#i fell down this rabbit hole way too fucking fast

[lymtw]

Thinking about Toji trying to prevent you from having nightmares, but you're just so sure that a light is enough to keep you from being scared.

"You really gotta stop watching shit like that before bed. It's late," he says, watching your thumb scroll to another eery video.

"It's fine. It's like watching during the day with this lamp over me," you say, shrugging off his warning. Your brows crease slightly, your heart thumping a little faster in your chest at the plain image in front of you that only seemed to distort more as you swiped.

Toji watched your reaction every time you scrolled to another video, digging deeper into this rabbit hole of supernatural, disturbing-looking entities. You looked uncomfortable, but you were on a roll.

"I'm going to bed," he mutters, smoothing down the crease between your brows before getting up. He stops at the beginning of the hallway, peeking at you one more time. "You coming or what?"

"In a minute," you mumble, still deeply invested in what entity your birth month and the other months are given, and the survivability rates.

Toji rolls his eyes, muttering to himself as he makes his way to the bedroom. He knows you're gonna sike yourself out and go to sleep even later because of those stupid videos. But hey, he warned you.

You follow five minutes later. In reality, you only felt comfortable watching those videos because Toji was hovering over your shoulder. When he left, your senses were tricked by everything. The curtain swaying was really the wind blowing through the window. Things that fell off the coffee table weren't balanced to begin with. That wasn't enough to convince you anyway, so you turned off the lamp, and tip-toed away quickly. You turned your head in the direction of any open door, closing it immediately before reaching the bedroom.

Nothing could have prepared you for the scream that formed in your stomach, flowed to your chest, and rolled out your throat. Toji had crouched down on the floor, and camped it out until he saw an inch of your fuzzy pajama pants. He didn't even have to make a sound, the act of him just grabbing your ankles and pulling you down was enough to make your heart explode.

He laughs like the menace he is, hushing you as he wraps his arms around you and sways your trembling form with his. You're breathing so fast, trying to relax even after finding out it's just Toji.

"Should've followed me to bed, hm?" He kisses the back of your head.

"Fuck you, Toji," you squeak out with the remainder of soul you have left in you.

"Told you to stop watching those stupid videos, didn't I?" He can feel your heart thrashing against his palm.

You scramble, trying to escape his arms. "I'm sleeping in the living room," you grumble, gripping the doorknob, ready to slam the door.

"You don't wanna do that, princess," Toji says in the calmest voice, a sly grin on his face. "It's still out there waiting for you."

Your hold loosens on the metal, your foot flat on the ground now.

"Mhm, I think you're better off toughing it out with me."

You give in, and roll into bed. Toji chuckles at how far you are on your side, practically falling off the bed. He joins you on his side of the bed, gradually getting closer to your warmth until he's centimeters from spooning you. You huff and put your hand back against his chest when you feel his legs trying to tangle with yours. He pushes it back towards you and wraps around you tightly.

"There's one under the bed, too, and you're way too close to the edge." Toji grins at how quickly you stop trying to squirm out of his hold, stilling completely.

If scaring you is the only way to get you to listen, he'll gladly do it again.

#toji fluff #toji x y/n #toji x you #jujutsu toji #jjk toji #jujutsu kaisen toji #toji fushiguro #toji x reader #dilf toji #jjk x y/n #jjk fic #jjk scenarios #jjk x you #jjk x reader #jjk fluff #jjk #jjk fanfic #jujutsu kaisen fic #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #fanfic #toji fanfic #toji fic #jjk fushiguro

[hermionesslut]

RABBIT HOLE 🐰

(natasha romanoff x fem!reader)

꒰ synopsis ꒱ just straight smut, no plot just😭😭

꒰ content warning ꒱ smut!!!! smut!!!! g!p nat, daddy kink, overstim, praise kink

꒰ author’s note ♡ ꒱ hello, i haven’t written in a while, that whole thing iykyk set me off a bit😭, but i’m like totally over it lol anywaysssss, this ain’t that good

when nat got home from her exhausting digressive day, much to her dismay you were already fast asleep. with an exasperated sigh, she falls on your shared bed, her eyes linger on you as long as they can, and she notices how your chest rises and falls with every breath. natasha thinks of how beautiful you look even in the moments you are unaware. she loves every part of your body but struggles to remember what it was like ruining it. in this instant, she wants to so badly. she undresses, simply because she still has her clothes on from outside. you, however, are barely wearing anything, the intense coldness outside is having trouble translating in. (probably due to the heater). you lay with nothing but a tank and your underwear.

again, natasha lays beside you and gives you a soft kiss on your cheek, soon she moves her way down, she whispers, “fuck, you have no idea what you do to me,” she swiftly reaches into her boxers, her breath is hitching, you’ve got her so worked up. she moans as she feels precum coating her cock, she thinks of you making her feel good like this. it would feel so much better for her hands to be your tight pussy. her moans are getting more laborious to mask. she feels herself getting closer, that is until she sees you turn around and mumble “natty…”.

“baby, i-fuck, please help me finish,” she pleads.

“nat, i can’t i have to wake up early tomorrow, you know..” you reply. you’re unsure if she’s willing to listen to reason, you’re answered when she grabs your breast through your thin top, she pinched your nipple while biting on your neck. “too much nat,” you breathed. you’re still half asleep. you struggle to hold back your whines.

“just make me cum, i promise i’ll let you sleep,” she asks. you hesitantly hum, with that she moves your panties to the side, she slowly, with intent glides her large hard cock inside your aching hole. “i knew you wanted this, look how wet you are, fucking slut.” natasha makes her way inside you entirely too fast and rough. “fuck, daddy!” you make her feel so good, her cock throbs inside you and her deep, staggering moans. she roughly grabs your throat, her other hand holds your waist. you’re no longer worried about the morning, you don’t want this to end.

“i’m gonna cum, natty, please.”

“what, already? be a good girl for daddy and hold it. i wanna cum inside this needy pussy so bad.” her movements don’t slow down, you can’t hold it much longer. you plead, “can i cum, please?”

“beg for it, and then i’ll let you, baby.”

“daddy, please, i need you so badly, i wanna cum i can’t do it without you, fuck me, please.” you comply.

“okay, cum for daddy, bunny, you’re doing so well.” after coming down from your intense high, she starts to rub your clit, she starts off soft and grows stronger. “i-stop-please, it’s too much. i can’t, i can’t.”

“cmon, you can give me another right? sit there and take it. be a good slut, bunny. i haven’t even came yet, you promised.” she said, she rubbed your clit harder and she noticed tears glistened from your cheeks and it made her harder. you melted beneath her touch once she moved closer to you for a moment and her moans in your ear became more infectious and intense. “you’re gonna make me cum, fuck fuck fuck.” she cried. you came the second time this night but with her. once you were calm again, she kissed you softly, and tonight you finally fell asleep in her arms.

#natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha romanov x reader #natasha romanoff fanfiction #natasha romanoff imagine #marvel #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x reader #natasha romonova #natasha romanoff smut

[thesunshineriptide]

Twst Headcanons - They get sent to your dimension (part 2 - Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde, and Diasomnia)

Characters: Kalim, Jamil, Vil, Rook, Idia, Malleus, Lilia

Tw// depression, anxiety, mild body horror, existential crisis, mania, swearing, separation anxiety, grief

(Part 1 - beginnings)

Kalim

* Kalim is okay, for a minute or so

* He’s another who passed out on the way to our world, everything too bright and loud and thick

* When he entered our world, he was caught with outstretched arms

* Jade stood there, holding Kalim for a moment before putting him down, and immediately bracing to catch Jamil

* Kalim is okay

* That’s what he’s telling himself

* This is an adventure! A game!

* Everything’s gonna be okay. It’s just gonna be this for a little bit, then back home again

* He’ll be back and throwing a party and seeing his family in no-time

* He say this, a bright grin on his face

* It doesn’t reach his eyes

* He insists everything is okay. He takes care of the others - everyone else’s need are important, right? Everyone needs some support right now

* He’s the housewarden of Scarabia. The dorm based on mindfulness.

* It’s his time to shine and help his friends

* He lasts about a week, which is pretty good all things considered

* Everyone saw his breakdown coming, though. Once they’d recovered and Kalim was acting..odd

* He was acting almost as Jamil would, but softer

* “Have you eaten today? Did you sleep at all?”

* He breaks down, and he sobs in the arms of his friends

* But once he’s done, he’s okay. He’s not alone. He has those he cares about nearby

* As upset as some people are about their magic being gone *cough*Riddle*cough* Kalim isn’t too bothered

* Sure he’s a promising mage but it’s not like he relied on it too much

* I mean his signature spell is rain

* Eventually he settles in and is the most gracious guest

Jamil

* Jamil lets out a scream

* This…isn’t uncommmon, to be honest

* I mean, he yells a lot.

* He’s around Kalim all the time, isn’t he?

* But he’s also processing pretty fast that they’re falling into a different world

* Somehow the sight of the universe collapsing and opening around him, through him, on him, doesn’t make his brain melt

* Probably because he’s focusing on trying to grab Kalim

* He failed, but luckily Jade was waiting on the other side

* He fell directly into the former eels arms, being caught and soothly swung to his feet with a smile

* Jamil took a moment to process thst Jade looked…different, but he couldn’t figure out why

* No, he had to find Kalim

* Which he did!

* He nursed his charge While he was unconscious

* Jamil has the quickest breakdown of everyone, because as soon as he’s confirmed Kalim is okay, he immediately started freaking out

* His magic wouldn’t work, everyone looked kinda weird, and he was stranded in a world with no magic with a bunch of people he kind of hates

* He panics for a solid 37 hours before he gets too tired and resigns himself to this new reality

* He picks up that Kalim isn’t okay, but just starts quietly prepping for when he loses it (successfully)

Vil

* No, no no no, this can’t be happening

* His eyes are squeezed shut and he’s choking back a scream as he gets sucked down the rabbit hole, so to speak

* When he’s opened them again, Trey Clover is holding him, and moving him away from a mirror

* His mind is racing, for a moment

* After the moment passes, he plasters on a confident smile and chokes everything down to start helping

* He mostly does this by tending to the unresponsive (Kalim, Riddle, Azul, Floyd, Malleus)

* He spends quite some time trying to coax a response from Azul, but after a while decides letting him be alone to collect himself might be a better tactic

* Instead, he immediately looks around your home, observing everything he can and straightening things away

* Little Spudling, your taste in decor is…interesting…

* Eventually when he seems satisfied with his nosiness, he turns his attention back to the group

* He ends up giving a few haircuts (Malleus lookin goofy as fuck here)

* Eventually when night falls, he goes for a walk about. He doesn’t come home until sunrise, but it’s clear by the redness around his eyes he was finally dealing with some feelings

* In the morning he sits down for a cup of tea with Riddle, Jade, and Kalim, and they all enjoy the silence

Rook

* Our favorite French huntsman had no issues with what was going on

* It seems like he should be freaking out, but instead he got to the beauty of two universes kissing and collapsing on each other

* He also got to witness the transformations of everyone who fell before him, and boy was that a sight to behold

* He’s the only one who managed to land on his feet, unharmed, with a giant grin on his face

* Who needs magic when you have a whole new world to explore?

* No, Rook isn’t upset or angry or in denial

* He’s fucking ecstatic

* He does take care to help the person behind them when he falls (Idia)

* What he is disappointed in, though, is the observation that the king of beasts, the Roi de Leons, is no longer in fact, a Leon

* But he supposes it’s a small price to pay for this beautiful new world

* Don’t show him any of the bad parts or he will crack

* He spends a lot of time keeping tabs on everyone

* Jotting down anything of note

* He also rifles through your clothes so watch out for that

* No sense of boundaries, he’s an awful guest in that regard.

* What makes him good, though, is that he can still find literally anything you need

* You misplaced your keys? He knows exactly where they are

* Misplaced your formerly eel friends? He saw them leave for the store, so they’re probably running from the cops as we speak

* Don’t know where the remote is? He does that mom thing where he walks into the room and it basically just fucking materializes

* Also, he’s willing to do the laundry for everyone

* He doesn’t ever breakdown, actually, but he does get worried for the others who do, and that makes him sad

Idia

* Idia isn’t looking at his surroundings, because he’s not even facing the right direction

* He’s looking back to twisted wonderland, looking for ortho, only to find nothing

* As his sight of ortho slips away, something else fills it

* His flaming hair is smoothing into deep blue as the flames trickle away

* The ache in his bones seems to dissipate, and he begins to feel alive since the first time since childhood

* He closes his eyes then, and feels the smoothness of his teeth, the warmth in his breath, the beating of his heart

* And then he’s suddenly in the arms of that creepy stalker guy and he’s snapped back to reality

* Much like rook, he isn’t too terribly sad

* He breaks down second quickest, but recovers faster than Jamil

* It’s been so long since he’s done something without Ortho, it rips something open

* But after some breathing exercises, his head clears and he’s back to marveling at how he feels

* His hair hangs in his face, sky blue and navy and black and so, so soft.

* His yellow eyes have faded to amber, and his once shark-like teeth scare nobody when he smiles

* It’ll take some candy and movies before he’s ready to really be around people

* And maybe a bit of gentle parenting before he’ll open up about his grief

* But he’s going to be okay

Malleus

* He’s unconscious pretty fast

* Having hundreds of years of magic ripped from you is pretty exhausting, even when you’re one of the top 5 magicians in the world

* When he wakes up, there’s a throbbing in his head and dullness to his senses

* His joints feel stiff, and he feels lighter, and he’s staring directly up at a very concerned Vil Schoenheit

* “Housewarden Schoenheit, what is going o-“

* He sits up, sees his reflection, and goes completely pale

* His catlike green eyes are softer, his ears rounded, and his horns are gone

* He runs a hand through his hair unobstructed and laughs, somewhere between panicked and joyously

* “Now, that isn’t something I’ve seen before.”

* He doesn’t panic so much as have a manic air about him

* He’s not happy, no, but he’s isn’t upset either. And he’s certainly not angry…

* When he sees you, he runs over and tackles you in a hug

* It seems like there’s a breath held in the room until you hug him back, quietly asking if he’s alright

* “Well, it’s only fair that I’ve visited your world now, isn’t it? After all, you were a guest in ours.”

* Definitely doesn’t process it quickly, and doesn’t realize just how much he misses Silver and Sebek for a good few days

* Instead of a full breakdown, it’s more of a quiet depression

* He comes out of it, eventually, when you show him the world. He’s content to go to the store with you, to garden with you, to read history books and lounge on your couch

* What lifts his spirits, though, is that the people here down cower or run from him

* Yeah, he’s a tall guy, but he’s nothing more than that to them

* He spends a lot of time trying to keep Lilia from burning down the kitchen

* Super enjoys tending to any plants you might have, and frequently takes walks on his own (alone! How exciting!) to look at the architecture

* He gets in an argument with your neighbor about gargoyles though

Lilia

* Have you ever seen the grief of a parent?

* It’s an unstoppable, terrifying force

* Yes, Silver (and by extension, Sebek) are grown most of the way, but that doesn’t take way the pain

* He’s been caring for them so long, for someone for so long

* He knew what was happening just before he fell through the mirror, and choked down that realization as he shut his eyes and fell

* Something like warmth flooded him as his teeth grew duller and eyes turned more brown

* He felt the magic leave him in his bones, and was scared for the first time in a very long time

* When he came out the other side - still young looking, nonetheless - he wasn’t sure how to feel

* Might it have been more kind of he had simply disappeared altogether than to be separated from those he cares for most?

* Third fastest breakdown.

* Its somewhere between three and five hours after they arrived that he goes outside and wails

* He has literally 0 confidence that they’ll get back

* He has malleus, though, and that’s something

* Lilia is another that just gets kinda depressed. There’s not much he can do to fix it

* He does keep attending to Malleus, as always. But it’s more so that he’s going through the motions than that he’s enjoying things

* It takes the twins, surprisingly enough, to break through this

* It makes sense, when you think about it

* Jade, the calm and collected one, the one that keeps the wheels on the bus and encourages Lilia’s creative cooking,

* And Floyd, the spontaneous and near childlike one who enjoys things as they come, but will protect when needed

* Maybe the expression is really ‘there are two eels inside of you. One is Jade and the other is Floyd. They are both insane’

* Jade manages to coax Lilia out of his grief by asking for help on simple things.

* “Can you help me make some soup?” “Would you mind helping me with these documents?” “Might I trouble you for some help folding laundry?”

* And Floyd reopens his mind to other things

* “Flapjack Octopus, have you seen this? It’s hilarious! Come sit with me~” “You look sad, how’s about a squeeze~?” “Lilia-chan! Look at this stuffed toy! It’s so soft, and it looks just like you~!”

* It’s comforting to feel needed, to feel wise. It reminds him of when his wards were younger, and he almost feels at home again

#kalim al asim #jamil viper #idia shroud #vil schoenheit #rook hunt #malleus draconia #lilia vanrouge #twisted wonderland headcanons #twst our world au #twst au #twst yuu #twst mc #twst headcanons #twisted wonderland #scarabia #pomefiore #ignihyde #diasomnia #silver #sebek zigvolt

[sparatus]

Could I have some Tazzik headcanons please thank you

cracks open brain. let's see i used to make a lot of tazzik content back in the day what did i do with those hcs

Sexuality Headcanon: somewhere on the ace spectrum methinks, i think probably demi? like, generally not interested, but for certain people he's really especially tight with he'd be down

Gender Headcanon: listen i started thinking about this when i got this ask and my brain fell down the rabbit hole of how salarian society being as loppy-sided as it is wrt their matriarchy and sex ratios probably affects their gender stuff too but let's not get into that for now, i feel like tazzik specifically like. he hasn't really thought about gender much, it doesn't matter, but he also doesn't really care? so kinda agender in a way

A ship I have with said character: listen okay @onedismay kinda got me down for tazzik/shadow broker like i didn't use to be into it but dismay makes a very compelling case i love it i'm in let's go

A BROTP I have with said character: this is an old leaning-towards-crack theory i had but i like to think he and tela were bros, in the "you are literally the only other person in this organization i can stand working with" kinda way. like they get on each other's nerves and bully each other for fun but also they work together REALLY well, neither one is interested in anything beyond that but they're each other's first call when they want an extra set of guns around

A NOTP I have with said character: i don't think i've really seen any ships with tazzik other than with the sb tbh which is probably for the best. being an obscure hyper-niche character enjoyer is both a blessing and a curse.

A random headcanon: i wrote a fic for it ages ago but honestly. y'know how in me3 there's that one email you can find on liara's terminal from feron suggesting tazzik wasn't aware liara was in charge and feron was no longer a prisoner? i don't buy that, if you're as high up in the org as tazzik is and the sb's right-hand man there's no way you don't notice. i like to think he did know, he caught on pretty fast in fact (it's not like liara's whole rampage is exactly subtle), he just. didn't see a point in having a whole big confrontation about it. sure he's kinda peeved, but he's a salarian, his life is short enough, and liara didn't fuck up his paycheck at all, so he just keeps his grousing to himself and moves on.

General Opinion over said character: genuinely love him so much, he's such a great antag in the comic and personally i think he steals the show whenever he pops up. i should figure out how he and the rest of the sb crew work into exdiff, i love this giant grumpy frog man

send me a character

#press conference #Anonymous

[masonmace]

Kinktober Day 2: choking

Ft: Rem again (he’s not a child, he’s 25)

It was like a curse, lower half of his body trembling. Mouth hung open and face red with blush. Openly groaning and whimpering with each harsh slam of his lover’s hips into his own.

What an honor it was to be railing a pretty prince such as him. Pale, freckled skin glistening with sweat and spit and the milky moonlit. His black, curly hair stuck to his temples and splayed messily beneath his big head. Stammering sweet nothings.

It was hard to resist, leaning forward. His legs over their shoulders, granting more access to his pliant hole. Their hands pulling to choke around his throat. Having to use both. The way his body shivered and his eyes rolled in the action was something to die for.

The way he tightened around the intrusion. Rasping out a moan fit for the ears of angels. Cursing and pushing his hand to the base of his own dick. Squeezing in hopes to stop himself from finishing. The sensation of their hands cutting off his air had him shaking and twitching needily.

Their own grunts and groans were his favorite though. Synchronizing like a perfect symphony. “Finish.. inside, honey. With me.” He declared through slurred words. Golden eyes barely able to see the way they sneered at him. Only knowing it went straight to his gut.

Making a difference in his words. “So close, hurry..” he slurred. Gulping down and clenching his teeth. His hips jolting and rocking upward. Choking on his own tongue as their member jabbed right into his sensitive prostate. So close to losing it.

“I’m close, too, princey. Hold out just a bit more.” They rasped. And with those words, Remerald was panting and going screw-eyed. His glasses still on his face—barely. Heavy lidded eyes squinted and desperately clinging onto the edge. Relishing the way those hands curled so grossly around his throat. Choking the breath down and limiting it to a desperate wheeze.

There was a murmur of permission, and Remerald was immediately releasing in a hot white flash. His back arching and thighs tremoring with a gravelly moan escaping him. Shoving his throat closer to those hands. Which obliged and squeezed harder. Their sloppy thrusts planting right into his prostate. Leaving him twitching and whimpering. Growing more sensitive with each push.

The moment his love planted their hips and released into him, he fell limp into the mattress. Relaxing his muscles and panting, planting and hand on his abdomen, right where the warmth filled him.

(Found another list I like, so Day 2: breeding)

With my boy, Dietrich “Scotty” (i love him)

In Germany, Dietrich was known to be a beast on the field. Getting downright gruesome in the ways he’d pounce and snap their necks like a Jaguar would a crocodile’s.

Hell, he wasn’t much different in bed. The person he’d picked up tonight a perfect match. Whimpering and digging elongated moons into his back. His face pressed greedily into the crook of their neck, grunting and panting. Their thighs trapped by his body.

His knees neatly planted under their ass to keep it up for his use. Body hunched and tucked into theirs, letting those nails mark his back. Thrusting in like some sort of jack rabbit. Fast, greedy, and desperate. Measured smacks that reeled and echoed against his walls.

Trapped right beneath him, huffing and puffing and taking no waste to actually breathe. “One more time..” he hissed. “Fill you up one more time, okay?” He groaned. One arm peeling off to move and lace through and into that silky hair. Watching their desperate expression turn and twist into a delightfully needy one.

“Good.. fuck, so gut.” The german stammered. Scotty’s own eyebrows twitching and knitting together with a moan of pleasure. “Breed you so full of me..” he muttered, looking low and longingly into those eyes of theirs. Feeling the way they pulled taut around his dick. “Come for me.. schatz, one last time.” He grumbled.

This only meant he worked harder, big hands drooping to clutch their plush thighs. Gripping their legs under to knee and forcing them to their shoulders. Pinning them using his own. Taking care to use the entirety of his length in ever thrust. Plowing into them, knowing damn well he was hitting the perfect spot. Especially with the way they choked on a moan each time.

#Remerald #oc x character #kinktober2023

[frankiegirl]

wow i just fell down a celiac rabbit hole from one of the fb groups im in (yeah remember i am old) and holy fuck I did not expect it to hit like that people were talking about eating things they know will hurt them when they’re depressed and the inverse of that, being too afraid to eat anything at all and it’s like where do we go from here there’s this entire community just getting poisoned so easily and casually every day all the time and there’s just nothing to combat it and people go a good portion of their lives if not their whole lives not even being diagnosed and it’s like no this destroys our insides and can give us cancer in the long run and yet ? you go to the doctor and they say “awwwww sorry have you considered not eating gluten?” and you’re like have you considered what that looks like in the world we live in? it looks like over researching every restaurant and asking questions that make you look like an asshole. it looks like not being able to go places out drinking bc there’s nothing to eat. it looks like begging your friends to accommodate your diet. it looks like someone not taking you seriously enough and cross contaminating you and then you’re down for weeks until your body recovers. it looks like six fucking dollars for a loaf of bread and never ever being able to buy cheap noodles or fast food ever again. it looks like being concerned about eco friendly take away boxes because they’ve started making them out of wheat husks - and they SAY it’s not a significant enough amount to cause a reaction but it is. it really fucking is. it looks like eating things that are marked gluten free, even endorsed by the fucking celiac foundation, only to find out there’s wheat starch or some other thing in there you can’t have. it looks like not being able to have oats either bc they grow oats and wheat in the same fields opposite seasons. i don’t have a succinct way to end this lmao it just sucks

#sh #Ed #self harm #disordered eating #eating disorder #? ig #just damn hit in a weird way #and like it goes even beyond food lest we forget the dry shampoo incident of ‘23

[dreamii-yume]

Thank you so much for introducing Milgram to me! I never would’ve found it otherwise. Especially Mikoto, love his character and mv as well as trying to figure out if he has a split personality and is truly unaware or is just feigning innocence and is completely aware (which I honestly find more interesting). Sorry for the long rant and tysm!

YES, SPREAD THE WORD, DARLING. EVERYONE NEEDS TO FALL DOWN THIS RABBIT HOLE WITH US.

Other than being the perfect chracter to “Yanderized” lmao Mikoto is such an interesting character to me, especially because his music video is probably the most obvious yet, more complex to decipher?? Because it feels like the creators are already giving you the answer to his backstory, but there’s still something…missing. Here’s my take on him—Also this is just my own theory, so nothing is confirmed, but I’ll warn you about spoilers anyway :

Not so much as a Split Personality, but I think he’s pulling a “Yuno from Mirai Nikki” here lmao

If you watched Mirai Nikki, then you’re probably familiar with the scene where Yuno was digging this giant-ass hole in her backyard but then—Forgets why she was doing it the first place?? And then, it becomes this reoccuring thing throughout the show where she does something crazy, and completely forgets about it the next day?? Yeah, that. I think Mikoto is pulling something like that.

A thing about Mikoto that I’ve recently noticed is that he looks up at his job in such a high regard, almost something that is more important than his life—Going as far as saying that he won’t forgive us if he ever loses his job because of this experiment and I think that’s taking a toll on him. He pressures himself (or the company he works in) to do better, and when he gets too stressed out, what do you think happens? He snaps—And I think that’s where the other side of him comes out to relieve his stress by bashing people’s head with a bat. But because this is an action caused by intense stress, his brain just…rejects that memory as real thus, him not being able to remember anything about it at all.

So, yeah—I’m on the side of the spectrum where I believe that he genuinely doesn’t remember what he did, because his brain just simply…doesn’t want to—Haha…That’s not to say that he’s not guilty though lmao

Anyway—WATCH MILGRAM. ITS REALLY GOOD.

#Talk with Yume #milgram #kayano mikoto #yandere #i fell down this rabbit hole way too fucking fast

[whirlybirbs]

         (  chapter 6′s gif by @buckysbarnes​​ from this lovely set !  )

✪   —   VACANT MIRRORS  ;  B.B.  |  6/?

summary: gunshot wounds, panic attacks, and evil next door neighbors.

pairing: bucky barnes / f!reader

tags: set before & during tfatws, friends to lovers, therapy positive, trauma healing techniques, ptsd mentions, the normalization of anxiety disorders, and a good ol’ slow burn

word count: 5.3k, a filler before the real sexual tension.

a/n: be warned, this chapter has a diy medical procedure where bucky removes the slug from rabbit’s shoulder. it’s nothing too graphic, but keep that in mind! also, i wanted to say thank you to everyone who has rec’d, reblogged, commented, kudos, liked, looked at this fic. the response to every chapter has been so overwhelmingly kind and i’m so thankful that i have the oppurtunity to share this fic with you all. that being said, i broke this chapter up. next week has some spice. ;-)

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Bucky wakes up with a headache that feels like someone’s tapped an icepick between his eyes. A fire-bright burn radiates under his ribs.

It’s a slow creep back to reality — he just lays there and stares at the peeling wallpaper that meets the corner of the ceiling for a while, knowing deep in the back of his muddled, confused thoughts that he most likely has a nasty concussion, maybe a few broken ribs.

How? Hm. Fighting. Music? The club.

Rabbit.

He sits up fast and Bucky’s blue eyes struggle to adjust in the low-light of the scarcely furnished apartment. The searing pang of his headache is enough to make his stomach churn, but he’s had worse. So much worse. This is manageable. So, he swallows down the nausea and looks around the room like a wounded animal — and almost immediately, relief greets him at the sight of you in the armchair across from the couch.

Your hair is a mess, falling from it’s previous style that you’d proudly worn to The Glass Cannon. Your lipstick is smeared, there’s glitter on your cheeks, and your make-up has transitioned from starlet beauty to broken-hearted bombshell. Bucky notices, with a bit of dismay, that you’re even missing an earring. There’s a nasty bruise forming along the peak of your cheekbone and a gash there from when Alexei had cracked you across the face with the pistol — and even despite all this, Bucky can feel his heart clench at the sight of you. A good clench. The sort that makes his heart kick into a stutter step.

You look… well, you look like someone who’d had the shit choked out of them and then was shot.

Shot.

Your jacket, punched clean through with the single bullet hole, is hanging over the back of the chair and there’s gauze taped to your shoulder. You’re leaning your good cheek in your hand, attention turned totally to Bucky, where you’ve fallen asleep. From here, you’re a picture of exhaustion.

Anxiety flashes in his heart and he swings his legs over the edge of the couch.

Suddenly, there’s a hand on his shoulder.

“Take it easy.”

It’s the woman from before, Kiwi, and she’s got an ice pack in her hands. It’s wrapped in a ratty, green dish towel, and she hands it off to Bucky with a pitiful little look. Rounding the couch, Bucky finally gets a better look at her.

She’s older than you, maybe by a handful of years, but sharp and beautiful nonetheless. Her hair is dark as night and the tips are drenched in a lime colored dye. Her eyes are dark, too, ringed by kohl and glitter, and Bucky wonders if he’s ever seen her before.

“You heal quick,” she says quietly as she plops down into the chair across the room. On a makeshift desk, there’s a laptop, “Care to explain how you know our dear friend Rabbit here?”

Bucky shifts uncomfortably. Again, his eyes fall on your sleeping form.

He maneuvers the ice pack in his hands, then gently presses it to his ribs. He melts a bit, ignoring the evident tears in the silk shirt. He feels bad — he’d busted some of the seams in the midst of the brutal scuffle and it seems like this artifact of Jaimie’s was most likely beyond salvation.

His dog tags jingle against his chest.

“Therapy,” Bucky croaks, “We, uh, we met in therapy.”

A new voice comes into the picture now, one that’s muffled by a mouthful of food.

“That’s cute.”

It’s the other one, Climber. He’s traded in his all-black, all-polyurethane outfit for an expensive looking t-shirt. Without the strobes, without the tunnel vision, Bucky can now see the intricate buzz cut that sits beneath the mountain of blue curls on his head. There are patterns buzzed into his tight-shave. He’s got a smile, too, the glimmers a little too artificially. Bucky spies crystals inset on his incisors between bites of what looks like a bowl of cereal with no milk. Spoon and all.

“I don’t think we’ve properly met,” Climber says as he plops down next to Bucky on the couch, “What’d you say your name was?”

A hand is jutted his way. Bucky blinks. He shakes it with his vibranium hand.

“I’m Bucky.”

“Well, I’m gay and you’re gorgeous,” he says candidly, giving it a good shake, “So, if that’s of any interest—”

“Can you please shut up, Climber?” comes an irritated rasp from you in your armchair. Bucky turns to watch as you raise your head and rub your eyes, “Christ, I just fell asleep.”

“And your little supersoldier just woke up,” Kiwi chirps from her preoccupation with the laptop and contents on it, “So why don’t you stop being a little baby and let him look at that gunshot wound.”

Bucky’s face falls flat. He drops the ice pack to the coffee table with a thwunk.

You sit up, gingerly trying to maneuver yourself so as to not bother both your ribs and your shoulder. It takes a moment, but finally you’re sitting up with only a dull ache of pain throbbing beneath your skin. Now, the real sting comes from the bitter look Bucky has pinned you with.

“You haven’t cleaned it yet?”

“The shits in the kitchen,” Kiwi waves at Bucky, as if to say told you so, “She fuckin’ refused to let me take care of it.”

“You’re going to get an infection if it stays in you any longer,” he snaps, standing to his feet, “Get up.”

“Kiwi isn’t exactly the most gentle person I know,” you manage to supply as an excuse as you move through the room, “And I know that thing isn’t coming out without a fight.”

He can feel the grey hairs coming in already.

You stand slowly, and Bucky looms behind you as you weave into the small apartment’s kitchen.

It’s barely lived in, but a few years ago it most definitely had life. Now, it’s mostly abandoned save for a few necessities. Kiwi had told you, a long time ago, about this spot — it was her parent’s place before the Snap. After the Blip, they ended up moving back to Massachusetts. Now abandoned by anyone seeking to really live in the one bedroom, it sits collecting dust until Kiwi inevitably needs it.

Like now.

“Up on the counter.”

You wince at his tone, but still thankful to be away from Kiwi and Climber’s prying eyes.

For the entire time Bucky had been out, you’d been subjected to a myriad of questions — all were fair, really, since Bucky did just bust out the Avenger-level super-moves on some Russian mafiosos for your sake, vibranium arm and all. The arm was really the biggest stuck point in the conversation as you tried your best to explain the nature of your relationship with the unconscious supersoldier on the couch. It was met with plenty of looks, both curious and skeptical.

You’re slow to hop up on the dusty marble countertop. From there, you watch Bucky poke through the kit that Kiwi had pulled from under the sink.

Then, with the calculated process of a man who has pulled one too many bullets from himself, Bucky slams the kit shut and wanders into the bathroom.

He returns with a pair of large tweezers. He’s silent as the dead as he rummages for a pan, fills it with water, and sets the gas burner on. He stares, watching the pot boil, as his foot taps against the floor.

You swallow down any comments.

There’s a clean towel beside you, and Bucky casually reached into the boiling water with his vibranium hand to retrieve the tweezers — whether or not he purposely ignored the pain is lost on you. You’re too busy anxiously spiraling into silence.

(He’s trying to ground himself, to feel something other than panic. It’s a mild spike, but it’s still panic. Because you’re hurt. Because you still have a fucking casing lodged in your shoulder and he doesn’t want anything bad to happen to you. Ever. Because he saw it happen and then it was black, and now that anxiousness is creeping in.)

Rubbing alcohol, tweezers, gauze, tape, and… Jack Daniel’s.

It’s from the top of the fridge. It’s got a layer of dust on it — and it’s unopened.

Bucky unceremoniously pops the cap and hands the open bottle to you.

You take it and pause.

Bucky’s gaze is cold.

“You’re gonna want to take a few swigs, Doll.”

You almost snarl. You take a long drink then, ignoring the burn of the whiskey down your throat. It’s only when you’ve had enough to nearly gag that you hand the bottle back and then hiss:

“Don’t call me Doll.”

He takes the bottle and unceremoniously slams it down on the counter.

His movements are rough as he washes his hands — and if Bucky was a better person, maybe he’d take a second and parse through why he was feeling so damn irritable. But, no, no, he could figure out that he was angry at himself and you and Alexei Gardzov and Innessa Sidrova and fucking… everyone because he can’t have any normal relationships in his life without there being bloodshed or pain or suffering. That was enough, and he didn’t want to dig deeper into the nipping fear of losing you, not now, not when he had a job to do—

You suck in a sharp breath when his fingers brush your collarbone. He gently moves the delicate strap of your bodysuit, ignoring the soft skin beneath, and pulls the gauze away from your shoulder.

Your jacket had taken most of the impact it seems. Bucky frowns deeply at the pink fibers clinging to the entry wound. It’s a nasty puckered bit of flesh, smeared with blood, right in the soft muscle of your left shoulder. The hole is a little smaller than a quarter — Bucky recognizes it as shot from a 9mm almost immediately. He’s taken a few of these in his days. He’s glad it wasn’t close range. The burns from the muzzle flash make for nasty scars. He’d know. He has one on his back, right above his hip.

Bucky’s jaw is tight. He’s gritting his back teeth. His headache throbs angrily behind his eyes.

Bucky leans, eyeing the wound carefully. His limited reaction is enough to spark a little light of bravery in your gut, and you move to look at the hole — only to find a vibranium hand rooting your jaw in place. It’s gentle enough as it recorrects the line of your gaze straight ahead. His thumb rests on the curve of your chin as his index climbs your jaw, and the vibranium is warm and cold all at once. It’s an odd sensation. Not bad, but not flesh.

You like it.

(You find your mind quickly flashing with the thought of what that hand would feel like in other places. You ignore it.)

Your eyes are stuck on Bucky.

He’s clearly upset — the pinch between his brows and the evident scowl on his lips is enough of an indication. The bridge of his nose is busted and there’s a bruise crawling under his left eye. The shirt you’d given him is a wreck, and as he bends to snatch up a rubbing alcohol soaked pad, the feeling of shame creeps up on you. The anxiousness that’s settled in the pit of your stomach doesn’t help.

Arguably, it exacerbates the symptom.

The whiskey is slow to make an impact.

But, when Bucky finally swipes the gauze across the wound, your ankles have begun to tingle and it isn’t blinding white pain you feel — not yet. It’s sharp and it feels like he’s touching your shoulder blade when he presses his fingers into the holes to clean the immediate area. That has you grimacing tightly.

His obsidian-hued hand holds your face still through it.

So, you opt to stare.

His arm reminds you of some pottery you’d seen back at the Museum of Modern Art once, on a school trip. In a dimly lit room, spotlights lit up a row of vases that had been gilded back together with gold-dusted sap. You’d sat there for nearly an hour, staring at those things. You can’t remember the name now, not while Bucky does one more pass across the wound. It started with a ‘k’. It was beautiful. You loved that exhibit. Why can’t you — fuck — remember the name? Kinsi… kinsigumi? Gumi. Kintsi —

You grit your teeth and grip the counter tightly. He pauses. You exhale.

You inhale.

Kintsugi.

The seams of his arm remind you of Kintsugi.

It’s beautiful.

Bucky’s eyes flit to yours. He sees your stare.

Maybe it’s the pain, or the half-cocked daze, but the look in your eyes is enough to spur an immediate reaction. Bucky scowls. He yanks his hand back, retreating to the supplies on the counter. He’s pulled, hard and fast, and now he seems miles away.

Quietly, and with a bit more chill than he intended, he speaks. “If it was making you nervous, you should have said something.”

It.

Your head snaps to him.

“What?” you ask, nearly incredulously.

He’s silent. He has the tweezers in his hand now.

Your eyes narrow critically — and instead of shame and anxiety, it’s hurt that flies off your tongue. It’s drenched in enough pain that Bucky hears it in the waver of your voice.

“You think I’m afraid of you?”

It’s nearly a whisper.

He swallows.

He ignores it. He has to. He doesn’t want to know the answer. Either way that conversation goes is enough to drag him into territory he can’t handle right now. Not when he needs to do this without his hands shaking.

“This is going to hurt.”

Your mouth is open — be it shock or anger, he’s not sure. Bucky, however, makes a point of ignoring your expression and your reaction by handing over the whiskey once more. You snatch it from his hands quickly. There’s a look on your face that makes his chest ache. With one last pass over him with your eyes, you take a long swig.

You feel like crying.

You won’t, though. Not now. Not while he does this.

You deserve this.

And holy fucking hell does it hurt. It’s like someone’s taken a hot poker and punctured your skin, then rotated it around and around and around. You can feel every time the tweezers touch the bullet because the metallic little click echoes in your chest. It’s enough to make your head spin, and you grit your teeth and close your eyes and try to breathe — but even after a handful of minutes, when Bucky finally retrieves the slug, there’s no relief. Just a desperate throb.

Your hands are shaking when you reach for the whiskey once more.

You do cry, finally, when Bucky packs the hole.

He rolls the gauze up tightly into a cylinder and, as gently as he can, pushes it in.

It’s a horrible choke of pain that you smother into your palm and pant through. It reminds you to breathe, and while you stare up at the water damage on the kitchen ceiling, Bucky tapes a square piece of gauze over the bruised wound and wraps your shoulder tightly. He takes his time, but there’s a curtness to his actions.

Finally, when he begins to clean up the mess of bloodied gauze, you speak.

“If you’re mad at me, then just say it.”

He snaps almost immediately, like a kicked dog. “And say what, Rabbit? That I almost lost you?”

Your mouth slips shut.

Bucky pauses what he’s doing. He drops the gauze onto the towel and he bares both hands against the counter top. He leans and exhales and drops his own head back — then, you can see his own waves of anxiety knocking him against the shore of composure. His eyes move back and forth, he inhales, and then after a long while he speaks.

It’s calmer. Not so horribly mean.

“You should have told me about Alexei.”

You go to speak — but he stops you.

“I mean really, really told me,” he explains, “Had I known he wanted your fucking head mounted on a spike, I would have kept you far away from that place.”

“We had to—”

“No,” he says sternly, standing up full height, “No, we didn’t. We never have to do anything that’s going to put you in danger. Never. I won’t do it again. You should have fuckin’ told me.”

You’re quiet.

“A few more inches to the right,” he says, gesturing to your throat with his finger. His eyes are expressive and he’s speaking like he’s lived this experience, “You’d be dead. Cold and dead and I’d be here, carrying the fucking guilt around with me because I wouldn’t have been able to do anything.”

His voice splinters at the end — but he’s moved to throw away the gauze and dump the tweezers in the sink. He can’t look at you as he says it, and you know that. Because, just like before, people like you and him have a hard time looking the truth in the eyes.

You slide off the counter.

Your heart is sad. It’s heavy and mournful and weighed down with guilt.

“Bucky.”

It’s soft. He’s scrubbing your blood from his hands.

He doesn’t turn around. He can’t. He can feel the prick of an anxious breakdown beginning to climb into his eyes. Instead, he scrubs and scrubs and scrubs and your blood is stuck in the plating of his hand and it’s not going to come out—

Think of what could have happened if it had been a few inches to the right. The arched spray. Blood everywhere. She can’t speak through the gargle, she’s going cold, she’s gone. And, like always, you’re alone again, Bucky.

Then, your hands are on his.

The touch is enough to stop him. It’s enough for him to move aside at the large, inset kitchen sink. You exhale slowly as you run the water a little warmer and gingerly run his hands under the tap. Your hands are smaller than his, a bit more delicate, and he’s stunned into a sharp silence at the feeling of your fingertips gently washing away the crimson blood.

You grab another dish towel from a drawer beside the stove.

Then, in the dim light of the kitchen, you take both his hands and dry them.

It’s the vibranium hand that you pay special attention to, though. And Bucky feels like a fucking idiot — just standing there, just watching as you run the rag between the gilded plating and use gentle pressure to get into the harder to reach spots. You turn it over, and you dry his knuckles.

You take your time.

You don’t look up when you speak. You’re focused. Almost reverent.

He doesn’t deserve this.

“I’m not afraid of you,” you say sternly.

His mouth is dry. “Rabbit…”

Bucky shifts on his feet and takes a deep inhale. He feels lightheaded.

The whiskey, and the closeness of the two of you, makes your skin warm. His whole nervous system feels like it’s on fire.

“I didn’t mean to stare, I don’t ever mean to,” you apologize as your hands still over his arm. He watches your irises trace the plating above his wrist. The rag is forgotten, its purpose null. Your words are heavy, and Bucky can hear a little shake in them as you swallow, “I just… think it’s beautiful.”

You’re beautiful.

Even now, blood-soaked and sweat-stained. With makeup running down your cheeks and your composure in shambles. Even now, on the run and apparently wanted, you’re incredibly beautiful. Bucky hates how easy it is to admit and how hard it is to keep off his tongue. It nearly gets the better of him. He watches your eyelashes flutter. When you look up at him, the world is suddenly drowned in honey.

“I’m sorry.”

You mean it.

Your bottom lip wobbles.

Bucky, immediately, regrets being so goddamn cold.

You were just trying to help — you were just trying to do the right thing.

“Stop it. Come here.”

The hug is the first time you can remember touching him like this. You think you’ll always remember it, too. It’s sturdy and warm and gentle and honest and you bury your face into the shoulder as his arms come up around your neck. He’s careful of your own injured shoulder, and his fingers find the base of your neck. Around his waist, your fingers dig into the back of his shirt. Both of you ground yourselves in the other’s arms, and for the first time in a handful of hours, you both find peace.

Quiet, sturdy, lovely peace.

And the two of you stay like that for a while in the quiet little kitchen.

It’s not until Climber’s voice rises from the living room that you’re pulled away from Bucky — and even then, your face linger inches from one another for a moment too long. Neither of you say a word, only swallow down confessions that could have been, and move on.

“Oh, girlie, you’re gonna wanna see this.”

Bucky frowns. With your brows knotted tightly together, you weave through the kitchen and back into the living room.

Kiwi has sat up and both her and Climber have their eyes on the bulky flat screen on the dust-covered entertainment center. It’s cable news, and as Climber leans to turn the television up, a picture of you flashes across the screen.

It’s a photo from your arrest six months ago.

“Local authorities are asking that anyone with information on the whereabouts of this young woman call the FBI’s anonymous tip line—”

“Is there a reward?” Climber whispers almost excitedly, eyes on the screen.

“—Authorities are offering $100,000 dollars to the person who provides enough information to lead up to this dangerous fugitive’s capture.”

“Dangerous fugitive?” hisses Bucky.

“A hundred thousand dollars?” cries Kiwi, “Who the fuck did you piss off?”

You inhale deeply as you wave your hands. “The bigger question is who the fuck knew I was going to The Glass Cannon last night. Because they’re looking for me — not you.”

You point at Bucky and the gears are turning in your head.

The pacing is almost immediate, and Bucky crosses his arms tightly as you begin to walk back and forth behind the full length couch that Climber is currently spread out on.

It’s cut short, though, by Kiwi’s laptop chiming successfully.

“Well,” she stands quickly, “I have a feeling that someone knows you’re onto them. And the facial recognition software just got a match. A three point one, too.”

Your eyes brighten.

You’d given Kiwi the photo of the young Innessa, with all her decorated furs and blonde curls. She’s laughing and she’s young and she’s in love and it’s hard for you to imagine a woman like her to be dangerous. While you’d made sure Bucky was propped up comfortably on the couch and then finally calmed down from the adrenaline high enough to get comfortable yourself, Kiwi had dug out the hard-drive she kept on her at all times and began pulling data from the Alexandria Library files.

It had been a handful of hours, so it was clear that Innessa had hid herself well in the vast, expansive database SHIELD kept for all those years while it was in operation.

Bucky is quick to gather behind Kiwi, eyes scanning the screen.

Sure enough, when you come to look at the photos pulled up on Kiwi’s screen, there’s a hit. There’s an identification card photo of an older woman, maybe in her forties, pulled up alongside the photo Bucky had given you. Her hair is no longer blonde, but deep auburn color. She’s marked as having worked with Rumlow — a supervisor of some sort. Makes sense. You didn’t need to see a picture of Crossbones to remember Brock. Even when you’d interned, he’d been infamous.

And that was when he was one of the good guys.

There’s a handful of other photos of her — candids, professional photos, and even one where she is shaking Tony Stark’s hand.

And in all of them, you see your next door neighbor Bonnie McLayne.

“Fuck.”

Bucky blinks. Kiwi turns to look at you over her shoulder.

Again, you speak. Your eyes are wide. You can’t look away from the screen.

“Fuck, fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”

“Rabbit…?”

“Fuck.”

Bucky’s face narrows considerably, confusion melting to make room for realization.

His voice is quiet.

“Do you know her?”

“Oh my god,” you say loudly, shaking your head and blinking, “Oh my fucking god, that’s my neighbor.”

Bucky can feel his whole face go clammy.

“The neighbor who—”

“—Who I showed your fucking picture to,” you nearly shriek, “Like it was some cute little matchmaking game!”

Immediately both hands are over your face as you throw your head back. Now, the pacing has begun, and like you’re being carried on autopilot, you begin to move back and forth and back and forth and—

“You don’t think she’d hurt Poke, do you?”

“Rabbit.”

“Oh god, oh god—”

Oh.

Oh, you’re having a panic attack.

Oh, that was quick. Brutally fast. Nearly immediate.

After all, she knows where your family lives. She gets Holiday cards from mom to give to you. She’s been your closest friend for nearly six years. But she’s not Bonnie, she’s Innessa fucking Sidrova. She’s seen you with Bucky. She knows — she knows a lot and you don’t know anything and you’re miles from home, from Poke, from Mom, from Ana… Oh, god, the baby. The baby.

“The baby.”

Bucky’s voice is level. “Rabbit, you gotta calm down.”

“I have to call my mom.”

“No,” Kiwi snaps immediately, “They’re going to be watching for your cell phone pings. No calls, no texting, none of it. And god forbid this woman is one step ahead of the FBI—”

“Oh, god.”

You gasp like a fish out of water, paralyzing fear sending you to lean against the back of the couch.

You claw at your chest and try to remember what Dr. Hart said about these sorts of moments. Square breathing. In and hold and out and hold. Again and again.  

“Sit down,” Bucky says as he returns to your side, nearly sweeping you up long enough to plop you down into the armchair from before, “And do me a favor and breathe.”

The whiskey isn’t helping right now.

“I’m trying.”

Another gasped breath.

Climber and Kiwi watch.

Bucky shakes his head sternly, kneeling on one knee and snagging your hands. “Don’t try. Just do it. You can do it. Just follow my lead — you’re the sidekick, after all. Remember? C’mon. There’s the smile. Breathe.”

So you do.

In, hold. Out, hold. You draw a square with one hand on your jeans and hold onto Bucky’s with the other.

Again, in and hold. Out and hold.

And again.

And then, you just listen to Bucky’s breathing.

You’re not sure how long it takes — half an hour, ten minutes, who knows — but finally you’re able to calm the spiraling thoughts in your head. Finally, the loudness quiets down, you catch your breath, and the world isn’t falling apart. The bite of anxiety still remains in the hollow of your chest and Bucky can see that when you finally open your eyes and squeeze his hand.

There’s that look again between the two of you. The one from before, in the kitchen.

“Good?” he asks quietly, blue eyes swimming with some sort of emotion you can’t really pin down. Not now. Maybe, if you’d been a bit more collected, you would have seen it as infatuation. But, no. It’s just… nice.

You swallow and nod.

“Damn, girl,” says Climber from his spot on the couch, “Now I’m starting to get the whole therapy thing.”

“Thanks, dickhead.”

“That’s recent, isn’t it?” he asks, genuine worry crossing his face as he stands to gently pass a hand over your back, “I don’t remember it ever being this bad.”

Your face is sad. “I was just partying through it back then. Distraction was always the best method and then… When I had no more distractions and it was just me? Alone? And, psh, the accident with Jaimie? It got worse. So much worse.”

Climber’s eyes soften. “I’m sorry, bunny.”

You try to put on a brave face.

Bucky stands from in front of you and begins his own pacing. This one isn’t so much born out of anxious nature — but more of a tactical logic born out of keeping you safe.

This wasn’t exactly the turn he was expecting.

“You didn’t recognize her?” he asks after a moment, voice high and tight.

“I’m sorry,” you wave a hand, exasperated, “She doesn’t exactly look the same as she did in the 70s.”

Kiwi frowns at the screen. “Definitely botox.”

Bucky squints. He looks to you for an explanation.

You vaguely gesture to your face.

His brow lifts, he closes his eyes, and he sighs.

Kiwi is next to pipe up. “It explains why the feds are looking for you, especially if she saw you with the one man she knows is looking to hunt her down — so, I think it’s best the both of you lay low for a couple of days.”

“Not to mention,” Climber wags a finger, “Bucky the Babe over here did just piss off one the smaller Russian crime families in New York. So, there’s always that ontop of the evil Nazi-HYDRA-woman-next-door.”

You groan.

“Poke has enough food for a week,” Bucky says nearly reading your mind, “He’ll be fine.”

“So, what? We just wait here? Until something happens?”

“Sidrova is going to try and bait us out,” Bucky mutters, “She knows she can’t just disappear. She’s been settled for too long and we know too much. Engaging us in an altercation is how she’ll do it. Plus, I have a feeling she wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to shoot me in the knees after a few decades. So, we wait.”

“Few decades?” Kiwi whispers.

“How old are you?” Climber asks.

“Hundred and six.”

Both of them just blink at an unphased Bucky.

You sigh, finally standing on wobbly legs. “This feels like a bad idea. I’m just stating that for the record.”

“Better than her hunting the both of you down,” Kiwi supplies, “You can stay here. There’s cable, there’s booze, and there’s plenty of instant ramen to last you until winter.”

“Stale cereal, too.”

“Wait— where are you two going?” you ask, narrowing your eyes, “You’re leaving?”

“Keeping our hands clean,” Kiwi says, closing her laptop, “And letting you be the sidekick, bunny.”

The sadness in your heart grows a little heavier at those words, but there’s a little bit of pride in Kiwi’s tone. As she stands, she moves to wrap her arms around you in a gentle hug. Quietly, she murmurs into your hair.

“Your dad would be proud of you, y’know.”

Bucky watches.

Climber is next, and that hug is bigger, more brotherly, more like sunshine and less like autumn.

“Don’t be a stranger, Rabbit.”

“I’m sorry,” you blurt out as the two of them gather their belongings, “For dragging you both into this. But, thank you. You didn’t have to help me—”

“Yeah, we did,” Kiwi chirps as she knocks Bucky on the arm three times, “Keep her safe, aakarshak purush.”

The Hindi rolls off her tongue with ease.

Bucky laughs. “Bahut lamba.”

Kiwi pauses mid-step. She narrows her eyes. There’s a smile on her lips. “Your pronunciation isn’t bad.”

He shrugs plainly. “I get lunch almost everyday at the Indian place below my apartment, so. The owner has been teaching me some stuff on the side.”

An approving nod.

Kiwi hucks you the keys across the room.

She points at Bucky.

“I like him. Try not to fuck that up, eh?”

And then, the two of them are gone.

And it’s just you and Bucky in the empty apartment.

#vacant mirrors #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barns x you #bucky/reader #winter soldier x reader #mcu imagine #tfatws imagine #A LITTLE LATER THAN PROMISED BUT SHE IS HERE

[soong-type-notinuse]

quoiromantic bliss

the other day i accidentally fell down a quoiromantic history rabbit hole (i was looking for something on the lgbta wiki's page on quoiromanticism and one of the sources looked interesting) and honestly, i have never felt so seen. looking back now, it makes so much more sense why i felt the way i did about aromanticism, especially in combination with asexuality.

i never, ever considered that i could be anything but alloromantic until i made a joke on tiktok in the summer of 2020 about not knowing if i'm arospec or if i only had two crushes in my life and everyone around me was a bully and not worth wasting my feelings on. i wasn't serious at all, i had previously identified as heteroromantic, androromantic, panromantic, biromantic and even bisexual when i casually forgot i was asexual for a year. but never anything that wasn't alloromantic.

it got closer and closer to ace week 2020 and shortly before that i came back into my asexuality and realised that what i thought was sexual was sensual and identified as bi ace (as in biromantic bisensual asexual) for a very short while until everything came crumbling down and i thought about my two crushes again, trying to figure out if it was a "normal" amount of crushes for a then 21 year old. i ended up identifying as greyromantic and angled aroace for a hot second, and then i learned about alterousness and suddenly nothing made sense anymore. now how was i supposed to be able to know if what i feel for my partner was romantic or alterous? so i did what every annoying baby aro does and go bother some other aros: turns out, "romance" as a social construct is actually subjective as fuck, so i decided, since everything that i personally considered to be romantic played no role in my orientation, to use the labels aromantic and bialterous (and later greyalterous). i never met another person who defined their aromanticism that way. everyone had at least some idea of what romance is.

romance and romantic feelings were very confusing to me while i tried to figure myself out. it felt like an awfully long time but i'm pretty sure all of this happened within two weeks or so, as i hate questioning and want answers as fast as possible. but during "i'm confused by romantic feelings" i never once considered quoiromanticism. i did identify as quoisexual for a bit back in 2018, but the most common definitions were "unsure if sexual feelings for others" or "can't tell sexual feelings from others" and since my quoisexuality felt so different from what i was feeling when i questioned my romantic orientation, it felt like it did not fit.

i'm pretty sure the reason i struggled so much with it was because i'm autistic and romance seemed to be such an arbitrary social construct with random rules that also vary from person to person, especially considering that queerplatonicism and alterousness existed. i always felt like romantic orientation was much harder to figure out than sexual orientation because with sexuality at least, there are many things that are undeniably sexual, but with romance, it's subjective and makes no sense. (which is funny because i'm also the person who flipflopped between 5-6 different acespec labels since i was about 14.)

the existence of alterousness and the subjectivity of romance made me realise that i could literally just decide to not frame my relationship or past crush as romantic, to just opt out of romance. and i still didn't think of being quoiromantic because my quoisexual experience was defined by confusion but i was not confused by my romantic orientation anymore. i just decided that because things i consider to be romantic play no role in my life, to reframe myself and my relationships as aromantic and (grey)alterous.

so then i identified as aroace. or aro-ace: or aro ace? because that changed all the time too. "aroace" as one word implies some kind of connection between the two but my experiences with asexuality was very different than with aromanticism. "aro ace" and "aro-ace" kept not feeling right because The Norm™️ is to write it as one word. so i flipflopped between being "aro and ace" and being "aroace", "ay" or "arose".

and then earlier this year, i came across quoiromantic probably for the first time consciously. and one of the definitions was "finding romance inapplicable" and there it was, me! i've already been saying that i'm aro in the way that romance doesn't apply to me. hence none of the favourability terms made sense to me. nothing i do could ever be romantic, because romance doesn't apply to me, so i can't be favourable or indifferent or averse to romance. though i would probably averse to someone calling my relationship, feelings or actions romantic, because again, nothing i do or feel can be romantic. and, seeing a lot of non-sam aros and unit aros, i always thought that if i was non-sam or unit a, it would be ace and not aro.

i absorbed "quoiromantic" into the deltahoard and didn't think about it all that much until the other day when i read up on quoiromantic history and it was fucking brilliant. people who i guess could be called non-sam aces (or solum aces if you wanna be cool and use my term) talked about romance and romantic orientation being inapplicable, confusing, nonsensical. and that was utterly relatable. romance is still confusing to me but i chose to not deal with it by choosing to opt out of romance altogether. sometimes people will ask me if i'm in a "romantic relationship" and i'm thinking to myself "what even is that?" and i've read and heard about people opting out of romantic orientation (such as @queerascat, i miss their content). it was then when i realised that the way i used the term "aromantic" was never to describe a romantic orientation, but my lack thereof, my lack of romance as a whole. that's why my aromanticism always felt so different from my asexuality. because it was never really an orientation. i just found a more useful framework for my feelings and relationship and use that instead. a lot of quoiromantic aces/solum aces/aces without romantic orientation seem to be "fully" non-sam, whereas i have sensual and alterous orientations that are important enough for me to label. in fact, it feels like my alterous orientation is exactly where my romantic orientation "should be". i hope to meet more people like me.

#mogai #queer #aromantic #aro #arospec #aspec #aroace #quoiroace #quoispec #quoiro #quoirovague #quoiromantic #autiquoiromantic #autiquoiro #quoi #quoisexual #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtq+

[beomglocks]

nervous ; c.yj

summary : do i make you nervous?

pairing : bf!yeonjun x reader

warnings & other: suggestive?, just something in between requests, tiktok is mentioned, some language?, idk what this is but ive been seeing a lot of those tiktoks abt seducing men & here we are

w/c : 876

“hey yeonjun could you come here really quick?” you call to your boyfriend sweetly. you knew what you were doing adding a higher pitch to your voice.

ever since you saw that one tiktok about how to seduce men you quickly fell down the rabbit hole of the aptly named “#seducehim” tag. you just knew you had to try some of the techniques out on your boyfriend to see if men really were swooned as easy as they say.

yeonjun walks into the room with a clueless yet curious expression on his face. you almost felt bad for how flustered you might get him. he had no idea what was coming to him.

“uhm..” you bite your lip, looking around the room for an excuse to get close to him without making your intentions obvious. “yes baby?” he asks. damn it, might as well just go all in.

you get up from your spot on the couch, making sure to take your phone with you, and walk up to him casually. he watches you the entire time and you don’t stop until you’re a couple centimeters apart.

phase one was getting him close. “yeonjun..” you sigh. he hums in response, a little bit confused but curiousosity is his main emotion. you reach for his sleek black gucci belt and pull him enough to you that your chests are practically touching. you doesn’t question the action at all, thankfully.

you smile up at him innocently, trying your best to come off as oblivious as you can. he smiles back, simply happy to have you this close without him trying. “i just had a question,” you start. he nods once in acknowledgement, resting his hands on your waist.

“do i make you nervous?”

“do you make me nervous?” he repeats with a smile. he breathes out a laugh and you’re so close to him that you can feel it hit your face. his eyes flit back and forth between yours before answering with no.

now your chance! , you think to yourself. you place your free hand on his chest, close to where his heart would be located at. despite his response, his heart rate seemed to be increasing the longer your hand laid on his chest. thankfully, yeonjun chose to wear a thin tee shirt so you figured you had more of an effect.

“no? then why is your heart beating so fast?” you say. he raises his eyebrow at you and you feel his grip slightly tighten on your waist but what you don’t expect is a chuckle to tumble from his lips. “that was... corny,” he says. apparently not since i got you so worked up, you internally roll your eyes.

that didn’t work so now you decide to go with your plan b.

you let your phone slip from your hands and it falls on the floor near his foot. “whoops,” you casually say as if you could care less about the phone.

“i got it,” he removes his hands from you and almost swoops down to grab it for you but you stop him quickly. bless his heart for being such a gentleman but in this moment that would ruin your plans. “no don’t worry about it!” you assure.

you let him stand straight again before putting your second plan into action.

as slowly and seductively as you possibly can, you bend down nearly all the way to grab your phone. you grab onto his upper thigh to lean on him for “support” but really it’s just a ploy. you want to smirk as you feel his muscles tense. you can’t deny this for long choi yeonjun.

“got it,” you say looking up at him from your position. you see his lips being caught between his lips as he looks down at you.

you take your sweet time getting back up to stand straight. as you lean back up, you let your fingers lightly trace up along his body, finally stopping back up at his heart area.

you want to gasp at how fast his heart is beating, you genuinely think he might have a heart attack. you smirk at him though. “are you sure i don’t make you nervous baby? at this rate your heart might explode,” you ask with a laugh.

he grabs your wrist and moves your hand away from his chest. you watch him lean close to your face almost teasing to kiss you but he doesn’t do it. “you’re not slick at all,” he says lowly.

“im not doing anything,” you defend with a light chuckle. “if you wanted to get fucked you could’ve just said so,” he rolls his eyes.

he leads you to the bedroom slowly, pushing you backwards towards it. “after this i was gonna go back to chilling but getting dick isn’t too bad either.” you shrug.

“what was it this time?” he asks. “i wanted to see if i could seduce you, you’re too easy choi yeonjun,” you scold him playfully for giving in so quick.

“what did you expect it’s you, of course ill go down quickly,” he laughs, pecking your lips once.

“mm but let’s just go because now you got me all worked up,” he groans, pushing you quicker. “sorry?” you laugh.

#yeonjun imagines #yeonjun smut #yeonjun x reader #txt smut #txt imagines #txt scenarios #yeonjun scenarios #choi yeonjun smut #txt x reader #smut

[spideymarvelws]

reader’s old childhood nickname is bunny, so when Peter figures it out he can’t help but to refer her as that. and like....if you wanted to turn this into a smut—-😳—- it could be something along the lines of “bunny‘s like to bounce, right?” “Bounce for me” JSKSK excuse me as I do the walk of shame 😞

Taking fucking like rabbits to a whole different level lmfaoo

I really hope i did this justice

Main Masterlist

Warnings : SMUT! (dom!peter, sub!peter, face slapping, choking, oral [fem rec], innocence kink?, master kink [at the end tho and its like only mentioned once], excessive use of the word bunny)

Word Count : 1.5k

My Little Bunny

Dom!Peter Parker x Reader

“So...” Peter started, leaning against the counter opposite you in the kitchen, “Bunny, huh?”

“Oh god not you too,” you groaned, thankful that your back faced his as you took care of the dishes in the sink, making it easier to hide your flustered face, “Just a stupid nickname my family use to call me when i was younger,”

“Bunny,” he tested the name on his lips, “I like it,”

“Yeah,” you mumbled, shaking your head at the thoughts that started to form in your mind. You felt dirty at what you felt when the name rolled off his tongue, so innocently but sinful at the same time sending shivers up your spine and shocks in places it shouldn’t.

You were a fool to think that peter didn't notice the change in tone of the room.

“Want to watch a movie after this bunny? or straight to bed,” he bit his lip, watching as you squirmed slightly at the name once again. He loved the power he had over you, how submissive you got with a simple word or touch. He had to admit he abused the power quite a lot, but to see your eyes roll to the back of your head as he fucked you senseless, it was worth it.

“Stop calling me that,” you grumbled, taking one of the dishes from the sink and pulling it in the dish water.

“Calling you what Bunny?” He smirked, biting his lip as he watched you clench your thighs, “You loved the name when we were younger, what happened now?”

“I’m not a kid anymore Peter,” you snapped, letting out a shaky breath after putting the last set of dishes in the machine.

Peter chuckled darkly, leaning off the kitchen counter and walking towards you, pressing his chest against your back. His hands landed on either side of you, holding on to the counter.

Trapping you in his cage.

“So it’s fine when your family says it,” he said into your ear, teasing the skin with light kissed that he trailed down to your neck, “But when i try it out its a problem? Why’s that bunny?”

“Peter,” you grumbled, trying your best to sound authoritative but the small whimper you let out told him otherwise, “Quit it alright?”

“No, no I don’t think i will,” bitting at your skin, “I like it, and i think I’d go as far to say you like it too,”

You bit your lip, holding back a another small whimper that threatened to escape your mouth, “No I don’t,” you gritted your teeth, planning on just turning in his hold and pushing him away, ready to get in bed and forget the night ever happened. But your boyfriend had other ideas.

His left hand raised off the counted, finding its place around your throat, pulling your head back look look him in his dark brown eyes that were clouded with lust. You whined at his movements, your own hands gripping at his, but not making an effort to pull them away.

“Don’t like it huh?” He raised his eyebrows mockingly, “So if i just moved my hand up,” his finger gripped at the edge of your skirt, pulling it up as his hand travelled up your thighs, “And rubbed your little clit, you wouldn’t be dripping wet for me right?”

“I-,” you gulped, closing your eyes as you bit your lip. You’d never experienced peter like this, so dominating and confident compared to the sweet baby boy you grew to love. Sure, you both had sex before, and as your friends would say it was pretty vanilla since it was your first times together.

But you’d be a liar if you didn't like this new side of him.

“Not gonna say anything?” He chuckled, trailing his fingers up the inside of your thigh, hovering it over your clothed heat, “Guess ill just have to figure out myself then,”

He pressed the pads on his pointer and middle finger against your clit, moving in slow circles around the fabric. You softly gasped at the contact, your hand shooting to his hair, tangling your fingers with he brown locks while the other stayed still on his wrist.

“You’re soaking bunny,” he pushed your panties to the side, teasing your lips with the pads of his fingers.

“Peter,” you managed to get out, trying your best to hide the moans digging its way out of your throat.

“S’that all you gotta say bunny,” his finger slipped into your tight hole, making your breath hitch, “I’m sure you could do better than,” his tone dropped an octave, “I’ve been kind so far, giving you what you truly want. But if you want me to continue, you’re going to have to tell me bunny, i cant do everything for you now can I?”

You didn’t responded, you didn't want to give peter the satisfaction of knowing how weak you grew with the dumb nickname. But a sharp slap to your right cheek broke you out of your thought.

“I’m trying to be nice here bunny,” he murmured, taking his finger out and continuing to rub against your clit, “But if your going to be a fucking brat, i have no problem leaving you here until you’ve learnt your lesson,”

“I’m sorry peter,” you finally said, missing the feeling of his fingers deep in your pussy.

“Good girl,” he rasped, letting go of your throat and turning you around, lifting you up and moving to the side to sit you on the clear counter. You wrapped your legs around his waist, grinding on the obvious bludge in his sweats.

“Don’t be greedy now,” he wrapped his hand back around your throat, squeezing tightly, loving how your mouth opened slightly and your eyes become cloudy, “Now tell me. What. Do. You. Want?”

“I want you to touch me, please peter,” you begged, finally breaking, grabbing at his shirt, “Please, fuck,”

“I’m already touching you bunny,” he replied smugly, chuckling at your pleas, “Going to have to be more specific than that,”

“Your mouth, please!” You cried, “Fuck, please, Peter,”

“Anything for you bunny,” he mumbled, placing a sweet kiss on your forehead before moving down your body. On his trail down, he took off your top along with your bra, placing light feathery kissed on your buds briefly before moving down to your skirt.

He bunched up the material at your waist, revealing your cotton panties that had a visible wet spot making you look away in embarrassment.

“Well, you wont be needing this anymore bunny,” he mumbled kneeling on the hard floor before ripping off the panties and diving into your soak heat, giving a bold lick up the middle of your cunt. He bit and sucked at the sensitive skin, moaning at your sweet taste.

“Holy fuck! Peter!” yous screamed throwing your head back as you grabbed at his hair, tugging on his soft locks.

“Keep yours eyes on me bunny,” he mumbled into your pussy, sending vibrations up your body, “Look at who’s making you feel so good,” he wrapped his arms around your thigh, pulling you closer into his tongue.

Peter smirked into your heat, running his finger through your clit then into your tight cunt, moving slowly in and out. He latched his mouth on to your little bud, sucking and licking softly, listening to your noises, taking his time to make sure you were enjoying the pleasure he gave you. You whined at his slow movements, tugging harder at his hair causing him to let out a small laugh, looking up at your pathetic state.

“What’s wrong bunny,” he fake pouted, raising his head from your pussy but keeping his fingers moving, “I thought this is what you wanted?”

“Faster,” you mewled, “Please,”

“Hmm, Whatever my bunny wants,” he added one more finger before plunging into you, moving in at out at an impossibly fast past. His mouth lapped at your clit, slow and calculated, a clear difference to his fingers moving quick, hitting all the right places rapidly.

“Peter,” you moaned, trying your best to keep eye contact with him, but the pleasure was so intense, sending your head flying back.

“Go on bunny, cum for me, cum for your master,” the name fell out of his mouth so fluently, sending you over.

Your thighs shook around his shoulders as your hips jutted out at the shocks moving throughout your body. You’ve never had an orgasm so intense before with the combination of his teasing and calculated movements you knew it would be your last.

“Good bunny,”

Oh, and that stupid nickname.

You hummed, trying your best not to slouch back or forward, knowing that if you did you’ll most likely hit your head on the corner fo hard stone. Peter took note of this, trailing kisses up your body before brining your chest against his, allowing your to sag against his clothed shoulder.

“Oh we’re going to have so much fun bunny,” he growled, biting the top of your ear, “My little bunny,”

...

Permanent TagList : @jadegill @joyleenl @sarcastic-sunset-7

Peter Parker TagList : @ietss @itscaminow

#peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x fem!reader #dom!peter #dom!peter parker x sub!reader #peter parker smut

[hallowed-by-thy-name]

I know this has probably been done long ago, but I was feeling a periodic bout of Extreme Anger over the finale and I fell down a rabbit hole and am now in firm belief of the theory that Chuck won. Here's all the stuff I found as to why:

explicit 15x04/15x19/15x20 parallels with 15x04 literally canonically establishing why Chuck's intended ending was not a good ending, then the show ending in the exact same way. (meta post x and x)

unintentional?? parallel with Sam filling Dean's absence with his son/ John filling Mary's absence with his son (x)

Dean textually saying 'that's not who I am' in response to being called 'the ultimate killer' by Chuck, then dying as a killer.

an excellent meta post as to why Chuck winning makes sense when he's taken as an allegory to the network (not the writers!! there's a difference)

and in that context, the ending paralleling the 'planned' s5 ending with one brother dead and the other alive and suffering

alternate endings seen by Sam which are Chuck's (x)

Sam/Dean mirrors from 15 paralleling the Winchester in 15x20; bearing in mind that Chuck wrote the mirror characters like that on purpose and Lilith telling Sam and Dean and us as an audience that is was bad (x)

the entire theme?? of the show is found family??? Finale: O.O no really?? (x)

each of TFW getting an unhappy ending that is like specific to each character's worst insecurities (x)

Jack after becoming 'god' standing the exact, i mean the EXACT same way as Chuck (x) and like SERIOUS Jack/Chuck parallels (x)

After Cas' death (voluntary/his choice), the literal erasure of the impact he has had on all three remaining leads (involuntary/Chuck's doing 'cause he never liked Cas) (x), (x), this scene was cut whereafter we see no one mourn or acknowledge the 12 years Cas has been a part of the Winchesters' lives knowing that the last time Cas'd died Dean had gone off the fucking rails (x), (x)

Castiel literally meaning 'shield of god' and for so long being Cas (dropping the '-iel' which means 'of God' meaning that he rebelled/broke the narrative) only for Castiel to be carved on the table (the part that meant 'of God' is back) also (x) (it's a small thing but the symbolism is important here esp 'cause spn thrives off of subtext/mirrors/parallels/symbolic imagery etc)

miscellaneous literally-plot-doesn't-make-sense (x), (x), (x)

There's other stuff too, but mostly just like, you can't expect me to believe that Chuck wiped out everyone except these three dudes and didn't keep an eye on them for long enough for them to formulate a plan good enough to take him down?? And even the way they take him down- there was next to no build-up for the weird Jack-energy-suction-vacuum thing; the only build for that plot started literally IN that episode, which is conveniently after your only wildcard dies in a way he cannot return?? Huh. Funny how as soon as Cas- the only being not directly under the control of Chuck- dies, Sam, Dean and Jack suddenly manage to find what looks like a very deus ex machina solution that resolves the season long arc in a span of like 5 mins??

Also, one more thing that really bothered me was the sheer amount of plot-holes that came up after/because of 15x19/15x20 (either because established plotlines weren't followed up or new things with no explanation came up). Now, if TFW really did win, these don't really make sense at all; but if it was Chuck who won, it seems an awful lot like a writer just trying to wrap up a story/characters he's bored with. Chuck is done with these characters- they've given him so much shit trying to break out of the narrative. And now that Castiel is dead, he can predict if not control all the people left, so why not just rush through as fast as possible and be done with it?

“you know, i tried and i tried and i tried, but you're all just too stupid, too stubborn. too broken. you know what? i'm over it. i'm over you.” (15x17)

And I know that we all know that TPTB have done stuff externally to end up with the ending we did get, but the only way the ending makes sense (to me) IN CANON without any meta-context and what was going on outside of the canon universe is that Chuck really did win.

Also at least this way, it give more meaning to the ending as said (here) and literally is the only way i can think about the ending without spontaneously combusting.

#meta #spn meta #15x20 #supernatural #15x19 #spn finale #dean winchester #chuck won #castiel #spn #sam winchester #chuck shurley #jack kline #i did a thing #spn finale trashfire #also i Very Much like the idea simply because #it genuinely (on the surface) looks like sam and dean have won #but when you dig deeper you realise they're still stuck #still caught in the spiderweb #that is very sinister and vey interesting to me #don't get me wrong i really did want them to win #but i literally can't take in the last two episodes as canon #because if that was winning #then that's downright horrible #mine

[panicinart]

🔞Nsfw alphabet🔞

🍪 06 Billy Lenz 🍪

This was at the beginning just a giant ramble on my part but then I decided to just make it a nsfw alphabet since a lot of the things I already wrote fit under the category's. Because not all 100% fit in it I changed a few things on the templates I found and made more or less one of my own, i guess it's more detailed???

also i feel on one part really fucking awkward and uncomfortable because of the backstory he has :/ I just ignored it hope that's okay UwU

Idk, I hope you guys enjoy it !

Edit: I sadly can't add a under the cut thingy apparantly it's broken on mobile and I'm only on mobile for tumblr. Sorry :(

A = Aftercare (what are they like after sex?)

🍪The after glow makes him feel more vulnerable then the whole act itself, kinda like post nut clarity. Please be soft and gentle with him. Wait a few minutes until he gathered himself and ask if it's okay to touch him.

🍪If he assures you it's okay 👏HUG👏THIS👏MAN👏. A big and gentle bear hug, small kisses around the eyebrows, cheek and forehead, he will MELT in your arms like sweet honey.

🍪He will nuzzle his face into the crook of your neck a bit, you will also hear some soft muttering from him. Nothing that really makes sense, but it's clear that they are small declarations of love.

B = Body part (how is their body build? any favorite body part of them and their partner?)

🍪He has a bit of a belly, enough to squeeze but not enough to get a full hand. He also has a good a amount of muscle, especially on the arm and shoulder area.

🍪To be honest Billy doesn't really have any favorite body part of himself, since the day of his trauma he doesn't really concentrate on how his body is, how it feels, what he likes or doesn't like. But if His s/o has any favorite body part on him and they tell Billy what it is, it will make his day and watches out to keep it healthy and the way his partner likes it.

🍪Billy really likes his partners cheeks and eyes. Your cheeks color themself into a pretty pinkish red when embarrassed or flustered, and your eyes are a gateway to your many emotions, they also have such a pretty, warm and welcoming twinkling in them when you look at him.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum)

🍪More on the translucent type and heavy on the tongue. It is a normal amount and the taste a bit bitter. At first it has a strong taste but fades away quite quickly.

🍪It's also more watery and a bit sticky kinda like honey.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, do they have a dirty secret?)

🍪My guy has bit of a masochistic tendency, he ignores it and doesn't want to talk about it. You will finde out eventually how deep the rabbit hole goes.

🍪He also wishes to be more on the submissive side for Intimacy but his own mind doesn't allow it. The risk on geting a PTSD flashback and panic attack is to high, so it just stays as a fantasy.

E = Experience (do they know what they're doing?)

This is the part I ignore because I fell REALLY uncomfortable about it

F = Favorite position (which position(s) do the like the most?)

🍪He likes it too keep it traditional, plain old missionary style, but anything were he is on top and has full few of your body is good! It will just take some time until he is willing to try new positions.

G = Goofy (are they more serious or do the like to clown around?)

🍪Dead serious, no laughing no joking. If you joke around you can see his distaste on his face, he also makes an annoyed click noise with his tongue and roll his eyes.

🍪It's more because it makes him feel like you don't take it seriously, the way he shows himself for you the amount of trust he shows, it all makes him feel like you don't respect it or take it for granted.

🍪But that doesn't mean you can't laugh around if something awkwardly funny happens, like bumping heads or geting too tangled up. If Billy is in a good mood you might catch a smirk on his face.

H = Hair (any hair down there? How do they groom it?)

🍪The hair is relatively strong and straight, it isn't really long and well kept. It's the same color as the hair on the head.

🍪If it gets too out of hand he will trim it with a razor.

I = Intimacy (how are they during sex in a romantic aspect?)

🍪The hands wander a bit and massages any place Billy can reach (usually the arms and hips). He also always keeps eye contact, you don't need to do it back, but his intense stare will always be on you.

🍪Kisses, gentle touches, him nuzzling his nose into the crook of your neck happens quite frequently. He also might stop for a second to admire your beauty.

J = Jack off / Jill off (how do they masturbate and how often?)

🍪He goes straight to it, fast and relatively rough pumps he usually uses his hands but somehow he got his fry fingers on a simple fleshlight, he sometimes uses it.

🍪Will clean up IMMEDIATELY

🍪It's really rare Billy jack's off and often he just ignores the glimpse of horniness he has. So maeby once or twice a month max.

K = Kink (any kinks?)

🍪At the beginning my guy is very vanilla but Billy finds what he enjoys very quickly.

🍪One kink you both indulge is mutual masturbatetion. Sometimes he doesn't feel secure enough for sex so it's a good way to please the need of intimacy. Plus watching his partner touching themself and making a small show for him is really hot.

🍪You have 3 guesses what comes next. Yep it's voyeurism, he isn't that much into it like OG Billy but he still enjoys it nonetheless. Just walk around with barely any clothes and do your usual stuff, you will catch him starring at you from a corner with a heavy blush on his cheeks.

🍪He is also into cockwarming, Billy often keeps his dick inside his s/o for a while after he came. He loves how close it makes him feel towards you and the comforting warmth you give.

🍪Orgasm denial on himself, you don't even need to start it he probably already started it himself, but you can encourage Billy to hold it back longer.

🍪He also enjoys edging, he indulges in it more often then he likes to admit

For some reason I headcanon that he is also into sounding but it's a guilty pleasure of his

L = Location (were do they like to have sex?)

🍪Bed, it's nice warm and comfy. But with some time he also is willing to have sex on the couch.

M = Motivation (what turns them on/gets them going?)

🍪The jaw and back of the ear is a great place to give kisses and soft touches, it's calming and reassuring for him, but also a turn on.

🍪The inner thighs is also a place if you want to turn him on but good god the man has some self control.

🍪Billy absolutely melts when his partner cuddles up to him, he might stiffen up a bit but the cute expression you have and the way you snuggle up to him warms his cold crusty heart (and it also makes his body go brrrrr).

🍪If his partner, like mentioned before, walks around with bairly any clothes, phew, he will lighten up like a Christmas tree.

N= No (what's a turn off/they don't want to do?)

🍪Anything were the consent isn't clear or maeby questionable (consensual noncon).

🍪He also refuses to hurt his partner even if they ask for it, the only thing you might get is a soft slap on the inner thigh if you act bratty.

🍪Billy being submissive is a no too, he needs to be in control and therefore is always the dom.

O = Oral (do they like to give or receive? How is their skill? How do they react during receiving?)

🍪He is really good at oral! The tounge is quite thick and a bit longer then the norm so he reaches all the right places and it will take a really long time until his jaw aches.

🍪It's also a way he pleasures his partner if the needed inner security isn't there, he just goes down on you until you scream in pleasure and beg him to stop.

🍪Billy is a bit embarrassed if you suggest to him to go down, but accepts it after a while of thinking, and let me tell you, he is a MESS.

🍪He really tries to stay calm and stoic, but his heavy breathing and restlessness say otherwise. He also often chokes out a moan and gulps heavily.

🍪When he cums his head falls back and lets out a shameless moan, with a desperate attempt to keep face Billy claps a hand on his mouth to stifle out the moan.

P = Pace (how is their thrusting? Hard, fast, deep ect)

🍪Slow and more on the sensual side but it is clear as day that he is nervous and cramps up. His whole body is tense and in between he just freezes up. Give him time, the best is to mimic his pace.

🍪It's very nice and calming. He might be bad at showing affection but you can feel the passion and love he gives every touch and move. The thrust are slow and rhythmic but also hard and deep.

Q = Quickie (do they like Quickies, if yes how often?)

🍪He doesn't like it, sex is a way to express his love and passion for you it's never about lust, quickies don't give him the time to show you his affection.

R = Risk (any risk their willing to do?)

🍪He can be the bottom if asked, you both need clear instructions on what to do and what not. Safe words is also a must + a lot of Aftercare.

S = Stamina (how long can they go? How long do they last?)

🍪It's usually 2 rounds but they're loooong. Billy's self control is going strong and one round can last up to 30-45 min if you both want to take your precious time. If you both are going hard on the orgasm denial he can last up to a hour.

T = Toys (any toys they like? If yes, what toys do they like on themselves and on their partner?)

🍪He doesn't really have an opinion on them, they exist, he used / tryd out a few but he is kind of meh about it.

🍪The only toy he uses is a see-through simple fleshlight.

🍪Billy is also okay with his s/o using toys on themselves, he encourages it a bit since he's not always able to meet their needs.

🍪If you want him to use toys on you, you need to ask and explain what they do. He knows simple dildos and vibrators but if they don't look like traditional dicks he is lost and doesn't know what it is for / how to use it. (Billy is kinda iffy about bondage stuff and things that can hurt his partner).

Use a sounding rod, but sssshhh you don't have that info from me

U = Unfair (are they a tease? How do they react if teased?)

🍪Sometimes he is a smug bastard that likes to tease you and wait until his partner begs him to continue, especially if he goes down. But that's really it.

🍪If Billy is the one that is getting teased he can take that shit like a champ. But after a while his walls break and he becomes a blushy mess, depending with what you tease him he will look away shyly. But don't go overboard.

V = Volume (how loud are they? What sounds do they make?)

🍪 Billy rarely talks or makes any noise if not non, so you need to learn how to read his body language, it's okay if you don't succeed at the beginning, the man is hard to read.

🍪 The only noise you get from him are deep growly grunts, huff's if you're really good he will choke up a moan.

W = Wild card (random nsfw headcanon(s))

🍪Oof sex going to take a loooooonnnng time until he feels comfy with it. The trauma in his past is the main reason why he feels so conflicted with it.

🍪It probably will take MONTHS when not a year until he feels comfortable with it (and doesn't shove away his horniness) but when it happens it's very spontaneous. Nothing that he plans.

🍪When you both managed to get undress fully, foreplay is a must! Not only can you both learn what is the right place to touch and what not, it's also a good way to show him a positive side of sex and that it isn't just a game of lust.

🍪Also small note here it's normal that he dips out of sex, he could get a flashback or just doesn't feel comfortable with it anymore. If that happens, just give him space maeby a cup of hot chocolate and if he allows it some back rubs to calm down. Assure him it's okay and he doesn't need to pressure himself. You both probably need like 2 or 3 times until it goes to the meat of the things.

🍪Usually a top dom, if you both are together for a longer time he might goes bottom dom, but these moments are rare.

🍪The giving and receiving in general is mostly balanced but honestly only because he needs the reassurance of your love so baldy, if it wasn't for that, he would mostly do the work,(the control it gives him helps to fight against any nervousness and fear that there might be hiding).

🍪So if your a bit of a pillow princess / prince / heir to the throne you got the right partner!

X = X-ray (what's going on under those clothes?)

*cracks knuckles* 'aight, let's fucking go

🍪Billy is shorter then average not by much, but oh boy he is THICK. This makes him roughly about 5,2 inches in length and 6.5 girth when erect.

The avrage American dick is in length 6 inches and girth 5, as comparison

🍪He has two notable veins on the underside, their sensitive so give it a good lick, you will feel him shudder.

🍪His junk also hangs a bit, about a 50° degree angle, it varies a bit depends how aroused he is.

🍪And it is also yellow like the rest of Billy's body, just not that intense and on the tip, it has less of a yellow and more of a caucasian skin color.

Y = Yearning (how high is their libido?)

🍪 He isn't that interested in sex so it's pretty low. I headcanon him as demisexual.

🍪On is own he may have sex once a month or so.

Z = Zzz (how quickly do they fall asleep?)

🍪Billy's s/o will fall asleep faster then him, always. He uses this moment to play with his partners hair or give them a few kisses.

#slashers #slasher #slasher fandom #slasher community #billy lenz #black christmas #black christmas 2006 #slasher headcanons #my writing #ns//fw headcanon #ns//fw #gender neutral s/o #gender neutral reader

[fireheartfaery]

and i fell apart

I got very obsessed with maelin and went on a tumbles binge. While the content is INCREDIBLE there just wasn't enough so I'm adding to the pile with *gestures to whatever this is*. Please enjoy! Let's not pretend this was edited lmaooo

to Jana (@flamingveritas​): for the compliments and falling down the maelin rabbit hole with me

i highly recommend listening to rosier/punk2 by brakence while reading this. if i could i would have just copy pasted the song and made that the fic.

I left home now I'm fucked up

Realized how much I loved you

Whole goddamn life, been a suck-up

Now I'm just tryna get my luck up

All the pain went when you kissed me

—rosier/punk2, brakence

Manon has indulged, feverently and with vicious delight, in all manner of debauchery and sin over her many years. She has sipped the blood of men like fine whiskey, and kissed women like morning dew clinging to rosy petals. Most especially, she has never denied herself a pleasure.

Once her gold eyes lock on a target it's as good as hers, already weaving into her present and past. It is no longer a thing of the future to her. No because that would imply she still needed to get it, that it was not hers yet. It is something she simply refuses to accept.

Which is why, blood boiling, iron nails glinting viciously in the midday sun, she snarls at the blonde haired, blue eyed queen. The most beautiful being she has ever seen and by far the most infuriating. Manon has never wanted to lick someone's lips while simultaneously driving a dagger through their heart so godsdamn much in her life.

"Get your ass back here, Queen." She can barely keep the growl out of her voice. She feels half beast.

"Fuck you Witch," Aelin sneers, "You don't get to tell me what to do. Not anymore."

Manon is in front of her before the wind can catch in her snow white hair. With another grumble clawing through her throat, she plants her feet in front of the blonde. It takes everything in her not to melt at the fierce beauty she is met with. Gold spun hair, rivaling her own eyes, and sun smattered freckles and arched eyebrows. There's a look in the queen's eye that makes Manon want to pull them too close for decency and see how much of the pretty gold ring swallows that blue gaze.

"You owe me." She says instead. There is no gentleness in her voice. They have never been gentle with each other.

"I owe you nothing." Aelin spits. "I stopped having anything to do with you the day you left me."

"I didn't leave you." She explodes. She cannot go on like this. She can't bear it.

"Oh," The queen's voice takes on that high pitched tone, as if she's attempting to be snappy but her emotion is betraying her. She carries on despite it all. "Well, sorry for thinking that coming home to a note that says 'I'll be gone for a some time' and then not having a wife for ten years doesn't count to you."

There are tears running down that beautiful face and it makes every part of Manon wither away. She is made of iron but it takes one look at Aelin's crumpling composure to reduce her to rust and ruin.

"If I was gone for three hundred years I would still be your wife. No matter how long, or how far." Her voice is disturbed dust on a locked chest.

"Please leave." The queen shakes her head, stumbling backwards, away from her, from them. "I can't do this. I won't."

"I'm not going anywhere Aelin." Her voice cracks and she wants to curse herself for sounding so weak. But this is not a matter of blood and teeth and enemy. This is a matter of heart and she would always be weak when it came to the person who owned hers.

"That's what you said every day before you left for a decade." It is so quiet, so unbelievably quiet it feels almost as if the world hushed to hear that statement.

Her chest feels like it's been struck by lightning. She cannot imagine anything else would make her heart beat so fast while killing her so slowly.

"I didn't have a choice." She shakes her head. The words are coming out wrong. Will they ever be right?

"You had the choice to tell me."

At this her mouth curls into a snarl, gold eyes flashing with rage. "I would never have put your life in danger like that."

"We could have faced it together." Aelin bites her quivering lower lip. "Like we always have."

"I will never risk you, I will never put you in harms way if I can handle it myself."

"Maybe you could have handled it Manon," Her wife sighs, tears still rippling down her golden cheeks. They carve rivers over her freckles, making them stones on the riverbed. "Or maybe we could have done it together and it would have taken five years instead of ten. Or maybe you could have gone alone and I would have kissed you goodbye and said come back soon."

"That is—"

"Instead," The blonde interrupts, sadness, true grief, covering her face like a veil. "Instead I woke up to an empty bed one morning and it just never ended. Everyday I wondered if you had left because you no longer loved me, or if you had been dragged away, or if you went on a mission and had not survived it. Every day I thought of your white hair and your gold eyes and the smile you have when the wind dances across your skin and I didn't understand why I could no longer see it, see you."

Tears, hot and salty, stream down Manon's face. It is violent and full of agony. She isn't going to survive this. How could she?

"But I'm back now." She gutters.

"For how long?" The question is laced with exhaustion as if it had been asked to the point of meaningless.

How long will she be gone? How long can I live like this? How long should I wait before I try to find her? How long before I realize she doesn't want to be found? How long has she stopped loving me? She sees the questions reflected in those blue-jeweled eyes. It snaps the chords of her heart, like broken piano strings.

"Forever."

"That tells me nothing."

She doesn't know what to say, doesn't know how to make this right. She would do anything. She would suffer through hell if it meant making this okay again. If it meant standing by her wife's side once more, instead of loving her from so far away.

"Please Aelin," She breaks, cracks so hard her jaw snaps. "How do I make this better? How do I fix us?"

"I don't know," Blonde hair glitters in the sun as she shakes her head. It catches like a halo. "I don't know and it hurts so much and I can't—" She is hyperventilating.

Manon wants to go to her, wants to wrap her arms around the queen and hold her until they've both stitched themselves back together. But she knows she will be shoved away, so far and so fast she will not be able to recover.

"I love you Aelin." She says. Her voice is quiet but her words are clear as Terassen waters. "And I will love you through every season to come, and every sunset we witness while on the back of abraxos, and every morning I catch you with chocolate cake before breakfast, and every evening that you read a book to me, and every moment I find your lips perfectly slanted over mine. I will love you through this life."

They had never placed their love in the past. Manon had never said "I have loved you since", she always says, "I will love you through..."

"And I will love you through the next."

The sobs that wrack the queen's body make the witch's hands shake. She cannot believe she has hurt her love so much, so carelessly, so destructively.

"I don't need you to love me through the next. I needed you to love me through this one."

"I do!" She cries. "I do, I do, I do. How could I not?" There is distance between them that no bridge can cross, but she can reach out a hand and brush her fingers across a tear-streaked cheek. So close in body, so far in heart.

"I will not survive if you leave me again." Her queen sobs. Manon sobs with her.

"I cannot survive leaving you."

Hands, smaller than hers, infinitely more warm, find her own. "I love you through the darkness."

"Until it claims us." She finishes softly.

And ever so gently, intertwined only by their fingers, they begin to stitch together. The future is theirs, and it is the only guarantee.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

[image id: white all caps text, on a black background, that reads, “i thought you were dead”. end id]

#maelin #manon x aelin #aelin x manon #manon blackbeak #aelin ashryver whitethorn galathynius #fds fanfic

[little-diable]

Sister dearest - Dean Winchester (wincest smut)

Satan, I’m waiting for you. Enjoy my loves. xxx

Summary: demon Dean likes to tease his sister about her needs and desires, will she finally give into her darkest secret as Dean returns to his normal self?

Warnings: 18+, smut, sister!Reader x Dean, Wincest, demon Dean

(Y/n) struggled to spend time around demon Dean, just like Sam, even though both struggled for different reasons. Sammy wanted his brother back, wanted to free Dean from the demon that kept them on their toes, (y/n) on the other hand struggled to stick around, because with every passing minute her desire for her brother grew.

Those sinful needs had been haunting her for years, but she had always managed to keep them to herself, at least that’s what she thought. Demon Dean liked to chat, liked to tease her about her ungodly desire, he could see right through her and he was set on teasing her, till she’d break and give in.

“Don’t lie,” his tantalizing chuckle made her shudder, biting her tongue, stopping herself from giving into her brother's advances. “We both know how much you’re aching for me, you’d like to fuck me, wouldn’t you like to suck your brother’s cock? You dirty little slut.” The words should have made her cringe, should have made her instincts kick in, leaving Dean behind.

But they didn’t.

They only deepened the need she felt for him, arousal sticking to her thighs as she pressed them together, nails clawed into the fabric of the sofa, eyes carrying all the emotions that took over her body, lust, anger and hate. “Your heart is racing,” Dean stepped closer, knees pressed against hers, hand grasping her jawline, not giving her any room to move away from him.

Her eyes fluttered close, begging the spirits above that he’d magically disappear, leaving her and her needs behind, keeping her from doing something that would be oh so wrong, but would feel oh so right. 

“Look at me,” the deep voice dripped with lust, (y/e/c) eyes meeting his dark ones, eyebrows furrowed together, “Please.” (Y/n) wasn’t quite sure what she was begging for, wasn’t sure if she truly wanted him to stop, god, she lost all her focus in that moment.

Dean dipped his head down, lips ghosting over hers, goosebumps rose on her skin, whimpers spilling from her lips, trying to press them against his, but just as he was about to kiss her, Dean let go of her. “I’ll be waiting for you,” his chuckle ripped her out of her trance, instincts kicking in, staring at him with dilated pupils. He wouldn’t give in that easily, she’d need to come to him, would need to take matters into her own hands, it would only be a matter of time anyways.

She belonged to him.

(Y/n) would keep herself locked in her room, anything to avoid the handsome demon next door. “Fuck,” (y/n) panted, hand enclosed around the small, buzzing toy, biting her tongue, she wouldn’t moan his name, she wouldn’t moan his name, she wouldn’t - “Dean.” All worries seemed to leave her as she felt her orgasm fast approaching, crying out her brother's name, back arched, teeth biting her lip.

She was too focused on the heavenly feeling to hear the lock snapping open, Dean stepping into the room, clicking his tongue, making her freeze. “Moaning my name I see, fucking desperate little girl.” The demon stepped into her room, grasping her ankles, locking her in place. 

(Y/n) followed his every move with wide eyes, not letting go of his gaze, Dean tugged on the covers, exposing her dripping folds. A smirk pulled on his lips, settling between her thighs, taking the toy from her hands, turning it onto the highest setting.

“Don’t,” Dean snarled as she tried to move away from him, whimpering in protest, lips parted. The toy came in contact with her clit once again, pushing her right down the rabbit hole, “Good girl.” Her insides were burning, aching for her release, not truly processing what was going on, too focused on her approaching orgasm.

He - or the toy- had pushed her over the edge in a matter of a minute, legs trembling, hands fisting her covers, sweat pooled on her forehead. (Y/n) didn’t want him to stop, wanted him to to take all of her, finally, but just like the last time Dean rose from the bed, leaving the room with a smirk on his lips.

“Fuck,” her head fell back against the pillow, hand placed on her forehead, chest heavily rising and falling.

It had been days before the demon would finally set Dean's body free, letting (y/n)s and Sammy’s brother return to his body, returning to his old self. And as much as she was happy to have her brother back, she couldn’t help the small nagging feeling, missing the teasing, the touches. He was holding onto his beer,  eyes focused on (y/n) who was sitting on the kitchen island, “I thought that I’d forget everything that had happened the past few days.”

Her heartbeat picked up its speed, pounding against her ribcage, pulsing in her throat, “But I didn’t.” she visibly gulped, averting her eyes in shame. “I’m sorry,” the words spilled out of her, hopping down from the island, desperate to get some distance between them. But Dean was faster, fingers wrapped around her wrist, pulling her straight against his chest.

“Don’t apologize.”

His deep voice made her stumble over her breath, air knocked out of her lungs, Dean placed his bottle down, hands finding their way to her hips, fingertips dancing along the outlines of her shorts. (Y/n) didn’t move, didn’t find the strength to walk away from him, noses almost touching, how easy it would be to finally kiss him, to finally find out what he’d taste like.

Dean couldn’t remember a day, where he hadn’t thought about her, hadn’t thought about kissing his sister, pumping himself to the thought of her like there was no tomorrow. “Tell me to stop,” the words hung in the air, Dean hesitated for a moment, waiting for any words to leave her lips, but (y/n) didn’t dare move, lips meeting in a passionate kiss. 

They moved back against the kitchen island, the tabletop was burning into her back, leaving a few marks as they kept on fighting battles with their tongues. Dean picked her up and settled her down on the island, pushing her back against the cold material, untying her shorts, driven by his desire, the need to explore her body. 

“Dean,” (y/n) begged, hips raised, helping him with undressing her lower half, soaked through panties finding their way down to the floor. Dean stared at her like a starved man, lips kissing her folds, tongue licking its way through her wetness. “Fuck,” he moaned, “You taste amazing.” She cried out his name, hands finding his short hair.

“Don’t think I’ll be able to stop, if we go any further,” Dean mumbled, it seemed like he was struggling with an internal battle, trying to clear his mind, not finding the strength to let go of her, the woman he was aching for, the woman he called his sister. “Don’t stop, don’t you stop Dean,” (y/n) sobbed, hoisting herself up, hands fumbling with his belt, she didn’t care about any wrongs or rights, fuck, she needed him.

He should have asked for a condom, should have thought about any protection, but fuck he was needy for her. Dean snaked one arm around (y/n)s waist, pushing her closer to the edge of the island, tip parting her folds, putting pressure onto her entrance. Just as Dean was about to ask once again, if she was sure of it, (y/n) gave him a slight shove with the heel of her foot, length slipping into her heat.

“You’re so big,” (y/n)s head crashed against his shoulder, walls contracting around him, struggling to take all of his impressive length, Dean smirked, hand buried in her hair, urged on by her praises. “Fuck,” his eyes rolled back, front snapping against hers, member ripping her open, pounding in and out of her heat, completely wrecking her for any man that would even dare to try get close to her.

They were made for each other, no matter how fucked up the whole situation was.

Too many emotions took over her mind, love turning into confusion turning into lust, desperate for her brother, clit rubbing against his skin with every move of his, pulsing from the contact. Dean pulled her in for a kiss, bruising her lips with his, addicting taste heavy on his tongue, fuck, he had never felt that way around any other woman. He couldn’t stop the small, possessive “mine” from stumbling out of him, smirking as she cried out “yours”.

He felt her orgasm approaching, pace faltering, he didn’t want this to end just yet. (Y/n) grasped his upper arms, “You jerk.” She had been so close, just about to stumble over the edge. Dean moved his hands to her behind, length still buried inside of her, carrying her to his room, locking the door behind him. Darkness surrounded them, chests heavily rising and falling, eyes focused on each other.

Dean pushed her down onto his bed, slowly building up his pace once again, fingers cupping her boobs, obsessed with the way her soft skin felt underneath his. “Should have done this much sooner,” he panted, eyes watching himself disappear into her heat with every thrust, length coated with her arousal. “Dean, I’m close.” (Y/n) whimpered, she curled her toes, chasing her release, it wouldn’t take much longer.

One of the most powerful orgasms she ever had crashed upon her, taking over her instincts, mind going blank, groaning his name, walls gripping his member. “Shit,” he pulled himself out of her, hand wrapped around his shaft, releasing himself onto her boobs, skin glistening with the white substance.

She needed a few moments to come down from her high, panting against his skin, until the realization of what had just happened came upon her, cursing under her breath, weaving herself out of Deans arms. “Fuck” (y/n) groaned, collecting her clothes, avoiding Deans confused gaze, “what’s going on?” He rasped out, eyes following her around the room. “That was wrong Dean, we - fuck - we can’t do that,” she sobbed, hand covering her mouth, whimpering in protest as Dean grasped her and pulled her back onto the bed.

“Baby,” he mumbled, lips pressed against her forehead, holding her trembling form, “It’s okay, don’t worry.” He tried to focus himself on her, not thinking about his own worries, “I love you,” he breathed out, finally saying those three words out loud, at least in a whole different context. (Y/n) lifted her head off his naked chest, red eyes staring at him, “I love you too.” 

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[staytiny-present]

Ateez Presents: Alice in Wonderland

Rating: T

warnings: some blood and violence (nondescript), swear words, gets kinda angsty, mentions of anxiety

disclaimer: hi so first of all i just want to apologize about the wait,, i’ve been super crazy busy with school lately (and will continue to be but i’m trying not to think about that) so i’ve struggled to find time for both writing and my assignments BUT i’m nothing if not irresponsible so i’ve gladly taken more time to write this than write any of my other essays. also i am... so sorry this is??? so long i got so carried away,,, i hope y’all like long reads bc you are in for it with this one, but anyway! rules for disney au requests can be found here! enjoy and let me know what you think!! xo

Starring~

Kim Hongjoong as the White Rabbit

he was the reason you fell in the first place

you found it incredibly odd that such a cute boy in a waistcoat and glasses would have rabbit ears, and even stranger that he could fit inside a rabbit hole

you would have asked him about it, but he ran away before you could

and you tried to catch up to him to ask but he was just too fast

the rabbit hole he went down was too long and dark for you to see through, which is why you leaned down so far to see where he had gone

that’s when you fell

hongjoong knew it was his fault too,, he should never have gone to the surface or caught your attention

he really didn’t mean to

but he had to

hongjoong was an expert at going down rabbit holes, but for most everyone else there was a lot of falling

he already felt guilty, but hearing your screams and cries the long way down made his heart wrench

leaving yeosang alone at the door - who was yawning and questioning if hongjoong was right - he waited below as you fell

wincing each time you bumped into a cupboard or a bookshelf, bounced off of a bed, or were hit by a flying book

you knew bruises would bloom all over when you landed

if you landed it seemed

you felt sick as you fell and sicker as you dreaded what kind of landing you would face

your nonexistent breath left you once again when you finally did land

right on top of hongjoong - the boy you followed who was waiting to catch you

the force of your landing knocked hongjoong’s glasses off of his face as you both fell to the marble floor beneath you

you groaned and scrambled to get off of the boy, apologies leaving your mouth faster than you could comprehend

the entire time hongjoong looking at you in shock and awe

why,,, why in wonderland were you apologizing to him?

he made you fall

he’s the reason for your bruises

he was the reason you were stuck now

he did this

he was roused out of his thoughts when he heard yeosang quietly calling his name, and he turned around to see he was waving in your direction

realizing the sudden urgency he grabbed your hand and pulled you up off the floor

“don’t apologize alice i’ll be fine, but we need to go”

alice? “i’m not-“

you would have told him he didn’t have the right person because no you weren’t alice and you didn’t know one

but you noticed his glasses were missing

not missing but on the floor, a crack almost straight through one of the circle lenses

you bent down to pick them up and inspect

“i’m so sorry about your glasses sir”

you didn’t know if you should be calling him sir, but it sounded better than ‘rabbit boy’

hongjoong, who hadn’t noticed his glasses came off, touched his face

he was about to speak again when you?? lifted them back to his face??? and placed them gently on the bridge of his nose????

blood rushed to his face and lit it on fire, a stark contrast to his white hair and white ears

however you thought you had done something wrong and began apologizing again

he wanted to reassure you but yeosang’s quiet voice brought him back to the reality of things again

it startled you how abruptly hongjoong’s ears stood at attention, most of the color draining out of his face

“alice”

hongjoong took hold of your hand, and he would have turned red again had it not been for the urgency of the situation

“we have to leave this place”

your brain felt like mush as all of your thoughts swam past each other

i don’t even know what this place is, you thought, i’ve never seen such a strange place except in stories

and why does he keep calling me alice?

“what do you mean and why do you-”

a loud ringing cut you off before you could ask the curious boy anything, and hongjoong pulled a pocket watch out of his red coat

his eyes widened and his ears stood up straighter if that was possible

“oh dear, i’m late!”

he took your hand once again and led you to a door that couldn’t have been higher than your knee

hongjoong shoved a vial in your hand and on the label you saw that it read ‘drink me’

“it’s dangerous out there for you, alice, so please go with yeosang”

and you were confused because you couldn’t see anyone else around

it wasn’t until you looked down that you saw there was in fact another person with you, and he stood tall enough to fit through the small door next to you

if anything this only confused you more but hongjoong kept talking telling you to follow yeosang and to do what he tells you if you want to stay safe

but then he took hold of you by your shoulders and leaned in and said something so cryptically gentle

“all will be revealed soon. i promise”

your stomach erupted into butterflies at the strange boy in front of you

and honestly your mind was running a mile a minute trying to figure what was going on

and you can’t ask him because before you can even blink he’s hesitantly letting go of you and goddamnit he’s running again

there’s a normal-sized door on the other side of the room that he pulls out a key for, and the lock clicks once he’s gone

Kang Yeosang as the Dormouse

yeosang is tired

he never got his afternoon nap because hongjoong was so sure that this alice was the one

he was excited for the hatter’s party this afternoon and his eyes drooped at the thought of being able to relax with the boys

he doesn’t really want to do this but he trusts hongjoong

if he’s sure you were the right alice then he knew how important it was to keep you safe, and he was going to give his all to protect you

he’s waiting for you to drink from the vial but you... aren’t

because you are still. confused.

you have tons of questions that you want to ask like WHAT is going on and WHY are you so small and was that boy really a rabbit and what was his name and why did he give me this and

but yeosang is like what are you waiting for? you gotta drink it do what it says

and you still have questions because wHY DID HE SAY I WAS IN DANGER, but he also said to do whatever yeosang told you to stay safe

and none of this makes any sense to you, so who were you to not do what he says

so you drink from the vial 

it’s fucking nasty

at first it was great, but the after taste made your eyes water and your throat burn

you started coughing, and when you stopped you noticed that yeosang was a lot closer to you than he was before

in fact, he and the door were suddenly much bigger than they had been a moment ago

until it hit you that whatever was in the vial had shrunk you

you don’t have any time to question it because yeosang is pulling out a key like the one hongjoong had so he can open the door for you and

holy shit

what you see is beautiful in every way

the sky was a brilliant blue with clouds like pillows and warm sunlight

the pathway you found yourself on was made of rocks and cobblestones with vibrant grass surrounding it

there had to have been millions of different flowers and plant species that towered over you when they wouldn’t normally

the flowers were like trees and the trees were like mountains

it was incredible seeing it from such a small perspective, but it truly made all the difference

you thought about how this must have been yeosang’s norm, and you noticed that like hongjoong he had animal ears as well

the boy next to you had mouse ears, and they bounced with his hair as he walked

at yeosang’s level, you also noticed that he had a sword that would be about the size of a toothpick at your normal size

his coat was similar to hongjoong’s too, only his was blue instead of hongjoong’s red one

he was... elegant, and he walked with an air of grace surrounding him

you couldn’t help but think that at this level you could tell he was cute too and it involuntarily brought a small smile to your lips

you were so in awe by everything and completely distracted by him that you could hardly hear what yeosang was telling you

he snapped his fingers in front of your face to get you to focus

“please focus alice, i’m trying to keep you alive”

you finally ask WHO is alice but yeosang only shakes his head at you because wow you don’t even know

when in reality, why should you?

so yeosang repeats what he was saying

“always follow the path, alice. don’t eat anything anyone gives you. if you see red run, and if you see cards hide”

and you’re only left with more questions as you’re both walking because what the hell do you mean cards, and why did i drink what that rabbit boy gave me

and yeosang just kind of sighs and says “fine don’t eat anything else” but he doesn’t really elaborate on what he meant by cards

and he doesn’t get the chance to because there’s suddenly a rustling coming from the distance and heavy footsteps

they’re getting louder and faster as time does by and yeosang is like SHIT he already knows you’re here

and you ask him who he’s talking about but he doesn’t say anything,, he only grabs your hand and starts running into the forest of flower trees and tall grass

which is off the path, so yeosang is already breaking his own rule

but you’re sick of not knowing what’s going on, so you plant your feet into the dirt below you and demand your questions be answered

and yeosang knows you don’t know what’s after you, but he does

he knows how dangerous it is to stop for even a moment so he’s like wHAt come on we have to go!

but you finally ask “what’s going on? what’s after us?”

“bandersnatch”

his words were simple, but his voice and his gaze were dark and knowing

you don’t know what a bandersnatch is, but just the way he said it chilled you to your core

so you let him keep leading you through the forest of flowers

and as you’re running you can’t help but think... is the ground getting less firm?

you knew it was a weird thought, but you could have sworn it was getting harder to run let alone walk

like the earth was changing to slow you down, to stop you,,, like it wanted you to get caught

you almost completely disregarded the thought figuring you were going mad when yeosang nearly fell over, which is something you didn’t expect because he had been so light on his feet before

he stopped then and unsheathed his sword

there was a small part of you that thought he was going to kill you or hand you over to whatever was chasing you, but the bigger part knew he was going to stay behind

it wasn’t a comforting thought, especially because you didn’t know what was chasing you

yeosang turned toward you again

“go, and please listen to what I told you”

“no what? what are you-”

“alice please, find the path again, don’t talk to strangers, don’t eat anything, and please please don’t stop and smell the roses”

in any other circumstance, you would have thought he was joking with his phrasing

but then again you were currently running for your life

it was the ominous way he said it that made you want to listen to him

your moment of hesitation made yeosang practically push you in the opposite direction

“go! run!”

it was enough to knock you back to your senses, and you turned and ran through the garden forest

the ground didn’t get any better as you ran, and you found yourself stumbling almost every other step

the further you went the more the flowers around you seemed to get closer to you

you could have sworn they were whispering to each other as you went, but that was impossible

they loomed over you like they were trying to close in and trap you, just like the earth was doing

branches were in your way, stems closing in and thorns tearing into your clothes and your skin

like the flowers were reaching out to grab you

you could feel the blood pricking at your cuts, and your legs screamed at you to stop running

but you couldn’t,,, you would be caught

you ran and ran as best as you could until finally, finally, you were free from the flower forest

you found yourself in an actual forest this time, the woods and the trees blocking out almost any sunlight from illuminating the world around you

but there was just enough for you to see the dirt path before you

you were quick to get back on it, and now that you were you let yourself slow down to breathe

your limbs were heavy and you were so tired, and now you were more banged up than before

you shivered, and you didn’t know if it was because of the chilly air or your own fear

there was mist in the air as well, so you could only see so far ahead of you

you continued on the path slowly

as you walked though you heard a soft noise

you think you’re mistaken because it sounds like laughter so you ignore it at first

but then it becomes more pronounced, more distinct, and you know there is someone laughing

it’s not sinister though,, it honestly sounds kind of genuine

melodic even

you’re about to pass under a large tree branch when out of nowhere - quite literally - a boy appears as if part of the mist

Jeong Yunho as the Cheshire Cat

the first thing you notice about the boy is that he has cat ears and a cat tail

the second thing you notice - and maybe it’s just because of how small you are - is just how big he is

he takes up the entire branch he’s laying on and even hangs off of it a bit

the final thing you notice is the huge grin on his face, a big toothy smile

it doesn’t feel mischievous though,, in fact it’s even kind of infectious

without even meaning to, you start smiling as well

and somehow, it immediately makes you feel less tired

it seems like it makes the boy smile even brighter if that’s possible

he leans his head on his hand as his tail swings back and forth lazily off the branch

“huh, where might you be off to stranger?”

you’re well aware that yeosang told you quite specifically not to talk to strangers

you’re prepared to just keep walking, but you find yourself really wanting to stop and talk to this weird cat-boy

so you hesitate trying to think about what you should do

he simply smiles at you though

“cat got your tongue?”

and then he’s laughing at his own joke like it was the funniest thing he’s ever heard

and god his laughter is infectious too

when you finally gather your bearings you tell him you’re not supposed to be talking to strangers, that you need to keep following the path

“where to?”

you.... don’t have an answer

truly you don’t know, and yeosang never told you where to go

the crippling thought of being completely and utterly lost makes you stop again, “i... i don’t know”

yunho sees your mood change, the downcast and dejected look that ghosts over your face as you look down

and yunho just can’t have that

he thinks i gotta turn that frown upside down NOW

so he starts leaning forward off of the branch, and you’re worried because stop oh god you’re gonna fall!

but yunho just keeps going and keeps going and... keeps going

until he’s off of the branch, but he’s still floating above the ground

and you think this place just keeps getting weirder

yunho floats over to you so you finally get to see him up close

he really is huge, and you know it’s not just because you’re tiny

his eyes are giant and slit like a cat’s too, and they seem to change between yellow and green and blue

truth be told, he looks inviting with his fluffy sweater and his soft hair and his nice smile

the longer you’re together, you feel you can trust this boy

yunho speaks again, his voice softer than it was before

“don’t hesitate. people get lost when they doubt, so don’t. know you are going the right way, even if you don’t have any direction. then you’ll never be lost”

while it doesn’t make the most sense, it does make you feel better

you smile at him again softly and thank him genuinely

and yunho smiles even bigger because that’s exactly what he wanted - you to smile

“my name is yunho” he says before he decides he’s going to mess with you

so with a smirk, he disappears again into the mist

and it shocks you enough to have you turning every which way to see where tf he went, and you keep thinking goddamnit i’m alone again

but yunho reappears back on the same branch as before, only he’s hanging upside down from it

he almost reaches the ground because he’s so tall

but now that he’s back, you introduce yourself

yunho has kind of a lazy smile on his face and he’s like huh

because yunho’s not dumb, he’s everywhere so of course he’s heard whispers of a newcomer in wonderland

a new and promising alice

that rabbit hongjoong was practically hysterical about it when he passed in the wood hours ago, along with the constant “i’m late i’m late i’m late”

so yunho’s smile changes now to a bit more mischievous, and the switch is noticeable

there’s a glint in his big eyes and a twitch in his ears and an almost smirk that makes you feel the air has changed

the warmth is still there, that didn’t change, but now your chills are back, and you know they’re not from cold or a breeze or the mist

you’re about to bid him farewell when yunho continues

he knows a place where people could help you to not hesitate if you just keep following the path

ironically you’re still hesitant, only this time it’s because you really don’t want to be alone

but yunho quickly adds that he could be your guide along the path

and his kind and warm smile is back, gone any of the questionable mischief

in return it makes you feel warm again and all of the doubt washes away

you accept, and yunho’s cheshire grin grows until he's disappearing and reappearing right next to you

side by side he holds his hand out to urge your forward, and you begin again on the path - you walking and yunho hovering

it seems as though the huge cat boy gets smaller, like he was shrinking himself to your level

and you kind of appreciate it a lot because it feels more normal somehow despite how he’s literally floating

so you continue on the path through the woods talking amongst yourselves a bit

you explain to yunho how you got to this strange place and what’s happened so far

and yunho finds you have come across the rabbit and the mouse

so he’s like ahh you’re the one hongjoong was going on about but you’re like huh who’s that

and yunho tells you that the boy you fell on was hongjoong, the white rabbit who is an advisor at the palace

and you don’t really ask about the palace, but you’re still kinda reflective and repentant like “...i feel bad for falling on him. i broke his glasses”

yunho just wants to laugh because what a silly alice,,, with the way hongjoong was talking about you he’s not mad in the slightest

the entire time you’re walking together (more or less) you can’t help but think how nice this is because this is the first person since coming to this place that’s actually talking to you without a sense of urgency

it’s refreshing since both hongjoong and yeosang made it quite clear to you that you had to fear for your life if you wanted to live

yunho is just letting you live

you don’t get much out of yunho in terms of backstory or such

he does tell you a bit about how this place works, like how the food works and why yeosang was so adamant about you not eating anything

that little mouse always had a habit of making things sound like the end of the world

he also shares with you some little anecdotes from his life like when he stole hongjoong’s pocket watch one day and the boy nearly gave himself a heart attack

but finally, you reach the end of the wood and into a more open area of land

but unlike when you first entered the door with yeosang and saw color and vibrancy and beauty and something so wonderful

this was anything but, almost the complete opposite

the land was dirty and gray with hardly a flower growing out of it

gone were the brilliant blue sky and fluffy white clouds and comforting sunlight, now replaced with a completely overcast sky

as far as the eye could see, there was nothing particularly wonderful about any of it

you ask what happened, and for the first time since meeting him, you see yunho’s smile falter

he simply keeps moving ahead, saying you were almost there

you don’t talk anymore after that until you reach your destination

when you finally stop, you’ve reached a rather strange house with a bright windmill at the top

attached to the house is a tall hedge wall that disappears behind it, a wooden gate on either side

there was more grass here and there and some flowers, yet while it wasn’t a lot you couldn’t help but think that there were more flowers here than anywhere else in this land

it all looked... very out of place

yunho’s smile is back on his face as he watches you, opening the wooden gate for you both to enter behind the house

inside the walls was nothing at all like it was outside

you hadn’t heard it outside, but inside you can hear music that seemingly comes from nowhere

the back of the house was painted in stripes - pink and purple and blue and black and yellow with just about any bright color to match

looking closer the paint even looks wet still, like someone is constantly painting over it

the ground is cobblestone and grass, perhaps the greenest grass you’ve ever seen, even greener than when you first arrived with yeosang

in the center of the area is a loooong table with all sorts of chairs surrounding it

the table was littered with teacups and dishes and food and tea

in fact, there was tea everywhere

the delicious scent of the scones and the warmth of the tea makes your stomach growl and honestly, it catches everyone’s attention

because you’re not alone anymore,, sitting at the head of the table is a boy with a top hat and crazy eyes

on the left is another boy with rabbit ears, only his are brown and not nearly as well kept as hongjoong’s were

the color of his eyes reminds you of yunho’s but his pupils are so dilated and they’re so shifty

honestly, the boy himself is really twitchy

you’re surprised to see that on the right sitting on top of a stack of books is yeosang

his blue coat was gone, instead wearing a pink one with the buttons undone

the boys are all ecstatic to see yunho, all nearly shouting about how he’s just in time for the hatter’s unbirthday party

there’s a chorus of “ no way it’s MY unbirthday too!” that arises and it just serves to confuse you

but that mischievous smile is back on yunho’s face as he floats over to one of the seats

“yeah, i brought a guest”

Park Seonghwa as the Mad Hatter

at the head of the table, seonghwa’s crazy eyes widen a bit

they... they never get guests

and for his unbirthday party no less

he feels it calls for even more celebration

at the sight of you though yeosang is like “i thought i told you not to talk to strangers” and you’re like “WELL YOU KNOW HIM”

there’s really no winning with that boy geez

however, yeosang did tell seonghwa and mingi about hongjoong’s attempt at finding another alice

he expressed his suspicion, but he’s also starting to come around to the idea that you are the one

if you made it through the flowers and out of the woods, you’re doing better than most

and because of that, seonghwa comes ricocheting onto the table and walks across it to come meet you

he’s saying something like come and join our festivities, i’m sure it’s your unbirthday too alice

so he grabs your hand and leads drags you back across the table so you can sit next to him

you’re tired of being tiny

but walking on the table means there are dishes and cups and tea and food getting everywhere and breaking and lowkey you’re kinda afraid because that seems really dangerous

but hatter seonghwa does this all the time so he’s got it perfected

besides, he’ll have a ball cleaning it all up later and that’s not a joke

cleaning up after a tea party just means they can have another one soon!

so he sits you down next to him on the same side as the other rabbit boy and immediately starts dishing up some food and tea

but you’re kinda confused and ask umm what’s an unbirthday

you can practically hear a record scratch because all of them stop really abruptly to look at you and they’re like YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT AN UNBIRTHDAY IS??

seonghwa tries to explain it but he’s just so in shock that you don’t know he can’t practically word

he waves past you at the hare mingi to explain it instead because truly how could you not know what an unbirthday is?

so mingi explains it in his twitchy way, saying there’s only 1 birthday but 364 unbirthdays

he ends up getting extremely distracted by his spoon, his eyes getting impossibly bigger and pupils dilating even more than you thought they could

but you do understand now, and you happily tell them that it is in fact your unbirthday too

and suddenly they’re all clapping for you and digging back into their treats

the music starts up again at that too, and you’re almost sure it’s the teapots that are producing it

and you all have a nice unbirthday party for all of you :)

the hatter and the hare formally introduce themselves to you, park seonghwa and song mingi at your service

and they’re both shaking your hands at the same time but it makes you giggle

seonghwa with his red eyes and lovely smile says “welcome to wonderland”

he notices your torn clothes and it makes him pout a bit

he ends up taking off his scarf so you can wrap up in it if you’d like, since the scarf was big enough to be a blanket at your size

that alone made your heart skip a beat, but the sweet smile on his face warmed you even more than his scarf did

truly, this is the most welcome you’ve felt since getting here

seonghwa talks to you a lot and asks you questions, but it never feels overbearing

“what brings you here on this golden afternoon?” he asks

but he also asks you “why is a raven like a writing desk?”

he also tells a very sad story about a walrus, a carpenter, and some curious oysters

but he and the other boys are very polite and trying to get to know you

while you’re talking though you ask quite innocently “hatter why do they call you mad?”

the music gets quieter as he gets a faraway look in his eyes

it puts a bit of a damper on everyone, but before you can apologize he answers

“most everyone’s mad here, my dear” he says softly

“i was never good at cards, and the hand i’ve been dealt has been rather... much”

and you don’t know exactly what he means by that but he only stares off into space, reflective

seonghwa doesn’t like thinking about his past because it makes him sad, and he doesn’t like being sad

tea parties and unbirthdays are supposed to be happy occasions, but once he starts thinking about it it’s hard for him to stop

the other boys know this, so they explain to you what’s going on

he used to be a trusted advisor of the white queen, but then the red queen took over and never treated him the same

he was still an advisor for a while, but he could only take so much until he was finally dismissed for madness

“anyone who spends five minutes with that wicked man will surely end up going mad”

“i don’t know how hongjoong does it”

“all of us call him the queen of hearts because we’re sure he doesn’t have one”

this makes seonghwa laugh, and he starts returning to normal

you lean forward to try and grab his hand as best you can, and he appreciates the gesture

honestly, he thought you were the sweetest person he’d ever met, and he had only just met you

but he always liked to think he was an excellent judge of character

so the tea party continues on pleasantly

until

there’s some harsh knocking on seonghwa’s front door

and once again the nonexistent music stops completely, and it’s dead quiet except for the knocking

everyone knows exactly who it is except for you, but then again why should you?

seonghwa and mingi share a look with their identical yet completely different crazy eyes, but they look like they know exactly what they’re going to do

so seonghwa gets up and goes to his front door all while yeosang is fiddling with his sword, yunho is phasing in and out of thin air, and mingi is shaking and pulling on his ears

but you’re still sitting there with a half-drunk cup of tea and a cake that’s calling your name, but you know now’s not the time

after a while there are loud voices coming from inside seonghwa’s house, and that’s when suddenly things spring into action

yeosang stands from his stack of books and takes a cake from a dish that has the words ‘eat me’ painted in dainty cursive - just like the vial from earlier

you stare in awe as yeosang grows in height and stature until he’s around the same size as the other boys, no longer the size of a mouse

yunho disappears in a cloud of mist towards the house, and you can only assume he’s going to do something in there

mingi though is stuffing some of the food and treats and tea in a pack before, on shaky legs, he’s going toward you

damn he was huge too, but again that could just be because you’re still fucking tiny

he holds his hand out for you to take and before you can ask what’s going on, there is commotion going on inside of the house

you can hear extra voices besides seonghwa, one of them being yunho like you thought, and yeosang runs into the house with his sword drawn

mingi takes your hand then and half leads half drags you out of the hatter’s backyard

out of the colorful walls and beautiful scenery and back into the dark overcast of the world beyond you

Song Mingi as the March Hare

because mingi’s a rabbit too he’s so fucking fast so you can hardly keep up

and mingi knows this, so he hoists you up on his shoulder and starts running even faster than he had before

he knew you would only slow you guys down if you stayed on the ground, and you would have gotten caught for sure

but you still don’t know why you would’ve gotten caught, why you’re still running

so you ask mingi

you finally want your questions fucking answered

“what is going on? tell me the truth”

sweet mingi sees the fire in your eyes and the hears harshness of your voice and a few things come to mind

first, he knows your anger isn’t directed at him he’s just there, but it scares the shit out of him because holy fuck you’re scary when you’re angry

lowkey it’s also kinda attractive but you didn’t hear that from me

the second thing is that that fire is exactly what makes you alice

that fire is exactly what is going to save them

he continues running for a few minutes so he knows there’s enough distance between you and seonghwa’s house

when he starts to slow down you can tell that he’s not even tired, but he’s still going at a brisk pace

but when he does and because mingi is a sweetie, he tells you what the deal is

he tells you more about the red queen and how he’s not the true ruler of wonderland

his entire army is made up of playing cards, but only the heart cards - another reason he’s called the queen of hearts

mingi also tells you that the true ruler is the white queen, but his crown was stolen by the queen of hearts

there’s a prophecy that everyone in wonderland knows, telling of an outsider who will stumble into wonderland in their time of need and help them reclaim their kingdom

the hero, alice, would be the one to defeat the red queen and return the kingdom to its rightful ruler

and it’s their belief that that hero is you

mingi explains that every once in a while hongjoong will go up to your world to find a potential alice, but all of them have failed

he doesn’t tell you why none of them succeeded, and it makes you feel uneasy

but now, with you continuing to prove yourself and having survived this long, everyone is starting to believe that you are the one who will save them

and holy shit that’s a lot for you to take in

you literally came here by accident trying to ask a strange boy a question

you did not sign up for this, nor are you prepared to defeat a tyrant ruler

but mingi keeps talking because, you guessed it, the red queen knows you’re there

that’s why you have had to run so much, because if the red queen finds you, he’s gonna have you killed

and fuck if that ain’t more pressure

it’s lucky that the red queen doesn’t know what you look like or else you’d be dead by now

but then mingi just stops and looks at you on his shoulder and is like..... do you want to go back to your normal size?

and you’re kind of confused because it came out of nowhere

but also of course you want to get bigger, you’ve been tired of it for so long how do you get bigger?

mingi decides then that it wouldn’t hurt to slow down a bit more, so he picks you off of his shoulder and to the ground

and out of his pack he takes out one of the cakes he took, and it’s similar to the one yeosang ate to get bigger

the treat says ‘eat me’ on it too, and he hands it to you and tells you not to eat it all, only a bite

so you do, and unlike the disgusting vial from earlier the cake is almost sickeningly sweet

it felt like that single bite of cake rose in your stomach, and it continued rising until you were back to your original size

once you’re big again you can see that mingi is still tall, and you’re sure yunho is just as big too, maybe even bigger

you thank him because while being small was cool and all for a while and you could see all that cool stuff, you much prefer being your normal size

you give the cake back to mingi and your hands brush, and you take his eyes widening as you had done something wrong so you apologize

but in reality, mingi is malfunctioning and his ears are twitching and he’s shaking again and his eyes are shifty and he really wishes he could pull on his ears but also he doesn’t want to embarrass himself in front of you

so with shaking hands he puts the cake away and continues walking pretty fast-paced and tells you that you have to keep going

you ask him where as you adjust seonghwa’s scarf around your neck - since it was finally small enough to be a scarf - because really where could you be going?

“i’m taking you to the white queen”

and you freak out a little because oh shit i’m about to meet royalty there’s even more pressure

you keep on the dirt path until you come to a fork in the road, a wooden pole with numerous signs giving directions

the ones closer to the ground said things like “this way” “that way” and “yonder” and you wondered who could have put those there

the one on the top-right though had a large red heart painted on it

the one to the left of it had been broken off

mingi led you in the direction of the broken sign

“the white queen’s castle is this way, we just have to keep following the path”

you both continue talking a bit more, and mingi is kinda just telling you about what the white queen is like

but much like before, you are stopped by the sound of heavy footsteps in the distance

and mingi’s eyes widen again and his pupils are so small

and he’s like fUCK they found us already

so mingi grabs your hand and you start running again along the path

and you keep running until the guards are gaining pretty damn close

they’re close enough for you to see that yeah, those guards are cards except for the one in the front

you don’t stop running, but mingi has to shout to tell you that you have to keep following the path to get to the white queen’s castle and that you are going to have to do it alone

before you can ask or stop him, mingi is letting go of your hand and running off the path, shouting at the guards to catch their attention

and for the most part it works, you see most of the card guards veer off the path to follow the march hare when you glance behind you

but there is still one guard chasing you

the one in the front who wasn’t actually a card

so you’re running as fast as you can to escape this one guy while also trying to get to the white queen’s castle

you think you can see something off in the distance but you’re not too sure

and you can’t figure it out just yet because the guard, atop a beautiful black horse, catches up to you

Choi Jongho as the Captain

once he reaches you, he grabs your arm to lift you onto his horse, but you end up falling to the ground instead and get dragged oof

and because of this the boy gets off the horse and stands in front of you

the boy wasn’t necessarily super tall, but wow this kid is buff

while you now know why these guys are chasing you, you still end up asking rather fearfully fUCK who are you why do you keep chasing me please don’t kill me 

“silence, you are in the presence of choi jongho, captain of the red queen’s guard”

honestly? he’s kinda scary, and you’re worried he’s going to smite you right then and there

but that sweet boy is still human so he’s seeing you and how afraid you are of him and shit are these feelings?

but jongho is still the captain of the guard so he can’t just?? not do his job???

so he starts questioning you like “state your business, alice”

he shouldn’t be questioning you though, and he knows the queen would have his head if he knew he didn’t just take you in

literally, not figuratively

but he really just doesn’t want to do anything he’ll regret

but you’re there thinking fuck i know about the prophecy and it probably is me it’s talking about but i can’t let this captain kid know that

“i don’t know who this alice person is or why everyone keeps calling me that, but man i just want to go home :(”

now look, jongho knows you’re not telling the whole truth 

he and hongjoong know everyone in wonderland, and he’s never seen you before

but he knows your distress is real,,, he’s seen it many times before

you also seem quite genuine about wanting to get out of here and goddamnit jongho’s HEART is ACHING and he’s having a goddamn change of heart about his loyalties fuck fuck fuck

so jongho sheathes his sword which is a good sign, but you don’t feel brave enough to get up

and jongho, stoic as ever, is like yep you’re alice alright, but you say you’re here by accident?

“yes, i was following the rabbit”

“the rabbit? hongjoong?”

“YEs him!”

and jongho has a lot of respect for hongjoong,,, the guy’s the red queen’s advisor, the most trusted one along with jongho

yet hongjoong still fights for wonderland and wonderland only

jongho honestly looks up to hongjoong because of that

it’s not about loyalty to the ruler, it’s about loyalty to wonderland

which is why hongjoong is so adamant about finding the alice of the prophecy, so they can restore the kingdom of wonderland to what it is supposed to be

under the rule of the white queen

and because jongho respects hongjoong so much and since he’s so sure you are alice

he is willing to help you

jongho holds his hand out for you to help you up and you see tattooed on the back of it is a big red heart, and you can’t help but think it makes him look like he’s... branded

you’re hesitant to take his hand because just a moment ago you were afraid he was going to kill you

but jongho sees this so he says “relax i’m not going to kill you,, in fact, i’m gonna help you”

so you take his hand and he lifts you up and wow he’s strong but you ask him why you should believe him

and truth be told you shouldn’t because his armor alone is enough to tell you where his loyalties lie

but jongho says “look i’m willing to let you go if you really are the alice from the prophecy” and then he asks you if you are planning on defeating the queen of hearts

the fact that he was calling the queen that told you all you needed to know about his loyalties

while you’re not fond of the idea of defeating someone, you’re pretty resigned to your fate

so you tell him yes

and jongho tells you he’s going to let you go

you’re confused again though so you ask why are you letting me go are you not the queen’s captain?

and jongho’s like yeah ok i know i’m supposed to be loyal and i am loyal just not to the red queen

“i’m loyal to one thing and that’s wonderland”

jongho tells you that wonderland doesn’t stand a chance if the red queen continues to rule, that the people of wonderland deserve better and that better comes from the white queen

you see now where he stands and realize no he’s not bad and he’s not disloyal

he just has a strong moral compass, and you respect that

jongho tells you he would escort you to the white queen’s castle, but he still has to keep up appearances so he has to let you go on your own

because jongho knows damn well that if he “fails” or the red queen figures out his allegiance is changing, he dies

so he’s gonna ride back to catch up to his card guards while you keep following the path because you’re almost there

he probably tenderly places his hand on your shoulder and is like “stay outta trouble” or some shit honestly

but anyway jongho gets back on his horse to leave and you thank him

because from the bottom of your heart you really mean it, and you’re thankful for him for sparing your life and being so caring about wonderland

and jongho ends up blushing a bit because you’re just really sweet he hopes you win

he tells you “thank you for saving us” even though nothing has happened yet, but you’re there to save them now

so jongho leaves to find his card guards while you once again start along the path

and jongho was telling the truth, the white queen’s castle isn’t that far away so you get there pretty soon

and you’re still. so. tired.

you’re almost exhausted and your clothes are still torn and you’re still covered in cuts and bruises that scream the longer you move

so when you see the tall white walls and the gate to the white queen’s castle you nearly cry

when you’re through the gate - which, unlike the red queen, has tall white chess pieces on guard - you fall to the ground and finally let yourself relax because you finally feel safe

you finally made it

as you’re laying down with your eyes closed on the hard ground in front of the castle, you hear a nice voice above you

“welcome to my home, alice”

Choi San as the White Queen

holy shit it’s an angel

not an angel no, a god

those are your first thoughts when you open your eyes and see the ethereal man in front of you

clad in all white with a gentle glow around him, no one needed to tell you that this man was the white queen

he held his elegant hand out for you to take 

san doing princess hands hnNNG BYE

“my name is choi san, alice. i’ve been expecting you”

his words are warm and fluid, and you don’t feel nearly as tired

san too can’t help but think about how tired you must be from your journey, and his eyes are tinged with sadness as he realizes you’re hurt

he’s so warm and inviting and welcoming that your body moves on its own

you take his hand, and he gently helps you up before leading you inside the castle

the castle is regal with white marble pillars and a white tile floor that practically looks like glass

there are so many floor-to-ceiling windows that let in natural light and makes everything look so beautiful

san leads you to the kitchens and it too is almost completely white with larges windows and

...

what’s mingi doing here?

when mingi sees you though he’s like NICE YOU’RE STILL ALIVE lmao

he looks like he’s cooking but also it’s hard to tell because he keeps throwing stuff around

but san just glides over to one of the tables to work on his own project and beckons you to join him

you have to duck a couple of times because mingi is throwing something that looks like food but you can’t be too sure

you dip your finger into a bowl on the counter and tell mingi it needs more salt

but i digress

you go over to san while he’s working on something and watch him like :))) watcha doing?

and san simply smiles, thinking

you, alice, were here in front of him

you were to be their savior

and wow you were cute too

he keeps working and doesn’t really say anything, but you see he’s putting a lot of weird ingredients together to make some sort of concoction

and you know he’s gonna make you ingest this and you can’t help but think fuck these ingredients are gonna be so gross but also i’ve eaten a bunch of gross stuff today so what’s one more thing

so once it’s done san smiles and holds out a spoon for you

“this will heal your wounds, just blow on it because it’s hot”

and you’re like yeah sure thing and do it before drinking from the spoon

ironically, it’s one of the best tasting things you’ve had all day

which doesn’t sound right

but anyway

it starts working immediately, and you can feel your cuts and wounds close up and your bruises are soothed which tells you that they are going away

and you’re pleasantly surprised and thank him. “i feel so much better!”

and san’s beautiful fucking smile never leaves and he says of course alice it’s the least i can do

he tells you then that he’ll lead you somewhere in the castle for you to get fresh clothes since yours are ruined

you keep the hatter’s scarf with you even after you change because you find it quite comforting

but once all of that is through and you’re all rested, san takes you to the throne room

you see mingi and yeosang and seonghwa and yunho there too, and they all look so happy to see you

but once you’re there and standing before a humble white throne

san finally offers his proposal

“alice, there is a prophecy that tells of a hero who will come to our land to save us. they are meant to defeat the red queen and help us reclaim the throne so the rightful ruler can reign. i am certain that you are this hero. everything about you fits that of the prophecy. i have no right to ask this of you, alice, but will you fight for us? will you help us to take back our kingdom?”

hearing it out loud, being asked, suddenly makes this feel so real

you roughly already heard the prophecy from mingi, so at least you saw this coming

but you don’t feel like you can decline in front of all these people who are counting on you

more importantly, you don’t want to

you know you really are the only chance of these people getting their kingdom back, and from all you’ve seen and been through, you do care about wonderland

you know the people care about wonderland too, and whether you help them or not, they are going to fight

so why not help them?

so you accept

you say that you will help them to defeat the red queen, you just need to know what to do

before san can say anything else the throne room erupts into cheers and applause because finally, finally, they have a chance to have their kingdom back

san holds his hand out to quiet everyone down

he tells you that you will have to infiltrate the red queen’s palace somehow and find him - he explains to you what has to happen

all the while though you can’t help but think how in the world am i supposed to do this???

you express this concern to him once he’s finished and he’s quick to reassure you

“you won’t be alone, dear alice, i promise you”

and you want to ask but then you remember

hongjoong, the boy who found you and started all of this, is one of the queens advisors

jongho, the fiercely loyal and branded boy, should be right there with him

they will be there

yeosang offers to go too and help fight which is super sweet because man that boy is fearless for such a small mouse, even though he was the size of a normal person still

even the other boys look like they would volunteer in a heartbeat so you wouldn’t be alone

and you feel incredibly grateful for each of them

you find yourself in a room preparing for your imminent battle soon after everyone was dismissed from the throne room

san knocks on the door not long after

all the while you are sitting on the bed with anxiety eating at you as the reality sets in even further

you were about to battle someone without a clue what would happen in the end, and that was terrifying

but sweet san is there to encourage and reassure you that while it will be hard and you will be tested, you are strong and capable

you can do this

and he says something like what yunho said before

“if you doubt yourself, you’ll lose yourself”

he really does help you to calm down,,, his voice is so soothing and he himself is so nice and caring

so you say “thank you, your majesty”

but he shakes his head fondly and says “please, call me san”

but his smile falls for a moment as he looks intently into your eyes,, and it’s so different from how you’ve ever seen him so you’re slightly worried

“you don’t have to do this,, i won’t force you... if you wish to go home, you can. you have a choice”

the thought had crossed your mind multiple times

you did want to go home

but you wanted to help them more

you gently take san’s hand from his lap and squeeze it

“i’m going to do this. i promise”

he looks at you, and you think your eyes are playing tricks when you see his gloss over

you can’t dwell on it because he lifts your hand to give it a kiss, and that alone told you everything

when the time came you were hesitant to leave the white queen’s castle, and san was hesitant to let you leave as well

but you both knew you had to do this

so on horseback, looking back one last time past the gates at all of the people you’ve met and bonded with, you finally made your journey to the red queen’s palace

you were lucky not to have too many problems along the way, but sneaking in was...

scary

the palace was looming and red and black, and you could have sworn even the moat was blood red

you hoped to all things it wasn’t blood

you would have asked yeosang, but you lost him once he went back to his mouse size

all the while as you’re sneaking into the palace and stalking down the halls, you are taking his advice to heart about the color red and cards

but you couldn’t remember,,, did he say run if you see red and hide if you see cards? or did he say hide if you see red and run if you see cards?

you don’t have enough time to figure it out when you see the card guards coming right down the hall toward you

you make the fatal mistake of running

their uniform pounding footsteps flood your senses as they catch up in no time

a card guard takes hold of each of your arms and begin dragging you away

your fear spikes as they bring you all the way to red queen’s throne room

if san’s castle was light and comforting, the red queen’s is red and menacing

the windows are stained glass, not letting in nearly as much light

there’s a wide staircase leading up to a looming red and gold throne, and you think that it too looks like the color of blood

but when you look up, your blood runs cold

Jung Wooyoung as the Queen of Hearts

standing in front of his throne is the red queen himself, waiting for you

this is it, you think,, no... you know this is it

you’re caught infiltrating the queen of hearts’ palace,, he will have your head

your heart feels like it’s going to beat out of your chest 

you have to think fast

wooyoung has his hands on his hips, golden crown and black robe making him look absolutely regal in his red suit

to his left is the card captain jongho, his branded hand clutching his sword, and his eyes giving away more emotion than he means

to his right is the white rabbit hongjoong, his white waistcoat covered in red hearts, and his ears standing up at attention, eyes wide and skin drained looking as if he wasn’t even breathing

all eyes were on you

and despite the fear coursing through you, you don’t back down

you vaguely wonder where yeosang could be when suddenly, the queen makes the first move

wooyoung takes the few stairs down to you, and you can see up close that his handsome face is fuming red with anger

the card guards let go of you and back away so the queen’s wrath can be fully directed at you

“who are you and what are you doing sneaking around my castle?”

his voice is loud and carries throughout the entire room

you nearly flinch back but you force yourself not to

but... hang on

he asked who you were

does... does he not know that you are the alice?

from your peripheral vision, you can see hongjoong’s eyes widen to the size of dinner plates and jongho takes his hand away from his sword in surprise

but then you remembered

mingi said the queen didn’t know what you looked like so he didn’t know it was you, and you were determined to keep it that way

you force any shock from your face so you can appear as stoic as possible

“please forgive me, your majesty-”

“HOW DARE YOU SPEAK WHEN YOU WEREN’T ASKED TO”

he goes on about how disrespectful it is already to be snooping around another person’s home, but to talk out of turn like that is another level entirely

he ends up whipping around to hongjoong with murder in his eyes and a shout that rattles through you 

“OFF WITH THEIR HEAD”

you’re immediately filled with panic

you see hongjoong shaking looking like he wanted to step forward and say something, but he can’t without risking wooyoung finding out the truth about him

even jongho looks like he wants to intervene, but as the queen’s captain he can’t

you briefly think about where yeosang might be as you wrack your brain for what to do

little do you know he’s just about to come down there and fight the queen himself when you, in a split second, decide what to do

you take a chance

“i’m here for the queen’s unbirthday!” you say as the guards take your arms again, starting to pull you out of the throne room

the room goes silent then

you hope to all things that today of all days wasn’t the queen’s actual birthday

the change in wooyoung’s mood is immediate

the furrow in his brow is gone, raising instead as a large and open-mouthed smile forms on his face

the red in his face fades into what you could almost mistake as a faint blush

“ahhh my unbirthday how sweet how did you know?” he asks excitedly, and even rather bashfully

“i heard it was today, your majesty. there has been much talk about your party”

you’re chuckling kind of hesitantly to diffuse the tension in the room, and it kinda works because wooyoung is letting out quite loud but genuine laughs in return

“why of course you did! my parties are always the best!”

hongjoong behind him: FUCK I HAVE TO PLAN AN ENTIRE PARTY THAT WAS DUE LAST MONTH

lowkey though he’s really relieved about it though because, you know, it means wooyoung’s not gonna kill you yet

but before hongjoong can sneak out to plan a fucking party and invite almost all of wonderland, wooyoung is turning around to talk to him

“rabbit when will my spectacular party be taking place?”

and hongjoong legit wants to die, like he’s actually considering getting beheaded so he wouldn’t have to do this

but despite his nerves and the twitch in his ears and the fidget of his hands he answers “just after tea time your majesty” which should be an hour or two which gives him time to get the party set up outside and invite almost all of wonderland

and wooyoung simply claps his hands none the wiser because even though it was just brought up he believes his party has been planned since the beginning of time basically

he shoos the guards away from you because unhand them NOW they are an honored guest!

he also waves off hongjoong and the other advisors in the room to leave so they can fucking plan and dismisses most of the guards too

it’s only him, you, jongho, yeosang (secretly heheh), and a few card guards left in the throne room now

and somehow the room feels brighter, as if the amount of light and color in the room changes based on the queen’s mood (which you wouldn’t have been surprised about)

wooyoung steps forward to take your hand sheesh what’s up with everyone and wanting to hold your hand and apologizes for his guards’ incompetence (even though the guards are under him)

and so he gently orders (not asks) you to join him for tea time since you’ve come all this way

but then he’s like no, oh no no no we have got to get you into something more suitable

so he tells a guard to escort you to get some new clothes while jongho escorts the queen for tea

you’re in red robes now and it feels... like a brand

it’s comfortable and all and you look nice and feel elegant

but it feels like the heart on jongho’s hand and the hearts on hongjoong’s waistcoat

in a way, it feels like you’re trapped now

but anyway you join wooyoung for tea

and wooyoung is much happier seeing you in red and he tells you that there’s a dress code inside the castle walls and for his parties

red and black

no white

gold is reserved for the queen

and since you are like a guest in the castle, wooyoung acts like you’re his personal guest, like he invited you himself because he likes you

so along with the new outfit, wooyoung also gives you a bouquet of red roses

only... the red is painted on

you take notice of this and are like “... you paint the roses red?”

and wooyoung once again loses his temper and is like WHO’S BEEN PAINTING MY ROSES RED FIND THEM AT ONCE AND OFF WITH THEIR HEAD

and jesus you freak out kinda because of his booming voice and fragile temper like shit it’s SCARY

and jongho’s in the back like fuck fuck fuck

wooyoung lowkey notices your shock and fear and calms down because whoops,, don’t want to seem crazy in front of my cute guest

but he is crazy dude like very very fragile

anyway you dine and have tea and you have to sit next to wooyoung because he wants to be close to the cute guest

and you’re pretty antsy next to him you just try your best not to show it

he asks you a bunch of questions like what’s your name where are you from simple questions

but he also asks like what do you think of the color red, do you like playing cards, what do you think about large dangerous animals, kinda weirder questions like that

and honestly it’s a lot for you to process and keep up with but also wooyoung’s kinda talking more anyway

because the red queen is very talkative and loud and somewhat egocentric, but also he really is trying to keep the conversation going and get to know you as best he can

one of the other advisors ends up coming in and is like i’m here to collect this person’s present for you your majesty

and you’re sitting there like sHIT I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING

but then wooyoung just kinda waves them off rather annoyed because why are you bothering us? clearly this person is my present ;))))

which... is a problem for a few reasons

first off, you’re like whoa ok umm what have i gotten myself into with this guy

but also you’re like well he’s cute so it’s not the worst thing that could happen, which sucks because i’m supposed to dethrone this guy

but then everyone else in the room who knows the queen and knows what he’s like know that... he doesn’t do that

the red queen wooyoung loves presents and gifts and getting things from other people

never once has he said someone didn’t have to give him a present

jongho is standing in the corner watching this unfold and thinking oh no,,, he really likes them

but same though you’re fucking great

and you can sort of see jongho just looking sick to his stomach and you’re like,, what’s that about

but anyway tea time ends eventually and it’s time to fucking party

honestly for only 1-2 hours to plan everything get everything set up and invite everyone, hongjoong did a fantastic job

because he has experience lmao this isn’t the first time something like this has happened,, this ain’t his first rodeo

but yeah there’s a bunch of people already at the party and a bunch of people lined up outside the gates to get in still

wooyoung comes out with you on his arm and jongho trailing behind you

and you’re like shit this is weird and uncomfortable i look like i’m his date when in reality i have to defeat him

lmao awkward

yeosang acts like he wasn’t just sneaking around the castle and joins the party, along with the hatter, the hare, and the cat

they’re all dressed exceptionally nicer than when you saw them before, but they don’t look comfortable at all

gone are the mismatched suits, soft sweaters, and noble coats, replaced with uniform red and black suits

you almost don’t even recognize seonghwa without his top hat

they all look miserable until they see you

at first they’re like,, fuck dID THEY BETRAY US for a hot minute

but hongjoong, who has seen the whole thing, is quick to let them know that this is all part of some plan

hopefully

which it is, you’re just making it up as you go along

some of the party’s festivities include the giving of presents (of course), the eating of cake, croquet, etc.

really you can obviously tell that no one likes the red queen, but they’re forced to come or else it’s disloyalty you know?

you don’t stay by wooyoung’s side the entire time, nor does he make you even though he wants you to and thinks you should want to

but because of that you are able to talk to the other boys

yeosang is still small but he has a cake with his name on it when you say go

mingi’s nerves are on high alert because holy shit we’re doing this we might die but at least we’ll die for a good cause

yunho is there to reassure you all and help ease your nerves with his nice smiles and melodic laughter and just him in general

seonghwa with his crazy red eyes is uncharacteristically quiet

the only thing he says to anyone is

“the dove is out of its cage”

and you’re like what and the other boys are like what but hongjoong is like oH

jongho has been hovering as well and the boys are suspicious about him but hongjoong explains to them that they can trust him, that his allegiance is changing as well and he doesn’t agree with the queen’s politics

something you already knew hehe

anyway hongjoong asks seonghwa when the dove will be returning to its cage and he just says very soon and suddenly hongjoong’s nerves are through the roof

because the dove is the white queen

san is on his way to wooyoung’s castle right now

and no one else knows that until san is literally at the gates of the castle trying to get in

and it’s a lot more chaotic now because there are a bunch of card guards shuffling to the gates and jongho has to go too since he’s the captain

and so when jongho comes back he’s got san with him striding in quite elegantly dressed in all white, completely unarmed

and wooyoung’s head feels like it’s going to explode because goddAMNIT I BANISHED YOU YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED HERE AND IF YOU’RE GONNA COME AT LEAST FOLLOW THE DRESS CODE

but san is unbothered, simply smiling as if wooyoung wasn’t about to threaten to chop his head off

wooyoung flat out asks what the hell san is doing there

to which he replies with “i was invited”

and wooyoung is like ahaha no i make it extremely clear to my advisors never to invite you because you’re not allowed here

and san’s just like “huh... well then what’s this?” and pulls out an extravagant invitation, the same one everyone else got

wooyoung’s eyes widen in fury and he whips around to hongjoong because who else would it be i guess but he literally looks like he’s gonna murder hongjoong then and there

but before anything else can be said, san keeps going

“before you go around pointing fingers, woo, you should know that your time here is coming to an end”

wooyoung simply laughs, “hA you and what army? i don’t see any of your chess pieces around”

he snaps and all of the card guards are surrounding them, jongho included 

and he also brings you closer because yeah he really does like you and he can’t have himself be threatened or anything in front of you

he has to be powerful because he is powerful and he wants to show off

“you see, san, i never liked chess. i much prefer cards,, they’re much more reliable”

the guards are grabbing san by the arms ready to take him away to be executed and literally everyone’s like !!!! FUCK THE QUEEN OUR ONLY HOPE IS ABOUT TO DIE WHERE’S ALICE WHEN YOU NEED THEM

hongjoong is literally looking back and forth between you and san like ?!?!?!?!?! IF YOU’RE GONNA DO SOMETHING NOW IS THE TIME

but san is still smiling. he’s not afraid

“i didn’t mean me”

you think that if there was ever a cue to spring into action, that was it

you get a hand on wooyoung’s sword and pull it out, immediately pointing it at him

everyone is completely silent

for once, so is wooyoung

he says your name, the first time anyone in this wonderland has said your name

and for whatever reason, it makes you feel terrible

“you know the prophecy, wooyoung, and you know the laws of this land”

he can hardly hear san’s words, only focusing on you

you have his weapon, his vorpal sword

if anything, that’s yours now

but he doesn’t want to think about what san is implying

wooyoung turns around to san again and waves for his guards to stand down

he walks toward san until they’re inches apart staring into each other’s eyes

“fine. i’ll show you the crown is mine”

so the red queen’s unbirthday party turns into a challenge

the laws of wonderland state that if the ruler is ever challenged to a duel for the crown, they are obligated to accept so they can either prove they are worthy of the crown or that someone else is

the rules are a bit fuzzy since you are the one fighting wooyoung for san, but i guess it’s allowed since wooyoung probably didn’t win the challenge himself at the beginning of his reign

but i digress, literally almost all of wonderland is crowding around a circle for you and wooyoung to duke it out for the crown

he takes jongho’s sword since you took his

for a while, it’s wooyoung who is winning because you don’t have the most experience with a sword

but after a while, you get used to it and wooyoung’s fighting style (which is very inconsistent on purpose) that it becomes close

everyone is watching in awe because first it was like shit you aren’t doing too great that means wooyoung’s gonna win fuck time to pass away

BUT THEN WHEN YOU START DOING BETTER THEY’RE LIKE OH SHIT WE HAVE A CHANCE CMON KEEP GOING

and yeah for a while it’s really close until finally, FINALLY YOU DISARM WOOYOUNG AND KNOCK HIM TO THE GROUND

AND EVERYONE AGAIN IS ABSOLUTELY SILENT BECAUSE HOLY SHIT DID WE JUST WIN?

YES THEY FUCKING DID

sorry i just got really excited ok? you did it!

everyone unloyal to the red queen erupts in cheers and applause and utter happiness

but wooyoung, on the ground in front of you, has one last question

“who are you really?”

“i’m not sure. i’ve changed so much since this morning. but they’ve all been calling me alice”

wooyoung’s eyes widen in horror as he realizes his fate

this really is the prophecy

alice has come to defeat him and steal his throne and his crown

and they succeeded

he has lost

he expects you to just slice his throat right then and there, but you don’t

instead, you stick the sword into the grass beneath you

you never agreed to kill anybody, nor would san want you to

wooyoung saw it as a chance he would never get back, so he took it

he scrambled back a bit and whistled, a very loud and shrill sound that came out of his mouth

suddenly everyone around you is in chaos, trying to run away and shouting because they know what is coming

you don’t, but you find the sudden loud pounding footsteps oddly familiar

you look over to the other boys and make eye contact with yeosang, and you can’t hear him over all of the shouting but you can just make out the word coming from his lips 

“bandersnatch”

your stomach drops

that’s what you were running from when you first got to wonderland, and you were about to come face to face with it

the footsteps get louder and louder until they stop, and right in front of you stands wooyoung’s bandersnatch breathing heavily and awaiting his orders

even san is kind of scared because he’s seen what wooyoung’s “pet” can do

but when you see it... it almost looks like a pet

the best way you could think to describe it at the moment was a cross between a cat, a dog, and a bear

as inappropriate as it was, you thought it was kinda cute what the hell

but again, i digress

wooyoung, who is still on the ground, shouts at the bandersnatch and points to you, “GET ALICE”

the animal in front of you digs its foot into the ground multiple times like it’s about to charge

everyone watching the scene is filled with fear 

and you

just

walk up to it

and bop it

on the nose

almost immediately it cowers backwards and shrinks in on itself like it was ashamed it had done something wrong

everyone else: shocked pikachu face

because what??? the hell?? that WORKED????

but you just get even closer to the bandersnatch and see that he really is like a pet,,, he’s really not scary

you start to scratch him behind the ear and he definitely likes that

you turn again to face san and wooyoung just like :/ yeah, what about it?

wooyoung is at a complete loss of words, absolutely mortified 

damn, that usually works

but now wooyoung really lost and is really defeated officially

after the confusion passes though the crowd is once again cheering and happy because NOW they did it

san walks forward between you and wooyoung, and the celebration quiets down because omg it looks like the RIGHTFUL QUEEN is about to say something

san announces to everyone that wooyoung will stand trial for his crimes and receive a fair sentence despite everything, and that if anyone so pleases, they don’t have to see the same fate as him

meaning whoever would like can renounce their loyalty to wooyoung right now and not be punished

the first one to do so is jongho

he unsheathes the dagger at his hip, and while most everyone believes he’s about to attack san

you know better

rather, jongho holds it tight to his chest and takes a knee

he bows his head before the white queen and says “i serve the crown, your majesty. i serve the rightful ruler of wonderland”

hongjoong steps forward then too and bends the knee, since he is wooyoung’s advisor

everyone is watching in absolute awe because that is wooyoung’s left and right,,, they never expected those two to be disloyal to him

but they serve wonderland, not wooyoung

wooyoung is feeling mf betrayed dude

that’s the example most everyone else who was loyal to the red queen needs before they renounce themselves as well,, all so they can serve the white queen

and you are just... astonished

you did it

you really helped them to reclaim their throne and their land

you fulfilled the prophecy

you can go home

that realization hits you harder than you thought it would, and you are honestly kind of disappointed to go

at the arrival of his chess piece guards, san orders them and his new guards to take wooyoung away so he can stand trial

not before taking the crown from his head, and it practically transforms before your eyes to white gold

wooyoung gives you one last betrayed look before he’s gone from sight

while everyone is talking and celebrating and rejoicing san turns to see you looking very forlorn, and he knows exactly why

he approaches you, followed closely by the other boys

because all of the other boys have been so impacted by you that they just... have to be by you again and talk to you

but they all see that you are kinda down and are like :(((( why??? we won thanks to you!!! this is a happy moment!!!

but you just look at all of them, all of these boys that have impacted you just as much

and you say “i can go home now”

and suddenly they all remember

they all jump at the opportunity to tell you NO YOU DON’T YOU CAN STAY HERE WITH US AND BE HAPPY

but you can’t, as tempting as it is

you have a life in your world, and while you know you can just pick up and leave it

should you?

san sees the decision in your eyes and tells the boys “they can’t, though. they must go home”

and finally, finally, he says your name

not alice. you

the boys still want to protest, but they can see it in both of your eyes,, they know what’s going on

so they all come to terms with the fact that you are leaving

but before you do, you make sure to share some words with each of them individually

you know, just so they can fall in love with you even more hehehehe

you look at all of them and say “i want to thank all of you, from the bottom of my heart

“jongho, thank you for sparing my life,, i’m so proud of what you’ve become

“mingi, thank you for being so sweet and taking the time to tell me things, and for putting your own life in danger when you didn’t have to

“seonghwa, thank you for being the best mad person i’ve ever met, and i hope you don’t stop being the same kind, pleasant, mannerful, strange, and mad person you showed me

“yunho, thank you for always being able to put a smile on my face,, you truly helped me to not feel doubtful, and i know i will never be lost because of you

“yeosang, thank you for doing everything in your power to make sure i’m safe,,, you are the bravest person and mouse i have ever met, no one will ever come as close

“hongjoong, thank you for finding me. if it wasn’t for you i would have never found this wonderful place with all you wonderful people,, i am happy you are safe and turned out to be right” 

the boys are all borderline crying now because you’re just so amazing,, they all love you so much, even in the short time you’ve known them

but finally, you turn back to san

you’re prepared to bow, getting on one knee and saying “my queen” because that is truly how you see him now

but san simply smiles and tells you to stand, that as long as you are here and san is ruling, you never have to bow to anyone or fear anyone

and you just smile back and say thank you

san laughs because he should be the one thanking you

he leads you and the boys inside the palace so you can go home

which makes you kind of confused because huh how does that work

san explains “wooyoung was always afraid of the prophecy, so he made sure the only door to your world was locked and sealed away for no one to find”

so he leads you all to said door, and it’s huge

there are gold gears and locks all over it, and it stands taller than anyone of you

san takes his crown off and places it in the center of the door, as if it acted as a key

and the gears begin to turn and bars unlock until finally, the door opens 

looking through it, it’s a bit distorted because it’s kinda like a portal that’ll take you back to your world

and san extends his hand toward the door so you can go, and everyone is looking at you teary-eyed and expectant

you take one last long look at each of them to memorize everything that has happened

and so, looking back with a look that screamed the promise of return, you walk through

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