#i will feel more deserving of it and less Guilty!

[x-liv25-jamieswife]

Can you make some sad libby headcanons? I swear all your other sad headcanons made me cry😭

sad libby head canons

YES! libby is literally the fucking best and she's so underrated. trigger warning for self-harm, suicidal thoughts/attempts, eating disorders, and sexual assault. hope you like them <3.

she used to apologize to her mother after she would hit her (in tig she says her mother used to hit her when she was stressed)

she's been self-harming since she was like 12. she used the blade in her pencil sharpener and cut the tops of her thighs (you can't see them even when she wears shorts)

drake convinced her that him SAing her was out of love, and that he knew she 'wanted' it so she should stop complaining. she'd be the one who ended up apologizing to him after he'd assault her

in high school, because of how tough things were at home, she used to do drugs (she had this really bad group of friends that sort of influenced her) (she didn't get addicted to the drugs though, if was more of a once in a while thing when she couldn't handle her life anymore)

at some point, her mom was doing really badly financially, and they were forced to move into a smaller one bedroom apartment. libby thought her mom deserved the bed bc she worked so hard so she slept on the floor.

she's so used to people hitting her that it doesn't even hurt anymore. when someone does, she sort of dissociates in order to not feel anything.

her mom used to tell her she was overweight (she was literally underweight, her mom was just jealous). libby then developed an eating disorder (bulimia)

the ED was sort of an on and off thing for her. every once in a while, she'd get the idea in her head that she was overweight and ugly and should do smth about it, but, then, avery or one of her friends would help her get better.

the reason she's drawn to men like drake is bc it's the only thing she's familiar with. her mom was a piece of shit too, so for her its what's normal/what she deserves (this is less of a head canon and more psychology but eh)

she'll do anything anyone asks of her. she can't say no even if it makes her uncomfortable/she doesn't have the time/doesn't like that person.

she sometimes gets so mad at the world that she punches walls until her bones almost break.

she hates getting mad at people bc she reminds herself of her mother.

she's terrified of becoming a mother (even though she wants to be one) bc she's convinced herself that she'll be like her mom, if not worse.

her mom used to get mad at her for ricky (her father) leaving. so much so that libby started blaming herself for it

drake used to tell libby that if she didn't let him have his way with her, he'd hurt avery. libby, of course, didn't want that so she would let him do awful things to her.

she hates taking baths bc drake used to waterboard her (if you don't know what that is, search it up)

when libby used to do things her mom didn't approve of/like (mistakes all children make and learn from like spilling a glass of milk), she would deny libby basic needs like food, water, a bed to sleep in etc.

idk if this one will make sense (it makes sense to me but idk), but libby dyes her hair a new color very often bc its a way for her to start anew. like lets say she breaks up with drake again and she hates herself for getting back together with him in the first place, she dyes her hair a new color to signify the beginning of a new era.

she will literally break her back to please people/be the person they want her to be. if they think she talks to much, she'll stop talking, etc (people's opinions of her matter a lot to her)

tw prob one of the darkest hcs i've ever written: libby ended up in the hospital once bc she slit her wrists trying to off herself. this happened right before she took avery in. the doctors didn't think she'd make it.

she'd considered offing herself multiple times before and after the last hc, but she doesn't bc just the thought of it makes her feel guilty. she doesn't want people to cry over her bc she thinks she doesn't deserve their tears, and she doesn't want to leave people she wants to help

she insists everyone get therapy but herself bc, to her, other people matter more

the only thing that brought her comfort as a child was this stuffed bunny. she used to press it to her wounds bc it would dull the pain (this might not make sense but whenever i get hurt (cause im ass clumsy bitch), putting pressure on the wound dulls the pain). she also found comfort in how soft it was.

drake threw that bunny away cause he thought it was worthless. libby told nash about this and he searched the entire fucking country until he found that damn stuffed bunny (idk how he did but he's a hawthorne so...)

when she has panic attacks, she'll either be very silent/still in a corner or she'll be clawing/pulling at anything around her (including herself)

she didn't do well in school not bc she wasn't smart but bc the students and teachers were so creepy towards her (would harass her constantly) that she felt uncomfortable even stepping into the school

absolutely hates it when drunk people interact with her/get too close to her bc whenever drake got drunk, he'd hit her

hannah's death hit her hard too. they were actually much closer than people thought they were. hannah helped her through a lot of shitty things that happened in her life. she would visit her grave every once in a while to tell her she wished she was still here bc her life (and avery's) was absolutely shit without her. she would breakdown in the middle of the graveyard every time

whenever she felt like hurting herself but didn't have a blade nearby, she would dig her fingernails into the already existing wounds to make them bleed again.

drake once beat her up so bad she ended up in the hospital with brain swelling and a fractured arm. the swelling in her brain was so bad they didn't know if she'd make it out alive.

here's a happy libby head canon to (hopefully) make it all better:

she used to be this supervisor at a daycare when she was younger (that's probably not even a thing but lets pretend it is). the kid would make her drawings all of the time with hearts and proposals and stuff. she loved the kids so much, she would hug every single one of them and bake them cupcakes. they were literally her best friends, and some of them still send her messages through their mom/dad (she would befriend their parents and give them her number/email)

not proof read bc i'm a lazy ass bitch. i say this in every post, but pls talk to someone if you need help (if there's no one in your life you can talk to, contact a helpline). sending lots of love to everyone <3.

#the inheritance games #jameson hawthorne #grayson hawthorne #avery grambs #nash hawthorne #xander hawthorne #libby grambs

[lemonyinks]

I didn't like Mekt much but I do hate seeing him only utilized as a villain, as if Legion Worlds didn't happen.

Where is the Mekt who admitted that he was wrong to let his loneliness and jealousy dictate how he acted? Where is the Mekt that worked to be better? Where is the Mekt who welcomed Ayla home and put himself in harms way to help her save their parents farm? Where is the Mekt that delighted at the idea of seeing Garth again and was sad to hear he wasn't really coming back?

I don't know. Maybe it's just me but Mekt works so much better as a character of redemption and reconciliation than as one who stays bitter and antagonistic. He's more interesting that way

#this is just about post zero hour mekt i dont know much about other mekts' #losh #legion of super heroes #mekt ranzz #inkytalks #AND I AM NOT EVEN SAYING YOU AHVE TO LIKE HIM #OR THAT HIS SIBLINGS *HAVE* TO FORGIVE HIM #this still works if THEY are still bitter to HIM for what he did #BECAUSE THEY WOULD HAVE A RIGHT TO BE #but he doesn't deserve the watered down one dimensional asshole characterization I've seen in a few fics that are ABOUT pzh #my ideal rannz sibling dynamic is ayla being bitter and hostile to mekt garth being wary and hurt and at first unable to be around mekt #while mekt himself just feels so guilty for what he did and desperate to make up but willing to give them however long they need #even if that means he doesnt get to be in their lives ever again... #and then eventually they fall into a comfortable normal that is still not fully recovered and still bitter but they can #have breakfast togther without incident #they can talk about things like the weather or town gossip #they can work together on the farm in comfortable silence #ayla slowly grows less suspicious of mekt and begins to trust him a little more #garth stops feeling like mekt is going to lash out at any given moment and can spend time around him alone #things arent great and they probably wont ever heal all the way their relationship will always be strained #but he's trying and thats all they care about #and things are kinda sorta okay

[radioromantic-moved]

changing the design for my‏‏‎ ‎pyschonauts‏‏‎ ‎s/i's‏‏‎ ‎mental world again. i like the idea of it being a miniature solar system with a collection of small planets representing different important things to them and you can zip from planet to planet‏‏‎ ‎sort of‏‏‎ ‎mario‏‏‎ ‎galaxy‏‏‎ ‎style. i know there's already a character themed around space but we don't go into her head and people can share gimmicks in this universe there are three distinct mad scientists and a whole bunch of laid back band people it's fine it's fine.

#and i feel like their inner conflict would be less of generalized anxiety #like it was before #and more of the fear of feeling useless? like the other‏‏‎ ‎top agents are out doing missions and risking their lives #and they mostly stay put in hq doing archival things #because their psychic specialty is not particularly battle appropriate #and they have a chronic illness #but they can't help feeling guilty and like they don't deserve to be where they are #(you could call it. impostor syndrome. impostor syndrome in space. get it. get it.) #(sorry.) #ERM. YEAH i've just been brainstorming lol. #nyx on comms #s/i talk

[glindyupland]

.

#ya ever jus cant shake the feeling that you’re not important and that your time isn’t nearly as valuable as everyone else’s?? #so you get yourself in trouble with yourself because you’re not doing enough for other people?? #Glindy’s Posts #because like you’re scum so of course nobody else has to do that thing #because they’re much more important than you and have much more important things to do #like read or relax or play games or work out #but you’re just stupid and boring and don’t deserve to have free time? #because it really feels like that way to me #my words don’t matter and my time doesn’t matter and I should feel guilty for not serving those more important than me? #tw #straight up wish I didn’t hate myself so much life would be so much easier #what do you mean you can just do things without worrying about everything everyone will think ever #and you’ll have to live with the guilt of not doing their dishes for the rest of all eternity because they have more important things to do #and YOU didn’t do them even though they weren’t yours but you make less money or you’re not as pretty or not as fun #so their responsibilities fall onto you because you don’t deserve to have time to be nice because you haven’t done anything to earn that

[sttoru]

toji never celebrates his birthday and thus learned to treat it as any other regular day. well, until you came into the picture and did the unexpected.

☀︎｜tags. dom!toji fushiguro x female reader. smut mixed with fluff & sprinkle of angst. implied age gap (reader early 20’s, toji late 20’s /early 30’s) implied size difference, p in v -> unprotected, cowgirl position, toji actually being a soft dom kinda, praise mixed with tiny bit of degradation, slight corruption kink, dirty talk / teasing, biting, creampie, reader gets called ‘princess, little girl \\ pretty, innocent, small'. not beta read. happy bday hubby!

“i told ya — fuck jus’ like that — not to buy or do anythin’ for me on m’birthday.” toji’s head lolls back against the pillow while his rough palms explore every inch of your gorgeous body. the word ‘birthday’ rolls off his tongue in a bitter manner. the assassin never celebrates that dreadful day, as he calls it.

he’s never found it to be worth remembering. his family couldn’t care less about that day when he was a child, so why would he?

but, that changed when you came into his life. toji flinched when he heard a loud ‘pop!’ sound upon opening the front door to his apartment. he was used to those noises being one of danger and thus swiftly reached for the spare weapon in his pocket. . . only to notice you standing behind the door with a party popper and a homemade cake.

the older man froze in place for a good few seconds, though was quick to realise the situation and relax. after the initial shock died down, you excitedly dragged him off to the living room to show him the presents you bought.

toji's first reflex was to scold you for spending money on him. he had never gotten anything for his birthday—it was weird to finally receive something from someone who actually cares for him. it somehow made him feel guilty as well. was he worth spending money on?

toji’s impressed reactions when unwrapping the presents showed you exactly how foreign the moment was to him: he’s never opened any gifts before. that much was even more evident after witnessing his inexperience in peeling off the tape from the boxes.

eventually, after opening around seven gifts, toji got to unwrap his final present. the present which was you.

the way you innocently yet seductively whispered words of affection in his ears made his mind go blank. even if it were simple ‘i love you’s and ‘happy birthday’ wishes. the red dress you had on and how your figure looked in it made everything ten times more sexual to the assassin. anything after that was a complete blur. his body moved on its own and yours followed right after until you finally landed on top of him — riding him.

toji’s half-lidded eyes couldn’t get enough of the sight he's witnessing. maybe his birthday wasn't such a bad day after all; the loving memories you're currently creating would surely outbalance the negative ones.

you shake your head at toji’s earlier sentence and tighten your grip on his shoulders, nails lightly digging into his skin and leaving faint red marks. you almost can’t talk due to the overexertion—your hips continuously rising and falling back down for the sake of your lover, “i- mph, wanted to get you all those things. you deserve them, toji.”

the view of your small body trying its hardest to not give in to its need of an orgasm made the assassin dizzy. his large hands settle on your waist and his eyes watch your every move from behind his black bangs. toji silently hisses as he feels your tight cunt clenching around him, “. . . f-shit. easy there.”

your pretty face is his weakness. especially when your usual innocent look gets replaced by one filled with carnal desire. toji can easily get off to the idea of him having that effect on you—his words, body, looks and actions that corrupted your every being in intimate moments like these.

“such a sweet thing,” the dark-haired man coos, brushing the stray locks of hair away from your face with his index finger. his other hand rubs up and down your inner thigh, each time getting dangerously closer to your clit, though never getting a single touch in. the scarred corner of his lips twitch in an amused grin at your whines, “oh? want me to touch you there, princess? that what ya want?”

you nod without a second thought. you were trying your best to hold out for as long as your body allowed it — desperately wanting to reach your climax at the same time toji was going to — but the idea seems impossible the longer this continued.

your boyfriend grins smugly, raising his eyebrows before entirely removing his hands from your body. his arms rest behind his head as he reverts to simply enjoying the view of you riding him so well. toji can never not be mean to you. your little pouts only drive him to tease you more and more, “hm, well, ya see - i thought you were gonna spoil me today, not the other way around.”

“t-toji! tha's mean. . .” you huff, bottom lip trembling. your arms circle his neck and your upper body leans forward to rest against his chiseled chest. you stop your hip thrusts and instead grind against his pelvis, trying to stimulate your clit on your own.

toji clicks his tongue, but figured it was best to leave you be. he didn't want to be too rough on you today - you had been nothing but sweet to him the entire night. you had blessed him with his first, proper birthday experience as well.

“aww, my little girl ‘s pouting,” the older man snickers and his hands return to their place. he allows you to grind against him, the sensations being amazing for him as well. the tip of his cock almost reaches your cervix from the current angle and your bodily fluids smear all over his thighs and lower abdomen, “shh shh, ‘tis alright.”

your needy whines and moans are music to his ears. toji rubs your lower back and pats your ass every now and then, squeezing the soft flesh gently just to hear another whimper spill from your lips. there was no way you could hold back now. especially when your bodies were rubbing together and you could feel toji’s defined abs and hardened muscles underneath you.

“toji - nngh - can i? wan' — wanna cum.” your small hands tighten their grip around his broad shoulders. you earn a low, breathy chuckle from your lover. the increasing sensations in his lower stomach were an indication to how close he was to his orgasm as well. he wasn’t going to deny you any further.

toji sighs in content and presses a soft kiss to your temple, thumb rubbing your cheek gently. it was a rare occurence to see that vulnerable and affectionate look in his piercing green eyes. the little smile plastered on his face only added to the soft and intimate atmosphere.

. . . well, toji wouldn’t be toji if he wasn’t going to add catch you off guard in any way or form. your eyes widen and your body jolts forward as he suddenly starts putting work in—his hips ramming into yours from below, the skin-to-skin sounds resonating throughout the room once again. it was like the wind got knocked out of you for a good second, “fuck! w-wait, toji! tojitojitoji!”

the older man holds tightly onto you — cradling you in his arms as he lightly lifts your hips to have free reign over the pace and movements of your two bodies — thrusting up into you over and over. he lets out a series of small, silent groans as he feels his climax nearing;

“shit, yeah - ‘m gonna stuff this pussy of y’rs full, princess.” toji's callused fingers curl around your hip bones, using them as leverage to increase the intensity of his thrusts, “think you can take it all?”

you mewl and nod again and again. you’re on the brink of tears when the waves of pleasure reach their peak. your eyes roll back and your body convulses, legs shaking and squirming during those few seconds of pure bliss. your adorable babble in the form of toji’s name was all your lover needed to push him over the edge—

“fuck. ‘m gonna cum,” toji groans and firmly bites your shoulder to hold back any more noises when he finally decided to let go. a choked sob leaves your lips the instant you feel the hot spurts of cum seeping into your senstive cunt. the older man continues to thrust in and out sloppily, riding out his orgasm and fucking his cum deeper into you at the same time, “so good — i love you s’much.”

you smile exhaustedly at the love confession from your boyfriend. toji’s grip on you loosens up after he completely emptied his balls deep inside your cunt, his jaw finally unclenching. he plants a few wet kisses along the bite marks on your shoulder in attempt to soothe the pain.

you catch your breath as you rest on top of toji's body. he didn't put the slightest effort into pulling out of you — even as a tiny puddle of your mixed juices stains his skin.

“i love you too, toji,” you reply and earn another lazy kiss to your forehead. he rubs the back of your head and massages your plush thighs in a tender manner. nothing could make this moment even more perfect, you thought to yourself.

you smile as you pull your head back to look into toji’s eyes. he was already looking at you — admiring your gorgeous looks as you basked in the afterglow of your lovemaking. you capture his lips in a delicate kiss, “happy birthday.”

#sttoru writes. #jjk smut #jjk x reader #toji fushiguro x reader #toji x reader #toji smut #jjk x you #toji x you #female reader #i hate this ARGHHHH

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

my love if i may request a whiskey with dbf!joel or dbf!bucky with the prompt “i’ve wanted this for so long” and mayhaps if it’s not too much to ask for but some breeding kink👀👉🏻👈🏻

Promises, Promises.

warnings - smut. cursing.

I figured I'd make this dbf!bucky, because i've done a dbf!joel fic for this celebration already. y'all, I read the words dad's best friend and go fucking feral. this one got away from me.

3k celebration post here. 3k masterlist here.

You're the last person Bucky expected to be at his front door at 3am.

"What's wrong, honey?"

"Locked myself out of my goddamn house, and my parents are still on vacation. Can I crash here tonight? Please?"

Who is he to turn down an offer that tempting?

"Course. Come on, it's too cold for you to be stood out here."

The two of you sit down on his couch, settling in to watch some TV.

"Bucky Barnes. Are you watching a romcom?"

He blushes, a slight flush creeping up his cheeks.

"If you tell anyone, I'll kill you. They're my guilty pleasure."

"It makes me like you more, if anything," you grin. He can't help but smile back at you, less embarrassed now.

"Look, my love life is fuckin' terrible. I live vicariously through these cheesy films right now."

"You? Terrible love life? Those two phrases don't usually go in the same sentence."

You're teasing him. Seeing if you can get a rise, hit the right button.

"Oh, shut it. Just because you're on a new date every week."

"I'm... what?"

"Your Dad seems to think you're dating a lot."

You quirk a brow at him, amusement curling at the corners of your lips.

"Is that so?"

"I'm only telling you what I've heard, honey."

He crosses his arms across his chest, biceps threatening to break free from the confines of his t shirt.

"He's wrong."

"Is that so?"

You roll your eyes.

"I have a friend, he's a guy. My Dad automatically assumes we're dating because we hang out. But we're not."

"And why not?"

"I don't know, I guess he's just..." you debate your answer, realising it's now or never. "He's not old enough for me. Not mature enough."

Bucky bites his lip, eyes scanning your face.

"He's your age."

"Exactly. Boys my age don't know shit."

He laughs, but it's dark and low, something brewing beneath the surface.

"You always were too smart for your own good, huh?"

Bucky's thigh is pressing into yours, the warmth from his skin seeping through. His rough fingertips glide across your arm, slow and soft. He's testing the waters.

"I shouldn't want this," he murmurs, barely audible. "Neither should you."

"But I do," you whisper. "So fucking bad."

"Me too."

Bucky grabs the back of your neck, smashing his lips to yours. You grip at his hair, his biceps, his shirt - anything you can get a hold of. You feel like you're dreaming, your filthiest thoughts coming into fruition.

He pulls you into his lap so you're straddling his hips, grinding down and panting into his mouth. You're both breathless, but neither of you want to be the first to pull away.

Bucky rips your shirt over your head, instantly attacking your chest with kisses. He's marking you up, claiming you as his. You should be worried about the repercussions, but you're not.

You pull his shirt off and rake your nails down his front, grinning when he shivers. Suddenly, Bucky stands up, setting you on your feet.

"Strip."

You blink at him, processing.

"Strip, baby. I won't tell you again."

You shimmy your pants down your legs, your underwear going too. Your mouth waters as you watch him undress, admiring the angles and smooth ridges of him. A Greek God.

Bucky stalks over to you and hooks a foot behind your ankle, sending you both flying onto the rug on the floor. He cushions your fall, not letting go of you once. Running two fingers through your wet heat, he groans.

"All for me, pretty girl? What did I do to deserve somethin' this sweet, huh?"

"Need you," you whine. "Please, Buck."

"I've wanted this for so long," he murmurs, lining himself up. "Fuck, you're a dream."

You both gasp as he slides home, your back arching and his jaw falling slack. Bucky rests a hand against the base of your throat, the weight grounding you back down to Earth.

"Need you to move," you choke out. "Fuck, I need it, Buck. Please."

"Oh you need it, do you?" he smirks. "My needy girl."

He snaps his hips into yours in long, careful glides, very aware of the effect he has on you. Before long, his restraint snaps, and his thrusts get harder, quicker, more frantic.

"Gonna fill you up, baby," he's muttering under his breath. "Make you mine. You want that? To have everyone know who you belong to?"

You're nodding rapidly, tears gathering in your eyes, bottom lip caught between your teeth.

"How are we gonna keep this a secret if you're pregnant, huh?"

The thought makes you moan, a breathy, gutteral sound.

"You like that? Want me to make you a mommy? Fuck, I'll give you everything you ask for. I'll buy you a house and knock you up, you'll never want for anything."

His low, honeyed words throw you over the edge, squeezing and clenching around him. Bucky groans, deep and rumbled, the sound vibrating through the both of you. You find your releases together, panting and out of breath.

"House first."

"Huh?" he breathes, raising his head from your chest.

"Buy me a house first. Kids second. Maybe marriage in between."

He laughs, floating and content. You both know he meant what he said, not just a heat of the moment confession.

You stay wrapped up in each other for hours, on the rug in front of the fire.

You'll deal with the repercussions later.

#bucky smut #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x reader #dbf!bucky barnes x reader #dbf bucky barnes #dbf!bucky barnes #dbf!bucky #dadsbestfriend!bucky x reader #dadsbestfriend!bucky barnes #dadsbestfriend!bucky barnes x reader #dadsbestfriend!bucky #marvel imagine #marvel x reader #marvel smut #murphy's 3k celebration #bucky barnes #dad's best friend bucky barnes

[sourcherryandsprinkles]

Conrad deserves better than Belly. After he sees Jere and her kiss, he get his ass to Stanford and meet this cute and smart maybe tutor girl (Haley James style) and falls in love with her and then they show up at Jere's wedding years later and Belly is jelly

I've spent the last five days working on this one.

p.s. it's 2k words...

my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time

—

When Conrad finished his exam, he went back to Jeremiah and Belly. He was going to tell and confess his love to her before she had to get home, but when he got to his car, the scene Conrad walked on made him sick to his stomach: Belly and Jeremiah were full on making out against his car. He stopped short of the car and cleared his throat, causing the two to spring apart from their heated kiss and see Conrad looking right at them. 

Conrad’s face was white. He would rather have had someone shoot him in the head with a nail gun, repeatedly, than have to watch the two of them kissing.

He didn't know who he was more angry at. Belly, who, not even a day ago, had told him she would have fought harder for him if she knew he loved her that much. Or Jeremiah, who, although he knew how much Belly meant to his brother and how fucking in love he was with her, seized the opportunity to kiss Belly the moment he was alone with her.

‘’Conrad—’’ Belly started, guilt settling in her guts. 

He cut her off, his voice cold and cutting. ‘’I don’t want to hear it.’’ 

His gaze shifted from Belly to Jeremiah. There was so much hate in his eyes. How could Jere do that to him? They agreed to stop hiding things from each other and talk, but Jeremiah must have forgotten already. 

‘’You broke up with her, Con, remember? We did nothing wrong,’’ Jeremiah said, pulling facts in his favor to make himself feel better — less guilty — for kissing his brother’s ex.  

When Conrad kissed Belly on the beach last summer, he didn’t know she and Jeremiah were a thing — if he could call it that — or that he liked her. If he had, he wouldn’t have kissed Belly or confessed his feelings to her. Had the situation had been in reverse, Conrad wasn’t sure Jeremiah would have backed off. 

‘’I’m done.’’ Conrad's voice was resolute, his heart heavy as he turned away, unable to bear the sight of them any longer.

Jeremiah moved to follow, calling out Conrad's name. He didn’t stop, needing to be as far as possible from the painful scene. His mind was racing with a jumble of emotions. Anger, betrayal, and a profound hurt gnawed at him. He had trusted both Belly and Jeremiah, yet they pulled this shit behind his back. 

‘’Why do you always have to act like that?’’ Jeremiah said as he quickened his pace to catch up. 

Finally, Conrad turned to face Jeremiah, his expression a mix of sorrow and resentment. ‘’You don’t get to tell me how to react, Jere. You kiss the girl I love outside my school, against my car while she’s wearing my sweatshirt. If you don’t see how disgusting and messed up it all sounds—’’

‘’She kissed me,’’ the younger one quickly defended. 

 Hearing this made him want to pack his bags, get his ass to stanford and focus on school. He needed to turn the Belly page, and in order to do that, he needed to be away from both she and Jeremiah. California seemed far enough, right?

*

The first days and weeks were tough for Conrad, struggling to accept the definite end of the relationship. She was still all over him like a wine-stained shirt he couldn’t wear anymore. 

He blocked both Belly and Jeremiah’ numbers. If he wanted to move on, he had to keep his distance from them. For a while, at least. Then, he deleted all the old pictures he kept of Belly on his phone. There was no going back for them anymore. 

He was done.

*

You met Conrad a little before Christmas break. Just like those cliché rom-coms, you walked right into him and spilled your chai latte all over his sweater. You wanted to break the cliché and not fall for the victim of your clumsiness, but after one look into those beautiful blue eyes, you knew it would be impossible. 

 After that day, you kept crossing paths around campus and, one afternoon, you asked him out. He was so surprised, but he said ‘yes’. 

Although you had sealed the end of the night with a few kisses, you decided to take things slow. You had a very busy schedule with the tutoring lessons on top of your regular program, and Conrad was unsure if it was too soon to get in another relationship, if he was ready for it. The scar Belly had left on his heart was healing, but was he ready to open his heart to someone again? 

‘’Have you ever been in love?’’ you asked one night in his dorm while studying. 

Your question had caught Conrad off guard. It was visible on his face. 

‘’Have you?’’ he returned, not taking his eyes off his textbook. 

He was trying to dodge the question. 

‘’I asked you first,’’ you said, seeing through his plan.

‘’Then yes.’’

‘’How many times?’’

‘’Once.’’

His answers were flat, annoyed he was by all your questions. He wished you would stop and get back to studying in silence, but you kept going. 

‘’On a scale of one to ten, how in love were you?’’

‘’You can’t put being in love on a scale,’’ he said, lifting his head with furrowed eyebrows. ‘’Either you are or you aren’t.’’

‘’But if you had to say.’’

Conrad started flipping through his notes. He hadn’t thought of Belly in months. He missed her — in a different way he used to. She was his friend before they got tangled into this mess.

He didn’t look at you when he finally said it. ‘’Ten.’’

*

The more time he spent in your presence, the more Conrad was — unknowingly — letting go of his past. 

The pictures he deleted months ago became pictures of you, filling his phone until there was no space left. The smell of your perfume lingered on some of his clothes and in his car. He had your coffee order memorized, along with your favorite study-break snack, which he made sure to have in stock in his dorm. 

You became part of his routine — part of his life —, brightening his days even on his darkest, saddest nights. 

He didn’t want to bother you, but nothing was calming the ache in his chest. He tried getting some air and smoking weed, he even thought of calling Laurel, but it was almost 2am in Pennsylvania. Conrad didn’t want to scare her. 

So he pulled up your contact and called, the weight of his grief still heavy in his heart, wishing Susannah was still there. He couldn't believe a full year had gone by since she took her last breath. 

You were about to slip into bed when you saw his name flashing on your phone. You almost didn’t pick up, but you got a gut feeling that he needed you. 

When you opened your door, a saddened look was etched onto Conrad's face, his beautiful eyes glistening with unshed tears. The sight pulled at your heart and you wrapped your arms around him, holding him for the whole night.

Supported each other through finals and all-nighters.

‘’Getting tired?’’ you said, catching him actively fighting against his own eyelids. 

Conrad shook his head, taking a long gulp of his coffee. ‘’No time for sleep. I have this huge exam first thing tomorrow and I still have a lot of chapters to cover.’’

‘’You can take a short nap if you want. I’ll wake you in thirty minutes,’’ you kindly offered, flipping through your notes for a specific annotation. 

‘’Nah, I’m good.’’ He flashed you a soft smile, then returned to his studying. 

A few minutes later, and you couldn't help but notice that Conrad's eyes had begun to droop. They would halfway close and then he would either blink a bunch of times, or widen his eyes until they were bug eyed. It was cute.

‘’Con? Conrad?’’ you called out gently. 

‘’I'm not sleeping. I'm resting my eyes,’’ he mumbled defensively, fighting fatigue.

There was no way he was getting through the night, so you put your notes down and slipped on Conrad’s flannel shirt that was on the back of your chair to shield you from the night air. ‘’We’re gonna need more coffee.’’ 

As you came back with two fresh cups of coffee, you found Conrad fast asleep on your pillow, still clutching his pen.

And held his hand through the rainiest times — literally.

‘’Isn't California supposed to be the sunniest state?’’ Conrad asked, watching the downpour through the windshield, drenched from head to toe. ‘’The seats are all wet...’’ 

‘’You gotta learn to live with the consequences of your own actions, Connie baby.’’ 

It was his idea to get waffles when the sky was looking very gray and angry. He insisted that it would clear out, but a loud clap of thunder echoed on your way back to the car and rain started pouring. You took the road back to campus, but it got too dangerous, forcing Conrad to stop the car on the shoulder of the road and wait for the rain to calm. 

You wiped your face with the sleeve of your hoodie and a smile curled on Conrad’s lips, still the most beautiful to his eyes despite your wet hair and the slight smear of mascara under your eyes. 

 ‘’Rain happens everywhere. Even in the dryest desert,’’ you reminded him, pulling out your phone to check the weather app.‘’Unfortunately, this one isn't gonna stop anytime soon.’’

You toed off your sneakers, making Conrad draw his eyebrows.

‘’What are you doing?’’

‘’We’re gonna be here for a while.’’ You peeled off your hoodie — also wet from the rain —, leaving you in your skirt and dainty bralette. ‘’Might as well occupy ourselves,’’ you explained before leaning over the middle console and kissing him, fastening yourself to him with a stitch. 

The kiss took him by surprise, but he wasn’t complaining. He could spend hours kissing you and never get bored. 

You crawled over the console and on Conrad’s lap without breaking contact, your hands easily finding grip on his hair as you felt his hands all over your body, caressing and pulling. The windows were fogging quickly around you, creating a veil of privacy as more layers were peeled off.

Conrad once believed he had found love, that Belly was it for him, but the feelings he felt back then were nothing compared to how he felt right now. 

‘’You’re the best thing that happened to me,’’ he confessed, his forehead pressed against yours. 

*

The invitation came in a few weeks before the wedding. Conrad couldn’t believe his brother was going through with this. Everything was happening so fast and seemed rushed. Him and Belly weren’t even twenty. Who gets married so young anymore? 

He arrived in Cousins a few days prior to the wedding, surprising everyone — and stealing the attention from the soon-to-be-weds — when they saw a girl with him. 

The only person who knew exactly who you were was Steven. A few months ago, you had posted a picture with Conrad at the beach and tagged him, leading to Steven finding out about his friend’s new girlfriend. He was surprised when he saw it, but very happy for Conrad. He deserved better than someone who plays between two hearts. 

Laurel put down the table-center she was holding and went over to pull Conrad in a hug. She turned to you, making quick introductions, and Conrad held his breath. He’s always been close to Laurel and her approval meant more to him than his father’s or Jeremiah’s. 

While the two of you engaged into a conversation, he saw her. Belly. Dressed in a white sundress and talking to Taylor, she looked just the same. The only difference was, Conrad felt nothing. No pain, no old feelings rising back. 

For the first time, what’s past was past.

‘’Belly, come greet Connie and his girlfriend,’’ Laurel called out to her daughter. 

Although you had never met her, you could tell exactly who she was in the room — and not only because her dress was white. The jealousy filling her eyes when they fell on you gave her away.

—

All and more taglist: @spiokybirdstarfish @kenqki @liidiaaag @hawkegfs  @gillybear17  @areaderinlove @acornacreacure @black-rose-29 @fudge13 @cece05 @rosie-cameron @Caxddce @laylasbunbunny @gemofthenight @beautyb1ade  @hi-bored-as-fcuk-rn  @lovelyy-moonlight @mellabella101 @vxnity713  @marzipaanz  @bisexualgirlsblog @queenofslytherin889 @thatbxtchesblog @softb-tterfly @ethanlandrycanbreakmyheart  @xyzstar  @graceberman3  @Heartsforneteyamsully  @aerangi  @hallecarey1  @bxbyyyjocelyn @mikeyspinkcup

TSITP taglist: @msmarvelknight  @maritaleane @dingus0401 @idontknowwhatimdoing777 @nomorespahgetti @lomlolivia @5sosbands @bloodyhw @depthsofdespairr @a-band-aid-for-your-heart @gilbertscurls @brandirouse86 @leilani-nichole @Veescorneroftheworld @papayaboyluvr  @bchindureyes @bellysbeach  @slytherinambitious @darylscvmdumpster  @johannelis2302nely  @aqshua @foockingasshole @straberryshortcake143 @luiise

#conrad fisher #conrad fisher imagine #conrad fisher x reader #the summer i turned pretty #the summer i turned pretty imagine #tsitp #conrad fisher fanfic #conrad fisher x you

[tanaor]

Don't know how to create hooking character arcs?

(✨Dos and don'ts in character arc creation, part 1: don'ts✨)

Every writer knows that's a good character arc is something hard to achieve, and that there is usually a very fine line between making your characters evolve to the better and making them change completely... But don't worry! That's why today I wanted to share some of my tips to give your characters that something that will make their transformative journey unique, and also make your readers fall in love with them. So, let's get right to it!

DON'TS

1. Don't make your characters passive.

Your story needs someone strong to fight against whatever you are planning to put them trough! Making your characters strong doesn't necessary mean creating buff characters, but a good character will always have that *something* that can always push them to their try best. Could be a goal, a loved one, an ideology...

2. Don't give your characters some random disaster for no reason.

Of course, this things sometimes happen, but the best kind of disasters are the ones your character has put themselves into: they have no one else to blame (even if they tried). This are the disasters you should be pressuring for your characters, because they will teach your character something. Maybe your character was very egocentric during most of the story, and now they are alone. You can now either make them realize, or start a villain character arc were they believe the world has made them like that...

3. Don't make the decisions easy.

During the story, your character will have to take a lot of decisions, including many important ones, but here is the deal... Most of them shouldn't be easy. Make it hard for them to decide, make the decisions something that they feel guilty of, make them think that, maybe, "there really was a better alternative". Also remember that when taking hard decisions, characters usually decide what they think will make them suffer less: that's what we call pain vs pain.

4. Don't make everything terrible.

Remember: there's always calm before the storm. And, if you give your characters a false sense of victory, failure will always hurt more. (Even if you don't plan your characters to fail, it's a good technique to use before eventually everything comes down).

5. Don't be afraid of giving the character the ending they deserve.

When the story ends, you should be capable of naming at least three mayor changes in your character. But, of course, when the story ends you also want your readers to think "yes, that's what needed to happen". So, writers: don't be afraid. If the character deserves a bad ending, give it to them. If they deserve to succeed, let them win. Each story is different, but there will always be that ending that you feel is the right thing... Believe me, if a character deserves to fail, I'll want them to fail at the end, and there is not a feeling as good as someone getting what they deserve, what they have been earning since page one.

I wish this was helpful, and if you are interested keep tuned for the part 2: dos in writing character arcs. Happy writing everybody!!

Other tips for writers: previous | next

#character arcs #writeblr #writing #writer #writers #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #writers of tumblr #creative writing #character development #current wip #writing tips #tips for writers #tips #tips for character arcs

[gurugirl]

ex-boyfriend's dad!harry part 3

Summary: You get to try things with Harry you never had the chance to before but the more you get to know him the more of him you want. And that's a problem.

A/N: This full series is already live on Patreon, with all 4 parts up! Part 4 will be posted here in one week.

Word Count: 8.3k

Series Warnings: explicit content, smut (including anal, rough blow jobs), age gap, angst, daddy kink, dom/sub dynamics, spanking, choking, slight degradation, use of small implements (collar and leash, anal plug)

Part 3 Warnings: 18+ only, smut (including spitting, spanking, use of toys, a leash, & anal with a dildo), daddy kink, unwanted feelings of attachment, angst, age gap, sub/dom dynamics

ex-boyfriend's dad!harry masterlist

. . .

Harry thought he’d feel more guilty once the reality of what he was doing hit him. Fucking his son’s ex-girlfriend. But instead, he only felt delighted that you were even interested. He was disappointed in Tyler, to be honest. The more he learned about how he’d treated you, the less Harry was worried about what Tyler might think. His son never deserved you.

And he wasn’t just excited that he had an open invitation for kinky hot sex with a lovely young woman who wanted to learn the ropes but he was also excited because you were sweet and he trusted you. You trusted him just the same which was why it was such a fantastic arrangement.

When he saw your text the moment he left your apartment - Can you come over tonight? He couldn’t stop grinning to himself all day.

So he packed a bag on the off chance you’d want him to stay the whole weekend, and he had a few things he wanted to bring that he could introduce you to.

You were already raring to go the moment you let him into your apartment. You wanted to try so many things and get started right away but Harry had other plans as he pulled you in by your neck and planted a big kiss on your lips as he dropped his leather duffel bag by the front door.

“Let’s talk first. Okay? Remember I told you we’d go over rules and boundaries? We still need to do that.” He pushed you toward your couch, walking you backward with his hand wrapped around the front of your throat.

That gesture of dominance alone had you hot. And Harry could tell you liked it.

You both sat on your couch, “Sorry. Just got so excited. I trust whatever you like and want to try.”

Harry grinned, “I’m excited too,” he softly smoothed his hand up your thigh, “Just want to get a few things out of the way first and then we can get to it.”

You nodded and angled yourself toward him, “Okay. You’re right.”

“I know I am,” he squeezed your thigh, “How was work?”

You laughed, “Work? Is that what you want to talk about?”

Harry sighed and sat back against the cushion, “Yeah. Why not? Are you in a hurry and suggesting we don’t have time to talk about how our day was?”

“No. I didn’t mean that. I’m not in a hurry. Just thought… I don’t know,” you shrugged, “I think it would be nice to talk. I didn’t really know what to expect when you got here I guess.”

“Well, let’s start with this,” he rubbed his hand over the top of your thigh in this way that had you feeling a little calmer. “So tell me how your day was.”

You recounted various parts of your day, but nothing that was particularly interesting. The most fascinating thing had been Harry, obviously. And now he was sitting on your couch with a hand on your thigh and his eyes searing into you.

“And what about you? How was your day?” You hesitantly put your hand over Harry’s and began to play with his rings.

“Normal. Except for the little secret I carried with me all day. Couldn’t stop thinking about last night. How do you feel about everything?”

You lifted your bum to tuck your leg underneath yourself and licked your lips, “Well… I liked everything you did. I had a lot of fun. I want more.”

Harry watched you wiggle and adjust your seating with a smirk, “Okay. We can do more. Are you feeling sad about Tyler or anything like that?”

You shook your head, “No. Absolutely not. I think you kind of erased him from my mind. It’s already better with you.”

He nodded, “Cause if we keep seeing each other, at some point, there’s a chance he’s going to find out. If I have you over one night I’m not gonna want you to keep quiet,” he brought a hand up to your jaw, “I don’t want to rub it in his face or anything, but we can only keep so quiet can’t we?”

You grinned and nodded. Just the thought of your ex hearing his dad fucking you made you wet. What was wrong with you?

“Let’s talk about using colors for things you like and don’t like. Yeah?”

You nodded again.

“Green means you like everything I’m doing. With no hesitation. I’ll ask you occasionally what your color is and if you’re green we’ll keep going. Understood?”

Another nod of your head as you kept your eyes pinned to his.

“Good. Yellow and red will stop everything. For yellow, if you ever feel like you might not like something but you aren’t sure, that’s yellow. We’ll talk about it and change it up if we need to or explore it more if you want. You need to say yellow if you ever get to the point of being unsure and you don’t need to wait for me to check in. Got it?”

“Yes.”

“Now red means we’re done with the session. That means I’ve gone too far and didn’t pay attention to your cues. We’ll discuss what went wrong and we’ll never do it again. It means you unquestionably did not like something and that it’s not something you ever want to try again. You’ll say red even if I don’t check in if you get to this point. However, we want to avoid red. That’s what yellow is for. Red means we’re not in synch and this won’t work if we’re not communicating. Makes sense?”

You nodded again.

“Now, explain to me what your colors mean. I want to make sure you understand it clearly so there’s no confusion when it’s needed.”

You cleared your throat and spoke, with as much confidence as you could muster. You already knew about the traffic light system but you’d never been in a relationship where it was going to be used. You appreciated Harry’s thoroughness.

“Green means all good and that I like what’s happening. If something doesn’t feel as good that I want to come back to later or like… I’m not sure if I enjoy it I’ll say yellow. And red means I don’t like something. I’ll tell you my color when you check in but if I feel yellow or red I’ll tell you right away without waiting for you to check. And… red is something we want to avoid,” you licked your lips and nodded.

“Very good. Anything you want to ask or say before we get started? I can just feel the excitement bubbling off of you honey.”

You laughed and looked down at your lap before tilting your head back up to look at him, “I just want you to kind of lead. I loved giving you a blow job last night. I want more of that. Want it like… maybe, even more rough today. I just want to feel like,” you puffed out an embarrassed laugh, “Want to feel like I’m being used. Kind of like you need to teach me a lesson or something. Like I’ve been bad.”

“Oh yeah? You like to be punished then? Maybe you want Daddy to tell you how bad you’ve been? What a naughty girl you are. Only way to set you straight is to fuck your face and spank your ass?” He had a teasing grin on his face.

You swallowed and nodded, “Yeah. Exactly.” You ran your hand up his thigh and kept your eyes on his.

“Do you feel like only good girls get to have orgasms, Y/n?”

You nodded again, “Yeah. Only when I’m good I’m allowed.”

Harry grinned and hummed, “I think I see. Go into your bedroom and take all of the toys out that you like to use on yourself. Line them up on your bed for me so I can take count.”

You got up from the couch and Harry followed you to your bedroom and watched as you pulled a large box from your dresser and then laid it on your bed.

Removing each of your toys and placing them on your comforter.

There was your basic silicon dildo, then the slim one you used on yourself for anal. You had three plugs in different sizes, a clit sucker that had lost charge the last time you used it, a normal-sized purple vibrator, a massaging wand (that was meant to be a back massager but you’d never used it for its intended purpose) then a tiny pocket vibrator you’d only used a handful of times. Plus condoms, lube, and a leather strap that could double as a collar and leash in one.

Harry watched you straighten out everything and picked up the leather strap, “Is this a leash?”

You nodded, “Yeah. I bought it last year but I’ve never used it. Thought it would be fun to try but… well I didn’t want to use it alone in case something went wrong.”

He nodded and kept the leather in his hands as he looked at everything else you had lined up.

“Good. This is excellent. You’ve got some great toys here. Which is your favorite?”

You laughed and ran your hands over the basic vibrator, “I love this. It just vibrates my insides and it’s quiet so I can use it even if my roommate is home. Also this,” you picked up your clit sucker, “It works super fast. Can make me come in like two minutes if I’m in a hurry.”

Harry smiled and took the clit sucker from you to click it on but it was dead.

“Oh… it ran out of charge. I use it a lot.”

He dropped it on your bed and looked you up and down, “Bet you do. Poor thing didn’t ever get her pussy licked properly. Had to take care of herself. But Daddy’s here for that now. Isn’t he?”

You watched his jaw clench as he stepped directly in front of you and he cupped your chin in his palm as you nodded.

“Anything else you use that isn’t here?”

It was like he could read your mind somehow. Like he could see it on your face that you had a little secret.

You nodded and felt your face heat up, “Yeah. One more thing.”

Harry cocked his head, “And where is it?”

You laughed quietly and looked away from his eyes, “It’s in my… bottom.”

He released your face and took a step back, “Get your clothes off.”

You pulled your shirt off quickly and then your pants before moving your hands up to the band of your bra to take it off. You watched Harry closely as you removed every article of fabric that covered you until your panties were on the floor and you were standing naked before him.

“Well? Are you going to show me willingly or do you need me to force you to bend over so I can see what it is you have tucked in your bum?”

Harry knew very well what you had inside of your ass. You had a fourth plug and he wanted to see it. Liked that you’d put it in when you knew he was coming over. You were indeed a dirty little thing and he was going to have a lot of fun with you.

This was what you liked. It’s what you had been wanting. Something about his tone made it clear that he was in charge. The spike of adrenaline that notched its way up every vertebra in your spine gave you a disjointed, hazy sensation that spread over your limbs.

You turned and stepped in toward your bed before leaning down to press your palms onto the mattress next to your bottle of lube. You turned to look over your shoulder at the man who was right behind you, towering over you as he laid his palms on your hips and glued his eyes to the space between your legs and then just up to where you had the prettiest of your anal plugs snuggled tight in your bum.

Harry’s eyes shot to yours and you felt one of his hands drag up your spine to the back of your neck and he pressed your cheek down into the mattress, “When did you put this in?”

“I… after I got home from work today. Two hours ago.”

His hand stayed at the back of your neck as you felt his other hand move toward your bottom and then tap the pink glass plug making you jump, “And why did you put it in?”

“Wanted it to be pretty for you.” You gulped down your saliva and tried peeking at him from your peripheral but it was impossible.

“For me? Well, that was awfully sweet of you. And how did you do it? What is your method of putting one of these in?” He gently twisted the glass a half turn and you moaned.

“Uh… I work myself up thinking about something sexy. Finger myself a little bit and then put lube over everything and slowly twist it in until it’s fit inside.”

“And what did you think about this time that got you all worked up?” His voice was suddenly closer and you could see the outline of him leaning over your back.

You closed your eyes as you felt the fabric of his pants brush against the back of your thighs, “You, Daddy.”

Harry hummed in satisfaction as he let go of the back of your neck, and you felt both of his hands on your ass, keeping you spread for him.

“Has anyone else ever seen how pretty you look with one of these in?”

“No. It’s always just been in private.” You don’t think you’d ever felt in such a vulnerable position with a man before. To have someone standing behind you in your bedroom while you were bent over naked showing him your pink glass anal plug made your skin heat up all over.

“So I’m the first person who’s been given permission to see you like this?”

“Yes. You’re the first.”

“And what should we do with this right now? Hmm? You’re being such a good girl for Daddy I think it’s only fair you choose what’s next.”

You already knew what you wanted. It was all you could think about the whole day. At work, while you ate lunch, on the way home… You wanted his cock down your throat again.

“I want you to fuck my face. Please.”

Harry laughed and you felt him move away, his hands no longer on you anymore, “Is that so? Couldn’t get enough of my cock down your throat, baby?”

You shook your head no with your cheek still smushed in the comforter, “No. I need more. I want to try to be better.”

You heard Harry remove his belt and watched it drop onto the mattress as the buckles clanked together before the sound of a zipper and then fabric hitting the ground had you straining to see behind you.

“Good girls get what they want, Y/n. And since you’re practically being an angel I’ll fuck your face if that’s what you want. Turn around to face me.”

You stood up and faced Harry, noticing he was naked now, his thickened cock in his palm, as he placed his free hand at the back of your head and ran his lips over yours for a moment, mouths slotting together until he broke the kiss and let go of the back of your head, “Pick up the leather strap and get on your knees.”

A small grin quirked up on your face as you did as he said and lowered to your floor, your knees digging into your cotton rug with the leather strap in your hands.

He reached down to tilt your face upward, “Look at this pretty face and those soft lips,” he cooed at you as he pushed at your bottom lip with his thumb, “You sure you want this? Because when I’m done with you you’re gonna have tears running down your cheeks and drool dripping from your swollen lips down your chin. Bruised knees and maybe a bruised throat even. It’s gonna make it hard for you to talk.”

You nodded and tightened your grip on the strap as you looked from his dick to his face, “I want it, Daddy.”

He looked over your face with an amused smile on his lips and bent down to press his lips to yours, “Then Daddy wants it too.”

Harry reached his palm down for the leather strap and wrapped the material around your neck, hooking the thin leather into a notch that was tight, but not so tight you’d lack oxygen.

With his hand stroking his cock right in front of your face he pulled the strap back making your head tilt with it, “Color?”

Your eyes wobbled from the tight fist he had around the strap to his eyes, “Very green.”

Harry gave you a dimpled grin that felt so much sweeter than the moment called for, “Very green.  Good.”

He pulled at the strap, moving your face to his cock, “Get it nice and wet. Want to see that tongue cover every inch of my cock before you’re allowed to suck on it.”

Opening your mouth and sticking out your tongue you began to lap at the skin along his length. Pushing saliva out of your mouth and pressing it over his cock slowly as you kept your eyes up toward his and you could feel the strap pulling at your neck, guiding you along his shaft.

You moaned when you flattened your tongue over his slit and his mouth parted. Even though he didn’t make any noises to indicate he liked it, you could see it on his face.

With every line and curve of his cock wetted, he dragged you back to his tip, pressing it to your lips, “Time to suck now, Y/n. Still want Daddy to fuck your throat?”

You nodded, your lips brushing over his ruddy crown, “Yes.”

“You won’t be able to speak once I’m sliding into the back of your throat,” his finger squeezed the outsides of your neck around the strap, “So you need to pinch me here,” he took your hand and made you hold onto his sturdy thigh, “Do you understand?”

Another nod as you kept your eyes on his.

“Give it a test pinch. Let me see what you’ll do if you need air or need me to stop.”

You pinched his skin under your thumb and pointer finger but Harry tutted at you, “Harder. I need you to be serious about the way you do this so I can feel it, honey. When my balls are tucked against your chin and you’re swallowing around me I’m not gonna feel a puny pinch like that. Try again.”

You puffed out a breath and pinched harder. A pinch you knew he’d feel without question.

“There you go. That’s the one. Stung like a fucker. You ready, baby?”

You smiled, “Ready, Daddy.”

Harry softly shook his head as he looked at you proudly before he forced your mouth back against his tip and the moment you parted your lips he was yanking you down his cock. He didn’t push his whole length in on the first go but he did get deep enough that your eyes widened and you pulled in a deep breath through your nose to prepare for the next thrust.

And the next one was the same; deep but not punishing. And then the third until you’d figured out the rhythm and your tongue cradled the underside of his cock and he let out a deep breath that had you feeling pleased with yourself.

When you felt him slide deeper and your sinuses stung your mouth began to water involuntarily. His deep breaths turned into pants as he kept his hand tight around the strap to hold you in place and he started to thrust deeper.

“Fuckin’ so pretty for me, baby,” he spoke as he looked down at you, hips rocking smoothly, slowly getting you ready for what was to come. “Already drooling and we haven’t even gotten to the good part yet.”

You couldn’t help the saliva that was dripping out of your mouth. His cock sliding over your tongue and nudging at the roof of your mouth activated your salivary glands.

You hollowed your cheeks and sucked as you peeked up at him.

“Take a deep breath in through your nose,” he spoke.

You sucked oxygen into your lungs as he slid his tip back to your lips and then the sudden plunge of his cock over your tongue had you immediately gagging. With your neck held in place, Harry bucked his hips into your mouth and you felt him curve down your throat, and again, and again.

You began to sputter as you felt tears slip down your cheeks and then suddenly his hips were pressed against you as he rocked in and moaned loudly. You couldn’t breathe as you gagged around him, your natural reflex was to swallow and gurgle.

But it was his deep guttural moan that kept you focused. You were making him feel good. And that was all you wanted.

“That’s it, isn’t it? Like how it feels don’t you, little girl?”

You moaned and tried to look up at him but your eyes were bleary and all you could see was the skin on his hips and the dark ink of his laurel tattoos as he continued pressing you down on him.

“Bet your little plug is feeling so good too… fuck…” Harry pulled himself back as you coughed and a gush of spit dripped down your chin and to the floor.

He chuckled when you tried to tilt forward to put him back in your mouth, “Go on then. Suck Daddy off. Just so desperate to gag on it aren’t you?”

You moaned as you curved your tongue under his cock and lowered yourself. Harry let you take the reins for a bit as you forced your mouth down and felt his tip press past your tonsils and you gagged again with your eyes tightly squeezed shut.

The only thing you had on your brain was to get him off. To please him. You wanted him to come more than you wanted to rub your own clit to get yourself off.

Every time you dipped down and the deeper you went the further away any other thoughts became. Everything was all about getting him to come.

Harry grunted and then you felt the strap pulling at your neck again to hold you in place as he began to fuck himself down your throat.

His cock was already twitching at the way your mouth engulfed him in wet heat, the way your throat constricted around his tip and frenulum every time you gagged and swallowed. His heart was pounding the closer he got to his own release and he recognized you were taking him like a pro. Like you’d been choking on cocks for years. It’d been a long time since anyone he’d been with liked this sort of thing.

And you loved it.

With your palms on his muscled thighs, the gargled noises coming from your mouth, the drool on the floor, and your pussy slippery wet you moaned deeply around him as more tears fell down your skin and mixed with the saliva leaking from your lips.

He pulled back again, letting you suck in just enough air so he could do it all over again. When you felt the thatch of his hair pressing into your nose, the leather strap pinching the skin on your neck as you were held in place, he groaned and you could feel his thighs begin to tremble just before he pulled his cock all the way out of your mouth.

You gasped and coughed as you leaned forward, spit dribbling out of your mouth and making a puddle on your rug.

The nip of the strap on your neck had you looking up at him through wet lashes and then you felt his hands under your arms helping you stand on wobbly legs, “Color?”

You heaved and grasped onto his arms, “Green.”

“Good. I’m gonna finish off inside of your pretty pussy. How’s that sound?”

You nodded, “Yes, Daddy.” You were somewhat knocked off kilter from the sudden change in position as he pushed you onto the bed, making you bend over for him on your hands and knees with your feet hanging off.

He took your hips in his hands and stood behind you, his feet on the floor as you automatically pressed your face into the comforter. You felt the spray of spit over your pussy and you moaned as you arched your back and pushed your bum back toward him.

His hands smoothed down to your ass and you felt his thumb press on the glass piece sticking out of your bum, “Look at how soaked you are, baby. You really do like sucking cock don’t you?”

You smiled and sighed, “Yes. Love it, Daddy.”

Harry grinned, though you couldn’t see it as he painted his thick crown through your puffy folds, slicking himself back and forth, “Fuck yourself on it. Get yourself off on my cock.”

You felt him poking at your entrance so you pressed yourself back as Harry kept his length steady in his hand.

“There you go, baby, just like that. Let me see you work for it, honey.”

You swiveled your hips and pushed yourself down further, feeling his girth open you up.

Harry pressed into you, holding you tight by your hips and then he pushed you further into the bed making you scoot up a few feet. He followed behind you spreading his thighs and getting onto his knees behind you, “Keep going, baby.”

When you felt his hand press at the back of your neck to keep you down you moaned and began to swivel your hips. And even though you were supposed to be the one fucking yourself on him, you could feel his subtle thrusts, working himself into you deeper with his thighs.

The little plug was a tight squeeze in your ass with his cock inside of you but it felt so good. Every movement of your hips made the plug shift slightly and even Harry could feel the hard glass pressing through your anus against his cock in your pussy.

The cry that fell from your mouth when he began twisting the plug inside of you had him chuckle, “You okay, Y/n?”

You whimpered a yes as you continued circling your hips, pressing your cunt over his cock wetly.

But then suddenly Harry let go of your neck and you felt both of his hands on your ass as he held you still and began fucking himself into you.

The switch in sensation had your body tingling as he dipped in so far you felt the wind punched from your lungs.

Harry’s own moans grew louder and more desperate with each strike of his hips against your ass but then he leaned over your back and you felt his fingers sliding through your crease until he bumped into your clit and ran the pads of his fingers in circles against your neglected nub.

You gasped at the relief as Harry rocked inward, his hips pasted to your ass.

“Daddy it’s so deep!” You whimpered with his cock fully impaled into your cunt. He couldn’t have been deeper if he tried.

“I know baby,” he inhaled breathily with a moan as he continued pressing in, in, in… his back and his thighs flexing with every push.

He wasn’t going hard but he was achingly deep with his fingers at your clit and the plug tight in your bum, everything felt just right. But when you felt his lips on your neck you began to quiver and you could feel that yummy sparkle start to spread over your thighs and through your core.

His breath against the shell of your ear sent chills down your neck and over your shoulders as your body began to tense and your walls gripped his cock tightly.

“You need to come, baby? Yeah? It’s feeling so good, isn’t it?”

Your mouth dropped open as you choked out a pathetic wail, “Oh my god! Yes!”

When your pussy began to spasm over him he groaned at the feel of you coming, “There we go… Can’t help yourself, can you? Know you never had it like this before, honey. Your pussy deserves to feel so good,” Harry’s words fell over your neck and you could hear how far gone he was as he babbled filth into your ear, “Needed Daddy’s cock to make it better, yeah?”

You couldn’t answer as you clenched the blankets in your fists and your body shivered in your orgasm.

“Fuck baby… squeezing around me so good,” he spoke through clenched teeth, “Gonna stuff your little fertile pussy full of my come, okay?”

You whined an obnoxiously loud Yes, Daddy! into the room and you heard him cough out a deep groan before his cock began to pump and throb inside of you. Your own orgasm still making your pussy clench around him tightly, milking his shaft and sucking him dry.

Harry rocked into you and fucked you forward, making you flatten to the bed as he finished himself inside you just like he said he was going to do.

You panted in deep breaths as he kissed your shoulder blades and he shifted behind you, “You okay, Y/n?”

You sputtered out a small laugh and smiled, “So fucking good.”

Harry pulled his cock from you and rolled you to your back. You felt him unhooking the strap around your neck and pulling it from you as you opened your eyes to look up at him. Lifting a hand to press over his heart you sighed, “Thank you.”

Harry paused and settled his gaze on yours as one side of his mouth curved up in a soft smile, “So sweet,” he brought a hand up to your cheek, “Thank you, Y/n.”

He helped you clean up as you laid flat on your back, still out of it, but with an easy smile on your face, “How was that?”

“Harry, that was… it was so good. I want more, though. Harder too.”

He laughed as he lay on his side next to you and smoothed his palm over your belly and squeezed at your tits, “Understood. We can try a few new things next time. See what else you like. We just want to ease into this, though. Okay?”

You nodded as you smiled at him. This was something else you loved. The way he was with you after sex. Tyler didn’t bother with you once he’d gotten off. But Harry seemed to enjoy basking with you after.

“Did you eat before I came over?”

You laughed and rolled your eyes before shaking your head, “I don’t usually eat dinner until later and you got here before my usual dinner time.”

You felt Harry’s thumb press over your hardened nipple, “I see. Well, we need to make sure we’re eating, don’t we? Let’s go get you some food.”

. . .

“Harry please?!” You were trying to be patient with his rule of slowly introducing things but he insisted on not diving right into everything. You wanted him to fuck your ass.

You woke up that morning with Harry’s hard cock pressing into your bottom. So you slid yourself up and down his shaft until he woke up completely and he slowly fucked you with his arms wrapped tight around your middle and his chest pressed into your back lying on your sides, your pussy filled with him until you were both coming in that sleepy, early morning daze.

Harry laughed from behind you after he’d just filled you with his come, “I just made you come, Y/n,” he still had you in his arms as he spoke against your neck from behind.

“I want you inside of my ass. You wouldn’t do it yesterday. Only put your fingers in. I want to feel your big cock, Daddy.”

Harry did love how much you liked sex but sometimes it did come as a surprise. A puff of his breath hit the shell of your ear, “Well right now I’m not physically able to anyway. Need to recover for a while because I just came. But I can give you something else. We can use your dildo if you want. How does that sound?”

You pouted but you knew better than to complain. Harry had already shown you so much in such a short span of time. It was Sunday morning and you two had been enjoying each other all weekend, getting to know one another.

“Okay.”

Harry released you from his arms and you jumped when his palm landed down on your sore bottom, “Hands and knees.”

You adjusted yourself as he asked and watched him hop off your bed to open up your box of toys. He picked up the slim anal dildo and your regular-sized silicon dildo before kneeing up behind you and placing his palms over your bottom. You felt the cool wetness from the lube he poured over your ass and then felt his fingers pressing it gently inside of you, making you push back into his hand.

“Want one here, and here?” He poked at your pussy entrance with his free hand, “Or just anal right now?”

You turned to look at him behind you, “Maybe just the one for now. My pussy is so sensitive after everything we did yesterday.” You laughed.

Harry grinned at you and nodded, “Fair enough.”

He started by fingering you. It was slow and he moved his free hand over your bum softly, “Probably gonna get rock hard again just watching this. So pretty back here. Little pussy dripping with my come, your ass opening up for my fingers...”

Despite your pussy being a bit wrecked from Harry’s big cock, you were still wet and turned on. Clearly.

Harry moved his fingers out and then dipped in to kiss your hole. You felt his lips peck gently over you and then he picked up the dildo, adding more lube to it.

“Can you turn to look at me? Want to be able to see your face at first so I can make sure you’re feeling good.”

You turned to look at him over your shoulder. He was so handsome. Thick curls all wild and strewn about from sleep and sex, his strong chest gently rising and falling, pink lips curved up in a smile…

He lifted the slim toy up so you could see it, “Ready?” He asked as he smeared his thumb over your anus.

You nodded with a smile, “Yes.”

He lowered his gaze to your ass and you felt the tip of the toy press into your anus. You tilted your hips down and arched your back for a better angle as you kept your eyes on his face.

He was slow and steady with his movements but you were used to the dildo by then. As he pushed it past your hole and dipped it in as far as it would comfortably go on the first thrust you moaned softly.

“Feels okay?” He moved his eyes from where he was working you open to your face.

“Feels good.” You nodded and licked your lips.

It was hard to explain how it felt to have your ass filled with a toy. It was interesting. But a really good kind of interesting. An interesting that you craved and you just knew that having Harry inside of you would be even better. A warm thick cock attached to a handsome, strong man that you could trust would just be the best.

When he began to thrust into you his lips parted at the sight and you swayed your hips slightly as the toy began to take up that space and bump into whatever was in there that had your body shaking.

Harry grinned, “You okay?” He knew you were. He just liked hearing you tell him how good you were feeling.

You groaned and stitched your brows together as you nodded, ‘Yes, Daddy…”

It gave you that ache that you never experienced with vaginal sex. It was something so deep and full feeling, so raunchy and vulgar. You loved it.

“You’re shaking already, baby. Is this what happens when you do it yourself?”

You panted, “Yeah. It’s like my body just can’t stop. It feels really good.” Even your words were shaky.

Harry pumped the toy in and out and then used his other hand to slide delicately over your folds and up to your clit, “Want me to rub you here? Or is it too sensitive?”

The pads of his long fingers stroking softly over your clit was exactly what you needed. You gasped and dropped your head with your mouth dropped open, “Don’t stop. Just like that, Daddy.”

So he didn’t stop. Harry did it exactly right. It was perfect with his gentle fingers on your bud, soft thrusts that he deepened as your moans grew louder and your body shook harder. He could tell you could take more and that was quite exciting. It meant you might be ready for his cock soon enough.

“Oh, honey…” Harry breathed, “Fucking so pretty. Just dripping and clenching. Gonna come for Daddy?”

You nodded as your head hung down. You were already two steps away from your orgasm. That was another thing about anal. It was a guarantee you’d come and depending on the moment you could come very fast. And having Harry fuck you with your dildo like he was with his fingers slipping back and forth on your clit, it was one of those moments.

Your whole body began to burn as your muscles tensed and you cried out, “I’m coming, Daddy! Oh my god! Oh my god!”

Harry held back his laugh of surprise. He couldn’t believe how hard your body was shivering and the way you clamped over the toy, he could hardly slip it in any further so he let you roll your hips and shake and cry as he kept the pads of his fingers on your clit. It was the fastest he’d ever seen any woman come. And he knew there was so much to explore with you. You two were just getting started.

You collapsed onto your tummy the moment Harry pulled the toy from you and he kissed his way up from your bum to your shoulders, “How was that, baby? Did I do it right?”

You smiled to yourself with your eyes closed, “Perfect. So good. But I want your cock next time.”

Harry laughed and pulled you into his arms, as seemed to be the norm. He ran a hand over your cheek and kissed your forehead, “What time does your roommate come back?”

You looked up at him and placed your palm on the butterfly tattoo, “I think early afternoon. Probably should go before she gets here, huh?”

Harry shrugged, “If you want me to.”

“I don’t want you to,” you smiled at him.

“Okay. Then I’ll make you breakfast. How’s that sound?”

. . .

You learned quickly that Harry, while loving to be rough with you in bed, had an innate need to take care of you at the same time. You got used to him fucking the life out of you and then making you something to eat afterward.

It was usually during the time he was in your kitchen, naked, making you a meal that you learned about one another. He asked you lots of questions. About your parents, your job, your friends, and even things like what your favorite television show was.

You learned that he and his ex co-parented while raising Tyler and they always got along just fine but they never really got past that casual stage in their relationship before she got pregnant. Tyler had been an accident baby. Despite Harry wearing condoms he got his ex pregnant. They were both seeing other people by the time she realized it and they never saw the need to get married.

And Harry learned that your mom mostly raised you. You did see your dad once in a while when he was around but for the most part, he wasn’t in your life. He was in the military and your parents married young when they found out she was pregnant. But he was hardly ever there to help raise you. She wound up divorcing him when she learned he was sleeping with other women. You hadn’t seen him in over a year when you told him that story.

Getting closer to Harry was easy by the time you’d been sleeping with him for a couple of months. He was exactly what you wanted in a partner, but that was dangerous because you were certain the arrangement you had with him was always meant to be casual. So you tried not to let yourself overthink things with him. But that was hard because of how attentive he was and how he just seemed to get you without even trying.

The connection you had with him was so much better than it was with Tyler. Leaps and bounds better. You were thankful Tyler was just a part of your past now. You realized, partly thanks to Harry, that you deserved a hell of a lot better than your ex. You kind of wished Harry would suggest making things a little more exclusive. Because he was all you could really think about. You felt like if there was anyone you did deserve, well maybe that could be Harry.

But those thoughts and those feelings were pushed way way down and swallowed up by your better judgment. You couldn’t let yourself get too lost in him. Not until he gave you some sign that he felt the same or wanted more of you. Because you were most certainly not going to be the one to tell him what was really happening to you under the surface. You had to keep working to make sure those emotions stayed in check.

You didn’t see him every week, and maybe the fact that you didn’t have full access to him was what was making you feel the things you were. Sometimes you drove yourself crazy wondering what he was up to on evenings you were free when he was busy. You didn’t know if maybe there was someone else he might be interested in. You were too scared to ask him that. It could be possible you supposed, because Harry was the whole package. Any woman would throw themselves at the chance to date him. You were sure he wasn’t having sex with anyone else because you two weren’t using condoms and he told you that you would both be honest if that needed to change. But that didn’t make you feel all that much better because your feelings for him were starting to sprout big green leaves and take root deep in your heart. It was too much.

And that became exhausting to tamp down.

. . .

Harry’s chest was still rising and falling rapidly after you’d just swallowed down every drop of his come. You wiped the tears from your face and the drool off your chin as he helped you stand up.

The plan had been to try anal sex for the first time that night. Harry had been using your little dildo to get you ready, your plugs helped, and his fingers too. You’d been begging him for it but he always wanted to take things easy. One step at a time he said. And he meant it. He only introduced one or two new things every time you saw him.

“Bend over the bed, sweetheart.”

You did as he said as your head swirled with thoughts and feelings you didn’t want to have surfaced.

He was gentle with you as he placed his palm on your butt cheek to pull at it and used his other hand to twist and slowly bring the plug out.

He hissed when he saw your puckered hole and he dipped two fingers in, pressing into your bum in the way only Harry could.

You hid your face in the crook of your arm and felt the moisture from the tears that had been forced from your eyes when he was gagging you with his cock.

And the way your heart was pounding in your chest, you could hardly hear him asking you a question.

“Hey,” Harry lifted you up and sat down with you on the bed, “Are you okay?”

All his check-ins and his softness, those eyes looking at you with such care, and the way his voice and hands comforted you had you tearing up again. But this time the tears were coming from emotion.

“I’m okay,” your lip quivered and you turned away from him. You felt silly to get so overemotional but you couldn’t help it.

You felt Harry shift on the bed and then pull your back against his chest as he scooted into your pillows against your headboard, “Don’t say you’re okay when you’re not. Tell me what happened.”

You sniffed and took a deep breath, trying to control the way your heart wanted you to burst into mawkish tears that would surely have him ending the whole thing with you.

“I can’t…” you inhaled sharply, “It’s fine…”

Harry gripped your chin and made you turn your head to look at him, “You need to communicate to me what happened so I can fix it. I can’t make this better if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

You blinked and a gush of tears were pushed from your lashes as you shook your head and kept your mouth shut.

“Okay. That’s okay. Let’s just sit here for a little while. Take a deep breath…” he smoothed his palm over your arm and it made your heart blossom even more, those windy sprouts trying to work budding flowers open, but that only made you cry harder.

He tried to calm you down. He was doing everything right; holding you close to his chest, speaking quietly into your ear, running his gentle hands over your skin… but that was the problem. It all felt too good. It all felt too real.

You moved yourself out of his arms and climbed off your bed to find your sweater, “I… uh…” you looked around your floor and grabbed the material to pull over your head, “Need some sleep I think. Sorry. Maybe we can see each other another night,” your words tumbled out unsteadily.

Harry followed after you as he slid his briefs up his legs, “What’s going on? Y/n you need to talk to me now,” he turned you around to look at him.

You kept your eyes on his inky swallows and shook your head, “I can’t.”

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No,” you looked up at him. That was the last thing you wanted him to think, “It’s me. It’s not you. I just need to be alone.”

You heard him sigh, “Is that really what you want, Y/n?”

You nodded.

And with that, he let go of your arms and dressed himself in silence. You held back any further tears as you watched him with his back turned to you as he slid his t-shirt on over his head and then put his wallet and cell phone into his back pockets.

When he picked up his leather duffel bag he turned to look at you and his expression was unreadable but he stood in front of you, cupped the back of your head with his palm, and kissed your temple before opening your bedroom door and seeing himself out of your apartment.

The moment you heard your front door click shut you sat down on your floor and let yourself go completely. Though you did control your volume. You didn’t need your roommate hearing and then coming in to check on you.

You needed to break down and face your feelings and those little niggling thoughts once and for all. You didn’t know what to do with them but you needed to allow them to come out of you because you’d been pretending with Harry and that wasn’t fair to him or to you.

It wasn’t like you were in love with him, but you were feeling things that you knew would quickly slip into that realm. He was a dream and you wanted him to yourself. But how could you know if he felt the same unless you asked? And if you asked and he didn’t think of you the way you thought of him well that would be that. Surely, he wouldn’t want to keep entertaining you the way he was if you were falling for him. He was too kind to allow that to happen. He’d break it off and send you on your way before things got too real for you.

And that would devastate you.

A/N: Ooops 🤭 We have to have a tiny bit of angst in order to move this plot forward! Hope you enjoyed my loves! Part 4 in one week! xoxo

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[ellecdc]

HEY POOKIE!!!!

Could I request a fic with either poly moon water or poly marauders where reader has had mental health issues but they were getting better and then they slip back into them. This happens to me in moments and I have to remind myself that it’s part of my progress but it would be so nice if I had someone else to say it too. No pressure lovely!!!!

I ADORE all of your marauders work!! Like OML I never know how much I needed poly moonwater until youuuu❤️❤️❤️😘

hi babes! totally get where you're coming from re: mental health issues. It's a marathon, not a race. and I'm so glad you love moonwater! my evil plan of converting the entire fandom (lol) is succeeding. I opted to go with the marauders but it's quite sirius centric

poly!marauders x fem!reader who is struggling with her mental health

CW: non-sexual nudity [nothing is described], discussion of dark mental headspace and anxiety/depression [again, nothing is described]

You felt awful.

You knew the boys would be understanding, but it didn’t make you feel any better about your behaviour.

You’d found yourself slipping back into familiar and darker headspaces as of late, and though you couldn’t deny the disconcerting comfort that familiarity brought, you knew you couldn’t allow yourself to fully fall back into it; you worked so hard to move beyond this, and you had been doing so well.

It hurt worse now that you felt like you weren’t just disappointing yourself anymore, but also disappointing three other people who - for whatever reason - cared an awful lot about you.  

You’d been inching closer and closer to a panic all day and wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed when you got home and pretend the world didn’t exist for a few hours days weeks. 

Those kinds of plans don’t work when you live with three other people, two of which have the tendency to coddle you.

You knew that irritability was one of the symptoms of your anxiety, but knowing that didn’t stop the sting of your words as they left your lips. 

James was too nice, too bright, too happy, too lovely. You felt like the polar opposite of your sweetest boyfriend, which made you feel even more disappointing than you already had. And Remus was a fixer; he had a tendency to see a problem and immediately start problem solving, but that’s not what you needed right now.

Of course, you didn’t say that.

Of course, you got angry and lashed out at them before storming off to your room and slamming the door.

What started off as feeling blue quickly spiralled into a low affect. Feeling low left you increasingly anxious. Your anxiety left you feeling disappointing and less than, which caused you to feel depressed. The more depressed you got, the more anxious you became. The more anxious you became, the more depressed you felt.

It was a vicious cycle and you were stuck in its seemingly never ending assault on you.

And now, you weren’t just depressed and anxious; you were also feeling terribly guilty and overwhelmed at the thought of having upset Remus and James. 

Remus, who only wanted to help, who only wanted you to feel better, who only wanted to care for you. 

And James, who only wanted to perhaps share a little bit of his joy with you on the off chance it could brighten your day.

You were awful.

Horrid.

You didn’t deserve them, and they didn’t deserve you - they deserved better. You deserved nothing.

You’re not sure how long you had been standing under the spray of the water with your head against the cool tile when you heard a gentle knock against the glass of the shower door.

You felt the irritability surge in your blood again at the intrusion of your pity party, but tried your hardest to take a steadying breath before you hummed a quiet “yeah?”

“Can I come in?” You heard Sirius’ voice ask from the other side, apparently having gotten home sometime during your meltdown.

He could, though you weren’t sure he should.

You were terrible after all.

Horrid. 

The glass door popped open and Sirius shoved his face in. You didn’t bother turning your face towards him but you could feel the questions permeating his being nonetheless.

“I’m coming in.” He announced, deciding on your behalf. 

You heard the sound of his clothes falling to the bathroom floor, and you knew if Remus were in here he’d be scolding him: “there’s a hamper right there, Sirius.” 

But Remus wasn’t here because you were awful and you couldn’t bring yourself to care about the sodding hamper nor Sirius’ clothes littering the floor.

Some of your steam escaped as Sirius opened the shower door fully and you were accosted with cool air that left your body covered in goosebumps. He corrected it quickly by standing under the spray with you and pushing his front up against your back, leaning his chin on your shoulder.

“Fuck, you take hot showers.” He commented.

Usually you’d laugh.

“Sorry.” You said instead.

He rubbed at your hips where his hands had fallen with his thumbs, eliciting another layer of goosebumps on your skin. 

“You’re not feeling too good, are you baby?” He asked quietly.

You let out an exhausted breath. “I don’t feel good; I’m no good.” You responded just as quietly.

Sirius ducked his chin down to kiss your shoulder before quickly replacing it.

“That’s not true.”

You didn’t respond, glad that the water streaming over your face hid the evidence of the tears escaping your eyes.

Wordlessly, Sirius pulled away and grabbed your shampoo, working it into your hair. You did nothing to help him in his task, keeping your head pressed against the shower wall as he lathered the soap on your scalp. He pulled the handheld down to rinse it out, paying special attention to point the spray away from your face since you didn’t seem too fussed over protecting your own eyes. He combed some conditioner through your hair and rinsed it out in much the same manner before grabbing a loofa and lathering body wash over your form.

“Sometimes it’s two steps forward and one step back.” He commented, finally breaking the silence that had long been only the sound of the water falling and each of your breaths. “But that still means you’re one step forward.”

A sob escaped you, causing Sirius to pause in his ministrations and pull you back into his chest again.

He didn’t say anything else; he knew better. Of course he would, Sirius sometimes understood this side of you better than the others did. Sirius had a tendency to fall into darker times too, also having a penchant for lashing out at those closest to him when things felt like too much.

He let you cry, standing under the likely too-hot-for-his-tastes water, as he rocked you back and forth with your head leaned back, resting on his shoulder as you faced toward the ceiling. 

“Do they hate me?” You whimpered eventually, trying to convince your lungs to take in slower, deeper breaths.

“Of course they don’t; you know they don’t.”

“Are they mad at me?”

You could feel Sirius shake his head, but he answered you verbally anyway.

“No, doll. They worry, is all.”

You didn’t like that. You didn’t want them to worry. “I’m fine.”

“I know you are.” He agreed readily. “They do too.”

You let that sit in the foggy air for a little bit.

“Do you know that?” He asked eventually.

“Know what?”

“That you’re okay? That you’re just fine?”

You thought about that for a moment. You were sad, and you were anxious, but were you fine?

You admitted to yourself you felt the familiar tendrils of your darker self pulling at you, but you could also admit it was different this time. You were better, you had been working hard, and most importantly, that hard work was paying off.

You may have been two steps forward and one step back, but you were still one step forward from where you started.

“You’re sure they’re not mad at me?” You asked instead, earning you a chuckle as Sirius turned you in his arms to hold your face between his hands. 

“No one is mad at you, love. I swear it. You are, however, very loved.”

You offered him the best smile you could muster and let him pull you forward for a chaste kiss. 

“Then… yes, I know I’m fine.” You agreed eventually, earning you a beaming smile from your boyfriend.

“Atta girl.” 

Your felt your cheeks heat up at the praise and pushed your forehead into his chest.

“Can we get out of this torture chamber, now? I swear this water is being heated by hellfire.” He joked, leaning around you to turn off the shower without your consent.

“It’s really not that bad.” You argued, earning you a scoff.

“I’m red, doll. The water has marred my skin, perhaps permanently.”

You continued arguing about proper shower etiquette as you rubbed lotion into your skin (and then into Sirius’ for his troubles [he really was sort of red]), and changed into your comfies.

You headed towards the living room before you remembered you were sort of ashamed with yourself for the way you had spoken to the other two boys, but Sirius didn’t allow you to hesitate in the hall as he caught your elbow when your steps faltered and ushered you into the room.

“Boys, we’re really going to have to do something about her shower habits.” He commented as if a) nothing had happened, and b) you weren’t even there. “I’m surprised she hasn’t completely melted her skin off." 

“Perhaps hot showers are how she gets so beautiful, Sirius, ever think about that?” James jested back, earning him an indignant scoff.

“Are you saying I’m not pretty, Jamie?”

“As pretty as Y/N?” Remus interjected, looking between the two of you as if assessing. “No, not at all.” 

“Well I-” Sirius began, but you interrupted.

“I’m sorry.”

Everyone’s shoulders fell as they turned to look at you, clearly willing to brush over the tension if that had been what you wanted.

“I was rude and irritable when I got home, and neither of you deserved that. I’m sorry.”

“Angel…” James started, opening his arms for you which you readily accepted and tucked yourself into his chest.

“I was never mad to begin with, but I’ll go ahead and forgive you right now if that’ll make you feel better, okay?” He murmured into your wet hair.

“Okay. Thank you.” You murmured back.

“You’re too sweet for us, dove.” Remus commented, moving to place a consoling hand on your back.

“I was the opposite of that earlier.” You chuckled at your own expense. 

“Please.” Sirius scoffed derisively. “These two are too nice, especially when you feel like shit; I’ve given them a far harder time than you have, dollface.” 

“It’s true.” James said quickly. “He once told me he’d rather have a cup of tea with his mother than snuggle with me when he was in one of his moods once.”

You gasped and looked at Sirius in horror. “You did not.”

Sirius, not at all guilty, shrugged nonchalantly. “Sure did, and I meant it too.”

“Oh come off it.” Remus chided, pulling Sirius into his side who broke out in a grin, effectively eliminating his earnest facade. 

“No, of course I didn’t mean it.” He relented, leaning further into Remus’ side. 

“I don’t like myself very much when I’m like this.” You admitted quietly.

“We’ll love you enough for all of us in the meantime then, yeah?” James asked, pulling you into his arms tighter.

“Just be patient with yourself dove, you’re much too hard on yourself. We’re here now and we’ll be here when you feel better too.” Remus added.

“Can’t get rid of us that easily, dollface.” Sirius concluded, shooting you a wink.

Two steps forward and one step back.

But you were still one step forward.

You knew you would make two more steps forward again soon.

#ask elle #marauders era #marauders au #marauders fanfiction #reader insert #self insert #sirius black #remus lupin #james potter #poly!marauders #poly!marauders fluff #poly!marauders imagine #poly!marauders x reader #poly!marauders x you #sirius black x reader #sirius black x you #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x you #james potter x reader #james potter x you #hurt/comfort #poly!marauders hurt/comfort #ellecdc fics

[honeytonedhottie]

giving urself princess treatment⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🎀

princess treatment feels AMAZING when ur receiving it from others, but when ur receiving princess treatment from yourself, the feeling that u get from it is unmatched. no one can love u better then u can love you ✨

YOUR SPACE ;

turn ur space into your own palace. keep fresh flowers in ur room and keep ur space clean and tidy. surround urself with beautiful things for a beautiful mind.

light sweet smelling candles, invest in ur space bcuz we spend a lot of time in our bedrooms so turn that into a sanctuary.

NEVER SAY NO TO DESSERT ;

i dont like the term "guilty pleasures" because why should we feel guilt for things that bring us pleasure? like having ur cute drink of the day or having extra dessert? let yourself indulge in what u love. everything in moderation ofc but dont deny yourself something like that. you're a princess.

cute pastries

fruit with honey

rich teas and milks

indulge in sweet treats like fruits with honey, or frosted cupcakes with sprinkles. stay sweet~

INTENTION AND DESIGNATION ;

have a designated space where u do _ activity. or have a designated cup that u drink ur favorite tea in. putting intention into the things that u do helps u feel like a princess.

also have intention with the things that u say and the things that u continuously think every single day bcuz as we all know "our thoughts manifest"

have good posture

say ur affirmations

use sweet smelling lotions and perfumes on your body, intentionally sleep 8 hours a night and have a designated time for a nap bcuz a princess needs her beauty sleep.

"I DESERVE IT" MENTALITY ;

you deserve that new dress that u want. you deserve whatever ur manifesting. YOU DESERVE IT. you deserve everything good in your life and dont believe anything or anyone who tells you different. when you think of what you deserve you should only think of the best.

with that being said dont deny yourself your desires especially if u have the ability to give it to yourself (which u do)

remember how deserving you are of the good things in life. you deserve to feel the sun on ur skin, you deserve to be loved by yourself, you deserve to take a bubble bath.

LISTEN TO BEAUTIFUL CLASSICAL PIECES ;

listen to classical music or better yet, pick up an instrument that seems magical to you. maybe learn to play your favorite pieces on the piano, or learn how to play the harp.

ATTITUDE ;

offer your help when u have the capacity to do so, give out compliments and smile at people. be nice!! helping others when u can is a beautiful thing that a princess would do.

know that you are a princess and move accordingly. since u know that u deserve the best dont settle for anything less then the best. be willing to walk away from whats considered the "norm" for something better.

BE WILLING TO GO THE EXTRA MILE ;

be willing to do the extra things in order to make ur life easier or more enjoyable in the near/far future. have your own back!! when ur willing to go the extra mile, you'll reap more. bcuz ur not mediocre ✨

#law of assumption #advice #self concept #becoming that girl #it girl #that girl #self love #it girl energy #honeytonedhottie⭐️ #self care #princess #hyper femininity #dream girl tips #dream girl #dream life #self development #self improvement #girl blogging #im just a girl #affirmations #princesscore #self discipline #self growth #doll

[rashomonss]

I couldn't stop thinking about this after reading your "Readjusting" hc

Imagine that the reason MC started acting like a "proper" attendant was because Barbatos couldn't stand how improper and casual Mc was with the brothers. He decides to take her under his wing but he isn't gentle about it, not even when it becomes clear that MC is human, on the contraire, he becomes harsher with his methods until even the brothers notice. Meanwhile MC could be in the state of mind to believe that they deserve to be treated in such ways because they feel guilty over letting everyone assume they were a demon

Also think about how this treatment would affect MC relationship with Barbatos. Imagine MC slipping up in front of him and immediately tensing and starting to apologize. How scared MC would be of even the thought of doing something NB!Barbatos though them was wrong and undignified of her to do/say as the brothers attendant.

And how heartbroken OM!Barbatos would be at seeing MC be so terrified of him.

so I’m currently deep diving thru my drafts and inbox and this was from forever ago so I’m so sorry I’m only getting it done now (,,Ծ‸Ծ,, )

anyway oh. my. god.

i absolutely love this idea! the angst potential this ask has is literally to die for. i’ll be incorporating a few of my readjusting ideas as well and yeah i know nightbringer didn’t go in this direction but im going in it anyway, so i hope yall enjoy! (๑>؂•̀๑)

you’re nothing more and nothing less

You admired yourself in the mirror then stared at the reflection looking back at you. 

Sighing you gave yourself a small smile, then remembered his words before giving yourself one last look in the mirror. 

“You really do look decent when you know how to clean up.” 

An attendant is supposed to look sharp, and presentable no matter the circumstance. They are a direct representation of who they’re serving. How was a noble demon supposed to take the seven rulers of hell seriously if their attendant didn’t even know how to properly dress or present themselves? 

Your tie had to be perfectly crisp and presentable, same with the cuffs of your uniform; not a wrinkle should be present. Next, your preferred uniform bottom was ironed with no wrinkle in sight, and your shoes shined to the point you could see your reflection. Each plead and fold was sharp, crisp, and perfect.

Your hair looked presentable and you carried out your normal face routine making sure you looked awake and ready for the day. Finally, you organized your belongings and sat them by your table in a neat fashion ready to be grabbed once you headed off to RAD. 

You then made your way to the kitchen and prepared breakfast for everyone as well as coffee and tea for those who usually required it. 

As you were finishing up most of the food Beel walked into the kitchen heading straight for the fridge. “Morning MC,” he said catching his breath. 

“Good Morning Beel, how was your run? Also, your snack is on the counter so please refrain from eating anything in the fridge,” you replied, as you continued cooking. 

“Oh thank you.” he smiled while closing the fridge. As he sat at the counter watching you cook he couldn’t help but become confused at the sight. “Wasn’t it Levi’s turn to make breakfast this morning?” 

“It was but he stayed up late last night, and I had a feeling he would oversleep so I took the liberty of making it myself. Not to worry though because I have nothing against cooking for all of you” 

Beel frowned in response “Yeah but this is the third day in a row you’ve prepared breakfast and dinner” 

“Is it now? Well I have no problems with it unless the rest of you do, I am your attendant after all.”

Beel stopped eating and frowned again, “MC you’re an exchange student from the human realm. You’re back home; there’s no reason for you to still act as our attendant.”

You didn’t respond, instead you finished up the food and began to plate each brothers breakfast. Beel tried to speak again but you cut him off.

“Apologies but could you do me a favor and wake up your brothers for breakfast? I wouldn’t want them to be late for classes.”

Beel gave you a sympathetic look and nodded just before leaving the kitchen.

You did stop to think about his words though. After all everything that happened in the past didn’t need to be continued in the present, you could go back to living how you normally did before.

The only problem was that you didn’t know how to go back to that carefree lifestyle. After being on edge constantly while being stuck in the past you found yourself adapting to that lifestyle. So breaking it all of a sudden was much harder than everyone understood.

Humans are adaptable creatures, they adapt and survive to whatever environment they are thrown into, no matter the circumstances; at least that’s how he explained it.

He drilled it into your head that if you wanted to survive against the best of the best you needed to be superior in every way. It didn’t matter to him if you were a demon or human, neither was an acceptable excuse for not being absolutely perfect.

This mindset had been engraved into your soul during the small time period you were there, so for everyone to just tell you to forget about it was something you couldn’t do even if you tried. They all needed to accept that this was how you were now; and maybe with due time you’ll revert back to your old self.

Numerous voices could be heard in the dining room causing you to snap out of your thoughts. You sighed and then took a deep breath before walking into the room with everyone’s plates.

“Good morning everyone, how’s are all of you?” You asked placing plates in front of each brother at the table.

“Mornin’ MC, I’m fine how are ya?” Mammon said yawning.

“I’m good thank you for asking, but I would be even better if you fixed your tie and shirt” you smiled, placing his food in front of him.

“Dah you sound like Lucifer…” he groaned. It did work however because he buttoned up his shirt and tightened his tie before eating, to which you smiled at him in response.

“That goes for all of you as well, fix your uniforms please.” you said, placing the last plate in Lucifer’s spot. Each groaned and fixed themselves as well before they began to eat.

A laugh was then heard from the doorway which made you look up in response. The oldest then greeted you with a kiss to the cheek before sitting down.

“I see your keeping them on a tighter leash than I am.” Lucifer said looked up at you.

“Well of course. How is anyone supposed to take the seven of you seriously when you don’t even wear the uniform properly.” The room fell silent and Lucifer raised an eyebrow. “Thank you MC, but you realize that you don’t have to worry about our images anymore. You know your home correct..? You don’t have to continue being our attendant.”

You sighed then spoke after a few minutes. “Thank you for your concern I appreciate it, but if you’ll excuse me I have to get the dishes clean”

“Wait you’re not having breakfast with us dear?” Asmo asked worried.

“You haven’t eaten with us at all since you came back. Come on MC, please?” Satan then said.

“I appreciate the concern but I already ate. Thank you for the offer though, I do appreciate it. Now if you’ll excuse me.”

“As their attendant you should not be eating with them unless permitted on a special occasion. It’s basic etiquette as a servant to eat in the kitchen. So you will eat when I eat. Understand?”

That phrase popped in you head again and you sighed heading towards the kitchen.

. . .

The walk to RAD was normal, for you at least, the brothers were a different story entirely.

They tried engaging with you or even walking next to you but you stayed silent and walked behind them.

Normally you’d walk at the same pace and would engage in any kind of small talk but ever since you returned walks to a from RAD had been awkward for the brothers.

Barbatos never walked next to Diavolo, and he taught you to do the same with the brothers.

“You aren’t from the same status, so you should take your place behind them as a result.”

That phrase played in your head as Mammon talked to you about his latest new scheme. You realized that he was walking at the same pace you were so you slowed down ever so slight and engaged in a bit of small talk with him.

The second born frowned as he saw you retreating again, so with a sigh he finished talking and walked a bit faster to catch up with the eldest.

You could see them shorting you glances and whispering to each other but neither said a word to you.

You understood they probably weren’t a fan of this behavior either, but it’s not as if you could break it anytime soon, after all what would he think if you were acting casual with everyone again?

. . .

“Good morning MC” Barbatos spoke, smiling as he slightly waved at you.

Upon seeing him your posture straightened up and you immediately greeted him back with a wave and a nod, in the same fashion he greeted you with. You held eye contact for a brief moment then looked over towards Lucifer.

“I believe we should head out now. There’s paperwork to be done. It was lovely running into you but we’ll be on our way now” you said to the butler.

Before he even had a chance to respond you grabbed Lucifer and dragged him through the hall leaving a confused Barbatos alone in the hallway.

Lucifer tried to question you about your behavior towards the butler but you always avoided talking about it.

Diavolo tried his hand as well and you had given him the same excuse you gave Lucifer. Sighing, the two decided to talk to you over tea instead, hoping that it might calm the mood.

So you followed Lucifer into the council room where Diavolo sat, waiting with a smile. The minute you saw him you smiled back, but soon tensed when Barbatos appeared behind him.

“Sit down MC” Diavolo gestured as soon as you reached the table.

You bowed slightly and did as you were told, making sure to keep yourself in line while Barbatos was present.

Barbatos from the past despised when you were casual with Lord Diavolo and shut down your relationship with him the second he took you as an apprentice.

As Diavolo began to speak you listened attentively and sat up straight making sure to hold eye contact just as Barbatos had instructed you to do before

“MC…” he started. “I understand that it's taken you awhile to try and readjust to everything again, and while we don’t want to pester your progress we do want to talk to you about a few things.”

Were you in trouble? Your heart sank to your stomach as you gripped your uniform bottoms under the table.

“What can I help you with then?” You asked.

“Well for starters you needn’t be so tense, we’re close after all! It’s okay to let loose around us” Diavolo smiled as he gestured towards Lucifer who nodded in response.

“I thank you for your concern, and I will try to relax as you asked” you then nodded.

Your formal response tugged at a frown on Diavolo’s face. “Thank you, now then let’s enjoy some tea.” he said, trying to quickly change the subject.

You froze on the spot as Barbatos brought out the cart of tea and a few snacks. Immediately you jumped up and helped him set the table, much to everyone’s surprise.

“MC, you can leave it to me.” Barbatos said after a moment.

“I understand” you nodded yet still continued picking up the tray of snacks and placing plates in front of Lucifer and Diavolo.

After you finished you stepped behind Barbatos, almost as if you were his shadow. With a sigh he turned to you and tried to ask you to sit back down but you refused.

So instead he tried to guide you to your seat and you stepped away from him in response, the further you took a step back the closer he took a step forward. It wasn’t until you hit the snack cart had you realized how close the two of you were.

However that was short lived as the dish holding the sugar fell off the cart and shattered on the floor the moment you hit it.

Your eyes went wide in horror and you fell to the floor to clean it up in an instant, muttering to yourself silently.

“MC, are you-“

“I’m so sorry, Lord Diavolo, I'll clean this up right away. Please forgive me” you said swiftly picking up the shattered glass and trying your best to clean everything.

“It’s okay, don’t worry it was an accident” Diavolo said as he got up to make sure you were okay.

You shook your head as you went back to cleaning. You were positive Barbatos was going to kill you, he made sure to let you know if you ever messed up in Lord Diavolo’s presence.

So when his figure loomed over you your body tensed with fear as you looked up at him. However his expression didn’t match what you assumed it would’ve been.

He looked concerned and bent down to inspect your hands, hoping there wasn’t any blood due to the shards of glass from the dish.

You immediately retracted your hand when you noticed a cut and Barbatos stiffened.

“I’ll clean this up right away, excuse me” you said as you jumped to your feet and ran out of the council room, leaving three very confused and concerned demons behind.

As the door flew open when you left Solomon walked in with a bewildered look as you rushed out. “What happened? Is everything okay?” He asked as his eyes followed your figure rushing down the hall.

“It’s MC,” Lucifer sighed.

“What about them?” Solomon questioned.

“Long story short they were helping Barbatos and dropped the sugar then bolted out of the room in a panic when Barbatos grabbed their hand to see if they were okay.” Diavolo said with a sigh.

“Ah, that explains things then.” Solomon nodded. “And Barbatos I would refrain from touching or even being near MC for the time being”

“And why is that?” Barbatos questioned with a frown.

“Because MC is probably still on edge after serving alongside you in the past. Let’s just say your methods weren’t exactly…ideal, for a human.” He sighed.

His heart broke upon hearing those words. Barbatos frowned upon learning he was the reason for their rigid behavior and unwillingness to open up to him or Lord Diavolo again.

“I understand,” he sighed.

“If we just talk to MC I’m sure they’ll understand-“ Diavolo started.

“You can, but they haven’t changed their behavior with the brothers so I doubt they change it now. I’ll talk to them when I see them again” Solomon sighed.

Lucifer made a sour expression upon hearing Solomon’s words, mainly because he knew they were true. After all he had spoken to MC countless times yet nothing has changed.

Solomon handed a few papers to Diavolo who read over them in surprise. “Cocytus Hall? That place hasn’t been used in ages, and you wish to move in there?”

“Yes, well Mc and I.” He nodded. “All the paperwork should be there if you’ll allow it”

Lucifer shot the sorcerer a glare and shook his head. “Is that really necessary? That’s quite the opposite of having MC adapt back to the present”

“On the contrary I didn’t suggest this. They did, and if it's what they want I don’t mind indulging my sweet apprentice” He smiled.

The three frowned at Solomon’s words. No matter how annoyed he made them, they all agreed that he was the only one you talked to like normal.

It wasn’t fair that he was the only one that got that attention from you. After a few more minutes of going back and forth Diavolo finally approved the idea, much to Lucifer’s protests.

It was just a thought but Diavolo hoped that if he did this you would eventually come back to them, and not the you that was terrified and uptight, he missed the carefree human who could brighten up the room.

With a sigh the room fell silent as Solomon left, all three demons were running out of ideas and the longer you avoided them the more painful it had become.

How long were they supposed to stay like this? They all wondered with tense sighs.

#obey me shall we date #obey me nightbringer #obey me #omswd #omnb #obey me nightbringer angst #obey me angst #obey me barbatos #demon brothers #obey me luficer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me diavolo #obey me solomon

[bluespiritshonour]

Water Siblings and Fire Siblings as Foils

Katara and Sokka are peak sibling rep: they bicker, they hurt each other, they take turns being the voice of reason while the other goes batshit crazy—and they'd die for each other.

And very clearly Sokka's daddy's boy and Katara's momma's girl: and for most parts, they seem to be content with that dynamic.

Look, parents have favourites, let's establish that first: don't come at me for it.

But in a healthy environment, where all of the kids’ emotional needs are met irrespective of which kid gets along with which parent, they're less likely to tear themselves apart yearning for parental affection.

Sokka and Katara's family was a normal one, a healthy one—as healthy as one can be in a war ravaged world—and Sokka and Katara are normal siblings. Even after their mother died Katara doesn't seem to care much that Sokka gets more time with their father. And everytime she brings up their mother Sokka gets this weird look on his face, which, I think is later explained by the fact that he feels guilty that he doesn't even remember what their mother looked like. And it's not because Katara seems to know more about their mother despite being younger.

Neither of them grudge the other for having been close to one of the parents—let's call it ‘being close to’ instead of ‘dad/mum loved you/me more’ because that's what would come up with Azula and Zuko.

One can say that Azula's daddy's girl and Zuko's momma's boy... Except it isn't like that.

Azula wasn't loved by her father; neither was she close to him. If anything she had the illusion that she's close to him. But children can sense when they aren't loved, which can explain why she took her mother being close to Zuko so hard. Because she didn't get that from her father and isn't she supposed to be daddy's girl? But dad's good to her; mum... isn't. Dad lets her do what she wants... As long as she obeys him or she'd end up like Zuko.

For Ozai, both his children are pawns. He uses Azula to abuse Zuko, which in turn is to get at Ursa. And honestly, Ursa was a bad mum and an abuse victim and not the villain are takes that can co-exist.

A lot of mums in primarily patriarchal cultures end up abusing their own kids while trying to protect them in an environment where they themselves hold little power.

Ursa and Hakoda can be compared in this.

Katara haters can look away: she isn't whiny. And even if she is, well, she takes responsibility when no one else does so I guess she deserves to complain if that's what it takes. Katara is extremely mature. When she was mad at Hakoda, she still had the critical thinking skills to point out that yes, she understands why he left. He had to! She doesn't blame him for that, it wasn't his fault that there was war going on—but it still hurt!

And what does Hakoda do? He hugs her and apologises. He doesn't defend himself, because he doesn't need to. She understands! She said she does and he doesn't insult her by making excuses. He acknowledges and validates her pain.

Unlike Katara, who grew up in a healthy family with parents and grandparents and a whole community—Azula was isolated and under the influence of Ozai. And she was so young! If you remember being that young, you'd remember thinking that parents are always right. You don't realise that parents make mistakes too—and while her emotional needs weren't being met by Ozai, she turned to Ursa—but Ursa was at her wits end trying to undo the damage of Ozai's abuse on Zuko.

If she had given attention to Azula, Zuko, who thought that Azula was perfect and already had father's approval would have gone off rails—and since she didn't... Azula went off the rails.

Which was exactly how Ozai would want it. I don't like the comics much but it made sense that Ozai would hold both the children as bargaining chips against Ursa. Ursa made her choice, or rather, the illusion of her choice and Azula had to pay for it: the real reason Zuko could turn over a new page while Azula couldn't was because from the very beginning, Zuko had his mum and uncle.

Azula had no one!

Like Hakoda had to go to war and leave his children behind, Ursa had to choose between Azula or Zuko; Ozai orchestrated it as such.

But while there were people to pick up Hakoda's slack, there was no one to guide Azula. Sokka and Katara raised each other and they had Gran Gran.

Zuko and Azula were constantly pitted against each other by a war-mongering father.

I don't like this unrealistic expectations that fandom has of a family where both the siblings not only love each other equally, they also process emotions similarly (see: the Sokka vs Katara debate on how they both react to trauma) and parents who love all the kids equally.

Katara and Sokka are normal and realistic in the way that they are both different people: they process grief differently. Katara takes up responsibly and grows up too fast, it takes a toll on her and she's vocally expressive. She turns her grief into anger. Meanwhile Sokka internalises it in a survivor's guilt kind of way.

There's also gender involved in the way both pair of siblings interact. It's more subtle for the fire siblings than the water sibling. Plus, Suki makes Sokka drink his respect women juice, please y'all don't call Sokka sexist. That was character development for him which was addressed. I could make another post for gender and A:TLA.

And they both love each other dearly and they're okay with the fact that one is daddy's boy and the other is momma's girl. It's okay.

In contrast Zuko yearns for his father's affection and Azula yearns for her mother's. And while Zuko feels inadequate, for Azula it's “behave or you'll end up like your brother.”

She also learns to derive a sick sort of pleasure from watching Zuko suffer—which is entirely her father's doing. Because in rare moments when she doesn't have anything to gain by getting Zuko into trouble...she actually kind of looks out for him. It's extremely rare and sprinkled here and there to show us the Azula that could have been.

And I don't think Zuko really realised that Azula was abused too—not until he lets go of his father. Until the final Agni Kai. What I love about it is that despite portraying Azula as Zuko's tormentor for 3 seasons (and she was his tormentor) they did not frame the Agni Kai as some epic good vs evil shit.

Because from Zuko's point of view Azula was perfect. He's out here vying for his father's affection while she gets it freely. She's so lucky!—until he lets go of his father and realises what a monster he was... And he also realises that father never really loved Azula either...

They didn't say as much in words. But the final Agni Kai is proof enough. Zuko doesn't rejoice bringing Azula down (technically Katara did it). At this point, I guess, he realises that Azula's a kid too. Even younger than him—that their father couldn't care less about either of them.

Okay. I really do think that Zuko suddenly becoming invested in Azula's redemption would make sense after the Agni Kai. I also read this Twitter thread by Aaron Ehasz where he says he had plans for Azula's redemption and it was fantastic.

So yeah. Without being overt, the water siblings and fire siblings are contrasted by each other. Which is why I don't like the comics trying to do this brother-sister thing where they put Sokka and Katara and Zuko and Azula in back-to-back panels like... Even if I'm a huge supporter of Azula-deserves-redemption I didn't like those panels in the comics.

P.S. don't pit Sokka and Katara against each other. You aren't Ozai. They're different people who process trauma and loss differently and hence, react differently.

Adios.

#atla #avatar the last airbender #ink rambles #katara #sokka #zuko #azula #azula deserves redemption #katara defence squad

[shadesoflsk]

    HIS MINI WORLD

ft: Leon Kennedy x Fem Reader summary: Leon experiencing fatherhood. From the day his little miracle's heart started beating to her first steps. warnings: Mentions of pregnancy, self doubts but overall this is just fluff and nothing more! wc: 1.4k author's note: Hello! This is me once again bringing dad Leon content. The last time I wrote him was for Christmas hehe. I don't really know what I did here since this like a combination between headcanons and mini drabbles but hey, it's something. Anyway, take care!

   masterlist

Leon who ever since you announced you were expecting he switched to dad mode. All of his friends needed to know that he was now a father to be. Claire? The first one to know. Chris? He needed to know that he may as well be the godfather of his little blessing. 

Leon who was next to you at every ultrasound appointment. He couldn't even make out where this little bean was but he already called them the most perfect thing. Because, after all, it's the perfect combination of both of you.

Leon who is the first one to buy parenting books. He often told you not so common facts as he read in the middle of the night. Do you know that babies are born with the ability to swim? He made sure to tell you even if you were fast asleep.

“Darling…” Leon gently shook you, his voice was hushed yet it was enough to stir you from your sleep and say goodbye to your precious dreams. “Mhm…? What is it?” Being woken up in the middle of the night wasn’t something you were looking for. Especially since you already grew used to Leon’s schedule. However, you tried not to show any signs of grumpiness.  “Do you know that our baby can recognize music? So… if we put some headphones on your stomach they might know what we usually listen to!” His voice was barely a whisper but it wasn’t enough to hide his excitement.  “Go to sleep Leon…”

Leon who has all the money in the world to buy the most expensive and glamorous crib, yet he wanted to experience how it was to build it. So, he made it from scratch. Of course, with Chris’ help. Even though both of them ended up with splinters in their fingers.

Leon who would rarely argue with you. But when the time comes when you disagree about something and go to bed a bit mad at each other, he would place a hand on your belly as he whispered: I'm mad at you, not at them. Eventually, both of you would forgive each other, even if the argument was just a silly disagreement.

Arguing with Leon was obviously something doomed to happen in your marriage. As much as you wanted it to be peaceful and problem-less, your personalities sometimes crashed. It never led to an actual fight. But Leon was… stubborn, even if he knew you were right, he'd never admit it. So, as you lay on your side hoping that sleep comes faster, you feel a strong and calloused hand over your belly.  “I'm not angry at them so this is only fair.” Leon said, rubbing and caressing the skin that was starting to stretch as it gave the baby more space to grow. After a couple of seconds of silence, Leon started to feel guilty for not giving you attention. You were carrying his baby, he couldn’t act this immature. “Sorry…” Leon sheepishly apologized for his previous banter. An argument should never make them go to bed angry at each other. “I'm sorry too.” You finally responded as drowsiness started filling your mind and body.

Leon who responded “I just want them to be healthy,” when someone asked him about his baby. But he was a bit too happy when you announced to him that he was going to be a girl dad. In his mind, he wanted to have two beautiful princesses next to him. And now, heaven is allowing him to achieve his dreams and leave behind his sorrowful previous life.

Leon who may as well go bankrupt since he buys everything he sees at the shop. Tiny pink dresses and teddy bears are his favorite things to buy. His little princess deserves the world, she’s already his whole world.

Leon who would speak to your bump, his words full of promises and wishes for his baby. And even when you were asleep, he would go on for minutes, expecting his little miracle to hear him.

“You will be so loved… Everyone is waiting for you.” He said one night, a hand caressing the side of your belly. “I have already bought so many toys you will be playing with. Daddy loves you so much.”

Leon who has to go on missions, he can’t just quit. But, he keeps a photo of your ultrasound in his wallet, next to yours. A totem of his love, a physical item that reminds him he needs to return home. 

“Shit…” He hissed as the nurse helped him sit down on one of the chairs. He had recently just come back from a mission which took a toll on him. It wasn’t especially hard since he had help from his new team, yet he believed his age was starting to show in his body. “Mr. Kennedy, your belongings…” The nurse spoke to him for the first time as she picked up Leon’s jacket which had fallen as he sat down. Leon thanked her before he started searching for something in one of its pockets. For a while, he paid no mind to the nurse ministrations. The alcohol swab stung just a bit as she cleaned an injury on his side. Eventually, he found what he was looking for. He pulled out his wallet and there they were, the photos he always carries with him. A proud smile showed on his face as he was reminded that he had succeeded in another mission which meant Heaven granted him one more day to live. He was alive and ready to continue living..

Leon who would practically faint when you told him the baby was coming, that the time has come. He had previously made scenarios about this situation, thinking that he was prepared but dear God… he wasn’t. 

Dad Leon who sobbed when he heard his baby’s cries for the first time. However, this time, those sounds didn’t come from someone who was suffering as he is used to hearing in his line of job. Those cries were the living proof that he was once again, given a second chance in life.

The first one was when you agreed to marry him. He held himself from grabbing his daughter out of the nurse’s arms. It’s not that he didn’t trust the medical team, but he has waited almost 9 months to see, to hold his miracle.  And even though a part of him fears that his hands are too stained from his job, from his past, and from the near future, he knows that his and your hands will be the ones guiding your baby.

Dad Leon who doesn't know what to do once you were discharged from the hospital. He couldn't spend one second away from the both of you, always checking if you needed something.

Dad Leon who speaks with his daughter as if she was already a grown-up. Her babbles and his words fill the living room as they both engage in a serious conversation.

“Bwaaah” “Yeah, I get it. But you have to understand my point too. If we increase the price of milk people are going to buy even less. “Bwah…” “No need to get so political, miss. I’m simply offering some feedback about the supply and demand of this product.”

Dad Leon who wears matching outfits with you and his daughter. Is the little one wearing pink today? Guess everyone else will too. 

Dad Leon who tries so hard to teach his baby how to say dada. Da-da Da-da, that word is starting to haunt his dreams. However, life works in funny ways since his little one decided that her first world would be “No.”

Dad Leon who is terrified when his daughter starts walking. Those wobbly steps make him have a heart attack each second. 

Dad Leon who hates it when his kid falls and cries. He would literally just look the other way for a second and boom, his daughter fell to the ground. Between the sobs of his little one, he could hear how she says she got a boo-boo. God, he hates gravity. 

Dad Leon who sometimes cries from happiness. Watching his baby girl grow fills his heart with so much joy and pride. The world was a messed up place but whilst he lives, he’ll make sure that no danger ever comes across you two. 

#leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #leon kennedy fluff #leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #resident evil #resident evil x reader

[emblazons]

MIKE WHEELER + A MEDITATION ON BOUNDARIES

"Back when I thought I was straight I would go on dates with boys. The boys would usually want to kiss me. I disliked kissing, but I thought that their preferences deserved to count as much as mine, and I reasoned that they probably liked kissing more than I disliked kissing. So kissing was a morally good thing to do. I also reasoned that if I told them I disliked the kissing then they’d feel guilty and enjoy it less. So I did not tell them.  I am certain I was making some kind of critical error but it has taken me a long time to figure out what it might be." (x)

#byler #anti mlvn #mike wheeler core #THIS QUOTE MADE ME THINK OF HIM SO HARD I HAD TO. its not a great set but sdkffdslkj my soul was aflame waiting to make it LOL #this is what's happening and you will never convince me otherwise ever in your life. this quote is his side of mlvn's arc 100% lmao #mood: forced conformity is killing the kids #mike wheeler #will byers #el hopper #my gifs #bylerdaily #byleredit #mikewheeleredit #tuserrae #userelz #stranger things

[strawberrystepmom]

pairing: Kenjaku x F!Reader, past Geto Suguru x F!Reader

word count: 3.6k

about: you become kenjaku's captive to ensure that he will not miss his opportunity to fight the strongest after his return from the prison realm. the temptation of being this close to the last remaining earthly fragment of the man you once loved, suguru, proves too much to resist and you give into your desires despite the hole they're bound to leave.

contents: NSFW - MINORS DNI. DARK CONTENT WARNING, MAJOR MANGA SPOILERS FOR CH 236 AND BEYOND | dubcon, manipulation, violence against reader, asphyxiation, kidnapping | reader is a sorcerer and went to school with geto and they had mutual feelings for one another, mentions of religion and references to god, kenjaku retained some of geto's memories and knows reader through them, reader has breasts and descriptions of vaginal anatomy are given, rough piv sex with little prep, reader is referred to as "girl", major character death (off screen).

notes: i've uh....been going through some things lately LMAO tbh i started this awhile back before thanksgiving but have felt weird about posting it and it very nearly stayed in the "between me and god" folder so i held back but today i said fuck it. if you read, thanks and i hope you enjoy!!!

header art is by jenny holzer and divider is by @/cafekitsune ♡

“The old occupant of this vessel was very fond of you, you know?”

How dare Kenjaku mention Suguru so casually, as if he were a tenant to his own flesh and bone instead of its rightful owner? 

“You know nothing about him,” The words are full of venom, flying from your mouth not unlike the way you spat at the curse user’s face two days prior to now. He chuckled when the fluid hit his cheek, wiping it off without a second thought. “Or me.” 

You felt so guilty for spitting at his face, the face of a man you once believed that you loved, that you wept until you began to dry heave atop the futon mattress in the room that has been designated as yours. It’s the same bed you rest on now, duvet over your knees that are hiked to your chest. It’s a means to protect yourself from any vulnerability but it’s truly no use. If Kenjaku wants to harm you, he will.

He has insisted your accommodations be comfortable since arriving three days ago given you are collateral and not a captive, his own clever wording for the situation, but you’re more than aware that if you were to attempt to escape from the cage that you’d hit the window just as all birds hungry for a taste of freedom do. There are no cuffs, chains, or bars but your freedom is no longer yours. It is a prize to be won pending the defeat of the man standing across from you in the doorway, shoji door open beside him, flowing hair as dark as the midnight sky brushing the backs of his elbows.

For years you wondered what you’d do if faced with Suguru again. Would you strike him, insisting he deserved it for all the hurt left in his wake? Ask him why in a scream so powerful your shoulders would shake with the weight of your fury? Perhaps you’d forgive him, as you’d been taught and encouraged to do your entire life, and those mumbled prayers cast to the God you believe in above you would be true for the first time since they’ve left your treacherous lips. 

“I forgive him, I hope you can, too.” You have begged God aloud and silently since sixteen years old. You have always been devout in your faith despite abandoning most of the tenets that make someone a believer, your lack of devotion not enough to deter you from selfishly asking for absolution for a man who you know deserves none.

God’s answer is clear when faced with the fact that this is not Geto standing in front of you. There is no less mercy a person can be shown than their body being used as a sick prop after their death.

The space where his thoughts and dreams and hopes used to lie is occupied by something far worse than just visions of a world purified through means of violence, a place where people like you could live without the threat of death and sacrifice to keep others safe. Granted, that wasn’t exactly a noble purpose either, but at least it didn’t threaten your life the way that whatever lives inside of his skull does now.

“I know more about both of you than you think.” 

Kenjaku’s words drip with smugness and your stomach flips. The natural responses of your body to a man who looks and sounds just like Suguru make you sick but you cannot focus on fighting them off and keeping yourself protected at the same time, you have to simply make peace with the butterflies in your stomach that feels like something is punching you in the gut over and over again. He dares enter the room and you scoot further up the futon, hitting the wall behind you and leveling a glare in his direction.

Suguru’s body reacts to you, as well, something that Kenjaku planned long ago to use to his advantage. It started with hazy dreams, a face he recognized as yours drifting through them, your thighs and your lips and your skirt. It’s a version of you a little younger, a little warmer - less edgy than you are now. You are sharp and finely tuned to harm while the version of you that lived in Geto’s mind will forever stay soft, a freshly unfurled rose.

“All you’ve done is vandalize him,” you accuse and he shrugs, dressed in a cotton yukata rather than the robes he stole in addition to the body they dressed. It’s easy to imagine another life where this is Suguru and you are you and he’s coming to your shared bedside, kneeling on the ground the same way Kenjaku is now while he invites himself to the only space you currently have as your own.

“You’re a smart girl, don’t play dumb.” Your glance moves from the doorway to him, disgusted by how brave he is getting this close to you. “Perhaps I’m simply using the power this body holds in the way he was too cowardly to attempt.”

Despite your current state of sitting in nothing but a yukata yourself, you are physically strong from spending the last decade of your life as nothing more than a glorified weapon to use in the fight against evil. Even if your Cursed Technique would be unlikely to have any effect on the man, you could be a difficult problem for him if you wanted to be, yet you sit and do nothing but wait and refuse to respond to his words. He chuckles at your stubbornness and reaches across the bed and your body to grab your chin between his thumb and index finger. He shifts your head until you’re staring directly at him and a smile crosses his lips.

You do not fight him off.

“Tell me, sorcerer,” he starts and you swallow, bottom lip quivering. You want to reach out and slap him away, to scream and kick but your body stays still, the only place blood is pooling between your legs and in the heat of your face. “Where are those teeth and claws you were so eager to show me on your first night here?”

He reaches his thumb upward and presses it against your mouth, stopping the shake with a single touch - your body’s natural reaction to a man you are now certain you loved, given it’s the only explanation for your behavior. It’s a form of trust, the muscle memory of a kiss he gave you in your dorm room at the school you once shared. The first night you were spitting and hissing, now you’re so placid.

“Nothing to say for yourself?”

Stubbornly, you shake your head and Kenjaku chuckles again, pulling his thumb away from your lip but maintaining the grip on your chin. You know this is not Suguru, it’s as clear as the stitches across the forehead of the practically empty vessel that further closes in on you. He moves silently until he’s mere inches away from you, his head hovering over your knees that are still pulled against your chest. You watch him with narrowed eyes, tucking against yourself tighter than you ever have as a means of comfort, but it does nothing to stop him from lingering.

“I could just make you speak if I wanted to,” he warns. The power in this situation belongs to him.

“What’s the point of fighting you? You’re going to do whatever you want with me anyway.” You admit, defeated. Whatever fight you had left in you was smothered weeks ago during the attack on Shibuya. Even the release of Gojo is not enough to fill you with hope for the future. It’s pointless to keep fighting when the only outcome is going to be loss.

The shaky sound of your voice makes the curse user move closer to you and you shut your eyes tightly, refusing to look at him lest your body continue with these inexplicable natural responses. Heart pounding against your chest, it’s inexplicably frustrating that it cannot seem to separate what your brain knows is true from what your body wants to believe.

It isn’t him, you scream within the confines of your own mind but it does not prevent your palms from feeling clammy and the squeeze of your inner thighs against each other to provide some relief against the heat in your core.

It isn’t him. It isn’t him. It isn’t him…

Chanting the words internally, you open your eyes and are met with a pair of golden ones staring directly at you. They’re the same that stared at you in a dorm room a decade ago although they’re missing the warmth they had back then, dripping honey sweetness hidden in the irises turned to tar. 

“You’re right, I can.” He nods and dark hair falls over his eyes, catching your eye. Your stomach turns when you spot the stitches across his forehead but your gaze returns to his so quickly you can hardly think about it. “But will it be what I want or is it what this body desires, I wonder?”

This piques your interest and Kenjaku tilts his head to the side inquisitively, dark hair sweeping over your knees and around your body. It feels like a curtain, a veil like the ones you are so used to using to keep people safe and ignorant and outside of your world of sorcery.

“What do you mean?”

A smirk is the response you are granted and he moves closer to you, one of his hands reaching for the duvet you’re using to cover you. Pulling it back gently, your robe covered body coming into view and once again, you make no effort to fight. With this barrier removed, he runs his palm over the outside of your thigh. Muffling your whimper at the touch, you attempt to hide your face in your shoulder but he stops you, still grasping onto your chin and still holding your gaze.

“Interesting.” 

His hand travels from the outside of your thigh to the insides and you gently spread them to allow him access before realizing what he’s searching for. Attempting to cut off his access by closing your legs, he holds your thigh in place and lets his fingers dip lower along the soft skin. You quiver and shake beneath him like a leaf clinging to the branches of a tree in winter, desperate for somewhere to remain, and those fingers inch closer and closer to your core. He stops when he feels the coarse hair covering your mound and dares to dip a single fingertip between your folds, raising his eyebrows when he feels the arousal seeping from you. 

“I knew it,” he whispers so low you wonder if you were even meant to hear it but the way he gazes at you, like that of a man starved, tells you that the words were meant for no one but you.

Your hand shakes as much as the rest of you when you finally lift it from your side, reaching out to him and taking a strand of hair between your fingers. It feels just as you imagined it would, silk between your digits, and a breathy sigh leaves you before you begin to cry. Dropping the small strand, you choose to reach out toward his forehead and use your hand to block the stitches covering it.

“Suguru.”

You babble the name like it is precious, your lip quivering just as it did before, and the evil man shakes his head, capturing your wrist with the hand he just removed from your chin. He lowers your hand enough that you can see the stitches unobscured.

“Kenjaku, actually.” 

He lowers your hand to his lips and kisses your knuckles, amused when you squirm where you sit, practically delirious with lust and confusion. You do not want this, at least that’s what you tell yourself while parting your legs further and panting, chest heaving with every breath.

Wordlessly, he uses his free hand to untie your robe and it falls off of your shoulders, exposing you to him fully before he can blink. This is something he remembers seeing in one of those dreams but you look different than whatever the imagination of a man who was infatuated with you was able to come up with during his loneliest hours. It amuses Kenjaku that he is the one to see you like this, bare and willing. 

Tracing down your belly and lower, he stops between your legs which makes you whimper. You’re so desperate to be touched, to pretend he is someone you’ll never have the opportunity to love as properly as you could have if you’d both lived a different life, that your hips actually arch off of the bed eagerly. It should embarrass you but you are past the point of humiliation, willing to be fucked by evil incarnate just for the sake of a taste of Suguru Geto.

“Pathetic little thing,” he coos and you say nothing in return. You’re well aware of your failings as a sorcerer and a human being as his fingers spread your labia to get a glance at what you have to offer. For a moment, you consider praying for Suguru again; to selfishly beg God to make sense of your own actions but you know that he no longer has mercy for an ill behaved member of his flock. You will simply accept the consequences, whatever they will be.

His thumb brushes your clit and you moan, tipping your head back and toward the ceiling. You wait for the sensation of pleasure to climb through you again but it doesn’t come until you look downward again, eyes fluttering open.

“Eyes on me or you get nothing.”

Too afraid to look away lest it keep you from the only good thing you’ve felt in who knows how long, you keep your eyes glued to Kenjaku’s face while his hand works between your legs, spreading the slick from your cunt toward your clit and back down. If you could just shut your eyes, you could pretend, but they’re open and glued between your legs, watching every feathery stroke of his fingers through your folds.

Kenjaku’s cock hardens against your thigh and for a moment you dare to feel powerful knowing you aren’t the only one surrendering to the most base of your needs. He drops your hand and reaches for the tie of his robe, opening it and giving you the only look you’ve ever been lucky enough to get of Suguru’s bare body.

Scarred, honed, a tool - just like yours. If you weren’t so lost in the moment, the lifetimes you have imagined for years would be playing through your mind.

You gasp and knit your brows together, bucking against the increasing pressure of Kenjaku’s fingers while he brings you back to him and out of your head. Whatever you’re thinking about doesn’t matter when he inserts a finger inside of you, only testing how wet you are with no intention of preparing you for his cock. 

When he’s satisfied with how wet you are, he withdraws his finger and you whine. The sound is the most he has heard from you since the first night and it makes his eyes widen in interest. He shifts until he is standing between your spread knees and the realization that this is really happening hits you at once, your face flaming with desire.

“You’re so impatient.” 

The curse user tuts at you with a roll of his eyes and spreads your legs as wide as they can go to accommodate the width of his body. He’s broad in shoulder and hip and you bite your lower lip when he runs the head of his cock through your folds, following the same pattern of his fingers. You expect the teasing to last longer but it stops abruptly. Before you can take a breath to prepare yourself, his cock is buried to the hilt inside of you, and you gasp with wide eyes, shocked. 

“As good as you imagined?”

Words come to your mind but do not form enough to leave your mouth while he thrusts roughly, your body jerking violently against his. It’s painful, the size of him with little prep in conjunction with how he uses your body as nothing more than a glorified place to take his aggression out, but all of the numbness within you thaws and for the first time since you realized Geto was no longer Geto in Shibuya, you feel. 

It’s hard to name all the emotions you are experiencing because they blur into something barely comprehensible. Pleasure and pain and bone chilling sorrow, the kind that makes tears silently drip down your face while he takes what he wants from you. He doesn’t bother to play with your clit and there is no need to, the joy you’re taking simply from being used by Suguru’s body enough that the knot inside of you is slowly beginning to unravel. 

Skin on skin punctuated by his low grunts and your whines fill the small room and you are so lost, you lift yourself halfway up to meet Kenjaku and consider kissing him. Would it be close enough to kissing Suguru that you could eventually justify it or would it just sully the one good memory you have of him? 

You don’t have long to think about it before you are pushed back down to the bed, one of his hands caging your throat and keeping you pinned to the bed below. A reminder that this is for his pleasure and not yours although you feel yourself coming closer to the edge than you were just moments prior, shutting your eyes tightly. All of the motion inside of you stops, the hard thrusts of his cock ending, and your eyes shoot open.

“Remember what I said. Eyes on me or you get nothing.”

Nodding, you keep them open and he begins again, pace rougher than before. You can do nothing but grunt and struggle to breathe, his cock carving out space inside of you that didn’t exist until he entered you. Every kiss of his tip against your insides knocks the breath out of you and finally you cum in a strangled moan, walls quivering around his length. 

His hand inches further up your throat and squeezes experimentally. As expected, you do not fight back and he takes his indulgence with a grin, choking you with varying degrees of pressure and feeling your cunt spasm around him when he surprises you by tightening his grip. 

You like this. You want this.

He leans forward and shifts his weight to his arm and hand, finally spilling inside of you with a deep moan. Warmth fills every inch of you and you wish that you felt as full in your heart as you do in your cunt but a void remains.

Kenjaku’s other hand slides up your body and wraps around your neck, both of his palms resting on either side of your neck and fingers splaying over your throat. It’s dangerous to let him have this much access to any part of you that he could possibly crush but you do not move, tearfully looking up at him and sniffling. He increases his pressure, not enough to harm you, but enough to make you work hard and you realize how easily he could just…end this.

“Please kill me,” you beg while struggling to breathe, realizing what you’ve done now that the afterglow of orgasm can no longer protect you from the cold hard truth. 

You are a betrayer. You slept with the enemy to sate your own selfish desires and death seems almost too kind to beg for, yet you do.

“Kill me.”

Your face turns in shade and your vision is dotted with darkness, a miserable end to a miserable life you consider, but at least it will be over. The pressure of Kenjaku’s hands around your neck continues to increase until you are certain you are taking your last breath, lungs aching until he abruptly stops. He glances down from where he rests above you, half swollen cock softening and letting his cum leak out around the tip of it that is still inside of you and onto the sheets below. 

“I will not give you the satisfaction of death until you give me the satisfaction of watching you fight for it.” 

Removing his hands from around your throat completely, he glances down at the pressure indentions of his fingers with a smile. Your eyes flutter shut, you’ve passed out from lack of air, and he admires the heap he has left you in, reaching for your robe and wiping the remnants of his release and yours on the corner of it.

Nobody is coming to save you, a secret Kenjaku knows that you are not yet aware of. Satoru Gojo is dead, defeated at the hands of Sukuna. The news broke this morning and he was preparing to come to your room to let you know until this little distraction occurred. He had an inkling you were susceptible to Suguru Geto’s charms even from beyond the grave but he had no idea it would be this easy, your slumped form resting on the futon beside him. He pats your head as one would a treasured dog, long and loving strokes that do not stir you, your bare breasts swaying slightly with every breath you take.

The new world is on the horizon and he may keep you around as a plaything for a little longer than he originally intended.

#kenjaku x reader #geto x reader #geto suguru x reader #kendall writes