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#snk au
chrollohearttags · 5 months
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we don’t talk about plug!eren, who is the perfect gentleman. The one who holds doors open for you, great manners with your folks, best friends with your younger siblings and cousins, your homegirls love him and just an all around good dude. The one who would drive clear across town in the middle of the night to get your favorite snacks, the one who’d hear you stressing and talking about some bill or expense you have and quietly go take care of it. “I already told you, don’t worry ‘bout that, mama. It’s handled.” Or the one who never exposes you to his lifestyle because it’s the last thing his princess needs to concern herself with. He’s so sweet, kind and loving..one would never guess he wouldn’t hesitate to kill a dude who shorted him on his money or supply. Or that just shortly before coming home to you, he probably beat someone unconscious for trying to set him up on a lick. You wouldn’t know a thing..not when he quietly slides into bed, where you’re lying flat on your stomach, in nothing but a t shirt, bonnet and panties, waiting for him to slide them off while he kisses down your spine. Muttering in your ear to just stay still and let him take care of you. “You awake, mama? I missed you..” In the deepest gruff as he delicately touches your skin, appreciating every inch. And you realize just how much he does when he spreads you open from behind, gripping your asscheeks and planking firmly on top you as he feeds you deep, passionate strokes. Slowly drilling you..with those sweet whimpers underneath him. You didn’t even have to move an inch, all he needs you to do is keep moaning and let him claim that beautiful pussy. That spot opening up so nicely after a couple thrusts. His tattooed hand and gold watch placed at the small of your back to keep you pinned down. “Mmm…just like that, baby. You ain’t gotta do shit..daddy got you.”
and he always will take such good care of his girl.
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makimakimi · 1 year
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Me, waiting for the love of my life (my favorite writer) to return home (hasn't updated in months) from the war (school)
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daryemar · 5 months
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Ackerman Family Redesign
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pennylanewrites · 11 months
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sur le fil [levi ackerman x f!reader]
sur le fil; french. just in time.
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table of contents
ch.1: la vie en rose moving to paris, you get to meet a set of interesting neighbours; one talkative, bubbly, exciting and kind. one reserved, serious and tortured. the first will be your guide through life in paris; the latter, you soon find out is your colleague.
ch.2: to vals tou gamou (el valse) your neighbours learn about your secret skills; cooking and painting. the latter causes some disturbance. petra makes a scene and you see what levi is actually like when he’s furious.
ch.3: je sais pas danser (tba june 17) your first real night out in paris is chaotic, for lack of a better noun. hange loves to party and levi and co follow. one of your neighbors helps you in your bed after one too many cosmos.
ch.4: non, je ne regrette rien you don't regret your choices, ever. your gloomy neighbor seems to be rather apologetic however. a certain blond visits the coffee shop.
ch.5: les amants d’un jour the apologetic neighbor seems to be drawn to you. for whatever's worth, he promises it's just for the night. you realize a few things about love and friendship and growth.
ch.6: sur le fil you finally get to see levi drunk and it's a sight for the books. your friend group decides to be teenagers again and play truth or dare. there's a lot of truth and just enough dare.
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enter the taglist with a dm or ask!
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xxiiam · 6 months
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Preview
Chapter one preview
Sonder - college Hockey player Jean Kirstein x college ice skater you
457 words - will be released as a fic on my AO3 - xxiiam
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“Hey toots you’re gonna wanna get off the ice the hockey boys are coming on” hange said , they were the manager of the ice rink . You shook the ice off of the bottom of your skates , “give me like five more minutes I promise hange I’ll be quick” .
Hange shook their head , “toots y’know I cant pick favourites” you clenched barricade , “hange I’m not askin you to pick favourites- I’m uh askin you to watch me practice this trick I really wanna perfect and I’ll be really happy if you give me five minutes to show you it” you beamed . Hange sighed , “go on show me your little fancy dance” .
You were able to sneak your extra five minutes in but then a dozen rowdy boys started to fill up the ice rink , you scoffed . “Well that’s your time tinker bell” hange said tapping the face of their wrist watch .
You balled your fists up and started to skate to one of the exits , “oh- hey y/n!” You heard Marco call out , you turned to look for him . It was hard to spot who was who with their matching uniforms and gear. You saw one of the boys wave at you. Marco . Your face turned from a scowl to a soft smile and you waved back before getting off of the ice.
“Yo Marco who was that?” “Is that your girlfrienddddd” “isn’t she always here?” “Stop fuckin staring”
You didn’t bother to stay to watch , you never really watched the hockey boys play . But you did like Marco , well it was hard not to like him . He was so nice compared to the douche stereotype of a hockey player .
However you didn’t trust his team enough to even bother to acknowledge them . They would probably fall into the stereotype and that is not something you’d want to fall for. Well that was a complete lie you did know one , know is a stretch . You strongly disliked one, also happened to be marco’s best friend , Jean Kirstein . He fell perfectly in line of being the stereotypical hockey jock . Arrogant . Very arrogant .
Plus you had college to look forward to going back for . It was gonna be your second year of college, you managed to scrape by your first year without too much trouble . You had a good couple of friends like Pieck and Niccolo. Not a boyfriend though. You weren’t too bothered anyways .
Skating had always come first to you , but sharing the ice rink with the hockey boys knowing that Jean was on the same rink sharing it with you had a rage settled inside the pit of your stomach. You had met Jean before in middle school , you doubt he would even bat an eyelash at you to remember you . But you remembered him
You remember his stupid short hair that was now a shaggy mullet and you remember his scrawny build that is now tall and muscular . You remember his stupidly long attractive face, but most importantly his arrogant demeanour and cocky personality.
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Tag - @happxme
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levmada · 6 months
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this is going to be so niche
i’m chest deep in my old fnaf phase and listening to the living tombstone and i’m just… with the levi backstory manga still on my mind… based on It’s Been So Long by the living tombstone…
AOT AU in the underground and Levi is just a kid but he’s old enough to be walking around one of the markets. even though he’s gone with her dozens of times, Kuchel has always told him to stay close. and of course Levi brings that to the next level to make her happy so he’s practically clinging to her dress most of the time
as she’s paying another vendor, she has Levi go to the stall right next to it to pick out a watermelon (his ABSOLUTE favorite)
then there’s a massive commotion. no one knows it, but it’s someone swooping in with odm gear and tipping over a massive cart in the process. no matter the danger Kuchel’s top priority is scooping up Levi and running
but he’s gone
he’s gone
the shock grips her. meanwhile, there’s no attack, not even a thief. some people get out of there but most disperse and go back to business as usual (pissed the accident drew a lot of customers off)
it’s not safe to wander around the underground even in a populated market, but Kuchel can’t seem to command her legs to walk her home. she goes to the nearest MP and does whatever she can no matter the cost, even if it costs her her body, to get them to find the monster who kidnapped her son, but in the end that doesn’t get her anywhere
the grief drives her crazy. you can imagine how hopeless and grueling of a life she’s lived in the lawless dark hell she grew up in (with her brother who eventually left her). it’s not a life. she didn’t even know what life was until Levi was born. she’s never seen the sun before, but she suddenly didn’t need to because that was Levi. not just her whole world, or her sun, or her sky. her everything. her angel.
she became resigned to living day to day barely scraping by, barely being able to get food to sustain herself in a place with men who have done nothing but hurt her in many ways. and for the first time in many many years she decides to fight
this is getting long-winded but she starts seeking revenge. she’s been forced to learn how to protect herself before, but what she goes on to do can’t compare. and every single time a lead runs cold or she doesn’t want to go on, she sees Levi’s face in her memories getting further and further away and she refuses to give up.
your sweet little eyes, your little smile is all i remember. those fuzzy memories mess with my temper
it lingers in my mind and the thought keeps on getting bigger. I’m sorry my sweet baby, I wish I’d been there
…i don’t know what happens after that
(but it’s actually Kenny who took him away that day. the king, Uri, became interested in Kenny’s family. his intentions are good. to further make up for Ackerman persecution, he asked Kenny to save Levi at least, because Kuchel had practically disowned Kenny as a brother after their massive argument the last time he saw her, him having wanted Kuchel to get an abortion to spare the child the suffering of living in a cruel world, and there’s nowhere more cruel than the Underground.
he’s confident she would’ve been way too stubborn to be convinced. and of course, Kenny would do whatever Uri asked of him.
…i don’t know what happens after that either, except i imagine it’s a matter of Levi being “gently imprisoned” because no matter if there’s sunlight or food or a clean bed or anything - he doesn’t know what happened to his mom and he just refuses to do anything but isolate himself and rebel against Uri’s kindness until he sees her again.)
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axolott2 · 9 months
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Mikasa & Annie, if you will 🧎
Theyre so so so so pretty I love strong women
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ladylaratybur · 2 months
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Lara Tybur - AoT Cafe
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kaoru-nk · 1 year
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How my OC has changed in thirteen years of her life in snk. AU where some characters have survived.[2] Update after the final.
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crystalclear97 · 7 months
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mirror selfie ✨ (reference pic by gabriel picolo)
I still hate my art but I'll keep sketching and sharing let's goo 🙃
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chrollohearttags · 1 month
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I am salivating at the idea of jock!reiner, who everybody is intimidated by. Not so much because he’s a bully or has a mean streak but his stature. His physique alone is enough to ward off anyone..broad shoulders, six foot four, three hundred and thirty pounds of pure muscle and incredible strength.. but for those who know him, he’s nothing more than a gentle giant. As docile as they come and the sweetest guy you’d ever meet. Some would even describe him as a bit naive or gullible at times. His kindhearted nature, some believed, would be his downfall. Even so, that doesn’t stop the guys he plays football with from watching themselves when they see you come into the room…arm latched onto his as you two navigate through the party his team was hosting that night. A get together for newly recruited first draft picks for the NFL. He was proud to be attending and with the most beautiful woman nonetheless. It was far more laid back, and a pool party nonetheless..so naturally, when you came strutting through the courtyard; white bikini and fishnets covering your decadent skin and curvy frame, a belly button ring glistening from your tummy with your stretch marks on display, curls coiled atop your head, heels strapped around your smooth legs and white toes to match, everyone’s eyes was adverted onto you. As is his. He’s always gushing over his lady and it’s easy to see why. You’re always wearing revealing outfits and dressing provocatively. Titties out, ass always showing and never covering up regardless of the conditions. He never really pays it any mind but it’s not until one day that his friends pose the question: “you don’t have a problem with your girl dressing like that?” And with the widest smirk on his face, your man simply shrugs, and replies just as calmly:
“..not at all.”
mainly because he knows that no matter how many wandering eyes watch you or how many whispers he gets about your appearance…he’s the only one with the honor of getting to strip you out of said ensembles. The only one who gets to grope you from behind with those large hands and circulate his fingers on your clit as he marks your neck with kisses. He’s the one person who can make you come twice in a matter of mere minutes. And he’s certainly the only one with the privilege of getting to glide in between your thighs, bending you over with a hand laced around your throat as your colliding bodies stand before a mirror and his cock thrashing around inside of you..your juices dripping all down his pelvis and shaft as he forces you into an orgasm because the tip of his dick is perfectly stabbing at your sensitive core. “I’m the only one that can make this pussy squirt like this, isn’t that right, baby? The only person who can make you feel this good..” fish hooking those large digits into your mouth as he tugs you back with those plump ass cheeks clapping against him. “Yes daddy, this is your pussy..”
no need to be insecure over what’s rightfully yours <3
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laazyaf · 8 months
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'You're no stranger to me' chapter 2 part 3!!!
Hope you'll like it! <3
Prologue (part 1)
Chapter 1 : part 2 | 3 | 4
Chapter 2 : part 1 | 1.5 | 2 | 3
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its-zur1 · 6 months
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The horses gallop through the newly discovered land. The wind shoots the soldiers right in the face, hitting them with a familiar scent of salt.
They've seen salt before, they know the smell of it, but this is different. The salty aroma is much more stronger, more than they've ever felt before.
And there, they see it. The sea, the giant, never-ending pool of water - the reason they traveled all the way there.
The reason behind so many dedicated hearts.. Now they are finally worth the sacrifice.
They arrive, still on their horses, and stare. It's so beautiful, gorgeous, breathtaking even. And it's real, it isn't any story from an old book full of fairy tales, it's all real, right in front of them.
Connie and Sasha are the first ones to get off of their horses, dragging Jean with them. Slowly, most of the soldiers who've survived get off too and approach it. The kids run around, screaming, giggling, laughing, splashing the water on themselves.
Yet, there are some who are still taken aback by the sight of it. As smart as Erwin may be, his mind can't quite catch up. He's done it, he realises.
A smile, a big one appears on his face, he looks like a child who was just given the finest candy, and Levi sees it. He doesn't think the man has ever looked so happy in front of others. Here, he isn't a commander. Here he is a human, just a person.
Erwin jumps right off of his horse, with Levi copying him. The blonde man then breaks into a run, out of nowhere, just sprinting down to the beach, waving his arms around in pure joy and happiness.
How childish of him, Levi thinks, even though he runs right after him, and they both go straight into the water. Erwin gasps at how cold it is, but they both quickly take their shoes off, walking right into it once again.
The sand under their feet shifts with each step they take, and Erwin can't help but feel even more excited, giggling at it. He watches small fish swim right by his feet. He looks at all the seashells, trying not to step on any.
When the water reaches his ankles, he stops, and turns around, staring right at Levi. His teeth still shine bright at him, and Levi returns the smile. Even if it is a small one, it still says everything it wants to, which is enought for Erwin.
He grabs Levi's hand, and begins walking further into the sea. He stops only when accidentally stepping on a shell, almost falling.
If it wasn't for Levi catching him, he'd be wet from head to toe. Levi's always there when Erwin needs him, and Erwin adores that so much.
They're close now, so close. The feelings, the passion, it's all there. Erwin looks around; the other scouts aren't close, not that they would be paying any attention to their captain or commander anyway, they're too busy playing, having fun.
The blonde picks up a shell, admiring how colorful it is. His sleeve is now wet, but he doesn't mind.
Levi stares at the object in Erwin's hands, at his face, and the way he observes it. Seeing Erwin this happy makes his heart flutter in his chest, makes him feel butterflies in his stomach, as if he was a teenager, falling in love for the first time.
Which he is. Although, he's fallen for Erwin long ago, but it looks like this might just be the right moment to act on it, as it finally feels like the hell they've gone through will get easier.
And perhaps one day, the two of them will get out of the hell completely, settle somewhere where the flames won't reach them. This looks like a good place. The house could be on the hill..
_____
Yes, I'm alive. I apologize for any mistakes.
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xxiiam · 6 months
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Note ~ inbox is very open feel more than welcome to send me requests to write stuff or just talk to me !!!
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I have decided to discontinue my fic Stargirl - it has now been deleted . I am choosing to focus more on writing here and my two fics
All mine - jjk college | basketball players au | choso x reader
And
Sonder - aot college | hockey player jean x ice skater you au
I will be trying to write on here more often probably hcs or drabbles or oneshots . However Star girl will probably be rewritten in the future once I finish all mine and I’m at a good place in sonder .
So fans of Star girl do not worry mousy will return I promise !!! Just the writing was very poor and I didn’t like how the story was going ʅ(◞‿◟)ʃ
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'I Like You': A Night Drive Drabble
Jean Kirstein x reader modern au
Driving home late in the night after a fun day at the beach, Jean and reader are left to explore they're budding feelings for one another as their friends sleep soundly.
Shameless fluff, sickly sweet and smut-free. My first fic posted to tumblr... enjoy! ❤
3k words
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“Why don’t you get some sleep? We have a long way to go.” Jeans eyes darted to the rear view mirror, the rhythmic pulses of streetlamps illuminating their friends in the back seat, spent from a long day of pure infantile fun. Marco reclined, neck bent at an uncomfortable ninety degree angle, weighted down by the dribbling heads of Sasha and Connie on either side. Sand peppered the upholstery and their shins, the scent of the ocean ingrained in the skin, the refreshing breeze entwined in their hair.
Jeans mouth twitched. He returned his gaze to the road. The hue of the yellow lights, she thought, stained the world once familiar in sepia of potential nostalgic suspension. Looking at Jean, the way the warmth of its glow unsettling, unrestrained, yet a blanket cocooning this moment for her, it became a memory to be frightened of. Ahead of them, the car lights guided them forward, refusing the nights to give up its secrets. This night was to be too short once again.
Usually she avoided looking at Jean. If he caught her staring she was fearful he would find out. That when he spoke, when he smiled, when he moved, he was being, that all of these things she was so deeply enraptured by.
In the passenger seat beside him, she did not question how she had found herself so fortunate to be there. She kept her distance as much as she craved his closeness - wanting yet content with his existence.
“I’m all right.” She replied at last, suppressing a sigh of deepest contentment.She was wide awake, even with the cheap beer in her belly, shared as the sun retreated on the horizon, immersing itself in the depths of the ocean, with the dozing trio behind. Either she was fighting off this weariness or she had been left buzzing at the current state of affairs.
Glancing at Jean, his eyes now focused on the road, checking mirrors, moving lanes shifting gears; the ritual that was more than second nature to a guy like him, the certainty was soothing. She could watch his motions all day; his long arms framed him in an impenetrable barrier, when he gripped the steering wheel, the leather groaning beneath his flexing fingers.
One part of her wanted to convince her that once she nodded off he could enjoy the alone time, that he was secretly craving for her absence, even though sleep, that he could think of nothing worse than being left in an exchange with her on what should have been a wonderful day. Yet she wanted to be with him, if only for a little while. She was there. As their friendsslept she was with him. There was no way he could know what that meant.
The sun had penetrated their skin and warmed them through. Now it had set the chill of the night drove the memories’ of the beach further away with its tender grip. Although now, the swaddling of evening time cradled them in the day and all its moments, just as the sun would rise, so would much of the time vanish with it, never lost, simply swallowed into the pulse of the earth, engorged with man’s joys and sorrows.
Her skin had rouged with the hints of burn, yet still she shivered. Pulling her zip up closer around her, her sun dress too thin as remnants of the days rays seeped from each pore. Shins bare, she began to feel the prickle to goose pimples.
Jean fiddled with dials on the dashboard. A gentle stream of warm air tumbled out of the system, angled at her feet, ever so gradually teasing up her legs.
“Is that better?”
She nodded, this time to mask the trembling in her core, the kind that awoke every time he spoke to her.
It was a kind of drunken feeling, being beside Jean; side by side with a boy like him, the giddiness of a strong alcohol in her system, euphoria unmatched. It all felt undeservedly pleasant. Like she was being embraced from all sides, her heart quelled by longing and want, met in some unfamiliar haziness, she felt as though she could imagine what she wanted and it would manifest in her yearning. That she could believe that it was just Jean and she. That for a moment he watched her there, which in the seconds between those moments, in the quiet recess of his mind he thought of her. That not just fate but sheer will had allowed her to be beside him there, because that was how it was supposed to be for them. Divine intervention was redundant. She felt cocooned in a love all of her own fabrication. In those conditions, she could manipulate her own memories.
Better not to know, she thought for the thousandth time. Better not to sour the pocketful of memories she had savored of him, and them. All worth remembering but easily forgotten.
“You know,” Jeans voice was low, gentle; in doing so a rumble so deep in his chest followed, felt in her own like the rumblings of a storm too distant to see, “I don’t think I’ve seen you have so much fun as you did today.”
She didn’t respond.
Nervously, he pushed on, “That’s not to say I think you aren’t fun – of course I do – I just mean that you seemed more relaxed than usual. When Connie threw you into the sea but somehow fell. And you were still standing…”
Connie had held his breath afterwards; let himself float beneath the current. He was such an idiot. In a panic, Jean had tried to flip him over only to be spat at with seawater, a surprise chewed out gum ball and a puzzled cry from Connie.
She had to break up the fight between them. Marco returned from the food stall with ice creams dribbling down his hands, his yells fruitless in results. Sasha filmed it all. And licked the melting snacks when she could.
Jean was still filling the silence, yet she found her own drowned in thought. One he could never comprehend. How could she tell him that her silence was a persecution? A vanishing act of sorts? For when he said what he’d said, it offered affirmation; I see you. What more it could offer was that he liked to see her. She had fun, yes, because he was there, because they all had been together and forgotten everything about the lives they lead outside of those precious hours. They had all proven to one another that one could keep on living each day like that, with the little woes, the bigger sorrows, and still get lost in contentment.
When Jean saw her, what did he see?
“I didn’t want it to end,” She whispered.
Jean shifted gears as they approached a junction. The roads were bare, as though her very words had led the few people aroused by the night to flee in sanctuary.
She found herself sinking into her seat as she continued, “That alone made it sweet, that I didn’t want it to. That it would end made every minute pass with some meaning. Sometimes it felt like I could capture the seconds, hold them in my hand, like sand but softer. Do you know what I mean?”
Back onto the faster roads now, Jean increased speed, smooth as a professional. He rubbed thoughtfully at the fine skin below his eyebrow for moment, “I think I do.”
Sandalwood and patchouli: that was the scent that clung to Jeans clothes, that now as the built-in heaters disturbed the air inside the car, she got to breathe in with such heady clarity.
That scent of him. On the way, that morning, she had been seated in the back, behind him in his drivers spot.
Sasha had complained about carsickness but disproved her claims as she jammed a doughnut into her mouth. Outraged Connie who was squeezed between them both and Marco from the challenging passenger’s seat, battled it out to recover the rest of the snacks. Jeans voice rose in complaints, at first at food spillages, then, through stifled, maniacal laughs, at shoes all over the upholstery and finally, with the authority of a patriarch, threatened to turn the car around when Marco almost kicked him in the face.
All the while, she had laughed, attempting the occasional micro-management here and there mostly she let it all play out. Watching Jean, he had remained so predictably thoughtful throughout.
She had seen the fine hairs that merged with the darker ones at the nape of his neck, clipped but longer. Brushed off his face, it was too long to leave but too short to tie back. It tucked behind his ears and kinked at the back, she searched for the end of the hairs upon his body but she found none as the finest of hairs mingled. Gold seemingly woven in each thread.
Sasha had eaten all of the food. There was never any to begin with. Connie complained until he had forgotten why he had begun and instead turned his attention to the radio. Plugging his music in, he and Marco took turns blaring whatever song they knew half the words to. Jean sang along to the ones he knew, snapping at Marco when he switched to something no one knew at all half-way though a jam.
The rest of the trip, she stared out of the window.
In the compact space the car smelt intoxicating with the blends of aftershave the boys had showered themselves with. Primped and preened rather foolishly for the day at the beach, they outdid both she and Sasha. The car smelt irresistible, a taster station of perfumes. Yet, one she could not place, had never been able to in all the times she had found herself drawnto it. She knew it was the scent of Jean, how could she not? An allure and a repellent, it had always caught her attention. Now she understood its gentle notes, earthy and musky, an incense of calm.
“You smell nice.” She said. The words didn’t tumble out. Although the correlation of thought and voice had been non-existent, had not seemed conceivable, the truth of the words had eradicated any sense of danger in them. Perhaps it was the booze, but the sincerity behind the words meant more. A panic did not rise. Her mind had been expelled.
“Thanks,” Jean said, after another long moment of nothing but the fans of the air-con panted and the whir of tires speeding along the smooth roads, the gentle snores of their friends. She glanced at Jean. He gave so little away, those eyes now darted between the road and the rearview mirror. His jaw was tense, gently gnawing his lower lip. There were tendonsin his thick neck, which flexed as he moved, knotted with the shoulders that had squared with the sharp intake of breath.
She looked away. Now, she began to suspect, a caution seeped insidiously into the space between them. Yet, she could not doubt her words, when doubt was all but breaking down her resolve.
“So do you.” Jeans voice was still a soothing rumble, perhaps less certain than it was. The leather of the steering wheel creaked once again and a shaky intake of breath followed. When he swallowed, his Adams apple bobbed, floundering foolishly, she thought. She liked that too. Liked that it was her words that made that happen. The stubble peppered his chin, and freckles had crept upon his cheeks, encouraged by the sun.
“I like-”she began. His high cheekbone, his deep set narrow eyes often sullen looking in moments of peace, apprehensive in moments of confusion as he was now; it distracted her for a second. “I like your hair. You should never cut it or ever let it grow. It’s just right.”
His lips, though thin, were a shade of peaches that seemed almost obscene. As his teeth grazed delicate skin there, they darkened, even in the low light.
“If you ever shave your head,” his words stumbled, a smile pawed at his resolve and she understood that he was controlling his amusement, “I would consider it a national tragedy.”
She snorted then, an ugly hiccup of a noise.
Jean shushed her, gesturing to the back seat before suppressing his own.
“I like that when you drive we don’t die.” She said.
“I like that when you don’t drive we don’t die.” He said.
“You have a voice that, if I knew otherwise, would tease a potential career on the west end.”
“What does that even mean?” His words were stifled when he pressed a hand to his mouth.
With each attempt at volume moderating, their giggles grew keener until they were improvising gags; hers was the cuff of her jumper.
“When you buy alcohol, you always remind me of an adult, in a good way. You just go and you do it.”
“That’s because none of you guys remember to bring I.D’s. Marco looks way older than me.”
He pondered then, “I like… that when you try to tell a joke, the fact that you’re laughing already makes the joke funny.”
She beamed stupidly. There had never been a time where she could get a punch line out, despite the number of times she had heard the one she wanted to tell, the joke would send her rolling before she could finish it for anyone else. “They’re not funny otherwise?”
Jean shrugged, “Don’t pursue stand-up is all I’m saying.”
“That was what I was going to tell you next!” She bemoaned, as muted as she could manage, amateur dramatics in play as she clutched her head.
His tongue pressed against the inside of his cheek, shaking his head.
With a deep breath, she said, “Your face always makes me feel like… the sun will come up tomorrow.”
The giggling stopped.
She sat up firmer, felt the sleep, the haze escaped her and more so to herself, she murmured,
“And the day after that, and the day after that.”
In this silence, in this world, that was shifting ever so slightly, the dozing trio in the back could not feel the shudders in the earth. The air had grown sparse; all had been suspended in this disjointed night drive. Still far from home, but too close, suddenly as much as all had stopped, time was ticking and soon there would be nothing else.
Where time before had become solid, cherishable, now it was harsh. Gripping her fingers to make the minutes grate on through the timer, she listened for the first hard granules to strike the surface below.
The future lay out before her. She had been waiting for it. That eerie sense of calm had abandoned her and now, in the hidden darkness, beyond the beams of the headlights, in those shadows the future of lost connections, of rejections, of reality on the horizon. The sun would rise tomorrow, would the boy she liked so much be there to bring it?
He wouldn’t look her way, his responsible driving all that proved that he was still there. Not even his fingers twitched and she simply had to look away then. To stare at the road paved ahead, to hope that future she was certain lingered ahead would not rear its ugly head.
“That you were happy today… that made me very happy.” Jean said.
He was beside her. The heat of his body, the sort so detached from any other; the kind of warmth that sent sparks across the skin lingered beside her, that helped her know that he was there and not in her mind. Whenever he had shifted gears, had moved an inch, she could see the space parting to let him through.
It was parting again, as his hand stretched out towards her and prized apart her fingers. They had tangled themselves so well, an attempt to never escape the perpetual loneliness she had become accustomed to. The world, and all its matter, was dividing for them.
When he laced his fingers with hers, when his breath hitched as she held on tight when she knew it was okay, when he simply clung to her too, she felt a collision of something microscopic, and a chasm was filled with the debris of this matter, light with the moon, the stars, the comets and the sun. Reeling, pulsing, living, breathing, peaceful, alive with atoms; they’d connected the dots.
“I’m happy right now.” She sighed, feeling sleepiness weighing her down. A weight was lifted and replaced by a soul-shifting calm.
“So am I.” Jean smiled.
"At freaking last," came a scoff from the back seat. She was ready to fling his hand from her but Jean clung harder.
"Yo, privacy!" Jean hissed as Marco snorted at the little outbreak.
"Not really the place for that, is it?"
Peeking over her shoulder, she saw a coy smile plastered across Marco's face, even as he attempted to loosen up his neck, the dead weights of Connie and Sasha completely undisturbed, his shirt sodden with their drool. He grimaced.
Jean shook his head, pulling her hand closer to his chest, defensively, mumbling about his friend being such a peeper. Marco just grinned at her, rolled his eyes before shifting his phone out of his pocket, a real challenge where Connie had wrapped himself around his lanky body, and swiping through it. It was amazing how he hadn't gone numb. With a squeak, Sasha hiccuped in her sleep.
She squeezed Jeans hand back. He bit back his own glee as he continued to run on about Marco's interruption.
The night would end; even as she began to doze and it came to feel like a dream, Jean was the one to gently shake her awake, caress her cheek with his thumb and smile at her in a new way. One that told her it was real after all.
They would say their goodbyes and forget the days as much as they would remember all the little things. Maybe all would be revealed in the days that followed; maybe patience made space for something gentle and kind to grow anew. For her, the sun did indeed rise the next day…
........
Thanks for reading!
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axolott2 · 10 months
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