#i haven't caught up yet but this entire scene is one of the most beautiful intimate scenes i've ever seen

[pharawee]

"Do you want to try it?"

—TO BE CONTINUED · Episode 7

#to be continued #to be continued the series #fluke pongsapat #junior kajbhunditt #achi x ji #tobecontinuededit #thai bl #thai drama #bl drama #bl series #my edits. #i haven't caught up yet but this entire scene is one of the most beautiful intimate scenes i've ever seen #to be continued gifset spam incoming

[maeve-is-annoying-about-books]

Blue Eye Samurai

Is really fucking good, but in such a strange sort of way. It feels like it flows with and goes against convention all at once. The show will play up an anime trope about training weights in one moment, and then in the next will deliver one of the most striking fight scenes that paint a visual pastiche of the characters within. Mizu barely needs to speak to communicate the depths of her determination and hatred, meanwhile Fowler is extremely plain an upfront about speaking his evil. Mizu spent an entire episode climbing a castle filled with fantasy traps. But when it comes time to seal the deal on this heightened sense of fantasy the show stopped and slapped me with an ice-cold bucket of reality. More in-depth spoilers to follow.

Moon above the visual storytelling in this show feels so on-point. I cannot believe that a show with a literal *takes training weights off* moment could be the same show that made the episode "The Ronin and the Bride". Then for that same fucking episode to take its own training weight joke and elevate it into character dialogue. Like that's insane to even think of doing but the writers really did make it into something genuinely beautiful. The FUCKING training weights trope.

I think this incredulity sums up my feelings about Blue Eye Samurai. It can feel so... discordant at times, but it keeps sewing that discord into something touching and creative. Or bone-chilling and stomach-turning. But when this show has me it's by the throat, I can't look away from Mizu's journey.

And like... what a journey of someone constantly caught in two worlds. It's the way her mixed-race nature never lets Mizu settle anywhere but the outskirts of society. Others keep calling her an onryo or demon at each turn, but it's not just for her eyes but all of the "otherness" she has accumulated. It's in the way he scorns womanhood because it offers no path towards the revenge he wants. It's how she'll never be society's view of manhood because honor has no use to her. It's in how he can fit into the crowd with a little aid from his glasses, but is just as "marked" by society as Ringo is. The way she could almost find happiness as a wife, but only by being himself and finding genuine enjoyment in sparring. It's the way he has to learn, through the metaphor of reforging his sword, that she cannot do things alone yet. Yet at season's end she hasn't her blade or friends, only a ship with Fowler.

You've noticed me playing with Mizu's pronouns a bit now, haven't you? Considering how much this show directly deals with gender and its presentation, I think it's only fair. I know what the creators have said, pertaining to Mizu's gender, but I don't think it's something that can be put into simple words. I guess I get the feeling that it isn't incorrect to use other pronouns when referring to him. Like it's too complicated a discussion within the show itself, and it simply lets each character beat be without the others giving us a conclusion. Is the scene of Mizu writing poetry upon herself an acceptance of her womanhood, or is an acceptance of the female body he was born with? I like that it's left to be demured. To simply exist in the moment like we're overhearing Mizu's dialogue with themself about who and what they are outside of vengeance. It's honestly a bit beautiful and meditative.

Which makes it all the more of a shocking, horrid moment when Fowler realizes Mizu's birth sex. Not only is it in the most fucked up, sadistic way, it's also an invasion. An invasion into Mizu's dialogues, into their fight, into the scene. It almost feels out of place, jarring, like being struck by the words. The castle is burning down and murder is in the air and Fowler is talking about how Mizu's bones break like a woman's. It's the height of intrusiveness onto her being.

Just... gosh. How could I hope to summarize this series in one post? There's so much to talk about and it's so good. The show kept me engaged with the right amount of show, don't tell where it counted. There are mistakes, missteps, missed opportunities, but they all allow for this story to really exist in its own language. Like Mizu's sword it is a thing not like many others. Its component pieces are hard to weave into a coherent, whole story and there's always the allure of sanitizing your work to be overly pure. But it is, I think, better for it to let itself be unique. To be wholly itself without excuse.

#blue eye samurai #i just finished watching this and i have to explode #like wow #what an experience it was to watch blind

[fruit-sy]

jjk s1 and s2 spoilers

caught up to the jjk anime this week and damn, hits hard

Animation is stellar, the characters are really fun, there's themes that really hit me hard and godamn the ending of jjk 0 actually made me cry, like tears were shed. I understood why my brother loved the movie lmao

but rn there's one man on my mind. Gojo fucking satoru

Gojo Satoru is just, wow, what hasn't been said about him? He's certainly a showstopper alright, I know Itadori's the protagonist but my eyes were on Gojo the entire time, season 2 personally was even more exciting with that in mind.

I haven't really had the time to do a deep dive on him, but I do have some thoughts... First, yeah he's hot asf I'll give him that (those eyes of his are on my mind and they won't leave me alone, also props to the english dub for the absolutely feral lines)

but the progression of him as a person is also really fun to see. I'm especially interested in him maturing from this arrogant and individualistic person at the beginning of season 2 to... well, still being that but also becoming a mentor to other people.

Like, that's such a huge step for me because contrary to what his pride tells him, he's come to realize he can't do it alone (I mean, he can at the moment but it's more realistic to try and personally raise these youth with potential so that they may bring about a powerful new generation)

The line about education really hit me and I kept thinking about it these last couple of days. He wants to bring change, but if he's the only one humanity has to rely on, he'll run himself ragged. And so, he takes the time and patience to grow these little seedlings, watch them get more powerful but also watch as they may fail along the journey. Even though he's become a teacher, he's not soft on them at all. It's a fact that if they're unable to keep up with him, they will get left behind. Whether that be in skill, or death.

Other than to raise more powerful sorcerers, I can't help but feel this also comes from a place of loneliness, because Geto left him.

I wonder, how much it will hurt to see his students fall? Because although they are improving at a fast rate, can they really keep up with The Gojo Satoru? Or will they against all odds, with his full support, be able to carry on when he's gone? Despite the uncertainty, he continues to teach.

Though the goal is daunting, seeing him wake up to his students and smiling brought such a warm feeling to my chest, it was so sweet.

Also love how unhinged he can get, like characters who do the manic smile thing never ceases to make me giggle excitedly (Nobara and Fushiguro also knocked it out of the park in that aspect, extremely hyped when they went completely off the hinge and kicked ass).

However, there's one scene that absolutely left me in awe. A beautiful mixture of music and imagery that sent shivers up my body every time I watch it. A scene in which he's shown being a mixture of unhinged, yet so at "peace". The juxtaposition is absolutely beautiful to see.

Fighting against toji, where he was high off his epiphany, he had an inner monologue so quiet, so relaxed and detached from how he usually is, coupled with the same piano tune that accompanied the scenes with him, Riko and Geto in the background. My breath was taken away, my eyes were glued to the screen in awe as the music crescendo-ed, and I couldn't help but think "he's beautiful" splattered in blood, bathed in sunlight and eyes glowing with the most vibrant blue.

After the dust had settled, the three of them lost something that day. Riko lost her life, Gojo started to lose his best friend, and Geto started to lose his moral compass and ideals.

The piano music was called "一緒なら" or "If I am with you/together". I wonder why? Perhaps the first time, it was from Riko's POV, as she, Gojo, Geto and Kuroi were sightseeing for the very last time.

The second time, although Gojo seemed detached from Riko's death, perhaps he genuinely cared for her, so much that he'd mourn in his own way.

The arc started with Gojo carrying Riko in his arms

The arc ended with Gojo holding Riko's dead body as the crowd celebrated her death.

He started to lose it, even asking Geto if he should kill all of them. Funny how the tables have turned.

#(SHEESH did not think it'd be this long-) #You know that twitter post about characters with big ol blue eyes staring at you? Yeah that's my brain on Gojo fuckin satoru #sorry for the incoherent mess of words I just vomitted out i have a lot of thoughts and thanks im okay how are you? #I mightve interpreted some details wrong but ill leave that for later #fruit talks

[jazzythursday]

For the SOC asks... any four questions you haven't answered yet that you wanna talk about! Have a good flight 💕

Aw ty friend! 🥹💖💕

5. Any character you didn't expect to like as much as you did? Similarly, is there any character that didn't end up liking as much as you thought you would?

I didn’t expect to like Matthias nearly as much. I think because I didn’t expect him to be as funny or thoughtful as he is. He’s not the type of character I would usually get attached to at all but after reading the books I got it. His death especially hit me so much harder than I expected. His character arc is so interesting it’s handled so well. And I never expected to get so invested in Helnik either but I was so wrong. Just—boy loves Nina so much. So in love. Soulmates. Doomed star crossed lovers. Gah 🥺🤧

31. What moments made you freak out (in a happy or sad way) the most?

-I still get chills just thinking about “let me tell you about my son” and Van Eck’s whole speech at the end of soc about Wylan.

-literally everything with the Khergud. The sheer terror I felt reading those scenes is unparalleled. Especially when Jesper gets attacked during the auction.

-Inej getting caught by Van Eck coming out of the vents 😬🫣

-actually experiencing Wylan’s backstory for the first time. Omg. I was so spoiled on it but I genuinely don’t think anything could have prepared me. Also everything at Saint Hilde’s with his mother and Jesper.

-“He was Wylan Van Eck. He told them everything” —self explanatory. Crying screaming throwing up as I turned the pages.

-And for a happy one—the Wesper kiss!!!! I waited almost the whole duology to finally get to it and it did not disappoint! Pure actual poetry. 1000/10 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

39. What are a few of your favorite Wylan moments?

Oh gosh, all Wylan moments are my favorite Wylan moments! My annotated copies are basically tabbed every time he’s even mentioned. That said, here are the first ones that come to mind:

-the very first time we see him and he’s just doodling and chewing on his nails. Immediately I’m so charmed by it.

-when he has to pretend to be a waiter and can’t figure out what to do with his hands or how to speak (relatable content lol). His “don’t!” when Jesper bets his guns, how uncomfortable and worried he is for Nina having to flirt with Cornelius Smeet. I just love the entire chapter so much.

-“you can’t afford to buy her breakfast” and “Then you're going to be a lot harder to surprise” when they’re running through the library. All the sass. Sassy boy. We love to see it.

-after Jesper and Kuwei kiss and he’s upset and says something along the lines of “he’s not even good at science!!! Half of his note books are filled with doodles—most of which are of you—and those aren’t very good either!!!” Absolutely the funniest thing I’ve ever read. Peak jealous/sassy/petty Wylan. No notes.

-when he’s the first one to pick a tulip and lay it on Matthias as they’re all saying goodbye.

63. Link your favorite fic(s)!

Of Bronze and Blaze

The meaning of good

Round and Round

always an angel, never a god

somewhere full of bright colours and beautiful sounds

Flint and Flute Notes (series)

Between Hope and Desperation

Thanks for the questions! 💖

#wesper #shadow and bone #six of crows #ask games

[touchingmadness]

Camp Nano Progress Update #1

The first week of Camp Nano is complete, and I'm actually really happy with my progress! I expected this month to be a little rough for me, since I'm usually pretty active in the (currently shut down for good reason) Nano forums and tend to use the energy of other writers to bolster me through the event. And yeah, I'm writing a lot less than I would be under those conditions. But I'm still writing, and I'm still enjoying what I'm writing, and that's what really matters to me.

Excerpt:

You spend the rest of the day loitering around a city that would be far more beautiful if it wasn’t smack dab in the middle of tourist season. Instead, the streets and beaches are teeming with well-off people getting away from their well-off lives and generally spoiling the atmosphere with their existence. You can’t help but feel bad for the people who live here, even if you’re sure they make a pretty penny off of these people. And so will you, it seems, when Soren nudges you with a smirk and proceeds to nick the coin purse right off of a wealthy man’s belt. It takes everything in you not to gape at him, but you do cast around your gaze discreetly. The menace is subtle and slick, good with his fingers and anything that requires him to be quiet and look innocent, but this is something entirely different than what you’re used to from him. Sure, he’ll pilfer anything left unattended for too long, but pickpocketing is a whole other game. You have no objections – these people could do with lighter pockets – but it’s not going to be good for either of you if he gets himself caught. “Watch yourself,” you sign as he shoves the pouch into his bag. He sticks his tongue out like a child, fingers flying. “Watch me yourself.”

Statistics and reflection under the cut.

Just the Numbers

I've added 6,302 words to Let the Light In in the past week, bringing the total count for the project up to 23,611 words. Most of these new words have been in Chapter 3, although a few were used to round out Chapter 2 at a healthy 7,942 words. I've written on 5 out of 8 days, with my highest wordcount day occurring on April 8th, with 2,132 words written.

Notable Scenes

Group cuddles. I cannot stress this enough. Group cuddles!!!

A thieving contest started by the savior of the universe. Hell yeah.

Lounging in the ropes on a boat. Showing off like a cat.

First kiss (angst edition). Not quite to first kiss (soft edition) yet.

Making Big Decisions

I've already stated that I'm quite happy with what I've written, and while that's true, I have had some decisions to make. There was one scene I got myself especially tripped up over. I wanted to use it to develop the dynamic between my POV character and a member of the party, but I recognized that the pretense under which I had them sit down for a conversation didn't ring true for either of them. I wrote a good chunk of it, and it's still in my draft, but I know for a fact that it's going to be scrapped. I'll replace it with something more naturalistic later.

Based on where I'm at in Chapter 3 and how much I have left to cover, this one's going to be a lengthy one. That being said, I'm standing by my decision to segment the first three chapters (which span over the first act of Dragon Quest XI) the way that I do. Narrative cohesiveness is more important to me than content balance, especially when I know that Chapter 4 is going to be an absolute baby chapter, since it only encapsulates a short story that happens in the game's interlude.

A decision I still need to make is where I'm going to start the narrative for Act II in Chapter 5. This is more about the logistics of the source material and the fact that the player character is not my POV character for this fic. Basically, at the beginning of Act II in DQXI, you have to regather your party members. If you follow the story, you regain my POV character fourth, but you can get him third if you decide to wander. I haven't decided how I'm handling this in the fic yet, because there are benefits and drawbacks to both, but I think I'm going to write it as though he's acquired third and remove/edit scenes later if I decide to go in the other direction. Final decision will likely come down to how good those scenes end up being and how well they integrate with the rest of the chapter.

Moving Forward

The rest of Chapter 3 is going to be mostly relationship development for the main pairing and the party as a whole, which I am so excited for! I have a lot of funny, goofy little ideas planned to really cement all these Fools™️ together, though the thieving contest scene and its aftermath will likely remain my favorite. It's nice to have this downtime with them before the plot and angst pick back up again. I don't anticipate finishing Chapter 3 this week, as there's some lengthier scenes I have planned, but I'm perfectly content to linger in these moments, especially since that's why I'm writing this.

I hope everyone else's writing journeys are going just as great! My inbox is open if you want to infodump or chat! 💖

#writeblr #writing community #camp nano april 2024 #nanowrimo #amwriting #wip: ltli #not tagging the fandom bc i already have to restrain myself from flooding the tag with memes on my main each time i write a new scene lol #this is more about the writing process than the project's contents anyway #other than the excerpt #soren the gremlin my beloved 💜

[dancingkirby]

All Subject One Flashback Scenes

16k words of them, arranged in chronological order for your reading convenience! I got the idea to do this because I really liked the found footage stuff in @inkblackorchid's fic and ended up putting it all in a Word document. Since the flashback scenes in my fic were one of my favorite parts to write, I assumed that at least some people would like them the best, so I decided I'd spare y'all a bit of work!

This does include the two scenes from Chapter 10, JSYK.

WARNINGS (Just in case there are people who haven't read the main fic yet): Sexual relationship between an adult and a minor (which the minor considers to be "consensual"), abuse of all kinds but most prominently emotional, teen pregnancy with childbirth scene, food/body shaming, and unreliable narration in parts.

The small boy should have fallen asleep hours ago. Instead, he lay perfectly still in his darkened bedroom, waiting until he knew that everyone else had retired for the night. Then he slipped out of bed and made a beeline for the living room.

Today had been Christmas Eve. Earlier this evening, Mutti and Vati had played pretend that they liked each other and took him to the Graben to see the pretty lights. Even if they had been pretending, he’d thought it was nice to have both of them here at once; that almost never happened. Then they’d gone home and had dinner; he’d gotten to sit at the table like a big boy instead of his dumb old high chair. Then he’d opened his many presents. His favoritest present had been the duel disk that Mutti had given him.. like hers, except smaller! She’d caught him playing with hers before and decided to get him his very own.

“Don’t you think he’s a little young for that, Misako?” Vati had said.

Mutti pressed her lips together, making them into a thin line. “Himu-chan is very advanced for his age. Which you’d know if you ever spent any time with him.”

Vati had been angry, although he hadn’t yelled, which was nice. Instead, he’d just left. That was okay because Mutti went through the cards in the starter deck with him, sounding out the names. His favorite was one called HI-NO-TAMA. Mutti said that meant “fireball” in Japanese, which was the language she had spoken when she was a kid. And the funny part was that in Japan, they didn’t call it HI-NO-TAMA. They called it FAIAA BOORU instead, which meant “fire ball” in English! It was all backwards.

As soon as he’d put Hinotama on the duel disk, he knew it was real fire. Mutti said no, it was something called a “hologram,” but he could feel the warmth. He wanted to look at it all night, but then it was his bedtime.

Normally he was very good at getting his own way. He knew when to throw a tantrum, and when putting on his biggest smile instead would work better. Tonight, though, nothing he did changed Mutti’s mind.

“It’s been a long night and you need your sleep,” she’d insisted. That meant he needed to use the third option for getting his way: to be on his best behavior so they’d think he was a good boy, then sneak out of his room when they weren’t looking.

It wasn’t hard. The disk and cards were right where he’d left them. If Mutti really hadn’t wanted him to play with them more, he reasoned, then she’d have put them away on a high shelf where he couldn’t reach.

He knew he wasn’t supposed to play with fire. Mutti had told him that, along with his nannies. But Hinotama was different. Hinotama was his friend. He didn’t have very many other friends.

He turned the duel disk back on and put the card on it. For a while, he sat there, mesmerized by the orange flame. But it was so, so pretty that he needed More. He made it bigger, and bigger, until suddenly it was too much More and he could no longer control it.

He saw the beautiful fire tip toward him as if in slow motion, held out his hands to shield himself…

His screams of pain and terror awakened the entire house.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

“Seria-chan, that guy has been looking at you all evening. And he’s really cute. Why don’t you go introduce yourself?”

Her first feeling had been one of mild annoyance. She was here at this upscale bar with a couple of girlfriends to celebrate both her twenty-third birthday and her recent passing of the nursing certification test. All she was was looking to do was have a few drinks and maybe do some karaoke…not for any romance.

But then she looked at where her friend Iori was pointing, and saw that it was true that this man was very attractive. In fact, he was good-looking to the point that it nearly defied credulity. He was tall even when seated, square-jawed, broad-shouldered, and sported a luscious head of auburn hair. If she were being honest, this guy was more Mi-chan’s type than hers…but why not? It wasn’t like he’d be able to do anything bad to her; she and her friends had agreed to watch out for each other. And, having broken up with her boyfriend some months prior, she was admittedly itching for some action now that the stress of exams was behind her.

She took her half-finished drink, being careful to keep a close eye on it, and moved down to the other end of the table.

“Did you want to say something to me?” she asked as way of greeting.

He smiled at her. “Yes. I’d like to know if I could have the honor of buying you a drink.”

Oh, he was one of those guys, was he? But he was handsome enough he could get away with it.

“You may buy me a drink,” she emphasized. She’d already had two and she wanted to get a little tipsy, not black out.

He did so, and then introduced himself to her. “Joachim Mueller. Nice to meet you.”

“I’m Seria,” she replied. It felt backward, introducing herself with her given name, but this guy was obviously foreign, and she wasn’t sure she was comfortable with him knowing her surname yet.

They participated in some small talk. Seria learned that this Joachim had returned to Japan last month after spending six years in America, and he had some funny little stories about cultural differences and his experiences with obtuse Americans during the pandemic. In comparison, her life sounded very dull. Still, she talked about her family and her almost-completed journey towards becoming a nurse.

Then, rather abruptly, Joachim said, “You’re a Psychic Duelist, aren’t you?”

She blinked. “How did you know?” It wasn’t like she was very good at the dueling aspect; her healing powers were stronger than her ability to manifest physical objects from cards.

“I make it my business to know,” the young man replied, still smiling as pleasantly as ever. “I am one myself. We need to stick together. Tell me…have you ever experienced discrimination from other people due to your powers? Have your loved ones rejected you?”

Looking back years later, Seria would realize that this was the point where she should have made up an excuse and bailed. However, at that time she was too intoxicated, both from the alcohol and this man’s magnetism, to be anything but thrilled that there was someone else out there like her. All her life, she’d thought it was some bizarre quirk exclusive to her.

As for his question…although she’d been fortunate enough to have a supportive family, making friends had always been difficult for her. Sometimes, she’d forgotten herself and gotten carried away during duels, and everyone tended to avoid her after these episodes. In addition, her supervisors were convinced that she was using her powers to cheat on practical exams, even though this was impossible since she wasn’t working on anything living…

“I suppose I have,” she mused.

And that really opened the floodgates. She was Joachim Mueller’s captive audience as he told her of his plans to help others like them. He wanted to take in children who had been neglected and abandoned, teach them how to use their powers safely, and then re-integrate them into society when they were ready. His goal, he said, was to break down the barriers between the general population and Psychic Duelists entirely, so that one day it would be no more of a feared trait than, say, having freckles or Type AB blood. And with a bunch of kids learning about their powers, there were bound to be some injuries here and there. That was why they’d need a medic…someone like Seria.

By midnight, she was sold.

Her friends didn’t find it concerning when she decided to leave the bar with him; Iori even flashed a victory sign. They stumbled out the door, laughing, their arms wrapped around each other. After they’d taken a cab to the nearest love hotel, and almost broken down the door to their room in their eagerness to get inside, Seria experienced by far the best sex she’d had in her entire life.

There was no going back after that.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

It was past midnight when Seria had been jerked out of sleep by the pounding at her door.

“Who’zit?” she mumbled. Her first assumption was that this was a medical emergency. She’d been woken up at odd hours by those before, but it never got any easier for all the practice she’d had.

“Hiroshi,” came the familiar no-nonsense voice from the hallway. Without waiting for a response, he continued, “Divine-sama asked me to wake you up. We are to join him in his office for an important meeting.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll get ready,” she sighed. Could this not have waited until morning?

One of the benefits of being in the Arcadia Movement was that she never had to worry about picking an outfit. She grabbed a shirt, a robe, and a pair of pants out of the closet, knowing without looking that they would match since they were identical to the other pairs. Then she made a quick trip to the bathroom to brush her hair and splash cold water on her face. There; she was a little more alert.

“Did Divine-sama say what this was about? Nothing bad happened, did it?” she inquired as the two of them walked down the hallway as fast as they could without breaking into a run.

Hiroshi assured her, “Nothing that I know of. He was out the entire evening and came back with an unfamiliar girl. Then the two of them spent a couple of hours on the testing floor. Perhaps it has to do with that.”

Now that Seria was thinking about it, Divine had been acting a little strangely over the past few days. He had mentioned to her that there might be a new arrival soon. This was not an uncommon occurrence, what with all the psychic children in the city who had been abandoned by their families. Certainly, he didn’t consult them about every new resident, and when he did, it was never so late in the night. What made this case special?

When they finished the long elevator ride up and knocked at Divine’s office door, they heard his voice say, “Come in.” However, he left it to them to open the door.

They found Divine standing behind his desk, with his hands on the shoulders of a young girl in a school uniform. She looked maybe sixteen years old, if Seria had to guess.

“Seria, Hiroshi, I would like to introduce Aki. She will be living with us from now on,” he said.

Seria smiled. “It’s nice to meet you, Aki-san.” Hiroshi remained silent and made a respectful bow instead.

Aki remained silent. She shrank back into Divine until his hands tightened their grip almost imperceptibly. At this point, she looked up at them through messy bangs and greeted them with a soft, “Hello.”

“Good girl,” Divine said. “Now, it’s been a long night. You probably want to get some rest, don’t you? Hiroshi will show you where you’ll sleep. We’ll have you spend tonight in one of the holding rooms, if that’s okay. I’ll make sure that your permanent room is ready by the end of tomorrow.”

He handed Hiroshi a floor plan, in which he’d filled in the room he’d chosen in highlighter. As usual, Seria’s colleague showed no emotions on the matter one way or the other, merely gesturing at the girl to follow him. She did this, although not until a little nudge forward from Divine.

“Poor thing,” he commented to Seria when the two of them were alone in the office. “When she was five, her parents sent her to Duel Academia as a boarder, which is highly unusual for students living in the city. Then last month, she got into some sort of trouble with her powers at school and ran away. She’s good at hiding; it took me weeks to track her down.”

“How old is she?” Seria asked.

“Thirteen. Fourteen in August.”

Seria winced. Even younger than she’d thought. A pretty thirteen-year-old girl alone on the streets…people would have been waiting around every corner to take advantage of her in the most heinous ways.

“Oh, you don’t have to worry about her in that regard,” Divine informed her. She’d always suspected that he had some ability to read people’s emotions if not their minds. “She is extremely powerful; nobody would ever have been able to touch her if she didn’t want them to. In fact, she beat me in the testing duel, and no one’s done that since Hiroshi. That’s why I called you two to meet her as soon as she was done. I suspect that she will be one of our best pupils and prove crucial to our success. To show her importance, I would like you and Hiroshi to refer to her as ‘Subject Zero’ when discussing her with other staff. Not to her face, of course.”

There was a glint in his eyes with which Seria wasn’t quite comfortable; very similar to how he had looked at her in that bar three years ago. Surely he couldn’t be…no, what was she thinking? The girl was barely a teenager. All Divine wanted was to create a haven for Psychic Duelists, particularly those who couldn’t fend for themselves. He would never.

“You mentioned setting her bedroom up,” she blurted out a little abruptly, attempting to cancel out her bad thoughts. In the Arcadia Movement, almost everybody shared a room with either one, three, or five other people, depending on the amount of time they’d lived here and/or how powerful they were. Seria had anticipated that Aki would be assigned to one of the six-person dormitory-style rooms since she was new to the Movement.

Divine had other plans, though. “Yes. Tell Maintenance to get one of the two-person rooms ready, please. One with a balcony if that’s possible. The highest floor where you can find an empty one.”

Okay, this was a bit unexpected, but it should work. They had dozens of unoccupied bedrooms, converted from the office space of the previous tenants. Seria thought that there might be enough rooms for every resident to have their own…however, Divine wanted to do it this way and she opted not to question it. “Understood. And who will she be sharing it with?”

“No one. She’ll have it to herself.”

And that was very unexpected. The only people here who had a private bedroom were herself, Divine, and Hiroshi. Inwardly, she wondered what Divine was planning. He did have an unfortunate habit of playing favorites among the child and adolescent students, and it appeared that Aki was going to be one of them.

Outwardly, though, she bowed and told him, “It will be done.”

“Excellent. I would also like you to conduct a thorough physical exam tomorrow morning and check bloodwork. She likely has mild malnutrition from her time on her streets.” Looking exceedingly satisfied, Divine slipped both of his hands into his front pants pockets. “You are dismissed for tonight. I have some business to attend to.”

And she’d thought nothing of it then…

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Misty slammed on the brakes and tapped out a sharp reprimand on her car horn. The nerve! She’d been turning into her preferred parking spot in the school pickup line, had her signal lights on and everything, when some jerk in a big black car with tinted windows had cut in front of her and taken her spot. He (for such a rude driver could only be male) had almost hit her, too. Fuming, she did two loops around the lot before the car behind this one left and cleared up a spot for her to parallel park. Even this was difficult, since the driver of the black car had the front end of the vehicle in one space and the back end in another. It was a testament to the compact build of her kei car that she managed to squeeze in at all.

And she’d found her spot not a moment too soon. She spotted Toby jogging towards the car, his bag hanging off one shoulder and a big grin on his face like usual.

“Oneechan!” he greeted as he opened the door and got into the passenger seat. “How was your day?”

Smiling in return, she replied, “Okay. Nothing too special. How was yours?”

“Well, um, we’re doing a lot of reviewing in class for finals. I think I have a good grasp on everything. And then we’re going to have a pizza party next week when the exams are done... like they do in American schools. It’s gonna be awesome!”

That was her little brother, all right: always appreciative of the simple pleasures in life. Every day, Misty thought about how lucky she was to have him. Her job was often a stressful one, what with posing for photo shoots for hours on end, doing shows, and worrying about follower counts on social media. She had a tendency towards gloom when left to her own devices, and she knew it. But Toby rarely failed to cheer her up. Without his enthusiasm on subjects such as pizza parties, or a cherry blossom tree in full bloom, or an interesting new manga series he’d found, she was certain that she’d lose sight of what was important.

“That’s wonderful. I can’t believe you’re going to be a second-year student soon,” she commented. He’d turned thirteen last month, and as much as Misty wanted him to remain her adorable baby brother forever, she knew that he was growing up fast. Recently, he’d even started mentioning a girl in the grade above him, with powers similar to his, who he thought was cute. Where had the years gone?

She told Toby, “It looks like we might be stuck here for a while, until that asshole in front of us decides to move.” What was he doing here anyway? They’d all heard the stories of adult men that hung around schools for nefarious purposes...

“That’s okay. I don’t mind,” Toby said, sounding oddly eager. “I recognize that car. It’s the one that she rides in.”

Ah.

“So I’ll finally get to see your girlfriend?” she teased.

Toby made a big show of rolling his eyes. “Mistyyyy! She’s not my girlfriend! Not yet, anyway. I think I’m gonna ask her out after the new school year starts.”

“Be careful,” she urged. “I don’t want you to get a broken heart.”

“I’ll be careful,” he promised, albeit a bit absentmindedly. Before Misty could say anything else, his head swiveled over to look out the window. “Look, Oneechan…there she is! Izayoi Aki-san!”

Misty looked where he was pointing and saw a skinny girl, not yet fully grown into her limbs, with red hair. She was pretty, it was true, but she walked with her shoulders hunched and her arms folded across her chest. Her heart-shaped face and delicate features became marred with a dark scowl whenever anyone crossed her path, sending the unfortunate other person fleeing.

“She doesn’t look happy,” Misty observed. In fact, Izayoi Aki looked like a bit of a bully to her. Why her cheerful brother would be attracted to that, she wasn’t sure.

Toby’s ears colored. “Yeah. People are mean to her because she can’t control her powers. But I wouldn’t be like that! I’d always be nice to her…even if she accidentally hurt me.”

This sounded too much like the “I can fix him” trope with the usual gender roles flipped for Misty’s liking. However, she maintained her silence and let him have his fantasies. He was thirteen, this was his first crush that she knew of, and she doubted that he’d listen to reason.

Meanwhile, Izayoi Aki had reached the suspicious-looking car in front of them. She opened the door and appeared pleasantly surprised to see who was inside. Her face lit up with an admittedly gorgeous smile, and she clambered in.

“Finally,” Misty sighed as the parking spot thief pulled out of the two spaces he was occupying and drove off. A minor annoyance, she told herself. Now they could get on with the rest of their day.

It would be another three weeks before she realized the full impact of this event.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

She lay naked on the bed, mind and body open for him. For six months, she’d tried to hide her burgeoning crush, until the wonderful Christmas night when Divine had confessed to reciprocating her feelings. And then she’d had to wait another eight months before he decided that it was time to take their relationship to the next level. Her patience had finally paid off. Tonight, after so many kisses that had left her yearning for more, after all those nights that she’d had to seek relief by her own hand, they were going to consummate their love at last.

Seria had given her that shot a few days prior. So when Divine had invited her to dinner, ostensibly to celebrate her birthday, Aki had known. During the meal, she’d cleaned her plate but hadn’t been able to taste any of it…not when her whole being was focused on him. Then he’d held her on his lap and told her how much she’d grown since arriving here, that she’d blossomed into a beautiful and mature young lady.

This time, she’d been the one to start the kissing.

She’d wanted to jump straight into it, but Divine had told her that, since this was her first time, he needed to prepare her properly. He’d touched every inch of her body, and she had no idea how he could exercise this much restraint when she felt on the verge of spontaneous combustion. Finally, he’d said that she was ready. He undressed, and she was thrilled to see that he was as excited about her as she was about him.

She felt deliciously grown-up. Everything was going to be perfect. The bedside lamp bathed her pale skin in a golden glow, as if giving a higher meaning to their union. They were both already breathing heavily when he crawled on top of her. He’d warned her that it would probably hurt, but when he pushed into her and she screamed, it was entirely from pleasure…

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Aki had just finished a super-good day of training. She’d beaten Okita and Liquid in a 2-on-1 game of Duel Tennis, and couldn’t wait to tell Divine about it. Maybe he’d be so happy that he’d let her eat with him tonight…possibly even sleep with him too. Although they’d only been “doing it” for a month, since her fifteenth birthday, she already felt like she could never get enough.

Once she reached the top floor, she found that the door to his office was ajar. Normally, the rule was to knock only if it was completely closed, but she heard some sort of tinny electronic music coming from inside…like something from a video game. It sounded like he was occupied with whatever this was, so she decided to play it safe and knock anyway.

The music paused. “Yes? Who is it?”

“Aki,” she answered, a little breathlessly since the mere sound of his voice was enough to send her heart racing. Please don’t let him be too busy…

“Oh. Come on in.”

She breathed a quiet sigh of relief and entered the spacious suite of rooms, closing the door behind her just in case. Her ears traced the sounds as coming from the living area, which could double as a bedroom on the frustratingly frequent occasions when Divine had to pull an all-nighter. She found an endearing scene inside…he was lying on the couch, back propped up against the arm, indeed playing on an older handheld gaming device. It must be one of the games from his collection, she thought. Although he’d let her play some of them on occasion, she’d never seen him play any before and didn’t recognize the music as coming from one of the ones she knew.

He turned the volume down to mute and set the device down on a coffee table. “I was thinking you’d show up soon. It’s good to see you.”

He was dressed as casually as she’d ever seen him, in a polo shirt and jeans. However, he still had his gloves on and had added black forearm sleeves. Aki knew that he never took the gloves off except in the bathroom; he even wore them when they “did it.” She always wondered why.

Aki walked over to the end of the couch where his feet were, waiting for his nod of permission before she perched on the edge.

“I wanted to tell you how my training went…” she began, only for Divine to cut her off.

“Yes, Hiroshi already texted me that you did well today.” He gestured at his smartphone, also lying on the table.

“Oh,” she said. Why did she feel this disappointed that she hadn’t gotten to be the one to tell him? Perhaps that was the idea; the second-in-command had never liked her…

“Aki? Let’s not sulk. It’s most unbecoming.”

She made herself smile again, and he returned it. “That’s better.”

He picked the device back up and turned the sound on. Was this his way of telling her that he wanted her to leave? But they hadn’t seen each other since yesterday morning. She tried to think of something else to say.

“I like that music,” she finally ventured. In German, no less. Ich mag diese Musik. At least that’s what she thought it was. Divine always liked when she spoke to him in his native language, although he still had to reply in Japanese because her listening comprehension wasn’t great yet.

Her instincts proved accurate, and Divine rewarded her efforts by looking back up at her. “It is a catchy little tune, isn’t it? Its name is ‘Serious.’ Do you hear the heartbeat?”

“…Heartbeat?” she repeated, stumped. Sometimes when she got confused like this, he’d grow tired of trying to explain it to her and tell her to never mind. Today, thankfully, he seemed to be in a good mood and have more patience.

“Hold on. I’ll make it so you might be able to hear it a little better.” And, in a few seconds, she did.

1-2, 1-2-3, 1-2-3-4, 2-3…

“I found this game in a secondhand store when I was eleven,” he explained to her. “Not long after I moved to Japan for the first time.”

He hardly ever talked about his past; Aki treasured every scrap of it he flung her way. Seeing him like this, long eyelashes almost brushing his cheekbones as he looked down, the hemline of his shirt riding up just enough to give her a glimpse of abs, warmed her through and through. He looked almost…vulnerable, as if the eleven-year-old who had been so excited about this game was peeping through.

She chewed her lip, trying not to show how much she wanted him. If she waited quietly for a few more minutes until he got to a good stopping point, then maybe…

“You are dismissed, Aki,” he said abruptly, not looking up from the screen. Before she had the chance to protest, he added, “If you’re feeling up to it, you may have dinner with me tonight. Bring your overnight bag.”

Aki’s smile grew. Thus mollified, she turned to leave, asking one final question.

“What’s the game about?” Worum geht es in dem Spiel?

Divine thought for a few seconds before telling her, “It’s about people who are very much like you and I.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------

After two long weeks, Divine had returned from one of his business trips. This one was in Italy, which made Aki happy because he was always in a better mood when he got to go to Europe. And he’d called her to his room that very first night back!

This trip had been a good one, he’d told her. She listened politely as he regaled her with the details. Although she couldn’t understand a lot of the specifics, it seemed that he’d made a lot of money. Doing what, she wasn’t sure. It wasn’t her job to know that.

He’d brought her a special treat…a bottle of something called Vin Santo, which he said was a dessert wine. He’d remembered her sweet tooth, and that she hadn’t cared for the drier wines which he preferred. It almost choked her up, how he was always thoughtful and knew her likes and dislikes as well as she did.

Their glasses clinked together in a toast, full of promise for the future…

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Divine had always preferred European cuisine to Japanese, and wanted to make sure everyone in the building followed suit. It took a little getting used to, being incredibly rich, but Aki soon learned to love it. And when he invited her to dine with him in his room, she got to have the fancy stuff, prepared by his personal French chef and Viennese pastry chef.

Tonight, they were having one of her favorites: salmon Hollandaise. Starving from a full day of training, Aki could scarcely wait for the servers to finish their work. Once the two of them were finally left alone, she cut off a big piece of fish with the side of her fork, only for Divine to clear his throat. He did that whenever she did something he didn’t like. She couldn’t imagine what that might be this time.

Her eyes flicked up to meet his, and he shook his head. “Do you really need to eat all of that, Aki?”

Although his tone was as gentle and pleasant as ever, she flushed with shame. He was right. She had been about to eat like a pig when she needed to be a lady. When she’d scraped most of the sauce off and started taking tiny bites instead, the smile returned to Divine’s face.

“That’s my good girl…”

----------------------------------------------------------------------

The hour was late. Divine had let Aki stay in his office while he finished up his work for the night, and they were slow-dancing (or, by this point, more swaying in place than anything else) to that American song he liked: the one that was named after a flower yet never mentioned flowers in the lyrics. Bummer. It was still a nice song, though. And now that he’d started teaching her English, Aki could understand some of the words for herself.

She was resting her head on his shoulder and could scarcely keep her eyes open. Still, she made a little hum of objection when the song began winding down. “Play it again.”

This was at least the tenth time she’d requested this tonight, but Divine humored her. “All right. Just this once more, Sisi. You’re practically asleep on your feet.”

He side-stepped them over the table where the old-fashioned CD player was and let go of her long enough to press the Replay button in the nick of time. One thing was for sure, Aki thought as the opening lyrics played once again. She would give up forever to touch him…

----------------------------------------------------------------------

She was quite possibly the angriest she’d been in her entire life as she exited the elevator and stormed down the hallway to Divine’s office, a small object held in one fist. When she got to the doors, piano music was coming from inside the room. She instantly recognized the tune as Pollyanna. Why such a hardened cynic would like a song about childhood optimism, she’d never know, although it was sickeningly ironic given the reason for her fury.

The doors were locked. Divine often did this when practicing his music, but today Seria didn’t give a shit. She pounded on them with all her strength, resolving to break them down herself if she had to.

“It’s Seria. Open up now,” she ordered. She was impressed with how low and scary her voice sounded. And Divine must have felt similarly, since he got up from the piano and unlocked the doors without any reprimand about how busy he was.

As soon as the doors closed behind her, Seria showed him the object she was holding…a positive pregnancy test.

“Well, I believe congratulations are in order,” Divine said lightly. “Who’s the father? I wouldn’t think it was Hiroshi, but stranger things have happened, I suppose.”

“You are,” she told him.

Seria knew what he was about to say–something along the lines of, Don’t be ridiculous, we haven’t had sex in years. She didn’t give him the chance.

“You promised me that this wouldn’t happen, Joachim.” Damnit, now she was starting to cry. “It’s the only reason I went along with all this. How could you? She’s…she’s only fifteen.”

His eyes widened; in the nearly five years Seria had known him, this was the first time she’d seen him at a loss for words. He didn’t even bother giving her the stinkeye for addressing him by his real name.

“What…how?! We had her on the shots!”

Yes, they had…except for when Aki had come down with a bad cold in the late winter. They’d decided to delay the administration of the next injection for a week to give her a chance to rest up and recover. Since Divine refused to use condoms (which was weird because he’d used them with her in the past and not had any evident problems), Seria had thought that surely he wasn’t stupid enough to take any risks during that week.

Apparently, he had been.

“Where is she now?” he asked, voice dangerously quiet.

Seria had left her in the infirmary, and said as much, realizing too late that maybe it would have been better to wait until he cooled down a bit.

He shoved her aside and stomped out of the office, as angry as Seria had been when she entered it. She could have gone after him immediately, attempted to calm him enough so he wouldn’t say anything to Aki that he might regret later…but she didn’t. Later, she wasn’t sure why.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

“You’ve put on weight,” Divine had commented, while the two of them had been discussing Aki’s training. It wasn’t like he’d said it in a mean tone of voice, but Aki was still a little offended. What did that have to do with anything?!

Divine held up his hands. “Now don’t give me that look. I’m only trying to help you. You said that you’ve felt off-balance over the last few weeks. Perhaps that’s why.”

As always, he’d been right…both that she shouldn’t have taken it personally and about the weight. That night, when Aki got back to her room, she noticed that a spare kilo or two had indeed accumulated on her abdomen, which was virtually undetectable under her clothing. Although this was disconcerting, it wasn’t too surprising. Aki had always had an enormous sweet tooth and adored the Austrian desserts with hard-to-pronounce names that made regular appearances at the dining hall…things like sachertorte and apfelstrudel and kaiserschmarrn. Lately, she’d been craving sugar so much that she often had seconds. Well, that had an easy fix, albeit an agonizing one. She would abstain from sweets, be careful about what she ate otherwise, and lace her corset tighter... both to shrink her waistline and decrease her appetite. The weight would come off in no time, she was certain.

Except that it didn’t. Two weeks of deprivation later and, if anything, she looked fatter! Although Divine hadn’t said anything further on the subject, she knew he was keeping track. The thought of him being repelled by her appearance was too much for her to bear. Thankfully, she was due for her next birth control shot soon, and resolved to bring it up then.

“Um…so…” she said while Seria prepared her injection in the infirmary. “I have a question. Could the shots be making me fat?”

Seria looked at her oddly, setting the syringe aside. “What are you talking about? You’re not fat.”

“Yes I am!” Aki insisted. With a bit of fumbling, she managed to reach behind her and unlace her corset, letting it fall onto the exam table. She encircled the disgusting lump with her hands to emphasize it. “See?”

Seria’s hand flew up to her mouth, and Aki flushed in shame. She looked so hideous that even the Arcadia Movement’s no-nonsense head medic was grossed out by it! She was expecting a lecture on diet and exercise. What Seria said next seemed like a non-sequitur.

“Aki, when was your last period?”

She tried to remember. “Two, three months ago? I wasn’t keeping track. You said they might get really light or stop altogether on the shot.” And good riddance, too. Her cycle had been almost intolerable before.

“So I did,” Seria replied, although Aki thought that she hadn’t been paying much attention. She then started asking her about some other symptoms, none of which seemed to be a big deal on their own. It was true that she’d had an intermittent upset stomach recently, to the point of throwing up once or twice. However, that had never been uncommon for her, particularly when she’d first joined the Movement. Same with the dizziness and fatigue after training, constipation, anxious bladder, skin outbreaks, crying easily…all of these were things that happened to her fairly often and were usually associated with stress. On second thought, though, it was weird that she was saying “Yes” to so many of them at the same time, when things weren’t especially stressful except for trying to lose weight.

Seria’s frown had deepened with each positive response. Then she’d had Aki pee into a cup, without telling her what it was for. She took the cup and went into a side room for several minutes. Aki wondered if she might be testing it for a UTI. She’d already had one about six months ago, after she’d been too lazy to get up and use the bathroom after sex like she knew she was supposed to. But if that was indeed what Seria was doing, why hadn’t she said so?

By the time she came back out, Aki was getting irritated about being left out of the loop.

“Hey! Stop ignoring me! Don’t you think I have a right to know what’s going on? Am I dying or something?”

Seria didn’t answer her. Instead, she stomped out of the exam room.

All Aki could do was wait. She considered giving up and leaving, but she still hadn’t gotten the shot and she wanted to find out what was happening. When she heard more heavy footsteps outside the room, she assumed that it was Seria coming back. Instead, it was Divine.

She smiled. He would help her get to the bottom of this. That was their whole thing: complete honesty with each other about everything.

“What’s going on?” she asked him. “Seria wouldn’t tell me any…” The rest of what she was going to say died in her throat when she looked more carefully at Divine’s face. It was dark with rage.

“What are you playing at?!” he demanded. Aki wasn’t sure how she should respond. He rarely got mad at her, and when he did, he never raised his voice like this.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she tried, keeping her own tone quiet and nonthreatening. If anything, though, this served to provoke him further. He walked across the room so quickly that it looked like he’d leapt forward.

“DON’T YOU LIE TO ME, YOU BITCH!” he shouted. He grabbed her upper arms and squeezed hard, ignoring her cry of fear and pain. “You knew exactly what you were doing! Did you want more attention? Is that it? Was what I was already giving you not enough, hm?! ANSWER ME!”

It felt like Divine was about to snap her arm bones in two. His voice was as loud as a thunderclap right beside her ear, his face was red, and all his teeth were showing. She couldn’t bear to look at him.

This wasn’t right. This couldn’t be happening. She would have been less surprised had a meteorite crashed into the room. Her gentle, soft-spoken lover, who gave her presents and kisses and earth-shattering orgasms, turned into this? Although she knew she should be begging his forgiveness for whatever unknown thing she’d done wrong, her mind was a blank. Her mouth opened, then closed, then opened again. She couldn’t get any sound to come out.

All that she could think was that he was angry about her continued weight gain. That didn’t make sense with the rest of what he was saying, though.

He gave her body a vigorous shake. “I’m giving you one more chance to explain yourself. If you continue to refuse to do so, then I will be leaving right away to find a doctor who will fix this…”

The door opened. Seria. “Divine-sama, what on Earth is going on?”

Aki finally found her voice. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I know you didn’t like how I was fat, but I’ve been watching what I eat and it’s still getting worse…”

And that seemed to break whatever spell Divine had been under. The furious look on his face melted into one of confusion. He let go of her and backed away. “Wait, what?”

Seria facepalmed. “She doesn’t know. I didn’t think she was serious when…I should’ve realized that.” She turned to Aki. “My apologies for the misunderstanding. Aki…how should I put this? You’re going to have a baby.”

Aki heard yet didn’t comprehend. Her? Having a baby? Like a real baby, who cried and pooped and stuff? Seria must be joking. She was pretty sure that only people who were over eighteen and married were allowed to have babies. And anyway, she was on those shots every three months, which Divine had told her made it so she couldn’t get pregnant.

But, she remembered, there had been that one week when she’d had that awful sore throat and cough. The first day that the symptoms had finally started to subside, she’d gotten super-horny after being too sick to take care of it for so long. And she’d known that nothing would be able to satisfy this urge short of having Divine inside her. When he’d dropped by her room to check on her that afternoon, she’d begged and pleaded with him until he’d acquiesced. She’d felt much better after, in more ways than one, and Divine had worn a surgical mask so he wouldn’t get sick, so it hadn’t seemed like a big deal. She’d gotten her delayed shot the very next day.

No wonder he was angry at her; it had all been her fault. He must have also thought she’d decided to have a baby without telling him about it, and gotten pregnant on purpose. But she hadn’t.

“Just so we’re all on the same page…” Seria went on. “Am I correct when I think that your mother never spoke with you about these things, Aki? Not about babies, or periods, or sex, or…anything like that?”

Aki nodded, although she had no idea why that was relevant. She’d learned the important facts in school: babies were made when two people had sex and an egg and a sperm got together. And of course, Divine always answered any questions she had and patiently talked her through how to give pleasure…as well as receive it. Wasn’t that enough?

“…Right,” Divine sighed. He turned to face the wall and took several deep breaths. When he turned back and looked at Aki again, the familiar fond smile was back on his face.

He squeezed in next to her on the table. “Please, forgive me. I was caught by surprise, that’s all. Anyway…how far along is she, Seria?”

“About 14 or 15 weeks out from LMP, I’d guess,” Seria stated. “It’s still early enough that termination is an option.”

“Well, let’s not be hasty. Aki, what do you think? Should we continue the pregnancy or not?”

Aki didn’t want to think; he’d promised her that she’d never have to do that again! She wished that she could go to Daimon Area and forget everything that had happened in the past half hour; that, or go to bed and fall asleep until everything was back to normal.

“I want to have your baby,” she finally murmured. This was what she was thinking, albeit one of many, sometimes contradictory, thoughts that were all clamoring for her attention at the same time. However, she assumed that this would be what he’d like to hear her say, since he wasn’t mad about it anymore.

“And there we have it.” Divine gave her bump a pat and wrapped his other arm around her body, although that hurt Aki because of the bruises forming on her arms where he’d gripped them.

“The Director won’t like this,” Seria commented.

Divine retorted, “The Director doesn’t need to know.” Then, “Could the last shot have hurt the baby?”

Seria assured him, “It shouldn’t.”

Aki noted that neither of them brought up that she drank a glass or two of wine whenever she had dinner in Divine’s room. She knew that that could hurt the baby as well, but if they weren’t going to mention it, she’d keep her mouth shut.

While she was still stuck on the whole “having a baby” thing, Divine was thinking ahead as usual.

“All right. Here’s the plan. Aki, you will need to stay inside until the baby comes. That’s for, what, the next six months or so? We’ll try to have your checkups in here too. You will get plenty of rest and be assigned to light training only. No more worrying. And no more desserts, either. You’re at increased risk for developing diabetes.”

All of this sounded very boring to Aki. She rose from her seat and said, “I’m going out.” Surely she’d still have today to clear her mind. It wasn’t like she’d show under her robes yet.

“No you’re not,” Divine told her. “The plan is effective immediately.”

So she sat back down, this time on his lap. She buried her face in the curve of his neck, breathing in the lingering scent of his aftershave. Although she feared that new side of him she’d seen, she still craved his touch.

“There…” he whispered. “That’s my sweet and clever girl, carrying my child. No, don’t start crying. You don’t need to be nervous, or afraid. Just relax, and I’ll handle things for you. I’ve always done that before, haven’t I?”

Aki paid partial attention as the adults continued to discuss adult things such as trust funds and getting bloodwork done and when to break the news to everyone else in the building. She was fatigued from the excitement, and finally did start to relax from Divine’s soft rubbing of her back.

Maybe he had a point about the resting. She drifted off to sleep, letting them take care of everything just as Divine had told her to.

It wasn’t like she had a choice.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

“Divine? Can I ask you a question?”

She felt a little puff of air on her neck as he chuckled. “Technically, you already did. But what is it?”

“What’s Sisi?” She’d heard him call her that many times, although she’d never been able to work up the courage to ask him before. Tonight, they’d just had sex and were both relaxed and spooning in bed. Divine had a hand on her belly and had been able to feel their unborn child kicking for the first time. He was obviously in a good mood, so she’d decided to chance it.

“Not a what. A who,” he informed her. “Sisi was a Kaiserin–or empress–of Austria.”

“The same country where you were born,” Aki recalled.

“Exactly. She was the most beautiful woman in Europe, intelligent, a highly skilled horsewoman, always on the cutting edge of fashion…and extremely unhappy.”

Aki had liked where this little story was going until that last part. “Why was she unhappy?”

“Well..”–he paused to think and she took the opportunity to slip down further into his embrace–“There were many reasons. Her upbringing was rather provincial and she never liked life in the Hofburg…that’s the big palace in Vienna. She had an overbearing mother-in-law. Two of her four children predeceased her. What I think is that, most of all, it was because no one understood her.”

She spun around to face him. “And I remind you of her?”

“No, my sweet girl.” He cupped her face in one large hand and tilted it upward, giving her a quick peck on the lips. “She reminds me of you.”

Aki couldn’t quite puzzle out what the difference was, although she contented herself with the knowledge that, unlike this Kaiserin, she had exactly one person who understood her…

----------------------------------------------------------------------

After fifteen minutes of trying to force her aching feet into her favorite chunky red heels, Aki gave up and kicked the shoes across the rug with a snarl. She was sick of…of all of this! The swelling, and her acne-ridden skin, and barely being able to go half an hour without rushing to the bathroom, and the ridiculous waddling and everything. She couldn’t use her typical strategy of going outside to let off some steam; trips to Daimon Area were strictly forbidden in her condition. Or, as Divine would like to say, verboten.

He was no help either, because he spent all his time in his office. Tomorrow, on Halloween no less, he would be leaving on like his ten millionth business trip this year–this one to Thailand. What was more, he hadn’t asked her to spend the night with him in weeks…not even on his birthday two days ago.

She glanced at the full-length mirror on her door, which was a mistake. There was the reason he was ignoring her. Those pictures she’d seen online of radiant expecting mothers cradling their tummy bumps looked nothing like her reality. On her slight frame, the effect was almost comical, like some kid playing at being pregnant by shoving a large balloon under their shirt. And honestly, that wasn’t too far from the truth.

She bent down to try to get one of her shoes to throw against the mirror; of course, she couldn’t reach it. Instead, she punched the glass, satisfied when a network of cracks appeared yet a little disappointed that she hadn’t cut herself.

That was it. Her back was killing her, and everyone had been urging her to rest, so she would do just that. She’d change from these icky maternity clothes back into her pajamas and spend the whole day in bed, having breakfast and lunch brought up, and no one could do anything about it! And when she’d eventually have to venture out for dinner, she’d wear her slippers into the dining hall whether Divine liked it or not.

She’d like to see him try to be pregnant and do any better…even though she knew she shouldn’t be having such nasty thoughts about her savior…

----------------------------------------------------------------------

No no no. This was all wrong! This couldn’t happen now. Divine wouldn’t be due back from his overseas business trip for another two days, and he’d said he was going to be there with her. She wouldn’t be able to do it if he wasn’t!

The contractions had begun about half an hour before lights-out on this rainy night. She’d lain in her bed completely still, legs clamped shut, the howling wind outside her window her sole companion. The hope had been that if she ignored the pain, it’d prove to be a false alarm like the book Divine had gotten her mentioned. However, it hadn’t stopped; it had only gotten worse. And then, while she’d been forced to get up and walk to the bathroom, the pain had become too much for to bear quietly any longer.

Okita, who had been on guard duty, had heard her and knocked on her bedroom door, asking if she was all right. When she hadn’t answered, he’d gotten Hiroshi, who in turn had unlocked the door with his master key, taken one look at her lying on the floor, and gotten Seria. They’d rushed her to the infirmary in a wheelchair. And now here she was in this empty room; the other overnight occupants had been kicked out to give her some semblance of privacy. Everything was too white and too clean, and all the machines scared her.

Aki wasn’t letting them touch her; not after Seria had said she was going to do a “cervix check,” which Aki hadn’t known involved painfully inserting two fingers deep into her. She made sure that no one else could approach her. Not when Hiroshi had told her that the doctor needed to ask some questions. Not even when someone else said that they had something that would help with the pain. When anyone got within a meter or so, she didn’t care who it was…she lashed out without looking.

She wasn’t sure how long she’d stayed in this curled position, shield surrounding her. Things were getting to the point where she knew that she couldn’t maintain it forever. This was going a lot faster than the book had led her to believe, with next to no space between contractions. With growing embarrassment, she realized that she’d been so scared that she’d peed herself. Or had that been her water breaking? There was something moving down lower and lower inside her, and she didn’t want it to…not yet…

Then, hurried footsteps outside. The door being flung open. And a stern voice saying, “Aki. Calm yourself.”

It was him! She instantly let her shield fall. There, standing in the doorway, was the man she loved, the father of her child.

“You’re here,” she breathed.

“Of course I am, Sisi,” he replied. He looked like he’d just jumped into a swimming pool fully-clothed. His face, which had been lined with tension, relaxed into a soft smile. In an instant, he was at the bedside, taking her hand in his. “You didn’t think I was going to make you go through this alone, did you? I dropped everything and rushed home as soon as I heard. Now, if you’ll scoot over a little bit, I can…”

There wasn’t enough space for her to move far, but he managed to get up on the bed and lie balanced on the edge of it anyway. Spooning her, he enfolded her into his arms as she was hit with a strong contraction, planting kisses on the top of her head and whispering to her about how brave she was.

And…the amazing thing was that she began to feel brave. He always knew exactly what to say. Although he had initially felt cold because of the water, his body heat quickly warmed things up. In this all-too-brief lull, she melted into his embrace. Even the strong smell of wet wool from his camelhair coat, which she would normally consider unpleasant, soothed her.

Although she knew the real trial was still to come, everything would be okay now that Divine was with her…

----------------------------------------------------------------------

As soon as Divine switched his phone off airplane mode, he had been bombarded by dozens of texts and missed calls. He ignored them, shoving the phone in his coat pocket so the noise wouldn’t continue to bother him. Surely, he thought, whatever it was could wait.

All he wanted to do was get home and go to sleep. This latest trip had been to Bangkok, and he loathed that city. He looked forward to the day where he’d be high enough up in the global hierarchy that he could set the places where the meetings were held.

At least the next one was going to be in Paris, a much more agreeable destination for him. And at least he’d made a couple of good sales. In fact, business had gone so smoothly that he’d been able to leave a little ahead of schedule. But his jet’s landing had been delayed by the remnants of a late-season typhoon that were currently drenching Neo Domino. Now it was past four in the morning. He was so exhausted during the car ride home, lulled by the pounding of raindrops on the windows, that he caught himself nodding off more than once. (Good thing that he had a driver.)

Alas, his long-awaited rest was not to be. As the car drove past the main entrance on the way to the underground garage, Divine saw that Hiroshi was standing there waiting for him. His lieutenant, the only person whom Divine had informed of his early return, knew that he liked his peace and quiet after getting back from these grueling trips. This was doubly true given the terrible weather and obscenely late/early hour. Therefore, he would not be doing this unless there was a matter that required Divine’s immediate attention.

“Let me off here,” he sighed. Not bothering to open an umbrella, he strode up the steps and grumbled at Hiroshi, “This had better be good.”

“It’s Subject Zero,” Hiroshi told him. “She’s in labor.”

Shit. This was early, wasn’t it? Two weeks, maybe even closer to three. He had kept his schedule clear of further trips until a week after the due date in an attempt to avoid this exact scenario.

The glass doors practically blew themselves open in the howling wind, and they hurried inside.

“Well, first labors take a while, don’t they?” Divine reasoned aloud. If he could go upstairs and get a few of hours of rest in before they really needed him…

His hopes were crushed as Hiroshi shook his head. “Usually they do. But not in this case. She’s in active labor, possibly in transition. We don’t know for sure because she’s not letting anyone near her. You’ll see when we get there. She already hit me once.” He turned to show Divine the torn sleeve and bloody welt on his upper arm. “Got Seria smack in the middle of her face, too. She had to go back to her room and heal.”

Divine knew that Hiroshi was not speaking about Aki striking people with her fists. That girl was going to test every last ounce of his patience this morning, wasn’t she? If Seria had abandoned ship, it must be bad. Part of him entertained the idea of skipping the whole thing and letting the medical staff handle it. Then, after it was over, he’d pretend he’d just gotten back, and Aki would be none the wiser. However, a promise was a promise, especially when made to this girl. Mind thus made up, he set off in the direction of the infirmary at a brisk pace. Hiroshi had to jog a little to keep up with him. Both of them had been drenched in the short amount of time they’d spent in the rain and left a trail of water droplets on the floor behind them.

“Tell me what happened,” he commanded as the two of them got in the elevator.

Hiroshi’s report was as thorough as usual. He had found Aki on the floor of her room a little after midnight, writhing in pain, he’d said. She either could not or would not tell them how long she’d been in labor before then. As she had already been five or six centimeters dilated when they’d found her, though, they could surmise that it had been a while. The uncertainty on the exact dilation was because Aki had, in medical parlance, “tolerated the exam poorly.” That was when Seria had gotten a face full of Rose Tentacles for her troubles.

This was the first baby to be born into the Arcadia Movement, and they were playing everything by ear. Seria had said that she wasn’t comfortable performing a C-section if it was indicated, so they’d had to locate an obstetrician from an outside hospital. Hiroshi, always efficient, had found one within an hour; even a female obstetrician to help Aki feel more comfortable. As had been previously discussed, they had procured the equipment needed for their in-house anesthesia team to do an epidural block, which they hadn’t been certain they’d be able to find since these weren’t often done electively in Japan. And all of that hard work had been for nothing since the patient refused to cooperate.

The hallway leading to the infirmary was crowded with Arcadia members. Hiroshi had said that he’d given everyone over age twelve special permission to leave their rooms after curfew tonight, on the condition that they stayed in this area. Some were praying at a hastily set-up kamidana. Others were reading or whispering amongst themselves. All had an intent ear turned towards the muffled cries of agony coming from behind the door.

“Move,” Divine ordered tersely. With murmurs of “Divine-sama,” they cleared the way. Hiroshi opted to stay behind with the rest of them. Divine noted that this master of composure looked almost as if he wanted to throw up. It was odd that he’d be squeamish about this when he’d witnessed deaths before. Was the mere thought of seeing a vagina that repulsive to him?

When Divine opened the door, though, his musings about Hiroshi’s preferences were wiped from his mind. He gazed upon the large egg-shaped arrangement of thorny vines resting near the head of the bed. They were positioned in such a way that one could easily unfold and be used as a whip…as Hiroshi and Seria had found out the hard way. The thorns were already tearing holes in the sheets.

Divine was surprised to note that, while Aki’s deck was sitting on the night table, it was still tucked away into its holder and there was no sign of her duel disk. Interesting. Before he could think more about the many implications of that, though, he’d have to bring this little standoff to an end.

“Aki. Calm yourself,” he said. That had come out a bit more harshly than he had intended, but it did the trick. The vines receded, revealing the nightgown-clad girl in their midst.

She looked pathetic, Divine thought. Skin pale and covered in a sheen of sweat, hair a frizzy and damp mess, eyes wide as they met his, shaking like that demented Chihuahua his mother had owned …was this truly Izayoi Aki, the Black Rose Witch, Scourge of Daimon Area?

However, he did not let any of his true feelings show. He told her what he knew she wanted to hear, hoping that in her distracted state she would never realize that there was no way he could have been aware that she was in labor before he got on the plane. A few words of encouragement and some physical contact…this was all that was ever needed to bring this affection-starved girl out of one of her episodes.

“Feeling better?” he asked.

“M-hm.”

“Good. Now how about letting this doctor…what is your name?”

“Ichikawa,” the middle-aged and bespectacled woman answered. She was already gowned, gloved, and masked up. Although she looked tired and there was fear in her eyes, she kept her head remarkably well for a person who had been kidnapped at knifepoint and forced into a car a few hours prior. It seemed Hiroshi had found someone who was much like himself in personality…which was exactly what they needed when dealing with someone as emotional as Aki.

“Thank you. Let’s allow Dr. Ichikawa to examine you, all right?” Divine made a move to get up from this uncomfortable position and sit in a chair instead. Aki whined in protest.

It appeared that he’d have no choice other than to hold her through the entire ordeal. And, he realized, the only way that was feasible was if he sat at the head of the bed, behind her. After some tricky maneuvering due to the small amount of room and his long legs, he managed to wedge himself in there. He also grabbed a couple of towels from the side table to put on his lap. Having done his research, he was aware that this process would result in a lot of blood at the very least…and possibly other bodily substances as well.

She is really making me work for this, isn’t she?

Dr. Ichikawa had some good news for them.

“You are at least nine centimeters dilated–probably closer to nine and a half–and 100 percent effaced,” she said to Aki. “Progressing quickly for a first-timer, especially considering…well. At any rate, you should be ready to push soon.”

A quick glance at his smartphone informed Divine that it was a quarter to five. If this was over within the next hour, he thought, maybe he could get some decent sleep in and still aim to wake up before noon. Then he and Hiroshi could go over the profit margins after the recent sales at around one, leaving him the whole afternoon to start getting caught up on paperwork and phone calls before dinner. Of course, sometime today he also had to visit two of his young charges and tell them to pack up their things for their journey to a new home tomorrow…

His train of thought was halted by Aki emitting an unearthly sound somewhere between a growl and a screech. At the same time, the lights flickered. Because of the storm, or something else?

“Ssh. It’s okay. We’re all okay,” he told her. Then, to the doctor, “I heard mention of an epidural; can we do that now?”

The doctor shook her head. “There wouldn’t be enough time for it to fully take effect.”

Always making things more difficult for yourself, Aki. Had she allowed this to be performed earlier, she would likely be in little to no pain. Perhaps this had a silver lining…for him, at least. He’d brought her to what he had thought were her limits before. If it turned out that her potential was even greater in an extreme situation such as this, well, it’d be foolish of him to not take advantage of this, wouldn’t it?

Another contraction. More screaming. When Divine laid a hand on Aki’s belly, he could feel the muscles clenching hard as iron. He found this to be strangely exhilarating.

“I need to push now,” Aki gasped out.

“We just checked you a few minutes ago,” Dr. Ichikawa argued. “I don’t think you’re ready yet. If you start too soon, you might injure your cervix.”

Aki’s head snapped towards the older woman; although Divine didn’t have a clear view of her eyes in this position, he could imagine the fire in them.

“I DON’T CARE! I NEED. TO PUSH. NOW!” she bellowed. That was more like the Aki he knew.

“You heard her,” was all he added.

Dr. Ichikawa blinked and took half a step back, due to both the bizarreness of this situation she’d been dropped into and not being accustomed to her patients talking back like that. However, she quickly regained her bearings and checked again, saying something about an “anterior lip” and the possibility of working around it. By this point, Aki was so far-gone that Divine doubted she cared about the invasive exams anymore.

In the end, she got her way and the pushing stage commenced. Throughout the whole process, he held her snugly in the crook of one arm, the way she preferred, making his free hand available for her to grasp when needed. He kissed her and whispered the things he was supposed to, like You’re doing great and Almost there and I’m so proud of you. The majority of his attention, though, was focused on the lights. He was able to determine that the flickering lined up perfectly with her contractions...or, more specifically, whenever she bore down. Initially, these outages lasted mere fractions of a second. As time went on, they were sustained for a full second, then multiple seconds, then close to a minute…

Banging on the door. “Sir! The energy readings are off the chart!”

“Yes. I know,” Divine answered. “But we’re a little busy at the moment.” Aki punctuated his reply with a perfectly-timed primal roar.

However, this person (was he really expected to be able to identify everyone who worked here by voice alone?) remained persistent.

”Divine-sama, if Director Godwin calls, what should we tell him?”

“You think of something,” he ordered, although what he wanted to say was, “Tell him to go fuck himself.” He wasn’t sure whether the guy sensed that line of thought or was simply freaked out, but he didn’t bother them again.

Meanwhile, Dr. Ichikawa kept telling Aki not to scream, that it was counterproductive, to breathe through it instead. However, her admonishments were of no avail. It was getting close now, and whatever relief this process may have offered Aki at the outset was likely wearing off.

“Oh, let her do what she wants,” Divine sighed after several of these reprimands. With this barrage of loud noise close to his ears, there was little danger of him falling asleep. And looking at her progressively reddening face and the cords standing out on her neck, not to mention contemplating the excruciating pain she had to be in, continued to fascinate him.

After a long half hour of this, the doctor announced, “All right. We’re crowning. Little pushes, please; we don’t want tearing.”

Aki began to cry. “It hurts! I can’t do it!”

Divine knew he should be joining the doctor in telling her that of course she could do it, that she was stronger than she thought, et cetera. However, he had to focus his attention on finding the perfect opportunity for his little experiment. At the very next contraction, he got it.

Everything reached a crescendo. As the head was delivered, Aki let out a noise that Divine wouldn’t have previously thought a human capable of making. The lights in the room went off and stayed off. In addition, the light fixtures shattered, sending glass raining down onto the floor. Tables crashed against walls and medical instruments flew everywhere. The room was plunged into darkness, there were confused cries verging on panic from the hallway spectators, and Divine felt a wave of pure psychic power that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. It was beautiful.

Working quickly, he put up a shield so none of the three of them would get hit, then whispered a single word into her ear… the first one he could think of that seemed appropriate for the situation. And then, the moment was over. Aki used the last of her strength to bring their son into the world in a rush of fluid.

Silence. Divine could see the child making the motions of breathing, but knew that wouldn’t sustain him for long. The indomitable Dr. Ichikawa, whom he hadn’t bothered shielding, sprang into action. Although she was bleeding profusely from a scalp wound, she took no time to attend to it. Drops of blood mingled with her hair and mask. A few ran all the way down onto the bedding, although she managed to keep any of it from falling on either of her patients. She cleared the baby’s nose and mouth with a suction bulb and rubbed his body with a towel. For the briefest of instants, Divine wondered if he’d gone too far…and then, the baby let out an irritated little wail.

At that moment, he came dangerously close to feeling actual emotion.

It was okay. They could relax. The child was going to be all right, the backup generator had just turned on, and Aki, who had been slumped over in a dead faint in Divine’s arms, started stirring.

“What happened…?” she muttered sleepily.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

An entire, goop-encrusted, teeny-tiny human lay screaming on Aki’s chest, and she wasn’t certain how it had gotten there. The last thing she could remember was yelling at the doctor and that all-consuming urge. Next thing she knew, there was a huge spattering of blood on the bed (certainly that couldn’t all be hers?) and the whole room was a mess.

“Divine? What happened?” she repeated. She’d lost most of her voice.

“You don’t have to worry about a thing,” he told her. “It’s all over, and you did splendidly.” He tilted her chin up with his finger, and her eyes met shimmering green ones.

“It’s a boy, right?” she went on. She knew that Divine had wanted a son; he’d been so excited when the ultrasound had revealed that she was carrying one.

He gave her that smile that made her heart melt whenever she saw it. “He is indeed.” Leaning down a bit, he kissed her gently on the mouth. “You are such an adorable little thing, do you know that?”

Aki felt like she would have burst out into song if she’d had the energy left for it. Here she lay, safe in her lover’s arms, with the knowledge that she’d done everything right and made him happy. Divine had given her the world, and now she had started to pay it back. Her pregnancy had been unplanned, and had taken its toll on her both physically and emotionally. Despite this, she thought, her suffering had been worth it.

She looked back down at the baby. While he was still small and wrinkly and almost alien-looking, her joy was compounded when he opened his eyes and she saw that they were just like Divine’s. (Wasn’t there a song somewhere that had a line to that effect? Or was she completely delirious and imagining it?)

Dr. Ichikawa, who was pressing a cloth against her forehead with one hand and holding a stethoscope on the baby’s chest with the other, said, “Well done, Aki. He’s breathing beautifully and moving all his limbs. It’s time to cut the cord.”

“…Right,” Divine answered. Aki felt a twinge of disappointment as he set her back down on the pillows and got off the bed. “The people outside will be waiting for news.”

Once the cord had been clamped and cut (Divine did this himself), and the baby weighed, measured, and swaddled, the proud father took the child in his arms and left the room to show him off. Aki heard him announce, “A healthy boy!” as well as the wild cheering that followed.

They’d cared about what would happen to her. They loved her.

She continued to listen. Divine said, evidently in response to a query, “No, there’s no reason for alarm. We had a power surge, that’s all. Maintenance is looking into it already. Everything went quickly and smoothly otherwise.”

However, “everything” wasn’t done happening quite yet for Aki. While everyone else was celebrating out there, she had to deal with the afterbirth coming out (ouch), and using a bedpan. (Double ouch.) The doctor told her that she’d been fortunate to not sustain any tearing that required stitches. Really? Could’ve fooled her with how much it smarted.

She saw Dr. Ichikawa staring at her as she helped her back into bed, and snapped, “What?”

“I’d heard of you. I never thought you’d be so…” She reconsidered. “No, forget I said that. I know it must feel to you like no one in the city is on your side, but…as soon as you can, leave and get help. Please. Go to the hospital, or Security. There are people there who will be happy to assist you.”

“I’m not leaving!” Aki said instantly. She’d wanted to keep her voice calm and cold, as befitted the Black Rose Witch; instead, it came out hoarse and almost hysterical. “Why would I ever want to do that?! This is my home, and I love it, and I love Divine. You’re judging him when you haven’t properly met him. Maybe you shouldn’t stick your nose where it doesn’t belong!”

The noise outside dropped briefly–she wondered if they’d heard her–but everyone picked up where they’d left off within seconds.

“Just think about it?” Dr. Ichikawa urged.

“Okay,” Aki mumbled, albeit only to get her to shut up.

Despite her ringing defense of Divine, he was gone for what seemed like a very long time, and the euphoria started to wear off. She was exhausted, bleeding heavily, sore all over her body, and felt irritated that he wasn’t here with her. This creature hadn’t been out of her body for half an hour yet, and she was already starting to resent it.

She was immediately ashamed of herself. That was such a horrible thing to think! Divine was probably making sure that everyone could get a good look. All she’d have to do was be patient, and he’d be back.

And he was, but his attention was still focused on the baby. He had the doctor take pictures of the two of them, and then he handed the bundle back to Aki and pointed his smartphone at her, telling her to smile. She tried her best.

“His name will be Adam,” he told her a short while later, as Aki was attempting a first feeding. “Fitting, wouldn’t you agree?”

She was ashamed to admit that she didn’t entirely know what he was talking about. Some sort of Christian thing, right? However, she smiled and nodded anyway. Adam finally latched on, and even that hurt a bit.

After dismissing Dr. Ichikawa from the room, Divine put one hand on her shoulder and the other on the head of the bed and watched intently. Aki saw his throat working before he spoke. “I’m granting you increased privileges. From now on, you’ll be attending board meetings with me. You’ll have your own smartphone. You may give orders to virtually anyone in the building, and I will ensure that they treat you with the respect that’s due. I’ll also be moving you into my rooms. We will be together every night now…as long as I don’t have to work late or go on a business trip. And I’m inclined to take you along with me on my next one of those as well. Paris, just in time for Christmas...our anniversary. Doesn’t that sound nice?”

It did. She loved listening to his stories about Europe. He’d made it sound almost like a fantasy fairyland, and she’d always thought about what it’d be like to see it for herself. Nevertheless, the thought of them being able to eat dinner together every night instead of her having to endure the crowded dining hall, of Divine being an arm’s reach away whenever she had nightmares, of them cuddling and “doing it” whenever they wanted…that had been her greatest wish of all, now granted. Her heart swelled with love. Double shame on her for ever being mad at him.

“Hold on a minute,” he said. “I’m going to get you something.” He disappeared into the infirmary bathroom and returned in a moment with a tall glass of water.

“I need you to drink all of this, okay? You had a big workout and we don’t want you getting dehydrated.”

She took it from him. When the cool liquid touched her lips, she realized how thirsty she’d been. Her throat was raw from the screaming, too, and the water felt like heaven against it. She easily drained the glass as instructed.

“There,” Divine said, looking pleased as he took the empty glass back. “We’ll have to see about getting you something to eat, too, when you feel up to it. Something with a lot of protein. Chicken soup, perhaps. And maybe some dessert for a job well done, hm?”

Aki nodded again, relieved that the possibility of developing gestational diabetes (of which he had constantly reminded her) was no longer hanging over her head. Wait…why was she tired all of a sudden? She could barely keep her eyes open.

“I have to go to sleep,” she informed Divine.

He nodded. “Of course. It’s to be expected. Get some rest.”

The last thing she was aware of was Divine taking Adam from her and whispering, “Good night, Sisi.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------

When she woke up, she was in a fresh bed and wearing clean pajamas. Seria was sitting at the bedside. 

“Good morning!” she chirped, as if half-scabbed over wounds from Aki’s thorns weren’t littering her face.  “Or I think it might be getting on afternoon now.”

Aki groaned.  Somehow, she hurt more now than immediately after the birth, and the huge pad she had to wear was itching like crazy.  She’d scared Seria, hadn’t she?  The older woman hadn’t been in the room for the delivery.  Does she think I’m a monster now, too?

Seria was going on about how her soup was waiting for her in the kitchen and she’d send someone to get it.  Aki wasn’t paying much attention.  As her vision cleared, she saw that there wasn’t anyone other than the two of them in the room.  No Dr. Ichikawa.  No Divine.  And no Adam. 

“Where’s my baby?!” she cried, flailing under the covers as she attempted to sit up. 

“Oh, you don’t have to worry,” Seria said.  “He’s doing great.  He’s with his caretakers now; they’re getting him set up in his own room…”

She was trying to sound nonchalant.  Aki saw right through it.  “I want my baby!”

Yes, she knew she sounded a bit like a child herself, but…she was Adam’s mother!  He must be starving by now; she’d have to feed him again soon…

And, just like that, Seria’s thin veneer of pleasantry cracked.  She rolled her eyes and punched in a number on her cell phone.  “Hiroshi?  Yeah, it’s me.  We’re having a scene in the infirmary.  Could you…?”  She paused.  “Yes, I know he won’t be happy.  Just get him down here.”

This only served to make Aki angrier.  Those two always talked about her like she wasn’t in the room.  But if Divine was coming back here, maybe things wouldn’t be so bad.  He would sort this out, right? 

Ten minutes later, he did appear at the door, carrying the covered tray of food himself…and without Adam.  His hair, normally perfectly styled, was rumpled, as if he too had just woken up. 

“Room service,” he announced with a wry little smile, proffering the tray.  When she made no move to take it, though, he started to look annoyed like Seria had.

“Yes?  What’s the problem?”

“They took Adam away,” she told him, trying to keep her voice level and mature-sounding this time.  “I need to take care of him.”

Divine ordered Seria to leave.  Once she was out of the room, he set the tray down on the table and grabbed Aki’s hand. 

“There seems to have been a misunderstanding.  Oh, Aki, did you honestly think I was going to put that responsibility on your shoulders?  Caring for a baby is hard work and a full-time job.  If you did that, you’d be changing diapers and breastfeeding around the clock, you’d get barely any sleep, and you wouldn’t be able to go to Daimon Area whenever you wanted.  Let me worry about that too, okay?  You should concentrate on healing and resuming your normal life…like this never happened.”

It made sense, the same as always.  So why did she still feel this sad?  A tear rolled down her cheek before she could stop it. 

“Now, no more of this,” Divine said as he wiped the tear off with one finger.  “It’s only hormones; we’ve discussed this many times before.  Everything is fine.  There are millions of new mothers in this world who would give anything to be in your position.   We’ll set up a visit later, and Seria will show you how to use a pump if you want to help with feeding.  But first, you need to eat.  And then you have some fanmail to open.”

“…Fanmail?” She was lost. 

 “Indeed.  The children got the day off from school and were provided with supplies to make cards for you if they wished.  Most of them chose to do so; they found the report of your courage to be inspiring.  Surely, they are hoping that you will look at their efforts as soon as possible.”

Aki got the hint and obediently took the tray.  When she lifted the lid, a cloud of steam from the soup hit her face.  The tray also contained a small wedge of sachertorte, as promised. 

He stayed in the room and watched until she’d eaten most of the bowl of soup.  It smelled wonderful and had been prepared the way she liked it–with turmeric and fresh ginger–but she scarcely noticed. 

Had hormones truly made this knot in her stomach and hole in her heart?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

How rude of him to keep their guest waiting like that.  His entire day had been filled with getting the baby’s care set up, making repeated trips to the infirmary to deal with Aki’s whining, and trying to cram in the dreaded paperwork edgewise.  He’d been so busy that he’d forgotten all about Dr. Ichikawa until it was night again.  This needed to be remedied immediately.

Divine reminded himself to smile as he opened the door to the holding chamber, where the doctor was sitting on the bed.  He noted with some amusement that someone had cleaned and dressed the doctor’s scalp laceration.

“Hello, Ichikawa-sensei,” he said.  “I have some good news for you: you get to go home now.  Please follow us down to the garage.  A car will be waiting there.”

Dr. Ichikawa smiled back, relieved.  “Thank you.”

They took the elevator down as he’d said; little did the doctor know that they were not going to the garage.  Instead, their destination was a tiny windowless room, empty except for one chair. 

The doctor caught on right away, before the guards grabbed her arms.  “Wha…no, please!  No!  I won’t tell anyone anything!  I promise!”

Oh, now she lost her composure?  She should have known that her fate had been sealed after her attempts to get Aki to run away, which Divine had half-heard from the hallway.  Not that he had ever planned to let her live before that.  No matter what she might say to the contrary, he was aware that doctors were required by law to report that sort of thing. 

Kidnapping her had been a waste, he thought, since there had been no need for surgery after all.

As entertaining as it was to hear people plead for their lives, though, it did get tiring after the first few seconds.  Divine gestured to the guards, who had this down to a science by now.  They dragged the sobbing woman into the room, forced her to sit on the chair, and bound her hands.  She’d already given up the fight, as if some part of her had known all along that this was how it was going to end. 

The door slammed shut behind them with a hiss of pneumatics.  One of the guards brought out his gun and pressed it to the doctor’s head.  Divine held out a finger. 

“One moment, please.” 

Squatting down to Dr. Ichikawa’s eye level, he told her, “Thank you for your service.”  Then, to the guard with the gun, “You may fire when ready.”

He chose not to rise back to a standing position yet.  After all, his was the part he always liked the most: seeing first the hope and then the life drain out of his victim’s eyes. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Her newly raised status as the mother of Divine’s child meant that she was expected to attend strategy meetings. This had sounded super-exciting and like a huge treat when he had first mentioned it to her. However, the harsh reality was that they were often tedious to get through. They’d sit at this table–she was always on Divine’s left and Hiroshi was always on his right–and everyone else would talk about boring financial stuff while she put all her effort into staying awake. And it didn’t seem to her like they particularly wanted her to pay attention, either. Sometimes someone would ask her a question, but these were always easy for her to answer…stuff like how her training was going or how many people turned out to watch her in Daimon Area. Otherwise, she was not to speak unless spoken to.

Today’s session, though, had proven more interesting than usual. They were talking about how to attract more children to the Movement as they moved ever closer to going public. Everyone else in the room were grown-ups–aside from her, the youngest was Hiroshi and he’d recently turned twenty-six–so she thought she had a better idea of what kids liked than they did. Nevertheless, no one asked her opinion, to her immense disappointment.

She managed to hold in her words until everyone had said goodbye to everyone else about fifty times and Divine was on his way back to his office. He’d been so busy looking at his phone that he hadn’t noticed Aki was following him until they got on the elevator.

“Yes?” he asked, a little sharply. Maybe he didn’t like these meetings either. Or at least Aki hoped that this was the case and that he wasn’t annoyed at her.

“I thought of some stuff during the meeting,” she said. Her ideas came tumbling out. She launched into a breathless list of concepts, about cartoons and fashion and stuffed animals, continuing to talk all the way up to the top floor and then as she followed him down the hall to his office. It was only when they arrived at the heavy wooden double doors that Divine turned around and signaled for her to stop talking.

“That’s enough. I have a headache and I need quiet,” he snapped. Aki’s spirits took a prompt nosedive.

“I’m sorry,” she replied, trying to keep as quiet as she could and still be audible. “It was a stupid idea.” She now saw what had appeared brilliant in her head as hopelessly juvenile.

Her eyes stung, and the irritated frown on Divine’s face softened a bit.

“Thank you for trying to help,” he said. “But you remember what I said about thinking, right?”

Aki scuffed her foot on the floor as she answered, “To let you do it for me.”

“Exactly.” He rewarded her with a pat on her head. “Now go be a good girl and get some aspirin from Seria. On second thought…make it Ibuprofen.”

And that was going to be the last she saw of him for today, wasn’t it? They shared a bedroom, but Aki still had to pass her nights alone more often than not…

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Divine liked to joke that Aki could sleep through a tornado. Nevertheless, the combination of red light, high-pitched whining sound, and stinging sensation on her forearm was enough to awaken even her. She was somewhat surprised to see her partner had joined her in bed tonight; he’d still been working when she’d turned the lights out, so he must have slipped in later. As usual, he had fallen asleep mostly dressed.

He stirred and made a sleepy noise of inquiry. She ignored him. As if pulled by a magnet, she got out of bed and headed for their room’s balcony.

Since that weird vision, or acid trip, or whatever that had been two weeks ago, she’d been thinking. If it was to be believed, then she was one of the chosen few who could stop some unspecified cataclysmic event from happening. That mark had never meant anything good to her previously. In fact, at one point when she’d been around twelve, she’d gotten so frustrated with it that she’d tried to cut that patch of skin off her arm. That had caused her to bleed everywhere and had sent her to the ER; it had not, however, gotten rid of it. But what if there was a reason it was that persistent other than torturing her?

Yusei, the subject of many a disconcerting dream for her over the past two weeks, was in danger. She knew this as surely as if she were seeing it with her own eyes, although she wasn’t certain how. And she did see something off in the distance. It was some sort of image, up in the sky over where Satellite would be. Her viewing angle was not optimal, although she thought she saw what looked like a head at one end and a stylized foot at the other. Was that supposed to be a person…?

She heard footsteps, felt warmth behind her and the familiar hands on her shoulders. “Aki. What is it?”

Any other night, she would have leapt at the chance for his undivided attention. Now, though, she had the strange thought that she would rather be left alone.

“There’s a big man in the sky,” she informed him in a deadpan, pointing. She could practically hear one of Divine’s patented eyebrow raises.

“A big man in the…oh. Yes, I see it. Well, that’s nothing that you need concern yourself over.” He lowered his voice, whispering in her ear. “How about we go back to bed?”

At any other time, that would have been exactly what she wanted to hear. She knew that he wasn’t talking about sleeping. Whatever lingering doubts she may have had about his intentions were vanquished when he wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed her body flush against his.

“I’m not concerned,” she retorted automatically. To prove it, she whirled around, gave him her sweetest smile, and stood on her tiptoes to kiss him.

Aki allowed him to take her hand and lead her back into the room. They were going to have sex, and she was sure that it would be pleasurable for them both like always. This was their first time “doing it” since she’d jumped him at the Fortune Cup. She should have been ecstatic about this. However, try as she might, she couldn’t summon strong emotions either way. It wasn’t like it was a bad thing…more like it was simply another job she had to do.

They both attempted to ignore her still-active mark. She gave him a seductive pout and beckoned him closer with a finger. With a little smirk, he did exactly that. One of his hands came to rest on the small of her back, the other hand giving her hip an affectionate squeeze. Despite her inner conflict, she could feel that tickle begin to grow way down in her belly at his touch. Looking into his eyes, she managed to undo the button on his pants from feel alone, was fumbling around for the zipper…

And then his phone rang.

The mood was killed instantly. Divine muttered, “I have to answer that,” and walked over to where the phone was charging on the nightstand.

“Yes?” he said after accepting the call. “No, no, quite all right, I was already awake. Is it…” He paused for several seconds to give the person on the other end of the line a chance to talk. “I see. I’ll be down as soon as I can.”

He hung up the phone, unplugged it, and told Aki, “I need to go to the nursery for a while. He’s having a bad night.”

It was as she’d thought. Usually she got annoyed, even angry, when he interrupted their Quality Time together. Tonight, she absentmindedly waved Divine on.

She knew that he would probably intend to pick up where they’d left off once he got back…and she would not refuse him. All she wanted for the moment, though, was to return to the balcony, and wonder what she was feeling and why Fudo Yusei had had to make her life so confusing…

#yugioh 5d's #yugioh 5ds #fanfic #aki izayoi #akiza izinski #divine #sayer

[forcebewitht]

Force's Disney Geek Master Theory: Why Twisted Wonderland Is Called Twisted Wonderland

We have all grown to know and love various Disney characters over the years, correct? Yet, I believe a lot of us can argue that not many characters have the same effect on us even as adults today as the Villains do within their respective movies. In the game Disney: Twisted Wonderland as we all know and love, the select boys to Overblot are supposed to have the "souls" of their Villain counterparts, right? But...why is it called "Twisted" Wonderland, then? The truth may lie within something that has been right in front of us all along, my friends: the meaning of a mirror. Ready to buckle in for this one? If so, then here we go!

We have seen all of these guys share character traits, looks, etc with their Disney counterparts, correct? Well, what if I were to tell you that things in terms of the "main" guys that we are supposed to pay attention to aren't exactly what they seem? This could be analyzed in a few different ways, honestly, yet the most prominent way is this: the differences in their personalities- they are reversed. Let us take this bit by bit, shall we?

Ah, yes. The Queen Of Hearts. The ranting, raging, bundle of red, black, and gold we all know and love. (or else heads would roll, I'm sure) One of the things that everybody knows about her is that she's extremely hellbent on the crazy rules that she makes up and is prone to anger honestly very easily. Yeah, you can connect that to Riddle- but think about it for a second. While that rage and the rule thing is still there, it isn't as prominent with him as it was with her, is it? With the Queen of Hearts, her whole "issue" was that she wished to make everybody listen to her and follow her every command- but Riddle was essentially always following the rules of another- not his own. This seemed to make Riddle a little more calm most of the time in terms of how he handled and oversaw things. It wasn't until he actually Overblotted that the "listen to me and only me" thing came out- buuuuuuttttttt I'll get to that part in a bit.

Next: Leona and Scar. While we honestly didn't get to see a lot of what went on behind the scenes in the Outlands in terms of how Scar even met the hyenas to begin with at all, one thing can honestly be said- Scar worked very hard to get where he was. I mean, it's not like you can get an entire pack of rabid, hungry hyenas onto your side in the course of a single day, or maybe even a week (especially as a lion, no less). No, something to that extreme takes careful planning, wording, and stringing along to ensure that nothing goes wrong along the way. The way Scar spoke to Shenzi, Banzai, and Ed made it seem as though he had known them for a looooonngggg time before this- that's where that behind the scenes planning comes in. And then...you have Leona. Leona, from what we can tell in Chapter 2, planned the idea for the "endgame" alright- but he didn't actually act upon any of the plan for himself. Ruggie did. Even in the Lion King, we see that Scar had no problems whatsoever getting his paws dirty a little within his own scheme to take his "rightful place" at the head of Pride Rock- but Leona quite honestly did not a thing once Ruggie was in motion. See where this is starting to head?

Azul and Ursula. Ursula, the Disney baddie queen of my heart Ursula, the Sea Witch. She was known all around the ocean floor for helping out poor little merfolk in secret, wasn't she? Yet, nobody ever really seemed to catch wind of the whole "her turning those who didn't quite fit the bill into polyps" thing, did they? That was one of the things that made her such a honest threat to Ariel herself- because Ursula was cunning. She did things behind the scenes, and sure- we could catch onto it out in the audience (annnddd maybe Sebastian and Flounder as well), but nobody else really seemed to, right? Azul is the complete opposite in this standpoint. He instills direct fear into his "workers" and those even beyond and within his dorm. Like- basically most knew that this dude was bad news to begin with. Azul, mostly, seemed to hide his cunning facade behind a fake yet still seemingly "soft and genuine" smile and act. But all in all, he didn't really attempt to "hide" anything- hell, he even proclaimed his entire plan of what everyone with those things on their heads were gonna do for him in the open! At least when Ursula sang as Vanessa, she was in an almost perfectly enclosed room with nobody else around.

Jamil and Jafar. This comparison here, given what occurs in the movie Aladdin, is honestly one of the biggest possible indicators of this reoccuring theme I shall clarify in a bit. Jafar, while being sneaky, was known for being a more "out there" Disney Villain in terms of his personality alongside that of his partner Iago in the film. He would smile in a sinister way, he would crack jokes out in the open, and let us not forget his crazed yet oddly interesting laughter. Jamil? He's the exact opposite. Given his past and what he has had to dealt with growing up with Kalim, he is much more reserved and barely releases a chuckle or cracks a smile at all. His personality is a lot more repressed than that of Jafar himself throughout the film. Jamil has been so used to having to hold himself back thanks to his parents in favor of Kalim's family, he doesn't seem to know how to "let go" whatsoever. Yet Jafar, while still maintaining that sneaky side of him as well, has no problems whatsoever letting a little hang loose whenever he so chooses to.

Vil and the Evil Queen. This one honestly may be a bit more self explanatory than the others- but the difference between these two is their expressions of themselves. The Evil Queen was the very first animated counted Disney Villain within Disney's history- yet, she barely had any lines throughout the film at all. Her ranges of expression were almost little to none thanks to the era in which the movie was released in- but she always looked like she was pissed, huh? Vil is the exact opposite of her in this sense. He is able to fully express himself through his various facial expressions, theatrical abilities, musical experiences, fashion style, and even how he behaves. Vil is able to do so much more than the Evil Queen did or could do within that time period, that it's almost a little staggering if you fully picture it.

Idia and Hades. Now, now. We haven't honestly seen too much of the flaming blue boy yet in TWST, but one thing is apparent here right off the bat- in terms of his personality? He is the exact opposite of Hades. Idia is much like Jamil but to a more "geek" degree- he's extremely introverted, shy, a bit snippy, yet mainly keeps to himself and his gaming tech. Hades is most often renowned as the Disney Villain with the most personality- and the best humor. Hades has no problem whatsoever being "out there" with his crazy puns, sassy remarks, anger, and even mocking behavior. I mean, please, guys- I haven't been this choked up since I got a hunk of moussaka caught in my throat!

Finally, Malleus and Maleficent. Ooooohoooooooo boy. We have to count out the live action movie Maleficent for this one (sorry horned queen fans). One thing that basically everybody even with their toe in the water in that of Disney movies kind of knows this fact- Maleficent is c r u el. She's got a bizarre set of dark powers and an even blacker heart than that. Hell, we basically had to "soften her up" a little bit in Maleficent thanks to just how seemingly irredeemable her character is in that of Sleeping Beauty. I mean, c'mon now- cursing an infant? And we get no explanation for that in the original? C'mon, now. Anyways, Malleus? As we all can tell by now, this dude is the compleeettteeeeeee opposite. Sure, he has those repressed bits here and there too, but it is evident that this dude has a heart crying out for the MC and it is big, bold, and golden to the core once you look past how he looks. He sent the MC a card for winter break, for crying out loud. Yeah, let me know the next time you see Maleficent do that smh.

Now, I have avoided using a certain word up until this point to see if anybody could catch on to what exactly is happening here. Did you figure it out? Reverse. The boys that either have Overblotted already or intend to Overblot soon stop holding out on us, Chapter 6 have had the exact opposite personalities compared to that of their Villain counterpart- until one prime point in their "character arcs". Their Overblot.

Riddle wished to have all bow before him and obey his rules.

Leona led his entire dorm into ruin and nearly sanded away the entire school in the process.

Azul let himself finally free of his personal shackles entirely and "took what was his".

Jamil finally let himself go and opened up more in his personality, almost seeming to be driven insane in the process.

Vil wanted to become the most beautiful one of all and would kill anyone within the way of that goal without any hesitation whatsoever.

The moment that the boys' Overblotted, that was the exact moment when the "soul" of their Disney Villain counterpart took control. Keeping that idea in mind, that should mean that this will happen in the upcoming chapters and their Overblots:

Idia will show off all of the personality, powers, and intelligence that he has been keeping down within this introverted self of his.

Malleus will become so broken by being left out and alone in the cold for the final time that he will turn into a completely cruel Fae and possibly nearly kill either the MC or the representation of Prince Philip within that Chapter in the process.

(Hello, my dear Readers! Guess who is trying to get back into her bigger pieces of writing? This gal right here~ feel free to drop a comment and tell me what you think of this theory- I'd love to hear your thoughts! 💕)

#twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #disney #twistedwonderland #force talks #twst #force gushes #twisted wonderland theory #twst theory #disney villains #malleus draconia #idia shroud #vil schoenheit #jamil viper #azul ashengrotto #leona kingscholar #riddle rosehearts #maleficent #disney hades #evil queen #disney jafar #ursula #disney scar #queen of hearts

[impaladolan]

Home Alone - Grayson Dolan

summary: after a long week of work, y/n needs some sort of relaxation and relief. although, her outlook on relieving her frustrations isn’t what grayson had in mind...

warnings: tid bit fluffy, swearing, vibrator use, & smut

a/n: been in my unfinished drafts for a bit..

"Are you sure you don't want to tag along, baby?" Grayson longingly questioned, his brows crinkled and his lips almost forming a pout.

"I haven't been able to do laundry all week. God knows it won't get done unless I do it now." Y/N chuckles, balancing a full basket of freshly dried clothes on her hip, watching her lover wrap his fist around the front door's handle.

Every other weekend, at the Dolan residences, the two brothers, and sometimes their wives, would gather with some of their friends and watch their favorite football teams. And later on, they'd play board games or watch some movies. Normally, Y/N would be the one begging Grayson to hurry up and get ready to attend the biweekly event, except this time.

Y/N has different plans...

It had been a brutal week at work, her boss was currently taking out her "divorce emotions" on her employees and Y/N was getting the rougher end of it. She was relieved when it was finally the weekend and she could stress clean, calm her nerves in some sort of self efficient way and relax after a tough couple days.

She hadn't even had the thought of a sexual release, until she had dreamt multiple naughty scenarios just last night during her deep slumber. She couldn't exactly pinpoint what all she had dreamed, but she remembers waking up with a dripping arousal and a sore ache at her very center. And though her husband was laid right next to her, perfectly capable of satisfying her womanly needs, she decided using other resources would be a better fit.

Don't get her wrong, she loves being pleasured by the only man who knows exactly how to, but she felt embarrassed. She didn't want to come across as a sex-crazed women to Grayson, even though it would never make a difference to him.

They're married, for goodness sake.

"I can stay back and help out. We could even have our own little movie night if you wanted," He began, releasing his hand from the door and taking a few steps toward Y/N, whose lips turned into a cheesy smile as he drew closer to her.

"Just you and me," He took the basket filled with clothes from her hip and set it on the floor, intertwining his large hands with her smaller ones, eliciting a short laugh from Y/N. He brought her closer to his frontside, creating a ballroom dance-like formation and began shuffling around with her in his arms. Like an old married couple, they slowly danced around the room, him twirling her in his grasp while Y/N admirably gazed upon him.

Her cheeks were rosy with admiration, finding his little act of affection adorable. "You get easily distracted, huh?" Y/N grinned, resting her chin happily on his shoulder, his minuscule beard hairs tickling certain parts of her neck.

"Well, you looked too pretty over here by yourself," He softly explained against her ear. "And I wanted to dance around a room with a beautiful woman like you. So, I am." He lowered his hands beneath her and slew her into a romantic dip, planting a sweet kiss upon her lips. She returned one back, feeling her heart grow two sizes larger, much like the Grinch movie portrays, if anything.

"Grayson, I know how much you enjoy football, especially with the boys," She was only making excuses, but he had tempted her to just cuddle on the couch all day and watch plethoras of movies and munch on various snacks. But the low rattle in the depths her core was motioning her in a different way, and she just couldn't survive the rest of the day without fixing her little problem.

"Hmm, you're right. But when I get back, we're ordering take out and watching movies. Got it?" He chuckles, bringing the both of them back up into a standing position.

"M'hm, be safe." Y/N smiles, planting another kiss on her lover's lips before leaving his warmth. She waved goodbye to him as he left their abode, sweetly grinning as she went back to finishing up the laundry before the real reason she was staying home, would begin.

Though the couple's intimate relations seemed innocent and loving, they each had a different side to them, specifically in the bedroom.

The two never shied away from new experiences and would most certainly dabble into different areas of the "sex world," if you will. They, of course, had their preferences and different kinks, but Y/N seemed to be more open and freeing for that sort of stuff.

For the different occasions that they felt a bit more lustful and yearning for one another, they kept a locked trunk of knickknacks in their closet. You see, that's the one Grayson knows about, but Y/N keeps a smaller one, filled to the brim with all of her own toys, in a section of her closet that he never really pays attention to. If he had any idea that she kept self-pleasuring items for her own uses, he'd be absolutely ballistic.

Thankfully, he doesn't...

The moment Y/N threw the last bits of dirty laundry left, into the washer, she practically sprinted to their shared bedroom. After rummaging through the trunk filled with "accessories," she found a nice, pretty pink vibrator to do the trick, as well as a black silk blindfold to shield her own eyes. She was already rid of her clothes and sprawled across the wide bed in an instance, tying the piece of cloth over her eyes. 

Though, unbeknownst to Y/N, Grayson was already on his way back home. As soon as he had pulled into his brother's driveway, they had called to cancel— a certain emergency about something Grayson didn't really pay attention to listen to. He was thrilled that he didn't have to leave Y/N at home, all by herself to do chores all day. And luckily, their houses weren't too far apart from each other, so Grayson was back home within fifteen minutes of leaving it.

He didn't feel the need to text Y/N, she was probably busy anyway and possibly wouldn't respond. He figured she would hear the garage door open and expect that he was already home.

Little does he know...

As soon as he was parked and out of his vehicle, Grayson was trudging down stairs to the laundry room, in search of Y/N. He was surprised that she wasn't there, but he figured she might just be folding on the couch, trying to get ahead on one of the TV series the two were drawn into.

Grayson chuckles as he makes his way back upstairs, though his brows curtly furrow, his ears almost perking at the muffled sounds coming from the hallway.

Their shared room, to be precise.

With a pondering look upon his face, he kicks off his shoes and makes his way towards his bedroom, quietly twisting the door handle and pushing it inward. He opens the door wide enough to secretly look inside, letting his eyes adjust to the darkness that enveloped the entire expanse. The noises he had heard only seconds ago were more prominent, and his eyes had fallen on the object creating the aroused sounds;

Y/N.

She was laid out on their bed, legs wide open and shaking while her hands were constantly pressuring a fucking sex toy against her soaked pussy. Grayson froze, pure anger washing over him and turning his face a turbulent shade of red, washing away his pleasant mood. He almost stormed in there, ready to rip the stupid machine away from her hands and show her what a real orgasm feels like.

But he somehow contained himself, and instead, watched the scene play out in front of his very own eyes, vexation spilling from his entire countenance.

Y/N didn't hear the garage door open and close, or even the beep of Grayson's truck when he locked it.  She hadn't even heard his feet stomping up and down the stairs, or his lingering chuckles. She was so caught up in how she was feeling.

The artificial vibrations that buzzed upon her core made the world around her so euphoric and heavenly. She'd brush the toy upon her clit, forcing her entire body shake with deep pleasure and a soft moan to emit from her mouth. It felt so nice, and she was so close to the brink of releasing.

She was already feeling better, and naughty. If Grayson were to find her this way, masturbating  freely in the open and satisfying herself, she would never live to see another day. But she didn't care at this point, she just wanted to finally cum.

And she was extremely close.

Her hips began to buckle, while her backside rose from the bed and her free hand twisted at the sheets beneath her. "Mm- just a little more—" Her entire core was pulsating, so fucking close to just letting go.

So close..

"Don't fucking cum yet, slut." Grayson's voice boomed throughout the room, making Y/N's movements freeze in terror and shock. Before she could think of some sort of explanation or reasoning as to what she's doing, her blindfold is ripped from her eyes, while the vibrator that was once nuzzled up on her pussy, was taken away as well. Now, she felt so empty and wanting, edged to an almost release.

"Jesus- You're fucking dripping, for fucksake." His tone was harsh, and Y/N felt like crying. She held onto her tears as she watched him examine the drenched vibrator, still buzzing in his hands. Out of the loss of contact, she began to whine, squeezing her thighs together to create at least a little bit of friction.

"Grayson, please—" She began to huff, but her shuttering voice was interrupted by the aggravated man pacing in front of her.

"I don't think I fucking asked you to talk, did I?" He glared at her, though just the sight of Y/N's exposed body made him shudder with a tinge of want.

Against his wishes, Y/N continued her whines, her breathing still ragged and finally her own hand traveling down to her soaked heat. She didn't care if she'd be in more trouble, she just needed to unravel the knot inside her, whether she'd pay for that mistake later or if not.

She didn't get far, because Grayson caught her wrist before it made it all the way down to her center, and brought it up to the headboard. He wrapped a leather strip around both of her wrists, mumbling incoherent spews of anger, doing the same with her ankles against the bedposts.

"I-I, I thought you were gonna watch football.." She began, but a low growl sounded from Grayson, and the blindfold was placed back over her eyes, while a different type of cloth was shoved in her mouth. Y/N feels the numbing slap across her thigh before hearing the connection's sound, an exasperated scream muffling out of her filled mouth.

"I'd stop talking if I were you. Unless you want to be choked by Daddy’s fucking cock, darling." His voice rattled her insides, and she dared not to make another sound, already dug far too deep in a hole anyway. "Get ready princess, m'gonna edge the fuck out of you. Maybe then, you'll remember to ask me for permission to use your fucking toys." His voice soon faded from her ears as a higher vibration than before was nudged right up against her swollen clit, making her figure convulse in imploding pleasure.

It took an entire hour for Grayson to edge Y/N twelve fucking times. She was a mess, sweat droplets dotting her hairline while her pussy remained in slippery shambles. He didn't say a word, and Y/N held her tongue from shouting profanities after the several losses of contact. She hadn't came yet, but if she didn't soon— she would find a way to get out of her restraints and finish off what she had started herself.

It had been several minutes since Grayson had pulled her to the brink of an orgasm, and she was starting to think that he'd never come back. She had heard the sound of a zipper earlier, and she couldn't tell if he was doing something to ease his own pain while she laid there, so high strung and breathless. She was about to call out his name, but the warmth of his tongue wrapped around her bundle of nerves and she let out an exasperated sigh, pulling on the cuffs tied around her wrists.

He slipped his tongue in skillful motions, his hands pushing up underneath her thighs as he lapped up her liquids. Y/N was so sensitive to touch, anything that remotely stroked her could heighten her arousal and make her lust for more.

Within seconds, her hips were shaking and her back arched above the mattress, her toes curling under the pressure. And his voice finally sang the heavenly words she had been waiting for the entire time;

"Cum, princess."

Y/N released all over his lips, a high-pitched scream sounding from her mouth as she finally unravels, her legs bucking against their restraints. She spits out the cloth from her mouth and heavily breathes, murmuring praises to the man between her legs.

"I'm sorry, Grayson."

a/n: did this completely suck? i haven’t really written in third person in awhile, so i need honest opinions..

#dolan twins #dolan twins smut #dt #grayson #grayson dolan #grayson dolan fanfic #daddy!grayson #graysonbailey #grayson dolan smut #grayson dolan gifs #graysondolan #dick grayson #grayson blurb #grayson imagine #grayson fluff #grayson x you #grayson x reader #graysondolansmut #ily #ethan dolan #ethan grant dolan #grant #y/n

[saranghanuuu]

PERKS OF DATING A YOUNGER GUY I LEARNED AFTER WATCHING CHINESE DRAMA FIND YOURSELF + REVIEW!

1. He has less baggage

This means that he has more time to attend to your needs and wants unlike an older guy with a demanding schedule and lots of responsibilities at hand.

2. He's more open-minded and adventurous

They are open to having new experiences and won't judge you for veering off the path you should stay on.

3. He's infectiously energetic *ehem*

Need I say more? A younger guy's youthful sense will surely find unimaginable ways to impress you!

4. He puts you on a pedestal

A younger man will appreciate your maturity and experiences and will admire you for it. They're also most likely take advice from you without letting it bruise their ego.

5. He'll make you feel young

Be prepared to relive the fun parts of your younger years with him.

It's not so wrong to say that the May-December relationship is taboo, especially among Asians. Most people I know had this inkling that when a younger guy hooks up with a woman way older than him, it could prolly mean one of two things — the guy's a paramour or she's a sugar momma. I'm honestly not a fan of it either on the premise that women mature faster than men. Let's be real, an immature relationship is a disaster. But now that I'm in my late 20s, and a hopeless romantic single at that, I kinda pondered over this. It suddenly occurred to me, what if one day I’m caught up in the position of being pursued by a younger man? Will I let the stigma affect me emotionally? Or will I take the risk ‘coz all is fair in love? I still don’t have a definite answer to this question. However, watching Find Yourself served as an eye-opener for me to look at things from a different perspective.

Find Yourself is a 2020 Chinese drama starring Song Wei Long and Victoria Song. It tells the story of a 32-year old Executive Director who never *even once* experienced dating. Given her age and career stability, she receives constant pressure from the people around her to find someone to marry and has since frequented blind dates arranged by her family, friends, or colleagues. But this girl is just someone who swears by the "spark" - no spark, then no point to the relationship. She may be old for fantasizing over first love and such, but she still yearns that it'll naturally come to find her someday. Until her thirst for real romance is quenched by a 22-year-old guy who started working as an intern in her company at his brother’s request.

Although hesitant at first due to their huge age difference and the societal views, she went out with him on the condition that they'll keep it a secret for the first 3 months. If everything went well, she agrees to publicize her relationship with him.

Let’s start off with the good things...

I just can't with this drama...! This so beautiful, cute, relatable - especially for a woman in late 20s like me. 

Plot-wise, it was well-imparted and makes perfect sense, touching a looooooot of relationship aspects in 41 episodes. Not only did I enjoy the happenings between our main couple, but our side couples' stories are very interesting too.

This drama pretty much straightened out my prejudice about age-gap relationships.

Light-hearted, just the way I like it! Every episode will make you smile and/or laugh hard.

Sexual tensions overload and superb kissing scenes! Let those hormones rush in. Not awkward to watch 'coz They. Did. Not. Hold. Back. Ack! If you're single, be prepared to feel MORE SINGLE watching this drama.

Well-written lines that will make you feel real emotions. The words will shoot you straight to the heart.

Acting-wise, the casts, from the mains down to the sides, did a super fine job in conveying the sentiments of their characters. My highest admiration goes to male lead Yuan Song, not (only) because he’s young, hot, and handsome, but because his youthful vibe made me reminisce the paradox of my early 20s awww. Anyways, in the beginning, I am sort of confused why (of all girls) he fell head over heels with our female lead He Fanxing who's obviously out of his league. I even suspected him of taking advantage of her naivety in matters of the heart. But as the drama went along, our dude proved himself genuine... That he's sincerely just a guy who's deeply in love with a woman... That indeed, true love can exist in this kind of relationship. Both Yuan Song and Fanxing emotionally benefited from each other and it's so lovely seeing that.

⚠️ AND SORRY BUT THIS IS A SPOILER ALERT⚠️

Halfway through the drama, our main couple called it quits. I'm somewhat grateful that it happened. Their break-up scene is just so powerful I had to rewind it many times. Not because I liked seeing them suffer from the consequences of their incompatibility. Rather, I loved it 'coz it became the turning point of their relationship.

Their love is premature, to begin with — trust isn't mutual, commitment is one-way, only showing each other's good sides in fear of the relationship turning sour, one is willing to compromise while the other wants to avoid responsibility, filled with doubts and insecurities. During this break-up phase, we were shown the difference between how kids and adults behave and decide in a dilemma. I suddenly remembered this one line delivered in the drama which I agree with — "Only kids would choose one or the other. Adults find solutions". The break-up also served as our main couple's period of contemplation about who and what they want in life. It taught them how to fully embrace their offbeat romance against the norms. Fortunately, things wrapped up into a sweet end.

And of course the bad...

Hmmm... Maybe I'm just not used to it but am I the only one who thinks that this drama is quite lengthy? Yes, I enjoyed it but it's not a good one to binge-watch. It took me almost a month to finish this I nearly drowned haha. Honestly, there were parts they could've just compressed instead of dragging it for too long. One example is Ye Luming and He Fanxing's relationship trial. Ooohhh I hate this part it brought shivers down my spine ugh. Well truth be told, Luming and Fanxing are compatible and better off as friends. They jive so well, and I give it to them that they're both adults who can only understand adult things.

But when Luming all of a sudden became a sneaky character to an intolerable point... Ah, I don't know anymore! Seeing how compelled Fanxing is to being Luming's girlfriend got under my skin. Although these ugly parts eventually became a good contributory factor to Fanxing's realization of her true feelings towards Yuan Song, but still...! I also hated Fanxing at one point for being so gullible in love. But yeah, I had to swallow it because that's her character setup in the first place. It should be expected of her to be hasty and dubious about it.

On the other hand, I wished they've been generous in showing us more about how Yuan Song and Fanxing's relationship is going after the public reveal. I've been waiting for this the entire time (they could've done so much more in 41 episodes' length!) so I'm quite disappointed.

After watching the second season of Well-Intended Love, I admit I lost interest in Chinese dramas. So watching this restored my faith in them. I even have a list of C-dramas lined up now! But I have to move on from this one first before I start another. It's not as easy as I thought ㅠㅠ

What do you think about this drama? Are we on the same frequency? ❤️

If you haven't watched this yet, watch it now. As in 지금부터 RIGHT NOW. Highly-recommended!

#find yourself #下一站是幸福 #song weilong #victoria song #chinese drama #romance #comedy #drama reviews #yuan song #he fanxing #chinese #romcom #cdrama #may-december relationship

[syinisuga]

Begin Again [MinYoongi]

Pairing : Yoongi x Reader

Word count : 5.2K

Genre : Fluff and Angst

Description : Friends to lovers, Long Distance relationship, Lovers to (?)

Summary : when you thought the friendship you once had with him died away after one silly mistake, and you thought you would never have again what you lost;

But it blossoms back unexpectedly stronger and is slowly growing to be something more beautiful than you ever had

"I've been spending the last eight months thinking all love ever does is break and burn, and end;

But on a Wednesday in a cafe i watched it Begin Again"

--------------------✨📖✨---------------------

It was the start of a new year and you weren't particularly happy about being moved up a few classes into an entirely new class with relatively new students you haven't personally met yet. You were still grateful for your good results in the past year to have you land in such a good class. In all honesty though, you did miss your friends from your old class, all of them being scattered in the back classes however changed your mind about being thankful that you're at least in a better one. The first few days of getting used to the classes went by rather slowly as you were listening to the introductions of the other students and teachers half mindedly, till around your 4th day into the classes that is.

You were randomly seated in the Chemistry lab by the teacher as she familiarised herself with the rest of the class. Not paying much attention you were spacing out, resting your chin on your palm, tapping away at your cheek.

" Um, hey there"

The voice from the stool next to you spoke. You turned your head to the direction of the voice, being met with warm brown eyes looking right at you. He had soft black hair, eyes slightly puffy as if he hadn't slept well the night before, lips curled up in a slight smile as he looked at you.

"Oh, hello"

you answered, trying not to sound overly shocked at the first human interaction you've had in this new class.

"I'm yoongi, what's your name?"

"I'm y/n, nice to meet you Yoongi"

"So what are your interests? What do you like to do y/n? Any hobbies?"

It definitely took you by surprise when this boy you've never really met before was suddenly making an interest to get to know you more. Something about him felt raw and not shy but in a good way.

"Well i really love listening to music and i do indulge in art as well. Spend most of my time listening to songs while drawing. Draw the mood of the song you know?"

"Damn, haha you sound kinda like me. Not tryna be cheesy or anything but i love listening to music too, I'm shit at drawing tho, i can barely draw a stickman"

Both of you exchanged a little chuckle at his open confession about himself. And even though it had only been a few minutes of words between the two of you, you felt at that moment that he wasn't like the other boys who popped up to talk to you first. This one genuinely seemed interested in you just to make a new friend.

-----------------------🤝------------------------

"Yo y/n you wanna ditch PE and hang out in the library? The new Resident Evil movie came out we can watch"

"You know what, yeah let's yeet"

You don't know how it went from spending lunch times together, to skipping the most boring subjects to hang out and hide. It'd been a few months since you started your new friendship with Yoongi, and by now you were known as the inseparable duo, funny enough both of you became the class representatives. Somehow you two got closer and closer each day, the more you talked the more you felt like you've known each other for years, yet some part of you knew that there was more to Yoongi than he was showing to you.

On a particularly slow day at your classes, you and Yoongi had pre planned to sneak out to hang out at your usual spot in the library. Sitting at the back of the library the both of you laughed at a joke Yoongi made about how almost the whole school shipped the both of you.

"You know y/n, I envy you"

"Oh well, I know I'm fabulous" you playfully said as you flipped your hair back, earning a little grunt and a harmless eye roll from Yoongi.

"It's not that you loonatic, i envy you...cause you have such a nice relationship with your family"

His sudden statement caught you slightly off guard but you gave him a look, clearly eager to know the reason behind his words. Flashing half a smile towards you he starts his story.

"Growing up for me was, well, it was an experience. I grew up under the care of foster parents who constantly reminded me that my parents gave me away cause i was a burden, all my life that's what i was told. Never had a father figure or mother figure to help shape my emotions? Guess that's why I don't show it if I'm sad or depressed, which is actually most of the time"

he looks down at his hands and chuckles softly.

"But you know something y/n? Being with you makes me feel like I could be myself, like I don't have to be afraid of being judged. And that's why I wanted you to know the truth but i understand if you don't wanna get involved or-"

You cut him off by placing your hand on his, giving him a reassuring smile.

"Yoongi, i want you to know that I'll always be here for you and you can talk to me about this anytime okay? You're my best friend now! And I'm hoping I'm yours too?" You ask in a more playful tone making yoongi giggle.

"Of course you are"

"Good! Cause i come in a package deal of crackhead and supportive as well as a no return contract"

"Sounds perfect to me bestie"

-----------------------😚------------------------

Over 2 years had passed and the whole highschool down to the teachers were sure the two of you were in a relationship, as everyone saw the two of you being practically stuck together almost all the time. Yoongi and your friendship became stronger than ever since that day he decided to open up to you. It became a regular thing where you'd confide in each other for emotional comfort as well as motivation and support. Not missing the fact that your level of crackhead together had become an all time high.

Your finals and exams blasted through and you had spent all your study weeks with Yoongi in the library. As sketchy as it was you and your best friend actually did sincere studying. And as it would, your hard work together paid off earning the both of you high marks in your finals. The two of you didn't miss to make a trademark crackhead scene at the receiving of the scroll ceremony when you accidentally tripped on your shoelace and Yoongi cracked up laughing and clapping before helping you up. The two of you celebrate with drinks and a lot of food that night and Yoongi paid for everything to make it up to you for laughing when you fell.

You looked at yourself one last time in the mirror before heading out to your highschool's hall. It was your graduation party but more importantly to you it was Yoongi's birthday. Coincidentally the two events had fallen on the same day, and what better opportunity than to get dressed up to party at your graduation ceremony together. It had been a heck of a ride these last two years, and you were going to make sure this last school event would be memorable.

Upon arriving you scan around the hall of students in search of the familiar face.

"Looking for me?"

He makes his presence behind you known by clearing his throat. You turn around to give your usual playful comment back but the words were caught in your throat as your gaze landed on your best friend. He was dressed smart, in a suit that looked like it was custom made to fit him, his hair in a side part and bangs neatly framing his face. You were so used to seeing him in his casual hoodies and ripped jeans that seeing him in formal wear made you choke on your words.

Too focused on getting your senses back in check, you don't notice how Yoongi's train of thought was stopped dead in its tracks as he watched you turn around to face him. He never pictured his crackhead of a best friend in something other than t-shirts and track pants. Seeing you in a dress that hugged your figure in all the right places and taking in the sight of you, with your makeup and hair all done to suit the dress you were wearing nearly made him pass out from how he was holding his breath to admire you.

Clearing the silence between the two of you, Yoongi speaks up first.

"Well well, you don't completely look like the satanic spawn of hot cheetos and depression today. You actually look pretty good"

Smirking a little smile you bite back at his comment.

"Well same to you too Mr. I'm a millennial emo teen. You actually look, presentable today"

The two of you exchanged a playful giggle and assumed your seats at your class tables as the ceremony went on.

You don't see the small glances Yoongi takes in your direction, the thoughts gushing through his mind about how you looked at the moment and cursing himself for not realising your features sooner. He admired the way you had chosen to dress up today, seeing the way you had styled your hair so your curls would frame your face, the way you had done your makeup in a more natural looking way that he thought suited you perfectly. Yoongi didn't remember when the unlabeled feelings for you came but the longer he looked at you the more he was starting to put a name to the feelings he had. So much so that he had completely spaced out in his thoughts of you like that he didn't realise you were speaking to him.

" -don't you think so Yoongi?"

"I'm sorry what did you say? The umm, the music is so loud"

"I saaaaiiddd it's beginning to get a little dull at this graduation ceremony, we need a little surprise, don't you think?"

"Surprise?? What kind of surprise?"

Flashing a smile his way you get up and walk towards the front of the hall where the ceremony host was finishing up their ending speech. Whispering into the host's ear, he gives you the microphone and you confidently stride to the front. But you accidentally go too close to the speaker and it lets out an unpleasant squee, making you move back and away a little. You look up and around finding your best friend's eyes looking back at you giggling at the scene that just occured.

"Well that's one way to get everyone's attention" you chuckle earning muffled chuckles and words from the hall.

"So firstly congrats to everyone on graduating y'all did it. But that's not why I'm up here right now. Today is a special day for someone, and since it's the last day we'll all be gathering I wanted to make this memorable for him. So everyone I would like to wish out here, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIN YOONGI"

you started to sing happy birthday and the rest of the hall joined in singing with you.

In all this happening, Yoongi could only focus on you, the way you just boldly got up to sing out loud and wish him Happy Birthday in the most "you" way possible. So he didn't know if it was the moment or if it was his unlabeled feelings overflowing for you, that he got up and walked towards you as the song was ending. He couldn't tell what came over him at that moment but he knew for sure he wasn't going to stop what he was about to do next. Cupping your cheeks in his palms, he leaned in, pressing his soft lips to yours. Kissing you with deep feelings overtaking his mind. The moment his lips touched yours he knew what those unlabeled feelings were, it was Love.

You couldn't process fast enough that your best friend was striding towards you with a goal, a desire. And you surely didn't expect for him to suddenly kiss you. Registering the feeling of his lips on yours, your eyes closed on their own as if on automatic response. You sank into the feeling of his lips, and it was then you felt the spark that ignited your own unlabeled feelings for Yoongi. You had definitely asked yourself countless times before if what you were feeling for Yoongi was more than just friendship. On the countless nights he had cried on your shoulder or when you cried on his, on the many occasions where you were both always partners in crime, you would always glance at Yoongi and wonder what more could there be to the feelings between you.

As the both of you slowly pulled away from each other a roaring sound of cheers erupted as it seemed to be that the two of you were the last ones to know you two were actually in love with each other. Taking your hand in his, Yoongi and you ran out of the hall that night knowing well where the two of you stood from that moment on.

-----------------------❤️------------------------

"No babe I think you should definitely take the opportunity to study there, I know it's far but it'll be really good for you, plus it's something you really like! It'll take some time for you to get used to the new place but i know you'll fit right in. In fact i know your wack ass would stand out"

You giggled at his comment but you wholeheartedly took his motivation and advice. But the question and thoughts still lingered in your mind as you heard Yoongi chuckle on the other end of the phone.

"But Yoongi, this means we'd be in a long distance relationship, with you going off to study in the opposite direction and all. Even our breaks don't match Yoongi.. what'll we do" the worrying tone in your voice didn't go unnoticed by Yoongi as he answered you in a calm reassuring tone.

"It'll take some work, but i know we can get through this okay? We'll make it, we can make it. I love you" you smiled at Yoongi's voice uttering the sweet words of love as you felt yourself calm your thoughts.

"I love you too Yoongi. Well then, keep me company while i pack?"

"You bet"

It had been a few months since you started dating, and honestly it didn't feel any different from when the two of you were in your phase of friendship, everything was going relatively smooth apart from the little fights and misunderstandings you had now that you were a couple. Sometimes you sit to think to yourself if moving into a relationship with Yoongi was the best choice, it would feel as though sometimes he would act differently and not like he always would but you just shake of the thoughts. You just figured with all these future college studies and intakes coming about that he was just as stressed as you were. You assured yourself that the two of you would be alright and that you'll always have each other.

A few more months pass and the two of you have already started your college lives. Yoongi being in a campus almost 8 hours away from you with minimal transport for him to even go home let alone plan to meet you. It was going smoothly, settling into orientation and getting to know the layouts of the campus well, meeting new friends and truly taking in your next step in education. You and Yoongi would exchange day to day text messages about how orientation and the first days of classes went.

All well and good till Yoongi's texts became slower and less frequent, he would always say that he's busy with his friends there, or straight up not giving a response at all. You became more and more fearful at how this long distance thing was going to work out for the two of you.

28th Tuesday

[12:27am] hey Yoongi! I hope you had a great day, I miss you and hope you sleep well, love you!

[08:40am] Hey Babe, good morning! I'm in class now, wishing we could skip like old times haha, hope you have a great day! Text me soon

[6:48pm] Hey i just got back to my dorm after classes, it was super fun! How was your day??

[8:11pm] Yoongi?? Are you okay? Are you busy babe?

[8:24pm] I miss youuuuuuuu :(

[10:16pm] Yoongi :(

You tossed your phone to the side of your bed as you felt your tears well up, why was he suddenly avoiding you? Is he okay?? Did he get hurt? Your thoughts were spiraling, getting messier till you heard the familiar ping from your phone. You scurried to your phone to see Yoongi's name pop up on the screen. Your smile quickly faded, replaced by disappointment at his reply.

[10:43pm] Hey, was busy with friends today, going to bed now ttyl <3

You frowned and wouldn't let him go this time. The days of short texts to unreplied texts and this is how he replies now? In a fit of fury you call him.

"Hello?-"

"Yoongi what's wrong? You haven't been replying to my texts as usual are you okay??"

"Mmh I'm fine, just busy with classes and my new friends y/n"

"Well I can't accept that answer Yoongi, I'm busy with classes and friend's here too but I take the time so why can't you?"

"Hey it's not that big of a deal y/n, we're in new environments now and it'll take me some time to settle in"

"Yoongi surely you have at least 5 minutes a day to text me??"

"Yeah of course I do, I just texted you didn't i?"

"That short ass reply was what you call a text Yoongi? It really sounds like you're avoiding me"

"You know what y/n I don't have time for this right now I'm tired"

"No Yoongi, I haven't talked to you properly in days come on don't you miss me Yoongi?"

"To be honest I've been enjoying the new company here that's I haven't missed you much"

"What do you mean Yoongi? You don't think of me?"

"Not all the time no, i have other things to think about here y/n i have new responsibilities here I can't be thinking about you all the damn time, just be happy I texted you back"

"Are you threatening to not text me anymore Yoongi? Is that what you're saying? You don't wanna talk to me anymore?"

"Oh god for fucks sake y/n stop being so clingy alright? Just grow up a little!"

The sound of his voice in heightened frustration made you choke on your words, you silenced yourself as his words rang loud in your head.

"You know what y/n I don't think this will work out, I'm going to get even busier and this will just be in the way of it all"

"Yoongi…"

"I'm sorry y/n but clearly this distance is proving that we won't work out"

"Are you... breaking up with me Yoongi?.."

The pain in your voice and the soft shaky exhale doesn't go unnoticed by Yoongi. Yoongi takes a deep breath, realising he spoke too fast in frustration. As much as he did feel for you this distance was tearing you apart and Yoongi didn't want to believe it but it was the truth. He spoke softer this time giving his side of his explanation.

"Y/n, you've been nothing but amazing to me, but I realize that we were more compatible as friends, I mean think about it, we've had so many petty fights that we never had before we dated. Our growing college life will further hinder our relationship. I don't want to hurt you like this by not giving you the love and attention you deserve. I'll always love you y/n, just not as more than friends I suppose"

You couldn't believe what was happening right now, your world felt like it was crashing down on you hard and fast, you could feel the sharp stinging in your chest from how your heart was breaking the more reality hit you. Yoongi's words had reason to them, but you were still in a state of confusion. Why could you make time for Yoongi but he couldn't for you? Maybe it's because the two of you are pursuing different fields of studies? Maybe he really had better things to do? Yoongi didn't want to hurt your feelings by making you feel abandoned so he was in fact abandoning you? No? But he said he'll still love you?? Your head was spinning a bunch of thoughts ran through your head.

"Okay Yoongi...if that's what would be the best for us..then okay"

"Don't worry okay? We'll still text as usual, talk when we can okay? I won't let you go, you're still my best friend y/n"

You didn't know if his words would be comforting enough, but at that moment you took what you had and calmed your thoughts for now.

"Okay Yoongi.."

"Good, I have an early schedule tomorrow. I'll talk to you later okay? I'm going to bed now. Goodnight y/n"

"Good night Yoongi"

-----------------------💔------------------------

As it will, Yoongi and you slowly drifted apart. You would often see his social media updates about how he was actively participating in clubs, and how he had taken up new responsibilities, going to camps and hosting events at his institute and he definitely seemed to be doing well. You on the other hand fell more and more at war with your emotions, it didn't hinder your studies. Thankfully you could keep those two apart. But whenever it got a little too quiet you'd think of him, the days in highschool when you were inseparable. You missed his laugh, his endearing way of calling you the most heinous nicknames. You definitely missed his comforting arms, his words of encouragement when you were down, you wished nothing more that in this moment you were crying to him instead of because of him.

You couldn't believe that you were sitting here, broken and feeling alone by the guy that made his way into your life, and had now made his way out in the most painful way possible. You were left there clueless and confused. Did he do it for you? Was it the right thing? Did he really think of you? Why was this happening? What would have happened if you didn't date? Would things be different? Would your best friend have stayed? All these questions playing through your mind, countless nights you spent crying yourself to sleep. Thinking of how you felt almost betrayed, you cursed at yourself for sending texts to him that were only left on read or replied with a simple "I'm busy, text you later".

Slowly days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months as you hadn't spoken much to Yoongi. You became stone hearted from all that had happened and slowly you got back into yourself. You were more and more active in your college life and you were growing to be better at controlling your emotions. Sure some little things remind you of him now and then, but it was much easier by now to brush his thoughts off. As sadly as your situation was you learned to move with it and not let it consume you. Every now and then you'd see Yoongi piston updates on his progressively active life and you'd feel happy for him, you wondered if he ever felt the same for you when he saw your updates on how well you were doing.

----------------------🍃-------------------------

It had been a total of 4 years since everything happened, you were on a roll and you had graduated college. You had a few job applications pending and you were more stable with your life by now. All the questions you once had were stored in a box collection dust in the far corner of your mind.

It was a relaxing Saturday evening, you were in your apartment lounging on your bed. As you were chatting away with your friends a familiar ping aroused from your phone. The name that popped up on the screen made your heart heavy and you breathing shallow, a true ghost from your past…

"Yoongi 🥀"

Your screen read. Taking a deep breath you opened the chat.

[9:57pm] Hey y/n it's been a long time… are you free tonight? Can I call you?

You didn't know what exactly to think right now. Every cell in your brain telling you not to. That you shouldn't give into him again, and that you should just talk to him over text no matter what it was. But your heart was screaming for him, the familiar feeling of longing for him returning in a massive tsunami, washing over your thoughts. You took a deep breath to centre your thoughts and decided you'd listen to him and talk to him again.

[9:59pm] Hey Yoongi, yeah I'm free to talk.

As soon as the message was read by him, your phone rang. You took one more deep breath and answered the call.

"Hello y/n, how are you?"

You cursed in your head at how much you missed his voice, the way he spoke to you at this moment had a hint of the same longing you had for him.

"Hey..Yoongi, I'm good. How are you?"

"I've been good too.. congratulations on graduating"

"Thanks Yoongi, congratulations on graduating too.."

"Thanks…"

The silence that fell had you both reflecting on everything that happened and how fast it all went by. The box of questions in your mind burst out once again whereas Yoongi on the other hand was feeling guilt and hate towards himself for everything that he put you through. Little did you know that these last few months Yoongi was hit with the hard realisation that he had lost not only his best friend but the person he cared about the most. His family certainly did not improve and the one person who was there for him when he needed it, he had left broken hearted and abruptly once he found a new escape. Yoongi was slowly flooded with memories of you as he neared his own college graduation. He remembered your highschool graduation and how he felt for you there in that moment of time. He spent a few nights crying at the realisation that he had thought of what's best for you but didn't think of how you felt and how he had left things between the two of you.

"Why Yoongi…."

Was all you managed to say out loud before your emotions caved in. Understanding what you were asking he answered.

"I was so caught up in the new environment of growing up and moving on that I did what I thought was the best to not hurt you...but I didn't think far enough that doing so will indeed hurt you.. and I wasn't there for you like i was supposed to. It took a hard hit to my head to realise that I was wrong y/n… you were always there for me and stupidly I made this mistake… I thought i was thinking of the best for both of us, when in fact i was thinking of myself.. I was selfish and I realised that…so many things reminded me of you y/n, the clouds, the sun, the sight of roses, the smell of hot cheetos.."

You giggled a little at his last comment earning a little muffled one from Yoongi.

"I understand if you hate me for what I did to you y/n… and I don't know if it'll ever be the same between us again.. but I'm willing to try to bring back what we had... if you're willing to give me a chance…"

You exhaled softly before letting out everything that you've been feeling.

"I don't hate you Yoongi, I never could and I never will. You're everything to me Yoongi and I was just really hurt by what you did and how you ended things. So many thoughts went through my head and I won't even talk about how much you made me cry….you dipshit" the playful cursing nickname made Yoongi chuckle a little, slowly making him feel reassured at the directions of the conversation.

"I'm willing to give us a chance Yoongi..and you're right, I don't expect it to be the same as what we had, I just hate that I lost my best friend.."

"I know..i understand that..and I'm sorry..for everything"

"It's okay Yoongi, I'm sorry too… maybe I should've been more understanding…"

"Hey… do you.. wanna hang out Tomorrow night?"

"You wanna hang out?"

"Yeah, i wanna see you and catch up with you"

"Sure Yoongi that'd be nice"

"Great!! I'll meet you at the café by our old highschool?"

"Sure Yoongi, sounds great"

"Right then, I'll see you tomorrow?"

"See you tomorrow Yoongi"

You could hear the smiles in each other's voices as you both bid goodnight and hung up the phone. You didn't know what it was exactly but you knew just from that phone call that everything was going to be alright. You felt like you breathed much easier now, your mind much lighter. Yoongi felt the same, he was smiling more now filled with the excitement of meeting you again tomorrow after years.

-----------------------✨------------------------

You made sure to check yourself out in the mirror a few more times before heading towards the café. You had chosen to wear a simple yet stylish outfit, your hair tied back in a low loose ponytail, your short hairs framing your face. You were nervous yet excited to be reunited with your best friend again. And as you approach the café, there he was. Standing outside the door of the café waiting for you. The now slightly more mature looking, dark fluffy haired man, wearing a long black coat was looking just as nervous and excited as he was looking down at his feet.

"I didn't know you needed glasses to see now"

your voice made him turn his head fast in your direction. The moment his gaze landed on you, it felt like highschool all over again. The way you looked standing there, just centimetres away from him. He took in your slightly matured face yet he told himself that you hadn't changed one bit.

"It's official, you're old Yoongi"

He chuckled and playfully scoffed at your comment.

"Well at least i don't dress like the satanic spawn of depression and hot cheetos"

"Sure thing Mr. I'm still a millennial emo teen"

The two of you laughed, and the world seemed to slow down. The feeling that nothing ever really changed between the two of you was knowing, however this time something felt entirely different. Both of you could feel it for sure. It was the feeling of a bond stronger than both friendship and love. You didn't know what the feeling was exactly, all that you knew was that you're never losing each other again. All this while you've been sitting there watching the feelings you had burn and crash in the worst way possible, but today right here at this café, right in front of your eyes you watched everything Begin Again.

#bts #bts fanfic #bts fanfction #bts au #yoongi fanfic #bts min yoongi #min yoongi #bts yoongi #kpop fluff #bts fluff #bts angst

[tyunniverse]

TXT x DISNEY Halloween Shorts 🎃 (3/5)

pairing: ot5 x reader

genre: fluff — college au

warnings: light swearing

synopsis: there's a halloween event at your uni and a few students are in the mood for misfit.

yeonjun | soobin | beomgyu | taehyun | hueningkai

BEOMGYU | Beauty and The Beast (2.2k)

“Careful with the hair!”

You hiss when Jinsung, your classmate and stylist for tonight, slaps your hand away after attempting to touch your hair.

“If I even see a single hair strand out of place, so help me I will shave your entire head.” He warns, tapping your shoulder with his brush. “Now go out there and get us some customers. The others said they'll have the food ready on time.”

“Alright.” You try to smile at him and he returns your smile with a sour look.

Your department was throwing a Beauty and the Beast style buffet right in front of your building. Canopies were set up, clothed tables lined around the vicinity, and classy decorations covered the area to add to the whole atmosphere. The dishes to be served are supposed to mimic the food found throughout the movie, with the servers dressed up as some of the minor characters. By some odd stroke of luck, you ended up being chosen as Belle and you were pretty sure some guy named Yeonjun from the other class was supposed to dress up as the Beast.

You got up from your seat and fetch the flyers from the table. The plan was to head up to where the crowds are and advertise your event there. You were all set to go, the only thing left missing being your partner.

Out of nowhere, a group of guys dressed as dwarfs appear. You can't make out what or who it was that they're carrying, but they were surely in a hurry, not caring a bit about their surroundings as they zoom past you, causing you to stumble back. Your heel catches the end of your gown and you start to fall backwards. Closing your eyes shut and bracing yourself for an awkward fall, you were pleasantly surprised when your back hit something soft instead— definitely not the concrete below— someone's chest you presume, their arms quickly wrapping around you protectively.

“Careful.” You hear the person say as they slowly help you on your feet. “Jinsung might throw a fit if you ruin your hair.” He chuckles, bringing his hand to his face.

You turn around and nearly got a scare when you're faced with the face of a beast, quite literally. Turns out your partner hadn't planned on being late after all. “Yeonjun, right?” You haven't actually met the guy but you've heard a few people talk about him. They say he had died his hair pink recently but you couldn't really see behind the terrifying full head mask he had on. You wonder how well he could breathe inside that thing.

“Uh, yeah.” The Beast replies, seeming somehow unsure of his own name. “I'm Yeonjun.”

“Nice meeting you then. I'm Y/N.” You don't bother offering him a handshake, knowing that you two barely had time to chat. “Let's get going. It's almost time.”

Beomgyu stays a few feet away from you as you handed out flyers to a bunch of costume clad strangers. Both of you were pretty busy right now, but he still manages to steal a few glances at you, admiring how beautiful you looked in that Belle costume. He almost wishes he could see you dressed like that everyday. Impractical, sure, but it was just a passing thought anyway. Thank heavens the costume had small peeping holes, otherwise you'd have caught him dead in the act of staring at you every few minutes or so.

“Try our buffet!” He greets two of the students passing by, handing them a flyer.

“What do you think, Soojin?” The student holding a tray of candied apples asks the other.

“I think not. We still have to visit that guy in the infirmary.” The friend replies. One of them gives Beomgyu an apologetic look before they leave.

Beomgyu watches the crowd pass by, his eyes naturally wandering to your side. He finds himself smiling when he saw you all focused on attracting customers, even going as far as to give them brief reenactments of their favorite scenes. Beomgyu loved that he was able to spend this time with you. He only wished that you knew it was actually him inside the costume and not Yeonjun, but he couldn't even find the courage to bring it up. He's not even sure why.

Yeonjun had asked him earlier today to be his substitute in handing flyers. Beomgyu had initially declined, but after hearing that you were going to be his partner for tonight— You, the student from across the hall that he'd been crushing on since freshman year— he was more than ecstatic to accept. This was his chance to actually interact with you without making things awkward.

“Why the fuck did I even say I was Yeonjun?” He huffs, only now had he found his costume stuffy. He really could have just told you before you started on your work, but he panicked and told you a lie instead. Great.

An hour had passed and Rina, one of your classmates, had come to inform you two that a lot of people were now dining at the buffet, and that you were allowed to rest for half an hour before your final wave of work.

You spot a bench nearby and walk over to Yeonjun. “Hey, let's take a rest over there.” You point at the bench. Yeonjun merely nods and follows you as you made your way to it. You take notice that he barely talked to you the entire time you were together. People said he was a chatterbox but apparently not tonight.

Just as you two sat down, Rina came back— this time, looking for someone. “Hey, have any of you seen Beomgyu?”

Hearing the name made you pause and blink. “Beomgyu?”

“Yeah.”

“No.”

You glance at Yeonjun who kept shaking his head.

“Haven't seen him.”

Weird, you think. He was purposefully changing the pitch of his voice as he spoke to your classmate. You figure his throat was probably just dry from all the advertising he did earlier.

Rina turns to you, eyebrows raised with a smirk plastered on her face. “How about you, Y/N? I'm sure you've seen him.”

Eyes wide, you feel the heat rushing to your cheeks. Rina knew about your obvious crush on Beomgyu. The entire class knew. A few jokes were made, like how when someone from his class is looking for him, they'd ask if your Beomgyu radar was up and running. That joke was brought upon by your own little ability to somehow spot him easily within a crowd. That however, proved useless tonight. You hadn't seen him at all.

You spare Yeonjun a look. This was not a good time for Rina to be teasing you. He and Beomgyu are classmates and if he found out that you had a crush on the guy then who knows what'll happen. You didn't want him to think you were crazy when Rina ends up saying something stupid and overly exaggerated— you hope she won't. Your crush on Beomgyu wasn't even that big of a deal. Sure, sometimes you'd find your heart fluttering when you spot him laughing from the other side of the hallway, and maybe sometimes you'd wished you could just come up to him and pinch his cheeks but you've barely even spoken to the guy so—

“What are you talking about?” You laugh it off, patting Rina on the side while slipping in a few stink eyes. “I haven't seen him at all.”

“Is that so?” Rina sighs. For a second, you thought she would just let it go when she turned her back on you but the devil in her was in the mood to play. “Tell me when your Beomgyu radar picks him up then! We need him to help in the kitchen.”

Yeonjun turns to to you. “Beomgyu radar?”

You shrink in your seat.

Was Beomgyu hearing right? Did your classmate just ask you something about a Beomgyu radar? Your Beomgyu radar? Did she normally joke like that or was it intentional? Perhaps she knew he was the one in the costume and not Yeonjun, but he highly doubted that. Could you perhaps?

Beomgyu turns to you. “Beomgyu radar?”

Your face shifted into a mix of emotions that Beomgyu had trouble deciphering. “D-Don't mind her.” You stammer, waving your hands at him. “She's just joking as always. Ah, Rina, such an asshol— assertive joker.” You laugh.

“Right.” Beomgyu laughs along. He felt disappointed, thinking that he was probably just reading too much into it. “What are the odds of you crushing on Beomgyu, right?”

“Exactly!” Your reply was quick. Too quick for Beomgyu's liking. He observes your reaction and notices how red your ears were. Were you embarrassed? Was the idea of crushing on him too much for you? Did you not find him attractive in the least? At this point, he knows he was overthinking but couldn't help but succumb to it.

“Yeah..” He sighs, slumping his back on the bench. “He's probably not your type.”

You flinch. “What?”

“There's not really much to like about him.” Beomgyu shrugs.

“You're wrong.”

He sees you cross your arms, a frown present on your face. “I haven't really met him yet but from what I've seen in the past few years, I can say that there's a whole list of things one could like about him.”

Oh? Beomgyu certainly didn't expect this. “Like what?”

“He's one of the most considerate people I know.” You smile. “Sometimes I'd see him cleaning up after others, giving up seats on the bus, and going out of his way to help anyone in need. He even helped me out that one time I was late for our finals.” You chuckle at the fond memory. It was the day you made up your mind about him.

“It was pretty embarrassing though. I was running through the gates and tripped. I sprained my ankle and no one else was around except for Beomgyu. Turns out he was also running late but didn't even stop to think twice about helping me. He carried me to the nurse's office and stayed there until my friends arrived. I couldn't even thank him properly after that since I was pretty disoriented. In the end, we both had to take the finals at another time.”

Beomgyu blinks. He can't believe you still remembered that day, especially when it was the very day he himself started crushing on you. Though, he'd always thought you didn't know who he was when that happened. “Oh..” He couldn't bring himself to say anything else.

“You know what?”

Beomgyu turns to you.

You smile. “He's exactly my type.”

Beomgyu didn't know what to feel. His cheeks heat up and he's sure it wasn't just the mask making him that way. You talked about that moment so fondly that it almost made him think that maybe— just maybe his feelings for you weren't all that one-sided after all.

He chuckles. He's about to do something stupid.

“Y/N.”

“Hm?”

“Do you perhaps..”

“Like him?” Beomgyu watches silently as you take the time to think.

This was probably too much. What if you didn't like him after all? Could he live knowing that he tricked you into answering that, thinking he was someone else. His thoughts come to a halt when you nod.

“I do.” You chuckle. “No use in hiding that now, huh?”

Beomgyu gulps. “Then..” Then what?

“Hm?”

“What if I say Beomgyu liked you too?”

Your furrow your brows in confusion. “What?”

Beomgyu grips the end of his mask. “I like you.”

“Yeonjun, you're not making any—”

He doesn't let you finish, yanking the mask off his face and revealing his disheveled look underneath.

“Beomgyu?!” You jump in surprise, and he stands up, following you. “How—”

“I like you, Y/N.” Beomgyu says, no longer caring about the consequences that'll follow after. “I really like you. I have for a long time now.”

You stare at him, speechless. “I.. haha.” You cover your face in your hands, laughing. “This is a joke right?”

“I wish it was.” Beomgyu awkwardly shifts in his spot. “But it's not. I'm being honest. I really like you.”

You move your hands away, now looking at him. “You know, as much as I want to hit you right now for tricking me into thinking you were Yeonjun all this time and basically had me going off about how much I appreciate you,” You pause. “I just can't.” You say, your cheeks reddening.

“Y/N, I—”

“There you are!”

Before either of you could react, Rina appears out of nowhere and grabs Beomgyu by the arm, practically dragging him way from you. “We've been looking for you all night! Jin wants you in the kitchen asap.”

Rina flashes you a thumbs up and you couldn't do anything but smile. “Good to see that your Beomgyu radar's still working!”

Judging by the way he was being mercilessly dragged away from you, it looks like Beomgyu had his hands tied with no escape. He waves his free arm at you. And you get the message. You're gonna have to talk about this soon.

You look down at the flyers on your hands and couldn't help but blush. He likes you too.

#txt imagines #txt x reader #beomgyu x reader #beomgyu imagine #beomgyu imagines #beomgyu fluff #txt fluff

[sienna-writes]

On the Border of Blinking | update 2

more poems ! yay :)

Writing poetry is so comparatively stress free than my other projects right now - so I can confirm that this anthology continues to be a joy to write! I am absolutely loving how it is coming along and it feels more naturalistic than my previous collection. There are hints of weirdness here and there because I’m Weird, nice to meet you - but overall it feels a lot more grounded and I love it! I think I hid, to a certain extent, my personal experiences behind a lot of nonsensical images previously so this feels more honest, a bit more scary... and also braver :)) [Having said that, nothing against my old poems I still really love some of them but I was definitely still finding my footing and experimenting so some were pretty messy. and that’s okay !! without the mess, the ‘mistakes’, etc, i wouldn’t have gotten to this current collection :) ].

One thing I'm noticing is that for an anthology i wanted to be about living presently, moment to moment, blink to blink — it's incredibly ?? nostalgic ? :")

it's definitely becoming a trend that i cannot stick to the concept i commit to but i'm honestly not too concerned about it at this point. I'm very proud of how it's shaping up to be and so glad that I'm still able to write poetry while my unfinished short stories and novel collect dust. [will get around to them ... am just ... so tired ......]

cw: abuse (only for the first one and not in depth)

the poems;

witness, weary

I wrote this the morning after a particularly ... heated night in my family and it explores the fatigue of living in an environment that can be violent at times, where you are gaslit, terrified and caught in the midst of it all, feeling trapped. It explores, in a paradoxically ~quiet~ (muted maybe ?? i am a writer but can't words) tone, the denial that follows afterward. How it is played down if you have the courage to bring it up again, or more realistically, ignored entirely and left un-talked about. How it hurts less if you pretend it didn't happen. It is gentle to mirror a house becoming still after its storm and people occupying less space when they are hurting, so as not to cause a bigger scene.

these are the moments i held my breath

this one is relatively self explanatory ! the most memorable moments I have held my breath in my life lmao :”) and then i cheated and added another in where I probably should have been holding my breath but was young and stupid and panicking and Did Not. 

infinite

i love this poem so, so much. It is honestly just a bunch of "maybes" that developed into something that just indescribably ✨aches✨ whenever i revisit it. I doubt anyone would feel that same ache, but it's cathartic for me at least. I don't think I had a plan going into this, it just spiralled out of me and then with editing it has become a new fav of the anthology. The lines all rely on each other, so above is the first line :) ^

I sat in the park and imagined

So this poem is about standing on the moon and imagining, clearly. :D

lol

i was sitting. in a park. imagining: hey what if a bomb exploded right now? and then started to write a poem about that situation. I kind of like it! It is unlike anything I've written before, and I'm learning to accept that kind of scenario as a positive. It was more comedic than i thought it would be, but then again my humour is often incredibly unfunny to everyone but myself and close friends so idK man. it's an amusing read to me. :")

unholdable

an incredibly short poem ! for me anyway ! I never thought I'd be able to write a poem under 500 words in the last anthology. (there were some big bois). then when writing this collection I was like huh ok my poems are pretty varied yay, and then b o o m this one was a mere 97 words and the lowest until then that i had written was 233. I think it's a good sign - I'm becoming a more economical writer and saying what I crucially want to say without diluting the meaning. also, it shows I'm experimenting more with structure and form and im ✨always✨ down for that.

measurements

human insignificance through the lens of blue whale facts !! no I'm not kidding :) yes that is genuinely this poem :)) pls end me :D <3

i jest, yet unironically love this concept even if im not ✨fully✨ comfortable with the execution yet. It's almost there it just needs some final tweaking I think.

snatched

a haiku about a deer eating grass in a graveyard in the snow :) cus that's a thing i witnessed and it was eerily beautiful :) and haiku's are a beautiful form :)

conclusion;

it's going ! good ! I could share lines this time because i am not yet submitting these poems. i plan to with some but again, I've only recently written them so haven't gotten around to it yet :"D not looking forward to it ahah submitting is painful and takes me way longer than it should.

tag list (ask to be added/removed!):

@alicewestwater @elaz-ivero @coffeeandcalligraphy @hanwatchingmovies @chloeswords @nev-953 @justahufflepuffnerd @writerschronicles @august-iswriting @jennawritesstories @jaydewritesfiction @avakrahn @chewingthescenery

#oof ok #i sleep now #that took a long time to write out and lets face it i was hardly saying much #correction : saying a lot but little of substance bahaha #good lord #i need sleep so fricken bad #ok #writing #writer #writers #writers of tumblr #writeblr #writers on tumblr #writers community #poet #poetry #written #poets on tumblr #poetry book #poetry anthology #poetry collection #writing update #just writer things #poetic #poets corner #my poetry #on the border of blinking

[unholyhelbig]

[A/N: I finally updated "Dead Ivy" after a good year. Here is Chapter one if you haven't checked it out yet!]

Beca could feel the soil beneath her fingertips. It was soft, freshly overturned, and in a way, comforting. She was careful not to let her knees touch the ground- not privy to the dark stains that would splay against the fabric. The tree stood tall above her, stretching its large oak branches towards the pluming blue sky. A nice summer breeze tussled her hair, and she was sure that if she breathed in, she would smell freshly cut grass and chlorine from the neighbor’s pool.

The treehouse had long since been torn down to make room for her mother’s garden. Something that stood at the end of the fenced in yard. For a while, she grew tomatoes and zucchini. Beca could still remember the first red bulb that poked its head from the dirt. They made a salad from store-bought spinach and divided up the little thing, no bigger than a golf ball. It was still the best tomato that Beca had ever had.

She sighed at the hand that squeezed her shoulder gently. Her father smelled of aftershave and bourbon. His tie wasn’t fastened all the way to his white button down, and he had strung his suit jacket over his arm. He held a sad look that was shielded by the sun as Beca squinted at him. She pulled herself to her feet, feeling the age of her aching bones as she stepped back from the large oak tree and stared up at the branches.

“Do you remember when I fell out of this tree and broke my arm?” She asked.

Her fathers’ eyes crinkled at the memory as he gave her a sad smile. She had needed him to run beside her when he first took the training wheels off her bike. She had needed him when she learned how to drive and took out the Johnson’s mailbox. But when she dropped from a higher spot in the oak tree and felt something audibly snap, it was her mother that came to the rescue.

She had been clipping up sheets to the clothesline, claiming that the summer air was always better for stuff like that. A beautiful woman that would beam endlessly and cradle Beca in her arms with her stormy eyes and eerie calm. Beca needed that right now. Needed it to get through the handshakes and the hugs. The baked goods and casseroles that people deemed necessary when something like this happened.

“I do.” He chuckled wearily, “I got a call at work that something had happened. You scared the hell out of me that day, kid.”

Beca snorted at the nickname. She and her father had gotten along significantly better since she moved out on her own- took up a place and a prominent career across the country in Los Angeles of all places. She had, of course, taken time off work to come back for the funeral. To pull into the sleepy little Georgia town with a giant oak tree that shook in the summer breeze. She squinted at the bark, at the carving so crudely made by a grooved pocket knife.

C + B FOREVER & EVER

The second half was etched in different handwriting, something more elegant and thought out. It was funny, really. When they were kids, it was easier to think about the future in terms of relationships. Of course, they would always be with one another- they wouldn’t fathom being apart. But then college. Careers. Plane rides. Marriage, kids, and divorces. All inevitable. All anything but forever.

“She still lives around here, you know? Owns a little café in the far side of town.”

“That so?”

He grunted and sniffed away any feeling that still leaked in his voice. No one would question them for standing out here- but they still felt obligated to go back inside the old farm style house with the wrap around porch and the honeysuckle bushes. Beca didn’t know how he could still live here. “Yeah. You should pay her a visit while you’re here. I bet she’d like that.”

Beca simply nodded and let the tips of her fingers trace of the words that had been weathered over time, but they were still there. They had stood the test of time, unlike her treehouse. Unlike the little plants of tomatoes and zucchini that had rotted away to decaying vines that stretched like deadened ivy up the side of the fence.

“Right. Well, we should probably go back inside. The quicker we talk to everyone, the quicker they can go home and mourn their memories.”

It was a grim thing to say, but it was the truth, so her father let the words die in the air before sliding on the suit jacket to cover up the sweat stains against his dress shirt. She let her hand fall and looped it around his arm like he was escorting her down the carpeted floor of a chapel on her wedding day. Instead of white, she dawned black, though. And so, did he.

She thought that drinking and sadness walked hand and hand. It was why the only two bars in town did so well on any given night, and if things were bad, any given day. The other place, the snake eye, had karaoke on Friday nights and Beca didn’t think she was well equipped to listen to TLC, so she chose The Red Sun instead.

There were repurposed Christmas lights strung against the bottom of the counter, hot to the touch. A low rock ballad cracked over the loudspeaker. She wasn’t sure if the jukebox that changed light settings every few beats actually had a purpose or if it just ate up quarters. Either way, Beca Mitchell was in her own world.

She tilted her head back and let the bourbon burn on the way down. A nice and subtle sting that washed the taste of stale crackers out of her mouth. It was the only thing in her stomach- despite the spread that was now packed with tin foil in the fridge. Her father was drinking too, she was sure, at home in his study. The house was too quiet for her, though.

Beca felt a twinge of guilt in her gut.

She had ignored the last call from her brother. She was in the middle of the meeting, and at the time, the buzzing of her phone sounded louder than anything else in the world. She flushed instantly and clicked the side of the device before staring back down at her notes and sunk further into her seat.

He had died the next day, she had forgotten to call him back. A car accident and a drunk driver. Which, she supposed, defeated the purpose of being here- in this stupid some-hazy bar with nothing but time on her hands. She considered switching her flight to something earlier. But then reconsidered as quickly as the thought entered her mind. Her father needed her, at least for now.

“Beca Mitchell?” The voice startled her, it broke through the garbled focus of the next song. She blinked a few times and turned her head to the side. Stacie Conrad. She looked older, wiser even, but maybe that was the glasses. The smile on her face aged her, but in the best way. Still impossibly attractive, and confident, it seems. “Is that really you?”

“As I live and breathe.”

She winced at her use of words, but Stacie didn’t seem to notice as she quickly wrapped her in an awkward hug, Beca still half-sitting on a bar stool. Still, she craved the embrace and hugged back naturally.

“God, how are you?” She pulled away, “That’s a stupid question… I mean, as well as you can be, I hope.”

Before Beca could answer she lifted her hand in the air and signaled the bartender, the woman busied herself with preparing Stacie’s usual and pouring another sour edge of bourbon into Beca’s glass. She wasn’t sure if she would drink it or not, but she appreciated the sentiment behind it. Stacie settled into the seat next to her.

“I’m doing fine,” She finally managed, earning a detrimental look. “As well as I can be.”

The bartender set two glasses in front of them and Beca wrinkled her nose at it before focusing her attention on Stacie, the way her own drink looked like radioactive fluid. It was always the fruity things that packed the most punch. Not the gritty glass that she would be nursing for the rest of their conversation.

“I’m sorry to hear about him, you know.” Stacie finally said after a beat of silence.

Beca simply nodded. She was numb to the situation at this point. Her whole body felt like a lead pipe. She and Jason didn’t get along too well. He traveled the world and she resented him for that. But they played nice during the holidays and smiled for family pictures. He got divorced young, married even younger. It still ached her whole entire being.

“You and most of the town,” Beca chuckled dryly, begging for a change of subject. “I haven’t seen you in what? Eleven years?”

“Twelve. God, we’re old.”

She was thankful that her high school friend could take a keenly dropped hint. The two of them encircled the same click during those years. It was better than giving in to the southern tenacity of it all. They would smoke behind the bleachers and drink if they were feeling lucky. They usually were.

Beca caught a glimpse at the wedding band that took over Stacie’s finger. It was simple, not overstated with large diamonds. A simple one that was surrounded by two smaller stones. She smiled “You’re married now?”

She took another gulp of her fruity drink and hummed in response, instinctively twirling it around her ring finger. She got a goofy grin on her face and twirled slightly to make eye contact with Beca. Sure, she had seen the social media posts. The cute announcements and the picturesque scenes.

“Happily, at that, we invited you to the wedding, you know?”

“I know, I know. And I’m sorry I couldn’t make it.”

“S’alright,” Stacie said with a beaming smile “Rose loves the panini press.”

Beca scoffed and picked up her glass, chancing a sip of the molten liquid. It hissed as she swallowed, and she blinked away the residual prick of pain that collected behind her eyes. Stacie glanced behind her at the group of girls that she had come in with- doctors like her, she supposed. They all had that tired professional look that the woman beside her carried.

“Listen, uh, how long are you in town? I’d love a chance to catch up in a setting with better lighting.”

“A couple of weeks, at most. We have to settle his estate.” She grimaced at the technical term. “I’ll be around.”

“We’ll catch up, promise?”

She gave Beca a squeeze on her shoulder and a sympathetic smile, but she didn’t say it again and Beca was thankful for that. She watched as Stacie went to the four other colleges that were in her inner circle. They all asked questions and cast wary looks her way- she lifted the glass and gave a smile before turning back to the bartender. She was cleaning out a glass and eyeing her.

“Promise,” Beca mumbled, tipping her head back the rest of the way, finishing the glass of bourbon she hadn’t even ordered.

#Beca Mitchell #Chloe Beale #bechloe #bechloe fic rec #pitch perfect #pitch perfect fic

[barnzbucky]

reach for the moon - chapter 3 (Ivar x Reader)

Pairing: Ivar x reader; Hvitserk x reader (but not really)

Summary: Hvitserk makes two invitations you can't say no.

Warnings: alcohol consumption, mentions of arranged marriage; mentions of unrequited love; dialogue heavily inspired from the movie sabrina (I don't really remember how it went, but I think the talk with her father about the moon is pretty similar); please, ket me know if I forgot something.

Word count: 2.8k

A/N: I am pretty sure I had a feverish dream of me posting this on Sunday... I guess I forgot. But I am doing it now, and I haven't slept the whole night, so forgive me for any mistakes in the post. Hope you enjoy reading! ❤

masterlist | series masterlist

The market was already full by the time Hvitserk got there. He took his usual spot near the butcher, leaning in a wooden pillar to watch the people come and go, desperate to set their stand ready for when customers arrived. Soon enough, in the middle of the loud fishermen and running children, he spotted you, smiling and talking to a few merchants while buying your own food, carrying a heavy basket on your arm.

Before making his way to you, Hvitserk felt a hand on his shoulder and immediately turned to see who was keeping him, not being surprised when it turned out to be Ivar.

“Can you at least behave, Hvitserk? Your bride and her father arrive today, and it would be better for everyone if you kept yourself from courting other women while they’re here.” His brother’s voice was low and calm, a huge difference from when they left off the day before.

“I’m behaving, Ivar, but I can’t promise you anything. If Y/N wants me to touch her, how cruel would I be to deny her?” Hvitserk laughed and gestured his head in your direction, making the king turn to you.

When Ivar finally set eyes on  the woman Hvitserk was referring to, his breath got caught on his throat. You looked different from the last time he saw you. Your hair was now shorter, your posture straighter, and your smile certainly wider. The way you carried yourself didn’t remind him anything of the girl he met on the beach so long ago, but Ivar wouldn’t forget about you so easily.  He almost wondered how a person could change so much in 5 years before he remembered himself. You looked breathtaking. But, of course, interested in his brother, and to make things worse, he had to make a plan to send you back to where you were.

He swallowed and turned back to Hvitserk, trying not to sneer at the look in his face. Worse than you liking his brother was both of you liking each other.

“Hvitserk, the king will stay here for a week after the engagement feast, tonight, and then he will only come back for the wedding. Control yourself.”

Hvitserk laughed and removed Ivar’s hand from his shoulder, “We’ll see, Ivar.”

Ivar turned back and headed back to the Great Hall before Hvitserk reached you, refusing to watch someone who helped him so much when he needed, even if he knew nothing about you, fall for his brother’s charms and stupid courting ways.

“Do you need help?” You nearly jumped when you heard a voice whispering in your ear, turning around abruptly to see the smile that haunted all your dreams and thoughts over the last eight years or so.

“Ha! Prince Hvitserk, you almost scared me to death!” You laid a hand over your heart, breathing heavily. Despite your tone, the wide smile on your face told him your were anything but displeased to see him.

“I’m sorry, I promise it wasn’t my intention,” he chuckled and reached a hand to cup your face, his thumb briefly caressing your cheek. “How did you sleep in your first night back in Kattegat?”

You cleared your throat before answering, trying to disguise the way he made you flustered after the unexpected touch. “I slept very well, thank you. No nightmares”

The honest smile on his face quickly turned into a teasing one. “Any dreams, then? About a handsome prince who rescued you from walking home alone, maybe?”

Your fake gasp only made his smile wider, and he took the basket from your arm, quickly following after you, walking further into the market to continue shopping.

“There’s a feast tonight.” He stated, and you hummed, distracted with the fruit stands, and he continued. “Do you want to come?”

Your head quickly turned back to him, immediately forgetting about the apple you were examining, with eyes sparkling and a blinding smile on your lips. “Yes, of course! I’d love to.”

So far, in the few hours you were back in Kattegat, Hvitserk had already made impossible your goal of forgetting about him. Between walking you home and inviting you personally for a party in the Great Hall, he had your heart hammering in your chest from the excitement of spending time with him.

“Great!” His hand returned to your face and you held your breath when he placed his lips on your cheek, before leaning further and whispering in your ear, “I’ll see you there, then.”

You made the utmost effort to stay and continue your tasks in the market, but the giddiness and excitement had you rushing back home to start planning your clothes for the feast.

After taking what it seemed like forever to arrive home, you decided that your house was too far away from the city. You exasperatedly opened the door, startling both of your parents, and cheerfully greeted them both, before setting the basket in the table and heading to your own room.

The exchanged glances  by your parents went past you, but your father quickly followed suit behind you.

“What happened?” He asked, not entering your room, standing at the door and watching you go through your dresses with a frown etched on your face.

You turned your head to look at him, and the frown disappeared, making way for the smile you had when you got home. “Oh, prince Hvitserk invited me to the feast tonight, and I wanted to decide what to wear as soon as possible.”

Your father sighed and walked further  into the room, sitting on your bed. He had a feeling this would happen the moment you arrived with Hvitserk, and it was what he feared the most. You were barely back from Gleðiborg, after five years, and had already went back to your old habits of living and breathing for Hvitserk. It almost destroyed you the first time, and he feared it would happen again. Arne figured you still didn’t know the latest news about your beloved. Not many people did, but you certainly deserved to.

“Y/N…” He started, hesitating to tell you. You had such a beautiful smile on your face, and he hated that he had to be the one to wipe it out. “You need to know, prince Hvitserk is marrying a princess soon.”

You immediately froze when  he said those words, your mind having difficulty to process the information.

“What?” You turned back to your father and went to sit beside him. His arms immediately wrapped around you, much too used to comfort you after you ended up sad because of something the prince had said or done. “But… he doesn’t seem in love.”

Still wary of the subject, Arne shook his head and continued, “He is not. It’s a marriage arranged by King Ivar to set an alliance that will benefit Kattegat greatly.”

You let out a relieved sigh and laughed, quickly getting up and going back to your task of finding the perfect dress.

“So he’s not in love, nor is he married yet.”

“Y/N,” your father said with an unmistakable warning tone, but you paid no mind, “stop trying to reach for the moon, child, I told you that.”

Setting one of the options on your bed, you giggled and went to hug your father, receiving a kiss to your forehead.

“There’s nothing wrong with reaching for the moon, father. Especially if the moon is reaching for me, too.”

Your hands smoothed the dress for the uptenth time that night, nervous about the way you looked. You knew you had heads turning to look at you. Your dress, colored in a rich deep red, contrasting the dull colors of the street, was perfectly adjusted on your waist and breasts, enhancing all of your best features.

With a confident smile on your face, you entered the Great Hall, immediately being welcomed by the loud song and the talking, the strong smell of roasted meat and leather quickly overwhelming you, not much different than you remembered.

Occasionally stopping to make conversation, you walked around the room, making sure to avoid the shadowy corners and standing in the center of the party. It didn’t take long for Hvitserk to find you.

“Y/N!” The crooked smile and twinkling eyes had you grinning back, and you almost laughed when you felt the strong smell of mead coming from him. You maintained your confident smile and tried not to blush when his eyes roamed over your body before setting back on your face. “You’re here, and you look beautiful.”

“Thank you, Hvitserk.” You giggled, any thoughts of insecurity quickly leaving your mind. He handed you a horn filled with the drink before taking your free hand, walking you to a quieter and less crowded side of the room.

With more moving space now, Hvitserk started to sway, trying to find the rhythm of the music. He sneakily rested his hands on your waist and brought you closer, making you move to the song with him.

"Dance?" he asked, though you were past the point already, after dancing together for almost one entire song.

You barely smiled and quickly took control of your own body, dancing and moving, until you could barely breathe with laughter and bliss. Under the influence of the alcohol and the adrenaline, you couldn't stop smiling and giggling.

After a while, Hvitserk leaned in to whisper in your ear, moving slowly, giving you time to regain your breath. "We can go to somewhere quieter, if you want."

Immediately, the scenes you used to watch played in your head. He would take a woman to either the corner of the room with the dimmest light, or to the beach, bring food and drinks to court them, and trying to impress them, most if not all times successfully. To you, he looked at them like they were the most beautiful woman in the world, and you always dreamed of having him look at you that way. 

You weren't stupid, and knew they weren't actually important to him, everyone knew Hvitserk was hard to stick with only one woman. You knew why he was coming at you, asking you to get out of there. But you also knew yourself, and knew enough to entice him and to make him continue to chase you and to want you.

Despite that, you couldn't contain the smitten smile on your face. "Oh? We go to the beach, you bring mead and fruit, and tell me about your adventures overseas?"

As you predicted, Hvitserk leaned back again and laughed at your teasinging tone. "Aren't you so intelligent, Y/N?"

You grinned. "I'll meet you at the beach, then."

He returned the smile, and headed to the main table to grab the things you mentioned. 

You watched him go, momentarily caught in your thoughts, and had to shake your head and take a deep breath to snap out of them. Before turning around to walk to the beach, you caught king Ivar's piercing gaze directed at you, him apparently lost in thoughts as well. You smiled tentatively at him and he quickly turned his glance away from you, as if he was caught doing something wrong or embarrassing.

You kept looking at him for a minute, wondering if he remembered you from that night. You didn't cross paths as children, with him not getting involved in playing with his brothers like you did, and spending a lot of his time with Floki, the boatbuilder. And as you grew up, even less so.

You liked to think he remembered you. Except, you didn't know if he paid any attention to your face that night, or even if he would recognize you after 5 years. Hvitserk didn't.

You tore your eyes from him and headed outside, starting to walk the familiar path to the beach.

Carefully moving between the people, Hvitserk was being as discrete as he could, trying to avoid being spotted by any of the kings present. He knew, if one of them noticed him, it would be nearly impossible for him to go out and meet you.

Unknown to him, his younger brother kept track of him for most of the night.

Ivar noticed you as soon as you entered the Great Hall, wearing a dress colored especially to call attention to you, red as blood. You outshone every woman in the room.

He caught himself watching you more times than he cared to admit, and had to force himself to pay attention to king Fredrik's never-ending monologue, often wondering when he went from ruthless to diplomatic.

Cursing himself, Ivar suddenly wished he could be more like his brothers, because he didn't understand how a woman whom he had heard speak only 2 or 3 sentences, was so interesting to him. 

But when you locked eyes with him and smiled, he remembered the last time he allowed himself to be completely vulnerable, and it brought an uncomfortable feeling he hadn't felt in a long time.

Knowing all too well of his brothers intentions, collecting food and mead, he knew he had to act quickly and come up with a plan good enough to keep things under control, at least for the night. Fredrik was starting to get inpatient because of his brother's absence.

Ivar shouted his name and Hvitserk had to bite his tongue to avoid cursing his mother for making him so unable to avoid her youngest son and his plans. 

Despite the annoyance, Hvitserk walked towards Ivar, keeping his gaze away from king Fredrik and his daughter, princess Tove, his bride, someone he was fairly acquainted with. She smirked when she saw him.

"What, Ivar? Hvitserk asked, not bothering to hide his annoyed tone, knowing it would irritate both his brother and his bride's father.

Ivar signalled for him to get closer, enough so they could talk without being heard by their company.

"You need to stay here and talk to them." Commanding and resolute, Ivar's tone left little for questioning.

"I can't, I have someone waiting for me," Hvitserk responded through gritted teeth.

"Yes, Y/N." He cleared his throat before continuing, "I'll make sure she knows you're sorry you couldn't meet with her tonight." Hvitserk clenched his jaw and Ivar knew it would take more than that to convince his brother to give up on spending the night with a beautiful woman and instead amuse a very boring old king. "Please, Hvitserk."

That did it. He nodded and Ivar let out a breath before getting up and excusing himself.

The cold wind and the strong smell of the sea forced you to reminisce something you wanted to keep hidden for good, and you had to take a deep breath to calm down and remember you weren't there for a bad reason.

That thought made you smile. Knowing you caught the attention of the man you wanted for so long, and for so long you thought you couldn't have, was of great pleasure to you. Being the center of Hvitserk's attention was everything you dreamed and more, if you could say so based on the time you spent together at the feast.

When you opened your eyes, the sight of the waves and the moon brought another memory. The very last time you were there, crying for yourself and for prince Ivar, listening to him do the same. That was a hard night for both of you.

Almost recreating that night, though you were sure it would be the complete opposite, you heard someone coming behind you. An immediate smile took over your face at the thought of Hvitserk.

But when you turned around, it wasn't Hvitserk there with you.

King Ivar stood before you, forming a sight you weren't expecting to see.

Seeing him up close was unlike merely exchanging a glance across the room, from afar. You could see all of him now.

You couldn't help but compare him to Hvitserk.

They were almost opposites. Hvitserk owned the sunlight when he stood in it, reflecting his clear eyes and warm, flushed skin, making his smile brighter than usual. It was a sight.

But Ivar, between the dark background and dim illumination, his bright blue eyes were alluring, and the shadow on part of his face, not covering but enhancing all the best, almost made you lose your breath. It was like he belonged in moonlight.

He looked just like you remembered, but oh so different. 

Despite the obvious changes, like the longer hair and matured face, what caught your attention was the tired look on his face; the angry frown you remembered was no longer angry, but still a frown.

And he looked as pretty as you recalled then, and earlier, from afar in the Great Hall.

"King Ivar," you said softly after a minute or so, not knowing if a bow was necessary, "where's Hvitserk?"

tags: @luvjiminssi  ; @ryukjin  ; @hecohansen31  ; @heavenly1927  ; @youbloodymadgenius  ; @ace-fiction  ; @poisonous00  ; @jzr201  ; @rose1729 ; @shestrying2write ​ ; @zuxiezendler  ; @learninglemni-blog ; @didiintheblog  ; @the-jess-life  ; @blonddnamedhandz  (if you’d like to be tagged or to be removed from the tag list, just send me a message/ask, no problem ☺️ if I wasn’t able to tag, please check if your blog is available to show on search) 

#ivar x reader #ivar imagine #vikings imagine #ivar the boneless #vikings fanfiction #vikings ivar #ivar the boneless imagine #ivar the boneless fanfiction #barnzbucky

[yuhyoongi]

Anniversary

1 - Morning

-hoseok pov-

i wake up to my phone ringing. i already knew who it was before i checked the caller ID. it's most likely my best friend. i pressed the answer button. "GOOD MORNING" a loud voice yells into the phone. "ow! Anjila i just woke up. hush" i say. i hear a squeak of a voice "i'm sorry" she apologizes. i sigh and shake my head. "it's alright. what do you need so early? it's 7:54 am Anji" i ask her. i hear her giggle "i was wondering if you wanted to.. uh.. go to the carnival with me today?" she invites me out with her. "i would love to, but i'm going with yoongi. it's our three year anniversary! remember? i'm going to propose to him today!!" i tell her quietly so yoongi doesn't hear me in the other room. "oh. okay. that's all i was wondering. have fun. bye" she quickly hangs up before i could apologize. i quickly send her a text:

“hey Anji, im sorry for not being able to go with you. i'll make it up to you somehow! i'll be pretty busy so i won't be easy to reach! have a good day todayyy”

i fall back asleep.

some time later, i feel a hand shaking me. "hey wake up! im about to start making breakfast!" i open my eyes. yoongi is smiling down at me. he plants a kiss on my forehead and walks out of the room. i rub my eyes, then proceed to get out of bed. i check the time: it's 8:59 am. i go in the bathroom to shower and wash my face. today is the big day. i'm going to propose to yoongi. i know he'll say yes, but what if he doesn't? that would be embarrassing. i love him, i cant lose him. we'll be able to have a future together, finally.. my mind wonders for a few more minutes until i hear a knock on the bathroom door. "hoseok-ah hurry up! breakfast is getting cold!!" yoongi yells through the door. i quickly begin to rinse the conditioner out of my hair. "okay, i'm coming!" i say and then turn the shower off. i grab my towel and dry myself before putting on my outfit for today. yoongi and i decided to match our outfits:

(hoseok in purple, yoongi in black)

i brush my hair and teeth. i walk out of the bathroom and into the kitchen, where i find yoongi patiently waiting for me. "there you are!" he exclaims and rolls his eyes. i laugh and the notice he hasn't eaten. "why haven't you eaten anything?" i ask him. he looks at the two full plates of food. "i was waiting for you," he smiles at me. i shake my head and smile back. i walk over and sit next to him. he made pancakes, bacon, a sunny side up egg, hash browns, and orange juice. "thank you" i kiss him and begin to eat my food. it was very very good (obviously). he finishes a couple seconds before i do. i stop him from doing the dishes. "i'm doing them since you made breakfast," i tell him. he shakes his head, but i refuse to let him. he finally gives up and sits down. i quickly wash them, dry them, and put them away. i check the time. it's 10:13 am. "so what shall we do first?" i turn around and face yoongi. his eyes widen a little bit. "i haven't really thought about what we would do before the carnival honestly. it's still early. we can go shopping maybe? or see a movie? or we could sleep?" yoongi throws out ideas. i nod. "we can do all of those. we have time! firstly, we'll go shopping. then we can go see a movie. then we come back home, take a nap, wake up, fix ourselves up, and go to the carnival!" i smile at yoongi. he laughs and stands up. i watch him as he walks to grab his shoes. i follow and put mine on as well. i grab my phone and slip it into my pocket as we walk out of the door. "should i drive or should we uber?" i ask. yoongi tosses me the keys to the car. i laugh and shake my head.

__________________________________________

2 - Out and About

-hoseok pov-

of course, i take him to his favorite stores. today i am determined to make yoongi the happiest he's been in years. i want today to be his day. to be our day. we get all sorts of new clothes. i take yoongi thrifting with me so i can find some new, cool prints. i secretly buy him a gift while we're at a store. i buy him a skateboard. i figured he'd like it. the design just spoke of him. i nearly pass out because i almost drop the ring box out of my pocket. i buy a new pair of shoes. they're sandals. i also get a new pair of sunglasses, as does yoongi. we put everything in the trunk of the car. then we drive to go see the movie. we haven't quite decided what we want to see yet until we get to the theater.

when we arrive, i park as close to the front as possible. we walk inside and look at the options. we decide on Avengers: Endgame. we walk into the theater, prepared to be devastated. the movie begins. i'm already crying at the very first scene. luckily, i brought tissues so i pat the tears away. i look at yoongi and he's holding the tears in for later. i decide to do the same. i cuddle up to him and continue to watch

*time skip through the movie*

the credits start rolling. i'm crying into yoongi's shoulder. he's crying too. we stand up and wipe the tears from our faces. as we begin to walk out of the building, we put on our sunglasses to hide our red eyes from the world. we return home and bring all of our bags from shopping inside and leave them in the living room. we walk into the room and plop onto the bed, exhausted from the crying. "i cant believe they did that" i being to tear up again. yoongi pulls me closer to him and comforts me. "it's okay. it's just a movie" he says to me and runs his fingers gently through my hair. i calm down and slowly drift off into sleep.

__________________________________________

3 - Always and Forever

-hoseok pov-

i wake up to my phone aggressively vibrating and making a loud noise. it's my alarm. i go over to shut it off, but yoongi beat me to it. "we should get up and get ready to go" i say to him and sit up. he shakes his head and goes under the covers. i shake him. "come on!!" i exclaim. he groans, yawns, and turns the other way. i pull the covers off of him and pull him out of bed. "let's goooo!" i yell and push him into the bathroom, where i proceed to splash water onto his face. his eyes open immediately. i laugh at him, then start washing my face. he rolls his eyes and grabs his face wash. after washing our faces, we fix our hair, and grab a lint roller and fix up our outfits. i look at him in awe. i have never seen someone so beautiful in my life. he always amazes me everyday. not with just his looks. with his everything. his fun personality sways me. i fall for him harder every breath i take. i truly want to spend the rest of my life with him.. i smile. he looks at me. "are you staring at me?" he asks. my face gets hot. "uh- no" i say and look away. he laughs and shakes his head. "i'm gonna go grab.. something," he says and walks into the bedroom. THAT WAS SO EMBARRASSING i scream in my mind. i look in the bedroom. yoongi is adjusting the waist of his pants. he pulls his shirt a bit much over one area. i shrug it off and go grab my new shoes.

as i'm tying my shoes, i feel eyes on me. i look to my left and yoongi is sitting on the couch looking at me. but once he notices me looking at him, he looks away. how is it that we've been together for three years, yet we still get embarrassed when caught admiring the other person? i ask myself, not coming up with an answer. "i'm ready to go" i tell him. he nods his head and shakes the keys. "i'll drive us there" he says. i open the door for him, and we left.

when we get in the car, we turn on the directions to the carnival. it's near the more sketchy places in the area. yoongi is on edge about it, but i'm excited. i checked the time. it's 6:30 pm. i wait until we get a red light, then i scream loud. yoongi nearly jumps out of his skin. i laughed and he playfully punched my arm. "don't do that!" he yelled. i laughed more. he began to chuckle. i smiled and looked out the window. we're close to the carnival. i suddenly get extremely anxious thinking about proposing to him tonight. fireworks go off at midnight every year during the carnival. that's when i planned proposing.

we pulled into the parking lot. i look at all the lights for the rides and games. it was beautiful. i was super excited for it all. tonight was going to be the best night of my life. i was determined to make tonight amazing for yoongi. i was the first one to get out of the car. i jump up and down as yoongi gets out and close the door. he locks the car doors and we walk in. i look around at all the tall rides and the tons of games. i look over to see yoongi's face. it's lit up with amazement and excitement. i pull him over to the first ride. it's the ferris wheel. we get on and look at the view. he thought the view was pretty, but i thought he was prettier.

we get off, and get on more intense rides like roller coasters. then we decide to get food and play arcade games. yoongi rushes over to the basketball game. he wins the biggest prize. a life size gorilla plushie. while he does that, i decide to try the shooting game next his game. i end up winning a small prize. we both go over to the balloon popping game. i end up popping the most and get a medium prize. i exchange the small and medium for a large prize. i get a large sloth plush.

after hours and hours of playing games and going on rides, it's 11:57. yoongi and i go for a walk a little away from the carnival where we can be alone. we countdown to the fireworks. well, he counts down to the fireworks. i countdown to when i propose to him. it's 11:59.

ten seconds.

nine seconds.

eight seconds

seven seconds

six seconds.

i get on one knee

four seconds.

three seconds.

"min yoongi..."

one second

"would you make me the happiest man in the whole entire galaxy by marrying me?"

fireworks

yoongi gasps. he begins to cry. "yes!" he yells. i stand up and hug him. "i love you so much hoseok. i'm so happy" he sobs into my chest. i hug him tighter. "i love you too" i whisper. i put the ring on his finger. i laugh and choke on my tears a bit. he looks at the ring. "it's perfect" he says and smiles at me. i smile back. his gaze suddenly darts to something behind me and his smile drops. he pulls me behind him. i look to see what he was looking at. there's someone pointing a gun at us. "stay there!" i hear the person yell. i go next to yoongi. "it's okay" i whisper to him. he nods his head. the person steps into the street lamp light. "Anjila? what are you doing?!" i yell. she starts sobbing. she looks me in my eyes. "why not me? i've been here for you your whole life! you haven't noticed me! i've been your best friend for all this time, i've wanted something more! hoseok i'm in love with you for god's sake! why can't you love me back!!" she screams at me. yoongi looks at the ground. "Anjila. i'm sorry. i just can't return those feelings. i'm sorry if i hurt you in any way" i apologized to her and my eyes started to tear. "you take my happiness, i take yours," she begins to move her finger on the trigger. she aims it at me, then at yoongi. "you don't deserve hoseok" she says, then pulls the trigger. it hits yoongi in the stomach. "NO ANJILA WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? YOONGI NO. STAY WITH ME. PLEASE!" he falls to the ground. i rush to his side. i see metal poking out from his waistband. he brought his gun with him? i wonder and look. yeah, that's a gun. i think in my head. i grab it and put it in my sleeve. "Anjila, how could you?" i scream and sob onto yoongi's chest. "yoongi you're strong. you got this. everything will be okay. we will be okay" i say to him and force a laugh through my sobs. i stand up and turn to Anjila. "h-hoseok i-i'm sorry. but you have me now! we can finally be together! see!" she starts to walk towards me. i pull the gun on her and shoot. i hit her in her chest. she collapses. i run to her, crying. "i'm so sorry Anjila.." i mumble and walk to yoongi. "H-HOSEOK, N-NO" he yells while choking on blood. i hear a loud BANG and then there's a stinging sensation in my back. i fall to the ground. she shot me. i realize. i drag myself over to yoongi. i make it to him. the stinging sensation turned to burning. "y-yoongi i'm so sorry" i cry and look at him. he shakes his head and touched my face. "everything is okay" he says very calmly. he kisses me. "i love you so much yoongi" i say to him. he stares at my face. "i will love you forever. i'll see you in our next life. don't forget me, i love you Jung Hoseok. until we meet again.." yoongi says with a smile and rests his head on the ground. his chest stops moving. "n-no!" i yell, choking on my own blood. "I will love you for the rest of eternity Min Yoongi. always and forever. until next time..." i say and lay next to him, feeling my body go numb until everything goes dark.

so that’s the end of the story. i’m open to all feedback. it’s my first time really posting a story i’ve written. let me know if you enjoyed the story. if you didn’t, tell me why. xx

#sope #yoonseok #yoongi #minyoongi #hoseok #junghoseok #suga #jhope #btsfanfic #btsfanfiction #jhopexsuga #yoongixhoeseok #sopefanfic #sopeimagine #sopeimagines #yoongifanfic #sugafanfic #jhopefanfic #hoseokfanfic #fanfic #bts #bangtansonyeondan #btsship #btsarmy #army #btssuga #btsjhope #fanfiction #sopescenario #bts sope

[seyaryminamoto]

I've been browsing your blog for Sokkla research as I feel like it has similarities to what I'm trying to write with Azula and Soren. I haven't begun tackling Gladiator yet, as it looks a little daunting, but I feel I should since I keep hearing so much. I am a little hesitant over accidentally using anything you wrote for my own story. I'd be proud if I could make it as long and epic as yours. It's very personal to me. What motivated you to write Gladiator and keep writing for so long?

Yeah, I saw your post about your crossover ship having potential similarities with Sokkla and I agree that it would, since Soren shares a few traits with Sokka, character-wise. Admittedly, Azula interacting with a character like Soren would present quite a lot of fun possibilities, so it seems to be an idea worth exploring :)

As for reading Gladiator and accidentally using similar tropes… well, I don’t know if it will ease your mind much, but there are several tropes that I’ve run into in many Sokkla fics, mine, other people’s, just… lots of them xD and it’s not really a problem. Storytelling can lead to similar places, but usually, every writer handles their tropes and character development differently.

My plan for a certain, poignant scene in Gladiator’s 96th chapter was set in stone in my head back when I started plotting the fic (like I said in that ask I answered yesterday). The scene in question is one I depicted in some artworks for Gladiator’s second anniversary: Sokka defeats Azula in combat for the first time, pins her down, aims his sword at her, and they just stare at each other before things take a pretty heated twist...

A few months after planning this, I read another fic where practically the same thing happened between them (it’s a Spanish fic, I hadn’t tried reading it yet because it was incomplete, sometimes I still scold the writer in question for never finishing it), only, rather than it happening when they could no longer resist the attraction between them, it happened when they were barely getting to know each other: Azula followed Sokka into a forest clearing, where he was training on his own. Upon noticing someone was hiding in the bushes, he leaps at her and pins her down, aiming his sword at her as well. Of course, he freaks out upon realizing it’s her, she isn’t very happy, and no heated things happen other than a lot of blushing, especially on her part xD

So, as you can see, even if the trope is “Sokka holds Azula down, at swordpoint”, the context was entirely different, the outcome was completely different and heck, the wording and even language we used was 100% different.  I came up with the idea for Gladiator before reading Majesty, later on I found out that someone had written a very similar scene already (and it was a close associate of mine, no less xD). As much as I didn’t feel like I was all that original anymore… I didn’t change my plans because of that. As long as I didn’t pull a Cassandra Clare and copy-pasted the whole scene my friend wrote into Gladiator, where was the harm in trying my own hand at it? I wrote the tropey situation in my own way, with my own words, and it’s completely my own thing.

There was something else that happened with Gladiator, another friend read it and thought I was taking inspiration for my portrayal of Sokka and Azula from a couple in a TV show she loved. Turns out I’d heard about the show, but I hadn’t watched it until she nudged me enough to do it (no regrets!), and after watching it I understood where the similarities were, but the context was all different. More than that, a certain situation (Sokka admitting his love for Azula for the first time, she asks him to say it again) was close enough to what happened between the main couple in said TV show…

… But I actually had been inspired by another couple, in ANOTHER TV show, that had a slightly similar exchange too xD

Therefore, tropes are tropes. I’ve recycled so many tropes in so many things I’ve written that people could probably psychoanalyze me and figure out all my brain chemistry damn easily if they did. I tend to have a very particular structure when writing, too (the original story I wrote and finished had 3 parts, Gladiator has 3 parts too, to name the most superficial similarity only), and I’ve frequently explored similar topics in them. It’s hardly a crime to do it again, but as long as you do it in a unique way, there’d be no harm in testing how some tropes would turn out with Soren and Azula. It could be worrisome if you portrayed Soren reacting to events exactly the same way Sokka does, but that’s not very likely to happen. As similar as they can be, they’re also different in several ways and in the post where you compared them you seemed to see those differences pretty clearly.

Therefore, I don’t think there’s any real harm in trying your hand at certain tropes and situations. If the context is different, if there’s logic to what you’re writing, and of course, as long as you write it yourself, there’s absolutely no need to worry about repeating things other people have done before.

That being said, don’t feel pressured to read Gladiator at all. I’m glad people have recommended it, but I understand if it feels not only daunting but that maybe you won’t be sure what to write if you see all the stuff I’ve done so far. Gladiator is many things, and one of them is my playground for testing Sokka and Azula’s relationship in just about every way I can xD it’s so long that I’ve been free to play with all sorts of possibilities with them, to fulfill all my shippiest wishes for these two. Therefore, if you’d rather be true to your own ideas and not get too influenced by it, it’s absolutely understandable not to read it until you feel comfortable about giving it a shot (presumably, once you’ve plotted plenty of own story and feel like you won’t be at risk of taking too much inspiration from it).

As for what motivates me… well, I guess there were many factors. One of them is that Gladiator was an idea worth digging into, with so much to explore that I was completely overwhelmed by the possibilities and I got completely caught up in it. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted the story to exist, so I decided I needed to make it happen. As it’s practically a full re-write of ATLA’s storyline, I had a chance to just… handle everything on my terms. And that meant the developments I didn’t like from the show could change: I could improve on things I thought needed improvements, I could add things that I felt the show needed, and so on and so forth. There were nearly no limits, really, and as I was absolutely lost in the beauty and glory of my OTP, I couldn’t help myself and I decided to dive right in.

It helps a lot that Gladiator’s kind of a multi-faceted thing: as I’ve been developing my art too, whenever I was bored in class I’d sketch things related to it and then, if I had a chance and the sketch was good enough, I’d finish the art digitally later. I have a lot of music that inspires me, so sometimes I just sit down, listen to it, and I let myself evoke scenes that I want to write or draw. Fact is, the whole fifth anniversary project was a mix of art and music: the songs that inspired many arcs of Part 1, along with images that referenced them.

Lastly, though… I generally know where Gladiator’s going, so I don’t usually reach a point where I’m like “Woah I have zero plans for what to do next”. I plot things for the story whenever I have nothing to do (when I’m traveling places, when I’m showering, when I’m waiting for something? Just, whenever, wherever). If an arc isn’t shaping up to be particularly fun, I try to figure out what to do to make it more interesting and appealing for me to write. Whenever I come up with something I’m hyped about writing, it helps me keep on writing until I get there. Sometimes that’s also a curse because I go overboard and write like… 12K in a single day because I am that hyped about whatever I’m doing :’D happened a couple of weeks ago xD

Anyways, always try to fulfill your own needs with your story, first and foremost. Sometimes your public won’t be 100% receptive to your ideas, but sometimes they’ll actually want exactly what you’re putting out there for them. The magic of fanfiction is that, if someone doesn’t like what they’re getting, there’s absolutely nothing to stop them from taking to writing a story they do want, right? So, why should we try to please other people instead of writing what we’d want to read?

Make your story something you can revisit and smile about, make your story something you can find value in, regardless of whoever tries to undermine it. Make it yours, make it everything you want it to be. Want humor? Set up humorous situations (I mean, your lead couple would be Azula and Soren, humor’s basically guaranteed xD). Want tragedy and angst? You can have it too. You really can do anything, as long as you make up your mind to get it done. Figure out what it really is you want to write, the key scenes, the development you’re looking for with your main characters, come up with plans on how to get them where you need them to be, and once you feel you’re in solid grounds for it, feel free to start writing and always keep on looking forward to the big things you’ve wanted to write for your fic.

#crackship-azoren #I've always thought the most important advice is to write what you want to read #because so many people are so busy trying to please an audience #they start privileging the wrong things over what really matters (shock value over storytelling for instance) #stories will have conflict and tension and big moments and small moments #let your own ideas be your guide though #no one will know your story better than you #if you don't write what you want to read #there's a pretty big chance no one else ever will #... this got long #oops #well not as long as other things I've answered at least #if someone wants a read more let me know...