#it might hurt but you’d be talking care of your mental health and well being

[shandycandy278]

that post u reblogged frames antis in a dishonest way... literally all we want is for people to be normal about minors and siblings.

but the issue is that most of the bad stuff is framed in a neutral light. or worse, it just exists for someones pleasure. which knowing fandom spaces, is going to be the case a rather high percentage of the time.

antis arent evil, and its clear that that post is coming from a close minded person.

sorry i just got up and seeing a post framing me as someone who wants to censor the whole internet makea me mad. i LOVE being not censored. its just some stuff HAS to be censored because its just morally gross.

but as i said, as long as that morally gross stuff is framed as it is, morally gross, im fine.

No, you’re right. Anti’s aren’t evil. But they’re not entirely right either. There’s a LOT of miscommunication going on in the drama surrounding them, and I will happily take a chance to try and communicate about this as clearly and calmly as I can.

I’m not mad or upset or anything, PLEASE do not see this as me being like “actually you’re WRONG”. That’s not it at all. I’m just going to be going over what was brought up in the post you are talking about, and how I interpreted them/what I believe.

(TW/CW: talk of the pro/anti drama, pedophilia, incest, abuse, murder, suicide, terrorism, rape, censorship)

I’m very confused as to how you thought this was an attack on you. The post was literally talking about how the response they have is very natural and good. Especially in real-life situations, because those sorts of things are wrong in real life. If you reread the post, you’ll see that it compares it to an automatic immune system for fandom spaces and the like. There was no hate or shade thrown, because you guys are necessary and right that incest and pedophilia is wrong. There’s nothing that says that you are not right.

But it also says that fiction is something that requires different approaches in this regard. People writing and drawing about pedophilia and Incest don’t want it to happen in real life an know it’s abusive and shady IRL. They KNOW it’s wrong, they aren’t denying that it’s wrong. The post actually explains this part better than I’ve seen many others describe this, and if you read it, you’ll find that they go on to define that exploring this sort of what-if thing in a fictional setting helps us, as humans, process the horrors of the reality and and the reality of the situation.

I’ve written about characters committing suicide and killing each other. Does that mean I want everyone to kill each other and then themselves? No. But I couldn’t fully process and define how that made me feel. Not until I wrote about it in a fictional setting. I didn’t even realize how horrible it was that I had almost offed myself years before that, back before I found writing and fanfiction. Not until I wrote about it. Now if I write characters killing themselves, it’s a reminder to myself. My life is valuable.

People make shows and the likes about serial killers too, you know. There’s fiction out there that highlights that, slavery, abuse, rape, terrible addictions, genocide, cults- but Anti’s don’t get upset about those. Not really.

Because those are ALL horrible, terrible things. Things that suck about our world, things that we hear about and it makes us feel sick. Because they’re BAD. Everyone knows they’re bad. Proshippers, Anti’s- EVERYONE. The only people who don’t know that are the people being abused and the people abusing them (depending on the situation).

You can drop into a pro shipper or Anti’s inbox and ask “how do you feel about school shootings, incest, pedophilia, rape, and the likes IRL?”, and they will respond with “man they SUCK humans sucks I wish people wouldn’t do that, I wish humans would (insert something to try and get the horrendous acts to stop). I hate that it exists IRL.” Or something along those lines.

But I haven’t seen anything telling writers and artists to stop creating content on those things. Why? Because creating them in a fictional reality helps us process the truth of it.

All of this was also in the post! I understand if it was a hard read because you felt like you were being attacked by it, but I do NOT think the post’s intent was to “attack” antis. Heck, “anti” is even in quotes because I’m fairly certain OP was only using the title so that people would see it and know that this is what they were discussing. It was just to try to explain the dilemma to people who didn’t know, or to those who have chosen one moniker or another not knowing what exactly it means or what’s happening. An analysis, if you will.

But I’d like to gently ask (if you can find it in yourself to, because I’m not going to force you to do something you’re uncomfortable with) that you take a deep breath, push your feelings about the drama and the likes to the side, and re-read it. It really summed up everything nicely, with a comparison that is honestly very true- not just for fandom, but for a lot of humanity. Again, if you don’t, I understand. It’s very hard to reread a post after it gets you all huffy and puffy and upset. (Especially when you hate feeling like that, like I do, and it makes everything worse.) But it’s ALSO very hard to see what exactly is being talked about in a post and what the point of the post is if you read it huffy and puffy. Again, you don’t HAVE to, but it’s something I’d recommend trying if you feel up to it.

Along side that, I don’t think pedophilia and incest in fandom was ever intended or meant for it to be centered AROUND the fact that it was pedophilia or incest. Not unless it was a MAJOR story/plot point, or a part of the source material (like in a LOT of various Anime. I’ll be very honest, it’s a surprise that anime has not been brought up/referenced in any pro/anti drama I’ve seen so far. There is a LOT of fictional pedophilia/incest going on in there. Then again, Japanese fandom has stated that they don’t care about antis/proshippers or any of this sort of thing and will just happily block anyone who tries to drag in drama or throw them into mud. Maybe that’s why. Idk).

I personally think it started because people liked the idea of the character types and personalities working off of each other. Not because of some “HIDDEN SECRET EVIL PREDATOR URGE”. They just like how the characters acted together and had chemistry, thought it was cute, and went with it. The fact that it was incest and/or pedophilia wasn’t even at the forefront of their minds. They literally went “OOO TWO PRETTY CHARACTERS they should kiss”.

And honestly, that’s a lot of what shipping just… is. It’s deciding you like how two characters interact, taking it, and running off with it. Shipping discourse exists because people disagree on how that should happen and what dynamics should be in a ship, too! Because it happens soooo often. This isn’t much different, even if it’s a ship that others or many May view as problematic.

The post WAS admittedly a bit confusing about this next topic, so I understand if this was a big basis towards confusion, but-

I am a firm believer that people should create what they want to make, and not what others want to see from them.

And this post says much the same, in the later parts of it. Just phrased weirdly.

If this means that they make a bunch of stuff about incest, porn, pedophilia, murder- that’s not our business.

We are in no right to tell them what they should or should not create. It doesn’t matter their reasoning. It is their freedom to make whatever they want. No one should be policed over their own content, which they make for themselves.

But You know what is within your right to do?

Blocking them.

You have every right to block them so that you don’t have to see what they’ve made. If you don’t like it, I recommend you familiarize yourself with the block button and blocking tags, too.

And I think this is SO IMPORTANT for people to do.

A lot of proshippers have adopted this tactic, did you know? A lot of them block other proshippers and the likes ALL THE TIME, because they don’t like the content that that person makes. It’s fascinating. Proshippers will even do their best to respect Anti shippers by blocking them, so that the Anti won’t ever have to see the Proshipper’s works. And if proshippers find that someone is actually IRL a pedophile or a predator like that (a rare occurrence, mind you), they will block them, too! (Like what happened with an NSFW artist named Neahchan some time back).

But I think SOME (not all) Anti’s don’t understand that this is the easiest and safest way. Because you want to know what those FEW (not all) Antis do if they follow a proshipper?

If they are not blocked immediately, one of the first things those few do is harass the person. Cyber bully them. Maybe something small at first, but it gets to big things quickly. “You are sick I can’t believe you support this, let me make a full on call out post about this to tell everyone to isolate and bully you too”. If the proshipper chooses to comment or argue against the allegations, harassment just gets worse. If they block it then, it saves some face, but the drama swells horribly and it takes HUGE blows on their mental health.

Do you remember those videos about the kid that was bullied online and in school? About how they were going to kill themselves because they felt so horrible? That’s what those few antis are doing. They’re doing that to a human being.

(To me, this is the big issue. This is the thing we should REALLY be talking about instead of if a ship is okay to ship or whatever.)

If the proshipper blocks them right away, it’s a lot less impactful and a lot less harm is done. And those few antis will pick up a fuss about it “why did you block me! Your AUs are so cool! Whatever I’m going to try and harass you anyway”. (This is something that has actually happened recently to Skumhu, the creator of leviathan tale.)

When proshippers usually talk about Antis, it’s often these antis specifically that they’re talking about. The ones that harass and cyber bully them over completely fictional things that have no impact on the real world.

But why am I bringing up blocking people, anyway? You were talking about censorship.

That’s because blocking is a form of censorship, just personal to you.

If you were to go out one day and censor the entirety of the internet from, let’s say, images of any and all kinds of skeletons because skeletons and their symbolism made you uncomfortable, you’d get a LOT of people really upset at you. Because skeletons mean something completely different to them.

Okay, well, what if you prevented people from talking about and discussing terrorism by censoring them? It’s bad and horrible, surely if we stopped talking about it then it would stop. But now a lot of people who were victims or terrorism are upset because they had safe spaces where they could talk about their traumas and express them without fear. They don’t get that anymore with censorship in play. And now, terrorists have actually increased their attacks because there isn’t enough awareness going around, and people can’t prepare to defend themselves or keep themselves safe because they can’t even find out that it’s happening.

So now what if we censor pedophilia? Horrible, gross. SURELY something that’s influenced from everything going on online, so stopping it would put a stop to it. Right?

I promise, the same exact thing that I described above with terrorism will happen here.

Victims would not be able to discuss or share their experiences safely, or recover in their own way. Children would be put into further risk because parents wouldn’t be taught how to teach kids to watch out for the signs of a predator and notify their parents. Some parents might not even know of what signs to look out for, because we censored all the content of it.

Full, complete censorship of something gives oppressors the power to be more oppressive.

I understand being uncomfortable when fictional characters are written as incestuous or pedophilic, but if you want to censor the uncomfortable and icky gross stuff entirely, you should be ready for the consequences of censoring EVERY LITTLE THING about it because extremists and religious extremists will take what you’ve done and make it ten times worse. It’s not worth the pain and suffering it would cause. Not worth the lives that would be lost or the lack of support systems in place for survivors.

Is this every Anti’s vendetta? ABSOLUTELY NOT! But that doesn’t mean that censorship doesn’t give the abusers the power and freedom they need to hurt people.

There’s a reason why these are the signs of people in abusive relationships, and that’s because the lack of knowledge and support someone has, the more power the abuser has.

The safest and healthiest way isn’t to censor the whole internet because you’re uncomfortable with something. It’s to block users and tags who make you personally uncomfortable. It’s SO much better for your mental health, AND theirs. No one gets harmed, hurt, or cyberbullied.

It’s so important to know that there is SUCH a vast range of pro and anti people. There are certainly proshippers that are abusers, trolls, or jerks. Just like there are also antis who are the same.

(Trust me. I’ve been hurt by both a proshipper and an anti shipper. I’d rather not have to talk about my experiences with them to prove my point, because I’m also friends with pros and antis. It’s also a very private experience, and just mentioning that it happened is something that makes me feel weird.)

Repeat after me the 15% rule: in any given group of people, 15% of them are just the worst, most horrible and sucky people you could ever meet. And those people should be blocked for EVERYONE’S mental health and well being, but more specifically, YOUR mental health and well being.

I apologize if this doesn’t make sense or if there are any typos. It’s 5:30 in the morning and I haven’t slept, but I just… HAD to say this.

I’m so sorry you got hurt by that post and felt like it was attacking you. That was not my intention and I doubt that that was OP’s intention, either. But it’s SO important to me that people are free to do as they wish and create what they want in safe fictional spaces, to define that proship does not mean they support those things IRL, and the issues with censoring the icky gross stuff.

#ask sc #drama #pro shipping #anti shipping #pro ship #anti ship #pro anti drama #stars it’s 6AM now #i need to sleep so I can go to work tomorrow but I don’t think I can anymore #this exhausted me because this isn’t something I like to talk about #because blocking and moving on is just so much easier and safer than having to spill my heart out #but you are my friend and I care for you #so I did it anyway #and even if you disagree still #or even decide to block me or something because of it #I’d be okay with that #it might hurt but you’d be talking care of your mental health and well being #and that’s far more important to me than anything else #same with any other mutuals who read this

[bakugokemkatsuki]

Overworked

Izuku Midoriya (Deku) x Reader

**Pro Hero Era **Genre: Fluff **Warning(s): Cussing, use of nickname love for reader, reader size as being smaller mentioned once **Reader GN/Fem/M **Key: Talking; You, Izuku, "Bakugo"

Dating the number one pro came with a lot of responsibility. The news constantly had their eye on him on you on the relationship. They were looking for any reason to rip him to shreds but also any reason to boost him up. This was a lot to handle for one person and you tried to help him bare as much of the weight as possible, but you could only do so much. He was All Might’s successor, the new symbol of peace and justice. That was a lot to handle. This led to Deku making less and less time for you but more importantly less and less time for himself. He was pulling long hours working 12 to 14 hours a day 7 days a week. And if he wasn’t at the office, on a mission, or patrolling he was on call; ready to jump into action the second he was needed. After months of this you could see it was really taking a toll on him. His mental and emotional health were going down the drain. His physical health was starting to faulter as well. He had dark bags under his eyes and was covered in so many bruises and cuts from all the fights he had been in recently. His hair was always a mess, and he wasn’t eating nearly enough. You’d finally had enough, you were going to have a serious talk with him about all of this, tonight. You had tried to bring it up several times before, but he always assured you he was fine and brushed past it. You weren’t taking no for an answer today.

You heard the jingle of his keys as he unlocked the door to the apartment. “Hey love, I’m home.” “I’m in the kitchen.” You were waiting. It was now or never. “Hey, love how was- “Izuku stopped mid-sentence as he entered the kitchen. You sat at the table waiting for him with a very serious look in your face. “Love, what’s wrong?” concern laced Izuku’s voice. “We need to talk. Please sit down.” He sat down visibly nervous. In ways you found it funny seeing the worlds new symbol of peace so afraid of you. I mean you were MUCH smaller than him and your quirk was in no means even comparable to his. “Izu we need to have a serious discussion.” “Love I’m sorry, whatever I did to upset you please, forgive me. You know I would never upset you on purp-“ You cut him off as you reached across the table to grab is hand. “Izu I’m not mad. I just want talk to you about work.” “Work?” “Yes Izu. Work. You keep avoiding me and saying your fine and your not and I will not accept that answer anymore. You are struggling. I can see it. The stress and pressure is really getting to you. From your hair to your eyes to the fact you don’t even eat dinner with me most nights anymore. I can see it in the way you fight, the way you present yourself, the way you act. I mean you come home shower sleep maybe 4-5 hours get up work out and go back to the office again. Your NOT taking care of yourself Izu. Seeing you like this hurts. I want to help you.” Izuku was silent for a moment. “Your right… I am struggling.” Tears start to form in the corners of his eyes as he speaks. “I was always taught to put others first and to be a symbol, a hero everyone could look up too. I was built to take All Might’s place, but it’s much harder than it seems.” “I know love, but if you don’t take care of yourself now, you won’t be here to take care of others later.” “Your right love, and I’m sorry. I have been neglectful to both you and myself. I will make it up to you.” “Izu. I understand. I know your busy being the worlds greatest hero.” “Thanks. I’m going to go call out tomorrow so we can spend the whole day relaxing.” “No need. I already made arrangements. Bakugo and Shoto are going to split taking over some extra work while you’re gone. The office gave you a whole week off. I wasn’t the only one who noticed you pushing yourself to much. Those two did as well. I believe Bakugo’s exact words were ‘Icyhot and I have got this covered. Get the damn nerd to take time off before he kills himself.’ Those two really care about you. As do I, so please spend the week with me?” “Sure my love. I’ll try to cut back some on hours when I go back as well.” “Thanks Izu. Now lets eat so we can go to bed.”

#anime #manga #anime x reader #mha #bnha #my hero academia #mha x yn #myheroacademia #boku no hero acedamia #deku #deku x y/n #deku x reader #deku x you #izuku midoriya #katsuki bakugou #bakugo #todoroki #shoto todoroki #shoto todoroki x reader #bakugo x reader #midoriya x y/n #midoriya x reader #midoriya x you #izuku midoriya x reader #midoriya izuku #midoriya izuku x reader #izuku x reader #izuku x you #izuku x y/n #izuku midoriya x you

[bots-and-cons]

Yay they are open so how about decepticons dealing with a cybetronian teen who is very violent and has anger issues due to the war

Oh boy, this might be a bit toxic but I do love this concept because of the sort of toxic potential. These are just my honest thoughts about this kind of situation, and how each character would deal with it. Also not all the cons, because I always forget someone and then I don’t feel like adding when I realize it

•Megatron is taking full advantage of your volatile nature and violent tendencies

•He has put you in a lot of dangerous situations on purpose, because he trusts you’re strong/angry enough to win, no matter how badly you get hurt

•You’re a very frequent visitor at the med bay, because of your recklessness and tendency to go way too overboard when you fight

•Knockout has sort of tried to act like a therapist, even though he’s pretty bad at it

•He isn’t really good at dealing with his own emotions either, so he really isn’t much help with yours, even if he tries

•Knockout doesn’t really struggle with anger, but he does have a lot of issues with self loathing, even though he puts up a confident front

•Breakdown thinks you’re more of a funny case, you’re much smaller than him, so even if you’re angry, he has no reason to be intimidated by you

•If you ever get angry at him and come at him, he can just hold you by the helm as you swing your arms without reaching him

•Breakdown usually just laughs, which doesn’t really help with you being angry with him, if anything, it just fuels you

•You have enough self control not to use your blaster, besides, hitting something or someone is much more freeing

•Soundwave honestly doesn’t really pay attention to you, which you’re used to, so you don’t really care

•If you need to talk to him, he will answer you in some way, but if he deems it to be something you should know, he sort of ignores you, or motions you to use the computer yourself and find out

•You’ve also got a lot of guilt about your anger, and even thought a lot of it is directed outwards at others, there’s a ton you of anger you have towards yourself as well

•Starscream is of course also thinking how he can best use your rage for his own purposes

•He kind of uses you as his personal bodyguard, which is only really possible because you have a deal that he gives you certain freedoms on the Nemesis and in general

•Shockwave doesn’t really mind you, as long as you don’t get in his way, or break any of his experiments or anything

•Primus forbid if you get angry and break something important of his, he would probably throw you off the Nemesis or start experimenting on you

•He doesn’t get angry though, or at least he doesn’t show it at all, but he does think you deserve it

•There is no one on the Nemesis who would address the trauma you’d gone through or how bad you’re feeling, because literally none of the decepticons can even acknowledge their own issues

•It’s a very bad situation all around for you, because you’ve grown up with the constant violence, fear and anger and there’s no one who can help you deal with your issues

•I would say a lot of the decepticons struggle with a lot of anger, be it towards each other, the autobots, or themselves

•Pretty much the same for team Prime to be honest, but at least they have Ratchet to help them with their mental health

#transformers #tfp #transformers prime #decepticons #megatron #soundwave #starscream #shockwave #knockout #breakdown #tfp headcanons #reader insert #platonic transformers x reader

[riewritten]

YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT A THING

HEAP OF SOLACE: EPISODIC SERIES

LEVI X F!READER, LEVI X YOU, NO Y/N

SUMMARY: Because there he is, giving you refuge as easily as he breathes. The way he does it so smoothly enthralls you, just as if he was born to be the greatest companion ever alive. | AO3

WORDS: 3.7k

TAGS AND WARNINGS: explicit sexual content. read at your own risk. modern AU, fluff & smut, slice of life, masturbation, oral sex, vaginal fingering & penetration, orgasm delay/denial, multiple orgasms & sex positions, squirting, creampie, nipple licking, dirty talk (there was an attempt)

Tired. You were really tired. One of those moments you yearn for nothing but to escape. Life has been either bleak or downright exhausting for you. All the strain you put on your body finally caught up with you too. You couldn't even get up and drink water, let alone reach for your phone and order food delivery, perhaps even medicine.

Just before you could lament how sticky you feel with the hot sweat all over your body, you heard someone knock at your door.

Levi.

Oh god.

Your phone started to ring too. That was when you struggled to reach for it.

"I've been calling you for hours," Levi muttered, flat but stern, obvious worry laced in his tone.

"Sorry, I don't feel well today."

"Are you home?"

"I am," you groaned as you sat up. "Hold on a second."

Every step gets your body heavier. You had to cling to the knob to not let yourself fall.

Levi wasn't impressed with that.

"Please don't berate me again," you tiredly sighed.

"Uh-huh," he scorned, made his way to the living room first to drop his things, then walked towards you to help you walk, “says the one who keeps on getting into a situation she deserves to get berated with." Upon feeling how limped your body was, he added, "How long have you been like this?"

Perhaps it was just you being sensitive or mentally crippled by the physical decline, but the alarm in his voice sank your disposition further. "Levi, I told you to not reprimand me on—"

"Answer my question," but this time it wasn’t stern anymore. He knew better than to keep scolding you when you’re practically begging him to tone it down.

However, the gesture just peaked your emotions further. It was until you huffed a stifled sob that he realized it might've been too long already. Swiftly, he had your head buried in his neck. With lips nuzzled on your hair, he said defeatedly, “What am I going to do with you, really?”

"I'm not crying because I'm sad," you clarified, "I’m crying because my head hurts so bad."

“I’m not saying anything.”

“And I won’t let you.”

“Channel your audacity to argue once you’re better.”

Your weeping went on for a while as you remembered that no, your life was never on the absolute scale of bleakness or exhaustion; not when he’s here, willing to shower you with the solace that you very much need. You yearn for this too aside from escape.

Feeling much better afterward, you whispered a small thanks and insisted on gaining your own balance but Levi was still reluctant. He’s not quite a clingy one but he gets quickly concerned if you fail to contact him immediately. You thought of kidding around then, “Do you remember the time you said I could slouch on your couch?” He raised his brows at you, urging you to say more hence you added, “slouch on your couch as you kiss me?”

He was taken aback, to say the least but the flush on your face quickly replaced his with amusement. Levi figured the fluster might be due to sickness but still, “Elaborate.”

“You know, I have a couch too.”

He hoped you’d be decent enough to spare him your adorability when it’s clear you’re the one who needed to be taken care of.

“If you get well in less than a day,” 

“Only if I get well?” you frowned. “Like, not even in the cheeks?”

He shot you a flat yet knowing look. He surely knew what you were on, tiptoeing towards having him pamper you with his touches. His annoyance with your health neglect subsided as he figured out how to push your buttons thereafter.

He languidly moved his hand to cup your cheek and the other one to stroke your hair. His fingers teasingly slide over your lips but not all the way. He walked until you were pinned to the wall. With his forehead bumping yours, he asked, "You want it?"

Despite the tired demeanor, you managed to demand with a glare, "Give it, Levi."

He hummed in disapproval as his mouth went to your ear, "Do you think you deserve it, though?" His low tone tickled your skin; your already mushy mind weakened.

"I don't but you'll give it to me anyway." Your taunt was quickly replaced by a shriek as he tugged on your earlobe. He knew how it titillated you because when you tried to get away from his grasp to stop his lips, his strong build only pinned you further. He trapped your wrists above your head. He also raised a thigh between your legs to add more of the warming sensations. Heat prickled under your skin as if you weren’t already feeling hot to begin with.

"Levi," you whispered.

"Do you think you deserve it?" he repeated, more taunting.

"I don't, but oh—" your breath hitched when he sucked on your neck.

"You think you deserve it, hm?" he hummed mockingly.

You tried to grasp away again but your weak muscles didn’t cooperate. Admitting temporary defeat then, "I don't."

"Good girl," he continued nibbling, though. He even went to the other side of your neck as he added, "I could pamper you all you want but not when you're acting too spoiled." His spare hand played around your waist up to your chest.

You wanted to say, "Deal with it. You chose to be in this relationship." but then realized that Levi is too amused to not let his point be established. It's easy to get back at him if he's annoyed, but certainly not if he's amused.

"Sorry," you murmured. He still didn't stop his wet kisses. You tried to wiggle your hand away again, but you only felt him sneer. “Sorry, Levi,” you repeated. When you breathed a sigh, he huffed another one, "Baby, please." You nuzzled your lips weakly on his hair.

He let go of your neck with a pop, one that will surely mark, "Go to your bed and sleep." Then he finally unpinned you to the wall.

Your insides are roaring to sleep. "You'll still give it to me, won't you?" you weakly pleaded. You can't even mess around anymore. He knows how to touch you in a way that'd leave you begging for more.

"If you get well in less than four hours."

"You said less than a day! Why did it decrease to four hours?" you exclaimed but instead of answering, he just raised his eyebrows at you, challenging you to repeat that. "Okay, then. I'll get well in less than four hours," you mumbled then walked lamentably towards your bed.

This time, Levi is settling in the kitchen with your apron, about to start cooking. "Take all the rest that you need. I won't give you that later on."

And oh, how you'd love that to happen. You finally perked up; never in your life did you feel the resolution to get away from a simple disease.

That's why when you finally woke up with a relatively better temperature, you rushed to the living room and jumped at him on the couch. You clung to his lap, wrapped an arm around him, and landed kisses all over his face, "I did so well. Reward me."

"You slept for an entire day," he retorted. Your mouth gaped open. You thought only two hours had passed. "Not so well if you'd ask me."

"Seriously?"

"As serious as I can be."

You frowned then leaned your forehead on his, "You must be so worried. I'm sorry." then sadly played on the buttons of his shirt.

"I've been telling you so many times."

You landed a wet kiss on his lips, "Sorry."

"And you didn't even answer my calls."

You slowly worked towards unbuttoning his whole shirt, "Sorry."

"You should've called me as soon as you started feeling unwell."

He didn't move his hand to remove the garment completely so you just splayed your hands all over his toned chest. As languid as ever, your lips rolled over each other. He let you in when your tongue asked for entrance. You muttered soft apologies in between kisses. Not that Levi will ever try to resist. Unlike you, he was never stubborn. He missed you and was worried. You jumping at him like this first thing upon feeling well is the least that you could do to ease it.

"You still hate relying on me, don't you?" he said after the intimate exchange.

“I admit I still have to get used to it but," you smiled at him resolutely, "you're doing so well for me. I'll rely on you more. I'm sorry." It wasn't supposed to be a heavy question; you knew it too. Levi just wanted to confirm it. 

He gently raked his nails through your hair as both of you stayed silent. When he cupped your cheek, you swiftly leaned on his palm. "Have I done well?" he asked a bit teasingly.

"What's with that question?"

"Have I?"

"Always, always the best for me." 

"Very well," he said as he slowly hiked your shirt up, fingers playing around your back. "Reward me then."

You will, god, you will. You wrapped an arm around his neck as you went for another kiss. It's much messier this time, overjoyed at his approval. Without wasting any moment, you worked on removing his pants. You thought the reward he could have was to use your mouth however he wanted, but he appears to have other plans.

"Lie down," he dragged you onto the couch, landed another harsh kiss, and when he finally withdrew, you were panting. Just as he likes. You must feel what you're doing to him.

He tapped on your clothes, "Off. All of it." and you followed suit quickly. He's not in the mood to play around anymore. When your wet heat flashed before him, you almost saw him smile. "Touch yourself as I watch."

"I thought you wanted to be rewarded?" you inquired as you obeyed.

"Well, your pleasure is my reward."

He scooted towards you and played on your chest. Not long after, he latched his tongue on one of them. He didn’t dare break eye contact when he pushed two fingers inside, going faster and faster upon feeling how wet it was. "Don't stop playing at your clit," he breathed before sucking on the other tit.

"Oh god, Levi." His actions were so precise, intended only to exude more pleasure. Curling two fingers inside, tongue rolling around your mound, eyes burning around your face; every pleasure etched in his memory. "Let me love you too, please—"

"You do," his mouth went to shower your face with wet kisses next, "you love me so much that you can't even help but jump on me as soon as you wake up." He punctuated his amusement by pounding his fingers harder, "You'll let me taste you too, right?"

"Yes, oh god, yes—"

As he swiftly scooted down and lapped you open, you were urged to keep your fingers moving. You moaned unabashedly. He hummed in approval, very much pleased at the way you tasted and the way your back arched.

"Hands on your chest," he added in between, "play on your tits, just like that."

The overwhelming sensations teetered under your skin. The actions persisted for a while, and not long after you felt the spark jolting inside your body.

"Levi, close. Please. I'm close."

As if that was the cue, he abruptly halted.

"Shit," you hissed at the barred tension in your lower stomach.

He worked on removing his pants while watching your hole clench on nothing, "Your frustration is my reward too."

"Savor it, you bastard."

“I surely will.”

Levi figured he wasn't patient enough to settle on the couch's limited space, so he carried you to the bed after discarding his garments. You wrapped your legs around his waist and arms around his neck.

When he threw you on the sheets he commanded, "On all fours." 

You pushed your face down the pillows and wiggled your hips up. He stroked himself up and down your wetness, exuding a frustrated whimper from you. "Angry now? Thinking about how your boyfriend fails to spoil you rotten, huh?"

"I told you it's a reward," you murmured in your pillows, grudgingly swallowing your pent-up rage to serve the man who never fails to do the same. "You can use me all you want right now. If you don't want me to cum then I won't."

"Oh?" Levi hummed, impressed. "Even if I don't touch you for days after? Even if I forbid you to even touch yourself?"

No way. He must have gotten really angry at you at some point.

"Answer me," he grunted, pressing the tip of his cock onto you but not going all the way.

Well, all you have to do is to seduce him until he can't help himself. But you doubt that now because he's actually a sucker for your desperation. The torment would surely go on for a while.

"Yes," you bit your lip to restrain yourself, "all that you want. You can do what you want with me."

"Such a good girl," said Levi. Amidst the mocking, he actually took time to gauge whether you were wet enough to take him. He slammed in without warning upon realizing so. "Don't worry, I'm not that bad," he grabbed your head and thrust it down the pillows.

The tempo is completely unrelenting and lurches are always followed by a grunt. Levi's own teasing must've riled him up too. When you pushed your hips in tandem with his thrusts, he went even faster. You can hear how loud the slapping sounds are. It's ringing in your ears, utter pleasure wavering inside. "S-so good, 's too good. Please don't stop. Please–" 

"I wouldn't dare." He drew your shoulders towards him, claiming every skin his lips could reach all over your back.

When his palm pressed on your lower stomach you finally snapped in pleasure, "Yes. Don't you dare—god—don't you fucking dare. You're gonna let me cum, spoil me rotten, fuck me good—"

You couldn't see his face but you’re sure he was sneering, "Yeah? Then why don't you just live with me as you said? Settling like a pretty little flower, waiting all day to be watered like this."

“And I’ll do so—I’ll do so like a good girl,” every inch of you is trembling in pleasure at his words. You never saw yourself completely opening up to someone like this—to have his pledge to take care of you for all he could, to rely on him, to have him transcend the voices inside your head saying you're all alone.

"Live with me. I'll do everything for you. You don't have to worry about a thing. You can work all you want and no damn fever would last on your body—shit, you're clenching hard,” he exclaimed sharply. “You like that, hm? Is the thought of me doting on you that appealing?”

"Yes," you murmured from behind, "I'll take care of—I’ll—"

You can't even come up with a coherent response anymore. He turned you into a babbling mess. Both his words and the way his hips snap send your brain towards further haziness.

"Can I do it inside?" You could feel him twitching as he added, "Can I? Take all of me as well. Come on."

You’ll be the one to do the begging if he didn’t ask. Too debauched to say a word, you concurred by clenching on him harder and meeting his thrusts more ardently. When he felt your approval, he quickly pulled out and flipped you on your back. He opened your legs wide and thrust again.

If you don't know him well, you'd think that he's completely unaffected by this; but his face is flushed, his toned body is drenched in sweat, the wetness where the two of you meet is a bit too slick and noisy to ignore, and oh, the reverence he keeps showering you with. You don't want this to end. 

Levi grasped your chin and tilted it so you'd look at him straight while being ravaged. Both your mouths were partly open, drawn to each other's burning gazes.

"I'm cumming," you said, wrapping your legs around his waist so he wouldn't let go. "Come on, inside, please. I'll take it—oh fuck yes—" his frantic bucks paid off when you spasmed on his cock.

He gave you all of him then, emptied himself with a loud grunt. You tried to utter something, perhaps another series of begging. Shockwaves blurred your vision as his warm essence engulfed your insides. He was whispering silly nothings, too: how good you are, how sweet for him, how both of you will go on with this endlessly for tonight—

"Wait, what?"

"Did I stutter?" said Levi as he finally pulled out, though he scooted his dick towards your mouth and instructed, "Clean it." He didn't even give you the chance to talk more, he just plunged it in and let you lick your mixed essence altogether. "Good. Fuck, so fucking good."

Upon finishing, he gripped your hair and delved his mouth into you—delighted to taste the sinful mess that both of you had made as well.

“Do what I want, you said. What if I want to pump you full of my cum tonight? Who am I to deny if you want me to ruin you so bad?" And there you felt him again. He's stroking himself to your wetness, moaning lowly at the slick of fluids.

But he did it the other way this time. He waited until you weren't stimulated anymore before pushing through. He'd swirl his tongue on your tit while languidly plunging inside. Then he'd go faster, then faster, then stop upon feeling you clench. He stops whenever you're about to cum, countless times. Even your pleas went unheard. He's too pleased to see you desperate to cum.

"Empty," you inaudibly said as you flipped the position. You hovered on top. Levi was taken aback. "My insides are empty without you. Please." Levi realized you were completely out of it this time—lidded eyes, lips partly open, too light-headed to register how taken aback he was. "Fill me up—oh, yeah. Oh fuck." You swallowed his dick with your warmth then engulfed his lips with a warm kiss.

Pleasure crippled Levi's body. He doesn't even have to snap his hips anymore. You swirl yours on him too well without a single care. Levi realized he had overdone his teasing as you’re completely dumbed out now. But god, it felt so good. You really deserve to be pampered to death after this.

"Ravage me. Use me all you want. Pump me with your cum." you muffled with open-mouthed kisses on his neck, "Please, so good, Levi." Then he felt you clench on him. You came without warning, squirted all over, not giving a damn about the sheets.

He huffed a tsk then called your name, "You're just doing as you please now." He continued plunging himself in nonetheless, not giving a care that you just came.

At some point, you feel him twitching inside you too but he stops even before he could cum. He’s intentionally delaying himself to feel more of you inside. Every time he edges, he changes the position—he'll have you ride him, take you against the wall, take you on your knees, slot himself inside while pressing on your abdomen.

As he pushed and pulled on his orgasm, his grunts became louder. He's calling your name repeatedly, every syllable running music to your ears.

You were being ravaged. The longer it takes, the more you can't feel anything but him sinking inside; you’re so delightfully filled. Levi was handling your body as if you wouldn't be able to move without his help.

"Why are you trying to slip away from me?" he grunted sardonically as he felt your limbs shake.

"I—I'll die, hah, I'll die!"

"You would never," he heaved a chuckle—the first time he did for tonight. "I plan on keeping you alive and—oh fuck I'm cumming this time—give you the world, everything I have."

You're certain you're going to squirt again so you tapped on him, "The sheets will get wet—"

“It is already wet,” he knew what you meant so he hyped you further, "go on—fuck I can feel it—let it out, yeah, that’s it." 

And both of you did it at the same time. Your limbs shook for a while and you were too shocked to even mind the mess. Levi’s release lasted for quite a moment too, holding onto your thighs hard to keep you from moving as he emptied himself, staring at you endearingly for letting him do so.

When nerves from the intense orgasm calmed, you whispered with a chuckle, "Can't anymore. I can't feel anything."

"I'm sorry," he pulled out gently this time but slotted his fingers inside to keep his seed from dripping, "There you go, lovely thing. You did so well for me."

You nuzzled on his neck with a moan, savoring his scent that would most certainly be the last thing needed for a best night's sleep. Levi ran his fingers through your hair, encouraging you so.

"Let me rest for a minute. I'll help you clean after—"

"Told you, I'll do everything.” He cut you off while soothing your sore muscles, pretty fingers tingling around your skin. “You don't have to worry about a thing." 

You chuckled, "I'll do that too. Both of us must."

"You just did, though." Then his palm pressed slightly on your lower stomach—plump with his cum, "You took care of me so well. Feel it?"

"You bastard," you mumbled, finally zoning out, trusting the cleaning task to Levi this time. "What are we going to do now?"

"Be stuck with each other for good. That's what we're going to do."

← FLUFF | SMUT →

#levi x you #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman #levi x reader #levi ackerman fluff #captain levi #attack on titan #levi ackerman imagine #levi smut #aot smut #levi ackerman smut #snk fanfiction #aot levi #captain levi ackerman #snk smut #levi ackerman fanfiction #aot levi smut #levi aot #levi attack on titan #levi fanfiction #levi fluff #levi #attack on titan smut #shingeki no kyoujin levi #snk levi #attack on titan levi #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyojin levi #snk levi ackerman

[truly-twirls]

Eat With Me - c. beomgyu

Word Count: 1,496

Warnings: Food mention, Mental health, Depression, Disordered eating, Exhaustion, Overworking

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Characters: Choi Beomgyu

AO3 Link

🌱🌱🌱

“So…are we gonna talk about yesterday?”

It was a dreaded question, but it was one that you knew wouldn’t be avoided forever.

“I don’t know how to explain it.”

That was a lie. You hated lying to your boyfriend, but you believed that if you began to spill your inner thoughts, you’d shatter like a glass cup.

“That’s okay–” Beomgyu shuffled closer to where you sat on the couch and placed an arm around your shoulders. “Tell me the bits and pieces that you do understand, then we can try and put them together, yeah?”

Oh, where would you start?

Would you start with the fact that ever since you graduated high school three months ago all you did was work? 

And then when the opportunity came to you, a second job was added onto your schedule, leading to a daily agenda of waking up, going to work for 10+ hours, and coming back home to sleep?

Or do you say that you feel that you’ve been incredibly ungrateful to Beomgyu, who seems to be more than okay with delaying dates and rearranging his own schedule to fit yours?

Or what about this, you still find it incredibly hard to take proper care of yourself, despite being an adult, basic tasks still get the best of you sometimes. 

And such failures make your fears for the future even worse, because at this rate, would you even be able to survive for a week without someone reminding you to eat, or to take a nap, or to shower in the morning?

Maybe this conversation can be your opportunity to give Beomgyu, who has been nothing but patient and affectionate with you, a way out. He deserved better than this. Better than you. 

He needed someone who knows how to allot time for the other, to be able to properly reciprocate the love he gives.

It’s going to rip your heart to shreds, because in full honesty, you never felt more loved by anyone when Beomgyu came into your life. 

You just wish you knew how to express it, but of course, seven months into the relationship you knew it was too late to fix it.

You opened your mouth, with a heavy heart. “Gyu–”

“Y/N. Can I see your hands please?”

The question caused your train of thought to go awry, but your hands, that were originally busy messing with the loose threads of your shorts, moved closer to Beomgyu’s figure.

His arm that was securely wrapped around your shoulders carefully peeled itself off and joined the hand that was engulfing your own. 

Beomgyu lifted your hands and pressed soft kisses to them, not in place particularly, just featherlight drops of affection. You fought tears from welling up as you watched this.

“Gyu…I’m not sure…We should..”

“I’m not going to lie to you, baby, it hurts me tremendously to see you drained. I hear you crying yourself to sleep sometimes. I hear you talking to yourself in the bathroom.. I wasn’t oblivious but I didn’t want to mention it because I knew you’d feel embarrassed and might shut me out.”

Oh.. If that’s the case, then does he…?

“I only heard you talk to yourself in the bathroom once, but it was enough for me to not be able to watch you…to watch you slip away from me. It hurts, Y/N.” You could see your boyfriend was also fighting back tears as his grip on your hands tightened.

“Gyu, what’d you hear?”

“...You don’t think you deserve this, that you deserve me, or the life we’re going to live together.” 

Beomgyu’s breath hitched as he stumbled over his words, “Maybe I haven’t reass.. reassured you enough or maybe I could’ve tried harder to keep everything else neat while you were at work–”

“Baby, no.”

“..What? Was that not it either?.. Did I do something else wrong?”

You slipped your hands out of your boyfriend’s hands and placed them on either side of his neck, “I don’t think I could’ve asked for a better support system, a better lover, a better soulmate than you, Choi Beomgyu. I think–No, I know I haven’t been the best at expressing all these…thoughts but they do exist. I want you to feel as loved as you have made me feel. And I’m sorry that I began to prioritize work over spending time with you, not when you put so much effort into making me smile and laugh like there’s no tomorrow. I adore you, Gyu.”

At this point, both of you had silent tears flowing down your faces. It was one of those heavy conversations that neither of you were used to just yet. But for now, sitting in each other’s presence was enough to ease that ache.

A solid ten minutes passed as the two of you took some time to collect your thoughts and calm down from your confession.

“Yesterday… Your coworker called me saying you fainted on the job, that you were complaining of feeling nauseous beforehand.. Why didn’t you tell me? At the very least, I would’ve packed some medicine and extra water for you. Y/N, it scared me. Because I didn’t know anything prior to that, I thought something was horribly wrong.”

You felt so guilty. You were beating yourself up over the situation ever since the moment Beomgyu met you at the entrance to your home, frantic. But you had the nerve to simply say that you were fine and went to bed.

“I don’t want an apology, or a promise it’ll never happen again.. Just please tell me what happened.” Beomgyu leaned his head on your shoulder.

You cleared your throat, gathering up the courage to vocalize your troubles, “I don’t think I ate or drank water for 36 hours or so.. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I’m so tired all the time, I’m surprised I have enough in me to drive every day. I thought I could handle another two hours before coming home for dinner but.. I guess not. At least.. At least I know my limit now, yeah?”

It was a poor attempt to lighten the mood, but you were about to suffocate from the energy around you, the guilt combined with the exhaustion really caught up with you during this conversation and you wanted to simply disappear into a black hole. 

Especially with the look Beomgyu was giving you.

“Okay.. Thank you for telling me..” He got up from the couch and walked towards the kitchen.

“What are you doing?”

“Just stay there and pick a movie. I’ll be a minute.”

Still disconcerted, you picked up the nearby remote and looked through a list of movies and shows on your watchlist, ultimately settling on a cheesy-looking family sitcom.

About twenty minutes into the show, Beomgyu joined you on the couch again with two plates and two water bottles.

You looked at the plates and they were simple sandwiches decorated with small flowers, random pieces of heart confetti, and a smiley face drawn with a sharpie on the napkin.

“I can’t force you to eat, or to drink water, or anything like that. It’s wrong and pushy. But I want to encourage you to do those things even when you feel like you might cry while doing so. I refuse to watch you drift away knowing I could’ve been there for you. So this is the best I can offer, Y/N L/N. Eat with me.”

“Eat with me for every meal, whether it’s in person or through FaceTime, if it’s a three course meal or a quick snack. If it’s at the crack of dawn or in the middle of the night. Eat with me, and I’ll convince you to live out your life to the best it can be. Because, my god, Y/N you deserve so much happiness and I want to see you smile every second of every day. But we’ll take it slow, and I’m not going anywhere. Not even if you think I deserve better.”

You had been holding your water bottle the entire time, too teary eyed to properly take a sip and now the droplets from the condensation were sliding down your wrist. Similar to how salty tears were sliding down your cheeks yet again.

You didn’t want to accept the situation at first, this wasn’t how you thought tonight was going to go. Not by a long shot.

But like your boyfriend, who loved you so much, said: You’ll take it slow, force yourself to take pride in the smallest of victories, and watch as you improve.

You didn’t respond with words, you knew you couldn’t in this state, so you leaned against Beomgyu and finally sipped some water. 

You felt a kiss on the top of your head and, “I’m proud of you, love.”

Everything will soon begin to heal. It’s going to be alright. 

One day at a time.

🌱🌱🌱

#this was a vent post ahah #choi beomgyu #beomgyu x reader #beomgyu fluff #beomgyu comfort #txt fluff #txt comfort #tomorrow x together #truetwirls writes #fluff #hurt/comfort

[letters-into-the-endless-void]

Letters to Fabi Alonso #3

July 9, 2022

Hi Fabi! It’s a nice day outside today. I hope you’re doing well.

I still think about how you’d react if you saw these letters. I’ve come to two conclusions. Either you’ll feel disgusted and ignore it, or you’ll come talk to me and ask me to stop, saying it’s incredibly uncomfortable.

Either way, you probably won’t like it. I get that. My last two letters have been especially.... desperate and deranged. I think I’m in a slightly more normal headspace now.

I still think about you everywhere I go. Nearly every half hour I’ll see something that makes me want to tell you, before I remember I can’t, anymore.

Have you seen or heard of the TV series “24 hours”? I watched the first couple episodes yesterday. The most intriguing parts were the ones with the girls. I can’t explain it well. There were a pair of wlws and a pair of friends, and they were so... I think you’d get it if you watched. I think you’d like those parts also.

I also started that novel, taisui. Do you remember? I started it as an escape from history, because history reminded me of you too much. But taisui painfully reminds me of Han Wudi squad, and so it still hurts. The main character reminds me of Huo Qubing, but less murder-y. He even has a cousin who is a prince. But if anything, the cousin is more closer to Wei Qing in personality.

The Pang Jian does have a pretty similar personality to Pang Juan. It’s a fun read, so far.

I remember now, Fabi, I once also had silly dreams I’d take you skiing. I think you should still try and go skiing sometime. It’s fun.

I’m sorry for how much I tried to explain for myself in my first letter. It might seem like I’m pushing all the blame away, and blaming you for leaving me behind. I don’t mean to invalidate your hurt feelings.

I’ve always been an overthinker. I keep thinking, maybe you hate me, maybe you actually never liked me that much, or else how could you leave me behind? I said “Find someone better than me,” and that’s probably me wrongly assuming I actually... meant that much to you.

But that might be rude of me to think. Maybe you did care about me, and so you were all the more hurt when you found out the truth. I can’t imagine. I wish I could imagine how you feel. To talk to someone who you think is a fellow adult only for it to be a lie... Yeah, I can’t imagine what that feels. I hope I could. This is the first time I truly can’t understand one of your emotions.

Are you feeling better? I hope you’re in contact with your other history twitter friends. They must miss you as well.

Today was the day I was supposed to fly out to the military. Not anymore, because after all the events of July 3rd, I was placed under... what is it. Medical limitations? Because I’m already an official member, they’ve evaluated my mental health and decided I wasn’t fit for travel. So now I’m here for the time being. I have no idea what is going on. It’s a bit stressful.

Hey Fabi, you haven’t backed out of the shifei translation document yet. I wonder if I emailed you, would you respond? Probably not. I wouldn’t anyways. I don’t want to throw myself in your face and truly lose all favour. I’d like to keep that part of you with me, for now.

I have so much I want to say to you, but at the same time, I don’t know what to say. Please be well and happy, Fabi. I know you said you won’t be participating in fandom stuff as much anymore. Please still be happy.

What about you drawing for XYCB? I hope you’ll still do that.

Hey Fabi, I love you. I just wanted you to know.

- Your Ex-Zhiji, Avro Lanca

#fabi alonso #letters to fabi alonso 3 #letters to fabi alonso

[thedeskside]

How Burnout Messes With Your Mental Health

Burnout is definitely going around, and chances are you’ve either faced it or have come very close. For those lucky few who may not be sure as to what I’m referring to, burnout (usually associated with work) is when you feel emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted due to chronic stress.

It can be hard to pinpoint where burnout even begins, but it’s so easy to accumulate stress that can lead to burnout. Even during this pandemic, many of us are being told to work from home and keep up with eight-hour workdays, under the extreme stress of the fact that our entire world is being affected by a health crisis. Yes, that alone can be stressful enough, and we are living in it.

It’s far too easy to suggest things to do to get back to normal after facing burnout, but things don’t exactly work that way. You can do all of the things you’re supposed to do to take care of yourself and de-stress and still come face-to-face with burnout.

The Stress of Being Stressed

Just thinking about stress can cause stress. You’d be surprised to know that being stressed isn’t all about negativity. It’s important to look into yourself and what you need in order to take care of yourself. You also need to focus on enhancing your mental well-being because burnout affects our mental health more than you may think.

In case you missed it, even Arianna Huffington admitted to collapsing at work from mental exhaustion and breaking her cheekbone. Could this be you? Honestly, yes, maybe. If you are feeling burnout coming on, and can’t behave proactively to treat it, chances are, you may share a similar story to this.

Burnout can increase depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. It could increase your panic attacks, or even cause them for the first time. It might cause you to feel lost. Yes, it will throw you off. However, as Arianna Huffington has shown us, you can bounce back and come back stronger.

How to Fix It

What can you do to combat burnout? First, take it easy. Why are you putting all of this pressure on yourself? Frankly, it’s only hurting you. Be realistic with your feelings and think about where you are comfortable in your life. Focus on those positive areas.

It’s OK if you need to talk to someone. It’s also OK to ask for help or ask for alone time while sheltering in place. It’s so simple to say, “Hey, we’re all at home doing nothing, so it’s time to do all of the things.” However, we are all under a lot more stress at the moment, and throwing expectations on top of it is very unhelpful.

It’s definitely important to note that you do not have to come out of the quarantine richer, skinnier, smarter—and don’t ever let anyone convince you otherwise. Take this time to do things that make you feel good and help you unwind. Indulge yourself when you have the time and don’t let anyone’s opinions dictate what feels good to you.

The best way to prevent burnout is to be proactive with your self-care. You need to have your own back and make the time to actively care for yourself.

Just a friendly disclaimer and reminder that this content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health providers with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.

This post is adapted from an original post that I created for the Glitter Guide. Want to read the original post on GG? Click the button!

You may also like…

#burnout #mental health #working from home #over working #introvert

[gaysimpsstuff]

Addidentally Injuring Their S/o

Part Two Here

YT Video Here (thanks @vanillaicedlatte-yt)

Genre: a n g s t

Type: Drabble/ Headcannons

Summary: in the heat of an arguement, after a battle, etc., they activate their quirk and Y/n somewhat permanently.

Warnings: gore, blood, fighting/ cursing, crying, burns, toxic relationships, 290 spoilers, endeavor

Other: This was meant to come out yesterday, but shitty mental health got in the way, so yeet. Also, I’m sorry these get worse and worse as they progress, that’s usually how things go for me. This was also inspired by a Tik Tok that I can’t find where Shigaraki accidentally dusts y/n who’s trying to comfort him. It was a Cosplay, if anyone can find it please let me know so I can link it and credit the creator.

Characters: Shigaraki, Dabi, Bakugou, Todoroki

Angst Taglist: @smolchildfangirl @combat-wombatus @mandalorian-baby-bird @waffleareniceandfluffy (let me know if you want to be added to or removed from the taglist)

Tomura Shigaraki

It had started as a great day, a perfect day even. Everyone was listening to him, the league was getting news coverage, people were afraid.

Everything was too perfect.

Something was going to go wrong, he was sure of it.

He hated the way everyone was laughing and joking together, Toga helping Magne do her nails, Spinner playing video games with Twice backstage, and you were chatting with Dabi and Compress about the league’s next moves.

Kuroguri was off doing something or other, and he’d mentioned another ‘follower of All For One.’

But something felt off.

And of course you would notice him.

You were hiding at an abandoned theatre, and he was sitting on the edge of the stage, staring out at the empty audience.

You were with Dabi and Compress in the wings, and glanced away from them towards your boyfriend.

He seemed stressed, scratching at his neck vigorously. You sighed, standing up and heading over to him, sitting beside him.

You placed your hand on top of his spare hand, offering him a soft smile.’

“Hey, baby~” you cooed. “How’s my boyfriend doing?”

He grumbled, yanking his hand away from you. Your theory was correct, he was stressed about something.

He didn’t want to talk to anyone, especially not you. You always tried to comfort him and convince him everything was ‘okay’ even when it wasn’t.

“Go away.” He growled. “I’m trying to think.”

“Thinking about what?” You asked, scooching closer to him.

“None of your fucking business!” He snapped at you, and you flinched away from him.

“Tomura, I was just trying to help-“ you frowned at him. He could be immature and bratty at times he’s, but he usually made sure not to get that way with you.

“I don’t give a shit! I don’t need your damn help!” He stood up, marching over to the wings to head backstage. You followed suit.

Compress and Dabi quickly rushed off the stage when they saw Shigaraki heading towards them. Dabi stopped for a moment next to you, looking at you.

“Good luck with him.” He said, jerking his head towards Shigaraki. You shrugged at him.

Shigaraki overheard Dabi’s notion, anger and distress intensifying. Good luck? Good luck?! What the hell was wrong with him?

Dabi and Compres joined Toga and Magne in the red velvet chairs, Compress requesting that he gets his nails done in orange and black when she finished with Magne’s.

Shigaraki pushed aside the large heavy curtains blocking his way backstage, finding Spinner and Twice huddled near a small TV, an old PvP game loading onscreen

They both looked over their shoulders, staring up at their boss. You quickly darted backstage, crouching next to the ‘gamer boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis’ as they had nicknamed themselves.

“I’m so sorry,” you whispered to them. “He’s in a bit of a mood. I’ll take care of it, okay?”

Did he hear you correctly?

A mood?

You’ll ‘take care of it?’

Of it?

What.

The.

Fuck.

“Say that again, to my fuckung face!” Shigaraki screamed at you. “Tell me I’m just ‘iN a MoOd’ again!!”

You turned to him, eyes wide and scared.

“I’m sorry, Tomura, I didn’t mean it like that- I just didn’t want our friends to worry!”

“They aren’t our fucking friends! They just work for us- they work for me!” He corrected himself.

You stood up, flicking your wrist to motion for Twice and Spinner to leave. They quickly turned off their game and rushed away.

“You might not consider them our friends, but they’re certainly my friends. And I won’t let you scare my friends.” You stood your ground, taking a step towards him.

He scoffed, turning around and marching back onstage. You sighed, following after him, again.

“Please, Tomura talk to me. I’m your partner I want to help you!” You exclaimed. “You’re worrying me, please!”

“Well I don’t want to fucking talk!” He shouted, “and I don’t have to!”

“Please, Tenko!”

“THAT’S NOT MY NAME!”

Red.

He saw red.

His hand flew away from him before he could stop himself, a target missile. It’s destination? Your face.

You lifted your hands instinctively, and he grabbed your wrist, fingers curling around your skin.

In that moment, all he felt was relief. Thank fucking god you’d lifted your arms. It was the one thing that has saved you from him.

You screamed, pain shooting up through you from your arm. Your skin peeled, falling away in tiny fragments of dust.

The dust fell around his fingers, your hand and wrist were completely gone now.

You felt someone pull you backwards, and you saw a glint of silver as Toga quickly severed your arm, blood spilling onto the floor of the stage where the pile of dust that used to be your arm lay.

You fell to your knees, screaming, reaching up and clutching at your elbow- the point of separation- desperately, trying to will your arm back into existence.

“TOMURA!” You shrieked, tears falling down your cheeks. “TOMURA! FIX IT!!”

It was hopeless, you knew there was no way for him to un-dust you. You fell forward, forehead pressed against the floor.

Shigaraki took a step back, glancing at his hand. There were a few speckles of dust resting on his palm. His breath quickened, eyes widening as he cupped his other hand over his mouth.

He stared down at you, Blood staining your shirt as you screamed and cried.

It must have hurt.

He remembered the promise he’d made after you’d started dating, when he’d protected you from some assholes trying to mug you.

“I promise you, I’m going to protect you. Nothing, no one, will lay a hand on you ever again.”

It was a promised meant against anyone who posed a threat to you.

He never meant to become a threat himself.

Touya Todoroki/ Dabi

Some days were always going to be better than others, that’s simply how it works when you’re recovering from trauma.

Today was one of the bad days.

He’d woken up with a thick, heavy, dark feeling in his chest.

He wasn’t even comforted by the warmth your body produced next to him.

Most days he’d roll over and wrap his arm around your body, pulling you close to his body to cuddle you.

This morning however, Dabi rolled away from you and climbed out of bed. You looked over your shoulder at him, confused and slightly hurt. Did you do something to make him upset last night?

You followed after your angsty boyfriend, walking out of the bedroom and down the hall into the kitchen.

He crashed at your apartment a lot, being a villain it was hard to get his own home. You didn’t know where he stayed when he wasn’t at your place.

He grabbed a box of cereal out of the cupboards, pouring himself a bowl. You pulled the milk out of the fridge, handing it to him with a smile.

He scrunched up his nose at your kindness, snatching the carton from your hand and angrily pulling the cap off.

You sighed, nervously pouring yourself a bowl as Dabi started to eat. He didn’t even bother to sit at the table.

“Hey, babe? You okay? You seem kind of... off today.”

Your boyfriend glanced down at you, cerulean eyes seemingly staring right through you.

“M’fine.” He grunted. Your frown tightened.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t believe that.” You shook your head at him.

Dabi glared down at you in annoyance. His scowl deepening. You took a step back, concerned and scared.

“Dabi, please talk to me.” You pleaded with him.

“Uzéndayo.” He grumbled angrily. “Fuck off.”

“Please, you’ll hurt my feelings.” You scoffed sarcastically. “You can talk to me, y’know.”

“Don’t fuckin need to. Leave me alone.”

“Dabi, this is my place. I’m not leaving you alone.”

“Then I’ll leave!” He snapped, brushing past you and leaving his cereal on the counter to sog.

He snatched his jacket off the back of the couch, shrugging it onto his shoulders.

“Seriously, Dabi! What the hell’s going on! Did I do something wrong?”

It pissed him off further to hear you blame yourself. You always thought it was your fault, but it never was.

“Oh shut the fuck up for once! Quit thinking it’s all about you! It’s not always about you!”

“Dabi just fucking talk to me! I’m not letting you leave until you tell me what’s wrong!”

You stepped in front of the door, flinging your arms open to block ilhis exit. He looked you in the eyes, seething.

“Nothing happened!” He shouted “Sometimes I’m just angry for no reason! Get out of my way and I’ll take my anger out on some rando and not on you. Then I’ll come back and we can pretend this never happened.”

“Dabi I won’t let you just kill some innocent person because you’re upset! Just sit with me and we can talk it out and-“

“That’s always your solution! Quit being a wimpy pacifist and move!”

“I’m not a pacifist, I just don’t think you should kill without reason!”

“Well I have a fucking reason!”

“And what’s that?”

“I want to!”

“That’s not a reason!”

“Just get out of my fucking way or I’ll make you!”

“Dabi, just talk to me!”

It was the last thing you said before he grabbed your arm and pulled your body forward to meet his. Your chest pressed against his, his face right in front of yours.

It’d be hot if you weren’t so scared.

“Listen here you little shit,” he growled, low and angry “I’m stronger than you in every fucking way.”

“Dabi?”

“I could kill you in an instant if I so desired.”

“Dabi-“

“Incinerate your filthy annoying ass any day I want, so be fucking grateful for once and watch your damn mouth!”

“Dabi!”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN! I am superior to you in every way, you should be grateful I even share oxygen with you!”

“DABI YOU’RE HURTING ME!”

“I DON’T CARE IF IT HURTS, LISTEN TO ME YOU DIRTY MOTHERFUCKER!” He screamed in your face, eyes wild with unchecked rage.

Tears flowed down your face as you sobbed, indescribable pain was shooting up through your arms.

Dabi’s eyes finally drifted downwards, and he froze, mouth falling slack.

Smoke was billowing off his hands, and his knuckles were white with how hard he was gripping you.

He snapped his hands away from you, curling them into his body as his eyes widened. He took a few steps back.

There were black scorch marks on your body in the shape of his hands. They looked real bad.

“Get out.” You whispered, so soft he couldn’t hear.

“W-what?”

“GET OUT!” You screamed, pointing at the door despite the intense pain in your arms. “GET OUT OR I’M CALLING THE POLICE!”

“B-baby I’m sorry!” He shouted “I didn’t mean to, I promise!”

“I DON’T GIVE A SHIT! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOME BEFORE I TURN YOU IN!”

Dabi stumbled past you, quickly rushing out of your apartment and shutting the door behind him.

His back was pressed against the wood as he slid down, covering his face as he listened to your sobs on the other side, hearing your footsteps fade into the bathroom, probably to run cold water on your skin.

For a moment, all the could think about was the cereal on the counter, getting soggy.

“Fuck.” He muttered, eyes burning as they tried to produce tears without his tear ducts.

“I’m so fucking sorry.”

Shoto Todoroki

Shit wrong emo scar boy with daddy issues, fire powers, and an evil older sibling with blue fire

There we go

It was a shitty day. 

Well, most days were shitty days, but today was shittier than usual. 

A home visit, Endeavor trying to act like he was ‘upset about everything that happened,’ and pretending he was the victim in the situation.

It would be enough to set anyone on edge, especially Shouto. 

So it wasn’t much of a surprise when he returned to the dorms with a deep frown on his face.

Even when Midoriya, Iida, and Uraraka tried to talk to him, he still seemed angry the whole time. There was really only one thing that should be able to cheer him up. Let’s hope you do your job well.

“Knock knock~ Shouto it’s me!” you stood on the outside of Shouto’s dorm. You knew Shouto must be stressed, so you’d gotten him some brownies from the sweets cupboard, Sato’s locks were easy to pick.

“I don’t want to fucking talk.” his response was blunt, clearly annoyed that you’d bothered his brooding. “Go away.”

You sighed, he could act like such a child sometimes!

“Shouto, I just want to cheer you up! Let me in, babe.” a moment later, he swung the door open, am annoyed glare on his face. You smiled sweetly at him, handing him the plate of brownies. His hands remained in his pockets, glancing down at the brownies then back up at you.

“Um... can I come in?” you asked quietly. He shrugged, stepping aside to let you in. You stepped past him, sitting on the edge of the platform bed, setting the brownies on the nightstand. 

Shouto closed the door behind him, turning to face you.

“Do... do you want to talk about it?” Shouto huffed, shaking his head and looking away from you.

“Do I look like I want to talk?” he snapped. You flinched, his tone was harsh.

“Shouto I just want to help, you don’t need to be rude.”

“I don’t give a shit if I’m being ‘rude.’“ He growled, arms crossed. 

His eyes stared coldly at you. Yeah, he was definetly upset.

“That’s okay, we can chat about something else. Oh, Sato probably needs to change the lock on the sweets cupboard, I kinda broke it getting you these brownies!” you looked up at him, smile faltering as he looked down his nose at you. “Are... are you mad at me?”

“Wow, you just noticed that.” he rolled his eyes. “I told you to go away but you didn’t.”

“I-I’m sorry, I was just really worried about you. You’re my boyfriend and I love you, I don’t like seeing you upset.”

“Then maybe you should try fucking listening to me for once. If I don’t want to talk, then you can’t make me talk.” You nodded, apologizing again.

“Oh my god shut the fuck up!” he shouted. “You’re always talking, always apologizing, you’re getting on my fucking nerves!”

“Okay!” you stood up quickly, lifting your hands defensively. “I’ll just leave!”

You brushed past him on your way to the door, hesitating on the handle. You glanced over your shoulder at him.

“Would you fucking stop with the pity?” you looked at the ground, not saying anything.

You heard the slap before you felt it.

The sting shot through your face, and you could hear Shouto shouting at you, but it was muffled. You didn’t know what he was saying. 

You lifted your hand to your cheek, hissing in pain. He didn’t just slap you,

He used his fire.

You choked on your words, turning to look at your boyfriend with tear-filled eyes.

Shouto was looking at you with a look of sheer horror on his face.

“I’m sorry...” you whimpered. “I’m going-” you slipped out the door, ignoring Shouto’s shout for you to turn back and talk to him

That it was an accident.

That he didn’t mean it.

That didn’t matter.

Katsuki Bakugou/ Dynamight

Fuck Icy-Hot. 

Fuck. Him.

He said he’d gotten stronger since the Summer Camp, but he hadn’t at all.

He was still loosing to Todoroki, and no matter how hard he was working, he still kept loosing to him.

His hand was buried in his hair, tugging harshly every so often as he listened to you ramble about something that happened during your work study.

Even you were getting ahead of him, his own partner was getting stronger than him. He’d promised he’d protect you, but that would be useless if you kept improving faster than him.

“Then afterwords, FatGum took me, Kirishima, and Amajiki to this resturaunt, and the owner turned out to be a huge fan of FatGum, she gave us free desert! Oh my gosh the cake was so good!” you exclaimed, laughing a little.

Bakugou grumbled under his breath a little, keeping his eyes away from your estatic face. 

“Great.” you glanced back to your boyfriend from where you sat at your desk, eyebrows furroring. Usually, Katsuki would give you one of those proud smirks all like ‘that’s my partner,’ but today he seemed upset.

“You alright, Katsuki? Was your provisional licence class stressful today?” you asked sympathetically, moving your hand towards him to comfort him. 

He yanked his hand away from you, shooting you a pissed off look.

“Fuck no.” he growled. “Even if it was, I can handle it. I don’t need your damn help.” you rested your hand on your lap.

“I know, Katsuki. My boyfriend’s so strong!” you smiled brightly at him. Usually complimenting him would make him feel better, but today it seemed to only piss him off more.

“Shut up.” he hunched over, curling into himself more. He pulled one leg up to his chest, holding it under his knee. 

“Uh.. are you sure you’re okay?” you asked, cocking your head to the side gently.

“I’m fucking fine!” He snapped, keeping his eyes anywhere but on you. “I don’t need your pity!”

“Pity? Katsuki I’m not pitying you, I’m worried for you. You’re my boyfriend and I want you to be happy so-”

“Didn’t I say to shut up?” he stood up, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Don’t give me your worry, fight me instead!”

“Why the hell would I fight you, Katsuki? I already know you’re stronger than me!”

“Fucking how? You got that new work study you’re constantntly talking about! How haven’t you gotten stronger than me?”

“Is that what this is about? I’ve only been at my work study for a few days, how in the world could I have leaped leagues in that amount of time to reach your level?”

“Then why even join that stupid work study if you’re not getting stronger?”

“I am getting stronger, just not fast enough to be at your level that quickly!” you explained. “Sorry?”

“Ugh just shut the fuck up!” he shouted, storming out of your dorm and down the hall to the common room. There were a only a few people in there,

Yao-Momo and Jirou in the kitchen, Kirishima and Kaminari on the couches, and Sero was leaning over the back of the couch. They all looked up when Bakugou stormed in with you on his tail.

“Katsuki, you’re confusing me! What’s going on? How can I help? Is it something I did?” 

“Just leave me alone, okay? Go away!” he shouted over his shoulder. Kaminari, Kirishima, Sero, Jirou, and Yaoyorazu all snapped their heads towards you and Bakugou.

“Katsuki, please! You’re scaring me!” you glanced over at your friends, Jirou and Yao-Momo glancing between each other and muttering. 

“Yo, Kachan, the hell’s going on between you and Y/n?” Kaminari asked, standing up. Sero hissed at him to sit down if he wanted to keep his head.

“I’m sorry, Kaminari, Bakugou’s upset and I don’t know why-”

“Don’t know why? Quit it with the lies! I hate liars!”

“I-I’m not lying! I really don’t know!” you reached forward, latching your hand onto his wrist. “Please just talk to me!”

“BULLSHIT!” he snapped his hand away from yours. “You’re a fucking liar!”

“Bakubro, calm down!” Kirishima stood up, briskly walking over to the two of you. 

“STAY OUT OF THIS!” Bakugou slammed his palm against Kirishima’s face, setting off a small explosion.

“KIRISHIMA!” You ran to his side as the smoke cleared, finding his face hardened.

“I’m okay, I’m okay!” he assured you. He offered you a small smile, suddenly, he yelped and ducked, avoiding another hit from Bakugou.

“LET GO OF THEM!” he shouted, and his hand sparked twice before setting off again. This time right next to your face.

You hit the ground first, then felt stinging pain across your face and shoulder.

You didn’t even hear your own screaming because of the fact that he blew up your ears.

You didn’t register Kirishima picking you up, or Bakugou staring after you in fear, or the others in the room scolding Bakugou or worrying about you.

All you knew in that moment was pain.

Pure, white hot, agonizing pain.

#bnha #mha #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha angst #mha angst #angst train #dabi angst #dabi x reader #todoroki angst #todoroki x reader #bakugou angst #bakugou x reader #shigaraki angst #shigaraki x reader #poc reader #male reader #trans reader #gender neutral reader

[fkingsteverogers]

This Feels Like Falling In Love

Summary: Talking to your husband has never been your strong suit. 

Word Count: 1.6k

Featuring: two idiots In Love who don’t know it, Bruce Wayne is charming and very horny actually, PR relationships, questionable changes in POV, and questionable titles

Tagging: @clints-lucky-arrow bc they were supportive 

“—the mental health of my late mother-in-law was, and continues to be, the business of nobody but the Wayne Family, her loved ones, and her health care team. The fact it is being sensationalized is disgraceful.” 

“Dr. Wayne, can you—“ the tv snaps off before the reporter can finish her sentence. “Thought you might watch.” Bruce turns to see you, dressed elegantly and holding a tray of food. You’re the only person besides Alfred who can actually sneak up on him. It’s part of why he picked you from the long list of marriage candidates the Wayne Enterprises PR team gave him. That and the fact that you’re so beautiful it actually hurts. 

Why you agreed to marry him he’ll never understand. It’s not about the money, you make enough as Gotham's environmental consultant. And it can’t be his sparkling personality. 

“Dory was just bringing up some sandwiches. I told her I would do it. I think she thinks we’re going to fuck because she’s vacuuming the spotless downstairs instead of polishing the banister outside.” Bruce smiles, actually smiles, and picks up a sandwich from the tray you set down. You perch yourself on the arm of his desk chair, dangerously close to sitting in his lap. Your proximity makes his skin ripple with electricity. He wants to reach out and touch you, to feel your creamy soft skin under his fingertips. 

He wants to hear you gasp and moan as he thrusts into you. 

“Bruce? Are you listening?” Your question shakes him out of his fantasies. “…no.” You make an annoyed little huff and frown down at him. It would be so easy to just reach up and pull you down into his lap, to feel you pressed against him. It’d be so easy to slip a hand between your legs and…shit, he got distracted again.

 “I asked you how you’re feeling about…” you trail off and gesture towards the now black tv. He shrugs and takes a bite of his sandwich. In truth, the things they’re saying about his parents makes his blood boil. It makes him want to storm into the studio and beat up the reporters. Instead of admitting that he goes for a neutral: “I’m happy you’re dealing with it.” 

You shrug and take a sandwich. “It’s what you hired me for, is it not?” It’s Bruce’s turn to frown at you. “Don’t make that face at me, Alfred hired me to be your wife. I’m doing my job.” The way you nonchalantly mention that you’re not really his wife knocks the air out of Bruce’s lungs. Legally speaking, you are married. A little over a year and a half ago you’d become Dr. Wayne in a large ceremony neither of you really wanted. Someone had to Keep Up Appearances and he couldn’t be bothered. 

“Don’t do that.” 

You hadn’t meant to sneak up on Bruce, truly. You’d meant to knock before you heard your own voice. The anger had washed over you and before you could contemplate politeness, the tv was off and you were staring at Bruce. You’re always a little shocked by how pretty he is when you see him for the first time in a long time. His intense, intelligent eyes always surprise you. You always get the impression he’s looking straight into your soul. Would he like what he sees? 

You set down the tray, it’s sliver because of course it fucking is, in the middle of your explanation. You watch Bruce’s eyes glaze over. With anyone else, you’d be offended if they stopped listening mid sentence. Bruce is different, Bruce is out of practice with human interaction. His explanation (or lack of) of his feelings might as well require a translation. Good thing you’re fluent in all things Bruce Wayne. Instead of piecing out exactly what he’s feeling about this revelation, you goad him. 

The fact that W.E. PR arranged your marriage bothers him. It bothers him even more when you remind him of this fact. “Don’t do what, Bruce? Remind you of the truth? Remind you I’m no better than the working girls at the Iceberg?” What exactly you want out of this conversation is a mystery to even you. Why you’re furious at him is also a mystery. His eyes flare at your comment, his anger clear. “You know I didn’t ask them to find me a wife.” His tone is dark with undercurrents of his true anger. You shouldn’t push him any further. 

You do.

“And yet you’re happy to let me manage the Wayne legacy. You’re happy to take me to bed and fuck me like I’m your wife.” 

The storm that rushes over Bruce’s face makes it clear you pushed too far. “You are my wife.” “Only when you need me, Bruce.” Being this close to him is suddenly too much. The space between your arms sparkles with electricity and if you don’t get out of there, you’re going to let him bend you over the desk. You stand a little too quickly in your rush to get a safe distance away and almost topple over into his lap. His hand on your elbow steadies you. Sparks rush up your arm and it only makes you angrier, irrationally angry. You rip your arm away from him and manage to throw yourself more off balance. Before you can fall to the floor, Bruce catches you in a perfect dip.  

It’s a romance novel worthy scene, you in the arms of your husband, caught mid fall during a heated argument. In the romance novel, you’d look up at him, your anger forgotten. He’d look down at you, concern evident in his face. A moment of silence would pass before he would bend to kiss you and any anger either of you had would be forgotten for the passion of kissing the man you love. 

Instead, you stomp on his foot and he drops you. 

Thankfully, you’d chosen to make your little scene on the rug so you don’t hit the hard stone floor of his bedroom. Bruce looks down at you, betrayed by your assault. You look up at him, defiant from your place on the floor. The ensuing starting contest feels like it lasts forever. You break first. “I’m sorry.” He frowns down at you and holds out a hand. “Don’t apologize, you did a good thing.” You take his hand and he pulls you up. There’s a moment where you two just look at each other, still holding hands, before he clarifies. “Defending my mother, I mean. Thank you.” You shake your head in disgust and drop his hand like it’s scolding. “Your father basically had someone killed and all anyone cares about is your mother’s mental health.” You’re muttering more to yourself than talking to him. Thankfully Bruce doesn’t comment as he sits back down. You sit down in the chair across from him. It’s a safe distance away and you feel like you can breathe, “I don’t regret saying yes, Bruce. I do not regret becoming your wife. I just…” you trail off. You wish it had been Bruce’s choice. You wish you had been Bruce’s choice. You wish he really loved you, you wish you could be Dr. Wayne in more than name only. 

Instead of actually talking about your feelings, you blurt out what you’d come here to tell him about in the first place. “They told me I should get pregnant, you know.” His head snaps up and anger rushes back across his face. “I went to our quarterly meeting with the PR team, you missed it by the way, and they said I should get pregnant. If we conceive in the next two months we can feasibly announce on our second wedding anniversary and the baby will be born around your father’s birthday. Even better if we have a boy and name him Thomas Wayne II.” 

Bruce, as usual, says nothing. You fidget in the silence. Would having a baby with you be that bad? “I told them we could adopt a circus kid or something and they just looked at me like I was crazy.” Your suggestion makes him snort. A few agonizing moments pass in silence. With your anger done, you’re suddenly exhausted. “I should go, I’m sure you have other things to do…” 

“Stay.” The word stops you in your tracks. It’s more commanding than he’d prefer but it has its intended effect. “I’d like you to stay.” 

You give him a curious look. “And do what, exactly?” 

“I would like to…talk.” You laugh and the sound goes right to his cock. He’d been behaving himself, thinking of designs for his suit to prevent getting embarrassingly hard from just having you there. Your laughter makes it impossible for him to behave himself. “Bruce, this is the most you’ve said to me in six months.” You pick up the umbrella you’d laid on the bed and shrug on your coat. “You don’t talk. We don’t talk. You come over, we fuck, and you disappear.” Before you can turn and open the door, he grabs your umbrella and lays it back on the bed. He gently slides the coat off your shoulders, pressing kisses to the newly exposed skin. “Then dance with me.” 

You laugh again but it’s shakier, less sure. “Dance? There’s no music.” Bruce reluctantly lets go of you and crosses the room to turn on a record player that had been his father’s. He can feel your eyes on him and it makes heat bloom across his cheeks. “Bruce…” He pulls you flush against him, one hand resting respectfully on the small of your back and the other clasped in your much smaller hand. Your arms tentatively wrap around his neck and he can feel your ring resting against his neck. The two of you sway gently as the music plays. 

You’re too wrapped up in your own world to notice when Alfred opens the door and leaves without a word.

#bruce wayne x reader #the batman x reader #I have several other ideas for them and I love them so much so please like this #sara writes #dr. wayne

[wizkiddx]

your voice

angsty vibe, requested by @hollandlover19 than you for th rq and hop this doesn't disappoint too much :)))

summary: tom says something so stupid and has to deal with the consquences

warnings: a bit angsty, but ends in fluff! argumnts and raising voices, I guess could be associated with panic attacks tho not written with that intention

//////////////////////////////////

“Oh, Y/n er sorry.” Harrisons morning dulcet tones were what you were awoken to with a groan.

Everything was achy, and your head was pounding, making you grumble in discontent as you shifted uncomfortably on the technically too-small-to-sleep-on sofa.

This was not the morning you’d foreseen even 12 hours ago.

Lockdown had been difficult for everyone, even removing the tragic health crisis. Being locked in with your boyfriend and his brothers and friends was, for the most part, amazing. Lots of laughs, lots of beers and lots of quality time that you usually didn’t get. But it was also intense.

Without a doubt, since you first got together, this was the longest time you’d ever had with Tom. And it had been brilliant, your relationship getting so much closer and just learning the subtlest intricacies about the other. In fact, when lockdown had been announced, you’d never lived together (the most a week-long holiday).

Though it was also like a pressure cooker, Toms rented house. When one of you were in an understandable but stubborn lousy mood, it affected the whole house.

Yesterday night had been the perfect storm. The weather was unbelievably scorching; your work had announced that they had to let some staff go because of the financial implications of the pandemic; a ‘mole’ had released personal details of your relationship.

And it was like a pot on the stove; everything went from controllable to violently boiling over in a matter of minutes.

Honestly, you didn’t even know why you had started arguing - it was that pathetic. And yet you’d both said pretty horrible stuff - though it was Tom who had crossed the line. Frankly, the way he’d spoken to you was almost unforgivable.

You’d both known instantly too, all his anger at you had immediately evaporated when he’d realised what he had said. It took no time for him to become a grovelling apologetic mess, however even that- it was already too late.

It might sound feeble, but honestly, you’d run and locked yourself in the downstairs loo. You’d cried on the inside- whilst from the other side of the door, he had been begging and pleading with you.

After an hour though, Tom finally gave up - hence why you’d had a pretty uncomfortable night on the sofa.

This brings it back to Harrison, the early riser of the house, barrelling into the living room after his morning run. All bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, except also slightly terrified looking as he stood awkwardly in the doorway.

“I’m up now” You sighed, dragging yourself into a sitting position on the sofa whilst massaging your crooked neck.

“You er…. you fell asleep watching the TV?” Rolling your eyes, you sighed at the blonde, even if his poor acting was a little entertaining.

“Are we both pretending that you don’t know what went down last night?” Of course, Harrison knew. The walls were thin, you’d been screaming and he was Tom’s best friend. No doubt, Tom had immediately gone to him for help and advice last night.

Harrison held his hands up in response, caught in the act, and clicked his tongue. “What he said was bad. You shouldn’t be the one ending up with the sore back.” He wasn’t wrong.

“And yet here I am…” With a sigh you smiled which he returned with a sickeningly empathetic one “Anyway, don’t let my sad self get in the way, did you come in here for anything?”

Now, because Harrison was mentally a five year old, that’s how you ended up sat crossed-legged on the floor, clutching a wii remote and angrily shouting at yoshi on the mariokart screen. The whole household was competitive as hell and you were no exception - so some rouge elbows were flying when he viciously knocked you off the track.

Slowly Harry and Tuwaine filtered in and picked up remotes too, so the quiet morning was very quickly switched into a tense atmosphere of yelps and shouts. None more so than Tuwaine, who was possibly the worst looser you had ever met.

Really, you knew all the boys were only doing this as there way of showing you they were with you. That they also thought Tom was a massive raging dickhead. And you appreciated it more than they would ever know. Locked down in Toms house, very much not mutual ground, having three stupid boys behind you meant everything.

Just as you got on to the 18th and final race of the house’s mario grand prix, another voice cut across the tense silence as you waited for the coutdown to turn into ‘go’. Naturally, you flipped round to see Tom, looking as though he literally just rolled out of bed with puffy eyes and messy hair and no top. The sight made your heart flutter, to the point you had to consciously check yourself - refusing to smile softly at him like you usually would, instead narrowing your eyebrows and looking back at the TV.

Tom had so desperately hoped that when he came down this morning, everything would be better. That all it’d take would be a quiet conversation for the two of you to make up - for him to have you in his arms again. Primarily as he had heard your excited laugh echoing through the halls in reactions to Tuwaines yelps of protests - it made him hopeful. Waking up to a cold and empty bed was almost soul-crushing this morning. He did not want it to ever happen again.

Which is why his heart sank so much when all you gave him was a scolding look, before turning your attention to the TV. Admittedly, he was naive to think that what he’d done last night would be an easy fix - he knew it too. So with dropping shoulders, Tom silently took a seat on the sofa, watching from afar. You spent the rest of the race more absent, not joining in with the Harrison or Harrys trash-talking, acutely aware of Tom’s eyes burning the back of your head.

Then came Harry’s celebrations as the overall winner (only just) and when Harrison suggested another game Tom piped up again.

“Give me a turn Harry.”

The three boys kneeling next to you all stiffened, looking immediately to you for what seemed like consent - as if they were engaging with the enemy. (At least it was good to know everyone was on your side).

“I’m gonna go prepare for my meeting anyway.” You spoke quietly, already placing the remote on the floor and standing up.

“Y/n I don’t mind swappin-“

“No. Thanks, H but no.” You weren’t being selfless and giving Tom a turn. You were running away from seeing him.

And Harrison was still really angry at Tom. He’d been so selfish and insensitive and had hurt you- someone who Haz also cared a lot about too. Yes Tom was his bestmate, that he’d grown up with and known for years - but Haz really liked you too, in fact all the boys did. So they were almost as pissed with Tom as you were.

So while you threw the cushion you were sat on back on the floor, Harrison shot Tom the filthiest look and practically shooed him away.

“come on Y/n … just one more? Then you can do your boring work.” You were about to refuse when Haz tilted his head toward the door, only then noticing that Tom had slipped out the room. Now that he was gone ,yes, just one more wouldn’t hurt. The meeting prep wasn’t time pressured; it was an excuse for an escape.

Tuwaine whooped a little when you nodded, planting back down and ready for the first race. Yet apart from that, the room was still a little awkward, you being the first to break the silence.

“Actually Haz, would you mind giving me a lift today?”

“What to the shops?

“Um no not quite.” Tuwaine laughed in his usual innocent and infectious style before asking more.

“Seriously? You know we’re locked down? Boris won’t be happy if you going mad and leaving the house.”

“Just to Y/f/n’s. She lives on her own so it’s legal.”

“She lives just down the road right? Can’t you walk?” Harry was confused, making him look away from the screen, ultimately leading to his ‘diddykong’ falling off the track.

“I’ll have my bags. I um… I think I’m going to stay with her till lockdown eases more.”

As soon as you said that, Harry pressed pause on the race, all three boys looking at you mouth-opened.

“For real?”

“Yeh I um… think me and Tom need some time apart and being locked in isn’t helping.”

“I’m not saying to forgive and forget what he said… but he is really sorry.”

“The twats literally kicking himself.” Tuwaine added, making you smile a little for calling Tom that.

“I know just… I need some space and-“

“Are you breaking up?” Harry almost announced, cutting you off. He would miss you too.

“No! Nono I … well I don’t know. I just- we both need this.”

The boys all nodded, looking at the floor for a moment before Harrison’s blue eyes were back on you.

“Course I’ll drive, but… but I’ll miss you.”

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

You’d left merely an hour later, whilst Tom was holed up in the garden doing what looked like an almost unbearable work out. It meant he was also out your hair and you could throw all your stuff into two suitcases without him being any the wiser. It was probably pretty cowardly to leave without speaking to him, but you couldn’t. It would hurt too much and you didn’t want to break down in front of him. No doubt as soon as you had got to Y/f/n you did - into a blubbering mess of tears - but Tom hadn’t seen so it was okay.

Speaking of. Tom.

Tom was not in a good way at all. He’d been trying really hard to curb his’ short fuse’ lately- all of which had been well and truly blown in the past 4 hours. After finally being realised from meetings, which he’d not been able to concentrate on anyway, Tom had mentally prepared himself for a lot of grovelling. Once he’d vaguely hunted the house and not found you there, he naturally asked Harry and Tuwaine (both of whom were in the living room) if they’d seen you around.

It was a typical question, the answer he was expecting was that you’d just gone on your daily walk. And yet the response he got was… well a lot more confusing. Harry’s eyes widened whilst T did his awkward-uncomfortable chuckle, the two locked in an intense bout of eye contact. It was as though they were arguing with each, but through the powers of telekinesis... and it put Tom on edge. He was already stressed because you were so angry with him, so not getting a clear answer out of his brother and best mate - lets just say it tested his patience.

“You two need to tell me what the hell is going on right now.”

The two boys both looked panicked to speak to him, which was the opposite of the usual situation. They were some of the ONLY people in his life that would just say it how it is, no sugar coating. Like if he was away and being ‘famous’ was getting to his head; or if he wore the wrong pair of jeans. Even yesterday evenings events, they’d both called him out on what he’d said to you.

So why the silence?

Eventually, it was Harry who spoke up, but in doing so, practically just waved all responsibility on to another innocent party.

“Ask Haz.”

And then Tom knew. He knew this was bad. Immediately his heart was pumping at an alarmingly fast rate, taking the stairs two at a time and not bothering to knock before bursting the door open.

“Where’s Y/n?”

Harrison was reclined back on his haphazardly made bed, laptop balanced on his lap as he looked up with a sigh. He’d known this conversation was coming, but it didn’t make it any less easy. With a sigh, Haz closed the lid of his MacBook and sat up on the bed.

“Tom just-“

“Where. Is. She.”

“She’s gone to Y/f/n’s.”

“Oh… okay.” Suddenly Tom’s voice was muted, thinking he might’ve blown his top at nothing. This wasn’t weird - Y/f/n was in your support bubble and you went to hers often.

Tom was grossly underestimating the situation - and Harrison heard didn’t fancy stringing him along though.

“No like gone. She um… she took all her stuff. I think she’s going to stay there till-“

Tom was already out his room at that point, slamming the door as he did so. Making a beeline for his own room, Tom then frantically started to pull out the draws and rummage around the shelves, confirming what he already knew. Your clothes were gone, your toothbrush and toiletries were gone, you were gone.

It’s important to note Tom didn’t really cry all that much. Or if he did - it was more inconsequential, at a sad movie or one of the rescue dog stories from battersea. Actually, when it came down to it, he didn’t really cry.

Now though, it was impossible to ignore the burning of his eyes, as he sank down onto the bed that now felt twice the size. With ragged breath, he repeatedly fisted his eyes, not actually letting the tears fall - but it was impossible to not acknowledge their presence. Harrison stood wordlessly at the door frame, knowing it best not to interrupt - whilst at the same time knowing Tom shouldn’t be left alone. There was a delicate balance between the two, which he was walking on a knife-edge on right now.

After a short while, Tom looked up with red eyes and nodded at Harrison, effectively granting him entrance. With a sigh once again, Haz moved and sat next to Tom on the bed, clasping his hands together nervously.

“She said you both just needed a break from each other. Think lockdown and everything was just a bit too intense.” Haz had tried to explain, yet it seemed Tom had only managed to lock onto one of the first words.

“A break? Or breaking up?”

“I uhm… she didn’t explicitly say ending things. But I just… I don’t know to be honest mate.”

“You see the way she looked at me this morning? Like she hated me. Wouldn’t even acknowledge that I was there.”

“I don’t know what to say… she needs time and space I think.” Tom was silent for a beat, shaking his head as he cradled his forehead.

“I hate the fact you and my girlfriend are on better terms than I am.” Anddd his voice was back to scathing.

“I’m not on anyones side. But your both my friends and she… she needed some time.”

With that, Harrison made a quick exit out, getting Harry to take over the Tom supervision.

Ever since the atmosphere in the house had been tense. To say Tom was highly strung was an understatement, particularly towards Harrison. Deep down he was thankful Haz was looking out for Y/n: he was glad that Haz was checking she was okay. It’s not like Tom could, because Y/n was refusing to answer his calls, texts, whatsapps, even the slip of paper he’d slipped under Y/f/n’s door in the middle of an especially dark night.

So it was good to know Y/n was okay, but the fact she was going on socially distanced walks with the rest of his housemates was rubbing salt in the wound.

After a week and a half of complete radio silence on your end Tom had utterly worn down. He didn’t have the emotional capacity to be angry anymore, he was just tired. Tired of missing you with every breath, tired of the ten-tonne weight of guilt pressing on his chest, fucking exhausted with being angry at Haz and Harry and Tuwaine.

The best thing in his life and one of the very limited opportunities was quality time with the people he loved more than anything else. He had ruined it all.

And it was the small things. It was waking up to your soft, whispered voice in the morning; it was your infectious giggle when he surprised you with a hug from behind and gentle kisses to your neck; it was your quiet singing in the shower. Especially when he knew Haz, Harry and Tuwaine were all still seeing you and laughing with you. It hurt like hell.

Which is how he ended up hesitantly knocking on Harrison’s bedroom door at half eleven at night, with his tail between his legs. Having been so uber-healthy all lockdown, Haz was already in bed following his sleep cycle, though for Tom right now- he would be awake.

“I’m um… I’m sorry I’ve been a knob. There’s no excuse of anything I’ve just… I’ve been a knob.”

“You’re not wrong.” Harrison nodded in agreement with a sly smile, motioning for Tom to come into the room, after which he perched on the edge of the bed.

“I just… I need to speak to her but I… I don’t want to push her if she’s still hurting and I…”

“You absolutely promise not to blow your fuse? Because she couldn’t handle that.” Tom’s eyes widened, thinking this would be a much harder pitch than how it seemed to be going.

“Yesyesyes i- I promise. I just, I feel broken you know? Even if all I get is the time to say sorry, I-I really need to.”

Harrison released a deep breath, nodding slowly before throwing the covers off himself. Tom watched all his movements with a curious gaze, silently sitting as Haz pulled on a hoodie, then socks too.

“Well? Let’s go.”

//////////////////

Now, what Tom had not in the slightest bit been prepared for was this to happen tonight. Really, he hadn’t even thought Harrison would agree to let him talk to you… and even if he had, Tom not in hell thought it’d be at 11:30 that evening.

His heart was thundering in his chest, trying to hurriedly script how on earth he was going to apologise meaningfully to you - as him and Haz walked the short distance to your friends house. Honestly the whole situation was peculiar to Tom - finding it hard to believe that if you weren’t to answer his texts you wouldn’t be open to an in person conversation.

What Tom didn’t know, was how you’d been texting Haz at a similar point of desperation. You weren’t happy and even given everything Tom had said and acted - you missed your boy. No matter how infuriating he could be when trapped 24/7 - you’d quickly learnt this was the only way you wanted to spend these weird times.

So yes, Tom’s best friend knew you were hardly sleeping either, but needed that little push to interact with you boyfriend. No doubt, you’d still be awake to answer the door.

Once he’d arrived at the apartment block and walked up the stairs to the right floor, it still took some prodding and pushing from Harrison to get Tom to knock on the door. Plainly, because he was shitting himself. Haz hadn’t given him enough pre warning, enough time to work it all out in his head. So it took another encouraging nod from Harrison for him to knock on the slightly rough-round-the-edges flat door.

Y/f/n was single and young, starting her career in Kingston - so the flat she could afford was modest at best. When it was just occupied by a single person, that was manageable - two was a push. You’d only been living with her for a week and a few days but it was enough to know this flat was not ideal for two people in lockdown. You were already stepping on each others toes. It also wasn’t technically legal to move households but Y/f/n had always been in your support bubble as a single household otherwise. And so there was also a layer of guilt to it all.

Naturally then, sharing a bed with someone who wasn’t Tom meant you just were not sleeping. Even if you had both gone to bed early (just to kill some hours in the day) you were still wide awake at quarter to twelve - when a timid knock echoed through the minuscule apartment. Curiosity peaked at who the hell would be calling now; you silently slipped out of bed, managing to not disturb Y/f/n, and closed the bedroom door.

Now you weren’t an idiot. Even though this was southwest london, hardly the capital for crime, Y/f/n lived in a dodgy building with some questionable characters. And it was midnight. Hence why you approached the situation cautiously, tiptoeing to the door and waiting with your ear pressed against the wood.

“I told you she wouldn’t answer!”

“She will! Might just be in the loo or something.”

“Haz this is stupid-“

The air in your chest froze when you immediately recognised the smooth tone of his voice. It was him… and you’d missed that so much. Already there were tears in your eyes and you couldn’t open the door just yet. So no, instead you slid down the doorframe before calling quietly out into the night.

“Tom?”

The bickering on the otherside of the door was silenced, but you heard a quite tap on the door... and could envision exactly what was going on. Tom, pressing both palms and his ear to the door, as Harrison took a few steps back - sensing his work was done.

“Y/n? You there?” He sounded desperate, you could hear the emotion dripping off his voice. It was only when you tried to reply did you realise your own voice was having a harder time speaking.

“Yeh its-its me.” It felt as though this heavyweight that had been pressing down on your chest was slowly lifting, making your voice all cracky and low.

In response, there was a short and sharp exhale. It sounded relieved before some fidgeting as you imagined him crouching down beside the door - mirroring your image.

“Fuck, it… it feels so good to hear your voice.”

“Yours too… I’ve-i’ve missed you.”

Tom snorted at that, a gentle bang allowing you to realise he’d just whacked his head on the back of the wood.

“You have no idea how this week felt.” He was wrong though, you did.

Yes, maybe without the insurmountable guilt that Tom was rightfully feeling, but it didn’t mean that the time apart wasn’t easy.

“I do. This hasn’t been a nice holiday for me you know?”

He sighed, knowing that yet again he’d said the wrong thing. This time though, he didn’t rebut instantly (which surprised you), instead his response was more measured and calculated.

“I am so sorry. And of course, I know because I was the one that hurt you too. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive myself for that.” You nodded but given this conversation was happening through a door Tom didn’t see your gentle agreement - opting to fill the silence.

“I um… I’m not good at this whole um… speaking my feelings. But I’ve hated myself ever since I picked that fight with you. It was stupid and uh it-it was all my fault. I’m so so sorry for hurting you.”

“‘Why?” You tried to ask, except the words were stuck in your throat, making you have to clear it before asking again. “Why did you say it?”

“To get a rise out of you. It’s stupid and petty and fucking-fucking dumb. I said it not because I’ve ever thought it, I never ever have, but I knew it’d hurt you. I was preying on your insecurities because I was angry at the world and that was so unfair. “

“No shit.”

Silence reigned as you fiddled with your fingers - specifically with the promise ring he’d bought you a year ago.

“You-you think you could ever forgive me?”

“Thats the annoying part. I want to hate you because you literally stabbed me then twisted the knife but… but all I’ve done this week is miss you. Even when I saw Haz or Harry or Tuwaine. I just fucking missed you.”

“Can you open the door please love?”

Clumsily you scrubbed the tear tracks off your face, scrabbling to your feet so you could thrust open the doors. Because you might still be bloody pissed at him, but at the same time - you needed your Tom. Thrusting the door open, the first thing you registered was being pressed into Tom’s chest. His arms slinked around your waist and held him tight, which you reciprocated, squeezing tightly round his neck. Your senses were all being assaulted by one thing and one thing only. Tom.

He smelt like usual, except maybe the slightest bit stronger than usual - you figured he hadn’t showered in a day or two or bothered with cologne. The top of your forehead was pressed up against his chin, and as he readjusted his grip on you, you felt the scratchy feeling of his unshaven stubble. He kept whispering apologies against the top of your head, almost desperate and religiously.

Arching back, you brought both hands to cup his cheeks, looking into his glassy brown. eyes, which looked so lost and confused.

“I’m still angry.”

“Of course-“

“I’m still angry but I’m going to kiss you okay?”

Safe to say Tom didn’t require a verbal response, taking it upon himself to nudge his lips against yours, yet waiting for you to initiate the kiss. And that you did, everything else about this godforsaken week and a half. His index finger traced the angle of your jaw, whilst he held your lower back tight, pressing himself as close as physically possible to you. Needing you.

Eventually arching back, your thumb ran over his deep and sunken under-eyes, which added so much age to his face.

“You look tired Tommy.”

“Can’t sleep without you telling me goodnight.” That was another tradition you had had. Even when he was away, you’d even set an alarm for whatever bedtime was for the other across the world. Just so you could send a little message or voice not saying goodnight. Was it cringey? Yes. Did either of you care? No.

But since you’d been away all the evening wishes were absent from you. Which hurt Tom more than you may ever know.

“I know you’re still angry but will you please come home to me? I need you to be the last thing I hear at night and the first thing in the morning.”

would love to hear any feedback <333 (but think this is a bit of a shitter so im sorry!!!)

tagging: @lovehollandy12 @pandaxnienke @thegirlwiththeimpala @msmimimerton @hollandfanficlove @hollandlover19 @hunnybunimdun @crossyourpeter @thefernandasantana@hallecarey1

#tom holland x you #tom holland angst #tom holland x y/n #tomholland #tom holland x reader #tom holland fluff #harry holland

[universitypenguin]

Bucky Barnes is a Traditional Man

- Bucky Barnes is a traditional man in the sense that his woman comes first.

- You have more doors held open for you than you could have imagined before you began dating Bucky.

- Door to buildings, your car door (always!), he even moves one step ahead of you when you walk down the stairs in heels so he could break your fall, just in case.

- James Buchanan Barnes is quite protective of his girlfriend.

- He’s in love with you and it finally allows some of the deeper wounds from Hydra, from the war, and losing Steve to heal.

- His heart was cold and aching before he met you. Now it’s warm and soft.

- Your perspective on the world is something that attracted him to you in the first place. You’re an optimist in a jaded world and vibrant with life in a way he’s not sure he’s even capable of.

- But somehow, being with you helps bridge the gap. He can look in the mirror and not see the Winter Soldier looking back at him. Instead he sees the man from the 1940s who loved to dance and who hoped to win a boxing title.

- You gave him that man back with your care and affection, even before the two of you fell in love. And he feels such a gratitude for that his heart throbs and his eyes glass over when he thinks about it for too long.

- Bucky is a man in love and you’re happier with him than you ever thought was possible to be. Things are so good between you two; easy, light, and sweet.

- Then one night at dinner Bucky forgets his phone. He asks to borrow your to check the score of a baseball game.

- And he accidentally finds an open porn tab. Curious, he turns the screen so no one else can see and watches. His stomach twists. The appetizer from earlier suddenly isn’t sitting so well.

- Choking.

- You watch porn with men choking their women.

- He’s not judging. He’s really not. But he’d been hoping for something he could replicate for you, and this? He can’t. Not in a million years.

- He’s afraid of hurting you.

- He doesn’t say it out loud because it feels like speaking one of his worst fears into existence. He doesn’t want even the words to pass his lips and take root in your imagination.

- You can’t see him like that. Like a monster. Too many others have and there’s enough truth behind the title for him to sleep well at night, despite all his progress. But most of the time, he sleeps well. It’s because of you and he knows it. Your comforting presence allows him to relax.

- He sleeps in bed with you nowadays. He likes how firm your mattress is.

- He struggles through dinner, the video playing through the back of his mind. When you ask him what the score of the game was he can’t figure out what you’re talking about. It’s an awkward moment.

- The thing here, is that Bucky Barnes is a traditional man. His woman comes first. So he’s going to do whatever it takes to please you and he knows it.

- You always come first. Both in the bedroom and out of it. That’s one of his rules. So he’s already forming ideas about how he’s going to accommodate your kink.

- Two weeks later is your anniversary. He gets flowers, takes you to a nice restaurant and when you get home, brings up the thing.

- “I found your porn open when I borrowed your phone. I’m guessing that you like choking, doll?”

- Your cheeks turn bright red. And you stammer.

- “Hey. Don’t be embarrassed. I want to know this stuff. I need to. How can I please you if we don’t talk about it?”

- “Bucky, you don’t have to... I would never ask you...”

- He smiles. He loves that you’re protective of him in your own way. Knowing this has done a lot for his mental well-being. It makes the relationship between you two solid and strong.

- “I want to give you everything you want in bed,” Bucky says.

- “But you already do!”

- That’s true. Too many of your ex-boyfriends were quick and rough without taking the time for foreplay.

- Bucky is an expert at foreplay. He’s able to build the tension until you fall apart for him is an addiction that he feeds as often as he can. Knowing he provides for your needs like no other man before him is a point of pride for him. (Private pride, that is. Even Sam doesn’t know anything about his sex life. Some parts of 1940’s discretion is very much ingrained in him. It’s not shame. He just likes keeping intimacy... intimate.)

- Bucky is slow and sensual in bed, warm and passionate. With him sex really does feel like making love. It was on your first night together that you’d fallen for him and his patient, gentle way of touching you.

- Orgasming had been so easy when you felt worshiped and safe. And it remained that way with him. Later, these feelings heightened your desire for rough sex with your boyfriend. Because sex with Bucky was a place of security for you. He was utterly harmless towards you and in that context, rough sex would be amazing.

- But things between you two are pretty much vanilla.

- He’s always soft with you. Things can be heightened and swirling with passion, but he’s never show even a flash of aggression or force.

- The super soldier serum means he has stamina for days. He can accomplish and position you want to try, even if it involves lifting you for long periods of time. And there’s no question if he’s going to last. Also, his recovery time is so short “round two” sometimes blurs in with round one.

- But he’s careful about using his strength against you, even more so during intimate situations.

- You’re not “breakable” and he knows that. But you’re precious to him and leaving a mark that isn’t from pure passion would wreck his mental health. Permanently. He’d never forgive himself.

- You know this too, which is why you never asked him to choke you.

- “Baby doll. I want to give you your fantasy. Will you let me? Do you want that from me?”

- You do. You really, really want to be choked by him. So you quietly respond, “Yes.”

- Before he starts, you two sit on the couch and he holds you while you tell him about your fantasies. He takes off your heels while you tell him all your darkest desires. And he gives the sore arches of your feet a massage, listening intently.

- One comforting thing for Bucky is that having been a soldier, he knows how to choke someone. He’ll be able to tell if it’s too much for you. He knows how long before it would damage you. There’s some confidence forming that this will be safe and he won’t hurt you.

- It’s nice that for once his violent past is proving helpful in your relationship. He thought agreeing to choke you might rattle him a little, stirring up old emotions, but it’s soothing. He’s enjoying using what he knows to make this experience good for you.

- He lets things get rough when you go to bed. He doesn’t hold back the passion tonight. Instead, he focuses on eating you to orgasm and holding you on the edge until you pull his hair.

- “Bucky! Please!”

- Then he slides two fingers inside of you and draws fast little circles on your g-spot until you break.

- He lets up on your clit but as the orgasm fades, slides in a third finger and pounds the spot until your pussy creams on his hand and your groans are low and raw, filled with ecstasy.

- “That’s it, doll. Just like that. So pretty when you cum for me. Keep going, baby girl. I’m right here.”

- His metal arm wraps around your waist when you arch your back, holding you so he can keep toying with the spot as your hips begin to jerk away.

- When he’s finally done with your g-spot his hand is drenched. So is the sheet and your inner thighs.

- And you’re gasping for breath from the intense orgasm. When it comes on this hard you can’t really tell if it’s one long orgasm or three separate ones that came almost back to back.

- Bucky takes you in his arms, cooing sweet nothings into your ear.

- It helps you calm down when he talks in a soft soothing voice. The man should narrate meditations.

- His voice is silky and smooth for you, yet rough with repressed need. You can hear the need and it feeds your desire.

- “Please, Bucky. I need to feel you inside of me.”

- You find yourself underneath him, with your legs pushed apart and his body selling between them.

- You love feeling the weight of him on top of you.

- Then, he gently opens the petals of your sex and guides himself inside of you.

- There’s a stretch and burn as he enters you, just like there always is. Your body never quite adjusts to his girth. Each time you have to relax for him.

- He knows it’s a challenge to take him at first. He’s always careful and there’s a tube of lubricant in the side table. It’s not always needed but he’s always prepared.

- His hips begin to roll, and he sets a steady pace that pushes the tip of his cock against your spot with each thrust. At first his thrusts are shallow but as you begin to relax around him he goes deeper. His body moves forward to cover you and he starts fucking you hard.

- Each snap of his hips has you keening. Your body is so sensitive from your earlier orgasms. He keeps up the pace steady and constant until you’re begging. Then he reaches out with his metal hand and covers your throat. At this point, your channel clenches around him, almost in orgasm.

- “You wanted my metal hand baby, didn’t you?”

- Yeah. You had. The idea had fueled your fantasies night after night.

- The cool press of metal into your throat makes you moan and tremble.

- Bucky feels the shiver and worry flashes through his eyes. “This okay, doll?”

- “Yes, harder, please!”

- He can feel your body responding and it encourages him to press down, finally choking you the way you’d dreamed of.

- You orgasm almost instantly as he chokes you through your climax.

- Bucky lets go when your fluttering muscles start to ease. Suddenly he’s driving into you hard. He drops his hand from your neck, needing both to balance his weight as he seeks his own pleasure.

- The wild, rough movement is harder than the two of you have ever gone before.

- Because he’s always been afraid of hurting you with his enhanced strength until he was too far gone to think.

- When his orgasm hits, his sight goes white and he jerks against you, pumping his seed into you. Then he collapses.

- You hold him tight, savoring the press of his body and the feeling of his release inside of you.

- “You okay, doll? I wasn’t too rough?”

- “It was perfect.”

- Your hand strokes through his hair as you lay together in the same position for several minutes. Heartbeats pounding, your minds still struggling to return to equilibrium.

- Bucky recovers first. Damn that super soldier serum. It’s not fair that you’re still limp and dazed.

- He slips out of you and rolls over, bringing you with him. Your head finds its cradle in his shoulder and your eyes drift shut.

- Recovery isn’t going to happen for you tonight. You’re just going straight to sleep. You’ve earned it.

- Bucky shifts you onto your side. He gets up and you hear water running in the bathroom before a cool cloth touches between your legs, cleaning you.

- You murmur a thanks, half asleep.

- He comes back to cuddle you into his arms, adjusting the pillows around you before he lays down.

- When you throw a leg over his hip, he draws you closer so that you’re lying almost on top of him.

- “You make such a good pillow of someone with so many hard muscles.”

- Bucky chuckles and kisses the top of your head.

- “I’m glad. Go to sleep, doll. I love you.”

- “I love you too, James.”

#bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x you #drabble #bucky barnes #tfaws bucky #smut #bucky barnes smut #bucky fanfic #lemon #bullet points #winter solider #winter solider x you

[writingwithcolor]

Mental illness: Black Father “Abandons” the family and mental illness (suicide tw)

@chrismarium asked:

In a story I’m writing, the main character is Afro-Latina and her father committed suicide when she was a child. Her mother is resentful towards him because of it and makes reference to him “abandoning” them often. I’m worried that this may play into the absent black father trope, though the story is mostly focused on the effects of untreated mental illness. Does this fall under that trope?

Much bigger than the “Absent Black Father”

We wouldn’t consider this the absent Black Father Trope. This goes deeper than abandonment, and has much more to do with his mental health. The story seems more of a tale on mental illness and that’s where your research should be aimed towards. However, there is certainly an intersection of race and mental illness to consider. 

There are intersectional issues that might play a part, such as

Misdiagnosis and medical racism

Dismissal of symptoms by professionals

Family, especially of older generations, who take a “pray it away” perspective towards mental illness

Ableism and dismissal of his experiences as being “crazy”

This isn’t meant to generalize, but these things definitely happen.

How deep you dig into it depends on you and your story’s focus. Research all the intersectional matters either way, just so you’re aware as you write the story. Whether it ends up in the story or not is up to you. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a strong matter of race here. People hide their mental illnesses and depression all the time, and well. Possibly that is where the issue lied?

I find it’s best to leave the discussion of intra community issues to those with the experience. If you’d prefer not to go deeply into that in the story, you don’t have to. 

As a Black person with depression, I certainly hid mine for several years. I didn’t fear it wouldn’t be taken seriously. I just thought I could “fix” myself until issues and triggering situations arose that made it hard to keep it in. When I finally opened up to my family about it, it was absolutely taken seriously and with care. As soon as my father learned of my depression, I was put in therapy and medicine figured out for me almost immediately. 

The father’s act doesn’t need to mean he didn’t have support (because of the community or otherwise). Even if others suspected there were issues, it can be hard to know the extent of one's illness. 

The Latina woman 

As for his wife / the MC’s mother, i’m not sure if he was unable to hide it from her as well, or it spilled out in ways she didn’t understand, but since you mentioned it was untreated, perhaps this was the case?

Presently, she has a lot of trauma and emotion she needs to process regarding her husband. This is clear based on what she says to her daughter about him. I hope this can be properly addressed in the story. Her resentfulness is not baseless by any means, and I am curious about her journey. I believe her character deserves exploration of that hurt and the feelings of abandonment she faces.

We can’t speak too much about the Latine perspective of this (potential future Latine mods, you’re welcome to apply to join the team. Inquire within!) so if any folks would like to chime in, feel free. 

-A Black Mod with some personal experience with this subject 

Commentary

@storieswelove said:

I can only speak to my experience, but re: the mother, mental health convos can be rough and often lose/lose. Saying things "taking pills" disdainfully if people need psychiatric meds, thinking depression can be cured with exercise and not talking about your problems. BIG emphasis on will power, so the "abandonment" idea unfortunately tracks in my experience.

Want to emphasize that this is my experience as a non-black Latine, purely speaking to my experience with various white and brown Latin American loved ones/families of loved ones. I reread the ask and wasn't sure about the mother's background.

#Absent Black Father #Black men #Latine #Latina woman #Afro Latina #relationships #family #suicide #suicide tw #mental illness #Asks

[everythingthemoontouches]

💙Hi there! , First of all i want to tell you that i love your blog! And i love how your posts are so accurate!💙 If its okay with you could you please do me a favor by describing how others see me,my appearance or more specifically the vibe I radiate to others! It would mean alot to me if you you do that💙I'm a cancer sun,leo rising,Lilith sextile asc, Pluto trine asc, Uranus opposition asc, Moon opposition asc, mars sextile venus, mars opposition neptune, asteroid lilith conjunct mc and jupiter in the 1st house!💙

Hola!

Thank you that's really kind of you 💛💕

You know that quote that says Cinderella never asked for a prince. All she wanted was a night out and a dress. You kind of exude a similar vibe but with respect to leadership positions. 'I never asked to be Queen/King, but the people have spoken' kind of an energy. You would be equally happy to be by yourself, learning about the subconscious mind, higher realms and other esoteric science.

For more on Jupiter in LEO I'd recommend watching Astrofinesse.

For jupiter in the first there's KRS.

🌻As a Leo rising you come across as someone outgoing, with a playful energy but you're also somehow someone people would expect to see in a position of authority. You're drawn to people who stimulate you intellectually and love to exchange ideas.

😬If you have an Aquarius saturn you could be having some challenges in your relationships since December 2020 as saturn transits your 7th house. I'd suggest practicing discernment in this area as well as signing contracts with people until it passes( early 2023) ..

😇12th house sun could take on other people's energy. I feel like you need some time away, by yourself, preferably at the beach / pool/ shower to declutter, clear your head and replenish your sense of Self. You could be highly intuitive. If this resonates, I'd urge you to look up empath drain and how to protect yourself from energy vampires.

Ruler of the ascendant in the 12th :

spirituality could be a huge part of your life. For some people this could show a father (figure) who was convicted or worked in a prison / asylum. They could also have a really remote job. Since the sun is also your own personal identity, you could profit off these themes. Working in a mental health facility, overseas, in esoteric crafts.

🌛With your moon in the 7th house, you probably attract a lot of older women, (queen of swords) nurturing energies . Your mom could have a major influence on any business partnerships that you enter.

In relationships you could have a here today gone tomorrow kind of a presence. This is because as the moon waxes and wanes so does your attraction / attachment to specific people?

♒Aquarius moon : it could be really hard for you to express your feelings. So Instead of asking for a hug there could be a tendency to say something like ' ew imagine asking for one?' you leave a place better than you found it. If you watch hindi movies, 3 Idiots could be a movie you really resonate with. ( I pretty much spent the day looking up the lead actor, who has major aquarius placements and his films have always been disruptive with a really nice social message that left people talking for years after they were released. I tell you this because he shares 2 of your big 3 - aquarius and cancer.)

Going off on this tangent you could be a well respected teacher / writer / entertainer. Jupiter in LEO could help with this.

I do feel like you need a certain amount of inventiveness in your relationships. The people you're with are people who introduce you to new hobbies / ideas / technologies. You need to feel like you guys learn something new or create something that matters together. This is enhanced by uranus in the 7th house. You could come across really cold because you always give people the naked honest truth when asked. You do this from a place of love. I'm reminded of the Queen of Swords card in the rider Waite tarot. Not everyone has the maturity to take it. Or maybe they've just had a bad day. It is what it is. Perhaps try to not be so incisive if this is something you struggle with.

In the same vein, if I asked you to write down how you were feeling how long would it take for you to identify the right emotion. How honest are you with yourself?

Moon and Uranus being in the same house could show that stagnation could really hurt your mental health / happiness / satisfaction levels.

With a saturn ruled moon I feel like I need to remind you to not be so hard on yourself. Like. The world won't crumble to dust if you allow yourself to take care of you once in a while.there's only so much you can do.

All those coffee mugs will catch up. There's no such thing as extra hours in the day. A lack of sleep manifests as early signs of aging. No hate for the elderly but arthritis is not a fun ailment to have. Do you wanna be 60 with 80 year old nervous system problems? I rest my case.

Uranus and moon aspect your ascendant so you could have a slightly plump look?

Jupiter in the first house people usually have prominent thighs. I had a friend with this placement and when we were growing up she used to complain of chafed thighs a lot?

Mars sextile venus you could be your own type? The way you act and the way you want your future partners to express love could be quite similar which is good for healthy relationships.

There could be a tendency to spend impulsively.

With Mars sextiling venus you could be someone who earns more the more active their lifestyle is? Like, you may need to be an agile learner to keep money flowing in .

Jupiter in LEO in a woman's chart usually shows they'd have a financially well off spouse so money may not be a huge concern. He could be a sailor or earn via exports/ navy. It's hard to say without knowing where your Saturn is.

The image you project to the world could be a lot more outgoing than how you actually feel. You're more private than people think.

With a fire rising, water sun and air moon you could either be a really balanced person or just have a number of clashing ideas on who to be, what to do and achieve.

Descendant : The people that hate on you could attack your need to stand out /try to dim your time in the spotlight. Think aquarius themes of standing out to improve community clashing with Leo's need to stand out solely because it helps their ego. Like your confidence could trigger the part if them that felt judged negatively for expressing their individuality.

Do you feel like you thrive in chaos? I'm guessing you're atleast in your late 20s if not older, so you might have gotten better at dealing with people acting unexpectedly. Your mom could have been unpredictable. Really intelligent, but forgets to eat ..

🥤🦀As a cancer sun, you could be the friend your friends come to for advice. There could be a tendency to be a little too selfless. I think your aqua moon really serves as a shield to those who try to take advantage of your caring nature. Have you considered a career in psychic medium ship? Or any spiritual art/ past life regression / you get the drift..

Is there a family craft or hobby that you could monetize? Jupiter in LEO could signify ancestral gains.

Lilith and Pluto aspects to ascendant can make you come across really sexy / a bit unapproachable because people feel like you have some kind of power that places you above them?

Due to this, people with Pluto / Lilith aspects can feel some kind of hurt around people clearing up the path around them if that makes sense.

Jupiter opposite moon : there could be a clash between you want to do VS what you feel you should be doing.

Jupiter in the first house : you could have been born rich? Or people just perceive you that way. They also see you as someone wordly wise and lucky in general. You could know a lot about a wide variety of things. Specially on topics related to appearance, personal development, image consciousness etc. Since the ruler of the first is in the 12th I feel like some of your wisdom comes from a divine source. Like you're tapping into some kind of a collective reservoir of knowledge. In starseed terminology we would refer to this as downloads.

Jupiter rules the 8th house and 5th house.

So love, romance, games, early education may have been a bit of a breeze for you.

Jupiter is usually a bit of a celibate spiritual person. So, while it may make you really wise with respect to things like the occult / tarot / other 8th house themes, I'm not sure how it would impact your sex life with a spouse. Sex could be either a deeply spiritual experience for you or take on more neptunian traits. Addiction / alcoholism / drug use the works. Jupiter expands the themes of the house it rules so a word of caution there.

Travelling could bring you luck. Or even love.

Did I hear Mars opposite Neptune?

This could be a literal battlefield. You could feel like you need to work for love.if Neptune is unconditional love and Mars is your drive, then you could literally match to get to taht elusive unconditional sense of belonging /love / acceptance. But what are you marching towards really? A mirage? With this aspect I'd really be on the guard against addiction of any kind. Neptune is enticing, alluring, mocking Mars for its need to conquer. It could lend a really nice swagger to your walk. A runway model could benefit from thus placement. At uts best this aspect imbues you with creativity, inspiration, otherworldly imagination and the energy required to turn your abstract ideas of art into something tangible.

Here's a source for more on this placement. Sometimes I find that the comments really help me make sense of my own placements

Toodles

Before I sign off, I just have to say this :please try to restrict asks to 2-3 placements. You can send in multiple asks if you'd like, but answering them all in one ask can get a bit cluttered and I'd hate to miss out on something 😊

Hope this helped 💕as always, I'd really appreciate your feedback on this take on how these placements affect you.

#Cancer sun #12th house sun #3 idiots #Aquarius moon #Air moon #Astro asks #Jahnspeaks #Astrology #Moon in 7th house #Uranus 7th house #Jupiter in first house #Jupiter in leo #Queen of swords #Aquarius tarot #Leo rising #Mars sextile venus #Future spouse #Mars opposite Neptune #Mars #Neptune #Illusions #Creativity in astrology #Entertainment astrology #Practical astrology

[tenthgrove]

Yandere Bruno squad headcanons perhaps :0?

Yandere Team Buccelati

Content Warnings: Yandere behaviour, stalking, abduction

A/N: Apologies, but I've decided that I'm not really comfortable writing under 18s as yandere characters, so I'll just be doing Buccialati, Abbacchio and Mista for this one. Extra warning that this is really bad (I'm particularly not happy with Mista's section) because I wrote this late at night and didn't know what I was saying as I wrote it, so double apologies for that.

Bruno Buccelati

In spite of his occupation, Bruno has no qualms befriending the civilian population of Naples and doing good for them. He holds a profound pity for the victims of organised crime, and is eager to help where he can. So when you approach him on the street, asking for help with ridding yourself of a creepy stranger who had made it his business to follow and harass you, Bruno is quick to ensure your would-be stalker never looks your way again.

Although Bruno saw to it that you were escorted home safely, he can't help but feel some well-intentioned worry for your well-being over the coming days. He checks in on you again, which you find to be very sweet, but as the days pass by again his worry returns. Continuing to visit you would seem odd, he knows, but surely there's no harm in asking Narancia to check through your window once in a while?

At first it really is just concern for your safety, but after a while, Bruno is forced to accept that he is genuinely infatuated with you. His feelings are far too strong to simply sweep under the rug, and approaching you the normal way could put you in danger, provided it even works. He isn't going to kidnap you, that would leave him no better than the thugs he chases off of the streets, but to make you his he's going to resort to something unorthodox.

Bruno makes a few preparations. He does a few favours for your friends and family- gotta make sure they're on his side, He also checks his intel into the area's rival street gangs, since it can't hurt to have a hint of truth to the story he's going to tell. Then, armed with a few empty suitcases and a fake look of concern, he heads to your house late one night.

He announces to you that one of the rival gangs in the area has singled you out as a target for trafficking, and because of your previous interactions with him, they're dead set on taking you. Bruno assures you not to worry and helps you pack away your things, promising that you will be safe in his care while the issue with the gang is sorted out. You'll be staying in his house, of course. It's best he's right on call in case anyone tries to come after you.

Your new life in Bruno's house is a strange one. You cannot leave the house of course, except for the occasional short trip with him or his men to stop your mental health from suffering, but your internet access is unrestricted, you can call your family as much as you want, and you're allowed to buy anything you'd like with your money (or better, have him buy it for you). You have your own room, but Bruno often asks to come in and sit with you late at night. It's all for your comfort, of course.

After a couple of months, Bruno's excuses to keep you longer will start to run out as you start to wonder why he hasn't eliminated the street gang yet. The hope is that by this point, you would have already fallen for Bruno's charm and started to love him, but barring this, he'll simply buy more time by making up more reasons why it's unsafe for you to go home.

But, if all else fails, and you begin to insist on leaving... well, Bruno didn't want to do this, but he can't just let you go. You're locked in your room, windows barred as Bruno explains to you calmly that this is all for your own good. You can come out any time you want, Amore. All you have to do is promise to stay.

Leone Abbacchio

Despite his occasionally cold demeanour, Abbacchio is no stranger to the want for companionship and affection. In fact, it's fair to say he needs it, and that going so long without tenderness has left him empty, miserable and disillusioned. But it's only a matter of time before somebody reawakens his need for warmth.

Both of you were having a bad day. You were downtrodden and lamentful, and as sad people tend to do together, you shared your angsts together as you sat at the bus stop, neither of you caring that this was the first time you'd even seen each other.

Abbacchio does not want the conversation to end. So when the bus arrives, he gets a ticket to your stop instead, and sits with you, continuing to talk. He is sad when you say goodbye. He knows he needs to see you again. He thinks nothing of lingering to see which street you turn onto as you walk home.

Abbacchio gets to work right away. He needs to have you, but cannot see you ever falling for someone like him. Not through normal means instead. His thoughts turn to abduction, but the image of you begging and crying as he drags you to his car saddens him. He knows he could never hurt you that badly. He needs to find a half-way point, between force and natural love.

The first thing he does, once his mind is made up, is go to your boss. Using Passione's name, he quickly convinces them to fire you without any question as to why. It is a similar story with your landlord a few days later. Any friends or relatives who might take you in are also sent a warning phone-call.

You know full-well what has happened. You knew at the time your one-time companion on the bus was a mafioso, his story made that clear. You beat yourself up every minute for not avoiding him then and there. And now, as misfortune after misfortune strikes you, everyone who bears you bad news has the same white-haired stranger to speak of. When, on your first night on the streets, a tall figure approaches you from the black car, you do not feel any surprise.

Both you and Abbacchio know what he is here for, so he does not explain much. He sombrely instructs you to get in the car if you don't want to be stuck on the streets any longer, promising that he will not do you any harm if you comply. He has already struck out every other option for possibly helping yourself. You have little choice but to go with him.

You do not expect much when you arrive at Abbacchio's house, but instead you find all your old possessions lined up for you to decorate your room with. After quickly explaining where the bathroom is and which foods from the kitchen are free for taking, he goes to bed, advising that you do the same. You are completely, and utterly perplexed.

Abbacchio forces little conversation on you in the early weeks. Most of the time, he is out doing work, leaving you with free reign of his house. Soon, you do not feel at all as though you were forced to be here. You dare say your life is better here than it was before. Abbacchio's friends occasionally visit, making sure that Leone isn't mistreating you and you're fully happy here. Eventually, Abbacchio relents to letting you reopen communications with your friends. You cannot say you have anything to complain about.

The only question, is what Abbacchio ever wanted from you. It's so strange how he went to all these lengths to take you only to largely ignore you. The truth is, he's waiting for you to open up to him of your own free will. As he lies in bed alone at night, he dreams of you coming into his room, asking if he can hold you for a minute.

Mista

Guido Mista has dated a few times in the past, and he isn't interested in letting Passione stop him from continuing. It doesn't matter how you met him, just that after a few encounters you began to date, and were very happy with your new beau. You worked well together, what else is there to say?

But after your second date, Buccialati received word of your existence and was concerned. He isn't exactly going to force you to stop dating, Mista is an adult after all and can do as he pleases. But Buccelati wants to make sure you know what you're getting into.

Paying you a visit, Buccelati explains to you that your new boyfriend is involved with the mafia, and continuing to see him will involve certain risks. He is happy for you to take these risks, so long as you are aware of their existence. You thank him for him time, and immediately proceed to shut off all communication with Mista without explanation.

After a brief shouting match with Buccelati once Mista realises what he's done, he marches over to your house to plead with you to take him back. You stand your ground, that Mista lied to you and you refuse to be involved with criminals, but Mista isn't giving up.

The argument escalates. You slam the door in his face. Mista goes home and despairs. You were the best he's ever had, and now he's supposed to accept that you're just... gone?! No... all you need is a little more time. Mista turns right around and heads back to your house. This time, he isn't letting up for anything.

It goes much further than he intended. In a split-moment of instinct, Mista draws his gun and threatens you into letting him in. He really didn't mean to scare you like that, but his emotions are running high right now and he doesn't know how else to make you listen.

So, here you are now, a hostage in your own home, because your barely boyfriend couldn't let you go. In the ultimatum the two of you made after he threatened you, you ended up agreeing not to leave the house at all for the time since he was scared you'd try to run.

Mista doesn't stay with you all the time, but he visits you daily to bring you things and try to repair the relationship. To his credit, he hasn't threatened you at all since the initial incident and seems to regret it intently, but forgiving him is difficult after what he did.

Your commitments are mysteriously all taken care of, your boss inexplicably granting you a long period of furlough at full pay. Buccelati wasn't kidding when he said the group Mista was part of was powerful. You shudder to think of what else he could do.

#team buccellati #team bucciarati #bruno buccellati #bruno buccerati #bruno buccelati x reader #bruno buccerati x reader #leone abbacchio #leone abbacchio x reader #Guido Mista #guido mista x reader #yandere cw #stalking cw #abduction cw

[jean-does-not-have-a-horseface]

Jean with their almost full term wife just being extremely uncomfortable, they cry a lot and are just ready for the baby to be out?

Here I go... this has been in my inbox for an embarrassing amount of time but I had this plot in mind for two years and I was waiting for this moment to be animated to be able to write and post this... Listen while you read → the sound of silence by Simon and Garfunkel

Pairing: Jean/ Reader

Tags: hurt/comfort (yes my ✨favorite✨), Jean being a sweetheart

Warnings: pregnancy, grief, mentions of labor and childbirth, crying, Post Sasha's death

The Sound of Silence

The dull, gray shade that was plastered all over the sky was accompanied by an excessive stride of frozen air that was blowing on your hair, sending stray strands of (e/c) flying all over your eyes. A few droplets fell faintly in random places over you and on the freshly trimmed grass that was swaying under your feet. There was a vast variety of tombstones that surrounds you, sternly and calculated lined up tombs extend to a tragic horizon, where your eyes couldn't seem to find an end to. A few leaves were being blown around over them, as well as fresh flower petals, ones you could recognise as you had seen numerous people leave bouquets to their deceased loved ones for all the time you'd stayed here.

Inevitably, the gravestone you were resting your back on was frozen, making your whole body shiver as you lean on it, but you chose not to pay any attention to it; you simply buried your chin between your knees and closed your eyes before letting out a sigh escape you. Your stomach tightened as your chest hitched and you instinctively brought a hand to rub over your swollen tummy. You inspected the bum by running your hand around it, rubbing on a few places near your inverted belly button, pressing slightly over the top as you felt the probing piece of flesh flick in the palm of your hand underneath your dress.

When you felt a kick, a single leg movement push against the insides of your stomach, though, you took away your hand, slamming it onto the ground as you tried to grip onto the moist soil right next to you. It was kind of a peculiar feeling and even now, nine months in you were still fully uncomfortable with it. Being pregnant wasn't something you've enjoyed; rather was more like a hazard to your very health and was reason you were relieved of your soldier duties. And you secretly cursed Jean and yourself a bit for allowing this to happen.

Who on their right mind would enjoy swollen feet and back pains, who would enjoy the crazy mood swings and the fatigue that causes you to be unable of even taking a stroll around the town? Who would ever want to feel suffoccated by how big their pregnancy belly had turned? Not you. Definitely not you, but according to your mother they were supposed to be something you'd enjoy later on.

Now, you weren't so sure.

And you were so overdue yet you weren't even sure you could even take care of your child in the mental state you were in.

Sighing hard after taking a deep inhale you dug your frail fingernails into the soil, feeling the ominous tears that the angry skies were begining to pour. Your eyes lingered on the shapeless coulds, focusing onto the dull, stripped light that could barely peak from underneath them. You felt the faint river of a tear run down your cheek at the sight and the skies responded right back at you with a loud thunderclap. It almost felt as if the skies were mourning Sasha just like you. Maybe, if you tried to convince yourself, you'd believe that it was your childhood friend that cried with you due to your departure.

Feeling your body go stiff and your face go numb from the fresh needles of the cold air that was blowing on you your scrunched your nose upwards, hoping for the action to stimulate even the tiniest blood flow to the numb tip. It didn't, and the tingling sensation of a sneeze madxhed it's way to your blood vessels, scratching methodically at all the right pressure points to force it's release. Finally and with a loud blow you felt your chest go in shock as you sneezed, your whole body joltimg up on your very spot.

Still you sniffled the little drops of moisture with the inside of your elbow, you couldn't find it in you to move or get up, you couldn't even try to find an ounce of physical strength inside your body. Sashas tombstone provided some strong comfort for you though, acting as your only comforter against the cold.

"This can't be any good for you."

A soft, large and so very warm hand came to rest upon your shoulder; delicate fingers gave you a squeeze as a bulky thumb rubbed a few circles to the end of your collarbone. You didn't even have time turn your head to see who it was, frankly because you knew.

His scent, his warmth, his touch, his whole aura practially screamed his name.

"Jean?"

"It's going to rain really hard you know." He said, planting a kiss to your temple. "wanna go back?"

"No." You sniffled dangerously.

"Okay then, I-" Jean paused before squating to your level "I guess were staying here for a bit."

"Thank you."

The soft ruffle that you felt on your hair was Jeans reply and it tousled your hair slightly, allowing the shy blond to catch a tiny sniff of your sweet scent to which he sncrunched his nose slightly and proceeded to place a kiss at the top of your hair line. Then, once again, he placed another kiss on your temple.

Fidgeting with your hand while trying to undig it out of the soil, you closed your eyes at the feeling, expecting the tiniest bits of adoration to enter your body through that kiss. Jean rested his head on your shoulder from his squatting position and you smiled a tiny bit and only in the blink of an eye, exhaling a cold huff of air to his face. A sharp pain in your chest was starting to spread, pushing back away over everything else that lay inside your body, strangling the insides of your throat.

"I miss her already."

You felt your breath chock you from the insides of your throat dangerously; a tight, looking knot was finally making its binds tighter and even more evident to the depths of your stomach as it spread to your throat.

"Me too"

"And God she was more that me excited for our baby."

As you shut your eyes, in frail attempt to mute the memories of Sasha that were coming back to your vision, a single tear rolled from the corner of your eye. With a shaking hand you managed to grip onto the side of Jean's coat; the chachi makò cotton coat rubbed against your thum as if protesting for the dirt that was being wiped on it, yet Jean didn't seem to care.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here for so long when you're dysphoric about pregnancy."

"Its-its fine" You sniffled, a hitched sigh escaping the depths of your throat.

"Mmm baby, it's not, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't bring Sasha back with me too she'd talk to me everyday about betting on how we're going to have twins."

As another thunderclap roared in the background, Jean found it fitting to move his aching legs and shift his position to the ground. As he took a turn, he placed another kiss just next to your eye while he took your hand in between his. With a soft thud he came to rest his body next to yours and you made a slight move to allow him a little more space before his back finally came to rest to the small tomb right behind you. A hand came to wrap around your shoulders lovingly silently begging you to push your head down to your lover's shoulder to which you eagerly complied.

"I kinda think she was right, I'm too huge, I can't even breathe properly these days." Another tiny peck was placed to the top of your head as you spoke. "To be honest," You sniffled "whatever it is I want it to be out."

"I know."

"And I don't want to accept that Sasha died, I grew up with her Jean."

"I know baby." He said and placed a new kiss to your head.

"And for the love of any fucking intelligent titan I'm so swollen and I'm angry and all that could make me happy right now would be you Connie and Sasha teasing me about it."

Jean felt your back pulp on him like a jolting lighting has just fell from the sky. He heard the hard sniffle of your nose and heard the painful sob that was stuck to the back of your throat as your sentence came to an end. This, with a burning desire to let his own heart go loose came the feeling of his own eyes stinging, his own chest jolting, his fingertips gripping onto the side of your head as if they were hanging onto you for dear life.

"All I get though is this stupid tomb!" You cried and threw a clenched first backwards towards the tomb, hitting it with all your potential might as you chocked on your next words. "This stupid fucking reminder that my best friend is dead."

It was so dearly painful. Your heart hammered in your chest in protest to your refusal to deny Sasha's death, your stomach churned in a coiling fire and the big swelling bumb under your right hand rioted against your mourning. But you failed to give a care. Your best friend in the whole world was dead.

You could still remember when you decided to join the military together, you still remembered your very first friends, you still remembered how she and Connie were the ones to help you and Jean get together. You remembered the way you'd play when you were kids and how you'd spend days sewing clothes just to play like you were paying a visit to Sina in your most elegant attire. You remembered watching her fall in love with food and with whom you had thought could be the man of her life.

You remembered every single miniscule moment of your life spent with Sasha and it crushed you.

Nevertheless when Jean's long fingers came to sway over the roots of your hair and his nose nuzzled to the top of your hairline, his lips rubbing onto your soft hair, ready to press another kiss at any given time, your face softned, taking away the chocked sob you were about to let out with it. You brought your hand to your face, pulling your sleeve to cover it up and put it to your nose to wipe the runny goo off of it.

"I know, shh" The ashy blond rubbed his chin to the side of your scalp, giving you the tiniest bit of affection from it before bringing his nose back to your head to rub it on the spot again.

Then, the way that you sighed was almost silent.

Save for the whiny hiccup that escaped you.

"Please don't cry so much, I'm going to panic."

A tiny laughter inevitably escaped you. You remembered that phrase very well. When you had caught Jean crying after Marco's memorial he had came running into your arms, sobbing like a madman and you had wispered the same words while rubbing your palms soothingly over his back. That was the same night that you decided to follow him into joining the scouts, the first night of an endless personal misery.

"It's just-" You cried "I just can't, we've lost so many people and it hurts Jean. I should have been there."

"Shh no, don't think like that."

Jean was holding back tears for you. It was evident in the way that he was shaking and jolting his head from time to time. His palm was flexed in a fist, tightly resting over your shoulder as it gripped a fold in your cloack. You only breathed harder at the realisation, feeling your chest sink in a tremendous amount of pain that left you hollow. You felt another kick coming from the inside of your stomach to which you shut your eyes to, too afraid to see the outline of a hand or a foot appear under the thin linen clothe of your dress. And just like before, another heart wrenching sob escaped you.

"I didn't want to say goodbye." Jean said quietly, his voice coming as a breath that barely brushed your ear. "You didn't even get to say goodbye and that's bad of me to say, but I didnt want to see what I saw. I didn't want to say goodbye. I don't want you to suffer. I don't want to suffer either."

"Jean.."

The sniffling of your nostrils wasn't nowhere near coming to an halt, thus the back of your sleeve was the ideal solution to your distress; had you had any more little power in your body you would reach for the handkerchief in your shoulder bad. But that couldn't be the case. Not until you could feel your feet.

"(Y/n), baby... I'm sorry. I promise I won't let anything happen to you and our baby. Even if it means I have to sacrifice my life for you to be safe."

A gasp came out of your mouth quicker than you had anticipated. The hiccup that escaped you was accompanied by another burning hot tear that run down your eye, your whole spine giving in to the wave of fear that shook you, resulting in your head jolting in shock. Your hand shot to his, gripping it with force to bring it over your stomach, your fingers clinging onto his while pressing hard in between his knuckles.

"Don't say that shit, you're not dying Jean, get that thought out of your idiotic head," You inhaled through hitches "I'm going to die a pitiful death if you leave me."

"Please don't do that." Jean clenched his teeth.

"Then don't die too you idiot."

Another rush of a few raindrops started pouring, this time even more quickly that before. The grass under your feet swayed, each spiky peak bending and bouncing as the weight of the rain hit the ground. Big blotches of water were now forming on your attire, waiting your skin as they came to connect with each other, darkening the brown color of the linen skirt you were wearing. Jean wrapped his hand tighter around you, rubbing his cheek to the top of your head again with mellow force, as if trying to assure you it would be okay for you to stay there for only just a moment more.

And you begged to listen to his silent proposition.

Letting his hand rest loosely over your swollen stomach, you took a deep breath, allowing your self to flex your toes inside your shoes. Your indstep steamed as the little strap squished you so hard that you tried your best to convince yourself you weren't going to deal with a blood clot. You hated that you had come to despise your favorite pair of shoes. All you ever wished for was that then would just fit you like normal. Still, even to that thought, the little being inside you took half a leaping turn, giving another kick to the top of your stomach.

Had Sasha been here she would have told you something to help you get your mind off of it. She would have teased Jean for not being able to keep it in his pants and you would have laughed, feeling the tentuon easing off.

Still, the kick, that most women would have found one of joy, only turned your insides like clothes swept by a tide.

"I want to throw up." You announced, half looking at Jean

"Because of the kick? Or the thought of it?"

"Maybe-maybe both."

It was then that another kiss was planted in your forehead. The raw sound of lips smacking filled the air against the drenching water of the rain, giving a little antsy essence to the gesture. Jean rubbed his closed mouth against your skin with his eyes closed in his best effort to help you calm down.

"Now now," He whispered "It wouldn't be the best thing to throw up in the cemetery, would it?"

With closed eyes, you pouted and shook your head twice in response.

"Okay then, I have a proposal for you."

"What?"

"Want to go visit Marco's grave? And then get you somewhere warm? And changed?"

Your pout intensified amd you fixated your gaze at the ground with furrowed brows. The nauseating feeling in your stomach was coiling begging to obertske you, but there was something so warm about Jean's sweet tone that fought it violently, so much that you could even feel your face loosen up as you melted under his touch.

"Yes, I'd like that."

"Okay then."

You shivered slightly as Jean took his arm off of you and dug it to the ground, giving himself a little prompt as he bend his knees closer to his body before stretching them to get up. Next, he leaned towards you, extending a long arm to your side, his thick, enormous palm stretching as it signaled you to place yours in it. Lifting a hand to his direction faintly you manages to place your palm into his and soon you managed to feel his fingers tighten a grip over your knuckles.

Still though, you couldn't find it in you to get up.

You stared at Jean with brows that screamed in apology, lifted skin littered with regretful lines. You had been feeling heavy lately. Everyone knew that, everyone who laid eyes on you questioned hoe you even managed to walk normally. But today you had struggled to get out of bed so much that you had even considered asking to be carried to Sasha's grave, knowing full well that you were too heavy for this to be a reality.

"You can do it."

"Give me a second, I can feel my lower stomach pulsating."

Jean eyed you with concern, his thumb quick to rub a circle over the knuckle of your pointer finger. You only gave him a mixed look next, squeezimg him just a little as you started pulling his hand. You had to get up. You couldn't stay in the rain until someone picked you up bridal style. Thus, you gave a little push. Just a teeny, tiny push to prompt yourself up and meet Jean halfway.

"Oh, oh crap."

In that moment you couldn't even think of a worse mistake that you had made in your nineteen years of life.

"What?"

You didn't want to believe it. No. It couldn't be happening now.

"Uhm, my water just broke."

"WHAT?"

"There's fluid leaking down my thigh and I'm pretty sure I didn't just pee myself. I wouldn't do that in a graveyard."

In between Jean's petrified expression and the trembling pain in your core, you somehow found yourself be eerily non panicked about the happening. As much as you wanted to scream from the pain, as much as you felt like your feet where going to give out, you were nowhere near turning pale yellow like Jean.

"Was this supposed to happen so suddenly?" Jean breathed heavily.

"Well" You cursed under your breath as you clutched over your stomach "I have been overdue for some days now and, ah fuck this is painful-"

"I'm really, really freaking out right now. What. Do. We. Do?"

"Calm down, let's go to Marco's grave."

"What? No!? Your waters literally broke. They broke, oh my god I'm going to be an actual father." Jean let out a chocked scream while running his other hand through his hair and gripping despairately on the roots.

"Jean, okay I migh-" A sharp pain went through your core "I still have a lot of time until my contraction is big enough for the baby to come out."

"This can't be safe."

"I'm telling you!"

Jean took a deep breath. His chest rose and fell, his shaking fingers steadied just a tiny bit, his trembling feet suddenly felt just a little more steady. This wasn't a time to panic, of course, he knew that far. The look you were giving him, even though it was pained, screamed that he could trust you; despite either of you having absolutely no idea about childbirth, he knew that having an anxiety attack this early into labor would only cause a worse experience for you.

Plus, he was the one who suggested they you'd visit Marco, and he wasn't about to say no to you at your current situation. With a hand bend over his hip, he prompted your own to snail through it for support. At least if you were going to do this, he'd basically walk you there. Pressing his lips together, Jean gave you an longing look, letting a deepnsigh escape the depths of his chest.

Eagerly you nodded at him, linking your arm with his. You softly dug your button lip under your upper flesh, trying your best not to bite into it as another rush of pain washed through you. Having contractions this frequent only meant that you had to rush and you knew that better than anyone else, but there was this little voice in the back of your brain that begged you to not take this moment away from Jean. With a final little stroke at Sasha's tomb and a tear running down your wet, stinging eyes before you matched away and to the direction of Marco's grave, you let yourself think you could hear her say a tiny good luck to you.

"Okay, let's go see Marco alright?" Jean said with a hint of glimmer in his eyes "For five minutes."

"Okay and then I'm going to go and have your child."

"Quite literally."

Taglist: @sasageyowrites @ackermans-freedom-inc @melancholicmonologue @ladyofpandemonium @levisbrat25 @callmepromise @hawkssnugget @berrijam @thethyri @nobody-knows-anymore @lzrers

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