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#read the warnings
highpri3stess · 2 months
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Oh my god, they’re…
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Monsters: Mikey Sano x Reader x Izana Kurokawa
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“They ate me alive and left me for dead”
series summary: your grievous sin was Emma standing up for you to her brothers. And now you’re going to pay the heavy price for destroying their perfect family dynamic.
updates: wednesdays and fridays
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Series masterlist
mood boards
series content warnings (read carefully): 18+, DARK CONTENT, Tokyo revengers AU, female reader, virgin reader, heavy smut, polyamory, Dark Impulse Mikey, Manipulative Izana, inaccurate/inconsistent university terminology, heavy angst with little comfort, betrayal, misogyny and sexism, emotional, physical and mental abuse, virginity loss, purity culture allusion, mental break, manipulation, gaslighting, sexual harrassment, dubious consent, noncon, drug, alcohol and substance misuse/abuse, extreme violence, use of weapons, torture, criminal activities, PTSD, paranoia, emotional incest, power imbalance, character death(s) (not reader), anal penetration, mention of self-harm, religious guilt and trauma, religious themes, vouyeurism, gangbang, masochism, sadism, hard kinks, strangulation (non sexual), psychological horror (more warnings to be added soon)
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Chapter 1: Warning Signals
summary: being friends with emma sano is nice, until you get on the wrong side of the Sano brothers.
word count: 9k
cw: misogyny, alcohol mention, sex mention, rape mention, brief religious mention, reader is called a whore/slut, slutshaming, sexual assault, noncon to dubcon, public initimacy, fingering (fem recieving), dacriphilia, gaslighting, manipulation, mention of vomitting, victim blaming, destructive thoughts, mention of violence (towards reader)
Chapter 2: Shots Fired
summary: izana kurokawa decides he has to teach you a bitter lesson that you wouldn't forget any time soon
word count: 7.5k
cw: smoking, mention of drugs, brief description of child abuse, childhood trauma and sex work, violence (against both character and reader), emotional incest, night terrors, allusions to sex, mention and brief description of rape, asphyxiation (non sexual), manipulation, slut shaming, near death experience, sexual assault, noncon, oral (m.recieving), face and throat fucking, attempted murder
Chapter 3: The Lesser of Two Devils
summary: the two brothers realize that peace with emma is within their grasp, they just need your cooperation
word count: 12.3k
cw: character x character smut - cunnilingus, struggling with sexual attraction, angst, mention of assault, physical violence, slut shaming, misogyny, intrusive/dark impulsive thoughts of murder and rape, manipulation, gaslighting, objectification of reader, mental health struggles, masking, breaking and entering, smut -character x reader, reader is threatened with r*pe, dubious consent, making out, dry humping, cunnilingus (reader receiving), pussy job, terrible aftercare, religious themes and guilt, panty stealing.
Chapter 4: The Calm
summary: emma decided you needed a break from all the stress of life and takes you to her home for a vacation and for a moment, you forget that reality is often disappointing .
word count: 12.5k
cw: male masturbation, academic fatigue, misogyny, objectification, one mention of unwanted pregnacy, implied drugging, age gap relationship, fluff to heavy angst, minor character death, murder, mental break down, panic attack, gang related violence, gun violence, metions of drug related business (c*caine), dubious consent, slight manipulation, mutual masturbation, fingering (fem. receiving), jerking off, nipple sucking, praise kink, squirting, proper aftercare.
Chapter 5: Act on Dark Impulses
summary: you knew better than to trust mikey and izana. yet you fall for their plan hook, line and sinker and live through the worst night of your life.
word count:
cw: coming soon
Chapter 6: The Closest you’ll ever get to being in Love
summary: things get sicker and twisted with the two brothers and Emma is none the wiser.
word count:
cw: coming soon
Chapter 7: Trials and Tribulation
summary: You learn the hard way what happens when you refuse to be their stress relief because of your important exams.
word count:
cw: coming soon
Chapter 8: Divine Intervention
summary: You are called home to bury your mother and learn that nothing has changed since you left.
word count:
cw: coming soon
Chapter 9: Lead Me not into Temptation
summary: emma notices that something isn’t right with you when you come visit her in the sano residence.
word count:
cw: coming soon
Chapter 10: Deliver Me from All Evil
summary: you’ve finally broken the cycle, but at what cost?
word count:
cw: coming soon
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notes from monica: I do not endorse any of these behaviors or any crime committed in this fic. This is purely for entertainment and introspection, please read the warnings for the series and each chapter and in case I missed anything, please dm me. If you are part of the taglist and you cannot read this fic because of your mental health, please, please and please alert me, I will take your name off. Your mental health first before my notes.
Thank you to my mutuals and all my followers who have supported me throughout and to those who will read this fic and support me. Since I began this account, I’ve made wonderful friends and I’ve been encouraged to write beyond my fears. Thank you, especially Zaya (@manjibunny) ! The mood boards turned out well because of you and all our discussions about the fic helped me a whole lot!
Anyways, enjoy. Asks, reblogs and comments are highly appreciated. PLEASE I LOVE TO HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS AND THEORIES. It goes a long way to know what people think about my fics.
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This work belongs to monica. do not copy or steal my work, do not promote my work on tiktok or twitter and do not use my work in any AI or chatgpt program.
divider made by the lovely: @mikeykuns
banners, moodboards, gradient texts were all done by monica.
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series taglist (special thanks to): @honeybleed @manjibunny @reiners-milkbiddies @izanaki707 @rukiaslvr @ilovetwodmen @bbykoo-7 @tenjikusstuff4 @cockonoi @koffeenoe2 @kodzukein @lostsomewhereinthegarden @cashout-princess @aliyxh-o @kay-bear200 @iluv-ace @vixensbrainrotts @missgab @urmomsksk @sweeytheart @charcoal-xl @uradveragewhore @wcayaw @blueberry3muffin @haikyuusboringassmanager @diana-005 @perilous-pasta @kokoscutie @kannaaa015 @abadonkori @datura-inoxia
General taglist: @anemptypuddingcup , @happygoluckyalexis , @mastermindenoshimaalicia , @haitaniwhor3 , @iheartamajiki , @pinksilk , @lostsomewhereinthegarden , @bontensbabygirl , @linn-a-a , @leilalago , @ranscutedoll, @lovelygeniegirl1012 , @crackheadwithtoes , @haziel13, @reiners-milkbiddies , @k3rrpii @jalepp , @dreamingofyourmoons, @aceredhairliberal, @ateezbabysitters, @eroscastle , @hvziers 
Bolded can't be tagged. You can comment or send me an ask if you want to join the taglist.
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ivystoryweaver · 10 months
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This is the Masterlist for my story "With You"
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8
Part 9a Part 9b Part 10 Part 11 Part 12
Part 13 Part 14 Part 15
Part 16: Conclusion
My Masterlist
Pairing: Established relationship. Marc Spector, Steven Grant, Jake Lockley x gn!reader. Reader is engaged to Marc/Steven. Jake is new. So elements of slow burn/idiots in love. No use of y/n
Summary: Your fiancé is 2 years sober, so what could have possibly upset him enough to challenge that? (It's Khonshu and Jake). A look at how the system learns about continued servitude to Khonshu and a new alter, with you - their fiancée - by their side
Overall fic content/warnings: Angst, drinking, alcoholism/addiction, hangover, cursing, hurt/comfort, references to past abuse, longing, feeling inadequate, some banter/bickering, mentions of food, domestic fluff, slice of life, nightmare, crying, romance, violence, injury, blood, implied sex, some sex but the language remains vague and gn - more erotic than explicit, not beta'd
Immersibility: Reader is gn, is somewhat shorter than Marc/Steven/Jake and able to wear their clothes around the house
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Comfort || Taken Care of
Based on this request
Series Masterlist
Fandom: The Last of Us (HBO)
Pairing: Joel Miller x Reader
Rating: 18+. Like extremely 18+. I’d make it 20+ if that was a thing. Serious filth.
Warnings: Chonky age gap (Joel: early 50s and Reader: early 20s), extremely naïve reader, praise kink, innocence kink, non con, face-fucking, oral sex (make receiving), name calling, daddy kink, slapping, mentions of past abuse, mentions of FEDRA school abuse, dacryphilia, moneyshot, dbf!Joel (as friendly as that grump can be). Joel is a lying liar and the creepiest creep. Proceed with extreme caution.
Word count: 1.8k words
Summary: You are as sheltered as can be in a world that has fallen apart. Realizing the errors of his ways, your father has his friend Joel take you outside the QZ to teach you how to survive in the real world. Unfortunately for you, Joel is interested in teaching you more than basic survival skills.
A/N: I finally understand all the AO3 writers who are like ‘sorry for the late upload. My husband died, I gave birth, I was called upon by the US army to stop an alien invasion, my roommate stole all my things and I’m homeless. But here’s chapter 43 of my fic’ cause I am really really going through it rn. I submitted my thesis, I am defending it in a couple hours, I have to move my things to a new place immediately, I have to go to work and yet I wrote this. Who knew writing the absolute filthiest porn could make a girl feel slightly better while being in a dumpster fire…
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“It’s okay, it’s okay…” he comforts you, his large hand cupping your face as he uses his thumb to wipe your tears. Shame he had to wipe them ‘cause they made you look so much prettier, got his cock so much harder.
“Oh, you poor thing,” he cooed as he unzipped his jeans. Life on the road was hard, especially for a sheltered girl like you. Your dad did everything he could to give you the best he could within the tall walls of the QZ. You knew no pain, no suffering, and definitely knew nothing of the outside world. So here he was, on your dad’s request, taking you out into the real world. The QZ could collapse anytime as QZs often did. So when it eventually did, your dad wanted to prepare you for a harder life.
Thankfully, Joel was a kind man. He held you at night when you were feeling cold, taught you how to hunt and carried your pack for you when you were feeling tired. He also comforted you when you felt lonely.
“Daddy…” you whined, too embarrassed to ask. Calling him Daddy always did the job too. You used to call him Joel, but it changed from when he started comforting you. He told you to call him Daddy, said it was more respectful, so you obeyed.
He never made you feel ashamed for wanting comfort, but something about it made you shy.
“Yes, pretty girl. What do you need?”
You put your hand on his lap and stroked him through his jeans though he was already unzipped and ready to give you the comfort you craved.
It started just a couple kilometers from the QZ. He found you sniffling in the corner of the abandoned building you’d both found shelter in for the night. He was so sweet about it too, asking you multiple times if it was okay for him to comfort you this way. He said your dad wouldn’t like it and that was true— your dad had coddled you too much and now he’d begun overcompensating for it. He yelled at you for crying, made you take up the worst shifts in the QZ and sent you off with his friend Joel— a man feared by all of the QZ— to go out and learn the world.
So you begged him to not tell your dad and put your mouth around his cock. From then, it was the only way you could find comfort.
“I need you to say it, darlin’… What do you want?”
“Please take care of me, daddy.”
“I’m taking care of ya already, aren’t I? Make you food, give you blankets, make sure the infected don’t get to ya… What do you want now?”
“Your cock. Please.”
He nodded and took himself out for you. He sat back on the rickety chair and placed a hand on your head, guiding you down to his cock. You took his tip first and sucked on it. He hissed, so maybe it hurt. But let you keep going. You opened your mouth wider and took him in, inch by inch. It hurt sometimes, but he reassured you that you will get better. You wanted to get better.
The taste was also strange. It needed getting used to. But now that you’d had his cock a few times, you were beginning to like it, to get used to it. It was salty from his sweat and it also tasted just like the skin on your arm. But there was something distinctly Joel about it.
“Just like that, darlin’. Good girl, aren’t you? Look so damn pretty like this,” he said, pushing you gently to take more of him. You gagged a little, but went on anyway. You looked up at him, wanting to smile at his compliment but too full of him to do so. More tears rolled down your cheeks at the compliment. He hummed at the sight and twitched inside you.
“Don’t forget to use your tongue,” he reminded and you felt embarrassed for forgetting already. You wanted to be good, wanted to learn everything he taught you quickly so you didn’t trouble him with the same thing twice. But here you were, having forgotten one of the important lessons already.
You did as you were told and moved your tongue along his cock, feeling his veins and ridges. He was hard, so hard but he was also smooth. He moaned as you did, making you shiver. It felt good to hear him moan, made you feel you were doing something right even though none of this was for his own benefit.
He did it just so he could make you feel better, feel less lonely. Sometimes you weren’t even crying when you got a craving for comfort again. You asked him on random nights to fall asleep with his cock in your mouth. It was becoming a kind of an addiction, like how your dad bought those pills from Joel to keep his nightmares out and now he couldn’t go without them.
You weren’t any help with other things either, even though you’d become a better shot and were more alert when it was your turn to keep watch. Suddenly, you were reminded of the time you missed a shot at a deer and made it run off, leaving both you and Joel hungry for days. You sobbed at the reminder, feeling the sharp sting on your cheek when he slapped you.
“Useless fucking whore!” He’d called you right after slapping you. You’d cried then and you cried again at the reminder, forcing yourself to take in the last of his length to prove to yourself that you would do better. He groaned and tightened his grip on your hair before pushing himself inside your mouth forcefully.
“Look so pretty like this, darlin’. Ain’t seen a prettier sight than my whore crying on my cock.” He said, pulling back before pushing into your mouth again. He hit the back of your throat and it hurt, god it hurt so bad. But he kept a firm grip on you, kept you in your place so you didn’t make mistakes again.
“Sorry, darlin’. Daddy’s gotta do this. ‘s too much,” he said, before grabbing your head in both hands. He hammered into you repeatedly, handling your face like it was something he hated. You didn’t know why, but that didn’t make you feel bad. It did the opposite.
You felt good. Like you weren’t a ‘useless fucking whore’ like he had said you were a few times. You were learning like he expected you to. The first time he did this, you forced him to stop and crouched over a bush and threw up the little food you’d eaten. It still hurt to be this way, but you were getting better. You didn’t have to throw up anymore.
He grunted and groaned, let out a few expletives that would’ve made you embarrassed if you were still back in the QZ. They were words you weren’t allowed to use back there. You’d come back from FEDRA school one day, using a bad word and it set him off. He slapped you, much like Joel would slap you later for missing the shot. When you did it again a couple of months later, he slapped you more times.
It was Joel then who came to your rescue. Promising your dad that you would behave better from now, he carried you off to his apartment and tended to your wounds.
“Ohh, of fuck. F-fuuuck… Mmm, such a pretty hole. Such a good hole for me,” he praised before pulling out of you. You inched closer to him, but he pulled you back by your hair, putting you back in place. You gasped softly when something warm hit your face. You tried to move away from it, away from him. It was wrong. How ungrateful did you have to be to jerk away from him like that when he was taking care of you.
“Fuckin’— fuck. Fuckin’ take it, bitch. Take my cum,” he struggled between pants as he continued doing— doing that. The warm sticky thing came out of his cock. You didn’t know what it was, didn’t know if he was okay. It had never happened before. You panicked and held on to his legs, afraid you did something wrong to cause this.
His jaw was clenched and his eyes were screwed shut. He grunted and moaned like he was in pain.
“Daddy…” you called for him gently. When he didn’t respond, you touched his thigh and began caressing it. Slowly, gently like he sometimes did to comfort you.
“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, afraid of what you’d done to him. He leaned back on his chair, his hand still in your hair. His breathing slowed down and his fingers massaged your scalp, making you feel good.
“Why’re you apologizing, pretty girl?” He asked, making you sigh in relief.
“I— I don’t— this,” you said, pointing to your face that held the white thing that came out of him. “And you looked like you were in pain.”
He chuckled and looked down at you, before cupping the cheek that didn’t have any of the white thing on it. “You really are so dumb.”
“I’m sorry, Daddy,” you blurted out, not even knowing what you’d done this time.
“I wasn’t in pain. I was feeling good.”
“Really?”
“Mhmm… I know your dad did a lot for ya; you’re his whole world. So it only matters to you when you feel good. But sometimes I need to feel good, too.”
“What makes you feel good?” You asked, desperate to learn, desperate to do for him what he did for you.
“It really helps to have a pretty girl. And you’re a pretty girl, ain’t you?”
“Yes, Daddy.”
“Good, good. ‘s long as ya know. Pretty girls like you, you have three holes. It’ll make a man feel good. Just like when I put my cock in your face hole to make you feel good.”
“M-my mouth?” You asked, looking up at him with curiosity. You’ve never heard of it being called that… It felt strange, but you weren’t going to protest. He knew best. Just as your dad told you before sending you out. Joel knows best. Do what he says, no objections.
“Yeah. This pretty mouth,” he said, brushing his thumb over your lips. “When I make you feel good with my cock, I feel good too. But only if you’re a good girl. Only if you do as I say. You did good today, darlin’. You thought of me too instead of being the selfish bitch you always are.”
You surged at the praise, happy that you’d finally learned. Finally did something good for him instead of taking and taking and taking like a selfish bitch.
“And I know you wanna learn. So keep being good like this, okay?”
You nodded.
“Keep being good and I’ll teach you about your other holes.”
“Thank you, Daddy…”
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lokisprettygirl · 6 months
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Brokenhearted (Daemon Targaryen x Female Reader) (Non Canon Modern AU) (18+)
Read Chapter 16 here // Series Masterlist
Chapter 17
Summary : On your birthday Daemon gives you something you really wanted.
Warning: 18+, Smut, Sex, degradation kink, violent thoughts, stalking, Abusive relationship, mention of rape, kidnapping, ptsd, toxic masculinity, gender norms, sexual abuse, Samantha, traumatic distressing content, Daemon is a big time smoker so if it’s something triggering don’t read it, alcohol drinking, mention of past trauma and therapy, cigarette smoking, possessive behaviour, violence, baby needs therapy, baby is trying
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Daemon woke up to you sniffing as quietly as you could so he immediately turned around towards you and found you soaked in tears, just like always he immediately had his arm around and pulled you closer to him carefully to not hurt you.
"Darling I'm right here, you're okay love" he turned the lights on as he placed your head on his chest,
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you"
"You should be sorry but not for waking me up when you're feeling this way" his eyes teared up as well because your sobbing only intensified.
"Nightmare?" You shook your head as he questioned, you'd rather have a nightmare than the physical pain you were feeling right now.
"No…my leg hurts"
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Doctor said it will happen sometimes but it hurts so much"
"I know sweet thing, you need a painkiller..let me get one for you"
He quickly got up and made you sit up as well so you could take your medication, after that he was back in the bed and he leaned against the headboard so you could put your head down on him and rest, he was watching you like a hawk, his fingers ran through your hair and once in a while he kissed you as tenderly as it was physically possible for him.
The moment the pill started to kick in you started to feel embarrassed about the situation.
"You can go to sleep baby" you told him meekly, making him grumble in response.
"I'm alright"
Everytime he felt conflicted whether he was doing the right thing or not, something like this happened and reminded him why he was doing it. You could have died, his sweet innocent angel that never meant harm to anyone could have lost her life just because of that evil, vicious woman and her obsession with him, you have been in pain and tears for weeks now, all because of her and he won't let that slide so easily.
He won't let her go until she suffers all the pain and torment she had put you through.
"I love you" you mumbled softly so he smiled and grabbed your chin with his fingers to turn your head up and then he kissed you.
"Love you" he murmured against your mouth before he planted another kiss. And then another.
It's been three days since you have had your doubts confirmed that Daemon was hiding something from you but every time you built the courage to confront him about it something like this happened. Sweet moments where you got see the man you fell in love with, your man that you knew only wanted to take care of you and love you.
You had no idea what he was hiding but you feared what you'd find if you were to dig deeper. You didn't want to lose him again, you didn't think you'd recover completely if you were to lose him again. He loved you and you just hoped whatever he was hiding wouldn't cost you him or this precious relationship with him.
"Can I get a cigarette?" He pulled away slightly to look at you at the request, he knew you smoked occasionally but you have never asked for it before so he was a bit surprised.
"Why?'
"Just gimme"
He chuckled as you said that.
"Just the one yeahh?" He said to you sternly, you resisted the urge to roll your eyes but it happened on its own.
"You're the one to talk huh"
"Heyyy..i have cut down alright?"
"I smell it on you"
"I said I have cut down..I never said I quit"
"You know it's bad for you right?"
"Yeahhhh then why are you asking me for it?"
He got back to the bed and placed the cigarette between his lips to light it up for you, you didn't understand how his lips were still so blemish free, so soft and pink and so fucking kissable.
"I just need a buzz"
"Don't we all?"
You grabbed the stick from him and as soon as you inhaled the smoke you felt your head spinning almost instantly, your back rested against the pillow as your world felt lighter all of a sudden.
"Goshhh I needed that"
He was smiling throughout the conversation, occasionally placing the Ash tray in front of you, his eyes were glued on your features.
"Remember the night you had come to the diner to see me and we shared a cigarette outside?" You asked him and he gave you his typical Daemon smile.
"I remember sharing everything that night" your face flushed as he said that.
"Well yes I was a slut for you.. but at first i really wanted to play hard to get"
"I wouldn't have chased you"
"I know..That's why I didn't even try, I saw through you"
"Clever girl"
Once the pain was gone completely he made you lie down again and he turned the lights off before he got next to you, his body was turned towards you, he never thought he'd ever see a day where he'd miss cuddling someone again, in that moment he didn't crave a cigarette, he only craved your body completely submerged into him but he knew he'd have to be patient to enjoy such a pleasure again.
"Darling?" Hs mumbled softly as his thumb caressed your cheeks,
"Mmmm"
"You know why I came back to see you that day?"
"Because you wanted to fuck me?" he chuckled as you said that and it made you smile in response.
"Well that too"
"Why did you come dae?"
"I don't really know. I just felt a pull, as if I had to see you..I wanted to make sure you were being safe"
"That's so romantic" you mumbled giddily as you linked your fingers with his.
"But my actions were not"
He heard you humming as you were drifting into the slumber again but he was wide awake now and he was thinking about you, thinking about every little thing you did that made his heart swell, even just the way you held onto his hand in your sleep was making him feel all warm. He smiled and kissed your forehead before sighed deeply and tried to fall asleep.
"I'd have chased you darling..I'd have chased you"
On your birthday, Daemon went all out to make it memorable for you. When you woke up, you were greeted with a bouquet of your favorite flowers and a few presents, calling it a few was a bit of an understatement though. After that the day was filled with plenty of pampering and love.
To top it off, it was also the opening of the new diner-turned-restaurant, and Daemon had hired a professional makeup artist to help you look your absolute best. He knew how down you had been feeling lately, and wanted to make sure everything was perfect and to your liking. Tonight, he wanted to show you a good time and help you forget about the accident and the pain that came with it.
Once you were ready he stepped inside the room and he couldn't take his eyes off you, the red and black dress that he had bought for you hugged your curves perfectly and the makeup only enhanced your natural beauty.
"Birthday girl in her glory" you smiled as he walked towards you and helped you stand up.
"I hate the cast Daemon" you looked down and placed your head on his chest so he wrapped his arms around your waist.
"It's not fun i know..just a few more weeks and you'd be good as before i promise" you smiled as he tried to comfort you.
"Mmm thank you for doing all of this for me baby" he shook his head as you said that and leaned down to kiss you.
"My silly girl"
He took you to the restaurant first to show you the place you'd be coming back to once you're completely healed, it was bustling with a crowd already and you couldn't wait to come back to work here.
After that you thought he'd take you out to a nice dinner but he surprised you with a private party instead, your face was one of wonder as you met not just your friends but also your parents there. He had flown them in especially for the occasion, you didn't know what you had done to deserve all of this but you felt happy nonetheless, happier than you have been in a long time. While everyone was dancing he walked towards you and got on his knees to match your level since you were lounging on a chair. It's not that you had other choices.
"Do you remember my last birthday?" you asked him so he smiled, he remembered the day as clear as today..
"Yeah you forced me to dance and then I jabbed a bloke in the face" you giggled as he said that.
"You punch everyone that looks at me wrong"
'"And i would never stop" he kissed you softly.
"Argghhh i want to dance but I can't"
"Hmmm I'm sorry baby"
"No I'm sorry I'm being such a downer" you whined as you placed your head down on his shoulder.
"You're bound to feel that way darling.. want to go home with me in an hour?"
"Yesss please" you kissed his forehead and he helped you stand up to get you back to your own birthday party.
You stayed for an hour before you said goodbye to everyone and he drove you back home with him, on the way back home one of his hands was constantly between your legs as he held onto your thigh, not in a sexual manner but you couldn't stop getting turned on as his thumb continued to swirl over your bare skin.
Once home he sat you down on the edge of the bed so you looked up at him intently and he leaned down to kiss you, deeply and passionately, as soon as you felt his sensual touch against your skin you realized that this is what you have been missing all day long.
"Make love to me dae" he pulled away to look at you as you said that but before he could say anything you spoke again "Can't deny me today..it's my birthday..i need a personal present"
"Minx"
He took his coat off and you started to unbutton his shirt as quickly as you could with one hand but he grabbed your hand.
"Easy there birthday girl ..I'm not going anywhere"
He pressed a kiss on the back of your hand before he made you lie down on the bed.
"Didn't I tell you how gorgeous you looked today?"
"Mmmm you didn't have to ..i could tell by the way you looked at me"
Well he couldn't take his eyes off you even for a moment, that was the truth but he was hoping you hadn't noticed.
"You beautiful beautiful thing"
You tucked his hair behind his shoulders as he leaned over you to kiss you.
"You are pretty too..so very pretty" you mumbled as you played with his lustrous silver locks.
"Nobody has ever said that to me" he chuckled so you raised your head up to kiss him.
"Well you should go on the internet more often"
"I'd rather not do that..they don't know me..you do..you think I'm pretty with all my faults"
He carefully lowered your underwear down then he slipped his arm underneath you to unzip your dress, taking your dress off would have been a task and besides he really enjoyed the view of your straps loosening over your shoulders and the sensuous cleavage almost spilling out of the fabric.
"Can you get naked please?" You asked him so he smirked before he kissed you again and got on his knees, his eyes stayed on yours as he slowly pulled the shirt out of his pants and unbuttoned them one by one.
You bit on your lips as his half naked body came into your view.
His actions were deliberately slow, he wanted you to enjoy this. Looking down for a second he unbuttoned his pants and pulled the zipper down, cock sprang out all hard and erect, demanding your full attention.
He got off the bed to take off his pants, those thick muscular thighs flexed with every movement and they filled your head with such indecent mages, you wanted to ride every inch of his body until he was covered in the wetness of your desires .
You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn't even him notice him getting back on top of you, you only got back to your senses when you felt his hands roaming all over your thighs, he pulled your dress up to your torso and his fingers began to play with your dripping cunt,
"Daemon?"
"Yes baby"
He has never called you that before, never ever in the past one and half years that you have known him.
"Mmm I was going to make a filthy request and then you called me that" your voice came out all whispery which turned him on even more if that was possible.
"Filthy huh? What do you need? Tell me..baby" you gulped as he questioned you. You missed the other side of him.
"I want you to… degrade me"
He looked at you intently as you said that, a bit surprised by the request.
"How degrading?"
"Mmm the way you used to.. when you used to fuck me before..I loved that"
"Mmmm i thought you wanted me to make love to you, I was going to go all soft on you"
"You were always soft even when you said filthy words to me"
"Was I?"
"Mmmm please..i love you"
"Remember the safeword?" He asked you softly as he kissed your forehead so you nodded.
He collected your wetness onto his fingers and rubbed it all over his cock before he slipped inside you slowly, your brows creased at the insertion, it's been a while and he wasn't exactly average in size.
"Goshhh you're so big"
"Nuhuh.. you're just tiny my love, i own the tightest little cunt"
Your head rolled back as his cock stilled deep inside you.
"You own me sir..I'm all yours"
He placed his forearms right next to your head, trapping you completely underneath him, your left hand was useless so you placed your right one over his tricep and clutched onto him.
You didn't have one drop of alcohol today but you felt immensely intoxicated at that moment. He was worried about impregnating you but you were still on your pills and you both needed the raw, skin to skin fucking tonight. It's been a torturous past few months.
"My wounded little bird, you look so broken but you don't desire my care right now do you?" He asked you in a mocking tone,
"Mmmm Nooo"
"Then what do you want little whore ..tell me..speak your mind"
You gasped as his fist grabbed locks of your hair and he pulled on them enough to give you a sensational sting,
"Your cock please…move ..fuck me and tell me what a bad girl I'm being right now" you mumbled softly and it made him snicker.
"Ohhh you're a bad bad girl sweetheart, you shouldn't be doing this you know that but you can't go a day longer without my cock deep inside you..can you?"
"Noooo i need you so bad right now, it's aching..it hurts and only you can heal me" your eyes teared up as you spoke and it only fueled his desires further, stronger, deeper.
"Such a needy, pilant cunt ..you feel this don't you? My cock so deep inside you, stretching you out so wide you can't even breathe properly"
His hips thrusted in and out of you harshly as he spoke, finger let go of your hair and he placed them over your lips to spread your lipstick, as your tears ran down he used them to smudge those smoke eyes of yours, he wanted you to look completely fucked by the end of it all.
"Goshhh dae..oh god..keep going..don't ever stop" as soon as the words left your mouth he stopped, ofcourse, he grabbed your chin between his fingers before he spoke again.
"Mmmhm adorable cumsluts like you shouldn't make demands, they should only follow commands. So don't you ever think that you can boss me around in bed you hear me?" His voice was firm as if he was correcting the behavior of a petulant child.
"Mmmmm yesss I'm sorry..so sorry I'm so dumb"
"Don't overestimate yourself my sweet whore, you're not just dumb. You're the most pathetic girl for craving such a treatment"
Your walls clenched around him as he degraded you with his words, you were so close to cumming around him, he picked up a slow pace, teasing you with every thrust of his hips and the moment your eyes rolled back in your head he knew you won't be able to hold any longer,
"Look how easy you are to please, go on now.. be the filthy little slut i have known you to be since the day one and fucking cum around my cock"
And you did, he held onto your waist as your body convulsed underneath him, he didn't want you to hurt yourself or pull a muscle in throes of passion you were feeling at the moment, your body felt limp and relaxed but your mind felt completely hazy.
You didn't know what it was but you didn't want him to be rough anymore. Maybe it was just the hormones or the medication you were on or the frustration you felt because of the immobility. The fact that he was hiding something from you.
Or maybe it was the amalgamation of all those things that made you want to be held and cherished again. You didn't have to say the safeword, when you looked at him so lovingly he just knew you needed another side of him now so he leaned into you to kiss you before he cupped your cheeks.
"What is it baby..talk to me"
"Just …love me again please..I'm sorry I'm being this way today..I don't know what's wrong with me"
You sobbed as you spoke to him and it rendered his heart, he felt angry, so raged because he knew you felt hopeless at times since the accident, he knew that you feared you'd never heal again or walk again or be able to cook again. All of this was happening because of her and he knew he'd take all this anger out on her the very next day.
"Silly precious girl, you're all perfect.. nothing is wrong with you..shhh now ..I'll make you feel good i promise "
He wiped your tears before he kissed you again and at the same time his hips started to roll, making you lose your senses when you were barely recovering from the last orgasm.
"You'd never leave me .. promise me you'd never ever leave me again "
"Shhhhh I'm here, I'd always be here now..as long as you'd have me..I promise" he assured you.
Your arm circled around his neck and you hid your face between the crook of his neck as he picked up his pace, his lips continued to place soft kisses on your neck, fingers caressed your scalp, mouth mumbled whispers of sweet nothings until you had forgotten everything for a moment.
"You're my prettiest girl, my most precious angel..my strongest girl..i love you my darling..my sweet y/n..ohhh darling" he cried out your name as his orgasm sneaked on him when you suddenly clenched your walls around him as tightly as you could,
He was going to make you all better, make you happy the way you used to be before she ruined it. He collapsed next to you so you turned your head to look at him, there was a smile on your face, he was so beautiful, you could have watched his post coitus self for eternity like this.
"Feeling better?" He propped himself on his elbow and tapped your nose with his fingers as he questioned you.
"Mhmmmm sorry about the meltdown..this was the best birthday i have ever had.. nobody has ever made me feel the way you do my sweet dae dae and when I met you the first time i never thought we'd get here..that I'd ever get to have you like this"
He has changed so much in the past year, he wasn't the same reclusive man who didn't say a word to you unless the intentions behind those words were sexual.
He smiled and leaned down to kiss you lovingly before he got off the bed and proceeded to clean you both up one by one. He put on a fresh pair of underwear on you before he made you sit up and took your dress off carefully to put a nightgown on you. Normally you preferred to shower after sex but you didn't have the energy to go through the saran wrapping process, even though he looked really adorable wrapping you up in it.
"Can you take my makeup off please" you asked him sweetly so he looked at you before he went to your dresser and rummaged through your drawer.
"Ummmm what exactly I'm looking for" he finally asked you after fidgeting for a moment and his nervousness made you chuckle, it was a rare sight indeed.
"Look for a pack of cleansing wipes. ..it must be there somewhere"
"Got it"
You slept like a baby that night but waking up the next morning you didn't find him next to you. Sally was there instead to help you with your morning routine. Once you were back in bed again you called Daemon and he told you he was at the center but for some reason you didn't believe him, your instincts told you that he was not telling the truth.
Only one person could have cleared your doubts so you called Viserys and when he informed you that Daemon wasn't there your heart felt anxious like never before. You didn't want to jump to conclusions so you asked him if he had any other work related meetings but Viserys didn't think that was the case either.
Your questions had raised a few alarms for him as well, Daemon had been really secretive about Samantha lately, Alison told him that whenever she talked to her on call she felt weird as if she was scared of something that couldn't share..she was also refusing to meet Alison for weeks now. Viserys knew that he had to find out the truth before his brother got himself into a sort of trouble he won't be able to escape.
Daemon was at his condo preparing the worst concoction he could imagine, he made a soup that sure was edible but he knew it would taste horrible..he forgot to add salt after all. As he entered the room he found her crying and it made him smile, she hasn't eaten in a day, she must be starving he thought.
He sat down on the bed and she wasn't struggling anymore, she wasn't hurling abuses at him either, she was just staring at him with a cold blank look in her eyes, a look he was familiar with, he saw the same look in his eyes every time he looked in a mirror for all those years when he was with her.
He put the bowl of soup down on the dresser before he took his shirt off and then he proceeded to shove a spoonful of saltless soup into her mouth which made her gag but she was so hungry she didn't even care.
"Do you remember the night you gave me this ugly scar?" He asked her as he pointed towards the big scar over his right shoulder,
"I remember you crying like a baby because you couldn't take it like a man" she smirked at him and it made him smile even more. He won't allow her words to reach him anymore "You think you're a big tough man now? We both know the truth sweet boy, you'd always be the pathetic spineless man that I knew before..I just wanted to make a strong man out of you but alas you would never be a real man" she laughed like a witch so he smiled for a moment before he splashed the hot soup right on her face. She screamed as she felt the stinging sensation burning her skin and eyes.
"You fucking bastard"
He got up and put his shirt back on again before he smiled sweetly and leaned over her, she immediately started to struggle against her chains to hurt him but he was unreachable.
"You know why I asked you if you remembered that day?" She didn't answer the question but that didn't stop him from speaking his mind "I was going to propose that night, I was going to ask you to marry me, everything you did to me before that was still not enough of a lesson for me i guess but then you stabbed me with a knife, a fucking knife, in the name of love you shoved a knife inside me" her eyes welled up at the knowledge, there was a genuine look of shock on her face for once, she could have hooked him forever, she should have done that only.
"Why are you telling me all this you little pansy ass bitch" she spat at him so he chuckled.
"So you know that I'm very grateful for that night and what you did to me" she looked at him confused as he said that so he clarified what he meant "So thankful that you finally opened my eyes and made me believe in the evil that was always there in you, thank you Samantha" he leaned down and kissed her forehead.
"Daemon please baby we can fix this i promise..I'll change you know I'll change " she started crying again and that's exactly what he wanted to see today, he wanted her to cry and wallow in pain, he was on a treacherous path, he knew with every passing day this was growing and turning personal instead of it being just about bringing you justice.
He didn't want to stay near her at all after that, he wanted to go back home to you but then he heard his main door opening and his heart stopped beating momentarily.
Samantha heard it too so she started to scream for help and he didn't even have time to shut her up. The worst part was that he knew who it was, only one person had the key to his condo. You.
So when he turned around to look , he finally saw you and Viserys standing at his bedroom door with the look of horror on your faces but that didn't really bother him, it wasn't the look on your face that made him loathe himself again, it was the disappointment in your eyes.
He knew he'd lose his worth now, he knew you'd never feel proud of him again after witnessing the cruelty he was capable of. He knew you'd never love him the way you did until now. Why would you love a monster like him?
😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔
Note : Is the gif too sinful or what? 👀
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admirxation · 7 days
Text
unfaithful | leon kennedy oneshot
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pairing: older!leon s. kennedy x fem!reader (afab)
summary: the reader cheats on their partner with their partners dad, leon.
disclaimer: this fic will deal with sensitive topics like cheating. this is a piece of fiction and i do not condone everything i write, cheating is a horrible thing to do and you should always communicate with your partner and shouldn’t hurt them. this is just fictional where real people cannot get hurt, cheating irl has its consequences and reflection of you as a person.
cw: slight mention of an age gap (both parties of age//18+), cheating (mentioned partner is gn), oral (f receiving), nipple pinching & sucking, neck kissing & biting, fingering, begging, p in v, edging, praising, unprotected sex and creampie.
word count: 2.4k
a/n: this was the most voted wip that people wanted posted so i have delivered, im thinking of either working on my krauser wip or a gortash x durge (bg3 oneshot) alongside the perpetual chase. please engage if you like this and check my pinned post for any info on me or writing status, mwah mwah mwah xoxo
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Another night in your partner’s room, lying on the soft covers as you watched their face as they drifted into a dream world, unaware of all surroundings — unaware of your unfaithfulness. You were thankful for how much of a heavy sleeper they were, watching as their messy hair framed their face, the occasional strand neatly dangling in the middle of their forehead; you could tell they were content, the perfect opportunity to fulfil a long-concealed secret. This was routine now; you would wait for your partner to fall asleep first, guaranteed if you could sneak a bit of caffeine before bed without them knowing, but more times than not, the adrenaline of knowing you were going to be with Leon helped you wait for them to fall asleep.
You knew Leon — your partner’s father — was waiting, so you slowly moved to enter the room of routinely secrets. You couldn’t stop thinking about him whenever you went over, having to wait every night for some fun. Leon was the one who started all of this; he was the one who watched you intently every time you came over; these looks that started the deceit. You continued to watch your partner as you tiptoed out of your bed and moved to the door where you always left a smidge open so the latch never made a sound, praying the floorboards wouldn’t creek and releasing slow and deep breaths when slipping away. While walking outside the room, you always had an excuse prepared, just in case they had awoken; it ranged from getting a glass of water, going to the bathroom, or even getting a snack. There was a part of your conscience that kicked in and made your heart feel heavy for a moment, but like every single time, excitement and adrenaline overrode your morality and helped you continue your route to Leon.
You and your partner had only been dating for a few months — meeting each other at college — but there was something off with them. The first night you laid together and shared each other’s bodies, you were expecting to feel excited, elated, and lovestruck, but you felt unfilled, even empty, after it was done. You thought this was just a one-time thing where you needed to get used to each other, but it kept happening; no matter how many new things you introduced, you only felt religion when you shared an intimate moment and tried to avoid it — but you never dared to express how you were truly feeling. You thought maybe it was a sign of your body rejecting them, telling you that you weren’t supposed to be together, but you tried to silence and push rationality away into an unconscious that would only intrude on an absent thought or dream. You knew you were a bad person; you never tried to twist this into you being the good guy, but you also had a selfish desire not to push them away, afterall they stopped your loneliness for a while. It was selfish, deceitful, every word in the book to describe this, but being with them was the ticket to a distraction for you and the route to Leon’s bedroom.
You felt the carpet against your feet as you made slow and calculated steps that inched closer and closer to Leon’s door, which was already opened a crack — the perfect signal of invitation. As you pressed your hand on the wooden door, you remembered when you first met your partner’s family. They were friendly and welcoming, and you were happy to be accepted in the family, but Leon was not just giving you the friendly and welcoming looks; no, his stares were a look of longing and lust as he stared at your frame, visually objectifying and seeing you as a vision of temptation. When you first met him, you admitted to yourself in a thought or two that he was a very attractive older man who presented himself well and even had that alluring mystery and darkness that made everyone want to get to know him, to break away that tough exterior front. The night you met him, you felt a tingling within your stomach that continued every time you shared a night. Still, that night, you two were in the kitchen, starting a suggestive conversation that turned to intimate touches on your thighs, then your waist, him whispering every compliment and dirty thought into your ear — and it only continued from there.
You quickly moved to close the door behind you and quietly locking it, releasing a heavy breath inside you as you sneaked around. Eventually, you turned to look at Leon; he was sitting in only his boxers, like he always would, looking at you up and down with the same playful and expecting smirk that would wait for your arranged nights together.
“Thought we agreed at 3 am?” he showed you his phone, showing the time was 3:15, playfully teasing you about your poor time management.
“They were taking forever to sleep,” you said, moving onto the bed beside him. Leon then pressed his hand on your thigh, starting an early tingle of excitement within you, “You know that I do come to your room… Eventually. When have I ever backed out?”
You both kept a whispered hush in your tone of voice, secrecy adding to the thrill that would conquer the guilt that momentarily manifested inside of you, but never Leon, from the seems of it. Leon continued to graze his fingers on the soft plush of your inner thigh, moving his fingers further upwards to your tingling and expecting core before tucking the tips of his fingers under the band of your underwear, using his free hand to place them on your cheek, his thumb grazing on your cheek to admire your beauty before he leaned in for a sweet kiss. A kiss that grew in passion, movement, and speed as he moved from your soft lips and made his way to your neck to place tender kisses, closing your eyes as you released your deep breaths and felt Leon’s soft lips and warm breath on your delicate skin.
“What’s wrong with you?” he asked as you were a little hesitant in your movements, “Are you not feeling up to it tonight,” he said in a deep, silky voice.
“Nothing… Just a moment of guilt,” you confessed.
“I think you should be over this guilt… Face it… You’re mine now, you won’t be going back to them… Now, be a good girl,” he placed his hands on the hem of your shirt, waiting for your answer before taking it off.
“True,” Leon smirked at your acceptance, removing your shirt and throwing it to the floor, now met with your perfect frame and naked upper body for him to admire.
He gently pushed you onto the bed, your back feeling the cold soft covers, then a sensation of warmth from Leon as he climbed on top of you, his knee tucking underneath your left knee and moving to separate your legs as he placed himself neatly in the middle, leaning in to continue kissing your neck. You released laboured breaths and soft moans as he nestled his soft lips on the skin of your neck, occasionally biting you, sending a thrill coursing through your body and grabbing onto him a little harder from the sudden but frequent surprise. Moving lower and placing sweet and small kisses as he moved to your exposed breasts, using his tongue to swirl around your erect nipple, his hand giving attention to the other as he squeezed the bud as he licked and sucked the other.
“Fuck,” you released in a hushed whisper, arching your back the harder he would have fun with your body, that previous guilt melting away as you closed your eyes and let Leon take you into a sea of concupiscent sensations, “mmmhh,” you continued to share your thrill through the exchange of noise.
“Such a beautiful girl,” he said in that deep, rich tone that growled possession over you, the voice that made you forget every moral and every memory of your partner. You were Leon’s for tonight and every other time he desired you.
He moved his hand down from your breast, sliding it down your torso, making his way to your already pulsating core that was getting wet just waiting for Leon, his fingers now at your clothed pussy, him smirking with already being able to feel the damp patch, rubbing circles before removing the clothed barrier, dragging your damp pants down your legs and carelessly dropping it on his bedroom floor. You gasped at the contact of his flesh on your centre, causing you to instinctively grind onto his fingers; he looked at you with that lustrous darkness in his eyes as he gently slid his index finger along your folds, teasing you with only the tips of his fingers, asking for entrance then shying away; he continued this and played with your expectations, getting harder the more you held your breath ready for his entrance.
“P-please, Leon… Please,” you begged.
He smirked once more before gently sliding his large fingers inside your wet pussy, your walls of warmth surrounding them and causing his cock to twitch inside his pants as he saw you squirm under his control and the feeling of your heat; he moved them in and out, keeping a steady rhythm before picking up the pace, making you release laboured and deeper breaths. He watched your pussy, hungrily as you closed your eyes and bit your lip, clutching to your bed covers as he roughly manipulated your senses.
“Such a beautiful girl,” he said under his breath, making you blush and feel warm as he complimented you and made you feel like your body belonged under Leon’s.
He watched you intently as he continued to ram his fingers inside you, watching your chest rise and collapse under your breathing patterns, waiting for when you were going to release yourself; just as you were about to release, your eyes rolled to the back of your head, seeing a blurred vision — but then it all stopped. Disappointed, you opened your eyes and looked at Leon, hungry for more. You were disappointed when you were so close; it felt cruel not to allow you that sweet release.
“Don’t worry, sweetheart… I won’t leave you like that,” he cooed as he lowered himself to have his face align with your wet pussy; he felt his hard cock press against the bed.
He teased you with small licks along your slit, causing a shiver to run down your spin, biting your lip as you waited for more; Leon then pressed his lips on your puffy clit, sucking the sensitive bud that made your squirm under his manipulation, your unfaithfulness was something your forget about with the waves and tides of pleasure and sensation. His fingers went back inside to feel your walls as he continued to suck and pump his fingers, you clenching onto the covers again. But he stopped again just as you were grinding your hips into his mouth.
He loved to toy with you.
You saw that smirk he had as he raised himself and took his pants off, revealing his hard and throbbing erection that was begging to be inside of you; you blushed and felt a wave of warmness slide within your body before he pressed his tip along your slit, teasing you more and more with pressing only the head inside you, then moving out. In and out, he continued, and a jolt of arousal spiked within Leon as he saw your expecting face and your disappointment every time.
“How much do you want me?”
“S-so much, p-please… I want you so bad,” you whimpered.
“Come on, sweetheart; you can beg a little better than that… Start again,” he continued to slightly move his hips as he teased you with the tip of his large cock.
“J-j-just fuck me… Please, I’m all yours; just do it already,” you continued to beg, feeling agitated and wanting to feel what you had come over for; you liked and hated how much control he had over your desires.
Leon loved how much control he had over you; you were his; you were only your partners in social titles, but your body was connected with Leon, and he hoped you would remain connected through your need and desire to be consumed by your appetite for him and his body. Just when he had felt like you begged him enough, proved you wanted, no, yearned for him, he forcefully rammed his length inside of you, causing you to release a high-pitched yelp and the causation of your eyes squeezing shut as you tried to grow accustomed to his length.
“Shhh, shh, shh, not a sound out of that pretty little mouth of yours… We don’t want them to know,” he cooed to you as he placed his rough, calloused hands on your waist and thrusted himself inside your cunt.
“Mmmh,” you continued, moaning and trying to keep your level of noise to a minimum, not wanting the night to be interrupted by the secret being known.
You felt the tip of Leon’s cock kiss your cervix, feeling like it was getting bruised with his handling of you and the length that he pumped inside and out. Immoral unfaithfulness felt so good; it was wrong, and this shouldn’t happen, but it all slipped away when Leon had his way with you. Lost in your sensations when giving your body to him freely and letting your walls clasp around his member, an intimate embrace that begged for Leon never to stop and never to leave you wanting more.
The room was full of the sound of your sweet moans, Leon’s deep and laboured breaths as he pumped himself deeper and deeper into your sweet pussy.
“Fuck, you’re such a good girl for me, aren’t you?” he continued to praise you, watching as your tits bounced with every thrust he pounded into you; he saw you as a vision of beauty and temptation he needed to indulge himself into every time he was in your presence.
Just as he was lost in his admiration for you, you rolled your eyes to the back of your head, squeezing your eyes shut as you bit your soft bottom lip, gripping your hands on his arms as he continued to fuck you senseless, finally being able to release that built up arousal from him constantly teasing you. He could tell by how your body tensed up and how your face seemed like it drifted off into another world; he took this as an invitation to release a pool of warmth inside you, leaving you both to gasp for air as you finished and left to process how good it was to share each other’s company.
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siredtoyourlips · 7 months
Text
The Honeymoon Never ends D.DxF!r
Summery~ When Daryl walks in on the reader practically naked he can't keep his hands off his wife. ( Read the Warnings before you read)
1.1k words
Warnings~ Smut, sweet!Daryl, horny!Dayrl, husband!Dayrl, p-in-v, brief fingering, breading kink, talk of children, kissing, teasing, praise, hint at degradation, dirty talk, reader calls Daryl Daddy, swearing, Daryl is lowkey possessive, love making, sweet sex, pet names, Dayrl being cocky, Daryl being a thigh man, hickies, aftercare, age gap, reader is in her 20's and Dayrl is in his 40's.
PSA~ I hate reading my work so it's probably not the best🫥
I found this group, there were all kinds of different people. Some were nice and some were not. I met this lovely woman named Carol, she had the most beautiful daughter and most cruel husband. Then Carl and Lori and Rick, who was a cop and his best friend Shane.
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Before everything I was no one, I was a girl who didn't know where my life was going and honestly didn't care. I was quiet and shy and never did anything. I never dared to. Then the apocalypse happened and suddenly everything came at me all at once. my first encounter with a walker was in my kitchen in the middle of the night. I froze and almost died right then and there. Could have gone better.
Then there was him Dayrl, He was mean, and rough and cruel but over time he warmed up to some people like Rick who took care of those of us who were left. And Carol who was basically his best friend and mine. And then there was me, He became so nice and sweet to me. One day while we were living in a prison and we were all really tired he just kept asking me if I was all right. I didn't understand why until later he kissed me. I thought I was imagining it but I wasn't because I kissed him back. Since then I've never let him go and he's never let me either.
That brings me here now. In Alexandria a year after Dayrl asked me to marry him and two months after I did. When he was out with Carol and I was in our room. Getting dressed
I was trying to find an outfit to where since most are dirty. I was completely naked besides my panties. 'You look so pretty baby' Dayrl said in his thick accent which I love so much. ' I have to get dress Dar' I said as he carreses my thighs. ' for what? hm. what do you have to do? sit down and look pretty for me?' he says right into my ear and his hand goes higher and higher up my leg. ' I wan' the day with my wife and that's what I'm I plan to do'. I moan when be places kisses all down my neck and says ' Carol is taking my shift doll I get you all to myself'.
He turns me around and walks backwards with his tongue down my throat until I hit the back of the bed a fall onto it. He doesn't take a break from Kissing me for what seems forever. God he's so hot. When he finally does stop it's to take off his clothes. All I wanna do is kiss his beautiful body but he won't let me up. He finally takes his boxers off and his cock springs up. It's so red and leaking with precum and it always stands so tall.
'Whatcha lookin' at baby' he asks as your checks become pink but you don't care, you both know what you want and even if you wanted to say anything you don't have time before he's pulling your panties down and kissing up your leg making sure to leave marks that he only he will be able to see. When he finally gets to where you need him he picks his head up and you grind over nothing. ' No dar, please don't stop'. you say and you swear his eyes get a shade darker as he says ' Who does this pussy belong to?' God I love when he acts like this you thougt. 'You, Only you' and the second you say that his mouth is on your clit and his fingers and inside you.
'No. no, Stop' you say and he looks so confused. 'What' he says and you sit up on your elbows and say ' I want your cock please' and he just has the biggest smirk ever before he gets in between your legs and pushes them apart before he pushes into you and gives you a minute to adjust to him until you nod. The second that you give the ok He starts fucking you and it feels so good ' Holy shit Daryl. Kiss me' and he doesn't hesitate, the second you say it his lips and on yours 'faster please' and he backs up says 'you sure?' and you nod. And he goes faster ' Fuck, Daddy'. He never gets sick of you calling him that. And he says ' Fuck, 'Wan' to make me a Daddy baby?' the second he says that your eyes are open and your moaning " yes, yes, yes, please I want to make you a daddy'.
Once you say that he's going faster and rubbing your clit and it feels so good that you don't even have time to warn him before you cum. But he doesn't stop or slow down, all he cares about is cumming in you. And after you catch your high your squeezing his cock all over again, it all just feels so good too him and he cums in you while you cum around him. and he falls on top of you.
You two lay like that for a few minutes before he pulls out and you hiss and the feeling of being empty. ' did ya really mean it' he asks. 'Yeah, I did Dar' you say giggling. ' lay down Daryl, I wanna ride you' you say and he lays down, you climb on top of him and his cum that's coming out of you is making it so easy for him to slip into you. ' shit' he mutters. " Holy shit, fuck. you feels so good' from the Overstimulation of the past two orgasms this one a coming fast and hard 'shit dar, I'm gonna cum again' then he starts sloppy thrusting into you and says ' shit, me too baby' and at that moment you both cum together.
'Hm, you ok baby?' he says to you when you fall into his chest. ' yeah, just tired asshole' and at that he just laughs and sits up with you still around him and carries you both to the bathroom. He sets you on the bathroom counter and gets a rag wet. ' no' you say sleepy and kisses your temple and says ' gotta doll, don't want anything to happen to my beautiful wife' and gently puts the rag agents your swollen cunt and cleans when he just fucked.
I can't wait until you're pregnant' He mutters. Then he picks you up and carries you to the bed. 'Sleep tight my love' he says as you fall into a deep slumber. And you sleep knowing you have the hottest, bravest, husband in the world that would do anything for you
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bitchin-beskar · 1 year
Text
Training
Rating: Explicit Pairing: College!Athlete!Roommate!Paz Vizsla x Fem!Reader (Bunny) Warnings: Cockwarming!!! That's it that's the fic! ... jk theres a little more to it. Paz has a huge dick we all know it, and boy does he know how to use it. mentioned oral (f) receiving, mentioned fingering, overstim, big dick, dirty talk, mentions of continued overstim, dick so good u wanna cry, free use arrangement. AGAIN. IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT FREE USE OR ANY OF THE OTHER THINGS ARE, YOU ARE TOO DAMN YOUNG. DO NOT READ. DO NOT INTERACT. GO AWAY. Literally Dead Dove: Do Not Eat. Exactly what it says on the package. Word Count: 2.1k A/N: Here is another oneshot in the CAR!Paz au! This came about due to an ask sent in by @catsnkooks during this fun lil sleepover weekend! Feel free to send things to my inbox this weekend (or really any time!) This was intended to be a drabble and ended up being just over 2k, so uh, yeah. It's fine. I'm fine. I just wanna thank @catsnkooks, @tailorvizsla, @firstofficerwiggles, @mysticalgalaxysalad, and all the anons who have been encouraging the thirst for this wonderful au! Also thanks to @maybege whom without I likely wouldn't have even created this au, and I'm also gonna tag @ronnieiswriting, bc they sent me a lovely little dm about this au and I finished this tonight instead of waiting as a lil treat for them! Please lemme know what you think, I appreciate all the love y'all have given this au so far!!
Gods, he was gonna split you in half.
You stood completely naked, on shaky legs, in front of Paz where he was sitting on the couch, his chest bare and his sweatpants tugged down just enough for his cock to spring free, resting against the taut skin of his stomach, flushed and weeping. He looked far too composed for a man who’d just spent the better part of an hour fucking you on his fingers and his tongue to prepare you for what he wanted you to do.
It was fucking infuriating.
It was also hot as hell.
His lips curled into a cocky smirk, as if he could read your mind. You were very pointedly trying to keep your eyes trained on his face, which was made all the more difficult when he wrapped his hand around his cock, slowly stroking himself. You couldn’t help yourself as your gaze flickered down to where his hand was wrapped around himself. Even with his own hand, he still looked disproportionately large, and not for the first time, you wondered how exactly your poor pussy was going to survive this... exercise.
“What’s wrong, bunny?” Even his voice was cocky, and even though Paz was your best friend, you felt a very strong urge to strangle him. Still, there was that little voice in the back of your head that was salivaiting at the mere thought of getting him inside you.
You were unreasonably proud at how steady you managed to keep your voice, given what your body had been subjected to and the looks he was leveling you with. “You’re not gonna fit, Paz.”
He didn’t answer right away, instead holding the hand not wrapped around his cock out to you, a silent request. You didn’t hesitate to step forwards and place your own hand in his, letting him tug you forward until you were standing inbetween his legs. Even like this, with him seated and you standing, you were looking him in the eyes. Paz was just that big.
“Don’t worry about that, bunny,” Paz said as he used his grip on your hand to encourage you to turn around, his hand moving to grasp your hip as he pulled you closer to him. You let him guide you, fingers clenching and unclenching in anticipation. He paused for a brief moment to swipe his fingers through your folds, an approving hum leaving him when he deemed you were still wet enough, before returning those fingers to his cock, slicking himself up with your release. Then, he was pulling you down, letting your weight rest mostly against his chest as he notched the head of his cock at your entrance. You sucked in a breath at the sudden pressure, but made an effort to relax.
He made a soft shushing noise, his hand helping to steady you as he began to lower you down, the pressure increasing slowly until the head of his cock was suddenly inside you. You gasped slightly at the intrusion, your thighs tensing at the unfamiliar sensation. You’d had sex before, certainly, but your ex was a much smaller man. Even your toys had never been quite this large.
“P-Paz?” You breathed, voice shaking.
He immediately paused, and you could feel as he kissed the back of your bare shoulder briefly. “Yeah, bunny?”
“W-What if… what if you… d-don’t… what if you don’t…” You trailed off, suddenly embarrased. You were likely far less experienced than his previous partners, and you wondered-not for the first time-how exactly this arrangement was going to affect your relationship with Paz.
But Paz seemed to know what you were trying to say. He tutted softly, brushing his lips against the length of your throat, his smile soft against your skin. “Don’t worry, bunny,” he murmured, starting to work you down again, his cock slowly sliding further and further into you as your mouth fell open at the stretch.
“I’ll make it fit.”
The cocksure tone of his voice made you clench, and he immediately shushed you again, placing both hands on your waist and sitting up from where he’d been lounged against the couch cushions. You made a concerted effort at relaxing again, and you slipped a little further down his length.
The sensation of being slowly stuffed full of Paz’s cock was something you honestly had never imagined you’d get to experience. It was currently defying all expectation, and you weren’t entirely sure you’d make it to being fully seated on his cock without passing out from the pleasure.
He eventually got you about halfway impaled on his cock when he seemed to hit a barrier, and you immediately winced at the uncomfortable feeling. Paz once again stopped immediately, his hands tightening slightly around your waist. You felt a keen sense of disappointment, and you suddenly felt the slight urge to cry. You’d known you weren’t going to be able to take all of him, and he was going to be so disappointed-
“I wanna try something,” he suddenly said, his tone not disappointed like you’d expected, but contemplative. “Trust me?”
You blinked, unsure as to where that was coming from, but nodded nonetheless. You probably should’ve been a bit more cautious with answering, because Paz suddenly slid his hands down from where they’d been resting on your waist to wrap his fingers around the backs of your thighs, and lifted.
A squeal of shock escaped your mouth and your hands flailed as you were suddenly supported only by his grip on your thighs and half of his cock in your cunt. He pulled your thighs apart, so your legs were no longer between his own, but dangling on the outsides of his own thighs. Pulling your legs apart like this surprisingly eased the pressure in your cunt, and he slowly began to lower you more, and your pussy greedily sucked him in.
He was completely supporting your weight with just his hands and forearms, and your brain could not comprehend the strength he must be using to hold you like this. But you couldn’t deny, it was far easier for you to take him in this position, and before you’d quite processed that, the backs of your thighs were resting on the tops of his, and his cock was completely buried in your pussy.
You sucked in a sharp breath, leaning back so your upper body was supported by his chest and you could rest your head against his shoulder. Paz stroked his hands up and down your thighs, humming appreciatively. Your own legs were trembling from the strain and effort it had taken for you to take him.
For a few moments, the two of you just sat there, adjusting to the sensations. You were honestly shocked that you’d managed to take all of him, and you felt a not insignificant amount of pride. Still, it was overwhelming to be that full, and you couldn’t help but brush your hand over your abdomen, feeling like he was in your stomach he was that deep inside you.
Paz chuckled, the vibrations jolting you slightly and shifting his cock slightly inside you, making you whimper quietly. One of his hands came up to cover yours, the size of his hand dwarfing your own.
“Can you feel me here, bunny?” At your nod, Paz pressed down slightly, and you gasped as the change in pressure made sparks of pleasure light up your nerves. “Yeah, you can. How does it feel?”
It took you a few tries to reply, your throat dry and your tongue heavy in your mouth. “I-I feel s-s-so full.” There was truly no other way to describe it, the sensation so unfamiliar but also one you were quickly coming to love.
“Hmm, I bet,” he responded, sounding far too smug and full of himself. He slowly spread his thighs, forcing your own legs further open.
With the way your legs were hooked over his thighs, and the way you were impaled on his cock, you had no choice but to let him move your body the way he wanted to. You felt your cheeks warm at how exposed you were like this, naked and spread open on his lap, even in the emptiness of your shared apartment. You tried to squirm a bit to get more comfortable, and he shifted underneath you, tilting his hips up further into yours somehow, but also easing some of the strain in your lower back as he did so.
The fullness inside of you had you clenching and unclenching, your muscles unused to this position and trying in vain to adjust. Paz didn’t seem to react, although he did wrap his arm more fully around your waist and brough his other hand up to stroke at where the two of you were joined together. Your eyes rolled back in your head as his fingers found your swollen clit, rubbing at it gently.
“P-P-Paz,” you stuttered, voice shaking violently. “P-Paz, s-so much, t-t-too m-mph!”
He’d jerked his hips slightly, just enough to barely count as pulling out before he settled back deep inside you, cutting your protests off with ease. He sped up his fingers, and you thought he might be enjoying the way you trembled uncontrollably on his lap.
“Jus’ need you to come one more time for me, bunny,” he slurred, voice low and thick in your ear. “It’ll help you take me a bit easier, don’t worry. Just gimme one more, okay? I promise it’ll help, it’ll feel so good bunny. You trust me, don’cha?”
You nodded shakily, turning your head to press your sweaty forehead against the side of Paz’s neck. “O-O-Okay, Paz.”
He pressed a kiss against the top of your head, and his fingers sped up again. You’d been on the edge since he began to fuck you onto his cock, and you honestly didn’t need much more stimulation before you were coming again with a low moan and weak twitches of your hips.
Paz hummed appreciatively, his fingers sliding through the mess you’d made between your legs and around his cock. You were tingling with overstimulation, feeling flushed and sweaty and you probably looked a mess, but it was only Paz here to judge you, and you got the feeling he didn’t mind, especially when he was directly responsible for your wrecked state.
“You did such a good job, bunny.” You preened at the words, feeling a sense of accomplishment. “Such a good girl for me, giving me another. You feel so good coming around me like that.” He paused, the silence heavy, and you abruptly felt very much like prey, like the nickname Paz had bestowed upon you implied. You didn’t have the time to contemplate it before he continued.
“I lied, bunny. I’m sorry, but you just felt so good.” His fingers trailed back up to your throbbing clit. “I wanna feel that again. Wanna feel your lil’ pussy trembling around my cock. I wanna feel you gush around me.”
You mouth fell open, and your hands tried to reach down to pull him away but he was quicker, the arm that had been around your waist coming up to grip your wrists in one huge hand, bringing them up so your restricted hands were pressed into your sternum. He tutted softly, spreading his legs just a little further and restricting your movement just that little bit more.
“We agreed on the rule, bunny. You let me do whatever I want, whenever I want. Isn’t that right?” He didn’t wait for an answer before continuing to whisper in your ear, tormenting you.
“And I wanna feel this pretty lil’ pussy absolutely strangle my cock again. I wanna feel you come and come and come until you can’t anymore. And then I wanna fill you up, wanna fill you up so full you’ll feel me dripping down your thighs for weeks. I wanna see you on campus and know you can still feel me in your fucking guts. I want you to sit with your friends and all you can think about is how I feel inside you right now. Any time a guy even fucking looks at you I want you to remember how this feels. I want you to remember how hard you came with my cock in your lil’ cunt.”
He stopped for a moment, breathing harshly in your ear as he quickly worked you towards another orgasm, and you almost couldn’t hear his next words over the uncontrollable whimpers and moans that escaped your throat as he abused your poor cunt.
“You’ll never be able to fuck anyone else and not think of me, bunny. I’m gonna fucking wreck you.”
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pascalsbby · 6 months
Text
The Devil & His Brother / II
Joel x Tommy x You
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Prologue / Part I / Masterlist
Summary: “Good, been staring out the window for far too long,” he said. “You can look at something prettier now. Close your eyes, bunny.”
He slipped around on the wetness of your lips before he parted them with one, thick finger.
“Stick out your tongue for me.”
AKA: Bath time with the Millers 😈
Word Count: 7K
Warnings: 18 + mndi, DUBCON DRUG USE: enemies to lovers, heavy talk & use of drugs/pills, morally grey Millers, slow-burn, angst/comfort/sex, age gap, power imbalance, possessive tendencies, major daddy issues (that’s why you need BOTH Miller brothers instead of 1). talk of death, shit-talking god & praying for the devil himself.
I feel like I'm sending out something so personal... and familiar in ways that I know aren't. Maybe that's how memories feel after a while.
God is fucking with my oblivion. If he wants forgiveness, he shouldn't have given us memory.
- Vi Khi Nao
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“Can’t do it, Joel.” 
“Goddamnit.” His huff was deep and bothered by your apparent inability to do anything he asked of you.
His anger didn't sit with you, but himself. He didn't really know that, though. Doesn't feel too much beneath the thickness of his skull. Hard-headed fucker.
The scent of you hung leaden in the steam-filled bathroom. Iron. Blood. Something saccharine that made him ache as he peeled your clothes from your weak skin. Lately, his temper has been short, and unbeknownst to you he hasn’t always been this way. Even in recent years. You assumed he was always like this, further etching the lines that softened on his face (only after yelling at you), but he would argue that you were acting like a little fuckin’ brat… so his snippy remarks were justified. 
"Did all the work of carryin' you here and now you're gonna off yourself? Cause you won't let me help you bathe in the only hot bath water you've seen since you were what.... sixteen? M' not that big and scary, Bunny."
You both had your own ways of dealing with things, you guessed. Verbal expression of any kind besides small, whispered sentences had been scarce. Except for when he was angry. Except for right now.
You stopped listening because suddenly nothing seemed to matter too much. It didn’t all feel so black and white; life-ending like he was making it seem, being a real grump. 
“Are you listenin’ to m–?” 
His tuneful voice now sounded hollow as it bounced off of your blurring peripheral vision. 
You didn’t answer Joel, instead, you listened to the music in your head and wondered how it got there. How you got into his arms. 
Joel called Tommy’s name after you stumbled into his warmth. You winced at his raised voice, almost breaking you from a blissful trance. “God damnit Tommy, get in here. I can’t hold her up and wash her at the same time.” Ten minutes of Joel trying to get you in the bath like you were a fucking toddler was enough. He wouldn’t be able to hold your body up and wash you simultaneously, either. It was a two-person job to do it correctly, and gently. 
Tommy returned an hour or so earlier, saying whoever had followed them had taken another way around, but they’d seen fresh hoof marks. “It’s weird Joel,” he said. 
“Fuck, I just washed these jea-“ his voice coming from down the hallway. He turned the corner, changed into clean clothes, and was taken aback by your bare chest staring back at him from underneath Joel’s veined arm. His skin burns into yours.
“What the fuck did you give her?” He was immediately angry. 
Give me? Peace. Radiating warmth, you thought. He didn’t know that you didn’t feel a lot anymore, but you knew deep down that you felt something more for Joel.
 “She’s in pain, Tommy. Only thing she’s felt in the past nine years is pain. Help me get her in here and then take off the fucking jeans then, I don’t care. Get some towels and then get in here. Don’t know how much time we have ‘fore it wears off.” Joel growled. Then you close your eyes and let go, swimming through the low buzz in between their thrown bickers.
He’d talked real sweet to you, in hopes of getting you to take a bath. Mostly because being 'somewhere else' would be best when washing your wound, away from the water gripping at your side. Another small reason was that he didn’t want to hear you mumble, “no,” again. You needed a proper bath if you were ever going to get better. Although you didn’t seem too interested in such
That must have been the extent of Tommy’s anger, because he listens exactly to what Joel says. He unlocks his leather-backed metal belt and it hits the floor in the same instance, cling. He doesn’t mention the pills again, just takes his jeans off before he turns the handles of the running bath off and assumes his position outside of it. Joel takes his own shirt off, skin soft-looking and warm. He was sweating, skin slightly glowing from the sweat reflecting the bathroom lights. You could smell him. He kept his boxers on, still maintaining a sliver of his respect. He was willing his cock to follow the same.
He sunk himself into the bathwater with a deep groan, one of relief. Tommy walked you closer and helped you climb into the bath. It burned, felt like it was boiling. You were standing in it now, between Joel’s legs, hands still enclosed in Tommy’s as he helped you keep your balance. Joel was trying not to think about how your core was aligned perfectly before him as you stood. You turned, ass swaying as you prepared to sit on his clothed lap. They both looked away as your body was fluctuating in the prettiest fucking way they’d both ever seen. 
“S’okay baby, sit down.” You bent down to hold the sides of the tub, letting Tommy go. You were spread open right in front of Joel’s face, the back of your pussy practically calling to him as it finally came in contact with his lap. 
Tommy turns around and sighs before walking out of the bathroom to fetch towels like an obedient dog. Joel shuffled you, with what would have been awkward silence between the three of you if two of you weren’t high. If one of you hadn’t just left the room.
Joel has already swallowed his dusty piece of sanctuary. You had too, in the tea he made you thirty minutes ago. He was dangling another pill in front of you, now that Tommy was out of sight. This time allowing you a choice; rather than remain silent as it swam down your throat.
"Let me help you sum’ more, baby. Gonna give you something to help the hurt. Don’t go running, an’ don't tell Tommy. He wouldn't like that I'm makin’ you feel good."
Telling Tommy would consist of more non-compartmentalized guilt and yet another thing for him to look down upon Joel for. Another bullet point to add to Tommy’s list of Reasons Joel is a Fucking Asshole. And you needed help right now. This is how he could help you. So no, he would not be telling Tommy that he fed the girl more pills, too. She was simply exhausted and needed help bathing. She was in pain and needed him; them. Tommy would have done the same, no?
He slipped around on the wetness of your lips before he parted them with one, thick finger. 
“Stick out your tongue for me.”
He notes your lack of hesitation to open your mouth for him. He places the bitter thing there, gently. 
“Swallow.” 
He smirked as you obeyed.
“You’re a’ good little thing, you know. S'good to listen and mind.” He tucked your hair behind your ear so that it wouldn’t keep falling in your face.
His drugs were now yours. His regrets, too. And he secretly hoped that his desires were burning into your body and being met with the same inner incineration. But he wasn’t regretting it right that moment. Not as he watched your body slacken. He knew your entire being was numb when you were reaching up at him, fingers looking for feeling. 
His thumb ran across the plumpness of your bottom lip and his thighs flexed inadvertently. You felt the small jerk of his body, your eyes drawn upwards meeting his. He felt the moment your breathing became deeper, slipping through his skull and resting on the center of his lust. Then he heard the teetering of the old house as it sang. He heard chatter outside, and it all sounded happy, nothing scary around. He returned to your nose, where a little black wish sat, kissing your cheek. He moved his thumb up to brush the eyelash away and whisper his own silent prayer.
You looked around his face before resting your gaze on his lips, and he knew that you were slipping deeper too. The moment ended in a split second torn into a million, and you were looking him in the eyes. Your pupils are already blown, helpless, and in need of strong arms to hold you upright. It fucking hurt. You hadn’t been so willing without the drugs. The pit of his stomach crawled in need as your back rested against it. Your ass was scooted up, and he could feel the break between your legs, could feel the warmer skin of your pussy kissing his thighs.
He loosely assumed that you’d never been in the bath with a man before, either. Probably never been naked in front of one... or two. And he knew that it shouldn’t be something he was proud of, to have you here, safe in his arms and naked in his bath. But he was. 
“Feel something?”
“Mhmm.” 
He felt your response in the tone of your flexing abdomen. His wide fingertips sink into your cushioned fat and the softness of your stretch marks. It stung, the water, like having his presence near it set it off, simmering around his body, trying to kiss anything of him that it could. The water was pretty pink for a few moments, your body releasing the hold it had on your dried blood and the dirt accompanying it. His hands were occupied by the washcloth he was softly rubbing against your body. Then it was dark, and whenever you looked down it was harder and harder to see the end of his legs, stretching out before and underneath you, holding your body (against his) up. “Fuck me.” It was he who had released that sound.
“Good, been staring out tha’ window for far too long,” he said. “You can look at something prettier now. Close your eyes, bunny.”
You did what Joel wanted of you, and quickly you fell into the heavy light buzzing right outside of yourself like your aura was bouncing off of the smoldering color... like a blanket, maybe. One of blurred confessions and soft, radiating heat. Your arms are heavier but in a slow melting comfort, and it feels like butterflies right above your hip bones crawling right towards your cunt in a low pulse. As if the energy moved and hovered itself into your underwear and is prodding its fingertips into your soaking center, touching every bit of swollen flesh as his fingers disappear into you. But he’s sitting still, you think. He is everywhere but inside of you.
Your memories lilt against your skull, retracting from any indication of themselves. Much of who you were is gone, left in dark patches of shadow and musk. Outlines of a monster (human) ((him)) setting his jaw on your shoulder from behind, willing the air to kiss that spot right under your ear. Your own blood, his sweat. The undulating sway of his plush lips and impending jaw from below. You’d only seen him this way, from below. Like he was something holy, forever above you and rarely looking down. You reach up and feel his face, running the sensitive skin of your fingertips against his stubbly chin and neck. 
-
Most of your time was spent contently sitting in your (Joel’s) favorite chair, the one you hadn't really left or released yourself from, just assuming that it had now formed to your body. Maybe you had melted into the dirty crevices, instead. You wanted nothing more than to sink into it and become a part of the worn and well-loved fabric. No one expected anything of this chair. For it to simply exist confirms its usefulness.
A week or so ago, you had been dying, pooling blood turned your skin terian-like, how the tips of your fingers used to turn in the now-cold bath. He was right– it had been years. This death doesn't feel much different. Just slower. You had been doing better before Tommy left to check the perimeters and outward land of Jackson. They didn’t know that no one would be following you. Or looking for you… needing you. Praying for you.
Joel thinks a lot about the comfort-glaze of your eyes whenever you saw Tommy that day like you’d been happy that he was there to see you off, hold your hand as you looked into the sky and deflate into the ground. He thinks about how you’d probably rather have him here, now.
Maybe that’s what you write in your notebook, still sitting in the chair, but this time with your face turned towards your lap, completely lost under the lamp every night around 10:37.
Maybe that's what is feeding into his mood.
You would have already been in that bath if Tommy were to ask you, rather than Joel. He thinks about how Tommy’s eyes lit up when he first looked into yours, hazel. Gaze flashing as if in recognition of an importance. Joel could see a hint of the brother he once knew, before his world ended. Before all of your worlds ended. He knew in that moment that something shifted for the both of you, but for Joel, it felt like drowning.
He looked at you and he saw the torn, soft skin of a small animal. He didn’t know that the damage was on the inside. 
Joel resented the way he was drawn to you, it made him viscerally angry at himself. He was angry at how calling you baby had been so easy, the way he felt his cock thicken at the sound of your grunt in agreement. Or the smell of you, even though you hadn’t bathed in god knows how fucking long. He pretended it was the drugs, but it wasn’t. These were his secrets and the web was already intertwining with itself. He almost feels like if he were to tug on it now, even more shit would fall out, come unstuck and drag him into the ground to a place where he’s surprised he isn't lying already. 
How can you hide such a carnal want? He’s unfamiliar with the feeling. Uncomfortable with it. 
What would they say? Would Tess say? “One more pussy for you to fuck, Joel? This time it's new and fresh, betcha could teach her a thing or two, huh?” Tess had always been the jealous type, Joel clocked it the first week they met. She hid it well, but you can’t hide from someone who recognizes something in you, because they recognize it in themselves, too. Joel and Tess, Tess and Joel. The town knew there was something happening between the two of them, but no one said anything. They knew Joel was her loyal guard dog.  They knew not to disturb Mr. Miller's peace. He was a kind enough man, besides that.
He was hoping for anything other than to hear the question, "You think you can save this one, too?" He knew that he couldn't. He couldn't promise your safety. However, he could sense that you were in need of it. Perhaps not obviously at first glance; you appeared tough on the surface, but there was something in your eyes that begged him, “Release me. Let me rest.” Something calling his name. He was hearing it now, in the cadence of your voice, whispering around his head as he stopped himself from touching you. 
He knew that they, you, would get him in trouble if he didn’t stop it and try to pawn it off to someone else before it (his desire) got too bad. “Hey, look, she’s with him, not me. Now let me sit and stutter into the darkness while you take the only thing that has made you feel an inch of something in the past month.”
They would chain him up if he ever admitted the level of his desires. Embarrassed at the way he was already entirely attached to you. Something about, “I almost killed you, but let me be the savior. Love me enough to let me swallow you whole,” probably wouldn’t sit too well. 
“Joel?” you questioned, slow and small. 
His skin rises instantly, stunned by your sound and the touch of your body. “What did you–?” he softly shhh’s you because suddenly, the way your body hums into his when you speak is too much. Your hand continues to fall slowly against the thicker hair near his jaw, ghosting over unsaid words and lips. His breathing was becoming too heavy for someone who was just there to be a savior. 
“Gettin’ clean feels good,” his heavy thumbs pinching deeper into skin, voice far away and muffled under yearning, drowning, “don’t it, pretty?” 
You let your arms hit the water, too tired and blissed out to hold them up longer. He chuckled and it rang through every inch of your nude being. The water splashed, and the roundness of Joel’s lower belly retracted quickly from your back, startled by the closeness of your body. You hadn’t felt it before, his whole self pressed firmly against you. The thickness of it. Your thighs oozed over his lap, completely covering him. Your feet ended at almost his mid-leg. He stretched further out in the bath ahead of you. 
Joel didn’t need a verbal response from you. Knew you couldn’t give him one anyway. He knew that he should, that’s the right way to go about this. But he had just carried you over his lap for a week, bleeding out on him, screaming. He would help you relieve yourself, too, when needed. Couldn’t pee by yourself the first couple of days. Didn’t bother him much, not after what he’d seen. He’s had much worse cross his hands. He knew the whole ride back that if you were conscious enough to know that you were still alive, you’d be embarrassed to hell that he would help you off the horse, pull your pants down, and hold you. He couldn’t understand why that had shuffled something inside of him. The point is, he’s seen it all anyway. All of you, physically at least. Now he was simply just helping you out some more. Until you could tell him to stop. It's the least he could do if he really did shoot her.
He watched as they pulled the bullet out of your side, Tommy pale-faced in the corner, shrinking. 
Joel knew you were out from the pain meds they had stuck into your veins, but that wasn’t a good enough promise that you would sit still through it, that it would be painless. 
When you hold more weight, you need a little more. 
He slipped you a little something extra before all the men got there that night to see and help. Your body was lying on his kitchen table, sweating and tired, dying. But you– you were asleep with a soft smile on your lips. He held you still, just just in case, hands pushed down into your cushioned stomach. The other was around your wrists, positioned just above your head so that the ‘doctors’ had room to move freely around your side. It was hard not to stare at a body that looked well-fed and healthy, in a world like this. Your breasts were moving softly with every movement of your body from other hands. Your hair under your arms was dark and visible in the way he was holding your hands above your head.
No one dared speak upon your body with Joel around, especially since he was the one that dragged you in here, meaning you were his property, Miller property, now. 
-
TOMMY looked away upon entering, watching Joel retreat from where he was whispering into your ear. He could hear the bass of his brother's voice, slowly echoing in the hallway. He would pretend, for the sake of his sanity, that he didn’t know exactly what was happening before witnessing it. Especially after Joel had mentioned a couple of times that you seemed closer to his age, meaning keep an eye on this one, brother. “She’d probably like ya more anyway, younger n’ more capable. Bigger name in Jackson, too.” This coming from the mouth of a man who even went as far as to say, “Coulda’ made a good wife,” three hours after shooting her.
People all deal with things differently, he guesses.
It wouldn’t be the first time that he secretly craved something that his big brother was dangling in front of him, knowing that somehow he had the advantage. But then Tommy felt guilty thinking that way. Joel had been through so much and lost too many people for Tommy to get in the way of whatever look took over your body as you sat against his chest, halfway immersed in water and looking up into Joel’s face. You looked more peaceful now than you have at any moment since stepping into this house.
“Come and try to get her, Tommy.” 
But of course, he won’t show that he yearns for you, too. It feels wrong. That Joel was the one to kill you but you were staying with him; that he was your primary safekeeper and healer. You were sitting on his lap, nipples hard and body at attention, peacefully asleep with your cheek pushed up against the hair on Joel's chest, resting in the arms of the man who nearly succeeded at killing you. 
If he were to say anything else, it would be, “I know you fucking drugged her, Joel. N’ you didn’t even give her a choice.” But he didn’t want to wake a sleeping bear, not right now. Not when you looked so peaceful and pain-free for the first time since they grabbed the world from underneath your feet. Not when the very thing Tommy could not stop thinking about was lying on the bear’s chest. 
-
YOU can feel yourself between your legs. It’s the kind of absentee pulse that you almost want to stop, but it feels too good. Light fingertips brushing the hair on the back of your neck. Like that of knowing a lightning storm is crawling its way across the night sky. Or hearing the neighbor roll their trash can down their road, unable to tell if it’s thunder or an earthquake in its deep humming, only to be relieved that it is in fact another human existing in close proximity to you. Although not something that you remember too well now, just the feeling. It’s surprising and suspenseful at the same moment. It’s love and then what comes after. 
There’s always an after. 
Then you feel the drip running from right inside of you into the hot water, against the fluttering of your thickening lips. 
Please. Kiss me here. Hard, hurtful, and sinful. Strip me to my bones and then use them as your toys. Then tell me I’m a good girl and run your hands through my hair. Tell me I fought good and hard and then let me lie here for a while. 
Chanting like a prayer. 
You remember the smell of his lap, much different than the smell of his neck, but still devastatingly carnal. You cradled into the warmth of his neck; in the burn of his embrace and you sat there, teetering between consciousness and the bliss of finally being held. You had always been afraid that you would leave the world and not even be able to wrap your own arms around you. But someone was holding you before the ground will be—  forever. This didn’t feel like dying through. 
This felt like something else. Similar, but different. 
You sat on top of Joel’s lap in the bath for at least an hour, resting your head on his shoulder, turning and resting it against his chest, too. They both washed you, silently eating you up. Tommy stood outside of the bath, combing your hair after Joel ran his gruff hands through it, pawing at your scalp and rubbing the dirt (hurt) from your scalp. No one talked, everyone inside their own thoughts.
Joel was stuck thinking about the small bags of things you had lost grasp on whenever you fell (were shot). It looked like time-worn items that meant something, from before the world was this way. One is an old driver's license- your smile, happy, content, young. Your name, now repeating in Joel’s head over and over, and over and over, coating every inch of him. He still hadn’t heard it come from your lips. 
9 years ago, this all started. You, now in your mid-20s. How long had you been all alone? No one had come running to your corpse. 
They had come to the conclusion that you were doing well on your own. You weren’t skin and bones like most of them who are lucky enough to survive and find their way to Jackson. You were thick, and heavy in the most beautiful way. Heavy meant healthy, able to hunt, and useful. It meant maybe being able to carry children. It meant handfuls of skin and whispered praises. It meant more to wash, to take in, and try not to touch. It was too much for both of them. The only difference is that Joel knew he was a weak man. He wouldn’t be able to control himself if he kept feeling this way. 
After they removed you from Joel’s lap, they towel dried you and you slowly became more aware of how different four large hands felt grasping at your body, taking care of you. Helping you.
An hour or so had passed and Tommy was lying in bed next to you, reading something. Joel turned the corner and leaned up against the doorframe. 
“Tommy.” There was tar in his throat, dripping down the back of his tongue and settling in his chest. He was a million pounds and his legs could no longer bear the weight of her. Of you. Of his guilt for slipping your drugs and undressing you in his bathroom. 
He looked into you, bounced off the sides of your mind, and then straight into the bed you were lying upon, sleeping so peacefully next to his brother. Tommy sees the pain in Joel's eyes, hung lower in embarrassment. 
He did this to you. He took the life of someone who had the rest of this fucked up world ahead of her. And it was a slow and painful death, too. You were someone’s daughter. It’s fucked up how the world works like that, huh? It wasn’t enough losing his own daughter- he had to kill someone else too. Does your dad, husband, or mother, feel you slipping from the world? Do they hear hushed whispers in the night of your name leaving something tongue? 
Joel stopped believing in God a long time ago. He was slipping from his grip, facing the fall, and Sarah’s last moments solidified his feet on the ground. Almost under. Still surprised it’s not under. 
“I’ll take her, Joel. In the mornin we’ll pack up some things and go back to my house.” He said softly, nodding and looking down at the ground in an unspoken, “I know.” 
It's Tommy who steps forward, taking charge and offering to care for you. He can sense his brother’s connection to you, why he wants to save you so badly. So much so that he can’t. He doesn’t trust himself for what will happen if someone else dies under his watch, because of him. Someone innocent. “I know she’s sleepin’ but can we have a moment?” Joel asks. 
Tommy doesn’t question him, he marks his page, sets down his book, and carries his body from the bed to the hallway. Joel waited a moment and assured me that you were tucked in well, warm from the bath. He sighed, one of pain. 
“I’m so sorry,” his voice was stern in the way that held back his tears. “You have to believe me,” he whispered your name, the first time it left his tongue and he wanted to say it over and over again. “I’m sorry. Shouldn’t have done that to you without askin’.” He caressed your face, watching as your body reacted to his touch, stirring, before the bed creaked with the weight of his body leaving, and then he was gone. You had heard everything, felt him leaving. The room felt entirely too empty.
The Devil was begging you to forgive him, and you wanted to. You wanted to bring your palms together and whisper his name through the cracks, hoping he would hear your silent prayer. “Let me stay here, with you.” 
Tommy entered the room again and sank under the covers. He moved his body closer to you and you decided to bask in it, instead.
-
You wake up, unclear but clean. You don’t remember last night in great detail, or at least a few hours of it, at all. He slept peacefully despite the world’s end, cocooned in a haven his mind crafted. Your mind was far less forgiving— or maybe you still hadn’t learned how to ‘deal with it’. You always felt like everyone dealt with It better. The room lay shrouded in darkness, your thoughts raging, Joel’s words echoed in your mind, etching against the soft inside of your head, deeper with each repetition. His guilty confession and desperate plea for forgiveness replayed. But forgiveness was no longer something you believed in. The world had ended, shattered, and reassembled without remorse. You are sober now. You fall back asleep. 
Your eyes opened again to Tommy caving the bed closer to him, moving your body closer, too. You closed your eyes quickly, away from him, and pretended you hadn’t been awake and listening to the lull of his deep breathing, trying to gain your standing. You felt comforted, waking up next to his freckled shoulders. The hazy light of morning was trailing in from the window and laying out on the carpet, stretching itself in the morning confusion.
There was one thing you were absolutely-fucking-sure about, and it was that Joel Miller had drugged you, and it had secretly awakened something unknown inside of you. It tickled, but it was shoving its way up your stomach and relentless, neverending in its pursuit of something. 
Tommy Miller had saved you. At least he had put you to bed, it seems. And with him, too, rather than the one who seems to be dissolving into his own. Your hair was wet and you smelled like Joel, but you were shrouded in Tommy’s clothes. Slightly more fitting, and better kept together. 
You’d never slept in a bed with a man before. And then all of sudden there were two, interchangeably. Brothers. One that smiled above your eyes and one below. Ones that rocked the bed differently each time their body swam through the damp covers. 
You’d never taken a bath with a man either. Never had anyone's brother ever pulled your sinking body out of bathwater. You remember the inward push of the water and the hands that followed, reaching through it, pushing you forward to Tommy. 
There’s a quick assessment you’ve always done, automatically but unintentionally, “Would this one stop if I asked him to?” Most are ‘no’s. Tommy was a yes in your mind. He would put away his soft, white wings and free you from his divinity if you were to ask.  
~
He was sipping his coffee, dressed in his usual, alone at the table. He had opened the blinds he made sure three times he shut last night. The smoke billowed from the base of the cup into his face and hair, mixing with the silver tuffs. They shone against the darkness at the nape of his neck and the bottom of his chin from the emitting light. 
He looked calm sitting there, as content as a devil could. He felt you before you had even turned the corner upstairs, but he didn’t say anything. He never really did. 
That being said, you can't remember much of anything besides wondering if it was indeed your body that rustled the ground that day. It was, and then you felt a man. A few days could have been weeks, and suddenly you were sitting in a town. A word that didn’t mean too much for a long time, but it did again; sitting at the breakfast table of a man, undulating under his gaze and between the blank spaces of your memory. 
An animal caged inside itself looks for relief in any way it can. Even if the relief is a different kind of pain masked as want. It meant throwing away your expectations and doing what it took to survive. 
You intended on speaking first. Rather, you reached the bottom of the stairs and tucked Tommy’s red flannel across your sparsely clothed body, and suddenly heard, “Shouldn’t be half-naked when Ellie’s here. She’s a kid.”
He didn’t even take the time to move his attention away from his coffee cup. That would be too much effort given to you. You ignored him, wanting to scream, “Was she here last night when you played with me like I was your little fucking doll?” You didn’t give him what he wanted, but still hoping he would give you what you did. 
You had watched the back of your eyelids dance with the small red and green dots for two more hours before getting up, willing remembrance. And oh, did it come.
“Got any more of those?”
“Of what?” He spat, eyebrows lowering in pretend interest in his hot coffee again… into his fuming lap. He knew exactly what the fuck you were talking about. How dare he take advantage of you and then throw it to the side like nothing happened. He was embarrassed. Embarrassed that he got high and took you with him. 
“This is feeling’ a lot different than last night. Those little round things that kept me pliant an’ dead enough for you to press yourself into my naked body? – Joel, do you think I’m not payin’ any fuckin’ attention? The second I tasted the salt on your fingertips, I knew it was you shovin’ pills down my throat. I knew it. And the way you were talking to me, calling me babygirl and sweetheart? Then I didn’t know anything, for a while. Not really. But Tommy,” you were raising your voice now, “Tommy was there too, then I woke up in his bed with his clothes on instead of yours— just tell me what the fuck happened Joel!”  
“Lower your voice, right now.” He was pointing at you, and his body moved closer to yours. “You… you wanted it Bunny,” He growled, “You practically drooled across my palm.” He sighed, gathered the lies from his web, and prepared them. He had already prepared his own cocoon, years ago.
He hadn't been the only one whose high wore off far too early in the night. 
“You didn’t say you didn’t want ‘em and—“ 
Then you spoke above the sentence he was starting to dig deeper into the ground, to his surprise, in a softer tone. One that had a hint of sweetness to it, of want. 
“Sweethear–”
“Do it again. Felt good.”
You liked it. Wasn’t the only thing he wanted to shove down your throat, either. No, no, no. Shaking the thought from his head. 
He removed his eyes from the creases in the wood floor and sewed them into your gaze instead, eyebrows cresting. He wanted to make sure he heard you right. He wanted to hear you repeat it.
“Say that again?”
“Said feels good when you touch me like that. When I’m melting into your flesh and sinking down your bones. That’s what the water felt like. First, it felt like fire, perfect for a Devil, and then it felt like a calm warmth. Then your hands were touchin’ me and, no one has ever touched–
a pause, “like—“
“No one has ever touched you, bunny?”
“No, Joel. And I hate you so much for making me feel this way. For showing me something I can’t continue to have because it’s wrong and, for being so sweet to me and then eating me up like I'm a burden because you couldn't just fucking kill me when you had the chance... and…I can barely even fucking walk. I am in so much pain but you took it away for a while last night. You took everything bad away. Why didn’t you just ask?”
“Hate me, huh? Thas’a strong word for someone who is depending on me, wanting more.” Good. This is how it needed to be. He needed to take care of Ellie, himself now. He promised her that he would.
“Depending on you? Sorry, I forgot we hadn’t got to that part of the conversation yet, past the one where you drugged me. You dropped me into your brother's arms as of last night, didn’t you? I remember it, you musta popped one too many, huh?”
Your attitude and his lack of sleep were making it easier to will the words off the end of his tongue. 
“He seemed better suited for someone…” he looked you up and down, “like yourself.” 
You didn’t have anything to say to that, and he was immediately sorry after speaking about it. 
“For being such a big bad man in this town, you don’t have your fucking shit together,” returning the look he gave you, “do you?”
You were out of breath, releasing too much of yourself into his anger, knees weak and side-splitting in pain. You weren’t going to tell him that you were awake when he begged for your forgiveness. That you heard every word he whispered and repeated it back to yourself as if it was a passage pulled right from the pen-marked Bible your dad used to shove into your hands nightly. 
He thought you had been listening to everyone talking, in the mess hall and whatever drama Ellie had brought home. Maybe even Tommy had told you about the real Joel. The real Joel will tear you apart. 
You sat down on the sunken chestnut couch and the pillows lifted more of his smell into your space, settling and trying to get comfortable. You both remained silent, stung. It made you even more mad that he had the ability to stick straight into your anger like that. So you wished for a way to really hurt him like you were some kind of child.
You weren’t done yet. You were angry. So fucking angry at everything you have endured. And he was standing there, pity and disgust in his eyes–but he was looking, seeing… listening. 
“Tess.” Her name stung like the sound it ended with, for a reason you didn’t know, but inherently felt after last night. The hurt that flashed into his dark pupils spread through the tightness in his jaw.
“Don’t you fuckin-”
“Oh. Shut. Up. Joel. Heard ‘er talking to Tommy last night. Came knocking on the door around 1:30 am, asking for you. Tommy went to your room and you weren’t in there. Went back downstairs and said he couldn't find you, seen you only a couple of hours ago. She was throwing her hands against the door like it was hers to tear down. Guess she didn’t know I wasn’t with you,” you took a deep breath, trying to relieve the pain so you could continue, “Have you seen him? N’ that girl? Tommy, she's a fucking kid. Ain't right for him.” You mimicked her concern. You knew immediately who she was asking for. “Maybe I should go ask Tess if she would give me a few, she seems like she’d like to know what’s going on.” 
His jaw was flexing, his eyes burrowing into you, biting the inside of his lip. You continued, 
“Feels’good being numb for a’while. I’m always fanning off another fire but it always finds the loose thread and kisses it ablaze anyway. This feels like sinking... like I don’t have to fight anymore.”
His deep breath stifled the fire on his chest.
“Know it’s good,” his tone falling deep, low, and warning, “But you don’t need anymore.”
“Don’t I? You were the one who fucking shot me. The least you could do is slip me some pills. I’m in pain, Joel. I’m hurting.” He knew that you weren’t just talking about the wound in your side, that he put it there with his own split metal. He wanted to take that hurt away, get you curled up tight against him and high, painless, protected yet free– from a world you were too young to be living in alone. But how could he protect you from even himself?
He didn't even save her. Nothing has changed now besides the fact he finds it harder and harder to get out of bed every day. That he’s running low on whiskey and that's what keeps the bear inside. The pills keep it sedated. How could he admit that he was not fit to be your protector, and the only other person in town who it could be, was Tommy?
That's why today was the last day you'd be slamming down his stairs. Your footsteps were a reminder that the hurt animal had made its way into his house. A reminder that he was the one who hurt it.“‘M not given’ you anymore. So don’t open your mouth about it again. Got it?"
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emberfrostlovesloki · 3 months
Text
Lighthouse [Hotch x Reader]
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Photo credits: Left (@happyheidi) Center (@agentdilfhotchner) Right (@theindividualchef)
Prompt: Hotch notices some distressing signs from the reader when he bumps into them at the grocery store. He doesn’t say anything, but something tells him that the reader isn’t well. He goes to their job and finds them just in time. Aka, when Aaron and the Non-BAU!reader get a chance to heal together. 
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x fem!Non-BAU!reader. The reader uses she/her pronouns
Category: hurt/angst/comfort
Word Count: 8.9K
Content Warnings: Grief and loss, single fatherhood [Aaron],  depression [Hotch and Reader], brief mention of kidnappings [unsub], domestic violence (fights, implied beating, yelling, chocking, kicking hitting, degrading comments (reader)], hospitals, broken bones. If I missed any please let me know. 
A/N: Good evening, loves! He’s the first Aaron fic of 2024! It’s a bit dark but I tried to handle the subject matter with care. This idea came from @imagining-in-the-margins's amazing January/February Challenge Prompt list: “Character escapes an abusive relationship and the recovery is harder than they thought.” Given that Aaron went through abuse himself and has healed from many things, I wanted to think about how he would try and help someone else going through it too. I just love it when Hotch gets protective and puts someone in their place. I really enjoyed writing this story and I hope you enjoy reading it. If you do, likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated! I hope you’re all having a good week! Love Levi - ❤️
P.S. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence or any kind of abuse, there are resources out there. Please speak to a loved one or trusted individual. If you need help you can contact The National Dometic Hotline at: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or you can visit their website for resources. Please be safe. 
List wil all stories 
_y/n_ = your name 
_l/n_ = your last name 
_y/f/c_ = your favorite color 
_y/p_ = your partners 
_y/p/n_ = your partner’s name (as the partner is a real jerk, put some terrible person’s name here) 
_y/s/hw_ = your style of handwriting (cursive, loopy, blocky, etc.) 
_y/d/a_ = your dominant arm
_y/e/p_ = your ex-partner 
Hotch was walking down the pharmacy aisle of the grocery store. He was looking for the children’s nausea medicine. He’d been looking for twenty minutes. Aaron wondered if they kept it in some other part of the store. Jack’s tummy ache still hadn’t gone away since the night before, and he considered if he should take Jack to his pediatrician. The issue was, that it was Saturday and the doctor's office was closed. Aaron knew he could be paranoid and that Jack probably just had a stomach bug, but he worried. He always worried about his son. Since Haley’s passing, Jack took up a majority of his free time and all of his thoughts when he wasn’t on a case. Adjusting to the grief and loneliness had been hard. Harder than he’d ever imagined, but time, as the saying went, heals all wounds. Even those unseen. Emotional wounds that needed sutures and tender care long after they’d healed. It wasn’t perfect or easy juggling being a single dad and work. It had taken a long time to figure out. But he’d leaned on people, and after a while, he started to feel like a version of himself again. One that still mourned the loss, and regretted his choices, but he was getting better.  Jack was too. Except, this Friday Jack went to a party at a friend's house and caught some illness that was going around. Aaron was so busy trying to find the medicine that he didn’t see that he was about to bump into someone. When the two collided, _y/n_ flinched, but composed herself quickly. So quickly that the familiar man didn’t notice it. They both said in unison, “Sorry.” Aaron straightened and _y/n_ got off of her toes. The pair looked at each other and after a beat, realized they knew each other, at least a little bit. It took a moment for _y/n_ to say, “Oh, cold brew with a shot of espresso on the side. Aaron, right?” For _y/n_, most people she interacted with were associated with some sort of coffee or tea order. _y/n_ was surprised with herself that she’d remembered the tall man’s name. She’d never seen him dressed so casually before. He was just wearing jeans and a dark green t-shirt that accentuated the muscles of his toned torso. In the mornings at six a.m., that man that she thought was called Aaron, only wore a suit and tie. The kind that was tailored just for his tall frame. The expensive material didn’t reveal as much as this outfit did. Even so, he was very attractive. Often, seeing him at the counter was the highlight of _y/n_’s morning. _y/n_ knew that sounded pathetic, but hell the guy actually smiled at her before the sun was up, and he always tipped. Being a barista wasn’t the most exciting job, but at least _y/n_ got to see him on and off during the work week. 
Aaron was desperately wracking his brains for the name of the woman who had memorized not only his coffee order but his name as well. Why couldn’t he remember it? Aaron could picture her name tag with the gold lettering embossed on the enamel pin, but the name was out of focus. Admitting defeat, he replied, “That’s me. And you are?” _y/n_ looked at Aaron and replied, “_y/n_, _l/n_.” She wasn’t disappointed that he didn’t remember her name. No one remembered her name. _y/p_ wouldn’t let her get close enough to anyone to need to remember her at all. _y/n_ told herself internally, “I’m used to it. It doesn’t hurt if you don’t care.” As much as _y/n_ wanted to believe that lie, she was hurting. Her body ached under her dark long-sleeved shirt. She hadn’t meant to make a snarky quip back at _y/p_ last night, but the remark had come unbridled, and she’d paid for it dearly. _y/n_ snapped back to the present as her most irregular, regular customer asked, “Were you trying to reach something on that top shelf? Can I grab it for you, _y/n_?” Something about the way he said her name, had _y/n_ look at him like she’d never seen Aaron before. Like she’d never seen a man before. Not one that oozed confidence even when he was just standing in a grocery store aisle. _y/n_ knew that _y/p_ would never live up to that standard, as hard as they tried, and as long as they lived. _y/n_ flinched at the very idea of the thought. The things _y/p_ would do to her if she ever thought or dared speak something like that in their partner’s presence. Aaron noticed the reflexive jerk of _y/n_’s body like she’d been hit by an invisible hand. He furrowed his brow and took a small step back. “_y/n_, are you alright?” Aaron knew that look and understood the flinching away from things. He’d done enough of it in his childhood. Suddenly, he was concerned about the woman that he saw when he was on his early morning caffeine runs. Hotch felt ashamed that he’d never paid _y/n_  much attention. However, he was paying attention now, as _y/n_ fixed her face back to normal. Back to a friendly smile that hid any physical or mental pain she might be in. _y/n_ didn’t notice Aaron profile her. Instead, she cleared her throat and said, “Yeah, um, could you grab three of those instant ice packs? The cheapest brand on the left?” Hotch nodded and didn’t even need to reach very high to grab the aforementioned items _y/n_ had requested. _y/n_ held out her basket, and he dropped them into the container. Aaron noticed but didn’t comment on the odd assortment of painkillers, gauze packs, and a single pregnancy test on the far right side of the basket. Aaron moved his eyes up quickly to not look like he was prying into her personal life. Sometimes being a profiler had its downsides, and situations where he could see things that didn’t look good were one of them. It’s not like he could just say, “Hey, _y/n_, why do you need those ice packs,” or “Hey. _y/n_ if you lifted your shirt sleeves what would I see?” He wasn’t a mandatory reporter. He wasn’t a professor, or a nurse, or a school counselor. He just had a brain that let him see things that others didn’t. Things that people like _y/n_ probably didn’t want him to see. Then again, he could be reading into the woman’s grocery choices a bit too much. He didn’t know her, at least not more than her name, and she worked at his favorite coffee shop that was closest to the Quanitco Field Office. He liked it because, on a good morning, it took him less than ten minutes to get from the coffee shop to work. 
_y/n_ looked at cold-brew-and-a-shot-of-espresso. He seemed to have gone somewhere else in his brain. She didn’t plan on standing there forever, and had to say, “Well thanks, Aaron. I’ll see you…” she hesitated and finished the sentence with, “...when I see you.” _y/n_ gave the man a little wave and walked toward the self-checkout. Hotch replied, “See you Monday, _y/n_.” It was an odd interaction, to say the least. Aaron realized he’d said, “See you Monday” like a man who worked in a bank, or finance, or some mundane job that let him keep a regular schedule, when he had the opposite of that job. He could be called into the office that moment, and he’d go because that’s what he’d signed up for. Aaron’s phone buzzing made him fish it out of his back pocket and lose his current train of thought. The text was from Jess asking if he was headed back yet. He quickly replied, “I’ll be back in a few minutes. Just picking up the medicine now.” Hotch put his phone away and scanned the kid's medicine section once more. At the end of the row, he found what he was looking for. The child-friendly gummies, he hoped, would allow Jack to relax. Aaron and his son had stayed up most of the night as Jack threw up once an hour or so. Hotch felt the tiredness of the night, and his concern for Jack deep down. Those thoughts had him forget, at the moment, the worry he had for _y/n_. As Aaron was texting and recounting last night, _y/n_ was quickly scanning her items and placing them in a _y/f/c_ reusable bag. Once the receipt was spat out of the machine, she took it, crumpled it, and tossed it in the trash by the front door. If there was one thing _y/n_ was grateful for, it was the self-checkout. There wasn’t anyone there to judge you on what you bought, unless it was alcohol, and it was quiet and quick. She saw no one, and no one saw her. Except, today had been different because she had been seen. That was a rarity. Even if it had only been a minute-long conversation with Aaron. He was a customer who was gone for days in a row with no apparent rhyme or reason, yet always came back. Always at six, and always in a suit. He was part of the group that she called, before the morning rush. That’s probably why she remembered him so well. He was distinct and unique and by far the hottest guy who graced the crowd from six a.m. to seven a.m. After seven the people came like a mob and names, orders, and faces all blurred together until the mid-afternoon lull. As _y/n_ sat in her car thinking, she realized that she didn’t have time to daydream. Especially not about a guy. She looked at the clock in her car and realized that she’d spent more time in her thoughts than she’d anticipated. “Shit” _y/n_ muttered to herself, realizing that if she drove fast, she’d have just enough time to ice the worst of her bruises and discard the ice packs in the dumpster outside her apartment before _y/p_ came home from work to notice them. Given the time crunch, _y/n_ started the engine and whisked her car out of the parking lot as safely, and quickly as she could manage. Any thoughts of Aaron were temporarily replaced with thoughts of getting to ease the aches in her body for a few minutes before another fight inevitably broke out when _y/p_ got home from work. 
As it turned out, Hotch didn’t show up to the coffee shop on Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday, and on Thursday it was another no show, _y/n_ really started wondering what the man did for work. She first thought was a lawyer. He looked the part with his clothes and his stern expression. There were plenty of law offices around the coffee shop, but she never saw him go into any of those buildings after he’d picked up his order from the counter. After he’d told her, “Have a good day,” and then walked out the door with long confidant strides while the bell rang. She considered the possibility of banking or finance, but from what _y/n_ knew, both of those jobs must require consistent hours in an office somewhere. But cold-brew-and-a-shot-of-espresso didn’t seem to keep any type of schedule, and he didn’t seem to be the type that worked in an office. Plus, all the bankers and finance bros she served every morning seemed glum and depressed. Aaron was intense, but he didn’t seem depressed. At least not anymore. The first time he’d come into the coffee shop she’d noticed him because he was new and it was early. He was the first customer of the day, and _y/n_ hadn’t even pulled the cold brew mix out of the fridge when he ordered one to go. As she’d explained that It would be a few minutes,  and the tall man just nodded and said, “It’s fine. I can wait.” The man’s low voice sounded deeply sad. Like he was already dead and buried. It made _y/n_ look at him fully. He had a handsome face, all jaw, and dark hooded eyes. He looked like he sounded, far away. Internally _y/n_ wondered, “Is he going through something? Has this dude slept in the last month?” Both looked true from his slightly disheveled appearance and deep bags under his eyes. At this point, _y/n_ was happily in love with a person that she’d never guessed would lay a finger on her. A person who didn’t raise their voice, threaten them, cheat, or humiliate her in public. No. she was newly in love and everything was perfect. In fact, her partner had just agreed to move in with her last night. But the man in front of her, who’d said his name was Aaron, didn’t look any like she felt. _y/n_ wanted to ask him if he was okay, but it didn’t feel right. He was just a new customer and by now a small queue was forming behind him. So instead, she’d pulled a shot of espresso for him while he waited for his cold brew.  
When Aaron heard his name, he walked over to the counter. Unless he was very behind on the coffee scene he didn’t think the small cup he was being handed was his. _y/n_ saw the look of confusion on his face, and she quickly explained, “Pulled you a shot on the house for making you wait. Hope it will tide you over.” Hotch left something in him that could be gratitude, and he murmured, “Thanks,” as he stepped back with the cup in his hands. It was the kindest thing _y/n_ could think to do for him while she took the next few orders and then started getting out the drinks including Aaron’s. Hotch had found the coffee spot because he had driven past it countless times since living in D.C. and commuting to Virginia. It had caught his eye early on because it seemed to be the only coffee place open that early. It had finally drawn him in when he wasn’t sure if he could live past the grief of losing Haley. Jack kept him going and that was enough, but he could admit he was struggling. He’d decided that doing something different, anything different, might do something for him. He wasn’t sure he could keep doing what he had been doing for the last two months. Even though he wasn’t much of an espresso person, he drank the free shot because it was nice of the barista to give it to him. Shortly after, he was given his cold brew, and he drove toward the office like he normally did. Not much changed for him in the day, except the addition of a lot of caffeine made his body feel like he was buzzing until noon. The sensation wasn’t unwelcome, at least it gave him something else to think about apart from loss. Aaron came back the next day and, just because, _y/n_ gave him another free shot of espresso. After a while, he started paying for the espresso, and as the months passed, he seemed to get better and _y/n_’s life got worse and worse and worse. _y/p_ had shown his full colors, and Aaron had worked on healing while  _y/n_ began hurting. Their paths seemed to be like those of ships in the night. Their lights were never bright enough for the other to fully notice. That was until Friday. 
Aaron had come back from a case in Arizona. It wasn’t the worst, It had been a stalker who kidnapped women who looked like the unsub’s mother due to abandonment issues. When the victims didn’t agree to play the part, the unsub wanted, they were replaced. Aaron moved into Dusk til Dawn like he always did. The bell rang as the door opened and he stood in the short line to get to the counter. He had almost forgotten about his interaction with _y/n_ at the store a little over a week ago. Jack had quickly recovered and then the case came, and time just went on like it always did,  but as he caught _y/n_’s eye, he remembered. Not only did he remember her name now, but he remembered what he’d suspected she might be going through. When he got to the counter, she asked, “The usual?” Aaron nodded as he pulled out his card. He looked over at _y/n’s hands as she wrote his name on the two cups in _y/s/hw_. He noticed the slight bruising and scratches on her knuckles. The signs that something might have happened to her were minimal, but he caught them. Aaron was about to comment something, but as he put his card back in his wallet, _y/n_’s demeanor changed in an instant. The small smile and wide eyes she gave him whenever he came in disappeared. Hotch could almost feel the person behind him shuffle on heavy feet. Hotch stopped himself from looking behind him where _y/n_’s eyes were trained. _y/n_ barely murmured, “You’re order will be out in a second.” Aaron stepped a few feet back and listened from a spot far enough away that it didn’t seem like he was snooping, but also close enough to be able to listen in on the conversation happening at the counter. He crossed his hands over his chest. He could feel the slick material of his grey suit under his arms. He heard the person in front of the register say, “Hey. Good morning, sweetheart.” Hotch looked at _y/n_’s face. It was half reverence, half fear as she replied, “Morning. What are you doing here, _y/p/n_?” In a voice laced with love but a hint of bile _y/p_ said, “Can’t a person see their girlfriend in the morning? Plus I’m in desperate need of a coffee. Make it half soy, half oat milk latte with frothed milk, vanilla, and two pumps of sugar-free syrup. And a shot on the side.” _y/n_’s partner sounded more like an order than a command. Like shouting at a caged dog. _y/n_ knew why he needed coffee. He’d broken her carafe last night throwing it at her head. He’d accused her of cheating again because a friend from high school had checked in on her. 
_y/n_ temporarily forgot all the other orders before _y/p_’s, and with a hurried, jerky movements. tried to make _y/p_’s order. If _y/p_ ever showed up to work, it meant she’d fucked up big time. Done something so big or bad that they had to come and see her before their work started, just to let her know that she was going to get it later. It was a promise. What she’d gone wrong since last night’s accusation and makeup session, _y/n_ wasn’t sure, but there was always something. y/n_ wasn’t paying attention to anything, and as she tried to steam the milk, she accidentally burned herself on the steamer. After a second, the pain circuits in her brain fired and she felt the burn, dropping the metal container holding the hot milk. The metal made a clanking sound on the floor, and a few patrons looked over at her. _y/n_ dipped behind the counter before anyone could notice the soft sob that left her. It was a cry of pain and fear. _y/n_ took the towel from her apron and wiped the floor first. She then fixed her face, got up, placed the dirty metal container in the sink, and remade the drink and espresso shot. It took her about twice as long as normal, but her hand was letting out red hot pulses every second or so. She wasn’t in the right head space to be making drinks at the moment. When the coffees were done, she moved back to the checkout where _y/p_ had firmly planted themself. In a sickeningly patronizing tone, they said, “Now that wasn’t that hard, was it _y/n_? God you always were a clutz. Anyhow, see you tonight, love.” _y/n_ raised a hand and said, “Tonight,” with a forced smile. Aaron watched as _y/p_ took one tiny swipe of her hand to rub under her eyes. The tears were too faint for him to see. _y/n_ then moved back to the cups that had piled up behind who Aaron assumed was her partner. A person who had just spoken to her in such a condescending and humiliating manner. _y/n_’s odd assortment of things at the store, the marks on her hands, and now this interaction only highlighted what Hotch assumptioned about _y/n_. When she eventually called his name for pick up, he approached the counter with care. Aaron grabbed his two cups and after _y/n_ said her normal, “Have a good day,” in a tight tone, he couldn’t help himself but say, “_y/n_ can I see your hand?” _y/n_ froze. She looked over at Aaron and pulled her injured hand to her chest with the other. Softly she replied, “It really doesn’t hurt.” Hotch could still see some of the red skin that looked painful. In the kindest tone he had, Aaron said, “It doesn’t look good, _y/n_. Do you have a first aid kit around here somewhere?” Hotch scanned behind the counter to see if there was a red box holding medical supplies nearby. _y/n_ hadn’t expected anyone to notice her hand. She especially didn’t expect it from Aaron. Without really thinking, she said, “There’s one in the staff room.” “Would you grab it for me?” Aaron asked. Much like the first time _y/n_ met Aaron, the tone of his voice had her look at him. The dark-eyed man looked concerned. It didn’t make sense. Neither did his tone. It came off as a caring suggestion. Something she hadn’t heard in a long time. _y/n_ was used to apathetic orders from her boss, Lisa, and _y/p_ disappointment in her everything. But care? She hadn’t heard or felt it in years. Aaron’s comment alone had her disoriented. To catch a moment to get back into balance, _y/n_ moved to the back room and took the first aid kit out of the cabinet. _y/n_ swallowed back whatever emotions were trying to force their way out before she stepped back into the main room. 
_y/n_ set the red box on the counter. Aaron held out his hand for her hurt one, and to his surprise, she placed it in his large palm. After a moment of looking at the burn. It didn’t seem too bad, maybe a grade-two burn at worst. After his assessment, Hotch said, “You should run that under a cool tap for a minute. I’ll see if there’s some gauze in here to cover it up. As Hotch heard the water run and rifled through the first aid kit. He pulled out a large bandband-aid a generic antiseptic cream. _y/n_ returned in a moment, drying her hands. _y/n_ didn’t know how to react to this kindness and said, “Sorry I don’t mean to hold you up. You’re always so punctual. You’ve got to be late to wherever you go at this point.” She was giving him a way out. She was giving herself a way out because _y/n_ wasn’t sure how to be in this situation. How she would feel about Aaron if he helped her. Aaron looked at her. He saw the hesitation on her face and replied, “I won’t be late, and I’ll be quick here, I promise.” Aaron sensed that _y/n_ wanted this over with as soon as possible. It didn’t give him much time to think of something to check in with her. Hotch couldn’t delay and he didn’t want to make _y/n_ more uncomfortable, so he took _y/n_’s hand back into his. He squeezed a small dot of the cream on his finger and dabbed it onto her burn. _y/n_ flinched as he touched her more deliberately. Hotch finished that part swiftly and tore open the band-aid gently pressing it over the burn, securing it on her hand. He softly dropped her hand and closed the medical kit saying, “Good as new.” Aaron recognized that he was using the tone that he did with Jack when he came home from a play date with a scrape or bruise. _y/n_ took the kit off the counter and said, “Thanks for the help.” She sounded reserved and Hotch nodded, saying, “It was nothing. Have a good day, _y/n_.” With that, Hotch took his drinks again and moved out of the shop with a weight on his shoulders. _y/n_ watched him go and wished she could have a good day, but the threat of _y/p_ hung over her. _y/n_ also wished and tried to get Aaron’s concerned face and kind words out of her head, but she wasn’t very successful at that either. 
Rossi noticed how perplexed Aaron seemed as he entered the building and moved up toward his office. The older profiler also clocked the two cups of coffee Hotch was precariously holding in one hand. Dave, who was at the railing at the top of the stairs asked Hotch as he got to the top, “You turning into Reid or something?” Aaron scoffed and replied, “I hope not. I’m too old from that kind of energy.” Rossi gave a half-smile before saying, “Well today it looks like you picked up more than a caffeine addiction.” Hotch didn’t understand and asked, “What do you mean?” Dave followed his friend to his office and said, “You look like you’re worried about something. Is Jack alright?” Hotch’s deep sigh told Rossi that he was correct. Something had happened. Aaron looked over at him with knowing eyes. Eyes that had seen too much pain and loss for one man. Hotch swallowed his sip of coffee before saying, “I just saw someone getting torn down. Put in a place I don’t think they deserve, and I didn’t know what to do about it. I’m the Chief of the BAU, one of the most revered branches in the FBI, and I see someone get hurt and I don’t know what to do about it.” Rossi leaned his arms on the desk chair opposite Aaron’s and slowly replied, “Aaron, you can’t save everyone from a bad situation.” Hotch bit the inside of his lip and replied, “But I want to. Am I losing my humanity?” Aaron often wondered after the death of Haley what he was becoming. He hoped it wasn’t something bad. Someone who didn’t care. Rossi watched this struggle and uncertainty play out on Hotch’s face and said, “I think this job can warp the way people working it see things. Pardon this reductionist analysis, but we go out and see countless victims and there’s a big bad to get and hold accountable. The scope of the evil we see is like a tsunami, and when we see a wave we don’t always know what to do. But a wave can still drown someone. That person’s no less deserving of a life jacket.” Rossi knew that he was making it sound like Aaron didn’t want to help whoever he was talking about, and knowing Aaron that was never the case. But Rossi wanted to provide some perspective before delving further into the conversation.  Dave then said, “But Aaron, Not everyone knows they're drowning either. Maybe they don’t know to ask for a life jacket.” Dave was taking a guess here. He knew Hotch well enough that if this was a person Aaron knew well or personally, he would have done something already. So most likely this was a stranger or acquaintance that he’d encountered struggling, and Hotch, being the man he was, couldn't bear to see it happen. Rossi didn’t want to press Aaron. He wasn’t the type to go into detail, so Dave just stepped forward, patted him on the shoulder, and, said, “You’re a good man, Aaron, no matter what you believe, you’re a good man.” With that Rossi stood and walked to the door to let his friend decide what to do after that. And just to lighten the mood, Dave said at the door, “Don’t drink all that coffee at once. You’ll put yourself into cardiac arrest.” 
Once Rossi was gone, Aaron moved behind his desk and sat down. He pulled out his briefcase and set to work on a floor-wide memo about a new policy on overtime. As he worked, he let Dave’s words churn in his head. By lunch, he’d decided that he’d go back to the coffee shop after work. No one had been a lifeline for him in his childhood and he wasn’t going to let it happen to someone else. Yes, he was aware that abuse happened all the time, all over the place and he couldn’t stop all of it. But he could let _y/n_ know that there were places she could go, and resources to her to get out. Something like that would have changed his life, and as it would turn out, Aaron’s willingness to step into a sensitive situation would save _y/n_’s. 
Hotch moved back to Dawn til Dusk after work. Thankfully a case hadn’t pulled the team away. It was just after five thirty and the shop would close in a half hour. He’d never been there in the afternoon. The place took on a more subdued quality. There wasn’t the anxiety, the day was all ahead of me energy that the early morning held. As Aaron stepped inside, there was no one to greet him. Not _y/n_ with her smile that he’d grown used to when he stepped in the door or any customers either. For a second Aaron realized that he might be very silly because maybe _y/n_ didn’t work the afternoon shift and when someone came to out of the backroom or storage room, it would be a total stranger. Aaron assumed that whoever was still in the shop would come out of the staff room because the door stood ajar. He couldn’t see into the room, from where he was standing, but a loud thump had him snap his head to the side quickly. The sound hadn’t come from inside the room, but somewhere just beyond it. The same sound came again, and whatever it was, Aaron didn’t like it. Hotch moved to the side enough to see through the open door which led to another door with a window that looked out onto the alley behind the coffee shop. At first, it just looked like a small corridor that ran out to the street beyond the far side of the building. It seemed quiet until a body was pushed harshly to the ground and into Aaron’s view. Hotch realized that it was _y/n_ from her outfit from that morning. In a split second, Hotch was running through the backroom and out the door as the person who had stood behind him this morning came into view and began viciously kicking _y/n_ in the side. 
_y/n_ curled into a ball on the pavement, choking for air. When _y/p_ came back again on the same day and said they needed to talk, she tried to swallow any fear she had. _y/n_ said they could talk in the back room, but _y/p_ insisted they go outside. That had been her fatal flaw. She didn’t know how to say no to them anymore and even though she was still on the clock, she’d let him into the small space behind the shop. Once the door was closed, _y/p_ had pounced. They pinned _y/n_ against the wall, choking her with such force that she couldn’t get a word out. When _y/n_ was sure she’d pass out from the lack of oxygen, _y/p_ threw her to the ground so hard she felt stunned. When _y/n_ had come to her senses, she tried to crawl away from the pain in her body and the threat of passing out. She still hadn’t fully regained her breath and the sides of her vision blurred at the edges. _y/p_ didn’t let _y/n_ crawl more than a few paces before grabbing her shirt and dragging her toward the dumpster on the opposite wall of the alley. _y/n_ groaned as the pain tore up her body. _y/n_ could feel her shirt riding up due to the rough surface of the concrete. _y/p_ tried for the first time to fight back. To get away, but _y/p_ pushed _y/n_ up to the edge of the dumpster and kicked her in the groin. They crouched down while _y/n_ covered her face and neck. _y/n_ said, “Did you think you could get on birth control and I wouldn’t know. Did you think I wouldn’t know?” _y/n_ shook her head and attempted to explain, but _y/n_ stopped trying when she gasped in pain. _y/n_ had pinner _y/d/a_ under a thick steel boot. The sickening crack that came shortly after had _y/n_ turn to the side and vomit in pain. When she looked up at _y/p_’s face, she knew this was how it was going to end. For some fucking pills. _y/p_ moved in again, pressing their hands to _y/n_ neck, cutting off the air she needed; _y/n_ spluttered fighting for life.However, the pressure was suddenly gone from her arm, neck, and everywhere else. Nothing was making much sense in _y/n_’s pounding head. She could only focus on trying to breathe. 
It took Aaron five long strides to get outside and reach _y/n_ and her assailant. Hotch grabbed _y/p_ around the middle and pulled them off _y/n_. Hotch rolled with the person who trashed and screamed, “Let GO OF ME. Get off me.” Hotch grunted and tried to hold the person still. He found it ironic that _y/n_ was so against being manhandled with what he’d just done to _y/n_. From the anger, the person beneath Hotch showed, Aaron assumed it wasn’t the first time it had been this bad. Rage like that just didn’t start from nowhere, It grew and grew until it became uncontrollable. Aaron knew monsters were bred not born. Hotch caught his breath and said, “Stay still for your own sake. Move and I’ll knock your light out.” _y/p_ spat and said, It’s none of your business.” Aaron tightened his hold and said, “As a federal agent when I see someone get assaulted it suddenly is my business.” _y/n_ stilled for a second but then tried to use all their strength to shove Aaron away. Hotch rocked back on his hip and _y/p_  swung at him. Aaron took the brunt of the blow in his sternum. As big as _y/n_’s partner was, the hit wasn’t strong. It hardly hurt. Hotch was done. He had no place of remorse for abusers and he, unlike the person struggling below him, aimed one solid punch at the dude’s face. Maybe _y/n_ wasn’t fully out, but they were stunned enough to slump back on the ground with a groan. Hotch let them go and moved over to _y/n_ who was coming back to herself. Aaron dropped down on his knees next to _y/n_. The lower half of her body was in a murky puddle at the foot of the dumpster and their upper body leaned against the refuse bin. Aaron didn’t notice as his favorite trousers got soaked in the same murky puddle. He pulled out his phone and dialed 9-1-1. The operator answered asking, “9-1-1, what is the nature of your emergency?” Aaron cleared his throat and replied, “There’s been an attack on Maddison and Smith. Fourth block down from the stop sign. At the back of Dawn til Dusk. I need medical and police services.” Hotch heard the operator typing in the information before asking, “Are you or anyone in immediate danger? Are you the one that was attacked?” Hotch replied quickly, “No, it was someone else.” He took a second to see that _y/n_’s partner was still out of it and added, “There’s no immediate danger.” The woman on the other end of the line said, “Thank you for the information. Can you provide your name and phone number?” At this stage, Hotch was multitasking. He was carefully looking over _y/n_ who was starting to stir. He held a hand up to still her movements and turned his head toward the phone on the ground saying, “Agent Aaron Hotchner, the number’s 982-289-7765.” After a second, the woman on the phone said, “Thank you, Agent Hotchner, please stay on the line, medical and police services are on their way.” Hotch nodded minutely and when he looked back at _y/n_, she was staring at him with wide eyes. She had registered who he was now and heard his conversation in the back part of her head that wasn't screaming in pain. _y/n_ whispered, “Where’s _y/n_?” The weak attempt at speaking had her cough harshly into her chest, and Aaron leaned closer saying, “Don’t worry about them, _y/n_. Just stay still and try and relax. If you can take small breaths, it might help.” _y/n_ nodded and tried to do as he said. 
_y/n_ watched as Aaron pulled out another phone and called someone else. She thought she heard the name, Morgan somewhere and the name of the shop, but for a man of Aaron’s stature and power, he spoke with surprising softness. As she had seen Hotch take down _y/p_ there seemed to be an anger she hadn’t imagined she’d ever see from him. But now he just looked worried for her. Like he had looked worried at the store. His emotions had turned on a dime. She was used to that with _y/p_. But that was from a constant disappointment to a visceral rage. Aaron’s were different. His seemed to shift from anger to firm protection. _y/n_ didn’t know what to make of it. Didn’t know what to make of her life anymore. She hadn’t expected to live a few minutes ago and now time stretched out before her like nothing she’d ever seen before. It was beautiful and horrifying at the same time. _y/n_ couldn’t think about that though. Not now. Instead, she just did as the man beside her suggested, relax and breathe. That was managable at least. Hotch stayed by her, checking every minute or so to make sure _y/p_ stayed put. Aaron hadn’t even put fifty percent of his strength into his punch, but the slumped body on the ground didn’t move. At least until the police showed up five minutes later and hauled them into a cruiser. _y/n_ suddenly got their energy back and bellowed that they had been attacked by Aaron. _y/n_’s bloody face and broken arm plus Hotch’s badge and account of the story had the officers removed _y/p_ from the scene shortly after. The paramedics showed up at the same time as the officers and started to treat _y/n_. Hotch gave his side of things and tried to listen in on _y/n_’s conversation at the same time. The EMT finished his assessment and asked, “Is your vision blurred? How’s your breathing?” _y/n_ softly replied, “I can see okay. My neck hurts, but I can breathe okay. But my arm, it really, really hurts.” The EMT nodded and said, “It looks like it’s broken. My colleague is going to bring the stretcher around the building now. Once you’re in the ambulance we can get you some pain medication, okay?” _y/n_ nodded and the paramedic asked one last question, “Is there someone we can call for you? A family member or friend?” Hotch watched as _y/n_ shook her head no. She looked incredibly sad and lonely in the moment and it pulled at his insides so much they ached because he knew exactly what that felt like. To feel alone in the world. Hotch stepped forward and said, “I’ll stay with her. Which hospital are you taking her to?” The EMT stood and made room for the gurney along with Aaron. The man replied, “Grand Gen on 45th.” Hotch nodded and watched as _y/n_ got loaded onto the stretcher. As she was taken toward the ambulance Aaron walked beside her and said, “I’ll be at the hospital okay. If you need anything just ask for me, alright?” _y/n_ gave a small nod, thankful that anyone was going to be there for her. 
Aaron spent the next few hours talking to the police and waiting in the hospital for an update. _y/n_ called him in before the doctor came to tell her what was wrong with her. _y/n_ even though she didn’t know the man who had saved her well, was the closest thing she had to a friend in town, and she didn’t want to be alone when she found out the extent of all what was wrong with her. Doctor James was compassionate as he detailed her minor concussion, broken arm, and deep bruises on her body. He detailed a care plan and her need for at least a week of rest. _y/n_ looked at the medical professional and asked, “Can I work after that?” James pursed his lips and replied, “I wouldn’t recommend it. You’ll need to come in for a check-up next week and we can talk about that then. But for now, I need you to rest.” _y/n_ mouthed okay, trying to think about how to tell Lisa that she wasn’t going to be at work for probably over a week. Lisa had fired much of the staff last year and was a chronic, didn’t show up to work even though she owned the coffee shop. _y/n_ had ended up picking up the slack. The doctor looked over _y/n_’s chart and wrote down the pain medications he was going to prescribe her. He looked up from the clipboard and said, “I’ll schedule your release for an hour. I just want to ensure you’re not confused or don’t have any reactions to the medications we gave you. There are some pretty strong ones and not everyone’s body takes to them well. It’s not safe for you to drive, so you’ll need to call someone to get you. Does anyone come to mind?” No one came to mind. If anything came up, she always called _y/p_, but she wouldn’t be doing that anymore. The realization seemed overwhelming. Everything in her life felt overwhelming right now. Hotch stepped forward and said gently, “I can take you home, _y/n_. If you’re comfortable with that. Or I can get you a cab?” _y/n_ looked over to him and said, “You’d do that?” Hotch nodded and reassuringly replied, “Yes. Of course.” Hearing someone so vulnerable sound so desperate only made Aaron want to look out for _y/n_ more. The doctor derailed that train of thought and said, “Well good. Can you go and speak to the charge nurse at the counter, just so we have your information?” Aaron nodded and moved out of the room. After he’d provided the details the hospital needed, he got a call from Morgan. Hotch answered, “Derek, what do you have?” Morgan replied, “I asked Garcia to look up the dude, they have a record as long as my arm. Assault and battery, resisting arrest, DUI’s. After this, I don’t think they’ll be bothering anyone for a while. It was still a bad situation. The cops told me about the details. How’d you know it was going to happen.” Aaron sighed and replied, “I didn’t really. I had my assumptions but it was just a gut feeling I guess.” Derek hummed and said, “Well it’s good you were there. Things could have gone differently.” That was true, but it didn’t stop Aaron from wishing he’d noticed earlier. After asking Morgan to have Rossi pick Jack up from school and watch after his son for a few hours, Aaron ended the call. Around fifty minutes later, _y/n_ was released and Aaron pulled his car up to the front of the hospital. A nurse helped her into the driver’s side of his car. It was an awkward ride as he asked her for her address and he plugged it into his phone. As Aaron drove there was a silence that neither knew how to fill. 
_y/n_ didn’t know how to thank Aaron for saving her life when, up until that afternoon, he’d only been someone to make her mornings a little brighter. And Aaron didn’t know how to comfort a woman who had helped him heal in a small way many months ago. Finally, Aaron just said, “I’m sorry, _y/n_” while keeping his eyes on the road. _y/n_ looked over at him not understanding. She replied, “Why are you sorry, Aaron? You saved my life today, spent four hours in a hospital, and are using your car to take me home. You don’t even know me and you’re doing all of this” Hotch shifted his eyes to _y/n_ and back to the road as he said, “But I saw you. What was happening a few weeks back and I didn’t say anything. I didn’t ask if you needed help. It’s my job to help people. To keep them safe, and I didn’t do that.” _y/n_ pulled her bottom lip into her mouth for a second before responding. When she found out that Aaron was in the FBI while he was speaking to the police, things seemed to make more sense about him. But _y/n_ didn’t understand why he felt bad. She said, “Aaron, lots of people saw. You’re the first person to have ever done anything about it, and it saved my life. I won’t ever be able to pay you back for that, or the kindness you showed me every morning you come in.” _y/n_ stopped herself from saying that he’d given her something to live for. But seeing him slowly get happier had kept her going over the long months when things had gone from bad to worse. She knew that at least one person wasn’t suffering anymore. Hotch’s soft response of, “You don’t have to thank me, ever.” The conversation stopped there as they reached _y/n_’s apartment. Hotch pulled out his card and scribbled his number on the back saying, “Call or text me if you need anything.” _y/n_ nodded, took the card, and slowly walked to her door to enter an empty home. 
_y/n_ hadn’t expected to need to call Aaron Hotchner. But she also hadn’t expected it to be so hard to be alone, to wake in cold sweats every morning. She didn’t think showering alone would be as hard even though showering with _y/e/p_ always ended in fights. _y/n_ knew she had to talk to someone, and the only someone she could think of had been Aaron. So she called him on a Thursday night and he’d picked up on the first ring with, “This is Hotchner.” _y/n_ wasn’t even sure what she was going to say, but finally choked out, “Umm, this is _y/n_, _l/n_, from last week.” There was a pause as Aaron’s synapses fired and he said, “Yes, _y/n_. Is something the matter? Do you need something?” The was a soft shuffling sound on _y/n_ side before she replied, “Kind of. Can we, talk sometime? If you have time?” Hotch blinked a few times before saying, “Sure. Do you want to talk now or later?” _y/n_ who half hadn’t expected Aaron to pick up and fully wasn’t sure what she even wanted to say, said, “Later. Maybe Saturday?” Hotch agreed and said, “Saturday works. I’ll have to bring my son. Would meeting at a park be okay? Jack, my boy could play and we’d have an hour to talk?” _y/n_ hadn’t known Hotch was a father. “Of course, you don’t idiot. You formally met him last week. Can you read minds now or something?” _y/n_ pinched the bridge of her nose and stifled a sigh at her thoughts. Instead, she said, “That works for me. Is there a time and a park that works for you?” They made their meeting plan, and when _y/n_ hung up, she felt oddly comforted that Aaron was a father. The role fit him in some way that she couldn’t fully understand yet. 
That Saturday at Lincoln Grove Park, _y/n_ and Hotch leaned against the rail. _y/n_ looked at the flock of kids on the playground and asked, “Which one is your son?” Hotch smiled and pointed out Jack saying, “The one in the grey beanie and Power Rangers shirt.” _y/n_ spotted the little boy going down the slide and smiled saying, “He’s cute.” Aaron smiled and said, “As his father, I have to agree.” He took a breath and moved his gaze from his son to _y/n_. She looked at him as he asked, “What’s the matter, _y/n_? Are you okay?” Hotch realized that he could have, should have said those words to her when he’d helped her at the store, but it was too late for that now. All he could do was ask them in the present, and be there for whatever answer _y/n_ gave. _y/n_ had considered this question beforehand and replied, “After the first day I thought it was going to be easy. I thought I was going to be happy and want to do things and live life again.” _y/n_ hesitated and Aaron’s eyes softened. He’d seen and experienced enough trauma to know how hard that sudden kind of change was. You didn’t just go from sad to happy overnight, or scared to empowered either. He gave _y/n_ space to finish he thought, and after a moment she did, saying, “But when I wake up and the other side of the bed is empty, I panic. I wonder where _y/e/p_ is and how the fight is to be once it comes. And when I go to the store, I get the things they liked because I liked them too. _ye//p_’s still everywhere even though they’re sitting in a jail cell right now.” It all sounded pathetic to _y/n_ and she continued, “Am I an idiot for falling for someone like that? I really thought they loved me until they hurt me. And at that point, I loved them too much to see past it.” Feeling ashamed, _y/n_ put her head in her hands, not even sure why she was saying this stuff to Aaron. Hotch took a step forward and said her name, soft and melodically. _y/n_ raised her head and he could see the tears forming in her eyes. He put a hand on her shoulder and replied, “You’re not stupid, _y/n_. Some people are just good fakes. They let you see what you want until you think you know them. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. Good people don’t have to hide what they are.” Aaron took a pause and felt _y/n_ lean into his touch a bit. He wondered when the last time was that _y/n_ had been offered comfort without it coming at a price. Hotch chose his next words carefully, as he said, “I can’t speak for you _y/n_. But I’ve felt a lot of pain before. Some I didn’t think I was going to make it through. But in time, things got better for me. Small things changed first, and then bigger and bigger things. And finally, I felt like I could breathe again. Like I was a human deserving of love. I had to work for it, but it was worth it. I hope you can find that too, _y/n_. I’d be happy to be there for you if you want to try.” _y/n_’s tears were falling now, and she nodded her head yes. For the first time since she’d been free of _y/e/p_, she wanted to try. 
As _y/n_ and Aaron stood at the edge of the playground, talking and finally getting to know each other after months of almost being friends, it seemed that perhaps they weren't destined to move past each other without ever knowing the other existed. Perhaps they had both been lighthouses on opposite shores trying to save strangers, but now their warm beams were fully on each other. Shining the way to safe passage. And when Aaron saw the hint of a real smile, not one masked by pain or fear on _y/n_’s face, he thought it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.
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delta-pavonis · 9 months
Text
July Kinkfest Days 4 & 5
The Sandman || Dreamling (Dream of the Endless/Hob Gadling) || Rated E || 939 words
Prompts: Possessive Sex | Body Worship | “I had a dream about you.”  - Exhibitionism | Aftercare | “I’ve always wanted to try this.”
Warnings (in addition to the prompts above): getting together, jealous Dream, rough sex, biting and other post-sex superficial injuries
Author's Notes: Two days combo platter! Five out of six prompts! Whoo!
As his lover dozes, Dream traces the marks left on Hob’s skin. Not the scars, but the recent ones, bruises and welts and scrapes, left not so long ago by Dream’s fingers and lips and teeth. And as he touches each one he checks that it is superficial, urges each gently into healing, and memories float to the surface.
It started with one of the New Inn’s regulars, Eliot Sutton, a New Yorker at the end of two years of post-doctoral work in astrophysics and cosmology, who had sought work abroad as he was fleeing his broken engagement and family strife. Dream knows these details immediately upon looking at the man, but what actually matters is that he and Hob are in the back of the pub, sharing a table and a pint, papers and books spread out before them, working in a familiar and companionable silence. 
On Hob’s hip, long finger-shaped bruises are starting to purple. Dream can hear the echo of Hob’s sob of pleasure, of relief, as Dream finally sinks his cock into his loosened, slick hole. “Yes! Sweetchristyes!”
As Dream gets closer to the table he learns more: Eliot Sutton has a black cat back at his apartment that he adopted from a local shelter because she was twelve and looked like she needed a friend. He has a collection of old manuscripts on Babylonian astronomy that probably should be in a museum. The man reaches to take a sip of his ale and spends a moment staring at Hob. Dream picks up the edges of an erotic daydream, no the memory of a dr-
“I had a dream about you last night.” The man interrupts Dream’s thoughts as much as Hob’s work and both stop mid-movement.
Long red welts along Hob’s back are receding, no longer as sharp-edged and raised as when Dream’s nails made them, scrabbling for purchase as Hob bent the Dreamlord in half as he fucked him with deep, rolling thrusts. “Let him see. Fuck, invite the entire college, the entire city… let them all see how I lose myself in you. Only you.”
“Did you now?” Hob takes his own pint in hand, downing a large swallow. “Let me guess, a nightmare about me, a lowly history professor, grading your uni papers?”
Eliot very clearly lets his gaze get dark, his voice suggestive. “Not quite. Although it did involve a desk.”
Hob blushes. “El…”
More nail marks, clear crescents in sets of four, overlap each other across Hob’s shoulders, a few crusted with dry blood. Dream cleans them with a careful touch and hears his own growls in his ears as Hob drops to his knees in front of him. “Is this how the most devoted priests feel when faced with their god?” He nuzzles into the base of Dream’s leaking cock, licks tentatively, making them both shudder. “Willing to exalt, to glorify, to praise, with mouth and tongue, with words and breath, with body and soul…” He presses the flat of his tongue to the underside, making Dream gasp and claw into his shoulders as he licks a line up to the tip. When next Hob speaks his lips brush the head with each word. “I would worship you, my Dream.”
Any further answer is interrupted when Hob catches sight of Dream in his peripheral vision and his face breaks into a smile wider than any he has seen directed at Eliot. “My friend!” Hob stands to greet him, to bring him to the table with a hand on his shoulder. “It has been less than a week since we last met! I was not expecting to see you so soon! Not that I am complaining, mind you – I welcome your presence, day or night.” Hob turns to his table-mate. “Eliot! This is my oldest and dearest friend D-”
“Morpheus.” Dream interrupts, putting out a hand to shake as is current custom. Hob blinks at Dream, confusion passing across his face for only the slightest moment, before he motions for Dream to sit with him in his side of the booth.
Eliot shakes Dream’s hand amiably enough, but his eyes narrow at how close Dream slides in next to Hob.
Smaller bruises litter the top of Hob’s shoulders, his collarbones, underneath his jaw. Dream touches each one and remembers its unique taste, remembers making them with his hungry mouth as he unbuttons Hob’s shirt. They are barely inside his flat, crowded into the corner behind the shut front door. “Oh fuck,” Hob moans, arching into Dream’s touch, tugging at Dream’s hair. “If only I had known, love… I would have ventured to make you jealous sooner!” 
Eliot leaves not ten minutes later and Hob gives Dream a pointed look. “Was that really necessary?” 
Dream stares right back. “He dreams of having you. Not just carnally. Intimate in all senses of the word.”
One of Hob’s eyebrows makes a break for his hairline. “And that is a problem because…?” But he must see something in Dream’s expression, because Hob leans in. “Does that make you…” Hob licks his lips and Dream’s eyes follow the motion of their own volition. “... are you jealous, Dream?”
The last bruise is a nebula of colors along the side of Hob’s nape, created through repeated attention from Dream’s mouth as he fucks Hob through another of his own orgasms. Hob’s cock has long since been exhausted, but still he pleads for Dream to take him, to fill him, to use him. Still he wishes only to be a vessel for Dream’s pleasure. So as Dream drifts downward, finally sated, he purrs into Hob’s ear. “Mine.”
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softstargirl · 1 month
Text
𝓟𝓘𝓝𝓚 𝓑𝓞𝓜𝓑!⑅˖⁠♡.⁠。⁠*⁠♡
part 1 ⑅˖⁠♡ | part 2 ⑅˖⁠♡
❝You make this man sing hymns about you, it's insane.❞✧。♡
❝She’s so ethereal! My pretty, beautiful, gorgeous wife! Damn, am I lucky she ever looked at me.❞
Model! Wife! Reader/Husband! Satoru Gojo
Genre: Fluff & Angst! (⁠っ⁠˘⁠з⁠(⁠˘⁠⌣⁠˘⁠ ⁠) & (⁠ب⁠_⁠ب⁠)
TW: Pregnancy Mention, A Tiny Bit Suggestive (Tiny!), Gore Description, Sorta Body Horror (Can't write that for my life) & MAJOR TW: Child D***h.
Jessica White’s so gorgeous!!! ♡⁠(⁠>⁠ ⁠ਊ⁠ ⁠<⁠)⁠♡ This is not how [Name] looks but the model inspired me!
Peace and Blessings to you, My Love! <3
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“Turn a little to the left...that's it.” The photographer in front of you guided you as you twisted your body into the bizarre position he had you in while wearing a puffy dress.
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“Kidcore and vintage.” You concluded to your husband, phone in hand, at the email you received from Marrie, the designer of the dress you were to wear the next day. “The dress looks puffy, kind of like those of the ‘grandma’ type of dolls with a colourful, childish mix.” You observed then handed him the phone to take a look. “It does look like that”. Satoru said, zooming the photo to look at the details. “It's a pretty unique design. Definitely reflects her energy. She's so bubbly.” His white locks falling apart on the curve of your breasts as he cuddled you more.
“Yes, she's the cutest. Vintage doll dresses are so adorable.” You smiled as you caressed his hair and looked over a couple more details.
You married one another while young. Satoru’s family wanted an heir early, and your family wanted to be closer to the Gojo heirline. It was arranged, yes, but it was surprising that you fell for one another despite the circumstances.
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“I told you, I'm fine.” Raindrops dripped onto the sidewalk as you stood under the bus stop’s shelter. Satoru, having a couple of errands on his mind, forgot to inform Kiyotaka to pick you up. “Get inside the car. It’s freezing”. Gojo responded, and the car opened itself. Of course, he was going to show off.
“You didn't have to come. I could have gotten an Uber.” You said, once on the passenger seat, and fastened your seatbelt. “And risk you getting hurt? What good fiancé would I be if I didn't pick you up?”
“I can handle myself, Satoru. No need to force yourself.” You responded, rolling your eyes as you watched the road. The rain would have been terrible to handle alone, you observed, but your pride couldn't lower itself to thank him.
“I'm not. I couldn’t let you handle the rain alone.” Satoru responded and removed his blindfold to look at you. Starlight gazed into your own, and you forced yourself to look away before it seemed as though you were staring too much.
“Hmph.” You drew your attention to the raindrops glistening the window. “Thank you.” You said after a moment and rolled your eyes at Gojo’s smirk.
“Aww, you're warming up to me.”
“Fuck off.” You bit a grin, embarrassed.
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“Nononono...!” You cried as you ran from the curse that paced at you, and nearly fell as you climbed the stairs of your agent’s villa.
Blood from the family that was consumed by the horrid curse that gave chase stained your clothes. Shouts threatened to tear from your lips but you shakily kept them in.
“It’s getting closer!” You panicked and rushed into a corner.
“No!” You thought. Fear was overcoming you as you desperately grasped the concrete. You heard a chuckle from behind you and turned to gasp at the raw sight.
Nagasaki, your agent’s face was at the side of the mushy form that walked towards you with twig-like legs and eyes that struggled to be seen through the flaps of fat that protruded underneath the curse’s purple skin.
“Nonnie.” You tearfully whispered when you saw her small brown arm potrude out of the side of the creature's head and flap aimlessly. A yell fell from your lips at the bite the creature made at its small build with suddenly formed teeth that were stained red, and spat it out in front of you.
“Shit! Why did Nagasaki have to confess his feelings for me? Why did he do it in front of his wife?” You cried at the blood-stained and slick arm in front of you, recalling the time you spent with the young darling.
The curse was a manifestation of the hazardous atmosphere in the home. The toxicity grew bigger and intensified by rage at the final moment, the curse was birthed.
“Y-ou...ack!” Nagasaki’s wife's head choked at the blood she vomited, the mix of her fluids spilling through the large tear across the left side of her mouth. Half of her body stuck out at the top of the curse, fury flowing through her eyes at the sight of you. The curse let out a shout on her side, but she ignored it.
“Aaaa-ack!” The curse that was rushing towards you let out a low noise before plopping to the floor, a wet noise following it as its guts poured from its split body. Blood and slick, similar to a slightly mixed egg yolk with its egg white, spread across the floor.
“[Name], I’m so sorry. I should have come sooner. I’m here. It's alright, [Name]. You can open your eyes now.” You didn't realise you had closed them. You heard someone shift towards you and drew deeper into the wall in instinct, arm over your eyes in the slight defence you could afford. The movement stopped.
Quiet fell over the atmosphere as you took in deep breaths to calm down your heart, which beat ferociously and was heard all over your body. “[Name]? Satoru called out once more, brows furrowed at the pitiful form you were stuck in.
“Satoru? Is that you?” You stammered a bit, hoping that you weren't being delusional in your last moments. “Yes, [Name]. It's me.” Tears engulfed your eyes as you slumped to the floor in exhaustion and relief.
“I thought I was going to...No!” You wailed and desperately clung on to the man when he dropped to your level. “Why is it that all I’m good at is healing?! If it weren't for you...oh my gosh!”
“Hey. Hey. Hey, [Name]. Don't speak about yourself like that. You help so many people with your ability. You help me.”
“No, I don't! I wish I could have done something—anything! Nonnie!” You bawled as you looked at her unevenly cut organ, holding back vomit as the revelation of the child’s death overcame you. Satoru’s gaze moved to the arm and he let out a deep breath, his eyes low as the familiar sight saddened him.
Sobs engulfed the building, and unspoken solace was shared between you two as realisations were made about just how you both related to one another. You were both exposed to unfathomable sights.
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“Time for a break.” Milo, your photographer said as he looked over the shots made. “Yes!” You grinned and walked up to him to view them as well. A hand intertwined with your waist, and you rolled your eyes, a smile on your face as you turned to your husband.
“Who’s this gorgeous woman I’m looking at right now? Gosh, she is so adorable.” Satoru grinned as he looked at the shots your photographer showed him as he looked for the perfect one. “It’s none other than your beautiful wife, Mr. Gojo.”
“Obviously, it's her. There's no one else as stunning as her.” He smirked, slightly wiggling his eyebrows at you, who turned to the other side in laughter and slight embarrassment. “Gosh, I can't take you out of the house, can I?” You giggled.
“Not unless you're staying home. I'd gladly spend the whole day with my Beloved.” He smirked with a familiar glint in his eyes. “Yes, I definitely can't take you out of the house.” You responded, flustered.
“Ugh, if you two lovebirds are going to flirt right in front of me, you might as well head over to the janitor’s room. Damn teenagers.” Milo shook his head as he rolled his eyes with a smile on his face.
“Don’t worry about us, Milo. Focus on how you're going to impress Sarah during your date tomorrow.” You grinned as you watched a blush appear on his pale cheeks. “The missus is doing alright. Gonna be the first date in a while since the last one, which was a year ago. Gosh, children really take up a lot of your time. We wouldn't trade our little ones for anything, though.”
“Definately. We hope to get a bunch of cute, tiny versions of us in the near future too. I just know that they're all going to inherit their mother's snark and our good looks.” Gojo said, a smile on his face as he fantasised about the picket fence life he had every intention to share with you.
“Hmph. For all I know, they're all going to inherit your mischief. A bunch of little Satoru’s are bound to bring chaos just like their father.” You responded, gently laying a hand on your tummy. You couldn't wait to tell him the news on Valentine's Day tomorrow.
A bunch of mini-you’s and Satoru’s were bound to be an adventure.
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This was funnn! Happy Valentine's Day! ♡⁠(⁠>⁠ ⁠ਊ⁠ ⁠<⁠)⁠♡
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highpri3stess · 1 month
Text
Monsters: Mikey Sano x Reader x Izana Kurokawa
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Chapter 2: Shots Fired
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pairing: Mikey Sano x Fem Reader x Izana Kurokawa
series summary: Your grievous sin was Emma standing up for you to her brothers. And now you’re going to pay the heavy price for destroying their perfect family dynamic.
chapter summary: izana kurokawa decides he has to teach you a bitter lesson that you wouldn't forget any time soon
chapter warning: 18+ dark content, misogyny, religious themes, smoking, mention of drugs, brief description of child abuse, childhood trauma and sex work, violence (against both character and reader), emotional incest, night terrors, allusions to sex, sexual harrassment, mention and brief description of rape, asphyxiation (non sexual), manipulation, slut shaming, near death experience, sexual assault, noncon, oral (m.recieving), face and throat fucking, attempted murder
Please read ending credits for important annoucement
wc: 7.5k
masterlist||chapter 1||chapter 3
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  IZANA mindlessly fiddled with his lighter as he leaned on the wall, waiting diligently for Emma.
Unlit cigarette between his lips, his purple eyes scanned the people leaving the English department one by one, hoping to find a mop of golden hair amongst the students. A small vivienne Westwood shopping bag hung between his fingers loosely, perched beside his faded out black jeans. There was no way that Emma would avoid him in public at least, not with the entire student population watching the both of them. He knew that his little sister hated being the subject of rumors, no matter how trivial it could be.
His plan has to work. It just has to.
Whatever bullshit Mikey was spewing about you being the key to getting Emma to speak to him, can go to hell. He and Emma had a strong bond that transcended anything casual. This was his little sister he watched for the first eight years of his life, a bond doesn’t just break like that. Not over a stranger.
Not over you. Over your dead body.
A few minutes passed and still no sign of Emma. Deciding that he didn’t want to stand around and gape like a moron, Izana lifted his lighter towards his cigarette, flicking the light twice and bringing the warm flame to his lips. Breathing in the familiar scent of nicotine, smoke filled his lungs as he tucked the lighter back in his pockets. His free hand took the cigarette from his lips and he exhaled, releasing plumes of smoke from his lips.
His smoking habit had gotten worse within the past week. Izana couldn’t help it, reaching for a light anytime he saw his gifts in the dustbin. Emma hasn’t been this angry at him for more than a day before, usually a new plushie was enough to wash his sins clean, no matter how grevious they were. Now, not even the most expensive shoes she’s been eyeing for months could satiate her anger.
All because of you.
Izana knows his little sister like the back of his hand. Like how she loved sleeping with plushies because it comforted her whenever their mother brought men into the house and they were loud. Or how he picked up a guitar to learn multiple barbie songs because their mother had destroyed Emma’s CD that he bought with his money to punish her. He knew she liked warm tea during her periods and gentle back rubs to ease her pain.
Izana knows he’s not the best person to be around. Emma may have been young when she left their mother’s home, but Izana had stayed there until his teens before going to the orphanage, enduring unimaginable horrors. Life hardened him, made him so jaded that the only thin thread connecting him to his humanity was Emma.
And little by little, his humanity was slipping away.
First it was Mikey’s stupid friend, Ken Ryugi, who waltzed his way into Emma’s life. Izana didn’t like him one bit- didn’t like how Emma would bite her lip, waiting for him to reply and cry herself to sleep when he didn’t. Her heart was soft, fragile and that brute tore it apart by telling her he wasn’t interested in a relationship yet. The only reason Ken wasn’t in an unmarked, shallow grave in the middle of nowhere was simply because Mikey was involved.
Now it was you. Taking the space in her life that belonged to him and him only. He was fine sharing with his younger brother, no matter how much that little shit pisses him off but now, you’re pushing both of them out of the equation. How could someone so insignificant be so important to his sister?
He took more puffs, letting the smoke out through his mouth. He skimmed throughout the campus once again, nervousness creeping onto his consciousness with every passing moment. Had he missed Emma?
‘Has she gone to her room already? Don’t tell me I missed her-’
His thoughts were cut short the second he caught sight of a familiar blonde hair bouncing in the wind. He stood up straight tossing the cigarette to the floor and crushing it underneath his black shoes, before rushing to catch up to his little sister.
Izana pushed through the throng of people, violently shoving anyone that got in his way until he finally fell in step with her, slowing down to match her pace. Without wasting time, his hand curled around the girl’s wrist, stopping her in her tracks instantly. A shocked gasp escaped her lips, her head twisting fast and her free hand even faster to hit him.
“Get off me - Izana?”
Her hand stopped mid air, inches away from the smirking male’s face. He noticed her tension leave her body, relief washing over her, only for irritation to take its place on her face, instantly displeased at his actions. “What the hell? I’ve told you to stop doing that.” she hissed at him.
A mischievous grin made its way to his face at Emma’s irritation. She always had a pout whenever she was angry at him and it made look even more adorable.
“Were you scared?” He teased her, pulling Emma closer to him until she was practically smushed at his side, his arm hugging her tight despite the irritated glare she gave him in response. “You know that as long as I’m alive, no one guy would ever have the balls to hurt you. Unless they want to die.”
“Stop joking about things like that.”
‘I’m not.’
Shaking his head, he decided to change the topic to what he came here for originally. “Here I got you something for your…” he sneered at the thought of Draken being near his little sister. “date with Draken.” He released her from his side hug before extending the perfume bag to her with a smug look on his face. “It’s Vivienne Westwood, your favorite.”
His hand hung in the air as Emma trailed her pointed glare from his hand, back to his cheerful visage. She crossed her arms in response slowly, her yellow eyes rapidly looking at the bag to his face before her lips curled into a sick sneer.
“Are you insane?”
“What?”
“Don’t ‘what?’ me Izana! How many times have I told you that this is not a situation you can bribe me out of! Not this time!”
Emma’s voice was loud enough to garner wandering eyes of other by-standers, watching the event go down. They were wise enough to hide that they were staring, so as not to piss Izana off even further after she left.
Izana kept his composure, still holding out the bag towards Emma with a smile -albeit stiffer than before. ‘She’s just being emotional’ Izana whispered to himself, still trying to be rational. ‘Just take it easy with her’
“Easy Em, I said it was a joke” his words were smooth, buttery, flowing out of his lips like it was the truth. In his own opinion, you were the one in the wrong for wearing such a provocative outfit, showing your body off. He was just trying to tell you off so that you would be more decent next time when you’re around seniors. “I didn’t know your friend was that sensitive-”
“Are you listening to the bullshit coming from your stupid mouth?” Emma roared, her voice echoing throughout the entirety of the department, her face red with fury. Izana had never seen his own beloved sister ever look at him with such disgust in her eyes, her teeth gnashing against each other and hands at her side, clenching against each other. “Is that what you think a joke sounds like?”
“Calm the fuck dow-”
“No wonder you’re fucking single, you’re such a piece of shit to anyone that isn’t Shinichiro!” Emma screamed, interrupting Izana once again, her temper fiery enough to burn a hole on the ground she stood with how heated she was. “How does anyone even stand you for so long? You’re unbearable!”
“Excuse m-”
He doesn’t like where the conversation is going, with how furious Emma was right now. He tried to raise a comforting hand to Emma’s shoulder to ease her tension but she was quick to smack it away from her hard, stinging his fingers a little.
It hurt.
“You’re so unpleasant, how do you even have any friends? How do they tolerate you? To think (name) wanted me to forgive you! Thank god you aren’t my fucking brother, I can’t imagine being anything like you!”
The words left her mouth before she could stop herself.
It was as if the world froze over for Izana. He stood there, wide eyed, his heart beating loudly in his chest as all the voices around him faded into the background. His hand extended weakly at his side, mouth drying up as a lump formed in his throat. He can see the flash of regret in Emma’s eyes, the way her face changes when the weight of her words crushed the both of them.
Suddenly he was sixteen again, thirteen year old Mikey taking Emma’s place and uttering those soul-crushing words to him after another fight. It was just a silly xbox game that Shinichiro forced them to share, one of his many futile attempts to make them get along with each other. Izana remembered how he looked at all of them. Mikey. Emma. Shinichiro, hoping to god that it was spite that fueled Mikey’s words, not conviction.
“It’s not true right? Shin-nii? Em?”
The terrified look on Shinichiro’s face sealed Izana’s fate forever.
“I-I-i didn’t mean i-” she starts to stutter, tears gathering in her eyes. It’s obvious that she can recognize the heartbreak in his violent hues, blankly staring at her, disappointed. He wants to say something, but all that manages to come out is air. Of all the things she could say to him, why did it have to be this one?
“Izana please-”
He doesn’t let her finish, turning on his heel and walking as fast as possible. People were quick to clear out of his way, not wanting to be his target of aggression when he eventually snapped. He ignored Emma trying to reach him, shouting his name at the top of her lungs with strings of apologies as he walked back to where he bike sat.
“Izana, wait please-” she screamed from the crowd of people, tears streaming from her yellow eyes. He continued to ignore her as he hopped on his bike, sliding in the key and revving up the engine before she could reach him.
“Izana please I didn’t mean it! I’m so-”
Izana zoomed away, turning Emma’s cries into background noise.
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"THANK god you’re not my real brother.”
Izana narrowly avoided crashing his bike into the tree right next to the house, hitting the breaks just in time for the bike to stop.
‘It’s all that fucking bitch’s fault!’ He seethed ‘That useless excuse of a human being caused this.’
You. An unimportant little rat that scurries around his little sister. From the first day Izana set his eyes on you, an intense hatred filled his gut. You were just there, sitting awkwardly while Emma tried to involve you in their conversation and it irked him. He hated everything about you - the way you picked your finger when you were nervous. Your bright smile you gave to only Emma when you talked about the most mundane of things. The fact that Emma would cut short their outings just to see or meet up with you.
Just your mere presence in general. He couldn’t stand you. He couldn’t stand losing his beloved sister to you
Blinded with rage, Izana throws his helmet on the tree with a guttural scream, breaking it in half. Unsatisfied with his rage, he clenched his fist and stalked towards his fraternity house, ready to beat up the first person he set his eyes on.
The doors of the fraternity house were thrown open by Izana. Shion was the first person Izana just happened to set his eyes on, the blond carrying a box of tools in his arms as he headed towards Ran’s bedroom. The taller male turned his attention just as Izana was entering the house and smiled at him.
“Hey boss, did you see your lil si-”
Izana pounced on the poor man, sending the toolbox and a confused Shion to the ground, shattering the glass table underneath them. Ignoring the broken glass digging into his skin, Izana slammed his fists straight into Shion’s face, dealing him powerful blows, cursing you as he beat up Madarame.
“(name) you stupid slut. You ruined everything! I’ll kill you, I’ll kill you, I’ll kill you-”
“Izana!”
“Stop it! You’re gonna kill him.”
Two sets of hands pulled Izana off Shion, dragging him away from the injured man. Ran is quick to help Shion up from the floor, holding the barely conscious male up. Eyes burning with irritation, Ran turned his attention to Izana who was held back by Kakucho and Mucho, heavily breathing after his rage induced breakdown.
“Izana what the hell man?” Ran cursed at him. “He was supposed to help me set up my humidifier. Look what you did!”
“Let’s take it easy, Ran, it seems like Izana had a bad day.” Kakucho reasoned, still holding Izana away from lunging at Shion once again. “You know he’s only like this when he’s stressed-”
Ran put his free hand up, silencing Kakucho completely. His violet eyes moved to Izana who was still huffing and puffing, still in Kakucho and Muto’s grip. “Look.” Ran sighed out, pinching the bridge of his nose. “We don’t want to deal with this anymore, Izana. You can’t keep taking out your anger on us. Especially for that (name) girl.”
Izana growled, his teeth clenched against each other at Ran’s words. Deep down, he knew Ran was right. Each time he saw his gift in the dustbin, it would send him into a panic induced rage and end in hitting one of his friends. Beating up everyone that wasn’t you was not the solution at all. No matter how violent he got, it still wouldn’t change the fact that his sister doesn’t want him anymore.
And it is all your fault.
Eventually, Izana relaxed, breathing through his nose gently. The two men released Izana once he calmed down before helping Ran with the barely conscious Shion to his room. The white haired male now left to his devices, crashed onto the chair, his hands on his knees. If he was going to get his sister back, he had to do it right. Maybe teach you a bitter lesson that you would never forget. Punish you for angering him and changing his little sister into something else.
Anything really, to satiate his anger.
His hand fished out his phone from his pocket, going straight to his contacts. Purple eyes rested on a familiar name, one that he hadn’t spoken to for the past eight months after a hookup. She tried to elevate herself from a hookup to his main girl, texting him non-stop and throwing herself at him.
Pathetic.
Izana liked thrill and adventure. Women who were wild on the dance floor and even wilder in the sheets were his favorite, for the same reason he loved riling up Mikey. The dopamine rush.
Sex was a drug to him. Not necessarily a favorite, just something he got a high from that was different from cocaine or LSD. The experience was a thrill, bodies meshed together in bliss as they gave into carnality until they fell over the edge. It was why he couldn’t stay with the same girl all the time, eventually their holes get accustomed to his dick and they try forming attachments to him. It gets boring.
Like this one.
He dialed the number and not even up to a minute later someone picked it. “Izana! Hey babe!” She chirped. Izana bit back a groan to avoid voicing his displeasure. She was so fucking annoying. “It’s been so long. Do you want to see me tonigh-”
“You’re (name)’s roommate right?” He could hear her deflated sigh from the phone and decided to butter her up. “Don’t worry, she’s not my type. Just need her schedule for a friend.”
“You sure?”
Izana rolled his eyes before deepening his voice to lure her in. “Sure babe. You’re the one I wanna see tonight. I see the cute pictures you sent to me. The one with you wearing those cheetah print panties, your bare tits hanging out is my favorite.”
“Really?” She sounded so excited that he liked something she sent. Pathetic.
“Really.” he breathed out. “You should wear it when you come here tonight. That is, if you tell me about your roommate’s schedule.”
“Alright!” She began excitedly, the prospect of being Izana’s girl tonight looking very tantalizing, to the point she is willing to sell out her friend. “I’ll tell you everything I know baby!”
Izana shook his head. Too easy.
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  YOU haven’t been able to stay asleep for the past few days.
It’s easy to fall asleep after a hard and stressful day at school and your part-time job. Your limbs ache from all the walking and lugging a bookbag far heavier than what you could handle -since all your e-textbooks were on your (now destroyed) laptop and phones were not allowed during lectures. And working from 5pm until 9pm at a restaurant, serving food to rude, overbearing customers only to be paid in pieces was another added stress in itself. Not to mention, studying.
But then, in all your dreams, everything you’ve pushed to the back of your memory is at the forefront. Your dream starts typically, your normal school day, waking up, dressing in your cute little blue crop sweater and jean skirt with socks. You go to classes, and then you see Mikey’s car waiting for Emma.
Things take a different turn. He’s the one getting out of the car to meet you. It’s like a siren call, him holding out his hand for you to take despite someone screaming for you to stop. And you try to reject him, you try to run away like the voice said but you end up getting trapped.
But this time, he’s not using his hands. He’s fully sheathed inside you, robbing you of every thing you hold so dear and you kick, bite and claw at him until you wake up screaming, sweat soaked all over your sheets.
You consistently dream of being violently raped by Manjiro Sano.
The next few hours until sunrise were equally horrible. You’re quietly sobbing into your pillows, praying to God to forgive you for letting Mikey touch you in the first place, assuming your reason for having such dreams was God’s divine judgment for your grievous sin. You’ve lost count on how many Bible verses you stay up reading until your eyes are bleary and the sun comes up.
No matter how much you pray and how many times you recite psalms 127 before you sleep, you can never escape Mikey in the world of dreams. He’s a virus that has invaded your thoughts, corrupting every dream you had and twisted them into nightmares.
You don’t know how long you can hold on being this sleep deprived. It’s been impairing your school life, trying to find a way to stay awake during classes only for you to fall asleep and miss the rest of it. Even when you got notes from the person next to you, reading them was always difficult because your eyes hurt so much.
 Work was even more taxing and stressful, rush week adding more stress than you could ever imagine. You found yourself spacing out more than usual when you were supposed to be taking orders. You were unable to keep up with the fast paced environment, your body feeling like a ton of bricks with every moment you make. Your eyes were heavy lidded, tired from forcing them open throughout the day.
You were so, so tired-
“Hello! Are you sleeping on me young lady?” A voice snapped at you.
Your eyes shot open and immediately you stood back straight. You must have been dozing off while taking the older lady’s order -the very thing you’ve been trying to avoid all day long. “No, not at all Ms-” you started to explain. “-I was just … what was your order aga-”
You flinched when the woman angrily slammed her fist on the table, shutting you up instantly! “So you were sleeping on the job! What kind of establishment allows this?” She screamed, attracting the attention of customers around. “I need to speak to your manager. NOW!”
You instantly began to panic at the mention of your manager. If he heard you’ve been sleeping on the job, for sure he was going to fire you, especially when he was angry you rejected his advances on the first day. You cannot afford to lose this job right now, with all your school expenses and saving up money for next session’s tuition.
“No mam” you begged, keeping your voice even as you tried to reason with her. “Th-there’s no need for that! Please! Let me take your order and I’ll-” you racked your brain for an excuse, knowing fully well your establishment does not offer free meals. “- I’ll pay for your meal! On me-”
“So you’re trying to imply I’m poor?” She interrupted you again, her tempo even higher than before. “You disrespectful little wretch! How dare you? GET ME YOUR MANAGER RIGHT NOW!”
You started begging the older woman, trying to calm her down and de-escalate the situation, but each plea only fuelled her rage. By now, every customer, every employee and just anyone in that place watched you grovel and beg this woman to calm down, some people even videoing your altercation. Your body was trembling as she screeched in your ears, calling you all sorts of names while you relentlessly apologized to her.
“What is going on here?”
You winced at the sound of your manager’s voice emerging from the backrooms. You stood stiffly as he walked to your side, using his shoulder to nudge you out of the way. “Is there something wrong Ms.?” He asked the lady. “What happened?”
“This little wretch!” She practically screeched at you, her finger wagging straight at your hung face. “She was sleeping while I was ordering! And when I pointed it out to her calmly, she called me a hag!”
Your eyes snapped open. You can tolerate people yelling at you, but lying against you is out of the question. “I did not call you anything! That’s a lie-”
“You be quiet!” Your manager yelled at you, silencing you. He turned to face the woman again, apologizing profusely for your so called rude behavior. “I promise you mam, she will be dealt with accordingly. Your order is in the house, please take that as a token of our humble apology and forgive us.”
You stood there in shock as the woman smirked satisfactorily at her now free meal. “Well. You better get rid of her!” She snarked, eyes scanning you up and down, plopping back down on her seat. “Or you’ll lose me as a patron.”
“Of course mam.” He said sweetly before switching his countenance towards you into a more irritated one. “You, come with me.”
You lowered your head once again in disappointment as you started following your manager towards the back rooms, your head lowered in shame as the eyes followed your every move to your damnation waiting for you in the manager’s office.
Your skin crawled as you felt his gaze roam your body up and down, before regaining his composure again. “You know how many complaints I have received this week just from you, (name)? How many orders you’ve messed up?”
You shook your head no in response, not trusting yourself to say anything reasonable at this point. He eyes you up and down again before scoffing at you rudely. “I only let you stay here to see that tight virgin body of yours roam around. It’s not like you’re even good at this kind of job.” He spat out, rolling his eyes. “Unfortunately for you, this is the end of the road for you here. Change out of your uniform and leave.”
“But s-”
“I said you’re FIRED. GET OUT.”
You sighed weakly, obeying your now ex-manager’s order and leaving the office. You ignored the eyes of everyone watching you exchange the too tight black jeans and green top uniform back to your white bohemian skirt and light blue top with your white jacket. Calmly, you packed your school bag and everything you owned with you and slung it over your shoulder, replacing the uniform back to the locker, dropping the key on top.
No one said goodbye to you as you left through the back door.
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  THE walk back to your dorm was quiet.
By the time you managed to catch a bus after your walk of shame and get back to campus, almost everywhere was dark and deserted. Save for only the street lamps that were beginning to dim, everywhere else was darker than usual.
You had read that there was going to be a lunar eclipse tonight between the hours of 10pm - 12am. The time boldly written on the bus’ digital clock before you got down was 10:45pm, so you already assumed it was the cause of the unnatural darkness tonight.
A long time ago, things like this would have made you excited. You loved watching the stars when you were young, trying to check on the papers your father bought to see if there was any space news available. You remember borrowing your immediate elder brother’s binoculars as a makeshift telescope, trying to piece out the stars in the sky or see if you would catch a glimpse of the comet that was said to pass through that week.
Unfortunately, you were young and foolish. Wanting to impress your father, you told him all about your book of constellations that you drew up, detailing the first star that appeared every evening, down to your crazy childish theories about aliens and space.
“Can you show me the book?” your father had asked calmly. You should have known it was dangerous for your father to be this calm, but you were too blinded by excitement to think and you gave him the book, a bright smile on your face.
Your smile fell as his large hands ripped your book into shreds, before telling you “women don’t dream.”
Maybe that was the day you stopped loving your father. You were so young and impressionable, all you wanted was for him to be proud of you, like he was with his sons. Now, you can’t even look at the stars.
The memory leaves a bitter taste in your mouth and you try to shake it off as you continue on the path.
You wondered what grievous sin you’ve committed to be so down on your luck like this.
You passed by Emma’s dorm building, another sigh escaped your lips. She told you that Draken wanted to take her out for dinner tonight, which shocked you because friends with benefits - according to what Emma herself told you- don’t go on dates or do lovey dovey stuff with each other, to avoid complicated feelings from budding.
Then again, their relationship is based on the fact that they both have feelings for each other, but Draken was not interested in a relationship.
It was already complicated before it began.
Your eyes darted up to her window, hoping her lights were on. Whenever she was alone, Emma hated sleeping in the dark. She said it reminded her of the times her mother would lock her and Izana in a dark room whenever she brought her customers in. Anytime she was in a darkened room, she told you she could still hear the sound of her mother moaning and a man grunting. Izana would try his best to distract her, playing games or even stealing an earphone and plugging it to his own so that she would listen to music instead of what was going on.
A frown graced your lips when you saw two bodies from the curtain, one tall figure you recognize as Draken and Emma’s smaller dainty figure perched on him, kissing. You quickly averted your eyes and walked faster, ignoring the unfamiliar pang in your chest. Maybe you’re jealous because you needed your friend’s comfort right now and she wasn’t available.
‘She has her own life to live. And I have mine’ you muttered to yourself as you trudged along the path, slowly dragging your feet. ‘I have to stop being so dependent on her.’
Eventually, your thoughts drift back to your reoccurring dream. Losing your job made you realize that if you didn’t do anything about it, your tiredness would eventually catch up to you and ruin everything else you’ve worked for. With an important test scheduled for tomorrow, you knew you could not afford to take another loss this week. You had to power through your sleep tonight, even if it traumatized you.
‘Maybe I should pretend that I like it. Pretend it’s okay and enjoy it so that I won’t have to wake up.’ You shook your head, cursing as you drew closer to your own dorm building. ‘How far I’ve fallen. Look at me trying to enjoy a disgraceful act-’
You paused in your tracks at the sound of a leaf crushing. You quickly turned around, trying to ascertain who could be lurking there behind the bushes. Your palms started sweating, your nerves firing at the thought of being watched by someone or something.
Silence.
You decided to continue walking, assuming that maybe you were hearing things and there wasn’t anything at all. Night time always had a way of making you nervous, especially with all the horrible stories you heard about innocent women being attacked around these times. Besides, looking around for whatever may be lurking was a dumb idea.
You should just try to get out of here.
Still, the nervousness and unease you feel doesn’t leave you. Your heart rate became abnormal as you started walking faster, only for you to hear mismatched footsteps behind you.
‘Run.’
You sprinted away as fast as possible, not even bothering to look back to see what was chasing you. At this point, all that was important was for you to get into your dorm room as soon as possible, the fear of the unknown running down your spine.
Your lungs burned from having to sprint at full speed after not exercising for years now, your leg muscles aching but you dare not stop running from what might be behind you. A glimpse of light peeking through the cracks of your dorm house beckoned you to run even faster, until you reached the door.
Your heart rate picked up as you attempted to twist the door handle open, only for you to realize that it was locked early today -of all the times that the school took security seriously it just had to be now. After a few more frazzled and failed attempts, you started pounding on the doors and screaming for anyone to let you in. “Please! Open the door, I’m being chased! Help!” You screamed frantically, shaking the large doors with how hard your fists hit them. “Open the door-”
Unfortunately, your luck ran out and nobody answered you or said anything. You kept on screaming as footsteps approached you, slowing down as you harshly pounded on the door for someone, anyone to help you. Your cries became even more frantic, shouting for help anywhere, anyhow, fear taking over your rational senses.
‘God please, please, please save me, please please please’
A loud blood curdling scream rips out of your throat as arms around your waist and chest before dragging your body into the nearby bushes, discarding your bag on the floor. Your limbs flail around, trying to hit your attacker in any way so that they can release you, and you can run back to Emma’s dorm.
All it did was enraged them.
The person threw you on the ground, the grass and dirt harshly brushing against your face and body, dirtying your white skirt and jacket. You attempted to get up, only for someone to jump on top of you, pushing their weight onto you so that you can’t.
‘No. No. No-’
You reached up to the person’s chest, trying to shove them off your body, but they didn’t budge pushing themselves further onto you. You decided to use your long nails to scratch them, drawing three long lines on their cheek, anything that could distract them so that you can fight back.
“You bitch.”
Your world froze over the moment you recognized that voice, heartbeat almost stopping completely. Your eyes fearfully locked with his bloodshot purple ones staring right back at you, silver hair reflecting in the street light just a few steps ahead of you.
‘Izana-’
What did you even do to him? After the Mikey incident, you avoided the brothers like a plague, not wanting to piss them off or a repeat of what had happened. You even told Emma she should start talking to them, so why was this happening to you?
Before you could scream, his fist came in contact with your face. The pain was unbearable, black spots clouding your vision as you tried to make sense of what was happening. He hit you again, this time on your jaw, forcing you to bite your tongue so hard it bled.
“This is what bitches like you deserve. This is what you get when you don’t stay in your fucking lane.” he spat out, slapping you across the face hard, your eyes rolled back and blacked out for a second, only for him to keep beating you up, emphasizing on each syllable with a violent slap. “Everything was fine until you came. You evil little bitch. You ruined everything!”
Tan hands found purchase around your neck, both pressing down until your air supply was cut off. Panic filled your gut the moment you looked at his face once again, eyes blown out wide, teeth gritted against each other so hard, it could crack. His face twisted grotesque with how hard he was looking at you, white dust scattered around his nostrils. You reached out to his hands, clawing and scratching at them until you drew blood, kicking your legs so that he’ll become unbalanced and loosen his grip.
It was as if he was immune to pain. Nothing you did worked.
“I’m going to kill you.” He hissed slowly, bending his face towards yours until his hot breath hit your skin. “I’m going to kill you and send your dead body to Emma. Nothing will EVER come between me and her. I’ll kill anyone that comes between us!”
‘God. God. God’
You watched as his lips curled up into a smile at the frightened look on your face when you realized how serious his threat was. Your nails dug harder into his skin, tears rolling down your face as you fought for your life. You didn’t want to die. Not like this. Alone, terrified, in the hands of a crazed man and his vice-like grip forcing you to stay in place.
Izana loved every second of it. Watching you tremble in fear as you fought back was nothing short of priceless. Sure he was holding back majorly because this was a lesson, but watching you beg for your life whilst fighting him has his blood rushing down to a particular place.
Eventually all your fight gave way to fear of death. You didn’t know when you started begging for your life, until your lightheaded brain began to register that the garbled, choked and broken pleas and apologies were coming from you.
“I’m s-orry, i’m so-orry- s-orry-”
You don’t know how long you’ve begged, waiting for death to take you while your body writhes in agony. Your eyes glance up to the moonless sky, memories of your younger self flashing before your very eyes, staring at the stars with wonder, dreaming of being amongst them. Your head feels light, your eyes unfocused and body turning cold-
Your eyes shot open the moment his hands left your neck. Instantly, you’re gulping for air, coughing and sputtering as he sits on top of you, his hands on either side of your head. Izana scrutinized you under his watchful gaze, eyes drinking in the sight of your mascara running down your bloodied face, glossed lips parted open for him, taking in air.
You’re so… weak and powerless underneath him, unable to do anything and yet you fought for your life, knowing you would lose to him.
That rawness of fear that acted up as your life flashed before your very eyes shifted something in him. You’re just a weak girl. A weak, vulnerable little girl who thinks she has a bark that he can do whatever he wants to her.
He almost cannot believe the boner growing in his pants right now. He’s never felt this way for you. Meek girls were always so boring to him and yet he wants to fuck you. He wants to claim you as his own personal toy only he can play with.
The familiar thrill, once again. He’s feeling it with you.
You’re still coughing and sputtering as you lay on the ground when Izana mindlessly gets off you. He’s conflicted within himself, wondering if he should leave you for another time or relieve himself there and then. There’s just something so sexy to him about your helpless body at his mercy, he could decide if he wanted to take you here and you would never be able to fight back.
His eyes flickered to your open mouth. That will do.
“Get on your knees.”
Not wanting to take another chance at life, you obeyed instantly ignoring your body aches as you kneel in front of him. Your mouth goes dry when you hear the clinking of his belt and his zipper go down. He moves closer to you until his crotch is right next to your face, shuffling his boxers until his cock springs out, slapping your cheek hard before resting his tip on your lips.
No.
Not again. You can’t go through this again. You already have nightmares of Mikey raping you, you didn’t need Izana there too. 
“Please, I don’t want-”
“Open your mouth.”
You gulped, forcing your eyes closed as your lips parted, opening it for him just enough for his cock to enter. “Izana, please. I’ve never done this before. Please don’t make me do this. Pleas-” you tried to beg, but Izana did not care, rubbing his shaft with pre leaking from his tip.
“Unless you want me to kill you, keep it open.”
A hand reached behind your head ignoring your protests holding it in place as his cock forced its way into your oral orifice, hitting the back of your throat with a loud groan of pleasure escaping his lips. Your gag reflex acted instantly, making you want to pull away but his hand was too strong, forcing you to stay put and take his cock.
Izana wasted no time, his hips rolling his cock inside your wet mouth at a brutal pace. Strings of curses left his lips with each thrust, relishing in the euphoric pleasure of riding your face, fucking into your pretty little mouth. The hot tears rolling down your cheeks, spittle pouring from your lips and the vibrations of your gagging nearly drove him mad.
Why hadn’t he done this earlier?
“That’s it -fuck- you little slut.” Izana hissed, each thrust into your mouth making a loud, wet pornographic noise. “This is -ahn shitshitshit- what you’re good f-for.” He groaned, his hips thrusting faster into your mouth. “Ahn, ahn ugh- f-fuck, s-should h-have fuck-ked you a-at that party ahn-”
You felt dizzy as he continued assaulting your mouth for his pleasure. Dark spots began to gather around your vision as he increased his pace, choking hard on his fat dick with each roll. Your knees ache from digging into the ground hard, your fingers buried in the sand as he fucked your mouth with reckless abandon.
You don’t think you can stay awake anymore. Your head hurts from how hard his grip is. Your throat hurts, your knees hurt, your head feels like you’re floating with how you’re not breathing properly.
You don’t feel good. It hurts so much but you can’t fight back.
“That’s it- ahn ugh fuckfuck-” he quickened his pace to speed up the process of his orgasm. Makoto had only given him three hours, and he is sure they’re almost up. “Yeah, this mouth is for me! Only for me-ahn ahn- you’re my fucking tight slut. Mineminemin- ah-”
Izana thrusted deep into your mouth thrice before cumming hard, pushing his bitter cum down your throat with a low groan, his purple eyes rolling to the back of his head. At the same time, your body instantly gave out, going limp in his hold as his cock slid out of your mouth, falling on the grassy ground with a dull thud.
He adjusted himself again, tucking his now flaccid cock in his pants and wearing them properly. Izana gave you one last look, glancing at your unconscious body before laughing to himself, kicking your shivering form out of his way as he started his journey back to the Tenjiku house.
“Perhaps Mikey was right. You have some use.”
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Bonus scene:
LOVE hated mornings.
Groaning at the fact that she had woken up so early in the morning - 5am to be exact, when her first class was by 2pm, the gyaru tried going back to sleep.
After tossing and turning underneath her blanket, the girl huffed, pushing herself off the bed until her feet touched the ground. Running her hand through her blond hair, she sluggishly walked towards the door, careful not to wake her roommate up.
“Maybe I should get some air, I’m sure it’ll help me sleep back.”
The girl found herself trudging out of the dorms, pushing the door open for her to leave. Not even two steps out of the dorms, Love tripped on something, falling face first on the mahogany floors.
“Ouch!” she hissed, grimacing as she sat up, rubbing her nose. “I just got this nose job done. What gives-”
She stopped short on seeing a blue bag with books scattered everywhere. Her hand reached out to one of them with a name written on it.
“(name) (last name)?” She read it to herself, scoffing the moment she recognized who it was. “That girl always follows the Sano girl like a lost pup. Tch. What’s her stuff even doing out here?”
Deciding not to care about the bag, she dropped the book back and stood up. “Whatever, I’m going on my walk.” She shrugged, walking away from the building to the empty roads. The morning breeze danced on her skin, playing with tendrils of her bleached hair as she walked.
Despite the peaceful aura, Love couldn’t feel at peace with herself. A sense of nervousness crept upon her as she walked, as if there was something wrong. Come to think of it, maybe she shouldn’t have left your bag just like that. It was strange to see your stuff left on the porch.
Unless.
Love didn’t know why her feet started taking her to the hedge just across her dorm building. She was always told that from her young age, she had a heightened sense of danger and as of now, she didn’t doubt that something was wrong.
“Alright. Let’s see what’s going on.” She breathed out, opening the hedge completely.
Her stomach dropped the second she caught sight of a white skirt dirtied in the sand. Quickly, the gyaru ran over to where your body laid and stopped, gasping at the extent of the damage done to your face and neck. She knelt over, picking your unconscious body onto her lap. Her fingers checked for a pulse, realizing how weak it was against your cold skin.
“Oh no, no.” Her voice trembled, throwing off her comfy jacket and wrapping it around you to warm you up. “This isn’t right-”
As her fingers started to dial the emergency number, she wondered what you could have done to deserve this. Yes you followed Emma around, but you were a good girl who hasn’t done anyone harm. Love had always seen you as too sweet, so whoever did this to you was evil.
“Please, stay with me, (name). Stay with me.”
The line finally went through and an operator spoke. “911, what’s your emergency?”
“A girl… a girl was attacked, please hurry, her pulse is weak.”
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Special thanks to: @honeybleed @manjibunny @reiners-milkbiddies @izanaki707 @rukiaslvr @ilovetwodmen @bbykoo-7 @tenjikusstuff4 @cockonoi @koffeenoe @kodzukein @lostsomewhereinthegarden @cashout-princess @aliyxh-o @kay-bear200 @iluv-ace @vixensbrainrotts @missgab @urmomsksk @sweeytheart @charcoal-xl @kokoch4n3l @aliss0n-love-blog @haikyuusboringassmanager @eattmeowt
monica's after note: honestly, after everything that has happened to me last week, I debated if I should put this chapter out or just give up on the project completely. the only reason i put it out is because i made a promise to myself to finish this series this year and i already have the skeletal work drafted out.
please it doesn't take anything for any of you to be respectful to me and yourselves. if you're angry that an author is delaying posting a chapter a few weeks always remember that we are real people, with real lives. the bigoted and racist comments i got last week should be the first and last i should ever see on my account. you saw that i made due with my threat and posted this as i said i would. if you wish to send anon asks, i apologize but they are off permanently. this is also due to the misbehaviour of a certain individual that caused this. do not also go to my mutual's inbox and start talking about me.
to everyone who supported me and sent me support throughout that difficult period of my time on here, thank you very much. you inspired me to keep going and really did not taint my image on this fic. i pray each one of you finds help in the day of your trouble. y'all are real ones.
on a lighter note, i'm pretty salty no one got my haruchiyo reference in the first chapter 'laugh haruchiyo' 'smile (name)' like cmon 😭😭😭 it was THAT obvious /j
edit: please comments and reblogs are highly appreciated. Forgot to add this.
465 notes · View notes
ivystoryweaver · 10 months
Text
With You part 3
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<- prev   next ->  ||  Fic Masterlist  ||  My Masterlist
Summary: Jake Lockley has finally met you. What does he think of you, and will he, or Marc, give you any answers?
Pairings: Marc Spector x reader, Jake Lockley x reader (implied Steven Grant x reader). Gender neutral reader. No use of Y/N. Reader is engaged to Marc and Steven.
Word Count: 3k
Warnings/notables: Angst, comfort, references to drinking and alcoholism but it doesn’t happen here, sex but the language is not explicit and no gender-specific body parts mentioned, nightmare, brief crying, cursing, assumptions, longing, feeling inadequate, Khonshu is mean here yall, somebody hug marc spector. Let me know if I missed a warning. Probably inaccurate DID, based on the show.
Dividers by saradika
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PREVIOUSLY, on “With You”...
Jake could live without Marc and Steven knowing about him. He’d lived that way all this time, but you were something else. He hadn’t wanted to meet you like this. He had screwed up, and now you were only worried about Marc. He was worried too, honestly.
Now you would never want to know him.
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“I’ll sleep on the couch,” Jake decided, by which he was effectively deciding to do nothing. He may be able to eliminate the vilest creatures under night’s shadow, but trying to explain to you that he was the reason your fiancé obliterated his sobriety...
Jake didn’t fear anything. In fact, as the streets of London descended from depraved men to monstrous supernatural threats, he relished his role as Khonshu’s vengeful fist. Someone had to do it, and Jake was suited to the task.
A creature of the night, he savored the quiet, cool leather interior of his car as much as the dingy London air whipping through his white cape. And the more challenging his vicious foes, the more Jake reveled in it. He protected people. That was his sole purpose.
Including Marc and Steven.
So the fact that he somehow missed Marc tossing back a bottle of whiskey and upsetting you in the process, well - if he couldn’t protect you and his alters, then he had no reason to exist. 
So, time for bed. He would fade into darkness and you would get back who you really wanted.
Reaching to scoop up each item of clothing he had discarded, with none of this explained aloud to you, he turned to flee.
“Wait,” you pleaded, blocking his pathway out of the bedroom, your hands reaching out to push back gently against the pile in his arms. His gaze fell on yours - open, yet unreadable. Not menacing, but not to be bothered. His eyes didn’t flicker away like Marc’s. He stared you down, waiting.
 “Just wait a second, Jake,” you found yourself whispering, a bit transfixed. “Where do you usually sleep?”
Lips parting in anticipation, your heart did some clichéd somersaulting as he tore his eyes from yours and nodded to your bed.
“You sleep with me?” You clarified, dumbfounded.
Dark eyes flickered momentarily down to your mouth. His tongue swiped over the fullness of his bottom lip before dragging it between his teeth.
“I sleep with you.” 
The rich timbre of his voice electrified you.
“Only so you can wake up with them.”
Air rushed out of you in a mildly dramatic exhale. What was this man doing to you? 
“Please,” you whispered, unsure of what you were even asking him. Mostly, you didn’t want to be without them. You had waited all night, terrified. “Don’t go. I was so worried.”
Eyes narrowing suspiciously, Jake nodded once. He knew what you needed, and it wasn’t him.
Ten minutes later, after what was, for you, an unbearable silence, Jake climbed into bed with you. Having washed up and making his well-fitting ensemble disappear somehow (where did he keep his clothes?), he decided on Steven’s soft pajamas. The sleeves sagged adorably, covering his hands, but Jake’s fingers didn’t fidget like his alter’s. 
How many times had he done this? Pretended to be them? And were you okay with it? Was it even really your business? It was his body too. 
The lights remained off from before, allowing you the cover of darkness to ease under the blankets, as if acting in a play. 
If Marc were with you, he would pull your back against his chest, folding you close until either your body relaxed, or until his lips breathed salacious words on your ear while his hand slipped between your legs. Either that, or he would bury his face in your tummy, the way he had done that morning. That, too, often ended up with him between your legs. 
For Steven, it was the crook of your neck, latched on to you like a koala. After years of sleeping poorly, or trying his damndest to stay awake and not “sleepwalk”, nothing soothed him more than your soft skin and reassuring arms. He marvelously discovered that, with you, he had no trouble falling asleep at all. For Steven, the mornings were when he needed you most. The two of you would race to the bathroom, playfully fighting over who would freshen up first before tumbling back into bed, where he would be sure to end up between your legs. 
But here, now, Jake was a statue. 
You were Marc and Steven’s whole world. Jake knew he had fucked up enough for one week. There was no way he was moving one millimeter in this bed. Hopefully, the warm surge in this heart would settle to the soothing sound of your breathing. That was his balm - you were his anchor. After the cracking of bones and the wailing of night’s creatures deafening his ears - the gentle rise and fall of your chest in the night was his lullaby.
But he didn’t dare touch you. You weren’t his. 
Sometimes you attached yourself to him the night, or maybe he only dreamed that you did. He was never him when sleep ended.
Feeling the tension rolling off you, the urge to somehow alleviate your worries taunted him. But he was certain he didn’t even possess the ability to soothe, only to punish.
So he said nothing. He did nothing. He waited for sleep.
“Jake...” As you turned to him, your sweet voice crawled up his neck, intoxicating him utterly. “Would it be okay if I held your hand?”
The memory of your smooth skin was seared into his memory from the featherlight kiss he’d given your knuckles. He didn’t even hesitate to grasp for you in the dark, tangling his fingers with yours.
Pressing your face to the soft fabric covering his shoulder, you, undeniably realistic you, accepted this real moment. You wanted answers. You wanted a lot of things. He gave you his hand. You took what was here, now.
“I’m glad to know you, Jake,” you whispered, your heavy eyes sliding closed, despite everything. Squeezing his fingers, and swiping your thumb softly along his, you added, “I hope you’ll come back to me soon.”
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You woke up to a mess of chocolate curls buried in your stomach.
Marc. 
Your sweet, tormented angel. 
There was a slight chance it wasn’t Marc, but the familiar whimpers of a nightmare gave him away even more than tummy cuddles. 
“Shhh,” you soothed, raking your fingernails through his messy waves. “I’ve got you.”
He squeezed you, murmuring, “No,” brokenly before whimpering again. His nightmares weren’t flailing arms and shouts like in films. They were this: soft, pleading mumbles and anguished pleas.
With a sudden change in his breath, he was awake, eyes darting wildly as he climbed his way up your body, hands checking you frantically.
“Right here, baby,” you murmured, eyes soft and full of love. He looked so broken, you wanted to cry, while desire simultaneously ripped up your spine. Whatever this man of yours needed, you were going to give him, likely, to your great pleasure and benefit. Win-win. 
“You’re here,” he repeated, gathering you in his strong arms as the weight of his body crushed you in the most delicious way. “I dreamed you were gone. You left, or...or someone took you away from me.”
“Never,” you uttered with conviction, pressing your lips to the corner of his jaw, opening your mouth to breathe hotly before kissing a trail to his ear. “I’ll never let that happen. I’ll burn down the whole world first.”
A choked sob erupted from his chest as he whispered your name. Fusing his lips with yours, his fingers gripped your jaw desperately as if he feared you would quite literally slip through them.
Responding to the press of his body like a partner in a well-rehearsed dance, your legs fell open, ready to feel the heat of him consuming you. His mouth hadn’t left yours, but his thick fingers dragged (his) t-shirt up your torso and over your head.
Only then, when your lips parted, did his dark, desperate gaze lock onto yours. “Need you,” he groaned, his voice tinged with the slight beg you associated with Steven.
Surging forward, you met his furious kiss with equal hunger, pushing under his soft pajamas, pulling, dragging until your naked limbs were tangled, pressing and pulling in desperate passion. 
“You’re mine,” he growled, deep inside you, claiming you, as if you had any doubt or desire to be apart from him. “He can’t h-have you. I won’t let him.”
You were oddly turned on by the idea that maybe he sounded jealous of Jake, who had merely held your hand in the dark.
He didn’t mean Jake.
In fact, he wasn’t even aware you’d held an audience with his mysterious alter.
No, he meant the twisted, deceitful, formidable Egyptian god of the moon, to whom he remained enslaved. The one who took you away in his dream.
The things Marc was doing to your body - you could barely think straight. Your back arched in pleasure, your fingers clawing at the sculpted muscles of his back, desperate to somehow bring him even closer to you. 
“I’m yours,” you gasped, realizing with the deep moan that followed, that you didn’t really have control over your voice at this point.
“Mine,” he repeated, as you drowned in him, and he in you. 
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After a long, hot shower together, filled with salacious kisses and some very naughty handiwork, the two of you finally made it to the kitchen. Just like in bed, you danced around one another with practiced ease, as if perfectly executing the blocking of a play. Your hand reached for the coffee grounds, while he readied the filter. He found the bread while you produced his favorite jam.
Shoulders rubbed and soft smiles were exchanged, eyes longingly dancing, locking and flittering away to the tasks at hand. 
“Thank you,” he finally said, leaning in to press a kiss to your temple, “for this morning.”
You almost teased him for thanking you for what you two did quite regularly in bed, but you knew what he meant. Whatever anchor he’d needed this morning, you were it. 
Still, you were a cheeky one, as Steven frequently reminded you... “I should be thanking you, baby,” you innocently purred. “That thing you did...when you turned me over, holy shit--”
“Okay, okay,” he laughed out, motioning for you to get back to breakfast, as if he would ever actually order you about. “You and your dirty mind, I swear to god.” 
You laughed out delightedly. “That’s rich, Mr. Spector.”
One of his dark eyebrows shot up. “Call me ‘Mr. Spector’ again and I’ll take you right back in there,” he playfully warned. 
Tempting. 
The toast popped up to interrupt the two of you, giving Marc’s thoughts just enough time to drift back to much more serious matters. He wanted to be with you all day today. He knew Steven had class at uni and you had work - he didn’t care. He needed you to know things.
“Hey, um...” he started, before you could make another quip about Mr. Spector or the bedroom, “I...I meant to tell you...” reaching up to rub the back of his neck, he swallowed nervously. “I--there’s another bottle. In the flat.” 
Bracing his hands on the countertop, his head dropped. It was hard to look at you when he thought he might disappoint you. “I wasn’t trying to hide it, I just...that night, I...”
Reaching over, you laid your hand over his, there on the counter’s edge. “Thank you for letting me know. Do you want to tell me where it is?”
His eyes darted over to yours and he swallowed hard. “The low shelf, down by the edge of that old table I haven’t fixed yet.”
Ah yes, the ‘don’t throw it out, I can fix it’ project that was cluttering your living room. Steven collected books; Marc collected abandoned, broken things...
“Hm,” you hummed thoughtfully, “Steven’s reading chair is right there. He’s going to figure this out, you know.”
“I know,” Marc quickly responded. “I think I wanted him to. Or you. I don’t know...” He didn’t wait for any sympathy. There was too much to tell you before he completely train wrecked his entire life.
“Something happened,” he pressed on, determined. Then he told you. Head bowed, hands gripping the counter, he explained.
You remained completely still at first, but you noticed that the more you acted normal, the easier it was for him to talk. So you finished the coffee, slathered the toast with jam, and walked everything to the tiny table at the kitchen’s edge, where the two of you loved to share your favorite meal almost every single day.
He had fronted a few days ago. It was dark, cold. He was outside, in an unlit, ominously quiet alley. He didn’t know where he was. Steven wasn’t there with him. He reached for his phone and shook with horror at the white bandage-looking material wrapped around his hands. Realizing his face was covered with a mask, he started to panic when the fabric quickly receded, leaving him gasping.
His body was covered in Moon Knight’s mummified wrap. 
“No, no, no, no,” he cried, forgetting, for a moment, that he could simply will the suit away, and clawing at the material instead. 
Then he heard it. Him.
“Marc Spector,” the booming voice of Khonshu splintered through his mind, wracking his body with terror. 
“No, NO,” Marc shouted, climbing to his feet and pressing his palms into his forehead. “You’re gone. I don’t belong to you anymore!” 
He ran, clinging to control of the body, determined not to allow Khonshu anywhere near Steven. Or you. 
The old god’s skeletal form appeared on various rooftops, following and taunting Marc, his voice eerie and all consuming, as if the bird were nearly shouting into his ear. 
“Run away if you can. This body doesn’t belong to you,” the voice taunted. 
“Leave me alone!” Marc shouted, but it came out as more of a whimper, like trying to scream for help in a dream. “We had a deal!” He halted, banging his fists against his head as if it would make the ancient being simply evaporate. 
But the spiteful deity scoffed, turning his bony back as if done with the conversation. Turning his menacing beak back toward the puny one in control of his avatar, he replied, “Lockley is mine, and so are you.”
Then he vanished. 
Just the relief of the god disappearing urged Marc’s legs forward, stumbling through angry tears until he reached your home. You were at work. He paced the flat, tugging his hands through his hair, desperate to keep Steven in the dark. 
“It can’t be,” he gasped, over and over again, trying to convince himself. “We’re free. We made a deal. We’re free.” This overwhelm would normally bring Steven to the front, but Marc held on, pacing himself to exhaustion. He was asleep on the couch by the time you came home. 
You woke up to Steven. And while you worked your next shift, he bought the whiskey. 
He waited another day to drink it.
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“I thought maybe...I wondered if I had completely lost my mind,” he uttered, finishing his story, now seated at the kitchen table.
Easing off your chair, you knelt in front of your fiancé, setting your palms gently on his thighs.
“Don’t say that.”
“No, I mean really,” he went on, his hands covering your own, grasping at your fingers. “I thought...what if all this time, Khonshu was in my head? Like...part of me.”
“Like another alter?” you questioned, peering up at him.
“Maybe. I started wondering about all of this Moon Knight bullshit--if it even really happened. And, now there’s this Lockley...” Trailing off he sighed, defeated. 
Okay, progress was happening. Might as well get it all out in the open. 
“I met him, you know,” you carefully admitted, smoothing your thumb over his as you waited for his reaction. “Lockley.”
“Shit,” he rasped, gripping your hands desperately. “He was here, with you? What did he say?”
“Not much,” you admitted. “His name is Jake. Jake Lockley. He was here last night.”
“Here in the flat?”
“Yes. Late last night. He came in through the bedroom window like Spider-Man or something. We talked for a minute, he told me his name and then we went to bed. I didn’t really find out that much about him.”
Releasing your fingers, Marc sat up straight in his kitchen chair, his eyes darkening possessively. “He went to bed with you?”
Hm. You could have worded that better. “Marc, I--”
“Did he touch you?” His jaw clenched, the muscles in his neck straining as his dark eyes burned turbulently. 
“It wasn’t like that,” you protested, quickly climbing up off the ground to stand in front of him. Caressing his face tenderly, you shook your head. “I wanted to talk to him - to see what the hell is going on. He seemed worried about you drinking.”
“You talked to him about that?” Marc pushed off his chair then, pacing across the kitchen and back. “I haven’t even talked to him yet.” 
Fair enough. 
“I’m sorry, sweetheart, it just came out,” you confessed, giving him a little space, while pushing down your urge to grab him. “Jake was about to leave, and I wanted some answers. I wanted you all here with me. He came home so late, Marc, and your phone was dead. I was so fucking scared...”
Your breath hitched as tears clouded your eyes. “You’ve been so upset, and the drinking... Steven doesn’t have any idea what’s going on and then this Jake uses the damn window in the middle of the night and I thought he was going to leave, and go back out in the night, with no phone. I wanted you here, Marc, so...so I asked him to stay. I asked him if he knew what was going on, or why you had been drinking--”
“Okay, baby, okay,” he conceded, reaching for your shoulders to bring you close. “I’m sorry. It’s not your fault.”
The two of you held one another in the middle of your drafty little kitchen, the shared answers between you only raising more questions. 
“I think you should talk to Steven,” you suggested gently, “if you feel ready.”
Resting his forehead against yours, he rubbed your back soothingly. “Yeah. And maybe...maybe Jake too.”
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tags requested @rivalriotrenegade @wordacadabra
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thecuriousquest · 10 months
Text
What Happened to Your Tag?
Yandere Kakashi Hatake x Reader
Warnings: implied kidnapping, implied Stockholm Syndrome, slapping, stripping, electrocution, abuse/wrongful punishment, Yandere themes
Checkout my Master List here.
Part Two
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His usually calm disposition turns into outrage, and you are in fear of your life. The silver haired ninja stalks towards you like a panther, making you cower in the corner.
“What’s wrong, Kakashi?” You ask nervously.
“Oh, I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong, Y/N.” He grabs you, forcing you on your feet, pulling you in close. “Did you attempt to remove the tags in your room?”
You know he’s referring to the tags that keep you within the barrier of your room. When you found that you could leave, you thought Kakashi was just being nice and letting you roam the house for the day.
“What?” You have no idea what he’s talking about. “No, all I did today was move a bookshelf and read. I-”
You never got the chance to finish that sentence as he cut you off with a sharp slap to the face. If he didn’t have a tight hold on your arm, you would have fallen to the ground.
“Ah! Kakashi, what the hell?!”
“If you think I’m going to put up with your insolence for one more second, think again. I could lock you in a cage. I could break your legs at any moment. Is that what I have to do to keep you from running off? Is that what you want me to do?”
“No! I wasn’t trying to run!”
“Lies!” He picks you up and throws you on the couch, tearing at your clothes. “Just tell me the truth.” He finishes ripping the last of the fabric off of your body. “Don’t force me to do something we both don’t want.”
Your lip quivers. “I didn’t do anything. I was just moving the bookshelf. I’m telling you the truth. Please, you have to believe me. I would never try to leave you. I love you.”
He sends a light jolt of Chidori through your body. You cry and convulse at the sudden shock waves ripping through your muscles.
“Tell me the truth. Be honest and this can end.”
You shake your head, denying any escape attempts. He doesn’t listen, and he repeats the cycle, every shock wave growing worse.
He doesn’t stop until you’re lying there with closed eyes. He makes sure you’re still breathing, and that’s enough to satisfy him. Picking you up, Kakashi takes you to your room. He opens the door and places you on the bed, pulling a blanket over you for comfort.
It’s only when he turns around that he notices your bookshelf is in a completely different area. It’s no longer across from your bed but next to your desk. Because you moved it, it caused one of the tags on your wall to fall off. He picks up the tag, eyes going wide with horror.
Kakashi looks at you with pity. “What have I done?”
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lokisprettygirl · 6 months
Text
Brokenhearted (Daemon Targaryen x Female Reader) (Non Canon Modern AU) (18+)
Read Chapter 15 here // Series Masterlist
Chapter 16
Summary : Daemon's love and care has made your life easier post accident, however you can't help but feel that he's not being entirely truthful to you.
Warning: 18+, Smut, violent thoughts, stalking, Discussion of mensuration and Pregnancy, bloodshed, kidnapping, Abusive relationship, mention of rape, ptsd, toxic masculinity, gender norms, sexual abuse, Samantha, traumatic distressing content, Daemon is a big time smoker so if it’s something triggering don’t read it, alcohol drinking, mention of past trauma and therapy, cigarette smoking, possessive behaviour, violence, baby needs therapy, baby is trying
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It had been two weeks since you returned home from the hospital. Daemon had practically moved in with you, and it felt like he had always been there. There was no official discussion, no grand gesture. You just found a luggage full of his stuff in your room one morning and none of you said anything about it. He was taking such good care of you that this whole traumatic incident didn't feel like the worst thing that had ever happened, even though it actually was the worst experience you had ever been through in your life.
You still had the recurring nightmares and you used to see a therapist before for anxiety issues so Daemon got in touch with her and she was visiting you as well to help you deal with the aftermath of the trauma the accident had left behind.
There was just one problem, just one tiny problem, you had this ugly sinking feeling in your gut that he was hiding something from you.
Everytime he left the center, he came home almost an hour later, which didn't make sense to you because it was merely a twenty minute drive. Viserys had told you that maybe he was going to his condo but when you had asked him the same he had denied doing so. He had told you that Samantha was there and he didn't want to see her under any condition.
The next evening you had your friends over at your apartment so when Daemon came back from work, he was already a bit distracted and seeing a group of ladies just lounging in your apartment was a bit of a surprise for him. You knew you had to introduce them to each other at some point so that's what you did. Once they left he sat down on the couch next to you and kissed you softly before he slumped onto the couch.
"Tired?" You asked him softly as you raised your right hand to caress his scalp,
"No..but that feels good…keep going" you smiled as he said that. You couldn't understand how he wasn't tired, he trained himself and the new guys that turned up at the center and he was basically your caretaker for the rest of the day, taking care of your diet and medicines that you needed and were too careless to take on time.
"You had fun i see" he mumbled, making you smile, it was nice to see your friends. You always enjoyed gushing about the guys you were seeing with them but Daemon was not just some guy, he was the love of your life.
Next day as he came home he found you in the kitchen trying to do whatever you can with one capable hand and you felt his eyes on the nurse Sally who was also a bit worried about the whole situation but more than that she feared his wrath for allowing you to do this.
"Stop glaring at her, I insisted, I practically forced her to let me do this" you told him so he sighed and rubbed his forehead with his hand before he spoke.
"You can leave for the day" he told Sally so she immediately scurried off as soon as she could.
"You scare people, you know that?"
"Good. What are you doing hmm? You're supposed to be resting so you could heal" he stood behind you and hugged you like that with his arm secured around your waist and chin down on your shoulder "You're making Cheese Burger"
"Yeah well i was going to surprise you but you are early today"
He didn't say anything for a few seconds and then he just placed a soft kiss on your cheek. He was early because he had decided to not feed Samantha today, she was difficult to break but he wasn't going to give up. He had come so far to take a step back now. He had left a candy bar on the bed yesterday though, even though he wanted to be as cruel as possible he couldn't actually bring himself to be that way.
"You are magnificent darling, if i could.. I'd just fuck you right about now" he mumbled in your ears and it made you feel all tingly.
"Well you absolutely can, you choose not to"
"Husshh"
After eating while he was in the shower, you received a call from the owner of Cuisine waves telling you that they were hiring someone else in your place because they couldn't hold your job any longer. When Daemon stepped out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and found you crying with your head smushed in the pillow he was immediately right next to you,
"What is it hmm?" He asked you firmly even though he was a bit terrified.
"I lost my job..they fired me" you mumbled between your sniffles and the sight made him tear up but there was also a small smile on his face
"That's it..that is what is making you bawl my silly girl?" He asked softly so you glared at him.
"I liked working there…I felt.. comfortable..i was there for four years for a reason" you sniffled again like a baby so he wiped your tears and kissed you.
"Yeah?? felt comfy there huh?" You nodded as he questioned you and then he pampered you all day long to comfort you.
Two days later you discovered that he had bought the diner and hired you back in your previous position. You didn't know whether to cry from the sweet sentimental gesture or be infuriated by his impulses. At the end you decided to cry indeed because you knew you'd never treat him the way Samantha did. He did something nice for you in the hope that it would make you happy and feel better so you weren't going to go all mommy on him and tell him that he needed to spend his money wisely. Also, he knew better about financial management than you did.
A week later while you were alone with Sally, she had received a call informing her about a family emergency and she asked you if she could leave so you didn't really think much of it and allowed her to go. When Daemon came home he was furious you could tell but he didn't really snap at you, no, he waited for a day, kept his anger bubbling until he saw Sally again and snapped at her instead.
However once he noticed the tears in her eyes he calmed down and strictly told her to not be so careless about your safety and inform him first if she had to go somewhere.
After she had left for the day, you were watching Daemon huffing and puffing still, cursing at every little inanimate object that seemed to have irked him somehow. He even had an argument with his hair brush for not being able to get rid of his tangles.
"Come here"
You mumbled softly so he grunted and then eventually walked towards you.
"What?" He asked you as he carefully got on top of you with one of his knees between your legs and the other on the left side of your thigh.
You curled your fingers around his neck and pulled him closer to kiss him, his body was stiff at first but soon he melted with your touch. As your hand wandered down he grabbed it swiftly and pulled away to look at you.
"What are you doing?"
"You know what I am doing"
You struggled against his hold so he allowed your hand to wander lower and you slipped it under the waistband of his trouser but he grabbed it again.
"Noo"
You halted in your tracks as he said that, you had to know what he was feeling, you had to be careful with him after everything he had been through.
"Is that a no in the sense that 'Stop it I'm uncomfortable' or no as in 'I want it but I'm scared I'm going to hurt you'
His brows crinkled as you said that and he placed his forehead down on yours,
"The latter ofcourse..I can't do this love..half of your limbs are broken and you know how I get when I'm fucking you" you bit on your lips as he said that. Your eyes were glittering with different emotions,
"When did you start to love me this much?" He narrowed his eyes at the question,
"Don't get too cocky"
"Okay but I never said anything about fucking now did i? Let me just.." You mumbled as you took his cock out and gave it a few strokes, he was already hard just from the close proximity and sexual whispering in his ear "You have been so grumpy.. let me fix that"
His breathing got heavier as you worked him up and down slowly.
"Look into my eyes" your tone was sharp so he glared at you and grabbed your chin with his fingers.
"Don't talk to me like that"
"Mmmm sorry..look at me dae pleaseee"
He kissed you deeply and passionately before he did what you had asked him to, his knee that was settled between your legs had inched closer to your heated core and as he pressed it right against your damp soaked clothed flesh you let out a loud gasp,
"You need this too don't you?" he snickered as your hips gyrated against his knee.
"Of Course i do ..it's been months, the last time I touched myself was night before the accident"
"And what were you thinking of when you pleasured yourself?"
"I thought about you and how good it would feel to have your fingers playing with me instead of mine"
His finger slipped under the waistband of your shorts and panties at once as he rubbed your wet dripping lips ,
"Mmm spread your leg darling, only one of them is broken..the other one works well" he commanded in an authoritative tone and the gravel in his voice made you moan,
"Gosh I miss this side of you Daemon "
"I know you do, pampering isn't enough for you is it? You need to be put in your place once in a while"
"Mmm yesss sir..I wish I could suck on your cock, drink all of the cum you're going to spill on me"
He moaned at your words and he really wanted to please you but the way you worked him up with your touch and your filthy words were making him lose all his inhibitions, he unbuttoned your shirt until your breasts were exposed and then his mouth sucked and nipped on the erect buds while his thumb rubbed in circles over your clit and middle finger curled inside your warmth.
You didn't really need much stimulation, you have been craving his touch for months now so when you came so suddenly he was only pleased with himself. His fingers were soaking wet as he pulled them out of you, looking right in your eyes he licked them all at once into his mouth, the way his full soft lips wrapped around his own digits was the most erotic sight you had ever witnessed in life.
The ecstatic look on his face gave you enough indication that he was close and you wanted to feel it all on you, you wanted to feel his warm cum on your skin.
"Cum all over me dae…please" your whiny begging voice pushed him over the edge and he aimed for your breasts as he let go, covering every inch of your tits in his glistening cum. The constant whisper of your name as he rode through his high was enough to turn you on again.
"Feeling better?" You asked him in a sheepish manner but he kissed you in response instead of answering and got off the bed to clean the mess he had made on you, once he was done he buttoned up your shirt.
"Was I too rough?" He asked you softly so you smiled,
"Noo come here" you opened your arms, well one arm to be precise, so he sighed before he leaned down and rested his head on your chest
"What's bothering you baby?"
"Nothing I'm just worried about you"
"I'm okay now..I'll be okay"
"I know I just…I'm being stupid'
"No you're not..you're adorable like this"
"Shut up"
"Mmmhhm'
When you woke up from the nap he wasn't there in the bed with you so you called out for him but when he didn't answer you picked up your phone and called him instead
"Darling you up?" He asked you
"Yess where are you?"
"At my condo..had to grab a few of my things" he said and you felt worried thinking about him being alone there with her.
"Ummmm okay..is she there?"
"Yeah" he mumbled as he looked at Samantha, all tied up in chains and bound on the bed still,
"Okay be careful baby and come back soon okay?"
Well he wasn't the one that had to be careful anymore.
"Will be there in a flash i promise"
"I love you" you mumbled softly so he smiled.
"I love you"
Once you hung up, he got up from the chair and walked towards Samantha to take the duct tape off her mouth and she immediately began to hurl verbal abuses towards him which didn't impress him at all, it's not that he hadn't heard her creative words before. He sat back down on the chair and glared at her for a moment before he spoke,
"All of this can end Samantha, you know that right? All you have to do is prove to me that you'd confess for your crime"
"I have given you my word you bastard" she yelled at him so he let out a sound of disapproval. He didn't trust her at all.
"But I don't believe you ..I don't trust you to not change your mind"
"Daemon if I die here you'd be in prison forever..is that what you want?"
"Well at least you'd be dead ey?" He smiled and her eyes welled up in tears of anger and hurt at the same time "Don't fret though, you think I'd let you get away so easily after what you have done to her? Just a slow torturous death? No no no no" He snickered as he leaned into his chair
"I want to watch you rot in prison sweetheart"
You were on the bed waiting for Daemon to come home, being almost bedridden wasn't fun to say the least, sure you were getting to spend plenty of time with him but when he wasn't there you felt absolutely alone.
"Where is the stuff?" You asked him as he entered the room all empty handed.
"In the car..ummm in the backseat of the car" he mumbled as he took his hoodie off and his shirt followed, you were only getting pudgier everyday while he only got hotter somehow. You wondered if Samantha said something to him but you decided to not bring her up.
"Once i recover I want you to train me back to shape"
He smiled as you said that and crawled into the bed to get on top of you, you could smell the cologne mixed with the aroma of freshly burnt cigarette on him.
"In shape you silly girl? You're all perfect but I'll help you get healthy if that's what you desire" he grabbed your chin and talked to you as if you were a petulant child.
"Yeahh ..that .."
"What do you want for dinner?"
"You"
"You had me ..no more exertion..what else?"
There was a smile on his face and it made you smile even wider.
"You seem..in a good mood"
"Yeah you put me there with your little stunt this afternoon" you couldn't help but giggle at his words but then your expressions turned somber.
"I'm bored Daemon..I'm losing my mind over here"
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"You're doing enough for me..I can't ask you to be here with me 24/7" he sighed before he got off the bed and quickly walked towards the closet to put his shirt on again.
"Let's go"
"What?"
"Come on …I want to show you something "
He picked you up as carefully as he could and made you sit down on the couch as he went back in the room to grab the car keys, then he picked you up again and took you downstairs.
"Where are we going?"
"Shhhh.."
You got quiet as he gave you the eyes, he really wanted to wait for your birthday but he figured this would brighten your mood. Halfway on the road he made you close your eyes and when you opened it you were right in front of the diner. From outside it looked different, he was getting the exteriors changed now that he owned it but that was not what took you by surprise, you gasped as you looked at the new name of the diner. It was no longer Cuisine waves.
"Silly's Cheeseburger" you read the name out loud so he looked at the diner,
"It's so fucking stupid I know..I just wanted you to have a place where you'd feel at home even when you're at work and perhaps think of me every time you see the name"
He chuckled as he looked your way and he was expecting you to laugh or give him eyes or something but he saw you sniffing and crying instead, those were the tears of happiness for a change. He immediately took his seat belt off and scooted closer to comfort you,
"Sentimental little thing aren't you?"
"Shut up ..this is ..the sweetest thing..i ..oh god"
"Hey hey hey okay no crying..no more yeah?" He cooed in your ears as he embraced you as tightly as he could without hurting you. Once you had calmed down a bit he stepped out and opened the door on your side to pick you up so he could take you inside, it was all empty in there due to the renovation. The diner was going through a complete transformation.
"Wait where are ..what about the other staff?"
"Don't worry, they're all off with pay..it will reopen a week later..on your birthday" you gasped again as he revealed that.
"Gosh Daemon i love this..i love you …but is this really the best use of your money? I don't want you to regret it in future"
He smiled as you said that and made you sit down on the bill counter, cupping your cheeks he made you look at him,
"This is not just a financial investment, this place is the reason why you were there in the alley that night, the reason why I met you..why I am no longer just living but alive. I'd never ever regret anything that involves you my love, now I'd shut up because you're going to cry again and I don't like little girls who cry all the time "
You bit on your cheeks as he said that and pulled him closer to kiss him as lovingly as you could.
"You know we are not far apart in age right?"
He chuckled as you said that.
"I'm jesting darling, you can cry all you want but –"
"You hate it I know" he nodded in affirmation.
"Want to see your favorite place?"
"Do you even have to ask?"
You giggled as he picked you up again and took you to the kitchen, it was newly furnished as well, you didn't even recognise it at first.
"New burners oh my gosh, we have been complaining for so long..wait a minute– " a look of realization flashed on your face so he raised his brows .
"Does that mean you're my boss now?"
"Technically yeah..don't look so shocked though ..you know I'm your boss any which ways"
"Haha funny..do you think people will hate me for fucking the boss?" He grimaced as you said that,
"You're so crude and no.. I think they'd suck up to you instead"
"I don't want that either"
"Are you happy?"
"I'm more than happy right now dae, you have no idea how amazing you are"
Only if you knew what he was capable of he thought.
While he was grabbing dinner you were in the car by yourself and something felt off but you couldn't put your finger on it, you had the same sinking feeling in your chest now but you didn't understand why. However as soon as you were back in your apartment suddenly it dawned on you.
You looked at him as he was taking the food out, contemplating whether to ask him the question or not. He seemed happy and relaxed for once and you didn't want to ruin that but then you didn't understand why he was lying to you.
There was nothing in the backseat of his car, none of his belongings, he went to his condo to bring his stuff but he came back empty handed and he told you that his things were in the backseat of his car but you had just been there and it was empty so why did he lie to you?
Where did he go? Was he still seeing Samantha or was he in some sort of trouble with her? Millions of questions bothered you and you knew you had to figure out the truth sooner than later.
☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️
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@simbaaas-stuff @ajthefujoshi @witchybitch2 @hypocritic-trash-baby @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 @thefallenangel21n @kmc1989
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bensolosbluesaber · 2 years
Text
You’ll Never Keep Him (Poe Dameron x f!reader)
EVERYONE STOP! Please read the warnings below as this fic deals with the aftermath of rape, severe trauma, and abuse.
Warnings: Mentions of rape and sexual assault, non-explicit references to rape, reader was a victim of sexual assault and violence, reader’s trauma is shared without her consent, reader is in a very dark mental place, generally very mature themes. PLEASE do not read this fic if these might be triggering or uncomfortable for you.
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Summary: Your trauma is your best kept secret, a secret even from Poe, the person you love more than anyone else. Well, it’s a secret until a meddling ex of his gets ahold of your medical records and promptly leaks them to the whole Resistance. ~3,600 words
Angst, angst, and angst (Happy ending though)
Pairing: Poe Dameron x f!reader (she/her pronouns)
A/N: I’m serious about these warnings. Dead dove and all that. Bonus for you guys, I listened to these songs while writing this: Atlantis (Seafret), Till Forever Falls Apart (Ashe), Line Without a Hook (Ricky Montgomery)
--
For the first time in as long as you could remember, your life was good. Not just livable, but really and truly good. The First Order was nearly extinguished and with it the worst of your night terrors. You found friends, good friends: Rose, Finn, Rey. And of course there was Poe, your doting and charmingly arrogant boyfriend who - despite his reputation - had never been anything but patient at your unwillingness to have sex.
Not that he knew why. Not that anyone except Rey and a few medics knew why. You want Poe to know, and you want to sleep with him. Sleep with him that is, since you practically live together anyway. But every time you so much as think about sex your skin gets clammy and your stomach twists into knots.
That is what you are thinking about as you eat lunch with your friends. Poe is coming home tonight, and as you stare at your now empty plate, you can’t help but think that maybe tonight is the night. The usual clamminess is hardly present and your stomach is twisting, but you think that maybe this time you are feeling the same nerves anyone would feel. You might be ready. You might have finally summited your mountain of trauma.
It was a stroke of cruel irony that just as that thought had the audacity to emerge so did she - Poe Dameron’s ex. She was a brief fling during the war, and that’s all it was ever going to be. But things ended… poorly. That was how Finn explained it last week, with a pregnant pause before ‘poorly.’ Maker, it had only been last week that the woman had shown up, smiling far too big, greeting Poe with an uncomfortably long hug, shooting you a sneer over his shoulder. She transferred to this base just to get close to Poe. At least that was Rose’s working theory.
You weren’t afraid of her. Years as a spy and months of torture saw to that. Not much scared you anymore - sex not withstanding. She was no threat to your relationship; you trusted Poe’s whispered promises. 
In retrospect, you should have been more wary of her, especially when she volunteered to stitch up your arm yesterday. She had done a good job, been friendly. Too friendly.
She stands behind you and drops a data-pad on the table with a bang that makes you turn. Her arms are crossed, her mouth pulled into a smirk that was all-too familiar. ‘Guess what I know,’ it seemed to taunt you.
You glance down at the data pad then turn back to her. She raises a single eyebrow, and only then do you realize what is on the screen. Your head whips around and you snatch up the data pad. Your medical records. How had she gotten her hands on these? Only medics and nurses who treated a patient could access their records, and yesterday she had… Shit.
No. No, no, no. It’s all you can think as you stare at the bright screen with wide eyes.
“Interesting read.”
“This is private,” you hiss quietly.
“Sweetie, I’m your doctor.”
Do not make a scene. Do not make a scene. Rey is tense beside you, and across the table Finn and Rose have gone silent. The rest of the mess hall continues with their lives like this woman isn’t casually ripping open a barely healed wound in the middle of lunch.
“I thought this part was particularly interesting.” She points to the screen as she leans over you. “I never knew you went through so much after your cover was blown.”
‘Patient demonstrates behaviors (documented below) suggesting she was subjected to prolonged torture and sexual abuse. Her physical injuries (see attached scans) corroborate these findings.’
You didn’t need to read any more. In your worst months you had committed this file to memory as some sort of fucked up coping mechanism. You can recite your long list of injuries and trauma induced behaviors from memory.
The woman in front of you looks around then leans in inches from your face to whisper loudly, “What was it like to tell Poe about all of this?”
The situation has caught you so off-guard that you can’t hide the expression that clearly says you have not told him.
“Oh, sweetie!” Her tone is so condescending you want to put your fist through her throat. Obviously she already suspected Poe was clueless about this whole thing. “You haven’t told him? Well… I mean, why does he think you won’t fuck him? You know sex is essential to maintaining a good relationship with a man like Poe. He has needs.”
You’ve never been concerned with how much the Resistance gossips, how involved everyone is in each others personal lives. Not until now since clearly your sex life, or lack thereof, is the subject of interest.
“What would you know about having a good relationship with Poe?” Finn snarls from behind you. Without looking at him, you shake your head. Not here. Not where everyone can see.
“What do you want?” You need to diffuse this situation and fast.
“I just want Poe to know the truth about his little girlfriend.” Her voice grates on your ears. She straightens up, her voice getting louder with each word. “I mean if you fucked half the First Order, why not Poe? Maybe you think he’s not good enough for you? You’ll never keep him if-”
“Stop!” You bite out as you jump to your feet.
It’s becoming a scene. Her raised voice has caught the attention of a nearby table, and the silence ripples through the mess hall slowly as you stare each other down. Soon the quiet in the large space is thunderous. The woman taps at a data pad calmly. All eyes are on you.
“Don’t worry about it, hon.” She shows you the screen, and it takes a moment to realize what you are looking at. A few data pads ding, and in your mind the sound reverberates into a violent, endless ringing.
She just sent confidential medical files, your file, to everyone stationed on this base. She just sent your file to Poe.
“Sweetie, don’t be mad. Poe deserves better than some bitch who will whore herself out to the enemy for fun but not fuck…”
For an instant it is not her voice you hear.
You might make it out of here alive, but then you’ll just be some bitch who slept with the enemy.
Tears sting your eyes. She is grinning that monstrous grin. One second your eyes drop to the ground. The next they fall on her curled lips. And then you have a fistful of her crisp, white, standard issue medical jacket and are shoving her to the ground.
You hit her once. Hard. Then again. Warm red blood sprays from her nose and coats your closed fist. The next strike she tries and fails to block. She’s screaming something about how crazy you are, but you could care less as you strike her again and again. She already spilled your best kept secret to the whole Resistance. Honestly, what more did you have to lose?
“Stop. Y/N, stop!” Rey grasps your biceps and pulls you back.
“You’re fucking crazy!” The woman spits blood as she pushes herself into a sitting position.
“Rose, get her out of here before I kill her myself,” Rey snarls.
You couldn’t say how you made it to Poe’s room, just that you did and managed to seal the door behind you before you crumpled onto his bed. No doubt Rey lingered outside, maybe with Rose and Finn, trying to touch your mind through the Force without being invasive.
You sobbed into the pillow that still smelled like the man you loved. You cried until your eyes physically couldn’t produce another tear, and then you walked on shaky legs to the small bathroom to clean the blood from your hands and change into something more comfortable. The clock told you it was nearly dinner time. You wouldn’t be going.
Instead, you curled back up in Poe’s bed and clung to his pillow, imagining it was him. Even as you lay there with your clouded mind and wished Poe would come home soon, part of you dreaded his return. He’ll have seen the file. He’ll know what they did to you. He was never meant to find out this way.
He’ll know what you did. The last thought you have before your exhausted body caves into the lure of the warm sheets is that woman’s voice echoing in your mind.
Why not Poe?
You’ll never keep him.
--
Poe smiles at your sleeping form, and heads right to the fresher to clean up. He is blissfully unaware of today’s events; he ignored incoming messages all day, trying to get home as fast as possible.
Soon, he’s tucking himself into bed and pulling your back flush against his chest. It wakes you up: his warmth, a few soft kisses on your head, the wiggle of his hips against you. It is as far as he will take things with you. You set that boundary, and he respects it completely.
“Hi baby,” he whispers.
Poe is home. There is a second of relief, then you’re wide awake.
You’ll never keep him. You have to keep him. 
Normally, his return would bring nothing but joy, but now the anxiety coursing through your body has you shaking in his arms. It is utterly irrational. Poe never pressured you before, never hinted at wanting more than you were comfortable with, but your racing thoughts - poisoned by that woman - tell you that he must be lying, that he will get bored of you. That he is bored.
So you turn and kiss him. Hard. Kissing Poe is nothing new, so he wraps his arms around you, sinking into the kiss easily and thinking nothing of it until you’re half on top of him with your hand dipping to the waistband of his pants. There you hesitate. 
You’ll never keep him.
His skin is soft under your fingers and there’s a rough smattering of hair along his lower stomach.
As you start to move lower, your fingers ghosting over the curve of his hips, he whispers, “Are you sure?”
Answering him will only force you to reveal the truth. You are sure. Sure that you don’t want this and equally as sure that he does. Sure that he needs this. So instead of replying, you swing a leg over his hips, settling atop him and working your hands up and under his shirt as you kiss him again and again. It gives you a second to steel yourself for what you must do.
His hands grabs yours tightly, freezing your movements at his chest.
“You’re crying,” he murmurs.
You hardly hear him, struggling to free your hand from his grasp to give him what he must have wanted for ages. But he is much stronger than you.
“Stop,” he says kindly but firmly. “Stop.”
It’s not until he whispers your name that you finally snap out of it just enough to realize what you are doing. You’re straddling his hips. A prominent hardness pokes at your thighs. Poe’s eyes are big and confused.
“You don’t want this,” he breathes, and much to your surprise there is not a hint of anger. That doesn’t stop your desperation.
“You do,” you whisper back, and your voice is so pathetic you drop your gaze from his in shame. “I can feel it. You do.”
You grind your hips down on him. He exhales through his nose, grabs your waist, and holds you still as he fixes you with an utterly lost look.
“Not if you don’t,” Poe insists. “This is- this is a physical reaction. It’s just because I haven’t had sex in a long time.”
The words settle like rocks in the pit of your stomach. The reason Poe hasn’t had sex in a long time is you.
“I want this.” You lie and bite down on the inside of your lip until warm coppery blood fills your mouth.
You swallow it and lean down to kiss his neck, working your lips along the rough stubble on his jaw, over the tiny scar on his cheek, back to his neck.
“Baby, please. Stop.”
Warm hands guide you off him. The rejection shouldn’t sting, not when this is hardly something you actually want. But sting it does. 
Light flares in the room, bright but a soft white that you shut your eyes against as you sit and pull your knees to your chest.
“When I told you we could wait as long as you want, I meant it.” Poe sits up to lean against the wall.
You open your eyes to see his hand extended, offering you a spot on his chest. Instead you turn away to stare blankly at the wall in front of you. It’s white. Clean and sterile and white. No pattern. Just a uniform white wall that you wish would swallow you up.
You turn to him. It takes all your strength to look at his face and make your eyes focus on his handsome features. A few of your tears still linger on his cheeks. Curly brown hair sticks in every direction. The chain of his necklace peeks out from under his collar. He’s beautiful. He’s perfect and kind. And he deserves better than a girl who can’t even bring herself to sleep with him. Especially when… especially when…
“I’ve had sex.” You force the words out before you can think better of them. “Now that you’ve seen m- my medical records, don’t you feel entitled to… something?”
“Baby.” He swipes a lose strand of hair from your eyes, not missing how you shy away from his hand for a split second. You hadn’t done that in ages. “What happened before us doesn’t matter. I promise. I will-” Then his mind finally processed your question. “Now that I’ve seen what?”
You stare at Poe because how could he not have seen it? Without a word you grab his data pad, open the file from his unread messages, and pass it to Poe. Worry is written across his face. The second he realizes what he is looking at, he slams his eyes shut.
“Why would I have seen that?”
He truly has no idea.
But the dam already broke. You’ve already made the leap. There is no going back now. 
Poe sets the screen aside to wrap an arm over your trembling shoulders and draw you against his chest. You let him only because you are too emotionally drained to push away the one person who might bring you comfort, even if that is the same person with the power to bring terrible pain.
He is struggling to put the pieces together on his own, not because he’s stupid but because the truth is painful to accept.
“Talk to me.” Poe presses a kiss to the crown of your head, and your arms wrap around his waist to hold him tight. “Please, talk to me.”
You curl yourself tighter and closer to Poe so you can bury your face in the crook of his shoulder. You can’t look at him; you can barely form words. Instead you blindly grope for the data pad and hand it back to Poe.
“Are you sure?” He asks. “If you don’t want me to-”
“Everyone already knows.”
You can picture the mess hall tomorrow morning. Poe eating breakfast, blissfully ignorant of your past when, ‘Hey, Dameron. Heard your girlfriend only fucks First Order officers. Sorry for your loss.’ More likely the words would be kinder, gentler, pitying the handsome pilot who had given up his playboy ways for someone like you. And he’d… Stop! You fight back ideas about this scenario that you simply would not let happen.
It is best that he learn about it in private. Then you can try to explain.
Poe’s brows knit together, but he doesn’t question your statement. He’ll figure out what ‘everyone already knows’ means later.
You feel his chest rise shakily underneath you as he steadies himself for whatever horrors are hidden here. With his free hand he absentmindedly trails feather-light touches along your cheek.
His eyes roam the file: your name, date of birth, a picture taken the day you first arrived. It’s all standard stuff. Regular check ups. Medical tests for your flight clearance. Post-mission blood work. You had been a spy, so you had more comprehensive medical records than most. Otherwise though, it’s a normal file. Until it’s not.
He never mentioned it to you, but he had suspicions that something like this might be in your past. It was a suspicion, however, that was easy to ignore. Poe hadn’t known you in your spy days, and like most former spies, you chose to keep your past in the past. Until now.
When he gets to that part, you feel his hand still. Poe’s whole body goes tense beneath you, the muscles of his neck tightening as he swallows hard. Each word makes his heart ache for the woman in his arms, for you who had been suffering through the aftermath of such horrors alone. 
A few soft taps fill the silence as Poe searches for an answer to his other question - how did ‘everyone’ know about this?
Then Poe hisses aloud, “Fucking bitch.”
He is looking at the name of the sender.
“I’m sorry,” you whisper into his neck and choke down a sob.
“No, baby. Not you.” In an instant he has your head cradled in his hands, thumbing away your tears, bringing your reluctant gaze up to him as he realizes his mistake. “You have nothing to be sorry for. She should never have done this. No decent person would do this.”
“I should have told you before.” You try to protest, but Poe just shakes his head. His face is inches from yours, and his dark brown eyes implore you to believe him.
“You don’t owe me - or anyone else - an explanation.” His words are firm but kind. 
Another few moments pass in a heavy silence. Poe holds your face between his hands, supporting the weight of your head that suddenly feels too heavy for you to hold up yourself. The callouses on his thumbs are rough against your skin. They are the only thing that feels real right now.
“I- I-” Just say it, you think. Just say it. Tell him what the file doesn’t. “I wouldn’t give them any information.” There is a certain pride in your voice as you say those words. “When my cover was blown, they tortured me, and I was strong. I was so strong.” Your voice cracks on the last word making Poe swallow hard. Your words sound like you are reading from a book rather than recounting your memories. “They thought they could try a new way to break me. It didn’t work. Eventually they weren’t even looking for information anymore. It was just fun for them. So I used that. I got close to the right people, and when they let their guard down I escaped.”
Your whole body is shaking as memories drown any rational thoughts you had left.
“I did it to survive." You meet his gaze and hold it desperately. “I did it to survive. It wasn’t fun. Poe, you have to believe me, I did what I had to. Please! Please, Poe. Please.”
“Of course I believe you.” His voice is a calm low rumble, and he repeats the words with even more conviction. “ I believe you. Come here.”
He wraps his large hand around the back of your neck, his fingers splayed wide across your skin as he pulls you into what you will later call the best hug of your life. Your head tucks under his chin. His other hand comes around your waist to hold you close.
The second he has you secure against him, he lets his own tears spill over. He didn’t want you to see him crying, knowing one of you had to maintain a calm facade through this. You deserved the entire galaxy, and what you had gotten was a slimy alley on some shit planet. He wanted to pull down the stars and bath you in their light. He wanted to kill the people who had done this to you. He wanted revenge on the woman who had made your trauma part of some sick game to get him back. Only his faith in Rose, Rey, and Finn kept him from hunting her down right now. He was certain they had dealt with her, and you needed him here.
“I love you,” he whispers the words. “And I’m not going anywhere.”
He really isn’t angry with you. The realization comes slowly then all at once. It brings with it a bit of embarrassment at your earlier actions. Before that thought can really settle, the exhaustion hits. Exhaustion from spending hours crying and worrying until your nerves were so shot you could hardly think straight.
Poe feels your body relax. Your breath has fallen into steady and slow inhales and exhales. He slides down in the bed, bringing you with his so you can curl against his chest with your head on his shoulder. You look up at him.
“Please don’t cry,” you murmur and wipe a tear from his cheek.
He grasps that hand in his, playing with your fingers. There’s a few light bruises along your knuckles that his touch lingers on like a question.
“I punched her. In the mess, during lunch.”
“Good.”
Poe raises your bruised knuckles to his soft lips and kisses each one reverently.
“I’m with you,” he breathes between kisses. “Whatever people say or believe.” Another kiss. “You’ll always have me. Promise. You’ll always have me.”
--
My Masterlist
I am contemplating a part 2 (if I can write it tastefully) where the reader and Poe do have sex for the first time.
Tags: @ay0nha​ 
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