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#okay to be fair i started it but apparently i used the wrong bottle and i smeared anti grease all over the windows
coolnonsenseworld · 1 year
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Last piece ❤️💙
There are still leftovers of the Calendar as well as some A5 prints with calendar pieces 💞
linktr.ee/Mezzy (or check my Tumblr for links)
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ftb-writes · 2 years
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It's prompt fill time!
The next prompt is another one of my own design.
The package says they are cherry flavoured, but the cough drop has the same artificial taste as a cherry Twizzler. I never really liked Twizzlers, and my mind is screaming at me to spit the cough drop out, but my allergy-induced bronchitis whispers 'more’.
It's only 8 o'clock, and Ryan is drunk. To be fair, the poor bastard had just gotten dumped by his girl -- cheating on him with his boss, no less -- and then got fired. By the boss Sharon was cheating on him with. He at least has a really strong case for a wrongful termination lawsuit, but he is getting drunk tonight.
Ryan is one of the regulars at the bar, and his favorite spot happened to be the next stool down from my favorite spot. Ryan and I had been old buddies for a few years now, what with our favorite spots putting us next to each other most nights drinking.
I feel bad for him. Ryan is a good guy, and made good money. His only problem was that he wouldn't blow his whole paycheck on his girl who didn't have a job of her own. Smart on his part, really, now.
"Two more for over here, Jim," I tell my favorite bartender, motioning between Ryan and I. "That's bullshit, man," I offered to Ryan. "That lawyer of yours is gonna have a field day, but it's bullshit. Imagine how funny it'll be when your boss's boss fires him for fucking it up so bad and re-hires you, she'll probably come crawling back. And what're you gonna say?"
"Yeah, babe," Ryan slurs sadly.
"No," I order gently. "You're gonna tell her to pound sand. You don't need that shit."
"Dun need that shiii--" Ryan hiccups hard and leans into me. "Jeez, Mike, I'm so friggin glad to have you."
I roll my eyes and pat his back, nodding to Jim. "Yeah buddy, you're damn lucky. Okay, nevermind on the shot for you. I'm gonna have both these and get you home."
"Home's lonely," Ryan slurs. "Why don't I go home with you?"
I choke on the second shot and cough a bit before I hear Ryan snoring. Of course.
I tell Jim I'll see him later and get Ryan into a taxi and tell his snoring ass he's lucky we live in the same building while I the driver the apartment number. The entire drive, Ryan is curled into my side snoring softly. It's cute, and I feel bad for the thought. He doesn't deserve this crap.
I manage to wake him up a bit when we stop, so I'm lucky to not have to drag him up the stairs. I get him into his door, tell him to drink some water and eat something, and head up to my own apartment.
The next morning, I knock on Ryan's door, and he lets me in and thanks me profusely for getting him home and not letting him make too much of an ass of himself.
"I was really drunk. I said a lot of shit I shouldn't have. So thanks."
"Better to say what you need to while you're drunk and have plausible deniability." I hold out the little pill bottle. "Figured you'd want an Advil."
Ryan shakes his head. "I had some. But. Um. Listen, Mike. I want to make an offer. You were right, I'm probably gonna get my job back, or a similar one for the same kinda pay, but I don't… do well, alone. So I wanted to see if you maybe wanted to get a place together. As roomies. You've been my best friend for years now."
I eye him for a moment. He looks a bit embarrassed. "You don't really want to be roommates."
Ryan sags. "I like you. I'm sorry. You were better to me than she ever was, and I just… last night just kind of made it more apparent. But if you only want to be roommates, that's cool. I was gonna test the waters after we'd moved in together."
I set a hand on his arm. "I'm flattered. I am. But… my husband probably wouldn't be too happy."
Mike's eyes get huge. "Oh. Shit. Um. Nevermind then."
"He'd be happier if you moved in with both of us," I continued, and settled closer to him. "Jim."
"The bartender? What about him?"
"That's my husband."
Ryan starts laughing. "Okay. Okay, I guess we're moving in together. Shit. This isn't how I expected this to go. Wow. It's crazy unfair, both of you being so good-looking."
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soulmate-game · 3 years
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Curiosity Killed the Exorcist
“And then, see here? You have to be on the lookout for subtle signs like these. This indicates that he’s…” Marinette nodded as Tim continued explaining, pointing out various body language and other clues out on the Batcomputer. It had only been about six months since the Batfam collectively adopted the little ladybug into their menagerie of heroes, and started teaching her deductive habits and skills. She would not allow them anywhere near Paris on pain of death (some of them had already tried, and Bruce was still recovering from the bruise to his ego. The bruise on his ass from being teleported out of the city and onto the stone of the Batcave was gone, though) but she welcomed any help they could give from within Gotham’s city limits.
Usually, at least in the beginning, they did their mentorship at a distance over video call. But then Tim found out her identity, and Marinette made the excuse of wanting to meet with them in person to gauge their trustworthiness for herself and erase their memories of her identity if they failed her test— and, well, it all snowballed from there until she was teleporting to the Batcave every few days for detective lessons. She was practically a Bat herself, if not for her out of theme codename. And she found herself surprisingly comfortable with the thought of them being a… very eccentric extended family.
Tim was flipping to another saved video in the Batcomputer archives to show another example of his current lesson, when Tikki flew up to Marinette in a hurry. She was holding Kaalki’s glasses. The little kwami whispered something in Marinette’s ear, instantly making the teen blanch and force on the glasses.
“Sorry Timmy, gotta cut this short! I’ll come back tomorrow to make up for it! Okay? Okay! Awesome, you’re the best, bye!” She ignored all of Tim’s protests and rapid fire questions, instead opening up a portal and jumping through it as fast as humanly possible. The portal has barely disappeared before an all-too-familiar voice rose up from behind Tim.
“Maybe I’m still drunk, ‘cause I could’a sworn I just saw a portal closing in the damned Batcave, of all places,” the British-accented drawl was accompanied by the flick of a lighter and accompanying fizzle of a flame. Tim groaned, mentally making a note to ask how in the world Marinette had known that John “Annoying asshole” Constantine was showing up soon, and if he could be in on the warning next time. Bruce, cowl still off, walked over from where he had been sparring with Damian and crossed his arms. He had also heard Marinette’s hasty exit, and made a few mental notes of his own before focusing on the exorcist in front of him.
“What do you want, Constantine?” he grumbled. Any time the blond brit showed up, things only got far more complicated than he ever enjoyed. And he always gave Bruce a migraine, to boot.
“Two things actually, Batsy,” John held up to fingers as his free hand tucked his lighter away in his pocket. His unlit cigarette stayed in his mouth though, probably just for the familiar feel of it. “One; I’m gonna need you to tell me why there was a portal closing when I walked in, because I’ll be honest. The implications there are way more interesting than what I came here for in the first place.”
“None of your business. What’s the second thing?” Bruce immediately shot him down, but John was not one to be deterred. He never fucking was.
“But you hate magic! You make sure I know that all too bloody well every time I pay you a visit, so why the sudden change in heart? Huh?”
“Drop it, Constantine. What. Do you. Want?”
“Fine, fine. I need your help with…”
— * — * — * — * — *
A week later, Marinette was sitting with Jason and Damian in one of the manor’s sitting rooms, the three of them just minding their own business and silently enjoying one another’s presence. Even if two of them would never admit it. Jason was reading Jane Eyre for the millionth time, Damian was leaning against Titus on the ground as he sketched, and Marinette was embroidering a sunhat. Unfortunately for her, Alfred the Cat was currently asleep on her lap and thus holding her hostage.
Even as Tikki flew up to her ear in a panic and whispered, making Marinette prick herself with her needle. She hissed for a second but shrugged off the familiar pain, much more concerned with whatever news Tikki had given her. Damian and Jason were already on high alert from the second that a whispered curse had left her lips, and were staring straight at her and her kwami and Marinette frantically tried to find a way to get up without awakening the cat sleeping on her.
“Uh, what’s wrong?” Jason asked, feeling thoroughly confused and left out. On one hand, he knew that if they were in physical danger she would have moved Alfred the Cat without hesitation. On the other, he did not like the sheer amount of anxiety he could see her experiencing. Marinette’s frantic eyes shot over to him, pupils mere pinpricks and hands mouth agape as she tried to form some sort of plan.
“Uh— “
“Ah! You must be the fair maiden that the Bats are comfortable with using magic around them,” John goddamned Constantine threw the door to the sitting room open wide, making it bounce off of the wall and lightly smack back against his shoulder. He ignored it as he grinned at the three younger people in the room, waltzing in casual as anything. He wagged a finger at her playfully. “I’ve been awfully curious about you, ya know? Brucie boy knows a shit ton of magic users, but he never likes seein’ any of us do our thing. And to not only allow you to teleport without any apparent discomfort but to actively protect your identity from me? Now that’s a damn accomplishment and I really gotta applaud you for it,” he mockingly clapped his hands a few times. “So what’s your secret, huh? I won’t tattle.”
“No thanks. Kaalki, a little help?” Marinette carefully pushed Alfred the Cat off of her lap before diving into the portal that Kaalki whipped up for her, the entire process happening so fast that Constantine couldn’t even get out a proper “hey!” before she was gone and the portal closed. He just nodded, hooking his thumbs in his pockets.
“Ya know what? Fair. That’s fair.”
“Goddamn it, Constantine!” Jason threw up his hands in frustration. “Why the fuck do you have to scare away one of the only sane people in this family?”
“Part of my charm, little red riding hood.”
— * — * — * — * — *
“You know, I’ve been pretty damn nice not teleporting right over to you whenever you disappear. So why don’t you just tell me why you’re avoiding me now that we happen to be in the same room by complete accident, huh?” John asked from where he sat in one of Bruce’s lounge chairs sipping on a beer. Marinette mimed choking him, clearly fed up. He had been trying to have a conversation with her for the past three months, ever since that one time he caught the tail end of her portal closing in the Batcave. Three. Long. Months. And he hadn’t given up, because something about this little Parisian teenager intrigued him. She was sixteen, that much he had gathered from the Bats. But to be sixteen and not only in possession of the Horse miraculous but also clearly the Ladybugs, since he had seen Tikki more than once as well, now that was interesting.
Anybody being in the possession of more than one Miraculous was already cause enough to be keeping an eye on them, which was why he had been keeping an eye on the Paris situation and had pieced together on his own that the presence of Tikki meant that this little parisian teenager was none other than Ladybug herself. Now, that? That was a whole new level of concerning, especially since he knew firsthand that the old Grand Guardian was gone and passed his title down to— yeah, Ladybug.
After that deduction, his interest in Marinette had swiftly switched from curiosity to fuck-I-need-to-know-what’s-going-on-here. Because no kid should have to deal with that kind of weight, and Constantine always looked out for kids when he could.
But right then, Marinette was glaring at him. She had been just coming over for a normal “family” dinner with the Waynes, which she attended from time to time. And apparently they had decided to have Constantine already over so that they could chaperone a meeting between them that would hopefully appease the stupid british magic user enough that he left them all alone again until the next time he needed help.
“Believe me when I say, you’d rather not know,” she replied sharply, glaring Dick. He was the one who had convinced her to come despite her recent close calls with Constantine in the past few days. He studiously avoided her gaze. “I just would rather not cross your path, and there’s no reason for us to interact. Why do you care, anyway?”
“You see, now that is an excellent question!” he chugged the last of his beer and gestured to her with the empty bottle. “Normally, I wouldn’t give a flying rat’s ass. But I’ve put two and two together, since I know who Tikki is,” he nodded to the red and black Kwami. “And maybe I just wanna keep an eye on the new Grand Guardian to make sure she’s doin’ alright. That’s an awful lot of magic and responsibility that you don’t deserve, but I’m not about to try to take it away. Keepin’ an eye on you is the next best thing.”
“Try again,” Marinette shot back, crossing her arms. “You were interested in me before you learned about me being Ladybug.”
“I’m nosy, what do you want me to say? I saw a portal in Batman’s man-cave, I get curious. Sue me.”
“Well. I have Bruce and everyone else already watching out for me, so you can leave me alone now. If I need your help, I’ll make sure to ask every other magic user first before contacting you.”
“Woah, now what’s all this venom for?”
“Uh, maybe we should go and actually eat dinner?” Dick tried to step in, hands up. Constantine had stood up from the chair he was in, which was usually a cue to change the subject as fast as possible. “Before Alfred has to come get us?”
“Maybe I’ll be less venomous if you let the subject drop and leave me alone!”
“Context would be nice, though.”
“Seriously guys, let’s go! Food!” Dick was once again ignored.
“Context is the last thing you need in this situation,” Marinette’s voice was suddenly soft, her arms dropping to her sides. “We’ve had this conversation so many times in so many now-deleted timelines. Just drop it this time.”
“If those timelines are now-deleted, then I obviously don’t remember what’s so bad about telling me why you’re acting like I’m some hated family member you’re avoiding!”
Silence.
Pure. Fucking. Silence. As they all watch with front row seats as Marinette flinches at the word ‘family’.
Pure silence as Constantine’s shoulders drop at the sight of her flinch, realization slapping itself on his face.
“No.”
“See? I fucking knew you would— that this would happen. This always happens, you always hate finding it out, but you’re so— so stubborn!” Marinette was blinking away tears, digging in her pockets and bringing out Kaalki’s glasses. “You’ll drop it now, at least. You always do.”
“Now what is that supposed to mean?” Constantine rubbed his forehead, still trying to sort through his amalgam of emotions. Marinette just shook her head, turning to Kaalki.
“Do you mind showing Monsieur Constantine the way out, Kaalki? I’ll grab you a load of sugar cubes afterward.”
“No, wait, hang on a second!”
A portal opened up under him, making John “Stubborn Idiot” Constantine drop ten feet down onto the hardwood, polished floor of his house. His bruised tailbone would take a while to heal, but his frazzled mind was by far the more concerning development. He staggered to his feet, reaching for the nearest bottle of tequila.
“Ugh, fuck my damn life.”
— * — * — * — * — *
“Marinette..?” Damian nudged the girl with his shoulder, frowning. It was after dinner that same day, and as much as he hated to admit it he had grown to actually like having her around. She was a good friend to have. And seeing her slumped back on one of their sofas, sketchbook covering her face and not a single rambling conversation to be had or heard? It was very concerning. She just made a groaning sound to answer him, prompting his frown to deepen. “Are you alright?”
“I just can’t believe that such a sweet, adorable thing like you is half made up of Constantine’s genes,” Jason mused bluntly from the opposite couch, where he tossed a rubber ball up and down out of boredom. “But now I see where you get all of your Disaster Bi-ness from.”
“Shut uuuuup,” She groaned, chucking her sketchbook at him. He caught it in midair, replacing his rubber ball with it and tossing it up and down in the air. “I’m just frustrated. This timeline is still perfectly stable, so I can’t erase it. And I can’t exactly ask ‘hey, can someone commit a horrid atrocity that makes this timeline split from the main one so that I can erase it and we can start over from four months ago?’ because that would be horribly irresponsible of me. But seriously, Jason. If you’re gonna ever commit, like, city-wise arson? I’d probably condone it right now if only so I have an excuse to use time travel to get out of this situation.”
“Not committing arson unless you give me a better reason for it, Pigtails.”
“Damn.”
“But are you okay?” Damian asked again, seeing as she had completely ignored him.
“I’m fine, Damian,” she finally sighed. “And I know how this is gonna go. He’s going to totally ignore me now, until we meet during some magical crisis and he only interacts with me when necessary. Then he pretends we never met, we have a private little one-sided whisper-argument about how he will never make a good father figure and I would be better off leaving him alone, blah blah blah. Avoidance is a coping mechanism I guess I inherited from him.”
“Guess it’s a good thing I’m trying to bite that in the bud then, eh?” Marinette startled out of her sitting position, seeing John stumble into the room…
Drunk off his ass. But apparently still at least mildly coherent.
“I agree with deleted-me’s, I’m not gonna be a dad. Not me,” he tripped, landing on his still-bruised ass and hissing in pain before continuing from the floor; “So if you’re looking for another Daddy dearest, that ain’t me.”
“See, I knew this is how you’d—”
“Let me finish,” he interrupted. “I don’t know how long the booze is gonna last and I need it’s courage here. ‘Kay? ‘Kay. Where was I? Right. But I know magic, ya know. The kind that doesn’t rely on little bobblehead gods to do. I got— like, a million books. Shit ton of books. At my place. Ya can read ‘em. My books. At my place. But I ain’t gonna parent, but I can lend ya books. Maybe give magic advice. Teach a little. Little bit. Didn’t think I’d have a child, but apparently I do and she’s the fuckin’ grand guardian and a damn hero, and I don’t know how the fuck I was able to help make someone like that. But whatever, it’s not like the world’s ever fuckin’ been easy on me,” He pulled out a sample-sized bottle of whiskey from one of the pockets on the inside of his trench coat and chugged it. After a brief wince and hiss at the burn, he kept rambling. “My door’s open, is what I’m tryin’ to say. No guarantee I’ll be in any state to talk to when you walk through it, but it’s open.”
Deciding to steadfastly ignore the tears streaming down her face, Marinette just swallowed thickly and nodded.
“I, uh. I think I can work with that.”
John barely made it to the nearby bin in time to vomit into it.
— * — * — * — * — *
I hate my imagination sometimes, guys. I started imagining a convo between Mari and Constantine at like 4am and it wouldn't leave me alone until I got it down. but by the time I wrote it, I kinda forgot like 60% of the original convo and just winged it. And this was born. I 100% blame @multifandomscribette because their Bio!dad John Constantine headcannons are amazing and even though this isn't in that universe, those headcannons are exactly what inspired this. So blame them, lol.
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just let me adore you || h. styles
warnings: swearing, kissing, briefly proofread
word count: 2.3k
summary: a holiday in italy involves an unusual amount of shampoo and lusting...
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The villa was somewhat quiet. The sound of solitary piano notes echoed through the halls. Harry’s hair was dishevelled from his heavy night’s sleep prior to the warm morning he found himself emersed in. While his fingers were busy working away at the grand piano, his eyes were preoccupied with following your form around the backyard of the villa. 
You were sat by the pool, your book long forgotten. Your sunglasses were shielding your eyes from the unrelenting Italian sun. Your hair was pinned up, your skin exposed to the heat of the morning. 
Harry’s attention was suddenly pulled away by the sound of your father emerging from the kitchen. “Morning, Haz,” he grinned, clapping Harry on the shoulder. “Any plans for today?”
He shrugged, “Might just, you know, work on some music.”
“A man committed to his career, that’s what I like to see,” your father said. 
Harry nodded awkwardly, offering the older man a quick smile. Once your father disappeared into the lounge, Harry found his eyes wandering back to you. But you’d vanished. Had there not been wet footprints staining the concrete poolside, there would be no trace you’d been there at all. 
Focusing on the lone notes the piano had no trouble emitting became an increasingly difficult task. All he could seem to focus on was you and the obnoxiously loud laughter of your mother and his own in the kitchen. He huffed loudly, pulling his jacket around himself tightly. He clambered up from the piano stool, stalking through to the kitchen to kindly ask if the two women could lower to volume slightly. However, he was soon silenced by the sight of you sat on the countertop of the island, your legs swinging beneath you, a peeled tangerine in your delicate hands. You were smiling slightly as the women couldn’t help but laugh at something Anne had said. 
A bundle of nerves unravelled itself inside of Harry’s stomach when you looked up and locked eyes with him. Your mother and Anne quickly quietened down at Harry’s sudden presence in the doorway. “Morning, darling,” Anne smiled. 
“Morning, Mum,” he replied, breaking his gaze away from your own. “Do you, uh, do you mind if you can keep it down a bit? I’m trying to work.”
“Work?” your mum asked. “Harry, dear, we’re in Italy! Why don’t you wait to work when you get home.”
“I know, but I feel most inspired when I’m away from my house,” he tried to explain. 
“Just take a break, Harry. Relax… you know, unwind,” Anne said softly. 
He sighed, “Okay. Fine. I’m going to shower.”
And with that, he spun on his heel and left the kitchen. You’d been silent throughout the entire exchange, glancing between Harry and your half-eaten tangerine. As you watched him leave, you averted your attention back to your book that was being held open by a mug you’d quickly put down so as not to lose your place.  
Harry found himself running his hands through his dark hair, which was now coated in mango-scented shampoo. He’d just grabbed it off the shelf in the shower, assuming it came as a complimentary luxury with the villa. As the hot water trickled down his body, he allowed his muscles to relax. He knew his mum was right: he needed to separate himself from his music for a few days. But he was only working away tirelessly at the grand piano because it kept his mind off you. If it wasn’t music, it was you. If it wasn’t you, it was music. 
These yearly holidays used to be enjoyable for Harry. Right up until he was fourteen and he realised he liked you. Then they became almost torturous. As soon as he began to see you in this different light, your presence and whereabouts became apparent to his senses. Before, you always seemed to swim in the pool with Gemma or play in her room. He’d occupy himself with your brother by going down to the beach or playing tag in the extensive gardens of the Italian villa. But you suddenly seemed to be everywhere. He’d go down to the beach and there you’d be with your parents or Gemma. He’d be running through the gardens trying to find your brother after an afternoon of hide and seek, and yet he’d discover you reading or gossiping with his sister. All of this, but the summer you didn’t come with your family because you were going away to Scotland with your then-boyfriend instead was utterly dreadful for him.
When he was finished in the shower, he wasted the rest of the day by the pool in hopes you’d venture out with your books and tangerines. But alas, you did not. It was only when the sun was dipping below the horizon did he next lay eyes on you. He was sat at the dining table, his plate before him. You grinned at him, sitting down opposite him. You kept quiet as your parents chatted away mindlessly with Anne, only sharing a brief and quiet conversation with your brother, who you were sat beside. 
Gemma hadn’t come this year, leaving Harry and Anne alone with your family. Anne didn’t seem to have a problem with that at all. After all, she and your mother were such good friends and always had been. You had always been content in your own company. And your brother seemed to spend all his time with your father, something about inheriting the family business. So, Harry had found a companion in the villa’s grand piano, which had now been stripped away from him courtesy of his mother. 
It wasn’t as if you were deliberately being cold to Harry. You actually quite admired him and you knew you always had. And it wasn’t as if you weren’t aware of his eyes following you everywhere you went. But you liked the attention. You wanted to know just what you could do to him. So, when your foot accidentally grazed his leg beneath the table, you didn’t even look at him. After all, it was a mere accident. 
When, at last, your father was finished with his meal, you helped Anne clear away the dishes and your mother as she washed up. While your father and brother ventured through to the lounge to watch a football game, Harry went straight to his room. 
An hour passed and he was too busy on his phone to notice you enter his room. When you cleared your throat, he finally looked up. His eyes were wide like he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t. He hurriedly shut off his phone, blackness overtaking the screen that had once presented your Instagram profile to him. “Oh, hi, Y/N,” he said as you sat yourself down at the foot of his bed. 
“Oh? Didn’t realise you were expecting someone else,” you smirked. 
“No, no, no. I, uh, I wasn’t. I was just surprised to see you,” he said quickly. 
“Right,” you grinned. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”
He watched your face screw up suddenly. You leaned forward towards him, before laughing. “What?” he asked. “What’s funny?”
“Is that my shampoo?” you questioned. 
“Shit. I just thought it was a, you know, freebie. I didn’t realise it was yours. Shit. I wouldn’t have used it if I knew it was yours. Shit. I’m so sorry, Y/N.”
As he rambled, he remembered that the two of you shared the same bathroom. It was between your respective bedrooms, doors leading to both. Of course it was your shampoo. You chuckled at his ramblings, “It’s okay Harry. It’s just shampoo. You can use it whenever.”
“Oh,” he let out a sigh of relief. “Well, for what it’s worth, I thought it smelt wonderful.”
You smiled, “Thanks. I have a pomegranate one in my suitcase that I think you’d love.”
“Really? Why did you bring two shampoos?” he asked. 
You shrugged, “So I have options depending on my mood. Sometimes I’m feeling like a pomegranate, sometimes I’m feeling like a mango.”
He couldn’t help but smile, his eyes wandering up your bare legs that were only sporting a pair of silky shorts. Obviously, this didn’t go unnoticed by you. “The only thing is,” you started, “you’re going to smell like me now.”
He shifted slightly. You smiled to yourself. 
“What if people, you know, get the wrong idea?” you asked innocently. 
He swallowed the lump in his throat, “I guess you’ll just have to use your pomegranate shampoo tomorrow instead, won’t you?”
You leaned back, somewhat satisfied with his answer. His cheeks were flushed and you knew your job for the evening was done. “Fair play, Styles. See you in the morning,” you made a point of touching his shoulder as you left via the shared bathroom. 
The following morning, Harry awoke, finding himself peacefully content for a moment before he recalled the prior night’s events. He was yet to decide if you were actually making a move on him or not. Or perhaps you were genuinely concerned that your families would smell your signature mango scent on Harry and get the wrong impression of the entire thing. 
He dragged himself out of the soft sheets, getting dressed. He listened silently to the running shower. He could hear you humming along to Then He Kissed Me by The Crystals. And after the shower he stopped, he gave it five minutes before going in to brush his teeth. He couldn’t help but look over to see your bottle of pomegranate shampoo making its place beside your mango one. The red bottle was the one soaked in droplets of water, while the yellow bottle remained dry. You’d done as he’d said. In a way, Harry almost wished you’d used the mango shampoo. He almost liked the thought of people thinking he and you had been so close that he’d absorbed your tropical scent. 
As he wandered into the kitchen, preparing himself some toast, he noticed the unusual silence of the villa. It was unnerving. He felt like the protagonists of those books and movies where they wake up and everyone’s gone or been evacuated. It felt apocalyptic. But, as his mind churned out immediate actions to take in this case of an unprecedented apocalypse, you walked into the kitchen just as his toast popped out of the toaster. “Morning,” you smiled, sitting down at one of the island’s stools. 
“Did you sleep okay?” he asked, spreading butter onto the crisp toast. 
You shrugged, “It was alright. You?”
“I slept wonderfully.”
“Good,” you said. 
“Where is everyone?” he asked, sitting down opposite you. 
“They left for the beach,” you explained. “I didn’t want to go and they didn’t want to wait around for you to get out of bed. Anne told me to tell you that if you want to go down, they’re the ones with the pink deckchairs.”
He nodded slowly, “I think I’ll pass. Not a fan of sand.”
“Right? Why do people enjoy playing in minuscule rocks, which end up in your clothes for the next two weeks? Sounds like hell to me,” you said. 
He smiled at your aggravated tone, “Wow, and I thought I hated sand.” 
“You haven’t seen anything yet, pal,” you joked, smiling. 
Before a blanket of silence could fall on top of the two of you, Harry quickly said, “I saw you used the pomegranate shampoo.”
You raised an eyebrow, glancing up at him, “Yeah… I mean, you told me to, right?”
“Right,” he nodded quickly. “Of course. Well, at least we both smell nice now.”
You frowned, “If you say so. Anyway, I’m going for a swim. See you later.”
Harry watched you leave. His eyes roamed your figure with your legs exposed in a pair of shorts. You looked back at him over your shoulder, grinning to yourself at his longing look. He watched through the large kitchen windows as you rid yourself of your shorts and t-shirt, revealing your swimsuit beneath. He tried desperately to peel his gaze away from you as you settled yourself comfortably on one of the sun loungers by the pool. You placed your sunglasses over your eyes, opening your book. 
As soon as he’d finished his toast, he wandered outside. At the sound of his footsteps, you looked up. “Hi, Harry,” you smiled. 
“Hello,” he said softly, sitting down opposite you. You slid your sunglasses up over your head, settling them on your hair. You sat up, never allowing your eyes to leave his. “How can I help you?” you grinned. 
He was fiddling with his fingers, his gaze alternating between them and you. Finally, you reached out and placed your hand over his shaky ones. You stood, pulling him up with you. You were so close. You could hear each other breathing. You could practically hear his heart thumping against his ribs. You reached up to whisper in his ear, “I know you adore me.”
You smirked, allowing him to revel in your confidence. Call it cockiness. Same thing, really. You slowly pulled away from his ear, pressing your lips to the tip of his nose. And yet it was him who finally connected your lips to his own. He didn’t make any effort to pull away either. You smiled into the kiss, burying your fingers in his hair. And when he finally did pull away, he stared down at you, cheeks red, “Depends if you adore me too.”
You grinned, “I do.”
And, with that, he dove back in. You grinned as he wrapped his arms around your waist, picking you up. He lay you down gently on the sun lounger, leaning over you. As you pulled his shirt over his head, he leaned back slightly. “I thought you didn’t want people to get the wrong idea,” he whispered. 
You shrugged, “I guess we’ll just have to see what pomegranate and mango smell like together.”
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authornina · 3 years
Text
Dalonte “DALY” Dennis: (TEK)
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***THIS HAS NOT BEEN THROUGH A TYPICAL EDITING PROCESS; ALL SHORTS ARE ROUGH DRAFTS***
Daly shook his head listening to his sisters go back and forth about dumb shit. It seemed like they always waited until he came around to bring up niggas. He never intruded on their personal lives because he’d instilled enough in them to know what to do and what not to do. He had been on his own with them since he could remember. Daly was only ten years old roaming the streets looking for food to feed them. Life didn’t give him much of a choice to live another way. His mother left everything up to him, so he had to do anything to survive. At first it was just he and TJ, then two more girls came, and his mother literally dropped them off home to him. Daly cared for infants alone being just a baby himself.
They were on their way to the airport to pick up the baby of the three, Erie. She went away to college four years ago and this would be her first time back in Philly since graduating. They visited her a lot, but they were all happy to have her in the same state as them again. He was so proud of Erie for sticking it out and finishing college. At first, she would beg to come home. She even threatened to drop out several times. Daly spoiled Erie the most so during each one of her breakdowns he flew to Atlanta where she attended Spelman to talk her down.
All three of his sisters even being raised by him like straight niggas turned out to be great women despite their foul ass mouths and no-nonsense ass attitudes. People always said how pretty they were until witnessing one of them in action. Daly was a cool brother to have but he sometimes was too hard on himself thinking he could’ve done better with them and their emotions. He didn’t know how to raise children let alone girls but over the years he learned so much about women, more than he actually wanted to know. 
TJ was the oldest and she owned a popular hair salon. She was the wildest and most outspoken. Daly had to bail her out of jail several times, primarily for domestic disputes with her lovers. She was openly bisexual and came out to him when she was sixteen, saying if Daly didn’t accept her for who she was, he could kiss her ass. Of course, no matter what he loved his sister. TJ was five-eight, with tan skin covered by tattoos. She had them everywhere. None of them knew their fathers and Daly assumed she was biracial off her features and TJ didn’t like that. So, the long curly black hair she once had as a girl which made her ambiguity more apparent was shaved off and she chose to wear all types of colorful wigs. She was beautiful either way with her natural hunter green eyes and freckled rosy cheeks. Despite her lifestyle and appearance, TJ went to church a lot. She’d been that way since she was just a child. Always telling Daly she had them all covered on the prayer tip, so they were good. She believed the Lord protected her big brother the many nights he had to go out and do what needed to be done for them. TJ had a huge and loving heart she just didn’t have the patience for bullshit.
Ta’Kia, whom everyone simply called Kia was the calmest when considering the three of them. She didn’t bother anyone unless they bothered her. It was a different story if she knew you though, you wouldn’t be able to shut her ass up. She went to college in state at West Chester where she met her white boyfriend that she stressed out regularly. Kia was also fair skin and four-eleven of feistiness. Daly knew whoever her father was had to be black. She had 4C hair and to him that meant straight nigga. He learned all about the different types of hair black women had over the years. He didn’t assume they couldn’t have loose coils in general, but his sister came from nigga nuts with the shit that sat on top of her head. Kia kept it in all types of natural styles. She was the earthy vegan type. No man-made chemicals could touch her person and she only ate what she grew. She wore very little clothing often, even when it was cold with beads around her waist, lots of rings on her fingers and she had two nose rings and a septum. Daly didn’t know where the hell that aesthetic came from but again, he supported his sisters through whatever.  
Then there was Erieon, Erie for short, Daly’s baby. TJ and Kia didn’t give into her spoiled ass the way he did. If you asked them, their little sister was selfish, stubborn and plain old evil. Erie had a bad attitude, worse than all of three put together and never liked to admit when she was wrong. The only person she didn’t get out the way with was Daly. Erie was the surprise baby and the most beautiful little dark doll he’d ever seen when his mother first dropped her off. He fell in love with her the moment he had to take her on. By then he’d become an expert at caring for infants. Erie stood out because amongst her sisters she shined like chocolate satin. While her sisters rocked baldies and bushes, Erie loved box braids, and any other type of style that hung pass her butt in individuals. Everything about her was gorgeous. She was the most regular physically but personality wise, Daly had a time with that one. Sometimes he thought she had some mental health issues but seeing Lake go through so much and learning what he could, he swore his sister wasn’t that damaged. Couldn’t be. He simply gave her whatever she wanted and hoped it never went further than having temper tantrums.
When Daly was just a child, if it weren’t for Hassan, he and his sisters would be separated and spread out through the system. It was one of the reasons Daly was so loyal to Lake. Hassan made sure they never had to worry about being taken from one another. The house they lived in, he bought it and fixed it up. They had food and clean clothes every day. When his mother would try to come and interrupt the peace they finally had, Hassan made sure she didn’t any longer. Whatever bad shit people had to say about the late Hassan Porter, he and his sisters were blinded by the fact that he was the only adult to give a fuck about them. Even his mother’s sister didn’t offer a helping hand when she knew how they were living. Hassan didn’t ask any questions or want any answers. He saw a problem and fixed it. Never made Daly feel ashamed or embarrassed either.  
Once at the busy airport, they didn’t even have to park to meet Erie inside. She was sitting outside on her luggage with an obvious attitude.
“Here her ass go with the bullshit,” Kia said getting out the car. She hugged her resistant baby sister while Daly kissed her cheek before getting her stuff. TJ didn’t even get out the car because she was the least interested in what had her mean ass mad already. 
“What’s wrong, Erieon?” Daly asked once they were all back in the car. 
“Nothing.” 
“Erie! Stop bein’ a fuckin’ brat!” TJ turned around to her sister who was in the back seat now with her arms crossed and face balled up. “You always do that like somebody supposed to know what you thinkin’.” 
“Leave me alone.” 
“Erie, what’s wrong?” Daly asked her in a gentle tone making TJ and Kia roll their eyes.
“The flight was just annoying. I don’t like being around people.” 
“I’m sure people don’t like being around your evil ass either,” TJ said. “I’ma pray for you on Sunday demon.” She held the cross around her neck then pulled out a little bottle and splashed Erie. 
“Don’t put that saltwater on me!” 
“You need Jesus!” 
“TJ, stop,” Kia laughed. “Stay sprinkling people with your lil holy water.” 
“She think cause she got baptized that she still not going to hell,” Erie said, wiping her face. “Newsflash, you eat pussy, that’s a sin!” 
“Yo!” Daly yelled. “I don’t wanna hear that shit. All y’all shut the fuck up!” 
Why did he say that? All hell broke loose. They started shouting obscenities his way and he blew his breath wishing he went alone to begin with. Daly loved his sisters to absolute death, but they were a damn handful. How anybody dated one was beyond him. Man or woman. 
“Wit your big head ass!” TJ mushed him. “Don’t be talkin’ to us like that!” 
“I’m stayin’ with you TJ,” Erie said. They were the two who got along the least, but her sister was the most freeing to be around and let her do anything. Even though she was going on twenty-three, Kia and Daly treated her like a baby.
“Then you better act like you know, I ain’t for the walkin’ around my shit with no attitude! And I don’t clean up after grown muhfuckas.” 
“Why you don’t want your own shit?” Daly asked.
“Because I don’t wanna be alone,” Erie said low. “TJ lays with me when I need her.” 
“I can lay with you,” Daly said.
“You never be home.”
Erie saying that made Daly feel bad. If he wasn’t there often it’s because he couldn’t be and when he wasn’t, they had to take care of each other. They didn’t intentionally make him feel bad about it, they simply were dealt a shitty hand. No mother and their brother couldn’t be around due to the fact that he was the provider. It all affected each of them in different ways. 
“I lay with you too.” 
“Kia, your bed bout as big as this back seat. Then you like to sleep on the floor,” Erie said, and they all started laughing. 
Daly gave his sisters the range to live much more extravagant, but Kia didn’t want to. She liked her open space loft, mattress on the floor, no curtains, plants from wall to windows, three pairs of shoes and garden full of natural foods. TJ wanted to work for her own money, so she started a business. Erie was the only one who happily ran through his pockets like no tomorrow. He was okay with him being their backup plan if they ever needed or wanted it.
“Says the homeless one,” Kia rolled her eyes.
“By choice,” Erie retorted. 
After Daly took his sisters out then dropped them all off, he stopped at his old apartment. His phone was ringing off the hook and the only calls he returned were Lake, Wreck and Roddy. Mansion called him about fifty times. When those went unanswered, the texts started. 
Mansion: I know you with another bitch, since you wanna ignore me for her. Stay there, and don’t call me ever again with your hoe ass! 
Mansion: Bitch ass nigga! You really wanna cheat on me? And I bet she don’t look like shit! 
Mansion: I was fuckin’ somebody else anyway!
Mansion: I’m gettin’ a abortion!
Daly ignored each one. Mansion would say anything to get him to argue with her. At first it was funny, but now, he was a little tired of the constant back and forth. It was childish but that’s what he got for messing with a twenty-one-year-old. 
“What?” he asked, finally answering for her.
“Put your bitch on the phone.” 
“I ain’t wit no bitch.” 
“Right, you a hoe ass liar! Come get me right now.” 
“Fuck no! Go tell the nigga you was fuckin’ to get your crazy ass.” 
“I was just sayin’ that,” Mansion whined. “I love you.”
“Obviously,” Daly responded sarcastically and they both started laughing. “You gotta chill bro.” 
“My anger just get the best of me, you know I would never step out on you.” 
“I’m not comin’ tonight, I got shit to do.” 
“Like what?” 
“Shit.” 
“You lyin’.” 
“When the fuck do I ever have to lie? If I’ma be with another bitch, I would tell you.” 
“See that’s what I’m talkin’ bout, the disrespect! I’m not about to let you play in my face with no ugly ass hoe!” 
“Who ugly, Mansion?” 
“SHADIA!” she screamed, and Daly hollered. His on again off again girlfriend for years grinded Mansion’s gears. “You need to tell that dog face bitch you love me and it’s over.” 
“I told her that.” 
“Then why she still feel comfortable to go around talkin’ about my nigga? Why THE FUCK is she postin’ you on her Instagram?” 
“I don’t know.” 
“You know because you keep givin’ that hoe hope!” 
“Ion give nobody shit,” Daly looked at his phone beeping. “Hold on, I’ma call you right back.” He didn’t wait for a response to click over for his sister. “Yea TJ?” 
“Come get Erie before I fuck her up!” 
“What she do that damn fast?” 
“I comes the fuck in my room and her ass changin’ shit around in MY HOUSE!”
“You got it ugly in here!” he heard Erie yell in the back. “Everything don’t gotta be green!” 
“DALONTE!” TJ shouted. “Come get your sister! NOW! Jesus be a high ass fence for Erieon…” she started her prayer for forgiveness then Daly heard a bunch of ruckus. He hung up on everybody tired of dealing with women for one day. It wasn’t even five o’clock yet. He got all the bags out of his trunk and went inside the apartment building. 
When he put his key in the door Tracy was standing right there with an attitude. Out of all the bitch fits, he was least interested in hers. He didn’t tell his sisters about their mother staying there and that’s why he moved because it would upset them. TJ mostly. She hated Tracy to no ending. 
“The fuck you standing there for waitin’ like you caught me cheatin’ or something?” 
“Because you leave me in this place, alone! I ain’t got no phone, no communication to the outside world—” 
“Man, fuck outta here,” Daly said, closing the door. “You lucky you got this.”
“I want to see my children, Dalonte!” 
“They don’t wanna see you.” 
Daly’s mother was a rehabilitated crackhead and ex-prostitute. He wouldn’t have offered her a place to stay but she was currently pregnant and had the nerve to tell him she wanted to do right for her baby. 
“Well it ain’t they choice, y’all is muthafuckin’ kids to me! I don’t care what we been through! I am your mother!” 
“You ain’t shit, Tracy.” Daly took all the bags in the kitchen. “Here, all the shit you wanted. Fuckin’ prenatal vitamins,” he threw them at her. “I know your ass ain’t do none of this shit with us! You want my sisters to see this shit?” He started pouring all the stuff out. “You got it in you to finally care about one of your kids.” 
“He is y’all little brother,” Tracy said, palming her stomach with tears in her eyes. Her oldest child hated her so she knew it couldn’t have been any better with the other three but not seeing them for so long hurt her heart. When she came to him, he didn’t even care at first. They owed her nothing and as a mother Tracy wished she could take every ounce of pain she caused them back. 
“I almost said fuck him too,” Daly laughed, and Tracy smiled. Her son loved her; she knew this because he could be really cold when he wanted to be. There had been times she’d been on the other end of it. 
“I’m sorry for putting all of this on you, if I had another option, I would’ve chosen it. I know it’s not easy seeing me like this,” Tracy expressed to her son sincerely. 
“Whatever, I’m out, I gotta go break up a fight between your kids.” 
“Can you at least tell them I miss them?” 
“I’ll think about it.” Daly closed the door in her face. He stood with his back against the door feeling the way he did when he was younger. So many times, she would even watch him struggle with his sisters. Tracy would be home while he was trying to figure out a way to provide for them. Here she was pregnant again with another baby and needed her son all over again. Déjà vu.
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lostinthewiind · 3 years
Text
Forget Me Not: Part 1
Ushijima Wakatoshi, Sawamura Daichi, Bokuto Kōtarō, Oikawa Tōru, Kuroo Tetsurō - Haikyuu
Synopsis: five years after graduating high school, you're invited to Kiyoko and Tanaka's wedding and find yourself back in Japan. Surrounded by your old classmates and volleyball buddies once again, not only are old friendships rekindled, but old feelings start to resurface as well. Did five years change you and your friends too much, or did it change you all just enough?
Rating: PG13
Warnings: none
Next → Part 2
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Being back in Japan filled you with a familiar, comforting feeling that spread throughout your entire body. The country where you had lived most of your life and been educated from kindergarten to high school in brought back childhood memories that you had not thought about in nearly five years.
And now, here you were, attending the wedding of one of your best friends, whom you hadn't seen in way too long, and surrounded by people who shaped your elementary and teenage years.
It wasn't until the reception that you got to actually catch up with your childhood friends, but the ceremony had certainly gotten you thinking. With the beautiful decorations strewn all over the venue and Kiyoko's breathtaking dress—and the way Tanaka teared up after seeing his future wife coming down the aisle—you had begun to wonder, as one who is still single would, if that would ever be you; all dressed to the nines and ready to devote the rest of your life to one person.
The fact that you were deep in thought must have been visible on your face because it wasn't long after that Kiyoko made her way over, gently placing her hand on your shoulder and asking if you were all right.
Startled out of your internal dilemma, you assured her that you were fine and just caught up with your own thoughts. "Sorry," you apologized with a lighthearted chuckle. "I didn't mean to make you worry about me at your wedding."
Taking a seat beside you at the rather empty guest table—more than happy to get off of her feet after Tanaka had been swinging her around the dance floor for hours—Kiyoko sighed contently and brushed off your concern. "Oh, please, make up something if you must." Kiyoko glanced over her shoulder at her new husband, who was currently preoccupied with something Noya was saying to him. "I need a break. If this is any indication of what the rest of my life is going to be like, I'm going to be eternally exhausted."
You laughed, having completely forgotten about what you had been thinking about. "You chose to marry the boy who spent all three years of high school chasing after you and you're surprised that he's over the moon 24/7?" You cocked a brow at her jokingly. "Don't say you weren't warned."
Kiyoko giggled at that and before long you and your best friend were laughing together just like when you were teenagers. It was like nothing had changed; like the two of you had been transported back in time five years.
"In all seriousness though, are you happy?" you asked her as you grabbed for your champagne flute and took a sip. "Because that's all that matters."
A light dusting of pink rose to Kiyoko's cheeks. "I'm ecstatic." She beamed as she looked back at Tanaka again. "I mean . . . that's my husband!"
"Good. I'm happy that you're happy."
Kiyoko nodded in agreement before turning back to you. "So, when is it going to be your turn?"
You thought about asking her what she could possibly be talking about but there was no fooling Kiyoko; she already knew that you knew. Not a week had gone by since you had moved away where she hadn't asked you if you had found yourself a man yet.
You just rolled your eyes. "I would have to be dating someone first in order to start thinking about getting married."
"Okay, so we start at the beginning." Kiyoko started surveying the gorgeous outdoor reception venue as if you didn't already know pretty much everyone who was there.
You scoffed. "I'm sorry, we?"
"You act like I haven't always been invested in your love life." She waved you off, never taking her eyes off of the bustling crowd. "Anyway, back to what I was saying . . . you need someone with a stable career, handsome, and, most importantly, someone that I approve of."
"Yes . . . most importantly." You took another sip of your drink and let your eyes scan the crowd as well, mostly because there wasn't much else for you to do. Eventually, your gaze settled on a table in the back corner where five men sat, engaged in a conversation with one another. It took you a few minutes to make out the face in the dim lighting, but when you did, you were immediately hit with a wave of nostalgia.
There, in a convenient group, as if they had all collectively been waiting for you to spot them, were five of your dearest friends from high school: the captains from the various boys' volleyball teams. Since you had been the captain for the girls' team at one of the rival schools, the six of you had started as acquaintances who bonded over being captains and soon grew into an inseparable friend group. The only person you had been closer to in high school was Kiyoko.
Sawamura Daichi, Ushijima Wakatoshi, Bokuto Kōtarō, Oikawa Tōru, and Kuroo Tetsurō.
They all looked just like how you remembered and yet you couldn't help but notice from afar the ways that they had matured over the past five years. You had been given a brief chance during the ceremony to say hello to them, and during that brief moment, you weren't ashamed to say you would admit they had all grown into handsome young men (not that any of them had been hard on the eyes in high school by any means.)
"Oh, so we're going for the classic 'high school reunion' trope." Kiyoko's face was suddenly right next to yours, startling you once again. "Which one are you looking at?"
Ripping your eyes away from the group of men who had thankfully not noticed your staring, you shook your head. "It's not like that," you sighed.
"Oh, yeah . . . okay." Kiyoko's tone was dripping with sarcasm. "That's fine, you don't have to choose right now. You could probably have whichever one of them you wanted anyway considering they all had a crush on you in high school."
It had been a big mistake to try and take your final gulp of champagne right then. As soon as you had heard what Kiyoko had said, you jolted in surprise and the alcohol went down the wrong way, causing you to begin coughing and sputtering rather loudly and aggressively.
Of course, that was when the five former captains turned to look at you after hearing the commotion. To be fair, a lot of eyes were on you then as you frantically reached for a napkin to dry the champagne that had spurted out of your mouth and Kiyoko patted your back comfortingly.
"Jesus," you managed to choke out. "Warn someone before you say something like that."
Kiyoko grabbed another napkin and began dabbing at the little wet spot on your dress. "You act like you didn't already know."
"I didn't already know."
Kiyoko looked up at you in shock, her hand ceasing all movement. Thankfully, she had pretty much dried your dress completely by then anyway. "What do you mean you didn't know?" she inquired quizzically, almost like she suspected you of lying.
"What do you mean they all had a crush on me?!" You remembered to lower your voice at the last second to avoid screaming such a personal conversation.
"How could you not have known?!" Kiyoko retorted with another question. "It was so obvious!"
"We were all just friends!"
"Just friends?!" A deep voice from behind you interrupted before you or Kiyoko could say another word. "You aren't talking about us, are you?"
You could pick that voice out of a lineup and consequently, your face turned bright red and you swallowed hard. Had he heard what you and Kiyoko had been talking about? How long had he been standing there?
Turning in your chair, you looked up at Kuroo, who was standing behind your chair, and the four other guys standing behind him; all of whom had apparently made their way over after witnessing your struggle with the champagne.
Before you had the chance to work out a suitable answer and attempt to explain away what you and Kiyoko had been discussing, Kiyoko stood from her chair and offered it to Kuroo, motioning for the group to sit down with you at the same time.
"Well, I'll leave you guys so you can all catch up." She smiled wide, throwing you a quick wink when no one else was looking. "I'm sure Tanaka will start searching for me soon anyway. I can only leave his side for so long before he starts causing chaos."
"Looks like the chaos has already started." Oikawa pointed to the head table where Tanaka was pouring liquor straight down Hinata's throat while Noya and Tendou counted the seconds out loud at the top of their lungs.
"Oh, good God." Kiyoko excused herself without another word, rushing across the room to put an end to her husband's antics. The six of you were left chuckling and watching as she snatched the bottle out of his hand and made quick work of reprimanding the men.
Shaking his head, Daichi sat down across from you while the other men took their seats as well. Having been the team captain of Karasuno and on a volleyball team with Tanaka for two years, he knew all too well what it was like to have to keep him in check constantly. "I will never understand how he suckered her into marrying him," he commented.
"Because love." You shrugged. "It makes you do stupid things."
Just then, a waiter came by and placed a fresh glass of champagne in front of each of you. "Ain't that the truth." Kuroo rose his glass and encouraged everyone else to do the same. "To love and other stupid things."
"To love and other stupid things," the remaining five of you repeated before clinking your glasses together and taking a sip of the bubbly alcohol.
Bokuto, who already seemed a little too tipsy for his own good, downed all of his in one go before scooting his chair closer to yours and throwing an arm over your shoulders. "So, tell us, what have you been up to?!" he chirped happily. "We all missed you when you left, you know."
After assuring Bokuto about four or five times that you had missed him as well, you gave the group of eager listeners the short version of what you had been up to since graduation. You explained your boring job and the fact that you played volleyball as often as you could. They asked about other aspects of your life as well, and when the topic of significant others came up, you shyly admitted that you were, indeed, still single.
"Hey, it's not like any of us can judge you for that," Ushijima told you. "None of us have anyone in our lives either."
Oikawa scoffed. "You make it sound like I'm hopeless."
"You are hopeless," Kuroo laughed. "You spent how many years in Brazil and still couldn't find a girl to date you? You moved to Argentina and still nothing. Doesn't that say anything?"
"Leave it to Oikawa to make it all about him," you commented, mindlessly taunting the setter like you used to do all the time when you were younger.
Your jab earned a few amused chuckles from the others and even Oikawa cracked a smile; and just like that, it was like you were back in high school with five of your closest friends, shooting the shit like you always did.
Before you knew it, the six of you were talking, laughing, and drinking the night away. Even Ushijima, who was usually the quiet one of the group, was participating more than you ever remember him doing so. The awkwardness from the first few minutes of interaction and the burning embarrassment of what Kiyoko had told you had melted away so seamlessly that you didn't even notice; suddenly you just found yourself comfortable and feeling rather at home.
Daichi told you about how his job as a cop was going and even shared a few exciting stories—stories that the others had clearly heard many times before if their bored expressions were any indication.
Kuroo talked about his job at the Japan Volleyball Association Sports Promotion Division, which he seemed to be thoroughly enjoying. You were kind of envious of him for managing to stay in the world of volleyball without actually having to keep playing.
Then, of course, Bokuto, Ushijima, and Oikawa discussed what it was like playing for the MSBY Jackals, the Schweiden Alders, and Club Atlético San Juan in Argentina, respectively. Oikawa, much like Daichi had been, was very excited to have someone new to tell his stories to—although his stories were about Argentina and not being a cop.
It made you feel a little sad when you realized just how distant you had grown from your friends and how much of their lives you had missed, but you had to admit that getting to play catch up was extremely entertaining.
After what felt like only twenty minutes or so, but was probably closer to two hours, the reception started winding down and guests started heading home for the night.
Pulled from the happy little bubble the six of you were existing in by the sudden realization that the party had a lot fewer people than you remember, you checked the time and noted that it was rather late.
Daichi, who had been oblivious to the rapidly passing time as well, muttered something about having to work the next day as he reached for his suit jacket that he had draped over the back of his chair at some point and started putting it back on, indicating that he was getting ready to leave.
Bokuto began to pout jokingly and tightened his hold on you, his arm never having left your shoulders the entire time. "You're not going home right away, are you?" he asked you, his wide eyes ready to guilt-trip you into staying longer should he need to. "You're staying in Japan for a while, right?"
"I'll be here for about two weeks or so," you told him, patting his cheek lightly and chuckling when his expression changed on a dime and he smiled wide. "Don't worry, I'm not abandoning you again so soon."
"Then we will have to get together for dinner or drinks or something," Kuroo suggested as he too stood from his seat. "Have you changed your number since high school?"
You shook her head. "Nope, it should be the same one you all have."
"Excellent!" Oikawa cheered. "I've got to head back to Argentina in a week or so as well so we definitely have to get together soon. I have first dibs!"
"Y/N is a person, not the last piece of food," Ushijima huffed. "You can't call dibs."
Oikawa just scoffed. "Sure I can, Toshi. I just did."
"I told you not to call me that."
The two professional volleyball players glared at one another and you wondered how it was possible that they stayed friends for so long, let alone became friends in the first place, considering they were always at each other's throats.
"Okay, you two, don't make me escort one or both of you home in a cop car tonight," Daichi warned. "I'm not in the mood to babysit."
"If I promise to behave, will you promise to use your handcuffs?" Oikawa winked, earning a few hushed chuckles and an obviously disappointed look from Daichi.
"Well, that's my cue to call it a night," Daichi announced as he made his way over to you and pressed a quick kiss to your cheek. "It was lovely seeing you again. I'll call you and we can do dinner sometime, yeah?"
You smiled and nodded. "I'd love to."
With that, Daichi took his leave and the others were soon to follow. Bokuto, who was the last to leave your side, had somehow swindled you into promising to play a volleyball game with him at some point before he bid you goodnight as well and left you to collect your thoughts before catching a cab and heading back to your hotel room.
On your way out, you thanked Kiyoko for inviting you and congratulated her and Tanaka on their marriage. They too insisted on getting together with you once more before you left and you happily agreed, already dreading having to leave your friends again.
As you climbed into your cab that evening, drunker than you had been in a long while and filled to the brim with joyous memories and content feelings after being reunited with so many old friends, you couldn't help but linger on one thought in particular . . .
The fact that all of your former captain friends had grown into handsome men with stable jobs, they were all single, and the startling new discovery that they apparently all had crushes on you in high school.
Did they still feel the same way? Or, more importantly, did you feel the same way?
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professorspork · 3 years
Note
If you're accepting non-superhell prompts, I'd love to see a conversation between Nora and Emerald! I've been REALLY loving these microfics, I've subscribed to you on Ao3, I'll read whatever else you write
[Gahhh that’s so nice you’re so nice!! thanks for being patient on this one, finding my Nora took some doing]
It’s occurring to Emerald that she’s never had a close female friend before.
You say that like you’ve ever had any friends before, the voice in her head that sounds suspiciously like Mercury needles her, but she brushes it aside. Like—okay, yeah, she’ll concede the point when it comes to Cinder. In hindsight, whatever they’d had going on between them may have been... super intense... but it probably had never been friendship, in the usual definition. But she and Mercury were friends, no matter what the judgy little shitstain version of him who lives in her head has to say about it. They’d always gotten along. Told each other stuff. It’s not like there’s more to it than that, right?
It had always been like that. Been—instinctive somehow, with guys. Before Cinder, on the street, it was always the men who’d been easiest to manipulate; who would empty their pockets for a smile and a sob story. And then she and Merc had been two sides of the same coin for so long, and then... well, Hazel’d liked her enough to die for her, apparently. (Which—that’s a door that she keeps closed, thanks. She shuts it firmly again, now.) Oscar seems fond of her, in a sweet, uncomplicated sort of way that she really doesn’t know what to do with, seeing as he shares headspace with like a trillion year old man and the idea that anything to do with that kid could be “uncomplicated” is batshit. Ren vouched for her once, and then again, and now he keeps doing it, like it’s habit, like she should just be used to the fact that people are going to have her back, to ask her if she’s eaten, to turn to her with a raised eyebrow in conversation like her opinion would be constructive.
Anyway.
Now that she’s noticed the pattern, it seems like the kind of thing she should probably… work on, or whatever. And Nora seems like an obvious place for Emerald to start. They’ve been thrown in together a lot, lately, Emerald and Oscar expected to fill in the gaps of what’s left of the old JNPR by default. Not that they’ve ever really had a conversation about it—Emerald can’t think of the last time Nora said two words to her that weren’t combat warnings like “more Grimm coming” or “on your left,” but. That’s probably just because things have been tense. She remembers Nora being friendly, on the whole of it. Off-puttingly friendly, even, back at Beacon.
How hard could it be?
The answer, it turns out, is absurdly hard. Nora’s barely ever in the temporary barracks they’re all living out of, instead always checking on the refugees, going on supply runs over esoteric requests, volunteering for extra patrols. Emerald used to find that kind of dogged do-goodery gag-inducing, but now that she’s been the helping hand herself a few times, she’s starting to see the appeal. The way people look at you when you’ve been of service, it’s—nice. Really nice. But Nora works utterly thankless jobs, the kind most people don’t even notice, let alone appreciate. And when they have their insufferably long leadership meetings and they’re talking about distribution of resources or whatever, Nora’s a fierce debater—jumping in to advocate for the people from Mantle sometimes even before May can. As far as Emerald can tell, she does this stuff just because... she believes in it. Because it’s the right thing to do, and someone has to.
She can’t imagine what it would feel like, to have the attention of someone like that turned on her. She’s craved it from the wrong people for so long, but now that she has her pick of options... she’s letting herself actually want the right kind, for once. She thinks.
Which is all to say that largely through no fault of her own, Emerald unexpectedly finds herself sitting with a profound, fervent desire for Nora Valkyrie to think she’s cool.
She hates that.
-
Fighting with Nora is easy.
(—er. Alongside. Fighting alongside Nora is easy. Emerald’s done fighting with these people. Very done.)
It’s weird, because Emerald’s finding working with a full team to be a real adjustment. When battles get big enough to merit it, she’s used to keeping to the sidelines to use her Semblance for nefarious purposes, or, in a jam, used to having Mercury’s six—literally, because all the forward momentum from his feet-first style always left his back wide open. Figuring out where to put herself so that Oscar can use her shoulder as a fulcrum as he dodges, or trying to aim for the Grimm Ren isn’t already shooting (ugh)—it’s taking work.
But somehow, it’s not work for Nora. Nora seems to anticipate with perfect ease how Emerald will move or what she’ll be doing; Nora bobs and weaves around their ragtag little band with her war hammer like it’s breathing.
It doesn’t bother Emerald until it does, and she means to bring it up casually but there’s never a good time. So it just… stews, and stews, until she can’t keep it bottled up anymore.
Which means that instead of the earnest question she intends it to be, it comes out like this:
“Okay, seriously? It’s creepy how you do that.”
It’s just the two of them, plus the handful of dweeby Atlesian tech-types they’re escorting back from their foray installing some fancy hydro-filtration modules on the outskirts of the camp. And it’s not like Emerald had felt outmatched by the half-dozen Ravagers that had decided they looked like lunch—she can shoot Ravagers in her sleep, at this point—but still. The way Nora had moved around her, it was like they’d been fighting side by side for years.
Nora just cocks her head to the side. “Do what?” she asks, like she hadn’t just basically read Emerald’s mind in front of the water nerds.
Emerald does a complicated gesture with her hands, wrist over wrist, and then flicking two fingers—trying to evoke the way Nora had flipped over Emerald’s back and then kicked off, just trusting Emerald would reel her back in with a chain in midair before a Grimm could fly away with her sorry ass. “That.”
“Oh!” Nora laughs and rubs at the back of her neck, looking sheepish. “It’s nothing. I guess it’s just not a big deal for me? Like—I was there when Ren built StormFlower. The cables are newish, but we practiced so much back in Atlas… I dunno. It’s just reflex, when your weapons are so similar. Fighting with you, it’s almost like fighting with him. I don’t even have to think about it.”
Nora swallows, then, and makes a face Emerald can’t interpret—disappointed, maybe, or ashamed. Which: good. She probably should be, taking things for granted like that.
“Well—just—” Emerald’s not even sure what she wants to say. Ask, next time? Don’t? “You shouldn’t make assumptions. I’m not your boyfriend, okay?”
The venom she puts behind the word is directed more at herself than Nora—frustrated, again, that she’s put herself in the position of wanting so desperately to be liked.
Pathetic.
Nora just nods, looking glum.
“Yeah,” she murmurs, cheeks pulling in a bitter smile. “You’d think I’d be able to keep that one straight, huh?”
She says it with such pointed irony that for a second Emerald wonders if she’d gotten it wrong somehow, but like—Nora and Ren are a thing, right? That’s—everyone knows that.
“Hey, what—?”
“Let’s just go,” Nora says, and Emerald automatically falls into line behind her.
They make the rest of the walk back in silence.
-
Sometimes at night, when she can’t sleep, Emerald likes to climb up to the roof of the barracks and look out over the refugee camp.
It’s—peaceful, is all. A good reminder of where she is; how far she’s come. The night sky in Vacuo has more stars than she’s ever seen, and being able to watch over all these people who have somehow become her responsibility… well.
A part of her will always be standing on the rooftop at Beacon, looking down on pure chaos as a queasy, frightened sensation twists in her gut and its noxious voice whispers you did this, you did this, you did this. What did you think was going to happen, you stupid little girl? You don’t get to feel sorry for it now.
But she does.
Weird how the only thing that’s helped is actually doing something about it.
She hears a scuffling noise over her shoulder, and she’s got Thief’s Respite drawn and ready before she can even really register what she’s heard. She relaxes when she sees it’s Nora at the other end of the barrels, unarmed and hands raised—a funny little smile on her face, like yeah, fair enough, I should have known better than to try and sneak up.
“Just me,” she says, unnecessarily.
Emerald holsters her guns. “Can I help you?” she asks, and—what is it about her voice, that makes sentences that would be nice if any other human said them come out straight-up hostile?
Nora shrugs, hands dropping to her sides. “I was hoping we could talk; I figured you’d come up here if I waited long enough.”
Well, see—what kind of lesson is she supposed to take from that? She’s been hoping for Nora to talk to her for weeks, and acting like a bitch is the thing that gets her what she wants? Good guys are supposed to know better.
And there’s the way she said it, too. Like everyone knows Emerald comes up here to brood; like it’s a big open secret. The knowledge sits uncomfortably in her stomach, makes her feel watched. Even now, even here, she can’t get a moment alone. Not really.
“What, so you’re spying on me now?”
Nora’s eyes narrow. “I have a pretty bad track record when it comes to losing people. Makes a girl want to put in a little hustle when it comes to keeping tabs on her friends.”
And Emerald would snark at that, or maybe apologize, or something, only—
Nora thinks they’re friends?
“Well, take a seat, I guess,” she mumbles, scooching to the side as though she needs to make room on the massive, empty roof.
Nora walks over and joins Emerald on the asphalt, letting her legs dangle over the edge. Seemingly unsure of where to start, she stares at her hands. Emerald stares too, but her eyes can’t help but wander—tracing the way scars, silvery in the moonlight, spiderweb up Nora’s bare wrists and forearms to fetter her shoulders, clavicle, neck. Like cracks in a pane of glass, right before it shatters.
(Only that’s not it at all, is it? It’s not a sign of weakness, but a warning of strength. I care this much, her scars announce to the word. You wanna try me?
Hazel’s arms always looked like that.)
Emerald doesn’t want to be the one to break the silence, sure that whatever she’d say would be incredibly stupid.
Luckily, Nora has no such qualms, and opens with: “I really admire you, you know?”
Emerald stares, jaw slack, certain she’s heard wrong. “I—what?” She’d say something defensive, like yeah right or you don’t have to make fun of me, only Nora’s eyes are so wide and so guileless they don’t leave any room for argument.
“I mean it,” Nora adds. “I know we don’t know all that much about each other, but… here’s what I do know: I can’t remember a time I saw you without Mercury right behind. Just like me’n Ren. And the way you fought for Cinder…” Nora smiles a sad, private little smile. “You don’t fight like that unless it’s personal; unless someone means something to you. Just like me’n Ren. And now you’re here. All on your own. And you didn’t have to be. That’s—don’t you think that’s crazy brave? I sure do.”
Of course she fucking doesn’t. Crazy brave would have been walking away the first, tenth, hundredth time she had a flash of panic about what she was doing. Or, better yet, doing something about it. Crazy brave is taking thirty thousand volts to get to your friends; it’s flooding your veins with pure crystalline power and saying Go, I’m doing what Gretchen would have done, it’s—
She closes that door.
“It’s not like I really had a choice,” she sighs, dodging the question.
“Oh, you know that’s not true,” Nora scoffs dismissively, tilting sideways to nudge Emerald with her shoulder.
And Emerald jolts, because—look, it’s not like no one touches her. They have to manhandle each other all the time in battle, and… and Oscar gives her high fives sometimes, which makes her embarrassingly pleased. But what Nora’s offering now, that kind of buddy-buddy casual contact…
… it’s been a while, is all.
“So, why did you want to talk to me?” Emerald asks, overwhelmed and suddenly desperate to find a way to get this conversation over with. She feels like she’s sprinted five miles; like she’s had the crap kicked out of her and she has to go somewhere to lick her wounds. Too much, too fast.
Nora laughs—a chuffing, cynical noise that doesn’t sound at all like her. “Looking for pointers? See, I’m trying this thing where I do things on my own, but I just—I suck at it. Like today; you saw. Even when I’m not with Ren, all I do is… is act exactly the same way I do when I’m with Ren. Like I literally don’t know how to exist without him, whether he’s actually there or not. And I know that’s not fair to anyone; I didn’t mean to treat you like—” She shakes her head, biting her lip. “You’re not just some stand-in. It’s not you at all. I’m just—broken, or something. One trick pony.”
“No, hey—”
“But you figured it out,” she barrels on, which is good, because Emerald doesn’t actually have a clue what she would have said there. “You don’t have anyone and somehow you’re just, like—good to go!” Nora says it cheerily, like it’s a compliment, but has the grace to balk a little when she hears how it sounds. “…sorry. That’s—sorry.”
Emerald shrugs, drawing her knees to her chest and resting her chin there. She feels like an idiot; building it up for weeks like spending time with Nora would solve all her problems when, surprise surprise, Nora’s just as fucked up as she is.
“Hate to disappoint you, but I don’t have any hot tips,” she mutters into the crooks of her elbows. “I don’t have a clue what I’m doing. Like—you want to know the really sad part? I was just following your lead.”
“My…?” Nora can’t even finish repeating it, which: Emerald can’t blame her. It’s so dumb. “Huh?”
“Come on. You know.”
“I don’t,” Nora says, voice thick with exhaustion. Like she’s sick of herself. “Ask anyone—I’m not the brains of the operation.”
Hearing Nora talk about herself that way makes Emerald’s chest feel tight; like her ribs have locked in place so her lungs can’t expand. She doesn’t know how to explain it; not without sounding like a starry-eyed fangirl or a moron with a crush and that’s not what this—it’s only that—
She chooses to start a different way.
“You wanna know why I switched sides? Like, really why?”
Nora softens, and reaches out to touch the back of Emerald’s left hand, where it dangles over her knee. “Sure,” she says, but Emerald barely hears it; it’s taking all of her concentration not to clench her fist or pull away in response.
“I overheard Oscar—or, Ozpin, I guess, I don’t know—talking to Hazel about Salem, about her goals. And… listen. No one joins under Salem because they’re trying to kill the world, okay? I mean, no one but Tyrian, anyway. We were all just trying to… find ways to get by. And when Cinder found me, she—” Emerald swallows, hard. This cuts too deep, too close. It’s not something she can just say. “I wasn’t trying to be some big villain, or something. I was just—looking out for the people who were looking out for me. And why wouldn’t I? No one else ever seemed to think I was worth it.”
“Of course you are,” Nora cuts in, quiet but vehement. “Everyone is.”
“See, the worst part is that you mean that when you say it,” Emerald grumbles, scrubbing at her face until smears of color kaleidoscope behind her closed eyes. “I figured people like you didn’t exist, and then Cinder and Merc were glad to prove me right, and—I let them. You know? And maybe if I’d just held out a little longer…”
“You’re not the only one here who’s ashamed of her past. Harriet tried to blow up Mantle, like, a month ago.”
“That’s not—forget that. I’m talking about you. Nora.” It’s the first time she’s ever said her name like that—addressing her, in conversation. It feels… astonishingly intimate, for so small a thing. Emerald powers past it. “Every day, I see you do something ridiculous, like double back on a patrol because you forgot you promised some kid a candy bar, or something, and that—matters. To me. It’s so stupid, but it’s not, because… argh! I want—it’s—” She tries to get her mouth to form the words, that’s the kind of person I want to be, but they stop in her throat.
Still, Nora seems to get the message. Her eyes seem suspiciously shiny for a moment—but when she blinks, it’s gone. “I… thank you.”
“Don’t mention it,” Emerald grumbles. Saying it like she means it: seriously. Don’t mention it.
“I understand what you mean, though. For years, the only person who looked out for me was Ren. And if he’d said…” Nora trails off, then, cocking her head to the side as she works through something. “Huh.”
“What?”
“Nothing, just. I remembered something. I was about to say that if Ren told me the only way for us to get by was a life of crime, or something, I would’ve taken his word for it, but—the opposite happened. We decided to enroll at Beacon. And that wasn’t his idea; it was mine. I always wanted to be a Huntress. To… to be the one strong enough to help people, instead of always needing the help. He wasn’t sure if we would make it, but I was. We were together, right? How could we lose?” She chuckles, a little, shaking her head at herself. “Get a load of that. He followed me.”
They smile at each other, then. Like they’ve figured out something profound. Maybe Nora has; Emerald hopes so.
“I’m glad you’re here, Emerald,” Nora says, and—there it is again. The frisson of electricity that comes with being referred to by name.
Of course, then Emerald ruins it by blurting out:
“Of course you are, all your other friends are dead.”
Which—“Fuck!” she sputters, because she didn’t mean to say that. What is wrong with her? “Sorry! Sorry.”
Nora only grins at her, feral and incisive. “Yeah, well. Yours are evil, so. Pick your poison. At least I’m proud of mine.”
Touché.
“Still glad I’m here?” Emerald jeers, because her first instinct is still to press on the bruise to see how much it hurts.
Nora laughs, and gets to her feet. “Believe it or not, yes. If putting your foot in your mouth was all it took to get booted from Hero Club, I’d have been kicked out a long time ago.” She reaches down to offer Emerald a hand; Emerald takes it, letting Nora pull her to standing. “Now go and get some rest, huh? None of us can ever sleep when you’re up here thinking so loud.”
“That an order?”
“Advice. Friends give it, from time to time.”
And—yeah. Maybe they do. 
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wizkiddx · 3 years
Note
hiiiii i love your stuff - could u do one where the readers ill but they have stuff to do and tom has to look after her. maybe if they were just friends before too but both pining? thankuuuuuuuuu
should I be writing this instead of revising? clearly fucking not. Did I make this little blurb req ridiculously long purely to procrastinate? Of fucking course.
but also this was v cute! I assumed u meant famous!reader, sorry if that's not what u were after at all anon x
summary: Tom Holland turns into the readers knight in shining armour when they get ill during promo
warnings: fainting / feeling ill
///////////////////
It couldn’t be today. Of all days, why today? You’d been at home for two weeks doing absolutely nothing, before this trip. And yet it’s when your itinerary is packed to the brim, people moving heaven and earth just speak to you. Two weeks of unrelenting press for Marvels next big ensemble movie. 
Your manager was speaking to you, reeling off a run down of todays activities but instead of listening you nodded along blankly - head rather cloudy with this heavy mist that was not shaking off, no matter how hard you tried. 
“You got that Y/n/n?” Lucy pointedly spoke, eyes almost physically knocking you backwards as if her eyeliner was battery rams. Fumbling with your thoughts, your answer wasn’t particularly cohesive earning you just a disappointed head shake. 
“I um… yeh I think. Who-who did you say I was paired up with?” 
“Y/n please for the love of god. Tom, like I said the past fifty times.” And to be fair to Lucy she wasn’t wrong. It was the first major major promo tour for the both of you and after just two days so far - you were both exhausted. She was more than allowed to be a bit short tempered. 
“But we-we hardly know each other? The chemistry won’t be there and-“
“As I said, I tried to re-jig it but Kevin is of the mind that acting is your job.” Her tone was sharp but as she glared across the opposing seats, in the little mini van Marvel had hired for you as transportation, her eyes softened. Lucy had been so wrapped up in her own stress she may have overlooked quite how gingerly you were sitting. By the time she had arrived at the hotel, your stylist had already managed to half save your ghoulish looking face, with sunken under eyes and tired skin, so it wasn’t so blatantly obvious how crap you were feeling.  “Is everything okay with you?” 
It felt pretty puny to say that the jet lag from flying to Tokyo had been weighing you down further than you wanted, or that the local cuisine top chefs had kindly prepared for you last night wasn’t siting well in your stomach. To be honest, even you thought it was just your body being a bit overdramatic. So in response, you put on your best happy-go-lucky face feigning a smile.
“No no I’m fine, just want to give the best interviews I can and you know…. I’m awkward as hell as it is, then pair me with the most talented actor that I share about two minutes of screen time with…it’ll be interesting.” 
The way Lucy reacted with a weird slow nod, eyebrows furrowed, meant it was quite apparent you had perhaps overplayed that one. Had you not been so over the day before it even began, you would’ve tried again to give a more believable act. But as you were, you turned your attention back out to the bustling streets of Tokyo and the high rise buildings bordering each pavement. 
You didnt have a problem with Tom, far from it in fact. Tom was hilarious and the times you had met him, you’d both built up this weird and sarcastic competitiveness with each other. It was a game of who could get the last laugh, each of you pushing each other with the Mickey taking just a little further. Of course, not in a malicious way, just the way you’d both lived pretty similar but parallel careers - when everyone drew comparisons between the both of you, it was nice to make it a joke. 
Like Tom you’d also started out on stage, had a ‘big break’ movie as a kid and then spent your teenage years on and off film sets - till marvel happened. Then everything blew up to epic proportions, changing your life forever. Actually, it was so similar to Tom’s story, plus the fact you were also from the south west of the UK. It was bizarre your paths hadn’t crossed more - He probably could’ve been a useful ally in the the whole ‘becoming famous’ thing. 
And yet, you could probably count on two hands the amount of conversations you’d had with him. 
Now that, that was the issue. Right from the beginning you learn what the press want and when you are publicising a movie you cater into it too. They’d all be asking for the insider scoop on set; what pranks you’d pulled on each other; what was the most annoying thing about each other. Which is hard if you’d only had 5 or 6 days actually on set together. 
By the time the cab had wormed its way through the Tokyo traffic and you arrived at the PR hotel, it was already 9:30 - making you 15 minutes late (blame it on the traffic). Instantly then you were ushered straight to the interview room for the evening, no chance of green room chat or grabbing a drink before. The place was stuffy, everything was draped with black curtains except the poster board that Tom was already sitting infront of. 
He’d scrubbed up well, no doubt about it. He was wearing statement-ish burgundy suit trousers, teamed with a black knitted but collared shirt thing - that was clearly tailor made for the man. As soon as he noticed you scurry into the room, his face broke out into a warm smile, jumping up to greet you in a friendly hug. It was brief, and as you pulled back you accidentally bumped your head on one of the overhanging lights. No doubt someone had spent a ridiculous amount of time configuring them so they were positioned perfectly, which you had just ruined with your big head. 
“Oh shit!” Tom just laughed in response, shaking his head slightly as he lead you the two steps across to your pre-positioned seats. 
“Making an entrance as always I see!”
“Yeh, you know me, a bit of chaos just to keep everyone on their toes.”
“Oh is that why you’re ‘fashionably late’” With a playful wiggle of his eyebrows, you just rolled your eyes, fidgeting on the chair to find a position that didnt aggravate  your stomach so much.
“I’m ready now though! What did I miss? Just having to pretend to be your friend for 15 minutes?” You stressed the words as though the thought of conversation with Tom was the absolute worst thing in the world - which you definetly didnt think. Scowling like you’d insulted his dog Tessa, it was almost visible how the cogs were turning in his head looking for a comeback. Unfortunately for him though, he was quickly shut up but the organiser bringing the first interviewer in . 
For what would, no doubt, be a long day. 
////
Everything had started off so well, the banter was flowing between you and Tom, no major spoilers revealed that meant Marvel would have to make the journalist disappear. It was once you hit an hour of back-to-back interviews that everything started to crack bit. Because yes, it had only been an hour but that was enough to exhaust you on this particular day. When Tom joked around you got slower and slower, similarly the  energy was zapped from your own answers. It’s not very compelling when someone says ‘you have to watch this movie’ in a monotonous voice with sullen eyes. 
As the interviewers were swapping in and out, Tom actually lightly nudged your shoulder.
“Everything alright? We’re trying to sell tickets and you’ve got a face like thunder.”
“Oh no-no sorry I just, I-um.”
“You want some water?” Now looking at your with more concerned eyes, as if he was just nervous he’d actually offended you for calling you a boring bastard. And you would’ve picked up on it and alleviated his concerns, if it weren’t for the fact your eyes were glued on the water bottle he was holding out to you. You were thirsty. You knew that, that wasn’t the conundrum. What you weren’t so sure about was whether your stomach would accept it, or more violently reject it. In a very non ‘we’re-trying-to-sell-a-movie’ style. 
But the lightheaded fogginess in your brain won out, as you nodded jerkily, taking the bottle and taking a little swig - too cautious to take anymore. 
Now concerned with how Tom thought you were being a Debby-downer too, you managed to perk yourself up for the next four interviews. They were easy, asking questions without any activity and though you did rely on Tom beefing out and adding to your answers, it was okay. Then the next interviewer came in, who you recognised as being from the BBC, Ali Plumb, that had interviewed you a number of times. From the way Tom jumped up to give him afirendly bro-hug, you guessed he also was familiar with him. As soon as he took a seat the cameras were already flashing with the red light, demonstrating his 7 minutes had already started. 
“Guys! It’s been a while.” 
“How are you Ali?” You started it off with the pleasantries, Tom echoing, before the speccy dirty-blonde asked his first question. 
“So the last time I spoke to you guys the universe was in chaos, Peter Parkers on the run and Aurora Blake was trying to strip her own powers, so I guess my first question is how are you both doing? We can use this as a therapy session if you guys need.” His very typical nerdy joke made Tom laugh, nodding as he leaned forward and repositioned a bit. 
You didn’t share the same humour though, more focused on this invisible blanket of stuffiness that seemed to have been thrown on top of you. It made you feel groggy, incredibly hot and so unbelievable nauseous. The lights weren’t helping either, it felt like you were pouring with sweat from your forehead. You thought Tom was answering Ali, even if you couldn’t really hear  - everything had merged into a deafening roar. Adrenaline coursed through your veins, unconsciously making you fumble yourself to standing, desperate to get somewhere with fresh air. The last thing you saw before your vision tunnelled into darkness was Tom, reaching out to try and catch you. 
Because next thing you knew, you were on the floor, wires from all the cameras and lights digging into your back as you looked up to see Tom on one side and Lucy on the other - both wearing a similarly panicked expression. You knew you hadn’t been out long, seconds if that, going by the fact everyone else was in the ‘oh my god’ phase of panic. It was a bit weird how calm you where, but then again all your life you’d been the ‘class fainter’. Waking up on the floor was something you were long since used to. 
“Y/n? You awake?” Rather stating the obvious Tom asked the question as you bent your head up - allowing you sight of all the concerned facing oggling you. With a defeated sigh, you flopped your head back. 
“If this is a dream then it’s a real bloody nightmare.” This time Tom didnt seem to appreciate your joke, looking at you without almost dumbfounded eyes, as you blinked repetitively and groaned. 
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Lucy appeared to want to lecture you, which to be honest wasn’t the most time appropriate. You were still on the floor, legs crumpled up under you, so ignored her. Instead you pulled yourself up into a sitting position, taking a moment to blink away the blotchy haze that threatened to takeover your vision once again, whilst the pair above you both cautiously rested their palms on each of your shoulders -trying to be useful. The room still felt cramped and stifling, as everyone around were no doubt looking at you. 
It took a few minutes but your body seemed to get over itself, sitting up normally and trying to make small talk with Ali - who, by the way, was still sat awkwardly in the chair. Still nestled on the floor, your back up against the chair you had been siting on as you raved with Ali of the Harry Potter theatre show. In a natural lull in conversation, Tom perked up - from the door where he’d been muttering with the organiser as Lucy bit her nails nervously. 
“Y/n you need to go home.” 
All of you knew what Tom said was impossible. Not being egotistical, but you were too important. Although you hadn’t been paying masses of attention for Lucy’s run down of your itinerary - you knew it was packed. 
So you just looked up and rolled your eyes at Tom, earning yourself a strong glare, before locking the organiser in eye contact.
“How many have we got till lunch?” 
“Um this gent here” He gesturned toward Ali, who was almost squirming in his seat now “then two more.”  
“And then lunch?” 
“Yes, then you have a personal appearance at a dinner, so transport will be coming to pick you both up.” This poor guy seemed obsessed with the clock and his timetable, looking at your with a mixture of panic and frustration. You should know this stuff, you should’ve listened to Lucy. 
“How fars the drive?” 
“At this time probably an hour and a half.” 
The plan was clear in your head, you’d sort yourself out in the car and be fully fine by the afternoon and evening engagements. Plus you felt almost fine now. So with a sigh, you hauled yourself up onto the chair, patting for Tom to sit back down. 
“It’s half an hour and then I’ll sort myself out at lunch - come on their waiting.” The way Lucy pouted showed she disagreed somewhat, except a stern look kept her from protesting, as Tom walked toward you. 
“Are you sure you don’t loo-“
“Let me stop you before you insult my appearance.” Snickering slightly at his worried face, you laughed it off , knocking his side with a gentle murmur of ‘don’t worry about me’. 
In fact after that little episode you did feel a little recovered, which meant you were properly noticing the change in the boy sat next to you. Throughout the remaining three interviews he’d done a complete 360 from earlier. Rather than trying to get little digs at you, he had become fiercely protective - jumping in if a questions wasn’t particularly appropriate or relevant to the movie ( meaning when an awfully crap man asked what underwear you’d been able to wear in your suit) ; taking the heat of the conversation as well as just watching you like a hawk. Each time you answered his beady brown eyes were watching you from the side, you got the impression it wasn’t only just because of the risk of spoilers. 
Quite remarkably, you survived the rest of the day pretty well, after a power nap in the car on the way over - even if it was a bit difficult when you had your manager watching you like a hawk from the seat across. It was as if Lucy had never seen anyone ill before, she seemed concerned that you were going to spontaneously stop breathing and die at any point. 
Though by the time all the official business at the dinner was done, your body and willpower had reached the end of their tether. You and Tom were both on a round table, surrounded by 6 CEOs and execs of what seemed to be a multimillion pound business enterprise. With the language barrier meaning you had to speak through the two people on the table who were fluent in both japanese and English, the conversation was already pretty jilted. Though to be fair, the six did seem to be enjoying the evening - something you werent able to reciprocate. Thankfully, five minutes after the main course dishes had been collected, Tom spoke up from his position opposite you.
“This has been lovely and we really appreciate your time and generosity but me and Y/n have a really early start tomorrow so I think we should probably get back to the hotel.” You swore in that moment you could’ve kissed him, and it looked like Tom could tell - by the way your shoulders sagged and you let out an exhale of pure relief. Apparently even if you’d managed to convince the hosts you were enjoying the evening, Tom easily saw through the performance. After some hurried goodbyes, Tom led you out of the hall with his hand hovering over your lowerback, trying to make sure your exit was as discreet as possible. 
Away from the bubble of chatter and activity, in the deserted hallway, Tom stopped you - lightly holding both hands on each of your arms. 
“Wheres your team?” 
“Um Luce is back at the hotel, she was trying to see if she could reschedule any of my stuff tomorrow.” You winced at the way he sighed, realising you were all on your own in some random business event hall in Tokyo.
“Harry -my brother- is waiting in the car at the front - is that okay?”
“No Tom, don’t worry abo-“
“Yeh well I am and I think you feel ten times worse than you’re letting on.” He spoke harshly, like a school teacher telling you off - except the hint of a kind smile at the end was a dead giveaway. 
“You sure?” 
With a relieved nod (Tom had thought you might be a bit more stubborn - you obviously were really really ill) he wordlessly shrugged his suit jacket off, wrapping it round your shoulders. He muttered something about not wanting you to catch a chill but to be quite honest you were a bit distracted by the woody cedar smell of Toms aftershave that enveloped your senses. Maybe it wasn’t so bad being fussed on by him? To be fair he wasn’t wrong either, you were in a strapless evening dress - you would’ve preferred to be in joggers, but Marvels press team had other ideas. 
After a quick pit stop at the toilets, the two of you managed to make an unnoticed escape out the building - into a big SUV which had seconds prior pulled up onto the steps. You literally melted into the nearest window seat, body hunching over as you probably crumpled Tom’s jacket beyond belief. 2 seats along from you, a frizzy haired boy gave you a sympathetic smile, which you returned weakly whilst muttering a ‘hi’. Meanwhile, Tom pulled the sliding door shut, sitting across from you. 
“Oh Y/n this is Harry and Harry this is Y/n.” In unison both of you replied with an ‘I know’ eye roll. Your response was somewhat more shocking to both Holland boys, you could tell from the way they had this whole nonverbal conversation with their eyes - they were very clearly brothers. Needing to explain you continued. “I like to keep tabs on my castmates, I’ve seen you on Toms instagram.” That had both boys smirking, Harry presumably just because you knew who he was; Tom more smugly, you’d just given away you slightly stalked him on instagram. 
Silence reigned for a moment, as the driver put his foot down slightly. 
“How you doing?” Tom asked. 
“Mhm…” you thought for a second, how to eloquently describe the sensation. 
“shit.” 
Both boys chuckled a little and even though you had closed your eyes in an attempt to dull the throbbing behind your temples, you could feel the eyes on you. 
“You want the music off?” Harry asked, referring to the indie-rock coming quietly out the speakers of his laptop, which was resting on his lap. With a shake of your head you refused, even if really silence probably would help your head, you were already causing the two Hollands enough trouble - no need to bore them during the journey back into central Tokyo, especially when you weren’t the most enthusiastic company ever. 
Thankfully the music stayed on a low volume, whilst the car seemed to settle into a comfortable silence. With a long exhale you fluttered your eyes open, seeing Tom focused on his phone, before you rested the side of your head against the black-out glass. Taking some relief from the cool glass, you huddled further into the corner of the car against the door.
Floating in the space between sleep and wakefulness, you were kind of aware of your head occasionally bobbing and jerking about - but really didn’t have the energy or willpower to do anything about it. Instead, the thing that perked your attention was hearing some supposed-whispering from inside the body of the car.
“I know she said she didn’t care but she was clearly lying-“ 
“Like you know! You’ve been desperate to try and spend some time with Y/n- maybe you poisoned her just so you could be all knight-in-shini-“
“Turn. The. Music. Off.” Tom sounded scathing now, and with a grumble from your other-side the cheery drum beats ceased.
“Happy now?” …and Harry was sarcastic. 
“Swap places with me.”
“What?”
“Just do it.”
“Why?”
“So she can lie down.” 
“Well no because you would still be in the way if we swapped.”
“Yeh but she can lie on my lap idiot.”
“She can lie on me.”
“She doesn’t know you!”
“Well for 1, barely ten minutes ago she said she did know me. And 2, she doesn’t know you any better!”
If this was their version of whispering, you would love to hear what volume ‘shouting’ was. There was no reply for a short while, you imagined the two brunettes locked in some intense staring match.The next time Tom spoke he sounded more defeated - almost begging. 
“If I admit you beat me at the driving range the other day will you-” 
“I KNEW IT!” Harry yelped, the volume making you jerk, eyes flying open before reflexively closing because the light was too bright. There was a little mutter of an apology, then silence again. 
Once agin you must’ve drifted off because it felt like absolutely no time had passed when a firm but gently hand on your shoulder nudged you awake. 
Sure enough the boys had swapped position, Tom now sitting along the seat from you, Harry looked a little sulky from across the way. It was Tom who was reaching over, a gentle and peaceful smile on his face.
“You wanna lie down? Don’t want you to strain your neck.” He wasn’t wrong, adding to the throbbing headache, the cloudiness in your brain and the unsettled feeling in your stomach… now your neck hurt. Just bloody great. 
Had you been your normal witty and perceptive self, you might’ve teased Tom as to why him and his brother had done a switch - but everything hurt and all you wanted to do was sleep for a hundered years. So with squinting eyes you jerkily nodded, missing how Tom chuckled to himself. The guy undid your seatbelt, then sat back to let you balance the back of your head on his thigh, looking up at the roof of the SUV. Already your eyes were closed again, you kicked off your slip-on heels and bent your legs up to lean against the backrest - occupying the position you had been sat in before hand. You felt his hands reposition the jacket, pulling it round so it was now like a blanket tucked under your chin. 
To be fair it was much more comfortable than sitting up and you weren’t even aware of how quickly you dropped back into sleep. 
Though it wasn’t quick enough to miss Harry’s very sulky sounding comment, presumably meant only for Tom’s ears. 
“Still think you’re being fucking creepy bro.” 
<33 lemme know what u think! (would make me feel less guilty for not doing all the work I rlly should be doing aha)
tagging : @hallecarey1 @crossyourpeter @hollandfanficlove
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lipstickstainz · 3 years
Text
true lies - s. r. (9/15)
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader
Series Summary: Spencer is furious, when you rejoin the team after a year and after you left him, when he got arrested. Little does he know, that you leaving him was the only option to ever get him out of prison.
Chapter Summary: Spencer and you talk about your friendship.
Warnings: angst, alcohol consumption
Word Count: 2.4k
A/N: this is angsty and I’m so sorry! hope you enjoy! gif not mine.
Series Masterlist
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previous part
“Have you read that book I brought you the other day?", Spencer asks as you get off the elevator together in the morning.
You nod. "I started it, but I haven't finished it completely yet. But it's really well written and, above all, very exciting", you answer him, giving him a smile, which he happily returns.
"Another book of his was made into a movie last year. We could watch the movie together sometime, if you like", he suggests as he holds the glass door open for you, like a gentleman, so you can go through first.
"I'd love to, actually."
You are - apart from Emily, of course - the first of the team to arrive today, but you don't mind. You both leave your bags at your desks before heading to the kitchen for your morning coffee. While Spencer fills the cups, you find the sugar and milk before adding both to his coffee in prodigious amounts. Your grips are rehearsed, because lately it's become routine for you to get your coffee together, and it feels good to stand so close to him and feel his warmth through your clothes, which you don't let on, of course. But being friends with him is so easy, so simple, you can't help but enjoy it.
Spencer playfully nudges you with his elbow as you put the sugar back. Before you can nudge back, you hear Emily call out. "Y/N? Will you come into my office for a minute, please?" She stands at the railing and her gaze darts from you to Spencer before she turns and disappears again. You nod, though she's already gone, before smiling once more at Spencer and walking up the few stairs. When you enter the office, Emily is already sitting behind her desk, quickly closing a file that says "top secret" on it, which gives you pause, but you don't address her on it.
"What's up?", you ask her as you close the door behind you.
Her expression is composed. "We need to talk."
You sit down on the chair in front of her table, coffee in both hands. As far as you know, you haven't done anything wrong, which is why you're a little unsure what Emily wants to talk to you about and where this conversation should lead. But you don't have time to think about it, because she gets straight to the point.
"I'm really happy for you that Spencer and you are getting close again", she says, clasping her hands on the table in front of her. Your gaze drifts to her kneading fingers, and something tells you this isn't a conversation between friends.
"But?"
She smiles weakly. "Do you think it's the right thing to do?"
You raise an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
Emily sighs. "While I think this friendship is good for both of you, or whatever this is between you, I also think it's not fair to him."
"Not fair?" you inquire, even though you know exactly what she's getting at. Emily nods.
"After all, your current friendship is based on a lie, Y/N. You told him you didn't love him, and apparently he believes you. But what if something more develops between you? Are you willing to keep lying to him and pretending you didn't make the deal?"
You'd love to get up and leave, but Emily's gaze has softened, and it tells you she's worried not only about Spencer, but about you, too. "I know exactly what I'm getting into. I made the deal, after all."
"I'm aware of that, and I'm not trying to force anything on you, Y/N. And certainly not trying to change your mind. I just want you to think hard about where this friendship can take you. And how far you're willing to go for it." She gets up from her chair and circles the table until she stops in front of you.
You have to swallow hard. "We've got him, Emily. It's all right." Your voice trembles, because you know full well that Emily is right. It's not fair to Spencer. None of this is fair to him at all. You lower your eyes and look into your cup of coffee as if it holds all the answers. "What do you want me to do, Emily? I love him." It's been ages since you've said it out loud, afraid that something bad might happen, but it just bursts out of you, lifting a weight off your shoulders that you didn't know was weighing you down. As you look at Emily, a tear runs down your cheek.
Carefully, Emily takes the cup from your hands and sets it down on the table before pulling you from the chair and hugging you tightly."This is up to you, Y/N.  Just know that I'm always by your side. No matter what you decide."
-
"You're the absolute best", you grin at David as he hands you a glass of whiskey. He winks at you before dropping onto the lounger next to you. You carefully sip your drink, and the cool whiskey is a pleasant contrast to the weather, though it burns a little on the finish.
It's unseasonably warm for this time of year, which has enticed much of the team to storm Rossi's mansion on a Saturday off, enjoying its large garden, cold drinks, and the pleasant waters of the swimming pool. While Emily, David and you occupy the loungers by the pool and the sun warms your skin, Tara and Spencer sit on the terrace playing chess. You try to tune them out, concentrating on the chirping of the birds and the pleasant breeze - if it ever comes - but in between you hear Tara swearing and have to grin. No one wins against Spencer at chess. No matter how many times you try.
"Thanks for putting up with us", Emily grins at David, pushing her sunglasses down her nose a little before leaning over and looking over you in his direction. "And for the drinks, of course. I don't think anyone else here can afford booze that expensive." She holds her glass out to you and you clink yours, resulting in a nice sound.
"I invited you to enjoy the nice weather with me", David begins, taking a sip of his drink. "Not for you to drink all my good stuff." His complaint is feigned, as he can't help but smile. Emily leans back and has to grin as well.
The sun beats down on you relentlessly, and you're glad you slathered on sunscreen beforehand. In fact, it's so warm that you unceremoniously pull your shirt over your head to let more air get to your hot skin. The movement draws Emily's attention back to you and again she pushes her glasses down a little.
"Nice bikini. Is that new?"
You shake your head. "Bought it ages ago, but never had the time or opportunity to put it on." You grin at her. "Unfortunately, when you have to work around the clock, you don't have the free time for some things."
"I already took the hint," she replies with a smile, sipping her drink before giving you another look. It lands on bare skin just below your bikini top. "I didn't know you could speak French."
"I can't." You feel the alcohol burning in your throat as you drink every last drop of the whiskey. Both Emily and David look at you uncertainly, but say nothing in response. They also say nothing as you try to avoid the conversation by getting up from your seat with the glass in your hand. You pretend not to notice the looks they exchange among themselves. "You guys want anything else?" They both shake their heads, and Emily watches you as you slip on your shoes and disappear toward the house, where the bottle of whiskey is waiting for you.
As you walk past Tara and Spencer, you feel his gaze on you. "Are you okay?", he asks. You raise your empty glass and nod at him.
"Just need to fill it up", you reply and walk past them into the house without turning around.
You find the bottle in the kitchen on the counter. You pour yourself a little into your empty glass before closing the bottle and putting it back.You let the glass swirl in your hand, watching the liquid circulate inside before taking a hearty swig.
Actually, you don't want to be here. You didn't have any particular plans for today, but being around Spencer hadn't been on your to-do list at all.
Actually, you didn't want to be here. You didn't have any particular plan for Saturday, but being around Spencer hadn't been on your to-do list at all.You'd actually been avoiding him lately, hoping he wouldn't notice, but he's a good profiler.  So you're not surprised when he enters the kitchen and stands on the other side of the kitchen island. Right in your field of vision.
"You shouldn't drink so much if you're going to stay out in the sun all day." You don't lift your eyes from your glass, but feel his on you. Without looking at him, you raise an eyebrow. "Alcohol causes blood vessels to dilate, which can lead to circulatory problems and unconsciousness", he continues to explain, letting his fingers dance across the cool marble slab.
"Good to know", you reply, taking another sip. Spencer puckers his mouth into a thin line, which doesn't escape your notice, but you don't want to ask either. You've resolved to spend as little time with him as possible, and asking him drunk if everything is okay with him would be a pretty bad start.
"Are you okay?", he finally asks you, you nod slowly even though it's anything but the truth. It hurts to have him so close, and to have to keep yourself away from him. To want to, you correct yourself in your mind. "I don't believe you."
You smile weakly at him. "That's not my problem." You're about to leave the kitchen, but he grabs your arm and holds you tight. "What are you doing, Spencer? Let go of me."
"Not until you tell me what's going on." As he swallows, you see his Adam's apple bounce. "That's what friends are for, Y/N."
You suppress a laugh. "This was a really bad idea."
"What?"
It's now or never. You gather all your courage and point to the space between you with your free hand. "This. The friends thing." Your gaze lingers on the spot where his long fingers curl around your arm. You feel his warmth on your skin, almost burning into your flesh, and you want most to snatch your arm from him and flee, but his grip is firm.
"Why would it be a bad idea?" As you meet his gaze, there's something in it, but you can't put your finger on what exactly.
"You shouldn't want to be friends with me, Spencer."
"And why not? Because you broke my heart?" Though his hand comes away from your arm, his voice and cool and determined.
You exhale deeply. "I think we need more time, more distance from each other, to make it work."
Something collapses in Spencer's face and you have to look away. "I've had a year. I don't need more time, or more distance. We were good friends then, Y/N. Why can't we be now?"
You blink away the tears in your eyes before looking at him again, hoping he doesn't notice them. "There's been too much going on, Spencer. I don't think this friendship is going to move us forward. Or do you any good. You shouldn't want to be friends with the woman who left you at the altar. You should want me to go away and never come back, not to spend the day with me like nothing happened." You realize you're talking yourself into a frenzy, but you can't stop.
"I have. For a whole year, and I don't want that anymore. I don't want to feel this anymore. I don't want to feel that way anymore. I want to be friends with you so I can be done with it." He doesn't wipe away the tear that has crept down his cheek. As he continues to speak, his voice breaks. "I want to be friends with you so I don't have to love you anymore." When you don't say anything, he runs his hand through his hair. "I don't want to love you anymore, Y/N, because that's what's not good for me. Because I lie awake at night wishing you were lying next to me. I don't want that anymore."
Spencer's words hit you so unexpectedly that they knock the air out of your lungs. You don't know if it's them or the whiskey making you feel like you're going to throw up, but you pull yourself together. You don't want him to know how much it hurts you. You'd like to answer him, but you don't know what either, which is why you stay silent and just look at him.
"I can't hate you because it's eating me up.And I don't want to love you because it's destroying me. The only middle ground I can think of is for us to be friends, and I thought you'd want that too."
"Spencer," you begin, your voice barely louder than a whisper. "It's not right. And you know it." Before all the dams really burst on you, you push past him. You're careful not to touch each other, because you couldn't bear it.
"If you care so little for me," he calls after you, and you stop without turning around. "Why did you get that saying tattooed in my handwriting?"
Tears run down your cheeks, and you leave without looking back.
next part
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raineydays411 · 3 years
Text
The best of friends pt3
Peter Parker x Stark!reader
Summary: So it turns out that you do have other friends. Who would’ve guessed? 
A/n: Hello! So.. because i don’t feel like writing the whole fight scene, the events of homecoming already happened before the actual dance and Liz is moving after the school year ends.
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“Am I dreaming or is that you Jason Todd?”
“Yeah its me, don’t cream your pants.”
You laugh, running to embrace your friend, and he catches you spinning you around then putting you down. 
“What are you doing here?” You ask breathlessly, “Doesn’t your dad hate leaving Gotham?”
“Well he had a meeting with your dad today, so we made him bring us.” 
“Ohh, so that’s the meeting dad didn’t want to go to” You think.
“You’re brothers are here?” You look around for the boys, but not seeing any.
Jason laughs, “Just Tim and Damian, I kind of ditched them at the Tower, I think I would’ve gone crazy if I stayed another second.”
“Aw, were you expecting me to be there?” You tease, grinning wide as the boy turned a light shade of red.
“Oh please, if you were there I think I’d die of boredom” He teases back, a matching grin growing on his face. But before you can answer back you hear Mj shout at you. 
“Y/n! Are you gonna keep flirting or can we go on some rides?”
“Yeah Iron baby, are you gonna keep flirting?” 
You roll your eyes at the nickname, despite your protests you know he’s not going to stop calling you that. 
“Hey you’re not here with anyone are you?” “Um no why?” 
You grab his hand and pull him towards Mj and Ned, who were looking at the both of you in shock.
“You’re Jason Todd..” Ned says, surprised to see him here.
“Uh..hi” Jason responds, not knowing what to say.
“Jay and I are friends” You say, “ We hang out at the galas and judge people.”
Jason laughs, “That is not what we do.” 
“Oh? So then why do you mean mug people from the corner of the room?” 
Mj and Ned make eye contact, having a silent conversation as you and Jason banter. 
“So, you’re one of Y/n’s ‘friends that don’t live in the city’?” Mj asks, eyeing Jason and you. 
He slings and arm on your shoulders, “ Is that what you call us Y/n?” He turns to Mj to respond but before he can answer Peter and Liz finally make an appearance. 
“Oh so you two finally decided to grace us with your presence?” Mj drawls 
“Sorry guys, I really wanted this Spiderman plush and Peter was trying to win it for me” Liz says with a giggle. Peter blushes, not taking his eyes off Liz. 
You frown at the sight. Frustration growing in your head, this was supposed to be your day with Peter. And now it was ruined. 
“You spent over an hour trying to win a little doll?” You said bitterly, making everyone stare at you. 
“Ah come on iron baby, we all know those games are rigged.” Jason says from beside you. You tear your eyes away from Peter and Liz, “Rigged or not, I bet I can win a prize before you, Jay-Bird”
“Oh is that a bet?” “Um yeah, I literally just said that.” “Okay fine!”
Then you and Jason are off, running towards the nearest booth that gives out prizes. 
“Umm, who was that?” Peter asking, looking in the direction you ran off. 
“That was Jason Todd” Liz responds, “ You know, Bruce Wayne's son.”
“What was he doing with his arm around Y/n?” he asks with a frown.
“Well apparently they’re friends, he just showed up. We didn’t even notice him until we saw him spinning Y/n around like a washing machine.” Ned says with a laugh.
“What, so they’re like...close?” Peter asks. Mj and Ned look at each other. 
“Um I guess...” Ned says hesitantly.
“Well, I for one, haven’t heard Y/n talk as much as she has been now.” Mj says, a knowing look on her face. Peter made a face, not understanding what Mj was talking about. 
“That's true” Liz adds in, “She’s pretty quiet, it’s kinda weird.”
“Well to be fair you two haven’t been exactly talking to her.” Ned defending you, “ She opened up quite a bit after she got comfortable.”
“Yeah, besides, Peter is the one who she knows the best, I wouldn’t be comfortable hanging out with people I just met.” Mj says, glancing at Peter. 
Peter didn’t know how to feel. At first he was psyched to be spending time alone with Liz. He didn’t even think about how you would feel when he invited her and his friends on your shopping day. This whole day he was trying to get closer to Liz, he forgot that you hardly knew Ned and Mj.  But it was okay, you gained two new friends, and now Peter has a chance with Liz. 
He looked at Liz, 
“She looks so pretty” He thinks, but deep in his mind, a voice kept bringing up an image of your face.
“Oh shoot” Liz says, “ Hey guys, my mom is here to pick me up.”
“I’ll walk you to the car!” Peter shouts, startling Mj and Ned. 
‘Okay thanks Pete!” Liz says, wrapping an arm around his. Peter turns back to Ned and Mj with a grin. 
Ned winks back and Mj just rolls her eyes, going to find you and Jason. 
As Peter and Liz walk, he starts to get nervous. This whole day he has been alone with her, but now...now he has to leave an impression. 
“I had a lot-” “It was really coo-” 
The two laugh
“You go first” Peter says.
“It was really cool of you to invite me, I had a great time.” Liz says with a smile. Peter grins, happy that she had a good time with him. and his friends.
“Yeah? I’m glad, I had fun too.” 
They finally make it to the parking lot where Liz’s mother is waiting.  Liz’s face suddenly looks nervous.
“Hey Peter,” Liz turns to Peter, “ Do you have a date to homecoming?”
Peters breath hitches, “Um..no-no why?” 
“Well, I was wondering if you wanted to come with me?”
He...he isn’t as excited as he thought he’d be. In fact, this was kind of anti-climatic. 
“Y-yeah, of course!” Peter says forcing enthusiasm.  Liz’s face brightens and she smiles, pulling Peter into a hug.
“Awesome! I’ll text you with the details later?” She asks, pulling away to get into the car.
“That sounds great” Then without warning, Liz grabs Peters face and gives him a quick peck. 
“I’ll see you later Peter Parker.” and with that, she hopped into her mom's car and drove away. Peter stood there, hand on his mouth looking at the spot Liz stood. 
For some reason..he didn’t feel as happy as he should’ve. 
“What is wrong with me?” He asked himself. He shakes his head and turns around. Ready to walk back to where he last saw his friends. 
Turns out, they were all at a booth near the parking lot. And saw the whole thing.
“Dude!” Ned said running up to Peter, “Liz Allen just kissed you! You’re going to HOMECOMING with Liz Allen!” 
“Yeah..I am” Peter says, forcing excitement for his friend,” I can’t believe it.”
“Dude! You’ve been pining over her for YEARS! “ Ned shouts, “ You did it!” 
Meanwhile, Mj is rubbing your arm in comfort as you hold back tears. You saw everything. Peter really didn’t like you the way you thought. You felt defeated, betrayed even. All those moments...they meant nothing to him.  Every moment you held close to your heart. 
“Hey, are you alright Y/n?” Jason whispers, sensing your sadness. 
“um..no not really...” you whisper back, feeling a tear run down your face. Jason wipes it away before you could. 
“Hey, come on lets get you something to drink.” He pulls you away from Mj with a nod. But before he could get far, Peter called out
“Y/n..are you okay?” 
You don’t say anything, your back turned to him so he doesn’t see your face.
“She’s not feeling too hot, I’m gonna get some water and food in her, see if she perks up” Jason responded for you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder.
Peter looks at the arm, “I can do that” He steps closer to you but before he can touch you, you speak up.
“Don’t touch me, I want Jay to take me.”
And with that, Jason adjusts his grip on you and walks you to a food truck. Leaving behind a disheartened Peter. 
You sit on a bench as Jason orders you some food. Alone, you’re able to gather your thoughts and think about what just happened.  
“Did Peter really not like me? If he didn’t why did he act so flirty with me?” 
It made you mad. It wasn’t fair that he made you feel special then dropped you as soon as someone else came along. He ignores you all day for her, then acts innocent? Screw that.
“Here you go, one greasy ass burger and a bottle of water. We dine like true kings.” 
Jason plops down next to you, “So are you gonna tell me whats wrong or what?”
You scoff, “ Wow, you sure have a way with the ladies.” 
“Whatever.” the raven haired boy rolls his eyes, “ So what’s up? Is it that Peter kid?”
You sigh and explain everything. From when you first met Peter to now. After you were done, Jason stayed quiet. Digesting what you just told him and trying to find the right words to say.
“Fuck him.” He says simply. 
“What?” You say surprised at his comment. 
“Fuck. Him” He repeats looking you in the eye, “ Why are you going to waste your time on someone who doesn’t want you? It’s his lose anyway.”
You stay quiet, not exactly knowing how to respond. 
Two of you eat in silence, watching parents run after their children, and take in the atmosphere. 
“Hey.. we never did finish our bet.” Jason says, standing up. 
You look up at him, a small smile forming on your face. “No, I guess we didn’t.”
“Well come on, I don’t have all day.” He holds out his hand, refusing to look at you. You take it, interlocking your fingers.
You walk in silence, faces red but its comforting. It was nice to see this side of Jason. When the two of you see each other, you both have a this fake persona for the media. You couldn’t truly show who you really were. You only caught glimpses of each others true self when you’d sneak away from the crowds. You both hated those stupid galas Bruce threw. Your dad would force you to go so he wouldn’t be alone, and Jason had to go as Bruce Waynes son. 
A match made in heaven.
“Here we are.” Jason says, releasing your hand. “Ready to get your ass handed to you?”
“Oh you wish Todd.”You scoff, walking up to the man running the booth. 
“Hello little lady, three bucks for a three chances.” 
You hand him the money and get the balls. It seemed simple enough, toss the balls, knock down the clowns, win the prize. 
You wind your arm back, and throw the ball with all your might. You end up knocking down two out of the five clowns down. You go again, getting the other three.v
“You got a good aim little miss. What can I get for ya?” 
“The Iron man please.” You hear Jason scoff from his place behind you, “ Oh, is someone a little salty he lost the bet?”
“Whatever princess, it was pure luck.”
“Luck? or years of training with an expert marksman?” You say referring to the times you trained with Clint.
“Whatever.” He says rolling his eyes.
“Aw come on Jay bird, don’t be so salty.” You coo, “ Here, something to remember me by.” You hand him the Iron man with a smirk.  He takes it with a sigh, trying to hide the smile forming on his face. 
“Yeah yeah, come on let's go play that booth with the balloons.” He takes your hand, dragging you to the booth. 
It turns out to be a game with water guns. You both race to make the balloon pop. Jason wins at this game 
“Ha” He says turning to you with a smirk. “ Aw, come on Princess, don’t be so salty.” He turns to attendant “ yeah can i have the Red Hood, thanks” 
He hands you the Red Hood doll, “ Here, something to remember me by” 
You roll your eyes, “ Don’t you use my words against me.” You take the doll, looking it over, “ Hey, why the Red Hood?”
Jason freezes, as you caught him in a lie or something. “Uhh, cause...he’s from Gotham, and so am I...” 
You squint at him, finding his response weird, “Um, okay?” 
He looks relieved with your acceptance. Weird. 
He takes your hand again and you both walk around, catching up on stuff you’ve missed in the months you haven't seen each other. While you were talking, you could’ve sworn you saw a flash of light from the corner of your eye. 
Oh well.
“Hey guys, over here.” 
You both turn to see Ned and Peter. 
“Hey, where’s Mj?” You ask as the two boys walk up to you and Jason.
“She had to leave, her dad picked her up a few minutes ago.” Ned replied, “We were coming to look for you guys.”
“Oh, are you ready to go?” You asked, “ Is anyone picking you up Ned?” 
“Nah I’m spending the night at Peters, we’re gonna watch Star Wars.” He says excitedly. 
Jason snorts, and you elbow him in the stomach, “ I happen to like Star Wars very much. And even if I didn’t, don’t be a dick to my friends.” 
“Sorry man, you just reminded me of my...brother, Tim. Sounds like something he’d like.” Jason says apologetically. 
“I’m friends with Y/n Stark..” Ned whispered.
Peter was quiet, he hasn’t said a word since he saw you and Jason laughing together. His mood worsened when he saw your intertwined hands. 
“So, you’re feeling better.” Peter states, avoiding your eyes. 
“Um, yeah...guess I just needed some food in me.” You mutter. An awkward silence coming over the group. 
“Hey are we going to ride the subway? It sucks going on there at night.” Ned says breaking the silence. 
“Is it? I know I hated walking around at night back home.” Jason says with a frown.
“Yeah man, my mom had to work late one night and she said she saw two homeless people getting it on.”
The four of you cringe at the thought.
“I’ll call Happy” You say pulling out your phone. You walk away, letting go of Jason's hand.
The three boys are left alone, not exactly knowing what to say to each other.
“So...how do you know Y/n?” Ned asks
“Oh uh” Jason goes to say how he knows you when he stops, he noticed how Peter’s mood seemed to worsen when he saw him with you. 
“Me and Y/n ditch galas together.” He says, “ We sneak into my room and...play games.” 
Peters face darkens, “Play games?” 
“Yeah, you know”
“No. I don’t.” 
“Interesting..” Jason thinks to himself 
“Like poker and shit”He replies, “ She’s shit at it, but i like seeing her get all happy when she wins so I let her.”
Peter smiles, knowing how happy you get when you win at games. Then frowns, knowing that Jason has seen you the same way he has. 
“Hey, whos that?” Ned asks, “ He’s been looking at Y/N for a while now.” 
Peter and Jason whip their head towards where Ned was pointing. Low and behold, there was a guy staring at you. You, too busy on your call with Happy, weren’t paying attention to your surroundings. 
The guy looked like a creep. His eyes roaming your body as if you were a piece of meat. It was disgusting.  But before Peter could do anything, Jason was already striding towards you. 
Now, Peter was strong, but he wasn’t too intimidating out of his suit. But jason? Jason was massive, even for an eighteen year old. He was tall, very well built, and just had this dark aura around him. 
Peter didn’t like him. 
Meanwhile, you were chatting to Happy about the where you were, apologizing for calling him so last minutes. 
“Thanks so much Happy, I’ll see you right now.” 
“Yeah yeah.” He hangs up. You chuckle putting your phone back into your purse. Looking up you see Jason striding towards you. 
“Hey i just-” He cuts you off, harshly slamming his arm above your head and leaning in close. 
“Theres a man staring at you.” He whispers, “ Right over there.” 
You follow his gaze, seeing the man who has a frightened expression. Jason was sending a death glare his way that could have frightened Batman himself. The man scurries off without a second glance.
Jason gently thumps you on the back of your head, “See what happens when you stand there like a space cadet.”
‘Oh..I was?”
Peter and Ned walk up to the two of you
“Y/n, you have to be more aware when you’re by yourself.” Peter scolds. 
“He’s right, or its going to be your own damn fault when someone kidnaps you.”
“Oh right.” You say standing up straight and alert. Jason rolls his eyes.
“We said when you’re alone.” “Right.” you say still alert.
“You don’t have to worry about it when you’re with me, you can space out whenever you want.”
“Oh? You gonna protect me Jay-bird?” 
Jason just smiles, not responding as he looks away from your face. 
“So, is Happy coming or what?” Peter asks rudely, taking you by surprise. He’s never talked to you like that before. 
“Um..yeah he’s on his way.” You respond, “ He should be here in a few minutes.”
Peter nods. Yet another uncomfortable silence falls on the group. 
You start walking to the entrance, and without a word the boys follow you. 
You don’t get it, first Peter ignores you all day and now he’s mad at you? What the hell is he playing at? 
“So I’m assuming you’re staying at the Tower?” You ask Jason, “ Your dad would be blowing up your phone if you weren’t.”
“I turned it off” Jason says with a smirk, “ I’m sure they’ll be alright.”
You laugh at his antics, knowing that he’s gonna get an earful when he gets back. Then. from the corner of your eye, you see Peter roll his eyes and glare at Jason.  Ugh, what a weird day.
Finally Happy, shows up. You pile into the car, a tight fit with all four of you, but you make it work. 
The tension in the car is so thick you can cut it with a knife. Happy doesn’t even make any comments, he just drives to Peter’s house to drop him and Ned off. As soon as he gets there, he jumps off the car as if something bit him. Going into the building without a goodbye. Ned just awkwardly smiles and says bye, then follows Peter into the apartment. 
“Okay...That was weird.” Happy says, “What happened? Usually the kid won’t shut up.”
“I have no idea. He’s just being a dick I guess.” You respond sourly. Looking out the window, signaling that you were done with the conversation. 
You finally get home, exhausted physically and emotionally. As you ride the elevator, you think about today's events. So much has happened today it makes your head spin. You were,’t even paying attention when you got to your floor, Jason having to nudge you to get you to move.
“Jason.”, you hear a deep voice rumble. You look up at the sound and giggle
“Looks like you’re in trouble Jay-bird.” “Shut up, please.” 
You laugh again, “It’s lovely to see you again Mr. Wayne, are you staying at the Tower tonight?”
“Hello Y/n” Bruce says, “ It seems so, seeing as my son has been missing all day and we’ve missed our check in time.” He glares at Jason. 
“Aw come on Bruce, we’ll all have a sleepover, bread each other’s hair and tell secrets” You dad says coming out of nowhere. He pecks the top of your head. 
“Hey kid, how was it?” 
“Ugh, don’t even get me started” You say rolling your eyes, “ How was the meeting?” 
“Ugh don’t even get me started.” Then he turned to Jason, “ Hey, didn’t know you were a fan.” 
You laugh, knowing he’s referring to the plush you won for him. “Where’s the rest of the boys?” 
“Damian fell asleep and Tim is in your fathers lab tinkering.” Bruce responds, “ I was about to head to bed.” 
“Oh me too, I’ve had quite the day.” You hug your dad, “ Night pops.” 
Then you turn to Jason, “ I had fun today Jay, thanks. Good night Mr. Wayne.” 
And with that, you walk off to your room, desperate to shower and sleep this day away. 
“So, care to explain why your phone was shut off?” 
Yikes, poor Jason.
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dollslayer · 3 years
Note
Please continue the Scandal-based Steve fic, you write the best angst ever!!!!
A/N: As you wish! Thank you so much for reading, hope this is up to par 💖 (ps- if you commented on the first one I'm tagging you for this follow up, no permanent tags tho don't worry!)
Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader, Steve Rogers x Peggy Carter
Warnings: pseudo-cheating, angst, alcohol consumption, swearing, love triangle, secret relationship
Part One HERE I Main Masterlist
It’s been an entire week since you walked out on Steve. He never did find the words to tell you that he wasn’t going to leave Peggy, but you never found the words to explicitly leave him, either. You were both in a game of chicken that you’d unknowingly started and neither of you had found the courage to finish it.
It was so easy when you were swept up in the moment, a storm of anger and hurt that finally came to a breaking point. But now you were past it and found yourself lost. The only thing making you feel better was seeing that Steve was having just as hard a time as you were. He wasn’t as outgoing, he was making dumb mistakes, he was off his game. You didn’t necessarily want Steve to suffer but it was reassuring in some way, to know that he felt anything for you. You just wanted this entire mess to be over.
But when the mess was over, what would you want to come of it? Do you even want to be with Steve any more? Or do you just not want him to be with Peggy? Thinking it through, what you felt for Steve was real, real enough to pull on your heartstrings and real enough to hurt. After all of the grief that Steve has caused you you’re not sure that you could properly forgive him. Maybe over time but you couldn’t see yourself trying to rebuild your relationship when the two of you had so much else to focus on.
So now you were caught in some sort of relationship purgatory because you were too afraid to end it. And he was too much of a coward to admit he’s been in the wrong this whole time. Honestly you can’t justify Steve’s actions on any level when it came down to it. His men are in the midst of war and fighting Hydra and he really thinks that a relationship is going to be their saving grace and reassurance? Bull.
On some level, no matter how deep it is, Steve saw something for her that he didn’t see in you and he felt some affection for her. Maybe saying that the relationship was just a front was his way of covering his real feelings for her. But he’d be damned if he thought he could have his cake and eat it too. You’d spent many a night cycling through this thought process and ending up right where you started.
Getting nowhere in your deliberating you decided to bury yourself in your work. You’d always felt that it was fulfilling work, you helped civilians and military alike with your work and you were damn good at it. So you plunged head-first into your codebreaking and strategy-forming and put your in-limbo relationship on the back burner.
Throwing yourself head first into work turned out to be in your best interest for the time being. The last two missions had been a success but per usual, you had gone unrecognized. That’s fine, you didn’t need to be patted on the back every time you excelled but every once in a while it would be nice. And thanks to your codebreaking, once again, you find yourself stuck in the corner of the dingy pub you had lost your mind in just a week ago. Unappreciated. Or so you thought.
You sat back thinking Steve wasn’t under Peggy’s thumb this time but he was trying his best to make the most of the moment over a pint with the rest of the commandos. And you were back in what was becoming your usual corner of the pub, sipping on a dry red wine. It was bitter on your tongue but after the week you’ve had you needed a drink, even if it meant seeing them.
“You did good back there, thank you” Bucky’s voice shook you from your thoughts. “Okay if I sit?”
You were so caught off guard by anyone really speaking to you, let alone praising you that you couldn’t find anything to say. You just stared at Bucky with wide eyes before nodding slowly. He settled into the chair next to you and took a swig from his bottle.
“You know, on the outside you don’t seem like you’re gonna be much but when you put yourself to work… it’s somethin’ else. You’re a natural.” Bucky told you.
“Um, thanks, I guess?” You brushed off the compliment to give him one of your own, “We wouldn’t be sitting here right now if it weren’t for you all. I’m just some codebreaker, you’re the one doing the leg work”
“Give yourself some credit, you deserve it.” Bucky patted you on the shoulder and for the first time in weeks you felt a spark of genuine happiness. You shyly smiled up at Bucky and took a sip of your wine.
“So, you wanna tell me what’s got Steve snappin’ his cap at everyone? You two break up?”
Your eyes rounded in surprise. You were so sure that no one had known. You were so sure Steve didn’t want anyone to so it didn’t occur to you that Bucky might’ve known.
“Did… Steve tell you? About us?”
“Didn’t have to. I ran after him to talk a few weeks ago and found you two smoochin’”
Your face heated in slight embarrassment but you nodded in understanding.
“I just… it’s not fair that he should show her off like she’s his sweetheart while I’m treated like some dirty secret. I gave him a piece of my mind and he wasn’t able to cope. But I don’t know where this leaves us. He didn’t split but there’s just no way we could go on like this.”
Bucky looked a little miffed but grunted in affirmation. He shook his head and clenched his jaw.
“I knew he and Peggy weren’t for real but what he’s been doin’ to ya ain’t right. Sorry Steve’s been such a knucklehead. My two cents, you go back to him and confront him. And if he’s too much of a punk to see what he’s got you walk.”
You shakily exhale and take another gulp before setting your palms flat against the table.
“Easier said than done, but you’re right”
“I love him, he’s my brother but forget him if he’s too much of a jerk to know what he’s got. But for now let’s just get pleasantly drunk, whaddya say?”
Rather than giving him an answer you downed the rest of your glass and put it down on the table. Bucky was looking at you with a toothy grin.
“Atta girl”
____
The evening had been as promised, you were pleasantly drunk and for the first time in weeks you were letting yourself enjoy the moment. Bucky was funny and kind to you when no one else had even batted an eye and you found yourself grateful for his company that night.
You were humming to yourself as you walked back to your room but just when you reached for the door a hand reached out for your wrist. You didn’t need to look up to know that the hand belonged to Steve. You denied yourself the comfort you found in physical contact and reminded yourself of the situation. You sighed and looked up to him expectantly.
“You and Buck? Just what the hell’s going on?” Steve demanded.
“Oh so now you want to talk to me? You only care now that you’re not my main focus?” You shot right back at him. You swayed slightly, tipsy still from the wine.
Steve’s jaw tensed and he schooled his features though you could tell he was simmering on the inside.
“No”, he said calmly, “I just wanted to know. If you’re trying to make me jealous it’s not going to work.”
“Well I wasn’t trying but apparently it is working.”
Steve’s hands balled into fists and you could see veins beginning to spout in his hands. He didn’t say anything so you continued.
“I give you an ultimatum and tell you how much you’ve hurt me and you only come back once I turn my attention to your best friend? He’s the only one that’s said a nice word to me this whole time. The rest have been caught up in the lie you’ve been spinning with Peggy!”
Your anger was getting the better of you but you were letting it. Anger got you through it the first time, it’ll get you out no matter how it ends.
“That’s not fair-”
“You’re not fair, Steve. The way you’ve been treating me, it isn’t right! I gave you a choice and you’ve been dragging your feet. I’m going to ask you one more time, Steve. Me? Or Her?”
Steve was silent again, you could tell he wasn’t thinking about what he wanted, but he was forming an answer. Deep down you knew it would come to this. He’s never going to hold your hand in public, there’s never going to be an apartment in Brooklyn, there’s never going to be an us between you. Maybe there never was.
Steve started to call your name but you shook your head and scrunched your eyes closed in a mixture of frustration and pain. Tears were welling in your eyes but you’d be damned if Steve Rogers would see a single one fall. He doesn’t deserve it. He doesn’t deserve you, he never did.
“I’m sorry…” Steve offered lamely.
“No, you’re not.” Maybe that wasn’t fair of you to say, Steve did look to be in genuine emotional pain over this but right now you didn’t care. If he had felt any true remorse he wouldn’t have let himself get anywhere with Peggy in the first place.
“I really did want all of that with you, I still do. We could still have it, we just need to get through this, please.”
You shook your head and started ushering him towards the door.
“No, Steve. That’s all gone now. You had your chance but I’m worth more than how you treat me.”
You opened the door and waited for him to leave.
“I think you should go. I don’t have anything left to say to you.”
With that Steve sighed heavily but left with his head hung between his shoulders. You could’ve sworn he was crying but you didn’t care if he was. He made this happen and he didn’t treat you right. So this is what happened.
Tears finally make their way down your face but you don’t feel sad. It’s cathartic almost, like a weight lifted. You’d probably put in for a transfer with the SSR just to save the team the grief but for now you’d keep your head down, keep working. Damn Steve Rogers for not seeing in you what you saw in yourself and damn anyone else that didn’t either.
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ifmywishescametrue · 3 years
Note
i don't know if you're still taking prompts (so please ignore this if you aren't) but i cant stop thinking about your recent buckytony fic (and how much i love breaking up and making up as a trope) - so i was wondering if you'd be up for doing smth else w that trope for buckytony?? maybe they re-unite at a mutual friend's wedding?? and it brings up emotions about their almost wedding?? idk i just really love breaking up and making up as a trope and i really love your writing :))
thank you!! I'm very much up for doing another buckytony break up/make up, plus you deserve nice things for finishing law school - congrats on that!🎉🎉hope you like this one 😊
There's a ring on Bucky's finger.
It's the first thing Tony notices when he walks into the bar for Natasha and Sharon's joint bachelorette party. He stands there in the doorway, frozen and staring until someone clears their throat pointedly behind him, and he mumbles an apology as he moves out of the way.
He thinks about turning around and not coming back, just ditching the event entirely and maybe even the wedding tomorrow, but he tosses the ridiculous thought the second it comes. He promised Sharon when she asked him to be her man of honor that he could handle Bucky being Nat's. Living on the other side of the country afforded him to miss the rest of the events and planning along the way, and he could deal with one day of being cordial to his ex, even if the day comes with walking down an aisle together.
But now there's a ring on Bucky's finger.
The silver catches the light, and it's on prominent display with his left hand wrapped around a beer bottle. It shouldn't be possible for him to have moved on that quickly. Eight months shouldn't be long enough to bury three years of memories. Three years of hopes and dreams and plans for a future built together. Years of love so blindingly intense that it burrowed into Tony's soul to make a home and refused to be evicted just because it was supposed to be over.
Tony wonders what the timeline is. Did he find someone new while Tony was still just beginning to pick up his own scattered pieces? A first date for him while Tony was barely getting out of bed. When was it that he replaced Tony as the last person to have his heart? And how did he find forever in someone else so soon after losing the one he used to call his soulmate?
Natasha notices him first, still hovering near the entrance, and she raises a single eyebrow that calls him a coward. He rolls his eyes at the accusation, though it's accurate. She elbows Sharon to catch her attention, and before he knows it the entire small group is turning their heads his way, giving him no choice but to join them.
It's less bachelorette party and more pre-wedding celebration with the crowd they've gathered, all mutual friends of both brides with no regards for gender traditions that usually come with this night. Tony used to fit in well with them all, back when gatherings like this were just a typical Friday night. But he made himself an outsider between the move to California and the breakup with Bucky. All he has now with most of them is a dead group chat that hasn't been used in months. He wonders which one of them made the new one without him in it.
Sharon is the first to pull him into a hug, then Natasha follows suit. He gets a nod from Sam, a wave from Clint, and what might pass as a smile from Steve. Bucky stares so intensely that Tony can feel his eyes with his back turned, but when Tony looks his way, he pretends to be interested in the floor.
He had a plan before the ring threw him off. Step one should have been the entrance. Head held high, shoulders square, perfect outfit that shows everything off and compliments the Malibu tan he has now. Step two should be nonchalance. A light hearted greeting to everyone, accompanied by an easy grin and relaxed body language, and catching up with subtle brags slipped in. Show them all that he's doing better than he ever was, sitting on top of the world these days, even if most of the time it feels like he's barely above rock bottom.
Step three in his ideal scenario involved Bucky breaking down and begging to get him back. Some versions even had him on his knees for it, with tears running down his face. Others required it to be raining outside, and the cloudless sky ruined that before the ring on Bucky's finger did.
With steps one and three out the window, he tries to salvage step two.
“Hey,” Tony starts, a little too loud. He swallows the lump in his throat and tries again, “Hey, Bucky. It's good to see you.”
Bucky nods, a strained, jerky motion. “Yeah, you too. How, uh, how have you been?”
“Good. Really good, actually. Company just had its highest sales quarter yet, so it’s been a little crazy around there, but good.”
“Good,” Bucky repeats, and there’s a long awkward pause.
“And what about you?” Tony asks, and then because he can’t help himself, he adds, “I see you got engaged. Or, hell, I guess it could be married, even.”
Bucky freezes with parted lips and wide eyes for the briefest of moments, like he wasn’t expecting Tony to know about it or bring it up, and his eyes shift to the ring on his hand and stay there.
“Yeah,” he says slowly. “Engaged. Last week.”
Tony ignores the ache in his chest and plasters on a smile like he’s happy for him. “Congratulations. Who’s the lucky guy?”
“Oh, you wouldn’t know him. Steve introduced us. They work together.”
“So he’s at the museum then? I thought you used to say that you hated all those stuffy guys and Steve was the only one worth knowing.”
Bucky smiles, a fond thing that widens the crack in Tony’s heart. “Yeah, well, I guess I was wrong. Felix is a great guy.”
Tony resists the urge to roll his eyes. Stupid name that probably matches a stupid, punchable face.
Some masochist thing pulls at him to make him keep digging for more information, a twisted need to know even as each word pushes the knife in deeper. He aims for casual, leaning back against one of the high top tables as he asks, “So how long have you been together?”
“Just a couple of months. Kind of fast, I know, but when you’re sure about something, it doesn’t really matter, right? Why waste time waiting?”
“Right, of course,” Tony says, a little flatter than he intends. “So why isn’t he here tonight? Hope it wasn’t to spare my feelings, because it’s really not necessary.”
Bucky falters, “It’s not? You, uh, you’re dating someone, then?”
Tony nods, and he wishes he had grabbed a drink before this so he could hide behind it as he lies through his teeth. “Only a few weeks, though. A little too early to be a wedding date, but I’m sure your guy will be there tomorrow right?”
“Oh, um, yeah, definitely. Why wouldn’t he be, right? There’s no reason I can think of,” Bucky says, stumbling around it. “But tell me more about your thing. Your person. How’s that going?”
Tony shrugs, and he finally pulls off that easy smile he’s been trying for. “Well, it’s not get engaged in a couple of months good, but it’s been really great. We’re taking it slow. Trying not to rush anything and just get to know each other first. I think it could really be something, though.”
“That’s good,” Bucky mumbles. “You deserve something good.”
He isn’t meeting Tony’s eyes anymore, almost like he’s upset that Tony moved on, and the vindictive part of Tony wants to be happy about it, but another part wants to be angry because it isn’t fair. It’s not fair to act like Tony should stay stuck in time, forever longing for him when he already moved on with someone else first. It’s hypocritical and selfish, even if Tony is lying about there being anyone else.
“Well, I’m gonna go get a drink,” Tony says, pushing down every feeling. “Should catch up with everyone else, too, while I’m at it. I’ll talk to you later.”
He heads over to the bar and isn’t surprised when Sharon joins him a moment later, right after he orders a double shot of whiskey. She puts an arm around his shoulder and asks, “Are you okay?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” Tony laughs, running a hand through his hair. “My ex is engaged to somebody else and apparently doing really fucking well. Meanwhile, I’m making up fake boyfriends that I’m taking it slow with, because last week I went on my first real date in eight months and cried in the bathroom in the middle of it. And then, at the end of the night, he literally told me to my face that he didn’t think a second date was a good idea. We weren’t even talking about it, Sharon. He said it unprompted when we were still ten minutes from his apartment, and I was driving.”
Sharon nods slowly as she processes the rant. “He told you he got engaged?”
“Yeah, thanks for not telling me, by the way. It was really fun to get blindsided by it.”
She ignores the complaint to ask, “What else did he tell you, exactly?”
“Oh, just the whole line about how you know when you know, and Felix is such a great guy, and all that bullshit.”
“Felix,” Sharon repeats.
Tony knocks back the rest of his drink and orders another. “Please tell me he’s not better looking than me. Tell me it’s a downgrade. Don’t lie, because I know I have to meet him tomorrow, but please give me something that will make this better.”
“Well, I can guarantee he’s not as attractive as you. But he’s a little too perfect, you know? Like how could this guy possibly be real, he’s so unbelievably perfect,” Sharon says.
“I told you to make me feel better, not worse.”
Sharon shakes her head with a smile, the arm around him tightening into an approximation of hug. “I wouldn’t worry about it too much. I don’t think they’re going to last. He’s kind of flaky, too. Always cancelling at the last minute and all that. Bet he won’t even show tomorrow.”
The amusement on her face that she’s failing to hide confuses him. He’s starting to feel bad, though, for making the night about him when it should be about her and Nat.
Resolving not to dwell on it anymore, he squeezes the hand on his shoulder and says, “Alright, enough sad drinking, and definitely enough about me. We’re celebrating you and Nat and a lifetime of sickeningly wonderful happiness for both of you.”
Sharon grins, “Hell yeah, we are.”
“Shots?”
“Is that even a question?”
_____________
He wakes up with a headache and hazy memories. Shots of tequila that turned into shots of vodka when Nat got involved, then Clint’s terrible suggestion to try a shot of every liquor they had to offer. He vaguely remembers the round of toasts and drunken impromptu speeches from everyone, locking eyes with Bucky and failing to look away on both their parts. There’s a blur of wandering hands and heated, messy kisses. A bathroom stall turned into a cab ride which turned into his hotel room. He knows what he’ll find next to him when he opens his eyes, and guilt comes in full force.
“I know you’re awake,” Bucky says, voice still rough with sleep. It used to be Tony’s favorite sound in the world. “And I know we’re both sorry about what happened, but pretending to be asleep isn’t fixing nothin’.”
Tony shifts over to his back, and if there was any question before about what happened between them, the all too familiar ache in his body would answer it. He stares up at the ceiling to avoid the acres of bare skin on display next to him.
“You should probably leave,” Tony says to the walls. “I’m sure your fiancé is wondering where you are.”
“I doubt it.”
Tony puts an arm over his eyes, partly to block out the light that makes them ache and partly to hide his face. “Just go, okay? It was a mistake, and it won’t happen again, and we don’t have to talk about it.”
“Was it a mistake?” Bucky asks. “It didn’t feel like one to me.”
He doesn’t answer, and it’s soft and broken when Bucky says his name. Too much for him to handle.
Tony pushes back the blankets and searches for Bucky’s clothes in the mess they’ve made. He finds the shirt first and throws it at him. “You’re engaged, which means it was a mistake.”
His boxers are on the back of the couch, jeans right in front of the door, and they join the pile on Bucky’s lap. “You promised the rest of your life to somebody else, and I’m pretty sure fidelity is supposed to go with that.”
He tosses a shoe in the general direction of the bed, and it hits the nightstand with a loud thud. The second shoe is still in his hand when Bucky gets up and walks over to him, taking it and letting it drop to the floor.
His eyes hold a level of intensity that Tony has spent months dreaming about, and Tony couldn’t look away or move from this spot even if he tried.
“Felix isn’t real,” Bucky says. “I made him up when you asked, because I didn’t want to tell you the truth that I haven’t moved on in the slightest. That I’m so pathetic that I’ve spent the last eight months wearing an engagement ring that I bought for a guy who doesn’t love me anymore because I don’t know how to let him go.”
Tony stops breathing. “What?”
Bucky slides the ring from his finger, holding it between them so Tony can see the inscription. Always yours. He can’t remember the last time he heard the words get spoken.
“When?” Tony asks hoarsely. “When did you get that and why didn’t you ever ask me?”
“About a year ago,” Bucky says, slipping it back on his own finger. He sits back on the edge of the bed and stares down at it, twisting it around. “I thought about doing it on your birthday, but Nat and Sharon had just gotten engaged the week before and I didn’t want to take anything away from them. You were working a lot of late nights after that, and I thought it would be better to wait until things slowed down. You were so tired all the time, and you deserved a better proposal than when you’re falling asleep in the middle of dinner. It never slowed down, though. And then you got that big promotion and somehow we fell apart instead. If I’m honest, I still don’t really know how. One minute I’m getting ready to come with you, and the next you’re telling me not to bother.”
Tony sits down next to him, shoulders touching, and he pulls Bucky’s left hand into his. “You didn’t really want to go.”
“That’s not true,” Bucky says, but Tony shakes his head.
“All you talked about was how much you would miss New York. How much you’d miss your friends and your family and your job. Every day, everywhere we went. Even the fucking hot dog stands got sonnets about them. It really didn’t take a genius to figure out that you weren’t exactly looking forward to leaving.”
“I still would have gone for you,” Bucky argues. “I told you I would go anywhere with you, if it was what you wanted.”
“And then what? You move with me, and you’re miserable all the time, because my job never slows down so I’m still not around as much as you want, except now it’s compounded because you’re in a city that you hate with no one else that you know. You resent me for making you go, and the outcome is the same in the end either way.”
“Or I move with you, and I finally ask you to marry me like I’ve wanted to since almost the day we met. I find new friends and a new job, and even if it’s not perfect, it’s still worth it because at the end of the day I have a husband coming home to me.”
Tony runs his thumb over the ring and murmurs, “I wanted you to be happy. I didn’t think I could do that for you anymore.”
Bucky cups his cheek, tilting his head up to meet his eyes. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but baby, you’re an idiot.”
“Oh, thanks,” Tony laughs.
“You’re my idiot, if that helps.”
Tony smiles, still fragile but growing more hopeful. “Am I?”
“Always have been,” Bucky says. “Always will be if you stop assuming I’m going to leave you all the time. Let me decide for myself what I’m willing to sacrifice for us.”
Tony nods slowly, then says, “I’m sorry for ending it like that.”
“I’m sorry for making you feel like you had to.”
Tony climbs into his lap, circling his arms around his neck, and Bucky pulls him in closer with his hands on Tony’s hips. The ring is strange to feel against his skin, but also completely right. He wants it to stay there and to mean what it was always supposed to. Wants one of his own to match.
“We can fix it, right? We can be us again?”
“I don’t know,” Bucky says, and Tony’s heart sinks for just a moment. “Is your boyfriend as real as my fiancé?”
Tony laughs again in relief, “Yeah, they’d be a good pair.”
“I knew you had to be lying. You’ve never taken it slow in your life,” Bucky grins.
“Do you want me to start now?”
Bucky flips them over in one fluid motion, and he kisses up his throat as he murmurs, “Absolutely not.”
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💫✨💕send this to ten bloggers you think are wonderful. keep the game going 💕✨
Have a nice day/night/dance battle with the peacocks! :D
Alright, since you are a) very cool and fun and b) you took the time to send such a lovely message, I’m going to give you a part of a fic series I started many moons ago and abandoned for other things
🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
Hatter Has Definitely Kissed Every Executive At Least Once And This Is How It Went:  Ann Edition 
🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
Rating: PG-13
Tags: Alcohol, shenanigans, everyone’s cutting loose, mild reluctance (but these people don’t turn down dares so y’know)
Summary: As a “team building” exercise, all of the Executives have met for a little get-together; and with alcohol and a rousing game of “truth or dare” involved, what could possibly go wrong?
“Ann,” Chisiya says, “truth or dare?”
Ann sighs.  Her red-lacquered fingernails tap rhythmically against the green of a beer bottle, the glassy sound barely audible above the chatting of the half-drunk executives.
“I already told you, I’m not playing.”
“The fuck you aren’t,” Niragi snaps, grip on his rifle tightening as he downs another shot of vodka, “no skips, that’s the rule.”
“If I had to do it, you have to do it,” Keiichi offers mournfully, taking a sad sip of bourbon from a crystal-cut glass, “it’s only fair.”
Ann turns her attention towards Hatter.  He’s taking a healthy swig from—ew, is that a bottle of peppermint schnapps?  She wrinkles her nose in disgust as he raises his eyebrows in a suggestive arch.
“This is a terrible idea,” she tells him for the fourth time in the last hour, “and you should feel bad for making us do this.”
“Ann.  Sweet, darling,” Hatter takes note of her unimpressed grimace, “angry Ann.  This is all an exercise in trust.  A way for all of us executives to bond.”
“And because he loves the drama,” Aguni adds.
“I really do,” Hatter says wistfully, “So, come on.  One round and then you can go back to summoning demons or whatever you do in your little basement crypt.”
Ann sighs.  Everyone is looking at her with expectant eyes.  She finishes the rest of her beer and puts the empty bottle on the table.
“Fine,” she says, “One round, and then I’m leaving.”
“The ice queen giveth in,” Chisiya says, the corners of his mouth turning up onto a mischievous grin, “So, pick your poison.  Truth...or dare?”
“Dare,” Ann says coolly, and the room erupts.  Even Last Boss, who had been lurking in the corner until now, gasps.  In a rare show of camaraderie, Niragi slaps Chisiya on the back and tells him to ‘give that bitch a good one.’
Imbeciles.  All of them.
“Everyone gather ‘round the table,” Chisiya purrs—yes, purrs—as he looks her with a twinkle in his eye, “because this particular date involves each and every one of you.”
“Even me?” asks Last Boss.
“But of course,” Chisiya says, “we need everyone if we’re going to play...spin the bottle.”
Ann feels the blood drain from her face.  Oh, this little blond twerp is despicable.  He is evil and terrible and—
“No re-spins.  No backing out.  The kiss must last a minimum of five seconds, but it can go longer if you feel so inclined.”
“I won’t,” Ann answers curtly.  There is not a person in this room she could ever want to kiss.  (Except for Mira, but.  Well.  That’s a thought for another day.)
“I don’t know,” Niragi says with an exaggerated flick of his tongue, the silver piercing winking at her in a supposedly seductive manner, “once you get a taste of a real man, you might find yourself hooked.”
“Perhaps Niragi wouldn’t be so bad,” Mira muses with a serene smile, “his oral fixation is off-putting on the best of days, but it might translate well to a more intimate experience.  That is, until he starts talking again.  Then it’ll be terrible.”
Niragi’s face twists into a sharp scowl as he tries to sputter a comeback; drunkenness and embarrassment have apparently robbed him of his mental faculties, so he crosses his arms over his chest and pouts.
“Alright, let’s get this over with,” Ann says with a huff.  
She places her empty beer bottle, label-side down, on the long wooden table.  For the first time this evening, everyone is silent.  Honestly, it’s kind of nice—it would be better if she didn’t have to end up kissing one of them, but, beggars can’t be choosers.
“You know,” Ann says, “there is a possibility it could land on me.  Does that mean I don’t have to kiss anyone?”
“That means you get to choose,” Chisiya says, “which...well, that will most certainly add some spice to the night, wouldn’t it?”
“Very evil,” Aguni concludes with a nod, “I like it.”
Hm.  Well, it was worth a shot.  
With one final, annoyed sigh, Ann places her hand on the bottle and gives it a powerful spin.  Maybe it’ll spin right off the table and shatter on the floor.  She wouldn’t have to do anything weird, and then she could just go back to her room and take a long bath.  Alone.  The way the universe intended.
It’s impossible not to watch the bottle spin, light refracting off the glass and casting flickering spots of light around the room.  It’s just a kiss.  She’s kissed people before.  Many people.  At least two.  
Friends kiss each other all the time.  Not her friends, but other people and their friends.  And these people aren’t really ‘friends,’ but they’re...acquaintances.  Colleagues.  Does that make it better or worse?
It’s slowing down now.  With each passing second, her fate is being decided by the neck of the bottle.  Mira, Last Boss, Keiichi—oh, God, please don’t let it be Keiichi, they have a meeting in the morning, that would be so awkward...
But, luckily, the bottle does not land on Keiichi.  It does not land on Niragi, nor does it land on Chisiya.  Last Boss has also been spared, as have Aguni and Mira.  That leaves only one candidate...
“Oh, Ann,” Hatter says, clapping his hands together and looking entirely too pleased with this very strange turn of events, “I always knew there was something between us!”
The thing he’s talking about is tolerance—she tolerates him because it is both sensible and beneficial to be on his good side.  He also, surprisingly enough, defers to her expertise on certain matters, which is more than can be said for her previous employers.  They are friendly, certainly, but most certainly not friends.  
And...lovers?  
Out of the question.
But Fate (and a smug little blonde) have decided that they share a moment of passion. Could she have spun worse?  Yes.  Could she have spun better?  Absolutely.  100%.  Without a doubt.
But Ann is a woman of integrity.  When she commits, she commits.  And so, as she walks to the other side of the table, she keeps her spine straight and her head held high.  She refuses to let these people see her falter.
“In addition to the parameters already given, I’d like to establish some rules of my own,” she says coolly, barely resisting the temptation to roll her eyes when he takes another gulp of alcohol.  Yep, that’s definitely peppermint schnapps he has—she can tell by the stench of it, the way it’s sharpness burns at her eyes.
She’s always hated peppermint schnapps.
“Fine, fine,” Hatter says with a wave of his hand, “as long as you promise not to fall completely in love with me in the process.”
That gets a laugh from everyone—and even Ann considers cracking a smile at the thought of someone like her ever feeling something for someone like him.  
“No tongue.  No teeth.  And,” Ann tell him firmly, “if you want to leave this room with your balls intact, I suggest you keep your hands to yourself.”
The group ooh’s at that.  Ann doesn’t look at them.  She keeps her gaze focused on the man in front of her, watching him intently for any signs of weakness.
All she gets is a smirk.
“I would expect nothing less of you, Ann,” he replies, “however, you’re more than welcome to put your hands anywhere on my person.”
He leans in slightly, almost as if he’s letting her in on a secret.
“I could even give you a few suggestions, if you like.”
What a perfectly hideous thing for him to say.  It doesn’t help that he’s fluttering his eyelashes at her like some kind of lovestruck cartoon character.  
It’s annoying.
He’s annoying.
With a roll of her eyes, Ann grabs Takeru by the silk of his obnoxious robe and crashes her mouth against his-- because she’ll be damned if he’s the one kissing her.  
Five...
The group gasps-- Takeru included, the noise muffled by the seal of their lips as she kisses him fully and firmly.
Four...
And it’s...not as gross as it could be, but it’s still a very odd experience.  His lips are soft enough, and his beard-moustache-whatever-the-fuck is scratchy in a way that is.  Well, it’s interesting.  Not good, but...interesting.
Three...
“This is fucking weird,” Niragi shouts, sounding very disgusted.
Two...
“It’s like watching my parents,” Last Boss adds, “when they were still trying to convince my sister and I they were still in love and weren’t going to get a divorce.”
One...
And done.
“Okay,” Ann says flatly as she pulls away and swallows a grimace at the sight of her favorite shade of lipstick on Takeru’s lips (and is actually a very nice compliment to his skin tone, frustratingly enough) “Can I go now.” 
For good measure, she releases his robe with a disdainful flick of her fingers and subtly brushes her hands off on her shorts.  It’s not enough to get the scent of peppermint schnapps and awkwardness off of her skin, but it can’t hurt.
“A deal’s a deal,” Chisiya concedes, his eternally mischievous smirk stretched across his cheeks, “And I must say, I didn’t expect you to fulfill your end of the bargain so...enthusiastically.”
“That’s because nobody can resist me,” Takeru gloats, bottle of alcohol back in his grip as if it had never truly left, “It’s not her fault I’m so delectable--”
“Detestable,” Ann corrects under her breath.
“--And, even though you’ll try to deny it,” Takeru continues, disregarding her comment, “both of us know that there’s a part of you that liked kissing me.”
“I liked the part when she stopped,” Mira chirps cheerfully, “In fact, I think we all did!”
“You have no idea,” Aguni murmurs solemnly into his drink, his eyes darting towards Takeru with an unimpressed look.  That’s...hm, there’s clearly some kind of story there, although Ann isn’t sure she wants to know about it. 
Everyone begins talking amongst themselves once again-- Niragi has offered to spin the bottle next, and there’s a small argument breaking out over whether or not the group should continue with their original game of ‘truth or dare’ or pivot to this new one. 
And, Ann?
Ann doesn’t stick around to find out. 
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jisungsplatforms · 3 years
Text
[Chapter IV: You F*cking Minx!]
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Pairing: Producer/Music Major! Han Jisung x Photographer! fem! reader
Genre: NSFW! Smut; non idol au, college au, strangers to lovers
Warnings: Mature Content! strong language, masterbation (m&f) (only implied this chapter), discussion of kinks, good old nudes & teasing Jisung ;)
Chapter Word Count: 2.8k (lol minus the emojis cause APPARENTLY, they count on docs)
Taglist: @hyunjeongins @seungstarss @es-kay-zee @hyunjinsplaything @formidxble @freckledquokka @lbxgsunshine @cartierbin @solistired @rainbowmagicpixecorn @http-hyxnjxn (want to be added? send an ask or a dm! <3)
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You were starting to think that touching yourself every night was rather unhealthy...
It’s been over a week since you and Jisung met—a week since the both of you started your unspoken arrangement. Breathing heavily, you laid limply on your untidy bed, the only source of light available was the moon’s rays peeking through your curtains. The lower half of your body was completely rid of any clothing; the only thing covering your skin were splotches of your essence. Your phone then lit up with a notification from ‘Hannie Bear’.
1 new message(s) from Hannie Bear 🍯🧸
Hannie Bear 🍯🧸: u okay baby? do u wanna sleep now?
Using your unsoiled hand, you grabbed your phone and typed as best as you could.
Me: Nah, I still have a little bit of energy left in me
Hannie Bear 🍯🧸: really? cool lol
let’s chat for a bit
Me: Sure. Just hold on for a sec
You sat up and wiped your hand on the towel laid under you. Swinging one of your legs off the bed, you used your toes to pick up your garments from the floor, and quickly put them on. Two new notifications from Jisung appeared on your screen. You read his messages as you threw your dirted towel onto the floor.
Hannie Bear 🍯🧸: aight.
actually you know what? just call me please!
You laid back down and tapped on his icon, which now consisted of a selfie of himself from when he ‘needed to use’ your phone a few days ago, at the top of your screen to switch to the call screen. Your phone rang several times before Jisung answered. Through the phone, you could hear the faint sound of rustling and a groan.
“Hey,” he greeted with a raspy voice. You instinctively smiled when you heard him.
“Hey.”
Jisung cleared his throat before speaking. “So I was wondering, since— ah wait. Sorry, my throat’s kinda...”
“No, go ahead. I don’t mind.”
“Thanks,” he chuckled. “You should get some water too! You know, cause— yeah. After all that.”
You laughed, heart warming at his consideration. “Yeah. Thanks!” Bringing your phone with you, you walked to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water. You set the call to speaker mode before putting your phone down to drink. Hearing the hilarious way Jisung took big gulps of water almost made you choke on your water.
He let out an over-exaggerated ‘ha!’ and said with a funny voice, “Refreshing!” Hearing your snort made Jisung smile. “Okay, so now that we’re both hydrated, I’ll tell you what I’ve been thinking.” You hummed to acknowledge him. “So, you know how we’ve been doing this for almost two weeks now, right?”
“Yeah…?” You picked up your phone to go back to your room.
“Okay. Well, we never really talked about, you know, things that we like.”
“Things that we like?”
“Yeah! You know what I mean?”
‘Huh?’ You thought about it for a few seconds before realizing what he was talking about. “Ohh. Do you mean our kinks?”
“There! That.”
You scoffed playfully. “I knew this conversation was bound to happen.”
“Well, then spill, girl!” Jisung said flamboyantly. “Don’t keep me waiting!”
You giggled. “Weirdo,” you whispered, softly grunting when you plopped onto your bed. “Where do you want me to start?”
“I don’t know. I guess just tell me like, what role you like playing in bed, or if you don’t even use roles at all.”
“Well, we’ve masterbated together long enough for you to know that I don’t mind either; sex is sex and it should be enjoyable, whether or not there are sub/dom roles...but I do like being submissive.”
“Oh, right. Nice,” he snickered, “Okay, now what? Vanilla or Kinky?”
“Kinky, all that way.” Jisung wanted to laugh at how fast that answer came out. “Of course, there’s nothing wrong vanilla sex, in fact, it’s very much appreciated in this household.”
“Ahh. Someone of culture. I respect that.” The both of you chuckled. “So, what are some things you want to be done to you?”
“Like, receiving?” Jisung hummed in confirmation. “I guess I like being marked? And being praised and using pet names, but of course, who doesn’t?”
“I feel you, I feel you,” he nodded on the other side of the phone. “I like that too.”
“I also like being tied up.”
Jisung sat up, wide eyed. “Rope-bunny?!”
You guffawed, hearing him so shocked like that. “What? Surprising? Remember, no kink shaming!”
“No no! It’s not like that it’s just-” he sighed through puffed cheeks, “wow, that’s fucking hot.”
“Thanks,” you giggled. “But that’s only the beginning.”
“Shit, there’s more? Holy fuck— please tell me.”
“Overstimulation & edging, I think that’s fucking hot too.” You could hear Jisung’s breath hitch on the phone, making you smirk. “I also really like choking and being able to see myself getting fucked; I think there’s a name for it, but I forgot.”
Not hearing his reply, you snorted before continuing. “And I have the biggest breeding kink ever. You know what I say: the messier the sex, the better.” You stopped when you heard Jisung take a deep breath.
“Whoa, Y/n. I-” he signed. “Let me calm down before I pop another boner ‘cause of you.”
You felt a surge of pride run through you. “What? Too much?”
“Oh, fuck no. Just insanely hot.”
You laughed, adjusting yourself to lay on your stomach. “Too bad. There was still a lot more I wanted to say,” you grinned. “You should tell me what you like then, baby. I need to know how I could please you too.”
“Hmm,” he thought to himself for a while. “So you already know that I like filthy, kinky sex too and that I usually take up the dom role but if I have to be honest. I’ve always wanted to try subbing.”
“Really?” you smiled evilly. ‘How interesting’
“Yup. I mean, I like being babied, so I think I’d really like it.”
“Oh? Would you like to try it sometime, baby boy?”
The line went dead silent for a while, filling you with worry. All of a sudden, when you were about to ask Jisung if he was okay, he whimpered. “Please?” he muttered, and you swore you could already see him pouting. Now it was your turn to take a deep breath.
“Hold on, baby boy. We both just finished touching ourselves not too long ago. Let’s do this another time.”
“Aww...Boo. You’re no fun,” Jisung’s usual cheeky self returned.
You rolled your eyes. “Sorry, but I already came 3 times tonight. Let my vagina rest, Sung.”
“Fair,” he laughed. “Does that mean I get to sub next time?”
“Hm… If you’re nice to me, then yes.”
“Oh baby, you know i’ll be the best behavior if it means getting topped by you.”
Instead of feeling horny, you only felt playfulness behind his words. “Good. I’ll be sure to give my baby a treat tomorrow then.” Jisung cheered giddily, fueling your own amusement. “By the way, what’s with the kink talk? I mean, I knew it was gonna come eventually but still.”
You couldn’t see it, but Jisung shrugged at your question. “Well, if we’re gonna be together, then I need to know everything about you that you enjoy.” Your face dropped, your chest swelling in adoration and alarm. Not hearing a response from you made him panic. “Uh- unless you don’t wanna be a thing! That-that’s fine too...i guess, w-whatever! I just—!”
Jisung stopped when he heard you giggle. “You’re so cute, Sung.” You softly said in content. “It’s getting late, baby. I’ll see you in the morning, hm?”
“Y-yeah! See you in Jung’s class, baby!”
You ended the call then slid your phone under your pillow. Pulling your blanket all the way up to your chin, you squirmed around until you were comfortable enough to sleep. The only thing in your mind was Jisung and how much your relationship with him developed way too fast. It was a little...frightening for your fragile heart.
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2nd Period; Mrs. Jung’s Renaissance Literature class. Probably the most boring class ever. Everyday, you regret ever signing up for it.
You begrudgingly walked to class, purposely taking small, slow steps so you don’t have to be there on time. However, as boring as the class is, the only reason why you find it tolerable is because it is the only class you share with Jisung. Looking up, you found yourself in front of your Literature class, much to your dismay. Grumbling, you stepped inside the room to find Jisung already at his (now) usual place at the back of the class, right beside you. ‘Weird,’ you thought, seeing how it’s usually you who comes to class before him. Jisung looked up, feeling eyes on him from the front of the class, and smiled when he saw it was just you. He gestured for you to come over to him; your heart racing as you stepped closer to him.
“Hey, baby,” he greeted happily, watching you take your seat beside him.
“Hi, Sungie,” you replied, setting your camera bag onto the floor under your legs and taking your laptop out of your bag. Feeling Jisung staring at you, you tched jokingly. “Am I that attractive that you can’t keep your eyes off of me?” you laughed. What you didn’t expect, however, was Jisung’s blunt response.
“Yes.”
“O-oh? Uh…”
“I thought I made it clear that I think you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen in my life,” he said truthfully, giving you a bright smile. Your eyes were wide, face heating up at his straight-forwardness. He threw you a flirty wink and chuckled, going back to sit up straight at his own seat. Flustered, you hid your face with your hoodie, tightening the drawstrings to further conceal your blush. From beside you, you could hear Jisung snort, trying not to laugh at you. Before you could scold him, the bell rang and Mrs. Jung entered the class.
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Jisung’s drowsy eyes wandered the whole room for the umpteenth time. His ears only shut out the mundane information his instructor was teaching. Something about a Scottish poet named George Lauder being responsible for the advancement of the steel industry or whatever? ‘Man, what does that have to do with the renaissance era?’ It’s only been 30 minutes since the class started and he already wanted to get out of here. No matter how hard he tried focusing on the lesson, the words only went through one ear and out the other. Needless to say, it way too uninteresting for him to retain anything.
His eyes then traveled to your hunched form. He had to resist the urge to pull out his phone and take a picture of your cute face all scrunched up in concentration, your figure engulfed by the oversized purple hoodie you were wearing. In the midst of his ogling, Jisung felt a gentle kick on his right leg. His eyes focused to finally notice you side eyeing him. It was as if you were telling him ‘pay attention or else’. All he did was grin and continued gawking at you.
You rolled your eyes, deciding to not mind him and try paying attention to Mrs. Jung; even if you yourself thought the class was boring as hell. You then feel a warm hand on your left thigh. Since it was just Jisung, you shrugged his hand off of you and typed in the shared doc you both created just to talk in this class. You typed:
‘What are you doing?’
Leaning over to his own screen, Jisung read the message on his laptop then replied.
‘babe i’m sorry but i’m so fucking bored’
‘Me too, but you gotta pay attention, baby boy’
‘hmm i love it when you call me baby boy ;)’
You side-glanced him with a ‘are you serious?’ look while he merely smirked, wiggling his eyebrows as if it would seduce you.
‘Funny. Don’t you dare get horny in the middle of class, Han Jisung!’
‘:)’
Jisung made a quiet sputtering noise as he put his head down onto the table. From the corner of your eyes, you could see him fiddling his platform sneakers with his feet. You restrained yourself from laughing at him. He looked exactly like an annoyed kid on the verge of throwing a tantrum. You shook your head. ‘The poor man is really trying’
Sneakily sliding your phone into your pocket, you stood up from your seat, the chair making a slight screech, catching Jisung’s—as well several other students’— brief attention, to head to the front of the class. Signing your name into the ‘restroom log’, you briefly pointed to the door when you made eye contact with Mrs. Jung, and went to the restroom. You grinned to yourself, thinking about how Jisung would react to his little gift.
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The painfully bored boy watched as you left the room. He pouted, his boredom only increased tenfold without you. He went back to his laptop, clicking on another tab to do something, when he felt his phone vibrate from his back pocket. He jolted. ‘Who the hell would text me while I’m in the middle of class?’ Jisung slowly took out his phone to check his notifications. Seeing your name on the screen, he stared in confusion.
‘Y/n? What’re you doing?’ Glancing to see if Mrs. Jung could see him, he unlocked his phone to read your message.
My baby 💘: Remember what I said last night?
Many thoughts, none of which were pg, raced through his mind. ‘What exactly are you talking about?’ He adjusted his keyboard to properly type with one hand.
Me: depends
are we talking about me subbing or your “gift”?
My baby 💘: Hmm sure. You’ll see 😉
Jisung nearly let out an audible ‘huh?’ because of your rather cryptic message. Not wanting to get caught, he hid his phone between his legs and waited for your next text. After almost a minute, this phone vibrated again. Big Mistake…
Strike 1!
‘God, Han Jisung, you fucking idiot!’ The shock unintentionally sent waves of pleasure between his legs, almost coaxing out a whimper from his mouth. He cleared throat, trying to ignore the erection that was threatening to pop up, and inconspicuously took his phone.
Strike 2!
If Jisung died at that very moment, then he wouldn’t even be mad. No regrets or anger whatsoever for his eyes was blessed with the most salacious photo of yourself. There you were, sweater pulled up to show off the lacy red bra that adorned your breasts—your arms deliberately squeezing them together to make them even more tempting than they already are—and pants pulled down enough to show a cheeky glimpse of the matching set of panties hugging your hips. Jisung swore he could feel his blood rushing to his dick and nose; he even went as far as wiping it in case he really did get a nosebleed.
‘Y/n, you minx...’’
Me: baby…
what you’re doing is very dangerous for the both of us
My baby 💘: Oh? Are you sure you didn’t forget what we talked about, baby boy
Jisung anxiously looked back and forth from his phone to his teacher. He covered his mouth when you sent another shameless nude to him. Now it was a picture of your hands cupping your breasts, your bra unclasped, threatening to slide off your shoulders. How you managed to take the photo was beyond Jisung’s comprehension. Though, now that he’s as turned on as a horny 13 year old boy on a porn site for the very first time, it’s safe to say that there was nothing on his mind except you, and you only.
He set his keyboard back to its default mode and put his head down, fingers hastily tapping on his phone to reply.
Me: come on baby
please don’t do this to me
i’m hard. i really popped a boner in the middle of class…
this is fucking embarrassing
Jisung just knew that you were laughing at him, finding great joy in his predicament. He subtly adjusted himself to do something about his hard-on. ‘So fucking embarrassing’ He blushed, biting his lip. He silently prayed to whatever deity out there that his erection was unnoticeable through his sweatpants; he was so grateful that you two sat at the back of the class. His phone buzzed again, it was another message from you.
Strike 3!
He’s out…
My baby 💘: It’s mommy for you today, baby boy 😉😉
Above was a picture of you...Bra hanging from your mouth...Your pearly teeth biting down on one of the straps...Pants off...Panties moved to the side...Showing off your dripping core to the camera...Your fingers threatening to slide inside your core…
Somebody please help this poor man. He might get a heart attack because of you. And if he doesn’t die from that, then it might be because of the rage of sexual frustration he felt when you came back with a seemingly innocent smile on your face. Jisung was just lucky nobody noticed his hard cock throbbing the rest of the session. More importantly, thank god Mrs. Jung is an oblivious old woman.
‘Y/n L/n, you FUCKING MINX!’
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159 notes · View notes
newtonsheffield · 3 years
Note
Honestly, I have no commitment or energy to write this BUT I found it humorous, so I'll bequeath it to you: the concept of a GIRLS ONLY Bridgerton chat - a necessary coping mechanism - but sometimes Drunk Bridgerton antics lead to massive f*ck ups - like the one time Sophie accidentally shared "HONESTLY - B IN BENEDICT STANDS FOR BOMB; THE D IS SELF EXPLANATORY" but she is so blasted on fine booze (compliments of Kate) share shared it with the FAM CHAT instead
Okay, You had to have known I couldn’t resist writing this as a ficlet, you sly dog, So I won’t apologise for writing this on my lunch break
The first time Sophie Beckett had been invited to Kate Bridgerton’s house for drinks she’d been a little apprehensive. Honestly because Kate was slightly intimidating, not that she was ever unkind, she was warm, and friendly, and she was the entire reason that had even met Benedict again so she really couldn’t complain. And Lucy Abernathy was terrifying in her own right as an heiress with more money than she knew what to do with but who worked and worked so that she felt useful. But Kate had been so kind when she’d said 
“It’s just something Lucy and I like to do! If we’re going to put up with the Bridgerton boys, We need to drink. And you’re one of us now.” She’d started to refuse, But Ben had sidled up to her and said 
“She’ll be there, Kate!” grinning with warmth at his Sister-in-law at having included his new Girlfriend in her tradition. And He’d said to Sophie on the way there “You’ll have fun! Lucy and Kate are great!” And he was right. Which is why, 3 years later they were still meeting monthly for drinks at Kate’s house following which Lucy and Sophie generally piled into the spare bedroom and slept it off.
Sophie had to admit, in hindsight that this was all Kate’s fault. She was unwilling to admit that her tolerance for alcohol had changed after having 2 children and so when she’d whipped out a bottle of vodka that Sophie was sure cost more than the apartment she’d been living in when she met Benedict, Sophie was again apprehensive. Kate had scoffed at her 
“What are you afraid is going to happen? Don’t be wimp Soph. Penelope would do it if she weren’t in Greece with Colin.” Sophie thought privately in the aftermath that truly, Kate had been right because she never would have thought this would have happened. 
A good few hours later, and Sophie could admit, she was... Well and truly plastered. Her head was fuzzy, and she could barely stand up straight, hell even her teeth felt numb. Lucy, normally so composed, seemed to be laying across Kate’s kitchen table talking quietly to herself, Kate was talking at full speed her hands flying everywhere, her drink sloshing out of her glass. 
“Someone’s phone just chimed!” Kate had said, a little loudly. moving clumsily over to check the phones lined up on the counter. “Does someone know a Gerald?! There’s a little glasses emoji next to it.” Kate said bemusedly. Lucy shot up suddenly
“Oh That’s Greg! Aren’t his glasses just... so fucking cute?!” Lucy said, slurring her words only a little, reaching her hand out for the phone, tapping away when Kate handed it to her. This caught Sophie’s interest,
“Why is he Gerald?” Lucy laughed loudly
“That’s what my Uncle calls him. He fucking hates Greg, I’m wasting my life apparently.” Sophie hummed sympathetically in response. And Lucy had said, turning to Kate 
“What do you have Anthony down as in your phone?” Kate had hummed 
“Ahhh We went classic: Father of my Children.” Lucy and Sophie cooed appreciatively “And before we were together it was just Dickhead.” Kate finished, a little primly and Sophie and Lucy hooted with laughter. And then the attention had turned back to Sophie. Lucy and Kate had their eyebrows raised expectantly at her and she’d immediately started blushing, felt her already flushed cheeks go even redder. 
“I’m going to decline to answer.” Sophie mumbled out, slurring her words. But it seemed Kate wasn’t going to let her get away with it that easily. 
“No! We showed you ours, you have to show yours! Fair’s fair Sophie!” And Sophie had to admit, the logic was sound. They’d stayed silent for several seconds before Sophie had cracked and said. 
“I can’t say it out loud, I’ll text it to the Bridgerton Wives Chat.” 
Lucy and Kate had both waited expectantly as she typed it out and Gasped when the message came through
Sophie Becket: I call him BD Bridgerton: B is for BOMBASS and the D is Self explanatory
Kate started hooting with laughter while and small smirk started on Lucy’s lips, Sophie could feel her cheeks overheating as they typed out their responses 
Kate Bridgerton: Holy Fuck Amazing Spectacular Groundbreaking Never been seen before Spectacular 😂
Lucy Abernathy-Bridgerton: Oh my god! He painted you like one of his french girls didn’t he, You sly bitch! 
Laughter filled the kitchen and they’d gone to bed soon after.
Sophie awoke the next morning with her head pounding, Lucy snoring lightly next to her, in Kate’s spare room, She looked blearily around the room and was surprised to see Kate piled in next to Lucy rather than down the hall with Anthony. Sophie could feel her phone buzzing in her pocket urgently, and shifted with a groan to see what had happened. And her heart stopped. 13 new messages in Bridgerton Family Chat and 3 missed calls. There, in bold black letters is her message to Kate and Lucy and their responses and then:
Violet Bridgerton: Ladies. You may be in the wrong chat.
Gregory Bridgerton: 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Sophie, Truly Fucking outstanding!
Eloise Crane: I woke Phillip up at 1am just to show him this. I guess we finally know what BeneDICK stands for
Daphne Basset: The D is for Disappointment isn’t it. Tragic. 
Francesca Bridgerton: Well, Well, Well. Frankly I’m just relieved it’s not Big Dick Bridgerton. 
Colin Bridgerton: Would be a little hard to tell Who she’s referring to there though Frankie 😉. Back me up Pen. 
Penelope Featherington: I will do no such thing. Bloody annoyed I missed this meeting of the Bridgerton Wives Club though!
Hyacinth Bridgerton: Appalled, shocked, truly disgusted, and Yet: Fucking Yes Sophie! Get some! 
Anthony Bridgerton: Can we end this conversation, come and pick up your wives, my children are sleeping.
Violet Bridgerton: Anthony Don’t be annoyed because your brother knows how to treat a lady! 
Anthony Bridgerton: Kate is very satisfied, Thank you!
Sophie avoided Bridgerton Family functions for several weeks, and when she returned, it was to a round of applause. 
220 notes · View notes
ddaengyoonmin · 3 years
Text
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Pairing: Single dad / childhood best friend!Jungkook x Reader
Genre: !!ANGST!!, smut.
Word count: 7.1k
Warnings:(issa dark oneee)  Mentions of abuse, abusive parent, underage drinking and drug use, Jungkook is an ass, lots of descriptions of smoke and cigarettes in an unhealthy way. Mentions of vomiting.  Toxic behaviors in general; Rough play; handjob; edging; Sub!Jungkook; Dom!Reader; choking; biting; overstimulation; slight mentions of blood; just all around physical and emotional pain definitely not #goals.
a/n: definitely cried a bit writing this.  This story ended up becoming super important to me and something I think I’ve been holding in for a while.  A lot of this story is based on my own life and personal experiences, which is why the first part is a highschool backstory.  Absolutely nothing sexual happens until they are both adults, the first part of the story was just a necessary cathartic therapy moment for me to get out :_)
(Also I tried to make this a gender neutral insert, but this is my first time doing that so kindly let me know if there's anything I can do to improve on that!)
Song inspiration: Kathleen- Catfish and the Bottlemen; Rango- Catfish and the Bottlemen; Anything-Catfish and the Bottlemen
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--------
He was completely insane. It never made you like him any less though.
When you’d first heard Jungkook was back in town you had so many different emotions running through you, you thought you’d faint at the feeling.
------
When you were still in highschool, he had been your closest friend.  You spent practically every day after school with Jungkook, smoking in your car, driving around through cemeteries laughing about something funny one of your teachers had said, or the security guard who’d tried to chase you down the halls for skipping 2nd hour earlier in the day.  There never seemed to be a dull moment when he was around.
 When you’d first met him, insane and reckless were never words that would’ve come into your mind.
He was a grade younger than you and had seemed to fly mostly under your radar through all your highschool years.  It wasn’t until the second half of your Junior year that you'd even noticed he existed.
You’d shown up to the first day of track practice the way you always had, scanning over the new freshman on the team.  You’d mistaken him for a freshman and greeted him as such.  He nervously and shyly corrected you that he was actually a Sophomore just searching around for something new to try out.  
About half way through the practice you noticed a group of your teammates had swarmed around Jungkook and he looked to be almost in tears as he cowered under their words and faces, looking up at them all.
He was a small child, not very muscular and extremely geeky looking.  You found it endearing though, and found the classmates picking on him infuriating.
You stormed across the track over to where they stood demanding to know their problem, they all were also a grade younger than you and seemed to be intimidated by you.  How could they not be with the star of the track team chewing them out like they were being condemned to hell.
After they left, two big saucer eyes stared up at you, tears still slightly pooled up in his lower lid, he wiped them off with the back of his hand.
“Thank you.” He sniffled. He explained that everyone in his grade always picked on him like that.  He didn’t really have any friends, and everyone seemed to think of him as the weird kid.
After that day the two of you were inseparable.  
You went to the city fair together on the last day of school that year, and that was the first time it happened.
You were supposed to be at a school sanctioned celebration, you’d told your mom that's where you’d be.
But here you were sitting in your car with Jungkook before going to the fair, the two of you giggling as he messily tried to roll a joint, swearing that his older brother had taught him how.
You felt yourself bleeding guilt for lying to your parents.  But, how could anything that sweet Jungkook convinced you to do be bad?
Stoned out of your mind the two of you ran hand in hand around the fair, giggling and riding your favorite rides too many times.  That was the first time you realized, he was truly your best friend.
That summer had you pulling a 180 on everything you’d ever thought you were capable of.
Before you knew it, you were sneaking out of your house multiple times a week to drive around with Jungkook and smoke, listening to music and feeling free.
———
It was now the middle of summer.  You were sitting in your car while Jungkook was filling up gas for you.  
Two girls and a man approached Jungkook and started chatting.  You found that odd, but then again, Jungkook had a habit of getting into conversations with strangers everywhere you went.
You never really noticed it til then, but at some point, he had really changed from the boy you met.  He was more outgoing, he was dressing better…
A tap on your window surprised you.
“Hey y/n! These guys are throwing a party at their place, let's just park your car here and go! They said just hop in!”
You felt your jaw drop a bit as you opened your mouth to protest.  But he was staring back at you so excited, so hopeful that you’ll join him.  You agreed, against all better judgement and that sick feeling in your stomach that you shouldn’t be getting into a car with strangers.
Jungkook whispered in your ear as the two of you walked to your car. “I told them we were 22” He chuckled.  Your heart dropped a bit, more sick feelings coming on.  
“Okay.” You managed to nod and agree somehow.  Jungkook excitedly opened the door to their backseat, as if he did this kind of thing all the time.
You were both lucky, the strangers were not murderers, though there was no party, just them and some beer and a hookah in a messy apartment living room.
None of it felt right, it didn’t really feel like a fun time.  Jungkook though seemed to think he was at the party of the century.  He chugged the beer they gave him in no time and was up messing with their stereo trying to get on some “PARTY MUSIC” he screamed out.
In no time at all that firecracker of a boy was wasted and trying to dance up on their table.
It wasn’t long before the apartment owners realized their mistake, this child was completely off the rails drunk.  One of them tried to bring him down from the table and he somehow managed to kick their glass hookah entirely across the room.
There was a still silence as you all looked at the shattered glass on the ground.  You had your hand clasped over your mouth looking from the glass to Jungkook.
Jungkook’s eyes were wide at you, the smile that grew on his face seemed ill fitting for the moment, as the apartment owners were obviously furious.
“Run!” Jungkook screamed out in a laugh, rushing over to you and grabbing you tightly by your wrist and pulling you out the front door.
Then the two of you ran, you just kept running down the street till your lungs gave out and you collapsed on the ground on a grassy patch in front of a gas station.
Jungkook’s chest was heaving but he still managed a loud laugh, his eyes crinkling as he held his stomach, rolling over onto his side.
“Jungkook.  That was insane…” You gasped out.
“That was fun.” he chuckled, seeming to be unphased by it all with a casual smile, rolling back onto his back and staring up at the sky.
And that was the moment you realized how crazy he was.
After that, things like this were common with Jungkook.  You were his protector at school and his partner in mischief and crime.
The two of you ended up both quitting track together, against your parent’s scolding and the coaches yelling about losing one of their star runners.  
You knew you wouldn’t be a star that year though, with all the smoking you’d been doing and you’d skipped out completely on practicing throughout the summer.  It just seemed pointless.  And you wanted more time with Jungkook before you had to leave…
———
You found yourself getting in increasingly more dangerous situations.  He’d have you take him to parties at nearby university dorms, he refused to learn to drive, part of you felt like it was just because he liked you driving him around.  
He always lied about his age, that never sat right with you.
Sometimes you found yourself gripping both hands on a beer bottle so tightly you thought your fingers might snap while he was getting talked to by every person that walked by. People loved him at first glance every time you went out together. But they didn’t know him.  
They didn’t get to see his real chaos, they never learned the lies he told them, they’d never be able to understand him.  Not like you thought you knew him.
You knew things weren’t good at home for Jungkook.  He had an older brother he was close with named Jin, and a young sister named Jill, both very lovely, but his dad was a real piece of work.  In the whole time you’d been friends with Jungkook you’d only been to his house twice, he avoided ever taking you there if he could.
You found out why when one of the times Jungkook had thought it’d be safe to bring you over for a moment, his dad got home from work early.
“What’s this shit.” His dad had grumbled at Jungkook, pointing to the light eyeliner he had around his eyes.  Jungkook had recently started to wear makeup, he did a good job of making it look natural, but today he’d gone a little heavy on the eyeliner.
“Nothing.” Jungkook muttered, turning his back to his dad.
Apparently that was the wrong move, and all you could do was stand there, frozen.
Jungkook and you have never talked about that day.  But it was traumatic for you both.  You held him close that night as he cried in your arms, sitting in the parking lot of your favorite park to smoke in.
His eye now even more black than it had been with just the eyeliner, which was now smudged across his face due to his tears.
You vowed to never let anyone hurt him ever again.  No matter what.
---------
Months later Jungkook was taking pictures of you, for your senior pictures.  Talking about how you’d be gone next year but you’d still stay in touch.  Graduation was hanging over you like a dark cloud.  You didn’t want things to change between you and Jungkook.
As much trouble as you’d gotten in, as much as your grades had dropped this year, as much as your parents gave him judgemental looks any time he was around, you loved him so much.
---------
It was the last month of school.
He was gone.
Somehow his father had managed to get your phone number and you were hearing an entire vocabulary of cuss words.
“I know you’re hiding him from me.  Where the fuck is he?’ the man growled on the other end of the phone.
You wish you knew.
But he just didn’t show up to school that day.
He didn’t text you like he always did to say that he was ready to be picked up.
No voicemail.
Not a word.
And now even his dad was calling you.  The worry that you felt had you not paying attention to one word of your classes all day.
And the next day.
And the next day.
And the rest of the week.
Until next monday.  He was just...there.
“What the fuck Jungkook!” You punched him in the shoulder.  He looked like a mess, his hair hadn’t been cut or washed in a while, and he looked like he was wearing the remnants of makeup from a few days ago.
He chuckled “I decided to just hop a train out of town for a while” He shrugged “fuck it.”
“And you couldn’t tell your best friend where you went? Do you realize I thought you were dead?” You snapped at him.
He shrugged again. “It's fine.  It was fun!” He smiled a giant toothy grin.
Your blood was boiling.  How could he not even say sorry? How could he act like this didn’t affect you at all.  It was infuriating.
You didn’t talk to him for a week.
------
You made up with Jungkook, but things never went back to normal.  You were always waiting for him to just up and leave again.  To just abandon you and act like nothing is even the matter…
You’d graduated and it was summer, you thought like last summer you’d be hanging out together most every day.
But, he stopped asking.
When you did hang out with him, he’d continuously mention this new group of friends he’d found in the town he ended up in on his little adventure.  You’d think they were celebrities the way he gushed about them.
There was a girl of course, she was ‘the most beautiful mess he’d ever seen’.  You found yourself holding back a sob at those words, because you knew exactly what he meant.  Because it was the same as what you saw when you looked at him.
He was increasingly spending more time with his new friends than you, and school would be starting for you soon...maybe it was a good thing.  He was still in highschool and you were becoming an adult, he needed friends in his grade.
That didn’t make it hurt less though.
Only about a month into summer, with a simple text Jungkook invited himself over, asking you to order some pizza and said he’d be staying the night.
In your new apartment you’d gotten to yourself after graduation, Jungkook now smoking with you on your couch, the two of you chuckling about the show you were watching.  Nothing seemed wrong at that moment, it all seemed finally back to normal between you two.
And that was the last time you had seen Jungkook for 4 years.
------------
You’d checked your phone what seemed like every minute for the first month he was gone.
Even texting his brother Jin many times and getting no reply.
You waited for him to come back with some wild and crazy story of new trouble he’d gotten himself into.  You figured he had to come back, he still had school, and with Jin in college he’d never leave his little sister alone with that monster right?
But as months continued to pass, it was clear he wasn’t coming back.  All of his social media platforms had been deleted or you’d been blocked.
There weren’t enough tears in your body for how hard you cried yourself to sleep each night when you realized he really was gone.  You felt your body heaving against your mattress with each loud sob.  Your head was beginning to throb from the tears and from the stress of knowing you really had lost him.
Not that he was ever yours.
That was something you should’ve realized sooner.
Jungkook would never belong to anyone or any place.
 You chuckled at a memory of skipping class, sitting in your car in the school parking lot, his wild eyed smiling expression when he’d pass you back your cigarette completely smoked to the end.
“How!?” You’d smack his shoulder with a laugh. “It was only half smoked and I handed it to you for a hit!!! How is it gone!”
He’d wink, laugh and lean back in his seat.  “Just trying to die quicker.”
------------
You’d graduated from your university this year.  Life had pretty much gone according to plan for you that way, you had to retake one class which really wasn’t bad considering how much you’d fallen off at the end of highschool.
You were finishing up your shift at the chain restaurant you’d been working at the past year.  As you were clearing off dishes sighing over another table stiffing you on a tip, you felt your phone buzz in your pocket.
Quickly you took the dishes into the kitchen to the dishwasher and went to the bathroom to check your phone.
It was a text from a former classmate you’d hung out with a few times.  You and Jungkook would smoke with him occasionally, though Jungkook seemed closer to him than you.  It didn’t surprise you, Jungkook made friends so easily when they weren’t in his own grade.  
Jungkook…
What was surprising was that it’d actually been a bit since you’d thought about Jungkook in a way that made your heart ache this way.  It’d been years, he was nothing more than a story you’d tell to new friends.  That wild child that you hung around with in highschool, the one who got you into so much trouble.  People’s eyes would widen at some of the stories you’d told (If only they knew the ones you didn’t dare repeat)
“You could’ve died!” They’d say.  
Or “He seems like he was just a toxic friend.”
Some even would ask you if you think maybe he could’ve been a sociopath.
You'd laugh and say it was probably true.  As much as you had hung out with Jungkook, you never quite felt like that love you held for him as your friend was ever returned.
The older you got and the more you looked back on it, Jungkook never did anything but use you.  
You drove him everywhere, you bought him dinners, you bought the cigarettes and weed, you defended him from his classmates( even though you’d seen him stab a man with a pen at a party once, over simply interrupting him.)
And what did Jungkook give to you?
Chaos.  Trouble.  Pain.  Hurt…
You closed your eyes and gulped.  You want him out of your head.  But when you open your eyes and stare back down to the text on your phone, that wish is impossible.
‘Jungkook is back’ It read.
A chill spread across your entire body and your phone clattered to the floor.  You didn’t even think about the cracked screen you’d likely caused.  Your mind was stuck on one word, one name.
Jungkook.
Jungkook…
You actually felt sick, luckily you were already in the bathroom, rushing into one of the stalls you emptied your stomach, tears forming in your eyes you collapsed with your back to the cold painted cement of the bathroom wall.
He's back.
What does that even mean?
While Jungkook had been a geeky little kid in his classmates eyes for most of his life, his reputation had started to get around.  When he went missing he was the talk of the town.  Everyone seemed to have their own theory.
“I heard he ran off with a meth dealer.” … “No, I heard he’s in florida fighting alligators.” …. “That's bullshit he's obviously finally gotten himself in juvi!” they’d all speculated.
The worst part of hearing all of that, was that you could only speculate too.
He’s back…
A second text came in.  You gulped and looked down to see a link to an instagram page kookymonster69.  Of course it was that, you chuckled.
You clicked the link and it sent you over to his page.  There were only three pictures posted, he really had just come back...you’d thought maybe he’d just blocked you so somehow this was a relief.
The first photo was a selfie, and WOW.  He did not look like the small lanky boy that you had been friends with.
He was wearing a loose fitting tank top that showed off his massive biceps and the tattoos that covered his arms and hands.  His hair was still jet black but he seemed to have learned how to perfectly style it, and his eyeliner was more on point than it's ever been.
“Fuck.” You whispered under your breath. Your heart beat fast right before it sank at the second picture.
It was him with a child that looked to be around 3 years old, the caption reading ‘My lil mini me’.
Oh…
Your mind flashed back to the girl he’d always talked about, the time he’d been spending with his new friends instead of you.
Of course.
Of course that's where he went.
But why couldn’t he tell you?  Why would he think you wouldn’t want to be involved in his kids life?
You cursed again under your breath and without thinking you pressed the follow button.
“I-” You gasped.  You really hadn’t meant to do that.  But, maybe it's good he knows that you know he's back…
--------
Two days later you got a notification.  Kookymonster69 is following you on instagram.
Within minutes a dm was popping up on your screen.
“Long time no talk huh?” it read.
You wanted to throw your phone against the wall.  Though that would be the second act of unwarranted phone violence because of this little shit. So you held back.  Theres only so much in your life he’s allowed to fuck up.
How could he think that was what you wanted to hear after all this time.  No different than when he’d hopped a train out of town and came back like nothing was out of the ordinary.
No apology.  No “You must’ve been so worried”
You started to type out a message telling him off.  Asking him what the fuck was wrong with him, just dissapearing and coming back into your life like this.
You maxed out the word count on your text and re read it back over.  Sighing, you deleted every word and sent a simple.  
“Yeah...it really has been a while.  How are you?”
Damnit.  You groaned and tossed yourself onto your side on your couch.  
He replied almost instantly.  
“Better lately...I have a son.”
“I saw, he looks a lot like you.  I always knew if you had a kid they’d look just like you lol called it” you felt a smile grow on your face, despite every bone in your body reminding you of who he was, and what he’s done...here you were letting your cheeks catch fire once again at his words.
“He does. lol he’s so much smarter than me though already.”
“I don’t doubt that ;) “
It was about ten minutes and he hadn’t replied.  You knew ten minutes wasn’t a long time, nothing compared to four years.  Yet somehow those ten minutes were the longest moments you’d ever experienced.
“I wanna see you again.” the words read on your phone.  You felt your stomach tie itself up into a tight knot.  
Bad idea.  Bad idea.  You should have never even replied.
Why were you digging up the past?
You quickly turned your phone over and groaned.
Letting him back in would likely only bring you more pain.  Why the hell were you actually considering it.
This time it was your turn to wait a while before replying.  You were weighing pro’s and con’s lists in your brain and though the con’s list kept growing, the Pro list’s first and only item seemed to top it all.  ‘Its Jungkook.’
---------
So here you were.  Waiting in your car outside of the address he’d texted you to pick him up at.  You were parked outside of a cheap looking apartment building only about five minutes from where you lived.  You wondered how long he’d been here...this close to you without you knowing.  
You sucked in a deep breath when you saw him walk out the front door.   He was wearing an oversized grey baggy t-shirt and tight black skinny jeans ripped at the knee where you could see the start of a tattoo peeking out.  He had on silver chains and his hands were covered in rings, he looked like some kind of goth model.
You rolled the window down and called over to him.
“Not sure if you remember my car.” You spoke lightheartedly trying to offset the nervous feeling, and another feeling you were still trying to sort out.
He belly laughed and smoothly opened your passenger door and hopped in.
“How could I forget!” his dark eyes were wide and excited as always, his charming smile you’d once been so used to now making your brain practically glitch out. “I can’t believe you still have it.”
You shyly shook your head.  “Broke college student” You chuckled. “So what are we doing? You said you just wanted to chill…”
Jungkook smiled and relaxed back into your seat, like he’d done a million times, so naturally.  Though he didn’t look like the same small boy you once knew.
“Yeah, like old times.” He winked and pulled out a small baggie of weed.
You rolled your eyes and smiled.
“C’mon don’t tell me you quit.” He teased.
“Of course I didn’t.” You chuckled.
“Good y/n.” He smiled cutely, booping your nose with one finger, and you felt your heart stop.
Your face must’ve fallen or had some sort of expression to let him know he’d affected you, because he immediately punched your shoulder as if to snap you out of your thought.
“Give me a cigarette then and let's go.” He demanded joyfully, banging on the dash of your car and giving you an “onward” motion with his arm for you to start driving.
You drove around for about an hour, smoking cigarettes and passing a joint back and forth.
He didn’t talk much about himself or what he’d been up to and he also didn’t ask much about you either.  When you’d bring up questions you got short replies that didn’t seem very satisfying.
“So are you still with your kids mom?” You asked him as he was passing you an almost fully smoked joint.
“Hell no!” he coughed out smoke with his words.  “Evil.” he muttered and shook his head.
“Evil?”
“Yup.” he nodded, grabbing another cigarette from your pack without asking.  Just as he always used to.  What's yours was always his back then, but right now his casual way of falling back into old routines was hurting, you couldn’t stand it anymore.
You pulled into the parking lot of you and Jungkook’s favorite park you’d hangout at.  You pressed the brakes suddenly and aggressively bringing the car to a half.
“Woaah.” Jungkook giggled as he let out a tiny puff of smoke.
“You left.” You felt yourself about to explode.  Trying to hold it in was becoming impossible.
“You just LEFT.” You yelled the last word, startling him and making him cower back against the window.
“Y/n…” His eyes widened as he gave you his best puppy dog face, this was the first time you’d probably ever really yelled at him.  He’d been scolded plenty of times, but you were always soft on your Jungkook.  He didn’t deserve that though, you might not have been dating, but he’d broken your heart and you deserved an explanation.
“Why didn’t you tell me?  How could you just leave me without a word?” You felt tears forming in the corners of your eyes.
It was silent in your car for a while.
Jungkook brought the last hit of his cigarette to his mouth shakily.
“No.” He shook his head, doing something that always gave you the chills. The way he could turn his cutesy eyes into stone cold daggers in an instant used to make your heart drop into your stomach.  Though right now you were a bit too worked up to feel anything but anger at him.
“No?”
“Yeah.  No.  I don’t need to tell you shit.” He shook his head, his eyes not meeting yours.
“Right.” You huffed, sinking into your seat.  “Why would you.  Why would you tell your best friend what's going on in your life right?” you snapped and realized the words building inside had reached your tongue faster than your brain could tell you to stop.
“Though I guess maybe we never really were best friends? Maybe I just thought that because you hung around me so much.  But you never actually gave a shit about me did you?”
Jungkook’s eyes were widening and he was cowering further away from you.
“I would’ve done anything for you Jungkook, you know that? Died for you, killed for you.  Do you realize how many times I took the fall and got in trouble for things you did? And you just…let me.  You always just let me get hurt for you, let me ruin myself for you. And you never cared. And then you just...left.”
Your last words came out as a choked up whisper.
Jungkook was staring at the cigarette in his hand that had gone out, twirling it between his tattoo’d fingers and pursing his lips together tightly.
“Why’d you keep hanging around me then if you hated it so much.” He grumbled, seeming genuinely hurt by your words.
You sighed.  Hating that now you felt the need to comfort *him*. You shook your head.  No. He doesnt get to get away with that.
“I guess I don’t know.” You muttered glaring at him.
His eyes met yours for a moment but on seeing your anger they quickly flitted away.
“You seemed helpless.” You answered after a moment. “That's why.  I thought you needed me.  I thought I was helping you by being there for you.  I didn’t realize you were destroying me.”
At that Jungkook’s gaze was serious and direct at you.
“Destroying you?”
“Nevermind.  This was just a mistake.” You murmured starting to put your car into reverse to leave.  A large tattoo’d hand pressed onto yours stopping you.
“Hey.” He spoke seriously.
You stopped and looked over at him, already visibly exhausted from this conversation.
“Just…” He grabbed another cigarette from your pack and lit it, sucking in a large hit.  “I missed you, trust me.” he grumbled.
“Oh wow, well at least you missed me the four years you chose to not talk to me.” You hissed out slightly getting in his face, making him flinch back.
“I’m not gonna say sorry.” He whispered, his doe eyes staring at you intensely, his eyes flicking back and forth between your eyes and what seemed to be your lips.
Of course he’s not.  Of course he does know that's what you want.  You had an urge to grab his face in your hands and just shake some sense into him and scream ‘Why can’t you just have some normal human emotions you complete sociopath.’
Instead your body’s next choice of action was one that neither of you were expecting.
As if your lips were magnets, yours fell onto his quickly and perfectly, snapping the two of you in place together.  
You pulled back with a gasp, holding your lower lip between your thumb and index finger, feeling mortified at yourself.
Jungkook on the other hand had a smirk slowly growing on his face, his eyes mischievous, likely knowing this was his “in” back to your good side.  
The fact that you knew that's probably what he was thinking should’ve been enough to have you stop right there.  But the way his eyes were now scanning you up and down in admiration was too intoxicating, too addicting, you’d missed him too much.
“Do your seats still fold all the way down.” He pointed to your backseat with a chuckle.
You smacked his shoulder. “And why would that matter to you.” You teased, almost completely forgetting how angry you’d just been with him.  Damnit, how did he do that.
He shrugged with a knowing laugh, his eyes crinkling up cutely, bringing his still lit cigarette to his lips.  
“You wanna get even?” He glanced at the back seat again.
“Get even?”
“Yeah.” He winked “You seem like you’ve got a lot of pent up steam at me there.  I'm just suggesting some sanctioned punishment-” the corners of his lips curled up mischievously at the word. ”-so maybe you’ll feel a bit less upset at me.”
Bad idea.  Bad idea.  Those words were playing on a loop in your brain.
Trying to remind you of every bit of hurt and pain he’d caused you, and how if you slept with him, you knew that pain would only hurt worse the next time.
Jungkook was already getting out of the car and putting the seats of your station wagon down flat into a makeshift bed.
You had your fingers clenched tightly around your steering wheel, knuckles turning white.  This is Jungkook, not just a one night stand, not a new fling.  This is *Jungkook*.  You knew there was a higher chance than not that you’d be filled with regret after this.
But there he was now laying out in the back seat of your car, staring at you with a cute and enticing look.  “y/n.” He spoke sweetly.  “You can come punish me now” He winked.
You couldn’t deny to yourself how much you wanted him.
You took one more deep breath in and without taking another thought to it you rushed into the back seat with him.
He was laying on his side with his head propped up on his hand.
“Took you long enough.” he teased.
Before he could say anything else you were on top of him, pushing him onto his back and pressing him to the seat with one hand and putting another one over his mouth.
“You’re definitely going to have to shut up.” You growled.  
His eyes lit up at the fire you’d shown him.  He’d never seen you like this before, his sweet y/n that always looked after him, looked out for him, picked him up every time he needed it.
He knew he fucked up.  But life itself was fucked up, nothing in life is fair and no one gets what they truly deserve.  Jungkook especially.  So why would he owe anyone an apology?
This was the best he could give to you.
He nodded, agreeing to be quiet for you.
You slowly let your hand fall from his mouth and replaced it with your lips, melting into him, you were kissing him like you’d been starved for it.  Your fingers started to tangle in his hair, messing it up and tugging slightly.  
Jungkook's hand reached around your waist, pulling you against him, moving down to your hips and trying to get you to grind against him.
You quickly reached down and grabbed his wrist, pinning it above his head and shaking your head slightly as you gave him a few more pecks.
“Don’t get greedy.  You can’t be patient after all this time?” You scolded.
He stuck out his lower lip in a pout, taking in the sight of you straddling him, looking down at him with a mix of emotions still flowing through you.  
You went back to kissing him, pinning his other hand above his head and after a bit, rewarding him by pressing your core down onto his and giving him the friction he’d wanted.
He let out a soft and needy whimper as you did.
You felt butterflies filling your stomach at his noise.  It was so gentle and sweet, and to know that you were the one making Jungkook feel this way was a sense of pride you’d never felt before.
You stacked his wrists one on top of the other and held them in one hand, your other hand now slipping between where your bodies met and palming him over his jeans.
He hissed out a sharp breath and a small “fuck” fell from his lips involuntarily.
“Does that feel good baby?” You teased him pulling back from your kisses and studying his face, knowing the answer was obvious.
He bit down on his lower lip and his eyes were clenched tightly as he nodded.
Your fingers fumbled slightly but didn’t take you too long to undo his jeans and slip your hand inside, now running your hand slowly along his length over his boxers.  His hips lifted slightly off of the seat, pressing up against your hand desperately wanting more.
At that you gave him a slight squeeze, causing him to yelp out.  His eyes were wide staring up at you.
“I said don’t get greedy.  Remember, this is supposed to be for me.” You chuckled at his disappointed face. “You’ve always been so fucking selfish and greedy.” You gently kissed his lips, before roughly taking his lower one between your teeth and biting harshly.
“Fuck.” he hissed, a small drop of blood now forming where you’d nipped at him, but he only seemed more hungry for you now.
You tugged on the hem of his pants and boxers. “Off now.” You demanded.
He wasted no time after you released his wrists, he tugged down his clothes, pulling up his shirt slightly and letting his length fall against his toned lower abs.
He was so beautiful, smiling up at you with a playful look.  It was an absolute joke for you to think you were actually in charge here.  You were wrapped around his finger and you always had been.
He looked absolutely mouthwatering.  But you didn’t want to let it get to his head.  This was supposed to be payback.
You went back to kissing him, that way you didn’t have to look at him, that way you didn’t risk saying the words that you shouldn’t...
With a free hand you took his length into your hand, letting the weight of him sit in your palm for a moment before slowly tickling your fingers up and down.  He twitched under your touch and his kisses faltered as he let out a small gasp.
“y/n no more teasing.” He moaned out.
“I thought I said shut up.” Your hand was back over his mouth, but you decided to indulge him for a moment, pumping your hand up and down his length a few times.  You could feel his moans vibrate against the palm of your hand still clamped down on his lips.
You let him go and slowly moved yourself down so that his cock was positioned right in front of your face.  Letting your tongue lay flat against the base with pressure you licked a long stripe up his cock.  When you got to the tip you flicked your tongue a few times right under his head.  His hips reflexively moved up at that, begging you to take him fully in your mouth.
Instead you “tsk’d” at him a few times, loosely holding his cock in your hand and not moving.
“It's no fun just sitting there waiting is it?” You asked. “How do you think I felt waiting for you for years.” You lightly slapped the tip of his cock with your hand not holding it.
“AH!” He yelled out “Hey!” he strained his neck to be able to give you a shocked expression.
“Too far?” You cocked an eyebrow at him.
He thought for a moment, then shook his head, laying back down.  “No.  No it's not that I don’t like it.” He chuckled. “Just...it's you.  I never thought you’d be like this in bed.”
You were suddenly moving up to face him, your hand grabbing the sides of his neck tightly. “You don’t know me anymore.” You growled.  “You made sure of that by cutting me out of your life for four fucking years.” your grip on his neck tightened slightly before you released him.  
He gasped in a deep breath when you pulled away, looking up at you in awe.  
You moved your hand back between his legs now pumping quickly, twisting over his head when you’d get to it.  You ate up every moan that you pulled from his lips, they were yours, you’d caused every single one and they were yours to keep forever.
Right before it looked like he was going to cum, you pulled your hand away, leaving his cock untouched and throbbing.
“No..” He whimpered, “Please please.” His needy whines were so cute.
“But why should you get to cum?” You teased him.
He pouted dramatically. “Y/n…” He spoke sweetly “Cuz you love me. Make me cum because you love me.” He smiled a wide and precious smile.
Fuck.
Your mouth hung open at his words.  Of course he knew you loved him.
All the easier to use you.
Because that made it all the harder for you to say no to him.
Letting your forehead rest against his, you brought your hand back to his length, letting your fingers drag against his soft skin as you gripped him.  
You could see a small smirk on his face, as his breathing became even more unsteady, his moans catching in his throat as he panted heavily.
“Oh my god that feels so fucking good.” He groaned out. “Fuck.” His hands were gripping the back of the front seat that his head was pressed up against, his muscles flexing as he tightened his grip unable to contain how good you were making him feel.  
His abs were clenched and his hips were lifting off of the seat for you as he desperately fucked himself into your hand.
“I-I’m cumming.” He gasped out, his eyes met yours as he came, his mouth falling completely open and noises resembling your name were being muttered as his hips jerked and his cock twitched in your hand, spurting ropes of cum onto his stomach.
You didn’t stop moving your hand around him, waiting for him to get so sensitive that he had to pull your arm away, both of you laughing.
You rolled over next to him, turning your head to face his.  
He was facing the top of the car, eyes closed and he had a big smile on his face, seeming very satisfied with himself.
“Even?” He finally opened his eyes, turning to you with a bright grin.
You chuckled.
It probably would be asking too much to expect Jungkook to see the flaw in his logic here.  Once again, he’d gotten you to give him everything, for nothing in return, and he wanted to call that his apology.
You shook your head at him.
“No.  But I do feel a little better.”
He nodded, seeming to somehow take that as a positive.
“You’re good at that.” He sat up, taking his shirt off and using it to wipe off his stomach.
“Thanks…” You muttered.  Here it was, the regret setting in.  The feelings of ‘what the fuck did I just do’.  Even worse was the feeling of knowing now that you had, all he had to do was say the word, and you’d be right back there again.
You exited the backseat of the car quickly, rushing to grab a cigarette from your glove compartment, your fingers shaky as you brought the lighter up to the tip.  Flicking it many times but not getting a flame.
“Fuck!” You yelled, chucking the lighter as far as you could, managing to make it over a fence and into the park.  
Jungkook had just gotten out of the back seat in time to witness your little display.  He didn’t say anything, simply grabbing another lighter from the front seat along with a cigarette for himself and walking it over to you.
You let him light your cigarette and the two of you stood for a minute in silence.
“Does this mean you’re actually back…” You whispered softly, almost not wanting to even ask, not wanting to know if it wasn’t the answer you were hoping to hear.
Maybe Jungkook knew that.  Maybe that’s why he didn’t say anything at all.
He never told you he loved you, he didn’t even try and make you feel loved.
Maybe it was good that way, it might make it a bit easier when he leaves again.
Maybe it was better that way, it was kinder than being lied to.
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