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neuroticboyfriend · 4 months

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honestly, for me addiction is all about coping with pain. and i don't just mean coping directly with drugs. sometimes it's coping without drugs, either because they're not available or not working. the entire point to my drug use is that i don't want to be in pain, but am unable to utilize healthy coping skills. the amount of pain i was (and still am) in became too much for what i could realistically handle, given my abilities and the support (or lack thereof) around me.

an example is. i ran out of drugs A, B, and C, which all help my anxiety and physical pain. drug D also helps my anxiety and physical pain, but can also cause me panic attacks and dissociation. do i stop doing drug D? no. i finally pull some self-soothing out of my ass. is it difficult? yes. incredibly fucking so, and sometimes, i cant do it. but it is a lot easier for drugs to take up most of the coping work and for me to try my best to fill in the gaps.

a lot of the time, drugs are what people resort to when they have quite literally exhausted every other option. it doesn't mean other options aren't out there somewhere, or they're doomed forever. it just means that right now, that person is at their fucking wits end and is desperate for relief from their pain. addictive self-medication is still medication - it's just a very chaotic, painful, and unsustainable one, that ends up creating as many problems as it temporarily fixes.

so please, for the love of god, give addicts a break. they're trying their best to take care of themselves, and it isn't a failing to not be able or willing to do that better or more healthily. people experience pain. it's a fact of life, and it doesn't have to express itself in a way you find digestible to be needing of support and care.

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lookinghalfacorpse · 2 years

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dsmp characters and smoking? yes? yes.

- c!wilbur’s cigarettes carry different scents with them. it doesn’t take long for people to suspect that they’re laced, and oftentimes they are, but not always with what you’d expect. he gets herbal mixtures from his father; jasmine, tendu leaves, green tea leaves, and plenty more. he smokes in calm moments, and in stressful moments. during conversation, and when he’s alone. sometimes, the smoke in his lungs is enough to remind himself that he is, in fact, breathing.

- c!quackity used to be shit at it. an absolute disaster. each hit he took came with ugly choking and watery eyes-- he failed to see how wilbur found this relaxing (though he might admit that shotgunning hits off of the man, their lips close enough that quackity would time his inhales with wilbur’s exhales and breathe in his smoke, was... nice.) but he was nothing if not determined. by the time las nevadas is over 50% constructed, he’s an expert. he looks good with it. the cigs sit naturally in his hands, like they were made to be there.

- (quackity smokes in the prison, which sam hates. the scent lingers in the cracks of the obsidian, and on dream’s prison uniform. sam doesn’t know where he finds the time to smoke during his “visits,” but he’s not about to ask.)

- c!philza smokes from a long, elegant pipe that sits gingerly between his fingers. he makes his own mixtures, specifically designed to help him with his aching joints and the lasting pain from ancient injuries, and he likes to design mixtures for others. wilbur has tried many types, but phil prefers to give him something calming, like jasmine and sativa, to help with his anxiety and nerves. for technoblade, chamomile and sativa, to quiet the voices.

- (philza makes a green tea and indica mix for c!dream. good for pain, and for chasing away insomnia. he’s not sure the young man ever actually smokes it)

- c!ranboo turns down offers from both wilbur and philza. his mind is unreliable enough, and he’s afraid that the extra substances would make things worse.

- (lying awake on the obsidian floor, dream holds the mixture of green tea and indica between his fingers. it was pre-rolled for him, which was thoughtful-- philza knew he wasn’t experienced enough to do it himself. supposedly, it would help him sleep. sleep was elusive lately, although admittedly better within the safe walls of the prison than it was when he was hiding in the open. but dream knows how the scent will stick to the obsidian. to his clothes. he sets it aside, unlit.)

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fumifooms · 2 years

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L’s sugar addiction & self-medication : character analysis

I have some thoughts on L and his relationship to sugar that I haven’t seen from others yet surprisingly, so I’m making this post that hopefully won’t get too long definitely became long af. I’m very open to counter-arguments or people adding on to this.

Some context: I 100% see L as autistic and there’s honestly no debate to be had, even though I don’t think it was done intentionally. (I respect others having different perspectives, I just think it’s objectively the most fitting label/explanation and I’ll act like it’s a given through this analysis). I’m autistic myself, “high-functioning” meaning I mask decently enough, diagnosed at 18 and started taking concerta for attention this month at 19, I’m also INTP if that matters and yeah uh as a kid I identified a lot with L and Near and wow surprise surprise I got a bit unhealthily reliant on sugar for a while there, so here I go.

Other context headcanons: L has autism, but is undiagnosed, which I believe mostly because Wammy’s House seems to be outside of the government and society’s eye and it didn’t seem concerned with diagnosis or mental health, the time at which Death Note was written in, and just general vibes idk. Even if he was diagnosed, he strikes me as the kind of autistic who wouldn’t care about the label and wouldn’t give much thought to it -mostly because he gives 0 shit about masking tbh and he’s highly fact oriented-, thinking he works well as he is and that medication would change him and the rupture to his habits sound unpleasant, even if down the line it’d be very helpful and it actually doesn’t change you as a person chill. Yeahh, I have an aversion to drugs of any kind, outside stuff affecting my brain chemistry just gives me a big nope, that’s including alcohol, coffee and painkillers, so I can relate even if it’s something I have to get over, and he seems the type of not wanting to be under any effect. Anyways point is: he doesn’t take meds and isn’t super aware of his condition, despite being knowledgeable in his habits and needs in many regards in canon, on the spot I’m thinking about his sitting pose = brain power stat for example.

So why the sugar? The canon explanation is something along the lines of it giving him the energy he needs because he sleeps so little. Yeah fair, that does make sense, and also fits in with what I’ll be talking about:

My explanation: L self-medicates with sugar, which lead to sugar addiction. And I’m being 100% unironic. Those words are thrown around jokingly a lot but sugar addiction is a real issue that doesn’t get addressed much. Confirmation that L’s relationship with sugar is an addiction might even have been like, explicitely stated in canon at some point? But I haven’t seen that around and my memory really isn’t that good. So yeah there’s probably L’s picky food taste because of autism sensory issues in there as well, him just liking the taste and all and wanting same food, but this level of always eating it is more than just a preference. I’m sorry fellow autistic guy that only ate potatoes for all his life and got massive problems, but at least potatoes don’t influence your brain chemistry. Even if it started as a preference and continues to be such, if he’s addicted or not with how much of it he consumes is out of his hands. And where my earlier rambling comes in is: I think he’s unaware that it’s an addiction, I think he doesn’t think much of it, he overestimates his agency and control over his diet, even if he does recognize his dependency on it to a degree. L eats sweets pretty much constantly in canon, so that part won’t be argued about, I’m more interested in the why and how of it.

Let’s refine what sugar addiction is a bit, have this article. (It implied at one point that sugar can’t be truly/gravely addicting but it shows facts comprehensively so I’ll let it slide) Sugar addiction pretty much demands that you eat sugar constantly to get the effects (energy, stimulation that makes your head feel clearer) you seek, when the addiction is in full swing. Sounds self-explanatory yet? Is sugar addiction real? Further reading: healthline.com article, theguardian article, someone’s journey. It’s a complex and debated issue, and sugar is still something important to have in certain quantity in our bodies, I don’t claim to be a biochemist or expert on the topic.

Ok but why sugar? Why would he get addicted? Why does L feel like he need it? Well even if it wasn’t a full on addiction, which in his case it is, sugar gives energy, as mentioned, it can somewhat act as a stimulant. Without mentioning that sugar is widely spread and seen as pretty casual, it’s easy to get into eating it way too much and thinking nothing of it, like coffee, especially if you don’t suspect your craving of it is tied in with how your brain works. In autism, if you tend to be understimulated, you can get prescribed stimulant medication that’s intended or generally given to people with ADHD, like me with concerta, it’s really not that uncommon. Have these article tidbits that adress it as self-medication:

(article 1: addcrusher.com “How You Are Self-medicating your ADHD” - Article 2: Medium.com “Why Adults With Undiagnosed ADHD Often Turn To Self-medication”)

Why do you think L needs stimulants in the first place? He has shown to want more stimuli in general, rather than being overstimulated, even if he does like to have a calm controlled environment. I, too, am an autistic person that gets understimulated easily, which mostly leads me to listen to fast paced music as stimming when doing college exams, etc. L seeks the mental stimulation of puzzles and it’s the only thing he shows interest in doing (canon), again because of the stimulating entertainment factor. Because he doesn’t mind situations that put him under pressure, or in contact with a team of people or in public. He doesn’t mask to appear nice or neurotypical, but he does show no discomfort about an overwhelming amount of stimuli in general. Also because he stims in other ways than solving cases: tapping his feet, playing with food, etc. And, last of all, the reason of this essay, because he eats sweets all the time.

Okay, but sugar as self-medication? Really? Where does your personal experience come into this? Like I’ve mentioned here and there, I get understimulated easily and I only started taking stimultant meds veryyyy recently. That stuff is instinctual; you’ll tap your feet mindlessly if you need more stimulation, if you’re hungry you’ll eat, if you want coffee you’ll get it, if you have a lil sugar craving you’ll seek to quench it, even if you don’t really know why. You do what makes you happy, and if sugar makes you feel good for a while, makes you feel energized or think more clearly then subconsciously you’ll start wanting it more often, hence why you start out not thinking much of it. I wouldn’t describe my case as an addiction, I don’t think I really got withdrawal or super bad or anything, but there definitely were days when i’d constantly be craving and/or eating sweets, always taking breaks from fruitless work to grab another sugary snack every 15 minutes or every hour. Gummies or other candies, cookies, marshmallows, and for a while even literal packets of refined sugar. They were food cravings like any other, feels like “I want some pizza”, but underlaced with need, and a feeling that you’ll feel and function better once you’ve gotten it. But the craving never stops, and you’re never satisfied, you only ever end up taking more and more and more. Yeah, I’d class my experience as an attempt at self-medication, definitely. Often when I'd take a lot and keep surrendering to the craving for more it’d just lead to more intense hyperactivity, manic symptoms and my body going bonkers with sweating and shaking and stuff, but sometimes it’d genuinely help me focus on schoolwork and on concentration.

Conclusion: It’s a stimulant, so it helps L. It makes him feel like it’s helping him think better and be more awake, so he takes more. It keeps working to some degree even if it’s unhealthy, so he never stops it or tries alternatives. That’s kind of all there is to it, in the end. L puts a great deal of interest in his mental state for productivity purposes, but has never seemed to have any care in his body’s health at all, so I don’t think he’d care to change even if he knew how bad it was anyways.

Tangent: I also like the thought of Wammy’s House being pretty abusive in that neglectful (and manipulative) way and Watari being such an enabler, all focused on performance rather than healthy behavior and thought processes, which does work for iq results apparently but at what cost. L and Mello especially def have some self-destructive habits. Anyways yeah- I like that angle instead of the whole thing being “haha quirky”, it sounds narratively consistant and compelling for the tone of the Death Note franchise. I’m sure Watari honestly believes he’s doing a good thing and helping L working at his best condition, to some degree, but yeahhh feeding the guy under your care only sweets for years without steering him towards healthier alternatives is bad if we want to do a realistic analysis, especially if you’re the one who raised him/organized the environment in which he grew up.

Actual conclusion, more in-depth: So what does this all mean for his character, if I’m getting angstier: L is driven into his detective work not because of some grand passion or ambition (canon), but because working on cases is the only thing interesting enough for him (also canon) aka the only thing that gives him enough stimuli to not be understimulated and painfully bored, but for that lifestyle of constantly chasing high stimulation he also needs substances that give him a rush. The whole thing is extremely unhealthy and unsustainable and L will crash and burn out eventually at any given moment. Kind of a tragic character, huh. He died on his thoughest case ever, his interest driving him to take risks and get more invested and stressed than ever.

L’s laser focus on objective productivity while ignoring the fact that he has human physical needs just like everyone else, likely from a feeling of superiority and uniqueness not entirely unfounded, makes him blind to his very real issues. Being an irl L isn’t cool, it’s sad and unhealthy, cringy for everyone else around you. You may think you have metaphysics and the meaning of life or lack thereof pegged, but that won’t do you any good while you’re on the floor in a manic episode or burnout. I’ve been there mate, but seriously, gain perspective and grow some self-care, being purely statistic oriented is stupid.

Give this man concerta. And a therapist he’ll condescendingly dismiss and talk over, but therapy nonetheless.

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pointofsingulation · 7 months

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My grandfather just passed and I'm surprised I'm functioning somewhat.

I mean, I've had to be high constantly, but I'm alive. And not high in the "I have to get away from this, I want to feel good" way, high in the "if I don't take a piece of an edible, I will have a mental health crisis and have dissociative amnesia" sort of way.

For whatever reason, weed keeps me stable enough to process things a bit easier. I use CBD for my anxiety when it gets bad enough (rarely) but the dissociation takes THC in tandem with the CBD and then I can be close to "sober me".

I don't even know why I'm writing this, I suppose it's an attempt to trust my decision to take the edibles and self-medicate.

I don't really trust myself these days.

#dissociation #dissociative amnesia #grief #weed #self-medication #trauma #personal

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lavideenrose · 11 months

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An email to my former psychoanalyst

“I just received some bad news and I've been thinking about who I can tell, as if by telling someone I may be able to unburden myself. But the thing I'm carrying is not the words or the knowledge, it's the pain, the emotional anguish, that I can't even bring myself to feel except as a kind of discomfort or pulsion. A spur to action, but not to feeling.

“My Dad almost certainly has cancer, probably pancreatic cancer, and will most likely not have long to live. He has not yet recovered from his second bout of intense, psychotic-depression and may still quietly, privately, nurse a wish to die. Well, he's not Robinson Crusoe there.

“No man is an island (or alone on an island), but this family seems to be a sinking island. Breaking off from the mainland and sliding into the sea, one clod at a time. Before you know it we'll be underwater. Not waving, but drowning. At least tonight I'm not drowning my sorrows. Just drowning in sorrow.”

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gracelovepharmacy · 4 months

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In the realm of self-care and minor health concerns, over-the-counter (OTC) medications stand as readily available allies. Navigating the sea of options on the shelves of a retail pharmacy in Reynoldsburg, Ohio, can be overwhelming, but understanding the basics can help you make informed decisions.

#Medication Safety #Pharmacy Advice #Self-Medication

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fishthegenderwitch-lurking · 9 months

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Today I decided that I was going to sit down (no I didn't I was already sitting but now I'm high), and figure out what I need to get done before I leave the house in the morning or before I start artwork. (On my days off I'm going to be doing something related to art have to have to!)

So I have a list in order of what needs to get done before I leave the house. Interspersed are reminders to drink water, because from the time I get up in the morning, till I'm ready to leave the house I'll have been awake for approximately 2 hours. So I should have at least had a litre of water. I'm not structuring this like from 7:00 to 7:01 go to the bathroom or anything as regimented as that, but seeing a full list of things that I need to get done gives me the structure to focus on.

I have some exp in knowing I can absolutely be a morning person, if that morning is spent on myself. And it's absolutely 100% based on what I need to get done, what is necessary for a day, because my dog needs medication.

Because I know I need to give him eye drops in the morning I have to structure it around making sure that that actually happens because I have to take care of him!

When you write down how often you have to work out, or how long you want to meditate for it doesn't seem that long.

Something in my mind has shifted, to where I can now see it as self care and taking care of myself because I haven't done it very well in a long time. Been thinking about it, and planning every little detail and making decisions over and over (hahaaaa for years why)

Instead of a list of things that I think other people would be impressed if I did everyday. They're going to be impressed by me no matter what because I'm awesome, but I'll be actually getting it done instead of telling them what I'm going to do. That's far more important now, because clearly I'm in my IDGAF stage.

It took awhile. You hold onto stuff a long time sometimes.

Anyway, my first instinct was to share the list with you, but I've done that so much in the past and then had people tell me that it's a great idea and I get all excited cuz they praised me for something but then didn't do it lol. So! I'm going to start that routine here, before we even move, in order to set it for Murf.

I'm feeling really positive about this move.

#chapter 2 #my god the difference in being able to think !#i am convinced #self-medication #it's working #for me personally #it is helping me move towards my future #grateful #nature #weed

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xmybipolarmindx · 1 year

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Why People Tend to 'Self-Medicate' with Drugs & Alcohol

Photo by Mishal Ibrahim on Unsplash Self-medication is when a person takes drugs or alcohol to make themselves feel better about a self-diagnosis or existing diagnoses and have not consulted with a physician before picking up their drug of choice. A study was done with 56 students and out of all those students, it was found that 48.6% of the 56 students self-medicated. That is nearly at 50%,…

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#alcohol #Anxiety #Bipolar #Bipolar Disorder #Chronic Pain #Depression #Drugs #Drugs And Alcohol #Featured #Health And Wellness #Keep Talking Mental Health #Mental Health #Mental Health Awareness #Mental Health Blog #Mental Illness #Physical Health #Self-Medicating #Self-Medication

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cosmickmagick · 1 year

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I must confess: as an ADHD'er, I need weed. It's the only way I focus on what really matters.

#adhd #weed #cannabis #add #canada #personal #self-medicating #self-medication #focus #hyperfocus

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valleyviewresidentialllc · 1 year

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Many individuals turn to substances such as drugs and alcohol as a form of self-medication for their mental health struggles. They may find temporary relief from the symptoms of their mental illness. However, as the effects of the substances wear off, they are compelled to use them again and again, creating a vicious cycle.

#Addiction Issues #ounseling Services #Self-Medication

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shitpostingkats · 4 months

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I'm sorry I'm still not over Riz taking the High Fantasy Equivalent Of Speed except no one remembers he weighs 25 pounds soaking wet so instead of Calming The Hell Down like we all know in our heart of hearts Riz would do if he actually took properly dosed stimulants he just sprints through all 9 phases of hyperfocus and ascends to neurodivergent godhood and starts solving mysteries you've never heard of and then becomes paranoid that someone's gonna take his memories so he goes up to a pirate and asks them to tattoo his red string conspiracy board on his flesh

#also he's sixteen and on spring break in cancun #what. what do you think this pirate thought when a highschooler with pupils wider than god walked up and asked for a chest tat of NIGHT YOR #Riz's coffee chugging is an attempt to self medicate change my mind. you can't.#Riz fucking Gukgak #he sleeps with a sword. he sleeps for four hours a night. he offered to bite a guys eye out and shove it into his best friends skull.#he can't stop breaking into crime scenes.#d20 #dimension 20 #fantasy high #riz gukgak

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ahmed25646 · 1 year

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Dietary supplements contain medicinal plants

Some herbal food supplements have effects similar to drugs without being as well supervised, alarms the Academy of Pharmacy, stressing the dangerousness of those containing aloe juice or rhubarb roots, used for their effect. laxative. “There are plants authorized in food supplements which have never been used in food, but for pharmacological purposes, that is to say in medicines”, lamented…

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saturnsocoolioyep · 5 months

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In the same vein as "I've been taking my medication for long enough that I haven't experienced any symptoms in a while, I must not need to take it anymore! (Spoiler alert: the meds are why you haven't had symptoms)" I present to you a similarly clownish thought process- "I haven't experienced that trigger in a long time, maybe I was just exaggerating how bad it was and it'll be fine to engage with this! (Spoiler alert: take a fucking guess babes)"

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