I’ve asked them to let me inform you but today will be my last day here”

“What are you talking about l/n you can’t leave surgery again you are amazing and those kids need you”

“No Miller I’m not leaving surgery I’m just leaving the hospital. I’ve come to realize I don’t love it here anymore. I’m taking a job offer closer to home in New York”.

“Come on f/n you can’t just leave me understaffed what can I do to get you to stay”

“Honestly Miller there’s not anything you could do but I am not leaving you without replacement choices.” You handed him 3 folders filled with information about the doctors you interviewed. “These are my top 3 pics and the choice is ultimately up to you but my top pick is the Alex Karev guy he has the talent and he looks like he would fight for his patients”. Your phones started to buzz meaning you were about to be late for your flight back to New York. “Hey look Miller I’m sorry but I have to go I hope to see you around sometime”. And with that being said you went on your way waiting for all that life will be bringing to you.

Hemsworth texted you and to let you know that he would be there to pick you up from the airport and in less than 2 hours you were back home in New York looking for your brother until you heard a voice.

“L/n over here”. You turned around and there was your brother you ran over and gave him a big hug and told him that you were glad to be back home. So you guys got in his car and the next thing out of his mouth was “I hope that you don’t have plans for tonight because if you do I’m going to need you to cancel them because we’re having game night”.

“Well seeing as I just got back home no I don’t have any plans but who all is going to be there?”

“Umm the usual and some new people you haven’t met yet. Actually, what was the last movie you saw?”

“Ultron I think with med school and life I didn’t have the time and when I finally did I didn’t want to see Chris’s face so yea, speaking of him is he going to be there”.

“Yes, but there are many people that you haven’t met yet that I want to introduce you too. Like the kid who plays spider-man-”

��Wait spider-man isn’t he with Sony”

“See y/n you’ve missed a lot and Rdj, Seb, Johansson, and Pratt will be there too and they miss you and it’s at your house so you have like no other choice”.

Your brother did have a point so the next thing out of your mouth was, “I guess I can show my face and meet the new people”.

“Now that sounds like my annoying sister,” he said as you guys were pulling up to the house.

“So how long do I have until people start to get here?”

“Um, about 20 minutes.”

“20 minutes Christopher Hemsworth have you lost your mind that barely gives me…”

Hemsworth cut you off and started pushing you in the house “Well looks like you need to stop talking and get to doing whatever you need to do.”

So you ran up to your room to hurry and get ready. You looked for comfortable clothes

and you found a pair of leggings and an old Hopkins sweatshirt. So with the little time, you had left you went and jumped in the shower and washed up and when you got out you just threw your hair up so it would be out of your face. By the time you got finished, it had been 40 minutes since you got home and you could hear people downstairs so you decide to bite the bullet and go.

You walked down slowly, one step at a time and you got down there and the first thing you heard was a voice that said, “Hey y/n long time no see,” you turned your head to match the voice to the person and it was someone you hadn’t seen in a long time.

“Well Seb same could be said to you”, you replied.

“If my memory serves correct you were the one who went m.i.a”, he retorted but he could see very instantly how uneasy that made you so he quickly added, “but that is in the past now I’m just happy to see you”.

You smiled gave him a hug and went around to speak everyone and somehow about 30 minutes later you were playing the most intense game of beer pong with Seb against Johanson and Pratt when you slipped and while you waited for the ground to come it never did.

“Woah watch yourself y/n you don’t want to hurt yourself”, said someone you knew all too well.

“You know what… just thank you Chris”, you replied

“Well don’t lose the game babe,” he responded.

“I’m not your… nevermind” you muttered.

Everyone had finished their games and now all eyes were on you as you were about to throw the winning shot an oddly familiar voice said, “Hey guys I’m sorry I’m late”. You turned around and saw someone you weren’t expecting to see here “Tom?”, you questioned.

“Babe what are you doing here?”, he asked.

“I live here what are you doing here? Hemsworth, how do you know him?”, you said.

“He plays Spider-man”, your brother told you.

“Sp-sp-spider-man, oh you’re spider-man”, you said starting to feel a little lightheaded from all of this.

“So are we all just going to ignore the fact that he called my wife babe?”, Chris asked the room.

“Your wife? Y/n you’re married?”, Tom asked you.

“Only on paper,” you retorted. You shock starting to wear off you walked towards Tom and said, “Can we take this somewhere where everyone isn’t. I hate everyone knowing my business and I’ll explain everything once we’re alone ok,” you told him.

“Ok”

a/n: it’s been a while hasn’t it? Truth be told I didn’t know what to do with this, I was really just stumped for ideas but I think I have most things figured out. I’m going to try to start updating every 2 weeks and then try to progress to updating every week but I don’t want to make any promises. I am working on the next chapter of a political monster so that should be coming here soon and if you are in the taglist and no longer want to be on it just let me know and I’ll remove your name or if you wanted to be added let me know. I hope everyone is doing well and if you guys need someone to talk to during these hard times I am always here!! ttyl

taglist:

@hnnhjy @inlovewith3 @zabdisamor @beck-alicious

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phrynewrites · 4 years

Note

6 and/or 50 for Branjie please?

Thanks for the prompt! Here’s a little snippet from The Audit (i.e. the rewrite of DOPS) Enjoy!

6: “I’m not crying, you’re crying.”

50. “That looks like it hurts.”

“So,” Brooke says, the greeting slashing like a knife as she closes the conference room door behind her, trying to hide her irritation at Director Oddly’s whole staff meeting in her office. She pauses, cocking a brow as she waits for them to quiet and face her.

She clears her throat, growing exasperated. But still, Silky doesn’t stop talking about her unresolved Venmo requests from when she covered drinks at bar trivia last night.

“I have cut all funding from the…” Brooke glances down at her clipboard, squinting at her own tiny, slanted handwriting. “Lanmore Learnmore project. I will also be cutting at least one person from this staff monthly, until this department is comprised only of essential staff—”

She continues talking over various objections with ease, learning long ago to block out the outcries of those who’ve never consulted their own budget, spent wildly, without consideration for their constituents’ tax dollar while truly increasing quality of life. In her experience, local governments experience less public backlash from their citizens when essential services are enhanced and fat is trimmed from budgets—even forty-five dollars saved per household is pleasing; most people think they can spend their forty-five dollars better than their government could.

So yes, she heard Yvie’s “fucking god,” muttered against her blazer sleeve and saw Scarlet drop her pen under the table, just for an excuse to not face Brooke as she announced lay-offs, and she knew Silky was rolling her eyes to the back of head at least six times over, while making no attempt to hide her scowl.

But she stops once she hears a choked cry from across the room, namely, from Vanessa, who looks folded up in Brooke’s cushy desk chair, pulling Brooke’s cardigan off of the back of her chair and crumpling it in her lap.

Brooke huffs. She’d have to send it straight to the dry cleaner. Maybe she should find one in town. Maybe she could wait until she got back to Richmond.

“There’s nothing to cry about. It’s the truth of the situation, which you all put yourselves in.” Brooke points around the room with her pen. “Maybe if you all performed your jobs properly, cognizant of the budget you were provided, and frankly don’t deserve, I wouldn’t have to be here and we wouldn’t have to do this.”

“What the fuck, lady?” Yvie springs out of her chair, before Scarlet and A’Keria pull her back down by either shoulder.

“I’m not crying, you’re crying. Fuck you.” Vanjie’s voice is small and swallowed up in herself. Nothing more than a quivering call across the table.

“Am I?” Brooke looks back at her from the side of her eyes, finding it difficult to look at the woman head on. “Look, it’s not personal. Numbers aren’t personal. Miss Mateo.”

“Well, it’s personal when you’re cutting someone’s whole program, which helps people learn the job skills they need to rebuild their lives,” Nina poses, even toned, even as Vanessa crushed her hand in hers. “And you try to fire one of our friends every month.”

Brooke took a deep inhale. Friends. As if they won’t turn on one another the minute she leaves the conference room, trying to outperform each other to keep their jobs. Maybe then they’d actually perform the job they've been paid to perform for years, most of them, with either poor or unverified results.

“You’re destroying what she built her whole career on. Of course she’s upset,” Silky adds.

“I gotta get out of here. I gotta go now.” Vanjie pushes the chair out and throws the cardigan down on the table before haphazardly gathering her notebook and phone. As she stands, her phone slips out of her hands, rattling to the floor. She can't decide whether to pick it up or run, instead deciding to do both poorly. She doesn’t notice Brooke’s laptop charger lying across the carpet, running at full speed, tripping over the taut cable, her elbow slamming into the wheels of Yvie’s chair, her face slamming into Scarlet’s with a sharp grunt.

Vanjie pulls her face back, squinting at the carpet. She can’t tell if that red stain has always been there, and if so, what’d it’d be from. Maybe from the last Christmas party, when Scarlet was standing on the table, barefoot, hanging up all of those string lights, already deep into a box of Chardonnay, and slipped off, expecting to be caught by her girlfriend, and instead crashing down like a rag doll thrown against the window by an angry toddler, earning herself a cut above her eyebrow.

Vanjie swipes her hand across her face, trying to clear her mind, only to see red again.

Brooke sucks at her front teeth. “Oh, that looks like it hurts.”

“Yeah of course it would fucking hurt,” Yvie shouts back, sparking a series of outbursts, mostly from Silky, who pledged to find Brooke’s ‘fancy ass car’ and take all the stuffing out of her cushy, leather seats for hurting Vanjie, and A’keria, who decided that tomorrow, every single day, she’d do one thing to ruin Brooke’s day until it all mounted up and she’d have no choice but to quit, or have a complete break down in the office. Nina pries Vanjie off of the carpet. Scarlet stands up, trying to calm down all of the yelling, looking like Chris Pratt trying to round up the raptors in Jurassic Park, and faring about as well as he did, alternating between asking everyone to sit back down and telling Vanjie to make sure she doesn’t have a broken nose because, god, that thing looks fucked up.

“Enough!” Brooke bellows, making the room feel cramped with her command. She’s pleased as each head snaps up.

Vanjie braces herself against the window as Silky tosses Brooke’s cardigan over to Nina, who presses it against Vanjie’s gushing nose.

Brooke will have to find a dry cleaner here, she supposes.

“Now, someone take her to the ER—”

“None of us have our cars,” Silky says, as though it were obvious.

Brooke tears away from her bloody cardigan and the foolish woman holding it, wracked by heaving tears. “And why wouldn’t any one of you have a car. How did you get here? To your place of work?

“Well, we were at bar trivia last night, which y’all all owe me for covering pitchers and mozzarella sticks. So me, Kiki, Vanj and Scarlet were out late and then Ubered to work,” Silky explains before taking a sip of her coffee.

“But your shirt is…”

“We keep spare work clothes at our desks. Ever since 2017,” Scarlet says easily.

Nina turns the cardigan to press a clean bit against Vanjie, revealing a candy red blotch on it. “I was at Monet’s, working on the health fair, so she drove me with her.”

Brooke has no idea who Monet was, or why this whole table of women were leering at Nina with a childish “ooooh,” as though Nina were just called to the principal’s office. She turns to Yvie, unclasping her palms to welcome her response.

“I just…” Yvie turns scarlet. “Yesterday night I just...had a late night. Slept over with someone, and just, got a ride from her house.” It tumbles out, earning another chorus of oohs.

Brooke shakes her head, face falling for a moment, zeroing in on Scarlet’s hand, still resting on Yvie’s forearm. “Wait, you two aren’t, you know?”

This time, Brooke cuts off the peanut gallery as it begins to fire up, leaving Scarlet looking like a ghost of herself, wide eyed and stirring, and Yvie suddenly very interested in her finger nails.

“Doesn’t matter. I’m taking you to the hospital,” Brooke says, nodding in Vanjie’s direction. “But don’t be mistaken, when I get back, I’m filing the reallocation paperwork for your program and drafting a severance package.”

#for anon #the audit #new dops #dops redo babey #rpdr fanfiction #branjie #scyvie #ninex #ask phryne #asks answered #drabbles

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allie1804-fan · 3 years

Text

Malaise (Chapter 7 - Playing the Field)

Chapter 1, 2 , 3, 4, 5, 6

Over the few weeks that followed her realisation, she made an effort to not always agree to the meet ups he suggested. A couple of times, they would agree earlier in the day that Chinese was on the cards and then she would bail on him (claiming tiredness or something coming up with the kids) or she’d go for the Chinese but decide against the sex. It was never because she didn’t want to but sometimes just to feel like she had some power over the situation, to not feel like every time he said jump , she asked how high.

One of the other actors, David, was also ‘sniffing around’ as Keanu called it. He’d even teased her about it but she also sensed a certain tone in his voice , a certain bristling!

The day finally came when David got the courage to ask her out to the theatre - he’d got tickets for a show with a friend but they were ill. They were within earshot of Keanu when he asked and she said she’d check if she could and let him know – her excuse was that her kids might need her, they would often spring the need for a ride on her last minute. “That’s true” thought Keanu but he also knew that she’d tell them to ‘do one and get an Uber’ if she wanted to be with him. He smiled to himself and hatched a plan to make the decision for her, or so he thought. Over lunch, they sat together and he asked her to a movie he knew she wanted to see, throwing his hat in the ring as it were. Surprising him, she said she was not sure and later on she made her mind up to go with David, just to try something new. After all, that’s what she had said after her divorce and, she argued with herself that she and Keanu had said ‘no strings’. She should test what she’d promised herself and play the field.

Later on when she went to find Keanu and let him know she couldn’t make it to the movie, she could see he was pissed off – it gave her a slight thrill if she was honest. However, the date with David really wasn’t fun and she just didn’t find him sexy and his goodnight kiss was lousy. She’d chalk that one up to experience!

Keanu chose to go to the gym instead of the movie – he realised he really wanted to see it with her so they could talk about it after. He spent a good 10 minutes on the punch bag and spent longer than usual overall, just trying to get the tension out of his body. When he got home, he called the agency and asked for Tara.

She was free the next day and he felt a kind of childish glee telling Celia he had to go and skip the Chinese even though they had worked late so it would usually have been on the cards.

“So, this is a surprise” Tara said when she’d sat down on a stool at the huge kitchen island. I thought maybe you’d given up on this, I’ve seen a few pics of you lately out and about with a raven-haired beauty” she teased and he blushed.

“just a friend” he lied “she’s the cinematographer on my movie”

“With benefits?” she pried and he went even redder.

“OK, OK, yes there have been benefits!”

“So where is she now?”

“I don’t know and I don’t need to know, we’re playing it cool, no strings. She’s a divorcee, she’s playing the field”

“You’re pouting!” she laughed wickedly.

“Am not!” he protested.

“Ok, ok I’m sorry. I’m overstepping. Why don’t we eat” she said gesturing towards the Thai take out on the kitchen counter that he’d ordered in, “and you can tell me all about her”

“So you met on set then?”

He nodded, tucking into his chicken.

“and how did the whole benefits thing get started?”

“Well she basically told me she was horny and asked ‘was I’ and we took it from there”

“Wow, direct! And she said this on set?”

“He guffawed

“No, we started having a Chinese together, round the corner from the studio on days when we worked late discussing the shoot for the next day and she suggested it after one of those meals. I told her I wasn’t after anything serious and she said ‘me neither’ and so we went from there”

“From there to where?” Tara enquired

“Well to it being a regular thing for the last couple of months but lately ……”

“Lately what?”

“She’s seemed less keen, had more other commitments and then, I’m pretty sure, a date with this other guy from set”

“You’re jealous!” she exclaimed.

He opened his mouth to protest but decided against it and just shook his head then nodded before whispering sadly

“but I have no right to be”

“And I’m here as your revenge, right?”

“naahhh, relief more like”

“come on!” Tara blurted out “be truthful, I’ve got no stakes in this, you can admit it to me!”

He shrugged his shoulders

“Maybe”

“and do you really want to have sex with me?”

He shook his head.

“you’ll still get paid, don’t worry but no, I don’t”

Tara smiled sympathetically

“From the pics I saw, you obviously didn’t just have sex. What else did you do?”

“dinner, movies, bike rides, just chill together reading a book”

Tara just chuckled “mmm very non committed – not!”

“Friends have dinner, go to the movies, bike rides, chill……”

“mmmmmm” she replied still smiling smugly.

“And what’s she like?”

Mmmmm sexy....”

“Typical man, I mean as a person!”

“I was getting to that! – she’s charming, witty, well read, empathetic, kind, hard working, straightforward”

“seems pretty obvious to me that you’re smitten”

“I gotta get a grip, we said no strings and no pressure. That’s what we both wanted – pressure free sex.”

“Maybe it’s time to see if she, and you are willing to be more committed. She might just be testing you with this date thing or maybe she’s freaking out because it all got too cosy too quickly”

They chatted a bit more and Tara took her leave for the first time ever without having sex, leaving him to stew on what she’d said.

Meanwhile, Celia had called a couple of girlfriends, Sarah and Chloe, round to her house for a few drinks and a catch up.

“So what’s Keanu like?” Chloe asked.

“What?!” Celia said sharply, taken by surprise at the question. She had wanted to talk about him but in an anonymous way and her first thought was that maybe her friends had seen pictures of them and put two and two together.

“he’s in the movie you’re on right?, Thought you might like to share if he’s as nice as they say”

“Right, yes, sure he’s on the movie and yes he is really nice, a real sweetheart” she said honestly, relieved that they seemed only to be asking from a ‘please dish about the celebrity’ point of view.

“And hot right, isn’t he like heading for 60 or something?”

She laughed at that

“I guess he must be, and yes he’s very fine looking, easy on my eyes behind the camera!” she smirked, thinking (and easy on the eye when he’s on top of me too!)

“And Chris Pratt, what about him?” Sarah chipped in.

“Yes sure, also a sweetie, no divas on this set which is always good” she replied, relieved that the conversation on Keanu had moved on quickly.

“And how’s the love life going?” Sarah asked. The last time they had met had been on the one year anniversary of Celia’s divorce where she’d announced her intention to ‘get back out there’

“good, well I think good, I dunno”

“Pray tell, sounds like there’s a story there!”

“Well I’ve been seeing a guy from set, but nothing serious. We agreed up front to just have a little fun, you know”

“Sexy fun?”

Celia was blushing as she nodded ‘yes’ to that.

“Good?”

“sooooo good, my god!” I’ve never …”

“Never what?”

“She blushed, never having been quite so direct about her sex life

“Never come so hard!”

“Ooooh wow, so why do you sound all uncertain? Sounds ideal to me no strings, great sex that makes you happy”

“I dunno, we haven’t put any pressure on really and we are comfortable in each other’s company, very comfortable. It just started to feel a bit coupley you know and I wasn’t seeing anyone else, just him a couple of times a week. So a couple of days ago, this other guy, one of the actors, asked me out and I decided to go. And the other guy also asked me to go see a movie we’d been talking about seeing and I turned him down, to make myself try playing the field, you know. Because that’s what I said I would do and, you know what, it was lame, he was lame and not a good kisser so now I’m wishing I’d gone to the movie with K. with, you know the first guy (she had almost said ‘with Keanu’ and stopped herself in the nick of time before saying Ke and giving the game away!) but I am also worried that, you know, I am just slipping into needing it to be a proper relationship and he said he doesn’t want one so that’s just going to end in tears right and I said I didn’t want one but maybe I’m just not cut out for this no strings thing”

She paused to draw breath

“wow, OK, so maybe you need to have it out with him, the non actor guy, and tell him what’s going through your mind”

“mmmmm” Celia was relieved that her mentioning Dave as the actor guy had made them assume Keanu was a non actor guy!

“he’s a nice guy right?”

“yes! He’s a sweetheart, very charming, he really makes me laugh, has a sharp wit, intelligent, kind, incredibly committed to the project, pretty down to earth, oh and sexy, sexy as hell!”

“So, if you tell him how you feel and he doesn’t want a relationship, then he’s not going to be mean about it right?”

“Probably not”

“Ok so tell him. You can’t carry on in limbo can you, wondering if this is it but maybe needing more?”

“I guess, I just feel bad, I mean I was the one to proposition him for god sake! And the first thing he said was that he wasn’t looking for anything serious and I was like “me neither” We went into it for fun, sex and companionship, he didn’t ask for me to get all smitten and need to know where I stand!”

“Shit happens!” Chloe giggled

They all laughed and clinked glasses.

“So what happened when you turned down guy no 1 for the movie”

Celia giggled

“I think he was pissed – in fact I think he heard actor guy ask me out so he maybe knew I’d rejected him and then the next day we’d worked late and we’d normally go for a Chinese and he said he had some other commitment”

“Ohhh, I say he’ was proving to you that he’s not your bitch!”

“mmm I hadn’t thought of that, doesn’t seem like his style”

“Well you’ll only find out if you talk to him” Chloe stated firmly and Celia nodded, knowing that was the only way forward.

@penwieldingdreamer @fortheloveoffanfic @kindainlovewithkeanu @ladyreapermc @witty-wallflower @gatsbynouvel @bitchyslut99 @keanureevesisbae @omg-imagine @iworshipkeanureeves @fics-not-tragedies @ficsnroses @kindainlovewithkeanu @paperplanesandwallflowers

#keanu reeves fanfic #keanu reeves fanfiction #keanu #keanu reeves #keanu reeves ofc

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therachelperspective · 4 years

Photo

BOOK | Unqualified by Anna Faris

Remind me to pay more attention.

When I was about to begin this book, I was blindsided by the subtitle that I have never seen and only found on the official title page once I opened it. This is not just Unqualified by Anna "Rhymes with Donna” Faris; this is Unqualified: Love and Relationship Advice from a Celebrity Who Just Wants to Help. Excuse me WHAT?! Turns out, I’ve been under a rock and this is the gist of both her podcast and her book. And here I thought I knew things. *facepalm*

While she may not necessarily be qualified in the love department, she is actually qualified to write a book. Or at least a little more qualified than some other celebrities. Our lovely Anna actually has a degree in English from the University of Washington, and that honestly gave me so much hope going into Unqualified. One thing I always struggle with is when celebrities are given book deals seeming to only sprout from their fame; most are horrible writers, but I suppose that’s what gives those books their charm, proving even in the slightest that yes, celebrities are just as flawed as we are, except with more money. ANYWHO, finding out that Anna knows her stuff was such a promising fact. ‘Cause let me tell you, if I based reading a book on it’s Foreword, I would have put this one down and walked far away. (That’s not entirely true, but you know what I mean).

Let’s start by talking about the Foreword by her then-husband Chris Pratt.

First and foremost, I want to say that, knowing that Anna and Chris announced/got divorced shortly after the publishing of this book in 2017 kind of puts a damper on the whole thing. Not because it may insinuate to some readers that she should not be giving advice on love and relationships, but rather because they were such a cute couple and, as many fans said once it was announced, makes it feel like love is dead if these two couldn’t make it. So the dedication, the foreword, and the plethora of times she discussed her relationship with Chris throughout the book were all so sad. And the way she talks about him and the anecdotes of what he’s done for her... it really is so difficult to believe that these two didn’t last.

Secondly, Chris Pratt should not be writing. This foreword was so painfully awkward that, like I said, if I were basing my continuation of a book on that first introduction, I would not have read it. And if you Google the topic, you will find numerous online articles with this same connotation; we all agree it is baaaad. Not only did he spend more time talking about himself and how he doesn’t know what a “foreword” is, he also made it sound like it was just an obligation with a word count. “I love her and respect her and told her I would” was his reasoning. Not once did I feel like he set the mood for the book from a more personal perspective, as a person who was her family for a decade, but rather he was giving us a short biography of Anna – things like how they both grew up in Washington, how they’re both actors that play idiots (his Andy Dwyer to her Cindy Campbell), how acting is her passion, various traits of her personality (how she is kind and what he calls an “information collector”). There was one line that made me believe that he was writing this foreword as a way to convince us to give Anna a book deal as if we were the publishers. He says “Anna deserves this book. I can promise you it will be a great and interesting read.” Yes, Chris, it was. But your foreword could have provided so much more than a grade-school style report on your ex-wife. I’m so glad Anna also wrote her own introduction. If you do end up reading this book, please just skip right to her intro.

In the first handful of chapters of Unqualified, I wasn’t entirely convinced that this book was worth reading. Especially during those times where she straight up admitted that she was giving advice based on speculation instead of actual experience. I’m not saying that Anna has to have experienced everything experience-able in order to talk to people about it, but saying that she didn’t actually have a relationship related to a certain topic just puts a damper on what she’s trying to help with. Like the list of men she says to not date; it includes musicians, doctors, athletes, chefs, therapists, and actors. (It also includes magicians, but I think most women steer clear of them anyways lol). With the exception of actors, none of those are based on her own personal experiences with anyone in those professions. She even says to us “I have zero experience.” So who should you date, as per Anna Faris? Woodworkers. Or a guy who makes boats, because they brood. *shakes head* Girl, I can’t even.

While I’m indifferent to the portions of Unqualified regarding her childhood through most of her young adult life (college shenanigans don’t really pique my interest), there is a passage that has stuck with me long after finishing this book. Anna’s childhood crush/ “boyfriend” (she was 8 years old here, call it what you will) had just dumped her. So she goes home, grabs an orange from the fridge, writes this horrible boy’s name on it in marker, and then proceeds to chuck said orange into the forest behind her family’s home as a means to get over him. Anna dubs this the “orange ceremony,” which she says she must have felt it symbolic, wherein casting fruit into the “abyss” would rid her of the emotions of the situation. She may have been a child at the time, but as an adult, I absolutely love this concept. This sort of symbology is very reminiscent of various practices in paganism. Obviously not her intent as I highly doubt she was a practicing pagan at eight-years-old, but the truth is, things like this can actually work. Some of us older individuals would just need a lot of oranges.

The reason it has taken me soooo much longer to write a review for Unqualified (I finished it months ago, yikes!), is because I honestly just don’t know how I feel about it. My notebook is filled with pull-quotes and excerpts that stirred me in some way, shape, or form – and many of them, very good! – but as an overall novel, I can’t decide if I should keep it for a future reread, or donate it. The only thing I feel that really sticks out in my mind about this book was how much I hated Chris Pratt’s introduction. And that is sad and depressing.

I did like that Unqualified was not just purely about love and relationships advice, and that it was intermixed with her personal memoir. I say that because there were plenty of times where her advice was not even advice at all. Like, for example, when she moved to Los Angeles with/for her then boyfriend. It’s reminiscent of an action many women take in tales of love. However, Anna also followed a career venture. This wasn’t solely about following her boyfriend out of sheer infatuation; if the relationship didn’t work out, she still had something there to fall back on, and that’s not something typical of an experience like this. Granted, yes, it’s kudos on her part for going for her own reasons, as well as for a guy, and it plays into her discussion of feminism at the beginning of the chapter. But in this of many parts of the book that was supposedly advice-driven, I made the note that maybe one sentence or one small paragraph at the end could have passed for guidance. At least, in most cases, she’s aware it’s not helpful.

Despite my typical qualms with books like Unqualified, at least for the time being I think it will remain on my shelves with my other keepers. Although her counsel is indeed questionable at times, it’s hard to deny how much I relate to Anna Faris and agreed with a good handful of the statements she makes in the book. And instead of doing all the talking herself, portions of Unqualified found basis from her podcast listeners through "Listener Responses,” as well as discussions and interviews with some people in her life (like Sim Sarna, her podcast partner in crime, and then husband Chris Pratt), and I like that aspect about it. It’s not just Anna retelling information from her perspective; it’s letting those people she has learned from have a voice as well.

I jotted a final note that I think sums up my thoughts on this book pretty well: Unqualified probably could have just remained a podcast. But for those of us not necessarily interested in listening to hours upon hours of content, the book is a good alternative, especially since Anna mentions in the beginning that the book is based on what she learned through two years of the podcast. A lot of Unqualified contained thoughts and experiences I personally could relate to and has happened to me, so, to quote myself “I suppose her book did what she wanted it to do.”

#book #books #read #reading #literature #anna faris #unqualified #unqualified by anna faris #review #reviews #quarantine #quarantine reading #quarantine reads #I finished this book in like... june *facepalm*

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