#if its stupid i can turn my brain off and if its actually edgy and well written then hey i can actually turn it on and not guess the plot | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fruitcoops · 3 years

Note

So this is sort of similar to the people writing fanfic about the lions but can you imagine the YouTube edits? Like the videos that are just "Cap having heart eyes for Loops for 10 minutes straight" or "Loops lovingly dragging Caps name through the mud for 3 minutes" like those kinds of things and I can just imagine them doing reaction videos and it just being funny and the world just loving coops

Okay so this wasn't a specific fic request but I got carried away with imagining videos and....here you go. SW credit goes to @lumosinlove, but Grace and Anna are mine! Bonus points to anyone who remembers the easter egg in this one!

Message From: Gracie

ANNA HOLY SHIT

Anna frowned at her phone screen, squinting to read around the spiderweb crack decorating the upper corner. She had tried to convince herself that it was cool, goth, edgy, but in the end she had to admit that it was just irritating. In a tragic turn of events, packing tape couldn’t fix everything.

Message To: Gracie

Wtf did I do

Two weeks of radio silence, then unexplained accusations. Anna shook her head as the grey bubble disappeared for a third time and turned back to her computer. Grace may have been her favorite cousin—and favorite person, if she was being honest—but very few things came between Anna and video editing. Especially editing for a Lions meme video. She had a whole 2,341 followers to attend to, after all.

Message From: Gracie

DID YOU SEE THE FUCKING INTERVIEW???

Message To: Gracie

Wow thank you so helpful

Message From: Gracie

Skip to 2:45 bestie

A link popped up just as Anna cut a segment from the sleep study video, where Loops’ heart eyes were in full effect. It was a rare, precious find for fan editors like herself.

“Come on,” she groaned. Maybe introducing Grace to the deepest parts of her hockey obsession was a mistake. But, really, what else was she supposed to do when she learned her cousin, who didn’t even live in Gryffindor, got to meet her favorite players just by chilling in a café? What kind of cosmic joke was that?

She narrowed her eyes at the embed of the link, then stifled a shriek. Impossible. How had she missed an upload?

As if on cue, her computer pinged with a new notification from the Lion Pride channel. “Oh, fuck me,” she muttered, scrambling to save her half-done video and pressing play.

The interviewer asked basic questions, ones she had heard the answers to a million times while curating her content. It always felt funny to hear people refer to Cap as ‘Sirius’—it was too official, too formal. She had spent countless hours on the compilations of his softer moments, and they were her most popular videos. Cap Having Heart Eyes for Loops for 10 Minutes Gay. Cap Being an Actual Puppy for Six and a Half Minutes. Everyone Wanting Cap Cuddles for Fifteen Minutes. Every Time Cap Smiles When Someone Mentions His Godson. The list was endless. She loved it.

She did a silent fist pump when she saw the interviewer had snagged both Cap and Loops; that would give her a whole new stream of workable content. If she was lucky, she could expand on her series of Loops Lovingly Roasting His Friends, part…fuck it, who was even counting anymore?

Anna was so caught up in her excitement that she nearly forgot about Grace’s suggestion. I’ve never skipped through a video on the first watch before, she thought hesitantly. But maybe just this once…

Her cursor hovered over the 2:45mark. She closed her eyes, and clicked it.

“—have you been adjusting to life as a celebrity?” the interviewer asked. Anna nearly rolled her eyes when Loops laughed. That question had been used far too often to be interesting anymore.

“It’s had its ups and downs,” Loops said with a smile. “Mostly, though, the fans have been incredible and just knocked my socks off with their support.”

“Really? What’s your favorite part of the Lions fanbase?”

He didn’t miss a beat. “Their creativity, for sure. There was a video a while back where we reacted to some of the comments people left, and this person on Twitter made an absolutely beautiful collage of photos.”

“I have it saved to my phone,” Sirius added.

One more clip for the simp video. Anna made a note on the small corner space of her European History notes. The degree can wait for ten more minutes.

“Do you have a favorite creator?”

The interviewer was clearly teasing, but Loops’ smile was genuine. “I don’t know about a favorite, but there’s this person on YouTube who makes a shit ton of videos and they’re hysterical. I saw one the other day about—god, what was it again?”

“Every time I smile when people mention Harry,” Sirius answered around a laugh. “Can you blame me?”

Anna didn’t hear the next question. A ringing noise filled her ears as she sat, frozen, on her shitty dorm mattress and listened to her literal heroes talk about her dorky little channel. “Holy fuck,” she blurted after a moment of silence. “Holy fuck.”

“—subscribed?” The man’s voice snapped her back to reality.

“Of course I am!” Loops said. “You think I’m passing up a chance to watch a compilation of my friends making stupid decisions for the entire internet to see?”

A noise that would have been a shriek if Anna had any breath left in her body escaped her lungs; she clamped a hand over her mouth and shakily exited from the video before going to her YouTube account. 800 new notifications. 700 new followers in the last quarter hour. She was pretty sure she blacked out for a second from sheer shock and joy.

Message To: Gracie

What

Message From: Gracie

You’re famous!

Message To: Gracie

What

Message From: Gracie

I bet he knows your stuff better than he remembers me tbh

“They know me,” she whispered, staring at her computer. The unfinished video showed a perfect frame of Loops’ soft smile as he watched Cap get his toothbrush stuck in his pajama shirt. Somehow, the thought was both exhilarating and horrifying. What if they thought she was a creep? She wasn’t, not really, just a bored college student with not enough free time for a job but too much to keep herself busy with schoolwork. Her 2,341—no, 3,052—followers were just other hockey nerds looking for time to kill.

And the subject of those videos was one of her subscribers.

Anna slipped her headphones back on and began to edit like it was her last day on earth. Her fingers flew across the keyboard on muscle memory while her brain fizzed. Perfect, she thought. It has to be perfect.

In four hours, it was done. She sat back, panting, then hunched over again and began tapping out a title card.

Hello. Idk if anyone saw the new Lion Pride video today (linked below if anyone wants to see why I’m dying right now) but apparently Remus Lupin is subscribed to this channel and has been for a while.

Hi Loops. I’m Anna. You met my cousin once and she said she liked your sweater.

Now that that’s out of the way, please enjoy the next five minutes of our new rookie being the sappiest mf in existence (except for his fiancé). Mr. Lupin, please tell Hattie I say hello.

She pressed upload, peeled her headphones off, and collapsed backward on her bed.

Message To: Gracie

If I die here, tell the world I did it doing what I loved

Message From: Gracie

Will do

OH FUCK YOU FOR BRINGING UP THE SWEATER I SOUND LIKE A CREEP

Anna covered her itchy eyes with her forearm and settled in for a long, long nap. Her brain still needed to repair a few circuits.

#remus lupin #sirius black #coops #anna #grace #sweater weather #lumosinlove #my fic #fanfic #ocs #hattie #lion pride

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shirophantomvox · 3 years

Text

Leorio, Hisoka, Illumi, and Chrollo Head Canons #2

What’s up y’all! Thank you so much to the people who have given me feedback about what posts you all would like to see! This post will be about the “Adult Trio” and Leorio about how they would help their significant other with a subject in college. This one is a good suggestion! I’m going to incorporate fluff in this, as I am a sucker for fluff. I hope you all enjoy this! I most certainly do. This post is about 2687 words but don't worry, it's worth the read! These head canons came from my mind its a coincidence that some of these pictures match the thoughts. Portentous (old English) means wonderful or marvelous (in modern English) FYI: I am thinking about creating a discord server for both Voltron and Hunter x Hunter fans. I don’t know how to use the fancy perks of discord yet, so if you know how to and can help me out, send me a message! Alright, let’s get to it! Obviously these images are from Pinterest.

Discord Server for Voltron and HxH fans!

Leorio

“Mr. Leorio”, as we all know, is a sharp guy. He dresses in a suit, carries a suitcase, and wants to be a doctor. This man knows everything about academics, especially math and science. He will need to know these subjects to be a successful medical doctor.

Leorio received an A- in Calculus II and a B+ in Organic Chemistry. He was the only one that passed with flying colors while everyone else barely made it. He didn’t gloat in their faces but as soon as he got into the hallway he jumped for joy.

He was extremely happy about his progress and counted the days until graduation even though that was in 5 years. Wow! Don’t we love graduate school?!

He deserved the high grades because he spent countless nights studying missing parties, football games, and being with you just to make sure he was on the right track to graduating on time.

As we all know, Leorio wanted to pursue this career because he witnessed his best friend dying in front of him powerless to save him. The care for his friend would have been too expensive. Obtaining his degree was in honor of his friend; he’d save countless children, women, and men who’d all thank him for his hard work.

Leorio didn’t socialize much, but he did find himself hanging around a group of classmates that were a part of a co-ed fraternity that provided information on scholarship money for graduate school and job opportunities. This is where he met you. You didn’t want to be a doctor but instead wanted to be a computer scientist and decided to volunteer for this fraternity job fair.

As he rejoiced, his smile faded when he saw you walking down the hallway; tears falling from your face not caring who stared at you. He quickly walked up to you, put his arm around your back, and gave you a soft hug.

“What’s the matter,” he asks.

You were failing Calculus, a class you’ve been taking since the 12th grade but for some reason, you couldn’t pass it. Everyone else had A’s and B’s, while you had a D. D’s aren't accaetable in college; most make you retake the class.

“Don’t worry. I’ve just passed my midterm. I can help you study. You’ll pass; trust me.”

Later on that evening, he kept his promise but gave it a unique twist. He kept the lights off and lit 4 Yankee-sized candles in the room that smelled like Lavender. In the background, he had piano jazz playing on his speaker. You felt confused for a moment. You and Leorio weren’t necessarily dating but you both flirted with each other here and there. He wasn’t a social butterfly, but he felt comfortable talking to you.

“Um...what’s the music for?”

“It helps me concentrate. Believe it or not, it helps my brain flow. You like it don’t you?”

“No, actually I don’t.” Truth be told you loved it but you wanted to pull his strings a little. He looked up with a confused look.

“Ok. I’ll turn it off.”

“I'm kidding! It’s great!”

Whenever he cannot solve a Calculus question, he reviews similar problems from Algebra II. He applies this knowledge to your problem.

“Perform the indicated function evaluations for f(x)=3−5x−2x^2 . I’ll solve the first part for an example: f(6+t) simply means you will exchange “x” for 6+t. It will look like f(6+t)=3-5(6+t)-2(6+t)^2=-49 . You’d distribute -5 and -2 to the numbers inside of the brackets in which they are next to.”

Wow, that was easy! Wait, not he must think you’re stupid.

“You must think I’m stupid, don’t you?”

“Of course not! It took me a while to understand it too. You’ll apply the same knowledge for the rest.”

After what seemed like 4 hours (which was 2), you finally finished your homework! It was probably wrong but at least you made it past the 1st question! As you blew out the candles and turned on your LED lights instead, you see Leorio sleeping on your couch. Something about his soft face made you smile and place your hand over your heart.

“My little doctor,” you whispered to yourself.

“Well, come give this doctor some company then. I’m freezing over here!”

The throw blanket was large enough for you both. Snuggling on the couch was a great end to a stressful day.

Chrollo

To everyone else Chrollo was “Boss” or “Boss Man” but to you, he was Chrollo. Big C was known for his love for poetry and language.

He read poetry any chance he had at lunch and even dinner. It had gotten so bad that you had to tell him for the millionth time “No books at the table!”

Given his past, he always read at least 2 hours a day or one book a week. Reading is what got him through the day.

He was staying in your dorm for the day to relax because he had taken and passed his midterms to. The young thief thought about hiding in the closet but he didn’t because he sensed that you’d be tense because of midterms.

As you walked through the door, you looked angry, so angry that you could punch a wall. He immediately rose to his feet, threw his arms straight out in front of him, and motioned for you to stop. You just stared at him blankly.

“Come here,” he said like you, on cue, melted in his arms. He was warm and the deepness of his cooing voice vibrated against your neck. “What’s the problem?”

“I’m failing this stupid Shakespeare class!”

“Really?”

“Yes and if I don’t pass this midterm I’m going to fail the class for the 3rd time. I want to drop out! Who needs this scam anyway?!”

Chrollo held you a bit longer until you were ready to sit down and get to business. You pulled out your college’s book about Shakespeare plays and how he used Old English. Chrollo was the perfect man for the job! He’s read Macbeth and Romeo and Juliet several times!

Chrollo read a few stanzas and explained them. He then had you read some on your own and explain them...still you can’t.

He notices the problem immediately. He catches you snuggling comfortably against his toned arm, nearly falling asleep.

Chrollo laid at the very corner of the couch as you lay horizontally placing your head against his chest. You were comfortable but you weren’t able to focus. He notices this and slightly demands that you go sit at the table. When it came to academics, he was serious.

For as long as he had been reading, he has an arsenal of vocabulary words ready to be of use. He created flashcards for you and had you flip them over for nearly an hour. You start to memorize the words!

But you’re not done yet.

“Say the word ‘portentous’.”

“Por-ten-trious…?”

“No. Por-ten-tas.”

“Tias…?”

He moved his chair next to you, just an inch away from your face. He cups your mouth and moves it as he speaks again. This wasn’t a hard clutch, it was soft and he wasn’t irritated but he could sense that you were becoming irritated.

“Por-ten-tas,” he said again.

Instead of letting your cheeks go, his eyes diverted to your lips. They were moist and plump, ready to be met by his.

“Your lips are gorgeous. Kisseth me quite quaint.”

Oh no. Look at the monster you’ve created.

Chrollo created a reward system. Whenever he did things right as a child, he was rewarded with money and jewels. For every word you pronounced and defined correctly, he kissed you once. For each word you got correct in a row, he’d kiss you twice.

Soon enough he had kissed you so much that you couldn’t see straight!

The kisses worked because you passed your midterm! Each kiss placed a stain in your brain that made you remember the definition and how to pronounce it.

You and Chrollo celebrated by drinking champagne and listened to him read Sonnet 23 and 57.

Hisoka

As unusual as it seems, Hisoka is gifted when it comes to Chemistry specifically. That is why you two work well together...there is some chemistry going on between you two.

His hair down and his glasses were his alter ego, it was something that made him act completely different than what you were used to.

When you all were freshmen, he would skip class, attend parties, and would be hungover almost every week but once he was called into the Dean’s office, he changed.

You slightly missed that edgy side of him, but you enjoyed having a serious beau.

Hisoka is a social butterfly and is the life of the conversation and you loved him for it but sometimes it was awkward.

While he was chatting away about Calcium (Ca) and Iron (Fe), you stood there nodding like an idiot. You had NO IDEA about what he was talking about and that is why you were going to drop your chemistry class.

“I saw an imbecile put aluminum foil in the microwave and it burst into flames. How did they not know that Microwaves are the radio waves falling under frequency around 2500 megahertz? Any metallic object detected by radio waves inside the microwave acts as a reflector of radio waves.”

You shove his arm hard. He was acting arrogant in front of his friends. You were used to this but it got on your nerves. You made mistakes, everyone does!...even those that almost burn down the entire dorm room.

You two leave the party and head to his dorm room. Once you were settled, you released a can of anger and threw it all over your boyfriend.

“Hisoka? You just humiliated me.”

“Oh? No one knows that I was talking about you, my dear.”

“Don’t ‘my dear’ me! I asked for your help and you’re ignoring me. I don’t appreciate that. I didn’t ignore you when you sprained your ankle, did I?”

“No, you didn’t, dear. I supposed I have a few hours to kill. What do you need help with?”

Hisoka’s way of studying was much different from other students. He exercises like crazy before he opens his textbook.

He listens to EDM instrumentals while on the treadmill and when he lifts weights. You weren’t standing there like a trophy, he made you lift too.

“Being healthy will help your brain flow more easily. Lift this dumbbell as heavy as you can.”

He ran a mile on the track upstairs. Sweat dripped from his face like he had been standing outside in the rain.

By the time you returned to his dorm, you were beyond tired. You laid your head on his pillow but just as you closed your eyes, he pulled you up on your feet.”

“Not on my watch,” he tutted. “It’s chemistry time.”

You were having trouble memorizing Chemical Formulas and this by far was the most difficult concept you had come across.

To make you stay awake, he turned on a bright LED light and faced it towards the table. The bright light nearly made your head fall off from the pain it reflected in your eyes.

Hisoka grabbed his book and began to write down the major chemicals on the periodic table and their charges.

“Pay attention to the following abbreviations and charges: Calcium is Ca, Chloride is Cl+2, Carbide is C+2, and Carbon Dioxide is CO+2. Read these over and I’ll test you again.”

He did just that but you still weren’t understanding. You were ready to give up.

Stupid scam. Why do I need a piece of paper to determine what I can do? You thought to yourself. Well, it’s obvious. If you can’t do the work now, what makes you think you can do it at a job? Harsh, I know.

“Let me try this,” He said. He carried you to his bedroom and gently placed you on it. He took off his shirt and removed his glasses. “Aluminum has a charge of +3 and Oxygen has -2. If there were three of me and two of my clones disappeared, how many of me are left?”

“Just you, right? One”

“Correct! Excellent.”

Wow, everything started making sense once he took his shirt off.

From then, he just inserted himself into the equation and then it started to make sense! He apologized for running his mouth earlier and promised to keep any more secrets between you two. The night ended with you sleeping in his bed wrapped in a cotton blanket just cuddling and that was it. And bam! You slept as sound.

Illumi

Dating the “hot” quiet history buff was a flex of its own. Sure Illumi didn’t talk to anyone besides you, but it didn’t matter. People swooned if he looked in their direction.

History was a popular major during your era. People were not like their grandparents; they wanted to learn about other cultures besides their own. Illumi’s specialty was in world history and civilizations. The class was very interesting to you but there was so much information, you could barely process it.

Illumi often wrote his essays in one day proofread and all! He often charged people to look their essays over.

One time he made $500 in one year!

Glancing at your transcripts, he notices that you have a C- and offers to help.

“Why are you looking through my stuff?”

Hey, he’s your boyfriend! But still, he should ask.

“Sorry. It was up on the screen,” he said, throwing his hands in the air.

You began to blush in embarrassment. The hottest smartest man in the building now knew that you were failing one of the easiest classes on campus.

Placing his thumb under your chin, he lifted your head to meet his gaze. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I can help you.”

“How? I am so behind! I zoned out after chapter 2!”

“We’ll watch a movie.”

“Oh, God! Not one from PBS is it?!”

“Yes. How else are you supposed to learn?”

He turns on the movie and allows you to lay your head on his shoulder but not too much. He is aware of your tricks and he wants you to pay attention.

Every 15 minutes, he pauses the movie and asks you checkpoint questions. If you got them wrong, you had to stand up with your underclothes on (t-shirt and shorts) in the cool room for 10 minutes. If you got the questions right, he allows you to lay more comfortably. You were already in your underclothes but you were under the blanket.

He made you write down key definitions and the embarrassment of each section.

After the movie, he blindfolds you and reads out a term. Surprisingly, you got them all correct!

As a reward for your past midterm, he takes you to dinner at a restaurant where he slips a promise ring on your finger containing your birthstone.

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wolf-and-bard · 3 years

Text

The Geraskier (and Lambden) H2O: Just Add Water AU of my dreams (bc Mermay is almost over and I haven’t done a thing for it and putting Geraskier into my favourite teenage shows is too much fun; this got long and messy):

-Geralt, Eskel, and Lambert grew up on the coast of Australia on an estate that is very big and private with its own sectioned-off part of the beach; among all their surfer kid school friends they are definitely the outcasts; they keep to themselves a lot and everyone thinks it’s because of their overprotective father who keeps them from throwing the best parties and also doesn't want them to go out into the ocean or have swimming lessons

-Vesemir is overprotective, but not for the reason everyone thinks; whenever he and/or his boys come into contact with water, they turn into mer-boys, complete with shimmering golden tails; he hoped this genetic oddity would pass them by, but it didn’t and so he taught them to be very careful for fear of them getting hurt

-they all cope with this in different manners: Geralt and Eskel mostly use their ability to do good; they protect little turtles from falling prey to predators, they collect trash from the bottom of the ocean; they also wrestle in the water a lot; Lambert tries to forget this is a thing and stays as far away form any body of water as he can; he spends most of his time secluded in his room, listening to edgy grunge music; sometimes his brothers can lure him out for a round of waterball in their private pool

-Jaskier is one of the popular kids one grade below Geralt (together with Lambert). He always gets the lead role in theatre, he has dozens of friends and a cool band and his outfits are outrageously fashionable; he vlogs a lot, he vlogs so much that anyone who has half a mind to get invested in his life will know everything from his morning routine to the night cream he uses; his favourite cafeteria lunch, the name of his teddy bear and his least favourite cousin

-Jaskier is also determined to befriend Geralt and his bros; he grew up in the same street as them and ever since he discovered Instagram, he’s been dying to take some shots in that house; he’s been over once, when Vesemir made the mistake of inviting a few kids Lambert’s age to his birthday party which ended up in a cake-throwing disaster; little Jaskier thought it was a great idea to tow the garden hose in and clean everything which ruined Vesemir’s favourite rug and had Geralt turn into a mer-boy on the spot; needless to say, Jaskier attributes this memory to a fever dream

-So, Jaskier starts following Geralt and Eskel around (he knows he’ll have no luck with Lambert) and they brush him off every opportunity they get

-What Jaskier doesn’t realize is that Geralt is hardcore in love with him, like so much so that his poor teenage mind cannot stop producing hormones on overload; he spends a lot of time out in the depths to distract himself from this

-What Jaskier also doesn’t realize is that he is falling for Geralt; it’s only for the sake of the 'gram, he tells himself, and because his followers seem to love the chunky mysterious senior with his strangely white hair

-Jaskier’s followers figure it out, the whole school figures it out, Lambert and Eskel figure it out (Geralt lets the guy sit at their lunch table, of course they’re in love) and eventually, even Geralt figures it out. Only Jaskier doesn’t and Geralt has a big-ass secret to keep anyway

-and so, to get rid of his pent-up frustration, he dives deeper and deeper; Eskel starts to worry, Vesemir says it’s just a phase, Lambert plainly doesn’t care

-Speaking of: Aiden is the snarky rich kid / bully that spends way too much time obsessing over uncovering their secret (bc he thinks he’s smart and always thought something about Vesemir was weird and he doesn’t like how they make such a fuss over their privacy). when he invities the three to one of his pool parties, he tries everything to make them reveal what they have going on, but Geralt doesn’t even show and Eskel keeps disappearing to play with Aiden’s dog and so Aiden is stuck with Lambert whom he definitely has a crush on, but won’t ever admit it. they’re enemies, okay? there’s a lot of tension and they end up drunkenly making out behind garden shed, something they both regret in the morning; Lambert doesn’t leave his room for a week straight and feigns a flu so he doesn’t have to meet Aiden at school; Aiden and Jaskier are friends ofc

-one day at school Geralt and Jaskier hang out on the lunch break alone because Eskel’s on a zoo trip with his class and Lambert is avoiding Aiden so he spends all his time holed up beneath the seats of the football field writing angry poems; Jaskier’s forgotten to charge his camera battery so it’s just them, stealing fries off each other’s plates, actually talking for once and Geralt’s sweating because Jaskier sits so close their knees bump and he looks ridiculously cute in his pastel dungarees and there’s this spot of ketchup on his nose that Geralt’s just itching to reach out and wipe away

-Jaskier isn’t all that hungry and he watches Geralt devour a third slice of pizza when he remembers his stupid childhood fever dream; he tells Geralt all about it, the cake fight, the ensuing mess and how he distinctly remembers Geralt growing a fish-tail and flopping around on the living room floor while Vesemir was screaming at them all to get out. “Funny, isn’t it? What your brain can make up?”; Geralt turns chalk-white and splutters a fake laugh

-he isn’t at school the next day and neither are Eskel or Lambert

-nor the next

-they are all a bit afraid, cautious and they just need to spend a few days, just the four of them, throwing themselves into the waves and being free of the shackles of their secrets; they chase each other around, they play some water ball and Vesemir makes them hot cocoa and rubs them dry the way he used to when they were younger and still unable to handle their transformation well

-as he does this, Vesemir thinks about moving somewhere more secure where there are less people, but he can’t take the boys’ life away; Geralt is clearly happy with Jaskier, Lambert’s coming around to opening up to someone, even if that someone is a giant asshole, and Eskel’s too easily unsettled to move elsewhere

-by the third day the boys don’t appear at school - and answer none of his texts - Jaskier gets unsettled; his followers urge him to just go and visit Geralt (they also finally enlighten Jaskier about his own feelings) and Jaskier does. thankfully, his camera is still uncharged and he forgot his phone at home or he would have filmed what he saw as he climbed their garden fence very ungracefully (no one opened the door)

-Geralt went too far out, too deep and got caught in the undertow of some massive waves, then was pulled under and cut himself on some rocks; Jaskier just about catches Eskel and Lambert dragging their brother ashore, his tail flopping helplessly; there’s blood washing away in the waves; Geralt’s eyes are closed and Jaskier understands with rare clarity that somehow this is his fault

-he hurtles towards Geralt, kicking up mud, so afraid that Geralt is going to die and as he does so he calls for Geralt, ignores Lambert’s curses and Eskel’s glower. They gently lower Geralt to the sand where the other two are out of reach of the hungry waves and Lambert runs for Vesemir, Eskel crouches down by Geralt’s tail, inspecting his wounds; meanwhile Jaskier is completely unfazed by the mer-boy thing, he simply drags Geralt’s head onto his lap and strokes his hair, apologizing over and over

-once Geralt is transformed back into human form, his wounds are patched up and Vesemir has given him a thorough lecture, he and Jaskier cuddle on the back porch couch and Jaskier keeps altering between laughing and crying; it’s ridiculous, Geralt is a mer-boy, but also he looked so fragile being hauled out of the water and Jaskier just loves him so fucking much

-and Geralt loves him back. and that’s how a spot of angst orchestrates their happily ever after

-meanwhile Aiden finds out when he has Lambert over for some making out one day and thinks it’s a funny idea to deposit his not-boyfriend in the pool mid-kiss; Lambert just floats in the pool, arms crossed, tail beating, waiting for Aiden to call the cops on him, but Aiden is super turned on and jumps in the pool with him and there’s more making out

THE END

#the witcher #my geraskier dream aus #geraskier #geralt x jaskier #mermay #merman!geralt #and co #jaskier #lambert #aiden #eskel #modern au #let's pretend like I'll write this for mermay next year #lambden #silly #high school drama #fluff #angst

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thefanficmonster · 3 years

Text

Never Satisfied [Chapter 2]

Corpse Husband x Original Female Character

Warnings: Language

Collaboration between Vy & Ashens 🖤

“this chick is crazy...and I kinda dig it“

It’s been four days since the incident and he’s all but forgotten about it, removed it from his memory entirely as if girls hide from police in his car on a regular basis.

Today is colder than usual, and his body has been quick to respond to the change, aching around the joints. Some days it’s impossible to move, feeling his clothes and sandpaper and housing spikes as joints. Thankfully, today isn’t that bad, the pain is rather manageable. Which checks out well for him, considering he has to do some cleaning around his apartment. His skin itched at the sight of the mess his living space has become over the last few weeks he hasn’t been bothered to pick up the strewn about items or wash the dishes in the sink.

Standing in his living room, he turns in a circle, taking in the disaster that is surrounding him. His chest tightens, throat closing up due to the overwhelmingness of the work he has ahead of him while all he wants to do is hide in his room, under the blankets of his bed that is for sure not willing to offer him much comfort at the moment, seeing as how it too is a mess.

Forget about that! He isn’t sure if his mind is telling him to forget the task he has at hand or the comfort he has in mind. Either way, he knows what the right thing to do is. It may give him anxiety, but it has to be done.

He clenches his jaw and closes his eyes, taking deep measured breaths and exhaling slowly just like his doctor had instructed him to do, in hopes to ease the tension around his lungs.

Calming down a bit, he finally decides to get on with it, starting with the smallest space he has to clean, hoping accomplishing a small victory would fuel his ambition to move onto the actual rooms with a lesser struggle. So, pulling on his favorite hoodie and a beanie over his black curls, he slips out of the front door and down the stairs of his apartment complex with a trash bag in hand. He may hate cleaning, but he hates messes more, therefore it’s an easy call to make. Easy when putting the two in comparison, a struggle when he actually has to get on with the process of cleaning.

With a deep breath as a final ‘You got this’ before action, he unlocks his car doors and looks around its interior. He starts off with the junk in the front - first tending to the passenger seat where he finds a couple plastic bags and a few water bottles. He keeps the area around the driver’s seat clean as can be, so he skips that side. Unfortunately, now he has to turn to the nightmare that is the backseats.

While it may be tame, compared to most, the three paper bags, five disposable coffee cups that he’d dropped to the floor are more than enough to annoy him. He also makes a frustrating find of a hoodie, a few shirts, a hat, and what appears to be a forgotten CVS bag of medication. Much to his dismay, there’s more: handfuls of old receipts that he is now shoving into the garbage bag he has in hand along with straw wrappers, a few stray cold fries dating back to God-knows-when. He sighs, somewhat relieved to see the backseat is doing a lot better now than it was a couple minutes ago, though it’s not even entirely clean just yet. Something catches his eye though - a choker that was probably covered by one of the clothing items he had found. He picks it up, turning it over in his hand. It’s made of soft leather with a gunmetal ”C” and a pentagram embossed on it. It has a leather braided cord on both ends to tie together and no price tag or brand to indicate its origin. He can’t remember buying this...but then again, retail therapy is a thing and it wouldn’t be the first time he forgot a purchase. He gives it one final once-over before shrugging and pocketing it. After collecting the headphones he’d also dumped in the back and retrieving a pair of boots from the trunk, he locks up his car and heads back into the building, mentally preparing himself for facing the terror of cleaning his apartment.

Returning to his place after tossing the trash in the dumpster along the way, Corpse locks the front door behind him and proceeds to drop the things he’s brought back near the front door.

This defeats the purpose of cleaning up in the first place, Corpse. He scolds himself but that’s what it remains at - just a scold. He slips the hoodie off his torso, but pauses when the leather collar falls to the floor. Tossing the clothing item on a dining room chair behind him, he picks up the choker and, without as much as a second thought, places it around his throat just below his Adam’s apple The metal feels cool against his skin and as he ties the leather cords at the back of his neck the corners of his lips curve upwards just a little.

I probably look stupid. He thinks to himself. Corpse tries not to look much at his own reflection, mostly because it’s a reminder of how little sleep he gets with the dark circles and worn out, exhausted eyes staring back at him whenever he looks. But when he catches a glimpse of himself in his peripheral on his way to piss, he admires his reflection, or more so the way the black leather stands out across his pale skin. He’s gotta admit, it looks pretty cool. Edgy. Very urban. Goth maybe? But he still prefers the chains he’s known to wear over chokers.

After doing his business, he starts heading toward his office with the intention of recording a new story for his channel if he manages to find a decent submission - and also to ignore the cleaning he still had to do eventually - when the sound of someone banging on the door of his neighbor’s apartment makes him jump, thinking the sound was coming from his door instead. Being the nosey bitch he is, he creeps to his door, listening to the muffled and almost completely incomprehensible voices from across the hall. The screaming match taking place is making him rather nervous and anxious and as much as he’d rather hide in his room and pretend he never heard or saw anything, he also doesn’t want the altercation to escalate into anything physical.

“You fucking bailed on me!” An angry female shout dominates over the other voice, a male one, that’s quick to follow the previous example with the tone volume.

“You almost got caught, it's not my fault you screwed up!” It’s the male’s turn to shout, his words intriguing Corpse.

Got caught? Screwed up what?

“Fuck you! You don’t just ditch like that! That’s such a dick move!”

Ditched? If it wasn’t for the ‘getting caught’ part I would’ve thought it was a flopped date?

“I wasn’t about to get arrested for your klepto ass! I’m done with your shit!” The male voice takes the upper hand again, and though the female attempts to speak, she’s promptly cut off by the male, “No! No, I said I’m fucking done! Get the fuck out of my apartment!” A loud bang that sounded remarkably like a chair being flipped over made Corpse jump again with his thoughts once again racing to try and make sense of the situation.

Klepto? So she’s a thief. Great. He rolls his eyes, not that he needed a reminder that he lives in a bad neighborhood, but he sure got it. He inhales slowly, finally deciding to check the aftermath in the hallway. Again, it isn’t his business whatsoever, but he can’t rest easy until he knows there isn’t an injured person outside his door right now. He peeks out the peephole before unlocking the door and sticking his head out to see a long haired individual still standing in front of his neighbor’s door. They have their back turned to him and are getting prepared to start banging on the door once again.

“Little scared-ass bitch! I’ll be back for my shit!” She screams, kicking the door to punctuate her point.

This chick is absolutely nuts. Everything in his gut is telling him to turn around and go back inside but his brain’s less-rational side is convincing him to check on her. He carefully steps into the hallway, swallowing nervously as he reaches out to tap her shoulder. “Are um-...you okay?”

The girl whips around, a furious expression on her face. Corpse makes a pause, his eyes widening at the sight of that familiar face.

Holy shit, I know this girl.

Standing in front of him is the girl who leaped into the backseat of his car only a few days ago.

Shit! What are the odds?

She’s wearing a pair of black skinny jeans and a cropped sweatshirt with the quote “Mercury’s in Gatorade or Some Shit” written in bold letters and a solar system around it, with a leather jacket on top.

His mouth dries when he makes a realization...

Oh fuck. She’s way prettier in the natural light instead of that ugly light I saw her in that night.

“Oh hey! Parking lot guy! What are y-...is that my choker?” She interrupts herself, looking closer at the black leather on his pale skin, her brows furrowing. He’d forgotten he was even wearing it to be honest, but she seems to recognize it. “That’s my fucking choker, dude! I’ve been looking everywhere for it!” She reaches up seemingly with the intention of taking it off him, causing his whole body to freeze up.

Finally finding his senses, Corpse takes half a step back, eyes slightly widened, “Woah, hey! Easy there, I’m pretty sure I bought this.” He warns, hands hesitantly held out in front of himself to try and create some distance between them.

She seems not to take the hint at his desire for personal space as she reaches out again, stepping closer. “No, I made it with my own two hands, man! It’s got a C on it for my name - Cora.” She says sharply to the point of anger that honestly frightens him a bit.

He quickly unties the leather straps, removing it from his neck. However, he refuses to give it back so easily as he holds it up out of her reach.

Maybe if it isn’t on me she won’t be all up in his personal space. Yeah, it’s a bit evil, but he didn’t care. Besides, part of him is still mad about the fact she used his car as a hiding spot, shooting his anxiety through the roof in the process.

“I feel like you owe me for those fries you stole last time we saw each other. Make it up to me and I’ll give it back. If it’s even yours, that is...” He says, brows furrowing slightly and eyes narrowing as he takes another step back. “And, you know, for nearly getting me busted by the police for something I wasn’t even a part of.”

Sure, he was talking but her eyes are wandering analyzing him: first the silver chains around his neck that glimmer in the light and his dark hair, strands dangling carelessly as a curtain over his face.

He too finds himself admiring her, memorizing her features better in this light. She has olive skin and sports a little bit of a tan. Stray locks of wavy dark brown hair hang around her ears having come loose from her messy bun. She has earthy brown eyes with flecks of green that he can’t help but stare at, despite their current sharpness. Her right arm is decorated with a few small tattoos: a skull of some sort of animal that appears to be puking flowers; a small cartoon t-rex floating via many colorful balloons and a brain with a spiky spiral in the center of it. She has a single line drawn around her pinky finger on the hand of the other arm and the shadowy silhouette of a forest around her wrist. However, the one thing Corpse could see better than all of that, was she is pissed.

“Gimme my fucking choker back! I paid you for those fries, it’s not my fault you spent them on douchebag lessons!” She snaps, hopping to try and grab his arm.

She is pressed up against him now, a wave of perfume hitting him when she attempts another jump. He holds the choker higher, maybe even subconsciously, just enjoying the warm presence of another body for as long as possible - not that he’d admit that.

Corpse’s brief content comes crashing down as he stumbles backwards when he feels something hard on his hip and her hands grabbing at the front of his shirt.

“Wait-“ He tries to say, but is cut off when a good amount of weight pulls at his jeans. “Oh Fuck!” He rasps out, dropping the choker as he slams onto the floor. In the split second he spared to take a breath, his pants had been yanked down to his knees and his neck was crooked up against his door. He’s now lying on the floor as the girl hovers over him having landed with her hand on top of his head and one leg over his chest while the other is pinning his arm down.

While remaining unmoving under the girl, he takes a moment to let the previous five seconds sink in before replaying them in his mind:

This small woman, Cora she said her name was, had put the boot clad toes of her left foot into the pocket of his baggy jeans to use as a stepping stool. In turn, they were shoved down, effectively pantsing him and tearing the pocket before knocking them both to the floor.

Corpse leans against his door, jeans still around his knees, hair a mess as he watches Cora stand up from where she’d practically tackled him and equip the choker.

“Serves you right.” She sticks her tongue out, tying the piece of jewelry behind her neck. “Now get up before someone calls the cops, we both know what happens then.” She rolls her eyes and bends down, offering her hands to help him up after he situated his trousers.

“Ah-um...I-...” anxiety started reigning in his chest and head as he realized everything that had happened. He takes both her hands and she uses all her weight to pull him up. Her pull was so strong that when he stood up, he had to hold her tight to keep her from falling back. He stabilizes her, maybe a little too hard because her chest collides with his. He apologizes under his breath, releasing her hands quickly. “Don’t people buy dinner first before yanking off their pants?” He snorts, trying to make light of the situation and crossing his arms over his chest. “But then again, you stole my dinner.”

“Are you insinuating I should take off my pants?” She asks with a smirk.

Corpse nearly chokes on his own inhale, eyes wide as he quickly looks away.

Oh my god is she serious? “N-no!” He says, perhaps too quickly. Too loudly. His cheeks turned dark pink as he gapes at her for a moment before furrowing his brows again. He hunches his shoulders a little, doing his best to avoid those sharp hazel eyes.

She’s pretty. Way too pretty for him and now she has him all flustered. This girl has way too much power over the agoraphobic anxiety bundle that is Corpse.

“Oh so you’re insinuating that I should buy you dinner since I took off your pants?” She prompts, eyes narrowing with a delighted little smirk on her face. She has to be enjoying watching him squirm in embarrassment, otherwise, why would she keep asking questions like that? Of course she does. She is like every other girl in his life.

“I’m..-just...Forget it.” He mumbles, shrinking back away from her as he turns to go back inside the safety of his apartment.

She’s probably making fun of me. Great, as if I didn’t have enough self-esteem issues already.

Before he could get inside, a hand grabs his shirt at the small of his back. “Hey, I’m just fucking with you, dude.” She says, giving the shirt’s fabric a tug.

He turns and looks at her with wary eyes, wondering if she was trying to goad him into falling for her taunting again. But the ice in her gaze has melted and she gives him a crooked smile. “Lemme buy you dinner to pay you back. It’s the least I can do after you helped keep my ass out of jail.” She releases his shirt after a brief moment of reluctance and then offers her hand to him for a handshake. “Oh, I should introduce myself, officially this time. I’m Cora.”

Corpse looks at her hand and carefully takes it. She has small hands and his long fingers practically engulfed hers as he shakes it lightly. He gives her his name in return and she smiles that light filled, beaming smile he remembers from the car.

“Nice to, um- meet you, I guess.” He finds himself staring at her, unknowingly still holding her hand in his until she looks up and grins a little wider.

“This seems like a roundabout way to hold my hand, bro. You could have just asked,you know.” She teases, but this time it felt okay, his embarrassment having faded slightly, but he still hurries to look away and release his hold on her.

Corpse murmurs a quick apology, but before he could stick his hand back into the ripped pocket of his jeans, she takes hold of it again, tugging him forward. “Come on, lock your door. I’ll buy you something to eat. You drive though.” She lets go of his hand after a moment and, much to his surprise, he catches himself missing the warmth that it provided him while it was there. Turning, he ducked into his apartment to grab his hoodie and keys, feeling suddenly thankful he’d cleaned his car out.

Taglist: @vixenl @fockingwhore

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annethepancake · 3 years

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Sherlock rant

I recently rewatched BBC Sherlock for Rupert Graves, and aside from the lack of Lestrade appreciation I have a lot of problems with this series. Here are my thoughts:

1. It was all a blur

My second first impression of the show: I don't remember anything but the characters. And some characters I just blatantly forgot, like Mary. And I loved Mary on my second watch! I really forgot that at one point John actually got married and I don't even remember when I watched the show for the first time. I can still recall most of HIMYM's events and I hated that series.

2. It’s overall not a detective/crime show

Watching Sherlock for the second time, I mostly turned off my brain and just let it play in the background because (1) there's hardly anything for me to solve with the characters, most clues are taken by Sherlock off-screen anyway (especially after season 2), (2) they focus way too much on the quirks of the characters that make it almost like a sitcom that got dragged on for way too long. A crime/detective show shouldn't allow me to turn off my brain.

3. The characters just kinda fall flat

Exploring the depth of human emotions is not a bad approach to a modernized version of anything, I’m not trying to pretend I’m better than someone who gets sentimental over fictional character (if you know my blog at all, you know I am not), but at least write good characters. Sherlock is hardly a multi-faceted person; in fact, he’s kinda like the Wattpad teen fic main character sometimes. He physically fights off some terrorists with a machete to save the damsel in distress? He gets high off his tits but still got everything right all the time? John is just kinda there for most of the cases. Jim is a poorly written antagonist. Irene is a lesbian but gets the hot for our main character, surprise surprise. The only interesting characters to me are the ones who act like normal people: Molly, Greg and Mary. They are the multi-faceted characters, ones who I can actually relate to without feeling inferior to them in any way. Write characters like them, stop trying to be smart about it and stop writing Wattpad fanfictions for Sir Conan Doyle’s original works.

I get that they try to make Sherlock more like a human with emotions, making him quirky and arrogant, then make him quirky and more likable. It’s hardly a convincing character development though. He’s given over-powered deduction skills, so edgy, so high and mighty all the time. When he is finally written as vulnerable, turns out he has plans for that too. I would love to see him get it wrong once and maybe get humbled by that mistake, but getting Mary shot and killed is hardly even his fault, he is only doing his job. And killing off Mary is overall a bad idea anyway.

4. They treated the fandom like shit

I was absolutely disgusted at the start of season 3 when the showrunners just straight up shat on their fans. I wasn't there with the fandom during the wait between season 2 and 3, but I believe it was a pretty long wait (2 years, I could barely wait 2 years for my comfort series, and they have like 10 episodes per season), and they were presented with the first actual mystery of the series: How did Sherlock survive the fall? After years of waiting and having fun theorizing, they were met with a mockumentary about them, starring the most hated character of the protagonist and the fans. Those are the people who actually cared about the show for god's sake. The fact that the showrunners treated fans like crap and there's still an active fandom for the show appalled me.

Now not only The Empty Hearse bugs me, but the entire show does as well.

Allow me to digress.

Doki Doki Literature Club is a great example of audience engagement done right (Sorry for using this example I’m not actually that invested in the other franchises). After the success of the first game, the story provoked so many fans into solving the mysteries of the characters, some of them went really, really far. And that’s because of the actual mysteries that the development team took effort to plant into the plot. There is actual pay-off for painstakingly following the clues; as far as I know, only two (2!) people in the world have come close to solving the mystery of the first game (or they actually did). The game developers value their fans and their intelligence enough to have planted those clues where they did, and it’s a genuine exchange between the fans and the creators. Now even though you haven’t actually played the game, when you hear of the name and you’re only kinda familiar with gaming (like me), you’ll probably know what it is. What started as a mere open-source game by an indie developer became a sensation which left millions of fans begging for more.

Looking back at Sherlock, there are tons of logical flaws for a self-proclaimed crime series, virtually no clues for the audience to solve crimes along with their favorite detective, and when there was actually a mystery (Sherlock jumped off the building), they plainly showed him alive and well minutes later. Do we really need to see things spelled on screen to know what’s going on? Are we supposed to accept that Sherlock Holmes is an all-knowing future-predicting genius now too? Not a great sign of respecting the audience there.

So far, the only thing left that’s interesting about this series is the characters’ dynamic. Which brings me to the next criticism I have for the show.

5. The plague that infested mainstream media

Why is there still an active fandom? Queerbaiting and targeted marketing.

Community marketing is proven to be one of the best marketing methods there is, if not the best, to lengthen the lifespan of a product or service. The way they do that for shows and films and video games is usually by planting seeds of possible lores and history inside the content. Look at Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings, they are franchises that ran for multiple years with a ton of history and world building that provokes fans’ imagination.

Sherlock - well, Sherlock has sexually ambiguous men.

Sherlock has a formula for success. It was an adaptation of the most iconic detective novel in the world, funded by one of the biggest TV networks in the UK and possibly the world (don’t quote me on this). Making this series means you can appeal to such a wide group of audience even before airing. Adding in the quirky smart men who live together, you’ve basically guaranteed a prime-time show with millions of loyal fans all over the world.

Fans are not stupid, and queer people don't just find queerness everywhere they go. They know a gay subtext when they see one. Sherlock came back from the literal death for John, pretty gay if you ask me.

This show is very much not just about some guys being dudes solving crimes, they have relationship that’s deeper than friendship, and definitely not platonic. They deliberately wrote a sexually ambiguous Sherlock Holmes from the get-go - literally from the very first episode, then capitalized off of the targeted demographic, never a pay-off for their anticipation. Martin Freeman said in interviews that he could recognize Sherlock fans, them being generally women from 16 - 25. No shit Sherlock, this show targets them and capitalizes off of them, being quirky and gay as hell, of course the fanbase is generally 16 - 25 and female.

Sherlock queerbaited the fandom for years for the sake of marketing and there’s never a pay-off, nor was there any recognition to the community, and to add to all that bigotry, queercoding pretty much all of the villains? Why was a show aired in the 2010′s allowed to do this? Why did Mark Gatiss, an openly gay man, a writer of the show, allow this to happen? Why are millions of fans all over the world allowing all this to go on?!

6. Conclusion

Now I haven’t read the books yet, so I’m not at all qualified to criticize the adaptation quality of the TV series; I’m just talking about the TV series on its own. Despite my criticism, I think the first two seasons did quite okay. There are quite a few nice cases there, I like The Blind Banker and The Hound of Baskerville. They did those well because the focus was on the cases themselves, and the connection between John and Sherlock was only in the background. I, like many other fans, like to figure things out on my own, to read between the lines, and to not have things spelled out for me. With the next seasons bombarded with Sherlock and John bonding it seriously felt like mere fan service for me and even though I wasn’t there when the show was on, I still felt like I was robbed and my interest in the show was abused.

Sherlock is undoubtedly super influential in pop culture even now. It has to have done something right to be in that spot (capitalizing off loyal fans?). I’m not writing this rant to change someone’s mind about the series, by all means, I’m still gonna love the hell out of Gavin Lestrade, and absolutely lose my mind over Mary Watson. So do take my words with a grain of salt, I’m just disappointed that one of the most influential shows there is is just short of my expectations.

#sherlock #bbc sherlock #rant #criticism

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voidofwords · 3 years

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hopelessly devoted

here’s a short wlw story i wrote! ngl i came up with everything, including the characters, as i went, but i ended up pretty happy with it!

Her grin is so bright when she looks at me. “Syd,” she says, beaming. “You won’t believe it!”

He said yes. I smile at her and tell the sinking feeling in my stomach to fuck off. “What?” I ask, with as much excitement as I can muster.

Jasmine turns her phone screen towards me so I can see the messages between her and Brandon, but she’s waving the phone around excitedly and it’s impossible to even get a glimpse of what the messages say. Fortunately for me, and I would like my sarcasm here to be noted, she is kind enough to also tell me the news herself:

“He said yes!” She squeals, grabbing me by the arm and shaking my whole body. “Brandon said yes to go on a date with me! I’m going on a date with Brandon.”

For a moment, my brain is so fixated on the fact that Jasmine is touching my arm, it forgets how to do anything else. But I manage to kick it back into action and plaster on my most convincing I’m-so-happy-for-you-and-not-at-all-screaming-inside smile. “Jas, that’s great! That’s amazing!”

She nods eagerly, her deep brown eyes looking into mine. “You have to help me prepare for the date. I don’t even know what to wear!”

That actually makes me grin for real. “Come on, Jas, we both know you have way better style than me.”

She giggles and shakes her head. “Shut up, I love your whole, like, tomboy thing. Your style is amazing. But I just meant I want you there for emotional support.”

“Oh. Right.” Did Jasmine just tell me she loves my style? I am fighting so fucking hard to keep my brain from going into overdrive. I try to smile, but I think it’s more of a grimace. “Of course I’ll be there,” I tell her. “That’s what friends are for.”

I don’t want to move. I don't want to get up. The alarm on my phone went off five minutes ago to let me know it was time to go to Jasmine’s house, but I think I might just lie here forever. What’s the point? She probably won’t even care if I come. She’ll be too fixated on her date with Brandon later to even notice if I’m there or not.

Brandon is popular and has abs and is apparently super hot and charming - I don’t get it, but sure - and I’m just Syd, the tragic gay idiot, in love with my best friend. If this was a movie, Jasmine would be the main character. Of course she would. And I’d be the edgy queer-coded friend who’s mostly there for comic relief and emotional support. My life is a fucking joke.

Because I might as well give the merciless gods watching my tragedy unfold something to laugh about, and because I’d be an asshole if I stood up my best friend right before her big date, I get up. There’s no point wallowing in my self-pity any more than necessary.

Jasmine’s arms are around me the second she opens the door. It’s a signature Jasmine hug, tight and squeezy and enthusiastic, the kind that leaves me out of breath for more than one reason.

“Syd! I was starting to worry you wouldn’t come.” She takes a step back and looks at me with her puppy-like eyes and I ask myself how the hell I’m going to get through today.

I shoot her what I hope looks like an apologetic smile. “Sorry. But I’m here!” I take in her worn-in sweatpants and oversized Mickey Mouse t-shirt. She still looks fucking amazing - this girl could literally wear anything and still look like a goddess - but I highly doubt this is what she’s planning on wearing for her date with Brandon.

“I take it you haven’t found out what to wear yet,” I say. “Or is the date more of a Disney-themed pyjama party?”

That makes her laugh. “No you silly goose! Brandon is taking me to dinner, and then to see a movie.” She takes my hand, and I freeze up as she pulls me inside the house and toward her room. “I need your input on what to wear.”

“You’d probably be better off without it, you know.” I smile as I imagine Brandon’s face if Jasmine showed up to their date in my battered jeans and too-big flannel. But I quickly chase the image away, because the thought of Jasmine wearing my clothes is too much to handle right now.

Jasmine picks up two dresses from her bed and holds them both out to me. “Which one do you like the best?”

I have seen her in both of them before, but they’re usually what she wears around her older conservative family members, not when she is out having fun. Both of them are very modest, while still being pretty.

“What happened to the other ones?” I ask, because I know her favourite dress is either the sleeveless floral one or the cute flowy one.

Jasmine shrugs and smiles a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “Brandon texted me saying he doesn’t want me wearing anything too revealing, since we’ll be out in public.”

What the fuck. “Brandon is telling you what to wear?”

“No. He’s just giving me some pointers on what not to wear!”

I stare at Jasmine, who is still smiling like she actually thinks this is fine. “Jasmine, that’s still shitty behavior. He doesn’t have the right to do that!”

She shrugs again. “It’s fine. I don’t mind! It narrows down my choices, and you know it’s hard for me to decide what to wear. Besides, I like these dresses too!”

“Jas.” I sigh. “Are you sure you wanna go out with this guy?”

Jasmine laughs, as if in disbelief. “What? Of course I do! It’s Brandon.”

“I just…” I’m definitely overstepping here, but I can’t stop myself. “I don’t get what you see in him.”

“Oh, well, you know. He’s handsome and funny and… popular and…” She trails off for a second before looking up at me. For once she isn’t smiling. “I just like him, okay? I’m sorry your standards are so impossibly high. I’ve never even seen you express interest in a guy!”

Is she kidding me right now? “I don’t…” Now it’s my turn to be speechless.

Jasmine sighs, like she is giving up on me, and picks up one of the dresses again. “I’ll just go with this one.”

I’m worried she will change in front of me like we did when we were younger, but she goes to the bathroom to change. Thank fuck; there’s only so much I can handle in one day.

When she comes back out, her brilliant smile is back. Her eyes look a little red, but it’s impossible to tell if it’s because she has been crying. I open my mouth to say something but before I can, she spins around to show off her dress.

“What do you think?”

“It’s nice.” It is nice, of course it is, that’s not the problem. The problem is, it isn’t the kind of thing I know Jasmine likes to wear. But this time, I don’t say anything.

She grabs a box of her nicest makeup stuff and sits on the bed. “Will you help me with my makeup?”

“You want my help with your makeup?” I let out a laugh. “Jas.” I know how to do makeup decently, but I never wear it, so I don’t have anything close to the kind of practice she has.

“Syd.” She laughs too. “It’ll be fun! Just like old times!”

That is true. When we were kids, Jasmine used to “borrow” her mom’s makeup, and we would take turns making each other look “beautiful”. It was a disaster, but the best kind.

“Alright,” I say. “But I hope Brandon won’t be upset when you show up to the date with lipstick smeared across your face like a clown.”

I sit down on the bed with her and help her pick out what I think would look good with her dress.

It goes smoothly, until I have to do her eyeliner.

“This is a bit tricky,” I say, moving closer. “Please don’t be mad if I do a bad job.”

“I’m sure you’re doing a great job, Syd.” She smiles with her eyes still closed.

“Stop talking, I’m trying to concentrate.”

By some miracle, I manage to make it look good and symmetrical. I’m actually kind of proud of myself. “Okay, you can open your eyes now.”

But I’m not prepared for when she actually does, and I realize how little space there suddenly is between us.

Our faces are so close I can smell her minty breath. Her eyes are locked with mine, and I have officially forgotten how to breathe. I think time might have stopped, just for us. And then, she fucking looks at my lips. There’s no mistaking it. She is looking right at my lips, with her own slightly parted.

And that’s when I make the stupid, idiotic, wonderful mistake of kissing her. Fucking hell, it may be a mistake but it’s the best one I’ve ever made. Her lips are so, so soft. Holy shit. Is this how I die? Am I actually going to die kissing Jasmine? I think I’m okay with that. I think that is how I want to go.

But before I even have time to register what a bad idea this is, she breaks the kiss and moves away from me on the bed. She is staring at me with a mix of shock and betrayal. Well, shit. She reaches up to touch her lips, like she can’t quite believe they were actually touching mine just a moment before. “Why would you do that?” she whispers, her brown eyes as puppy-like as ever. Though this time, it’s more like a puppy that has been kicked by its owner.

“I… I don’t know,” I choke out. “Fuck. Jasmine-”

She shakes her head and stands up abruptly. “I have to go.” Her voice is shaky. “My date is waiting.”

Fuck this shit. Fuck the universe and fuck Brandon and most of all, fuck me and my lack of impulse control.

I have successfully ruined everything. Yay. Not only have i completely screwed up my relationship with my only real friend, I have also probably ruined her date with the guy she likes.

At this point, all I can do about it is go outside and touch some grass. There is an old park in our neighborhood that no one visits anymore, and it’s the perfect place if you want to be alone with your misery and self-loathing. I guess you could say I come here often.

I sit down against the trunk of a tree and look up at the sky. It’s cloudy, but the kind of cloudy where the clouds look like bunnies and hearts and shit. I guess looking at clouds is a better use of my time than replaying the events of today over and over and hating myself more with every passing second.

I don’t even know how much time passes but suddenly, I feel another person close to me. I start, convinced I’m about to be murdered or kidnapped, but when I turn, I see Jasmine.

She sits down next to me and offers me a shaky smile. This time she definitely has been crying. She kinda still is.

I don’t know whether I should say something, so I just sit there and look at her. She looks down at her own hands, and doesn’t speak for a long time. I’m about to open my own cursed mouth, when she finally speaks.

“I’m so sorry, Syd.”

I stare at her, my brain not computing. “You’re sorry? What the hell do you have to be sorry for?”

“I was a total… a total dingus earlier!” If I didn’t feel so fucked right now, I would have smiled at Jasmine’s adorable inability to swear, maybe even gently teased her about it. But I don’t. I sit quietly as she continues: “I have been for years, haven’t I? Completely clueless.”

“What?” I don’t know what she is on about, but if she means clueless about my embarrassing crush on her, then yes, she has been. I can’t blame her, though. I mean, I did try to hide it, and for good reason.

“I left the date with Brandon early.”

I feel like an ass for it, but I’m happy to hear that. Not because I’m naive enough to think it means anything for me, but because Brandon is such a punchable fucking idiot, and definitely not good enough for Jasmine. “Oh,” is what I say. “Did you not have a good time?”

She finally looks at me. “I left because of you, Syd.”

Fuck. “Jasmine, I’m so fucking sorry. I never should’ve-”

“Stop,” she says, and I do. “I left because I realized you were right. I don’t like Brandon.” She lets out a shaky laugh. Her eyes are brimming with tears. “It probably shouldn’t have taken you kissing me to realize it, but… Yeah, well, I’m an idiot.”

My heart and brain seem to have made a collective decision to stop functioning. I stare at her, not sure if any of this is really happening. Maybe I’m misinterpreting what she is saying. Yeah, that seems like the only logical-

My half-panicked thoughts are cut off by Jasmine leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss to my lips. She is still teary-eyed, but she is also smiling softly as she moves close enough that our shoulders are touching. “I don’t think I even like guys at all,” she whispers. “And… well. I’m pretty sure I like you. A lot.”

She is looking at me expectantly, but I am stunned into silence. My brain short-circuited long ago and left me useless and unable to do anything other than stare at her in disbelief.

“Syd.” She nudges me with her shoulder. “Please say something, I am freaking out over here!”

“Shit. Yeah. Sorry.” I shake my head, slowly kicking myself back into action. “I like you a lot too. But I probably made that pretty obvious earlier, didn’t I?” I chuckle nervously, meeting her eyes. My heart is still going haywire, has been since she fucking kissed me. I don’t think I’ve fully processed that yet. “Sorry, this is… a lot.”

Jasmine grins. “Yeah, tell me about it. Twelve hours ago I thought I was the straightest person ever and that I liked Brandon? And now it turns out I’ve been a lesbian the whole time! God, that feels weird to say, but… Also like such a relief? Like part of me has known for way longer.”

I almost don’t have the courage to do it, but I reach out and take her hand. Our fingers interlock. When she puts her head on my shoulder, I almost start to tense up, out of habit I guess, but I tell myself to relax.

The moment feels so precious, so uniquely ours, that I’m afraid I’ll ruin it if I speak. So I close my eyes and savour the way Jasmine’s soft body is pressed against mine, and I pray that this moment never ends.

#full discloser: halfway thru writing this i realized it has a lot of similarities to the series 'i am not okay with this'#i promise no similarities are intentional!#original writing #queer fiction #lgbt fiction #short story #lesbian #lesbians #lgbtq+#writing #writeblr #queer #queer short story #comphet #wlw #i rly hope i didnt accidentally call brandon 'brad' somewhere in this asdfgh i did that while writing oops

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fandom-blackhole · 3 years

Note

Now that I have time and some motivation let's get down to business.

Paz also has tattoos for you,

One of your name in mando'a,

Second of the star constellation that you spotted on your trip, we love our wiccan king,

He'd 10000% be the guy to get his child's birth date tattooed,

Paz posting his precious doggo on instagram?,

Oh or Paz starting a culinary YouTube channel???,

And also showing his of the grid lifestyle?,

showing his animal rescue and promoting adoptions!,

He is buffy, handsome, funny, loves children and animals, dresses good and is the best chef, so there are many fanboys and fangirls in his comments thirsting over him,

When the comments asking if he is single get too overwhelming, he asks you to tune in for some vlogs,

You'd definitely film a mukbang video!!,

And also these crazy spicy noodle challenges,

Boba accidentally disliking all of Paz' videos?? (we are still onto tech-grandpa Boba? 😂),

You have to make sure that he doesn't post any pictures done by his hand,

He'd retweet funny clips of cats and cute pictures from Jango Investigation company's official profile,

Also him leaving embarrassing comments on your profile?

Or not knowing that there is function to dm you on instagram,

So he comments on your recent holiday trip picture ''you looked good in this swimsuit princess, shame on me I tore it apart'' or ''looking tempting babygirl, be ready, sir will be home soon'',

Din doesn't really care for sm?,

Like he used to be a casual user,

But one day people were flooding his comments and dms, spamming him with @pascalisapunk,

He noticed that you were watching youtube kids with Grogu,

(oh now I hope you will know what is going on) Grogu really likes watching cocomelon,

So Din tricked him to watching PewDiePie instead,

You don't like it tho, thinking these videos are too edgy and stupid for both of them,

''Din you've watched too many of these videos and you became a brain-rotten himbo I don't want the same to happen to our son!'',

Din and Grogu playing Minecraft together? 🥺,

Also Paz has the best town in Animal crossing for sure!,

Surprise, surprise Boba actually likes and knows how to(!!!) play Mafia game (well it's from 2002 so maybe that's why lol),

But he is the king of board games,

Especially Monopoly!!!

Also not to mention cars games,

He made you play strip poker with him 😳,

Paz and you doing a baby shower at his restaurant!!,

Imagine big daddy bear Paz with a little babygirl 😍😍😍, (Bummer that we don't have an official name for the Armorer, could be honored by Paz naming his baby after her 😭),

Grogu telling his friends at school that his daddy is also an actor lol,

Few days later bunch of 5 year olds are asking him if this is the way to the restroom, if he can bring in some hot chocolate, and doing the baby yoda batuu sound at him lol,

Poor Din, but he secretly loves it, he just loves children,

So imagine his combustion when you tell him that you are having a little Djarin 😍,

Paz helping with babyshower??,

And Boba is totally on buying you a new, bigger apartment as a gift lol,

''What, Djarin? Can't have my little nephew and favorite sister-in-law who is pregnant living in your excuse of an apartament'' lol Boba has no chill,

Grogu gets addicted to bubble tea,

And it isn't because of your introduction, you knew better not to let him drink too often,

But everyday, after coming back from the kindergarten Din and Grogu would stop by your favorite bubble tea shop,

Grogu totally wants a little brother!,

And Din is thinking about a little babygirl or better, why not both, or even better two little boys and a little girl and Grogu being their big bro 😍,

You better be ready for some intensive wrestling sessions,

You and Din have no idea why, but lately, he seems to cum A LOT MORE,

When Boba carries out the tradition you are pregnant,

Pregnant with twin boys,

And the look identical, like they were literally cloned 😉,

Boba wouldn't throw a huge babyshower,

He is too afraid after the incident involving you and the rival syndicate,

Actually Boba decided that you should move from the downtown, to live in a more low-key area,

So you are now living in a palace 😉 in the suburbs

Boba gets you a private driver and a bodyguard,

But most of the time he tries to drive you to work since you both have offices in the downtown area,

Your daily commute can get really pleasurable for both of you 😳,

Boba has his own shooting range lol, king of extra right?

One day when you were babysitting Grogu at your place you found out that Boba was teaching the kid about shooting,

You were furious,

''C'mon princess, haven't I told you about me and my father? He showed me how to use a gun when I was even younger than Grogu'',

Srsly, this man,

Giving him a death glare you take Grogu and treat him for some bubble tea

-🐣

Oh yeeesss let's get to business....

Paz's tattoos 😭😭😭 so cute (kind of reminds me of my dad, he has all of our names)

Paz totally has an Instagram dedicated to Ad'ika

Paz being thirsted after on his YouTube is so cute

But his followers also really ship the two of you, because you both are just couple goals

Paz makes you the cutest anniversary video and posts it to his YouTube

Paz is a total gamer, he absolutely loves Animal Crossing and he makes a whole section of his town dedicated to you

Paz throws the absolute cutest baby shower and anyone and everyone is invited

You both decide to wait until after the baby is born to find out the gender, and Paz has a raffle going on at the restaurant where people can guess the gender

Armorer = Amira? Amara? Andromeda??

He makes you both cute matching sweaters for your characters

Paz is the one that introduced Grogu to minecraft

Boba cause so much havoc on social media

He totally is leaving thirst comments under your pictures on Instagram not realizing everyone else can see them too

You have a Instagram set up for Fennec too because she is just so photogenic, at least when you take the pictures

I think Boba is actually pretty proficient at using Twitter, and its more or less because he uses it to stalk people 9/10

You have a tumblr where you tease and make fun of Boba, mostly posting quotes or the silly pictures that Boba takes

Boba totally dominates at any board game, but especially Monopoly

That game of strip poker did not last long at all, and you think Boba quite literally was hiding aces up his sleeves

Boba makes sure you are always thoroughly satisfied before he drops you off at work every morning

When Boba finds out you're pregnant he celebrates, and its huge

He starts going all out buying anything and everything he can/wants

When he finds out its twin boys he is over the moon

Names for the boys, Jango and Jaster? Rex and Cody??

Boba totally buys some big house outside of town, that has anything and everything you could ever ask for

It also has a panic room and state of the art safety because Boba isn't taking chances with you or the boys

Also, bringing the babysitting saga to the modern au 😭😭

You walk in on Boba handing Grogu a gun and you flip out, yelling at him

He just shrugs and you take Grogu away and say that your kids WILL N O T learn how to do any of that stuff until they are atleast teenagers

Boba pouts because you ruined his and Grogu's bonding time

When Din comes to pick up Grogu, Grogu looks him in the eye and says "cocksucker"

Din has a heart attack and Boba laughs as you yell at him asking where he heard that

Grogu says that he heard uncle Boba say it while on the phone

Din tries to follow Paz’s recipes from his YouTube, and it always turns out badly and you have to come in and save it

Din totally loves Pewdiepie's humor

Din gets frustrated with social media and ends up just making an empty account so he can follow you and watch videos, but after the whole Pedro Pascal disaster he never posts anything

Grogu and you are his profile picture though

When Grogu goes around telling the kids at school he is the mandalorian he just sighs

And when all of the kids start quoting the show, he just starts quoting them back so they will stop bothering him

When Din announced the pregnancy Paz got so excited to have another nephew/niece

Paz lets Din hold the baby shower at the restaurant and he makes all of the food, including little gender reveal cake pops

Paz gifts the two of you a photo album at has pictures of the two of you and grogu, but it is still half empty so you can add more memories of your expanding family

Boba just hands Din house keys a day says the place is paid off and he's covering the bills for the first year (he also had a nice play set built in the backyard for Grogu)

#🐣 anon #modern au #din djarin x reader #din x reader #boba fett x reader #boba x reader #paz vizsla x reader #paz x reader

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chocolate-parfait · 4 years

Note

Okay, I just got myself a tumblr account to ask for this Ikémen Vampire scenario, because the world needs this. Can you do one where the MC questions Mozart about his song "Leck mich im Arsch" (Ger. for "Kiss my ass" (lit. Lick me in the ass). I just can't imagine IkéVamp Mozart composing something like this so please be creative and do something funny. The song really exists btw. Real Mozart was a savage.

Started off serious, became trashy insults somewhere in the middle

Mozart being asked about his song “Kiss my ass” - ikevamp scenario (TW; mature language)

Thoughts are in italic

Bold AND italic is just me highlighting something

"Ugh, it hasn't even been a week and Sebastian is already burying me with work!" You mentally whined as you stretched your arms over your head. "Collect the sheets, wash the dishes, polish the shoes and wash the tablecloths..." each chore you listed made one of your fingers go up, and as the count reached ten you let out a deep sigh. You weren't even nowhere to be finished. "...ain't mama raise no weak bitch. Better get done with this before Sebastian yeets me into oblivion", you quietly spoke to yourself before going back to your full time slavery.

A lonely figure in the long corridor, you walked slightly bent forward for both the heaviness of the basket you were carrying and the mental and physical tiredness of your untrained body. As you took a turn at the end of the hallway, the lone sound of your footsteps found a companion. A sweet melody, a familiar one you had heard as a child, drifted through the air and waltzed its way to your ears. About ten meters from you there was the music room; you remembered it from Sebastian's tour of the house, but mostly because of the ever-so-friendly white haired composer that threatened you to stay kilometers away from him unless you wanted to be smacked to outer space. You had every intention of listening to him and avoiding any type of unnecessary contact with the man, but right now an irresistible curiosity pushed your feet to the prohibited door.

Was he composing something? Would he let you listen to one piece of his or play a modern-time song if you begged hard enough? somebody come git her she's dancing like a stripper If getting on your knees and throwing the last ounce of dignity you still had out of the window meant getting to witness Mozart's genius with your own two eyes --an impassable opportunity, too taunting to be ignored-- then someone better had to open up their purse and buy you some protective knee pads, 'cause ya girl was ready to crawl all around the mansion to get that P iano performance.

Inhaling some well needed air to get oxygen to your already malfunctioning brain in preparation of what was to come, you left the heavy basket full of dirty laundry and responsibilities behind and gently pushed the door open while peeking in with your head through the opening. As soon as he felt a pair of eyes on his back, Mozart abruptly stopped his magical fingers to turn to you, face contorted in an annoyed grimace.

Mozart: what.

MC: I- uh- uhm,,,, uhhhh- I... um

"Great job, chicken brain. The hero I absolutely didn't need right now"

Mozart: "I- uh- uhm,,,, uhhhh- I... um"...? I understand 15 languages and troglodyte isn't one of them. If you have nothing to say then leave.

MC: wait I-

Mozart: you didn't even knock. Are you really that impolite or did you grow up in a cave or something?

It hadn't even been 30 seconds and you had already been owned so hard not even a burnt Thanksgiving turkey could compare to this level of roasting, but there was no way in hell you were going to give up just for some edgy frail-looking man spouting some insults at you. You could probably smash him to the ground if you wanted, maybe... actually it would probably end with him snapping your neck like a twig, but at least the will to punch him was there.

You were ready to talk back with a savage comeback of your own, but before your mind could send the input to your mouth, his curt tone cut you off.

Mozart: Staring at people is a normal thing for future people? Makes me pity mankind. Get out.

...as kind as ever, the pianist! Kinda makes you want to kick him in the shins but you kept that thought to yourself.

As you were about to leave, two pair of footsteps got nearer to you from the corridor. Turning your head to the side you saw the clown duo making its way to the room, and you knew they were the ones who could provide you with the perfect chance to either succeed in your intent or bring you to a violent death.

Arthur: Oh my, what's happening in here? Is our wolfie making a move on our lovely MC before I can ask her out on a date myself?

Dazai: Good evening, Toshiko-san! Is something the matter?

And if this was your only opportunity, then you were going to use all your cards from the beginning. Mustering the best puppy eyes you could manage, you turned to the couple, and with a slightly whiny tone that resembled a half plea for help, you said:

MC: Ah, Arthur, Dazai-san! I just wanted to ask Mozart if I could listen to him playing the piano but he did nothing but be mean to me the whole time! I didn't even speak a word and he's already told me to leave twice~

Mozart: Which you didn't. So now I'm telling you a third time, leck mich. (=bug off)

Catching your subtle hint and feeling in the right mood to mess with the other fellow vampire, they decided to fan the flames of his annoyance by bringing in the discussion that one thing they knew he abhorred talking about.

Arthur: "Leck mich"? Why, Wolfie, you surprise me! You really haven't changed from your youth days, haven't you? My dear MC, did you know that the genius pianist here wrote a song called "Leck mich im Arsch"? A song about licking bums!

Dazai: Buttholes!

Arthur: Arseholes!

Dazai: Bungholes!

This was NOT the type of conversation you would've expected to have in a house full of historically important figures of such caliber, and foremost you were so close to bursting into a raging fit of laughter that only the scary aura of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart was preventing you to do so. Despite the amusement you were worried the vein on his temple would explode and show you something you did not sign up for.

Mozart: Haven't I already told you not to bring that up?

Dazai: My, what a chilling smile, Wolfie-kun! Keep that up and you'll scare all the ladies away~

MC: pft——— what ladies?

Mozart: What are you laughing about, dumbass

Arthur: Woah, woah, woah! That's not the proper way to speak to a lady, Mozie! Bad wolf, bad!

Mozart: Did you take me for a dog, you four eyed caveman?

The more the snow white haired man was filled with rage, the more the situation escalated into something even more ridiculous , so much that in the midst of it you didn't even mind the recent insult.

But something was nagging you at the back of your mind. Why did someone as much as a clean freak as him write a song about licking ass? Though you realized Arthur probably gave you the literal translation just to be more direct about his bullying, you guessed it still was something pretty vulgar for someone like him. although you had to admit that the gracious idea you had of him crumbled away the second he opened his mouth

MC: I would've never expected someone like you to write such a song...

Mozart: What are you talking about?

MC: Uhm, you know, you're pretty neat, you don't let anyone touch your piano because of their 'filthy hands'... a piece about butts is a bit...

Mozart: I was still young at the time. My humor used to be different from now, people change in the span of 100 years, you know?

Arthur: Sense of humor? I wasn't aware you had one!

Mozart: Ahahah, so very funny, you stupid tratschtante (=gossip aunt)

Dazai: Maa maa (=now, now ; ara ara maa maa), I don't think the song is that out of character. After all, "licking butts" still has the idea of cleaning something, doesn't it?

Everyone: ...

Arthur: ...That was a bit too much

MC: Yeah, it was.

Mozart: Disgusting. This is why I dont like you people

MC: Wait, so can I listen to-

Mozart: Scram. All of you.

#my writing #answered #ikemen vampire #ikevamp scenarios #ikevamp headcanons #ikevamp imagines #ikevamp mozart #Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

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c-c-cherry · 4 years

Text

Part Four Headcanons!!

@tyriantyrant Father...I’m so sorry this took so long...but it is finally here. The moment has come.

@jjadegreen is and always will be my headcanon buddy and she really took the reins on this one because my stupid mushy brain could barely think of ANYTHING. Go check her out. She makes good shit. If you like headcanons you’ll love her.

Without further ado, join us on this long-awaited half-crack half-serious journey once more:

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

Okuyasu

-He swallowed a spoon. Like...one of those tiny collector spoons...

-Don’t ask me how Okuyasu managed to do this, but he did.

-He was sitting in his room trying to think of something cool he could do in front of Josuke and he was like

”Bro what if I did some kickass spoon trick” (Yes, he did find a little collector’s spoon at an antique shop and bought it cause it was shiny)

-It did not go well

-He choked on it for like a solid 2 minutes before he FUCKING SWALLOWED IT and sat there for 15 minutes like “oh shit oh fuck-”

-His dad was just watching from the corner like ;-;

-At first he’s like “ahh it’ll be fine, right?”

-”Right?”

-Then he starts thinking about it a bit more and realizes how fucked he probably is

-He COULD call Josuke but he really doesn’t want to explain to him that he not only swallowed a tiny fucking spoon but he also did it while simultaneously trying to think of something cool to do in front of him

-So he doesn’t call Josuke

-Instead he paces around, trying to think of some solution:

Can I throw it back up or something?

Should I like...drink that stuff that makes metal dissolve? That’ll work, right? Shit wait-

Maybe it’ll just turn out okay?

-His chest is on FIRE and he’s absolutely convinced that this is the end for him

-He calls Josuke

-There are tears...many tears

-Our boy Josuke rushes over and starts freaking out because all he knows is “Oku’s hurt” and when he bursts through the door Okuyasu’s just sitting on the couch crying and Josuke’s just “???”

-He’s the most supportive bro tho and sits down on the couch and is like “oh shit bro did you need emotional healing instead? I gotchu either way” :’)

-He reaches over to hug him and Oku jumps back in a panic and screams “NO DUDE DON’T JOSTLE THE SPOON”

”...”

“..the spoon?”

-He tearily explains the spoon

-It ends with Josuke punching the spoon out of him with Crazy Diamond but he found the entire situation so fucking funny because Oku is so fucking mortified

-he swore not to tell a soul and keeps to his word but he buys Oku a tiny spoon every goddamn chance he gets

Rohan

-Most of the time, Rohan does not embarrass himself

-But sometimes our man slips up a bit and most of the time people don’t notice the dumb shit he does cause he’s always doing dumb shit

-But this is different

-Picture an almost empty house...instant ramen wrappers everywhere...alcohol has been consumed…things have been done...

-Rohan thought this was the best time to answer some of his fan’s FAQ’s (he puts them at the end of every new issue)

-He answers most of them fine but once he comes to the “how tall are you?” question his mushy stupid brain decides to put “about ten inches.” (GOD I'M BEGGING YOU IF YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS REFERENCE OPEN GOOGLE AND LOOK UP “how tall is Rohan Kishibe?” PLEASE PLEASE I BEG)

-Just for fun

-Because his editor will just fix it, won’t they? Even if he wakes up the next morning and forgets about it, it could never get past the other stages of publishing, right?

-Wrong.

-It manages to slip past every single stage and before he knows it, the latest issue is out and it says he’s almost a foot tall

-He’s reading the one of the newly published copies at breakfast and SPITS OUT HIS FUCKING LUKEWARM SHITTY TEA

-He calls his publisher and just like “uhhh...hey...what the actual fuck guys?” and apparently NONE Of THEM NOTICED??

-They swipe them off the shelves and re-edit them but by now its far too late

-Josuke and Okuyasu have already made jokes about squishing him

-He gets fanart of him being the size of a pencil (which he’s convinced are also done by Josuke and Okuyasu)

-The banned issue where Rohan discloses his supposed “true height” is a novelty collectors item in the manga community now

-This is Rohan’s legacy now. This is how he will be remembered

Josuke

-He wanted to be super edgy when he was around 14

-And what better way to be an edgy 14 year old than with cigarettes??

-The problem is that he’s a literal fucking dumbass and doesn’t know how they work

-Like at all

-He somehow gets his hands on a pack and tries to do it in front of his friends to impress them

-He doesn’t light it. He just...sucks on it??

-He sucks really hard on the unlit cigarette while all of his friends watch and there’s this really long silence and all of them are thinking “yeah is this actually how it works though?”

-Josuke’s like “waitwaitwait I can make smoke come out of it watch” and sucks way too hard on it and IT GETS LODGED IN HIS FUCKING WINDPIPE

-He starts choking because he really really, doesn’t wanna swallow this thing and all of his friends are like “OH SHIT SHIT”

-There’s always that one homie who knows the Heimlich maneuver and on that day, the Heimlich is maneuvered.

-He coughs up a wet cigarette covered in nasty throat juices and his mouth tastes like shit

-He’s still totally shocked about what just happened and just kinda starts laughing but everyone can tell that its forced

-Everyone forgets about it and he’s too embarrassed to tell a soul but the Heimlich kid and him make eye contact in the hallways sometimes and he’s always reminded of that fateful day

-This is the soul reason why Josuke never smoked in high school and probably never will again

Koichi

-This might seem off topic to start but please just bear with me.

-why, for any reason, does Koichi know who joseph is??? Joseph is an American Real Estate agent. Why would a 15 year old Japanese kid be like “oh yeah that famous real estate agent Joseph Joestar”???

-well I present to you the most top tier headcanon: Koichi is a real estate fanboy.

-he planned to be a real estate agent before getting wrapped up into stand shenanigans

-But, being 15 and having REAL ESTATE as one of your biggest interests is not something you really want people knowing, especially considering the fact Koichi is a huge nerdy real estate fanboy for Josuke’s DAD.

-He buys these real estate magazines made for 45 year old men like once a week. They are what he looks forward to every week.

-one time Josuke and Oku come visit and see a magazine on Koichi's bed.

-He totally panics and dives for the magazine and tries to hide it, acting all nervous.

-Josuke and Oku immediately assume it’s a… y’know, NSFW, not for kids magazine.

-Because why would koichi need to be embarrassed about any other kind of magazine?

-So antics ensue of Josuke and Oku pestering koichi about the magazine, teasing him and begging to know what he was hiding

-after a few days, Koichi begrudgingly admits that the magazine is the “SPECIAL JOSEPH JOESTAR INTERVIEW ISSUE” which he bought 3 years ago and has reread countless times.

-Okuyasu laughs really hard and Josuke is like “...you mean my dad.....” and koichi wants to DIE

-They buy him real estate merchandise for his 16th birthday and EVERYONE thinks it’s some kind of joke gift but koichi is internally grateful

Jotaro

-Jotaro is not very good during social situations. That is very obvious.

-but when he hears that Koichi got a girlfriend, he decides he wants to be a cool…uncle? Nephew? Father figure? Mentor?

-so one day, Koichi and Jotaro are chatting while they go on a walk and Yukako walks by

-Koichi blushes and waves at her, she waves too

-Jotaro thinks, ‘alright. Time to show koichi I’m a cool guy’

-as Yukako walks away, Jotaro nudges koichi and sorta smirks

-Jotaro forget a few very important things about himself and Koichi:

-first of all, Koichi is so short, attempting to nudge the kid ended in Jotaro violently jabbing his elbow into Koichi’s skull

-Jotaro is much stronger than he thinks and Koichi, while he can take a hit, is very much weaker than Jotaro

-so an attempt at a simple nudge ends in Koichi being jabbed in the skull, flung into the road by the force of the hit, and hitting his head, hard, on the cement.

-needless to say Jotaro called and ambulance and Yukako tried to literally murder Jotaro

-He ended up with a mild concussion, but no long term damage.

-Jotaro is Not Good At Words so he apologizes in weird awkward ways like buying koichi stuff, quietly handing him 5,000 yen at random times, taking him out on the town, etc...

-Koichi keeps insisting it was an accident and he’s alright, but Jotaro feels AWFUL

-He NEVER lives that moment down in his mind

-It’ll be 2008 and Jotaro is visiting and he’ll just look the newly married koichi in his tiny eyes and say “hmhghggggg is your head ok”

-and koichi is like “IT WAS 9 YEARS AGO MR JOTARO PLEASE”

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

That was a wild ride I’m so sorry

Did ya’ll have a favourite? I gotta say, real estate Koichi is just...Jade, thank you for that...

Have you seen our embarrassing part 5 headcanons yet? If not, go check that out!

#jojos's bizarre adventure #diamond is unbreakable #diu #jjba #josuke higashikata #okuyasu nijimura #koichi hirose #jotaro kujo #4taro #joseph joestar #rohan kishibe #headcanons #headcanon #jjba headcanons #crack #crack treated seriously #kinda #ask-c-c-cherry

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bluegarners · 3 years

Note

Who are your fav dc chracters? Why?

Hey, thank you for the ask! You're very interactive :)

I think it's pretty clear who I'm into based off of what I post: mainly Dick Grayson/Nightwing and the rest of the Batfam. I've loved Batman since I was young, and since I wasn't exposed to much comic material, I grew up with looking at posters and watching the Dark Knight trilogy and other animated movies as my main source of material to base my favoritism off of. My obsession with Batman became sort of a joke in my family, as they would get me things like ornanments and funny cards with the caped crusader on them.

But honestly? I have no idea why I liked him so much when I was younger. Looking back, I'm 70% confident it was because I had this weird hate boner for Superman and I was in this darker edgy phase, so sunshine and rainbows wasn't my thing. Batman brought out that more gruesome, edgy, and gritty aspect of superheroes that I really liked; up until I turned about 13, I had no idea most superheroes came to be from tragic backstories, and I think we can all agree Batman's is one of the mos popular, so that's why I originally thought his story was the most intriguing. From my pea brain sized mind many years back, I saw Superman as this overpowered (which he still is), happy, and kind of stupid superhero where he always saved the day, everybody loved him, and was just this ray of light and smiles. I wanted to be "not like other girls" and developed a weird hate for Superman (I don't anymore, just to clarify, I freakin love Sups now) and an obsession for all things Batman.

Now that I have more material and the internet to research and learn more about DC characters, Dick Grayson has come to be my favorite hero. Since I've gotten over my edgy phase and my strange anger for Superman, I see Dick as a mixture of both. He's the quintessential hero in my eyes, and because he's one of the oldest superheroes created by DC (meaning been around the longest) there's so much history and lore about him and his connections to others.

I watched Teen Titans and Young Justice growing up, and those were my main source material for who Dick Grayson was as a person and as Robin. TT Robin was edgy in a way that made you realize that this wasn't a game for him and that he isn't always this happy and smiling leader. Actually, TT Robin had some serious issues that I feel like don't get talked about a lot, but that's for another day. TT was also the set up for my immense apprecition for Dick/Kory. Freakin love them as fumbling teenagers in cartoon, and love them as sensible adults in the comics. Not going to lie, I had the fattest crush on YJ Robin/Nightwing; he could literally do everything and was so cool under pressure. YJ did a good job of showing how intelligent and gifted Dick was, whilst also showing his stuggle of living up to the Batman mantle and how much pressure he was constantly under to perform with perfection. YJ was also where I fell in love with the couple of Wally West/Artemis Crock. Wally was hilariously goofy, and an awesome boyfriend in s2. Artemis was a badass who used archery as her main fighting style, and it was so wonderful to see an asian on screen. I myself am asian and dabble in archery, so I felt a connection of sorts to her character.

There was also the Justice League cartoon, which aired in 2001, and I'll say this right now: if you have not watched it, please, please, please go watch it. It really gets in depth with its characters and makes them feel real and not just 2D people on screen. It introduced me to a likeable Wonder Woman (I still have issues with her in other forms of media, as I feel like DC has done the same thing to her as Marvel has done to Carol Danvers) and made me like the calmer, less depressed Batman. The Batman in JLA was willing to talk things out, and the interactions between characters was superb.

All in all, I'd say my top favorite characters are Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne, Wally West, and Kory/Starfire.

#Dick Grayson #Nightwing #Batman #Bruce Wayne #Wally West #koryand'r #Justice League #Teen Titans #Young Justice #Superman #Flash #Artemis Crock #Clark Kent

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thrillridesz · 4 years

Note

saw this around and i was wondering if you could assign your mutuals w a tbz song each?

Hi! Sure, of course ^^ I’ve seen this around too and fair warning... this post is LOOONNGGG so I’ve placed a ‘keep reading’ tab!

Also I’m really sorry if we’re mutuals and your name isn’t here >< I might be forgetting some maybe because we haven’t been talking..? but honestly if you want me to assign you a tbz song privately, just dm me 💙

@chaoticdeobi - Giddy Up

ok so bea is honestly a ray of sunshine wherever she goes and she’s one of the few people that I’ve really really gotten close to here on tumblr >< talking to her feels so easy, fun and comfortable which is exactly how I feel when I listen to giddy up! It’s upbeat like she is and the positive vibes that radiate from them is insane 🌟

@atbzkingdom - Tattoo

Tattoo is deep and meaningful and so is Dee. She’s the one I turn to for advice and I look up to her a lot! She’s the sane one of the chaotic idiots LMAO and I think tattoo just really suits her aura as well as grace 🖤 ily dee

@heartyyjeno - Bloom Bloom

I’ve once said alesha reminds me of Eric and I still stand by that ^^ bloom bloom is a song that encompass youthful radiance and excitement and I believe that’s Alesha to a T. This girl is just a huge ball of floof and uwuness that I just wanna squish her cheeks sometimes 😆

@experimentalwrites - Whiplash

talking to nabi feels like I’m talking to a close friend even though we haven’t been mutuals for long. There’s just something about her that makes me feel really safe and just content around her? It’s the exact feeling I get from listening to whiplash 😊

@sankyeom - Spring Snow

belle to me seems really intimidating at first and almost untouchable. but once I started talking to her, I realise that her presence is just so soothing? she’s the sort of friend that you can talk about the things that are most dear to your heart and she’d listen intently and you know that you can trust her. shes gentle and subtle but makes a deep impact, like Spring Snow ✨

@moondustaeil - Ego

this is surprising even for me but after much thought, I still think amber would do well being paired with Ego. she’s straightforward and tells it like it is which is honestly very refreshing to see. she’s like an older sister to me but like the super cool, edgy sister I’ll never live up to lol 😂 but yes ego has the same edge to me hence the pairing!

@thepixelelf - Checkmate

checkmate is a song that screams boss lady and fierceness which are terms I associate with casey. she has such boss like vibes that I’m sometimes a little afraid to approach her but at the same time, i admire her for how woke and down to earth she is. A true queen 👑

@mae-gi-writes - Clover

mae strikes me as someone who is very driven and ethusiastic! the vibes that Clover has is the same so tbh this was a little of a no brainer HAHA its clean, catchy beat suits her aura as well! ⭐️

@aniyawoos - Shine Shine

when I listen to Shine Shine, I think of yu. It’s has this effortlessly sexc beat to it that also screams deep, velvety maturity that yu has as well! It’s a beat that really makes me feel really powerful and when I think of powerful and dynamic, yu comes into mind hence the pairing 💗

@badwithten - Stupid Sorry

stupid sorry is one of my favourite tbz songs EVER >< I paired zoe with stupid sorry because of how seemingly unassuming but inexplicably meaningful and cute the track is which is the impression I have of her as well 💞

@lovely-kpop-writer - DDD

crazy yet fun and so full of liveliness... That’s Jasmine! I listen to DDD whenever I wanna feel hyped and that’s why I think my brain subconsciously links jasmine to ddd because talking to jasmine even if it’s just over asks is extremely invigorating ❤️

@tidalstorm - Scar

scar is SUCH AN INTENSE AND HOT SONG OMFG it’s got this sexc dark vibe that I feel like always associate with amal as well >< Amal and Scar has this really dominant aura to them and I’m like if scar as a song was a person, Amal and Scar can kick me in the gut and I’d thank them ( too weird? I’m sorry but it’s the best way I can put it lol ) 👀

@blushwoo - The Stealer

honestly, this song is so sexc yet so cute at the same time imo like the concept?? but with that theme?? bruhh talk about a paradox lol tbh anie gives me that very same feeling! like before I got to know her, I thought she was just this really soft, cute mutual but when I really started talking to her, she’s actually surprisingly intense in a good way 😳

@jacobies - Boy

boy is just such a classic yet sensational song and to me, it forever represents the og. dani seems that way to me and honestly in a way even though we’ve never actually talked, I feel like her blog is one of those that laid a foundation to deobi tumblr and she has really brought so many deobis tgt with her deobiccbattle among other things. I look up to her a lot 💕

@aethalen - Reveal

ailea just seems so classy and out of league sometimes! I paired her with Reveal because of the mature and sophisticated vibe that the both of them simply exude... tbh talking to ailea ( on that one occasion lmao can we talk more >< ) I felt like was talking to an idol 🖤

@ukiyoexo - Insanity

i feel like i didn’t think i would pair emma with insanity but honestly, i feel like it’s kinda fitting! emma gives off a very edgy, badass vibe which made me really inclined to pair her with ego at first but after thinking it through, i think insanity’s unique beat suits her more? it’s not as intense as say ego or scar but it still has that very strong, powerful vibe to it 💫

@2hyunjae - Salty

salty is such a classic song and also one of my favs XD it’s just like luna - soft yet fun, intimidating yet so gentle... it’s a song that really grows on you and you feel warm listening to it just like how I feel warmth in my own heart when I see her posts on my dash 💘

@uwu0clock - Wings

we don’t really talk a lot but idk why when I thought of L, I think of Wings! Seeing her on my dash feels very familiar and whenever we do talk, I enjoy all of our conversations ^^ there’s something about them that is so wholesome, just like the vibes from Wings 💓

@fairyoftbz - Break your rules

I’ve never actually had a real conversation with soph but she’s always a joy to see in the collab discord chat ^^ her presence is subtle but it sure is calming and from what I know, she seems like a pretty chill and friendly mutual! 🧡

@jyeonvoir - Goodbye

elsie I’ve said before gives me regal, royalty vibes like that of a queen. I know you probably don’t expect me to pair you with Goodbye but hear me out lol that song is just so iconic?? the smooth ballad instantly makes me feel so comforted whenever I listen to it and it’s the exact same way when I’m interacting with elsie. Ily tumblr big sis 💖

@minfuwa - No Air

no air has such senpai vibes, don’t @ me for this HAHA I haven’t really talked to fuwa much lately but I still see her around and it strangely feels like you know how you watch animes and the protagonist girl is always so shy around the senpai? Yeah that’s kind of me at fuwa and I think it’s because she has this regal vibe to her like elsie and that since no air is such a masterpiece like all her works... this pairing goes without saying 😋

@fluffytbz - Daydream

just like daydream, rosie is an absolute dream as well lmao ( too corny? Sorry I’ll stop ) but fr tho... although we haven’t talked in awhile, I always remembered how lovely and friendly she was to me when we first started talking and when I thought of daydream, I thought of her too because of its sweet melody 💝

@tbzwurld - 4Ever

I think I’ve mentioned that I’ve felt intimidated by bee before >< but I feel like when I got to know her for a bit, she’s actually rly friendly yet there’s a certain fiery spark in her that I’m getting for some reasons? Like 4Ever, it has a very casual beat to it but there’s a little oomph to it that you can’t put your finger on but know it’s there 😉

@sunwuism - Right here

I haven’t actually had a full conversation with neha yet but she just seems so sweet and lovely! Right here is a song I associate those terms with so it felt natural to pair her with it 💛

@todeobi - Water

water is one of those songs that has a pretty sweet, endearing feel to it like the vibes that gus gives me and from my conversation with her, she seems super nice to talk to and just hang around! she’s so awkwardly cute that i just wanna hug her sometimes HAHA ❣️

#ask games #lovely moots #qiu.txt

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danyka-fendyr · 4 years

Text

Absence of Good - 10

Chapter 10: 126 Kisses

Alright everybody I’m back! Finals are over and I’m officially free to write as much as I want until I can get a job. Hopefully that will be soon, but it’s not looking great. This chapter things sort of slow down and our heroes get the chance to relax for a minute. I figured they deserved it after their last case. Also this is just really fun for me.

Taglist: @dreamwritesimagines @rhabakoli @alwaysadreamingoptimist

AoG Taglist: @pancakefancake @prettyboyspenerrr @youreasnack @alioop3818 @newtslatte @rathersuspiciousbumblebee @andiebeaword @stalker83005 @lotties-journey-abroad

Wordcount: 2.5k

Warnings: None! This is all fluff. If you aren’t scared of a little making out, you’re safe here.

“The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.” ― Jane Austen

Trying to decide what your favorite thing about Spencer was was like trying to decide what flavor to pick at a Baskin-Robbins in hell, the options stretching to infinity. His lips, his brain, his hair, his really terrible but also really cute jokes, his hands, his magic tricks. There were a lot of options. There were so many options.

Right now though, the lips were taking it in a landslide.

“Do you really think,” you gasped, “that now is a good time for this?”

Spencer didn’t look up from where he was diligently making his way down your neck, fingers tracing little circles into the space of skin between your blouse and your slacks. You were in a supply closet, which felt very, extremely, incredibly high school, although admittedly you had never actually done anything that edgy in high school. That being said, if you were going to act like high schoolers you thought making out in a library was a much sexier choice and should probably involve fewer mops.

“Can’t wait,” he mumbled, pulling you just that little bit closer to him.

“Can’t wait 30 minutes till we’re off the clock?”

You laughed at him, but he swallowed it with a kiss, making you far too breathless to laugh anymore.

“This is our first full day of work back since the case where I didn’t see you for a full week. Perhaps you’ve forgotten, but I forget nothing, and I remember every. Agonizing. Moment.” He punctuated the words with kisses.

“I remember,” you breathed out, kissing the corner of his mouth. “I also remember that despite that, we like our jobs. We would like to keep our jobs. Which is why this is a bad idea.”

You stepped away, disentangling yourself with more restraint than you had probably ever exercised before. 30 minutes. 30 more minutes of paperwork. 30 more minutes of explaining to some desk jockey how to put a man in handcuffs. Then you were free.

You gave him one last kiss, just as a reward for the fact that you were miraculously managing to walk away from this.

“Meet me at the library after work.”

You reasoned you deserved to indulge your childish fantasies if you were going to be a responsible adult right now.

Before he could kiss you again and make you rethink your decision, you slipped out of the supply closet, straightening your shirt as you went. You stopped to check your appearance in the bathroom mirror, touched up your lipstick a little, then went back to work hoping nobody would notice your pupils were still dilated. The only person truly likely to notice that, however, was Spencer, and you didn’t have to worry about him. All you had to worry about were these forms.

The next half hour of your life was grueling. You had been literally tortured before and somehow, this seemed worse than that. You would have said it was impossible for anything to be worse than that, but now you knew better. It was simply improbable.

Finally, it ended. You let Spencer leave first, because clearly you were the one showing restraint today. He booked it out of the building, but you, on the other hand, took your time packing up. Stopped to chat with Emily, figuring she would be a safe bet considering she was either oblivious to your relationship or just so good at hiding her emotions she would never give away knowledge of it. You valued that in her as a friend. Her ability to not call you on your blatant lies when she knew the truth was better kept a secret.

You kept the conversation brief and lighthearted, and soon you were out the door too. You were aware Spencer knew your favorite library because he had confessed to you that the moment he knew he was in love with you was when you told him you even had a favorite library and that it was your happy place. You couldn’t help the fact that not only was it superior to all other libraries, but it was also superior to all other locations in general.

You wasted no time getting inside once you were there, scanning the shelves for him, and…there he was, freaking out some librarians with the speed at which he was reading. Was that the book you thought it was?

“Is that my favorite book?”

Spencer looked up, face forming a smile before his eyes even registered that it was you who had approached him.

“Yeah. You mentioned you liked it so I thought I should read it.”

“I think you’re concerning the librarians, my love. You’re going to put them out of a job.”

He blushed, and you assumed he was feigning modesty, but he quickly made the real reason for his sudden intense interest in the same page clear.

“My love?” His voice cracked softly. “We use nicknames now?”

Your face turned shades to match his. “Only if you want to.”

Wow, the books were fascinating. In fact, you could stare at them all day. Just look at bindings and never move or speak again ever for the rest of your life.

“Yeah, I do. I think it’s cute. Sweetheart.”

You stared down at your shoes, toes curling inside of them. Something about the way he said it made you go all melty inside. You definitely liked that.

“Okay, well,” you said, clearing your throat. “Considering you’re about 75% of the way through the greatest novel of all time, I have to ask. What do you think?”

“Well, I’ll admit it’s not my usual taste, but the author is certainly talented. I mean, the parallelism between certain characters, the perfect use of narrative tension, it’s all very well done. You have excellent taste.”

“And you’re not just lying because you like making out with me?” You teased.

“Well I do like making out with you.” Spencer grinned slyly. “But no. I never lie about books. Literature is sacred.”

“Agreed.” You nodded.

“That being said, I hardly think this counts as a holy place,” Spencer said, his voice dipping lower so that only you could hear, “so I think we can defile it guilt free.”

You were about to agree when you caught sight of the new arrivals shelf over his shoulder.

“Oh my gosh I’ve been trying to get my hands on that forever but I was too cheap to buy it!”

You shove past him, disregarding any apologies that might have been necessary. Not that he would require them. He had been ignoring you for books for the past week. He totally owed you.

“Can I read it first?” He asked, just as fascinated.

“Absolutely not.”

“But I’ll read it faster!”

“You’re not even done with the book you have now, slowpoke. Catch up with the big kids then you can read.”

You snatched the book of the shelf, holding it close to your chest. Spencer, meanwhile, appeared to have finished the book. You really hated him sometimes.

“Done. Now can I read it first?” He raised an eyebrow at you in challenge.

“Fine. But you owe me 126 kisses.”

“I’ll remember that.”

You snorted, not taking him literally as he took the book out of your hands and you paused to admire the architecture. Part of the reason this library was your favorite was that it was multiple stories. Books upon books not only stacked over shelves but over floors of a building. Multiple stories in multiple stories, if you wanted to be witty about it. The large glass windows in the front allowed plenty of light in, and you liked to bathe in sun pools while curled up with your books. You never liked to just be in and out of a library. One had to take time to bask in a library, to appreciate its unique atmosphere, to perhaps soak up the knowledge of its books through osmosis. Libraries were both underappreciated and important.

“Can you walk and read at the same time?” You asked.

“Of course I can, what kind of question is that?”

“Then follow me. I’m taking you to my favorite reading nook.”

You wound up the stairs, Spencer in tow, hardly glancing up from the book to see where he was going. You wondered if his genius brain came with hyperdeveloped peripheral vision.

The sun dappled blue carpet of the steps lead you to the second floor, coming to a spiraling stop across the room from your favorite spot. You made a bee line for it, sinking down into the plush curve of the couch. It wasn’t particularly busy on this floor of the library at this time of night, since this was where they kept most of the more obscure research literature. This floor was more geared towards the serious scholars, while the first floor was designed for university students and casual readers. You enjoyed all three categories of reading, yet another reason this location was so optimal.

“C’mon.”

You gestured for Spencer to join you, and he easily flopped down next to you, leaning into your side. He looped an arm around you, passing you the book with his free hand.

“Done?” You asked.

“Done,” he confirmed. “It’s kind of dead in here, isn’t it?”

“This is their slow day. We’re almost guaranteed not to be interrupted up here right now. Part of why I like it. I like to read in peace. There’s probably some research papers up here you’d like.”

You idly flipped open the pages of the book, ready to relax and read for an hour or two. Spencer had other ideas though.

“Guaranteed not to be interrupted, huh?” He said, nose slipping into your hair as he whispered the words low in your ear.

“Baby, I’m trying to read,” you whined.

That was the wrong choice of words. His hand slipped from your shoulder to your waist, pivoting you to face him as his fingers dug into the soft flesh that curved over your obliques.

“Have I mentioned that I really love the nicknames?”

He didn’t give you a chance to answer before his mouth was on yours, and you were abruptly incapable of rational thought. No unsubs, no paper filing, and certainly no books. The room could have been on fire and you probably wouldn’t have noticed seeing as it already felt like you were on fire with the warm skim of his hands against your skin.

“Maybe I should have just taken you home,” he said, already a little breathless. “As nice as this couch is, yours is more comfortable, and you look very good in a t-shirt.”

“And jeans?”

A mindless comment, a meaningless clarification as your head spun.

“No. No jeans.”

He went back to your throat, which seemed to be his favorite spot. You inhaled sharply, fingers curling into the hair at the nape of his neck.

“Besides, I still owe you 126 kisses.” You felt him smile into your skin saying it.

Oh, he was enjoying himself entirely too much.

Still, you couldn’t stop yourself from saying, “Yes, please.”

You heard him muttering under his breath as he kissed your neck, and your brows furrowed in confusion. After a moment, you realized. He was counting. You would have laughed if it wasn’t actually a little bit sexy.

Were you actually going to do this? Were you seriously making out with your boyfriend in a library? A public library, no less? The answer was no, and not because you didn’t want to.

A librarian hovered one shelf away, looking like she really didn’t want to have to come interrupt you but would if you continued. You sighed, pulling away from Spencer.

“I was wrong earlier. We are officially being interrupted. Let’s leave before we terrorize the poor librarians any further, shall we?”

You couldn’t hide your slight disappointment. It had been a long day and you deserved 126 kisses from your boyfriend. Alas, it was not to be.

Spencer was undaunted. “Guess this means I get to take you back to your place.”

“Guess it does,” you said, leading the charge back downstairs.

You ran your library card, checking out the book, before breezing out the door. You knew Spencer had walked here just like you knew he typically took the subway to work. Just as well. Meant you wouldn’t have to be separated on the drive back to your house.

“By the way, I’m investing in some t-shirts for you,” you said as you climbed into the driver’s side of your car.

He followed, sitting passenger side.

“Is there something wrong with my shirts?” Spencer frowned slightly.

“No, of course not. I love the way you dress. However, I want some oversized t-shirts.”

“I’m not following,” he said.

“It’s simple. I buy you t-shirts, let you keep them for like, a month, and then gradually steal them all from you.”

He laughed. “Why not just buy yourself t-shirts that are too big?”

“Because then they won’t smell like you.”

“I would say I’m not sure I fully understand you but actually I’ve been realizing since we got back that I’m sort of obsessed with the smell of your perfume. It would kind of linger in the air after you dropped off my coffees on that last case and that alone could keep me going for hours.”

“Really?” You kept your eyes on the road, diligently avoiding eye contact, suddenly shy.

“Really. You smell so good, all the time. I don’t know how you do it.”

“Well I shower on a regular basis, just for a starting point,” you teased.

“Did you know that some experts say you actually shouldn’t shower every day? Apparently occasionally taking a break allows your skin to rebuild the natural oils it needs to be healthy. So while it doesn’t hurt you to shower every day, it can also be beneficial to skip sometimes.”

“I’m making a mental note of that for our next case. ‘Unsub has read same studies Spencer has. Took them too far.’”

You were rewarded with another of his laughs just as you pulled into your driveway. You took a moment to appreciate it, the sound light and happy. It was nice to hear him so relaxed after the case you had just gotten off. You were quickly overcome by the urge to kiss him.

He lead you inside, the two of you practically tripping over each other in your haste. You had never unlocked a door so fast a day before in your life.

You kicked off your shoes in the hallway, and Spencer followed suit, mismatched socks making an endearing appearance.

“I’ll be right back,” you said, heading in the direction of your bedroom.

“Where are you going?”

“To change into a t-shirt. And no pants.”

Spencer smiled to himself, settling down on your couch, fully prepared to wait as long as it took. He had 114 kisses to bestow upon you in a t-shirt. A t-shirt, and no pants.

“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”

― Robert A. Heinlein

#spencer reid #spencer reid series #matthew gray gubler #mgg #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fic #dr. spencer reid #absence of good #aog #aog-10

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skyhopedango · 4 years

Text

anime I’ve been watching recently

Oh hey, I’m alive. Sorta? Between work being overwhelming and my schedule being kind of out of whack my energy to do anything in my off time, other than staring at the screen, has been at an all-time low... so low I can’t even throw words on the screen to make some posts.

But hey, I’ve still been staring at the screen, and I do have some opinions that I really need to get out of my system. So, this is the stuff I’ve been watching in the past months:

Listeners: No screenshot for this one because I don’t have any lying around anymore, but anyway, yeah, this was fun? Sure, the ending was stupid and didn’t make any sense, but then again, I wasn’t watching this show for the story, or with any expectations of it being “great” or “worthy” or whatever. It was a fun way of turning off my brain for half an hour every week, and I really enjoyed the music references which were much better-informed/researched and executed than in most anime or manga (where they usually just throw the reference in your face and be like “get it? huh? getit??? aren’t we smart?? you should feel smart, too!”). So what if it ended with “Uh, we actually never planned this far, let’s just do every mech anime ending ever”, the journey was worth it.

Nami yo kiitekure: No screenshot for this one either. Nami yo kiitekure was... meh? It started out well, with Minare being a fun and relatable lead, but then it kind of... stalled. And to be honest I got really annoyed with all the shouting. I don’t mind shouty comedy at all (some of my favorite anime comedies are like that) but here the pacing didn’t really work. And I never got the appeal of the live radio segments either (even though I do actually listen to a lot of radio!), perhaps because the seiyuu was just hamming it up instead of delivering a convincing performance, which I kind of expected to be the point. Anyway, I dropped this halfway through. Nothing technically wrong with it, but it’s not my cup of tea.

The Great Pretender: I actually wrote about this previously, and I haven’t seen any new episodes since then. Are they already out? :O What’s going on with this show’s release schedule?

Appare-Ranman: Oh, this is back! And I... don’t really like it as much as I did the first 3 episodes? I dunno, in the recent episodes it kind of lost its swagger and instead settled comfortably into that “Show That Could Have Been On Adult Swim In When American Anime Fans In Their 30s Were Watching That” routine that has been so prevalent in the recent Netflix-backed shows that I seriously believe it’s on purpose, to emulate popular shows in the US and appeal to viewer nostalgia. And this means that to me the show has become kind of... boring, really. Like, again, there’s nothing actually wrong with it, it’s by far the best of PA Works’ attempts at trying new things, and I am still watching it and derive enjoyment from it. But I don’t find it particularly interesting, it’s just going through the motions without adding anything exciting, visually, story-wise or character-wise. Like come on, it’s The Year of Our Lord 2020, do something new or interesting! Like for example...

Deca-Dence: Oh yes. See, when the first episode came out and people were raving and doing the “anime is saved!” thing, I was like “...huh? but this was like every damn fantasy adventure anime ever.” I mean it looked nice, sounded nice, but it was soooo derivative and boring. And then the second episode rolled around and I was like “OK, now you’ve got my attention! :D” and my attention has stayed with the show ever since. See, here’s the difference between this and say, Appare-Ranman: it’s not that Deca-Dence is doing anything revolutionary either, but it’s at least doing something instead of just following a template. Its ambitions don’t stop with having cool visuals and cute character designs.

And another plus for Deca-Dence vs Appare-Ranman: the female characters in Deca-Dence don’t have that stupid PAW “cute anime girl” permablush. God that’s so annoying.

Gibiate: And on topic of shows trying for a retro appeal... yeah. There’s this one. You know those snobbish anime fans who always bemoan the decline of anime, and talk about how back in their time anime as such was better? Yeah, you can tell those people have had a very curated experience of anime “back in the days”, because back in the days, in our case in the ‘80s and early ‘90s, “anime as such” was actually more like this one. Really, Gibiate feels like it’s a zombie of some early ‘90s action show resurrected for some weird experiment, and now it just kind of shambles along aimlessly, not knowing what it’s doing in the present or how it should handle the changes of time. It’s kind of embarrassing, really... well, it was for the three episodes I watched. I dropped it out of secondhand embarrassment, more than anything.

GITS:SAC 2045: Oh yes, there’s this one as well. As I predicted, it was crap. It kind of feels like the creators were contracted to do a new series, but they had no actual ideas for a GITS:SAC sequel, nor any inspiration, and also nothing particular they wanted to say with the new show. Hell, apparently they didn’t rewatch GITS:SAC to refresh their memories of the show they were ostensibly trying to create a sequel for. OK, Imma rant about this a bit (copy-pasting something I wrote elsewhere).

1. The visuals are shit. Look, I'm not biased against CG, a lot of shows I enjoy have CG, a lot of them have bad CG. I tend not to care a lot about animation quality be it amazing or crap, as long as I enjoy the rest of the show. But this show looks like shit. The characters are rubber dolls floating in virtual space, physical character interaction is distracting, and all the action is hilaribad. Character animation is fucked up so often, like, they tried to give the Major a sexy hip sway but the result has her walking like she has a stick shoved up her butt. Hell, often they couldn’t even animate lip flaps properly, which doesn’t make the soulless masks the characters have for faces any more expressive. Also, character design-wise, the Major sticks out like a sore thumb, looking like a Sexy Dollfie among all the semi-realistic character designs. It’s kinda offensive, really. 2. Again, I could have lived with the visuals, if the rest of the show was any good. But it's not. With the exception of that one episode with the bank robbery, that was good and felt like real GITS:SAC, this is like someone's subpar fanfic, which is sad considering the writers behind the show. Characterization is weird and fucked up and doesn’t follow SAC. The worldbuilding went from the rather well thought out backdrop of SAC to a mess of ~edgy~ concepts mixed without any particular depth given to them. "Sustainable war!!! Thinkpol!!! 1984!!!!!" 3. The concept of post-humans is such a huge missed opportunity. Paired with the whole "ThinkPol" thing (as eyeroll-inducing as that is) there was a pretty good chance there to explore the dehumanizing aspect of the internet, and tie it into the "anon vigilante crowds" thing the story seems to be trying to get going. But nope, they just went with the stupidest routes. Also, the whole idea of "post-humans" doesn't flow organically from the worldbuilding of SAC, it just feels like something they came up with because they had to do something new. It also kinda feels like someone watched Darker Than Black one too many times.

So yeah, so, so disappointing. I’ll be watching S2 when it comes along because eh, more GITS, but I’m not gonna pretend this is anything but a subpar attempt to cash in on the franchise.

#appare ranman #deca-dence #listeners #gibiate #gits 2045 #the great pretender #appare-ranman #Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex #nami yo kiitekure

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bnha-ra · 4 years

Note

How would canon class 1A handle monsters? Or handle the monster version of themselves?

Woah! That was quick! It hasn’t even been 10 minutes! XD But I think I’d have a few ideas for this!

Okay, so, SN is for Supernatural and C is for Canon/Classic!

Here we go:

Aoyama

SN!Aoyama and C!Aoyama I feel wouldn’t really react to each other, SN!Aoyama would probably be a little cocky, I mean, “I can do magic, have the most fabulous wings and fly! And all you have is a pretty little naval beam? How cute~”

C!Aoyama Does really like his fairy self that much.

Ashido

SN!Ashido and C!Ashido probably find each other really cool! SN!Ashido is amazed by the acid that C!Ashida is able to create acid from her hands, C!Ashido is amazed about how SN!Ashido can perform magic and fly! SN!Ashido is also so small! So cute! C!Ashido introduces SN!Ashido to modern society while SN!Ashido talks about life in the forest.

Asui

SN!Asui and C!Asui find each other and their word’s amazing. While C!Asui is probably amazed by the fact that SN!Asui can perform magic and that she can shapeshift into different creatures! SN!Asui would be amazed by C!Asui’s reality Heroes? Villains? Humans are the only species? She finds it really interesting!

Iida

After getting over the fact that SN!Iida is a fucking horse, C!Iida will probably start to ask questions about SN!Iida’s world. What are the rules in their society, what their legal system is like, etc. (some questions that would confuse SN!Iida because what the fuck is a legal system) though, once C!Iida is calmed down, they both talk about each other’s world, SN!Iida probably explains the history between humans and monsters as well. (People in class probably try to persuade them to race each other)

Uraraka

C!Uraraka finds SN!Uraraka adorable! She’s so small and cute! She can do magic! She can fly! That’s so cool! All the while SNUraraka! is the same! C!Uraraka is big and cute! She has magic (They see Quirks as magic at first) too! She can fly just like SN!Uraraka can! But is a little confused about how C!Uraraka gets sick from her flying? Hasn’t she gotten used to it by now?

Ojiro

Ummm, what? C!Ojiro is probably a little intimidated by SN!Ojiro, his tail makes him so much taller and it’s so long, really powerful, I mean, C!Ojiro’s tail is pretty strong too but SN!Ojiro’s tail is crazy strong! Though the intimidation eventually fades away and they’re friendly towards one another

Kaminari

“YOU HAVE MAGIC?!” “YOU CONTROL LIGHTNING!?” “What!? No! My Quirk is electrification! You know, like electricity?” “What’s electricity?” “Bro-”

Their two brain cells can’t handle this! They’ll self-destruct!

Nah, just kidding. They find each other pretty cool! SN!Kaminari thinks that C!Kaminari literally shooting lightning out of his body is amazing! C!Kaminari thinks that the fact that SN!Kaminari uses his magic through music is the coolest thing ever! Instant buddies!

Kirishima

C!Kirishima is also a little intimidated by SN!Kirishima at first. I mean, SN!Kirishima can turn into rock, breathe fire, fly, not to mention he’s a fucking dragon. I mean come on, how cool is that! However, he quickly gets over it when SN!Kirishima mentions that they want to become a forest guardian (sorry, left this part out!), C!Kirishima talks about his want to become a hero, they both bond over manliness.

Koda

C!Koda and SN!Koda bond over animals! C!Koda introduces SN!Koda to his bunny and SN!Koda talks about all the different animals that are in his universe to C!Koda. SN!Koda goes on to show what more he can do with his magic while C!Koda watches in awh!

Sato

I feel C!Sato gets a little nervous when SN!Sato mentions that he’s a werewolf because in modern society werewolf are depicted as humans that shift into huge, dangerous beats during full moons. Tough C!Sato calms down after SN!Sato explains that he’s fully aware in his wolf form and wouldn’t hurt anyone! C!Sato explains his sugar Quirk to SN!Sato then the change to the topic of cooking/baking and C!Sato shows him modern food and how to cook it.

Shouji

I think that C!Shouji would be in a mix of awe and nerves because while they’re similar in many ways SN!Shouji is literally a descendant of god-like beings that used to roam their (SN) world, C!Shouji just has a cool Quirk. SN!Shouji would probably ask a few questions about the modern world though and they have a discussion about their two realities

Jiro

C!Jiro would probably be a bit disappointed a first because she’d probably want to be something more edgy like a vampire or werewolf but when she sees SN!Jiro’s abilities first hand she’d quickly get over it. SN!Jiro would probably be interested about C!Jiro’s Quirk, ask questions about it, then C!Jiro would most likely introduce SN!Jiro to modern music and instruments.

Sero

I feel C!Sero would find it cool enough that there’s another version of him from another universe, I think he would be ecstatic that his counterpart is part spider! (I headcanon that C!Sero really likes arachnids!) SN!Sero would probably be interested in his tape, thinking it was webbing and would probably ask why it comes out of his elbows instead of his wrists (Yes I imagine when SN!Sero is in his human form his webbing comes out of his wrists like Spider-Man, leave me alone!) and why it looks like that. They’d probably go off into a conversation about their abilities as well.

Tokoyami

They chat about their mutual fondness about darkness and the arcane. SN!Tokoyami takes about his duties as a demi-deity while C!Tokoyami discusses heroism and his want to become on. SN!Tokoyami is intrigued by C!Dark Shadow while C!Tokoyami looks up at SN!Dark Shadow in awe. (Because that’s a big fucking dog)

Todoroki

They’re hesitant about one another a first, C!Todoroki thinks SN!Todoroki is merely a quirk user trying to trick him somehow while SN!Todoroki thinks it’s some spell-caster trying to trick him, or worse, one of his father’s henchmen trying to drag him back to the Lower Realm. The appearance of the others and their counterparts calm them both down though. They’ll be neutral about each other, but eventually, they’ll start to ask each other questions.

Hagakure

They’re both so excited! C!Hagakure finds SN!Hagakure’s powers are so cool! SN!Hagakure thinks the same about C!Hagakure’s Quirk! They both bond really quickly, C!Hagakure wants to show SN!Hagakure around their modern society and SN!Hagakure wants to show C!Hagakure the forest that she had grown up in! Oh, they both become so hyped!

Bakugo

Just a lot of shouting. Come on, it’s Bakugo we’re talking about. They’ll probably start a fight with each other too to see who’s stronger. That’s all, we all know how that’s gonna end.

It’s just fucking chaos.

Midoriya

They are both so excited! C!Midoirya shows his counterpart all of his hero journals and SN!Midoirya shows C!Midoirya all of his monster journals. They both gush about All Might and the differences between them, they probably compare Quirk and magic together, it’s an awesome experience for those two!

Mineta

Two outcomes: C!Mineta would probably mention how grotesque SN!Mineta is and then get chased by SN!Mineta with a club or they both bond over their disgusting perverse thoughts and tricks. Either way, ew.

Yaoyorozu

Probably instantly dive into a conversation about the differences and the similarities about their worlds, compare their lives and whatnot. They act neutral to each other but they’re both actually really excited, I mean, what an opportunity, meeting yourself from a different reality, it’s amazing! They also bond over their shared hate of Mineta. SN!Yaoyorozu shows her magic and C!Yaoyorozu shows her Quirk. SN!Yaoyorozu probably tries to teach C!Yaoyorozu how to use magic.

(Name)

As soon as they see each other’s its game over. C!(Name) is gonna explain memes to SN!(Name) and get her to learn a bunch of stupid shit while SN!(Name) is gonna teach C!(Name) all the pranks that they can perform using the nature around them. They introduce their own versions of Squishy, talk about their experiences with losing their parents, but it’s mostly gonna be the most chaotic meetup in existence. Seriously,

run while you still can.

Also, Class 1A handling just normal monsters? They should be okay as long as they are friendly! Most monsters are friendly! They’re just nervous around humans because humans aren’t really fond of their kind! Showing you trust a monster means that they have nothing to worry about! Although, not everyone monster is easy to get along with, some hold a grudge against humans because of huntsman, but their Quirks should keep them safe, as they are seen as magic, so they’ll just be mistaken for Wiccan or maybe a deity of some kind.

#boku no hero academia imagine #my hero academia imagine #mha imagine #bnha imagine #mha scenario #bnha scenario #mha x reader #bnha x reader #au prompt #supernatural au #Class 1A #supernatural class 1A

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i-will-physically-fight-you · 5 years

Text

If Only In My Dreams

Chapter 3: Faithful Friends Who are Dear to Us

Chapter Summary: A skype call ensues between our two protagonists.

Pairings: platonic prinixety & platonic moxiety

Word-count: 3468

Over-All Fic Warnings: abusive parents, homesickness, misunderstandings, crying, loneliness, hurt/comfort

Inspiration: this ask right here

AO3 LINK, Chapter 1, Chapter 2

This was such a chore to write, but it’s finally done!! Many thanks to @theeternalspace for beta’ing as always. There will be an epilogue following suit, but I can’t promise when I’ll post it considering this chapter took six months to write haha

Virgil stared at his phone.

“I’m such a screw-up.” He whispered underneath his breath.

He hadn’t responded to any of his best friend’s texts and now Patton thought he hated him. When in actuality, that was very much the opposite. Virgil loved his best friend so much that he feared the idea of being rejected by him. It had been so stupid to ignore Patton like that.

Of course Patton would think he think he hated him. Virgil had given him the silent treatment all week. Worse, Virgil had broke his promise of reuniting with him in Florida. It’d been so easy in the moment to avoid breaking the truth to Patton. He was now paying for the repercussions of his actions.

Would Patton still want to be friends with him after all this? Virgil wouldn’t want to be friends with himself.

Roman cleared his throat, causing Virgil to jump. He’d almost forgotten he was in the same room as him.

“I know it’s not my place,” He began, “but whoever this “Patton” character is to you, they seem to care a lot about you.”

Virgil raised an eyebrow, “You’ve been reading my text messages?”

He really should be more pissed off about that than he was. Virgil coveted his privacy, protecting his phone from prying eyes like a hawk. But he could hardly bring himself to care about that in the midst of his pity party.

“Only the ones that popped up on your screen. I don’t know your phone’s password, I swear!” Roman said, attempting to justify it, although he looked as ashamed as he rightfully should be, “They even tried calling you at one point. I was going to answer it, but Logan advised against it. Said it was an invasion of your privacy.”

Virgil glanced back down at his phone. Well, that explained why it was on the coffee table and not his hoodie pocket. His phone screen went black and he pressed the home button, turning it on once more. Patton’s last two text messages peered back at him.

Patton Hart 💙: Hey kiddo...are we still friends?

Patton Hart 💙: It’s okay if we aren’t!! I know how you are, Virge, you don’t have to feel obligated to remain friends. Seasons come and go, y’know? Not everything lasts...and that’s okay. I still cherish every memory we spent together. But if you want me to stop meownoying you with texts, I’ll understand.

Virgil let out a strained sound, something halfway between a sob and a laugh. Trust Patton to still slip in a pun in a text like that. Patton loved puns. Virgil also loved puns, a dark secret of his that Patton alone knew. Virgil couldn’t openly admit to liking puns. It messed with his edgy emo vibes.

Meownoying. What a godawful, cheesy pun. In any other context, Virgil would be covering his mouth in a poor attempt to mask his laughter.

He glanced over back to Roman, who stood a few feet away from him. Roman crossed his arms in a relaxed manner, eyes wide with concern. He opened his mouth, his breath hitching at the last second. For the first time since Virgil had known him, Roman looked hesitant. It was clear he wanted to help in some way, but he didn’t know how. Virgil didn’t blame him. They may have spent a whole semester living in the same apartment, but they were at best acquaintances and at worst, strangers.

Virgil sighed, gripping onto his phone tighter.

“Patton is my best friend. Or at least he was,” He said, staring down at the carpeted floor, “The two of us have been friends since middle school. We had planned on meeting up while I was back home in Florida. You can guess how that turned out.”

He wasn’t sure why he was telling this to Roman. It was stupid. Maybe being alone in that apartment for three days without heat caused some brain damage. He explained what had happened to Roman. Well, almost everything. He left out what exactly kept from getting another flight.

Several times he looked up at Roman, expecting him to laugh or make fun of him. Roman did none of those things. He instead leaned against the side of the couch, patiently listening to him. After he finished, there was a lapse of silence. Then Roman spoke,

“You should talk to him.”

Virgil groaned. That damn dreaded phrase. Of course, what else could Roman say? It was true. Only talking would solve this situation. It didn’t mean he didn’t still loathe the idea of it.

“I know.” Virgil said, gritting his teeth as his gaze drifted to the floor, “It’s just I’m...scared.”

It was stupid, Virgil knew, to be afraid of contacting Patton. It wasn’t like the apocalypse would come to fruition or anything. The best-case scenario is that they would remain friends. The worst-case scenario is that they...wouldn’t remain friends and god, that felt worse than death to Virgil. Patton was his only friend, the only person who knew him better than even his parents. Virgil was going to lose him, and like everything else in life, it was all his fault.

He doubted that Roman would understand. From what little he knew of the other, he was confident, cocky, fearless--

“There is no shame in being afraid, you know. I were you, I think I would just as afraid.” Roman said, causing his whirling thoughts to grind to a halt.

“Really?” Virgil gawked up at him.

“Well yeah,” Roman said as he sat down on the couch beside Virgil, “even the bravest of knights have fears.”

“If they’re brave, how can they be afraid then?” Virgil quirked an eyebrow.

“Because bravery is not the absence of fear, it is the ability to continue despite it,” Roman smiled softly, “it is okay to be afraid. However, you must question whether or not is worth it to conquer your fear.”

When Virgil kept staring at him blankly, Roman continued.

“Friendship is like—like a ship!” He snapped his fingers together, “Made up of you and a fellow seafaring traveler—a friend. Together you embark on a wondrous journey, experience amazing things together! But sometimes you might encounter stormy weather or some sort of…sea-witch that threatens to wreck your friend-ship.

“And! You can only save it if you gather the courage to do so. If you jump ship out of fear, the ship will sink. I suppose the question you must ask yourself is: are you willing to go on living with your friendship becoming a shipwreck, or are you willing to attempt to save it from such a fate?”

“Wow…” Virgil said, after finding his voice, “that was incredibly cheesy.”

He’d known Roman had a flair for the dramatics. Once before midterms he found Roman saying a eulogy over his broken jar of crofters jam at 4am in the morning. Still, as cheesy as it’d been, Virgil couldn’t help but be moved.

The fear of rejection was a strong fear. But could he truly live with regrets? Regrets about how he hurt Patton? Regrets about how he didn’t try to fix it? He knew all those fond memories he shared with Patton would become tainted with those regrets. He didn’t want that to happen.

“But,” Virgil spoke up again, “you do have a point.”

Anxious_EmoNightmare is calling…

Patton sunk to the floor beside the refrigerator. He ignored its insistent beeping for him to shut the freezer door. Instead he focused his attention on his phone. Virgil’s profile pic stared back at him. Not a picture of himself, rather, but a drawing of the two Patton had made and given him.

Virgil was an amazing artist, with the knack of creating art that invoked true emotion from the viewer. Patton’s art, on the other hand, was barely a step above stick figures. Still, Virgil treasured Patton’s art enough to use it as a profile pic.

“Aw shucks, kiddo, it’s nothing compared to yours!” Patton had laughed, ducking his head bashfully.

“Yeah but...it’s special ‘cause you made it,” Virgil’s cheeks flushed before mumbling under his breath, “Besidesmyartiskindashittyanyways.”

“What was that?”

“My art is kinda sh--crappy!”

“I will physically fight you if you don’t stop talking about you and your art!” Patton gasped, “Your art is just as--as wonderful, unique and superb as you are!” “No it isn’t.” Virgil groaned, hiding his face with his hands.

“Yes it is!”

“Not it isn’t.”

“Is.”

“Isn’t!”

Patton smiled slyly, “No it isn’t!”

“Yes it is!” Virgil yelled, before the realization dawned on his face.

“So, you doooo admit it.” Patton said as he attempted to keep himself from chuckling.

“You--you tricked me.” Virgil protested, before the two finally burst together into laughter.

That memory usually made him smile. Not today, with his heart hammering in his throat. He stared at the skype call notification, vision blurred with tears. God, he was sick of tears. It felt like in the past year alone, he’d cried enough tears to last a lifetime.

He knew he had to pick up. Time was running short. Hastily, he wiped away his tears and shut the fridge door with his phone-less hand. He took one long deep breath, then pressed accept.

At once the phone screen went blank. A small part of Patton hoped it stayed blank. Then a fuzzy pixelated image came to life--the familiar face of his best friend Virgil filled the screen. He was hunched up in his signature plaid hoodie. The purple bangs that covered half his face made it difficult to tell if he was making eye contact. Patton didn’t recognize his friend’s surroundings at all--meaning he wasn’t at his apartment. Perhaps he was at a friend’s house. The very thought of Patton distracting Virgil from his new friends made his stomach squirm.

Patton swallowed, “H-hey--”

The call immediately ended.

He stared at his phone’s home screen, eyebrows furrowed. Should he call back or…?

Anxious_EmoNightmare is calling…

His phone started buzzing again as Virgil’s profile pic popped up once more. This time Patton clicked on it within the first buzz. Virgil appeared again, fiddling with the sleeve zippers of his hoodie. Patton could hear him taking in slow, measured breaths.

“Uh, sorry.” Virgil said, breaking the palpable silence, “I got...anxious.”

“It’s okay, kiddo.” Patton mustered up a thin smile.

Distantly, in his mind, he worried about what was the cause of Virgil’s anxiety. He knew Virgil was inherently an anxious person whose many fears were largely unfounded. Patton knew this and still loved him, anxiety and all.

Patton’s words did everything but alleviate Virgil, who shrunk even further into himself.

“Look Pat, I’m just gonna come out and say it: it was really shitty of me to ignore your texts for a whole week like that, I shouldn’t have done that--”

“It’s okay, kiddo!” Patton’s smile grew flimsier, unable to keep his voice from cracking, “I know you were probably busy with your friends and all.”

Virgil flinched as if Patton’s words slapped him in the face. He didn’t understand Virgil’s reaction, which alarmed him. Patton usually had a great read on Virgil. Or at least he did five months ago.

“Friends?” Virgil echoed.

“Yeah, friends,” Patton said, “I, um, called your mom--”

“You called my mom? Why?” Virgil demanded.

“I was worried sick!” Patton cried out, a spark of rage he didn’t realize he possessed ignited, “You weren’t responding to my texts or my phone calls. It’s been a whole week-- and with the blizzard, I thought maybe you died!”

Tears rolled down his cheeks as Patton pressed on, “So I called your mom, because I had to know that you were at least okay. And she told me you decided to stay in Massachusetts and--and you were probably busy hanging out with friends. Which is fine! I’m fine! But at least text your best friend and tell them what the hell’s going on.”

Virgil stared at him, pupils dilated and mouth agape. In the stillness, all Patton could hear is Virgil heavily breathing into the mic. Any other time it broke Patton to see his best friend look so...devastated. Not this time. It felt almost triumphant to incite such a reaction in Virgil.

Patton leaned against the refrigerator, heart clanging loudly inside his chest. He hated being angry. He didn’t like how it made him feel. There was just something savagely satisfying about lashing out in anger and it scared him how much he liked it. Patton was angry, yes. He was also frustrated, hurt, confused and a thousand other related synonyms. None of which justified lashing out at Virgil in that way.

“Look, Virge. I’m sorry--”

“No,” Virgil cut in, grimacing, “Don’t apologize, Pat. You have a right to be upset and I--I understand if you don’t want to be friends anymore. I mean, you probably have better friends back in Florida…”

Virgil choked, unable to finish his own sentence. His voice had been relatively calm up until this moment. It’d been that faux calm, one that came from practicing words one hoped never to utter. If Patton knew anything about Virgil and his anxiety, that was most definitely the case.

“Virgil,” Patton inhaled, “I don’t have...any other friends.”

“What?” Virgil asked, looking up at him incredulously.

“Well, I do have friends!” Patton quickly amended, “Not just friends friends if you know what I mean. They’re more like acquaintances if I’m being honest. They’re work and school friends--so they tolerate me because they have to, not because they like me and really they think I’m too annoying and childish--sorry! I’m rambling. I--I haven’t really kept in contact with anyone out of high school besides you. I know it’s pathetic, but you’re my only friend Virgil and I don’t want to lose you--please.”

Virgil blinked at him. Then he laughed, hard enough for tears to come out. High and lilting. Nothing like his usual quiet chuckles. Out of all the outcomes he imagined, Virgil laughing wasn’t one of them. Except it happened. Usually getting a laugh out of Virgil was the highlight of his day. He’d never imagined hearing it would cause his heart to break. He almost considered ending the call there, forgetting it even happened.

The hurt in his face must’ve shown, because Virgil ceased laughing abruptly.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to laugh, I just…” He pauses, fiddling with the ends of his hoodie strings, “Honest to God, you’re my only friend too.”

“What?” Patton croaks out, eyes bulging, “But your mother said--”

“Yeah, well, like a lot of things about my life she was wrong.” Virgil snapped, his ire obviously reserved for her and not Patton.

“Virgil, what...happened?” Patton asked, soft and hesitant.

He was beginning to think that he had the story all wrong. Maybe Virgil didn’t hate him. That he hadn’t change plans last minute without informing Patton or ignored him out of malice. He was still the Virgil Patton knew and loved. He had to be.

Virgil’s fingers tightened around his hoodie strings. His eyes were closed, and Patton could tell by his controlled breaths he was trying to quell his anxiety.

“It’s really stupid,” Virgil begins, “and most of it is my fault because I got anxious and then my one rational brain cell left the building. My mother--she--well, she--”

Virgil let out a huff, frustrated by his inability to speak. Why had he thought a Skype call would be a good idea versus simply texting? Screw it being a show of genuity--he had always been better at transcribing his thoughts in written words rather than spoken ones. He could form his thoughts into a semi-coherent message whereas real time didn’t leave much room for error.

“It’s alright, Virgil,” Patton spoke up, “take your time.”

He looked up at the screen, at Patton who smiled back at him. Not mockingly, but a real, authentic smile meant to reassure him. It was then he remembered why he treasured Patton’s friendship. In high school, people always overlooked Patton as a bubbly airhead. They overlooked his kindness, his refusal to let anyone feel excluded from things. He may not have ever received the top grades in academic subjects, but he possessed wisdom in spades.

Aided by Patton’s encouragement, Virgil continued. His words weren’t perfect. He stumbled and stuttered his way through an explanation. But Patton waited patiently until he regained control of them again. Virgil told him everything.

He admitted to Patton what really happened in the phone conversation between him and his mother. How he accepted her words without a fight, like a coward. How he felt abandoned by his parents, out of sight out of mind. How he spiraled into an anxiety attack, believing he couldn’t tell Patton. Couldn’t let him down or expect Patton to help with his air fares. He thought Patton would forget about him, too busy with hanging out with his real friends to notice Virgil’s absence.

He told him about the broken heater. How he wallowed in his misery rather than figure out a short-term solution for his problem. Waddled up in blankets, lying on a couch. If it hadn’t been for his roommate Roman--well, he didn’t want to think about it.

“He kidnapped you?” Patton asked, gasping.

It had been the first time Patton had said something. All up to this point, he remained attentively listening. Occasionally he nodded or hummed sympathetically to let Virgil know he was paying attention.

“Well, sort of,” Virgil grimaced, “The cold kinda got to me. He was worried I had hypothermia and got a bit panicked. He took me to his brother’s place and offered to let me stay here for the rest of the break. He, well, he encouraged me to talk to you. He’s...a pretty nice dude. Don’t you dare tell him I said that, or it’ll get to his head.”

“Got it.” Patton said, nodding sagely as if the chances of them ever interacting weren’t slim. His eyebrows furrowed, waiting for Virgil to lead the conversation in what direction he’d prefer. A terrible decision, really. Virgil knew the words he had to utter, words that could truly do nothing to fix the damage already done.

“Patton, I’m so sorry about everything,” Virgil blurted out. Quick. Like ripping off a band-aid. He shut his eyes tight, unable to see Patton’s reaction. Because if he couldn’t see it, maybe it’d hurt less when Patton denied his apology. Anxiety logic.

“Virgil...” Patton said softly, “of course I forgive you.”

Immediately a colossus weight lifted up of Virgil at those words. But Patton wasn’t finished speaking, “Who I can’t forgive are your parents.”

“My parents?”

“Virgil, I only know a little from what you told me about them,” Patton hesitated, “but from what I know, you deserve better. They belittle you, refuse to acknowledge your own feelings and insist you only do things their way...that’s not love, Virgil. That’s not how family should act. After all, you can’t spell ‘FAM’ without I L Y.”

Virgil gaped up at Patton’s grainy image on the screen. This news shouldn’t be a huge surprise to him. He knew his parents did some questionable things when it came to parenting. But he had always thought it was his anxiety over-magnifying things. Making mountains out of molehills.

To hear someone point it out and insist it wasn’t right and to have that person be Patton…well.

“You’re not mad at me?” Virgil blurted out, “But I ruined everything, if maybe I’d--”

“Virge, I was more worried than upset,” Patton interrupted firmly, “I was worried about losing our friendship, but more importantly I was worried if you were okay.”

“Oh,” Virgil said faintly, “Well you shouldn’t worry, ‘cause that’s my job.”

“I care about you, I’m going to worry whether you like it or not, mister.”

“Well maybe I’m not worth worrying over.”

“How dare you!” Patton gasped dramatically, “I will physically fight you!”

“Pat, you’re not even here with me--”

“I will personally book a ticket to Massachusetts if I have too!”

“Wait you’d do that? For real?”

“Well, of course,” Patton said, “we’re best friends, aren’t we?”

Virgil stared at him. Patton’s tear-encrusted face alit with a soft glow. His lips pressed into a small smile, one that always been reserved for Virgil and him alone. He felt both foolish and grateful. Foolish for ever doubting Patton. Grateful for the fact that Patton refused to give up on him, even when Virgil himself believed he should.

“Yeah, of course,” Virgil agreed, a lump forming in his throat, “I, uh, value our friend-chip a lot.”

Patton’s resulting squeal almost broke Virgil’s eardrums. But that was okay, because he’d rather be deaf if it meant he was still friends with one Patton Hart.

#thomas sanders #sander sides #patton sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #moxiety #kat writes

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