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samkerrworshipper · 9 days

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how did it end? | arsenal x reader

warnings: suicidal themes, self harm, alcohol abuse, depression

um yeah lol feel grateful for this because i’m going to go ghost mode for the rest of the week! to the anons who have a problem with my writing, don’t fucking read this if it’s such a problem, in fact don’t read any of my stuff at all, my page is a better place without you.

Everything about the day had felt wrong.

Everything about your last month had felt wrong, really the whole year if you thought about it.

It had all started after a blindside move from your home club. Leaving Rsenal had been the worst thing that had ever happened, but you’d known it was coming after they’d signed Russo. There was only so much room for strikers on the team, and your contract happened to be out as the summer started, leaving you as a free agent.

Somehow, you’d ended up at PSG, which you still didn’t understand. There had been offers everwhere, Lyon, Real Madrid, Man City, Chelsea, Bayern, Wolfsburg, yet your manager had fucked you and gone for PSG.

It had been a clusterfuck from the day you’d arrived, the language barrier, your horrible mental state, the different playing structure, the weather, your lonely apartment, the lack of friendships, the lack of support.

It had taken a month before you’d crashed and burned, withdrawing yourself from both club and national team. You’d been lower then low, sadder then sad, completely withdrawn from your own life. You wish you’d stayed, you wish that none of it had of happened, because maybe life wouldn’t have turned out the way it had, maybe you’d be happier.

Your Arsenal teammates had visited as often as the schedule permitted, helped you move your whole life from one country to the other, but at the end of the day you were still hundreds of miles away from them.

You’d stopped answering their calls after a few weeks, too consumed with the completely inebriating struggle that you were going through in Paris, trying to stay true to yourself whilst being so far in the deep end of the pool that you were struggling to keep your head above the water.

After the call to Sarina and the call to your manager it had made more sense for you to return to London, even if it had pained you to do so.

Not a month after you’d packed your whole life away against your will, you were packing it all back up.

You didn’t like what happened in Paris, you weren’t proud of it, all you wanted was to get back to your house in St. Albans, but you were also terrified of what your ‘home’ looked like now. It wasn’t the same place it had been for the last 8 years, you didn’t have your bestfriends as teammates more, you didn’t have any teammates, you were unofficially, self-decidedly, retired. Sarina had begged for you to return, tried to reckon with you, but you were done, your love for the game had died in Paris and you had no desire to re-open the wounds that had been torn into your skin in France.

You didn’t tell anyone, you just hoped that you’d be able to avoid everyone for as long as possible, that you’d just be able to slowly become nonexistent and become forgotten by everyone from the past 20 years of your life, but you were aware that life didn’t work that way.

You were sick of all the pain you were going through, all the suffering that you were being forced to endure for no good reason. You didn’t want to talk to anyone about it, you didn’t feel like you had anybody to talk to about it, it was just you nowadays.

That was how you spent most of your nights, alone.

Alone with a bottle of your posion of choice sitting on your bathroom floor.

It was the only thing that made it all better nowadays, the feeling of alcohol slipping down your throat, typically with a razor blade in your other hand.

There was something satisfying about it all, something perfect about being perfectly intoxicated with a sliver of metal between your finger tips.

On this particular day, you knew you’d drunk to much, but it had all been wrong. You’d woken up with a headache, in your shower, the tiles of your floor stained with your own blood. It wasn’t a uncommon place for you to wake up anymore, but everything about it felt wrong. Your head was aching in a way it never had, your whole body was hurting and for some reason it all just felt off.

You went about your normal routine, pushing the temperature of your shower to as hot as it would go, finding peace in the blistering water falling down across your skin. Once your skin was bright red you’d climb out, falling into your bed to help to sleep off the rift that the hangover had left inside of you. Around midday you would climb out of your bed, slipping out from the covers to enjoy your few hours of life that your days now gave you. Sometimes it would be spent in your kitchen, trying your hardest to piece together some kind of sustenance, other days making and eating food was too hard. On this particular day, you forgoed your kitchen, instead opting to walk straight past it and out onto your patio, as per the usual london weather, it was pouring down, but you didn’t mind too much.

The rain was nice, it reminded you that not everything in life was pretty, your life certainly wasn’t pretty anymore. Rain was a reminder that everyday could be turned upside down just based off of something that was completely out of anybodys control.

After deciding it was a bit too wet to enjoy the outdoors you tracked your way back indoors, your bare feet creasing and digging into the hard, cold wood floors of your home. You eyed off your uncomfortable couch, the one that your manager had found on facebook marketplace which was the most uncomfortable piece of furniture you thought could be bought. It kind of felt like a metaphor for you, you’d been bought, and it had been the worst decision PSG had made, and you were destined, just like the couch, to be thrown away without anybody really knowing or caring.

You walked straight past the couch and back to your bed, there wasn’t any living for you to do today, it just felt that way, so you pulled the covers back over your body and enjoyed the moment of peace that your bed gave you.

It didn’t last long, your body relaxing into the mattress for a few seconds before the restlessness took over. It was like that nowadays, your body never able to stop. You figured it was probably a result of your body going from pushing its limits everyday, mentally and physically to you doing absolutely nothing. Previously, when you’d been in a depressive episode you would sleep all day, no matter what had been happening, but not anymore. Now, you had to drink yourself into oblivion before your body would force itself to relax, you could be as exhausted and tired as you wanted but your body just wouldn’t let you sleep.

Your brain convinced you that your mattress was the lumpiest mattress made, when you really knew you’d hand picked it for it’s comfort. You brain tricked you into feeling like all of your curtains were wide open on a summers day when really they were drawn closed. Your mind was playing tricks on you and you didn’t know what was real and what wasn’t.

That’s how you’d ended up on your bathroom floor so early, the overwhelming need for you to fix the pain becoming too much for you. With a bottle of vodka in one hand and your scared silver blade in the other you finally found yourself at peace.

The stomachache and burn of the vodka going down your throat didn’t truly matter, not when you were staring down at the thin criss cross of lines all over your thighs.

Some were healed, some were thick, some were thin, some were sore. They all told a different story. Thighs were the easiest, less arteries, good to hide, disguisable. They didn’t bleed the same way wrists did, they bled slow and painfully, a couple of lines never hurt you.

With the mix of last nights alcohol though and the new vodka mixed with the sight of blood you found yourself feeling woozy.

You hadn’t always been a cutter, self-harm hadn’t always been your vice. It had always been football. From the minute the ball was at your feet it had been football, and you wouldn’t of had it any other way. It had been your everything, football had been your life and until it had been taken from you, you hadn’t understood the true magnitude of what that meant. Your life had no purpose, no substance, nothing, without your game. Football had been the only thing you were good at, and you were extremely good at it. You’d given up on school in pursuit of your footballing career and it had been worth it, up until now.

Now your life was nothing but a big mess.

You wished it had worked out in Paris, you wished that you’d been able to farewell London and make a new home in France, but it hadn’t meant to be. All of your talent, all of your love, all of your passion, it was all for nothing now. Everything you’d ever done amounted to nothing, you were nothing without a pair of boots on your feet and a football in front of you.

You were never going to be the same again, it was all different now, and you were man enough to admit that you missed what you’d had. There were things that you lost in life, in the heartbreak and the struggles, you just hadn’t expected that you would lose the meaning of your life in the process. You had a hard time understanding why it had to happen to you, why you’d been the unlucky one. You paid your dues, you’d woken up at 5am every single morning to run drills, you’d worked your ass of and yet here you were, drunk on your bathroom floor wishing that you were gone.

Once upon a time you’d believed that a person would do anything for the thing that they loved most in the world, but you didn’t believe ion that anymore, love was supposed to be the most powerful thing on earth, and yet it had failed you.

It was funny because you could drink all of the alcohol you wanted but it never made you forget about what you’d lost. The hundreds of memories of football over the years, Arsenal, it had all been Arsenal. You’d been the kind of player where you’d always been one club, from academy all the way through to the senior team, you bled arsenal. Nobody even asked you what your dream team was, because it had always been Arsenal, you hadn’t had eyes for anywhere else. Yet you’d been thrown away like nothing.

You’d loved playing for Arsenal, when you put your jersey on at the beginning of every game you felt ten times stronger, qall of your bestest friends had been at Arsenal, your bridesmaids, your for life friends, and yet now it all felt like you were drifting away.

For the longest time you’d chosen the good options, the healthy options, what was right.

Now though, you chose destruction.

You sleep when your blackout drunk.

You drink caffeine late at night.

You stay awake until your eyes burn.

You always say yes to whatever vice your brain can think of.

You drink water instead of food and vodka instead of water,

You’re isolated beyond the point of it being okay, nowadays you spend more time with yourself then anybody else.

Maybe it was the vodka that made you feel particularly adventurous, or the scent of your own blood seeping across your skin, but whatever it was it somehow inclined you to reach for your phone which was rested on the tiles besides you.

You’d turned your notifications off long ago, as soon as the trade had come through.

You’d ignored everyone’s messages for the sake of preserving your own mental state, you couldn’t deal with the constant back and forth of trying to keep friendships which felt like had already gone.

You were more intoxicated than normal, or that was how you rationalized your behaviour, because there really wasn’t any other explanation to it, unless all of the emotions from the last few months had suddenly hit you a lot harder then normal.

But you were sick of being alone, you knew that, you’d been alone for far too long.

Maybe the alcohol had pushed that to the forefront to your mind, or you’d just become inherently desperate.

Your phone rang, the sound vibrating against the tile floor of the bathroom, amplifying it to your ears, the noise ringing out in your ear canal.

It didn’t take long for the ringing to cease, the sound of silence absorbing around you.

“y/n? Is that you?”

You blinked a few times, swallowing down the final remnants of your last swig of vodka.

“Hey.”

Your voice was shaky, from the days of not saying any words at all, you didn;t have any reason to speak if you were all by yourself.

“Hi.”

The silence stayed thick, obviously neither of you unsure about what to say.

“Are you okay, no ones heard anything from you in a few weeks.”

You’d vanished, for the good of yourself.

“I wish I’d stayed, le.”

Their was a deep breath exhaled from the other side of the line.

“I wish you’d stayed too, y/n.”

You couldn’t think of a single positive that had come from you leaving, not a single one.

“I wish I’d stayed now, I wish I’d been given the chance.”

You could fele the tears building up in the corners of your eyes.

“Me too, y/n.”

The tears were falling, the water falling from your cheeks falling onto the blood on your legs, the two liquids mixing together, the blood turning into red as they two mixed, blood did run thicker than water.

“I wish i’d stayed le, I wish none of this had happened.”

You didn’t want to know what the blonde on the other side of the phone was thinking about at this moment, you weren;t thinking about her, just yourself.

“Hold in there kid, for me, it’s all going to work itself out.”

There was no working it out, this was the end for you.

“I can’t do it anymore, I can’t pretend that i wish I hadn’t of stayed, that I don’t spend everyday regretting it, I want it all back.”

You pushed the blade down against your skin again.

Drawing the metal against your skin until the blood had begun to pool at the base of the two or three inch line.

“Where are you kid, are you in Paris? Do you need me to send someone to come and check on you? You shouldn’t be drinking like this by yourself, especially not in season.”

There wasn’t a season for you anymore, you were free, you could do whatever you pleased.

“I’m at home, and I’m fine.”

You pulled the blade up, and onto a new patch of skin, it was all littered with past scars, raised white lines.

“You don’t sound fine kid, I have plenty of friends in France, don’t make me get them to come and hunt you down.”

Her voice was an attempt at threatening, but it sounded more worried then anything.

“I’m not in Paris, I left after my contract was annulled.”

Annulled aka we’re letting you go without any pay but you still technically belong to us until the length of your contract is up.

“Annulled?”

You would have thought Sarina would have told the team, but apparently not.

“Haven’t you heard? I’m retired.”

Retired was not a word that you thought should fall from a twenty four year olds mouth, but here you were.

“Retired? Where are you, y/n?”

You supposed the alcohol might have been making your tongue a little bit looser.

“In my house, in my bathroom.”

Another deep exhale, you could just picture the woman pinching the bridge of her nose, maybe even frowning.

“Your house, where?”

You picked up the bottle of alcohol, taking a break from the razor blade to allow the vodka to ease back down your oesophagus.

“St Albans.”

The line went silent for a few seconds.

“You’re back home, since when?”

Another sip of your vodka.

“Couple of weeks, France wasn’t for me.”

France was the end of you.

“How much have you been drinking? You sound awful.”

You didn’t think you sounded that bad, but you also supposed a sober person would have a different perspective.

“Vodka, feels good le.”

Another deep exhale.

“I’m going to come over.”

Rustling on the other side of the phone.

“I’m fine, I’m good, you don’t need to come over.”

You were lying to both yourself and Leah.

“You aren’t fine, you aren’t good, and even if you want to tell yourself you are, I need to see you in real life because for the last months I’ve thought you were as good as dead. Are you safe, y/n?”

You didn’t know how to answer that question, you hadn’t felt safe with yourself in what felt like forever.

“I’m not unsafe.”

More rustling on the other side of the line.

“Do I need to bring somebody with me? Do I need to call an ambulance?”

You thought about it for a few seconds.

“I’m okay Le.”

The alcohol made you feel more okay then you had been, so you supposed it wasn;t fully a lie.

“You’re drunk at 6pm, I don’t think you are fine. I’m going to go get Viv, she knows how to deal with you when you’re spiralling, I’m going to stay on the phone with you and ask you some questions, okay, I’m walking out to my car now.”

You nodded your head, the realized that Leah wasn’t in front of you.

“Answer me honestly, are you safe right now, do you feel safe?”

You didn’t feel unsafe, you kewn by the looks of things, you were in a unsafe position. Alcohol and self harm wasn’t exactly the safest thing, but you felt at peace, and you knew that you weren’t causing any serious bodily harm to yourself.

“Depends on your perspective.”

You heard the sound of car doors.

“Okay, I’ll break it down, hmm? Are you within arms reach of something that could cause harm to you or others?”

Fuck.

“Yes.”

The sound of the phone connecting to bluetooth and keys in a ignition.

“What?”

You bit down on the inside of your cheek.

“Bottle of vodka and a blade.”

It wasn’t hard for you to admit, not when this had been how you’d spent all of your nights the last while.

“What kind of blade?”

You wished you’d stayed, you wished you weren’t in this position.

“Razor.”

You could feel the bile rising in your throat, whether it was alcohol related or from the cosntant questions.

“Alright, I want you to push them both as far away from you as possible, don’t look at them, don’t think about them, think about me. Now, have you caused yourself any harm?”

God, if you’d been able to stay none of this would be happening, none of it.

“Some cuts, le I think I’m going to be sick.”

The tears were full throttle, the sound of somebody’s voice that you’d missed so much in your ears and the vomit bottling itself up in your throat.

“Go to the toilet bowl, let it out.”

The taste of bile in your throat was never going to be something you enjoyed, the feeling of the new cuts along your thighs creasing as you crouched over the bowl stinging in a way that reawakened you.

The vomiting didn’t really stop, the continuous gagging being the only sound in your bathroom, beside the sound of Leah’s car.

Eventually, you finished, all of the clearish liquid mixed with your stomach acid sitting at the bottom of the bowl like a disgusting soup.

You laid down against your tiles, enjoying the cold that covered your skin.

Viv must have been picked up, because you could hear her and Beth talking in the background, beth, happy beth, beth who had once been your bestest friend.

“Bubba, you still with us, we’re just around the corner.”

You let out a groan in aggreance.

They continued to talk to you, allowing you to reply with different huffs and noises as they neared closer and closer to your home.

You ignored the hit of endorphins that you felt melt across you at the sound of your front door unlocking, Leah had kept your key, clearly.

It was a few seconds before your bathroom was crowded by the presence of your past teammates, the three sets of eyes all falling on you.

“Beth, go get a wet handwasher, Leah go get her some water.”

Viv’s voice was soft, but commanding, her body immediately gravitating to your own.

She crouched down beside you, grabbing you by the shoulders and pushing you upwards, bringing you eye to eye with her.

“It’s good to have you back.”

You burst into tears, you’d hated being in St Albans out of fear that you’d be rejected, that you’d be told to go back to France, and yet here you were being welcomed back with open arms.

“I wish I’d stayed vivi, I wish I’d stayed, I wish none of this had happened, I want it all back, I want my life back. I can’t do this life anymore.”

Viv brought you into her arms.

“I know liefje, I know, it’s going to be okay, we’re going to figure it out, but we need to get you safe first, and this isn’t it. You need to be in a better place.”

If Viv had a problem with the way thart you clinged to her clothes, literally holding on for dear life, then she didn’t brign it up.

“You could have called one of us earlier you know, when you were struggling in France. You could have called me, you know I’ve been where you are, I’ve moved and hated every single part of it, we could have helped you before it had gotten this bad.”

You shook your head.

“Nobody could have helped me vivi, nothing could have helped me, I was done, I’m done.”

Viv nodded into you.

“We’ve got to get you cleaned up, and then you’ll go back to Leah’s house, and then we’ll work on fixing this, okay, Kyra’s going to be so happy to know you’re back, she’s missed you, the bloody kid hasn’t shut up about you and she only knew you for a week. Kim’s been contacting everybody, trying to figure out where you were, her little protege, she’s been hardly functioning, we all have been, you can’t just disappear on us like that, you had us all worried sick.”

You furrowed your eyebrows.

“Really?”

Viv let go of you a bit, to get a proper look at you.

“Just because you’re forced to leave doesn’t make you any less Arsenal. You can take the girl out of arsenal but not arsenal out of the girl. No matter where you go, or what you do, you’re always going to be one of us.”

You could feel more tears beginning to form.

“I don’t know how it could have ended how it did vivi.”

You felt the Dutch take a deep breath.

“I don’t know either, but we’ve got you alright, we’ve got you now, we won’t let you leave, your staying with us forever, you took a year off of my life for everyday that you ghosted us.”

You looked down and around you, at the mostly empty vodka bottle, the blood, the scars, it all, and you didn’t know how it had all ended up like this.

“How did it all end vivi?”

Viv looked at you, just as lost as you felt.

“We’re going to figure it out.”

——————————————————————

just thought i’d end this with a little etiquette lesson for any anons xo

if you feel like dropping hate over this in my inbox… don’t.

if you feel like having a go at me for this fic… don’t.

if you feel like making personally rude arguments about me… don’t.

if you feel like having a go at for me for expressing my struggles with writing and sometimes making mistakes… don’t.

just don’t. go touch some grass, go for a run, buy a new fucking vibrator. i can guarantee you will get more pleasure from a good orgasm then dropping aimless hate in my inbox.

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babydollmarauders · 1 year

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STARBOY — JACK HUGHES

jack hughes x fem!reader

summary: in which y/n is turned on by Jack playing hockey

warnings: MATURE CONTENT!! praise kink, degradation, dirty talk, unprotected sex, cussing, pet names, fingering, (i think that’s all but lmk if i missed anything)

notes: umm idk how i feel about this but i tried so…. also, i feel like this makes it seem like they didn’t last long but in my head they were going for awhile, i’m just still trying to figure out how to express how much time is passing in smut.

i’m so proud. so extremely proud.

Jack has been struggling recently. with zero goals and only two assists in the past six games, he’s sort of been in a slump. but tonight’s game against the Hurricanes has officially seemed to break that.

i can’t tell if it’s a good or bad thing that i decided not to attend tonight’s game and rather watch it at home on our couch. i’m both sad that i wasn’t there to watch my boyfriend score his goal and get two assists, and glad because watching Jack score always turns me on more than i’d like to admit. something about his smile after a goal and the way he carries himself, has me clenching my thighs together and praying for him to get home quickly.

which brings me to now, sat on the couch in nothing but a cropped camisole and my shortest pajama shorts, waiting impatiently for Jack to get home. it’s nearing eleven thirty when i finally hear the door unlock, heavy footsteps echo from the dark entryway before i hear the door click shut and the lock switching back into place. Jack’s footsteps creep down the hall, much quieter this time, confirming to me that he slipped off his shoes, before coming to a complete stop.

i scan him in amusement, standing in the opening to the living room with his eyes wide and his hand clutched over his heart.

“jeez, y/n/n. you scared the shit outta me.” he exhales, making me giggle. he sets his bag down and walks over, a grin plastered on his face now as he plants a kiss on my forehead. “why are you sitting in the dark, pretty girl?”

“was waiting for you.” i confess, rising to my feet and linking my arms around his neck. his smile somehow gets wider, if that’s even possible, and he rests his hands at the bottom of my ass, practically holding it.

“waiting for me in the dark?” he chuckles as i nod.

“mhm. wanted to congratulate you, baby.” i tell him, leaning up to press my lips against his. pulling away just slightly to mumble against his lips. “you played so well tonight.”

“yeah?” he kisses me once more before pulling away to look at my eyes. i muster the most innocent yet seductive doe eyes that i can. “that turn you on, pretty girl?”

i hum in agreement and he smirks, his hands squeezing on my ass.

“yeah, i bet it did.” he presses his lips against mine, this kiss less innocent than the others. laced with passion and lust. one of his hands slips around my front to cup my breast, his thumb running over my nipple through my tank top. “i bet if i slipped my hand down those shorts of yours, you’d be soaked. wouldn’t you, princess?”

i let out a moan at his words, his lips trailing down my jawline and to the sweet spot on my neck, gently nipping and suckling at it. his hands leave their respective areas, instead tapping at the bare skin on the backs of my thighs to signal for me to jump. i do so, wrapping my legs around his waist, and he makes quick work of walking to our bedroom. his mouth detaches from my neck, throwing me onto our bed and making me giggle in delight as my back hits the soft mattress.

i watch from my spot as he strips himself of his suit jacket, unbuttoning his dress shirt and throwing it in the direction of the hamper, not quite making it. his left hand trails up my calf as he undoes his belt with his right, slipping it off and tossing it on the floor.

“let’s see if i’m right.” he smirks, tugging my leg so i slide to the foot of the bed before pulling my pajama shorts down to find me bare underneath. “no panties, hm? what a slut.”

“i didn’t feel like i needed them.” i say, blinking up at him. “you’d just take them off anyways.”

“you wanted me to fuck this pussy tonight, didn’t you? wanted me to make you come, eh?” he taunts me, his fingers swipe across my cunt, making my hips buck up towards him. he huffs out a sarcastic laugh, “aww, you’re so wet. my girl’s so needy for me. so desperate.”

kneeling onto the bed, he pulls my tank top down just enough for my tits to pop out, his mouth attaching to one of my nipples. his tongue swirls around the stiffened bud as he finally slips a finger into me, and my head drops back against the mattress as i let out a short breath.

“Jack.” i moan as he crooks his finger just right, hitting up into my g-spot, and the smirk i feel against my breast says it all. i know in this moment that i’m not getting sweet love-making Jack tonight. instead, i’m getting the version that i so desperately crave right now, the one who fucks. he adds another finger, his rough palm now rocking against my clit. “Jacky please.”

“what do you want? say it.” he tells me, detaching from my nipple. my eyes squeeze shut as he continues fucking me with his fingers, and i can feel the familiar bubble forming in my stomach. “words.”

“i need you.” i whimper.

“you have me, doll.”

“i need you to fuck me.” i profess, my hands blindly reach for him, gripping his arms as he pulls his fingers out, leaving me empty and clenching around nothing. the tension in my stomach quickly disappears and my eyes shoot open as i whine.

“thought you wanted my cock, doll? have you changed your mind?” he teases, and my head whips back and forth, telling him no. “that’s what i thought.”

i shut my legs, closing my cunt off from his penetrating gaze as he unbuttons his pants, tugging off his pants and boxer briefs and leaving him completely naked in front me. i clench my thighs together, attempting to relieve some of my neediness myself, but it doesn’t help at all, knowing what i really need is right in front of me.

“hands and knees.” he tells me, and i hurry to turn on the bed, sitting myself on my knees as i strip off my camisole and throw it across the room before settling onto my hands as well. “such a good girl for me.”

i feel his touch as he grips my ass for a moment before his hand trails up my spine, leaving goosebumps in their wake. he rubs his tip against my core and i instinctively push back against him, making him back up just slightly to avoid entering me quite yet.

“Jack, please.” i beg. my heart races in my chest at the mere thought of him inside of me, but before i have to beg anymore, he lines himself up and thrusts, filling me up. i gasp in surprise, but it quickly turns into a moan as i exhale. his hands grip my sides as we fall into a rhythm of hips snapping, my breathy moans mingling with his curses and grunts.

“such a little slut for me.” his voice is tight as his strokes get deeper, resulting in me screaming his name in response.

“you’re so big.” i praise him. “fill me so good.”

he kneels himself on the bed, giving him better control and heat rushes to my face as my stomach begins to tighten, his hands moving to grope my boobs as he thrusts. my eyes press shut as my hands fist the bed sheets.

“please, Jack. please.” i beg again. for what? i’m not entirely sure. but apparently Jack knows, because his hand sweeps up to the front of my neck, using his grip to pull my head back to look up at him. my eyes stay squeezed shut, stars forming in my blacked out vision.

“you wanna come?” he taunts me, his other hand sliding down from its place, pinching my nipple, to rub circles on my clit. i attempt a nod, letting out a whimper. “open your eyes.”

my eyes flutter open, leaving me gazing right into his blue ones.

“that’s it. look me in the eyes when you come on my cock.” i clench around him at his words, making him let out a groan. he angles his hips, hitting just the right spot as he continues rubbing my clit. “my pretty little whore.”

i let out a shaky breath as i can feel my high quickly approaching, and it seems he can tell too because he leans down to whisper into my ear.

“let go, doll.”

my legs shake, risking me falling face first on the bed if he wasn’t holding me up, and my vision goes white for a moment. the tension built in my stomach eases and i find my release as Jack continues to thrust into me, chasing his own high.

“good girl.” his praise mixed with my growing oversensitivity causes me to let out some whimpers, a tear rolling down my cheek. “i know, baby. i know.”

it doesn’t take more than a few more thrusts for him to still, both his hands gripping my hips now as he releases inside of me.

our breaths are more like pants as we both collapse onto the bed, and he pulls me closer to lay on his chest.

“you did so well for me, beautiful.” he leans down to press a gentle kiss to my lips, full of love and adoration.

“i love you.” i whisper when he pulls away, causing a soft smile to make its way onto his lips.

“i love you too, baby.” his sweet words seem to awaken something in him as he stiffens a little. “i probably should’ve asked this earlier, but you’ve been taking your birth control, right?”

i bark out a laugh at him and nod. he relaxes, blowing out a relieved sigh.

“okay, good. i mean, i love you and i definitely want you to have my children, but not right now.”

“i agree.” i tell him. “i want you all to myself for at least a couple more years.”

a grin graces his lips and he maneuvers to hover over me, peppering my face with kisses and making me bust out into a fit of giggles. he pulls back after a few moments, gazing into my eyes with admiration.

“i’m gonna go get cleaned up and get a towel. one sec.” he says, removing himself from above me and rushing off into the en suite bathroom. he’s only gone for a couple minutes before he’s returning with a wet washcloth and wiping at my sensitive core.

“thank you, love.” i smile as he finishes, throwing the towel into the hamper. he drops another kiss to my lips and walks over to the dresser, slipping some boxers on and grabbing me a t-shirt and underwear before helping me into them.

i scoot up to the top of the bed, slipping under the blanket and resting my head on my pillow as he turns off the light and slides in on his side. i settle my head into the crook of his neck, my leg hiking over his hips and my arm clinging to him as he hugs me close.

i yawn and my eyes struggle to stay open as he begins to tell me about his game and it doesn’t take long for his words to get slower and his spiel to be interrupted by his own yawns. a soft smile spreads on my lips as my eyes flutter closed, finally drifting to sleep to the sound of his tired voice.

#jack hughes #jack hughes smut #jack hughes blurb #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes imagine #jack hughes fic #nj devils #nhl smut #nhl imagine #nhl blurb #faithlynn’s writings <3

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evanpfics · 11 months

Text

Boy Next Door (I)

Tate Langdon x Reader (Angst/Story)

Warnings: cussing, arguing, stalkish vibes, mentions of an affair (wc: 2.8k)

The story is somewhat based on AHS murder house, a lot was changed though but I used it for inspiration. If you have any feedback or notice mistakes let me know kindly!

You decided to move out of Orlando, FL and into Los angeles, CA after your father had an affair with your bestfriend.

You resented your father for it, you blamed him for ruining your family’s bond. you also found it disturbing how he went for someone near your age when he was double it.

Both of your parents stayed silent the whole ride only talking to ask you if you needed anything or when they had to make quick stops for gas. You enjoyed the silence since it’s only been yelling and mayhem since your mom caught your dad in the act.

You found yourself drifting to sleep being drawn into the sounds of cars passing by, driving always had a certain sound you enjoyed.

After what seemed like seconds you woke up to the car passing a speed bump, hard. It woke you up abruptly.

“We’re here!” Your dad said excitedly.

You peered out the car window seeing a red-bricked unkept house. The garden practically suffocating the house in weeds and all sorts of plants, looked like it had no one living there for decades.

“It could use some work, but I’m sure If we worked together we can make it look brand new. Woo! Right guys?” Your dad continued sounding very proud.

Silence.

You felt the awkwardness take over and you sighed heavily before leaving the car.

Your dad was always the more excited happy one. Sad he had to make stuff sort of weird.

Your dad looked over at your mom with a awkward confused look planted on his face. Your mom rolled her eyes in response as she left the car as-well.

Leaves and plants crunched under your shoes as you walked up the few steps and reached the front door.

Your fingers guided between the crevasses of the reddish brown bricks. You can see dirt and dust leave a residue on your finger tips and you rubbed it on skirt in disgust.

You soon regretted that as the dirt left a off putting color on your skirt as you tried to wipe that away as-well. You can hear your mom trail behind you as she begins to unlock the front door.

“Oh dear, don’t get your clothes too dirty y/n. We don’t know if the washers here work yet and the closest laundromat is god knows how far.” She groaned.

You nodded your head in response as she stepped inside allowing you to soon follow.

“Go ahead and pick out your room honey, me and your dad are gonna.. figure out what to do with this place.” She said exhaustingly, sounding already tired of this place.

Can’t blame her, seemed like a lot of work just for this place. Pricing for this place was unbelievably low, you never questioned why but you assumed it was because of how unkept this place was.

You found the stairs and slowly made your way up them observing the wooden steps and hanging chandelier.

Floor boards creaked each step you took.

After seeing every room you finally chose yours. Each room was already furnished and you were surprised with the one you chose. It matched what you envisioned your room which you found odd since sellers normally go for more.. modern looks. Especially for a house like this.

You walked around your room admiring each little thing about it. Most of it seemed used as if someone was still living here. You found it odd but just assumed that if there was someone here you would’ve known by now.

After awhile of admiring antiques around your room you start to make your way down stairs to tell your parents about your chosen room.

As you step off the final step you see your parents talking to an unfamiliar woman dressed in a, maid uniform?

“Ah honey! Meet our.. new maid.” She said hesitantly unsure what to really call her.

The woman turned around revealing her elderly face. Even elderly she was quite pretty, you can see almost a story behind her eyes.

She was a red-head, half blind, fragile looking woman.

She stared at you shortly before shooting you a gentle smile.

“Hello dear, and you guys can call me Moira.”

You crept your way towards your family as the woman stuck out her hand. You shook it.

“Its nice to meet you” You said after the handshake. “Since when did we get a maid?” You asked as you stared at your parents giving them a confused look.

“Uhm well, we aren’t too sure about the idea yet. She insisted and-“ your dad said before getting cut off.

“Im willing to work for free” The woman budged in. “I can cook, clean, and do anything you’d like. Im great at it i assure you. Can do as much as cooking you cuisine to getting the most riggest stains out of whatever you’d like” she said shooting your parents a soft smile.

Her smile and attitude made you feel save. Plus her elderly figure kind of added on into your comfort. Oddly.

“Then.. I guess it will be fine, but really. Are you sure your find with working for free? I mean, we hardly know you and that just seems to generous of you.” Your mom replied, sounding very confused from her offer.

“Of course, all I ask for is for a break every Halloween to visit my mother and every other Holiday to just relax.” Moira gently stated.

“Oh my god of course, take as much time as you need. Doing this for us is already a big thing.” Your mom said sounding happy.

The room got quiet as Moira nodded and started prepping and cleaning dishes to cook, randomly.

You made your way back up the stairs and into your room. You plopped yourself on the bed before remembering you forgot to tell your mom you chose your room.

You groaned disappointingly.

“New neighbors, huh?” You heard from in-front of your bed.

You jolted up almost panicked as you stared up at what caused the noise.

You see a blonde haired boy not too far from your age staring down at you. His eyes seemed dark and empty.

“Who the hell are you?” You snapped sounding scared but trying to hide that so you would sound more intimidating.

The boy smiled, his eyes still empty which freaked you out by the lack of visible emotion behind them.

“I’m Tate. Tate Langdon. I’m your neighbor.” The boy said as he sat beside you along your bed.

You moved your legs away from him now having your knees to your chest.

“Scared?”

“No.” You stuttered a bit. Your face made slight visible frustration as you heard your own voice stutter.

Tate hesitated before laying his back on the bed.

“Now he’s just overdoing it. Getting way to comfortable and I hardly even know him.” You thought.

“Do you.. need something?” You asked after awhile of debating if you should just leave or figure out what the hell this dude is doing.

He looked over at you taking awhile to reply as he just stared. It made you uncomfortable.

“Sorry.” He said before trailing out your door.

Visible confusion took over as you wondered what just happened. You were glad dude wasn’t a total weirdo.

It still was really odd. Like who does that?

After a bit of processing on your bed you stood up unpacking your clothes.

You thought everything in your room is beautiful and felt unbelievably lucky.

You stuffed your drawers with clothes.

You took out your very few records.

“Shit.” You thought to yourself.

You packed your records but totally forgot the god damn record player.

You lightly needed your eye brows in frustration before hearing a sound behind you.

You jolted towards the sound to see what caused it.

Nothing.

You slowly walked towards your nightstand expecting some sort of rat or spider judging based on the house.

Sudden rattling was heard from under your bed which really crept you out.

After awhile of going back and fourth on weither or not you even want to look under the dark shadow under your bed possibly being greeted by some human sized pest.

Which was just you exaggerating; but the idea still made you shiver.

You finally gain the courage to look under your bed.

You laughed at yourself a bit seeing as nothing was there, but a box shaped object?

You pulled it out.

Your eyes widened in surprise.

“This house must be able to fucking read minds!” You thought to yourself.

You opened the box in half revealing a record players interior.

You blew away the visible dust smiling in delight that your misfortunate forgetfulness didn’t totally turn out horribly.

You took the record out of its sheet and gently placed it onto the record player lightly pressing the needle onto the record allowing it to play.

You lightly hummed to the songs rhythm as you set the record player on your dresser. You finished taking everything out of your bags as you plop them on the floor kicking them under your bed.

You left your pajamas on the bed. You picked them up swiftly before deciding to take a quick shower before you slept. You entered the bathroom being able to see the white marbled tub and beautiful white tiles.

The house definitely looked better from the inside than the outside. You set your clothes neatly on-top of the counter as you prepped your shower. The drops of water echoing through out the bathroom.

You got undressed and placed yourself in the shower allowing yourself to relax under the showers soothing rain. You quickly washed your hair and body before stepping out, turning the shower off as you exited.

You dried yourself off before hearing glass shatter and screaming coming from downstairs.

You frantically dried the rest of your body and changing into your clothes before running down the stairs, steps creaking as you make your way down.

You found your father yelling at someone whom you have never even seen in your life. You exhaled in relief since you thought something more outrageous happened. You watched them argue hidden behind the corner.

It was just the glass vase that dropped, you were a bit upset since the base wasn’t totally horrible looking. After hearing their argument you assumed it was one of your dads patients.

He often treated patients. He was a therapist. He held his sessions at home so the patient must’ve came by to be treated just to be unhappy with whatever service he provided.

“You said you would help me! Not just constantly treat me as if I’m fucking crazy. IM NOT FUCKING CRAZY, YOU UNDERSTAND?” The patient screamed.

“Please just calm down, I never said you were crazy, okay? i just-“

“FORGET YOU AND YOUR SHITTY SESSIONS! I CAN FIND SOMEONE WAY BETTER WHO CAN ACTUALLY HELP.” The patient yelled, cutting your dad off, giving him no time to speak.

The door slammed shut. Your dad exhaled sternly massaging his forehead. He placed his clipboard on the nightstand near the door before grabbing the broom and sweeping up the remains of the broken glass.

You shuffled towards him as his eyes met yours.

“Oh hello sweetheart, do you like the house so far?” He smiled as if nothing happened.

You nodded.

“Mhm.” You hummed. “I picked out my room and everything, do you know where mom is?” You questioned.

He swept up the rest of the glass before responding. “Yeah.. yeah. She’s helping the maid clean. You know how she is. Would feel too bad letting her do it alone even if she insisted.”

You smiled. “That’s totally her.” You replied as you looked around unsure what to really do.

“Oh yeah!” You said as you recalled the strange boy in your room earlier. “Did you by chance have a certain patient here? One named tate langdon.”

Your dad looked at you then away trying to recall anyone named Tate.

“Blonde hair.. green and black striped-“

“Oh! Tate, yes.” Your dad shouted lightly as he remembered who you were asking about.

“He had set an appointment with me earlier after we found out we were neighbors. How do you know him?” Your dad asked before making his way into the kitchen dumping the broken glass out into the trash can.

“Ah nothing, just overheard the name and got curious.” You said hesitantly.

“Hm.. okay. You should head to bed honey the trip was unbelievably longer than expected just to get here.” He said reluctantly.

You made your way back upstairs and into your room. The music still flooding the room making you instantly feel safe. You laid down onto your bed wrapping yourself in your blankets before dozing off to sleep.

…

You felt a dent form in your mattress. You can hear your record playing then stopping then playing again over and over due to the needle finally reaching the end of the whole record creating light buzzing sounds.

You lifted your upper body up rubbing your eyes. You open them.

You jolted back opening your mouth getting ready to let out a scream.

A hand quickly covered your mouth before even being able to let out the slightest noise. Their reflexes kind of caught you off guard.

Your body squirmed as you grabbed their arm trying to remove it. They fought back making you have to take time to catch your breath knowing they would overpower you easily, no matter how hard you tried.

“Stop. STOP!” They yelled still in a quiet tone making sure no one else can hear it. “I’m not gonna hurt you, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have scared you like that. Please.”

Your eyes locked with theirs. You stared at your clock seeing as it was 2:30AM. You store back at him making eye contact with him again.

You nodded your head hesitantly still a bit shaken up. They removed their hand and you continued to catch your breath.

“What are you doing here, Tate?”

He stared at you making himself put up an almost fake looking smile.

“This use to be my room you know? Still have all of my stuff in it. Not that you seem to mind.” He said as he looked around the room then staring at his moved record player.

“Oh shit, my bad. I didnt know any of this was yours.” You said slightly panicked.

“Don’t worry about it, I don’t need any of this stuff anymore so don’t think about it too much.” He gently stated.

“This stuff is kind of old anyways, hardly come in here anymore anyways.”

You planted a confused look on your face.

“So how old are you?” You questioned him.

“Y/A. I’m y/a.” He said sounding somewhat more stern. Caught you off guard.

He surprisingly was the same age as you.

“Do you still come into here or something?.. since you said you hardly come in here anymore.” You asked sounding puzzled.

He stared at you as if he was trying to find out what to say.

“No, no. I just- no. When this use to be mine I mainly hung around outside of the house. Hardly ever really home.” He hesitated.

“Why’s that?” You questioned.

He seemed a bit surprised from your sudden interest in what he has to say.

“Well, my moms a real bitch. My dad left at a young age probably because of her too. Wouldn’t be surprised.” He chucked to himself.

You were a bit surprised and stunned from his openness. Like yeah you did ask, but you weren’t expecting him to just dive into it.

“How did you even get in here?”

“Extra key. Kept it and the owners never asked for it sooo..” he said as he held up a key.

You sighed.

“Well, can you at least not just sneak up on me whenever? It gets kind of uncomfortable. I hardly know you.”

He laughed a bit.

“Well, as far as I’m concerned, you know more about me then I do you. Don’t even know your name.” He said clicking his tongue.

You rolled your eyes. “I’m y/n.”

“Y/n? That’s a nice name. Very nice to just hear.”

You smiled a bit.

“See? Now we are more acquainted. So, can I come in here whenever now?”

Your face became stern.

“Fine Fine.” He sighed sarcastically.

“Can I at least still visit you?” He smirked. His smile seemed actually real this time.

“I guess, but don’t expect much. I’m not gonna warm up to you just because I know your name. Your still just some creep who broke into my room, twice now.” You stated.

He stood up, he walked to the door before staring back taking in the view of his room. He smiled at you before leaving.

Something about his eyes drew you in, but also made you scared of what could be in them. He seemed sweet, but it felt as if there was something.. beyond that.

It made you oddly interested in the guy.

Hoping to meet him again soon.

Inspired by American Horror Story; Murder House. (2011)

135 notes · View notes

kitixie · 9 months

Text

Gardens of Babylon / T.S.

word count: 4k

information: whew. y'all, this one is long but i am so so proud of it. i loved getting to write this, and i feel like "cowboy like me" now belongs to Tommy. please enjoy!!

warnings: sadness, a lot of self introspection

There had been parties around Birmingham all year, but this one was poised to be the best. Large, white tents covered the ground of the luxurious backyard, the grass freshly trimmed. The pristine flower bushes were banked in sprays of purple, pink and yellow flowers, filling the air with a refreshing scent. Taking in your surroundings was one of your favorite parts of the job. You learn so much about people based on the smallest detail, like how they arrange tables, how well they dress for their own event, how well people try to hide the skeletons in their closets for the night.

When you were 16, you became your fathers right hand woman. Taking charge of stake-outs, surveying the people your father saw as a threat, and other tasks that most fathers would never let their daughter do. But your father was blinded by his power, only seeing what he could gain, never seeing what others would lose. That’s how you wound up here, five years later, striding through a stranger's yard, using a fake name to get into the event. You just had one specific mission tonight: make contact with Thomas Shelby.

You found him an hour after the party had started, lounging against an outdoor wall with a cigarette hanging from his mouth. You waited, pulling your own smoke from your small purse, and lighting it up. Standing casually with your shoulders relaxed against the wall, you breathed in, deeply inhaling the nicotine. Immediately, any of the nerves you had relaxed. Thomas was just a man, albeit a dangerous one, but he would never even know your real name. No matter what came from tonight, you would end up back home in your bed. Closing your eyes and opening your ears, you could hear the sounds of music. It was a slow tempo song, but the melody was beautiful. It was a familiar song, although you couldn’t put your tongue on the name of it. Softly humming the song, you stamped out your cigarette and followed the music past Thomas towards the courtyard. Just as your kitten heels touched the dancing floor that had been laid over the grass, a tall figure stopped beside you.

“It’s lovely, isn’t it?” The man asked, only visible in your peripheral.

“It is, I-“ You turned to face the man, it was Thomas.

You took him in, he looked much different up close. His file only said ‘brown hair, blue eyes, average build’, but you could see nothing average about the man. He was thick, with wide shoulders and a well defined waist. His eyes weren’t just blue, they were pools of sky and ocean and reflections of the string lights hanging above your heads. His hair was varying shades of brown, ranging from lighter pieces of caramel to deep strands that were almost black. His eyebrows were dark and prominent on his face, but they weren’t too much like some men. His pink lips were turned up into a small smile, and your eyes scanned his face again before catching on his mouth for a moment. You looked him in the eyes as the music changed, the new song catching your attention.

“Care for a dance Miss….?” He trailed off, waiting for you to tell him your name.

“Dancing is a dangerous game, Mr. Shelby. But yes, I’d be happy to dance with you.”

He offered his hand, and the two of you stepped into the crowd of swaying people. He placed his left hand on your waist. The right hand gripping yours. He slowly began swaying the both of you in time to the music, before he spoke.

“I still don’t know ya name, Love. How come ya already know mine?” He asked, meeting your eyes.

“My name is Taylor, and I’m not sure if ya know, but you're quite famous around here, Mr. Shelby.” You said, trying to rain in your anxiety.

Had you fucked up by calling him by his name? He knew he had enemies, and if he was smart, he’d see right through the little innocent girl facade you were using. But maybe, he wasn’t that smart. Maybe, he’d see you, you’d be his perfect type, and there would be no more questions. Maybe the two of you would spend more time together after this and you could cover for yourself even more… no. The rules your father had given were very specific, and you were to stick to them tightly. No unauthorized time with the subject of the mission, at any point in time. The rules were rules for a reason, and there was no questioning them. You had worked to hard, come home too many times with your hands caked in both literal and metaphorical blood to stray now. But this was different, he was different. He wasn’t the usual rich prick who got off too far in debt or the typical middle men who worked for your father than needed to be eliminated. He was someone, something, else entirely. He was kind, and his hands were gentle. His voice was soft yet commanding, and you knew that this man could tell you to drop to your knees and you would, even if your father was standing right behind you. Perhaps dancing with him was more of a dangerous game than you thought.

“You’re right about that one, Love. Sometimes I just forget who I am when I see a beautiful woman.” He crooned, swinging your arm and making your skirts furl around you as you twirled.

A blush crept across your face, a laugh breaking through your lips.

“Thank you, Mr. Shelby, I-“

“Please, call me Tommy.” He interrupted.

“Tommy,” you repeated, letting his name run through your mouth, “I appreciate the compliment but I’m sure there are prettier women at this party.”

“I didn’t say pretty, Taylor, I said beautiful.” He spoke, sliding his hand from your waist to cup your jaw, forcing your eyes to hold his gaze.

“Actu-, never mind. Thank you, Tommy.”

Fuck. You had almost corrected him on your name. You needed to get away from him, his scent filling your head and making you feel almost high. It was intoxicating, and it was trouble. No man had ever made you feel like this, not ever. No one had ever taken away you sharpness, and without your wits you felt naked. You inhaled a deep breath, and thanked God when the song ended and he stepped back from you.

“Taylor, if ya would be willin’, I’d like to spend more time with ya.” Tommy spoke, something sparkling in his eye.

You swore you knew that look, it was the same look you always gave to targets, to draw them in and make them trust you. To make them do as you said. Before you could even think about it, your mouth opened.

“I’d love that, Tommy.” You smiled, willing that feeling of mistrust to go away.

You deserved this, to enjoy him. Even if he was wrong, even if he was your target. You had never wanted love, you had always wanted other things for yourself. But you wanted Tommy, and so for tonight, you would allow yourself to have him.

“What’ll ya have to drink, Love?” Tommy spoke, turning his entire body towards you.

He had taken you to a place called The Garrison, which you knew he frequented, but ‘Taylor’ had to act like she’d never heard of it. You’d spent many nights holed up in the dark back corner of this bar, watching him and his brothers pass in and out of the back room.

“Just a whiskey, please,” You smiled at him, “Whatever kind you’re having is fine.”

“So and Irish then?” He asked, and you nodded your head in response.

At least that wasn’t a lie, you did enjoy whiskey on occasion, but never while you had been working. Always the professional, you were thinking of how to use this to your advantage. Drunk Tommy would surely divulge some sort of weakness? Right?

Tommy grabbed your drinks, and led you to the backroom of the pub. The room was empty, now except for the two of you. He sat down, choosing the table that was circled by a booth seat. He sat with his back to the door, which was an interesting choice that didn’t go unnoticed by you. You sat on the opposite side of the semicircle, and that small creeping feeling came back into your mind. You knew him, more than he would ever know. Thomas Shelby would never put himself at a disadvantage, never. So why put his back to the only door in the room? Why let you be the one with a clear path to escape if somehow this all went wrong? Was he that confident in his ability to charm and wow you, that he would dangle an exit in front of your face, only to be sure that you wouldn’t take it? Your brain was running a thousand words a second, never letting up on the thought that Tommy, who had yet to show any hint of cruelty towards you, was one step ahead. Had he figured you out? It wasn’t possible, your father made sure you stayed hidden until he wanted you to be seen, and even then, you were only seen by those you wanted to see you. How would he have known you were an operative for your father? Did your stumble earlier when he said your alias give you away? Was it the way that you clearly did not belong in the crowd at that party, feet slightly swollen by the tight heels, shoulders hunched over due to the many days you spent curled in a chair by the window? How could he have kn-

“Drink, Love. A blind man could see that somethings on your mind. What is it?” He spoke, sliding a glass of whiskey across the table toward you.

You shakily wrapped your fingers around the glass, pulling it to your lips and taking a long sip.

“It’s nothin’, just reliving some family troubles in my head. I’d much rather be focused on you though.” You said, allowing a sultry tone to enter your voice; men could never resist.

“If it's botherin’ ya, it’s not nothing. Tell me about it, believe me, I understand family troubles.” He laughed, taking a swallow from his own glass.

“I don’t want to rehash it, Tommy, if it’s all the same to you.” You put a stern face on, not liking him questioning you.

He raised his hands in an apologetic movement, sitting back in his seat. He grazed his eyes across your face, looking over you. Suddenly you felt small, sitting in front of him, telling him half-lies and half-truths. Not that he’d ever know, but you did. The realization that you felt bad for lying to him shot a sharp pain of sadness through your chest, only to be beaten by the overwhelming sense of anger that you felt for feeling bad at all. This was a job, and while yes, you had agreed to let yourself enjoy tonight, that didn’t mean forgetting your assignment.

“Tell me about you, Tommy. You have this sense of mystery that I can’t figure out for the life of me.” You said, tracing your fingertip around the rim of your glass.

“Not much to tell, darlin’. I live here in Birmingham with my family, we run a small business. No mum or dad to speak of, I spend a lot of time here, just watchin’.” He spoke, and you felt like he was telling the truth.

Not that he had said anything you didn’t already know, you knew about his mom and dad, and you knew a hell of a lot about his ‘small business’ as he put it. You knew all about his family, you had almost decided to go for Arthur instead of Tommy, but then you realized that just because Arthur was older didn’t mean he was in charge, and then Tommy became your main target.

You nodded your head at him, storing all of the information he had said in exact detail in your brain. Tommy studied you, almost as if he was doing the same thing you were. Except now, you thought that he was only studying you because he was interested in you. He watched your eyes, holding contact anytime you accidentally met his. He looked at your cheeks, your mouth, all the way down to your slightly exposed collar bones. He gave you another moment, before speaking up again.

“Would you like to dance with me, Love?” He asked, extending his hand to you.

“There’s no music Tommy, what do ya want to dance to?” You laughed, accepting his hand into yours regardless.

A spark of electricity flew between your connected fingertips, and instead of flinching, you pulled him closer. Now standing in front of him, you had forgotten how tall he was in the short time the both of you had been sitting.

“I was thinking you could sing, or I can hum if that’ll suffice. I just want to dance with you, Taylor.” He spoke, his shining eyes looking into yours with what seemed like only adoration.

“Start humming then, Tommy, because I can’t carry a tune in a bucket,” you laughed, “My mother could sing wonderfully, but I never inherited that talent.”

Tommy began to hum, a soft song coming from his lips. It sounded familiar, but you couldn’t place it. Not that it mattered, if you ever recognized the song, this would be the moment it was tied to. This second in time, burned into your brain for the rest of your life. His hands delicately on your waist, with your hung over his shoulders. Your fingers lightly scratching the nape of his neck while he rubbed his hand up and down your back, slowly swaying the both of you in rhythm to the song he was creating. The skirt of your dress swishing around the both of your feet, the quieted sounds of the pub outside going silent in your mind. Here, in your space, it was only you and Tommy. Over the years, you had charmed countless men, telling them anything they wanted to hear, even doing some of the questionable things they wanted to do. Whatever it took to get the job done. This felt different though, this felt soft and warm and inviting. Tommy felt like he belonged in your arms, and that if he were to leave them, the awkward limbs would never fit against your side again. He felt like a home, a breath of fresh air, a lover. This was romantic and sweet, and the longing in his eyes and gentle touch of his hands only escalated that feeling for you.

Tommy stopped humming a few minutes later, but he continued swaying with you in his grasp. He leaned his head towards yours, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your hair. You nuzzled your head into his chest, inhaling the scent of tobacco and whiskey. He let his lips linger on your crown, not moving from his spot.

“I think I should take ya home, aye Love? It’s pretty early in the morning.” He softly said, almost not speaking loud enough to hear.

“If that’s what you want, Tommy. I’d be content to stay here dancing with you for a very, very long time.” You tilted your head up at him.

Tommy slid his hands up your back and over your shoulders, ending with his palms against your cheeks. He stared into your eyes for the hundredth time that evening, and there was something unfamiliar in them. Whatever he was feeling, you couldn’t read it, but you didn’t care. All caution and sense gone to the wayside, you perched on your tiptoes and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. He deepened the kiss, pulling your entire body into his. The two of you fit together perfectly, bodies molding into each other, forming one being. This kiss was only your second kiss ever, so there wasn’t much to compare to, but it was mind blowing. His warmth spreading all over your body, from your connected lips to the spots his hands rested to the way he had situated you with your legs on either side of one of his lean legs.

Eventually you pulled away, finally needing air. He still cupped your face, both of your foreheads pressed together. His chest was heaving, panting breaths coming from both of your mouths.

“It’s time to get you home, Love. Before I lose all composure and ruin this perfect night.” He breathed, untangling your bodies and pulling his face from yours. He still held your hand, leading you toward the door that would lead into the main pub, then out of the bar altogether. You took in the scene one last time, knowing that this could never happen again after tonight. You had let your ambitions slip, almost too far to come back from. Your heart beat wildly, the organ not caring about the betrayal you were imposing upon your father. How could you care about that miserable man, when the God that was Thomas Shelby was holding your hand, escorting you to your apartment?

Tommy deposited you at the door to your small apartment, the walk to your home having been mostly silent. No words needed to be shared between the two of you, both of you having the dreading feeling of something coming. You didn’t know what was coming, but none of it mattered as he pressed his lips gently to your cheek, before pulling back to speak.

“I had a wonderful time tonight, Love. Would you mind if I called you sometime to do it again one day?” He smiled, softly rubbing your cheek with his thumb.

“I’d love that, Tommy.” You grinned back, writing your phone number down onto a small piece of paper you had in your purse.

He took the paper, pressing one last kiss to your lips. His mouth was firm against yours, yet it moved so softly and swiftly that the fierceness in his actions didn’t scare you. Your body reacted, back arching into him while your mouth matched his movements. You gripped the side of his face, daring him to try and back away before you were done with him. His hands clasped around your waist, tugging on your already arched back, trying to get you as close to him as possible. The both of you tugged and moved against each other, not caring that you were in a hallway and that any neighbor, all of whom worked for your father, could step out at any moment. Almost sensing your tensing, Tommy slowly pulled away, resting his forehead against yours, staring into your eyes while his chest heaved.

“I’ll see you later, Tommy?” You asked, hoping and praying that he’d say yes.

“Goodbye, Taylor.” He smiled, kissing your hands before turning and walking down the hallway, your paper still tucked in his left hand.

It had been four days since you met Tommy, and two days since you started being paranoid. You would not leave your machine unattended for more than 10 minutes at a time, and when you had to leave its side for things like food and cleaning yourself, you made sure no other noise was going on so that you’d be able to hear it when it rang. He had to call eventually, he had said he would. You knew he was a lot of things, but a liar was not one of his descriptors in his file. He had never been known as a man who didn’t tell the truth, his truthfulness was honestly one of his greatest downfalls. It got him in trouble quite often, causing him to blurt off whatever he was thinking, with no care for the consequences.

This time wasn’t different, right? Surely he didn’t charm you all night, walk you home, ask for your number, make out with you outside the door of your apartment, then just not call?

The anxiety had begun to take its toll, your skin becoming more pale and dreary than usual, eyes slightly hollowing from the lack of proper food and sleep. No time could be wasted, not when he could call at any hour. You waited, and waited, and waited. He would remember what the two of you shared, surely. He would.

On day seven, you found a small paper slid under your door. It wasn’t from your fathers office, and you didn’t recognize any of your few friends stationary. Cautiously, you unfolded it, reading the words scrawled in ink.

‘Taylor, or should I say Y/N, I hope this letter finds you well. Truly. However, I do not like being lied to. You have not received any calls from me because I never intended to call you. I let my wits leave me that night, and it will never happen again. You are not who you said you were, and for that I cannot ever trust you again. If you ever see me in Birmingham, do not approach me and pray my brothers do not see you first. I liked you, Darling, I am damn near certain I loved you, but that does not matter if I cannot trust you. I know who your father is, I have known from the moment I saw you smoking in that courtyard, yet you were so beautiful I could not help myself. Do not worry, for your sake, I will not speak of this to anyone if you do not. If you do, I will know, and I will be forced to retaliate. I wish you the best in this life, Love.

All the best,

Thomas Shelby

& The Peaky Blinders’

You dropped the paper, letting it flutter to the floor. Tears welled in your eyes, spilling down your cheeks. How could you ever be so foolish? You had let this man control your life for the past seven days, dictating how you ate, how you slept, how you looked at yourself. Every doubt of his character from that night came rushing back. You had been right to think those things of him, to not trust him, but he was so beautiful and gentle, and he sucked you in. He devoured you, and you were happy to offer yourself up for him. You would have been happy to do anything he asked of you.

Your breaths began to become short and exasperated, your face hot and wet from the tears. It felt like a chokehold around your throat, but there were no hands on your throat but your own. You clawed at your skin, willing it to tear open just so you could breathe, but it didn’t happen. You scratched and scratched until you bled, only stopping when you saw the crimson underneath your fingernails. Breathing still did not come, so you laid on the floor, sobbing and heaving, until you had no more tears and oxygen entered your lungs once more. You clung to the piece of paper, the last bit of Tommy you would ever have. You could not have him, but you had his words and his handwriting. You had the faintest smell of him in the paper, the littlest bit of him still with you. His words would be all that you were left with, while he was saddled with his love and your guilt. You wished you had just told him your name, just told him who you were. Damn all of this if it meant you could have him, but it was too late. You would never get to see him again, never get to smell him, never get to touch him. You would never have any part of Tommy Shelby ever again except for this letter and your memories. No man would compare to him, no man could. The way he held you, the way conversation was so effortless and comfortable. The way that even in silence, he filled up a space, never letting you feel alone. He was something so special, so tangible, and you had lost him. There would never be another love for you, never be anyone else. He was your love, even if only for that night, and you knew in your soul that you would never love again.

#tommy shelby fic #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby x you #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby x y/n #peaky blinder fanfic #thomas shelby #tommy shelby x reader #thomas shelby fic #tommy shelby #peaky fucking blinders #peaky blinders #kitixiewrites

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nattinatalia · 1 year

Text

Jack Harlow x Reader : MISSING BIRTHDAYS

Requested by my bubbles 🫧 @hoodharlow 💙 🩵

Last night you celebrated Ezequiel’s fifth birthday party. A birthday party that you and Jack have been planning on for a while.

You were excited to see all your family and friends, some that you haven’t seen in a while. But most importantly, you were excited to celebrate your son.

It should’ve been an amazing time, with all the kids running around, fighting inside the jumper. To the tíos and tias getting rowdy over the music choice and which beer tastes better .

But sadly, it was nothing how you imagined it to be. In fact it was the total opposite and there was only one person to blame.

You, Mia and Ezequiel were in the living room sitting on the floor, opening the birthday presents Ez didn’t get into yesterday at his party.

You were halfway through a boxed present when you heard the front door being opened then closed.

You face your kids and notice Mia goes wide eyed and Ezequiel is just looking down at his little hands.

“Hey I’m home.” Jack announces as he walks into the living room with a huge smile on his face.

“Hi daddy.” Mia stands up and goes to hug him.

“Trator” Ez whispers loud enough for only you to hear.

“What’s all this?” Jack points to the pile of wrapping paper and toys.

“Presents Cheesy got.” Mia answers him.

“He got presents delivered early?”

You scoff and roll your eyes.

Ez stands up, looks at Jack with a sad and disappointing look on his face, but more so hurt. “Thanks for membering my birthday.”

Jack chuckles “What?”

“You pinky promised.” Ez lets out with a shake to his voice and walks out the living room.

“What is he talking about?”

“Unbelievable.” You stand up and start picking up the trash. “Yesterday was his birthday party, you know the one we’ve been planning for months.?”

Jack looks confused. “No, that’s until the twenty fourth.” He takes out his phone to probably check the date. “FUCK.”

“Daddy.” Mia warns him with a smirk, as she takes a handful of popcorn.

“Mia, not now please baby.” Jack tells her and follows after you to the kitchen.

“Y/N. I totally forgot, I’ve been super busy and my head has been all over the place.”

“We don’t make poor excuses when it comes to our kids. We made a promise to always be there for the important occasions involving them.” You slam the top of the trash can and turn around to face your husband. “He waited for you, he didn’t even get to enjoy his party because he kept looking out to see if his daddy would show up.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Are we those parents now? We put our jobs before our children?.” You walk back to the living room.

“You’re being a bit unfair here Y/N.” He shakes his head. “I can’t always put work on hold like you do to yours. I admit, I forgot about his party but you can’t hold it against me when my work it’s what’s feeding our family.”

“Wow, just wow Jackman.” You shake your head. “Find somewhere else to stay tonight.”

“I didn’t mean that, babe just cut me some slack.”

“You think I don’t get it? You think I don’t understand that you have a career? That I don’t see everything you’ve been doing? I do and I couldn’t be more proud of you.” You close your eyes for a few seconds and then open them right away, taking in a deep breath to control yourself.

“I’m not mad because you work Jack, I’m mad because you promised that little boy you’d be here. He asked you time and time again if you had work, and you said no every single time. My little boy was heartbroken yesterday.” You wipe a tear from your cheek, “You could’ve called or something, and maybe just maybe things would’ve been different.” You head out the living room to go look for your son.

Jack groans and sits down on the couch, his head leaning back on the armrest.

“Dad?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you and mommy gonna be okay?”

Jack sits up and faces his daughter. “We will be bug, I pro-“

Mia shakes her head, cutting him off “No promises.” She says sadly.

“I deserve that.”

She shrugs, “I’m not trying to be mean dad, but Cheesy was really sad. He didn’t even eat cake and you know he loves cake.”

“Hello? The door was unlocked losers.” A voice is heard coming from the foyer.

Jack groans “Great, the instigators are here.”

“We heard that bum.”

“Yeah that’s why I said it.” He looks up and sees it’s Blanca, Ree and Lucy, Y/N cousins. Jack stands from the couch and stands in the middle of the living room.

“Well if it isn’t the dead beat dad.” Ree says, glaring at Jack.

“Calm down, I’m around my kids so no need for the insults.”

“Ohhh what is that tia B?” Mia points at what Blanca is holding.

“This is for EZ.” She uncovers the box. “Le prometí traerle pan dulce.”

Mia smiles “Su favorito.”

“Llévaselos mientras hablamos con tu papá.” Blanca carefully hands Mia the box.

“Tia be nice.” She warns Blanca, then faces Ree and Lucy. “Him and mommy are fighting so don’t be mean to him.”

The three of them smile. “We’ll try our best bug.” Lucy makes no promises.

Mia groans. “Evil tias.” She shrugs. “I dig it.” And she walks out the living room.

“Say whatever you’re about to say.” Jack rolls his eyes.

“We’re not saying anything.” Lucy tells him.

“Uh yeah we are.” Ree says right away.

“I think it’s funny that you like to say family this, family that. But you can’t even make it to your son's birthday party.” Blanca shrugs. “Couldn’t be me.”

“BLANCA.” You gasp out as soon as you walk back into the living room.

“I’m just saying,” Blanca shrugs.

You shake your head. “They’re in the playroom.”

Ree smiles and goes to hug you, sensing that you’ve been arguing with Jack, which probably led to you crying. “We just came to drop off the pan dulce for the little man.”

“We saw Urban with Cassie and baby mama, so we knew little man would need his sweats”

“Thank you.”

The girls head out, leaving you and Jack alone.

“Not once, not once have I said you’re a terrible father and I’m not going to start now.” You cross your arms standing a few feet away from him.

“Y/N-“

“Before you start, understand that I’m not mad that you worked. I’m upset that we asked you numerous times if you were sure about having the weekend off and you said yes. I’m upset and hurt that you let my baby boy down. If you would’ve told us you had work, he would’ve understood that, because newsflash Jackman, our kids are way smarter and understanding than what you give them credit for.”

“I know I messed up babe, I do. But I didn’t do it on purpose. Chris keeps booking me for all these overseas festivals and I can’t back out of them.”

“I honestly don’t even want to listen to your poor excuses. What’s done is done, what you said to me it’s understood.”

“Y/N, I’m sor” you cut him off, getting annoyed. You’re probably overreacting, but you can’t just erase the broken look your son had all day yesterday.

“Don’t you dare apologize to me, you said what you said, own that shit.” You tuck your hair behind your ear, so it’s away from your face. “Apologize to my son, make it up to him. He’s the only one that matters rights now.” You go and sit down on the couch, letting out more tears.

Jack kneels in front of you, holds your hand but you quickly move out his hold. “Baby.” He whispers.

You turn the opposite way, not wanting to look at him. “Please look at me.”

“Jack, just go fix things with Ezequiel.” You whimper out.

Jack stands up and goes towards the playroom. “You and mommy need to chill, so what if daddy had work? He always does.” He hears Mia say.

“He pinky promised, he said theys are portant.” Ez tells her.

“Okay point made bu-“

“Mia, can I speak to your brother alone please?”

“Are you going to make him cry?” Mia glares.

“What? Of course not. Alize Mia, go color or something.”

“Fine, fine. Everyone is just grumpy today.” She mutters on her way out the room.

“Hey little man, can we talk?”

Ez shrugs, “I don’t wanna.”

“Okay, how about I talk and you listen?”

Ez nods sadly.

“I know sorry isn’t enough to make it up to you. I know I let you down buddy, but it was never my intention to do that to you.” Jack reaches for Ezequiel and they both lay down on the huge bean bag.

“What can I do to make it up to you?” Jack brushes his fingers through his son’s curls.

Ezequiel shrugs “I don’t know.”

“You’re allowed to be sad little man, I let you down and you’re more than welcomed to those feelings. I’ll never stop apologizing.”

“Can I go with momma?”

“Y-yeah little man.” Jack let’s EZ stand up but stops him. “I love you okay? That’s never going to change.”

Ez nods and runs out the room.

Jack is left alone in his kids playroom, laying on the beanbag.

“Well daddy,” Mia announces, jumping on the bean bag. “Seems like we’re sleeping at Nino Urban’s house and planning on how you’re gonna make it up to mommy and Cheesy.”

“Mia.”

“What? You’re in the dog house or whatever grandma says to grandpa when they fight.”

Jack shakes his head, he turns to look by the entrance of the door and sees you passing by with Ezequiel in your arms, most likely heading to the bedroom.

Jack quickly turns to face Mia, “What’s your plan? How can I make it up to them?”

“This is gonna cost you.” Mia warns him.

“Yes, anything.”

Mia smiles and claps her hands. “Okay soo…”

• • • • • • • • • •

TAG LIST

@heavyhitterheaux @harlowsbby @arination99 @cmalass @jackharloww @minkookie95 @deannaard @jacksmoviestar @harlowcomehome @fdl305 @httpkoylinnn @xoxokiaraaxoxo @hoodharlow @automaticpeachsong @amethyst09 @aliciacat20 @allyson15 @gabbylovesreading @stefansalvatoresgf @violetdreamsworld @carma-fanficaddict @jasminxts @itsaaliyah2 @itsyagirljaz @harrycanyonmoonn @neon-lights-and-glitter @awhore4moree

#jack harlow #jack harlow x yn #jack harlow x y/n #jack harlow x you #jack harlow x oc #jack harlow x reader #jackman thomas harlow #jack harlow fic

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sunelia · 9 months

Text

GETO X READER : MEMORIES OF US

hi! i’m kinda nervous lol first time i share something here i hope you guys enjoy it!

pairings: geto suguru x fem!reader

cw: female reader - mentions of death - character death - blood - angst - sad ending

synopsis: finally returning home after some time away living outside the country, you decide to come back and unpack your things until you find a box filled with memories inside, memories of who once was the love of your life. He was no longer by your side, and you constantly wondered why your heart was still his and if you were given a chance to see him one last time.

word count: 2.4k

You dropped your suitcase on the floor, exhausted by the trip. It was 10 pm on a winter night and you were finally back in your tiny apartment you were proud to call home. The urge to curl up in your bed was tempting, but you had to freshen up before you could unpack all your things and start anew.

After a long relaxing shower, you put on comfy pajamas and start to tidy up your stuff in your drawers. Your arms were numb from folding your clothes, while your stomach began to make noises. It was time to eat. You hadn't eaten since your flight, but it was late and you didn't have time to run any errands, plus you were tired. Luckily for you, you had instant noodles in your kitchen. By the time you let the noodles cook in the hot water, you had prepared a little space on your couch where you could enjoy them. You turn on the TV and select the first channel you see, leaving it as a background noise.

As you get up to fetch your meal, you come across the small wood table in which where was a box covered by a little bit of dust, cute stickers and a Polaroid sticking out of it. You instantly knew what was inside and couldn’t stop your hand from reaching for it. You take the box and place it on your couch then set off to get your noodles. Back on your couch, the smell and steam of the noodles fills your nose as the moon illuminates the room with a bath of light. You take a deep breath, mentally preparing yourself and blow the lid of the box before opening it. You take and turn the Polaroid over so that the photo is hidden. Inside the box were notes from your high school friends, a collection of interchangeable erasers in the shape of animals or people, and a bunch of other Polaroids. Pictures of you and your friends in all sorts of situations, but also photos of him, smiling next to you. You take a short break, eat your noodles, and realize you've opened Pandora's box.

You lie down on the sofa and take the photo you turned over a few minutes earlier. It was the most meaningful photo of the two of you you kept everyday on your phone and you remembered exactly how you'd put it back in the box that afternoon when he broke up with you, tears streaming down your cheeks. Since that day, you hadn't touched it again.

You take the photo in your hand and plunge years back in time to that day when you were ice skating. It was your way of expressing yourself, of sharing emotions that no words could describe. Geto always appreciated the way you danced, the fluidity and delicacy that emanated from your movements. When you started dating and throughout your relationship, you introduced him to your passion, even though he didn't really know how to stand on ice, he made the effort to enter your world. You spent many moments on ice, you were holding him back from falling, laughing to the point where your stomachs would hurt. It was a bubble the two of you shared and the best moments you spent with him. That photo was taken by the lovely rink cleaner, Geto was holding on your waist while you were making bunny ears behind his head, both of you enjoying the moment. He was looking at you with so much love. This was the hardest picture you possessed because it showed how intimate he was for you to open up about your world.

You let out a huge sigh and turn off the TV. The same pain you felt back years ago was still there. Even when you both parted ways, even when you left the country to grow strong and live a new life, it was still there. Your hand unconsciously stroked the photo as you realize your gesture. Despite all the anger and pain you felt towards him, you couldn't stop carrying him in your heart, wondering why he'd cut you out of his life the moment he felt so lonely, loosing his subtle smile, dark circles under his eyes. You wondered if he was well surrounded, if he had eaten, and sometimes you thought about being ever included in his true ideal. It was enough for your poor mind, you let the box remain opened as you started to walk in your bedroom, wiping your silent tears.

Morning came fast, you were still saddened by last night. As you walk past the sofa, you close the lid of the box.

“Nah! Not today sir” you mumbled.

Today’s plan was to go out to buy some groceries, and so you did, but you also had to meet someone. You were still close with old friends like Satoru Gojo. He was Geto’s most trusted friend and best companion. You both kept in touch after Geto left, and he wanted to see how you were doing. But deep down, you knew he was going to tell you something important. And so, here you are talking with him at the highest point of the park.

“How was life outside?” Gojo asks

“It was nice i guess? I mean it did change me. I needed to go somewhere else i couldn’t bear to stay here. But thanks to that, i learned more about occult energy and trained really hard. Sleep, training, work, it became my new routine. I was staying at my father’s family home so i could work and pay the rent for my apartment here because i knew i would eventually come back i can’t just simply run away.” you let out a fainted smile

He looks at you, “But something was missing” he tells.

You looked back at him, he could read you like an open book, there was no need to lie to him and to yourself — “You know who was missing Gojo and i think you miss him too.”

He didn't answer, but deep down you knew he was as affected as you were. You handed him a cookie — which he took gently, letting out a tiny smile.

A brief not-so-awkward silence moment falls between you two. The winter wind gently blows through your hair.

“I still don’t understand why he left so suddenly, i knew he was going through something, that his mind began to change, i was there when he talked about it, when he felt so tired of consuming this energy, the taste of curse and anger was unbearable. I tried to comfort him, to be the person he could lean on, i thought everything was going well between us but he still left everyone behind including you and me.” — You paused. Gojo was silent, he knew you had to get this off your chest. You carry on — “I can’t blame him, I didn’t know exactly how he felt and he couldn’t be stopped either, he had already made up his mind and the mass killing attack was one of the most shocking news i could have heard. Love is so complicated, he became who he is and i still can’t forget his face, how close we were, the sweet moments between us, the pinky promises we’ve made. You know, he leaved me in front of the ice rink…” You take a deep breath a sad smile covering your face — “His face looked hurt and we were both crying, i’d like to think he did it because he knew i wasn’t following him into this path that maybe he wouldn’t want me to change. He was genuine that’s all i know.”

Gojo looked at you, he had to tell you in the classy “gojo way” style what happened when you were away, he had to prepare you for the news he was about to tell.

“You know I’m a teacher right?” He says. You nodded. He talked briefly about him being a teacher and having special students in his class when you had i'm on the phone before. You wondered what he was going to tell you but you sensed something was not right.

“As i've told you before, i’m teaching all i can know to my students. One of them possesses something…well, he is cursed by theory by a powerful spirit. Geto came back for this sole reason when he heard about it and tried to persuade him to join his new world. I think he he's searching for something else and i guess it's linked to my student’s cursed spirit. Little guy refused and didn't understand what Geto desired. He then threatened to unleash a huge amount of curses on several locations at the sundown of December 24th.”

You were utterly speechless as you gazed intently at Gojo, astonished by the news. Geto was still alive, which reassured you, but hearing your friend confirm your doubts was harder. The information finally entered your mind as you realized and told him panicking —

“B-but today’s the 24th??”

"I apologize for not calling you sooner, but we must be ready to face him and when i heard you were coming back, i needed you to be be strong enough. He won't give up, and we both recognize that he is unstoppable".

You hated when Gojo was right. You've been wishing to see your past lover one last time, and that day is approaching faster than you thought.

“Let me go with you.” You answered

He hesitated a second,he knew you wanted to see him and he couldn't do that right after what he just told you. He then agreed. He takes you to his students and all the school’s exorcists, ready to fight Geto's cursed spirits and his team. The sun was about to set, the rays of light were almost no longer prominent. It was time.

And so the Night Parade, a "war" began. You were with Gojo and the others the whole time while two of his student were somewhere else. After a long battle between Geto's allies and cursed spirits, Gojo realized that something was wrong and that the real battle wasn't here. He called out to you —

“If I'm not back in 20 minutes, come and join me at Tokyo Jujutsu High!” You nodded back in the middle of a fight. You were fighting as best as you can with your pole arm.

It has already been 20 minutes which meant you could finally join him in the battle. You run and jump throught the streets as fast as you can until you land in a silent alley. Blood stains were visible on the ground. A dangerous and difficult fight came to an end here. You arrived too late. You see Gojo far away and someone laying down on a wall, a severed arm laying next to the bleeding body. Not only that, but you knew who he was. Your body responded right away. You began to run until you were finally facing the man you loved.

Geto groans in pain and turns his head until he faces you and freezes of surprise. He couldn’t believe you were here, all changed, and more beautiful than ever. He thought you hated him when he broke up with you in front of your most meaningful place. He thought he did great by letting you go. Hurting you was the easiest way for him as he wanted to spare you from his new worldview.

You kneeled down, completely lost. You couldn’t believe that the cause of your rage, your suffering and also your love was on the verge of death.

“Not the best state and place to meet again don’t you think?” Geto tells with a fainted smile

You couldn’t hold the chuckle that left from your mouth. It seemed like anger and sorrows vanished instantly.

“I see that i still have my sense of humor.” he pauses “How are you?”

“I don’t know…you tell me. It’s kinda hard to meet someone you love in this situation you know?”

“I thought you hated me”

“I did…for some time, i think i wanted to hate you but i simply couldn’t.” — you continued, “You know, i still wished for a chance to meet you once again. I'm glad I got to see your face one last time, even though it wasn't under ideal circumstances..”

“My moral compass is broken. That would have been too selfish for me to keep you while i knew i would have hurt you one day, when i knew you disagreed with my thoughts.” — he tells you while his hand gently caresses your cheek. You hold onto his numb hand covered in blood. You were trying not to cry but you couldn’t stop the menacing tears that were already falling all over your face.

“I’m glad the stars gave me the opportunity to see you once again, y/n.”

“You were in pain, dealing with your own self and goals, and i really hope you’ll get to find what you wanted the most.” you cried

“I think i did” he smiled fondly at your figure

It was the same lovely smile you cherished dearly. The two of you sobbed. You both missed each other's presence. He tries to hug you but he’s in so much pain that it’s impossible for him to move. You lower down and hug him tightly, your face placed in the crook of his neck. His remaining arm brings you a tad closer to his bloody chest and the crimson puddle surrounding you, but you couldn’t care less. His hand strokes your hair and when your eyes meet he gently kisses you for the last time. It was a deep gesture that shared an infinite number of words and love.

Geto was becoming more and more unconscious, the blood never ceasing to emanate from his body. He knew he had to go, and you knew he had made up his mind. And so, he kissed your forehead and whispered “i love you” which you replied between two sobs “i love you too”.

This was Geto's final statement. His chest stopped moving, he was finally resting on your arms.

Gojo came from behind, his students were next to him. He saw the scene. He had to fight his best friend and that was a lot to take in for him too. You turn your head over him and nod to let him know Geto was no longer part of this world. He immediately understood your gesture and tried to smile back empathizing with you.

Coming back yesterday was the best decision you’ve made. You finally got your closure and a chance to move on. The stars listened to your request, you both were finally reunited one last time, united by destiny that day.

hope you had fun reading! (^_-) line divider Dodger blue by benkeibear

sunelia.

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tickles-in-ficland · 1 year

Text

@alexiskk asketh and you shall receiveith

Care About Me

Summary: After a scare, Ellie realizes Joel does care about her, no matter how much he tries to deny it.

Pairing: Ler!Joel Lee!Ellie

Word Count: 1,613

Warnings: curse words, otherwise all fluff

It had been a long day. Joel and Ellie had been walking for what seemed like forever.

“Joel can we please park it somewhere for the rest of the day?” Ellie whined.

“No.” Joel said firmly as he glanced back at Ellie dragging her feet. “We need to keep moving. You want to deal with more Clickers? Cause I sure as fuck don’t.”

Ellie grumbled as they continued their journey. As night began to fall they were passing a long abandoned neighborhood. It reminded Joel of his friends Bill and Frank, and for a moment, he let himself be sad. He quickly shook off the feeling and kept walking.

“Joel!” Ellie whined again. “Joooooel!”

“Ellie!” Joel scolded. “SHUT UP. You want every infected to hear you? Now come on.”

Ellie looked around. “It’s getting dark anyway, and we’re gonna have to stop somewhere. Wouldn’t you rather sleep in a bed rather than the cold ground?”

Joe huffed. She had a point. They’d have to be stopping soon anyway. He turned to look at the young girl whom he was tasked to keep safe and sighed.

“Fine. But stay behind me until we know it’s safe. Got it?”

Ellie grinned, proud that she finally wore him down. “You got it boss.” she said with a mock salute.

Joel shook his head. “Brat.” he said trying to hide his smile.

With his weapon raised and Ellie trailing behind him, the two approached a house. It was worn down and obviously hadn’t been lived in for decades. Joel kicked down the door before raising his weapon once more. After a thorough search of the house and surrounding area, it was deemed safe and the two sighed in relief.

“Go search for some food. There may be non perishables somewhere.” Joel instructed.

Nodding and disappearing into the kitchen, Ellie came back with a few cans of food.

The meal between them was silent. Once done, Joel plopped himself on the couch and shut his eyes for a moment. This trip was exhausting and dragging a teenager along wasn’t easy.

Ellie announced she was going to go exploring through the rest of the house so Joel shut his eyes for a moment. When he heard a shrill scream come from down the hall, his eyes immediately widened as he grabbed his weapon and flew down the hallway slamming the bathroom door open with his foot.

“ELLIE!” he shouted frantically. “ELLIE!”

Turning his body slightly he saw

Ellie standing in the corner pointing to the ground. A bug. It was a bug.

Joel looked from the bug, to Ellie, back to the bug, and then to Ellie again. He thought this young girl was fearless. Of all the things they’d faced she was scared of a BUG. Joel forgot that underneath that hard exterior and the walls she had built, she was still a kid.

“God DAMNIT Ellie. You can’t scream like that. I thought an infected had gotten in here. It’s a fucking bug. It won’t hurt you.”

Joel said before picking up the creature and tossing it out of the open window.

“I-I’m sorry. It just came out of nowhere and sta-startled me. Sorry I scared you.”

“Whatever. Let’s just settle in for the night.” Joel said setting his weapon back down at his side as he lead the young girl back down the hallway. The house they were in had a few bedrooms but most of the furniture had been ravaged by nature. One bedroom for whatever reason, seemed to be relatively untouched. Two twin beds sat on one side of the wall, with kids toys strewn over the floor. A twang of heartache hit them both, realizing this belonged to a family. A family that was no longer here.

“Get some sleep kid. We have a long day tomorrow.” Joel instructed.

Wordlessly, Ellie nodded before climbing into one of the beds and curled up in the blankets. Laying there for awhile, unable to sleep she turned to Joel who, while had his eyes closed wasn’t fully asleep.

“Joel?” Ellie whispered in the dark, only their small travel lamp illuminating between them.

“Mm?” Joel mumbled.

Ellie bit back a smile. “You know how earlier you came running in when I screamed?”

With an eyebrow raise Joel turned to Ellie, opening his eyes to see the teenager smirking at him.

“And?” he asked.

“Aaaaand.” she said sitting up, now wearing a shit eating grin. “I think you care about me.”

Joel scoffed a laugh. “What?”

“You heard me. You care about me. Or else you wouldn’t have come running in worried.”

Joel shook his head in disagreement. “You’re cargo, kid. If I don’t get you to our destination, I don’t get what I need. Nothing more.”

Truth was, he was becoming attached to this little girl. She was a giant pain in his ass and drove him crazy but something in him felt a need to protect her, to love her in a way he hadn’t since…. well, since Sarah. He never thought he could open his heart again after losing his daughter but this little miscreant of a kid was worming his way into his heart. Damnit.

“Sure kid. Whatever helps you sleep. Now please…. SLEEP.” he grumbled rolling back over.

Hearing the creaking of the wood floor as Ellie climbed out of bed, Joel felt the bed dip at his feet where Ellie had sat.

“Admit it Joel.” she said with a stifled giggle.

“No.” Joel said firmly. “Now leave me alone.”

Ellie sighed, about to admit defeat when she noticed Joel’s foot peeking out from under the blanket. Rising from the bed, she ran her nail along the bottom of his foot. With a jolt, Joel quickly shoved his foot back under the blanket.

“No way.” Ellie laughed. “No fucking WAY! You’re ticklish aren’t you?”

“Ellie.” Joel said in a warning tone. “Do. not.”

“Oh but I gotta.” she said with an evil chuckle as she slid her hand under the blanket and racked her nails once again on Joel’s foot.

Barking out a laugh, Joel quickly jumped out of bed before tackling the teenager to the bed and pinning her arms down.

Taken by surprise, Ellie looked at him nervously. “What the hell man!” she yelled trying to squirm out of Joel’s grip, but he was much stronger than her.

“Joel let me GO!” she huffed in annoyance.

Joel chuckled. “Oh, now that the tables have turned, you suddenly don’t wanna play this game anymore?” he asked a mischievous smirk starting to tug on his lips.

“I wonder if miss tough teenager is ticklish.” Joel smirked as he began to wiggle his fingers towards her.

Ellie’s eyes widened as she squirmed harder. “Noho!” she said a giggle slipping out. “Ihim nohot!”

“Well how will we know if we don’t try it?” he asked rhetorically.

Before Ellie could open her mouth to protest, Joel had began to dig his fingers into the young girls sides, spidering up and down expertly as a dad would.

“JOHOHOEL!” Ellie squealed throwing her head back in a hard belly laugh. She’d never really been tickled before. Life in the QZ wasn’t exactly a magical childhood and so she missed out on a lot. Being born post pandemic, she never got a normal childhood.

Joel’s hands slid up her side as he began to dig into each rib methodically. Ellie’s melodic laughter ringing through the empty house.

“NAHAHAHA!” her back arched, a weak attempt to escape the ticklish agony.

Truthfully she wasn’t hating this. Even if neither would admit, Joel had become like a father figure to her. It was a relationship she was severely lacking. Slowly but surely she was breaking down his walls, as was he with her. And if that meant getting tickled to tears, and forgetting about the shit world they lived in for a few minutes, then so be it.

“Aw. Big tough teenager is ticklish. How sweet.” Joe chuckled as his fingers danced over her.

“FUHUHUCK YOUHUHU!” Ellie cackled, her feet drumming on the bed as tears began pouring down her face.

“Hohow many ribs dohoes Ellie have?” Joel teased, not letting up on his torture also secretly loving this moment where Ellie could just be a kid.

“AHALL OF THEHEM AHAHAHASSHOHOLE!”

“Hey. No need for name calling.” he chastised playfully. “Now hush while I count.”

Ellie squeezed her eyes shut shaking her head back and forth. “NOHOHOHO!” she shrieked in laughter hitting Joel’s shoulder.

“Ohohone. Twhoho.” Joel chuckled as Ellie threw her head back in a hard belly laugh.

“OHOHOKAHAY!” Ellie squealed. “IHIHI GIHIHIHIVE!”

His fingers relenting for a moment but still hovering over the teenager, Joel looked down at Ellie who was panting trying to catch her breath, a few residual giggles escaping.

Joe chuckled as he released the young girl whom he’d grown quite fond of.

“That’ll teach you. Punk.” he smiled ruffling her hair as she sat up giving him a dirty look but a smile threatened her whole facade.

“Asshole.” Ellie mumbled as she gave Joel a gentle shove. “I um- I guess we both needed that laugh.” Ellie sighed playing with her fingers as she looked down at the ground. “Thanks I guess.”

Ellie’s wall had gone back up around her which saddened Joel. But he understood why. It was a harsh and cruel world they were living in but someone her age shouldn’t have to deal with it.

“Anytime kid.” he said giving her a gentle, playful shove back. “Now go to sleep for real. We have a long trip ahead of us.”

Ellie smirked as she got back into her own bed, plotting her revenge.

#tlou tickle #ler!joel #lee!ellie #the last of us tickle #tickle fic #tickle fluff

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thatsthewrongwallcraig · 1 year

Note

I’m not pretty sure how I will get depressive reader into smutty or dark but imagine Eddie praising depressive reader when they clean her apartment

She is slow, walking in circles but Eddie praises her regardless. He’s already done with the bathroom and kitchen but he’s praising her when she picks up another cup that isn’t supposed to be in her bedroom.

They eventually get the whole apartment clean by night and Eddie reward his girlfriend by a bubble bath

This is cute! Thank you for this wonderful ask, anon! 🌸💕

Content Warning: hurt with comfort, Eddie fluff, depressed!reader

The early spring sun already hung low in the sky as you let your eyes roam around your utterly messy bedroom.

Although you and your boyfriend came rather far with decluttering your depression-ridden flat, the sight in front of you wasn't exactly raising the spirits. Your entire nightstand was cramped with more or less empty coffee mugs, chocolate wrappers scattered in between. The bed messy from sleepless tossing and turning.

"Well, here we go.." You sighed under your breath, trying your best to remind yourself that this room posed the last lap to finish this race against yourself, against your last depressive episode that, without a doubt, hit hard.

With slow steps, you walked towards the edge of your bed. The crumpled sheets in front of your body emitting an unwelcoming, almost distressing atmosphere. While you were eyeing your twisted duvets, you remembered just how damn painful it was to simply get out of bed today. With each morning passing it gradually grew into more of a struggle over the past weeks and if it hadn't been for Ed's you were certain that you wouldn't have left it at all today.

With a stern knock on your door he not exactly forced you but lovingly pushed you to eventually get up. To wipe your tangled, admittedly greasy hair out of your sleep deprived, bloodshot eyes and stand up on your feet.

The feeling of the frizzy, grey carpet floor underneath your toes was almost overstimulating to your sore senses. Yet the two of you worked up to a squeaky clean bathroom and a tidy kitchen. Well, to be fair most of that had been Eddie, who rushed relentlessly between dirty dishes and the bin.

The two of you had been together for a while now and it certainly wasn't the first episode of yours he witnessed. Nonetheless, you felt guilty for having him help with your problems again. To you it felt like this shouldn't be his burden to carry, quite literally not his mess to clean up.

And yet you couldn't stand a chance to simply let him help.

Inhaling another deep breath, you grabbed the duvet, pulled the corners towards you and folded it , pressing the edge down nice and neatly. Next up the the pillows. Those two sad piles were in desperate need of a good shake.

After a faint rush of excitement over having your bed made for the first time in a good while, that gnarly voice from the far back of your head doubled down on you. Nagging you how none of that meant anything because it would be just another mess to sort out tomorrow again.

You felt it weighing you down physically and you couldn't help yourself but to sink down, losing your composure as you faced the still chaotic nightstand of yours. So many cups that would require more than one trip to the sink that Ed's had cleaned so eagerly hours ago.

"No, No, NO!" You tried to push the voice back to where it came from, reaching out to grab the first cup.

Your fingers enclosed it tightly and you quickly pulled it close to you as if it was about the slip from your grip if you didn't pay attention enough.

"I'm really proud of you, pumpkin."

Your eyes darted to your open bedroom door. You didn't even notice Eddie approaching you and even less him apparently watching you for a moment.

"Huh?" That's all that left your lips as you looked right at him, rather dumbfounded.

"I'm serious. You doing so good right now." He reciprocated.

'Good' wasn't exactly the word you would've described it with but you still felt a certain flush of warmth flood your chest.

"T-thank you." It rolled off your tongue as your other hand cupped the next cup.

"You know what? How about I pour you a nice, warm bath after we're done here? Do you feel like having one?" A wide grin adored Eddie's lips as he pitched the idea to you.

"Uh uhm...", Your tired thoughts tried to catch up with holding two cups and processing the idea of taking a bath later, "That..yeah, that would be really nice."

"Perfect!", He exclaimed, nodding towards the cups in your hands, "While you get those into the sink, I'll take care of the rest."

#eddie munson imagine #eddie munson × reader #eddie x reader #eddie munson #eddie stranger things #eddie fluff #eddie munson fluff #asks are always open #asks are appreciated #stranger things #pigeon recieved

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mirisss · 6 months

Text

My Heart

Yoon Jongwoo x afab! reader

Wordcount ≈ 2.7k

Warnings: angst, sad Jongwoo, break up, self-judgment, low self-esteem, kissing, sort of describing a panic attack without calling it a panic attack, fluff,

Thank you for the request (even if my requests technically are closed at the moment), I just couldn't keep myself from writing this because I am way too in love with Jongwoo & One Pact!

Inspired by One Pact’s songs "Rush In 2 U" & "Loading"

Please reblog!

(Y/n)’s POV

Jongwoo is the greatest boyfriend in the world, truly, he’s the best. He’s kind, caring, funny, thoughtful, he’s everything you could want not to mention he is very handsome. I was surprised when he asked me out 2 and a half years ago but I am so happy I said yes to the date. 2 years later and we’re still together. I was there to support him through Boys Planet and to comfort him when he didn’t make it to the final lineup. I was so proud of him, still am. And now, he’s going to debut with One Pact. He’s finally going to be able to live his dream, with thousands no millions of people supporting him.

Lately, I’ve been feeling like a burden to him. I feel like as long as he is with me, he can’t truly succeed, I’m holding him back. At least, that’s what I am feeling. I tried talking to him about it but as the kind soul he is, he told me that isn’t true. He says I don’t hold him back, but I can’t believe him because I see it. He’s spreading himself thin trying to balance our relationship with his idol life, it’s not fair to him for me to be selfish and stay by his side when I’m only in the way.

I contemplated what to do for weeks, I distanced myself more and more from him hoping it would help him see it too. That I am only a nuisance to him. He called and texted me probably a hundred times a day trying to reach out to me, but eventually, as I didn’t answer him, he stopped. Just thinking about it made a tear fall from my eyes.

I wanted to run to him, to hug him, hold him close, and finally feel safe once more in his strong arms. But I can’t, I have to be strong. This is what’s best for him. I sat alone in my apartment in the dark, on the cold hard floor, crying my eyes out as I tried to find the courage to break us up.

Jongwoo’s POV

Boys Planet was a challenge, but with (Y/n) by my side, it wasn’t as bad. With her I can overcome any challenge, she gives me strength, she makes me happy. She’s the sun that scares away the darkness, with her, every day feels like Christmas. I remember how happy she was for me when I told her that I would be debuting with One Pact. I think she was even happier than me and I mean, I’m the one debuting.

We celebrated by making a nice dinner together, laughing as we danced to the background music, her blushing as I whispered ‘I love you’ in her ear, and then kissed her. Those moments when it’s just her and I, are my most precious memories.

Lately, however, things haven’t been so good.

“What do you mean? Baby? (Y/n)?” “Jongwoo, I’m just holding you back, can’t you see it? I’m just in the way of your success,” I put my hands on her shoulders trying to look her in the eyes but she kept looking at the floor. I didn’t understand, why did she suddenly think she was holding me back? “(Y/n), how, I-... I don’t understand, how could you be holding me back? You’re not, please, (Y/n), please, I love you, you know that right?” Even as she looked at the floor, I could see the tears falling down her cheeks. She never wanted me to see her crying, not even happy tears, she would always look down or turn around. “I know and I love you too,” I embraced her in a tight hug, holding her as close as possible as I held back my tears. Losing her would be worse than not becoming an idol.

After that conversation I thought things would get better, however, I was wrong. Each day, (Y/n) became a little more distant than the day before. Eventually, she stopped reaching out to me, I tried to call and text her as often as I could but she rarely ever responded until she stopped completely.

“Damnit” I threw the sweatshirt I had around my shoulders down on the floor in anger as I messed up the choreography once more. I couldn’t focus, my mind was just zeroing in on the situation with (Y/n). I was breathing heavily, angry at the situation, and angry at myself to the point where I couldn’t control my feelings. “Hyung, what’s wrong?” “Yeah, what’s up man? I’ve never seen you like this before?” Seungmin and Jay approached me as they questioned my behavior. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down a little as I sat down with the rest of the guys sitting down in a circle before me.

“I told you guys before that I have a girlfriend, right?” “Yeah, (Y/n), was it?” Yedam smiled as I nodded to him getting the name right. “She’s been my girlfriend for about 2 years now and we’ve never really had any problems during this time. She’s always supporting me in anything I do and she’s been my driving force in doing all of this. These last few weeks though, they have been different. Very different,” I looked down at the floor, trying to hold back my tears, I hated this.

“What’s been different?” Tag asked after he put his hand on my shoulder, giving me a reassuring squeeze. “She has somehow come to the conclusion that she’s holding me back and that we should break up, and no matter what I say she doesn’t seem to believe me. And now, she’s not answering my calls or responding to my texts. I’m worried, I’ve never seen her like this before and I don’t want to lose her,”

“I might not know her personally but it doesn’t sound like the girl you’ve described to us before. I think the best thing you can do is, go to her and talk with her. Ask her why she’s feeling this way, only then can you understand where it’s coming from and once you know that, then you can assure her that it isn’t true,” Jay put his hand on my other shoulder and gave me a reassuring squeeze. “Thanks, Jay, I’ll go after practice,” “Nah, go now hyung,” “But I can’t, we have to practice, Seungmin,” “You’re not going to be able to focus, it’s better that you go now and solve this and then tomorrow you can come back stronger than ever,” I looked around at my members and they all smiled at me, they gave me the strength and courage I needed to go to (Y/n).

I picked up my sweatshirt, quickly putting it on as I ran out of the dance studio. I was determined to solve this. To fix this problem. As soon as I got to (Y/n)’s apartment, I picked up the key she had given me so that I could visit her any time I wanted to. I was going to use it but I decided to knock on the door first, to give her a chance of inviting me instead of just barging in. I knocked three times before I took a step back from the door and waited. I heard the lock turning before the door opened. She was surprised to see me standing on the other side, my breathing heavy from running here, her eyes were red and swollen, she had been crying.

“Jongwoo,” Her voice was hoarse, also an indicator of her crying before I came. “(Y/n), can we talk? Please,” She avoided my eyes, just like the last time we spoke, but she stepped aside to allow me inside the apartment. Without even thinking, I guess you could say I did it out of habit, as I walked past (Y/n) my arm instinctively went around her waist. She closed the door behind me before she stepped out of my reach, my arm stayed in the air for a second before I managed to will it back to my side, my heart breaking a little at the distance. She was so close yet she felt so far away.

“(Y/n), I love you. I wanna say that before we talk about anything else. I love you. I have been in love with you for the last 2 and a half years, hence why I asked you out. I love you, so please, please, explain why you’re so distant, please help me understand what’s going on,” I once again tried to reach out with my hand to her but she stepped back, not letting me touch her. My fingers twitched as I clenched my fist, and my jaw to try and hold back the tears that threatened to fall from my eyes.

“I told you, Woo. I’m only holding you back. As long as you’re with me you can’t succeed. I take too much of your time. We should break up so that you can live your dream, it’s what’s best for you,” This was the first time I truly got to see her cry. She looked me in the eyes as the tears streamed down her cheeks like rivers. Her whole body was trembling, shaking. Her once warm eyes that always shone like diamonds, now looked dark, empty, they looked dead.

“No.” “No? Jongwoo, you can’t just say no. We need to break up,” She raised her voice a little but I didn’t care. “No, we’re not breaking up for this reason. I won’t accept it. It’s stupid. (Y/n). I love you. I wouldn’t have been able to get through Boys Planet without you. I wanted to quit after the first day but you were there to help me get back on this path. It’s thanks to you that I am now in the debut lineup of One Pact. You’re the one to give me strength, you’re the reason I’m happy. You’re the reason why I work so hard because I want to impress you. So you’re not holding me back at all. No, you’re the one pushing me to become the best me I can be,” I couldn’t hold my tears back anymore.

“Jongwoo… I-” “The only time I’ll accept it if you don’t want to be with me anymore is if you don’t love me anymore. If you’ve fallen out of love with me, then I’ll accept it. But as long as I love you and you love me, we should be together. I won’t ever give up on you, because (Y/n), you’re my sun. You’re my reason to live. That’s how much you mean to me, so please, just give us a second chance, if you still love me?” (Y/n) let out a loud sniffle as even more tears fell from her eyes. I looked deep into her eyes, trying to will out any emotion in them. Hoping that there was hope left for us.

“Jongwoo, I’m so sorry,” My heart shattered into a million, no, into a billion pieces. I stopped breathing. She didn’t love me anymore. My knees became weak and I fell, kneeling in front of her, my eyes on the ground. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t see. My whole world was becoming enveloped in a dark mist, covering everything in a blanket of despair. “Jongwoo!” I could barely hear anything, I faintly heard (Y/n) screaming my name.

Third Person POV

(Y/n) fell down onto the floor in front of Jongwoo, she cried out his name multiple times but he didn’t respond. “Jongwoo, Jongwoo, please, please, Jongwoo,” It wasn’t until she embraced him in a tight hug. “I love you. I love you. Of course, I still love you, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, please, Jongwoo, Woo. Please, I’m sorry,” (Y/n) soon felt Jongwoo’s arms encircling her, pushing her closer to his broad frame in a tight hug. The two stayed on the floor, tightly embracing each other for a few minutes as they cried.

Jongwoo’s POV

“I love you. I love you. Of course, I still love you, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, please, Jongwoo, Woo. Please, I’m sorry,” As I felt (Y/n) hugging me and saying that she still loved me, I could finally breathe again, my eyes slowly came back into focus allowing me to see her shaking shoulders as she held me, chanting ‘I love you’ and ‘I’m sorry’. I tightly hugged her back. Happy to finally be allowed to hold her close again. I didn’t ever want to let go of her. I almost lost her, I didn’t ever want to truly lose her.

After probably ten or fifteen minutes, I slowly ended the hug by removing my arms from her waist and putting them on her shoulders. I looked her in the eyes. “(Y/n), do you still love me?” “Yes, I love you,” “Do you still want to be with me?” “Of course I do, but-” “No buts. Do you want to be with me?” “Yes, of course I do,” “Then let’s be together. I love you, (Y/n). More than anything in this world,” “I’m sorry, about all of this.” “I forgive you. Always. If you ever feel something like this again, talk with me, tell me, please,” “I promise, I won’t shut you out again,” “Good. Now, may I kiss you?” (Y/n) gave me a little smirk before she tilted her head just the tiniest bit. “Oh, I don’t know, can you?” I gently put a hand on her cheek, my thumb wiped away the stray tears that still lingered. And then I leaned in. I kissed her gently, trying to convey just how much I loved her with the action.

“God I missed kissing you,” “I missed you too, now kiss me again, please,” I kissed her once more, this time with a little more force as she pushed back at my lips with her own. “Please don’t ever leave me,” “Only if you promise not to leave me,” I stood up and helped (Y/n) stand too. I took one of her hands and put it on my chest, right by my heart, and looked her deep in the eyes. “As long as my heart is beating, as long as I am alive. I promise you, that I will love you and be by your side, I promise to never leave you,” I saw (Y/n)’s cheeks reddening as a shy smile grew on her face. She always told me that she dreamt of experiencing the things she read about, the way the boys in the books treated the girls with the utmost love and adoration. So, I tried to do just that.

“Yoon Jongwoo, I’m already head over heels in love with you,” “It wouldn’t hurt to make you swoon a little, right?” “You make me swoon more than just a little, I might just pass out from how fast my heart is beating,” “I’ll keep you steady with my strong arms,” I flexed my biceps a little as I chuckled, and (Y/n) laughed. And just like that, we were back to how we were before all this happened. It almost felt like the last two to three weeks hadn’t happened. “Jongwoo, you really are perfect,” “And so are you, my beautiful, wonderful, perfect, (Y/n),” I leaned in and gave her another kiss as she put her arms around my neck to deepen the kiss. As we broke the kiss, we both smiled and simultaneously said: “I love you”.

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harry-styles-obsessed · 1 year

Text

You are enough.

Request: hey, I was wondering whether you could do something along the lines of mental health? I’ve been struggling recently and your stories brought me out of the darkness in some way or another so if possible? Thank you!

A/N: hey anonymous, thank you so much for the request. I understand how difficult mental health is. I’m so glad my stories have been able to do that. I’m sending you all the love and I hope this is okay. Remember you’re not alone. My DM’s are always open. Much love, Amber x

TRIGGER WARNINGS: mentions of self harm, suicidal thoughts, pretty dark topics, panic attack, self hate, depression&anxiety- please read at your own discretion.

Mental health was a beast no one could tame. Depression, anxiety and so many more… it was almost torturous. As if the demons within your head created a pact together and decided it would be fun to torment you. It was never ending and to be quite frank it was exhausting. You sometimes felt as if no one understood you. It was so tiring. It felt as if the soothing words that were repeated over and over again became less soothing every time. As if the demons within you were becoming more tolerant to the words, to the comfort, as if they were slowly beginning to drown you. Harry, your boyfriend of 3 years even paid for you to get therapy… out of his own love and own money which you felt terrible for but he assured you it was for the best. The therapy was going well for a while but then it started becoming repetitive… you struggled talking and when you couldn’t talk and felt the pain wrap it’s cold loathsome hands around your throat constricting your breathing you simply couldn’t and wouldn’t talk.

That day was going awfully- first you encountered an ex friend whom you were not on good terms with, next you were caught in a flood of rain absolutely drenched and the cherry on the top was the fact when you walked inside your apartment it was empty. Cold. Sad. No one to wrap their arms around you. No Harry. No nobody. Just you and your confused uncontrollable emotions. You felt like such a waste of a human being.. no… you were a waste of a human being. You were meant to go to your weekly therapy session but you were exhausted, harry was out recording songs for his new album and you were just here wasting your life away. It felt as if everyone was accomplishing something… all except you. You dropped your bag onto the floor slowly moving towards your bedroom, the door hitting against the wall as you sniffled. You tried desperately to not cry. To not be weak but you couldn’t control the anger and resentment you felt… and not because of anyone… no… simply because of yourself. You hated yourself and didn’t know how to control the feelings flooding your blood stream. Your body sank into the bed, wet clothes still clinging to your skin as you curled up in a ball closing your eyes tightly as soft sobs began leaving your lips until the crying turned into little whimpers those whimpers turning silent too as you managed to somehow cry yourself to sleep. Everything was going so well… so damn well… and you just had to go ahead and ruin it. Harry would tell you it wasn’t your fault and you were being too harsh on yourself but he wasn’t there to soothe you… you couldn’t bear to even think good things about yourself. You were broken.

Harry had spent most of his day recording, he wanted to release new good songs and he knew the fans craved new songs. The recording went really well everything was coming together and he was quite proud of it however he had a horrible gut feeling that he simply could not shake. He knew what you went through and you were always his top priority no matter what, of course concerts mattered and performing for his fans was also his priority but you would always come first. If you needed him he would be right there to support you. He knew you quite well he knew how the simplicity of a hateful comment on social media could send you spiralling and so that’s why he made sure you got rid of social media, he didn’t want to be possessive or controlling but he didn’t want to see you go through the brainwashing factor of all the hateful comments, the comments that stripped you of your self love… you hated yourself and Harry had to do a whole lot to make you love yourself again and he wasn’t gonna let some child mess up your mental health. Most of the comments came from jealous 11 year olds who had no clue what the hell they were doing, it was harmful. Harry remembered the time when hate comments got the best of him too… but he built a tough skin, a wall around himself that protected him from any hate.. he knew how to cope with it but you… you just needed a tad bit more of TLC and he was more than willing to be that person to remind you that you are enough.

“Babe I’m home!” He called his voice echoing off the walls as he quietly shut the front door his ring adorned fingers lightly twisting the lock on the door to make sure they wouldn’t get any visitors. Stalkers most definitely weren’t a shock to Harry. “Baby?” He called once again his concern growing more as he slowly walked into your room his frame pausing as he saw you, your frail body laying weakly on the bed. He let out a soft sigh just glad you were okay before he took slow steps towards where you lay. He slowly sat down beside you on the edge of the bed his hand gently resting upon your shoulder his hand rubbing up and down your back slowly and gently his fingertips slowly drawing patterns “y/n?” He whispered out as he slowly laid down beside you his arm wrapping around your waist as he pulled you close, and once he saw the way your eyelids fluttered every so slightly he let out a sigh as he gently caressed his hand over your face brushing some hair off of your forehead so he could look clearly into your tired puffy eyes, he knew you should be at your therapy session now but he didn’t bring that up… he knew not to. He knew you were having a mental crisis but that was okay. “What happened?” He asked simply and quietly “I-it doesn’t matter…” your voice was tired and weak his expression turning more stern as he gave you a disapproving but soft look “don’t say that. Of course it matters.” He murmured softly his lips gently pressing against your forehead as he pulled you closer to his body. “You matter, y/n… I don’t want you hiding your emotions from me. You matter, so therefore your feelings matter. C’mon. Talk.” He urged gently he knew when you got like this it took a while to coax it out of you but he had become petty expert at understanding you and understanding what helped knock you out of it. “I don’t wanna.” You whispered into his ear and he nodded, his fingertips gently soothing against your skin “okay. We don’t have to. But I’m gonna stay with you until you want to talk alright?” He said and for the first time you nodded slightly proving you wanted that and that you didn’t want to be alone.

His grip on you loosened ever so slightly as he sat up again scooting backwards so he was propped up on a couple of pillows his back resting against the headboard “c’mon sweetheart, cuddle time.” He murmured giving you a small smile his arms opening wide for you a soft little breath leaving your lips as you lugged your tired body up clambering on top of him, legs straddling either side of him before you leaned into his chest, his arms wrapping around your shoulders tightly and securely making sure you felt safe and sound as you practically melted into his embrace, eyes fluttering shut. “Want to watch a movie? Series? Marvel? Harry Potter? Stranger things? Back to the future?” He named all things you had both watched together at some point. You shook your head remaining nonverbal but he didn’t mind, he knew you needed him and he was going to be right there for you. Your head which rested upon his chest listened to the way his heart thumped rhythmically against his chest, so calmly, so warmly…. So peacefully. “Cartoons” the word soon left your lips as he gazed down at you a small smile tugging at his beautiful lips “alright.” He said simply, not judging one bit, cartoons were comforting in some aspects especially when you were going through a tough time. He put on your favourite cartoon before dropping the remote back down next to him his arm wrapping around you once again as he let out a soft sigh “I’ve got you… I’m right here… never leaving you.” He spoke softly as he pressed a little kiss to the top of your head.

The cartoon soon became a slight murmur in the background as tears blurred your vision a little sniffle coming from you “I’m sorry, H” you whispered meekly, he didn’t respond- simply wanting you to get whatever was on your mind out. “I-I…” you swallowed harshly unable to say it worried he’d be embarrassed of you, worried he would be disappointed. He knew the sound of your voice all too well, the way your eyes were full of worry “you hurt yourself didn’t you?” He asked and the tears that cascaded down your cheeks were enough of an answer for him a soft sigh leaving his lips as he held you tighter more protectively “oh darling… it’s okay..” he whispered quietly your breathing becoming heavier your heart racing so much so it was starting to hurt “I-I’m so sorry harry… I don’t know why I did it it was stupid… I- i was clean for so many days and now I go ruin it like a fucking idiot! I’m so stupid!” Your voice raised more with anger “hey hey hey… look at me.” Harry demanded his hand gently caressing against your chin as he made you look at him “don’t. Don’t. You’re not stupid. Everyone has little bumps in the road… you’re allowed to stumble and fall every now and then. We all are. I’m not angry at you. I’m not disappointed. I’m not upset with you. Breathe. In for four… hold for four… out for four.” He soothed slowly and gently your breathing soon calming down again as he looked into your eyes a soft assuring smile resting upon his lips “I’m sorry… so sorry.” You said quietly and he shook his head “you’ve got no reason to be sorry…” he assured gently “but-“ he shook his head silencing you by pressing a kiss to your lips “but nothing y/n.”

His words were assuring but calming as he smiled softly at you, he was sad you had hurt yourself but he wasn’t angry. No. Not in the slightest. “Can you show me?” He asked softly but once you shook your head he knew not to push your boundaries “okay sweetheart… you don’t have to… did you cover them though? Not bleeding anymore?” And as you shook your head he let out a soft sigh “y/n, I know things are hard right now, but I need you to be vocal with me.” He urged gently and as you looked into his eyes you remembered just how much you could trust him. “Didn’t use a knife or razor” you whispered quietly “lighter” you said, a soft sad look forming on his face as he nodded “okay.” He pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek “thank you for telling me… I’m proud of you.” He murmured softly. You leaned back into him your lips resting beside his ear “I don’t know why I did it… I just felt empty… sad… it seemed as if the whole world was against me today… just felt hopeless.” You whispered to him and he listened giving you his undivided attention “that’s valid. You’re allowed to feel like that. Your feelings are valid.” He comforted his hand gently sliding up the back of your T-shirt as he allowed his warm hand to caress against your skin “I love you y/n.” He said softly and gently. “Love you too Harry.” You whispered and a small smile tugged at his lips. You deserved the world and he knew that… one day he hoped he would be able to help you see yourself through his eyes.

“Tell me, would you treat somebody the way you treat yourself?” He soon asked and you looked into his eyes a small frown forming on your face “of course not.” You said and he nodded “then why do you treat yourself the way you wouldn’t treat others? Do you not believe you deserve the same amount of love others deserve because that’s not true… maybe take some of the love you have for me and give it to yourself. You need to start loving yourself… seeing yourself the way I see you.” He murmured stroking his fingertips against your cheek gently. “How do you see me?” You asked and he smiled softly “well I see a beautiful woman who doesn’t see her worth… I see a woman who’s badass but doesn’t let that full badass potential come out to play enough… I also see a scared anxious girl who doesn’t know how to express herself properly… but within that is a beautiful girl who deserves nothing but happiness. You deserve it y/n. You’re worth it y/n. You’re enough, Y/n.” He said softly and the more you gazed into his eyes the more emotional you became “tell me…” he said softly “what?” You asked softly and he smiled reassuringly “tell me. Tell me you’re enough.” He said and you looked into his eyes “I’m enough.” You said softly and he smiled “good job… now a little louder.” You repeated it again… over and over…. Until somehow it was imprinted into your mind and he wouldn’t ever stop reminding you of that small but very big factor….

You’re enough.

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tragicromanceisland · 1 year

Text

What Happens in Wonderland, Remains

Character x female reader

Chapter Four

“Uncle Leona!!”

Leona grumbled under his breath; this was – what seemed to be the 27th time – in one day that his nephew sought him out.

“Uncle Leona, wait!!” Cheka called out.

Leona halted abruptly as his kid nephew ran into him.

“What is it this time, kid? I’m busy.” He retorted.

Cheka huffed out as he straightened himself and stood in front of his uncle. He wasn’t near as tall as his uncle yet, but he was gaining some height! Leona narrowed his eyes.

“What’s the matter you’re dad ain’t got time for ya or something?”

“Who is this?” Cheka asked as he showed Leona a picture of you hanging over a smug looking Leona.

Leona’s eyes widened as he placed a gloved hand to his forehead. His heart was racing at a mere image of you. His tail flicked as he grabbed the photo out of Cheka’s hand.

“Where’d ya get this?” He snarled.

Cheka furrowed his brows. “Answer my question first! Then I’ll tell you.”

Leona huffed irritated; he wasn’t in the mood to play games.

“Whatever, it’s none of your business.” He stormed off.

Cheka frowned. He just wanted to know because he had seen his uncle look at that same photo for years. He always seemed so sad when he looked at it. He figured the lady in the picture must have been someone important. He just wanted his uncle to be happy. Little did Cheka know that his father Farena had seen the whole thing.

Farena sighed as his eyes fell to the floor. If there was one thing, he hated more than Leona being so hard on himself it was seeing his brother unhappy without the one person he cared about most by his side. He knew he was lucky; he had his wife and his son. His life was good, though it wasn’t without its struggles. Farena had tried for years now to try and get Leona to date other people at least see if he could find someone he could be compatible with. Yet it always came back to her, and Leona always left, not wanting to waste his energy arguing about the subject.

Leona shouldn’t have visited today; it was the same thing every time. His car was shut off in the garage of his house. He stared at the photo his nephew found. His thumb brushed over your image. He bumped his head back against the headrest of his seat and closed his eyes.

Would you be proud of me? Or would you be disappointed in me like my family? I can’t help but wonder about the kind of life we could have if you return and accept my proposal. Or maybe… you’ve moved on. It’s been five years. Not a day has gone by that I haven’t thought of you and wondered how you’re doing.

…(y/n).

I still love you, so when will you return to me? When are you going to show up and apologize for keepin’ me waitin’ for so damn long?

He blinked open his emerald eyes and sighed. He was too tired for anything else today. He needed a nap. He exited his car and walked into the house through the garage. His house was messy, but thankfully, he had Ruggie to help him keep it clean every other day he would come over to check on him. He was annoying, but at least he helped him. Jack occasionally showed up, too. He wondered if they were worried about him. He brushed it off. The only thing that mattered was being able to see you again. He was going to make it happen eventually.

He pulled off his clothes and tossed them on the floor wherever. His bedroom floor is littered with clothing. He walked into his bathroom and filled up the bathtub. Sinking into the comfortably warm water, he exhaled. His mind wandered to one of his favorite memories he had with you.

“Are you sure?”

“If I wasn’t I wouldn’t be standin’ here telling ya it was okay.” He retorted as he began to remove his clothing.

Leona was the first one you told your secret to. He knew you were a woman, and this was the first time you were exposing this to him. He had only found out by the unfortunate timing of your menstrual cycle. You happened to be sitting beside him, and you could see his nose scrunching up. Then he turned over to you and began sniffing close to your side until he immediately withdrew from you. His ears flattened against his head as his tail began to flick. You were mortified. Leona kept his distance for a day after that, and then he confronted you with a smug smile in the hallway, saying he knew you weren’t really a male.

You slowly stripped down, embarrassed. Leona was using all his willpower to not watch as you undressed to your undergarments. He stripped first and emerged into the water. A few seconds later, you joined him in the pool, and Leona faced you.

“Since it’s just the two of us… how about we have some fun?”

The smug look on his face made your cheeks warm. “You mean…?”

“If I kissed you, would you be okay with it?”

It had been a while since you dated someone. Your relationship in high school ended with your boyfriend cheating on you. So you had remained single for a while, and now that you were at Night Raven College, maybe you could have a loyal boyfriend. Leona was only a foot away from you, his heart pounding.

“I’m…okay with it.”

Leona didn’t waste time closing the distance. Ever since he found out, he had been replaying a first kiss with you in his mind at least twenty times or more a day, and now, finally, he had a good opportunity to do so.

“Are you sure?”

He didn’t want to feel like he was pressuring you into it.

You nodded. “I would like to kiss you too.”

He arched a brow. He was pleasantly surprised you felt the same. He reached out water dripping from his hand and arm as he placed his palm on the side of your neck as his eyes fell to your lips. You leaned in closer and closed your eyes. His lips pressed against yours as his eyes closed. When he pulled away just enough to study your reaction. Your eyes fluttered open, and you met his darkened, lustful gaze. You felt a pull as you pressed your lips back against his. Your arms wrapped around his neck as he pushed you up against the side of the pool. His canines poked into your lower lip as your lips continued to touch repeatedly.

Leona snapped out of the memory and lowered his eyes to the water that filled the tub. He was miserable without you. He couldn’t even look at other women the same way. Besides, it’s not like he wanted to look at other women anyway. He sighed his brother, and his wife would only keep nagging at him about finding someone else. He was tired of hearing it. Maybe he would try finding someone else…maybe.

#twisted wonderland #leona kingscholar #leona x female reader #cheka kingscholar #farena kingscholar

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forrestreblogsrandomshit · 6 days

Text

We Feel Too

I’m not like most others are

When sorrow hits the chances are

You’ll find me laughing, even dancing

Smiling, though hope is far

From home, buried in the snow

Of life’s endless tragedies

When you find me giggling, know I’m simply

Preserving my scarce sanity

I’m not like most folks my age,

When the tides turn, I ride the waves

I tread the sea, a soft smile in tow,

As the water splashes against my soul

Crashing down, weighted crown,

Salty sadness trickling

Down my face, I’ve cracked the case

Haunting memories sickening

I’m not like most other people

I dance and sing, my mind lethal

I swish and sway, twirling away

With dying grace so regal

Mind in the clouds, foggy shroud,

Pleated skirt flowing

Wondering how I made it to now

Breezy daydreams my mind is sewing

In this way, I am like all,

Late at night, hot tears fall

Restless sobbing, headache throbbing,

Curled up in a tight little ball

Out of sight, past midnight

Tiring masks kiss the floor

Big fat tears, strangling fears,

Finally shown behind closed doors

Some don’t see that I feel too,

Though not as clear as most folks do

Not as loud, not as proud

Not as obvious as you’re used to

But just as vibrant, if not more

Colors, shapes and textures galore

You’d see that fact if you looked further

Beyond your hate and vile fervor

Though we differ from most points of view

We feel too, just like you

#audhd go brrrrrr #poetry #poems on tumblr #poems and poetry #original poem #actually audhd #adhd #autism #neurodiversity

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how-masterful · 2 years

Text

31 FICS OF FRIGHT

DAY 1- THE LADDER OF LUCK

Dhawan!Master x Reader

Prompt: Superstition

Notes: Welcome to the first chapter of My Halloween mini fic series! This year i’ve decided to challenge myself and write 30 randomly generated mini fics with the five main Masters, ending with a remaster on the 31st. These will be daily slice of life style rather than my usual essays fics with a full story. Think of them as little tricks and treats for the most wonderful time of the year! Hopefully you enjoy!

Warnings: None

“I’m not superstitious, Master. Why should I be?”

The Master sent you a disapproving look from the top of the wheeled ladder you’d just passed under. He leant against the top shelf, one hand on his hip, the other leaning on the tall bookcase in the east corner of the library. He couldn’t believe it- you’d just waltzed straight under him, completely ignoring the most basic, fundamental wives tale there is.

“Because!” he argued, placing his hardback in its gap upon the shelf with a frown.

“You humans always are! With good reason, I should add.”

You rolled your eyes. He always was haplessly dramatic with the smallest things. It was something you usually adored about him. Except for times like this.

“It's just a bunch of, y’know, ‘Hocus Pocus’. Like manifesting destiny, you just start looking for patterns”.

You pulled another book from the shelf and began to flick through the pages. Above your head you heard the smooth glide of the ladder, and looked up to see the Master had pulled himself along the bookcase- both he and the ladder now looming before you. You closed the book, tucking it within the crook of your arm.

“Having fun up there?”

“What on earth are you talking about?”

You scoffed, which soon turned into a small laugh. You leant against the bookcase, sending the Master an exasperated smile.

“You break a mirror; they say it's bad luck. Supposedly. But in reality, you’re just looking for something spooky to place the blame on when things go wrong.”

Turning away from the Master, you continued to walk down the lengthy corridor of books. The sound of the ladder followed, the Master close behind you, his shadow hitting the floor under the warm lights that flanked each shelf.

“Oh no, I lost my job. Must have been the mirror. God damn bloody Mary.”

“Now she was a RIGHT piece of work.”

You stopped in your tracks, turning around to glare up at the Master. You’d only just noticed he’d put on his glasses. He should wear them more often, you thought.

“Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“The historical name dropping. You and the doctor always do it.”

The Master smirked, returning to his casual position of leaning against the top shelf.

“Y’know. I never suspected you to be a sceptic.”

“And why is that?”

“I thought you’d know better.”

You gaped up at the Timelord in offense. The Master braced himself against the edges of the ladder and slid down the golden rungs, before landing on the floor at your side.

“Now what on earth are YOU on about?”

The Masters arm found its way around your middle, moving to guide you towards the end of the row.

“Do you remember the story I told you of my dealings with Azal?”

You gave a small nod. You loved that story. Apart from the Master almost dying. But that was a usual part of his stories.

“Well, that whole thing made me want to dig deeper. Plus, I had a lot of time to myself in prison. So I started researching more into ancient myths, wives tales, that sort of thing. And y’know what I found out?”

“It's all bullshit?”

“It's all science!”

At that, you paused, finally at the end of the row. You send the Master an incredulous expression. He looked awfully proud of himself.

“Azal was an alien, dearest. Most of your earthly supernatural stories come from the likes of me landing on your sad, little old planet and making our mark.”

“But that doesn't explain how my palms being itchy means i'm gonna have good luck.”

“If you stopped interrupting, maybe I could tell you.”

You gave the Master a well meaning scowl as you moved to sit upon the plush sofa, sitting cross legged in view of the roaring fire.

The Master sat opposite, elegantly crossing his ankles as he lounged against the arm.

“Most superstitions come from probability fields, leftover energy. Like how you and I are drenched in artron energy from the time vortex.”

You pondered, tilting your head. “Serious?”

“As the plague, love. When that black cat crosses your path and you trip over a brick, it's because that cat's ancestors were probably the pets of some very unlucky aliens. Friday the 13th? Probably the day a race lost an army. It's a hereditary thing.”

You were so engrossed in the Masters explanation, you hadn't even noticed the steaming mug of hot chocolate that had appeared upon the table, sitting neatly upon a coaster. Piled high with whipped cream, covered in sprinkles and chocolate flakes, with a cluster of marshmallows neatly sat against the rim. The TARDIS liked to surprise you both. You’d yet to thank her fully.

“So yeah, superstitions are very much real.”

“I’m still not convinced, Master”

You eagerly uncrossed your legs, sitting up to grasp hold of the mug. You clutched the steaming vessel and suddenly recoiled from the heat, the mug crashing out of your hands and onto the ground below. The ceramic shattered, sending the hot drink soaking into the carpet, the marshmallows and sprinkles haphazardly sprawled on top of the melting cream in the shape of a wonky frown.

You looked at the Master for support, but couldn't find any. He simply watched in amusement, the timelord casually grasping his own drink, mug held tight in hand.

He took a hearty sip and licked the foam from the corner of his mouth.

“Mmm. Shouldn't have walked under that ladder.”

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thewritersaddictions · 2 years

Text

House Heisenberg: Karl Heisenberg- New Parts

Pairing: Karl Heisenberg x Gender Neutral !Reader

Pov: Lord Karl heisenberg

Warnings: Accident, close to death experiences for the reader, fluff, soft!Karl, use of they/them pronouns.

Summary: After a horrible accident within the factory, Karl can't help but blame himself for his accident. So he does what he knows best and fixes you up.

A/n- firefly-graphics for dividers

WC- 2.9k

Resi 8 Master List // House Heisenberg Master List

This is why I had so many precautions set up. I knew letting Y/n see the factory floor was a huge set forward. Letting them see the factory had been a mistake, well it hadn’t started that way. Y/n stayed close to me per my instructions. The long winding paths that took you all over the factory could be dangerous if you weren’t paying attention.

My soldats were ruthlessly dangerous if you.. well if you weren’t me. So I told Y/n before we started our tour of the factory if they were sure they would like to see it. This is where all the magic happened, and I was frankly very proud of my work. I wanted nothing more than to share with Y/n, but I know they must have heard horrible things about me and my factory projects from my sisters and brother.

“Are you sure you want to go?” I question them. We were standing in front of the large elevator shaft waiting for the elevator door to open. They stood like a warm sun in-front of me “Of course I want to go, if you don’t show me Karl I’ll just go venture away without you.” Y/n said. “Absolutely not.” I said my voice coming out loud. Metal rattling around us. “Hey.. hey now I’m only joking I know how dangerous it is down there. I promise you love I won’t go off being a sneaky little one.” Y/n said. There hand resting softly on my cheek. I l leaned into the touch.

“Okay” I said taking there hand. The first part of the tour went well. Y/n was greatly interested in my new experiments. Eyes growing wider when I would talk then through my recent patches I had made to the Soldats, or even to my mistake Strum. That dumbass had chopped his arms off recently and was rather hard to control.

My proudest moment was when I created what I called my Ponzer. My tank Soldat. A most beautiful thing. A large soldat with drills for arms and layered with many different types of metal. They were most impressed by my ponzer. “And what do you call this one, Karl?” They asked me. Reaching out to touch the armor I had created for it.

I kept a close eye on there hands as it grazed around the heart, a caged heart. A sad expression crossed their face and as soon as it was there it was gone. “Ponzer, a German word for Tank.” I said clearing my throat. I had never realized just how much I enjoyed to be in their company, or how small their hands were compared to… well to everything else.

“You be careful now buttercup, they aren’t all so welcoming to being touched.” I said to them. I had to come up with some sort of nickname and buttercup was the absolute best I could think of. Y/n’s face always grew bright with blush when I called them Buttercup. They hummed, and stepped back a few inches. Just enough so that my arm wrapped protectively around their waist.

As we walked through the rest of the factory it started to set in that Y/n was content with me here, and didn’t seem bothered by the odd metal figures I was creating out of Mother Miranda cadou. Heartless as my brother and sister thought that I was there was a special spot there for Y/n.

I went on through the factor eventually leading us back up to the main doors of the barn house. I wondered why the air had become quiet, and when I turned around, I understood why. Y/n was gone, like they had vanished behind me. “God damn.” I said out loud, maybe they were just lost within the factory's upper halls. Maybe they hadn’t left the spot. I had no clue where they were, so I ventured back into the elevator.

When I went back down to the floor the last time, I saw Y/n they were there. Having disappeared in the maze that was my factory wasn’t at all what I wanted. I knew the maze well, but I knew the anxiety that would course through my veins was coming. With that came the fluttering of metal from all over the factory, then a loud shriek.

I wasn’t able to tell exactly where it was coming from since the factory was producing Soldats at this time. I just knew that if I didn’t find Y/n soon it would be too late for them or for me to save them. I ran over to the two large doors busting into the small hallways that led me directly to the main room. If I wasn’t so angry at myself, and frustrated at the fact that Y/n hadn’t stayed beside me I would have started off by looking in the obvious places.

Another shriek a cry for help came from west of the main room. I ran my boots hitting hard on the concrete floors, and metal jittering as I went. My heart was pumping and the urge to kill every Soldat, Ponzer that I saw was a strong force coming from behind me. If only they had stayed right next to me, but they hadn’t I should have realized that when they left longing touches on my metal army.

I should have gotten it sooner.

When I arrived, it was a scene out of a horror movie. Y/n was laying on the ground bleeding, their eyes were slowly closing. My boots couldn’t carry me any faster against the concrete ground. I slid into their body. It was limp in my touch. I tried to look around for the machine that had caused such pain to my buttercup, but it wasn’t the time for it and it wasn’t the time for me to go on a murdering rampage as they sat here on the brink of life, and death.

“Y/n stay with me please buttercup.” I pleaded with them, but quicking eyes that were closing were making everythung hard. I had to assess the situation without the load of emotion behind every drop of blood. I looked down and the chest could be seen through their shirt, a few scraps. Their legs were fine covered in blood, but when I gently grazed my fingers over them I didn’t feel any scraps.

“Y/n, where are you hurt?” I asked under complete and utter stress. My words came out in a harsh and rushed tone. “My... My hands.” Y/n was able to get out. Their hands, I hadn’t even notice that both hands were severely crushed, fingers mangled and ripped from the delicate flesh. A quick flashback to the earlier day of their fingers grazing over a pumping heart in one of my merciless machines.

“Okay, okay.” I said hooking my hands and arms under their limp body. I couldn’t bring them to Alcina, my older could probably smell the blood from here. It wasn’t my plan to have Y/n become a fancy shitty wine of Alcina direct order to just fuck with me. Donna and Angie wouldn’t care to any shit about their health and helping me.

In a family of black sheep, I was truly the blackest here.

Their limp body was getting harder to hold as they slipped further and further into this deep unforgiving darkness. The only other person I could bring my buttercup to was Salvatore Monroe. A disgusting fish creature, but one that was willing to help anyone that came into his domain. I kept a strong arm on Y/n has I rushed us out of my factory over the bridge and over into Monroe domain.

I knocked hard on Monroes door. “MONROE!!” I screamed I never thought that I would ever travel to Monroe for any help, I had nowhere else to go. Mother Miranda would die to have her hands on a test subject like Y/n, and it wasn’t happening on my watch.

My younger brother came waddling to the door. His eyes growing in surprise when he saw the limp body in my arms. “I don’t have time for your shit Monroe, just fucking fix them.” I grunted pushing past his body. I cleared a nearby table. “What happened?” I heard the fishman from behind me as I set Y/n down taking my coat off to rest under their head.

“I’m not proud to say it, but I did tell them to stay with me.” I said under gritted teeth. “Karl?” I heard just a brief say of my name. My buttercup was just barely awake, and I needed to be by their sides regardless I didn’t care that I was showing emotions in front of Monroe. Not that I think he cared, before the great Mother Miranda injected us and made us her children Monroe was what I heard to be a great doctor. I only hopped it was still the truth. Just because the fishman couldn’t make an infected cadou monsters didn’t mean he wouldn't help me.

“Heisenberg, I need to know what happened.” Monroe said bringing a few cleaning supplies with him. In one sentence I explain that I left Y/n down in my factory and one of my machines must have thought they were a intruder. His face was straight for the rest of the time, as he cleaned at their wounds. Little gasps of pain shooting through Y/n here and there. FInally when all the blood was off and done I could assess the true damages my machines had made on my buttercup.

Their fingers on both hands had been mangled but not as badly as I had previously thought. Their right hand was missing a thumb, and pointer finger, their other hand was only missing a pinky and their middle finger. I surveyed the damages. My mind already working on something to reproduce the aching pain Y/n would wake up in the next few days.

“Monroe, I trust you to keep them safe, I need to create a few things tonight for Y/n.” I said, standing tall next to my buttercup. He hummed, “I’ll wrap their hands. I figure you’re going off on a machine killing spree.” He spoke. I raised a brow, but didn’t bother commenting on it. I bent down kissing my buttercup softly on their temple. “You’ll be safe my lover, if you aren’t Monroe knows I’ll have his fishtail before the end of the days sky tomorrow” I whispered into their ear.

No response from Y/n, and it was killing me.

I turned and left Monroe domain. As I walked on my path back to my factory, I thought of many ways it would take for me to solve my problem. The type of research I would have to do, but if I recall there was a few styles already categorized after Ethan Winters had come me for a repair for his two lost fingers years ago when he came here to safe the cost of outside real medicine.

On my walk back to my factory I was just barely there when the wonderful Mother Miranda popped up out of the shadows. “Son?” She questioned me, I swallowed down my hatred. “Mother Miranda.” I greeted her still keeping my pace towards me factory. “Where's that lovely test subject of your tonight?” She asked me, ‘shit she knew’ ‘how long has she known’ ‘how long has she known and not said a fucking word thinking she could hold it over my head.’ I thought all to myself for only a few seconds. “Resting tonight, another round of Cadou in a successful round Mother Miranda.” I said shoulders holding still as the her gazed did on my face trying to find something wrong.

“Well goodnight son” Miranda said and with that she was gone in a swoop of crows. I took a much-needed breath and ran the rest of the way back to the factory. I wasn’t cold, but only then remembered that I no longer had my jacket. Mother Miranda would have a word with me in the next few days always noticing a hair out of place.

When I arrived at my factory, I swept everything else of my work bench and got out my years old plans for Ethan Winters need prosthetics. I based my current work for Y/n based on them. As I worked all I thought about was going down the damn elevator and killing the son of bitch machine that had acted out of order. I wouldn’t mind smashing that thing to bits and bobs to just use it to create something new for my precious buttercup.

I resented my angry a tool mother Miranda had used many times. I took another deep breath for the second time tonight. “Work on your plan.” I said out loud to myself. I worked mostly through the night, and into the early morning with only a few coffees breaks a few fifteen-minute naps. When the pounding of my doors tore me away from my work. Opening them only to Y/n standing behind Monroe. “They wouldn’t shut-up about where you were, and Mother Miranda is always watching.” Monroe said His huffing a good example of how frustrating Y/n could sometimes be, but all in good faith.

“Thank you, Monroe.” Y/n said kneeling down and kissing his cheek. His cheeks grew with blush, and as quickly as he was here, he was waddling off towards my bridge. We walked in, silence filling the room. “Karl?” Their voice roped with sugary goodness. “I’m sorry.” They said under hushed voices. My brows fell into my face. “What could you possibly sorry for Y/n? I left you alone in my shop, never even turned around until I got up here.” I said sitting down the chair I had been sitting in for all these hours finally starting to grow uncomfortable. “Karl, no it wasn’t your fault. I got distracted and you were clear about your rules stay by your side every second. The heart on one of your Soldats had just been so memorizing.” They hadn’t brought up the fact that they only had eight-in-half fingers left.

I went back to tinkering, my work nearly done. In only a few hours everything was done. Y/n had fallen asleep their arms tucked into their warm body. “Y/n? Buttercup?” I whispered into their eyes, my beard scratching at their skin. I heard a small grunt. I waited for them to sit up, before yet again getting in their personal space. “Y/n, my love. I have something for you.” I said softly. I took their hands. Still bandages up nicely. I tired the first time to take the bandages off but was stopped when a hand pulled away from mine.

Tears in Y/n eyes grew stronger by the second. They didn’t want to look at their hands it was nothing from pretty, but that was it. They were still beautiful regardless. Tender and delicate just like they had been yesterday when they touched at the Soldats heart.

“Do you trust me?” I asked them. Their eyes tracing my face. “Of course, I trust you, Karl.” They said, words being crushed by the forceful tears that wanted to press into their cheeks. “Then let me help you. "I said, Starting again at the bandages. This time there was no resistance. I was able to take off all the bandages and finally get a better look at the wounds they had attained. I was delicate with their fingers.

I could rub just a little bit of the cadou inside of the prosthetics. Just for Y/n’s safety of course. “Sit tight my lover.” I said kissing their temple before getting up to get the prosthetics, doing a little bit of magic. Rubbing some of the caduo in the joints of the machinery I had created in the previous night.

When I came back the room Y/n was staring at their fingers. A single tear was rolling down their face. I felt the pain, but I couldn’t do anything with it. “Lover?” I said, when I sat down. “I know that this was ultimately my fault. I want to give you this gift. A new part for your fingers. Something that will help to mend your fingers back together.” I said slipping each hand into the prosthetic. When I was done Y/n wiggled their fingers. Each finger moving just like her human fingers. They cried a deep tear. Reaching across to hug me. They tipped my hat down the floor, but frankly I didn’t give a damn about that shit hat anyways. All I cared about was the fact that Y/n was safe and I had been able to come up with new parts for her in only a few hours.

I tried to kissed them softly on their forehead, but was swifted out of one. When Y/n moved molding out lips together. Our lips molded together, tongue and teeth. Just everything I would have loved to do with them yesterday. That was the true plan go show them around the factory and then get them back to my private chambers to have my way with my buttercup.

New parts for m buttercup became my new invention instead. I liked the way they gleamed under the soft light. I wanted the way they felt as they glided through my hair, then tugged. “Careful Buttercup, you may end up with more new parts if you keep that shit up,” I said between gasping for air kisses. They winked and went on with their hard tugging, loud moans, and bratty nature.

Posted on: 11/23/22

Completed on: 11/21/22

House Heisenberg-

#gender neutral s/o #fluff #karl hisenberg #karl heisenburg x reader #karl heisenberg #resident evil village #resident evil village Heisenberg #gender neutral reader #they them #they them pronouns #nonbinary #nonbinary reader

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rubykgrant · 2 years

Text

(I found this bit I wrote, then forgot about, so here it is again; Church returns in a synthetic human, slowly getting used to being alive and junk... and Caboose making a discovery!)

“I smell food out there... REAL FOOD,” Church said, in a desperate and raspy tone.

“I hope you enjoy the smell, because that’s all you’re gonna get,” Tex told him.

“Nooooo... come on, this is TORTURE!” he whined, switching immediately from trying to sound like a parched vampire, to just being pathetic. “I bet I can have real food. How long did it take for YOU to have real food? I want some real food!”

“It was a couple months before I could keep solids down. I already told you this, and Doc gave you a meal schedule. You KNOW what you can have, and right now, all you can have is yogurt and soup!”

“I’m SICK of YOGURT and SOUP! Tell everybody they’re not allowed to eat real food unless I can, too!”

Tex smirked. She knew it was hard for him; his senses were all brand-new, he couldn’t help how strongly he reacted to the smell of delicious food he’s never had the chance to eat before... but she also knew that if he ate anything that required chewing or was too rich, he’d just throw-up.

This was a struggle, and she was trying to be compassionate... but it was also just REALLY amusing when Church got all pissy.

Tex now rolled her eyes, and sat down on the bed beside him. Church tried to keep pouting, but now he could smell something besides the food; Tex being next to him was more refreshing than opening a window. She had been outside, in the little garden area on the roof of the shared apartment, so she smelled like damp earth, cut grass, and various flowers. Tex gently nudged him with her forehead, leaning over so she was now propped up on her elbow, and he finally let out a sigh...

“Hi, Church! Hi, Tex!” a voice called out to them from the door. “I was having a steak with a baked potato, and thought maybe you guys were hungry too! We saved some steak for Tex, and Church- I got you your favorite! Chicken noodle soup!”

“Caboose...” Church groaned while Tex tried not to bust out laughing, leaning her face into his shoulder. “You are a terrible tease, you know that?”

“Hmm, no, I didn’t know that,” Caboose mused.

“Now I know how Grif feels... oh shit, this is just his life all the time, isn’t it?”

“I also got you some vanilla yogurt for dessert,” Caboose added, and Tex finally cracked up.

“Y’know what, Caboose? Yeah, I’ll have some soup... but can you pick the chicken bits out for me? They’re always all chewy and gross, I don’t like them,” Church figured his stomach was going to keep groaning unless he finally put some food in there, and he would just have to PRETEND it was steak with a baked potato.

“Sure, Church, no problem!” Caboose left the room... and then almost immediately returned.

“Well, that was quick...” Tex said to Caboose.

“I remembered the other thing I wanted to tell you. Before we got the food, I got something ELSE for Church...” Caboose explained, holding up a cardboard box. He set it down on the floor, and then pulled out a helmet.

An old, pale blue helmet.

“Holy shit...” Church said quietly. “Is that mine? Mine from Blood Gulch?”

“Yes, it is. Well, one of them. There was some other helmets from other armors from other places that were yours I found, but most of them were broken really bad. I threw those away, but this one was OK, so I kept it. I used to look at it when I felt bad, and it hurt to look at it, but after a while I could look at it and feel happy. Last night, I realized I haven’t looked at it in a long time, so I wanted to check if it still made me happy...” Caboose was slowly turning the helmet over in his hands. “It did. It also made me think of Epsilon too, and that also made me sad, but a little happy because I know he’d like that we’re all together again, and we’re here because he saved us, and even though you and Tex weren’t there in the fight, he kinda saved you guys too, and the rest of the Fragments. I thought about how Epsilon would be proud of me for remembering you AND him, because I’m the best at remembering every Church I know... and then remembered something else,”

Caboose finally stopped talking for a moment, still looking at the helmet.

“What was that, Caboose?” Church asked, genuinely unable to guess where this was going.

“Well, I remembered how he wanted to say good-bye to everybody, because he wanted to save everybody. He left us messages in our helmets to let us know how he felt. So I thought, maybe...” Caboose finally looked back up at Church and Tex, smiling in a soft way, like he understood that they also might feel hurt and sad looking at this helmet, but he seemed certain that this helmet would help them. “I looked inside the helmet, and there was a blinky-light!”

“A blinky-light?” Church’s eyebrows went up.

“Yes, a blinky-light! That means there’s a message in here!” Caboose walked over, and held the helmet out for Church to take (which he did, just barely strong enough to lift it up).

“Church...” Tex was surprised as well.

“It’s probably just an old message... or one of those stupid scam e-mails we always used to get about how ‘suspicious activity’ with our credit cards. None of us even HAD credit cards! Or those calls I’d get about ‘renewing registration’ for my vehicle, and the only vehicle we had was a tank! There WASN’T any registration for Sheila! Oh wait, should we have gotten insurance for her? Huh... y’know what, I bet this is just an old recording from Vic, telling us to kill the Reds, and I do NOT need to hear that stupid little chipmunk voice of his ever again-”

“No, it’s none of those. I didn’t listen to it, but I checked the date. It got sent to your helmet the same day Epsilon sent us all of our messages,” Caboose explained.

“Oh,” Church looked down at the helmet again. Well, that pretty much settled it. Something from Epsilon was here, in this helmet that Alpha used to wear, after he forgot he was Alpha and when he first started being Church.

“I’m glad I remembered about Epsilon... hey, that was his job too, right? Epsilon was memory! Maybe that’s why he needed my help to wake up the first time, he needed somebody who was good at remembering to remind him how to remember!” Caboose smiled again, and Church couldn’t help but smile back.

#red vs blue #rvb #rvb fic

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