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buddhajesuschrusthole · 6 months

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Hey everybody on tumblr (or whatever this damn fucking app is called ) - I am not a hip youngster anymore I am 25 years old and have never used this shit!

But anyway - hello!

I will be sharing today - one of my favorite things - advice on manifesting what you want to happen for you in this lifetime!

So! Without further adue- (is that how you spell it, French people?) Here is my blog on the subject! (At least for tonight haha, today is November 17th , 2023!)

So - manifesting! Have you heard of that term? It means - “bringing into reality / making your dreams come true!”

Manifesting your dreams therefore means - you guessed it - bringing your dreams from the dream realm - into your real life realm! (Turning your fantasy into reality!)

I’m serious, dawg! It’s happened to me - so that’s how I know! - So I don’t want to hear it! Lol! Jk - but I mean it tho!

So - I have manifested many-a-thing. Including - my dream boyfriend! (YES , I mean it - like he is the LITERAL GUY I wanted for SO LONG - the man I fantasized about in bed - before it actually happened! OMG - crazy - right!? NO! Because it’s fucking real! Now listen dawg…)

So here’s the story - so - years ago - I had wished for a guy with long hair down to his ass - a gorgeous one - that I literally would marry!

(We didn’t get married yet but that’s not the point!)

Years after I wished for that (YES, YEARS AFTER), I met this guy at work - named Devon (I literally remember thinking in bed one day - years before this happened - that his name would start with a damn D?!! WTF!!) - and was soooo cute! I loved him aaaaaaaaaaa! He was literally so adorable, I can’t even tell you!

But anyway - he was my type - shy - quiet - an asshole! Hahahha - just kidding Devon, I love you! No, but - maybe a lil bit. Lmao! (Sorry baby - I love you!)

But anyway he looked exactly like the kind of guy I would want to date tbh! So ummmm, so I talked to him as much as I could, even though he scared the shit out of me! He just had this intense stare of like - hate towards everybody - lmaooo! I can’t explain it but - if you experienced it before - then you probably know what I’m talking about haha!

He was just like - very anti-social and quiet - but I liked him anyway! Every time I talked to him - he was always nice to me! So that’s good haha!

Except for that one time at work - where I asked him where the cheese was during a rush (we worked in a kitchen at BDubs) - and we went in the walk-in fridge and he started kicking shit out of anger - and then I cried because I was scared that he hated me (he didn’t see that tho…) Oopsie Devon! You bitch! Lmao! Jk - I still love you!

Except for that one time - he was a really nice guy! Ummmm, so far hahaha!

But then after two weeks of working with him he walked-out and quit! Oh no! Fuck! He was the hottest guy at work and then I was so disappointed and mad tbh, lmaooo! Mostly because I had to do his job and mine - two weeks into my new fucking job - ahhhh!!!!!

I didn’t even know how to make nachos - and they still had me do it - all by myself - even in a rush! WTF!!! I had just started!!! Those bastards couldn’t hire someone!? Fine! So I did it all by myself!!!! (I’m serious - I was so mad wtf!)

But anyway - a few months go by - then I walk out too! Cuz I’m tired of working two peoples jobs - when I literally asked them to hire my two friends - and they just wouldn’t! WTF!

So yeah! That’s why I quit that one~! Hahahaha…

But! I think a few more months go by - or weeks!? I don’t even remember hahahaha I’m so sorry - but - it wasn’t too long…

But one night - I was thinking about Devon - in bed - by myself - and I was like damn - he was so cute! I miss him! - and I was taking out loud to myself and I went “Well, if he liked me, I’m sure he’d let me know!”

AND I SHIT YOU NOT!!!! I SHIT YOU NOT - he literally followed me on my instagram - THE NEXT MORNING! LMAOOO!! NO FUCKING WAY!

Yes, it’s true - this is the fucking facts of my life y’all! It’s literally all over my old YouTube channel!

That moment is what you’d call a serendipitous synchronicity! A moment of WTF and mystery - and a moment of - how the fuck is this even happening right now!? (It kind of felt like a dream I’m NGL!)

And the rest I’m going to keep from you - because it took about a year for us to get together - but I blocked him two weeks after he followed me - because I messaged him and we started taking but then he pissed me off - so I blocked him and cried about it!

But yeah - before that happened - me and him planned to meet at the park - but we couldn’t find each other (and I had to walk there.) But that’s not why I blocked him, so - blocked him because he pissed me off because I told him I liked him - and then he told me he wasn’t ready for a relationship right now (he kept talking about his ex gf and how much he missed her prior to this - and told me that he was crying blah blah blah.) (That was his only gf so I am giving him a fucking break in this one, but still - goddamn bitch!)

They had broken up a few years prior to that so I was like - wow. But they were together for three years and I can’t even imagine being in a relationship that long - so I can’t sympathize 100 percent… but I tried, goddamn it!

But yeah - I blocked him because of that ( even though I probably shouldn’t have told him I liked him the day after he cried to me about his ex gf, I think he just needed a friend tbh - but I wasn’t being a friend - I was being a thirsty bitch! Hahaha goddamn it!)

But to be fair he was flirting with me and it really mad me angry! So yeah! Kudos to past me! Muahahahha!

But anyway - even though he was a beautiful guy - I blocked his ass and cried about it immediately after - because after I blocked him - I unblocked him but then found out that he blocked me, too. (To be fair , after I told him I liked him I went ahead and told him I would just go fuck this other guy instead (he was hot too…))

Goddamn, maybe I was a damn bitch….oh well.

But anyway!

Me and that other guy met one time (I think it was a few days after or something, but we never saw each other again, and no we didn’t fuck, just hung out and shit, didn’t even kiss the guy.)

But yeah. So that’s why I blocked him ~!

But then! After that second guy kind of hurt me because he didn’t text me back after we hung out (maybe it’s because I pointed out this girls choker in his fucking car!?) IDK if he had a gf or what but - ew.

I was like sad and shit - but then I was like - fuck men! So I stayed single after that.

I just wanted my soulmate tbh.

But honestly - the dating sites weren’t working - and I was bored.

So I messaged Devon on his Facebook account like (two to four) months after I blocked him hahaha!

He didn’t reply for two weeks - but then he saw it and replied ( I think he didn’t see it because we weren’t friends - either that or he was ignoring me but idc I understand tbh!)

But he messaged me back and we started talking - I tried not to be clingy this time - but when I wanted him to message me first - he didn’t. So I was like wow, why should I message you first if you don’t message me first!? The fuck!

But I don’t think that technique worked… because I went a few weeks without messaging him - and then I messaged him once after that and I saw that he had blocked me.

I was like “NOoOoOooO!!!” And I cried - I’m sorry I’m just a sappy lil bitch tbh - even though it’s my own fault cuz I blocked the guy first!

Hahahhaha oh lord.

But anyway - I cried for a few days because I still had a crush on him and all that… but after that happened - I told myself that he just needed time. I told myself that he was going through something and wouldn’t just block me out of nowhere for nothing. (Which ended up being the truth - he was indeed going through something.)

So - months and months and months go by - maybe six months? Seven months? I don’t know how many! Maybe five? I’m not good at math nor time - sorry folks.

But anyway - months go by - and during those months - I was vigorously masterbating to him.

Yes, I mean every damn day!

I mean it.

But anyway - I imagined him massaging me in my bed with lotion all over my back - making it nice and relaxing and romantic.

I imagined him eating me out and plowing the shit out of my vagina hole.

And I mean it, too!

Anyway - I told myself not to worry - and that if he really liked me that much - that he would unblock me eventually.

Low and behold - the day comes - I’m browsing my Facebook messenger - and I see his bubble was online!

I was like - why would his bubble be online to me if he has me blocked still - that seems dumb.

So I clicked on his bubble and it took me to his profile - which wouldn’t happen if you’re blocked. (IK you already know this, ladies and gentlemen, hahaha jk!)

But anyway - I clicked on it and I was so happy because I was like OMG no way - he finally unblocked me after how many months!?

So I didn’t message him that day - I waited for him to do - which was unrealistic and he didn’t end up doing anything - so like a week or two goes by and then I decide to message him!

I was like “Hey Devon - so - why did you block me - I thought I told you that I was going through some emotional stuff and I thought you had forgiven me for that already?”

Then he said something like “Yeah I’m sorry - I don’t really know why I did that.”

And I was like “Sure you do, buddy! I know I blocked you first and I know it’s my own fault - but I’m very sorry and I hope you understand that I liked you and wanted to be your friend - I was just going through a lot emotionally at the time.”

And he told me he understood, and he told me something along the lines of “I think you are a wonderful person - I am sorry if I hurt you - I didn’t mean to.”

And inside I felt so happy because I thought that was sweet…

So we talked - and talked - and talked - and then every day after that - I messaged him - not caring who was first to do it anymore. I guess I just liked him that much or something haha. But he always messaged me back and didn’t leave me on read or anything.

So that’s good.

So I think a month of that goes by - and then I finally ask him if he wants to hang out with me - and he says yes.

(Remember when I told you I couldn’t find him at the park? He thought I stood him up - and I thought he had stood me up, too. That was also before I told him I liked him. Probably not a good plan to tell him after that , and the fact that he cried about his ex the night before. But whatever - I was thirsty - he was hot - what can I say? LMAO And guys - he did tell me he thought I was very attractive (before I blocked him and before he blocked me lol) - so I know he didn’t think I was ugly so that’s definitely not it.)

So here is another weird coincidence : also called a serendipitous moment - also called a synchronicity - meaning that we are synchronized!

Before the day we hung out - I had asked myself - “what would that moment be like?”

So, I had imagined that moment - and guess what? The very thing I had imagined and hoped for - became the ultimate reality that day that we hung out.

To the very T.

(Which is also why it weirds me out a little - but it’s also very beautiful - if you ask me~!)

I mean to the damn T - the energy was the same - and before we hung out I hoped that he would ask to buy me a coffee (which he did ask me if he could get me one one day!) Plus - I had hoped that he would hang out with me every week after that (which he had said to me - something along the lines of: “We should make it a tradition to see each other every week, or something.”)

But yeah now we’re dating.

(We didn’t get to see each other every week after that - but we did see each other - and I am very happy that he’s a blessing in my life now. He is a dream come true and I have told him this - and he had also told me that he had sex dreams about me and about us dating before it actually happened.)

We were friends for a few months after we first hung out - and then I told him: (“What are we doing here? I like you. And I need to know if you like me too. And if not , tell me now.”)

Then he told me he was confused too and then we talked about it - and then I invited him to a sleepover. The rest is personal - but honestly we’re dating now. So the rest is history.

However, he does remind me of a character I made up in my head, whom I said had long dark hair, and who would be my husband one day.

Like I said - this was so many years ago - probably about four or so years ago that I made up that fantasy.

And I told myself he’d like to read too - which he does! Which is crazy to me! Now all I have to do is make him gothic and he will literally be the exact match to my fantasy many years ago. (He does like gothic stuff so I don’t think that’ll be too hard.)

But yeah that’s the story of me and my boyfriend - omg I missed a detail!

I remember - the day after we officially got together - the next day Devon had told me that his brother had got an engagement ring for his girlfriend and that he was going to ask her to marry her!

I just thought that was significant since - like I said - this guy reminds me of my fantasy that I had of a husband. LMAOOO!

But yeah! Thanks for reading and listening to my story! Leave a like and follow for more manifesting stories - I have lots - even scary bits! :D

Also look up my YouTube if you’re interested - Buddha Jesus Chrusthole (Infinite Butthole Jesus)!

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thefallenbibliophilequote · 3 years

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Shake It Off

Loki x Reader

1989, chapter 6

"She danced to forget him"

Summary: It's hard to find the one, but even if you do find him it's always going to be a daily struggle to make it work. Can you even make it work after he broke your heart? The answer to that is complicated, but it all started when you found each other again in the Stark Tower- and that's where our story begins.

Word count: 2,404

Warnings: as always language, Hydra, angst, mentions of and alludes to sex.

A/N: I really hope this series won't flop because I wrote all of the chapters before I started posting, and like I put so much of myself in this series- I just really hope it'll go well. This chapter is shorter because but it is much needed. I didn't post last week bc of the writers content freeze week, so here it is.

A/N2: the dividers were made by the awesome @chrissquares and @nacho-bucky beta read all of it!

No one is allowed to repost my writing or steal or copy my work! Reblog on tumblr is fine.

Series masterlist

Song on Spotify and YouTube

Steve's arms were around you as your tears stained his shirt, it must have been midnight by now. You came to his doorstep a little after Loki left you again. You knew what you were in for the second you agreed to the temporary bliss that he gave you, but you didn't expect all these old emotions to come back when he would leave you.

"I thought I'll be able to handle it. I thought it'll be worth the rush."

"It's alright darling, I know." You didn't see the angry frown between his eyebrows or his clenched jaw. He couldn't let the anger on the god get the best of him right now, you needed him more now- you needed comfort in a friend. After everything that happened, you knew you would always find safety in his embrace.

"Steve, did you know what he is?" you murmured into his neck a little while later.

"What do you mean?" pulling back he took a good look at your face, and you knew he could see every tear stain on your face and you wished you could hide yourself from him.

"That he is…" you didn't quite know how to describe it, your mind a bit fuzzy. "Blue."

"Oh, yeah we knew that."

"Wait, everyone knew that?" he started to rub your arm, the soft touch made your skin prickling from the cold with goose bumps spreading all over.

"There are a lot of things about him that you don't know Y/N, I really was just trying to protect you from him and from this pain." You nodded at him.

"I wish I'd listened to you sooner. I can't believe I didn't know anything, what else is there?"

You saw his mouth gape but no words came out.

"It's a lot, I'll tell you some other time." By the look on his face you knew you won't be getting any answers now. Nodding, you put your head back down.

"Can I stay here tonight?" you sniffled and thanked him for the tissues he gave you with a smile. You couldn't hear the answer he gave you between blowing your nose. "Can you repeat that please?"

He laughed at you but answered regardless, you were too adorable to deny.

"Of course, kid."

•

The loud beat made it hard for you to hear Natasha who was standing right next to you. It's been a couple of weeks now, and the noisy distraction of the club worked perfectly to take your mind off of anything else.

"What did you say?" you covered the top of the glass in your hand with your other hand, leaning forward to Nat.

"I said maybe we should get out of here, it's already pretty late and Wanda is drunk and you know what happens when she is drunk-"

"Things start to float and gravity is non-existent, yeah I know." You looked around the club, your eyes catching that of a dark eyed handsome man. "The two of you can go; I can take care of myself."

When you saw the two of them walk outside you went towards the beautiful gentleman.

Waking up to the sunshine you looked back at the sleeping man next to you, happy to find him still asleep you groaned at the headache when you got up. You collected your clothes from the floor, panicking for a second when he started to wake up but you quickly put him under, and you were out of the door soon after.

They never stayed, but neither did you. You heard the things people started saying about you in the Tower when they saw you coming back in the morning mostly alongside a sweaty Bucky who was back from a run and a worried Steve who tried to stay silent about how you were dealing with everything that happened.

They didn't like the amount of guys you hooked up with and left a day or so later. To you it was a nice pace but you knew the high of the alcohol and sex wouldn't last long, you needed something different. Plus, it wasn't your fault that they weren't interesting enough.

"Agent Y/N?" you heard the voice behind you coming into the room you sat in with Sam, planning the next stakeout.

"Yes? Oh hi Mike, what have you got for us?" the guy smiled at you and nodded towards the falcon.

"I have the schematics of the whole area that Agent Romanoff asked me to bring you." He handed you the folded papers and when your fingers lightly brushed his it was as if a light bulb lit up in your head.

Sitting back down you leaned forward with a smile.

"So, you said Natasha sent you to bring me these papers?" he nodded at you and you handed the papers to Sam. "Well that's very nice of you and I actually wanted to speak to you so it's a nice coincidence. Would you like to go out to dinner sometimes?"

Sam choked on his drink and made a lazy excuse to get out of the room.

"Really, you want to go out with me?" You couldn't help but actually find him cute when he wasn't as shy now as usual.

"Yeah, I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to." He flashed you a smile at that, and that's how it all started.

•

It was a month later when you walked with Mike down a park with ice cream cones in your hands. He intertwined your free hands together.

Looking at him now, it was simple to see that he is sensible and incredibly nice too, you knew he is everything a girl could dream of getting.

The two of you were close now to the Tower and the charming guy that he is he opened up the door for you to walk in first. When you were inside you kissed him goodbye as he headed back to his department from his break that he spent with you.

You turned around, only to notice Steve leaning back against the wall of the elevator, waiting for it. You cleared your throat when you got closer, not looking forward to have a talk with Steve that surely will come.

It started the moment the elevator doors closed behind the two of you.

"So, you've been dating this guy for about a month now, right?" he started casually and you only nodded.

"Mike seems like a really good guy actually, I know you didn't want to talk with me about him especially after-"

"After what?" you scoffed. "After Loki left? I have Mike now, and he is much better than him."

"Well it's good to hear you're happy now. He reminds me of the guys back in my time."

"Old?"

"Gentlemen."

"Well he is, it's only been a month but I couldn't have asked for anything better."

"According to Tony, he is an excellent employee too." The smirk on his face didn't go unnoticed.

"You did a background check on him? You can't just do that!"

"Stark and I just wanted to see some stuff. Plus, he is Tony's employee so he can do background checks anytime he likes."

"You guys are horrible." You grumbled and attempted to punch Steve's shoulder but it ended up hurting your fist. You huffed in frustration when he laughed at you.

•

Another month went by and you found yourself keeping busy whether it was with training, or missions or going out with Mike and your friends. This week though was blank of anything to do. Steve banned you from the gym, saying that you're working out too much, which caused the stubborn father and daughter to spar with the loser doing whatever the winner wanted them to do. Bucky looked exasperated at the two of you from the sides, and you heard a Thank God being murmured when Steve finally pinned you to the ground and won.

In your room you decided to clean it up a bit. By cleaning you really mean redesigning your whole room while making a total mess and reminiscing on old stuff. Going through your dresser you found some old jewelry boxes, opening one you saw old stuff you used to wear and sorting through them would probably be for the best.

That's when there was a knock at your door, turning around you saw Mike standing there.

"Oh hi, what are you doing here?"

"Captain Rogers let me up, I just wanted to see you and ask if you wanted to maybe come to my apartment after work?"

"Sorry about the mess, I'm in the middle of cleaning." You left the box jumped over piles of things to reach him and give him a soft kiss. "Yeah sure that sounds great."

"I know we said that we would take this slow, but I was kind of hoping we could take this to the next level." A boyish grin spread on his face and you felt gentle kisses as he nestled his face in your throat. "What do you say?"

"Yes. I'd love that." You kissed him back then until he had to go back to work.

Quickly, you closed all the boxes and put them back in their place, forgetting all about reorganizing. Now you have a more exciting thing to do.

•

You woke up the next day to a soft snoring behind you, and an arm wrapped around your waist. The sun was barely out yet, leaving the room with a small glow of orange and red.

You saw your dress on the floor of his room and felt the soft sheets covering you, shivering you pulled them closer and tried to close your eyes to get a little bit more rest.

"Are you sure, darling?" Loki had asked you then when the two of you were barely dressed and breathing heavily between kisses.

"I'm more than sure, Loki I want you." He stopped kissing your neck and pulled back which made you whine and pull at his shoulders.

"Do you think you can handle a god, my love?" you wished you could wipe out the smirk on his face, which is what you did when you pulled yourself up to claim his lips with yours.

"I've handled you this far, so for the love of the gods just fuck me, please." You whimpered at the end of the sentence when you felt his hands start to roam your skin.

"As you wish, my dear." Loki will forever give you anything you ask for.

You woke up with the sunshine painting the room golden as you backed up against the warm chest behind you. You've never felt this warm before, with the man who took over your heart and soul and the love marks he left on you- claiming you. You could still feel the bliss from last night engulfing you with him in this room.

"Did you sleep well?" you turned to the dark haired prince who held a smile that matched yours. Sleep still hang between his eyes.

"Perfect." He pulled you in and suddenly you weren't tired anymore.

The man next to you was still asleep when he changed his position, turning to his other side. You sank deeper into the bed, letting the memories drown you until sleep took over.

•

Yet another month flew by and you could barely remember any of it. Yes there were some successful missions against Hydra, and there were some less successful ones too. In between you went on more dates with Mike and he definitely helped you.

"So I planted a virus in his computer that changed all of his autocorrect!" you burst out laughing at the end of his story.

"And you did all of that because he stole your girl?" he nodded and you laughed harder. "No one can steal a girl, a girl leaves if she wants to. If she left you for someone else then she didn't deserve you."

Your hand was on his thigh and he put his over it with a small chuckle.

"Maybe, but I am certainly not going to let you go." He kissed your knuckles. "I've liked you for a long time you know, and not just as a colleague."

"So I've been told."

"Oh?"

"Natasha told me a little while ago, sometime before we got together. I must say I didn't notice until she said that."

"Well I am offended, oh you hurt me deeply Y/N." you pushed him away from you but brought him back for a quick peck on his cheek."

"Do you forgive me now?" he pondered about it.

"I think I might need a little more."

"I'm sure we can arrange that." Leaning in again, the phone began to ring and he leaned his forehead against yours.

"That's work."

"Always comes in the way."

"Speaks the girl who goes to week long missions!" he stood and went back a few steps.

"You chose to date that girl from your free will!"

•

You've been together for almost half a year now… shy two or three months. You couldn't help thinking how this is probably the guy that you needed, someone steady who took good care of you and made you feel cared for. He never was late, and always so attentive listening to every word you said. How can you need anything more? That was a question that pestered your brain, trying to find reason in your numb heart.

You always smiled around him, and Steve obviously approved judging from the amount of time he let him go into the Avengers quarters. You knew you were attracted to him. It was hard not to be. And yet, it wasn't just there yet- it wasn't like it was with him. It must be a good thing though.

•

"Is this all you got?"

"Sir, you have to understand- we didn't have much time to get all that we needed, we still don't know a lot." Doctor Zazu sighed at the small bunch of paper in front of him.

"Very well, for now we will work on the safe room- you better take care of it. I have enough work working on the formula for the asset." The agents nodded and the doctor turned around to look at the chair, the similarities were uncanny but he improved it, now he is sure this will work- there is no other option.

•

Tags: @ayybtch @buckys-other-punk @chaoticpete @madcrazy50 @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @the-departed-potato @rogerrhqpsody @onceupona-happilyeverafter-love @percabethismyotp14

#loki x reader #my writing #1989 #shake it off #1989 taylor's version #1989 loki's version #loki #loki odinson x reader #loki odinson #loki imagines #fanfiction #loki fanfic #loki series #loki laufeyson #loki show

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wormstacheangel · 3 years

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Smiles with a Christmas Kiss

Merry Christmas @professorerudite

Summary: Dean and Cas are left behind in the bunker on Christmas Eve. A regular movie day is planned but it slowly becomes a lot more.

It’s Christmas Eve and the bunker was quiet. It was just him and his best friend in this big place, their footsteps echoed the halls like no other time before. When it was just him and Sam the place always felt okay. It was home and it was nice but with Cas - finally human and finally staying - the place felt warm. It was a damn home again.

Jack followed Sam and Eileen on a holiday trip to Ireland. Of course, Dean had to refuse. Thinking of the long plane ride alone was making him feel sick. Though he insisted Cas should tag along with them - go see the world and all that jazz - he didn’t budge. Insisting he just wants to stay in the bunker.

Dean didn’t argue. It was nice not to be alone during the holiday season but at the same time, he hoped Cas didn’t stay behind just for him. Dean would have done what he always did for Christmas. Go to a bar full of lonely people and find someone, or someone’s, to have some fun holiday party on a motel bed.

Well, that’s what he would like to think he would have done, heck maybe a long time ago he would have done just that, but now it’s different. He hasn’t gone to a bar looking to hook up with anyone in years and he wasn’t going to start now. After throwing excuse after excuse at himself about why his libido just went into a downward spiral, fighting God and all that shit really wasn’t a good excuse for him apparently, it all came down to one angel. Well, person now.

“Good morning, Dean.” Cas walked into the kitchen, dragging his bunny slippers across the cold floor and towards the coffee machine.

Dean watched as Cas poured himself a big mug full and then sat across from him on the kitchen table to join him. Dean already had the sugar and creamer on the table, prepared for Cas who always gets up a few minutes after him.

As soon as he took a sip he smiled into his mug and Dean rested his chin on the palm of his hand as he watched. Enjoying the way Cas’s eyes crinkle at the side when he smiled with his eyes closed. He even shivered just a little as the hot drink ran down his body, holding the hot mug in between both his hands and close to his face.

“Morning, Sunshine.” Dean finally tells him as Cas placed his mug down on the table to smile back at him.

He could live like this for the rest of his life. As much as Dean wanted more, he was okay with this. Having Cas like this. Seeing him like this. Shaggy hair that curls up at the tips and stubble that was already too long but must feel so good against Dean’s skin. Cas’s baggy sweatpants that fall too low on his hips and Dean’s old band tees that were exclusively worn for sleep cling to his muscled frame.

Cas was just art that he could enjoy looking at but not touch. At least not the way he dreams to touch.

A happy sigh escapes Cas’s lips as he rolls his shoulders back and reaches for the untouched toast on Dean’s plate. “Merry Christmas Eve by the way.” He took a bite of the toast with butter and then made a face before he reached for the jam. Sweet tooth. He took another bite before he started talking with his mouth full. “I know you don’t celebrate but I still hope we can watch that movie you wanted to show me.”

Dean hummed in response as he sat up straighter, reaching for his coffee to have his hands do something. “We can do that.”

“Which reminds me we also need to go grocery shopping. We’re running low on supplies.”

“Cookies?”

“Exactly.” Cas winked at him.

Dean laughed and it always felt like he was floating when it was Cas who made him laugh. Yeah, he can live like this. If he can have these mornings everyday then he can live with Cas as his friend.

Grocery shopping took a while even though the place was mostly empty. Dean had a list and Cas kept ignoring it to add random junk he wanted to taste. Some of the stuff Dean hasn’t even tasted himself, “Then we can experience it together.” Was all Cas said and Dean couldn’t argue with him on that.

“What do people do on Christmas Eve?” Cas asked when they walked back to the car to load the groceries. “That child looked at us with pity when we told him we didn’t have any plans for today.”

“Dude, how am I supposed to know?”

“You know more than me.”

“The last real Christmas I had - I was three, Cas.” Dean opened the trunk of the Impala to start stuffing the bags. “Plus, I’m pretty sure that I imagine all those happy memories I had with my Mom and Dad.”

“I’m sure some were real, Dean.” Cas placed the last of the bags in the trunk as he looked at him with a small smile. Pity smile. “You’re Mother loved you so I’m sure she would have done her best to give you-”

“Cas,” Dean sighed as he closed the trunk with a loud thud. “I just want to watch some movies and sit on the couch with you and a tray full of nachos. I don’t want to psychoanalyze my childhood.”

“Ah.” Cas nodded, another smile. This one was softer and warmer. A smile that felt reserved for just Dean. Cas’s cheeks were even rosy from the cold wind piercing through their many layers. “Understood. I’ll take the cart back and you start the car then.”

Dean watched Cas walk away, scratching the back of his head when he saw him walk back into the grocery store. He was going to go after him but decided to do what he was told and just start the car. Maybe they needed a quick getaway.

Cas returned a few moments later with nothing in his hands.

“Dude, what the hell?”

Cas just shrugged and put his hands up to the heater. “Thank you for waiting for me.”

That was the only response he knew he was going to get from his angel - oh wow! Not his. Not even a damn angel anymore.

Dean drove them home while Cas turned on the radio. Tapping his fingers on his knee to the beat of the music. Dean wondered how Cas would react if he just reached over and twined their hands together but instead he gripped the steering wheel tighter.

It was already late when Dean called Cas over to watch the movie. He was going to go with Die Hard, his childhood Christmas movie he watched with Dad, but Dean had a feeling that Cas wanted a movie where it was actually about Christmas. So he picked his other childhood Christmas movie. A Christmas Story.

Cas walked in, his blanket already in tow, and took a seat on one end of the couch. Dean sat on the other with the nachos tray right in between them. Cas sat with his legs crossed and tucked into a corner, almost facing Dean, while he reached into the food before the movie even began to play.

“So you watched this as a kid?” Cas said, mouth full and head tilted as Dean settled on his side of the couch.

“Yup.” Was all Dean said as he handed Cas a beer and pressed play.

It was only the first few minutes when Ralph walked in with a full cowboy getup that Cas laughed and when he met Dean’s curious eyes, enjoying every second of that rare laugh. Cas pointed at Ralph and then him. “Dean that’s you.” He laughed harder as soon as the words left his mouth and Dean hit him with a pillow.

The nachos were moved to the table in front of them, where Dean had his feet propped up.

Cas continued to make little comments as the movie went on.

“Ah, reminds me of that whoopee cushion prank you did on me.” Cas noted as he took a sip of beer.

“All of that for a damn tongue on a pole?” Cas sounded so annoyed that Dean spits out his beer laughing.

They somehow moved closer on the couch with every little comment Cas made. From the mention of yellow eyes. To ask what was put in Ralph’s mouth after he said fudge. (“Dude he said fuck.” “So? You say it all the time.” “I’m a grown man.” “Oh. Children can’t say it?”)

As soon as Ralph said son of a bitch Cas was somehow already shoulder to shoulder with Dean. He laughed, his shoulders shaking, before turning to look at Dean with that big smile again. Dean never thought anybody could look as beautiful as Cas did when he grinned at him like that.

“Dean, I told you that’s you.” He smiled and Dean didn’t have it in him to argue, even as a joke. Instead, he nodded, smiling back at Cas, while his grinch heart grew three sizes.

This was supposed to be a safe nonromantic movie but Dean hasn’t watched it in a while. He forgot the ending when the parents sat in the dark, just like they were in now, and enjoyed the snow falling. With only the Christmas lights shining.

A few years ago he wouldn’t have thought it was romantic - there was no kissing or grunting in this scene what so ever- but the soft touches is what he craves now. He was already so close to Cas as it is. Feeling the warmth radiate off his best friend while his blanket was now over both their laps, he doesn’t even remember when that happened.

He was already so close. Dean could turn his head and his nose could be buried in Cas’s hair, the smell of nature still follows Cas around, and he could hold him. Hold him like he has always wanted to hold Cas, with no immediate danger or death hanging over them. He just wanted to hold Cas because he wanted to hold him. No reason.

Cas leaned into him a little more, untucking his feet from underneath him so he could lay them flat on the ground. Dean noticed every fidget of Cas’s fingers and he wondered if Cas was uncomfortable with the closeness but then in a sudden move Cas had an arm around Dean’s shoulders. Cas cleared his throat as he squeezed Dean’s shoulder closer to him - trying to act like this was a normal thing for them- while Dean stared at him with wide eyes.

Dean couldn’t find the words. He wanted to say some dumb joke or push Cas off but he stopped himself. Instead, he relaxed under the touch and leaned into it.

“Oh, um, the movie ended.” Cas cleared his throat while he started to pull his hand away.

“I’ll, um, I’ll just - let me pick another one.” Dean reached for the remote and picked a random movie in the Christmas category and pressed play. Then he leaned back into the couch again and Cas’s arm was around him again.

Dean doesn’t remember how many movies they watched that night or how he ended up falling asleep on a couch too small to hold two grown men. But he didn’t care because now he had Cas’s fingers making small circles on his back and the touch was so gentle.

“Merry Christmas, Dean.” Cas must have known he woke up.

So Dean folded his arms over Cas’s chest and looked down at him. He could feel the dumb smile on his mouth. “Merry Christmas, Cas.”

“I know it’s customary to give gifts now.” Cas started reaching for something on the floor while Dean opened his mouth to argue but Cas looked at him with those just-shut-up-Dean raised eyebrows so he listened. “It’s something small I got at the grocery store so I’m sorry it’s not something you may want but I believe you deserve a Christmas gift, Dean.”

They both sat up when Cas pulled out a small shiny gift bag with a Christmas tree right out front. Dean wondered when Cas even had time to get this or sneak it in as he sat crisscross back on the couch while Cas copied him. Handing over the present with a wry smile.

“I didn’t even get you anything, Cas.” Dean started saying, hesitant to get the present.

Cas shrugged. “You can make it up to me later. Now take it.”

Dean took it and it didn’t even have tissue paper to hide what was inside. Dean laughed as he pulled out a few Reese’s shaped like a Christmas tree, some DVD of a movie he hasn’t even heard of so it must be new, and a gift card for Dominos pizza.

“These are great, Cas.” Dean laughed looking down at his gifts. “Looks like you already planned our next date night.”

“I did?” Cas looked down at his presents before looking back at Dean with wide eyes. “Date night?”

“I mean, only if you want to-”

“I want to!” Cas quickly leaned into Dean’s space again and he probably didn’t mean to lean in so close but Dean was also not thinking as he met him halfway to press their lips together. It was just a quick kiss before they pulled apart.

Dean didn’t say anything as they sat back on their seats. Staring at anything but each other.

Cas cleared his throat. “Was that my Christmas gift?”

Dean chuckled. “Yeah, I’m cheap.”

“Can I have another gift then?” Cas asked, leaning his head down so he could catch Dean’s downward gaze. He was blushing -fuck he was blushing- as he smiled at him again and Dean was taken back to that morning. Where he thought that he could live with just having that smile in his life but now he knows how that smile felt against his own.

Dean only nodded once before Cas fell back into him. Their lips smashing together into a grinning kiss, teeth smacking together, as Dean wrapped his arms around Cas’s waist to pull him closer. Then he pulled away just enough to kiss Cas again, slowly as he took everything in. Cas’s weight on his lap. Cas’s fingers on his face while he held the back of his neck. The soft noises Cas kept making at the back of his throat as they moved against each other that was making Dean crazy.

He can have this. Can have Cas and it was a damn Christmas miracle that Cas was dumb enough to want Dean the same way. And fuck his stubble did feel great against his skin.

“Merry Christmas, Cas.” Dean said when they pulled apart to breathe, their foreheads touching.

Cas grinned, a small laugh shook his body and Dean felt every shake that was in his arms. “Merry Christmas, Dean.”

Thanks @destielsecretsanta2020 for this fun project!

#Destiel #Deancas #Supernatural #SPN #A More Profound OTP #My Writing #Christmas Fic #destiel christmas #spn christmas fic #destiel fanfic #destiel fic #destiel frist kiss #destiel ficlet #first kiss #fluff #sorry had to post early just in case I can't tomorrow #hope you don't mind!#WormstacheWrites

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sweater-daddiesdumbdork · 4 years

Text

Home Sweet Home: 112 Ocean Ave

Summary- 2.6k Andy Barber x You. You and Andy almost have it all, married and with a jointed family consisting of Andy’s teenage son Jacob, as well as your two younger children John and Cassidy. Looking to add another member, your family is in need of a bigger house, a forever home. You find just the place, 112 Ocean Avenue in Amityville Long Island. Home Sweet Home

Written for @optimistic-dinosaur-nacho Spooky Scary Stories challenge. Divider by @firefly-graphics

Warnings- swears, implied smut, mentions of murders.

A/N- I chose Amityville Horror for the challenge because its one of my favorite Spook Stories growing up. When reading you will find a lot of similarities to the 2005 Movie, some of the scenarios and dialogue are specifically from that film. Other parts of it are from the book itself. The family name was changed for my own personal reasons. Happy Haunting! 🎃

Masterlist

You scrolled through your phone, double checking the address. “Andy it should be up the next couple streets. Lakeside.” You couldn't hold back the excitement in your tone, and Andy hit the blinker to turn down Ocean Avenue.

“Babe, don't get too excited.” Andy tried to talk reason with you, his fingers thrumming on the steering wheel. “If it's too good to be true, it probably is.”

You shifted over as much as you could, the Audi middle armrest keeping you from curling up into his side, but you could rest your head on his bicep. “Come on Andy, this might just be what we've been looking for. Good school district, excellent location, nice neighborhood, enough room for all three of the kids.”

Andy tilted his head a bit to look down at you, his eyes softening around the edges as he finally smiled, you were so excited for this that it was hard not to match your enthusiasm. His hand released the steering column to take your hand, weaving his fingers through your hand, he let your hands rest against his lap. “You know Y/N, if this place is as big as what the pictures show, we could finally try for our own baby.”

Wiggling your brows, you nuzzled his arm before sitting up. “I know Andy, why else do you think I want this place. Five bedrooms. It's perfect. Jacob can have a room to come home to when he comes and stays with us when he's not with Laurie. Cassidy and John each have their own bedrooms, and future little Barber Bean will have a cute nursery.” Your voice wandered as your gaze turned towards the window, watching beautiful homes pass you two by. Homes you never would have dreamed possible, million dollar homes on a lake. When you got the ping on your phone for 112 Ocean Avenue being lowered in price, you dreamed about the possibility of it. Then it lowered again, and you started to get hopeful. Then this last price drop, taking off another $30,000 dollar, you squealed in bed. Effectively waking Andy with a jolt, startling him.

Now here you were, going to look at what will be your dream home, the perfect home. The forever home for you and Andy. Andy would probably scoff at you just knowing this, since he didn't believe in fate. But you did, fate after all was how you met the DA in a bar when you both needed each other in a dark time, and had fallen in love. So fate now was leading you here, to your and Andy’s new start in life. It could be a dream come true. You had enough belief for both of you.

Suddenly a big white house filled your vision, and you glanced at the address on the GPS. “Andy, there it is! Look at it.” You said excitedly, and Andy slowed the car, pulling to the curb to lean a bit into the passenger side, looking out your window to gaze at the house, giving a small whistle.

“Okay Sweetheart, I agree. This place looks nice. Too nice, are you sure that price is right?”

“Yes, I double checked with the realtor when I called them last week. It's really the right price.”

Andy straightened in his seat, and turned into the long driveway. “That true Honey, this is the deal of a lifetime.”

You grinned excitedly, just about bouncing in your seat. Andy’s hand reached over, sliding his hand along your thigh before taking your hand, weaving his fingers with yours and giving a gentle squeeze. You knew that he was also excited now.

When Andy pulled up to the house, the realtor waited for them on the front steps, clutching her phone to her chest and gave a smile. The kind a dealer who's looking to make a fast sale gives. “Welcome, I had hoped you all would be able to find the place easily. Magnificent isn't it? Built around 1910, the foundation is original, but all updated while keeping its original charm. Shall we go inside?” She dangled the keys and you with wide eyed enthusiasm nodded. Andy draped his arm over your shoulder, nodding in agreement.

The realtor showed them right inside, bustling them inside as she shut the door. “As you see, lots of beautiful lighting, the kitchen has been all updated. The marble counter tops were just installed not even two years ago.” She clasped her hands together and kept a smile plastered on her face while you and Andy wandered into the entrance of the house, looking around. Andy’s head tilted back while looking for any kind of possible damage while you took a step or two on the stairs, and leaned against the banister. “What are you thinking Andy?” you wiggle your nose at him, and he glances at you, you can see him hiding a smile, and he stuffed his hands in his pockets, humming lightly while looking around once more before answering. “The entrance way looks nice, spacious. But I want to look over the rest of the house.”

“Of course, if you come this way to the sitting room. Perfect for get togethers, children's sleepovers, family game nights. Do you… two have any children?” she flashed a toothy grin, and you wandered away from Andy a moment while he addressed the realtor. “Yes, Y/N has two smaller children, and I have a teenage son.”

“How nice! Then this really would be perfect for living a family life.” she continued on while Andy followed her in, you waited a moment, then stepped away yourself, going the opposite way. You could still hear the realtor's voice, but you paid no heed. You already knew that this was home. You already could see yourself with a new baby on your hip, redecorating room by room. Andy would be able to set up a home office to work from. You might even be able to write that book you wanted. The kids would settle in, Jacob could come home on weekends from college, holidays the whole family could get together and everything you were picturing was the dream.

Your dream and you hoped Andy's dream as well.

Your fingers slid along the cool marble counters once you reached the kitchen, and looked around at the new appliances installed. You grasped the large kitchen sink, and peeked out the back window to see the lake view, catching your breath. Large old maple trees adorned the lake edge, and there was a boat house at the end of the deck. Could this place get any better?

“Y/N?” you heard Andy coming up from behind you, the click of heels against the floor told you the realtor was right on your husbands tail when he entered the kitchen. Looking around, he gave a low whistle of approval. “Nice.”

You spun and couldn't hide the grin. “Isn't it? Andy…” You gave a soft whine, and he hugged around you, shushing you in your ear a moment before turning towards the realtor.

“Basement? I plan on converting it into a temporary office for now until we're settled.” Andy asked and the realtor turned around and opened a door, flicking on a light.

“Go on ahead and look around.” She looked down the dark stairs and took a cautious step back, her voice wavering slightly. “I’m- uh- gonna just stay up here.”

Andy walked past her, and you followed him, the both of you going down the stairs. Once you both got to the bottom, Andy looked around all the corners. It seemed dry, clean, and had all the usual things that made up a basement. “Yup, it’s a basement.”

You leaned onto him a moment and chuckled. “You sound so excited Mr.Barber.”

Up above them, the realtor said in her overly cheerful voice. “So what do you two think?”

Andy arched a teasing brow and looked you up and down. “I think you look foxy in that skirt.”

“Andy!” you hissed as you pushed lightly against his chest and started back up the stairs. He was right behind you and his hand slapped against your backside teasing before you two came back out in the kitchen.

The rest of the tour went decent, the upstairs had more than enough bedrooms for everyone, closet space, the works. Even now Andy was getting a bit more on board with the prospect of buying this house, and you were sure he was going to give in. Your tour ended back in the main foyer, and Andy excused you two to talk a moment. He pulled you into the living room, sure to give you two enough space not to be overheard.

“You really want this house Y/N?” his hands reached for yours and weaved your fingers together. “It will mean some sacrifices, because it's still on the high end of our price range, but we can do it.” He assured you, and you shuffled a foot back and forth while thinking about it.

“I want to, Andy, I feel like this is the right place for us. It has everything we wanted and then some. I can see us being happy here.”

That was all it took, Andy gave a smile and nodded in agreement, and you couldn't help the excited yelp, jumping into his arms, hugging around his neck and legs around his slender waist. The realtor with a look of panic came running around the corner of the entrance and put her hand to her chest in relief.

“Were all happy then?”

You grinned happily as you slid back to the floor, and Andy wrapped an arm around your shoulders. “I think we're ready to put an offer on it.”

“Well, let me call my office and see about drawing up some papers.” She seemed to be relieved, and once you all were ushered outside, she closed the door firmly. Andy walked down the path a short ways, and turned around to look up at the expansive house, his hand rubbing at his beard in a thoughtful way. The largest purchase he’s made so far, but something was still bugging him about it.

“Okay, what’s the catch with this place? I looked up what other listings go for in this area. None of them are nearly in such a nice location, or this size, and they are twice the price of this house.” When the realtor hesitated, Andy cleared his throat. “By law you're required to tell us if anything has happened here we should be aware of.” You suddenly could feel your heart sinking a bit at the realtors' crestfallen face.

“Okay… There was a tragedy- a family was murdered here.” You gasped and the realtor continued. “But that was a long time ago, everyone in the town has moved on. Plus it's a house, a beautiful house just made to have a family in it and become a home. Why let one bad time ruin your decision? You will not find a nicer home in the area, that I can guarantee.”

Andy took a deep breath and looked up at the house again, and you tugged lightly on his jacket. “Can we still? would it be too weird to live in a house where a family was murdered?”

“Baby, it's not the house's fault. House’s don't kill people, people kill people. Trust me, I've worked enough cases to know.” Andy glanced down at you. “Would you be able to be okay with it?”

You let it sink in, and you never had to find out the details honestly. You didn't want to know, you just couldn't let your dreams slip away by something that happened in the past.

“Let's do it Andy, we can make a better story for this house. Our story.”

Later that night, you and Andy have just told the kids that they were indeed buying a house, and showed them pictures of it. After the two smaller ones were in bed, you and Andy were curled up on the couch, watching a tv show. Jacob was nearby on his phone, looking at the pictures he asked you to send him earlier.

“This house is huge, way bigger than this one or the one Mom has.” Jacob happened to remark, and Andy nodded.

“It really is Jake, and it's by the college you want to attend. Y/N and I were talking about it on the way home, and if you just wanted to stay with us rather than live on campus, you would save lots of money.” You nodded in agreement while Andy continued. “No rent, you just gotta help around the house a bit.”

Jacob looked thoughtful at the offer you and his father was making, and he finally nodded. “That actually would be great guys, thanks. At least the first year.” He went back to his phone, and you hid a grin against Andy’s arm, both of you pleased that he was so eager to take up the offer. He might not be your son, but you cared for him just as much as either of your children.

Jacob soon yawned and stretched. “Catch y'all in the morning.”

Andy gave a nod and you yawned sleepily as well, but opted to stay right where you were. “Night Jakey.” You said, and he gave a wave as he headed up the stairs to the bedroom he shared with your son.

It was quiet for a while before Andy kissed the top of your head, and you looked up at him. “Excited Baby?”

You bit your lip and shifted to sit up more, pushing him back against the couch, and lifting your leg over his to straddle him while cupping his face. “Want me to show you just how excited I am Handsome?” your brows wriggled and his hands gripped your hips gently and tilted his head.

“Think we're not going to get caught?” Andy said in a hushed voice and you tilted to look up the stairs, noticing all the lights were off.

“We’re safe.” You giggled and covered your lips with his, brushing up against him with a soft moan.

You were more than happy to show him just how excited you were.

Later that night, when everyone was sound asleep, Andy eased out of bed, sure to make sure you were covered. Making his way down to the kitchen, he grabbed his laptop and started it up while moving to sit down. Quickly he pulled up google, and typed in the new house's address. Whatever happened wouldn't change his mind. But Andy liked to know what exactly he was moving his family into.

What pulled up was horrific. Pulling up crime scene photos of the family who lived in 112 Ocean Ave years ago, he wasn't shocked to see splatters of blood across the master bedroom that would soon be yours, or the torn apart children's beds with holes blown through the mattresses. It wouldn't be the first time he's seen this kind of evil in the world with his work. Rubbing his hand against his chin in thought, his eyes scanned through the article. What he wasn't expecting was the oldest Deffor son, 24 named Ronnie was the killer.

He had gone through with a rifle at 3:30 in the morning, starting with his parents and then moving onto his siblings. “Oh god.” Andy muttered as he read the details logged, the man claimed he was told to by a demon. Pushing back from his seat, just staring at the picture of Ronnie being taken out by the police, Andy couldn't look away from his eyes, bloodshot and wild. They bothered Andy to look at, imagining how terrified the children must have been to see their brother staring at them like that, from the end of a rifle. Reaching over to close the laptop, and cut off the pictures, he sighed.

People kill people, the house is perfectly fine. Telling himself this, he put away his laptop and went back upstairs to join you again. You muttered in your sleep and eased back into his arms.

#home sweet home #DinoScaryStories2020 #andy barber #andy barber au #andy barber x reader #andy barber x you #amityville horror #amityville #amber writes #sweater writes

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skullkid1410 · 3 years

Photo

"We are in this together Brodie. Just you and me"

Brodie and Paxton met each other on an orphanage where they spent a big deal of their lives together. The orphanage was far from being the best one, and Brodie isnt the kind of kid you can tame easily. Reckless and too independent for his own good, He always lived by his own rules and decided it was time to leave.

“I don’t need a stupid family to come and save me. Nobody wants to adopt teenagers and you know what? I’m no fuckin lady in distress and I dont need them, I can take care of myself - Always did and always will”

Paxton was the funny little kid that would follow him around, everywhere he went. Brodie would be annoyed at first, but somehow in his heart, feelings of love and care started to grow. He would watch out for him and protect him from the bullies of the orphanage. He would give him his meals when the food was too little. He would embrace him in his chest when the nights were too cold, and sing him to sleep when he woke up from nightmares. Brodie loved Paxton as if he was his younger brother - the closest thing he had from a real family. And Paxton knew that, as dangerous as the streets could be for two young and unprotected kids, with brodie by his side he would be safer than anywhere in the world. So he decided to runaway with him.

"You must be insane to think that I'll let you go alone Brodie. Never in a lifetime! I'm with you man, wherever you go I'll follow. We are in this together"

In order to eat, they would search for scraps. Any valuables they could find, would be changed for some coins.

Sometimes they would also try to beg. That was the worst scenario tho, since they knew chances of getting food for free were too low.

And of course, begging was WAY easier for Pax. Who in the world can resist those puppy blue eyes?

But luck drains out sometimes, and the main course of the day would be an empty stomach

“Man, those nachos seems to be delicious. Why people deny helping others even when they can?”

But life in the city is not just about starving or missing a roof above your head. Paxton and Brodie are troublemakers by nature, and they were always pranking and goofing around, in order to keep themselves entertained.

“Here’s the plan Pax: see that bald dude over there? Ask him for directions and keep him talking. I’ll sneak behind and pull his underwear”

And some beautiful surprises could be found all around, in every single corner

But the nights on the city are cold

and tough

and cops are not really fond of homeless kids, especially troublemakers like them.

"I swear if i see you both trying to steal on the spice market again JESUS CHRIST I'll BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU TWO, fuck it that you are just kids. San Myshuno is not a place for scum like you".

Brodie started feeling very upset with how bad things were going for them on the city. It was their third stop since they fled from the orphanage, and he started missing the things they left behind, like his warm bed, the hot showers, even the bullies and the undercooked food.

But paxton reminded him of an old man they met on the subway once, telling them about the place of his childhood - a small and idyllic town, nestled between rocky shores and tall green mountains, where people are warm and always willing to share a plate of food. Brindleton Bay

"Wasn't your dream to see the coast Brodie? We can make it! Of course, things won't be easy on us, they never were. But come on, there's got to be a place in this world for us"

"You know what Pax, I think you are right. Screw San Myshuno. Maybe we could find a spot in the woods, start farming you know? Build us our own place. Just me and you. How does that sound?"

"That would be a dream come true Brodie. We got this...

...I can tell”

they would have to be brave once more and take a chance. There's a boat leaving the docks on the first hour of the next morning. That would be their golden ticket to a new chance of starting over

"Us against the world my man, us against the world"

"Wild at Heart" evolves around the lifes of three families from completely different backgrounds, whose paths end up crossing on the highroads of life. A story of love and hope, but also pain and sadness.

I started writing mainly because I love to write AND to play. I would only share them with the dearest Dunkin at first. But he really motivated me to go ahead and share them with the world. So here I am!

I have ZERO pretentions of this becoming big. I don't even expect anybody to read them besides me and D. But if you found my simblr and gave my stories a chance, gosh, you already made my day.

The sims I'll use in this story, some are my creations, other Dunkin's (You can even think of my story as a "Spin Off" of his world haha). Unfortunatelly I won't be sharing any for download. BUUUUUT you can check Dunkin's GOOOOORGEOUS creations right on the link below. You might even find some familiar faces there ;)

Link to Dunkin's CC - https://creamlattedream.tumblr.com/

Link to Dunkin's story Simblr. Some people just have it all you know. And Dunkin's writing is AS GOOD as his creation skills are - https://asliceofcakesimblr.tumblr.com/

Now, enough of chit chat. Let's jump straight to the chapter 1

#the sims 4 #the sims #sims 4 #sims 4 stories #simblr #sims 4 blog #ts4 #sims 4 gameplay #game #gaming #gamer #skullkid1410 #wild at heart

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wayward-dreamer · 4 years

Text

Strength To Let It Show

Pairing: Dean x Female!Reader

Word Count: 3,758

Warnings: Angst. Swearing, some sexual talk/thoughts about the other person, drinking, unrequited feelings, denial of feelings. (I think that’s it!)

Summary: Y/N and Charlie have a girls’ night in, where Y/N gets drunk and can’t stop complimenting Dean. On their brothers’ night out to the bar, Dean gets drunk and can’t stop complimenting Y/N. They’ve never acknowledged their feelings to each other, and Charlie and Sam are sick of it. They devise a plan, giving them enough time for feelings to be revealed. But will Dean and Y/N take the opportunity to tell each other how they feel? Based on this anonymous request: “Dean and reader get drunk, all they do is complement each other but when they’re sober, they deny their obvious feelings.”

Story title comes from “Can’t Fight This Feeling” by REO Speedwagon!

A/N: I had a lot of fun writing this, I enjoy writing a little angst every now and then. Hope you guys enjoy it; please let me know what you think! :)

It wasn’t often that Y/N got to spend some quality girl time with someone. So, when Charlie called, she invited her over to have a girls’ night in a couple of days, while Sam and Dean went out to a bar. She missed Charlie and it would be great to catch up with her.

Dean walked into the kitchen, as he shrugged his jacket on. Y/N stood at the kitchen table and collected ingredients for the margarita’s she planned on making for her and Charlie.

“You sure you don’t wanna come with me and Sammy?” he asked, as he eyed what she was doing.

Y/N smiled, shaking her head. “Positive. Charlie’s going to be here soon with the food, so say your ‘hi’s’ and then out. Okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. Okay. Jeez, so eager to get rid of me. Should’ve known you wanted alone time with Charlie for a reason” he teased.

“Dean!” she squealed, as she reached over and smacked his arm.

Dean grinned as he shook his head. “Just kidding, sweetheart. I know you’ve got a big ol’ crush on me.”

“In your dreams, Winchester” she groaned.

She had no idea how right she was about that. Before Dean could respond, they heard the heavy Bunker door open, squeaking loudly.

“Hola bitches!” they heard Charlie call out.

Dean walked out of the kitchen to go meet Charlie. Y/N didn’t follow behind him straight away, as she thought about what he said. He may have only been teasing her, but he was right. She did have a crush on him. More than a crush; she was in love with him and had been since they first met. She just never mustered up the courage to tell him.

They met on a werewolf case, one that Y/N had been handling alone. She had killed it but not before the son of a bitch had scratched her upper arm, deep. The boys found her and insisted on bringing her back to their motel room to patch her up. One look at Dean’s green eyes and she was done for. As he patched her up, he was gentle, caring, and told her stupid jokes to distract her from the pain.

She hunted alone a couple more times after that, but the boys eventually convinced her to join them. That was now 5 years ago. In that time, she and Sam had become close, like brother and sister. She and Dean had become close too, and while she did consider him her best friend, Dean was a lot more, too.

She loved him, but she couldn’t tell him. It was never going to happen, so why should she embarrass herself by telling him the truth?

Y/N walked out of the kitchen, down the hall and into the war room. Sam and Dean were talking to Charlie. There were bags of take-out on the map table. Charlie noticed her come in and beamed.

“Hey!” she exclaimed as she hugged Y/N tightly.

Y/N grinned as she let go. “How was the drive?”

“Shockingly, not tiring. I think I’m finally getting used to driving all the way out here” Charlie replied, starting to take the boxes out of the bags.

“Glad to hear it” Y/N smiled.

“Alright, we got… nachos, tacos and quesadillas” Charlie said, pointing to the boxes.

Y/N hummed as she smelled everything; she couldn’t wait to dig in.

“Alright, we’re gonna get out of here. Leave you two to swap stories, braid each other’s hair” Dean said, checking his wallet and phone.

“Have fun” Y/N said, simply. She looked at Sam, with a pointed look. “That means you too.”

Sam shook his head, a small smile on his face. “I will, don’t worry.”

“Make good decisions!” Charlie called out as the boys walked up the stairs.

“Always!” Sam called back.

Y/N watched as Dean walked through the doorway. The door closed behind them and Y/N turned to Charlie. Charlie smiled as she watched Y/N looking at Dean. She was so obvious.

“Alright, you take a load off, put your stuff away. I’ll finish making the margarita’s and then we can eat” she said, as she picked up the boxes.

“And after the food, you’re going to tell me everything I know you’re hiding from me” Charlie said, knowingly.

Y/N frowned. “What?”

“Don’t even try to deny how you feel, Y/N. I want all the details” Charlie replied, as she picked up her duffle and walked out of the room.

“Great” Y/N mumbled, shaking her head.

She was going to need more than one pitcher of margaritas.

-x-

Dean and Sam walked into their usual haunt, the bar filled with locals and some college kids. Dean took one look at them and scoffed; maybe he could hustle the Abercrombie wannabes later. Right now, he needed a drink. He walked up to the bar where Donny was working.

“Hey guys. Usual?” Donny asked, wiping down the bar.

Dean shook his head, as he sat down on a bar stool. Beer wasn’t going to cut it tonight. “Whiskey first.”

“Jeez, Dean. Starting with whiskey… something’s up” Donny said, picking up the whiskey and pouring a double.

“Something’s always up, Donny” Dean mumbled, as he picked up the whiskey.

Donny poured Sam a double too and slid it over to him.

The boys clinked their glasses together, but Sam watched on as Dean downed it like a shot. He tapped the glass, signalling to Donny for another. He supposed his brother was starting early.

“What’s the plan, Dean? Get drunk before you start flirting?” Sam laughed, taking a sip. Dean usually paced himself through the night in order to be on his game to flirt, so this was unusual. Even for him.

Dean downed another double. “Nope, no flirting tonight, Sammy. Just… forget it.”

“Dean” Donny said, getting his attention. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d said this is about a woman.”

Dean rolled his eyes. Damn bartenders and their so-called therapy. He looked at Sam, who was smiling into his glass.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say this is about Y/N” Sam smiled, knowingly.

Dean nearly choked on his drink. He coughed a few times, the whiskey burning his throat. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yeah, sure” Sam scoffed. “Dean, come on, man. It’s been 5 years of you being crazy about her, ignoring it with alcohol and hook-ups. You don’t think I can see it?” Sam asked, turning on his stool to face Dean.

Dean shook his head. “Shut up, Sam.”

“Gotta say, I agree with Sam on this one, Dean. You guys have been coming in here for 5 years, and every time she’s here with you, you just strategically tell the guys she’s flirting with to fuck off” Donny chimed in.

“You’re both insane” Dean mumbled. “I’m gonna go hustle.”

Dean got up from the bar and picked up his drink. He walked over to the pool table, ready for a distraction. Booze and pool. It would have to do. It would have to be distracting enough to stop thinking about Y/N. That being said, it was a hard task because she was always on his mind. As much as he tried to deny it, he had been crazy about her since the night they met.

-x-

Y/N polished off the last bite of her quesadilla and sat back. She swirled the margarita around, and tipped her head back, drinking it down. Charlie sat in the same position across from her. They had dinner in the library, spreading the food out across the table.

“That was amazing” Y/N smiled. “Thanks, Charlie.”

Charlie nodded with a content smile on her face. “No problem. Man, I’m stuffed!”

“Me too” Y/N muttered. “But I think we can handle a few more marg’s right?”

Charlie laughed. “Definitely.”

Y/N got up and took the pitcher with her, walking out of the library. Charlie followed her into the kitchen and watched as she started putting stuff in the blender.

“So… I wanna ask you something” Charlie said, as she leaned against the doorway.

Y/N looked at her and smiled. “Shoot.” She poured tequila into the blender.

“How long have you been crushing on Dean?” Charlie asked, without missing a beat.

Y/N turned around, a look of shock and confusion on her face. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Oh, come on, Y/N. I saw you checking him out as he was leaving. I don’t blame you, the man is gorgeous, even I can see that” Charlie replied, stepping down into the kitchen.

“Charlie…” Y/N shook her head, not knowing what to say.

Y/N turned back to the blender, putting in some more tequila. She needed it if she was going to deal with more questions about Dean.

2 hours later…

Dean was well and truly drunk, which was a hard feat these days. He was sitting at the bar again, having won a couple of games of pool already. The room had emptied slightly, just a few locals left. Dean stared blankly, his eyes not focusing on anything with a smirk on his face.

“S-She’s s-so fucking beautiful” he slurred, thinking about her. “I love her laugh. She’s hilarious, and s-smart, I mean, s-smarter than me for sure but she’s way smarter than you, too.”

Sam nodded. “Yeah, she is.”

“And she always smells so good” Dean smiled. “Like fruit. Sometimes apples, but most of the time it’s straw… strawberries.”

Sam and Donny looked at each other, trying not to laugh.

“Man, the things I would do if she gave me a chance” Dean snorted, closing his eyes. “Her ass… I hate it when she goes, but I love to watch her leave.”

Dean slammed his hand down on the bar and chuckled to himself.

“Dean” Sam tried to get his brother’s attention, but Dean wasn’t listening.

“She could do whatever she wanted to me, I wouldn’t care what” Dean smirked, taking another gulp of his drink.

“Okay, I think that’s our cue to leave” Sam huffed a laugh, trying to grab onto Dean’s jacket. Dean swung away from him, frowning. “And… she’s just so nice, right? She never says… bad things about anyone. She’s so awesome. She loves everyone and just wants to help ‘em.”

Dean went to pick up the bottle of whiskey, but Donny swiped it before he could reach it. “You’re officially cut off, man. Should’ve done it a while ago.”

Sam took out some money and handed it over to Donny. It wasn’t enough to cover Dean’s pity party, but Donny knew they’d settle it later.

“I’m-I’m fine” Dean hiccupped.

“Dean, come on” Sam huffed, trying to shift Dean off the bar stool.

“She’s amazing… and I don’t deserve her” Dean sighed, looking down at his empty glass.

“Yeah, okay. We’re really going now” Sam said, practically pushing Dean off the stool. He grabbed his arm and hooked it over his neck, leaning Dean’s weight on himself.

“See you around, Donny” Sam said, staggering away with Dean on him.

“Drive safe, guys” Donny called out.

Sam struggled with Dean as they walked out of the bar and towards the Impala. Dean was swaying, and Sam was trying his hardest not to drop him. They got to the car and Sam leaned Dean against the side, making sure he didn’t fall. He reached into Dean’s pockets, trying to find the keys.

“Don’t you think Y/N’s hair is really shiny? I think it’s really shiny” Dean remarked, as he played with the zip on his jacket. “And it looks really good when it’s down.”

“Sure” Sam agreed, without really listening. He tried Dean’s jeans pocket.

“Sometimes though, She puts it up and she looks like a naughty librarian” Dean smirked. “Makes me wanna bend her over one of the library tables-”

Sam got the keys and quickly opened the car. “Whoa, okay. Sit down.”

He helped Dean into the passenger seat, before going to the driver’s side. As he started the car, he looked over at Dean, who had fallen asleep. He laughed a little to himself, before he pulled out of the parking lot.

-x-

Back at the bunker, the girls had moved to Y/N’s room. She was leaning back against the headboard, a glass in her hand with no salt around the rim. She gave up on salt half an hour ago. Charlie was lying on the end of the bed, propped up on her elbow.

“His arms are so strong. His lips should be a sin” she sighed, dreaming of the hunter she was in love with. “I bet he’s really good with them.”

“They are pretty great” Charlie had to agree. She may have been attracted to women, but she had to admit Dean was good looking.

“His face is just made for sitting on” Y/N smiled and started laughing.

“Wow” Charlie laughed as she looked at Y/N. “You’re so drunk.”

Y/N ignored that, as she stared at the wall. “And his heart… he just cares about everyone so much. He’s the most selfless person I know.”

Charlie nodded and lightly tapped Y/N’s legs in front of her. Y/N looked over at Charlie.

“You should tell him that” Charlie suggested.

Y/N tipped her head back, trying to catch the last drops of margarita in her mouth. She frowned when there was nothing left.

“He smells so good, too” Y/N smiled. “Like leather and… something just so… so Dean.”

“You’re not listening to anything I’m saying, are you?” Charlie asked.

Y/N giggled. “Nope.”

She laid her head back against the wall, as the alcohol started to make her sleepy.

Y/N frowned as she shook her head. “I can’t tell him, Charlie. What… what would he want with me? He can have any girl he wants. He already has. I’m nothing compared to those girls.”

Charlie took a deep breath as she watched Y/N’s face morph into sadness. “Y/N… you’re way better than those girls.”

Y/N closed her eyes, feeling overwhelmed by what she was feeling.

“Alright, you better sleep it off” Charlie said, getting up from bed.

“No!” Y/N yelled and reached for the pitcher, but Charlie took it before she could get to it.

“You’re done, Y/N” Charlie playfully scolded.

She took the glass out of Y/N’s hand and handed her the large one with water in it. “Drink that, it’ll help with the hangover in the morning.”

Y/N gulped the water down and put the glass on the bedside table next to her. She slipped down on the bed, and kicked her feet up, pulling the sheet up to cover herself. Charlie walked to the door and turned to say goodnight, but Y/N was already fast asleep. She smiled and turned off the light in the room, shutting the door and walking down the hallway. She heard footsteps coming from the other end, before she saw Sam carrying a very drunk Dean. They walked into Dean’s room and Sam carefully let him down on the bed. Charlie walked in without a word and took Dean’s shoes off, as Sam covered him. Dean snored softly as he turned onto his stomach and snuggled into the pillow.

Sam and Charlie walked out of Dean’s room after shutting the door and walked down to the kitchen. Charlie put the food into the fridge as Sam grabbed himself some water.

“How was your night?” she asked.

Sam scoffed a laugh. “I think my drunk brother is the answer. How about you?”

Charlie nodded. “Well, pretty much the same. Though, I finally got her to admit her massive crush on Dean.”

“Yeah, there was a quite confession at the bar on his part, too” Sam said, sitting down at the table.

Charlie shook her head as she crossed her arms, leaning against the counter. “I don’t get those two. I think it’s time we intervene.”

Sam nodded, thinking it over. “Maybe we head out for the day tomorrow. Give them enough time to be alone around each other; see if that works.”

“Yeah. They may even get something else out of their system” Charlie smiled.

Sam cringed. He didn’t need to think about that. “Sounds like a plan.”

He walked over to Charlie, offering his hand. She took it and they shook, firmly on it.

The next day saw Dean and Y/N incredibly hungover. She cursed the tequila and swore to never touch it again, and Dean wondered how he could even still get drunk enough to be hungover. Y/N got up before him at 11am, starting on the coffee. She had no appetite just yet and hoped the coffee would help. There was no sign of Charlie or Sam, so she enjoyed the quiet for a while. She rubbed her hands down her face, as she sat down at the table.

A few minutes later, Dean stumbled in, still in his shirt and jeans from last night. He was wearing his robe over the top and his hair was sticking up in different directions. Suffice to say, he looked adorable.

“You look like how I feel” he mumbled; his voice gravelly from sleep. He walked over to the coffee, after one glance at her.

She scoffed as she took a sip. “Trust me, you look just as bad as me.”

Dean sat down across from her, slurping his coffee.

“Any idea where the other two are?” she asked.

Dean nodded. “Sam sent a message; said they were going to Wichita to see some boring French movie.”

“Man. I wish I wasn’t so messed up right now, I could’ve gone with them” Y/N frowned.

Dean looked at her. He hoped she would be fine with just his company today. “Maybe we could have our own movie marathon.”

He may have been drunk last night but remembered what he said to Sam. Maybe he had to take this opportunity of an empty bunker to tell her how he felt.

She smiled, nodding. “Sounds good.”

After they had both recovered as well as they could, the hunger finally kicked in. Deciding to make sandwiches for lunch, they made their way to the kitchen to make them before they started their Indiana Jones marathon. Y/N took out all the necessary toppings, as they started constructing their lunch.

“I guess we’re sticking to soda today” she laughed.

“I guess so” Dean agreed.

“Hey, can you get the mustard out?” she asked, while he was standing at the fridge.

Dean took out the bottle and held it out for her. Without realising it, their fingers touched as she laid her hand over his.

“Sorry” he mumbled as he put the bottle on the counter.

“It’s okay” she smiled softly, as she went back to what she had been doing.

They ate their sandwiches through Raiders of the Lost Ark but got hungry again ten minutes into Temple of Doom. Y/N quickly made some popcorn and brought into the Dean cave in a big bowl. As they watched, they munched on the popcorn, engrossed in their mutual favourite franchise.

Dean looked over at Y/N, smiling as he saw how invested she was, despite having watched these movies so many times. He picked up a piece of popcorn, flicking it at her cheek. She looked over at him as he looked away, trying not to smirk. She shook her head and looked back at the screen. Dean did it again.

Y/N scoffed as she looked at him. “Cut it out, Winchester.”

“I didn’t do anything” Dean shrugged.

“Yeah, right” Y/N rolled her eyes. She picked up a handful of popcorn and threw it at him.

“Real mature, Y/L/N” he laughed. He flicked some up from the bowl at her, hitting her in the face.

“You’re so annoying!” she yelled. She picked up the bowl and moved it away, pouncing on him.

“Ah! Y/N! Get off!” she yelled in frustration as she started messing up his hair.

They started to playfully fight, Y/N trying to tug his hair as he tried to grab her hands and keep them away. He reached up and tickled her neck, causing her to scream and laugh uncontrollably. He grabbed her hands and held them against his chest.

“Dean, let go” she laughed, trying to free her hands.

“Never” he smirked.

She saw the twinkle in his eye, but there was something more behind it. His look did something to her, a tingle running through her body.

She stopped laughing as she looked down at him. With her Y/H/C flowing, she looked so beautiful to him. He saw something in her eyes, something that resembled what he was feeling. A deep desire; something he had kept buried until now. Maybe, just maybe… he had a shot.

She had to stop this. Y/N knew that as much as she wanted to see what happened, she couldn’t. She couldn’t handle the rejection. Just as quickly as the desire in their eyes shone through, it was gone from hers. She pushed herself away from him, his hands falling away from hers. Dean felt his hope fizzle out.

“I’m still not feeling so great, I think the tequila’s still making me foggy” she laughed slightly, downplaying what just happened.

“Yeah, um…” Dean muttered, not knowing what to say.

“I think I’m going to go lie down” she said, trying not to let her sadness show.

Dean nodded. “Yeah, I’ll clean up here.”

“I’m sorry. I can help-” she started but he cut her off.

Dean got up from the couch, as far as he could from her. “Nope, I got it.”

Y/N flinched as he moved away. “Okay” she whispered.

With one last look at him, Y/N walked out of the room. She made it all the way to her room before she let the tears shed, that she had been holding back. She threw herself on her bed, muffling her sobs with her pillow. She knew this was how things would end up between them. Awkward with no chance of moving forward into something new and exciting. She never should’ve fallen in love with Dean.

Dean swept up the popcorn, cursing himself internally. He had read the signs wrong, clearly. She wasn’t interested. She never would be.

They both knew that denying their feelings, as they had already been doing for the last 5 years, was the only thing they could do to protect themselves. That’s what you had to do as a hunter.

Even when you wished for the strength to show your feelings, you had to bury them.

It was easier that way.

Tags: @flamencodiva @deanwanddamons @winchest09 @katehuntington @akshi8278 @hobby27 @michellethetvaddict

#dean x female!reader #dean x female!reader one shot #dean x female!reader angst #dean winchester #dean winchester one shot #dean winchester angst #supernatural one shot #supernatural angst #supernatural fanfiction

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before-we-get-started · 3 years

Text

Dream Come True

Colin Shea x O/C Corinne MacAdam

Multi-Chapter Story - Complete

Summary: Colin Shea and his band Rock the Cradle are finally making it big - until something unexpected happens. When he meets a girl that makes him reconsider his player ways, he thinks his life may be coming together, until she blows it apart.

Warning: Bad language, smut, suicidal ideations - no one under 18, please

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please do not read if you are underage. I do not own the character of Colin Shea; the rest are my original characters. By reading beyond this point, you understand the disclaimers as posted.

Chapter Six

To say Rapscallion’s was hopping on Saturday was an understatement. Waitresses were balancing round trays with mugs of beer and drinks, spinning around customers as they piled into the bar. Cori was glad she got there early and grabbed a table. Her friends came in and she waved to get their attention.

“Holy hell, this place is rocking!” said Sarah. “I haven’t been here in a long time, looks the same.”

“This used to be my brother’s favorite place, I always wanted to sneak out with him and come here,” said Jana.

They’d been friends since elementary school, stayed in touch during college and now they were all making their way in the world. Only Cori had been in a serious relationship. The other girls were playing the field, enjoying single life.

A waitress took their order and they picked out appetizers and beers. It was eight o’clock, the band should be out any time.

“So you know someone in the band?” Jana asked as the lights dimmed and stage lights came up.

“Yes, he’s my neighbor,” said Cori.

“What’s his name?”

“Colin Shea.”

Both of her friends all but dropped their beer bottles on the table. “Colin Shea? Are you kidding?”

“No,” she said. “Why?”

“That bastard. He picked me up at a party and told me he’d dreamed of a girl like me. The next morning, he was gone when I woke up. He never even called.”

“I’ve got one better than that!” said Sarah. “I slept with him at his apartment and when I woke up, he was gone. From HIS apartment. Turns out he was hiding out across the hall until I left.”

“Across the hall?” said Cori.

“Yeah, the girl that lived there let him hide out from all the conquests he didn’t have the balls to talk to anymore after sleeping with them.”

Cori looked down at her beer bottle and made a face.

“What?” said Sarah.

“I think that’s my apartment now. I live across the hall from him.”

They all looked at each other and started laughing. “Well, you should put a toll booth on the sixth floor. You’ll retire early with all the traffic at his apartment.”

“And be careful. He’s incredibly charming,” said Sarah.

Just then, the manager of the bar took the stage. “This is a big night for us here at Rapscallion’s. We’re happy to host the return of our favorite band, ladies and gentleman the ones you’ve been waiting for, Rock the Cradle!”

A roar went up as Colin and the boys took the stage. Of course he was out front, lead guitarist and singing lead. Cori gasped when she saw him, then tried to find some air to breathe. He had on black leather pants and boots, a white button up shirt with the sleeves roll up to just below his elbows. His hair was moussed and his chain with the medallion and sexy chest tattoo were on full display. He looked gorgeous.

“Damn,” Sarah said next to her, “now I remember why I slept with him.”

The band played a set and sounded fantastic. They recognized a couple of the songs but she bet the others were originals. They were all good. When the set ended, Colin announced they were taking a break and would be back in a few.

The girls decided this would be a good time to hit the bathroom, so they decided Cori would stay with their purses and go last. Sarah and Jana made their way through the crowd, shoulder to shoulder with the other customers. As people filed past their booth, a guy stopped, gripping onto the edge of the table as the crowd brushed past him.

“Sorry,” he said to Cori, “just trying to stay alive.”

She burst out laughing and so did he. He was tall and thin with brown wavy hair and wire framed glasses. He had on a Pixies t-shirt and jeans and had gorgeous brown eyes. He tried to merge back out from the table but the crowd was too heavy.

“Do you mind if I sit?”

“No, please,” said Cori, pulling the purses over.

“I’ll just wait until I can actually merge without crashing. Seth, by the way.” He extended his hand.

“Cori.”

“Nice to meet you Cori. Do you come here often?” He stopped, his eyes wide. “Did I really just say that?”

She laughed again. “Actually no. I came to see the band, I’m friends with one of them.”

“Oh yeah? My buddies and I used to come and hear them all the time, we missed them when they quit playing. I was glad to hear they were back.”

“Yeah, they’re really good. It’s my first time seeing them play. I just moved into a new apartment and one of the guys is my neighbor.”

“Very cool. I love the nachos here, probably have more of them than I should,” he said. He had a gorgeous smile, and Cori found herself smiling back.

“I live a few blocks over, share an apartment with my buddy.” He pointed over his shoulder towards another table. “I work for a legal office down the street, run their IT department. I love this neighborhood.”

“Me too,” she said. “I just got here but it seems great.”

He hesitated and took a breath like he was preparing for something. “Would you join me one night? For nachos? Or whatever you want, I mean, if you don’t like them, but, like, for dinner?”

He was nervous and she found it so charming. “I’d love to,” she said. “Thank you.”

They traded phones and gave each other their numbers, relieved and laughing as they chatted. Across the room, Colin managed to make his way out of the green room where the band was hanging out. He’d spotted Cori in the crowd as soon as he took the stage and he loved seeing how into the music she was.

As he moved through the crowd, he could see her at her table. She had on a strapless top with a rhinestone choker and her hair was pulled up into a high ponytail. He’d seen her in makeup for work but tonight she’d changed it up, smoky eyeshadow and dark eyeliner. She looked gorgeous. He saw her through a totally different lens tonight. He was closer to the table and the crowd parted, and he stopped. She was with a guy. They were talking and laughing, exchanging cell phones. The guy leaned closer to her and she threw her head back to laugh. He suddenly felt like he couldn’t breathe. Not only was she more beautiful the closer he got, the stab of jealousy he felt took him by surprise. How hadn’t he noticed her this way before now? He thought for just a second and realized that, for the first time since he met her, she looked happy. He thought about what she’d said, about being cheated on by someone and getting a fresh start. He suddenly wished he was her fresh start.

“Hi Colin.” He was suddenly surrounded by three girls telling him how great he was and how much they loved the band. He thanked them, checking them out but not losing focus on Cori’s table. He noticed two more girls sliding in next to her. She said something to the guy and he walked away, then she slid out of the booth.

“Excuse me ladies,” he said, pushing his way towards the women’s restroom. He cut her off just as she got there.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey! Oh my gosh, you guys are so good!”

“Thanks,” and Cori noticed he actually blushed a little. “So you’re having a good time?”

“Yes, best time I’ve had in a long time! I met some friends and we’re having a blast.”

“Good, it means a lot that you’re here.” He hesitated, then “uh, there’s a party afterwards at our building on the roof. Do you want to come?”

“Uh, sure. Ok.”

He shook his head, smiling that irresistible smile and it was all she could do not to jump him right there. “Ok, see you at the party.”

“See you at the party!”

The rest of the evening flew by, the band bringing down the house and getting called back for an encore. When the house lights came up, everyone started moving around again, some leaving now that the band had ended.

“Well, that’s it for me. I can’t believe I have to work tomorrow,” said Sarah.

“Yeah, I need to go too,” said Jana. “Wanna share an Uber?”

“Sure.”

Cori was so sad the evening had ended, she’d had so much fun. “Please tell me we’ll do this again soon. We should do this all the time!”

“Agreed,” they both said. They made their way out of the bar and exchanged hugs and said good night. It was such a gorgeous night. Cori had planned to get a cab but it was too nice not to walk.

“Hey stranger.” Seth came up from behind her. “How was your evening?”

“It was so good! I was just telling my friends how we should do this more.”

“Which way are you going?”

Cori pointed towards her building.

“Mind if I walk with you?”

“That would be great,” she said.

She found talking to him so easy. He told her he too should try to get out more. He spent too much time at work and his mother was all over him to get a life.

Cori laughed. She told him she’d started a new job and really loved it. “It was a great opportunity and I’m making the most of it.”

As they neared her building, she was feeling courageous. “I got invited to a party with the band on the roof of my building. Do you want to come up with me?”

“Yeah, sure,” he said, enthusiastically opening the door for her. They made their way up the stairs to her apartment, stopping in so she could drop off her purse, then they headed up to the roof.

As she stepped through the doorway, Colin saw her. He’d been waiting impatiently, willing her to walk through every time the door opened. He smiled brightly, jumping up from the couch – until he stopped. She wasn’t alone. The guy from the bar was with her. This wasn’t what he’d hoped for.

She smiled and waved at him, stopping to talk to some of their neighbors and introducing the guy she was with. He let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. She made her way towards him, the guy following behind.

“It was so good Colin,” she said, pulling him into a hug. That shock between them happened again. “So good!”

“Thanks.” Damn she smelled good.

She turned to the guy, taking his hand and pulling him toward her. “Colin Shea, this is Seth Miller.” The guys exchanged hellos and Colin noticed when she lowered her hand, she kept hold of the guy’s hand. “We’re going to grab a beer, do you need one?”

He lifted his bottle. “No, I’m good.” They walked towards the cooler and grabbed beers, talking to the people near the cooler.

Alright, two could play this game. He took a look around and zeroed in on a blonde standing alone. He went up and started to introduce himself but there was no need, she knew who he was and was happy to be his arm candy.

Cori and Seth found a place to sit and started talking. He’d grown up in a suburb of Boston and gone to school at Virginia Tech where he’d stayed for a master’s degree. He snagged the job with the law firm right out of college and found an apartment nearby. He had a younger sister and his parents still lived in his childhood home. He was a huge baseball fan. His dad had season tickets and he joined him often at Red Sox games.

Cori’s story was similar, growing up in Waltham and going away to a small college in Connecticut. She’d initially moved back in with her folks but then shared an apartment with a friend until the accident (which she didn’t mention). They both loved Italian food and action movies. She was feeling a connection that was really comfortable.

Just across the roof, Colin was dancing with the blonde. You could barely slip a credit card between them, he was holding her so close. All the while, he kept an eye on Cori. She never looked up, not once, she was so engrossed in her conversation. He noticed how much she laughed and smiled, really smiled, the entire time. When she’d made the comments to him that she did about her past, he didn’t really think about it. She was obviously deeply hurt. He’d blown it off, and then sped out of her apartment to go meet his booty call for the night. What a jerk.

He tried to focus on the blonde instead of why what Cori was doing mattered to him. Truth was, he felt a pull to her. She was beautiful, but it was more. Her independence, her sense of humor, her prowess in the kitchen, the way she’d lit up when he handed her flowers that night. He felt some kind of connection to her. He was sure she felt something for him too. He looked over at her again, and she had her hand on her date’s arm. If she did feel something for him, this guy was fixing to make it disappear. He worked his dance partner closer to where Cori was sitting, and she finally looked up. When she did, Colin planted a slow, deep kiss on the blonde, then pulled away and looked into her eyes. As he looked back at Cori, he saw the smile leave her face for a minute, then she focused on Seth again and the smile returned.

He knew it. She did have something for him. When the song ended, he let the blonde go and found someone else to flirt with. He was suddenly the center of attention, everyone talking about the show and how good it was. He was enjoying the conversation and almost didn’t notice Cori and her date slipping through the door to leave the roof.

He waited a few seconds and excused himself, slowly descending the stairs into the building, and creeping down to the sixth floor. He could hear voices as he came around the corner. They were at Cori’s door, and it looked like their evening was ending. He watched Seth put his hand on Cori’s cheek and move closer to her, their first kiss inevitable.

“Hey 6C!” said Colin. Cori and Seth jumped, startled. “I was telling Cathy about that amazing pasta you made us for dinner the other night. She wondered if you’d share the recipe.”

Cori stared at him. Seriously? “Uh, sure. I’ll get with her later.”

“Ok,” he said. He shoved his hands into his jean pockets, standing in front of his door. And he stayed that way. Didn’t move.

Cori cleared her throat. “Ok, well thanks for walking me home.”

“Thanks for the party,” said Seth. He kissed the back of her hand. “I’ll see you Tuesday night.”

“Great,” she said with a smile and he stepped away, walking around the bannister and directly past Colin.

“’Night,” Colin said, tilting forward on the balls of his feet, rocking up and down.

“Good night,” said Seth and down the stairs he went.

Cori walked up to the bannister, waiting until Seth was out of ear shot.

“You have shitty timing,” she said to him, her mouth in a grim line.

“Aw, sorry about that,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I wanted to catch you before you went to bed.”

“Yeah, that was some Earth shattering info you needed.” She rolled her eyes and unlocked her door. “Good night Colin,” she said, rich with sarcasm.

“’Night 6C,” he said with a smile. “Sweet dreams.”

She slammed the door behind her.

#chris evans #chris evans fanfic #chris evans angst #chris evans fanfiction #dream come true #what's your number #royal court #colin shea fanfic #colin shea fanfiction #colin shea x ofc #colin shea x original fictional character

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edie-k · 3 years

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Legally Ginger Chapter 4 (Romione, PG-13)

Title: Legal Ginger, Chapter 4 "Not Completely Unfortunate Looking"

Pairing: Romione, minor Ron/Astoria, Harry/Astoria

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Ron makes his first East Coast friend

Thanks adnei for all the beta help!

Bolded dialogue plus the chapter title are verbatim or very very heavily ripped from the movie.

Thank you for all your comments last chapter! I think the fun of these RomCom inspired fics is to surprise you with what character ends up where.

And to be clear, I love Harry - not as much as Ron but I am one of these weirdos that somehow thinks the main character is underrated in his own series. But the very few times Harry was mad at Ron, he knew how to cut and I'm going to have some fun with that. I doubt you'll hate Harry when this story is complete. But you might at the end of next chapter.

Click below or follow the link to AO3!

Ron stormed back to his room, struggling with the lock as his hands shook. After finally getting the door open, he quickly grabbed for Pig’s leash. The pug has out of his bed and at Ron’s feet in a flash.

Ron, who didn’t have patience for Pig’s short legs today, scooped him up and stomped down the hall and out to the parking lot. He jerked open the door to his Escape and deposited Pig in the passenger’s seat before taking a deep breath.

Pig tilted his head quizzically.

“We need to hit something.”

**********************************

After driving about 10 miles, Ron spotted it. A large building that had seen better days with steel cages and a dilapidated miniature golf course outside. The weathered sign outside it said “Hogs Head Sports Center and Pub”.

He cut through two lanes of traffic to turn into the mostly empty parking lot. After putting the car in park, he took a second to dig for quarters in his center console but came up empty. “Shit,” he sighed.

Ron grabbed Pig’s leash and the dog hopped down to follow him towards the building.

Upon entering, Ron found the inside to be about as unkempt as the outside but it was surprisingly clean. Another pleasant surprise was that there was a bar to the right with a few grizzled townies eating nachos and being served drafts by a grumpy looking bearded bartender while they watched Sportscenter on a small flat screen. In the back was a sole batting cage, a few arcade machines and a beat up door with a paper taped to it that said “Simulator in Use”. To the left, a small counter with golf clubs, colored golf balls, and tiny pencils.

Behind the counter was the biggest man Ron had ever seen in real life and he’d been lucky enough to meet three Lakers, two Warriors, and a Ram. Similar to the bartender, he had unkempt hair and a wild beard but unlike the old guy slinging drinks, he was middle aged and his face split in a big smile upon seeing Ron.

“Hello,” the giant of a man greeted him. “What’s doing?”

“I need some quarters for the cages,” Ron said, holding out a $5.

“Sure,” the man agreed and opened the cash register.

“Thanks,” Ron muttered and started to walk out the door before stopping short. “Shit.”

“Something wrong?”

“I don’t have my bat,” Ron said, shaking his head.

“Came to the cages without a bat?” the guy said, his accent so thick that Ron had to pause to process before answering.

“Uh yeah. I sort of just needed to find something to hit that wasn’t…” Ron trailed off.

“The other guy?” The giant man finished his sentence with a chuckle.

Ron laughed. “Pretty much.”

The man walked into the back room and came out with two worn bats. “I’ve been there,” he said, handing Ron one.

“Thanks.”

“You look like you could use some company,” the man said.

Ron considered for a moment. He’d been lonely as hell this week. Growing up with six siblings, living in a fraternity house… he wasn’t used to all this time to himself. And this guy was only the second genuine conversation he’d had since arriving in Boston.

“Sure,” he replied. “My name’s Ron.”

The man outstretched a giant hand. “Everyone calls me Hagrid.”

***********************

“We hooked up the night before graduation and she’s already engaged to this d-bag?”

“I don’t get it,” Hagrid said. “What’s so great about this guy?”

Ron had spent the last half hour spilling his life story while hitting balls off the fastest pitching machine in the cages. Hagrid had proved himself to be a captive and empathetic audience - almost like talking with one of his older brothers.

Ron shrugged. “He’s obviously smart.”

“Why? Cause he got into Harvard? So did you. Better looking than you?”

“I mean, he’s a little scrawny. If I’d actually been dumb enough to hit him, I’d have won before he even knew we were fighting but he’s decent looking enough. I’ve got a sister and he’s her type.”

“He seems like a total asshole so no way he’s got you beat on personality,” Hagrid said.

Ron laughed. “You’ve known me for forty minutes!”

Now Hagrid shrugged. “Lived here my whole life. Not to paint with too broad a brush but there aren’t a lot of Harvard kids kicking back with the counter guy at a rec center. You check out.”

“That’s probably true from what I’ve seen,” Ron agreed. “But I’m not really a Harvard kid. I just...I actually don’t know what I expected.”

“You expected to spend the rest of your lives together! I don’t get why it’s so hard. Isn’t that what all the TV shows tell us women want? My girl, Olympe, she dumped me a few months back. She took everything. Our home, the Dunkie’s rewards, my baby Fangs…”

“Fangs?”

“Best mutt there is,” Hagrid said. “Although this guy’s pretty great.” Hagrid leaned down to scratch the Pig’s ears.

“I'm sorry, that sucks,” Ron replied, shaking his head.

“It happens all the time,” Hagrid shrugged. “You ready for a beer?”

“Always,” agreed Ron and they walked back toward the main building.

Upon entering the building, Ron set his bat on the counter. “What’s the old man got on tap?”

When Hagrid didn’t immediately reply, Ron turned to look at him. He was standing frozen, staring across the room where an attractive middle aged brunette woman in a polo shirt and jeans was pushing an empty dolley out from behind the bar and towards them.

“Hi, Hagrid,” she said with a smile. Ron turned to grab the door and hold it open for her.

“Uh, yeah, uh hi,” stammered Hagrid. He tried to slide his bat on the counter but only succeeded in knocking the one Ron used to the floor with a loud clatter.

She waved as she left the building.

“Could I be any more goddamn spastic?” Hagrid bemoaned. Ron gave a sympathetic wince. “Now I really need that drink.”

Ron followed him over to the bar and slid onto the stool next to him.

“Abe? Can we get a couple?”

The bearded old man behind the bar grunted and poured them two drafts.

Hagrid took a sip and shook his head. “This women stuff is hard. Never thought I’d be in this position at my age. But you’re still young. Doesn’t have to be this difficult for you. Smart guy, good guy, athletic guy like you. You’d find another girl in no time.”

“I mean, maybe, but Astoria…. she’s worth fighting for, you know?”

“Well, engaged ain’t married,” said Hagrid. “Never, ever, ever give up.”

Ron burst out laughing. “That’s Michael Scott advice!”

“Eh, it worked out for Jim and Pam,” insisted Hagrid.

“Well, I’m not giving up yet, so don’t worry.”

*************************************************************************************

Ron entered his first class Tuesday morning, feeling much more confident. After leaving Hogs Head with a stomach full of greasy nachos, Hagrid’s number, and an offer to text anytime, he'd returned to campus and poured over all the syllabi and orientation packets again. He felt confident that he’d done the pre-work needed to enter his Criminal Law class.

He plunked down in his seat and looked around. In front of him sat Astoria and what’s his face. Harry had his arm draped behind the back of her chair.

Engaged ain’t married. Engaged ain’t married. He repeated to himself.

In addition to his studying last night, he had tried to scour social media to see if there was a wedding date set, but the news seemed totally non-existent. On a whim, he had texted Lavender. Lavender had said she was working for LiveNation post graduation but Ron wondered if she’d actually joined the FBI - thirty minutes later, she had emailed him a whole mess of screenshots from various social media accounts, college newsletters, and local newspapers. He thought he might even have Harry’s social security number in the file. The only thing he cared about was that she had confirmed there was no date set and that they intended on a long engagement.

“Hem, hem.”

The noise came from a small woman standing at the front of the hall. She had a flat face and her style of dress was atrocious - fluffy pink cardigan over a shapeless tan shift dress. He vowed to get a discrete picture of her to throw in the group chat.

“Welcome to Criminal Law. I am Professor Dolores Umbridge. I have high expectations of how you will perform and how you will conduct yourself in my class. I expect you to push yourselves to excel and outperform your classmates and yourselves. And bear in mind, performing well this year will have you well placed for one of four highly regarded internships at my firm next year where you will be applying your skills to real world cases.”

“Now, let’s commence with our usual torture,” she said. She studied a class roster.

Please not me. But I can do it. But also, please not me.

“Mr. Weasley.”

Goddamn it.

“Would you prefer your client have committed a crime malum in se or malum prohibitum?” Professor Umbridge asked.

“Well,” he said carefully. “I prefer they not have committed the crime at all.”

The rest of the class snickered.

“That is the dream, Mr. Weasley,” she said with a wry smile. She looked down at the roster again. “What about you, Mr. Potter?”

“Malum prohibitum,” he said confidently. “I’d rather they commit a regulatory infraction as opposed to a dangerous crime.”

“Well said, Mr. Potter,” Professor Umbridge replied. “Let’s take a closer look at malum prohibitum, shall we?”

Harry shot a glance back at Ron over his shoulder and gave him a shit eating grin before running his fingers up and down Stori’s arm.

We’re in the middle of fucking class and he’s mauling her like they’re at a kegger.

Before he could think better of it, Ron raised his hand.

“Oh,” said Professor Umbridge. “You had a question Mr. Weasley?”

“No,” said Ron. “I just changed my mind. I’ll take the dangerous criminal. Unlike Potter, a challenge has never scared me.”

Harry whipped his head around to glare at Ron.

“Exactly the spirit I like to see, Mr. Weasley,” Umbridge said approvingly.

*************************

“Come on boy,” said Ron, urging Pig along down the stairs of the dorms.

The semester was now three weeks old. Ron was dutifully completing his reading each night and when McGonagall had come back at him again with a question, he had managed to piece together an answer that satisfied her.

Campus life, however, had continued to be fairly lonely for him. His debacle in McGonagall’s class had spread like wildfire and he’d been shunned from every study group he approached. He’d taken to reviewing in the bar at the Hogs Head for the company. He wasn’t sure if Hagrid liked him or Pig better but at least there was one place in town they were always welcome.

“I didn’t know pets were allowed in student housing,” he heard a voice say.

Ron glanced up to see a face that looked somewhat familiar to him. After a tick, he recognized the woman speaking as the same one who had reassured him that first day of classes.

“Service animals are,” he told her.

She looked at him skeptically, brushing her voluminous hair behind her ears. “Is he a service animal?”

“He provides services,” Ron said, giving her a cocky grin.

She pursed her lips as though she was trying not to smile. “Such as?”

“Getting the attention of beautiful women,” Ron answered.

The brunette stood up and crossed her arms against her chest but there was really no hiding her obvious amusement. “Wow.” She shook her head and started to walk away.

“Come on, that was a good line, right?” Ron called after her.

She stopped and looked back at him. “I just didn’t think that was an area that you needed assistance in,” she said slyly, before walking away.

Shit, what a response.

He grinned, watching her go. He was about to call and ask her name - after all, she was the friendliest person on the campus - when he caught a glimpse of Astoria out of the corner of his eye. She was standing about twenty feet away with fucking Harry’s arm draped around her shoulders, talking to a couple of other students. For fuck’s sake, is she full of helium now? He’s constantly got an arm around her to weigh her down. But she was watching Ron through narrowed eyes.

Ron gave a small wave and Stori blushed, clearly embarrassed that she was caught. At that moment, Harry seemed to notice his fiancée was distracted and glanced in Ron’s direction. He threw Ron one of his patented spoiled rich dick smirks. Ron smirked right back and winked.

I’m not as out of the picture as you think. We’ll see who wins this one.

********************

Ron was just stepping out of the bathroom when he spotted his phone lighting up.

Fred

FaceTime as soon as you can!

He sighed, threw on a shirt, and dialed his brother.

Fred’s face appeared before him. Sort of. Wherever he was was dark, loud and full of strobe lights.

“What’s going on?” Ron asked.

“We’re celebrating!” shouted Fred. The camera turned and Ron suddenly saw a whole slew of his friends.

Parvati came into view. “Seamus proposed and Lav said yes!”

Over her right shoulder, Ron spotted the aforementioned couple kissing. Over Parvati’s left shoulder though, he saw…

“Are you at a strip club?” Ron asked.

“Of course!” yelled George. “It’s 6pm on a Monday. Half price drinks and free buffet at Diamond’s!”

“I just bought a ring, I gotta pay for a wedding, and student loans are coming due,” Seamus said, now closer to the camera. Lavender’s face wasn’t in view but he assumed the hand with the ring on screen belonged to her.

“Congrats buddy,” Ron said, feeling a sting.

“June 9th. I need you as one of my groomsmen, right? Lavender’s first cousin is like six two. If she wears heels, only you can match up to her.”

“I wouldn’t miss it,” Ron assured him.

“Ron! Did that stuff help? Has she dumped that douche yet?” Lavender screamed, not aware of just how close she was to the mic.

“Uh, I’m making progress,” Ron said.

“Almost October bro,” George said. “If anyone can make it work, you can.”

“Or just come home!” he heard his sister shout from far away.

“I’ll see you all soon,” Ron said. “Have fun.”

“I’ll slip Destiny a $5 and tell her it’s from you in case you change your mind,” Ginny called. Then the screen went black.

God, he missed his friends, his family. He missed having a bunch of guys at the frat to hang out with at the drop of a hat. He missed having a dozen teammates, available for a run at the drop of a hat. He missed Tim, the coffee cart guy who always knew his correct coffee/milk/syrup ratio.

He didn’t think Harvard would be easy. He didn’t think that it would be easy to get Astoria back. But he assumed making friends would be easy. He didn’t even remember how he made friends at CULA - did he even have to try? He sighed and picked up Pig’s leash, ready to take him for one last walk.

“It’s a Cambridge tradition - pass it along to everyone,” he heard someone say down the hall. “8 o’clock tomorrow at Gord’s Pub”

“What tradition?” Ron asked, coming around the corner. “Oh.”

There he was, face to face, with Harry Potter.

“Uh, sorry,” said Ron. “I heard the word pub.”

Harry looked at him and then gave a slight smile. “Yeah, man. There’s a trivia night at Gord’s Pub tomorrow night. It’s sort of a law school tradition to hit it up.”

“Trivia night, huh?” Ron asked.

“Yeah, the guy who does it prides himself on coming up with the most difficult questions he can. It’s impossible to win. Everyone completely bombs on every question so everyone just gets drunk by the second half. I hear it’s a pretty good night,” Harry said.

“Cool,” said Ron awkwardly.

“You should stop by. I’m sure there’ll be a team you can jump onto,” Harry suggested.

“Yeah, yeah, maybe I will,” Ron said.

“Cool dog,” Harry said, pointing at Pig.

“Uh, thanks. Have a good night,” Ron said, walking away.

Am I so desperate for friends that I’m hanging out with this douche? I guess so.

#romione fanfic #au romione #ron x hermione #ron and hermione #hp fanfic #rom com

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axwalker · 4 years

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Wacky Drabble #41: Now and Then 2

This will be a mini-series , and I’ll be using the weekly prompts of the lovely @emceesynonymroll WACKY DRABBLES.

This week is prompt #41: Can you move? It will appear in bold in the text.

I’m also participating in the May Challenge hosted by @kinda-iconic Today’s prompt is #9 Truth.

Synopsis: The story of Alexis’s and Drake’s friendship since they met when they were 10 years old until they become roommates after college. (AU)

MASTERLIST

Warning: No one under 18 should read my stories. Angst, Mention of a character’s death (Jackson).

Pairing: Drake x ?, Alexis x ?

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Pixelberry

Word count: 1596

Thank you to @pedudley who beta read this! I LOVE you 💕💕

Permatag list: @mskaneko @pedudley @burnsoslow @ac27dj @twinkle-320

@kimmiedoo5 @marshmallowsandfire @loveellamae @lauzales @pug-bitch @debramcg1106 @ravenpuff02

Wacky drabbles: @dcbbw @texaskitten30 @bebepac @pedudley @bbrandy2002 @katedrakeohd @sirbeepsalot @bobasheebaby @loveellamae @flutistbyday2020 @soheila-1996 @kingliam-rys

2007

Lexis tried not to make any noise when she left her room; if her mother caught her, she’d be dead. She went to the kitchen and filled her backpack with Drake’s favorites: Doritos Nacho Cheese, Reese’s pieces, and a bottle of Mountain Dew.

She took her bike to Drake’s house. Getting into his room was no problem, he had taught her how to climb the trees in his garden to access through his window. Lexie saw Drake staring at the ceiling with the same sad expression he had in his eyes since his father had died one week ago.

She stood at the foot of the bed, looking at him. “Come on, Drake! Let’s go,” she said as she looked for his sweatshirt.

Drake furrowed. “Where?”

“To the beach. You haven’t been to school or out of this house all week.”

Drake was torn; he wanted to go out, but he felt too numb to make an effort. “It’s almost 9:00, and It’s like one hour from here!”

She raised her hands. “So? We’ve done it tons of times before.”

He stood up and put on the sweatshirt. There was no persuading Lexie when she got an idea into her head.

When they arrived at the beach, they laid down on the blanket Lexie had brought; She plugged her earphones on her mother’s IPod and gave one of them to Drake.

For a while, they laid next to each other in silence, looking at the stars Jackson loved so much and listening to The Beach Boys, his favorite band.

God Only Knows started to play. She raised the volume. “Your dad loved this one, he always repeated it two or three times when we went camping.”

Drake nodded as his eyes watered at the memory of his dad singing out of tune with the Beach Boys.

After a few songs, Drake finally spoke. “It’s so weird. This morning I was waiting for him to knock at my door and tell me breakfast was ready, and then I remembered that he’s not here anymore because he had to protect that duke!” He seethed. “He cared more about his job than he cared about me.”

Lexie took his hand and squeezed it.

“You know that’s not true, Drake. He was always there for you. He took us camping, he taught you how to fish, he coached our team on weekends. He loved his job but not as much as he loved you.”

Drake shrugged. He would never admit it to her, but Lexie always knew how to make him feel better. His stomach growled.

“Hungry?” Lexie asked.

“I didn’t eat dinner. Bas put chorizo in the pizza.” Drake grimaced. “Plus, he wants me to talk about dad all the time.”

She gave him a conspiratorial smile and grabbed her backpack. “Don’t worry, Walker. I got you.”

They ate their snacks quietly for a while.

“My mom is coming tomorrow with Savvie. For the… funeral,” he said, gloomily.

Her stomach dropped. She had heard her mom and her abuelita talking about it, the previous night. They were sure that Bianca was going to take Drake with her to Texas.

Lexie couldn’t imagine her life without her best friend. They did everything together. They shared their deepest secrets. She was the only one that knew about his crush on that stupid Jenny Stone; He was the only one that knew about her secret dream of finding her dad.

“Are you going to Texas with her?” Lexie asked, scared of the answer.

He wasn’t sure about anything. “I think so, Bastien says that I’ll like Texas, though. He says my mom’s new husband has a stable with a lot of horses and I’ll be able to live with Savvie again.”

Lexie nodded, she knew how much Drake missed his mom and sister, so she tried to be supportive. “I’ll miss you a lot Drake, but we can Skype all the time. Maybe I can be friends with Savvie too.”

Drake wanted to live with his mom and his sister again, but the idea of leaving his football team, his school and Lexie terrified him.

He stood up and picked some stones. He threw one on the ocean’s still water. It skipped five times. He turned at her smirking. Her record was three.

“Please, Walker. That was pure luck” She stood up and took a stone from his hand. She threw it but it only skipped twice. She snorted, frustrated.

He chuckled. “You’re such a sore loser.” He took another stone. “Look, I show you. When you throw, flick your wrist at the end and let go of the rock. It will spin and make it bounce,” he said as he threw one at the water. It skipped five times again. He turned with a smug look in his face.

She rolled her eyes. “Show-off.”

He sat on the blanket again, quietly playing with the sand for a few minutes before he asked, “how do you think heaven is like?”

Lexie sat next to him, cross-legged. “I think it’s a place where you’re always happy. Abuelita is convinced she’ll see grandpa Ramiro again. I guess you can do whatever you want, and you’re never scared or angry. I bet Jackson fishes all day while he drinks his beers and listens to The Beach Boys,” she said.

Drake chuckled, “Do you think there’s beer in heaven?”

Lexie answered, confidently, “Sure! Why not?”

After another stone-skipping contest, Drake checked the time in his luminous watch. “It’s almost midnight, Lex. Let’s go back or your mom will kill us.”

---------------------------------------------------------

Three days later they were all in the O’Brien house for the luncheon after the funeral.

Bianca had arrived that morning with Savannah and, Larry, her new husband. Elena had disliked the woman since she had set foot in the funeral home. It wasn’t anything she did in particular, but her whole attitude seemed off.

Maybe it was because she was playing the part of the perfect mother around her new husband, after she had abandoned Drake when he was barely eight years old. Jackson was a good man and tried to justify Bianca, but Elena never understood. She wouldn’t abandon Lexie for anything in the world. But for the boy’s sake she was going to try to be nice to her. Elena hoped that Bianca would allow Drake to spend the summer in Cordonia.

Elena was worried about Lexie, her little girl was going to be crushed after his departure. She and Drake were thick as thieves. Lexie was trying to act all grown-up and supportive, but Elena knew how much she was going to suffer.

She worried about Drake even more. In the last two years, Elena had learnt to love him as a son. He was incredibly smart and mature for his age and had a heart of gold. Her own heart tugged, thinking about how terrified Drake must be feeling. He was barely twelve years old, had lost his dad and was about to leave the country with a woman he had seen once in four years.

Elena went to check the table where she had set the food and saw that almost all the pie was gone. She went to grab another one in the kitchen, where she saw Bastien and Bianca arguing.

“He is your son! He’s expecting you to take care of him. Fuck Bianca, you haven’t changed at all!” Bastien yelled.

Bianca answered, calmly, “I just got married and Larry doesn’t want kids for now. Leona will take Savvie but she doesn’t want a boy doing pranks around her property.” She smiled, obsequiously “Plus, it’s only for a while. When Larry gets use to the idea, I’ll come back for him. You can take care of him until then, Bas. I know Jackson left the kids his cabin. Can you move there with Drake?”

Elena couldn’t believe her ears. She was cutting the pie so angrily that she almost cut the table in half.

Bianca snapped at her, “I’m sorry, dear, but this is a private conversation.”

Elena placed the knife on the table to avoid accidentally – or not so accidentally- stabbing Bianca. “It’s me who’s sorry, dear, pero esta es mi casa (but this is my house), so I go wherever I want to. And you need to hear the truth, so I’ll tell you. First, I’m still in shock that you weren’t here the second Jackson died, Drake needed you. And most of all, I’m disgusted that you’re seriously planning to abandon that sweet boy again, because, in theory, a boy his age needs his mother.” Bianca was about to reply, but Elena raised her hand not giving her the chance to interrupt her. “But honestly, you’re doing him a favor. You’re clearly incapable of seeing what a great boy he is, how smart and compassionate. I’m sure you don’t even know anything about him. Did you know that he is on top of his class? That he loves animals? Which is his favorite football team? Anything at all?” Bianca couldn’t answer any of those questions, so Elena added, “you don’t deserve him, and sure as hell, you don’t deserve to be called a mother.” Elena turned to Bastien. “Don’t worry, we’ll be here to help you out with him, but do Drake a favor and keep him as far away as possible from this… woman.”

Bianca’s lips formed a thin line. She crossed her arms over her chest, before replying, “I love my son, but I have a right to have a life too when I’m still young.”

Elena shook her head as she spoke. “You didn’t hear a word I said.”

Bianca left with Larry and Savanah the next morning, Drake didn’t see her again for another six years.

#wacky drabbles #tw character death #tw grief #choicesmaychallenge #kinda-iconic #drake walker

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krokonoko · 4 years

Text

Lacho fake marriage AU outline

@sob-dylan after your messages I spent the entire day thinking about that Lalo/Nacho fake dating/marriage AU and while I can’t give this fandom the 30 chapter slow burn fanfic it deserves, I can give you my rundown of one!

Lalo’s an ambitionless spoilt little brat in his mid 40’s who always thought he could just coast through life, party and have a good time and fuck whoever he wants. Which was the case, until he screws up really bad and it’s revealed to everyone in no unclear details that he’s gay as the night is dark. He thought it wouldn’t be a big deal, that tio Hector would just turn a blind eye to it like he usually does. But this time, it’s different, and Lalo is running danger of getting disowned - in a best case scenario.

And that… actually hurts Lalo. Pissed and sulky that his own family, who he’d do everything for, is so ready to just throw him out over something as trivial as this, he actually starts developing some ambition. They wanna disown him? They won’t be able to, if he’s their boss. He’s gonna show them. He’s gonna show them all.

So he actually starts rivalling Hector’s son for position of Don Hector’s successor. (I’d say Hector never ended up in a wheelchair cuz he’d lend himself perfectly for an antagonistic power in the story.) There’s just one problem: Lalo’s got to be married for the job. Now he COULD just get himself a fake girlfriend - or he could piss everyone who spurned him off even more and get married to a guy. Now all he needs to do is find a man whom he trusts completely, who can handle himself in sticky situations, and who is ready to set foot into the lion’s den that is the Salamanca family and the cartel business.

What better candidate than dear Ignacio.

Nacho is of course not exactly enthusiastic about the proposal, and no promises of material wealth will change his mind. So Lalo strikes a deal with him. Complete immunity for Nacho and his dad, protection from within and outside of the Salamanca family, even after their business has concluded. Which it will, after Lalo has reached his goals, and then Nacho is free to go his merry way. Nacho agrees, under one more condition: Any physical affection happening between them is purely for show, and the moment they are in private, he will NOT let Lalo lay a single finger on him. He’s no hooker, and he will most definitely not become Lalo’s little plaything.

They shake hands on it, and before Nacho knows it, he’s in Mexico, at the Salamanca’s place, and the wedding preparations are already underway. Oh my god this would be my fav part because Nacho would be introduced to Lalo’s buddies, cuz you KNOW he’s got a huge circle of syccopha- I mean friends at home that he hangs out with all day. They laugh at all his jokes and they play poker with him and Lalo has missed them SO MUCHHH. Anyway, this would be. SUCH a good opportunity. To come up with some female Salamancas. Does Lalo have sisters? WHAT ABOUT LALO’S MOM. I WOULD FUCKING LOVE to read about Lalo’s mom. I bet she’s amazing, just as much of a spoilt little drama queen as he is, and Lalo is a TOTAL mommy’s boy, no one can convince me otherwise. (Maybe his dad has been out of the picture for a while, cuz I would really like to push this whole Hector-is-Lalo’s-father-figure angle.)

ANYWAY, back to Lalo and his mom. She’s a tough as nails lady, lofty and reserved, but overly protective of her son. They’re super close and affectionate with each other and it’s so weird for Nacho to see cause he thinks it’s the first time that he sees Lalo with someone that he seems to. Genuinely… CARE about?? Except for Hector, that is. But mamá is not a huge fan of Lalo getting married to Nacho, she can’t understand what the FUCK her son is doing there, she begs him to PLEASE stay under the radar with his caprices and tries to talk him out of it.

This in turn only goads on Lalo. He’s getting more and more tired of the way he’s being treated. It’s not that he actually has enough social awareness to deplore his family’s homophobia. For him, this is personal. He’s been a good boy, he’s loved his family and been loyal to them all his life, he’s kept his desires on the down low for all these years, now they’re turning on him because of one measly slip up?? He’s fed up, betrayed, and he’s gonna show them. And totally not win back their respect or anything, this is not what this is about at all, noooo~

There would of course be more Salamancas, most of them taking issue with the marriage, but I do absolutely adore the idea of overly supportive Tuco!! Just THINK about it, everyone greeting the newly married couple awkwardly or even with slight hostility, only Tuco barrels in like “YEEAHHH, where’s my favorite cousin?? You and my man here? You be good! Nacho, you’ll do good by Lalo, right? Riiiight!” And everyone grows more uncomfortable by the minute while Tuco can’t read a room for shit and he’s having SUCH a ball, he’s so PUMPED it’s not even funny.

There’d be all this tension between Nacho and the other Salamancas in the weeks after the wedding, it would be glorious.

And of course there’s the matter of Nacho and Lalo having to pretend they’re married for. Other reasons than a cold and calculated agreement. They don’t spend their entire day together, both taking care of various dealings. Nacho gets incorporated in the Salamanca’s business this side of the border and proves himself just as much of a reliable associate as he has been up North.

But whenever possible, they have to have dinner together, breakfast together, and sleep in the same bed. Fortunately, they’re both professional enough to arrange themselves with the situation quickly. Lalo is sometimes a bit flirty about it, but when Nacho makes clear that he doesn’t appreciate the come-ons, Lalo backs off.

Of course Lalo still reserves his right to fuck whoever he wants, just that he has to go back to being absolutely stealth about it. Only Nacho and his lovers know about it, and it’s not that Nacho disagrees with anything that’s happening, he’s not enough into Lalo to get jealous (yet), but this is starting to look a little bit weird to him, especially when he finds out that this is how it’s been for Lalo all his life.

Nacho doesn’t understand much about social awareness either, but he knows a repressed gay when he sees one. He gets all these insights into Lalo’s life, into how he grew up, and Nacho can’t help feeling at least the slightest bit of sympathy for how Lalo had to deny himself his entire life. Him being bi wasn’t always easy either, but at least he’s not a Salamanca! …Or at least, he didn’t use to be. Maybe Nacho talks about it to some of Lalo’s buddies, some of who maybe have even known Lalo since childhood, and who have seen him struggle with this all his life.

Just… UGH, this would be the perfect opportunity to explore just how much self-denial and internalized phobias have wreaked havoc in Lalo’s head! Because if you try to approach this from Lalo’s PoV, he’s not gonna see it at ALL. A river in Egypt, baby, that’s where Lalo is about this. He’s fine, he’s FINE, he’S F I N E, he didn’t have dreams about tio Hector shooting him in the face as a kid after that incident in the desert back when he was ten, no, he’s fine, HE’S FINE!!! But his buddies? They’re probably not the princes of social graces either, but they have EYES and maybe one or two of them give enough of a shit about Lalo to actually have noticed what’s going on, and it would be so good to have them reveal that knowledge to Nacho!

So while Nacho starts seeing Lalo in a slightly different light (we’re talking VERY slightly, repressed gay or not, he’s still a murderous sociopath), but still, there’s part of him that grows protective over Lalo. They spend a couple of months together, and Nacho is starting to settle. He only has one half of a bed instead of a whole one, but other than that, the tasks are much the same as they used to be, the goddamn luxury in which he’s suddenly living doesn’t hurt either, and it’s almost scary how easy it is to get used to all of this.

Lalo’s PDAs don’t bother him, and neither do the hostile stares. This is his role, and he’s gonna play it. There would be so much time and space for lots of power play between Nacho and Hector here, or Nacho and the other Salamancas, and it would be a thing of beauty. They live their lives under the ever watchful and suspicious eyes of Hector Salamanca, and Nacho and Lalo are starting to form an excellent team. No one can really do anything against them cuz their work is solid as all hell, and Nacho’s growing more confident by the minute.

There’s just one problem, and that’s the fact that Lalo behaving all respectful towards him and the casual kisses they sometimes share to keep up appearances are kinda starting to linger on Nacho’s mind. Lalo takes actions that show Nacho that he was being absolutely serious about protecting him as part of their deal, and Nacho can’t remember the last time someone protected him.

Nacho becomes a bit less strict about the no-body-contact-in-private policy, lets Lalo give him a massage when he’s all tense and returns the favor, and it’s not lost on him that Lalo does express some signs of attraction towards him, though he explains it away with Lalo just being. You know. Lalo.

There’s just one problem. It’s been forever since Nacho has seen Manuel, and Nacho really feels like he should check up on him. But he knows it’s against their agreement for him to just go back to New Mexico whenever he feels like it. So he offers a mutual breaching of their rules: Lalo lets Nacho go to New Mexico for a couple of days, and in return, Nacho will sleep with Lalo. This is of course an offer that Nacho makes while already climbing into Lalo’s lap, just to hasten the decision making.

But after letting Nacho squirm for a second, Lalo declines. He gently pushes Nacho away and says that tio Hector wouldn’t be happy at all if Nacho just ran off like that. Why don’t they just take a little vacation together? And Nacho is like: “A vacation. In New Mexico.” And Lalo is like “Yeah idk either we’re gonna be bored out of our damn minds!” And Nacho actually laughs. He’s not happy about having to take Lalo with him, but it’s better than nothing.

So they go to New Mexico together, which officially counts as a road trip and I am a very happy boy. There’s gonna be endless mariachi songs and Lalo singing along, fun for everyone! They rent a little vacation home in Abq for a couple days, and Nacho invites Manuel over for dinner. Nacho is super nervous beforehand, but Lalo talks him down, tells him about how his cooking will immediately convince Manuel that he’s got himself the perfect son in law, and Nacho almost appreciates the sentiment - if only it were that easy.

Lalo lets Manuel in, and the most awkward dinner of all time ensues. Lalo aggressively tries to make conversation while Manuel and Nacho eat their food in complete silence, the tension between them so thick you could cut it with a knife. After the main course, Lalo excuses himself to, idk, look after the dessert that he left out on the patio table to cool.

Finally, Nacho asks Manuel how the shop is, and Manuel is preeetty taciturn, just says yeah, it’s fine, and then Manuel opens his mouth and he’s just. So aghast at. Everything transpiring in front of him. Ignacio, what is going on here. You went to Mexico? Got married? To a man your dad’s never even seen? And half a year later you suddenly show up and wanna have dinner together?

And Nacho knows he is kidding himself if he thinks this is just magically gonna fix anything, but he just wanted to make sure his dad is okay. And concerning the man he married… well. He said who he is, right?

But Manuel’s like, he said his name was… Lalo?

And it finally dawns on Nacho that Manuel’s got no clue who he’s having dinner with. And Nacho just. Puts his face in his hands as if he could just hide, from this conversation, from his dad, from everything, and he murmurs: “Eduardo Salamanca.”

And his dad, he’s so deeply shocked, he just stares, and in that moment it really hits Nacho that through all these months of getting accustomed and settling in, through all the calculating and scheming that’s ruled his mindset day after day, he has forgotten who it is that he shares a bed with every night, even if it’s just symbolical.

“Salamanca”, he hears his dad repeat incredulously, and it’s like he’s seen this all before and he wants to say it, he wants to say that he’s doing all this just for his papá, but he can’t, and no matter what he does he won’t win his father’s love back, especially not with stunts like this, and when Manuel gets up to leave, Nacho can only follow him half-heartedly and watch him drive away into the night from the door, until his taillight vanishes in the dark.

Along comes Lalo, all chipper and acting completely clueless, like, what have I missed? Oh, your dad left so soon? What a shame, now he’s gonna miss dessert! But Nacho’s not listening, he’s leaving, getting his car keys, and Lalo… actually lets him.

Nacho just needs a couple of hours alone, driving through his hometown, and he’s lucky there’s so little traffic cuz he can barely see through the blur that’s suddenly befallen his vision, and he drives, and drives, past his old school, past Tampico Furniture, until it’s late in the night.

When he gets back, Lalo’s fallen asleep on the couch, and Nacho crawls on top of him, and starts kissing him, and he just doesn’t care, he needs this right now, he’s just desperate for something, anything.

Of course it doesn’t mean shit. It was just what Nacho needed, nothing more, nothing less. And when Lalo offers a little trip the next day, Nacho is glad to have something take his mind off of last night. Not that it was bad. Quiiite the opposite. He still has bite marks all over his neck and when he sees Lalo hop under the shower he notices the dark red streaks all the way down his back and uhm YES that is a THING that Nacho FEELS and MAYBE he just bit his lip at the sight but yeah. MAYBE he hit rock bottom yesterday night and then proceeded to have the most mindless, hottest sex of his entire life. Maybe. I just need Lalo and Nacho to be so sexually compatible in all the best and most horrible ways.

They take the trip back and somehow, with every mile away from Abq, Nacho’s dark thoughts dissipate a little bit more, as he returns into a world where he understands the problems, and he can handle them, and he’s in control, and he doesn’t owe anyone any explanations or emotional debts.

This is where all the dramatic shit could happen, like Nacho taking on harder jobs, going on a shootout with the twins, or Lalo getting back from a deal gone wrong, or them having to pull off some dangerous stunt together, and there’s bullets flying and blood and injuries and fretting over the other one’s life and pulling each other out of harm’s way and don’t you dare die on me we still haven’t reached our goal yet we’ve come so far godDAMNIT DON’T YOU DARE!

And when Nacho wakes up, bandages all over, he expects to be alone, but instead there’s Lalo, who’s fallen asleep by his bedside, and. It makes Nacho feel all sorts of things, but he’s not ready, not yet, to acknowledge this. Also he’s just seen Lalo shoot three guys while grinning like a maniac so that’s a thing.

Nacho’s in it for the long haul now, and he stays with Lalo through hardships and dangers. He eliminates every threat to Lalo effectively and efficiently and helps him on his rise to power. When someone schemes against Lalo, Nacho sniffs it out and saves him. When Hector or his son have plans to move against Lalo, Nacho’s there to thwart them.

In time, the violent lifestyle he’s exposed to affects him less and less outwardly, though it doesn’t stop leaving marks on his psyche. Days blend together, and Nacho alternates between a life of domesticity and that of a crime lord with ease now. And when he beats a guy that he was supposed to torture into revealing information into a bloody pulp because his mind has turned into scorching rage against absolutely everything and everyone, when he wrests the canister from Lalo’s hand, douses the entire house in gasoline and flicks the match in with a dark and merciless glint in his eyes, it only takes until they’re back by the car that Lalo shoves him on the backseat and kisses him so hard and deep it feels like he’s drowning, the smell of gasoline and ash still fresh on their skin.

Idk whether Hector dies of natural causes, or whether Gus swoops in as a final boss to take care of him, but after Lalo and Nacho have reached their goal, and they could end it, they find new aims, like taking down Don Eladio, taking down Gus, new excuses, just like Nacho has always found excuses not to run away from the Salamancas. Lalo and Nacho are both uprooted and looking for closure, through the years, they’ve grown closer than they ever anticipated, know each other better than anyone else.

And without realizing it, Nacho himself is slowly turning more and more into a true Salamanca.

#Lacho #Nacho Varga #Lalo Salamanca #Better Call Saul #BrBa BCS #my fanfiction #not exactly but I'm still gonna tag it #cw: canon typical violence

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cake-writes · 4 years

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hi boo 🥺 originally i wanted to dm u but im too shy so, here i am im a writer but recently i feel shit about my writing and i think im not even that good 😪 just wanna know if you feel like this sometimes? and what do you do every time?

Hi darling!!! You know, I do!!! I absolutely do. I think every writer does, honestly! Wanting to be better is part of being human.

Like, okay. Real talk.

The newest chapters of Compromise and Six that I’ve been working on for weeks? I think they’re straight trash. They don’t flow as nicely, they’re not as descriptive, they’re not as ~*pretty*~, they don’t fit with the rest of the story and I’m honestly so disgusted with them that I’m procrastinating working on them. 👁👄👁 But I will once I get over that, lmao, it’s just taking some time for me to because I’m really struggling with overall feelings of self-worth. The last couple of weeks have been better, so what I’ve been doing is focusing on one-shots and ‘easier wins’ like that to get my confidence up to tackle the bigger stuff. Compromise is my most ‘famous’ fanfic so working on that is kind of intimidating now lmao

I MEAN... I THINK THAT’S WHAT MY THOUGHT PROCESS IS HERE, ANYWAY. I also just smoked some weed for the first time in weeks so here’s that heavy duty introspection. Don’t do drugs, kids. (Or do. Weed is fun. But do it responsibly.)

I’m also really bad at comparing myself to other authors, particularly @heli0s-writes and @nacho-bucky (and KB until I found out about the racism. You know, when I first started on this site my biggest dream was for her to reblog my work one day. So when she finally noticed me - she DMed me - I was like, ecstatic. But she only reblogged a handful of people’s work, never mine. OH WELL.) Oh FWIW I also squealed out loud the first time @fvckingavengers, @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan, @brooklyn-boy, and @nacho-bucky reblogged my shit. like. I screeched.

ANYWAY.

TL;DR Yes, it’s totally normal to feel down on yourself about your work. What makes me feel better about it is receiving such positive feedback, honestly. Posting things that I know are good (through perfectionism 🤦‍♀️ rereading my shit like 200 times before I post), and getting those positive comments really helps my creative process. If I need to, I take a break and focus on myself for a little while, but that’s hard to do because I thrive on external validation. lmao I hope this helps a little

POSITIVE COMMENTS = SEROTONIN

(oh whoops the meme I put here I didn’t notice that the juice missed the cup lmao MY BAD, POSITIVE COMMENTS ARE VV GOOD I’m just a dumbass hahaha fuck let’s use this one instead)

#cake responds #trigger warning #mental health #drug mention #writing discourse

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juniebjoneswrites · 3 years

Text

Bring Me Home // Harry Styles

This is War (2)

What does running do for me? Other than being a gateway drug to mindlessness, it shows me places I didn’t know existed. It also gives an incredible high that puts some meat on my bones. Like seriously. I could write love letters to my endorphins. I would ask how they’re doing and if they missed me while I was gone. I would ask how they felt in the dark and when it came time to play, I would dream of their favorite games. They have answers to questions I can’t ask, and know when to turn a blind eye to the darkness in my mind. I am thankful for their wilful ignorance.

There’s a street I run that has a name I’ve never cared to remember but I know the way there like I know my way up the cliff. It’s been an ongoing venture. I see the lives there in the mornings as they wake up, innocent to the day that reaches beyond their grasp. I know if they stretched a little further they could touch it. Would they hand it to me if they could? They’ve seen me running for so long now they think I’m just a girl from down the street. I belong, so I must be safe. Right?

I see them in the night when they stumble home after a day when their outstretched hand just wasn’t quite good enough. They have all the makings of myself. I revel in their sorrow, but offer help. “Ah, one of the runners,” they say. They ask how I am and if I’m liking the neighborhood. I smile politely, “It’s beautiful, I’m just around the corner,” I always motion behind us regardless of where we face. “It’s the brick one with a balcony,” usually they’re too wrapped up in their day to realize they’re all bricks with blaconies, or too polite to press further. Maybe they just think I’m being clever and safe.

“Let me help you inside,” I call out to a man as he stumbles from his car. He gives me a look of recognition as he hands me his keys. I smile in return. We’ve spoken before.

“Thank you,” he licks his lips. I smile wider, fighting back bile in the back of my throat. “Would you like to join me?” It would be a lie to say that all our conversations were innocent.

“I’m sure your wife wouldn’t like that,” I respond coyly.

“No wife,” he holds up his bare ring finger. ‘Bare’ being a generous word. There’s a tan line where his band would be, he's taken it off for the night. Maybe wants me to think he’s newly divorced.

His wife is on a work trip for the night. I know this because she told me the day before as I helped her put a big, fancy carseat in the back of her car as the child herself was throwing a fit. “Of course it delivers the day before my trip and I have to rush before work to get it in,” she laughed and wiped her brown hair from her forehead and tucked it behind her ear. Her wedding ring glistened in the morning sun. “Husbands are useless, but I’m sure you’ll learn that eventually.” I laughed with her and commented that he must be okay if he’s going to be watching the child while she’s gone. She tells me her daughter will be with her grandparents.

His words tumble out together and I hear them fall around me like a castle under attack. “But seem like someone who wouldn’t care,” A flattery king. Knights may be able to stop the soldiers but they can’t fight catapults. My anger bubbles. I steal my smile. I move up the stairs and grab his keys. This is a war.

Leaning against the frame I put the key in the door and swing it open wide. He smiles, I whistle a tune, he stumbles through. I lead him to the couch and he pulls me on top. He tastes like a deep bourbon and nachos with extra onions. I let him take my running jacket off. The knife I have in a hidden pocket clatters to the floor and I worry he’ll question the sound. He doesn’t, and it’s clear he doesn’t care that I have, in fact, been running. I tell him I need to use the restroom and that I'll be right back. He gestures vaguely so I find my own way, but not to the bathroom. How easy to trick with a promise of reward. I line up my men.

Their family photos are on the walls telling stories of vacations and holidays. Just the three of them, the prettiest lie of them all. I stare as if I could learn some secret as to how a mother could do what she did and move on. I see theirs play out like a book and I’m filled with an anger that blinds me. They’re ready for orders.

I think of my knife so I stock back to the man on the couch only to be met with snores. Sometimes it just works out. I pity him, in his suit and tie, his loafers haphazardly in the entryway. I fantasize my life in this home. I walk their rooms and lay in their beds, I drink their juice and eat their snacks. My fingers trace the walls for fault lines and I wonder if there had been a boy here how different it would look. She wouldn’t have needed the child’s seat, he was already grown. The crayons of the walls in his room would look different here. The dolls and gowns, replaced with his stones and telescope. I am angry. A life he never knew and will never see. He would have liked a sister. Fill it with rocks.

I pull his picture from the pocket of my running pants and look for a marker. “1993-2016” I write. “You killed him.” I am not the only one to blame. ‘He found you!’ I wanted to scream at her, ‘You left and he still found you,” but that wasn’t entirely true. I had found her. I brought her name into his home and changed things, so now I will bring his name into this home and change these things. “Elijah Perry” I write near the bottom, “Taken three months before his death.” I clip the photo to the fridge and walk out. Release.

When does the sheep become the wolf? Or was I a wolf in sheep's clothing this whole time? I am growing claws and my teeth cut my mouth as I speak. It fills with salt and blood. Maybe I’ll become like cured meat with all this salt and my decay will be slow. Agonzing. My fur will matt and my family will become afraid. I will age slowly and watch them leave, seeing their funerals from the woods edge. And when the wolf finally leaves to possess someone else, the only one who will see me to my grave will be a ghost.

I don’t run again. I walk the veins of the city and let them guide me through it’s ebb and flow. It feels like I’ve thrown the daughter of a cliff into a stampede of wildebeests and I wonder what she’ll think when she’s older. When do I get that scar over my eye? I think I deserve the mark. If Cain did then so do I.

“Hey sweetie,” a voice calls from the shadow of a rundown bar. Unfortunate luck for him if he tries anything further. I flip him off and keep walking. I recognize my surroundings. There’s a pizza place up the corner. A long night of treachery will leave you hungry.

The warmth of the pizza fills the coldness in my body. I didn’t realize I started shaking until I reached for my water. I quickly fist my hand and push my pizza away, my breaths becoming fast and impatient. Resting my head on the table I let the solid coolness rush my mind and steady my thoughts. I focus on my breathing and count backwards from one hundred.

100, 99, 98, 97, 96, I can see his face. 95, 94, 93, 92, I watch him at a New Year's Eve countdown grinning and blowing his whistle. 91, 90, I squeeze my eyes tighter. Press my head harder to the table 89, 88, 87, I might be sick. 86, 85, 84, 83, 82, 81, 80,79,78,77,7767574737271

I see him on the cliff.

I’m telling him to stop.

He doesn’t.

I throw my head back and open my eyes. 48, 47, 46, 45, 44, the warped window reflects a distorted version of myself with no discernable features, just a shadow ready to disappear at the first sign of light. A fly crawling on the window stops on my face and I’m wondering if it’s an omen.

The door opens with a jingle from the bells and a figure stands behind me. I don’t care to look at the reflection. “Fuck off,” I let out through a cry. I am very intimidating.

They don’t say anything and walk away. I drop my head, tears sliding off my face. A moment later they return and hand me some napkins. I glance at them and then at my greasy, sauce stained pile of my own. Reluctantly I take them, “Thanks. Now please leave.”

I wipe my face as they shuffle in place and hesitantly clear their throat. I’m instantly annoyed. I spin around to face them, “What?” I say in more of a defeated, angry tone.

Well kids, I guess we get to answer that question here and now. I let my head fall to my arm that rests on the seat’s back. “Of course,” I mumble. “Why not?” Turning around I pull the pizza back to me and take a bite. He still doesn’t move.

“Well if you’re going to,” I motion to the seat next to me. He takes it and looks even more uncomfortable which makes me laugh slightly. “You’re being really weird, you know,” I say through a bite of pizza. “If I didn’t know you you would have a bloody nose already.”

He sits up straighter, “Sorry,” he picks at the paint on his nails. “I, uh, just saw you and recognized you from running and the gas station. Just wanted ask if you’re okay,”

“Why?” I ask harshly then, closing my eyes, wince at my stupidity.

He looks confused, “You don’t remember?” “I remember the gas station just fine,”

“No, uh, we’ve been waving at each other... while we run,” it sounded more like a question than a fact. His eyes dart around. “For, like, a few months before the gas station and then I stopped seeing you,” he trails off.

I started running after Elijah went missing. I wasn’t a runner before then so what sparked this new interest, I couldn’t tell you. I ran night and day after realizing it was the one thing that stopped my thinking and focused my breathing. There is a lot I don’t remember from the past year, this being one of them.

“You don’t remember?” he asks. I don’t say anything. He nods understanding, “I just thought you recognized me but didn’t want to…. Interrupt… or something,”

“I have no problem interrupting,” I reply. He slightly laughs, “but what’s wrong you can’t fix, so,” I take another bite of pizza. “And I wave at all the runners I pass. Good to have people remember you if you go missing,” I give a slight wave of my hand and shrug.

He nods. “Well I hope I see you running again,” he gets up, unsure of his movements, I guess not wanting to push any further.

“June,” I say, as he rights the chair, “That’s my name. Fair since I know yours.”

“Nice to meet you, June.”

My smile lasts until he’s past the shop's window and I'm back to staring at my face. I think of Mulan crossing her bridge and wiping half her makeup off in her reflection. I think of Harry and what in the actual Wattpad hell just happened. I close my eyes and rest my chin in my hand while I finish the second pizza. Harry’s face turns into Elijah’s and the waves start crashing. My body tells me to run.

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thefallenbibliophilequote · 3 years

Text

I Know Places

Loki x Reader

1989, chapter 12

"And everyone was watching"

Word count: 5,106

Warnings: an intense game of Uno, angst, fluff, Odin, and one perfect punch. Not in that order.

A/N: we are so close to the end! Thank you @chrissquares for the beautiful dividers! And thank you so much for @nacho-bucky for beta reading this for me!

No one is allowed to repost my writing or steal or copy my work! Reblog on tumblr is fine.

Series masterlist

Song on Spotify and YouTube

His hands were on your waistline yet again when you woke up. It has been this way ever since Bruce cleared you from the med bay. Loki refused to leave your side. Every time as you fell asleep you felt the tingles of Loki's magic, helping you calm your mind and dream peacefully. Loki had told you all about what happened, so once he managed to get through your powers he took it upon himself to make sure you sleep safe and sound. You didn't remember your dreams, yet whenever you woke up you could not feel more at peace. It had been far too long without Loki for you- it always was.

You slowly cracked your eyes open through the daylight, coming face to face with the trickster god sound asleep. You couldn't help the smile that took over you- he looked so young, so innocent, here sleeping next to you with a soft light casting shadows on his long lashes. You brushed a strand of hair from his face and when he stirred you turned around and backed into his embrace.

"Good morning, darling."

"Good morning, Loki." You hid your head into the soft pillow loving how it now smelt of him, taking his hand that was draped over you and lacing your fingers with his, tightening his hold on you.

Opening your eyes you looked at the small blaze that stayed seated on your bedside drawer.

"Oh shoot, we forgot to put the candles out last night." You looked around the room where candles were still lit up, giving the room a warm light besides the illumination from outside.

"Leave it, darling. Let's go back to sleep." He kissed the side of your neck, grunting when you got out of the bed, leaving him in the warm sheets. "You don't need to put them out."

"It's dangerous, Loki, it'll take just a moment."

You went around the room and put out the small fires along the way, one by one. You got to your dresser and blew on the candle softly before stepping away, and then you noticed it didn't die out. You blew on it again and yet it only swayed.

"I can't put this one out." You tried again.

"Maybe it doesn't want to, just leave it be." Loki groaned as he stretched in bed. "Leave it lit."

You huffed and blew on it again with more force, and the fragile little flame burnt out, leaving the room lit only by the outside rising sun.

Satisfied with yourself, you went back to the bed, and fell on top of Loki with a giggle.

"Okay, now we can rest."

•

The walls were filled with hushed chatter as Thor passed the gold filled halls. He went through the familiar corridors with his head held up high until the guards pushed open the door for him and he entered the throne room.

"My son, what have you come here to inform me?" Odin looked down upon the golden haired prince as he walked towards the stairs of the Allfather.

"Well Father, I'm sure you will be glad to hear that we managed to find Y/N and she is all better now." Thor smiled at his father before continuing, "We also found the missing weapons, but I'm afraid there are some bad news as well…"

"Well, get on with it."

"We figured out who was responsible for the missing weapons- apparently it was Lady Iyllir, Father."

"What? How preposterous. You can't expect me to believe that! The lady and her family are very well respected, and the young lady is to marry your brother soon!"

"During the battle we saw her there- she was threatening Y/N and others. Loki had to take her down." Thor tried explaining to his father, but it was of no use. "I saw it."

"You saw it? Are you certain Loki didn't just act without thinking?" Odin questioned his son, Thor just nodded, remembering how Loki had looked at you when you laid motionless as they took you back from the warehouse.

"I have no doubt that he thought it though, what was done was necessary and just."

Odin only hummed, considering his son's claims.

"It ended as it should have, and besides- we got everything back!" Thor laughed lightly, smiling at his father but it didn't last long.

"Not everything."

•

"As much as I love having you back, kid, I will have Steve ground you to your room if you do what you're about to do!" Tony threatened you and you bit your lip to hide your smile. You looked to Natasha in front of you, and to Loki next to you, before laying the card on the center of the table.

"Take four, Uno." You let the smirk take over your face.

"Gosh-darn it- fucking hell-" Tony grumbled as he took cards from the pile.

"Come on Tony leave her alone, her cards were just better than yours." Steve chuckled and looked over at you.

"Yeah Tony, I won fair and square." Loki smirked besides you and put a hand around your waist.

"No, I don't trust it." Tony pointed at Loki and then at you. "You helped her cheat, didn't you?"

"I don't know what you mean, Stark." Loki tilted his head a bit in a show of innocence, but Tony didn't have any of it. "Why would I interfere in the game?"

"You kids are in love, that gives you motive!"

"Perhaps, but alas you have no proof." You could feel him relax next to you as others laughed and some even threw cards around until you couldn't continue playing the game and instead you just talked about nothing in particular and ate snacks.

You looked around at all your friends with a small smile on your lips. It felt all too familiar and yet so foreign to you. You never thought you would have this, a family doesn't end in blood but it doesn't have to start there either. There, through the spies and geniuses, you found a place where you felt protected and happy- a safe haven. Maybe every bait and switch in the tapestry of your life was a work of art that was meant to bring you all the way here. It was almost perfect, you almost had everything you could wish for but you decided not to dwell on that now while Loki was smiling so openly and Steve was laughing alongside the group that gathered around you- surrounding you with warmth even December storms couldn't penetrate.

"Love," Loki called you in a quiet voice. You looked up at him. "What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?"

You almost winced at that, but you only shook your head.

"I'm just-" for luck of a better word, "home."

You stayed in the compound with the team for the weekend, the quiet outside and the trees helped all of you get some normalcy after everything that happened. You missed that.

It seemed like Loki understood you, he always did, as he kissed your forehead and brought you back to the conversation. It was almost weird seeing him exchanging non harmful snarky comments with Bucky, and somehow getting along with your newfound family, but you only took it with a smile, basking in the warm feeling as you caught Steve's eye and offered him a smile which he returned. You couldn't wish for anything better than this.

•

Loki has been called by Odin to a meeting, and so he reluctantly got out of your bed as daylight reached your window and was now walking into the palace. He was stopped in his tracks, however, by a shriek.

"You!" he turned to see Iyllir's mother pacing fast towards him with her husband trailing behind her. "You are a murderer, you killed our daughter and you dare walk here with pride? You are a disgusting vile frost giant-"

"If I were you, I would be careful with how you talk to your prince." He sharply replied. Loki didn't spare a thought about Iyllir's parents- or her demise at all, so it didn't occur to him that her parents would still be at the palace. "I understand your grief, I sincerely apologize for it, but your daughter was a traitor of Asgard and forced my hand. The deed was justified."

"You can say whatever you want, prince," Iyllir's father spat the word at him and he clenched his jaw, trying to keep his composure. "Our daughter only did it because of you! I heard the rumors, everyone knows about the Midgardian girl you chose over Iyllir! She was simply doing what had to be done to make you choose correctly!"

The yells started to draw the attention of the workers who were around the palace entrance, he could hear them whisper as they passed by. It's a scene that he is out here in clear sight with the mother and father of the girl he had killed.

"You are nothing but a cunning little fox, a pretend prince, thinking that a mortal could be with such a monster. Don't you know that their petty little lives are but a fraction of ours? Nothing can come out of it but you suffering- and I hope that you will suffer immensely." The once graceful lady was gritting her teeth now. "And as from what I know from Midgard, you can run but the hunters are always hunting for foxes like you."

Loki had had enough of it.

"If that is supposed to be a threat then it is a poor one," his voice was low now and he was satisfied with the way their eyes went wide and they took a step back when he took a step forward. "I suggest you leave Asgard, for good, before I show you what it is like to be hunted. You won't last long, I assure you of that, I will make sure you feel how insignificant you are that you think you can talk to me in such a way. Your daughter hurt the woman I love, and her death was quick but I promise it will not be the case with you if you even dare talk about my love in such a way."

He took pride at the fright in their eyes, the way they scrambled away into the nearest carriage.

Straightening his collar, his sharp glare silenced every whisper in the hallway as he made his way to Odin.

•

You stood in the kitchen, making a batch of pancakes when you saw Loki enter the kitchen. You walked to him with a smile.

"Loki! You're finally back, would you like some pancakes?" You leaned up to kiss him but you barely felt him return it. He seemed to be considering your offer for a bit too long, before he nodded.

"Of course, my love, I would love it." He smiled at you and it made you forget everything else, as well as the batch you had on the pan that was getting burned by the second. Loki scrunched his nose, "Why do I smell smoke?"

You spent the day with Loki, a lazy Saturday afternoon with your lover, a perfect day.

Loki didn't seem to talk much, he didn't have that usual spark in his eye that you always saw. But that was okay, you managed to bring it out of him, you always did.

Your lazy day got ruined when Natasha and Sam showed up at the entrance of the common room with a bucket full of filled out water balloons and a hefty amount of water guns.

"Grab your weapon of choice, Bucky started this so we are going hunting- and you are on our team."

You turned to Loki with a smile; maybe this will cheer him up.

"What do you say, trickster? Do you want to go hunting?" with a smirk Natasha threw a gun your way and Sam threw one towards Loki, as you got up you missed the ghostly look that crossed Loki's face.

Now, you were sure that Bucky and Steve started this as a friendly fight. But the two punks were now running away as the fight turned into a war.

"Come on now Y/N, won't you spare me?" Steve had a mischievous glint in his eyes that betrayed his words. You had him cornered as he had his hands held up at the loaded gun you were pointing at him. You disarmed him from his own water balloons.

"I'm sorry Cap, you started it." As you started spraying him with water he ducked to the side and grabbed water balloons.

"Run."

And run you did, you saw as others fought beside you, when you spotted Loki you grabbed his hand and took him with you. You sprayed water behind you when you tried to lose the ones who chased.

"Where are we running?"

"Come on, I know a place we won't be found!" you giggled when a balloon hit Loki and he glared at Steve who was right on your tail, grabbing your gun and aiming right at his face. At the shriek you heard you knew Loki hit his target.

You ran for the fences up ahead, yelling at Loki to jump right when you did.

"Love," he tried to keep up with you as you pulled him with you. "You have failed to tell me where we are going."

"You'll see! They can't track us here." you took a sharp turn when you reached the woods until you stopped in front of a big tree. You started climbing it and Loki followed until you got high enough that you saw above the other trees. There you decided to lean on the tree while sitting on a wide tree branch with Loki by your side.

Loki kissed the palm of your hand and no words were exchanged when you played with his hair and you watched the skies as they turned into a canvas of warmer shades of colours.

•

Days have passed as you went back to the tower and you found yourself waking up to a cold bed, and if Loki was there with you then he disappeared during the day with the same explanation, "I have a meeting in Asgard."

At what point does an explanation become an excuse?

One day you decided to distract yourself with cleaning your room, so you started with your dresser. Pulling out boxes of jewelry you went to open them and start sorting when you caught side of a green glimmer in the dead of the night just outside of your door and with sudden annoyance you threw the box you held back into the drawer then you closed it and got up from the floor.

"Hi love-" Loki started, smiling when he saw you again.

"Loki, tell me what's going on, you are gone so much lately!" He gave you a smile that you knew all too well.

"I told you-"

"No excuses! What's wrong up there in Asgard?" You sat on your bed and Loki stood in front of you, you tried to pull him to sit beside you but he didn't budge. You saw the resolve fall from his face and his sharp cheekbones only enhanced the somber look he had now.

"It seems that my brother has loose lips whenever he talks to my father, and some talks have spread."

"And what about it?" you tilted your head to the side and watched him as he tried to keep his composure; you saw the anger flash in his eyes but it wasn't directed at you.

"Well, it seems that my father is not pleased about everything that occurred."

"Of course he isn't, but I'm sure Thor made it better if anything!" you drew circles on his palms with your thumbs.

"No, he isn't pleased with what was taken from Asgard- he isn't pleased that a mortal has Asgardian powers," he clutched your hands in his when you started to let go. "He isn't pleased with you."

Now you were the crestfallen one. You tried not to get lost in your head.

"What does he want?" Loki knew you were trying to hide the fear that was sinking deep within you.

You adjusted the skirt of your dress, standing nervously in the middle of the room. You weren't really sure why you were feeling this anxious when you've seen Loki hundreds of times before, but now you knew why as you were straightening your dress you remembered that you bought it because of him- for him. The green of it reminded you of the shirt he often wears; when you complimented him he admitted to it being his favourite colour.

You hoped he would like it.

So yeah it was just another movie night with Loki, but it was the first one after you realized you were in love with him, after you actually let your feelings get inside your head and take over your actions.

The familiar gentle knock on the door startled you from the daze and you went to open the door to Loki.

There he stood in front of you in his green dress shirt- he always dressed like he was a royal going to a gala of some sort. And you loved it.

"Hi darling," Loki took a minute to look you over at the dress you wore. He had to tear his eyes away from your body to look into your eyes. "What are we watching this time?"

He smiled at you as he walked in and you willed yourself to act naturally- he was your best friend, nothing changed.

"I like the dress, you look marvelous in it." You decided to go to the kitchen to get some much needed water and snacks for the movie.

"Yes, thank you." You took pride at the steady voice you managed to voice out.

Loki stood there in the middle of the living room and admired the way your body looked as you wore his colours. He put his hand over the pocket of his pants, feeling the golden necklace he got you. In Asgard it would seem like courting- giving a lady a necklace such as this, but he hoped in Midgard it is regarded as something more casual. He wouldn't want to give away his own feelings that seemed to burst through. Loki knows he can be comfortable around you- you made him feel welcomed and loved. But this feeling is new to him, this feeling towards you was new as well.

He didn't know he was smiling until you walked up to him with a smile and his favourite snacks.

"Let's start!"

As the movie went on you felt more like yourself with him, the chemistry was still there just like he was still your best friend- your newfound feelings didn't change it and you were grateful for that.

"I could never be that," you said suddenly during the movie.

"What do you mean?" You had your legs curled under you as you sat on the couch next to Loki. You turned to him, setting your drink down.

"A hero." When he gave you a strange look you continued. "I know that magic doesn't exist, but everyone dream for it. And I know that everyone, me included, would want to enter that magical universe and get out of this mundane world- but in reality it is never what it seems like."

"But wouldn't you like magic?" Loki felt his heart drop at your words. "You love all of these movies and all of them have magic in them."

"I would love it! But think about it Loki, in reality it would be such a difficult life, even the characters there know it and we see it. So yeah I would love it, but I think it could never be peaceful and it would only end up hurting. So I can long for it, but I don't think I would like to have it," you explained and bit your lip before looking at him. "I'm happy right now."

You smiled at him and continued watching the movie. He decided it is probably better if he didn't give you the necklace tonight.

•

Whatever you imagined Asgard would be like after the countless stories Loki had told you- nothing could have prepared you for the extravagant sights of it. Golden arches and flush greenery everywhere you went. You knew Asgard was a place for the gods, it was a dreamland and yet still this was far from the capabilities of your mind.

The sights of it drew your attention from the reason you were coming here in the first place. That was until you felt Loki's hand squeeze your own, and you started to really notice your surroundings.

You heard the whispers of the Asgardian people as you passed by, standing between Thor and Loki. You saw the judgmental looks people sent your way when they saw Loki's hand was entwined with yours.

Then you saw the palace. If it were any other day, you could've pretended that you were there with Loki for a ball like the one you imagined so many times so long ago. But now you were filled with dread that you were certain you were going to throw up, and it wasn't because of the travel.

The travel was nice comparing to what you expected, a man named Heimdall greeted you and when you looked into his eyes you felt as if he could see through you, as if he knew everything about you. He was still nice to you, wishing you luck as you walked on the bridge towards the palace. You didn't know how he knew but you accepted the welcomed wish.

Loki and Thor were both quiet as you stepped through the guards and when you passed the gate chills went down your spine. You felt as if you were trapped in a box when they closed it behind you, like you just walked into a gilded cage.

You understood what Loki was always ranting to you about- it was stifling in here.

Loki guided you until the three of you reached dark yet golden doors that behind them you knew the Allfather sat. right before the doors opened you looked over at Loki and at the sight of his tense face and hollowed eyes you remembered it all: all the countless times Loki came home to you in distress and on the brink of crying, all those times you had to hold him until his mind finally let him sleep, all those times were you had to force Loki out of all the toxic self destructive thoughts that were planted in his head by his father.

You weren't as scared anymore when the doors opened and you walked forward, holding Loki's hand tightly.

You hated him from the minute you saw him. A king sat there on a throne, you didn't expect anything else but what caught your eye and fuelled your already blazing hatred were the stairs. The throne he was sitting on was placed on the top of a line of stairs that led up to him, letting him look down at anyone who entered the place. It disgusted you, but you had to keep your cool for now, for Loki.

You remembered everything that Loki and the team explained to you about what happened during all this time that the two of you were apart. And most of all you remembered your promise.

"Ah my children, you finally arrived." Odin said before looking at you. You refused to let him see your fear, so you straightened your back but still kept holding Loki's hand. "And are you the midgardian girl I have heard so much about, Y/N?"

You looked at Loki who squeezed your hand and gave you a small nod with a little smile.

"Yes, I am." You tucked your hair behind your ears before getting to what you really were here for. "I heard that you wanted to talk about my powers."

"Yes, my child. Come forward." He told you and you reluctantly let go of Loki's hand. Loki looked at his brother who seemed just as agitated as he was and that was already not a good sign. "I'm assuming you have been told already that by Loki's mistake you have received Asgardian powers. The kind of powers you have are of the ancient arts of Asgard."

"Okay, what about it? Loki protected me and I ended up getting these powers that I have learned to control over the years." you furrowed your brows at the information and tried to smile at your own claims, it had been difficult to process but you understood your powers better now.

"That is well, my child." Odin rested his hand on the armchair and leaned back with his staff. "But since these powers are Asgardian, a mortal should not have them. They shall be taken away from you."

"I beg your pardon?"

"What the fuck?" you and Loki spoke at the same time.

"Father, you cannot do this, she is more than worthy to carry these powers." Loki came forward to stand in front of you now, protective.

"I agree, Father the powers have chosen her. These types of ancient powers were supposed to kill a mere mortal but they didn't, that surely means something about her capabilities." Thor added and stepped forward too, putting a hand on your shoulder. You looked down as you got lost in thought before speaking up.

"How can you do it? Take my powers away, I mean." Loki turned to you but you kept your gaze on the floor.

"Well dear, I am the Allfather, ruler of Asgard and the 9 realms. I am capable of doing things you- a mere mortal, cannot comprehend. And about how I would go about it-"

"May I approach you, before you continue?" you then asked, and it took him a second to consider it before he nodded. What is the harm in a midgardian girl being by him? You shrugged Loki's hand off when he went to take your arm. He was downright scared by the look in your eyes.

You went up the stairs towards the almighty Allfather and when you were on his level, he leaned forward in the chair awaiting what you had to say to him.

"While you are all that, I am Y/N, a human girl from earth and-" you smiled at him before taking your fist and colliding it with his cheek, making him throw his head back in the process. The look of fury didn't startle you when you met his gaze. "I'm sorry, but I made a promise a long time ago, Your Highness." You bowed your head and walked back down the stairs to Loki, who seemed to be at war between a prideful smile and fear for your safety.

"How dare you, you cannot do such a thing-" Odin stood up with his staff ready.

"Can't I?" you tilted your head at him as you stood next to Loki. "I didn't use my powers like I so easily could, because I didn't want to. So do continue what you said."

"Are you mad?" Loki whisper yelled in your ear.

"Quite possibly." You turned to kiss his cheek and found that hidden mischief in his eyes that you loved so.

"Father, please forgive her, I am certain the lady was just upset about the new information."

"Oh no I wholeheartedly meant that." Thor gave you an exasperated look before Odin dismissed him.

"Well as a matter of fact, extracting the powers away from you will involve a very deep process since the powers are so attached to you and your mind. Extracting those means also extracting all the memories of everything your powers have touched or affected- as well as their source."

You did not appreciate the satisfied look he had on when your own face fell as you took in his words. You couldn't be comforted by Loki who you knew would have detected a lie if Odin had uttered it as a form of revenge and pettiness.

You knew that there was no choice as far as Odin was concerned, but you knew Loki and you could feel his brilliant mind spinning around seeking a way out for you, he may have let Odin hurt him but hurting you is crossing a line no one will come back alive from.

So you did have a choice in fact, but given the opportunity you never thought you'd have, the answer wasn't hard to pick.

"Okay." You heard your own voice pick the path you will walk on, your voice was quiet but you knew they all heard you clearly.

"Y/N!" Loki turned to you and you did too. "You don't have to do this, don't think that because he says so I will let it happen when you don't want it!"

"I want it, Loki."

"You what?" he was taken aback- his eyes were studying you now, calculating an explanation.

"These powers Loki, they are not good."

"No, don't say that, don't let him convince you that something about yourself is bad- Norns, darling nothing about you in bad."

He cupped your cheek, trying to get you to understand. But he didn't understand what you were saying. Your eyes turned glossy with unshed tears.

"It's horrible, these powers are evil- I don't want them anymore." You searched his blue eyes but all you got was resistance."I felt them Loki, I felt them and they hurt. I want them gone, and now I have a way to do it."

"No, love can't you see? I've been trying to tell you this from the beginning- Your powers don't only cause harm. They can also heal and calm people down, they can do good- you are good."

"I've been there Loki- inside my mind, and all these powers are just dark. They hurt me, I don't want them anymore. I don't want it, they are staining me like blood on my hands- I don't want to carry this around anymore." You put your head in the crook of his neck, seeking comfort in his touch.

Loki froze in place at your words, they broke his heart because of the way you felt, but you also broke his heart because if you choose to lose your powers then…

Next thing you knew Loki moved away from you and walked out of the door before you could chase after him.

"Loki!"

•

Tags: @ayybtch @buckys-other-punk @chaoticpete @madcrazy50 @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @the-departed-potato @rogerrhqpsody @onceupona-happilyeverafter-love @percabethismyotp14

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thosequeenboys · 5 years

Text

36: Reset (Joe Mazzello x Y/N)

Summary: His 36th birthday a recent memory, Joe is eager to reset himself with a positive focus on his future. Taking care of his precious nieces leads him into a situation that may change his future – and help him realize his dream of having a family.

A/N: I love picturing Joe as a loving husband and dad and wrote this after Joe’s 36th birthday. Recently I wrote Y/N’s version of this story: 36: Half Full. Joe’s family members are written as fictional characters. Any likeness to his real family are unintentional and coincidental. Song lyrics that came to me while writing are bolded and referenced at the end.

Warnings: Fluff, Angst and brief references to a deceased parent, masturbation and Joe as Daddy (!) and a drop of swearing

Joe threw three days of clothing into a duffle bag and took a stab at being grateful. His 36th birthday coincided with the reality that he was between jobs, between relationships and plagued with a little too much uncertainty for his taste. He needed a new narrative, a reset – and a jolt of positivism.

‘Here goes,’ he thought. Being in between gigs allowed him to care for his adoring nieces fairly regularly over the last few months. And now, he’d be staying with them while his sister and her husband attended a wedding. This was a gig he knew well and particularly as of late, cherished. Since his dad died, he found comfort and stability in those two little girls: Josephine, Josie, his dad’s namesake, a growing toddler of 15 months, and Jessie, a highly articulate and bright second-grade graduate. The loss of his dad still stung, but from it was born this intimacy and his solidified dream that now more than ever, he was destined to be a father, with his own loving father as a role model. But for now, the role of beloved uncle would have to do.

He climbed the steps of the stately brownstone and let himself in, bellowing “Hellooooo,” which cascaded up the high ceilings and the floors above. In an instant, he heard a sound that made him feel whole and gave him solace like no other. “UNCLE JOOOOOOEEEEEE,” Jessie ran to him with a huge smile and outstretched arms, and he swooped her up into a big hug. Teetering toward him was Josie, a broad smile on her face, Joe’s sister Patty, trailing behind.

“Jojo!!” Josie said, followed by gibberish. “You said my name??!!” Joe exclaimed happily. He was amazed. Only last week, she didn’t try to say his name. Joe leaned down, perching Jessie on his knee and bringing Josie in for a hug. “My two best girls,” he cooed, bending to kiss each of them.

“Ok, Girls, give me a few minutes with Joe. I have a lot of instructions to go over.” You’ll have him to yourselves for three days soon enough.Joe’s sister, Patty said. “YAY!!!” Jessie yelled jumping up and down, the embodiment of youthful enthusiasm.

“Hey, Joe,” his sister said warmly, as she removed Josie from him and put her on the floor. “Jessie, watch your sister.” She turned to Joe. “Let me walk you through everything.”

“Ok,” Joe said, adding, “I feel pretty well versed, I mean, I’ve been babysitting them and…”

Patty cut him off. “I know. But this is the big league. Every moment. Lots of details. You usually get them at their best and then you can walk away. Let’s start in the kitchen.”

Patty had all the meals and snacks listed in detail, as well a grocery list. “And make sure Josie ONLY gets Stonyfield Farms YO-BABY yogurts!” she implored. It was indeed a house of many yogurts. “Here’s Jessie’s water bottle for camp,” she pointed to it on the counter.

“YO, PATTY, I got it,” Joe said, containing a smirk, and glancing at the pile of papers. The family recipe for nachos-really? He could make them in his sleep.

They proceeded upstairs to the bedrooms where Joe was schooled in Josie’s daytime and bedtime routines (which he knew) and Jessie’s camp routine. “And be sure to hang the bathing suit EVERY NIGHT so it dries COMPLETELY!!” Joe loved his sister deeply, but at that moment his tensed his mouth to avoid responding cattily, “No, I think I’ll leave the wet suit in the bag so it smells gross and is damp for her the next day.”

“Sure, Sure,” he uttered lightly instead.

Fortunately, Joe was saved by the bell in the form of Peter, a strapping accountant with a penchant for murder mysteries, working out – and getting on the road.

“Come on Patty. Quit torturing him before he runs out of here screaming. He can text us. And by the way, he’s been helping out a lot this summer. I told you I wanted to get on the road by 6:00. It’s 6:15. Let’s go.” Peter hefted a suitcase and bounded down the steps. Joe gave him an appreciative nod.

“Go,” Joe said gently to Patty. “We will be fine. I’m looking forward to it. Pete’s right. I’ll text you if I need anything. You guys have a great time away together.”

“I know. I’m sorry to be a nut. I’m just - well. It’s hard to unwind. And so much to keep track of. You’ll see when you’re doing it all-work, family….” She sighed and planted a kiss on his cheek. “Thanks for doing this.” She went to pack a few final things before Peter came to collect her suitcase.

With a kiss to the girls, Patty and Peter hit the road. “OK, who’s ready to show me some bath toys?” Joe said as he closed the door behind them. “I am!” Jessie bounded upstairs to the bathroom, with Joe carrying Josie behind her.

The next morning was Friday. and Joe arose early. He prepared breakfast, packed lunches, put away random toys and checked the shopping list. He woke and dressed the girls, collected Jessie’s backpack and threw in her lunch and bathing suit. After brushing their teeth, he stuffed his own backpack with snacks, lunch, diapers, and wipes, and threw a towel and water toys and sunblock in the stroller basket. He hoisted Josie and grabbed the stroller, and ushered Jessie out the door, which he locked behind him. He ran through a checklist in his mind hoping he remembered everything. He had to admit, Patty was right-it really was a lot of details to manage-along with the constant banter with two young people, eager for expression and interaction as their worlds unfolded with each new day.

They walked half a mile as the summer sun warmed the city pavement. They entered the YMCA that housed Jessie’s camp and proceeded to a large gym where groups of kids gathered by age. Jessie ran to a woman who was waving to her. She had a warm smile and wore a neatly pressed shirt and capri pants with sneakers. She seemed to be taking in everyone-campers, caregivers, staff, while answering questions and ensuring everything was running smoothly. Carrying a clipboard and an array of keys on a lanyard around her neck, she looked very official.

“Hi, Jessie,” she greeted Joe’s oldest niece. “Hi, Josie,” she added bending slightly and peering into the stroller.

“Hi, Y/N, this is my Uncle Joe. He’s taking care of us while my parents are at Cousin Carol’s wedding in…” Jessie provided a litany of details as Joe and Y/N looked at each other and laughed. When Jessie paused, Joe extended his hand. “I’m Joe, nice to meet you.” He suddenly felt awkward. Should he have presented himself more formally, more guardian-like? She smiled. “Hi, Joe. Patty wrote a note saying you’d be helping with the girls. That’s so nice. I’m Y/N/Z, the Assistant Director of the camp. If you need anything please let me know. Jessie is a wonderful camper!” She winked at Jessie who smiled.

Now there’s a woman who knows how to introduce herself, Joe thought. And she’s pretty and warm.

“Thanks,” Joe said, as Y/N turned to speak with a parent. Joe hugged Jessie. “You have your lunch and water bottle?” Joe suddenly felt panicked. “Oh, Crap! I forgot your water bottle. Should I bring it?”

“It’s ok. I’ll use the fountain.” Jessie said.

He appreciated her flexibility, but his inner voice said, “parenting fail!” He thought Patty would freak if she knew. “Good plan. Thanks for being flexible. Have a great day. We’ll see you at 4:00.”

Jessie walked toward her counselor and friends. Joe leaned down to check on Josie who was sitting comfortably in her stroller playing with a toy. “Playground?” he asked. “Pway” she responded, and he gave her a kiss on her leg.

As he headed out, he noticed Y/N on the side, speaking with some counselors. She was really pretty. Really together. He wondered what she did when camp ended. She certainly must like kids, he thought. As Joe reached the exit, still watching her, she turned and waved to him. He waved back with a smile.

Joe and Josie headed to the playground for a morning of water sprinklers, swings, and monkey bars. He followed her around, speaking to her and encouraging her to play with other children. Josie handed another girl her ball. “Say thank you,” the woman with the child said to her. “Very nice, Josie.” Joe praised. Josie suddenly began to get winey, and Joe sensed that she needed to eat before she melted down. “C’mon, let’s have lunch.”

They ambled over to the shady bench, and Joe changed her diaper and washed their hands with a wipe. Then he set out their lunch and they ate turkey sandwiches, the very popular Yo-Baby Yogurt and cut-up peaches, which were perfectly sweet and juicy, symbolic of summer. They sipped water from a bottle, taking turns. After lunch Joe cleaned up. and Josie played a little more. But the sun was at its peak, and Josie was fading. “Let’s go home for a nap.” Joe said as he picked her up. His phone pinged with a text from Patty. “How is everything?” “Great, just taking Josie home from PG for a nap.”

Joe lugged everything – including Josie and himself - up the steps and into the house. He had to admit he was tired. He dropped the stroller and backpack and carried Josie up the steps. She wrapped her arms around Joe’s neck and leaned into him. When he got to her room, he realized she was asleep. He didn’t want to put her down. He sat in the rocking chair and put his feet up on the ottoman. He felt soothed as he held her against his chest. He closed his eyes and without being aware, he dozed. An image of Y/N came to him. It was he fall She was in a flowing dress, cinched at the waist, a blazer and heels. He was dressed in dark jeans and a leather jacket. They kissed and walked hand-in-hand down the street, chatting and laughing.

He was jarred awake by his phone ringing. Ben! He picked it up. “Hey, Buddy-give me a minute!”. He put the phone on the ottoman, got up carefully and laid Josie in her crib gently, moving the stuffed animals away and covering her with the light blanket. He slipped off her sandals and left them on the changing table as grabbed his phone, walking out of the room.

“Hey, Ben.” he said.

“Hey-how’s your 36th year treating you so far?” came the response.

“So far, so good. I’m taking care of the girls for the weekend. Patty and Pete are at a wedding. It makes me realize that I want to have kids. Really badly. Like more than before. If I can’t get it together by my next birthday, I’m going to get a surrogate and do it that way. On my own.“

“Whoa, that sounds really extreme. Isn’t that where you have to jerk off into a cup? You don’t even get to have any fun? Wait: Bet you’d meet a smart, pretty and mature woman on Tumblr who’d gladly assist ---try that first. “ Ben laughed. Joe was annoyed, feeling Ben didn’t see how important this was to him. Joe didn’t want to continue the discussion.

“That’s not the point,” he said curtly. “Moving on, you ok?

“Yeah, yeah, still filming this bloody movie. We should wrap in a few weeks.”

“Finally! Let me call you next week. I got to get Josie ready so we can pick up Jessie and shop for dinner.”

“You really are Domestic Daddy, aren’t you?” Ben laughed again.

“I hope so. One day.” Joe replied softly.

“Seriously. Those girls are lucky to have you. You’re an amazing Uncle. And you’ll be a super dad.” Ben said.

They ended the call warmly, and Joe checked himself in the mirror. He looked like he had been in the hot park running after a toddler most of the day and thought that should be addressed-before he saw Y/N again. He changed his shirt and freshened up. He went to the nursery and saw Josie stirring.

“Hey big girl. You ready to get up and see your sister?” He lifted her out of her crib, still sleepy and laid her on changing table and changed her diaper, shirt and shorts. He kissed her feet and she giggled. He buckled her sandals and took her downstairs.

He filled up the water bottle. ‘Ok, we are ready to roll.” He scooped her up with the stroller and they were on their way.

They arrived at camp a little early. He wheeled Josie in and saw Jessie playing her favorite game, Chinese checkers, with a young counselor. Josie was getting restless and he let her out of the stroller, following her as she walked around.

“Hi, Joe.” It was Y/N, still looking fresh after a full day. She bent down to Josie. “Did you have fun in the playground with Uncle Joe?”

“Fun Un JoJo!” she responded as she toddled around and clapped her hands.

Y/N laughed and turned to him. “A standing ovation. I’m impressed.”

“Ha, well, we had fun, but I have to say, it was tiring. And I’m just watching one! Amazing you look so, uh, calm after running the show here. “ Joe said admirably.

“I’m a third-grade teacher so I’m used to it,” Y/N said. “I’m working on my admin degree so I can be a Principal one day. This gives me good practice,” She said.

“Wow, that’s impressive,” Joe said sincerely. His eyes followed Josie who was headed toward her big sister. Joe followed, with Y/N behind, stopping to check in on various groups.

“Hi Uncle Joe. I’m winning,” Jessie said, self-satisfied.

“Creaming me is more like it,” the Counselor said.

“Well, that’s great, but be a good sport about it,” Joe said pointedly to Jessie. “It’s important to have fun and tell her it was a good game-no matter who wins.”

A counselor came by with an ice pop. She asked Joe. “Would she like one?” “Sure, thanks,” Joe said, as he unwrapped the watermelon flavored pop and took a bite. It was refreshing and quite tasty. He offered some to Josie, who nibbled on it, and it started to drip. He took his backpack off and unzipped it with a flourish, retrieving a napkin to wipe her up.

Meanwhile, as the counselor planned her move, Jessie eyed Y/N, who had sidled up next to her. “Y/N, did you know Uncle Joe is a FAMOUS MOVIE STAR?” she bellowed.

Joe felt the red rising from his neck to his face and he was pretty sure he was creating a new addition to the Crayola 64 pack. Fucking Embarrassed Red. Kids really do say the darndest things. He bent his head down focusing on getting the pop into Josie with minimal mess.

“Wow, interesting,” Y/N responded, playing it cool. “And he’s a GREAT UNCLE!”

“Who is successfully making a mess with this pop,” he retorted, wiping his mouth and giving Josie another wipe, before she took off for the crafts table. One of the counselors hoisted Josie on the bench and set her up with some crayons and paper. “You sure?” Joe said not wanting to be a burden. “Oh, not a problem,” the counselor said cheerily.

Joe looked behind him for Y/N, who had vanished. He wanted to ask her out. He knew he had a brief window of opportunity, before he took the girls home. This would be the last time he’d see her. He looked around hoping she’d dart back into the gym. Meanwhile, he moved to Jessie who was close to winning the game. After a few minutes, out of the corner of his eye, he saw a changed Y/N. He turned to take all of her all in. She was wearing a flowery sundress with wide straps and a deep neckline that accentuated her figure. Her sneakers were replaced with heeled strappy sandals She looked really lovely. You’re just too good to be true. Can’t take my eyes off of you. (1) He didn’t want to take his eyes from her. His plan to approach her was interrupted by Josie waddling over to him and Jessie and the counselor yelling ‘Good Game!”

“C’mon girls,” Joe headed quickly to retrieve the stroller near where Y/N was bidding good-bye to parents.

“You look…nice,” Joe said, trying to sound neutral. “Big night out?” He wondered if she had a date.

“Thank you.” Her faced flushed. “I’m meeting some of my college friends. One just got engaged and another is expecting.” “Lots to celebrate.” Joe said, relived she wasn’t off to a date.

“Yeah,” she said wistfully. “You know, life in the 30’s.”

‘Uh, yeah,” Joe uttered. Suddenly Joe turned, distracted by the girls. He took a deep breath and leaned down. Jessie, can you help Josie into her stroller, please,” Joe said, hoping Jessie would bring it home for him to let this moment unfold. I can't be contented with yesterday's glory. I can't live on promises winter to spring. Today is my moment, now is my story. (2) Turning to Y/N he said, “Y/N, I was wondering, if, uh, one day, you might want to grab dinner.” He said. He held his breathe. She looked at him. “I’d love that. Here, let me give you my number.” She hastily wrote on a paper in her clipboard and gave it to him and he smiled.

He turned to Jessie who was helping Josie into her stroller. “Thanks,” he said, giving her a big smile. “You’re such a good helper. I really appreciate it.”

“Great,” Joe said to Y/N. I’ll probably need 2 days to recover after my sister gets back,” He laughed. I’ll text you. Maybe we can get together next weekend?

“That should work,” she said. “Bye…” her voice trailed off, as a counselor interrupted.

“Have fun tonight,” he called after her, with a brightness in his voice and a spring in his step. He turned the stroller and grabbed Jessie’s hand. “Bye, Y/N” Jessie called. “You like Y/N don’t you,” Jessie said to Joe. Kid didn’t miss a thing. “She seems really nice. Ok. Dinner.” said Joe, changing the topic. “How about we go to the supermarket for nachos ingredients.” When they arrived home, Joe headed to the kitchen, unpacked the groceries and started cooking dinner as the girls watched Dora the Explorer. “UNCLE JOE,” Jessie yelled. “Josie smells!! “Oh crap,” Joe uttered to himself. “literally. WTF, I am in the middle of dinner.” He asked Jessie to hang up her wet swimsuit before he addressed the diaper. . The evening ended with a yummy dinner, The Lion King and a few bedtime stories, which Joe read in a few voices, eliciting giggles from the girls.

Their fun-packed Saturday featured excursions to the Farmer’s market, library and small zoo. After a Thai food dinner, the three of them headed to bed early, exhausted.

Joe woke too early on Sunday. The girls would sleep another hour. His sister and Peter would return in the afternoon. Thoughts swirled through his head non-stop, even before he mobilized himself to make coffee. His first thought was that they could make pancakes; the girls could pour batter into cookie cutter shapes set in the pan. His second thought was ‘Wow, Ben was right, I really am Domestic Daddy.’ His third thought was Y/N. He wondered if she told her friends about him-that she was looking forward to their date. He wondered….Say you'll see me again even if it's just pretend in your wildest dreams. (3). He rolled over and pulled the soft blanket up to his neck, willing to give sleep another try. He drifted off and saw Y/N in his dream. It was winter and they were both bundled in jackets and scarves, holding hands and walking fast, dodging the cold.

“Two, at least,” she said. “What do you think?”

“For sure.” Joe said and he turned to her and stopped. “Well, now that that’s set, we should think about a wedding date first.” They laughed.

He suddenly felt a warm body climbing on him and he opened his eyes. “I’m hungry.” a sleepy Jessie said. Joe rolled over moving her next to him. “Good morning. Me too. How about pancakes. In cookie cutter shapes?”

“Yay!” Jessie responded. “I know where mom keeps them.”

“Great. I’ll meet you downstairs with Josie.”

She ran out, and Joe collected himself as he rolled out of bed. He felt positive and hopeful. Bring on 36!

SONG NOTES

1. Can’t take my eyes off of you, Frankie Valli

2. Today, John Denver

3. Wildest Dreams, Taylor Swift

#joe mazzello x reader #joe mazzello x y/n #joe mazzello #dad!joe #joe mazzello fanfic #bohemian rhapsody fanfic #borhap fan fiction #joe mazzello fluff #joe mazzello angst

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