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desertno3 · 3 years

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everything comes back to you (sean wallace x fem!reader)

Sean Wallace is the love of your life and had been ever since you were both sixteen. This is why, in the aftermath of his father’s murder, you do everything you can to make sure no one lays a hand him.

5.4k words.

A/N: To think this all came from me watching this scene of Joe from Volume (2012) and thought… I need to write about bb Sean. There’s also this post which is mostly what was in my head when I wrote this. Also, I was going to say Sean being soft around the people he loves is my own personal headcanon but like… it is actual canon, lmao. It’s so easy to forget because the man is cold most of the time. Anyway, I clearly have too many thoughts about this character. Enjoy. (also formatting on tumblr is shit so if you want to read this with the formatting I intended, head over here to AO3)

prologue.

“What the hell are you up to?” Sean demands as he watches you bustle around your shared bedroom, effectively turning it upside down as you stuff your belongings into a travel bag.

“Business,” You say, hardly pausing to look at him.

“Business?” He scoffs like he doesn’t believe you. You don’t blame him. Finn died mere days ago and every day since then you’d been acting strange. Between consoling Sean and helping the Wallace family with the funeral arrangements, you’d been answering calls at random hours of the day and going off to meetings even though nearly all business operations under the Wallace Corporation had been halted. Sean had been too caught up in everything to question it but now that you’d just told him that you were flying off to god knows where for alleged business, he was suspicious.

“You know something, don’t you?”

You don’t reply.

“Tell me.”

When you remain silent, you see his jaw clench in anger but that’s not what makes your heart squeeze painfully in your chest. What gets to you is the hurt you can see in his eyes, hurt that his fiancé of all people is keeping things from him. You know it’s unfair to be doing this to him right now but you had no choice.

You walk up to him, taking his face in your hands.

“You just have to trust me on this, Sean,” You say softly. “Please.”

“I can’t trust anyone right now, y/n.” He says it like a plea. He needs you to be the one person he can trust one hundred percent, wants to be able to put you apart from the rest of the world who seemingly had it out for his family right now. He can’t do that when you’re acting like this.

The statement doesn’t hurt you in the slightest. You understand where he’s coming from, understand why he can’t even trust you, but still, you wish he did.

“You can always trust me,” You tell him but you know it won’t be enough. That’s confirmed when his gaze goes steely and he pries your hands from his cheeks.

“If you step out that door, don’t bother coming home.”

You step back like you’d been burned by the ultimatum. “Sean, don’t-”

He shakes his head.

“Whatever you’re doing, I hope it’s worth it.”

_________________________________________________

one.

“It’s just so annoying, you know?” You huff, falling back onto Sean’s bed and pressing the heels of your palms into your eyelids. You’re sixteen and in the throes of teen angst, irritated by the confines of your parents’ demands regarding what you currently could and couldn’t do at that age.

“Yeah, I know,” Sean replies in solidarity from where he stands near the window.

You let out a sigh, the anger that was bubbling in your chest starting to dissipate now that you’d finished venting about it.

You’re so lost in your own thoughts that you don’t realise Sean has moved from his spot across the room to the bed beside you. The mattress dips a little as he sits and slowly lies back so he’s parallel to you.

You move your hands away from your eyes and your heart jolts when you crane your neck to look at him and realise how close he is.

“Thanks for listening to my ranting,” You murmur, starting to feel guilty that you’d come over to hang out only for it to end up being just him listening to your tirade.

He lets out a small chuckle. “Anytime.”

You smile gratefully, your heart rate accelerating as you continue to stare into his eyes. God, you like him so much. You have for a while now. As he inches closer, and you don’t know whether it’s deliberate on his part or not, you wonder what it would be like if you just kissed him right there.

“Y/n…” He says hesitantly, his gaze flicking down to your lips for a fraction of a second. “Can I-”

“Ooooh, Sean and y/n,” Billy sing-songs obnoxiously from the doorway - the doorway that both you and Sean had forgotten was wide open.

Sean leaps up from the bed and growls at his brother, who continues to tease him unfazed.

“Fuck off, Billy!”

He slams the door shut and everything descends into silence once more. You sit up and watch as Sean remains at the door, his shoulders tense. You get up and make your way over to him, feeling bolder than you ever have in your life.

“Sean,” You say softly, grabbing his attention.

He turns to you, the look in his eyes hesitant, and you use that opportunity to press your lips to his. You pull away just as quickly, gauging his reaction, but then he pulls you towards him again and this time the kiss is deeper, needier. Your hands steady yourself against his chest as his own move up to cup your jaw.

You’re both breathless when you pull away, sporting matching shy smiles as you look at each other.

“I really like you, y/n,” Sean confesses and your heart feels like it could burst.

“I really like you, too, Sean.”

When you and Sean get accepted into different universities, it worries you more than you let on. It would be the furthest away you’d ever lived from him and you were worried about what that meant for you both. You’d spent your last years of high school falling deeper and deeper in love with him and you weren’t ready to let him go. Not now, not ever.

“Hey,” He murmurs, noticing you’d spaced out again. “What’s wrong?”

You shrug it off but he’s not buying it. He shifts on the couch so that he’s sitting facing you and takes your hands in his.

"Talk to me.”

You end up telling him everything. How you don’t like that you’re not going to be able to see him as often as you do now, how you’re worried that the distance might put a strain on the relationship, how you really, really don’t like the idea of breaking up with him.

You half expect him to brush it off or to tell you that you’ve got nothing to worry about but he doesn’t.

“I don’t like it either,” He admits. “It’s going to be awful being so far away from you but it’s only a couple of years, yeah? We can do that. And then I’ll start working for my dad and you’ll start working for some cool startup and we can move into a flat in London. You and me.”

While your boyfriend’s vision of your future together warms your heart, you’re still hung up on the ‘couple of years’ you were going to be a good distance from each other.

“Babe,” He says, bringing your attention back to him. “We’re going to be okay.”

You nod, finally relenting and agreeing with him. There was no point in letting yourself get eaten alive with worry, not when he clearly loved you just as much as you loved him. It was going to be okay.

“I love you,” You tell him and he smiles, pressing a kiss to the back of your hand.

“I love you too.”

Sean’s vision of the future wasn’t too far off. You manage to secure a flat just before you both graduate and by the end of the summer, you’d moved in. Sean starts working immediately alongside Alex at the Wallace Corporation and you spend about eight months working for a new tech startup on the other side of London before Finn Wallace offers you a job. It goes over with Sean just as well as you expected it would - which was not well at all.

“Are you really going to throw away everything you’ve worked hard for? To be my dad’s fucking assistant?”

You sigh in exasperation. “I’m not throwing away anything, Sean! Do you think I’m that stupid? I’m going to use more of what I learned at uni as Finn’s assistant than I am now at that fucking sad excuse for startup and you know it!”

Sean knows you’re miserable where you currently work so you don’t know why he’s so against this.

“You don’t want me working with you, is that it?”

He sighs, palms pressing against his eyelids in frustration.

“No,” He says eventually. “No, it’s not that. It’s just… I don’t want my dad having a hold on the both of us. You’re supposed to be free from all the Wallace Corporation shit, out doing your own thing.”

Oh.

You step towards him and he instinctively wraps his arms around your waist. You press a light kiss to his lips, your fingers ghosting over the facial hair he had recently started sporting.

“Sorry to tell you this, Sean, but your dad’s had a hold on the both of us the moment we started dating. Maybe even before that. I’m sure if he didn’t approve of me, I would’ve been out of your life a long time ago.”

Sean grumbles at the realisation but he knows it's true.

You lovingly run your thumb over his cheek. "Nothing in London is out of Finn Wallace's reach."

You’re not a fool. You know Finn offered you this job for a very specific reason. If you were going to continue being with Sean, and at this point, everyone knew that was absolutely going to be the case, you were going to have to know how the company worked. And you weren’t against it. If Sean was to be the CEO one day, you refused to be the kind of wife who was oblivious to their husband’s dealings.

Gone is the youthful innocence of the lanky boy you fell in love with when you were sixteen. Sean is filled out and a lot more serious, trying to be more than what he is for his father’s sake. You suppose you're the same, too. It's not easy, being primed to eventually take over a multi-million dollar organisation (connected to an insidious underground one to boot) and Finn put just as much pressure on you as he did his son.

“It’s not my blood,” You mumble when Sean walks into the bathroom to find you soaking in the tub, the water around you a deep red. “Mostly.”

Wordlessly, he comes over and drains it before filling it back up with fresh water. You don’t move as he does so, still shaken and borderline catatonic from having just killed somebody for the first time. Sean doesn’t have to ask, he can just tell that’s what you’ve come back from. As he silently washes the blood from your skin, you look over to see his lips set in a tight line. You know he’s mad. Not at you. At his father, maybe. But there’s nothing he can do now. There’s no going back from this.

Everyone thinks you’re the power couple of the Wallace Corporation, steely and unfeeling, and you suppose in many ways you are but you also know that in other ways, you’re still the teenagers you were before, still completely and utterly smitten with one another.

“Hey,” Sean greets you, kissing your cheek before pulling out a chair and sitting beside you in the empty boardroom.

You look at him in surprise as he starts digging into some pre-packaged salad. “Hi. What are you doing?”

“Thought I’d have lunch with you.”

“It’s three in the afternoon.”

“The meeting ran overtime.”

You give him a sympathetic look and he rolls his eyes. “It’s fine. C’mere.”

You shuffle closer to him and let him tuck you under one arm while he forked salad into his mouth with the other.

“What have you been up to, hm?”

You let out an exhale, resting your head against his shoulder. “Meetings, same as you.”

You’re interrupted when Alex pops his head in with an apologetic look on his face, knowing he was disrupting a rare moment between you and Sean. Usually, the both of you would be so busy you’d only see each other in passing at work.

“Finn’s looking for you, y/n,” He tells you before disappearing again.

You sigh, getting up but not before kissing Sean on the cheek.

“I’ll see you at home.”

“Mm, see you.” He mumbles, swallowing his mouthful of salad before his hand shoots out to grab your wrist. “Wait, give me a proper kiss.”

You smile and comply, laughing when Sean pulls you back in for another and another.

“I have to go, Sean!”

“Alright, alright,” He says, letting you go. “I’ll see you later.”

"What's all this?" Sean asks when he comes home one night to find you in the kitchen looking like you’re in the middle of making a more elaborate dinner than usual.

"Just something to celebrate you finishing up that contract," You say, smiling when his arms circle your waist and his lips press a kiss to your cheek. "I was also thinking now that the contract's done, you've got all the time in the world to fuck me."

You all but squeal when he picks you up and carries you to the bedroom without a second thought.

"The food, Sean!"

"The food can wait," He murmurs, dropping you onto the bed. You giggle when he moves to hover above you, his lips brushing against yours. "I've got to take care of my fiancé first."

It’s those memories of your relationship with Sean that flood your mind as you lean against the brick wall of a Soho back alley, the hand pressing against the wound on your side not doing much to stop the blood seeping from your body faster than you would like.

Dread had filled you the moment you heard about Finn’s death and it had less to do with what happened to him and everything to do with the man you were engaged to, the one who was set to take over the company in his father’s wake. Despite Sean being the clear successor to the business, you knew Finn’s death would still leave a power vacuum in both London’s corporate and criminal worlds. You knew people would be out for Sean, trying to off him so that they could step up and take Finn’s place. And so, since the day Finn had died, you’d done everything you could to ensure Sean wouldn’t be harmed. Even after Sean’s heartbreaking ultimatum, you’d left and had been all over the country and London trying to stop the people that needed to be stopped. This last job you’d just carried out would have been it. It would have sealed the deal and would have kept Sean safe for good. Too bad you were probably going to die because of it.

You wince as your back slides further down the wall, your legs giving out and leaving you to drop unceremoniously onto the concrete. Each inhale felt like a billion knives entering your side and you knew you weren’t going to last much longer.

It was worth it, you think to yourself. It’s the last thought you have before your eyelids get too heavy to keep open, Sean’s last words to you echoing back in your mind. It may have cost you your life but was worth it if it meant you’d just ensured Sean would keep his for a long while.

_________________________________________________

two.

Despite the number of people crammed into your hospital room, the only sound to be heard is the steady beeping of the machines that had been attached to you. It had been a hell of a night for all of them and one that wasn’t over yet. Jacqueline’s frantic call to Sean about seeing you get wheeled into emergency surgery had cut short the tense discussion the Wallaces and Dumanis were having around the dining table. Sean had all but sped to the hospital, everyone else trailing behind him. Despite everything that had just been revealed to him that night, it all became secondary in comparison to the fact that Jacqueline had told him you were practically dying.

Everyone but Sean looks up when Ed steps back into the room, shoving his phone into his pocket.

“That was Jevan,” Ed announces to all of them. “Things have changed.”

“What things?” Marian asks, the tone in her voice still bitter. It’s a wonder neither she nor Sean have kicked the Dumanis out of the room but it was because there was still so much to be discussed - especially now that you were back in the picture and what happened to you remained unclear.

“The investors now want to keep Sean alive.”

A silence settles over the room at Ed’s revelation. It was mere hours ago that Alex had revealed it was the investors who wanted Sean dead.

“She knew,” Sean mutters, finally speaking up. His eyes raking over your nearly-lifeless face as you lay unconscious on the hospital bed and his mind thinks back to the last conversation he had with you. Business, you had told him then. Now, he had no doubt you had something to do with the investors’ most recent decision. “She knew they wanted me dead.”

“How?” It’s Alex who asks, vocalising the same thought Sean had been turning over and over in his mind. “How did she know where to find them? Who to talk to?”

No one has an answer. The machines beep steadily, filling in the silence until Ed sighs, a realisation dawning on him.

“Finn,” He states like that alone makes the answer clear. “She would’ve known through Finn. Think about it. When she was his assistant, he made her go with him to nearly every meeting he had.”

Everyone in the room was aware of the latter, of course. It was part of your job. It had even been a point of contention between Sean and his father at one point, why you were let in on meetings that he should’ve been in on too if he was going to take over the company one day. "She’s just there to make the coffee, son," Finn had laughed but that wasn’t true in the slightest. You were the one who took down the minutes, noted down anything of importance, kept tabs on any and all of Finn’s dealings with everybody. That was your job and through it, you ended up knowing more about the business than anyone else and you didn’t even realise it. You didn’t realise just how much you knew, how much knowledge you could use as leverage, as blackmail, until Sean’s life was on the line.

After Finn died, you did wonder whether he knew what he was setting you up for when he hired you, wondered if he always knew Sean would eventually need protecting and knew that you would do it without hesitation if you had the capability to do so.

It’s Ed, here in the hospital room, who comes to the realisation that he absolutely did.

“She knows more about Finn’s dealings with the investors than all of us in this room combined,” He continues. “Because he never actually needed her to be his assistant. He needed her to be someone who would know how to talk to them. To protect the company and its successor from them if need be.”

“Successor?” Marian asks. “You mean Sean?”

Ed nods and everyone jumps as Sean suddenly throws his fist against the bedside table in anger before whirling on the older man.

“You knew about this,” He seethes. “You knew he was doing this and you just let it happen.”

“I didn’t know this was his reasoning behind it, Sean, I promise you. But it makes sense. As his son, protecting you was a priority. Through her, Finn made sure you’d be kept safe.”

"Fuck that.” Sean spits in anger. “Fuck that. She's a priority too. You hear me? She needs to be kept safe too because if she's not alive I may as well be fucking dead."

_________________________________________________

three.

“I should’ve fucking realised that’s what she was up to. I should’ve fucking known,” Sean mutters as he looks at you, still lying there unconscious. “She risked everything for me.”

“Are you surprised?” Marian asks him. It’s just the two of them in the room now.

She, for one, isn’t surprised in the slightest. Having known you most of your life, she knew you had it in you. Maybe Finn saw that too, since it was what he ended up priming you for.

Sean sighs. He’s not surprised either. What he mostly feels is anger - at his late father for putting you in that position to begin with - and shame. He’s ashamed that while you were bending over backwards to try and keep him alive, he was doing fuck all for you. He'd even broken your fucking heart in the process. He’d regretted it the second you’d left the flat but he couldn’t get into contact with you afterwards. Either you’d changed your number or you weren’t answering his calls. He’d even hired a fucking private investigator to find out where you’d gone and what you were up to but they hadn’t come back with anything solid enough that could lead him to you. It was like you’d disappeared off the face of the earth.

"She paid you off,” Sean says bluntly the moment the PI enters the hospital room. It’s not a question. After everything that had surfaced in the last twenty-four hours, it clicked into Sean’s mind the reason the private investigator couldn’t find anything on you.

"She did,” They confirm.

Sean swears under his breath. He curses that fact that you were too good at this and curses the fact that it was probably Finn that taught you how, the same way Finn taught him. He should’ve fought harder to stop you from accepting his dad’s job offer. All those years ago.

“She paid me off,” The PI says. "But that doesn’t mean I didn't do my job."

Sean is handed a folder full of notes on your movements and a flash drive full of photos they’d snapped from a distance.

"You are a very lucky man, Sean Wallace. To have someone like her in your life."

_________________________________________________

four.

To say you’re surprised when you open your eyes to a sterile hospital room is an understatement. You were so sure you had no chance of getting out of that alley alive. Still groggy, you briefly wonder if it was the investors who managed to get you here in time - the strange puppet masters that they were - but your train of thought is halted when you realise Sean’s sister is in the room with you, sitting beside your hospital bed.

“About time you woke up,” Jacqueline says softly, a kind smile on her face. “How’re you feeling?”

Her question brings your attention to the relentless ache you feel all over your body.

“Like shit.”

She hums. “Well, you’re lucky you aren’t dead. You gave us all a scare getting wheeled in here the way you did.”

You shift a little, trying to get yourself in a position that would ease the pain somewhat. “How’s Sean?”

Jacqueline has to stop herself from rolling her eyes because of course that’s what’s on your mind right now. You coming back from the verge of death asking about Sean ran in a similar vein to the way Sean had been adamant about not leaving the hospital since you’d been admitted. Like two peas in a pod, she thinks. Always have been.

“He’s just out in the hall, actually,” She informs you. “On the phone to mum. He’s not going to be pleased he wasn’t here when you woke up.”

“But he’s okay?” You ask her.

“He’s okay.”

You let out the breath you didn’t realise you were holding, your head sinking further into the pillow.

“Good,” You say, shutting your eyes in relief. “That’s good.”

Only a few seconds pass before you hear the door open and shut and a heart-achingly familiar voice break the silence.

“How is she?”

Again, Jacqueline has to keep herself from rolling her eyes. Her brother would always ask that same question every time he returned to the room, no matter if he was gone for an hour or for just a couple of minutes. At least this time, she was glad to give him an answer other than ‘she’s the same as she was when you left’.

“She’s awake.”

Your eyelids flutter open and your heart jumps when your gaze lands on Sean.

“I’ll leave you both to it,” Jacqueline smiles when she looks between her brother and yourself. She comes over and rests her hand on yours. “I’m really glad you’re alive, y/n.”

You give her a grateful smile and watch her leave before your eyes flicker back to the man standing at the door. He looks healthy, you note to yourself. Exhausted, but healthy.

“Sean,” You whisper, breaking the silence.

“Hey,” He says softly, approaching your bedside. You slowly sit up and tears start to pool in your eyes at the sight of him here, so close to you. Safe and alive. He notices and reaches out to wipe away the stray tears that had rolled down your cheeks.

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” He murmurs and you have to hold back a sob.

"I did it for you, Sean," You can barely get the sentence out, your voice catching as you start to get choked up by emotion. "Everything I did-"

"I know," He says, cupping your face tenderly. His eyes are glassy too. "I know."

“I couldn’t let them hurt you. I couldn’t-”

You stop as your tears start to flow uncontrollably. You’d kept so much of your emotions at bay as you dealt with everything and now that it was all done, they were spilling over in waves. He gently pulls you into his embrace as you cry, mindful of your injuries. One hand strokes your hair comfortingly as you cling to him, soaking the front of his shirt with your tears. You keep muttering apologies into his chest and he has to tell you to stop because you have nothing to be sorry for. He should be the one apologising, he thinks. No matter what he does for you for the rest of his life nothing would come close enough in magnitude to what you’d just done for him.

You sniffle as your sobs finally start to subside but you don’t let go of him just yet.

“I want to come home, Sean,” You say quietly, your cheek still pressed against his chest.

“You are home,” He assures you, his arms affectionately squeezing you ever so slightly. "You're here with me. You're already home."

_________________________________________________

epilogue.

Sean barely leaves your side while you recover - not for business, not for anything.

“The company needs you, Sean.”

He shakes his head. “Alex has it covered. You need me.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“Believe me, I know. But still. In sickness and in health, right?”

You snort. “We’re not married yet.”

His arms wrap around your waist.

“But we will be,” He murmurs. “I would’ve married you a long time ago if I had it my way.”

“My mother would’ve murdered you.”

Sean chuckles, all too aware of it.

It was about a year and a half into your university lives that Sean decided he genuinely wanted to marry you and, of course, he had run it by your mother.

“I’ll give you my blessing, Sean,” She had told him. “But only if you promise me you’ll give it a few years until you propose.”

“Just trust me on this, okay?” She said after Sean had frowned and asked her why. “I know you love her and I know she loves you but there’s no need to rush.”

Sean had agreed reluctantly but now, years later, he understands where she was coming from. At the time, he had naively been sure there was nothing the two of you couldn’t handle. You’d both handled being at different universities so well, after all. Now, he cringes at the fact that that was his metric but he figures he couldn’t blame himself. At that age, he definitely never anticipated having to deal with all the shit life had thrown at you both in the last few months alone. He’s somewhat grateful your mum told him to wait because now, after everything, he’s more sure than he ever was about the fact that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you.

You’re finally back home, in your own bed, lying on your back because it’s the only comfortable way you can lay down with all your stitches and injuries yet to fully heal. You turn your head to look at Sean and you smile. He’s on his back as well, the both of you craning your necks awkwardly to look at each other.

“What?” He asks.

“This is very familiar.”

He snorts, knowing exactly what you’re referring to. He props himself up on his elbow and looks down at you.

“At least this time I’m not scared to do this.”

Your eyelids flutter close as he leans down to press his lips to yours. You reciprocate, leaning up to deepen the kiss before pain shoots up your side, making you hiss.

“Sorry,” He murmurs, pulling away.

“It’s fine, just the stitches.”

His thumb grazes over your cheek. “Rest.”

He smiles at the way you huff. You never did like staying still.

You let out a content sigh, sinking back in your office chair. It had felt like a lifetime since you’d been in here and finally being back felt like you were putting in the final piece in the puzzle. It was the last thing you needed to feel like everything was starting to go back to normal.

A knock on the door grabs your attention, Sean popping in to check on you. “You ready?”

You nod, gingerly getting up and following him to the boardroom for the family meeting.

“So you know Alex and I have been talking,” Sean says to you once everyone had filed in and taken their seats. “About what will be best for the business going forward.”

You nod.

“Things have settled down and we’ve managed to broker temporary agreements with everyone to keep them in line. However, we need to guarantee they won’t act out in the future. So we need someone heading the company who they will listen to, someone who they trust. Alex wants to continue doing the finances and I’m better off sticking to making the buildings so… we were wondering if you would be the CEO.”

Your expression goes slack in shock. “What?”

“We’ve run it by Ed and mum and they agree, too. You’re our best bet.”

You look between everyone in the room, bewildered. “Why?”

“Because you know more about dealing with the investors and shareholders than any of us,” Alex says. “You saw first-hand how Finn did his business with them, something me and Sean rarely did. And they not only know you personally but they trust you, too.”

“Y/n,” Ed pipes up. “Whether he did it deliberately or not, Finn taught you everything he knew about the most important part of running this corporation. Alex knows finance and sales, Sean knows property and asset management but you? He specifically taught you how to bargain. And bargaining and making deals is part of what keeps the Wallace Corporation on top.”

“All our shareholders, the investors, they’ll be okay with this?” You ask.

Ed gives you a look, “You tell us.”

The weight of the responsibility hits you in full force but you’re surprised when you don’t feel scared. You feel sure. They were all right, you’d been doing this already.

You nod. “They will be.”

And it’s not a threat so much as it’s just pure confidence on your part. You knew their strengths, their weaknesses, you knew you would be able to keep them in line with your words, either finding mutual ground or using certain things as leverage to get what the company needed. You could bargain with them the same way you’d bargained for Sean’s life. You could do this.

You meet Sean’s eyes across the boardroom table and he smiles at you, pride blooming in his chest at the thought of his girl, the one he had fallen head-over-heels for at sixteen, being the CEO of his dad’s company. You smile in return. God, you loved him. Your entire world, your whole heart, belonged to him. And his to you. It always had been, and it always would be.

_________________________________________________

End notes: The first kiss setting in one. I took straight from Volume, lol, and then two. is set after that meeting scene at the end of Episode 7 of Gangs but I’ve taken some liberties with that meeting and diverged from canon right before Ed tells them Finn never wanted Sean near the business because Sean’s reaction to that hurts my heart. So that’s not a thing in my fic world. Anyway! Too many thoughts about this show. Let me know if you enjoyed this fic!

#sean wallace x reader #gangs of london fanfiction #*writing #sean wallace #gangs of london #sean wallace fic #sean wallace imagine #gangs of london fic #sean wallace fanfic

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burntmcnuggies · 4 years

Text

Hawks and S/O Play Among Us

Hawks x Reader

Just a small headcanon I made since me, my mom, my brother, my step-sister, and some of my friends play all the time! If you wanna play together or just chat with me lemme know and I’ll make a private group for you all to join and chat with me! ;)

Warnings: strong language, excess use of profanity, so if you don’t like very strong language please leave! A slight little bit of suggestive sexiness from Hawks, but it’s very very brief! That’s it!

Enjoy!

* Cheats all the time. So make sure you both are in separate rooms. If you’re beside him playing on your phones, he will for sure peek over and see if you’re an imposter or not.

* If you’re both Crewmate he’ll stay glued to your side. He’ll do all tasks with you, make sure he follows you if something got sabotaged, even though this may cause you to lose. “Hawks go to the other one! We only have 15 seconds!” “But what if you die? I’ll be all alone, and everyone will sus me because I stayed with you all the time!” “That’s why you don’t follow me and act sus!” Needless to say it’s difficult getting him to leave your side. If you do die, he’ll start blaming your killer even though he has no proof at all. Then he gets voted out and you do tasks together as ghosts. He’s one of those people to randomly start accusing people, and will use you as an alibi. “I was with my girlfriend and brown was following us. He’s pretty sus.” Then you get spams in the chat saying “wtf.”

* if you’re both imposters, he’ll make sure to sit by you and run around freely by himself knowing you’re safe. Even in a fictional game he makes sure you’re safe... most of the time. “FUCK! FUCK!! BROWN SAW ME!!! WHAT DO I DO?!?!” “LIE!” “THEY ALL WANNA VOTE ME OUT WHAT THE FUCK?!?!” Voting occurs, and you vote him out. “YOU BETRAYED ME?!?!” “WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?!?! IT WOULD BE SUS IF I DIDNT!!!” He’ll start pouring and follow you around in his little ghost form, assisting in sabotage and warning you if there’s anyone around so you can kill people. If you were away from each other, he would venture on his own and sometimes follow you to see if you can double kill. “Yes! Good job, dovie, you make a great sidekick!” If you are being accused, he’ll defend you immediately, which makes it all the more suspicious. Then you both end up getting voted out.

* You’re the imposter and he’s the crewmate. You kill Hawks first. Always. You have to or else he’ll rat you out immediately. He’s very competitive if you are on opposite teams. If you do get voted out he’ll rub it in your face and laugh. “You’re so predictable, dovie. It’s not even funny!” Well, apparently he thinks it’s funny. He also thinks it’s funny seeing the pouty expression on your face. If your teammate kills him, you start laughing at him. “Hah! Yellow got revenge! Thank you yellow! Carry us to victory!” He scowls. “At least I made it farther.” If you successfully kill him, he’ll stalk you through his little ghost and scrutinize your methods. “You killed him in the open, If it were real you’d be locked away by now.” “It’s a game babe. Let me play how I wanna play. You’re acting childish cause I killed you.” “I hope they vote you out. Liar. Murderer. Imposter!” When you end up winning he’ll pout. “I’ll get you next time, baby bird.”

* He’s the imposter and you’re the crewmate. He’s very good at it. He likes to wait and kill you last since he loves to taunt you. Then he’ll lie to the entire chat and act all innocent. However, if you’re playing with friends, this plan always backfires. You don’t even suspect him because he’s so good at playing the role of an imposter, it’s almost scary. If he’s the imposter, he always wins. If he’s acting sus, you call an emergency meeting and immediately convince everyone to vote him out. It’s a desperate last effort tactic to try and win against him. Of course, he smooth talks his way out of things and you’re the one that gets booted. There will be a small little thing at the end where you are playing with friends :)

* Characters, of course yours is whatever you want, but Hawks... he loves to do stupid ass nicknames that you and all your friends and his make fun of. It’s consisted of “Sexy Bird” “No. 2 Bitches” “(Y/N)’s dick giver” “chickenman” “nugget king” “Endeavor my daddy” “Endeavorsimp” “Hawks” The last one is to try and make his fans day if he has any that play when you both just play online together. His character is almost always yellow with little goggles on top, a white suit, and a mini crewmate as his pet. Many don’t believe that it’s actually Hawks, not until he posts pictures on his social media of you and him playing together.

* Playing with Friends: You, Hawks, Endeavor, Mirko, Dabi, Tokoyami, Shoto, Twice, Shigaraki, and Aizawa (you convinced him to play) All of you are on call. Hawks invited Endeavor, Mirko, and Tokoyami. You invited everyone else. (Lets all pretend that you all are normal and there’s no heroes or villains, just all adults with jobs playing kid games. (U/N) is username by the way since you all get to choose ^^

Below is a short story I wrote for this!

------------------------------------

Small Key!

-(U/N) = You (Orange, Pink, Light Green)

-Sexy Bird = Hawks (Yellow)

-Dabeebee = Dabi (Purple)

-Zzzawa = Aizawa (Dark Green)

-QueenRab = Mirko (White)

-MyDadSucks = Shoto (Cyan)

-DarkBoy = Tokoyami (Black)

-Crustball = Shigaraki (Dark Blue)

-2wice = Twice (Brown)

-Endeavor = Endeavor (Red)

------------------------------------

“Hey everyone!” -(U/N)

“Stop being so happy (Y/N).” -Zzzawa

“Hey Doll.” -Dabeebee

“Dabi~! Your user name is your name in my phone!!! How sweet!” -(U/N)

“Hey, I’m right here. Don’t make me come up there and teach you who you belong to again pretty birdie.” -Sexy Bird

“TMI!! I don’t wanna hear about you’re pathetic sex like Keigo. Baby dick.” -QueenRab

“Language Mirko. Please. Who else is joining (Y/N)-“ -Endeavor

“YOU BITCH WE HAVE BOMB ASS SEX!!! TELL HER (Y/N)!!!!” -Sexy Bird

“Can we just start?” -Crustball

“Please.” -Zzzawa

“I agree.” -MyDadSucks

“Shoto change your name.” -Endeavor

“Fuck off old man.” -MyDadSucks

“I am ready to begin this journey of darkness and deceit.” -DarkBoy

“Me too! Oh hell no, I’m not doin’ this.” -2wice

“Guys! Shut up! I’m about to start the game so we all have to go on mute okay?” -(U/N)

“(Y/NNNNN)! You didn’t tell Mirko about our fucking amazing se-“ -Sexy Bird

------------------------------------

You pressed start before your lover could even finish whatever he was saying and rolled your eyes shouting from the guest bedroom. “KEIGO YOU BASTARD IM REALLY GONNA KILL YOU IF YOU SAY ANYTHING ELSE ABOUT OUT SEX LIFE!!!!” He shouted back almost immediately. “SHE CALLED OUR SEX PATHETIC!!!!” You called back. “ITS NOT BABE ITS FUCKING AMAZING NOW SHUT UP AND PLAY!!!!” The little ‘Shhhh’ appeared and it turned out you and Dabi were the imposters. You grinned widely and went towards the right of “The Skeld” map. You ran up towards weapons to pretend to do the task. You took the time to attempt to sabotage the lights like you always did, but it sadly was still loading. Then a purple little astronaut came beside you with little wolf ears. And the name labeled above was red with the word “Dabeebee.”

‘Alright Dabi... lets kick some ass.’ You thought to yourself with a grin as you finally got your kill cool down relinquished. The first thing you sabotaged was lights, and then you began your search for your lover. You went down and turned left, checking to see if anyone was in communications. No one. You then went through lower storage and up Into electrical. You were met with a dark blue color. Poor Shigaraki, your first victim. Keigo could probably wait. Dabi would back you up. You clicked the kill button on your phone and immediately jumped into a vent. You popped out of MedBay and pretended to do the sample task. Then your screen flashed.

------------------------------------

*DISCUSS/ Dabeebee reported a body*

*Crustball has died*

------------------------------------

“Well, there goes the crusty bastard. He sucked anyways.” -Dabeebee

“Where was the body?” -(U/N)

“It’s (Y/N). I know it is.” -Sexy Bird

“What the hell kinda evidence for you have that it was (Y/N)? I’ll kick your ass if you do it again. You weren’t near her you were with Endeavor and I.” -QueenRab

“Those are some pretty bold accusations against me my love.” -(U/N)

“(Y/N) was with me the whole time. The body was in electrical. We were together going down there and she kept going while I went to go do a task.” -Dabeebee

“It was Dabi! No it wasn’t, he’s a good guy! No! He’s evil!” -2wice

“It was Endeavor.” -MyDadSucks

“It’s (Y/N) and Dabi. You guys have to believe me! I know my birdie and she is an imposter right now. Don’t trust her.” -Sexy Bird

“Shut the fuck up.” -QueenRab

“Kei baby you soundin’ kinda sus, quickly blaming me and Dabi.” -(U/N)

“It’s Dabi and I. And no, I didn’t-“ -Endeavor

“WHATEVER ENDEAVOR WE AREN’T IN SCHOOL!!!” -(U/N)

“I’m a school teacher, (Y/N). Don’t forget I tutored you our freshmen year.” -Zzzawa

“That makes me sound old Shōta.” -(U/N)

“Discussion time just ended. What’re we doing?” -MyDadSucks

“I’m still voting (Y/N).” -Sexy Bird

“Oh yes, I love you too Kei’. So much.” -(U/N)

“It was dark. I couldn’t see anything. I didn’t know where I was.” -DarkBoy

“I’m votin’ Keigo cause he’s bein’ a petty little dickless bitch.” QueenRab

“RUDE.” -Sexy Bird

“I’m skipping.” -Dabeebee

“Me too.” -(U/N), DarkBoy, 2wice, Endeavor, and Zzzawa

------------------------------------

7 skips: (Y/N), Dabeebee, DarkBoy, 2wice, Endeavor, and Zzzawa

1 vote for Endeavor: MyDadSucks

1 vote for Sexy Bird: QueenRab

1 vote for (U/N): Sexy Bird

------------------------------------

*NO ONE WAS EJECTED*

------------------------------------

‘That’s good no one believe Keigo. If they did me and Dabi would be- Dabi and I would be dead.’ Next turn you went left, heading down to MedBay to “finish” the samples. While you waited you checked to see if you could sabotage. A couple seconds later the oxygen depletion was activated. ‘Nice Dabi!’ You cracked a smile and left MedBay, running into a red character, Endeavor. Poor Endeavor. You successfully reached lower engine before killing the old player. You quickly passed Mirko and your face paled once you realized she would find the body and report it, seeing you leaving. You only continued in, receiving nothing from the others about a dead body. You weren’t gonna ask questions. Suddenly...

------------------------------------

*DISCUSS/ MyDadSucks reported a body*

*Endeavor and QueenRab have died*

------------------------------------

“Well, it wasn’t my old man.” -MyDadSucks

“ITS (Y/N) AND DABI!!!! VOTE (Y/N) OUT OR WERE GOING TO LOSE!!!!” -Sexy Bird

“I already voted.” -Zzzawa

“That fast? Who’d you vote for?” -(U/N)

“Hawks.” -Zzzawa

“WHAT?!?!” -Sexy Bird

“I agree! No wait! He’s telling the truth! No way! He’s totally an imposter!” -2wice

“You are being very loud and suspicious. You’re also only blaming (Y/N) and Dabi for no reason. You didn’t even ask where the body was. You passed me coming up from reactor. And the body was in lower engine. You were the only one I sa-“ -MyDadSucks

“I WAS WATCHIN’ SECURITY CAMS!!!! CMON MAN!!” -Sexy Bird

“I’m voting Kei’ too.” -(U/N)

“Me too.” -Dabeebee

“I will not eject my mentor. He’s taught me a lot. He’s intelligent. I believe him.” -DarkBoy

“THANK YOU TOKOYAMI!!! SOMEONE HERE APPRECIATES MY SMARTS!!” -Sexy Bird

“What smarts? You’re a total birdbrain.” -(U/N)

------------------------------------

5 votes for Sexy Bird: MyDadSucks, Zzzawa, Dabeebee, 2wice, and (U/N).

2 votes for (U/N): DarkBoy and Sexy Bird

------------------------------------

*Sexy Bird WAS EJECTED*

------------------------------------

(Dead Chat)

“YOU WERE RIGHT KEIGO ITS (Y/N) and DABI!!!! HE KILLED ME WHEN I FOUND ENDEAVORS BODY AFTER SHE KILLED HIM IN LOWER ENGINE!!!” -QueenRab

“I was the first one to die. It’s been boring. I haven’t been doing anything.” -Crustball

“YOU ARENT DOING TASKS?!?!?!” -QueenRab

“They’re already going to win.” -Endeavor

“SHUT UP!!!” -QueenRab

“I KNEW IT!!!!” -Sexy Bird

------------------------------------

You covered your mouth in shock that you actually got everyone to vote out Hawks. Aizawa was annoyed, Shoto was getting suspicious of how loud and pushy he was being to vote you out without any evidence, Dabi was your teammate so of course he’d vote with you, and then Twice just went with everyone else. You ran down first, running to admin with Tokoyami following right behind you. All the sudden your lover burst into the guest bedroom and stomped over towards your bed, spreading his wings and plopping beside you. “I knew it was you and Dabi. But nobody fuckin’ believed me.” You rolled your eyes and pretended to do the key scan while you sabotaged reactor. “Keigo, you were acting wayyyyy too sus. This is why you always lose when we play with friends. You’re too loud. You gotta be calm and persuasive. How on earth did you become an undercover agent for the FBI.”

“Shut the fuck up. I just wanna win that’s all. I also wanna be right, and I was, and now everyone’s comin’ and tellin’ me I’m right.” He smirked smugly and wrapped one of his wings around you, pulling you close to his chest while he watched you play. You went with Tokoyami and when you finally got him alone in navigation you killed him. Your thumb jerked upwards to go to the vent, but as soon as you did a Dark Green astronaut cane into view. Seeing you vent and leave the dead body. “Fuck!” You cursed and banged your head lightly in your head as the screen lit up. Your lover laughed. “Hey~ there’s still a chance we could win.” You sent him a glare. “Dabi will let us win. He’s a pro! C’mon Dabi! Help me out bro!”

------------------------------------

*DISCUSS/ Zzzawa reported a body*

*DarkBoy has died*

------------------------------------

“(Y/N) vented.” -Zzzawa

“What? Aizawa I literally just fucking saw you leave the body—SHES LYING!!!!” -(U/N)

“Is that Hawks?” -MyDadSucks

“OH MY GOD YOU’RE LITERALLY THE WORST GET THE FUCK OUT OR YOU’RE SLEEPING ON THE COUCH!!!! —THIS IS MY HOUSE!!!! AND I NEED THE BED FOR MY WINGS BABY BIRD!!!!” -(U/N)

“Can you guys fuck some other time? Are you sure you saw (Y/N) vent Mr. Caterpillar man. Do you have your contracts in?” -Dabeebee

“I don’t need input from a unemployed burnt looking drug dealer. It was (Y/N).” -Zzzawa

“A bit harsh coming from a raggedy looking old man.” -Dabeebee

“Can I just point out Twice has been awfully quiet? He bein’ pretty sus right now.” -(U/N)

“I’m the imposter! No I’m not! I’m a crewmate believe me!” -2wice

“He’s too stupid to be an imposter. I’ve been with him he was in MedBay.” -Dabeebee

“Yeah I was! But Hawks is already dead and ratted (Y/N) out! So it’s gotta he her!” -2wice

“Voting ends soon. I’m voting (Y/N). My apologies.” -MyDadSucks

“Agreed.” -Zzzawa

“Awe Shoto it’s okay, I love you so much. This is why you aren’t dead yet because you’re a pure angel! -I’m sittin’ right here pretty bird- no you aren’t an angel, you’re a devilish asshole.” -(U/N)

“I love you too, (Y/N).” -MyDadSucks

“Sorry doll, votes are stacked against you. Good game though.” -Dabeebee

“Yeah, fuck you Dabi.” -(U/N)

“Anytime baby, I’m open.” -Dabeebee

------------------------------------

4 votes for (U/N): MyDadSucks, Zzzawa, Dabeebee, and 2wice

1 vote for Zzzawa: (U/N)

------------------------------------

*(U/N) WAS EJECTED*

------------------------------------

(Dead chat)

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t the imposter who killed me.” -Crustball

“(Y/N) I TRUSTED YOU!!!!” -QueenRab

“Guys it’s just a game, don’t take it so-“ -(U/N)

“I STILL WANNA BEAT ALL YOU LAME ASS BITCHES!!!! ILL KICK ALL YOU’RE ASSES!!! JUST YOU FUCKING WAIT!!” -QueenRab

“Mirko please calm down. You’re being loud and obnoxious.” -Endeavor

“(Y/N) is right, even though she killed me. I applaud her devotion to the role. She outsmarted us well.” -DarkBoy

“TOKOYAMI!!! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE ON MY SIDE!!!! -HAWKS GO GET YOUR OWN PHONE STOP YELLING AND GRABBING MINE!!!” -(U/N)

“HAWKS YOURE NOT DOING YOUR TASKS?!?!” -QueenRab

“HELL NO THATS BORING. I LIKE WATCHING (Y/N) LOSE! -HEY! I KILLED YOU!” -(U/N)

------------------------------------

You muted yourself and stopped listening to the chat of everyone arguing, mainly Mirko to everyone about doing tasks. You wondered around and looked for Dabi, following him around and assisting in Sabotage. Warm hands roamed over your waist, and a soft kiss was placed on your temple, soft red feathers brushing over your shoulders and lightly dusting over your leg. “Someone’s getting cuddly.” You announced quizzically, watching Dabi lure Twice into comms before killing him and running out. Your lovers scruffy chin rested against your shoulder, his head leaning against yours as he watched your screen. “Even though I’m still annoyed that you killed me, I’m proud of you baby bird. It’s difficult for people to out talk me. Especially you.”

“Was that an insult or a compliment?” You asked not really sure how to feel about his comment. He laughed lowly, the rumbled of his chest vibrating your back. “Hmm... let’s say both. Win win, yeah?” He began to kiss up your neck, the soft smacking of his wet lips against your skin echoing in your ears and making you shiver. “Keigo... what are you doing?” He hummed in dismissal of your words, rubbing your sides gently before slipping down to your hip. “What? I can’t love on you? I show my pretty bird some affection~?” Your lips set into a firm line and you gave him a look. “...you’re still sleeping on the couch.” He pouted. “So... no sex?”

------------------------------------

*DISCUSS/Zzzawa reported a body*

*2wice has died*

------------------------------------

“It was in communications.” -Zzzawa

“Dabi was with me the whole time. I met up with him after he finished a task in weapons. We fixed oxygen and met back up in the cafeteria and moved to reactor.” -MyDadSucks

“You’re the only one down there, and imposters can self report. You put yourself in a bit of a bind there. Mr. Caterpillar man. Guess the teacher ain’t that smart.” -Dabeebee

“I agree. My apologies Mr. Aizawa. No offense or hard feelings.” -MyDadSucks

“None taken Shoto. The evidence is stacked against me. Good game Dabi.” -Zzzawa

“Nice knowin’ ya both.” -Dabeebee

“Wait what-“ -MyDadSucks

------------------------------------

*Zzzawa WAS EJECTED*

------------------------------------

Victory flashed in your screen and you fist pumped the air cheering in victory. Hawks frowned beside you, pulling his hands away and tucking his wings between you, cocooning himself away from you to sulk that he had lost in a game he was supposed to be really good at. “Baby come here.” You called out to him, gently stroking his wings. He grunted and moved a wing down to glare. “...we can have sex later?” He moved his wings to wrap around you again and his arms were around you tightly, hot breath fanning slightly over your ear. “Thank you love bird~ and congrats on winnin’ the game. But...” You swallowed thickly. “B-But what...?”

“I’ll be winnin’ in the bedroom.”

------------------------------------

“Did you forget we weren’t on mute anymore? Horny idiots.” -Zzzawa

“Hawks!” -Endeavor

“(Y/N) IM COMING TO BEAT HIS ASS!!! DONT LET HIM TOUCH YOU!!!” QueenRab

“I think I should get reward for winning, doll. Wanna come to my place? Forget about that birdbrained idiot. Cum for me~” -Dabeebee

“DABI THE FUCK?! Stop being sexual. It’s disgusting.” -Crustball

“I don’t understand why you’re all like this. Was there a class I missed about being weird?” -MyDadSucks

“No. They’re just weird.” -DarkBoy

“Wait we lost.” -2wice

------------------------------------

END.

#my hero academia #my hero headcanons #bnha dabi #hawks #hawks headcanons #among us #my hero academia tokoyami #shoto todoroki #shoto aizawa #mr aizawa #shigaraki tomura #pro hero mirko #endeavor #twice mha #my hero academia x reader #crack headcanon

273 notes · View notes

sparkkeyper · 4 years

Text

Baby, It’s Cold Outside

Word Count: 3,797

Warnings: None

Summary: Old habits die hard. Crowley and Aziraphale’s habits are very, very old. Building their own side is difficult when 6000 years of instincts won’t shut up.

(Originally very loosely-based on the song "Baby, It's Cold Outside" but then it kind of did its own thing, haha. I was originally going to post this for Advent Omens but uhhh you can see that didn’t quite happen. Written as ace but you can read it however you want, really. Guess what fools, it’s Soft Boi hours again!)

(Now on AO3!)

-----------

The snow had started early in the day. When Aziraphale arrived at the Mayfair flat it was just a dusting. But the flurry had become a proper snowfall, and then quickly decided 'go big or go home' and transitioned into a flat-out storm.

This didn't phase the two immortals in the slightest, of course. If anything, the swirling flakes outside made it feel even cozier inside. Crowley's sleek, minimalist flat had grown a fireplace for the occasion, and a very surprised new chimney on the roof of the building found itself venting smoke that somehow managed to bypass three floors.

They sat together on the plush sofa (obtained at Aziraphale's insistence several months prior, on the grounds that he wasn't going to continue coming over if there was nowhere comfortable to sit, and Crowley couldn't have that) and drank wine and talked and laughed and reveled in the feeling of being cozy and warm on a cold, blustery day.

Time had traveled on in the usual manner since Armageddon failed to happen. The two of them were unwinding slowly. Thousands of years of looking over shoulders did not evaporate in an evening, benevolent Antichrist or no, and 'our side' was a concept they were still carefully exploring. But what a glorious exploration it was.

There was no limit to the amount of time they could spend together. It was a dizzying concept that they were both adjusting to, but one that carried a thrill through it all the same. Crowley had been sorely tempted to buy tickets to every concert, play, and musical revue London had to offer and do nothing but attend shows for the foreseeable future, the two of them together. In public. He very well might have done too, if Aziraphale hadn't talked him down amid giddy chuckles. "We have time," Aziraphale had reminded him, and Crowley was ecstatic to realize that it was true.

He had relented to two a week.

It was elating. They stood closer together, they sat beside each other on public transportation rather than one behind the other, they gave each other teasing nudges with elbows.

And sometimes - when they were both at least a bottle in - one of them might even bump their hand against the other's, and fingers might intertwine, and an electric tingle would flood Crowley like a live thing, and most importantly neither would pull away for at least two solid minutes and oh wasn't that alone worth saving the world for?

Crowley spent a previously-unheard-of amount of time at the bookshop and Aziraphale's face always lit up like the sun whenever he walked in. He arrived early, stayed late, sometimes didn't bother going home at all, often showed up with wine or snacks, and they were together and it was wonderful. He had fallen asleep on the bookshop couch in the past, but these months he got the impression that Aziraphale had zoned the piece of furniture as specifically his. There was a permanent place set aside for him in Aziraphale's home, in Aziraphale's life. It made a warmth pool in his stomach to think about it despite the creeping winter chill.

Aziraphale had begun to visit Crowley's flat in return. The angel had never once set foot in the place until the night after the airfield - Crowley had never given him the address, to be fair - but now that permission had been granted Aziraphale was here increasingly often. It was so like the easy evenings at the bookshop, just with more austere surroundings. Music, alcohol, debates and memories and slightly drunken speculation. The occasional temporary twining of fingers. It was good.

It was overwhelming sometimes, this new 'good'.

Aziraphale always left the flat at the end of the evening, usually around ten. He had no reservations whatsoever about chatting until dawn in the bookshop but the flat was a new environment, Crowley supposed. Possibly something to do with propriety.

Possibly something to do with thousands of years of distance that they were both still figuring out how to cross.

But that was Aziraphale, all right: as slow and steady as a glacier when it came to his set, comfortable ways. So much had changed in the past few months and the angel had had to adapt quickly. Crowley didn't begrudge him taking a few things slow. Old habits were hard to break and their habits were very, very old.

Crowley understood well how shadows could linger even in the bright daylight. It was all well and good to say he was off Hell's payroll. It was another thing entirely when instinct crept up on him screaming that he needed to watch his back, to sit a row behind Aziraphale on the bus, to have forty excuses ready for when Dagon came auditing. It took considerable effort to override those instincts and remind himself that 'together' was okay. It was allowed. And still he'd so far only managed to turn the volume down on them, not silence them completely. He didn't know if he ever would. Crowley didn't doubt Aziraphale had similar instincts of his own. If the angel felt better setting himself a curfew, Crowley certainly wasn't going to judge.

But tonight they were here, and warm, and sheltered from the blizzard. As 'retro' had begun to slide back into style, Crowley had picked up a sleek addition to his stereo system that was at once a record turntable, radio, tape deck, and CD player, with added Bluetooth capability for good measure. Strains of Vivaldi swam through the room from a vinyl, mingling with the crackling of the fire and the clinking of wine glasses. Aziraphale was settled deeply into the sofa, his posture several steps short of perfect which was how Crowley knew he was truly relaxed. Crowley, as per usual, was draped over the couch like he'd never seen one before in his life, as though he had too many limbs and didn't know what to do with them all. It was good.

Life was good.

It was a little after ten when Aziraphale spoke up. "It's getting late." His voice was a bit distant as he looked out the window, snow glinting in the reflected light as it fell. "I suppose I ought to be going."

There was a note of regret to his voice, a lack of conviction in his eyes, that Crowley had learned to read over the long years of the Arrangement. A smile pulled at the corner of the demon's mouth, covered up easily by another sip of wine. It was a very old game they played, treading carefully along the outside edges of things that could not or should not be said aloud. Expectations, angelic ones in particular, built a lot of barriers. Aziraphale wanted something that wasn't allowed him - or wasn't supposed to be allowed him - and couldn't bring himself to reach out and grasp it. It was Crowley's job to find ways for him to justify the forbidden something to himself.

In the subtle language they shared, the angel was asking Crowley to tempt him, and how could Crowley pass up a request like that?

"Awfully cold out there," the demon drawled, gesturing languidly toward the window with his wine glass. "Snowing like nobody's business. Wind and ice and subzero chill. Terrible night to be out in."

"I'm sure it's not so bad."

"Not so bad? It's been raging for hours! Look at it! It's knee-high! You expect me to try and drive my poor car out in that mess?"

Aziraphale raised an eyebrow at the demon. "Ah yes. Imagine if humans invented other forms of transportation aside from your horrid car."

The demon's argument was all bluff and they both knew it. The Bentley could slice through the snowdrifts like a hot knife through butter if Crowley wanted it to. It wasn't the strength of the argument that mattered - it was whether or not Aziraphale could twist it to bypass the metaphorical roadblocks. Crowley rose to the challenge by sprawling back on the sofa with a smirk. "Other forms of transportation? You mean a bus, in weather like that? And good luck finding a cab out there, angel. City's practically shut down."

Aziraphale stood, giving his back a tentative stretch. "I could walk, of course. I've done it loads of times. It doesn't take much more than twenty minutes, not counting the care that has to be taken for ice."

"Walk, he says!" Crowley tossed back the remainder of his wine like a shot glass. "Think of it - the first angel in history to catch pneumonia! Bad job I'm not working for Hell anymore; they'd give me an award!"

"If doing those temptations in Qashliq for you didn't give me pneumonia, I'm quite sure nothing will."

"Are you ever going to let that go? It was over four hundred years ago!"

"It was February in Siberia, no I will not."

"Suppose you did stay a bit longer," Crowley ventured, changing tactics. It was a risk, coming at the problem from such a direct angle when they were both so used to ghosting along edges. "Bookshop wouldn't go anywhere, would it?"

Aziraphale blinked at the abrupt transition. "Well no, I shouldn't think so. It's just...I mean if I don't return home someone might notice of course and well...people will talk."

Crowley leaned forward over his knees, seriously. "Angel. When, in two hundred years in that bookshop, have you ever given a single fuck what your human neighbours think?"

Aziraphale drew himself up with a huff, and Crowley was delighted to see familiar indignation winning out over nerves. "I am an upstanding member of the community, I'll have you know. And it's not just my neighbours, of course - it's yours as well. That little old lady who lives on the floor below, for example. She always gives me that look when I pass her in the lift."

"What look?"

"You know! That look! Like she thinks she knows what's going on between the two of us."

The demon grinned like a Cheshire cat and gave a suggestive wiggle of his shoulders just for the expression it painted across the angel's face. "You're worried that my neighbours are going to think you and I took a tumble in the sheets?"

"They already suspect! Or at least she suspects." Aziraphale was trying so hard to keep a straight face, but mirth glinted behind his eyes. "Do you know what she said to me as she was getting out of the lift the other day? 'Don't forget to use protection; you don't know where he's been!'"

Crowley howled, leaning so far back in his laughter that he fell off the couch.

"I don't know what's more outlandish, the idea that we're in here having a lurid physical affair or the idea that I don't know exactly where you've been."

Crowley wiped his eyes dry and held out a hand so the angel could help pull him up from the floor. "Remind me to miracle her fridge so that all her milk keeps past its date. 'Don't know where he's been' indeed."

Aziraphale fought to get his own smile under control, for the sake of his argument if nothing else. "Yes, but it just goes to show, Crowley, people do notice. And they will talk, I'm sure of it."

"Let them," he waved it off. "I've seen tissue paper with more durability than human gossip. It'll all get forgotten in a day or two." Crowley leaned over and refilled both glasses.

"Right. I suppose it will." The angel took a tentative sip and sat back into the sofa again. "Silly thing to get worked up about, really."

On a regular night that might have been the end of it. They'd had their verbal tennis, they'd had a laugh, and Aziraphale had accepted another drink. But try as he might, the angel couldn't seem to settle. There was a stiffness, a tension to his spine that would not unwind. He fidgeted with the stemware, shooting furtive glances at the window, the fireplace, the clock.

The ceiling.

The final notes of Vivaldi faded out, leaving the room in silence, and Crowley rose to swap the record. The discomfort radiating off the angel was almost palpable and it made his own spine crawl. "Aziraphale--"

"Only, the wind really looks dreadful," Aziraphale blurted out, jolting to his feet and crossing to the window. "I really ought to go before it gets worse."

"Can't get much worse than it is, I think," Crowley countered carefully. "Best stay where it's warm."

"I don't..." Aziraphale stared out at the London skyline, nearly invisible in the storm. Pale fingers worried absently at the hem of his waistcoat. His mouth was down to a thin line and there was quite a lot behind his eyes. He looked pained. "I shouldn't impose."

"You're not imposing if I'm offering."

"It isn't...it isn't right for me to stay!"

The demon set down the vinyl he was holding, something dangerous layering his words. "Says who?"

"I've been ignoring protocol too much as it is--"

Crowley gritted his teeth, a growl rising in his throat. "There is no protocol on our side!"

"I know!" Aziraphale snapped. There was a beat of silence and the anger in the angel's face melted as suddenly as it had come, leaving his expression frustrated and upset. He scrubbed a hand across his eyes, almost apologetically. "I...I really can't...surely you understand why I can't just..." He ran a hand through his hair helplessly, eyes darting to the ceiling.

The demon set his glass down and moved over to the window.

It was a very old game they played. Crowley was good at his job and Aziraphale was good at the mental gymnastics required to fit through some of the more dubious loopholes. But every now and then they still lost.

He positioned himself in front of the principality, forcing Aziraphale to look at him.

"Angel," he said quietly, as though someone might overhear. "If you want to head home, I'll take you. You know I will. I'd just rather it be because you want to rather than because they would want you to."

Aziraphale looked truly miserable. "Crowley, you've been a marvelous host, you really have, but...I'm so sorry, I..."

Crowley stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. For just a moment the demon's face was soft, genuine. A bit sad but still impossibly fond. "Don't be." He gave the shoulder a gentle squeeze. "It's late. Get your coat, angel, it's cold out there." He doused the fireplace with a wave and stretched his back out. "Give me a moment to sober up and I'll start the car."

Aziraphale sighed, clearly frustrated at a great many things, but headed for the coat rack while the demon forced the alcohol from his system. "It ought to be fine," he muttered as the wine bottles in the corner finished refilling. "It ought to be fine. I can't explain it, I..."

"It's like someone's standing too close inside your personal space," Crowley finished for him quietly, pulling a coat of his own from the ether. "Like you're driving on the motorway and you end up in the blind spot of a lorry. There's no great outward change but all of a sudden the hairs are up on the back of your neck and your skin is crawling. And you just have this overwhelming sense of this is not a good place to be, get out."

"Yes," Aziraphale murmured unsteadily. "Yes, that's it exactly." His eyes found Crowley's, apologetic, searching.

"It is what it is, angel," he assured him softly. "We have time."

A weight seemed to lift from Aziraphale's shoulders. "I...thank you. Truly." There were things unspoken that Crowley could hear beneath that simple phrase. Thank you for understanding. Thank you for being patient with me.

Don't say that, hesitated on the tip of Crowley's tongue. Instinct was, of course, very old and very strong. He swallowed down the words and searched for new ones to replace them.

"You're welcome," he said quietly. The syllables tasted foreign in his mouth.

There was silence in the flat as he buttoned up his coat. Despite the passing months they truly had only moved the barest steps away from where they had been.

They had so very far to go yet.

But it was true. They had time.

"Right." He tried to break the mood as casually as he could, slipping dark glasses on and turning his voice into something light and easy. "Shall we be off then? After you, angel."

The lift ride down was silent, subdued. Something complicated was warring behind the blue eyes and Crowley wasn't going to even begin to touch on it until they were in the car. Aziraphale's steps faltered as he reached the glass doors of the lobby, and Crowley was halfway down the outside stairs before he realized he wasn't following.

"Oi, you coming?"

Aziraphale stared down at the space beyond the door with a peculiar expression: uncertainty and determination and anger and hurt. "I - I don't..." There was a moment of indecision, of frantic debate on his face, then he backed quickly over to the lobby bench and sat down hard.

Crowley pulled his coat tighter about himself as the wind bit through his clothes and ducked back into the building.

Aziraphale held very still, eyes closed and fingers gripping the edge of the bench.

"Angel?"

"Give me a moment. Please."

Crowley paced a cautious half-circle around him, instinctively scanning the principality for damage and the storm beyond the glass wall for threats. Another old habit - nearly useless now but one he wasn't going to be able to drop any time soon. He sat down beside the angel and the lobby was quiet for a very, very long time.

"I think," murmured Aziraphale at last, "if it's all right with you, I'd like to stay."

Crowley studied him closely. "Are you sure?"

"No." Aziraphale met his gaze. "I haven't been sure of much of anything, recently. Not since Tadfield. But I do not want to be forced back to the bookshop tonight."

"Shouldn't force yourself to stay if you're only going to be miserable."

"It's not so bad down here, that's the silly thing. But for some reason the idea of going back upstairs is just..." He laughed wryly. "What a mess I've made of the evening."

"It was a fine evening," Crowley told him earnestly.

"I thought so too, at least until the end there." He straightened, and looked a bit more like himself to Crowley's eyes. "And it's my most sincere hope that, with some more wine and another record, it might be again. Give me a few minutes. I think I can work up to it."

The demon took his glasses off and studied him closely. The determination in those eyes, the set of that jaw, were so familiar they hurt. There was a nervousness there, but there was a stubbornness as well. Like the glacier: slow, steady, but deep down so, so strong.

Crowley reached behind himself and retrieved a pair of full wine glasses that suddenly and thoughtfully decided to exist. "You know, I reckon..." he said quietly, handing one to Aziraphale, "that these will taste just as good right here as they would upstairs."

Aziraphale blinked. Glanced from his glass to the demon to the lift and back again. And his expression softened considerably.

"And if music and wine is what it takes to hang onto your company for a little longer, I s'pose that's the sacrifice I'll have to make, won't I?" He sat his phone down beside him and with a few taps Mozart began to play from its speakers.

Aziraphale stared deep into his wine glass, a smile spreading across his face that he didn't seem quite ready to share with the world yet. "A little unorthodox, isn't it?"

"And?" Crowley shrugged. "Last I checked, there's no protocol on our side."

"So there isn't. Do you know, I think I like that about it."

The demon lowered his voice. "Say the word any time, you know. We'll go, no questions asked."

"I know." Aziraphale let out a long breath and settled back onto cushions that were suddenly far more plush than anything the lobby bench had seen before. "But at the moment I'd rather be here."

The storm howled beyond the glass wall but the central heating vent behind them kept any stray chills at bay. They sat in gentle silence for a long time.

Piano Sonata No. 14 wound through the room, mingling with the warmth and the wine to kindle a sense of calm: a concoction of human magic that miracles, for all their power, could never replicate. Clever things, those humans.

Crowley traced a finger around the rim of his glass. "Can I ask what changed your mind?" he asked softly.

Aziraphale gazed off into the distance for a moment before looking back to his companion. "It was the 'you're welcome', funnily enough. You've always objected so vehemently to being thanked before."

"Yeah, well..." Crowley took another sip of his drink so as not to meet Aziraphale's eyes. "Like being in the blind spot of a lorry."

Aziraphale nodded. "It's..." He trailed off. Took a swig of wine and swallowed it down hard, as though for courage. "It's a comfort," he admitted so quietly that Crowley had to strain to hear him. "To know that it's not just me."

Crowley pursed his lips. "Not by a long shot, no" he confessed, equally quiet.

"I know accepting gratitude doesn't come easy to you. But you managed, tonight."

"It isn't a footrace, angel. I'm not asking you to keep pace with me."

"I know that. And I'm grateful. It's just... seeing you be brave makes me feel like...like I can be as well."

That smile was tugging at the edge of Crowley's mouth again. He reached out and clinked the edge of his glass with Aziraphale's. "Course you can be. Always have been."

The angel smiled back at him, warm and glowing and grateful, just the faintest hint of pink darkening his cheeks. With a daring Crowley had only seen behind the safety of closed doors and wine bottles, he placed a hand on the bench between them, palm up.

Crowley took it.

Meeting him in the middle, as always.

"Careful, angel," the demon murmured in his ear. "Remember, you don't know where I've been."

Aziraphale gave an undignified snort into his wine glass and their laughter echoed throughout the lobby.

The storm raged cold outside, but here, in their own little in-between place, they were warm.

#good omens #good omens fic #ineffable husbands #my fic #my writing #soft husbands all the time #sneaking in under the deadline like a boss #asexual ineffable husbands #Good omens heaven is full of assholes #they'll be okay they just need a little time and practice

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everybodyscupoftea · 4 years

Note

Hi can you please write something angsty for frat!jj when they’re already dating. Something where he has to fight for her. Idk you pick the scenario 😂

kinda mentioned this scenario in this post about the reader being clingy, so i’ll go more into it now!

super easy for me to write because this has happened to me hahaha i love men :)

warnings: cursing, lack of editing

jj’s big brother had a date with a girl in one of his classes and he was nervous about it, so he asked jj if the two of you would go on a double date with them to help carry conversation.

you agreed, kind of excited because it was your first double date as a couple (not including the one with cody and tyler that was technically a crashed date). on top of that the restaurant was really fancy, and not one jj would normally pick but his big wanted to shell out, so jj agreed.

while you were getting ready, your roommate came and sat on your bed to watch you do your makeup and catch up. you were squirming a bit, in excitement, and after telling you about her classes, she sighed, “okay, gush about your date.”

so you did, “he’s great, things are going amazing. i’ve honestly never felt like this before.”

she was smiling softly at you and your face heated up, “what?”

“nothing. this is just cute, like you’ve been crushing on him for so long, it’s nice to see.”

before you could respond, your phone started ringing, interrupting your music, and you smiled at seeing jj’s name.

“hey, bub,” you answered, setting down your mascara wand.

“hey, babe. i’m so sorry, but our other couple bailed and i’m not feeling too good. would you mind if i called in and cancelled the reservation.”

“oh,” you deflated a little, “yeah, that’s okay. you want me to get something delivered to the house?”

“no, i’m probably just going to sleep it off.”

“okay, that’s fine. let me know how you’re doing when you wake up, yeah?”

“yeah. thanks for understanding, sweetheart.”

“anytime,” you whispered, dropping the phone from your ear as soon as you heard the dial tone.

your roommate got up from the bed and wrapped her arm around you, “what happened?”

“jj’s coming down with something, so he cancelled. guess i’m here alone for the evening.”

she frowned, “i’m so sorry, dude, i’d hang out with you but i made plans already. you good to stay alone? i’m sure they’d be chill with you coming to dinner with us?”

“nah, i’m good, promise.”

so she left to get ready and you changed out of your nice outfit for leggings and a t-shirt. wrapping yourself in a blanket, you parked it on the couch, ordered pizza, and put on a movie for then night.

weirdly jj texted you around 10 p.m. apologizing, and you frowned, sending back.

it’s all good, you can’t control it or anything

it didn’t come up again until a few weeks later when cody, tyler, and you were eating burritos at a place off campus. cody was ragging on tyler for a shitty night he had in a house video game tournament.

“yeah, like you did any better, jj swept the whole fucking house.”

“he got lucky,” cody defended, “he wasn’t even supposed to take part in it anyway.”

you laughed, “both of you guys just suck. when was this? i’m shocked jj didn’t brag about it immediately.”

tyler chewed a bit of burrito with a shrug, “i don’t know, like maybe 3 friday’s ago?”

you frowned and took out your phone, scrolling back through your texts to see the timestamp of the friday he cancelled on you. it was three weeks. your chest ached a little, but you tried to hide your disappointment when you answered, “oh, gotcha.”

cody didn’t process your tone change, but tyler gave you a look. he frowned, “wait, what’s up?”

“oh, nothing. i just, are you sure that was the night?”

“yeah,” cody said, mid-bite.

“is something wrong?” tyler asked.

“yeah, i just, i thought he was sick that night?” you mumbled.

“nope, maybe he was saturday, we drank a lot that night, but friday he was all good,” tyler told you, looking confused.

“oh, well, we were supposed to go on a date, but he cancelled super last minute.”

“that would explain the last minute join,” cody responded, not looking up.

tyler, looking at you, elbowed him and hissed, “dude, shut the fuck up.”

“what?” cody asked, defensively.

when tyler elbowed him again, cody looked up and caught sight of your face. it must’ve had a weird look because cody shoved his food away and reached for your hand, “wait what did you just say?”

“we had plans that night. he told me he was sick.”

tyler sighed, “oh fuck, that’s not good.”

cody drove the three of you back to the house in relative silence, interrupted infrequently by empty threats from tyler. jj was sitting in the living room when you got there, looking up when you walked in and narrowly ducking to avoid getting hit by the burrito tyler threw at his head.

“what the fuck?” jj asked with a laugh, “gotta give me a heads up. normally people do so by yelling hands.”

tyler didn’t laugh. he and cody stood on opposite sides of you, each with an arm around your shoulders, and jj stood up, looking concerned. tyler took a small step in forward, “great advice, next time i’ll throw harder.”

jj furrowed his eyebrows, “is something wrong?”

“i don’t know, maybank, you tell me,” cody practically growled.

“not that i’m aware of,” jj responded, eyes moving between the three of you.

“congrats on that apex tournament win,” you offered weakly.

“oh, thanks,” jj told you before his eyes went wide and the blood drained from his face. he looked rattled, and it felt kind of good to have the upper hand for once in the whole shitty situation.

tyler moved his arm from around your shoulder and fully stepped in front of you when jj reached for you, “yeah, not today, buddy. we’re going to take her home and you can figure out how to properly apologize.”

after they took you home, you didn’t hear from jj until nightfall. he texted you asking to meet for breakfast before your first class to talk it out. so you picked the shittiest diner near your apartment and agreed to meet him there at 7:30.

he pulled up and parked next to you, getting out first to open your car door and help you out. you sighed, “morning, jj.”

jj leaned down for a kiss, frowning when you turned your head. he hesitated, “morning. you, uh, you hungry?”

“a little.”

you followed him in, it was awkward, unlike anything the two of you had ever had to deal with before, and it felt weird. the night before you’d been venting to your roommate. you cried and she told you, “tell him if he doesn’t straighten up, you’re gone. the two of you are adults, tell him to fucking act like it.”

your orders were the first time the two of you talked besides greetings. another thing your roommate suggested was that you let him talk first since he was in the wrong. you were worried you’d be waiting forever if you did.

“i’m sorry,” he started, breaking the silence just after your food arrived.

“for what?”

“lying.”

you nodded, “why couldn’t you just tell me the truth?”

“it seemed like it wouldn’t be that big of a deal. one of the boys was going through a breakup and the tournament was a cheer up thing for him. i wanted to be there.”

“our plans had mostly fallen through, why didn’t you just tell me that’s the reason. i would’ve been disappointed, sure, but i wouldn’t have demanded you take me out still.”

jj frowned, shoving his eggs around his plate, “i felt really shitty about it. i know you’re really reasonable with that kind of stuff, but i don’t know. i didn’t want to hurt your feelings. and i figured some space would be good.”

“well,” you laughed bitterly, “look where we are now. i’d say you’re getting your wish.”

“i really am sorry, i won’t do it again.”

“just eat, we’ll figure it out later. i just needed to hear an explanation.”

he looked like he wanted to argue, but did as you said. eventually you’d forgive him, but you needed some time to be hurt about it first. the fact that his first plan was to lie to you was concerning. you’d watched all his failed relationships over the years, what made you think you were going to be different?

jj paid when the two of you left and stopped you before you could get into your car. grabbing your shoulder, he asked, “are we okay?”

“i,” you paused, “we can be. but if you lie to me about the little stuff, the superficial shit, how can i trust you’ll be honest with me about the big stuff?”

shoving his hands in his pockets, he nodded, “you’re right.”

“on top of that, how can i trust anything you’ve told me since we’ve started dating is true? that night the girl was hanging off of you and you said you wouldn’t let her take it farther, was that true?”

“babe,” he tried to interrupt.

“no, listen to me,” you warned, “honesty is important to me, and if i catch you in another lie, it’s over. no three strikes, you get one more chance.”

his face lit up, “i promise, no more lies.”

“good.”

you let him finally pull you into a hug and blinked back tears, really hoping you hadn’t just set yourself up for further heartbreak.

#frat!jj #pike!jj #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank #jj maybank request

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writer-k-pop · 3 years

Text

The Tailor (h.j.s) - Waning Crescent Hotel

Please read this (W.C.Hotel) if this is the first post of this series that you see. Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of death Genre: Angst, Hotel Del Luna AU, Choose your own adventure, SVT x Fem! Reader Staff: Yong (Spirit General Manager) / Jiwoo (Human General Manager) / Soon Bok (Room Manager) / Mun Hee (Front Desk Receptionist) / Shin (Grim Reaper assigned to Waning Crescent) Word Count: Ending A - 4.3k / Ending B - 4.3k

W.C.Hotel | Seventeen Masterlist | Masterlists

"And what would you like me to do about that?" Soon Bok asks loudly as I walk into the lobby. The guest standing in front of Soon Bok is standing with her arms crossed and a hip popped. I immediately know that the guest has been giving Soon Bok sass and Soon Bok doesn't take sass from guests.

"That's what I thought." Soon Bok says when the guest doesn't have anything to say, "Now, please, go and enjoy the hotel's amenities while I help other guests." Soon Bok bows politely as the biggest bitch slap she can give without actually laying a finger on the guest.

I snicker and take the long way to meet up with Soon Bok while avoiding the guest.

"Sassy?" I ask when I catch up with the rooms manager.

"You have no idea." Soon Bok breathes out. "She wanted me to change her room. And you wanna know her reasoning?"

I stay silent and let Soon Bok continue venting.

"Because she didn't like the rug. The freaking rug!" Soon Bok throws her hands up in the air in disbelief, "And then she has the nerve to ask me to move her room even though we are nearly fully booked with people checking in during the day and the night. Crazy bitch." Soon Bok grumbles with disgust.

I laugh and place a hand on her shoulder, "How did you ever survive here for so long, Soon Bok?"

"With great skill." Soon Bok jokes lightly. "Hey, have you seen Mun Hee? He was supposed to do something for me but he disappeared awhile ago."

I look around the lobby in search of our young receptionist. "He disappeared from me too. I'll go find him and tell him he's needed."

Soon Bok nods in thanks, "I'll be doing rounds in the 600 level."

"I'll send him right up." I say with a smile before breaking away to find Mun Hee.

I check around the lobby once more to make sure he isn't hiding behind some couch. But I have no luck. So I walk through the front reception doors to check his regular working station and low and behold, Mun Hee is sat behind the counter, scrolling through his phone, and laughing like he doesn't have a job that needs doing.

"Jang Mun Hee." I cross my arms over my chest and just stare at him. The sound of my voice startles him so much that he sends his phone tumbling across the desk and he stumbles as he stands on his feet.

"I-I wasn't scrolling through videos." Mun Hee stutters out a bad excuse, "I-I was doing research for our hotel."

I raise my eyebrows at him in suspicion and keep my mouth shut.

"I was watching videos." Mun Hee lowers his head in shame.

"Well, Soon Bok is looking for you." I tell him, uncrossing my arms.

Mun Hee's mouth drops open in realization. "Oh shoot. She asked me to print some things for her." His hands tap nervously against the desk, "Oh. Oh. Oh. (y/n) can you stay here for just a few minutes while I go do that? Please?" He asks.

I nod once, "She's in the 600 level."

Mun Hee clasps his hands together in thanks, "Oh, thank you, thank you." He rushes past me, "I'll be right back!" He says and yanks the door to the hotel open then is gone from my sight.

I shake my head and chuckle before making my way behind the desk. Standing behind the desk for the first time in hundreds of years, I run my hands over the polished wood. Behind me, a wall lists all the rooms available and each room number has a light next to it. The rooms who's light is turned off have a guest situated there. Seeing as our hotel is quite nearly full, most of the lights are turned off but there are still a good number lit.

The bell above the front door dings, announcing a guest's arrival.

"Welcome to the Waning-" I start the usual speech but stop when I see the guest's face.

"Hi. Am I in the right place?" The guest with Sang Kyu's face asks while looking around our pretty empty reception area.

"I, I can check that for you if you uh, would just show me your palm." I stutter in the face of one of my former human managers.

The guest with Sang Kyu's face willingly holds out his hand, palm up. I have to read over his palm a couple times to make sure I'm reading his lives correctly.

I breathe out in relief and the guest pulls his hand back.

"You actually will need to go find Hotel Blue Moon." I tell him. "Just follow the moon and it'll guide you there."

"I thought that's what I was doing." The guest tilts his head to the side and Sang Kyu's unique confused expression shows through loud and clear.

"You probably were following the moon's shadow." I explain, "The moon's shadow leads you here while the moon leads you to Hotel Blue Moon."

"Ah, I see. So follow the actual moon, yes?" The guest repeats my instructions.

I nod, "Yes, there you will rest before leaving to live another life."

"There's more after this life?" The guest's eyes widen and I'm reminded of Sang Kyu's first few days as a manager and how every single thing amazed him.

"There is." I smile softly.

"Thank you." The guest says and quickly makes his way out of the reception area.

I sigh as the door closes behind him, "The Gods have given you 8 lives. Live them well." I sigh again and continue to stare at the closed doors.

"Who was given 8 lives?" Mun Hee asks from behind me.

Startled, I whip around to face him while he has his hands tucked into his pockets.

"Mun Hee, don't sneak up on me like that." I scold him.

"Okay but who was given 8 lives?" He repeats his question, ignoring my fright.

"Sang Kyu's soul." I tell him and lean my forearms on the desk.

"Sang Kyu showed up?" Mun Hee asks and brushes his arm against mine as he copies my body posture.

"A future life did." I say, "But I had to send him to Hotel Blue Moon. His soul's not done yet."

"Damn, I missed him." Mun Hee says disappointed and I turn to face the board of rooms.

"He'll be back." I say, "Which room did Soon Bok put Joshua in?" I ask, searching the rooms as if they'll tell me.

Mun Hee turns around and points to a room with its light off, "312. And he's staying for 14 days. I read his palm." Mun Hee adds before I can say anything.

"Two weeks?" I rephrase the duration of Joshua's stay, "That's so long."

"But it also means he lived a lot of lives, which is good, right?" Mun Hee questions.

"I'm impatient." I give him a lazy smile and push away from the desk to head back into the hotel.

"Oh, are you not going to hang out with me?" Mun Hee asks, his eyes following my movements.

I pause with my hand on the doors and chuckle, "I wish I could, Mun Hee, but you have your job and I have my job. I'll see you later." I wave at him and open the door to the bustling lobby.

~The Fourteenth Day~

I sigh and set down my pen after signing the 19th form of the day and I've only been awake for an hour. With one hand, I close the final folder and the other brings the champagne flute to my mouth. I lean back in my chair and close my eyes after setting the flute back down on my desk. My ears listen to the soft orchestral music I put on for background noise and stretch out my wrist.

"It's just around the corner." Chung Ho argues from the driver's seat. "And it'll only take like six seconds. I just have to pick up my suit jacket."

"Can't you do it on your way home?" I groan and sink further into my seat.

Chung Ho shakes his head, keeping his eyes on the road, "I need it for the thing I have after I get off."

"I'll let you leave early." I try to bargain cause I really just want to lie in my bed and ignore both worlds.

Chung Ho gestures to the road in front of him, "We're basically here. Stop complaining," He turns down a side street full of shops. "You can brood and sulk soon."

I humph and turn my head towards my side window.

The shops we pass are brick-and-mortar stores but most seem to be busy as there are a good amount of people out and about.

Chung Ho parks the car outside of a tailor shop and turns the car off.

"I'll be right back. Wait here." He instructs me and I scoff that he's giving me instructions.

He leaves the car and walks into the store. The store front is quieter than the other surrounding stores and there are some sharp suits set up on mannequins in the front windows.

"Doesn't look too shabby." I mutter and peel my eyes back to the inside of the car.

I turn my attention back to the inside of car where Chung Ho's wallet sits. My hand wraps around the wallet sitting in the center console. Worried that he'll need it, I exit the car and quickly make my way inside the shop.

Chung Ho stands at the counter, patiently waiting for someone, and I make my way over.

Holding out his wallet to him, I announce my presence, "You left this in the car."

He looks down and then up at me, "You do have a heart." He jabs at me like a little sibling.

I roll my eyes as someone approaches with a suit jacket in a clear plastic covering. He's dressed in slacks and a freshly pressed button up shirt. And I have to say he looks quite good. I read his name off of his name tag: Joshua.

"Here you are." Joshua lays out the jacket on the counter then points out where he fixed it but I can't actually tell, "I fixed the stitching on the pocket and the buttons on the sleeves. And there was some loose stitching on the inner layer so I fixed that as well."

"It looks amazing. Thank you." Chung Ho runs his hands over the front of the jacket and pockets his wallet.

As Chung Ho picks up his jacket, Joshua turns to me.

"Have you been helped yet, miss?" He asks and I'm taken aback not expecting it.

"I, I'm with him." I gesture to Chung Ho who is trying so hard to stifle a laugh.

"I see." Joshua looks between us, "Well, if you need anything tailored or custom made, do stop in."

"Thank you." I smile, slightly off put by the normality of his tone.

"Oh, here, take my business card." Joshua hands over a small piece of paper, "My name's Joshua." He smiles and my mind burns the sweet sight deep into my memory.

Quick and consistent knocking brings me out of the memory and I sit up, rubbing my eyes.

"Who is it?" I ask, my voice laced with sleep.

Jiwoo opens the door and stands halfway in the doorway, "It's me."

"Mm, come in." I run my hands through my hair, pushing through the small knots that had formed during my nap.

"You signed all the forms?" Jiwoo asks, noticing the large stacks on my desk.

"Yupp." I say and pop the 'p.'

"Did you even read them?" He asks and raises a questioning eyebrow.

I shrug, "I skimmed."

Jiwoo shakes his head and then scoops of the files, "Soon Bok brought Joshua down just now. You better get going. Don't want to keep your man waiting." He says and winks at me.

I chuckle and quickly make my way out of my office with a wave of goodbye. My heels notify the hotel walls that this boss lady is not to be disturbed on her way to her garden.

When I reach the garden, Joshua is standing, facing me with his head bowed and his hands clasped behind his back. He hears my footsteps and lifts his head up. A smile grows on his face and mine does the same.

"Hey, stranger." Joshua says with a light chuckle.

I run into his arms and sigh happily. "Joshua."

Joshua pulls back and his eyes gaze over my face while he tucks some of my hair behind my ear. "God, you haven't changed a bit." He whispers.

I shyly laugh and Joshua chuckles at my reaction.

"How have you been?" Joshua asks, stroking my cheek with his thumb.

"I've been... existing." I answer him.

"Just existing?" Joshua raises his eyebrows.

"Well, I was living for a while but then I had to wait and at that point I was just existing." I explain then turn the question onto him, "How was your stay?"

"Really nice." Joshua says slightly surprised, "You run a really nice hotel."

"What, did you think I was running an old moldy motel?" I question with a laugh.

Joshua quickly shakes his head, "No, no. I just never expected the after life to be this... extravagant."

"We get our money from the Gods and they do not disappoint." I say with a smug smile. "Plus this is only the beginning, there's still the other side."

Joshua wiggles his eyebrows playfully and twirls me in a circle. "Sounds exciting."

I land back in his arms and he looks around the garden.

"So is this your private garden?" Joshua asks, keeping one arm wrapped around your shoulders while turning his body towards the tree.

"This is." I say, "And that's the tree that keeps me tied here like a chained dog."

"Ah, don't drag innocent dogs into this." Joshua pouts, "Well, you keep it in good condition."

"It keeps itself like that." I tell him and lead him towards the tree. "The Gods use it as a twisted reminder of why I'm running this hotel."

I pull his hand and rest it against the trunk of the tree. "Do you feel it?"

Joshua tilts his head to the side, "What am I supposed to feel?"

I smile softly at him, "Close your eyes and focus on the tree." I tell him and let go of his hand as not to interfere.

"Okay." Joshua whispers and closes his eyes. After a few seconds, he opens his eyes again. "There's a faint heartbeat."

"It's mine." I lean in close to tell him the secret.

"So you are alive." Joshua teases and boops my nose.

"Just cause I have a heartbeat doesn't mean I'm alive." I argue and walk back to sit on the bench.

"Always the stubborn one, aren't you?" Joshua asks, taking a seat next to me on the bench.

I scrunch my face up at him then move the conversation away from the topic of me. "I have a question."

"Ask your question." Joshua says dramatically.

"That first day we met, why did you assume I was just another customer?" I ask and Joshua's face flushes with embarrassment.

"That was so embarrassing." He covers his face with his hands. I giggle and pull his hands away. His cheeks are flushed pink and he smiles sheepishly.

"I thought it was kind of cute." I tell him.

Joshua chuckles while he exhales, "Well, if I'm being completely honest, it was your clothes."

"My clothes?" I question and look down at my outfit.

"Not the ones you're wearing, silly." Joshua nudges his shoulder against mine, "The day you walked in with your friend you were wearing at least what looked like high end stuff and your friend was wearing a lower level of fashion."

"How could you tell it was high end?" I continue to probe into his explanation.

"Have you already forgotten what I did for a living?" Joshua asks, slightly offended but then continues his explanation, "The fabrics your dress was made out of and, not that I was looking," He lays out his defense, "The stitching on your dress was flawless. Damn near perfect."

"You got all that from the what, one minute we were standing in front of each other?" I wonder.

"Uh, yeah." Joshua responds with sass, "I'm a tailor. It's what I did for a living."

"So you totally judged us." I sum up.

"Oh, I totally judged you." Joshua laughs and I join in with him. "Just don't tell your friend that."

"You really don't remember his name?" I ask.

"I was kind of focused on you." Joshua smirks.

I breathe out, "Well, lucky for you, I haven't seen Chung Ho pass through this hotel yet. So he's still out there living lives." I lean in closer to Joshua and poke his tummy. "Speaking of lives, you, sir, lived a fair amount."

"Fourteen is a fair amount?" Joshua wonders. "I thought I would've lived more."

"More than fourteen lives?" I repeat incredulously, "Fourteen lives is a lot! Most souls only live like 5 to 9 lives. You had fourteen."

Joshua laughs in defeat, "Alright, so I lived more than the average number of lives but I still thought I would've lived more."

"The Gods decide all that and I'm pretty sure they spin a wheel to see how many lives each soul will live." I explain and try to joke at the same time. "Which life was your favorite?"

"Hmm." Joshua hums in thought, "My first. Cause you were in it." He lazily smiles.

"That's biased." I roll my eyes.

"No but I am serious about my favorite being my first." Joshua explains, "The clothes I made and the clothes I fixed, I don't know, there was just sometime about the work that I didn't find in any of my other lives."

"So you like using your hands." I conclude and start playing with his hand.

Joshua chuckles and grips my hand securely. "My hands are everything. I get to hold my most favorite thing in my hands." He holds up your interlocked hands for emphasis.

"And what was your favorite part about making or fixing the clothes?" I ask, leaning in closer and listening to the echo of his heartbeat. Strong and steady.

Joshua shrugs underneath me, "The feeling of the cloth underneath my fingers and the motion of sewing the pieces together was just, soothing? Calming?" He searches for the right word.

"I get it." I nod in understanding. "Plus, you always made the seams nearly invisible. You were so good."

"Only for you." Joshua whispered and planted a kiss to the top of my head.

"Nah, I couldn't have been the only one." I deny.

"You're right. You weren't the only one." Joshua states simply and I still at his answer, "I did it for my kids, also."

A smile grows on my face, "Kids? You had kids?"

Joshua mirrors the smile on my face and nods, "I had two. Two girls." He explains.

"Tell me about them." I ask, looking up at him and he settles more comfortably with me.

"What do you want to know?" Joshua asks, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and pulling me closer.

"Everything." I exhale happily, ready to dive into the stories of Joshua's first life.

Joshua chuckles but easily begins telling me all about his girls. Where they went to school, what they ended up doing after college, and even some of their embarrassing stories-many of which he took part in. I listen with admiration as he claims that because of me and my wardrobe full of dresses, he was well versed in the world of dress tailoring.

From his children, he moved onto the shop and how it faired over the years. How he couldn't find a successor for it and it retired when he did. The things he did in retirement and the few grandchildren his daughters gave him. He even lived long enough to meet a couple of his great grandchild.

In between the stories, we'd sometimes get sidetracked and start talking about our own memories. From the happy ones when we had chaotic dates and amazing adventures to the less happy ones where we had our arguments or when I had to return to the hotel for long periods of times and I couldn't tell him where I was going.

As the last of the stories are told, the sun also tells its last stories while it bids the day goodbye.

And it also signals the goodbye I have to say to Joshua.

Joshua sighs and kisses my head then rests his cheek on the top of my head. "My turn to go, huh?" He murmurs.

I slowly nod, "Your turn to go."

"And if I don't want to?" He questions, slumping onto me.

"We don't really have a choice, Joshua." I giggle as my body starts to bend underneath his dead weight.

Joshua pouts like a child and I shake my head.

"You, sir, are a child." I tell him with a laugh.

"My soul is still so young." Joshua says and dramatically places a hand over his heart. "And now it must go to an eternal rest. How unfair and cruel is this world." Joshua flails his body out.

I stand up with an exhale, "Alright, my love. You have a soul that needs resting." I grab his hands one at a time and try to pull him up but he does nothing to help me. He even closes his eyes.

"Joshua..." I drag out his name.

He peeks at me through half opened eyes before suppressing a smile and closing his eyes again.

I cross my arms and tilt my head to the side, "Joshua, come on. I don't want this anymore than you do but come on. Please?"

Joshua sighs in defeat and holds out his hands while opening and closing his fists. Much like a child. "Help me up." He says.

I roll my eyes playfully but give into his request and grab his hands. When he stands, he pulls me so we're standing chest to chest and looks down at me with a look that I can't quite place.

"What?" I ask and he smirks.

"Can't I take in the beauty of the woman I love for a last time?" Joshua questions me.

I release one of his hands and lead him out of the garden, "Yes you can, but you are on a deadline."

Joshua mumbles nonsense and wraps his arms around my waist from behind. "Do you think the weather will be nice over there?" He asks, nuzzling his face into my neck.

"I'm sure the weather will be beautiful over there." I chuckle.

As we enter the lobby, Joshua lightly kisses my neck and a shiver runs down my spine.

"Joshua, behave." I scold him, "The guests will be awake soon."

"Sooo?" He drags out the word in a low voice.

"Joshua." I elbow his stomach, telling him that he seriously needs to stop.

Joshua pulls back and falls in step next to me, "Okay, I'm sorry. I'm just really going to miss you." He explains

"I know." I smile at him as we near the departure door.

Joshua reaches out and opens the door. The night air wastes no time rushing into the hotel. We both stand shoulder to shoulder looking out towards the forest, neither of us aying a word.

That is until the wind blows the sound of an idling engine in our direction. Joshua hears it as well and starts walking forward with me in tow. We walk in silence but Joshua's grip on my hand doesn't lessen one bit. Our footsteps slow as we approach Shin standing next to the idling car.

I take in a deep breath and try to release my hand from Joshua's grasp but he doesn't let go.

"Promise me something?" He asks, reaching into his other pocket.

"Anything." I say, my voice not coming out as strong as I would've liked.

Joshua gives me a small smile and brings something out of his pocket. The colorful cloth floats in the wind and some gold sparkles under the growing moonlight.

"Keep this close." He says and places the cloth in my hand, closing my fingers around it.

I open the fabric in my hands. The deep blue silk is soft against my fingers and I know exactly where i've met this fabric before. It was Joshua's favorite handkerchief.

My hands close over the cloth, "I promise." I promise and Joshua nods in satisfaction.

Joshua leans down and places a sweet kiss on my lips. For those two seconds, I spend the entire time memorizing how his lips feels against mine and how they mold with mine as easily as chocolate sets in a mold. And all too soon, Joshua pulls away and smiles sweetly at me.

Without another word, I watch him walk to the car and lower himself into it. I watch as the car door shuts at the sound solidifies Joshua's exit from this world.

My grip on the handkerchief tightens as the car drives away. I pray that the Gods won't take this last shred of Joshua away from me but of course, they don't listen to me.

Minutes after the car disappears into the forest fog, the satin slowly disappears until all that's left in my grasp is air.

When the cloth has fully disappeared, a white chrysanthemum withers and dies back in the garden. Then I turn back to the hotel and walk straight to my office and lock myself away to wait for the next to arrive.

Return to the Navigation Page (Waning Crescent Hotel) to choose the next guest.

"I wonder which one was right." Joshua says, uncrossing his legs in preparation to stand up.

"Which one was right?" I repeat his question in confusion.

"Which religion was right." Joshua explains, "I was always a Christian but I wonder which one actually had it right."

I smile at his thoughts, "They all are." I tell him, leaning towards him, "That's why they're called 'Gods' and not 'God.'"

"And no one knows." Joshua says in awe.

"Not until they come here." I smile and rise to my feet, "So let's go see it."

Joshua jumps to his feet, "Let's go." He smiles widely and grabs my hand. He leads me out of the garden with a little spring in his step. But as we near the lobby, my footsteps begin getting heavier.

We walk hand in hand to the lobby where Yong, Mun Hee, Soon Bok, and Jiwoo stand solemnly.

"So this is it?" Mun Hee asks with tears in his eyes. "This is the day you leave us?"

I wrap him up in a hug, only a tiny bit annoyed that he's being so sappy. "Maybe I'll get punished again and be back here by the end of the year." I try to joke but Mun Hee abruptly pushes back from me.

"Don't you dare say that. You better not return here." He says angrily through his tears.

I chuckle, "I won't come back. I promise."

Turning to Soon Bok, I thank her for her service and her amazing work. Something I never did and should've done more.

Next onto Jiwoo. I also thank him for his and his entire family's service then I unclip the bracelet that has held him to this place.

"When you leave today, you won't be able to find this place again." I inform him, "I hope that you'll be able to go and live your life happily."

Jiwoo nods, "Thank you for letting me work with you. I won't ever forget you."

I smile sadly, "You will. But thank you."

Finally I reach Yong who is sniffling and trying so very hard not cry.

"You'd think after all these years of waiting that I'd be prepared for this day." She says through sniffles.

"Thank you, Yong." I rests my hands on her shoulders, "For everything. Thank you."

With lips pursed together, she leans forward and wraps me in an unexpected hug. But I soon wrap my arms around her and squeeze her tightly.

We pull apart after a couple seconds and I wipe the few tears that have escaped from her eyes.

"Keep this hotel running beautifully." I tell her before Joshua grabs my hand again.

With final waves of goodbye, Joshua and I walk out to the foggy forest that will take us to our resting place.

At the edge of the forest, Shin stands next to an idling car, a somber look on his face.

"(y/n)." He says when we reach him, "It has been an honor working with you. I wish you both a peaceful rest." Shin bows his head and I pat his arm.

"The honor was mine." I tell him with a smile. Now the tears start to line my eyes as the realization fully sets in.

I'm free. I served my years of punishment and now I'm free to let my soul rest.

I turn back towards the hotel and look up to the top where the rooftop patio is outlined with bright string lights. Then to the mid floors where random room lights are turned on, some guests staying in while others opting to experience the hotel's many services. Then to grand base where guests would be milling around, waiting their turns to leave this world.

"(y/n)?" Joshua softly asks pulling my attention to where he sits just inside the car, "Are you ready?"

I take one last quick look at the hotel before turning away from it. "Yeah, I'm ready. Let's go."

I lower myself into the car and Shin securely closes the door after I am completely inside. As the car begins to drive forward, Joshua securely grabs my hand and I let his warmth guide me towards our final destination.

In the garden, the final chrysanthemum withers and dies so that no more stand at the base of the bare tree.

#kpop #kpop imagine #seventeen #seventeen imagine #seventeen joshua imagine #seventeen joshua #joshua imagine #hong joshua #hong joshua imagine #writer-k-pop #waning crescent hotel

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argylemnwrites · 3 years

Text

Fight or Flight - Chapter 13: Change

Pairing: Drake Walker x MC (Riley Liu)

Book: The Royal Heir (canon divergent from the end of book 2)

Word Count: ~3800

Rating: PG-13 (language only)

Summary: About three weeks since The Walker Absconding

Author’s Note: This series follows the Walkers, their friends, and Cordonia as a whole after they flee the country with their daughter during Barthelemy Beaumont’s attempted coup. To catch up on this series, check out it’s masterlist. (link can be found via my bio - sorry, Tumblr is once again not putting my posts with links in tag searches)

Drake shifted on the bed, running his thumb over the dry cracked skin on the back of his hand, listening as he heard the water running in the little bathroom shut off yet again. She'd been in there for hours. And he didn't like it at all.

He wanted to fight her on this. Her being the one to meet up with Leo to get their belongings - and hopefully some money - seemed like such a massive risk. She was the one the press loved. She was the one that would be recognized. Not him. He had always been able to blend into the background.

Except… Leo being seen with a pretty woman was not at all unusual. And Drake and Leo were more likely to be considered friends, so people would be expecting Drake to be the one to meet up with Leo. Riley made more sense for this particular task. But that didn't mean Drake had to like it.

The thing he didn't like most was that Riley clearly knew what she was getting into. The other night when he'd gotten back tired and sore and reeking of olive oil, his hands so raw they were practically bleeding, she'd been waiting up for him, hellbent on persuading him to let her do this. And of course, she listed a bunch of reasons that made sense as she dug some lotion out of her bag, laying out her arguments as she tried to tend to his hands. She'd even suggested dyeing her hair to help disguise her appearance, hence her spending the entire afternoon in the bathroom today.

But Drake still didn't like it. He'd tried to convince her to let him take care of it all, but eventually she dropped the line that told him Riley knew exactly what she was agreeing to do. What risks she was undertaking.

"She needs you more than she needs me."

Her words were so bleak and haunting. It was clear she had seriously considered the fact that she might get arrested. And that scared the crap out of him. He had always been the pessimist out of the two of them. Not her. She bounced back and adapted and just kept going, sure that the future would be better. And sure, she whined and complained about things to him, but she always had hope. So for her to be talking about a potential arrest? Fuck, that really said it all.

He hadn't known what to say in response to that when she'd first said it. Why would she think that she was the expendable one here? She'd explained it, of course, focusing on how Drake could speak Greek, how he was the one earning any money. But he just couldn't see it that way. Riley was tougher than anyone he knew. Any little pittance of tasks he was taking care of, he was sure she would have found a way to handle it if she'd had to. After all, she had initially been planning to do it all on her own. She had taken care of herself back in New York since she was a teenager. She would be able to do it again, Drake was sure.

But she was convinced, both that she was the right one for the job and that Drake was better for their daughter. And if his wife was one thing, it was stubborn. She never gave up on anything once she dug her heels in and made up her mind. So she was dyeing her hair and meeting up with Leo tomorrow, and that was that. Drake hadn’t thought his stress levels could climb any higher than they’d been the past couple of weeks, but the thought of her taking this risk made him want to throw up.

He glanced over at Bridget, napping peacefully at the head of the bed. He wondered how much of what was going on she was able to process. Not that she would know what was happening, but did she miss her dogs or her Aunt Hana? Did she think it was weird that she didn’t have her own room or crib, but instead just shared a bed with them? Did she even notice that she hadn’t been home in weeks?

Bridget wasn't the only one he was worried about how they were coping and handling everything. He hadn't heard from Liam since that one phone call almost three weeks ago, either publicly or personally. He'd scoured all the news sites for coverage of the ball welcoming Hana as the Duchess of Valtoria, but all he'd been able to find was that Liam attended the event. He didn't appear to have answered any questions from the press, and he certainly hadn't issued a formal statement.

He just wanted one sign, one thing he could point to that would show that Liam was doing okay. Or at least as okay as circumstances would allow. Something that would ease at least a little of the guilt that had moved into his gut. But Liam was staying out of the spotlight, and Drake couldn't help but think that was a bad sign.

He contemplated calling Liam almost every day, but he always stopped himself. Their last conversation still stuck with him. Sometimes he just felt terrible, thinking about the way he handled things, how he couldn’t just let Liam vent on the day he lost his title. Other times, he got pissed, remembering how dismissive Liam was over the stresses they were facing, for the way he showed no sympathy for the fact that the same no-confidence vote that stripped him of his job aimed to take away their kid. Usually, it was a muddled combination of the two that Drake didn’t really know how to handle. So he just didn’t. Liam had made it pretty clear he was done with them anyway.

Over the past couple of weeks, he’d wracked his brain, trying to figure out if there was a way he could have handled everything better. Some way that kept Bridget and Riley safe that didn’t complicate things for Liam. He always came up empty. It was the only thing that kept him going, the knowledge that there wasn’t some magical choice he could have made that would have allowed him to be there for everyone he cared about. This was always going to suck. There was no way to prevent that.

The creak of the bathroom door jolted him out of his own head. He twisted around to look at Riley as she emerged, blinking a couple of times as he took it all in. She was… not blonde exactly. She had told him she didn’t think she’d be able to bleach her hair that light, but it was close. He supposed her hair was a very, very light brown at this point. It was jarring. She didn’t look bad or anything, but even knowing she was going to be dyeing her hair, it still kind of caught him off guard, seeing her like that.

“So am I recognizable as a disgraced former duchess?” she quipped, tossing her hair back over her shoulder.

Drake couldn’t think of anything to say, so he just shook his head. It was just hard to process that she could walk into the bathroom looking like his wife and walk out so different. His brain was scrambling to try and keep up.

Something about his reaction must have bothered her, because she frowned. “What is it, Drake?”

He just shook his head again. “It’s nothing, Walker.” He knew it was nothing. It was just some hair dye. But she just looked different without her crazy dark hair. And as Riley so often pointed out, he didn’t do great with change.

Riley smiled gently at him, walking over and sitting down on his lap, looping her arms around his neck. “I take it you prefer dark hair,” she said, threading her fingers through the hair along the nape of his neck.

He paused at that. She wasn’t wrong, but that wasn’t really it. “It’s just… one more change, I guess,” he said with a shrug. “I’ll get used to it.”

“Oh, stop with the sweet talk or else I'll blush,” she said, her fingers continuing to weave through his hair as she gave him a little smirk that made it clear she was teasing him.

“You know what I mean, Walker,” he said, rolling his eyes as his hands settled on her hips.

“I do. In fact, I’m still deciding how I feel about this,” she said, pulling one hand forward and running it along his jaw.

"My beard?"

She nodded. "I actually never dated someone who wasn't clean-shaven."

Well, that was interesting information to file away for later. "And what's the verdict?"

She leaned back and let her eyes really trace over his face with so much intensity, Drake felt his cheeks growing warm. "Undecided still," she finally settled on, inching back towards him with a nod.

"Come on, you have an opinion on everything. You can tell me if you hate it."

"I don't hate it, Drake. It kind of suits you. It's just… well, the reason you grew it just kind of hangs over everything, you know?"

"Riley…"

She just gave her head a little shake before sliding her hand back around his neck, tugging herself closer to him and tucking her face against his shoulder. He wrapped his arms tighter around her back, feeling her let out a sigh. He wished he knew what he could do or say to make things better. But the sad truth was that nothing could make this better right now.

"I'm so sorry, Drake," she muttered against his neck.

"For what?"

"For… I don't know. I just feel like I should be sorry… about all of it, I guess." She kept her face tucked against his skin, her voice somewhat muffled. It was a sure sign she felt uncomfortable, so Drake just hugged her tighter, dropping his head to rest on top of hers.

After several moments, Riley shifted on his lap, so Drake loosened his hold on her, allowing her to lean back and look him in the eye.

"You don't have to do this, Riley. You don't have to meet with Leo. I can go."

But Riley shook her head. "No, it should be me." Her voice was quieter than usual, but there was something in her eyes that told him not to push her on it. She was scared, but she was sure. So he just nodded, running a hand through her now much-lighter hair.

"I'm not going to go into the restaurant tonight, okay?"

She frowned at that. "Drake, I-"

"-I'm gonna lose that job anyway tomorrow night when I don't show up. My boss made that clear. I just…” Drake trailed off. He couldn’t bring himself to say it, to vocalize his fear that Riley might not come back from her meet up with Leo tomorrow night. Sure, he knew he was risking arrest every time he went to go work at that shitty restaurant, but realistically, no one was looking for a former duke in the back of the kitchen of a tourist trap, hands submerged in soapy water, scrubbing dish after dish.

Leo attracted attention, and his presence in the country where known fugitives were hiding was bound to be seen as at least a little suspicious. It was very probable that Leo’s movements in Greece were going to be closely monitored by not only Cordonia’s intelligence agents, but Monterisso’s as well, if Amalas’s earlier interest in their whereabouts was any indication. And that didn’t even touch on the possibility that this could be a set up of some sort. Drake didn’t think it was. Leo hated the monarchy with a burning passion, and Olivia had been solid in trying to help them in little ways from the start of this whole mess, but without being there for discussions, Drake didn’t know how or why this was happening.

The fact was that tomorrow was going to be a massive risk. But they didn’t have a choice; it’s what they needed to do. Riley knew it. He knew it. But that meant that he didn’t want to spend tonight sweating his ass off and getting sworn at in Greek for not working fast enough. He just wanted to be with his wife and kid, and based on the way Riley was acting, he got the feeling it might do her some good, too.

Riley seemed to get where he was coming from, even without him articulating his horrible thoughts, as she just nodded and shifted back to hug him tightly again.

“Okay, Drake. Okay.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Riley shifted in her seat, trying to avoid drawing attention to herself. She needed to keep her head down, not wanting her face to be clearly visible, but staring at the table constantly was really suspicious looking. So she just sipped her drink and played mindless games on her phone, making sure her hair swung in front of her face somewhat. It was the best she could do.

Leo was supposed to be at this bar by now. Based on what Drake had told her, she wasn’t exactly surprised, and it wasn’t like he was hours late or anything. But she had no way to get in touch with him, and the stress of not knowing was getting to her a bit. She kind of figured the fact that this was her first time out in almost two weeks was also a factor in her anxiety here, as was the fact that this was the first time Bridget was not right with her, or just in the next room over, since they’d fled the palace. But she needed to do this for her family.

When she’d told Drake that she should be the one to meet up with Leo, he’d put up the fight she’d expected. But she knew that it made more sense for her to be the one to do this, so she pushed him on it until he saw it her way. The fact was, she was terrified. Terrified of being caught and arrested without any way of letting Drake know what happened, terrified of being separated from her daughter, terrified of all of it. But that was why she had to be the one doing this.

Drake was going out everyday, taking on those same risks and stressors, all to earn them some money and food. He’d followed her out of Cordonia, knowing it would cost him so much. He’d kept them afloat from the start, planning and buying and communicating and doing all the things Riley wasn’t able to do. She needed to do this one damn thing, if only to stop being a massive drain on Drake and their family.

She couldn’t help but marvel at the fact that Drake still seemed to worry about her. He would be highly justified if he decided to resent her after everything she put him through. He was doing all the hard work, and he had been the one reluctant to flee. Hell, he could have hated her for the fact that she was initially ready to take Bridget and run without him. But he didn’t seem to be mad about it at this point. He didn’t even bring these things up.

But Riley knew she shouldn’t keep pushing her luck on that front. Drake was running himself ragged trying to support them, and if she didn’t start contributing here, the resentment would start creeping in, slowly but surely. She would become this woman who ripped him away from his home and lifelong friends, only to make him carry massive burdens. She just knew it. So, this meeting with Leo was something she needed to do. It was one area where she could be the helpful one, the useful one. She needed to step up and handle it.

So, she’d dyed her hair, handed Drake her engagement and wedding rings, and put on her customer service blank smile and headed out. Meeting Leo at the casinos was out since there would be way too many security cameras, but Olivia had arranged for them to meet at a bar that was along the route back from the casinos to his hotel. It hopefully wouldn’t look too suspicious for him to stop in for a drink at the end of his night.

After 25 more minutes of painful waiting, including two brush offs of men who tried to buy her a drink, she finally noticed Leo come through the door, two pretty women in tow. They settled in at a booth in the back corner, and Riley waited. Leo was supposed to approach her; that was the plan. But knowing he was right there, just a few feet away, made it hard to stay put. Her instincts told her to jump out of her chair and to get what she needed from him right away so she could get going and get back to her family.

But she resisted the urge. She sat there, waiting, because she needed to do this right. This whole gamble would be for nothing if she messed things up in the final stretch. After what felt like a lifetime, she finally noticed Leo walking over to her table, two drinks in hand.

“Why is a pretty woman like you drinking all by herself?” he asked, sliding a drink over to her.

“I’m picky about who I keep as company. You might be just who I am looking for, though.”

Leo grinned at her response, taking a sip from his glass of scotch. “Loving the hair, by the way.”

Riley glanced around, but no one seemed to be paying attention to them. She leaned in closer and hissed in Leo’s ear, “Careful, you aren’t supposed to know who I am.”

Leo waved his hand through the air. “Relax, it’s too loud and busy in here for anyone to notice. Now, drink up. It looks odd that I keep talking to you when you haven’t touched the drink I bought you.”

She tried to keep a pleasant sort of smile on her face as she leaned back and took a long swig from the glass he’d handed her. She didn’t like how… casual he was about the whole thing, but he was right, this needed to look like some mild flirtation. “I didn’t realize you would be bringing friends along for this,” she said, keeping her tone light as she cocked her head back towards the women still sitting in the booth in the back.

Leo just let out a chuckle. “Yes, there was a little change of plan. They think I’m asking you to join us back in my suite, but I am guessing that’s going to be a no from you?”

“Yes, shockingly I think I’m going to pass on that invite.”

“Well, if you change your mind…” Leo reached into his back pocket and pulled out a hotel key card. “The King George, room 517,” he said as he handed it to her before he leaned over and whispered, “We won’t be back for at least 30 minutes. The two duffel bags in the closet are for you. Good luck.” And with that he leaned back and gave her a little wink, sliding away from her table and heading back to join his companions.

Riley knew it would be suspicious for her to bolt immediately after their conversation, so she took three painful minutes to finish the drink Leo bought her, then got up and left, plugging “King George Hotel” into her phone and briskly walking the few blocks to the ritzy hotel.

She tried to look like she belonged, like she knew exactly where she was going as she got into the elevator and rode it to the fifth floor. Like her heart wasn't practically pounding out of her chest with every step she took. Somehow, she made it to room 517 without attracting too much attention. She slid the key into the door, letting out a sigh of relief when she closed the door behind her, alone in a dark and empty suite.

She knew she didn’t have much time, so started searching, quickly finding two black duffel bags tucked inside one of the closets. She unzipped the first one, and sure enough, there were some of Bridget’s stuffed animals, her leather jacket, and Drake’s winter coat, all visible beneath some bundles of Euros and a file folder that undoubtedly contained their passports and some other personal paperwork.

Time was not on her side, so she zipped the bag back up and grabbed both of them, heading for her door with a smile on her face. She and Drake would have to go through it all together, but for the first time in a long time, she felt like they might have caught a break.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hana shifted on the couch in the palace library, checking the time once again. She was still early; Kiara wasn’t due to meet her here for another eight minutes.

The social season was officially, finally underway. Tonight was the opening ball, and Kiara had texted her to meet here, away from prying eyes and eavesdroppers. It had been hard to resist checking the time repeatedly throughout the night, knowing that Kiara had picked a time late enough that their absence could easily be written off as them heading to bed, but not wanting to miss this meeting that was of vital importance.

But speeches had been given, including a rousing one from Olivia announcing that House Nevrakis would be putting up Liam Rys as a candidate for king during the Conclave, drinks had flowed, and now even the dancing was starting to wind down. It was finally time to hear what information Kiara was willing to provide.

A few minutes later, the door creaked open, Kiara sliding in gracefully when she confirmed that Hana was the only one in the room.

“Sorry, I hope you haven’t been waiting long,” she said as she sat down next to Hana.

Hana shook her head. “Not at all. How do you want to do this?”

Kiara glanced towards the door. “I suppose there is no point beating around the apple tree here. We could be interrupted at any time. Barthelemy approached my father just over a month ago to discuss the no-confidence vote. I wasn’t there for that meeting, but my father filled me in on the basics before that first vote.” She paused for just a moment, taking a deep breath before she continued. “Merde, Hana. Barthelemy concocted this plan with Godfery almost a year ago, and they aren’t working alone. They have the support of Auvernal.”

Permatag: @walkerswhiskeygirl @octobereighth @kimmiedoo5 @mom2000aggie

TRR/TRH: @iaminlovewithtrr @mskaneko @axwalker @jovialyouthmusic @marshmallowsandfire @kingliam2019 @sirbeepsalot @texaskitten30 @princessleac1 @ladyangel70 @debramcg1106 @masterofbluff @sarahx206

Drake/MC: @no-one-u-know @iplaydrake

FoF: @burnsoslow @bobasheebaby

#drake walker #drake x mc #trh au #trr au #trh fanfic #trr fanfic #choices fanfiction

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penguinwithitsarseonfire · 4 years

Text

Gave Me the Blues and then Purple-Pink Skies

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 (welcome!) | Part 4

Pairing: 13th Doctor x Reader

Word Count: 1,959

Warnings: None

Summary: When reaching a dead end in the cave, you and the Doctor have no choice but to go through a tunnel in the wall. You end up in front of her, however, which means you’ve now got to take the risks, which the Doctor isn’t all too happy about.

A/N: I’m so super sorry this is so late! Tumblr ate my original post whilst I was out, so I’ve posted it as soon as I could. Thank you all for all your commetns and support, it’s been really encouraging!!

The plan was easier said than done.

The tunnel had narrowed significantly as you made your way through it, until it stopped abruptly. On the wall that made the dead end was a hole just big enough that you could both easily crawl through it, but was too high for either of you to reach.

You jumped a couple of times, reaching your arms to the hole and falling short by inches, just to prove the point.

“So,” The Doctor said. “We’re trapped.”

“Excellent observation skills,” you said dryly, but the smile you gave The Doctor was nothing but kind.

“It’s just a slight setback, not a big deal,” she wandered up to where you stood by the wall, under the hole, and shot up on the tips of her toes. “If I gave you a boost,” she said, eyeing the hole with a curious gaze. “Do you think you could pull yourself into the hole and help me up?”

You gaped at her. “Give me a boost, Doctor look at me,” you gestured to yourself. “Can you hold me?”

The Doctor gawped. “Can I hold you?” she recovered quickly. “Timelord strength, it’s disproportional to humans, a bit like ants actually, except Timelords are bigger than ants,” she then tapped the crystal wall. “It’ll be easier to get you up first, and then I can follow, because I can use these to support myself too, and I don’t want to risk you lifting me and getting hurt.”

You softened at her concern, then squared yourself against the wall. You pat the pocket of your pants, making sure your phone was secure. You were grateful that it hadn’t been damaged earlier, and you didn’t want to risk it again. “Alright then, boost me up.”

The first step was quite seamless, considering what happened after. The Doctor crouched into what you could only call a ‘sumo’ squat, and held your hands above her as you stepped onto her legs. You winced as your heavy boots dug into her thighs, hoping that you weren’t hurting her.

“Swing your other leg onto my shoulder,” she told you, and you did so, squeezing her hands to balance. She was surprisingly firm, not wavering at all was you fumbled into position.

You moved your other leg onto her shoulder, and The Doctor accommodated you by moving her arm under your leg so it supported you faster.

From above her, you watched in unabashed awe as she stood up, barely taking a breath. “There we go, that was simple. Easy as.”

You nodded dumbly, trying to ignore the fact that you were literally sitting on The Doctors shoulders, and that you could feel the way her muscles flexed under you as she gripped your hands. This was not the time, this was not the place. You were trapped in a cave for crying out loud!

“Yeah,” you said, a little bit breathless. “Easy.”

The pair of you had gained considerable height with you on The Doctor’s shoulders, and you could easily reach the opening in the wall. You hooked your arms into it, finding some grooves in the bottom of the hole to grip to, and pulled yourself up.

The Doctor knocked your foot with her free hand. “Here,” she said. “If you crouch on my shoulders it should be easier.”

“Right,” you grunted slightly, the exertion hitting you like a brick. With a burn in your arms, you let yourself hang so you could awkwardly coordinate yourself so you were crouching on The Doctor’s shoulders, and she used her hands as a base for your feet as you did so.

With a final pull, you dragged yourself into the opening in the wall. You lay yourself flat on the floor, huffing out a heaving breath as the muscles in your arms and legs burned, just giving yourself a moment where you could temporarily die.

Not that you’d ever voice that particular thought out loud, The Doctor would have a fit.

Below you The Doctor called out your name. “Whenever you’re ready, I could use a hand.”

“Yeah, just a minute,” you replied, and frowned as you pushed yourself back up.

The tunnel was thin, and you had to roll so you could face the other way. You wiggled your way through, until you were facing the entrance, and paused for a moment. The crystals really were quite bright, especially from this angle.

You poked your head out, your eyes locking on onto The Doctor’s. “Hi there,” you grinned.

“Hello,” The Doctor said, and jumped up. You clasped your hands around hers, and were surprised by how light she was.

After a bit of scuffling that involved her using the force of the crystals to get herself up further, and you pulling her into the tunnel, you both managed to tumble inside.

You huffed, letting out a heavy, winded breath. “Well, that was something.”

“Yeah,” The Doctor said next to you, plastered on the floor. “Worked though.”

You snorted. “I might put this on my resumé and become a full time cheerleader.”

“It’d be something,” she said, sitting up as best as she could inside the small tunnel. “Throwing yourself into a vent for your audition,” she paused, staring past you with a frown. “Ah, right. Didn’t think this through.”

You turned to look behind you, seeing nothing but the tunnel, and turned back to face her. “What do you mean?”

“You’re in front of me,” The Doctor gestured to you and the tunnel behind you. “And there’s not enough space for me to move in front of you.”

“Why is that an issue?” Because, really, you didn’t understand. “Is it bad that I’m in front, will that be problematic or something later?”

“Um, it’s not, or – well,” The Doctor groaned. “Okay,” she said, her voice dropping down to the level she used when she was about to say something very serious. “Just, be very careful, crawl slowly, and I’ll be right behind you.”

“Alright,” you said drawing out the word. You wondered briefly if The Doctor could sense something you couldn’t, which, perhaps she could, she was apparently telepathic and all that. “Is something wrong?”

“Ah no, no,” she didn’t sound convincing at all. “Nothing’s the matter.”

“Doctor…”

“I-” she groaned again. “I just can’t protect you as well, if I’m behind you, and I should have thought about that earlier and I didn’t. I’m sorry.”

Oh.

Your heart fluttered a little and you forced yourself not to pay attention. She was The Doctor, of course she wanted you to be safe, she wanted everyone she ever met to be safe.

But still though.

It was nice that she was worried about you.

Not that it was nice that The Doctor was worried, not at all. It was just that it was nice that The Doctor cared enough about you to be worried.

You shut off that particular thought tangent in your mind, it was been a bit of a mess.

“I get where you’re coming from,” you said, because you didn’t want to undermine any of her feeling. Especially because she shared them, and you knew The Doctor found it particularly difficult sometimes to share anything personal. “I am capable though, and it’s like you said, you’re right behind me.”

The Doctor nodded. “Yeah, yep,” and it was almost like she was trying to reassure herself. “Of course.”

You squeezed her forearm lightly to reassure her. “Right, let’s make like a baby and crawl.”

The Doctor snorted, and it brought a lightness to your chest. “Yeah, let’s.”

Small crystals lined the tunnels floor, and it dug into your hand and knees. It hurt, it felt like they were trying to pierce your skin but didn’t actually have the courage to go through with it, and before long your arms and legs were numb.

Your elbows wobbled as you crawled, and most of your energy was focused on just trying to remain level. The Doctor was right behind you, her soft breaths and the way her coat dragged against the crystals the only thing from her that you could hear.

You focused on the music, calling you and drawing you forward. You hoped it wasn’t something nefarious or evil on the other end, like a man eating siren or something (which would be a bummer), because the music just felt so innately part of you, like it clung to your bones and was replicating your soul.

Then the crystals gave way underneath you. With a yelp you tumbled forward, your numb hands flying forward to catch yourself on a crystal that was jutting out in front of where the rest of the floor had collapsed.

The Doctor called out your name, and clamped her hand around your calf.

You huffed out a heavy breath, blowing away some of the dust that the debris had created away from your eyes. “I’m fine,” you reassured her, peering into the cavern below.

“Alright,” The Doctor said, her voice level and serious. “Give me a moment, I’ll think of a way to get you out safely.”

The music played around you, and you cocked your head to the side, considering the cavern below. If you curled up, you could probably roll down safely.

The crystals that had been part of the dirt had fallen away, leaving a smooth, red surface. It’d be like rolling down a grassy hill – almost. But it could work. “It’s alright, I think we’re supposed to go down.”

“No, I can’t let you do that,” The Doctor said, the she groaned. “You shouldn’t have even been the one in front in the first place,” you heard a rustling, like she was shaking herself out of whatever self-admonishment spiral she’d fallen into. “We’ll get you out of this.”

“No wait,” below you, something began to sparkle, a soft, warm, yellow that reminded you of shining a torch through yellow cellophane. It reflected on some of the few blue crystals you could see, making them appear to glow green. “Doctor there’s a light,” you said. “I can see a light.”

The Doctor gripped you tighter and spoke fiercely. “Don’t go towards the light.”

It took you an embarrassing moment to realise that The Doctor thought you meant a different sort of light. You rolled your eyes. “It’s not that sort of light.”

“I don’t want you going towards any sort of light,” she said, matter-of-factly.

The music danced around you and you sighed. “Doc, please. I need you to trust me on this.”

You heard her shuffle behind you, and her grip on your calf tightened ever so slightly. “Of course I trust you – I just really don’t like this plan.”

You couldn’t help it, you snorted. “When have we ever had a plan that was good?”

The Doctor squawked. “Oi, I’ve had loads of good plans, good plans are practically my middle name, my M.O, my defining character trait – well, that and my lego architecture skills, which no one ever seems to talk about. I don’t have a clue what you’re going on about.”

You tried not to grin at her little outburst. “Bucharest, Doc.”

The Doctor huffed. “I’ve apologised about the carnivorous butterflies. Loads of times.”

“Yeah,” you drew out the word. “It proves my point though.”

“I’m sure if we crawl backwards, we can find-“

“Doc,” you interrupted. “The path caved in and there’s no other path for us to use. There’s no other way.”

You could feel the disappointed energy radiating from The Doctor. “Well there’s no need to bring the vibe down like that.”

“Doctor.”

The Doctor let out a long groan, and gently took her hand off your calf. “Alright, fine. But be very careful, and I’ll be right behind you.”

#the doctor x reader #thirteenth doctor imagine #13th doctor x reader #thirteenth doctor x reader #13th doctor #Doctor Who #DW

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imaginationintowords · 4 years

Text

Folklore [song series]

august

Modern Day AU! Bucky Barnes x OC!Reader; Bucky Barnes x Natasha Romanoff

Plot: Inspired by Taylor Swift’s new album Folklore. The story follows the timeline of Bucky and Elizabeth’s relationship throughout the years.

Word count: 2960

Warnings: cheating, swearing, mentions of sex, & angst.

Previous part

Series Masterlist

Age: 17

Year: 2011

Location: Brooklyn, New York

Natasha Romanoff.

She was the school's top cheerleader. Every girl wanted to be her. Every guy wanted her.

Well almost every guy.

Natasha has had a crush on Bucky since she moved to Brooklyn in the third grade. She and her dad had to downsize after her mother's death.

Unfortunately, Bucky was never more than a friend to her.

As kids he was always with Steve and Elizabeth.

She envied Elizabeth.

She was cute. Smart. Had both of her parents. She was way too bubbly for Natasha's liking, even at the age of 8 years-old.

She knew that the only reason she was envious of Elizabeth was because she was close to Bucky.

She thought that maybe if Elizabeth wasn't so close to Bucky, both girls could've been friends.

Maybe.

Natasha never understood how one person could be so happy. Realizing that Elizabeth has never had to deal with the pain and hardships life has to offer.

When Elizabeth and Bucky started dating, Natasha's hatred for her grew.

How could he like someone like her? Not when Natasha had been so obvious in her flirtatious ways. That whole summer leading up to high school, she made sure to be very obvious. But Bucky was too clueless to see.

When word got out that Bucky and Elizabeth were dating, she only saw red.

She decided to forget about Bucky and jump into relationships with any guy that would fawn over her.

Her dad was never home, always away on business trips, so the house was always free for overnight guests. But none of them ever made her fell anything for more than a night.

She knew she was developing a not so good reputation at school, but she didn't care. And maybe that's why no one truly cared.

Yeah she was Inez's number one subject when it came to school gossip, but no one ever treated Natasha differently.

Must've been the way she held herself. She walked with such power, that all eyes couldn't help but fall onto her. Her presence simply demanded the room's attention.

But one person's eyes never wavered.

So when she noticed Elizabeth dancing with the school's top douche at the dance, and Bucky was nowhere in sight, she knew that was her chance.

She had been silently praying for Elizabeth to walk out and find Natasha on her knees with her boyfriend's dick in her mouth.

After that, Bucky had completely avoided Natasha. But she knew Elizabeth and Steve were leaving for the summer, so she just had to play the waiting game.

She won during the hottest day of the year.

Hook, line, and sinker.

After Bucky had gotten in Natasha's car, she could tell he was avoiding eye contact with her.

"You know if you want, you could pretend I'm her," She spoke out breaking the silence in the car.

"What?" Bucky asked, taken back by what she had said.

"I said," she pulls the car over, parks it, and shuts off the ignition.

She looks over at him, and places her hand on his upper left thigh, "If you want, you can pretend I'm her."

Bucky gulps loudly, looking down at Natasha's hand.

"Nat-"

"Shh," she leans closer, over the middle console, "Call me Betty."

Bucky turns his head away from her, noticing that they were in front of Natasha's house.

"We can't," he hesitated, still looking out the window.

"Oh, but we can, no one's home," she sultry whispers in his ear.

"But Elizabeth," he nervously says.

"Oh, but I am Elizabeth," she softens her voice, trying to sound like his girlfriend, "Your sweet, sweet Elizabeth."

Bucky finally turned his head towards Natasha. Her face was so close to him, he could practically taste the cinnamon gum she had chewed earlier.

He glances around seeing someone exit their house. He lightly pushes Natasha away.

"Not in here," he says.

Natasha led Bucky quietly into her house. Once the front door was closed behind them, she grabbed his hand.

"Oh James, I've missed you so much," she continued to say in her Elizabeth tone as she led him up the stairs to her room, "I can't wait to show you how much I have."

Natasha knew that what she had asked of him wasn't right. Pretending to be his girlfriend, wasn't right. She knew that.

For the first two weeks, he would gasp out Elizabeth's name instead of her's. Deep down it hurt Natasha's feelings, but she pushed it away if it meant she could have Bucky in her bed. She would take him any way she could get him.

But as the weeks progressed, he stopped calling her Elizabeth and started to moan out her name.

They were laying in bed post orgasm.

"You said my name," Natasha breathed out, staring at the ceiling.

"Huh?" Bucky looked over at her confused.

"You called me by my name," she repeated, with a small smile on her face.

"Oh," he breathlessly said. He hadn't noticed that he had, "I guess I did."

He looked back up at the ceiling, feeling conflicted with himself. He knew what he was doing was all kinds of wrong. Not only the cheating on his girlfriend, but also calling the person he was sleeping with his girlfriend's name.

He has never felt more like an asshole in that moment. Natasha didn't deserve that.

Over the course of the last two weeks, he had gotten to know her little by little. He started staying over more. Her father was never home, and he didn't feel right leaving her all alone in an empty house.

"Sorry," he apologized, turning on his side to look at her.

"For?" she looked at him.

"For being a dick."

"You're not a dick, Bucky," she shook her head confused why he was saying that.

"Yes, yes I am. I've been treating you like shit," he says, softly brushing away a strand of hair off her face.

"No you haven't," she defends, "If this is about you pretending that I'm Elizabeth, Buck, I told you to do that. I'm okay with that, if it means I get to be with you."

"You deserve better," he caresses her cheek.

"All I want is you," she vulnerably says.

"I-"

"Shh. It's okay, I'll take you however way I can," she says, brushing his now long hair away from his face, "I'll take us in however way."

After that night things between her and Bucky started to change. Their hook ups became more personal. Some nights they wouldn't even have sex, they would just stay up playing video games, or watching movies, or just talking.

He no longer pretended she was Elizabeth. All he saw was Natasha. The real Natasha.

And she saw him. The real him. The vulnerable, dark side. The goofy, lovable side. She saw him in a way Elizabeth never did.

That summer Bucky emotionally grew up. He started to become more vulnerable. Opening up to Natasha about his dad, in a way he never could with Elizabeth or Steve, their optimistic side always showing hope for the better. Natasha would just listen, let him vent and rant about his father. Always validating his feelings, because she knew how he felt.

Bucky's feelings for Natasha started to grow. And that scared him. Because it was always supposed to be Elizabeth, he has never been with anyone other than her, well until recently. He never knew a relationship could feel that way.

He would shake those feelings away, and tell himself that this was only til the end of August, then he would be reunited with Elizabeth. After that he would end things with Natasha, she had to know that the summer was all they had.

Natasha knew that.

Natasha knew she probably should've ended it once her feelings started to get stronger. That August she never felt more alive. More free.

And it was all thanks to him. The boy that would never be her's.

She would cherish that summer for what it was.

Things between her and Bucky started to get more serious. As serious as it can possibly get:

It had been a few days since Bucky apologized to Nat about how he's been treating her. They hadn't seen each other since then because of work and family obligations .

Natasha was getting ready for work, when her phone started to ring. She looked down and saw Bucky's name on the screen.

"Hey Bucky," she answered.

"Hey! What are you up to?" he asked her.

"Getting ready for work. Why?"

"Call in sick," he tells her, "I want to take you somewhere."

"Wait what?"

"Call in sick. I want to take you somewhere for the weekend."

"Okay," she quickly agreed, a giant smile spreading across her face, "Do I get to know where we are going?"

"Nope, just pack a swimsuit. I'll be there to pick you up in an hour," he tells her before hanging up.

Natasha had never felt so giddy in her life. She tried her best to cover her happy emotions as she called in sick for work, letting them know she wouldn't be able to make it this weekend. She knew that wasn't the most responsible thing to do, but Bucky was taking her away for the weekend and she wasn't going to say no. She would cancel anything just to be with him.

Just like he said, an hour later Bucky pulled up to Natasha's house, running up the porch to knock on her door. Before he could knock on it, the door swung open.

"I saw you pull up from the living room," she smiled, grabbing her weekender duffel bag.

"Here, I'll take that," he smiled, grabbing her bag for her, as she closed and locked up her house.

"So Mr. Barnes, where are you taking me?" she playfully interrogated, to her surprise he grabbed her hand and they walked hand-in-hand together to his awaiting car.

She briefly looked at their hands, and couldn't help the blush creep on her cheeks. She knew it was a risky thing for him to do out in the open, but the world didn't exist when she was with him.

"It's a surprise," he winked.

When they got to his car, he dropped her hand and held the passenger door open for her. He's never done that before, in all the times they would meet up, he would always quickly jump in her car or vice versa.

She could tell Bucky was very sorry for how he's been treating her the past couple of weeks, by all the little gestures he was showing her.

On the car ride he held her hand the entire time. From time to time he would place little kisses on her knuckles.

Her mind would get the better of her and question if he was picturing Elizabeth when he did those sweet things. But then he would take a glance over at her, with that big ole smile of his, and those thoughts would wash away.

He was there with her.

An hour later and they pulled up to a beach house.

"Who's is this?" she asked, as they unbuckled themselves.

"It's my grandparents'. I asked them if I could use it for the weekend," he smiled at her, opening his door to get out, she went to go reach for her handle, "Wait, let me get it."

He quickly jogged over to her side and opened the door. Natasha didn't even care if he saw the blush on her cheeks.

"It's pretty," she stared up, amazed at the two story beach house.

"Here, why don't you go open the door while I get our bags, alarm code is 0310," he tells her handing her the keys.

"Your birthday?"

"Yeah, my grandparents bought this place when I was born, they wanted a beach house for their grandkids," he tells her.

That weekend was the best weekend of Natasha's life. August was the best time of her life.

It was just her and Bucky. Free.

They were able to walk around holding hands because no one there knew who they were. She was allowed to relish in her daydreams of what it would be like to actually be the girlfriend of Bucky Barnes.

Each morning she would wake up and see him sleeping soundly, the sun shining through the windows, creeping through the curtains. Casting a pretty glow on Bucky's back.

That was the moment she knew. She was in love with Bucky Barnes, and she didn't know how she was going to get out of all of this alive.

She knew she couldn't tell him. It would ruin everything.

She knew that once August was over, he would no longer be her's.

And she knew she didn't have the right to get sad or heartbroken over it, because this was her decision.

She was the one that pursued him, knowing he had a girlfriend.

This was all her doing, and she would have to live with the thought that Bucky Barnes was never her's.

All those days and nights of them wrapped up in each other. The late night talks. The video game sessions. The movie nights. The sneaking around during their breaks at the mall. The nights where they spilled their secrets to each other. The nightmares they would help each other through. The laughter they had, the inside jokes.

All of it.

They were all just memories she would have to keep alive in her mind.

She knew once she received that message from Inez, that it was all over with.

The whole school would know soon enough.

Elizabeth would know soon enough.

Natasha's phone started to blow up from classmates. She turned it off.

She deleted her social media accounts, once she saw what classmates were writing about her.

"Homewrecker" "Slut" "Whore" "Nasty"

But the one that hurt the most,

"Did she really think Bucky would leave Elizabeth for her? He loves Elizabeth. No man would ever love a woman like Natasha."

All those memories, that she held onto, started to crumble.

The feeling she had with him. The emotion he would show her.

Yes, Bucky loved Elizabeth. But she knew deep down that Bucky loved her too.

He had too. That weekend away at the beach house was proof:

Natasha was awoken by the sun creeping through the curtains and shining right on her face. She opened her eyes to be greeted with a sleeping Bucky next to her on his stomach, with one arm around her waist.

She began to quietly get up, but the arm around her waist tighten.

"Where are you going?" his groggy voice asked, his eyes still closed.

"To close the curtains some more, the suns shining through," she tells him.

"No, not yet, please," he says scooting closer into her, rubbing his face into her neck causing her to giggle.

"Bucky."

"He's sleeping," he says against her neck.

She adjusted her right arm over him, causing him to cuddle into her more. She softly played with his hair.

She felt herself falling back asleep, but right before she slipped away she heard one last thing,

"I love you Natasha."

She never brought that up to him, because she had just thought it was a dream. But the way it felt so real, she was sure it had actually happened.

The first week back to school wasn't so good. The whispers and looks on the halls made Natasha shiver down her spine. She hadn't talked to Bucky since word got around, but according to Inez, Elizabeth had found out as soon as she got back home and broke up with Bucky. She figured it wasn't best to call him.

Then she heard about what happened at Elizabeth's house the night Bucky showed up to her student counsel meeting. She couldn't believe the way Elizabeth had treated Bucky. Kicking him down when he was already down.

She gets the fact that Bucky screwed up, but that's no way to talk to someone. She never knew Elizabeth could be so mean.

She knew it wasn't her place to go see Bucky, but she had to. The best time she thought was when the world was sleeping, she knew he would still be awake. Another thing they shared was their insomnia.

She pulled up in front of his house, and texted him she was here and if she could come up. While waiting for a response she heard a knock on her window. She turned to see Elizabeth standing outside of it, wearing a coat over her pajamas.

Natasha rolled down her window.

"Hi Elizabeth," she quietly said.

"What you couldn't get enough? Now that I'm back you're going to do it right in front of my face?" She harshly asked Natasha, her voice trembling a little.

"Elizabeth, that's not why I came here. I just wanted to check up on Bucky, make sure he's okay," Natasha truthfully says, trying to be delicate with her words seeing how broken Elizabeth looked up close.

"So what, you two are now dating? You were just waiting for me to get out of the picture and you leaped in when you saw the opportunity," she says, "You know I never really believed what everyone would say about you. Because even though we weren't close, you never seemed like that girl. I guess I was wrong. You are exactly what they say you are."

"That's not fair," Natasha says, her lip quivering from the effects Elizabeth's words had on her, "You don't know me."

"Yeah, and he does," Elizabeth scoffs.

"He does," Natasha defends, "and I know him."

"Please, all he ever wanted from you was sex," Elizabeth pauses and actually looks into Natasha's eyes, a realization hitting her, "You love him?"

Natasha was taken back by that. She had never spoken those words out loud, and she was most definitely not going to say them out loud to the ex of the man.

"Here's a little newsflash for you" Elizabeth spoke quietly, leaning her head closer to Natasha's, "He will never love you. He was never even your's to begin with."

Natasha sat there in complete silence as Elizabeth walked away back into her house. The tears began to stream down her face.

She did the only thing she could think of to do. She rolled up her window, put her car back in drive, and drove back home.

The only thought running through her head"

He was never her's.

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halothenthehorns · 3 years

Text

TLTNL- PROFESSOR UMBRIDGE

Harry knew he was supposed to be reading next, but he was reluctant to take the book from Sirius. He could already feel the bad beginning to the start of his latest school year, and it wasn't comforting he couldn't find much in him promising it would get better before it got worse. Still, with nothing else he could think to do, that yearning still present within him to learn all of his memories and be whole prevailed more than any 'feeling' as he cracked open his start.

Seamus dressed and was storming out the door the next morning before Harry had even found his glasses. He snarked as the hem of his robes vanished that Seamus must fear being around Harry too much will cause him to be a nutter.

"Is this something we should be worried about!" Sirius yelped, already trying to scramble madly away from Harry. "A little warning sooner next time!"

"Too late, everyone in here's already round the bend," Remus snorted.

"I resemble that," James snickered, while Lily wanted to protest but still had yet to deny any claims she hadn't begun dating James with all her sanity intact either so didn't press.

Harry rolled his eyes affectionately at the lot of them, he never grew tired of watching them poke fun at these things.

Dean tried to say he was just, but he trailed off without coming up with anything and so left after his best friend.

"I could never live with such a thing," Sirius gasped.

"Only because you always have to have the last word," Remus rolled his eyes.

"My point exactly," Sirius proved Moony's own point.

Neville and Ron gave Harry, 'it's their own problem,' kind of looks, but Harry wasn't exactly consoled. How much more of this would he have to take?

Lily fidgeted with unease that none of them had an actual answer for him. What she wouldn't give just to know this all had to have a happy ending. What exactly had Harry left in his own time after all? Who's to say this didn't drag on for years to come, he had after all arrived clearly in the heat of some battle...and she both wished and was grateful she couldn't dwell on this more.

Hermione began to ask him what was wrong the moment she saw him, saying he looked- but cutting herself off by saying for heaven's sake!

"What exactly does that look like?" James asked as he eyed Harry.

"Sounded like exasperated, which he probably was already with Seamus' attitude," Lily sighed.

She was staring at the sign the twins had put up last night, only just now reading it and finding it a want add for test subjects to a virtually painless job for a little monetary compensation. Below this was a warning that all applicants undertook this at their own risk.

"Just what are they getting up to?" James demanded at once with an eager grin.

"Sounds to me like they're trying to find further test subjects than themselves," Lily arched a brow with trepidation. Testing it on themselves was one thing, but other people? She did suppose she could see the pro's of it, at least while doing this at school they could rely on Madam Pomfrey to fix any screw ups and it was smart to see if anyone other than themselves would have side effects before mass selling their things like they so intended doing...but still, this just felt wrong no matter the good spin she tried putting on it. Then again, she'd never looked into how most normal magical objects were tested and distributed, that was in fact a section she'd be coming to very soon in her work, so this could be interesting at least.

"I like that they put the warning directly below 'virtually painless," Remus snickered.

"Open honesty at least," Sirius said with absolute chipper.

She stormed over at once to take the sign down,

"Hey!" James yelped in protest at once. "Merlin she's as bad as their mother! Who's she to be doing that."

"A prefect," Remus reminded him like his friend had gone temporarily daft. "That really was stupid of them to just post in the common room like that, I am positive that is somehow against school rules."

Sirius kept going as if Remus hadn't even spoken, "I know, leave them to their own devices, it's not affecting her."

Lily really wondered why Remus bothered at some point, and by the look on his face, so did he.

snapping that they'd have to talk to them about this.

"Who's this they?" Remus did agree with his friends scandalized looks about that. "The sign was stupid on their part, but Hermione really needs to get a grip trying to drag Ron into her problem with the twins."

"I love that Moony always agrees with us," James smirked, while Remus rolled his eyes, and Lily just rubbed her forehead at her idiots.

Ron looked positively alarmed.

"I would to," Harry winced, "I've never even had older brothers, but the idea of telling one off sounds ludicrous. Let alone those particular two."

He demanded why at once, and she snapped they were prefects! It was their duty to stop this kind of thing!

"No," Sirius snorted, "your job is to pretend in front of the teachers to act like you're looking after the first years, and then go about your life like everyone else."

"I think Hermione needs to reread her instruction manual," James agreed.

"They didn't get an instruction manual," Harry frowned in confusion.

"Exactly," Sirius concluded.

Ron said nothing, but Harry could tell he would not be cheering Hermione on when this came up again. They were starting their way down to breakfast now as Hermione turned her attention back to Harry, asking why he'd looked so angry?

Ron explained for him Seamus had called Harry out about You-Know-Who.

"Why didn't you answer?" James said in surprise.

"I was trying to think of how to say everything on my mind, Ron just cut right to the chase," Harry said.

"Sometimes you think too much," Sirius rolled his eyes, he'd never had a problem telling his mates whatever was on his mind.

Hermione, who Harry had expected to react angrily on his behalf, sighed while telling them Lavender had said much the same thing.

"Really?" Lily's tone held full disgust. "One of Trelawney's little pets, who believes every ridiculous thing that comes out of that woman's mouth, has the gall to claim you a liar?"

"Of all the unbelievers in this, you'd think those of Trelawney's type would enjoy the prospect of more death and mayhem to come," James sniffed angrily.

"Think she'll change her tune the second Trelawney says something about it in class?" Remus grumbled.

"That, or she'll start disbelieving the woman," Sirius shrugged, now looking almost curious to see how this could play out.

Harry snapped at her if the two had a nice long chat about him then?

"Oh yes, I'm so sure you come up in between the pillow fights and manicures," Lily frowned at him. "Hermione's never shown to be on good terms with them, cut her some slack."

Harry did look properly chagrined for that, he had felt instantly bad for lashing out at Hermione.

Hermione returned calmly she'd in fact told her dorm mate to shut her mouth, and she'd appreciate it if Harry would quit jumping down her throat before hearing otherwise. Ron and her were on his side.

Harry looked even more glum now that he couldn't properly apologize to his friends like they deserved. He had indeed been taking every moment to rag on them and could properly realize away from the moments they hadn't deserved much of any of it. He owed his friends a lot, and not just for being there while he vented, very vocally.

Harry felt the awkward pause before he apologized.

Lily at least looked happy for the apology, but Harry didn't look any better, still feeling that growing ache more every day to see his friends again, to know that they were okay.

Hermione brushed on after the acknowledgement and instead brought up what Dumbledore had said last year.

Harry and Ron gave her a blank look for trying to remember such a thing while Hermione sighed.

"I feel like that's a very common occurrence we don't get to hear enough of," Sirius snipped to lighten the mood back up, and it worked as Harry rolled his eyes at him again.

Hermione launched into a replication of Dumbledore's words about trust and friendship making them all stronger when they stood together. Ron looked on in admiration how she remembered things like that.

"How does she remember stuff like that verbatim!" Remus went wide eyed in surprise.

"Hermione really is a gem," Lily could only think to answer with pure indulgence.

Hermione's response was just to say she listened, but Ron replied so did he and he couldn't recall word perfect speeches!

Hermione went on loudly over him,

"I really am surprised she didn't take the moment to rub it in," James rolled his eyes.

Harry frowned right back and said, "she doesn't really that much, considering how much smarter than us she is. She was trying to make a point, not let Ron distract her with an argument."

that You-Know-Who had only been back two months and was already causing strife in between their own houses-

Ron cut in to say Harry had said it best last night, no one was going to be getting chummy with Slytherins any time soon.

"We're not talking about Slytherins though, we're talking about people from our own house. Good place to start before moving on," Sirius sighed with some sympathy for what Hermione was saying.

Harry frowned at him in surprise, but then he reflected none of the Marauders had really made it a point to be Slytherin haters other than just the one outstanding student. If Sirius, who'd even had family in the house he was defending, could say such a thing, Harry wished he really had taken some more time at some point to look beyond Malfoy.

Hermione snapped she still thought they should try for some school unity.

Sirius made a face he'd said the exact same thing as Hermione, while James made the exact same face at him for it as well.

They reached the Great Hall, where a group of fourth-year Ravenclaws spotted Harry and huddled closer together while eyeing him, as if fearing he'd attack those on the fringes.

"You mean you don't!" James demanded. "Harry, what on earth do you do with all your free time then?"

Harry couldn't help laughing at their antics again, he couldn't seem to grow tired of watching them make light of this.

Harry sarcastically pointed out he would really be going out of his way to make friends with people like that.

"He's got them both there," Remus murmured in agreement.

They went into the Great Hall themselves, and still the first thing they noticed was Hagrid's absence.

Hermione quietly tried to offer that perhaps Dumbledore hadn't said anything about it was because he was trying not to draw attention to Hagrid being gone.

"That is actually impossible to anyone second year and older," James sighed. None of them had been on more than passing hello's to Hagrid themselves and they would have noticed a thing like this.

The boys didn't get a chance to respond as Angelina made her approach to Harry, asking if he had a good summer, then immediately rushing on before he answered,

Lily was already frowning at this act, it was like Oliver was back again already.

declaring she'd been made Gryffindor Quidditch Captain.

James's face puckered with disappointment again. It had obviously not been Harry, nor the twins or he was sure that would have been mentioned, who'd gotten the badge so that had left one of those three girls. Still, he hoped Angelina at least made Harry co-captain or something, he was really hoping his son would get this treat before he left school.

Harry congratulated her at once, thinking to himself at least her pep talks would be more stimulating than Wood's ever had.

Sirius nodded enthusiastically even as he bounced in place for excitement upon hearing of Quidditch again, it had been gone far too long!

Angelina thanked him before moving on to say they needed a new Keeper for the team of course, and practices were at five on Friday. She wanted to be sure the whole team could attend, to see how the new person would mesh.

"That's standard those, isn't it? I don't see why she-"

"Shhh!" James hushed his wife as Harry kept going with definite fondness, that was only a mask, as his hand absently began fidgeting again that still no one noticed as he was holding a lofty book.

Harry agreed at once, causing Angelina to smile at him before she departed. Ron at once said how good it could be to have some new blood on the team.

"You think Ron'll try out!" Sirius yelped with joy.

"He did get a new broom," Remus agreed.

"It's always a thrill to be playing with your friends," James smiled at the thought.

Harry felt the now familiar pain of a memory trying to tell him something for these comments, but he wasn't entirely sure as they seemed very mixed, so he had not a clue if Ron did or not.

Breakfast was in full swing by the time owls arrived, but Harry didn't bother looking for anything, no news could have happened that Sirius would send along in just twenty-four hours.

Sirius still frowned sadly while Harry couldn't see. He wished he was sending his godson daily owls considering the years he'd gone without regular correspondence, if only as a reminder to his pup there was someone out there for him, it didn't always have to be 'new'. It's not like he was doing anything in that old place anyways but moping about, why couldn't he be sending a veritable books worth of letters to Harry full of anything and everythings? 'Probably because it wasn't safe,' a Dumbledore like voice in his head pointed out, and Sirius was quick to stop thinking about that.

Hermione did get her copy of the Daily Prophet, much to Harry's disgust as he asked her about it while she paid her Knut.

James shook his head fondly as he still remembered Harry's first interaction with this and asking what a Knut was. His son had come a long ways.

Harry had unsubscribed his.

Hermione said darkly it was still worthwhile to know what the enemy was saying.

"That's smart, I'll give her," Remus said grudgingly with still plenty of despair.

She continued reading it all through breakfast until McGonagall came around with their class schedules, and Ron at once protested of their Monday! History of Magic, double Potions, Divination, and then double Defence Against the Dark Arts!

"I think I just died a little inside!" James yelped in disgust.

The only tiny speck of good Lily could find in that was, "well, least the worst of them should all be gotten out of the way early." When that did nothing to erase anyones disgust, even her own, she also tried, "and we won't have long to wait to hear more about that Umbridge. I'm still confounded of why she's there."

"I'd still be happier pretending none of them exist," Sirius groaned, he didn't need to sit in on that woman's class to even guess she could be any better than that other lot.

All of their worst teachers back to back! The twins had better hurry up with those Skiving Snackboxes, because Ron wanted a years supply.

Said brothers arrived in that moment, gaping in shock at hearing a Hogwarts prefect wanted any such thing as skipping lessons.

"Those ones they do," Remus crinkled his nose in disgust.

"Does anyone else smell a regular three day weekend becoming a habit?" Sirius agreed conversationally.

Ron showed off his schedule, and George instantly agreed that was worth something, then offered him some Nosebleed Nougat cheap.

"Why's it cheap?" Harry heard all four of them mutter suspiciously at once.

Ron at once asked why it was cheap with suspicion.

Harry didn't bother to hide his snicker as he continued.

Fred happily explained that was because you'd keep bleeding until you ran out, they hadn't found an antidote for that one yet.

"So how are they still alive?" Lily asked in genuine concern.

"Just what do they test them on before themselves to know this?" Remus agreed uneasily, as he didn't see the twins being so cruel as to go capturing animals to do this to, so what then?**

Ron had to deliberate for a moment before deciding he'd take the lessons.

"I'm not sure I'd come to the same conclusion," Remus muttered.

Now Hermione turned sharp eyes on them at the mention of those Snackboxes,

"Damn, it's extra worse cause they brought this up themselves," Sirius groaned.

and at once snapped at them they couldn't be finding testers from the Gryffindor noticeboard.

George asked says who, and Hermione said her, and Ron!

Ron at once snapped to leave him out of this.

"She really should have though," James agreed.

"Is it so terrible to ask for backup from him?" Lily asked honestly. She didn't think Hermione should be dragging Ron in either, but now she had, so Ron could at least nod along or something.

"It is if Ron doesn't agree," Remus frowned, "and he's never said anything for or against the twins and how they act, so Hermione shouldn't have been saying anything for Ron."

Fred paid her no mind as he began eating some of his breakfast, saying she'd be begging them for her own soon.

Hermione asked what possible reason she could have for that?

"She should know that answer better than anyone," James groaned in disgust.

"OWL's, and not the friendly bird kind," Sirius huffed.

George stated OWL year of course, they had their examinations at the end of this year. Their nose would be pressed to so many books, they'd be rubbed raw.

"Oh how I wish they were still joking," Remus sighed as he rubbed his nose.

Fred agreed many in their year had breakdowns because of the stress, Patricia Stimpson kept fainting.

"I knew a Patricia Bishop who had the habit of studying under the chairs," Sirius chimed in. "I don't understand how that helped her study, but she was never without her favorite study spot."

George agreed Kenneth Towler had come over with boils,

"Gavin Crowley actually pissed himself right before our Transfiguration one," James snickered in remembrance.

"I thought that was because he'd come running up because he'd thought it was Herbology that hour instead," Remus reminded.

Sirius whistled innocently, no one had ever been sure why the boy could get something so confused, and they never had.

before Fred corrected that was their doing with some Bulbadox powder.

All four boys snorted with mirth while Lily shook her head in exasperation at the lot of them.

George nodded in remembrance now, saying it was hard to keep track sometimes.

Remus opened his mouth, winced and shut it, but then realized Harry had seen anyways so managed to say, "our list was made once, extensively, as an end of year project for us. I hope the twins get to reminisce as well one last time." He finished by stammering just a bit, and Harry kept going a bit more loudly to try and erase the awkward moment for them even if he did truly appreciate how much they continued trying to tell him things about their past even when they involved that person.

Then George got back on track saying how much of a nightmare fifth year was.

"Seventh's still worse," Sirius forced out in an attempt to change the subject as well.

"My favorite year though," James stated with a dreamy look at his wife, at least momentarily erasing his own dark thoughts with her flaming red hair. Lily simply gave him an affectionate smile back.

At least, if you cared about results.

Ron recalled they hadn't, having only gotten three OWLs each.

Neither was concerned, saying their future lay outside academic achievements.

"Well they don't really need them, running their own store," James chuckled.

"I don't understand why," Lily was frowning at the number. "They're clearly smart, why so few."

"Clearly it was because they only looked for what they needed, and didn't try to learn every stupid trivial thing we were supposed to be learning," Sirius rolled his eyes.

"I envy them," Remus agreed.

They had seriously debated even coming back for their last year,

"How would they know what I was thinking?" Sirius asked innocently, while Remus snorted and muttered, "doesn't take a genius to know something you were saying since your first year."

since they now had- but George stopped talking abruptly at a warning look from Harry. George had been fixing to mention the Triwizard winnings Harry had given them.

"They're not that stupid," James rolled his eyes, "they'd know better than to be saying that in front of Ron and Hermione."

"Who knows, maybe they thought Harry had told them," Sirius shrugged.

So George hastily finished now that they had their OWL results.

"That was true of their sixth year though," Remus sighed in disappointment. "I really would have hoped they were better on the spot liars."

"Yes, but even running their own business, it would still give them just a little bit better of an edge to have completed school," Lily reasoned what she was sure the twins were doing.

Harry gave a laugh, and honestly had no clue why.

Fred agreed they had no need for their NEWTs, but they didn't think their Mum could stand them leaving school after what Percy had done.

"A travesty that still no one saw coming," Sirius said in disgust.

So they were going to spend this year doing marketing research.

"That's brilliant," James chuckled.

"Though they seem to have found already that simply making your own needs supplies their demand for others," Sirius snickered.

Hermione asked where they even planned on getting the gold for their ideas.

"Uhoh," all four of them muttered while Harry started flushing in embarrassment.

Harry did not look at the twins. His face felt hot,

"As subtle as ever my boy," James snorted.

he deliberately dropped his fork and dived down to retrieve it.

"No, no," Sirius looked appraisingly at Harry, "try fainting, it's much more dramatic and puts you out of the conversation just as well."

Harry gave him a hard nudge and tried to ignore his still flushed face as he kept going.

He heard Fred tell ask no more questions and she'll get no lies.

"And what is to stop them just lying, or not answering at all?" Remus snorted at such a departure.

"I guess they were worried Hermione would see through it, so they decided to be vague instead," James was still laughing.

Then the two left, but Ron and Hermione were still staring in confusion at each other as they tried to understand this. Ron even saying how they seemed to talk like they had this money, they'd bought him those dress robes over the summer but had never given any information about it.

Harry tried to hop topics from this dangerous subject by asking if this year really would be the worst yet.

"Subtle as drowning someone in your own cauldron," James still hadn't stopped giggling excessively.

"What?" Harry tried to defend, "it had just come up!"

"Don't even try Harry, you won't do any better in here," Lily smiled as the boys kept their shoulders shaking at his attempts.

Ron was easily distracted, saying how his brothers always went on about how important this year was, it defined the job you could apply for and everything.

"That's not entirely accurate, though it is the standard," Lily sighed.

"What do you mean?" Harry asked at once as what he found was a real change of subject.

Lily happily explained over the boys grumbling he'd find this out for himself later, "if you hadn't taken the classes you can still take the exams at the end of the year, but you have to do solitary study of three years of material all on your own. That way you're not entirely deprived of the job you want, but Merlin do you have to work extra hard for it."

"Hence earlier complaints of when this career advice happens," Sirius sighed.

They got career advice this year on all this at least. Harry asked what his two friends wanted to do when they left school, and Ron said he still nurtured the idea of being an Auror.

"I'm sure all boys think that at some time in their life," James said fondly, he was only just now growing shaky on his own idea of one.

Harry agreed at once, while Hermione kept herself vague, saying she'd like to do something worthwhile.

"Just what does she think of as worthwhile?" Lily asked with honest curiosity.

"I'm guessing something to do with politics, her and her views on everything," James said with only a touch of sarcasm that time.

Harry defended Aurors were worthwhile, and while Hermione agreed, they weren't the only worthwhile job. She even began speculating if she could go farther with SPEW...

James nodded as if his point had just been made.

Harry and Ron went back to their breakfast at once to try and ignore her, being successful until they made it to History of Magic, by common consent the most boring subject of wizardkind.

"Only because of the most boring teacher to have ever lived, and unlived!" Sirius groaned.

Professor Cuthbert Binns was the ghost teacher with a voice that had the effect to put anyone to sleep under any condition, let alone reading in a monotone over his notes. Harry and Ron had only scraped by so far by copying Hermione's notes when she was in a good mood, as she alone seemed the only person to resist the allure of sleep and kept dutiful notes as always.

"A truly magical talent in itself I've yet seen replicated," Remus smiled.

Today was no different, as Harry heard just enough of the giant wars to think this could have actually been interesting in another person's hands,

"Everyone thinks that at least a dozen times during their school life," Sirius agreed.

before his brain disengaged and he ended up playing hangman with Ron all class.

"Who won?" James asked.

"Ron, nine out of ten games," Harry sighed. "He kept using names of chess strategies and really stumping me."

Hermione shot them filthy looks out of the corner of her eye.

"You'd think she'd be used to it by now," Lily giggled.

As class ended, she snapped at them how they'd feel if she deprived them of her notes this year altogether.

Sirius gave a wild gasp at once, nearly screeching in Harry's ear, "is she mad!"

Harry managed to push him away in time to save his ear drum as the man kept going, "the only reason anyone survives that class is because of the few dedicated students who take the time to self study and share their own notes instead of listening to Binns at all! Hermione could be doing a real undermining of the schools system to be refusing to help this trend!"

"I'm sure some Ravenclaws would pin her down and steal them if it came to that," Remus reassured with backlit eyes.

Lily noticed, opened her mouth to ask, but Harry was trying to keep going while his hearing was still intact.

Ron at once snapped they'd fail their OWLs because of that, could she live with that on her conscience?

"Ah guilt trips, always a saving grace," James nodded.

She still said they deserved it, asking if they even tried?

"We did at first," Harry defended half heartedly.

"Though I'm positive that ended before you and Hermione even became friends," Sirius snorted, to which Harry didn't bother denying, more like it had ended in the first week.

Ron said they did to, they just didn't have her cleverness to keep up with him, go on and rub that in.

"I think that's the nicest thing he's ever said to her," Remus chuckled.

Hermione called that rubbish, though she looked more mollified as they went out into the courtyard for a short break.

"Compliments will get you everywhere," Sirius agreed wisely.

It was drizzling, so though most of the areas were crowded in a huddle under the school ledges and such, the three found a tree they could find some solitary under while discussing how horrid Snape was going to be on their first day. They got as far as agreeing it would be an extremely tricky potion to trip them up so soon back,

"I'm sure no one was arguing that point," James huffed.

when Cho Chang arrived, alone.

Lily's face brightened as much as Harry's for this happening again, though for an entirely different reason as she adored hearing about Harry's first crush. The boys just couldn't seem to find a reason to stop their laughing this chapter, and weren't trying very hard.

This was most unusual for her, especially twice in a row, as Harry remembered the agony of always spotting her around her friends last year during the Yule Ball lead up.

"Agony is surely the wrong word," Remus tried to say with a straight face.

"More like spectacle," Sirius didn't even bother as he finished.

Harry said hi at once, being mentally grateful he at least wasn't covered in Stinksap this time.

"There's the bright side!" James chipped in.

Cho was clearly thinking the same thing as she mentioned he'd got that stuff off.

"Did she expect him to live in it?" Sirius asked while Harry managed to nudge him even harder, trying to read as fast as possible now.

Harry stuttered out a yeah, forcing a grin like that had somehow been funny instead of mortifying, and tried to ask how her summer had gone.

"That's good, start casual," Sirius nodded, while Harry was now eyeing a pillow with deep contemplation as he forced himself to get through this.

He regretted the moment the words were out, as Cho had spent much of last year being Cedric's boyfriend, which meant her personal attachment to him had probably made her summer holidays as good as Harry's.

Then they all winced as that hadn't explicitly crossed their mind, but at least Harry's face returned to normal color as the boys stopped smirking for a moment.

Her face tightened as she began it was all right, but was saved from saying anything else by Ron asking if that was a Tornado's badge she was wearing?

"There's Ron, always managing to break awkward silence," Remus approved around James already snorting again.

Cho agreed it was, and Ron asked when? Since they started winning?

"Merlin, least my friends weren't this bad," James winced on Harry's part for Ron's poor choice there.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Lily rolled her eyes, "your friends are just as bad as you were." Remus and Sirius didn't even bother to pretend to be offended. Though she finished with pitying eyes on Harry, "but Ron really isn't helping there."

Cho gave him the lofty answer she'd had this since she was six, then turned back to Harry and said she'd see him around. Harry watched her walk away while contemplating throwing himself in the lake while Hermione rounded on Ron, calling him tactless.

"Least someone there has an idea of what's going on," Remus giggled.

Ron defended himself he was sick of people always just jumping teams to whoever was winning at the time,

"I do believe that though," Sirius nodded, happily switching topics to Quidditch much to Harry's relief.

it didn't make them real fans, but while Hermione snapped back that wasn't the point, Harry had to cut in over their bickering for the bell.

"Now there's an accomplishment," James laughed.

They didn't stop sniping at each other all the way down to Potions, leaving Harry free to wonder if he'd ever have a proper conversation with Cho that didn't end with him wanting to leave the country.

"I really don't see that one as being so bad," Remus said fairly.

"That's because we have comparisons of Prongs many worse times," Sirius reminded. "In most kids cases, that really wasn't the best."

"And what do you know about that?" Lily snorted, "you don't fall under anything resembling usual."

Sirius opened his mouth to retaliate while Harry cut them both off, he'd had enough practice.

It was of some comfort though, that was twice now she'd sought him out.

"There's the bright side," Remus nodded eagerly.

"More than Lily ever did," James said with a tragic look at his wife.

"Trust me Potter, you would not have enjoyed the reasons at those times I was getting you alone," Lily tried to say in a threatening voice, but everyone turned away when it came out too flirtatious so they wouldn't have to see James' face.

She'd been Cedric's girlfriend, so she could have every reason to hate him, that he'd come out alive. Yet she had definitely been looking in on him those past two times, with nothing resembling hostile...

"Hadn't even crossed my mind she'd think that," Sirius frowned at the idea. "You think too much."

"So you keep saying," Harry muttered, wishing his thoughts would be displayed a little less at least on this topic.

"At least your reasoning is sound," Remus said happily, "so I do agree, I think she's got a thing for you back."

"Yeah?" Harry asked with honest hope. The idea was certainly lingering in his mind, he just knew his crush on Cho had to go somewhere this year, but it really was only mild interest. For some reason as he gave a glance at his ring, nothing was sticking...

Remus didn't want to get his hopes up too much in case he was wrong as he gave a simple, "sure," as response, but Harry seemed happy enough as he kept going, even onto Snape's class.

Harry was almost in a good mood by the time the dungeon door swung close behind them.

"And that's really saying something," James snorted.

They sat in the back as usual, Harry able to perfectly ignore Ron and Hermione's huffs of irritation lingering.

"I think that's their version of flirting," Sirius muttered as he eyed the couple who were now holding hands.

Snape called for attention, which was entirely unnecessary as silence had wrung the moment he entered.

"I am convinced that's because they're all transfixed by the proportions of his nose regarding the rest of his face," Remus muttered under his breath, causing Sirius to snort.

Snape prowled to the front and began with a lecture on the coming OWLs. He had no hopes that everyone in here would earn an Acceptable, but those who failed in at least this task would suffer his wrath.

"Ooh, so scary," James rolled his eyes, while Lily gained a fresh scowl for the new threats against these children.

His gaze lingered on Neville, who gulped.

"Nice to change things up a bit," Harry muttered with disgust.

He warned that he took nothing less than an O for his future NEWT students, so this could very well be his final year with many of them.

"I have never wanted Harry to fail an exam more than I do right now," Sirius said at once.

Lily worked furiously, but couldn't even find it in herself to argue. James was the only one who felt disappointment for the statement, as he knew full well Harry would need that OWL to get into Auror training...two more years of Snape in one hand or his son's future in the other, it really was a nasty toss up.

His eyes rested hatefully on Harry, who had a moment to realize this was the last year he'd have to see Snape's face on a regular basis.

Snape kept going, saying they had a year before those happy farewells,

"What I just heard is, I don't have to care about this class for a whole year because there's no way in Merlin I'll be passing it anyways," Remus muttered while Sirius started snickering again, the back of his mind already waiting to hear Slughorn calling him out any second for these flashbacks he could appreciate.

so for now they still had work to do. He flicked his wand to the blackboard, where a potion's ingredients and instructions were put up for the Draught of Peace, an elixir that was supposed to calm anxiety and soothe agitation, though if brewed wrong, could cause one to fall into an irreversible sleep.

Lily smiled sadly to herself, thinking back to the end of their fourth year and how their fights had grown so bad over the years that by this point Potions was the only safe ground they had left. They'd discovered this one while doing a little pre studying for next year and had a fun conversation about how Muggleborns must have heard of this one at some point and how it wound up featuring in some of their fairy tales. Severus had made a few jokes about the ridiculousness of their so called cure for this...and now she just wanted to walk away for a moment and again feel the loss of that friend who was never coming back.

On Harry's left, Hermione sat up a little straighter, her expression one of utmost attention.

"She still does that eh?" James asked with mild disgust. "She does know by now there is no winning that man's approval, I know I tried all my life and-" he stopped as Lily released his hand to smack his head.

They set to work, and with ten minutes left too class, Hermione's attention was the only one who had paid off as Snape began sweeping around to see their work. Harry's smoke was coming out grey instead of the silver it should have been, while Ron's was shooting green sparks. Snape passed by her's without comment,

"A first for him I'm sure," Sirius rolled his eyes, wondering how much Snape loathed Hermione more than Harry for being so good when she was a Muggleborn.

to pause at Harry's cauldron with a horrible smirk.

"Ah the disgusting face of triumph I've had seared into my brain," Remus rolled his eyes.

He demanded of Potter what this was supposed to be?

"Butterbeer," Sirius launched at once as if he'd practiced by heart. "I'm thinking of starting my own brewery, and I'm naming it after you, Aarsehole Ale."***

"I would not drink that on a dare," James told him with a straight face.

"But it has some real potential for future carnage if bottled correctly," Remus concluded.

The Slytherins turned at once to watch the show.

No one in here could claim surprise even if they were all sick of hearing about this.

Harry tersely said the name of his attempted potion, before Snape returned if Potter could read?

"When it suits me," James clearly thought he was being smart.

Harry just glared as an answer as Snape told Potter to read the third line of the instructions given. Harry did in fact reread them, and felt his stomach drop as he realized he'd missed an ingredient he had not spotted from his spot in the back row through the haze of mist around him.

Harry muttered something about his hatred of such a stupid detail ruining his whole potion, while Lily was muttering something very similar about his horrid teaching methods. As if he'd never blown a potion in his face the first time he'd tried something new.

Snape prompted when Harry didn't answer if he'd done everything that was on that third line.

Somewhere in the back of his mind Remus found it genuinely fascinating Snape had known exactly what was wrong with the potion in such complicated steps.

Harry curtly replied no. Snape concluded in triumph then that made this mess worthless, using the spell Evanesce.

Lily's face was quickly flushing red with heated anger all over again at him utterly ruining Harry's attempt like this, what she wouldn't give to whack him upside the head with his own potion book for starters.

The boys were more unfazed by something they'd lived with through their whole childhood, even if they were itching to throw a curse or two at old Snivellus picking on one of theirs again.

Harry's potion vanished at once, leaving him with nothing to turn in for the day, while everyone else was ladling out their attempts for an actual grade. Dean's smelt of rotten eggs, and Neville was having to chip his out as it had managed the density of concrete.

"Yes, but neither of them are named Potter," James seethed with Harry.

Yet it was Harry who would be receiving zero marks for the day's work.

"I am surprised I detect a hint of caring," Sirius spotted.

"I don't actually like failing, even his classes," Harry grumbled, though his ire was less so than it had been in the moment, as he was starting to get the feeling this was by far not the worst thing to happen to him today, and that was somehow not leaving a good feeling.

Harry stormed out of class and his friends caught up to him with sympathy, Hermione pointing out Goyle's had exploded at some point and set himself on fire, Harry's was at least better than that.

"I accept this as the irony Snape deserved with lesser pleasure," Remus sighed.

Harry seethed down at his lunch that had never stopped Snape being fair before. Neither answered now, all three were aware Snape and Harry's mutual enmity had been set in stone the moment he came to this school.

"Which is at its most low of that man," Lily was still muttering threats under her breath, this wasn't coming out much more audibly. "Treating you like this when you've done nothing to him, just because of how his father acted, they are two people dammit."

Hermione almost sounded disappointed as she said she'd expected better of him this year, being in the Order and all.

"Oh such sweet delusions I never bothered indulging while I had the chance," Sirius sighed.

"Her optimism really is adorable sometimes," Remus groaned.

Ron rolled his eyes, saying poisonous toadstools didn't change their spots. He even wondered just what Dumbledore had on Snape to trust him, where was the proof he wasn't really working for You-Know-Who?

"In my doubts that you'll ever get it, I still won't swallow it then," Sirius sniffed.

Hermione said Dumbledore must have a very good reason even if it wasn't being shared with Ron.

"It would still be nice if he shared it, show why he trusted him, not even in detail, just-" Remus cut himself off with a sigh that most likely they wouldn't be getting any of this.

Before Ron had a chance to snap back, Harry snapped at the two to shut up!

That caught the others off guard as Lily said with a bit of rebuke, "Harry-"

"It was their third argument, that morning!" Harry defended, albeit more lackluster than when he'd snapped at his friends in person. "And just after Snape, I have limits."

"Sounded like you were used to it though," Remus sounded more puzzled than anything.

"You've had a bit of a short fuse lately with everyone," James agreed, "but mostly it's been coming off on them."

Harry had nothing to say to any of them, because he knew they were right. There was a terrible swirling feeling building in the back of his mind, and the moment he acknowledged how long it had been there it almost overwhelmed him right then. It took all of the self control he'd been having to learn so far not to let the memory sweep him whole, but something of all these bad feelings really was leading him to a very dark idea that involved this year... he was cut free of his thoughts by the words on the page thankfully grabbing his attention then, saving him from having to come up with a proper response.

Hermione and Ron looked offended at Harry's attitude as he kept going at the pair of them always having a go at each other! He left without another word, still mentally raging about how their constant bickering would drive anyone up a wall.

"I can see that," Remus said fairly, "though no matter how unpractical now, I'd suggest in future just walking away and letting them have it out."

"I usually do," Harry sighed, before perking up slightly and adding on for fun, "one time I timed it and they hadn't noticed I'd left for almost the whole weekend...though now I'm thinking I should have been offended by that rather than laughing it off with Neville," he finished still with a goofy smile in place.

"How long after the Yule Ball was this?" Lily asked, only just suppressing her own laughter.

"The next weekend," he didn't seem to understand her implied tone as he shrugged and moved on.

He made his way up to Divination alone, passing by Sir Cadogan but ignoring his usual attempts to start a fight from inside his painting. Thankfully he was distracted quickly by running into a wolfhound.

"A daunting challenge for the man, it should keep him busy for five whole minutes," James chuckled.

Harry spent the rest of his lunch alone at the base of the North Tower and was consequently the first to arrive into Trelawney's classroom.

"Harry, adding more torture to your life does not make anything easier," Lily groaned.

"Don't know what you're talking about Lily, this is usually a hoot," Sirius was already grinning in anticipation for the remarks to come.

Thankfully the teacher was going around and setting books on tables so missed Harry's arrival, leaving him free to wander to a shadowy corner that already had a book on it and be ignored for a few moments longer until Ron arrived. He had to look around carefully to find him, and had to wade around several chairs and pouffes to reach Harry.

"He didn't jump a few?" James demanded. "What do you lot do with your life?"

"Clearly nothing as spectacular as you," Harry chuckled.

He took a seat and immediately began to say he and Hermione had stopped arguing,

"For twenty minutes, or seconds?" Sirius asked.

"Certainly at least that hour, as she's not there," Remus shrugged.

"Unless he's still arguing with her in his head," James grinned.

but Hermione wanted the message passed along for Harry to stop taking his temper out on them.

"Thought that's what friends were for?" Remus demanded.

"That's certainly what Ron and Hermione seem to use each other for," Lily seemed to agree.

Harry tried to protest, but Ron said he was just the messenger, though he did agree it wasn't their fault how Seamus and Snape treated him.

"Well it's not as if he can say that to them," James sighed.

"Snape no, but I've got a few things Seamus could find, it's all the better they share the dorm, though that does limit some of the-"

Sirius was forced to cut off by Harry falling victim to Lily's begging eyes for him to keep going.

Harry didn't get a chance to reply to that as Trelawney began in her usual mystic voice, leaving Harry to dwell in still more annoyance, and some shame.

"Says something about your character you can feel both at once at least," Remus snorted lightly.

The Professor was continuing by saying how delighted she was to see them all back in person, as she knew they would.

James was already making pointed yawning noises.

She moved on into the lesson, saying their texts for this year were provided for them, and they'd be focusing on dreams. This was a common theme in OWLs, and while she did not believe in examinations to gage the uses of the Seeing Eye, the Headmaster insists upon setting such things.

"I do so love it when the teachers talk about how stupid the exams are," Sirius chuckled.

Her voice trailed off suggestively, leaving no one in doubts she found her subject above such things as common examinations.

"Not so much when she finishes on a high horse," Lily sniffed.

She instructed them to read the opening chapter on interpreting dreams, and then discuss with their partner what they could devine. Thankfully not being a double period, by the time they'd read their chapter they only had ten minutes to talk about dreams. In the table over, Neville at once launched into his most recent of a pair of scissors wearing his grandmother's hat had chased him around.

"I'm sure that has some deep meaning interpretations-" Remus began lightly.

"About scissors out to kill the world and his grandmother the supreme ruler of hats, yeah, I can see that happening any day now," James agreed.

Harry and Ron went back and forth for a moment of who would share the dream, Ron losing and finally saying he'd had some kind of dream about Quidditch last night, asking what deep meaning that supposedly held.

Harry's response was probably something involving marshmallows eating him.

Causing four collective snorts of laughter, James recovering from his laugh at once to demand, "just what the bloody hell is in that book of yours for desserts to be coming after you?"

"Oh, because scissors and grandmothers is so much better," Harry reminded.

It was very dull, looking up insignificant moments of your unconsciousness, and it did not help Trelawney's homework for them was to set up a month long dream diary.

"That's as easy as the last assignment I've heard," Remus chuckled. "In fact all I've heard from this class is make stuff up."

"I don't exactly have a wide imagination," Harry sighed, "I run out very fast and then get frustrated, while I know she must know I reuse a few things about dying. Probably why I've never gone far in that class."

"Yes, that's why, not because she wouldn't bother putting an interest in someone she has slated to die," Sirius cackled.

As the bell rung, Ron was already going off about the amount of homework they'd been set. Binns had given them a foot and a half essay over those giant wars, Snape had set them another foot over moonstones, now this!

"Ah the never ending complaint of homework," Remus nodded in agreement.

Fred and George really hadn't been kidding. He really hoped that Umbridge woman wouldn't set anything.

"If Moony wasn't above giving homework than no one is," James sniffed.

Remus gave him a wounded look as he demanded, "are you saying if she doesn't, I'll be replaced?"

"I'd fight for you," Sirius gave him a mock pat on the shoulder, "I'll take your lame essays over that pink cardigan any day."

They entered to find the woman looked even more like a toad squatting over her desk.

All three boys continued laughing at Harry's constant description of that, it really didn't grow old with how much sarcasm Harry infused into saying this.

They all remained quiet as they watched her and took their seats, not yet knowing what kind of disciplinarian she was.

Harry was starting to fidget uneasily though. He'd just had all of his least favorite classes back to back, and still this one felt the most foreboding of all.

She greeted them with a lively good afternoon, and received the standard mutters return.

She tutted them, saying that was not a proper greeting at all. When she addressed them, they were to reply with a resound good afternoon, Professor Umbridge.

Sirius was crinkling his nose in disgust at once as he demanded, "I really want to know which primary school sucked the life out of her! That's degrading to the first years, let alone this nonsense!"

Lily had some instinct to scold about proper manners, but stopped herself because Harry was really starting to worry her. He sounded more hostile to this woman he'd yet to have a conversation with than he had in all his times speaking of Snape.

She repeated her good afternoon to the class, whom this time responded with her desired greeting back.

"Not one of you got creative with that?" James pouted at such poor showmanship.

"Probably got lost on where to begin," Remus offered. "Such as, good morning Um, oh what was it again? Or even hem, hem, sorry had to clear my throat before I could get that out, there seems to be a frog stuck in there, or how about-"

"Remus!" Lily finally cut in loud enough over the laughing boys, at least trying to hid her own smile while he batted his eyes innocently.

She smiled with pleasure as she instructed them to put their wands away and get out their quills. There was a shuffle of glum as this order was followed, as wands away had never yet been met with anything interesting.

"True, but that follows in most classes," Sirius sighed.

Once desks were cleared except their parchment, she waved her wand to the board where words appeared:

Defence Against the Dark Arts A Return to Basic Principles

Harry stopped, mouthed the words again, and felt his bad feelings ratcheting up all over again.

Everyone else looked just as properly disgruntled for that statement, Remus muttering, "really, the teaching there has been inconsistent, but please tell me she's not going to be doing this for all students, especially the NEWT ones."

Harry could find nothing in him to argue saying otherwise.

She began by saying how disrupted this class had been with such constantly changing teachers, many of whom were not Ministry approved, therefore they were all far below the standard of OWL students.

"I think I'd already take Lockhart over this," James huffed.

"Speak for yourself," Remus grumbled. He had a predisposition to dislike her as well thanks to Harry, but nothing could be worse than that moron, right?

Therefore, this class would be handled with a structured, theory centered Ministry approved defensive magic. She commanded they copy down the following Course Aims: Insert the three course aims.

Lily's face was puckering with concern as she asked, "really, not that any of that is strictly a bad thing to be teaching them, but that was it?"

"Hopefully she'll adjust those in the fortnight, it shouldn't even take them that long to drag through something so tedious," James offered.

When everyone had finished that, she asked if everyone had their assigned books. There was another mutter and a few held their books up in answer, and she tutted at them again.

"Argh," Sirius snarled outright this time. "She's really going to insist upon that for every question. Even we'll start to run out of alterations for that stupidity."

"Best to start storing them up and only dishing them out when they're really needed," Remus agreed.

When they were asked a question, they were to respond with yes, Professor Umbridge, or no, Professor Umbridge. She repeated the question, and again got her desired answer.

She then asked them to begin reading chapter one, there was no need to talk.

Harry flipped to the beginning, but could not concentrate on it for a single moment it was as dull as Binns reading.

"I digress," James winced in horror, "even Lockhart had the decency to read them himself and keep up the stupid show, I'm sure that made it go by faster than self inflicting this dribble."

After several moments Harry realized he wasn't the only one not focusing on his work, Ron was fidgeting with a quill and not even bothering to gaze at the text but staring off into space, and Hermione had not even flipped open her copy.

That gave everyone in here a nice jolt of surprise. They'd yet to recall a moment where Hermione had directly disobeyed a teacher like this. Harry certainly found his interest spiraling back up even if it didn't erase his bad feelings for how this was going to end.

She was staring fixedly at Professor Umbridge with her hand in the air. Harry could not remember Hermione ever neglecting to read when instructed to, or indeed resisting the temptation to open any book that came under her nose.

"Well that part's not so surprising, I wouldn't even be surprised if she's read it already like all her others," Remus rolled his eyes.

"She must have some limit," James balked. "Even something as dull as that must stop her."

Soon the majority of the class was now watching Hermione's silent attempts to get their teacher's attention in far more fascination than the text.

"That is really saying something, one silence is beating out another," Sirius chuckled.

As Umbridge seemed to realize she could ignore this no longer, she finally called and had to ask for Hermione Granger's name, and Hermione asked about the course aims.

Umbridge was not impressed, saying if she read them carefully they were perfectly clear.

"Well if that isn't a bit pompous," Lily shook her head at that.

Hermione bluntly said back not at all, as they said nothing of using defensive spells.

They all shifted uncomfortably in their seat. They'd noticed this of course, but had been hoping it just hadn't come up quite yet...

There was a heavy beat of silence as all the students reread this for themselves, while Umbridge gave a trilling laugh why would they need any such thing?

"Ah, practice," Remus pointed out in a clearly 'duh' tone.

"Can we do some on her," Sirius was already muttering. Not a good sign if he was already initiating threats on this woman Lily noted, but she also just couldn't bring herself to rebuke him either, she'd been in this class for just a few minutes and was already grating on their nerves.

Surely they weren't expecting to be attacked during class?

Harry gave an awkward laugh for remembering a few instances of being attacked at places he never would have thought possible.

Ron burst out in protest they weren't going to be doing magic in here?!

She snipped at once for his hand before turning away dismissively as both Harry and Hermione did the same. She instead called back on Hermione, who asked the whole point of class was to learn and practice defensive spells.

Umbridge's tone was coming out more falsely sweet by the moment as she said that Hermione had no qualification to be saying what the whole point of any class was. Wizards much older and cleverer than her had devised this program.

All five of them gave a raised brow for that. At some point none of them would even be surprised if Hermione decided to teach the class, it would make more sense than half the choices they'd heard of so far.

They would be learning in a risk-free way-

Harry cut her off to point out being attacked wasn't risk free-

but she cut him off to say his hand!

Harry kept his first thrusted in the air.

"I thought it said you already had your hand raised," James reminded, his face somewhere between wanting to mock this situation and already realizing this was getting bad, fast.

"I put it down when I started talking," Harry muttered.

She turned away from him though, and instead called on Dean who finished Harry's point.

Umbridge gave a simpering smile at him as she asked who he expected to attack him in class?

"You're supposed to be trained inside so you expect it outside," Remus genuinely looked confused at trying to explain this, he'd never thought he'd have to, to a teacher of this subject!

"Is she actually arguing the point, saying she won't!" Lily demanded.

"I, she can't be that dense," James tried to deny, but at the bleak look on Harry's face saying his mother was right on the money, they all fell into a confounded silence as it really hit them just what Harry had been stuck with this year. Even their plethora of inept teachers sprinkled in with the few good ones had never gotten this bad!

When Dean tried to say something else, she turned and addressed the class plainly now. They had been exposed to very irresponsible wizards in this class, not to mention even a half-breed.

Remus couldn't even pretend to block out the sound of the, underserved in his opinion, protest around him since Harry was so vocally agreeing. He just wished they wouldn't as it wouldn't do any good. Thankfully as the woman wasn't present and all they could do was shout angrily about this, it didn't last too long, but there was no longer any doubt in anyone's mind. This woman had surpassed Lockhart already as worst teacher, and was right up there with insane Jr. as far as wanting to be kept around.

Dean tried to protest angrily that if she was referring to Professor Lupin, he was the best-

Remus had lost a couple of shades in fear of realizing he was so well known to the Ministry, never something a werewolf should be encouraged to do, but even such a comment as this managed to make him feel just slightly better. The kids had still thought he'd been better than Moody?

She interrupted him by pressing on that they had been frightened into believing they would be attacked any day now,

"Well, I mean, at some point they're not wrong," Harry muttered.

and the spells performed in here were often above their age and even illegal.

"And it happened to save a very important life, so this transgression was overlooked," James huffed, not particularly fond of defending the madman who'd tried to do his son in, or one of them at least, but that still felt better than agreeing with anything this woman had said.

Dean hotly pointed out even being a maniac they'd still learned loads.

Sirius literally applauded his logic, and no one could think of a good reason to stop him for a moment.

Umbridge finally snapped at him as well his hand was no longer up, before continuing the Ministry held the belief that a theoretical knowledge would be sufficient for them to pass their examinations and get through school, that is what school was all about.

"Oh yes, because after school you're just supposed to be a mindless drone to the Ministry apparently," James crinkled his nose in disgust.

Parvati took the chance and raised her hand next, being called on to ask that there was a practical bit to their DADA OWL. They'd have to use the spells then.

Umbridge dismissively pressed her point so long as they learned the theory, they could manage under the controlled monitor of the test.

"That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!" Lily yipped. "In whose right mind do you expect anyone to learn without hands on practice at some level?"

"Clearly this one is as off the wagon as Jr., but in a completely different way," Sirius felt repulsed at the idea as he rounded on Harry, "just how do you manage to get two insane people back to back?"

Harry was muttering something about how it didn't quite end any time soon, but chose not to really reply.

Parvati was incredulous the first time they'd use those spells was the actual test!

Harry finally shouted out what good was theory in the real world?

Umbridge finally looked at him and softly reminded this was school, not the real world.

"So they're not supposed to be prepared at all?!" James snarled at the same time Harry had kept going.

Harry rebutted they weren't supposed to be prepared for what was out there?

Lily gave a soft breath of laughter like the others for the comparison as the two smiled at each other, but it didn't quite erase how empty it always made her feel to see her boy already having to conform to any kind of war like mind. No, he shouldn't have to be prepared for what was out there, because she kept hoping there wouldn't be anything out there. No matter how naïve, she'd always wish for that.

Umbridge pressed there was nothing out there, who would want to hurt children?

Harry snapped at once Lord Voldemort.

All four of them shivered, though not for the same reason as Harry's classmates had just done. The idea of Voldemort inside their school, actually attacking their own classmates at the time had filled them with dread in their final year. Now Harry was having to experience the idea, two years earlier...

Ron gasped, Lavender Brown uttered a little scream, and Neville slipped sideways off his stool. Professor Umbridge, however, did not flinch.

"I'm confident it's more to do with her lack of a brain than any actual imbedded fear like the rest," Remus muttered.

She was instead glaring at Harry as she took ten points from Gryffindor and then turned to address the class again, speaking very clearly that they had all been told a Dark wizard had returned from the dead-

here interrupted by Harry shouted he hadn't been dead, but yes he was returned.

"I don't think arguing technicalities will help you right now," Lily shook her head softly even as she was watching the book intently, on tenterhooks to throw something at this woman for her son even if he was doing a superb job defending himself.

Umbridge cut him off by going on in an even more sugary voice that there was no Dark wizard. This was a lie.

Harry shouted back no it was not! He fought him!

Harry did not want to look back up at them as he said this with just as much force as he had to Umbridge. He did not want to again see the mingled fear and pride on them for this having been true. It helped to keep his eyes focused on the pages as he truly encountered his first person who was flat out calling him a liar, that wasn't just some other student. This was someone who worked for the Ministry, the government he should have been relying on to help him get people to understand this, not some woman who continued addressing him as if a naughty child about the worst experience of his life.

Umbridge set him a detention for the outburst.

No one could ignore it this time, Harry's right hand shook so hard the book nearly fell from his grip, the ghost of a burning sensation crossing those faded white words more intensely than ever before. Harry steadied himself though, and just looked on in confusion for a moment before forcing himself to ignore the moment. Whatever that odd marking of his was, it was clearly fixing to be revealed, but he just couldn't imagine in what conjuncture to this any more than the others.

She set it for tomorrow in her office, before going back even more forcefully the Ministry of Magic guaranteed this was not true!

"Because that makes it all better," Sirius' blistering tone was coming out more dangerous the more sugary Umbridge's tone had gone. Harry was already sure he would love to have put them in a quiet room together at some point, though it wouldn't have remained quiet long.

If anyone continued to fear this, please come speak to her. Now would they all please kindly return to their assigned reading.

Umbridge sat back down, while Harry stood up.

Remus drew the simple letter o out in honest anticipation to see how far Harry was going to go with this woman.

Everyone was staring at him, Seamus looked half-scared, half-fascinated.

"I would have taken anything over 'defensive of Umbridge,' so," Lily's nod came out in a jerky movement of some kind of agreement to this.

Hermione tried to stop him, but he took no heed of her as he demanded that Cedric Diggory had dropped dead of his own accord then, while ignoring his shaking voice.

James flinched at the intensity of Harry's tone, even as he sat forward in his seat, an ugly look set in place to hear the government disgrace away this death.

There was a collective gasp as if Harry had just spoken Voldemort's name again. No one had heard Harry speak of this except Ron and Hermione.

Umbridge returned in a flat, cold voice that Diggory's death had been a tragic accident.

Harry's voice snapped colder than any cracking whip as he forced himself to read out that lie. Though it truly was of some comfort to him he could feel the anger bleeding from those around him, the support and backup he could feel that hadn't been lacking from his friends per say, but they'd been sitting in more stunned silence than anything.

Harry shouted back it was murder, Voldemort had done it!

Umbridge's face went impassive then, her voice taking up its sweet, girly tone again as she called for him to come up front.

Harry did so with a violent kick to his chair first, so angry he did not care what happened next.

"I care," James muttered as his knee started bouncing with unease. Every gesture this woman had made so far just screamed he was not going to like what was coming next. Sometimes a prank wasn't enough to get his point across, and he could already feel this woman deserved far worse for whatever she was going to subject his son to.

By the time Harry got there, she was done scrawling out a note and sealed it shut with magic so that he couldn't open it, and then instructed for him to go give this to McGonagall.

That stopped Harry cold in surprise. He glanced up but saw they understood this no more than he had. What exactly did this woman think McGonagall was going to do about this?

Still, Lily managed to just find one bright spot in this, as finally Harry was getting away from her even for a moment.

He took it from her without saying a word, turned on his heel and left the room, not even looking back at Ron and Hermione, slamming the classroom door shut behind him.

"What I would pay them to start making it a trend and rally all the students to get themselves kicked out of her class," Sirius sighed.

Harry went storming through the castle for his head of house's office, his mind still a whirlwind as he ran into Peeves, who at once began cackling upon seeing him.

"I suppose there's a time and place for everything," Remus winced at that poltergeist.

"I find this an excellent use of our previous point," James' grin had turned a bit vicious. "We most certainly do need to learn to protect ourselves inside this castle. Why don't we have Peeves step inside the class for a moment to demonstrate."

"It certainly couldn't do too much harm to watch that Umbridge woman see the vitality of defensive magic being used practically," Sirius' tone held just one soft edge of a growl, while everyone was envisioning who would win in this fight against Umbridge and Peeves, and greatly enjoying the results right now.

Harry told him to get lost, but this only provoked Peeves further into breaking into song about all that Potter had done in the past.

"Should I feel honored I've gotten more than one song from him?" Harry grumbled.

"If I say yes, will it cheer you up at all?" Sirius asked.

"No," Harry said flatly.

"Oh, well then," Sirius rolled his eyes as he tried to act affronted, but mostly they were all sad Harry wasn't even playing along anymore. That's what being in one class with that woman had already done to him, they were all starting to become terrified of future results.

Harry roared at him to shut up just as he reached McGonagall's door. She shooed the poltergeist away, who indeed flew off with a raspberry, before demanding of him why he wasn't in class.

"All the flashbacks must be bombarding her at once," James said a little wistfully, at least he couldn't claim he'd ever been kicked out of class for getting into an argument with a teacher like that, it had always been intentional.

Sirius did perk up though as he pointed out, "though major credit to Harry, I don't think any of us got this accomplishment on our first day with someone new. That earns you major credit pup."

Harry still wasn't reacting, his mind too pestered on the lies that woman insisted upon, he couldn't think of anything past that for now.

Harry stated he been sent here, while McGonagall repeated his words in confusion.

"It means been given the golden ticket to leave class and come see the higher power, I'm sure you're familiar with it," Remus snarked under his breath.

He held the note out, and she opened her door to let him in. She walked around her desk before reading it, and then turning on Potter if this was true?

He demanded what in a still aggressive tone.

"Well don't take this out on here," James couldn't help the instant scolding that popped out of him, but he'd never hear of someone being disrespectful to his favorite teacher and react otherwise.

Harry's tone was finally edging out of hostile now as he looked around at James in surprise for the tone, before he quickly nodded with chagrin at his own actions, knowing he'd do the same thing to someone else he respected so much.

He quickly tacked on the word Professor to sound just a bit more polite.

Causing all the boys cackles to soothe back, at least they knew Harry meant it. They'd just had one too many instances of wannabe Death Eaters making some snide comment to their head of house for the reaction not to be instinct by now.

She began recounting the letter that had said Potter had shouted at Umbridge, called her a liar, and declared You-Know-Who as being back, which Harry denied none of.

Remus began chuckling as he saw a shining moment of James in Harry right there. Absolutely no shame or regret in those actions.

McGonagall took her seat behind her desk before gesturing at Potter to take a biscuit.

Causing all of five of them to do a double take in surprise before titterings of laughter broke out for such a comment being inserted. She really could always keep them on their toes.

Caught off guard, Harry took a ginger snap suspiciously as he sat down. This had happened once before where he'd been sure McGonagall would have his ear, but instead had invited him to join the Quidditch team.

"Still one of my favorite moments to date," James nodded with unease as he tried to guess where she could be going with this. "Surely she's not going to create something else just for Harry to join as a reward."

"I will come up to the school and hug her in thanks if so," Sirius snickered.

Professor McGonagall set down Professor Umbridge's note and looked very seriously at Harry.

"I'm sure she's had plenty of practice, all the times she's seen my face like this," Sirius nodded wisely, this one catching them so off guard James and Remus actually laughed for a second before remembering to smack him for that.

She began softly that Potter needed to be careful. Misbehavior around Umbridge would cause him more than detention and house points.

Harry tried to ask what was worse, but McGonagall gained back her usual snappy manner as she told him to use his common sense!

"That seems to get through to you best," Lily smirked.

"Keeps things serious between us," Harry said, giving an obvious look to his godfather as a clear way of apologizing for being snappy with him before as well.

Sirius took the opportunity in stride as he instantly replied, "I'll always keep things between us pup!"

The bell rang then, but McGonagall kept at her point as she said the note stated Potter was given a detention every night this week, starting tomorrow.

"But, Quidditch!" James instantly protested as he recalled Angelina's exact words about Friday.

Lily smacked him upside the head as she snapped, "priorities James."

"Did she have to set it for then," he continued quietly.

Harry cut in, horrified. Asking if she could do anything-

"Oh no, she couldn't," Remus frowned. "Dumbledore doesn't even interfere in those things, it's too undermining to the teachers."

"In this case, I think he really should make an exception," Sirius had his nose crinkled in disgust of what this woman was doing already.

McGonagall said back with no uncertain terms no she could not. He would do these detentions. Then she added for him to remember to be careful around Umbridge.

Harry burst in outrage he was only telling the truth!

"You were about Norbert too and still took that detention without such a fuss," Sirius tried to poke fun.

"This is far different and you know it," Harry sighed, clearly still not in a good enough mood to be poking back.

McGonagall gave him a stern glare back as she said this was not about truth and lies, it was about his temper needing some control.

"No to the first, but the second could use some work," James agreed.

"Learn to pick your battles mate," Remus disagreed, "I'm agreeing with all of that."

"Never quite seemed to catch that lesson," James shrugged without remorse.

She stood and was still looking down at Harry with disapproval as she told him to have another biscuit.

"Is that supposed to be a peace offering?" Harry asked, wondering at the insistence of these things.

"Just her way of trying to keep things polite," Sirius shrugged.

Harry reluctantly took another one as she asked him if he'd listened to Umbridge's start of term feast?

"I wouldn't have thought anyone had until Hermione proved me otherwise," Remus rolled his eyes at the question.

Harry struggled to recall exact phrases, before settling on what Hermione had said about the Ministry interfering at Hogwarts.

McGonagall held the door open for him as he left, saying that at least he listened to Hermione Granger.

"That really is hurtful," Harry pouted down at the final page. "As if I couldn't come to that conclusion on my own after that class!"

"Well, she's not wrong," Remus laughed as he held his hand out for the book.

Harry hesitated in giving it too him, that nasty tingling feeling still hadn't left the back of his hand where the faint white scars were, and he was really starting to dread learning the meaning of those.

HPHPHPHP

*I know I pointed this out in the last book, but the inconsistency still stands so I'm going to keep doing it. September 2nd 1995 was a Saturday, not a Monday.

**I've actually really been annoying myself I can't think up an answer to this. Did they really figure this out on themselves, and so then who fixed them up? Couldn't have been Molly, she'd question a never ending nose bleed. Of course they could have been exaggerating the whole shrivel up thing, but I still think Molly would question this too much, that's not just 'dueling'. My point stands I can not picture them doing this to random animals, so...?

***Suggested insert by a new friend of mine, Alice October, thanks for the ever loving sarcasm, which you know is my favorite.

#The Life that Never Lived #Harry Potter #fanfiction #reading the books #HP #OotP #Marauders #James Potter #remus Lupin #sirus black #Lily Potter

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alchemist-shizun · 4 years

Text

Maybe

Read on Ao3!

Ts general taglist: @whizzie72 @sapphire-knight @uhhh-ruh-roh-raggy @softanxiouspatton @royallyanxious @kim-argent-moon @lance-alt @suffering-is-my-comfort-zone @sometimeswritingsometimesdying @pushussmollworld @mylifeisadeceit @spooky-scary-virgil @angstyfanfiction @artissijam @logicalberry @pistachio-lan @roses-bubbles @princessnoodlebug @wolfie979-sideblog @gigitheimposter @murder-schmurder @punsandpodcasts @star-crossed-shipper @are-you-even--real (tell me if you want to be added or removed)

Word Count: 2,377

Characters: Roman, Virgil

Pairing(s): platonic Prinxiety (can be viewed as pre-romantic if that's your thing)

Warning(s): Self-deprecation, crying, angst, self-loathing, general emotional negativity, mild panic attack

Summary: Roman is clearly not okay. How about a song? Maybe three?

A/N: This was meant to be only a vent fic but I'm actually making it part of a series related to the events of SvS redux where Janus, Roman and Remus all visit Virgil's room for different reasons at different times. This is post-SvS redux, the prequel with Janus has already been posted. Yes, another one of those where Roman seeks comfort to Virgil. Enjoy! (All song lyrics borrowed from Virgil's playlist)

✾

Hell no.

Roman sank up in the all too familiar corridor, marching it down with heavy steps that would have formed holes on the floor if they had been just a little more massive.

The prickling in his eyes didn't matter, as the trembling of his hands counted more.

His eyes darted from a door to another as if he'd forgotten how they had been placed, ignoring his own in favour of probably the only person who would've lent him a chance to speak in that moment.

A knock then another and he was met with an uncharacteristically smiling face cornered by the trademark patchwork hoodie.

The smile faltered as Virgil processed Roman's expression.

« What did we say about repression and bottling up emotions? » that was an unusual conversation starter.

Something went definitely wrong.

« That it's … bad? It's bad. » Virgil had never been as good with words as Logan, but he could get to the point nonetheless.

« Right. So, » Roman's body seemed to be moving at light speed, mirroring how rapidly his mind was racing, how quickly he could respond. « You'll agree with me that, to prevent that, one must turn to someone else, maybe someone capable of understanding what might be going wrong. »

« A good point, I guess. »

« Indeed. Therefore if I just- » he pushed past Virgil and entered the room, quick and short steps reached the centre of it while Roman's arms opened wide as he turned back to look at Anxiety. « If I just- » his tone higher, the need to get everything out even stronger, his voice cracked and on the verge of shattering.

Virgil's concern rose, he slowly shut the door as he followed Roman's pacing with slightly wider eyes.

« If I just fucking lose it. For once. I don't know what to do anymore! Anything I do, I say anything goes wrong. I'm wrong! I'm never- » he recollected some breath, face now wet with tears. « What am I supposed to do anymore? »

Virgil mirrored everything that was opposite of Roman: mild breathing, soothing pacing, moving slowly around the room not to strengthen the other's panic.

Roman was now leaning against furniture, so Virgil reached the office chair and pulled it towards them, sitting with his chest against the back of the seat.

He looked up at Roman, careful. « What makes you say that? »

Virgil knew that type of attitude, the way your brain has a breakdown after way too many contradictions, way too many reloads and discrepancies.

It was already too late, Roman's mind went through the scenes again, which made him sob and cry even more while hearing everything they'd told him that day and before. He fell down and his face was buried in his hands.

Virgil slowly got up, careful not to make startling sounds, and reached the other, sitting next to him, but still giving him space. He tried to maintain his own tranquility so Roman wouldn't have to be around further distressing energy.

He started off with a barely audible tune which transformed into words. « As I walk through the streets of my new city, my back feeling much better, I suppose I've reclaimed the use of my imagination. For better or for worse, I've yet to know. » he tentatively put a hand on Roman's back, paying attention to his reaction and trying to console him when he noticed it didn't bother him.

« But I always knew you'd be the one to understand me, I guess that's why it took so long to get things right. » Virgil let a small smile creep on his face, remembering how much they used to bicker in the past, even though it hurt most times. « Suddenly I'm lost on my street, on my block. Oh why, oh why- »

Roman finally joined his singing, feeling the words fit him so much to let him vent that way. « Oh why haven't you been there for me? Can't you see, I'm losing my mind this time? This time I think it's for real, I can see … »

« All the tree tops turning red. The beggars near bodegas grin at me, I think they want something. I close my eyes, I tell myself to breathe. » their tone was much softer than the original song. Virgil had taken a small pause to breathe for real. « And be … calm. Be calm. » he turned to directly look at Roman. « I know you feel like you are breaking down. Oh I know that it gets so hard sometimes. » he watched as Roman tried to progressively stop crying. « Be calm. »

« Take it from me, I've been there a thousand times. » Virgil continued, softer than in the original song. « You hate your pulse because it still thinks you're alive. And everything's wrong, it just gets so hard sometimes. Be calm. »

He heard the other's breathing ease. It was working, so Virgil kept singing to make him comfortable.

« Hey. Don't write yourself off yet. It's only in your head you feel left out or looked down on. Just try your best, try everything you can. » he was looking ahead of himself, but he was sure Roman was listening. « And don't you worry what they tell themselves when you're away. »

Roman still had his head buried in his knees, so he slightly looked up at turned to the side.

« It just takes some time, little girl, you're in the middle of the ride, everything, everything will be just fine. Everything, everything will be all right. »

Virgil was resting his arm around Roman's shoulder now, finding him much more relaxed.

« Live right now, just be yourself. It doesn't matter if that's good enough for someone else. » he sang quietly.

Roman moved an arm and suddenly Anxiety's room changed and they were sitting against a tree at night up on a hill, while they watched the silent city in the distance with its flickering lights that matched the stars.

The wind was howling so nicely that it simply turned into a gentle breeze, tickling their skin with a touch of coldness.

Virgil resonated that it could have been a safe space for Roman, so he kept singing until the other felt ready to talk or didn't need anymore reassurance.

« Tell me that you're alright, that everything is alright. »

He still had his arm around the other's shoulders.

« Please tell me that you're alright, that everything is alright. »

As he sang, he moved his hand and ran it through Roman's hair instead.

« I'm sick of the things I do when I'm nervous like cleaning the oven or checking my tires. »

Roman joined him for real this time. « Or counting the number of tiles in the ceiling ... »

« Head for the hills, the kitchen's on fire. »

Creativity let a tiny smile on his face, so Virgil carried on with confidence. « I used to rely on self-medication, I guess I still do that from time to time. But I'm getting better at fighting the future. Someday you'll be fine. »

« Yes, I'll be just fine. » Roman got closer to the other, resting his head on Virgil's shoulder for more comfort.

They started singing the chorus together and ended up in a giggling mess, but when it all died down, Roman sighed heavily and the illusion fell, taking them back to Virgil's room.

There was a beat of silence.

« In the courtroom. Remember how every single one of you kept going against me for wanting to hear that snake out? »

Anxiety nodded. There was no lie in that, but the premise already told him where that was going.

« So I made up my mind, right? I listened to all of your reasoning, I did my best to understand, to put my pride and dreams aside to please you. I tried to convince myself that it was the best for Thomas when my guts kept telling me how wrong I was. »

Roman watched the other tilt his head without losing focus.

« I brushed aside my dread during the wedding day. I changed my mind on everything I was settled on during that day. Only for what? Seeing everybody doing a big U-turn and leaving me in my own confusion. »

« A u-turn? » Virgil raised an eyebrow, clearly unaware of the events that had just occurred.

« Magically now both Patton and Thomas, and I suppose also Logan, are in favour of that slimy guy's ideals. Now. Only now that everything is all gone and lost already. Now that I can't go back in time, now that it's too late for anything! »

He had thought he was done with tears. « So it ended up my longing for the callback was a better choice and I wasn't being selfish? What do I even do with it? It's as useful as a get well soon card for when you get an indelible scar. »

« They sided with Deceit? » Virgil wasn't quite sure he had heard correctly.

Though … his conversation with him earlier …

« Blindly, almost with no opposition. And I can't believe any direction I follow, everybody turns around and leaves me walking by myself. » Roman curled up on himself more, arms around his chest. « Alone in the wrong spotlight. » he mumbled, side eyeing the drawer next to him.

Virgil fidgeted with the hem of his hoodie, considering the ever too familiar situation.

He extended an arm towards him, uncharacteristically determined. « Come here. »

A pair of eyes looked up at Virgil unsure, only to accept his help and end up sitting on the bed, opposite to him.

« I know how it feels. Deep confusion, you don't know what's right or wrong anymore and you feel like anywhere you go, you'll crash into a wall and someone will end up hurt. You, most likely. »

Virgil refrained from making eye-contact.

« And it hurts, it hurts like hell cause the ones that are going against you are the ones you love and that you believe that love you as well. That's where the doubts start and then you spiral. »

Roman found his reasoning so accurate it hit him like a sharp sudden pain in his heart.

« But you know what? »

He raised his head.

« I'm glad you didn't bottle it up this time. Because if you did … I don't know, I'm just happy you haven't fought with anyone. »

That was when he raised an eyebrow: he heard Virgil's voice shift towards the end, in a sort of understood thing, an unspoken truth Virgil didn't want to uncover.

Maybe they really were alike under all those layers of sarcasm.

« And that- that wouldn't have been nice at all. » Roman had also noticed how the conversation was stalling on that particular, as if the other weren't able to move on from that topic and now his mind was clouded by that argument only.

« You … » Roman encouraged the best he could. « Well, yeah. It's pretty obvious you had a fight with them. Right? »

Virgil shook his head to brush off the topic. « Gosh, I'm sorry. I was trying to help you and yet I made my own issues surface. »

« It's okay, we're all a bit broken. » Roman tentatively stretched his arm and put a hand on his back.

The other turned to him and showed a small smile. « See, that's what I admire of you. Even while distressed you still try to sympathize with others. » there was a pause. « I would probably yell at everyone like when someone insists on talking before an hour of being awake. »

Neither of them could escape laughter, a little heartfelt moment in a dark alley.

« Back to you, anyway. » Virgil waved his hand as if to physically brush the topic away. « I believe the reason why this mess has happened is because everyone's pretty confused. We've been touching a complicated ground and it's only logical we make mistakes. »

« The thing is, Roman, you care a lot about Thomas and it shows. You want to make sure he's going to be happy about the kind of life he pursues. » he looked him in the eyes. « You're not doing anything wrong. Rather, you're doing your best. »

Roman bit his lip and he nodded, his eyes sliding down to the floor.

« In the long run, I'm sure it's gonna be fine. And if Thomas will ever end up in the bad zone, we'll find a way to get him out of here, okay? »

Creativity exhaled deeply and felt the tangle in his stomach slowly dissipate.

« Thank you, Virgil. »

Anxiety relaxed as he watched Roman's features soften. « Don't mention it. »

Roman stood up, brushing his hands on his face like he had been washing it with imaginary water.

« I guess I'll try and let off some steam in the Imagination. » he made to head for the door, when he stopped dead in his tracks.

« Fuck. »

Virgil's heart sunk, expecting further complexes. « What's wrong? »

« I forgot to ask if you were stable enough to endure a vent moment. »

But then, of course, another smile made its way on his face. « Nah, I had been playing stupid video games until ten minutes ago. Don't worry big guy, go fight the dragon witch. »

Roman huffed as he crossed the hallway again. « I've defeated her eons ago, let me live it down! »

Snickering accompanied the echo of his voice and Virgil's smile only faltered some seconds after.

Yeah, maybe they were all a little bit broken. Maybe he was still holding grudges he thought he didn't care about anymore.

But, then again, maybe everything was going to be alright either way.

#purp's writings #virgil sanders #roman sanders #ts virgil #ts roman #sanders sides #fanfiction #ts fanfic #platonic prinxiety #read the warnings #angst #hurt/comfort

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ayyyez · 4 years

Text

Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki/Reader

Contains: angst and fluff Warnings: none, except swearing and kissing? Word count: 13,102 Summary: Reader finds themselves drawn to Bakugou and when they follow this feeling they end up with more than they bargained for when they become his source of comfort every night before he goes to sleep.

Also posted to my ao3 link is here [x]

a/n: This is a very self indulgent oneshot. I got inspiration for while catching up with the anime. I just love Bakugou’s character and wanted to see him be soft. Also first time writing for Bakugou and BNHA in general but it was fun! It’s very long so I’m adding a cut.

It started after the kidnapping incident when everyone moved into the dorms.

You had been shaken to the core when it all went down but now that it was over the only person you were actually concerned about was Bakugou. There was no doubt he would hold his own but you could tell his behaviour had been off since he had come back. You were also smart enough to know he wouldn’t talk about it.

That didn’t mean you would let it go.

Everyone was sitting in the common area, buzzing with the new dorm life. From their perspective, things were smoother, more subtle in their from home to dorm life. Your chin rested in your hand, your other lingering on your lap. You watched as the others filled the silence with conversation and you instinctively turned your head to find Bakugou.

He was sitting in a corner seat, arms crossed while Kirishima talked to him about something, you couldn’t quite hear. Through the window sunlight shines onto the left side of his face and casts a shadow along the other. It highlights his hair around his forehead and the indifferent expression on his face. The sight alone brought back memories of the event, when all you could think about was saving your classmate.

It was then Mina decided it would be a good idea to check out the boys rooms and rate them accordingly. Your gaze snapped to the girls in front of you and you couldn’t help but jump on board. The excitement of moving into the dorms was an infectious thing and you hoped it would reach everyone—especially him.

As you went from floor to floor and observed each room you couldn’t help but feel something was missing. Instinctively you searched the crowd, noticing a few faces missing. It was then Kirishima mentioned Bakugou had gone to bed and something inside you snapped. You just couldn’t take the guilt eating away at you anymore.

‘Actually, I just remembered I forgot something in my room.’ You called to your friends and quickly jumped out of the elevator.

‘Oh, alright.’ Ochako called after you. ‘Meet us at the next floor soon okay!’

You nodded with a smile as the door closed.

Then you turned and headed back down toward Bakugou’s room.

It was stupid really, going into his private space in order to check on him. He was definitely not someone who would take that lightly. But getting yelled at didn’t really bother you. The fact he might bottle it all up did.

When you reached the door you took a deep breath then knocked.

There was no answer.

You knocked again this time adding, ‘It’s me, can I come in?’

‘Get lost. I’m not showing anyone my room.’ He replied, voice muffled by the door.

‘That’s not why I’m here and it’s just me.’

There was a pause which made you a little hopeful.

‘I don’t care I’m sleeping.’

‘You’re a pretty talkative sleeper.’

‘And you’re pretty damn annoying.’

‘Would you stop being an idiot and let me in.’ You sighed, pressing your forehead against the wood. ‘Please.’

There was another pause.

‘Why are you here?’

‘To talk to you.’

‘So, talk.’

‘Are you seriously going to make me shout to you through the door all night?’

‘If you plan on being here all night then I’m moving out.’

You groaned, trying to remind yourself why you were there in the first place. With a deep breath, you pushed off the door, feeling the cool wood against your fingers as they slid down.

‘If you won’t open the door then I’ll just get in there my own way.’

‘Tch, whatever.’ You heard him grunt. ‘Just get lost already.’

‘Nope, I’m coming in. 3…2…’ You paused waiting for him to protest. ‘1.’

You used your teleportation quirk and found yourself standing in the centre of his room.

The room was dark, obviously he hadn’t lied about his intention to sleep since all the lights were out. The curtain of the room was open an inch letting in the moonlight. Using the subtle light it cast you searched the rest of the room. That was when you spotted a large mound in the bed.

You took a deep breath, preparing to say something.

His eyes met yours once you did. Him lying on his bed looking up at you and you standing, (uninvited) in his room.

‘Say what you want and get out already.’ He said, a little softer than usual.

‘Yeah, yeah.’ You sighed, reaching behind in the dark until you found what felt like a chair. After a few moments of awkward manoeuvring in the dark you sat down on the chair which slid back into the desk. With more shifting and shuffling you managed to turn it to face him.

‘Well I haven’t got all night,’ Bakugou said a little louder, ‘Don’t think I won’t throw you out.’

‘I came to check on you and—’

‘I don’t need a babysitter.’

‘Would you shut up and just listen to me,’ you sighed again, trying to force yourself once again to remember why you were there. ‘Like I said, I came to check on you and to apologise.’

You could tell by his silence that he hadn’t expected that.

‘That night at camp when…’ You needed to choose your words carefully. ‘When it happened. A big part of that was my fault.’

‘How was it your fault?’ His tone soft again but still held a touch his brash nature—that touch of him.

‘Because I was there and my quirk is supposed to be for those situations, okay? I should have been faster to get to you and—’

‘Enough already!’ He sat up. ‘Don’t be dumb enough to think it was your fault, no ones going to blame you for it so why even worry?’ You heard him sigh. ‘If that’s all you’re worried about then don’t be. So stop feeling guilty over nothing. You can go now.’

‘It’s not nothing.’ You said, firmly. ‘It’s a big deal to me.’

‘Well it’s not to me so forget it.’ You heard him flop back down against his pillow. ‘If you’re that worried then learn to make your quirk better.’

‘I plan to.’

A heavy silence filled the air but it wasn’t uncomfortable just new and unexplored.

You concentrated on the way the fabric of your pants slid between you fingers as your fists balled against them. Taking a deep breath, you realised that in his own way, Bakugou had told you not to feel guilty on his account and you knew he meant it. But you also knew it was probably him blaming himself.

‘It’s not your fault either you know.’ You said, softly. ‘No one blames you.’

‘Tch.’ He rolled over toward the wall, away from you. ‘Is that all?’

Why do you take on everything alone?

Honestly, that was all you had come to say but a part of you didn’t feel like his feelings toward the matter was resolved. You needed to do more or at least try to say something to make him talk.

‘What was it like?’ You paused, before clarifying, ‘Being taken by villains who wanted to recruit you.’

‘What do you think?’ Bakugou scoffed, shifting in his bed. ‘It was an insulting pain in the ass. Are asking if I was scared?’

‘I would have been. Of course I wouldn’t let that get in the way of my trying to escape but I would have been scared. I think anyone would have been scared.’

‘I wasn’t scared of a bunch of villains.’

‘That’s not what I mean.’

‘Huh? What the hell do you mean then?’

‘Just that not knowing what was going to happen would have been awful. Wondering how long it would take before someone would come. Villains assuming they could recruit you in the first place. Getting so misjudged when you aren’t even close to being a villain.’

Bakugou didn’t reply but you heard him shift again, presumably to turn further away from you since you couldn’t make out his face anymore.

‘I know you’re fearless but I figured even you needed to vent about it. Talk to someone who isn’t just trying to find out every detail about the event to track them down, you know?’ You sighed and stood from the chair and looked out the window.

‘I’m not fearless,’ he said, quietly, ‘I just don’t worry about all the dumb stuff like you do.’

For the first time that night you smiled.

‘Yeah, I guess that’s true.’ You let out a small laugh as you approached his bed. ‘But that stuff isn’t dumb, it’s normal. Don’t act like you don’t worry about that stuff sometimes.’ You leant down on the bed and poked him.

Bakugou flinched and looked over his shoulder.

‘Get out already!’

You laughed again. ‘Aw, come on I thought we had a breakthrough.’ You poked him again. ‘Come and inspect the last of the rooms with everyone.’

‘Hell no.’

‘Geez.’ You poked him again

‘Stop it.’

‘Come on!’

Another poke.

‘No.’

You went to poke him again but he turned and grabbed out wrist before you could.

With a yelp you fell forward onto the bed, face first against his pillow, your arm slung around him.

‘What the hell get out of my bed.’ Bakugou said, a little too quietly.

When you lifted yourself up, it took you a second to realise the position you were in. As you did you got an inhale of his scent. You weren’t sure if it was his scent or the scent of his shampoo sunken into the pillow but it was… nice? Fascinating.

You turned onto your back, removing your arm from around him with a huff.

‘You’re the one pulled me onto your bed.’ You reminded him, feeling a tingling sensation shoot through the arm that had touched him.

‘The hell I did.’ He shifted next to you.

‘Yeah well, either way, it’s still your fault.’

Bakugou grumbled but he didn’t push you out like you thought he would. Maybe he didn’t mind as much as he was making out. You took it upon yourself to test that theory.

‘Well, this bed is pretty comfy,’ You said coyly, faking a yawn, ‘and I am tired.’

‘Tch.’

A smile spread across your face.

You were fairly certain that had any of the other classmates tried this they would have been blasted out the door by now. That fact alone urged you to revel in this moment as long as possible.

Kicking your house shoes off you cautiously shifted and got under the blanket. The moment you did you were surrounded by warmth. You could feel it envelop you but most especially from his back which you accidentally grazed with your arm.

‘What the hell?’ Bakugou said, looking back at you for second before shoving his face back down on the pillow.

You turned to face his back, wondering whether or not you were crossing a line.

Bakugou wasn’t the type of person to keep quiet if you were bothering him and you honestly wondered why he hadn’t made more of an effort to kick you out. By his standards it was well pretty strange. Perhaps there was something more to it.

A boldness rose in you, a boldness you hadn’t know was there.

The next thing you knew you were scooting closer to Bakugou and carefully putting an arm around him to spoon.

He tensed on impact, making no sudden movements. You swear after a few seconds his skin grew even hotter but neither of you said anything. And he didn’t explode either.

You don’t know what possessed you to hold him. Somewhere in the back of your mind the idea of making sure he was alright turned into a need to make him feel alright. Words had seem to fail when it came to Bakugou so actions served as your only resort.

Still, it did seem a little overboard but it also felt nice. Really nice.

‘You’re warm,’ you whispered without thinking, letting your eyes drift closed.

‘Obviously,’ Bakugou replied, still not moving out of your hold.

You shuffled a little bit closer to him, seeking out more of his warmth. Your body had felt so cold in comparison to the heat he was radiating. He was like your own personal heater. Oh, you wanted more of this.

His breath hitched as you shifted, causing your eyes to crack open, as if only realising what you were doing. Perhaps this wasn’t a good idea after all.

‘Do you want me to leave now?’ You whispered.

‘I want to sleep.’

That wasn’t exactly an answer.

Just when you opened your mouth to say something else he snapped.

‘Just shut up and go to sleep and I swear if you tell anyone else about this—’

‘I won’t,’ you promised, ‘Let’s sleep.’

‘Hmph.’ Bakugou grunted before pressing further into the pillow.

There was much left unsaid between the two of you but it was undoubtedly there, like a cloud veiled moon in the sky, the faint light shinning through, not entirely seen, not entirely hidden.

You snuggled your head into the pillow and pressed closer.

That night you fell asleep holding Bakugou like it was the most natural thing in the world.

In the morning you both stirred awake immersed in a new reality. Except you weren’t in the same position you had been in when you had fallen asleep. Bakugou had shifted and moved and was facing you. It took a second for your eyes to focus but when they did you found his wide eyes staring back at you.

So it hadn’t been a dream after all. Damn.

You didn’t want him to freak out about it so you tried to act casual.

Carefully, shifting your arms away, you stretched before getting out of the bed. You made sure not to do it too fast as to look like you were running away. A part of you wasn’t sure why that was important, perhaps you simply didn’t want to hurt his feelings?

‘Morning.’ You mumbled, sleepily turning back to him. ‘I should be getting back to my room.’

Bakugou didn’t say anything, just stared at you.

‘Well, see you later.’ You said, teleporting to your room.

The moment you did you dropped the casual facade and wondered what the hell you had done. You had spent the night sleeping in Bakugou’s bed and he let you. That was something you never anticipated to happen.

Slapping your hands over your cheeks you groaned. Then, determined to dive back into reality, you went about busying yourself with a shower. You needed to forget what had happened and focus on going to school.

At breakfast you made a point to act as normal as possible and fight the urge to seek him out. As you spooned every last bite into your mouth, Ochako talked about how sleeping in the dorm was refreshing, you nodded along. But you couldn’t quite invest yourself into the conversation like you normally would, too distracted by the problem you faced.

Internally, you resigned yourself to the fact that it was a one time thing. Bakugou would definitely pretend it never happened and you were fine with that. Things would go back to normal soon enough and the uncertainty bubbling inside you would surely disappear.

For the rest of the day things went on like they normally did. The class spent the day working on developing ultimate moves which quickly took your mind off things. You already had in mind some moves you could utilise but you needed to fine tune them if they were going to be ultimate. You needed to get stronger.

Then there was your costume design to reconsider.

When your eyes did finally land on Bakugou he seemed very enthralled with his ultimate move training. It brought a smile to your face seeing how pumped he was. It also made you feel at ease, knowing he wasn’t worrying about the night before. That was definitely a good thing..

‘Did you have any thoughts about costume changes?’

You turned to find Ochako standing behind you, pulling your attention away.

‘I’m thinking of same design by lighter material and lighter boots.’ You smiled, the ideas and possibilities overcoming you. ‘That way I can move faster and it will be less effort to phase from one place to another, you know?’

‘That’s really smart!’ Ochako agreed. ‘I was thinking of making a couple upgrades too! Did you want to come arrange them with me?’

‘Yeah, sounds good.’

You turned to spare one last look toward Bakugou. He was standing on top of the makeshift mountain and already looking at you. Your eyes met for a painstaking moment before you turned away and followed Ochako. You were barely aware of the goosebumps on your skin on the way out of the training room.

The day had been so packed that it went by pretty quickly and before you knew it the training was over.

‘Hey are you coming?’ Mina called out to you. ‘We are all walking back to the dorms together.’

You waved her off. ‘It’s fine, I’ll catch up soon,’ You called, ‘I just have to pack up my stuff!’

By the time you had finished packing up your things you were left alone in the classroom. It wasn’t that big a deal being left alone when you were about to walk back the dorm room where everyone was waiting. A part of you enjoyed the small moment alone.

As you walked out the door, bag on your shoulder, you were alerted to someones presence.

Turning with a defensive stance, you found Bakugou leaning against the wall.

‘Oh, hey,’ you said, stopping next to him, ‘Were you waiting for me?’

Bakugou scoffed. ‘No, why would I do that?’

You shrugged, unfazed. ‘I don’t know.’

‘I just didn’t feel like walking back chatting with everyone else, alright?’

‘Alright.’

When he didn’t say anything else or move to walk away you wondered what he was waiting for. Then an idea struck you.

‘Well since you’re still here,’ you began, clutching the strap of your bag a little tighter, ‘did you want to walk back together? I’m kind of enjoying the quiet too.’

Bakugou sighed. ‘Yeah, whatever.’

You gave him a small smile and began walking back toward the dorms together.

Bakugou stood at your side, walking with his hands buried deep in his pockets. He also looked deep in thought, judging by his frown, so you didn’t bother trying to make conversation. It was nice just walking together in silence for a change.

The quiet allowed your mind wandered to the night before and an uncertain feeling bubbled inside of you. A thousand questions penetrated your mind. (Was this his way of making things normal between the two of you again? Was that why he was waiting for you?) Perhaps he really did want to avoid everyone else and it had nothing to do with you.

Pushing out the intrusive thoughts and forcing a smile you continued on walking. Instead of dwelling on the unease you instead wondered dinner and how it was going to work with everyone else here. Perhaps there would ramen or soba.

‘Hey?’ Bakugou asked, breaking your train of thought.

‘Hm?’ You replied.

When he didn’t reply you stopped and turned, realising he wasn’t walking beside you anymore. He stopped a few steps behind you and staring at the ground.

‘What is it?’ You asked.

‘Are you going to annoy me again tonight if I slip out early?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Don’t play dumb!’ He yelled, like he always did.

‘I’m not, you just need to be more specific!’ You parried but you underestimated how much the night before had affected him.

Bakugou could have meant several things. Were you going to go into his room and bother him or even go and sleep in his bed again. Out of all the possibilities, you knew which one was the most likely. You just weren’t sure why he was asking.

‘You know what I mean.’ He said, quietly.

‘I…hadn’t thought about tonight.’ You replied, honestly. You had been so caught up in the past night you hadn’t thought about the next one. That was Bakugou though, always thinking ahead.

When he didn’t reply or move you knew you had to say something else or the two of you would remain there frozen in silence.

‘Did you want me to come?’

‘Like I care!’ He said a little too quickly, brushing past you.

You blinked at the bluntness of his statement but it didn’t really bother you as much as it amused you. Then your smile faded a little as you realised there was nothing fragile about his voice but the words still came across to you as vulnerable.

When you didn’t follow him Bakugou turned back.

‘Hurry up or the others will be a pain and ask me where you are!’

‘Coming.’ You said, running to catch up.

The rest of the walk was made in silence. Your head spinning at the implications of Bakugou’s question and the way he was acted.

There were more questions. Did he want to make sure it wouldn’t happen again? Is that why he was waiting outside of the classroom?

Whatever the case you decided going to his room tonight would not be a good idea. Not that it bothered you; you had already told yourself it was a onetime thing. A sudden fluttery feeling arose inside you as you brushed by him and you each went your seperate ways.

The excitement of dorm life still bubbled amongst the girls and Ochako decided that you should show Tsuyu the rooms. Ultimately, you got dragged along since you had missed out on some too.

They assumed you had gone to bed the night before so Ochako filled you in on everything you missed. You wanted to return the gesture and tell her what had really happened to you but you knew you couldn’t. It wasn’t the sort of secret you could share even with your friend. After all it wasn’t just your secret.

Time moved pretty quickly after that.

Dinner came around and after came cleaning up followed by everyone heading to shower or retreating to their own rooms. You took the opportunity to shower and return to your room, reflecting on the day.

The whole time you worried you had crossed a line with Bakugou. Even you, as forward a person as you were, couldn’t deny that sleeping in the same bed as him had been weird. Especially how calming and warm it had felt. Bakugou was anything but calming when it came to day to day life.

Deciding to ignore that thought for now, you came back to the common area to see if anyone was still awake. That’s when you heard the array of voices; the girls talking in one part of the common area and the boys in the other.

The moment you entered the room your eyes met with Bakugou’s. You stopped, exchanging a long glance before he looked away. With an internal shrug you turned toward the girls and joined in on their conversation. Something about Ochako being in love.

You smiled and asked her if it were true. It only made her blush and freak out.

‘I don’t think she is going to tell us.’ You chuckled. ‘Maybe we should let her be.’

Momo agreed.

‘Aw come on Ochako!’ Mina insisted.

‘You know,’ you began, ‘maybe she would be more willing if you all talked about who you loved.’ You raised your brows at Mina for emphasis.

‘But I don’t have anyone!’ Mina groaned.

‘Then maybe Ochako doesn’t either.’

Mina pouted but relented and you simply shrugged.

‘Fine we’ll drop it,’ Mina agreed, before adding, ‘For now!’

You chuckled again. ‘Good enough.’

A burst of laughter and yelling came from the boys sat across the room. You turned toward the noise to find Bakugou standing.

‘Would you shut up!’ He yelled, before turning to walk away. ‘I’m going to bed!’ He shoved his hands in his pockets as he walked by the couch you were sitting on.

The moment Bakugou walked by he looked up at you, your eyes meeting once again. They lingered for a moment and you were overcome by a profound want—the want to reach out to him—to sooth him. Then he looked away and hurried by in a huff.

There was something about that look you couldn’t shake. In fact, it looked like he was trying to tell you something. It resembled the look he gave you earlier when you walked home, when he was telling you hurry up.

No, that couldn’t have been it. He would have said something, right?

Shaking your head of the thought, you turned your attention back to the girls. For about five painful minutes you tried to get re-involved in the conversation but you just couldn’t concentrate. There were too many questions on your mind. Too many things unanswered gathered inside you like a pile of rocks weighing you down.

‘I’m going to bed,’ You said, standing up abruptly. ‘See you in the morning.’

The girls bided you goodnight and you were gone, walking in long strides toward the elevator. You could feel the heat in your cheeks with every step, the adrenaline pumping inside of you.

Pushing the button for the fourth floor, the doors shut in front of you, sealing off the voices of the common room. All the babble disappeared and the silence hit you like a cold shower. As the elevator began to ascend with a jolt, you felt somewhat numb. Your mind jumped from thought to thought without focus.

The doors dinged open and that fluttering feeling emerged in your stomach.

The question remained: should you go straight to your room or should you go and see Bakugou again?

Earlier in the day you had decided that you wouldn’t but that look he gave you made you question that decision.

Hurry up.

Hurry up meant he wanted you to come.

The doors began to close when you shoved your arm out to stop it. It opened with another ding and you leapt out onto your floor, heading to your room.

When you came face to face with your door, you froze. Even as your hand came to the handle it hesitated. Something in the back of your mind screamed at you to go and figure out what he had meant. You couldn’t ignore it—that wasn’t who you were.

‘Damn it.’ You muttered, releasing your hand from the handle.

Then without another thought, you teleported into Bakugou’s room.

‘About time.’

You turned to find Bakugou in his bed, hands behind his head and looking up at you. It was bizarre to witness how his face lit up at the sight of you. He probably didn’t even realise he was changing expressions.

‘If you wanted me to come you could have just said so when we walked home.’

‘Who cares? You figured it out.’

‘Actually, I’m still confused.’ You took a seat on the edge of the bed. ‘Why did you want me to come?’

Bakugou rolled his eyes. ‘Just hurry up, already!’

He really had a knack for ordering you to hurry up without telling you the what for. You did have a pretty good idea but a part of you still wanted to make him work for it.

‘Hurry up and what?’

He didn’t reply.

‘Fine.’ You relented, lifting up the covers and crawling in beside him.

Bakugou tensed a little as your arm grazed his but he didn’t move away.

You manoeuvred under the covers until you were both on your backs, side by side and staring at the ceiling. The urge to recoil was there, palpable in how he tensed under your softest touch but neither of you moved. There was a subconscious awareness of your surroundings, fine-tuned into each other, you could feel it.

‘You really are warm.’ You whispered, snuggling back against the mattress.

‘Shut up.’ He said, but it was quiet, like he the only meaning behind it was that he had nothing else to say.

You frowned a little.

‘What’s wrong with saying—’

‘If you’re gonna talk at least talk about something else.’

‘Alright,’ you said thinking of another topic. ‘Do you think you’re ready for the licensing exams?’

Bakugou snorted. ‘Of course I am!’

You chuckled. ‘I wish I was that confident.’

‘Don’t be stupid, just work on controlling your quirk better.’

‘It’s not my quirk I’m worried about.’ You said, shocked at your own honesty. ‘I’m just worried about making the right decisions when facing so many unknown opponents.’

‘Yeah well…’ Bakugou paused, ‘Tch, just work on your weaknesses if you’ve already developed your ultimate moves.’

You turned you face slightly to look at him.

Bakugou was still staring at the ceiling but his expression was softer than usual. God, was he actually trying to make you feel better?

‘That’s what I aim to do.’ You turned back to the ceiling. ‘It’s better to worry about my weaknesses than pretend they're not there at all, otherwise I won’t get stronger.’

‘Hn.’

The two of you stayed there for awhile in silence, staring up at the ceiling your arms occasionally grazing when either of you shifted. It was nice and calming, as though all your worries had been taken away.

‘Let’s go to sleep.’ Bakugou said, turning onto his side away from you. There was an implicit don’t you dare reject me thrown underneath the statement.

‘Alright.’ You turned the same way and automatically slid an arm over him.

Bakugou tensed again but he didn’t protest.

‘Goodnight,’ you whispered, closing your eyes.

He grunted in reply.

And just like that you began a routine.

Things in your day to day life went back to normal. The little anxieties you had toward the situation vanished from your mind. And you assumed it was the same for Bakugou.

During the day you attended the summer courses with your classmates and worked on getting stronger for the licensing exam. During the night you would continue working, spend time with your class mates and then, inevitably, you would find yourself in Bakugou’s room.

He never asked you to come (after that one time) but he was always expecting you. One night you confirmed that when you were a lot later than usual, studying up on something that could help you control your quirk better when you teleported into his room. He was annoyed at you for taking so long and even rolled over for you to get in.

Some nights the two of you would talk about the day or have next to nothing conversations that warmed your heart. Other nights when you were both exhausted you would climb into bed and fall asleep straight away. No matter what happened it always ended in Bakugou rolling over and you following suit.

It was a comfortable routine that you both kept a secret.

Outside of that you and Bakugou didn’t interact too much. You didn’t know whether it was because he was worried about the secret being exposed or if it was because you were afraid it meant something more than it did. It was better this way—that’s what you told yourselves.

Then the licensing exams came around. You were granted a license and Bakugou wasn’t. It was something that would hit him hard.

That night you were feeling exhausted but you were worried about both Todoroki and Bakugou since they had failed. Todoroki wasn’t the kind to open up to you so you merely wished him luck for next time. Bakugou on the other hand, well, you were worried enough to go to his room. That worry grew exponentially when you realised he wasn’t there.

An uneasy feeling resided in the pit of your stomach as you looked around his empty room. A part of you wondered whether this was him telling you to go back to your own room tonight. On the other hand, you couldn’t imagine him avoiding his own room merely because of you. He would just tell you to leave and that would be that.

Then there was the last time he had disappeared—kidnapped by villains. The thought of that made you more uneasy. You considered going to tell Aizawa but if you were wrong then Bakugou would only get into trouble. That was the last thing he needed.

You decided to bide your time and wait for him.

What you hadn’t expected was that he would come back ridiculously late and beaten up, covered in bruises and bandages.

As the door clicked open and he entered, Bakugou froze when he saw you, his mouth open and his eyes wide. It was like he hadn’t expected you to be there an —oh you actually waited? When he walked in and looked down, letting the door gently shut behind him.

‘What—’

‘Did you come to gloat?’ He cut you off.

It was like a punch to the gut accompanied by a light fluttering feeling in your stomach. You never realised that something small, like that assumption, could make you feel so deeply.

‘Of course not.’ You stood from the desk chair and took a few steps closer. ‘What happened to you?’

‘Nothing, it doesn’t matter.’

He still wouldn’t look at you.

‘Yes, it does.’

Bakugou’s fists clenched by his side before they, just as quickly, unclenched again.

‘I had unfinished business with Deku alright, the rest is none of your business.’

‘Alright,’ You exhaled, relieved it wasn’t something worse. ‘Are you okay?’

He looked up at you with wide eyes. He hadn’t expected that.

‘I’m fine.’

You nodded before asking, ‘Is Midoriya, alright?’

Bakugou frowned. ‘Why do you care?’

‘You obviously fought, I’m making sure everyone involved is alright.’

‘Whatever, he’s fine.’ Bakugou sat down on the bed and looked away. ‘You didn’t have to come here.’ There was something heavy that weighed on his mind. You could feel it just by looking at him, like a heavy weight pushing his feelings down.

‘I know but I was worried.’

‘Tch.’ His fists balled against his pants. ‘Why?’

‘Because of what happened today.’ You took a step closer. ‘Because when I got here you were no where to be seen. I was worried something had happened to you.’

‘You think I’m that weak?’ You saw the grip on his pants tighten. ‘That I’d easily get into trouble again with some villains or something?’

His words filled you with guilt. You had thought the worst but not because you thought he was weak. A part of you had seen he was vulnerable which is why you had reached out to him in the first place but you never ever saw it as a weakness.

‘I didn’t know what to think.’ You replied. ‘But I know you’re not weak. The one thing you have never been is weak.’

Bakugou’s hands unfurled and sat flat against his thighs.

‘It’s late,’ he said, getting under the covers. ‘I’m going to sleep.’

You didn’t know if that was an invitation or him telling you to get out.

Again, you reminded yourself that had he wanted you to leave he would likely have used his words, very loudly, to tell you.

Taking a deep breath you stepped toward the bed and lifted up the covers. Then you cautiously manoeuvred under them, trying your hardest not to bump Bakugou in the process. It would be like poking the bear if you did.

Feeling very much awake you stayed on your back, staring at the ceiling. Beside you Bakugou shifted, pushing himself further into the mattress. You smiled at the action and wondered what he was thinking.

‘Hurry up and go to sleep.’ He grumbled, voice slightly muffled by the pillow.

A small smile came to your lips as you rolled over and put your arm on top of his. Your fingertips loosely slid between his as you pressed against him.

Bakugou flinched at the new contact but he didn’t pull away. Instead he surprised you by enclosing his fingers around yours and tugging you closer.

That night neither of you fell asleep straight away.

You were awake thinking about what could have happened between him and Midoriya. And you didn’t know it but he was awake, very conscious of you breath tickling the back of his neck and the way you made him feel so comfortable and confused at the same time.

Something shifted between you and Bakugou after that, like another wall between the two of you had been torn down.

Since Midoriya and Bakugou were on house arrest they missed out on classes. Each night when you went to Bakugou’s room he would pester you about what he had missed. You shrugged with a smile and apologised since you and the rest of the class were made to keep it a secret.

Every time Bakugou would grumpily go to bed and sulk and you would tease that maybe you should sleep in your own bed. He would never stop you but he would grumble to himself and mumble a ‘Whatever.’ He would also stop asking you about class for the rest of the night.

Then the subject of work study was brought up and explained by the Big Three.

Before you knew it you were doing your work study with Kirishima and Tamaki at Fatgum’s agency. That meant more days and nights away from school and working out in the field. It also meant more questions from Bakugou when you returned.

You couldn’t remember him being this talkative before. All he wanted to do was find out what he was missing out on. It was probably more of a blow to him that both you and Kirishima were out in the field where as he was left alone. You two were the closest to him after all, although you weren’t sure if he would use the term friends. Not when you were concerned anyway.

One night you didn’t get back in until 3am and you were thoroughly exhausted. You needed to recharge before you could so much as think about using your quirk. It was a miracle you made it through a shower before you flopped down on your bed.

Although your body was exhausted your mind was still racing with the nights events and you couldn’t sleep.

Then there was a knock at the door.

You groaned in response.

There was another knock.

‘Open the damn door.’ Bakugou’s voice carried in a harsh whisper.

With an exaggerated groan you pushed yourself up and opened the door. Your eyelids were heavy, barely able to stay open as you looked up at Bakugou.

He looked down at you with a frown.

‘Well…’ He said, scratching the back of his neck. ‘Move, already.’

You stepped to the side to allow him in and shut the door.

‘What,’ you paused to yawn before continuing, ‘are you you doing here?’

‘What do you think?’ He was harsh, almost angry but you weren’t sure why. ‘I heard Kirishima get back ages ago.’

Ah, that was it.

It dawned on you why he was so irritated, remembering how you felt back at the night of the licensing exams.

‘I didn’t want to wake you. Plus, I’m too exhausted to use my quirk after tonight.’ Then you realised something. ‘Wait. Did you wait up for me?’

Bakugou immediately looked away and if your lights were on, you swore you would have seen a blush across his cheeks.

You let out a soft laugh.

‘Sorry, I was trying to be nice but I just made you worry.’

‘Who said I was worried?’ His gaze snapped back to yours with a frown. ‘What happened to you?’ His eyes observing the tape on your cheek.

‘Oh this?’ Your hand touched it absentmindedly. ‘Some jerk landed a hit but I landed more, no big deal.’

His frown deepened but he didn’t say anything.

‘Anyway,’ you continued, swaying a little. ‘I’m really tired so…’ You fell froward your forehead landing against his chest.

You were more tired than you realised.

Bakugou brought a hand to your arm to steady you, steering you upright.

‘Come on, let’s go to bed.’

‘I can’t teleport, remember?’

‘I meant sleep here, idiot.’ He guided you down to the bed then released you, letting you do the rest.

Once you shifted under the covers you grabbed hold of his wrist and pulled him down.

‘What the hell,’ he muttered, shifting under the covers beside you. ‘Such a pain.’

It was different to how you two usually slept but things between you had changed. You were sure you could both feel it.

Beside you Bakugou remained on his back making no move to turn over.

With a sigh you shifted to face him then slung an arm over him like you usually did. He relaxed at your touch and shifted closer. You could feel his gaze on you but you were too tired to open your eyes or comment on it. All you cared about right then and the was sleeping.

‘Your mattress is soft.’ Bakugou said, quietly.

‘Is it?’ You mumbled. ‘Hadn’t noticed.’

‘Hn.’

Then you realised. ‘Actually, this is the first time I’ve slept in my bed.’

Bakugou let out a sharp breath, as though he had just realised it too. You felt him tense a little, his gaze still burning a hole through you. You contented yourself by wriggling a little against him then relaxing again.

Just as you were drifting off you swore you heard him let out a soft laugh but you weren’t sure. What you did feel was his hand settling over yours just as sleep took you.

In the morning you awoke in the same position.

You stirred, gently pressing your cheek into the pillow with a soft groan. As your eyes cracked open they met Bakugou’s staring back at you. He was wide awake.

‘What time is it?’ You mumbled, letting your eyes close again.

‘Later than usual.’ He replied.

‘School?’

‘Geez how tired are you?’ He scoffed. ‘Not for you. I got extra lessons though remember.’

‘Oh, that sucks.’ You sighed, ready to drift off again.

‘Hey don’t go back to sleep!’ He nudged you. ‘I need to get back to my room, I’ve got to leave.’

You groaned in reply.

‘Tch.’ His tone softened a little. ‘Come on.’

‘What do you need me for? Just go to your room.’

‘Are you stupid?’ When you didn’t reply he added, ‘Everyones waking up now. I can’t just walk out of here without them spotting me so I need your stupid quirk to get me there!’

‘Oh right.’

Without thinking you activated your quirk, teleporting you to Bakugou’s room but being half asleep you miscalculated a little. Instead on landing on the bed you two landed with a thud on his floor.

‘Damn it!’ Bakugou yelled. ‘What was that?’

‘Sorry.’ You said, sitting up with a yawn. ‘I barely slept.’

Bakugou’s expression softened a little.

‘Just go back and sleep. I’ve gotta get ready.’

You nodded, still drowsy. ‘Bye, have fun.’

Then you were gone, teleporting back to the warmth of your bed. Snuggling beneath the covers, letting what was left of Bakugou’s scent fill your senses, you slowly drifted back to sleep.

When you awoke you went downstairs to do your catch up work from the classes you had missed with Kirishima. You were glad you weren’t doing your work study alone. Kirishima was also fun to be around so the time flew and you didn’t feel so anxious about missing out on so much work.

By the time the two of you were done it was dinner time.

The two of you began to ate, talking and laughing between bites. Then Kirishima turned to the entrance with a smile.

‘Oh, hey guys! You’re back just in time for dinner, come join us!’

You turned to where his gaze shifted to see Bakugou and Todoroki walk in. Noticing Bakugou looked a little angry you gave him a smile.

‘Yeah, come join us!’ You called.

‘I don’t wanna eat with him!’ Bakugou yelled, gesturing to Todoroki.

Todoroki didn’t seemed fazed by this, walking instead further down the table to join another group.

‘You didn’t have to be a jerk.’ You said, unamused.

‘I just spent all day with icy hot.’ He scoffed. ‘I’m getting some dinner.’

Bakugou left to get his meal and you and Kirishima turned to each other laughing.

‘So, anyway,’ Kirishima began, ‘Fatgum said next time we would be patrolling in pairs during the day.’

‘Yeah, it’ll be like regular hero duties,’ you replied, ‘did you do much of that when you did your internship?’

‘Yeah a little but it was more them showing us rather than us participating.’

You nodded. ‘Same here.’ Then a smile came to your face. ‘To think we are finally getting a feel for doing regular hero duties. It feels surreal.’

‘Yeah, I just don’t want to get too cocky and mess up.’

‘Aha, now you’re making me nervous.’ You shook you head. ‘Don’t worry I have faith in us.’

‘Me too!’

‘Me too, what?’

The two of you turned to find Bakugou there, holding his tray off food and looking at you.

‘Oh, just work study stuff.’ You said, trying to tone down the enthusiasm.

You felt bad rubbing in the work study in his face while he was still working toward his license. You could tell Kirishima was doing the same when he followed your lead.

‘Tch.’ Bakugou sat down next to Kirishima and began eating.

‘How are the extra classes?’ Kirishima asked.

‘Lame.’ Bakugou replied, not looking up. ‘You two were talking about the work study.’

Kirishima’s face lit up. ‘Yeah you should have seen us yesterday!’ He launched into recounting the events of the night before.

You smiled and nodded, explaining things whenever Kirishima turned his attention to you. The whole time you felt Bakugou’s gaze on you and you couldn’t help but feel something was different. You spared him the occasional glance, not wanting to alert Kirishima to anything but you were certain he was too involved in his storytelling to notice.

When he was done you excused yourself to go shower. You spared Bakugou one sympathetic smile as you stood before bidding them both farewell.

The shower gave you time to relax and wash your hair properly. The night before you had been to tired and just rinsed it. Now, you finally got a chance to give it a deep clean. It also gave you time to think about everything until your mind drifted to that one thing that seemed to always nag at you: Bakugou.

There was something off about him at dinner but you couldn’t quite put your finger on what it was. You considered that perhaps you were to hyper aware of each other. Maybe you were reading too much into it.

After your shower you went straight to your room. It was late and you needed time to recharge your social battery. Plus, you still felt a little tired from yesterday. You barely had time to sit down on your bed when there was a knock at your door.

‘Who is it? You asked.

There was a long pause.

‘It’s me.’

Bakugou.

‘Come in.’

The door opened slowly and Bakugou hesitated before stepping inside. The door clicked shut behind him and his eyes met yours.

A heavy silence fell between you.

‘Is everything okay?’ You asked, gently.

‘I didn’t feel like waiting.’ He said, quickly. ‘Not like yesterday.’

‘It’s still early. I was going to come soon anyway.’

Bakugou huffed then looked up and around your room.

‘Did you…’ You watched him eyeing your room with curiosity, ‘Did you want to stay here?’

‘I don’t care.’ His eyes caught on something. He stepped to the side and looked over your shelves, eyes lingering on certain items before jerking his head to the next.

‘Let me just check over my work before I go to sleep.’ You stood and walked over to your desk, getting out the catch up work you had done earlier. ‘You can sit on the bed if you want.’

‘Yeah.’ He replied, distracted.

You smiled and began reading through your work.

Bakugou didn’t shift from his position in front of the shelves.

‘Is this you?’ He asked, pointing to a photo.

You turned to see which one it was then nodded.

‘Yeah that’s me with my parents.’

Bakugou grunted in acknowledgment then turned away and went to lie down on the bed.

You turned back and continued going through your notes. As you went you found a few grammatical errors in your answers that you touched up. Then you checked all the notes you had made for the new math formulas.

‘What’s with all the books?’ Bakugou asked.

You paused, processing what he had said.

‘I like to read.’ You replied, immediately returning to your work.

Bakugou grunted again. He didn’t speak the rest of the time you spent checking your work. You were surprised he had asked you questions about yourself in the first place. You tried not to let him distract you.

When you were finally done you placed the completed work in your bag. Then you reached your arms up and stretched, craning you neck from side to side. That was when you turned to find his eyes glued on you. It caught you a little off guard.

‘Something wrong?’ You asked, lowering your arms.

‘No.’ He said, still looking at you.

‘Right.’

You walked over to the bed and waited for him to move. When he didn’t you frowned.

‘So are you going to let me go to bed?’ You asked.

‘What do you think I’ve been hanging around for?’ Bakugou shifted under the covers and huffed.

You crawled in next to him like you usually did and cuddled up beside him.

The two of you didn’t talk. You also noticed that he also felt incredibly tense under your touch. He wasn’t relaxing and you were certain he felt hotter than usual.

‘What’s wrong?’ You asked.

‘Nothing.’ He replied.

You scoffed. ‘Yeah, right.’

Retracting your arm and rolling onto your back you sighed.

Bakugou growled and rolled onto his back too, his head turning to face you.

‘I told you, it’s nothing.’

‘Yeah right,’ you laughed, dryly. ‘I can feel your frustration from here, whatever it is that’s making you like this.’

‘Don’t be stupid.’ He muttered.

You sighed. ‘Look if you're worried about the licensing makeup exam then don’t be. I’m sure you’ll get it no problem.’

‘Obviously, I will.’ He was a little too smug for your liking but you ignored it.

‘And,’ you continued, ‘If you’re worried about getting a work study then I’m sure you’ll get one easy too. Even if you don’t you’ve always got Kirishima as a connection to Fatgum so you could always—’

‘Shut up!’ Bakugou snapped. ‘I’m not worried, alright!’

‘Shh!’ You turned to him with a frown. ‘You want the other’s to hear you?’

He groaned and turned to face the ceiling.

‘Look, I won’t pretend to know what is bothering you but don’t just bottle it up like you usually do.’ When he didn’t say anything you continued. ‘I’m not saying you have to tell me but you can if you want to.’

Bakugou didn’t say anything right away. He contented himself by staring at something on the ceiling.

You watched him, sensing some of his frustrations calming as his body relaxed next to you. An all consuming feeling filled you as you continued to look at him. It began in the pit of stomach and trailed up to your sternum. You were then very much aware of your heart beating, echoing through your body.

‘It’s nothing.’ Bakugou said, tone softening. ‘It was just something stupid. Let’s sleep.’

‘Okay.’ You said, cuddling up against his side gain. ‘So warm,’ you whispered without thinking.

Bakugou didn’t say anything, just pushed himself a little closer to you.

For the second time since this thing between you two started, you fell asleep in your bed with Bakugou. You did have to admit that your mattress was a lot softer than his.

After that things grew a little distant between the two of you. It was expected on his part, with Bakugou it was always one step forward two steps back. But for you it had to do with something bigger and beyond your control.

You and the other work study students were informed about Eri and the operation. All of your emotional and mental energy channeled into the operation.

Between the assignment and the secrecy, it made it hard to be your usual self. You weren’t the only one either and your classmates were beginning to notice. It wasn’t something you could change until you had answers.

Most of the day you were emotionally checked out, constantly wondering whether or not they would succeed in finding her location. Ochako and Tsuyu stayed by you most of the day exchanging uncertain glances. It was the only thing you could do since you couldn’t discuss it with other people around. It would do more harm that good.

At lunch you sat with Kirishima whose own somber mood matched your own.

‘It’s hard not being able to say anything and pretend.’ You confessed, forcing yourself to eat your ramen.

‘I know.’ He said, staring at his own food. ‘I hate sitting around and waiting.’

‘Me too but imagine how Mirio and Midoriya must feel.’ You sighed, letting your noodles fall back into you bowl as you slumped back in your chair.

‘What the hell happened to you two?’

You looked up to see Bakugou join you.

‘Work study stuff.’ Kirishima mumbled, still staring at his food.

Bakugou looked at you, silently asking a million questions.

‘Sorry, we can’t talk about it.’ You said, not even able to force a smile.

‘Yeah, sorry.’ Kirishima added.

A heavy silence fell between you. You were torn between keeping your emotional switch off and crying. You could feel a lump in your throat.

‘Stop mopping about and eat already!’ Bakugou said, slamming his fist down.

That seemed to wake both of you from you somber trance as you exchanged glances. Without saying anything you both began to eat your food. You were thankful you were distracted from crying. The last thing you wanted was people worrying about you.

Bakugou sighed, sparing each of you a glance before he turned his attention to his own food.

You knew by that interaction alone there was going to be questions later. You couldn’t bring yourself to worry about that. You simply didn’t have the energy.

‘What do we have next period?’ You asked, staring down at your bowl.

‘Math.’ Kirishima and Bakugou said at the same time.

You sighed and leant your cheek into the palm of your hand.

‘Just what this day needed.’ You mumbled, bringing the noodles to your mouth.

The rest of the day went by in a blur. You weren’t sure if the notes you took made sense. If you weren’t already missing days of school for work study you would have stayed in bed. Even the lecture of Iida would have been worth it.

You spent a lot of time avoiding your classmates when you could and keeping to yourself. The possibility of them picking up on this behaviour was high but there wasn’t anything else you could do. It was painful to force a smile and lie. They would understand in the end. You just had to be patient.

When you returned to your room you contemplated staying there. You knew that if you went to see Bakugou he would just ask questions. Then you remembered that night he sought you out. Maybe this time he would figure out to stay away. Yeah right.

Taking a deep breath you teleported to his room.

Bakugou was sitting on his bed, turning toward you when you arrived.

‘Hey.’ You said, half-heartedly, looking down at the floor.

‘Hey.’ He replied.

You stood there expectantly, waiting for the questions. When they didn’t come you looked up at him with an uncertain expression. But Bakugou wasn’t looking at you, he was looking down at his hands.

‘Everything okay?’ You asked.

He stopped and looked up a little.

‘Shouldn’t I be asking you that?’

‘You know I can’t—’

‘You can’t talk about it, yeah I know. That’s all I’ve heard from you.’

‘I’m sorry. It’s not intentional or personal.’ You took a deep breath and sat beside him. ‘It’s just really important.’ You let your face fall into your hands.

‘Yeah, I figured.’

Giving your eyes a gentle rub you then removed your hands from your face. You reminded yourself to keep it together.

‘Thank you.’

He turned, looking a little startled. ‘For what?’

‘For not asking about it again, even though I know you’re dying to ask.’

‘Please, I’m not stupid.’

‘I know you’re not.’ You said, putting your hand on his.

Bakugou flinched, looking down at your hands. For a hairsplitting second you thought he was going to keep it there but he quickly snatched his hand back and turned away.

It was amusing to see him in this almost bashful way but you didn’t dare laugh. Instead you simply smiled and placed your hand back in your lap.

‘I’m going to bed,’ he mumbled, the line he always used to retreat and avoid the conversation.

You stood up feeling it shift under you.

Once he was settled he turned back to you. ‘Don’t tell me you still don’t get it.’

You smirked and hopped in beside him.

‘I’m not going anywhere.’ You whispered, shifting to settle in.

Before you could settle completely Bakugou shifted and turned to face you.

You froze, waiting him to say something or do something but he just stared at you. There was a soft crease on his brow, his eyes looking at you like he wanted to say something but couldn’t. There was a pain somewhere behind his gaze you could see it.

On instinct, you reached out to him, extending every part of you that you could emotionally muster and placed your hand on his cheek. It grew hot at your touch and his eyes squeezed shut.

The thought of removing it reached the forefront of your mind but vanished when you felt his hand on top of yours. He clutched your hand and kept his palms pressed to his cheek. Don’t let go.

You swiped your thumb away from your pointer finger and across his burning cheek then back again. I won’t let go.

There was something he was trying to tell you. Something he wanted to communicate but couldn’t. You felt it, felt the same pain enveloping you but you couldn’t determine the source. The things you felt were merely a byproduct of his emotions.

Bakugou opened his eyes and looked at you.

That all-consuming feeling returned again. All you wanted to do was wrap your arms around him and pull him close and oh, suddenly you wanted to kiss him. It wasn’t even your own selfish desires that formed that want. It was an act that served take away his pain, as if by kissing him you could take all those frustrations he felt onto yourself.

Instead of kissing Bakugou you closed your eyes and took a deep breath.

There was so many things going on. You weren’t thinking straight. All the stress was building up and obviously you were projecting onto Bakugou. It was something you had imagined, nothing more.

It was only after you opened your eyes again that you realised his hand was no longer there.

His eyes watched you intently. Your hand on his cheek burned. Everything between you two buzzed and screamed and you couldn’t bare it any longer.

You retrieved your hand slowly and he moved back first—like he always did.

‘We should sleep,’ your voice scrapped against your throat. Your mind reeling with theories, to circumvent the only logical conclusion of that burning touch into one that would suit your own needs.

A crease formed across Bakugou’s brow then, with a huff, he turned back around without another word.

Suddenly, the gap between you too filled with emptiness.

The intensity of your emotions confused you and hollowed you out. You wanted to reach out to Bakugou again, to hold him like you usually did but that need was now tainted with uncertainty. You attempted to regain your composure, afraid to reach out to him again and give yourself more ideas.

—No, something isn’t right.

In one swift motion, you turned away from him, burying yourself beneath the covers. Your eyes squeezed shut and you drew a shallow breath. In and out in and out. It wasn’t long before you relaxed and eased into a deep slumber.

Something was vibrating against the bed side table. Next you you, Bakugou swore groggily.

You blindly slapped the bedside table looking for the source of the buzzing when you found your phone. Stifling a yawn, you pulled it to you face and squinted when the light blinded you.

Bakugou mumbled something against your neck.

Straining your eyes you deciphered the messages, one from Ochako and the others from—Damn.

The moment you read the update your body stiffened and your eyes widened.

“Let’s meet in the common area.”

It was only when you went to get up that you realised Bakugou was wrapped around you. And his grip was strong. His breath tickled the back of your neck.

Squirming in his hold you attempted to shift his arms.

Bakugou grumbled and pushed himself closer to you in an attempt to stop you moving.

‘I have to get up.’ You whispered.

He mumbled something impossible to make out.

You rolled your eyes.

‘Come on.’ You squirmed again. ‘I promise, I’ll be back.’

Using more force you broke his hold and jumped out of bed.

‘You really are different when you’re half asleep.’ You mumbled, watching him resettle, his arm reaching out for the loss of warmth.

Bakugou looked so childlike in his sleepy state, entangled in the sheet and sleeping on his side with an arm reached out to where you once sat. A temptation arose, to reach out to him, to ghost your fingers over his profile: over his forehead and down to the tip of his nose. But the memories of the night before rushed to the forefront of your mind and your hand burned at the thought.

Then you teleported back to your room and went downstairs to meet the other work study classmates. It was time to take action and find Eri.

That day you broke your promise and didn’t return to Bakugou’s room. Instead, you retired to your room and left before he even got out of bed.

A lot of things happened that day, during the rescue operation.

In the end Midoriya was able to rescue Eri but each of you took a hit and went down hard. Many of the heroes found themselves being taken the hospital, yourself included.

When you woke up in the hospital room you went to sit up when a searing pain overcame you arms. Looking down at your arms and legs you noticed they were bandaged from top to bottom. It was a little surreal waking up safe and away from the fight.

It was also a little strange waking up alone.

‘You look like hell.’

You looked up to find Bakugou standing at the end of the bed, hands shoved in his pockets and an indifferent expression on his face.

Then you remembered. ‘Kirishima and the others are they—’

‘How do you think I got the memo to be here?’ He sighed. ‘They got beat up pretty bad and are couple rooms down but they’re fine.’

‘Oh, good.’ You looked back down at your bandaged hands, feeling the sting beneath them.

‘What the hell happened?’

You pressed your lips together then looked up to meet his gaze. His frown was deep, he was angry but you weren’t sure why.

‘The rescue operation was to save a little girl.’

‘Yeah I got the logistics of it idiot. I meant why the hell didn’t you tell me you were leaving.’ His jaw clenched and his expression darkened.

‘I’m sorry, I tried but I didn’t want to wake you.’

‘That’s a crappy excuse.’

‘It’s not like I could have told you what was happening.’

‘You could have said something!’

You hadn’t expected this reaction from him but now you were watching him you realised there was no other way he could possibly react. Something inside him hurt.

‘Why are you angry?’ It was a question asked not to prod but to understand.

‘Why wouldn’t I be?’ He looked down for a moment. ‘You say you are going to train and make your quirk better. Then you leave without saying anything and now you're burnt all over from overusing your quirk.’

‘If I hadn’t used my quirk then more people would have died!’ You snapped, a newly realised anger surging through you. ‘I’ll heal up fine in a few days so what’s a few burns compared to their lives? Even with my quirk I couldn’t save everyone!’

‘You idiot,’ Bakugou said. ‘That’s not your fault.’

‘Maybe not but maybe if I had been stronger I could have done something more.’

Bakugou didn’t answer and you watched him look over and out the window beside your bed. The rays from the afternoon sun shone through onto him. His features were soft in this light, his expression didn’t look so hardened.

‘There’s no point worrying about what you could have done all the time. Just focus on getting stronger instead.’

You took a deep breath, letting it sit in your lungs before exhaling again. With that you already felt lighter.

‘I know.’ You whispered. ‘That’s what you said last time.’

There had been something about his words, something underlying that told you he knew how you felt. Perhaps he harboured some of the same guilt you had but for other reasons—he had his own reasons.

When he didn’t say anything you asked, ‘What’s the matter?’

‘Nothing.’ His voice was dry. He cleared his throat and turned back to face you.

It had been weeks since the two of you had fallen into the routine. All that extra time spent talking about everything and about nothing. You even started eating meals together and talking outside of the dorm rooms. Sometimes you argued and it took willpower on both sides not to lose yourselves to the familiarity of standing on opposite sides.

Now, you wanted to push further than merely being on the same side.

‘Always so secretive.’ You sighed and challenged his gaze. ‘What is nothing to you, Bakugou?’

‘Tch.’ He was deflecting. ‘Why do you care?’

—Because you care.

‘I think we established a long time ago that I care about you,’ Your brow creased a little before you continued, ‘The question is: what am I to you?’

Bakugou blushed at the question. It wasn’t a dark, obvious blush, in fact you probably wouldn’t have noticed it if you weren’t watching for a reaction. It was soft and uncharacteristic but at the same time very fitting. His frown deepened.

‘What does it matter?’ He deflected, shifting on his feet.

For someone who was brutally honest about everything else, Bakugou definitely was not in touch with his feelings. Or at least had no intention being open about them.

‘Well maybe you should think about that before you come in here lecturing me.’ You hadn’t meant to be harsh but you couldn’t hold back. ‘I mean if you don’t care then maybe this thing between us…whatever it is, should stop.’

‘What the hell, of course I care—’

The door to your room opened and the nurse doing the rounds entered.

‘Oh, good you are awake.’ The nurse approached the bed. ‘I’ve got to change the bandages so your friend will have to wait outside while I check everything over.’

You nodded. ‘That’s okay,’ you turned to Bakugou, ‘I’ll see you later.’

He mumbled a goodbye before leaving, the door sliding shut behind him.

It was nighttime when you and Kirishima returned to the dorm building. Both of you needed a little extra time to heal considering the extent of your injuries. He had even made a point of visiting you once he could get out of bed. It was nice having someone to talk to and pass the time with. Once again you were thankful for Kirishima.

It was past dinner time but there was still a group of your classmates awake discussing something over on the couches. You made a beeline to the elevator, hoping to slip by them unnoticed and Kirishima followed behind you.

When the doors shut you pushed the button to your floor.

‘Are you going to go see him?’ Kirishima asked.

You let out a soft gasp.

‘What do you mean?’ You asked, hand tightening on your bag strap.

‘I share a wall with Bakugou and he’s not exactly quiet when he talks.’ There was amusement behind his words. ‘I kind of put a couple things together and figured it out.’

‘It’s not like that.’ You sighed, trying to find the right words.

‘Yeah, I know.’ He gave you a wide smile. ‘You both are my friends after all, I know you two pretty well.’

You returned his smile, feeling a little more at ease.

‘Right.’ The doors dinged open and you both stepped out. ‘Did you tell him that you know?’

‘What are you crazy? Of course not. Besides it wouldn’t help whatever situation you two have gotten yourselves into.’

‘Thanks, Kirishima.’ You say turning toward your hall.

‘No problem.’ He moved to walk away before he stopped and turned. ‘I hope everything works out! Night.’ He gave you a quick wave.

‘Goodnight.’ You waved back.

With a smile, you returned to your room and pack away your belongings.

When you were done you set your bag down by your desk and took in the room.

Your bedroom was clean, aside from the stray water bottle on the floor beside your bed and the book you had been reading the day before you left turned upside down on the desk. It didn’t throw the room off balance but was a small wrinkle, a sign it had been lived in. In reality though you spent more time in the common area and Bakugou’s room than your own. This space was reserved for the few hours a day you needed to be alone.

Being at the hospital had created more than enough alone time. You almost drove yourself crazy with all the thoughts you had, all the little things you tried to decipher. In fact, you had felt rather lonely there, especially at night when you had to sleep.

You had missed sleeping with Bakugou. But after the last conversation the two of you had, you knew it was necessary to have some space. You realised then that you could probably sleep in your own room and he wouldn’t know you were back. A small part of you wanted to do that—to avoid Bakugou. But the part that wanted to see him was far bigger.

With a sigh you pushed yourself off the bed and stood in the centre of the room. In your head you counted backwards from 5, hoping you didn’t pop into his room at the wrong time.

After a deep breath you hit 1 and teleported into Bakugou’s dimly lit bedroom. Immediately your eyes went to the bed which was empty. Then you turned toward the source of light—the desk lamp—and saw Bakugou sitting there.

He had turned to face you, presumably having heard you teleport in. He looked at you expectantly but neither of you spoke.

The silence was heavy, filled with all the unsaid thoughts that you hid from each other. You contented yourself with sitting on the bed behind you, keeping your body facing him, your eyes not leaving his for a second. He met your stare head on, his brow creasing slightly. Both of you had fallen into the defensive stance, the walls around you up and your hearts hidden.

It took all your willpower not submit to that hold, the arguments and the projecting and instead try to pull those walls down.

‘What are you thinking about?’ You asked, softly, testing the waters.

Bakugou’s lip twitched and his fists balled against his pants.

‘Nothing.’ It was a defensive response, one he didn’t even think about but was automatic. ‘Just thinking about going to bed.’ Another excuse—it was always that excuse.

The circles you both went in were beginning to frustrate you. For once you wanted to simply say what was on the forefront of your mind and have him do the same.

Then you stood, eyes still holding his gaze and walked over to him.

‘You are avoiding it again, Bakugou.’ You said, firmly. ‘You weren’t really thinking about bed. You weren’t even looking at it. You were looking at me—still looking at me.’

He swallowed thickly, painfully audible in the silent room.

You leant down a little, feeling the weight of his gaze on you, watching your every move. You reached out to touch him, reached out to let him know it was okay but just before your hand reached him shoulder he flinched away.

‘Don’t.’ He croaked, standing upright in front of you.

‘Why not?’ You challenged, a stubbornness in your voice, impatience and irritation too. You’re both upright now daring each other to look away, to give in—you want to give in.

You can almost see the objections swimming in his eyes but he wasn’t vocalising them. His silence only prompted you to push further. You reached out again but Bakugou grabbed your wrist. You attempt to pull it forward. It was enough to trigger his reflexes and he yanked your arm away and in turn pushed you off balance.

You stumble forward but save yourself as your feet regained their footing. When you stare up at each other you there was something burning between you too. Something that was about to explode.

Bakugou lunged first–he always did, you go to pull your wrist back but you underestimated how firm the grip on your wrist was. Your eye contact doesn’t break but his eyes become hooded, half-lidded as he leant toward you. A kiss was pressed to your mouth, desperate and quick. The floodgates have opened. You followed his lips back as he retreated and then you kissed him.

He pulled back again and looked away, his cheeks blushing. You were too stunned to comment on it though because he had just kissed you. Your mind was still processing when he cleared his throat.

‘Let’s go to bed.’

You nodded accepting the retreat this one time and followed him under the covers. Your mind was far too alert to sleep. Too overcome with what had just happened.

That morning you awoke slowly, a few rays of sun peaking through the curtains into the room. With a yawn you shifted back a little and blinked your eyes open. When you immersed in world around you, you realised you were spooning Bakugou like you had several times before.

It was different this time, you had certainly never kissed before you went to bed.

As though hearing your thoughts Bakugou shifted and turned to face you his eyes seemingly wide awake as they met yours.

For a while the two of you simply stared at each other. You concentrated on how warm he was beneath your touch, your arm still wrapped around him. He seemed content lying there, waiting—for what you didn’t know.

‘Why did you kiss me?’ It was a kind question, with no hint of malice in your voice.

You felt him grow hotter.

‘Why did you kiss me back?’ He was deflecting again and you weren’t going to play that game.

‘Because I wanted to kiss you.’ Your voice was light but the weight behind those words weighed like a stone. ‘Why did you kiss me?’ You repeated the question, you needed to know.

‘Because.’ He stopped for a second, looking up at you. ‘Because every time we do this it feels like I’m on fire, even when you act like your slightest touch or comment would burn me, don’t think I’m stupid enough not to notice. What you don’t seem to get through your head is that I’m made to burn.’

For once there was such conviction behind his words. All this time you had thought you were the only one burning when he was practically up in flames beside you.

There was a pause as you glanced down from his lips back to his eyes.

‘Do you still want to burn?’ You whispered, as if a ‘no’ was still in sight, as if a ‘no’ would turn this entire situation upside down and you could abandon emotions and leave the room never to return.

Bakugou practically snorted. ‘Obviously.’

That temptation to caress his face was there again and this time you didn’t deny yourself the pleasure. You let fingers trace over over his forehead, down the bridge of his nose, over the apple of his cheek, the contour of his lips and down the column of his throat

It was enough for Bakugou to lunge forward again. His lips meeting yours with a firmness, a certainty that said he wanted this. And you indulged it, your hand still ghosting over his neck, reaching back up to his face.

Bakugou’s kisses turned softer, more lazy, more true to the earliness of the morning. And when he broke away he reached out to you for the first time and buried his face in your neck.

It was then you realised that your relationship with Bakugou had changed so rapidly over the course of a few months that it only felt natural to continue to move forward. You whatever this was, it would continue to change as the two of you grew together.

For now all you wanted to do was rest there with Bakugou a little while longer.

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