I use violence to show my love
Because I don’t want to show who I really am for all to abuse
I use my quick witted, sharp tongue to express myself
Because I can’t take the toll of speaking my truths to them
-because then they will walk away
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Thought this was a really good quote, so here I am sharing it.
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the house shook from your
steps and your words
now my hands shake
instead of the walls
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although not everyone's going to agree, what happened to you was understandably traumatizing, and you have the right to be traumatized.
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"The trauma said, ‘Don’t write these poems.
Nobody wants to hear you cry about the grief inside your bones."
- Andrea Gibson, The Madness Vase
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“Don’t practice what you don’t want to become.”
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Trauma talk: wounds are not the same. Even from the same sources, your wounds won't always be the same, act the same, or heal the same. The things that happen to you will echo in your nervous system and impact different aspects at different levels, like a spray of bullets in different directions. Some wounds are shallow, some are deep. It's important to know how to take care of each one.
Some things are kind of like bruises: they're tender and sore to the touch, but you can touch them, and they'll clear up after a little bit. Some wounds are more like scabs: you can touch it and it feels fine, but then if you touch it too much, it'll break open, and you'll bleed.
And some wounds are like broken bones. They will take a long time to heal, and immense support to make sure it cannot grow worse. Even after it heals and the cast comes off, it will be tender and you will feel more fragile with it. Healed does not mean back to the way that it was before.
You will be different, but you will not be broken anymore.
Tender, but not broken.
Trauma leaves marks. But they will heal. They may not heal the same way, or take the same time to, or be anything like they were before. But they will heal. You will heal. Breathe.
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I remember my childhood as a long wish to be else where.
Louise Gluck
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