#it may have sounded like i was subtly trying to reject him and i get that | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

starstruckmoony · 1 year

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I am sooo glad you take requests! Feel free to decline this if you dont like the idea but can you write a fic with either James or Sirius (your choice :)) in which the reader fears intimacy and like has a hard time trusting people, which makes them not believe James/Sirius’ love so they think the flirting is just a friendship thing. And they cant understand why reader keeps running away but when they find out the reason James/Sirius tries to convince the reader to give their relationship a chance? I hope you like the idea, thank you so much in advance!!

thank you for the request anon!! sorry for taking too long with this, exams got in the way so my motivation for anything was pretty much below zero :") but i loooove this idea, so here you go! i hope you like it! <333

daylight.

masterlist

pairing - sirius black x reader

trope/tags - friends to lovers, fluff

word count - 3.6k

warnings - language

sirius black was what one may call a heartthrob. winning everybody over with the snap of a finger, being the main topic on everyone's diary pages, having people fall to their knees with a simple glance sent in their direction. some wanted to be him, some wanted him. he loved the attention, of course, the thrill of having so many people fall for you was rather addicting thing for a teenager, but he wanted someone else, and that someone just happened to be you. and it wasn't just a simple type of want, the "let's snog in the broomstick closet a couple of times till i get bored of you and find another", no. he wanted all of you. sirius black was in love, but it was really not going his way this time.

"i don't know why i keep getting rejected." sirius whined hopelessly, tossing his tie somewhere on the floor in frustration and slumping down onto his bed. the mattress squeaked from the impact, making remus look up from his open book.

"you've been on nine dates." james pointed out, trying to calm the other down. nine didn't seem like a big number to him (as he had gone on at least 30 with lily before she agreed to become his girlfriend), so the poor bloke got ignored. sirius kept on rambling thoughtlessly.

"that's the bloody problem, nine dates, prongs, nine! and you know what? they weren't even proper dates. not even proper dates! do you hear that? like are you getting that? not. even. proper. dates. fuck!" sirius grunted, falling back into his pillows with a rather distressed sounding sigh. remus rolled his eyes.

"they weren't?" peter chimed in. he wasn't usually the one who showed much interest in his friends' love lives, but he sure found whatever the hell sirius had going on with you rather intriguing.

"'it was lovely hanging out with you sirius, you're a wonderful friend.' after each and every single one so, no, don't think they were." peter felt guilty for cringing, and he could only look towards sirius with a sympathetic glance.

remus, on the other hand, was finding the situation a bit ridiculous. he simply couldn't suppress a snort, and sirius did not fail to catch it, "what are you laughing at?"

"you." he threw a pillow in remus' face.

"give it more time, mate, i'm sure it'll work out eventually." james was really trying his best to reassure his best friend, but it was never easy with sirius. especially not now that you were in question.

"don't you think i'm trying? i'm– fuck. fucking fuck." he put his face into his hands, groaning loudly in distress."i think i'm gonna go mental." he said dramatically.

"seems like you're very serious about this, sirius." remus said nonchalantly, drawing laughs from both james and peter. sirius inhaled sharply. he was, indeed, very serious about you. it wasn't everyday that he actually felt like he was falling somebody, and it certainly wasn't everyday that he, sirius black, one of the most confident blokes in the whole bloody school, was turning red trying to talk to a person. and you just kept rejecting him, subtly that is. friend this, friend that. friend, friend, friend. he loathed the word. he wanted you, and not in the platonic sense.

"you lot are shit mates, you know that?" sirius huffed angrily, crossing his arms and sulking like a frustrated toddler.

"we love you too, padfoot." james blew a kiss his way, jumping up onto his feet when sirius began chasing after him with a wand in hand. they sped down the stairs from the dormitories and into the common room - sirius was yelling and james was laughing hysterically. the pair ran past the sofa where you and lily were sitting. you were pretty sure they fell over somewhere outside the portrait hole and were probably wrestling judging by the sounds they were making.

"that's the man you fancy, huh?" marlene scoffed from the corner of the room, giving you a judgemental stare. you shrugged, scratching the back of your neck in thought. yes, that was the man you fancied indeed. sometimes you wondered why, but then he'd lock his eyes with yours and every sense of doubt and uncertainty would wipe itself away. it wasn't all that easy, though.

"and lily's gonna marry his other half," mary put a hand over her heart, "how romantic." she wiped away a fake tear.

"romantic?" marlene said in disgust.

"oh sod off, you two." lily rolled her eyes. "sirius isn't half-bad." her way of speaking was so honest, it was suspicious. you squinted your eyes at her skeptically.

"what? can't really chat shit when my boyfriend is basically the same, minus the lack of critical thinking and self-awareness." lily winked at you. you put your face into your hands, screaming into them. you heard mary snicker.

"are we talking about the same james?" marlene teased, raising an eyebrow. you suppressed a laugh.

"we get it, you hate men." remus rolled his eyes as he appeared in the common room, and let himself fall onto the couch right next to you. he stared at you in amusement when he noticed your regretful expression.

"something on your mind?" he questioned.

"sirius," mary coughed, "sirius." she coughed again.

"oh." remus laughed to himself, and then went quiet. you thought, hoped, that the conversation would come to an end there, but remus had different intentions.

"do i create drama or not?" he said in thought, trailing his eyes over you and your friends. you pursed your lips in thought.

"oh, please do, the last interesting thing that happened was when marlene and dorcas were found snogging in the forbidden forest after attempting to use the imperius curse on one another." mary said desperately.

"and that was two months ago." lily added.

"i hate all of you." marlene made a face, and stuck a hand down her pocket to pull out a cigarette.

"alright then," remus smirked, throwing an arm around you, "sirius threw a tantrum about five minutes ago because you keep rejecting him." your eyes widened. you stopped breathing for a moment. what the hell?

lily's jaw dropped in amusement, marlene burst out laughing, and mary appeared to be coming up with plans on how to organise your wedding ceremony. for real this time.

"i'm sorry, what? he what– he did– remus–" you stumbled over your words, not knowing how to form them. sirius fancies you. you flung yourself backwards into the couch, your face was painted with worry. sirius black threw a tantrum because you rejected him. sirius fucking black threw a tantrum because you rejected him. "merlin's bloody beard, what the hell?" you ran your hands through your hair, exhaling exhaustedly.

luckily, none of your friends were that oblivious, and they quickly noticed that you weren't taking piss acting like nothing of this sort had ever actually been brought to your attention.

"hey, why the face? that's good news!"

"am i experiencing the consequences of miscommunication again?"

"i thought you fancied him!"

"are you okay?"

questions, so many questions and shocked and confused faces left and right. as much as you hated to admit it, you did owe them an explanation. this wasn't the only occasion on which people tried to tell you sirius was into you, but it was different this time because it was coming from remus. sirius was into you. he was into you. he was fucking into you. he wasn't just playing around like he does with others.

"i know, mary. and no, remus. and yes, i do, marlene. and honestly, lily, i don't know." you said it all in one breath, tiredly sighing. you'd been head over heels for the man for years, yet it always felt off. no one knew why though, you never brought it up. your friends knew you fancied him, but you never dared to tell them why you were pushing him away whenever he tried to initiate something. in truth, you were afraid of relationships and you feared intimacy. it wasn't something you could just overcome overnight. you had a difficult time trusting others and you were always vary of who you shared your secrets with and who you would open up to, anyway. so the thing was, it only became worse when it actually came to dating and falling in love.

to top it all off, sirius was naturally flirty, so you too, naturally, brushed it off and chalked it up to his normal, daily behaviour. you'd seen him jokingly flirt and kiss james, and mary, and marlene, and even remus who slapped him for it once, so you simply couldn't envision sirius returning the feelings when he was acting like every single one of his friends was also his significant other. all of that put together felt like an absolute train wreck and you didn't know what to do about it.

both lily and remus soon had their arms around you, and were looking at each other as if they were trying to find a way to telecommunicate and figure out what was wrong. marlene and mary moved over from the corner they were sitting in to the floor, and they were in front of you, with worried and comforting eyes.

"you can say what's wrong, y/n, it's alright." mary said, squeezing your knee reassuringly.

"we won't tell a soul." marlene added with a smile.

"it's just that– i'm– fuck," you started, not knowing if you should talk. you met lily's troubled expression and swallowed the lump on your throat,"i'm so horrified of relationships and sirius is– he doesn't– i thought he was just fucking around and i don't even know if i can trust him to not break my heart and i just– he's the same with everyone, you know, flirting and and all that and i don't want to be hurt and it feels like shit. actual, fucking shit. and intimacy– merlin, don't even get me started– it's scaring me, all of it. and then in the end– i just start feeling like i won't ever be loved, like truly loved, you know?"

"y/n–"

"don't 'y/n' me and try to say you understand." you snapped, "do you know what it feels like? looking at everyone around you all cuddly and giggly with their boyfriends and girlfriends and then feeling like you're going bloody mental because you want it too but you're fucking terrified of it all and then you can't tell if the guy you're into likes you back or not because he flirts with anything that fucking moves and breathes? no, you don't." you bit the inside of your cheek in frustration, and then tried to wiggle out of lily and remus' grasp, but they held you back.

"listen, to me, y/n. it's okay, alright? you're not going mental, or insane or anything like that. and i can assure you're not the only one who's felt like that before." remus said the words a bit unsurely, but not untruthfully. you leaned your head onto lily's shoulder.

"but, what can i do about it? i can't just ignore it all and hope it goes away." you said honestly. you had no idea what to do, and you were afraid that you had no other option but the one you wanted to avoid most.

"well, talking to sirius would be a good start." mary suggested. the other three nodded along.

"and then what?"

"then, assuming that he'll understand what you're saying, you'll feel better and maybe even get a boyfriend who will accept your fears won't force you to do things you don't want to do." lily finished, smiling affirmatively.

"but what if it doesn't work?"

"fuck him." marlene said without thinking, "no really, fuck him. you deserve someone way better, not some slimy prat who can't even respect the person he bloody fancies."

"fuck who and when and where?" sirius entered the common room, appearing rather dishevelled.

"speak of the devil." remus spoke under his breath.

"definitely not you, black." marlene stood up from the floor, returning to her spot in the corner and picking up her cigarette which was sitting in a make-shift ashtray. he flipped her off, and then ascended the stairs to the boys' dormitories.

the following week, something shifted. it's not like you and sirius drifted apart, you didn't, but he stopped being... him? no more hand touching, no more kisses on the cheek. but there were more questions, more asking of what you're comfortable with rather than just doing it immediately. and that's when you began suspecting he overheard your conversation with remus and the girls as you had sort of forgotten him and james were just outside the portrait hole.

in reality, that wasn't really the case. sirius just became kind of, well, depressed. after his little outburst in the dormitories, he lost all of that little hope he had for starting a relationship with you. he didn't know what he was doing wrong, and why you kept putting him in the friendzone when his friends had been telling him that you were clearly into him. was it you? was it him? was it neither of those things?

he became cautious. didn't want to touch you anymore, scared thinking that it upset you. didn't want to flirt with you either, terrified that it made you feel uneasy. his melancholy over it all began projecting onto everybody else around him.

james gave up on attempting to comfort him because he himself was too exhausted by sirius' constant state of dread. peter stayed out of it. and remus, well, remus was fed up with him and would have probably murdered him on a couple of occasions if james wasn't there to jump in and snatch his wand away.

"i still don't know what i did wrong. can someone tell me what i did wrong? 'cause i don't know what i did wrong!" sirius buried his face into his pillow, screaming into it. same thing, over and over, every day, every night.

james and peter glanced at each other, no words exchanged, and they both pretended to be occupied with something else. remus tried his best to ignore him, and continued writing the essay he was working on.

"is there something wrong with me? like geniuenly is there? am i fucked up? oh no, i might be fucked up, what if i really am?" remus' quill snapped. james let out a huff of frustration. peter hid in the bathroom. and sirius kept talking.

"y/n hates me, i just know it. it's 'cause i'm fucked up, that's what i get for–"

"merlin's beard, will you shut up?" remus finally snapped. sirius pouted, looking up at the ceiling with glossy eyes. the other boy sighed, standing up from his own bed and walking over to sirius'. he wasn't planning on ratting you out, you were supposed to talk to sirius and tell him everything yourself, but remus was tired. tired of looking at his friend go through a major case of self-destruction, and tired of having to endure it all. so remus talked, maybe when he shouldn't have, but he did not regret one bit of it.

***

"are you free right now by any chance?" sirius burst into your room a week later, uninvited and without making any previous announcements.

"uh–" you dropped your notebook and quill, awkwardly tossing them to the side, "yeah, definitely. "

"fantastic, let's go." he grinned, stuffing his hands into his pockets and trotting out of the room. you stood up from your bed and quickly put on some shoes, following after him. you happened to pass by james who gave you a pat on the shoulder. one more reason to think him and sirius know. great. fantastic. amazing. the lake was looking rather attractive today.

"where are we going?" you asked once you were by sirius' side.

"was thinking about a walk, nothing too crazy."

"oh, yeah, that sounds nice."

that's what you did. walked and talked around hogwarts, and in the end found yourselves sitting at the said lake despite the clouds which started covering the sky. sirius never brought up what happened the week before, but you weren't sure if you could stay quiet any longer. it stressed you out more than all of your stupid exams combined, and really, he was going to find out one way or another.

"are you alright?" you asked. not a bad start, you told yourself.

"mhm, why wouldn't i be?" he responded, falling backwards into the grass in sighing in content. you followed his movements, lying flat onto your back.

"i don't know, you're too... alert. acting like i'd break if you touch me or something." you said, fumbling with your hands.

"what?" he turned his head to the side to look at you.

"you heard what i said that night on saturday, after we got back from hogsmeade, didn't you?" you were looking at him too.

"what are you on about–"

"how i said i fancy you but i'm scared of dating you because i'm horrified of getting intimate and i don't know if i can trust you not to hurt me?" you explained, thinking that it would help him remember. or stop playing around with you. he was quiet. you regretted speaking, and were ready walk off, and probably would have if he hadn't grabbed you by the hand when you tried to.

"no, wait! just wait, please." he choked out. and so you did.

"i stopped it all because i thought you didn't feel that way about me," he began, you listened attentively, "everyone told me that you did, and that it would work out and stuff, but i don't know, you always made sure i knew i was your friend, so i figured i should stop pestering you and just settle for that instead." he finished with a shrug.

"oh, no, sirius." you groaned, hugging your knees to your chest and burying your face into them. "and then, uhm," sirius licked his lips, as if he was trying to find the right way to form whatever he was going to say, "remus told me, uh, the same thing you just did." you looked up and at him, scanning his face for any sign of judgement and disappointment, but there was none of it.

"i was convinced he was taking the piss at first or trying to set me up for embarrassment or something 'cause i was getting on his nerves, don't even know what was going through my head," he laughed at himself, "but then i thought about what he said, and i was trying to find a way to talk to you and uhm..." he scratched the back of his head. "turns out i'm not that cool. every time i told myself i'll try, i felt like running off somewhere and hiding 'cause i was horrified you'd reject me. still am, honestly but that doesn't matter 'cause i still– i still wanna be with you, y/n."

you opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out. sirius black left you speechless once again. he wanted to be with you, even after knowing that what he might get won't be like all of those others relationships he's had before.

"look, i really like you, and i don't think i've ever felt that way about anyone. i know that it doesn't sound convincing coming from me, but it's true. i wanna be with you, like i really, really do because i love you and i–" he cursed silently. a smile began forming on your face, and he wasn't even done yet. "can you give us a chance, please? i'll talk to you, you'll talk to me, we'll communicate everything, if i'm doing anything that's bothering you i'll stop, i'll ask questions, i'll try my best to make it feel right for you, i'll fullfill any wish you have–"

"sirius."

"and if you still don't feel ready or if you're still having doubts, it's okay. i'm not gonna force you to date me, we can be just friends, or break up and still be friends, or break up and never–"

"sirius!"

"what?"

"stop talking."

"okay."

"we can date."

"what?"

"i'll give you a chance."

"oh." he stared out at the lake in shock, his mouth hanging open slightly. "oh!" he turned to look at you, and the smile that stood on his face was brighter than any star in the sky. he pressed his own hands against his cheeks, touching the as if he was trying to check if they were warm or not.

"am i turning red?"

"a little bit." you snickered, your eyes never leaving him. the relief you felt was indescribable. you'd gone out with him today, terrified of what might happen, thinking that you'll lose him forever. and then there you were, with sirius black blushing right in front of you because he was madly in love with you.

"can i uhm–" he cleared his throat, shaking his head for a moment in attempt to get out of the haze that he was stuck in, "kiss... you...?"

"yeah." you said the words in a small voice. the panic on sirius' face was pretty noticeable, and you would have probably laughed in his face to cope with awkwardness you were feeling yourself if he hadn't kissed you before you could. he hesitantly cupped your cheek with his hand, but when you let yourself relax into his touch, he was calmer too.

you pulled away from each other after a few seconds, and you could see that sirius was having hard time holding back a grin. this time you laughed in his face, he laughed at you for laughing at him, and the cycle only continued.

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rphelperblog · 1 year

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Truly Devious Book Quote Rp Meme

book by Maureen Johnson- feel free to edit or change pronouns for rp purposes

“You have to take things as they are, not how you hear they're supposed to be.”

“There is nothing so serious as a game.”

“But I’m usually right. The people who worry are always right. That’s how that works.”

“I’m a strong believer in truth in advertising.”

“When you have enough power and money, you can dictate the meanings of words.”

“As a writer, are those really the words you want to use?”

“You have to take things as they are, not how you hear they’re supposed to be.”

“I like to look nice when I go to see His Majesty, the Burger King.”

“Panic attacks are mean little freaks.”

“Why was she so anxious? Because she had anxiety.”

“I always wanted stories to be real, so I started writing my own.”

“Anything is better than doing what I'm supposed to be doing.”

“Where her books were, she was. Get the books right and the rest will follow. Now she could address the rest of the room.”

"I'll drink the living blood of trees,- maple syrup.”

“Few words are more chilling when put together than make friends.”

"Believe me. I'm aware. It's an effective way to communicate if you don't have any other options. If you can't get in through the door, throw a rock through the window. And I think maybe you're the same way.”

Their idea of what constituted interesting was so limited. They were never going to have as much fun as she did.”

“His voice was deep and smooth and rich, like what gravy might sound like if gravy could talk.”

“What serves on either side, and if you wish to hide, may protect you from your foe, or show him where to go?”

“Sometimes you have to leave the fucking Shire, Frodo.”

“Games are not fun when you don't know you're playing.”

“How could she be anxious when everything was so cheerful? Very easily, as it happens. Brain chemistry doesn’t care about how pretty things are.”

“Meet my dead dad,"

“Money should never stand in the way of learning.”

“We have a limited emotional vocabulary. We’re indoor kids.”

“The whole thing smelled like a thrift shop that had been baked in a low oven and felt like a too-tight and too-long hug by a rejected Muppet.”

“He had a smile like a hammock—just get in, go to sleep, forget your troubles and cares.”

“The moon was thin like a hook, and the owls were calling. The smell of fall leaves blew on the wind and he was dead.”

“The thing about looking just a little bit means it’s really easy to look a little bit more.”

“There is something about early mornings that changes your perceptions subtly. The light is new; no one has put on the defenses of the day. All is reset and not quite real yet.”

"It's not bad or good. It just is. That's something you'll find out if you decide to go into this line of work. You have to take things as they are, not how you hear they're supposed to be.

“There is something about early mornings that changes your perceptions subtly. The light is new; no one has put on the defences of the day. All is reset and not quite real yet.”

"I liked you from the first moment I saw you, when you looked like you wanted to punch me in the face for just being alive. That probably says something dark about me. And I think you like me because I annoy you. Both of us have real problems, but maybe we should make our weird personalities work for us.”

“People say depression lies. Anxiety is just stupid. It’s unable to tell the difference between things that are actually scary (being buried alive, for example) and things that are not scary at all (being in bed under the covers). It hits all the same buttons. Stop. Go. Up. Down. It’s all the same to anxiety.”

“How did everyone else know how to do yoga?

The one advantage to all of this was that it cleared Stevie's mind of everything. She heard exercise did that. Was this what they meant? You were so busy being confused and trying to stop your sweaty hands from slipping on a mat that you couldn't think anymore?”

“There is a mistaken notion that wealth makes people content. It does the opposite, generally. It stirs a hunger in many - and no matter what they eat, they will never be full.”

"How would I know? Do I look like I go to a lot of dances?"

“That was something they taught you in anxiety therapy- the thoughts may come, but you don't have to chase them all. It was sort of the opposite of good detective work, in which you had to follow every lead.”

“Shock is a funny thing. Things get both sharp and fuzzy. Time stretches and distorts. Things come rushing into focus and seem larger than they are. Other things vanish to a single point.”

“Last things were so strange. Most people had no control over of what their last acts would be.”

“Sherlock said, “I consider that a man’s brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose.”

#maureen johnson #open to all #open to anyone #open rp #ask meme #rp meme #open meme #open to anybody #roleplay meme #ask prompt #memes #book rp meme #book quote meme #book rp #booklr #open to everyone #open roleplay

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eddysocs · 5 months

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A Date With Despair (Thomas Thorne x OC)

Summary: Ella is going out on a date and Thomas is beside himself with longing and sadness.

Word Count: 667

Warnings: Angst, jealousy

Ella's phone chimed with a notification, signaling a match on the dating app she’d signed up for nearly a week ago. Pulling her phone from her pocket, she grinned, her excitement clearly evident to the onlooking Thomas. She sent a quick message to her match, asking if he’d like to catch dinner that evening, her fingers typing so fast she had to go back and correct several typos before sending it. She received a reply only a minute later and he’d agreed. Now, she had to prepare.

Thomas lingered at her bedroom doorway, not wanting to intrude. She’d hardly made a passing notice to his being there at all. Ella spent most of the day getting herself ready. It had been a while since she’d had a first date and nothing seemed quite right for the occasion, either too dressy or too casual, too much makeup or not enough.

Meanwhile, Thomas came and went, trying to work up the nerve to even speak to her. He was torn between confessing his feelings and asking her not to go or maintaining the friendship they had built since her arrival. Though he could not help but feel a pang of jealousy and longing deep within him, was it right of him to speak on it? Surely, Ella deserved happiness and he himself could only offer so much. She could have a life with this man from inside the phone. What could she truly hope to have with him?

The memories of how poorly his feelings had been received by Alison still haunted him. Could he even bear the thought of another rejection? His heart ached as he observed Ella in front of the mirror, subtly adjusting the dress she’d chosen, her radiant smile lighting up the room. She was going out with someone else, and he had no right to interfere.

As Ella finished her preparations and headed for the door, Thomas couldn't stop the heavy sigh that escaped his lips. He felt like he’d become a coward, unable to express his love for the person who had brought light into his afterlife. And now, all he could do was watch her walk away, the weight of his unspoken words settling over him. Thomas had always been open about his feelings before, but what had it gotten him?

Throughout the time that Ella was away on her date, Thomas couldn't shake the sense of melancholy that enveloped him. He grappled with the realization that he might never experience that happiness with her. Of course, his fellow ghosts played it off as his usual dramatics, but it was different this time. He may have fawned over Alison, but the pain had never been this real.

Once she returned home, Ella couldn't help but share the details of her evening with Thomas and the other ghosts, unaware of the thoughts that had plagued him all day. It seemed she’d had a good time. Thomas couldn’t focus on the details, but she was laughing as she told the story, so she must have. He was so caught up in his own thoughts that he didn’t even realize that the room had cleared. It was just him and Ella now.

"Thomas? Thomas?" Her voice came through to him like the dispersal of a thick fog. He blinked and focused on her, feeling ashamed for having brought the mood down. "Are you alright? It’s like you’ve been someplace else all night."

"Fine, I assure you," Thomas attempted, sounding more confident than he felt. "Soul of a poet, you know. We are prone to bouts of melancholy."

Ella offered a sympathetic smile. "That may be true, but if it’s something you want to talk about, you know I’m here, don’t you?"

"Yes," Thomas replied. "However, I think the issue needs more rumination before I speak of it."

"If you’re sure," Ella said, punctuated by a yawn. "I suppose I’m off to bed. It’s been quite the day."

"Ah, it has indeed. Goodnight, Ella."

"Goodnight, Thomas."

Forever Tag: @arrthurpendragon, @baubeautyandthegeek, @foxesandmagic, @carmens-garden, @bossyladies, @getawaycardotmp3, @misshiraethsworld, @kmc1989, @curious-kittens-ocs, @fanficanatic-tw

#oc: ella greene #fc: lily loveless #fd: bbc ghosts #ella x thomas #thomas thorne #thomas thorne x oc #bbc ghosts

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captaingondor · 1 year

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If it's not too late, may I request any or as many of these that strike your fancy, please? "Subtle" for Roslin & The Machine, modern AU for Corianne & Seyetto, "Blue" for Rinnyx & Aderin, and "Conversation Hearts" for Kestrel & Sergio. Thank you!

Thank you! Here's Seyetto and Corrianne; others may follow (in reblogs? separate posts?)

Seyetto felt deeply uncomfortable about being set up on a blind date, but it beat all of the other options. He would rather walk across hot coals than attempt to use a dating app. And hoping to run into someone he would be interested in by pure chance was not a reliable method. When was he going to have the time to meet someone socially, never mind go through the whole song and dance of trying to figure out if they might be interested before even getting to the “asking out” stage? The entire process sounded mortifying from beginning to end. But Seyetto did want a family, which would require a relationship, and that wasn’t going to happen without going through some sort of process. The days of arranged marriages or mail-order brides were gone, more’s the pity. So a blind date it was.

Tavina had fussed around for hours trying to pick out an outfit for him that would give a good first impression, before he had rejected all of her advice and worn what he usually did. “What’s the point in giving a first impression that isn’t accurate?” he’d muttered, grabbing for the tie that Tavina had insisted he ought to leave off. “The truth will come out eventually, and if she doesn’t like it then I won’t waste any time if it puts her off right away.”

“I just think,” Tavina had countered, arms crossed, “that you should dress for a date, not a board meeting.”

He couldn’t help but wonder now if she had been right, as Corrianne looked him up and down, briefly but not subtly enough to be missed. Was that a skeptical look on her face, or curious? Interested? There was too long of a pause before she shook the hand he had offered. Did you shake hands on a date?

“Sorry, do you shake hands on a date?” he said a bit sheepishly.

She laughed. “Well, it is a bit soon for a kiss, and you’ve got to do something when you meet someone, don’t you?”

“Just what I thought,” Seyetto said, trying not to display his relief. He hadn’t really thought it through that much, shaking hands was just an instinct - maybe he was treating this like a board meeting - but he did agree. He stepped around to pull out Corrianne’s chair for her - he did know to do that on a date.

“Oh!” she said, sounding surprised. “Traditional.”

Was that good or bad? No matter. He knew how he felt about it. “If you didn’t know that about me, I don’t think Rinnyx prepared you adequately,” he said, smoothing his tie as he sat (he didn’t care what Tavina said, it was absolutely the right look.)

It had been Rinnyx who had set them up, of course. The only other person Seyetto would have considered allowing to do such a thing was his Uncle Hartin. He had expected that route to be more likely, but since getting with Aderin, RInnyx had developed an interest in romantic relationships that had been wholly absent in his life before, and he had a very wide circle of acquaintance.

“I didn’t ask him for too many details,” Corrianne replied. “I thought it would be better to meet you and see for myself.”

Seyetto had had a long series of questions for Rinnyx before he had even considered agreeing to this, but he did not feel inclined to admit so now. And what happened to honest first impressions? “Because you trust his judgment, or because you don’t?”

“I don’t trust anyone’s judgment on who I would be interested in more than my own.”

In most things, Seyetto trusted no one more than himself, but this was one area where he did wish he could surrender all of the decision making to someone other than himself. But who?

No, he had to do everything himself after all.

"Rinnyx could sell ice to an Ornali," he said with a smile, "but I'd rather not be sold if I can't sell myself, so to speak."

Corrianne replied with a smile, her eyes glinting. "Oh, indeed."

This was going well! "Good, good. So we're on the same page…" He pulled a notepad from his pocket and glanced down at the first bullet point. "Do you want kids?"

Corrianne, who had just been taking a sip of water, sputtered and narrowly avoided disaster, carefully bringing her glass back down to the table. "You aren't even going to wait until we've ordered appetizers?"

"I don't want to waste your time," Seyetto said, holding her gaze steadily. "Or mine. I'm sure you have your own dealbreakers. So do you?"

If she couldn't handle this, she wasn't the one for him.

Corrianne squared her shoulders. "I do. Ideally, two to four."

Seyetto nodded briskly, and checked off the first two points.

And Tavina had told him not to wear a tie.

#something i wrote #seyetto #corrianne #red and gray

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the-cosmic-gentle-giant · 3 years

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Asteroid Narcissus (37117)

I need to preface this before you get into it. Don't take this seriously as not all asteroids are prominent in your chart and no asteroid alone dictateswho you are, therefore it's ok if you don't relate. Also, narcissism is generally more likely perceived by other people than by narcissists themselves.

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

In astrology Narcissus represents exaggerated self-focus, an inability to see others point of view or consider their needs, excessive pride in ones own appearance & rejection of others or rejection of something in general.

In mythology, Narcissus was said to be a strikingly handsome young man. He was so handsome that he usually garnered the attention of anyone willing to win his affections (usually unwanted) and he would reject their affections. One day it so happens he rejected the love of a group of nymphs and in anger they called on the Goddess Nemesis to curse him. She did so, by having him fall in love with his reflection which he saw at a nearby pool. Cursed to be in love with it, he could never look away after gazing into the pool and withered away from hunger trying to gain the love of the man in the water.

Asteroid Narcissus in the Signs:

🏅Aries~ You pride yourself on your competitiveness, high energy, innovation and ability to stand up for yourself and what you believe in, helping you stand out as a leader. However, sometimes your innovative ideas and competitive nature could do more harm than good and you are then quick to lose your shit when someone points this out and suggests slowing down or going by the book instead. Standing up for yourself then becomes needless aggression in the face of what you perceive as a challenge/threat to your pride. You are also quite aggressive when someone opposes your beliefs and reject anyone who tries to change said beliefs (things have to go your way).

🏅Taurus~ You guys pride yourself on how practical, talented and resourceful you can be and your willingness to see things through to the end in achieving your dreams. However your pride and focus on realizing your own dreams could make you ignorant of other's dreams, belittling them as it doesn't serve the purpose in you achieving your own. Physically you could pride yourselves on the sound of your voice as a stand out feature. I also regretfully inform you that Donald Trump has this placement prominently in his chart.

🏅Gemini~ You pride yourself on your opinions and even knowing the latest gossip. Added to this your pride also extends to how witty, analytical, imaginative, original (in terms of thoughts) and articulate you are. When your ideas and opinions are brought into question you could be quick to sell a lie, manipulate or gaslight someone into taking your side, completely rejecting other's ideas/opinions, even if your own are damaging, wrong or hurtful.

🏅Cancer~ You pride yourself on how kind, sensitive, nurturing, creative and empathetic you can be. Your ability to make others feel comfortable/cared for and your emotional intelligence is your greatest joy...that is until someone paints you as the villain. Your insecurities and sensitivity then get the best of you and you then try to emotionally manipulate people to regain your lost pride. You possibly reject the idea of other people experiencing tough emotions and being sensitive too, as you might believe how you feel is the only thing that matters.

🏅Leo~ You pride yourself on being loving, generous, brave, loyal, entertaining and even humorous. Your ego and acts of showing off on occasion is greatly tied in with your pride. Unfortunately this leaves little room for the ego of others and you may even take a crack at theirs to inflate your own. When other people have a gap to show off what their proud of, you may meet this with disdain and subtly try to redirect that attention to yourself. If it is not received you could even make a scene just get that attention (you low-key might not like the idea of someone being better than you at something and the attention it brings them). Queen Victoria had this placement.

🏅Virgo~ You pride yourself on your skill for critical thinking and your analytical approach to life as well as you being honest, trustworthy, a candid speaker and astute learner. It's only natural that if people attacked your mind and intellect or just paint you as a control freak, that your anxiety boils into you lashing out. Your strengths of being critical and analytical become irrevocably dangerous as you use them to pick apart every detail of your offender until their self-esteem and pride is ripped to bloody shreds, your pride finally restored and you having proven your point.

🏅Libra~ You pride yourself on your looks and on being a fair, just, charming, sweet, graceful, somewhat passive and balanced person. When your life is unbalanced though, you tend to paper over the cracks and quickly deny or ignore those who pick up on these troubles. Your balance is upset by those who crack down on your appearance or oppose you on your sense of justice and even your persona. In an attempt to restore balance you will people please, charm and gaslight others until their perceptions of you and their own views on situations match the ones you have in mind. Their validation inflating your pride and their own validity reduced to rubble in order to serve you.

🏅Scorpio~ A tricky one you lot were. You pride yourself on your awareness of your emotional depth, you being magnetic, compelling, empowering, mysterious, determined, focused and investigative. Your ability to transform those you meet and the intensity you wield also count among this. In your pride however, you can have a complete disregard for the emotional depth of others and could even come across as controlling. If these people are to make it clear to you, they'd wish the kept quiet. You power hold will tighten to a chokehold as you exercise manipulation and cruelty to restore your pride, silencing them out of your own fear and creating a reverence for you out of fear in others.

🏅Saggitarius~ You pride yourself on being optimistic, wise, open-minded, adventurous and being able to search for a truth, as well as possibly being an inspiration to others. Sometimes you're so big on adventure ans searching for your own truth that you fail to consider the need for stability and structure in others and failing to acknowledge that your truth is not shared by everyone and that they might not take kindly to being forced into said truth. Your blind optimism leaves zero room for realism and are quick to slander those who berate you for the above mentioned. In the process becoming ignorant, self-righteous and sanctimonious.

🏅Capricorn~ You pride yourself on being ambitious, cool, commanding, steadfast, practical, high-achieving and supportive of others (as long as their goals are realistic, viable and don't overshadow yours). You could be so focused on your own ambitions that you completely reject and disregard the aspirational and emotional needs of others in favor of your own. In fact, this exaggerated self-focus could have you come across as cold, ruthless, restrictive and controlling. You want to be at the top and only you can be at the top, meaning you will do anything to stay there, keep others from getting there and somehow still keep your pride intact.

🏅Aquarius~ You probs have an unholy superiority complex, but let's get into this anyway. You pride yourself on being genuine/authentic, free-spirited (in a quirky, eccentric and eclectic way), non-conforming, humanitarian and original. This also extends to your views in life and your nature as an activist. This unfortunately, if negative, could make you quite elitist, judgemental and imposed to extreme views. This renders you incapable of seeing the opposing pov which is sometimes necessary to humble you. You're also inconsiderate towards others feelings, views and ways of expression, rather judging them as you can't understand why people can't be more inclined to do what you do. Sweetheart, masks sometimes have reasons beyond superficiality and people will not always share your views and causes in life.

🏅Pisces~ Ngl you guys were just outright difficult to interpret. You pride yourself on being spiritually inclined, creative, freedom loving, intuitive, soothing and being a dreamer. At worst you could fail to consider the need for logic, realism and boundaries of other people and could become quite defensive when they do set boundaries, tell you spirituality and creativity doesn't solve everything and that dreams are sometimes just dreams. Instead of react in anger though, you resort to a victim complex to garner sympathy, guilt tripping people into restoring your pride for you and holding their loyalties on a line whilst you yourself are a flaky thing.

Asteroid Narcissus in the Houses:

1st House: Narcissus in mythology is said to be extremely beautiful and as such his influence is placed on you too, meaning you beautiful af. You tend to put a lot of focus and pride on your beauty and generally gorgeous appearance. You might give off the impression of being vain and self obsessed.

2nd House: Ever heard the saying "Money can buy happiness...😏" You could be very focused on what you own and how to own more, as this wealth is your pride and buys you the glory you desire. Sometimes you may be unable ro understand the struggles of those with less than you materially. Your value system prioritizes yourself above other people.

3rd House: You may have difficulty understanding the pov and needs of your siblings & those in your immediate area. (exp. classmates and neighbors) Your exaggerated self focus could have you dominate the conversation and topics are usually those to your liking. You need to learn that you are not the only & most important participant in a conversation. Perhaps you could have a narcissistic sibling.

4th House: Getting Rapunzel and Mother Gothel vibes. Your mother or the maternal influences in your life could have been very narcissistic, as a result neglecting your needs for security and being nurtured. You may prioritize your own sensitivity, overlooking that of others as it doesn't relate to you or your problems. You might take pride in where you come from.

5th House: Your kids could become narcissistic or that's how they could experience you, being more self-obsessed than caring for them. You could attract narcissistic lovers (gtfo if they show up). The 5th House is also about ego and self-expression, so in general you could come across as very self-absorbed...like no one else matters as long as you are the one shining.

6th House: Extreme focus and pride on yourself & your appearance could be a habitual/routine thing. Co-workers especially can view you as narcissistic. It's likely that you go about your day where only your routine matters and you couldn't care less that others also have a life & routine to follow. In the work place you may present yourself as the best, no matter the facts and opinions presented to you.

7th House: It's possible that you can get into a relationship with a narcissist (once again gtfo if you're dealing with one). These people will often put themselves first before the relationship and your needs, causing imbalance in your life. The opposite is also applicable if your partner experiences you as narcissistic.

8th House: If you have this placement and bump into a narcissist, RUN!!! DO NOT ENGAGE!!! They would want to hold power over you, viewing you as a posession or resource of their own. You will not be seen as a person and your need for freedom will be overlooked. They would make you serve them for their own pleasures, including sex. This is likely an encounter that will transform you. Vice Versa is possible if you are the narcissist.

9th House: You ever have a teacher or lecturer that spends more time talking about themselves than the lesson material? Anyway, if you have this placement you're most likely to develop a god complex as this house rules religion. Occasionally you are so focused on your own growth and abundance that you just flat out...ignore that need in others.

10th House: You take great pride in & direct a lot of your focus towards building and maintaining a good reputation and social standing. This often means the needs of those around you are not seen to as your status takes precedence. You reject the love of those with lesser than your own status and have trouble relating to those with lower or higher status than your own. You pretty much see yourself as an authority and everyone else as an underling. This could also be experiences you have with authority.

11th House: Friendships can be quite strained and one sided for the narcissistic party. Your hopes and aspirations come first already making your friends a lower priority. You may see them and use them as a means to an end. You may have trouble relating to the struggles of your friends and humanity as they are not your own. Plainly, your friends could view you as a narcissist or you view one of them as one.

12th House: Narcissistic behavior is buried away in your subconscious. Narcissus in this house is your hidden enemy, be it your own self, other people or repressed trauma related to narcissism. Could have an exaggerated focus on the self through spirituality and understanding your place in the world to the point of forgetting others have needs that need to be seen to. Might have a "holier than thou" attitude.

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

I hope you enjoyed this long ass post lol. Have a cosmically beautiful day luvs.

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hunxi-after-hours · 3 years

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actually I think a lot about Hua Cheng and how he's actually such a subtly revolutionary character when it comes to, for lack of better phrasing, a positive portrayal of obsession

especially in a genre like danmei, which is overwhelmingly associated with female desire and female consumption and female fantasy and female obsession, there is to a certain degree always a looming specter of societal stigmatization when it comes to the nature of fandom and obsession

and what Hua Cheng as a character does is that he embodies obsession in a way that illustrates its powerful creative potential. He is Xie Lian's most devoted believer, yes, but tilt your head and shift it sideways, and Hua Cheng is Xie Lian's most loyal fan. Hua Cheng may not write fanfiction onscreen, but he sculpts. He draws. He carves. He paints. He creates, inspired by the image and actions of Xie Lian, based on very little interaction with Xie Lian himself prior to the events of the present day plot, and wow doesn't that sound like another relationship, between reader and fictional character, between fan and celebrity?

I actually think it's profoundly important that Hua Cheng isn't written as inherently talented in much beyond the dao--all of his knowledge and artistic ability comes from his motivation and his stubbornness. There are ten thousand gods in that grotto, carved with varying amounts of skill, because this is evidence of Hua Cheng's sheer determination and willingness to grind when it comes to doing something he believes in

Hua Cheng isn't necessarily born with gifts; TGCF does not try to argue that fate is wrong in the vein of look at how talented this unfortunate young man is! oh, what a shame it would be to let something as uncontrollable as predestined fortune get in the way of his success! No, TGCF has different views on how much control an individual can truly have over fate and destiny but that's a separate essay. Hua Cheng escapes his prescribed ending precisely through his obsession and determination, lingers on past his allotted years of life through sheer force of will alone, transcends the expectations everyone has of him, remakes himself and reshapes the world until it (well, at least the Ghost City) turns towards his desires

ascension to godhood in TGCF seems to be predicated on the harmonization of talent and action: you ascend based on the fulfillment of your potential, the realization and performance of that inherent skill/trait/virtue. And so, Hua Cheng ascends, more or less a martial god (y'all he went toe-to-toe with Bai Wuxiang and Jun Wu, this is not even a question), based on his skill with E'Ming, at a moment when he protects (the only other godhood I will accept for Hua Cheng is as a god of protection). But crucially, critically, fundamentally (and this is so fundamental to Hua Cheng's character), he rejects his godhood. He will not let this one aspect of his character define him; he is not satisfied with ascension, because he is more than that. His skill with a blade is, at best, secondary to the true driving force of his character--his devotion, obsession, adoration, love, care, and concern for Xie Lian.

god. Think about that for a second. Hua Cheng is not satisfied with godhood, because even divinity is not good enough for his devotion to Xie Lian

another separate essay could be written on the nature and function of godhood in TGCF, how it is both a recognition of talent/virtue and also a stagnation of the self, but the point is, Hua Cheng's obsession drives him to greater heights of achievement than any other being, godly or demonic, ever reaches

Hua Cheng as a character is a testament to the power and positivity in obsession and fandom, and perhaps, most importantly?

he gets his happy ending. His obsession does not consume him and leave him used up and empty and abandoned. It inspires him and improves him--it makes him better than he was before. It is the driving force of his motivation and purpose and love, and it literally saves the world

#this is not to romanticize obsession and the darker sides of fandom #Hua Cheng’s obsession is balanced with his utmost respect for the object of his adoration #and that is crucial to the hualian relationship #I just think that the fact that Hua Cheng’s adoration is not only presented positively and respectfully #but also is the very source of his immense power #is SUCH a statement. gosh.#also idk maybe Hua Cheng is inherently talented in many fields and we simply don’t see that on the page because Xie Lian is our POV! Sure!#but there is something so powerful in this interpretation so I’m just gonna leave this here #hunxi thinks about TGCF #did y’all miss me

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inkandpen22 · 3 years

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The Princess and The Pogue (pt. 4)

Pairing: JJ x Female!Reader / Topper x Female!Reader

Word Count: 5.5k

Warnings: swearing, angst

Part Summary: You wake up at the Chateau in JJ’s arms. When you receive a urgent call from Topper, you return to the Figure 8, much to JJ’s dismay.

Masterlist

You wake up to the sound of a faint buzzing. A small groan leaves your throat as you attempt to stretch out your limbs, but are trapped beneath the weight of an arm. Your eyes flicker open and adjust to the golden rays pouring in from the window. JJ doesn't even shift, completely unaware of your moving. You recognize the sound of your phone buzzing and dig around the recliner. You two must've fallen asleep during the movie. Kiara and Pope remain on the floor, sprawled out like starfish. The couch is empty, John B and Sarah are probably in his room. You finally manage to find your phone beneath JJ's hip. You do your best to slide it out without waking him. Slowly, you climb out of the chair, placing JJ's arm down gently.

“Hello?” You whisper, suppressing a yawn as you step out to the porch to not wake the others.

“Hey, Princess," Topper's worried voice echoes through the device. "Did I wake you?”

You settle down on the couch in a ball, shaking your head as if Topper can see you. “No, No, it’s okay," you lie for his sake. "Is everything alright?”

“It’s Rafe..." he sighs. "He kinda got outta hand last night and he hasn’t been to bed yet. He keeps saying he’s going to go to your house. I don’t think your parents should see him like this.”

“What?" Your brows scrunch together in confusion. Slowly, the events of last night are creeping back to you. You remember all of it, but some parts are only flashes like photographs. "I’m not even home.”

“Wait, where are you then?” Topper questions, sounding just as confused as you.

“I uh... I stayed at Sarah's," you conjure up on a whim.

“Okay..." he replies, not sounding fully convinced. "well do you think you could stop by my place or something? Rafe won’t shut up until he sees you. Thank God my mom left for Atlanta this morning. I can pick you up if you need.”

“No, it’s okay. I’ll uh... I’ll borrow Sarah’s car or something. I’ll text you when I’m on my way," you determine.

“Okay, see you then," Topper agrees, hanging up the phone.

You drop the device in your lap, resting your forehead against your knees. None of this feels real. What are you even doing here? One minute you and Topper are stumbling out of the locker room and the next you're making out with JJ in a hammock. Holy shit, you made out with JJ in a hammock! Topper is going to kill you! He can't know. No, he can never know.

“Morning Baby," JJ greets as he steps out onto the porch. He rubs his eyes as he walks over to join you.

“Morning, sorry that I woke you up,” you apologize.

"Don't be." He plops down next to you, bringing his arm to rest between your tucked legs. His hand is warm against your exposed knee. A part of you wants to cling to him like a koala, but your mind is also on Topper. "Who was that?” He yawns.

“Topper," you answer truthfully, though it was hesitant. "Apparently, Rafe is acting out and keeps asking for me. I’m gonna head over there to calm him down a little."

“Wait, what!" JJ's eyes widen, processing what you said. "By yourself?”

“JJ, it’s okay! It’s just Topper and Rafe,” you snicker at his dramatic reaction.

“Yeah! Rafe!" He repeats, turning his body toward you. His arm between your legs moves to your back and is replaced with his free one. "The guy who gave you laced weed, Babe!"

Your lower lip pouts slightly as you're appreciative of his concern though it's not necessary. Impulsively, you bring your hand to his cheek and he leans into your touch subtly. “It’ll be fine, we’re not going to do anything. I’m just helping out Top. Once we get Rafe to chill I’ll be out of there.”

“I’m driving,” he names his terms sternly.

Your lips part as worry starts to build up inside you. “JJ, I don’t think that’s such a good idea. I-“

“I wasn’t asking," he cuts you off sharply, his lips pressed together. “Either I go with you and wait in the car or you don’t go at all," he offers an ultimatum.

'Okay, that's hot,' you think to yourself.

You sit stunned for a second. As much as you hate the name, you're still the Princess of the OBX, no one talks to you like that or gives you ultimatums. Yet, you can't help but be utterly compliant when it comes to JJ Maybank.

“Okay," you nod, trying your hardest to not blush, but ultimately fail. "As long as there’s no Pogue vs. Kook fistfights," you add to the rules.

JJ notices your eyes wandering to his lips and leans forward with a smirk. “I can’t make any promises.”

You grin as JJ brushes his lips against yours, bringing you in for a kiss. When he woke up JJ was nervous that he fucked up last night and that you'd regretted everything. It's just JJ always assuming the worst to avoid disappointment. His arm on you was him testing the waters. After a second, once learning that you're not going to pull away, he deepens the kiss. Your fingers comb through his luscious hair and grip the roots slightly. His hand on your knee steadily glides down your skin, moving between your legs.

"Oh no!" You gasp against his lips, realizing something.

JJ jumps, breaking his lips from yours and flying his hands off. “Woah, what! Sorry!” He thought maybe his hand may have set you off or something. He’s not sure what your boundaries are or anything, everything is still so new.

“I don’t have a change of clothes!" You tell him.

“Jesus," he rolls his eyes, finally able to breathe again. "Wear my shirt you’re wearing,” he gestures to the black AC/DC shirt hanging on you.

You raise your eyebrows. “And have them start a fight? No way! They'll know it’s not mine," you explain stressfully.

"You're right, tell them it's your boyfriend's and to mind their own damn business," JJ determines with a carefree shrug. Only after a couple seconds does he process that he called himself your boyfriend, having not discussed that yet.

You raise your brows at his remark. A faint laugh escapes you, as if that would go over well with the boys. “As much as I would love to, I don’t think that would go well considering Rafe is already losing his mind.”

A rush of relief consumes JJ when you don’t reject him. In fact, he’s over the moon when you don’t deny that he’s indeed your boyfriend.

“So..." JJ drags out, gliding your fingers up and down your thigh. "Did you give Topper a specific time?”

“No, just that I’d be over as soon as possible." You smirk, already knowing what he's thinking. "Why?”

"Because if I remember correctly," he purrs into your ear with a smirk. "We were rudely interrupted last night..."

As much as you'd love to do what JJ has in mind, you owe it to Topper to show up at a decent time. "We have the rest of the day for that," you move back a little, much to JJ's disappointment. He groans, making you giggle. "If Rafe acts up any more than he already has and goes to my house I'm royally screwed."

"Okay, fine! Fine!" He rises up from the couch and offering you a hand. "But I'm holding you to your word! I expect full tomfoolery later!"

"Deal." You lean in and plant a peck to his lips, making him blush.

JJ grabs the keys to the Twinkie while you wait outside. You go over the plan multiple times on the way over, mainly to ease your nerves. JJ will park a few yards down the road, hidden behind the hedges that line Topper's yard. You will tell Topper that Sarah dropped you off and that you'll walk home because you live a few blocks away. Checking on Rafe will only take twenty minutes tops, but you're aiming for fifteen. You've done this before, taking care of Rafe. Get sick, chug Pedialyte, have Mcdonald's delivered, and put him to bed.

You text Topper as soon as you're on your side of the island.

Heading over now!

A minute later, you receive a response.

Awesome! See you soon! Thanks again Y/N/N. Owe you one!

JJ does exactly as planned, making sure the Twinkie can't be seen from Topper's house. Reluctantly, he lets you out without him. He warns though that if you don't text him or give him some sign that you're okay within the ten-minute time slot he's given that he'll come in after you. You promise that you'll text him a smiley face as soon as you get the chance.

You knock on Topper's front door a few times and wait for the tall boy to answer. After a few minutes you call for your friends. "Top! Rafe!"

"I don't want you! I want Y/N!" You hear from the backyard and make your way back.

"She's on her way!" Topper shouts.

"Dude! Just sit down!" You hear Kelce add.

"Guys?" You pop your head around the corner and find Rafe standing on the edge of Topper's pool, fully clothed in his suit from the night before.

"Y/N! Finally!" Rafe gleams, gripping a bottle of champagne in his hand.

"Thank God," Topper grumbles to himself as he approaches you. "Thanks again for coming," he greets with a kiss to your temple.

"Of course," you smile as you move toward Kelce. You give him a quick side hug as you greet everyone. "When did you get here?"

"About five minutes ago," he answers, breathless from trying to keep Rafe from jumping in. "Apparently I'm not good enough because he keeps asking for you."

"Hey, Rafe, what's up?" You call over to the boy as stumbles over to you.

"Geez, you are the most gorgeous girl in the OBX," he grins.

"Oh am I now? What have you been up to?" You asking, knowing the answer. He smells of weed, sweat, and stale alcohol. His suit will no doubt need some serious dry cleaning.

"Eh, nothing too exciting," he waves his hand and places an arm over your shoulder. "After you disappeared from the party the boys and I went back to do a few more lines. It wasn't as fun without you. Where did you go anyway? We looked all over for you."

JJ crosses his arms over his chest. "Yeah, where'd you go?" He repeats as if you didn't explain it before on the phone.

You frown at your best friend. Why is he acting like that? "Sarah convinced her parents to give her the car and she took me to her house while her parents were are the party," you repeat the story you rehearsed with JJ.

"But Sarah was still at the party after we lost you. She told your parents that you left..." Topper replies slowly, almost as though he's accusing you of something.

"Yeah, I was waiting in the car," you answer without hesitation.

"Right..." Topper nods with narrowed eyes.

You roll your eyes at Topper and bring your arm around Rafe. "Let's get you inside."

"I wanted to go for a swim," Rafe whines.

"That sounds so fun," you pretend, silently begging him to go inside without any retaliation. "Sadly, I didn't bring my suit."

"Come on, Y/N, it's not like I haven't seen you in your underwear before," Rafe chuckles as you cross the threshold of the sliding door.

"Nice, Rafe," Topper sarcastically remarks.

"Oh no, I think I'm gonna be sick," Rafe coughs, hutching over next to you.

"I got this one," Kelce shouts, moving to get his friend toward the bathroom.

Now that Rafe is inside and in the "get sick" stage, you move on to ordering him McDonald's. Knowing Topper's house like the back of your hand, you walk into the kitchen, leaving the boy in the living room. You hop onto the counter, your legs dangle over the edge. As you tap through your phone, Topper enters the room.

"Are you feeling better?" He checks on you with a smile, a complete 180 from the attitude he was giving you minutes before. "I was out of it but I vaguely remember us stumbling out of the locker room," he chuckles.

"Yeah we kinda went a little too far last night," you giggle, recalling the memory. "But I feel much better."

Topper nods, offering you a faint smirk. He parts your legs, resting his palms on your thighs. "I'm surprised Ward let you and Sarah take his new Porsche considering he won't even let Rose drive it."

Your heart races, shit. You didn't realize Ward took the Porsche to the party. When Sarah got to John B's she was in a BMW.

"He must've had a lot of whiskey or something," you ramble out.

The boy nods, bringing his hands to your hips. "Interesting... and-" Topper scrunches his brows together, glancing down at your body. "What are you wearing right now?"

Shit.

"It's uh... Sarah's," you blurt out what JJ said before you can think it through.

"Sarah owns a ripped-up AC/DC shirt?" Topper snickers, not believing you for a second.

"What? You don't?" You try to play it off.

"Did you end up borrowing Sarah's car?" He changes the subject quickly, making your furrow your brows.

"She dropped me off," you stick to your story.

"That's nice of her," Topper comments, stepping closer to you. Usually, you'd like having him so close, but there's an underlying tension between you that makes you anxious.

"For sure," you mutter, avoiding his gaze.

"So you need a ride home?" He offers.

"Nah, it's okay. I'll walk," you rush out.

Topper brings his hand to the collar of your shirt, his fingertips gliding across your collar bone to rest on the side of your neck. "I kinda needed to see your brother anyway."

You swallow hard, trying to remain calm. "For what?"

"We're supposed to go out to the course later," he matches your quiet tone.

"Cool," you nod faintly, starring down at your lap.

"You and that Pogue seemed friendly last night before I came over... " Topper insinuates.

Your head snaps up, meeting Topper's burning gaze. "Pogue? What Pogue?"

"The one bartending," he snickers mockingly.

"The blonde kid? Oh, not really," your brows scrunch together, nervously fidgeting with your phone case. "I only met him last night, didn't even catch his name," you lie.

Topper tilts his head to the side. "Isn't he friends with John B? He's been around the Cameron's place a few times."

"I haven't noticed," you shrug.

You can't tell whether he believes you or not. His stern expression never wavering. You feel trapped with his hands gripping your hips.

"He's certainly noticed you, hasn't he?" The boy remarks with a wicked smirk as he stares at your lips.

You shift your head back, taken aback by his words. "What does that mean?"

"Oh come on, Y/N," Topper mutters your name, not one of his usual nicknames. "You're telling me you didn't notice him looking you up and down? It's why I came over to the bar after your dance with Rafe. I already had a full whiskey on the table."

You snicker at the information, utterly amazed by the lengths Topper will go. "You ordered a drink just because you thought JJ was "too friendly" with me?"

Topper narrows his eyes at you curiously. "I thought you didn't know his name?"

Chills course over your skin as your breath hitches in your throat. Now, you remember that you haven't texted JJ and you're not sure how long it's been.

"You want to tell me what's really going on, Y/N?" Topper presses.

"Nothing's happening! I've gotta go," you snap, pressing a hand to his chest to urge him off of you.

Topper grabs your wrist, removing your hand from him. Abruptly, he slams his lips to yours. Desprately, he brings his free hand to the back of your neck, pulling you closer to him.

"Get-" you mutter against his lips as you try to fight him off. Instinctively you punch him in the chest, causing him to break from you. "Get off of me!" You gasp, hopping down from the counter as Topper stumbles back. "What the hell Topper!"

His eyes grow wide, comprehending what he's done. He reches for you, but you cower away. "Y/N, I-"

"No!" Your voice cracks as tears threaten to fall from your eyes. "You don't just get to do that whenever you feel like it! I'm not at your disposal when you want me!"

He nods frantically. "I know that! I didn't-"

"Ugh, whatever Top. I'm tired of this interrogation! You and Kelce can babysit Rafe without me!" You wave your hands as your march out of the room toward the front door.

"Y/N! Y/N, wait!" Topper calls after you. "Y/N!"

He follows you out the front door to the driveway in a panic. He can't believe he just kissed you, the one thing he swore he'd never do without your permission. He was just so desperate. He could feel you moving away from him and was panicking that maybe you were keeping something from him.

"Y/N!" Topper wraps his fingers around your wrist.

You yank your arm free as you spin on your heels to face him. "Don't grab me!"

"Don't walk out on me!" He barks, instantly regretting it.

Topper knows this isn't the way to get to you, but he's just so worried that you're slipping away. This wouldn't be the first time you two have fought this way, having it out in front of one of your houses. Similar to an old married couple, you two fight as passionately as you love each other.

"You don't own me, Topper!" You remind the boy.

"I'm just looking out for you!" He reasons in a shot.

"You're the one who's acting like my dad right now!" You scoff.

"Oh!" He laughs mockingly. "Is that what being an overbearing friend is called now?"

You huff, turning over your shoulder to continue down the driveway.

Topper stays where he is, yelling at you as your march away. "You know what, fine! Don't tell me what's going on! I just thought we were closer than that! I must've misunderstood all of last year, all of those late-night conversations and that weekend in Bermuda or all of winter break!"

"Oh, my lord!" You groan, tossing your head back as you stop in your tracks. "Stop being so dramatic!"

"What's he doing here?" Topper questions, his volume at a normal level.

You frown, following his eyes as they linger behind you. Turning over your shoulder, you spot JJ standing at the end of the driveway.

You hide your face in your hands. "Oh, Jesus-"

"You have to be kidding me!" Topper shouts with a chuckle of frustration.

"JJ, can you give us a minute?" You request calmly, giving the blonde a weak smile.

"You brought him! You bring a Pogue!" Topper can't help but laugh, shocked by how this day has gone to complete shit in a span of fifteen minutes.

Nervously, you rush over to Topper, pressing your hands to his chest. "Top, just go inside, okay!" You try your best to keep the situation civil. "I'll be inside in a minute-"

"You're on the wrong side of the island, Pogue!" He points to JJ over his shoulder.

"Just stick a cork in it, Prince Charming," JJ bites back from his spot.

You huff, using all your strength to push a stubborn Topper toward the front door. He towers over you and is much stronger than you, so it's a tall task.

"Prince Charming? Really!" Topper laughs. "Wow, got a real smartass here, Princess," he tells you.

"Just for the love of all that good and holy go inside!" You beg of him with a grunt as you continue to guide him inch by inch.

"Not until you get this trailer park trash off my driveway!" Topper bitterly remarks, loud enough for JJ to hear.

"JJ and I will go as soon as we're done here," you tell him calmly with a huff, giving up on moving him.

You step back, preparing to leave, but Topper grips your forearms. "No way you're leaving with him! No, you're staying here with us!"

When Topper grabs you, JJ loses all cool and storms toward your friend. "Touch her again and I'll kick your ass, Kook!" JJ likes to think he's been rather rational and on his best behavior up until this point considering Topper is treating you as his property.

"JJ! Don't!" You intercept the boy and though he could easily move you aside, he remains in your arms.

"As if I'd leave her with your tripped-out friend and cluster of misogynistic asshole!" He points at Topper aggressively.

"You don't know a thing about us, Pogue!" Topper pushes.

"Topper! Enough! JJ back off!" You instruct sharply.

With a growl, JJ walks back down the driveway, refusing to turn his back on the Kook. Cooling down slowly, he takes your hand, squeezing it tightly as he leads you toward the sidewalk.

"You leave with him now and we're done!" Topper declares, making you stop in your tracks. "I mean it! You leave now and you're a Pogue!"

"You don't mean that," you shake your head in disbelief.

He laughs wickedly, "I promise you I do! It's them or us! You can't have both, Y/N!"

It feels as though Topper has sucked all life from you. The light that he's kept going inside of you for so long has burned out. He's been your reason to be happy since you were kids and now he's threatening to desert you forever. All because you're falling for a Pogue.

Kelce and Rafe appear in the archway of the front door. Kelce frowns, "what's going on out here?"

"What's that Pogue doing here?" Rafe questions. He sees your grieving expression and his wild antics become a distant memory. "Y/N?"

You swallow hard, clenching your jaw in disgust at the Kook you once called your best friend. "Ask Topper!"

You yank your hand free of JJ's and run down the driveway in the direction of the Twinkie. JJ jogs after you worriedly. He unlocks the car and you rush to get in. As soon as you sit down, you hunch over in your seat, your head cradled in your hands. JJ climbs in next to you and starts the car. He glances over at you and a wave of guilt consumes. He can't help but think this is all his fault. If he hadn't gone to check on you, maybe Topper wouldn't have said what he did. You wouldn't be devastated and you'd acknowledge his presence.

JJ places a hand on your back. "Baby-"

Before JJ can finish you cower away from him, moving your body toward the window. His heart drops as a million worst-case scenarios start to play in his mind. You hate him. You hate him now because he cost you, Topper. Of course, he already thought about what it would mean if you had to choose between him or Topper. He just had a naive inkling of hope that maybe you'd choose him and be okay, be happier with him. Now, he realizes by your disgust of him that you would've chosen Topper if Topper didn't push you toward JJ.

_________________________________

The ride back to John B's is painfully silent. JJ had to turn on the radio five minutes in to drown out the overwhelming self-deprecating thoughts ringing in his mind. As soon as JJ rolls up to the end of the gravel driveway, you see the Pogues and Sarah gathered around the old bonfire eating breakfast. Not wanting to see them, you hop out, the car not even in park yet.

"Hey guys! Where have-" Sarah stops as she sees you run into the house. JJ climbs out of the van and slams the door shut, grumbling various cuss words to himself. "What's wrong with Y/N?" Sarah asks him once he's closer to the group.

"Topper called her this morning," the boy answers, pressing his lips together as he sits on an empty log. "Your brother was acting up and wouldn't chill out until he saw her. Long story short, I fucked up and intervened when things got tense with her and Topper," JJ hisses, clasping his hands together. "Topper told her that if she left with me that they wouldn't talk to her again so we left..."

The group is silent, exchanging worried glances. Sarah's jaw is nearly in the dirt. She never thought in a million years that Topper would ever say those words to you. JJ's knee shakes up and down as he hides his head above his knees. He rises to his feet, picking up an empty can from last night, and chucks it into the words with all his strength. "Y/N won't even fucking look at me!"

"That's not your fault, JJ," Kiara assures her friend, breaking the silence. "You did the right thing! Topper is a jerk!"

"She'll come around. It's probably for the best that she's cut off from them. Those guys aren't good for her," Sarah adds.

JJ exhales deeply, facing Sarah. "Do you know what happened last year or in Bermuda and Topper said something about winter break?"

"Oh..." the girl's face falls.

"What is it? Is it bad?" John B asks from beside her.

"Not exactly. Topper and Y/N... Well..." she struggles to come up with the right words.

You and Topper struggle to navigate your way through the pitch-black bungalow. You two have just gotten dropped off from the cantina in town. Half an hour before, Topper was doing body shots off of you. The boy leads you through the house, his hand wrapped tightly around yours. Through the moonlight, you notice a pillar right in Topper's path.

“Watch out!” You gasp, tugging Topper back.

“Oh shit!” He stumbles into you, pinning you against the wall.

“I told you to watch out!” You giggle and peek around the corner into the living room. “Oh my god!” Your hand flies up to your mouth.

“What! What is it?” Topper rushes out.

“Rafe and that girl from Brazil,” you whisper, suppressing your laughter.

“No way! You’re kidding!” Through the darkness, you can see Topper's eye grow wide as he steps to the side to see around the corner.

“On the couch!” You instruct drunkenly.

“Did they?” He wonders.

“I have no idea!” You giggle.

“Holy shit!” Topper laughs as he returns to stand in front of you.

“He was blasted tonight,” you remember. “Poor Kelce went to bed as soon as we got back."

“I didn’t mind it,” Topper mutters, gliding his fingertips up and down your arm. “Kinda liked it being just us...”

“Topper,” you whisper his name warningly, a smile on your lips.

“What?” He chuckles lightly, leaning in closer to you.

You shake your head, finding it hard not to blush. “We broke up almost a year ago. You and Sarah-“

“Are broken up," he finishes.

“Yeah, and remember how devastated you were no more than two weeks ago?" You try to reason with him. "You still need to heel and figure out what you want.”

“I want you," he whispers, brushing lips against yours.

“Top, I don’t think-“

Before you can finish, he kisses you softly. It's not the first time and you know in the back of your mind it likely won't be the last.

“You’re all I think about, Y/N,” he confesses against your lips. “I need to feel you again. I miss the way you taste.”

“Top...” You mutter breathlessly.

You shake your head, despite not stopping him. “We shouldn’t...”

“We deserve to, don’t we? After everything?" He reasons, tucking his fingers over the band of your panties. "You like me and I like you, we’re both single, there’s history, why can’t we?”

A million reasons cross your mind, the most important one, your friendship. You and Topper have always been complicated. Things get worse when you add sex to the mix, which is exactly why you two formed boundaries a while back. Then again, you two toss those boundaries out the window every time you drink too much.

One hand remains on your waist as the other slips down to the hem of your dress. His warm fingertips glide under the fabric, against your thigh. “Don’t you miss it? How we used to be? When we couldn’t get enough of each other," he smirks as a memory pops into his head that he's certain will get to you. “Our ski trip over Christmas.”

“Okay yeah, you win," you rush out, instantly pressing your lips to his desperately.

Topper snickers against your lips as he tucks his hands behind your legs and picks you up. Your legs wrap around his waist he just so happens to know effortlessly the direction to his room now. Though he was completely lost minutes before.

"They dated!" Pope's jaw nearly hits the gravel.

"No way!" John B wears a similar expression.

"Yes and no. It's more complicated than that," Sarah tries to explain

Kiara struggles to piece together the picture. "But I thought you two-"

"They were friends with benefits before we were dating. Then, when Topper and I started dating, they stopped. Topper and I took a break in the winter and they started up again but stopped after Y/N decided that she couldn't do it anymore. Finally, they all went to Bermuda for a week after Midsummers. They didn't plan on anything happening, according to Y/N, but it kinda just did. They've always had "a thing" for each other. It's only ever been a fling though," Sarah finally manages to lay out the hectic story.

"And you're okay with that?" Kiara frowns, wondering how Sarah fits into all of that.

"Nothing happened while we were together," she shrugs but is certain of her words. "I know without a doubt that Y/N would never do that to me. Plus, it was never dating-like... it was more hook-up-ish if that makes sense?"

"This is insane!" JJ finally voices his perspective, rubbing his hand across the back of his neck.

"I need a diagram," Pope adds.

"Wait, so Topper and Y/N are on-and-off again. Meanwhile, Rafe has a thing for Y/N. Does Kelce play a role in any of this?" John B brings up a good point.

Sarah shakes her head. "Not that I know of."

"That's one fucked up love triangle," Pope releases a pent-up sigh.

"This is why we have the "no Pogue-on-Pogue macking" rule. That friend group is a mess!" Kiara reasons.

"Topper and Y/N have always been super close," Sarah describes solemnly considering the recent turn of events. "She must be devastated! Even if he is an ass. He's only ever been good to Y/N. I was low-key jealous of her when I first started seeing Topper. He holds her up on this pedestal," she admits.

Suddenly, the screendoor creaks, making everyone turn their attention toward the house. Y/N marches out, back in her dress from last night.

John B breaks the silence. "Hey Y/N! Where are you-"

"Sarah, can you drive me home?" You ignore the boy on your way to Sarah's car, unlocking it.

Sarah stands slowly from her position. "Sure, but don't you-"

"Thanks!" You cut her off, already climbing into the passenger seat and putting the keys into the ignition.

"I'll... I'll be back later," Sarah stammers in confusion to her friends.

Everyone watches as Sarah back out of the driveway then turns their focus to a devastated JJ.

"I fucked it up. I fucked it up!" He screams, squeezes his hands into fists until his knuckles are white.

"JJ, it's okay! She probably just needs a minute," Kiara rushes out.

"I have her for two seconds!" He bursts, his face becoming red with frustration. "Two fucking seconds and I ruined it just like I ruin everything else!"

"Just give it time!" Pope tries to reason with him calmly.

"Goddammit!" JJ curses before bolting toward the driveway and out of sight.

"JJ!" His friends all call for him.

"JJ come back!" John B shouts to receive no response. "Well this day is officially shit," the boy huffs as he settles back down onto his log.

"Do you think they'll be okay?" Kiara worries.

"Hope so," John B whispers.

After Sarah drops you off, you hide away in your room for the rest of the day. All you do is cry. You already miss Topper more than anything. You need him. You'll always need him. Then, on top of that, you're torturing yourself for how you treated JJ. None of this is his fault, but you treated him like it was. You cowered from him to keep from crying. You didn't want to scare him away, but in the process, you pushed him away. While you're losing your mind, JJ is losing his outside his dad's house with a half-empty bottle of Jim Beam in his hand. He's looking to pick a fight. He figures that if he's in pain physically that the pain he's inflicting on himself mentally will go away. You started the day wrapped up in each other and in bliss. You're ending it both in pain and willing to do anything to make it go away.

________________________________________________________

Masterlist

Tags: @starkeythinker @bethii1 @thegunnerkelly @cc13723things @hockeybabe87

#obx fanfiction #obx jj #obx #rafe obx #topper obx #outer banks #topper outer banks #topper imagine #topper #john b routledge #kiara #pope #sarah cameron #rafe cameron #rafe fanfiction #fanfic

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freddie-weaselbee · 3 years

Text

Real//F.W.

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Language, mentions of sex, I think that’s it ?

Summary: One small favor. A trade. That was all it was. Mutually beneficial! Until things between Fred and Y/N and their new relationship get a little more complicated and cause too many prying eyes.

Prompts: Fake Dating with dialogue prompts “we could have prevented this!” and “did you know you talk in your sleep?”

Word Count: 4.7k

A/N: Day 3 of @theweasleyslut‘s 2k writing challenge

“I’ve made my list of rules which you will abide by and under no circumstances will be broken. Number 1: this ruse does not leave the shop. I don’t want random people on the street questioning me because you couldn’t keep your huge mouth shut. Number 2: I will allow you to kiss me on the cheek and forehead as often as you like, within reason of course, and you can give me a peck on the lips 3 times in total. I will keep track. And Number 3: Don’t take up the entire bed any more or I will be forced to push you onto the floor. Sound good?”

“Bloody hell, you are crazy aren’t you?”

“Just a little bit.”

Fred was starting to regret his previous decision of making this arrangement with you, but a jingle of his shop bell and glance at who was walking in quickly made those feelings disappear.

“Deal,” he said, eyes not leaving the woman who had just entered. “But we start right now and I want one of those kisses.”

You looked up at your friend, confused at his sudden nerves before you followed his line of sight and understood immediately. You sighed and ruffled your hair a bit, looking for a mirror to fix your makeup. “I’m on it, give me a few minutes.”

Fred nodded, still watching his target walk slowly through the aisles of his store. As she turned a corner you ducked into the back office, waiting for a good time to reemerge.

“Freddie!” A high pitched voice pierced through the ear, equal parts flirtatious and absolutely unbearable. Fred glanced up, pretending not to have noticed the girl before. Putting on a fake smile, he set down the product he was pretending to tinker with and placed his hands on the counter table.

“Brooklyn, hi! How are you?” he asked, hoping his fake politeness would pass as genuine.

“Ugh I am so good. So SO good actually,” she said, twisting a finger through her hair. “It’s been ages since I’ve seen you! I’m so glad you received my letter, I was hoping we could catch up, maybe over dinner sometime? I’ve had so many fine young men ask me out over the last few months, but none of them seemed to compare to you, my little Freddie Bear.”

He winced at the nickname, it bringing an onslaught of unwanted memories that he had desperately tried to forget. Brooklyn bit her lip and placed a hand on top of Fred’s, leaning in to accentuate her breasts and make sure Fred got a good whiff of her new perfume.

Very calmly, Fred placed his other hand on top of hers, now sandwiched in between his strong grip. “Brooklyn,” he said, faking sympathy, “you’re a lovely girl, and I’m sure any guy would be lucky to have you, but--”

“Hey, love!”

A voice interrupted Fred’s rejection, making a very surprised Brooklyn become absolutely enraged as she witnessed you come up and place a chaste kiss on Fred’s lips, smiling into him. Fred pulled his hands from Brooklyn’s grip and placed it instead on your hip, pulling you into him and placing another peck on your forehead. You both stared lovingly into each other’s eyes before a harsh cough stole your attention.

“And who is this?” Brooklyn asked, arms crossed angrily. She was glaring daggers at you, not even trying to fake sweetness for Fred’s sake.

Keeping his hand on your waist, Fred turned back to the girl who seemed as though she was about to explode. “That’s what I was trying to tell you Brooklyn,” he said, trying to keep his smile as pitiful as he could without it drawing suspicion. “This is Y/N, we’ve been seeing each other for a while now.”

You nuzzled into Fred’s chest for half a second before reaching a hand out to Brooklyn. “It’s so nice to meet you! Brooklyn, was it? I don’t think Fred’s ever mentioned you before, are you one of his childhood friends. Cousin, maybe?”

That had done it and you and Fred both knew it. He subtly fist bumped you under the counter as you watched the girl’s face become redder than Fred’s hair.

She opened her mouth before taking a huge breath and stepping back. “No, actually,” she said through gritted teeth. “I’m his ex-girlfriend. I left him to move on to much better things. Speaking of which--” she flipped her hair and smoothed out her skirt, straightening her posture to try to keep what little dignity she had left, “--I actually have a date. With a dragon trainer no less, and a very renowned one.”

“Oh really?” Fred asked. “That’s amazing. My brother, Charlie, is a dragon trainer as well, and he’s very well known in the community. May I ask the name of the lucky young man? Maybe Charlie knows him.”

Caught very off guard, Brooklyn rolled her eyes and turned to face the door. “That’s none of your business. I better be going, before we’re late to dinner at a very nice place, somewhere the likes of you most likely couldn’t afford.”

You felt Fred stiffen next to you and you squeezed his hand gently. “Have a nice time! It was lovely to meet you Bridget.”

“It’s Brooklyn,” she seethed.

“Oh right, silly me,” you said, shaking your head. “Bye!”

As Brooklyn sauntered out of the store, you turned to Fred and whispered seductively, just loud enough for the exiting girl to hear. “How about we have a nice night in tonight? I got something the other day that I’d love for you to see. Maybe after seeing it you’ll make me scream even louder than last night.” Fred’s face began to grow red and he had to discreetly adjust his pants, hoping you didn’t notice exactly what your words were doing to him.

Brooklyn slammed the door and practically ran down the cobbled streets, only screaming when she thought she was far enough away to not be heard. You and Fred both waited a few seconds before cheering and hugging each other, him patting you on the back for a great performance.

“Y/N! That was incredible! I knew I could count on you.”

“Yeah yeah,” you said, “I’m amazing, I know.” You smiled up at him completing the high five he was waiting on. “When you told me you needed help with a crazy ex I didn’t know you meant like actually crazy. She’s insane! How did you put up with her for so long?”

Fred shrugged, jumping up onto the counter. “She was hot and I was horny. Not much else to it.”

You rolled your eyes, jumping up to join him. A few days ago you wouldn’t have been nearly comfortable enough to lounge out on the shop’s counters like you were now, but that was before you were a permanent resident of Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes. Before you and Fred had made the deal.

“You want me to do what?”

“Please, Y/N, it would only be for a little while until this all dies down, I swear!”

You groaned and rubbed your temple, wondering how in the world a friendly visit to your friend’s shop would turn into something with much more commitment.

“You’re telling me that you want me to pretend to be your girlfriend? Why on earth would you need that?”

You were pacing around the shop, trying to avoid customers as to not involve them in this very personal conversation. Fred followed you, pleading for you to help him like the great friend you were.

“I told you,” he said, “after The Daily Prophet did that expo on the shop and made me and George out to be rich sexy businessmen, and I mean where’s the lie, all of my crazy exes have been sending me letters and trying to get back with me. I can’t stand it, there’s so many!”

“Yeah, you were never one for long-term relationships, were you?”

Fred hmphed but quickly picked up with his pleading once again. “You don’t understand, Y/N, it’s absolutely unbearable. It’s common knowledge that George and Angie have been going steady for years now, so he’s got pretty much no one after him. But me? I can’t handle it.”

He dramatically threw himself on one of the empty product tables, causing a couple kids to glance in your direction before quickly becoming distracted by one of the exploding jokes across the shop.

“Oh, woe is me, I have too many beautiful women throwing themselves at me, whatever am I to do?” you mocked, earning a nasty glare from your friend.

“I wouldn’t ask this of you if it wasn’t of upmost importance,” he said, straightening his tie and assuming a more business-like manner. “Those girls are crazy. Hot, yes, but crazy. And all you have to do is pretend to be dating me for a few weeks, a month at best! What do you say?”

“And what do I get out of this?” you asked. Usually, you’d never say no to helping a friend, especially Fred, but pretending to date him and having him practically use you to make other girls mad? You didn’t like the idea in the slightest. Well, maybe seeing the mad girls would be a bonus. You never cared much for most of the girls Fred went out with.

Fred’s face turned into an upward grin as he rolled his sleeves up and leaned forward. “I was hoping you’d say that. I hear that you’re looking for a place to stay, is that right?”

You nodded hesitantly, having an idea of where he was going.

“Well,” he said, pacing back and forth, “to keep up this charade we’ll need to convince everyone, including George and Angelina. You see, Angie’s friends with Alicia, one of the girls who’s been constantly OWLing me, and if she knew this was fake then she’d blow our cover for sure. Which means…”

You gulped.

“You’d have the pleasure of sharing the loft with me. You’d get a room, shared with me, and a nice living space all rent-free, and all you have to do is act all lovey-dovey and occasionally snog me. That sounds like an offer you can’t refuse.”

Unfortunately, he was right. You were tight on money at the moment and really had no other options. It was a deal you had to make if you wanted to stay afloat, no matter how much annoyance and embarrassment it would cost you.

Sighing, you let your shoulders slump, a sign of defeat. “You do know how to negotiate, don’t you?”

“Well I am a businessman.” Fred stuck out his hand, and with a slow, drawn out motion, you shook it.

It was the 4th night of living with the Weasley twins, or maybe 5th? The nights all seemed to blend together as you’d been having more fun than you had since Hogwarts. George and Angelina didn’t seem surprised at all when you and Fred told them your made up story about how you and Fred started seeing each other. In fact, they both said they always knew it would happen. You and Fred shared a laugh about that in bed that night, before he decided to take up all of the space on the small piece of furniture, prompting you to write your third rule.

Overall, it had been a great experience. Couples game night, movie marathons, gossip sessions with Angelina about you and Fred’s sex life (which you didn’t have to fabricate too much, you already knew too much from the incredible amounts of detail he used to provide about his dates with other girls). It was like being thrown back into a dorm room, and your old teenage self was starting to shine through again.

You stared at yourself in Fred’s bathroom mirror, very proud of how you handled Brooklyn earlier that day. She was one of the few girlfriends of Fred’s you never got to meet, probably because they only dated for a short period of time before she left him for the first rich snob to bat an eye at her. Out of everyone you could think of that he dated, she was by far the worst, which meant the next few days would probably be more difficult. It was easy making that bitch angry with smoke coming from her ears, but you didn’t know how good you’d feel about lying to someone a lot nicer than she was.

After brushing your teeth and donning your pajamas, your Hogwarts house colors of course, you crawled into bed and joined Fred, who was reading one of the novels you had recommended to him. “You like it so far?” you asked.

Fred took off his reading glasses and nodded, setting a bookmark in the book before placing it on his nightstand. “Surprisingly, yes. I didn’t think it would be my thing, but so far it’s actually really good.”

“Told ya,” you said as you laid down beside him. You and Fred were comfortable enough to share a bed with few problems except for his stupid long legs. You’d been friends for years and had grown way too comfortable with each other, so squeezing together each night wasn’t too out of the ordinary.

As you snuggled into the covers, Fred following suit, you mentally went over the schedule for the week.

“How many girls are there again?”

Fred paused for a moment, trying to remember what he had sent to each girl. “A few I was able to ward off via letter, the more sane ones, but there are still two more girls who insisted they pay me a visit. Addison’s coming tomorrow and Alicia the day after that.”

You nodded, although you ducted Fred could see it from his position. “Got it. Addison’s sweet, I liked her.”

Fred scoffed, wrapping an arm around your waist as he had started doing while you two slept. It was nothing more than platonic, Fred was just a touchy person. You told yourself he would do this with any semi-attractive girl laying in his bed.

“Yeah, sweet girl all right, until you come home to your entire apartment torn apart cuz she thought you were cheating on her because apparently you ‘took an extra 12 minutes of lunch break and it seemed awfully suspicious.’”

Your body reverberated with a small giggle, remembering how Fred had to crash with you at your old place while he was trying to replace all the furniture she had literally torn up. “That’s right, she’s almost as crazy as I am.”

“Almost.”

You wouldn’t have a hard time lying to Addison, you decided. It was actually kind of fun when you did it with Brooklyn. You could get really creative with this one.

You released a deep breath and closed your eyes, nestling back into Fred as he spooned you, claiming it was the only way he wouldn’t sprawl out and kick you in your sleep, which you knew was a lie. He’d find a way to kick you somehow. The git always did.

------------------------------

“That was surprisingly better than expected!”

You nodded gleefully, handing Fred a scone and coffee that you had picked up from a nearby bakery. Scaring off Addison had been even more fun than Brooklyn, you and Fred really getting into character and being as lovey dovey as possible. She seemed to take it well, but you wouldn’t be surprised if she triggered the security system tonight trying to break in and destroy the shop.

“And if I’m being honest it was actually kind of fun,” you told him, settling in behind the counter.

You raised your muffin to your mouth to take a bite but Fred’s huge mouth snagged a taste before you could, bending down and taking a chunk out before you could have any. “That’s disgusting,” but you had no disgust lingering in your tone.

“I agree,” he said through mouthfuls of muffin. “It was an excellent way to spend the morning. Bloody hell she would not leave!”

“At least she was nice about it.”

Fred reluctantly agreed before making another move to your muffin, one that this time you anticipated and you swatted his nose with a nearby newspaper. “You have your own, you greedy pig.”

He yanked the paper from your hand, using it as a napkin before the front page caught his eye. He quickly crumpled up the paper and tossed it into a nearby waste bin, something you wouldn’t have been suspicious of had he not done it so nervously.

“Fred, what’s in the paper today?”

He shifted to put himself in between you and the wastebin, his tall figure looming over you. “Not important, just more junk that no one cares about.”

You didn’t believe him for a second. “Frederick Weasley you move this instant.” You tried pushing him out of the way but it was like moving an annoying ginger stone wall. Trying another approach, you darted to the left before doubling back and running right, but before you made it two steps he picked you up and threw you over his shoulder. “Fred!”

You wiggled with all your might and finally made it out of his grasp, snatching the paper and unfolding it to read the headline.

Diagon Alley Playboy Finally Settling Down? Or Is Y/N L/N Just Another of Fred Weasley’s One Night Stands?

The color drained from your face and you slowly lowered the paper, reading the front page again and again. Attached was a blurry picture of you and Fred from the day before with you tucked into the side. The buggers at The Daily Prophet must’ve caught it through the store window.

“I’m sorry,” Fred said softly, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder. “I tried to keep things quiet, but I guess the press always finds a way in.”

You rubbed your temple slowly, trying to ignore the dread in your stomach. After seeing Harry Potter be brutally torn apart by the press for years, the last thing you wanted was rumors about you going around.

"We could have prevented this!” you exclaimed, slamming the paper onto the desk. “This is complete bullshit. We’re not even dating! I swear I’m going to march straight to their office and--”

“Don’t bother,” Fred said, completely exasperated by the constant coverage of his family. “It does absolutely nothing, trust me. As a close relative to a professional Quidditch player, The Chosen One himself, and his two best friends who literally saved the world, we’ve learned that nothing will keep them away. Especially since they pinned me as the player of the Weasley family.”

“But you’re not!” you said, getting angrier by the second. “So your relationships don’t last long, so what? You’re not some womanizing piece of shit that the papers say you are!”

Chuckling, Fred replied. “I know that, and you know that. But the rest of the world wants drama, so if they want to think I have a new girl in my bed every night I’ll let them.” He shrugged. “You get used to it after a while.”

“Well you shouldn’t have to,” you grumbled. “You’re one of the best people I know, and the world should know it too.”

Catching you off guard, you felt a pair of arms wrap around your torso and a head lay on your shoulder. “It’s ok, love, just one more day and then you can stay out of the papers forever, I promise.”

Sighing, you turned to face him and let a small smile shine through. “Thanks. But I still think it’s absolute rubbish what they’re doing to your character.”

“Me too, but at least you know what a charming and caring gentleman I am and that’s all that matters to me.”

“Aww,” you coed, “you love me don’t you?”

“Shh, don’t let the press hear! It’ll ruin the image they worked so hard to create.”

You hit your head against Fred’s chest. “Only one more day of this. One more to go.”

------------------------------

“Do you know you talk in your sleep?”

“What?” You were so busy trying to find something to wear that you had barely heard what Fred said.

“Last night, when you fell asleep. You said something funny.” He was sitting on the bed, adjusting his work tie and pulling on his socks and shoes. He looked...confused. Like he was trying to solve a complicated problem and he just couldn’t git the pieces together.

“Oh?” you said, growing nervous. Had you dreamt last night? You were racking your brain, hoping you hadn’t said something embarrassing.

You definitely had a dream, and Fred was there. You were at the shop...and Alicia came in! And…

“You were saying ‘Alicia, no, Fred’s mine not yours, I love Fred,” and umm, other stuff like that.” His face was heating up by the second, as was yours.

“Really?” you said through awkward laughs. “Must’ve been preparing for today, huh?”

Fred said nothing, instead choosing to focus on retying his shoes.

“Well,” you said, finally picking out your outfit, “I’m going to change, I’ll meet you down there later, ok?”

He nodded, still confused, and you rushed to use his bathroom before things could get more awkward.

You decided to take a nice, long shower to cool down, hoping that you could somehow wash away the embarrassment. So maybe you had a slight crush on Fred. Who could blame you? You’d been spending the last week cuddled up with him and spending so much time at the shop, not to mention acting like a couple in front of everyone. Who wouldn’t develop feelings?

But for some weird reason you had a feeling that this wasn’t a recent crush, rather something that’s been lurking right beneath the surface for a while. You groaned, hitting your head against the shower wall. This was not the time for this. You had a job to do, and Alicia would be here in 30 minutes so you had to hurry up.

Scampering down the steps 15 minutes later after using a drying spell and getting dressed, you stopped in your tracks when you saw what was happening across the shop. Alicia was here early.

From the looks of it, she had already made herself comfortable, leaning in to talk to Fred, who wasn’t doing anything to discourage the behavior. Instead, he was leaning in as well, laughing at a joke she just made.

Fury burned inside you as you watched the scene unfold. You knew from the beginning that Alicia would be the hardest ex to deal with. Not only had she been Fred’s longest and most intimate relationship to date, but she was also a really nice person, meaning you had no reason to hate her. But at this moment you did.

Alicia leaned closer, her nose almost touching Fred. What should you do? Did he want your help getting rid of her? Was he still harboring feelings and actually looking to reconnect? You saw him slowly lean in toward her, which you took as a sign to continue with your plan.

You were almost running when you reached Fred, who turned and seemed happy to see you. “Just in time,” he said the Alicia, “Alicia, you remember--”

You cut him off with a kiss, the third kiss you’d promised him. Except this one wasn’t one of the pecks you described on your terms and conditions. You pulled Fred down into one of if not the most passionate kiss you’d ever had, wrapping your arms around his neck and drawing him closer to you.

Almost immediately he pulled off of you, looking more bewildered than you had ever seen him. “I…”

“Well that was quite the spectacle.”

You looked over to where Alicia was standing, smirking at the two of you. Contrary to what you had expected, she actually seemed rather calm and actually amused at what she had just seen.

“S-sorry,” you said. Fred tried to say something but he was too dumbstruck to even get a word out. He just stood there, eyes wide and mouth twitching.

“Is this a bad time?” she asked. “I’m supposed to be meeting my fiancé for breakfast later so I can just come back another time if that works for you.”

“Your...fiancé?”

“Yeah!” Alicia beamed as she showed you her left hand, her ring finger adorned with the most beautiful engagement ring you’d ever seen. “Actually, the reason I’m here is because I just asked Fred if he wanted to be in the wedding as a groomsman. Or bridesmaid. Whatever works for him. Thankfully the big oaf said yes before you laid that on him, or else I think I’d be waiting a lot longer for an answer.”

Fred was still as frozen as ever, making you and Alicia chuckle. “Hey, it’s been forever since we’ve caught up, how about you and Fred go on a double date with me and Lee sometime?”

It took you a second to understand why Lee would be there, until it dawned on you. “You’re marrying Lee Jordan?!”

She couldn’t hold back her laughter at this, loving to see your reaction. “That I am! You’re obviously invited, I’m sending invitations out soon. I’ll hope to see you there, and don’t be afraid to reach out, alright?”

“Y-yeah, will do,” you said. Alicia looked up at Fred and then to you and winked, before waving goodbye and leaving the shop.

You refused to make eye contact with Fred, too embarrassed to even begin to talk to him. Maybe you’d just take 5 and take a walk down the street? That would help distract your brain from whatever just happened.

“Real?”

You turned around to the source of the voice, a now more interactive Fred. “What?”

“Real,” he repeated. He shook his head a few times, blinking rapidly. “Sorry, I just mean, that kiss was umm, it was real.”

Your breath hitched in your throat. The fact that you had kissed Fred, and an actual kiss at that, was finally hitting you. “Yeah, it was real, I guess.”

He took a step closer, his face assuming the puzzled look from the bedroom earlier. “Was...was what you said real too? From the dream, I mean?”

Now it was you who was frozen, feet stuck to the ground with no way out. What should you say? Confess your feelings and hope for the best? Or deny everything and try to work your way around this mess? You didn’t have time to think nor ration. Just act.

“Yeah. It was real.”

Fred nodded, pursing his lips and shifting his weight from foot to foot. “Cool.” He hesitated. “Would it be super crazy out of the blue if I asked you to maybe go out with me sometime. For real?”

A smile rose to your face, hoping that this wasn’t a joke. Slowly, almost shyly, you nodded. “Yeah, it would be a little crazy. But I’d say yes.”

Fred smiled too, a big toothy grin that only made you smile wider, before pulling you into a side hug. “Good, because you’re a little crazy too, so we’ll match on our date.”

“You’re a big dork,” you said, returning the hug. “What will the paper say when they see you with the same girl? They’ll probably explode!”

“I hope so,” he replied as he gave you a loving squeeze. “What I’m worried about is how we’re supposed to explain to George and Angelina that we’ve been faking this whole time and it’s only now getting real.”

“Eh, that’s a problem for another time. Right now, we’ve got some more pressing matters.” You gestured to the front window where a reporter was holding a huge camera, trying to snap a good picture of the two of you.

“I’ll handle it, grab me the dungbombs.”

“Yes, sir!”

You ran to assist Fred, head rushing with thoughts of first dates and future ones down the road. Of attending Lee and Alicia’s wedding together and getting completely wasted with each other. Of sleeping together each night, holding each other in an embrace that was now true and deep and caring. In a relationship that was now real.

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my-head-is-an-animal · 3 years

Note

hey! please can I request something where reader goes to confess her feelings to agent Coulson and finds him and may together in his office and gets the wrong idea, and then angst and then fluff in the end when reader realises she was wrong and he has feelings for her too? Please and thankyou❤️

Well, you asked for angst, here we go! x

Misunderstandings

Phil Coulson x Reader

Word Count: 3509

You’d been going back and forth for months, Trip had been pushing you to say something soon, especially with the new assignments coming up. You’d begun your usual training routine early in the morning, putting your headphones in and jumping on the cycle machine, you’d take it easy while you thought about what you were going to do.

On the one hand, having feelings for Agent Coulson was the single worst move anyone in your position could make, on the other, he made you feel good about yourself. He was always the first to encourage you to push harder in your training, the first to point out the good and then come up with constructive criticism whish didn’t make you feel like a failure. But he was your boss and there was no way in hell he would want anything more than that from you.

You traced over the memories in your mind of each time Agent Coulson had smiled at you because you did something well, or when he’d winked at you that one time while you were getting hounded by Agent Blake, the knowledge that there would be no repercussions. He’d always been so nice to you, but kept a good balance between caring and professional.

You knew you were in love with him and it was started to interfere with your daily life in a way that Trip was starting to notice. You would always be the first to ask a follow up question on Coulson’s briefs, the last out of the conference room, subtly taking a little longer than everyone else to pack up, you’d even stay longer in combat training just for a moment of time to watch him from the corner of your eye.

The reality was that this was killing you. You needed to do something about it and quick. If something happened with on mission, people could get hurt, it could cost lives and that was the one thing you couldn’t do.

Trip was giving you a knowing look from across the gym and you rolled your eyes, shaking your head as you finished up.

You spent the time in the shower trying to figure out what you would say to Coulson, you had to admit your feelings, even if he rejected you, at least you could move on with your life. Of course, if the possibility that he accepted your feeling came about, then… well… how could anything be more perfect?

It was difficult not to imagine him returning your feelings, you tried not to get your hopes up, he probably didn’t like you in the same way, but your mind couldn’t help but plant such wonderful images in your head.

You breathed deeply and knocked on his office door. You heard the faint sound of Coulson calling for you to come in.

One more deep breath, courage built up to maximum, you opened the door, going over your small speech in your head, knowing that everything could be okay, he wouldn’t be angry or upset, no matter what he felt, it would be fine.

You looked up to find all the words and courage and hopefulness flooding away. Agent Coulson was sitting on the edge of his desk, reading through a tablet as he usually did, but the sight of Agent May standing almost between his legs, fixing his tie was not a sight you felt you could ignore.

‘L/N? You need something?’ He asked, smiling at you.

You opened your mouth, but closed it quickly feeling like you might have thrown up. Agent May was paying you no attention, but Coulson was now frowning at you.

‘L/N? Is everything alright?’ He asked and you felt the lump forming in your throat.

‘Yeah.’ You blurted out, trying to smile and pretend your world hadn’t just shattered. ‘Sorry, I just… I had some questions… about the next assignment…’ that was a stupid thing to say and even he seemed confused. ‘But I just figured it out.’ Half laughing to hide your embarrassment. ‘So, weird when that happens, you know? Anyway, I’ll leave you both to it. Sorry to disturb you, Agent Coulson.’

‘L/N-‘ You heard him call your name, but you were definitely going to throw up if you didn’t get out of there soon.

You shut the door behind you and went immediately to the elevator, taking it to a random floor and finding the nearest filing cupboard. You sat down next to a filing cabinet, not bothering to turn the lights on and cried harder than you’d ever cried before. The pain in your chest was worse than any injury you’d ever picked up on mission, it made your throat ache and your eyes felt hot with tears.

Why did it have to be Agent May? Of all the people it could have been, Agent May was the one person you knew you couldn’t compete with.

A part of you was glad that Coulson found someone like her to be with, but the fact it wasn’t you just kept washing over and over in your mind. You were so unprepared for the idea that Coulson might have already been in a relationship, every other possibility occurred to you except that one. What were you thinking?

How were you supposed to look him in the eye again? He wasn’t stupid, he probably knows about your feelings and has chosen to ignore them on account of the positions you both held within SHIELD. You felt like a world class idiot.

You let your head lean back against the filing cabinet and decided to follow through with the plan to move on with your life, the sooner the better. You sent a transfer request through to HR and within half an hour you were newly assigned to Agent Blake’s team. It wasn’t perfect, but at least you wouldn’t be in constant communication with Agent Coulson and that was all you were looking for.

After a few minutes, composing yourself, wiping away your tears, focussing on anything else that wasn’t Agent Coulson, you left the cupboard and reported to Agent Blake’s office.

‘Agent L/N.’ He said, standing to shake your hand as you entered his office. ‘So, transferred from Agent Coulson’s team, I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t ask why?’

Of course he would lead with that. ‘Personal reasons, sir.’ You kept it brief, vague. ‘I needed to change things up.’

Blake eyed you curiously, before giving a sharp nod. ‘Okay. First assignment,’ he turned back to his desk to pick up his tablet. ‘Nothing too strenuous, just an extraction.’

Listening to Blake outline the extraction plan for one of his other teams was a nice distraction from what had happened that morning. You found a nice rhythm with Blake, he wasn’t as nice as Coulson, but then you expected nothing less from a man who literally had no sense of humour, at least not as far as you could see.

You finished up with Agent Blake and went down to meet your new team. They were all pretty much people you’d had vague associations with, you’d heard them on comms, you’d extracted a couple, you’d even trained with some of them, but you’d never really stopped to have a conversation. They were about as welcoming as everyone usually was, no one wanting to get too close or too attached, but friendly enough to get along.

Trip had naturally asked you about your transfer in the bar a few days later, but quickly realised what must have happened.

‘I don’t want to talk about it.’ You said, sipping your drink and trying not to dwell on it.

‘Fine,’ Trip nodded. ‘But Coulson’s furious about the transfer. Thinks Blake stole you from the team, has he made contact with you at all?’

You inhaled deeply. ‘He sent me a couple of emails, a few phone calls.’ I really did not want to talk about this.

‘And you didn’t answer? Did you even open the emails?’ Trip pressed, but I just rolled my eyes.

‘Why would I?’

‘Because, regardless of anything, Coulson trained you to be the agent you are. You at least owe him an explanation.’

You didn’t say anything. You knew Trip was right, he usually was, but you just couldn’t find it in yourself to

‘Okay, well, I’m sure it’ll all die down eventually,’ Trip took a mouthful of beer. ‘But you should tell him why you left, or at least that you were the one to put a transfer in.’

‘I’d rather not.’ You sighed, not even able to look at Trip. Your eyes scanned around at the other people in the bar, not that there was really anything to look at, but if it kept you distracted then maybe it was fine.

You looked back to see Trip typing on his phone. ‘You gotta go?’ You asked.

‘No, just updating Coulson on some stuff.’ He said. You frowned a little, not really sure why Trip would need to update Coulson on anything at this time in the evening.

You put it out of you mind quickly, you couldn’t bear thinking about Coulson anymore.

After another few days of working with Agent Blake, it became clear that Coulson had taken your transfer about as well as Trip had alluded to, even Agent May was irritable when briefing you on another extraction.

‘Agent L/N?’ She said, dismissing the rest of your team. ‘You’ll be taking point with a senior Agent.’

You had become a little less distressed when talking to Agent May, it wasn’t her fault you fell in love with the wrong man, she probably had no idea about any of it and so you made a point to try to be civil.

‘I’m not going with the extraction team?’ You frowned.

‘No.’ Agent May handed you a tablet detailing your part in the mission. ‘You’ll be assisting Agent Coulson with intelligence gathering. Shouldn’t take too long, few hours going through the footage as it comes in and send it over to the ground team for pick up in the morning.’

You swallowed, finding your mouth completely dry. ‘Right…’ you said, trying hard not to make it seem like there was anything wrong with that.

‘Problem?’ Of course she would see through it.

‘No, I just thought Agent Blake would be the one on intelligence gathering.’ You made it seem like a genuine concern.

‘Blake’s dealing with two ground teams and we’re stretched pretty thin as it is,’ May explained. ‘Coulson has a little time before his next assignment and I figured you used to be on his team, you know how to work together and this mission is time sensitive.’

‘Right.’ You nodded. ‘Makes sense, I suppose.’

May gave a look as if she’d just realised something. You heart was beginning to sink. ‘You were hoping to be on the extraction team.’ She said, giving you a faint smile. ‘I get it, I’ve seen you’re record, one more successful extraction and you’ll be level with Agent Triplett. I know you guys like to compete, but just remember the mission comes first.’ You felt your heart reinflate to normal size.

‘Yeah,’ you half laughed, mostly in relief. ‘Yeah, I know. I’ll never hear the end of it with Trip, but you’re right. Need to stay focussed.’ You swallowed, feeling a little better that your secret was being kept.

‘Good.’ May nodded. ‘Besides, it’ll be good for Coulson to work with you again. He’s missed you on his team.’ You frowned, not really knowing why May would tell you that.

You nodded and left the conference room, more confused than before. You focused hard on your instructions and hoped you could sort through the intelligence in less than a few hours, anything to not be left alone with Agent Coulson for any amount of time.

May informed you that Coulson was running a little late, but you should start going through some of the footage and documents sent back by the ground team. You had a list of key words and a small office to work in, it was one of the intel rooms, surrounded by screens, able to sift through masses of data quicker than any one person alone.

You wrote down the key words and pinned them up at eye level between two screens that had images of classified documents on them. You sat behind one of the desks and began jotting down and printing images of note.

You’d found a steady rhythm to your working process when the office door opened. Coulson. He gave you a small smile and you nodded in response, holding his gaze for a moment or two before looking back down at your notes.

‘It’s good to see you again, Agent L/N.’ He said, a little cheerfully, placing a large coffee down next to you. You didn’t realise he remembered your order, in fact, you couldn’t ever recall telling him how you liked your coffee. You cleared your throat, feeling him standing next you.

‘Thank you.’ You said, quietly.

‘Of course, why don’t you get me up to speed?’ Coulson put his own coffee down and removed his jacket, making you look away. You realised you’d read the same sentence three or four times without actually taking it on board. ‘You okay?’ Coulson asked.

‘Fine.’ You nodded. ‘I actually just started. Some of the photos from the second wave has just come through if you wanted to start there.’ You said, scratching at your notepad, pretending to be curious about something.

You knew Coulson was watching you, you just didn’t have the stomach turn around. He sighed and went to the other side of the desk to look through the print outs. You risked a glance and saw he’d rolled his sleeves up, you swallowed thickly, feeling all your old emotions bubbling up again.

You quickly shook them from you mind and inhaled deeply, refocusing on your task.

It was barely ten minutes of working in silence, before Agent Coulson spoke up.

‘You know, I just wish I knew what I did.’ He said, startling you a little. For a moment you were confused. ‘I know you handed in a transfer request, I thought maybe Blake had been trying to goad you into joining his team and I was pretty angry about that, but when Trip told me you’d requested to leave, I just… for the sake of my sanity, can you just tell me what I did wrong?’

You weren’t expecting him to say that. You expected maybe a little small talk, maybe a joke here and there about your old team, but not that. You blinked, not being able to look away from him.

‘You didn’t do anything.’ You said, a little quietly.

‘Clearly something happened,’ he was almost pleading with you. ‘I just want to know if I could have kept you on the team.’

You suddenly felt a harsh lump forming in your throat again. It was now or never. Coulson was clearly suffering the loss of you from his team and Trip was right, he’d made you into the agent you were today, he deserved something from you.

‘I…’ You looked down at your notes, not quite being able to look him in the eye. ‘I was going to come and see you, I came to your office to tell you something that I needed to get off my chest…’ why was this so difficult? You could feel him watching you, waiting for an explanation. ‘Agent May was there and I… I mean, it was obvious what it was… I just thought it would be better for everyone, considering why… I mean, I think leaving was the best thing to do.’ You’d made a mess of it, but Coulson didn’t immediately have any follow up questions. He just watched you for a moment, long enough for you to at least attempt to continue working.

‘When you came to my office, Agent May was helping me get ready for an undercover assignment,’ he said, clearly going over the day in his head. ‘She was fixing a mic to my collar beneath my tie. I couldn’t focus on anyone else at that point because it was all a bit last minute and I needed to get up to speed. I’m sorry if it felt like I wasn’t in the mood to talk, or if you felt you couldn’t talk to me about whatever was bothering you. You know how this place can be sometimes.’

‘She was… what?’ You’d stopped listening after he said Agent May was helping put a mic beneath his collar.

‘Agent May? She was putting a mic under my tie, I can’t do it myself and she was driving me over to the meeting point anyway. It was close to where her husband works, so it wouldn’t have looked suspicious.’ Coulson said, frowning.

‘Her husband…?’ You idiot. ‘Right…’ You world class idiot.

Coulson was just frowning, clearly thinking at a rapid pace and you felt your cheeks warm. You absolute moron! If you’d taken any amount of time to think about it, you could have remembered May mentioning her husband once when you and Trip were on your way to the bar after work, but you didn’t and now the man you were in love with was watching you mentally find a hole to crawl into.

It was another half an hour or so of silence, bone crushing silence. It was awful and you felt like even breathing a little heavier was a moment of embarrassment. You continued to work, jotting down notes, keywords and phrases, anything useful to the second ground team. You kept your eyes down and tried to block Coulson from your view, you felt like the biggest fool in the world.

‘It’s just strange that you would focus on May’s husband.’ He finally said, he didn’t look up from the print outs in front of him, but you could tell his focus had been compromised. ‘And on Agent May.’ You really didn’t like where he was going with this. ‘If I were anyone else, I’d say that Agent May in my office on that day was the reason you left, which could only mean you came to say something very specific to me that depended on me being alone in my office.’ He finally looked up at you and you were begging him not to say it.

You swallowed and felt the lump return to your throat. You looked down at you notes, having no real idea of what you’d been writing.

‘I’d rather not talk about this, Agent Coulson.’ Your voice shook, it cracked in all the wrong places.

You couldn’t keep a hold of the tears for much longer, you stood up to leave, but Coulson stopped you, gently placing his hand on the door. He was close enough that you could smell his day old aftershave and it only made the tears fall down your cheeks. You couldn’t bear looking up at him.

‘If I’d known, I would have done something sooner.’ His voice was low, almost a whisper, but you didn’t understand.

‘I don’t understand.’ You said, finally looking up at his blue eyes, you were trapped under his gaze and all those old emotions came flooding back to you. The pain, the desire, the joy, the loneliness, the want, everything.

Coulson blinked, letting his breath go, before suddenly sliding his hands around your face and pressing a desperate kiss to your lips. You felt yourself turn so he had you pinned between his body and the door. You felt his body press into you, and it was the single most perfect thing you’d ever experienced.

His mouth slid easily over yours, his hands moved from your face, down your neck to your waist and you could help but slide your own hands up his arms to his shoulders, groaning as he found what you liked easily and quickly.

Coulson eventually slowed down enough to pull away, his lips still grazing yours lightly. You both panted slightly and it took you a moment or two to realise that this wasn’t a fantasy, Agent Coulson really was holding you, kissing you, not wanting to be away from you. You couldn’t remember how many times you’d dreamt about it, hoped for it and now it was happening.

Coulson placed a light kiss to the side of your mouth and shook his head. ‘I should’ve said something,’ he said, disappointedly. ‘I was going to, once when we got stuck at that safehouse in Verona.’ He brought his hand up to softly stroke your cheek, wiping away any remnants of tears. He placed another feather light kiss to your lips. ‘But I didn’t know when we’d be rescued and if you didn’t feel the same way… well, it could have been very awkward.’ You felt yourself breathe a laugh. ‘I should’ve said something.’ He repeated, kissing you once more.

‘You think?’ You joked and felt him smiling into another harsh kiss.

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lokimostly · 4 years

Note

How would Loki react to an unplanned pregnancy?

Secrets

Loki x Pregnant!Reader

Word Count: 1,829

Warnings: fluff :3

A/N: I got like, 6 requests for this exact scenario. Y’all REALLY hungry for dad!Loki huh

“Oh, come now,” Volstagg thundered from across the table, a goblet of mead in his hand. “You sorcerers read minds all the time, I know it!”

“It’s not true!” You insisted, laughing. The midsummer banquet had long since ended, but Thor’s group of close friends – yourself included – had simply elected to move the party to his wing of the palace, where you could continue to revel and drink uninterrupted. “Seidr allows us to influence minds only.”

“I don’t believe it,” the red-bearded warrior decided. Finding your answer dissatisfactory, he turned to the more knowledgeable of the two sorcerers at the long table.

Loki regarded his gaze with the faintest of smiles. “Yes, Volstagg?”

“Can you read minds, Silvertongue?”

Loki took a sip of his drink, which he had undoubtedly magicked into a finer, more sophisticated liquor besides mead, and raised one dark eyebrow, keeping the table in suspense before shaking his head. “No, I can’t read minds.”

The group erupted. You and Loki shared a mutual smirk amidst the clamor, and you subtly leaned closer to him, speaking in his ear. “A good thing, too, or we would have no secrets between us.”

“Secrets?” He repeated, a confused smirk lighting his poet’s mouth as he lowered his goblet and met your eyes. “What have you yet to tell me?”

Butterflies fluttered in your stomach, and you forced them down with a nonchalant shake of your head and a light kiss to his cheek.

“Nothing,” You lied, covering genuine anxiety with a coy and playful tone that, hopefully, he wouldn’t see past.

You hadn’t figured out a way to tell Loki yet.

The only things keeping him in the dark were the medicines you had concocted for morning sickness, your own personal resolve, and time. Sooner or later, one of the three would fail. In retrospect, you had no idea how two intelligent sorcerers could make such a thoughtless error: both magic and herbal contraceptives were commonplace on Asgard, and yet neither had been used. You had no clue how Loki would respond to the news of a child; the two of you had never discussed it before.

You were drawn out of your thoughts by Thor’s rich, deep voice declaring across the room: “maybe not read minds, brother, but you can search them all the same.”

The party began to argue, and Loki held out a hand, quieting them. “Searching someone’s mind and reading it are two different ideologies,” he clarified. “To break and enter someone’s consciousness is a crime, and incredibly difficult besides. But opening a two-way connection? That would be something else entirely.”

“Read your fair lady’s mind, then,” Sif suggested, smirking wolfishly and setting her cup down on the golden table. “She trusts you. Tell us her thoughts.”

Loki raised his eyebrow and looked sideways at you, and you stalled. You were in no position to refuse. Reluctantly, you set down your goblet of cider and pulled away to face him, straightening your back. Your heart was pounding, but you hid it well, and gave him an easy nod.

The table discussion turned to a murmur as Loki inhaled deeply, stilling himself and narrowing his focus. His green eyes shimmered with seidr and you felt the push of his consciousness when it met yours, like a gust of wind. You shivered.Loki pried gently into your mind with a tangible gentleness, surveying the thoughts that came and went. You tried to think of anything but your secret and keep his attention on more mundane trains of thought: the events of the party, the growing discomfort of your dress, how unbelievably handsome he looked in your eyes.

Loki’s focus snagged this last thought and shook his head, his cheeks tinging with a light blush. “Don’t try and distract me,” he warned lowly, with a graveling tone that sent a pleasant shiver down your spine.

“What is she thinking?” Volstagg demanded.

Loki shrugged. “Mostly flattery.” He narrowed his eyes and his eyes glowed faintly as he delved deeper. You felt it, and instinctively closed the door of your mind to block him from discovering your secret – he sensed it shut, and unease flickered behind his eyes. What were you hiding from him?

He veiled his confusion with a light scoff. “She’s evading me.”

Fandral tutted at you as he raised his goblet. “Come now, don’t you trust your lover?”

Loki’s eyes reflected the same question.

You met his gaze with your hands clasped tight enough to make your knuckles whiten. Your stomach turned over with nausea. You swallowed. The doubt and apprehension in Loki’s expression was as clear and visible to you as if he had expressed it aloud; you didn’t need to read his mind to see that. It was visible in the tension of his jaw, the way his brow furrowed, the nervous tapping of his fingers against his thigh.

If you didn’t tell him now, when would you?

You took a breath and smiled briefly, reaching forward and wrapping your fingers around his wrist to stop the anxious tapping. “I do,” you affirmed, and after a moment, removed the door inside your mind.

You watched him fall right through it like a fox into a rabbit hole.

Loki’s face paled. A beat of silence passed.

Then another.

“What is it?” Fandral asked, expressing the thoughts of the table aloud. “Well? What is she thinking?”

“Silver tongue turned to lead?” Volstagg joked.

Loki blinked, and swallowed. “Excuse me,” he said, standing abruptly and taking you by the arm. A half-spoken apology left your lips before he dragged you out and into the dark hallway outside the banquet room, the heavy doors clanging shut behind you.

The night wind was warm and heavy with the scents of midsummer, carrying the faint voices and music of the city below, lights twinkling in the dark. Your heart was in your throat when Loki cupped your face in his hands, elegant fingers tucking your hair back out of familiar habit. You shied from his touch, expecting rejection and refusing to meet his gaze.

His eyes searched your face, not daring to ask, but knowing he must. “Is it true? Are you–” his voice stalled, and his eyes dropped to your stomach before coming back up again.

You pressed your lips together and nodded as anxious tears pricked at your eyes. “I’m sorry,” you began, and your voice broke. “I- I would have told you some other way, but–”

Loki silenced you with a kiss, the taste of sweet wine lingering on his lips. The glass floor of anxiety broke beneath your feet and you leaned into him, cupping his jaw in your shaking hands. A meteor streaked across the dark sky as the two of you stood there, dark silhouettes a backdrop of golden lights.

He pulled away. His hands slid down your arms, holding you there. “How long?”

“Two months,” you quavered. Your tears spilled over, and you reached up hastily to wipe them with your palm. “You’re– you’re not upset?”

Loki’s mouth opened in surprise. His expression spoke volumes and he exhaled quickly, shaking his head and pulling you to his chest.

“Upset?” He repeated, laughing in disbelief. He cradled your head beneath his chin, fingers gently tangled in your hair. “Ohh, my love. I’m only sorry that you bore it alone for so long.” You let out a muffled sob of relief against his chest and he held you a bit tighter, running his hand up and down your back.

You stayed there together, holding each other until your tears subsided. You pulled away, wiping your face once more. “I’m sorry,” you apologized, pushing your hair back and sighing. “It’s supposed to be a happy night.”

“It is,” he insisted, leaning down to wipe the remnants of your tears and pressing kisses to your cheeks. He took your hands in his and squeezed them gently. “And if I recall correctly, we didn’t get a chance to dance. There may yet be some fires still burning.”

You chuckled, still a little teary, and nodded. “I’d like that.” You linked your arm through his, leaning your head against his shoulder as you began walking. The night air was warm and sweet, carrying the promise of a good harvest on the gentle breeze. Midsummer on Asgard has always been one of your favorite holidays: it was both a reassurance of the present and a promise of the future. Each one had been memorable. You had a feeling this one would be, too.

Loki’s thoughts were running rampant through his head loudly enough for you to notice, distracting you from enjoying the breeze, and you poked him in the side. “What is it?’

Loki made a surprised noise before looking down at you. “How in all the realms did you manage to hide it from me for so long? What about the sickness?”

You laughed then, raising your eyebrow. “Your mother may have helped me with a remedy,” you admitted, averting your eyes in a feigned expression of innocence.

As you expected, Loki’s jaw dropped, and he made an indignant noise. “She knew?”

“Of course she did, she knows everything.”

Loki scoffed and rolled his eyes, pressing his lips together to try and hide the smile pulling at the corners of his lips. “She does know everything. I should have guessed.”

“Well, you know now.”

“That I do,” He agreed. “And I have half a mind to wed you for your treachery.”

“Treachery?” You repeated incredulously, though that wasn’t the word that had caught your attention. The mention of marriage made your face flush and your stomach flip. Out of all the reactions you had envisioned when it came to sharing this secret, a proposal wasn’t one you’d expected. Loki, your husband; you could get used to calling him that.

You sighed dramatically and tried to quell the butterflies inside your ribs, squeezing his arm. “Well, I accept. The punishment is fitting.” Loki looked down at you and the two of you shared a mutual smirk – you could tell he was excited, too, in the way his green eyes twinkled and his breath caught when you pressed a kiss to his cheek.

The sounds of music and jubilee coming from the lower city promised a long night of dancing and revelry despite the late hour. The two of you snuck your way down through the crowded alleyways, walking beneath lantern light and watching the silhouettes of people dancing in rings around the fires. The night wind was thick with the scents of wood smoke and summer fruit. Loki reeled you in and held your hand as you joined one of the rings, laughing and stepping your feet with all the rest.

No one else noticed the two magicians casting dancing shadows of their own on the cobblestone. By the time the next summer solstice came, they would be joined by a third. But for now, it was only you and Loki, dancing in the bonfire light with color in your cheeks and laughter on your lips. Loki’s eyes sparkled and his hands held yours with every assurance of safety and permanence. He loved you. And you didn’t need to read his mind to know that for a fact.

~~~

A/N: thanks for reading! ♡

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belphies-cuhm-sluht · 3 years

Text

The Future (Belphie x GN! Reader)

It's not entirely angst, but it's there a little bit... and it's not super fluffy... but it's also there a little bit... It's a little bit of everything I guess (except NSFW, it's not that... well there is a little teeny tiny hint of it, like a salt grain of NSFW if you look close enough)

TW: slight mention of death but nobody dies ; mentions of what Belphie did in Lesson 16 but it doesn't go into detail (also spoiler warning if you haven't made it to lesson 16 yet)

Word Count : 3.2K (why the fuck did I go so hard on this one? I've never written that much in a wing it fic before)

He sat on the windowsill in the attic, overlooking the garden in the backyard where you sat with his brothers. He should have been down there, he should have been sitting on the other side of you, sandwiching you between Beel and himself, but you didn’t want anything to do with him, and who could blame you? What he had done was unforgivable, and had you forgiven him, he would have thought you were weak and pathetic for even wanting to be around him after what he had done. Yet, here he was, wishing that you had forgiven him. It was an internal conflict that he was having with himself and he hated it, and he hated you for making him feel like this.

What were you but a meek, fragile, useless human. There were billions up on earth, and if need be, he could just go up and snatch one to have his way with and then be done with them. It would be quite simple for him, and there wouldn’t have to be any emotional attachment, not the way that his brothers seemed to be getting with you. They were foolish for allowing a no good human into their lives like this, and it almost seemed like you had a firm hold on them. They were wrapped around your fingers. Not him though, he wouldn’t allow himself to get like that. He knows exactly what happens when beings like himself and his brothers… like his sister… get attached to humans. It never ends well, and it seems like his brothers were completely forgetting all about that, even though it was the reason they fell in the first place.

Even with all of this, watching you with all of them made his heart ache. Laughing, smiling, everyone was having a good time, everyone but him. He tried to ignore the ache in his heart as he watched Beel wrap his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to his chest and nuzzling his face in your neck. Your laughter, light and twinkling seemed to travel through the air, riding the slight breeze that blew through the trees, purposely up into his ears, almost as if it were mocking him. He was alone, and while it wasn’t a new feeling for him, it was starting to become bothersome. Nobody wanted to see him, especially you, but now it seemed like everyone was avoiding him like the plague. The door to the attic had been unlocked for a while, but now he didn’t want to leave. He had no reason to anymore.

“Hey, Belphie…” He had been so lost in thought that he didn’t even notice that Beel had left you in the garden with the others. His eyes focused on you, the way your eyes would squint up when Mammon said something so stupid that all you could do was laugh at him. The way you kept switching which leg to cross over the other, as if you couldn’t sit still for more than five seconds. You seemed anxious, and you would look over your shoulder and around the garden subtly before turning back to whichever one of his brothers were talking. It was like you could feel his eyes on you, and it gave him a strangely warm feeling inside, knowing that you knew he was looking… all you had to do was look up and you’d see him. “Belphie.” Beel said his name again, clearing his throat to get his attention.

“Hm? Yeah, what?” As much as he hated to take his eyes off of you, he knew that Beel wouldn’t leave him alone until he at least acknowledged that he was in the room. “Do you need something?” He turned to face his brother, his arms folded across his chest. Seeing him there, knowing that only a couple minutes ago his brother's arms had been wrapped around you, holding you close, and you had enjoyed it… He had no right to be upset over it, if anything, he should be happy for his twin that he had finally found something other than food and working out to fill the void inside of him that had been created when he fell.

“I know you like them…” He was about to protest, but Beel held up his hand, giving his brother a small smile as he sat on the edge of the bed. “I can hear you at night… calling their name… you move a lot too. Everyone hears you.” Beel scratched his head as he watched him, waiting for his response, but he couldn’t think of anything to say. It was obvious that Beel liked you too, and in a sense it felt wrong. If it were Lucifer, he wouldn’t feel bad about liking you at all, but he cared about Beel, and he didn’t want his twin to hate him.

“I’m sorry, man… I don’t deserve them. They seem happy with you, and you look happy… I’m not trying to take them away from you.” He sighed heavily, shaking his head as he got up from the ledge of the window. “It doesn’t even matter, it’s not like they’d ever like me back anyway.” And that much he was sure of. How could you ever like him back after what he did? He could hope for it, dream of it, but the reality is that it would never happen.

“What are you talking about?” Beel looked genuinely confused, watching as his brother climbed into the bed, pulling the sheets over himself. “I mean, of course I’m happy with them here, but we’re not together.” He let out a quick chuckle as he said it, but Belphie wasn’t entirely convinced yet. Sure, you and Beel may not be together, but how is he supposed to know that you don’t have any feelings at all for Beel? He’s already made himself look like a complete fool with you once, and he wasn’t planning on doing it again anytime soon. “I care about them, and yeah, I was kind of pissed off when you tried to kill them… twice…” He sat up just enough to glare at Beel. That was still a sore subject and something that he wished could be moved on from. Of course, that was wishful thinking and he knew that no one would ever fully move on from it, especially you. “But… They’re okay now… Maybe you should just talk to them.” He got up from the bed, walking over to the door before turning to look back at Belphie. “It wouldn’t hurt to try anyway. I’ll see you later.”

His head fell against his pillow, a loud groan escaping him as his hands moved up to his face. “Fuck…” Beel was right. It wouldn’t hurt to try, and even if you did reject him, he would get over it after a while. It’s not like you were the only human who would ever come down to the Devildom for Lord Diavolo’s stupid exchange program. The only problem is that… there probably wouldn’t ever be another human like you. You were special, and it took a lot for him to even think that about anyone, especially a human. But you… you went out of your way to save him in a sense. You freed him from the attic, and instead of thanking you as he should have, he had tried to kill you instead. He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t even know where he’d start if he was to try to talk to you. The only thing he could think to do was to sleep on it, a little escape from the reality of his fuck ups never hurt.

Dreams were all that he had, they were the safest place to go. When everything seemed wrong, he knew that he had his own subconscious mind to fall back on. At least in his dreams he could change the way things had happened. In his dreams he would tell you what you deserved to hear after you let him out of the attic, and he’d pull you into his arms and hold you when all other words escaped him. He could create any scenarios he wanted, and they always felt so real. Your lips pressed against his own as your bodies seemed to mesh into one under the warmth of his blankets in the attic. His fingers would trace the shape of your body as your legs intertwined, his name murmured softly from your lips when the tips of his fingers would brush over more sensitive parts of your skin.

“Belphie…” Your voice was so sweet, it sounded so close. His dream had just begun and you were already calling for him. It was a new fantasy, but one that he wasn’t against. All he had to do was find you, and it seemed strange that, although he was in control of his own dreams most of the time, he didn’t seem to be in control of this one. You were nowhere to be found, yet he could still hear your voice. “Belphie, wake up…” It was an odd request, one that he had never heard you make in any of the dreams he’s had of you. Your voice seemed to echo down the long hallway that he was currently walking down in his subconscious. It seemed never ending, and there was only one door at the end, and the closer he seemed to get to it, the further away it seemed to move. Maybe the only way to reach the door at the end was to wake up like you had told him to.

“Hm… Y/N…” He tiredly mumbled, rolling over to his side as he clung onto the cow pillow beside him. His eyes were still closed and it seemed like his body was fighting against itself. He wanted to wake up, but his entire body was basically telling him to stay asleep. There was going to be nothing for him when he opened his eyes, just like every single day before this one, and likely every day after. The gentle touch of fingers brushing along his arm had him jumping up though, his fight or flight instinct kicking in, except there was no flight option. It was just fight or fight, and either way, someone was getting fought. “What the fu-” His eyes shot open, and for a split second, he thought he was still dreaming. “What are you doing here?” It wasn’t meant to come across as rude, and he definitely didn’t want you to assume that just because he was asking that he didn’t want you there. In all honesty, he was confused, very confused.

“Uhm… Beel said that you wanted to talk to me…” Of course. Now that Beel knew about his feelings, he wouldn’t let his brother dwell on them, and he surely wouldn’t let the feelings eat away at his brother. A little bit of a warning or maybe even a heads up would have been great though, at least so he could have been prepared to talk to you. He only hoped that Beel didn’t say too much to you, but judging by the fact that you weren’t freaking out or yelling at him made it clear that Beel hadn’t said or done anything except extend the offer of an actual conversation.

“Yeah… I do.” Seeing you this close with his own eyes, in reality, it was completely different from his dreams. You were far more perfect up close, so close… He could reach out and touch you if he thought you would allow it. “Are you uh… comfortable? I mean, being up here… alone… with me?” He thought that it was important to ask, because as much as he’d hate for you to say that you weren’t, for you to leave at the guidance of his own question… he also didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable around him.

He watched as your eyes darted around the room momentarily, and then they landed back on him as you shrugged, taking a deep breath before nodding and giving him a small smile. “I guess I am…” Your voice sounded unsure, and the way your knee was bouncing was like a silent way of your body telling him just how nervous you actually were. “So, what did you want to talk about?” What did he want to talk about? He hadn’t even had time to think about it, let alone think that you’d actually want to talk to him. He didn’t know where to begin, he didn’t know how to start, and with you looking at him the way that you were, your eyes wide and your hands placed in your lap, your lips pursed as you waited for him to start speaking. What was he supposed to say to you?

“It uh… looks like you’re happy…” He began, immediately feeling stupid for starting off like that. What do you care if he notices that you look happy. Of course you would, since he was staying out of your way, out of everyone's way. You shrugged, giving him a small smile and a quick nod, rolling your fingers as you waited for him to continue. At least you weren’t leaving already, that was a start. “I’ve been thinking for a while now… I never actually apologized for what I did. I’m… I’m sorry.” It felt weird saying it. He had never apologized to anyone for anything, and he never felt obligated to do it either. He never cared what anyone thought or if people hated him, he didn’t need anyone but Beel in his life, or at least, that’s what he thought. But now… now he cares what you think, and how you feel, and he even feels like maybe… maybe he needs you too.

Your smile grew slightly, and it seemed like your eyes actually lit up just from hearing him say it. Was that really all that you needed? If he had known that, maybe he wouldn’t have felt the need to isolate himself for so long. “Thanks… It’s really nice to hear that…” You sighed softly, your leg stopped bouncing as you finally let yourself relax around him. “Is that all that you needed to say?” The way you asked it, the way that you looked at him, maybe it was wishful thinking on his part, but it sounded like maybe you wanted to hear something more, although he wasn’t sure what it was right now. “I mean… If you don’t, that’s fine… I was just thinking… You know… Now we can…”

“We can be together.” What? He just said that, he just fucking said that. What an idiot. He got too excited, too ahead of himself. That wasn’t what you were thinking at all, and he could tell by the way that you looked at him. You looked more confused now than you did when he had attacked you in the first place. Of course it was too sudden, even he knew that much. He would have been just as confused if it were the other way around, and he was about to apologize again until you started laughing. It felt weird to actually care that someone was laughing at him, and it stung worse that it was you. “No, that’s fine… You can laugh. It was stupid…” He mumbled, dropping his gaze to trace over the patterns of fabric in his blanket. He hated the way you made him feel, but at the same time, he loved it, because for once he felt something other than anger and hatred and tiredness.

You stopped laughing, taking a few deep breaths to calm yourself as you reached out for his hand. The action came as a shock, and part of him wanted to pull away, but he knew that would only look bad on his end, especially after the strangely timed confession he just gave to you. “No, no… It’s not stupid… Just unexpected.” You hummed softly in thought, letting your thumb brush almost mindlessly over his knuckles. It was calming, soothing even, and it felt much like the dreams that he’d had before. “It’s not all the time that someone tries to kill someone, and then say they want to be together. Where I’m from, it’s usually the other way around…” It made sense, and even in the Devildom he’s heard stories of stuff like that happening up there. It always confused him though, he never understood why someone would practically confess their love to another person just to kill them. In his mind, he did it the right way around. He tried to kill you, didn’t succeed both times, had time to regret what he did, and then realized that he actually liked you. It was the safer route to take, at least in his eyes. At least if you were to reject him, you’d have a reason why you did… But you haven’t actually rejected him yet… have you?

“It’s alright… if you don’t want to… It’s a really bad time to ask.” He also didn’t want to put you on the spot or make you feel like you had to say yes just because you were scared of what he’d do if you said no. That’s not what he wanted at all, and if he could go back in time just five minutes from now, he’d choose his words wisely… and just not say that at all. He still feels foolish for even uttering the words, but he knows that without the help of Barbatos, he wouldn’t be able to do that, and he knows that Barbatos wouldn’t even do it if he were here.

Your fingers drummed against your thighs, and he knew that you were deep in thought. Your gaze kind of turned cloudy and far off, and he wished that he could hear your thoughts, or maybe read them like a book. The smile that you had been wearing before faded as the silence in the room dragged on. He was holding his breath, waiting for you to say something, and truthfully, he wouldn’t even care what it was at this point, he just wanted you to speak because the awkward silence was way worse. “I’m not saying that I wouldn’t want to… sometime in the future… but…” There was always a but, there just had to be a but. “Maybe we can start as friends first? You can come down from the attic more, actually spend time with all of us. I think it would be fun for you too. I know that Beel misses you.” You sighed softly, pushing yourself off the edge of the bed before turning to look back down at him. “I’ll give you some time to think on that. It’s my turn to cook with Beel though… I’ll see you at dinner?”

“Yeah… Yeah, I’ll see you at dinner. Bye.” His eyes were glued to you as you left the attic, closing the door softly behind you, listening as your footsteps grew further and further away until he couldn’t hear them at all anymore. His head fell back against his pillow, exhaling sharply through his nose as he stared up at the ceiling.

Friends… There was nothing wrong with being friends. He still had his dreams where the two of you were more, and maybe one day, sometime in the future as you had said, his dreams would become a reality and he could finally be with you. He didn’t know how long it would take, but he didn’t really care. There was hope, and he would hold onto it until you were finally ready. But first… he’d start with dinner.

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rphelperblog · 2 years

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Truly Devious Quote Rp Meme