#i might start today though !! my partner has been really fixated on it asking me questions and i’m realizing i remember next to none of the | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thefanficmonster · 3 years

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Bouquet

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: None

Genre: FLUFF, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Having come clean about being single for a very long time now and considering herself completely out of the dating scene, Y/N’s confession is taken and responded to with a ton of kindness, especially from a special someone...

Requested by Anon. Hi hun! Thank you so much for your lovely request, it was such a joy to write! I’m so sorry for the long wait you had to go through but the fic is finally here and I hope you enjoy reading it! Love, Vy ❤

I roll out of bed with little to no desire to start my day. We haven’t got a scheduled stream for today and the clouds glooming in the sky seem to be promising rain so really what do I have to get up for except that it’s a rule society installed?

Just kidding, I’m basically stalling and that’s all.

So what happened was the streamer gang and I were playing Among Us last night and our conversation during the pause between rounds somehow swerved into relationship territory. I stayed quiet the majority of if not all the time because I had no valid input to offer.

If you know me you know I’m not one of the performers on the dating scene. I have never really confirmed it with my fans - well, until last night, that is - but I bet they have picked up on that fact considering I’ve been on YouTube for around a decade and have never had a partner. That being said, I’d have to also mention that I have in fact dated but someone but it was before my YouTube era started. Me choosing this career path, which back then was just a hobby, had nothing to do with the relationship ending but it still motivated me to not to actively look for a relationship while I’m still focused on my career. It’s too much work, too much stress and requires a lot of balance I most certainly either don’t have or I don’t have the energy to put in balancing my romantic and professional lives. Luckily, no one’s ever pressured me into finding a significant other, not yet at least, so no societal pressure for me!

But I gotta admit I felt real awkward admitting all this last night.

“Hey Y/N what do you think? You’ve been awfully quiet?“ Rae asks, causing me to jolt in my seat from where I’ve been reading my chat for the past five minutes, my mic muted.

I quickly unmute to reply, blushing ever so slightly, “Um, sorry I was reading my chat. What do I think about what?”

“The gesture of giving flowers to your significant other, is it romantic or a waste of money and plant murder?“ Rae explains, still managing to catch me off-guard with her question.

I ponder what my response should be for a little bit before deciding to level it to a neutral level where I almost sound indifferent, “It is in fact plant murder basically and artificial flowers would definitely be a better gift - plus they’ll last longer.”

“Mhmm yeah that’s true.“ Poki agrees with me, “But there’s still the question of whether it’s a romantic gesture or not. I personally don’t think it’s overrated or cheesy, I actually quite like it. What about you, Y/N?“

And now she’s got me in a real trap that I can’t wiggle out of without speaking my truth. I don’t know where this sudden anxiety around the subject came from but it now resides within me rent free and makes me feel self-conscious and embarrassed of the confession I’m inevitably make.

“Um, I wouldn’t know for certain, I’ve never received flowers myself...“ I say sheepishly, cringing at the sound of my own voice, “It’s not like I’ve dated plenty of people and the one guy I did date wasn’t really romantic or anything, I mean - we were teenagers, after all. But when I think about it in theory I think I’d like the gesture: it’s thoughtful, plus you get a temporary but beautiful piece of décor out of it.“

I’m gonna hope I didn’t sound too pitiful or desperate. Of course I’m not gonna check afterward on the stream cause I’d rather live in the illusion of having sounded humorous rather than be given the confirmation that I didn’t.

“Wait, wait, wait, did you date your last boyfriend like a decade ago?“ Corpse is now the one talking and that makes me feel even more anxious. This is not the impression one would want to give to their crush, is it? Oh well, no turning back now.

“Correct.“ I reply with a laugh that I hope didn’t sound as nervous as it was.

“And you’ve never, like in your whole life, received flowers from someone?“ He sounds astonished which sort of makes me want to shrink up in my shell like a turtle. Too bad I don’t have a shell though. I’m genuinely thinking of the option to rip the router out of the outlet right now to save me the troubles but I’m not that immature. I’m surprised I’m even reacting this way - this topic doesn’t usually bother me at all but now for some reason I’m red as a tomato and shrinking in my chair.

I know what the obvious answer is but I’d rather die than admit to it.

“Yeah, yeah, I know it sounds bad but I really don’t care.“ I make an attempt at changing the subject, swerving it back to the main topic rather than my lack of a love life, “I do, in fact, find the gesture sweet - it adds vibrancy to the relationship just like the flowers would add vibrancy and color to the space they’re put in.“

“Oh my gosh, that’s such a cool analogy!“ Rae gushes, “You’re totally right, it might be an old trick, but it’s aged like fine wine.“

Phew, God bless you Rae.

“Exactly, exactly.“ Corpse agrees as well but I don’t think he’s fully heard what Rae said since he sounds to have fallen in deep thought.

At least I got away with it with only making a SLIGHT nervous wreck of myself.

Yikes, was that horrible, though I don’t people will remember it for long. Sure, my fans have sent me thousands of lovely messages and pictures of bouquets and will maybe continue sending them for another day or two - which I highly appreciate, don’t get me wrong. I’m severely touched by this gesture of theirs and it almost makes me glad I finally ‘came clean’ about my romance-less life - however, it’ll fade overtime. I mean, who the heck cares if I’m single or not?

As I pour the milk over my cheerios which I’ve been snacking on dry for the past half hour as I rifled through the many notifications clogging up my lock screen, I hear the doorbell ring. I’m understandably puzzled by this, seeing as how I never get visitors so that doorbell rings only when I’ve ordered something, be it takeout or a random item off Amazon. However, I can’t remember ordering anything, at least not anything that should be arriving at the moment or even anytime soon - that glow-in-the dark curtain isn’t supposed to arrive until next week. I make my way to the door, unbothered by the fact I’m still in my pajamas, and take a look through the peephole.

It’s a delivery guy...and he happens to be holding a huge-ass bouquet.

“What the...“ I mutter to myself as I unlock and swing open the door in the blink of an eye, “Hi?“

“Hi there, are you Y/N L/N?“ The delivery guy, who I’ve seen many times before and who I’m on pretty friendly terms with, asks me jokingly, sending a wink my way.

“I sure am.“ I reply, my gaze fixated on the breathtaking flowers he’s holding, “But those can’t be for me, that’s for sure.“

He fishes looks at his clipboard one more time, nodding before he looks back at me, “I double and triple checked, Y/N, they’re for you. Here, have a look if you don’t believe me.” He turns the clipboard for me to see and he is actually telling the truth. I mean, I doubt he’d have any reason to lie to me but mix-ups happen all the time.

“Um, ok thanks. Sorry for the halt, it’s just...I’d hate to be the recipient of the flowers meant for another girl.” I apologize as I take the bouquet for him, still in awe of the fact I’m the one it was made and meant for and sent to.

I say a quick ‘bye’ to the delivery guy before practically running inside to inspect this bouquet for a card from the sender. I have my guesses: it has to be someone who was present during the stream last night and someone who knows my address. Hopefully it’s someone from my friend group and not a fan who watched the stream and just happens to know my address. I’d still appreciate the gesture, but I’d also install security cameras if that was the case.

Something about the color scheme of the flowers - pink and black - gives me Rae vibes since she constantly teases me about my aesthetics contradicting each other. But then again, Poki does it too so it could be her as well....

Oh...OH GOD IT’S NEITHER OF THEM

~ ~ ~

I’ve been sitting here, keeping myself a safe distance from my phone so I’m not the first one to send her a text. So I don’t ask if she got what I sent her. So I don’t ask what she thought of it, how the bouquet looks in her living room, how it smells, how it makes her feel. I have so many questions so that phone is best off at a major distance from me. I’m the one who’s better off with such a huge distance between me and the device, to be perfectly honest.

Was it a bad idea? Should I have slept on it - or just thought about it longer cause sleep and I don’t get along? Should I have at least waited a day or two? Should I-

My phone vibrates with a notification and I practically fly to it from across the room, grabbing it and unlocking it asap. My heart sinks and takes off like a rocket simultaneously when I see I’ve been tagged in Y/N’s Instagram story. I nervously tap the notification that sends me to the picture of the bouquet I sent her with some text written over it.

“Thank you, Romeo ;)“

Somehow that one sentence answers all those aforementioned questions.

Is this what people refer to as butterflies in one’s stomach? Cause it feels significantly more like a crush...oh wait.

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cherryobx · 3 years

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She'll come around

request: "Can you do a jj imagine where kie really doesn’t like you. I know you did that a bit in the kook one but I really loved that and I love to see more!!!❤️

summary: JJ introduces you to the pogues but Kie doesn't really like you.

warnings: language, angst, happy ending tho

WC: 1,7k

(Not my gif, creds to the owner!)

If you knew JJ you knew that he was never the type of guy to settle down. To be in a long-term relationship. Or even just commit. He loved to party, meet new girls and take a different one home every time. It was just who he was.

That’s all he ever knew his entire life. Why would he want to settle down and just be with one person? He had been hurt by the people closest to him. His dad, for example. Even if he didn’t admit it to himself, he didn’t want to get hurt. He didn’t want to feel any kind of pain that came with a relationship, physical neither emotional.

But when he met you, he was willing to throw all of that out of the window. He met you at one party and talked to you the whole night because you were sitting alone by the fire. You talked the whole night. JJ actually really enjoyed talking to you. You two became friends after that. Few weeks later he found out that he didn’t like when you were talking to other guys. Or even worse, when they would touch you. He realized he had fallen for you.

He told you about the way he was feeling. At first, he wanted to talk to his friends about it but then after some thinking he knew that you were the one he should be talking to. After his confession, you told him that you liked him too.

You were hesitant at first though. You were afraid that you would just be another notch on his bedpost. But as time went on, you saw that it wasn’t like that. He actually wanted to talk to you and spend time with you. You were the first person he had felt the need to cuddle with. And that already proved that he actually wanted to commit.

After dating for a few months, he asked if you wanted to meet his friends. After all they were the closest thing he had to an actual family. Hell, he really wanted you to meet them. It took him a while to convince you because you weren’t so keen on the idea.

“I don’t know, JJ…”

“I’m not asking you to become friends or start hanging out with them. I just want you to meet them. That’s all.” He took your hands in his, pressing a light kiss on both of them.

“Please, Y/N.”

So, you finally gave in. “Fine.”

Hearing that made JJ happy. Like really happy. He was bouncing around with excitement. He just couldn’t wait for you to meet his friends. His partners in crime. Literally.

The next day, he picked you up on his motorcycle and took you to John B’s house. Or as they liked to call it, the Chateau. The ride there was too short for you to prepare for what was coming. You grew more nervous with every passing second.

Before entering the chateau, you stopped JJ so you could look him in the eyes. “What if they don’t like me?”

“What’s not to like about you? You’re literally perfect, Y/N. Stop stressing.”

“But what if they hate me?”

He placed his hands on your shoulders and leaned forward a bit so he was looking straight into your eyes. “Stop it right now. You have nothing to worry about. I’m sure they’ll like you.”

“I really hope so.” Your gut was telling you that this was not going to end well. And your gut was rarely wrong. You were praying it would be one of those times. Luckily for you, your gut was only partly right.

As soon as you stepped into the chateau after JJ, everyone’s eyes were on you. You only recognized Sarah Cameron since she was pretty popular in Kildare. The others were not familiar to you, although you felt like you had seen them running around somewhere before.

“Guys, I wanted to introduce you to someone. This is Y/N, my girlfriend.” JJ then let go of your hand that he had been holding when you walked in.

“I’m gonna go get some water. Introduce yourselves to her,” JJ said.

“JJ do not leave me here-“ You tried to grab him but he was already jogging towards the kitchen, leaving you standing in the middle of the room with a few strangers.

The brunette boy with a bandana around his neck was the first one to speak up. “Hi. I’m John B.”

Then the boy next to him introduced himself as Pope. Sarah introduced herself as well. They all seemed very nice so far. You were waiting on the brunette girl to talk but she stayed quiet, sitting sideways on the couch and staring out of the window.

When his friends realized that she was not going to speak, they introduced her to you. “That is Kiara.”

You gave them all an awkward wave. You let out the breath you were holding when JJ was finally back at your side, handing you a cold bottle of water. “Thank you,” you said, taking off the lid and pouring some of the cold liquid down your throat.

“So, now he’s your personal assistant?” Kiara finally turned her head to look at you. Her eyes scanned you up and down, almost like judging you. No, she was definitely judging you.

“What?” you asked.

“He doesn’t have to do shit for you. Stop treating him like he’s nothing.”

You were actually taken aback by her words. You hadn’t even done or said anything to her. Why was she talking to you like that? It actually kind of hurt your feelings. You were not going to let her step on you like that. She had no right to talk to you like that. So, you dug up some courage and defended yourself.

“Excuse me? First of all, I didn’t even ask him to bring me the water. And second, I’m not treating him like some assistant. We’re in a relationship, we do things for each other all the time.”

Kiara stood up and walked up to you. She stopped right in front of you. She was almost to close for your comfort. Crossing her arms on her chest and leaning her weight on one of her legs, she looked straight into your eyes.

“You’re probably just using him. I know girls like you. You act all nice in the beginning and then break their heart the second you get a chance. That’s just how it is and has always been.”

“You don’t even know me.”

“So? I’m not planning on becoming friends with you. Like ever. So, you might as well get lost right now before you break JJ’s heart and leave it for us to fix. You’re no good.”

You felt so hurt and frustrated at the same time. The voice in your head said “ha, I told you so!”. You wanted to cry so badly at that moment but held back your tears. She was already mean enough, she didn’t need to see you break down. You had to stay strong.

Everyone else was just watching the interaction, holding their breath, too scared to say anything. The tension in the room was almost unbearable.

“What is your problem? I haven’t even done anything to you. Hell, I don’t even know you. Today’s the first time I’m seeing you. I came here with good intentions. I just wanted you to like me because I know how much it means to JJ. How much YOU mean to him. And you’re treating me like shit. This is so unfair. You make all these assumptions about me. None of them are true. Why are you pushing me away like that? Tell me, what have I don to you that you hate me so much?”

The room was even quieter than before your outburst. The only thing heard was the birds chirping outside and the summer breeze outside.

When Kiara said nothing, you took it as a sign and started walking towards the door. “Where are you going?” JJ ran after you.

You slammed the door in his face and started walking away from this place. JJ caught up to you though. “Y/N, stop!” He grabbed your hand and spun you so now you were facing him.

“I’m clearly not wanted there. I told you that it was going to happen.”

“It’s okay. Hey, look at me! I’m going to talk to Kie. It’ll be alright.”

“No, it will not. It’s going to be like this every fucking time I’m around her. She hates me.”

You sighed as JJ pulled you into hug. You wrapped your arms around him and rested your head on against his shoulder.

“Let me handle her. She’ll come around.”

“Okay.”

You stood there in silece for a few minutes and you were just gathering your thoughts. “Do you want me to take you home?” JJ asked, breaking the silence. You nodded.

“You wait here then. I’ll go talk to Kie and then I’ll take you.” He made his way to the chateau. So you leaned against his motorcycle and waited for him to come back.

About 15 minutes passed when you saw the door open. But JJ wasn’t coming alone. Kiara was following him close behind, eyes fixated on the ground. When they reached you, you raised an eyebrow at JJ. He just nodded towards Kiara who had just raised her head to look you in the eyes.

“I came to apologize. You were right. I had no right to talk to you like that. I’m just really protective of my friends and I didn’t want JJ to get hurt. But I realized that I can’t control their lives or prevent them from making their mistakes. I should give you a chance. You actually seem really nice. I’m deeply sorry about what I said earlier. What about a fresh start, huh?”

“Sure,” you said, giving her a small smile.

“Good, I’ll see you around then.” She waved at the both of you as she walked back to the others who were inside the house.

“I told you she’d come around,” JJ smirked.

You lightly smacked his chest with your hand before taking a helmet and putting it on. “Just take me home, smart-ass.”

"You love my ass."

"Shut up or I'm not letting you sneak into my room tonight."

"Yes ma'am."

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kpopfanfictrash · 4 years

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Raise the Barre (Ch. 3)

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: Jimin / Reader

Rating: 18+ (Eventual Smut)

Genre: Enemies to Lovers / Dance Academy!AU

Warnings: descriptions of past bullying

Word Count: 6,816

Summary: You and Park Jimin have been rivals for as long as you’ve known one another; ever since he tripped you in the front row of your first dance convention. When you graduate from high school and enter Russet Ballet Academy, you tell yourself you’re leaving all past quarrels behind. The main problem with this though, is that your past seems determined not to leave you alone.

Worse still, the obstacles you face while out in the real world might prove more challenging than anything your enemy has to offer.

It was nearly eleven when you returned to your room later that night, collapsing on your bed in a disgruntled heap. You barely had enough energy to change out of your clothes and shower, though you forced yourself to do so, if only for the sake of appearances.

Noelle was already asleep, so she didn’t have the presence of mind to grill you, but her questions came as soon as you woke up the next morning. Seated at a table in the coffee shop on the corner, you opened your yogurt and spilled your frustrations.

“So, that’s where I am,” you said, shaking your head when you reached the end of the story. “Miss Britt pulled me aside and I need to find someone to tutor me, fast. Fun times.”

“That’s bullshit.” Noelle looked outraged. “You’re clearly one of the best dancers at Russet! It’s why Sabrina has such a problem with you. She knows you’re competition.”

“Thanks,” you said, a bit glum. “But Miss Britt is right – I’m no ballerina. I need more practice if I want to catch up to the rest of class.”

“But you don’t even want to be in Russet’s ballet company! You’re a talented dancer outside of that specific genre.”

“True. But if I can’t make it through freshman year, that doesn’t really matter – does it?”

Noelle fell silent for a moment, not having a response as you sighed.

“It’s not like I expect you to have a solution,” you admitted. Scooping another bite of yogurt from your parfait, you shoved this in your mouth. “It’s my problem to figure out.”

Noelle leaned back. “Maybe you should take Miss Britt’s suggestion,” she said.

You gave Noelle a look of such open disgust, she had to laugh.

“I’m serious!” She grinned, taking a sip of her coffee. “Obviously, Sabrina’s the worst, but you could ask Jimin. Is he really as bad as you say?”

“That all depends,” you mused. “Is Satan as bad as they say?”

“Never met him, so I can’t be sure.”

“Well, I have met Jimin and can definitively say he’s the worst. If I went to him for help, I’d never hear the end of it.”

“Hm.” Noelle sounded skeptical to you; she clearly thought you were exaggerating, but this was one subject on which you were unwilling to budge. “Maybe you can ask someone else, then. An older student? Oo – you could ask Seokjin! He’s so hot.”

Perked up by this idea, you casually stirred your coffee. “You know what, that’s not a bad idea. He’s super talented and clearly knows what the teachers are looking for.”

“See!” Noelle set down her fork. “You have plenty of options.”

“You might be right,” you said with a smile.

Feeling marginally better about the whole situation, you pulled out your phone to search Russet’s website for Seokjin. All the teacher’s assistants had a web page where they offered private lessons, much like Miss Britt and other teachers. Unfortunately for you though, all of Seokjin’s slots were full.

This seemed to be the case with most upperclassmen and you sighed, standing from the table to clear your place. Discouraged by this, you threw your phone in your bag while you left the shop. Noelle began suggesting other students she knew while you walked to class, but you had already begun to fixate on what was probably a terrible idea.

The more you thought about it, the more you realized Miss Britt’s initial suggestion made sense. Sabrina was frustrating, but she knew all the teachers and had the most training of your class in classical ballet. True, you hadn’t gotten off to the best start, but you’d played a part in that, too. The first night you met, you didn’t have to be a dick to her.

Most importantly, you didn’t have the same history with Sabrina that you did with Jimin. Jimin had been your rival since day one – it’d take more than some halfhearted peace offering to make him forget that. Your relationship with Sabrina was new enough you still had hope it could change.

Besides, you already knew she did morning barre on days off from class. Surely, she wouldn’t say no if you asked to tag along. Cheered by this thought – you were the type of person who enjoyed having a plan – you perked up, chatting eagerly with Noelle as you walked to class.

Wednesday ballet was held by Mr. Jordan, the only teacher at Russet who was routinely late to class. Only by five minutes, but you found it remarkable how consistently he hit this deadline. The rest of the class arrived fifteen minutes early regardless – better to be consistently early than to be late the one week Mr. Jordan wasn’t, and be banished to the hall.

You and Noelle entered at 8:50 AM, setting your bags on the ground to stake out your place at the barre. You were midway across the room when you saw Sabrina and paused.

Her pointe shoes were already on, doing slow relevés at the barre in the center. You hesitated only a moment before turning to Noelle.

“I’m going to do barre over there today,” you said, nodding in Sabrina’s direction. “See you after, okay?”

Noelle looked up in alarm, but you had already turned, halfway across the floor. When you reached Sabrina, you set your bag down and took a long sip of water.

Sabrina ignored you, placing one leg on the barre to bend at the waist. You waited a moment for her to rise and when she did not, set your hand on the barre.

“Hey,” you said, waiting for a response.

Sabrina didn’t react.

Moving to stand opposite, you lifted your leg to place beside her own. Stretching an arm overhead, you leaned forward until your face was mere inches away.

“How’s your morning?” you said, trying your best to be pleasant.

Sabrina released a long, slow sigh.

“Good.”

You waited, but she said nothing more and, feeling kind of stupid, you glanced over your shoulder. Noelle remained at your usual spot by the door. You were momentarily tempted to leave and join her, but then you remembered what Miss Britt had said. You needed a tutor.

You could do this. You had made it to Russet Academy, dammit – asking Sabrina to help couldn’t be more difficult than fifteen years of ballet class.

“Do you have a second?” you said, lowering your voice. “I wanted to ask you something.”

After another long pause, Sabrina raised her head. “What?”

She sounded curious at least, which you supposed was a start. Even if said curiosity didn’t extend to her lowering her leg, or even her voice.

“Uh…” You blinked, your nervousness rising. If Sabrina said no, it would be absolutely humiliating. “I know you’ve been training at Russet longer than most people in our class.”

Sabrina stared. “And?”

You bit down on your lip to keep from saying something you’d regret. Clearly, Sabrina wasn’t going to make this easy on you and again, you wondered if this was a bad idea. You reminded yourself that you’d committed to doing whatever was necessary to keep your spot at Russet.

“I don’t know if you noticed, but ballet isn’t really my dance style.” Ignoring the small smirk she gave, you continued. “I know it’s yours though, so I was wondering if you’d be open to practicing together sometime. You know, maybe you could give me some pointers.”

Sabrina looked at you a long moment, then lowered her leg. Bending lithely at the waist, she grasped her water bottle to take a casual swig. She remained silent the entire time, forcing you to stand there and watch. To stand there and wait while she considered your proposition.

The kernel of humiliation within you grew even further.

Sabrina turned her head. “Do you know what my mom said to me when I told her I wanted to dance professionally?”

You blinked, not having expected this as a response. It wasn’t an actual answer to your question, so you tried not to sound annoyed when you said, “Uh, no.”

Sabrina arched a brow. “She said there wasn’t much room for women at the top.”

“She… huh?”

“Success is a zero-sum game.” Sabrina spoke slowly, as one would to a child. “There are fifteen spots offered at the end of our four-year program. If you get one, that means there’s one less spot for me at the table. Why would I help when it’s to my best interest not to?”

For a moment you could only stare at her, open-mouthed.

“See?” Sabrina set her water bottle down. “You can’t even think of a good reason. Maybe you weren’t a ballerina before, but you were a dancer. You know how competitive this field is, especially for women.”

An uncomfortable feeling spread through you. Sabrina’s words were remarkably similar to what you had said to Jimin but still, you hated hearing them thrown back in your face.

“You don’t think this is all a little… juvenile?” you said, a last-ditch effort to salvage the situation. “This isn’t high school anymore, Sabrina. We’ve all made it.”

“Yeah – to Russet,” she said, point blank. “This is barely the start if you want to dance professionally, Y/N. It’s nothing against you personally, if that makes you feel any better.”

“Oh, good. As long as it’s not personal.”

Sabrina smirked. “Well, maybe it’s a little personal. Like I said to you yesterday, I really wouldn’t mind having Jimin for a partner. If you got kicked out, that would solve things, wouldn’t it?”

Teeth gritted, you stopped the next words from leaving your mouth. They hung on the tip of your tongue, stillborn while you pointedly shoved them back down. If you said anything more to her, you might seriously regret it and Sabrina wasn’t worth that kind of stress to you now.

Turning around, you bent to pick up your bag – only to stop as Mr. Jordan entered the room.

“Sorry I’m late, class!” he said, shaking free from his jacket. “Subway was a nightmare. Anyways, I’m here now, so let’s start.”

Realizing you were stuck, you slowly turned back around. It seemed your place at the barre had been decided. Sabrina hid her smile when you took a step closer, placing one hand on the barre and lifting your chin in the air.

It had been silly to ask Sabrina for help. You apparently expected too much from someone so utterly determined to rise alone to the top. You could only assume that kind of attitude would one day rise to bite her in the ass but until then, you just had to grin and bear it.

Even more irksome was the fact that she’d said so many of the same things you’d told Jimin. Pushing this uncomfortable thought aside, you forced yourself to concentrate on the combination Mr. Jordan began.

The entire length of the barre, you avoided eye contact with Sabrina. It was a difficult feat, but you managed it because you had no other choice. Throughout tendus, dégagés and rond de jambes, you sucked it up and stood next to Sabrina in glowering silence.

You were so concentrated, the time at the barre seemed to go by faster than usual. The first time you glanced at the clock was when Mr. Jordan stopped to call for a water break.

Bending abruptly, you grabbed the straps of your bag and said nothing to Sabrina while you walked away. Setting your stuff by near Noelle, you straightened and began to furiously unscrew your cap. She gave you a sympathetic look while you did this, reaching overhead to studiously re-do her bun.

“That bad, huh?” she said.

Furious, you scowled. “She’s an asshole.”

Noelle’s brows shot straight up. “Damn,” she whistled. “What’d the ice queen say?”

“That she hopes I drop out,” you said shortly, turning around. “That there’s only so much room for women at the top. She told me dance is a zero-sum game and if she helps me get a spot at Russet Company, it’d be one less spot for her to take.”

Noelle made a disappointed noise with her tongue. “See,” she said, around a mouthful of bobby pins. “That’s exactly the kind of attitude that’s kept women down for centuries. Let’s ban together to burn the men!”

Although you laughed a little, you quieted quickly. Remembering your conversation with Sabrina made your legs a bit shaky. Shutting your eyes, you took several deep breaths until you felt calmer.

“I know,” you said with a sigh. “I know that it’s stupid and ultimately, I don’t care what Sabrina thinks – but she just makes me so mad.”

“She really said she hopes you drop out?”

Opening your eyes, you nodded. “Apparently, she wants Jimin as her ballet partner.”

“W-ow.” Noelle shook her head. “This plot has more twists than the Winchester mansion.”

Unable to help it, you snorted. “Oh, well,” you said glumly, following Noelle out on the floor. “It’s probably for the best. If this is how she reacts to me asking for help, imagine how awful she’d be as an instructor.”

“Yeah, you definitely dodged a bullet there,” Noelle agreed.

When Mr. Jordan cleared his throat, this led to a scurrying of movement as everyone took their places. He began to show the combination, leading the class through the steps with an easy poise. When the time came for you to break into pairs, you were forced to look around the room before you spotted Jimin.

He stood on the opposite side from you, practicing the steps Mr. Jordan had laid out. You blinked, hesitating a moment before crossing the room to his side. Every time before now, he had come to stand beside you.

Coming to a stop, you looked at him curiously. “Why’re you over here?”

Jimin shrugged in response.

You opened your mouth to continue, but then Mr. Jordan began the partner portion of the combo. Falling silent, you stood beside Jimin while you learned the steps. He was oddly quiet. This quietness alone wasn’t enough to raise any brows, though you typically exchanged at least minimal small talk. You know, hand here, leg there, lift your arms higher – that type of thing.

His silence wasn’t the only thing about him that was odd, though. His grip on your waist felt different today – rough, almost angry as you practiced the first lift. You winced when you landed, stumbling a bit as you whirled around.

“What was that?” you demanded.

Jimin blinked innocently. “What was what?”

You stared at him a moment before deciding it wasn’t worth it. “Whatever,” you said, turning around. “Gentler, next time – okay?”

“Sure.”

Jimin moved back into place, standing in fifth position while Mr. Jordan started the song over. The combination wasn’t an adagio, comprised of slower movements, but a fast-paced pas de deux he’d created last week. You didn’t have much experience with this kind of partnering; most of your classes had preferred slower movements so far.

The fast pace required a higher level of trust with your partner, since you didn’t have time to second-guess all their movements. Apparently, Mr. Jordan had decided the fastest way to learn was to do. Jimin led you through the combination, one hand firm on your waist.

Normally, Jimin was a solid male partner to you. He knew when to push, when to hold back and when to allow you to take the lead. This no longer seemed to be the case. As you started to dance, you found yourself a bit dizzy. Jimin didn’t let you finish each spot before he whisked you around, keeping you – both literally and metaphorically – on your toes.

A swear nearly escaped when he pulled you to his chest – eyes flashing, you turned and started to boureé away. Jimin chassed forward, ending in a lunge for circular port de bras.

“You’re doing it again,” you muttered, moving behind him.

Facing forward, you piqued into arabesque.

“Doing what?” he said blithely.

Jimin twisted, grasping your hand in his as he crossed behind. Placing one hand on your hip, he waited for you to wrap your leg around him in attitude arabesque.

“You know what,” you hissed, as he walked you in a promenade.

Extending your leg fully, you lowered yourself in a penché. Contrary to their appearance, penchés were difficult to do with a partner. It involved an extension to arabesque, then bending with said leg held at a ninety-degree angle, or higher. The male helped with the motion, but his addition altered both your centers of gravity. It might have seemed logical for him to stand behind you, but he actually needed to stand slightly off center. It was easy for one – or both – of you to lose your balance.

You and Jimin had practiced the move enough that it’d become second nature – which is why you began to panic when you felt Jimin’s weight shift.

“Jimin,” you whispered, clenching your abs. “Step back!”

“Step back?” he said innocently, not moving at all.

“Yes! Jimin, you –”

He languidly stepped into the correct position, helping you up a second before you toppled over. You spun, eyes blazing and Jimin caught your knee. The smile he gave you sent rage through your veins, since it was instantly apparent he’d been fucking with you.

You imagined those cartoons where the main character’s head exploded, or became a volcano, or turned into a tea kettle that had steam escaping. This was exactly how you felt, but there was no time to respond, since the next portion of the combination was fast and required intense concentration. Shooting Jimin a glare which promised him a painful death, you continued.

Luckily, barre had been long, so only one combination remained until you were released from class. You contained your annoyance until class had ended, turned to stalk across the room the second Mr. Jordan turned off the music.

Noelle chuckled when she saw, noticing your clear annoyance. “Oh, no,” she said, glancing across the room. “What’d he do now?”

“Oh, nothing,” you seethed, tossing things in your bag. Yanking out sweatpants, you tugged these over your leotard. “Nothing a little conversation won’t fix.”

Knowingly, Noelle nodded. “Is ‘conversation’ code for beating Jimin up in the parking lot?”

Despite yourself, you laughed, slinging your bag over your shoulder. “Unfortunately not,” you said with a sigh as you walked from the room. “This’ll be a lot less fun.”

You came to a stop in the hall, some of your anger diminishing. A current of annoyance simmered beneath the surface though, since it was one thing for Jimin just not to like you – it was another entirely that he purposefully antagonize and jeopardize your career. This was exactly what you’d been worried about when you’d been assigned as partners.

“Well.” Noelle glanced at the room. “Did you want to get dinner tonight? You know, after you’re done tearing Jimin a new one.”

“Dinner sounds good,” you agreed. “I’m hanging out with Finn later, but I’m free before then.”

Noelle nodded sagely. “Good, good. I hear it’s healthy to fuel up before a massive sex marathon.”

Jimin – who’d been exiting the room – stopped short.

“Uh – what?” he said, glancing between you.

Waggling her fingers goodbye, Noelle shrugged and walked past. “Nothing for you to worry about. Good luck walking later, Park!”

Jimin stared at her as she left, completely bewildered until you grabbed him by the elbow and started dragging him away. He stumbled forward, not having expected the motion – but caught up to you fast as he tugged his arm free.

“Hey! Whoa, Y/N – what’re you doing?”

You whirled to face him in the hall.

“What was that?” you demanded.

Jimin blinked at you, uncertain. “Uh, let’s see. I was minding my own business and you just assaulted me –”

“During class,” you interrupted, gesturing at the classroom. “You had such an attitude today. You can’t even say it wasn’t purposeful, because –”

“Y/N.” Jimin stared in disbelief. “Are you seriously asking me what’s wrong? Your memory can’t be that short.”

Faltering a bit, you came to a stop. Jimin’s expression told you you were missing something big. It was last night, you realized. Jimin was mad about last night, when he’d chased you down the hall and you’d basically told him to fuck off.

“Ah,” Jimin said, seeing your understanding dawn. “I take it you remember now. That time you ambushed me in the hall and said I don’t deserve to be here?”

“That’s… that’s not what I meant by that.”

“Oh?” His laugh sounded forced. “You told me I only worked half as hard as you did.”

“Well, because you do!” you sputtered.

The words escaped despite your intent to stay cordial. Jimin was right; you had exploded last night and some of that wasn’t his fault, but the core of what you’d told him remained. Guys did have an easier time than girls in the dance world. That was just a fact.

“Come on, Y/N.” Angrily, Jimin shoved a hand through his hair. “You seriously think that I’ve had it easy? I used to hide my dance stuff in a hockey bag because all the kids at my school teased me about wearing tights.”

Somewhat uncomfortably, you recalled what Finn had said the other night at dinner. Jimin wasn’t wrong about external prejudices regarding male dancers.

“I’m not saying you weren’t teased, Jimin.”

“Teased?” He stared at you in disbelief. “Y/N. I was beat up every day on the playground for the entirety of third grade. When I was eleven, some kids filled my locker with used tampons because I was a ‘pussy.’ Freshman year, I asked a girl to the dance and she said yes – only to stand me up the night of because her friends thought it’d be funny. I once went to ballet class in bare feet for a week because some assholes stole my bag and hid it in the women’s locker room. My life was shit half the time, Y/N,” he said, with sudden vehemence. “The only reason I kept going was because I love dance more than anything else.”

Jimin stopped talking, slightly out of breath and you stared at him in shock, never having heard him this angry before.

You’d thought that you had. You’d thought he’d been angry all those times you beat him in dance, but you had never seen Jimin looking anything like this. Hurt, a little broken and fiercely determined.

In some ways, it felt like the first time you’d seen him.

“Yeah, well…” You paused, trying to gather your thoughts. “I don’t know what to say to that. That sucks.”

Jimin laughed, a bit hollow. “Yeah, sure,” he muttered, glancing away. “Fuck. I didn’t want to… make you feel bad, or whatever. That’s not why I said it. I just wanted you to know I’ve also overcome stuff to be here.”

Hearing him speak, you both bristled and wondered why he said it like that. Like he wanted you specifically to know and not someone else.

“I’m not saying you haven’t worked hard,” you admitted. “That sucks, but it doesn’t take away from the fact that there are ten female dancers for every one guy. Dance is a lot more competitive for women than men.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t also worked my ass off.”

“No one’s saying you didn’t,” you snapped, finally fed up. “I’m just saying more doors were opened for the effort you gave than for mine. And besides,” you added, unable to help yourself. “I’m sure it was real hard, coming from Harleigh Heights.”

Jimin seemed baffled by this. “What does my hometown have anything to do with this?”

“Oh, come on, Jimin. You can’t be that naïve.”

“What’re you talking about?”

“You’re rich!” you blurted. “Or at least, your family is. You could afford all those fancy master classes in the city. You had private lessons, small group lessons and whatever else your parents’ money could buy. All I had was Rita’s Dance Studio.”

Jimin hesitated. “Rita’s isn’t… bad.”

“Jimin,” you said. “I was the only person from my studio to ever place at national dance competitions.”

“That doesn’t mean the studio itself was bad!”

“You have a fucking car in the city!”

He gave you a bewildered look. “What does… that have to do with anything?”

“It’s just another reason we’re different,” you groaned, rubbing your temple. “I know you work hard. I know you do, but you’ve also had way more advantages than I have and sometimes, that sucks.”

Jimin paused. “That’s not really something I can control.”

“It’s not,” you admitted through gritted teeth. Deciding you were done with this conversation, you moved to walk past. “It isn’t your fault, but the challenges we’ve faced aren’t the same and you know it.”

Before you could leave, Jimin grabbed your arm.

He turned you to face him, barely an inch from his face. Everyone always said Jimin reminded them of a puppy – cute, loveable, and eager to please. This had never been something you agreed with. Sure, Jimin could be cute when he wanted to be, but beneath that lay a deeper hunger, an insistent desire to prove himself in a way you found all too relatable.

Jimin held your gaze. “Seeing as you’ve never walked in my shoes and I’ve never walked in yours,” he said quietly. “Why don’t we stop making comparisons?”

Your gaze narrowed a bit, but before you could respond, he continued.

“If you’re having trouble keeping up, stop making excuses and ask someone for help.” Abruptly, he dropped your arm. “Otherwise, you’ll never improve.”

Jimin left without another word, jerking his bag higher as he stalked down the hall. You watched him go, too stunned to do anything else.

His last words – however accurate – made your ears burn. Hands curled into fists, you saw red for awhile, until Jimin had gone. After several deep breaths, you finally calmed down enough to be objective.

Unfortunately, objectivity was not in your favor, because Jimin was right.

He was right about you and you hated that fact. Even if your circumstances had been different, all that had changed when you both were accepted to Russet. Now, you were on a level playing field and you were the one person hanging on to what came before. The only thing that mattered now was what happened next; if you couldn’t compete at Russet, you’d be pulled from the game.

And the one person standing in the way of success was yourself.

Jimin had nothing to do with your lack of ballet technique. Sure, he had more money than you did – seriously, who brought a car to the city? – but it wasn’t like you’d been destitute. Your parents had made enough to afford all your lessons and costumes and dance competition fees. You’d had a studio, even if it wasn’t a fancy one within city boundaries.

Exhaling, you considered the other point he had made. While it was true male dancers had certain advantages, Jimin was damn good despite this. If you were being honest, you knew he was one of the best dancers at Russet regardless of gender.

Nearly ten minutes had passed before you began to walk down the hall. Everyone else had left for lunch, so it was just you and your thoughts as you exited the building. You felt exhausted, only partly because of the intensity of Mr. Jordan’s class.

You’d always been a planner. It was something your parents had teased you about but secretly, you’d always enjoyed. Here though, you felt at a loss.

For the first time in your life, you were forced to consider what would happen if you gave dance everything you had – if you tried everything you could think of – and still came up short. Everyone always said if you loved something, keep trying and you’d eventually succeed, but you’d seen enough by now to know this wasn’t necessarily true.

Everyone at Russet was talented. Everyone here was a hard worker. You didn’t make it this far without both of those things – which meant you could have it all and still fail.

Coming to a stop on the sidewalk, you released a sigh. It was mid-September and already, the leaves had begun to change. You’d been at Russet for nearly a month and felt you’d yet to make any real progress.

Pushing this thought away, you wondered what you’d do with your life if you got kicked out. Go to a college near home, maybe. Find another career path that’d be mildly fulfilling and yet, nowhere near the release you experience through dance. The idea of it made you feel somewhat ill.

All you’d ever wanted in life was to dance. On some level, you’d thought things would be easier once you got into Russet. This had been a naïve expectation; you saw that now. Lift and the struggles which came with it refused to stop for even a second. Again, your former dance teacher’s words came to mind. If dance wasn’t truly what you wanted, it was better to give up than to go through the struggle.

You did want it, though.

Even if you had to go through hell to get it, dance was the thing which made you feel alive. If you didn’t make it at Russet, you could figure out what to do next – but until that moment came, you’d do absolutely everything necessary to make sure you stayed.

In the back of your mind, a voice whispered – even ask Jimin for help? – but you ignored it. That question could wait for another day, you decided as you walked away.

Even though he’d made some valid points, everything else still made you see red. The more you thought about it though, the more persistently his words seemed to grind away your resolve. Jimin may have been pissed at you, but he was also correct.

You could either continue to walk around campus feeling sorry for yourself, or you could improve.

Teeth gritted, you decided to do the latter.

Lounged at the foot of Finn’s bed, you scrolled through your TikTok in an endless loop.

“Ugh, my muscles are so sore,” you complained. Reaching out your foot, you poked him with your toe. “Massage them for me.”

“All of them?”

“Uh-huh.”

Grabbing your foot, Finn pulled this into his lap. To his credit, he started to give – well, not a massage, but he did something. Finn began poking the bottom of your foot with his index fingers until you finally laughed.

“Okay, not that!” you grumbled, pulling your leg back.

Finn grinned and turned a page in his book while you let your gaze linger. He looked good, dressed in sweats and a t-shirt he’d pulled on after sex. It was the first time all week you’d been truly alone; things had gone faster than usual, but that was to be expected. It had been awhile since the last time. It was nice just to see him, to touch him and talk to him – you’d missed having a semblance of normalcy in your life.

Innocently, Finn flipped the next page in his book. “What’s wrong? You didn’t enjoy the pleasure of my touch?”

“I did not, no.”

Tossing his book aside, Finn bared his teeth and began to crawl forward. With a shriek, you backed away until your spine hit the wall and you laughed.

“No,” you begged, kicking his shin as you grinned. “No tickling!”

Finn growled mercilessly, but eventually relented. Twisting, he dropped to lay his head in your lap.

“Okay,” he agreed. “I’ll just hang out here, then. My book is so far away. I guess I can’t study. Too bad.”

Although you rolled your eyes, you leaned your head to the wall. Finn’s roommate was gone for the weekend, giving you the entire place to yourselves. You knew you’d have to leave at some point – ballet class started tomorrow at 8:30 AM – but until then, you could happily live in denial.

“Don’t you have homework to do?” you asked. “Tests? Something?”

Finn shrugged. “I already studied today.”

A twinge of jealousy went through you, although you squashed this immediately. Finn’s collegiate experience was different from yours, but this was through no fault of his own.

You’d arrived at his dorm room shortly after dinner and, after unloading the crappy events of your day, Finn had merely shrugged and said his day had been fine. It seemed Finn was adapting to Redfield like a fish to water; nearly everyone you passed on your way to his room had stuck their head out to greet him.

On your way over, you’d considered asking Finn for advice about Jimin, but had given up on the idea soon after arrival. Visiting Finn was like stepping into a bubble. You knew the vision would pop as soon as you stepped outside, but it was nice to exist outside the worries of Russet.

Finn wouldn’t understand what you were going through either, which again, wasn’t his fault. His greatest stress was an upcoming test, while you were constantly on edge about whether you’d fail. There were no grades in your classes, no real way to tell if you were passing.

The most difficult part of Finn’s freshman year had been registering for his classes; a fact which cast your experience in stark perspective. If Finn dropped a class or had to miss a test, it didn’t really matter for him in the long run. It mattered for you.

Every time you’d previously mentioned Jimin to Finn, his advice had been to simply ignore him. It wasn’t the best advice, all things considered. Jimin was your assigned dance partner for the semester; you needed him in order to pass your classes.

It helped some to vent, but at the end of the day, you didn’t want Finn trying to fix things for you. That was what he did – he solved things. He loved to fix other people’s problems, loved to tie up loose ends and find neat solutions. The problem was though, you weren’t sure such easy answers existed.

Before you could suggest a movie to watch, someone knocked on the door to Finn’s dorm room.

Lifting his head from your stomach, Finn called, “Enter!”

The door swung open to reveal a tall, gangly-looking freshman in the hall. He looked at you with some surprise before glancing at Finn.

“Dude,” he said, sounding excited. “Sigma Nu is having a crazy party two blocks away. Ellie just texted saying there’s no cover for guys. A bunch of us are heading over – you in?”

“What – seriously?” Finn sat up straight. “No cover? That’s a first.”

He beamed and glanced at you, so you gave a small smile.

“It is?” you said tentatively.

Your words sounded uncertain even to your own ears, but Finn nodded excitedly. You hadn’t been out enough times this semester to notice.

“Coming!” door guy yelled to someone in the hall. Stepping back, he returned to the room. “So, you in?”

Your automatic reaction was no, since it was a Wednesday and you had class tomorrow, but before you could speak, Finn hopped from the bed.

“Sure!” he agreed, searching for his coat. “Y/N – you good with that?”

Hesitating, you fiddled with a corner of his blanket. Ideally, you’d love going to a weekday party with your boyfriend. Finn’s enthusiasm could be contagious, and you wanted to see him in his collegiate environment. He’d been the life of the party at high school and you knew it’d be the same here.

Unfortunately for you, ballet class wasn’t something you could just forget. You’d made it a personal rule not to drink before class and it would be no fun to attend a frat party sober. You were already skating on thin ice at Russet; you could only imagine what would happen if you showed up to class hungover.

“I don’t think I can,” you said softly, wishing the guy would leave Finn’s room. “I have ballet in the morning. Remember?”

“Oh.” Finn’s disappointment showed for only a moment. Hiding this swiftly, he sat back down on the bed. “Sorry, Ben,” he said, forcing a smile. “I think we’re staying in.”

Door guy – Ben, apparently – paused. “You sure?”

“Yeah.” Finn nodded. “Y/N and I already have plans.”

Ben seemed confused; you assumed from this that he wasn’t the brightest bulb in the bunch.

“Really?” he said with a frown. “I thought you said you wanted to come.”

“It’s my fault,” you interjected, feeling a bit guilty. “I have class super early in the morning.”

“Oh, is that all?” He brightened. “That’s no big deal – so do I!”

Your lips tightened, not wanting to be rude, but this guy just wasn’t getting it.

“Yeah,” you said slowly. “But I can’t be hungover for mine.”

Ben stared. “Huh. Okay, well – if you change your mind. So weird,” he laughed, exiting Finn’s room to the hall. “I didn’t even know you had a girlfriend, Finn? Later!”

Pulling the door shut, he left the two of you in silence.

You stared in shock at the door, attempting to process everything you were feeling.

There was guilt at keeping Finn from something he wanted to do. Longing, from not being able to do the fun things that you wanted. And nausea, at hearing Ben say he didn’t know Finn had a girlfriend.

Hesitant, you glanced in Finn’s direction, but found him looking away – at the ceiling, at the floor, anywhere but at you.

“So…” You paused. “What was that about?”

“What do you mean?” Finn leaned back on the bed. Turning on his TV, he navigated to Netflix. “Want to watch a movie, or something?”

“I guess.”

You continued to sit there, clutching his blanket and staring blankly at the screen. After another moment, you decided this couldn’t be brushed aside and faced him on the bed.

“Why haven’t you told anyone you have a girlfriend?”

Finn looked at you, surprised. “I have!”

“Oh?” you said, glancing at the door. “Then, why didn’t he know?”

Finn snorted. “Ben? Look – I like him, but the dude’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. As you may have noticed,” he added, giving a pointed brow raise.

Begrudgingly, you nodded. You had noticed.

“Hey.” Finn sat up straight. Clicking off the TV, he scooted closer on the bed. “I swear I’ve told people about you,” he said, taking your hands. “Promise. Ben is just an idiot. The instant someone is off-limits to them, they turn invisible. He’s probably even forgotten his sister by now.”

“Gross,” you said, wrinkling your nose.

Finn nodded in agreement. “Exactly. Ben’s an ass. I wouldn’t even hang out with him if it weren’t for the other guys on the floor. College. You know how it is.”

“Sure,” you said slowly, although you really didn’t.

There were multiple people on your floor and at Russet whom you didn’t like. You weren’t unfriendly to them, of course – with Sabrina being the exception – but neither did you hang out with them just because you were classmates. This entire world of collegialism was foreign to you.

“I love you,” Finn said.

Finally, you cracked a smile. “Love you, too.” Sliding both arms around his waist, you settled down on his chest. “Sucks about Ben being a dick, though.”

Finn laughed, brushing a kiss to your hair. “I think I’ll survive.”

You shook your head, knowing he was right. Finn always got through things like this; troubles seemed to easily roll off his back like water. You watched him turn on the TV and choose a comedy on Netflix.

When the first scene began, you tried hard to relax, but this proved to be difficult. In high school, you’d been able to compartmentalize fairly easily but now, you found worries steadily leaking back in. Your Finn-bubble, the one which had always been so impenetrable, had started to become porous.

Worries about Russet, about your classes, about your teachers began to seep in and no longer did Finn’s dorm room seem like such a haven.

You didn’t belong here.

The thought occurred to you suddenly, as obvious as knowing the main characters on screen would eventually get together. Finn’s world was entirely different from yours, completely alien from Russet and you had no idea how to navigate the two worlds together.

It made you uneasy to consider, seated with your head on his shoulder and arms around his waist, but instead of facing this knowledge head-on, you pushed it away.

Too many things were being kept in your mind-boxes and, instead of disappearing, the thought continued to linger. It followed as you left Finn’s dorm, walked through the city streets, up the steps of Grace Hall and all the way to your bed.

Author’s Note: Thank you for reading 😊 New chapters of Raise the Barre will be posted weekly; dates are listed on the series Master List. Requests for updates will be deleted.

[ RAISE THE BARRE MASTERLIST ]

#btsbookclub #bangtanarmynet #smutcentralnet #jimin fanfic #bts fanfic #bts writing #bts series #jimin writing #jimin series #jimin e2l #bts e2l #jimin dance au #bts dance au

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the-mad-starker · 3 years

Text

Starker Smut: Perks and Quirks of Being Tony Stark's Bestie

Based off this ask sent by @starkeristheendgame :

Are you even friends if you don't try to out-cum each other? (Could also be out-fuck)

Ty for sending that ask! It really got me inspired and motivated to write (which hasn't happened in so long so 😭💗) I feel like this fic is a bit odd but 🤷🤷 also, if the formatting's weird, sorry 😭 Tumblr fighting me on this

Notes: College AU, same age Starker, porn watching (some straight porn then gay porn), handjob, friends with benefits? Friends to lovers? (I also like to think Oblivious Idiots in love 😅)

WC: 3674 (AO3) 💗💗💗 There are certainly perks to being Tony Stark's best friend. Peter knows it well but he's never taken advantage. It's always been Tony that pushes him into accepting things or just drags him along for the ride. It'd been that way since they met in high school and while Peter got into MIT on his own merit, he never would've been able to afford the cozy two bedroom apartment five minutes away from campus on his own.

"As if I'd let my best friend stay in the dorms," Tony had scoffed with a roll of his eyes, "You'd think you'd know better by now, Petey baby. You're stuck with me so just shut up and say yes." There are certainly perks but then there's… other stuff. Tony's been called the genius of their generation but he also has a few weird quirks that Peter's not sure anyone else would understand. Or at least there'd be a few raised eyebrows if they knew.

When Peter walks into their apartment, he expects Tony to be furiously working on something in the kitchen or living room. If he's in the kitchen, whatever he's working on would definitely not be food.When Peter walks into their apartment, he expects Tony to be furiously working on something in the kitchen or living room. If he's in the kitchen, whatever he's working on would definitely not be food. He's not in either of the rooms so Peter pads over to Tony's bedroom. The door's unlocked and Peter unsuspectingly walks in. As expected, he finds Tony there and the other boy is sitting on his bed. Given the heat, it's not surprising that he's wearing a white tank top but little else. His pants are in a crumpled mess on the floor which leaves him in just his boxers. This is where most people would jump back or run away because Tony isn't just lazing around in bed. Nope, Tony has his headphones in and he's lazily jerking off, eyes fixed on the laptop screen in front of him. Peter's attention is caught by the slow, captivating strokes his friend makes as he plays with himself. It's only natural that that's where Peter's eyes go. The way Tony touches himself is almost hypnotic. His cock is flushed pink and Peter can see that swollen tip poke out whenever the other boy strokes downwards, squeezing along the length until he reaches the base. Peter enjoys the view because Tony makes an attractive sight. Neither of them are really into sports but Tony's body is still solid with hard earned muscles. While Peter has his hyped up metabolism to thank for his lean body, Tony's probably earned his from all the hands-on work he does fixing cars and engineering. Watching Tony like this… It has to be a pavlovian response because this isn't anything new. It's actually become a habit, someone walking in on the other and casually inviting the intruder for a jerk off porn session. Once he sees what Tony's doing, his own body quickly heats up in anticipation. Peter huffs and leans against the doorway, angling his body to hide the evidence away. His arms cross over his chest and he feels his heart beating in excitement. "Do you have any decency?" Peter quips, voice pitched loud enough to get Tony's attention. "Should I come back later?" The other boy pauses and pulls off one of his headphones. Instead of being embarrassed like a normal human being, he grins at Peter. He looks happy to see him which probably isn't the normal response someone should have when their jerkoff session gets interrupted. "Hey, Peter," Tony says and gives his cock a few slow tugs while he talks. "How was class?" He lets go of his cock and gives a nice, slow stretch as though he'd been in that position for a while. It bobs in the air, slick with lube and still achingly hard. Peter sympathizes because his own cock has taken an interest and it's now straining against his pants. Peter then notices the wad of tissues in the small trash can by the bed and his nose wrinkles. "It was alright," he answers. "How many times did you do it already?" Tony follows his gaze and it's only then that he ruefully smiles at Peter. "Do it? You mean, come?" He laughs a little, "You're so weird, Peter. Can't even say come?" Peter blushes but doesn't back down. "You're the one jerking off in front of me," he retaliates. "If it's more than five, I'm leaving." "No, no, don't go," Tony protests. "It was, hmm, twice?" He

shrugs, "You can still catch up." Twice. Tony has already jerked off two times. There's no rule that they have to wait for each other to start but Peter considers saying there should be. "I have homework," Peter hedges, a clumsy excuse because when do they not have homework? Tony rolls his eyes and pats the space next to him. "All the better to get it all out of your system. C'mon, sit down already," he says in an attempt to convince Peter. "Besides, I want your opinion on this vid." Peter pretends to consider it for a second but he's never needed much convincing. It's as he thought earlier, there are certainly perks to being Tony's best friend but then there's this… thing they have going on. Peter doesn't know what to classify it because it's not like they have sex with each other and they're definitely not dating. Tony's just like this, so carefree, curious, and wild. The older boy shows no hesitation when it comes to talking about porn or sex with Peter. It might just be Peter, though, because he's never caught Tony doing it with anyone else. Maybe mildly flirting but then, that's just Tony's personality. He likes to joke around, likes to flirt, and apparently likes to watch porn with Peter. Maybe Peter's the only one that isn't weird about this, about watching porn with a friend. He kind of likes that idea, that he's the only friend Tony does this with. "Okay, fine, fine," Peter says as he unbuttons his pants. Tony smirks at him once he sees how hard he is but Peter just rolls his eyes. What does Tony expect, really? It's pointless to try to hide it now. He does, however, nearly fold his pants and sets them aside because May taught him better. He moves closer and Tony scoots over to give him space. There's ample room on the bed, Tony has a king for some reason, but since they're watching the porno on Tony's laptop, Peter remains close enough that their knees touch. "Ready?" Tony asks but he immediately tugs the plugged headphones out. The telltale sounds of an adult film immediately spills into the room. High pitched moans and the dirty wet sounds of a mouth sucking on a cock. Tony's been on an oral fixation lately. The last two videos they've watched were blowjobs. They never really watch the same video twice because that defeats the purpose of Peter being there to critique it. He settles down in his spot, his left knee and elbow brushing Tony's while his right forearm rests on his thigh. His hand barely brushes against the bulge his erection makes in his boxers. "I'll give you a head start," Tony says to which Peter shushes him. The video that Tony's picked out today has a woman on her knees. She's working on her partner's cock, stroking whatever part of it that isn't in her mouth. Drool drips down her chin and her red lipstick is smeared on her face as she sucks her partner off. It's not exactly Peter's taste but he can tell the woman is Tony's type. Curly honey brown hair cut short to her shoulders. She reminds him of a girl next door type of person, someone he could bump into on the street and never realize she does these kinds of videos. He almost startles when he feels Tony nudge the bottle of lube against his arm. "Thanks," Peter says absentmindedly as he takes it. He's watching the video and his body is slowly starting to heat up. He only knows Tony's returned to jerking off because he feels the other boy's elbow bump against him. A glance to his side confirms it but when he looks up, a shock of heat sears through his body when their eyes meet. Tony doesn't look away so Peter has to. Heat blooms across his cheeks and crawls down his neck. He's always had a hard time looking Tony in the eye while they're doing this. The other boy's gaze is just always so intense like the subject to be investigated isn't the video but Peter. It's a silly thought though. "She's not as loud as the last one," Peter says to offset the awkwardness. His voice is calm and collected but inside, he's shivering from the memory of Tony's eyes on him. Peter squeezes his cock through his boxers. He's already so

hard that just touching himself like this has him trembling in pleasure. Without looking at his friend, he takes himself out. "Yeah," Tony agrees. He already sounds breathless and Peter dares to take a peek at him again. "It was a little distracting last time, all that moaning sounded really fake so I thought this might be better." Fortunately or unfortunately, Tony isn't looking at him this time. He's back to watching the screen, his hand curled around his erection and giving it the same slow teasing strokes as before. Maybe he's pacing himself since Peter still has to catch up. Peter hums in agreement and forces his eyes back to the video. It doesn't really keep his attention though and his mind wanders, eyes glazing over as he focuses more on the sounds filling the room. His mind seems more in tune with what's happening around him though and he zeros in on the sound of Tony's breathing as it turns into soft panting. His own breathing escalates to match his friend's and Peter jerks himself off to the sound of Tony's breathless panting, to the wet sound of flesh sliding against flesh next to him. He lets out a moan himself. It feels good to touch himself after a long day of classes and with Tony next to him, it feels even better. A sharp inhale next to him has Peter's back straightening as he looks at Tony who's biting down on his lip while watching the screen. Tony's eyes flicker to him and his white teeth press down on his bottom lip. "You better not come," Peter grits out even as he's holding back from releasing. "You– ah– You said you'd let me catch up." "Yeah, I won't," Tony grunts, "don't take too long though, I've been holding back for a while now." "Literally no one told you to," Peter says. His voice has lowered into a strained, breathy murmur. "I'm almost there so just– just wait, okay? You're distracting me." Tony rolls his eyes but ends up chuckling breathlessly. He stops stroking but starts massaging his balls. He lets out a moan as soon as he starts and that has Peter squeezing his eyes shut, his hips stuttering as he fucks his cock into his fist. His heart is going crazy and he stops fighting it. He spills right there, his load coming out hard and fast. It ends up getting over his stomach and he milks it out, squeezing the tip of the last few drops. When Peter finally finished, his nose wrinkles at the mess. "Should've taken your shirt off," Tony says, voice strained. Peter shoots him a friendly glare which softens when he finds that his friend is still holding back. Tony's face is flushed, his eyes bright with desperation. And yet, he hasn't come even when it's obvious he's ready to pop off. On the screen, the video is still playing but Tony grimaces. "Let's switch it up," he says while absentmindedly fondling his balls. "Sure." Tony leans forward a bit and uses the touchpad on his laptop to search around. Peter's trying his hardest not to stare at the other boy's erection. It doesn't soften in the least and Peter just wants to reach out and touch it. He wants to feel the warmth of Tony's skin, wants to hear what kind of noises Tony will make if he dares to do it. To touch Tony… "Okay, this'll be a little different," Tony says when he leans back into position. "But I don't think you'll mind. Tell me if you do and I'll find something else." A new video starts and Peter glances at it without much interest. Then he almost does a double take when he sees it's two men on the screen. Tony's never put in a gay porno before, he couldn't have chosen one now… Could he? "A threesome?" Peter says curiously. His heart is pounding and then it goes into overdrive when the two men start making out. "I can look for one next time if you want?" Tony offers. When Peter looks at him, the other boy has a lazy smirk. He's not bothered at all by the two men kissing on screen and Peter swallows down the spit in his mouth. "No, this is… this is good. It's fine," Peter says. He tears his eyes away and returns to the video. "You're hard again," Tony comments nonchalantly. Peter looks down and yeah…

Yeah, he's hard. He's watching a gay porno with his friend. Tony either picked up that this is more to Peter's preference or… Or this is Tony's preference, too. Either option makes Peter want to run away or hide under a blanket. He does neither because he's not going to make this weird. "You have good taste," Peter says, "They're both really hot." Tony chuckles beside him. "Damn right, I do." They both fall silent and they're both more engrossed in this film. Peter actually takes the time to invest in what's going on. Both men are attractive and hot as hell. They don't waste any time stripping each other off and the expanse of newly exposed skin has Peter squeezing his cock. Despite this, he can't help glancing at Tony. He can't help wondering. Their eyes keep meeting and this time, Peter doesn't look away. Neither does Tony. He greedily takes everything in, admiring the way Tony's hair, previously slicked back, is falling into his eyes. Tony's mouth is also slightly parted and a quick pink tongue flicks out to wet dry lips. Peter wants to bite at them. Something changes between them at this moment. They're watching both the film and each other. For Peter, his attention is clearly on Tony and it's Tony that's making his cock hard. But even if it feels like something's changed, Peter still toes the line of their friendship. "Are you getting close again?" Tony pants. He's struggling not to come. Peter can tell by how he's gently tugging on his balls in an attempt to hold off. Peter bites down on his lip cause he's not quite there yet but he wants to so badly. He wants to come with Tony watching him but he just can't seem to do it. "I don't think I can," Peter groans. "Ugh, Tony, I'm getting tired…" Something in his expression must give his frustration away because Tony shuffles closer which makes Peter's heart go berserk. Not only does Tony come closer but he moves behind Peter. His legs stretch out, bracketing Peter's body. Suddenly, Tony's so much closer. Too close for comfort because Peter had just said he couldn't come but like this, it'd be so easy. It fuels all sorts of dirty imaginations that he shouldn't be having about his friend but... "I got an idea," Tony says, pressed so close against Peter's back. Surely, he can feel Peter's heart thumping like crazy? "What do you– Oh…!" Peter's entire body would've basically jumped in the air if it isn't for Tony's arms around him. "It's not fun if I win all the time, so we should at least end this in a tie, right, Pete?" Tony says. "Lemme help, okay?" Peter's wide-eyed and his hips buck uncontrollably when Tony's hand settles over his own. There's no mistaking what Tony wants to do. He shudders when Tony grips his cock. Those sturdy fingers that Peter often admires press down on him causing him to tighten his grip on his cock. Tony's touching him… Tony's touching his cock. Tony wants to help jerk him off. Peter might just come right then and there. "Tony– You're… touching me…" The words come out as an embarrassing squeak but Peter can scarcely believe it. "Mhmm…" Tony murmurs, amusement in that one single hum. Peter had just started the obvious so of course, he'd be amused. In any other circumstances, maybe Peter would be too. Instead, he feels like he's dreaming. He's looking down at his body, specifically between his legs where Tony's tanned hand is curled around his. "C'mon, Pete, either move your hand or I'll move it for you," Tony says right into his ear. That gets Peter moving and he starts stroking again, clumsy with the added weight of another hand. It shouldn't feel good because their hands are bumping and Tony being pressed against him is making him so… so flustered. But it does feel good. it feels so good that Peter's fighting tooth and nail not to come right away. He doesn't want this to end yet. Eventually, Tony does take over. When he pulls Peter's hand off by the wrist, Peter just shudders and lets him. His hand falls to the side and he grabs the bed sheets just to have some sort of anchor. He squeaks when Tony adds more

lube. "Sorry. Here, I'll make you feel good…" Tony promises him and he keeps true to his word. He practices those smooth steady strokes on Peter's cock and Peter recognizes the motion. It turns him on so much, he's clenching his teeth to hold back all those embarrassing moans that want to escape. "Tony…" Peter gasps. "I-It feels..." "Too slow? Too soft?" Tony chuckles. "I got you, Pete. Relax and lemme take care of it." Peter squeezes his eyes shut as Tony increases his pace. His grip tightens a little but it's enough to have Peter gasping out his name again. It's exactly what Peter needs and he whimpers, hips twitching toward the delicious friction Tony's hand provides. His ears burn from the wet sounds Tony's hand makes while he's jerking him off, all those embarrassing squelches and not to mention the feeling… Tony's grilling him just right, giving him a warm, wet hole to thrust his cock into… How can something so simple as another person touching him feel so much better than his own hand? His hips continue to move, thrusting into his friend's tight grip. He's so aware of every point of contact between their bodies. "Isn't this weird?" Peter starts to babble, "The porn was one thing but Tony– You're touching my– Isn't this too much?" "Is it? I'm just trying to get you caught up," Tony says as though it's entirely reasonable. Then he chuckles and Peter shivers at the warmth of his breath fanning across his nape, "Are you even friends if you don't try to out-come each other?" It's so ridiculous that it makes Peter huff out a laugh even while his cock is now a leaking mess in Tony's fist. "You're ridiculous–" he gasps. "And you're about to cum," Tony says. Peter can hear the triumph in his voice. It's the last thought he has before Tony's hand squeezes him just right. He's coming before he even realizes it and the outpouring of pleasure has him arching his back, gasping and shuddering in ecstasy. Tony's arms keep him grounded, pressed as he is against the front of his friend's body. "Oh, fuck, yeah," Tony breathes. His head hangs between his shoulders and it's in the perfect position to see how his load comes spilling out of his cockhead, all messy and being milked out by his friend in gentle squeezes. He feels something hot and hard poke against his back. Oh, yeah… Tony still hasn't come. Despite having his orgasm milked out of him, Peter's body is still hot. Actually, it's even worse now because Tony's arms are still around him. Tony's face is still buried against his neck, his breath adding fuel to the heat inside him with every puff of warm air against his sensitive skin. The video has long since ended and Tony doesn't seem to care about putting another one on. It's just them now with no excuse for what they're doing. Peter leans back and he can feel Tony's cock rub against him, so hot and demanding. Tony grumbles when Peter pulls away but he doesn't get the chance to complain. Peter shoves him so he's lying flat on his back, those familiar brown eyes wide with surprise and arousal. "Since we're trying new things," Peter says, breathless and barely containing the urge to straddle Tony's hips. "Mind if I try something?" Tony's hands curl into loose fists before they relax and he gives Peter a look that he's never seen before. Bedroom eyes… Now Peter understands what those words mean. By the curve of his smart mouth and the dark, hungry look in his eyes, he's inviting Peter to do whatever he wants with him. "I'm always up for new things," he says then smirks, "Quite literally this time." The amused look on Tony's face quickly fades when Peter settles between his legs. He leans down, takes a hold of the other boy's cock by the base to steady it. It twitches in his hand and Tony's eyes are fixated on Peter's lips hovering over his tip. Peter loves the way Tony's watching him. "I don't mind if you win this time, Tones," he says, "so don't hold back, okay?" With that said, he closes the distance and takes Tony's cock into his mouth.

#starker #madstarker writes #nff #college au #friends to lovers #mads is a mess

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when-they-write-stuff · 4 years

Text

Fucking Stiles Stilinski.

That’s what Derek would like to say.

Fucking Stiles Stilinski and his stupid face, his stupid smile, and the stupid way that Derek would always see him in the hallways and that bright look in his eyes always made him stumble. Fucking Stiles Stilinski and the way that Derek couldn’t get him out of his head for some reason.

For some stupid, unbelievable reason.

Cora thought it was hilarious. Derek thought it was the most annoying thing ever.

Stiles was the most annoying thing ever.

“Hale!”

Derek nearly stumbled over his own feet at Coach’s shout, turning around to see a basketball sailing right toward his face. Eyes rounding, he barely had the chance to duck as laughter filled the air and he glared across the gym— where all the cheerleaders stood in their little group, Stiles right splat in the middle.

Fucking Stiles Stilinski.

“I said, Hale!”

Growling, Derek turned back around as Coach stalked toward him. Derek’s older sister used to tell him that Coach’s bite was worse than his bark, but Derek had come to realize that was utter bull. If there was one thing BHHS’s basketball coach was good at, it was yelling.

“Where the hell is your head, Hale?” Coach shouted, jabbing him on the forehead. Derek swallowed another growl and let the man poke away, knowing better than to ever avidly seek out Coach’s wrath. “You’re living in a daydream today!”

“Sorry, Coach,” Derek mumbled, dropping his gaze. The sound of laughter was still in the air, though, and his eyes snapped back up unconsciously, over Coach’s shoulder as he took in Stiles’s bright and grinning face.

He was always grinning and that bothered Derek like nothing else. The way his eyes would dance, his laughter would make Derek’s heart skip a beat, and— and—

“Hale!”

Derek blinked at the shout right in his ear, feeling like he’d just been dunked into cold water. Coach was scowling now and Derek felt his face turn redder, wishing he could be anywhere else but practice at the moment. “Uh, right. Sorry, Coach.”

“Yeah, kid, you’ve said that already. Are you feeling alright today?”

“I’m fine,” Derek said, forcing himself not to look back over at where Stiles was. “Really.”

“Good,” Coach said. “Because if you miss the game this week, I’m taking you off the starting lineup for the rest of the season.”

Derek looked back at the man in alarm, but Coach just raised his hands, turning away.

“Don’t force my hand, Hale.”

Derek watched him walk away and then despite himself, despite everything, glanced over his shoulder. Most of the cheerleaders had lost interest at this point— except for Stiles. Stiles, who was still staring at him, that crooked smile still hanging on his lips. And the moment his eyes met Derek’s, something in his expression changed. He grinned wider, raised a hand, and Derek quickly turned back around.

He wasn’t doing this. He wasn’t… ugh.

Fucking Stiles Stilinski.

“I don’t know why, man,” Stiles said, slamming his locker shut. “But the guy hates me. You should’ve seen him at practice yesterday.”

“I don’t think he hates you,” Scott said, shrugging on his backpack. Stiles shot him a disbelieving look and the boy shrugged, starting down the hall with Stiles at his side. “I just don’t think he knows you. I mean, you guys never even talk, right?”

Stiles glowered. “I was his chemistry partner last semester and I’ve been on the cheerleading team since I was a freshman. He should know me well enough to at least smile back when I wave hi.”

“He just ignored you?”

Stiles rolled his eyes. “I dunno, dude. He gets all weird, clams up, and then pretends like I don’t exist.”

Scott gave him a curious look, but Stiles wasn’t paying his friend any attention anymore. Speaking of the devil, he eyed Derek as they passed him and a few of his buddies gathered around their lockers. And for a moment— one brief, making Stiles’s stomach clench moment— grey-green eyes met his own.

But then Hale’s face tightened, his eyes snapped away, and he slammed his locker so hard, all of his buddies jumped.

Stiles rolled his eyes, walking faster past. “See what I mean?”

Scott was still giving him a strange look. But Stiles only half-noticed it, forcing himself not to glance over his shoulder as the sounds of the jocks' voices faded. Glaring down at the floor, he wondered what the hell was so wrong with him. Or maybe what the hell was so wrong with Derek Hale.

So Stiles might have been crushing on him for three years now. So what? It wasn’t like it actually mattered judging by the fact that Hale had never even really acknowledged his existence anyway.

“Whatever,” Stiles said. “Screw Derek Hale.”

“Sure, man,” Scott said, shaking his head. And honestly, Stiles thought he was holding something back. But did he care? Absolutely not. Stiles had no cares in the world.

Especially not about Derek Hale.

“I’m just saying,” Erica said, readjusting her uniform and dabbing at her glossed lips. “If you like him so much, you should consider talking to him once in a while.”

Derek pulled a face, making Boyd snort at the girl’s side, one arm wrapped around her waist. The rest of the cafeteria was far too loud around them and he was trying to concentrate on the chemistry homework that he had definitely not done. Back when Stiles had been his partner, Derek had actually been driven to get it done, if only to impress the boy. Not like it’d ever worked, he didn’t think.

He didn’t really know how the hell to impress Stiles Stilinski.

“I don’t like him,” Derek growled, ignoring Isaac’s disbelieving scoff. “I just think he has no right being so loud and what the hell is up with the outfit?”

Erica shot him an obvious look, gesturing down at her own, and Derek rolled his eyes.

“That’s different.”

“Is it?” Isaac asked mildly, attention fixed on the orange he was trying and failing to peel. “Or is it because whenever you catch the sight of Stilinski in a crop top on the court, you trip over your own feet and lose the ball?”

Derek shot him an annoyed look. Isaac wasn’t even paying attention.

“He’s right,” Erica said, smirking wickedly. “But if you’d like, Der, I can put in a good word. Stiles is my Batman and he sure could use his own Clark Kent.”

“Shut up.”

“Okay, whatever,” the girl shrugged. “Just tell me if you change your mind.”

Derek glowered even more, gaze still drifting across the cafeteria. Totally not toward the table where Stiles sat surrounded by his friends, Scott’s arm slung over his shoulders in a way that definitely didn’t make Derek frown.

“Whipped,” Erica snorted across from him. Derek turned the weight of his glare toward her, trying to wipe at least some of that knowing smirk from her lips.

It didn’t work.

If Stiles was sure of one thing, it was that Mr. Harris hated him.

It wasn’t like chemistry was his least favorite class or anything— or at least, it didn’t use to be. But he was pretty sure Mr. Harris hated him with all his heart and soul, and that had kind of soured the class for Stiles as the year went on.

Which was why when the man stuck them with some lame-ass book assignment and proceeded to get on his phone, acting like none of his students existed, Stiles shot Scott a grin and held out his hand, making a grabby gesture.

“How much money would you give me to flip this table, right here, right now, in the middle of class?”

Scott gave him a wide-eyed look, which only made Stiles grin wider.

“Cause I swear, I’ll do it.”

“Don’t,” Scott said, eyes darting nervously to where Harris sat. “He’ll have you in detention for the rest of the year.”

“It’s almost over anyway,” Stiles said, still grinning. “And he can’t give me detention if I accidentally ‘fall’ now can he? Twenty bucks and I’ll make him forget all about this stupid time filler assignment, easy peasy.”

“Stiles—”

“I’ll take you up on that.”

Stiles turned around, blinking in surprise at Erica Reyes. She smirked, nodding toward Harris.

“But you have to do it so hard, he falls out of his chair.”

Stiles looked at her for a long moment, debating. At the desk beside her, Boyd shifted a little nervously, but didn’t say anything to talk his girlfriend down. Chewing on his lower lip, Stiles thought for one more moment, then grinned brightly, holding out his hand.

“Deal.”

“Money after,” Erica said, eyes glinting. “But he has to be out of his chair, Stilinski.”

Scott was still giving him a pleading look, but Stiles pretended like he didn’t see it as he turned back around. Harris was still fixated on his phone, feet propped up on his desk. Stiles studied the man, tilted his head, and then shoved himself up so fast, his chair went tipping and he caught the underside of the table, taking it with him as everything went spilling to the floor.

There was a shout, a yelp. Stiles watched in absolute glee as Harris jerked so hard, he kicked his coffee cup off his desk and his chair tumbled backward, taking the man and the cord of his laptop, wrapped around his foot, with him.

For a moment, the classroom was silent. Stiles glanced back at Erica, who looked like she was just barely containing a fit of laughter.

Then, “Stilinski!”

Stiles winced, shooting Erica one last look. Her face was bright red now. “Twenty bucks, Reyes.”

“Derek will cover me,” Erica said, jerking her head to the table across the room. Stiles looked over, startled, to see Hale looking at him with wide green eyes, face a little pale.

Stiles offered a weak smile, raising a hand in a small wave. And then the boy was looking sharply away.

Stiles didn’t even have a chance to feel insulted before Harris had grabbed the back of his collar and dragged him from the room.

Stiles did, after all, get Friday afternoon detention for the next month, despite his protests that the whole ‘table flipping accident’ was really an accident. He supposed it was worth it though; twenty bucks was a two or three milkshakes at his favorite diner if he didn’t get fries.

“I can’t believe you, dude,” Scott said, elbowing him in the side. “That was so stupid.”

“That was so genius,” Stiles said, elbowing him back. “Harris completely forgot about the assignment and I’m up twenty bucks.”

The boy just grilled his eyes. “From Derek?”

The grin slipped off of Stiles’s lips. In all of the excitement, he'd completely forgotten about Erica absolutely screwing him over. Catching his expression, Scott barked a laugh, patting him on the back and starting away.

“Best of luck with that, man.”

“Hey, wait! Scotty? Scott!”

The thing about Derek Hale is that Stiles wasn’t really intimidated by him, per-say. Sure, the guy was a year older, constantly gave him the cold shoulder, and was always surrounded by his ‘too cool for school’ jock buddies. But Stiles was also pretty sure Derek was a bit of a nerd. Even if it was just secretly so.

He’d probably been the best chemistry partner Stiles had ever had. Even if he’d pretended like Stiles didn’t exist the entire time.

He sought him out before the game, heart thudding against his chest in a way that Stiles didn’t really understand. It was hard enough separating Derek Hale from his buddies, but his sister also stuck to his side— and she was intimidating.

Cora was Stiles’s grade and, like him, a few classes ahead. She also scared the crap out of Stiles whenever those eyes lit up with anything close to mischief.

“Good afternoon, Stilinski,” she said as Stiles approached, arms folded across her chest. “Nice top.”

Stiles glanced down at himself and then rolled his eyes, glancing at Derek. For some reason, the boy looked a little constipated and his face was bright red. “Erica owes me twenty bucks.”

Cora raised an eyebrow, glancing over at her brother. Derek just stared.

Stiles sighed. “She said you’d cover her.”

“She— what?”

“Twenty bucks, dude,” Stiles said, sticking out his hand. “Pay up.”

Cora made a scoffing noise and clapped Derek on the shoulder before giving Stiles an amused look. “And that’s my cue to leave. Go easy on him, Stiles. Derek gets a little tongue-tied when he can see skin.”

Stiles blinked, unsure what to do with any part of that sentence. But Derek’s face was red all the way to his ears now and before Stiles could say a word, he was turning away too, starting toward the locker room.

Stiles blinked again, rooted to the spot for a moment. Then, shaking his head, he started after the boy.

“Hey, dude, wait!”

Derek did not, in fact, wait.

Stiles followed him into the locker room, stumbling over his own feet as he tried to catch up. Derek went straight for his locker and started to tug off his shirt, making Stiles yelp and avert his eyes.

Which was stupid, right? Yeah, that was stupid. It’s not like he’d never seen another dude change in the literal locker room before.

“I don’t have your money,” Derek said, sounding like he was grinding his teeth together. Stiles licked his lips nervously, turning to face the boy again.

He was still shirtless.

“Uh, right,” Stiles said, shaking his head. Silently, he willed Derek to pull on his jersey or maybe just stop stripping altogether. His mind was blank for the entire time that Derek finally pulled his basketball jersey over his head, raising an eyebrow afterward as if he didn’t know why Stiles was still within spitting distance of him.

“Well?”

Stiles opened his mouth, closed it, and then frowned. “Okay, dude, what the hell is your problem?”

Derek paused with the jersey half pulled down his torso. Stiles tried not to blush.

“You’ve literally only spoken to me like twice,” Stiles said. “And still hate me for some reason. Have I ever done something to offend you? Are you offended by all that is—” he gestured to himself up and down— “This?”

Hale looked taken aback. Stiles’s throat tightened.

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I don’t…” Derek shook his head and pulled his jersey all the way down. “You’re fine.”

“I’m fine?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess.”

Stiles stared at him. He couldn’t see much of the boy’s face in the darkness, but he was pretty sure he was still lying about something. Derek grabbed his bag, starting to brush past, but Stiles caught his arm before he could go anywhere.

Derek made a noise of surprise, spinning back around. And Stiles quickly let go, retreating a step back, and promptly got his feet caught in his own bag, a noise of surprise leaving his mouth before he started to topple over.

He definitely wasn’t going to be fine after this, some part of his brain supplied helpfully.

Only, Stiles didn’t brain himself. Suddenly, there was a hand around his forearm and seconds before Stiles hit the lockers, Derek hauled him back up, grunting slightly.

Except, just because Stiles excelled at making bad things even worse, he found himself lurching forward with the momentum, slamming right into his so-called “you’re fine, I guess” savior.

This time, it was Derek’s turn to go toppling. And the only help Stiles provided was him falling right after the boy.

In all the ways he could die, Stiles never thought it would be death by angry-jock-who-just-got-tackled. Underneath him, Derek’s eyes were wide, face pale, and Stiles stared back, pretty sure his heart had stopped beating in his chest.

For a moment, he was almost terrified to breathe. Then, slowly, he realized he wasn’t dead yet.

“Um,” Stiles said, face turning hot. “Sorry.”

He half-expected Derek to shove him off or maybe give him a good punch in the face first. But instead, the boy just stayed there, frozen, eyes wide and pupils dilated. Stiles felt his throat close, carefully starting to push himself up.

“Stiles,” Derek said croakily. Stile abruptly froze.

“Oh my god, dude, I’m so sorry. Did I break something? Please tell me I didn’t break anything.”

Derek was still staring at him. And Stiles didn’t mean to drop his gaze to the other boy’s lips, he really didn’t. It wasn’t like he’d never imagined what it would be like if Derek one day kissed him. Possibly after he realized Stiles actually existed, possibly after he realized how damn hot Stiles was.

Because he was, thank you very much.

“Stiles,” Derek said again. And Stiles realized he’d been staring for much too long.

Shit.

In a second, Stiles was pushing himself up. He half dragged Derek with him, swaying a little as his heart thudded against his chest. The silence in the locker room was almost too loud as Derek stared at him for a long moment, chest rising and falling a little too fast.

“So,” Stiles said, running a hand through his hair awkwardly. “About that twenty dollars—”

He was cut off by the action of Derek kissing him.

Derek Hale. Derek Hale was kissing him and Stiles was pretty sure he hadn’t just hit his head too hard when they both fell or something. For a moment, he was too surprised to do anything but make a startled noise at the back of his throat, and then Derek was crowding him against the lockers, one hand carding through his hair as Stiles came snapping back to himself like a rubber band stretched too far.

Derek Hale was kissing him. And dammit if Stiles didn’t kiss him back the moment Stiles exe. was working again.

If he found out later that he had just hit his head too hard or maybe Derek had actually killed him, Stiles supposed he’d be fine. He’d be fine because yeah, he’d probably thought about this a thousand times, but he’d never actually seen it happening.

He also kinda hadn’t ever done anything like this before, so he really hoped Derek wasn’t about to call him the worst kisser ever or something.

Stiles let Derek take the lead as the boy tightened his grip in Stiles’s hair. And yeah, he was so glad he’d decided to let it grow out Sophomore year. Because this? This was every one of his fantasies.

Suddenly, there was the sound of a buzzer from outside.

Stiles jerked so hard, he slammed his head against the lockers, groaning in pain as the kiss broke. He felt a little dazed, a lot shocked, and the moment he opened his eyes, Derek was looking at him with that ‘caught in headlights’ expression again.

Buzzer, some part of Stiles’s brain offered.

The game.

“Oh, shit,” Stiles said, snapping back to reality. If he was the reason that the star player of the basketball team was late to the game, Lydia was totally going to kick him off the cheer squad. Derek was starting to look a little more grounded too, thankfully, and even in the dim light, Stiles could tell his face was bright red.

“Um…”

“Yeah.”

“That was—”

“Mm-hm.”

Derek snapped his mouth shut, eyes flitting from Stiles’s face, to his lips, and then back up. And that was Stiles’s move, wasn’t it? “Was that bad?”

Stiles blinked. Once more, Stiles exe. logged off for a second and then he shook his head, staring. “No? No, definitely not. No.”

“I, uh, don’t hate you,” Derek said. A small, almost shocked laugh built up in Stiles’s throat.

“I could tell.”

Derek looked down at himself, his uniform, and then toward the door. When he looked back, his expression was almost hesitant, and Stiles was almost surprised he’d never seen a look like that before. “I have a game.”

“Yeah,” Stiles said, finally cracking a small smile. Because his heart had stopped thudding against his chest now and he just felt a little warm. A little tingly. Which, if this was all real, was actually quite pleasant. “Yeah, dude, I’m usually there too.”

Derek’s ears turned red. “Oh, yeah.”

Stiles looked at the boy, hesitated for a moment, and then leaned forward, pecking him on the cheek. Derek immediately went statue-still again and Stiles snorted despite himself, patting the boy on the shoulder as he slipped by. “That’s for good luck, Hale. I’ll see you out there?”

Derek was still wide-eyes and speechless when he turned around. Still grinning, Stiles offered him a wink and salute, before all but stumbling toward the door.

He could feel Derek staring after him. But the boy didn’t say another word.

Stiles had never seen himself the one to break Derek Hale.

Derek stayed after the brown-haired, amber-eyed boy in silence, his thoughts moving slowly. For a moment, he felt dazed. Then winded. Like he’d already played the game, won, and had maybe been declared MVP or something.

But then Stiles was gone, Derek was left in the silence, and he finally snapped out of his trance.

A trance, yeah. That’s what he could call it.

Because he had just kissed Stiles. He had just kissed Stiles Stilinski.

Derek blinked, then reached up, touching his lips. And fuck, Stiles had tasted like cinnamon and spices. And somehow, it had all been better than Derek might have ever always wondered.

He had just kissed Stiles.

“Oh,” Derek said, as the sound of the scoreboard buzzer went off outside the locker room again. Game— starting— right.

Oh.

Fucking Stiles Stilinski.

Oh gosh, so I've never actually written a Sterek High School fic, so I apologize if it's a bit rough around the edges. I couldn’t figure out to work the jumper part in, but I hope crop-tops were a okay substitute @wolfile! Thank you so much for the prompt <3

(if you enjoy my writing, consider sending a coffee? You can also request a prompt if you’d like!). https://ko-fi.com/rh27writer

#sterek #teen wolf #derek hale #stiles stilinski #teen wolf fanfic #sterek fanfic #sterek moodboard #teen wolf moodboard #teen!au #high school au #derek hale x stiles stilinski #first kiss #ficlet #wolfile #prompts #fluff #humor #petition to let stiles wear crop tops

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na-na-na-nanna · 4 years

Text

Last Man on Earth

Pairing: Seokjin x virgin!reader

Genre: post apocalyptic, smut, angst

Word count: 8900

Warnings: oral (m+f), fingering, unprotected sex, masturbation

Moodboard

Summary: The world has ended and the only two people left on the planet is you and Seokjin. Together you try to survive in this lonely new world while pondering upon the past and what could have been and the future and what will be

a/n: this is my first attempt at writing so please have mercy. English is also not my first language

The sky above you was dark, and it looked like the rain could start falling at any minute now. Even though you still had a long way home, and you would most likely get completely drenched, you still wished for the sky to open up since you were low on clean drinking water. You just hoped that Jin had remembered to put out the buckets to collect the water as you had asked him to. Before you could finish the thought, a single droplet hit your cheek. You wiped it away like you would a tear and continued walking through the empty city. If you hurried, you might make it home before it would start pouring.

Today, you had been lucky in your search for, “things that might come in handy” as you usually described it. You had discovered an old convenience store, which was full of all kinds of canned food, so you had filled your back to the brim with them. A decision that was weighing you down right now, you thought, as you could feel your back getting sore. Next time you would bring Jin with you, so you at least would be two to carry the loath, and he would tease you for being too weak to carry it all by yourself. He loved to tease you, and seeing your annoyed face was one of the things that gave him the most joy in this god forsaken world. Even though he often got on your nerves, you liked his mild teasing since it just felt kind of normal, like the interactions you used to have with your friends before everything changed, and you would desperately cling to the memory of your old life.

The heavy loath had made you slightly bent over, and made you look down at your feet as you walked as quickly as your legs allowed you to, and it was only the resounding sound of thunder that made you look up and notice exactly where you were. Without even realizing it, you had walked into your old neighborhood and was now standing in the rain outside of your old high school building. If it was not for a sign clearly stating which school it was, you might not even have registered that it was your old one. Subtle clues like these from the past reminded you of what your life used to look like. How many hours you had spent in this now desegregating building, and the irony of it made you laugh to yourself. Seeing the state of your old high school also, made you wonder how the university was holding up, and how you probably wouldn’t be able to recognize that at first glance either.

You continued down the street that, what seemed like a lifetime ago, had been your whole world when a splash of color caught the corner of your eye. Amidst the grey surroundings was what could only be described as the most perfect strawberries growing at the roadside. You thought that eyes might be playing tricks on you since you couldn’t believe what you were witnessing. There shouldn’t be strawberries this time of year and especially not in a place like this, but your eyes weren’t lying to you. You couldn’t remember the last time you had had a strawberry, so for a while you just stood still and admired the little wonders in front of you. The berries would be a nice surprise for Jin, you thought, as you remembered that he had once told you he had worked on a strawberry farm when he was younger. The image made you smile for a moment before you bent down to pick up the precious strawberries.

Jin had in fact done as you told him to, you concluded, as you looked up at the otherwise abandoned apartment complex you were currently staying in and saw a sea of different shaped and sized buckets on the balcony.

When you entered the apartment, that had become your and Jin’s shared home, you announced your presence, but to your surprise the space was empty. You knew that Jin wouldn’t have gone out without you knowing, so he was probably just in his room and hadn’t heard you because of the rain. You didn’t do anything else to make your arrival known since you now had the opportunity to make more out of your special surprise for him. You put down your backpack with the canned food in it and quickly got to work. You didn’t even bother to change out of your wet clothes. You began to wash the strawberries even though they probably didn’t really need it due to all the rain, but you did it anyways. When the berries were to your liking, you arranged them nicely on a plate you had laying around. You were beginning to get excited, and you couldn’t wait to see the look on Jin’s face when he would see what you had prepared for him. You took off your shoes, so you wouldn’t make too much noise when walking to his room. The door to the room was ajar, but you could only make out a small portion of your roommate’s silhouette through the small gap, but you could hear a heavy breathing coming from the room. You didn’t think any of it since Jin occasionally liked to work out in his room, so you proceeded to swing the door wide open, and as you entered you were met with a face full of terror. Jin was naked, and you had just interrupted him in a very intimate moment, to say the least. You couldn’t tell if it was because of your wet clothes, or the scene in front of you, but a shiver ran down your spine and caused a small tremble in your thighs.

“Fuck! I-I didn’t know you were back!” Jin almost yelled with panic in his voice as he frantically looked for something to cover himself with. You were so taken aback by what you had just walked in on that it took you a while to move mainly because you felt almost paralyzed with a new found heat rushing through your body. You eventually managed to snap out of it and stutter the words, “I-I’m s-sorry.” you then realized mid-sentence that your eyes were still fixated on his bare skin, so you quickly looked away, hoping he hadn’t noticed, “I should have knocked.”

“It’s fine. Could you just…?” his eyes went from you to the door hoping you would get the message, which you did, and now that you could move again you were fast to turn on your heel and leave the space, and a very frustrated Jin, behind. Once you were alone again, you could feel just how fast your heart was beating in your chest and, as you caught your reflection in a nearby mirror, you could also see how your cheeks had turned the same color as the strawberries you were still clinging on to.

You hated this. The way he broke eye contact, only answered you with one word, but mostly, the way he had been avoiding you. You and Jin had fought before, but you were always quick to talk things out since you both felt that there was no reason to stay mad at each other, but this time it was different. There was no talking about it, or even acknowledging what had happened, in fact it was like you had made a silent agreement to pretend that nothing had. You could easily have done that and carried on with your everyday life, but you found it difficult since Jin could barely even look at you. You understood that he was embarrassed, but you honestly didn’t see what the big deal was because to be frank, you would have been more surprised if he never did anything of the sort. You just kind of wished you could laugh about the whole thing and move on.

Jin and you would always be talking and joking around while Jin prepared a meal for you, but today there was only silence between you. He would always make an effort to do a little extra, so the canned food would taste more like a proper meal than, well, canned food, and currently he was putting all of his attention and focus into doing exactly that. You watched him silently from the dinner table where you were sitting as his broad shoulders moved back and forth while he worked. The smell from his cooking reached your nostrils which made your stomach betray you and growl.

“I’m almost finished.” Jin said in response to your growling.

Even though you had felt intense hunger just a few moments prior, you were now picking at your food while Jin on the contrary was going all in and stuffing his face, so even if he wanted to converse with you it would have been difficult to do so because of his full cheeks. As you and Jin sat opposite of each other without saying a word, you couldn’t help but feel alone, one thing you had hoped never to feel again ever since you had met Jin. You simply couldn’t take this anymore, so you finally broke the silence and spoke.

“I do it too, you know.”

“What?” The sudden sound coming from you had taken him a little by surprise.

“Masturbate,” Jin had not expected you to say that, and it almost caused him to choke on his food. “so it’s really no big deal,” you continued. “I also need to get release sometimes, it’s only natural, and it’s not like there is a lot of options when it comes to sexual partners.” Small pearls of sweat had formed on Jin’s exposed forehead as he clenched his jaw. He really didn’t like this conversation, and how it made him feel.

“So you have to take matters into your own hands, quite literally,” you nervously joked. “If you know what I mean”.

“Yeah, I guess I do.” he finally said.

“Good, and can you stop being so awkward around me now? It’s been driving me crazy.” you told him truthfully.

“Yeah, sorry about that. I was being childish. I promise to act more mature from now on.”

“Good luck with that,” you teased. “You might be older than me, but we both know I’m the mature one…, and the smart one…, and the best looking one.”

“Yah!” he protested. “Have you seen this face?” he made an exaggerated gesture at his face. “I’m diffidently the best looking one.”

“Okay fine, I’ll give you that one.” you smiled at his smug face as he was clearly satisfied with the title.

For the rest of the night the air between you was more relaxed, and Jin would only occasionally zone out and look all flustered when you confronted him about it. He therefore excused himself earlier than then usual to go to bed. When he was finally alone in his room again, he let out the breath he had been holding, a breath he had been holding ever since you had walked in on him. He of course had felt embarrassed, but he mostly felt guilty at how much he didn’t hate your eyes lingering on him as he came. This had made it hard for him to even look at you because every time you would look at him with your big doe eyes, he would be reminded of those thoughts and the guilt that followed them. And now this. He really didn’t need the image of you doing that in his head, but now that it had formed it simply wouldn’t escape his mind. After dinner he had managed to act relatively normal around you, but if he wasn’t careful his mind would wander off, and lewd images would appear for his inner eye. He for that reason decided it would probably be for the best if he called it a night, but there he was in the dark room all alone with his thoughts. He didn’t know why this new information about you surprised him so much, you were an adult after all, you had been for some time now. He probably just never saw you in that light, he thought. He was years older than you, and from the moment you had met he had always felt protective of you, the same way he would imagine an older brother would feel about his younger sister. But as he laid down on his back, he couldn’t help thinking of you in a very different way, and he also didn’t want to fight it. He knew he would only ever see you like that in his imagination, so he couldn’t bring himself to also deny himself that. He imagined what sounds you would make as you touched yourself, the number of fingers you would insert in your wet core and which parts of your body that would be the most sensitive. Just the thought of your body twitching in pleasure made his own cock twitch slightly. Jin also kept thinking about which movements that would send you over the edge as he felt his trousers tightening around his groin. How could just the thought of you have this much of an effect on him, he wondered? He quickly cast away the thought since he really didn’t want to think too much about the actual answer.

The sky had the color of a light blue, not a cloud to be spotted, and the sun was shining, and you enjoyed the warmth on your face. It had been so long since the weather had been this nice, you thought. You didn’t know if it was the weather, or whatnot, but Jin seemed to be in a good mood as well as he was humming a melody on your way through the city.

Fortunately, you had no problems finding back to the old convenience store, and everything was exactly as it had been when you left it, not that you had expected anything to have changed. Jin had found a shopping cart and was filling it to the brim with groceries as you went through the aisles of the store. He was visibly very excited like a child in a candy store, and you couldn’t help but smile at his small antics as his eyes would light up every time he spotted something new on the shelves. Every product that wasn’t expired, he would throw in the cart without even really looking at what it was.

“You know we have to carry all of that home, right? Might want to be a bit more selective.” you said in a teasing tone.

“I have to carry it home.” Jin corrected you.

“I’m stronger than I look.” you said in an offended tone of voice.

“Sure you are,” he said, not sounding very convinced. “Besides, we can just bring the cart with us, smart ass.”

“Fine, but you’re pushing it.”

“That’s what I’m here for.” he smiled and went back to picking out items. You knew that there was no getting through to him once he was in this state of mind, so you decided to leave him be and take a spin around the convenience store to see if you could find anything else of interest. There wasn’t much else in the store besides all the necessities which you found to be a little disappointing. Who knew the end of the world could be so uninteresting at times, you thought to yourself? Because of this fact, you always looked for things you could use to pass the time with. Unlucky at finding anything that could serve that purpose between the shelves, you walked over to look at the magazine holder near the cash register. You picked up one of those gossip magazines, and on the front page there were some paparazzi photos of two idols who had been involved in a dating scandal. You opened the magazine to read the story and sighed at the fact that people used to care so much about these sort of things, which you occasionally had been guilty of yourself, you had to admit but, but you had liked to read about other people’s lives. As you closed the magazine again, you wondered what had happened to the couple afterwards. If they had stayed together or split up, if they had retired or stayed active with their carries. It really didn’t matter, you thought, everything would change for them in the following months anyways. You tossed the idols aside and started to go through the bundle of magazines in hopes that you might find the one that you were looking for, which you eventually did. A neatly groomed Jin in a tailored suit, looked up at you from the cover of a business magazine. It was hard to imagine that the goofball roaming the aisles was the same bigshot businessman on the cover, but he was. Jin had apparently been the heir to his family’s company, and the article was about him being one of the youngest to ever be appointed vice-president of such a big company.

You had looked at this magazine in a similar way the first time you had met Jin. Like today, you had been looking through another convenience store, very similar to the one that you were currently in, when you had first picked up the magazine with the handsome man on the front. For some reason you had picked it up even though you had no interest in business, especially not businesses that didn’t even exist anymore, but there was something about him that had drawn you in, you remembered thinking. Maybe it was his kind eyes staring back at you that had made you feel less alone. At that point, you had been alone for months, and keeping yourself alive was no problem, but it was the loneliness that was the hardest part for you, and you had almost given up on ever seeing another human being again. That was until you looked up and saw him right there in front of you. You must be seeing double, you thought, since two sets of the same pair of eyes were looking at you at the same time. At first, you just believed that it was your mind playing games with you since you so desperately longed to get lost in those eyes. When Jin had finally spoken to get your attention, you almost had had a heart attack. Your eyes lying to you were one thing but your ears too. Could he really be real or, had you truly gone mad? However unlikely it seemed, the man you had dreamt of only moments prior was standing right before your eyes in the flesh. You didn’t really believe in any god, but right then and there you just thanked something for hearing your prayers, and you felt lucky that you had somehow managed to find the only other person on the planet.

“Y/n!” Jin’s voice immediately brought you back to the present. “Look what I’ve found.” he had his arms full of bottles, and it was only when he was beside you again that you could see the content of the bottles.

“What do you say? We ditch the food and just have a party instead.” he joked.

“As tempting as that sounds, I think we should at least bring some food back with us.”

“You’re no fun at all,” Jin said with a fake annoyance, “but I see your point. 50/50 it is then.” you laughed. “Sure, why not? I actually could really need a drink too.”

“Why do you have that?” Jin had noticed the magazine with himself on the cover in your hand. His smile faded a bit, and he seemed more serious now.

“I just thought it was nice.” you said as you couldn’t help but feel like a child who has been caught doing something they shouldn’t.

“Suit yourself,” he said a bit too coldly for your liking. “We should get going before it gets dark.”

To your great amusement, Jin struggled far more with the heavy shopping cart than he had anticipated. He had almost lost control over it completely when the bumpy road had begun to tilt ever so slightly downwards, and it was a miracle that he had not crashed. Despite the obvious challenges that the cart brought him, there was no way in hell he was ever going to admit it, and he kept saying things like, “It’s fine, I got it.” and “This is nothing for me. I’m like really strong.” You just shook your head at these kinds of remarks and mocked his stubbornness as he refused any help from you. When you finally arrived at your apartment building, the sun had just begun to set, and the sky was now painted golden.

“Want to grab that drink now and watch the sun go down?” Jin asked you a little out of breath and with a few sweat pearls dripping from his hairline. You smiled at him. “Sure, I would like that very much.”

While Jin was making a lot of noise as he removed all the pots and buckets to make space for you on the balcony, you fetched two lounge chairs for you to sit in.

“This should do it.” Jin said more to himself than anybody when he was done clearing the balcony, and the chairs had been lined up. The small balcony looked quite cozy, you thought as you took your seat.

“And now the icing on the cake.” Jin said as he appeared with a large bottle in one hand and two glasses in the other. He poured the liquor first into your glass and then his own.

“Cheers.” he saluted you with his drink.

“Cheers.” you said back as you clinked your glass with his. The strong alcohol burned in your throat, but you didn’t mind it too much.

“I could get used to this.” you exclaimed as you leant back in your seat content with the scenery.

“Mmm…” Jin just hummed in agreement. The two of you sat like that for a while without saying anything, sipping on your drinks while looking at the view in front of you. Maybe it was the alcohol or the relaxed setting, but you felt like asking Jin something that had been on your mind a lot lately.

“Do you miss it?” you asked him. “Sex, I mean.” It took Jin a while before he answered, as if he was thinking of what to say.

“There is a lot of things I miss, and I suppose sex is among those things.” he finally answered. In his old life he hadn’t really been dating a lot, much to his family’s disapproval, but he had enjoyed the occasional one nightstand.

“Why do you ask?”

“Just curious, I guess.” you looked down at the almost empty glass in your hand.

“Do you miss it?” Jin now asked you.

“You can’t miss something you never had” you said. There was a growing disbelief on Jin’s face as he took in the new information about you. “Is it really that big of a surprise to you that I wasn’t sleeping around at university?”

“No, not at all,” he reassured you. “I would just have imagined that boys would be all over you.”

“Trust me they weren’t, and even if they were, I probably wouldn’t have noticed.” You poured yourself another drink.

“And why is that?” Jin asked after emptying his own glass.

“Well,” you started, “I was just too busy with school and working towards my perfect future to ever indulge in such juvenile activities,” you scoffed at the irony. “A decision I have really come to regret.” You weren’t that much of a drinker either, so you could already feel the effect of alcohol in your system, which made you lightheaded. “God! I just wish I would have lived more like those you only live once type of people.”

“You don’t mean that,” Jin said in disapproval. “YOLO and all that crap.”

“I do, I bet those guys didn’t have any regrets.” you argued.

“Trust me. I’m sure those guys had plenty of regrets,” Jin reassured you, “but do you really regret it that much? Not dating and partying like others.”

“Mmm… tough question,” you said before continuing. “I think yes because now I won’t ever get the opportunity. Like I always felt a little behind my peers when it came to stuff like that, but at the time it didn’t really bother me too much because I always thought I would get the chance to experience them eventually,” you were getting quite tipsy now. “Besides, I would probably also have regretted sleeping with some rando just to get it over with.”

“I’ll drink to that.” Jin said, and you both did.

“But on a serious note,” Jin looked you in the eyes. “I think you made the right choice. Yeah, it might suck that you missed out on some things, but rather than pressuring yourself into doing something that you didn’t want to.”

“I hope you’re right.” you sent him a tender smile that made him feel a little tickle in his stomach. The sun was now completely gone, and all light had faded away. Jin therefore left you alone on the balcony while he got up to go get some candles to illuminate the space. Jin really was the perfect guy when wanted to be, you thought. He always took care of you, like he had tonight, and you were so grateful that he was the one you’d have to share the rest of the world with. You trusted him completely, and you honestly didn’t know what you would do without him. If you had met someone like him at university, you wondered if you might have experienced all the things that you never got to. The second Jin ignited the candles the whole balcony was lit up with a yellow glow.

“Why don’t we just do it?” you said excited at your sudden realization.

“You have to be more specific than that.” Jin said.

“Have sex, you dummy,” you said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “You’re a man, and I’m a woman. It all adds up.” you laughed.

“You’re drunk.” was Jin’s only response as he clearly didn’t take your proposal very seriously.

“I’m not.” That was clearly a lie, but he didn’t need to know that.

“I’m too old for you, anyways.” he said with an indifferent tone to his voice.

“You’re really not that old. Most of the girls in my class would date guys that were much older than you.”

“Still.” Why was he being so cold towards you? You knew it was a long shot, but you couldn’t help but feel a little hurt by his rejection.

“You’re right. You might be the last man on earth, but I’m not that desperate.” you fake laughed trying to save face.

Jin felt bad since he could clearly sense the fakeness in your laugh. He really had had to fight himself when turning you down like that. With every fiber in his body he wanted to accept you, but he knew it would be wrong, and he wanted it to be right. You were drunk, and your head was filled with what if’s, and he didn’t want you to ever regret giving yourself to him in that way. In fact, it was the last thing he wanted. He cherished you so deeply, and he sincerely wanted you to lose your virginity to someone who you truly loved, and not to someone who was just there when you were drunk and desperate. Knowing all of that, there was still a small part of him that wanted to act selfish and give in to his longing, but he knew he would be taken advantage of you if he did.

But he was also acting selfish by rejecting you since he felt that he wouldn’t be able to take it if he would have to give you up after only being with you once. He knew it would be almost impossible for him to stop once he had started.

“What about you?” you then asked trying to change the subject, and pull focus away from the exchange you had just had. “What do you regret?” Jin gladly took the bait, so he answered your question with the first thing that came to mind.

“That magazine cover.” Jin’s words surprised you.

“Why?” you asked. “I thought you would be proud of that.”

“To be honest I didn’t really want to do it in the first place, but when my dad made up his mind about something there was usually no point in arguing with him about it.”

“Why didn’t you want to do the cover? I mean, you were, like, really impressive.” you felt a little shy after complimenting him like that.

“I might have been good at doing business, but my heart was never really in it,” he took a large sip of his drink before continuing. “And once I did the cover I knew there was no going back.” You were not completely sure of how to respond to what Jin had just told you. You always thought that he had been happy with his career choices since he had never mentioned anything to make you think otherwise.

“So, if you didn’t have to take over the family business what would you have been doing?” you finally asked him to lighten the mood a bit.

“I’m not telling you.” he said with a smile on his lips.

“Why not? I thought we were sharing all of our inner thoughts and desires, just now.” you tried your best to sound offended.

“You’ll just make fun of me.”

“Me? Make fun of you? Never.” you joked.

“You see my point?” He said annoyed.

“Just tell me already. It’s not like I have someone I can talk to about you behind your back.”

“Okay fine,” he finally gave in, “when I was younger, I wanted to be a singer, and if I didn’t have to take over the business, I probably would have gone for it.”

“Now, why would I make fun of that? Your voice is beautiful.” you told him sincerely.

“And how would you know?” he asked.

“I know because you sing all the time when you think I’m not listening.”

“I didn’t think you noticed that.” he said, feeling a little embarrassed.

“I always notice you.” Jin couldn’t help but smile at your sweet words as it made him blush ever so slightly.

“Let’s dance.” you suggested as you suddenly felt the need to move.

“What?” Jin exclaimed.

“You heard me. Now get up.” Jin had no choice but to follow your order as you almost fell over on your way up, and he had to run to you to catch you.

“We don’t have any music to dance to.” he said, still holding you in his arms.

“Why don’t you sing?” you suggested once you had found your balance again. “Please” you looked up at Jin with pleading eyes, and he didn’t have the strength in him to turn down your request. With a low voice he started singing a song you didn’t know. You moved in closer and put your arms around his neck and placed your head on his firm chest. It didn’t take long for Jin’s hands to find their way to your waist as you began to slowly sway from side to side to his song. You could hear Jin’s heart beat fast in his chest. Your warm body felt so nice pressed against his own, and he couldn’t stop himself from thinking about how easy it would be for him to lean down and interlock his lips with yours. You were so lost in the moment that you almost didn’t notice it when Jin’s calming notes stopped, and left you standing in total silence. You felt so safe in Jin’s embrace that you couldn’t bring yourself to break free from it, not yet at least. You stood like that for a while until you lifted your head from his chest to look him in the eyes. He looked so good in the glow of the candlelight. His eyes sparkling, and his perfectly plumped lips only inches away from you. He was slowly moving closer to you, and you could feel your mouth beginning to water as the space between you became smaller and smaller by the seconds, but as you felt his warm breath hit your skin something in your stomach suddenly turned. You quickly pulled away from Jin, and turned on your heel to look for a bucket. Thank god you managed to find one before it was too late, and once you did you bent down and threw up like you never had before.

“You okay?” you heard Jin’s concerned voice behind you.

“I-I’m fine.” you managed to stutter. You now remembered why you didn’t like to drink as it was painfully obvious just how much of a light drinker you were.

It was raining again, and the noises it was causing echoed in your dark room. Normally you would find the rain coming down calming, but it was drowning out everything else, which left you unable to carry on with your dreamless sleep. You laid in your bed and listened to it rhythmically hit the window for a while. It couldn’t be more than 6 o’clock, you thought since the sun had not fully come up yet. Your head was pounding, which really made you wish that you could go back to sleep, but you knew the possibility of that was very slim. As your eyes gradually got more and more used to the dark that surrounded you, snapshots of last night flashed before you. The whole night was somewhat of a blur to you, which you honestly didn’t have too much of a problem with. You actually kind of preferred to forget some of the things you had done merely hours earlier. Along with your pounding head, your throat was as dry as sandpaper, and you therefore decided to leave the comfort of your bed and go on a mission to put out your thirst.

Barefooted you tiptoed through the apartment in order to avoid waking up Jin, but as you passed his room you could hear a low snoring coming from the other side of the door. A small smile formed on your face as your thought that not even an earthquake would be able wake him up. You envied his ability to sleep soundly.

The cold water hitting your dry throat had the wanted effect, and when you put down the cup you were a bit out of breath from drinking too eagerly. Your initial plan was to crawl back into bed once you had succeeded with the mission, but as you turned to go back to your room, a big growl made you notice your hunger. You went to the kitchen to make yourself some breakfast. You weren’t much of a cook, and if you could get away with it, you would have Jin cook all your meals. You therefore went with the simpler option when choosing what you wanted for breakfast as you picked out a few apples and a couple of other fruits. You started to cut them mindlessly after you had rinsed them in water. As you prepared your food your mind wandered off as the events from last night became less and less blurry to you. The conversations you had had with Jin became more detailed in your memory, and much to your disappointment his rejection to your proposal was a stand out. You could feel the hurt you had felt slowly returning.

“Shit!” The knife had slipped, and it was now your finger that were exposed to pain. The cut wasn’t that deep, but it was enough to make blood drip down your wrist. You looked around the kitchen for anything you could use to stop the bleeding, but without any luck.

“Oh my god y/n! Are you okay?” You hadn’t heard Jin entering, so he startled you.

“Jesus, you scared me!” you said with a shaking voice.

“I’m sorry,” he walked up to you. “Let me look at that.” he said and referred to your injured finger.

“I’m fine. I don’t need you babying me.” you said with some irritation.

“I’m not,” he told you calmly. “I just know how you get whenever you see blood.” Why did he have to know you so well? You always got dizzy when you saw blood, so it was hard to argue against his logic. You sat on the kitchen counter as Jin went to go get a first aid kit. When he returned shortly after, you reluctantly accepted his care as he took your hand into his to further examine the damage. This was the first time you and him had made physical contact since you had danced, you thought. To be fair, it was not even that long ago, but as his hand brushed over yours it felt like it had been forever since you touched. In that moment, you realized that you had been longing to be close to him again from the second you let go of him.

“You should be more careful.” he said as he began to clean the wound.

“Don’t scold me. I’m not a child.” you clapped back.

“I never said you were.” he was still focusing on attending to your injury.

“But you’re treating me like one.” It had become so clear that Jin would never view you as a grown woman, a fact you wished you could change.

“I’m not,” he lifted his head and looked you in the eyes. “I just care about you and don’t want you to get hurt.” he said before returning to your finger. For the remainder of the procedure not a lot of words were exchanged between you, and it was only when Jin had put a band aid on you he spoke.

“I would kiss it better, but I wouldn’t want to offend you,” he teased you. “Besides, it would probably just make you sick again,” he nervously laughed. You had hoped that Jin would have forgotten, or at least pretended to forget, how you had stormed off to go throw up. You didn’t say anything, you just looked at him with a frown on your face.

“Tough crowd.” he said when you didn’t respond to his joke.

“It wasn’t funny.” you said harshly.

“Someone woke up on the wrong side of bed”

“I didn’t.” you said.

“Whatever you say, grumpy.” he said, not convinced by you.

“I’m not grumpy,” you were getting irritated. “I’m just… hurt.” Jin looked at you with empathetic eyes.

“Of course, it was a pretty nasty cut.” he had misunderstood what you were trying to say.

“I’m not talking about my finger, Jin.” you said in a more serious tone. A mixture of confusion and concern spread on Jin’s face.

“What do you mean?” he cautiously asked you.

“God! You are so stupid sometimes!” you exclaimed in frustration. “It hurt that you didn’t want me.” Jin looked even more confused now.

“But you didn’t mean it. You were drunk.” he tried to rationalize.

“You know people are the most honest when they’re drunk.”

“Yeah, but surely you didn’t…” You interrupted him before he could finish the sentence.

“I did,” you looked down. “In fact, I still do.”

“But I’m not what you want.” Jin said, baffled. He was so taken aback by your words that he didn’t know what to believe any more. Everything in him screamed that this was not really happening, and that he had just misunderstood what you said.

“And how do you know what I want?” you said angrily.

“I’m sorry. You’re right,” he said apologetically. “I just don’t want you to regret anything.”

“I won’t. Not with you.” you reassured him.

“We might meet other survivors in the future.” He didn’t know why he was arguing with you the way he was since this was what he wanted.

“Even if we do, I still would want you.” Jin just looked at you, unsure of what to do next. He wanted to make the first move, but there was still something in him that was holding him back.

“Jin, please kiss me.” you finally pleaded. This was the push that Jin needed, and he leant in to finally accept you. He placed his hand on your cheek as he pulled you into his space and slowly started kissing you, pecking your lips gently. His fresh morning breath tasted so good, you thought, but before you could deepen the kiss he parted your lips for a moment and looked you in the eyes to make sure that this was in fact what you wanted. You sent him a smile and a slight head nod, which told him that it was okay for him to continue what he had started. You connected your lips once again, but this time it was more passionate. Jin’s other hand had traveled to your bare thigh, and his fingers were digging into your skin. The kiss was getting sloppier and sloppier as your tongues entangled themselves, and you wrapped your legs around his slim waist to pull him even closer to you. He started to kiss your jaw and then traveled to your neck where began to place wet kisses all over it. The tingling sensation of his affection sent a shiver down your spine, and you let out a soft moan. Jin had not expected your moan to sound so perfect, and it drove him absolutely insane. He couldn’t wait to explore your body more and make you moan his name.

“You’re so perfect.” he praised you. His words sent a shockwave of arousal through your already worked up body, and your core clenched around nothing. You were only wearing an oversized t-shirt, which barely covered your ass, so it didn’t take long for Jin to find his way down between your legs, and when his finger brushed over your clothed clit, you almost lost it at the feeling. You hadn’t really done much yet, but you were already feeling so needy. This Jin quickly noticed, so he started to rub your bundle of nerves, which caused you to whine even more.

“Tell me what you want.” he said, still caressing your sweet spot.

“I-I want you…,” It was hard for you to form the words due to Jin’s actions, “to make me cum.” A mischievous smile grew on the handsome boy’s face.

“What my baby wants, my baby gets.” he said before hooking his finger to the waistline of your panties, and yanking them down your legs, exposing you to him. He spread your legs wide open, so he could get the best view to your throbbing pussy. He kneeled down and worked his way up your inner thighs. He stopped and looked up at you just as he reached the much desired destination.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this.” he said with a tender voice.

“Me too.” you smiled at him as you ran your fingers through his dark hair.

He slowly began to kiss your wet folds, taking in all of your juices. You tasted so sweet, and he could eat you out like this all day if he got the change to, he thought. When he directed his focus on your clit and started to play with it with his warm tongue, you trembled, and he had to grab your thighs and keep them in place in order to keep from shutting close. You were becoming a panting mess, and it didn’t help that his index finger was roaming around your entrance, teasing you.

“God Jin!” you cried out as he inserted the first finger into you. It didn’t take him long to map out your inside and find the spot that made your back bend, and when he was sure you could take it, he added an extra finger. The stretch of his fingers throbbing in and out of your core felt like nothing you had experienced before. It was much better than anything you had ever made yourself feel, his long fingers reaching new dimensions in your pussy. The tension in the pit of your stomach was building up, and your grip on Jin’s hair got tighter and tighter.

“Please Jin,” you said breathlessly. “I’m close.”

“You’re doing so good, baby. Can you cum for me?” You didn’t get to answer as one last flick of Jin’s tongue sent you over the edge, and you came undone on his face and fingers.

Jin came up from between your legs and found your lips once again as he kissed you through your high, still fingering you. You clung to him as you rode out your orgasm.

Once you had come down, you and Jin locked eyes and started giggling at each other. It was hard to believe that this was actually happening, and that Jin had just given you the largest orgasm of your life, but it didn’t feel wrong in any way. In fact, it felt weirdly right.

“Want to take this to the bedroom?” Jin asked with hunger in his voice. You nodded eagerly.

“I would like that very much.”

Jin lifted you off of the counter and held you tight in his grip as he carried you to his room. Once you entered the space Jin threw you on your back on his bed, and before descending on top of you he pulled his shirt over his head, revealing his muscular upper body. You had seen him shirtless before, but you had never allowed yourself to really admire how well-made he was.

“Take a picture. It’ll last longer.” he joked as he had caught you staring at him. A little embarrassed you said, “Just shut up, and kiss me, already.” He did as you commanded and kissed you deeply. He was laying on top of you, hands all over your body. You wanted him to feel your bare skin, so

you removed your own shirt, resulting in you now being completely naked. Unlike you, Jin had never seen you topless, let alone fully naked like this, so he was visually taken aback by your exposed body. You looked at him with a knowing look on your face, as if to point out his hypocrisy, but he didn’t care.

“God, you’re beautiful.” he said. You suddenly felt a bit shy under his intense glare, but that feeling quickly disappeared as he began to massage your breasts with great force. It was only when you adjusted yourself slightly under him that you felt him on your thigh and noticed how painfully hard he was.

“Get on your back.” you told him. Jin was not sure of what it was that you were planning, but he nonetheless followed your command without hesitation. When he was in position, you began to unzip his pants, but before you could get any further he grabbed your hands.

“You don’t have to.” he said as he had figured out what you wanted to do for him.

“I want to,” you said truthfully. “I want to make you feel good and show you how much I want you.” He couldn’t argue with that, and he didn’t want to either. He would also be lying if he said he hadn’t fantasized about your pretty mouth wrapped around his cock on numerous occasions. He put his hands around his head and gave you the freedom to do whatever you wanted. After you had dealt with the zipper, you pulled off his pants, leaving him in his boxers. If his arousal wasn’t clear before, it was obvious now that his boxers did a very poor job at concealing it. You felt his bulge through the fabric, and you couldn’t wait to see what was under there. As you freed his cock from the boxers, it sprung up to hit his toned tummy. You had expected Jin to be packing, but you had never imagined that he would be this well-equipped, and just the sight of his erect member twitching in anticipation had you dripping. You took him in your hand and gave him a few pumps, which made him let out soft groans as drops of pre-cum were already dripping down the side of his shaft. You gently started to place kisses on his tip before you took him in and began to bob your head. You were a little nervous if you were doing everything the right way since this was your first time attempting anything like this, but Jin put his hand on your head to help guide you. You quickly found a good rhythm, and Jin’s loud moans gave you the confidence to keep going.

“You’re so good at that, baby.” he said breathlessly between growls. His praises turned you on as you continued to eagerly suck him dry. Taking him in deep and letting him hit the back of your throat, causing saliva to run down your chin. He closed his eyes in pleasure and threw his head back into the pillow. It had been so long since he had been pleasured by anything else than his own cold hand, so to have you perform like that on him was almost too much.

“As tempting as it is, I don’t want to cum yet, baby,” he said. “Do you think you’re ready to take me?” You said that you were, and you switched positions again. Jin moved his cock up and down your slit to gather your wetness and roamed around your entrance.

“Ready?” he asked you.

“Ready” You said back. He then proceeded to push himself into you, taking a few moments to fully adjust.

“Tell me if I’m hurting you, okay.” You nodded in understanding, and he began to move slowly in and out of you. You did feel some pain in the beginning as you were getting used to him, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as you had thought it would be, and the good would soon outweigh the bad. Jin was gentle, and he would carefully watch you to make sure you were comfortable and not hurting. He was moving at a steady peace, not too fast. You thought he had stretched you out before with his fingers, but it was nothing compared to his large cock that was currently penetrating you row, and you loved the feeling of him filling you up so completely. You were beginning to feel so desperate for more that you unconsciously moved your hips fast against his. Your hunger for more surprised Jin, who had not expected you to take him so well your first time, but he nonetheless granted your silent request as he picked up the pace, and let his thrusts become more aggressive. He was hitting all the right places, and every time he did you let out resounding moans, the next one louder than the previous. Jin then lifted your legs and placed them on his shoulder, so that he could get at an angle that would allow him to reach even deeper. You looked so pretty all fucked out underneath him, he thought, and the sight of his length appearing and disappearing from your tight pussy had him euphoric.

“You’re doing so fucking good, baby,” he said out of breath. “Taking me so damn well.” His praises had you clenching tightly around him, which made him groan almost beastly. He started to kiss your lips sloppily again before moving to your neck and then your sensitive nipples.

“Jin, please!” you wined his name as you were getting closer to your second orgasm this morning, and Jin knew it. He pressed his thumb to your clit, which just intensified everything that you were already feeling. Within seconds your orgasm washed over you like a tsunami, and Jin had to hold you in place. He kept pounding in and out of you, now chasing his own high, which he reached shortly after as you felt his warm cum fill you up. He fell down next to you, and for a while you laid breathlessly beside each other without talking as you came to your senses. You then turned on your side, and gave him a tender kiss on his pink lips. You both sent each other a smile which were followed by soft giggles.

“How’s your finger?” he asked. You had momentarily forgotten all about your injured finger.

“It’s really bad.” you lied. Jin took your hand in his and lifted it to his lips and kissed your hurt finger over the band aid.

“And now?” He asked.

“I’m not sure.” you said in a mischievous voice. Jin scoffed at you, but he nonetheless kissed your finger again. When you didn’t look satisfied, he started to press kisses up your arm until he reached your neck.

“How about I make you some breakfast, then?” you nodded, and he kissed your shoulder before getting up. On that rainy morning you were so grateful that Jin had been your first, and that he would also be your last.

a/n: thank you so much for reading. I hope it was somewhat enjoyable. Feedback would be highly appreciated.

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buckysbabygorl · 4 years

Text

Notice (Part 2)

Summary: After fighting for so long, Rogers and Y/N spent the night together. Will anything come of it?

warnings: swearing

pairings: Steve Rogers x reader

word count: 2,324

Part 1

The sun was rising, peeking through the curtains of Y/N’s room. Beams of light hit Y/N’s eyeline, stirring her and waking her sooner than she had liked.

Shoving her face back into her pillow, she internally groaned. The soreness of yesterday was finally setting in to its full extent, aches running throughout her body as her limbs stiffened. She became aware of the injury on her side, noticing that it stung more than usual. She started to stretch slightly when she realized the position she was in.

Looking up from her pillow, she found herself comfortably settled against Roger’s frame. Her arm rested across his chest, hand placed just beneath his jaw cradling it slightly. A strong arm wrapped firmly around her torso, hand resting on her hip while the other held her arm in place on his chest.

They were so close, so at ease, one might think that they were familiar with this position...

Out of shock Y/N turned over too quickly, accidentally catching Steve’s neck with her nails as she did.

“Ow.” he groaned, waking him as his hand shot to the newly made mark.

“Oh, shit I’m sorry.”

Groggily, Steve rolled out his neck and tensed his jaw as he did so. Y/N watched in a silent awe as she took note of a subtle vein in his neck.

“S’alright,” he mumbled, still a bit hazy from sleep. “ ‘s it bad?”

Steve’s Brooklyn accent was especially thick when he was tired. Lazily slurring words together with a touch of hardness. Y/N hadn’t caught that before today.

Y/N shifted to rest on her elbows and reached out to place a hand underneath Steve’s chin. As she examined the scratch, Steve felt his hands tense beneath the covers.

If he had been anyone else, if she had been anyone else, they could flip this situation upside down. Her capturing his lips with hers, his hands shifting to pull her hips against his own.

But it was Y/N. His teammate, his friend. Would it be smart to take hold of a fleeting moment like that?

Not that Steve was actually considering it of course, it was just a thought.

“I think you’ll live.” She joked. Y/N released his jaw and moved away, nuzzling back into her pillow.

Steve yawned, “How’d you sleep?”

Y/N sighed peacefully. “Good, hard. Better than I have in awhile.”

Steve felt a twitch of a grin, content she had some actual rest for once.

“You?” she asked.

“Fine, someone’s a bit of a blanket hog but…I managed.”

She punched his shoulder lightly. “Hey! You’re no peach either. Practically mauled me in my sleep.”

“Actually you cuddled up with me, remember?” he countered. Y/N shook her head and rolled onto her back.

She surprised Steve with her lack of comeback, usually ready to hear some witty little remark. He considered teasing her for her loss of words but he said nothing of it.

“But seriously, you feelin’ better?” He asked.

Y/N looked into his eyes, a genuine concern delicately etching his face.

She nodded, “I am.”

Steve nodded, happy with her answer.

Both were silent, still getting used to the morning.

Steve closed his eyes, inhaling deeply as Y/N watched the rise and fall of his chest.

It was nice to see Steve like this; calm, quiet. He wasn’t the most talkative man, and when he spoke it was often with an edge or a reserve. He didn’t seem that way now, reserved. Just bare. Yes, it was nice seeing Steve this way. And no, she did not mean shirtless. Though she wasn’t complaining about that either.

In an attempt to rid herself of her thoughts, Y/N began to sit up. “Well, you in the mood for some coffee-”

Y/N cried out, feeling a sharp sting in her side. Immediately Steve shot up and ushered her to stop.

“Hey, hey, take it easy. I can do coffee detail, just rest a bit longer.”

Y/N winched as she nodded, lying down as slowly as she could.

Steve aided her, taking some weight into his arms to lower her. By accident, he had slipped his hand under her shirt and felt the small of her back. He became overly aware of how soft her bare skin was in his calloused hand.

Alright, breathe Rogers. You’ve fought in a war, you can handle some bare skin. He slid his hand out from beneath her.

He gave her a comforting squeeze on her hip. “Okay?” he asked.

As he gripped her side, her thoughts halted. Dazed, she dumbly replied “Okay.”

He smirked softly, “I’ll be back in a minute.” He gripped her hip in quick parting again and Y/N felt her heart skip a bit as she watched him leave.

Steve gently closed the door, and turned to rest his head against the wood as he thought.

He could still feel the softness of her skin in his hand...

“That’s something you don’t see every day.”

Steve smiled, recognizing Bucky’s voice and turning to face him.

“Morning Buck.”

Bucky stood with his hands in his pockets, leaning his shoulder against the corridor wall.

“And good morning to you too. Think yours is off to a better start than mine though.” Bucky said, gesturing to the door.

Steve glanced back at her room, wondering if she had already fallen back asleep...

“Not what it looks like.” He reassured him.

Bucky chuckled as he reached up to flick a spot beneath Steve’s chin, “Mark on your neck says otherwise.”

Steve swatted his hand away and rubbed the now-sore spot. “It was an accident.”

“They usually are, sometimes people get a little carried away,” Bucky teased. He laughed at Steve’s flustered reaction.

“Relax. I’m just bugging you, punk.” He firmly patted Steve’s shoulder. “I’m guessing you guys made up?”

Steve thought about their night, thinking of how different things had been from then to now. She seemed better this morning. They certainly seemed better this morning.

“For the most part I think, yeah.”

Bucky nodded, “Glad to hear it. Now when you’re both pissed off, you guys can just kiss and make up.”

Steve groaned, “Bucky, come on-”

“I know! I know,” Bucky called as he continued walking, “I believe you, besides, I know I’ll be the first one you’ll tell when it happens.”

Steve scowled, ��Nothing’s gonna happen.”

“I beg to differ!”

The team finally felt at ease again.

Y/N was back on the field and all tensions seemed to have resided.

Steve and Y/N were on good terms; they had small interactions throughout the day, quick hello’s and blips of conversation. Everything was back to normal. For the most part...

Something had changed in Steve. He’d always been happy to help out his team; it wasn’t the first time he had done something like this. He would go on runs late at night with Bucky when the nightmares were too much, sometimes he would stay up a little later with Tony than he had to to help him test out new weapons or armour.

The night with Y/N hadn’t been anything out of the ordinary. But it was.

He cradled her in his arms; he held her close while they slept; he undressed her.

It hadn’t felt like simply doing the most for his partner, it was more than that. It was intimate.

Steve was still concerned about Y/N’s well-being. Every now and then, he couldn’t help but peak at the entry logs of the gym or occasionally pass by her bedroom to see if she was asleep.

But he knew she was better, you could tell by watching her.

She carried herself with more energy now, she was happy. Healthy.

Steve smiled as he thought back to that night again. Her hand on his chest, sleeping peacefully.

He was glad he got there when he did.

“Steve.”

“Sorry, what?” He asked. He’d caught himself daydreaming again, completely oblivious to Nat’s question.

He sat with her, Sam and Y/N at the island. They were lucky enough to have a calm morning; no rushing for missions or briefing.

Y/N was working through a newspaper while Sam cooked. Sam apparently had “been feeling generous” and offered to honour everyone with a breakfast “fit for Kings”.

Sam may have been one of Steve’s best friends but my god was he a shit cook.

They ate out of pity, it was better to leave him with praise than dampen his mood or harm his ego. Sometimes you’ve gotta take one for the team.

Nat rolled her eyes at Steve’s lack of attention, “I said, have you been seeing anyone lately?”

Steve was taken aback by the question, clearly missing important discussion as to how this came up.

“How did this come up?”

“Just answer the question.”

He shook his head. “Not since Sharon, no.”

“What?!” Sam said as he flailed his pan. “I thought you two had really hit it off, what happened there?”

Steve shrugged, “Just couldn’t make it work. Lost the spark, I guess.”

Steve hadn’t been overly hurt by it, they’d both agreed there was attraction but no passion.

“So you’re single? Great!” Nat cheered, “I can set you up with Jane in analytics, then.”

Steve looked at her pointedly, “No thanks.”

“Oh come on, she’s a nice girl! She’s so sweet, a little shy… but you guys might be a good match.”

Steve shook his head as he sipped his coffee, “I think you’ve set me up one too many times Nat. I’ll find someone on my own.”

Sam whistled, “Damn right you can find your own girl, Rogers. You’re a playa’.”

Y/N and Nat laughed. Steve? A player? Ha.

Sam excitedly sat down next to Steve, “You know what you need? You need a girl with some fire, some heat. Like spicy caliente heat.”

Y/N laughed at that, looking up from her crossword puzzle, “ ’Caliente’? You’ve been watching too much porn, Wilson.”

Sam shook his spatula at her, “You shush. Porn aside, I have instincts. You don’t know what the man needs!”

She shook her head as she turned back to her paper.

“And you do?” Nat retorted.

“Of course I do! Dumb question.”

Nat turned back to Steve, “That what you need Steve? A girl with some fire?”

Steve took another glance at Y/N, fixated on her paper.

He watched as she silently mumbled the word she was searching for, glasses perched high on her nose and a loose strand of hair falling in front of her face. She moved to tuck it behind her ear and he was reminded of the small patch of freckles on her cheek.

“Yeah,” Steve said, “something like that.”

“See!” Sam exclaimed, “I know what men want.”

“Well,” Y/N started, “if you could let me in on the secret, I’d be more than thankful. It’d be nice to get enough of a guy’s attention for a damn date.”

She fiddled with her pen as she had finally found the word been looking for. Astonishment.

Nat scoffed, “Oh come on Y/N, it hasn’t been that long. You can’t be that desperate.”

Y/N whacked Nat’s shoulder with her pen.

“Easy for you to say when you’re all cuddled up with Bruce,” She teased, “I however, haven’t been on a date in years.”

Sam nearly dropped his pan, “Years?”

Y/N nodded, “You heard me, years.”

Sam laughed, “Be serious Y/N, a girl like you? No dates?”

She shook her head, “Nope, sorry to disappoint.”

Steve was puzzled. Could she be serious? Has no one asked her out in that long period of time?

“Haven’t you ever heard of Tinder? Or a bar for God’s sake?”

Y/N rolled her eyes, “I’m not talking about sex, Sam. It’d be nice to be actually taken out for once. Like a movie or dinner. Especially being stuck with the likes of you, for so long.”

Sam ignored her teasing and went back to cooking. Steve was shocked, no dates… for years?

Steve watched as she pushed up her falling glasses, gently biting on the end of her pen before finding a new word. Opportunity.

“Well, I could do that.”

Steve was met with silence.

The group turned in sync; stunned that the star-spangled man, of all people, had invited Y/N out for a night on the town.

Though Nat had suspected something was evolving, what with Steve acting particularly interested in Y/N more so than usual.

No longer just running ideas past her and asking her whereabouts before team meetings had started, things had shifted into a day-to-day inquiry.

Has Y/N gotten up yet?

Did she go on her run with Wanda already?

And at dinner the other night, the most curious of things: Save some for Y/N, it’s her favorite. But no sauce.

Nat knew better than to tease or pry, the man being much too reserved for that kind of banter. Instead she calmly watched as the two interacted.

She looked to Sam before he interjected, silently warning him to stay quiet.

“Yeah?” Y/N laughed.

Steve shuffled in his seat, surprising himself with his statement.

“Sure. I mean, you’ve been cooped up here for weeks. You probably could use a night out. And I don’t mind… helping out with that.”

Y/N was surprised. She hadn’t really been expecting to follow through with the idea, let alone be offered by Steve to do so.

A small smile tugged at the corner of her lip, she turned back to Nat seeing she was as patiently waiting for a response as Steve.

Y/N mulled over the thought. A night out of the compound would be nice. See the city, grab some dinner, maybe do some dancing…

Why not?

“Okay.”

Part 3

Taglist for Notice: @thewolfgirluniverse @farfromjustordinary

Permanent Taglist: @babyblue-07 @babybluereads @pinkdiamond1016 @fandomsfallnomore @elliee1497 @lonewolf471

#steve rogers smut #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers fluff #chris evans #chris evans character #buckysbabygorl masterlist

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rainydayhogwartsimagines · 4 years

Note

Hiya! I’m sorry I couldn’t find a post for how your requests work but I hope this works!

Could you please write a Draco x Reader one shot inspired by one of these quotes? Pick whichever you feel inspired from!

- what am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you?

- She Acts like summer and walks like rain

- If you are by my side and we stumbled through the dark I know we’d be alright

Thank you so much ❤️❤️

this is such a cool concept I’ve always wanted to try!

Draco was having many sleepless nights with one thing on the brain. You. You drove the boy absolutely mad without even knowing. Draco’s attention seemed to be just fixated on you. He’d steal glances, watching you work from his desk in the back of the class, he’d notice you in the library, reading with Hermione, he’d see you study late into the nights, walking around with a book in hand and your wand pulling your hair back as you walked. The boy was absolutely head over heels. You were his point of focus without realizing it, only occasionally catching his glances in potions. Potions was his favorite class due to the fact that you were his partner. He would take that time to get to know you, get to know your humor, your way of things and best of all; your personality. You weren’t particularly talkative but occasionally, you’d say something that would make Draco smile. He didn’t even realize that sometimes you’d say off the wall shit to see that smile. Today though was a particularly odd day. See, your class was making Amortentia. You seemed slightly anxious over the whole thing. Your Amortentia would smell like Draco, you already knew this. Draco didn’t exactly see the issue. Would it be slightly embarrassing? Sure. But at least he wouldn’t have to hide it any longer. “Miss Y/n. What does the potion smell like to you?” Snape asked. You swallowed. “Earl Gray tea... Expensive cologne and... mint.” You muttered. Draco stopped writing what was on the board and looked over surprised. “And Mister Malfoy?” He asked. “...Rain, peach and roses.” He said looking at you. You felt a blush rise to your cheeks and Snape rose his brow but lurked past you.

You couldn’t focus that entire class, your notes having HORRIBLE handwriting. You basically bolted out of there the second Snape let you all go. Draco, however knew where you usually ran to and you found him sitting at the back table in the library, book in hand and eating an apple. You nearly turned around but a chair scraped across the floor and Draco put down his book, looking to the chair in front of him almost as to say “sit.”. You let out a sigh, sitting in front of him. “So, the Amortentia potion.” He said. You looked away and you sighed. “I really don’t want to address it.” You admitted. “Why?” He asked. You ran your fingers through your hair. “Draco how many girls this year have you slept with?” You asked point blank. “Why are you--” “Please answer it.” You said. Even in being rude you were still polite... Christ. “About four.” he admitted. “That’s why.” you said leaning back. “Because I’ve slept with four girls?” he asked. “It’s the beginning of the year Draco.. We are literally two weeks in, you want me to believe you actually care about me in a romantic capacity?” You asked. “Do you want to know why I do it?” he asked. “Fine, Draco, I’ll bite. Why?” You asked. “I can’t get you out of my head. Ever since our second year you have ALWAYS been stuck in my God damn head. So I started finding ways to get you out of my head... Dating, sleeping with girls, the occasional party here and there.” He said. You shook your head. “I don’t know what girls this has worked on, but I don’t believe you.” You said point blank. Draco nodded and clicked his tongue. “I will find ways to prove to you that I care for you Y/n. I do like you... And I want you to know that.” He said sincerely, your heart pounding. You sighed and stood up. “Where are you going?” He asked. “I have to get to my next class.” You said walking. Draco got up, walking behind you and lifting your books from you. “What the hell are you--” “Walking you to class. Keep up love, this is going to be happening a lot more.” Draco said.

He wasn’t joking. Every class, even ones you didn’t have with him would end with your books being carried by him. He would sit with you at the table in the Great Hall, meeting your friends as if he was your boyfriend, he’d sit with you when you would study, any time you shivered his cardigan would be immediately wrapped around you, every time you would look up from studying Draco would be looking at you. You liked him, yes. And maybe a part of you believed him. But honestly you were terrified of what could happen if you actually did let him near you in that capacity. There were these moments that you would share with him where he swore for a moment you were going to finally say something. Sometimes he’d fall asleep in the library while you studied. He may have caught you running your fingers through his hair while he slept a couple of times. You seemed to ignore him for the most part though, only occasionally acknowledging that he was actually trying. Was this frustrating? God yes. But Draco understood why the barrier was there. You didn’t want to get hurt. It slightly hurt him to know there was this distrust present in you for him. But he understood why it was there. You sat on a ledge from a window, talking to Fred and George. “So you’re dating him?” George asked. “No.” You said with a sigh. “I can’t believe I’m actually asking this, but why not?” Fred asked. You shook your head. “What happens once I do? What happens when Draco dates me, sees me for me and then decides he doesn’t want me?” You asked. George opened his mouth “That won’t happen.” Draco’s voice said. You all noticed him, leaning off of a doorway. “Y/n. I will literally start quoting my diary if it means you’ll trust me. I’ve followed you around for three months. I will do it for more if it means you’ll trust me.” He said. You sighed and then stood up, walking past the twins. “Fine. Meet me in the astronomy tower, be prepared to have an all nighter.” you said. He nodded “Are blankets a good idea?” He asked. “And food.” you nodded. “Okay.” Draco nodded.

So there you two sat. “Why am I here?” Draco asked. “You’re here because you’re going to see the vulnerable sides to me and I will see yours. Show me that I can trust you.” You said. He nodded with a long sigh. “Tell me something you’ve never said to anyone.” You said. He pondered. “I’m surprisingly open with other students but.. I don’t actually hate Harry.” Draco said. You rose a brow. “You have an interesting way of showing that.” You said sarcastically. “I am serious. I don’t hate him I just hate how he gets attention for simple actions.” Draco admitted. You nodded. “I could see how that would get on your nerves.” You admitted. “What about you?” Draco asked. “Hmm?” You asked. “The point of this was for me to see you vulnerable too.” He said. You swallowed and nodded. You pondered how deep you wanted to go with this. “...I hate myself.” You admitted. “I just have these moments where I do things and it’s like I’m looking at myself in third person. And I just look at me and I hate what I see.” You admitted. He frowned in response. Shit. Too far already-- “Y/n, you’re amazing. If I could get you to see how I look at you, I’d show you.” He said. You let out a small chuckle. “And how do you see me?” You asked. He moved closer, picking up your hands. “If we ever got into any insane situation and if you are by my side and we stumbled through the dark I know we’d be alright.” he said to you. Your heart pounded and you slowly pulled your hands back. “How do you have more confidence in me than I do in myself?” You asked. “Do you want an honest answer?” Draco asked. “Please.” you nodded. “I think you are someone who has been through a lot. I think you carry a lot of weight and you choose not to talk about it. You want to rely on someone but you’re honest to god so afraid that if someone hears those inner thoughts of yours they’ll think you’re insane. So you keep your burdens to yourself and it melds into self hatred.” He said. You blinked a few times. “....That’s scarily accurate.” You admitted. “I’ve told you that I’ve liked you for four years Y/n.” Draco said. “....Okay then. What’s something about yourself that you might not like or fully accept?” You asked. He pondered. “My incessant need to point out blood status. I sometimes don’t even know why I do it. I just do it. And I honestly hate that I do.” Draco admitted. “Is it like some habit for you?” You asked. “In a way. My father is the one who instilled it in me that blood status matters. I think that comes from the fact that our bloodline is strictly wizards. If I were to marry a muggleborn or a halfblood I’d risk the possibility of producing an heir with no magic.” He said. “Would you love that child any less?” You asked. “No. I’d love my child regardless.” He answered immediately. “Do you want children?” He asked. You let out a long sigh. “I can’t have children.” You said. “How are you sure, if you don’t mind me asking.” Draco asked. “I had something uhm... Go wrong in that area. And if I were to successfully get pregnant its most likely childbirth would kill me.” You admitted. Draco nodded. “But there’s always other means to have a child.” He said. “I’ve always liked the idea of adoption.” You admitted. “Really?” Draco asked. “Yeah, something about providing a home to someone who doesn’t have one is just... It’s really sweet.” You shrugged. “So you do want children?” “I guess so.” You nodded. “So.... What other secrets must you know?” Draco asked, teasing you. You chuckled and rested your head against the archway. “What made you so attracted to me?” You asked. Draco smiled. “I had heard of this one Ravenclaw student who just seemed to be loved by a lot of people. And she was this strange little thing. I never understood why you were loved by so many students because I rarely saw you interact with anyone.” Draco admitted. “But there was this one day in our second year where a student was having a panic attack and you were there. You calmed her down in seconds, staying with her the rest of that day to ensure no one would even look at her the wrong way. So I became curious. I started watching you more throughout the years and I just... I fell hard I suppose.” Draco admitted. You smiled and looked at him. “What about you Lover Girl?” He asked, resting a hand on your leg. You chuckled. “I had a shitty day once in my first year. It was a week before Christmas and I found out I couldn’t go home due to my parents needing to leave home. I got frustrated and disappointed. Christmas day I’m sitting there in the great hall and this stuck up blonde boy puts something in front of me.” You said, smiling as you explained it. You pulled something off of your book and he rose a brow. “You gave me a bookmark because you always saw me reading.” You said with a smile.

Draco smiled and you sighed. “You really mean this.... Don’t you?” You asked. “With all my heart and soul Y/n.” He said, straightening his posture a bit. You leaned off the archway, cupping his cheek and sharing a kiss with him. “Promise me you mean this and you won’t leave me.” You said after pulling away for air. “I will make an unbreakable vow if I have to.” Draco said to you before you kissed again. “I love you.” You breathed out. He smiled. “I love you too Y/n” He said softly, moving strands of hair out of your face. Draco proved himself. And damn it he really meant it too because he never left your side. He was always with you, loving you and trying to make you happy as time passed. He finally had your trust and he didn’t plan on doing anything to lose it either.

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oopcio · 4 years

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Could I request an HC of the main 6 with an MC that is sorta dense and just REALLY oblivious about the LI having a crush on them? MC still reciprocates their feelings, they just suck at telling whether or not someones flirting with them. If you're up for something extra to add: LI confesses to having a crush on MC, but MC thinks that they are under some sort of love spell and so they start freaking out and trying to “reverse” the spell.

yes omg pls this is me

asra:

as much as it pains him to feel like his feelings are unrequited, he knows you better than anyone and that you, with all due respect, are a bit dense. don’t be mad! he still loves you though! it got to a point where, he inwardly proposed, that he could blantantly say he was deeply in love with you with every fiber in his being and you’d turn it right around, somehow. oh, it was so cute, though... was it possible to fall even more in love with you? if so, he definitely did. “even the cards are telling me that the person that you’re destined to be with... is right across from you.” he watched as your dumbfounded expression landed on the stove salamander in the middle of the table, and laughed the hardest you’ve ever heard him laugh.

but when the signs kept pouring in, he saw no use in trying to defy fate any longer. so he decided that he would close up shop and go stroll through the market and grab some bread from your favorite baker, find yourself walking through town square into the shopping district where you’d both goof off and wrap one another in scarves and hats that were as big as you just to put on stupid, silly accents to make the other laugh. no matter how childish, it was one of the best nights of asra’s life. and then it came time for the main event.

“mc, i have something to tell you,” he started out, his tone serious for the first time today. you urged him on, and that’s when he spilled the news. “i... i really love you. i’ve been in love with your for a long time - actually, ever since i first saw you, truth be told.” he reached out and grabbed your hands, looking deeply into your eyes with nothing but adoration for you and only you. but there was only one thought in your mind.

“did the baker put something in the bread? no- wait- did you drink something you weren’t supposed to before we left? cast any spells?” he chuckled and cut you off, ceasing any words that were going to leave your throat. “i can assure you, i’ve not done anything of the sort. i’m serious; and i’m far more responsible than that, i’ll have you know.” you laughed nervously and played with the hem of your sleeve, suddenly feeling the pressure. “wow, that’s reassuring. i feel the same way, actually. i... i never saw this coming, though.” this set asra off into a giggle fit, leaving you clutching the hem and rolling it under your fingers. “i’m... actually not surprised by that.”

nadia:

she finds your oblivion absolutely adorable, especially when she feels as if her crush is so clear. she sends fine jewelry to decorate your nightstand, has extravegant clothes specifically tailored to you, taking everything possible into consideration - quality of the cloth, your measurements, your favorite colors and patterns, occasions you can wear the garments to, etcetera. “i apologize, i couldn’t help myself. when i first seen this, i just knew it would look so perfect hanging from your wrist. don’t you think? oh, the diamonds sparkle so beautifully, it truly brings out your skin tone. hm, i was going to save this to present to you at the masquerade but... here, earrings to match.” she was more impressed than anything at how you managed to make even her most embarrassingly obvious actions seem... well, not obvious.

when the day came she decided to be open and honest with you about her feelings, she was so nervous and rosy the whole day, waiting for the absolute perfect moment because you deserved nothing less. you’ll walk through the palace gardens until you reach fhe gazebo, and nadia will promptly urge the both of you to enter. while you admire the flowers that decorate the beams holding the structure up, she speaks. “the view is beautiful out here, don’t you agree? i could certainly get used to this... hm, and the flowers are quite lovely too, i suppose.” you feel her long, slender fingers pull your hair back as she stands behind you.

you turn around quickly to face her, your eyes immediately fixating on her flushed face. “what do you mean? i’m not sure i understand.” she smiles and reaches for one of your hands, putting in in hers as she speaks. “i mean that, even among the variety of rare blooms in season and the sight of the city far peering behind the vines and trees, the most delightful sight i can see from here is you.” she carefully raises your hand to her lips and presses the most delicate kiss to the back of your hand, but not before making sure you were okay with it. “and, if i may ask and if you’re comfortable answering, how do you feel about me?”

you had an internal panic before raising your free hand to nadia’s cheek, and then her forehead to check her temperature. “nadia, have you accepted any drinks from anyone untrustworthy? oh, no, could it be one of the servants?! this can’t be,” you sigh, ready to storm back into the palace and interrogate every servant before nadia laughs and catches your wrist. “i can assure you i’ve not had any drinks spiked if that is your concern, mc. rest easy in knowing that.” you anxiously laugh and rub your forearm in self comfort, blushing and avoiding her eyes at all costs. “then, i guess it wouldn’t hurt to tell you i feel the same way?” even when you muttered, nadia seemed to light up and clutch her chest. “ah, wonderful. what a joyous day this has amounted to be. tell me, darling,” she says, gently grabbing your chin to pull it upwards, so you can no longer avoid making eye contact. “shall we go back to the palace and celebrate?”

julian:

he is certainly in the same boat as you. he is whipped for you, head over heels - he loves you so much his heart aches at the mere thought of you, but he is completely unknowing about your reciprocated feelings. it was a miracle how long no progress had been made because both of you are (respectfully) too dense, even when the most blantant phrases happened to slip from him. as flirtatious and grandoise as he is, he’s blinded by his own feelings and thus cannot see yours. he can easily make flirtatious jabs and not be affected by it, but if you ever did, he’d flush and hide his face at all costs. “what’s on the agenda today, mc?” / “world domination.” / “ooh, ambitious, aren’t we? can i be your... partner in crime?” / “sure but, you’re my world.” / “OH!”

honestly, it took a lot, and i mean a lot of convincing from portia for him to admit his feelings to himself, and then he had to do the same thing over again but, this time, to you. so he planned on doing so while you both would go out to stroll around vesuvia, wherever you wanted to go. and, if nowhere in particular, he’d take you to the docks and sit with you there while you had lunch, letting your legs dangle in the water. he was so nervous and it was obvious - he was as stiff as a stick in the sand. you’d ask him what’s up, why he looked so tense, and he’d finally sputter it out.

“i-i really... i like you, a lot, you know. i know i’m probably a lot to handle, and you’ve put up with me for so long already, so i-i’ll understand if you don’t feel the same, you know? i just wanted to get this off my chest, it’s been eating me up for so long now, i-“ but you were already frozen, only breathing and kneading your hands through the cloth that laid over your lap. “oh, i shouldn’t have said anything, i knew this was a bad idea!-“ but you cut him off before he could finish. “did you take any potions from the shop or anything? anything that made you feel weird after?” he froze.

then he was breaking down in laughter. “a potion? mc, what do you take me for? a thief?” then you send him a look and a nudge and remind him of how the two of you met. he nods his head bashfully after granting you that point. “wow, i thought that you were going to reject me. i’m kinda glad that you asked me that question instead, though. unless, this is the part you reject me?” the look on his face as he asks has you grabbing your sides, nearly falling into the water from the intensity of your laughter. julian visibly eases and holds you, making sure you stay balanced. “are you kidding? can’t you see how much i like you?” he blushes, color creeping over his cheeks and even towards the tips of his ears. “i... didn’t know. if i did, i wouldn’t have tortured myself this long.” / “yeah, because that’s my job now.” he clasps his hand over his beet-red face, frantically looking around in hopes no one heard you. he certainly wouldn’t complain, though...

muriel:

it’s really a miracle that you ever get him to let something about his crush slip. he’s like you in the way that he couldn’t realize your feelings for him, and in that sense he was very thick. but, he still kept it to himself - not because he didn’t want anything to happen, or because he was afraid of whatever your reaction might be, but because he didn’t want (what felt like) his burden to become your burden.

he didn’t have anything planned the day he told you. honestly, he didn’t plan on telling you in the first place. it just... came out. before he could stop it. inanna laid under the table as the both of you sat across from each other, each working on your own projects - muriel, his widdling, and you, embroidery. you told him it was just something to do to occupy yourself, but, really, you were making him a gift basket, and this little embroidered pillow was one of the gifts. there was no occasion - you just wanted to give him something since he’d always tried to be so nice and open with you. a bit of a ‘thank you’, you suppose.

you finished perfecting the pillow and stood with it, turning to leave the hut. you had a basket outside with all of his other presents, hiding behind a rock that was near the creek that ran beside the hut. once you’d gotten it and placed the pillow inside, you plucked around until you were happy with the placement of all the items inside. and then, all you had to do left was give it to him. you walked in and placed the basket on the table, making muriel look up at you and halt his widdling. “what is this,” he asked as he sat his things aside, so he could give you his full, undivided attention. “surprise! i made you a gift basket. are you surprised? look inside!” you could hardly contain your excitement; you’d worked on this for over a month. there were pressed flowers, homemade candles and soap, a little painting of the forest, and a handwritten letter.

finally, he grabbed the letter after examining all the other items thoroughly, you could see a small smile teasing the corners of his mouth as he read it. a few silent moments later and he finally spoke, folding it back up. “thank you. this is really nice. really cute. reminds me of you.” he placed the letter back inside, not realizing what he said until it was already out in the open. “n-nevermind, i-“ but you were already interrupting him. “did asra give you something? did you drink anything weird, muriel?” he would have laughed if he wasn’t so embarrassed. “no, i meant it,” he grumbled. what was the use in denying it now? you wouldn’t let him live it down. you were so shocked, snapping out of it only moments later when you stepped forward to play with his hair softly. “awh, muri... you’re the cutest.” while you were distracted, he looked down at his lap to smile, just a bit. inanna looked up at him, knowingly. “liar.”

portia:

as adorable as she found your ability to turn even her riskiest flirt into something small or dismissable, it was quite frustrating. not because she didn’t respect you and the possibility that you might not return the feelings, it was more being frustrated by not being able to convey her feelings in a way that you would understand it’s severity, so you can make the decision from there.

before long, enough was enough for her so she decided to plan out a whole day to spend with you so she could finally tell you how she felt. first, you were going to have breakfast at her cottage by her window with the sun shining on your faces, then water on the garden a bit, and after that, go to the markets and look around. finally, she’d bring you back to the cottage where she would tell you everything. and, unexpectedly, she had a sudden great idea when her gaze fell on a bottle of ink while at the markets, and it might have taken some buttering up for you to agree, but no less, you agreed. and the minute you got back to the cottage, your fingers were smeared with ink as you both drew on one another.

you drew a shaky sketch of vesuvia on portia’s collarbones, and she told you that what she was writing on your hip was a ‘surprise’. you were more excited than anything else, you didn’t expect anything out of the ordinary, after all. today was just you and portia goofing off, per usual. only this time, ink was involved. “hey, hey! that’s cheating! you’re just tickling me now!” you were both laughing so much, the finger-painting was half of the fun. “uh oh, you caught me.” when you were both done, portia grabbed your wrist, rubbing ink all over your forearm as she dragged you to her bedroom, showing you the mirror that hung over her dresser. you played rock, paper, scissors to see who would go first. portia won.

“awh, mc! this is so cute! you’re so talented!” she cooed, and you knew she was just slapping it on at one point. the painting was all shaky and smudged from how hard you were laughing while making it. finally, she stepped aside and gave you enough room to reveal yours. you caught a glimpse of portia biting her lower lip and wringing her hands as you pulled your garments aside just enough to see her artwork. it read ‘portia ♡ mc’. you stared at it for a while, jaw slacked and silent. “i tried to find the best way to tell you, but it was hard. when i seen that ink well in the market today i got the idea, and it wouldn’t quite be me confessing if it wasn’t fun and silly, would it?” you looked over at her to see her still chewing her lip, only now paired with a blush on her face. “are... are you serious? are you sure you haven’t drunk anything... weird?” you ask quietly, only to recieve her most genuine confirmation. “nope, i’ve felt like this for a really long time. i just wanted to let you know how i felt.” you smile and return to looking at it in the mirror, finding it cuter as the seconds pass. “i feel the same way,” you told her, carefully placing your garments back in a way where they wouldn’t rub the ink. she ran up and brought you into a hug and you both stayed embracing one another for a long but comfortable while. until; “hey, um, are you ready to wash these off yet?” you shook your head, pulling back to look into her eyes. “i think i want mine tattooed,” you both giggled.

lucio:

you are not allowed to be oblivious to his feelings. he could say “wow, i really like you,” and you would say “yeah i like you too, you’re a really neat person.” cue the face where his eyes are all big and his mouth is open in an eternal screech. “no, mc, i really enjoy spending time with you, i like buying you the finest jewelry and exotic gifts just to give you something that you’ll enjoy wearing and know that it’s from me.” / “oh, cool! like friendship bracelets?”

and the day finally came where he decided he’d take you out to the palace gardens for a pleasant walk and a picnic date, so he could finally confess his feelings. after taking a little stroll and finding a nice spot to sit, complaining about all the little bugs and itchy pieces of grass tickling him, he’d break it to you. and not easily. “i really love you. i could seriously see us being together for the rest of our lives, couldn’t you? how do you feel about me? uh, mc?”

you were already freaking out. no way he was serious right now!!! was he? no!!! don’t be silly!!! this is obviously the work of... a love potion! “where did you find a potion, lucio?! did someone give it to you? you couldn’t have found it, right? oh no, did you drink something when we visited the shop the other day?!” he scoffed and pursed his little lips, crossing his arms like an angered toddler. “what on earth are you going on about? you’re talking about potions when i, the count of vesuvia, have confessed my undying love to you and proposed that we grow old together while i shower you in gold and exotic animals, and you’re thinking about a potion?!?!”

it was certainly quite silly once you heard it from his perspective, but you couldn’t help but laugh at his hopeless expression. “well, when you put it like that...” you start quietly, picking at the blanket laid beneath the both of you, seperating you from the most of the grass. “i feel the same way about you. i guess i just never noticed, until now.” he cooed, immediately throwing anything he might have had in his hands aside so he could wrap his arms around you, pulling you against him. “oh, how cute! let’s start planning the wedding. let’s have doves, and how about some rare, expensive wines and glassware, and...”

(a/n: 1. i just wanna say i can def picture y’all’s wedding n lucio putting the ring on ur finger n u go ‘but like, just as friends, right?’ just to tease him AHAHA and 2. wow i’m so sorry this took me so long!!! been loaded with work & life so i wanted to perfect this and it rlly stressed me out when i accidentally lost muriel & portia’s first draft but oh well. i’m too tired to proofread so i’ll check it in the morning. hope you enjoy!!!)

- jiah 💖

#the arcana #reactions #the arcana reacts #jiah writes #ask #genderless-plant-likes-thearcana #oblivious #crush

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sugasmainn · 4 years

Text

10,000 Hours (Soulmate Hobi AU)

We live in a world where our soulmates are predestined for us by eye color. The moment you fall in love with your soulmate, the one eye that is a different colors changes to match the other one. For y/n, the concept was always an unfair one, so she kept her focus on advancing herself. For Hoseok, the concept was always one that he lived to fulfill, but heartache changed everything. He was focused on dancing and y/n was focused on becoming an researcher, so what happens when life takes control of their plans?

☼ Pairing: hoseok x female reader

☼ Word Count: 11.1K

☼ Genre: soulmate au, fluff, romance, angst

Warnings: mentions of death (slight but if you’re sensitive to that subject here’s a warning), mentions of suicide, and mental health issues.

a/n: I’ve been reading a lot of soulmate au’s and I’ve been having this idea in my head the last couple of days, but I finally got around to feeling creative enough to go for it. Hope y’all are staying safe and productive during this damn quarantine!!!

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Growing up, your mother always told you stories about finding your soulmate. While some girls were told stories before bed about princes saving the princess, your mother was telling you stories about finding your soulmate and how magical that moment would be. She talks about the moment when your father and her were matched together and fell in love. Seeing each other’s blue eye turn into brown was one of the most magical, and still the most magical, moment of her life. Realizing she was in love and that love being her soulmate was just breathtaking.

You see, everyone is born with one eye brown (natural color) and one eye blue (soulmate indication). When you fall in love with your soulmate, both of your eyes turn to brown. You remember thinking how much heartache it must cause some people who realize they’re in love with their partner and it ends up not being their soulmate. You never thought it was fair that the universe made people go through the emotions just to play a 50/50. Why couldn’t they have made a system where your eye changes color upon the first meeting?

On top of that, you still harbored feelings of resentment from your father’s departure from your lives.

Between your mother constantly talking about how wonderful it will be for you in finding your soulmate, your father leaving and how unfair the system was in general, you vowed to just keep to yourself. You valued the individualized talents people had and believed that education was the only way to enhance one’s life in the direction best for them. So, while other girls in your grade were talking about finding their soulmates and trying to talk to all the boys in the classroom, you were embedded in your reading. Books were a way for you to escape the fixation that people had on the whole concept of soulmates. It seemed like you were never able to escape the bitter cycle and conversation surrounding the idea.

One thing you made sure to keep a secret was your love for singing. Ever since you were 7 years old, you started singing some of your favorite Disney songs in the shower. Your mother always used to compliment your voice and started talking about how you should audition for different competitions or plays in the community, but you strongly disagreed with her. You never liked being the center of attention and singing for people would definitely be the opposite of trying to remain hidden. So, your voice became your outlet for emotions you kept hidden. It was something that was yours and yours alone.

By the time you reached high school, you were completely uninterested in the idea. In fact, your junior year, a nice boy in your class had taken an interest in you after working together as lab partners on an assignment. During the duration of all the time you were spending together, he began to love your personality. So, it wasn’t a surprise when he showed up to your front door and tried to ask you to be his date for the junior prom. Your mother was in the back waiting to hear you utter the word ‘yes’ only to give him a cold expression saying, “you’re a great guy, but I’m just not interested in prom or anything of the sorts. I need to focus on my studies but thank you for asking”. Needless to say, your mother was unhappy by your decision.

Hoseok’s story was quite the opposite. He was surely born with the heart of a romantic. Finding his soulmate was something he always had in mind and never failed to take the opportunity to do. He always told his parents, “I’m going to find her, and when I do, I hope you guys love her as much as I know I do already”. His parents always loved his optimism when it came to the idea of his soulmate. He always stated to everyone he talked to about his soulmate that he didn’t care what she looked like or what she did, but that he knew the universe paired them for a reason and he was going to love her for the rest of his life regardless.

Once high school came, around his sophomore year, Hoseok really believed without a doubt that he had found his soulmate, and that it was just a matter of time before the two of them realized it. One day while they were sitting under a tree at the local park, Hoseok had told his girlfriend that he was in love with her and she had replied with the same emotion. He felt it in his bones. This is the one, I just know it. Yet, neither of their eyes changed. Both remained with one blue and one brown. How can this be? he thought to himself. His girlfriend went home in utter distraught and he went home to lay in his bed, heartbroken beyond belief. It was in this moment, Hoseok couldn’t care less about the system or finding his soulmate. To go through something like that again, where you’re so sure you’ve found the one, nope. Not again, not for him. So, he vowed to remain focused on his studies and his dancing.

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You had decided to go to Yonsei University in Seoul, South Korea to begin your journey to becoming the best researcher the world has ever seen. Today was your first day of classes. Literature 101 at 10AM. Literature wasn’t your favorite subject, you were more of a science/biology kind of person, but from all the books you spent reading growing up you found an appreciation for the mechanisms of writing and making novels.

Hoseok on the other hand, he could care less during this class. He just saw it as another early class to drag himself too. Sitting three rows above you, he had his head back as the professor was going over the syllabus. He just had to make it passed this hour and a half and then he had two hours free before heading over to the dance studio.

After going over the syllabus, the professor spoke, “For your first assignment of the semester, I want you to write up a quick 3-5 page essay on your soulmates. If you’ve met them, describe the meeting experience and what it was like when you realized they were the one. If you haven’t, write about what you think of them and what you hope to happen.”

Even from rows separated, both Hoseok and yourself found yourselves rolling your eyes at the idea of having to spend more time on this subject. Both of you felt like this was all the world cared about, and quite honestly, you were sick of it. Hoseok was thinking about how he was going to write up those pages, but his thoughts were interrupted by a girl in front of him talking about the paper.

“Excuse me? Professor?” You asked in a gentle voice. The professor looked up from his papers to show that you had his attention. “Is it possible for us to have a choice in the topic? Some of us have a sensitivity to the subject, so I know for myself I would prefer an alternate choice if that was okay.”

As if he was pondering the question deeply, the professor said, “Would you like to share as to why this is an issue for you Miss…?”

“(L/N)” you responded. “And as I stated before, some of us might have a sensitivity to it. That being said, I don’t feel like I have to share my issue surrounding the topic, with all due respect sir.”

Hoseok was impressed by your confidence. It’s the first day of classes and you have to balls to go against the professor like that on something you feel so strongly about. That’s more than he can say about himself. He sat back watching the conversation going back and forth to see who was going to give in first. You were strong willed, he’d give you that, but it seems as though the professor wasn’t lightening up anytime soon.

“I’ll tell you what Miss (L/N), you can have an alternate topic of choice for this essay, but at the end of the semester, I want your paper to be about your thoughts on soulmates and specifically what you think about yours. Then, I want you to present it to the class as your final presentation.”

Feeling satisfied with the compromise, you nodded your head to indicate that this proposition was totally okay with you. Hoseok was left wanting to thank you for saving him two weeks of slaving over how to write about something that he didn’t want to dwell over, and to tell you how impressed he was by how you stood your ground.

30 minutes passed by, indicating the end of class. As you were packing up your things, you texted your roommate, Jiyun, to see if she wanted to grab something to eat for lunch. Hey Jiyun, I’m heading to the café to get some lunch before my 2 o’clock class. You want to meet me there to have lunch together?

After sending the message, you picked up your stuff and was met by a boy with great highlighted hair and a dazzling smile stopping you in the hallway. “Hey” the boy said to you, “my name is Hoseok. I just wanted to say the way you went against the professor like that was dope. I was thinking the same thing as you as far as not wanting to write about the whole soulmate thing. I think it’s overrated and I’m kind of tired hearing about it, if I’m being honest.”

You looked at him and gave him a small smile, saying, “Names Y/N. I couldn’t have said it better myself.”

“Do you have a class now? I was heading over to the café. Since this is our first year, I don’t know a lot of people around here and you seem really cool.” Hoseok said to you while walking side by side out of the hall your Literature was located. Just then your phone buzzed indicating that you got a text. It was from Jiyun saying, Can’t. I have to meet with one of my professors to go over how I’m going to go about exams with my ADHD. But, I’ll pick up something for dinner tonight and we can have a mini dinner and movie to celebrate the beginning of the semester. You looked back up at Hoseok as he was waiting for your answer. “Sure, that sounds nice. I can always use a friend.”

Hoseok and you spent the next nearly two hours talking about your lives, where you came from, any siblings, etc. You found out that he was from Gwangju, had one sister and both of his parents were married. He played tennis growing up, but soon after realized his love for dancing, which explained why he came to the university to major in dance therapy. He lived with two of his friends off campus and their names were Yoongi and Namjoon. Yoongi was a year ahead, while Namjoon was a freshman like you both. Apparently Yoongi and Namjoon were his best friends since grade school.

“What was life like growing up for you?” He had asked you from across the table. You always hated the topic, mainly because you kept to yourself. Your first friend was your roommate for Christ’s sake. You knew it was stupid to dwell over telling people your boring life story, but you always felt they would ultimately find you boring and not want to really be around you much after that. Reluctantly, you decided to talk about your upbringing anyways.

“There wasn’t anything major. My mom and I moved to Dageu from Michigan when I was only 6, so I really haven’t known anything else. I mainly kept to myself as a child, keeping busy with reading and my studies, so I didn’t do much as far as sports or hobbies go.” You replied back to Hoseok, receiving a look like he was waiting for you to continue. “I mean, I guess you can consider reading as a hobby. I love discussing the different plots to the different novels I read. My room back home has built up quite the collection.”

“I was going to say, your Korean is excellent and now I know why” He stated with a small giggle at the end. “You never did anything for fun outside of school and reading?” He asked you. You looked at him for a bit, and for a brief moment you thought about telling him that you sing and create music in your spare time. But, you knew he would more than likely ask to hear how you sound, so you ultimately decided to keep it a secret. “Nope. Nothing really besides the normal TV watching with my mother.”

He looked at you like he was trying to find something in you that showed something contrary to your words but was interrupted from his thoughts by the alarm on his phone going off. “Oh! I’m sorry, it’s a couple of minutes before my next class starts, and it’s all the way across campus. But, I’ll text you later or something. Maybe we can get together later to work on our essay’s together? I have no idea what alternate topic I’m going to pick.” You looked at him was a shy smile and said, “Neither do I, but yeah. I think that would be beneficial to us both. You know what they say, two brains working are better than one, right?”

He looked at you with a nice smile and took in what you said for a moment. He nodded his head and replied say, “Exactly what I was thinking. You know what Y/N? I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship.” He stuck his right hand out for you to grab and shake as he was saying his last goodbyes. You had a feeling he was going to do what could to bring you out of your shell.

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It’s been a month in a half since the semester started and it was starting to get to you. Taking two biology and organic chemistry courses, the work load was over the top on your stressors list. Literature class was your favorite part of the day, considering it was a break from the hard work that came with the life of a microbiology major. Also, you had Hoseok in your class to provide some comedic relief. Your friendship with him has grown a lot since your first meeting. He and you meet every Monday after class to have lunch, and Jiyun even started to join you for them at times. The three of you got along great, and you loved your little Monday get togethers. It kept you sane from the insanity that was your college life.

Today was one of the days that Jiyun couldn’t make it, so it was just Hoseok and yourself. He was telling you about his new choreography he was working on for a show his class was participating in. He quickly gained a top spot in his class, pretty impressive for a first year, so he was one of the individuals who were in charge of creating some of the choreography for the class. You can tell how much he enjoyed each portion of his story. With each mention of what the dance consisted of and the story behind the moves. His face just beamed with excitement each time he talked about his dancing, and he loved how he had someone like you who actually listened to him about everything.

“That sounds like it’s going to make for a great scene Hobi.” You said to him with the nickname you gave him. You remember when you first gave him the name. At first, he found it odd, but began to find it endearing after a couple of time of you calling him Hobi. “Are you going to film it and put it up on your channel later?”

“I might, I mean once I work out the kinks of it and get everything cleaned up. I like the concept of this choreo. Mental health in general isn’t talked about enough, but for men specifically, I want to kind of push that boundary” He said with his beaming smile.

You loved to see him smile. It always made you feel good inside. When you mentioned it to Jiyun, she would always said to you that usually means feelings are starting to emerge, but you loved it when all of your friends are happy and smiling. Whenever Jiyun for example is upset, you always try to find a way to help her forget about what’s bothering her, or even try to help her move passed the issue altogether. So, this was no different to you. Just because it’s Hobi and he’s a guy doesn’t mean it has to be something romantic, it’s obviously something platonic. Yet, something very small in you thought about making him smile more than you normally would think.

Hobi was feeling the same way. When he saw you smile it made him smile, but he always summed it up to the same thing as you did. He hated when people in general were upset. It always did something to his soul when he saw someone in passing with a look or a broken feeling to them of just helplessness. It made him feel as though their suffering was slowly killing them, so he always tried to be a ray of light to everyone he came in contact with. I guess that’s why his mom used to call him her little ‘sunshine’. Yet, he couldn’t help but love the way the side of your lips would crinkle in a smirk before forming a full-on smile. He swore he would do anything in his power to make sure you would never lose your smile.

You were speaking to him, but he was starting to get lost in the features of your face more and more. Her eyes sparkle more than I’ve ever seen in a person before. You started to wave your hand in his face to gain his attention, which caused him to get disrupted from his thoughts. “Huh? I’m sorry Y/N. I kind of got lost in my thoughts for a moment.”

You gave a small smile and replied, “I asked if you wanted to get together this weekend and study a bit for our exam next week. I think two minds are better than one, but also judging by the fact you fell asleep for the past two weeks straight, I’m assuming you’ll need my notes.”

He gave a laugh before responding to you saying, “Hey! Dancing takes a lot out of me. Also, I might have stayed up all night for the last week watching the entire series of the Golden Girls” he finished, making you bust out in a fit of laughter. He didn’t even bother to call you out for making fun of his choice in entertainment, but instead chose to enjoy this moment being one of the moments that he just enjoyed you smiling and your time with him. Don’t over think it Hoseok. You’ll think too much on it and eventually convince yourself you like her and that she’s the one. She’s a friend and to remain as nothing more. “Sure. Let’s get together Saturday at 5?”

“Sounds great!” You said, then leaving to get to your next class.

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Sitting at home, Hoseok began doing part of his assignment for class this week. They were studying the history of soulmates and the poetry written between the first two people who discovered the bond. Both had already been betrothed to other people, but their bond was too strong to ignore. So, they began writing letters back and forth to each other. Must be nice to have that without disappointment. He thought to himself. He always hated having assignments like this. Ever since feeling that heartbreak, he never understood the purpose of soulmates in the first place. If you felt the connection to someone, then that’s it. Doesn’t necessarily have to be with the person they’re paired with by the universe. He began reading another excerpt from the book:

My love, You give me something worth fighting for, something to wake up for each morning, something to dream about when I lay my head down at nightfall to rest, and something to live for. Every moment of my day is spent thinking of ways to make you happy and make you feel protected and loved. When I look into your eyes, I see my future, and in my future, I see all I need to survive. Without your love, the piece of me that has always felt missing would remain missing. You are the piece that makes me whole. When I saw your eye turn brown, I knew there was something to this. I prayed to the God above and asked Him to show me what it was that this meant, and I know now that our souls were meant for each other. Yours designed to fit mine and mine for you. You are the song I sing and the revelation I was waiting for. I know we both are promised to another, but I promise you that we will find a way, and when we do is when we will make our greatest escape yet. This time, never coming back.

I love you and I will dream of you tonight and every night until the day I die, Your Soulmate

There was that damn word again. Soulmate. How he dreaded that word. He felt all that with his previous girlfriend and nothing happened to their eyes. Reading that one passage put him over the edge and made him throw everything off of his table. He hadn’t realized he was showing his anger and frustration until Namjoon came into his room with a concerned expression on his face. “Dude, are you okay? I could hear you slamming stuff all the way down the hall” He stated.

Looking around his room with a clearer state of mind, he saw he had in fact nearly destroyed his room completely in his fit of rage. “Yeah” Hoseok breathed out. “I’m fine. I was just stressed out from some of these assignments I have due next week that all Joon.”

“Yeah, I’m not buying that. You’ve gotten this mad twice in your life. Once when your mom sold your favorite toy bear at a garage sale in the fourth grade and the other being when you and Minseo broke up because of…” Namjoon trailed off not wanting to finish his statement, knowing it was a painful memory for his friend.

Though, Hoseok wasn’t having it today. He was tired of feeling like he had to be dealt with delicately when the subject came up. “You mean when we didn’t match with the soulmate bond? You can say it you know.”

Namjoon sighed entering his room and sitting on his bed. “I didn’t want to make whatever was going on with you worse” He said confessing. He tapped the side next to him on the bed signaling for Hoseok to join him. “Now, I’ve been your best friend before we were able to understand what a boner was. Tell me what’s actually going on.”

“I mean, I technically didn’t lie. My assignment has been causing me some stress” Hoseok said in reply. He took a moment to gather his thoughts on what to tell his friend without seeming like a complete dramatic bitch. “We’re reading an excerpt on letters sent between the first two soulmates in history, and as I was reading one of them I started to think about Minseo and how we basically felt the same way, yet we were left destroyed after that. How can something that was made to bring us to the person who would complete us also bring me the biggest pain I’ve ever felt?”

Namjoon took a moment to assess his friend’s behavior and emotional state. He realized that maybe it wasn’t so much that this reading assignment was bringing him reminders of the pain he experienced, but realization that perhaps what he thought was a soulmate bond that didn’t happen, wasn’t something that strong at all. “You said that it was basically the same, but not so much that it was the same. Do you think that it’s possible that your bond with Minseo was never as strong as you both believed? You’ve always been a romantic, and this was something that was close to the feeling of a soulmate, so it’s understandable that you would feel like she was your soulmate.”

Hoseok sat with the thought for a moment and tried to take in what Namjoon said to him. Did he not feel the strong soulmate bond with Minseo? Of course, I did. He just doesn’t understand what I meant by my statement. He shook off the idea and replied, “Of course, I did. It’s just a painful memory and reminder is all. I’ll be fine Joon, but thanks for checking in on me. I should clean this up and get to bed” He said getting up from where he was sitting on his bed to move over to the fallen books next to his desk. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

Giving up and sighing in defeat, Namjoon got up and started walking out of his room, looking back to give him one more piece of advice before leaving it completely. “Just think about what I said okay? Don’t just write it off. Either way, just know it’s okay to feel things and understand they needed happen for what ever reason. It’s only when we accept the fact and move on that we learn what that reason was for.”

Hoseok nodded in response with a smile signaling a goodnight. Had this happen for a reason? He chose not to dwell on the thought, knowing it would just make him more agitated. If what Namjoon was saying was true, he hoped he would come to find out the reason for his pain soon enough.

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“I’m telling you, my mother is just as crazy as Sarang in this novel! She is so obsessed with The Jackson 5 and Michael Jackson she followed them around for a whole year while they were on tour” you said while laughing with Hoseok on his couch. Your literature class was reading a novel about a girl who was so obsessed with a band that she went as far as killing the member she was in love with.

“You think your mother would go as far as she did in the book?” Hoseok asked you jokingly, to which you replied with a smirk before saying, “I don’t know. She is a die hard romantic. Dying at the hands of your lover? How else can one hope to die but by the hands of their lover and that being the last sight they see?”

This threw him off so much he went from his laughing expression to one the portrayed pure fear in the tone of voice you chose to say that statement in. Mixed with the expression that you gave as you said it? “You’re deadass right now?” He asked in fear of what your answer was going to be. “No, dumbass, I came from a semi-crazy gene pool not a full blow psychopath” you stated before laughing even harder than before.

For the rest of your evening, you both sat there discussing the major points of the book, but all the while joking with each other entirely too much for two people who were meant to be studying and analyzing literature. You both weren’t getting as much done as you would have if you were doing it separately, and this was the first time you didn’t care about not going the extra mile. You were genuinely enjoying the company of your friend next to you, more so than you have ever enjoyed anyone else’s company before. You weren’t aware of it, but he was thinking almost the exact same thing.

In the middle of your laughter with one another, you were both interrupted to the sound of the front door to his apartment opening and shutting. When you both looked up, your eyes met with those of two unfamiliar men in the entrance. “Who’s this?” the taller one asked Hoseok referring to you. “This is Y/N, my friend from my literature class I was telling you guys about” he responded back. “Y/N, these are my roommates and best friends, Namjoon and Yoongi.”

You looked at both the men in front of you, giving them a politely shy smile, you stood up bowing before them introducing yourself. “Hey, I’m Y/N. Hobi’s mentioned you guys a lot, I’m glad to finally be meeting you both.” Both of them gave you a confused look before Yoongi looked at you with a small smile saying, “Hobi?” You grew slightly embarrassed remembering that it was a nickname you had given him and not something people would regularly call him.

Hoseok took your lack of response as a sign to interject. “Yeah, it’s a nickname that she gave me a few weeks after we met. Guess it just kind of stuck.” Both the boys gave each other a look as if they were communicating telepathically to one another. Once they broke their eye contact with one another, it was Namjoon this time speaking saying, “Well, we are going to go and let you guys get back to studying for your class. It was nice meeting you Y/N. We look forward to seeing you later, so feel free to come by whenever you’d like” he finished with a smile, and after he was finished he gave Hoseok a pat on his shoulder, and with Yoongi bowing, they both left to further into the apartment.

“Sorry about them. They like to joke around a lot” he began apologizing to you. What you both didn’t know was how both of his roommates were on the other side of the wall next to the living room, Namjoon’s room, listening to what was going on between the two of you. “Don’t worry about it Hobi. I’m a lot tougher than I may look. Plus, I’m sure they’re just as great as you’ve been telling me. There’s got to be a reason you guys have been friends for so many years” you replied trying to reassure him.

He took a moment to take in what you were saying, and glad the brief but awkward encounter didn’t scare you off. “Yeah, I guess they just aren’t used to seeing me around a girl again.” You thought about his words for a minute trying to think what he meant by that. Is he afraid of girls normally? “What do you mean by ‘again’?” you asked him in curiosity.

He didn’t realize what he said until you asked your question. Shit, he thought to himself, do I tell her? No. You don’t have too, and she doesn’t need to know…but she is a good friend of yours now. You can trust her, right? He took a moment to collect his thoughts before beginning to tell you the biggest event to happen to him. “Well, it’s kind of a story. It’s a bit long…” he said beginning to trail off.

“Oh no Hobi, if you don’t feel comfortable telling me about it then don’t feel you need to please. I don’t want it to seem like I’m prying” you said trying to reassure him. He looked you in the eyes and gave you a small forced smile before saying, “No, it’s okay. I want to tell you. I mean, you’re a close friend of mine now, so I feel it’s okay to trust you with this.”

He breathed in once quickly before beginning his story. “When I was 15 I fell in love with my girlfriend at the time Minseo. We fell head over heels fast, and before I knew it we were spending all day and everyday together. She was the other half that completed me. I was so sure she was the one and I was going to marry her after college. The day we both realized we were in love with one another, we went to go tell each other formally. We just knew, yet our eyes remained the same. Nothing changed, and in that moment, it killed me. She started to cry, and I was just in shock. I wanted to fix everything, I wanted to fix her pain way above dealing and fixing with my own. Seeing her in pain was crushing me more than finding out she wasn’t my designed soulmate. I couldn’t offer her my shoulder to cry on, because we both believed in soulmates. Well, she still does. I on the other hand, I couldn’t care less about the system any longer.”

You were in shock as you saw the pain on your friend’s face revealing itself as the reminder of the painful memory. You now understood what he meant when he said wanting to fix something you can’t. It was killing you that he was in this much pain, but the damage was done to his soul and there was nothing more you could offer him than an ear to listen too. You never experienced a loss of love like that before, but you tried to offer the only help you knew of a loss of love.

“Hobi, I’m so sorry that happened to you. I can’t even imagine the pain of losing a love like that. I’ve never really let myself indulge in something like that. But, I can kind of understand having your heart broken” you took a breath before continuing, “…my dad passed away when I was a little girl. He left a note to us saying that he felt like a failure of a man, but that was his depression talking to him. My mom found him in the basement hung from the ceiling with the note in his hand while she was going down to do laundry. At his funeral, she said ‘Sweetheart, was there anything I could have done to make your heart beat better, something I could have said to make it all stop hurting? It kills me that your mind made you feel so worthless.’ Seeing the pain in her face, the pain I felt, all of it was too much to handle.”

Hoseok didn’t know what to say. All he could think about was taking away your pain. He wished he was there with you when you were a young girl during that time. He couldn’t imagine the pain you were feeling, and something about thinking about you in pain and hurting was killing him a bit inside. Even Namjoon and Yoongi were on the verge of tears from behind the wall hearing that story. “Y/N, I had no idea you had that happen. Is, that why you hate soulmates?” You took a moment before responding, looking at him in the eyes with a smile forced, “I don’t hate soulmates Hobi. I just don’t want to invest my time into something that’s overly hyped and something that wasn’t designed with my likes and dislikes in mind. But, I’m not going to lie, my dad’s suicide makes me even more resistant to it. I don’t want to fall in love with my soulmate so much that if they leave like he did that I’ll end up like my mother. Depressed and holding on the hope that my child will live the life I was supposed to live, only with their soulmate.”

You both sat there in silence for a while, but it wasn’t an awkward silence. Both of you just sat there in a silence of comfort. You both recognized there was a big hole in both of your hearts, and the thought alone made both of you feel something inside you haven’t experienced before. It was new to the both of you. Hoseok was the first to break the silence, feeling the urge to do something to comfort you and bring you some peace, “I’m promising you right here and right now Y/N L/N, I, Jung Hoseok, will always be here for you and make sure you know that you have someone on your side cheering for you, supporting you, comforting you and just being somebody to you. I’m never going to leave you by my own will, ever.”

You found a new kind of comfort in his words that you haven’t felt before. You felt, safe? You were so grateful for this friendship with him, you were so filled, you couldn’t help but leap into his arms and give him the biggest hug in gratitude. He accepted it right away giving you a small kiss to the top of your head in comfort. He was breaking down the walls you had built slowly, and you were doing the same to him.

Suddenly you both felt more bodies on top of you both and looking up you saw a teary eyed Namjoon and Yoongi hugging you both as well. Hoseok was the first to speak saying, “How long have you both been within earshot of our conversation?”

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Hoseok and you have become nearly bound to the hip for the next couple of weeks. You enjoyed his company so much, and your roommate was beginning to notice as well with the lack of time you spent in the dorm studying nowadays. “You’ve seemed to be spending an awful amount of time with Hoseok lately. Does someone have a crush on her friend?” Jiyun would say to you trying to gain a reaction, but you would simply denounce her suspicions by telling her about how he’s just become a close friend that you enjoy spending your free time with.

“I hate to break it to you, but I’m sure that’s how people describe the actions of someone who’s developed feelings for someone else” she stated. Did she have a point? you thought to yourself. You quickly shook the thought out of your mind before it could manifest any longer. “He’s just a friend and nothing more Jiyun. Now, if you want me to continue to help you practice your English for your class, I suggest you drop the subject before you end up having to order Rosette Stone just to pass the class.”

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It was a Saturday night, and just like previous weekend nights, you were spending it out with Hoseok. Tonight, you both were sitting on a bench at a park near the campus eating some Wendy’s and talking about nonsense like any other day. Small moments like this were something you always looked forward to after a long day filled with classes, homework and preparing for your final exams. Unfortunately, one thing loomed over your mind in recent days.

Hoseok seemed to take notice in your shift in mood, because he looked at you such concern asking, “Y/N, what’s wrong?” You looked him in the eyes and let out a sigh. “It’s just, the semesters almost over and I have to write up that report on soulmates that our literature professor told me to do as our final. I hate that I have to discuss about what I think about soulmates and having to explain what I expect from mine, because quite frankly, he’s probably better off without me.”

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Better without you? He wasn’t your soulmate and he knew that not having you in his life would kill him. He knew that there would continue to be a hole, a missing piece in his life that you were filling to make his life complete. Who else would he spend his nights and weekends with? “How could you say that? You’re amazing. By you coming into my life, it had been one of the best things I can think back on in my life to happen to me. You bring me so much joy and I wouldn’t have it any other way. The guy you end up spending your life with is going to see it too. Don’t make yourself believe the lies your mind is making you believe.”

You looked up to him and smiled with how convincing his voiced sounded as he was telling you how he felt towards your friendship. “You really mean that Hobi?” He took your right hand into his left and looked you straight in the eyes saying, “I’ve never meant something with such sincerity in my life. You mean more than you could ever know to me, and I thank whatever higher power above that we crossed paths every day.”

“I feel the same about you too. Thank you for helping me feel a bit better about this whole thing.” You had then given him a tight hug that seemed to melt away all your worries about your finals and the ending of the semester stress. When releasing from each other grips, you couldn’t help but stare at each other for a bit in a comforting silence. That’s when something neither of you saw coming happened.

His blue eye turned brown. You thought to yourself, and in that same moment he said to himself, her blue eye turned brown. Both of you too shocked to move from where you were previously, still locking eyes with each other, mouths open, you both sat there trying to find words to say to one another, but nothing was able to project from either of your mouths. It wasn’t until the panic began to swell within you that you were the first one to break the silence of everything.

“I can’t do this. I need to go.” You got up from where you were sitting and began walking in the direction leading back to your campus, so you could get into your dorm room and sleep, hoping that this was all a dream and you’d wake up to a different scenario. Hoseok was quick to jump to his feet to chase after you. “Y/N! Wait! Don’t go, please we should talk abo-“

“There’s nothing to discuss.” You didn’t even look back while speaking to face him, you just continued on the path home while he was trailing behind you. “Nothing to discuss? Y/N our eyes changed. We’re soulmates.” You couldn’t take it. Everything was happening all at once and you couldn’t bring yourself to think rationally about everything, because you just wanted it to all go away. “I’m well aware of that Hobi, but I’m not discussing this. We both know how we feel about this whole soulmate’s thing. Just because we found out we are doesn’t mean it’s changed.”

He could almost hear his heart break slightly from his chest at your words. He knows what he said and felt about all of this originally, but now finding out it was you, everything seemed to be perfect. Everything just began to make sense. “Please Y/N, let’s just take a minute so we can discuss this rationally. I understand you’re overwhelmed, but we can get through it. We can take things slow. I know you’ve felt what I’ve been feeling towards one another, but we let our own hurt push it aside as if it wasn’t there when it was meant to be all along.”

At this point, you had enough and what you said next you were going to regret it the moment it escaped your lips. “No. I’m not going further with this. You aren’t bound to me and I’m not going to be bound to you because some higher power just said, ‘fuck it’ and paired us together. They don’t know me, and they don’t know you. I don’t need you as my soulmate. You’re going to find someone else.” You didn’t look back because you can already hear the hurt in his voice as he said, “and what if I don’t want someone else? What if I just want you?”

“Well, I don’t.” With that, you left him standing there hurt, broken and confused on what to do next.

You continued to walk with tears in your eyes from the flooding of emotions overtaking you. By the time you reached your dorm, you were in a full-blown meltdown that made Jiyun snap her neck around to look at you, panic and concern flooding her expression as she rushed over to you. “Y/N, what the hell happened to you?” You couldn’t even speak, so you looked her in the eyes to let your new appearance speak for itself. She stared at you for what seemed like an eternity waiting for your response, but she eventually saw what you have been waiting for her to notice, and with a gasp she asked simply, “Who?”

“Hobi” you were barely able to choke out before bursting out in tears again. Her confusion led to her believing that he had said or done something to you because of this, when it was you that had said something to him. When you explained what happened and why you had said and done what you did, empathy resonated within her as she continued to comfort you. “I understand what you’re saying, but the soulmate bond isn’t something that was done so carelessly. Your soul was designed to fit the person you’ve been paired with. To ignore that is to live incomplete. Just, think on that.” She patted your back before going to grab your pajamas and some makeup wipes. “For now, you need to rest. Get some sleep and we’ll deal with it in the morning to see what it brings then.”

At his apartment, Hoseok was beside himself. Walking in, Yoongi and Namjoon automatically noticed a difference in how he carried himself. The contagious ray of sunshine that he always held was now replaced with something more seldom. “What the fuck happened to you?” Yoongi was the first to ask. All he did was look up, and they saw what had happened. “She turned out to be your soulmate huh?” Hoseok looked at them confused. “How did you know?”

“It’s not that hard to figure out” Namjoon began. “You’ve been spending almost all of your free time with her, you talk about her non-stop, so much so Yoongi was beginning to say her name in his sleep, you’ve opened up to her about things you normally keep private, and she’s the first girl you’ve allowed yourself to entertain since Minseo. We both knew it was only a matter of time before something happened.” He couldn’t believe he had been so oblivious to what was happening around him. The signs were all there, yet he was too wrapped up in the joy that came with you to even notice the inevitable.

“If she’s your soulmate, why do you look so down and out about it? I honestly thought you’d be running home to tell us every detail that happened” Yoongi interjected. He really didn’t want to relive the painful words that were spoken to him from you. “To spare myself the painful reminder, she basically said she didn’t want me. That was that.”

Both of his friends looked at each other and just shook their heads in disapproval. “What?” Yoongi was the first to get up, and for the first time in all their years of friendship offer the wisest advice he ever received. “Ever since we were kids, you talked about meeting your soulmate. After Minseo, we both saw something that died inside of you that dimmed your light slightly. You tried to hide it as best as you could, but we’re your best friends. We know you were incomplete. When Y/N came into your life, we saw something in you slowly, to put it simply, begin again. What I’m trying to say through this speech is, I know she said she doesn’t want you, but that doesn’t mean to stop trying. Your soul needs her, and I’m willing to bet that hers is feeling the same way, whether her words show it or not.”

He didn’t say anything the rest of the night. He thanked them both for listening and for the advice before excusing himself to go to his room to end his day. His mind was going at a hundred miles per minute, and if he was being honest, he just wanted the day to end.

It seems as though Hoseok was taking Yoongi’s advice. He would call and text you non-stop for the next two weeks. Even though you were ignoring them, he didn’t give up. He even continued to sit next to you and wait for you after class each time. Though he was feeling discouraged by how you were ignoring him, he knew he couldn’t give up on you. He couldn’t give up on your life together, the one you were supposed to build together.

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You sat at your desk trying to type up your final paper for your literature class, finding it harder than ever before to write about what you think about soulmates and you specifically. Before, it was just your hypothetical soulmate, and now you have a face to the person. The worst part? You know you’re in love with him too, but you can’t let yourself open up to more pain and go against all you promised yourself. Just then, you heard your phone buzz with a call from your mom.

“Hello, my sweet daughter” you mother said through the phone upon you answering. “Hi mom.” She could tell there was a difference in your voice from the last time she talked to you. Something was weighing on you, but she wasn’t sure what it was. “Honey, what’s going on? Why do you sound so weighed down?” You weren’t sure if you should tell your mother the reason behind your attitude lately. You knew that as soon as she found out that you had met your soulmate she was going to go overboard about it and pressure you into going along with it, even if you told her otherwise.

Yet, you’ve been keeping all of this to yourself in fear that you would burden Jiyun. You didn’t have any other friends, so you kept everything inside. It would be nice to finally just let everything go all at once now that you’re less emotional from the initial shock. Against your better judgment, you decided to tell your mom. “I found my soulmate.”

Just as you had predicated, your mom was on the other line happy as ever asking you all kinds of questions ranging from who he was, what’s he like, what does he look like, where did we meet, what does he study, what does he do. You almost expected her to ask if you knew his social security number. “Mom calm down. I told him no.” She didn’t say anything at first and then just asked simply, “What do you mean you told him no? You told him you didn’t want to be with him? Sweetheart, why would you do that?”

Here it is, you thought to yourself. This is where I tell her how I feel about everything. You began to explain to your mother how you thought the concept was unfair to have the ability to be with who you wanted and who you chose to be with, not someone who was picked for you before you were even born. How your dad killing himself and leaving your mom like he did made you feel like soulmates all together were pointless. You wanted nothing to do with them.

There was a long pause on the other end of the phone. Your mother didn’t respond right away, and quite frankly you weren’t sure what to expect from her now. She normally would give you a lecture on why you weren’t thinking straight and that this way is the better way, but instead you both sat in silence. Finally, she spoke up. “I understand.”

You were shocked to say the least. “You understand?”

“I do.” Your mother responded. “You’re scared. The fear from everything you’ve endured and thought about manifested itself into just bringing you to what you find to be a logical conclusion that you don’t need your soulmate. And you don’t honey. You don’t NEED them. But, it does enhance your life in more ways than one. Yes, your father did kill himself leaving me heartbroken. He was my soulmate, and I was left feeling incomplete again. Which I’m sure is something you’re now understanding is what happens when you’re not with your soulmate. Even though I don’t have your father physically by my side, it wasn’t my fault or his. He was sick. His depression got the best of him and he was consumed by all of the voices tell him he was worthless. He was beaten down and he felt he couldn’t be saved.”

You heard your mother take in a deep and sharp breath before continuing. “But, I wouldn’t trade the memories I have with him for the world. From the moments we spent going out for ice cream, sitting in the car singing along to old Disney songs, having deep talks about our dreams and worries, the way he would do that quirky face when he was in deep thought, or the greatest memory he could have given me. A life filled with love. While he was here, I loved him more than anything, and he made sure I knew he felt the same way for me. He gave me the gift of you, my greatest joy and gift. So even if he isn’t here physically, I still have his love in my heart. I get to see him all the time still when I see you thinking deeply or the way you sing to your songs. You have your fathers voice. He is living through you. In fact, he left you a note for when you get married. I was under strict instruction to not let you read it until the day of your wedding, but I read it, and honey you were your father’s pride and joy. He wanted you to believe in the wonders and love of life.”

At this point you were a full mess. You couldn’t even believe the words you were hearing. You spent so much time mad at everything and everyone for your father leaving, you never took the time to sit back and think about all of the good memories he left for you and your mother. Maybe you were wrong in not even giving Hoseok the chance to sit down with you to discuss everything. You had to make it up to him somehow, but you didn’t know how. All of this was so new and foreign to you, expressing you want him wasn’t something that was going to come naturally to you. “Mom, I think there’s something I need to do.” You couldn’t see it, but she was smiling on the other side of the phone knowing she was experiencing the strong girl she raised now showing herself.

Once you said your goodbyes, you saw you had another missed call and text of Hoseok.

He…just said he loves me? You thought to yourself. That’s when you knew, you had the perfect idea on how you were going to tell Hoseok that you were willing to try too. You wanted him to know everything, and you were more than ready to put your heart on your sleeve for everyone to see. Especially for your Hoseok to see.

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“Ms. L/N, are you ready to present your final paper?” Your professor asked. If you were being honest, no you weren’t ready. You looked to your right where Hoseok sat stealing a glance just long enough to give you a small encouraging smile. Letting you know that you’ve got this. “Yes sir, I’m ready.” You replied. “Then the floor is yours.” He said taking a seat with the students in the front getting ready to hear what you had written.

It’s now or never. You stood up in the front of the class scanning your audience. A couple of people were on their phones, others looking around the room, and others doodling in their notebooks, but the one person who mattered the most in this moment was staring at you giving you his full attention. That’s when you began your presentation.

“Growing up, I always found the whole ideology of soulmates to be one that didn’t matter in the grand scheme of life. We have free will and with that we should have the ability to pick who we want to be with, without it being something that is picked for us that we are brainwashed into believing was our choice all along. I mean, we’re assigned a soulmate before we’re born, so how can the higher power that designs this know who I am as a person well enough to know who I need as a life partner?” You took a breath knowing the next part was going to be hard to get through without choking up at least. The memories of your father still fresh in your mind from the day you talked with your mother a few days ago. “Adding on, my father, my mother’s soulmate, killed himself. Only for my mother to find him with his suicide note to us in one pocket and another for me on my wedding day in the other. Seeing her pain, hearing her cries, all I remember thinking is ‘how can a bond as strong as that of this soulmate bond make him still have the audacity to take his own life’, and it became apparent to me that soulmates are just something constructed to give us a fantasy of something so great and wonderful that’s too good to be true ultimately.

Yet, my ideology was shaken this semester when I met someone incrediblely special to me. Jung Hoseok came into my life and challenged everything I had previously believed in about soulmates, just from him being himself.” You looked up for a brief moment to lock eyes with Hoseok now with a confused expression on his face. Everyone in the room was now full on listening to what you had to say. “If you guys didn’t notice, I have two brown eyes as of three weeks ago. That’s because my soulmate, Jung Hoseok and I realized we are in love with each other. We were chosen to fit and complete one another’s soul. Yet, because of my stubborn nature and my belief on soulmates in general, I wasn’t having it. I pushed him away because I was scared. I didn’t want to have a life like my mother. I didn’t want to deal with more pain. But, by rejecting him as my soulmate, I was causing myself the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life.”

Now, you looked up to Hoseok, who was trying to hold in his tears, to lock eyes as you said your closing statement. “Jung Hoseok, you came into my life with a common feeling on soulmates as me, and yet to our humor, we were paired together as soulmates. You are my best friend and everything I could ever ask God for in a life partner. If you’ll still have me, I’ll spend 10,000 hours and more in learning that sweet heart you’ve got. Even if I might not ever get there, I’m going to try because I love you.”

When you finished, you had all the girls, two boys and even your professor in tears. After five minutes of praising your work with clapping and tears, everyone turned their focus to Hoseok to see what he was going to do. He never broke eye contact with you as he got up from his seat to meet you where you were in the front of the classroom. “It took you long enough” he said through his tears running down his cheek.

You ran your thumb over his tears, now having your own filling your eyes. “I’m sorry it took me so long to realize I can’t live without you.” Without warning, he leaned down to meet your lips where they were. The kiss was nothing to what you could imagine. You were filled with so many emotions, but all of them were feelings you never experienced before, but you knew you never wanted to stop feeling it.

After he pulled away, he looked at you and said, “So, since you’re basically my wife now, how about we go out for a proper date. My treat.” Laughing at his corny attempts, you agreed saying, “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

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7 years later:

Fixing the veil laying on your head, carefully placed, you were doing anything you could to not focus on the growing anxiety in your stomach. Today was the day you were going to seal forever with your Hoseok. The love of your life, your soulmate. You couldn’t believe it’s been seven years since you found him, the person who completed the hole in your soul. These passed few years have been the best years of your life. Hoseok and yourself moved into an apartment in Seoul so he could open up his dance studio, while you went to go on to work in a laboratory to analyze abnormalities in the blood. Yoongi and Namjoon went on to open a record label together and live together not far from your apartment. Jiyun moved to America to study for her graduate degree, but you still constantly talk on the phone. You couldn’t believe the turn of events your life had gone through, but you wouldn’t change it for anything.

Snapping you out of your thoughts was the sound of your mother coming into the room. “Oh sweetie, you look so beautiful” she said, wiping away some tears. “Your father would be so proud of the woman you’ve become. I know I am.”

“Thank you, mom. I just wish he was here right now for this.” That’s when your mother pulled out a piece of paper from her clutch.

“Well, he is. Remember I said I was under strict instruction to give you this on your wedding day? Here it is.” Your mother handed you the letter, then leaving you alone to spend some time with your father before you were to be led by your mother to your husband-to-be, Hoseok.

My dearest Y/N,

I know you probably aren’t the happiest with me for leaving in the way I did, but it was never your mother’s fault or yours. I’ve always wanted you to have the best life possible, and that meant without me for a multitude of reasons, but a major one being the life insurance policy. I just lost my job, and I know I couldn’t afford to keep you both alive and provide for your needs, so this was my last way of doing what I needed to do as a husband and father. Just writing this, I feel such an enormous amount of love for you, but I need to do this. From the day you were born, I knew my entire life was going to change. When they put you in my arms, the first thing you did was grip onto my finger, and I knew from that moment on I was going to do anything and everything in my power to protect you and give you everything you could need or want. My little girl. I know you’re going to do amazing things, you’ve always been a smart little girl. I’ve adored watching you grow up, and I hope God grants me the chance to continue to see you grow up even though I can’t physically be there to see it. You are my world baby girl, please always remember that and make it known to yourself. I want you to grow up to find the love of your life, which is why I told your mother to not give you this note until the day of your wedding. I know you must look even more stunning than I could imagine. I wish I could be there right now while you’re getting ready to calm your nerves down as I prepare myself to give my little girl to the man I’m going to have to trust to take care of you for the rest of your life. Your soulmate is out there, Y/N. I know he is, and I know he’s going to love you more than words could even express. I know this because that’s how I feel towards your mother. I lose my breath every time I even glance at her. She is the part that makes me whole, but she deserves better. Please remember to let him in Y/N. You’ve always been reserved, so don’t ever close up yourself to your husband. He’s the love of your life and he’s only going to want to take care of you. You need to let him in to do that. Lastly, just remember to continue learning about each other. His heart must be sweet, so spend 10,000 hours, more than that, even the rest of your life doing it. Even if you never get there, you still have to try. Love him forever. You both deserve it.

I love you my darling daughter, and I am here with you right now walking you down to him and celebrating you. -Dad

“He is special dad. I love him so much, and I’ll love him for 10,000 hours, 10,000 more or the rest of my life doing it.”

#bts #bts imagine #bts au #bts soulmate au #jhope #hoseok #hobi #jung hoseok #bts army #namjoon #hoseok x reader #yoongi #jungkook #jimin #taehyung #jin #bts text

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xo-stardust720 · 4 years

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Swiping Right (Into Love) - ch 2

Special thanks to @natrogersfics and @chalantness for editing this chapter!

Dedicated to @aquajules because I promised her a new birthday fic (which I started...) but then ended up working on this update and finishing it instead... and then this update ended up being late anyway... What can I say? I'm a human disaster. Happy belated birthday Emilee!

Steve has never been one to really go with the flow.

That isn’t to say that he’s super uptight about everything in general, but when his roommate/best friend comes home with some exciting news, the tone of Bucky’s voice is enough to cause Steve some anxiety and to be immediately on his guard. There’s a certain amount of glee and exhilaration in the way his friend burst through their front door… and this is Steve’s warning sign that he’s about to be dragged into some sort of mishap that most likely won’t end well for him. It’s not that he doesn’t trust his oldest friend in the world -- there’s no one that he trusts more than Bucky -- it’s just that, most of the time, trusting Bucky is what gets him into awkward situations in the first place.

(Awkward was putting it mildly. It was usually a disaster.)

It’s been this way since they were kids. Where Bucky leads, he’s usually along for the ride. On the occasions that his mouth goes running off and gets him into trouble, good-ole Bucky is the one there to bail him out. Literally. He actually ended up in jail once, a fact that his best friend still delightedly brings up as a conversation topic to this day.

Honestly, if it wasn’t for his best friend, he’s pretty sure his life would be quiet. And boring.

It would probably be really boring.

So when Bucky comes home and throws himself onto the couch next to him announcing, “guess what our plans are for the weekend?” -- his first instincts are to say no.

He goes with his gut.

“No,” he says, not even bothering to look up from the sketch in front of him.

“You don’t even know what we’re going to do yet,” Bucky immediately protests.

“Doesn't matter.”

“Steve, c’mon! At least wait until I tell you what happened to me today before you decide you’re not going. And by the way, you can’t say no. You are an essential component to this plan, and I won’t let you ruin it for me, you punk.”

"Jerk," he automatically replies, but then he's letting out a sigh as he turns to face his friend. "What happened?"

“So I met these two ladies at the bookstore today…”

He groans, already knowing where this conversation is heading. “Buck, tell me you didn’t set up another double date.”

His best friend smirks. “You know that I did. Why do you even bother asking?”

“Because sometimes I still have hope that you’ll realize the women you try to set me up with tend to end up disappointed, and that you won’t do it anymore," he says, rolling his eyes.

“Hey, without me, you’d never go anywhere,” Bucky points out. “And I’ll admit, our dates could’ve been better vetted in the past. Sorry about that. They don’t know what they’re missing out on.”

“Did you at least tell her about me? So that I won’t be a shock to the system when she actually sees me for the first time?”

“I said all good things, I swear!”

“Bucky,” he sighs.

“No, seriously. You didn’t see these women, Steve. They were bombshells. We hit the jackpot!”

Steve lets out another sigh. Bucky is always coming in all enthusiastic about whatever their next adventure is - this is how it's always been. Whatever Bucky's up to, he makes sure that he's never too far behind. Steve and Bucky 'til the end of the line, always, is what his best friend likes to repeat. And he believes him. Even if he never has anything else, he'll always have Bucky in his corner.

He turns back to his sketch, picking up the pencil that he’d abandoned and as he gets back to work, it prompts Bucky to begin telling the story of how his trip to the bookstore had ended up with a plan for the two of them to go on a double date with some strangers. In truth, it didn’t surprise Steve in the least that his friend somehow managed to infiltrate his way into a conversation after admitting to eavesdropping on everything they were saying. Bucky just had that kind of charm. “So, let me get this straight,” he says once his friend is done telling him what’d happened. “You’re setting me up with the girl that literally rejected you on Tinder. She actually swiped left on you -- which by the way, already sounds like a load of bullshit because no one ever swipes left on you. And after you showed her my picture, she agreed to be my date while her friend goes out with you.” He eyes his best friend doubtfully. “There are giant holes in this story, Buck.”

“But that’s what happened!” Bucky insists. “I had Natasha’s profile up on my Tinder and I’d swiped right and everything. We didn’t match. She really did say no to me!”

It's not as if Steve thinks his best friend is lying to him, per se. But the story sounds almost too good to be true. For most of their lives, Bucky has had very few problems when it comes to attracting members of the opposite sex. Hell, the same could be said for Bucky attracting members of their gender. People look twice whenever he walks past, and once Bucky had joined Tinder? Well, it's become even easier for him to fill a calendar with people to see and get to know.

But the same could not be said for him.

The day he joined Tinder, he did so with all the reluctance in the world and mostly at Bucky’s urging. His friend was having all the success (unsurprising) and wanted him to partake; which he mostly did so that Bucky would leave him alone and give him some peace. Even before he downloaded the app, he knew he wouldn’t have much luck on it, but as Bucky put it, “you never know, right? Some people actually find their future spouses there!”

Well, Steve did know. And as it turned out, he was right.

It started off well-enough at first. There were a few matches and, for a little while, Steve thought he was actually doing okay. Little by little, his hopes were raised and he thought hey, maybe this new way of dating isn’t so bad. After all, no one wanted to be alone forever, right? It would be nice to have some kind of companionship and to find the right partner. His profile was getting a few likes and the conversations were comfortable enough that he even went on a few first dates.

But after a couple of weeks, things started coming to a standstill.

The most annoying thing about Tinder though, was the ghosting - when the matches disappeared without any explanation. It's not something that Steve had purposely learned, but he didn't have to be a genius to figure out what was happening. The likes to his profile started dropping off, the conversations became the generic ‘How are you? I’m fine and how are you doing? I’m good’ before stagnating. If he suggested they go get coffee, they'd stop replying. It was starting to become a pattern that he spotted immediately after the first couple of weeks. Having three separate first dates with three different women, he had a feeling that each woman was only in it for the free meal because they always suggested nice restaurants, but after the dates were over, there was never any follow up for a second date. As a gentleman, he believed that buying a girl dinner first before any romance started was the right thing to do. But realistically, it was starting to put a giant dent in his bank account, and if he started buying every woman dinner on the first date, he’d probably have no savings left.

This, on the other hand, did not seem to be a problem for Bucky, and Steve had resigned himself to accepting that sometimes other people just had all the luck. And looks. Bucky could get away with just about anything when he flashes his smile that seems to melt even butter. Steve lost track of how many coffee dates Bucky has had in the last couple months and it would seem he never had to worry about his bank account balances.

If Tinder has taught Steve anything, it is that most of the people who signed up for it really relied heavily on physical attributes. If you were attractive, you’d have a much better chance of getting a second and third date. And since everyone knows that Tinder is a hookup app, Steve knows he doesn't stand much of a chance there, either. He isn't the exception to the rule and he knows it. He will be forever known as Skinny Steve, the option no one wanted… not when there are other guys around that are taller, better looking, and more muscular. Women always seem to fixate on those particular characteristics and it isn’t like Steve could climb into a chamber and magically come out big and strong. He has what he has, and for the most part, he is alright with it. It doesn’t stop him from wishing from time to time that things could be different and that the world isn’t as shallow and vapid as the app makes it out to be, but alas, he tries not to dwell on it too much.

Bucky has even tried to help him out. He was the camera man behind all of his profile pictures and even helped edit his biography when he felt that what he had written down didn’t have enough “spice” to grab a woman’s attention. Quite frankly, it was exhausting trying to come up with some interesting facts about himself on the off chance that someone might look past his pictures long enough to read. And even after all the effort Bucky put into changing his profile around, in the end he had decided to change his bio to simply say, “Hi, I’m Steve.” The people he matches with would either want to get to know him, or they’ll move on… it’s out of his hands.

He doesn’t even go on the app much anymore. Why bother when he knows people aren’t really going to swipe right on him? He was rejected enough on a regular basis.

Feeling Bucky’s expectant gaze, Steve tries his best to ignore it and to continue working away at his sketch. His best friend, never one to be ignored though, just pokes him in the shoulder. He was going to be annoying about this, he just knew it. Brushing back a stray hair that fell into his face, he faces his friend and gives him a small smile. “When is this aforementioned date?”

His best friend grins triumphantly. “After you’re done work on Friday, of course.”

“And where are we going?”

“Leave it all to me,” Bucky pats him on the back, gripping his shoulder with support in the way he always does. “I’ll tell the girls to meet us at your shop and we’ll go from there.”

Steve loves Bucky, he does, but Bucky has zero perspective about these things. Steve doesn’t see how this time would be different from any other time but he tries not to let the apprehension show on his face. He makes one last ditch effort to get out of going. “I don’t know, Buck. Look, maybe you should just tell ‘em I got sick or that something came up. Take Sam with you, I’m sure this girl would probably be happier to see Sam in my place.”

“She saw your picture and she said yes to you! She’s amazing, Steve. Red hair. Green eyes. Literally looks like she could be a model. She might actually be one for all I know… I didn’t really get a chance to find out what she does for a living.”

“Well, at least she’s seen a picture of what I look like and knows what she’s in for. I was getting tired of people looking at me like you sold them some gold and what they actually got was bronze,” Steve sighs as the last of his resistance fades away and resigns himself to going along with Bucky’s plan. “Alright, I’ll go, but only because she was nice enough to say yes and it would be rude if I don’t show up.”

“It’s gonna be a great night, Steve! You’ll see!”

----

Over the next few days, Steve watches as Bucky becomes increasingly more excited about their “hang out” as it was described. Usually his friend would be the picture perfect of calm when it came to first dates, casually shrugging it off as if it was no big deal. The fact that Bucky was flitting around and trying to find the perfect activity for them to do, told Steve that perhaps, this date was different. At least, it seems to be different for Bucky.

Friday night, at 5:50pm on the dot, Steve waits with Bucky outside of his shop for the two girls that would be their dates for the evening. “Hey, there they are. The brunette is Wanda and the redhead is Natasha.”

Steve’s gaze immediately lands on the redhead as the two women walk towards them and he feels his heart lurch. This woman is gorgeous. Her red hair falls in long smooth waves past her shoulders, she wears only a little makeup--dark mascara and a little pink on the lips--but she doesn't need more. Natasha is slightly shorter than her friend, and she’s all curves--Steve apologizes internally for even lingering on that but he wants to draw her because she has the proportions of a work of art. She looks like a movie star, or a model that Bucky had previously claimed she might be.

It makes Steve want to disappear. Perhaps it’s the cowardly way out, but he almost doesn’t want to meet Natasha because he wants to remember her in the moment before they meet, before the dismay sets in and she looks for an excuse to leave once she sets eyes on him. The girls are getting closer and then it’s too late, they’re there in front him and he can’t run away now. He takes a deep breath and steels himself for the disappointed expression girls always seem to have when they see him for the first time.

That expression never comes. Instead, Steve looks up into a friendly smile as the redhead extends her hand out to him. “Hi, I’m Natasha.” There’s no trace of the apprehension or disillusionment that usually accompanies the blind dates that Bucky sets him on. Natasha looks at him with attentiveness, like she’s already found him interesting and couldn’t wait to find out more.

“Steve Rogers. It’s nice to meet you.” He can’t believe his voice works and that he remembers to take her hand. Her grip is strong and firm as she shakes his hand. Her skin feels soft and her nails are painted a bold shade of emerald green, he notices. She’s so well put together that it seems effortless, like she just woke up that morning and threw on the first thing she found in her closet without even looking. “Thanks for coming.”

“Well, I couldn’t pass up a chance to meet a guy that’s worth more than ten times other men I’ll meet collectively or so Bucky says,” Natasha winks at him. Her tone is flirtatious and he doesn’t know how to react. This is brand new territory for Steve Rogers.

“He said that about me?” Steve asks. He glances over at Bucky only to see that he’s completely wrapped up in Wanda, and he realizes that he’s still holding onto Natasha’s hand and he lets go, hoping that he doesn't come off too gawky and blundering.

Natasha grins as she lets her hand slip from his, and there’s something about her, the sparkle in her eyes and the colour in her cheeks, that has captured his attention so completely. “He said a lot of nice things,” she reassures him. “Quite a friend you’ve got there, Steve.”

Before Steve could respond, Bucky approaches them. His arm is already around Wanda’s shoulders, looking as comfortable as can be and Steve wishes he could be the kind of guy that could pull off a move like that without looking horribly awkward. Natasha isn’t that much shorter than him and it probably could work if Steve tried, but he doubts it would be as smooth. He takes a moment to study Wanda, and he understands exactly why his best friend is so besotted by her already. Wanda is all smiles, and bubbly, as she extends her own hand to greet him and he finds that he’s immediately charmed by her.

“So, where are we going?” Wanda asks.

“Coney Island,” Bucky replies. “Games, awesome rides, great food - what more could you want on a first date?”

“Oooh! That sounds fun!” Wanda grins.

Steve groans internally and probably didn’t hide his expression well enough because Natasha catches it. “Not a fan of amusement parks?” she asks, looking curious.

“It’s not that,” he replies. “Just remembering what happened the last time I rode the Cyclone.”

“He threw up,” Bucky adds, smiling with glee.

They made small talk as they rode the train to their destination. People look at Steve differently, he notices right away. It’s not just that he’s with someone like Natasha, it’s that she actually seems like she wants to be there, conversing with him in a way that shows a lot of interest and energy and she’s paying no attention to anyone around them. It’s already one of the strangest dates he’s ever been on -- strange in a good way -- though what makes it weirder is the way people look at him when they see the company he keeps. It’s no surprise that Natasha turns heads everywhere she goes, she’s so stunning that Steve expects it. What is a surprise is that when the men look at her and then look at him, their expressions change -- and Steve can tell they’re wondering how he scored with someone so beautiful. Women tilt their heads, looking him over speculatively in a way that says what does she see in him -- and he does his best not to display any discomfort when he notices them staring.

Natasha carries most of the conversation between them and for that Steve is grateful. He’s in uncharted territory here, unable to completely process what is happening as the evening progresses. He has no idea what to say and figures it’s better to keep quiet, rather than risk saying something completely stupid. He learns that she works in public relations, on special retainer to Tony Stark, New York’s very own famous billionaire and self-proclaimed genius, playboy, and philanthropist. She does a lot of damage control whenever Tony gets caught by the paparazzi doing something inappropriate for one thing or another. It keeps life interesting, she describes, you never know what he’s going to do next and the amount of money she makes is more than enough to compensate for the headaches he causes on a regular basis.

They talk about a variety of topics as they move through the amusement park. For a Friday night, Coney Island wasn’t too terribly busy, but it was crowded enough that they lost Bucky and Wanda part way through the first hour. Steve’s pretty sure that their friends disappeared on purpose and his suspicions were confirmed by Natasha when she shows him the message on her phone.

Wanda: Let’s meet up later for dessert! That pastry shop in Bensonhurst around 10pm?

“I’m 99% sure that we aren’t going to see them for the rest of the night, honestly,” Natasha rolls her eyes as she reads over Wanda’s text. She quickly types out let’s meet up tomorrow instead xx, before putting her phone back into her purse. “So, I’m feeling a little hungry. Want to get some hot dogs?”

Steve blinks. “You mean, you still want to hang out?”

Natasha gives him an odd look before one of understanding crosses her features. There’s a small smile on her face as she nods. “Well yeah… I mean, we’re already here and I was promised a fun night. Did you want to leave?”

“No!” Steve bursts out. “I don’t- I just-- ” He feels his face begins to heat up as he awkwardly tries to figure out how to explain that this whole evening is an anomaly for him. It isn’t the first time Bucky’s “ditched” him on a double date in the hopes that the date would lead to something more. He’s done it once before and it was such a disaster that Bucky swore he wouldn’t do it again unless he was 100% sure Steve’s date wasn’t going to ditch him as well. The fact that Bucky’s essentially left him with a stranger now spoke volumes. And once again, Steve is struck by the realization that Natasha actually wants to spend time with him. He takes a deep breath. “You said you were hungry?”

The only place to get hot dogs, in Steve’s opinion, is at Nathan’s. Anywhere else and it’s just blasphemy. He pays for their food and drinks, despite Natasha’s protests that she could pay for herself (another first for him, he notices), and he lays out his coat on the sand for them to sit on when they decide to eat near the beach. Natasha sits close enough to him that he can feel her body heat radiating off her. She’s practically pressed up against him. “So, you’re a tattoo artist,” she says, as she takes a bite of her hot dog. “Forgive me for saying so Steve, but you definitely don’t look like a person that would be tattooing people for a living. How did you get into that as a career?”

He laughs because it’s true, he’s not your typical tattoo artist. People often walk into his shop and do a double-take when they see him sitting behind the counter. He’s not big and burly like some tattoo artists, nor does he look intimidating either. “I kind of accidentally fell into it actually,” he shrugs. “I worked at a coffee shop throughout high school, and was always drawing something during my breaks for my portfolio… the plan was to try and save up money for art school. There was this guy, Drax, he was a regular at the coffee shop and he saw one of my drawings one day and offered me money for the design.”

“What was the original career plan?”

“There wasn’t one really…” he finishes up his hot dog and takes a sip of his lemonade. “Art was the one thing I was good at so the plan was to try and make a go of a career, wherever that took me. I’ve done some illustrations for children’s books and some graphic novels. In my spare time, I draw up some art based on popular tv characters or from movies and then make prints of the art to sell at comic cons. It does pretty well whenever I go to an event. Most of my income comes from tattooing though. It’s a pretty steady gig and it pays the bills.”

“Wow,” Natasha grins. “So how did you go from drawing art, to tattooing people’s skin?”

“Well, after Drax bought my first drawing, he came back two days later and asked to see more drawings and bought them all. He paid me enough money to cover my first year of college! Over time people were requesting more of my drawings to be tattooed and so he brought me on to do commission work. People would email me ideas of what they wanted for their tattoos and once they were satisfied, Drax would come in and tattoo them. He offered me an apprenticeship halfway through my college degree and I thought, why not? I’m still drawing and doing what I love, and I get to meet some interesting people too. And it turns out I have a pretty steady hand when it comes to tattooing people. The rest is kind of history.”

“That’s quite a story, Steve,” Natasha looks thoughtful as she smiles at him. “Can’t say I’ve ever met anyone quite like you.”

Heat rushes to his cheeks and he runs a hand through his hair. “Uh…I-” he stammers. “Me either. About you, I mean.”

She tilts her head slightly as she looks at him through her eyelashes. “I like it. You are a surprising person, Steve Rogers.”

Steve has no idea how to read the signals that she’s giving off. She’s looking at him expectantly, like she’s waiting for him to do something and it’s all he can do to try and keep up. She has a wonderfully expressive face, sharp lines and hollow cheeks but plump lips and beautiful green eyes framed by dark lashes -- and long red hair that looks so impossibly soft that it makes him want to run his hands through it.

Does she want me to kiss her?

The thought enters his mind as Natasha lifts her chin a fraction of an inch and she shifts even closer. His heart is pounding so loudly in his chest that he’s sure she could hear it from where she is sitting. She has his complete attention now, and he’s unable to look anywhere else but her lips. He thinks she wants him to kiss her but he doesn’t want to presume. Everything about this night is already so unprecedented and he doesn’t want to fuck it up in any way.

“Well, well,” a voice cuts in. “Doesn’t this look all cozy?”

Steve’s pulled out from the spell he’s under and he looks up to see a man and a woman he doesn’t recognize standing a few feet away from where they're sitting. He feels Natasha sit up straighter and she pulls away slightly as she turns to face them. Within seconds, the Natasha he had been interacting with disappears and a new version of her appears. She eyes the people in front of them warily, a polite but distant smile emerges. “Elektra,” she acknowledges, her voice even and void of emotion. Her eyes flit over to the man next to Elektra and if possible, Steve thought her voice became even colder. “Matt.”

“Hi Natasha,” Matt’s voice is low, his body language indicating exactly how awkward he is feeling. “I thought I heard your voice. It’s… uh… nice to see you.” Matt smiles wryly, as he fidgets with his cane and Steve suddenly realizes that the man is blind. It certainly explains why he was wearing sunglasses at night. “Pun intended, of course.”

Natasha hums, but doesn’t say anything more. Instead, she stares up at them and even though she’s sitting, somehow the redhead is more intimidating in her stance than the two people standing. Steve has no idea what’s going on, but it definitely feels as if he’s accidentally stumbled into some kind of awkward situation that he has no privy too. Elektra is watching them with so much interest that it makes him feel more than slightly uncomfortable. “You look so happy, Natasha darling,” she coos, though it’s clear that the tone of her voice is more haughty than it is sincere. “How wonderful.”

He has no idea what makes him do it, but he listens to his gut instinct and shifts so he slides in closer. He wraps an arm around Natasha’s shoulders and smirks, staring right at Elektra and silently challenging her to contradict him. “Thanks,” he says, confidently. His tone implies more than words ever could. “Her happiness is my top priority. If anyone can see it, it means I’m doing my job right.”

Elektra’s eyes narrow but she doesn’t say anything more. Instead, she wraps herself around Matt’s arm, clinging to him as if she has something to prove. Natasha turns, paying them no mind, and gives Steve a warm smile. It’s a smile that tells him she’s grateful, that she’s glad he’s there. “Enjoy your evening,” Natasha dismisses them and leaves them no choice but to shuffle awkwardly away. She lets out a sigh of relief once the couple is out of earshot and slumps into him. “Thanks for doing that. You didn’t have to help me save face in front of them, but you did and I really appreciate that.”

He really wants to know what that was all about but felt it was too rude to ask. It isn’t really his business anyway. He gives himself a few seconds to enjoy the way her body is nestled against his before pulling away. It isn’t gentlemanly, he reminds himself. It’s better to let her cuddle up when she truly wants to and not when it was a ruse to fool other people into thinking they were a couple when they actually weren’t. “Don’t mention it,” he smiles at her as he stands up, holding his hand out to her. “Want to go for a walk? Or we can go play some games, we still have some credits to use up.”

“Sure, let’s go play whack-a-mole.” She peers at him, tilting her head as if she’s trying to figure him out. After a moment, she grasps his hand and pulls herself up, dusting off the sand that’s caught on to the hem of her jeans. She grabs his jacket and then slips her arm through his as they begin to walk away from the beach. “I have the urge to hit something.”

True to her word, they found themselves at the brightly coloured tent minutes later and Steve’s watching as Natasha eagerly uses the toy mallet to hit the plastic moles that appear at random before disappearing back into their holes. Natasha’s efficient as she hammers away, and Steve’s coming to find that when she puts her mind to something, she succeeds. The alarm above the score panel flashes red, indicating that she’s the winner. She turns to him in triumph, a wide grin on her face and the sparkle back in her eyes. “Pick your prize.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Shouldn’t it be me that wins you something?”

“Don’t play into gender roles, Steve,” Natasha rolls her eyes. “Pick something!”

He lets out a laugh as he looks up at the brightly coloured stuffed animals hanging from the tent and one immediately catches his eye. “The giraffe, please.”

“Interesting choice,” she looks at him curiously as the attendant hands him his new stuffed toy and they begin to wander off. “Why choose the giraffe and not the lion, or the penguin?”

“Giraffes are my spirit animal.”

“I… had no idea what I was expecting you to say, but that was not it,” she laughs. “Are you serious?”

“Well yeah,” he shrugs. “I mean, who doesn’t love giraffes? They’re one of the world's most majestic creatures. Most people automatically choose animals like lions, or tigers for their power. Or they go for the cute and cuddly animals, like bunnies and pot-bellied pigs. But giraffes? People tend to miss out when it comes to giraffes.”

“But not you, huh?”

Why in the world is he talking about giraffes? Steve has no idea how their conversation has come to this but here he is, telling her his love for giraffes. All he can do is roll with it.

Perhaps it was the dim lighting from the street lamps all over the park, but Steve thinks that Natasha is looking at him differently from the way all women usually look at him. She looks at him like she finds him cute, like she enjoys their conversation and wants to keep it going. “Well, giraffes tend to stick their necks out and stand tall when they’re trying to reach for leaves, and have the ability to look down from above -- and I think that’s a beautiful personification for life. Like, don’t just be one with the crowd, fight for what you believe in and always try to see the bigger picture.”

He feels her gaze, and knows that she’s listening to his every word. “Something tells me that you fight for what you believe in, don’t you?”

“I mean… yeah? I try? If I see a situation point south, I can’t ignore it. Sometimes I wish I could.”

“Do you ever run away?”

“No,” he shakes his head. “You start running, they’ll never let you stop. I grew up smaller than those around me and never really fit in anywhere either. My small size made me an easy target but I always try to give as good as I get. That’s one of the reasons why I like giraffes so much… they’re such gentle creatures but they don’t confuse size with strength. Size doesn’t always guarantee might or ability. Plus, they’re loyal to those who have earned it and they’re weird looking -- like me. So, that’s why I consider them my spirit animal.”

"I don't think you're weird looking," Natasha smiles. “I think I’m going to start seeing giraffes in a whole new light now.”

He has no idea how to react to the words she'd just said, so he keeps quiet, all the while feeling his cheeks burn red hot. They fall into comfortable silence as they walk along the path leading out of the amusement park, away from the crowds and into a quieter street. It’s getting late and the evening is almost over, he realizes regretfully. He doesn’t want it to end. It’s the best first date he’s ever been on and he’d definitely like to see her again if she allows it.

He tries his best to gather the words in his mouth. “So…” he trails off as he slips his hands into his pockets, the giraffe tucked tight underneath his arm. He has no idea how to do this. Usually his dates would make excuses to leave as soon as possible, and the ones that did stay always indicated that they would get in touch but never did.

Natasha waits as he pauses and heaves a sigh. He runs a hand through his hair in obvious anxiety, eyes unable to meet her gaze. He mumbles something beneath his breath, and Natasha blinks, “I’m sorry?” She asks, wanting for him to repeat the words he’d just said.

This time, Steve looks directly into her eyes, and when the words leave his mouth, Natasha’s reaction was not one he was entirely expecting.

“ -- do you want to go out again?” was what Steve said, the second time louder and with much more clarity than before. He gnaws on his lower lip, preparing for some kind of rejection as Natasha’s eyes widen slightly, clearly a little surprised. The next few words stumble out of Steve’s mouth hurriedly before he could even stop himself. “I mean, I completely understand if you don’t want to--”

“Steve,” Natasha interrupts him gently. She smiles softly. “Are you sure that you want to go out again?”

When she utters those words, his jaw drops and he just stops and stares at her with aghast, as though what she had just asked was unthinkable. He’s definitely confused now and he shakes his head in disbelief. “What? ”

“All night long, I’ve been trying to figure you out, Steve.” The redhead in front of him shrugs. “You know, when Bucky first suggested this double date I was really hesitant. But your friend said some wonderful things about you and I thought, ‘what the hell, why not... got nothing to lose’ and I found myself feeling kind of excited for the date all week.” She tilts her head slightly, meeting his gaze head on. “I even found your profile on Tinder and swiped right, hoping that we could maybe chat a little bit before the date but we never matched.”

Steve is flummoxed and somewhat speechless as he listens to Natasha speak, baffled at her words. It takes a few seconds for her words to truly sink in and his eyes widen in pure bewilderment. Somehow he finds his voice. “Really? You swiped right on my profile?”

“I did,” she nods. “And then tonight… I mean, I asked a lot of questions and you answered them, but you never really asked any questions of your own to get to know me… and you didn’t even question it when Matt and Elektra interrupted us! So I started to think maybe you weren’t really interested in me, that maybe I was wasting your time.”

That sentence is the last thing Steve would have ever expected to hear from someone like Natasha. She thought that he wasn’t interested in her? It takes a longer time for the entire exchange to sink in, but when it does, Steve is annoyed with himself. His mind is running through the entire evening that they’d just spent together and he comes to find that she’s right. All of the things he’s learned about her in the last few hours were all things that she volunteered herself. He hadn’t asked her anything to show that he was interested. It’s no wonder she’s questioning his interest in her. He’s flustered as he quickly shakes his head, “Natasha, I’m sorry --”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Natasha waves her hands in the air, cutting off Steve’s attempt to explain himself. “I think I kind of had some stupid expectations of Tinder… I mean, expecting us to match was probably a little presumptuous and that’s on me.”

“I am interested,” he blurts out, holding her gaze. “I’m sorry that I gave you the impression that I wasn’t because it couldn’t be further from the truth. And as for Tinder… well, I don’t really go on the app or have my notifications on anymore.”

She blinks. “You don’t?”

So far his experience of the app has been shit. The only reason he downloaded it was because Bucky had made a comment on his nonexistent love life and fuck, he let that get to him. But here was this beautiful woman standing in front of him and telling him that she had swiped right for him. For him. And evidently, had been disappointed to find that they hadn’t matched.

“Well, I never seem to get any matches, so I kinda just stopped trying. I probably should've deleted my profile altogether, but I kinda forgot about it after awhile.” There's a masochistic part of Steve that speaks up. “Do I disappoint you?” He wonders if he does. He wonders if he did before he asked. He’s disappointed plenty before without meaning to.

There’s a bit of a cheeky twist to Natasha’s smile as she laughs slightly and shakes her head. “Well, not so far.” She takes a step closer and he feels his heart rate pick up. In the dim lighting, her eyes look impossibly large as she stares at him. He feels the warmth radiating from her as she leans up and presses a kiss to his cheek. She pulls back, smiling softly now as she takes in his expression. “I had a lot of fun today, Steve. And I’d like to go on a real date if you’re up for it.”

“But?” he prompts, realizing that she still had a few things to say.

“Despite what a lot of guys assume, I’m not an easy piece of ass,” Natasha shrugs, waving off his attempts to protest against what she was saying. She looks at him with a wistful expression. “I like it when people put in a little effort… and maybe my way of thinking is a little ridiculous, but I know I’m worth the effort.”

Steve is still gaping at her as she turns and hails a cab, leaving him there on the sidewalk. Just before the cab pulls away though, Natasha rolls down the window and gives him a mischievous grin. “Why don’t you think about it, Steve? Look for me on Tinder. Find my profile and swipe right, and then maybe I’ll give you my number.” Her playful grin turns into a soft and hopeful smile. “I’ll take a chance if you will.”

Steve watches the cab drive away, still unable to believe what had just happened. Natasha actually seemed sincere. It felt like she actually wanted him to find her and even though it’s a foreign concept to him right now, he feels encouraged. It's been years since he’s gotten butterflies and yet that is the only way he can describe how he feels in this very moment.

He thinks about Natasha’s words a lot as he heads home, going over every little detail of the evening in his mind. She wanted him to find her, wanted him to work for it… I know I’m worth it, she’d said. Though Steve has no doubts that the redhead is worth it, there’s a part of him that can’t help the trepidation he feels anyway. Natasha is amazing and beautiful, and completely out of his league and he knows it. It was infinitely easier when he’d thought this date would be a one and done kind of deal.

And yet. And yet.

She wants to go out again, he reminds himself. On a real date. Just the two of them. Alone.

He pulls his phone towards him and unlocks it, scrolling until his eyes land on the tiny pink icon and taps on it. Dozens of profiles immediately load onto the screen, one after another, and he starts swiping left, looking for one profile in particular. When he downloaded the app in the first place, he hadn’t expected to get very far. Everyone knows that Tinder isn’t the safest way to find love, and Steve is aware of it to and wasn't too hopeful about it -- he just never expected something like this situation to happen.

Forty-five minutes pass and he’s still swiping left, when suddenly he freezes. His thumb, that had been ready to swipe left, halts its motion, and he stares at the photo that’s on his phone. At those eyes that look familiar, green and wide-eyed. At the tilt of her mouth, that Steve is coming to recognize as the start of a warm grin. Even in her pictures, Natasha is dazzling and he can understand why she assumed people would swipe right on her profile. She probably has her pick of men. He can’t imagine anyone swiping left on her.

His heart pounding, his thumb presses to the screen and he swipes right. There’s a moment of panic, the urge to drop his phone… to hide it. He can pretend this never happened and his life could go back to normal. He breathes out shakily, breathes in a bit more evenly. Why is he so nervous? She had said to find her, hadn’t she? It’s fine. Everything’s fine.

And then his screen lights up.

#my writing #i updated!#finally was able to finish something

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jarofrebuke-transcripts · 3 years

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Jar of Rebuke Episode 6 Unofficial Transcript

Season 1 Episode 6: PTO

INTRO

The following audio recording is classified documentation for Case [audio distortion] with the Enclosure. Unauthorized access to this information will lead to immediate intervention. Progress further if proper clearance has been given.

JARED

Guess who got vacation? That's right, me. After days of online research and two times poking around the local school, I finally got that time off. I had to pester Todd about it for a while, but I got it. He didn't even call or email me about it, his secretary did. We'll just assume that he was uh just “too busy” to get around to telling me. So guess what I did today? Nothing. And yesterday? Oh, a whole load of nothing. And what do I have planned for tomorrow?More glorious nothing. I got a whole week off and I plan to spend at least at least most of it relaxing at home. I don't even want to change out of my PJs. After I shower, I'll just put on other PJs! No, not shower, I'll take baths! I got homemade bubble baths from the Chronicle Inn shop recently that I've been waiting to use. Holly texted me earlier which was nice. I haven't really talked to them much, at least not in a while. Originally they were just asking if I planned to go out to a an upcoming bonfire, before it gets too cold to really do much outside. And it was really nice to just tell them the full honest truth, that I'd been given a week off of work and I really didn't feel like going out and doing anything. It, just the idea of staying home and doing basically zilch sounds amazing. They then asked if they could call, which was equally nice as it was nerve-wracking. Nice because I liked the heads up for a call, but anxiety-inducing because I had no idea why they wanted to call, I said sure though, I had no reason not to. I think we talked for like an hour, just about whatever. As it normally goes with them. We went from one topic to another really quickly. It's nice to have someone that I can just flow from one topic to another with without having to explain my thought process. They just follow suit. Or, more often, take the lead in the leaps.

They told me about their job as a volunteer at the local school. Unlike me, they get along great with kids, always have. Hence why they worked the snipe hunt a little while ago. They heard about me looking into the haunting a few weeks ago, so I told them a bit about it, excluding the whole Enclosure business card thing. I also mentioned that I was finally given some paid time off work and they asked if we wanted to hang out. So uh, guess in a few days I'm having a movie night with Holly. They're going to show me some of their favorites, things I've never seen. One's called The Room? Apparently it's so bad that it's somehow good. I guess we're watching that later this week, and they're going to introduce me to some video games that they like. After we made plans for movie night I heated myself up some lunch and settled down in front of the TV. After lunch and a few episodes of whatever show was playing I decided to just sit and check in a little bit, do a little recording.

So my research with the old business card led me to a Dr. Severin Kelder at the Enclosure, right? Well when I looked further into him at work, I actually found out that he passed away like 20 or 30 years ago. Apparently he was working on some top secret project that I couldn't find the details on, but I could find more recent projects that reference Dr. Kelder’s work. So whatever it was that he learned or created, people are still using it in their studies of the Enclosure. It's for branches and projects that I don't have access to so I kept getting asked for passwords that I don't have. I… I could ask Dr. Loma- Milo. Promised them I'd be more casual with them now. I could ask Milo if they know anything. I mean even though we aren't lab partners anymore we're still friends. I'm sure they wouldn't mind helping out. Maybe I could ask Jamie? But she and I aren't really close. Would that be weird? And I really doubt that Dr. Castillo would be at all interested in really helping, she doesn't really want to talk about anything outside of our current projects. Not as chatty. I have a therapy session with Dr. Daman right after I get back from vacation, but I have no clue if I want to talk to her about this. She'd probably call my fixation on it unhealthy or whatever, but I need to get to the bottom of whatever this is. And that smell…

When my brain fixates on things it's really hard to just think or even talk about anything else. It's as if my brain has focused in so hard that nothing else exists, and nothing else matters, unless something else sweeps in and snaps me out of it. It could be really helpful when my brain decides to fixate on work and things I need to do, but it can be so infuriating when it... I focus on the song I heard on the radio, or a book that I read when I'm trying to get work done. I think Dr. Daman has been getting frustrated with my lack of progress, but what am I supposed to do? I'm not having much luck with remembering, but, hey! I'm using the audio journal more regularly, so that's good. It does feel like it's helping. Even if I'm not remembering much about myself at least, I'm learning about myself? And Milo said that's what's most important, more important than remembering. Because they said that things have inevitably changed, as is human nature. I still want to remember though! And I feel like Milo understands that better than Dr. Daman. But I guess it's a good thing that I'm learning about myself. I mean if nothing else I'm not as chronically uncomfortable as I used to be. Even learning these little things. I think I'll talk more to Holly when we hang out though. There's things that I think they may be able to help me with. I'd like to talk to Darius but I don't know if, um…

[scratching sounds] Hold on, there's something at my door. [door opens, birds chirping] Oh, hey buddy! Uh, no collar, huh? Oh, oh. I guess you're coming in... excuse me. [door closes] Okay, so there's a dog. A dog in my house. A black lab? No, its features are a bit too pointed. Almost like a shepherd of some kind. It's docile, and has just laid by my feet. There's no collar, and I've never seen this dog before. So I don't think he's from around here. His eyes are a little strange. I'll admit, I've never had a dog just make itself at home in my house before. Uh… who's a good boy? Huh, are you even a boy? That's a weird assumption for me to make. Considering that you're just a dog who basically knocked, then let yourself in. Either way, the dog is super sweet. Do you have a name? Um, Grove. How does that sound? You look like a Grove. So I guess I have a dog. Unless someone claims him... her... them? Uh...

Don't look at me like that! Gendered language annoys me, okay? That's why I like talking to Holly and Milo so much, they both really don't conform to what society puts on them and they seem to be more aware of other ways that things can be. Ways that the Enclosure didn't teach me, that's for sure. I mean why do people keep saying I'm “one of the guys”? I like being included, yeah, but I don't know... I don't.. just don't see myself as “one of the guys”. It carries implications. I don't mind being called sir or whatever, but it's... Ahem. I'm talking gender. With a dog. No offense. Oh shoot, what do I feed you? Should I call around and see if anyone's looking for their dog? What do you want to eat? I need to look into how to take care of a dog! Would Darius know how? Okay, hold on, gotta make some calls. I might have to change out of my PJs and run some errands. I'll be back soon.

JARED (contd.)

Okay, back. So, Grove hung out in my yard the entire time I was gone. He actually responded well when I called him boy, so we're gonna go with that. He greeted me with a wagging tail and then followed me back inside. He's a big dog, like the top of his head goes to about my upper hip. I got a range of things- wet dog food, dry dog food, treats, toys, the biggest dog bed they had, and honestly a bunch of stuff. I had to make multiple trips to bring it all in. I mean considering I don't know if I'm keeping this dog maybe it was a bit overkill. But having him around feels nice. It feels right. I did text Holly to make sure that they're not allergic to dogs or anything since it seems that I'm taking in a dog, at least for the time being. And apparently they love dogs, so that's, that's good. That's good. Uh, I put the dog bed near my bed and put out a bowl of dog food. But he doesn't really seem too interested in the wet or dry dog food. He seems to like the homemade treats though. I remembered that Ester sold them, so I made sure to make a second stop and stop by the Chronicle Inn to pick up some of those dog treats. But Grove doesn't seem at all interested in the food, but the fact that he likes the treats indicates that he does have an appetite. What do you want to eat, buddy? Listen I can't just feed you dog treats, that can't be healthy.

[phone buzzing] Ugh, why is he calling me? I'm on vacation… [Grove barks] Oh… Grove? It's okay, it's just my phone. I.. oh shit! [Grove starts growling] Grove calm down, relax? I'm not, I'm not answering it, I'm not… [Jared falls over] Oh, Grove, you don’t fit in my lap! [Grove pants] You’re much… you’re much too big. Down! Back down on the floor, please! We both won’t fit in this chair. [Grove snarls] Hey… hey not the key! Leave the key alone, the key stays on. Oh, uh… [Grove barks] Grove, Grove, down! Oh gods. Grove, down, back down. [Grove’s barking gets softer] Good boy… okay… seems I. Okay. [Grove continues making soft sounds] So, I think I know why Grove wouldn't eat the dry dog food but would eat the treats. Meat, he needs meat. That would explain the eyes earlier, and why he lingered outside of my house of all places, without a collar.

Um, oh shit! [Grove starts barking loudly, running. Door closes] Oh, I don't know what happened. I don't know if it was the phone vibrating that set him off or what. [Grove continues to bark at a distance] He was fine until he sniffed the key! He's way too big to be getting in my lap and then when he started sniffing the key around my neck and then, then he got mad. He started snarling. Smoke came out of his mouth and his eyes. His eyes started to glow red, and for the briefest moment I smelled putrid rotting flesh. The smell of death. [Grove continues to bark and snarl loudly] Seems that my new buddy is a hellhound. I thought he was going to attack me, he sure seemed like it, went from my throat. [Grove stops barking, starts whining] But now, he's not even scratching at the door anymore. He's whining. He sounds so sad!

Grove, are you done chasing me? I'd really rather not die again so soon, okay? So you're gonna relax, right? [Grove whimpers, door opens, Grove starts sniffing happily] Good boy, good boy. No biting, no jumping. [Grove quiets down] How about we sit? That's a good boy. You… you know sit! Good. He's okay. He's calm now, leaning into my touch and everything. No more smoke. His teeth are more of a... mortal dog-shaped size again? His eyes aren't glowing anymore. Jeez, I've got no idea why he was set off so badly by my necklace. I mean, yeah, I assume that the key has magical properties which is how it keeps my brain in check, but I don't know why that would have set him off. It's okay buddy, not gonna hurt you. It helps me. Let's get you some food. Okay so, we're gonna try some meat. I don't know if I have it... I don't really have much that's raw, only a little bit that I got for a casserole that I plan to try and cook, but I can go get more meat, you gotta eat I don't mind putting off cooking. [doors open and close, sounds of dog bowl being placed, Grove eating] Okay yeah so, uh, raw meat is what he eats.

Why is a hellhound so far from the cemetery out in the middle of the day like this? There's all sorts of creatures that come by my house all the time but this one is a bit strange. I mean the black eyed children and the not-deer, yeah, those make a bit more sense. They're generally wanderers and I do live by the roads and by the forest. But a hellhound? Y’all normally linger near cemeteries and churches, right? And I don't live near a church or a cemetery. The weirdest thing is that when he's not trying to bite my neck out, his presence is really soothing. I don't know, it's like he belongs here. As long as you ignore the whole key thing he's really lax with me, and I've never seen a hellhound act so domesticated. Especially considering how they normally are with people. But hey, if nothing else at least this means that you probably don't have someone looking for you. So I guess it wasn't too much of an issue that the clerk at the store talked me into buying all of this stuff for you. Hey, don't, don't… don't look at me like that, I panicked. I've never taken care of a dog before, and you're, you're a big dog! Sharing the bed with you would be like sharing a bed with a whole other person, and I can't just make you sleep on the hard floor so I got you the bed! I guess I didn't need to get all of that dog food especially since you won't even eat any of it. Ugh, whatever. Okay, we'll make this work.

I mean even if disguised as a normal, albeit big dog, it's weird that he's out and about during the day. I mean the black-eyed children yeah, now and then come out during the day, not-dear, yeah they're not really restricted to either time of day, but hellhounds? I guess I gotta do some more research, huh? Okay. Well, hey, if nothing else at least I have the resources to look into how to take care of a hellhound. That's not true. I have the information on what hellhounds are, where they are, what they do. How to restrain them. But I don't have the information on how to take care of them. They normally take good care of themselves. I guess you're gonna teach me something, huh? Well we'll learn together. If nothing else it'll be nice to have someone else here, someone that I am not required to talk to if I don't want to. Someone that we can just, share space. It'll be nice to not be alone. I'm gonna probably have some ice cream and watch a movie this evening. Here soon I'll be doing the movie night with Holly, which is nice. And oh god, okay, I didn't tell Holly about the whole children knocking on my door thing. I guess I'm gonna have to give ‘em a heads up of some kind. “Hey, just a warning, I have ghost children that knock on my door! Every night! Hope you sleep deep!” Whatever, I'll let them know, and I'm sure they've heard of weirder. We'll see. So much for doing nothing. But at least it's not work! Maybe I'll message Darius and see what he's up to this evening. I'm gonna go eat that ice cream and watch a movie first. So this is Dr. Jared Hel, signing off. Come on, come on buddy!

OUTRO

Jar of Rebuke is written and produced by Casper Oliver, who is also the voice of Dr. Jared Hel. The intro is read by Vanessa Rosengrant, and credits are read by Ashley Craft, who has created the podcast official graphics. Music was created by Luke Menniss, spelled m-e-n-n-i-s-s, who you can find and support on Bandcamp, Spotify and Twitch. Find us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter for updates. You can support us on Patreon or Podhero by following the links in our episode description. And special thanks to our patreon supporters, Tristan F., Perry B., Devin W., Becky T., Nico A., and Joyce B.

#jar of rebuke #jar of rebuke podcast #jor podcast #jar of rebuke transcripts

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warmau · 5 years

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{Regular Inspired!AU x NCT} Doyoung

tw: weapons mention, violence mention, n*fw elements, be warned. everything written here is a work of FICTION, it does not in anyway reflect reality, nor do i condone any of the extreme behavior. ♢ introduction ♢ pick mark instead | pick haechan instead | pick yuta instead | pick johnny instead

“i know i have asked a lot of you, and that you picked me to protect you and all ive done is use you to help my own means - but this will be the last time.”

“i choose doyoung”

you say

only to regret it a moment later because maybe you shouldn’t have called him doyoung so easily,,,,,maybe you should have went with mr.kim,,,,,,,

he is the head of a major department for this company

i should be more formal from now on! i mean he looks like he probably hates being spoken to casually

but doyoung doesn’t correct you

instead he slips the notepad he’d used to write down something into the pocket of his lapel

he steps closer to you

and for some reason it seems like the room has gone ice cold

not because you think doyoung is particularly,,,,,,,mean,,,,,but his eyes are so dark they could look black in the weak office lights

he outstretches a hand to help you off the table

and the rest of the members watch intently as you take it, skin warm and shaking against doyoung’s palm

“ill take care of them well”

doyoung says, gaze settling on jaehyun as he continues to hold your hand

you’re too embarrassed to scan the rest of the room

instead you stare down at your shoes

and hear jaehyun confirm

“doyoung might not look like it, but he’s pretty agile and smart. im sure you won’t get hurt~”

taeil comments as he floats past you

the room emptying out

until it’s just you, doyoung and jungwoo

who takes his phone out before letting out a sigh

“i would stay with you as well, but i have to deal with something.”

he says to doyoung who gives a short nod

“go. send a report if you need me.”

jungwoo runs a hand through his hair, throws one glance your way and then turns on his heel

“jungwoo and i work closely together. he keeps me in the loop of the,,,,”

doyoung pauses

“of the extra affairs of jung enterprises.”

you don’t even notice it until you try to answer him, but your lips are quivering

you touch them and doyoung watches

“you’re probably trembling because of everything that’s happened so far. don’t be fearful, it’s a natural response to shock.”

you just open your mouth - but nothing really can come out

what do i say to that? is he trying to comfort me - his tone sounds automatic, even robotic ,,,,, being a genius must make him very careful with his words,,,,

doyoung motions with his hand for you to follow him outside

you go along, thinking that you’ll be driven to some secret hotel or be kept in some warehouse owned by the jungs

but you’re taken to your home and when you get out of the car

doyoung steps out with you

“i,,,,i think ill be ok on my own-”

you start, but doyoung scans the quiet block of your neighborhood, without a second to spare he takes his notepad back out and scribbles something down

muttering to himself the whole time

“three, no four possible entry points - there are mostly residential buildings here with ample spots for stakeouts and ambushes. i classify it as,,,,,most likely dangerous.”

you blink, it’s hard enough to follow along with his train of thought but he speaks so fast that it makes your head spin

“it - it’s not that dangerous really so -”

he clicks his pen closed and ignores you

“best that i stay with you tonight.”

before you can think of a response, let alone register it in your head

doyoung,,,,the kim doyoung,,,,,wants to spend the night in my apartment?!?!?!

doyoung is already heading toward the lobby

you rush to catch up and take the edge of his sleeve in your hand

“um - do-doyoung! i mean mr. kim! i just ,,,, i don’t know ,,, ,what ,,, what the neighbors would think about me having you over for the night and i don’t -”

he stares at you without much of an expression as you try to form a coherent sentence

before cutting into your gibberish

“you’re of an age where you could be bringing me home as your partner. there isn’t anything suspicious about that.”

WHAT?

your mind rattles at the sudden string of words that come out of his mouth

partner???? your partner???? bring home?????

while you’re back in a stage of shock, doyoung proceeds forward

within a matter of seconds he figures out what floor you’re on and the passcode to your door

which you don’t even want to ask how he does, but he tells you the answer anyway

“it’s either your birthday or whichever keypads have the slightest indentations on them.”

he walks the perimeter of your home silently, hands clasped behind your back, dark eyes outlining the walls - the windows - the doors

you’re still silently stunned when he’s done, jotting down whatever it is he’s gathered from his self-tour of your home

before tilting his head toward the hall

“it’s been a long day, you should sleep.”

finally you break out of it - ok ok kim doyoung is standing in my apartment what should i do,,,,,,should i offer him water? should i tell him to make himself comfortable? should i ask more about what the hell kind of situation im in?

doyoung doesn’t waste time waiting for you to answer, he instead shrugs off his blazer

folding it neatly and placing it on your sofa

“if you don’t mind, ill be borrowing your couch for the night.”

you only manage a meek nod and he puts his hands up to undo his tie

“and again, if you don’t mind, im going to get undressed. i don’t much care if you watch, but seeing as though i don’t think you’re that kind of person-”

you throw your own hands over your eyes and mutter that you get it, you get it - you’re going to sleep now

doyoung watches you scurry embarrassingly away and when he hears your door shut

he pulls the notepad out again

in the morning, you nearly forget about doyoung

only to catch a heart attack when you come out after your shower in just your towel

and doyoung is standing at the door, fully dressed, hair slicked back and his eyes completely void of any surprise when he looks at you

“oh, you’re up.”

you scream,,,,,,,,,,,,,,which you apologize for later profusely as you and doyoung wait for a car to pick you up and take you both to work

he puts a hand out as if to say that’s enough and you shut up, berating yourself quietly about how much of an idiot you must look like to him now

but also,,,,,you think it’s a little odd about how calm he is about everything - from spending the night with a stranger, to nearly seeing that strange half naked

i mean it’s not like im such a sight to see,,,,,but still - he didn’t even avert his eyes,,,,

the car pulls up and you’re surprised to see jungwoo is driving

he looks tired - there are bags under his eyes, but otherwise he’s still as intimidatingly handsome as ever

doyoung gets into the passenger seat beside him and the partition is rolled up so all you can hear is their muttering voices

you sigh, resting your head on the window as the streets of seoul roll by, the looming shadow of jung enterprises getting closer and closer

out of curiosity you begin to wonder how doyoung ended up working here,,,,

trading his natural intellect for a life of underground crime

he’d got world famous for being appointed his head position of marketing, but he had been in the news even before that

called a boy genius for graduating college at the same time most other people were just becoming high school freshman

he’d become the south korean champion at chess when he was thirteen

you remembered seeing his face on tv, your parents gushing over how it’d be like to have a child so gifted and so talented

looks like they’d just sell their brain for money

you think, but then reprimand yourself - you’re sure doyoung and everyone else working here had their reasons

when you get to the office, mark and sicheng both ask you sympathetically if you’re ok

johnny chastises doyoung the second he sees him

“kim doyoung, i never took you to be such a dog! sleeping with them on the first night! looks like you’re giving nakamoto a run for his money!”

doyoung doesn’t entertain the comment, but you’re sure the rest of the office sees you nearly turn red

jungwoo throws a sharp look the lawyers way and johnny seems to know better than to provoke

so he turns away and you walk with your head down behind doyoung

“i have a lot to do today and the marketing team has deadlines, be useful and assist anyone in the department who needs it.”

doyoung instructs and you’re happy that he’s given you some kind of assignment

you were worried you’d be forced to sit in a corner with jungwoo’s hawk like stare fixated on you for hours

so you readily agree and leave his office to go ask if anyone needs a hand

the marketing team is made of regular people, unaware of any other business going on other than legitimate projects

you help out making spreadsheets and inputting corrections into documents - everyone treats you like the job you applied for - an intern

and even though it’s not the kindest treatment all the time, you’re content because you don’t get your hands on anything illegal

and plus, the experience is what you wanted for your resume in the first place

not like im writing - hostage of jung enterprises when this is all over in my past employment section

every now and then you think you can sense someone watching you, but you write it off as jungwoo or jaehyun

you don’t guess that it’s doyoung - who keeps detailed notes to himself

jungwoo does notice it, he notices the file doyoung makes in the afternoon and slips between the other paperwork on his desk

the file with your name and the numbers 000127 on it

you spend the next couple of weeks doing just that - intern work

and it’d all feel so normal

if it wasn’t for doyoung staying over at your place every single night

and every time you want to argue that it’s fine, you promise you won’t run away or do anything to jeopardize the jung’s secret

and that doyoung shouldn’t stress himself out living here when he could be in, what you assume is, his million dollar loft somewhere

but doyoung just goes, “shall we set ourselves up together in a hotel somewhere?”

and that thought just seems somehow worse than letting a world renowned genius crash on your sofa

it’s just,,,,,,he seems so out of place ,,,,,,,, with his expensive clothing and his piles of paperwork - which he does keep tidy

and the way he,,,,,,, works in complete silence unless he’s on the phone with jungwoo

he just seems so meticulous and neat,,,,,and you’re a young person who sometimes throws your sweater on the floor and who leaves books on the kitchen table

you notice that these things irk him

doyoung quietly moves your book back to it’s shelf and folds your sweater into the closet

your living room seems more and more spotless as days go by

and you’re not sure,,,,,,,,,why - but you think doyoung needs to have things in order, he needs things to make sense to him

you get home from work with him one evening and you suggest that he watch a movie with you

at first you just wanted to see his reaction, you were sure he had other things to do

but he’d agreed

and when you put it on - you sat uncomfortably far apart and still throughout the whole thing

you’d, like any normal person, had made responses to whatever happened in the movie

when it was a sad scene, you’d sigh - when it was a humorous scene, you’d laugh

doyoung did neither

in fact he showed no reaction at all, aside from opening up that notepad and writing something down

he must always be thinking about work, writing whatever comes to mind even when he should be relaxing

you’d turned off the movie when it ended and awkwardly thanked doyoung for watching it with you

he said he’d “enjoyed it” but you weren’t all that sure

you start picking up on the fact that doyoung doesn’t really have any sort of reaction to anything

he fluctuates only between two expression; stone serious or almost murderous when someone messes something up in his department

even jungwoo shows more emotion than him

you’re copying papers for the marketing team one day when mark comes into the room, he shuts the door

and you open your mouth but he motions for you to be quiet

“huh, what? no, that can’t be right they promised they’d take care of the authorities in that section. what? you’re telling me that our guy got picked up?”

mark makes a pained expression followed by an exasperated sigh

“we have no choice, we’ll have to send someone in. if they took him hostage ,,,,,,,,, doyoung is going to make sure we get him back.”

the look of pain turns almost malicious as mark straightens up

“yes, yes. he’ll be there? ok. ill inform jaehyun and doyoung, see what mr. jung wants us to do.”

you feel uncomfortable for eavesdropping, but the copying room is small - even if you didn’t want to hear, you didn’t much have a choice

mark stuffs his phone back into his pocket, hand on his forehead as if he’s lost in thought

he then looks up at you and puts his hand out

“you’re going to have to come with me.”

you find yourself following mark downstairs

past the offices and past the first floor receptionist, you’re going into what you can only assume is the basement of the building

it’s dark at first, and there’s a door with a touch sensored lock on it

mark presses his palm to it and tries to say that everything is ok to lighten up the terrified look on your face

it doesn’t work

especially when the door opens and you step behind him into a room illuminated by only a red light

the walls decorated in photos of shady looking people, weapons of all sizes lined up in cages, and two sectioned off tables

at one end is jaehyun, feet up on the table - stacks of money spread out in front of him

“jaehyun, we have a problem”

mark starts and jaehyun shifts, getting up he looks at you as if you’ve done something bad

but mark shakes his head, reading his train thought

“no,,,,it’s ,,,,,, it’s got to do with jungwoo.”

doyoung is brought down and briefed on the situation

apparently a deal that was made with some underground thai faction went sour

they were supposed to help jungwoo get into thailand with no problems, of course smuggling across a couple of very illegal and very sought after valuables

but instead of helping, they’d taken him hostage and were demanding the jungs pay a hefty price,,,,,,,,or else

you avert your eyes when mark explains that this can be deadly

but you do curiously take a peek at doyoung

but again

nothing

aren’t they close? not even the prospect of jungwoo being in danger can make him show any sort of reaction?

instead, doyoung adjusts his blazer and crosses his arms over his chest

“so who is going to be sent to retrieve him?”

jaehyun paces back and forth, “jungwoo is too valuable of an asset to lose. my dad will agree with this. i think we should send sicheng and-”

“they took him in thailand right?”

doyoung finally speaks and all eyes in the room turn to him

“send me. ive never done a job like this and the people in thailand won’t know who i am.”

mark shakes his head, “that’s too risky, you were pretty famous before you joined -”

“i was famous in south korea, maybe japan and even america. but no one in thailand cares about me. plus, i can wear a simple disguise.”

jaehyun seems to be considering this, but his lips pull into a thin line

“and what about -”

he jerks his head in your direction and you stiffen

“they’ll come with me. we’ll go undercover to thailand like a couple of an engagement trip. no one will suspect us.”

wait what?

you turn your attention back to doyoung who doesn’t seem to even be thinking about what he’s just implied.

you doing an undercover mission with him? the deal was you’d just be another intern as long as you kept your mouth shut - not working directly for the jung family?

but you can’t bring yourself to argue, you just hope jaehyun can read the look on your face or at least mark

but both of them once again look like they’re actual considering this.

you have to figure out a way to protest this, to get some sense knocked into everyone, to remind them that you’re just a-

“they’re a regular person, it’ll make our undercover operation impossible to unearth.”

if you could, you’d slide down the seat you’re sitting in and refuse to come out until they all agreed that sending you to thailand with doyoung to save jungwoo from a bunch of dangerous goons isn’t the best idea

but jaehyun signs off on it

he motions with his hand for you and doyoung to go off and get ready, while instructing mark to set up plane and hotel arrangements

before you know it, you’re following doyoung to the garage and getting to a car with him

“w-what is going on?”

you finally manage to ask as doyoung puts one hand on the steering wheel and stares straightforward without even tilting his head to acknowledge you

“im sorry to get you tightly wound up in this, but you chose me to protect you. i promise to do just that, but for now - you’ll have to deal with helping me out on my job.”

“i thought your job was head of marketing - i thought you were just updated on these things, not that you’d take part in them!”

your voice shakes as you raise it - but doyoung doesn’t even blink

“that is true, most of the time i simply help out with strategy and figures. but they have jungwoo and im convinced if we send any of the other men, they’ll be found out. this is the safest way for us to get him back.”

you open your mouth, but you catch something flash across doyoung’s face as he speaks about jungwoo

it’s a look of,,,,,,,,,,of failure?

“now, im going to drive you home. get your things ready in an hour.”

he starts the car and you decide you have to drop the subject, there’s no way you’re going to get out of this

great, looks like im now not an intern but an accomplice in something that’s probably not going to look good on my record if we get caught!

doyoung waits in your living room as you try to pack, muttering to yourself that thailand is going to be super hot and you don’t even remember where you packed away your summer clothes

for the first time since he’s been staying here, you see doyoung come into your bedroom

looking around with a hint of annoyance in the twitch of his lip

“what is taking so long?”

“it’s just all of my winter clothes are out, i think my summer stuff is in storage so-”

doyoung turns on his heel before you can finish your sentence

“nevermind that, follow me.”

you do as your told, trying to tell doyoung that you haven’t managed to pack anything yet

but he ignores you, picks your keys up for you and ushers you out the door

he drives downtown, unphased by the questioning look on your face, before pulling up to the mall

he parks, all the while saying absolutely nothing, and makes his way toward the doors

you try to ask where you’re going, but doyoung doesn’t waste his breath

just goes into whatever store he sees fit, pulls you in front of him and toward one of the sales associates

who tries to say her rehearsed greeting but doyoung cuts right in

“we’re going on a trip. it’s a warm place. please choose some clothing for them.”

he hands you off to the associate who looks just as confused and startled as you do

before he takes a seat and pulls out that little black notepad

you don’t even get as much as a squeak in before you’re being corralled into a fitting room with piles on piles of clothing

all of which you don’t think you’d ever be able to afford

but when you pick out a couple of things, doyoung instructs you to just give them to the cashier

before slapping down a gold card and then motioning to one of the duffel bags on display

“that too, and if you’d be kind enough just put them inside that bag.”

the cashier starts off by telling him the price, but doyoung shakes a hand

“it doesn’t matter, just please be quick.”

you stare at the receipt for what must seem like hours

rereading the number in your head and gawking at it

as doyoung drives back to the jung offices and meets mark back in the basement

mark slides over to fake passports, a pair of plane tickets, and a bottle of what looks like bleach

you start thinking about one hundred different reasons as to why you’d need bleach

when doyoung picks it up

“ill go do it before the trip.”

mark nods and you look between them

when doyoung is gone, you look to mark and ask him what the bleach is for

to which you only get a small laugh in reply

“you’ll see.”

it takes a while for doyoung to return, mark stays with you and you chat a bit

when you decide that this might be your chance to ask what you’ve been thinking for a while now

“do,,,do you know why doyoung joined the jungs?”

mark gives you a bit of a half-nod

“you’re wondering why a natural born genius would need to work for what essentially are gangster, right?”

“yeah,,,,i just i remember seeing him all over tv. a chess champion, a mathematician, it just seemed like he was going to use his intelligence for good ,,,,,”

you play with the fake passport, opening it and looking at the photo of you

the fake name and fake address

“well,,,,we all have our reasons for working for mr. jung. i can’t personally talk about doyoungs,,,,,,but sometimes being a kid genius isn’t the best way to grow up.”

mark shrugs and you hear the door open

doyoung is back, but you nearly fall from your seat when you see what he looks like

his thick, black hair always neat and proper has been dyed a solid bleach blonde

the bangs hang in his eyes, unkempt and almost intentionally messy

the striking color brings out the narrow, handsome features of his face and the darkness of his eyes

he was handsome before - you admit that, but now he looks like a character from a manhwa

you can barely pick your jaw up after it dropped, but once again - true to doyoungs style - he acts like this is nothing

he grabs the passport, bids mark a farewell after letting him now he’ll be in touch when you land

and he snaps his fingers, to let you know it’s time to go

im not a dog, don’t treat me like one! you think, still too nervous to really object to anything doyoung says or does out loud

but still you step in line behind him

at the airport is when your real anxieties sink in

these are fake passports, will your face give away the fact that you’re hiding something, how are you and doyoung supposed to act like a couple if he’s never even once shown any kind of emotion related to affection?

the questions make you dizzy and as you get closer to the ticketor you think you might just pass out

she greets you when you two approach, doyoung handing her the passports casually and placing your duffel bag on the scale beside her

“ah, a thailand trip - so nice to get out of this cold weather~”

she says and you can’t think of an answer, but you should because doyoung hasn’t been the best at making normal conversation -

but then doyoung’s poker face breaks and he smiles at her

actually,,,,,,,,,,,,,smiles

“yes, me and my fiancee can’t wait to get there!”

fiancee?

she sheepishly smiles back, tells you two to enjoy the weather, and hands back the passport

no qualms, no problems, no questions

and doyoung’s own acting,,,,,,,leaves you more stunned than anyone else

the flight there is short and you get nestled into the hotel mark booked without any slip-ups

everything is going smoothly

the only thing out of whack is doyoung,,,,,,,,,,who has not stopped smiling at flight attendants and hotel concierge

and who’d even made a dad joke with another couple on the plane over

who is this person? did the bleach rearrange his brain?

you think, before scolding yourself - no he’s just pretending to be normal, this is part of the undercover ploy

once alone in the room, doyoung opens the duffel bag and dumps your clothing onto the bed - beneath it are a couple of tech devices and doyoung gets to work on setting them up

taking his phone out to call jaehyun and let him know that you two have arrived safely

you start folding the clothes, remembering that doyoung has a bit of a quirk with messes

and even though you don’t want to listen to what they say, once again, you can’t really help it

“we’re here. everything is set up. do you know where they’ll be?”

jaehyun’s voice comes over the phone

“according to intel the same group that has jungwoo operates out of the hotel’s casino. you should be able to get a view on them when you go there tonight. ill send over photos of who to look out for.”

you places the clothes neatly into one of the empty drawers and notice how doyoung keeps tapping his finger against his knee

“i think we’ll keep our distance for now, but it’ll be good for me to know their faces. has their been any news on jungwoo?”

it’s silent for a moment and the whole room feels still

“,,,,,,,they won’t release any information on him so we think he might be in serious trouble.”

you bite back your lip, you don’t know much about jungwoo personally but it still hurts to think of what could be happening to him right now

doyoung doesn’t ask anything else, he just tells jaehyun that he’ll keep him posted and hangs up

you finish with unpacking and sit on the bed - doyoung gets up and checks the time

“the casino opens for business at around nine, we should get ready and have dinner before then.”

the hotel you’re staying at is grand, it’s more like a resort than anything else and as you and doyoung walk through it

you’re distracted trying to get a glimpse of everything

doyoung doesn’t really take particular care in any of that, he fiddles with his cuff link and then stops you before going into the casino

he offers his arm and you stare at it

“we have to give off the appearance that we are engaged, please hold onto me.”

you tremble a bit when you do as your told, but doyoung is calm and unaffected

the casino is bustling, even though it’s just opened and doyoung scans the room for any familiar faces

he seemingly spots a group of men clustered around the in-house bar and smoothly leads you over too

he doesn’t get too close - maybe five or six seats away and he orders a drink

turning to you, you notice that some of his hair has gone out of place so you reach up to fix it

doyoung puts a hand casually on your waist

and you try hard not to peek over his shoulder to see if the group of men are watching you

“don’t look that way, it’ll make us seem suspicious.”

you nod and thank the bartender when he slides a glass over to you

doyoung doesn’t touch it, instead he nudges it toward you, but you’re so nervous you think alcohol will only make it worse

“takes small sips and talk to me.”

doyoung instructs and you hold the glass as you try to think of something to say

“um,,,,did it hurt?”

“what?”

you motion to his hair and he shakes his head

“no.”

“do you like how it looks?”

“i don’t particularly care.”

yeah, great conversation.

you look around and watch all of the other people or a bit, bringing the glass to your lips and only sipping the smallest amount

everyone else looks so relaxed

they’re here on fun trips with family or friends, unaware of anything bad in their lives

you think of jungwoo for a split second - when you feel doyoung grab a hold of your wrist

“one of them is coming over, be natural.”

you blink, putting the drink down before a man finds his way over to you and doyoung

“excuse me, but i couldn’t help but overhear - are you two speaking in korean?”

doyoung plasters that smile on his face, oddly charming in its own way

“why yes, we’re here for vacation. an engagement gift from my parents.”

the man gives a slightly flustered look

“so young you two and already engaged?”

doyoung takes your hand and brings it up to his lips, kissing the skin gently

you smile too, but you can feel your pulse quicken

“we may be young, but i know this person is the love of my life.”

doyoung looks over at you, dark cold brown eyes suddenly full of warmth and adoration

“i don’t want anyone else getting their hands on them.”

the man gives a jolly laugh, you note that he’s stocky - wearing multiple golden rings on one hand and his friends from his group watch your interactions like a hawk

“well i can’t just say my goodbyes without giving my congratulations - “

he waves down the bartender and tells him that whatever you and doyoung put on the tab tonight will be on him

he gives doyoung a hard pat on the shoulder

“enjoy your youth, and happy marriage to the both of you!”

he exclaims, throwing a wink your way and picking your hand up to shake before returning to his circle

you swallow a small lump in your throat and doyoung turns to you

“how kind of him!”

but his eyes have gone dark again

“let’s go play a couple of games of cards in case they decide to tail us.”

he adds in a lower voice, leading you to a table where a game of blackjack is about to commence

you and doyoung sort of just mingle around, pretending to chat like a regular couple, partaking in games here and there

before doyoung signals that it’s time to go

when you get back to the hotel room, doyoung rushes to lock the door and shut the windows

he switches on the bathroom light and immediately contacts jaehyun

“how was it?”

“slightly off-putting, one of the men spoke to us at the casino. do you think that’s cause for alarm?”

jaehyun says something and you can’t hear it because doyoung shuts the door

you sit back down on the bed and sigh - everything is so weird, everything feels so on edge

you’re being tugged between lying and pretending to being completely ignored by doyoung and it just

it messes with you, even though you really wish it wouldn’t

maybe half an hour later doyoung opens the door and starts quietly moving around the room, undoing his tie and switching on the desk lamp

pulling out that small black book

you look down at your hands, thinking about the kiss doyoung placed on them - thinking about doyoungs hand in yours

and then you narrow your eyes

“do,,,doyoung -”

you start and you hear his pen stop moving

“if we’re supposed to be,,,,engaged,,,,,,,,,why don’t we have rings on?”

doyoung stands up so fast you think it shakes the room -

“shit”

he curses and your eyes widen - the first change in tone you’ve heard from him in a while

“did the man at the casino look at your hand?”

“y-yes he shook it when he was leaving.”

doyoung puts a hand on his forehead

“that’s not good. our cover might already be blown, ill have to arrange to fix that.”

and with that he’s putting his tie back on, and in a matter of minutes he’s gone

and you’re alone ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, you lay back against the bed

tired and a little bit frightened, since this whole mess started you’d never been left alone, doyoung was always somewhere near

this was the first time he’d gone off without you

then again, he was probably sure you wouldn’t run off. you where in another country, had no money, and where at his whim.

you curl up into a small ball, the fogginess of the hard day taking over your mind

why did this happen to me? i just wanted to live a regular life,,,,,,,,,,

you wake up groggy, wincing at the sudden sunlight that hits your face

looks like you’d fallen asleep and doyoung had returned, opening the windows in the meantime

and when you roll over you don’t see him anywhere

only a box sitting on the table side drawer with a note beneath it

‘wear it immediately’

it says and you open the box, stopping mid yawn to see a beautiful silver band

you stare at it,,,,,,,,,,,touching it and then recoiling your hand

he must have got these when he left last night, but where is he now?

you put the box down carefully and roam around the spacious room - but no sign of doyoung is to be seen

you look at the desk where he’d last been and the notebook is there

the one he always jots notes down as well as a file folder

it’s simple, but it has a label on it and you’re surprised to read your own name across it beside the number 000127

doyoung isn’t around so you carefully open it, wondering if there’s something inside about this secret undercover operation

but it’s not

it’s just

pages and pages of notes

you gasp softly, because the notes are all about you

from what foods doyoung has noticed you like, to your habits in the office

what is this? some kind of log about me?

you don’t understand, is jaehyun asking doyoung to keep such close tabs on me? i really didn’t think it was that serious?

you put the file down and your eyes hover over the small notebook

“don’t tell me -”

you reach out, but can’t bring yourself to touch it

and just in the nick of time you hear the sound of the soft beep of the hotel room unlocking

and you only manage to hurry back to the bed with a second

doyoung comes in,,,,,,,,,,,,,dressed in beige slacks and a colorful short-sleeve shirt

he’s got sandals on and sunglasses perched on the top of his head

he looks like the epitome of resort chic

and the exact opposite of prim, proper, always business ready doyoung back at the jung offices

the first thing he does is look at the box beside you and your hand

“why isn’t your ring on?”

you shakily open it and slip on the accessory quickly

doyoung just gives an affirmative nod and doubles around the bed to the windows

“i think for the next couple of days we’re going to be tailed,,,,,,,,,,so we need to act as normal as we can.”

“is there any news about jungwoo?”

doyoung keeps looking out the window, hands in his pockets, before he turns around

“they sent photos to jaehyun. he’s alive, but they’re getting impatient.”

he opens one of the drawers and pulls out your clothes - he drops them on the bed and motions to the shower

“when you’re finished, we’ll have breakfast.”

the following three days are full of what seems like normal resort like activities

you and doyoung have meals at the restaurants on the hotels premise

sunbathe by the pool and spend time near the ocean

doyoung even insists on taking you to the on-sight souvenir shop and throws out the fake names of your friends back home to buy little trinkets for

all the while initiating casual skinship and dropping pet names that nearly make you fluster every time

he makes sure that you two come off as any other couple staying at the resort - but you can tell he’s also constantly aware of who is around you

one evening he decides to go back to the casino, in hopes of making one last grand gesture of you and his “normal couples vacation” right in front of the suspected faction members

the same group of men is there as they’d been on the first day and doyoung gives a small greeting to the man who spoke to you back then

he comes over and asks how your vacation is going

it all seems wonderful until he asks

“and so, you speak so highly of your partner - what is it that made you fall in love with them?”

he asks doyoung, and you tense

how is he going to answer this, we barely even know one and other?

but doyoung doesn’t falter, not even a bit

he pulls you close by the waist

“why, where do i even start? i met them at this coffee shop - they’re so picky they spent ten minutes picking out a dessert. cutely talking to themselves. i was mesmerized with them, and the more we went on dates the more i learned about how deeply empathetic and hardworking they are. what could i want more, than someone who understands my emotions. who works with me. who loves everything about me and who i trust with my life.”

doyoung looks deeply into your eyes as he recites a bunch of your tiny quirks, all the little details about you

and if you hadn’t known better, you would believe that he was looking at someone he truly felt that strongly for

“i adore them, i realized i would die for them if i had to so - i wanted to make the promise of my life.”

doyoung picks your hand up, flashes the ring and then leans in - kisses you

really, really kisses you

and looks back at the man

who for a second twitches between a frown and a smile, before settling on a grin and nodding

he looks totally convinced!

you think and he says something along the lines of how beautiful it is to see young people in love

with that he turns back and you feel as if the wind has been knocked straight out of you

who knew doyoung even had a grasp on such a range of emotions? is this the same person who watched a movie with you absolutely silently - the same person who didn’t react when being told his closest associate was being held hostage?!?!?!

after another twenty minutes of hanging around, doyoung puts a hand on the small of your back and leads you out

as you two are hurrying back to the room he whispers against your ear

“they’re going to keep watching us, but i think they’re less suspicious now. there’s only one last thing we have to do and im,,,,,”

he pauses

“what, what is it?”

“it might be uncomfortable and i feel like an animal asking you to bear with it, but we have to put on this one last show,,,”

he casts his eyes downward and it takes a moment for you to register what he means

you put your fingers up to your mouth and can’t stand the increase of your heartbeat and the heat that creeps up your neck

“you mean,,,”

“yes - just a little bit, so they’ll believe we’re really together.”

you take in a deep breath, as you two get closer to your suite doyoung stops and ducks you two into a corner between two of the hotel buildings

you feel your back up against the wall and you look up to see doyoung has covered you almost completely with his frame

“i know i have asked a lot of you, and that you picked me to protect you and all ive done is use you to help my own means - but this will be the last time -”

you don’t let him finish, you know that this is for show and that in the long run it will help doyoung get to jungwoo

so you put your hands around his neck and tug him in close

you keep thinking of what he said back in the casino

“i adore them, i realized i would die for them”

those are such romantic, heartfelt words and you would be beyond happy to hear them from someone

you press your lips to doyoungs, letting yourself fall into this fantasy

that you’re not kissing someone who is just pretending to love you, that you’re kissing someone who does

and you can’t tell what doyoung is feeling or thinking

but he’s absolutely on the verge of falling apart

he holds you, close and hungry, because the truth is doyoung has never had the chance to feel so alive

he was born a genius, grew up being paraded around for his talents and hailed by adults for his intellectual abilities

everyone who ever showed interest in him

showed interest in his brain, how he thinks, how fast he can solve a problem

no one had ever allowed him to express anything above rational, accurate answers

he’d never had the door opened to relationships with others, from freindships to romance

so this overwhelming feeling of your body pressed against his - it drives him crazy

and he can tell you’re still shaking, still worried about everything he’s had to put you through

but you’re being strong and brave by helping him out, even when you have nothing to gain

so he apologizes to you in his mind, a thousand times over

as his hands take hold of your hips and he brings you flush up against him

small hums against your mouth, quick parted breathes as he kisses you with a passion that’s been locked away for most of his life

neither of you can control your bodies natural reaction, the low groan of his when you trail your lips down his neck

his hand coming down to grasp your thigh, hitch it around his waist as you moan into another kiss

his name comes out of your mouth and doyoung thinks this is what its like to see stars

by this point, it should be enough to convince anyone that what’s going on between you two is real

and that’s partially because in the moment it is - it really is

and when doyoung finally breaks away from you, his mind lashing out on him

you’re using them! how could you do that?!

you stare at him because for the first time he’s the one that is shaking, eyes big like a doe

you feel as if you should ask him if he’s ok, but there’s not much to say after what just happened

just that you and doyoung need to get back to your room and hope that this makes everything easier in the morning

which it does, from the operations stand point of view

jaehyun calls doyoung with information about where he could possibly find jungwoo

and when doyoung scans the perimeters outside your room there’s no suspicious people

no feeling of being watched

you managed to convince them that you and doyoung are nothing but two young people in love

but on the other hand,,,,,,,,,,all you’ve done is make everything more confusing between you both

doyoung is fixing his watch, tinkering with some sort of recording device that he’s built into it

when you ask

“what you said yesterday, about all the reasons you fell in love with me,,,,,,,,,were they all things you got from my file?”

he turns to you, putting down the watch

“how do you know about the file?”

“you left it on the desk and i happened,,,,,,,to read it.”

instead of being angry, or telling you with some sort of deadpan arrogance that you shouldn’t touch his stuff

doyoung just tells you that yes, he did just list off habits he’d recorded in the file and then asks why you seem to want to know

“why,,,,,why did you write all those observations down about me.”

you pull your knees up to your chin as you sit on the bed

you don’t look him in the eyes, but you don’t feel like you’re the one in the vulnerable position here

“because you’re the first person ive been close to who is seemingly,,,,,,,,regular.”

“but,,,,,you work with regular people. the people who work in marketing with you aren’t involved with the jungs.”

“that’s true, but they are not ,,,,,,,,, they are not interesting. you are a regular person, who has an emotional and physical stake in your relationship with me- well,,,,,,,with everyone who works for mr. jung.”

patiently you wait for some other explanation

there has to be more than just the fact that you’re a normal person - normal enough to be studied like some kind of test subject

but doyoung says nothing more on the matter

and you can’t pinpoint what about that makes you feel so ill

“do you think ,,,,,, what you said about me ,,,, are those things someone could actually fall in love with?”

the questions from you are all real, you just want to know - how someone like doyoung could take what he wrote down about you and put it so elegantly

make you and everyone in the room believe that he could feel these things he’d never shown any hint of having

but to him, the questions are like poisoned darts sinking deeper and deeper into a wall he’s put up since he was a child

and suddenly he’s on the bed too, coming closer to you, pulling you up toward him

“i don’t think you understand how very lucky you are.”

“doyoung what-”

“the fact that you have all of these things about you,,,,,all of these unique quirks different to all normal people, that you can feel so strongly, react so vibrantly - how i wish i could understand all of that.”

you were scared at first, but now you just feel pity - what mark had said about doyoung growing up as a child genius, was that the reason he was so ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, closed off?

“im sorry that you weren’t allowed to be normal.”

you start and doyoung’s eyes go big again

“i don’t know what it’s like to grow up with all that responsibility on your shoulders - to have the world look at you as something other than a child with hopes and dreams. but i just,,,,,,,i just think that there’s more to you.”

he lets you go and sinks a little bit

his shoulders sag and it’s as if he’s gone from the strong, stoic man he’s been around you this whole time

to nothing more than wilted flower

“sometimes i hate that i was born with this gift, that i look at things logically, that i can never act on my emotions like all other humans do.”

“but you do.”

he looks up, his hair is in his face and he looks a little unkept

“i know we were just pretending in front of all of those people - but even if it was fake, for you to take notice of me like that and to say things that are so full of raw emotion - you have it in you doyoung,,,,,,,,,you can really love someone-”

your voice is cut off by the sound of the phone ringing

doyoung picks it up and he reverts back to his usual self

eyes dark and serious, shoulder straight

when the call is over he waits a moment before telling you

“they now where jungwoo is.”

you tell doyoung that you must go with him, you’ve gone along with him for this whole trip, he can’t just leave you behind now

doyoung explains that this is the dangerous part - the part where someone can get killed

but you shake your head, “i didn’t like it when you left me alone in that hotel room the first time. im not letting you do it again.”

doyoung racks his brain for some kind of response, all the logical ones point to arguing against you

forcing you to stay behind

but somehow you end up by his side, outside of what looks like a shed near the back of the casino

at first, you can’t believe that they’d hide a hostage so close to a hotel full of bustling people

but doyoung says they’re not, they’re hiding him underneath that shed - probably even underneath the casino

you wince, thinking about jungwoo tied up and starved in some murky basement

at least the jungs were kind enough not to do that to me,,,,although am i hostage?

you shake the thought out of your head as doyoung comes close to the shed - picking apart the lock faster than you can blink

the inside looks absolutely normal

there’s equipment inside for the casino tables and stacks of poker chips, nothing out of the ordinary

but doyoung is observational and catches on to the one creaking plank beneath your feet

he pushes back his bangs, and then grips something hidden in the belt of his jeans

you see it, a silver handgun, and you pray that there won’t be any use for it

as quietly as he can manage, he pulls the plank up and reveals a secret door

it’s narrow, you can’t imagine that stocky man from the casino slipping trough, but doyoung has no trouble

and as you follow behind him, you’re greeted with a completely new room under the floorboards

the fluorescent light in it is blinding and it looks like a hospital ward more than anything else

there are a couple of cots set up and on one of them is the familiar figure of jungwoo

he’s unconscious, but you can see the small rise of his chest

you want to gasp, tears stinging at the corner of your eyes, but you don’t want to make any noise

and doyoung is cautious before approaching the body

as you and doyoung work on getting the cuffs off of jungwoo’s arms and feet, you hear a noise

you are about to warn doyoung, but it’s too late

and before you know it three people have dropped down from the open floor

and there are three guns pointed blankly at you and doyoung

you freeze, the blood in your body goes cold, and you can feel jungwoo waking up only slightly

moving gingerly against his cuffs

doyoung is standing beside his head, his fingers are still snared between the cuffs, but to your surprise they’re loose enough that you think jungwoo could slip his hands through

but you’re distracted by one of the men suddenly making a statement

“ah,,,,,aren’t you the young couple the boss talked to in the casino?”

doyoung doesn’t answer and you keep as quiet as a mouse

“what, no conversation for me? that’s fine, the boss will get here soon and you can answer to him -”

doyoung shifts a bit and shakes his head, putting on that fake smile

“oh really? i’d love to speak with him.”

you try to hide your expression of confusion, but then you see it

doyoung twists his hips just enough out of view that it covers jungwoo’s upper half

you take a risk and move from jungwoo’s legs up toward doyoung

you stand right at his side, shielding more of jungwoo from view

as you pretend to cower at his side

“honey,,,,please - tell them we don’t mean any trouble”

one of the men cocks his gun and points it at you

doyoung tenses, you feel it as his arms flex where you’re holding him

but he plays along

“it’s ok baby, the boss will get here and sort it all out.”

you barely hear it, but in a moment you sense doyoung let out a small breath

jungwoo slips his hands from the cuffs and snatches the gun from doyoung’s side

in a matter of seconds he yells for you and doyoung to duck

and when you down, opens three clean shots out onto the men

they all fall, guns clattering to the ground and you turn to help jungwoo finish undoing the cuffs on his feet

doyoung helps as well

and jungwoo is a little bit woozy on his feet - but enough for him to make it past those men with you and doyoung

and up toward the open hatch

you think they must all be dead

jungwoo’s marksmen shooting was spot on - but as you run past their still bodies

someone’s hand shoots out and you turn, just in time for him to get a hold on the gun

and point it up - at you

you close your eyes, ready for impact, ready to take this shot - but it doesn’t happen

instead, you feel doyoung’s arms wrap around you

the bullet brushes into his shoulder and lodges there

and the blood spills down his arm

you freeze, but doyoung clenches his teeth and urges you to get out after jungwoo

who pulls you and doyoung up

you only have maybe five minutes before you’re sure more goons will come running, so you three book it out of there

you must look absolutely insane to passerby’s

but the adrenline gets you all out of there and to your shock, just as you all barrell out of the hotels gates

a car pulls up, sleek and red

the window rolls down and another person pokes his head out

he grins, pearly white

“im ten. jaehyun told me to get you all.”

he tilts his head and looks at doyoung’s bleeding shoulder

“try not to get too much of that on my leather seats.”

jungwoo flings open the car door and all of you pile into the back

you immediately turn to doyoung and press your hand over his where the bullet is

“are you ok? does it hurt badly?”

doyoung’s eyes slowly begin to glaze over and he drops his head into the crook of your neck

you panic, begging this ten person to get you to a doctor

he waves off your concern, “a shoulder injury isn’t lethal!”

you want to snipe at him, but jungwoo puts a hand on your shoulder

“he’ll be ok”

but then he sort of stammers over his own words

“i just,,,i never thought he’d jump in front of a bullet to save anyone.”

ten pulls up to a condominium where doyoung is treated by a doctor and jungwoo is given his first hot meal in a week

you sit, dazed and confused by everything that’s happened, before ten joins you

“i hear you got tangled up with the jungs, how’s that going for you?”

you think he must be joking and when he chuckles you realize he is

“still, you must be one brave person to accompany the guys who work for him on such a job. are you maybe,,,,”

he leans in close to you

“in a special relationship with one of them?”

you refuse the thought the instant he comes out of ten’s mouth, but he just thinks that’s even more hilarious and continues to prod

“so which one, doyoung or jungwoo? which one is it?”

he looks down at the ring on your finger and the sly grin only grows wider

“woah, isn’t doyoung wearing the same one?”

you want to explain to him that this is a misunderstanding

but the shadow of someone towers over ten and you both look up to see that it’s doyoung

his sleeve has been cut off and his arm is bandaged, dry blood sticking to it

you get up, asking in the same breath one hundred questions till he just says

“im ok, how are you?”

ten looks between you two and excuses himself, says he should let lovers be alone

you grind your teeth, but your more important focus is doyoung

jungwoo is right, why did he jump in front of a bullet that was heading right for you?

doyoung seems to know that’s what you’re thinking

so he sits you down and tries to put together a coherent reason

but the thing is

he really can’t think of one,,,,,,or at least he can’t think of one that sounds like an excuse for why he knows he really did it

“you asked me,,,back in the hotel room if the things i observed about you are things that someone could actually fall in love with.”

“yes, but what-”

“i think,,,”

he starts and stops himself, because this is all new - this is all different for him

he needs time

“i think,,,,,,those things about you - they’re very much lovable and very much worth protecting which is why,,,,,,”

he wants to bring up his hand to run through his hair, but the pain from his wound makes him wince

you come closer, touching him gently and just that sends a shock wave through his body

unfamiliar, but not unwelcome

“which is why i took that bullet. i couldn’t bare the thought of you losing any of those habits, of losing you.”

this sounds like a confession of feelings, but you can never be sure with him

so you decide that the best way to know is to be straightforward, to be logical just like he always is

“does that mean,,,,,,,,,,you like me?”

doyoung’s eyes flash for a moment, but he tilts his head

“all of my reasoning points to that answer. yes. i do like you.”

you resist the urge to smile a little

“oh,,,,,,,,well”

“do you like me too?”

coming from him, you can’t believe it sounds so childishly cute and innocent

“i will admit, the whole keeping a file on me thing was a little weird but im going to assume you were just trying to understand me - right?”

doyoung plays with his fingers and looks shamefully down

“yes,,,i just i have never really-”

“shhh shhh,,,,,,,what im saying is yes doyoung i like you too. in a weird way, this whole trip - this experience with you has made me understand that deep down you’re not some emotionless person. you’re a person who feels a lot and just has never had the chance to express it.”

he looks stunned - and you’re proud to say that you’ve stumped one of the smartest man in all of south korea

but on the other hand none of that matters

what matters is that you want to be a person who will help doyoung discover this side of himself

because it’s been locked away, stunted from growing since he was a child

doyoung stands up and you follow him as he leads you into the room where he’d been treated

he closes the door and you stare at him, blonde hair a mess, clothes a mess, blood on his jeans and on his knuckles

nothing like the doyoung you met for the first time back at jung enterprises

he comes closer, you bite back your lip but let him places his hands back on your hips

“since we both like each other, can i re-do the kiss from before?”

he breathes against your neck

you close your eyes, nod and feel doyoung unleash what he’s been holding back for so long

after all of that, jaehyun contacts doyoung and tells him that the trip back is all set up

it’s on the plane back to seoul where you finally ask doyoung what’s been on your mind

“why did you join the jungs?”

“what better job is there for someone whose been conditioned to be emotionless than illegal work?”

you agree, but now he’s not the same person as before - does that mean he wants to continue working for them?

he looks to the side, where jungwoo is fast asleep

the superficial scars are small on his face, but he’s worn out and still malnourished from the week of starvation

“i don’t think i can leave this job right now, will that make it hard for you to be with me?”

you touch the ring that you’re still wearing, doyoung is still wearing it too

“i just think you could use your mind for better things - for medical discoveries or helping others ,,,,, it’s a shame you have to use it working for people like that.”

he leans in, and you’re shocked when doyoung places a fluttering kiss to your lips

“you make me want to be a better person and i want to do all of those great things you believe im capable of, but it’ll take time - will you be there by my side?”

you think that if you can survive an undercover rescue operation for the jung family, you can stand by doyoung’s side through anything

that being said you’re not sure how the rest of the office is going to take a romantic relationship between you and him

but when you get back home - everyone is crowded around in your tiny apartment

everyone from jaehyun to taeyong to taeil

and when you and doyoung come in holding hands

mark nearly faints and jungwoo goes

“yeah i know, i can’t believe it either.”

let’s just say it takes some getting used to, but it’s worth it because each day doyoung becomes more and more his true self

and even jungwoo picks up on a smiling habit

and maybe not right now, but in the future you know he’s destined for better things and you’ll be there to help him see those goals through

#nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct au #doyoung scenarios #doyoung imagines #doyoung au #nct 127 scenarios #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 au #member: doyoung #regular au #blood/#weapons/#who am i? who wrote this? that k*** scene? shaggy......it was not me!

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angelofthequeers · 5 years

Text

Hold Me By Both Hands: Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don’t own ML.

Chapter 4 | Chapter 6 | AO3 link

“Nino, Sabrina, and Kim,” Ms Bustier calls.

“What?” Chloé snaps. “Ridiculous! Utterly ridiculous! Everyone knows that Sabrina and I always work together!”

“Well, I thought that it could be fun to assign you group members for this exercise that you might not ordinarily work with,” Ms Bustier says. “Our next group will be Adrien –”

Marinette crosses her fingers.

“– Lila, and Marinette.”

Yes! Finally, Marinette’s put in a group with Adrien! Even the fact that their third member is Lila, who’s shown a definite interest in Adrien, isn’t enough to taint her sheer elation.

“And that leaves Juleka, Max, and Chloé,” Ms Bustier says. “Now, I’ll assign you all your English exercises, and the first group to successfully complete all of them will get a little sweet treat!”

Everyone immediately starts shuffling around to form their groups. Since they’re only sitting a desk apart, Marinette and Adrien wait for Lila to come down to them from the back.

“I’m so happy that I’m working with you two!” Lila says, sliding into Nino’s vacated seat. Drat, why didn’t Marinette think to take that seat first? “And it’s so great to finally talk to you for real, Adrien! I haven’t gotten the chance to introduce myself since last week. I’m Lila!”

“Nice to officially meet you!” Adrien shakes Lila’s hand, then turns to Marinette. “The bench is wide enough for all three of us, Marinette. Why don’t you come sit down here? It’ll be easier to work together that way.”

“What a great idea!” Lila rests her hand on Adrien’s arm. “You’re so considerate, Adrien!”

Adrien’s inviting Marinette to sit with him? And Lila, sure, but with him? Marinette practically floats down to his table, where he shuffles over so that she can slip onto the end of the bench and he’s sandwiched between her and Lila. Oh. Gosh. She’s touching his arm. His warm skin! This is a dream come true!

“Exercise first what?” she babbles. “I mean – what’s our first exercise?”

Adrien pulls his worksheet towards him. “We have to translate these sentences into English.”

“Oh, this’ll be easy!” Lila says. “I studied English at Harvard when we were in America! Of course, they don’t accept children, but one of the professors just took such a liking to me that he simply had to teach me!”

Marinette’s eye twitches. Again with the lies! What’s this girl’s problem? At least Adrien looks just as disbelieving, if only politer about it.

“How about you do this first set of exercises, then?” Adrien says. “Marinette and I can work on translating these English sentences into French in the meantime.”

“Oh!” Lila’s eyes widen. “I’m so sorry, I really would, but I sprained my wrist the other day! You know, when Alya took me to watch the fight against Green Giant! I can’t write in case I make it worse…I’m ever so grateful that I was partnered with you, Adrien!”

“But your wrist was fine just before! And Miraculous Ladybug fixes everything!” Marinette says. No way is Lila getting her claws into Adrien! That niceness last week really had been an act!

“I…didn’t want to ask for help,” Lila sighs, drooping. “I was afraid to inconvenience anyone. But since we have to do these worksheets together, I thought…no, it’s okay. I understand if I’m being too troublesome.”

“That’s not what I said at all!” Marinette resists the urge to slam her forehead into the table.

“Um –” Adrien tries to say.

“In fact, it might be better if I just work by myself,” Lila continues. “You and Adrien seem like such good friends…I’d hate to come between you –”

“I didn’t say that!” Marinette says. “You don’t have to work by yourself!”

“I’m sure Marinette’s just concerned for you and wants to make sure she’s got the information right,” Adrien says with a pacifying smile.

“Oh!” Lila beams. “That’s so considerate of you, Marinette! Would you mind filling out my worksheet for me? Only if you’re okay with it, of course!”

What can Marinette do? If she says yes, Lila wins. But if she says no, she looks like a raging bitch in front of Adrien! Eventually deciding that it’s better in the long run to give Lila this little victory, Marinette pastes on her sweetest smile and pulls Lila’s worksheet towards her.

“I think this sentence says, “I would like to buy a pair of blue pants”,” Adrien says, frowning down at his sheet. “But my professional lessons are in Mandarin, not English, so I’m pretty useless here.”

“You’re not useless!” Marinette says immediately. “You’re pretty – uh, good at anything you put your mind to!”

“Marinette’s right,” Lila says, shifting so that she’s snuggling into Adrien’s side. He automatically leans away and straight into Marinette, whose heart spontaneously combusts in her chest. “Someone as smart as you couldn’t possibly be useless!”

“Um…thanks,” Adrien says. “Marinette, what do you think the next sentence is?”

“Your eyes are forest green,” Marinette sighs. Her insides chill when she realises what she’d just said. “I – ah, I mean – your dress is green!”

“Hey, that’s right!” Adrien writes out the sentence in his gorgeous handwriting. “Good job, Marinette!”

“Yank thou – um, thank you!”

“Marinette is right, though,” Lila says, resting her chin on her ‘un-sprained’ hand. “Your eyes really are such a gorgeous shade of green.”

“Thanks.” Adrien once again shifts away from Lila. “I think this third sentence is –”

“And your hair is so golden!” Lila continues. “Oro come il sole!”

The nerve of this bitch! Can’t she see that Adrien’s clearly uncomfortable with her touching him? And Marinette was here first, so how dare Lila just barge in and –

Marinette freezes. What is she thinking? Why on earth is she treating Adrien like some possession that she’s entitled to? Is she really that…fixated on him? The realisation is like icy water straight to her insides. She’s fighting over a boy! And sure, Lila’s totally a liar, but it’s not like that’s the only reason why Marinette dislikes her…

“Marinette?” Adrien says. Marinette blinks and looks up from her worksheet, where she’s been absently doodling her signature flowers on the side of the paper. “Are you alright?”

“I hope I didn’t upset you in some way!” Lila seems to feel the need to add.

“You honestly didn’t,” Marinette says with a weak smile. “I just…got lost in thought, I guess. English has never been my best subject.”

“Well, it’s lucky that you’ve got me working with you, isn’t it?” Lila says brightly.

“What’s this next sentence, then?” Adrien says with a friendly enough smile. “Marinette and I have each translated one, so it’s your turn.”

“Oh…gosh, I wish I could help, but I think my dyslexia is flaring up!” Lila says. “I’m so sorry, you must think I’m such an awful burden –”

“Not at all!” Marinette says, resisting the urge to slam her head against a brick wall. Or at least the desk. “You’ve been in class for a week and you haven’t told anyone? How have you been coping? Surely you must need help? As the class representative, it’s my duty to take care of these kinds of things!”

“Oh – I wouldn’t want to impose…” Lila says. “But if there was someone who could help me…” She bats her eyelids at Adrien. “Someone really smart…”

“Of course!” Adrien says. Lila’s face lights up, while Marinette tries – and fails – to squash the mild nausea in her gut because no, she’s not a bad person and she won’t sink to the level of some possessive, entitled weirdo! “Max is super smart, so I’m sure he’d help you if you asked!”

Lila’s face falls quicker than a superhero on the Eiffel Tower. “Oh – yes, I suppose, but I don’t know him very well and I wouldn’t want to –”

“Oh, Max is so approachable!” Adrien says. “He wouldn’t mind at all! I’d offer to help you but between my fencing and my Mandarin lessons and everything else, I don’t think I’d have the time. You deserve better than an unreliable tutor.”

Ha. Okay, so Marinette’s trying her best to not be jealous, but it really is satisfying to see the way Lila’s face twists as she tries to suppress her displeasure.

“I appreciate your concern, Adrien,” Lila says with a smile that, to her credit, is pretty well-faked. “I just might ask Max at lunch.”

“Great!” Adrien says, then smooths out his worksheet. “Quick, let’s get these done! I haven’t had sweets in –”

“Finished!” Max slams his worksheet down. How the heck his group finished first, especially with Chloé refusing to lift a finger, is beyond Marinette. All she knows is that the look of disappointment on Adrien’s face simply cannot be allowed to exist. Purely by instinct, she rummages in her purse for one of the cookies that she keeps for Tikki.

“Here!” she says, presenting it to Adrien as Ms Bustier awards Max, Juleka, and Chloé their little wrapped chocolates. “We may not have won, but you still get a sweet treat!”

Adrien’s smile is as bright as the sun when he accepts the cookie. “Thank you, Marinette! Freshly baked?”

“This morning!” Marinette says. Adrien immediately bites into the cookie and moans, and Marinette’s forced to look away to prevent him from seeing her undoubtedly scarlet face.

Man, she’s got some serious thinking to do when she gets home.

“You’ve been doing that for half an hour now,” Tikki says as Marinette just lies face-down on her bed, face making a permanent imprint in her pillow. “What’s got you so upset?”

Marinette doesn’t answer at first. It’s odd; she’d thought she’d be a hysterical mess, shrieking and pacing and tearing her hair out as she tries to sort out everything currently battering her brain. Instead, she’s deathly silent, just trying to suffocate herself in her pillow to escape her own mind.

“Nothing…” Marinette rolls onto her side so that she can speak actual words instead of pillow-muffled mumbles. “I’m just completely re-evaluating my life.”

“Is this about class today?” Tikki says. “Lila did seem very –”

“No, it’s not about Lila,” Marinette says. “It’s about me. Seeing how I was acting around Adrien because of Lila…it just made me realise how fixated I can be. I just…” She blinks rapidly to dispel the stinging in her eyes, though she’s unsuccessful. “I feel like so much of what I do is because of Adrien. I entered that game tournament because he did, even if I won fair and square and I genuinely enjoyed it – I always ‘happen’ to be around when he’s doing his photoshoots – Tikki, what normal girl does all this? I even stole his phone because of an embarrassing voicemail!”

“And you only deleted the voicemail,” Tikki says. “You didn’t snoop. It wasn’t right to take his phone in the first place, but a true stalker would have gone through everything to get all the information they could about him! You were scared of being embarrassed, not trying to creep on him.”

“I still took his phone,” Marinette says. “Do I even really like him? Or am I just so wrapped up in this crush I’ve got on him that I don’t even know?”

“Well, what do you know about him?” Tikki says, and oh boy, getting Marinette to talk about Adrien is most definitely a sure-fire way to get her to not shut up.

“I know how much it meant to him to think that the scarf I knitted was from his father,” she says. “I know when it’s Adrien the model smiling and when it’s Adrien Agreste smiling. I know that he likes video games and he feels so lonely because he misses his mother and his father treats him like – like – gah, I can’t even think of the word! I know how much he hates all the public attention he gets and how everyone throws themselves all over him. I’ve seen how uncomfortable he gets when girls cling to him!”

“Does that sound like a stalker?” Tikki says when Marinette pauses for breath. “Or does that sound like someone who cares deeply for their friend, who they happen to have a crush on?”

“But you don’t get it! I was so possessive over him today! Lila was touching him and sure, I was annoyed that he was uncomfortable, because I’m so sick of people grabbing him and treating him like he’s a toy or something, but I was also jealous! I literally thought that she had no right because I was here first! I called her a bitch in my head!”

“Mhm,” Tikki says. “And clearly you’re not a bad person, or you wouldn’t be agonising over this right now.”

Marinette just blinks at her.

“I’m thousands of years old,” Tikki says. “I’ve seen a lot of creepy and bad people, and you’re neither of them! You’re just a normal teenage girl who happens to get enthusiastic about her crush and hates it when people put their hands all over him. If you were really a stalker, you’d have taken credit for that scarf to gain his attention. You wouldn’t have let Manon be in that photoshoot with him. You would have gone through his phone when you had it. You wouldn’t have tried to step down and let Max play in the tournament. You’d constantly be touching him and invading his personal space like Chloé and Lila do. You wouldn’t have gotten the whole class involved in a protest so that he could come back to school! You’ve made mistakes, yes, but you’ve realised that you were wrong, and you tried to better yourself! That’s what makes you a good person, Marinette.”

Marinette can’t help but smile at her tiny friend. “Thanks, Tikki. How do you do that?”

“I’m an ancient, wise being,” Tikki says playfully.

“You got the ancient part right,” Marinette teases. Tikki pokes her tiny tongue out.

“So, what do you plan on doing about your crush?” Tikki says.

“Well, I can’t just forget about my feelings,” Marinette says. “I wish it was that easy.”

“Who says you have to forget about them?” Tikki says. “Chat Noir has feelings for Ladybug –”

“So he claims.”

“– and he never stumbles over his words with you.”

“He’s Chat Noir,” Marinette says. “He’s not awkward, clumsy, hot-mess Marinette.”

“Stop that right now!” Tikki’s azure eyes blaze as she rests her tiny hands on her tiny hips. “Stop putting yourself down, Marinette! Ladybug is smart, confident, talented, brave, and always driven to do the right thing. And you are Ladybug, therefore you’re all of those things too!”

“Only behind the mask.”

“You were chosen to be Ladybug because you’re all of those things,” Tikki says. “Your mask makes it easier for you to openly display those qualities, but you have them even as Marinette. You certainly weren’t behind Ladybug’s mask when you proved yourself to Master Fu.”

“All I did was help him across the road.” Why is Marinette fighting against Tikki’s words so much? Maybe it’s because every time she tries to be confident about herself, she’s smacked back down, whether by Chloé or something else. “Are you saying that he would’ve given you to any old person who helped someone across the road?”

“You didn’t just help him across the road,” Tikki says. “You put your life in danger when no one else would. You saw how everyone froze and stood there! And you sacrificed the macarons your father made when it would have been easy to worry about your own problems and how you were negatively impacted. Master Fu told me all about it when he was informing me of who my holder would be. He saw that you had the potential to be Ladybug, and you proved it when you saved Alya and defeated Stoneheart! Yes, he might have given the earrings to anyone who helped him, but you’re that someone who helped him when it would’ve been easier to look the other way. You’re that one who jumped into action rather than panic, which is essential in a superhero. And you’re the one who’s made Ladybug into who she is. Every Ladybug I’ve ever had is different because it’s the holder who makes the hero, not the other way around.”

Something warm blossoms in Marinette’s chest, and she smiles and draws Tikki in for a hug. “Thank you, Tikki. You do always know what to say.”

“I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t the truth,” Tikki says. “You’re smart, confident, talented, brave, and you always do the right thing because that’s who Marinette Dupain-Cheng is!”

“You’re right!” Marinette says. “I’m Marinette! I can do anything if I put my mind to it!”

“Including talking to Adrien normally!” Tikki says. Marinette promptly wilts.

“Y-Yeah…”

“Remember everything you just told me about Adrien. You don’t act anything like his other fans, and you don’t hang off him like Chloé and Lila do,” Tikki says. “You know things about the true Adrien that only his family and friends really know. I personally don’t think you put him on a pedestal. You’re a teen girl with a crush and when your crush is famous, there’s bound to be at least some influence from his public image. Especially when you’re around other teen girls who are fans.”

Marinette’s eyes sting with tears she tries to hold back, because Tikki is the one of the best things that’s ever happened to her and she doesn’t know what she’d do without her wise little friend. “Thanks, Tikki. But…how do I do this? I can’t just flip a switch! What if I never stop acting like a goof and he never notices me and he falls in love with someone else and –”

“Marinette!” Tikki says loudly, stopping Marinette in her tracks. “Adrien’s your friend. And you don’t have much of a chance with him if you can’t even talk to him, do you? Even if you did become his girlfriend, how could you date someone you can barely talk to?”

“You’re right,” Marinette mumbles. “I should just accept the fact that I’ve got no chance with him.”

“Is it really that important to be his girlfriend?” Tikki says. “Is romance really that much more important than friendship? You and Chat Noir trust each other with your lives and you’re not a couple. And of all the Ladybugs I’ve served, many of them never even kissed their Black Cat, but they still had a friendship as close as the relationship between the ones who did marry each other. Friendship is just as beautiful as romance.”

“I never even thought of it that way,” Marinette says, blinking at her kwami friend. Tikki’s totally right! Alya is easily one of the closest people in her life and there’s nothing romantic between them. Marinette would do anything for Alya. Would that relationship really lose its importance if she ever got together with someone? Would that someone really become more important than Alya purely because of the romance?

“Of course you didn’t, silly,” Tikki says with a small grin. “Humans are so obsessed with romance that I’m not surprised you’d see it as the most important thing ever.”

“Maybe being friends with Adrien isn’t such a bad thing,” Marinette says firmly, although whether she’s trying to convince herself or Tikki, she’s got no idea. “I’ve got more of a chance of having a close relationship with him if I’m his friend rather than stammering and sneaking around to watch him and “conveniently” run into him. And if we do ever get together, at least I can say that it’s built on friendship.”

“Exactly,” Tikki agrees. “You don’t have to stress over trying to get rid of your crush. Just focus on interacting normally with him instead of trying to ask him out, because you always seem to be able to string together more than two words when you’ve forgotten about asking him out. So, how are you going to do this? You enjoyed playing video games with Adrien, didn’t you? Maybe invite him over again!”

“Maybe,” Marinette says, although she’s not sure she’s ready for Adrien to see her true competitive side yet. She hadn’t gone too hard on him last time, since they’d had to work together as a team for the tournament, but there’s a reason her papa teasingly calls her a little princess when she plays multiplayer games and it’s not because of beauty or daintiness.

Her eyes land on the pictures of Adrien plastered across her wall near her computer, and she sighs and heaves herself out of bed. Tikki beams and whizzes over to her as she’s removing the pictures of model Adrien from her wall carefully so that they’re not damaged. Although she probably won’t be putting them back up, it doesn’t hurt to keep them in case she needs them as a reference when she’s designing. And really, Adrien makes the best designing reference.

Okay. Enough, Marinette!

“I’m proud of you, Marinette,” Tikki says as Marinette stashes the pictures away. “It’s super admirable that you can recognise what you need to improve on and how to work on it! That’s exactly what makes you such a great Ladybug.”

“Thanks, Tikki,” Marinette says with a wistful smile at her stack of Adrien modelling pictures. The only photos of Adrien left on her wall are those where he’s either with friends or smiling for a dorky photo: selfies from their phones, silly pictures shared between them and Alya and Nino, even the fun ones that the whole class (minus Chloé and Sabrina) had done together after Juleka had been akumatised. There’s a sense of rightness settling inside her as she examines the photos on her wall that show the real Adrien, happy with his friends, rather than Adrien the model that the world gets to see. In that moment, she knows she’s made the correct choice.

#miraculous ladybug #ml fic #aotq fic #aotq: hold me #marinette dupain-cheng #adrien agreste #lila rossi #anti-lila #ugh #tikki #marinette has some things to think about #also screw that true selves crap

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