#i also had a weird obsessive thing when i was in sixth grade where i just talked to this boy nonstop online for like two days i guess | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kayliemusing · 1 year

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Describe your dream house - I want something that's very rustic, bright and classy. Maybe a French-Country kind of thing with a splash of boho. I've always pictured myself having a house that looked kind of ranch style on the exterior. Inside, lots of beiges, creams, tans, white brick, etc. Some wicker furniture pieces and light fixtures. Big kitchen with an island and also white cabinets that have little windows on them, open concept, big windows so everything is bright when the sun comes in. Barn doors for the pantry. Light coloured vinyl or hardwood floors. Big wooden beams on the ceilings. I also want a big back yard so I can have a fire pit and a patio. My idea of my "dream house" is very specific, and I have an overwhelming amount of inspiration pictures on my Pinterest lmao. - On another note, if I'm allowed to go crazy... say if I won the lottery and was allowed to have outrageous things in my house I'd want a spiral staircase, a bookcase that's secretly a door that leads to a beautiful reading nook or little library. I'd also want a Koi pond built into the floor. I love Koi ponds and I've always thought if I got really rich and I was going to do something weird and outrageous, that's what would happen.

What's your top 5 songs at the moment and why? - Maroon by Taylor Swift because Taylor put something in that song that I cannot explain. The chorus and bridge make me feral. - Anti Hero by Taylor Swift. a) Relatable. b) a good beat. c) I'm a monster on the hill - About You by The 1975 specifically for that one verse. Also it feels dreamy. - All Too Well (10 Min Version) by Taylor Swift for obvious reasons. Also this is my all-time favourite song to exist in the universe. It'll always be on the list. - Another Love by Tom Odell for that bridge (I also didn't want to write Taylor Swift again because it makes me feel annoying)

What's your favourite memory from school? - Any memory during Halloween or Christmas time when we got to colour pictures and do crafts :')

Whats your least favourite memory from school? - There's a lot tbh. Probably when my math teacher accused me of cheating on a test in the sixth grade in front of the whole class. It was so embarrassing and untrue. (The reason behind it was that I was new to middle school and put the test in my locker because I didn't finish it, thinking 'oh I'll finish at school tomorrow' instead of handing it to the teacher. Obviously not well thought out, but he was way too extra about it lmao)

Whats your relationship with your parents like? - Strong and healthy

Describe one of your favourite people - One of my favourite people is a friend of mine. I met her at work a couple years ago. She's very personable and friendly. When we first met, she was new at work, and she crossed the whole store the second she saw me and introduced herself which I thought was just so friendly. We have very long coffee dates and she shops at thrift stores but somehow finds the best and cutest clothes.

Talk about your favourite tv show as a kid - OMG. I think my all-time fav show as a kid was Little Bear. Obviously it was about a bear who was little and he had all these little animal friends, and they'd do fun things and go on small adventures, mostly in their imaginations I think. I loved that show so much and some of my fondest memories of being a kid was when I was watching Little Bear.

Talk about a band you loved as a teenager - The 1975!! I went through this phase in the tenth/eleventh grade where I was obsessed with them!! It faded a bit and now I still listen to their music, but not as avidly as I did then. I remember I loved them so much I would write stories based off of their songs lol

Talk about your favourite historical period - I'm always really inspired by the Victorian Era. I think I just find it very fascinating and it reminds me of the fantasy genre a little bit lol. The furniture was so detailed and unique, and I just love the history that's there. Obviously, I know it wasn't sunshine and roses to live back then, but I've always loved it for some reason.

Share a recipe you love - Chicken Tortilla Soup is my favourite!! (Doesn't really matter which one - they're all the same on google)

How many children do you want and why? - About 2-3. I don't really have a good reason why. I can see myself with that many.

What's your favourite season and why? - Autumn <3 I love autumn because I feel like that's when the year comes alive, ironically. That's when my favourite fall drinks come out, favourite clothes (like the sweaters), the trees are so pretty, corn mazes, pumpkins, apple crisp and apple pie and other baked goods, the weather is generally really nice; crisp mornings but warm afternoons. I also love that Halloween and Christmas are coming up because those two are my favourite holidays. Taylor Swift albums usually come out in the fall and it's also Red Album season. On a more real note, I also just start to feel a little bit better. I find summer makes me a little nostalgic and sad, so when fall rolls around, my spirits lift.

Write a review for the last book you read - AMAZING. 10/10!!!! PLEASE READ!!!! I read The Stolen Heir by Holly Black and I loved it! I saw some people give solid critiques to a few things, but I disagreed a bit. I thought the main character, Suren, captured my attention right away and I fell in love with her. I feel like I might need a little more time with Oak to fall in love with him, but Holly made me fall in love with Suren within two pages which I think is such a testament to who she is as a writer. It was also such an incredible journey throughout the book, and the ENDING. I can't wait for The Prisoner's Throne <3

Write a review for the last film you watched? - Amazing. I love Wreck It Ralph.

Write a letter to someone your no longer in contact with - N/A

Talk about your favourite conspiracy theory - I don't really believe in conspiracy theories, but I remember when the theory that Ted Cruz was the zodiac killer went around lol

Whats your favourite city and why? - I have no evidence for this but Montreal, because it looks pretty. I haven't been there, but I saw pictures. (Honourable mentions: Edinburgh, which I also saw pictures of and would like to visit someday.)

Describe an essay/story you wrote in school - I remember writing an essay in grade ten where I just trauma dumped on my teacher. Got an A though.

Whats some life advice everyone should know - This isn't really life "advice" but just a general tip which is that everyone should stop engaging in hustle culture because it's a disease.

If you got $500,000 what would you buy - A car, another cat, and maybe an apartment.

#survey

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astaroth1357 · 4 years

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An MC Who Treats The Brothers Like a Kindergarten Teacher

Okay, so I know I still have requests. I will get back to them right after this, but I just saw a post that gave me this idea and I had had had to get it out!! Requests will be back after this! Thank you MRS. Green Apple (my favorite band ever) and their song Present for this fun little romp of mine. 🤭

Lucifer

He is so conflicted on this it makes him wish he drank more…

On the one hand, he HATES how patronizing they can be… but even he can't deny how much progress they’ve made in his brothers. Mammon especially.

They're all actually studying more, cleaning up after themselves, doing their chores, and being polite… it's… admittedly he having an existential crisis...

This is what he's been missing this whole time?? Sticker charts?! And come on, they're all on the Student Council for Hell's sake! How could the most powerful beings in the Devildom be won over so easily by the same tactics used on human schoolchildren!?! Have some dignity!!

For the first month he just watched them whip his brothers into shape in barely concealed horror. It was so surreal...

But at about the time the MC managed to get Mammon and Levi to stop fighting and apologize for being mean to each other, he threw in the towel. Whether he liked them or not, he conceded that the human was a blessing in disguise and left most of the discipline to them from then on.

He's never been more productive in his life and he can actually get a night or two of good sleep with no interruptions... He's taken the MC out to lunch on multiple occasions and is still trying to talk Diavolo into letting them make this a permanent arrangement. They may actually get his brothers to become well-behaved demons yet...!

Mammon

Okay so, don't get it twisted. He doesn't need their stickers, or their love, or their approval, or all that positive reinforcement or anything! He's just playing along with them okay?? Okay?!

He scoffed at the whole thing at first because, look, he's no child. He's a grown-ass demon! What were little stickers of Devildom currency supposed to do for him??

But when they told him a completed chart would earn him a shopping spree outta their pocket… Well now they were talking.

He just did it at first for the big prize, but every time he finished a task the MC would be sure to notice how hard he worked and tell him he did a good job or compliment him somehow and… well… he doesn't get that a lot...

After a while he kind of forgot about filling out the chart because he would be excited to run to them and tell them what good thing he did next. Turns out this boy was starving for any kind of approval. 😖

The first time he actually finished his chart they told him how proud they were and he almost cried... Almost. He ain't that soft, okay??

Though he does mess up still, he probably makes the most progress of the House, much to everyone's disbelief. He's also super protective of his stickers and HATES when they're taken away so none of y'all better drag him into your problems, ya hear??

Leviathan

He feels like this normie is weird even for human standards… Why do they keep offering him stickers…?

Well… They are Ruri-chan themed so he's not complaining that much.

He's not even sure where they got them from… He thought he had a pulse on every bit of merch that comes out for his favorite characters so they must had those custom ordered and that's dedication.

They told him that they'd get him a new game for every finished chart, which was nice but not necessary, he kind of just liked getting more little pictures of Ruri-chan like the collector he is. 😌

After a while, the MC started subtly theming his tasks more toward getting out of his room and being more productive... In baby steps, of course.

He'd be scared, but they were always there to praise him any time he tried. With a little bit of time, he actually started getting more confident! I mean, not a lot but hey. It's improvement.

The human even managed to get Mammon to pay him back a little bit of the money he’s owed! Well, it was literally just one night's paycheck from Hell's Kitchen but it was still more than he's seen in three centuries so he'll take it! He goes to them whenever he needs to butter up Mammon now... They’re an excellent go-between.

Satan

Ah… So the MC is well-versed in psychological manipulation… Well he refuses to fall for it.

They could offer him all the stickers they wanted, he’s going to just fall in line like his brothers! He didn't need any psychological training from them, even as the youngest he’s centuries older than they are!

But wait… are those stickers cat themed…? And is that one in a little cowboy hat??

… Touché human. He'll play nice once or twice but he doesn't need their cute stickers!

A part of him got a lot of joy out of watching Lucifer finally admit that this living nursery rhyme of a being was better at controlling his brothers than he was… Talk about a slice of humble pie, he even got it all on camera… 😏

But his brother wasn't wrong... The House has never been cleaner and everyone's grades were up, even his own. As odd as it was to say, bringing the human to the Devildom seemed to have produced a net positive all around. 🤷‍♀️

And after he discovered that the MC convinced Lucifer to let him volunteer at a human world animal shelter each time he completed a chart… Move over, Beel. He's going to finish the most charts in the House now. Just you wait.

Asmodeus

Oh honey, he knows a thing or two about punishment and reward systems. It's going to take some pretty nice prizes for him to play this game...

Which is why his stickers get followed up by kisses.

For each new sticker, he gets to pick a spot to kiss them or for them to kiss him (though they don't let him get too pervy with it)

Finish the dishes? Get a kiss on the hand. Two hour of studying? There's one for the cheek. And so on.

The others get jealous of his deal pretty quickly and start asking for kisses too but he'll throw a fit if he ever finds out. The human's kisses are HIS prize so everyone else will just have to live with it! 😠

Asmo, drama-hog that he is, is also the biggest snitch in the House. He loooves telling the MC about when his brothers mess up and should lose stickers, Mammon especially because it make him sooo pissed.

He's also in a betting war with Satan over how many days it’ll take Belphie to actually get up and do his chores for a change... The current wager is two weeks or more.

Beelzebub

Thought it was a little weird that the human seemed so obsessed with praising him and calling him a good boy but whatever.

(Little did he know they were subtly using him like a role model of everybody else but that's neither here nor there 🤷‍♀️)

He doesn't mind the sticker thing because he gets them so easily. The theme seems to be: be responsible, helpful, and not a jerk which he passes with flying colors so it’s really not a challenge for him.

It was only after they told him that they'd take him out to Hell's Kitchen with each completed chart that he really got serious about it...

If you think normal Beel is sweet, actually trying to be sweet Beel is practically an angel all over again. He even stopped stealing food from other people's plates when the MC told him he could lose stickers for it… (which means that Levi can start eating breakfast for a change, at least. 🤷‍♀️)

He's long since completed five charts and is well into his sixth. It doesn't matter what it is, if food is on the line then Beel will knock it out of the park every time. If Lucifer wasn't funding their sticker project, then he honestly would have bankrupted the MC a long time ago… 😅… 😟… 😥...

Belphegor

What the-? Did he leave his brothers for a few months and they all formed a cult or something?? Why is everyone suddenly so obsessed with stickers???

He doesn't understand the appeal at all... Do chores around the house and get a prize? What kind of game were they trying to play here?? No thanks. He'll pass.

Belphie proved pretty hard to motivate, even with prizes, so the MC had to try a different tactic…

If there's anything that can motivate Belphie, it's the promise of good sleep and cuddles. But if they made it too difficult to get and he'd just sleep by himself in pouty defiance...

So they told him that he needs to get at least two or three stickers every few days or they'll stop cuddling completely until he does.

He didn't think they were serious at first… but any time he'd try to get his arms around them, they'd sidestep or slip out of the way like they had a sixth sense or something! What kind of superhuman reflexes do you need to keep up with human anklebiters???

It took a week for him to finally relent and join the freaky sticker cult that makes up the rest of his family... He remains self-aware enough to always point out how fucking bizarre it all is... but hey. He's too lazy to do much about it, so who cares right? 🤷‍♀️

Check out my Masterlist for more!

#obey me #obey me shall we date #shall-we-date-obey-me #obey me headcanons #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me belphegor #obey me beelzebub #obey me asmodeus #it just needed to happen #i have weird ideas sometimes

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dreaming-about-fanfictions · 4 years

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Choose Me Instead II Draco Malfoy x Reader II Chapter 5 of 27: You

Summary: Pretending to be in a relationship with Draco Malfoy to get back at your ex might have not been the smartest idea you ever had. Especially during your last year of Hogwarts where you should be focusing on exams and your future plans. However, you were just pretending. There was no way in hell you could actually catch feelings for someone like Malfoy. … Right?

CHAPTER 4

A/N: A chapter from a different perspective! I hope you all like it <3 And thank you so much for your support!! I love you all so muuuuuch!!!

Words: 2300 Pairing: Draco Malfoy x female!Reader, post-war Warnings: none

Draco Malfoy wasn’t easy to impress. Being bored quickly by other people was one reason why he never had many close friends – and yes, he knew how utterly arrogant that sounded. It was the truth however. He was friendly with most of the Slytherins but his mother always taught him “Quality over quantity” and he agreed. Draco went so far as to apply that mindset to his love life as well. Yes, before the sixth year of school, he used to like to flirt and he had dated the occasional Slytherin girl. He was also very aware of the fact that there had been quite a few girls with crushes on him. In some cases, he even reciprocated them, however, those feelings faded quickly.

So you couldn’t imagine how much it bothered Malfoy that he wasn’t able to stop thinking of you. Not even in his dreams did you leave him alone and so he kept on going back to that evening on the Quidditch field. Until today, it was entirely unclear to him why he told you all those things. He didn’t know anything about you yet speaking to you left him feeling … good, almost. After a year of trials and coming home to find his family and life in shambles, there was no one left to talk to. No one he wanted to talk to. To whom was he going to turn? His friends which were all coming from the same pureblood Death Eater families? Yes, of course, they understood – and also they didn’t. Not quite. Did you understand him? Probably not, he guessed. After all, you were a Gryffindor and fought on the right side of the war. The winning side. But talking to you felt different, almost easy. You grew up in another world than him and maybe that was the key to it all.

Obviously, Draco didn’t plan on repeating that evening. You were friends with the whole Potter and Weasley bunch. It made it even harder to trust you – how could he be sure you hadn’t already told your Gryffindor friends and were laughing about him behind his back? It was possible. A part of him didn’t want to believe this possibility and another part reminded him of all the times he was disappointed and got hurt by the people around him. It was probably for the best to stay away from you.

Yet he didn’t stop thinking of you. He saw you looking at him in the Great Hall during meals, watched you from walk away when you passed him in hallways and the library. Without noticing it, he always chose a place behind you in class. Draco didn’t understand the urge to be close to you. It was utterly ridiculous for Merlin’s sake. You were a Gryffindor; one of the good ones. He wasn’t. Not at all.

Maybe it was because of the kiss, he wondered at some point. Maybe you hexed him in this moment. Draco knew this theory was very far-fetched but it was the only logical explanation fin his mind. Why else would he keep thinking back to that moment in the storage room? He didn’t deny that you were witty and smart and very beautiful – he wasn’t blind after all – but so were lots of girls. What the hell was so special about you that you wouldn’t leave his thoughts?! It couldn’t be your taste in men as you obviously didn’t have any. At least there wasn’t a reasonable explanation for him for why someone like you would get with someone like the Weasel.

“Draco,” Blaise’s voice pulled him out of this thoughts. “You coming?”

Draco nodded. “Yeah, just a second.”

He got up from the table in their shared dorm, putting his notebook in the drawer of his nightstand. Two months since school started and he had almost filled in all of its pages. Draco started writing during the first trial of his parents last year. It kept him focused and helped him put his thoughts in order. It soon became a daily ritual which helped him stay grounded. Draco carried it around in his bag during the day, using it in between classes and meals. His friends caught him doing it a lot and he was sure they had already guessed what it was. He was glad when they didn’t say anything because in the end, Draco would have rather died before admitting that he was using a diary.

“You’re not wearing a costume!”, Astoria exclaimed when he joined the others in the common room. Pansy, Blaise, Theodore and the Greengrass sisters were already waiting for him.

There was a Halloween party happening in the Room of Requirements tonight and his friends had convinced him to go even though it meant more awkward conversations with Astoria.

“I thought we’re not doing muggle traditions. What are you supposed to be?”, he asked instead, taking in her revealing outfit.

She giggled. “I’m a healer. Or ‘nurse’ as the muggles call it.”

“Ah,” Draco made, thinking that she didn’t look like a healer at all. “I thought Halloween was supposed to be scary?”

Astoria rolled her eyes, before linking their arms with each other. “You’re no fun. Don’t you think I look pretty?”

“Astoria, you can wear a potato sack and still look absolutely stunning.”

That answer seemed to satisfy her and they started making their way towards the exit of the common room. Draco glanced at her from the side. She was, objectively speaking, the perfect match for a Malfoy. Coming from a well-respected and wealthy pureblood family combined with her intelligence and beauty, she was everything his parents could have wanted for him. Especially now.

You had told him what to do. It was such a simple solution to all of his impending problems. However, it had been the moment where Draco had realized that you grew up differently. Not a day went by where he didn’t receive a heartbreaking letter from his mother. He knew, she just wanted the best for him and she didn’t want to manipulate him; she was simply desperate. Desperate for the live they used to have – a husband at home, a son with a promising future, money and a respected place in society.

Draco had asked himself countless times what the marriage would truly mean. His family would have another chance. Together with Astorias family, his future was secured. A good job, maybe even in the ministry if he was lucky. Enough money to take care of his mother. Who knew, maybe his father would be out of Azkaban sooner? Draco marrying Astoria would lessen his families suffering, that was for sure. But did he want that? Did he want a simple and easy solution to make their past crimes … disappear? His family was far from innocent. They had committed horrible crimes in the name of the Dark Lord – and a part of him knew, they deserved everything they got in the end. Hell, he wouldn’t have been surprised if they sent his mother and him to Azkaban as well.

When thinking about the engagement, another thought popped into his head. Could he learn to love Astoria? Would he be happy with her? Maybe. Maybe not. Draco knew only one thing for sure – there was a reason why he kept resisting to the whole idea. Giving in felt like sacrificing another part of himself to something his family had burdened him with.

“And Astoria, I disagree,” Blaise once again disrupted his train of thought by joining in from the right. “Draco can quickly make his costume appear. Just roll up your sleeves, Dray, and the Gryffindors will shit their pants on the spot.”

The rest of the group snickered but Draco didn’t react. Instead he suppressed the urge to touch the mark on his left arm and shoved his hand deeper into the pocket of his pants.

***

The Room of Requirement was absolutely crowded.

The Slytherins were surprised by how many people had actually appeared. Almost everyone from the sixth and seventh grade was here, wearing mostly ridiculous costumes. Music roared from invisible speakers, students were dancing and talking loudly.

“I’m surprised that the teachers didn’t already break this up,” Blaise almost had to shout. “Or Filch.”

Draco shrugged. “I feel like they stopped caring this year.”

“Maybe they feel responsible for all those deaths,” Theo suggested.

“So to make up for all the trauma, they allow us to party?”, Blaise concluded with an amused undertone.

“It’s good for us though so stop talking and start drinking,” Pansy chirped and grabbed Draco and Theo by their arms, pulling them towards the table with a few questionable bottles.

When his friends started chatting about the usual Hogwarts gossip, Draco’s eyes started to wander. He was searching the crowd for someone. You. Were you here? Did you even like parties? Draco had no idea. You always looked quite social from what he witnessed.

And there you were – standing in a group of people, listening to Granger who was gesticulating wildly. You were holding a drink and laughing at whatever the other girl told you. Draco noticed from across the room how your eyes were gleaming, your face red from the alcohol. You looked so careless. He swallowed hard at the sight.

“He’s either staring at Weasley, the mudblood or Y/L/N,” Zabini said to the others in that moment. “Don’t know what’s worse.”

Draco needed a second to understand his friends were talking about him. “What did you just say?” He turned to them.

Zabini grinned widely at him. “I said, you’re staring at the Gryffindors again, Draco. It’s fucking weird. What’s your sudden obsession with them?”

Draco quickly glanced at the rest of his friends. Daphne, Theodore and Pansy watched the two of you with a smirk on their lips, maybe even suppressing a giggle. Astoria looked at Draco with a worried expression.

“No, what did you just say?”, Draco repeated his question, straightening up slightly. “What did you call Granger?”

Blaise snorted. “What?”

Draco just stared at him.

“I called her a mudblood,” Blaise gave a half shrug.

“Yeah, what the fuck, Blaise,” Draco spat out.

“Come on, Dray,” Theodore tried to intervene. “It’s no big deal.”

“It is!” He looked at him, visibly disgusted.

“What’s your problem, Draco?”, Blaise raised an eyebrow, shifting from one leg to another. “You called her a mudblood for years and now you suddenly have a problem with it? You’re acting so weird this year, seriously.”

Before Draco was able to reply, Astoria carefully placed her hand on his arm. It took all the strength he had, not to immediately shake her off. “Come on,” she said softly. “Let’s get you a new drink and calm down.” She pulled him a few steps away from the group.

Draco gritted his teeth, remembering what he had thought about not being able to talk to his old friends. They understood – and also they didn’t.

“Are you okay, Draco?” Astoria asked, still looking slightly alarmed.

Draco looked at her. Did she want to hear an honest answer? “Sure,” he finally said.

She didn’t buy it. “You’ve been acting strange for a while now.”

“I’m really not.”

“Draco,” she reached for his hand. “I know you.”

He sighed and rubbed his eyes with his free hand. “Can we … can we not talk about this now? Here? With all these people around us?”

“There’s always a reason not to talk so we might as well do it here,” she pressed on.

Draco could think of a thousand different things he’d rather do than talk to her right now. “I’m … I’m not acting strange. It’s just a lot. With my parents and all that.”

Her smile changed from worried to pity. “I understand.” Did she? “That’s why I think we should move on.”

What kind of weird reaction was this? “Move on?”, Draco frowned.

“With our engagement.”

“Right.”

Astoria squeezed his hand. “I don’t see why we can’t just make it official.”

Draco looked at her fingers as if he was searching for a ring that he had forgotten existed. “Because the whole thing isn’t official yet,” he slowly said.

The brunette let go of his hand. “It’s going to happen anyways. My parents won’t stop talking about it and I bet it’s no different for your mother.”

Draco just wanted to get out of this situation. He got dragged here and now it was just one big argument. Why couldn’t they have stuck to gossiping and partying? “Why during school though?”

He saw how Astoria stared at the ground for a moment. When she started speaking again, her voice had become a little colder. “You know, there are a lot of men who would jump at this opportunity. My family is well respected and yours is …”

Draco let out a short whistle. “Thanks, Astoria,”

Astoria was visibly uncomfortable and Draco wondered if she regretted what she had just said. “That’s not how I meant it and you know that, Dray. I just don’t understand why this takes you so long.”

Draco put his hands on hips, pushing his jacket back. “Excuse me if I’m wrong,” he started, “But I’m not exactly your first choice either, am I?”

The girl didn’t answer right away. When she did though, Draco wanted to laugh at the sheer absurdity. “It’s not about what I want. It’s about what my parents want. Pureblood marriages will happen less and less in the future so we will be a good union.”

“Right,” Draco mumbled with a sad smile. It’s all about the family.

Astoria cleared her throat. “Well, are there any reasons why we shouldn’t move on?”

“Yes, there are.”

This didn’t come from Draco or Astoria. Irritated by the sudden interruption, he turned around to see who had so rudely eavesdropped on the conversation.

You.

***

A/N: Even though I wrote this, I really felt for Draco in this chapter. His life (like so many other characters lives in HP) is so f****** up. Sorry but I can’t find a better word for it. Poor Draco. Anyways - I hope you liked it!! I’d love to hear what you think <3 I love reading your comments *-* (if you don’t comment or do anything, it’s fine, don’t worry, I just love to read your thoughts <3)

CHAPTER 6

“Choose Me Instead”-Masterlist HP-Masterlist

Tag List: @writerdee1701, @youareinllve, @sjmahoney, @detroitobsessed, @takura-rin, @jadam268, @wynterwind, @mina672, @renaissance-confiance, @harpoon999, @doitforthevine67, @rinasrights, @flowerpowerpixie, @gold-flowing, @starkssnarks, @bookcornerkins, @harpersmariano, @markedsweetly, @iraniq, @pointlesscoconut, @hvrcruxes, @pillowjj, @idkatee, @jungjxxhyun, @magicwithaknife, @graystherapy, @sophia-gwendolyn, @nxstalgicnxbxdy, @sunsetsofanemoia, @s4dthrills, @tommy-holland, @lordfxxker, @streetfighterrichie, @awaken-the-sirens, @destiels-assbutt13, @pockitparks, @just-addicted-to-bangtan, @cuddlykoala101, @zpandaqueen, @marvelpeters, @natsiboo, @jjjmaybank, @justmesadgirl, @books-and-tings

If you want to be added to my tag list, let me know <3

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fallingappleshurt · 4 years

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Do y’all wanna see the VERY BASIC outline for my AU based off the Project Pink story, this shit that I wrote while sleep deprived

Too bad have it anyways

(I will be adding a lot more to this AU and might change some stuff but here are just the basics, god I’m tired)

ANYWAYS Finding a Home

There aren’t really any set age ranges or stories in place for this yet, it’s more just a brain dump word vomit thing

Techno:

-A really good student even though he procrastinates all of the time

-He really likes to read

-Has really big boxy glasses that are too big for his face (He’ll grow into them eventually)

-He has claimed himself to be Wilbur’s protector of sorts, making sure he doesn;t do anything too reckless or stupid and overall just trying to help him

-He has stopped Wilbur from doing so much stupid shit, you don’t even know

-They have been through about 6 foster homes before being placed with Phil

-They were split up once but after a few weeks Techno got sick of his home and met up with Wilbur, who hid him for two days before getting busted

-They put Techno back in the same home but he ran away again, he saved up money and stayed in a gross motel for a day then in a park for another before being found

-Finally he was placed back with Wilbur and they were put with Phil

-Techno is obsessed with space, absolutely star-struck (haHA) by it

- The different planets and their environments, stars, comets, he thinks it’ll all super interesting

-He has those shitty glow in the dark stars on the wall next to his bunk

-Once he and Wilbur snuck out to the woods at night and climbed up a tree to star gaze away from city lights

-(Majority of their ‘delinquent stuff was before they met Phil)

-He and Wilbur would spray paint animal faces on water tanks and abandoned properties

-They spent half of their childhood in a kind of crappy neighborhood with weird streets, trashy houses, and the town was overall just dumpy

-They would wander around and explore some of the closed off or abandoned houses just to see what was there

-They couldn't do this any when they were placed with Phil, who lives in the suburbs

-They can still cause chaos, somewhat, where he works

-Techno and Phil go to the library everyone, it’s become a tradition

-Techno likes pigs, enough said

Wilbur:

-Dirty crime boy

-Has definitely hidden from the cops before, nothing that serious

-Really likes to play the guitar

-He has fairy lights hanging around the top bunk of his bed, there was nothing to hang them on so he taped them to the wall

-He is actually really good with spray paint

-Phil got some old wooden boards for Wilbur to paint on instead of private property, cause, ya know

-He gets is paint from some rando at school

- He really likes to adventure and sneak around

-Half of the stuff he does gives Techno a heart attack

-Wilbur is okay at school but he doesn’t really like it but for some reason he is really good at science

-He’s mad there isn’t a guitar option for the band or orchestra

-At an old foster home he would steal an older siblings guitar to practice with, he did this so much to the point where they would have to lock it away so he couldn’t get to it

-So he learned to pick locks

-So they had to hide it in different places

-He really likes the ocean, especially coral reefs and sea animals

-He wants to scuba dive some day!

-Techno learned a bunch of ocean facts and will randomly spew them at Wilbur

-He enjoys it

-Wilbur likes to listen to Techno talk about anything like books, shows, movies, anything that he is interested in and will listen to Techno talk about it for hours, it’s especially interesting when he’s passionate about the topic and Wilbur can see him getting more excited and into it

-Techno has books that’d read outloud to Wilbur when they were younger, sometimes when they can’t sleep, he’ll read out loud again

-Wilbur really likes stickers and has a box of them but doesn’t know where to put them so they just stay in the box

-He keeps collecting them though

-He teaches Tommy the guitar every Thursday

-He will randomly walk up behind Techno and rest his chin on Technio’s head

Phil:

-He is the manager of a mall (BEAR WITH ME)

- He has fostered kids before but never adopted before Techno, Wilbur, and Tommy

-He is good at handling chaos, thank god, and isn’t really phased by half of the stuff his kids do

-He gardens, he randomly started one day and found out he has a green thumb

-He also is a good cook and spends time trying to teach the boys how to cook, or at least not set the kitchen on fire

-Techno and Tommy show promise but Wilbur might be a lost cause for cooking

-He has a heart tattooed on his left wrist

-The bucket hat is something he wears when gardening

-He bought Wilbur his first guitar and a song book to go with it, later on he got Wilbur a notebook so he could write songs or anything he wanted to

-He takes Techno to the library every week, the first time they went Techno only got a few books but the next time he got like 16 and some of them were thick boys and Techno couldn’t carry them all

-He has taken all of them to the aquarium and Wilbur almost lost his shit trying to see everything

-Techno read all of the fish information tablets and Tommy liked the interactive pool where you could poke rocks and shit

-He brings them to work with him sometimes and lets them wander around the mall, praying to god they don’t set shit on fire

-He is really patient with Tommy but once they got comfortable with each other he had no problem teasing him, all of the boys really

-He really likes birds and has a bird feeder in the tree in their backyard

Tommy:

-Gremlin

-That’s it

- He is super energetic and bouncy

-He has trouble falling asleep sometimes because of this

-He is loud and can be rude but means well

-He wasn’t super interested in a lot of things but he loves legos, even if there aren’t any specific things he has to build, he just likes to make giant towers with them and sets them up around the house

-They have all stepped on so many legos, oh so many legos

-He’s really smart but has a hard time focusing so he gets help from Techno and Wilbur, and Phil, sometimes

-His knees are constantly scraped

-He made friends with a kid named Tubbo from school, they became close friends really quickly

-Tubbo and Tommy switched bandanas, Tommy gave Tubbo his red one and Tubbo gave Tommy his green one (YES I’m going THERE)

-Tommy doesn’t let anyone else touch it

-None of the others actually knew about Tubbo, they’d ask who gave him the bandana and he’d say some girl from school or something

-After awhile Tommy wanted to see Tubbo outside of school so he lied and said he joined a club then would go hang out with Tubbo after school at a park

-This went on for weeks until Techno and Wilbur got suspicious, Wilbur actually cut class and followed Tommy, who was still in elementary, like 5th grade, at the time and got out earlier, and saw him meeting at a park

-He didn’t find this to be that bad and told Techno but not Phil

-Eventually Tubbo got to meet the rest of the family but that wasn’t until sixth grade or so

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imagine-loki · 3 years

Text

You Have Heart

TITLE: You Have Heart CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: 1/?

AUTHOR: nekoamamori ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine finding out that your soulmate is Loki and your very first kiss is interrupted by Thor shouting “Yeeessss”

RATING: M NOTES/WARNINGS: This is a rewrite of the original work of the same name. Also on AO3 here

You have heart

You looked at the black words that appeared to be tattooed on your arm. Everyone had such marks. They were the first words you would hear from your soulmate. Some people’s were written in childish scrawls, those people met their soulmate when they were children. Some were written in adult writing. As was yours. The words on your arm were written in an elegant masculine hand, looking almost like calligraphy.

You still hadn’t met your soulmate yet. The words were still dark and black on your skin. Most of your friends had found theirs by now, but not you.

You also had long ago noted the strange words. Soulmate tattoos tended to fall into two categories. The first were standard greetings, though you usually saw those on the older generations. Then people started figuring out that they could more easily identify their soulmate if they greeted every stranger with a weird phrase before they began the proper greeting. So those became the second category of tattoos.

It wasn’t surprising to see people with things like movie quotes, random exclamations, things about purple unicorns, or ‘the sky is orange’, or “I wonder if fish get thirsty”. One poor girl had “I can’t believe Dumbledore died” on her arm and cried when she first read Harry Potter and already knew that Dumbledore was going to die even in the first book, years before the sixth one had been written.

You were pulled from your thoughts by your phone ringing. Who the fuck called anyone anymore? You grabbed your phone and looked at the display. At least it wasn’t your mom, who was one of the few people who actually called. You didn’t feel like talking to her today. Instead, it was your best friend. You pressed the green answer button and lifted the phone to your ear. “Hey Soph,” you greeted and started to pace your apartment. You never could just sit still while on the phone.

“We’re going to see the movie today, right? You promised!” Sophie replied. She was always like that, always starting conversations like she was already in the middle of it.

You hesitated and paced a couple more steps. “I… don’t know, Soph…” you hedged. “Isn’t seeing a movie about real people who are still living kinda weird?” You asked her. She’d been begging you for months to see the Avengers movie with her when it came out. She was obsessed with the team, as was pretty much everyone in the known world after the Battle of New York.

“They’re superheroes,” she reminded you. Again. “Besides, we were all there and the actors are hot. Please? You promised!” she begged. The movie had come out that day and you knew she was desperate to see it.

You sighed heavily into the phone. “Fine, but you owe me,” you told her.

“I’ll buy the tickets. And I’ll owe you a favor if the movie is bad,” she promised and you could hear the grin in her voice at winning. “I’ll text you the details,”

“You already bought the tickets, didn’t you?” You asked, rolling your eyes.

“Months ago!” She agreed and cheerfully hung up.

You couldn’t help laughing at your friend’s antics and went to find something to wear to go see a movie in. You chose jeans, and on a whim, one of your Avengers T-shirts. You had to admit to yourself that you were just as obsessed with the superheroes as the rest of the world.

Soph texted you the movie information while you were changing. You texted her back ‘You’re also buying me popcorn’

‘Fair’

At least she was being reasonable.

She hadn’t found her soulmate yet either, which was why the pair of you hung out so much together. People had a tendency to pair off with their soulmates, or other couples, once they found them. Which got to be more and more lonely for those of you without your soulmates as you got older. Dating… wasn’t really a thing after you experimented a little in high school and college. Most people waited until they found their soulmate, anything else seemed like either… a waste of time or practice.

You weren’t cruel enough to do either to another person.

You grabbed your purse and headed out to meet up with Soph. The theater was only a few subway stops from your apartment, but the weather was decent, so you decided to save the money and just walk it.

Plus, you would walk past the Avengers tower as you did. You couldn’t help feeling the allure of the place. You always felt drawn to it, though you didn’t know why. There was nothing for you there. The Avengers lived there when they were in town. Not much else was known about the place as it wasn’t open to the public. Still, you were drawn there. Drawn to the slim chance of seeing the jet coming or going, or Iron Man or Thor flying.

You kept your distance, though. The tower was no place for someone like you. You had no powers, no abilities. You were just… a normal girl.

You glanced at the tower as you passed by that day too and saw nothing going on. Though there was a fairly fresh Bifrost circle in the grass outside the tower. Thor was back, it seemed. You shook your head and kept walking so you wouldn’t be late meeting up with Soph.

When you arrived at the theater, you saw the huge crowd waiting for the movie and looked around for Soph. She was at the concessions stand getting your popcorn and drinks. You made your way through the crowd to get to her. “This place is packed,” you greeted her and took the drinks from her, letting her carry the giant popcorn you would share through the movie.

“It’s opening weekend,” she replied easily. “Glad I got our tickets early. C’mon,” she said brightly and led you to the theater and your seats. They were great seats.

“Did you preorder these or something?” You asked when you were settled.

She nodded “Yeah, the second tickets went on sale. I wanted to make sure we could see it opening night,” she replied with a grin. “I know you’re just as obsessed with the team as I am,”

“You know me too well,” you grumbled with a blush.

She laughed “I’ve only know you since the first grade,” she teased you. You laughed and shoved her playfully as the theater was quickly filling up around you.

You settled into your seat and started munching on popcorn while you watched the previews. You still weren’t sure what to think about the actual movie, and hoped it did the battle justice. You’d heard that Thor and the team were heavily involved in making sure the events depicted were accurate. You were about to find out.

The movie started and you watched with interest at the opening. This part of the story you didn’t know. The explanation of the Tesseract, then the events in the SHIELD base where they were studying it. The portal opened and Loki appeared on the screen.

You had to admit to yourself that the actor playing him was as hot as Soph had promised. That was a good sign.

Then he spoke. His accent was beautiful, almost British, but with a deeper, more regal tone to it.

But that wasn’t what made your heart stop.

Or what drew your gasp.

The character’s, no not character, it was Loki, Loki was a real person. And his first words in the movie were to Agent Barton while he held him in place. “You have heart,”

The same words that were on your arm.

The same words that now glowed with the soulmate bond being activated. They flashed with power, then the glow faded. Suddenly, the words were no longer black, but looked like they were now tattooed in emerald ink with gold speckled into it.

You have heart

Your soulmate was Loki? Maybe it was just the actor?

But no, you knew in your very being what that glow, what the colors and the words, what all of it meant.

Your soulmate was Loki, prince and god of Asgard.

Oh gods.

What was going to happen to you now?

#Loki #Lover #Submitted fic #submission #you have heart #chapter 1 #nekoamamori

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gh0stlycryptic · 3 years

Text

Ya know. I'm gonna do it. I'mma put these bitches on blast.

Me, sixth grade, Twilight is high in popularity.

People were cutting throats for which team they were on

I remember back then I was interested enough (because I've been in love with vampires since I could breathe) but I also remember being super bummed cause of the whole glittering part

I digress, basically, I wasn't super obsessed with it, and I have to say that I like it more now than I did then. I never understood why people choose that over tons of other media about vampires

On to the point - I had procured a copy of Eclipse™ from my school library. I was super excited, because it was a thick book and I was going to be able to read all night when I got home.

I don't remember this bitches name, but we are going to call her Emma™

Now I don't remember Emma™ and I ever being good friends (even before this) so I don't know why she thought this would have ended differently

Emma™ sits behind me in out last class because she noticed I was about to get my hands on the gold that was apparently Eclipse™ and thought she would be able to take it from me

"hey, so I was wondering if I could borrow that book. I was looking for it in the library, and there weren't anymore copies, and I just haven't read the book, so it would be great if I got to read it tonight" Emma™ asked me

"no Emma™ - I also haven't read the book and I am really looking forward to reading it. I'll tell you when I check it back in." I said nicely, like a nice human

"well, I mean, I just really love twilight, probably more than you, anyway, so, like, you should just let me read it. It doesn't matter if you got to it first."

Emma™ started getting on my nerves at this point

"um. No. That is my final answer. I will not❤️ be giving you the book. You will have to wait."

Flash forward to the end of class - people are going back and forth from lockers now (the lockers for us were right outside our last class)

I went under my desk to grab the ever elusive Eclipse™, only to find that it was -

Not There™

So I'm like huh that's weird. I ask around. No one has seen it go anywhere. I'm kind of panicking. Not only cause I really needed escapism, but also because I don't wanna pay any extra fees.

Suddenly, I get a funny feeling in my tummy

At the same time I notice that someone *cough* (Emma™) *cough* is no where to be seen.

Huh. So I go out to see liTTLE FUCKING EMMA™ QUICKLY TRYING TI STUFF SOMETHING IN HER BAG

Im fuming at this point, and I storm over to her and flip open her backpack before she had gotten to zip it.

And there is was

Eclipse™

"wow, I can't believe this, all you had to do was wait"

She said some mean things, and looked super embarrassed (good 🙄)

All was good, all was great, I got to read that night.

However! The next day at lunch I saw one of my best friends (we will call her Glasses), and it just so happened that Emma™ was also in our lunch class so I was about to get her ROASTED

I told Glasses the atrocities Emma™ had committed, the blatant disrespect, the outright crime she had bestowed upon me.

But Emma™ acted like I was crazy

AND THEN GASLIT THE WHOLE TABLE TO THINK I MADE IT UP

EVEN GLASSES

SO I WAS THE ONE ROASTED

Moral of the story is: it doesn't really matter cause I was the one who got to read the book first - Also, don’t trust your friends in sixth grade

#theghostlycryptic #twilight #breaking dawn #eclipse #new moon #stephenie meyer #twilight saga #vampires #middle school #sixth grade #edward cullen #bella swan #alice cullen #jacob black #carlisle cullen #charlie swan #thegh0stlycryptic

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jordankennedy · 4 years

Text

for people who asked about me knowing corruption avatars when i was a kid:

ok so when i was in middle school i had these two friends named peter and malia that were like. christ. im having trouble putting into words how massively weird these two twelve year olds were. i knew them for three years sixth grade to eighth grade and they were the most disgusting kind of friends in such a way where if you were also friends with them you were like absolutely 100% stone cold sure that they were not romantically interested in each other but if youd never met them or if youd only met one of them you would INSTANTLY think thats what it was, if that makes sense? but also they were literally NEVER more than ten feet away from each other and they were always touching each other but they were like….VITRIOLIC about it. theyd like…pull each others hair and lick each other and do the grossest shit imaginable in front of and to each other like they were mean as shit but it was their weird fucked up creepy way of joking? i remember so vividly one time in seventh grade malia ate like 20 sour hard candies and peeled a layer of skin off of her tongue and put it on peter’s arm and he just did not even care did not give a shit at ALL and actually i think thats what made me realize that the two of them were legitimately grade A insane. anyway the point is that they were just objectively creepy people but i stayed friends w them bc they were only ever mean to each other like they were actually cool and nice to hang with they just always seemed to toe the line between extremely disturbingly intimate and insular friendship and complete utter hatred with each other and they were also just kind of mildly gross? not enough to like, bring up to teachers or anything but just enough to be unsettling. they would keep earthworms and dirt and dusty rocks in their pockets. peter always seemed to have a cold, even after allergy season. malia’s locker smelled awful and had an ant colony in it in the spring of eighth grade that was not there at the beginning of the school year—i found out later that she specifically would buy fruit at lunch and keep it in her locker on purpose until it rotted. they both always had dirt under their nails and muddy shoes and messy hair. and i remember all of this in such perfect detail because i committed both peter and malia to my permanent memory when at the very end of eighth grade like HALF the middle school got sick (i was lucky enough not to but my mom did and most of my friends. it wasnt a serious illness just like a minor little sneezy bug) and after everyone i knew that had been sick got better i just.... never saw peter and malia again. they were not related at all and looked nothing alike (although they...MIGHT have been adopted sibs??? idk??? they had different last names so, not likely) so i find it very hard to believe that they both moved at the same time. but they just fucking vanished after the summer. literally neither me nor any of my friends ever saw them again. to this day i still have no idea what happened to them but i think they might have been manifestations of the corruption. and the thing is they werent even like...specifically bad people. i actually liked them a lot malia was a really good artist and peter would always help me with my math homework its just that they were *just* gross enough and had *just* weird enough of a relationship with each other to be extremely unsettling people PLUS I NEVER SAW THEM AGAIN AFTER THERE WAS AN OUTBREAK IN MY TOWN???? HELLO???? THEY JUST FUCKING VANISHED!!!!

this is so. i feel like it SOUNDS like im making this up but im literally not i just remember it all perfectly bc it was just so goddamn odd. one time they stayed over at my house over spring break and i asked them if they wanted to use the shower and they just looked at me like i had three eyes. malia specifically was the one with the bugs. i actually went to summer camp with them between sixth and seventh grade and they had a big huge sort of zoo there that was just for insects and reptiles and malia would let the giant cockroaches and queen wasps and tarantulas and salamanders crawl all over her and the things seemed to LOVE her. like id hold the bugs whatever but they like. without exception would actively try to climb onto either malia or the counselor that usually handled them if they were next to me. like they were just fucking greasy and weird and obsessed with each other and bugs would show up and people would get sick where they were and then they just literally up and vanished right before i turned fourteen they were the oddest people ive ever known

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you-deserve-to-love-yourself · 3 years

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hey how have you been?

weird question but, i hope its ok to ask advice on this one, if not thats totally ok

i was wondering if you know how to,, make friends? i joined so many chats and followed so many people but all i do is comment on their posts or just chat in the group chat. it doesnt get to the point where i pm them

while i do have acquintances in those chats that i recognise and talk to A Lot i just,,, feel like its not the same as a maybe close friendship? i dont know

i even made a friend application and talked to a lot of people but a weird situation happened where a lot of them left me on read randomly(which is ok im not mad at that) and i thought id text them later but then i didnt... so now im just occasionally dming 1 person but idk.

i dont know where im going with this but basically, i dont know how to make friends,, or how to get to the friend stage,, any tips? thank you

(please tag as frog emoji if ok)

Yeah it’s totally ok to ask for advice!

Oof,, making friends. I’ll admit that it doesn’t come to me easily either, and I especially struggled with making and keeping my friends a ton when I was younger. I hope talking about my own personal experience might help.

For me personally, when I think about who I consider a friend now, a lot of my online friends, or even my friends “from” school, are people that I talk to in Discord servers or group chats but don’t really dm. And surprisingly? I’m okay with that. I used to be at a point where I craved close friendships to the point where I was accepting treatment that wasn’t okay, but I’m not really there anymore.

And as for the people I do text or DM? Now that I think of it, all of them come from previous hobbies or interests that I don’t really do anymore.

A lot of the times, the reason I started out dming or texting people was for working on something, and not necessarily chatting. I have a friend from when I used to do activism, and we started texting to get work done. I worked with a ton of people, but I happened to click with her.

I think of that example as an “accidental” friendship, where I wasn’t really trying to get to know her, but we liked each other and became friends.

A lot of the friends I made actually came from a period in my life where I decided that I was done with my obsession with making friends, and I was going to spend some time completely alone. I talked about it here; I’d sit in an empty classroom reading during lunch and didn’t really talk to people.

Somehow, I acquired two friends I really liked during that time. From class, no less. I think part of it came from letting go of my expectations of what a friendship was supposed to look like, and being okay with being alone. One of those friends I made in a hard class where we exchanged numbers just to help each other with homework. The other I sat next to in a chiller class because no one was sitting at her table. We started chatting and I thought she was cool. I don’t really talk to either of them anymore, but I think that’s an example of how sometimes you can stumble across cool people after you stop looking for them.

I was in some online communities though, and I did tend to reach out to people a lot. Not necessarily because I wanted to be close to them, but usually because I thought they were cool or I just wanted to tell them something. Seriously, I started speaking to one of my online friends when he was asking about restaurants in my area and I didn’t feel like announcing my location in a big server. Lol.

And the thing is? The ratio of people I clicked with versus people I talked to was pretty low. If I reached out to, say, 100 people (it was less don’t worry lol), I became friends with fifteen and I’m still speaking to three.

And I’m okay with that! Since at that time, I’d “given up” on my desire for close friendships, I talked with those people just because I wanted to. And even with the people I haven’t spoken to in months, I genuinely enjoyed talking to them and I’m happy we started chatting.

I’ve also reconnected a group of online friends I first met when I was very young. I’m talking fifth grade, sixth grade age. I don’t DM any of them, but I consider it a pretty close knit group and I’m happy just talking to them through a Discord server.

Tl;dr: I personally used to have an unhealthy obsession with an idea of what I thought friendship was. In my personal experience, letting go of my need for friendship was not only freeing, but actually helped me in my interactions with others.

Of course, everyone’s different. This is my background as one neurodivergent girl who’s had specific experiences.

My question is, are you enjoying the chats you’re in? Please remember to have fun, okay? If you joined your chats or followed people with like, a specific goal in mind, you might get disappointed. But if you genuinely like interacting with them through Tumblr and through other communities, maybe that’s the type of friendship that’ll bring you the most happiness in that specific case.

When I was in fifth or sixth grade, my mom bought me a book called How to Win Friends and Influence People for Teen Girls, by Dale Carnegie’s daughter Donna. Obviously it’s targeted to a specific demographic, but I haven’t read the original and it might be a lot less accessible.

I thought it would “help” me make friends. It didn’t really; It took me many more years before I was happy with my social circle. But what it did do was give me specific stories and help me rework some of my beliefs around what friendship was supposed to be and how they start. It taught me super important things about how to admit mistakes and communicate with people. And honestly? Even though I didn’t really apply what I read until many years later, I think that information stuck around in my mind and contributed to where I am today.

Maybe it’ll be helpful to you, maybe it won’t. But I’d consider checking it out!

I hope some of this was helpful to you and I’m wishing you all the best! 💚

#ask #anon #friendships #🐸#aure speaks

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ash-etherwood · 3 years

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Top 5: writing memories, songs, characters that are not blank rune, runes, food

♡

Linda I love you but are you trying to kill me … that’s so many Top 5’s! But alright, I’ll do my best! (Answers will probably switch between German and English RIP to every non-German-speaker who follows me and wants to read this for some reason I swear I’m normal)

WRITING MEMORIES

5.) The entire time I spent finishing my first (second?) longer writing project It was the year 2012 and it was a cyberpunk story about my friends’ and my edgy self inserts riding dinosaurs, fighting aliens and being badass. The plot twist in the end was that my character was secretly evil and wanted to kill everyone. (Things to show your therapist) The final boss fight made zero sense and also everything was incredibly weird and stupid. But sometimes I still think about those times when I sat in my grandma’s living room at night, eating chips and listening to Vocaloid covers while thinking this story was the coolest shit ever. Truly simpler times.

4.) Researching something about universities in Texas for OvF on a rainy Saturday afternoon I have no idea why this memory is still sticking with me to this day (I think it was around 2016 or something?), but I remember that it was just a really nice day and I felt really at peace at that moment?

3.) The entire writing process of Bathroom Blues It was such a spontaneous project and I still have no idea how I managed to power though it in just a little under two months! Also it was just incredibly fun seeing you getting excited over new drafts and I loved coming up with new plot points and Halloween costumes for everyone with you. :-D Truly a summer worth remembering.

2.) FINALLY uploading the prologue and intro chapter of WWBL Not really a writing memory, but that moment was … so sexy and magical. Seriously, you have no idea how long I had been waiting to finally start that story, waiting for the Steckbriefe to roll in and see people react to the prologue and generally the idea … I even made one of those countdown graphic thingies for the designated upload date! 8D At that point I had planned that story for about six months and just … yeah, that felt powerful to me.

1.) Writing the prologue for WWBL When I first started the draft for that prologue I was sitting at the window in my favourite hotel in Winterberg, Sauerland, wore my dark green flannel, had the window wide open breathing in the cool mountain air and allowed myself to listen to my WWBL playlist for the very first time. God, that felt so amazing. I even have a photo of it (which somehow makes it look like I have the biggest football shoulders in the universe) my sister took that night. God I miss Sauerland. )’:

- - - - -

SONGS

My apologies to every favourite song of mine that I forgot about, I have a whole playlist of them, but I think these are some of my oldest faves … (Honorable mentions for Don’t Mess With Me and Not That Big by Temposhark, Goodbye by Apparat, Me And The Devil by Soap&Skin, Heart Heart Head by Meg Myers, Pain and Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace, Beautiful Crime by Tamer, Gravity Of Love by Enigma, In Flames by Digital Daggers [thanks Phi u_u] and Murder Cries by Snow Ghosts AHHH FUCK IT I could’ve just made a playlist,,,)

5.) Vater Unser by E Nomine Starting off with some weird shit, won’t we? I’ve been in love with this song since fifth or sixth grade, when I was just starting to develop an actual music taste and although I have many favourite songs by E Nomine, this one has to be my absolute fave. Every time I can relate it to a character it makes me love said character even more. (Also I think about it every time my mom forces me to go to church for Christmas so … yay? I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t even be able to remember the Vater Unser if it wasn’t for this song. 8D)

4.) Wires by The Neighbourhood I think this is the newest all-time fave on this list, I found it in … 2015? Thank you, Youtube AMVs. Yeah man, this one is just … on so many playlists it’s not even funny anymore.

3.) Heathens by Twenty One Pilots An edgelord classic but like … it’s on EVERY playlist of mine. Every single one. It’s just so good. The first time I heard it was on the radio tho, when I was having breakfast with Jessie and I forced her to shazam it because it immediately stuck with me,,,

2.) Imaginary by Evanescence My first Evanescence song ever and the first step towards becoming who I am today I think. This song has like … such a big history for me, man. It single-handedly turned me goth in 2008 and I have never really thanked it for that.

1.) Eternal by Evanescence Might be my favourite song of all time. The number of dramatic RP scenes I have written with this in the background … man. Oh, also this song is the reason for one of my oldest internet nicknames, ‘eternala’, which subsequently shortened into Etschuh and then Tschuh, my main nickname until 2017, when I came out as trans and finally found an actual name for myself I was comfortable with!

- - - - -

NON BLANK RUNE CHARACTERS

I know this was probably supposed to be about fandom characters but I can literally not come up with a single character right now that I love with a special burning passion and that is not my or one of my friends’ OCs so you’re getting OCs now. u_u And boy do I have a lot of those.

5.) Jackson Tracey from atroCITY (mine) This little piece of shit kept me company for a pretty long time and is still very close to my heart for some reason, although I haven’t drawn him or really thought about him in detail for a while now. My favourite thing is how I only realized what a horrible person he was after I stopped regularly working with him but honestly good for me. 8D His storyline and personality is kinda convoluted and tbh I’m not really sure how much of it is canon anyway (atrc was always a little weird about canon rip) but yeah. He’s an obsessive stalker piece of shit who pities himself way too much and he is also a semi-immortal demigod who likes knives. I hate him but he also helped me a lot with some gender and sexuality stuff so thanks I guess.

4.) Mayoko Imai from Century Riders DXPrototype (Maus’ and mine) Mayoko is a magical girl protagonist with a cool cyborg arm prosthetic and her main character trait was that she was basically a reverse weeaboo, a Japanese girl who was obsessed with American media, culture and comic book heroes! I actually love her concept a lot and she also had a pretty cool character arc in her story (which Maus and I wrote together and actually finished btw!), although it could use a lot more … polishing from today’s point of view. But I love her anyway. She always wanted to do the right thing and be a hero and got broken pretty cruelly and her ending is kinda bittersweet I guess? Ahh there’s just so much nuance to it … anyways, CR3 also stuck with me for a very long time and I enjoyed the time with her a lot. :3 (Her name had a cameo in Another Incident btw heehee)

3.) Tessa *insert extremely long chain of unnecessary first names here* von Lean from Nobody Is Perfect and Infernal Temptation (belongs to one of my old school friends) Tessa is just … a hand full. I love to hate her. She is badly written and developed and just OOZES mentally ill teenage girl’s idealized self-insert power fantasy, but she just … man, she was a big part of one of my most drama-filled high school friendships which I love looking back at so much. Tessa has fucked so many of my characters … good for her tbh! There are actually two versions of her, one is just a ‘normal’ teenage girl and one can shapeshift into a cheetah, but both of them are very close to my heart. I should really adopt and redesign her some day.

2.) Judy Khayat from Original vs. Final (mine) Look, I love all my OvF-characters and every single one of them is special to me in their own way, but Judy is just … the most complex of them all I think? Man, she went through so much … she is actually one of my oldest (semi)-active characters (I created her in 2009) and her latest version is from 2016 but I should really, REALLY revise her again tbh. She has a very complicated backstory that I didn’t handle as carefully as I should have, and anger issues and religious conflict and depression and PTSD and then Vance of all people becomes obsessed with her for no reason and decides to traumatize her even more … yeah. God I really love her but I seriously need to work on her. A LOT. I should also finally rename her tbh … let’s just see where she takes me next.

1.) Okami (I don’t even remember if she has a proper last name rn lol) from Split Realm (mine) Yeah, that bitch is just my favourite OC. She’s also very old, probably from around 2009, and initially was a magical girl with fire powers who I played in an RP with my friend Flauch but boy did she grow up! Holy fuck. Okami is a horrible person but I love her so much. She is so violent and full of anger and pain and sadness and treats everyone around her like shit and she is in love and she is a demon but also apparently the personification of the concept of Chaos but she just wants to be a teenager again and run away with the love of her life and ahhh it’s all so hopeless for her … also she turned out gnc af with time passing and pretty much went through a gender/sexuality crisis in real time with me, her creator, which is always fun. :^D I haven’t drawn her in a while tbh. Should really do that.

- - - - -

RUNES IN BLANK RUNE

I’m just gonna go with the arcs here, okay? Also this entire answer might look completely different if you asked me again tomorrow, you know how indecisive I am with Blank Rune shit ahha,,,

5.) Jera Look. I know I’m boring and stupid. But I just love Tave and Liam having their disgusting little foreshadowing talk, okay? I can read it over and over. I just love my horrible little shit crime boys. Also Rhy and Phillip are there. (’:

4.) Isa This one is here because it was the first arc I witnessed in real time which gives it a very special place in my heart and it also … hit pretty hard at the time. But having read Fehu it’s become even better now! It’s just such a wonderful, tragic romance between two horrible, ruthless boys and I … I’m not immune to Rhy, sadly. :-/ Just like Phillip.

3.) Wunjo We still haven’t seen everything that leads up to Wunjo yet, but we DO know more than we did initially (wow shocker) and it’s just always a fucking blast. Also, it has the first mention of Ash’s real name … the first Rhy POV (which what the fuck!! I always feel like we had one before but we didn’t!! Wild) and it has crazy blood-soaked murder Tave, my beloved. :///3

2.) Eiwaz You guys have heard me fanboy about Eiwaz so many times already. Eiwaz-OT3 (and Kain) my beloved!!! It’s just SUCH an amazing starting point and there are so, so many things that tie back to it and every time we find out about a new one my heart makes a little jump … und es beginnt von Neuem indeed.

1.) Gebo One of the most painful but also the most beautiful arcs yet in my opinion. It’s been hyped up for so long and boy did it deliver. God, my heart still hurts when I think about that last scene. Also all the dialogue … the golden lines we got … and it’s an arc without Rhy! Crazy!! :-D I just love the relationship between Ash, Astrid and Jakob so much. God fuck I want what they have. Just maybe without the murder suicide,,,

- - - - -

FOOD

5.) Diese Sonntagsbrötchen wo die Verpackung so plopp macht, wenn man die Folie abzieht Better than normale Brötchen for some reason. Most of the time. See 2.) Look man, I just really love a good breakfast …

4.) Chocolate cupcakes with cream cheese topping One of the first things from a certain baking book I tried when I was getting into baking back in 2019. God they are so tasty. I don’t make them often so I don’t get used to them too much and eating them still feels special but ahhhh I love them so much!

3.) Grünkohl mit Kartoffelbrei und Mettendchen One of my favourite things about autumn/winter and one of my biggest comfort foods. God I love this shit so much. I just put … mountains of Grünkohl and Kartoffelbrei on my plate every time and I will just warm it up for four days straight until there’s no more left. It turns me into a fucking caveman. I’m not even big on eating meat but … yeah. Everything is different when there’s Grünkohl.

2.) Normales Brötchen mit Butter und Scheibenkäse aber ich bin beim Frühstücksbuffet im Hotel Oddly specific but that’s just how it is. Sorry. Nichts geht über Brötchen mit Käse.

1.) Chilli-Knoblauch-Nudelauflauf My beloved. My comfort food. I eat it literally every second day. At least one hour in the kitchen every time. Fresh ingredients. My only vegetable intake. And I’ve been doing that for three years. I just love it so much, man. I cook it for everyone who visits me. Chilli-Knoblauch-Auflauf cured my depression.

#ask #crimsondaisy #2.4k works of me talking about myself under the cut rip #thank you tho!!!

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novelistash · 3 years

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Life Simulators

Tinkering with life simulators are a guilty pleasure for me. The chaos of procedurally generated lives keep me far too interested. My mind fills in the blanks creating the story of these rich lives. It kind of goes against what I was talking about yesterday, but I think I said it was an issue up for debate? Well, if I didn't, you can basically say that about everything. Newtonian Physics was the only way to view the Universe until it wasn't after all.

Anyway, I'm going to drop the life of Alexandra Miller, a character who was able to live most of her life with perfect stats. Is this for posterity or just for me to keep a semi-obsessive record? Also this might be in multiple parts. Hmm, maybe I should turn this into an exercise.

Born in Sydney, Australia, my parents conceived me on a nude beach. Cate Miller, my mother, never knew who my father was, and never cared to find out. She was a 40 year old history teacher. She quickly found and married Samuel Hornsby, a 33 year-old army enlistee with a son, Kobe.

Alexandra (Lex) had trouble getting along with her new family at first. Samuel didn't want to take 3 year old Lex to the zoo when she asked, and she got into a fight with Kobe where she got so mad that she licked him on the forehead.

To help Lex feel welcome, Cate got her daughter a boxer named Baxter! Lex was very serious about taking care of Baxter, giving him baths at the age of 4 and feeding peas for treats. Her family warmed up to her, with Kobe talking to Lex about how scary the toilet was and Samuel discussing Lex's imaginary friend.

When Lex started school, she was anxious about the other kids. Some of them didn't seem to like her. In particular Ariana was always giving Lex the stink eye. Lex tried to be her friend. Ariana responded by telling Lex to jump off and calling her a sausage shark! Lex gave up on trying to make peace with Ariana and instead tried to be nice to everyone in class, showering them with compliments. She became friends with Ayla, the first girl to talk to her, as well as the smart cookie Clive. Lex cared so much about her grades in Kindergarten that she studied until her eyes were sore.

At the age of 6 Lex went to Pompei with her family and starting taking piano lessons. She learned to enjoy reading, finishing Corduroy and Stellaluna by herself.

At age 7, Lex became friends with revolutionary Archie and stylish Eleanor. One of her fondish memories of her father Samuel happened this year, when he took her sky diving! Afterwards, he gave her a compass that had been in his family for three generations. Whenever Lex was lost, she could look at the compass and know where to go.

When I turned 8, Lex's step brother Kobe became a cadet for the Sydney Police Department and moved out of the house. Continuing this theme of people leaving her, Baxter ran away from home. With compass in hand, Lex looking for her dog and found him hiding in a bush! They ate lemons together and hated it. In addition to piano lessons, Lex started taking taekwondo and voice lessons and dreamed of becoming a pop star.

An avid reader and compulsive studier, Lex was having trouble with her eyes at age 9, but the optometrist said she wouldn't need glasses if she just studied in the light. When she got a yellow belt, she learned how to perform the eagle strike in taekwondo.

Lex was content that some people would never like her, but those that showed her kindness, she'd always go out of her way to talk to them. She felt extremely luck to have so many amazing people in her life.

Kobe became a Patrolman, but Lex's 11th year would be anything but safe. Lex fell out of bed and hurt her jugular. She was bed ridden for 5 days. Baxter got in a street fight with another dog and died. Ayla helped Lex get over losing her dog and the two became best friends.

Sixth grade was the year of the great Disney movie debate, where Lex's entire class argued about which was the best Disney movie. Clive wanted to sneak into a neighbor's house to get a box of Reese's Puffs, but Lex stopped him from taking a suspicious risk. Lex was finally old enough to go to the library by herself and she started going there every week.

At the start of secondary school, Lex joined the school's orchestra! She did 26 hours of babysitting for a neighbor. She tried out for water polo but had too much trouble breathing to focus on the ball at the same time. She started going to the local gym and focus on breath control. Lex found that diving helped her get better and ended up joining the diving team instead. She started working with her mother on the garden. Her mother Cate said that the garden always reminded her of Lex.

Lex will always remember the day before her fourteenth birthday, because she met a boy from another school, Chase Edwards. After spending some time together, Chase asked to kiss her and she gave him her first kiss. When she felt him opening his lips she pulled back and decided not to spend any more time with him. A few months later, Lex went to a party with Ayla. Ayla spun the bottle and it landed on Lex. Ayla seemed like she wasn't sure if she was ready to kiss a boy, so Lex went into the closet with her. Once they were inside, Lex realized that she wanted to kiss Ayla, but didn't have the courage to try anything. Their seven minutes in heaven turned into seven minutes that were very much on Earth. Lex vowed to not live life in fear and focused on her taekwondo, earning her blue belt. While at the gym training for dive, she was asked out by Connor Robinson, and agreed to date him. Lex did work as a babysitter and lawn mower, and used that money to pay for her first mani-pedi. She joined instagram just to show off her nails. She was meditating a lot on the nature of the world and joined her school's recycling club. If all of that wasn't enough, she started taking guitar lessons.

Lex and her acne ridden boyfriend, Connor, snuck into Lex's attic, and found her mom's camcorder. There wasn't anything interesting. Lex became her orchestra's section leader and her mom, Cate, gave her a BMW after acing her driving test. Feeling like an adult, 15 year old Lex decided to go on birth control, and her mom had no objections. Ayla joined the art club, and Lex partied with her and her friends. She realized that she still had feelings for Ayla, but Ayla confessed that she was into one of her club mates and so Lex decided not to act on her feelings and stay with Connor. Ayla got a boyfriend and Lex felt like she was ready to commit to Connor.

Her sixteenth birthday was an emotional high point for Lex, and she felt like she was happy for no real reason. She became concertmaster of her school's orchestra. Everything was going great and she decided that she wanted to take things to the next level with Connor. Connor wasn't interested in sex before marriage, so she broke up with him. Her friend, Clive, helped her get over the break up by getting mani-pedis with her and they became best friends. Ayla had recently become single and so against Clive's advice, Lex decided to ask Ayla out on a date. Ayla rejected her, but said that she was willing to still be friends. Lex wasn't over her but gave up after her attempts at flirting continued to go nowhere. Lex's tutoring gig let her work with grown men from college. Clive thought one client was a pimp.

Kobe became a Corporal, Lex became dive team captain, and the family had a big party to celebrate. Lex told all of her friends that she was pansexual and everyone was more interested in going to the movies.

Lex decided to study biology at university. She met Charlie Edgecliff at the gym and asked him out. On their first date Charlie took her yodeling. After going to the movies, Lex gave her virginity to him. Lex joined the university's orchestra and swim team. For Charlie's 20th birthday, Lex took him cliff diving. They had a serious talk about cloning and decided that it would be cheating to hook up with a clone of your partner.

Lex's ex boyfriend Connor went to Lex's 19th birthday party and tried to get back together with her. Lex told him off without needing to use her brown belt in taekwondo. Between swim team, uni, and hooking up with Charlie, Lex was not only busy, but happy.

Lex became the section leader in her orchestra and somehow found time to do tutoring to pay for the many dates she went on with Charlie. She wanted to look her best for him and got Brazilians and laid on the tanning bed. She loved her body and her boyfriend, but one day at the tanning bed, she got out and threw up all over the floor. When she went to the doctor, they told her she had skin cancer. Lex had maybe five years to live. Lex couldn't accept that, she needed to try other options. When Lex talked to Connor about going to see a witch doctor, he laughed at her. She broke up with him and saw a spiritualist from Mexico. The woman told Lex to eat chihuahua hair as part of a ritual. Lex did and her cancer was miraculously gone! The 20 year old Lex had a new lease on life and she wasn't about to spend that life being single. She met the buff Kylie Mills, and dated her. Within a week they were not only girlfriends, but they were talking about moving in together.

At the age of 21, Lex took her girlfriend Kylie to Kobe's marriage. Sergeant Kobe had married a school teacher, Kiara. At the reception, Lex's old friend Archie joked with her about how weird it was that he was dating one of his mom's coworkers, even if she was only 34. Lex liked Archie's dark humor and the two became best friends. Lex kept tutoring, swimming, playing, studying, and dating. She climbed up onto a try with Kylie and school children taunted them to kiss. They made out while the sun set.

The love of Lex's life, Kylie, graduated and became a Pilot Trainee for Salls Air. Kobe and Kiara divorced after having only been together for thirteen months. Six months later, Kobe was a father to a little girl named Kylie. After graduation, 22 year old Lex got a job as a Jr. Environmental Scientist at Pacific Consulting.

Not hindered by his divorce, Kobe got promoted to Inspector. 23 year old Lex, put everything she had into her job, working more and more overtime. She was determined to buy her own place and marry the woman she loved. Things wouldn't be the same as Kobe.

Kobe had another daughter, a girl named Hazel. No one really talked about who the mother was, but they were proud of him for taking her into his family. Lex's research discovered that used condoms were threatening the lives of duck billed platypus, so she engineered a biodegradable condom. This got her a promotion at work. Feeling like she could do anything, the 24 year old Lex read War and Peace. She purchased a ring of alexandrite and proposed to Kylie. She said "yes." They were going to get married!

At Cate's retirement party, Lex realized she'd been with Kylie for 5 years! Thought the two were madly in love, Kylie's financials were in doubt. She had a lot of debt and her job wasn't even covering her student loans. At Lex's mom's retirement part, she learned that Cate was actually independently wealthy, owning some 3 million dollars in stocks and bonds. Lex's brother was the one who brought this up, because he was pretty sure the two of them were going to get a million dollars each. He told Lex to look out for Kylie, because she could divorce her and take hundreds of thousands from her. Lex knew in her heart that she could trust Kylie, but when she saw a male proustite on the street, she found herself tempted. Maybe their relationship wasn't perfect. The still Jr. Engineer, Lex, asked her boss for a promotion, but despite having come up with a new condom, she was denied.

For Lex's 26th birthday, she went to Comic Con with her coworker Bella and her friend Eleanor. Eleanor became her best friend. Lex worked while sick with the common cold and got a raise. She applied for a mortgage and bought a town home on Evans Manor. Her mom had to help her pay for the place, because Kylie's financials were all tied up in her debt.

After celebrating Lex's niece Kylie's birthday, her fiance, Kylie wanted to get married. Lex was still house poor and asked her parents to pay for the wedding. They agreed. They were going to be wed within the year. Lex had a short battle with athlete's foot. She was really starting to think of her own mortality and the mortality of her mother. After going paintballing with her step father, Lex decided that Kylie needed to sign a prenup. When Kylie refused, Lex made her promise to wait to get married until Kylie could stand on her own two feet. Kylie wasn't happy and the two stopped having sex. Lex begged Kylie to go to couples counseling, but Kylie wouldn't try. It was then that Lex knew she needed to end things with her fiance. The 27 year old Lex cut down on her hours at work and decided to focus on herself. She had a one night stand with Archie Irvine and realized that it wasn't for her. She wanted something long term and went online to date Ariana Evans. Their first date was a parkour exercise. And even though things went well, Lex wasn't ready to start getting physical with Ariana. Ariana told Lex that she was willing to take things slow.

After giving her all to a company that didn't seem to appreciate her and a fiance that wanted everything, it was only after Lex stopped caring that things finally started to change. At age 28, Lex was finally promoted to Environmental Scientist. Ariana took Lex for a photoshoot to celebrate and the two finally got physical. It was then that Ariana admitted to Lex that she didn't need to work. She was independently wealthy, being worth nearly 5 million dollars from her family's wealth. Lex threw a party at her house and Ariana was content to live separately.

Lex was falling for Ariana, but she didn't want her to think she was after her fortune. She asked her mother to pay for the wedding, and Cate agreed. Lex bought a $500 platinum ring and proposed to the millionaire, Ariana. Lex took Ariana to a football game and proposed on screen. Ariana said "yes!"

At the age of 30, Lex finally married Ariana. There was only one catch, a prenup. Lex laughed and agreed to the prenup, explaining that her mom was also wealthy. When the time came to go on a honeymoon, the two women realized they'd rather just stay local and be with friends and family. Lex took Ariana's last name, becoming Alexandra Evans.

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certainglitterhologram · 4 years

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The Thomas-Finnigan Kids. Part 2

(Since you all loved it so much, here is a part two! Let me know if you want a part three.)

Finn came out to his family, as gay, about a week before Pride Month, and about a week before school ended. He still needed to tell his friends at school, but he’s in no hurry. I mean, that’s scary as it is, but his circle of friends also included Wyatt. The whole reason Finn found out he was gay. How the fuck was Finn going to explain that to Wyatt?

He wanted to go to his dads for advice, but quickly thought better of it. After all, they are his parents and would probably tease him mercilessly. Seamus has the maturity of a two year old, and Dean was rather indesicive. Finn decided to go to Mikayla. With any other sibling pair, it would have been the opposite, where Finn tells his parents, but Mika was different. Mika was smart. She was calm and quiet. Observant, too. She knew when to judge and not to judge, although she could be silently judging you the whole time, and no one would know, as she has a talent for lying and keeping her face emotionless. She was great for when you needed a non-biased opinion. The definition of a Wallflower.

Mika and Finn decided that it would be best to tell his friends that he was gay, and then explain that he realized because of his interest in Wyatt. Mika repeatedly told him “Don’t make it weird. It’s only weird if you make it weird”.

Mika also told Finn, to be calm, (which was way easier said than done, in Finn’s mind), and not be nervous, because that makes other people nervous, and lastly, to not put any pressure on Wyatt so he feels obligated to politely reject him. If anything, the objective was to have Wyatt be inclined to rudely reject him, and Finn would not care. Except that he would. But that was something that couldn’t be changed.

Nerves wracking, on Platform 9 and 3/4, Finn said goodbye to Dean and Seamus, and climbed aboard the Hogwarts Express, with Mika just behind him. They said their goodbyes, Mika needing to find her best friend, Charlotte Raineer. Then, Mika did something she hadn’t done in way too long for their parents liking: She hugged Finn. It was an awkward, quick hug, around the middle, because that was as far as she could reach, being 5′1 and Finn being 6′2, that caused Finn to drop his book and wand, but it was a hug from his little Kayla, all the same.

Finn sat his friends down, and told them the two, anxiety stimulating words:

“I’m gay.”

There was a mixed reaction from the group. Zayden Smith, he had looked Finn in disgust, grabbed his wand, and walked off, with his nose in the air. Finn had pretty much expected this reaction from Zayden. He could be pretty bitchy at times. But the three other boys that were still there hugged him close, saying that, it was fine. they didn’t care, and they would always be there for him. Then, Finn realized that Wyatt wasn’t there. He made a note to himself, to find Wyatt after the feast and tell him the news in the Ravenclaw common room, after everyone had gone to bed.

Finn had swallowed his nerves, and blurted everything out. Surprisingly, Wyatt was okay with it.

“Dude. You know i’m bi...” Wyatt laughed.

Finn looked at him blankly. “uh...no. did i miss that....”

Wyatt laughed again then stopped abruptly. “Shit. “ he said meekly. “i forgot to tell you. I knew i forgot someone! I am so sorry!”

Finn laughed and moved closer to Wyatt, a surge of confidence coming over him. Wyatt grabbed Finn’s chin, placing their lips together, and Finn knew: this was right.

Mikayla, now that she was a third year, felt like trying out for quidditch. But she wasn’t sure. Yes, she knew she had a talent, but man, it didn’t feel like it. A surge of love for her dads shot through her, and, on a whim, she wrote to them, asking what to do. She got the following letter back:

To my Mika,

Hello, sweetie!! I am so glad you are considering trying out for the Slytherin Quidditch team. You have a talent, and you should use it. You’re small, and light, with a great head on top of those shoulders. The perfect seeker. You should definitely try out! All those years Dad Shay spent with you perfecting your skills could be put to good use! Please do it, Mi-kay-kay! Even if you don’t get in, we will still be proud you tried! Stay out of trouble!

I love you,

Dad Dean

P.S Mikayla Gwyneth Thomas-Finnigan! Please put all those years of hard work, sweat and blood to good use! if you make the team, i’ll by you 5 pounds of Honeydukes Chocolate! And if you don’t I’ll still buy you 5 pounds of Honeydukes Chocolate. That’s 85 bars of chocolate! It’s a win-win!

-Dad Seamus

Dad Dean’s words inspired Mikayla and she did want those 5 pounds of chocolate.. but she still wasn’t sure. In the hallway to Potions, she was telling Charlotte about it, and Charlotte, being as supportive as she is, was thrilled when she heard Mika was trying out, to say the least. Unfortunately for Mika, Cameron McLaggen heard this conversation and said

“Your so tiny, I doubt the broom would even recognize you’re on it, let alone take off. If you can catch the snitch, in the tryouts, I’d give you thirty galleons.!”

Mika stomped up Cameron, shook his his hand and said “You’re on.” Before stalking over to Charlotte.

“I’LL BE THERE WATCHING!!” yelled Cameron.

“What have I done....” Muttered Mika to Charlotte.

Tryouts, in Mika’s mind, was full of doubts, not only from her head, but from other players saying “But she’s so tiny! What if she falls!” etc. But, what do you know? She makes it in. Captain Alexander Pucey, always sees the best in everyone. And he saw the potential in Mika. So, he welcomed her to the team.

The first thing Mika did after tryouts? (not counting Charlotte’s vigorous hugs, of course!). She flew over to the Quidditch stands, where Cameron was sitting with his mates.

“Pay up, McLaggen. “ She said. “I caught the snitch, and made it onto the Quidditch team.”

A grumbling Cameron McLaggen gave her thirty galleons and scurried off. And a thrilled Mikayla tugged a equally as excited Charlotte to the owlery! She had a letter to send!

Finn and Wyatt had been dating for a few months, until a fateful day, where Wyatt walks into the Charms classroom to see Finn snogging a Gryffindor 7th Year, Rosalina Vane-Hugdens. Of course, he’s shocked, and offended.

As it turns out, Finn was slipped a really expensive Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes love potion, one that the Weasley Twins concocted to force real attraction, rather than just obsession. Naturally, they are very dangerous, and hard to make, hence why they are expensive. But it’s said to stop after the person’s “true love” is seen.

Finn had just realized this for himself, turned Rosalina in to Headmistress McGonagall, and went to apologize to Wyatt. But Wyatt wasn’t having it. Over the next 2 weeks, Finn didn’t eat, sleep and his grades were dangerously slipping. Professor Flitwick told him to step it up, and Finn tried, he really did. But he just couldn’t.

Finally, after 2 and a half weeks of trying to get Wyatt’s attention, Wyatt gave Finn two minutes to explain himself. Finn did as best as he could, though his persuasion techniques weren’t as good as Mika’s.

After Finn’s explanation, all Finn got was “Okay.” Before Wyatt quickly grabbed his satchel and walked away. Finn ran after him asking if he was forgiven.

“No,” Wyatt had said. “I wouldn’t have accepted anything from Rosalina. You told me yourself that one of your dad’s friends got a box of chocolates spiked with a love potion from that damn girl’s mother. How do I remember this and you don’t? i’m not sure. Accepting it is one thing, but eating it? Not to mention, if you really loved me, you probably wouldn’t be affected by it. It just proved, that we aren’t supposed to be together. Bye, Finn. I’m sure I’ll see you around, and speak with you, but do note that it won’t be a pleasant conversation. “

That was all it took, for Finn’s world to shatter into pieces..

Mika and Charlotte were throwing a joint birthday party, since their birthday’s were May 17th and June 22nd respectively. They invited every Slytherin from 3rd-7th Year. They had a blast, and everything was going well, everyone was safe, although there was alchohol, but a limited amount.

Some sixth year girl, clearly tipsy, makes her way over to Mika and gives her a pack of cigarettes. The girl says nothing else and walks off. Mika took one out, grabbed her wand, went outside and lit it. She inhaled and choked. She smoked it, for a bit longer, enjoying it, but something in her stopped, and she threw the cigarette on the ground, trampling, and jumping up and down on it. Mika resolved to never use these again.

But a few days after the party, she found herself by the Black Lake, in a secluded area, smoking the whole pack. Whaddo ya know? Once you get used to it, it’s not so bad. At least once a week from then one, Mika takes an hour to sit on the shore of the Black Lake, with a new pack of cigarettes from that sixth grade girl.

Dean and Seamus hadn’t heard from their kids in a long while. Naturally they were worried.

The Thomas-Finnigans, not okay at all.

#harry potter #deamus #headcanons #original work #oc #gay #lgbtq #lgbtq+#breakups #happy pride 🌈#not okay #its all downhill from here

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dreamonminecraft · 4 years

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oh yes, tell me more about this beautiful lesbian slowburn. I’m a sucker for a good love story

Okay so to start off, My sexuality fluctuates greatly throughout this story, but as of now I identify as a Bisexual lithsexual lesbian, which means that I am attracted to lots of people but lose attraction when the feelings are reciprocated, and I'll only date girls.

The story starts off August of 2018. I was starting 6th grade (middle school) and didn't really have any friends aside from a few people that I had last talked to in 3rd grade.

It's important to know that I'm a GT kid and so I almost always have the same group of about 20 kids. This started when I changed to an all GT class for 4th grade.

While it's nice to have a comfortable learning environment, it also means that there's no escape from any drama, and you get to pick friends from the very small pool of kids that you'll spend the rest of your education with.

This is a pretty long story as well and I'm not sure I'll be able to accurately retell many of the things because dates get mixed up and stuff. Anyway, I'm gonna try my best to explain but these are really only the things from my point of view and I don't remember a lot of the things. (This is also gonna be written like a fanfic because that's all I know how to write, I apologise)

So start of sixth grade, I don't really have any friends, I'm kind of this awkward nerd, there's 2 people in my class (we switch classes like normal middle school, but I'm with the GT kids for most of the day so that's what I'll refer to them as) that I've known for years, a few I've met before, but mostly new people.

I sit by some old friends from volleyball at lunch for the first few days but begin to feel unwelcome. One day I decide to sit by these two people that I know are in GT but haven't talked to before. I don't say anything, but I sit and they don't mind.

The next day we get new seats in English. I'm behind a boy named Owen, Inara, who is one of the girls I sat with at lunch, is to my right, and in front of her is a girl named Emilyse.

Inara and I hit it off immediately.

It's kind of crazy because we're both crazy anxious introverts, but we gel nicely. I'm a boyband-obsessed 11 year old and she's a mature and mysterious 11 year old.

She's a lefty. I'm a righty. The way we've been placed makes us bump arms everytime we try to write anything.

We have every class together. Somehow, we sit next to each other in every class as well, even in the ones where we didn't pick our seating chart.

It's September. I cry over boybands. She watches curiously.

For the next couple of months we casually talk. She spends every lunch period in the library. We text occasionally.

I have another friend who takes priority. His name is Logan. We got introduced by his friend Lennox when she asked for my phone number to give to him.

Lennox and I don't talk. Logan and I text nonstop for months. We discuss possibly dating in the future. I identify as bisexual and biromantic at this point.

I've been in this position before. Having mainly guy friends growing up puts me in a lot of awkward friendship/relationship situations. They always end the same.

I have an issue with dating in middle school. You're not dating if you don't go on dates, hold hands, kiss, or cuddle. But you can feel like you are.

In December Logan starts being mean. We start a game where we step on each other's shoes at lunch or in the hallway. It's fun.

Eventually, he recruits his friends to do it to me, too. It's a joke a first, but eventually there are 10 middle school boys chasing me and trying to hurt me.

I get kicked in the hallway and fall. Someone steps on my arm and people laugh. Logan watches. I tell Inara and she steps on his shoe for me.

Logan and I stop talking. Inara and I hang out more. By early January, Inara has stopped going to the library at lunch. We hang out with Emilyse in the field instead.

I text Logan one day in mid January and ask why we fell out. He says that I told someone that I was going to punch him in the face.

The person he said I told, only talked to me at the bus stop, and he didn't ride my bus. I had never said it in the first place, but his logic made it even more frustrating.

I tell him I got scared because I had a crush on him and didn't want to make things weird. It was a lie.

In February I came out to someone for the first time. They asked if I was bi and I said yes.

By March I had accepted that coming out didn't really make a difference. Inara and I hung out at school but not really anywhere else.

My birthday's in April. I invite her, Emilyse, and Rebekah. We paint rocks and draw on a table cloth. Emilyse feels distant.

Emilyse is homophobic. We find out in English one day. I don't remember how. Inara and I look at each other. We know we're both queer but haven't come out to each other.

I ask Emilyse if she would hate someone in GT for coming out. She says yes. Inara and I stop talking to her.

By May I've become obsessed with Marvel. Inara's interested in it and I decide to be, too. We talk about the movies. It gets awkward. She's not as interested when I get in on it.

By June we're best friends. We hang out fairly regularly, have all our classes together, and text all the time. Logan is forgotten.

School lets out at the start of June. We keep texting regularly. We make plans to see the new spiderman movie in early July with one of our other friends.

I have a complicated relationship with said friend. They're non-binary, although I didn't know it yet, and I've known them since Kindergarten. Inara met them in an advisory this year. I get jealous easily.

The day of the movie I shop at Kohl's. I buy the two of us matching shirts. We meet at the movie theater and it's awkward. I pay for popcorn and sneak in snacks that we share. Our friend's dad is there, but Inara and I don't have parents present.

We sit next to each other during the movie. At a certain scene, I start to get anxious. My stomach hurts and I can't breathe, I start to get sweaty.

I get up and rush out of the theater. I get to the women's bathroom and sit down on the floor of the very last stall. I'm panicing, dry heaving into the toilet, and trying not to cry. I try to text my mom that I'm having a panic attack but don't have reception.

I go back into the theater room after a few minutes. I'm still anxious, but better. Our friend is highly concerned, Inara just glances at me worriedly.

It's my first panic attack, and it sucked.

We leave awkwardly after it ends, trying to avoid the obvious elephant in the room. My mom is concerned when she picks me up. We don't talk about it. My dad and brother are watching it illegally when I get home.

We don't see each other until August of 2019, but continue to text through the rest of the summer.

When 7th grade starts, I'm still into Marvel. I've seen all the movies at this point, but there haven't been any new ones (even now) since FFH. Inara's interested, but not fully.

In late August/Early September we take BuzzFeed quizzes for fun and text each other the results. I take one about soulmates. I get her initials. I send her the link. She gets mine.

We take more and they all point to us being soulmates. We propose by sending pictures of rings over text. The wedding date is set for September 28th, 2019.

The time comes. It's Saturday and my brother has a double football game. We've planned to pick her up and take her there. It's a Christian league, so the games are at a church.

We go to the garden. There's a small white bench in some rocks, surrounded by flowers. We joke that we've had our ceremony. We wander around for a while longer.

My dad suggests that we go to the taco bell across the parking lot. We do. When we're done, we walk back to my house. Its not far, but we're alone. I carry her halfway back.

When we get to my house we pick things from my garden. We're barefoot and I'm wearing overalls. I joke that we're gonna get a farm one day when we're older.

She picks things while I stand back and watch. The sun hits her dyed-red hair just right. I vividly remember smiling at thinking "holy fuck she's pretty" you would think I'd put together my crush by then.

October rolls around and she cancels plans to go trick-or-treating with me. I'm upset but understand.

We "work" on a school project at her house. We don't actually get anything done before cuddling up on her bed and falling asleep to black panther.

In November, it's Emilyse's birthday party. We've gotten distant but still talk occasionally. Inara and I both go to the party.

We're watching Spiderman Far From Home because that's what Emilyse wanted. I've seen in twice, Ianra has too.

We're given candy and popcorn and then curl up on the couch. Inara and I sit next to each other.

(I forgot to mention this but at some point she stayed the night at my house. She slept on the floor in her swimming suit even though I asked if she wanted to sleep on the bed. Swimming was fun though. We also go to an arcade. We mini-golf and play laser tag. We also danced in the rain together at some point that day.)

Once we're no more than 15 minutes into the movie, I'm cuddled into her chest. It's important to mention that at this point I'm 5'6 and she's no more than 5'0.

We cuddle the entire movie. We share candy and pretend no one else is there. It feels great.

We don't talk about that night for months. Nobody brings it up. I come out to Rebekah around this time, saying no more than that I like girls. I still haven't told Inara.

By December, I've brought her to church a few times. I don't enjoy going to church, but my parents always encouraged it.

(I'd like to say at this point as well that I have been raised Christian and identify with the faith despite the fact that I despise Church and disagree with many of the common teachings. If I ever had to choose for some reason, my sexuality matters more to me than my religion. Regardless, I respect your beliefs if they differ from mine :) )

Inara's birthday is in mid December. Her party consists of us making gay jokes with our enby friend despite not being technically out to each other.

My church youth group plans ice skating. I invite her and she accepts. I'm worried about it. It's essentially a date. Neither of our parents will be there.

We carpool with the youth leaders, who are actually pretty cute for a hetero couple. Inara and I share awkward glances the whole time.

When we get there I learn that Inara took ice skating lessons as a child. She's much more confident than I am, but pretends she doesn't know what she's doing. I skate about once or twice a season, but also rollerblade.

There's a wet, sloped, melty part of the rink. I get nervous and grab her hand. She holds it until we're out of the melted ice.

Every lap around I grab her hand at that point. Eventually, we just keep holding hands for an entire lap.

By the end of the night, we've both fallen a few times but held hands the whole time. We drop her off and I say goodnight.

That night, I rant about the adventure to one of my (ex)friends, who excitedly listens to my talk about holding hands with a girl.

There's a GT Christmas party at Hannah's. Inara and I carpool there. It's an all together boring party with the exception of a few interesting truth-or-dare questions.

(side note, remember Owen? Well he's one of Inara and I's best friends and we were actually close enough that the three of us were basically cuddling on the couch during part of the party. Also the whole class knows about Inara and I's wedding and calls us wives.)

Paislie asks me if I wanted to "marry" Inara before we got "married". I mumble an answer that nobody hears. I don't repeat it. When it's time to leave, Inara and I have our legs intertwined on the couch. We don't mention that, either. We drop her off and I say goodnight.

January is good. There's a night, the 4th I believe, that we really connect. We officially come out to each other for the first time on that night, and it gets really real, really fast.

She says she's pan, I say I'm bi but confused.

In mid January she texts me that she's crying because one of her favorite YouTubers finally hit a million. She cries for hours but never tells me who. I pay it no mind.

A few days later, she mentions a YouTube channel called Unus Annus and tells me that it's super interesting. I text back but don't look it up.

A few more days pass and I'm randomly on the trending page for YouTube, which I never do. I see a video trending called "Mark and Ethan go casket shopping". The thumbnail is interesting enough that I check what the channel is. I notice it's the one Inara told me about.

I watch the video and subscribe within 5 minutes. I text Inara quotes from that video, Ethan Finally Becomes a Man, and the Lie Detector test videos, until she responds and is surprised that I found the channel.

I obsess quickly and depend on her to know the new video at 1pm everyday. She gets annoyed and we drift apart slowly.

In February things get rocky. We fight often. If I win a small argument she doesn't talk to me for hours. She gets pissed at refuses to tell me what the Unus Annus video is called if I ask too many times.

At some point I get fed up and confront her. I don't remember what about, but we stop talking all together.

Friends pick sides. I'm left alone. We don't talk for a month. She tells me that she pushed me away because she thought I'd react badly to her telling me she loves me.

I confess my crush. She tells me she feels the same.

We finally make up at about 8:30 on a Sunday night in March. It's not fixed but we plan to talk. And 9:00, the school district announces that it's shutting down until least after spring break.

We stopped trying to communicate, but eventually, slowly we started talking again. We text a few times a day now, mostly about UA and anxiety, the best combo.

We haven't seen each other since. We're probably going back to school in person in about a month, but I'm not sure. Nobody is.

I've called her my girlfriend on here before, simply because I don't know what we are. I joked the other day about how the youth leaders would react if I said I was texting my girlfriend.

Here's how that went:

So we're just jokingly married for now! It's a confusing pile of garbage but we both came out as lesbians the other day so that's a new development.

I don't know if any of that makes sense but I'll answer any questions anybody has :)

#asks #elle has girlfriend issues #unus annus #crankgameplays #markiplier #yes the guy who hit a million was ethan #thank you kait #im sorry this is so long #lesbian #wlw post #wlw culture #LGBTQ

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fisheoctrashdump · 4 years

Text

Hnmp pet list

Gen1

Chocolate Chip (Chippy) - bleblesscra cat that Blez brought in secretly at first, but Jess found Chippy chilling in the bathroom. Chippy is very affectionate and clingy. She's brown and white. Her favorite people are Jess, Blez, and Kaya (which is funny cause Kaya hates furry animals)

Kira 2.0 - Logan's dog he adopted after his first one died (also named Kira). She's a hyper german shepherd, and is super attached to Logan. She thinks she's a lap dog.

Kaneki - Michael's blue maine coon. He named him Kaneki after the protag in tokyo ghoul. Notorious food thief.

Robin - a mischievous and playful fox. His name was something Michael suggested. He's very fond of Avery, to the point where Zenn jokes that Robin might as well be Avery's pet.

Rigby - the Celieday raccoon. He's an asshole to everyone but Celieday. He can be pretty destructive at times, as well as a food thief. His favorites are strawberries and cheez its

Ligma - jase's egyptian mau mix. He thought it would be funny at the time to name her that. She avoids Jase and Zeon, and sometimes will destroy or pee on their things. She is very fond of Kael, Blee, and Sacra. Ligma can seem to sense when Jase really needs the comfort, tho, because she will climb all over him when he's sad

Vernon - Adrien's crested gecko. Alora and Adrien Jr picked out his name. Vernon doesn't have much of a personality, he's just vibing

Gen2

Lars - the fluffy grey and white cat Grant adopted shortly after moving out of his sister's house. Grant named him Lars bc of his metallica obsession. Lars is unpredictable. He can be very sweet sometimes, then very mean at other times. He seems to dislike Damon the most, and other than Grant, his favorite people are Jase, Venus, and then later on Devon.

Nightmare - Arvid's tarantula he got in sixth grade. Scarlette and Sebastian call Nightmare "Pudding" because Arvid hates when they do that. Arvid says that his name is Nightmare because he will live inside other people's nightmares once they take over the world, but he actually initially called him that because Arvid suffered from frequent nightmares at the time and he hoped Nightmare's presence would help fight them off.

Shelby - Arianna's dog. She originally wanted to adopt a cat, but none of the cats at the shelter really stood out to her. When she looked at the dogs, Shelby did stand out to her. She doesn't really know why. Shelby is a german shepherd boxer lab mix. He's super loveable and protective over Arianna, but he also stays by Sacra's side a lot too.

Lola - Casey's german sheprador he adopted after moving into his own place. She's his emotional support animal, and helps keep Casey calm.

Pink Lemonade - Harrison's little white mouse. He originally got her to impress Venus after Galatea convinced him Venus liked mice. He was going to get rid of Lemonade when he found out Venus didn't actually like mice, but Kat convinced him to keep her and they both take care of Lemonade together

Lucky - Blezbian's black cat. She found her injured in the street, and she and Michael took her to the vet. She hadn't been chipped, and she wanted to adopt her. Michael agreed to let her. Blezbian called her Lucky ironically at first, but it stuck. She's very sweet but hates being picked up.

Roe - Cyra's corn snake. He's mostly just vibing but he's also an escape artist. Roe loves to chill on Cyra's head. She doesn't get to have Roe until much later, obviously.

Jenga and Sour Cream - Adrien Jr's red eye tree frogs. Jenga was named by Devon, while he was the one to name Sour Cream. He likes to make little hats and frog sized furniture for them.

A and X - Grant's two angelfish. He wasn't caring for them properly at first, but when Ezra moved in he kind of took over them by getting a better aquarium for them. A and X are basically Ezra's fish now

Loopy and Fresca - the black and white bunnies Arvid took in after he moves in with Izan (and Avery). Loopy was named by Izan, and Fresca was named by Avery. Loopy is very Odd. Fresca is a sweetheart.

Banshee - Josine's cream and white cat. She was named Banshee because she is Very Loud. She is of course very close to Zander, but she does not like Kiyan and Trioti. She also fights with any other cat she comes in contact with.

Beano - Kiyan's fluffy cream and white cat. He's a chaotic asshole that kills lots of smaller animals and brings them back to Kiyan and Jax. Beano tears up anything paper, and often knocks Kiyan's puzzle pieces around

Judy - Dallon's grey cat. She's also Zander's cat, technically.

Legato - a blue budgie that Adrien got for Alora. He's a very social and lively bird that loves to chill near Alora whenever possible. He can say some simple words and phrases like his own name, but I imagine Alora and Galatea also teach him to say weird shit too. he also says Arvie everytime he sees Arvid, and Alora gives him treats when he does

Bandit - Arvid's solid white cat. She's missing an eye, and she tends to be very nervous around everyone but Arvid and Scarlette. She is warming up to Izan, Amanda, and Fel. Arvid initially wanted to get a cat after he found out that Chuck had one, but he acquired many more reasons for why he wanted one. He convinced his parents, and they let him adopt a cat. Arvid declared her as his second evil sidekick.

#hnmp #hnmp gen2

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actuallyvady · 4 years

Text

The last couple of days I have been reflecting on a beloved piece of media that has been lost to me, now that I know how bigoted the author is.

I'm referring not to Harry Potter, but to Ender's Game.

I mentioned to someone in the comments of a post I made that Harry Potter never had the special place in my heart that it has for so many of my friends. I was in high school, I think, before I knew it existed; at the time, I was neck-deep in Wheel of Time, had long since read not only Lord of the Rings but also the Silmarillion (in fact, I think I was gifted my beautiful illustrated LotR the same year I got the first few Harry Potter books, for Christmas)... in my life, Harry Potter was nothing special. What Ajah I was mattered more than what House I was.

I didn't have the experience of growing up alongside Harry, as so many did, but there *was* a character I met at the perfect age, who mattered more to me than I could describe. Ender Wiggin. I was in sixth grade when we read Ender's Game in English class. I was eleven years old-- the same age Ender is at the climax of the book.

That was an unusual experience for me; starting at about age eight I didn't read many books that were written for kids. (I say 'age eight' because that was when the movie of Jurassic Park came out, and while I had been reading 'adult' books for some time, that kicked off my Crichton phase, and I don't recall reading any kids books after that for a very long time.) I felt more connected to older protagonists, usually; adults writing kids tended to make them too childish for me to find them relatable. I'm sure there's a lot to unpack there, but it's true-- I didn't *want* silly, lighthearted stories. I was obsessed with Les Mis starting at about age five or six, if that tells you anything.

Ender was different. It's hard to describe why. It could be that he was written to be as serious as an adult protagonist, something I remember Orson Scott Card commenting on-- that adults would tell him "kids aren't like that" and kids would tell him "thank you for writing a kid I can relate to." Ender was a brilliant child with loving parents who did not understand (sometimes I wonder why such characters are relatable to so many-- does every child feel 'different'?), he was lonely because he was so far removed from those around him-- early on because he was gifted, later it was deliberate. He made friends with outcasts, the weird and the ostracized.

But the thing I loved most about him, the thing that made the book (and its sequel-- I didn't love the whole series, but Speaker for the Dead was great) so powerful to me, was his deep compassion. Ender was a weapon, to the adults to who shaped his life; they manipulated him and lied to him and deliberately made him miserable because they wanted him to win their war. But the thing that made him an effective weapon was not his mind, it was his heart. Ender would come to understand his enemy, know them through and through, and it was what enabled him to defeat them... but it also meant that he loved them. It made him miserable, to know and love only to destroy.

Ender's compassion, his empathy, his ability to put himself in another's place and *know* them, understand them, and love them even when they are an enemy... that has stuck with me, and has, I think, shaped who I am as a person. Compassion and empathy are not unique to Ender, of course-- but that book came to me at the right time for him to be a huge influence on me and my perspectives on the world.

But Orson Scott Card is a bigot. Not even a "oh, JK Rowling is repeating TERF rhetoric, maybe she just doesn't understand how dangerous it is" bigot-- Orson Scott Card is openly, knowingly, and dangerously bigoted. He's homophobic in the extreme-- supported anti-sodomy laws, once advocated for people to rise up against the government if gay marriage was legalized, believes it's childhood abuse that 'turns' people gay. And then there's this, from a 2013 rant:

“Having been anointed from the start of his career because he was that magical combination—a black man who talks like a white man (that's what they mean by calling him "articulate" and a "great speaker")—he has never had to work for a living, and he has never had to struggle to accomplish goals. He despises ordinary people, is hostile to any religion that doesn't have Obama as its deity, and his contempt for the military is complete.”

... yeah.

I discovered all of this when I was in college-- well, the Obama stuff came later, but he's been trash for a long time-- and... I didn't know how to deal with it. The question of whether it's possible to love a work and hate its author became very real real to me, then, and it's one I still don't have an answer to. Are the lessons as real, knowing the author is blind to them? Is the meaning I found in the work negated by the author's hatred?

For myself... I can't read it anymore. I am afraid that I would find his bigotry behind every word, now... and equally afraid that I would still find it as moving and powerful. I don't know what to do with that.

That is, however, my own choice, based on my own feelings-- if you feel differently, and are able to divorce the work from the author and still find meaning in it, that's wonderful. I hope all of my friends who are currently struggling with Rowling and Harry Potter figure out where they stand, and find peace with it. Give yourself time; this is hard.

#cross-posting from facebook #because lately i've been basically blogging over there lol #writing essays is how i process things

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