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streamafterlaughter · 1 year

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Fundamental Differing

Chapter XII: I’ll Call You Beautiful, If I Call At All

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summary: seattle always brings out the sentimentality in you, and eddie’s feeling it too.

tags: slow burn, rockstar!eddie x rockstar!gn!reader, mutual pining, forced proximity, fake dating, confessions of feelings (finally), some fluff, lots of angst, consumption of alcohol

a/n: this is one of my favorite chapters i’ve ever written. thank you to my lovely partner and beta reader @children-of-the-grave for helping me come up with an album title and doing the grunt work of proofreading. love you forever.

July 1990

Eddie takes another gulp of his beer before slamming it into the recycling bin. “Y’know what, we’re done. I’m not doing this anymore.” He slurs his words as you watch, eyes glazed over with tears.

“What do you mean? We can’t be done if we weren’t anything to begin with.” You’ve had a couple drinks yourself, and the effects are taking a strong hold.

“Perfect! I don’t ever wanna see your face again, got me?” He doesn’t mean that, not even close. But he can’t do this casual hook up thing, not with you. “We don’t know each other.”

“You’re right. I’m not sure we ever did.”

Present Day

Your POV

You wake up to an empty bed, the space Eddie once occupied now cold as your eyes open, reorienting yourself. Outside the tiny window, the sun is rising over the Washington horizon, and you feel a wave of peace wash over you. After tonight, you have a whole week off to do whatever you want, in a city that’s become a kind of home to you since leaving Eddie.

Seattle is special, a place you never mind being in, even with its constant rain and uptight citizens. It’s the place grunge was born, and a place you’ve always thrived. Playing here is a dream come true, and you can only beg the universe for it to go well.

The tour buses pull into a rest stop off the highway, and you shove the comforter off your sweaty body. You’d slept fully clothed, something you hadn’t done in a number of years. With the added layers, plus Eddie’s extra body heat, your hair sticks to the sides of your face.

Sliding open the door, Steve greets you with a sleepy smile. “Morning! Sleep alright?”

“As well as I could, all things considered.” You try to hide your embarrassment. You’d slept better next to Eddie than you’ve slept in your own bed, but that’s not something Steve needs to know.

“Well, you’re free now. Go grab some food, we’re almost at the hotel.”

You nod and shuffle through the bus, weaving through the guys of Corroded Coffin, who stand in the hall chatting and chewing on what look to be soggy French fries. You notice Eddie’s voice lower as you approach him and Gareth in the breakfast booth.

“Aw, leaving already?” Gareth teases as Eddie avoids your eyes next to him.

“Haha, yeah. I can tell when I’ve overstayed my welcome.” Eddie’s eyes flick to your face, and you challenge him with yours. You want him to tell you you’re still welcome, you’re always welcome, but he doesn’t say a word, so you turn and exit the bus.

Eddie’s POV

The door clicks shut behind you, and Eddie turns back to his bandmate. “Anyway, as I was saying, I have never jumped out of bed so quickly in my life. I woke up and they were like, pressed into me.”

“Were you hard?” Gareth chokes out a laugh at Eddie’s flustering.

“I’m only a man. Of course I was! I debated rolling onto the floor and just never getting back up.” Eddie grins as he speaks, remembering the panic as he bolted upright in bed, dick stiff against his sweatpants as you snored soundly next to him.

“You think they know?”

Eddie shrugs. “God, I fucking hope not.”

Gareth cackles and Eddie shoved him playfully. Truthfully, it was the best sleep he’s gotten in awhile, and he’s forced to admit it’s because of you. Everything about your presence stresses him out, but sleeping next to you has been something he’s mourned for the last two years.

“You guys all set to get moving soon? Ed, go get some food, I haven’t seen you eat in days.” Steve’s standing over the little table, hands on his hips like he’s a soccer mom disappointed in her poorly performing child.

“Yes sir,” Eddie mockingly salutes his friend, who responds with a dramatic roll of his eyes. Eddie slides out of the booth and off the bus, the humid air hitting him in the face as he walks into the rest stop.

You stand with Robin and your other bandmates, in line for greasy burgers as you wipe the sleep from your eyes. You’re still in your sweats and a shredded t-shirt. You lean your head on Robin’s shoulder, seemingly fighting sleep from taking over again. Eddie gets in line behind you, careful to keep his distance.

“Hey, sleepyhead!” Robin turns to greet him, her eyes wide and sparkly.

“Mornin’, Bob.” Eddie grumbles, voice raspy from lack of much use yet today.

“Sleep okay?” He hears the teasing in her tone, but chooses to ignore it.

“Well enough,” He looks at you, and you’re studying the tiles on the floor like a museum exhibit. “I’m ready for a week off, though. Might fly out to Indiana early, go see everyone.” Eddie hasn’t been back since he moved out, shortly after graduation. “You guys got any plans?”

Robin shrugs. “I’ll probably go back home in a few days.”

You nod. “I dunno, I live out here now but it would be cool to see everyone. I’d need to get a hotel, or maybe,” you look at Robin, “my ever so lovely best friend can house me?”

“You know you’re always welcome, my mom adores you.” You beam at her, and Eddie fights the urge to stare, your bright smile now a rarity he likes to cherish when you’re not paying attention.

You and Robin order your food, bidding Eddie adieu for now. He gives you a small smile, but you don’t return it.

The buses pull into the hotel parking lot, the rain coming down hard now. He grabs his duffel from under the bus, using it to shield his hair from the weather. Steve is talking to the concierge, looking far more stressed than usual.

“What’s up?” Eddie leans an arm on the hotel desk, and tries to ignore the way the young girl at the desk ogles him.

“They don’t have enough rooms.” Steve rubs his face in frustration.

“Okay, no problem, we can all share.” Eddie’s trying to be optimistic, much to the confusion of his best friend.

“Well, I mean, we definitely could. I’m not sure how that would work, honestly. They have enough doubles for most of us, but-“

The hotel clerk interrupts. “I mean, if you and Y/n take the single, you’d all be set!” She’s practically squealing.

“Ah, so you know who we are, then?” Eddie jokes, causing the girl to blush.

“Of course I know who you are! And Y/n, and both of your bands. I’m a huge fan!” She rambles on, and Eddie feels a pang in his chest. There’s no way you’re gonna let this fly.

Steve sends Eddie a questioning glance, and he shrugs in response. “You’ll have to talk to them. I’m adaptable, I’ll manage.”

As if on cue, you’ve appeared on Steve’s other side. “Why’re you all stressed, Mama bear?” you tease, poking at Steve’s bicep playfully. “Did this lovely lady reject your advances?”

Steve groans. “No! I’m not being creepy, we’re trying to sort out the room situation. They have five. Four doubles, one queen.” He doesn’t continue, awaiting a reaction.

You blink at him. “Okay, that’s enough for everyone, no?”

“It is, if-“

“If Eddie and I take the queen? Because everyone else here is completely platonic with a capital P?” There’s not a hint of irritation in your voice, much to Eddie’s surprise. It’s then that your eyes land on him. “Is that okay with you?”

“Uh, yeah,” Eddie says dumbly, barely hearing you over the banging in his chest. “That’s fine. What’s another night?” He winces as it comes out, realizing how it sounds.

You nod curtly, tight lipped before you look back to Steve. “Book ‘em, big boy. No need to be dramatic.” You give him a pat on the shoulder. As an afterthought, and meeting eyes with the enthusiastic concierge, you approach Eddie again. “I’ll see you tonight, then? If you decide to come back in the first place.” Before he realizes what happens, you’re on your tiptoes. In his ear, you whisper, “I’m gonna kiss you on the cheek now. Because it’s gonna make this girl lose her mind. Okay?”

Blood is pounding in Eddie’s head as he nods. Your lips barely graze his cheek, warm and soft against his scratchy stubble. He closes his eyes, but before he can focus, it’s over, and his cheek is cold again.

“Bye guys! Bye,” You squint at the clerk’s name tag, “Hannah. Nice to meet you, thanks for your help.” You turn, and shuffle back to the elevators, probably to relay the news to your friends. Eddie can feel Hannah’s eyes burning into his skull, but he refuses to acknowledge her again, worrying his eyes will betray him. He’s never been a great liar.

Steve looks at his stunned friend, the smallest of smirks on his face. “You alright over there?” Eddie doesn’t answer, so Steve grabs him by the wrist, waving goodbye to Hannah, who’s still hypnotized by the whole interaction. Once out of earshot, he tries again. “Yoo-hoo, earth to Eddie?” He waves a hand in front of Eddie’s blank stare, snapping him out of his trance.

“What? Yeah, yeah I’m good. I’m great! I’m totally, one hundred percent fine.” He clamps his mouth shut, stifling the panic that will probably return to him later.

“They haven’t done that yet, huh?” Steve teases, no longer hiding his smirk. “You gonna be able to handle this whole fake dating thing?”

“I’m handling it fine, thank you.” Eddie snaps, and Steve raises his hands in defense. He’s not handling it well in the slightest, really.

“Okay, okay, whatever you say. I’ll drop it. But you gotta work on your poker face if you wanna be believable. Even if I had no idea, I’d be pretty skeptical right now.”

“Whatever, dude.” Eddie brushes him off as the elevator dings, and they both step inside without another word.

Your POV

“I need a fucking drink!” You flop, face first into Robin’s bed as you groan. Buried in the mattress, you feel safe enough to let it out. Because you can’t do this anymore, and you’re starting to push your luck. “I’mstillinlovewithhim.” Your confession is muffled by the fabric, and the only clue that Robin understands you is her reaction.

“Yeah, no shit!” Don’t think I didn’t see what you pulled down there!”

“What I pulled?” You push yourself back to your feet, jolted by the irritation in her voice.

“Kissing him like that, whispering sweet nothings into his ear.” Robin bats her eyelashes, singing a recap of the events in the lobby.

“I’m supposed to do that, Robin. I’m being paid to, actually! I was told to.” You inject as much venom into your words as possible, and Robin bites her tongue to stop from spitting back.

“Okay. You’re right, you’re right! Just,”

“Just. What.” It’s a challenge. You’ve absolutely had it with the peanut gallery. Between her and Steve, you’ve gotten a verbal retelling of every single time you and Eddie are together.

Robin has never been the type to back down from a challenge, though. “There were no cameras, Y/n. Just a starstruck fan you probably caused the heart failure of. You didn’t have to,” She flails, gesturing to your body, your face, you, “be so all over him.”

You stop short, breath caught in your throat. “Are you defending him?” Of course not. No, she wouldn’t.

“He was my friend too, Y/n. And I cut him off for you.”

Her words sting. “I didn’t ask you to do that.”

“Not in so many words! But I saw how you treated Steve when you caught him and Eddie having a drink. You didn’t talk to him for a month.”

You don’t have a response. She looks at you, eyes wide with what you can finally recognize is anger. “You left Eddie because you thought he changed, right? Have you realized yet that maybe you changed?”

You gnaw your bottom lip until you draw blood, heart quickening as you feel a sob blooming in your chest. Before you can stop them, you feel the tears running down your cheeks.

Robin is quick to notice, and flops onto the mattress. She pats the bed next to her, and you take your seat. “What would be so bad about trying again?” There is no more accusation in her voice, she’s past fighting with you.

You sigh, resting your head in your hands. “I don’t want to admit I was wrong.” Robin is silent, so you look back up to her. She’s stifling a laugh. “What?!”

“Sorry, just hearing you say that threw me off. I know how much you value your pride, but if there’s anyone to let your guard down for, it’s gotta be Eddie. It’s always been him.”

“He just got so different when he started getting famous. I don’t know what happened in the last two years to make him revert like this, but-“

“Seeing you again probably had something to do with it.”

You keep your eyes glued on hers, searching for the punchline. “Please. If it was because of me, he wouldn’t have changed like that in the first place.”

“Okay, maybe not just because of you, but think about it! He got signed, what, only months after graduating? Moreover,” you giggle at her suddenly expansive vocabulary, “He was probably still reeling from, I dunno, almost dying? We all were. He just never got the chance to grieve, let alone get a good night’s sleep! Seeing you after all of that, when he’s been without steady ground to stand on for two years, has to be a slap in the face.”

You blink at her, debating on arguing further. You settle on a question. “Have you been talking to him?”

Robin rolls her eyes. “Lately, yeah. In passing. But it’s always been for your benefit. Before that, I’d only heard snippets from Steve, and I kept most of them to myself.”

You flop down onto the pillow, letting Robin’s words continue to wash over you. You’ve admitted to yourself that you miss him, that you want Eddie back, but the hard part still awaits you. How the fuck are you supposed to tell him?

Eddie’s POV

“I don’t know how much longer I can handle this, man.” Eddie sits on the end of Gareth’s bed, grabbing the stray drumstick from the bedside table and twirling it anxiously through his fingers. Gareth lay against the headboard, visibly fighting to keep his eyes open.

“What, you finally gonna tell ‘em how you feel?”

Eddie shakes his already throbbing head. “I gotta break it off.”

Gareth’s eyes are wide, suddenly alert. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“I know they don’t wanna do this. I don’t either. It’s a fucking sham anyway, I thought we were against that shit.” Eddie pushes himself back to his feet, pacing the length of the hotel room.

“Dude, I know you just came here to vent or whatever, but can I give you some advice?” Eddie looks to Gareth finally, and his expression is pleading.

Eddie could use the help, too. “Please.”

“Throw it out there. Worst case scenario, they don’t want ya back, you grieve a little, get laid a little, and move on. But you can’t keep doing this tiptoe bullshit. It’s exhausting to watch.”

Despite himself, Eddie chuckles. “You make a good argument.”

“What stopped you, this time? You used to have no shame.” Gareth crosses his arms over his chest.

It’s an easy answer. Eddie has thrown fits over this question, wondering what changed about his internal wiring to cause such a glitch in his ability to use his words with you. “Because now, I know what it’s like without them. And if I fuck up, if I say something I can’t take back, then I’m living in that reality. The one with no them. No Y/n.” His face is getting warmer with embarrassment as he blubbers, but Gareth doesn’t even crack a smile.

Instead, he rises from his spot on the bed, opening his arms to Eddie. Eddie takes the offer, quickly wrapping his arms around his friend. “Thanks, man.” His words are muffled by Gareth’s vest.

He pats Eddie on the back warmly. “Anytime, bro.”

The two release each other, awkwardly laughing at their circumstances. “So, what’re you gonna do?” Gareth’s question is barely audible.

“Whatever I have to.”

“Okay, man. But maybe take a nap before we have to leave for the gig. you look wiped.”

Your POV

You’re in search of your third, fourth, and fifth drinks of the night. You’d only asked for two on your rider, one for before your set and one after, but you’d downed them both within minutes of arriving at the venue.

The house is slowly filling with people as you make your way to the bar, speakers wailing along to Seattle’s finest. Currently, Call Me a Dog floats through the room, and you let Chris Cornell sing your feelings for you, not caring that you probably look insane, swaying dreamily along to the music by yourself, hair half done, empty bottle in your white knuckle grip.

The bartender approaches you, and you order another drink as you feel a presence looking over your shoulder. You have a 50/50 shot of guessing who it is in this low lighting, but you don’t wanna risk being wrong, so you shift to look behind you.

“Hi, Steve.” You can feel his disappointed glare as the bar man returns with your cocktail. You make a scene of hiding the glass with your body as you pull it closer to you.

“You still have an hour before you go on, and you’re already wasted.” He doesn’t phrase it like a question, but you nod anyway. “What’s goin’ on?”

It’s tiring, repeating yourself. You almost wish you hadn’t told Robin to keep it quiet. “I’m gonna tell Eddie I still have feelings for him.” It’s a confession, finally saying the words out loud. Steve’s eyes widen, but he doesn’t object. He sits beside you at the bar, hunching forward to hear you better. “I’m so sick of pretending I don’t feel anything for him. I don’t know how he feels about me, and I think this is the only way to find out.”

“Or, I mean, you could just take my word for it. Or Robin’s, or anyone else’s.” He snickers as you shove him. “I’m kidding! I think it’s a good idea, finally put these dramatics to rest.”

“I just don’t know how to do it, it’s like I forget every word in the English language when I’m around him.”

“Trust me when I tell you it won’t matter. Whatever you say, he’s gonna fall apart. He’s already in the palm of your hand, dude.” Steve wraps his arm around you, squeezing you tightly. You rest your head on your shoulder, sipping your vodka cran and letting the alcohol give you courage.

Eddie’s POV

He watches as you rest your head on Steve’s shoulder, his arm wrapped protectively around you. It stops him in his tracks, seeing you huddled like that with one of his best friends. It’s like he’s hit in the chest, knocking the wind out of him. He knows he has to end it, for real, for good. You don’t feel the same way about him, it’s clearer to Eddie now more than ever.

He’s about to walk over to you, but he’s caught by a figure in his peripheral vision. He meets the eyes of a small girl with spiked hair and clanging metal on her jeans. He waves to her shyly, unsure if she’ll have the courage to approach him.

She gains it from the acknowledgment, though, and shuffles up to him timidly. “Hi, oh my god. I’m so sorry for being weird, I wasn’t sure you wanted to talk to anyone. It’s so nice to meet you!” She extends a manicured hand and Eddie shakes it. “I’m Izzy. Would you mind signing this?” She holds out a record, Corroded Coffin’s first album, Depravity of Doomed Souls. The cover depicts a man facing away from the camera, looking out into a horizon of burning red sky, clouds thick and dark hanging over him. Below him are the skeletal hands of a crowd, clawing at where the man stands on the top of a platform. Eddie holds it for a second, chuckling to himself.

“Man, this thing is ancient. We wrote this four years ago.” He scribbles in the top right corner, To Izzy, stay metal! -EM similarly to how he’d once signed his friends’ yearbooks.

“It got me through my senior year. Especially Martyrdom and Other Mistakes. It made me feel seen!” The sentiment makes Eddie smile. He never gets sick of hearing how his music has impacted his fans. It does suck, though, to relate the that particular track.

“Man, of all songs, huh?”

Izzy shrugs. “Satanic Panic was huge at the time, and I was, well,” she gestures to her outfit, a collaboration of leather, studs, chains, and spikes.

Eddie nods. “But look at us now, huh! Rockin’ out, just like we were in high school.”

He hands the record back to her, and she smiles at the autograph. “Hey,” she adds, as Eddie searches the bar for you, but you’re gone, probably setting up for your set. “Can I buy you a drink?”

Ah, fuck it. He’ll see you later, anyway. “Sure.”

He’s three beers deep when your set ends. Izzy’s been talking his ear off. “And Y/n is so fuckin’ cool, man. You got one of the sickest songwriters and group of performers on your tour. Do you know if they’re single?”

The question snaps his attention back to her. “What?”

“Y/n. Are they single?” Does she not know? Has she never picked up a magazine?

“Uh,” What is he supposed to say? Technically, you are. And he doesn’t want to get in the way of a possible romantic interest. However, to the public, you’re not. You’re dating him. Izzy’s cool, sure, but she’s still the public. He can’t tell her it’s a sham, that’s above his pay grade.

Izzy speaks again. “Oh, god, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude on anything.”

“No! No, it’s okay,” Eddie rushes out, stumbling for an answer.

But Izzy studies him, and sees something on his face that makes her say, “Oh, I get it.”

He doesn’t. “Get what?”

“You like Y/n, you must! How could you not?!” How the fuck is he so easily read that a stranger can do it?!

He scoffs out a nervous laugh. “Is it that obvious?”

Izzy smirks like she’s discovered a secret. “Well, you guys would make a terribly attractive couple. Consider me rooting for you.”

“You got any advice?”

Izzy laughs. “Not for you specifically, considering your, uh, status. But, in general, I’ve found it better not to lie. Don’t spare your feelings, or theirs. Tell ‘em everything. Because one day, you might be dead.”

Eddie sits with her words, and knows deep down that she’s right. Lying to you isn’t going to make anything easier. He has to know, for sure, that you don’t feel the same way about him. Eddie’s about to respond when he feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns to make eye contact with Steve’s arms, crossed over his chest. “You're needed on stage.”

“Yessir,” Eddie bows to Steve, who rolls his eyes before walking back towards the stage. He turns to Izzy. “Thank you for the drinks, Izzy. And for the enlightening conversation.”

She snickers. “Knock ‘em dead, Eddie!” She claps her hands together, cheering him on.

Your POV

“Well?” You’ve been pacing the hall backstage while Steve went to find Eddie. “Who is she?”

Steve shrugs. “Didn’t bother to even introduce me. But she had a Corroded Coffin record, must be a fan.”

“Or a groupie.” You mumble. You’re about to keep arguing when Eddie rushes past you, gulping the final sip of his beer.

“Hey, Y/n,” Eddie stops short when he sees you, his face red and hair disheveled. “Can we talk later?”

You’re already thinking of the worst case scenario. He’s gonna tell you he wants nothing to do with you, even for the press. He and Izzy hit it off and you’re getting left in the dust. You fight the thought, though. Regardless of what it is, you’re gonna tell him what you have to. “Sure, yeah.”

He tucks a strand of hair behind his ear “Great, cool. Uh, meet me outside, like an hour after the set.” You nod, lips pressed together.

The house music fades, the final lines of I Want The Moon fading as the lights dim, and the crowd goes wild. You watch as Eddie walks onstage, holding himself well despite the amount of alcohol he’s likely consumed. His smile is bright as the spotlight hits him, and Gareth clicks his sticks together.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS UP, SEATTLE?!” Eddie shrieks into the mic, and Corroded Coffin takes off into their set, deafening you with the first chord.

You’re by the stage door when the final notes of Corroded Coffin’s set play, muffled by the brick of the building. You stub out your second cigarette, still anxious for what awaits you. You don’t have the first clue as to what Eddie wants to say to you. He could be ready to break this whole thing off, and then what? What will telling him do then? Should you tell him first? But then, will his feelings be influenced? The last thing you wanna do is try to convince him.

Your thoughts are interrupted when the stage door swings open. Eddie peeks out quickly, making sure there are no stray fans or paparazzi hiding in the bushes. “Hey, you.” He greets, stepping into the floodlights. He pulls out a cigarette and pats his pockets. When he comes up empty, he groans. “You gotta light?” You nod, flicking your lighter up to his cigarette. He inhales with his eyes still glued to yours, but you watch the flame intently. “Thanks.”

You reach for another stick for yourself, and light it quickly. “What did you, uh, wanna talk about?”

“Right to it, huh? No ‘Great show, Ed!’ Well, love, your set was fantastic too.” He’s being playful, clearly still buzzed.

“My apologies, your highness. You’ve set the record of most panties dropped in one place.” It’s a low joke, but you’re desperate to keep talking around the reason you’re both really out here.

“Oh yeah? Were yours included?” Oh, fuck off.

You shrug. “That’s for me to know.” Eddie laughs heartily, and you almost melt on the spot. You used to be so good at making him laugh, and it’s so hard to remember the last time you managed to. “Anyway,” you interrupt his cackling, “please, the anticipation is killing me.” You gesture for him to speak.

Eddie’s smile falters slightly, clearly affected by your palpable anxiety. “Right, yeah. Izzy’s a fan, by the way.”

“Ooh, Izzy. She was awfully snuggled up to you tonight.”

Eddie pinches the bridge of his nose. “I could say the same thing about you and Steve.”

“How many times do I have to assure you our relationship is Platonic with a Capital P?!”

“Things change, Y/n! For all I know you two could be bumpin’ uglies once a week.”

Your jaw snaps shut before you can hurl an insult at him. Instead, you quiet your voice. “Can you just tell me what you needed to tell me? I didn’t come out here to fight about who’s fucking whom.”

Eddie sighs. “Fine. But for the record, Izzy asked me to sign her album. Then, she bought me a drink and told me how pretty you were. That’s it..” You can’t help the snort that escapes you. Eddie frowns. “I’m serious, she asked me if you were single!”

“Has she not read the articles? I’m supposedly dating you.” It hurts not to mean it, but joking around with Eddie feels vaguely comforting.

Eddie shrugs. “She never mentioned seeing that. But she did call me out in a way.” He’s quiet, so you nod for him to go on. “She clocked me looking at you. Guess I’m pretty transparent when I’m drunk.” His smile is shy suddenly, and before you can answer him, he speaks again. “Listen, I uh, I don’t want to do this fake dating thing. I thought about it, and I think it’s stupid.” You bite your lip to keep from arguing, or interrupting despite the insatiable urge to shriek. Eddie continues, not noticing your struggle, his brow furrowed in determination. “Cash grab or not, it’s fucking with my head. It’s already too much to see you every day. and doing all of this,” he gestures between you and himself, “on top of that, is exhausting.”

You wait for more, but nothing comes. You search his expression for a hint, a cause for why he doesn’t want to be around you anymore. You can’t find anything. “Oh. Okay. I’m really sorry if I did something that-“

Eddie shakes his head, cutting you off. “No, not at all. It’s nothing like that. I just,” he stops, chewing his bottom lip in thought. “I don’t want just some of it.”

That wakes you up. “What?”

“Y’know, the flashy stuff and nothing else? Holding your hand, a kiss or two for the fans, but then we run away from each other when we’re alone. It’s not…” He searches for the right word, “enough for me.” Enough? As in, he wants more from you? You don’t answer, struggling to understand where he’s going with this.

“I mean, I can talk to Steve. Maybe he can talk to the execs, get the word out that we ‘broke up’ or whatever.” You’re trying so hard not to cry as you speak. You got your answer, he doesn’t want it anymore.

“Or,” Eddie takes a step closer to you, and you lose your nerve. You feel a single hot tear slide down your cheek as Eddie searches your face for your answer. Seemingly without thinking, Eddie reaches up and wipes it away with his thumb. “You could tell me how you feel.”

It’s now or never. “I’m thinking,” you start, voice shaky. “I think you’re right. It’s not enough. We need to get married.”

Eddie startles. “Sorry?”

You laugh despite yourself. “No, I’m sorry. I don’t have a ring.”

He rolls his eyes at your weak attempt at humor. “Can you not joke about this for like five seconds, please?” Eddie pleads, and you soften as you look at him. His eyes are wide, still locked on yours. “I need to know I’m not crazy.”

You scrunch your nose at him. “You and I both know you are, in fact, crazy. But fine, I’ll try to appease you.” It’s your turn to step closer, and now you’re only two inches apart. “In all seriousness, I can’t do it either. I don’t want to hold your hand because people are watching. I wanna hold your hand because I can, because I want to. I wanna kiss your stupid face in front of everyone and no one, I wanna sleep next to you by choice and not for convenience. I’m so tired, Eddie. I’ve been so tired trying not to feel this way, but I can’t make it stop.” You talk to his chest, too afraid to look at him. “I didn’t realize how much I missed you, the real you, until this tour. I hadn’t seen that version of you, that smiles and laughs and fucks around with his friends, in so many years. It’s like you came back to life.”

“You know why, right?” Eddie keeps his voice low, as if trying not to break the moment. His hand reaches for yours, and he plays with your fingers as he speaks. “You know what finally brought me back to life?”

You shake your head, refusing to meet his eyes. But Eddie, ever the tactile gentleman, cups your chin in his hand, forcing you to look at him. “C’mon. I’ll give you one guess.”

You don’t answer, lost in the big brown eyes you haven’t really looked into since leaving him. Everything you two have gone through since meeting hits you like a ton of bricks. From surviving high school, to the Upside Down, to getting signed, to breaking up. Through it all, he was going through it right next to you. You shake your head, refusing to believe what he’s saying.

“You.” Eddie halts your speeding train of thought with one word. “Watching you perform, listening to your music, reading your interviews. Even just knowing you’re right outside, in the other bus. I meant it when I said I’d give it all up for you, Y/n. But, if I can be so brutally honest, I think I’d love having both, way more.” He’s so close, you can feel his breath on your face. You don’t pull away, despite your brain screaming at you to run away. “Now that I know how to behave.”

After a beat, you speak. “You can, y’know.”

“Can what?” He raises an eyebrow, cheeks red.

“Have both. You know I’d never ask you to choose.”

“Even though you know I’d choose you?”

You shake your head. “Stupid choices, Eddie, you keep making them.”

“I’m about to make another one, I think.”

“Oh? And what choice would that be?”

“To kiss you.”

You swear your heart stops. You can’t breathe, and your hands are sweating. “What if I’m about to make that stupid choice too?”

Eddie smiles widely, and so do you. Before either of you can ruin it with more babbling, Eddie rests a hand on your cheek. You crane your neck to reach him, letting the noise in your brain be silenced as his lips touch yours. You squeeze your eyes shut, as if he’ll disappear the moment you open them. Your hands find their way into his hair, and his free arm wraps around your waist. The kiss is slow, gentle. His lips are slightly chapped, dry from the beer, and he tastes like cigarettes and him. He feels the same, like the past two years didn’t happen, like his lips never left yours. You grow eager, suddenly, pulling his face as close as you can manage, fingers twisting in his hair to keep him on you. You feel the wet warmth of your tears, falling freely from your closed eyes, but still you refuse to let him go.

Eddie’s POV

He’s dizzy with your kiss, desperate for it. He’s afraid once it ends, you’ll disappear through his fingers like sand. He must be dreaming, it’s the only way any of this makes sense. Your hands are tangled in his hair like they were made to be, your lips soft against his own chapped ones. He feels a tear spring from his eye, and hopes with everything you can’t tell he’s crying. He shifts himself, wrapping both arms around your waist to bring you even closer. When you deepen the kiss, licking a stripe across his bottom lip, he moans without thinking. You smile against his lips, still interlocked with him as your tongue wrestles with his. His eyes stay screwed shut, even though he wants to look at you more than anything. He wants to know what happens next, where you go from here. You’re both drunk, sure, but this is more than an alcohol induced decision.

You’re the first to pull away. “I don’t know what this means.” There’s no urgency, no panic in your voice. It is simply a statement.

Eddie blinks quickly, vision blurry. “Don’t overthink it. Not right now. We can talk about it later, I just need you to keep kissing me.” He’s past the point of patience, needing to feel your skin on his again.

Luckily, you seem to be on the same page. You lunge forward, connecting your lips to his again. At this point he’s borderline desperate, kneading the flesh of your hips with the pads of his fingers, keeping you in his grasp as if to ground himself to this plane.

taglist: @children-of-the-grave @five-bi-five @wiildflower-xxx @beebeerockknot @champagne-glamour @xxgothwhorexx @therensistance @chonkzombie @brxkenartt @sidthedollface2 @bibieddiesgf @gaysludge @eddiesguitarskills @littlepotatobeansworld @poisonedluv @kellsck | send a message to be added🫶

#eddie munson x y/n #stranger things #st4 #strangerthingscentral #fundamental differing #new kid fic #90s au #rockstar!eddie #gn!reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #slow burn #mutual pining #forced proximity #fake dating #angst #fluff #best friend!steve #best friend!robin

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jeeperso · 3 years

Text

D&D Quotes Without Context

Treasure Island edition, Chapter 2

gnome shakes the sheet of tin, whinnies like a horse "Is he gonna follow us the whole time?" "I'm on retainer."

"Okay, who in their right mind would name an ocean-going vessel 'Poseidon's An Ass'?" "It should be...Neptune Uranus."

OOC: He's along because it's an excuse to study the region, to help Meflina by finishing her obligation (and potentially finding her people) and, oh yeah, fuck flint. OOC2: Neither is Cookie, he's going because he just feels that strange pull of instinct. Like fate, or destiny, or cheese.

MJ: "It’s okay. The real treasure was the times we got baked along the way."

OOC: This entire voyage is just a McDonalds run. OOC2: We get there and the treasure is nothing but countless packets of Szechuan sauce.

"NO PATHETIC BOX CAN HOLD ME!" "Some people can sleep anywhere."

Today you woke up, hung over with a loxodon Butler offering you a hangover cure. “Is there an actual Elephant Man or am I still unbelievably high?” "Well I mean he's not pink, that's a strong case he's real." “He’s not pink?”

"From Jeeve's manners, I am optimistic we haven't been press-ganged... again."

"Thank you, Jeeves...Ugh, this cure had best take effect soon, else I'd think I was in Ra... Is that the forking gnome again?" he asks, sighting a familiar sheet of tin ready to by waved. Janus looks around...."Raven....LOAF." “They don’t like it when you taunt them.”

"I smell Funions. I have no idea what that is but I recognize the smell."

"It's not the first time I...didn't remember the night before.... " “It’s been a week.”

You get the feeling if she wasn't so sweet an innocent, Melfina'd have enough blackmail material on the lot of you to own your souls.

"They're paying you to do that thing with your room."

"I've told you Maria, but Orange Crush does not prevent scurvy."

"What jobs are for the professor and I, given Amber already knows the secrets of palm tree and coconut technology?"

“At The Institute for Arcane Learning they had a term for this kind of thing. Bullshit.”

"There is one more item: that we are to watch for a man with a wooden leg named Smith. We don't know if thats the man or the leg, but be on guard for either."

"Oh please tell me we didn't hire on the advice of a little man who lives in a finger..." “Probably the fairy that lives in my hat. She keeps Dingo Company when I sleep.” MJ takes off her knit cap and under it is a tiny glowing woman in a gold bikini. “I… uh… I don’t ask her to dress like that.”

"Oh dear, Archie doing hiring. It's gonna be my brothers bachelor party all over again. He still has a restraining order."

"Yes, onto who meet the crew, find out whom, after we've slept well, will mostly likely try to kill us in the morning..."

The Doctor tells you a little about the Captain he hired. "Captain Glenn Kermit is a kind but strict captain, has many years of naval command under his belt. Is normally quite polite but has a temper like a raging volcano when angered." The carriage doors open to reveal: A rather diminutive Grung in a perfectly tailored Captain's uniform. Cookie: "...that...is a very small..volcano." "Big things come in small packages." Janus says, standing at attention. Magnus does likewise, and only looks more like some foul wizard whose lair is being knocked over by teenaged adventurers.

"Cookie... I cook."

You are now suddenly very aware of the whip the First Mate has at her side. MJ looks at the whip. “Ah, that’s how we’re running the ship. I’ll make sure to order extra rum and lubricant.”

Boss makes a dollar, MJ makes a dime. That’s why she buys weed to sell on company time.

[Muppet Treasure Island role-call] “It could be worse.” First Mate: "The Bull Buggering Bishop of Bath and Wells?" “Here!” “Okay, it could not be worse.” "[Gnome]'s under contract. We can't touch him." "Well I mean they are just names. You can't judge a book by its title as they say." “One of them in named ‘Actual Cannibal Shia LaBouf.’”

Many of the crew duck out of sight in fear. Cookie is still ducked. While standing.

"No, I've been at sea long enough to keep a close eye on a bosun who hires a crew like that. He is plotting something." "Shoot him first come the mutiny. Got it."

"Well at the moment it seems the crew are well in hand either terrified of our Chaplin, or quite pleased by our food quality."

Suddenly there's a strange scent on the breeze... its almost like coffee? You see the large ship is flying a black flag, a pirate crossbones on a coffee mug. The Captain stands on the deck and shouts. "All hands to battle stations! I know that flag!" "You don't mean.... it can't be..." He glares at the ship. "Yes, The Mad Pirate Wilkins!"

#dungeons and dragons #dnd 5e #quotes without context #treasure island #muppets

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carminecalico · 3 years

Text

Eren X Armin “Fuck Away the Pain” Chapter 2

“Angel Among Humans”

The next morning leads to an interesting story to Eren's past.

This chapter uses the song “Somebody Out There” by A Rocket to the Moon

*also quick note.

My story is also on Ao3 the link is below I would love it if y’all showed it some love on there too

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28809192?view_full_work=true

Eren woke up groaning burying his face back into the pillows. "Reiner!" Eren waited for his roomate's response and when he got nothing, “Seriously Reiner? What the fu-" Eren finally sat up and rubbed his eyes before realizing this wasn't his room. He looked around the Ocean blue room and took in the decor. Various sized seashells covered the dresser and windowsill, by the window there was a hammock hanging from the ceiling. Looking above him he saw the strings of lights covering the ceiling. Eren smiled at the charm the room held before furrowing his eyebrows and rubbing his head, "What happened last night?" Just then Armin, just wearing sweatpants, walked in with two mugs in hand and everything came flooding back. His eyes widened as he looked down at himself and saw he was only in his boxers.

"We didn't do anything if that's what your little freakout's about." Armin chuckled, "You just came over to sleep. I guess you lost track of your roommate after the show. Coffee?" Armin sat down next to Eren on the bed before handing him one of the mugs. Eren smiled taking the coffee before leaning in and pressing his lips to Armin’s gently. Wrapping an arm around Eren’s neck Armin signed softly into the kiss. "Good morning to you too Eren." Armin said as they pulled away from the kiss. The two of them chuckled leaning their foreheads’ against each other's. They finish their coffees setting the mugs down on the nightstand. Eren grabs Armin by the waist pulling him onto his lap. Armin's face goes red as he wraps his arms around Eren’s neck.

"Kiss me.” Eren all but demands as he looks deep into Armin’s eyes. Armin leaned down pressing his lips against Eren’s sighing. Eren groans as he trails one of his hands up Armin's back pulling him closer. "I wouldn't be able to convince you to skip the library today would I?" Eren breathes out in between kisses. Armin giggles as he pulls back. "I'm taking that as a no?" Eren frowns and falls back on the bed.

"I'm already behind on my thesis, and you have yours to work on too!" Armin smiles as he pulls his hair back and puts it up in his signature messy bun. "You can come back over tonight if you'd like. But I need to get dressed." Armin leans down pressing a chaste kiss to Eren’s lips before getting up and walking over to his closet. "Do you need to go home and change?"

“What you don't like my look anymore?" Eren chuckles folding his hands behind his head, "Yea I need to get my laptop and everything too, I'd like to come back tonight if the offer’s there." He looks up at the lights, "I want to see these at night." Eren got up and started getting dressed in last nights’ outfit.

"Oh quiet, you know that's not what I meant." Armin walked out of the closet with a yawn. He had a white button-up on under a blue striped sweater, paired with faded blue skinny jeans. Armin walked over to his dresser and rummaged through one of the drawers for a pair of socks, "I just don't know how well a mesh crop top goes over at the library. I'd offer something of mine but I think you're a little too tall to fit." Grabbing a pair of navy blue socks to match his sweater he walked to the bed and sat down. He pulled on his socks and grabbed his phone from the nightstand. "I don't think Mikasa came home last night, hope she's okay." He went to his messages and shot Mikasa a text.

Eren chuckles, crawling on the bed behind Armin before kissing his head, "I think you just don't want others to see. I'm ready to go whenever you are blondie." Eren nuzzled his face into Armin’s neck, "I just hope Reiner doesn't embarrass me at my place. Please don't take anything he says seriously okay?" Eren wraps an arm around Armin’s waist feeling him nod. “You ready to go?" Eren asks as Armin finishes putting his black doc martens on.

"Yea let's get going to your place, I want to get a window seat at the library." Armin grabs his keys and school bag, slinging it over his shoulder. The door opens to reveal a disheveled looking Mikasa. She groans and drops her keys on the table. "Mikasa! You're okay! Where were you?! I was worried sick!" Armin rushes over to her and hugs her tightly. "You look like you got hit by a bus."

"Thanks Armin, that's so nice of you." Mikasa rolls her eyes as she rubs her head. "That bassist sure knows how to put them down and here I thought I had a-" Mikasa notices Eren walk out of Armin’s room and her eyes widen. "Oh my god, Armin! Are you feeling okay? You never go out and all of a sudden you bring a guy home?!?"She places her hand on his forehead as a mother would before being swatted away by Armin.

“Knock it off Mikasa, nothing even happened, he just slept over. But you must be perfectly fine seeing how you can still flip out over nothing. Eren c'mon let's go." Armin walks out the door and heads downstairs. Eren scratches the back of his neck before following after him. Armin grunts as he tosses his bag in the back seat of his car. "I love Mikasa but my god is she suffocating." He slams the car door shut and sighs.

Eren chuckles, "I think it's sweet she's so caring. Not everyone has a friend like that." Eren walks to the driver's door and opens it for Armin. Armin smiles at him walking over to his door going up on his toes pressing a kiss to Eren’s cheek. He gets in the car and fumbles with his keys as Eren walks to the passenger side. As Eren gets in, Armin starts the car and starts driving towards Eren’s apartment following the GPS's directions. Eren reaches over placing a hand on Armin’s thigh gently rubbing his thumb in little circles. Armin smiles and grabs his hand intertwining their fingers bringing their hands up to his lips. He presses his lips against the back of Eren’s hand. Eren blushes slightly and looks out the window.

~~~~

"Reiner please be dressed!" Eren called out as he opens the door to the apartment, he walked in with Armin in tow. Reiner rolls his eyes from the couch and stuck his middle finger up at Eren. "Oh thank god, for once you're decent. Reiner this is Armin, Armin this is my roommate Reiner he's kinda like my big brother." Armin and Reiner nod to each other before Reiner turns his attention back to the TV. "Good talk." Eren shakes his head grabbing Armin’s hand leading him to his room down the hall.

Armin looks around Eren’s room, the walls covered in band posters of Rock and Grunge bands Armin’s never heard of, the ceiling outlined with a color-changing light strip. One wall seemed dedicated to trippy posters that change colors with the lights and one corner by the bed had an acoustic guitar propped up on a stand. Even just looking at the two rooms all Armin could think is how different they are. Armin sat down on the bed while Eren slipped off his shirt. Armin stared pulling his lower lip between his teeth. He lets his eyes wander down Eren’s back before Eren walks to his closet and is out of view.

Eren walks back into view putting half his hair up in a ponytail. He's got a black button-up on with a white band t-shirt over it with black ripped jeans. He walked over to his vanity and opened his little box for his piercings. He changes out his eyebrow ring for an all-black one and put in his lip rings, one on each side of his lower lip. He quickly adjusted his skewed nose ring and grabbed a pair of socks from the drawer. He sat next to Armin who was just staring, "Like what you see love?" Eren winked at him before pressing his lips against Armin’s roughly. He ran his thumb along Armin’s cheek before pulling his socks on quickly and sliding on a pair of worn black vans. "Okay, I'm ready to go." Eren grabs his backpack then Armin’s hand and walks out of the apartment.

~~~~

"Oh perfect! There's still window seats open!" Armin drags Eren to the tables at the window and sets his stuff down on the table. He opens his laptop and rushes over to a section of books and grabs the few books he needs. Eren sat himself down at the table pulling his laptop out along with studio-grade headphones slipping them on his head leaving one ear free. Armin came back and set the books down and sat down himself. He went to start working on his thesis before pausing and looking over at Eren. "Hey, you never told me your major, or what your thesis is on."

"I'm a music major, big surprise, my thesis setup is probably a little different than yours. It’s for my composition class so basically, I'm composing a song. Though I'm struggling, they want it to tell a story." Eren leans back in his chair, scratching at the back of his neck, "Problem is,the topics we have to pick from I have no experience with." He looked over at Armin who was resting his head on his hand smiling gently. Eren looked down awkwardly and cleared his throat, “Heh, sorry I didn't mean to prattle on like that...." He looked back up at Armin smiling, "You're really easy to talk to, Blondie.”

"No I know you a little better now. Besides I guarantee my thesis will sound dull to you in comparison." Armin chuckled as Eren gestured for him to elaborate. "Well, I'm doing a thesis on Upper Ocean and Submesoscale Processes." Armin laughed lightly seeing Eren’s raise an eyebrow in confusion. "It’s interactions of ocean currents with other bodies of water, to put it simply. I'm an oceanography major after all remember?" Armin tucked one of the bits of hair that fell out of his bun behind his ear. “When you finish your song, will you show me? I'd love to hear it." He smiled as Eren nodded before he grabbed one of the books and opened it.

Eren taps his pencil on the table to the instrumental playing through his headphones, and his eyes drift to Armin. He fixes his gaze on Armin’s eyes, smiling at the faint glow behind them. He lets his eyes wander down Armin’s face as he rests his head on his free hand. His eyes catch on Armin’s lip he's chewing on in concentration before taking in the whole view; Armin flipping through pages of 3 different books while taking notes on his laptop, more strands of Armin’s hair having fallen from his bun now frame his face. Armin looks up catching Eren’s stare and his cheeks flush pink as he smiles. Eren felt his heart stop and skip a few beats seeing Armin as nothing short of an angel. "That doesn't look like you're getting any work done." Armin teased giggling lightly before turning back to his book with a small smile.

Eren dragged a hand down his face as a sole thought makes its way to the front of his mind. He scrolls through his recorded instrumentals settling on a simple light sound and putting it on loop. Eren pulls the assignment up on his laptop and stares at one of the possible prompts intently. 'A longing love story’ Eren‘s face drops and he grabs his lyric notebook and titles the new song, ‘Somebody Out There’

"Oh hi Professor Ackerman, what brings you to the library on a weekend?" Armin asks his head slightly tilted to the side. Eren's eyes shoot open before he brings a hand to his forehead to try and hide his face.

"Armin please you can call me Levi, Professor sounds old." Levi says dryly with a stack of books under one arm. His eyes shift to Eren and one of his eyebrows flicks up before he rolls his eyes. "Believe it or not I still enjoy coming to the library to read. Working on your thesis?" Levi asks causing Armin to nod. Levi lets out a sigh. "I can tell it's you Eren. Glad to see you're doing well." He deadpans as Eren lowers his hand shifting his gaze to the table. Armin's eyes shift between the two confused. "Well, I'll quit intruding on your guys’ little study date. Armin, I'll see you in class Tuesday." Levi saunters off to a far corner.

Armin looks at Eren seeing his unease and deciding it not be the best time to ask. "Hey, I'm getting kinda hungry, wanna take a break and go grab some food?" Eren nods silently and puts away his things. Armin takes his books to the shelf he found them on and walks over to Eren, ”You don't have to tell me but are you okay?" He asks cautiously as he places a hand on Eren’s shoulder. Eren places his hand on Armin‘s letting out a sigh and nodding. He stands up as he gently pushes Armin’s hand off his shoulder.

"What do you wanna eat? It's my treat." Eren asks as he walks to Armin grabbing his hand. Eren frowns seeing Armin’s distressed look before sighing. "Levi's my ex-fling, we ended things a few weeks ago. That's all Blondie." Eren groans seeing that the distressed look didn't leave Armin's face. "You know what I'll just go." Eren throws his bag on his shoulder and rushes out of the library before Armin can say anything.

~~~~~

That Thursday Armin let Historia talk him into getting coffee with her and Ymir. Ymir rests her head on her hand frowning at Armin. "I can't believe Eren’s still keeping out of touch with you. He was so smitten with you the night we all met." Armin shrugged running his thumb along the brim of his mug. "I get his ex showing up makes things awkward but still." Ymir lifts her head up as an idea pops into her head. "Why don't you come to his performance? Part of our grade is performing our originals and he's performing tomorrow. I can sneak you in and you can talk to him after, I mean he'll be pissed at me but at least you might be able to talk it out."

"You know what? Yeah, besides he owes me lunch." Armin chuckles before sipping his hot cocoa. He smiled watching Historia’s eyes light up while she talked with Ymir. "Hey did he tell you what his song was about? I never had a chance to ask." Armin asked to which Ymir shook her head.

"Guess we're both in for a surprise."

~~~~

Armin’s sat on the ground in front of Mikasa who's braiding his bangs and pinning them along the side of his head while they wait for Ymir to get Armin. He's got on an emerald green t-shirt under a black cardigan with a pair of black chino pants. Armin slips on a pair of black Chelsea boots and checks the time. ‘She should be here.’ Just as he finishes his thought he hears a loud knock come from the door. Armin grabs his messenger bag and walks to the door. He waves to Mikasa before opening the door and leaves the apartment with Ymir. They sneak into the classroom and sit in the middle of the classroom.

~~~~

"Eren! Wake up!" Reiner throws a water bottle at Eren to wake him up. "You've got your thesis performance today!" Eren groans raising an arm to flip off Reiner before sitting up. "I'll make some coffee. Good luck today bro.” Reiner leaves the room to make Eren some coffee. Eren signs as he gets up and walks to his closet. He grabs a random grey sweater and a pair of black jeans with holes in the knees before quickly getting dressed. He threw on a black beanie,a pair of black socks, and his worn-out black vans. He grabbed his backpack and guitar case leaving his room to be greeted with a travel mug of coffee. He mumbles out a 'thanks' before taking the coffee and heads out the door.

Eren quietly drinks his coffee on the bus with his earbuds in, his current obsession being 'You Me At Six'. His mind wanders to Armin and he frowns as he looks out the window. 'He's too good for me.' is the main thought that takes over his brain when he thinks of the precious blonde. He finishes his coffee and tucks the mug in his bag as he tries focusing on the music blasting in his ears. But, a certain blonde has taken residence in the forefront of Eren’s brain. Resting his head against the window Eren becomes plagued with the sound of Armin’s laugh and the way Armin looked at him as they pulled away from a kiss. He lets out a frustrated sigh, 'I hope he doesn't resent me for Saturday, I just would've hurt him eventually. I always hurt them no matter what I do...’ He gets off the bus at his school and makes his way to his classroom with his head down. He sits down near the front and rests his head on his hand taking out one of his earbuds.

"Today we will be finishing the performances and out of the remaining students who have to go looks like only one is here. Looks like it'll be a short class today so Yeager you're up."

Eren grabs his guitar out of his case and makes his way to the front of the class. He sits in the chair and quickly double-checks the tuning on his guitar. He takes a deep breath before he starts playing looking down at his hands. "You deserve someone who listens to you, hears every word, and knows what to do. When you're feeling hopeless lost and confused, there's somebody out there who will."

Eren looks up with his eyes closed and a small frown on his face. “You need a man who holds you for hours, make your friends jealous when he brings you flowers. And laughs when he says they don't have love like ours, there‘s somebody out there who will.” Eren opens his eyes as he looks around the classroom. His eyes meet Armin’s and his heart skips a beat, keeping eye contact with Armin he continues singing “There's somebody out there who's looking for you, someday he'll find you, I swear that its true.” Eren’s eyes tear up as he sings the next line. "He's gonna kiss you and you'll feel the world stand still, there's somebody out there who will."

Armin’s eyes are glued to Eren the moment he walked in the door. While Eren was getting ready to perform, Armin folded his arms on the table in front of him and rests his chin on top of his hands. He lets out a small hum as Eren starts playing, Armin’s eyes wandering down to Eren’s hands. Slowly becoming mesmerized by the way his hands bend to play before shaking his head and looking back up in time to lock eyes with Eren. Armin lifted his head off his hands as he refused to break eye contact. His eyes widened seeing the tears form in Eren’s eyes.

Eren looked away from Armin closing his eyes tightly causing his brows to furrow. “He'll take you dancing and pull you in close, spin you around, and won't let you go, till they turn the lights off and he'll take you home. There's somebody out there who will." He opens his eyes looking off to the side the pained expression still present on his face. “There's somebody out there who's looking for you, someday he'll find you I swear that it's true. He's gonna kiss you and you'll feel the world stand still, there's somebody out there who will."

Eren looks back at Armin with a sad smile before continuing. “Tossing and turning and dreaming at night, about finding him and praying and hoping you might. 'Cause you deserve someone who knows how to treat you right, I know he's out there he's looking for you. Someday he'll find you I swear that it's true, and he's gonna kiss you and you'll feel the world stand still." He keeps his eyes on Armin as he finishes his song. "Oh, you need some who'll miss you, hold you, and kiss you. There's somebody out there who will." He stands up and puts his guitar back in its case.

The class erupts in applause, Eren’s performances are always something the class looks forward to, as Armin gets up and runs up to Eren. Armin throws his arms around Eren’s neck pulling him into a tight hug. "You're a damn idiot, Eren.” Armin mumbles resting his head on Eren's shoulder. "You owe me an explanation."

Eren chuckles as he wraps his arms around Armin’s waist tightly, "Yeah, I've heard that before." He leans his head against Armin’s holding the blonde as close as he can. Eren lets his eyes flutter shut while running one hand up to the back of Armin’s neck. "I know I do, I just can't believe you're here right now."

The class gets dismissed, Ymir hands Armin his bag before giving Eren a 'Don’t fuck this up again' look and she walks out the classroom calling Historia. The two settle on a small, quiet coffee shop near the college to talk. They sit in a corner booth practically closed off from the rest of the coffee shop. Eren sighs as he gathers his thoughts, before he can say anything Armin speaks up. "Look, I think I kinda get what happened, especially after your song, but I don't like when people make my choices for me." Armin looked over at Eren, "I mean no one has ever made me feel so special before, and I was with Jean since sophomore year in high school.",

"I'm not a good person Armin, I don't even know how to do the whole dating or boyfriend thing." Eren cuts Armin off before he can say anything else. "I've never done it. I mean I- I banged Levi for 3 months just ‘cause I thought it'd be fun, knowing he wanted more. You're an angel in comparison, I don't deserve that not after how many people I've hurt." Eren fixes his gaze on his mug refusing to meet Armin’s eyes.

"Who cares? Eren there's a reason it's called the past. It's past you, what good does it do to sulk over it? All you can do is learn from it now, you can't change it." Armin grabs Eren’s chin gently turning his face towards his before he leans in and presses his lips to Eren’s. As he pulls away from the kiss Armin gives Eren the same look that's plagued his mind since they first kissed. Resting his forehead on Eren’s, Armin smiles, "Just so you know I do plan on making fun of you for the whole 'sleeping with my professor' thing for a while." Eren chuckles lightly, a smile forming on his lips. "You want to be with me, yes or no?" Armin asks leaning closer so their lips are just inches apart.

Muttering a 'fuck it' under his breath, Eren grabs the back of Armin’s neck and closes the distance between their lips in a rough kiss. Eren pulls away just enough to talk, "More than anything Blondie," Armin hums in agreement as he grabs Eren’s collar before pulling him back into the kiss, both of them smiling against each other's lips.

'Damn Blondie what’re you doing to me?'

#eren x armin #attack on titan #attack on titan fanfiction #eren yeager #eren jeager #armin arlert #eremin #justjoccesaotfic

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soapsilly · 4 years

Text

Not him - Tom Holland x Reader

Pairings: Tom Holland x reader; (slight Post Malone x reader)

Summary: (Y/N) and Tom got together on the set of Spider-Man. But the relationship doesn’t work out the way both of them had hoped for. What happens when (Y/N) gets over Tom faster than he would like? How will they act when they first see each other again in person on set for the new movie when neither of them can let go of their resentment?

Requests are open!

I guess, you could label this as Angst? Eventhough I don’t think it’s that angsty. I’m also terrible at writing summaries. Also, for the new love interest I chose Post Malone, because I needed a celebrity in the same age range as the main characters and also I’m kinda obsessed with him at the moment, so sorry if he’s not everyone’s type. However, this isn’t about him, so sorry if I didn’t exactly nail his personality.

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“Are you being serious?”, (Y/N) questioned her boyfriend. She couldn’t believe what she just heard.

“Here we go again”, Tom said rolling his eyes, “yes, I am serious”

(Y/N) chose to ignore that little dig at her but instead continued, “So, you’re seriously planning to move her in?”

“What am I supposed to do? Do you expect me to put her on the streets?”

“I expect you to at least talk to me about it!”

“I have known her for ages. There was no point in discussing it. She nedded a place to stay and I offered. End of story. She’s one of my closest childhood friends! Can we please not fight about this? Please? You’re leaving to shoot soon. You won’t even notice she’s here.”

"I don’t want to fight with you, love. But she’s a childhood friend that you told me you were in love with for the longest time! That I’m leaving makes it worse actually. Besides, you already spend the majority of your time with her. Do you really have to move her in now, too?”

It was true, Melanie was one of Tom’s oldest friends back in London. They grew up in the same neighbourhood and shared the same friend group. And he was crushing on her hard when he was younger.

“So you conveniently ignore that I hang out with all my old friends?”, Tom was getting more and more annoyed now. What was her problem?

“You can’t seriously expect me to spend all my time with you! I’m gone for so long at a time. Let me just spend some time with my people!”, Tom grew frustrated now.

“Your people... You spend all your free time with your people! And I’m at home going to bed alone almost every night. Why did you even ask me to come stay with you here, when you just leave me all the time?”, she was close to tears now. She felt lonely.

“I’m beginning to ask myself the same question. What has gotten into me?”

(Y/N) was quiet for a moment. That stung. The world knew Tom as that silly goofball, which he was - most of the time at least. But he could also be a proper bastard if he wanted to.

The girl took a deep breath.

“Listen, I understand that you want to help your friend but I just wished for you to talk to me first before you made that decision”, she continued much calmer now.

But Tom was having none of it. He was fired up now and annoyed by his girlfriend’s constant nagging.

“(Y/N)! How am I supposed to talk to you when you get so overly emotional all the time? You’re so fucking sensitive!”

“So you don’t talk to me at all? What kinda logic is that? Tom look at us. We’re fighting. Again. I can’t remember the last time we had a nice evening together. I can’t remember the last time we slept with each other...”

“You’re being dramatic. It hasn’t been that long”

“It has, too!”

“What do you want me to do? You’re smothering me! Of course I’d rather spend time with Mel. She’s not nagging me all the damn time!”

This was the first time he admitted to it.

Both of them stood still, facing each other.

“(Y/N)-”, Tom started but (Y/N) just held up her hand, effectively silencing him.

“Tom. Have you cheated on me with Melanie?”

“What? Of course not! (Y/N) I love you. Nobody else. I wouldn’t do that to you”, he tried to reassure her. Suddenly he felt bad for what he said.

“Have you thought about it? Even for just a second?”

“(Y/N), please...”, he pleaded with her.

“I’m leaving”

*******************************************************************************************

It’s been a few months since (Y/N) left Tom. He still felt bad for how their last fight ended and he was sure that if he hadn’t gotten so fired up, she’d still be there with him.

Tom asked her to stay, pleaded even, when she was picking up her stuff from all over his apartment. But after the logistics of separating where figured out neither of them talked to the other. (Y/N) made it clear to him, that she wasn’t interested in talking anymore. It was hard for him to accept and move on. He’d struggle to keep his mind off of his ex-lover. There were so many things that reminded him of her - so many things that he didn’t even realize before. The smell of coffee for example.

Eventhough, it was hard for Tom, his friends kept his mind occupied for long enough to relax a little and have some fun. None of them knew about the reason for their split. He told everybody it just didn’t work out between them. Only Harrison and his brothers knew the real reason of what happened. Only they saw him struggle.

The shooting for the next Spider-Man movie would start soon, so he’d be scheduled to give some interviews. All the tabloids were of course hoping Tom would give out secret details about the movie; that they’d be the first ones to report.

“Mornin’ Mate, how’re things today?” Harrison asked his friend, when they first arrived at the car that would get them to the interview place his management had organized.

“Actually, things are great, Haz! I think today is going to be good”, Tom answered truthfully. He was looking forward to today. There was no trace of any struggle on his face. No thoughts were spent on (Y/N) since Tom woke up this morning.

Harrison was glad. He wished for his best friend to move on and be happy again.

Tom was sitting in an empty room, lost in his thoughts after several hours of interviews, when a women in a grey blazer entered the room.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Holland”, she greeted him.

Tom was pulled back to reality.

“Good afternoon, pleasure to meet you. You can call me Tom by the way”, he greeted back.

The women continued to set up the interview. What followed were several different variations of the same questions he had already answered throughout the day.

While Tom enjoyed talking about his new movies, getting the same questions over and over again was getting a little boring. However, he had managed to not spoil a single thing about the movie, which he was immensely relieved about.

“So, the character of Felicia Hardy or maybe better known as Black Cat was introduced to the Spider-Man universe in the last movie. (F/N) (L/N) did an amazing job portraying her and the audience loved the new character”

Here we go again.

Tom already knew this was coming. Every interviewer so far asked about (Y/N) and him. But he was prepared.

“Yes, (Y/N) really is an amazing actress. I’m happy I was given the chance to work with her”

“So, you and Miss (L/N) started dating on set of the last movie but a few months ago you announced your split on social media. Last movie’s post credit scene suggested she’d be part of the new movie aswell. What do you expect returning on set, considering the current circumstances ?”, the woman continued.

Tom took a deep breath. He’s done this before.

“The split was amicable. When we realized the relationship wouldn’t work out, we mutually decided we’re better off as friends”

Lie.

“So you two are still in contact?”

“Yes, of course. We are both busy with our schedules but we both keep in contact regularly”

Lie.

“That’s amazing. So there won’t be any hard feelings on set”, she concluded.

“No, of course not. I’m really looking forward to seeing her again in person”

Somewhat the truth.

“You are one of the hottest singles on he market right now. We are dying to know: Is there anybody that has caught your eye yet? Seeing as lately (Y/N) has been seen getting cozy with rapper Post Malone..”

WTF??

Tom tried to not show his reaction to the newly found information. He awkwardly denied having his eye on anyone at the moment and they wrapped up the interview.

Tom was grateful that that was the last interview of the day. As soon as the lady left, he stormed over to Harrison, who was just as shocked as he was. He was already on his phone searching for evidence for the lady’s claims.

“Is it true?”, Tom asked his friend.

“Seems like it...”, Harrison showed the actor his phone. A picture of (Y/N) and Post Malone outside of a restaurant, holding hands lit up his phone screen.

Tom grabbed the phone and swiped further and further. There were a few more pictures of them together. Holding hands, snuggling - even one picture that showed them kissing.

For a second he felt a myriad of emotions cascading down upon him.

Shame. Anger. Sadness.

On one hand he felt embarrassed that he was mourning after their relationship while she was already out in the field dating around. On the other hand he felt angry. Did their relationship mean nothing to her? Was he not important to her?

And on a whole other hand he felt sad. He didn’t know what he expected but maybe there was still a little hope within him that they could get together again once the shooting would start.

But at the same time there was doubt lurking in the back of his mind. He always knew there was a discrepancy between him and her. While he was always more goofy and childlike, she was more grunge and edgy. Of course, it didn’t help that she was constantly fangirling over the musician.

“I love a man with a clear aesthetic” is what she used to say. And who had a clearer aesthetic than Post Malone? Next to him he felt like a slice of untoasted white bread.

“Tom?”, Harrison saw his friend spiraling.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”, Tom exclaimed.

Lashing out on the ones he loved seemed to be a recurring theme with him lately.

Harrison pulled up his his hands in surrender.

“Calm down, mate. I didn’t know either”

Tom left to wait in the car. He was awfully quiet for the remainder of the day.

So much for today being good...

*******************************************************************************************

It’s been a few weeks since Tom started shooting. As the main actor he had to be on set before anybody else did. (Y/N) arrived a few weeks later, Black Cat was not yet one of the main characters, so there was no need for (Y/N) to be there from the beginning.

Tom didn’t sleep well the night before (Y/N) was supposed to arrive. He has neither seen her nor talked to her since she left his apartment all those months ago. He was worried as to how to interact with her.

When Tom finally arrived on set, she was already there, chatting with Zendaya. The two of them hit it off immediately when they first met during the first movie.

When Zendaya saw Tom she grew quiet. Of course, she knew about their split but she didn’t know how he would react to seeing her for the first time after it. And she would’ve much preferred to not be present during their first meeting.

(Y/N) stopped mid-sentence and followed Zendaya’s gaze meeting Tom’s eyes, who was standing like a deer in the headlights. Eyes wide and his mouth slightly agape.

“Excuse me for a moment”, (Y/N) told her friend and made her way over to her ex-lover.

“Hello, Tom”

“Hey..”, Tom was unsure what to say.

“How’re ya? Everything good?”

She always did this. Asked how somebody was and already suggested the answer to go with.

“Yeah I’m good. And you? How’re you?”, he asked her back eventhough he already know what she was gonna answer. He just knew her like that.

“You know.. It is what it is”, she shrugged, but sent him a wink after that.

They chatted for a few more minutes about how excited she was to start shooting again, but never about anything deeper.

He didn’t ask her about her new relationship. She didn’t ask him about Melanie.

Then they parted again.

*******************************************************************************************

“You again?”, Peter in his Spider-Man suit swung onto the roof, where Felicia was tinkering around.

“Hello, Spider”, the Black Cat greeted him without looking up.

“You know? I’m actually kind of on a date right now, so maybe we could settle this quick and easy?”, Peter suggested, knowing that Michelle was waiting just at the other side of the street. When Karen notified him of an attempted break-in, he made up a quick excuse and left her standing.

The girl straightened up and started to circle Peter slowly.

“Is that your girl down there? She’s cute. I wouldn’t let her wait if I were you”, she pointed towards where Michelle was standing, looking around for Peter.

Peter furrowed his brows underneath his mask.

“Nice suit by the way”, she commented further. She only wore some black combat boots, a pair of pants, a crop top and a tighter top underneath. All black of course. The only thing that would ever even suggest she wasn’t just an ordinary girl were the black mask she was wearing and the devices on both of her wrists, that her claws and other similar gadgets were attached to.

“I, myself, prefer to not stand out as much. Not really a look you want to achieve... as a master thief, you know?”, she continued.

“You know? Someone once told me there’s usually not this much talking in a fight”, Peter told Felicia.

“Oh but we’re not fighting, silly”, she chuckled lowly. Something about her made Peter suspicious. What was she doing?

“Well, whatever it is what we are doing. I’m stopping you!”, Peter puffed his chest up.

“There’s no need, Spider. I already got what I want”, she showed him a stunning diamond collier dangling between her fingers, “do you think this suits me?”

She held the necklace up to her cleavage, batting her eyelashes.

Peter de-puffed his chest. He seriously began to ask himself what they were even doing.

“Listen, I can get you back to your dimension. Just give me the necklace and come with me, Felicia. I can get you back home”, Peter tried to reason with her.

The Black Cat began walking again but stopped right behind him.

“Oh but why? I like it here. How are we going to have our little rendezvous when I’m gone, Peter”, she leaned in behind him and all but whispered his name in his ear.

For a while he was silence.

“CUT!”, the director yelled, “Tom, you missed your line”.

“Everything okay?”, (Y/N) whispered.

But Tom was kinda shaken up. The Black Cat was less sexualized as she’d be in the comics. They were supposedd to be teenagers after all. But this was (Y/N). His (Y/N). He was okay acting with her but when she was so close to him that he could feel her breath tickling his ear, he froze up. His mind drew a blank and all he could do was stand there and wish that the ground would open up and swallow him whole.

“Five minute break, everybody”, the director announced.

As everybody scattered around, (Y/N) made her way over to her ex-lover.

“Hey.. Tom, are you okay?”

“Yes, of course I’m okay!”, Tom was exasperated, “Everybody misses their line once in a while! Why is this such a big deal?”. Tom pulled his maks off.

“Okay, chill! I was just trying to make sure you’re okay. You looked shaken up. No need for you to lash out at me”, (Y/N) bit back and turned around to leave.

“Wait!”, Tom rubbed his hands over his face, “I’m sorry. I’m just a little frustrated but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you”.

(Y/N) furrowed her brows but nodded quickly after. She was never one to hold grudges.

“I care about you, Tom”

For a moment they just stood there before (Y/N) clapped her hands.

“So, let’s get our shit together and kill this scene”

*******************************************************************************************

After weeks of working together this all felt like the first time all over again. Jacob would often joke that the “gang was back together” and at times it really felt like that.

“Do you remember when Tessa literally shredded your briefs?”, (Y/N) was wheezing at that point, tears rolling down her face, smudging her mascara.

“Yes and those were literally my last clean pair. Do you remember? I just came back from the press tour”, Tom continued.

All of them burst out laughing. It was their first free evening in a while and the group decided to spend it together with a few drinks and lots of food. Both Zendaya and Jacob feared that it might be awkward having Tom and (Y/N) there together but there was no trace of any bitterness or any other kind of hard feelings. They just felt like friends hanging out together.

“Wait, this reminds me... You left your mermaid blanket at my place”

“Hm, I’ll come get it next time I’m in London”

“I mean you’re of course always welcome to swing by but I really doubt you’d want that blanket, love. Tessa kind of claimed it as hers. There is so much drool on it... you better just get a new one”, Tom told the girl, eventhough he liked the idea of her back in his apartment.

“Well, she can keep it”, (Y/N) chuckled. She did notice his use of the word ‘love’ but she didn’t mind. It felt organic coming from him, he was British after all.

After that the conversations shifted and the boys strarted their own little talks about video games and whatnot. (Y/N) and Zendaya just caught up further, talking about their projects, giving interviews and photoshoots.

It was at that moment that the music in the background changed to Circles by Post Malone.

“Soooo.. Post Malone, huh?”, Zendaya wiggled her eyebrows at her friend.

(Y/N) shrugged and smiled sheepishly.

“What can I say?”, (Y/N) really didn’t know.

“Maybe start with how you two met?”, Zendaya suggested, grinning. She was thirsty for some gossip.

At the mention of the new topic Tom perked up but tried to stay low-key.

“I mean we followed each other on social media for a while at this point but never talked or anything. However, me and him attended the same event a few months back. I guess, we recognized one another and started vibing. I asked him about that one shirt he was wearing in the ‘Go Flex’ music video and he made sure to dig it out of his closet and gave it to me. After that we just kept talking”, she tried to be nonchalant but it was apparent to the others that she was a little flustered.

“Awww, that’s so cute”, Zendaya reacted.

(Y/N) broke out grinning.

“You guys don’t realize how crazy talented he is. So fun to be around and creative, too. I’ve never met anybody that extravagant but at the same time so down to earth. Our first date was at an Olive Garden. Can you imagine? We freaking drove there in a Rolce Royce”, if this were anything other than real life, the girl would’ve had heart-eyes by now.

Tom had heard enough. He stood up abruptly.

“Anybody want another drink? I’ll get enother round”, he offered. He didn’t want to make a scene. He just needed to get away for a moment.

When he returned the topic of conversation had changed, which Tom was thankful for.

“Virgin Colada for you”, he handed (Y/N) her drink.

“And for the rest of us... The grown up drinks”, he teased (Y/N), who in return stuck her tongue out at him.

The evening was too nice to ruin it now with hurt feelings. She seemed happy and as long as he could just ignore Post Malone even existed in his sphere, he’d be alright.

*******************************************************************************************

It was a nice morning on set. Tom and (Y/N) already had an early scene that was set during sunrise, which meant they had to get up earlier than (Y/N) would’ve liked.

They were given a short break but catching up on sleep would mean getting out of their costumes and messing up their hair and make up. So, not an option really.

“I don’t operate well when I’m tired”, (Y/N) whined as she and an Tom returned to where the trailers were standing.

“M’lady, may I invite you for a cup of coffee? It might lift your spirits”, Tom bowed down but looked up at the girl with a cheeky grin.

“You realize the coffee is free, right?”, (Y/N) deadpanned.

Tom shrugged and both burst out laughing, bickering on their way to the catering.

The others were already there, when they arrived. But they were not just on their own. Next to Zendaya stood a young man and a women, that seemed to be a little older than them.

“Morning, guys, how did your scene go?”, Jacob greeted the new arrivals.

“It’s been good. Too early though.. I mean if you ask me at least”, (Y/N) answered.

“How are you?”, Tom asked.

“Everything good?”, (Y/N) added.

“Can’t complain”, Zendaya answered, “let me introduce you to my family. This is my mom, Claire. And this is my brother, Austin”

Zendaya was grinning from ear to ear.

They were around the halfway point of shooting, which was usually when people liked their friends and family to come around and visit them.

(Y/N) mimicked her friend’s smile and greeted the visitors. It was nice meeting the family behind the actors and creators.

While Tom was greeting Zendaya’s family, (Y/N) turned towards her with her eyebrows raised.

“Girl, your brother is mighty fine”, she not so subtly murmured.

“It must be nice to have your family here”, Tom turned to Zendaya.

“Yes, of course. I’ve missed them so much”, she squeezed her mothers hand, “do you have any visits arranged?”

“Uh, no. Not yet. But I do have a little while to go still”, he answered.

“(Y/N), you must be excited for next week, right?”, Jacob asked the actress.

“Why? What happens next week?”, Tom was puzzled.

“Austin is visiting”, (Y/N) informed him.

The Brit raised his eyebrows.

“You’re kidding right?”, he was looking around, waiting for someone to tell him this was just an unfunny joke.

“No, why would I be?”, his ex-girlfriend inquired.

“Because this is low, (Y/N). Really low even”, Tom grunted, “I need to get out of here”.

With that he left the group standing and stormed away.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N). I didn’t mean to stirr anything up”, Jacob scrambled for an apology. He didn’t mean to ruin the mood.

“No. Don’t feel sorry, Jacob. I’m tired of walking on eggshells around him. We are adults. I’ve moved on and he should too. Just give him a little time to calm down”, she assured him.

Then she turned towards the buffet had had her breakfast.

The following week was a little strange. (Y/N) felt bad for Tom but she was so done with making apologies.

The both of them still worked fine together but other than that they were a little distanced. They still talked and they still hung out as a group but whatever progress the two of them have made so far was out of the window. The tension, however, did help their fighting scenes together.

(Y/N) was sad about losing Tom as a friend but she also realized she couldn’t expect them to still be friends after she broke up with him. Being civil was enough for her - at least for the moment.

*******************************************************************************************

(Y/N) was giddy on the morning Austin was suppsoed to arrive. She really did miss him and with the Tom situation going on, she felt especially estranged from everything.

The musician arrived just as (Y/N) had finished her final scene for the day. She was still in costume but that didn’t stop her from sprinting over to her new boyfriend and clinging onto him.

“Austin!”, she squealed.

He engulfed her in a hug, swallowing her body completely.

“I missed you”, he whispered into her neck.

“Ahem...”

(Y/N) heard someone clear their throat from behind her. When she turned around, she saw Zendaya, Jacob and Tom waiting impatiently. In Tom’s case, however, he just looked more annoyed at the public display of affection.

“Don’t you want to introduce us?”, Zendaya suggested. She, too, was excited to meet Post Malone, who was one of the most successful musicians at the moment.

“Yes, of course. Austin, those are Zendaya, Jacob and Tom. Guys, this is Austin”, she introduced everybody.

“Dude, it’s so dope to meet all y’all. Being on set of Spider-Man is so surreal”, Posty beamed. He was never one to be shy around new people.

“Hey, can I leave you here for a second? How about I go change and then we go have dinner?”, (Y/N) suggested.

“Fine by me”, her boyfriend shrugged and (Y/N) left them to go change.

When she returned they were still stood there talking about god knows what. Tom looked a little displeased but other than that there was no indicator for anything other than a friendly conversation.

Austin put his arm her shoulder when she reached them but didn’t stop his conversation until Zendaya ended her sentence.

“All good? We ready to leave?”, he turned towards her and pressed a kiss on the crown of her head, as he was way taller than the girl.

Tom pulled a face when he did that, but tried to get it together before anybody could notice.

“So, are you guys joining us?”, Austin asked the group.

“Can’t unfortunately”, Jacob answered for them.

“Still got some scenes that need to be shot today”, Tom added. This was probably the first time he was thankful for his busy schedule. He didn’t think he could stand seeing them together. Especially seeing how affectionate they were with each other. There was no use in denying it anymore. He was jealous. And why was that? Because he was still in love with (F/N) (L/N).

“Aww that’s too bad, man. But next time for sure, ye?”, the rapper answered before they all said their goodbyes and parted.

At night after dinner (Y/N) and Austin were lying in bed talking about everything that they have missed out on the other’s everyday lives. Music, shooting, friends and family...

“So, how have you been? You told me you’re worried it’d be weird interacting with your ex again but he seems pretty nice to me”, Post asked the girl.

She was tracing his exposed tattoos with her finger, something he really enjoyed. Austin wasn’t always the most confident in his looks but that didn’t matter to her.

“He is”, she finally answered, “he’s a great guy. Usually very sweet and caring.. I think maybe him and me could be friends again..”

“Wow. Seems like you miss him. Should I be worried?”, he looked down at her.

She was still concentrated on his tattoos on his chest, when he said that but looked up at him to answer.

“No. Of course n-”, she started to deny but that was already enough for him to flip them over and pepper her with kisses and tickles, making her squeal and flail around, trying to escape his grasp.

*******************************************************************************************

It’s been a few days since (Y/N)’s new boyfriend arrived and Tom hated to admit it, but Austin Post was actually a decent guy, that he would probably even like if it wasn’t for him being with his ex-girlfriend, that he was very much still in love with. Austin’s likeability made Tom dislike him even more though. It would be so much easier if he were just an overall unpleasant bloke.

“So, Austin, how long are you staying?”, Zendaya asked him over breakfast.

“Uh just a couple more days”, he answered with his mouth still half full.

“Ah that’s nice. So you’ll still be here when Melanie arrives”, Tom spoke up.

(Y/N) almost broke her neck whipping her head around at the mention of that name.

She slammed down her cutlery, stood up and gestured for Tom to follow her, which he did.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”, she yelled once she was out of earshot.

“What’s wrong with me?”, Tom whipped around.

The girl was surprised by his outburst.

“Don’t you think it’s a little class-less to literally fly out your new guy?”, his tone turned condescending.

“Goddamnit, Tom! Are we still not over that? Everybody is flying their loved ones out, why shouldn’t I?”, (Y/N) was getting fired up now.

“I could ask you the same question, (Y/N). I’m merely having a good friend of mine visit me. What’s the difference?”

“The difference is, Tom, that you flew her out out of spite. You had no intention to have her visit you, before you found out that Austin was going to come visit. We are broke up. Do you expect me to stay single forever?”

“Well, you got over me awfully fast, didn’t you Sweetheart?”, he spat the last part, not even denying her accusation. (Y/N) couldn’t help but notice how handsome he looked with his hair unkempt from ruffling it in his frustration, but she chose to ignore those feelings bubbling up inside of her.

“Well, you made it awfully easy for me, Sweetheart!”, she mimicked him.

“And why is that? Because I helped a friend? Your jealousy ruined this relationship,(Y/N)!”, Tom didn’t mean what he said but he was too hurt to care at the moment.

“Yes, of course. I ruined this relationship. It wasn’t the fact that you literally moved in another girl?”, (Y/N) was being unfair now. She didn��t have a problem with Melanie at all. She never made a move at Tom or gave (Y/N) any other reason to disklike her. She was actually a really sweet girl. But (Y/N) was too hurt to care at the moment.

“You’re seriously worried about me having cheated on you? He is fucking rapper! What do you think he does when he’s on tour?”, Tom threw up his hands.

“Austin hasn’t given me any reason to doubt him. He’s been nothing but amazing to me. That’s more that I could say for you”, she dug at him.

To say that this didn’t hurt would’ve been a lie. Tom was taken aback for a moment before he just muttered a ‘fine’ and left her standing.

From then on it was radio silence between the two of them. (Y/N) was looking forward to the end of shooting. When she broke up with Tom, she didn’t anticipate this all to blow up in their faces like this. She didn’t want to create a hostile environment for anybody. She knew for a fact that Zendaya and Jacob felt uncomfortable with the current situation. They felt like the victims of a bad divorce. And even Tom seemed to be more down than she had seen him in a while.

(Y/N) greeted Melanie when she arrived but other than that she kept to herself. She dreaded the day Austin had to leave again because that would mean she’d be alone with Tom and Melanie.

Tom was happy to have Mel with him again. (Y/N) wasn’t the only one that was feeling bad about the whole situation. Instead of connecting with her again, he had just driven her away further.

However, neither of them could let go of their resentment. Both of them were desperate to get some kind of reaction out of the other.

“Here, Mel. You really gotta try these! They taste amazing”, Tom held his spoon out for Melanie to try the tasty dessert. Them sharing food wasn’t something out of the ordinary for them but usually Tom wouldn’t spoon-feed his friends. At this moment, though, he tried to be as animated as possible to make sure (Y/N) noticed.

And she did notice. It took a lot from her to not give him the reaction he was gunning for. Instead she made it a point to get really cozy with her new boyfriend to show her ex that she wasn’t bothered at all.

“Babe, not that I don’t enjoy making out with you but I know you’re doing this to get back at Tom”, Austin murmured in his lover ear after they parted their kiss. His husky voice was sending goosebumps down her spine - not least because she knew he was right.

“You should talk to him”

*******************************************************************************************

”Tom, can we talk?”, it took (Y/N) a great deal of convincing herself to make her way over to him.

Tom was surprised, he didn’t expect her to ever speak to him again but complied.

They made their way over to her trailer and sat down inside of it. Neither of them said a word. (Y/N) didn’t know why she was feeling so nervous. It’s just Tom.

Get yourself together, damnit. Deep breath and go...

“Tom.. I’m sorry”, she already had thought exactly of what what she was going to say but at the moment drew a complete blank.

“What for?”, Tom was being huffy.

“Everything. You are right. I shouldn’t have just flown Austin out. I should have at least talked to you beforehand. I really didn’t mean to hurt you...”

“Me neither”, Tom softened up.

For a moment they just sat in silence, but for the first time since they started shooting it wasn’t uncomfortable at all.

“I miss you, you know”, he looked up from his lap and into her eyes. She was about to answer, when he silenced her.

“I miss you so damn much and I hate seeing you with him. He seems like a great dude but (Y/N) be honest with me... Do you really love him?”

(Y/N) was taken aback. She did not expect that sort of question now.

“I.. I do”, she answered truthfully. Tom’s face fell. How could he be so stupid and still hope there’d be a future for them that’s anything but friendly.

“But it’s not the same... I love him. He’s amazing but he’s not you”

She felt so terrible for saying that. Austin has been nothing but loving to her and they haven’t fought once in all that time that they were together but being around Tom again showed her that there was something missing.

Tom perked up, he couldn’t believe his ears but when he properly registered her words a show stopping grin found it’s way on his face.

“That’s amazing. I mean not for him obviously but.. you know what I mean", Tom was excited. They could start over again and be better than they were before.

He noticed that (Y/N) didn’t share the same excitement as him.

“Love, are you okay? Are you not happy?”, Tom scooted closer to her.

“No, I am. It’s just, we can’t just pick up where we left off, Tom. We.. we.. Austin wasn’t the problem that broke us up to begin with. We can’t ignore everything that has been going on”, sounded desperate. It’s true though. Just because she didn’t feel the same way for her new boyfriend as she felt for Tom, didn’t mean all their other problems were gone.

Tom craddled her face in his hands.

“Darling, it’s going to be okay. Look at me. We won’t do the same mistakes again, okay?”, Tom leaned his forehead against hers. (Y/N) was always a rather anxious person that needed to be calmed down frequently, when she was freaking out.

She took a deep breath and relaxed into his touch. It was nice to feel his skin against hers again.

“You okay?”, Tom asked.

She nodded and a small smile found it’s way on her face.

At this moment Tom couldn’t resist anymore. It’s been too long that he had felt her lips against his but just as he was about to lean in she pulled back.

“What are you doing? Tom, I’m still in a relationship... It wouldn’t be fair to Austin if we’d started foolin aroung behind his back. Let me at least talk to him before we properly make-up”

Tom did feel a little disappointed but understood what she was saying.

“Not even a little peck?”, he tried but shut up when (Y/N) shot him a warning look. One could try...

Both of them exited her trailer. While (Y/N) made her way over to where Post was waiting, Tom joined Melanie and his co-stars again. Tom’s good mood didn’t go unnoticed though.

“What got you all smiles?”, Zendaya teased.

“I may or may not have made up with (Y/N)”, Tom bragged in a sing-song voice.

“Wait what? When did that happen? Not that I’m not happy for you but last time I saw her she was making out with Post Malone”, Zendaya was thrown off by the newly found information and while Tom explained the situation (Y/N) had to break the news to Austin.

She didn’t want to have this conversation but she was confident that she was naking the right decision.

“Hey, Babe. Did you two talk it out?”, Austin looked up from his phone when his girl approached him.

“Austin? Can we talk?”, it was the second time today that she would have to use that phrase. She couldn’t but to think how cliche she sounded.

“Oh oh. That doesn’t sound good”, his smile faded, “you’re not breaking up with me, are you?”

There was no need for her to answer his question because as soon as she teared up he got his answer.

“Nononono. Don’t cry, please”, he tried to soothe her which made her feel even worse. Why was he being so nice to her?

“What happened, (Y/N)?”

“We talked”

“I figured that much”

Ouch..

“Well, I apologized and so did he. We kinda made up”

“There is probably no use trying to convince you otherwise, huh?”, Austin had already admitted defeat.

“Probably not”

“I never stood a chance, did I? It’s always been him...”, he huffed out a laugh. He sounded disappointed but he was coping.

“That’s not true. I think you are one of the most remarkable people I’ve ever had the fortune of meeting but ...”

“But I’m not him”, Austin ended her sentence for her.

“I’m so sorry. I really do love you but being on set with him again just brought back all those feelings”

Both were just sitting there for a moment.

“But we’re still friends right?”, Austin broke the silence, looking at the girl across from him.

(Y/N) blinked for a few times.

“Of course”, she was so perplexed. She didn’t expect him to not be pissed at her. He chuckled when he saw how confused the girl was. He wasn’t mad at her. She had feelings for someone else. That’s something out of her control. He did however still want to have her in his life - even if it’d be just as friends.

“C’mere”, he held out his arms and engulfed her in a massive bear hug.

“I don’t understand. You’re not angry?”

“No, how could I? We’re cool”, he reassured her, “but I can’t promise I won’t write a song ot two about you”

“Well, I can’t blame you”

They both had a laugh about it but then the atmosphere became a little more serious again.

“I should go”, Austin broke the silence.

“You don’t have to”

“No front, but, (Y/N), I really don’t want to see you with Tom. At least not at the moment”, he explained to her.

(Y/N) just nodded. She didn’t want to make things worse for him. While he took the news like a pro, she could still see that he was hurt. He was not about to fight a battle he already knew he couldn’t win but it really wasn’t a good feeling to be left for someone else either.

The two of them hugged it out for a little while longer and then Austin made his way to leave the set back to his hotel room to pack his bags and fly home.

He stopped to say goodbye to the others. Eventhough he would rather not see Tom at the moment, just leaving without a word would be rude. Also, he was not about to leave with his tail between his legs. He was Post Malone after all.

When he approached the others their conversation died down and Tom’s bright smile disappeared completely. There was no way for him to know how the rapper would react. But the latter decided to not say anything at all.

Austin said his goodbyes and turned to leave but before he left, he told Tom something only they could hear.

*******************************************************************************************

Back in her hotel room, (Y/N) tried to relax after the long day she just had. The last time she was this exhausted was ages ago.

At the moment, she was getting ready to take a shower and go snuggle up in bed to get some sleep before she had to leave to shoot the next morning.

Just as she was about to hop under the warm, relaxing water, there was a knock on her door. (Y/N) didn’t expect anybody this late but she had an idea who it could be.

“Hello, Tom”, she greeted her lover.

“Can I come in? Or am I interrupting something?”, the actor looked the girl up and down. He couldn’t help but have his eyes linger a little as he couldn’t help but notice she was only dressed in a towel at the moment.

“I was just about to have a shower but you’re welcome to come in and wait”, she told him.

As he closed the door behind him she turned around and added, “or you could join me of course”

She made it sound like an option but that opportunity was too good for Tom to pass up.

Being underneath the water with him just felt right. He was a little taller than her so the water from his hair dripped down on her face as they were standing chest to chest. He leaned down and his lips met hers. She started smiling into the kiss nefore they parted.

“I missed this”, Tom’s voice was husky.

She did too. She wasn’t a fool, there was still a lot to work through but at this very moment everything just felt right. His body against hers felt right. His lips on hers felt right. Them together... felt so right.

“I love you, Tom”

*******************************************************************************************

Epilogue

Both of them were cuddled in bed dressed in the white, fluffy bathrobes the hotel provided, talking about anything and everything with the occasional kiss in between.

“It’s two o’clock already. We should really go to sleep if we want to be able to function tomorrow”, she reminded her boyfriend.

“At this point, I am tempted to pull an all-nighter, love”, he winked at her.

“An all-nighter doing what exactly?”, (Y/N) teased her man.

“You know? Before Post left he told me to be good to you and I think that’s exactly what I will be doing tonight”

“I really don’t think that’s what he meant, babe”, she laughed.

“Close enough for me”, he murmured as he leaned down to kiss her once again but most definitely not for the last time that night.

#tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #post malone imagine #post malone x reader #spiderman imagine

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drowninglight · 3 years

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17 questions, 17 people!

thanks @babytreehugger @antxrcticas @analynasi @zuko-thee-stallion and @iloveallmyfandomsequally for tagging me!

i know i'm so late lmao sorry

1. Nickname: jay / avery

2. Zodiac: aries

3. Height - like 5 feet or 5'1 or 5"2 idk

4. Hogwarts House - hufflepuff?? i think??

5. Last Thing I Googled - a bunch of discord bots bc i was redoing my entire bellarke server kjfhjdflsdkf (dm me if u wanna join pls it's literally so dead)

6. Song Stuck in My Head - i have a lot of them but telepatía by kali uchis since i'm listening to the 1 hour loop rn as well as get you by daniel ceasar ft kali uchis and also make up your mind by florence and the machine.

7. Number of Followers - 171 jhdfdkjfhsdl i love y'all

8. Amount of Sleep - uhh i slept at 3 am and woke up at 10 so about 7 hours

9. Lucky Number - idk like 3, 7, 28, 72, 36, 10, 11, 12 and 13 (don't ask)

10. Dream Job - uhhhhh i actally don't know but uhm i think maybe a doctor?? like a surgeon.

11. Wearing - a blue hoodie and pink pyjama pants with little black moons, cats, stars and cupcakes on them :D

12. Favorite Author - idfk don't ask me shit about books

13. Favorite Instrument - baha idk like the guitar or sum but i only know how to play the recorder and the xylophone

14. Aesthetic - i wanna be both indie and grunge wtf

15. Favorite Song - why are you doing this to me. i do not kNOW― but probably like do me a favor by artic monkeys or make up your mind or something idk

16. Favorite Animal Noise - uhhh???????????? cats meowing ig?????? tf is this question anyway

17. Random - uhh i live in canada

tags: @lovelessdyke @johnmurphyisqueer @ultimatereyesstan @unremarkablegirl @disiaster @skainatblida @hyunjinsuns @tryingtolivethroughtheday @history-be-written @paladin-yue @strawberrymilkyumyum @the-peregrine and yeah i tink that's all (12/17, not bad imo)

#tag games #about me #long post #mutuals

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i-do-trash-fanfictions · 3 years

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Answers for the OC Questionnaire I did:

What are their showers like? Thera’s showers are always hot. There is steam everywhere and it feels like a sauna.

What genre of books do they like? Thera personally likes fantasy books. She got a lot of them after Sora’s death, since Sora liked that genre as well.

Favorite movies? Dirty Dancing, and the Goonies.

If they had to stay inside for a day, what would they do? She would probably write in her journal, or read, with a mug of hot chocolate in her hand.

If they’re spending time with friends, what are they usually doing together? Thera and Ann are probably getting into trouble. Ship races, doing bets to see who can kill the most enemies, ect. Or they are doing something sweet, like watching a movie, or going to see the kids down in the city.

Any collections? Thera actually likes to collect rocks that look cool. If she finds one she likes, she puts it away into a pocket, then puts it on a shelf on her bookshelf when she gets home.

Is there a color they wear a lot? Thera likes to wear purple and white a lot.

Sexuality? Thera’s straight, but really I feel like in the day and age of Destiny, sexualities don’t really exist anymore. You date who you like, no matter their gender, or whether they’re an exo, human, or awoken.

Introvert or Extrovert? I feel like Thera’s both. She likes to be alone or with only a few people, but she’s fine with being around others.

Do they have only a few close friends or many friends? Only a few. She doesn’t really want to make too many friends because that would just mean more anxiety and more people to worry about.

Any hobbies? Thera will sometimes write short stories because she likes to do it, but she doesn’t do it all the time.

Do they go to bed early or stay up late? Do they get up early or get up around mid-day? Thera likes to stay up late, and sleep in. There have been many times where she has slept in until 3pm and only woke up because Scout or Ann made her get up.

Is there a TV show they’d like? I think Thera would like the office and she’d watch it with Scout, Ann, and Poppy.

Any music they like? Thera likes oldies rock, or any type of oldies.

Is there a song that describes them? Uh, maybe Ballroom Blitz? I don’t know.

Do they have a journal? I think you know the answer to that question. Yes, she does.

Any object or thing they like for some reason? Pretty crystals. She’ll sometimes make them into jewelry to wear on special occasions, though most will go on her shelf with the rocks she collects.

What is the aesthetic of their living space? How would you describe it? Probably grunge.

#ocs #destiny hunter #destiny oc

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firefly-in-darkness · 4 years

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tagged by the amazing, loveliest one - @xetoilerouge

1. Which avenger would you recruit to help you plan your birthday?

Pepper Potts because I would have left it to the last minute and she’d save my ass. That woman is a hero in her own right.

2. Which avenger would you switch suits with for a day?

Hope’s Wasp suit. Can you imagine being iddy bitty and flying around? awesome!

3. Which avenger would you want to train with?

Natasha Romanoff, hands down. I wanna climb people like a pole and take them down with a headbutt and a flying kick.

4. Oh No, you need help! Which avenger would you call if you’re in trouble?

Tony Stark of course! He’d get me out of an jam sandwich that I ended up in.

5. Uh oh, you got arrested, which avenger were you with?

Valkyrie. We may have been kicked out of a charity event for being drunk & disorderly... and it maybe have been at one of Tony’s parties so... yeah, we don’t really like to talk about it anymore.

6. The Avengers are playing basketball, which avenger would you pick first to be on your team?

Professor Hulk, nobody stands a chance.

7. You’re trying to make your ex jealous, which avenger do you pretend to date?

Bucky Barnes, duhh. Have you seen that fine specimen of a man?! And who said anything about “pretend” ~ wiggles eyebrows ~

8. You’re out for a good time, and need a wing man/woman, which avenger do you pick for the job?

Tony would drag me out cos he’d bring up how I need to get laid first. Secretly, he’s probably sick of seeing me in my sweats.

9. You woke up with a hangover, which avenger were you drunk with?

Natasha Romanoff, I didn’t believe that she would be that good at holding her drink... now that I think about it, she was probably drinking water whilst I necked the vodka.

10. You’re going on a road trip, which avenger do you ride with?

Steve Rogers because he would totally have all the best snacks in the car cos he’s such a mom.

11. No way! You slept with one of the avengers. Which avenger did you wake up next to?

I’m sorry, I didn’t quite hear you. Can you repeat the question? Sorry the line is breaking up...

12. Your favorite band is having a concert, which avenger goes with you?

Scott Lang because we’d be rocking it, have you seen him on the drums?!

13. You’re going shopping, and need second opinions, which avenger do you trust to help you pick out outfits?

Carol ‘grunge’ Danvers, I love her style and I just might want to be her copycat.

14. Your parents want to meet one of your new friends, which avenger do you take to meet your parents?

Sam Wilson, all that charm would have my mum giving him hugs and my stepdad clapping him on the back. (Steve Rogers would totally be offended that I picked Sam over him too.)

15. You get injured on a mission, which avenger would you trust to be in charge of your care?

Wanda, the gentle creature would be the most soothing and lovely company.

16. Your room is a mess, which avenger do you pick to be your butler, and clean your room?

Groot - he’s the one that trashed it in the first place! I agreed that he could hide out from Rocket and Quill but I did not expect it to be full of cans and take out boxes. Okay maybe a couple of them are mine...

17. You wanna play a prank on the team, but need help. Which avenger do you pick to help you prank the rest of the team?

Rocket, duhh! He’s the most adept at making people believe anything he asks of them, and he’d relish in getting his own back on Bucky for manhandling him on missions.

18. Time to buy Christmas presents, which avenger is the easiest for you to buy for?

Peter Parker, the kid is as much of a geek as me. Then again, maybe I’ll keep that Millenium Falcon 7K pieces Lego Set for myself...

19. You’re going a mission but only one other person can go. Which member of the team, do you choose to go with you?

Bucky, finally some alone time.

Tagging: @princessmisery666 @rainbowkisses31 @queensevansackles @distractedgemini @socie @panicfob

#Avengers #Avengers Tag Game #Avengers Questions

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luci-is-a-devil- · 5 years

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If I’m Not Falling On The Rink, I’m Falling For You

Author Note: Hiya! It’s been a while since my last post, i’m truly excited to show you the part of a possible series! I recommend reading on desktop if you can, a lot easier! I hope you enjoy, its my first time trying a fic based in the past, the 70s to be exact~

Trigger Warning: Cursing / Mentions of blood / Fighting / Homophobia / Underaged Drinking

Word Count: 6,037

When Chanyeol had applied for a job at the local roller skating rink, he hadn't expected to actually get a call back, nor had he thought he'd actually get the job. See, Chanyeol wasn't a bad worker per say, he was really kind to customers and always did things with a smile. It just so happened that Chanyeol was also a student and often studied into the wee hours of the morning and woke up late. Extremely late.

His worst memory was when he was late for his own birthday, it'd be fine if it was ten or fifteen minutes, but this was a whole hour and a half, and he didn't even remember who's birthday it was!

He accepted the job, not that he had much of a choice in the matter, his mother had been on his case to get a job since the day he turned seventeen, something about responsibilities or whatever.

It had been a month and a half since his first day on the job, which hadn't gone as well as he wanted but he got what he expected. Was he late? No. Did he spill cola all over himself and trip over his words to every single customer? Yes, yes he did. But he did it with a smile!

His shifts varied, but he was usually stuck with odd hours and weird days of the week. Monday morning as soon the roller skating rink open, you could expect Chanyeol sitting in his hot dog booth, wearing his dumb uniform that was made to look like ketchup and mustard were on him.

It was July, his second to last summer of being in high school. His friends had already laughed at his uniform but he had laughed at them falling down while 'skating'. You'd think a wannabe dancer like Jongin would be more graceful, but he was not. Chanyeol would compare him to his drunk aunt at Christmas after she found the liquor that his mother had stashed away, hoping that she wouldn't find it. She always did, Chanyeol wasn't sure why his mother tried anymore.

Kyungsoo was alright, he stumbled here and there, but after a while Chanyeol wasn't sure if the small male was doing it on purpose to make Jongin feel better or not. Sehun, was much better than expected, he skated circles around the other two and kept going off by himself to flirt with the other skaters, going so far as to wink at himslef in the mirror multiple times.

That was a typical shift, what he had come to expect.

So when one day, his friends hadn't stopped by, he thought it'd be a boring day until he stopped by.

He being the one and only Byun Baekhyun. Also a soon to be senior in Chanyeol's school, a class clown yet also the class pet. Everyone knew Baekhyun like everyone knew his best friends, Yixing and Jongdae. The three had gotten close since the first year of high school when Yixing moved to their town. Jongdae and Baekhyun had already been friends since kindergarten, so they were already a duo of clowns, now they were a trio of fools, pretty ones but fools nonetheless.

Chanyeol had been in the same school as the three, but he'd never gotten a chance to talk to any of them besides an occasional 'excuse me' or 'hello'. Chanyeol and his friends compared to Baekhyun's trio were troublemakers. Except for Kyungsoo who was top of his class, the other three were, interested in other things to say the least.

Where Baekhyun would make his classmates laugh, Chanyeol was interested to see how many times he could leave math class undetected. The answer as of last year was twelve and a half, he would've gotten to thirteen if it wasn't for kyungso throwing an eraser at him.

Whilst the four would attempt to have study sessions, they'd always devolve into a gossip group while they got junk food with whatever money they had on them. Baekhyun and his crew were different, they went to the library to actually study, they were called the pretty boys in school. Chanyeol and his friends had matching leather jackets that they found at a thrift shop.

As Chanyeol was daydreaming and wiping the counter with a rag that was dirtier than the counter, he heard the squeak of the wheels on the rug, meaning that someone approached him in his small hot dog shack. Looking up, Chanyeol dropped his rag on the floor, quickly bending down to get it, only to hit his head on the counter.

Groaning, Chanyeol clutched his head, squatting on the tiled floor.

"Are you alright?"

A voice that was trying not to laugh asked, his voice was light and airy, making Chanyeol fumble as he stood up, grasping on to the table to not fall down.

"Fine! Yes, i'm. Wait, what?"

Chanyeol stumbled over his words, grimacing as he questioned what he just said. Baekhyun giggled, holding his wallet in his hands. The black dots that clouded his vision disappeared, slowly allowing him to see the light brunette boy in front of him.

"How can I help you?"

Chanyeol asked, standing up straight instead of his previous hunched self that had to grasp the table to not fall down. Baekhyun skimmed the menu, his eyes lighting up as he saw something the called his name.

"Can I get an order of cheese fries please! With a water."

Baekhyun's eyes practically sparkled, Chanyeol had to stop himself from flushing, punching the order into the register.

"That'll be two dollars and forty cents, please."

Baekhyun nodded and gave him a five, Chanyeol gave him his change and went into the back to make cheese fries. According to Chanyeol's manager, you were supposed to skimp out on everything you could, fries included. Chanyeol wasn't able to without feeling guilty and usually just made a suitable amount, with a reasonable amount of cheese and bacon, so that's what he did.

Walking back to the counter, holding the tray that held the cheese fries and a water bottle. Placing it on the counter, Chanyeol noticed two dollars in the tip jar that had been empty only a few minutes ago.

"Thank you, Chanyeol!"

With that, Baekhyun grabbed the tray and he was gone. Chanyeol froze, startled by the older teen calling his name. Looking down at his uniform, Chanyeol made sure he wasn't wearing his name tag. He knew he took it off, he hated the thought of so many strangers knowing his name. It wasn't hung on his pocket like it was supposed to be, and there was no way Baekhyun had seen it through his pants pocket. So that could only mean one thing.

Byun Baekhyun knew his name.

It had been a few weeks since the first time Baekhyun visited the roller skating rink, but it wasn't the last, in fact he'd been there at least twice a week by Chanyeol's count, maybe more if his visits weren't only during Chanyeol's shifts.

His friends had continued to make fun of him, they had known of his slight infatuation with the light brunette before he'd seen him at the rink, now that he'd seen him plenty, now with shared smiles and quick banter, Chanyeol was falling deeper and deeper.

It was his day off, a Saturday. You'd think that was the day they needed him but nope, apparently Mondays and Wednesdays were the shifts that were empty. So instead of doing his summer packet, studying, or sending in applications to colleges, Chanyeol was at a diner with his friends.

They were wearing their leather jackets, even if Sehun complained that they looked dumb all together. Chanyeol laughed, saying that Sehun looked dumb anyway. A bruised shoulder in the shape of a fist was worth it when he saw the younger teen roll his eyes, and they were at the diner, drinking as many milkshakes as they could.

Another typical Saturday.

Leather jackets weren't the only reason they were getting strange stares, it might have to do with Sehun wearing platform boots or his jeans with chains, maybe it was Jongin and Kyungsoo who were holding hands and laughing at Sehun's stomping, or it was about Chanyeol who was pointing out that Sehun could just take off his jackets if it really bothered him that much.

They had grown used to the stares, it was either they learned to deal with it or fit themselves into the social construct. They went with the first choice, it seemed so much more fun.

They were squeezed into a booth, laughing at Sehun spit balling at Jongin who retorted with a wet willy, mature teen stuff. As they waited for another round of shakes, Kyungsoo nudged Chanyeol, getting the tallest males attention.

"What, Soo?"

Chanyeol questioned, staring at the black haired teen. Kyungsoo pointed at the entrance of the diner, making Chanyeol squint to see what he was pointing at. At the double doors of the diner stood Baekhyun and his crew. The three held bags from stores and were laughing. Chanyeol flushed, immediately turning his sight away from the trio.

Unlike Chanyeol's leather jacket and jeans, Baekhyun wore high waisted pants with a flannel tied around his waist and a white tank top. He looked like he wandered out of a catalog compared to Chanyeol's grunge esque fashion that typically came from goodwill and other thrift shops.

The four got their milkshakes, Sehun's arriving with a slice of cake as well. The youngest had quite the sweet tooth to his brothers chagrin, it was always a fight between the two. Since their parents had disappeared, Junmyeon had become the legal guardian of his step-brother. It had been three years, Sehun had gathered some sort of disdain for his parents after their disappearance. What the public hadn't known was that they left after Sehun had come out.

The day after, Sehun returned home with Chanyeol in tow. He had slept over at the elders house, not excited to return home. From what Chanyeol could gather between the crying was that it hadn't gone well, but he could tell that by the fading red mark on Sehun's left cheek.

At Sehun's apartment they had expected to see the two stood there, perhaps ignoring their don or even beginning the fight from last night all over again. Instead what the teens saw was an empty apartment. The living room had been stripped of all signs of living, the only remaining furniture being the couch and the ugly rug they had gotten from Kyungsoo's mom.

It was a strange week and a half, lots of angry tears and tantrums. Junmyeon had returned after being called by the police, he'd requested a transfer from his office job in New York to California.

Chanyeol knew it was the guilt that Sehun struggled with, that he'd caused his parents to leave and his brother had to give up his dreams for him. Even the littlest argument caused Sehun to spiral, they'd find him days later in an alley passed out.

Maybe that's why the three babied the youngest, even Jongin who was barely older treated the younger like he was a child, gifting him with sweets and letting him sneak through the window into his room to spend the night.

When Chanyeol was shaken out of his thoughts, he was horrified to see Baekhyun in front of him, all six males looking at the tall teen. Chanyeol flushed, quickly looking at Kyungsoo to plead with him to save him from the awkwardness he'd unknowingly created.

"Baekhyun asked if you wanted to sit together."

Kyungsoo stated, smirking at Chanyeol. Chanyeol nodded, and the four moved over to a table that could seat all of them.

The seven of them got to talking, the extroverted males easily taking over the conversation while the introverted ones listened and put forth their words in where they wanted.

Baekhyun was sat across from Chanyeol at the furthest edge of the table. Taking a sip from his milkshake that had deflated quite a bit, Chanyeol's attention was dragged away from the conversation when Baekhyun called his name.

"Yes?'

Chanyeol asked the brunette, staring at him. The older teen smiled, a whipped cream mustache on his cupids bow causing Chanyeol's stomach to fill with butterflies.

"Can I have your cherry?"

Baekhyun asked, making Chanyeol gawk at him. Chanyeol had his heart on his sleeves, or more likely, his blush on his ears. His ears already stuck out, now having them be red garnered much more attention than he would have cared for.

"My what?"

Chanyeol stumbled over his two words, making Baekhyun laugh. It sounded so precious that Chanyeol wanted to record it and keep it forever, bottle it up inside his memories and never let it go.

"Your cherry! I see you going around it.Can I have it?"

Baekhyun pointed out the fruit that remained in Chanyeol's mostly empty milkshake. Chanyeol, flushed harder, realizing that the question had been perfectly acceptable.

Chanyeol fished out the red fruit that had spots of whipped cream on it, offering it to Baekhyun. Instead of plucking the fruit with his own fingers, he got closer to the fruit and used his mouth to grasp it out of Chanyeol's fingers.

Chanyeol stared, his face probably redder than the cherry had been. Baekhyun smiled, his eyes shutting as his tilted his head to the right. Chanyeol smiled back, to the best of his abilities.

Baekhyun didn't need to know that the cherry was Chanyeol's favorite part.

A month had passed, Chanyeol's last year of high school was coming up fast. He had so much to do, he'd begun to wonder what he'd spent his summer doing. Between working at the hot dog booth and spending time with his friends, he'd only done half of his summer packet but honestly that was more than anyone was expecting him to do.

He had to quit the hot dog shack soon though, he kept putting it off hoping to see Baekhyun again. It had been a week since he'd last seen the trio, the last time was at a beach on a Wednesday. Had it been planned by them? Not to Chanyeol's knowledge and he wasn't sure that it was plain coincidences anymore.

It was a Thursday afternoon, his sister had gone out with some friends and his parents had gone to some party. They had said he could invite Sehun over but the newly dyed orange haired teen was grounded, Junmyeon hadn't been too thrilled with the new hair color. Chanyeol's parents hadn't either but they'd gotten used to their son going along with Sehun's antics.

So Chanyeol was sat on his bed, in his pajamas at a reasonable time, four in the afternoon to be exact. His guitar sat in the corner of his room, begging to be played but Chanyeol couldn't be bothered, his mind was to muddled with thoughts of the future.

Soon he'd be off to college, for the first time since second grade he and his friends wouldn't be together. Jongin had gotten into an art school, which they had all been excited for but it was an underlying thought that they were in fact growing up, they had things that had to be done and wouldn't have time for each other anymore.

Sehun wasn't going to college, he wasn't sure what he wanted to do. Chanyeol couldn't blame him, there had always been so much going on in the younger teens life to navigate around that he had never gotten the chance to figure out what he wanted to do.

Kyungsoo wanted to be an author, his parents wanted him to be a doctor. So he was going to med school, in New York. That had put a damper on things, especially between Jongin and Kyungsoo. They had just gotten together and by this time next year, they'd be in different states. It'd been awkward last time they'd all hung out, they'd ended up back at their houses before sun down.

Chanyeol's was knocked out of his worried state of mind by the phone ringing. He had a passing thought to ignore it but the last time he'd done that he got an earful from his mother, so downstairs he went. Speed walking into the kitchen, he picked up their red phone from the base and humming into it.

"Chanyeol?"

Chanyeol all but dropped the phone, surprised at the familiar voice.

"Baekhyun?"

The teen hummed back, giggling over the line. Chanyeol was breathless, the feeling of butterflies back in his stomach.

"How'd you get my number?"

Chanyeol asked the brunette, racking his mind to see if he had blurted it out at some point. As far as he could remember, he had not. That was too smooth for him, the best he had done was compliment Baekhyun's shoes, and even then he had made it sound like he was going to steal them.

So yeah, flirting wasn't going well.

"Sehun gave it to me." Baekhyun paused, giving a moment for Chanyeol to think how unlikely it was that the teen had given his number to his crush with good intentions. "He said to say sorry that he couldn't hang out with you today?"

That was more like Sehun, the teen apologized through others. Before Chanyeol had found it frustrating, he still did but not as bad as before.

"Yeah, that sounds like him."

Chanyeol agreed, nodding even though the elder couldn't see him.

"What's up with him? Why couldn't he hang out with you guys?"

Baekhyun asked, causing Chanyeol to hum again, trying to figure out how he should phrase what he wanted to say.

"His brother grounded him, Junmyeon wasn't thrilled with Sehun's hair. It was only me he would hang out with, he's avoiding Soo and Jongin, too awkward to third wheel, even for Sehun."

Perhaps he could have phrased it better but it was still better than the usual garbage he spewed.

Baekhyun made a sound of acknowledgement, understanding the drama that came along with friends. There was a minute of silence, a race to see who could come up with something interesting to say to keep the conversation going.

"Do you wanna hang out tomorrow?"

Baekhyun won. Chanyeol nodded, then realized that the elder couldn't see him so he voiced his agreement.

"Cool, see you tomorrow?"

"See you tomorrow."

Another moment of silence, listening to Baekhyun laugh quietly as they stayed on the line. Chanyeol joined in, his cheeks dusted pink.

"Hang up, Park."

Baekhyun said, breathless as he whispered. Chanyeol could imagine the brunette, fingers playing with the cord of the phone as the spoke, his eyes twinkling as he listened to Chanyeol speak.

"Not before you, Byun."

Baekhyun snorted, commenting how gross they sounded before hanging up, leaving Chanyeol to the silence in the line. A dopey smile painted on Chanyeol's face as he hung up the phone, leaning his head against the wall.

Baekhyun wanted to hang out with him.

Friday came slowly and quickly at the same time, Chanyeol couldn't sleep last night. At some point he'd picked out an outfit but after that everything was a blur. Getting dressed into the white t-shirt and high waisted jeans he'd picked out. Deciding on a over shirt instead of his leather jacket, he headed out of his room. Saying goodbye to his parents, he walked out of the house.

Walking the two blocks that it took to get to Baekhyun's house, Chanyeol knocked on the door. Waiting patiently, Chanyeol messed with his hair, anxious to see whoever would come to the door.

Thankfully it was Baekhyun, not his parents.

"Hey Chanyeol! You ready to go?"

Baekhyun asked, shutting the door behind him. The two walked, making conversation as they walked to their destination. Baekhyun hadn't told Chanyeol where he was taking him, nor what they were going to do.

As they approached town, Chanyeol knew where they were headed. He had to laugh as he watched the rink come into view.

"Seriously?"

Chanyeol punched Baekhyun in the shoulder, causing Baekhyun to laugh. The elder shrugged, grasping Chanyeol'd hand and dragging him along. Once they entered the rink, Chanyeol waved to Minseok who was working the counter.

"What's your shoe size?"

Baekhyun asked, removing his shoes and putting them in a cubby nearby.

"Size ten, you?"

Chanyeol asked, doing the same with his shoes, freezing when he looked at his socks. Of course he picked the socks Yoora gave him for Christmas, the ones with breakfast foods on them. Baekhyun stifled a laugh by coughing into his palm, his cheeks pink.

"Size eight."

Chanyeol nodded, walking to the counter to get their skates. Ignoring Baekhyun's calls to get back.

"Hey Yeol! Didn't expect too see you here today."

Minseok said, hopping off of the chair he had been sat on. Minseok was a college student, also one of Chanyeol's favorite co-workers. Minseok was at a communal college, he also didn't rat Chanyeol out for giving too many freebies out.

"I didn't expect it either, Min. Eight and a ten please."

Chanyeol held out a ten dollar bill, only to be waved off by Minseok.

"Keep it, buy your date a milkshake or something, Dumbo." Minseok put the skates on the counter with a thud. "Not from the dog shack though, Namjoon is working and you never know what you get."

Chanyeol nodded, knowing how often the freshman had been chewed out by their manager. Saying a see you later, Chanyeol grabbed the skates and headed back over to Baekhyun who was sulking.

"Lighten up, buttercup." Chanyeol said, placing the shoes on the floor. "We can go for shakes after this, if you want."

Baekhyun smiled, nodding as he slipped his feet into the skates.

"Only if I get to pay."

Chanyeol shrugged, a smile on his face.

"We'll see."

Baekhyun rolled his eyes, standing up after he laced his shoes. Chanyeol attempted to do so, but he wasn't good at walking with normal shoes, even worse with ones that had wheels.

"You're bad at this."

Baekhyun smiled, making Chanyeol stick his tongue out at the brunette. Wobbling over to the railing, Chanyeol managed to make it inside of the rink without falling.

Baekhyun skated next to him, without use of the railing that Chanyeol held onto for dear life. The two laughed at how bad Chanyeol was, laughing especially hard as a child young enough to not be in school zoomed past them.

There was something about spending time with Baekhyun that made Chanyeol giddy inside, he wouldn't be laughing this hard every time he nearly fell. There was no embarrassment, even though Baekhyun could skate circles around Chanyeol if he wanted, in fact he had at some point.

"Come on, let's get milkshakes, Bambi."

Baekhyun teased the pink haired teen, tugging him towards the exit. Chanyeol agreed, flushed by the new nickname he'd acquired. The two skated it to seat they had been at before, removing their skates and putting on their normal shoes.

Chanyeol returned their skates to Minseok, who winked at him. Rolling his eyes at the elder, Chanyeol went back to Baekhyun, the both of them exiting the rink.

They headed to the nearest diner, which was only a block away thankfully. Chanyeol's legs already felt like jelly, he was definitely going to have some bruises tomorrow.

The two went into a booth, ordering their milkshakes. Strawberry for Baekhyun, vanilla for Chanyeol. There was conversation over Chanyeol's wobbly legs, Minseok, and the hot dog shack.

When their milkshakes came, Chanyeol handed over his cherry, laughing as Baekhyun smiled at him. They drank their milkshakes, Baekhyun payed and they headed back to Baekhyun's house.

"Bye Baekhyun."

Chanyeol waved, dropping off the elder. Baekhyun waved, although his mind seemed to be on something else. It was strange but Chanyeol didn't question it. He waited for Baekhyun to enter the house and then walked back to his own house.

The car wasn't in the driveway and he didn't hear his sister so he assumed he was by himself. He was surprised to hear the phone ringing, but he assumed it was Yoora, probably telling him that she wouldn't be home.

"Hello?" He answered the phone, setting his over shirt on the back of a chair.

"Have you seen Sehun?"

Junmyeon's panicked voice carried over the line, instantly causing the hair on the back of Chanyeol's neck to stand. The last time this had happened they had found Sehun in an alley drunk and unconscious.

"No, why?"

Chanyeol needed to know, if it was over a simple fight the younger teen was probably on his way to one of his friends houses. If it wasn't, Chanyeol didn't want to think about it.

"We had a fight a few hours ago, he went into his room and locked the door. He's not there anymore, Yeol. He didn't even take his wallet."

Dread filled Chanyeol's stomach, this wasn't like before. Something was wrong.

"I'll call the others, stay home in case he comes back."

Chanyeol didn't wait for the reply before he hung up. Dialing Kyungsoo, he urged for the black haired male to pick up. As soon as the phone was picked up Chanyeol questioned him, hoping that the youngest teen was with him.

"Is Sehun with you?"

The words came out of Chanyeol's mouth as if they made him sick, the felt like poison, like they were so heavy they could crack the earth.

"No."

A one worded reply, yet he understood the seriousness in Kyungsoo's tone. It was a never spoken fear between the eldest in their group, the fear that they wouldn't be able to find Sehun one day.

"Call Jongin, I'm going to go look for him. If he doesn't know either check by the bars, I'll go the the fort."

Once again Chanyeol hung up without waiting for a reply. Quickly writing out a note in case his parents returned, he rushed out the door, not taking his over shirt.

Thousands of thoughts went through his head, as he ran past dark alleys glancing in them for Sehun's body. Soon he'd gotten to the forest, one of their favorite places to play when they were younger, the place they had the first drink of alcohol.

Sprinting through the foliage, he made through the forest in record time. Getting to the gathering of stumps that they had called their fort.

Relief rushed through his body as he saw a body curled up next to a stump, the orange hair giving away his identity.

"Oh Sehun, what the fuck?"

Chanyeol called, closing the distance between them. Dropping to his knees in front of the younger teen, Chanyeol forced Sehun to look at him. Quietly gasping at the sight of Sehun, Chanyeol froze.

The younger had a split lip, bloody nose, and a black eye, that was only his face, Chanyeol couldn't imagine what his body looked like.

"Did Junmyeon do this?"

Chanyeol whispered, rage filling his every being. This was his friend, who could do something like this to Sehun? The younger teen couldn't hurt anyone, he was all talk.

"God no. He wishes he could, Myeon is too nice."

Sehun replied, blood dripping from his nose. Chanyeol wiped it, rubbing the blood onto his jeans.

"What happened, Sehunnie?"

Chanyeol asked, using the younger teens nickname to calm him down. It worked, Sehun begin to spill what had happened.

"Myeon and I fought, I told him that mom had called. He got angry at me, and I stormed off. I'm so sick of him treating me like a kid, Yeol. I'm seventeen, not three. So I jumped out the window, I forgot to grab my wallet so I couldn't go to the bar."

Sehun paused to spit out some blood, wiping his nose with his hand and then grimacing as his foot moved.

"I went to Yixing's he was having a party so I figured I could get booze there, I did but you know me, always fucking things up. God, I messed things up so bad, Yeol."

Sehun finished, not bothering to say how he ended up here beaten and bloody. Chanyeol knew better then to ask, plus getting Sehun out of here was more important then figuring out who did this. For now.

Helping Sehun up, Chanyeol tried to help the younger walk, telling him to avoid putting pressure on his leg. The two walked in silence, slowly getting out of the forest. They hadn't gotten very far when they ran into a tearful Jongin and a silent Kyungsoo.

"Sehun?"

Jongin cried, fresh tears falling from his eyes as he practically ran into the youngest, squeezing him as he sobbed. Kyungsoo watched, talking to Chanyeol through stares. It was a language that only they spoke, the silent questions and the quiet answers that couldn't be spoken just yet.

"Jongin, we're taking Sehun to the hospital. Grab his other arm."

Chanyeol cut the reunion short, more worried over the pain that the younger was feeling. Jongin nodded, wiping his tears before helping carry Sehun's weight. With both of them to distribute the orange haired teens weight, they could walk faster.

Soon enough they were at the hospital, carrying Sehun inside and receiving strange looks and glares from other patients. They quickly divided up tasks, Chanyeol would carry Sehun to a chair, Kyungsoo would call Junmyeon, and Jongin would get the papers to sign in Sehun.

"I'm sorry."

Chanyeol turned his head, now staring at the boy sat next to him. Chanyeol smiled, staring at him before replying.

"It's alright."

Seven and a half hours had passed from the incident that the four were calling 'Sehun got his ass kicked by mystery people', Junmyeon hadn't appreciated the name. Sehun hadn't told anyone what had happened yet but Chanyeol got an inkling as to who it had been.

Junmyeon had come and finished signed the papers, hugging Sehun before the doctors had taken Sehun away to X-ray his leg. One cast later, the four teens were cramped in Junmyeon's car on the way home. It'd been a few hours since they'd all left their houses, well past their curfews. Junmyeon was taking them home to explain what was going on and to apologize to their parents for keeping them out so late.

The teens had pleaded for him not too but quickly shut up once he glared at them. Jongin and Junmyeon got out of the car first, Junmyeon telling the three that he'd be back. Jongin pressed his lips to Kyungsoo's face, wishing Chanyeol goodnight before ruffling Sehun's hair.

"It was dad."

Sehun whispered after a minute, looking straight ahead so he didn't see their reactions to his words. Chanyeol sighed, nodding. He had been right. Kyungsoo was silent as well, leaving the car to be obnoxiously loud with their thoughts.

"He found me outside of the apartment. I was going to go back in. He didn't even say anything, he just kicked me. He said I was going to die and they could return back to normal with their useless son dead."

Sehun sobbed, furiously wiping his tears away. Chanyeol's hand was clenched into a fist, pissed at how his friend that felt like a younger brother had been treated. Kyungsoo was the next one to speak, also the last one to speak.

"You aren't useless, Oh Sehun."

Harder sobs, Sehun's body shook as he cried. The eldest two were left in the backseat, unable to help. It'd been a long day, one that had started so well ended so poorly. Even if Chanyeol tried to find the positives in the hours, all he could come up with were even more negatives.

One day, they wouldn't be around to help Sehun. They'd be all over the place, they couldn't just up and leave. What happened when Sehun couldn't feel their love anymore? Would it stop with drunken alley fights? Or would Sehun do worse, would he go through with things that he's confessed he'd though about at sleepovers. Chanyeol feared the worst.

Junmyeon came out soon, the three as silent as before even after they dropped off Kyungsoo. When they got to Chanyeol's house, the car wasn't in the driveway. Chanyeol pleaded to just call his parents later, the two needed to get home.

Junmyeon didn't put up a fight, Chanyeol could see the elders bags that laid under his eyes.

"Goodnight Chanyeol."

Junmyeon said as Chanyeol opened the door, putting one foot out before speaking.

"Tell him what happened, Sehunnie."

Shutting the door behind him, Chanyeol walked up to the front door, shocked to see someone sitting on the steps.

"Is Sehun okay?"

Baekhyun.

Chanyeol nodded, opening up the front door and urging the other teen inside. The two made their way inside the kitchen, Chanyeol getting out mugs and making hot chocolate for the both of them.

It had been a long day.

Once the mugs had been filled, Chanyeol offered one to the teen sat across from him. Taking a sip, Chanyeol realized Baekhyun was sat there frozen.

"What's wrong?"

Chanyeol asked, not quite understanding why the teen would be the emotional right now. They had found Sehun, he was mostly alright for the time being. It was up to Sehun what they would be doing now, if they wanted to charge Sehun's dad with assault.

"Does this happen a lot?"

Baekhyun asked his voice shaking as he gripped the mug of hot chocolate, he was so pale. Chanyeol thought over how he would reply, had this happened so often that he'd gotten numb to it?

"I'm not going to lie to you, it happens more than any of us would like. It used to be worse, almost every day. He's gotten better, this time wasn't about Sehun."

Chanyeol knew that didn't make sense, it wouldn't make sense to someone who didn't spend sleepless nights listening to someone you cared about cry. It was hard to explain to someone who hadn't had to spend hours in the dark looking for their best friend fearin that they would be dead.

Perhaps Chanyeol had numbed himself, but he felt so much for the younger that he wouldn't be able to function without shutting himself off.

Both were quiet, sipping their hot chocolate occasionally. It was a silence that made Chanyeol anxious, he'd been infatuated with this boy since the beginning of high school, how would he take it if Baekhyun didn't approve of Sehun.

Tears slowly gathered in Chanyeol's eyes, pooling around his chocolate colored orbs before streaming down his cheeks, a silent sob shaking Chanyeol's body.

When was the last time he cried? When was the last time that he allowed himself to be vulnerable?

"Okay."

Chanyeol looked up, slightly surprised by the single word. His tears clouded his vision, making the brunette across from him seem dream like, as if this was all a fantasy that Chanyeol's subconscious had created.

Baekhyun's chair moved back with a squeak, startling Chanyeol, fearing that the teen was leaving. Instead Baekhyun closed the distance between them, his fingers wiping Chanyeol's tears, lingering on his cheeks.

"I love you," Baekhyun paused, wiping another tear From Chanyeol's eye. The pit of anxiety opened up in Chanyeol's mind and for those few second he spiraled to his worst fears, waiting for a but. It never came. "No matter what, Bambi."

A dopey smile from Baekhyun, the one where he closed his eyes and you could see his tongue behind his teeth, the smile that erase all of Chanyeol's fears instantly. The smile that beat the sun out in brightness, the part of Baekhyun that made Chanyeol want to protect him.

"I love you too."

Tears and all, the thoughts of being separated, the fear of what would happen to his friends not forgotten, those thought lingered in the back of his mind. Like the fear of rain on a perfect day, it was useless to worry about.

Byun Baekhyun was Chanyeol's perfect day and he would be damned if someone took him away.

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xsvervn · 5 years

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𝕷𝖔𝖔𝖐𝖘 𝕽𝖊𝖉, 𝕿𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖘 𝕭𝖑𝖚𝖊 {{𝕾𝖊𝖑𝖋-𝕻𝖆𝖗𝖆}}

ᴀʟʀɪɢʜᴛ ɴᴇʀᴅꜱ, ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ʙᴇ ᴀᴡᴀʀᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪꜱ ʜᴀꜱ ᴅᴇᴘɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ᴏꜰ ꜱᴜɪᴄɪᴅᴇ ᴀᴛᴛᴇᴍᴘᴛꜱ, ᴍᴜʀᴅᴇʀ, ɢʀᴀᴘʜɪᴄ ꜱɪᴛᴜᴀᴛɪᴏɴꜱ, ᴍᴀɴʏ ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ᴏꜰ ꜱᴜɪᴄɪᴅᴀʟ ɪɴᴛᴇɴᴛ, ꜱᴇʟꜰ-ʜᴀʀᴍ, ᴠᴏᴍɪᴛɪɴɢ, ᴠɪᴏʟᴇɴᴄᴇ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴍᴏꜱᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢꜱ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ ᴀ ᴠᴀᴍᴘɪʀᴇ ᴡʜᴏ ᴄᴀɴ’ᴛ ꜱᴇᴇᴍ ᴛᴏ ᴄʜɪʟʟ 80 ᴘᴇʀᴄᴇɴᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ. ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀʟꜱᴏ ᴛᴡᴏ ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴅʀᴏᴡɴɪɴɢ.ɪᴛ'ꜱ ᴀʟꜱᴏ ʟᴏɴɢ ᴀꜱ ꜱʜɪᴛ, ꜱᴏ, ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ'ꜱ ᴛʜᴀᴛ. uwu n all that.

That was a memory that would stick with them for the rest of their lives, they decided. It burned from the inside out, and like a fire that took out entire cities, it tore through the twenty-year-old.

Saeran Kim writhed on the cold, hard ground, nails clawing at their pale skin as they let out gasps from the pain that crippled them.

This was not what they had expected death to be like.

When they had jumped, the water below was supposed to take them. But somehow, by some force unknown, their eyes had opened and their back arched, agony once again taking over. How were they alive?

They could only briefly ponder this as thoughts were dragged back by the throbbing in their skull; Every sound seemed so painfully amplified, every smell sharp in their nose to the point they were worried about bleeding, even their skin prickled in a way that felt far too sensitive. And though their clothes were sopping wet, even though it was late into autumn and the weather bordered on freezing, Saeran only felt a small chill despite the sensitivity that their skin claimed.

What the fuck was happening?

A smell that had lingered in their sinuses brought them all but crawling to their feet, however. Nails that they’d only just gotten done the week before digging in the cold dirt. They felt separate to themselves as they shifted through the brush beneath the bridge where they had made an attempt on their own life. Saeran wondered how they had lived through it, how they had not drowned. They remembered the way that water had choked them. Had burned their eyes, throat, and nose. They had felt scorched by the cold, but now they could only wrap their mind around the scent. Things seemed to become a haze from that point, thoughts running off into forgotten fragments as they grew closer and closer. The burn still present, they could feel it in their veins. In their chest. Their mouth ached and it shot through their skull in a way that would have left them doubling over once again had they been less dedicated to this search.

They didn’t understand why they wanted to find it, but they couldn’t seem to think about anything else.

It wasn’t long until the drenched twenty year old, hair dyed a bright mint tone, skin flushed white with cold, eyes shining brightly with a tone that suggested redness, and posture rigid, came upon a family.

They couldn’t tell you what they looked like, how many members there had been, or even what they had done. Saeran just found the satisfaction in the tearing of skin beneath their teeth. The feeling had been…

Better than anything. It wasn’t easy to describe, it was better than pills or really any drug that they’d found. It was a high that lasted much longer. It soothed their aches, it warmed their flesh and by the time they’d finished with them, beneath bright stains of red, hues of pink flushed their skin. Saeran woke up much later. How much later they couldn’t tell you. Had it been moments? Hours? Days? Weeks? They were dirty, confused, and just generally uncertain as to where they even were. Memories flashed through their mind, but it had to just be a really fucked up dream -- the blood, the trail of bodies. That wasn’t real.

And for a while, Saeran had let themselves believe that.

They’d made their way home, looking haggard as dyed locks clumped together and dirt and mud clung to their black attire. Eyes skirted over Saeran-- maybe they were just trying a whole gutter grunge aesthetic?

Upon arriving back in their apartment (their own keys and phone not being on their person leaving them to struggle to get the spare from the top of their door frame) They wondered if a fake rock would look strange beside their door, would it fool the other tenants? Though, Saeran didn’t doubt that the woman who lived across the hall would just invite herself in if the key were within her spindly reach. She always seemed to know when Saeran was low on food, though, and came bearing freshly cooked meals as if she’d prepared them specifically for the young adult across the hall. They couldn’t really find a complaint in having free food, but the prospect of having an older woman digging through their things and cleaning in their apartment as they’d found her doing not long after they’d moved in, made them a little anxious. Especially considering how messy they were.

The moment the door opened they were greeted with the agitated meows of their black cat who didn’t hesitate to loop herself around their ankles. Saeran knew right away that she was hungry, the sounds she made were indication enough, but when her teeth sunk into their ankle -- a bite that was much rougher than they were used to-- they jerked away and quickly went to the food bowl to take care of their pet.

It didn’t take them long to realize that they’d been gone for some time, the texts from Hoseok being excessive. The state their home was in after leaving a cat unattended. They had messaged their friend to come and care for the animal, a short apology following quickly behind in the message, but it’d never sent. Saeran guessed they were thankful for that.

Another failed attempt to add to their ever-growing emo jot list.

Their thumb trailed along a particularly thick scar on their inner wrist as this thought crossed.

A sigh.

As the weeks passed, Saeran began to fall back into their regular routine: they’d go to class first thing, they’d stop by Hoseok’s about halfway through their day to play games, and then they’d go home and try to work on their art commissions that had fallen behind while they were out doing… whatever.

It was worrying, though. Their body told them time and time again that they were hungry, and they’d order a pizza, maybe a veggie burger, and time and time again they’d find themselves gripping a toilet bowl later that night, the contents of their stomach splashed against the porcelain. This had gone on for two weeks, and it was making them anxious. What had they really been doing in all that time?

As they lay awake in bed at night (Their body far too jittery to sleep, and when they did manage to sleep it was so light that they never felt like they had actually slept) they would replay these dreams. The images always a dark red, always grotesque in nature, and always involving screams and death. And for some reason they always caused a sharp pang of hunger to lurch through their stomach.

Ir wasn’t until some days later when they’d found their teeth buried into the throat of a boy from one of their morning classes at the community college after having attended a special lecture that night, that they realized the truth behind these ‘dreams’.

They forced themselves away, but the damage had been done. As they rested on their knees on the cutting asphalt in the dark parking lot, the boy grew cold in their arms. Saeran, however, stayed frozen in their spot, the cover of a few parked cars hiding them and their crimes from any eyes that would have slid in their direction.

What were they doing?

What was wrong with them?

They’d killed someone.

The moment they felt circulation return to their body they clamoured up, allowing the body to rest between cars, and managed to get themselves into the nearby woods before collapsing to skinned knees and pressing fingers to the back of their throat, attempting to force the remnants of that boy-- Trey, his name had been Trey--- from their body. It was no use, though, as only blood darkened bile splashed against the dampened, dead leaves.

They found themselves shaking hard, nails raking through their hair as the realization set in and tears blinded them. Those too seemed to be red.

They had no idea how long they had been in those woods, face streaked a dark red from tears that came forward in crimson streams, mixing with their heavy liner. But as the sun rose above the trees, causing their skin to prickle and sting beneath rays that managed to skirt their skin, there was denying their truth.

They were not the person that they had been before they had jumped off that bridge.

Incidents like this continued to happen, though. They would fight urges, they would do everything within their power to keep this away from others. There was a constant nagging in their head, almost a voice, urging them to give in. To cave into the way that their body seemed to thrive off of stealing the life from those who lived while at only 20, they were a walking corpse Hoseok was avoided at all costs. Their classes were dropped. As the investigations ran cold, more bodies seemed to do the same in Saeran’s wake. No matter how hard they fought it, they found themselves pressing bodies to walls in allies under the pretense of a hookup, to bleed them dry and leave them where they fell. Honestly, the young vampire found themselves getting off just fine from their meals alone.

Maybe that was the draw, though. The euphoric feeling that washed over them, the moans that they would find themselves emitting as they fed, and the comedown that always, always felt way too good for them to quit it.

The human nature in them screamed, it cried, it begged them to stop every time they did this. It wasn’t right. It was murder, and they committed it repeatedly and without hesitation time and time again. Guilt would haunt them in the late hours of the night and they would find themselves laid in an empty bath, trembling, tears coming and staining the tile the same colour that they loathed but also desperately wanted. They would use the games that they used to casually play as an escape, often forgetting where they were for days on end as nothing seemed to matter more than the quests at hand. And then the cycle repeated.

The syndicate had become their home, however.

It wasn't hard for them to go through with the ‘initiation’ as they had perfected swift, merciless killings very early on in their time as a vampire. What else could they have been, after all? Killing someone came naturally, and the instant gratification that came with it made it all worth the effort.

Saeran had decided that they were a monster.

It wasn’t a difficult distinction for them. When they were alone in a room with Hoseok one night, piled under blankets because their skin never seemed to warm, downing sodas and playing games together, Saeran had become far to aware of the pulse that thrummed where their thighs touched.

Their eyes would scan his profile and they would find themselves increasingly interested in the artery that pulsed just beneath the skin on his throat, one that they had grown so accustomed to sinking sharpened fangs into. It had taken that moment alone for them to realize that they were not anything more than that. A monster who took life from others because they could never, truly, be alive again.

The day that Saeran found out that they had been discovered was long.

Likely one of the longest in days that seemed to span years in their generally sleepless exitance. They had reread the texts, exhaustion setting in as another week of downing coconut water to curb the desires the kill that they were so rife with. At least ten kills was the understatement of the century. Saeran had stopped counting. At one point they had even gone after a cat because humans were too difficult to come by.

They had read on some edgy tumblr blog for teens wanting to imitate vampires that there were a few drinks one could try that emulated the way that blood would curve along ones tongue as it filled their mouth. Chia seeds had been a mistake. Orange juice wasn’t close at all. The only thing that seemed to trick their senses really did seem to be this stupid water. they hadn’t even liked coconuts when they were alive. But, fully dressed they sat in their bath, sipping a mix of that and vodka out of a bottle, water filling the bath as they laid back, taking in the reality that they were living.

Saeran had never let themselves think about what they had done after the first time. They had never taken into account that they were human people after that. They couldn’t bring themselves to do it. At 21 they had killed enough people to feel entirely numb to the concept. Though they longed for it themselves, they could never seem to find it, but they brought it to others on a nearly nightly basis.

Then there were the times with him where it was an aphrodisiac of shorts. The first time they’d slept together had been prompted by the murder of an innocent person in the man's apartment, the blood hadn’t been a meal, but wasted as the two tumbled to the floor, blood having covered Saeran’s hands after they’d taken the persons life. They had slept together that night on that floor.

Saeran couldn’t seem to get that out of their head. Was that really what they were? Was that really them?

Was this name that was still freshly branded into their chest by a man who they had trusted really someone they had laid with so many times?

It all seemed so far away from them, so unreal. Like they had just read it in a book and the blurred lines of imagination only allowed fragmented pictures to appear in their mind, to dance behind their lids as texts from Titan were ignored. Their cellphone had tumbled to the floor as their fingers went lax, the tub filling slowly around their petite form. He had been the one to tell them what had been found. He had been the one to let them know that their name had been brought up. That their crimes and the admissions that they had blurted to Hoseok in a fit of text messaged verbal vomit were all known. That they weren’t safe in their own apartment.

As they became increasingly drowsy from a mixture of intoxication, starvation, and the warmth of their bath, the water finally rose over their features, submerging the vampire as they dozed.

There were a few moments of silence in the room, save for the constant pinging of the device that had taken residence on the floor and the faucet, before they took a breath.

In their stupor, they had not realized that the water had risen so high, so when they returned to their general state of being they found themselves taking in water, they could feel it filling lungs that had very little purpose in the chest of a preternatural being who only breathed out of habit. It felt as though they were being burned, much like the night that they had turned.

They shot up from their position, coughing heavily as they leaned over the side of the tub, water expelling passed pouty lips as they felt themselves still somehow drowning within their own body.

“Fuck,” Saeran mumbled, throat raw and voice like gravel when they did finally catch their breath. These realities had left them feeling sick to their stomach, and the recent incident with nearly drowning -- would that have killed them? They doubted it-- just frustrated them. They would need to leave, they knew.

They couldn’t just wait here for the heroes to find them.

They couldn’t run the risk of killing Salem out of hunger.

Salem had been cradled in their arms, fingers stroking over her ears affectionately as they made the choice to give her to Hoseok.

They had phrased it as cat sitting because somehow it even fooled Saeran for a moment into thinking that they would be able to come back to all of this-- to nights in next to their coconut headed best friend, veggie burgers and pizza, cuddling with their cat in their bed and having a single nights sleep that didn’t span days inside of a box that Maxxie of all people had given them. A despite their edgy appearance, Saeran didn’t enjoy sleeping in a casket. They didn’t enjoy the solitary nights. Salem couldn't sleep with them so they would need to make up for that by laying in bed with her after waking up. They missed normal things. They missed being alive. But Saeran Kim had never been one to think things through. They never considered anything.

Leaving his cat to Hoseok’s had been hard. They wanted to cry. They wanted to curl against their friend's chest and just let it out, but instead, they put on a brave face.

Saeran didn’t have a family. They didn’t have friends. They had Hoseok and Salem. And no matter what they chose in this instance they had to leave that.

Did they turn themselves in and hope that the league was merciful? That they were different than the Doves? Could they even trust that? Or did they hide in HQ and hope that they were safe?

Saeran admitted their guilt, god did they drown in it, but did it mean that they deserved to be locked away from everyone and everything?

They were dangerous.

They were unpredictable.

And despite it all, Saeran didn’t want to go.

They didn’t want to be held accountable, they didn’t want to pay for crimes that were committed in a fit of vampire desperation. They just wanted to sleep.

There wasn’t much that genuinely frightened someone who couldn’t die. At that point, death sounded so welcoming. But not being in control of the situation and not knowing? that was scary. That was terrifying.

#alright this is about to be a big wall of tw #but b4 that i wanna say that this is 3k words long so srry #c #selfpara;#tw:murder #tw: death #tw: vomit #tw: alcohol #tw: gore #tw: blood #tw: self harm #tw: suicide #tw: drowning #tw: violence #tw: mental illness

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themoonandotherslikeit · 5 years

Text

The Daughter of a Righteous Man - Chapter 5

*SEQUEL TO THE LOOK IN HER EYES*

After her husband is drug to Hell, Ava Winchester and her brother in law Sam try their best to do right by Dean and raise her daughter, only to find that good intentions aren’t always enough. Loving someone isnt always enough.

Chapter Five, Anything for You

Sam

"Dean...Dean!" Ava was crying out in her sleep again.

I got out of bed, and rushed to the living room. I hoped I'd wake her in time so she wouldn't wake up the baby.

"Hey, Ave." I said, crouching next to the couch. I gently shook her shoulders. "Hey, wake up. It's okay."

Nel was a month old, and we had finally settled into a routine at the house. I picked up work at a body shop, glad that Dean had taught me what he had about cars. Joey, the shop owner, saw the Impala and hired me on the spot. Ava was staying home with Nel, but eventually we hoped she could go to work in the Sherifs office in town.

"Sam?" She croaked as she opened her eyes. I wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"Yeah, hey."

"Hi." She sat up slowly, holding her head.

This happened every night. She would cry out his name in her sleep. Sometimes I could get her back to sleep, sometimes I couldn't. We recently purchased Netflix, and we'd been making our way through an impressive number of shows. She would wake up screaming, and we would play Friends and drink coffee. There wasn't a lot of sleeping with a newborn anyway, so we took what we could get.

This time was different. She was shaking everywhere, like she was cold and couldn't warm up. "Do you want to tell me about it?"

She shook her head. "I don't remember it."

She was lying to me. I knew that face at this point, but I didn't want to push. "Okay." I said quietly. I examined her eyes, searching for some kind of clue to what she needed.

"You can go back to sleep, I'm really o..okay."

I frowned and shook my head. "Only if you come with me." She looked startled, and I laughed quietly. "Not like that, Ave."

"Oh."

"I meant just... maybe we could both use the company."

She considered this for a moment before shrugging. "Okay, sure."

She swung her legs over the side of the couch, wrapping her blanket around her, and we made our way to my room. I laid on top of the covers and she laid next to me. We both faced each other. We laid in silence for what seemed like an endless amount of time in the darkness. Just when I thought she was asleep, she whispered into the darkness. "Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't think I will ever be okay again."

"You will be."

"How?"

"Time, Ave."

"But you've seen your Dad. It's been over twenty years, Sam, and he's still a mess." She whispered, her voice afraid.

"You are so much stronger than John Winchester." I laughed humorlessly.

"I don't know if I am." She admitted.

"You're wrong." I said, reaching out to touch her arm. I needed to feel that she was there. That she was listening to me. "Dean believed in you. He always told me you were the strongest person he'd ever met. I agree with him. You can get through this. We can."

Her hand covered mine, and I heard her suck in her breath. "When he would say that stuff to me I couldn't not believe him. He would look at me so intensely. He would get so serious that... well I knew he wasn't lying. He really believed it. He believed in me. I don't know what I did to deserve it."

I laughed again and shook my head. I was beginning to make out her shape in the darkness. I scooted a little closer so I could see her a little better. "You're a Winchester now, which basically means you won't believe it when people say you're amazing or special. Dean never did. I sure don't, but you. We always knew you were better than us. That we didn't deserve you. You're good, Ava. You have this way about you that makes people want to try harder. You made us want to be better."

"I don't think you two could be any better than you already are."

"I hope you're wrong about that."

"You're right. It must be a Winchester curse. Can't take a compliment."

"Welcome to the family." I laughed.

Ava leaned forward, grabbing my face in her hands. My heart sped up. It thumped in my chest. I wanted to ask her what she was doing, but I couldn't bring words to my mouth.

I could feel her breath on my face as she turned my head and placed a gentle kiss to my cheek. "Thank you." She breathed. "I'm feeling a lot better."

She moved her hands. Heat traveled up my face, the print she left on my cheek tingling. She rolled onto her back and let out a deep sigh. I reached my fingers up to my cheek to touch where she kissed.

Ava

"Why are we always in bed?" I asked Dean, as I stared at him. We were laying on our sides facing each other.

"Sex is your favorite memory of me."

"Oh, please." I rolled my eyes.

I was dreaming, I knew I was. He wasn't real, not any more. I reached forward and touched his cheek. The mind was a powerful thing. He felt real to me. I could feel the prickles from the hair growing in on his face. "You need to shave."

"You like it."

"I do. It goes with your whole, grungy 90's look."

He raised his eyebrows, looking offended. "I do not have a 90's look."

I laughed and shook my head. "Oh please. The flannel, the boots, the rocker t-shirts? Classic grunge."

"Would you rather me wear a polo?"

"I do like the suit." I teased him, letting my fingers slide under his shirt.

I worried eventually I wouldn't be able to conjure him in my mind like I could now. I worried I wouldn't be able to trace his stomach and his chest in my mind. Each scar raised on his skin. Would they disappear inside of my mind?

"I hate it"

"I know." I said pulling him closer to me. "I like the flannel."

"I can tell." He said, pulling at the one I was wearing.

"Sam gave it to me."

"You still haven't gone into our room?"

I shook my head. "I can't, Dean. I'm too scared. I won't be able to keep it together."

"Take your time, love."

I sighed.

Love. He wouldn't call me love.

"I wish you were real."

"I am real." He put his hand on my heart. "I'm real in you."

"That sounds sexual."

"It isn't sexual." He said before lowering his lips to my ear. "But it could be... if you wanted."

My heart raced. I did, but it wasn't real. It would never be real again. "I'm sorry." I whispered, pressing my forehead to his like I had a million times before.

"Don't be sorry, sweetheart." There we go. "Maybe it'll just make it worse."

"Maybe."

"Try to go into the room today?"

"I'll try." I breathed.

"Don't forget what I told you."

"What did you tell me?"

I jumped slightly, my eyes slowly fluttering open. I woke up too quickly, and I grabbed at the dream. He was there, in my mind, and I felt like I was losing him all over again. I rolled over, just to catch Sam an inch from my face.

I'd slept every night with him for the last week. I noticed I slept better when I wasn't sleeping alone. I only woke up screaming every other night. It was progress. Sam looked tired. He looked young. I smiled at the innocence he held when his expression was relaxed. I knew he spent a lot of time worrying about me. Maybe it was our friendship, or his promise to Dean. I didn't have a way to tell. But in reality, it didn't matter. We were all we had, so it had to be enough.

I slowly slid out of bed and snuck out of the room. I crept into the kitchen and dug the pancake mix out of the cabinet. Just add water. I wasn't much of a cook, but the boys always loved it. Considering they spent most of their lives without a kitchen, they were easily impressed.

I whisked the mix and poured some into a skillet. I hadn't been myself. I still wasn’t, but something had changed. I wasn't as much of an empty shell. I was trying.

Flip.

A soft cry came from the back room and I smiled. Sweet girl. I walked to the back room to grab her while the pancake settled on the pan. "Good morning." I said leaning over her crib.

She looked up at me with big blue-green eyes. Her bottom lip trembled. "Aw little one." I said, picking her up. "You're wet." I commented, feeling her diaper. I walked her to the changing table and laid her down. Six little snaps held her pajamas in place. I slid her legs and arms out and tickled her belly.

This seemed to make her more upset. She cried a little harder. Poor thing was tired, wet, and hungry. "Aww come on, Nellie. Smile for Mommy."

I peeled her diaper off of her, and wiped along every crevice with the baby wipe. Powder for her pink tush. Snap the diaper back in place.

"What do you want to wear?"

Her eyes were red as she sniffled. I pulled out a pair of black stretchy pants and a green sweater and slid them on her little limbs. Fuzzy socks to match. Her eyes looked even greener with the sweater on. She looked like her dad.

"Hey." Sam said rubbing his eyes. He leaned against the door frame.

"I tried to let you sleep." I sighed picking Nel back up. "I'm sorry."

"It's Fine." He yawned. "I usually wake up early I guess I just needed a little extra sleep."

"I wanted to make you breakfast... shit!" I said, running back into the kitchen. I tried to hold Nel in one arm and move the burning pancake away from the stove. It was smoking but not enough to set off any alarms.

"Ow, fuck!" I shouted, causing Nel to cry. My hand stung from the burn. The handle of the skillet was too close to the fire from the stove. Grabbing it singed my flesh.

"Hey, I've got you." Sam said, taking Eleanor from my hands. He put a pacifier in her mouth, and laid her in the swing. He came back to me and took out burn cream from the cabinet. He lead me to the counter. "Let me see." He said, looking at my palm.

I winced as my hand flattened, palm up.

"It doesn't look too deep." I applied the burn cream, making my fingers twitch from the sting. "You have to be careful, Ava."

"I know." I sighed.

"What were you doing?"

"I was trying to surprise you with breakfast." I met his eyes. "That's the least I can do for all that you've done for me. For us."

Sam wrapped a bandage around my wound and took my hand in his. "You don't owe me anything, Ava."

"I owe you my life. If you weren't here I don't know where I would've ended up." I admitted.

I turned to see Eleanor content, staring at the mobile above her swing. "I mean look at her. You hold her for a second and calm her down. She loves you."

He stroked the skin on my wrist, right above my burn. "I love her too. She is my family, you both are."

Family. The ultimate compliment from a Winchester brother. Dean had said it countless times to me. "We are one weird little family." I met his eyes with a smile.

He smiled back and squeezed my wrist gently. "Yeah." He agreed.

"I'm sorry I burned breakfast."

"I forgive you."

Nel plopped the pacifier out of her mouth and let out a whimper. "Sounds like we are all hungry." I let out a dry laugh.

"Feed her." Sam said, letting go of my wrist. "I'll make the pancakes."

"Okay." I said, still feeling tingles where his hand left my wrist. I picked up my daughter and settled into the rocking chair. I slowly let my breast out and guided her lips to my nipple. They were swollen and sore. She began to suckle and I exhaled in relief. It was still a weird, alien experience, but also beautiful. I loved the connection it gave me to her. It was indescribable.

"You know," I gasped. "You won't be able to do this forever."

Dean held my breast in his hand, he looked up at me, releasing my nipple from his lips. "Who says?"

"Eventually I'll have milk in them." I said, breathlessly. They were already really sensitive, so his lips leaving kisses were making my head spin. "Do you want to have breastmilk in your mouth?”

He raised an eyebrow. "Not exactly, but I don't know if I can stop now that I've started." He left another kiss next to my nipple.

I smiled widely. "Well I guess we will see."

There was something unspoken between us. He didn't think he would have to worry about that. He wouldn't be here. I hoped otherwise.

"You have the most perfect breasts." He lifted it a bit in his hand, feeling the weight. "Every time I think they can't get any better, they do."

I rolled my eyes. "Well I'm glad you're enjoying my pregnancy body."

"I am." He said closing his eyes. He ran his tongue along my nipple causing chills to run along my skin. "I love it."

I glanced up from Eleanor to Sam flipping pancakes in the kitchen, he glanced at me, catching me looking at him. He quickly averted his eyes. He was getting more comfortable with me feeding her around him. We were getting more comfortable around each other. He was my friend. He was my family. He was the brother of my husband. But yet, in everything he gave me peace. His smile was becoming calming, and I couldn't help but relax under his touch. He wasn't Dean, but he held a piece of Dean within him. He was raised by him, after all.

"Hope you're hungry." Sam said sweetly.

I moved Nel to my other breast, to keep their fullness even. She looked tired, and I knew at any moment she would be passed out in a milk coma. I recognized the face as Deans when he had too many beers. Half open green eyes, slack jaw. I smiled and ran my fingers along her puffy cheeks.

"I am, but I think little Nel has a bit to go."

"Here." Sam said, walking to me. He held a plate in his hand. He cut a piece of pancake, dipped it in syrup, and offered the bite to me.

I smiled and opened my mouth, welcoming the sweet taste. Our eyes locked. "Thank you, Sam."

"Anything for you, Ave."

—————

Chapter Six, When Time Stood Still

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athousandfootsteps · 5 years

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8th June 2019

On Thursday we drove from San Francisco to Shaver Lake, which is part of the Sierra National Forest. We thought that it was part of Yosemite, but apparently it is not, which was a little disappointing, but it was still beautiful and I wanted to make the most of the little time that we had there.

First we got an overpriced lunch, I got a lettuce wrap sandwich with two slices of lettuce, some onions and capsicum and they charged $8.95usd, which I think is a rip off but that’s what happens when you have a restrictive diet and are in the mountains. The day prior in Berkeley, we stopped at Saturn Earth Cafe and I ordered a peanut satay dish and it was one of the best vegan meals I’ve ever eaten, and the portion size was massive! It reminded me a lot of Veggie Bar in Melbourne, I loved it.

First we went on a walk to Shaver Lake which didn’t take too long and was really pretty at the lake. Then we decided to drive further down the road to get to Rancheria Falls. It was further than we thought but we eventually found it and it was a 2 mile hike to the waterfall. It was a bit tough because it was a constant up hill and some of it was trekking over slippery melting snow with big drops if we slipped which was scary. But eventually we made it to the waterfall and the sheer force of it was breathtaking. We got as close to it as possible and the waterfall was spraying water at us. We got a few photos and then turned back, the walk back was much easier.

Then we slept in a teepee that night, which was a fun experience, it was a little cold but definitely a fun experience. :)

We woke up early on Friday to drive back to San Francisco airport, drop the car off and catch our plane. We left just before 6am and drove to the airport and made it through with just enough time to not have to stress too much. After we checked our bags, we had about an hour to go through TSA security and then wait at the gate. We boarded in one of the last groups and then boarded. We had a young man sitting next to us. The flight was a bit scary because firstly a man a few rows ahead of us got up and went to the toilets as the plane was taxiing to the runway and did not get back to his seat as we were taking off and did not return until well after take off. Then people were getting up and moving around before the seat belt sign was even turned off.

The flight was a little turbulent but not too bad but the flight attendants did not even do a safety check as we were coming in to land because they said it was too bumpy. They served drinks during turbulence and it was not even turbulent when they said it was too unsafe for them to come through the aisle. So that was a downside. I am flying Delta 6 more times during my trip in America, so hopefully next time I like it better.

We made it to Seattle a little bit early and then we picked up our hire car, a Jeep Cheroke, which made us feel like travelling in luxury. We dropped our bags at our accommodation in Shoreline called North Seattle Guesthouse, then we ate Chipotle for the first time. I loved it and I definitely see myself eating Chipotle a lot more on my trip!! It’s a lot like Guzman y Gomez.

Then Mum and I went grocery shopping at a Walmart Neighbourhood Market and then cooked at the accommodation while talking to an elderly couple from Minnesota.

Today we left at about 10am after breakfast to do our Kurt Cobain tour. First we stopped at his house on East Lake Washington Boulevard, the house his body was found it. It was a little emotional being there, and it is hard to believe it happened 25 years ago... I wasn’t even born then. I wrote my name on one of the chairs at Viretta Park, took some pictures and then we went back to the car.

Then we drove out to Montesano, saw the house where Kurt lived with his father from 1978 to 1982. But the area looked dodgy and rundown and I was nervous about the kind of people around so I just took a quick picture and then we left.

Then we drove to Aberdeen, 15 minutes down the road. We pulled off at the Welcome to Aberdeen - Come As You Are sign. I have wanted to see this sign and have my picture with this sign for the longest time so it was amazing to finally see it in real life. Aberdeen, much like Montesano, looked low income and dodgy, so I was a bit nervous. We saw Kurt’s childhood home 1210 East 1st Street, which was a tiny house on the corner and then we found Kurt Cobain Landing, which is a memorial park where he used to hang out under the Young Street bridge. There was a weird guy fishing under the bridge, so I was a bit nervous, but he soon left, but still I didn’t want to hang around for too long. I got some pictures of the park and the bridge and then we left. We went to Walmart to go to the toilet, ate lunch and then stopped at 7/11 before driving back to Seattle.

When we got back, we did our laundry and rebooked our Chicago accommodation before going back to our guesthouse and eating.

Although it was a little nervewracking being in these small country towns that we didn’t really know anything about as an outsider in dodgy areas, but it was interesting to learn and see how Kurt grew up and the areas he grew up and hanged out in. Seeing the Wishkah river and the bridge really brought a lot of things together and I felt re-connected to Nirvana.

Tomorrow we are going into Seattle, seeing some grunge locations and I want to go on the Space Needle and then the next day we fly to Chicago.

#seattle #san francisco #kurt cobain #nirvana #aberdeen #usa #travel #grunge #music

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djinmer4 · 6 years

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Amalgam Dream

Kitty wakes up slowly, drifting up to consciousness. She can’t remember where she is or how she got here, but she’s lying on a bed, warm, sleepy and a little sore. A familiar soreness. There’s a moment’s panic before she remembers that it’s been years since Department K. Wherever she is probably safer than that.

She keeps her breathing slow, her muscles loose and her eyes shut while she reorients. What had happened last night? That’s right, Galactus. As Colombina, she had met many of the major figures of the world’s underbelly. From Green Skull to Dr. von Doom, to her own patron, the Hyena. Kitty had thought nothing could frighten her more than they had. She’d been wrong. Galactus had been an entirely different level. The people she had met before had devastated lives, cities, and countries. Galactus had been a planetary threat, so large that nothing she could do even mattered. She couldn’t fight against him, talk him down or even run away. It had been a humiliating experience.

The threat was gone and the world was saved, and Colombina had just wanted to go home and forget everything. She remembered meeting up with the Nightcreeper while the other Misfits were still filling out their reports, and he had eventually convinced her to go home to New Gotham with him. They’d been sort-of dating for a while and she needed a good laugh to feel alive again. So she’d agreed and they’d wandered around the city for a while. Somehow they’d ended up in his apartment (surprisingly expensive for a maniac Gothamite) and then . . .

Kitty scrunched up her face in worry. It’s not that she objected to sleeping with the Nightcreeper (and he’d been remarkably good too), but she was pretty sure he was only romancing her as a lark. She didn’t even know what his civilian identity was. This was going to put quite a damper on their relationship.

“Buck up, Kitty.” she whispered to herself. “You’re going to have to open your eyes to leave anyhow. You can deal with whatever revelations come from this. You’ve been through worse. Besides, you’ll probably never see him in his civilian identity again.” She shifted back to get a little room for herself and felt the arm around her waist tighten and pull her closer. The Nightcreeper, or whoever he was right now, gave a small snore. He was still asleep, maybe if she was quiet enough she could sneak out and put off this confrontation till later. Maybe if she was really lucky he’d just think it was all a dream and they could continue on as if nothing had changed.

She opened her eyes and saw . . . well, it was a very well built chest. No surprise, given how ‘Creeper went around wearing next to nothing. Pale, Caucasian pink, not green and furry, but she could see one of the patches that Dark Claw always made for the guy slapped haphazardly on a muscular bicep. This guy must have put it on after she had passed out. Moving her gaze up, she saw athletic shoulders, a prominent Adam’s apple and finally reached the man’s face. A very familiar face.

Oh hell, this was Kurt Ryder.

Well, that tore it, now she knew her relationship would never go anywhere. Kurt had never expressed any interest in her beyond that of a close friend. Nightcreeper really was just dating her on a whim or maybe out of pity, she couldn’t decide which was worse. And it’s not like she could just avoid him, he was Logan’s best friend. They see each other all the time.

Kitty started to phase out, too upset to even think of staying. Unfortunately, that woke up her bedmate, causing her to panic again and freeze in place. Sleepy blue eyes opened up and focused on her face. “Ah, Katzchen,” for a second Kurt appeared not to know what had happened and smiled at her. Kitty felt her heartbeat flutter in a familiar fashion and inwardly cursed herself. Then he looked around and the smile fell off his face as he realized what had occurred the previous night.

“Well, this is awkward.” He sat up in bed, unashamed of his nudity. “Would you like to take a shower first or shall I?”

She needed to find her clothes first; everything they had been wearing last night was scattered all over the place. “You can go first.”

“You know, if Remi Cord ever finds out about this, he’ll be so mad. Although it makes your continued insistence that Nightcreeper isn’t real quite comedically funny.”

“What better way to throw off suspicion? Besides, Remington Cord has several reasons to hate me by now.”

By the time she had made it to the kitchen, Kurt had had enough time to go out and buy some breakfast for them from the nearby 24-hour diner. “I would have cooked,” he apologized. “but . . . “

“I like living, thank you.” Kitty had wanted to get out as fast as possible, but fate seemed to have different plans. First, her idea of a quick rinse was defeated by the sheer grunge from yesterday’s fight. She’d ended up taking a full shower, having to use Ryder’s soap and shampoo. Then she found her clothes were in tatters. They’d been torn up in yesterday’s battle but Nightcreeper had ripped them completely to shreds at the start of the night. Only her belt, tights and boots were intact. She’d ended up grabbing one of his button up shirts to wear; the thing was so huge on her it could have been a dress. When she’d walked in the expression on his face had changed to something warm, almost coveteous but she wasn’t sure what it meant.

Kitty sat down. She really didn’t want to do this but better than letting it fester. “I don’t suppose we used protection, did we?”

Kurt coughed. “I’m afraid not. Anything we need to be concerned about?”

“I haven’t done anything since the Hyena recruited me from Department K. All my tests have been negative since then.”

He nodded. “My last test was six months ago and it was clean, and my last one night stand was before that. So at least that’s one thing out of the way. So about . . . “

“I’ll have Dr. Thompson issue me a day-after pill on Monday. So you don’t have to worry about that.”

A pregnant pause filled the air. Kitty couldn’t look him in the eye. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep away from Nightcreeper in the future.”

“Was?”

“It’s one thing for people to talk about the Hyena’s whore and the maniac from New Gotham being a couple. It’s an entirely different thing when it’s the Hyena’s whore and the famous Kurt Ryder. I hadn’t realized you had so much to lose.”

“I didn’t think you disdained my company so much.”

“I don’t. But there’s no reason you should risk your reputation on your counterpart’s prank.”

“Why would you think our dating was a joke?”

“Why wouldn’t I? It’s not like you’re actually attracted to me. Unless you're claiming that the Nightcreeper is a separate personality to you and that’s not how Logan explained it to me.”

“Less a separate personality, more like me without my inhibitions.”

“Well inhibitions or not, I know I’m not your type. I’m nothing like Kokoro.”

“Which is a good thing. Besides, do you really think I would have slept with you, either as Kurt or as Nightcreeper, if I wasn’t attracted to you?”

She shook her head. Kurt dragged his chair over so that he could sit next to the young girl. “Logan is going to laugh so hard at me. I’ve been trying to work up the courage to ask you out as myself for over a year, and now this happens.”

That startled Kitty. “Really?”

“I’ve been fond of you since the beginning. But for the past two years, I’ve thought about becoming more than friends. I’ve only been able to act on it as Nightcreeper though. And I’ve never seen any sign that you were interested in me as Kurt.”

“Of course I was interested. But celebrities don’t date pathetic hench-wenches who are still trying to earn everyone’s trust.”

“Celebrities are human and can’t help who they fall in love with either.” He took her hands. “Would you really consider dating me if I asked?”

She finally met his eyes and smiled. “Yes.”

The expression she got in return was full of relief and something else. To her surprise, he leaned forward and kissed. A little fast, but she kissed him back. Kurt pulled her into his lap and deepened the kiss. They parted for breath, but he just used the opportunity to move down her neck and start sucking on her pulse point.

Kitty was so distracted she hadn’t even realized they’d moved until she heard the squeak of his bedroom door opening. She was surprised to realize that he had picked her up and carried her in one arm back to the bedroom. “I always thought those mutagens had given you a boost in strength, but that’s not true is it?”

“They did, but not as much as people think.”

He carefully placed her on the bed, then crawled over to continue kissing her. Kitty recalled the same thing happening last evening, with the Nightcreeper looming over her before tearing at her suit. Kurt did the same thing, pulling away just long enough so that he could grab the collar of the shirt she was wearing and tear it open. “Your shirt,” she tried to remind him.

“I have others.” He slid his hands up from her waist to cup her breasts. It was pretty clear where he intended this to go.

“Uh, not that this-” she gasped as Kurt began to toy with her nipples. “Isn’t great, but aren’t you moving a little fast?”

“You said you’d be willing to date me. I want to give you a reason not to regret that decision.” He paused then deliberately thrust against her. In spite of herself, Kitty threw her head back and moaned, arching into him. “Several reasons.”

#i'll tag later

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floatingpetals · 7 years

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Ragdoll || Shifter Series

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: None? Fluff

Word Count: 1200+

Request: “can you do a one-shot where the reader is a new member of the avengers and can turn into animals then Bucky finds her in the cat form sleeping on the couch before Cap and Tony apresents her and plays with her, kisses her, etc., but then she turns back to her real form completely naked? (sorry for my english, its not my main language)”-anon

A/N: First, your English was excellent! Second I loved this prompt. So much. I didn’t go with the usual black cat or tabby with this either. Because besides Scottish folds, I love Ragdolls. I haven’t personally met one that’s mean, all the ones I have met are incredibly affectionate. So for this I kind of wanted to add the characteristic to the reader. Also, I picked purple for the eyes because it adds a sense of oddity to the reader shifted form, since purple isn’t very common in eyes. The readers real eyes can be whatever you want. I hope you like this part!!

The gifs are not mine, credit to the wonderful owner!

Ragdoll | Duckling | Series Masterlist

Bucky sighed as his eyes slid close, collapsing on the couch in the living room. He let out a strangled tired groan when he nestled back into the cushion and threw his legs up on the coffee table with a clang. It had been the first time in over 72 hours that he was able to relax and literally put his feet up. A quick one-day mission turned into a long three-day stakeout. All he wanted to do was go to his room, shower, and pass out. But Steve got to him first, told Bucky to meet him in the living room. Something about needing to tell him something. Bucky didn’t know, he was still a bit fuzzy from exhaustion but stumbled his way into the room. He was so focused on collapsing on the couch, he completely missed the small bundle of fur that was curled up on the opposite side against the pillows.

The sudden dip in the couch caused the creature to jump, bright purple eyes snapping open to whip around to find the intrusion. Uncurling from it’s ball, the creature stretched out, kneading it’s paws into the cushion while letting out a toothy yawn. A silver and grey ragdoll sat, watching the strange new human with a calculative look and a flick of it’s fluffy tail. The fatigue on the man was glaringly obvious. He was practically limp in his seat, all his weight sprawled out on the couch. Something must have happened to him. Around his eyes, the cat noticed the dark circles and faint stress lines etched into his face. Giving him a slow blink, the cat crossed the distance between them, it’s curiosity peaked.

Bucky hadn’t noticed the eyes on him, his mind seconds away from shutting down but he did notice the soft brush of fur against his right arm and lightweight that settled on his thigh. His eyes snapped open, turning to the sudden touch. He froze staring straight into the brilliant purple that almost appeared a touch worried. It blinked slowly, almost as if it understood his fatigue.

“When the hell did we get a cat?” He whispered, still not believing the fluffy regal animal perched at his side was there. The cat let out a soft chirp as it gracefully climbed on to his lap. “Wait, hold on.”

The cat ignored him, using his shoulders as a way to stand on its hind legs to be eye level with him. The cat chirped softly again before leaning in to gently headbutt his chin. Bucky stilled, stunned as the cat rubbed with a loud purr. He raised a hand, hesitating as he considered his options. He could push the cat away and go find Steve. Or maybe this was what it was he wanted to tell him. Wanda had mentioned she wouldn’t mind a pet around the tower. But Tony always nixed that idea. Something about the fur on his couches.

Torn, Bucky settled for simply returning the cat's affections with a few awkward pats on its head. The cat didn’t seem to care from the noise of content, turning around to rub it’s head against his palm. He thought that was the extent of things, until the cat turned to his left side, eyeing the hand that laid limply by his side with a narrow gaze. It didn’t seem to appreciate it’s lack of participation one bit. It pushed off his shoulders and hopped across his lap to butt it’s head against the metal.

“Hey, no wait.” The cat cut his protests off with a loud indignant yowl before rubbing against his metal fingers again. Sighing, Bucky gave in with slight hesitation. He didn’t want to hurt the small animal, but it didn’t seem to care the touch was colder, inhuman compared to the rest of him. It just purred louder when he curled his metal fingers to scratch behind it’s ears. Bucky felt his heart melt at the soft mewl the cat gave, and how it leaned into his touch. A weight lifted off his chest, all the stress from the past week leaving him as a soothing calm settled in it’s place. His other hand reached to stroke along its back, and the cat preened under the attention.

Giving in, Bucky scooped the cat up and hugged it to his chest. The cat made a soft noise of protest but instantly relaxed with its head cradled under his head while Bucky scratched at its chin. A smile spread on his face, a bubble of happiness growing in his chest. He didn’t know where the cat came from nor did he care.

“I have no idea what your name is, but I think I love you.” He cooed, brushing his lips against the cat's forehead. The cat meowed in response, snuggling further into his chest. Bucky sighed and relaxed back into the cushion, the cat still securely in his grip. He fell asleep with the cat curled up on his chest, the gently purr lulling him to deep restful sleep. A soft shake woke him up.

“Hey, Buck. You up?” Steve’s voice cut into his sleep, slowly bring him back to the present. Bucky blinked up, bleary-eyed at Steve sitting on the coffee table, who had a strange look in baby blue eyes.

“Hey, Steve. Sorry, what?” Bucky moved to sit up, but a heavier weight than a cat was tucked up into his side causing him to stop. He slowly turned to his left, gasping when seeing the small woman that was curled up gripping his left arm. A blanket was wrapped around her body, her shoulders rising with each breath. “Who-?”

“I see you’ve already met our newest recruit.” Steve snickered, keeping his voice low for the slumbering woman. Bucky, however, was a blushing, bewildered mess.

“Wait. But who- What? I don’t-.” He fumbled, too shocked, and exhausted to find coherent words. Steve chuckled, shaking his head at the sight of his best friend.

“She’s a shifter, Buck. Let me guess, you met her as something else. An animal perhaps?”

“Cat,” Bucky responded, attempting to lift his arm away. The woman made a noise of protest and curled around his arm tighter with what would have been a bruising grip.

“Yep. Ragdoll, right? That’s one of her favorites. I will admit. This is the first time I’ve seen her warm up to someone so fast. Normally she’s a bit standoffish with strangers.” Steve smirked and raised a brow at Bucky. “What you do pal?”

“N-Nothing!” Bucky squeaked. “She was a cat, and she climbed in my lap and I- Oh god. She rubbed herself all over me. And I helped!”

Steve threw his head back, forgetting she was sleeping as he laughed loudly. Bucky shushed him, glaring up at Steve as his head swiveled back to the woman. Surprisingly, the woman didn’t wake, not even twitch.

“Yeah, she does that. Kind of loses it to the animal instinct a bit.” Steve stood with a shrug, still smirking at his friend's predicament. “Well, I have a few other things I need to take care of, and you two seem quite cozy right now. I’m gonna head out."

“Wait! Steve!” Bucky whispered harshly, the tight grip on his arm keeping him from chasing after. “Get back here you punk!”

“You seem to be handling it, pal.” Steve threw over his shoulder. He paused at the door, a sly grin spreading across his face. “Oh and one more fun fact. Whenever shifters change, they can’t shift with their clothes on. So yeah, she’s naked under there. And she has zero shame about it. Have fun!”

Steve walked out with a snicker at the sight of red that covered Bucky’s face. Bucky was already plotting his revenge as he turned his attention back to the smaller woman beside him. A thousand ideas were running through his brain, but none of them helpful for an escape. He tried to shake her awake, but she slept like the dead. Nothing seemed to help loosen her grip either. She would just grip tighter, mumbling in her sleep with a frown tugging on her lips. Giving up, Bucky knew he wasn’t going to get anywhere anytime soon. All he could do was wait until she woke up.

Crap.

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phoenixplume117 · 4 years

Text

A funny Thing Happened At School Today - (A Nana FanFiction)

"Mummy!" came an excited 8 year old voice from the shoe room, "Mummy! Mummy!" the pitter patter of his feet heralded his arrival as his voice came closer through the hall and down the five steps into the sunken sitting room to where his mother sat giving him a sideways look through narrowed extraordinarily long lashed eyes. "Mu- Uh, er Ka-san!"

Nana brightened as if it were the first thing he had said, "Yes, my adorable little boy," she replied in Japanese, stood up, and took his sachel and uniform jacket from his shoulders before they ended up on the floor in his excitement."

"Ka- san! Stop! I have to tell you!"

Nana was hanging the things in the closet after going through the bag, "I'm listening, I can do both."

"There's a boy in my class from Japan!"

[[More]]

Nana turned around, "Oh, really?"

"He's from Tokyo!"

"Well, that's a very big place."

"Have you ever been to Tokyo?"

Nana sighed, "A long time ago. Go wash, afternoon tea is ready then you have your school work."

He grumbled but went off to do as he was told then yelled from the bathroom, "He has Oto-san's name."

Nana wasn't surprised, plenty of kids probably had names from Trapnest. She pulled out his papers from his school bag and placed them on the table next to the food she'd prepared. When he came out and saw his schoolwork lined up he frowned then brightened, "I don't think 'To-san would make me do all this school work."

Nana tapped the bowl of soup, "Eat, then work. You're wrong, he would have loved a nerd for a son, make Oto-san proud."

His face scrunched up, "Not miso and onigiri again?"

Nana stood up to get him some milk and tea for herself, "You do a lot of complaining for such a small human."

He smiled naughtily at her, "If I eat the miso and onigiri can I watch telly before school work?"

Nana snorted, "No, after eating you will do your work and after that you will help clean and after that you can watch telly if you like," she said emphasising the word telly to show her distaste for the English slang.

He grumbled.

"Besides, how can you not like onigiri when you told me you want me to call you," she snorted with laughter, "Sushi."

Her son looked offended, "What? It's cool!"

Nana nodded her head keeping a serious face, "Yes, I'm sure it is, I'll just call you Tokujo."

"Huh?"

Nana shook her head, "It's high quality sushi, just stick with Yasushi, and stop using stupid names."

"You said we're not supposed to say stupid," Yasushi argued.

Nana nodded, "Yes sir, I'm sorry, Tokujo, but you have no choice now but to love onigiri since you're both primarily rice. Now eat!" As if she hadn't figured out he was trying to get out of doing his school work by putting off eating with his arguing.

He slurped his soup and nibbled at his rice balls. "Ren's Mummy lives in Japan, still."

Nana sipped her tea, "Oh, and does 'Ren's Mummy' know Ren calls her 'Mummy'?"

Yasushi shrugged and hummed his 'I don't know' since his mouth was full.

She looked at him and rolled her eyes drinking her tea reminding herself to let him be a child and stop correcting him all the time.

She never wanted children, never and with Yasushi aside she really didn't want them still. But she loved him and wouldn't let anyone take him from her. But if she was honest guilt and the law were the only reasons why she had kept him when she found out she was pregnant. She probably would have been able to get around the law but not the guilt. Ren had wanted children and she couldn't shake the feeling he had something to do with her pregnancy other than the obvious impregnation. There was only a 9% chance of getting pregnant but she always thought that number was for careless people. She had always been careful, she knew which medications would lower the effectiveness and avoided them. She had always taken her pill at the same time, except… that one time. But there she was one day in a Tokyo doctor's office in 2003 hearing the words, "you're pregnant."

After she found out she was pregnant she packed up only her most precious belongings and went to the airport buying a ticket to the next English speaking country since English was the only other language she knew. The next flight was a British Airways Boeing to Heathrow leaving 25 minutes after she got there. Three hours after finding out she was pregnant she was flying over Narita on her way to London.

Pulled from her memories, Nana looked at her son with his hair that looked like he had stood in front of a plane engine, she smiled. He was plenty of stress but he was definitely Ren's most precious gift, the thing and person she loved most in her life. She still couldn't believe it. But ever since late the night he was born, in her hospital room, when all was quiet after the nurses had left he woke and stirred. She had pulled his bassinet over to her but he whined until she held him, the nurse showed her how to feed him but he wasn't hungry, he just wanted her to hold him. That night she fell in love with him, he'd slept in her arms and in the morning she woke surprised she had fallen asleep with his warm body on her chest. She knew Ren wanted a child so she'd kept him and he'd filled the empty places in her soul, not the place Ren had left but the ones she had thought made her broken.

One day in their little flat, she'd found herself singing something she hadn't done since… before. But she sang children's songs, then folk songs. She'd never gotten back to punk or even grunge or alternative rock but just singing was a feat in itself. But only for him, originally. Then when it had been hard to find work she knew she had a skill that could make money so she had become a lounge singer. She began singing songs in English, usually ballads,

"Can Ren come over?"

"Does Ren speak Japanese?"

Yasushi looked like he didn't know, and shrugged, "Probably."

"Only if you speak Japanese when he's here. You're not speaking enough Japanese and I don't want you to forget how to speak it."

He grumbled.

She took a sip of tea and stood up to put the cup away, "What's Ren's family name?"

"Ichinose."

The teacup slid from numb fingers to shatter on impact when it hit the floor.

#nana #ai yazawa #nana osaki #ren honjo #birth control #japan #running away #future nana #London Nana #Nana Ren #Nana and Ren's Child #Nana Found

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zykaben · 7 years

Text

Snapdragons and Demons: Chapter 3

Title: Snapdragons and Demons Fandom: Dream Daddy Rating: Teen Pairing: None yet Warnings: Cursing Word Count: 2948 Chapter Summary: The Christiansens are having a cookout and everyone in the cul-de-sac is invited! Whether they want to be or not. A/N: @radio-silents, here’s the third chapter! Happy reading!

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

Robert did not stop cryptid hunting.

Damien couldn’t help but to wonder if his neighbor had a death wish, simply didn’t care, or believed that he would be able to handle all manner of magical entities that crossed paths with him.

No matter how he looked at it, Robert was being incredibly foolish.

Damien didn’t know Robert well enough to judge whether or not this was the man’s typical behavior—they were neighbors who had held a conversation for less than five minutes. Mary had had told Damien that she and Robert were drinking buddies; friends, even. Mary obviously knew Robert better than Damien did, so he should just take her word for it and leave the man alone to whatever it was he got up to.

Damien never was particularly good at playing the role of the bystander.

Still, there was nothing that Damien could truly do except to use his magic to search for the auras of other magical creatures. If anything came back too strong or too hostile, Damien would simply have to step in before Robert could get himself hurt.

… he hoped that would be enough.

For now, though, he couldn’t spend too much time worrying over it. Mary would be coming over soon and Damien didn’t need nor desire to cause her unnecessary anxiety. He was simply apprehensive over Robert’s wellbeing but Mary was quite secure in her belief of it. No reason for Mary to be worried over Damien’s concerns.

The doorbell rang.

“Mary!” Damien opened the door with a grin. “Please, come in. I’m delighted to have you over.”

“Always so formal,” Mary said it lieu of greeting him. “One might think that you weren’t from this time era.”

“Hm, wherever would they get that idea?” Damien replied, shutting the door. Mary’s sort of humor wasn’t of a brand that he had met before. It was sarcasm spoken as if it were not and attempts to mislead using rather ridiculous statements. It had taken some getting used to, but Damien couldn’t imagine his life without it now.

The Victorians’ humor hadn’t been something he’d had much time to observe and see, considering he had delegated tasks and missions and those who had summoned him rarely made any form of small talk with him, let alone attempt to amuse him. Demons… they had a sense of humor that Damien could only describe as nonsensically crude, sadistically cruel, and ludicrously gory.

… he rather liked to avoid it if he could.

“So,” Mary said as she liberated a bottle of wine from his cupboard and began pouring herself a glass. She only stopped once the crimson liquid had all but reached the rim of the glass and then took a long sip.

“Would you care to finish that thought?” Damien asked.

“So it’s been two weeks. How are you settling in?”

Damien couldn’t help the warm, soft smile that tugged at his lips. “I love it here. It’s brilliant. The people are wonderful and the neighborhood is magnificent and… I can’t possibly imagine any other place I would rather spend my time in.”

Mary raised an eyebrow. “Great people, huh? Dames, you haven’t talked with anyone except for me and Joseph.”

“That is wholly untrue. I spoke with Robert and Hugo.”

“Dames, I introduced you to Hugo and you two exchanged five sentences max. And as far as I know, you and Robert have had exactly one conversation. You haven’t interacted with either of them outside of that.”

Damien wisely chose not to mention the fact that he had been keeping a watch over Robert since he had spoken with the man. “They both seem pleasant enough. Besides, you and Joseph are wonderful. Who else could I possibly need?”

Mary shook her head. “Nope. I’m not letting you become a hermit. You’re living life as a human now so that means you have to socialize like one. You’re meeting everyone else in the cul-de-sac.”

“Am I now?”

“Yup. Me and Joseph are having a barbecue. Everyone is invited. You’re coming.”

“Ah.” Well, Damien couldn’t say that he wasn’t excited at the prospect of meeting others who lived so close to him. However, he hadn’t quite perfected the… human interaction part of being a human.

“I’ll be at your side for every single second,” Mary said. “I know you’re worried about being awkward and not getting stuff right, but you’ll be fine. If anyone is a dick I’ll beat their ass.”

Damien felt a chuckle slip out. “I am most gleeful to know that a valiant lady such as yourself will be defending my honor from any slights imposed upon it.”

Mary downed the rest of the wine and went to pour herself another glass. “Yeah, yeah. No need to use all those big words. You know that my tiny mortal mind can’t keep up with that shit.”

“When will the… barbecue be?”

Mary looked up and made eye contact with Damien. “Holy fuck you don’t know what a barbecue is.”

“Oh no, believe you me, I do know. I’ve simply never used the term before.”

“What a fucking nerd.” Mary placed the bottle down. “It’s on Saturday at two in the afternoon. Sound good?”

“I highly doubt that I have much choice in the matter.”

“Right you are, my friend.”

Robert didn’t want to go to Wonder Bread’s barbeque. He really, truly didn’t. He had better things to do with his time. Like… taking shots of whiskey or playing with his totally ferocious and dangerous dog, Betsy, or whittling or literally anything else.

The only problem was that Mary had more or less told him if he didn’t go that there would be consequences. Robert had little to no idea what that would entail, but he did know that once of the basic Rules of Survival was Don’t Fuck with Mary Christiansen so dammit if he wasn’t going to get his ass in gear and go to Fuckboy McGee’s cookout.

At the very worst he’d just stand in the corner, devour as many burgers as he could stomach, then grab as many as he could inconspicuously carry back to his house so he could just pop them in the microwave for dinner later in the week. Solid plan.

For these reasons alone, Robert found himself blinking against sunlight that streamed through the windows, chipper alarm beeping and chirping and doing the rude thing where it woke him up. He fumbled for his phone and hit the snooze button. He checked the time. A minute past noon. Huh. He must have slept through his first five alarms. Figures.

Robert stood up and stretched the best he could. He had showered last morning so he was good for the rest of the day. Now all he needed to do was find some presentable clothing and he would be ready to go lurk in Mary’s backyard.

Robert stumbled out of his bed and glanced around the floor. There, a red shirt. Robert picked up and held it to his face, taking a sniff. It’d didn’t smell like shit, so it would work just fine.

Robert quickly changed into his clothes and shrugged on his signature leather jacket. God, he loved the thing. Once he didn’t look like complete shit and had brushed his teeth, he plopped down on the couch of his living room and turned on the television. Hell yeah, Long Haul Paranormal Ice Road Ghost Truckers was on. It was only a rerun but seriously, the show was fucking gold. He quickly set another alarm, just in case. The show was enthralling as all fuck and Robert would rather not piss Mary off by blowing the barbeque off in favor of amazing reality TV.

When the alarm finally went off, Robert threw his head back with a groan. He flicked the TV off and meandered on over and out the door. He took one deep breath before he marched on over to Mary’s house.

God, Mary owed him so much fucking alcohol for this.

Damien had been the first to arrive by quite a large margin. He had figured that it would only be polite to show up early and offer his assistance to Mary and Joseph, considering the two seemed to be hosting this get-together in his honor. Truly, it was incredibly kind of them.

Damien had helped set out eating utensils, went out with Mary to buy all of the condiments they could possibly conceive of, and assisted in preparing what Joseph described as his “legendary” chocolate-chip cookies. Damien wasn’t sure how Joseph’s cookies could have reached such a status so he assumed it was something of a joke.

Regardless, Damien had felt rather proud of his contribution and, by the time the start of the event rolled around, everything was perfectly set up.

“We did a pretty kick-ass job,” Mary stated.

“I have to admit, I think this has been some of the fastest and best prep work for a party that we’ve ever done,” Joseph agreed as he looked over the yard. “Thank you, Damien. I can’t begin to tell you how grateful I am.”

Damien smiled. Joseph seemed to take in a policy of avoidance around him, so to hear such sincere gratitude… well, Damien was rather moved.

“It was no trouble at all,” Damien assured. “It was an honor to lend you my assistance.”

Damien could practically hear Mary rolling her eyes while Joseph let out a small chuckle. “Sure thing, buddy.”

Damien perked up. Joseph had called him his buddy! He had never done so before.

Damien was touched.

“Oh hold up, angtsy grunge man approaching from four o’clock,” Mary said, brandishing her arm to their right and pointing. Damien followed her line of sight and was quickly graced with the sight of Robert sauntering into the yard.

“You cut me deep, Mary,” Robert smirked. “You just gotta hit right where it hurts.”

Mary grinned. “What are friends for?”

“Fuck if I know.” Robert looked over to Joseph before letting his gaze slide over him and on to Damien. “Good to see you again.”

Damien couldn’t help but smile at the man. “And it’s a pleasure to greet you again as well. I confess that I am most grateful that I am seeing you once again; I rather appreciate the confirmation that you are not, in fact, dead.”

That seemed to startle a laugh out of Robert. “Who knows, maybe I’m a ghost and my specter has come back to haunt you.”

“Oh dear, that would be most alarming.”

“God, you two are such dweebs,” Mary interrupted. “I can’t handle this much nerdiness.”

“You’re just jealous that you won’t come back as a ghost,” Robert taunted.

Mary rolled her eyes. “Yeah, that’s it. I’m going to go and get myself a glass of wine.”

And with that, Mary sauntered into her home, presumably to find her poison of choice.

Joseph cleared his throat in a move that Damien immediately recognized as one of discomfort. “Well, I better go after her and grab some wine for the party before she drinks it all. I’ll be right back.”

Joseph quickly followed Mary, leaving Damien and Robert alone in the backyard.

Well, Damien thought, there’s no reason to let silence fall upon us.

“So, Robert,” Damien turned to the man, letting a smile form, “all jests aside, I would like to say that I am pleased that you’re doing well. I was actually quite worried about your wellbeing after you departed. Mary assured me that everything was fine, of course, and I must admit that I was rather relieved.”

“… huh,” was the eloquent response that Damien received. He was not going to let Robert’s unreadable expression deter him.

“Mary did tell me that you were out hunting…” Damien feigned stumbling over the word, “cryptids, was it? I’m most curious as to how you involved yourself in that particular pastime. I don’t suppose that you would mind telling me? I find it most intriguing.”

Damien wasn’t lying. The idea that a human glimpsed into the supernatural and was not only unafraid but then actively sought out the paranormal… it was equally foolhardy and admirable.

Though really, Robert shouldn’t be out doing anything without protection.

The only reaction that Damien was able to garner from Robert was a blank stare. Damien could only wonder what the man might be thinking. He truly hoped he hadn’t said anything to give away his… less than human nature. Or maybe Robert simply thought him odd?

Oh, what he would give to know what this man was thinking!

Robert was floored.

This man had been genuinely concerned for his safety. Robert was used to people brushing off his cryptic words, dismissing his as a weirdo or a dramatic prick. Knowing that someone had listened to him, taken his words to heart, and then been sincerely worried was new. And Robert was pretty fucking sure that Damien was telling the truth. Robert liked to think that he was good enough at weaving stories and fake accounts to be able to pick up on when someone was lying or trying to pull a fast one. Damien most definitely did not give Robert any of those vibes.

So that was something. Damien actually gave a shit about him.

And then. Then Damien asked about cryptids.

Yeah, Robert mostly used cryptid hunting as a joke or something to weird people out, but he genuinely believed that there was shit out there that was beyond rational explanation, creatures whose very existence was questioned. Things that couldn’t be explained.

To have someone not dismiss him out of hand and then make an attempt to engage him on the topic out of nothing but innocent curiosity…

Yeah, Robert was thrown for a bit of a loop.

Throw all of that in with the fact that Damien was pretty handsome and smiled like someone had personally handed him the sun, and Robert almost felt a little flustered.

And fuck he should probably respond like any normal human being because Damien’s smile was slipping and that was when it registered in Robert’s brain that standing there silently was not a good way to keep a conversation going. Much as he valued silence, even he could realize that there was a time and place for it. That time was not while someone who seemed to be a genuinely good person tried to engage him in a conversation.

“Oh, you know,” Robert shrugged, attempting to feign nonchalance (which he was pretty fucking great at), “your typical story. Used to be a skeptic, never believed in any of that bullshit. Ran into something I couldn’t explain, scared me to hell and back again. Been a believer ever since. Not I just patrol, make sure that nothing steps too far outta line. Someone’s gotta keep the Dover Ghost in check.”

Damien’s head cocked to the side in a way that Robert could only associate with a puppy. “I cannot say that I am at all familiar with the Dover Ghost.”

Robert looked off to where Joseph was coming out of the door into the backyard in order to greet Brian. He continued, “Real nasty thing. Sticks to forested area. Stalks you in the dead of night. Looks like a human that was built wrong. Glowing purple eyes.”

When Robert turned back, Damien’s face scrunched in a way that he interpreted as nervousness. Time to milk it.

“Maybe a few weeks ago, I saw it clearly for the first time. I looked into its eyes. It wanted to murder me at the very least. Who knows what else it would have done to me if it had gotten a hold of me. But I’m a professional. It lunged at me, claws out and teeth snapping. I jumped back before it could take a chunk out of me. I had my knife out, but even I’m not batshit crazy enough to go head-to-head with this thing. I’ll admit it, I ran. I didn’t want to have any part of what that thing wanted. I booked it from the forest, but I could hear it running after me. I could feel the air move behind me as it swung its claws. And for a few moments, I swear I could feel its breath on my neck. But then, I was out of the woods. I ran onto the sidewalk. The world was brighter in the street. And just like that, it was gone. I looked back. Nothing. Not even any evidence to suggest that I had been running for my life except for my own pounding heart. Scariest experience of my life.”

Damien was now staring at him, wide-eyed and visibly paler than before Robert had begun his little tale.

“But don’t worry too much,” Robert hastened to assure him. “All you need to do is stay out of the forest at night. The thing hates light and never leaves its domain.”

“A-ah. I see,” Damien gave Robert a wavering smile. “Thank you ever so much for the advice. I truly appreciate it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I believe that I should introduce myself to our neighbors before Mary forcibly drags me into socializing.”

Robert nodded. “Good call.”

With another uneven smile, Damien gave an eloquent wave and turned on his heel, walking towards Hugo.

Robert couldn’t believe that he had scared the guy so badly. Maybe he should tone it down next time. Damien had only really started to go as white as a sheet when Robert had started describing the Dover Ghost.

No more mentioning the Dover Ghost, then. There was absolutely no reason to scare off this sincere and adorable man.

#my posts #text #fanfiction #fanfic #my fanfiction #writing #my writing #Damien Bloodmarch #Robert Small #Joseph Christiansen #Mary Christiansen #Dream Daddy #DDADDS #Flower Demon Damien AU #Flower Demon Damien #Flower Demon!Damien #Flower Demon AU

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