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#once again if I am around it’s most likely on my multi

bambi-slxt · 2 days

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🤍𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐈𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 ~ 𝐩𝐭. 𝐭𝐰𝐨🤍

𝕔𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕡𝕙𝕖𝕣 𝕤𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕠𝕝𝕠 𝕩 𝕗𝕖𝕞!𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣

previously titled Talk Dirty

word count: 1.5k

genres/tropes: romance, dealer!chris, sturniolo au, slow burn, strangers to friends to lovers

teaser: here

pt. one: here

warnings: drug usage, alcohol consumption, guns mentioned and used (non-sexual context), smut, mature themes and topics

notes from bambi: this is a multi-part series, and updates will be sporadic.

Cassandra's POV:

I smacked my hand over my gaping jaw. Oh my god, I took a patron to the bathroom and practically ripped his shirt off. I’m going to lose my job for sure now.

Christopher reached gently for my arm, shushing the apologies that once again began to flood my lips. “Easy,” He closed my hand between both of his and looked me in my teary eyes. “None of that. Your intentions were pure, I’m certain of it.”

I nodded, ripping my gaze away as the tears slipped down my cheeks. “I really fucked this up. I’m so sorry.” I swiped furiously at my traitorous eyes before noticing the…oh FUCK- “Your shirt!” It was soaked. What the fuck is he supposed to wear now?

Christopher sighed, and then many things happened all at once. He took both of my wrists, gathered them into one hand, pulled my arms above my head, and pressed me up against the cold marble tile in one fluid, lightning-quick motion. “Please remain calm.”

As his nose hovered inches above mine, there’s no way he could have missed my heaving chest, darting eyes, and parted lips. The absurdity of the whole situation struck me like an oncoming semi-truck and I let out a most unlady-like snort. His mouth twitched. It’s contagious.

I couldn’t help it–I broke loose into a laugh. He let go of my arms and joined my witch-like cackling with guffaws of his own. My chest began to ache as I swallowed breath after breath just to giggle them back out, and those soon turned akin to a howl of paradoxical laughter.

Christopher braced himself against the countertop, shaking his head with that smile. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…I’m sorry.”

“No, I am, I really needed to…yeah.”

He pulled himself onto the counter, long legs whispering over the cold floor even as they hung there. “We’ve got to stop meeting like this.” Christopher gestured to the empty bathroom.

“People will talk,” I replied. Pulling his dripping shirt from the sink, I gave it a once over and hung it over one of the stall doors. In the dim blue light, it looked almost stainless.

“You’re funny, Miss Cassie.”

“Thank you…Mr. Christopher.” I flashed my eyes to him to see his reaction. A small smile. Not bad.

“What were you guys celebrating? With the champagne?”

Christopher leaned against the mirrored wall above the sinks and counter.

Christopher's POV:

I paused and wondered how much information I wanted to reveal to her. “A good week at work,” I settled on, hoping that would satisfy her. It seemed to. Cassandra nodded and hiked a leg up onto the counter, bending at the knee, twisting at the hip, and somehow contorting herself into–“That can’t be comfortable?”

She snickered. “It is. You can’t do this?”

“To be honest, I’m not entirely sure what it is I’m looking at.”

“It’s just, like…tucking one leg up under you to sit on, except I’m not sitting on it.”

“Somehow that makes less sense.”

Cassandra giggled again and something moved inside my chest. “Maybe you’re just not as…I don’t know, blessed as me.”

Oh I’m plenty blessed, Miss Cassie. I blinked. What the fuck? Calm down. “I’ll have to take your word for it.” I looked around for a moment. “I don’t suppose I meet the dress code anymore, do I?”

She looked at my shirtlessness and smiled sheepishly. “Negatory.”

“Looks like I’m stuck with you here then.”

Cassandra's POV:

I opened my mouth to respond, but at that moment my walkie tinged in my ear. “Cassandra, you have another party in Room 2!”

“Sorry, my–they need me to–shit, um–”

“Cassandra,” Christopher said quietly, interlocking his arms in front of his chest while another smile graced his features. “It’s okay. Go.”

“I’m sorry. Thank you.”

“It was good to meet you,” he said.

I grinned in spite of myself, turning and making my way out of the bathroom. “You too, Christopher.”

Christopher's POV:

I watched her leave in the mirror reflection. That has to be the most wholesome interaction I’ve had with a stranger in years.

My phone vibrated and I tugged it out of my pocket, turning the screen towards me.

Matthew: That guy was just another drunk. What do you want security to do with him?

My brow furrowed into lines as I typed my response and pressed Send. I waited a moment for him to read it, and when he did, I considered the job done. Matthew had always been that way–steady, reliable, loyal to a fault. Nicolas carried the hot streak in the family, and probably the most Italian blood of us all. Though the oldest, Nicolas never felt the confidence in leadership that proved necessary to succeed in the line of work we engaged in. Matthew, on the other hand, lacked the social skills. All of us could be prickly, but they knew who took point in the important things.

I hadn’t lied–we did come out tonight to celebrate. The elimination of competing products and markets is always cause for a party, in my opinion.

The door to the bathroom opened and a woman in a sparkly dress made her way inside. “Oh my,” she said at the sight of me.

“Sorry. Wine spill.” I indicated the button down drying on a stall door.

“I’m so sorry,” she murmured. Her eyes glazed over me, and my pants tightened. “I'm not the one who spilled on you but…” She stepped toward me, her heels clicking in response. “I could make it up to you anyway.”

I glanced at my phone to check the time, and at that moment, her hand traveled up the outside of my thigh.

Matthew can handle himself, I thought, and pulled her body into mine.

Cassandra's POV:

As the days passed, I found myself mulling over the events of my strange first night at the club. Christopher, his brothers and their friends (business associates?), the conversation in the bathroom, the incident where he held me up against the tile–I thought about it all.

A week came and went before I saw Christopher back at the VIP section, though it only took 24 hours for me to hear his name mentioned.

“Do you know what they're gonna do about the door?” my co-worker asked as I waited on the computer to load so I could clock in. “No clue. They said it may have to come out of my check.”

“Um. What?” She scrunched her face. “That’s fucked.”

“I know,” I said with a sigh, tapping my employee number on the screen. “But it is what it is, I guess.”

She shook her head. “Absolutely not. Hold on.”

My eyes widened watching her march to the back office. I'm cooked.

The wink she gave me afterward did little to clear things up. The club lit up with energy shortly after, and in my hurry to carry drinks, I didn't get a chance to ask her how her impromptu meeting with our manager went. Although, as it turned out, I didn't have to–he called me into the office himself.

“Do you remember the name of the man you spoke to before the door shattered?”

“Yes sir,” I said, “Christopher.”

“I see.” He leaned toward his computer screen and seemed to scour the contents displayed on it. “Says here, ‘Please accept our donation of twelve thousand dollars to be used toward the repair of one floor-to-ceiling glass door. Should there be overflow, please tip the remainder to Miss Cassandra, who kept us safe and comfortable. Signed, Christopher Sturniolo at Sturniolo LLC’. Whatever you did,” he said, leaning back in his chair with an air of pride, “Did us a lot of good.”

I smiled warily, unsure what this could mean for me. “Thank you..?”

“I appreciate your work, Cassandra. Keep it up. I’ll have your tip tonight after last call.” He went back to his computer, and I took that as my sign that I was dismissed. Pins and needles throttled through my midsection. How much money did I just get? Is this really happening? All the commotion of the club did little to drown out the torrential downpour of my thoughts, falling like rain–quick and formless upon impact.

After the last round of shots splashed into their weary glasses, I took my weary feet back to the office.

“Cash or check?” my manager asked.

“Ch-check please,” I stammered.

After a moment of scribbling, and a half-second to look it over, he handed the pale yellow slip across his desk into my hand. “I’ve got a copy just in case something goes wrong.”

“Thank you sir,” I breathed, holding the enormous sum in hand. “Thank you so much.”

“Don't thank me,” he waved absently, “Thank your Christopher Sturniolo.”

I hurried out of the office without another word, check clutched close to my chest. I couldn’t look at it for hours–ridiculous, I know. But the looking made it real.

Once I arrived home, I locked my door with fumbling hands, strode to my bedroom and tossed my bag on the mattress. Just deposit the damn thing. It’s not gonna bite you for god's sakes.

With an apprehensive sigh, I opened my wallet where I’d stuffed it earlier and out came the yellow slip, equal parts daunting and why am I afraid of a piece of paper?

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thank you for reading!

- bambi <3

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chrollohearttags · 3 months

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“..smile for me, daddy..”

you take quite the liking to eren’s newest piece of jewelry!

oral sex (p + a eating), spit play, hair pulling, fingering, squirting, need I say more?

I’ve written this trope before but I’m doing it again because why not?! I can’t get it out of my head and I am pushing this agenda. (Also trying to ease back into writing because I’ve been bullshitting.)

* . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•* . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•* . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•* . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•

“What you think, my man? How ya’ like it?”

“..yeah, this is the one, dude..definitely the one..”

stood before the counter at Schiaparelli Jewelers, brandishing a mirror in one hand as the the other casually stroked over his chin, Eren’s lips curled into that of quite the smirk; in turn, refracting off of the light..to say that he was satisfied with the result of his latest commission, would be a very gross understatement. Schiaparelli’s had become a staple in Miami's Design District. A multi-generational business with a reputation that preceded them. With infamy rivaled next to Johnny Dang. Having catered to celebrities and the city’s elite alike, they curated the most beautiful pieces with the utmost care. Thus, earning them millions and a recurring clientele. Among those were the Underground God himself and seasoned musical maestro, EJ the Don. Who had gotten everything from his first chain to the wedding ring he placed on his beloved (y/n)’s finger a year prior. VVS diamonds glistened from the bottom row of his already perfectly aligned teeth as he examined the new grill he had just acquired. A spur of the moment decision he’d made on impulse while you were away on another modeling trip. The custom mold wrapped his entire bottom and encapsulated his canines with red stones. It was absolutely beautiful and although the piece had set him back roughly fifteen thousand, it was well worth it and deserved in his opinion! Having just been nominated for two writing awards and a third for album of the year. Awards season was approaching and although it wasn’t among his priorities to attend, it was still a feat worth celebrating. Not to mention, it was quite the confidence boost as well. He wasn’t one to base his self worth in extravagant jewelry or expensive clothes, but he was certainly feeling quite good about himself in these. He loved the way they looked against his lips and how they complimented his teeth.

dapping up the jeweler, EJ thanked the man once more and proceeded to give him quite the hefty payment for his services..of course, self gratification wasn’t the only reason he had gone and copped this new piece for his collection. He was actually hoping to get a little something more out of the deal..

“That’s what I like to hear, my man! Listen, how do you think the missus will react? Think she’ll like ‘em?”

a question he was certain he’d find out the answer to as you had just shot him a text, saying that you’d made it home and of course..to hurry back to you! Not a moment too soon, in his opinion. He’d spent all week longing to see you again and what better way to greet you than with a surprise like this?

“..I guess we’ll find out soon enough..”

* . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•* . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•

“Mmph…Rennnnn, baeee! Stop—oh my gosh…”

the words spilling out in a trail of whiny huffs being drawn forth from your mouth. Among many other lewd sounds leaving you at the moment. Just as he had expected, your reaction was one he could’ve spotted from a mile away..the second Eren made it back home through the door, (y/n) came rushing him as you leaped forth into his arms. It didn’t take long after spinning you around with an array of kisses for you to spot them..the faint glint from his mouth as you slowly pecked at it. It was when you took his bottom lip between your teeth and tugged gently, did you reveal his little secret. He could tell immediately from the glare on your face, just what you thought of it. That was also apparent by your sudden shift in demeanor..going from subtle, flirtatious kissing to full blown, unadulterated lust. He had no interest in setting you to your feet or halting your advances, especially when you continued to swirl your tongue around his own and continue filling his head with compliments. From how sexy he looked with them and how badly you desired to wet them up! “Yeah? I’m glad you like them, baby.” That was to say the least. He wasn’t shocked in the slightest and once he heard your opinions, he no longer felt any reservations about his purchase! So fast forward, and the two of you moved your little party to the downstairs game room, where he’d often reside on his days off. You’d find yourself on the leather couch in the corner, legs spread to either side as he feasted at your center. Nearly seven days had passed since you’d seen one another in person and nearly ten since you’d had any physical touch so it was obvious what was on either of your minds. Inked up fingers laced around your throat in an effort to make certain your eyes never shifted from his. Meanwhile, you couldn’t help but to glare down at him with tears and lust teeming at your waterline. A finger slid between your lips as your husband delicately flicked that tongue around your clit..and each time, he’d make certain to flash you a toothy grin. In which you’d catch those sparkling diamonds littering his mouth.

“You sure you want me to stop, baby? I mean..you were the one begging me to make you come in my mouth.” Prompting both of you to burst into laughter. He knew that it was only because you were so close to your peak. Apparent by the creamy secretions leaking down his chin and staining that silver. How he craved your essence, your flavor and the feeling of you dripping onto his tongue. How good it felt to hear your moans coagulating with the sounds of his loud slurping, erupting throughout the room. Those white toes resting atop his bare shoulder blades, curled up at the slightest brush of your little bud. “I-I..fuck, it just feels so good, baby. Please..keep going.” (Y/N) uttering with the heave of your chest, rising and falling at a rapid rate as you tried to control your breathing.

“That’s what I thought..now lay your pretty ass back and lemme take care of you..lemme eat this pussy. Missed you so bad..”

with that, he’d continue his ascent into your soaking cunt. Exploring every fold, crevice and every delectable part of his beautiful wife. It may have been his favorite pastime if he were being completely honest…eating you until he brought you to the brink of tears and ecstasy. There was something so satisfying about it. Especially with the euphoric feeling of those juices making contact with his mouthpiece. Your fingertips would run underneath his chin and stroke the side of his face as his own dug into the thick flesh of your thighs..kneading slowly and keeping you in place. “Fuck…you look so sexy. Shit..” tossing your head back and releasing another breathy giggle from the overstimulating pleasure. “..swear you gon’ make me come, daddy..right there.” Guiding him along with your hand and those loud whimpers. That sundress that wrapped your body was shuffled down to your tummy as it bunched up underneath your breasts. You’d alternate between them and those dark tresses of his, not entirely sure what to do with yourself as you were unraveling.

“Don’t tease me now, princess. I need all of that..please..”

only taking a breath momentarily to work a couple digits inside of that hole as it spasmed on the air. He knew you needed to be filled but for now, he wanted to continue his feast..in more ways than one. As he parted your legs even further and continued working those digits in and out, Eren tugged you towards him. The only time he’d become forceful, as to keep you restrained. Because whilst you were focusing on the gentle thrust of his fingers in your pussy, his tongue would snake south to your puckering hole. Where the tip prodded at it and he’d flick around until you were trembling. Pleasure only increased tenfold when you pinched at those sensitive nipples. You could barely contain yourself and it was only a matter of time before he’d be getting that sweet release. He’d squeeze at your plump asscheeks as he switched between your entrances. Lobbing each hole with a very generous amount of spit. Soft whimpers arose from your throat and even hitched but that wasn’t enough for him. He needed that body to fall apart within his grasp and to react only the way he could make it happen.

“Come on, gorgeous. Let me have it. You wanna come, don’t you?”

that toothy smirk appeared yet again along with a high pitched coo. It never fails to make you melt..with the nod of your head, you’d shake vehemently, just grasping at anything to feign off the swelling in the pit of your stomach. One that was only mere seconds from exploding.

“Aw, then let it out. Do what you said you would earlier..or you gon’ hold back on me?” Teasing as he continued to push up into your most sensitive spot. And it didn’t take long until you were exploding all over the couch and of course, those silver slugs lining your man’s mouth. “Fuck! Fuck!—“ “..thereeee we go!” (Y/N) released a shroud of juices that spilled onto the cushions and Eren let his tongue wag as he lapped up every single drop..those fingers sopping with your creaminess. Which he’d let you slurp off once you were able to compose yourself.

“Shit!..Kiss me..” whining as you tugged him up by his chain and into your grasp. Shoving that tongue back between his lips and tasting the remnants of yourself against those grills. Cupping his face between your palms, you’d pull away from each other to meet gazes once more. That’s when he’d smile for you once again and you’d swoon for him all over again.

“Yeah, I’m gonna need you to wear those more..like all the time.”

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dnfao3tags · 10 months

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Finding Deleted Fics: A Multi-Method Guide

i feel like we are the fandom who needs this post the most any fandom has needed it ever.

all of these methods require you to know the title, author and/or link of the fic.

[disclaimer: the fic i am using as an example is not deleted, i just can't think of any other fics to use as an example right now.]

Method #1: Wayback Machine

this is my go to method that i always try first.

steps:

every fic on ao3 has a url of archiveofourown.org/[specific-numbers]. you're gonna need that url, doesn't matter if it doesn't work anymore.

eg.

2. now you're gonna go to archive.org and enter your url in the search bar.

3. something like this will come up. it probably won't be saved as many times though, just once or twice.

just click any of the links now, either the dates marked blue on the calendar or the earliest/latest date. that's it.

drawbacks:

often, a problem arises when searching for fics rated mature or explicit.

the site will have archived this page but not the actual fic. though, maybe lady luck is on your side and clicking proceed will lead you to a saved version of the actual fic. but usually not. and not all fics are saved here. in those cases, i have some more methods.

Method #2: Search Engine Cache

search engines like google and yandex often save a cached version of sites, though yandex is much more reliable than google. i'll give you a tutorial for both.

steps (yandex):

the link isn't completely necessary, just the title and author of the fic will suffice.

go to yandex.com and search for your fic by either entering the url or entering the title and author as such.

3. this will probably immediately come up.

just enter the captcha and it should let you in on the first go but there's a glitch i've encountered where you could be entering the captcha completely correct but for some reason the site still won't let you in. for that, you just have to keep trying again and again until eventually the site lets you in. might take more than 10 tries.

4. once you're in, search results will pop up. directly clicking them will only lead you to the not found page. what you're gonna do is hover over the box of the search result and you'll see 3 dots pop up on the right.

click those and a dropdown menu will appear. click the first option 'saved copy'.

and thats it! this is a much more efficient method especially for explicit or mature fics.

drawbacks:

for some reason, when i open yandex in google chrome, i can't see the 3 dots. i can in firefox though. don't really know what thats all about.

i'll show you how to do it with google too just in case yandex doesn't work.

steps (google):

in the url bar, type cache:[link of fic]. that's pretty much it. google doesn't have a lot of fics saved though so you'll probably get a 404 page.

Method #3: Reddit

there's a subreddit called r/DeletedFanfiction that can probably help you out. either search for the fic as it may have already been posted or req it and someone will probably get you a google drive link soon enough. u/throwthisaway11112 is my lord and savior.

afaik it's still up and running fine despite the reddit protest thing (which i recommend taking a minute to look into).

Method #4: Archive.org Database

okay, now you're gonna need a lot of memory on computer for this one. i'm not gonna even bother and try to explain it, i'll just link you to the original post. thank you once again to the anon who sent me this method!

Method #5: Fandom

if absolutely none of those methods work, you can still just send me an ask and maybe my followers or i will have a saved copy. same for any other fandom, i recommend asking around in popular fandom spaces, someone is bound to have it.

#deleted fics #kay talks #save #ao3 #internet archive #excuse my poor graphic designing #i wanted to add my photo thing #but this isnt a #fic rec #so i just slapped ao3 hacks on #decent imo #hope this helps someone out #ao3 hacks #how to ao3

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ridreamir · 4 months

Note

How about some head cannons for blue berry academy students befriending a new student reader who turns out to be a faller? The reader is from our world and does have at least some memory loss.

And so I might have turned it into a fic and not a list of HCs... lemme know if you want me to rewrite it lol -- it was getting kinda long so this might just be a part one of two if people actually like it. If not I'll just move onto other things :p

With the multi-billion dollar project underway to extend Blueberry Academy's underwater campus, there's been an influx of new students lining up to attend the recently founded institution!

As for you who may or may not have crash-landed in Unova not long ago -you with no credentials- there's no way you could have applied to join the wave of incoming students... had it not been for a string of improbable events that tied you up in some top secret plot.

An unpredicted meteor ripped through the planet's atmosphere in the late hours of night. A burst of unusual green-blue energy had not only been visible to the naked eye, but it set off all the satellite radars in the region. And what stumbled out of the impact zone was the most unlikely part of the story.

... Where... were you? Did you... fall asleep again? Opening your eyes, the cold midnight wilderness flashed alight with an eerie aurora floating close to the ground. The dust was settling, but instead of dispersing into the dirt, it'd been floating up back toward the clear starflecked sky. The surrounding field stood littered with broken shards of... something. They'd been decaying into twinkling flakes light enough to float off the ground — and being that it was pitch black, the only light you had to see was quickly dispersing from the stripped soil and clumps of torn up grass. Once they'd burnt the last of their light, it had left you nothing but one last gentle light source. Registering the mysterious shimmering crystal not far from your face, you sat up, with no proper sense of how you'd got there or what it had been doing on top of you. You must've walked for miles with it in your arms before passing out from exhaustion.

...

You're really asleep again. You tried to cry out, open your eyes. Nothing happened. You tried to feel your fingertips, your breath in and out of your nose. Where is your body? Nothing... happened. The shell forming around you kept out the melded together white silhouettes, but it also kept you in. But a woman burst through the doors, and you couldn't make out here face as she yelled at them to stop. No, all you could make out was the familiar pattern of her earrings. "Can't you see that you can't drill through this?!" She pushed them out of the way, standing between you and their stainless steel tools. "You'll do nothing but hurt the both of them!"

. There's some illegible message displayed on the device you hold in your hands. You look down at it, not remembering what you were doing before.

You can't make out any of the details anymore, but you're unable to look away as you hear the sound effect from pressing the A-button. The symbols warp into familiar letters. You suddenly feel a slightly overshadowing presence behind you. At last, comprehensible text materializes.

"And so you have returned with some pretense of self awareness. Not as you were before, however."

You press the A-button again. "More a shell of what you once were... Something I lament to say likely cannot be reversed." A-button. "Nay, you are not the you that I once knew." You... press it again. "..." It does not speak, so you press it again.

And again.

"I am at a loss as to whether I should mourn a past that has faded into obscurity or feel at peace knowing that you are as ever-changing as the world you left in my charge." You press the button one more time, but the voice seems to hesitate for a moment, thinking of what next to say.

". . . "

"Regardless, I have been awaiting your return for a very long time."

Better to get up and put on your tacky school uniform now than fall back asleep and wait to be dragged out from your boring old dorm room by the scruff.

Being taken as a test subject in the most remote middle-of-the-ocean facility felt more like being held prisoner than enrolling in school. Your homeroom teacher, Ms. Briar, had served as a reminder that the muddy flashes of memories you had of being encased in a living crystal were, in fact, real. She seems to know a lot about the creature you woke up holding, but next to nothing about you. While still mildly annoyed by her poking and prodding, you've warily come to accept that her endless curiosity is not out of cruelty. She is... respectful toward you. Not of your boundaries, but she's fascinated with you in a mild manner that does not immediately endanger your safety. Speaking of, as you sat down and slung your bag over the desk chair, Terapagos came tumbling out, clinking clumsily against the floor. "Aaa-" It cried, stuck on its back. Or, well, not it. He. You quickly scooped him up and set him back on his legs. He's looking up at you, nudging your shoe with his head. His unusually large eyes sparkle as he stares with unmatched innocence, waiting for you to bend over and pick him up. Which you do, knowing the pink haired girl that sits a few rows behind you is vibrating in her seat. "Cute... so cute..." She's mumbling under her breath. Ever since you 'enrolled' she'd done nothing but stare at your companion, which he seemed to find uncomfortable if the pulling at your shoelace wasn't enough to convey that fact. "Alright, little guy, alright. I'm on it." You huff, gently plucking him off the ground with two hands. He cries out in joy and she suddenly clutches her heart, falling backward out of her seat.

...

Nobody here talks to you. Not because they haven't tried, but because every attempt has been met with you either pretending you hadn't heard them or getting up and walking out the classroom. All Briar had to do was take the attendance. They couldn't necessarily threaten you into forced bonding with others. No, your real confinement was having to go into the terrarium and complete menial tasks for the equivalent of money just so you could buy food and school supplies. You didn't even want to be here, you just didn't have anywhere better to go. Apparently they just wanted to protect you for the time being, but there's no way in hell you'd believe that's why they sent you into glorified solitary confinement in the middle of the ocean. Everyone else had permission to come and go whensoever they pleased.

No, your only equals here were your few Pokemon friends. The researchers might've claimed to be keeping your friends in the terrarium for the sake of their health and the preservation of the outside world it mimicked, but you'd never believe in their so called pure intentions. No, this was a pretty little garden for outsiders looking in, and a cage too small for ornate living decorations like you.

Terapagos had been your only one constant since day one, and he was wary of most other people. You trusted his judgement the most. Most other people. The lunch ladies were apparently the saints of the Pokemon world. The food staff are genuinely kind, and Terapagos is a fiend for all types of Pokemon confections you're quickly learning. They've told you that most Pokemon have a taste preference, but not your special little pal, though the poor thing had such a tiny stomach that does not match his monstrous appetite at all.

There's one other person Terapagos had once been intent on pestering in at the cafeteria, but was quickly distracted by another helping of berries and whipped cream.

Compliments to the hardworking Alcremie in the kitchen, they were the only ones who could truly keep his menace at bay... You were endlessly thankful for the distraction, anyway. You wouldn't have known what to do if he'd marched right on up to the four of them chatting amongst themselves over lunch. Red haired dude. Pink haired girl. Scary four eyes. Annoying dragon jerk. Everyone knew who they were. Those were the most problematic trainers in all the Academy.

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feeder86 · 1 year

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The Feeders’ Foreplay

“You’re late,” stated the most attractive man Levi had ever seen as he opened the door to the uptown, grotesquely lavish apartment.

It took Levi a couple of seconds to swallow the wave of arousal upon seeing his hook-up in real life. Viewing the pictures on the app was one thing, but in person, Jac had a whole new level of sex appeal; maybe more than any other man alive.

“I’m so sorry,” Levi stuttered, already sensing that the role play had started, judging by the harsh and stern way Jac was looking at him. “There were roadworks on 45th Street; burst water pipes, or something. The bus had to go around.” He stepped inside; his hardness already very substantial just by simply standing next to Jac.

“It makes no difference to me,” Jac finally relented. “It won’t affect my schedule. Although, it does mean that you just missed one of my transformations; a rather disgusting, skinny postal worker, now a deliciously oversized, blubbery monster!” he smiled with pride.

Levi sucked in hard, trying to control his arousal. He didn’t know that the role play would start this quickly, but he was glad that it had. Jac had been such a smooth talker since they had begun messaging a couple of days ago; not dropping out of character once. He claimed to have mercilessly fattened thousands of guys to outrageous sizes and spoke with such detail about the changes that he found so incredibly satisfying to observe.

Until about six months ago, Levi had always considered himself to be a feeder. He’d dated and fed quite a few fat guys in his time, although he didn’t ever have quite the imagination for role play; nor the natural affinity for domination like Jac did. He’d gained a little weight over the holidays last year; the fresh fat sitting over his six pack and arousing him more than he ever thought it would. He’d started to chat to other feeders; allowed himself to be encouraged by them, in much the same way as he had done in the past. Now he was thirty pounds heavier than he had ever been in his life, with a little round belly on him that gave him more kinky satisfation than he could ever have imagined. He lifted off his shirt, and allowed Jac to see the small little belly that he had developed, tapping it at the side to show him that it was genuinely quite soft. “Fatten me into one of your piggy boys!” he growled with lust.

Levi had only been fed by one other feeder before. It had been a new experience, having been stuffed to the brim with food until his stomach was rather painful. He remembered feeling incredibly uncomfortable on the bus ride home, despite the fact that climaxing at that level of fullness had been the most erotic thing he had ever experienced. Now he was definitely ready to do it again, feeling a desperate desire to impress the beautiful guy he had just met for the first time. He followed Jac through the apartment, gasping as he saw the amazing view through the windows, hardly able to comprehend his luck that he was even standing in one of these multi-million dollar penthouses. Was he really being led to the bedroom already?

Jac stood at the door, barring Levi’s entrance. “Take your pants off before you come in here,” he ordered; his tone suggesting that there was no room for compromise, nor that Jac would be dropping his dominant demeanor anytime soon.

“Yes, sir!” Levi grinned, eager to submit as he kicked off his shoes and removed his pants, along with his underwear. He’d always been proud of the size of his penis. It was something all guys commented on, and he stood there, decidedly erect, waiting for Jac to comment.

Jac merely glanced down and gave the briefest of scoffs. “I’ve got other boys in here,” Jac grinned. “I’m going to fatten them, just like I am you.” With that, he gave Levi’s plush little paunch a poke, spiking his arousal even more.

Levi moaned with pleasure. “I can’t wait to be your fat little piggy!” he declared, just as Jac leaned in for a kiss; their hands sliding all over each other. Then, with a kick of Jac’s foot, the door swung open, revealing the concealed room at last.

It was the smell that hit Levi first; the stale sweat of a gym changing room. Blackout blinds covered the windows, meaning that the large, otherwise empty space was lit only from a single bulb above. In the two furthest corners of the room, two handsome and built men sat on their knees, chained to the wall. One of them even had a ball gag in his mouth, looking up only briefly, before lowering his head once more.

“Run! Get out of here!” the other guy in the corner called out as Levi walked in with Jac. “Have you eaten anything yet? He’s going to fatten you like he did the others!”

Levi’s pulse raised even further. This whole role play was even kinkier than he had expected. He had no idea that there would be others getting involved. All the while, Levi kept on grinning with enthusiasm, despite feeling that the other guy was perhaps taking it a little far with the shouting.

In the very middle of the room, Jac kissed him fiercely in front of the other two men, as if to assert his dominance. “I’ve saved you a spot just over here…” the sexy guy whispered, pointing at a set of chains that were screwed tightly into the corner of the room. He turned to the guy in the corner, still shouting at Levi to leave, zoning in on him, his gaze silencing the noisy man immediately. “Will, Will, Will…” Jac tutted. “Anyone would think you didn’t love me, going on like this!”

The man, who Levi now knew as Will, nodded his head, as if suddenly captivated by the beauty of Jac. “I love you…” he nodded slowly. “I love you so much!”

“I know you do,” Jac agreed, smirking as if he was holding back a laugh. He stepped forward, pulling the good looking guy into his crotch. There, Will moaned with lust, mouth agape, breathing in the scent of his master, looking decidely desperate to suck the dick that was hidden underneath Jac’s clothes.

Following Jac, once Will had been pacified, Levi slipped down onto his knees, copying the two other men in the room; allowing the sexy dominant to quietly cuff him.

“Good boy!” Jac smiled, looking down at Levi, now in his rightful place. “Are you hungry, little piggy?” he asked, rubbing the guy’s head and messing up his hair as another display of his total control over him, pulling his head into his crotch in much the same way as he had Will moments earlier.

“I’m starving!” Levi nodded, adding as much enthusiasm as he could, considering how much the other guys were all going for it.

Just behind the door, sat a small plate with a delicious looking cream cake. Levi licked his lips theatrically as Jac brought it towards him. “I prepared it just for you!” Jac declared, sitting it down on the floor in front of the naked Levi.

“Don’t eat that…” the other guy mumbled, as if not quite able to think clearly, but still trying hard.

“Dig in, Piggy!” Jac ordered, stepping back and allowing Levi to brace himself on all fours, something Levi was just about able to do given the sufficient slack on the chains. From there, he threw his mouth down straight onto it and gorged upon it in a way that he hoped Jac would find kinky and arousing. He licked around his mouth and could just about reach his nose to slide the mess onto his nose and suck it clean. “Good boy!” Jac laughed. “You did the right thing.”

Levi smiled, feeling that he would have done anything for Jac; absolutely anything in the world. He’d never met anyone like him before, and knew that he never would again. But suddenly, Jac was leaving the room, as if he had lost interest in an instant. The door closed and Levi was left feeling a little disorientated, chained as he was to the wall. “Where’s he gone?” he asked the only other person who was able to speak to him.

“He…” the guy tried to reply, sounding hungover, before losing track entirely and falling silent.

Levi waited patiently, still feeling an incredible sense of eroticism for the scenario that he was in. He looked over at the other guys in there with him, admiring their fit, toned bodies. For that, Levi felt a small spike of jealousy. Although he had decided to give into his gaining urges for the past few months, Levi knew he wouldn’t keep at it for long. Before the summer ended, he planned to start a big cut and get back in shape. This belly, as cute as it was, was not going to be a permanent fixture, that was for sure. He wasn’t quite ready to lose himself entirely to these kinks of his.

After fifteen minutes or so, Levi heard voices once more, coming from somewhere in the apartment. “Here comes another one,” the guy in the corner mumbled, apparently waking up a little more than before. “Every hour a new one of us arrives!”

Even the other man in the corner looked up as the door opened and Jac walked in with a new person by his side. Levi recognised him right away as Harry, a guy he’d spoken to many times online. Undressed and naked, he followed Jac into the room, much like Levi only half an hour earlier; his erection just as solid as Levi’s was now upon seeing Jac once more. Although slightly shorter in real life than Levi had pictured him, Harry was a beautifully toned and handsome guy, with a wicked way with words when he’d encouraged Levi to overeat whilst they had been online together in the past. But why would Harry be interested in coming to a feeder’s place? Was he here to feed Levi as well? Or, would Jac feed them both together? Fuck! That would be a super hot scenario to be in!

“You need to go now!” a groggy, chained-up Will called out as Harry kissed Jac with passion in the middle of the room. “Run!”

“Hey, Harry!” Levi chimed in. “What’re you doing here?” he asked, despite not really being heard over the noise of his overzealous companion in the room. He sighed; finding the guy’s performance a little overdone. “Don’t worry about him,” he called to Harry. “I think he might be an actor or something. I’m not sure about the other guy,” he nodded across the room to the man in the ball gag.

“These are my piggies,” Jac announced before Harry could reply or even acknowledge Levi at all. “Are you ready to join them?”

“Hell yeah!” Harry nodded with lust, slipping down onto his knees and allowing the chains to be placed around his wrists. Levi felt a pang of excitement too. Now that the room was filled, maybe they would finally start getting going with this super kinky role play!

“You’re just in time for the show,” Jac grinned with excitement. “But, first things first…” he smirked, disappearing for only a second and returning with another cream cake, identical to the one Levi had eaten. “Are you ready to impress me?”

“Don’t eat it!” cried the man in the corner again, making Levi roll his eyes. The guy probably thought he was adding a sense of mystery and intrigue to this role play, however, he seemed to shout with such conviction that it actually became a bit of a buzz-kill.

“Eat it up, Harry!” Levi shouted across. “I’ve had mine. It was delicious!”

Harry did exactly as he was instructed, overcome with arousal for Jac and this scenario in much the same way that Levi was. Their keeper, Jac, laughing with delight as he saw the piggish way Harry guzzled it down with such enthusiasm.

As soon as Harry was done, Jac turned his back on him, looking instead at the man with the ball gag, in the corner next to Harry. Dripping in sweat, the man seemed reluctant to look Jac in the eyes, positively squirming as he became Jac’s focus. “I said 6.15, didn’t I, Piggy?” Jac smirked, holding up his wrist to look at his expensive watch as it ticked down the time. “And that is in fifty seconds from now!”

With that, Jac reached down, removed the ball gag and managed to unclip the cuffs on the man’s wrists with surprising speed. “Please… please don’t…” the muscular captive mumbled even after they’d kissed with surprising sweetness.

Jac seemed to revel in his whimpering. “No, Piggy. It’s too late…” he laughed.

“I don’t think I want to be a…”

“Awh! That’s just too bad, Piggy!” Jac teased him, with an obvious hard-on pressing against the crotch of his pants. “Just ten more seconds!”

Their lips met once more, but with a final surge of energy, the man seemed to tear himself away and quickly made for the door.

Jac simply stood with an even bigger grin on his face as he watched his captive flee. “Run!” cried Will. “Find the front door!”

“3…2…1…” counted an elated Jac, holding up his watch again as he kept a beady eye on the naked man staggering his way down the long corridor; the sounds of door handles being tried were all everyone, apart from Jac, could now detect from the escapee.

Suddenly, a loud moan was heard from the corridor, followed by the most tremendous burp that roared up with a fury. Jac laughed with sheer joy. His cruel eyes seemed to dance with fire and his smile was brighter than anything Levi had ever seen before. Then he left, following the fleeing man and closing the door behind them both.

Now, the shouting man in the corner lowered his head in defeat. “It’s too late,” he simply mumbled.

“Is he coming back?” new-boy, Harry, asked Levi, surprised that they had all been left alone in the room.

“Yeah, he’ll be back,” Levi nodded, keen to show his expertise. “This whole thing is kinky as fuck!” he growled, feeling even more aroused now that Harry was here as well.

“You boys have no idea…” the other man sighed, shaking his head in disapproval, but thankfully remaining silent thereafter.

The time passed with relative speed after that; now that Levi had someone to chat to in the room. It seemed that Harry was just as aroused as Levi was and they spent their time speculating over the many possible erotic scenarios that might unfold next; both of them very much convinced that the performance of the previously ball-gagged man in the corner had all been that of an actor. The other guy in the corner simply shook his head silently, only confirming in Levi and Harry’s mind that he was part of this storyline as well.

“Fucking hell! Another one!” Levi mumbled in surprise as he heard a new voice from outside of the room. Harry raised his eyebrows as well. It was true; someone else had indeed arrived at the apartment.

Levi looked over at their other companion, Will, trying to gauge whether he too was expecting yet another guy to be joining them that evening. However, as Levi turned his head, his nose picked up the stench of sweat. Will’s face and, indeed, his entire body was positively glistening.

“Jeez, dude! You stink!” Levi grumbled, having decided that he didn’t care how impolite he sounded. Will had been far too into his role and had spoiled some of the eroticism when both he and Harry had arrived.

In walked Jac once more; this time with a young, handsome guy that Levi thought he recognised from somewhere, although he wasn’t all that sure. Their dominant host introduced them all as the ‘piggies’ once again; Levi and Harry nodding with lustful pleasure to go along with it all. When Jac told the new boy to get down on the floor to be cuffed in the now vacant corner, both Harry and Levi cheered him on; as they did when his cream cake was served and the horned-up guy had to eat it all whilst on all-fours in his corner. This time, the previously vocal man in the corner was completely silent; perhaps reflecting on the fact that his earlier performances had been a little over the top.

After the initiation was done, Jac turned his attention back to the only man who had been there longer than Levi. “Oh dear, little piggy!” he laughed, seeming to notice just how sweaty the guy had become. “It looks like it’s almost your turn… How exciting!”

Jac leaned down and unlocked the man’s chains. Despite the guy’s resistance and overzealous approach to the role play earlier, he seemed to have changed character completely. He was now playing someone a lot more submissive, resigned to the inevitable as Jac lavished him with attention at last. The pair kissed and touched each other as if so desperately in love. But then Jac pulled back and laughed. He tugged at the guy’s arm, pulling him to the middle of the room, directly under the single hanging bulb.

“Are you ready to show these piggies what they’re in for?” Jac asked. “None of them have seen it yet. You’re the only one!”

The man was silent and he closed his eyes tight shut as he saw Jac raise his wrist to count the seconds ticking down on his watch. Levi didn’t know why he was so aroused. It was probably the done thing that they were all to run out of the room at this point, wherein the next part of this sexually charged scenario would continue. But the man didn’t seem as though he intended to move. Instead, all his muscles were tensed, as if he was bracing himself for a massive impact. His eyes were closed tight, as if he never expected to open them again.

“5…4…”

Levi and the other boys joined in, smiling with arousal as the sexy Jac toyed with them all.

“3…2…1…”

As all four of them called out ‘Zero,’ the man in the middle of the room suddenly doubled over slightly, growling as though a great wave of pain had just attacked his stomach. He lifted his head once more, then gave the loudest, most intense burp, as if there was to be no air left in his body at all.

Jac’s eyes danced with burning light as Will’s body started moving in the most unnatural manner; his hips rocking back and forth, slowly at first, then faster and faster. The coordination and choreography involved was really quite impressive, Levi thought. But then things started to get stranger and Levi stopped smiling with glee as something else began happening. Will’s stomach seemed to be bloating. He’d thought the guy had been pushing it out to start with, but now it seemed far too extreme to be explained away just like that. Now when his hips shook, there was a definite flutter of jiggle in what appeared to be love-handles actually forming on his sides. Jac seemed to have noticed as well, for inbetween his howls of delight, he began poking and prodding Will in the areas that were causing Levi to look up with such alarm. He wanted to look across at Harry and ask if he knew what this was, but the horror of it all kept his eyes glued in place. Will was literally changing before their eyes. There was no way that this could be anything but real.

The swell of Will’s stomach, inflating more and more, began to resemble a very real paunch in almost no time at all. Even his groin was filling with mass. With his side-on view, Levi could also so the width of Will also increasing. His thighs and butt were increasing in size, however it was obvious that there was absolutely nothing but pure fat being deposited all over his body. Pretty soon, his swollen tummy had an actual shelf below his chest; something else that appeared to be softening with extreme speed. As his body rocked, his nipples began to jiggle more and more, showing that Will no longer had the extreme athleticism that he once had. With his eyes still shut tight, Will looked like he was trying desperately to igore or fight back anything that was being done to him. His face was swelling with fat, stealing his jawline entirely and seeming to build itself, wrapping around his neck like a scarf and creating the beginnings of a small bump at the very back of his head.

Jac, hysterical with joy, continued poking and prodding the fattening man. He could now fill his entire hand with the blubber around Will’s waist and so he grabbed at it keenly, shaking and wobbling the fat as if to remind Will that this was actually happening to him. But Jac also took time to glance over at the three other guys, laughing as he saw the fear and surprise in their eyes.

Things suddenly became a lot more serious. The fat that had acumulated on Will’s stomach was now expanding further, reshaping itself with folds in the skin. Jac raised the guy’s arms in the air so that he could witness this phase better; the fat encircling his waist, making it look like a ball was being pumped from within. The fat from his chest had started gathering under his arms and his nipples seemed to slide out of place as they jiggled and bounced.

When Jac dropped the guy’s arms and slapped Will’s butt, Levi couldn’t get over how much the fat rippled across the glutes and thighs. What’s more, Levi hadn’t even noticed the gradual loss of definition in the guy’s muscular arms until they were now large, doughy and shapeless with fat. His neck was disappearing entirely, with large puffed up cheeks masking the striking man he used to be. As the gut pushed outwards, the fat simulatenously swelled into his back and rear, widening him in all directions. The man’s penis, once a prominent feature, was now almost entirely masked by the blubbery thighs and a strange sack of fat, like a small belly, that had filled Will’s groin, threatening to bury his penis entirely. Then, all of a sudden, the man’s swollen belly began to sag and the genitals disappeared entirely out of Levi’s view.

Every part of Will’s body now wobbled and bounced. Levi had no idea how massive the man had become, knowing only that he was larger than any of the guys he had ever checked out on the gaining websites and socials he visited. At some point, the great fattening spectacle ended and Will fell into the unnaturally strong arms of Jac, having clearly fainted. “You’re next, piglets!” he laughed, looking around at the three chained guys in the room, whilst holding the well over five hundred pound man up like an enormous teddy bear. Then, with complete ease, he dragged Will out of the room and shut the door.

“What the fuck!” shouted the new guy from the corner once they were alone. “Was that real?”

“I think so,” Levi nodded, somehow sounding calm.

“He told me not to eat the food,” Harry mumbled, pointing accusingly at Levi; his mind clearly recounting everything that had happened previously.

Levi felt a pang of guilt, having actively encouraged the other two to do exactly what Jac had wanted.

“He doesn’t care! He’s already fat!” the newest guy suddenly blasted, turning on Levi as well. “He probably wants this!” he growled with anger.

“I’m not fat like that!” Levi stated defensively, looking down at his small tummy. “Why are we even arguing about this?”

“We’ve got to get out of here!” Harry suddenly jumped in, tugging at the strong chains that held him to the wall.

“And what good would that do?” Levi asked. “I think we all know that whatever caused Will to fatten like that… it was the same thing that was in those cakes we ate.”

“Well, I’m not sticking around to find out,” Harry proclaimed with defiance, straining himself as he tried to pull even harder at the chains.

“Harry, come on! Be smart about this! You don’t even have any clothes.”

“So, what, we just accept that we’re toast?” the new guy added, outraged.

“We need to think about how we convince the next guy to run for it so that he doesn’t fall into this trap as well,” Levi reasoned.

“Coming from the guy who positively encouraged us to eat that cream cake?” Harry blasted angrily.

“I didn’t know that this was all real!” Levi tried to defend himself. “I was a little late. I didn’t see this happen to the other guys in here.”

“There were others?” the new guy asked with horror.

“It seems to go like clockwork. A new guy arrives every eighty minutes or so. It’s like some sort of twisted conveyorbelt,” Levi explained, suddenly remembering that he was next to reach the end of it.

The boys pondered on that idea for some time and they sat in silence, contemplating their fate. It was hard to tell how quickly or slowly time ran in that deserted room. Sometimes they would hear the distant sounds of Jac talking with someone on the phone, flirting with them in much the same way he had captured Levi, along with the other two.

“You sound so kinky…” Jac was heard to flirt. He seemed to be standing directly outside of the room, as if to deliberately tease and goad his chained-up victims. “I want to turn you into my big fat boy… Come over. Let me feed you!” He laughed and moaned down the phone, pretending to find whatever lustful retort his prospective victim came up with the most arousing thing he had heard all year. “My address? Are you really sure? I’m a very kinky guy, you know? I like to lock my boys up and feed them. Then I watch them fatten and grow for me.”

The three boys all looked at each other feeling extremely foolish. There was nothing that Jac had told them that wasn’t true. They’d all been warned; every last one of them.

Levi contemplated the transformation he had just witnessed, trying to convince himself that it had all been some sort of elaborate trick. Things like that simply could not happen in real life; not really. But he’d witnessed it himself; with his own eyes. Inexplicably, it somehow felt harder to recall the details as the minutes crept away; as if the memory of it was slowly being erased from his mind entirely. The time continued to slip by and Levi sat quietly, listening to the other two chatting with relative calmness, despite feeling no desire to join in himself. He felt like a black cloud was hovering over him, getting darker and more angry as the seconds ticked away. In fact, Levi was only pulled out of his own thoughts when he noticed a huge bead of sweat rolling down his nose and splashing onto the floor.

“Are you all right?” Harry asked, suddenly noticing the way Levi was looking at his arms and torso.

“I think this is how it starts,” Levi fretted, lifting his arm and smelling the stench of sweat. He could hardly believe the words as they tumbled out of his mouth. “I think it might be my turn!”

Right on cue, the three boys heard someone new arriving in the apartment. “GET OUT OF HERE!” they began shouting; although none of them seemed to recall exactly why. It was just something they said they would do for a purpose that wasn’t completely clear in their heads. “HE’S GOT US LOCKED UP! CALL THE POLICE!”

As they shouted and wailed, it was clear that the voices were still getting closer and closer to the room. Suddenly, the door opened and in walked a smiling athletic guy, naked and already rubbing his own hardness as he surveyed the chains and other naked guys. “This is so fucking horny!” he grinned with arousal, only seeming to stroke his dick harder as the three of them tried to warm him. He swept in to kiss Jac, looking just as besotted as they all were.

After the kiss, Jac simply stood and listened to them shouting and wailing their warnings. His smile filled his face and Levi suddenly understood that this was actually his real game; where the thrill of his set up really gave him a buzz. He gave all his victims plenty of warning, yet they would all fall into his trap, no matter what. “You see that sweaty piggy in the corner?” he pointed at Levi. “The one with the blubbery, little paunch on him? He’s the next one I’m going to do it to.”

“What’re you going to feed him?” the latest guy asked, still stroking himself with absolute arousal.

Jac took the guy’s hand, stopping him from pleasuring himself and taking his first steps to control at long last. “First things first…” he smiled, pointing into the now vacant corner of the room.

Levi had given up shouting now, but the other two were still trying, watching as the handsome boy slipped onto his knees and allowed the chains to be fixed around his wrists. Then, with eyes filled with love and lust for his captor, the boy slipped onto all fours and inhaled the cream cake that was brought to him.

The two other guys fell suddenly silent, realising, just like Levi, that all their warnings were futile. Jac would always win.

“Come on, little piggy!” Jac smiled at Levi, bending down to unlock his chains.

Despite himself, Levi felt the semi he’d had since Jac came in suddenly stiffen into concrete. There was just something so all-consuming about the man’s presence. Even with everything Levi thought he knew, he still felt… in love.

“Now, you’re going to be a good piggy, aren’t you?” Jac asked him. “We’ve got to show the new boy what’s in store for him,” he stated seriously, positioning the sweaty Levi under the single light bulb, facing the newest captive, as if he was about to put on a show. “Hmm, what do you have to say for yourself?” he teased.

Levi swallowed, deciding that fighting this was not something he could physically do. “I’m a good piggy,” he nodded, looking earnestly up at the man he was most attracted to in the whole world.

Jac’s face spread with surprise and delight at Levi’s submission. “Oh, you are?” he laughed. “You hear that?” he called to the other three. “This one says he’s a good piggy!” He turned to speak softly into Levi’s ear. “Are you going to fatten up beautifully for me? Turn this little belly of yours into something spectacular?”

“Yes,” Levi nodded.

Jac smirked and raised his arm to look at his watch. “Do the countdown with me then, Piggy!” he whispered. “10… 9…8…”

Levi tried to join him, but he was at least half a second behind Jac each time; too overcome with the experience.

“6….5…4…”

Levi looked at the newest guy in front of him; his wide smile and naive understanding of where he actually was.

“3…2…”

Levi couldn’t finish. A deep, primal urge to roll forwards and hold his stomach suddenly overcame him. He moaned from the dull pain that seemed to be emanating from his stomach, then he suddenly stood upright, opening his throat and letting out the most insane burp of his entire life. He started to notice that his hips were shaking backwards and forwards, with Jac crying out in delight; his words incomprehensible to Levi at that moment with all the strange physical sensations that were ripping through his body. He placed his hands on his stomach, feeling it rising like dough beneath his chest. Then Jac smacked his hands away so that he didn’t block anyone else’s view of the transformation that was already beginning to occur.

“Look at him!” Jac was shouting, as Levi felt his butt being slapped and his love handle pinched. “Look at this beautiful fat! It’s fantastic!”

As Levi’s body rocked uncontrollably, he began to feel more and more areas jiggling. He knew his ass had started to swell, for it shook wildy. But then that jiggle started to spill out, into his thighs and even into his back. Since his little gain after the holidays, he’d already experienced a little movement in his chest, but now he felt his nipples shaking like never before, with the feeling of an odd mass beginning to surround his erect penis.

Levi knew that he had altered by quite a considerable amount, for the new victim in the corner now curled up against the wall, starting with shock and horror. Levi tried to look down, feeling a ring of fat squeezing into his neck. He saw his hands, unrecognisable with chubby fingers and mere dimples where his knuckles once were. Then, all of sudden, there it was: a giant mass of stomach that had created its own shelf beneath his doughy chest. Jac had slipped his finger inside the belly button and was using it to shake the incredible, soft lard that had formed such a giant tank on his body.

Standing up and keeping balance was getting harder. Levi readjusted his feet, but he always felt the strong arm of Jac pressing against his back, as if he knew exactly when he was needed to step in. Levi let his head rock back and rest against Jac’s broad chest, surrendering himself entirely to the fattening that was occurring.

“Ata, boy!” Jac cooed, enjoying Levi’s total surrender, allowing the magic of the transformation to tear through him without the slightest resistance.

Levi began to breathe deeply, feeling an incredibly warm and tingling arousal in his penis. He closed his eyes and moaned softly. He could feel his whole body swinging backwards and forwards like a large, increasingl heavy and speherical pendulum. But the feeling of arousal was so pleasant and comforting, there in Jac’s strong grip. He had no concept of how fat he had grown, but in that moment, he had no regrets in the slightest. It was as if Jac had been the person he had been waiting to meet his entire life.

“I think you’re going to be my fattest pig of the day,” Jac whispered, sending Levi into an inexplicably instant and intense orgasm that made him howl and his knees buckle, forcing Jac to hold him up entirely.

Levi felt his eyes grow heavy. The transformation over.

“You’re next!” he heard Jac laugh towards Harry. Then he felt his entire, monstrously obese body being dragged out of the room, with no idea what would come next.

656 notes · View notes

cambion-companion · 1 year

Note

hii could you write about aemond taking his eye patch off for the first time in front of you?

Yes my lovely Anons, I whipped up a lil something for you!

Aemond x reader

You carded your fingers through Aemond’s silvery hair, the light from the fireplace flickering on his relaxed face. You had loved him since the day you saw him, standing in the throne room, upon your first arrival to King’s Landing.

His eye was closed, head comfortably laying in your lap. Your fingers wandered across the planes of his face, lingering on his soft lips. His mouth twitched upward as you traced a pattern there, he hummed softly in contentment. How you longed to kiss him there, the thought of your lips on his lingered often in the back of your mind. Instead, you contented yourself with the rare quiet moments the two of you would relax together after reading long hours in the deserted library.

You turned your attention toward the leather eyepatch you always saw him wearing, frowning slightly as you were tempted to lift it off his face. He must’ve felt your intention because Aemond sat up rather suddenly, putting some space between the two of you on the sofa. His one eye surveyed you for a few moments, inexplicable tension radiating off his shoulders. “I do not wish you to see me without it.” He ran his hand along the strap of his eyepatch, making sure it was secure.

You twisted your fingers together in your lap, guilt washing over you. “I’m sorry Aemond, I didn’t mean to upset you.

“It is I who desires not to upset you, Y/N.” Aemond responded, looking everywhere but at your face. “Without the eyepatch I look like a ‘monster’. Or at least,” he chuckled mirthlessly, “that’s what I’ve overheard some say.”

You caught the flicker of pain that briefly twisted Aemond’s features, but he mastered his emotions in an instant, finally meeting your eyes with his own.

“Aemond, don’t say that.” You leaned forward, reaching toward him. “You could never look monstrous.”

He did not move or look toward you, instead fixing his gaze on the crackling fire. With a swift movement you got down on the floor, scooting until you knelt before him, forcing his focus onto yourself. You read anger in his face, as well as something else…something akin to hope.

Taking his hand in yours, you tried again. “You are the most handsome man I have ever looked upon.” Aemond made a derisive sound, glancing at you dubiously, but you soldiered on. “Your hair is the color of moonlight, your eye lilac bright. You are learned, clever and the best fighter I have seen.” You knew you were laying it on thick, but the stiffness of Aemond’s shoulders seemed to have eased, his fingers loosened around yours. There was still doubt on his face, as his eye flitted between your own, as if deciding something.

“If you truly want to see me as I am, I will not begrudge you.” In a fluid motion, Aemond reached to his face, pulling the eyepatch off his head.

A multi-faceted sapphire lay inside the socket of Aemond’s missing eye, it refracted the orange light from the fireplace on its many surfaces. He misread the awed expression on your face, looking away from you quickly once more. “I was ten years old.” He spoke quickly, as if trying to justify his appearance. “I had just claimed Vhagar as my own. The Strongs…Rhaenyra’s children…and Daemon’s ambushed me on my way back to the castle. They attacked me, all four of them, I fought them off until Lucerys came at me with his knife and…well.” Aemond gestured angrily to his face. “You see plainly how that ended.”

“What did you say to them?” You asked gently, prompting the prince to give you the whole story. “When they confronted you, I mean.”

Aemond breathed a sigh through his nose, his hands balling into fists. “They accused me of stealing Vhagar, the idiots.”

“Aemond.” You chided softly.

“I called them ‘bastards’…and I might’ve mentioned something about feeding them to my dragon, and how their father perished in a fire.” Aemond looked up at the arched ceiling, a small smirk climbing up his face at the memory. “I didn’t anticipate Luke bringing a weapon. You have to trust me when I say I had no intention of actually harming my kin.”

“I do.”

“I claimed the largest dragon in Westeros, and for it I lost an eye. Many at court abhor me, seeing me as something lesser.” Resentment dripped from his low voice, his lips now twisted in a frown.

You reached forward, hooking his chin with a finger, pulling his gaze back to you. “You are perfect just as you are, Aemond.” Leaning up to place a gentle kiss beneath the sapphire eye, you felt his breath catch in his chest.

“Y/N…” He breathed, turning his head so your noses brushed. “I am not a whole man. For this reason I have remained unbetrothed so long, I am not viewed as a desirable match for any nobleman’s daughter.”

“They are all fools and belong in the seven hells.”

This drew a chuckle from him.

“I see you as desirable.” You didn’t know quite where that bold statement came from, as they lingered long in the space between you.

You noticed the proximity of your face to his, feeling his warm breath upon your lips.

“You are truly lost, then, if your words are sincere.” Aemond ran a finger along your jaw, his hooded gaze on your mouth.

You were hardly breathing, your voice just a whisper of anticipation. “If I am lost, I never want to be found.”

Quick as a striking snake, his lips were upon yours, pressing with such desperate intensity you gasped against him, feeling his tongue take full advantage as it twisted around your own.

You moaned, the feeling of his lips and tongue upon yours sending little shockwaves down to your core. His fingers had taken hold at the back of your neck, pulling you further against his body, causing you to curve around him. Your own hands were buried in his thick hair, eliciting small sounds of pleasure from him as you tugged at the silken strands.

Aemond pulled away first, taking in your dazed expression, his blue gemstone eye sparkling in the dim light. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to hold you like this, Y/N. To feel your body close to mine, taste the nectar of your lips, hear the sweet sounds you make.”

Heat pooled in your stomach; your cheeks burned at his intimate admission. Aemond smiled, kissing the tip of your nose with affection. “I didn’t want to risk frightening you, as much as I crave your company.”

“You don’t have to hide anything from me, Aemond.” You turned your face into the hand that cupped your cheek, placing a kiss to his palm. “You could never frighten me.”

He looked away from you, turning back to the flickering flames. “Hmm. I hope you’re right.”

In companionable silence, you curled into his side, leaning your head on his shoulder as he wrapped an arm around you. Sitting comfortably together, the two of you passed most of the night, stirring only when the grey light of morning could be seen out the window accompanied by the song of waking birds.

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izpira-se-zlato · 1 month

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JO Utrecht, 20.03.24

i am woefully behind on my dash but I come bearing a gig report?

I met a lot of people I'd last seen in Groningen 💛

we had dutch fries and I got a vegan kroket (it was very tasty)

also met @autoantonyms!! Got beautiful stickers 😊💛

the queue was inside and there were toilets next to it

Our queueing experience was pretty chill since we ( @zadig-fate , @mogoce-nocoj, and @sloveniansexual) wanted balcony so it wasn't quite so bad

we feared we might get kicked out of the balcony spot but didn't (apparently it was the designated disabled spot but not actually marked as such)

really good view of the entire stage, I'll yeet my videos onto YouTube at the end of the month (once I have wifi again)

the ground was sloped, I think, so there were no "bad" spots

Kris in a super neat outfit and with his cowboy boots that give him the cuntiest of walks

Nace felt like the most "underdressed" in his lace-dangle pants, a simple white shirt and a cozy sweater on top, as well as normal sneakers and glasses

he lost the glasses during Tokio (intentionally this time – threw them at Kiki) and the sweater a little later

Bojan with the heart cutout shirt that allegedly had a kiss mark on the center of the cutout? We were too far away to make that out

Jure. Just. Jfc. we had such a good vantage point to see him, and what a sight he was. Eyeliner and chain harness and hnnng. I spent. Most of the gig just looking at him bc jfc he was gorgeous

Jan in the sparklative pants? I think? And the deep cleavage shirt. Also Janbun my beloved

super tame gig all things considered but I barely noticed bc Jure

Bojan sounds so sick. So fucking sick. Full of snot 😅

during Gola, Jan pushed Nace and chased him a bit

they were so very mobile!

Bojan and Kris did not interact at all during the gig until Bojan made Kris speak Dutch to the crowd (and strokes his arm to get his attention. For a moment I was sure Kris would still ignore him)

apparently Kris's mom was in the audience but we didn't see her so this is hearsay

Jan kept skipping around the stage, and so did Bojan. Bojan also did the Käärijä knees-up run

Nace also sprinted across the stage once 😂

aduring Demoni, Jan jumped up on the drums pedestal and played the snare drum (?)

he also played the piano during metulji and Umazane 😂 a true multi-instrumentalist

also during Demoni, Nace almost walked into Jan and Jan "threatened" him with his guitar (they're adorable)

Jan was actually drinking water during the gig

Vita came up to the balcony to shoot from there and was very distracting. Not in a bad way though 😂

another photographer came up to us and was kinda grateful when I made space so he could shoot

Umazane including intro speech was 12:55 long. Jfc Bojan.

Bojan was talking and then the rest just started Umazane. Felt a bit like they were like, it'll be long enough, pls just start

Bojan went into the crowd. Lots of non-slovene versions. Vita followed after him, which made for a funny picture from above bc there was a white spot with safety distance around him, followed by a pink light (from Vita's camera)

Nace joined part of the front row in doing the Macarena dance for a moment

Jan instigated the crab walk across the stage, and when they came back to Primož, Primož grabbed Nace's fretboard (? The thing with the pegs) before Jan came around and got to press a few buttons on the sound mixing desk

Bojan was helped back on stage but they forgot Vita in the crowd. She was still solidly in the crowd when Kiki fucked back off. I think @braveheart1418 yelled for people to make space and so she was able to slip back out, but yeah. Poor Vita

Kris interacted so much with Jan and Nace though it was pretty tame

a very professional gig all things considered

during ne bi smel (?) Jan's guitar cut out at the beginning but it didn't cause major issues, it just made the very beginning sound a little off

Bojan made Kris speak Dutch at the end. No idea what he said

during Novi val, Jure jumped onto Nace and Jan

Bojan gave Nace and Jan tulip bunches and it really felt like they were suddenly acutely aware how "just married" they looked. Queue awkward standing next to each other until Jure jumped into them

while Kris was speaking, Nace had Bojan pulled into his side, so Jan jumped into them and jfc what a picture – Bojan and Nace both dark pants/white shirt, and Jan in all black… Gorgeous

the crowd chanted "oooo" (U, for Utrecht) and Bojan thought they were booing and he was laughing off that fear afterwards, saying it's the worst nightmare for an artist

#joker out #jure macek #jure maček #jan peteh #nace jordan #kris gustin #kris guštin #bojan cvjeticanin #bojan cvjetićanin #nace ja jan #bojan ja Jan #bojan ja kris #gig report #jo utrecht #sys tour

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actualmermaid · 2 years

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Hey Christians

I am once again getting reports that some of you are appropriating Jewish holidays and traditions, and 🌠 you should immediately stop doing that 🌠

Since I'm also a Christian, maybe you'll take this better from me. I usually see this behavior from people who are white, American, and/or Evangelical-adjacent, and I suspect that you're messing around with Jewish stuff because you feel alienated from your own cultural background, whatever that may be. You belong to what is essentially the big-box-store version of Christianity, and you're probably hungry for something that feels more "authentic." That's 100% understandable! But it is not a reason to appropriate traditions that belong to a community that has not shared them with you!

Luckily, there are some pretty easy ways to get acquainted with your own cultural heritage through traditional Christian observances.

Get acquainted with the traditional liturgical calendar. Our observances are structured around the solar year, and historically, these observances were tied to the patterns of agricultural labor. Religious festivals also had seasonal significance: the birth of Jesus coincides with the lengthening of days after the winter solstice, the resurrection of Jesus coincides with the rebirth of plants and animals in the spring, and so forth. The more you learn, the more you realize how much we've lost/forgotten!

If you know where your ancestors came from, you can research how folk-religious festivals are practiced in those parts of the world! What foods are eaten? What games are played? What stories are told? If there's a church associated with "your" cultural community, you might consider visiting them around important festivals and learning what they do. Remember, you are a student, and you should still approach these observances with respect and openness!

Here's a non-exhaustive list of things to try if you're feeling the temptation to appropriate a closed Jewish practice:

Instead of observing Rosh Hashanah because you're feeling left-out by the lack of major Christian holidays at this time of year, start looking forward to the feast day of St. Francis of Assisi (October 4). Here in the US, it's common for churches to hold a special "Blessing of the Animals" service or a "St. Francis the Peacemaker" service, often in cooperation with churches from other denominations! It's a lot of fun!

Instead of trying to host your own Passover seder (I have a horror story about this that I will refrain from sharing out of respect for my Jewish friends), just celebrate Easter like the rest of us! Easter, not Christmas, is the most important day in the Christian liturgical year. There are MANY ways to celebrate Easter in a more "traditional" way than you might be used to.

Celebrating Hanukkah as a Christian makes you look fucking stupid! Don't do it! Instead, if you want a multi-day traditional Christian observance, our things are the seasons of Advent and Christmastide! Again, depending on your cultural background, there are lots of ways to "practice Christianity" around this time. Fasting (similar to fasting during Lent) and lighting the candles on an Advent wreath are easy ways to start.

Don't try to observe Torah, that's not our thing! If you want to practice more "rules," consider trying out one of the many Christian fasting traditions (NOT the "Daniel Fast," which is basically a crash diet attached to some very bullshit theology), praying the Daily Office or using prayer beads, or wearing a head-covering in church. ("But I'm not Catholic," you might say, but if you do some research you'll discover that none of these things are unique to Catholics! You're not Jewish either, but that's not stopping you from messing around with their stuff!)

Before you come at me with excuses about this not being "biblical" or whatever, keep in mind that many Jewish observances are also not "biblical"! If you really want to try out a Jewish holiday, you should make a Jewish friend and let them invite you, but it's pretty hard to make Jewish friends if you're constantly trying to steal their shit! (The last 2000 years of Jewish-Christian relations are hard proof of this!)

#christianity #judaism #religion #culture

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astarionfixation · 1 month

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Chapter 6: "It won’t hurt but a moment, darling"

Part of "Am I Fu**ing Insane !?!" A multi chapter adventure in Astarion’s mind

Rating: Mature for mentions of sex and blood

CW mentions of sexual assault, sex trafficking, panic attacks

Word count count: 6.5k yep, I was away for a week but at least I come bearing gifts words

Pairings: Astarion X OFC Tav

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54356776/chapters/138874459

I have a quite serious praise kink. Which also means compliments in the forms of tags and/or comments might very well spur me to write and post more

** Thoughts "" Dialogue - - Remarks ++ Quotes / Memories

The scene at the inn looks extremely familiar and he's sure some corners of it resemble quite accurately the night before. Except his delusional hopes to find a solution to his current parasite predicament have all but dissolved, yet maybe shape shifted towards an unlikely alliance with her. Small, insignificant human that she is, yet each and every one of his companions seems to have a fascination with her.

And indeed, he catches her eye from across the room, as their accidental mutual friends are buzzing around her, certainly grateful to have their health and strength back without apparent consequences from the night before. And he is sure it's just gratefulness but from the way he sees the wizard getting closer and familiar to her, hand on her shoulder that drops to her hip, certainly with the excuse of the crowd around her, surely he lowers his head and gets his filthy mouth way too close to her ear to make her hear whatever he thinks will impress her.

He finds his teeth gritting and he swears it's just because

*No one gets to tamper with my food!*

In that instant it is almost too convenient that this lovely, smiling barmaid seems intent to care only for whatever he is going to ask, forgetting every other shouting creature that demands her attention for another pint of anything.

“How may I serve you, my lord”

And he has to bite his tongue not to laugh at the epithet, despite how convenient his looks have been in gaining him access to every place -and person- he has ever set his eyes upon.

“Well sweet thing” he begins with his mellifluous tone set to persuade fairies to give up their own light for him. A long, delicate finger reaches for a strand of her straw like hair and wraps around it, inviting her closer so he can whisper to her.

“I would be so, very very grateful if you could get me two glasses of the most precious drink you offer in this fine establishment”

His movements are studied and rehearsed and his brain might as well focus on the corner of his eye, searchin for Her and considering options to send back to Waterdeep different pieces of the mage in different boxes if his excuse for a flirt does not promptly focus on someone, anyone else but Her. He's not jealous, of course not, *of him?!??* And he knows, from her lips, from her mind how all of herself is pulled to him.

*It was my name on her lips last night! My name on her darn little book! Not any wizard from Waterdeep or otherwise!*

He's brought back by the clinking sound of two goblets that are definitely more elegant and rich looking than anything anyone else is holding in the tavern, and he knows once again how far his simple charm can get him. The girl is smiling at him, full of hope, pulling herself closer from behind the bar so that her bosom is almost obscenely exposed in front of him. And he would be lying if he didn't admit to the flattery it always was to see people stumble upon their own feet in an effort to please him, to be chosen by him for the night, blissfully unaware of how that meant their luck had turned on them forever.

A dark flash threatens to take away his attention from the scene and he knows it's much better not to linger on memories. In one of his exaggerated movements he finds the hand of the girl to bring to his lips, his eyes fixed on her cornflower ones. He plants a long, wet kiss that holds so many promises, none of which he will keep, and he lingers a moment longer so she can have her fill of his attention. As he slowly pulls away his index finger goes to tuck a strand of her hair just behind her ear, brushing lightly on her skin and he can tell already: a word and he would have her, she probably wouldn't even make it upstairs. He holds her gaze and her trembling lips just barely audible let him know that

“Not to worry my lord, it's on the house”

*Of course it is, why do you think we were playing this game, darling?*

His hand swiftly abandons her hair to grasp at the glasses, his work done. As he turns around to find in which ways he will have to skin the mage, he realises his lips are way too close to her ear, but her eyes are fixed on… himself. And they are somewhat even darker than usual? The look on her face he would have called imperturbable yesterday reveals something akin to disturbance today.

*Maybe I will actually have to skin the wizard tonight if he's the reason of her bother*

His head moves slightly towards the stairs to give her a sign and immediately he sees her wriggle out of her company and towards the path that leads to the upper floor.

*Still such an obedient little thing*

And he is only too happy to follow.

—-------

“What was that? What did you tell her? Did you give away your secret so easily just hoping she would let you drink from her?!?!”

He's genuinely confused, it takes him a moment to realise she must be referring to the barmaid that he already barely remembers. What did she have the impression was happening? Doesn't she know how he speaks and addresses everyone? How his charm is the one thing he has to keep in control of every exchange?

*Or is she actually Jealous?*

And as he closes the door of her room behind him, the glasses resting now on a surface, he begins to slowly circle -stalk- her just as he just did that afternoon at the glade, his eyes and smile focused completely on her agitated self, the soft traits of her face trying their best to look upset, yet all he can think is just…

*How adorable…*

But this time she's following his movements and turns around to look at him, her back now to the door, and the corner of his lip might be pulling ever so slightly as he considers the possibility of this ruse being just that, that familiarly naughty side of his brain already envisioning her throwing herself at him as they both fall on the bed and

*I might actually let her ride*

“If this is your way of offering yourself instead my dear, I thought we were already clear on the matter. But don't let me stop your plans of persuasion. In fact…”

He takes a step closer and his hand knows already where to find that sweet, pulsating spot just behind her ear, the idea of tearing at the skin and finally finding her sweetness without the need to imagine any longer makes him swallow emptily in anticipation, and his fingers are almost tingling due to the warmth of her skin being so close now and his muscles tense ready to pull her in, fangs almost bared when… she takes a step back?

*What is she playing at? We both know she wants this, she wants me…*

“Come now darling, there's really no need to play coy, at this point it would be only be a waste of time considering what we already shared”

The honey in his words betrays a slight irritation at the distance she put between them, his tone every bit the charming one he has rehearsed thousands of times and has never once failed him.

And thankfully! Thankfully, going through the pages of that little insignificant book allowed him to fill the gaps in ways he truly had no idea.

But now he knows, he has seen it in her eyes, transfixed on him despite the blood, or perhaps exactly because of it.

“But if it pleases your wounded pride you can tell me all about your protestations from your sweetly plump lips while I relieve you of every. single. piece. of clothing. that stands between my mouth and your lovely skin. Because that's what you want, isn't it?”

He knows how to punctuate and accentuate every word to paint an image.

And not that the mere idea isn’t inviting, he feels his own reaction both in his stomach and his crotch. The notion that, for once, he would actually enjoy taking something -He- wanted, -He- needed, for -himself- and not for anyone’s command or amusement, is almost reason enough to make this the version of the story he committed to.

“Don’t tell me that is not exactly what you envisioned whilst you…. How was it?”

And consequences be damned! Let this be a good use of that little vexing book, to cut any avenue she might think of going up to escape her own desire for him.

“ ‘Lay yourself down with my Voice pouring honey in your ears?’ No need to imagine my dear, in fact let me show you…”

*I will not be denied, and I won't let you deny yourself either sweet thing*

This is as good a version as any if it will get him access to her blood, maybe even her body because surely…

“I can't believe the privilege that has been afforded to you to still behave like a child and have people find it charming!”

He is so used to leading the game that this interruption comes too abruptly to leave her unscathed by his anger at seeing his plans crushed.

And if throwing her own words at her didn't make her confess her own desire for him, there is certainly more to use and hurt her from what he can remember of the little insignificant book. Something they share even. His voice comes out as sweet as the choice of words is cruel

“Oh you want to talk about childhood, do you? Do you want to go over how incredibly wise and mature you were “for your age”, darling? How that clever little mind of yours justified every kind of attention you were at the receiving end of because you were just… too enticing”

He inhales to punctuate the next words

“and how flattering that felt for you.”

He went too far. He knows it before he spits out the last word. He can see her jaw clenching and the deep inhale she takes, seemingly vexed whilst really, her heartbeat is telling a different story about the exquisite way his words were just the extension of his dagger at times.

Quick scenarios flash in his mind's eye,

*Is she going to cry? Is she going to storm out? Can she have anything in her arsenal to hit me back with?*

and to that his body stiffens like a spring ready to jump and react, as if any words she next throws at him could physically hit him

*Because isn't it just what I've done to her?*

It was right, it was fair, and he stood up straight with a hint of pride on his face because no stepping down now could mend her from the hurt his words just inflicted on her. He knew exactly what it had touched, he remembered every single *fucking* word he had committed to memory that night he first had his hands on her book. On her mind. He will not admit he even considered the idea they could have bonded over their shared trauma…

“Get out”

*No. No no no! This is all wrong! Where's the attack? Where are the words I can sneak around and throw back at her?! I need to build her up to crush her down! No!*

The fear of losing her anxiety-inducing presence fills his thoughts with venom, and if whatever this was has to come crashing down now, she can be sure she'll get as much damage as the loss of her brings to him.

“Well fine then, I'm sure it won't take me long to find someone kind enough to share their bed and blood with me tonight, in fact you're right, I might just go looking for that lovely barmaid again, she was so eager to please. Believe me darling, I won't be left out in the cold”

Her eyes narrow.

“You're delusional, as if you're the gods gift to every pretty girl who would open her arms and legs to you”

And that's it, that right there is the space between words that he knows will hurt just right, a cold sharp hit from the throat to that spot just above her heart that decides where her lovely colour and warmth will spread next. His crimson eyes narrow and he moves closer to her and when he's just about to move past her and grab the door handle he whispers with his head just slightly bent, so that his breath can hit her skin as much as his words will her heart

“Well… looking at you darling… I thought it was fairly obvious: she doesn't have to be pretty”.

He can feel how her body tensed up. How a strained sound gets trapped in her throat and a sharp inhale through gritted teeth have her swallow. The light of the candles is strangely reflected slightly more intensely by the corner of her eyes and that is how he knows the blow has hit just right and a strange satisfaction takes over in his chest, making him walk just a bit taller, just a bit prouder because all those decades using his body to get what his master demanded turned him into the perfect offering to anyone's desires and the least of his problems will indeed be to find someone, anyone, ready to take him in, if only he's available to give them anything and everything they might want that his body can provide. It doesn't even matter, he won't even have to think, his body has been marked and bent sinuously so many times his mind doesn't have to be there to give anyone anything they might want. Tonight won't be anything more or less special than that and the price for a warm place to sleep *maybe warm blood to drink* is something that comes as second nature to him.

He's out of the door and his feet guide him automatically towards the stairs, his mind trying to focus on the faces of any of the patrons of the inn whose sight might have already lingered a moment too long on him because that's how he knows, how he has always known that his job will be easier, his elegant form already paving the way towards a comfortable place to spend the night in as soon as he gives them what they want, and they all want the same thing anyway. His head shakes as if his mind better not dig further at that thought, and as he takes the first step down he finds his body slouching down instead, coming to sit on the step as his head bends down between his own knees, his long delicate fingers shaking as they pull at the back of his neck so that his head falls just lower and lower.

And among the flashes his mind offers of all the times he had to offer his body as the matter of an exchange for his own survival, a corner of his brain screams at the door now closed behind him and

*how could she let me go out in the cold again??!?*.

His shoulders shrug as he tries to make himself smaller. Maybe spending the night on the stairs is just as acceptable, easier, safer for everyone and safer for him, and how deep his mind must have kept him, attempting to avoid memories of useful seduction techniques coming back to him, to not hear her steps, if not her heartbeat, until the warmth of her hand is once again scorching his neck and he flinches too suddenly for his unaffected facade to remain unbroken.

He tries to turn around, his arms still protecting his face, wrapped around his knees and just his crimson eyes and dark circles peek through, looking at her in a way that might seem unthreatening enough that now her arms have gone circling around his shoulders… and it all suddenly feels warmer and there’s also something… weird, something he can't quite pinpoint, but something that feels like there’s no requirement for each and every one of his senses and instincts to be ready to react.

She breathes loudly, louder than even her need for air requires, and the noise alone should be annoying but after a few breaths he realises his own body is following her rhythm even without the need for it, but the slow, measured breaths are bringing an unexpected calm that washes over his tensed muscles, his jaw unclenches and the grip of his own arms around his knees, so tight he didn't realise it made him tremble, is now getting flushed.

*Because if she has her arms around me I don't need to hold on anymore*

The thought is fleeting and he will deny thinking that, but in the next exhale his body finally relaxes into her warm embrace. She hasn't said anything, done anything but holding him and guiding his breath with her own, and while a slight fear crosses his mind -because if she is to hit him with any word now, he would certainly dissolve- he’s also so tired of the charade by this point he can’t hold onto his persona anymore. It comes as a whisper that a part of him still feels betrayed by sharing, because it is the truth and how will that not be ammunition for her to use at a later time?

But his breath is not his own now, following in unison with hers and so the words escape his pale bloodless lips anyway

“I'm sorry, I couldn't do it, I'm sorry”

She leaves the silence holding space in the air for what feels like an eternity after his shameful confession, but he can suddenly feel her arms pulling him tighter to her. Crouching next to him, his head finds a way to nestle in the crook of her neck where he instinctively inhales deeply and the scent of mulled wine and flowers fills his entire being once again, and besides bringing back a hunger pang down in the depth of his stomach, there is now something almost soothing about what's become so familiar and intrinsically associated with her. He must be so stupid to allow himself to feel what seemingly resembles safety, if nothing else because he never knew what that actually meant, but he's so tired. Tired in a way no rest or trance can bring him peace and so even if her warmth is a lie he's making his peace with it, he'll pay the price in time, but for now he can just slightly rub the tip of his nose on that pulsating spot just behind her ear, her scent emanating from it as a sweet siren song for the beast his fangs belong to, but not without an unexpected and reassuring comfort to some other side of himself, something he hasn't felt stirring in such a long time that he had no reason to believe was still there.

The silence, filled only by their breaths, has become so familiar he might be convinced the stairs could be a welcome spot to spend the night if she keeps holding him like this, but that's when his own train of thought is interrupted by her low whisper

“Come on, come back, I didn't mean it, I'm sorry too”

And at that he shouldn't feel the warmth radiate from every spot their bodies are in contact with each other down to the centre of his stomach, but it does and it's as unfamiliar as it is pleasant. His body follows hers as her arms still circle him and help him to his feet, his head still following her scent, by convenience that also means his eyes don't have to raise from the floor to meet hers and that makes going back to her room easier.

She helps him to sit at the edge of the bed and that's when her arms retract their support and the loss of warmth feels incredibly wrong. With furrowed brows his eyes look for her to understand what he's done wrong to lose her embrace but they find hers as they seem to be just roaming across his shoulders to the leather atop his shirt. His shoulders move almost of their own volition and the leather is quickly discarded on the floor. She suddenly crouches down on the floor and the movement catches him by surprise, not sure what he should brace himself for until he realises her hands are reaching for his boots.

She might have sensed his discomfort because her next movement is announced by her voice before it happens

“I'm just going to help you out of these so you can lay down and rest if you want, is that alright?”

And he finds himself nodding before the end of that sentence makes it to his ears, the finesse with which her fingers are pulling and undoing his old boots is not something that aligns with a thing that has been broken and torn down too many times to repair and yet the careful way her hands find the way to undo them make it seem like she's dealing with something of invaluable worth.

He's slightly transfixed looking at her movements that only when her eyes meet his again, only then he realises she's done, and with a bit of uncertainty she's back up on her feet.

“Rest here, I will be on the chair and we can talk more tomorrow if you want”

But his hand goes immediately to grab her wrist because the idea of losing that safe feeling her warmth gives him now just isn't something he's ready to do without. He pulls wordlessly until she's sitting next to him on the edge of the bed and that's when he scoots back until his back hits the headboard and then his arm extends towards her in a silent invitation.

He can't read her expression but within seconds he doesn't need to because she's removing her own boots and

*surely she didn't mean to crawl across the bed to reach me in any way other than functional*

but another part of his brain seems to stir now at the sight of her on all fours moving slowly *languidly* towards him, until she's taken the invite and nestles her body between his extended arm and chest, her own arm now circling at the back of his neck.

“Is this…? I can't… nothing needs to happen, we can just rest, I am here for you”

And that sounds way too much like a challenge for his body not to stir, pulling her closer so that his nose can finally trace her hairline down to her ear again. Until the memory of her words make him shiver

+He holds a grace in the tiny bone of his wrists that clerics cannot give on freedays+

And it's both consoling and disappointing that the moment he can lose himself in her scent again, feeling her body so close to his, the words she chose to describe him come back to his mind, blessed with the curse of an impossible detailed memory that in this occasion lets him know, beyond what she could say out loud, all the ways in which her body, but most importantly her mind, have been devotedly dreaming of him, in a way that lets him know for the first time in his whole life and undeath, that someone other than himself cares about his existence, not only his survival.

*Maybe just as long as I can grant her immortality too, but still, she needs me now as I need her*

He nods as his head is nestled between her jaw and her shoulder, certainly agreeing but also to spur another whiff of that delicious scent only her skin, hair, sweat and blood could conjure, and that's when another side of him replies in a low, trembling tone coming from his chest

“I promise I won't go too far… but please…”

And with that plea his lips part slightly, his teeth now brushing against that pulsating spot with a rhythm that's been hypnotising him since the beginning of this game. His lips closing upon it in something it would surely resemble a kiss and at that moment, with a wonderful whimper escaping her lips, her head turns just enough so that she can look at him with the corner of her deep, dark eyes, her lips barely parted with a slightly faster breath coming and going through them and now he's almost overwhelmed because it was easier to focus just on that one little spot that meant finally knowing what bliss it could be to feed his deep seated hunger, and yet now the same wonder takes hold when envisioning her lips giving way to his, how easily they would part to give him access, how soft would her body truly be, pliable to his every need and desire, truly begging to be his and sate any and every hunger of his, because he knows, she said it in so many words, all circling in his mind and

+I will skip, stumble and fall, he’s the blinded fool and I’m content to stand by

I’ll be the conspicuously deranged lover of the air he walks past+

And he has a right at that to concede to the delusion that she might actually be infatuated with him for no other reason than his existence. For a moment he will believe whatever she saw in him was before she could realise anything about his immortality. For a moment he decides to believe her words, committed to paper in that little precious book that was never meant for anyone else's eyes, and that she is head over heels for him just because he's a worthy creature, just like every one of his conquest wanted to believe they were special to him, whilst he hardly remembered their name the morning after.

“it's alright, you can feed”

the words bring him back and carry a rush to his head filled with a million visions of her body, soft, supple and compliant, all the ways his hands and lips could roam those curves that gave him vertigo at the mere thought of, every way he could make her moan and coax pleasure out of her until she could feel as desperate for him and he did her now, every image fights for dominance and

*does it really matter where I start as long as I can explore each and every inch of her that’s covered in skin?*

his lips trembling, tracing closer to her and he’s finally about to taste the gates of her breath when her words hit him again

“but we can’t kiss”

His teeth have to clench because he will not lose his mind over this mere mortal toying with his needs! His eyes tighten to mere slits and his fingers are gripping so tightly to her shirt that surely in a moment the tearing sound will be echoing through the room. She has been playing him all along! She’s just doing this to mortify him and she doesn’t understand what she’s done to him! As his hands release the grip on her clothes he finds his nose trailing back to her neck, now tracing her collarbone with his hungry lips and

*If it’s a challenge you want, a challenge you’ll get love*

He nods so that his soft curls are now certainly tickling her jaw and neck, and he can tell from the way the breath has now escaped her lips that his plan is already working. His fingers roam to find the hem of her shirt and disappear beneath that, finding the stark contrast of the warmth of the skin on her sides, slowly tracing with his tips and nails to her bellybutton. Another sharp breath through her lips and she swallows emptily, and he can feel that just under his lips as they are tracing at her neck still.

“Astarion, did you hear me? You can’t…”

“I’ll do you one better darling, I promise I won’t touch any part of your body, for any reason other than feeding”

*two can play at this game*

He feels her swallowing again against his mouth and now he knows he can gently move his entire body to fit against hers. A leg between hers so that she can surely feel the response of his body, but even with half his chest pressed against hers, his fingers keep roaming her sides, down to her hips and disappearing again under the shirt, halting and changing their course just a moment before they are to brush against the soft underside of her breasts.

He can almost trace the curve and he can tell from her heartbeat that, despite her words, he’s not the only one who's hungry for the other

*but you wanted to play and gods I can make this a torturing little game for you too, my sweet*

An audible gasp escapes her lips now that his lips have locked onto a spot for a moment longer, and she might be expecting his fangs now, yet her body does not stiffen in anticipation for the pain, and that is all the more encouragement for him lo leave a soft, long, obscenely sounding kiss just where her neck meets her shoulder. The sudden jolt that travels her entire body confirming what he already knows

*your body is aching for me*

and so his lips keep leaving a soft and wet trail of kisses everywhere on her skin, coming down her shoulder and arms and back to her collarbone, while his fingers trace her sides still, and in a moment, when her back arches to meet his lips, he swiftly goes to pull her shirt down past her shoulder leaving her left side exposed, her breasts almost visible but her nipple still covered by the strained collar of the shirt.

*I need to taste you, I need to have you*

At that sight his body betrays him, as another unnecessary mouthful of nothing gets swallowed and he feels his cock twitch pressed against her hips, heaving at the rhythm of her breath. Part of him knows he needs to get this over and done quickly or he won't be able to keep his promise, but at the same time he loves to coax out that side of her that spent all that time thinking

*dreaming of me*

The part of her that is now, surely kept prisoner by whatever silly, self imposed rule she decided to lock herself behind.

*let’s see how long for*

When his hand reaches up, under her shirt, his nails start to trace the skin just around her breast and a deep moan erupts from her lips carrying his name in a way he never before loved as much

“Astarion!”

The corner of his lips pull just enough, because no matter what she said, he can feel she wants him in more ways than one, and as his nail dig just a hint too much in that delicate area just on the valley between her breasts, she exhales sharply and now he finds her breath to breathe her in, his face so close to hers that nothing is in focus, the tip of his nose grazing hers and he is now making an effort to keep enough distance between their lips yet she is likely unaware of how her mouth is reaching out to his.

*your rules, my love*

His lips trace back to her cheek and down to her ear to whisper as his nails trace her skin from the centre of her chest to that soft area south of her collarbone but still not close enough to her nipple

“Your blood just reaches out to me and blooms every time my nails press and trace just… like… that”

And the way her body arches at his words brings that soft, supple spot just atop of her breast too close to his lips to refuse now. He finds himself surprised at the idea that the first time he’s tasting her is not to give in to the delicious tempting bit behind her ear, but his mouth is now watering beyond anything he has ever experienced, his lips just sucking at that speckle of skin just south of her collarbone, where he can feel the rhythm of her heart so loudly that the distraction is almost enough to ignore that her nipple is inexorably poking through the shirt, just against his chin

“It won’t hurt but a moment darling”

and then two runaway words follow with

“forgive me”

barely breathed out.

Both words escaped his lips like traitors that were not meant for her ears, but that's quickly out of his mind when finally his fangs can break the thin resistance that the soft skin of her breasts was valiantly putting up.

The warm liquid hitting his tongue sets off an explosion in his mind, makes him realise he has never learnt enough words to describe the absolute perfection that the taste of thinking creatures could bring to his lips, it would take a poet rather than a thief like himself to describe the complexity and richness of the thick liquid that caresses his insides, from his mouth and down his throat where finally the thirst is quenched, and when it fills his stomach every single part of his body feels… relief… every muscle fills with renewed vigour he didn’t know his body could posses, and suddenly he feels his own cheeks, his own fingertips still digging in her softness, getting closer to her warmth, and the flavour is so inebriating that no part of him seems to remember anything that ever happened before her blood traversed his own veins and so feeling his own hips thrust against hers feels just like the most natural consequence of that bliss that's permeating every single part of his body. The softness of her body, even with fabric still separating their legs, makes him aware of the stark contrast with his own, his hip bones as much as his own hardness relishing in the pressure his body needs now, needs to feel as if she could be all around every single part of him. The train of thoughts is becoming so warm and fuzzy while his mouth is still indulging in a mouthful of the ambrosia spilling from her veins when a low whimper from her mouth makes him realise she's gone limp in his arms.

*shit!*

A shred of lucidity comes back to him and he forces himself to end the first moment of true perfection he has experienced in all of his existence. He plants a kiss on the punctures on her breast, gently closing them, and his hand reaches to cup her cheek, her head lulling to the side with slightly parted lips from which her breath comes in faint irregular gasps.

She is magnificent, the most beautiful creature his senses have ever witnessed, her life essence coursing through his veins maybe makes him more compliant to her and only her but suddenly he wishes he could pour every loving word and sign of affection he ever had to master to give it proper significance. Her flavour is more intoxicating than anything her bouquet tried to announce about her. There surely is no life nor undeath to ever be considered if it has to be without the smooth, velvety liquid that traverses her entire being, and now his as well. He should tell her, he wants to and words are about to betray him again when *thankfully* he manages to keep them all in, while only relinquishing a soft

“Thank you”

and his arms go to circle her torso so he can gather her to his chest, one hand caressing obsessively at her soft curls, holding her, wishing for his body to engulf any reaction that still comes from the trembling limbs. He will repeat to himself that this hypnotic hold she has on him is only due to the fact that her blood is new and fresh to his system, unable to recognise they are two distinct beings. He almost jumps when her hand sneaks on him tracing lightly at his jaw, she feels colder than usual and something akin to panic flashes behind his eyes for less than heartbeat, but then her eyelids slowly reveal her dark eyes once again, fixed on his, and a flash of her pink tongue wets her lips before she can gift him again the sound of her voice.

“you should have told me”

And the slight smirk on her face now makes him realise she’s spent but not in any danger. In fact, the rosiness of her cheeks, the breath still laboured despite her lowered heartbeat suggest something entirely different. Suddenly his nostrils are caressed by the soft tanginess of pomegranate that he now knows to be the herald of her arousal. For a moment he searches his own memories of the night he died and lived forever but he knows better than to linger there. A hint of pride takes root in his awareness as the soft, almost imperceptible jolts still travelling the length of her body tell him all he needs to know about what just happened: Pain and pleasure mixed and merged until the latter won over her.

“And ruin the surprise, my darling?”

He will deny in every way that

*really? I did not know...*

That she was truly his first and nothing could have prepared him for the way she felt. Nor the way he did.

Her eyelids seem heavy as her lips pull into a smile at that, her breathing becoming more regular and he can hear her heartbeat pulsating again enough to sing for him.

He realises he has no idea how to care for a human after a vampiric bite.

Along with the warmth her blood brought to his entire being, there's an unexplained feeling though, just at the mouth of his stomach, that he can’t quite name, as if her sweet reaction is just in preparation for a punishment, now that he has officially broken another rule imposed by Cazador.

*Thou shalt not drink the blood of thinking creatures*

He finds his face contorted in a grimace just for a split second at that thought, and while the instinct comes to hold her tighter to his chest, something else urges him deeply through a physical need to get as far away from her now sleeping body as possible.

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chaotic-neutral-knitter · 1 year

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I saw this post going around and got really curious as to how OP came up with their numbers because I could not replicate them at all.

I was going to reply directly but it was getting very very long and I didn’t want to wade onto someone’s post with a bunch of my own stats bc it seemed rude, so I’m putting my response here.

I’m going to preface this by saying that I’m fully in the camp of “write because you like writing, not for an audience response” because if you don’t like the process of writing, there is no level of audience response that will make writing worth it. But. I’ve seen a lot of folks agonize over Ao3 stats and get stuck in the weeds on Ratios™. And I think there are a few really common misconceptions around what these numbers mean.

The rest of this is going to be under a readmore to spare y’all but basically it’s a breakdown of trying to calculate my own percentages like the OP in the original post and then dialing down into why hits != readers.

Here’s the stats from one of my fics as of today, May 1st 2023. I am by no means a prolific or widely known fic writer - I happen to be in a big fandom and writing for for the main pairing in that fandom.

completed multi chapter fic, rated Mature:

So this one has three chapters, 2736 hits, 436 kudos, and 146 comments. Kudos divided by hits is 16%.

“Oh no!” I might say, seeing this. “Only sixteen percent of people liked my fic enough to leave a kudos? Either my stuff is shit, or fic-readers are a bunch of lazy fucks who don’t appreciate the work I’ve put into this. Either way, I’m mad now!”

But (and I say this with a lot of love in my heart, I promise) that’s silly. Not just for the philosophical reasons of writing what makes you happy and not caring about the response. It’s silly because it’s wrong.

On a multi-chapter fic, each person who finishes it is responsible for at least 3 hits but can only leave 1 kudos. Dividing the total hits by 3 gives you 912 hits. So, once you’ve corrected for number of chapters, the percent of people who have hit kudos is 47%.

“Holy shit!” writer-me says, “I’ve published original fiction in my university newspaper, original fiction that I poured my heart and soul into btw, and if approximately half of the people who read it sent me a little heart emoji, I would have died and gone to heaven. Fic readers are the Nicest, Most Generous, and Most Beautiful readers on the planet and I am so grateful to be in this community with them.”

But! 47% is still wrong. Here’s why.

Hits != Readers

I don’t how other people do this, but my process of reading a fic is often like this (each step is one hit):

open link from someone else's rec, try to click "mark for later"

realize I'm logged out. sign in to Ao3, go back to fic and click "mark for later"

come back to read fic, generating at least one hit per chapter

open a second tab so that I can write a comment as I go (again, generating at least one hit per chapter)

finish fic, create bookmark, and then navigate back to fic to mark it as read so it's taken off my marked for later page

if I really liked the fic, I'll end up opening it back up in a tag many times so I can rec it to people by sending them the link

if I really really liked the fic, I'll come back and read it again (this is doubly true for explicit fic, btw.)

I think I’m on the high end of generating hits, but it only takes a few of me to really dial up that hit counter. And most people are going to do one or two of these things - I’d argue that it’s pretty rare for someone to leave just one hit on a fic unless they nope out of it in the middle.

Formula for calculating number of readers from number of hits:

There isn’t one. And it would take a much better mathematician than me to make one. Because this is way more complicated than dividing by chapters. Most readers leave more than one hit - especially if they like the fic a lot. Short fics and explicit fics are more likely to be read multiple times.

“But what if I crave validation?” writer-me complains, irritated with math-me for not downloading statistics software, shoving a million Ao3 fics into it, and producing some kind of bullshit linear regression. “What if I constantly see people with higher kudos/hits ratios than me? This is all very optimistic but it really doesn’t jive with my deep seated belief that everyone secretly hates me all the time and they’re too nice to tell me about it. Do they hate me? They probably hate me, right? Tell me if you hate me.”

To which I say, listen very closely, writer-me. You can either decide that AO3 stats mean something and lose your damn mind deciphering what they mean, or you can be like that kid who got an avocado for christmas and say “it’s a avocado comment!! Thanks!! :D”

And that kid seemed pretty happy.

#fanfiction #ao3 #my nonsense #I was going to vacuum and then I spent TWO HOURS writing this #whoops

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blacksapphhicmaddonna · 6 months

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CHAPTER ONE - WHAT I HAVE TO DO.

a/n: hey y'all! so, I tried to post this in response to the anon who asked for a snippet but I saved it as a draft and Tumblr ate it😭 SO THIS IS DEDICATED TO YOU, ANON, WHOEVER YOU ARE!! sorry babes!💔💖💖💖💖

its been a minute since I've written anything fully, this was fun!!! as always, please ignore any grammar/syntax/spelling. I proof read it but you feel me. I'm super excited to be writing something so long and multi chaptered and definitely out of my comfort zone! am I an action girly now? LMFAO but anyway, I'm super open to any feedback and 👀 as always, if you wanna see sum, say sum.

anyway, I love my science gays and I will stan shuriri forever. this is pretty much all angst at this point❤️‍🩹, but I truly hope you enjoy LMFAOOO. lmk how you feel.💗 (and yes, I love a good flashback real bad and ima do it every time if I can. not too much on me LMFAO)

✮ taglist: @mybonafidefeelings@zeezeecave@gr00vyminibus@lppriceisright@darkangelchronicles@princessmel-1995@xenaizogie@nanii2x, and tagging a few folks that enjoyed the sneak peak and a few shuriri/shuri/riri folks who might! @karimwillia @inmyheadimobsessed@mal-urameshi@somethingcleaverandwhitty@imjusthere2readbruv@imagineandwrite there's more but my computer glitching so we gonna get this show on the road! lmk if you'd like to join the taglist or check the link in my tagged post! love y'all, muah

✮ word count: 11,193

✮ panther divider: @firefly-graphics

✮ some of the xhosa translations are from @iinkonde! here's where you can find some of their amazing resources: 1 2 3

Shuri paced the room that seemed to be growing smaller by the millisecond around her, searching for something - anything - inside of the brain most people considered the smartest in the universe to offer the scientist in front of her. She found nothing but the desperation she had been pushing down since the moment they met.

A desperation that mirrored the effects of the herb she had reproduced, also made from the desperation to save something that she felt was slipping through her fingers at the time. Just like the herb had found its way through her body when she first took it, this feeling spread from her throat as she choked when their eyes met as she pushed herself into the dorm room she was once again standing in. Down to her chest, pulling heart strings she didn’t know she had. Plucking them in a rhythm that felt intrinsic, ancestral, almost painful in the way that they made everything feel superimposed. She resisted, but she felt her toes and she felt her finger tips and she felt the curls framing her face dance above her eyes ever so gently. It spread through every atom that comprised the panther and she could barely breathe. She felt everything and she felt nothing, like she was sinking in an ocean of clouds. She could barely look at the woman who was staring back at her with a look of confusion, and an equal desperation that she couldn't explain.

Shuri still had nothing to offer in terms of speech. She paced at a speed that had only just registered as super fucking fast, clearly adding to the concern building in Riri's eyes.

"Shuri-" Riri started, but couldn't even try to finish as her voice had triggered the awaiting and building eruption in Shuri that it always did. Riri, if she did anything to Shuri, she made her feel things she wasn't used to feeling.

"Anything you want, just name it. It's yours. I'll make it happen. I'll build it myself. Just please don't do this. Please." Shuri froze in her place, finding herself begging for something she couldn't explain. She knew she was almost yelling at the other woman, which she would never do but she couldn't find the part of her that could compose herself. She was thankful for the kimoyo beads she had scattered in the room when she entered, enabling a silencing mode and cutting through anything that the government had tapped in Riri's room.

Riri froze too, only moving to fumble with her fingers nervously. She didn't have anything to offer the panther, the queen standing in front of her. She didn't have anything to comfort her friend. The woman she loved more than she could explain. More than almost anything.

"I don't... I don't want anything from you, Shuri... We both knew this day was coming. You had to have thought about it. I thought you were.. I don’t know... It almost felt like-"

"Please, Ri. Please. Just find something and I'll do it. I'll make it myself if I have to. Please just find something else."

"I don't want... I don't understand, Shuri. We only talked about this like twice, I didn't even think you cared that much or even had time to care about it... or me, really. Just... lets just sit down for a second." Riri tried to redirect, trying to give herself time to figure out what was going on. She felt her mind trying to run back through memories and conversations the two had shared in the past year and some change, but it was few and far between that they ever really had time to talk about their lives in depth lately. At first, they talked a lot after they had finally reconnected. They had even spent a few nights together. But lately, Shuri had been working a lot and it seemed like their connection was running dry. Riri had shared her plans a few months ago and hadn't really heard much back from the woman standing in front of her looking like she was fighting a battle she wasn't sure she'd win. Riri had committed herself to this, to showing up and doing what she felt she needed to do to make up for all the ruin she had caused - or at least what she thinks she caused. And now Shuri was trying to offer her a chance out of it. She didn't know what to do or what to think. That's something she felt often with the panther, she figured out. She had zoned out for only a split second before Shuri was grabbing her wrists and looking in her eyes.

"Riri, I'm begging you." Shuri stared into the Iron Heart's eyes, searching for something she knew she was missing. Something she needed the way she needed air, she felt. Riri searched back, trying to decipher something Shuri wasn't ready to let her see.

"Shuri, you know I feel responsible... But, I just.. I don't understand what's going on. What's wrong? Please just talk to me. It's okay." Riri tried to pull them closer, tried to grab the Panther's hand but her grip was too tight around her wrists. Shuri relaxed it, she hadn't intentionally been holding on so tight but she wasn't ready to let go. She's never been ready to let go of who she loves. She saw that same resolute look in Riri's eyes that was always there when she was sure about something. It broke something in Shuri that she knew she couldn't mend on her own. One final try, she told herself.

"I will give you anything under the sun. Please just don't go to them. Don’t go to him. I- I know you're trying to help and change things for the better, and you will. But not like this. Not until it's safe. He will find you, Riri. He will do anything to get to you and to get back at me. You know this and you still choose to go? You don’t have to make this easy for him. We can figure this out a different way. Please. I will give you access to all the technology Wakanda has to offer, just please find something else to focus on, to take place of this. Please."

Riri tried to pull her closer again but the panther moved back, sending a shiver of rejection up Riri's spine.

"I don't want anything from you, Shuri... I just want you. I- I mean I just want you to-"

Shuri felt her body getting hot and somehow freezing at the same time. Riri just wanted her? But she also wanted to go on this suicide mission, which is what it was regardless of what Riri thought of it. She fought back the defensiveness she felt crawling up her throat like it always did when she was hurt. She didn't want to lash out on Riri, she only wanted to protect her. She only wanted her to be safe, alive. She only wanted her. But it was to no avail. She felt the ferocious beast pull itself through her. She scorned herself as her words burned their way through her skin, landing on Riri's.

"You just want whatever you want. You just want to fight whatever moral war you have going on because you're the one who survived! You would give up your life for what? For who? Not for my mother! Not for me!"

Riri hadn't noticed the tears stinging down her cheeks until she saw the ones pouring out of Shuri's. It was something she had never seen before. She had seen Shuri lash out, though. She knew this was just the first wall of defense the panther had when she felt hurt, afraid, abandoned. She couldn't take this personally, though she had to fight back the sting of the words as they came at her. She reached out to try and touch the woman in front of her.

"Shuri, please. Let's just ta-"

"What?! Sit and talk? For what? For you to tell me again why you have to do this, why you have to go and die? Do you care so little for me? For yourself?"

"You know that's not true!"

"Why wouldn't it be true?! Ungayenza njani le nto kum!?"

"Please just listen to me! I don't know what's going on but we can talk about it! I'm right here, I'm right here!"

"But you won't be after this! You don't have to do this! Just let me try, let me show you that there's other things to give you purpose, there’s other ways we can handle this! PLEASE!" Shuri felt herself starting to cave in, her chest becoming a cavern filled with the screams of the orphaned girl inside of her. The girl who needed her family. The girl who couldn't save her brother. The girl who was held back from her mother as she drowned. The woman who loves women, specifically the woman in front of her who was planning to give herself up. She couldn't keep it together. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't think.

"That's not for you to decide, Shuri!" Riri shot back, starting to feel the same layer of armor pull itself over her. She didn't like being yelled at. It triggered something in her that she herself had pushed back as far as it would go. She just needed to get Shuri to listen to her.

"I don't care! You can't do this Riri!"

"Please stop yelling at me!" Riri gave in, covering her ears and turning her back to the panther, who felt herself go still. She hadn't meant to unleash this part of herself. She felt embarrassment mixing with her desperation, afraid she had only made things worse. Who was she to be trying to control the actions of a woman she only met a little over a year ago? Who she was just friends with, and barely that if you based it off what normal friendships looked like. They rarely even spoke for longer than a few minutes every couple days and that wasn’t even true anymore. Shuri scorned herself for the time she hadn’t spent with her, for the time she had been forced to spend trying to fix, defend or save her country. She resented her royal blood now more than ever, wishing she could be nothing more than a girl again. Maybe a student. Maybe just different. Shuri felt herself starting to crack, she felt like she would disintegrate if she stood there any longer. She had done enough damage. She and Wakanda and the Talokan had put Riri through enough and she knew that. She could see why Riri would think this guilt was hers to bare but Shuri knew better, knew more secrets. She knew that her father and his father and so on hadn’t handled things right, and no matter the good T’Challa had tried to do - maybe he didn’t do it right either. So now it laid in her hands, forced once again to stand in the way of something she wasn’t ready for. She felt bad for herself, but she felt worse for Riri. She wishes she had never sent her home with the beads, that they had never touched hands, that they had never even met. Maybe if no one ever knew about Vibranium, no one would be trying to take it. Or maybe if the world had always known, if her ancestors had done things differently, this wouldn’t be Riri’s life. She was part of the lost tribe, as N’Jadaka would call it. Maybe he was right. She didn’t know what to think, but she also knew who she was, herself. She was the most powerful person on the surface world and she was the Queen of the most powerful nation in the world. And she was in love, helplessly, with Riri Williams. She would not let her go again.

"I am sorry for coming here and making you upset." Shuri said blankly, masking any emotions she had just shattered into the room as best as she could to regain any self control she had left.

Riri turned around, tears still swelling in her eyes. She hiccuped and it made Shuri's heart pound.

"I-it's okay. I just don't like b-being yelled at. Can we just sit and talk?"

Shuri nodded, knowing Riri needed a minute. Riri turned to grab a blanket off her bed to wrap herself in as she took a seat on the floor in front of her bed. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths before motioning to Shuri to sit next to her. Shuri stared at her for a moment too long, before kneeling down next to her. They sat in silence that wasn't comfortable for the first time in a long time. Neither missed this feeling, the feeling of such uncertainty between them. Sure, it was always there, biting at the backs of their minds and hearts. But they had both worked hard to be comfortable with just having what they had. But now more than ever, neither was sure what was really going on. Shuri mirrored Riri, taking a few deep breaths. Riri felt herself relax, misreading the quiet sigh Shuri let out.

"Are we okay? I don't want us to fight. I just... need you to help me understand why you're so upset. It didn't seem like you even really cared about this. I know you've been busy with what you have going on so I just figured this... I.. wasn't really on your radar anymore."

Shuri stayed silent, fighting that feeling nudging her.

"Please say something." Riri pleaded quietly after a few too many more moments of silence. She couldn't stand it. Neither could Shuri. She needed to escape. Get out of the room, out of America. She needed to run and scream and break something. She needed to kill Namor. That was her only option, once again. She knew it would come. She knew the fate of her country would be in the air again, and part of her knew she shouldn’t do it. Equal parts yes and no. Blood on either hand, regardless of what choice she made. But she also knew that Riri's life was once again in question and there was only one answer Shuri would accept. She would deal with the aftermath the same way she had been. She would accept whatever came. She knew she wasn't thinking clearly, that maybe she would be exiled or worse, but she also knew she couldn't live with herself if Riri wasn't alive tomorrow, and that was enough for her right now. If Riri wouldn't listen, then there was only one choice.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you, Riri. It won't ever happen again."

Riri was startled at the sincerity in the Panther's voice. She was confused why that was what Shuri felt she had to focus on in the midst of whatever the hell was going on.

"It's okay, I promise. I'm not mad at you for yelling at me. I'm just confused..."

"It's not okay. This, whatever you're planning, whatever he's planning... None of this is okay." Shuri said, pinching between her eyes as she tried to swallow the same beast from just a few minutes ago.

"Shuri... it's not like before. It's not about him. It's not even just about what happened in Wakanda. You know I'm Iron Heart. You knew I was going to start doing these things at some point. Missions that weren’t just flying around Chicago and Boston stopping robberies. And you know that something has to be done. And I can’t let this go on again when we all know it’s my fault.” Riri sighed. “We all know it is. So, please just try to hear me..."

"I have always heard you, Riri."

Riri digested that sentence with a gulp. She replied after a moment.

"Then let me hear you, for once. Tell me why you're here. Tell me why you're reacting like this. Tell me who you are and what you're feeling. Let me in, Shuri." She said, reaching out to grab Shuri's hand again. The Panther's hand was hot, almost burning. She didn't pull away this time.

"I'm here because I lo-.. Because I won't let this happen." Shuri caught herself before she said something she couldn't explain. Riri looked into Shuri's eyes with a pleading, less sure look. Shuri couldn't hold it this time. She couldn't freeze. She couldn't tell Riri. She reminded herself what happens every time she loves someone. She reminded herself of what she was capable of and what needed to be done. Regardless if Riri ever shared her feelings or not, she would swear her life to protecting the woman until the day she met the ancestors and maybe after if she could. She would do whatever it took, every time, no matter what, she resigned to herself. She squeezed Riri's hand.

"What're you gonna do? Lock me in my room, Shuri? I don't get what's going on!" Riri pleaded.

"I would never. You are not a prisoner or someone I want to control. You are free to do as you please, just as I am. Please understand that much."

"What does that mean... Wait, please don't go!" Riri tugged back at Shuri's hand again as the Panther got up to leave. Shuri looked down at their hands touching, taking in every second that their skin touched. She remembered what it felt like to reconnect after a long time apart. She wishes she could live in it like she had before. She brought their foreheads together and closed her eyes.

"I will protect you with every part of me. The cost will never be too much."

"Shuri, please don't do what I think you're about to do..." Riri pulled Shuri's hands into hers and brought them to the sides of their faces. They were so close they could feel each other's breath on their lips. Riri prayed in her head that Shuri would listen to her, knowing the strength and power the woman in front of her wielded. Shuri choked out a pained laugh before kissing Riri's forehead and pulling away, taking in the scent of Ghanian Shea Butter and the sweet scent Riri always had.

"Andizukuphulukana nawe. Impilo yami ngeke ibe lutho ngaphandle kwakho, Riri Williams."

Before Riri could open her eyes, the Black Panther was gone, the sound of a closing door shaking Riri to her core. She felt like she was in shock, having nothing to do but curl into a ball and pull the blanket around her body, covering her face as she let the rest of the tears fall silently. She laid there for what felt like an eternity until she heard a familiar voice call out to her.

"Miss Williams?" Riri jumped up, running around her room tracking down the voice. She picked up a purple and black kimoyo bead and held it up, suddenly seeing several others connect like magnets from across the other corners of the room.

"Griot?!" Riri both yelled and whispered.

"Hello, Miss Williams. Are you feeling alright?" Griot asked as the AI began taking a scan of her body to check her vitals.

"I've been better... what's going on? Why are you here? Not that it's not nice to... well you get what I mean!"

"It seems you have suffered a panic attack of sorts. Please get some water and take a seat before I proceed."

Riri rolled her eyes with a tired huff, giving in because she knew Griot wouldn't budge until she obliged. She grabbed a half empty bottle of water from her desk and sat back down near her bed, pulling the blanket up around her. She suddenly felt the absence of Shuri in her space and fought back the tears threatening to make way through her as she pulled the bracelet on, watching it activate. She had felt this way before, but it was different now.

"Feeling better, Miss Williams?"

"Just Riri is fine, and I guess. Can you explain what's going on now, please Griot?"

"Yes, Miss Riri." Griot replied as a hologram of Stark Tech floated in front of the scientist. She felt even more confused.

"Why are you showing me Stark Tech?"

"The panther has created and assigned your own AI for you, it's name is VIV. It is nearly identical to the JARVIS, or Vision, that Tony Stark had. It has been being developed for over a year, and seems to have just finished."

"What the fu-"

"The Panther also has an updated version of your vibranium Iron Heart suit on it's way to your lab location, or garage currently. She has given you access to me as well, with some restrictions. She has instructed me to inform you of this when the AI download is complete."

Riri sat in even more shock than she was in before. She was even more confused about Shuri's intentions now. More confused about her feelings, than anything. She replayed the words the panther had said to her before she left, she knew some Xhosa but it wasn’t great.

"Can you translate what Shuri said to me in Xhosa before she left, Griot?" Riri asked, hoping for some clarity. Griot calculated for a moment, before answering.

"It would seem I am not permitted to complete that task at this time, Miss Riri."

Riri felt a pang of frustration rise in her, as she let out a laugh.

"Of course not... Can you tell me where the panther is right now?"

Griot took a moment again before answering.

"The Queen was on her way back towards Wakanda as of her last status, but it would seem she has powered off her location devices. Would you like me to contact her for you?"

Riri sat for a moment, considering her options and her own feelings.

"No, that's alright Griot. We're going to my lab. Can you help me boot up VIV when we get there? We're going on a trip."

"As you wish, Miss Riri."

Riri stood up, grabbing a hoodie and sliding on some J's. Before she walked out the door, she slid on the kimoyo beads and asked a final question.

"Oh, one last thing Griot. Can you turn on privacy mode? I would like my location hidden from everyone, including the Panther. Can you do that?"

"It seems I can, but I would not advise that action Miss Riri. There are safety protocols in place that the Panther can activate for you remotely."

"That's fine, just turn it on. I have my own safety protocols."

"As you wish, Miss Riri."

"Thank you, Griot."

Riri made her way to her garage in no time, paying no mind to the world around her or the messages on her phone from MJ about their project. When she got there, she did decide to shoot her a quick text explaining that she was heading home to Chicago for a family emergency, that MJ could find her portion already done on a small drive in her room and that she had permission to break in, and that she would make it up to her later. MJ did reply, but Riri didn’t have time for that. She got to work, with the help of Griot, or the portion of him that she was allowed to operate, and booted up her own AI and implemented it into her nano suit. The one from wakanda was on its way but wouldn’t be there in time. Thankfully, she didn’t have to meet with Namor for another day and a half. She needed to think quickly but after working everything out with her suit, she was unsure where to go from there.

“Griot, can I use both you and VIV?”

“Yes, but you likely will not need me once the AI is turned on. I will be there when you need me, though Miss Riri.”

“Thank you Griot.” Riri smiled to herself, always fond of Griot and their robot voice. It made her think about the time she spent in the lab with Shuri, where they would borderline argue and Riri would laugh at them. This brought back that pang in her stomach and chest. She got to work on turning on and engaging with the AI so that it could mold to her needs, voice and patterns. After about an hour, she felt ready to head off. Except she had no idea how to get to Wakanda, let alone how to get in. She ruffled through her bookbag to find the information Namor had sent for her. A small teal envelope with her name on it, looking like it was written with a quill and ink. She shuddered at the thought of how old this man was and how intentional he had been to get this note to her. She opened it and read over it again, hoping to find more information than last time. Then, an idea came to mind.

“Hey VIV, and Griot, not that I don’t think you can handle it by yourself VIV. But uh, can you both scan this for me? I don’t have my Black light. Look for anything and everything. Cross reference what you find, if anything. Please.”

“Yes IronHeart.” “Yes, Miss Riri.” They both answered in tandem. While they got to work, Riri sat down finally to think about what she could do. She couldn’t exactly call up the avengers to help her figure this out. She had to be lowkey, she had to be smart, and she needed it to work. She had only been to Wakanda once, and wasn’t really in the know about how to travel there let alone get through the border forcefield. As she went over all she did know, trying to remember any details that would help, the AI duo alerted her.

Griot speaking first, since VIV seemed to sense a deeper trust from the IronHeart’s patterns.

“There are markings on the back that would indicate a geolocation where Namor would like you to meet.”

“So, coordinates? I can work with that.” Riri said out loud, still trying to figure out exactly how she could work with that. Until she looked over at her father’s red car, in pristine condition thanks to Shuri. And it dawned on her.

“Griot, do you have contact information for anybody besides Shuri?”

“I have contact information for Queen Shuri, and Okoye, former general of the Dora Milage.”

“Perfect. Please contact her now.”

“Yes, Miss Riri.”

“Wait, before you do, please transfer this contact information over to VIV. I’m not sure if Shuri knows that I have VIV yet, but in case she does, I don’t doubt that she would shut you down.” Riri explains to her favorite robot as if they needed it. Griot complied and sent a call out to Okoye.

Riri waited, holding her breath. She wasn’t sure is Okoye would answer, or even be willing to help. But this is what she had to work with.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Okoye answered.

“Small girl. Is everything alright?” Okoye answered seeming cheerful enough to hear from the girl but not without worry for the cause. Riri took a deep breath and explained the situation, truthfully, to the best of her ability. Somehow, as a surprise to both of them, Okoye was on her way in a matter of minutes as a Midnight Angel, with a jet that Shuri had let her keep. They both knew Shuri would be upset, but somehow it didn’t matter enough to let her get to Namor. They both knew what could happen, and what Shuri would likely do.

No time was wasted when Okoye arrived, Riri running in the open hatch as fast as she could. Okoye pulled off without a trace, both of them hoping they hadn’t alerted any American law enforcement this time.

Okoye charted course for Wakanda and they both sat in near silence for most of the ride, only sharing a few words when Riri boarded, Riri showing Okoye the letter before she began piloting. They would make it in time. Riri sat near the back, not feeling like she belonged at the mantle of the machine. She had always liked these, having begged Shuri to teach her how to fly one before they set off for war. Riri sunk into her feelings that she had been trying to keep at bay since finding out about the AI. Before Shuri came, she honestly really wasn’t sure what she was going to do or how she was going to do it. But it seemed like the timing would suggest that she was supposed to, whether she really wanted to believe that or not. She didn’t want to believe that she was this horrible monster who brought death and destruction with her everywhere she went, but sometimes she really did. She tried to fight those thoughts back and began to feel the weight of her body, sinking into the seat. Sinking was a familiar feeling to her. She tried to remember how to swim in her own thoughts. She remembered how Shuri would talk her through her episodes. How she would call right away when she sensed anything off, even if Riri wasn’t wearing her beads. She remembered how it felt to think everything would be okay, and how often that was proved to be untrue.

It was too easy to remember. Too easy to feel like it was just yesterday. Riri couldn't keep her mind from wandering back in time while the Wakandan jet made its way through the air. Trying to focus on anything else, trying to pay attention to the Dora silently flying or guarding the exit, trying to watch the sky around her. Anything. She couldn't bite down hard enough on the inside of her cheek, leaving a sore mark wasn't enough to keep her mind from its current occupation.

"What are you doing here?!" The shorter of the two screamed, almost screeched as she ran into the panther's arms.

"I had some time to myself finally. Where else would I go?" Shuri chuckled as she picked the scientist up.

"You could literally go anywhere in the world and probably... out of the world? At this point with Wakandan tech." Riri explained, seriously, as she hung onto the slim but toned body holding her off the ground with ease, not realizing she was holding on as tight as she was. Not realizing there was nowhere else Shuri would have gone. Nowhere.

"You're so... anyway, what should we do?"

"How long do we have?" Riri asked as she pulled back, not even trying to contain her wide grin that was plastered across her face. Shuri recorded it to memory, as she always did with the smaller woman's features.

"96 hours. Well, 96-ish, less now that we've been standing here debating where I could've gone." Shuri jokes as she lets go, making sure Riri found her footing.

"Shut up! Four days?! We have so much to do!" Riri definitely screeched this time, pretending to slap Shuri's arm. Fighting the urge to grab it and pull her in, Shuri picks up Riri's book bag from where she dropped it and places it in her desk chair as she walks to the bed and pulls her own bag out from under the bed.

"Exactly how long have you been here? You seem comfortable." Riri jokes as she grabs two waters from her mini fridge and hops up on her bed.

"I am." Shuri chuckles at the sight of the shorter woman having to jump to get on the bed. "And since your first class."

"Are you serious?! Why didn't you say anything dickhead?!"

"Ouch!" Shuri feigns pain as she catches the pillow Riri throws at her head and plops on the bed next to her. "I had a few things to handle, and needed to secure the dorm building. I didn't want to disrupt your day, I know midterms are coming up no?"

"Yeah, they are but you could've let a bitch know! I would've cleaned!" Riri states, noticing that she sounds much like her mother.

"I like your mess." Shuri smiles.

"Shut up. How did you secure the whole dorm building?"

"Well, I hope you don't mind. I have beads in every corner of the building. And a few around campus as well. Including in here. Is that alright with you?"

"Sheesh. Do I have a choice?" Riri jokes, but Shuri nervously answers.

"Yes of course! If it's not comfortable for you, I can sleep at a hotel. I should've asked, I'm sorry about that. Next time I'll-"

"There's a next time too?"

"Well, if you'd li-"

"Are you crazy?! Of course! And yeah yeah, that's all fine with me. I get it. Don't start worrying about it or nun. I was just curious."

Shuri's smile returns and she relaxes back into the bed. It was oddly comfortable, being that the last time she was here was before the war. Sure, they'd been talking for months over facetimes and calls. And texts. And letters.. oddly, but not to them. They were both truly as desperate as they felt, but excused it since it seemed mutual - opting to call it a mutual interest in friendship, as opposed to what it really was in the bigger picture. And sure, they had seen each other one other time, but it was so brief that it shouldn't really count - although it did, to both of them.

Shuri had arrived at an American event in Boston, forced to show face by the elders after the uproar surrounding her mother and everything. She felt it was too soon and didn't make sense to attend a tech gala when none of it was even touching Wakandan tech. But regardless, she put on her best suit and went, disregarding the elder's request for her to wear traditional royal attire. She sat there, wishing she hadn't come, while big investors droned on. The only part that peaked her interest was listening to the stories of young inventors. They reminded her of herself, so excited and in a hurry. They reminded her of someone else too. Someone she had been longing to see since she left Wakanda only a few months ago at the time.

Shuri muddled around the thought of calling Riri, or just showing up at her dorm. She knew she had responsibilities to attend to the next afternoon after she returned home, and it really hadn't been that long. Maybe Riri wasn't ready to see her yet? Or maybe she never would be. Or maybe Shuri had really made their connection up in her own mind. Or maybe she didn't? And maybe she should just call her, or maybe send her a quick text to keep it more casual? Keep what, casual exactly? She wasn't sure. She paced around her own mind anxiously the entire night, not realizing it was her turn to speak until the Doras were next to her asking if she was alright. She collected herself and headed to the stage, performing a speech much like her brother had about the importance of innovation, supporting the youth - especially the Black and Brown youth, etc. She meant what she said but she hardly felt as connected or present with it as she was when she wrote it. Still circling her mind was her favorite innovator, the scientist who made everything make sense to her. Pining so badly, by the end of her speech she had resolved to call Riri. Faking her smiles through the eruption of clapping and handshakes as she left the stage, she made her way back to her seat while the closing speech began - only to lose her resolve when Ayo bent down to whisper a reminder of their exit plan and their intended arrival time back in Wakanda.

She had known it was a foolish thought. Who even knew what the small scientist would be doing at this time? She could be working, studying, partying. God, Shuri hoped not but recoiled at her own thoughts. She wasn't heteronormative and she wasn't the toxic type. She just also felt jealous of anybody and anything that got to be around Riri when she wasn't. Which was most times. Essentially all the time. Really, she reasoned with herself, she had only been around Riri for a few days and it had been against her will anyway. Maybe she really was making all of this up in her head.

The Queen of Wakanda continued her mental pace as she made her exit, later than most guests and certainly not from the front entrance. She walked through the beautiful building with the Doras who were talking amongst themselves about logistics, seemingly all having caught onto another one of Shuri's "moods". Shuri paid them no mind, as they expected, while she began brooding. What was the point of coming to America, aside from like... the actual point, politically - if not to see her scientist? She caught herself scoffing at "her scientist", making fun of herself in her head as they headed outside and around the back when the Doras suddenly stood alert around her. Shuri looked around her and back at her beads quickly, doing a quick scan of their surroundings, only to hear a small, out of breath "Hey" from her left.

"Williams?"

"Yeah, yeah.. haha. Hoo. Crazy catching you here." Riri joked awkwardly as she tried to catch her breath from clearing having run.

"Yes, well I was-"

"Giving a speech. I saw on tv. Just happened to be in the neighborhood myself so I figured I'd uh, say hi." Riri cut the Panther off as she caught her bearings and finally made eye contact. Shuri made contact back, silently signaling for the Dora to drop their guard. Ayo looked between them but of course followed command. Shuri stepped between them and closer to the scientist, who was now twiddling her fingers and looking anywhere but at Shuri. Just like she did in Wakanda. Just like Shuri had replayed in her head a billion times over. While Shuri took the absence of eye contact as a chance to damn near gawk at the smaller woman, Riri was doing her own mental laps.

She also questioned her intentions and if she had been making this all up. She also questioned how crazy she must look, showing up here like this. She couldn't stop herself, leaving MJ, Peter and Ned in her OWN room after they had been flipping through channels and Riri caught a glimpse. That was all it took, one, maybe two seconds and she was out the door. And granted, she kind of was in the neighborhood. If you consider being four miles away in the neighborhood. She had considered grabbing her car from the garage but figured it would take too long, so she jumped in her nano suit her and Peter had been working on (that definitely still needed some work), and flew over. Of course she couldn't land in front of everyone, so she landed in a park a few blocks away and took off on foot. None of which she will EVER tell anybody, although she could barely remember her excuse to the three friends she left in her dorm as she forced herself to look back up and meet Shuri's eyes.

"In the neighborhood?"

"You could say that." Riri joked awkwardly again.

This made Shuri laugh. Riri had that effect on her, she had learned during their late night lab sessions. Even in the midst of the grimmest of days and a literal war, Riri had Shuri laughing so hard she cried a few times. They both seemed to be thinking back while they laughed together and smiled at each other shyly until Ayo cleared her throat.

"We must get going, Kumkanikazi." Both women seemed to jump a bit, having been pulled out of their staring contest. Riri shuddered at hearing Shuri be called that, she recognized it from when Okoye would speak about Queen Ramonda. She had done her best to pick up on as much of the language as she could when she was there, for some reason unknown to her - she just figured it would come in handy. But now, hearing it and knowing it meant Queen, shook her to her core. She remembered why she hadn't reached out, the guilt that sat in her bones about it. She nearly turned on her heels until she heard Shuri speak.

"One moment please."

"My Queen, we really must-" Ayo begun speaking in Xhosa but was cut off by the Panther Queen.

"Please. One moment." Shuri said, a command but almost begging, not turning to face the general one step to the side of her. She pulled at the necklace around her neck and Ayo nodded silently.

"I will ready the jet." Ayo answered and turned around, her and the two other Dora briskly walking to the jet that was just now coming into Riri's focus. She assumed it was using the new camouflage tech she had heard mentioned before she left Wakanda.

"Those things get cooler every time."

"Yeah, I suppose they do." Shuri laughed half heartedly. They both tried to speak but cut each other off.

"So-"

"I do-"

"You first." They both sheepishly smiled as they spoke in unison. but Riri insisted. "Go ahead, please."

Shuri would've resisted if she wasn't so desperate and struggling against showing it.

"How have you been? I've mis- I've been wondering. We haven't spoken since you left." Shuri caught herself, suddenly feeling like twiddling her fingers and looking at her shoes too but she resisted that too. She was good at resisting.

"Oh.. well yeah. I've been. You know, school, work. Just been trying to get through the semester. I wanted to re- well I wondered how you've been too."

"I've been, too." Shuri shrugged with a smile. She wanted to know more, everything. To devour the stories Riri could tell her, even the most mundane. She wanted to know what pencils she used to write equations and what she thought of the food in her cafeteria. Riri just smiled, feeling the weight again. She knew Shuri hadn't been good, and she knew she hadn't either.

"Can I ask you-" They both spoke in unison again.

"You first." Riri insisted again, before Shuri could. Shuri didn't like it but she also didn't have much time to waste.

"Why didn't you reach out?" She asked, leaving Riri out of breath all over again. After a second that seemed like a million, Riri answered.

"I didn't know how." She said truthfully.

"I left you beads. Maybe I should've left a note too. I'm sorry, I figured you'd-"

"No, no. Not like that. I figured that out, it was actually pretty easy." Riri smiled, thinking about how much fun it was to try to get the beads to work. Fun until it wasn't. Fun until she heard Shuri's voice message and left it for months.

"Then you didn't want to?"

"No, I did. I just didn't know... how. I didn't know what to say, or how to say it. But trust me, I wanted to. I really wanted to." Riri said earnestly and more quiet than she intended. Shuri believed her and took her answer, even if she didn't like it. Again resisting herself. Resisting Riri.

"I understand. Thank you for letting me know. Well..." She looked back at the Jet and sighed. They made eye contact before Shuri decided it would be best to count her losses in her own country, turning to leave.

"Wait, I still have a question!" Riri almost shouted. "If that's okay... of course." She said more quiet. Shuri turned around eager to hear. Hoping. Resisting. But hoping. She nodded her head.

"Well..." Riri twisted her fingers around in her hands. She still didn't know what to say or how to say it. But she didn't have much time to waste.

"Well?" Shuri asked, trying not to sound pushy but anxious to know.

"Is it too late?" Riri asked, looking back up at the woman in front of her. The face she had committed to memory, but a bit different. More mature. Somehow even more beautiful. Shuri said nothing.

"...To reach out... To talk?" Riri finally drove it home, sending a silent prayer to whoever would answer that she wouldn't further embarrass herself.

Startling the both of them, Shuri's beads lit up and Ayo's face appeared.

"My apologies my Queen, but if we do not leave in the next three minutes, you may be late to your engagements tomorrow."

"Yes, thank you. I'm coming." Shuri said back, eyes still on Riri.

Riri felt defeated as she watched the panther tuck her beads back up her sleeve. It probably was too late. And who knows. Maybe it was the right thing to do to not stay in contact. Maybe that's what was best for Wakanda or Shuri. She remembered her mother always telling her that sometimes "doing the right thing feels like shit". In this case, she thought, it felt worse than shitty.

That was until Shuri grabbed her hand. Softly, almost too soft in comparison to what you'd expect from a super powered panther. It was so soft yet sent a shiver through Riri, like electricity was coursing through her. Like her heart was beating for the first time. The eye contact was somehow not as awkward as it was a second ago when they were standing a few feet apart. It was like they were all alone.

"Use the beads. If they need to charge, just set them in the sun but they shouldn't."

"Oh- Okay. I will. I will." Riri said twice, almost like she was confirming with herself first and the Shuri.

"Good." Shuri smiled. She took a step closer before she heard another beep on her own beads. Before the General could speak, Shuri was already responding.

"I heard you. I'm coming."

She looked at Riri again and sighed, and suddenly Riri saw just how exhausted the Panther really was. And maybe something else too. Shuri stepped back again, not wanting to let go of Riri's hand.

"It'll never be too late. I'll see you soon?" Shuri said, finally letting go and letting the physical distance regrow between them, hoping that the emotional distance wouldn't grow again too.

Riri watched as the panther walked back to the jet and boarded, looking back only once, only long enough to catch Riri's small wave but not return it. The younger scientist stood there feeling disassociated, unsure of what to do next. Really, she knew she had to go back to her dorm and go back to living her real life just like she had after she left Wakanda. Although, as dreary as that still seemed to her, this time felt different. Like there was something to look forward to, if she had the balls to actually use the beads like Shuri had said. She mulled over whether or not it was an instruction or a question from the Panther as she chose not to watch the jet fly off behind her. She heard the media start to buzz again when they heard the jet, upset that they had missed the person they were waiting for. Yet, Riri stood there and stared at the ground where Shuri was just standing. She still felt that pathetic feeling, and worried that she hadn't had a chance to explain how she found Shuri or even knew she would be there. She felt the weight of grief again, after seeing how tired Shuri looked when you really looked at her. And she felt guilty, for feeling excited. For feeling the butterflies she always pretended she didn't feel. She wondered, briefly, how Shuri was feeling right now but per usual, tried not to wonder too much as to not become delusional. She knew better than anybody that assuming to know how someone else thinks is the worst mistake you can make.

Shuri, back in the jet that was flying faster than she would like, was afflicted by similar thoughts. She wondered how Riri had found her and wondered if she really was as lucky as that just felt. She wondered why the girl even came. She wondered if she thinks about her too. She wondered if Riri would use the beads. She sat awake, replaying every moment of their time together since their first encounter over and over until they arrived in Wakanda, despite the Doras concerns for her not getting rest. Shuri would rest when things were well enough for her to rest, she told herself, but even she was starting to notice the cracks. She knew she could only stay awake for so many days until her body would shut down. She had secretly tried some of the elixirs and teas that both Nakia and Aneka had sent her, and she had read what Okoye sent her after hearing everything. She had slept every now and then, but it was never restful. It was never without torment from some figment of her mind taking shape of someone she wasn't ready to face - whether that be Namor, N'jdaka, or her mother. She always prayed for T'Challa to appear, who she wasn't sure if she was ready to see but longed for the comfort of his voice or face, but each time her body fell asleep, her mind fell into a well pit of despair.

That is, until later that night. Shuri had been through her daily responsibilities after making it back to Wakanda. Once her meetings were over, she made her way to the lab. She did her best to avoid checking the status of Riri's beads, trying to keep her mind busy as she usually did. It was harder this time, knowing that she'd actually spoken to the girl. After bopping around a bit, her body started to feel the weight of the past few days. She hadn't been physically training as much as she should've the past few weeks, because she knew it would knock her out but she was starting to feel stiff. She finally let up and sat down at one of her desks in a back room of the lab after Griot had let her know her vitals. She didn't usually sit in this room, so she hadn't been aware of what was placed in there. As she lazily sifted through the papers on the desk to try to keep her mind occupied, she saw blueprints for Riri's Iron Heart suit. The same feeling of nervousness and excitement rose in her as she more hurriedly looked over them. Despite all the work they did together, she never really got to see too much of Riri's initial process from scratch. She ran her slender fingers over Riri's pencil marks, reading over all her notes to herself.

With a yawn, Shuri sat back and relished in the fact that Riri actually existed. Sometimes, when Shuri was really out of it, she couldn't believe that everything really happened. She was sometimes convinced she would wake up and her mother would still be here, or that Riri was just a figment of her desperate imagination. Sure, having her mother back would be... well, everything. But it scared Shuri to think Riri might not have been real, that she didn't really happen. She felt selfish for this, knowing that Riri's life would probably be better without the trauma she endured in Wakanda. But nevertheless, Shuri held on tight to the memories she had of the woman, hoping that they would be enough for her.

She thought about how it felt to hold Riri's hand, to touch her skin again. It was just as soft and delicate as it had been when they parted ways a few months ago. Her face looked the same, maybe more mature in some ways. She looked tired too, underneath the face she put on for other people. They had gotten past that with each other during their long nights alone working together in the lab.

She thought about what it would feel like to fall asleep in Riri's bed. The mattress probably wasn't super comfortable but she remembers all the colorful pillows she has, messily strewn across the surface. The different colored blankets would probably fit them both well, even with the little space a twin bed supplies. They would have to be close, touching. Shuri imagined breathing in sync, feeling Riri's ribcage rise and fall in her arms while they were pressed against each other. She thought about how Riri smells. She's been trying to replicate it for months. She thought about breathing her in, laying her face in the crook of her neck and sleeping. Not thinking. Sleeping. Not even having to dream. She thought about waking up next to her, seeing her sleeping still until Shuri shifted too much by accident. Riri waking up and no doubt saying something funny. Or soft. Or just saying hello. How her eyes would look. She thought about not being afraid to make it real, that in her thoughts she didn't have to pretend that these touches were by accident or out of necessity. That they could spend an eternity, wrapped in colorful blankets, sleeping and touching skin to skin. That maybe Riri would feel the same, and they would laugh about how long it took to figure it out. That they would laugh until they couldn't, and talk until they couldn't, and then they would kiss. And everything would melt away, and neither would know where their skin would begin or end. And they would kiss until they couldn't. And they'd sleep.

She hadn't realized she had fallen asleep at the desk until she heard Griot's voice.

"Sorry to startle you, Panther. But, Miss Williams is trying to contact you. How would you like me to proceed?"

Shuri was shook, unsure of what she looked like or even what time it was. She felt nervous. She felt groggy, not even sure if this was real either. Nevertheless, she answered.

"Patch me through, please."

She waited a moment with bated breath, hoping this wasn't a dream or some fluke. Until she heard a familiar voice.

"Hello?" Riri asked, sounding nervous herself. Shuri wondered what time it was there, too.

"Hey." She said, in a more relaxed tone. Even if this wasn't real, it was still the best dream she'd had in months. Maybe ever.

And they talked, for a long time. Eventually working through any awkwardness. Riri never explained how she made it to the Panther, and the Panther never asked. She did explain, however, why it took so long for her to call. Shuri just listened and let herself laugh, like she'd been dreaming about. Finally feeling free for a little bit, even if it was just for a little bit.

On the other side of things, once Riri had cleared everyone out of her room when she got back and promising to explain to MJ later, she had sat down and thought about what to do. That turned into pacing and talking outloud. She had been avoiding the beads like the plague for months, unsure of what to do. Unsure of what choice would cause the least harm, since she already felt guilty for what she had caused. She found herself awake all night feeling anxious. She left for class that morning, deciding that she would get through her day and take a nap. She would figure it out after that. What she didn't tell Shuri, is how hard its been to sleep since she left Wakanda, or really even how hard it was while she was there. But when she tried to take a nap, she realized that all she dreamed about this time was Shuri and how soft her hand was when they had touched and how peaceful it felt to talk to her, even if only for a few moments and only a few words. She decided when she woke up that even if they ended up never talking again, she would keep her promise and use the beads.

And that's what she did. And that's what they kept doing, for weeks and months. They talked, they listened, they laughed, and on rare occasion, fell asleep. Both free from nightmares, even if just for a little while. Until Shuri finally arrived.

And finally, they had some time to really figure things out. Shuri promised she wasn't missing anything important by being there, and that she had allotted enough time. Riri was still unsure about it but couldn't resist the opportunity to finally see the woman she had been pining over for months - as a friend, of course.

As Riri remembered back fondly, she had forgotten what was ahead of her until she was jolted by turbulence that was usually well controlled by the Wakandan tech in the fighter jet. She couldn't process how she could possibly be on her way to confront the man that almost killed her and did actually kill the Queen of Wakanda. She couldn't fathom that she was racing there, against her love, her best friend, to make sure she didn't kill him first. Suddenly her clothes all felt too tight, and her suit felt heavy despite being nano. Suddenly the air felt hot and her lungs felt empty and she felt dizzy. She had felt all of this before, a panic attack. Riri Williams was no stranger to a panic attack. Not before Wakanda, and definitely not after. Though, for the past few months, she had always had Shuri to help ground her. Now, she was floating in the air, literally and figuratively. Everything was moving so fast. She felt herself spiraling and cursing herself in the process, unable to stop it but ashamed nonetheless. She had worked hard, since she was younger, to have a control over her emotions and thoughts. She needed to, especially if she was going to take this super hero shit serious. Especially if she was going to be there for her mom and sister after her dad passed. Especially if she was going to make it. But she felt that control slowly ripping itself to shreds, doing a number on all the mental blocks she had in place. She couldn't lose Shuri. She couldn't be the cause of another war in Wakanda. She couldn't live with the guilt. She couldn't let Shuri get hurt, or worse, for her again. Even if it meant confronting a man much more powerful than her. Even if it meant losing. Even if it meant drowning all over again.

Suddenly, she felt a cool hand grace the side of her cheek. She felt her suit dematerialize around her until it was just a bracelet again. She felt Okoye kneel down in front of her, eyes kinder than they usually were. She felt her pull her in close and squeeze. The pressure of the embrace bringing Riri back into her body. They stayed like that until Riri could breathe again.

She went to apologize as Okoye pulled back silently, just as she had appeared, but she was cut off.

"Aht aht. There is no need." Okoye softly but firmly let her know, sitting down next to her. They had never been this close before. Riri looked over to see the jet flying itself. The first time she saw that happen she was crazy nervous, but she's grown to trust both Wakandan tech and Okoye. After a few moments of silence, Okoye spoke again.

"I know what she means to you, you know."

Riri looked at her finally, noticing how somber her eyes really looked. She had seen those eyes before, but not like this. Okoye continued, looking back out the windows.

"I was T'Challa's right hand. I saw it all, from the beginning to the end. I saw him be the panther, I saw him be the king. I saw him be Shuri's brother." Riri felt a pang in her at the use of Shuri's name. She listened.

"And I saw him fall in love. I saw him devote himself to Nakia, and I saw her unravel at the loss of him - until she left. I saw it all, as much as I could. And I often wondered why I didn't feel the way they seemed to feel when my husband betrayed me and Wakanda. But their love... it was pure. It was something out of this world, it was something built into them." Okoye sighed, feeling grief in many directions. Riri found herself fighting back tears again until Okoye looked at her with different eyes, almost loving eyes this time.

"I have seen that kind of love before and that is how I know you have it. Both of you. And that is how I know we will figure this out." Okoye looked at her and squeezed her hand again, affirming what she said. They both heard the AI tell them they were approaching in the next 5 minutes. Through her tears that were now shamelessly falling down her face, Riri gulped out a question, in true Riri fashion.

"Do you think you will ever love like that?"

"I already do." Okoye said, getting up and adjusting herself to get back to the front of the plane to chart their secret entrance into Wakanda. Riri looked confused.

"Ngudade wethu." Okoye answered again, before sitting down and being who she needed to be. Riri knew what she said, and knew that she was right. About all of it.

As they prepared themselves, Riri suited up and made her way to the front of the plane.

"Where did he say to meet?" The midnight angel asked Riri. She sent the coordinates to the jet and looked at them wistfully. She hadn't really thought about where she might actually be going to "talk" to him when she was rushing to get herself to Wakanda. She jumped when Okoye gasped.

"What?! What is it?!" Worry filled her from head to toe again, hoping it had nothing to do with Shuri.

"That bastard... We are going to have to find a way to break into the palace. He wants to meet in the throne room."

Riri was speechless, knowing that this was a tactic to try to make her feel weak. She also couldn't deny that it was working. She felt her heart rate increase at the thought of being back in there. Of seeing the place where she almost died. Of... all of it. She had visited many times in her dreams, all against her will. And now she would face him there, against her will. She knew he was doing this to weaken her resolve, much like her and Shuri did with the dehydrating jet. She knew his intent all along, but this certainly solidified it.

Riri tried to make peace with dying in Wakanda. Once again, her mom wouldn't know where she was or how any of this happened. She wondered what lie they would tell her. She wondered if she would fight or just give herself to him. She wondered what Shuri would do, knowing this wouldn't end well no matter what she did. But she held her mind together as best as she could. She knew she had to meet him before she did. She knew she had to do what she could to prevent a second war. Okoye knew too, looking at her and then pulling up her own beads to try and locate Shuri.

"The Panther's location services are currently offline." The Ai spoke to them.

"Let us pray she is behind us and not ahead of us."

"Will she know where to find us?"

"We are about to break into the most secure place on the planet earth. I'm sure everyone will know where to find us in a matter of moments." Okoye answered and they shared a look.

"I hope you know, I will fight until the end with you. I have stood with the Wakandan throne my whole life. I have stood with Shuri and those that came before her. I have stood for the safety of my people as best as possible, but I have made my own mistakes before. I will stand with you, now, Riri. No matter the outcome."

Riri felt the pull of her tear ducts again but different this time. Okoye reminded her of her own sister, and of her own mistakes. She reached out a hand and found Okoye's. They held hands until it was time to land.

Once they had maneuvered their way into the country using Okoye's knowledge as former general and her new disguising tech, which Riri made a note to recreate if she made it out of this, Riri followed Okoye into the dense jungle around them.

"The best chance we have is to stay low until we can't anymore, and then charge in. The Doras won't see it coming but they will react, with their full might as they've been trained to do. Even to me. Our goal is not to harm any Wakandans, but we have to get to the throne room before he does. I will do my best to reason with Ayo and Aneka but they will resist a meeting with him there. Once we spot him, we must draw him away from the palace. Even if it means drawing him to the sea. Remember that he is most powerful near water."

Riri nods as she listens. Okoye wishes there were another way.

"Remember that if we see Shuri, we may already be too late. We must keep them separate. I do not know if she will choose peace a second time. Not when it concerns you."

"I don't want her to do this, I hope you know. You were right. You were right about it all. I love her. But I don't want her to risk everything for me. You all already have and I can't live with that. I can't live with any of this. I don't want to die but... But I can't let everyone else die for me either." Riri spits out, hoping she's being believed. She means it. Okoye looks at her and hears Nakia's voice in her head. "I just know his spirit. It is simple in that way for me."

"Ndiyawazi umoya wakho. I believe you. And I will fight to make sure no one has to die today, unfortunately even him if it means peace."

"Thank you."

"Thank you, small girl."

"For what?" Riri asked, genuinely surprised since most of the mayhem the past few months has been a result of her actions - intentional or not.

"For giving her something to hold onto again. Something to believe in." Okoye answered truthfully. Riri didn't know what to say but she took in what the older woman said, against trusting her. After a few moments of silence, it was time.

"Stand behind me and do not fly until I tell you. If you enter the air space anywhere near the palace, you will be shot down before you can count to one. Do you understand?" Riri nodded.

She did understand. Now, more clearly than ever.

🖤

#black sapphic #riri williams #Shuri Udaku #iron heart #black panther #black panther wakanda forever #black wlw #marvel #SHURIRI #SCIENCE GAYS #SORRY FOR THE ANGST BUT I HAD TO

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dakotalun · 1 year

Text

Want Part 2 | Eddie Munson

pairing: Eddie Munson X Fem Reader

summary: PART 2-- Eddie hangs out with someone and you confront him about it. Eddie shows up again with a surprise.

warnings: oral (f. receiving), praise kink, pet names (good boy, baby, ma'am, babe), sub!eddie, fingering, swearing

word count: 2.9k

a/n: been a whole month...whoopsies. But I am coming back with a nice and long fic for y'all. I also have a few things in the works that will be multi parted. I hope y'all enjoy and have an amazing day!! :)

*******NOT MY GIF, CREDIT TO OWNERS*******

Eddie's been gone for what feels like hours, I’m completely broken and hurt while he's probably off with Chrissy again. Out of all the things I could've done today, I chose to ruin my relationship. I slowly raise to my feet but upon seeing the plate that Eddie had haphazardly thrown to the counter I start to feel sick. I rush to the bathroom and throw up.

Hours pass by. I'm sitting on the cold bathroom floor, refusing to move. I've thrown up twice since Eddie left me, once when I realized what he had been doing for most of the day and again after throwing up everything that was in my stomach. He still hasn't called or texted me. I really fucked this up. And I have no clue how I'm going to fix it.

My stomach tightens again as I feel another wave of vomit come up. And that's how I spend the night, laying on the bathroom floor occasionally barfing as I cry over Eddie. I can't believe I've made such a big mistake.

I wake up the next morning feeling drained and exhausted. The events from last night are still fresh in my mind and I can't seem to get myself out of bed. I turn over, a sliver of hope that Eddie came home last night. But all I find is the empty, cold space where he should be. I grab my phone from the nightstand and check for any messages, nothing. A sigh leaves my mouth as I come to the full conclusion that I should maybe leave for a while, this was Eddie's trailer first after all.

I peel myself out of the sheets and trudge to the bathroom. Getting back I search the messy closet we share for my duffel bag, finding it under a mess of dirty clothes and an old amp Eddie keeps saying he'll throw out. I pick out some comfortable jeans and a few t-shirts, stuffing them into the bag and slipping my feet into a pair of sneakers.

After grabbing my phone charger and headphones I grab the keys from the counter and walk outside. A cold gust of wind blows in my face as the seasons change from summer to fall. I plug my headphones in but just as I'm about to put them on I hear a loud boom of music coming from the street entrance of the trailer park.

I look up to see none other than Eddie driving his van, music blasting and flowing through the open windows. He's driving with little regard for anything around him, nearly hitting the neighbor's fence before parking. He shuts the van off and hops out, stumbling slightly. Yeah he's clearly drunk, or at least he was at some point since I last saw him. His face is red and slightly swollen, stains line his face from tears.

He finally looks up to see me standing on the porch of the trailer, staring at him a broken look in my eye still. He slowly and hesitently steps towards me.

"Hey," Eddie reaches up and rubs the back of his neck, a nervous tic.

"Hi."

The two of us stand there for a few seconds just looking at each other taking in the events of last night. I'm the first to talk.

"I'm gonna stay with Rob for a few days, just so we can kinda, you know," I don't finish the sentence, too scared to make this a reality.

"Don’t. Please," His eyes are softer now, no anger or resentment behind them. Just pure love and adoration, "I need you here. Please stay."

"Eddie," I look down at my feet, now finding the slowly rotting floor boards more interesting, "Look, I wish I could stay with you. I really do, but after last night. After what you said, what I said. I just don't think it's a good idea."

I don't notice how his face drops, a small frown taking place on his lips. He takes a few more steps closer to me, now at the bottom of the porch.

"Please. I don't want to lose you too. Not after all this time. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me." His words break my heart all over again, "You coming into my life was the besy thing to ever happen to me. I wouldn't have ever had the courage to really try and finish high school without you."

He speaks he walks up the steps, getting closer to me, enough to finally smell the alcohol on him, "If I could go back in time and not hang out with Chrissy I would, in an instant. But I can't," He's finally reached me. He brings his hands out to hold mine, I look at him. Really look at him for the first time since yesterday. I can see how much he means this, and how much he wants me to say I'll stay.

"I don't know if I can trust you anymore Eddie. You lied to me about where you were, and what you were doing. You're still selling even after I told you not to," I scan his face, trying to find something, anything, "And then there's Chrissy-"

"There's nothing going on between me and her, I promise! I really was just catching up with an old friend."

"Then why did you leave?" There it was. The question at the top of my mind ever since he walked out that door, why. If she was just an "old friend" then he shouldn't have felt the need to leave me. To let me cry until I was physically ill.

I pull my hands away from his, missing the warmth of them. I start to head towards my car, needing to be out of here, out of his space, away.

"Wait, please," He turns with me, following, "Babe, I love you with everything I have, and ever will have. You are the only person on this planet for me. You're the only person I can open up to. The only one I can be myself around, I need you."

He's saying all the right things except for one, the one I really need to hear from him. I stop and harshly turn to him, "I know Eddie! I know you love me and need me and all that bullshit but that's not what I asked you! I asked if you want me? If I will be enough for you, if I'm just another girl for you to fuck and pretend to love before you throw me off to the side like trash? So, do. you. want. me?"

My hands are shaking, both from the cold and my anger. I wait for him to answer, wishing he would just say yes so we can go back to normal or no so I can move on and get away from him.

"I- OF COURSE! I want you more than anything!" He runs up to me, placing his hands on my cheeks, shielding them from the cold. "Could you come with me?"

"What?" I’m confused by the sudden change in questions. Where could he possibly want me to go right now?

"Just come with me? I need to- I want to show you something, please," He's begging. Eddie Munson has never begged for anything in his life and yet here he is, practically on his hands and knees for me.

"Fine," I sigh.

His eyes light up, hands falling from my face to interlock with mine. He pulls me to his van, opening the door like he always does. Forever a gentleman. He all but sprints to the driver's side before quickly starting the old van and driving out of the lot he just came into.

We drive to the other side of town, where all the rich kids live. We trun the corner and Eddie looks over to me.

"Close your eyes."

"Huh?"

"Close your eyes. It's a surprise," A grin has spread across his face, crinkling the sides of his eyes.

I groan lightly before shutting my eyes, wondering what the hell Eddie is up to now. Not long after, we are parking and Eddie's grabbing my hand to lead me wherever we are at.

I giggle a little as he all but pushes me through a doorway, "Eds what are you doing? Where the fuck are we?"

"You'll see, just keep those pretty little eyes closed alright?" He walks me a few more steps before postioning me in place, "Alright, open."

I open my eyes and am momentarily blinded my the bright florescent overheads before noticing we are standing in front of a door.

"Eddie. What the hell is this?" I turn to look at him, his signature shit eating grin plastered on. He holds up his keys, searches for the right one then opens the door in front of us. He leads me inside, looking at my every facial movement.

"This," He gestures to the large empty living room, "is our new apartment. That is if you're not still mad at me?" His face is soft and sweet, waiting for my answer.

"Eddie this is- how did you? I don't understand," I shake my head slightly trying to understand what's going on here, "What do you mean this is our apartment?"

Eddie stands in front of me blocking my view. He reaches for my hands and holds them in his, taking away some of the anxiety I have right now.

"I've been working extra hours at the auto shop down on Main, and selling a little bit too," My face drops, "I know you told me to stop! But I saw this place a while ago, when Wayne was house hunting. And I just knew it was perfect for us."

He squeezes my hands, pulling me to the large windows on the other side of the room, it overlooks Main Street and all the little shops he knows I love, "Every dollar I’ve earned this past year has gone into a down payment on this place. It took a lot of haggling with Ted on my wages but I finally had enough. Then we had our fight last night," He looks down, ashamed at himself for what happened, "When you asked if I wanted you I don't know what happened but I just knew that now was the time to finally pay for it. So I raced down here and payed the guy, because I want nothing more than to have you in my life forever."

As he's talking, I realize I'm crying, I can't help it, I feel so much joy and pain all at once. Eddie's hands grip tighter, keeping me from falling to the floor, "If you don't want this just tell me, give me the word and I won't bother you again," He places his finger below my chin to make me look at him, his eyes are rimmed with tears just like mine are, "But before you do just let me tell you what I did last night was stupid and I promise I will never do that again. I love you with everything I have and I always will. But if I hurt you too much just tell me and I'll back off."

I can't think straight when he looks at me like that, his big brown doe eyes staring at me with all the love a person could ever hold. I look around the apartment one last time, out the big window to our right, and finally back at Eddie.

"Alright."

"What? Alright? Like you'll live here with me?!" His smile has returned, eyes finally letting the tears fall.

"Yes, Eddie. I'll move in here with you," He picks me up off my feet in a giant bear hug, spinning us in place as he yells in excitement, "On one condition."

He puts me down, hands still around my waist, not letting me move any further away, "Anything. Just name it."

"No more selling. You focus on school and I'll focus on the bills."

"Baby I can't-"

"This won't be for forever Eds. Just until you graduate then we can both pay the bills, just please promise me that?"

"Yes ma'am." He smiles and pulls me into a searing kiss. One that feels like we haven't kissed in years, and won't ever get the chance again. The kiss makes me weak in the knees and I can feel the wetness growing in my pants.

Eddie groans into the kiss before pulling away, "I gotta stop kissing you or else we'll be ruining this place before we even move in."

"And what's so bad about that? It seems like it needs a good cristining don't you?"

"Babe," Eddie's eyes grow wide and look to the side of us, where the floor length windows stand, uncovered, "We can't. What if people see us?"

I walk over to the window and look out onto the street. It's a quiet day, only a few people walking around. "So what? They'd all get to know that you're mine and I'm yours. Forever."

I can feel Eddie's chest on my back as he presses against me, his boner growing slowly, "My naughty girl," His hands go to my hips but before they can travel anywhere I turn around and pin them to his sides.

"That's ma'am to you. Got it?" I don't know where this confidence came from but I’m enjoying it. And so is Eddie, he nods his head vigirously, "Sorry I can't hear you."

"Yes ma'am."

"That's my god boy," Eddie's eyes close at the nickname, his body shivering, "You like that don't you? You like being called my good boy?"

"Mhmm. Yes ma'am."

I stand on my tiptoes to reach Eddie's ear and whisper, "Then get on your knees and show me just how good of a boy you are."

Before I can even blink Eddie is on his knees in front of me, unbuckling my jeans and pulling them down to my ankles. The sight of the wet patch on my panties has me in pieces, slowly losing all composure.

He looks up to me as he hooks his fingers into the waistline of my underwear, "May I?" I nod and he pulls them down, the slick from me making them stick to my folds. He groans and starts kissing up my thighs, towards the place I need him most. His kisses are featherlight, slowly making me dizzy, I wish he would go faster.

"Eddie," I sigh as he finally plants a kiss to my clit, so soft it's almost missed. Once he gets a taste of me he dives right in, licking a stripe up my folds to collect the juices. He moans at the taste, licking me like a dog starved.

I unravel above him, my knees becoming weak and numb. The way he eats me out is heavenly and I’ve never wanted a thing to stop less than right now. Moans and sighs are falling past my lips with each lick and suck of Eddie's mouth. I begin to feel that wonderfully familiar knot tightening and begin tightening around Eddie's tongue. He feels it and moves his ministrations up to my clit and shoves two fingers into my entrance.

"Fuck!" I keel over on top of Eddie, one hand braced on his head and the other on his shoulder, "Just like that. I'm so close Ed." Eddie picks up speed and bends his fingers to reach that spongey spot inside with every thrust of his fingers.

"Come on baby. Cum for me, let me taste you. I missed the way you taste so much. Please come for me, please."

His words send me over the edge, white lights blinding me as the string finally snaps and I’m cumming all over Eddie's face and fingers. He doesn't stop his movements, he pulls me through my orgasm, spewing words of affection and love the entire time. Once he notices that I’m starting to slow down he releases his mouth from me and removes his fingers, eliciting a whine from my lips.

"Thank you, thank you so much," Eddie slowly stands, holding me as my leg strength still haven't come back.

"That's my good boy," I pull him in for a kiss, tasting myself on him. He pushes into me making his erection rub against my exposed thigh. His eyes squeeze shut at the feeling.

"Can I fuck you now?" His eyes are pleading and full of lust.

"Take me home first, Eddie," I look into his eyes and feel nothing but love for this man. The way he treats me with so must love and attention makes me want ot hold on nad never let go, no matter what happens to us.

"We are home sweetheart. This is home now."

"I know. I just love the sound of it," I pull Eddie in for another kiss, this one sweet and gentle. Nothing like the ones from before, only love and adderation fills this, as I try to show him how much I feel for him.

I’m so caught up in the kiss that I don't even notice Eddie dip down quickly and place his hands on my thighs, but before I can question he lifts me up. I instinctivly wrap my legs around his hips and circle his neck with my arms.

"Eddie!" I squeal from my upward position.

"What? I wanna take you to the bedroom, it's got a walk-in closet," He smirks at that last little detail before walking down the hall toward the rest of the apartment.

Eddie Taglist: @ali-r3n @dixontardis

#eddie stranger things #munson #eddie munson #eddie my love #eddie my beloved #female reader #oneshot #smut #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson fic #eddie munson x you #stranger things #stranger things 4 #st4 #stranger things season 4 #eddie x reader

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lollipop-helo · 1 month

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So, I was thinking about one of my most recent posts:

The one I talk about how much I hate doing digital lineart and that my artstyle depends on it.

And that gave me an idea!

What if I created a whole new artstyle for the sole purpose of not doing any lineart?

So that's what I did!! (⁠✯⁠ᴗ⁠✯⁠)

I didn't have any idea on what I'd do or how I would do it, so it's still a bit rough and the proportions and other stuff may be a bit off ┐⁠(⁠￣⁠ヘ⁠￣⁠)⁠┌ I'll try to make it better with time!

Anyways, my first subject was....

TAILS!!!!!!

^ No bangs version (at first I completely forgot about them)

^ w/ bangs version (With this, I found out I have no idea on how to draw his "hair")

HE'S SO FREAKING CUTE!!!!!!!! ＼⁠(⁠ÒwÓ)⁠／

"Oh but why did you draw him with lashes if he's a boy?" BECAUSE HE IS THE CUTEST AND LASHES MAKE EVERYTHING CUTER!!!!!! (⁠｢⁠`⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠)⁠｢

Now for the facts! :

Miles "Tails" Prower is a character from the Sonic The Hedgehog franchise.

His name is a pun that refers to "Miles Per Hour"

He is Sonic's sidekick, and had his first debut in 1992, in the game "Sonic The Hedgehog 2".

One of his favorite foods (if not his favorite) is mints!

Even though he is very young, being only 8 years old(or 4 ½ if we're taking "The Adventures of Sonic The Hedgehog" into account), He is extremely smart and has a IQ of 300. He once even made a TV out of paperclips, for heck's sake!

He has made multiple gadgets and tech items because of his inteligence, his probably most famous/used one being "The Miles Electric", a multi-use portable computer, or the "Tornado", which is an airplane.

His intelligence and knoledge on technology is very advanced, with him being able to figure out how tech he'd never seen before works within only a few glances/minutes.

Although his main focus is in being a scientist that creates technology, he also has good knowledge in history, physics and just science in general

His origin story can vary a little depending on what piece of media we're talking about, but two things that are confirmed in the majority of iterations are that:

1- He used to get bullied in his village because of his 2 tails (That is also why his nickname is, well... Tails.)

And 2- One day he saw Sonic run by, found him cool and decided to follow him around until they became friends.

Tails can fly with his 2 tails, using them like a helicopter propeller. While flying, he is shown to be able to keep up with Sonic's speed, although he does get tired if he flies too much. Using his tails the same way, he can also push boats and stuff like that underwater. He also sometimes fights using them as weapon, and is a very skilled fighter.

Still about his tails and fighting skills, although I think those are just plot errors, he is shown to be able to use his tails to slice through metal, and is seemingly strong enough to lift up tons and sometimes is even faster than Sonic. (Okay, let me rephrase this. These definitely are plot errors. Sonic is literally supposed to be the fastest being on earth. And which 8 year old child can LIFT UP TONS OF STUFF??? It's already impressive that he can lift Sonic and other people up along with him when flying!)

(ahem...)

He is agile and has some acrobatic skills.

Unlike Sonic, he is a good swimmer, and also a good cook.

I can't think of any more random facts..

And again, sorry for the drawing's awful quality, it is my first time trying that artsyle TwT I promise I'll get better.

Also, it's almost 2 AM and I should be sleeping long ago. ( ⁠ಥ⁠ ⁠‿⁠ ⁠ಥ )

So as always,

BYE BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And have a good night~!

(or day, idk.)

#tails the fox #he is so silly #miles tails prower #tails the fox fanart #he is so cute #sonic the hedgehog #sth #sth fanart #new artstyle

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funny-upset-clown · 2 months

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Write everyday, and that will be good enough.

I ripped myself from my cycle, from the sheets, the burning candle; cackling, waning, from the pale window side and the brownie pan, from the sulking desk, the blackening curtain that once smelled of turmeric and a spring dawn.

On the bus I felt the eyes and fumes of strangers, I felt winter loosening into its skin, the bus halt, go, halt, twist, accumulating hot air. I did not think of anything, nothing I can remember now, except that one mantra I shall not refuse:

I must become an acquaintance to that which passes through me and circles back, hour to hour, the pang of lost love, the image of love in a person who is now lost totally, or even the sneeze of peace, the forgiving hello of my life's image: multi-florescent and whole.

I cannot get out of my head the fear of what alienation cumulatively does to me. I cannot quite pinpoint the ideal exodus of my isolation. I imagine myself surrounded by church bells, I imagine myself grinning at climax - covered in saliva and sunrays, I imagine the lullaby that is pure curiosity as it butters my nerves with the first phrase of mystery. I imagine myself and a flower alone considering the sound. I imagine falling in love over and over again.

Perhaps I imagine being more open to the sensation of love wherever it may take me.

That is the secret of the time I was once most happy.

To recall that security, is to outline its absence in me now. I breathe in.

Sitting at the cafe where I will be reading poetry in a few weeks. I cannot afford a refill on my tea. The street lamps just turned on and the sky has shifted from a blinding pale gray to a shadowed cerulean that peels my very heart from me and it is just 4:40 in the afternoon. As for the hunger, I don't feel it in my stomach, I feel it in my lips and my spine, now in my nose with the whiff of a stew being boiled in the back. I wrap my thin sweatshirt around my bound torso and adjust my glasses, the window glass gets thinner and my fingers jump over the keys- broken by chill. I consider commuting home, I consider the waiting and shivering. I consider passing groups of friends and lovers seen through restaurant windows, feasting and laughing, I consider the light in eyes that will not look my way. I consider the jealousy and the building starvation. I also consider waiting here, writing here, then reading. Finding a way to resource any warmth, drinking the free water, my right leg crossed over my left swaying weakly and melodiously. Waiting until Coles opens. I wouldn't buy a beer. If I did it would fill me up like a meal and I'd feel warm for a moment. I consider being there, no money in my pocket, nothing to fall back on except the single day bus pass I dropped half of all my money on.

I consider my options.

I could steal again. I'd steal a candle and a hot drink.

I think about A and flinch to my surprise. A song plays that reminds me of when they bought me a bouquet of marigolds from out the car window on my birthday.

I imagine them walking in through the jingling door and feeling okay. I imagine their warm hands falling all around mine

and now the cold is becoming too much to bear.

The sky now looks like an oil spill in ocean waters. The door jingles, the train roars, my nipples get cold, my foot starts shaking faster. I don't need anybody to look at me, no I do not. All of this because I am practically nothing at all, especially as long as I am alive, and this is not to rouse despair.

It is now 5pm, and I will prepare myself to find something new. I just have to gnaw the sting of wind and the blow of hunger.

I am content to have eyes, I will record for this sake, for the sake of writing just to write everyday.

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cyn-onym · 1 year

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GYARU!! (Various!Tokyo Revengers X Gyaru!Reader) Pt. 1

warnings! - this story may contain manga spoilers, mature content, and sensitive themes such as r^p€, su/c¡d€, death, identity issues, toxic relationships (romantic & platonic), and others. the reader is mostly addressed with fem pronouns and is portrayed as black/mixed (Black & Japanese) although it may not be heavily implied or explicitly stated.

Hoshino (Y/N) is a laidback, yet well-mannered girl who has little to no aspirations in life besides shopping, the newest trends, and having fun. Because of how she expresses herself she is what many people call a Gyaru. (This story is also available on Quotev and Wattpad!)

Next Chapter

Third Person POV -

The day started like every other.

School alarm goes off, get up, get dressed, eat breakfast, and go to school. Or at least that was the simplified version.

Hoshino Y/N's mornings were anything but simple. She prioritized her appearance over anything, and no matter the day she was always dressed to impress. Face lightly beat, mascara applied, with a final touch of lip liner and lip gloss.

After all, there was no telling when her future significant other or an agent would appear. She had to be prepared, always ready for the unexpected. 'Should I wear my red pleated skirt or my blue one..both are super cute but which am I feeling more??'

Things such as picking whether to wear thigh highs or leg warmers were the most of the girl's problems.

Although contrary to popular belief the girl didn't have a certain someone to impress but she could always impress the masses.

"Mom, what's for breakfast!??" The girl yelled down the stairs as she struggled with her tie. The girls' mother quickly replied "Eggs on rice, hurry down or you'll be late. I'm not dropping you off if you miss the subway!" Finally fastening her tie the girl decided to look herself over one last time.

The girl's outfit consisted of a short-sleeved uniform shirt with a striped red tie, she also wore a red pleated skirt and white leg warmers. The girls' hair was also decorated in numerous colored barrettes and star-shaped clips. And finally, despite it being summer she wore a pink hoodie wrapped around her waist.

The more time that passed the closer it became to summer break. A time when she could go shopping all day and go to karaoke by night while getting hit on by some weirdos, who would offer to buy her and her friends, snacks or drinks.

After deeming her appearance acceptable she rushed down the stairs to eat breakfast. In the kitchen, her mother, Hoshino Satsuki, stood over the sink washing dishes. Meanwhile, the girl's older sister, Hoshino Manami, sat at the table enjoying her breakfast as she aimlessly scrolled through her phone. Once the girl took a seat at the table she thanked her mother before digging into her meal.

Between her bites she decided to ask "Manami what are you doing here, don't you have school?" The older girl sighed before responding, "I'm only here cause I was bored and wanted breakfast."

The woman washing dishes sucked her teeth causing the youngest girl to snicker. Before Y/N could continue her meal her gaze fell to the stove which read, 8:00 AM. "You should get going Y/N.." the girls' mother prompted.

In response, Y/N finished the last of her food before handing her plate to her mother. In exchange, the older woman gave the girl her bento. Y/N quickly thanked her mother again before rushing to put on her shoes. Like the girl's hair accessories, her shoes were covered in multi-colored pen doodles.

Before exiting the house the girl briefly checked off her necessities in her head. And once she was positive she had everything, she bid goodbye to her family before jogging off to Harajuku Station.

Harajuku was a district bursting with style and trendy hot spots. The streets were filled with an array of different stores, restaurants, and boutiques. However, Y/N found the people the most interesting, because most of them expressed themselves through their fashion. It wouldn't be long before she could fully parade around without being dress coded.

As the girl jogged to the station she placed in her earbuds and began playing her favorite band, 'LILITH GIRL'. The jog to the station wasn't long and was sort of serene. Sometimes when the girl had extra time she would worship her local shrine before heading to school. However, today wasn't one of those days.

After finally reaching the station the girl scanned her subway pass before rushing to the Shibuya platform. As she approached the platform she noticed that the subway had also arrived. As the doors to the subway opened the girl and multiple other people flooded in. However, due to the number of people riding the subway, the girl decided to stand and lean on one of the poles.

To pass the time the girl decided to scroll through her phone. However, it wasn't long before she arrived in Shibuya. As the subway doors opened Y/N quickly drifted out following the crowd of students, workers, and citizens before exiting Shibuya station.

Living on the border where Harajuku and Shibuya meet had its perks. However, her school wasn't one of them. Mizo Middle School sadly wasn't particularly entertaining or significant in her opinion. She would have preferred to attend a school in Harajuku but finances stated otherwise. As Y/N followed her typical route she became more and more surrounded by students. Passing the gate the girl traveled into the school before heading towards her shoe locker.

Although the girl would have preferred to keep on her regular shoes it was school policy and she already knew the results of those actions.

Once the girls' shoes were changed she walked up the stairs leading to the second floor before approaching classroom 3. However, before she could enter her name was called. When she looked over she noticed her group of friends hanging out by a window.

The group consisted of Imai Nozomi, a copper-headed girl with short hair who had a quirk for lying.

Saito Akane, a girl with dark brown hair, a red skunk stripe, and a ponytail, renowned for her temper issues.

And Kaneko Chitose, a long-haired ravenette with a hime-cut who loved gossip and drama.

First Person POV -

"What are we invisible?" Nozomi stated grumpily as I approached them. Akane and Chitose laughed in response to the question. "You guys are anything but invisible, Nozomi. Did anything interesting happen over the weekend?" I asked as I placed my earbuds in my bag.

Chitose was quick to respond, "Nothing to die for but I heard the Soccer club is having a mixer this weekend."

"No way am I going to that, half of them aren't even that cute," Akane stated as she adjusted her hair. Nozomi nodded her head in agreement before adding "I had a fling with their captain about two months ago, he ended up asking me out but I shot him down."

This piqued my interest. "Ya' know you always talk about getting asked out but you never mention going out with them??" I questioned. "Well, ponder no longer because I currently have a boyfriend," Nozomi answered proudly.

This was a surprise to the rest of us but before we could question her further, she continued. "His name's Kiyomasa, he's also a second-year and he's super tall." She boasted. "How tall we talking?" Akane questioned in disbelief. "6'0 ft" Nozomi responded with a smirk.

Chitose and I let out an exaggerated "Wooow" as Akane whistled in response.

However, before we could continue questioning the copper-headed girl, the bell rang prompting us to go to class. We swiftly said our "laters" before separating and going into our classrooms.

Once I was seated it didn't take long for the teacher, Ms. Kubo, to enter. And as soon as she was settled she began taking attendance starting from the letter "A". I decided to use this time to take out any needed supplies. "Hangaki?" a boy with blonde hair anxiously responded to the teacher's call. I stacked my erasers as I waited for her to get to my surname. "Masashi?" To which another boy replied.

She then moved on, "Hoshino?", I briefly responded. After marking me as present Ms. Kubo directed her gaze over to me before stating "Out of uniform again, I see."

I smirked and briefly laughed before responding "Yes, Ms. Kubo." My classmates quietly giggled at the interaction.

A day like every other.

☆ During Y/N's first year, she was dress coded over 20 times in the first semester. Of course, administration tried to contact/urge Mrs. Hoshino to correct her child but she ignored them.

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gaslightgallows · 7 months

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September 2023 Writing Round-Up

I just checked my tags, and I haven't done one of these since… three years ago. Exactly three years ago yesterday (9/29/20), to be precise. Which was pretty much when my mental health and my personal life started to crumble in earnest, and it took my desire to write for public consumption along with it.

Most of what I did for the rest of 2020/2021 were either struggling to finish works in progress (and largely failing) or archiving stuff from my LJ days. I didn't post anything in 2022. I was still writing (a lot) but it was either for Patreon (…fuck, right, I have a Patreon) or it was personal, not meant to be shared.

And then Good Omens came back and ended up being really fucking relevant to my life, and @meldanya44 was there urging me to get back into writing for other people besides her. I think it was a good idea, over all. ♥

So… yeah. Thanks, Good Omens fandom, for reminding me that writing is meant to be shared, and that I am a prompt-based lifeform. (I'll be putting up a new prompt list tomorrow, if anyone wants an artisanally crafted bespoke ficlet of their very own.)

Anyway, here's what I did in September:

Authorial Intent (G, one-shot): Michael’s plan to erase Aziraphale from the Book of Life has certain… flaws. A revision of the final season of S2 Ep6, where the Metatron does not make an appearance. (Actually posted at the end of August but this is my list and it counts. Written very shortly after I finished S2 for the first time. Effervescing with joy.)

Put Out the Stars (T, currently a one-shot, planning to continue): Crowley stole the photo of himself and Aziraphale from the shop a long time ago. (Inspired by one of @fellshish's asks. Angst angst angst… with more to come!)

An Invisible Wound (T, one-shot): “I almost killed you tonight.” “I almost got you killed tonight.” Their first kiss, soft and futile, is in 1941. (Bittersweet canon-compliant 1941 truthers unite.)

After the Rain (T, one-shot; for @meldanya44): The Second Coming has come and gone, and Crowley was calling him ‘angel’ again. (Wonderful quiet post-series fluff.)

Like Petals in a Storm (M, currently a standalone but working on a sequel; for @meldanya44): Between the discorporation and the almost-execution, Aziraphale’s having a bit of trouble keeping body and soul together. (My reputation-mandated 'one partner helps another bathe' fic.)

The Taste of Salt (G, one-shot; for @iamhisgloriouspurpose): The lingering taste of ox ribs are bitter and rich in Aziraphale's mouth, and he isn't sure what he believes anymore. (Continues the 'I'm not taking you to Hell, angel' scene in the Ep2 minisode. Nice and angsty. No one seems to like this one and I'm not sure why.)

Pipe Dream (G, one-shot; for @unwholesome-gay): All Aziraphale has ever wanted is to give heaven back to Crowley. (Domestic fluff about Aziraphale buying the South Downs cottage for Crowley. Fun fact: I struggled to write this and finally posted it in dismay and tried to forget about it. And then my inbox exploded with HEARTS, so I guess it wasn't as bad as I thought.)

The Patience of Angels, Chs 1-4 (M, multi-chapter WIP): An old enemy is on the hunt for the demon known as Crowley, and it will take all the powers of one very protective angel to save him. But in keeping Crowley safe, Aziraphale will uncover more of the terrible truths of Heaven than he ever wanted to know. (The longfic I first conceived of in 2019 and then never got around to finishing enough to post, and am now trying to revise the HELL out of in real-time because the original version doesn't work anymore. I love this fic with a burning passion and hope it finds an audience someday… which it probably will if I can update it, y'know, more often than once a month…)

Fics Posted: 8 Word Count: 28,182

I'm never going to be as prolific as I was when I was in the MCU fandom and had a much less-hectic job, but I'd call that a decent comeback. Thanks, everyone. ♥

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens fandom #good omens fanfiction #good omens fic #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #aziraphale #crowley #prompt fills #monthly round-up #meldanya44

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