#honestly the only reason why i think he might eventually feel comfortable with sex again is because ->

[thranduel]

some thoughts about astarion because i'm tired of the internet reducing him to one thing

when bg3 came out in early access, astarion was always seen as the extremely flirty, confident guy who enjoyed sex (or so we thought) and spoke about it like it was his favourite thing. he was also kinda marketed as the “sexy vampire”, so you can understand why many people saw him that way based on the little amount of content we had. even while playing act 1 and act 2, many players still might think of him like that because he does have a very charismatic personality and he asks to sleep with you very early on, so it just automatically makes you think he’s genuinely happy doing that and being totally serious.

BUT!!!!!!! we end up finding out later on that’s NOT the case and it was all part of a plan to seduce us in order for him to gain protection. he opens up about his past and his trauma and how he was forced to use his body to lure people back to cazador. he struggles with intimacy and relationships in general because of this. that’s why i really hope that people stop reducing him to “hot sexy vampire that loves flirting and having sex with everyone” when that is not who he is, he’s literally traumatised because of sex due to being forced into it and he’s slowly trying to heal. he’s also so much more than just “the hot vampire”, ya know? if you actually put in the effort to get to know him, you will see who he truly is underneath and he has many loveable traits to appreciate.

you may not see the “soft” side of him very often because he hides it, but it’s there!! one thing i noticed that really stood out to me was that when i gave food to an orphan in act 3 and he approved. back when you first met him, he probably would’ve done the opposite or had no reaction at all. i also saw a clip of someone trying to romance karlach and astarion and he literally told tav to choose karlach over him because he can see that karlach loves her. he said normally an arrangement would work for him but after everything karlach has been through, he doesn’t want to get in the way or see her hurt. letting tav go is also hard for him as well but he still thought about someone else. he could’ve whined or been possessive or jealous but he didn’t do that at all. where are all those people who reduce astarion to “the guy that flirts and sleeps with everyone” now? seriously. that’s not what he does, and when he was forced into it by cazador, he was trying to survive, he didn’t do it for his own pleasure. it’s not a “hot” personality trait of his, it’s literally trauma. and because he did it so much, he got used to it, and that resulted in him disassociating and feeling empty.

apparently if you ask him to join you and sleep with the drows at the brothel (something i will never make him do in my playthroughs), he only says yes because he struggles to say no. but he disassociates. and if you’re in a high approval relationship with him and he loves you, he will feel safe enough to express his feelings and say he’s not comfortable. this happens before you fight cazador. i’m not sure if he gives the same response after, but either way, if he joins in, he will always disassociate and it’s not something he wants to do despite what he may say.

that being said, it’s obviously still okay to appreciate his beauty and attractiveness, because he is very beautiful. he appreciates it and even likes being called beautiful. calling him “hot” and “sexy” isn’t a bad thing either, we know he can be and i'm sure he knows it too! it’s just annoying when people act like that’s ALL he is and they don’t even mention anything else about his character. the love scenes are beautifully done too (i personally prefer the second one after you’ve stopped him from doing the ritual, because that’s the one where he decided he truly wanted it and felt safe and comfortable because he genuinely loves you), and i actually would’ve been fine if they didn’t have any scenes like that at all because it’s totally understandable and valid if he didn’t feel comfortable, but i just hope that people don’t take things too far and over-sexualise him just because of how he appeared to be in the first half of the game and the way he’s often marketed on social media. and yes i know he’s fictional and nothing on the internet is going to hurt his feelings!!!! it’s more about the fact that he canonically has sexual trauma and many people still say really disturbing stuff even AFTER they find out about that, and it just makes me uncomfortable to think that people are okay with treating someone like a sexual object especially when they've said they're traumatised and it makes them uncomfortable. idk if this makes sense 😭

but yeah he doesn't want to flirt and sleep with everyone as i've seen people claim. and if in an alternate universe he did, and he did it on his OWN terms, and the other people he had relationships with enjoyed it too, then good for them! absolutely nothing wrong with that if there's consent, respect and honesty. however, that's not the case with what happened with astarion, because 1. he was forced into using his body WHEN HE DID NOT WANT TO and 2. he misled people and lured them to a miserable fate. it's so horrible and devastating for everyone involved. sex was never something fun for him, and it certainly isn't a "personality trait" of his. it was a survival tactic. he was forced to. he didn’t want to.

obviously when he becomes more comfortable, then it's totally understandable to get excited when he flirts and shows physical affection. he can be so charming, funny, sweet and romantic and i love that. it’s so beautiful to see him heal, genuinely find comfort in someone for the first time and experience intimacy that he feels ready and comfortable for. he deserves to love and be loved on his own terms instead of being forced. but again, he is so much more than the guy we were introduced to at the beginning. the internet just sees one thing and sticks with it but i really hope people start to actually appreciate him for who he is and the complexity of his character.

aaaaand i just had to leave this here <3

#astarion #baldur’s gate 3 #bg3 #sorry for rambling i’ve just been very emotional about him recently 😭 #also i hope people remember that even if he NEVER EVER wanted to have sex again he is 100% valid #he does not have to change or force himself to feel a certain way #especially after everything he’s been through #and if you think he does then you’re gross. he doesn’t owe anyone ANYTHING #anyways #when he kept apologising for not sleeping with tav i wanted to cry #there is literally a scene where if you tell him halsin is interested in you he says it’s ok to go to him #but then he gets concerned and asks if it’s because he hasn’t slept with you for a while #and i wanted to cry #he should NEVER have to feel guilty for that #honestly the only reason why i think he might eventually feel comfortable with sex again is because -> #in act 3 after his genuine love confession after you help him defeat cazador he initiates it himself #and it feels like it’s something he truly wants after developing a strong emotional bond with someone for the first time #and i think that’s really beautiful that he chose to do it on his own terms when he felt ready #but also #for a while i wasn’t sure if he was repulsed and uncomfortable by sex in general and hated it entirely #or if he only feels comfortable after he develops a strong emotional bond #the only reason i think the second one now is because of what happened in act 3 #but regardless whatever it is i just want him to feel safe and comfortable and happy #my posts

[14thcommander]

she lives in daydreams with me | chapter two

summary: A flashback to what life is like in Trost, and why you have been avoiding your friends in the first place. Mikasa flies too close to the sun, and might just burn herself in the process.

cw: 18 PLUS ONLY! internalized homophobia, queer angst, mutual pining, break ups, mentions of sex and jealousy.

author's note: hi everyone! this chapter is basically to give context and answer to a few questions from chapter one: what reader was up to in college and why they became distant in the first place. i hope you enjoy it, please don't forget to leave feedback

chapter one

Trost, a year before. 

Everything seems pointless.

Your world is blurry, a variation of shades of gray — the floor against your bare feet is cold and the windows aren’t even open.

You’re making no sense, you think. Somewhere in your apartment, your phone – that you once thought was long gone – vibrates relentlessly, most likely with the calls of your friends and loved ones — even though you can’t help but wish it was Pieck Finger.

Hopelessly, you drag your feet down the hallway, towards your small kitchen. What were you about to do, again? Right, coffee… black, no sugar. It’s time to aspire to new things, you figure. It’s time to explore the world around you a little bit more.

The boiling water stares at you in a funny way. Perhaps you should get a coffee making machine soon, given the fact your ex girlfriend wouldn’t be a part of your everyday life anymore.

You’ll attempt to forget her, yet you’re not fully convinced it’ll work. Eventually, you’ll go to clubs and kiss a girl who has a similar hairstyle to Pieck, and perhaps even the same eye as hers. You’ll forget what she sounds like, yet you won’t forget how she likes her coffee — a short espresso with cream on the side. Life will go on, with new endings and new beginnings.

Yet it still feels like the end of the world, like nothing will matter anymore — not that it ever did, honestly. 

-

“Are you seriously watching a crappy tv show again?”

Reiner’s annoyed tone seems to fall upon deaf ears, as you barely grumble a response. 

You’re laying on a beatdown sofa that you and your roommate Petra picked at a local vintage store when you first moved. There’s a hideous green blanket wrapped around your body, and a sock covered foot peaks through it. 

The coffee table in front of you looks like a disaster – paper plates long discarded, as well as one or two empty ice cream boxes. Your phone buzzes, vibrating against the table, yet you still ignore it. 

You should have put it on do not disturb mode, anyway. 

“You can’t keep doing this.” The blond walks in front of the television, blocking your view – it’s whatever, really. You’ve been binge watching this show for the second time in a single week. “It’s been two weeks.”

Braun’s voice sounds more annoying than usually, and you roll your eyes at his words.

“It’s been 10 days, to be exact.”

He huffs in response, placenta a large hand on his hip. 

“It’s a breakup, not the end of the world.”

Your eyes shut, and you take a deep breath. This whole thing is a lot more complicated than it seems, which Reiner doesn’t understand – not fully, at least. 

“I know, I know. Just feels like it, though.”

Sighing for the thor time in a row, your friend approaches your sulky frame on the sofa. He takes a seat on the arm rest, allowing you to remain in your comfortable position. For some reason, it reminds you of what it was like back then – attending high school in Shiganshina felt like a nightmare, long forgotten. You still have night terrors, though. 

“Listen, I know it’s terrible. All of it.” His gaze falls upon the wacky medical TV show playing on the outdated television. “I, uh, I had a boyfriend, you know. Before moving to Shiganshina.”

You know the basics of Reiner’s story: moved to your hometown from Marley, during freshman year. He was big, broad – even more so now – which helped him fall into sports. A good tactic to remain unnoticed, you believe. A mere acquaintance – that is, until you ran into him at a gay bar, near Trost University. Despite the initial shock, it made sense. You became friends not long after that. 

“It’s not the same thing, I think. Quite the opposite actually, but the feeling of having something and then losing it all of a sudden… yeah. I know what it feels like.”

Pieck was a friend of a friend, who you met at a house party. She was shorter than you, with dark hair beautifully framing her face, pale skin often becoming rosy at your touch, and big brown eyes looking at you like you hung the moon. 

She reminds you of somebody else. 

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Is all you can come up with, your brain feels foggy from thinking too much. The last few weeks have been hell. 

“It mostly sucks cause you can’t ask your friends for support, right?” He says between what sounds like a huff and a chuckle, hazel eyes still glued to the television.

“Yeah I can. You’re my friend, Reiner.” Your words sound silly as you yawn, mismatched sock covered feet poking through the blanket covering your frame. 

“You know what I mean.”

You do. 

“I guess.”

There’s a lot that goes unsaid between you and your new friend: the hiding, the pretending and the masks you use on a daily basis are not part of the unspoken truths. Reiner is, at the end of the day, the same as you. 

“I can’t just call home and tell them I’m queer, can I?” You say, as a joyless laugh. “Can you imagine how that conversation would go? ‘Hey guys, yeah sorry I haven’t reached out. Like, I realized I’ve been pretending to be straight for my whole life, even got a girlfriend and all that. Yeah, we were together for six months, the exact amount of time I’ve been ghosting y’all’”

Truth is, rust was growing on your telephone from the lack of getting in touch with your friends. At first, it was accidental – a mere need to focus on school and your life in Trost. After you started seeing Pieck, you realize they couldn’t ever meet who you became (or who you have always been). There’s something in your chest, deep and ugly, that claws mercilessly at your broken heart. Tears stream down your face, repeatedly painting your cheeks in a glowy light. The blond’s gaze softens, and he realizes he got it all wrong.

It wasn’t just a breakup. 

A sob leaves your lips, as your head hangs low in between your hands. Your brain is clogged with memories: scenes of Pieck making small talk with you for the first time, or how her lips felt against yours when you grabbed coffee together later that week, the sounds she made when you kissed the sweet spot on her neck, how her voice dripped with sorrow when she finally stated “this isn’t working.”

Even if she was the one to break up the relationship, you couldn’t bring yourself to be mad at her: perhaps this is what hurts the most. It was all your fault. 

Reiner’s arms snake around your frame, as gentle as he could be. The silence that falls upon you isn’t uncomfortable, or filled with facts you wouldn’t like to address at the moment. No, it feels familiar – it almost feels like home, even though you don’t know what that word means yet.

-

There wasn’t a specific moment you realized you are attracted to girls. There was, though, a specific moment when you realized you are different from those around you. 

It started innocently enough: first, you realized how the boys are gross phase took longer than usual for you to grow out of. Then, friendships with other girls grew into this intense, homoerotic thing you can’t quite name – it took you years to be able to talk to Mina Carolina after a fall out due to her getting a boyfriend. 

And then, after coming to terms with the fact that you’re queer, you decided to move away – far from Shiganshina, where you would be doomed to pretend to be someone else for the rest of your life. You have heard the stories of those, just like you, who could never come to terms with what they were. 

“Ready to order?” A nameless waiter approached your table, menu in hands and a nice smile plastered around his face. His voice snaps you out of your thoughts. Bertholdt kindly dismissed him, saying you needed more time to think.

Reiner took his lover’s hand, fingers intertwining in each others’. A kind smile bloomed on the brunet’s lips, as he placed a kiss on his partner’s face. No one batted an eye, as this is Upper Side Trost, surrounded by diversity and freedom – lots of it. 

“Sorry again for crashing on your date, guys.” You sheepishly said, feeling like sinking on your chair. In reality, Braun was the one to force you out of your apartment.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it, it’s nice to have you here.” Hoover stated, flashing you a grin. 

“Yeah, we’re just glad you finally left that rat’s nest you dare to call an apartment.” Reiner stated, gently raising his hand to call the waiter back to your table – he was the last one to order, as indecisive as ever. “Seriously, you need more gay friends.”

At that, you sighed. It was true, but not for style reasons.

“I know.”

Bertholdt took a swing of his beer, eyes still glued to your face. He’s always been quiet, according to Reiner. The perfect combination with his boyfriend’s talkative self.

You felt like dying.

It’s been a month since you and Pieck broke up, and although it doesn’t hurt that much anymore, it still sucks. You miss falling asleep next to her, cuddling against her warm body, being fingered by her at a movie theater-

“A fuck buddy, too.”

“Oh, shut up Braun.” You groaned, hiding a smile from him. At least he made you laugh. 

“Actually, I take back what I said. You don’t have a single casual bone in your body.” The blonde pointed out.

“That’s true.” Bertholdt agreed. 

“I thought you guys invited me for dinner, not a roasting session.” Your words are dripping with fake venom, playfulness clear in your voice. Rolling your eyes, you scoff as Bertholdt makes a heart symbol with his hands. “...it is true, though.”

As your food arrives, and you eat in mostly silence, your mind is filled with mixed thoughts – memories or the past and fantasies of the future, realizing how lonely it is to exist as a twenty something year old, queer nonetheless. And, at the end of the day, that’s the exact reason why Reiner made sure to spend time with you after the break up: naturally, you shared some friends with Pieck, however they met her before you did. It was only natural they would rather hang out with your ex, instead of you.

Reiner and Bertholdt were good company, though.

-

On the train ride home, your headphones keep you company. 

Soft, slow music plays. It’s shortly after ten, but the city is still alive – from your seat by the window, you can see couples returning from dates, families coming back from their daily outings… but mostly, you can see people like you. 

“Nice badge.” A girl says when walking past you, towards the end of the train wagon. You look down at your bag, confused, and realize what she was talking about. 

Wearing a pride flag on your bag has been a silly, tiny dream from when you were in high school. The dream meant something bigger than just a badge, of course: wearing your heart on full exposal meant freedom, even if it meant to merely exist in a city like this. 

“Thanks.” You offer her a smile, noticing a similar pattern on the material of her jacket. “I like yours too.” 

A soft smile blooms on her lips, as she nods and silently moves towards the end of the wagon, looking for an empty space to sit. You turn your head back to the window, watching as the city comes alive before you once again.

Armin Arlert was your first kiss. In the summer between seventh and eighth grade, you went to the movies together along with your friend group, who meticulously architected a plan in which you would sit by the blond boy. It worked perfectly: you got your first kiss, and your friends had enough gossip for a week or so.

Although you wished it was someone else, something else. When you closed your eyes, and your lips touched, you couldn’t help but wonder where were the fireworks people told you about. You thought to yourself, this couldn’t be the reason why people wrote love songs and poems. There was this sinking, aching feeling that there was something wrong with you – you were broken, doomed, ever since you were born. 

It wasn’t until, in your freshman year of college, that you discovered the expression compulsory heteronormativity. 

You hate feeling like this, till this day. It’s not as intense as it used to be, but the claws of self hate still manage to rip your heart apart every once in a while. Truth be told, you’re doing your part, actively trying to get better: therapy, gym, medicine. Still, it seemed like nothing could mend a permanent broken heart. 

The train is quiet, and you think about your past – about your hometown, your former friends, and your family. What were they doing on a Saturday night?

And, for some reason, you think of Mikasa Ackerman. -

A few cities away, surrounded by imaginary walls and constant judging stares, Mikasa stares at her phone. 

Her hair is wet, sloppily wrapped in a towel. She lit up a candle, not even ten minutes ago. Levi had left for the night, probably spending the weekend at Erwin’s place. There’s a rolled joint in between her fingers, already lit up as she brings it to her mouth. The window is slightly opened, welcoming the wind inside of her small room. Ever since joining Shiganshina Community College, the Ackerman girl got a part time job that, believe it or not, helped her rent this place with her cousin Levi. 

Her finger touches one of Reiner Braun’s highlights on social media, on his private account nonetheless – the title of said highlight was just an aesthetic emoji, and Mikasa wonders what the fuck is she doing. It’s a Saturday night, and she is lying in bed all alone, checking one of her acquaintances' social media.  

“No way.” She whispers to herself, finger forcefully pressed against the cracked glass of her cellphone. “No fucking way.”

Behind Reiner and Bertholdt, you could be seen with an arm wrapped around the waist of a really pretty girl – you were both laughing, foreheads pressed against one another’s. Mikasa notices a few things: this story was posted 20 weeks ago, she doesn’t know who that girl is, and you’re definitely too close to be just friends.

Taking another hit from her joint, Ackerman digs a bit more, chipped nails rapidly working against the screen of her cellphone, and she eventually finds out who the mystery girl is: Pieck Finger, gymnastics athlete and chemistry student at Trost U, bisexual and plant lover-

Mikasa throws her phone to the other end of the bed, shutting her eyes and taking a deep breath. From her social media bio, she seems like a nice girl. It wouldn’t take much digging to find out who she is, and that you follow each other. Hell, there was even a story highlight in which you were making a kissy face towards the camera. She shoves what’s left of her smoke in the ashtray, watching it burn along the ashes.

Her insides burn, with a sick feeling she hasn’t felt before – not when she broke up with Eren, not when her cat passed away, and not even after prom.

Mikasa Ackerman falls asleep, and for some reason, she dreams of you.

#mikasa ackerman x reader #mikasa ackerman x you #mikasa x you #mikasa x reader #mikasa aot

[newpathwrites]

Series Masterlist Main Masterlist

Chapter 8 - Confessions

Karga took a moment to ruminate over this information, the concept of not feeling attracted to anyone ever or practicing physical intimacy as a non sexual act being very foreign concepts. But he was just so happy that Mando finally shared something real with him that he could easily accept this even if his brain couldn’t fully process it. Finally, he responded. “And you’re happy with this arrangement?”

Din smiled under the helmet, despite the heat of his face, still burning with self-consciousness, completely unused to speaking of such things. “Yeah,” he said wistfully. “I’m happy… happier than I’ve ever been, honestly.”

Summary: Din and Cyar’ika each discuss their relationship and orientation with friends.

Note: My intention for this main storyline is for the relationship to remain sex-free forever. However, one thing I wanted to do in this fic was dispel a few myths about asexuality, which is why you’ll see that I’ve subtly left the option open for them to explore sexual intimacy at some point if they ever wanted to. Asexual people may choose to take part in sexual activities for all kinds of reasons despite a lack of sexual attraction - for these two, the reasons might be curiosity or finding new ways to enjoy physical closeness, for example. So the option is there, though I don’t intend for them to ever take it.

I will eventually post an alternate storyline which diverges from here where they do decide to explore this possibility in a very thoughtful and intentional way. You can read it on AO3 here.

Warnings: Alcohol, sexual references, non-sexual nudity (sort of).

Read on AO3

————————————————————————

Din Djarin and Boba Fett were really cut of the same cloth it seemed, each eternally in debt to the other for every little favor, the cycle never ending.  And so you found yourself again on Tatooine, Boba having insisted on accompanying Din to Nevarro when Greef Karga and Cara Dune called for assistance with an undisclosed problem (or rather, undisclosed to you).  Both Din and Boba were adamant that your services were not needed and that you should spend a few days relaxing at the palace with Fennec until their return.  You hoped their secrecy was a matter of limiting exchange of sensitive information and not one of expected danger.

  You and Din would be separated for only a few days most likely, but you realized that you’d never spent more than one standard day apart in the entire history of your partnership.  You would have thought nothing of that a year ago, but now that separation was a bit bothersome.  

  After recovering from the emotional ups and downs of the duel with Bo-Katan and its unexpected impact on your marriage, things had finally settled back into some sense of normalcy.  As usual, while out in public, nobody would think that the two of you were anything more than business partners, often taking separate jobs and keeping professional distance, though among friends, your attachment to each other had become even more obvious, easily falling into habitual affection around those you trusted.  At night in your own bed, you continued to enjoy physical closeness and the occasional kissing session, and the issue of sex had not come up again, both of you very content and comfortable with the status of your not-quite-platonic, not-quite-romantic relationship.

  —---------------------------

  It had taken most of the afternoon, but the weapons and supplies were loaded, and it was time for the two armored men to head out.  Boba and Fennec clearly couldn’t take a hint, not understanding your pointed glare, silently asking them to give you and Din some privacy to say your farewells.  You gave up on them and decided to work on Din instead, only to find him staring pointedly at you and turning his visor slightly to the side, apparently asking you to join him in another part of the hangar.

  The helmet was off the moment you were out of their sights, and his forehead came to rest on yours.  “I’m going to miss you, cyar’ika.  I don’t think I’ve ever been away from you this long before.”

  You sighed.  “It’s only a few days, Din.  I’ll be here waiting when you get back.”  You leaned in to kiss him once chastely before the helmet went back on as Fennec unexpectedly rounded the corner.

  “Hey, Djarin… DANK FARRIK, SORRY!”

  Fennec immediately turned around to give Din privacy as he whipped his head in the opposite direction to replace the helmet, leaving you standing awkwardly in between them, both of their backs to you.  Finally, Din’s modulated voice came through. “It’s fine, Fennec.  You can turn around.”

  “Boba sent me to get you - he’s ready to go.”  If Fennec was embarrassed by the situation, she didn’t show it, stoic as ever.

  “He’ll be right there.  Just give us a minute,” you told her, face burning from having been caught.  She gave you an amused smirk as she turned to walk away.

  Once she was gone, you pushed the visor up enough to place a brief kiss to his lips.  “I love you.  Stay safe.”

  “I always am, cyar’ika.  I love you, too.”  And with that, he was off, cape billowing behind him.

  —---------------------------

  Fennec turned out to be an excellent host, showing you many of the hidden gems in Mos Espa and even agreeing to accompany you on a day trip to check up on Freetown.  Still, she didn’t hover and left you often enough to your own devices to rest and recharge, much needed after a long string of difficult jobs.

  Not once did she bring up the ‘kissing incident’, and you thanked the Maker for that.  The embarrassment, which had plagued your every waking moment since, was finally starting to fade from your psyche.  It seemed Fennec had forgotten all about it.  But alas, you were not so fortunate…

  A rap at the door to your temporary quarters roused you from your lazy, evening contemplation.  “Hey, it’s our last night without the men!”  Fennec held an expensive-looking bottle of liquor in front of your face.  “I’ve got questions.  Come on,” she ordered with a turn of her head, gesturing for you to follow.  Not having the energy to refuse the formidable woman at this hour, you acquiesced and allowed her to lead you to her own quarters.

  You fell into easy conversation as the alcohol warmed your system, but once Fennec had adequately loosened your tongue, the real inquisition began.

  “So,” she started, “You and Mando… kissing… and acting very… ‘couple-ish’… When did that happen?”

  Between the alcohol warming your skin and sudden, overwhelming self-consciousness, it felt like your whole body was on fire.  Should you take the bait?  Probably not. But you kind of wanted to talk about it… or maybe that was just the alcohol…

  Anyway, your mouth was faster than your brain.  “The kissing has been going on for awhile,” you rushed out, “since before the last time we were here in Tatooine.  It’s nice.”  You shrugged, trying to pass it off as if it was no big deal.

  “Nice, huh?  You two behave more and more like a happily married couple in love.”  Fennec smirked.

  You might just burst into flames - you hated this kind of attention.  “Well,” you answered meekly, “We are a married couple, I am happy, and I do love him.”  There, successfully circumvented the issue - or so thought your alcohol-addled brain.

  “No, no, no… I think you are in love with him.  And he is in love with you.”  Fennec sat back in her chair, satisfied that she’d pegged you correctly.  “Maker above!” she suddenly exclaimed, sitting up straight again and looking directly into your face.  ”Did you two have sex?”  She slapped the table in glee.  “I knew it was just a matter of time!”

  You wished you could literally just sink into the floor and forget this night ever happened.  As much as you were comfortable with Din, discussing such things with anyone else was incredibly disconcerting.  Still, you sort of appreciated the opportunity to get another female perspective on your unconventional arrangement.  You mentally steeled yourself and attempted to release the butterflies gathering in your stomach.

  Deep breath.  “This is a little weird for me to talk about… Yes, things are different between us, but not… that different.”

  Fennec, to her credit, became more earnestly curious and shook off a bit of her inebriated mocking, now recognizing your discomfort.  “So what has changed then?  The last time you were here, you were pretty adamant that your relationship was entirely platonic.  I’ve always wondered how you two were so close without venturing into other territory…”

  Kriff, explaining this would require some backstory.  “Okay, so first… Din and I aren’t like most people.  Neither of us has ever felt attracted to anyone that way or had any sort of committed relationship in our adult lives.  I’ve loved him deeply for a long time, but truly, it was platonic, as hard as that is for people to believe.”

  “Hmm… I get it, I think,” Fennec replied thoughtfully.  “I can relate to not feeling romantically attracted at least - I’ve never wanted that.”

  You grinned at her, glad to find that someone understood at least part of this, and continued.  “The marriage, knowing his face, being allowed to touch him without the armor - somehow it changed things.  It was slow, but the more we connected face to face and the more we got accustomed to physical intimacy, we both found that we craved being close to each other.  But still, neither of us wants sex - it’s just not how we are.  And although we’re committed and love each other in a way that’s not strictly platonic, it’s really not quite romantic, either.  It’s difficult to explain.  We’ve stopped trying to label it and just let it be.”

  Fennec thought on this a moment before continuing her interrogation.  “Okay… so, if you don’t mind me asking, where do you both draw the line?  Kissing usually leads to other things…”

  Stars, now you were really diving in. “Well, since neither of us is inclined toward those other things, that’s generally not an issue.  Pretty much anything goes with the kissing - we just really enjoy the sensations and closeness I guess.  It really doesn’t get heated, even when… you know… tongues are involved… It’s not foreplay - just kissing for kissing’s sake.  We do a lot of cuddling and touching, too… more so, actually… but always over clothing and sticking to neutral areas.  It might sound weird to you, but it works well for us… It’s been very enjoyable…” 

  Fennec stared at you a long moment before speaking again.  “I’ll be honest… it does sound weird to me… But if it works for you, then that’s all that matters.”  A smirk appeared across her face.  “You said it ‘generally’ doesn’t lead to other things… so does that mean it has at some point?”

  You could feel your face heating up again.  You took a deep breath and pushed on. “Before the duel with Bo-Katan… We were terrified, emotional… It felt like our last moments together, and things started to get… out of hand… I stopped it before it got too far.  We weren’t thinking clearly, and I couldn’t bear the possibility of regret… It was the right decision.  Once the adrenaline wore off, that desire was gone.”

  “Do you think you’ll ever go there?” Fennec asked earnestly.

  “I don’t know, honestly.  I have curiosity about whether it could be a better experience with him - I trust him more than I’ve trusted anyone in my entire life.  And Din has expressed interest in trying it if I ever wanted to.  But I’ve got so much trauma from my previous relationship, and I don’t want to associate Din with that in any way.  Maybe I’ll feel differently someday, but for now, it’s off the table, and we’re both fine with that.”

  Fennec looked thoughtful, dropping the tough facade for a moment.  “Well, that’s fair.  Thanks for indulging my questions.  Just tell me one more thing… You really are happy?  Because I’ve known Mando for a long time, and he’s been different since you came along.  I didn’t know he was even capable of happiness, but that’s the read I get on him now… Quite an accomplishment on your part I think.”

  You felt a few tears sting your eyes at her kind words.  “Thanks, Fennec… Yeah, I’m happy, too.”

  “Okay, now that I’ve satisfied my curiosity about your relationship,” she leaned forward and placed both palms flat on the table with a wicked glint in her eye, “Is he as easy on the eyes without the helmet as he is with it on?  I’ve only ever seen the back of his head.”

  “Oh, Fennec… you have no idea…”

  She took another swig, giving you a mock salute.  “Good for you, my friend.”

  —---------------------------

  Though Din was anxious to get back to Tatooine… and you… he couldn’t pass up the offer to spend an evening catching up with his old friends, such opportunities so rare for people like them in this lonely galaxy.  Boba, on the other hand, was rather interested in the baths he kept hearing Karga go on about and decided to have a visit there himself before the long flight back home.

  Two full bottles of spotchka later, and working on a third between the three of them, Din was relaxed and pleasantly buzzed.

  “You know, Mando, you really should consider it.  The baths might be just what you need to relieve all of that… tension.”

  “I’m not tense.  I’m fine,” Din replied good-naturedly.

  Cara groaned.  “Please, give it up, Greef.  The man doesn’t even take his gloves off in public.  He’s obviously not going to strip naked at the baths.”  She took another long swig.  “Besides, he can take care of the tension in the comfort of his own bed with his beautiful wife,” she added.

  Karga grumbled under his breath with a raise of his eyebrow, “I’m not so sure he can…”

  “Greef!” Din reprimanded him lamely, the alcohol removing the intended bite from his tone.

  “Wait… what is this about?” Cara asked, sidling up to the table and looking between the two men.  “Is everything all right, Din?  You two seemed happy the last time we saw you.”

  “We were… we are…” Din started, slow to formulate an appropriate response.

  Karga, inhibitions lost, cut him off, blurting out in an unintentionally loud whisper in Cara’s direction, “They’ve never had sex!”

  Din didn’t respond, frozen in embarrassment, visor pointed down at the table, his silence speaking volumes.

  Cara spoke first, her voice incredulous.  “Seriously?  But you two are so close…. You share a bed…” Cara stopped herself abruptly and shook her head, taking in his withering posture, clearly uncomfortable.  “I’m sorry.  It’s none of our business.”

  He really shouldn’t discuss this without talking to you, right? But these were his best, and really only, close friends.  He’d had to hide so many parts of himself from them.  Maybe this - his connection to you - was something he could share.

  Din cleared his throat awkwardly.  “It’s okay… We have an unconventional relationship.  We, uhhh… touch a lot… and enjoy kissing… but neither of us wants a sexual relationship.”

  Now Karga was incredulous.  “How do you touch and kiss and share a bed and… not give in to temptation?”  He took another drink, adding under his breath, “You are a stronger man than I, Mando.”

  Sincerely wanting to be understood, Din countered,  “There has never been temptation… I really don’t experience that like most people, and neither does she.  Things did slowly change after we got married and the beskar was no longer a barrier between us, though.  We connected in a more intimate way, I guess, and we both found we enjoyed… physical closeness… but not the sexual kind.  We just don’t feel that.”

  Cara was thoughtful.  “Hmm… I didn’t realize not feeling that was possible.  I figured it was a natural response.  Doesn’t biology… you know… ‘do its thing’ once in a while?”

  Din’s face was growing more flushed by the second under the helmet, but he tried hard not to act as flustered as he felt.  “No, not usually.  There’s still biological needs, but I prefer to handle those myself than with another person.  We’ve both had sex before, when we were younger, but since it was never something either of us enjoyed, there’s really no draw to it, even when we’re doing physically intimate things.  Those things aren’t arousing for us - just ‘nice for the senses’ as she puts it.”

  Karga took a moment to ruminate over this information, the concept of not feeling attracted to anyone ever or practicing physical intimacy as a non sexual act being very foreign concepts.  But he was just so happy that Mando finally shared something real with him that he could easily accept this even if his brain couldn’t fully process it.  Finally, he responded.  “And you’re happy with this arrangement?”

  Din smiled under the helmet, despite the heat of his face, still burning with self-consciousness, completely unused to speaking of such things.  “Yeah,” he said wistfully.  “I’m happy… happier than I’ve ever been, honestly.”

  “You sound like a man in love,” Cara’s voice betrayed her typically stoic nature, so pleased to know that her rough but unexpectedly kind friend had found some happiness.

  Din replied with emotion, voice cracking a bit, as the alcohol made his thoughts of you even softer than usual, “I’ve loved her… like a close friend… or like family… for years.  It feels different now, more committed and more intimate… but I’m not in love with her in the romantic sense.  I don’t think either of us is capable of that - or even knows what it should feel like.  I wish there was a word to explain it - it’s not platonic, as I feel for both of you, for example, but it’s not quite romantic, either.”

  Cara smiled as she stood up from the table and placed a hand on his shoulder.  “Well, I should hit the sheets.  I’ve got work tomorrow.  However you define it, I’m really happy for you, Din.  You seem different with her - calmer… at peace… and you deserve that.”

  He briefly touched the back of her hand with his gloved fingers, as he replied genuinely, “Thanks, Cara.  I mean it.”

  Once the door shut behind her, Karga cleared his throat loudly.  “All right… I have a follow-up question.  I understand if you prefer not to answer…”  Din nodded for him to continue.  “You said it usually doesn’t get heated, which suggests that at some point it has…”

  Din cleared his throat uncomfortably but replied honestly.  “Before the fight with Bo-Katan… We were both sure I was about to die… It felt like I couldn’t get close enough to satisfy my last moments with her…” Din’s voice was becoming strained, and Karga put a hand on his shoulder in comfort.  “The adrenaline probably… led me to initiate some things… But she had her head on straight enough to stop it… It’s the only time either of us has ever felt true sexual desire, but it didn’t last once the adrenaline wore off, and it would have been a mistake.  She has so much trauma, and I could never have forgiven myself if I’d contributed to that.  She’s told me not to feel guilty, but the shame of having initiated it at all still keeps me up some nights.”

  “Din,” Karga used his given name to convey his seriousness.  “You did nothing wrong.  It sounds like the confusion was mutual… and a very normal human response, by the way... You need to let go of this guilt.”  Din relaxed slightly but didn’t look entirely convinced.  Karga pressed on, still worried at the tone of this typically self-assured warrior.  “Tell me - was she upset about it?”

  Din answered quickly, “No, not at all.”  He even managed a chuckle.  “She was as kind and level-headed about it as she is about everything else.  We talked about it the next morning.  She’s not ready for that and likely won’t ever be… And I’m honestly indifferent.  I’m curious what it could be like with someone I trust the way I do her.  But I don’t need to satisfy that curiosity.  I’m happy with our relationship as it is.  If she ever changes her mind, then maybe it’s a possibility.”

  “Well, Mando, despite its… oddness… your relationship is… enviable…. Men like us don’t often have the opportunity to be close to someone the way you two are, and I’m so glad you’ve found your version of happiness.  It suits you.”

  “Thanks, Greef.  I never would have believed it before I met her, but it does suit me.”

  —--------------------------

  You stood under the hot shower at home in your own ship, trying to wash away your anxiety.  Din had commed to let you know he was running late heading back from Nevarro and to meet him at the ship in a few hours.  But that was five hours ago… and he hadn’t called since.  Radio silence wasn’t really that unusual for him, communication of delays and altered plans often slipping his mind when piloting or focused on a job.  You tried not to get too worked up about it, but as hours passed, you could no longer control the anxious thoughts that flooded your mind.

  But now alone with your thoughts in the small shower stall, memories of your conversation with Fennec brought a new kind of angst - embarrassed self-consciousness over sharing the intimate details of your relationship.  To be completely honest, though, it was nice to talk to someone about it and let it be known among friends what you and Din were to each other.

  A sudden jolt took you out of your own head as you registered heavy footsteps approaching the fresher door.  You hadn’t even heard the ramp, and Din would have announced his presence.  Kriff, you had nothing but a thin towel at your disposal - no clothes and no weapons.  

  You braced yourself for a fight and held the threadbare towel closed at your chest, fingers in a death grip.  The knob turned, and the door began to slowly open...  And there stood your husband… turning redder by the second.

  You let out the breath you’d been holding as your grip on the towel loosened enough to allow circulation to return to your fingers.  “DANK FARRIK, Din!  You nearly scared the life out of me!  You’re lucky I didn’t have my blaster in here…”  You paused your reprimand as you assessed the situation.  “Why in the Maker’s name would you sneak up on me in the fresher?”

  “I was… excited to see you…” he said guiltily, feeling terrible that he’d induced such a fearful reaction.  Maybe he hadn’t thought this through. “It didn’t occur to me in the moment that you were obviously… naked in here…”

  You didn’t really know what to say to that.  All you could manage at that moment was a slightly lame, “It’s all right… We’ve seen all the parts before, so… no harm done… ”

  “I just… missed you… Surprising you seemed like a good idea in the moment… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you… I’ll just go wait out here…”

  You took a large step forward to grab his arm with your free hand as he turned back toward the bunk.  Maker, this sweet man. “Din, come back in here.”

  “Are you sure it’s all right?  I should give you some privacy to get dressed first.”

  You didn’t answer but instead turned off the shower as you tightened the towel a bit more and dragged him gently by the arm to join you in the small space, resting your forehead on his shoulder as you wrapped your arms around his torso.  His head fell into its usual position in the crook of your neck, hands caressing your back, and you just stood there together, relishing in being close to each other again after your brief separation.  Finally, you spoke into his shirt, “I missed you, too… This is nice.”

  His chest rumbled as he chuckled lightly, “Well, I’m still sorry.  Seeing parts when you’re injured and actively dying is a bit different than walking in on you in the fresher.  I’m not sure what I was thinking.”

  “It’s really all right, Din.  Let’s just make a habit of knocking, yes?”  You kissed him firmly, all forgiven.  “By the way, Fennec got me drunk and made me tell her all of the intimate details of our relationship…”

  If he was upset, he certainly didn’t show it, as his chest rumbled again with laughter.  “Well then I don’t feel badly about everything I told Cara and Greef over a few pints of spotchka.”  You giggled at the mental image of your inebriated mandalorian spilling his heart out to his equally battle-hardened friends.  “I’m not sure they entirely understand, but they did try.  Apparently, you and I are quite the anomaly.”

  “I believe the word Fennec used was ‘weird’.”

  “Does it bother you, cyar’ika?” Din asked tentatively, “that our friends think our relationship is strange?”

  “No, Din, not in the slightest.  I am very much at peace with myself… and you…. It doesn’t matter that others find it odd.  I never thought I could have this kind of happiness.”  You smiled up at him, the soft moment interrupted by a sudden shiver shaking your still wet form.

  “You really do make me so happy, Cyar’ika… I hope you know that… Come on, let’s get you warmed up.”  He pulled away from you, careful to keep the thin towel in place, and guided you to the sleeping quarters, warm hands vigorously rubbing your shoulders as you went.

  You assumed he’d leave you then, to give you privacy to put on your night clothes.  But instead, he stayed and rifled through your drawers, clearly searching for something in particular.  Finally, he found what he was looking for and turned to you triumphantly. Maker, it was the wool nightgown you’d inherited from your mother - ugly but insulating, something you’d kept mostly for sentimental reasons.  And he remembered, all this time later.

  As he pulled the thick cloth over your head, keeping eyes averted and hands safely by your shoulders as the towel fell to the floor, you were awestruck by the complete lack of awkwardness and discomfort in this vulnerable situation… a man dressing your nearly nude form, respectfully, and with no other intention except to make you warm… and you were fine with it.

  You almost didn’t recognize yourself these days - completely comfortable with such intimate things that once would have struck anxiety and fear in your heart.  With him, it was so easy… It made you wonder what other things might be possible… You would have to think on that a bit more…

  Newfound comfort levels aside, you were feeling perfectly content with the current status quo - having established the validity of your unconventional but committed relationship with trusted friends and having reinforced its importance in your life and your happiness. 

  A piece of paper that would solve all of your problems - that’s what Fennec had called this marriage all that time ago when she first made the suggestion.  Stars, it was so much more... As Din had once said, on the same day you’d consummated this marriage no less (Mandalorian style, anyway), it was truly the greatest blessing of your life.

————————————————————————

Thanks for reading!

Next chapter

#the mandalorian fanfiction #din djarin fanfiction #din djarin x ofc #din djarin x original female character #queerplatonic relationship #newpathwrites #a marriage of convenience

[haik-choo]

I don't write cause I feel I don't have a good grasp on the characters personalities etc, the characterisation of akaashi post is so helpful! 👀👀 Would you do kuroo or bokuto?

a/n: I hope you like both of these! again, if yall want me to do others, let me know! these are across the span of their life, so some may seem college-related and some may seem young-adulty! 

[MISCHARACTERIZATIONS OF BOKUTO AND KUROO]

bokuto kotaro.

clueless: i’ve stated this in akaashi’s post, but bokuto is extremely emotionally intelligent. he can pick up on the slightest changes in people’s demeanor or posture, he can tell if someone is sad or happy even if they aren’t good at displaying emotions. he’s not a dumbass -- and he can pick up on others’ limits and boundaries very quickly. despite his ability to read people relatively well, he has no qualms about pushing people out of their comfort zones and forcing them to do things they might hate at first, but will love later. he pushes boundaries according to your comfort level, and respects your hard limits. 

only positive: a lot of people write bokuto to be someone ho’s only happy-go-lucky, or someone who rarely gets sad (aside from his moods that are less sad and more discouraged), but I think that almost dehumanizes him. he gets back up faster than most, yes, and at the end of a lost game where everyone is crying, bokuto is dry-eyed. he’s the type to get home and plop down on his bed, face-first into his pillow, lips quivering and eyes lightly watering. there are times where he feels insecure, especially when he’s younger, just because he can tell he’s different from the rest. he has a feeling that people are put-off from his personality, he has a feeling that he’s not as (traditionally/academically) smart as everyone else, he has a feeling that some people find him annoying. that’s why when he’s near his close friends he’s very loose -- he doesn’t feel the need to hold back even a little because he knows that they love him for him. this translates to his toxic trait with his lover being that he feels dejected/insecure if you ever want space. while he can read boundaries, he would really benefit from a lover who has just as few as he, because then he can be his truest self.

love-at-first-sight: he’s not the type to fall in love at one glance, he’s just not. yes, he might get interested or you may catch his attention, but he’s not going to fall in love with someone because they have a pretty smile. it’s not that he’s calculated or over-thinks his emotions, he knows exactly what he feels, it’s just that his heart is a little slow when it comes to falling in love. he’s such an energetic all-over-the-place person that love is never really on his mind (he gets into some trouble with accidentally leading girls on because he’s so friendly). when he eventually falls in love, though....oh boy. he stutters, he’s over-thinking all his movements when it comes to you -- he’s usually impulsive but with you he really, really doesn’t want to screw up. he wants everything to go smoothly -- so he’s the type to plan out a confession and actually try to stick to it. when it comes to something like love, bokuto is surprisingly slow and careful, because he knows how fragile a heart is. 

never gets angry: i think most people like to imagine his anger is so rare because the image of an angry bokuto is scary, especially with his stature. and while it’s true his anger is uncommon (because he’s good at processing his own emotions and not lashing out at others), when he does get angry it can be pretty unnerving. he’s the type to slam his fist on the counter unknowingly when having a really bad fight with his lover, and he has a booming voice. he’d never hit someone, but he doesn’t realize how intimidating his physique is. anger is uncommon, but that doesn’t mean he’s not scary. he always apologize afterwards, though.

boundless confidence: i touched on it earlier, that he has bouts of insecurity, but again, i really want to emphasize that he’s not endlessly confident. honestly, maybe in the anime and manga he seems that way, but if you want to make him more human, have more life than a fictional character, you have to create limits or certain traits. bokuto is very sensitive, and the slightest thing can either inflate his ego or deflate it. plays in volleyball constantly not working may dig at his confidence, but he always re-inflates. in real life, outside the court, there are things that keep his confidence low everytime they happen. fights with his lover are one of these things; he’ll get jealous when they leave the apartment after a fight because he’ll worry about you finding someone more stable than him. jealousy alone is a solid sign of chipped confidence, something that someone as sensitive as bokuto gets every once in a while. 

overall, bokuto is a lot more intelligent than what people give him credit for. he’s honest with his own emotions and can read people very well, which is probably why he’s such a people person, but he still has flaws. he does not have boundless confidence or have no perception of boundaries; he’s unbelievably understanding. he may be initially insecure, have intimidating anger, etc. but ,after all, he’s human, isn’t he? 

kuroo tetsuro. 

sex god: don’t get me wrong, I definitely believe that he’s had a lover or two, especially in college, and that he’s played the field a little bit. but i don’t see him as the guy that has had sex with every person in his major. he’s a genuine guy and can’t have sex with someone he’s not emotionally invested in -- despite not being a ‘player’, he’s totally gotten in trouble with a few people because they think he’s leading them on when he walks with them to class everyday. 

intimidating: people always characterize him as this mysterious, sexually intimidating guy, but i just can’t see him as someone intimidating. if anything, he may be a little unapproachable because he has a really tight knit group of friends that he’s always with, but he’s not scary. he’s not the center of attention but he’s not a wallflower either, he enjoys observing people and watching drama play out, but he’s not silent and glaring all the time. he’s quite fun, he’s loud, and he enjoys embarrassing his friends in public. he’s the type to twerk in public and laugh his ass off when akaashi or kenma give him the side-eye and bro-kuto joins in. he likes to have fun, ya know? i don’t know about you, but a guy that twerks in public isn’t very scary, to me at least. 

prideful: I understand why people paint him as a prideful guy, he obviously likes what he does and has a personable personality, but honestly, he’s not perfect. he often has moments where he doubts himself because of his past decisions, his career one of them. kuroo is an amazing middle blocker, and his choice to go into sports advertisement rather than an actual volleyball league no doubt haunts him at night sometimes. he thinks of the ‘what-ifs’, and he dreams of what he could be. especially since his best friend is bokuto, a professional player, it’s often on his mind. it’s a super touchy subject for him, and if someone were to question his job-choice i have no doubt that he’d get really sour and distant from that person because he’s not sure of himself either. 

frat boy: he’s not someone who can’t cook, he’s not someone who sleeps at 5am everyday, hungover. he’s not the type of person to be immature in any way -- he’s got his shit together. i’m sure most people can actually see this, but kuroo is very responsible and realistic (which is part of the reason he didn’t do professional volleyball). he does his taxes, does his homework, gives out good advice, gets up early and eats everything that a healthy person should eat (in all the right proportions, too). he doesn’t even drink often, if anything he’s just a social drinker. he goes to bed at 10pm and wakes up at 6am to work out, no joke. he’s gotta keep that physique somehow. 

decisive: i know i said he’s responsible, but i don’t think that translates to decisive. i can see him having a lot of conflicting things going on in his life, different wants and different paths that he wants to take but can’t keep all open. it happens in love, his career, his college major, etc. he wants a lot in life, he wants success, happiness, a good love-life, everything. when he had to choose between volleyball and a life-long, stable career, he was broken for weeks. was he good enough for his dream? was it wise to chase his dream? would it be better to get more kids into volleyball, do what he did, what he couldn’t do? in his love life he always hesitates, too: does he see a life with them? how long will they love him? will they be able to deal with him once they see that he’s not perfect? is it worth it? it doesn’t matter if he’s in love or not, because his extreme caution can come off as very distant and unwilling to let you in, hence his toxic trait. he’s indecisive, scared, yet passionate and hard-working. 

overall, kuroo is full of contradiction. he wants a lot from life and is willing to work for it. he has dreams and tries to stay healthy and put himself out there, have fun, the whole shabang -- but he’s not perfect. he’s overly cautious when it comes to making important decisions simply because he can see a future with all of the different paths he can take. but honestly, isn’t everyone a little contradictory? 

#haikyū!! #haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu hcs #kuroo #bokuto #kuroo x reader #bokuto x reader #kuroo fluff #bokuto fluff #kuroo smut #bokuto smut #kuroo headcanons #bokuto headcanons #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu angst #kuroo angst #bokuto angst #anon #answered

[jaesqueso]

requested

pairing: jeno x reader genre: smut, college au! word count: 1,775 warnings: corruption kink, virginity loss

-

You never really cared about boys, you always considered your studies more important After all you still had your whole life to find your soulmate once you’re done with school and get a nice job. Well, that’s what you thought until you got to college and this guy started to flirt with you.

At first you were shocked that the notorious campus bad boy showed interest in you. Jeno was in one of your classes and suddenly started asking to borrow your notes and even to study together. You tried to keep your distance, you weren’t about to let a boy distract you from your studies, but you still decided to help him after all it was just about school right?

You started to meet up in the library so that you’d have to be silent but he always found space for his cheesy pick-up lines. At first you tried to ignore when he flirted with you but as time went by you couldn’t help to giggle and feel butterflies on your stomach and he seemed to be happy about the mood change between you two.

If before it was bothersome to study with someone else, you eventually started to look forward to your study sessions and couldn’t help stealing a few glances of his beautiful features as he tried to concentrate on his notes. You’d never been flustered by a guy this way so you tried to push these new feelings aside, there was no way he actually meant it when he flirted with you, after all you were just his study buddy, strictly business no romantic interest.

That was until your professor assigned you two as partners for a class project and you found yourself sitting in Jeno’s bed at his dorm.

“Can we take a break?” He groans laying down on the bed and stretching his arms.

“Sure.” You chuckle stretching your neck.

“Can I ask you something?” He sits back up, turning to you.

“Hum, sure.” You gulp suddenly feeling nervous.

“How come I never see you with anyone else?” You widen your eyes and look away. “You don’t need to answer if you don’t want to.”

“I-It’s ok…” You play with your fingers trying to find the right way to say it without him judging you. “I don’t really have any f-friends…”

“Really? Why?” He widens his eyes and sits closer to you.

“I’m not really a social person, I often rather stay home and study.” You look around the room embarrassed to face him.

“But you are amazing, it’s selfish of you not to let other people see that.” He places his hand over yours.

“You think so?” You look at him feeling your heart beat faster.

“I do.” He smiles. “And I’m really glad we’re in this project together so I can get to know you better.”

“Honestly I’m happy I got paired up with someone I already knew, that makes things easier for me.” You flash him a shy smile.

“Well… I might have had something to do with that…” He looks down scratching his neck.

“What do you mean?” You tilt your head in confusion.

“I might have asked Mr Kim to put us together…” He sits even closer to you, your thighs touching. ”Look, I like you, Y/N.” You gulp as you feel your whole body warm up. “Would it be ok if I kissed you?”

You blink your eyes trying to take in this new information. So all the flirting was actually real? Now you had to ponder if you wanted to share your first kiss with him.

And then you nod.

He smiles placing a hand on your cheek and leaning in to bring your mouths together. You close your eyes and stay still, not really knowing what to do. His lips are soft and warm and they feel so good against yours, you never want this moment to end. But then he leans back again. You stare at each for a while and then your lips move on its own.

“Can you do that again?”

He simply smiles and fulfils your wish. This time you tilt your head and kiss him back. Jeno brings his body closer to yours deepening the kiss. You shyly clench your hands on his shirt almost as if afraid he would stop.

And then he does stop kissing you, but only to remove his shirt. You gasp unable to look away from his defined torso. You squeeze your thighs together feeling a wave of arousal taking over you.

“I’m sorry, I got carried away.” Jeno chuckles.

“N-No, it’s ok…” You manage to say.

“Do you want me to stop?” He looks into your eyes and you can see he wants you. “We can go back to the project-” He stops as you place your hand over his.

“No, it’s just…” You take a deep breath before you continue. “I-I’ve never done this before…”

“Done what?” He smirks, clearly teasing you.

“Anything at all.” You look away.

“Do you mean sex?” He asks.

“Yes.” You whisper and close your eyes expecting him to ask you to leave, why would he want to waste his time with someone inexperienced like you?

“And do you want to?” He interrupts your thoughts.

You open your eyes and look back at him trying to understand if that’s a real invitation. As he doesn’t back off from his question you shyly nod.

“Are you sure? We don’t have to if you don’t want to.” He comes closer to you again leaning against your ear and whispers. “But I can make you feel really good.”

You gasp feeling your insides burning. For some reason he makes you feel comfortable and you were bound to give yourself to someone someday right? So you nod.

He starts kissing your neck and you close your eyes. His hands wander in your waist until one of them moves to cup your clothed breast. You bite your lip as a moan threatens to come out.

Jeno slowly lays you down on his bed, pushing all books and papers from your project to the floor. You gasp and open your eyes at the sound.

“Don’t worry, we can pick it up later, there’s more important things I want us to work on now.” He smirks pulling your shirt over your head.

He lays on top of you, between your legs and kisses your mouth again. You start to get nervous as you feel his bulge against your clothed core. But he relaxes you by caressing your sides as he kisses down your neck again. He keeps going down leaving a mark in the mound of your breast. He then leans back to contemplate his work.

“A little something for you to remember today.” He winks at you with a smirk.

You bite your lip as he starts to unbutton your pants. He looks at you as if asking for permission to keep going. You nod and he takes them off dragging down your underwear too. You try to close your legs but you are unable to as he’s kneeling between them so you cover your cunt with your hand feeling embarrassed to be seen in the nude.

“Don’t be shy baby,” he pushes your hand away, “you’re beautiful.”

You squirm as he starts rubbing your clit, closing your eyes. He holds your hips to steady you as he pushes one finger inside you. You whimper and arch your back.

“You are so tight baby. I’m gonna have to stretch you out before you take me in.” He says as he adds another finger inside you.

You clench your hands in his sheets as he moves his fingers inside you, low moans escaping through your lips. Your breath gets heavier and you feel a high building up inside you but then he stops. You push yourself up on your elbows and watch as he removes the rest of his clothes. You widen your eyes at the size of his dick, how the hell is that supposed to fit inside you?

You hear him chuckle as he moves to his bedside table to grab a condom. You watch as he strokes his member a few times before rolling the rubber over it. He then gets back on top of you rubbing the tip of his cock in your wetness before aligning it with your hole.

“This is gonna hurt a little bit, but it will feel good after, I promise.” He gives you a peck on the lips trying to relax you as he notices your nervous face.

He starts pushing himself inside you and you grasp his biceps holding your breath. He lets out a low moan as your inner walls squeeze around him. He stays still for a while until he feels your body relax under him. He starts moving slowly in and out of you and after a while the pain turns into pleasure and your whimpers turn into moans.

“You’re such a good girl, taking me in so well.” He praises you as he speeds up his thrusts.

He then removes himself from you and in a quick move turns you around so that you are on all fours. He massages you ass before laying an experimental spank. You moan and then gasp surprised you actually enjoyed it.

“Oh, you like that?” He gives you another spank and you moan once more. “Is my good girl turning bad?”

You keep moaning as he pushes his length back inside you. He holds your hips as he pounds into you and you feel yourself getting close to your orgasm again.

“Are you gonna cum for me baby?” He asks as he feels you clench your walls around him.

“Yes.” You groan as he moves a hand to you clit rubbing it.

“Go on. Show me how good I make you feel. Show me how happy you are for letting me break you.” He says in a low voice and you cum right as he finishes his sentence. “That’s it baby, fuck.”

He pounds you harder as he chases his own high and in no time he’s spilling his seed inside the condom. A few more thrusts and he removes himself from you throwing the used rubber in the trash. He grabs a towel and goes back to bed to clean you up. Then he trows it to the side and lays down pulling you to his chest.

“C’mon, let’s rest for a bit and then we’ll finish the project.”

You close your eyes and chuckle as you almost forgot what you were going before.

#cznnet #jeno smut #nct smut #nct dream smut #requested

[qyllenhaal]

Muse

Pairing: Artist!Steve x Reader

Summary: Steve’s an artist, and you’re secretly his muse. 3rd POV. WC: 3.5k

Warnings: smut (18+ only, MDNI), oral (f receiving), unprotected sex. Fluff. Friends to lover.

Steve knew it was a risk to quit his job and focus full-time on being an artist. His boss laughed in his face when he turned in his letter of resignation and asked Steve how much he thought his "little paintings" were going to make him. Steve didn't just face this scrutiny from his boss, but his friends too albeit not as harsh. Many of the people in his life didn't understand his passion for something that might leave him struggling, but Y/n was always there encouraging him.

"You may struggle for a little bit, but I think it's great Steve! Only one day into your new life as an artist and you already seem happier!"

Steve has known Y/n for almost a decade. They met under odd circumstances that some would consider a meet cute. She's still so sweet and bubbly just like she was the day he met her. It wasn't hard for him to fall head-over-heels for her. She always has a kind word and an open ear even during times of distress.

Sometimes he blushes when she gives him a compliment. She claims to not know anything about art, but every time he shows her something new she always has something stark to say that sticks with him. Maybe it's because it's coming from her.

His time spent alone in his studio is sacred. He converted a room in his apartment into a makeshift studio and he finds so much solace in those four walls. He has wanted to dabble in painting live subjects, maybe even a nude model or too, but he found himself getting real shy about it. He'd love to have someone to pose and to capture the way the light perfectly hits their face. That someone he imagined was often Y/n.

He was shocked when she allowed him to make her his subject. It started with him asking to paint a few photos of her she had lying around for "practice." Y/n was more than happy to help her friend Steve, only under the condition that he show her the final product. Steve found no problem in showing off the pastoral setting paintings he created, but it was much more harder to show off paintings of the person he thinks is the most beautiful person in the world.

Just like he couldn't muster up the confidence to ask anyone else to be his model, Steve could never ask Y/n to model for him in person. He found himself becoming too shy whenever the question was on the tip of his tongue. It would be much better if he were here in person with him, but he opted for photos of her clipped to his easel for reference. He'd finish a painting in one day and send her a photo via text of the finished product.

“I really look like that? It's amazing Steve!”

But eventually he ran out of photos. He tried to reuse some old ways and paint in a different style, or play with the colors, but it was beginning to become stale. Steve needed something new, but he didn't want to let go of Y/n as his subject.

"So you need new pictures?"

"Yeah — it's fine if you don't have any more," he tries to play it off as if he doesn't have 10 canvases in his studio of paintings of her that he hasn't shown her.

"We could take some more. Do you still have that digital camera you got a few Christmas' ago?"

"No. I think it got lost when I moved."

"Oh. Well I think Sam has a camera we can borrow. It's one of those fancy ones, right?"

Steve agreed to ask Sam to borrow his camera, but he honestly wishes that he had just bought his own. The amount of teasing he had to endure when he explained to Sam exactly why he needed the camera made his skin heat up. He couldn't stop his cheeks from becoming rosy when Sam asked when is he finally going to tell Y/n how he feels about her. Steve doesn't want to ruin what they have just in case Y/n rejects him. He'd much rather wallow in his school boy crush than put a strain on their friendship.

"How do you want me to pose?"

Y/n sat on the lone couch in Steve's studio room. It wasn't the best quality but it was still useful.

The curtains were drawn to shield the sun that was nearly set. The lighting in the room was dim save for the soft light coming from a small lamp pointed at her. It casted a warm, yellowish light onto her skin. She wore a white dress and kicked her shoes off at the front door.

"Whatever comes natural to you," his voice is weak as he responds. The atmosphere of the room is slightly romantic and he can't shake his nerves. Everything feels extremely intimate.

Y/n is almost as nervous as Steve. She's never modeled for someone and it feels a little bit awkward. She's always comfortable around Steve, but she can't help but get a little nervous when she sees Steve with the camera in his hands.

"You look perfect like that," he compliments the half-asses pose she's doing before snapping the first photo. He looks at the preview before the camera's screen could go dark.

"Let me see." He shows her and she just nods her head, "let me adjust myself," she whispers.

Y/n unbuttons the first two buttons of her dress, exposing more of her chest that only gives a glimpse of her breast. Steve pretended to not notice it as he took another picture of her. Once again Y/n asked to see the photo and looked a little more satisfied with it this time.

"Do you think that I could — nevermind."

"What is it Y/n?" He asks with a soft laugh that makes her want to melt.

"Do you think I could unbutton my dress all the way?" Her voice faltered as she asked. She watched Steve's reaction intently. She hopes the question doesn't make him uncomfortable. "It's just that I was looking up some ideas online so I could prepare and I saw this really pretty picture of this model and she was semi-nude but it was really pretty so I wanted to ask if we could try it," she explained; or perhaps over-explained.

Steve was completely dumbfounded. If Y/n couldn't see it in his dropped jaw, then she can see it in the way he just freezes.

"It's okay if that's too much."

"No! No, it's okay."

Y/n gave him a half smile before she began to unbutton the front of her dress. Steve tried to look away, but how could he not? The more she revealed herself, the easier it was for him to see the swell of her breast. Her skin looks so soft and he feels compelled to reach out and caress her bare skin. But he keeps his hands to himself.

"Is this too much?" The puffy sleeves of her dress were off of her shoulder and her dress was all the way open until the middle of her stomach. It's a lot for him to handle, but he feels blessed to see such a sight.

"No. It's perfect. You're perfect."

Y/n's skin heats up despite the room being cold. She was starting to get a weird feeling in the pit of her stomach. It wasn't a bad one or an uncomfortable feeling, but it was something she wasn't used to.

Now she's half-naked and posing on his couch. The first few photos he took of her like this were awkward as they both had to adjust to Y/n being half-naked.

Steve couldn't ignore the way the cold air made her nipples hard and breast tender. Steve was supposed to be on his best behavior, but he is seconds away from making a stupid mistake with his best friend.

Y/n arches her back which makes her breast jut out at him. Steve pauses to pray that he doesn't get a hard on. He feels a bit like a scumbag for even having this dilemma. It's just his best friend's half-naked body — that looks so soft and tender.

He forced himself to steel his resolve and hurry up and finish the task at hand. He began to treat her more like a model instead of the best friend he has a crush on.

"Try this," he suggests to her to move her body in a different way, which she does, but it's not quite what he wants. He was hesitant to get his hands on her, but he went for it anyway, "a little more like this."

In the process of moving her body, his hand brushed against her nipple. Y/n involuntarily let out a moan which made both of them pause. They looked at each other before Y/n let out a nervous laugh to try to play it off.

"Sorry," Steve apologizes.

"It's okay."

He glosses over what just happened and goes back to moving her body to her liking. He can't get over how good she feels underneath him. The truth is that he was taking his time to be able to have this experience for much longer. He may never have this kind of closeness with her again and he just can't quite let go.

Y/n watches his face as his hands touch her body. He looks so handsome under this lighting and Y/n wonders if she's always felt this way about Steve. For some reason she feels lust swirling inside of her. She hopes she isn't making a mistake when she leans forward and kisses him. Steve freezes under her kiss, stunned by reality, but he lets it happen. Her lips feel so soft against his, just like he always imagined.

She pulls away and places her forehead against his. Steve still has his eyes closed, lost in the dream that is Y/n's closeness.

"You can open your eyes now," she teases him. He obeys her and laughs along with her.

"I've wanted this for so long," he admits.

The revelation is shocking to her. She had no idea he felt this way about her, but now she wonders how much she's been oblivious to.

"Do you want this, Y/n? The last thing I want is for you to feel uncomfortable."

"No, no — I want this Steve. I wanna feel you touching me," her voice became somewhat whiny as desire fueled her.

With her blessing, Steve did not hold back. He kissed her hard, the way he imagined he would always kiss her. Imagine the way his heart nearly stopped when Y/n kissed him back with the same amount of fervor and want. Her hand came up and rested against the stubble on his cheek. They wish they could say their kiss was delicate, but it was not; it was sloppy and their tongues danced with each other.

When Steve pulls away, he's out of breath, but he's happy. The light touches he gave to her body earlier were not a bit rougher. He wants to explore every inch of her body in seconds, but he wants to be patient; he has all night to discover every inch of her.

"Touch me right here, Steve."

Y/n places his hands on her breast with his thumbs in reach of her nipples. Steve's thumb runs across her taut nipples which makes her sigh. "You like that?" He asks with a bit more confidence. She nods her head and her approval emboldens him. “Good.”

His lips ghost across the skin on her neck before he places a wet kiss against the skin on her throat. He can feel her breath hitch every time he places a tender kiss on her flesh. She smells like lavender and it makes him feel dizzy. He keeps playing with her nipples as he begins to suck on her neck. Y/n wants to just lay there and take in the feeling of him spoiling her, but she also wants to hear him moan. She strokes the bulge in his pants with her knee and she feels him groan against her skin. He lightly grinds himself against her knee to relieve all of the tension that built up inside of him. Neither of them are sure who wants who more, but it doesn’t matter to either of them. Knowing that this is an equal exchange of love and lust is enough for the two of them.

“Oh god Steve,” Y/n coos when he sucks on the most sensitive part of her neck. They’ve only just begun, but he makes her feel so good. A part of her is wishing that she had discovered Steve’s crush on her a long time ago, but she has him now and that’s all that matters.

“I wanna make you feel good,” he says against her skin, “I wanna make you cum.”

Y/n can’t help but moan at his confession. She can already imagine how it would feel to have him between her legs.

“Please Steve!”

Steve sits up just to push her dress up. The cotton panties she wears has a pink bow sewn onto it and he finds it adorable. He glances back up at her and he notices that she’s looking away from him. She’s now feeling bashful knowing that he’s going to see her completely naked even though she wants all of this and more. “It’s okay, pretty girl,” Steve pacifies her by slowly stroking her outer thigh. She finally looks at him, her pupils wide with lust. She almost sighs in content when he starts to slide her panties down. The cool air of the rooms only heats her up once it hits her hot sex.

“My god,” Steve whispers to himself. She looks so pretty, but she’s absolutely messy between her legs. She places her foot on the back of his couch to spread herself wider for him. “Good girl.”

Steve lowers himself between her legs and just stares at her for a moment. He wants to remember this for the rest of his life just in case this is the last time something like this happens between the two of them. He would be crushed if Y/n asked to just continue on as friend’s after this, but he would be eternally grateful that she granted him this opportunity. All he wants to do is make her feel good; his pleasure will follow suit, but it’s all about her.

One of his fingers runs along the edge of her folds. Y/n whimpers at the delicate way he treats her body. She feels so lucky to have someone so kind and sweet like Steve. He touches her with care, and love is in every stroke. “You’re so perfect,” he says before kissing her inner thigh. Every part of her body is sensitive but somehow she is able to withstand it all.

The first lick to her pussy overblows both of their senses. She’s sweet like honey and juicy like a peach. Steve’s first instinct is to groan against her pussy which sends vibration throughout her entire body. She feels like she’s on fire as all of the blood in her body goes straight to her sensitive nub. His tongue focuses on her clit and she’s in heaven. Steve’s tongue moves with so much skill and precision, but most importantly, passion. Steve treats her like he truly wants her, and Y/n can’t help but fall for him at this moment.

“You taste so good,” he coos against her slick.

The way he paws at her body while licking her pussy makes her feel like she’s being worshiped. Tears well in her eyes the harder he sucks at her clit. She hopes his neighbors’ aren’t home because they’d probably be annoyed at the loud sounds of her cries of pleasure. He has her on the edge and it just takes him rolling her nipples with his fingers that finally push her over.

“Don’t stop, don’t stop!”

Her cries are so angelic to him. And as much as he wants to keep licking her out, Steve needs to be inside of her so bad. He tames himself and pulls his mouth away from her to pull himself out of his pants. His incredibly hard, the head of his cock an angry red as it leaks pre-cum. “This is what you do to me,” his words are haunting. Y/n whines and wiggles her hips from being so impatient.

Steve lowers himself and presses the head of her cock at her opening. She’s so slippery that he pushes into her with ease. His cock is so big that she inhales sharply as she takes all of him inside of her. Her walls are like silk around him.

“So tight baby — oh god.”

Steve feels like he’s going to explode already. Her pussy is squeezing him and she looks up at him with wide eyes as she takes his cock like a good girl. It is the hardest task he’s ever faced in his life to not cum already. She just feels so good.

“Are you okay?” He asks sweetly before dipping his head to kiss her forehead.

She nods her head, “yes, Steve…feels so good,” she manages to speak coherently.

Her legs were thrown over his legs which allows him to fuck deeper into her. She looks so beautiful underneath him. Steve wants to feel her cum on his cock so bad. She flutters around him when he pulls out of her only to push back in seconds later.

Steve can only control himself for so long before he’s pounding into her. The cry of his name on her lips is so saccharine that it gives him a sweet tooth. He sucks on the skin of her neck to satisfy that need while Y/n places her hand on the back of his head as she moans for him.

“I’m gonna cum Steve! You’re going to make me cum!”

The ridges of his cock feels so good inside of her, but what really does it for her is how the head of his cock is kissing her cervix. The stretch of his cock is such a delicious burn that she wants him inside forever. With his face planted in her neck, lips kissing at her skin, Y/n is completely enamored with the way Steve consumes all of her. She is his just as much as he is her.

He feels her sex squeeze him one more time before she’s cumming all around him. She clings to him as her orgasm ravages through her. Steve fucks her through it before reluctantly pulling out of her. Her jerks himself off until he’s cumming all over her pretty tits, painting her body like she’s one of the world’s most precious masterpieces.

The two are completely spent as their limbs dangle off of his couch. Y/n’s heart is full feeling his cum cooling on her chest. She dips a finger in his spent and sucks it off, savoring his taste since she didn’t get a chance to go down on him. Steve almost passes out at the sight.

“You’re crushing my legs Steve,” she laughs warmly. He rolls off of her and off of the couch entirely.

Steve grabs a towel and starts t0 clean up her chest. He remembers what they were supposed to be accomplishing, but after what just happened between the two of them, Steve is certain he won’t be anxious about asking her to be his model again.

“So, where do we go from here?”

The question catches him off guard. He slowly wipes away his cum with the damp towel from her chest. As much as finding the answer to this question is hard, he is happy that she asked it because it means that she’s giving him a chance.

“I don’t want this to be the last time we do this,” Steve admits. He’s quickly become addicted to the way their foreheads pressed together; it just feels so intimate. “I love you too much for this to be the last time we ever spend like this together.”

As much as tonight has been shocking to her after the revelation of Steve proving to her that he loves her, she’s only overwhelmed with positive emotions.

“Then let’s not let this be the last time,” she whispers against his lips.

A wave of relief washes over Steve as he just lays there against, their bare bodies pressed against each other as if this is always how it should’ve been. His only hope is that they can stay like this forever.

#steve rogers #artist!steve #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers smut #fic #Chris Evans #chris evans characters #mcu #mcu fanfic #mcu smut #stever rogers fanfic #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x y/n

[tobesoalive]

latch (Sam Kiszka x reader)

hey guys here's the little Sam enemies to lovers smut that was requested! idc if it’s a bit cheesy, I had a ton of fun writing it so please please please send in more requests! I love helping your ideas come to life! 

Warnings: Smut (Oral-f and m receiving, fingering, penetrative sex, unprotected sex)

Friday had finally rolled around and you were more than ready. After a long week of classes and work you were more than ready to have some fun tonight. You and your roommates were going to have some people over tonight to celebrate your second year of college almost being over. You had come up with the idea last weekend and quickly made a list of who all should be invited. There was one person on the guest list that you were dreading to see, no other than Samuel Kiszka.

You had met a kid named Danny Wagner in your first class freshman year, and you two became fast friends, sharing many of the same interests and hobbies. Together you and Danny were a dynamic duo, and you always made each other laugh. People often thought you were dating, but he already had a beautiful girlfriend back home. Danny also had another person constantly attached at his hip, Sam Kiszka, you’d almost think they were the ones dating.

Sam was a lanky kid with sharp features and an extremely annoying god complex. He really thought he was the absolute shit and that everyone was in awe of him. Quite honestly many people were, but you saw right through it. You found him to be arrogant and rude, and you were always disappointed to see him when you went over to Danny’s place, even though he was his roommate. Sam would often show up unannounced at your place too, mostly with Danny, but a couple of times he showed up alone. You were always polite, inviting him in like the good host you are, and you two ended up watching a movie together, and much to your surprise, in these times he was almost tolerable. Almost. He would make a snide remark or joke that would infuriate you, but he wouldn’t stick around for long, usually having somewhere to be. That somewhere was usually the bed of another girl, but they probably didn’t just watch movies.

That was another reason you couldn’t stand Sam. Last year you had a crush on him and he would do the thing where he would play with your emotion, hang out with you and flirt with you only to immediately go and fuck random girls. It hurt you, a lot, but you eventually got over it, losing the romantic feelings, or rather pushing them deep down where you’d hope they’d never surface again.

Now people were going to be at your house in an hour and you haven't even showered. It didn’t really matter though, you weren’t all too concerned with what other people thought of your appearance, so what if your hair was a little wet. You quickly rinsed off in a cold shower, then changed into a simple outfit for the night, flared corduroys and a crocheted tank top.

That was the other thing, you’d think you were exactly Sam’s type, he seemed like he would be into girls who were more artistic and down to earth, but all the girls he hooked up with seemed like they spent most of their time thinking about themselves. Not that there was anything wrong with those girls, you weren’t the “pick me” type, but it seemed like Sam would care about that kind of thing. Whatever, you don’t even like him anyways, he’s more of a nuisance than anything.

You had finished a seltzer by the time people started arriving, the playlist you and your roommates curated playing throughout the apartment. Being with your friends always made you very energetic, and people always said they liked being around you. You could get a crowd laughing in no time. People were coming through the doors and when there were about 75% of the people there, your partner in crime finally arrived. “Wagner!” you shouted across the room in a dumb accent, already a little buzzed. “Where art thou good friend?!” Danny yelled back, matching your accent as you two finally made your way to each other, wrapping him in a friendly embrace. “Where’s your obnoxious sidekick?” you whispered into his ear.

“Don’t worry he’s here. I know how you were just dying to see him.”

“Oh aren’t I always?” you responded with a sarcastic smile

“I still think you need to give him a chance, you’d probably really like him.”

Before you could even respond, he was running up behind Danny and lifting him up by his waist.

“Well if it isn’t dumb and dumber!” you exclaim before Sam comes up and wraps his arm around your shoulder.

“Oh come on (y/l/n), you love me!”

“Haha good one Kiszka, now why don’t we do something I actually love.”

“And what would that be?” Danny questions.

“Take a shot and dance our asses off!” you yell. If you were going to deal with Sam you needed to be a little more intoxicated.

You gathered your roommates and the boys and took them to the kitchen and got out the glasses.

“To friendship!” you yelled

Right then you caught danny say something quietly, and it looked like he was saying “Or more than friendship”

That made you stop for a second before throwing your head back and downing the shot.

“Ok let's get back out there” your roommate says as she pulls you by the arm.

You spend about the next half hour dancing with all your friends, taking hits of joints and drinking. You and Danny did a silly little dance you had come up with last year when you would get drunk in your dorms and do dumb shit. Mid-routine he slipped and pulled you down with him, both of you laughing your asses off. You felt someone grab your arm and help you up as the song changed, “Latch” by Sam Smith blasting through the speakers, one of the best party songs probably ever. The person who had grabbed you wrapped their arms around your waist, swaying back and forth with you to the music. You loosened the stranger’s grip and spun around only to be met with the face of that little shit, Sam.

“C’mon kid can’t you at least try to tolerate me for one song”

“Who ever said you were intolerable?” you respond, admiring how the dim light highlighted his features.

He leaned in close to your ear and lowly whispered in it “You think I can’t see it. Whenever you’re around me you act like it’s charity work.”

You pull back to look him in the eyes and say “It wasn’t always that way. Now let's get back to what we were doing. I like this song more than I like you, which is quite a lot.”

He gives you a grin before you start moving your body against him, and by the end of the song he’s staring at you in complete awe.

Once the song ended you broke free from his grasp. “See you later Kiszka” you say with a wink, turning around and disappearing into the crowd.

Your stomach was in knots, and not from disgust. The moment you just had brought up a lot of emotions, mostly about your romantic feelings for Sam but also the resentment you felt towards him. Fuck, you were in deep now. Things would be so much easier if you never had to see him again and all of this could go away. But alas, you needed to suck it up so you could still have a close relationship with Danny. Plus in about twenty minutes Sam would probably be grinding on another girl. Screw it, you were going to have a good time with your friends, you didn’t need Sam to be happy.

The rest of the night you avoided Sam, giving him zero of the attention he was craving. A couple hours later people were leaving your home or asleep somewhere in the living room, bathroom, kitchen you name it. Thankfully though, your room remained empty, you needed some space to think.

Everyone was asleep and the house was quiet, you threw on a pair of boxer shorts and an oversized Led Zeppelin shirt, passed down to you from Danny. You went to the kitchen and drank probably a gallon of water, making one last pit stop to the bathroom to pee and brush your teeth. No matter how tired you felt you knew you'd thank yourself in the morning. Finally you were on the way back to your room when you stopped in the doorway. Sam was standing in there, looking at all your decorations and your extensive vinyl collection.

“You’ve changed some stuff since the last time I was here”

“Yeah, I like to rearrange stuff y'know? keep it new and interesting.” You remarked, rubbing the back of your neck and yawning, trying to hide your obvious panic. This is the last thing you were hoping for, being confronted one on one with the man himself.

“Are you cool if I stay here tonight? Daniel is passed out on the couch and I don’t feel like making the walk home alone.”

“Of course...did you want to sleep in here?” you ask before you could even stop the words from coming out of your mouth. Fuck, you were a dumbass.

“If that’s okay with you, sleeping next to a stranger wouldn’t be my first choice.”

“You never had a problem being in a stranger’s bed before” you mumbled, looking at the floor.

He didn’t say anything, just turned his head to stare at you for a second, his eyes seeming almost apologetic.

“Well you might as well get comfortable” you tell him as you turn off the lights and flick the lamp on.

“Do you have a shirt I could borrow? I don’t really wanna sleep in jeans and a sweaty shirt.”

“Would you like an old one of Danny’s or one of mine?” you tease him, grabbing out yet another old band shirt of his roommate’s.

While he’s changing you turn away and busy yourself with lighting some incense and pulling the covers back, to avoid seeing his bare torso.

“Can I throw on a record? I can never get to sleep in the silence.”

“Help yourself” you say, but he already has a selection in his hands, Michigan by Sufjan Stevens, one of your favorites.

���Wonderful choice, but I imagine you’re a bit biased.” you say to him, both he and Danny were from the same town in Michigan and had to let everyone know.

“I just wanted something calm and serene, compared to all the fast paced stuff we’ve been blasting for the whole night.”

“Well it was a party Samuel, you have to give the people what they want” you tell him as you climb into bed.

Sam grabs for one of the pillows and a blanket, but you stop him.

“Were you gonna sleep on the floor like a dog? I don’t give a shit whether or not we share the bed.”

“I just assumed...I didn’t wanna make you uncomfortable...or anything.”

“You might be surprised by this but I actually feel pretty safe around you” you confess to him. Fuck, you were still slightly intoxicated so your filter was off. It’s okay, he was still a little drunk too it seemed.

“Do you mind if I take my pants off?” he asks you with a sincere look on his face.

You can’t help but burst out laughing, finding his awkwardness and the absurdity of the comment quite hilarious.

“I’d prefer it to your rough jeans...as long as you’re wearing underwear.”

“C’mon I’m not that much of a freak” he says as he pulls down his zipper and clumsily kicks his pants off.

You couldn’t help but stare for a moment, he looked gorgeous quite honestly, long hair tangled, old shirt hanging off his shoulders and shark boxer briefs stopping at his mid thigh.

“Okay Kiszka, get in here before I change my mind.”

He pulls back the sheets and crawls in, laying his head on the pillow facing you.

“I’m sorry” he says, looking deeply in your eyes, seeming almost ashamed.

“About what?” you knew you shouldn’t feed into this, whatever was going on here was completely platonic and wouldn’t mean anything in the morning.

“Everything. Being such a dick to you. Leading you on. I promise that’s not me, I just, I honestly don’t know how to act around you.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re just the one person who actually kinda intimidates me. Or at least my feelings for you intimidate me.” he sighs.

“Is that why you are always fucking other girls and telling people about it when I’m around?”

“God you’re not going to take it easy on me, are you?”

“Why should I?”

“You shouldn’t. With the way I’ve treated you I honestly don’t expect anything from you, I just couldn’t hold it in any longer and I thought this was as good of a time as any.”

“Sam, can I be honest with you?”

“Of course”

“I actually don’t hate you at all like you seem to think. I can’t stand you because I really do like you, but I gave up on anything happening a long time ago.”

“Well you did a pretty good job of hiding it” he says, moving a little closer to you to the point where your noses were almost touching, the feeling of his breath giving you goosebumps. The music hummed softly in the background as you thought for a second.

“Sam don’t hate me but we’re both kinda drunk and I don't wanna do anything right now. I wanna be there for it, like fully there.”

“I was actually hoping you’d say that. I wanna take in every detail and remember it all. You’re not just another drunken hookup.”

You can’t help but give a soft smile, your cheeks going red.

“Well maybe I wouldn’t be opposed to a bit of cuddling”

“Neither would I” he says as he wraps his arms around you, pulling you in close as you bury your head in his chest, taking in his scent.

Something overtakes you, and you tilt your head up and press a soft kiss to his collarbone.

“Goodnight Samuel”

“Goodninght kid” he whispers, pressing his lips to the top of your head, and you can feel him breathing in your scent as well, elated to finally feel wanted.

********************************************************************************************************

You wake up to sunlight streaming through your curtains, turning to look at your clock but instead being met with Sam’s chest.

You were sober enough last night to remember everything that happened, Sam’s feelings for you coming to light and vice versa. It made you almost giddy with excitement, not being able to wait until his eyes opened.

You played with his hair, running your fingers through it and moving it from his neck, replacing it with your lips. Soon enough he’s stretching his arms and yawning.

“Any reason you needed to wake me up at 7 am?” he asked you, looking down at you as the pad of his thumb brushed across your cheek.

“Just couldn’t wait to see you I guess”

“That's a first” he says sarcastically, once again staring deep into your eyes.

You could hear the birds singing outside and a refreshing spring breeze made its way into your room through the open window.

You stared at each other for a second longer before he whispered “Can I?”

You nodded your head yes and he dipped his head down to capture your lips in a kiss. It started off sweet and then your lips started moving in a rhythm, his hands grabbing your legs and pulling you onto his lap. He kept kissing you as your tongue made its way into his mouth, causing his hips to buck up into you. You pulled back and let out a soft sigh, basking in the feeling of him growing hard against your core. He took this as an opportunity to attach his lips to your neck, sucking at the delicate skin and leaving little nips.

“Can I take this off?” you ask him, hands grabbing at the hem of his shirt.

“Please” he groans against your neck.

You pull it off and instantly your hands run along the expanse of his smooth skin, admiring every freckle and mole, fingertips brushing across his nipples. You pull your hands away to pull your own shirt off, blushing a bit, slightly embarrassed to show yourself to him. He takes a moment to stare at the newly exposed skin, pulling you down into a kiss a moment later and mumbling “You’re absolutely stunning” into your lips.

“You’re not too bad yourself” you say with a smile spreading across your face, quickly losing it as you bite your lip when he starts to move his hips once again, his bulge rubbing deliciously against your already wet core.

“I need more of you” he grunts, obviously frustrated.

You tangle your hands in his hair and pull his head back a bit, looking down into his eyes before saying “then have me”, pulling him into a kiss.

In a swift movement he flips you both over, kneeling with his legs on either side of you.

“These need to come off” he says, tugging at the waistband of the boxers you slept in. As he pulled them off and the cold air hit your core, you couldn’t help but drink all of him in, admiring just how gorgeous he looked, as if he was sculpted by the gods himself. That moment ended when you felt his middle finger run lightly up and down your slit. You threw your head back and closed your eyes, concentrating on the feeling of his skin on yours.

“Please Sammy, I need you” you say, surprised at yourself for using that nickname with him.

He looks at you and smiles before lowering his gaze to your dripping cunt, furrowing his brows as he pushes his long finger inside of you. You mewl as he pushes it down to the last knuckle, letting you adjust for a moment before starting to slowly pump in and out.

“Fuck you’re tight. So much better than I imagined.”

“So you’ve thought about this before?” You smirk at him, turning your eyes to look at the sight of his finger pumping in and out.

“Quite a lot actually, I’ve thought a lot about how you taste too” he says before readjusting himself so his head is buried in between your thighs. It only takes a second for his tongue to find your clit as he inserts another finger and starts to pump a little faster.

“Fuck you’re good at this” you say as you let out a breathy moan, hands once again finding their way into his hair. That causes him to moan around your clit, sending vibrations through your whole body. You don’t know how much longer you’d be able to last, with Sam lapping at you like it’s his last meal.

You pull his hair, forcing his lips to part from your sensitive bud, pulling him into a sloppy kiss.

“I wanna taste you too” you say before getting up and kneeling on the floor in front of your brd, motioning him to sit with his legs over the side, facing you. You look up at him as you pull his boxers down, length hitting his stomach. You take a second to admire it, with its pink head, a large vein running up the bottom. It was a nice length, with quite a bit of girth to it, surrounded by a small patch of pubic hair. As you wrapped your hand around it you said “not to be weird or anything but your dick is gorgeous”, causing him to let out a light laugh that was quickly stifled when you wrapped your head around the tip of his cock. His fingers intertwined with your hair, lightly pulling it, not forcing you down on his dick like some guys do. You gently moved your head up and down, taking as much of him as you could in your mouth and using your hand to stroke the rest.

“Fuck I need to be inside of you” he groans, tugging at your hair, causing you to pull your mouth off his dick with a small pop.

“Can I ride you?” you question as you make your way back onto the bed.

“Fuck yes, I can’t promise how long I’ll last though” he says, pulling you in for another kiss as you line him up up with your entrance. You run his tip along your slit a few times before slowly starting to lower yourself down, taking your time to adjust to his size. Once he’s fully sheathed inside of you, he throws his head back, letting out a guttural moan.

“Fuck, you feel so fucking good, I’ve wanted this for a long time.”

“So have I” you say before starting to slowly move yourself up and down on him.

It’s lazy and sweet, not perfect or anything, but nothing about this situation really was. You wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Fuck” he remarks as he grabs your hips, fingers sinking into your skin,helping you move up and down on his delicious cock.

“You fill me up so perfectly, god you feel so good”

“I guess it was meant to be baby” he says with a grin, putting his fingers in his mouth then moving them down to rub circles around your clit.

“Fuck Kiszka, if you keep taht up I’m gonna cum.”

“That was my goal, I’m close too” he breathes out as he buries his head in your neck.

You clutch the back of his head as you start to move yourself up and down faster, fucking yourself on his cock.

“Fuck Sam I’m gonna cum”

“Me too babe, where do you want me to?” he asks shakily.

The only word you can muster out is “Inside” as you approach your peak, clenching around him once more before tipping over the edge.

It’s complete bliss as you ride out your high, feeling him give one last deep thrust into you before coating your walls with his warm ropes of seed.

You collapse against him, nuzzling your head into his neck, pressing sloppy open mouthed kisses as you both catch your breath.

He pushes your hair to the side, leaving his lips on your temple while he remains sheathed inside you.

“Thank you” he says, still regaining his breath and returning to reality.

“Don’t leave me” you say softly into his ear.

“I wouldn’t for the world, don’t you worry kid.”

You sit up and look into his soft brown eyes, taking in how much things have changed in the past few hours.

“I don’t hate you. Not in the least. I just hated the idea of not being with you.”

“Same here, but we don’t have to feel that anymore. I’m sorry for the way I treated you. You deserve the world, and I want to try my hardest to give it to you.”

“Thank you Samuel, I’ll try to do the same.”

You give him one last long kiss before pulling back, pushing his hair behind his ear and saying “C’mon loverboy, let’s go get some breakfast.”

#sam kiszka #sam kiszka imagine #sam kiszka fanfic #sam kiszka smut #greta van fleet #greta van fic #greta van fleet fan fiction #greta van fleet imagine #josh kiszka #josh kiszka imagine #josh kiszka smut #josh kiszka fan fic #jake kiszka imagine #jake kiszka #jake kiszka smut #jake kiszka fanfic #danny wagner #Danny Wagner imagine #Danny Wagner smut #Danny Wagner fanfic #peaceful army

[noteguk]

a little while | kth | m

↳ inspired by the song “a little while” by yellow days. 

— summary; in which Taehyung realizes that he was wrong in thinking that being friends with benefits with you wouldn’t backfire. 

— contents and warnings; angsty smut!!, pretty much pwp, taehyung is emotional, fwb au, Taehyung x reader, protected sex, dirty talk (honestly like one sentence), unrequited feelings, kind of soft sex :( taehyung is whipped and sad about it 

— words; 2k

— author’s note; I’ve been feeling kind of stuck with my other wips so I wrote this drabble to unwind :) idk if I plan to write more of it but who knows!!! My two functioning neurons are very unpredictable. 

That was supposed to be easy. 

That was all that Taehyung could think about: you two, whatever you had going on; that was supposed to be easy. It was the whole point of even starting something like that in the first place. It was the entire motive behind why anyone would ever accept a friend with benefits — no strings attached, no clingy calls, no emotional baggage. It was supposed to be a quick situation, convenient; Taehyung was supposed to see you every once in a while, maybe even forget about you, until he decided that he wanted to get his dick wet again. 

It was supposed to be easy. 

“Is this okay for you?” Taehyung asked, leaning a bit closer to your face. He loved staring at you like that: with your hair sprawled on the pillow and your pouty lips inviting him into a kiss. He had grown used to having you under him, and it had quickly become one of his favorite pastimes. “Want me to go faster?” 

You shifted around under him, your hands moving up to rest on his shoulders. “It’s alright, I like it slow too.” 

And he could only nod, because his mind was thinking too many things that he could not say. It was supposed to be fucking easy, but somewhere along the way, Taehyung had ruined everything. It was just a matter of time before the whole situation went up in flames and he managed to lose both his friend and what might just be the love of his life in one go. 

Because Taehyung had broken the first and most important rule of having a friend with benefits: whatever you do, don’t catch feelings. 

And now he was rocking into you slowly, sensually, actually making love to you instead of the way he usually fucked — fast, rough, with your loud moans filling his lungs until he found his high. It was ridiculous. He felt nauseous. 

Worst part was that he was almost sure you didn’t feel the same — and the “almost” was because there was a small fragment of hope inside his chest that really tried to convince him that he had a shot. That maybe the way you looked at him showed something beyond hunger and lust. Maybe you actually cared for him. Maybe you wanted more and you weren’t brave enough to tell him. 

“Actually, could you go a bit faster?” 

Your voice shot him straight back down into reality. Taehyung only nodded, mumbling something that not even he understood before burying his face on the crook of your neck and raising the speed of his thrusts. The world around him felt suffocating and confusing, not even your honeyed moans against his ear could raise his spirit. 

Still he tried to ground himself, his hands digging to your hips as he closed his eyes, focusing on the drag of your walls against his cock. The feeling was overwhelming, dizzying, earned a low groan from him as he continued to fuck you like you deserved to be fucked. Taehyung managed to pretend that everything was alright for exactly two minutes before you spoke up again. 

“God, that feels so good,” you cried out. His cock throbbed inside you at your words, his mind spinning at the sensation of you growing tighter. Taehyung was obsessed with you in every way, completely enthralled by how your body reacted to his, so eager to feel more. “Want you to kiss me, Tae.” 

You always asked that when you were getting close and Taehyung was always fast to do it. His lips were on yours before he could even think about it, his tongue crawling inside your mouth as he groaned against the kiss. God, he could make out with you forever, it wasn’t even a joke. 

Taehyung was absolutely whipped and that was a problem. 

He removed one hand from your hips and trailed it down your arm slowly, reaching your hand and intertwining his fingers in yours. He moaned against your mouth, feeling his orgasm building up on the base of his spine, and pressed your hand down on the mattress as he continued to bury himself inside you. 

“Tae,” you sobbed his name so beautifully that he swore he could cum right at that instant. “I’m so close.” 

“It’s okay, baby, you can let it go,” he said, his voice so deep that you felt it vibrating inside your chest. “I got you. Cum on my cock for me. Wanna feel you.”

And you did, because it was like the universe was mocking him about how perfect you could be. Taehyung groaned — both in pleasure and in frustration — as your pussy clenched around his aching cock, your thighs trembling on either side of his body while you cried out his name. It was a flawless melody composed just for him: your voice dancing in the air, the lewd sounds of your wetness as he continued to thrust in and out of you. 

Taehyung, just to top it all off, committed the huge mistake of actually making eye contact with you as you came down from your high. It suddenly was too much: your hooded eyes, your parted lips, the blissful expression that covered your features. You were too much. 

“Fuck, baby,” Taehyung cursed. He closed his eyes, paying full attention to his growing pleasure. “You’re so beautiful.” 

He didn’t really mean to confess that out loud, but you didn’t seem to mind. You smiled, that gorgeous, drowsy smile you always gave him after he had made you cum, and Taehyung swore he was in heaven. “Are you gonna cum?” You asked, earning an eager nod in return. His hair was a mess over his eyes, sweaty and disorganized, covering his gaze as he looked down to see where the two of you met. You were made for him, your pussy was made for him, and he couldn’t take that idea out of his mind. “It’s okay, Tae, you can cum.” 

Again, the universe was mocking him, because within a few seconds he was doing just that. Taehyung pressed his forehead against your shoulder and spilled himself inside the condom, wishing profusely — pretending, almost — that the latex barrier wasn’t there, and that he was filling you up with his cum instead, making you his. And that was enough to prolong his high a little further, his cock throbbing as he dove into that fantasy. 

But, eventually, it had to end. 

The silence that followed was thick and overbearing, but comfortable regardless. Most of the time it went like that: with the two of you basking in the afterglow of your orgasms, drowning in the heat of one another without saying a word. Taehyung did not know what went on inside your head, but he knew that he needed those few seconds of silence to reset his thoughts, to try and bury the emotions that ever so gradually started to build up. 

Basically, he had to take a moment to remind himself that he had absolutely no chance with you. 

You sighed deeply, your fingers diving into Taehyung’s soft locks. He had collapsed against your chest, trying to regain his breath and, at the gentle caresses of your fingers, you felt his heart leap inside his chest, pounding against your skin. 

“That was nice,” you said daintily. He only hummed in agreement, worried he would slip and say something he didn’t mean to. “I have to go, though.” 

Just like that, Taehyung felt like he just got stabbed in the fucking jugular. He whipped his head away from your chest faster than he could think (after all, he should’ve enjoyed a few extra seconds of boob time if he had the chance) and his mouth fell open for a moment before his words finally came out. “Don’t— Don’t you wanna stay the night?” 

If you thought that his plea was desperate, which it was, you didn’t let it show. You smiled, leaning back to you could shift into a seating position on the bed. The two of you were facing each other then, so close and yet miles apart. “I don’t think I have the energy for round three,” you answered playfully. 

Taehyung had two conflicting answers fighting in his head. The first one was that it wasn’t for sex, something along the lines of “actually, I might be in love with you and I don’t want you to go”; the second one was the one that you wanted to hear: “it’s okay, I’ll do all the work anyways”. And, yet, as the brave battle continued inside his mind, he was left to stare in silence as you jumped out of the bed and started seeking for your clothes.

“Besides,” you continued, “I have that research presentation tomorrow.” 

Oh yeah, that stupid research thing. The reason why you had to schedule that Emergency Unwinding Session with Taehyung in the first place. His initial bliss, but his final demise. How poetic. 

“It’s fine, I get it.” Taehyung watched your little wiggling dance as you placed your pants back on. He would’ve teased you about it if his heart wasn’t in absolute shambles. “Can I see you later tomorrow, then?” 

You didn’t even hesitate to twist the blade. “Won’t happen. It’s Yongsun’s birthday and we are going to this fancy sushi bar downtown,” you said. The universe truly hated Taehyung and you were completely dressed by the time you leaned in to place a kiss against his forehead. “But we’ll figure something out. I owe you a third round.” 

Taehyung forced out a laugh, trying to brush away the storm cloud over his head. However, he couldn’t even convince himself that he was fine. “Sure. We can figure it out.” 

You hummed and ran your fingers through your hair, trying to make it a bit more presentable. “I have the copy of the keys that Jimin gave me, so you don’t have to worry about locking the door. Just go to sleep and I’ll lock it on my way out.” 

Taehyung simply nodded because he seriously didn’t think he could say anything without completely confessing his emotions. They were so bottled up that he felt them building up in his throat, like a shaken bottle of soda about to explode. 

“See you, Tae. Thanks for tonight,” you said on your way out of his room. 

He responded with a timid, “See you,” that he was a hundred percent sure you didn’t even hear. A few seconds later, the sound of his front door closing was like thunder echoing around his empty room. 

Taehyung sighed and threw himself back against the mattress, covering his eyes with the palm of his hand. He was so fucked. So fucking whipped. He just wanted to scream against his pillow until it all went away, but he knew that it wouldn’t. He couldn’t confess to you because he was sure that you didn’t feel the same, and he couldn’t let you go because he was selfish: he wanted you one way or another, even if he had to disguise his emotions and pretend that everything was fine. 

He removed his hand from his face and stared up at the white ceiling, at the slices of moonlight that came from his open window. Taehyung decided that he would just continue faking that he was fine with the idea of being friends with benefits with you. But could he do it? Could he keep it up? For how long? Taehyung had endured those acting sessions for a bit too long then, and he didn’t know how much he could take before he reached his breaking point. 

He groaned and rolled around on the bed. He just wanted to sleep. 

That was supposed to be easy.

#bts smut #taehyung smut #smut #angst #drabble #pwp #taehyung pwp #taehyung #kim taehyung #x you #x reader #bts angst #taehyung angst #smut drabble #taehyung x you #taehyung x reader #reader insert #bts x you #bts x reader

[cinnamonest]

Xingqiu - Yandere Profile

I actually just got my sweet bookworm boi to his next to last ascension, my hydro baby, my angel, I love him even if bc of him I have to marathon fight the oceanid

I’ve had a lot of reqs for him & Chongyun dating back to January again lol but it only felt right to wait until I finished both so I could release them at the same time, so, Chongyun’s will be up immediately after this!

=======================

TWs: fem reader, yandere, confinement, manipulative behaviors, mentions of homicide, gaslighting, Xingqiu being a spoiled arrogant brat

TWs (below cut): noncon/dubcon, manipulating and guilting reader into sex, overstimulation, fluids/cumplay, humiliation 

Since there's no canonical age but he has a bit of the rounded young face I'm tagging with the sh*ta tw as well!

=======================

Severity Scale

Intelligence/Perceptiveness: 7 Brutality: 3 Physical capability: 4 Mental/emotional instability: 6 Restrictiveness: 7 Sexual sadism: 5 Stubbornness: 8

What are they generally like? Lucid, aware? Obsessive? How do they behave?

Tries to buy his way to you, initially. He's grown up seeing the power that money holds over people, and, well, his father can always just wave a bit around and get whatever he wants from most people, so why should you be any different? He goes for stereotypical "girl" things like flowers and jewelry at first, unless you have some prominent and well-known interest, in which case he'll invest in something related to that.

Honestly, for all his chivalry and all that, his maturity is something of a faux one, a sort of projected self-image of the gentlemanly figure he strives to be... but when he lets that slip, he can be something of a childish spoiled brat. The thing is... he's completely unaware and refuses to acknowledge that he can be so immature. He likes getting what he wants, when he wants it, exactly how he wants it, and being denied the things he wants isn't particularly common in his life. So rejection comes not so much as a disappointment so much as a shock. No matter, you're just... a brat, yourself. You think you're too good for everyone, he reasons, so you play hard to get.

Really, after recovering from the initial shock, he realizes he likes things this way. He likes challenges. It would be no fun if you came to him easily. You may be a brat, but in the end, the one thing he refuses to ever do is lose. Chivalrous gentlemen are fine with having to earn their things, so really, he's thankful that you reminded him of his morals, of his desire to truly earn the things he wants. It will make it that much more meaningful.

So he goes heavy on the idea of "courting", following whatever old and prudish traditions may exist in Liyue. If you're from somewhere else, he figures, that could be why -- clearly he hasn't followed through on whatever is normal for your culture. Silly him. He makes an effort to research whatever those traditions may be, and goes to the absolute maximum on performing them. Lavishes you in gifts of all kinds, constantly giving you compliments. He even goes to the effort of, if all else fails, reading romance novels targeted at women to get a better grasp of what exactly you're supposed to like, and emulates those behaviors.

Overall, though, in later stages Xingqiu slightly more mild for a yan, allowing you to have interactions with others (even if he’s irritated), such as his family, family servants, and his friends, and will even take you outside now and then. However, he will cut off your ties to those friends you had before that weren't mutual friends. He's also one of the least likely yanderes to ever kill someone, and will avoid hurting people if possible -- if anything, he prefers more discreet methods like ruining their life socially or financially.

He's also a lot more moody behind closed doors than he is to most people. His attempts to be oh-so-mature eventually kinda crumble, and the more comfortable he becomes around you, the more he lets his immaturity show.

He could assign family servants to looking for you, but really, he prefers to do it himself, this is about love after all, he doesn't want to assign them to a task they would never perform as diligently as he could. But rather than stalking, he chooses to just kind of... stay with you. He's somehow always where you are, "coincidentally" running into you everywhere and then somehow nothing having anything to do, because he clings to you for hours until you finally have to go home, and even then, he'll just follow you to continue the visit there if he can. No point in watching from a distance when he can be right there with you. And again, he's actually surprisingly unaware that his clinginess is so obvious, he's oblivious to how obvious his infatuation is. Which is a bit odd, considering that he's usually fairly perceptive, but he's so confident in the fact that he is normally perceptive that he allows himself to slip into abnormal behaviors without really realizing it, because he's not constantly on guard in the way some less socially adept yanderes are.

On a genuinely sweet level, there's one little thing he keeps hidden from you. He's actually written a lot of love poetry for you, verses about you and all of the things he loves about you so much... Despite usually being fairly confident in his work, he can't bring himself to show it to you. He's too flustered. And considering your negative reactions to his affection (read: not wanting to be kept like a captive animal), he is actually a bit sensitive to that perceived rejection, which further discourages him. He keeps them all stashed away, stuffed into some fairly hidden drawer. Should you ever come across them and bring them up, it's one of a very few things that will genuinely make him super embarrassed, and he'll just insist they weren't about you, even though the details make it obvious they were, and storm off, never bringing it up again.

How likely are they to kidnap their darling? How quickly will they do so?

It's not kidnapping. It's... relocating. He's far too chivalrous to resort to something so brutish as kidnapping! He'll make sure you want to come with him. He can easily arrange for there to be rumors and reports of... occurrences near your home. Criminal activity, maybe false rumors of mysterious disappearances. Hell, he'll get Chongyun to testify that your house has demonic spirits in it. Something to make you want to move out. Maybe some things start happening to you -- you get the feeling you're being watched, you get threatening messages mailed to your home, you have strangers (read: randos who will do anything for some mora he gives them) telling you you're not welcome in the area and to get out. It's all incredibly confusing and scary and you have no idea what brought it all on!

Luckily for you, you have a rich, generous friend who makes it more than clear you're welcome to come stay with him for a while at any time. Eventually, no matter what it takes, he can push you to a point where you'll take him up on that offer. Something feels... oddly ominous about the way the gates to his family estate close behind you once you walk in. Like they're sealing your fate.

And once step one is done, step two of his plan goes into place - make sure you never want to leave. He can make that happen, there's plenty of space here for you to roam, plenty for you to do, and even when he's not there to entertain you, there's plenty of servants to keep an eye on you and make sure that whenever you try to leave, they'll smile and tell you you can't go just yet miss, there's this or that going on tonight! The young master said he had something important for you when he gets back later! You can't go out now, there was just an attack by some deranged person in the town still on the loose! Just... go back inside for now.

Of course, it's wishful thinking, but he likes to maintain the delusion that he can just keep this going indefinitely, that you won't finally one day put your foot down and tell him you've been stuck here nearly a month and you're ready to at least go visit home. He might even entertain it a bit - sure, you can go visit your old house with him and collect some of your old things to bring back with you, but he makes sure to make it look at though whatever problem he made up is still occurring. Nonetheless, if you're insistent, or at whatever point you finally crack and catch on, demand to know what's going on - well, it's not pretty. He gets into something of a tantrum if you don't comply, but ultimately, in his own little huffy, ticked off way, says you can't leave, and that's that, no more questions allowed, and no more of this ridiculous demand to leave. Of course, darling is taken aback at first, even thinking he's joking, but it soon becomes very clear he's completely serious, and intends to enforce that command.

How difficult is it to escape from them? How do they keep you restrained? How do they deal with attempted escape? 

When he's with you, he's tends to be pretty clingy, both physically and in conversation, never ceasing talking about this or that, and he's actually a sleep-clinger as well, keeping an iron grip around your waist when you sleep. So, whenever he's at his home, he insists on you being in his presence, usually physically touching, so you won't really get an opportunity while he's just in another room or something because you can't get any privacy to begin with. When you're in public, he's incredibly watchful over your every move and incredibly clingy then as well, so don't expect such a chance to arrive either.

Thus, your best bet is to try when you're under the watch of guards, whenever he's gone for whatever reason. They've been instructed to watch you from a distance, you see, he doesn't want them interacting with you directly, so you'll have a few chances here or there where they get distracted or their backs are turned. There will likely eventually also be a time where there's a scheduling error, you end up unsupervised! However, physically getting out of the estate is still difficult. There's still posted guards everywhere. So all in all, it's fairly difficult, especially in broad daylight, the only time he's not with you.

When you're inevitably dragged back kicking and screaming by some poor guards that aren't getting paid enough to deal with this, after getting back and hearing the report he deals with it in that unnerving saccharine way of feigning ignorance to try and get a reaction. Now, he knows you weren't trying to get out... right? Surely you got distracted by a bird or something, right? That's the only reason why you'd ever try to leave, right? It's obvious he knows better, and is just fucking with your head, but it's best not to lie. What he wants is an admittance of guilt and an apology, preferably down on the floor begging for forgiveness.

How easy are they to trick, deceive, or manipulate?

Moderate, leaning towards difficult. He's perceptive, and intelligent, but that intelligence is largely a sort of book-smarts type of intelligence. He's generally crafty and a prankster himself, so pulling things over on him is difficult because he's familiar with the mindset and methods of doing so, but he can be tricked if you put on a believable enough act. Basically, a darling who is a good actor stands a much better chance.

However, he's ultimately a learner. You can get away with some tricks or plots once, but he won't fall for the same thing twice. Any sort of escape or deceit you've tried once, he'll make active efforts to guard against and prevent in the future.

Manipulation, though, you can forget it. He's way too proud and stubborn to be emotionally manipulated, in the end getting his way and what he wants takes priority over making you happy, so don't expect to be able to manipulate him based on the notion of something making you happier.

How lenient are they? What privileges can you have, and what will you be denied?

Fairly lenient, actually. You get a lot of access so long as your behavior is good, so really it's wise to be on your best behavior in the long term of things. He can get you anything you want, especially reading material. And you actually get to go outside, yay! He's like my earlier Childe profile on that -- he likes to go on dates, and he's actually really enthusiastic about it! He's big on date planning, wanting to see everything there is to see and do everything there is to do together. The rules are that you just need to be physically attached to him in some way -- you can hold his hand, grab at his sleeves, or he can do so to you (although he'd prefer you cling to him. He likes the image it projects to people around you). He actually gets really hyped about said dates whenever you plan them, he'll talk to you for hours plotting out all the things to do on this particular outing. At one point, his smile drops and his voice goes low and he tells you that, just a reminder, you know the rules for dates, right? ...Good.

Similarly, if you ask, he'll let you accompany him on more trivial outings as well, say if you'd like to go grocery shopping, and he certainly won't turn down a trip to the bookstore. The same rules apply, although he's a bit less excited for something so mundane.

One thing he won't do, surprisingly, is let you have anything to do with Guhua arts or skills. He won't teach you anything he knows nor let you learn, and if you were a follower of it before, he'll cut off your access to any material. His reasoning is that he just doesn't really think anything to do with combat suits you. You're better off learning more passive skills and hobbies.

In reality? He can't stand the thought of you ever being able to present a challenge to him in that sense. It would kill his ego if you ever managed to do something related to the Guhua arts better than he can, or even half as good as he can.

What kind of rules do they have? What kind of punishment would they use?

Well, to occupy your time, he has things that need cleaning you know... Honestly, he's messy, and he's already used to having maids, so he kinda treats you like one to some degree. Of course, he's active in his little heroism adventures, but when it comes to his own living spaces and such things he can be a bit lazy. So, he'll give you tasks to do sometimes, he likes the power rush too that he gets from ordering you around a bit. It soothes the ego.

Outside of your strolls together, you can't be going outside (and you don't get to choose when you do go on your little walks and dates, he does, although he may grant you the wishes of your begging). Also, don't actually try to talk to the guards. They're there to watch you, nothing more, so pay them no mind, and by no means should you ever have a reason to make conversation with them. If there's an emergency or something you need, you may inform them and get help, nothing more. And really, they're more afraid of this rule than you are -- you'll have difficulty finding one even willing to talk to you, they all take the warnings they've been given very seriously.

He eventually gets nitpicky and makes all sorts of little behavioral rules, it's incredibly obnoxious. But honestly, suffering his bratty tantrums is enough of a punishment, even if he didn't usually follow it up with actual punishment, which, for him, tends to be something perverted in some way.

How do they deal with rivals, or perceived rivals? Will they get rid of them? Will they kill them themselves, or find another way?

He actually gets jealous rather easily, often over people who are no real threat. You can never be too nice to anyone -- even after he introduces you to his father and older brother, he expects you to be happy to meet them... but not that much. If you show too much excitement or happiness over any other being, he gets pouty, especially other men, but also your friends, male or female, family, even animals. His first reaction isn't to kill, rather, just an increase in isolation. Drag you back home and make sure you get a lot of time to yourselves, seeks reassurance that you really love him. If it's his own family, he might get grouchy towards them, snap at them a bit, bitterly drag you back off to your own room, where he'll then proceed to get equally grouchy towards you until you have given him enough reassurance he deems sufficient. In his own time, when you're not around, he makes sure to make it perfectly clear to those around him that they aren't to get in between you two.

He's one of the better yans to have in this regard, though, because he's unlikely to resort to killing anyone. He's got too much of his self-image invested in the idea of morals and justice to be able to do so, he can't delude himself into believing it's right or acceptable. It's not impossible to push him to that point, but it wouldn't just be someone you show any positive reception towards -- if Xingqiu did end up killing a rival, it would have to be one for whom you have very blatantly made clear you have actual romantic and sexual affection, someone who poses a genuine, real threat.

Xingqiu is a sort of open book when it comes to jealousy -- it's obvious to everyone around you that he's mad at someone else for even looking at you, and he doesn't try to hide it. It makes him that much angrier if someone doesn't obey his silent demand to stop interacting with you, doesn't seem fazed by his glares and coldness. He'll meet with them privately and make things clear verbally, since he tells himself maybe they're just dense and too stupid to understand. But they only get one more chance. Cross him twice, and they'll likely find themselves in financial ruin after pulling some strings through the connections of his father and brother.

What would make him significantly more likely to kill someone is someone who poses a legal threat, someone who catches on to what's going on and threatens to get him in serious trouble for it. Even if he tried bribing them, well, they'd likely just pretend to accept, and someone so bold likely wouldn't bow to threats.

This is where he can slip into the mindset of a delusional yandere. He once again projects the image in his head, that knight he wants to be for you, and hey, sometimes to save the princess, the heroes in his martial arts epics have to get their hands dirty, have to unfortunately get blood on their hands for the sake of the greater good. And hey, then it's usually called character development. Most of his fictional heroes tend to have killed at least one person in a sort of epic battle to defend something precious to them. This is no different. Of course, ambushing an unarmed person and running them through hardly counts as an epic battle, but he doesn't really take that part into account.

How easy is it to make them mad? What does their anger look like?

Again, a bit of a spoiled brat at times. He's pouty, gives you the cold shoulder, yet dramatically inserts himself in front of you and whatever you're occupied with so you can't do anything. Basically he's forcing you to acknowledge his pouting and ask him what's wrong so that he can pull the "oh, nothing" until you ask again, and maybe he'll eventually bitterly, passive-aggressively make it clear what you did wrong. The bright side is he's easily soothed - an apology and some groveling will fix his attitude pretty quickly, although he'll have an infuriating air of superiority about it all, telling you he's glad you were able to understand what you did and have, hopefully, learned to correct the behavior in the future.

Worse offenses, things that make him genuinely and truly infuriated, are significantly worse, but rather uncharacteristically for him, he's quiet. And that's what's do frightening about it - for once you almost wish he would blabber or complain or whine like you're so used to, but his fury is dead silent. He moves without speaking, harsh motions that will either shove or tug you to wherever he's trying to maneuver you, and he shows how he feels through actions rather than words - he slams doors and objects, stomps, everything about his body language is frightening enough to make you stiffen and jolt.

Thankfully, Xingqiu is a milder yandere when it comes to severity of things he'll do to you in moments of anger -- he's one that can control himself well enough not to severely hurt you, break bones or anything like that. When it comes to his flashes of anger, at worst he might slap you in his tantrums, but he has at least enough self-control and empathy for you to manage better than a lot of yanderes.

So they see you as above them, beneath them, or equal to them?

Below. It's mostly that he thinks rather highly of himself - he's an important person you know. He saves people, he goes around doing his little vigilante thing, and he's not afraid to flaunt sometimes.

If you happen to also be from a rich family, you can earn a little bit more respect from him, you're cultured and sophisticated. If you're intelligent, you can get some validity in his mind as well. He'll still consider himself more intelligent and higher status, something you'd be mindful to remember, but he'll begrudgingly acknowledge it.

A commoner darling, though? God forbid an airheaded one? Forget about getting any respect - you're more like... A cute little puppy to him. Dumb and loud and clumsy, but nonetheless very cute and loveable. You were just... Made to be something of an accessory to him. And he loves and values you, you mean the world to him really, but that's all the more reason why you should accept your place as such.

How determined are they for you to love them? How hard will they try to make it happen? Or are they content just having you?

It drives him up the wall. You know, his father could arrange his marriage to a ton of young rich daughters in Liyue who would be more than happy about it, but he can't get the attention of ONE girl he likes? It's infuriating. And it makes him all the more insistent to have specifically you.

For Xingqiu, it's a mix of both desperation and a pride thing as well. One one hand he desperately does truly want his feelings to be returned, he wants you to love him, he wants the fantasy he has in his head of you two having a long, happy future together. On the other hand, rejection is also a mark on his pride, and that irritates him beyond comprehension.

So don't expect him to ever give up, really. Unlike a lot of loving yans though, he doesn't blame himself, he directs the rejection hurt outward - maybe you're just so spoiled yourself that nothing is good enough for you. Maybe you're just playing hard to get. Maybe you just think constantly turning him down is funny, it's amusing to you, and, well, he doesn't take lightly to you trying to play games with him. So while he'll continue to try and earn your love, don't be surprised if it results in an irritated mood swing every now and then.

Bonus: Is there anything that makes them unique, in comparison to other yanderes?

A lack of desire/hesitancy to resort to violence or more morally wayward methods. He stakes a lot of his pride and self-image on being a chivalrous, upright, just person, someone who should exemplify right and punish wrong, and unfortunately for him he's not a delusional and can't convince himself that he's doing the right thing. He wants to be a gentleman, your knight in shining armor, the storybook hero he projects in his head that always comes to save his princess, who in turn is receptive and showers him in praise and affection and gratitude. You're the problem, you see, you're not following through on your role in all this.

As such, he really, really hates having to dirty his hands in any way, or do anything that he knows is wrong and will consequently drag him into guilt. Not that he can't be driven to it, because he certainly can, but if it reaches that point, that means you didn't cooperate with him to begin with, which would have made things so much easier, so he'll definitely rid himself of that guilt by redirecting the blame to you, or deluding himself into some bizarre justification.

Another thing... his family's compliance. Honestly? His dad is far too busy and far too done with Xingqiu's shit to expect any help from him. His son tends to be picky, whiny, and demanding -- now that you're here, he's finally satiated, finally actually paying attention to the important matters his father wants him to be involved with, finally not causing nearly as much trouble now that you're around. You can bet he's more than happy to put in some extra funds and personnel to restrain some random commoner, so long as his son is satisfied. His brother doesn't really agree with it all, but his brother wants this and his father is supporting it, so... his hands are tied. He turns a blind eye. And the staff, the servants? They're getting paid far too much to care, and besides, the family is incredibly influential -- should they get fired, it could smear their reputation. It’s kinda really discouraging, being surrounded by so many people, but none of them willing to help you.

General perverseness: how sexual of a person are they? What’s their drive like? How touchy do they get? Do they have any reservations about sexuality?

Bounces back and forth. On one hand, he wants to maintain, again, a gentlemanly and sophisticated image, and in his mind, such people don't normally think about such things, don't behave in lewd or degenerate ways. On the other hand, he's a nasty little perv that secretly sinks to the absolute depths of depravity. There's not much he can't get off to. If his poor brother hadn't been so busy being concerned about the martial arts books under his bed, and had dug further, he would have found that those books are actually just a cover-up for a different set of nasty, gross materials he's spent years accumulating -- some of the most vulgar smut you've ever seen, stuff you question how he ever even got ahold of. Surely the book house wouldn't sell this kind of material... it's honestly a mystery how he manages to get so much.

With his first few interactions, he tends to display the former image, but the more time he spends with anyone, the more that inner little pervert side tends to come out. He's definitely one to get touchy, his light grazing little touches become firmer and more daring, his hands always rest just at a point that's right on the boundary of being inappropriate. Sometimes he'll straight-up grope you and pass it off as teasing. He's also like Kaeya in that he intentionally tries to embarrass you by making your mind go to lewd places, making obvious innuendos and euphemisms, then pretending like he doesn't know why you're looking at him like that... oh, is that what you thought he meant? Wow, you must have such a dirty mind, you little pervert.

How forceful are they? Do they care about your willingness?

Something like rape is barbaric! Of course he would never, eeeeever do something so awful, so unbecoming of someone like him. And he really never will. He's another yan that will simply... Secure your consent by whatever means necessary.

In the end he'll most likely guilt trip and gaslight his way into it. I mean, you're staying with him for free, he took you in, he feeds you and clothes you and you can't show one little bit of gratitude? He treats you like a wife and you can't fulfil your end of that role? Don't be selfish. He loves you so much... He'd do anything for you... don't you want him to be happy too?

He'll try different approaches. If seduction doesn't work off the bat, he'll try gaslighting, if that doesn't work, he'll try guilt tripping, if that doesn't work, he'll make up a bizarre lie - he has to have sex or he'll die, somehow! You get the idea. If you really, really, really push it, he may just resort to a vague threat of sorts - nothing too bad or deadly, but hey, it would sure be a shame if this recent market crash affected your family financially... Not that he knows anyone who has power over the local commerce or anything.

With a more timid, soft darling, you're likely to end up essentially... Dubcon'ed. Half-noncon'ed. He just kinda... Slowly goes for it, and at your protests insists no, it's ok, you'll feel good... And a timid darling too afraid to stop him doesn't exactly fight back or resist, so hey, silence is a green light.

What sort of kinks or fetishes do they have, or would they fill?

Experimentation

As I've said, he's a nasty little perv deep down, and he can get off to, well, a LOT of things. And he loves to try new things out, no matter how weird it may be. He's one you can get into a lot of things involving toys and objects, or physical forms of things applied to the body (think temperature play, hot wax, nipple clamps -- anything that has to do with objects being used on you). Part of the fun of it all is having something new that he's never tried before! Even if it turns out to not be his favorite thing, he'll still enjoy the trying it out, and those things he DOES find himself liking, well, he'll just have to add them to the little mental list of favorites.

And he, honestly, enjoys the little reactions you often have to the notions of this or that -- the shock and sudden fear on your face when he tells you today you'll do this or that, and how you shake your cute little head so rapidly. It's not that bad, he promises, and he's done a lot of research and reading to be sure he does things correctly, so no worries!

Body writing

It's kinda comical because you can't make out a word. With his canonically horrendous handwriting, but fondness for the act of writing, it makes for what essentially looks to you like abstract art on your body -- but just know it's the lewdest, most degrading shit you can think of that he'll get all over your thighs and stomach, marking you as his. If nothing else, he gets off to it, and based on the little things he whispers in your ear, you know it's the same sort of humiliating things. If he takes his time, he can write better, but he gets caught up in the heat of the moment.

Lingerie

He's a fan of lacey, frilly things. And he will definitely invest in as many as he can buy, ornate and intricate things, stockings for your legs that have pretty lace patterns at the top of the thigh, bras and panties that are somehow both lacey and perfectly see-through. He's also a big fan of things that have holes in them for easy access, so you can wear it the whole time. And, if he's feeling meaner, he'll definitely have you walk around in just that for a while -- not out where anyone else in the estate could see you, of course, but in his room with him.

Master/slave

He's not a sadist per se, and doesn't really put you in pain, but he loves your submission. And no better way to exemplify submission than with service. The little bastard already makes you act like a maid outside of bed, but now he likes it even more -- there's a certain rush of power to laying out a command and seeing you follow it. Not to mention the cute look on your warm face as you follow though with the degrading shit. Oh, and you'd better believe he gets humiliating. It's not necessarily degrading in the sense that he says or makes you say bad things about yourself, but rather, just the commands themselves, getting on your hands and knees and crawling over to him, and demanding you slowly strip down. Make it cute, give him a show, you know? He won't be cruel in the things he says about you, yet your pride is still wrecked by the end of it all.

Voyeurism/masturbation instruction

He loves to watch you get off, honestly. It ties into the slave thing to a degree, making you follow every little command, telling you exactly how to touch yourself and move your hands. He'll sigh and tell you no, you're going to fast, you can't do it that fast yet... and if you get too overexcited, he'll just have to make you stop, since you can't seem to listen, and maybe not get to cum until tomorrow, so you can learn to behave better about it next time.

Fluids/Cumplay

He has something of a fixation with all kinds. He loves seeing the trail of saliva from your mouth when you pull off his dick, the way cum drips out of you and runs down your thighs. He also likes seeing it splattered across your face, your chest, in your hair, something about the sight of it nearly has him hard immediately after and ready to go. But he also likes how it will gross you out, leaving you tied up so that you can't wipe it off, are forced to just stay there with it dripping out of your holes and down your skin in a way that makes you shiver. And, really, he loves your fluids too, sweet salty slick that's just so mesmerizing to watch coat his fingers and face. But his favorite thing, probably has to be running his fingers through your own juices and slick, collecting it on his fingers, holding it up to your mouth and telling you to suck them clean. Somehow, it's even hotter when you're licking your own fluids off of his fingers, although you doing so with his is certainly nice too.

How do they feel about pregnancy or babies? Do they want them?

He’d like an heir one day. He's one to want a kid, maybe two, but not a whole lot. Just enough to have a proper family structure, much like the family he was raised in. It's the proper thing to do, he thinks, a natural part of the social order and continuation of a legacy. As a natural extension of his spoiled brat tendencies, he often doesn't think very responsibly in regards to preventing children, so, lucky for him, that ideal will likely come to fruition eventually, if physically possible.

What kind of (nsfw) punishments would they use?

Absolutely uses overstimulation. Whatever sorts of toys exist in Teyvat, he's rich enough that he can easily obtain them - little things he can attach to you and leave buzzing, or thick plugs and internal toys to stuff you full and leave you there to suffer in stimulation and stretching for hours on end. And he doesn't leave you alone, no, he stays close by, leaving you tied up and blindfolded, the occasionally lazy checkup of "oh, how are you holding up over there? I almost totally forgot you were there!" in a mocking tone while he goes about reading his books or practicing or jerking off to the sight.

Also ruined orgasms. Ugh, he's the worst. Gets you right to your peak, likely also after hours of edging, and then just... stops. Right as you reach the high, stops all motion, leaves you whimpering and sobbing, it's literally painful to actually reach it, and then still have that orgasm taken from you. And he'll be sure to remind you that if you were good, you could experience it in full, he could make you feel so good and let you ride out that high... but so long as you insist on being such a stubborn little princess, unfortunately, he can't just give you that. He hates this too, you know, he says. He'd love nothing more than to share pleasure, but you insist on being difficult.

What body parts of their darling do they like the most?

Legs and thighs. He likes the aesthetics of legs, the softness, the way the flesh feels in his hands. The way touching them can make you jolt, the sensitivity, the way they leave little marks so perfectly if he sucks and bites at the skin. It's just really pretty.

#yandere genshin impact #yandere x reader #yandere xingqiu #yandere x y/n #tw: noncon #tw: dark content #tw:shota

[biggest-stupidhead]

Heyy!!

I dont think there's such think as semen donors in aot cannon?

BUT WHAT IF Captain Levi agrees to be the donor to squad leader (or just cadet) reader in a platonic relationship/eventual romance?

Just cute ackerbabies!

Lmao you’re probably right, no semen donors in canonverse. But I honestly love this idea so much, I feel like it would be hard for Levi to make that romantic connection so I could see him making that choice, and maybe it developing into something more!

Summary: Levi can’t wait any longer to start a family, and you are willing to take that step with him.

Word Count: 1.7K

__

You choked on the small sip of tea that you had taken. Catching the small drops of liquid that had escaped your lips.

“Come again now?” You managed to form words after a moment, Levi seemed uninterested as always, those charcoal grey eyes dull and apathetic.

“You heard me just fine, you know that I hate repeating myself.” He scoffed as he shifted so that his leg was crossed over his opposite knee,

“Yes I heard you but....marriage?” You were shocked to say the least. Levi had never shown any prior interest in any long term relationship with anyone, although the two of you had hooked up a handful of times.

“I don’t see why not. We already share a room, not to mention that we-”

“Okay I get it, just...it’s a big commitment and I’m not sure that I’m-”

“Oh please, what else do we have to look forward to anymore? No more fighting, no more political issues to deal with might as well settle down and...” He trailed off, his gaze cast downwards into his cup of tea, which was probably cold by now. You sighed deeply, placing your cup down gently and leaning back into the sofa that the two of you were seated on. His arm was slung casually across the back of the sofa, his finger tips ghosting over your shoulder.

“I know but Levi...marriage?” you were a bit disappointed. He had said it so casually, as if he was asking you if you wanted to run to the market to grab apples.

“If you don’t want to then just say no.” He snapped, clearly getting frustrated, he rose to his feet and began to march towards his desk. You chased after him, catching his wrist. You knew it was difficult for him to express himself, to put things lightly or being considerate to your feelings.

“It’s not that...I’m just a little caught off guard.” You admitted as you held his wrist gently. He let out a breath that he had seemed to have been holding in, he turned and laced his fingers through yours, his other hand diving into his pant pocket. You waited patiently for him to say something, but he only pulled out a small black box. Your heart skipped a beat, this was more how you had pictured being proposed to. He fell onto his knee and opened the box slowly, revealing a modest silver ring with a small diamond embedded in the ring.

“Oh Levi...” Your fingers were still laced with his as he knelt down, you squeezed his hand affectionately.

“I already bought the damn ring, just say yes.” He grunted, averting his gaze as his thumb glided over your knuckle.

“You have a point there.” You chuckled as you gave him a small nod, which was enough of a yes for him.

__

You were married by the end of the month, a simple court house wedding with Armin and Mikasa as your witnesses. Afterwards you had gone home and eaten dinner as usual. Just another week, except now the sex that you and Levi occasionally had, became a hell of a lot more regular. You had no complaints, or at least that was until you were hunched over the kitchen sink puking your guts out. You had missed your period as well, and it didn’t take a genius to know what that meant. You decided to wait until you were certain to tell anyone this however, seeing how difficult pregnancy could be, and the unlikeliness of carrying to full term seemed high.

So you made sure to go to the doctor twice before telling Levi that you were pregnant. He’d had a very similar reaction that you’d had when he had asked to marry you.

He choked on his tea, his hand flying to his chin to catch the liquid.

“Pregnant?” He repeated, and you nodded, leaning against the table where he was sitting.

“H-How long until...”

“Give or take seven months.” You shrugged, trying to put on a brave face, after seeing how frazzled he was you wanted to make this as casual as the rest of your relationship.

“So...we should probably start cleaning out that spare room and-” You cut him off by kneeling down and placing a chaste kiss to his lips.

“We’ve got plenty of time for that, for now let’s just...enjoy not being responsible for a helpless shitty baby.” You said softly as you slowly sank onto his lap. He hummed his approval, but still seemed rightfully on edge.

“We can start cleaning the room in few weeks, there’s no rush.” You assured him as you scattered kisses across his sour face.

“I’ll start tomorrow.” Levi hummed as he tilted his head to the side.

__

Turned out that you were both in way over your head. Around 12 weeks into your pregnancy Hange was pressing her stethoscope to your rapidly swelling belly when she froze. Levi tensed when he noticed this, and you frowned.

“What is it?” Levi asked as he gripped the back of the exam table.

“Nothing’s wrong...just-”

“Doesn’t seem like nothing.” Levi scowled as he watched Hange continue to feel around your stomach.

“That’s cause it isn’t nothing, I’m hearing two heart beats.” Hange told you as she stood to her full height.

“Two heart beats?” You felt feint at the news, you had known that twins ran in your family but you had never expected to have them yourself.  

“Yes, it appears that you are having twins” Hange said with a wide smile as she folded up the stethoscope. Your vision blurred, the worry that you had been experiencing prior to the appointment had doubled along with the number of children you were having. 

“No shit.” Levi replied breathily as he held your shoulder firmly. 

“If I were you guys I’d go clean out that room now.” Hange advised as she cleaned up the space that you had been using as a makeshift exam room in her office. 

“I’ll get right on that.” Levi said, shooting you a concerned look as he helped you up onto your feet. 

__

The twins were born premature, the labor itself wasn’t nearly as bad as you had expected. But you realized that it wasn’t that bad because of how small they were. The only reason that they both survived was thanks to the Marleyan medical equipment that had been shipped over courtesy of Zeke and Yelena. You and Levi spent countless hours in the hospital as you awaited for the twins to be discharged. In that window of time you decided on names, it was difficult but you decided on Harrison and Harper. You weren’t surprised to find that they both took after their father, dark bluish grey eyes with a full head of black hair. The one thing they seemed to have gotten from you was your facial structure and your complexion. 

It was a massive relief to bring them home, now instead of staying up until the wee hours in the hospital you could do it in the comfort of your own home. 

One particular evening you were walking laps with Harrison, gently patting his back as you bounced off of your heels as he cried. On your third lap around the entire cottage, you peeked into the nursery to see Levi reclined on the rocker with Harper fast asleep. His eyes were closed, his naked chest rising and falling evenly as he slept. You envied him as you rubbed circles on Harrison’s back once more. His cries slowly died out and you managed to drag yourself to your bed and place Harrison down gently. Using the extra pillows, you managed to make a small barrier between him and yourself as well as the edge of the bed. It wasn’t often that you got to do this, seeing as you usually slept with Levi. But Harrison seemed content with laying in his dad’s spot for the night. His big blue eyes were watching your hair sway over his face as you adjusted the pillows. He cooed and babbled for a few minutes before falling silent, his tiny breaths putting you at ease. 

It couldn’t have been but an hour later when the sound of Harper crying woke you once more. Levi was pacing around the same way that you had been earlier before he finally managed to put her at ease. He returned to your room to see you sitting up, Harrison fast asleep at your side. 

“Care to join us?” You asked, voice gruff with sleep, or rather the lack there of. 

“Would I ever.” Levi groaned as he placed Harper in the pillow barrier with Harrison who was still fast asleep. He managed to squeeze onto the bed, laying on his side like you were as the two of you watched Harper sooth herself into sleep. His gaze left the small baby in favor of studying your features. 

“What would you have done if I had never asked you to marry me?” The question caught you off guard, your fingers were tracing the soft features of your babies. You hummed in thought but the answer was already on the tip of your tongue. 

“I’d have asked you to marry me.” You said with a wry smile and Levi rolled his eyes at your cheesy reply. 

“That’s not what I meant...well not really.” Levi grumbled, you paused again in thought. What would you have done? Certainly no more military work, that chapter was over for you. 

“Maybe I’d open a bakery. My grandmother left me all of her recipes. What would you do?” You asked, finger running along the soft dark locks of hair that were growing from Harrison’s head. 

“I’d open a tea shop.” Levi answered quickly, his own gaze back on the babies, his hand resting on Harper’s stomach, rising and falling with her breathing. 

“Why don’t we just say fuck it and do it?” You asked, not sure if you were serious or if it was the lack of sleep talking. 

“There was that space for lease last time we went into town...” Levi offered thoughtfully. 

“Yeah, we could fix it up and open a cafe.” You said excitedly as you leaned over the sleeping babies in hopes of coaxing a kiss from Levi. He nodded in agreement before leaning over and planting a kiss to your lips. 

“We’ll talk about it in the morning. Go to sleep.” Levi sighed as he stretched out on his side, and closing his eyes. You smiled and mirrored him, your hand resting on Harrison’s stomach now as well, your fingertips brushing his. 

You knew that you’d made the right choice. Marrying Levi was the best decision that you’d made in a long time. It may not look like the typical love story, but you knew that it was real, realer than most relationships. And you wouldn’t want to have it with anyone else. 

#hange zoe #levi ackerman #levi aot #aot fanfiction #levi x reader #armin arlert #eren jeager #eren mikasa armin #erwin smith #mikasa ackerman #levi fanfiction #levi is a dad #levi x y/n #levi x pregnant reader #levi x reader insert #levi/reader #levi x fem!reader

[zannadu]

Now nobody asked for this but I’m going to do it anyway.

Includes: Katsuki Bakugou, Eijiro Kirishima, Denki Kaminari, Hanta Sero, and Mina Ashido

Warnings: fluff, mentions of sex, mentions of oral sex, kissing, and just dumb funny shit

MHA as Stoners

Katsuki Bakugou

It varies how fast he gets high, but his favorite way to smoke is with a simple joint

Okay this man will refuse to do any at first

But eventually will give in after the rest of the Bakusquad convinces him

(Though he will say “whatever I’ll do it”)

After the first smoke sesh with the squad he began to enjoy it more so he now does it more often.

If you are with him, he will either have a hard time being around her or will want to be next to you the whole time.

If you hold him he will act nonchalant but inside he will be exploding (no pun intended)

He will do his best to cuddle without making you uncomfortable.

He will get the munchies bad and insist you come with him to get more snacks every thirty minutes

He is much more open with his feelings and willing to talk more without yelling

He calms down a lot

He will show much more affection to you around people than he normally does.

Cuddling, kissing, squeezing, biting the whole PDA shabang.

He will not give two shits what everyone else thinks.

And when he finally has you alone, that’s when it gets a little hot and heavy. 👀

And he doesn’t even mean to.

Not that you’re complaining. ✌️

—————————————

Katsuki’s hands snaked their way around your waist and his face found a home in the crook of your neck.

“You know, if you want to cuddle, you could just say so,” you stated, resting your hand on his locked arms. He let out a soft groan against your skin. His breathing was slow and his eyes foggy. He squeezed you tighter and moved his hands to intertwine them with yours. His heavy eyes looked up and around the room meeting with everyone else’s eyes.

“You're touchy tonight,” Sero snickered, taking another hit off the joint that currently sat, squished in between his fingers.

Katsuki did nothing but roll his eyes and squeezed your fingers. He placed his mouth closer to your ear, his breath just tickling your ear lobe. Suddenly his teeth began to nibble on your ear, sending shivers down your arms, evident with the goosebumps now arise on your delicate skin.

“What do you say that we go to my room, I want you, ” his voice was low and husky. His fingers released from yours and fiddled the hem of your clothing and caressed your soft skin. His teeth began to but harder, causing you to gasp. He then continued to nibble slowly moving to your neck. How could you say no?

Eijiro Kirishima

It doesn't take very much to get him high so his favorite way to smoke is with a dab pen

Now usually this baby boy is sweet and manly

But when he's been smoking he gets VERY hungry

Like he will eat the entire kitchen.

He will space out a lot but will still listen to you if you're trying to talk to him

(or he will try to)

“Wait, what did you say?”

He isn't afraid of PDA either however he will wait till he's in private with you.

(as he should, he's respectful)

You might need to help him to his room

And try not to let him hug you until you're in bed because he will NOT let go until morning.

He is very sentimental and will give the BEST advice

“Babe, will you come to get food with me please🥺?”

“Kiri, you have a whole pint of ice cream, three bags of chips, AND meat buns. You don't need anything else😂”

He would pout omg.

He would fall asleep if you play with his hair in an instant

—————————————

Kirishima laid in your lap, and you picked up each piece of his hair and gently let it fall. He had showered and decided on no gel, therefore his hair is silky soft.

“Babe, why did you let me eat so much?” he groaned looking up at you. All you could do was laugh, being high just made everything funnier. He began to pout which ceased your laughter.

“I tried to stop you, but you wouldn't listen, ” you almost began to laugh again. He groaned and held his stomach.

“Next time, don't let me eat so much, ” he squeezed his eyes so much. You continued playing with his hair and smiled at the tired boy.

His eyes began to close and he looked up at you and soon he was out cold.

Denki Kaminari

His favorite way to smoke it with a pipe. Just makes him feel cool and the glass is trippy

Denki is usually very goofy and doesn't take things seriously, but when he's high he gets very philosophical

Like this man will talk about how space is so big and how a fish finds its way home.

Anything that will make you question your existence

He won't even realize what he's talking about until he looks at the rest of the group who is just starting wide-eyed and thinking about their whole existence on earth.

For some reason, he seems smarter than he lets people believe.

If he's with you he will be resting his head in your lap

He will have deep conversations sigh you

He will unknowingly rub small circles on your thighs while he's lost in thought💕

Continues to pick on Bakugou and how he's much different stoned

Usually wants alone time with you afterward, he feels safer when you sleep with him

He likes to be the little spoon

—————————————

Denki sat on the bed and leaned against the wall. His eyes studied the ceiling, his mouth slightly agape in a soft smile as he got even more lost in his thoughts. His eyes were almost entirely closed. The hushed murders from the other teens seemed to entirely disappear. The soft music that was also playing just took his mind further into the abyss.

“Hey do you guys think it's crazy that one muscle in your body is the reason you are alive, and if it just decides to quit one day you will just topple over and die?” Denki continued to stare up at the ceiling. The entire room went silent, the only noise was the light music.

“Dude what the fuck, ” sero looked at home from down on the floor. Denki shifted his head to look at the rest of the gang who were all just staring at him.

“What, I'm just saying, ” he shrugged his shoulders. You just looked at him and laughed. That was the most random thing to say and he probably would do it again soon.

“C’mon baby let's get you to bed, ” you grabbed his hand and went out of the room making sure to say goodnight to everyone. One thing was for sure, Denki could not WAIT to be cuddled.

Sero Hanta

This man's the og stoner and will hit a bong over everything else.

When Sero is stoned he makes sure everyone else is having fun

He makes sure everyone is comfortable with what they are doing

If someone doesn't know how to do something, like hit a bong, he will gladly show them

He is a weed mom

The best kind of mom honestly

If someone is paranoid or worried about an adult finding out or getting in trouble, he will try his darn hardest to calm them down

Has the necessities

Carries gum, eye drops, perfume or cologne on him at all times.

Has a pipe on him always

Provides the goods 🌿

Now let me tell you, this man gets HELLA horny when he's stoned

If everyone is settled in and comfortable he will turn his attention to you.

He doesn't even hide it.

“Mi amor, you look beautiful right now”

He will make you so flustered you will have to leave the room.

—————————————

“Sero, what are you doing?” you ask as me scoots over to you across the floor. You can't help but laugh. The cheesy grin on his face was everything at the moment. It seemed like you were the only two in the room.

“Just coming over to check on you, mi amor, ”he purred as he placed his finger under your chin to make you look into his eyes. His eyelids were heavy, the red tint covered by a foggy gloss, just made him that much hotter. He blinked slowly and began to inch closer to your lips.

“Sero, ” you breathed out right before gently placed his lips on yours, moving to pull your body impossibly closer to his. His lips worked over yours as you found your rhythm. He pulled away looking up at your eyes from your lips.

He leaned forward again, this time next to your ear so no one else could hear but you.

“I can't wait till everyone leaves so I can finally find out how good you taste.”

Mina Ashido

This girl's favorite way to smoke is a simple joint

She is great at rolling

(cuz she's good with her fingers if you know what I mean)

She is definitely in charge of the music and the vibes it puts off

But will also try and get everyone to go out and do stuff like getting food or to annoy Aizawa.

She also is the person laughing the most

She will laugh at literally anything

Kirishima making jokes about food or how hungry he is, Denki just acting dumb, or getting a rise outta Bakugou, whatever it is she will be laughing

This girl is part of the alphabet mafia and you can't change my mind🏳️‍🌈

Now she's is a cutie when it comes to relationships

She won't act inappropriately in front of everyone else out of respect for you

However, when she gets you alone that's a whole other story

—————————————

“C’mon y/n, let's go to my room. I have something to show you, ” Mina smirked at you and squeezed your hand in hers. You had no other choice to follow her as you were already headed out of Sero’s room and straight to her room. You didn't even get a chance to say goodbye to everyone.

You finally made it to her room and she closed the door behind you.

“What did you want to show me?” you asked sitting on her bed. You look around the very pink room and back to her standing in front of you. Mina looked you up and down and reached out to grab your cheeks gently with her hands. She leaned down and kissed you gently, working for her hands down to the hem of your shirt, eager to get it off. Her eyes glazed over and watched your every movement as you striped your clothes. Her fingers grazed over the sides of your arms and you went back in for a kiss. She pushed you farther back onto the bed, straddling her legs around your waist.

“This is going to be fun, ” she said breathlessly and pulled you in yet again for another lustful kiss.

Asks are open!!! This is my first official post on here, advice would be fantastic, or if you have any ideas that would be awesome! Thank you for reading😁❤️

#mha manga #mha bakugou #bnha bakugo katsuki #bakugou katsuki #kirishima #Eijiro Hiroshima #Bakugou x reader #kirishima x reader #sero x reader #denki x reader #mina x reader #mina ashido #denki Kaminari #mha imagines #imagines #my hero academia imagines #hanta sero #my hero academia #stoner #x reader #dynamight #bakugou fluff #bakusquad #headcannons #mha headcanons

[aomine-ryo]

Hii! May I have Akashi and Kuroko reactions to sex with their s/o being interrupted by a phone call? Love your page! I have a lot of reading! ;3

Aww I’m happy you like my page :)) I hope you enjoy this one too xx

Scenario: Akashi and Kuroko’s reactions to sex with their s/o being interrupted by a phone call (nsfw)

Akashi

It wasn’t very often that you could get intimate with Akashi considering that he was usually busy and constantly around people. Of course, he made it a point to allocate at least a few hours of alone time with you each week, and honestly, it never failed to become the highlight of his week.

You’d often hang out in your house since his one was never truly empty, considering that his maids and butlers were there. You kind of wished they weren’t there though, because his bed was so much bigger than yours that it seemed like it would be much more fun.

So the two of you laid down in your bed, cuddling with each other as you conversed about anything and everything. Well, it was mostly you talking while Akashi listened intently and offered advice and comments whenever he felt like it.

“You know, you could talk too. Your life is much more interesting than mine after all, Mister Emperor,” you said teasingly when you reached the end of your many rants.

“No, it’s all the same old boring stuff,” he shrugged.

“Have you tried to stab anyone recently?” you joked, making him chuckle and shake his head slightly.

“No, not really. People are testing me though,” he played along, fingers twirling the ends of your hair.

Your arms hugged him tighter and you breathed in the comforting scent of his cologne. “Why can’t you stay here forever? You wouldn’t have to think of stabbing anyone then— actually, I might test your patience too, not gonna lie.”

Akashi leaned down and pressed his lips against yours, mainly because he loved you, but also to stop you from spewing any more nonsense. “Staying here with you sounds perfect,” he muttered with a smile.

Akashi tilted his head ever so slightly to deepen the kiss as a warm hand met your cheek. As his tongue made its way into your mouth, he slowly rolled on top of you, trapping you between his arms. He continued to make out with you for some time, his lips slowly making its way down to your neck to leave a few marks.

One by one, clothing was discarded, eventually leaving both of you completely naked as Akashi hovered above you, staring down at you with passion burning in his bright eyes. He had a habit of doing this a lot; he loved to just admire the way you looked underneath him, and as sweet as you thought it was, it was also slightly frustrating as you grew more and more desperate for his touch.

He very well knows this though. He just liked to tease you like this because he wanted to hear you beg for him. And of course, you didn’t fail to do exactly that.

“Sei, can you please do something?” you whined.

“What do you want me to do, my love?” he said sweetly, a devious grin spreading across his face.

“I want you to... f-fuck me,” you said, that last part being in what was barely a whisper as your face flushed red.

“Is that so?” he said, acting all high and mighty. The red haired boy leaned in close and you could feel his breath on your face, sending shivers throughout your entire body. “Well, how could I say no to my princess?” he whispered with a smirk before he pushed his lips against yours once again.

Getting caught up in the kiss, you didn’t notice his other movements until you felt him shove himself inside you with no warning, causing you to gasp and pull away from his lips. Your hands that were previously roaming mindlessly around his back suddenly came to a halt as your nails dug into his skin.

“Everything okay? Do you want me to move?” he asked, consideration in his tone as he watched you squirm underneath him.

You mustered a slight nod as your eyes were pressed shut, trying to concentrate on adjusting to his length. Akashi slowly began to move, and you felt his hand caress your cheek, tucking a piece of your hair behind your ear. The tenderness of his touch brought you comfort as your eyes slowly opened, and you were greeted by the sight of his bright eyes looking down at you with adoration.

Eventually, you got used to it and pleasure began to overtake your system. “Sei, faster p-please,” you whined.

Without hesitation, he did as he was told, the sounds of your moans getting increasingly louder as he picked up the pace. He was completely entranced by the way you made him feel. Even the way you left scratches on his back felt good.

However, the euphoria he felt was suddenly interrupted by the sound of his phone ringing from the bedside table. “Just ignore it,” you said softly after noticing his evident annoyance, not wanting to lose contact with him.

Akashi was never one to not pick up a call. He was a busy person, sure, but just like he expected everyone to respond to his calls, he held the same expectations for himself. So with a sigh and an apologetic look on his face he slowly pulled out, causing you to pout. “It’ll only take a minute or two, I’m sorry,” he said, pecking your lips before reaching for his phone.

It was a call from the Rakuzan team manager. He was supposed to meet up with his team for endurance training in about ten minutes, but he seemed to have lost track of time with you. As his hand mindlessly rubbed your thigh, he quickly apologised and told her that he’d probably be late because he’s “occupied with something important,” before finally ending the call.

“Do you have somewhere to be, Sei?” you questioned as he set the phone down and returned his complete attention back to you.

“Yes but I told them I’d be late.”

“You can leave if you want to, it’s alright—“

“I’m going nowhere until your legs are shaking and you’re screaming my name, princess,” he interrupted, his tone as serious as ever.

Akashi was fully aware that his presence at the training was essential, however that only gave him all the more reason to not take it easy on you. He felt frustrated at the fact that it interrupted his time with you. Of course that frustration would be taken out on you in the form of some very rough sex— but you didn’t mind that at all. And as promised, Akashi didn’t leave until he was sure that he’d absolutely wrecked you.

Kuroko

There was nothing that Kuroko loved more than spending his afternoons cuddling with you. The comfort of knowing that you were right there in his arms brought him happiness that was immeasurable, to the point where a smile would be spread across his usually expressionless face.

There were times where he’d be perfectly content spending the entire day lazing around with you in his arms. Other times though, he’d have energy to spare.

For instance, it was a regular Saturday afternoon that he was spending at your house, and he was extra affectionate with you. Smothering your face in kisses and tangling his legs with yours under the sheets as you laid in bed together, the blue haired boy seemed rather overexcited— not that you minded. With the way he was acting, you knew exactly how it would end as you began to feel clingier and clingier. All you had to do was patiently wait to see what Kuroko would do.

It didn’t take long for Kuroko’s soft lips to end up on yours, his eagerness evident in the way his tongue slipped into your mouth after mere seconds of kissing him. Soon after he made his way down to your neck, your clothes slowly ended up on the floor, piece by piece. Eventually, all that was left was your naked bodies pressed against each other, growing more and more desperate for some action.

Deciding to take control of the situation, you rolled yourself over so that you were on top of him. Looking down into his gorgeous blue eyes, you smiled as your hand began to stroke his member. You watched for some time as he bit his lip to pull himself together before hovering your hips above it. Slowly, you sank down onto his length, letting out a drawn out moan at the way it filled you up.

It took a few moments, but you eventually adjusted to it, and you began to move up and down, gaining deep groans from your pale skinned boyfriend. “Y/N, you feel so good,” he moaned, unable to stop thinking about how gorgeous you looked when you were on top of him. He swore that he would gladly have this be the only sight he sees for the rest of his life.

Suddenly, the sound of a loud ringing caused both of you to snap out of it as your bodies shuddered in surprise. You looked over to your bedside table and noticed that you were getting a call from a friend of yours. You looked over at Kuroko questioningly.

“You should get that,” he nodded, though there was a hint of annoyance in his expression as he didn’t like getting interrupted.

With an apologetic look, you got up and sat at the edge of the bed to answer the phone call. A part of Kuroko wanted to tell you to ignore it, but he didn’t want you to risk missing an important phone call, so he say up on his elbow and waited patiently for you to finish. The call didn’t go on for too long thankfully, however Kuroko did end up absentmindedly kissing your neck and shoulders while he waited, bringing a goofy grin onto your face.

The moment the call was over, Kuroko practically pounced onto you, letting his hands roam around your body as his lips reconnected with yours. Perhaps he was a little impatient for that call to end. Without losing contact with your lips for even a moment, Kuroko ended up laying on top of you.

Before he continued what was previously interrupted, he pulled away, finally giving you some time to breathe as you looked up at him. “Is everything okay with your friend?” he asked— he was still concerned about you after all.

“Yeah, it wasn’t anything important. It’s a shame we lost time over it,” you replied.

As Kuroko began to line himself up against you once more, a small smile appeared onto his face, “It’s alright. We can always make up for it. So why don’t we get to it?” he said simply before pushing himself into you.

A surprised gasp escaped your lips as you tossed your head back in pleasure. All that extra waiting seemingly made him more hungry for you. Yearning for more of that euphoric feeling he felt prior to the interruption, there was no way he way going to go easy on you now.

#kuroko no basket #kurokos basketball #kuroko no basket x reader #knb #kuroko tetsuya #akashi seijuro x reader #kuroko tetsuya x reader #akashi x reader #akashi seijuro

[glowingbadger]

How are there no SFW and nsfw modern day Felix HCs? I must remedy this.

Ah, I actually have a few Modern AU Felix thingies- they're just scattered throughout posts about multiple different characters lol. You can find them all in my masterlist, but lemme go ahead and compile everything I've written for him so far~ ((There aren't many NSFW ones yet, so if anyone has a nice Modern AU spicy concept for Felix for me to toy around with, I'm all ears :3))

Felix (FE3H) x Reader, Modern/College AU

SFW (nsfw below the cut):

From the BL Modern AU hcs: He’s a business major, but his heart clearly isn’t in it- he’s only doing it because he’s expected to run his father’s company some day. He’s at the gym every time you go (presumably plenty of times when you’re not there too), before you realize it, you start looking for him there. You tell yourself it’s just because you admire his motivation. He catches you staring though one day, and calls you out. Somehow, you stumble your way through introductions, but before long he’s telling you how you’re not stretching properly at all, how your jogging pace is inefficient, and just like that, you’ve got a gym partner who eventually becomes the most secretly-sweet boyfriend.

From 'modern AU w/ insecure Reader': He’s a funny one about this, honestly- his feelings for you are strong and enduring, and because of the intensity of what he feels, he does have a hard time understanding what you’re insecure about. He’ll grab your hand and grumble that, “I’m your boyfriend, aren’t I? I wouldn’t waste my time if I didn’t love you.” He’s also definitely one of those types who wants to help in concrete ways, so he’ll interrogate you about what’s making you anxious and what he’s screwed up- he knows he’s not good at romantic stuff, but he’s willing to do absolutely anything to make you happy. He will never admit it but he somehow finds himself lurking on relationship forums to better understand how you’re feeling

From escape room BL hcs: This poor boy. He does not understand why you would intentionally put yourself in the position of being trapped somewhere for fun. But you get so excited and so into the whole thing that he simply can’t help wanting to help you if he can- not that he would ever admit it. It’s just that your moods are so contagious to him and he can’t help wanting to see that adorable, triumphant smile you give when you’ve figured out the next clue. Absolutely the type to get impatient if one code or riddle is taking too long, and will 'test out’ the structural integrity of the doors, walls and locks.

From 'modern AU soft hcs': - He’s so bad at being soft, but he wants to be for you, but also doesn’t want to be because ew feelings. Which he has a lot of. This is why the main way he expresses his affection is through physical contact. It’s mostly in private, where he can be super cuddly with you- but in public, he’ll still find times to lightly brush his hand against yours, or an excuse to “fix” your hair, mumbling, “It’s flying all over the place, hold still-” even though it’s really not that out of place, he just wants a reason to touch you.

- Felix is a funny one to bring your problems to. He’s actually a surprisingly good listener for someone he cares about, so he’s happy to just hold onto your hand and listen to you vent about whatever’s bothering you. If it’s an interpersonal problem, he’ll probably offer to confront or straight up fight whoever is giving you trouble, which might at least get you to laugh, even though he fully means it. But for a more serious problem, he’ll quietly wipe away your tears and remind you, “Hey, listen- you just… keep living your life as you, okay? You can’t be anyone else, and I don’t want you to be.”

- He secretly loves it when you play with his hair. While he’s studying or gaming, he likes to lean back against the edge of his bed or a couch and have you sitting behind him brushing out his hair, or even braiding or pulling it up for him if you like. He finds your touch incredibly soothing, and there have even been times when he’s spaced out a bit and completely forgotten what he was doing because he was just enjoying your nails along his scalp and your fingers through his hair. Honestly, it’s a bit like scratching a cat’s ears- he’ll even subconsciously lean against you if he’s not careful.

From general modern AU hcs:

- he’s very cat-like in how he chooses to show his affection. He’ll almost never verbally express it, and to many, he comes across as cold. But if you know what to look for, the signs are incredibly obvious. The mere fact that he goes out of his way to just be near you, the fact that he’ll jump to your defense the moment someone dares to give you a hard time, small gifts that he’ll give with a carefully neutral, “It’s not a big deal, it just seemed like the kinda thing you’d like.”

- Once you’ve been together for a bit though, he’s extremely physically affectionate in private- only in private, mind you. Alone in your dorm or apartment, he’s very cuddly, holding you close to him at any chance he gets and resting his chin on your shoulder, or nuzzling against your neck. Sometimes he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it, but he’ll run a hand along your back or your waist when he moves by you, or his thumb will rub little circles along your thigh when you’re sitting together. Don’t call him out on it though- he’ll lurch away immediately and be too shy to touch you for an hour or two.

- His friends definitely know he’s developed a thing for someone very early on. He tends to be notorious among his friends for never checking his phone or responding to messages, and when he does respond, it’s in five words or fewer. Once he’s started getting close to you though, he keeps his phone in his hand while he’s hanging out with the other Blue Lions, glancing down at the screen every ten seconds, and completely impossible to communicate with when he’s thinking of what to send you when you do message him.

NSFW 18+ v

- he’s the type to feel most comfortable initiating sex when you’re just relaxing in one of your rooms together. In the middle of a movie or playing video games together- or even just sitting quietly and studying together on his bed- he glances over at you and it just hits him that you’re his, you chose him, and damnit he’s just so crazy into you. He leans over and kisses you without a word, then slides his tongue past your lips, pulling you closer until you can very evidently feel that he needs you now.

- His roommate (Sylvain) is quite the renowned flirt on campus, and likes to tease Felix by openly hitting on you in front of him. All three of you know that it’s genuinely in jest, and that Sylvain would never push things TOO far… but that doesn’t stop Felix from fucking you extra hard and deep once you have the place to yourselves again. He’s generally not very vocal during sex, but if his insecurities have been prodded a bit, he’ll lift your legs into a mating press and pound his cock into you, groaning out, “tell me you’re mine, Y/N. C'mon- again, louder-!”

- Overall, isn’t much one for intimacy in public places- but once or twice, you’ll encounter a bit of an exception. Gym dates with Felix are generally common and comfortable enough, and he’s actually very helpful in improving your technique and efficiency when working out. But he won’t let on for quite some time that it also turns him on immensely to see your body moving like this, and the scent of your sweat and pheromones drive him near feral. If it’s late enough at night and there’s no one else to overhear you, he’ll drag you into one of the changing room showers and fuck you breathless against the wall, his tongue dragging along your neck and his hands groping every inch of you he can reach.

#felix hugo fraldarius #felix x reader #fire emblem #feh #fe3h #fire emblem three houses #fire emblem modern #modern au #fire emblem headcanons #fire emblem x reader #x reader #felix fire emblem

[differentkettleoffishalltogether]

I’m On Fire [Chapter 2]

With her sister’s wedding fast approaching and her Mom hounding her about finding a date, Y/N makes a terrible decision that lands her and her least favorite genius in a confusing situation.

Chapter Summary: Y/N and Spencer start to put a plan together.

A/N:  I’ve got a head cold at the mo’ but I had to get a covid test just in case so I’m not allowed leave my room till I get the results! So enjoy a bonus chapter while I wallow on my own for like 36 hours :( On a positive note, thank you guys all so much for the response to chapter 1 I really didn’t see that coming! I’ve tagged everyone who asked, let me know if you wanna be added

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem Reader

Category: Fake Dating, Enemies to Lovers, (Eventual) Smut, Fluff, Angst, it’s a Slow Burn Baby

Warnings: Cursing, some NSFW language/themes

Word Count: 6.1k

Previous Chapter -- Next Chapter

Series Masterlist

Masterlist 

"Are you coming up or what?"

The question was still ringing in my ears. It caught me completely off guard. 'Up' as in up to Spencer's apartment? Where he lived? I knew he lived somewhere in theory, just like I knew deep down that he wasn't made in a test tube. 

Without noticing I've undone my seatbelt and I'm hopping out of the car, following him around to the front door. I guess I am coming up.

Spencer's apartment is more cosy than I thought it was going to be. It's warm and lived in. It's not big, but I think that might be what makes it homely. Something about the way he behaves had me thinking it would be fully decked out in stainless steel or glass or something. But it wasn't pristine, it was messy. 

There were books bursting from the shelves that lined the walls of the apartment, along with books laid open over nearly every surface in the place, it looked like he was in the middle of reading all of them, and honestly, I didn't doubt it. Maybe I'd misjudged him. He even had some photos of what looked like his family, and maybe friends, even some of the BAU, lining his walls or propped up on his mantle. He had little trinkets and souvenirs on his shelves too, evidence that he'd been around the country for reasons other than a case. I would never admit it to him but there was a real charm to the place.

Once we got inside he took off his bag and suit jacket, tossing them on the desk just inside of the door. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do, and he seemed to pick up on my awkward energy.

"You can make yourself at home" he said, his confident streak remaining. I had no idea what to do with that. What would even make me comfortable in Spencer Reid's apartment? I took a seat on his sofa and just sat with my hands resting in my lap. Really not even sure where I should look without feeling like I was invading his privacy. Even though I wanted to. I think it was morbid curiosity, looking for clues on who this man might actually be outside of the BAU. What I really wanted to do was stand up and walk around, soaking in every bit if this place as if it would help me decipher our messy relationship.

He returned to the living room a few moments later, two mismatched mugs in his hands. He places one in front of me on the coffee table. I pick it up and take a sip. It's lemon and ginger, how did he know what kind of tea I liked? I held the mug in my hands inhaling the steam in an effort to relax. When I look up he's watching me, arms folded across his chest.

"So, how does this thing work. What's the game plan?" I honestly have no real idea. This evening really got away from me, I was still expecting to snap out of it and wake up in my bed at any moment.

"Well I can't say I've ever been in a Sandra Bullock movie before either so this is uncharted territory for me too" I say with a chuckle, trying to ease the tension. Even a little. I can see him crack a small smile but hides it almost instantly, his face hardening again.

"My sister, Margot, she's getting married in like 4 months." I can feel myself tense and I shake out my shoulders, I have to remind myself that he's agreed to this already, "Fuck it, I'm just going to be honest with you. My Mom's mostly freaked out that I'm too attached to this job and that I'll just never find someone again." I shouldn't have said again, fuck. I hope he didn't pick up on that. Who am I kidding. "Even though, I'm not sure I care if I do or don't?" he doesn't say anything, like he's waiting for me to continue. I know I've shared a little too much already but I keep going.

"Margot's 2 years younger than me, I introduced her to her fiancé Philip, we met in college, he's a sweetheart. But since they've gotten engaged Mom's gotten exponentially weirder. I think she's convinced I'm fully going to die alone, as if that would be the worst thing that could ever happen? Anyway, she's been trying to auction me off to all these guys, using this wedding as an excuse. I'm not sure how much of that phone call you actually heard earlier but Mom was trying to sell me on this guy, David, and I just… snapped." I look up at Spencer and he unfolds his arms, leaning in ever so slightly coaxing the story out of me.

"David, he uh, he worked for my father for a while back in high school, filing documents and stuff, busy work mostly. He used to make out with me when he was at our house after school, but then he'd ignore me in the halls the next morning. I know it's because I was a pariah back then or something but I didn't want to think about it today and I just got worked up. I shouldn't have let on that you were my date, I was just going to ask if I could bring Garcia or something, and I'm sorry." I cover my face in my hands, "I'm insane, you can back out if you want to."

I can hear him move from his spot on the opposite side of the sofa, he takes my wrists and gently pulls my hands from my face. He looks into my eyes, "I'm in this now Y/N, what do you need me to do?" he asks, and there's a genuine earnest in his voice that I think I've only ever heard a handful of times. And it's never been directed at me.

"Okay, well we've got a few months before you ha–, wait, fuck!" I throw my head back, there's already a complication, "shit" I curse under my breath. His eyebrows knit together, sitting upright.

"What's the matter?" he asks.

"I forgot about my Mom's 50th, it's next month. They've got this whole huge party planned back home in upstate New York. I've gotta go and they'll probably want to meet you, or they're gonna have a load of questions for me at least. I can try and get you out of it I'm sure"

He gets that cocky look again, he shakes his head "I don't know, I've always liked a bit of competition" he reclines back into his corner of the sofa, taking a satisfied sip from his own mug before speaking again. "You know, if I've got to learn enough to pass as your boyfriend in a month, surely that means you've got to learn enough to pass as my girlfriend within the month, no?"

Oh god. What have I done, why didn't I think this far ahead. "I mean, yeah I guess you're right." I had to remember he was doing me a favor. I had to get over myself. "Okay, if you're sure you're up for that?" I ask, and he nods, and I think he looks excited, or maybe he just finds the whole situation funny.

"If anyone's up for the competition it's you" he says, and I'm not sure if that's a compliment or a dig but I nod in agreement.

He takes another sip of his tea, collected and relaxed. I can't help but notice how at ease he is when he's in his own surroundings. I'm so used to seeing him sitting at a desk surrounded by paperwork, or combing through file after file in the make-shift office in a small-town police station, usually flustered or anxious, or antagonizing me whenever he wasn’t. This was a different Spencer. Completely in control, at ease.

"Alright, shall we get started then, we can't really afford to waste any time can we?" he was actually sort of right, so I nodded. It was only now occurring to me that I'd have to share parts of my personal life with him if I wanted this plan to work. We already knew the basics about each other, I'd read his file when I started at the BAU, I'd read everyones. And I feel like it was safe to presume he'd done the same.

His eyes bore directly into mine as he leaned forward, I think he was enjoying how uncomfortable I must've looked.

"How about I ask you some rapid-fire questions and you have to answer 'em?" he asks, and it's as good of a plan as any, and I can't think of any other suggestions, so I nod.

"Okay, shoot." I say, unsure and nervous, so I brace myself. I'm just grateful that he's making my life easier rather than harder for what feels like the first time since I met him.

I really should've known better.

He leans in, "So Y/N, first question, when did you lose your virginity?"

I almost choke on the mouthful of tea I just took, that can't be what he just asked, and he looks like he's savoring my shocked expression.

"I uh, I don't think you need to know that?" is all I can get out.

"Really? You think that's something your boyfriend wouldn't know about you?" he's right, but I didn't want to admit it outright.

"I feel like I sort of already hinted. It was that same guy David, I was 18, he was 19. We had sex on the couch while my parents went out one evening. I kept my bra on the whole time, he came, I didn't. It was all very standard stuff." I wasn't sure what compelled me to add that last part. I think I was giving in to the open honestly thing. "So what about you Doc?" I challenged.

He didn't seem embarrassed, or even shy. "I must've bloomed little later than you" he admits with a soft chuckle, "Vivian Stewart, I was 21, she was too. It was the last semester of my last PhD and I figured I must be missing out on something. And I sure was" he smirks to himself. "I came, she did too, 3 times. I did a lot of research ahead of time" he mirrored my story and I rolled my eyes. It was hard not to feel a little impressed but I tried with everything I had to stifle it so he couldn't tell. I wish it didn't make me feel something but it did. I gulp down the mouthful of tea that's been sitting in my throat.

I have to shake myself back to reality. I can't give him the satisfaction of throwing me. "My turn." I command, "When was your last relationship Dr. Reid?" I ask, "I mean like, serious one, not like hook-up" I clarify before he can ask. He thinks on it for a moment.

"I'm not sure what you classify as fully serious, but I guess it was this girl, Rebecca, we dated for a while when I first joined the BAU but it didn't work out. What about you?" he flips it back.

"So that was what, like 6-ish years ago?" I ask, he just nods.

"Mine was like 3 years ago now I think. I met this guy Nathan on my first week of college, we dated for like 4 years. He moved here for me when I got accepted by the BAU." I had to stop myself from delving into the detail. It was a long time ago now but it still hurt. "Long story short, the hours were demanding and they got in the way more than I would've liked. We ended up splitting a couple months after I got the job." I tried to play it off like it wasn't one of the more devastating things to happen in my life. But something told me he’d registered that, so he didn't push.

His energy picks up and he looks at me with a grin, but there's something a little sinister behind it. "I've got a more fun question for you." he leans in closer to me, "Y/N, when was the last time you got laid?" I just looked at him in shock. 

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, I can go first if you really need me to?" his voice didn't waver,

"Fuck you Reid, I know when it was!" I snapped back at him. I did have to think back a little farther than I'd like to pull up the memory.

"Met this guy in a bar when I was out with Pen one night, we went back to his place and hooked up." I say as deadpan as I can make it.

"Well that's not very exciting is it?" he jokes, "Did you at least cum that time?" I know he's just trying to rile me up, but I answer anyway.

"As a matter of fact I did" I earn back a little of my confidence.

"I'm so happy for you, but you did manage to avoid my initial question" fuck "when was this exciting night of yours Y/N?" he probes, like I really, really wished he wouldn't. I could lie, but I'm sure he'd be able to tell. I cringe before I can say it.

"About 8 months ago" I mutter, just low enough for him to hear.

"Sorry, did you just say 8 months ago?" He nearly shouts in disbelief, he seems to find it funny.

"Hey fuck you Spencer!" I go on the defensive, "When was the last time you even got laid?"

"Like two and half weeks ago" he says, confident, and still laughing, "Wait wait, when was the last time you got yourself off? I know you're not waiting 8 months!" he giggles and I think I could kill him. I know I kept giving him outs but was it too late for me to just get up and leave?

"I'm not doing this with you if you're just gonna make fun of me Reid, I get enough of that at work" I get out, my voice is serious but I'm trying to hide how awkward all of this is making me feel, and I don't know that I'm doing a very good job.

I can tell that's gotten to him, he relaxes and eases up on the giggling. "Look okay wait Y/N. I'll stop, I'm not actually trying to make fun of you. I was being serious, I think stuff like this is important if we're gonna have to be comfortable around each other enough to seem like a real couple. Plus, it'll just help break the ice?" he shrugs. "But you don't have to answer if you don't want to."

I soften, because I agree, even thought I hate that he's right. "Fine" I collect my thoughts, "2 nights ago I'm pretty sure." I regret it almost instantly, but breaking the ice is supposed to feel awkward.

"Same here actually," he chuckles, "what'd you do?" I'm so startled by the question I almost forget how to answer.

"I, uh, my, my vibrator? I just felt like uh, I watched some..." I still can't force out a whole sentence. It's not like I was always awkward about sex or anything, I could talk to Garcia, or honestly probably any of the other team members about it. But with Spencer it didn't feel as comfortable. He still sat calmly, smiling just a little.

"Same here, 2 nights back, but with my hands I guess. I wonder if we were doing it at the same time?" he mutters the last part gently and my head goes a bit fuzzy. My eyes drift away from his face and settle on his hands, the mug he's holding looks so tiny with his fingers wrapped around it, I wondered how they'd look wrapped around my-

"Okay I think that's enough for one night, don't you think?" I jump up off the sofa and turn, mostly so that he doesn't catch the blush thats creeping from my neck up to my cheeks. And because I don't know what I'll say, or regret saying, if this conversations continues on its current trajectory.

"Sure," he says, standing up next to me, and I want to move further away instantly, "you're probably right, and it's getting a little late now anyway" he glances at his watch. Ushering me back towards his front door and opening it up. Before I can walk out he lightly touches my shoulder to turn me back to face him, and I wonder if he can feel the heat radiating from every part of me.

"So are you free next Friday after work?" he asks, and I'm so flustered I almost forget why, I just nod. "Perfect, how about we come here again and we can dive into preparing? You could also make a start on getting these onto a hard drive?" he gestures to the antique looking hardbacks adorning the shelves.

'Sounds great!" I perk up, feigning enthusiasm, "See you then!"

"Well, see you Monday morning actually Y/N" he smirks as I walk out the door. Fuck, he was right.

I really hadn't thought this through.

——

The weekend was a bit of a blur. I decided to try and put some useful information into a document for Spencer. It felt strange to try and condense my life into as few pages as possible. I knew Reid had an eidetic memory, and nothing would necessarily overwhelm him. But I also knew that he was someone that the team relied on to fill in a lot of the gaps in the rest of the our knowledge. So I felt bad about dumping a load of information on him, especially considering it was a favor he was doing for me.

I'd complied the majority of my life into a 15 page document and printed it out. Hopefully that would address most of what my family could guerrilla attack him with. There was also something unsettling about the imbalance. I was going to give him so many of the intricate details of my life in a little file, whereas all I really knew about Spencer was what I'd taken it upon myself to learn about him throughout the past few years.

I'd read all of his work while I was in college, given how he was the gold standard of getting into the BAU at a young age, I wanted to know who this guy was. I think I'd pictured something different. And I couldn't deny there was something enticing about finally getting to know him after all of these years of working together. Maybe this could actually be fun, or interesting at least.

----

I arrived early on Monday morning. I thought I was first into the office as usual but Garcia was sitting in my desk chair waiting for me. The second she saw me walk in she tensed, she must've known we were the only people in this early.

"What happened! You've been avoiding me all weekend?" she asked, and she was right. I'd drafted enough texts to her, trying to explain what the plan was, mostly without wanting to admit that she was right. Maybe I was stubborn.

"Alright okay, I drove Reid home." I admitted, dropping my bag by my desk. She rolls her eyes at me, dramatic as always.

"Well I knew that already Y/N damn! What happened next?"

"Fine, we went into his apartment and talked for a while. Trying to sort out the details, get a handle on things I guess?" I said, unsure of how much I should actually give away about our conversation.

"What things!?" She shouts, standing up from my desk,

"I don't know Pen, like logistics and stuff, I still haven't decided how I feel about that little stunt you pulled on Friday night!" I let my frustration get the better of me, and maybe that's why I haven't talked to her. It could also be because I know she's able to read me like a book and I'm not even sure how I feel about this whole situation.

"I call bullshit." She counters, "I know you were relived as hell when I sorted that whole thing out. You would've had anxiety tummy all weekend if I hadn't called Spencer!" I just go silent, she was right. I'd gotten so caught up in the whole, 'how to have a fake boyfriend' that I'd almost forgotten about how stressed I was about Spencer hearing my call in the first place.

"Okay, shit" I sigh. "Maybe you were right Pen. We're actually meeting up again this Friday after work to make a plan for the next while, so I guess that's progress?" I shrug, trying to play it off like this whole situation doesn't make my stomach flip.

"Ohhhhh! So like a date?" She probes, her enthusiasm rising drastically.

"Oh my God Pen no! Like an appointment at best" I diffuse the situation

"Ugh that's no fun" she says, not even trying to disguise her disappointment.

As if on cue Dr. Reid walks through the double doors into the bullpen. Both Garcia and I wave, overall awkwardly, but making an attempt pretend like things were completely normal and like nothing had changed since the last time we were all in the office together.

Penelope heads to her office as the bullpen starts to fill up quickly. Less than an hour later though Garcia's back at my desk and there's a new case that needs the teams attention in Boston. I follow her into the conference room and wait for the rest of the team to join. Spencer follows a moment later with 2 cups of coffee in his hands. I can see my mug in his hand and my automatic response is that he's messing with me. But he places my mug in front of me in the circular table before taking the seat next to me, listening to Garcia's briefing. I don't know if he's ever sat next to me in this conference room, at least not by choice.

I barely had any time to finish my coffee before I have to say goodbye to Garcia and hop on the jet to Boston.

----

The case was grueling. More so than usual. It was wrapped up late on Thursday night and the team decided to fly back home first thing on Friday morning. I was exhausted. Even if there was enough time to get sleep each night it wasn't like I got any. Whenever a case got on top of me like this it made it hard to rest, or get it off my mind at all until it was wrapped up. So even though it was over, that didn't mean I wasn't exhausted.

Hotch gave the team the rest of the day off, given that we have until submit our paperwork by Monday. I wasn't sure if Spencer's invitation from the following week still stood. I didn't want to ask, partly because I was so tired, but also because I was scared. I wasn't about to show up at his house in an effort to have a heart to heart, or hand him a condensed version of my life story on a manilla envelope if he was as drained as I was.

Standing by my desk I packed up everything I'd need to get my paperwork done over the weekend, I was just about finished when Spencer snuck up behind me, perching himself on the edge of my desk. "So, you almost ready to go?" he asks, like it's the most obvious question in the world. I couldn't really hide my surprise.

"Oh yeah. That's fine, I mean, if you're still cool with that?" I ask, and I hate how flustered I sound, like he makes me nervous.

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?" He chuckles, standing up straight.

"Cool, gimme a sec and I'll be good to go."

I pack up the rest of my stuff quickly and we make our way out. There's something that feels a little eerie about the two of us being in an elevator together alone again. It was a different kind of awkward to how it felt a week before hand. It almost felt like a kind of tension rather than a hatred or a rivalry. Either way we rode down in silence.

Once we got to the basement Spencer walks out of the elevator and walks straight to my car without having to ask. I unlock it and he hops into the passenger seat. Like this is a natural interaction. Something we do all the time. And I don't hate it as much as I thought I would.

"So," he says, buckling up his seat belt and breaking the silence, "do you know how to get to my place from here or do you need directions again?"

"Well I've got to turn on the engine first" I tease, hoping he picks up on the reference to our last car ride, he chuckles like he does.

"Are you hungry?" he asks

"Starving."

The delivery guy get's to Spencer's apartment at almost the same time we do.

---

Once the food's been demolished the two of us finally sit on his sofa, the same sides as the week before. "So, shall we get back into this?" He asks, sitting forward slightly to pull a notebook out of his satchel on the floor. It's small and lavender, and it's got a pen clipped into the spine. He cracks it open and flips to a specific page.

"Sorry, what's that?" I ask, pointing to the book, he looks confused,

"They're my notes?" he says, like it should be obvious

"Your notes?" I ask,

"My notes on you." he smirks, again like I'm silly for even asking.

He had notes on me? He had a whole notebook on me? What was even in that thing?

"You've got notes on me?" I ask, my hands reaching out to grab it, but he retreats faster than I can catch him. "What have you got in there that's so serious?"

"Nothing." and his tone's a bit too stern and I don't really want to push it when he's being so uncharacteristically nice to me.

"I've actually got this ready for you" I pull the file out of my own bag and toss it to him. "I'm not sure exactly what you need to know but that should be the majority of it at least."

He opens it up and glances over the the pages. It takes him all of 2 minutes to get through the whole thing. It feels unsettling that he's taking in a boiled down version of my life while I'm just sitting on the opposite side of the sofa. Trying to avoid the attention I pipe up.

"Um, hey, maybe it would be a good time for you to show me where to make a start digitizing your books over here?" I stand up and make my way to the shelf. He jumps up off the sofa and walks toward me, visibly excited.

"That's actually a great idea, I thought that the theses from my degrees could be a good place to start, since I'm pretty sure they're not backed up anywhere." he guides me to a section of the book case by the window. There's a series of leather bound hardbacks, the same gold font embossed on the spines. I recognize all of them, pulling out the first one.

"This is my favorite" I say without thinking about it and he does a double take, clearly thrown.

"You've, uh, you read my work?" he asks, completely puzzled. I'm sort of proud that I've managed to make him this awkward, and I nod.

"Mmhm, back before I joined the BAU actually. Before I really knew you" I regret saying the last part, it comes out a little meaner than I really wanted it to so I back track. "Spencer, I read all of your work while I was in college, you were like the gold standard. I don't think I slept more than 2 hours a night throughout my PHD because I was just trying to get as much done as you." and his face softens at the admission. But it takes him a moment before he responds. Leaving the two of us in silence a little too long.

"I had no idea" is all he says.

"I think this one was best" I say propping up the one in my hand, "you get a bit cockier as you move on” His eyebrows shoot up in surprise, "but I'll start with all of these I guess" I grab the matching books and stack them in my arms. Walking over to his desk and setting up. Glancing at the clock it was only 7pm so I decided to just make a start.

Spencer didn't contest. Letting me just get settled at his desk, I pull out my laptop and begin work on transcribing the first volume. After a few minutes he silently places a cup of tea down beside me and goes to sit on the sofa. The time rolls in quickly after that, each time I look up at Spencer he's carefully combing through the file I'd given him. Re-reading it and making little markings in his lavender notebook. I'm not really sure what I put in there that was worth making a note on but clearly he was reading between the lines on some things. That little notebook was like a profile of me.

When he seemed like he'd finished writing he pulls out his phone, scrolling through it aimlessly like I'd never seen him do before. It made him look so normal. His eyebrows knit together as he's looking at something on his screen and he stands up. Making his way over to me at the desk and shows me what he was looking at.

"Who's this?" he asks, "This guy you're with?"

I recognize the photo instantly. It's from a few years earlier, Nathan and I on the beach, my head resting on his chest. He'd taken it while we were on vacation celebrating our anniversary. That was about a month before I got into the BAU, I had no idea that was going to be our last anniversary. I gulp down the emotions that it stirs. I'm mostly over the whole thing by now, but looking at old photos like that, photos of happier times, it can still sting.

"That's uh, the boyfriend I was telling you about last week. Nathan, we broke up not long after I joined the BAU?" he nods, but he's smart, and I kind of figure he already knew that.

"Ah alright" he takes out the hardback and jots another note down. Maybe he's trying to get a read on me.

"What are you doing?" I gesture to the phone,

"It's research, do you not think that if you and I were really dating that stalking your social media profiles would be on my agenda?" he's smug, and he's right. But I guess I just didn't expect it from him.

"Well that's not really fair now is it? I can't reciprocate, you've got no social media presence whatsoever!" he finds that funny, letting out a deep chuckle and tucking his phone away in his back pocket.

"Maybe so, but that imbalance is hardly my fault. Besides, you've read all my dissertations apparently..."

"Bastard" I joke, slamming my laptop shut and throwing a pen from his desk at him so that it lightly bounces off the top of his head.

"Hey, there's no need for violence Y/N!" he rubs the spot beneath his curls, "Maybe it's time you took a break actually?" he says, sitting himself back down on the sofa.

I was reluctant to admit it but he was right. My eyes were starting to go a little fuzzy after looking at the screen for so long. I stand up and stretch my arms out above my head, feeling my spine stretch out after sitting for so long, letting out a low groan. Spencer waves me over to the sofa and I join him.

"How about we go back to basics?" Spencer asks with a small grin, and I can't help but let out a long sigh.

"I thought I was taking a break, no more questions" he just laughs at me,

"Relax, you're not that interesting, it's just a simple question." he states, and I'm not sure if I'm supposed to find it funny or offensive

"Ugh, fine, shoot"

"Well, actually it's two questions" he corrects, "what's your favorite movie, and what's your favorite snack?"

I'm confused mostly by the fact that it actually is a simple question, I was expecting something a lot more contentious, but also because he looks eager to know the answer.

"I'm not really sure what my favorite movie is to be honest, one of them is Night of the Living Dead?"

He nods to himself, and jots it down in the notebook again, "Alright, I can make that work" he stands up off the sofa before turning back to me, "and snack?"

"Peanut butter cups I guess?" I respond and he grins ear to ear, which is a completely new sight, and I like it way more than I thought I would.

"Perfect, gimme 2 minutes!" he leaves the living room and wanders towards the kitchen.

Spencer returns a few minutes later with a DVD, a packet of peanut butter cups , and a thick knitted blanket gathered in his arms. He drapes the blanket over me and gently places the peanut butter cups on top of it before popping the DVD into the player and sitting down beside me. I'm not really sure how to process any of the situation. Am I about to watch a movie on Spencer Reid's sofa? Sitting next to Spencer Reid?

"I... I, uh, thought you were just asking for your notes?" I ask, pointing at the notebook resting in his lap. He picks it up and throws it onto the coffee table.

"Sometimes I find experience is the best teacher, don't you?" he asks before pressing play, “And besides, it should keep you quiet for a whole 96 minutes” of course.

I can only nod in agreement, I'm not really sure what I'll say if I try to speak. I get myself cosy under the warm blanket and we watch the movie in near silence.

Once the credits roll Spencer finally speaks up, "I actually went to see a screening of this last month downtown, there was this little old horror movie fest-" I cut him off without really realizing, I'm just strangely excited that we've genuinely got something in common.

"Holy shit, I was there!" I say, more enthusiastic than the situation calls for.

He laughs at my excitement, "Well, I guess we have more overlap than I thought, that should probably help with the whole charade." he stretches his arms up over his head and let's out a small, gentle yawn. I'd been enjoying myself more than I thought I would, or would ever tell Spencer, that I'd almost forgotten that we'd both been on a case for almost every waking moment of the past week. I really should feel a lot more drained than I do.

I was just after midnight when I suggested that I head back home. I offered to take some of the books home to work on throughout the weekend but Spencer insisted that I just work on them whenever I came over again. I sort of felt like I should thank him for the evening when I was on my way out the door, or give him a quick hug, no that felt wrong. In the end all I could really muster was a lousy, "goodnight" and a meek wave on my way out the door before I drove home. And couldn't get to sleep.

— —

Previous Chapter -- Next Chapter

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

Taglist:

@mustbeaweasleyginger

@rexorangecouny

@haylaansmi

@blameitonthenight21

@prettybirdi

@justanothetfangirl

@cielo1984

@bxtchboy69

@collectiveuniverses

@cm-imagines-07

@criminalmindzjunkie

@rainsong01

@70sreid​

@andiebeaword​

@arctic-duchess

@mggsprettygirl​

@thebadassbitchqueen

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid smut #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid angst #criminal minds smut #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #criminal minds imagine #matthew gray gubler #matthew gray gubler smut #matthew gray gubler x reader #spencer reid x y/n #dr spencer reid smut #dr spencer reid imagine #dr spencer reid angst #mgg #mgg imagine #mgg smut #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fic #dr reid #enemies to lovers #fake dating au #fake dating

[nightowlwriting]

summary: beau says some shitty things to caduceus, and he comes to you. no matter what he thinks, you love him and you make sure he knows that he's not broken. (part 2/13 of the kindness series, a thematically connected series of c2/exu imagines)

word count: 1.6k

warnings: unintentional acephobia / arophobia (beau says some shitty things, but from a place of ignorance)

note: i am def not to the c2 episodes where cad is introduced but i love him already, so i'm not sure whether or not my characterization is on point or not, but in this house we love and respect aro/ace caduceus!!!!!

masterlist - request - support my work? - ao3

You know his feelings, and he knows yours. That’s why you and Caduceus get along so well, despite life on the road. There’s always some sort of friction in the group, even though it’s quickly smoothed over and forgotten. Things like that, though, never happen between you and Caduceus - which is something the rest like to point out with thinly-veiled jealousy when they’re in a tuff with another of the group.

Just thinking about your frictionless relationship with Cad makes you smile. You know that he doesn’t really get the way other people fall in love, or lust depending on who it is, and sometimes that makes you sad. But not sad in a way that you’d want him to change - Gods no. You love him for the way he is, and you know he loves you for the way you are. It doesn’t stop you from thinking about another life, another place, though.

That’s mostly irrelevant. You’ll be the first to admit, when you first found Cad and he joined your merry band of adventurers, you’d harbored a rather large crush on him. That, originally, started your kindness campaign toward him. Selfish, yes, but you don’t regret it. It has made you the closest friend you’re sure you’ll have in your entire life. He’d kept mostly to himself before you reached out to him, being nicer and nicer until… Well, until he started to return the favors.

That’s what makes you two work so well together. Everyone else is resistant, honestly, to the way you want to be nice to them. You know they have their reasons, so you don’t push. Eventually they are kind to you and, though you don’t do it just so that others will be nice to you, it’s a warming feeling to know that you have some impact on the people you travel with.

Caduceus is the one that goes out of his way the most for you, though. He’s the one that will prepare your meal in the way that you prefer, but Caleb hates, and adjusts Caleb’s accordingly. He’s the one that will listen to you and Jester fawn over Oskar, even though he’s not interested in the romantic or sexual aspects of Tusk Love. He’s the one that will hear you having a nightmare and wrap his large, warm body around yours to comfort you in the middle of the night. He is your best friend, and you’re his. (After the Wildmother, of course. You’d never get between them. It’s so clear how fond he is of her, and how fond she is of him.)

But all of these things, the history the two of you share and how close you are compared to the rest of the Mighty Nein, are the reason Caduceus comes to you late at night, tears wetting the fur on his face. It’s late, and you were asleep, but your door is open to anyone in the Might Nein. Cad knows this, which is why you’re surprised that he is knocking.

“Caddy,” You reach for his hand and guide him into your room, “What’s wrong?” He doesn’t say anything, opting instead to drape himself over you in a warm, strong hug. You feel his breathing stutter and then pick back up, a telltale sign he’s been crying for some time. Your stomach drops like a stone, “Hey, let’s sit down on the bed, okay? And then we can talk if you want or we can just sit.” He lets you lead him to the bed, but as soon as he’s at, he curls up with his back towards you and shields himself as much as possible with his arms. It’s like he’s afraid of you, sobs returning to jostle his body on your bed.

You let him have his space, stepping back but reminding him that you’re here - for him, in the room, for the long haul. You can’t let Caduceus think he’s alone in whatever he’s going through, because he’s not. He’s not alone, never, not with you around. Your heart breaks as he whimpers and rolls over, reaching a hand out for you. There’s no hesitation in your mind when you crawl into bed and let Cad fold himself around you, holding you so tightly that you’re afraid that he’ll break. “Caddy, I need you to calm down,” You wrap your arms around his middle, scratching lightly at the fur on his back to try and comfort him.

“Am I broken?”

“What?”

“Am I broken?” And then he says your name, pleading and so filled with sorrow, that it chokes you up for a second. “I think I might be broken.”

“Caduceus Clay, you are not broken,” You whisper, voice shaking as you pull him impossibly closer, eyes cresting with tears as you look, unseeing, at the wall over his shoulder. He’s buried his face in the crook where your neck meets your jaw. “I don’t know why you would think that, but I know you are not.”

He sniffles. “Beau said…” But he cuts himself off, jaw snapping shut with an audible sound as he squeezes his arms around your waist. You can feel his hands shaking as they clench in your sleep clothes.

“Beau says a lot of shit,” You turn your head to nuzzle your nose against the back of his large ear, hoping to bring some sort of comfort to him. Whatever she said to him has gotten him more worked up than anything you’ve ever seen, “She says a lot of shit and sometimes she doesn’t mean it, and sometimes she doesn’t really get what she’s saying. She’s an empire kid, Caddy, they’re sheltered and unsure and kind of… Well, they’re assholes. Beau is not immune to Empire Kid Asshole Syndrome, just like Caleb isn’t.” He shudders, a fresh round of tears wetting your neck and the fur on his face. “Cad… Caddy, come on, what did she say?”

“We were in Jester’s room,” He begins, voice calm but small, “And she was talking about Tusk Love again. Nott asked a question - about, I don’t know, I think our first time, but I don’t… I’ve never…” You press a kiss against his fur when he begins to work himself up again. He sucks in a shaking breath, “And I told them, and the Beau asked why and… There’s not a reason, I don’t suppose.”

“There doesn’t have to be a reason,” You whisper, “But if you want a reason, the reason is that this is how you’ve chosen to live.”

Caduceus continues like he doesn’t hear you, “She said that there’s no point to having friends, to being so close to you, if nothing will come from it. She said that life is about love and sex and finding someone to share it all with. She said that I was leading you on. That you’re in love with me.”

You whine low in your throat and push on Cad’s shoulders so he’s looking at you. You want him to not only listen to what you’re about to say, but hear it. He looks so sad, ears pulled back and eyes glassy. “I am not in love with you, Caduceus Clay. I love you. There is a difference. Once, yes, I thought that I might have been able to fall in love with you, but I know how you feel. What you feel is real, do you understand?” You pause for him to respond, but he just looks at you. “You do not need love and sex to live life, okay? And love - you have so much of it. I love you. The Mighty Nein loves you. The Wildmother loves you. You have so much love in your life, and if that is enough for you then that’s enough for you. Nobody has any say in what you want from life except you.”

“Am I hurting you? By not being able to fall in love with you?”

“No,” You say firmly, “Your worth is not measured by your ability or desire to fall in love.” Cad shifts on the bed, and you pull him closer, settling your forehead against his, “I’ll talk to Beau in the morning, okay? She will apologize to you - either this is a misunderstanding, or she was being intentionally malicious, but there will be an apology.”

His eyes slip closed, and the sigh that follows shakes as it leaves his body. Some of the tension melts away and you let one of your hands move up his body - making sure he knows you’re aiming for his face - until your thumb can rub soft circles in his cheek. “Do you believe me?” You ask, voice soft as he begins to come down.

“What?”

“Do you believe that you’re not broken? That you just are who you are? That it’s okay?” You press your nose against his for a brief second. Just a moment of comforting intimacy, but you don’t press it. “Do you believe what I said?”

“I’m not sure,” He stutters a little bit, frown tugging slightly at his lips, “I think that I could come to believe it because you wouldn’t lie to me.”

“Never,” You promise in a strong voice, despite whispering to him, “I would never lie to you. I’m not lying to you.” You shift a little, twisting your legs with his long and lithe ones, “Let’s get some rest tonight, and I’ll set Beau straight in the morning, okay?” You know he’s already tipping off toward sleep, his body warming and becoming pliant in your arms. Caduceus only hums and nods, one of his ears twitching as your breath hits it when you chuckle. Tomorrow, you’ll bring your wrath down upon Beau - lightly, because you’re almost positive she didn’t mean what she said and probably phrased it horribly wrong. Tomorrow, you’ll set it straight with the rest of the Mighty Nein, too - that not wanting romantic love, or sexual things, does not make someone broken. You’ll educate them and, if you get any pushback, you’ll make sure they know that if Cad walks, you walk.

You’re sure he feels the same way.

#critical role imagine #c2 imagine #cr imagine #caduceus imagine #caduceus clay imagine #caduceus x reader #caduceus clay x reader #caduceus / reader #caduceus clay / reader #campaign 2 imagine #critfic

[solastia]

Tuqburni: Finale - Heartbreak

Pairing: Yoongi X Reader, Hoseok x Reader

A/N: Here you go with an alternate ending where she DIDN’T choose to go back to them. Angst, with a bit of hope (hyuck). Please remember, in my mind the other ending is canon and I will be releasing an epilogue eventually of them together in the future. Until then, enjoy this. It really hurt me to make my Yoongichi cry. 

*******************************************************************************************

You sat on your tiny patio in the beat-up rocking chair you’d bought from a thrift store as you waited for Namjoon to come by. You probably could have waited inside, but it felt too big and empty for your liking. A familiar knock rattles your very wobbly-sounding door and you get up with a sigh, closing the sliding glass behind you as you head to the front door. 

You open it without checking, knowing that there were only two people in the world who knew where you lived now. 

Namjoon and Seokjin are standing there with hands brimming with equipment. 

“Come on in. The room’s mostly set-up now.” 

They kick off their shoes somehow and scuffle towards the second bedroom that was mostly sparse beyond a desk holding your computer, a chair, and soundproofing foam panels on the walls. In the pair’s arms were the rest of the recording equipment you’d need to establish the room as your official workspace. 

Namjoon mumbles that he can take care of the setup so you let Jin pull you to the tiny kitchen and put on some tea while you wait. 

“So...how was your first night as an independent woman?” Seokjin asks while he pulls down your new mugs and turns on the kettle. 

“...Alright, I guess. Quiet,” you murmur softly, putting bags in the cups. 

He nods in understanding. You’d moved out of their place after staying there for nearly a month. You’d tried leaving earlier, but Seokjin and Namjoon had been adamant that you needed to stay and let them watch out for you for a little while before you decided. Personally, you’d suspected that they’d probably thought they were on suicide watch, but you were fine. Well, perhaps not fine, but nowhere near thinking about that kind of thing. 

“I wasn’t sure if I was going to tell you or not, but you should know that Yoongi didn’t take it well,” he sighs and sets down his cup. “There was...a lot of yelling. A lot of...you know...him puffing up and getting angry at us to hide how devastated he was. He blamed us and said we were turning you against him and that setting up a studio in your apartment so you’d never have to see him again was obviously something that I came up with because you would never do that. He even started saying some stuff about how Namjoon was obviously using this as a chance to steal you away because of the tiny crush he had on you back when you all first met.” 

“Oh, Jesus,” you huff and rub your eyes. “I’m sorry you had to deal with that. He’s...that’s just always been his fighting style. He zeros in on the one thing he can say that would hurt you the most and stabs you with it. Please don’t hold it against him.” 

He reaches over and pets your hair softly. “I know. It’s...it’s going to take a while but he’s going to need us too when this starts to settle down a little more. Right now you are our priority because you’re the one that’s been wronged, but...he’s still our marshmallow Yoongichi and we’ll need to pick him up too. Even if we are incredibly disappointed in him. Both of them.” 

You nod, closing your eyes. “He...did he look...bad?” 

“Yeah, I’m not gonna lie. His clothes were all messed up and he’s gotten really skinny. Don’t think he’s eating much either. But...you don’t need to worry about that. That’s not your responsibility. He made his choices. Jimin made his choices. Now it’s time for you to have your turn.” 

You nod silently, knowing he was right. That didn’t make it any easier. 

It felt almost like you’d been in a trance since that night Yoongi had ordered you to leave. You remembered driving to Jin’s and sitting in their guestroom, staring at the ceiling blankly once your chest hurt too much to cry any longer. 

When the knocking started, there had been one tiny spark of hope that Yoongi had finally come to his senses and was there to apologize. To drop to his knees and beg you to come back. That he would do anything…

But the high tones of Jimin’s begging squashed that final dream. Yoongi couldn’t even be bothered to come even now. He had to send Jimin to do the talking for him. And finally...FINALLY...you were overcome by rage. 

No more. You were done. 

You shook your head no to Namjoon’s silent question over whether he should let Jimin inside, and then you just stood there listening to him trying to talk through the door. He said some things that surprised you and some that didn’t. You’d known he was developing some sort of feeling for you - whether that was actually love or that he just liked having sex you didn’t know, and really you weren’t sure you cared anymore. 

He’d managed to stick around for an hour, which had impressed you, but you hadn’t been surprised when he finally gave up and left. That had also been the last time you’d seen or heard from either of them. Yoongi hasn’t tried to call and you certainly weren’t going to be the one to beg for him to take you back. You had absolutely nothing to apologize for. You’d done nothing but love that man with everything you had - and it still hadn’t been good enough. 

It was with that thought in mind that you essentially set up camp in the Kim household while you tried to figure out your next steps. They’d been kind enough to go get some of your belongings. Apparently, Jimin had cried while he helped them pack up enough for now and promised to have everything else ready for them to come back for later. Namjoon put you on official leave from work and with a few changes on social media you were now almost officially completely severed from your life with Yoongi. The house had been in his name, you’d never combined accounts, your car was your own. Honestly, it seemed almost too easy. Your lives were now entirely separate beyond the tears in your soul that would last forever. 

Namjoon had convinced you to keep your job, promising that you could work from home and the company would cover the costs of converting your second room into a studio. It was incredibly indulgent on his part but you didn’t even think of turning him down. You loved your job and you definitely needed the financial comfort it would bring as you started over. The rest of the apartment was still kind of shabby since you’d been worrying about the studio first, but eventually, you’d get around to making it feel like a home. 

Namjoon struts from the studio with a grin, wiping his hands together. “All done! Just waiting for you to set up passwords and stuff now. Kinda jealous now. Jin, can I set up a studio at home? I like the idea of working in my underwear.” 

Seokjin scowls playfully. “Don’t even think about it.” 

You huff lightly, but don’t miss the way they seemed to be discussing something with their eyes before they both turn to you. 

“There’s...uh...something else that you should probably know. You might not want to know or care but we thought we should at least tell you,” Namjoon begins, his eyes constantly flitting between yours and Jin’s. 

“Just tell me, Joon.” 

“They, uh. Yoongi and Jimin, they...broke up? I guess. Don’t know the whole story yet but apparently, Jimin’s been staying in a hotel near the company. We’re all watching Yoongi closely to make sure history doesn’t repeat itself, but, yeah. Thought you should probably know,” Namjoon says quickly, cringing like he expected you to go on a rampage despite the fact that you never have before. 

Instead, you simply scoff, because wasn’t that just perfect. All that pain you went through, all the fighting and sacrifices, and in the end, it was all for nothing. 

“Are you okay?” Seokjin asks softly, bumping your shoulder with his. 

You smile up at him, though it doesn’t meet your eyes. “I will be.” 

******

“I can’t believe you’ve done this.” 

You sigh angrily into your phone as you walk towards the cafe, wondering for the millionth time why you let Kim Seokjin order you around so much. 

“It’s been six months, sweetie. It’s time and he perfect for you, I promise! He’ll be a drooling mess at your feet in no time.” 

When you’d gotten ready for the café, you’d thought you were simply meeting your friend Jin for coffee and gossip, like usual. Only he’d called you when you were only a couple minutes away to inform you that it was actually a blind date. Surprise, bitch. 

“Does he at least know why he’s there?” 

“Of course! He was really excited too. Seems he’s had the hots for you for ages.” 

You were thankful he couldn’t tease you for the blush on your cheeks. “No one calls it the hots anymore, grandpa.” 

“Nevermind. Date canceled. I’m not saddling my Hobi Hobi with someone so disrespectful…”

“Calm down. Fuck, I’m not dressed for a date, Jinnie. I thought it was just going to be us so I’m just wearing jeans and a hoodie.” 

“It’s not my fault you don’t dress up for me.” 

You finally reach the café and stare at the sign like it would give you courage. “I can’t do this…” 

“Breathe. You can. You have no reason to feel guilty or undeserving. I picked the best one I can find for you, but if it doesn’t work out that’s okay too. There is no pressure. All I want is for you to be happy.” 

Your heart swelled, remembering that, oh yeah, this is why you kept Kim Seokjin around. 

“I really love you a lot, you know that right? You are the best friend I could ever ask for.” 

He chuckles happily. “I’ll remind you that you said that the next time you get mad at me. Good luck. Call me if you need to escape. Treat Hoseokie with care, too. He’s like one of those Gremlins. Don’t put him in water or anything high, and he turns into a weird sex demon after midnight.” 

“Should I ask how you know that?” 

“I know everything about everyone, my dear Y/N. Everything.” 

You’d call him out on his bluff if you were more certain that it actually was one. 

“Alright, I’m going in. Love you.” 

“Love you. Be nice to Hoseok.” 

You close the call and stuff your phone in your pocket, taking the chance to brush out any wrinkles and calm yourself. You just wished that you were wearing something cuter than a pink hoodie that you were pretty sure belonged to Jin at one point. At least your converse were pink to match and you’d done your hair. 

You enter the café, the stupid little bell making everyone’s heads turn toward you like you weren’t nervous enough. You think you spot the guy in question sitting next to a window, but you buy yourself some time with getting your drink first, peeking at him out of the corner of your eye. 

It wasn’t that you didn’t know him at all, you’d just never really talked to him. He worked at the company as a choreographer so naturally, you’ve seen him around. It was merely that producers like you were usually goblins that cooped themselves up in their studios and didn’t really get around to meeting everyone. It was impossible to not notice Hoseok though. Beyond the fact that he was handsome, he was also incredibly bright. Both inside and outside. You were sure you’d seen every color of the rainbow on his head at some point, and it was currently a flattering shade of orange that not many could pull off. 

Once you had your drink in hand, you turn and head towards the table. Hoseok is already standing to greet you, his smile wide and unabashed, and you finally begin to feel the first tingles of excitement. And maybe a few nervous butterflies. 

“Hi, Hoseok,” you smile shyly and sit when he gestures to a chair, trying not to laugh when he nearly tumbles trying to sit back down. 

“Hello!” he practically yells, and you finally notice that he just might be nervous too. He clears his throat and tries again. “Hi. Thanks for coming.” 

“Yeah, I...uh. I’m going to be honest - I only knew this was happening a few minutes ago. I thought I was meeting Jin,” you smile awkwardly, chuckling. 

He cringes and seems to droop before your very eyes. “Oh, sorry. I...I don’t want this to be a forced thing. I’ll just...uh. See you around?” 

He gets up to leave and you’re not sure what makes you grab his jean jacket to stop him. 

“No, please. Stay? I...I’m going to be bad at this because it’s been a long time but...I can try?” 

His smile is the happiest thing you’ve ever seen in your life. “Yeah? Okay. Alright, let’s do this.” 

You laugh and settle back into your seat, watching him as he does the same. He’s so expressive and vocal as he starts telling you a story about his day (one of his new kids fell and made the other ones fall like dominos and now his best dancer was out with a sprained ankle). He asked questions about your life, your interests, asked about your work. He was so beautiful and yet he looked at you like you were something awe-inspiring. It had been a long time since anyone had seemed so genuinely interested in you. Before you knew it an hour had flown by and your stomach was beginning to hurt from laughing so much. 

“So, I was thinking if I hadn’t scared you off yet, maybe you’d be willing to continue this date? But like, somewhere else because if I drink another cup of tea I’m going to burst,” Hoseok wrinkled his nose and sent you a shy smile, a single tiny dimple poking out. 

“I’d like that,” you grin, surprised yet again that you actually meant it. That you were actually excited to spend more time with him. “Maybe we could just walk around for a while and talk. There’s a park across the street and lots of people play music and stuff. And then maybe you could take me dancing tonight. Show off those moves you keep bragging about.” 

Where had this confident woman come from? 

Thankfully, his grin widens and he nods eagerly. “That sounds perfect. But first...little boys room. Be right back.” 

You giggle and settle back into your see as you watch him scurry frantically to the bathrooms - no surprise since he’d downed three cups of peppermint tea. You turn to observe the room to pass the time and that’s when you spot him. 

He’s standing near the pick-up counter with an iced americano in his hand, the condensation and half-melted ice suggesting he’d been there for a while. His haunted gaze is locked right on you and you meet it even as your stomach clenches with a myriad of emotions. 

Six months. Such a short time in the grand scheme of things but still so long since you’d last seen him. He’s as beautiful as ever, even if he’s obviously been losing weight that he didn’t need to and his lounging around the house clothes he was wearing in public gave off the IDGAF vibe. 

Yoongi seems to finally come to a decision as he saunters closer, eyes wide and unblinking like he’s afraid if he looks away for a single second you’ll disappear. He finally reaches your table and you fight the instinct to make a run for it. 

“Hey,” he says softly, his hand clenching tightly enough around his drink to make the plastic crinkle. 

“Hey,” you answer softly, unsure of what else to say. 

“You look beautiful,” he continues with a soft tone like he’s speaking to a spooked rabbit. Perhaps he was. 

“Thanks.” 

He nods silently, continuing to stare. “So...you’re on a date with Hoseok?” 

“Uh...yeah,” you swallow nervously. “Blind date. Seokjin set it up.” 

He nods again and licks his lips. “Yeah? That’s...good. Hoseok’s a good guy.” 

“Yeah. He seems nice.” 

“Yeah.” 

“You’re...doing okay?” You’re not sure what prompted you to ask. Perhaps there will always be a part of you that worries about him - you already know that there’s always going to be a part of your soul that belongs to him. 

He shrugs, “Alright. You?” 

“Yeah. I’m good. Have an apartment and going to counseling.” 

He flinches as if you’d just slapped him. “Sorry.” 

“It’s not just...because of you or what happened. It’s, you know, the past and all that too. Just needed to work things out. I think it’s helping. Maybe...maybe you could try it too.” 

“Maybe,” he responds noncommittally, his eyes finally falling to the floor. “I miss you.” 

Your heartbeat quickens. “Yeah. I miss you too.” 

“Do you think...maybe we could try…”

You cut him off before he can even finish that sentence. “No.” 

That was maybe too harsh because he looked like he wanted to melt into the floor straight to hell. 

“I...will always miss you. And a part of me will probably always love the Yoongi I had before, but no. I don’t quite have the gift of words that you do, but I just know that we weren’t right for each other. I mean, I was technically just a very long rebound before you got your chance with Jimin again, in the end.” 

“That’s not how it was. I loved you. I love you,” he grits out, his eyes taking on a steely edge as he looked back up. 

“Yeah. I know you did, just maybe not the right way. And I loved you, but I let you bulldoze over me. So maybe we could have been good, but you got greedy and I needed to learn to not be a doormat.” 

He nods and once again looks like a kicked puppy. 

You sigh and tap on the table nervously. “But for those years that we were together - I will always love that Yoongi. I will look back and remember that once upon a time there was a man and a woman who were crazy in love and built a home together. Who had dreams of building a lifetime together. I will hope that Yoongi has a happy life and that he finds what he needs. That he can find a companion who makes him want to fight for what they have together.” 

The tears streaming down his cheeks make you pause, realizing you’re fighting back some of your own. 

“I love you, Min Yoongi. But you weren’t right for me. Now it’s time for me to find my place in this world. Maybe Hoseok is it, maybe he isn’t. I’d like to think I don’t need another person to help me feel complete. Whatever it is, I’m learning how to speak up and fight for myself. I hope you can learn to be happy for me.” 

He nods, sniffling. “Whatever you want. I just...I just wanted you to know. I love you. I really did. And...I’m sorry. For what I did. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I hurt Jimin. Do you think...you’ll ever want to at least talk to me?” 

“I don’t know yet. Maybe someday. I don’t think you’re ready.” 

“Okay. I’ll be here.” 

“Yeah. I...you have to go home now, Yoongi. I’m on a date.” 

His watery eyes widen again, and he nods slowly. “Right, yeah. Sorry. Again. And...please. Call me or whatever if you ever need anything. I...won’t expect anything else. Just know that I’m here if you need someone. Can I ask for that, at least?” 

You nod, “Yeah. Thank you, Yoongi. I’ll...see you around.” 

He gulps and backs up. “Yeah, see you, Y/N.” 

He turns swiftly and practically jogs towards the entrance while you try to memorize what could be your last glimpse of the man you once loved. 

“Everything okay?” 

You jump and your eyes fly over to meet the sympathetic ones of Hoseok. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. I saw him talking to you and thought it was best to let you have privacy. Was that okay?” 

“Yeah,” you sigh. “He just wanted to talk. And...it was good. I think I finally feel a little more closure.” 

“So...I’m not like a rebound, right? Like, I know that you guys were dating and I heard some of it from Seokjin but...” 

“Uh...you’re the first time I’m trying to actually date since Yoongi. If that clears things up a bit,” you answer with a blush. You were not about to go into detail about those couple months of desperate hookups you’d used to try and gain your confidence back before you’d started therapy. 

Thankfully, he seems to not mind that bit of news judging by the wicked grin that paints his lips. “Oh?” 

“Shut up,” you growl, playfully swatting him. 

He chuckles and reaches out a hand to you. “Do you still feel up to continuing our date? If not, I’ll totally understand and we can reschedule. I’ll only cry and stress-eat a tiny bit, I promise.” 

You snort and accept his hand, letting him help you up. In a moment of bravery, you lace your arm in his and tug him towards the entrance. 

“Just you try to get away from me now, Jung Hoseok.” 

He giggles and lets you lead the way, both of you exiting the café and feeling hopeful about the future. 

#bts #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #tuqburni #solastia #bts angst