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#which should not even happen in a healthy relationship but that's how i feel
heavenknowsffs · 11 months
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Sorry for another vent post but here goes
#like i'm not looking for a relationship ok ? but i met this guy and we've been hooking yp#but like he is being all sweet and caring and he is great don't get me wrong#he's like eddie munson i'm not gonna lie#but at the same time he doesn't get my jokes and when i make a sarcastic comment or something funny he always thinks i'm being honest#and then he's too sweet if it makes sense in normal convos? BUT if i am ganuinely distressed (which i am a lot you guys know)#he is just not very emotionally intelligent 😬 and like it's all fun and wtv but i feel like he might like me more than i like him#and i called him babe once bc i had this girl friend who calls everyone babe and i spent like 3 days with her so i called him that#and now he always calls me babe and i'm like 😐 pls stop but i can't tell him to stop bc it will seem rude#and yeah my friends that know him are like he's such a cool guy and so sweet and everything and it looks like we're dating#but like we're not man we're not i met him a few weeks ago#anyway i think in reality i'm trying to find bad things about him just so i can justify not liking him and sabotage the whole thing bc +#+ i'm too afraid lmao#i think i'm emotionally unavailable and don't want a relationship or feel ready for it at all#i feel like i'm starting that age most ppl have at 18/19 of exploring and just vibing except i should have gone through that then#but i never got the change bc of abusive relationships and being at home and not having freedom to just exist#and now i do and i feel like if i start dating someone i'll lose my freedom again#which should not even happen in a healthy relationship but that's how i feel#maybe will talk about this to my therapist see what he says#i think i know what he will say like 'you're just afraid don't think about it too much tell him how you feel'#and i HAVE told him generally how i feel and that i don't want to move mad about it and he was like 'no were just getting to know eachother
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melto · 3 months
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something just like snapped in the back of my head like i Need to go like curl up in my room for like 5 days and play video games and not speak to like anyone
#^ guy who is not out of a depressive ep like he thought he sorta was#dont even like particularly feel the old urge of the anxiety/need to hurt my relationships like i used to..i just feel like shit.#short list of people i think i could handle like really speaking to rn but ultimately. i just want to be somewhere safe and easy#even if that feeling is like making me feel sorta suicidal still.#just dont have it in me to like figure out how to act normal right now. something i have to do around most people and nearly everyone#i intreact with irl right now#not healthy. Ofc naturally i know this. and i can push through it. im just not excited about it.#the exhaustion to like contain myself is greater than my lonliness even though that is rather large#and i would like to get this out of my system before like. the semester starts next week. which i know i cant like control but whatever#this is all sooooo stupid. i need to be alone but i need compaionship of someone i trust.#it feels like there is glue in my mouth and i can barely speak to people im not close with bc of how exhausted and anxious i am#man. thearpy is like. going to really . idk. probably not help my mood. bc it has been hard for me to word what has been happening to me#and im always so scared of saying something that will get me hosptizaled again. Even when it shouldnt. bc im not going to do anything.#but i am scared and tired simply. and while so much has gotten better and ive gotten so much better there are some things that i just.#cant seem to figure out how to fix or ask for help. whatever. Guy who is stupid and helpless and will have to just get over it at some poin#sry i just feel like shit. i should probably just eat something i havent been eating much. and then i will probably feel a bit better#news with isaac
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pshcomforts · 3 months
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➳ mad | psh.
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non!idolsunghoon x fem!reader
“we’re fighting this war, baby, when both of us are losing”
synopsis: in which, you and sunghoon have an argument that leads to you guys distancing for a bit.
warnings/content: angst to fluff. written in third pov. hoon’s a little possessive.. and he gets drunk later. mentions of alcohol. reader and hoon are both petty and stubborn. not proofread (i’m sorry if it’s bad). cursing! i think that’s it but lmk!
comments, likes, and reposts are appreciated :)
word count: 5.0k
a/n: fictional characters — dae (jungwon’s partner), min-su (heeseung’s partner), and ji-woo (jake’s partner).
༘˚⋆𐙚。masterlist⋆.✧˚
current song playing: mad by neyo
↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺
1:36 ──────|───────────── -2:37
keys aggressively landed on the floor as sunghoon dropped it in rage.
“you’re really making a big deal out of this?”
y/n rolled her eyes in annoyance. “yeah, i am because what you did was uncalled for.” she folded her arms, almost in disbelief of how he was acting.
“i pushed him off of you, y/n. you should honestly be thanking me.”
her brows scrunched together — “he’s my friend sunghoon. he wasn’t even close to me.”
he let a scoff slip by his lips in a moment of doubt. “yeah, he sure seemed like it with how close his body was pressing up against you.”
she squinted her eyes at his words. “okay lose the fucking attitude because i’m not having it.” he sent a glare at the girl, close to burning holes as he began to grow irritated.
“you don’t know the intentions of guys y/n.”
“he has a girlfriend, sunghoon!”
hoon poked his tongue out through his cheek as he rolled his eyes — face becoming stern within each second.
“guys still cheat on their girlfriends.”
y/n scoffed, shaking her head as her heart grew heavy. “his girlfriend is my cousin, hoon.” she stopped to think carefully with her words — “look, i love you okay? and as much as i enjoy seeing you jealous, it’s not a healthy trait for you to keep doing this.”
“keep doing what?” he gritted with his clenched jaw.
“hoon…”
he shook his head and turned his back against her. “fine, you want me to not protect you anymore? got it. done. i’ll act like we’re not even in a relationship if that’s what you want.”
✩ ‘now as i’m yelling over her’ ✩
y/n’s heart shattered within seconds before letting the irking feel wash over. “you’re really gonna be fucking petty about this?”
“if that’s what you want,” he bluntly said with shrugging shoulders. his back still faced her as he couldn’t have it in himself to look at her.
“i can’t believe you’re acting so stubborn right now.”
“he was close to you, how do you expect me to not act the way i am?” his jaw tensed when he thought back to the vision of seeing y/n and her guy friend near each other.
“we’ve been friends for a long time sunghoon, and he wasn’t even as close as you thought he was.” she narrowed her eyes at his back, crossing her arms as the events from tonight started to drain her.
“he’s probably just waiting for the perfect moment to swoop in and catch you.” hoon mumbled with an obvious scoff.
silence easily took the room as y/n stayed quiet, not wanting to give a response for a second.
“are you serious? like, are you actually really fucking acting like this right now?”
✩ ‘she yelling over me’ ✩
sunghoon finally faced her, his gaze darkened as his eyes darted at her. he was upset, and so was she.
“how else do you want me to act?” he spoke, voice almost absent in the moment as his throat needed to be cleared.
she rolled her eyes, swiping her tongue through her teeth as she spat — “you’re really unbelievable.”
“yeah i bet you’ll quote that to him soon when you tell him what happened.”
✩ ‘all that that means is neither of us is listening’ ✩
her eyes were filled with betrayal. and after betrayal, came pettiness. the doubt that was taking over their relationship increased as soon as the words left his mouth.
✩ ‘but we won’t let it go for nothing’ ✩
“fine, you want me to go tell him? i will.” her hands swiftly reached for her jacket she threw off when she got home, shoes already intact as her feet quickened for the door. the burdened girl felt a sudden tug on her arm, knowing that her boyfriend was trying to pull her back.
“don’t leave.”
“talk to me when you’re no longer feeling petty. i don’t want to hear your stupid comments right now,” she spat out — pulling her arm back with a cold shoulder.
“it’s dark and it’s unsafe, it’s better if you stay here y/n.”
“honestly, hoon? i don’t want to be under the same roof as you right now.” the girl put on the last piece of her warm clothing and left. she was tired and she wanted to sleep but not when her boyfriend was being unreasonable.
sunghoon fucked up. he was a naturally possessive guy with his girl but he took it too far this time, and he knew that.
he groaned out a heavy sigh, taking his seat on the couch as he finally processed the fact that they’d just gone through an argument.
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
hours passed and y/n was still gone.
truth be told, she never went to her male friend’s place. of course not. they were close, but she wouldn’t dare to do that to sunghoon — no matter how pissed she was at him.
so instead, she slept over at ji-woo’s. more specifically, ji-woo’s and jake’s.
“you sure everything’s okay with you and sunghoon??” her friend questioned with a concerned look.
y/n’s lips pushed together into a firm line, showing that she was a little unsure about the answer herself. “i don’t know honestly… i can’t tell who’s in the right this time..” her head drooped down in guilt as she replayed the cruel words she said to him before leaving.
“it’s not your fault y/n, he was a little out of bounds this time but you guys should still talk it out.”
“yeah, it always works for my girl and i.” jake chimed in, flinging his arm around ji-woo.
y/n’s face scrunched in disgust — “ew.. well, you know that sunghoon’s pretty stubborn..” her eyes tilted up to look at her boyfriend’s best friend who was dating her friend. he let a gentle smile play on his lips as he only nodded in agreement.
“you are too, y/n…” ji-woo added on, giving slow rubs on her boyfriend’s hand.
“you’re not making the situation any better but thanks.. bitch.” she rolled her eyes before shaking her head, earning a gasp and a laugh from the couple in unison.
“i’m sure you guys will work it out soon,” the dimpled girl said, giving a light kiss on her boyfriend’s cheek afterward.
“ew you guys make me want to be single..” y/n replied, face still scrunched in disgust.
jake awkwardly laughed, holding onto his girlfriend as he heard her yell — “shut up! just go to sleep!”
the couple returned to their bedroom, leaving y/n behind before the loud voice of jake boomed out, “and check your phone y/n! sunghoon’s been blowing up mine so i’m sure he is for you too!”
the girl raised her brows, turning her head to her phone on do not disturb. she clicked the screen and found the device to be flooded with texts from various group chats, and him.
hoonie 🤍:
You okay?
Did you really go to his place?
Oh I just saw you’re with Ji-Woo and Jake. Did you get there safe?
I’m sorry for taking it too far
Please come home 🫂🫂
Good night gorgeous, I miss you ❤️‍🩹
y/n grumbled out a groan, debating on whether to text him back or leave him on read. before she could decide, she received a text from her friend’s group chat.
jungwon’s bae 🩶:
YOU BETTER TEXT HIM Y/N!
JI-WOO MAKE SURE SHE TEXTS HIM
hoon’s gf <3:
and what if i just leave him on read!
jungwon’s bae 🩶:
BITCH
He keeps blowing up Jungwon’s phone
Tell him to stop!
hee’s fav 🤍:
he’s fucking blowing up heeseung’s too
hoon’s gf <3:
and you guys are too with mine!
hoon and i are.. fine…
jungwon’s bae 🩶:
BITCH
Omg stop lying!
Where’s Ji-Woo???
hoon’s gf <3:
HAHAHA
she’s with jake so she’s most likely asleep!
as should all of us so good night losers!
y/n quickly shut her phone before she could get a response from them. she sighed in defeat, truthfully wishing she was in sunghoon’s arms as she remembered the fact that ji-woo and jake were most likely cuddling in the next room over.
‘i miss you’ she thought to herself, giving a soft pout as she reminisced when he’d be clingy and not want to let go through the night.
she gave another sigh as she picked up her phone, ignoring the texts received from the recent group chat as she responded back to sunghoon.
hoon’s gf <3:
i’m okay
we’ll talk soon, night
hoonie 🤍:
I miss you with me
y/n rolled her eyes as a grin started to show on her face without even realizing it. “whatever..” she mumbled to herself, not even giving a reply as she felt her heart thump out of her chest.
as the thoughts of her boyfriend lingered in her mind, so did the argument. they bickered time to time, but usually things worked out in the end. this time though seemed a little more different, but she was sure they’d make it through — just not right now.
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
a few days had gone by since their quarrel, and y/n remained to still be at ji-woo and jake’s place. she couldn’t face sunghoon just yet, knowing that he would most definitely still be petty about it. she would too though, which is why she avoided him for the time being.
bright shades of orange colored the sky as the day cracked on sunset. it was only ji-woo and y/n in the house — jake left to go drink with his friends, which included the rest of the enhypen members.
as the two girls were preparing dinner, a sudden ring call was made from ji-woo’s phone.
“hello??” she yelled out with an eyebrow raise — “jake?”
y/n slowly eased in on listening to the conversation without even realizing as she tried to mind her own business.
“what??? i can’t hear you jake! sunghoon??”
y/n’s head quickly shot up at the name. her boyfriend??
“y/n? oh, she’s right here.” ji-woo nudged the girl’s arm while uttering out, “jake said that sunghoon wants to talk to you.”
“what?”
“apparently you’re not picking up his calls and he’s kind of drunk so.. take it.” she gestured her hands closer to y/n. she sighed before taking the phone.
“hello?”
“y/n, that’s you right??” jake yelled out on the other side of the phone, his words being slightly slurred out.
“yes… why’d you ask for me? is sunghoon okay?” she mumbled, feeling a little uneasy in her tone. a few seconds passed and it was obvious that her friend’s boyfriend didn’t know how to respond back. “jake?? hello?”
she turned to ji-woo who was still focused on dinner, eyes laced with concern as she heard her call out her boyfriend’s name.
“y/n?? is that my gorgeous girl on my friend’s phone?” sunghoon’s voice suddenly slurred out. she heard him give a soft chuckle that sent butterflies to her stomach.
“hoon.. you’re drunk aren’t you?” she said with her brows furrowed.
it was like he could hear how upset she was as he replied, “just.. a little…….. sorry, angel.”
y/n scoffed a little, even though she felt her heart flutter at the nickname. “are you serious sunghoon?” the distress of hearing his drunken state got to her as she exhaled a heavy sigh.
“i’m sorry…”
almost immediately, the phone caught onto the shuffling movements of hands as hoon’s voice could no longer be heard.
“hoon???”
“sorry y/n, he was fighting for the phone to hear your voice. he’s kind of.. uhm sad but if you could just come though, it’d be great…” jake suddenly intervened. y/n caught hold that he took the phone as he gave a chuckle afterward — “oh! and bring my girl too, i think she might need me to drive me home.”
a few other voices mixed in the background that y/n couldn’t quite grasp onto — only for jake to talk in her ear again. “actually, could you bring min-su and dae too?? heeseung and jungwon are begging for them after hearing that you and ji-woo are coming.”
the girl on the end gave an exasperated sigh while rolling her eyes. “you guys just had to drink…” she mumbled before turning to her friend who was still chopping vegetables for dinner. “here ji-woo, ask your boyfriend for the location. we gotta pick them up.”
ji-woo’s face scrunched in confusion — “pick them up??”
“just take the phone and talk to your boyfriend.” she shoved her hand that had the phone to her friend before leaving to put her shoes on.
soon after, the girl in the kitchen hung up the call and approached the front door where y/n stood.
“apparently, they took your and hoon’s car so you have to drive it back when we get them. did you text min-su and dae?”
“just about to,” y/n responded. the two left out the door soon after gathering their necessities.
hoon’s gf <3:
the boys drank and they want us to pick them up
get ready @everyone
i’m with ji-woo so meet us there, min-su and dae!
hee’s fav 🤍:
what the fuck
i knew my hee was drunk
jungwon’s bae 🩶:
Omg!
No wonder Jungwon was drunk texting me
hoon’s gf <3:
LMAO just get ready 😭
minutes passed and the group had finally arrived to the scene of their boyfriends. min-su and dae came with their own cars after realizing the members carpooled in the vehicle owned by sunghoon and y/n, and another by sunoo.
they walked into the restaurant together with head shakes and heavy sighs to the sight of each boy in a drunken state. well, most but niki. the youngest was drinking lemon lime soda while giggling at how each member was acting.
“wow you guys actually came?” he snorted, downing another cup of the refreshing soda.
y/n shook her head in disappointment while searching for her boyfriend. she soon found him laying on jake’s shoulder, his arms clinging onto him as his cheeks flushed with a bright red. out of all of the members, it seemed like he was the most drunk.
jake softly shook the boy while mumbling — “hoon, your girlfriend is here.” the boy blinked his eyes before sitting up straight to see y/n in front of him.
“no, my girlfriend is mad at me. she wouldn’t ever want to come pick me up,” he sulkily said with a pout.
y/n softly smiled as she went closer to him, hands reaching for his hair to catch his attention. she let it run through the silk strands as his face scrunched together.
“oh! who is this pretty girl??” sunghoon mumbled, giving a bright eye smile as he grinned ear to ear.
her lips automatically curled into another smile as her eyes softened with love. “hey hoonie,” she mumbled only for him to hear.
it didn’t help though as he shouted, ��HOONIE? is this really my girlfriend???” he flung his arms around her neck to pull her into a hug. his face plastered on a huge smile as he felt relieved to finally be in her presence again.
the name call that could be heard throughout the restaurant caused their friends to turn heads.
“uhm ew!” min-su yelled out as she held onto a stumbling and blushing heeseung.
“they’re making up, baby! leave them alone,” her boyfriend retracted back to her, leaving quiet giggles in the air as she tried to calm his asian glow down.
“they’re finally talking again,” jungwon chuckled with a head shake. “that’s a good thing huh babe?” he comforted his head closer to dae’s neck as he remained to be smiling.
“just keep resting wonie,” dae mumbled while petting his hair.
the drunken boy returned the hair pets as his hand went to dae’s curly hair, messily fluffing it as he beamed a smile. his dimples went on display while the younger male started to giggle from his act. he was more clingy than usual with the alcohol in his system but his sober boyfriend didn’t mind.
jake and ji-woo laughed together as his hands clung onto hers, forcefully intertwining as he planned to not let go of hers. the boy was drunk, he just wanted to be in his girlfriend’s arms.
“he was talking about you all night.” niki, the most sober one, snorted as he took a bite of his food. “seemed like he needed this more than any of us.”
y/n turned her head to niki — “did he really?”
“yeah, he was stressed about the fact that you guys fought.“
“you guys should really make up. i cant afford to drink alcohol every week.” jay retorted with a smile afterward.
the girl shook her head before responding — “well we’re here now so we’ll be taking our leave.” she softly patted her boyfriend’s arm, only to earn a head shake on her shoulders.
“let’s just stay here..” sunghoon beamed with a sloppy grin on his face.
y/n rolled her eyes — “okay we’re definitely going.”
“us too. come on, baby.” said min-su who was already dragging heeseung up on his feet.
the four couples stood up, each enhypen member propping themselves up on their partner as they felt the ground to be unsteady.
“will you guys be okay driving home?” y/n asked with her brows knitted together.
“us? yeah for sure, niki didn’t drink so he can drive us home.” sunoo responded while being slightly slurred with his words.
“you sure niki??”
“we’ll be fine, i’m a good driver.” niki said, giving a laughing scoff afterward.
y/n rolled her eyes before nodding her head. “okay fine, just.. drive safe please.”
the group sectioned themselves off — the couples going off in their own cars as the remaining three went in sunoo’s car with niki being their designated driver.
“you guys will be fine right??” y/n asked to her friends.
the three nodded in response. “of course we will, jungwon’s the drunk one, not me!” dae defended with a smile towards his boyfriend.
“hey!” won yelled.
his boyfriend shrieked out a laugh at his reaction. “i’m joking! i’m joking!”
“okay.. we’re leaving.” min-su hurriedly said with a disgusted expression.
“drive safe!” ji-woo shouted to the couple. “you guys be safe too!” she pointed at y/n and dae.
the two nodded before returning to their cars.
“let’s go home, sunghoon.” y/n softly murmured to him.
“don’t you mean hoonie???” he loudly questioned, eyes still squeezing shut with his shit eating grin.
she scoffed in a playful sense as she nudged his head. “shut up and close your eyes..,”
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
throughout the car ride, sunghoon honestly fell asleep while she drove. she didn’t mind it though. talking to him while he was in a drunken state wasn’t ideal so she kept quiet.
when the two had finally arrived home, his arm clung around her neck to stable himself. the apartment was quiet, almost empty as the burdened presence of her filled every cracks of each room.
“god, you’re really heavy.” y/n grumbled with a groan.
sunghoon let out quiet words that she couldn’t comprehend, so she excused it as they finally arrived to the bedroom.
she pushed herself off of him so he could forward into the cushioned bed. “finally,” she groaned out, back area in pain from his tall body towering over hers.
the bed was neatly done. her side of the bed was obviously untouched as she hadn’t been home in days. with her absence, hoon couldn’t have it in himself to take up the remaining space that was always for his girlfriend.
when his body finally hit the bed, he whined out a groan that emphasized how tired he was from the alcohol.
“good night hoonie..,” she softly mumbled, feeling her heart already give in just at the sight of him. she gave faint rubs on his hand as she admired how sleepy he looked.
everything from his facial features had her heart thrilled with a warming feeling to the gut. his hair was messily laid out, and his eyes were gently resting so easily. his clothes were softly scrunched and ruffled, baggy almost with how he landed onto the mattress.
after admiring how gorgeous he looked, y/n decided it was time to let the boy sleep — so she turned away from him, prepared to take leave from the room. she was honestly still mad at him, and wanted him to least be sober when they finally met after their argument. but he wasn’t, so she thought it best for her to spend the remaining night on the couch.
as she reached out for the door, she felt a sudden pulse of his hand kick in as it wrapped around her wrist. the tug shocked her.
the girl opened her mouth to speak but sunghoon had beat her to it — “don’t go.” he refused to let her leave as his grip became stronger. he was scared.
✩ ‘girl i don’t wanna go to bed (mad at you)’ ✩
her face contorted into confusion. “i thought you were asleep?”
“please don’t go,” he mumbled — ignoring her words as his brows scrunched together. “i want you here with me.”
✩ ‘and i don’t want you to go to bed (mad at me)’ ✩
y/n pressed her lips to form a line as she said, “go to sleep hoon.” she tugged her hand back and he let her, most likely from being a little too drunk to do anything else.
she wanted to stay with him and be in his warming arms, but they were still going through an argument. so she turned off the light and situated herself on the couch soon after.
it wasn’t comfortable, but at least she was home.
after a few more minutes of being on the phone, the girl drifted herself off to sleep. her back faced the open side of the couch as she knocked out.
when hours passed, a pair of arms had suddenly wrapped around her body and embraced her into a back hug. it was sunghoon. he groaned out a sigh of relief as he let his arms cling at the waist.
it had probably been a little past midnight when the male found himself next to an empty space on the bed. he frowned before finding his girlfriend on the couch.
his chin softly laid on top of her head from his height. the cold hands that belonged to him most definitely awoken her when she grumbled out a confused whine.
“hoon..?” her hand reached out to the back of her, finding its place in his hair as he gave a faint chuckle in the silence.
“told you not to go,” he mumbled next to her ear, sending shivers down her spine as his arms pulled her closer to his embrace.
✩ ‘but baby, can we make up now?’ ✩
“don’t sleep without me, it feels lonely.” his hands soon found its way to her hands, placing it over hers as he squeezed her tighter. “haven’t been able to sleep without you here.”
✩ ‘cause i can’t sleep through the pain’ ✩
his warm hold finally made her feel like she was at peace, like the empty feeling in the apartment simply vanished within the seconds they were together.
sunghoon lifted his head and removed one of his hands to move her hair that sprawled out on the pillow, placing a gentle kiss on her neck afterward. he breathed deeply on it before muzzling his head into her neck. he was home.
“hoon-“
✩ ‘we can fuss, and we can fight’ ✩
“i know you’re still mad at me and that’s okay, but can i just hold you like this? just for tonight? i’ve missed you..,” he whispered against her neck, voice trailing off at his last sentence with how weakened he felt. “will you let me?”
✩ ‘long as everything’s all right between us, before we go to sleep ’ ✩
the girl felt his grip get a little tighter, almost as if he was preparing for her to reject his request, but she didn’t. instead, her hands followed to where his were, which were between her waist and hips.
they overlapped and she rested hers on top of his, closing her fingers so she could reassure him back.
“of course, hold me every night” y/n croaked out.
she couldn’t see it but hoon’s lips were tugging on a smile. he moved a few hair strands out of her face before pushing his face closer to her neck.
she softly laughed at the touch, earning a low chuckle to be heard from him as well.
“that’s my gorgeous girl,” he mumbled in her ear again.
sunghoon let his arms hold onto her tighter as they both began to sleep in the presence of each other.
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
when the afternoon light peeked through their windows, y/n had been the first to awoken from the two as hoon was still knocked out from the alcohol.
the space on the couch was tight with how they slept but she didn’t mind. well, maybe she did a little but it wasn’t a big deal with how much she had missed him.
she had to get up though. it was her daily routine to do a big stretch right after she woke up, and possibly go to the bathroom for number one too. so she did. her body rose up and she just couldn’t help herself to simply admire the boy in front of her eyes.
the pretty boy was sound asleep with his clothes he wore from yesterday’s outing. “so handsome..” she uttered under her breath, eyes being glazed with captivation.
“am i that attractive?” he said as his inner corner of his lips curling.
y/n’s eyes widened with shock. “oh shit i didn’t know you were awake..”
“your staring woke me up.” his eyes fluttered open as he gave a half smile to her, hair messy and out of place.
“sorry.”
“i should be the one saying sorry,” he refuted.
“that’s sweet hoon, but i really gotta pee so please move, you’re blocking the whole sofa.” the man gave a wide chuckle at her words before moving his long legs aside. she rushed out to the bathroom to do her business, returning back to see him sitting up with his thick brows scrunched together.
“you wanna talk now or should we talk later?” y/n awkwardly asked with an eyebrow raise.
sunghoon gave another grin at her words. god, he was smitten for this girl. “let’s talk now because i want to apologize.” before he could continue on, he quickly placed a warm kiss on her forehead when she sat down beside him.
“hoon!”
“i haven’t kissed my girlfriend in days. what do you expect me not to do??” he gave a shrug to his shoulders that had her rolling her eyes.
“stop distracting me!” the girl said with a firm tone, trying to sound composed. her cheeks betrayed her though as they brought a warm color.
“do i distract you?”
“sunghoon- are we gonna talk or do i have to ignore you again?”
“okay okay fine,” he sighed at her words. “i’m sorry y/n. i was jealous and i admit that. he wasn’t close to you, but i just hated the way he couldn’t stop whispering things to you.”
she watched his face start to slightly frown at the remembrance of that night, and she only laughed at it.
“it was wrong for me to say all of that when we were arguing and i wish i didn’t. i’ll always protect you,” he added on. “i just.. can’t help it. i always get the protective urge to keep you safe.”
his head was drooped low in shame, and it caused y/n to cup his cheeks for him to face her. “you’re so cute hoon.” she placed a quick peck on the lips before she continued, “i know you’re a possessive guy and i’m okay with that. there are just certain times where it gets taken too far and it feels like it won’t impact well on our relationship.”
“i know.. but-“
“look, i love it when you’re jealous. it’s funny and hot at the same time, but you seriously have nothing to worry about. my friend was just whispering into my ear because it was loud and he was trying to tell me what he was gonna get for my cousin’s birthday.”
sunghoon’s lips formed into duck shaped lips as he quietly whispered, “oh..”
“you’re adorable, loser. i’m sorry too, i know you’re just being protective.” she grinned ear to ear as she planted another soft kiss onto his lips. as she prepared to pull away, she felt his hands on the back of her neck pull her in again.
his lips curled into a smile as she became slightly shocked with the sudden tug from him. hoon placed his hand on her chin, smiling even more as she finally got the chance to pull away with how distracted he got.
“god hoon!” a loud smack was sent to the arms.
“i missed being with my girlfriend, can’t i just kiss her!”
“geez we don’t talk for days and you become this clingy,” y/n said with an eye roll.
sunghoon gave a light grin as he rubbed his bruised arm. “only for you,” he mumbled with an eye smile.
“whatever.. let’s just go get lunch.” she stood from the couch and grabbed her boyfriend’s hands.
“what if i just want to stay home all day with you?”
“i’d love that but you drank a lot, so you need to eat something.”
a few more push and pull from the arms were made until sunghoon finally gave in.
the two went out for lunch and talked about what they did in their days apart. they were okay, and better than ever after getting through an argument. nothing could ever separate the two from each other.
★・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・★
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bangficsx · 2 months
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PEACE OF HEART
pair : Yoongi x reader (f.) word count : 6.7k+ genre : arrange marriage (a healthy type), they're just exploring married life...., smut, fluff
warnings : depression, anxiety, fingering, orgasms, protected intercourse, dirty thoughts, (tell me if there's anything else)
As the plane finally takes off after a delay of more than an hour, Yoongi sighs in relief. He looks at you, who sits beside him, his beautiful wife. Everytime he looks at you he can't stop appreciating how beautiful you are.
You smile at him a bit then take your book out from your bag. Yoongi watches you trying hard to ignore his presence and focus on the ink on paper.
He wants to talk to you and thinks of different ways for how to initiate a conversation with you without disturbing. At last he decides on one and executes it. Coughs loudly and grabs your attention. You keep your book down and pass him the water bottle. He thanks you and you rub his back gently.
"You alright?" You ask and he nods.
"I downloaded that movie you were talking about" he says looking at you.
"Oh.. past lives?" You ask and he nods.
"Should I put it on?" He asks.
"Can I read for like just five minutes more? I'm at a very crucial part of the story..." you ask picking your book up again, unable to resist the urge to know what happens next.
"Sure" Yoongi says trying to read what you were reading. He really did want to read the same books as you and the ones you love and get to know you better.
You and Yoongi got married three days ago.
You both had known each other for three years now. You both were introduced to each other by your parents, talked often through texts. And soon realised you both weren't seeing anyone so you gave it a shot and went out on a date.
Your sister accidentally revealed the secret to your parents and they kept bugging you for two years to get married. After much deliberation and discussion, you both realised that you did like each other, your visions and goals aligned and hence, the possibility of a successful marriage seemed quite appealing.
You both weren't very dating oriented people, didn't like to fuck around or have relationships which would have no future. Instead you both had an unconventional idea of it all, that you'd meet someone like-minded, take things from there. Even marriage wasn't something you had dreamt a lot about. Although it did feel nice to walk down the aisle, and when you look in his eyes you have a feeling you are with the right person.
And when he looks at you, you know that he's falling for you and you... you have already fallen for him for a long time now.
There's a trust that you have on him, a bond of security which you know he won't violate. You both gave the honeymoon a chance to bring you two closer.
You finally opened up your mind after many pep talks by your sister who is married with two kids and trying for another, and firmly decided that you will not try to close yourself around him and try to be secretive.
Your sister got married with a man she'd known for only a year yet she was living a peaceful, mostly happy life with him.
You'd decided if things happen you won't try to unnecessarily resist and let them just flow.
You notice how he's trying to keep his hand in a position where it can lead to you touching his. To make things a little bit easier, you keep it on the center handrest between your two seats. After a minute, his hand rests beside yours. His elbow rubs on yours. He touches your hand with his pinky finger. Slowly his hand inches farther and covers yours completely.
You struggle to fight from blushing too hard, it only gets harder with the butterflies that flutter inside your tummy.
You intertwine your fingers with his. He audibly giggles for a second in excitement but then he tries to suppress it and looks here and there.
"Yoongi" you call him. "Look at me" you ask and he slowly turns his face towards you.
"Are you happy? If anything bothers you... we can talk" he says then brings his other hand towards your face and tucks your hair behind your ear. Finds that the earrings he had gifted you adorn your earlobes.
It was awkward on your wedding night. Your sister brought you two to your room before most people left and he was quite drunk, you were too so you two just slept. Him on the floor with a blanket laid beneath him and you on the bed. You would've argued about the arrangement but were too tired and drunk to do.
"No Yoon this is nice... really nice" you let him know your thoughts, no false pretensions in front of him.
He smiles before he picks your tangled fingers up and kisses your knuckles.
"I agree" he tells you with a smile.
"Wanna put on the film now?" You question and he brings the iPad out from his backpack. You both put on your headphones and play the movie.
The film breaks you, yet heals you in a way. You feel like if you were meant to find Yoongi too, you just feel that way about him that you two were meant to be. You were bound to somehow end up with him. In your eyes he was your perfect guy, your Mr. Right. Maybe he did have his flaws but you knew he was more than just his flaws.
You both mustn't have been in crazy kind of love yet you two knew that you were if not perfect but right for each other. It was in each other that you two finally found someone who understood.
At the end of the movie you received your food package. He ate your pickle for you, you eat his salad for him and that's how you know you two are perfect for each other.
When you wake from your nap, head cozily rested on Yoongi's shoulder you find that you were about to reach your destination in an hour.
You let Yoongi sleep for a little more as he was still in deep slumber. Get the chance to catch up with your reading again.
He likes how when he opens his eyes, the face he looks at is yours. The scent he sniffs beside him is yours.
"We're going to reach soon. You wanna freshen up?" You tell him. He looks around, there was still some time left to go to the restroom and he quickly left.
He comes back in a few minutes and you both watch the landscape outside as the plane starts to go downwards and the islands come in your sight.
"I'm so excited to spend the next five days here" he says, "with you" he quickly adds.
"Me too" you tell him touching his cheek.
The driver takes you both to your hotel after you pick up your luggage. The hotel was a bit far from the sea but it had a beautiful view from the room you both were given. It was quiet and surrounded by nature and small houses as opposed to the city view with skyscrapers that you two were used to.
The apartment that you two had shifted in gave a full view of the city from it's glass pane walls. Your living room especially and the way you had arranged your sofa set gave you the chance to relax while watching the world go on.
You wanted to not think about work, or home right now and allow yourself to completely immerse in the calmness of the island you were currently on.
You watch Yoongi help the housekeeper bring in your luggage and keeps it near the bed. He closes the door behind you then sits on the bed.
"You need anything?" He asks as he wipes off the sweat from his face.
"Nah I'm good. You?" You ask him instead. If he can take care of your needs, you can take care of his too.
"I'm so fucking tired... it wasn't that long a flight... my thirties are hitting me hard I guess..." he chuckles and you do too.
"We need to get a proper meal and then you'll be good. I'm sure" you say, he giggles.
"You wanna take a nap or go out?" He asks. He pulls his jeans down without any second thought. You know that he feels comfortable around you, you're his wife and he has no shame in front of you. Still you look away even though he's not fully naked.
He wears more comfy trousers and a matching t-shirt with it.
"Let's go out. We can always sleep later" you say. You open your shared suitcase and take a dress out from it. You had it all planned out which dress to wear on which day and the whole itinerary was already decided too.
Yoongi waits for you when you change in the bathroom. You put on some lotion on your hands and some lipbalm too... just in case things happen...
You somehow get how Yoongi feels towards you when you look in his eyes. His intentions are pretty straightforward. He does have expectations out of your marriage. He wants companionship and intimacy that should be present in a marriage.
You feel grateful for the full body treatment that your sister gifted you which included a full body wax, polishing and what not. Although you know Yoongi would love you no matter what.
It's not that you don't have the same expectations out of him. You aren't as blunt as him in your approach towards him, you get shy and hesitate a bit.
You love him.
He's your brightest star on a new moon night. He's your sunshine that appears after dark, gloomy, cloudy days which don't seem to go away.
You never knew if you were ever going to find love. If there was someone who would like you, understand you and somebody in whom you would find the qualities you looked for in a man. Yoongi was that guy for you.
He doesn't even knows how he's helping you heal your heart. Seven years ago you were in a situationship which lasted too long and left you so broken you didn't have it in yourself to look for love again.
And then your path crossed with Yoongi's. And now you both walked hand in hand on the same path together.
You walk closely with Yoongi when a guy working with the hotel tells you both to check the pool out. They had just completed cleaning it and with the current weather it would be a fun experience to hang out there.
He takes you towards the pool, hand in hand you like being like this him. With every passing second you just feel yourself getting closer to him.
But when you two reach there you look at yourself and then look around. Most people present were in swimsuits and you two were covered with t-shirts and jeans.
"It's too tempting... everyone seems to be having so much fun" he says with a hand on his waist as he looks around at couples and friends playing around in the water. Another excuse to just get closer to you.
"There are changing rooms over there. Should I just grab a pair of clothes from the room?" You ask him. Have always liked water too much to be able to resist.
"You wait here I'll go..." he quickly turns around.
"Hey no... you said you were tired. Just tell me what you need" you insist and he gives in.
"Blue shorts. Towel." He tells you and you smile at him before leaving with the key card.
Rummaging through the luggage you find his towel but not the shorts. You look under the shirts but the only thing you find is two boxes of condoms and a bottle of lubricant. It makes you gasp and smirk at the same time. He came prepared.
The topic of contraception had once come up between the two of you not about what you would personally use but more so as how it's usually considered a woman's duty than a mutual concern. And how most forms of hormonal birth control have side effects and how you once developed a nasty rash after taking the pill to delay your period for your sister's wedding.
The topic of kids had been discussed well in advance. You both wanted kids but maybe after some time, right now you had to focus on more important things.
You just keep the things where they were placed before and try to find the shorts that you found in between the shirts. You take a bralette and a pair of shorts for yourself. Wonder if Yoongi will like it, you're kinda sure that most of the men and their minds work the same.
You find Yoongi sitting on a bench waiting for you to come. He walks upto you when he sees you.
You both change when you step out his gaze does change but you see how he's trying to be respectful.
He goes inside the pool first then holds your hand and helps you come in although you insist you're fine.
"You know I learnt how to swim when I was like 4 so you needn't worry about me" you assure him and he smiles.
You show him that you do remember what you learnt by swimming around. He joins you and you both go to another corner and come back.
You talk about the weather and the food and some silly memories from your swimming lessons and have a good laugh.
You look around trying to capture everything with your eyes, remember it all. Your eyes see something disgusting and you immediately turn towards him and hold his arm.
"Hey... what happened" he gets flustered at your sudden change of expression.
"That man in the red boxers... he just touched himself looking at me, like he was smiling at me in such a creepy way... god" you sigh trying to get the sight out of your head.
"I'm gonna fucking break all of his teeth" Yoongi tries to walk upto the man and confront him but you stop him.
"We're in a foreign country I don't want you to get in trouble because of me... our honeymoon's just started..." you hold him while he fumes with anger. 
"I don't care.." he says.
"Yoongi... kiss me" you say.
"What?" He's taken aback by your request.
"Nobody will dare look at me then" before you complete speaking his lips are on yours.
Although it happened all of a sudden yet you feel the urge to deepen it. His hold on you grows tighter. You keep a hand on his cheek.
He smiles in between the kiss, you do too. It wasn't exactly your first kiss, you had kissed him once a couple years ago after a really romantic date when he dropped you off near your house.
This felt different. Now you actually have feelings for him, stronger than before. And the way he's kissing you, it tells you he has too.
"We can't get out of the pool without doing this..." you get away from him and splash water at him.
He pretends to be angry which makes you back off but he splashes water at you too, giggling. You try to get away but he's quick to catch you.
Your back hits his chest when he holds you from behind. His bare chest.
"You can't run away anymore" he whispers in your ear. Your stomach growls audibly.
"Let's get out and grab something to eat" you know you can't deny now that he knows you're hungry.
When you two eat, he holds your hand when you keep it on the table. Your legs touch under the table. You crave to touch him more but you are very aware of where you are sitting.
"Yoongi..." you take his name in a gentle tone.
"Hmm?" He hums in response while chewing.
"Do you think it's possible to love someone without knowing everything about them?" You ask, presenting your dilemma to him.
"Maybe. And we can't really know anyone like 100%. There's always some parts unknown to us. We can only know what they tell us and trust them that they're telling us the truth. I don't think it's necessary..." he tells you. You see the glint of hope in his eyes wondering if it's him that you love.
He takes your doubts away with his words. You were skeptical if what you thought was right. Maybe you didn't know everything about him but maybe you knew just enough to be able to love him. You wonder if he loves you too.
When he's not looking at his food mostly his eyes stay focused on you. He's absolutely mesmerised with you.
It was about to be time for the sun to set. You decide to go to the beach and witness it together, the meeting of the sun and the sea over the horizon.
It makes you giddy how he refuses to walk without your hand in his. A simple act yet it makes you feel so close to him.
You walk barefeet with him along the shore. The sea washes your feet again and again. Yoongi keeps his arm draped over your shoulders while you keep yours on his back. People look at you and smile. Old people reminisce the days of their lost youth. Young people envy how you two are so undeniably, deeply in love. People want to be in the place you're in.
As the sun comes down to meet the sea, so do Yoongi's lips to meet yours. You smile as he kisses you. You were at a fairly empty and quiet spot, just the two of you.
He makes you sit down and wraps his arm around your shoulder, you rest your head on his chest as you two watch the most beautiful sunset, more beautiful with your life partner by your side.
You pick his hand, the one resting on his knee. You caress his knuckles. Even his hands are a work of art. And you get to hold them.
You look up at him as he watches the sunset then looks at you and grins. You press your lips near his and whisper "I love you Yoongi"
His eyes sparkle when you tell him those words. The words you'd been contemplating about for so long and finally had the confidence and courage to tell him.
He touches his lips on your forehead and says the same thing. "I love you too baby" he tells you. You feel goosebumps run in your body, your heart rate speeds up, you have the widest smile on your lips. It feels surreal to you yet feels like you've known it for so long.
His hand rests really close to your ass as you two walk back to your room and you oddly find it familiar. It helps that you have trust in him, that's just the way you are, you don't get to a physical level with anyone you can't trust with your life. He is the one. The one you love, you trust, you respect. Your husband.
When you reach the room, you can sense the impatience in him as much as it exists in you. He quickly puts in the card and you are quicker to get inside and lock the door behind you.
You remove your sandals and he follows you removing his shoes. He walks towards the mini fridge under the television. He takes a bottle of whiskey out.
"Want this?" He shoots the question towards you.
"Yep" you purse your lips.
You know he's just hesitant to make the first move. He's just worried if you would think he's desperate or impatient. He wants you to be ready as you both weren't physically intimate in anyway before.
Although you know it doesn't has to necessarily be that way, people have sex with people they might've met not even two hours ago. It just doesn't seems to work that way for you. But now that you know him, you have feelings for him a part of you wants it. To be intimate with him, close with him, have a connection with him which you've never had with anyone else nor do you want to have with anybody other than him.
In this moment, its just him that occupies your mind. You don't worry about your problems, your endless work, your upcoming exam for a promotion at work.
Most of the times you're overwhelmed with unnecessary worries and what ifs. What if your marriage doesn't works out, what if your husband isn't happy with you, what if you lose your job suddenly, what if you become prey of some financial scam, what if your husband loses his job, what if you can't have a kid, what if even if you have one you can't be a good mother or be unable to provide them the best education and opportunities. And what not. The list is endless.
But with Yoongi by your side, you feel a little bit of that pressure being lifted off from your shoulders. You know together you'll both figure it all out somehow.
You sit on the edge of the bed where Yoongi brings you the glass of alcohol and sits beside you. You sit closer to him and run your hands through his hair.
He kisses you and slowly slides his tongue in, you both taste like whiskey. You like the way he tastes, the way he feels, the way he smells, his musty cologne, his shiny hair.
You both can't resist things from heating up. His hand slides down your back and rests on your hips before he pushes you closer towards himself. Your thumb runs on his neck. You feel how his breaths get heavy, so do yours. You're panting as you're getting aroused.
Eventually you straddle him. He keeps pulling you closer no matter how much you are. But then he pulls away...
"Hey..." you look at him with a grave look. "If you don't want me to do any thing you can tell me. Don't feel like you're obligated to me because I'm your husband. I know how your mind works sometimes..." he caresses your hair while he speaks.
"Yoongi I told you what I feel... my love is not like platonic. This is kinda natural don't you think..."
"I just want to be your safe place. I want to be where you find peace. You give me that and I wanna give you that too. Look there were many things that led me to my decision of marrying you. When I'm with you... I've never felt this way before... I will love you till the end of this life but I want you to love yourself equally... growing up i saw my mother and aunts losing themselves in devotion to their husband and families. I don't want that for you... it's natural to have some expectations. But I'll never expect you to put me before yourself." You focus on him, your whole attention placed on him. You respect the way he gives importance to communication.
"Give yourself an hour each day. I'll give myself time too. Even if we have just an hour, let's just divide it and give half to ourselves and half to each other." You nod smiling at him.
"Thank you for choosing me Yoongi. I know that you had even better prospects. I wasn't your parent's first choice for you. But I'm glad that I found you and that I chose you..." you put kisses on his face. "I love you" You tell him before kissing him.
You pull apart for a few seconds just to say, "And I want it... like all of it"
"What do you mean?" He asks.
"You know what I mean" you say.
"Okay" he gives your ass a little squeeze pulling you towards himself to let you know how fucking hard he is. You're surprised too by how aroused you'd made him without even doing anything.
"Just a little thing I should let you know.. umm" you hesitate a bit. He looks at you concerned.
"This is my first time" you bite your lower lip. You have no idea what he must think, virginity at your age wasn't exactly usual.
"Okay" he says. "I'll keep that in mind. We can take it slow and easy. Don't worry" you smile at him before you cover his face with kisses. He giggles.
He pulls the strap down from your shoulders as he plants kisses on your neck. You know with the way he's sucking, he's gonna leave marks. You don't mind it. The matching rings on your fingers are enough to indicate who has done that to you.
You feel his hard on pressing against your thigh and grind on it a little as he goes down kissing your cleavage.
You'd been skeptical about how you would feel in this moment but now you know it isn't something you'd trade with anything else. You love the feeling, the way pleasure builds up inside you, the way wetness pools between your thighs.
You can't control and moan when he cups your breast. You try to find something to hold onto. You want to have direct contact with his skin too.
Hence, you unbutton his shirt. He removes it and gives you access to his bare chest. He tugs on your dress wishing for it to not be there. You part from him to remove it, get rid of your bra too.
He can't control himself when he looks at your bare breasts. He gets you to lie on the bed and cups your breast before wrapping his mouth around it. You moan loudly as his tongue flicks your nipple. His thumb circles on the other.
Your clit throbs igniting an urgent desire in you to touch yourself or be touched there.
Yoongi takes his time with your tits. He palms himself for a second before he grabs both your breasts and rubs your nipples with the thumbs. His mouth alternates in between them both. Has you arching your back and moaning so loud and you still have your underwear on.
It's not long before he pulls his jeans down and comes to the bed just in his boxers which leave you in surprise over how big he is. You just want to pull them down and suck him off. It looks fucking painful for him yet he manages.
"You wanna remove what's left together?" He asks, trying to find every possible way he can keep things easy for you. You nod.
He stands up from his place but his eyes stay on your body. You rub yourself a little from above your panties.
"I used to think we would wait for a couple months before doing this... I was so wrong I can't control how much I want you Yoon... I just can't" you say as you pull your panties down exposing your wet, messy pussy to him. You throw them on the floor, he does the same with his boxers.
You see his cock, hard and absolutely ready to fuck you, be buried inside you. You wonder how it would feel to touch it, have it in your mouth, in your pussy maybe even your ass someday... how it would look spilling, shooting sperm all over you. How gorgeous Yoongi might look as he comes, writhes with pleasure lying underneath you.
He gets the same dirty thoughts about your pussy. Wonders about the scent of it, the taste of it, how it would feel around his cock, how pretty it would look filled with his cock, his sperm, as it orgasms, if it can squirt. How tight, and wet and warm it must be. How quickly he might nut once he's inside it. He feels like he's going to come just by looking at it.
You touch your clit to tease him. He feels a rush of blood in his body as he watches you, your finger slowly stroking your clitoris.
Your moans echo in his ears. What he wouldn't give up to keep hearing them.
He joins you on the bed above you. His mouth meet yours again and this time he's much more passionate. His hand reaches between your thighs.
"Is this okay?" He asks and you hum in response.
He keeps rubbing your clit the way you were doing it.
"Yoongi... faster" you request and he obeys instantly.
"You know.. it might be better if I finger you first..." he hates to interrupt how much pleasure you were in. Still he asks first.
"Do it" you say, already close to an orgasm.
He covers his fingers in your juices before the tips of his fingers reach your entrance. He taps around before he slowly begins to insert his finger inside your cunt.
"And don't you dare to try faking it in front of me... okay?" He says faking an intimating voice.
He tries to find your g-spot after he has given you a few pumps. His fingers stroke against walls but he fails to find the exact spot again and again.
"Help me" he says.
"How?" You ask just to tease him.
"Where does it feels good?" He presses on a spot which makes you feel like you wanna pee and that's how you know he found it. You mostly just do clitoral when you're masturbating so it's mysterious to you too.
"Do you masturbate?" He asks out of nowhere.
"Why do you ask?" You enquire before answering.
"It helps one know their bodies better and what they like" he says.
"I did but mostly just external..." you tell him.
"There?" He asks when you moan and you nod as he presses the rough patch.
You grow wetter and wetter and it gets easier for him to finger you. You see his cock all engorged and leaking precum. So you move your hand down and wrap your hand around his shaft. Circle your thumb on the tip. He pants harder as you continue. His finger moves faster. But you wanna be coming around his cock.
"Yoongi... condom please" you say leaving hold of him and he pulls his fingers out too.
He stands up and walks to the suitcase. You watch his bare, sculpted back as he walks naked around the room, not ignoring his hard cock slapping against his stomach. He takes one box out and brings it to you. Also the bottle of lube.
"I've heard it helps women if they're on top the first time" he says waiting for your response before taking his position.
"Let's try then" you say before you sit up. He lies down beside you and you straddle him with a smirk.
You open the box of condoms and take one out while he keeps massaging your breasts.  You rip the wrapper and hand it to him. You want to try putting it on him but you don't know if you would do it the correct way. And you need it to be used properly as that's your only option of protection right now.
You gently caress his balls while he rolls the condom on his dick. You pick up the lubricant and pour some on your palm.
"Uhh... Yoongi" you ask if you can do it. And he gives you an expression of assurance.
You're both grown ups, married, who cares how many times you fuck and in what ways and at what time. You have no reason to delay if you are both ready.
You spread the liquid all over his length, massaging him. Inside you are a bit worried how long and thick he is and if it'll hurt you too much. But you know that it's Yoongi and he would never mind if you fail to do it the first few times... you could always suck him off and finish in other ways.
"Okay then..." you take a deep breath as you shift to sit above him. You rub your pussy on his dick for a bit but then notice him twitching and the look on his face tells you he's having a hard time controlling himself.
He keeps his hands on your waist and stares at your cunt glisten with juices. He cups you and rubs you before you hold him to slide on him. He holds himself while you watch his cock slowly get inside you.
Both your gazes are stuck at one place. Your bodies connecting. You shift a little and take more of him inside you. He keeps his hands on your breasts, a thumb pressed on your clit to have you distracted from any pain.
You wince as you feel your pussy stretching like you've never been stretched before. His cock throbs inside you, trapped within your tight walls. He's using everything in him to not just fuck you hard. No matter how much he wants to, he would never do that while you're certainly in pain.
"Aah fuck..." you cry out as you take him in completely. It feels good yet it hurts. He's big. He's thick.
"Oh god Yoongi..." you try to move but it hurts to do.
"We can stop." he says.
"Yoongi it'll hurt again... I wanna be done with the pain right now... Once I come I dint think it'd really matter" you tell him. You're not backing off just because of the pain. You know it's just the matter of a first couple times and then you'll both have fun.
You lean down to kiss him.
"Make yourself cum right here" he whispers in a sexy tone.
You sit up and circle your finger on your clit. Yoongi spreads your pussy lips for you. The direct touch on your clit makes you flinch but it also brings an intense sensation to you. You increase the pace how your finger moves.
Yoongi circles your nipples before his thumbs come back to where they were. Your orgasm builds inside you, threatening to take control of your body. And you lose it... you come hard.. your whole body trembles, you start to bounce on his cock riding your high. The way your walls clench around him almost make him come. It was already hard for him regardless.
He moans as your movements don't cease. But the overstimulation doesn't helps.
"Let's switch positions" you tell Yoongi and he's quick in the way he rolls you over and takes his position above you. His cock slides you as you two move, there's a funny sound but you two don't even care.
He pumps himself a couple times before his tip meets your hole again. He pushes himself inside your tight cunt. He slips in easily with how you had loosened after the orgasm and all the lube and wetness help him too.
Luckily, the pain had been replaced with unbearable pleasure. Pleasure of such intensity that makes you want to scream. You feel thankful that it went away so quickly.
His fingers tangle with yours. You hold him tightly before he pulls them away. He kisses your neck, your breasts, your chest.
Yoongi builds a rhythm of how his cock again and again disappears into your pussy. He wanted to kiss it, lick it so badly. Make it come all over his tongue. The thoughts go away as all his attention moves towards his cock which twitches, his balls tighten. His tip keeps rubbing on your g-spot but it's irregular. You know he can't feel it with the condom on.
Another curiosity builds up inside you about how he would feel without a condom. You start to think about when your period is due and figure out the date when you could go raw.
You stroke your clit trying to chase the second orgasm that's building up inside you. You know he doesn't minds, even enjoyed watching you touch yourself.
His pace increases and so does yours. You squeeze his ass as he moans and gasps with how close he is. "Cumming... cumming!" He declares as his thrusts stop and his body shakes. You know he is ejaculating as you feel his cock pulsing, throbbing. You wonder how it would feel to have him come inside you, fill you up.
His orgasm is intense indicated with the way he struggles to move afterwards and remove the condom which he kinda hates at this moment. All he wants to do is hug you, hold you.
As soon as he's done, he quickly lies beside you. You run a hand through his hair, he kisses your neck, your shoulder. His hand reaches between your thighs, even in the daze of his own high he hasn't forgotten that you didn't finish. You spread your legs for him. Spread your labia like he'd done for you.
He lazily rubs you, then puts two of his fingers inside, with how aroused you were your g-spot was easier to find and after a few minutes you orgasm again. Throwing your head back, arching your back, squeezing your breast, holding his hand, moaning his name. You come because of him.
Tell him how much you love him and he tells you he loves you more.
Feeling absolutely fucked out, you two don't even look at the clock and close your eyes, just lying in each other's embrace. You keep a hand over his abdomen.
The only person you ever held like this in bed was your mother until you were five and slept in your own bed.
You feel an unmatched safety in his embrace. You know from now onwards you won't be alone when life hits you hard. On days you feel more depressed, which used to be so hard to get through all alone. He's gonna hold you and you're gonna hold him. And you can tell him anything and he can too.
Adjusting into your new life was made easy with Yoongi's love. He never tried to get away from doing half of the chores.
Soon you both figured out a routine that suited you. One for the weekdays when you both worked. One for the weekends when you both stayed home.
You got to know each other's friends. Got to know each other better than ever.
He knew exactly how to cheer you up when you felt depressed. And you knew all the ways to help him cope with stress.
You two were imperfect in your own ways but together you were better.
You grew to love the life you had each day.
Mornings spent listening to the news and drinking coffee with him, running late than showering together.
You had days of the week divided with tasks, who would cook breakfast, pack lunch, do laundry, cook dinner, do dishes, clean.
You spent weekends messing around with him in the kitchen and cooking and cleaning. And when you two ended up in bed you always somehow lost track of time.
If the days were spent quiet and peacefully, then you and your husband would go wild in the night, confined in your room alone but not alone.
And where three months went away you just don't understand. Scrolling on your phone at pictures of you two from the last quarter, your smile doesn't seems to fade.
You stand in front of your sleeping husband. He doesn't knows how his peace is about to be disrupted. You should've known something would come your way with how smooth sailing your life had been for a while. You had deluded yourself into thinking maybe your fate had changed for better.
How foolish of you to think your life could ever go smoothly.
You sit down beside him and run your fingers through his hair. He complains wishing to not wake early on a weekend.
"Yoongi" you call him and he immediately knows from your tone that it's urgent.
"Come here" he tries to pull you above him thinking it must be something silly you're worried about again. And you know how he loves morning sex and waits for the weekends to be able to do that peacefully.
You hold his hand and keep sitting up. He tucks your hair behind your ear.
"I don't know how you're gonna feel about this..." you take a deep breath and hold his hand, he holds it tighter.
You open your closed fist and he averts his gaze away from your face.
"I'm pregnant Yoongi"
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iicarused · 3 months
Note
aaa i LOVED ur Alastor/Vox x reader post! they were both SPOT ON so in character, plus i appreciate both of their pet names being accurate to their personalities/era!!!
i've seen so many ppl have Al say "baby" or Vox say "dear" and it feels sooo ooc lol
anywho, i have a rq!! could you make a yandere!Vox post where he uses his hypnosis on a male reader? ty for reading!
HHAHA i absolutely HATE that petname “babe/baby” like i cannot i’m sorry😭 i will put something obscure just to avoid it omg but i do genuinely feel like alastor uses petnames more than vox!! also no matter the gender, vox will call you doll.
beware: hypnosis, manipulation, vox just being vox
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no matter what and no matter in which timeline — yandere vox would use his hypnosis on you because that’s his brand. he often excuses it by telling people he’s helping you take away your frequent migraines/headaches, you poor thing!
he uses it when you’re not playing the set role he imagined for you in the public eye. sometimes pulls you aside or into a private place to “help you out” and set you straight. a few kisses and a couple of compliments later, then you’re back to normal.
“thank you, i was starting to get dizzy out there.” “don’t you worry about a thing, doll — we can go straight home after a few more question.”
when you have doubts of your relationship, the moments when you’re thinking about the healthiness and what you actually want, or when you just simply chat with a certain demon that lives right across town — vox will use it again and that comes around more often than you think
though, he does use it for silly stuff like getting ready for interviews or going out in public. to give you a boost of course!! he cares so so much about your health. (just ignore how he gets frustrated with you so often) you’re his husband after all, who wouldn’t take care of their own lover?
hypnosis became such a normal aspect of your relationship, and for most of it you don’t even remember. what you do remember is getting dizzy spells, a migraine, alastor asking an ol’ friend if you’re okay. vox takes great care of you, as a husband should.
“you piece of —!! doll face, it looks like you’re having a migraine, let me help you out.”
“im not having a stupid, fucking, migra —“
arguments ensure between the both of you more often than it should, and that’s something only valentino knows. he watched his friend heave, almost tired from the doubts and desires you seem to want but it’s never what you both need. that need is fame, and vox will get it no matter how hard it is to keep you in line.
tender hands came to your face, his thumbs brushing against your jaw. “are you okay, y/n?” vox asked in a whisper.
you blinked. “yeah, it’s just,” stuttering how your words, you let out a slow sigh, “thank you, my vision was going fuzzy.”
“your migraines are starting to happen too often, i think we should stay indoors for a few days, yeah?”
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briarcrawford · 7 months
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Is This How You Write Romance?
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I have never written a romance; not even once. That does not mean there is anything wrong with romance stories, just that I typically am drawn to writing stories that focus on other aspects. Now, that might sound like I am being a snob, but what I really mean is that I am a simple soul; I crave action scenes. Media that is majority romance just tends to bore me.
I do want to improve as a writer, though, and that does include writing romance(as a sub-plot). It is something most people expect in stories, and, if I am honest, a part of the reason I continue to avoid it is that I have no experience writing it. So, to help me get started, I have been doing what I do best: researching.
I have been (halfheartedly, with my phone in hand) watching the odd romance movie when my mom has them on(those ultra cheesy Hallmark ones), and it seems like most romances can break down into a simple formula.
The formula is:
1. The Meet-Cute
After the viewers have had a look into the life of the main character, the meet-cute happens. This scene is most likely funny or overly dramatic.
“In film and television, a meet cute is a scene in which the two people who will form a future romantic couple meet for the first time, typically under unusual, humorous, or cute circumstances. This type of scene is a staple of romantic comedies, though it can also occur in sitcoms and even soap operas.” Wikipedia
2. Building a Connection
Scenes that gradually bring them closer; typically do to coincidences or circumstances that force them to keep meeting. These scenes are when your readers will decide if they have chemistry or not.
3. Turning to Feelings
They continue having scenes together, and show signs of mutual interest. These scenes are when readers decide if they would make a healthy couple, and romance fans start looking forward to what could happen.
4. Feelings Confirmed
Something happens (such as a rescue, or a near kiss) that makes them realize or suspect that the feelings are mutual.
5. The Test
Their relationship is tested, and they realize how much they need each other. This is normally when one side runs off, and the other chases.
Without some sort of conflict and character building, the romance may come off feeling like filler content or fan service.
6. End
All is resolved, and they are together now.
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Obvious, right? Well, the trick is to weave these into your main plot without them standing out too much.
Once you know what readers want in romance, the tricky part starts.
1. Confirm your genre.
What scenes are most important to you? If it is the romance scenes, you may want to rethink how you classify your genre. For example, there is a difference between writing a fantasy with a romance subplot, and a romance with a fantasy subplot. Deciding if you need to shift your main focus will change how much of each content makes up the percentage of your book.
2. Decide Your Goals.
What are your goals for the relationship? Sometimes, the plot points above stretch through just one book, while other times it can stretch for a whole series. If your goal is to have them get together in one book, know that you will have to deal with continuing that romance throughout the rest of the series(and adding in enough drama to keep it worth the subplot time).
3. They Should Amplify Your Main Plot.
If you have your characters become a couple in the middle of your main-plot’s climax, you risk ruining what tension you have built. Some writers do fight this and go with it anyway, though that is often because one of the love interests is almost guaranteed to die in the next scene.
Instead, consider having the relationship build at the same speed of the main plot. This is why end-of-series kisses are so popular to write.
Another popular option is to have them get together early on, but separated. That way, the hero is fighting not only to survive, but also to get back to their love.
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This is, of course, all written by someone learning, so if any of you have any tips for writing romance, please let me know! I am not planning on watching any more of those movies(sorry, mom haha), so I will take all the help I can get.
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hinakazino · 10 months
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Tobi’s Sister? || Akatsuki w/ child!reader
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Summary: You’re tobi’s sister, that’s it. You may also be the one the Akatsuki love most.
Warnings: Fluff, tiny bit of angst.
Inspired by this piece: uchihas w/ sister!reader.
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You were the last Uchiha ever born, as in you were born a little over a year before the Uchiha Clan Massacre. Obito had known about your presence as it was no secret when a new member was arriving.
Although it was traditional to keep quiet about it until around the 2nd semester out of worry for stressing out the mother. He still found out anyway, and he wasn't sure how to feel about it.
Your arrival was a heartwarming moment. Your mother was very happy for you filled up her heart. Her heart which was dull, was now filled with hope, from the previous loss of her son, him.
It was unfortunate then, that not long after having you that she had gone. That the whole clan had gone, except for you and Sasuke. Obito had debated on your worth but ultimately he chose to keep you and Madara didn't seem to be against it.
Madara himself hearing that he had a little sister had simply said that "we should at least leave out some hope for our clan". So, on the night of the Uchiha massacre you were taken to a secret location, death faked.
From that point on, Obito had raised you on his own and he soon found that you were his love. You were so sweet and adorable, he didn't want anything happening to you. When you came he swore no feelings towards you, yet now you are his weakness.
It wasn't like Obito hid his face from you either, but he knew that he had to keep his plan foolproof so he never told you his real name, sticking to Tobi/big brother. He'd save that revelation for when you were much older.
By the age of 3, you were a healthy toddler who was energetic and intelligent. You picked up things quicker than others, such as walking and talking. Although you weren't a professional you could communicate what you wanted. It was at this age that Obito introduced you to the Akatsuki. Most of the members were surprised by this. Not really by the point that Tobi had this child with him who he had a brotherly relationship with, but more so the point that Pain actually allowed you into the organization.
By the age of 4 you had gotten used to your environment, you were an energetic child. Tobi was personally worried about how the Akatsuki would treat you but nothing bad came out of it. You were given all you needed and treated with the utmost respect.
It was honestly laughable, how the akatsuki. The most powerful criminal organization, dawned in their signature black, red cloud cloaks had this small child. In her small puffy dress running around.
The truth was that not all of the akatsuki knew you personally, they knew you exist but not all have met you. It was decided that you'd be with the main group.
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Pain was at a loss of words, truly, when you were introduced into the equation. He knew right away that you were definitely an uchiha and that you had quite a strong bond with Tobi (for him, "Madara").
But it seemed that out of all things Tobi sincerely meant everything he said about you. He had even cited how Pain and Konan wanted to create a place where children could be happy, "a place I hope she'll be," he said while cradling your sleeping form.
So, Pain ultimately did let you in but not without stating his own terms. Handling a child was not at all easy and if you were to stay with them. You should at least be trained to an extent where you were useful.
After all, the organization doesn’t want any people who’d slow them down. At least, that was the original reason, deep down Pain did feel the need to protect you.
Ultimately a plan was devised, they’d take care of you, teach you, and train you. The more difficult things could be dealt with later on. So, a teaching plan was developed for you when you became apart of the Akatsuki.
Kakuzu had known of your arrival long before any of the other members. As previously Pain had consulted him on this as part of the budget would be put towards taking care of you. This, greatly annoyed Kakuzu.
Kakuzu didn't understand why Pain even cared about you to this extent. He saw this as wasted money, baby formula and diapers weren't cheap. But thankfully, he didn't have to worry about that because by the time you were established as a member you didn't need that anymore.
He eventually didn't mind you at all as you weren't that big of an annoyance. You weren't that interested in him at first. Eventually though due to Pains plan Kakuzu would have to teach you mathematics.
A class, which, to your dismay and Kakuzu's you disliked. Nonetheless he was at least grateful you absorbed knowledge and was quite shocked whenever you'd join into his money-speaking conversations with Hidan.
Hidan was one of the most shocked members, "oh I wonder how strong she is!" he had said. Then when your small form peaked out from behind Tobi, Konan had to reminded him that you were just a child.
Hidan got along with you easily though, and it was no secret the rest of the members enjoyed the "tea parties" you'd host with him and Deidara. Hidan greatly enjoyed your innocence to the world.
Especially your reaction to new things. He remembers laughing so hard when he had you try french fries for the first time, or when you'd seen a shooting star for the first time. He made sure of course, to tell you to make a wish. He really enjoyed your company.
Despite this, Hidan wasn't given an educational role but more so a babysitter rule. It wasn't ideal but he was like a guard for you, since he enjoyed your company he was tasked with keeping an eye on you most of the time.
Deidara reacted exactly like Hidan had, he didn't expect you to be a kid though honestly! When he first saw you he honestly thought you were quite cute. You were so chubby and soft, he loved whenever he'd come back from a long mission. You'd run and hug him!
It was even better when Hidan and him would compete for who you'd hug first. However most of the time you wouldn't choose or just run to Konan instead.
Deidara, unlike Hidan, although being assigned to watch over you partly also was your art teacher. Deidara was not allowed to use explosions at all with you, this was strictly forbidden by Pain and more so by Tobi. Not like he would though after seeing how easily you could get injured. You had merely fell but it'd left you with two bleeding knees that healed fast thankfully since you were still young, but had scared you for awhile. It hurt Deidara to witness that, who would enjoy that anyway?
He mainly just has you make sculptures with him, and it isn't like he hates doing other things besides sculptures. So besides his tendency to destroy things in "the name of art" he really doesn't do that with you also because you had cried once. That was when he realized you were more of a collection person.
Sasori hadn’t given any reaction at all when you’d arrived. He saw it like this, as long as you didn’t disturb him he wouldn’t you. However, it seems like Pain had other plans.
As you technically had to be taught besides being taken care of. It turns out that Sasori had been chosen to be your science teacher. He wasn’t particularly fond of this idea as a child such as you seemed quite dumb, no?
Well he was wrong about you being dumb because you were quite intelligent for your age, but not obedient. Sasori was a man who’d get the job done though so he found a way around your constant moving. It didn't take a genius to figure out kids were active.
He was actually starting to enjoy teaching you then, as you were always excited when he said he had something new for you. You absorbed knowledge from him and always praised him. This stroked his ego a lot.
He was especially impressed at your reaction to his puppets. You’d let out the loudest squeal he’d ever heard and hadn’t even realized it was a puppet. You reminded him of when he was young, and it made him get closer to you.
Itachi had just accepted your presence, although your age shocked him a bit. He was technically considered young himself when he had joined the Akatsuki, and besides he'd seen much worse.
At first, he didn't know how to interact with you but introductions were said and done with Pain's assignment for him. Itachi was to be your actual babysitter, he got you ready for meals, helped dress you, and more.
Pain knew out of everyone here Itachi was kind with kids and knew how to be responsible. Which is why Itachi is your Nanny, always reminding you of naps, rest, and shower time.
It was a bit debated whether it would be Konan or Itachi but Konan was normally rather busy and Itachi had swore to Tobi no harm would come to you. He wasn't one to break promises either. Itachi tried to not become attached to you emotionally but clearly failed. He didn't want to lose another person, or worst comes to worst, be the one to take out that said person. He wasn't an idiot, he knew you were an Uchiha from the moment he laid eyes on you. It was the most shocking of all in your first meeting. He couldn't help feeling grateful in the end however, to know that at least one person was spared from the massacre. This was soon combined with a feeling of guilt though as he knew you were entangled in much more now, he vowed he'd protect you if he could, just like Sasuke.
Eventually, you had come to love Itachi just like a brother, he gave you a sense of familiarity and was super gentle. The same could be said for Itachi, who now saw Sasuke in you.
Kisame was quite amused when you'd joined the Akatsuki. Wouldn't it be rather fun for people to hear of this? Well, either way he thought you'd be scared of him on your first meeting.
Turns out you weren't in the least, you were really curious about him too. When you'd first met your hands had touched his face all over, but what made you love him the most was how high he could lift you.
This was when Kisame first learned just how much kids loved to be tossed around (gently) and he always made sure to lower his strength around you. He actually was quite entertained with you, not as bored as he’d thought.
He was assigned to be your swim teacher, expected really. He began teaching you right away and quickly caught onto your fear of the deep water. Not to fear though because Tobi was there watching your first couple lessons and Kisame controlled the waters to prevent any harm.
He did his best to make the waters seem calm and fun. Whenever he could he’d take you to the beach or a lake. Sometimes Itachi would even tag along with you two as he watched Kisame swim out with you.
Kisame felt proud knowing you were learning quickly. He had bragged about it once to Hidan and Deidara too. They had called him soft towards you but it wasn’t necessarily a lie.
Konan lastly, was your Language/Biology teacher, she came around more often after you came into the equation. You were so adorable in her eyes and she loved whenever you’d run into her arms.
Konan loved your squishy chubby cheeks, most of all your cute voice when you called her name. She was assigned as your biology teacher for obvious reasons. Although this is a more later role she would help you through puberty and such.
She was also your language teacher, helping you learn the characters and to read. Enjoying the fun moment she’d have with you on her lap reading along. You were a kind presence in her world, a reminder of what she hopes to work towards.
Konan is happy to take care of you and you view her much like an older sister. She teaches you so much, and is a very encouraging person. Helping you gain new experiences and also protecting you as much as she can.
© 2023 by Hinakazino, do not translate/edit/claim or use my work in any form.
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cat3ch1sm · 7 months
Note
you've made a lot of fics about killua, but never a general relationship headcanon? 🌸 could I request that?
By the way, I love the way you write the characters, it always feels pretty Canon and I enjoy reading your works a whole lot <33
🌱~ messages like this always make my day💚 than you so much!! im so happy you enjoy my works <33 more are on the way! ilysm 🫶🏾🫶🏾
these are way longer than i thought they were gonna be wow😭😭 turn out i have a whole bunch of killua relationship hcs in my brain and you seem to have broken the dam😭 i hope you like them lmaoo
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𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬!
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°˖ ⊹ ꒰🌱꒱ ♡ definitely don’t expect killua to be the sappy, super overly affectionate type. he will either call you a dumbass or stupid or some other insult. but when you protest he’ll just be like “whatt? i meant it in a nice way.”
killua is not a pda guy. the most he’ll do in public is hold your hand and even that’s a coin toss. he isn’t that fond of things like that anyway, but mostly he’s just worried that if an enemy of his sees you with him that they’ll target you in order to hurt killua. he’ll never admit that, though.
in private it is a different story. he lets you play with his hair and likes to lay with his head in your lap. once he fell asleep like that and woke up so embarrassed even though you told him over and over that it was fine and you thought it was cute, which just made it worse. it’s rare he’s the one initiating physical affection, but it does happen. it’s slightly awkward when you first start dating though, since obviously that’s a new concept to killua. i can definitely imagine him doing that yawn and stretch move when you’re watching a movie or something, but when you reciprocate his affection killua gets all flustered.
killua has legitimately no idea what to do in a romantic relationship. hell, he doesn’t know what a good family relationship should even look like, and he never made a friend until he was like 12, so healthy relationships are a foreign concept. he will be absolutely flabbergasted when you buy him gifts every once in a while just to make him happy, and he’s shocked when you buy him chocolate robots for Valentine’s Day, and he is beyond confused when you give him compliments or tell him that you love him.
killua always admonishes you when you buy him stuff. whenever you bring him something he’ll just stare at it and scoff. “why do you even bother buying me stuff? i’m rich enough to buy your whole family and more, so why do you even bother getting me stuff like this?”
he always takes it anyway so don’t even mind him. killua has a specific place where he keeps your gifts. when he’s away from home he keeps them on him in a knapsack or wherever he’s staying at the time, but when he’s at the zoldyck mansion, killua locks everything away in a box safely hidden and always keeps the key on him so his family can’t get to it.
speaking of his family. you are definitely out of your mind if you think killua is willingly taking you to meet them. absolutely not in a million years. if ever killua does need to go back to his home for something, usually to check on alluka, you are staying wherever you are until he gets back. he will also ask gon to keep an eye on you if gon happens to be traveling with you. killua would rather his family just not know about you at all lest the zoldycks do the same to you as they sometimes do with alluka- capture you, and then hold you over killua’s head and threaten you whenever they want him to do something.
okay enough with the angsty stuff and back to how literally clueless killua is about dating. when gon who is the rizz god for some fucking reason informs him that he needs to take you out on dates, killua is blindsided. at first he just takes you places he likes to go, like the skate park or heavens arena to watch fights, but gon pulls him aside again at some point and says that he needs to take you places that you enjoy. which is something that killua is kind of stubborn about at first, but he does actually want to make you happy, so he obliges.
there’s this post on like twitter or something where this guy is talking about how since spending time with his gf she has him watching stupid shit he would never watch like twilight or grey’s anatomy. that is basically what happens with killua. he’s doing stuff with you that he never thought he would do in a million years and enjoying it for whatever reason. don’t tell anyone though because he gets so embarrassed
one of the things he found out that he likes is wearing eyeliner. you made sone offhanded comment about it and that his eyes look like a cat’s and suddenly you were doing eyeliner for him. it took a lot of convincing, but when killua sees how good it looks on him, he’s asking you to do it for him every day. eventually you teach him how to do it himself as well
killua winds up going to gon a lot for relationship advice. what does he do when you’re sad? go to gon. what should he do for your birthday? ask gon! should he get you new shoes or a new jacket? what do you think, gon?
killua rarely lets you pay for stuff. he’s rich so he doesn’t see why he should
whenever you’re on your phone or reading a book or something, killua will randomly appear behind you and put his head on your shoulder and just watch what you’re doing in silence. but if he sees you’re doing something like online shopping, just scrolling through items, killua will tap the screen whenever he sees something he likes for you. he especially likes to pick out your clothes, and he’s actually good at it. unlike the going out on dates thing, he picks out what he thinks you will like and what looks good on you. honestly killua was the only character who actually changed clothes every day in the show so he’s good with fashion lmao. most of the time he’ll buy the item for you too
killua also doesn’t mind too much if you steal his clothes, like his hoodies or hats. he might not let you take the newer stuff, but he doesn’t mind letting you parade around in his clothes. on the flip side he will also steal some of yours.
killua is very much that bf who claims “im not hungry” but then proceeds to steal half your food. so you’ve learned that whenever he says that to order twice the food
around people he knows, mainly people he doesn’t like, killua likes to show you off- but in a subtler way. like he might casually hold your hand just to show everyone “yeah, i have a partner. no big deal haha”
you literally never have to worry about killua cheating on you. he is fiercely loyal. he’s not one of those bfs that, when approached by another girl or guy, is like “oh, im sorry, but i have a partner.” nah he’s sprinting full speed in the opposite direction of whoever’s trying to approach him. either that or he’s just super rude to anyone who asks for his number or is romantically interested in him.
*cue random mf who wants him* “hi! i thought you seemed really cool and i wanted to know if-“
“nah i got a partner”
“well i just was wondering-“
“fuck out my face im dating someone”
“just-“
“hell nah”
in addition to that, killua is very much the jealous type. if you haven’t watched the phantom rouge movie go watch it rn and tell me killua isn’t jealous. anyone else who makes you smile or laugh or makes the mistake of touching you, killua instantly hates. he always makes sure to be there whenever you’re around that person. situations like that are an exception to his PDA rule- he’ll throw an arm around your shoulder or waist if he’s feeling really protective, or hold your hand. he doesn’t get jealous about gon, though- all three of you are friends and he knows for sure gon wouldn’t try anything on you in a million years.
killua may or may not go a little overboard with his jealousy at times, though. he might mistake a simple interaction for someone trying to get with you
“yo, y/n- why was that guy talking to you?”
“*long sigh* killua. how else was he going to take my order?”
killua is on the protective side and doesn’t really like for you to be out without him or gon. if you aren’t back within a certain timeframe he’ll start spamming your phone with texts and calls to make sure you’re okay.
from: killua @ 10:56 pm
“yo”
“yo”
“y/n”
“yo”
“you good”
“heLLOOOO”
“you’re supposed to answer me im your boyfriend”
“why do you hate me”
“are u alive”
“are u alive”
“come back”
“pls”
“where u at”
“it’s almost 11”
“if ur dead im going to kill u”
“ANSWER BRO”
from: y/n @ 10:57
“HOW DID YOU SEND SIXTEEN FUCKING MESSAGES IN THE SPAN OF ONE MINUTE”
from: killua @ 10:57
“:3”
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azullumi · 1 year
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wanderer and tighnari — boyfriend messages ☆彡
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summary — phone calls and messages exchanged between you two.
characters — wanderer and tighnari (w/gender-neutral reader)
tags — fluff, modern au, established relationship, no use of emojis in text ; headcanons
word count — 704
note — i wrote this on a different time compared to the first part so the approach in writing is different! ^^ i'll be working on requests later on
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WANDERER
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Midnight calls. Late night texts. Random crack of the dawn messages. Everything that happens on a whim, you name it. The peak message activity between you two happens late at night until dawn and the time that you two would stop talking will depend on your plans or schedule for the next day—you have classes? You'll either fall asleep in the midst of talking or finish the conversation by 2 in the morning at max. It's the weekend tomorrow? Expect that the two of you would either be awake the whole night, doing something together and talking to each other, or sleeping quite early to make up for the hours lost from the past few days that you should have been asleep.
Being mean is the embodiment of his being and sarcasm is the mother language of his tongue. Even in texts with the restrictions of expression as it's all locked behind and washed down to just simple letters in a rounded-corners rectangle, he is able to express and convey the tone and feeling he wants to show—hatred, disdain, confusion, and everything.
One thing that he loves to do is to just be a little gremlin, sending random images or messages in class that either distracts you because you're trying to think of what it means or because you'll end up talking to him— your attention will be all directed to him and he loves it. He knows the effect he has on you and completely takes advantage of it because why not? The opportunity is there so why not make the most out of it?
Despite all of that, however, he still looks after you. Yes, he might be a little mean at times and he could act like some sort of menace but he cherishes you and loves you. It's just like when you'll mention how you want something on that day and he'll show up later on with that thing that you want in hand, messaging you to open the door even if it's already late at night—he'll end up having to stay over and sleep at your home.
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TIGHNARI
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Have you eaten already? How about breakfast? Did you drink enough water? Did you skip your meal again? Oftentimes, you find yourself being asked by your own mind if you're talking to your doctor or your boyfriend—though you do appreciate how he looks after and cares for you, making sure that you're eating properly and staying healthy, bringing you food and everything when you didn't get to eat earlier that time because you were busy and didn't have time to, or when he'll look after yourself every single time that you are sick and you have to listen to his nagging especially when he'll learn that you did something which put you in that situation.
He's just always so worried about you that he checks on you as much as he can—much more if you're a reckless and careless type of person. It just feels like it's one of his nature to look after his loved ones, especially you and though it can be overwhelming at first because you might think that you're being bothersome to him, trust me, he doesn't think of you like that, you're not some troublesome thing to him and he's doing everything on his own accord. It just puts his mind at peace and his thoughts silent knowing that you're safe, healthy, or away from harm—and knowing that he's part of the reason for those makes him proud of himself.
Even through his messages, you could feel the gentleness in his tone or way of speaking in general—his choice of words makes up for all of it despite not having the habit of using emojis nor emoticons. Perhaps it was also the way he adds sweet and affectionate messages in between like him telling you that he loves you after greeting you good morning.
He's very considerate of your feelings, always taking it into account before he does something. He's the type to message you and update you on what he's doing, telling and informing you if ever he'll become busy so that you won't wonder why he is not replying to you quickly or answering any of your calls.
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© azullumi — do not plagiarize, copy, repost, nor translate any of my works.
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gothic-thoughts · 2 months
Text
Slow on the Internet
(idek how i found this pic of him but im SO glad this shit exists😭)
(AGED UP) Yuji Itadori x Black Fem Reader Fluff
Streamer!Yuuji, Shy!Reader, RoommateAU, Friends2Lovers
CW: oblivious Yuuji 😭😭, yuuji talking to his twitch chat, reader speaks some Japanese 🤝🏾 Yuuji speaks some English, not proofread
Word Count: 1701
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any Japanese is written in Romaji and confirmed by DeepL
It was 10 pm, Itadori was sitting in his gaming headphones on his stylish armchair, playing a popular game while Spotify was quietly playing a mellow song in the background.
"Guys, the stream's gonna be a little quiet, I don't want to wake my roommate."
Itadori tried not to make too much noise, talking quietly to his audience.
- Which one?
- Is it (Y/n)??
- Megumi or the American girl you brought on a while ago?
- The girl??
 "Yes, I’m talking about (Y/n). Megumi's out for the night. Uh, for those new to stream, a couple streams ago..." Yuuji laughs into his hand, "Like 3 streams ago, I forced my roommate, (Y/n), to make a... commentary vid with me."
- You should force her back fr 👀👀
- Bring her back, yall were cute
- You guys chemistry was adorable, u sure she's just a roomie??👀👀
He laughed at the comments, a little embarrassed at the idea of having chemistry with his roommate, but it was sweet of them to think that. He shook his head and laughed, trying to brush it off as a friendly relationship.
"Shut up, it’s a normal amount of chemistry! I like to think we have a cool dynamic.”
- UR TELLING ME U DON'T LIKE HER??
- denial isn’t healthy, Itadori
- but does she want to STAY ur friend??
It was flattering how invested they were in a relationship between him and (Y/n). He wasn't sure what his chat was implying, surely they were teasing him. There was a little part of him that liked and even agreed with his chat's implications. He was glad they were taking so much interest in his friendship with (Y/n). It was sweet.
"I- what are you guys saying?" He laughed nervously, his cheeks red.
- THAT SHE LIKES U DUH
- U LIKE EACH OTHER??
- ITADORI UR FUMBLING
"You really think my roommate likes me? Really?"
- YES
- The only she could make it more obvious was if she kissed you like r u srs 😭😭
- Does she take or borrow ur stuff a bunch?
"Oh yeah, all the time." He laughed, nodding. "Like she'll use my body soap and won’t give it back unless I ask. Sometimes she'll even just take my clothes and leave them somewhere in her heya (room); sore wa wakaranai (I don't get that)."
- Bro cuz she likes u
- YUUJI WHAT
- She got it bad too. Both of u do
- AND U FRIENDZONED HER??
His heart was beginning to race a little as his chat spoke and said all these things. He laughed nervously, but he didn't deny any of their comments. He wondered if all these things actually were happening because she did have feelings for him.
"No, no I didn't... did I?"
- How do u curve a goddess BY ACCIDENT?
- Rejecting someone by accident is crazy
- She is fine asf lowkey
He shivered a little as his chat continued, making him begin to feel a little bad for keeping his feelings to himself and even stupid when realizing that he wasn’t reading her feelings correctly.
"I don't know, I mean.... it never crossed my mind that she really liked me. Maybe... but she just did small things."
He rubbed the back of his neck, not sure what to say. "I didn’t think she’d like me, I thought she was just doing it cuz she’s still fairly new to Japan. Aside from the fact that she’s out of my league."
- is it because she's older than you?
- I dont even think ur age gap is even that big smh
- how old is she anyway? U look about the same age
- Ik ur 21 but how old is (Y/n)?
"How old? She's 23, but still..."
He rubbed the back of his neck, his face red. He just didn't know what to say so he just laughed nervously. They kept describing her and it made him feel bad, thinking that he had been doing this to her, hopefully she still liked him so he could try again.
- ONLY 2 YEARS AND U STRESSIN BOUT AN AGE GAP???
- If you don't GO CONFESS LIKE AN ADULT😭😭
- Ur both young adults so age is just a number fr
- Yuuji, don't piss me off 🙄😤
Itadori couldn't help but laugh the more he read, unable to deny the comments that his chat was making. It felt like his chat had read his mind.  
"Okay okay, wakattyo (i get it)! She likes me, I might like her, age isn't an issue. What am I supposed to do though?"
- Talk to her wat 😭😭
- UH TALK TO HER??
- Ask her out duh.
He laughed and read the comments. His chat was making it so simple.
"Come on guys, it can't be that simple. I live with her! What if she doesn't feel the same and things end up being awkward?"
Itadori jumps out of his chair, his heart beating out of his chest when he hears the only other person in the house knock on his bedroom door. Shit. Of course. He then realized he had his stream on the whole time so she definitely heard everything. He got up and walked over to his door. He cracked open the door, peeking through with his cheeks still red.
“Hey, Yuu.”
"Hey... did you hear nandemo (anything)?"
"Hear what?" (Y/n) furrowed her eyebrows, "You on the phone?”
He paused and smiled, "Uh, yeah. Yeah, I was just making sure I wasn’t being too, um, loud. I thought you were asleep.”
“I was, but I woke up wanting something sweet. I'm running to the konbini, nani ka hoshi mono wa?"
“Yeah, sure.” He paused, thinking of something, "Can you get me some ichigo pocky?"
“Honto ni? I was gonna get the same thing.”
He laughed, her answer surprised him. "Really?"
“Yea. Alright, I'll be right back."
He smiles, waiting for her to come back. He had so many thoughts, so much to process about the stuff his chat said and his own feelings for her. He waited for her to come back with the strawberry pocky.
- Well???
- Did she seem to like u??
- What she say?
“There's really no reason for me not to like her, ya know? I'm starting to think I like her back, really like her, she’s so sweet." He rubbed his neck, feeling guilty, "You guys were right, I've been rejecting her by accident. When she gets back, I want to tell her."
- YAAY
- LETSSGOOO
- THATS MY BOY
- GAMER BF + SHY GF FTW
The comments made him smile even brighter. The chat called her his girlfriend, but he didn't want to get too ahead of himself. He could only hope she'd respond positively.
"Shut up guys, I'm not her boyfriend.... well, yet hopefully."
20 minutes later, she walks into his room with snacks and a few drinks in a bag. He didn't expect her to come back so fast but it made him grateful. He was smiling wide as he took off his headphones and paused his game again, realizing how cute she was when she was just being herself. (Y/n) pauses in his doorway with wide eyes and a dropped jaw.
“Are--” She lowered her voice, “Are you streaming?”
"Uh, heh yeah. Uh, my chat they made me see something. It has to do with you."
“Oh god...” She chuckles and waves shyly at the camera, walking over, “They don't want me on another stream, do they?”
His chat was blowing up with comments, excited at the appearance of his roommate again. "Shut up guys, I swear. It wasn't planned. Anyway, you don't have to come near the camera.”
“I don’t, good; I was freaking out already.” She laughs.
“Do you mind if I keep streaming while we talk?"
“Uh... sure, why?” She hands him a soda and the boxes of pocky then backs out of the camera, “You making me nervous~”
"Yeah, sorry. They've really grown to like you, so they're excited to see you again."
“I was only in one stream!”
"I know, I know, but they really liked you. So every time you show up again, they get really excited because they love seeing more of you."
“I didn’t know I had fans; is that what you wanted to tell me?”
He sighed, "No, it's not. There's something else."
“Mkay...?”
"Alright.” He takes a deep breath and stands, hoping he doesn’t make a fool of himself, “So chat made me realize that I’m a biggest idiot in the world. I... I like you, (Y/n).”
“You're...” (Y/n) chuckles uncomfortably, “You’re joking? Kore wa jyooku desu ka?”
"No, no. I mean it. They helped me realize that you liked me so I wanted to tell you that.”
“But I thought you didn't like me.”
"Yeah, well, I thought I didn't, I realized it after they pointed out how we treat each other. And they were right.”
“So you were rejecting me... by accident?!”
“I just thought you'd stick around me cuz you’re still a little new to Japan!"
“Yuuji, I've lived here for like 5 months now!”
“Yeah, but I thought, like... I don’t know!”
“God, you be so clueless sometimes.” She sighs deeply, “Since I know now, finish your stream and we can eat the snacks and maybe, uh, eiga o miru?"
Itadori froze. “Movie? You... want to watch a movie with me?"
“Seems like the only thing to do this late at night," She chuckles, "Everything but the convenience store is closed this late."
"Hell yeah, I’d love to!”
(Y/n) laughs, “Mkay, lemme know when you’re done.”
(Y/n) leaves his room with the bag of her sweets and closes the door. Yuuji sits back down in his chair with a wide smile on his face as he starts playing his game again. He was so focused on finishing it for his stream and going to watch the movie that he wasn’t reading the chat’s confused and riled comments. He finally looked over at them and laughed, pausing the game:
- ITADORI IF U DON'T END THE STREAM
- GO BRO
- END STREAM
- STREAM TMR TF
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(a/n): unfortunately not sponsored by strawberry pocky cuz 🤤🤤
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amostnobleyandere · 2 months
Text
Yandere! Incel! Scaramouche x NB! Reader
This is an 18+ blog!!!! If you don’t like yandere content or are a minor, do not interact. thank you!
CW: Yandere content, stalking, creepy scaramouche, incel behavior, creepy behavior, toxic relationships, kidnapping, his friends encourage and enable his problematic behavior, brief fantasizing about a domestic husband/spouse dynamic, forced romantic relationship, non-consensual touching
*also just to be clear, this is loosely based off the term “incel,” his behavior is more like a creepy recluse if anything?? I just couldn’t think of a better word to use and I thought it fit okay. there’s no misogyny or extremely gross behavior involved, but he is creepy so just. keep that in mind. anyways, enjoy!
—————————
Incel! Scaramouche who doesn’t get out much not because he has bad social skills (he does but that’s not the point), but because he loathes the idea of big crowds and being around lots of people. Socializing with people is already irritating enough, since he’s the only one on this earth who seems to have braincells. Why go out when he’s got everything he needs at home?
Incel! Scaramouche who has more money than he knows what to do with from his (insanely) loaded and emotionally distant mother (who gives it to him because she doesn’t know how to show affection any other way). he spends it all on expensive gaming set ups, take-out, and new technology all while being up in his top floor penthouse with a horizon line view.
Incel! Scaramouche who has friends, they’re just all online (and just as fucked up as he is) who he talks to (yells at) through the microphone while gaming.
Incel! Scaramouche who meets you while doing something mudane. He sees you at a grocery store picking over vegetables one day. Ignores you. 30 minutes later, he proceeds to bump into you and then acts like an asshole about you touching him, something that was clearly his fault. The two of you get into it, and eventually you’re the one to turn and walk away, already in a bad mood from the interaction. He’s interested now.
Incel! Scaramouche who isn’t delusional enough to convince himself that it’s fate, but who is curious enough to stalk follow you around for a while. He’s not hurting you or talking to you, what’s the harm done?
Incel! Scaramouche who while stalking monitoring you begins to note things about you. Unconsciously, of course. It’s not like his life revolves around you or anything. He just…starts to notice things. How you spend your days, what you like, what you don’t like, who you interact with and the places that you spend your time at the most. Soon enough he knows just as much about you habits and daily life as your friends do, if not more.
Incel! Scaramouche whos friends encourage his problematic behavior. They’re just as chronically online as he is, and have no conception of the morals and boundaries that come with having a healthy relationship. (Some of them, like Venti and Kazuha, even have a more romantic view of his infatuation interest, repeating that it’s okay to cross some lines, as long as it’s for love)
Incel! Scaramouche who has a weird view of relationships because his only knowledge on them comes from anime, the internet, and all the other types of weird media he consumes. (Should the kidnapping happen before or after your first date?) He’s not doing any of the cheesy shit the internet says. He’s not going to bring flowers, that would be stupid. (He’ll end up buying an overly large bouquet which he sends to your doorstep. there’s no note and you find it extremely creepy. You refuse to leave your home without pepper spray now)
Incel! Scaramouche who eventually just plucks you from the streets, right outside of your home/apartment building. No struggle to go along with it. Obviously you do fight back, but the men he hired to pick you up are far too experienced for you to even have a chance of running away.
Incel! Scaramouche who doesn’t really care about your feelings surrounding the whole situation. and well. he was getting a little lonely. most of his friends live too far away for them to meet up frequently, and it’s not like he’d want to see those crazy bastards everyday anyways. You’re much better company compared to those psychos, as much as he loathes to admit it. and you’re just so…pretty, and he can feel and touch you as much as he wants. it’s pleasant, and his apartment has never felt so full before, not at all empty like it did before he brought you here. you should be grateful you’re here too; he gives you everything you could ever want (within reason). really, you should feel grateful that you’ve been chosen by someone who’s so financially stable, who can provide for you.
you can have a good life with him, better than you could’ve had without him.
Incel! Scaramouche who kind of begins to see you as his little house spouse. nevermind that you’re here against your will; you’ve taken up doing chores around the house if only to fill the time, and it’s really only confirming his belief that kidnapping you was the best thing he could’ve done. when he comes through the door after a rare visit to the outside world and he sees you sitting there, idle, practically waiting for him? he feels like the typical breadwinner coming home to a loving domestic life. he’s not so delusional to think that you’re happy to be his little house spouse and captive, but it’s not like you can do anything about it, so he might as well enjoy the thought while he can.
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honeytonedhottie · 4 months
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trusting and betting on urself⋆.ೃ࿔*:・🫧
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keep promises that u make to urself : just like how if u know someone who continuously makes promises to do something, yet they never act upon it, you won't trust that person or believe them if they promise u something else. this is also the same with urself. ur new years resolutions? ur goals that you've had for a while but never ever did? all those promises that you've made to yourself and the ones that you haven't followed up on will lessen trust with urself. do what u say you'll do. "stand on business" and if u know that u won't be able to deliver or do what u say you would, dont say it. dont tell urself promises that u won't be able to keep. once u start keeping ur own promises, you'll start to build trust within urself.
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hold yourself accountable : just a quick disclaimer but when i say holding urself accountable i do NOT mean punishing urself!! when u find urself falling into old and fruitless patterns you need to hold urself accountable and make sure that u straighten up. the thing about our relationship with self is that a relationship needs BOUNDARIES. you need to set boundaries with urself. what will u or what will u not do? ur non-negotiables?
and when u find urself crossing boundaries within yourself take the BIGGEST step back. the key to forming a healthy relationship with urself is to balance being strict and gentle with urself. strict in the sense that ur the only one that can get u to where u wanna be, and gentle in the sense that ur best won't look the same every single day and u should also listen to urself and what u want, without having to compromise on ur boundaries. kind of finding that middle line is important, bcuz when we're too lenient with ourselves, we get too comfortable and that leads me into my next point...
where growth begins : u cannot expect to grow if ur too comfortable and honestly, this is why most people stay stagnant. its bcuz being comfortable FEELS GOOD. but growth will almost never happen when ur comfortable, on the contrary growth can only happen outside of ur comfort zone. if u want better things for urself, ur simply gonna have to DO BETTER.
the importance of ur self concept : even if ur not familiar with or u dont practice conscious manifesting/law of assumption, i think that working on ur self concept can still be such a fruitful thing to do. i say this because self concept is the way that u view urself in relation to ur desires/goals. its seeing urself as worthy and powerful, and truly grasping ur potential to do great things. a way to start with ur self concept is with affirmations! start telling urself about urself in a positive connotation. you're unstoppable <3
putting it into practice : start small, challenge urself a little bit every day. do one hard thing a day, doing so will build ur confidence bcuz u won't be so daunted by ur big goals when you've already done so many hard things. when u see something challenging instead of thinking "oh i can't do this" you'll have confidence in urself and what u are capable of. oftentimes when we have goals, we kick ourselves out of rooms before we've even tried to get in them bcuz we think "im not good enough" or "im not worthy" which isnt true at ALL. dont shoot urself in the foot. thats self sabotage. and thats not hot.
motivating urself : if u remind urself of your "why" then you'll have reason to stay consistent and truly try. i recommend asking urself the tougher questions, like "what do i want out of my life?" or "am i truly happy and if not what can i do to get there?" once you've decided what u want out of life make a VISION BOARD and actively pursue your dreams. u can't actively pursue something if u dont know what it is. so i advise u to remind urself whenever u feel that u need it of your "why", your driving cause. having that motivation, and actively pursuing and keeping the promises that u make to urself -> will then build ur confidence in yourself to the point where your betting on urself bcuz u know that no matter what cards you are dealt, you'll prosper.
so just to wrap things up, an overview ; start keeping ur promises -> be strict -> get comfy being uncomfy -> say ur self concept affirmations -> apply -> remind
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cinnamostar · 4 months
Text
lotus
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pairing : seungmin x gn!reader
summary : how do you save a failing relationship?
wc : 921
cw : established relationships, angst, sadness, a touch of fluff, not proof read
a/n : hehehe ok i ended up getting inspired again! let me know what you guys think!!!! also hehe lotus flowers can represent rebirth/new beginnings btw >:3
wilted petals laid across the counter, the color they once held greying out as the dried edges chipped away over time. the flowers that once blossomed beautifully in its porcelain vase had long died out, the life that once coursed through it left without a trace, leaving behind the depressing, unsightly death of a flower. the few petals that remained clung onto the stem of the flower in a desperate attempt to hold onto life, yet their grip would eventually loosen as it weathered its painstakingly slow demise, signifying the end of its life cycle. their reluctance to let go was pitiful, yet it felt like the bouquet of dying flowers now only mocked you and served as a cruel metaphor of the state of your relationship.
months had gone by, the fiery passion that once ignited the love story you and seungmin wrote had been put out, leaving behind only a trail of ash and soot that covered every inch of your hands. the pages of this novel was slowly ripping at its seams, the book thinning out as you desperately thumbed through it, praying to find a clue on how to rekindle this dying romance. except your touch would leave behind cinders on each page, the words you hopelessly searched through now becoming illegible.
you both had become complacent, completely forgoing the smallest details of maintaining a healthy relationship which ultimately whittled down the foundation of your love. the cracks had become more apparent, the soullessness behind each action was undeniable, and you were both becoming exasperated as you tried to keep up appearances to one another, not willing to admit there was a growing issue that needed to be addressed. they say ignorance is bliss, but the tension between you two hung heavily and was gradually drowning you, and it was about time for one of you break to the surface to catch your breath.
tonight, you and seungmin were sitting across each other at the dinner table, quietly eating the take out food you ordered. it was upsettingly silent, not a single exchange of words and only the sound of your utensils scrapping against your plates could be heard.
what was the point of this anymore? why had you both accepted this new norm without a fight? had you both become use to each others presence? were you both too afraid to face the possibility of loneliness? did he even still love you?
these questions had occupied your mind for months, the number of them growing as the aching feeling your heart once suffered from had slowly become numbing.
should you say something? right now? interrupt the faux peace that you two had become accustomed to?
maybe, maybe not. it was all too daunting to not know where that conversation would leave, but you also no longer wanted to live with never ending misery. something had to be done.
“do you still love me?” you whisper, your voice quivering with trepidation, bracing yourself for his response.
seungmin looks up from his meal, his piercing gaze meeting yours, uncertainty and fear in hiding behind his stoic expression. he lets out a heavy huff, nodding his head as he took in your words, “of course i do. do you still love me?”
“yes, always,” you respond, your face softening at his confirmation, “but… what happened to us?”
he didn’t need you to further explain yourself, the few words you spoke carried the weight of your sadness as he reflected on the state of your deteriorating relationship. “im not sure,” he sighs, “im sorry.”
you swallow thickly as a lump of your emotions manifests in your throat, “im sorry too,” tears begin to prick your eyes, “what do we do?”
“i don’t know.”
“i don’t know either.”
the uncomfortable, familiar silence returns in its place as you each gaze longingly at the other. what was there to do? there was no guide book on how to salvage the skeleton of a relationship, the tendrils of love thinning out as they weakly held your hearts together.
seungmin clears his throat, as if to disperse the tensity in the atmosphere, “do you want to keep trying?”
you bit the inside of your cheek anxiously, “i do, but what if it doesn’t work out?”
“then at least we can say we tried our best,” he hums, mindlessly poking his food with his fork, “i wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if i didn’t try.”
“okay,” you nod meekly, “let’s try again.”
“when was the last time i took you out on a date?” he asks, pain evident in his voice upon making this realization.
“i don’t even remember,” you tearfully answer, looking away from seungmin’s eyes as his began to glaze over with anguish.
“i see,” he whispers to himself with a sniffle, “let’s start there then.” he forces a weak smile, feebly holding onto the bit of hope he rediscovered, “let’s remember why we fell in love in the first place, okay? let’s go to the ice cream shop we went on for our first date tomorrow. how does that sound?”
you look back at him, a touched smile that sent butterflies down seungmin’s abdomen, a smile he didn’t realize how much he missed, “i’d like that very much.”
the very next day, when you woke up to get ready for your date, the withering flowers had be replaced with flourishing lotus flowers. a small note scrawled with seungmin’s handwriting laid next to it:
here’s to a new beginning. i love you.
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animeyanderelover · 7 months
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May I request Chuuya, Dazai, Kageyama, Tendou, Yuuji(jjk), and Urie with an s/o who has social anxiety. Happy new year 🎉
Tags: @naeho @flaming-vulpix @shumidehiro @leveyani
Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, delusion, protective behavior, clinginess, isolation, manipulation, threats, co-dependence
S/o has social anxiety
Kuki Urie
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🖤He knows that it’s very much wrong to feel this way but Urie can’t stop himself from enjoying your social anxiety at times. He’s someone who wants to be useful to you, mainly by protecting you and making you feel safe and that is what ends up happening due to your fear of interacting with others. You tend to stick close to his side since he’s your boyfriend, let him do most of the talking when someone approaches you two and are very skittish when you’re left alone, terrified that someone might try to talk to you since your nervousness shows. This gives him a lot of control and power in the relationship, something that isn’t healthy, yet even if Urie knows that, at times it just gets to his head. The problem is that even if he tries to encourage you to be socially active, you often just run back to him when you’re too scared.
🖤The way you clutch his hand in your own sweaty palm and hide behind him always shatters his rational side telling him to have you adapt a bit better. How couldn’t he when he sees you shaken to your core? Slowly he starts resigning himself to the new role he has to take as your boyfriend and soon he starts liking it. Sure, it’s unhealthy and your borderline co-dependence on him is toxic but you seem so much happier and at ease with the way things are right now. You’re feeling good and protected when he’s with you and that’s all Urie really wants. He reacts slightly aggressive when his own Squad points out that your relationship isn’t really healthy even if a part of him silently agrees with them.
Tobio Kageyama
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🌧️Poor boy is a bit overwhelmed with his darling but he really only wants the best for them. Unfortunately his good intentions can come across as very overbearing most of the time. He’s just very protective of you due to your fear to speak with other people and the fact that you come running to him so often since you’re more comfortable around him, Kageyama also ends up getting the wrong idea. He’s not really letting you leave that much without him because what would happen if you’d end up needing his help with something? Worst is that you would rather prefer being with him.
🌧️You feel so much more comfortable when he’s with you since he can just take over the socializing part for you. It becomes such a routine for him that at one point he low-key normalizes it without fully acknowledging that you should require some help. Even if his friends tell him that he should help you with your problem instead of coddling you by doing what you want to avoid, he just can’t deny you the moment you become anxious in public. He’s too protective to see you struggling like this. No, instead he starts turning angry when someone starts making you uncomfortable, even if they had no bad intentions at all.
Satori Tendou
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❤️Tendou finds himself stuck in a bit of a moral dilemma when it comes to his darling. On the one hand he also feels a very sick enjoyment by having you rely on him so much but he also understands that your social anxiety is a hindrance since social interaction is unavoidable, no matter how hard you may try. It isn’t really healthy. Obviously he helps you when you struggle which oftentimes just ends with him doing everything in the end as you end up feeling too embarrassed and nervous, hiding behind his tall form. It’s very hard forcing you into something when you’re shaking, have clammy hands and keep on looking at him for reassurance. Honestly, at times he just scares some people away with his creepy looks when they make you very visibly anxious and don’t seem to have plans to leave anytime soon.
❤️Satori is still doing what he can to help somehow since he knows that you yourself are sometimes frustrated because you just can’t hold a normal conversation and ask for help. To not push you into cold water right away though, he starts by having you around Ushijima and the other volleyball players in his team. They’re quite a chaotic bunch so he deems that if you’ve gotten used to them, being around others should be easier. He’s also trying to take you out more, although he never leaves your side once. All his good intentions aside though, sometimes Tendou feels insecure about himself too. When that happens, your clingy behavior and reliance on him is reassuring and he’ll even encourage it to feel better about himself.
Dazai Osamu
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🤎I don’t think that you’d be much surprised to find out that Dazai would love this a little bit too much. You’ve just given him the golden ticket to enable him to do what he wants. It isn’t hard to notice that you struggle enormously with social interactions and this gives the man a great idea on how to manipulate you and make you dependent on him. All he has to do is get close to you and then worsen your already anxious condition to have you fully rely on him. As soon as you have opened your heart for him, he starts spreading his poison. Always taking over in public, something you tend to let him do very gladly. After all it spares you all the potential embarrassment and struggles to speak up.
🤎Just like that he coaxes you into letting him handle everything which worsens your social skills and makes you all the more bashful and nervous when he isn’t with you. You find yourself unwilling to leave the house much if Dazai can’t be with you since you’ve grown too accustomed with him being the one in charge. Your avoidance of social events leads you to spend a lot of time with Dazai at home and he mostly doesn’t mind. Sometimes though he craves to see you all anxious and nervous, struggling to speak to strangers and ultimately hiding behind him. It’s adorable~
Nakahara Chuuya
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🟠Little, aggressive man here only grows easier irritable with someone like his s/o. Chuuya is a very protective man so he can not bear to see you as scared and nervous as you often are. Technically he knows that the other person mostly isn’t at fault, he’s aware of your social anxiety. He just can’t keep his temper though, especially if you look at him with those frightened and pleading eyes which make his heart burst. Your social anxiety and his easily trigger-happy temper make for a very bad combo in public so Chuuya spends a lot of his time with you inside his house where he knows that you feel far more comfortable.
🟠He feels great seeing you far more happy and comfortable, so much more loving now that you aren’t a nervous mess. A part of him still knows that this isn’t healthy and that he probably should help you. He does try at times, takes you outside and encourages you to interact with the people on the cash register or with the waiter/waitress ready to take your order. Such attempts often end up with him doing everything in the end though. He’s initially always a bit disappointed, clear by the small sigh he gives, but it’s all forgotten when you break out of your shell and shower him with affection at home.
Itadori Yuji
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🩷Yuji is a supportive boyfriend so he’d definitely take it upon himself to help you with your social anxiety. Sure, sometimes it’s cute when you squirm nervously behind him but he knows that social interaction is important. He himself is socially very active and loves to take you outside for dates as well and whilst he doesn’t mind staying at times home with you, he eventually grows bored. Now, Yuji doesn’t expect you to be the ultimate social butterfly but he wants to reduce your anxiety of talking to strangers and your refusal to ask questions when you need help. If you’re too uncomfortable starting with total strangers, he just asks his friends and his sensei to help you a bit out of your shell. Nobara says that she thinks it’s a bit ridiculous but ends up being the one most supportive out of his teammates anyways.
🩷Mainly because she thinks that Megumi is too gloomy to be much of a help and Gojo…well, is Gojo. He visits the same shops and places with you so you grow accustomed to the staff and the people working there, encourages you to speak up for yourself. The pink-haired boy never leaves you alone though so you always have a feeling of reassurance by having him next to you. It’s really sweet, he praises you and compliments you when you do manage to speak up for yourself and showers you in little kisses but also isn’t disappointed if you can’t do something. He’s celebrating even the small steps you take but don’t worry, if it’s too much he’s there to take over for you.
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veltana · 4 months
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Mafia AU prequels - Bucky's break-up
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✦ Pairing: Stucky/Fem!Reader ✦ Word count: ~1.7k ✦ Rating: Mature ✦ Warnings/tags: hurt/comfort, mild swearing, angst, mentions of alcohol consumption, lots of fluff and feels, platonic cuddling, sharing a bed, Bucky is a dramatic drunk, unrequited love/crush, mention of loki/reader. ✦ Summary: The thing with roommates is that you will hear them during sex occasionally, it can’t be avoided with thin walls in an old building. But since that Wednesday Bucky never once slept alone and the rest of the time he was hardly in the apartment. ✦ Note: This is a prequel to No one as sweet as you set while they were living together in college, which focuses on their growing relationship and how Bucky and Steve started to develop feelings for Sweets as more than just their best friend. You don't need to read No one as sweet as you to get this but I recommend it. (Also posted on AO3)
Series masterlist
Masterlist | AO3
Bucky and Dot broke up on a Wednesday around lunch. On Wednesday night Bucky had a new girl in his bed and you and Steve shrugged, put on your headphones, and waited for it to blow over.
The thing with roommates is that you will hear them during sex occasionally, it can’t be avoided with thin walls in an old building. But since that Wednesday Bucky never once slept alone and the rest of the time he was hardly in the apartment.
With your room right in between Steve and Bucky’s, you took the brunt of the sounds and on Friday morning you decided to take shelter in Steve’s room because the girl was a screamer and you had barely slept for two days.
Now it’s Tuesday, around one am and both Steve and you are awake, listening to the moans and sounds making their way through your room and into Steve’s.
"How does he even do it?" Steve sounds a little amazed as you both lay in bed and stare at the ceiling. "Drugs?" you ask. "Honestly, it has to be, how else is he going at it all the time like that?" "Maybe they're all faking it?" you suggest.
"I've never heard anyone complain about him," Steve shrugs. "But I mean statistically he can’t get it right for everyone every time." "If he does, he is one of a kind," you decide. "Tempted to go for a ride?" You hear the smile in Steve's voice without even looking. "No, not really," you grimace. "We should do something, I’m not sure it’s healthy anymore."
"Yeah I know, Sweets, but if I try and grab him like he did with me when I was sad about Peggy he is probably going to punch me," Steve sounds concerned too.
Sweets, that dorky nickname they both have decided to call you because you happen to like all things sweet. Somehow it had stuck, even though you protested. "I can try and talk to him," you pause before continuing. "If he is ever alone again."
Suddenly the front door slams and you realize that the sounds have stopped. Sharing a look both of you rush out of bed, finding Bucky in the kitchen, downing a gallon of juice.
"Want some?" He holds it out when he sees you. The smell of alcohol on his breath is strong, even when you’re a few feet away, pulling out a chair to sit down across from where he’s standing. "No thank you," you answer while Steve leans against the fridge. "So, who was that?" you ask.
Bucky shrugs. "Don't know, met her at a bar." "Are you using protection?" Steve asks with a raised eyebrow. Bucky straightens up, putting the open juice jug down hard on the counter, making liquid slosh out, looking at Steve with black eyes that you’ve never seen before.
"Of course I am, do you think I'm fucking dumb or somethin'," he snarls. Bucky tends to be a little dramatic when he's drunk. In an effort to calm him down you reach out to him. "Hey, Bucky, it's okay, he wasn't-" The moment your fingers touch his arm, he turns and moves his hand. "Don't fucking touch me," he says and the palm of his hand connects with your underarm.
Out of surprise and not because it hurts, you yelp and look up at Bucky, a little confused because he’s never reacted like that before. He stares back at you with horrified eyes, realization dawning on him. Slowly, without another word, he backs away and hurries over to his room, slamming the door behind him like a teenager in a fit.
Steve moves forward and grabs your arm, turning it over to see if you’re hurt. "What the fuck is wrong with him," he murmurs. "It's nothing, I was just surprised," you shrug. "I've hurt myself worse by bumping into tables." "That is no fucking excuse." Steve lets go and starts towards Bucky's door. Before he can knock, Bucky opens it with a bag over his shoulder. He's changed into new clothes and his cap is pulled down low over his eyes.
Steve blocks the doorway and crosses his arms, asking "Where the fuck are you going?" "Heading out, move," Bucky mumbles and tries to duck past Steve but the other won't let him. "The fuck your not, you're gonna stay here and face whatever it is that you’re feeling," Steve's voice is laced with restrained anger. "And you're gonna apologize to Sweets."
You’re about to protest that you're not really hurt, but Steve shoots a look over his shoulder and you clamp your mouth shut. "We understand that you're sad about Dot," Steve is softer now and he leans on the doorframe, giving Bucky a way out but he doesn't take it, he just stands there, looking at the ground.
"You don't understand shit, Steve," Bucky mutter. "Have you even cried?" Steve asks and that makes Bucky’s head snap up, his mouth a thin line. "Real men don't fucking cry," he hisses. They stare at each other for a long while, then Steve points to you. "Can real men apologize when they're being a fucking ass?" Steve asks with poorly hidden disdain.
This is a sore spot for both of them and has been the grounds for arguments before. Bucky has some views on what it means to be a man that neither Steve nor you share. It has gotten better over the years according to Steve but you have not seen Bucky cry once, not to sad movies or when he’s been injured, or even had his heart broken. It's concerning, but maybe you and Steve can help him with that one day.
The bag lands on the floor with a thump and he walks past Steve to where you're sitting on the chair. Without a word he gets down on his knees in front of you and gently grabs your arm, pressing his lips against your skin murmuring "I'm sorry," repeatedly.
Steve has turned to look at you and you meet his eyes that are still hard and annoyed. You use your free hand to remove the cap and run your fingers through Bucky's hair, whispering, "It's okay."
When you do, Bucky stiffens and stops moving for a moment, then he lets go of your arm and buries his face in your pajama-clad lap, his voice trembling when he says, "I'll move out, I swear. I'm so sorry! I'm sorry, Sweets! I didn’t mean to hurt you! I love you so much."
Steve softens immediately and pushes off the door to settle on the floor beside him, rubbing his back. “No need for that Buck,” he says softly and you echo him. “I don’t want you to leave Bucky,” you grab one of his hands and gently press a kiss to the top of it before placing it back again.
After several minutes of silence, Bucky asks angrily into your legs, "Why the fuck does it have to hurt this much.” "I don't know," you answer truthfully. "I wish I never met her, never fucked her, never fucking loved her,” Bucky continues. "No, you don't," Steve argues. "I know it might feel like you will never be happy again but it will get better." Bucky lifts his head and Steve cups his face and brushes his cheeks, even though there are no tears there.
"We love you, and we will help you with anything you need," you promise. Bucky nods and lays his head down against your legs again with Steve's hand still on his cheek.
Eventually, Steve stands up and Bucky looks at him a little worried. "Not leaving, just gonna get another blanket for the bed," he reassures him. While Steve is gone Bucky says, "I'm sorry I hurt you, I love you, Sweets, more than you could ever know." And you smile because even though you know he’s exaggerating, it’s still nice to hear him say it. "I know Bucky, I know," you whisper.
When Steve comes back he pulls Bucky to his feet and guides him into the bedroom. You check the front door before turning all the lights out, then padding over to Steve's room too. They're cuddled together, Bucky's head pressed into Steve's shoulder and you move to slide in behind Bucky, but he grabs you around the waist and pulls you down between them. It makes you giggle and there is a weak smile answering on Bucky's face before you all settle in.
There is not even a light bruise left behind on your arm the next day, but you've never seen Bucky so remorseful. In the following weeks, he accompanies you around to classes, carries your stuff, and has sworn off drinking. Both you and Steve are skeptical because Bucky is famous for his partying but in the months that follow he often goes out but always comes home sober.
One day when you're having lunch at home together on the couch, you ask him about it.
First, he puts his food down before taking hold of your utensils and placing them on the table. Then he grabs you and pulls you into his lap, hugging you so tightly you can hardly breathe.
"I never want to put you in that situation again," he explains. "What if I get angry and do something worse, to you, or Steve, or anyone else." Hugging him back as best you can you say "Maybe you should talk to a professional about it?" "I'm on a waiting list," he replies.
You cuddle into him, really trying to show him that you mean it when you say, "Bucky I'm not afraid of you, I know you didn't mean to hurt me." "Don't make excuses for me," he says and picks up a strand of your hair, twirling it between his fingers.
The moment is cut off by your phone chiming and you wiggle out of his hold. When you pull it out a smile splits your face. "Have to go," you grab another spoonful of fried rice then get up. "Who was that?" Bucky asks.
Since you’re halfway to the door you don't pick up on his tone. "Just someone I've been seeing," "What's his name?" "Loki, he's from Europe!" You turn around with a smile and throw him a kiss before you're out the door.
Bucky feels his heart break, again, only this time he has no excuse to be sad about it because you aren't his.
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wibta if i lied to my partners about studying
my partners want me to limit studying to 4 hours a day, however i always feel like shit if i don't study. i enjoy studying geniunely as a passtime and i feel like of all the hobbies possible, i'd rather spend 6 hours studying than 6 hours playing video games (i'm not saying that playing video games is bad, i'm just saying that it's not what i personally enjoy). plus i feel kinda guilty about how upset my partners seem to get when i try to set the boundary that they probably shouldn't control my time like that (they do usually respect my boundaries)
i understand that it's fucked up to lie to my partners about how much i'm studying in a day, however i do kinda feel like it's none of their business. i get they're just trying to help me but i've always been a very independant person and the few times i've actually asked for their help, they were more concerned with sexting each other to even think to respond to me having a panic attack and begging for help
i am still being healthy and i'm not sacrificing taking care of myself for studying. i sleep around 6-9 hours a day, i eat 2 meals (i often skip breakfast but it's just not my thing tbh and i always have a bigger lunch to make up for it), i walk my dog every day so i'm getting exercise, etc. only thing i'm lacking is water but that's been an issue for me since i was around 8 so it's not related to the studying, just me forgetting. i help with chores too around the house so i'm not being useless
for more context, i am 16 and i'm going to start college in a week (i am unfortunately british), so i want to be well-read. i've finished all of my college summer work. i live with my family and my relationship with my partners is long-distance. i have adhd (and Other but that's unrelated so i'm not bringing it up), which means i can get hyperfixated on things like studying and i do often enter hyperfocus about it. however, i think being in hyperfocus about learning is probably one of the best things that can happen about. i also have autism and social studies (the thing i'm studying) is my special interest
so if i lied to get them to leave me alone so i could study in peace, would that be an asshole move? if so, what should i do instead?
What are these acronyms?
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