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buttercream-princess · 1 year

Text

Playing The Game

Summary: Y/K and Dean have been secretly enjoying a friends-with-benefits arrangement for some time now, relishing in the pleasure and excitement that it brings. But when Dean unexpectedly reveals his feelings about someone else while under the influence, Y/K is left reeling and wondering where their relationship truly stands. Y/K must decipher between her newfound emotions and unspoken desires what she really wants: lust or love?

Word Count: 9k

Warnings: Whole lotta’ ANGST, little bit of fluff, swearing, sexual objectification kink, SMUTTY AF, unprotected sex, quickie, public sex, unholy dirty talk, NSFW, interactive

DISCLAIMER: Every original Harry Potter characters in this story is 21+. My Hogwarts stories are always and only written as a university universe with grown ass characters.

Notes: This one has been sitting in the drafts for awhile. I’m thinking of turning it into a 5 part series because I’m too attached to this Dean at this point (Just like Y/K lol) - he’s so cheeky, I love it!

*Gifs and images were not created by and do not belong to me. All rights go to owners and creators!!

(Not edited | proof-read)

_______________________

You sleepily reach for your phone underneath your pillows and sit up against the bed frame.

You check your notifications; still no text from Dean.

Tired and irritated, you let out a groan of frustration and slump back underneath your covers. All you could think was how much you missed him, it was an unfamiliar feeling borderlining on uncomfortable. You never ached for a response from him, since you always had access to him. You were each other's person, but that now seemed called off. It felt almost unfair how easily he was going on with life without you.

It was a long night of tossing and turning, you were unable to get any sleep. Once the birds began their routine songs at dawn, you knew there was no point in trying to get some shut eye, class begins in a few hours.

You couldn’t even think about studying today, you were bitter and strung up. It was all his fault. If he just reached out to you, that would’ve put your racing thoughts at bay. At this point, even an emoji text would’ve been fine. But no, he was radio silent.

Your argument aside, Dean ghosting you was so out of character for him. Dean always made sure to check in with you, you guys were basically joined at the hip. You and Dean have been good friends since your first week at Hogwarts University. You took up the Magical Fine Arts class as an elective in the 1st year. It was Dean who asked you to be his model for the end of year project, to which you agreed to and along the way, you found yourself spending more time with him than you were studying. Dean was funny, charming and adventurous, just your kind of fun. It seemed he had a strong liking for you too because over time, the two of you were inseparable; wherever you saw him, you were always by his side and vice versa.

But over the last summer, your relationship with him developed into something more physical. It started platonic and friendly but as the semesters passed, your body couldn’t deny his sex appeal anymore. One night at your studio dorm after 2 and a half bottles of red wine, you were both wasted and bonding over your love of muggle music since the both of you were half-blood. That night you went from bestfriends to lovers in private and there was no looking back.

You both agreed to keep it under wraps in consideration of not rocking the boat that was your friend group with Blaise, Lee and Alicia. The odds of awkwardly tinting the group dynamic with your situationship was too much to take a chance on. So for the sake of secrecy, all emotions and entanglements was off the table. It kept your friendship balanced. It was simple and you liked it that way.

As for Dean in the bedroom, he’s incredibly cocky and is well aware of the power he has over you. Although you’ve never casually talked about your attraction to him, he remembers every moan and moment of begging that left your mouth while he turned you out. He always finds a way to remind you just how needy you are for his dick. Most late nights you’d get a text from him, saying, “Can’t sleep. Come over.” and you already knew what time it was the second you got the notification.

Hooking up with him had become a weekly - almost daily ritual so you didn’t usually approach Dean for sex but by now it had been close to three weeks since your last conversation with him and you were almost feral for his face between your legs. He would never go this long without asking you to come over, it was so unlike him.

There was once a whole month where you couldn’t get off eachother. You’d get a quickie in before and between classes, in any private room you could find in the castle. The astronomy tower, the room of requirement, the House Elves restroom. Even in Filch’s office once, which you left in absolute shambles, even staining his desk with dry cum - from the both of you. It was hysterical when he reported the scene in the great hall during dinner. You and Dean forced back fits of giggles with mouths full of food, knowing it was you two who defiled his office while everyone else in the hall was completely oblivious. Sneaking around with him had its benefits, one of them being you had a massive secret that only you and Dean shared, as if it was an inside joke that only you and your favorite person knew the origin of. You could call it special. Sure, hiding the truth sometimes felt like a burden but most times it felt electrifying.

While Dean was AWOL, something fierce was brewing in you this morning. You didn’t want to admit it to yourself but you were edging on desperation. You were fine with not hearing from him the first couple of days, you figured he was just busy. But once you saw him actively going out his way to dodge you, that was all your mind needed to start jumping to conclusions.

Why was he ghosting you? Did he not wanna hook up anymore? And if so, why?

You blankly stare at your phone while your mind wanders off and pictures all kinds of scenarios for his weird behavior.

You recall the last time the two of you spoke, a late night from a few weeks ago….

________________________________________________________

3 Weeks Ago…

Everyone had just sat the OWLS exams and it was finally done with. This year's OWLS was making up for 40% for your final grade of the semester, the stakes were high. It even ripped Granger a new one. And if Miss Know It All is anxious about a test, you should be terrified. Which of course, everyone was.

Yet somehow you came out the other side of the exam alive, along with your friends, and what better way to celebrate the end of a stressful and anxiety producing test than to get absolutely wasted?

That’s exactly what you and your friends did. Lee and Alicia went off to Hogsmeade bar to celebrate, but you, Dean and Blaise was too tired from a long day of studying to make the trek to town so the three of you shared a bottle of Don Julio in the Griffindor dorm kitchenette. The night was still young and you spent it vibing to music, taking shots and swapping scandalous stories that were only for your friends group ears. It was always good times when you linked with Thomas and Zabini, the three of you were the bestest of bestfriends. You all just naturally clicked with each other and could yarn for hours, which was something worth looking forward to in your day. The night was going good and your stomach was in pain from how much the boys made you laugh, but along the way, the three of you landed on a subject that would change the trajectory of your relationship with Dean…for the better and worse.

“Can we please talk about Fred and Angela? I’ma be all the way real, Fred is punching hardddd man.” Dean exclaims.

Blaise lets out an annoyed moan and perks up from the bench, throwing his hands in the air.

“Finally somebody fucking said it!”

You smirk and raise your glass. Angela Johnson is an etheric goddess walking amongst mere wizards and witches. And Fred is…well, he’s Fred Weasley. Nuff’ said.

“Right?! I’ll bloody drink to that.” You throw back the rest of your mug only to have a few drops hit your tongue. Time for a top up. You scoot off the kitchen top and walk to the fridge, getting some soda to mix with your tequila.

“Look, I love Fred. He’s my best mates brother, Maker bless Ron - the little shit. But how Fred even got a chance with Angie? That’s surely one of Hogwarts greatest mysteries and this school’s packing loads of them cunts.” Dean voices.

You chuckle while fixing yourself a drink, listening in on the boys being messy.

“I’m saying, like? He don’t even know what to do with that, he can’t handle all that.” Blaise says, reeking of jealousy. It was hilarious, you couldn’t hold back the giggles.

“No Weasley can handle a baddie, let alone a black goddess like Angela.” You chime in.

“Exactly. He needs to go for someone like Luna or Pansey, someone in his lane! No offense to them but that’s more Fred’s avenue. Not Angelina Johnson for Merlin's sake!”

You gasp, followed by a chortle. The gossiping behaviour between these two grown ass men was worse than you thought.

“Oh my god Blaise! I know you did not just say that! Not too much on Luna now, that’s my girl. I love that little weirdo.” You insert, jokingly death staring down Zabini. He stares back at you with knitted brows, challenging you. After a few seconds, he blinks and child-like laughter echoes throughout the kitchen from the three of you, laughing at the silly game.

Then Dean loudly clears his throat.

“No but listen, on the topic of Angie…I mean, shiettt, put me in coach. I can handle that.” Dean lowly blurts amongst the laughing.

Silence falls in the room, especially from you. You go mute, processing what he just said.

Blaise snorts.

“I mean you know what I mean? She need someone equipped for the job.”

Blaise daps Dean up in agreement. Both the boys cackle.

Your eyes unintentionally squint and you clench your grip on the bottle of liquor, completely thrown off guard by Dean’s comment. He sure knew how to get a raise out of you. You could hear he was joking, but still, your body reacted on its own accord, knotting up your stomach. You loudly puff out a sigh and plop the bottle back on the bench with a bang.

“Fuck, that was loud. My bad.” You stifly apologize.

“You’re alright.” Dean replies.

“You were saying?” You ask, then clear your throat.

Of course you didn’t want him to. But a sabotaging part of you wanted to see how far he’d take it.

“Look, Angela’s a ten outta ten. Peng as fuck, her body is crazy, and she’s got great banter. I’m first in line when she drops the dead weight that Fred is.”

Wow. He’s playing with fire. You couldn’t believe he’d froth over Angela like that right in front of you. It stinged to say the least.

The two boys cheer glasses and talk more about their thoughts on the couple.

You stir your drink, quietly wheezing to yourself hysterically. Nothing about what Dean said was funny to you, you just couldn’t believe the sheer audacity of him gawking over Angela whilst you were in the room, drunk or not.

Dean glances over to you with the utmost cheeky smirk, cocking up a brow. He was doing it on purpose and it was some kind of emotional torture he wanted to commit to you.

Why was he doing it? What is he getting out of this shit? you thought.

A smug look was locked on his face as he listened to Blaise carry on, but his gaze was focused on you. He watched you closely, seeing if he’d you’d give him any reaction at all, all while stifling back chuckles. Your silent rage of envy was amusing to him it seemed.

As Dean's eyes lingers on you, you feel your cheeks heat up in embarrassment and anger. You take a deep breath and try to compose yourself. You remind yourself that this is just Dean being his usual flirtatious self and that he probably didn't mean anything by it. But it still hurts and there was no refusing that.

You take a long sip of your drink, trying to distract yourself from the uncomfortable tension in the air. Soon the boys stop talking and you can feel Blaise and Dean's eyes on you, waiting for a response. But you don't give them the satisfaction. Instead, you change the subject.

"Talking about the Twins, did you guys hear about the prank that the twins pulled on Filch last week? Filch went off his head, it was hilarious!"

Blaise and Dean both laugh, relieved that the tension has been broken. They eagerly listen as you recount the details of the prank, and soon enough, everyone is laughing and joking again.

The rest of the night you barely spoke. You chuckled here and there, showing face in front of Blaise. But you were distracted, lost in intrusive thoughts. You couldn’t shake off Dean’s opinions about Angela. You were salty as fuck, so by the time it hit 2AM, you bowed out.

“As much as I’d love to stay up with you guys, I need to sleep. OWLS kicked my ass. I will see you wonderful people tomorrow.” You slide off the bench and grab the Tequila.

“Yeah shit, it’s almost 3. I’ll head too.” Dean checks his phone and stands up.

“Fair. But first, cuddle before bedtime.” Blaise drunkenly pulls you into a tight hug and pecks the top of your head. Blaise is the biggest softy, you had no idea how he was sorted into Slytherin.

“Okayyy mummy. Night Blaisey. Love ya” You tease, squeezing your arms around him.

“Night bub. Love you too.”

You pull away and head for the dorm hallway. The two boys hang back and say their goodbyes. You soon hear Dean catch up behind you, following you to the dorms. It was a quiet stroll to the rooms. There were many things you wanted to say but your pride had a tight muzzle on your mouth.

Dean breaks the silence, “He’s a good one, that Blaise.”

“Yeah, he’s the best. Love him.”

The rest of the way to your room was silent. You pass the corridor to the men’s dorm but he stays on your route, following you to the women's dorms.

You scoff.

If he thinks he’s getting some tonight, he’s got you all the way fucked up. You don’t mention him following you though, you figured you’d pop off at him in the room. And boy, was he in for a storm.

Dean laughs, catching your attitude. But he doesn’t say a word because he knew you wouldn't turn him away, you never do. Usual overconfident Dean behavior.

You were steaming all the way up to your door. Your blood wasn’t boiling, it was burning. You were contemplating blowing your cool and letting him have it right now and here out in the hallway. You couldn’t understand in the moment why he had you so vexed over banter but you didn’t care, you were hurting and he needed to know. But instead of blowing up on him, you decided silence was the best treatment to handle Thomas.

You huff back the emotions that were flooding to the surface, your face was heating up with rage - tears were sure to follow soon. You just needed to get inside your room before you let it all out.

You take your keys out of your jeans pocket to unlock the door and place the key to the hole but it doesn't budge. Your hands were shaking and you were on the verge of crying out of pure frustration. You already had a mountain of unexplainable feelings that was rocking your shit, this stupid key was just the cherry on top. Pursing your lips together, you swallow back the rogue wave emotions on your heart while staying faced to the door. You couldn’t let Dean see just how miserable you were over something so minor and stupid.

He closes in behind you. The warmth of his breath tickles your skin as he bends down and leans his chin in the crook of your neck.

“Give it here you goose.” He chuckles.

Taking the keys out of your hands, he unlocks and opens the door on the first try. You grumble cuss words under your breath. Even when helping you, you couldn’t stand him. Not right now, everything he did irked your soul.

You step into the apartment and head straight to your kitchen cabinet. There was a heavy weight of feelings on your chest and drinking it away was the only option. Yes, you were already drunk, but definitely not drunk enough to forget how crossed up he has you.

You slam open the kitchen cupboard door, grabbing the biggest cup you own and quickly fill it up with the Tequila in your other hand. Dean closes the door behind him and walks over to you.

“Woah there, fairy. I think the only thing you need to be drinking right now is water.”

He grabs the bottle and glass out of your hand, chucks the alcohol in your cup down the kitchen sink and fills it with water from the sink.

“Oh, so now you know what I need?”

He turns his head to you, furrowed in brows and squints his eyes. He studies your face, the way he looks at you makes you feel exposed. He knew what you were poking at, he could read every subliminal between your words.

“I didn’t mean it like that. I just don’t want you to wake up with a hangover in the morning.”

A soft friendly smile forms on his lips, which only riles you up more. Can he not read the fucking room?

“Yeah well, maybe I like waking up with hangovers.”

He snorts and turns off the tap, walking back over to you with the glass of water.

“Maybe you do. Looks like I’m learning something new about you everyday, beautiful. Drink this.”

You place your hand on your hip and stare back at him blank in the face. You weren't doing anything he wanted you to do.

“No, you drink it. And choke for all I care.”

You turn on your heels and head to the bathroom with the bottle of Don Julio still in your hand. He chortles, amused.

“Only if you’re the one doing the choking, baby.”

You grunt at his chirpy attitude, absolutely done with how witty he is. Usually you like it, he always says the right things to make you swoon over him, but now it was just ammo to get under your skin.

You turn on the showers, letting it run hot to steam up the room. As you undressed, you couldn’t help but feel stupid for letting Dean get to you. You take a gulp from the bottle.

With every clothing piece you took off, memories of him kissing that part of your body flooded your mind, accompanied by visuals of him doing that to Angela. It was tormenting. You take another sip from the bottle.

You step under the streaming water, letting it wash over your face. Finally, the tears fall. It felt good. You knew you were crying over something so silly but you didn’t want to compartmentalise, the only way you were getting through this was by letting yourself have a sook and feel everything, something you never did when it came to Dean. Feeling anything emotional towards Dean was something you put off limits from the beginning of your situationship with him, it kept your feelings safe in case things got ugly between you two. But now you were feeling the burn of setting that rule in the first place.

As you stood under the hot water, you let your mind wander. You thought about everything that had led up to this moment. You thought about how you and Thomas had started off as friends, and how things had escalated so quickly. You thought about the passion and the intensity that you had shared, and how it had felt like nothing could ever come between the two of you.

But now, as you stood there alone, you realized that things were different. You couldn't ignore the fact that Thomas had been with other people and could be hooking up with other girls right at this moment, and that he might not have been as committed to you as you had thought, even if it was just friends with benefits. You couldn't ignore the feeling of betrayal that had been gnawing at your heart since you had found out how he felt about Angela.

When you began hooking up with Dean, you had no idea it would cause so much pent up frustration and desire in your body. Sex would help release this energy from the system, but there was an emotional side to things that had you questioning everything. Surely after some time, you began to ask yourself:

“Do I have feelings for Dean?”

Just hearing those words in your thoughts made you angry.

“Fuck!” You yell, “What is wrong with you?!” you ask yourself in frustration.

How could you let it get this far? How could you let Dean work his natural love potion on you? You thought you were better than this. Better than all the other girls who fell for his stupid addictive charm.

Three knocks tap on the bathroom door.

“Are you okay?” Dean asks, concern in his voice.

“Yes.” You sniffle.

You see him in the reflection of the bathroom glass, taking off his clothes and shoes, all he was left in was a singlet and boxers. He walks towards you and opens the shower door and leans his arm up against the shower frame. You face towards the shower head, not giving him any form of attention.

“The waters getting out.” You protest.

“I don’t care. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“Hmmm.”

He pulls his singlet over his head, tossing it aside and kicks off his briefs, stepping into the shower and closing the door.

Tears were still streaming from your eyes, you stood underneath the flush of the water. You didn’t want to let him see you in tears. A few painful minutes go by and you hesitate to tell him off. Although you were mad with him, you loved sharing showers with him, it was one of the few intimate things that you did with him that wasn’t sex.

You sniffle and clear your croaky throat, it was a dead giveaway.

Dean steps closer under the water, saying a wandless spell to the soap, which placed a dollop of cleanser in his hands. He places both hands on your shoulders, lathering up and covering every inch of your body with the suds.

Dean dials down the water temperature and makes it a sweet warm stream and sways you by your waist from under the water.

He was smooth, even in instances like this. He didn’t need to use spells or charms, he just intuitively had a way with you that always got to your core. He observes you, adjusts his approach and works his magic on you.

“Y’know,” He pulls the hair in front of your face behind your neck and plants a soft kiss on your shoulder, “You’re allowed to tell me when I fuck up.”

“Huh?”

“I know I said something that made you uncomfortable, you can tell me.”

You turn your head to look at him, surprised by his admission. He was usually so confident and self-assured, it was refreshing to see him vulnerable like this.

“I just don’t know what to say,” you admit, feeling ashamed of your own emotions.

“You don’t have to say anything,” he reassures you, “We both can just be silent for all I care. I just want you to know that I’m here for you, always.”

He leans in and kisses you gently on the lips, his arms wrapping around you in a comforting embrace. For a moment, you allow yourself to be held, to feel safe in his arms. But then reality hits you like a ton of bricks.

You push him away, suddenly feeling claustrophobic in the small shower space.

“No, you’re not here for me. That’s not what it felt like when we were with Blaise,” you accuse him, the anger rising up in your voice, “You just want to keep me around for when you’re bored or lonely. You don’t actually care about me.” you exclaim, accidentally revealing your resentment.

Dean looks hurt by your words, but he doesn’t back down.

His hand slides up from your thighs to your waist.

“I knew something was wrong. You don’t have to act with me. Just tell me what I did.” He calmly says.

His touch goes over your stomach, just above your nether regions, but he doesn’t go further, Dean knew to be gentle with you in the moment.

“Forget it. I’m just trying to shower.” You say, pulling away from his grasp, retreating back to icing him out

He goes to speak but he pauses, you could see on his face that he was calculating his next words. Lost in his thoughts, he says a spell to the body wash again and goes over his body.

You lean against the shower wall, arms crossed, bottle still in hand and looking up to the ceiling. Tears still falling from your eyes disguised as droplets of shower water.

Dean grabs the bottle from your hold and pulls you into the water with him, tilting your head up to his.

“I wasn’t born yesterday and I know you weren't either, so there’s no point in either of us playing dumb. I’m sorry– please believe me.”

You clench your jaw.

“About what?”

“What I said about Angela. It was stupid. I only said it to get a rise out of you.”

Is this shit a game to him? Your emotions just a ploy for him. And for what? Just so he can feel better about himself? You wanted to hear an apology from him but you didn’t expect it to come with the harsh reality of the situation.

“You’re right, it was stupid. I don’t care though.” You lie through gritted teeth, “What does it matter? You were only speaking your truth.”

“That’s the thing. I wasn't. I was saying all that shit just to get a reaction outta’ you and it was beyond wrong to do that. You don’t deserve that.”

You meet his eyes, he looks completely sincere and open but you quickly look away, feeling a small sob build at the bottom of your throat. The liquor had taken over your emotions and was ready to let it all pour out.

“Why Dean? What's the point?”

“I don’t know. I guess I thought if I said that, you would’ve said something, anything. Maybe I just wanted to hear you claim m—”

“No, Dean. You didn’t hear me. What’s the point of us?”

He stares into both of your eyes, trying to figure you out. Under his gaze, usually you would melt but right now, all you felt was a sense of grief.

“Right…oh, righttt.” He sternly responds.

He loosens his grip on you and tilts his head, squinting his eyes and licks his bottom lip, a grim smile forms on his lips as he starts to sarcastically laugh.

“Oh. Message received.”

He leans down and places his lips on your forehead, chuckling against your skin while giving you a kiss then exiting the shower, taking no time to dry himself with the towel from the rack.

“When you’re done with whatever this is, let me know.”

You stand there, feeling a mix of confusion, anger, and desire all at once. You can hear the sound of the bathroom door closing as Dean leaves, and you're left alone in the shower, still processing everything that just happened.

You take a deep breath and turn off the water, stepping out of the shower and grabbing a towel from the rack. You take one last chug of tequila before placing it on the sink. As you dry yourself off, you can't help but feel disappointment. You didn’t know what you wanted. You were torn between giving him the cold shoulder, letting him feel your anger or to give in, let him right his wrongs and lay up in his arms where you wanted to be.

You swipe your hand across the foggy mirror above the bathroom sink and look back at your reflection, red eyes and puffy eyelids from crying. You knew what the reasonable thing to do was but somewhere deep down, you knew this was an internal issue. You longed to be consistently chosen, whether you wanted to admit it or not, it was an inner turmoil that you had and Dean just happened to be the person who you wanted to act on it. It was unfair to him to put him in such a position without him knowing, but you wanted him to just know what you wanted and to provide it instantly. It was selfish of you but you couldn't help it.

The bitter truth stands - he’s wasn’t your boyfriend, you weren’t in a relationship with him and he wasn’t officially yours. How could you possibly ask him to do boyfriend things without actually being your man. Which posed the next question:

“Do I want to be Dean’s girlfriend?”

You wince again at the intimate ideas flooding in. But the wonder stayed with you this time, replaying back memories in your mind of Dean’s beautiful smile before he laces you with kisses all over your face. You wanted that, all the time. You wanted him all the time.

You finish drying off and walk to the bedroom, still lost in your thoughts. As you approach the bedroom door you see Dean sitting on the edge of your bed, scrolling through his phone.

He looks up as you enter the room, and his expression softens. "Hey," he says, patting the seat next to him. "Come sit."

You hesitate for a moment before taking a seat next to him. He puts his arm around you and pulls you close, and you feel a sudden rush of warmth.

"I'm sorry for how I acted in the shower. Actually I’m sorry for everything," he says, his voice gentle. "I didn't mean to upset you, I was acting out of line this whole night. I just wanted to make things right."

You turn to look at him, and his eyes meet yours. You can see the honesty in his stare, and you feel yourself start to soften. Just as you open your mouth to apologize, he speaks.

“And look, if you don’t want to be around me right now, I understand. I’ll leave-”

He goes to stand up but you pull him by the hem of his shirt. By now you were more wasted than you anticipated and didn't want to be alone with your intrusive thoughts.

“No. Stay.” You slur out.

Relieved, he sits back down and looks at you in silence for a few moments, a flicker in his eyes.

“God, look at you. You’re so cute.”

He squeezes your cheeks between his hands once before getting up from your bed and walking towards your drawers, opening them and shuffling clothes around.

“What are you doing?”

“Pyjamas. It’s time you go to bed, you.”

You giggle burp. You didn’t want to go to sleep, you still wanted to talk about your feelings to him. But for some reason you found it endearing he wanted to put you to bed without sex being in the context.

Dean picks out a set of comfy clothes and walks back over to you.

“Up.” He orders you. Your towel drops to your feet and he fits your shirt over your head then continues to dress you in your clothes.

“Somni Modus (Bedtime mode).” Dean says a wandless spell which dims the lighting, lights the candles, puffs your pillows and pulls back your covers. You crawl to your side of the bed and Dean joins you on the other side, pulling the covers over you.

He leans on a pillow and props himself up on an elbow, facing you, watching your dizzy drunk self get comfortable in bed, cuddling a small pillow. He smiles, looking at you in awe. You roll over and feel the urge to pour your heart out to him,

“I probably wouldn’t say this to you when I’m sober but I think I-”

He cuts you off.

"Darling, you’re way too intoxicated right now. I promise we can talk more when you’re in the right state of mind. Just come and find me, and I’ll listen, okay? But for now, you need some rest.”

You pout, slightly saddened. There were still some things you wanted to get off your chest. But you don’t argue with him, your eyelids was feeling heavy and the room was spinning the more you tried to stay awake.

Dean tucks you in and kisses your forehead, then heads towards the door.

As he's about to leave, you reach out and grab his hand. "Please don't go," you say, looking up at him with pleading eyes.

He pauses, then smiles softly and sits back down next to you, pulling you into a soft embrace. "I won't go anywhere," he says, stroking your hair, "I'll stay here with you until you fall asleep."

You feel a wave of gratitude wash over you, and you snuggle closer to him, feeling safe and protected in his arms.

As you drift off to sleep, you realize that maybe, just maybe, everything will be okay with him after all.

______________________

Currently…

That was the last you heard from Dean. Your memories of the night had a few blanks, considering how much you drank, though you definitely remember how you felt. You spent many days, wracking your brain over why the night panned out like that and why he would promise to listen to you if he was just gonna ignore you in the first place.

You decided when you fully woke up, that was it. No more using your voluptas wand (Pleasure wand) and pretending it was Dean. You needed an explanation, a good fuck and to be on talking terms again and he was the only person who could give it to you. You flicked open his school schedule on your phone, which he had previously sent you so you would know his free periods for quickies or some head in the Elf janitor closet. You two were just that ravenous for each other.

You scrolled to his classes for the day and saw that he had a morning quidditch game against Slytherin. Dean had to be already up at the field, stretching and preparing for the match, he was an early bird.

You stand up from your bed and commit to your decision. You take a brisk shower and dress for the occasion - not showing too much so it shows you mean business but leaving out a little skin for a subtle hint of slutty to show him what he's been missing. Perfect.

It was a cold lengthy walk down to the Quidditch field. No one was awake except for the winter birds, owls and the sun kissing the sky with orange hues. As you neared closer to the male Quidditch changing tent, you went over in your mind exactly what you were going to say to him.

“So, no text? No. That’s lame. Okay, so when were you gonna tell me we weren’t doing this anymore. Ew! that too mushy for 5AM in the morning ,Y/K.” You thought to yourself.

Every sentence that came to conception only made you sound needy and that you wanted him more than you were willing to let him know. But you missed him badly, and you wanted him again for crying out loud! it was the truth. Him finding this out was a risk you were gonna have to take.

You stop out the front of the tent opening and release a big heavy sigh.

“Here goes nothing.”

You lift up the material of the tents doors and see the man of the hour. Butterflies swarm your insides. This had to be the first time you’ve ever felt anxious around him.

“Dean?”

He pauses his stretching and turns around. His beautiful cinnamon brown eyes travel from your legs, up to your eyes. He starts walking over to you with rush in his step.

“Right, so I don’t what’s happening between us but I–”

“Well, look who decided to come around.” He finally speaks.

Dean grabs your face into the palm of his hands and pulls you into a haste kiss. His tongue took no time finding yours. The tense from your body drops as you find yourself seeping into his pull, right where you want to be.

The feel of lips and touch felt like feeding an addiction you’ve been weaned off for eons and you’re getting a much needed hit again. But you still had questions. You pull from his kiss and ask away.

“First of all, why didn’t you hit me up? And ignoring me?”

“I was waiting.”

“For?”

“For when you’d make the first move.”

Your mouth opens wide as it forms into a smirk. From the sounds of it, he wanted to be chased by you. So the man has emotional needs and wants besides getting a load off. Who knew?

“Dean Thomas playing the waiting game? Seriously?”

“Oh shut up. I missed you.” he gives you another deep kiss then comes up, “That’s the last time I’m waiting for you to make the call. You almost drove me mad, woman.” his hands slides underneath your skirt and palms your ass cheek in his hand.

You press your body up against his, feeling his member already bricked up. And just like that, gasoline was thrown into the fiery tension between you two like it never left and it felt like pure electricity.

“Please tell me you didn’t jerk off. I want you at your best.”

“Like I said, I was waiting for you. Nothing can satisfy me the way you do.” He says, his lips trailing down your neck, leaving a trail of kisses and bites.

You moan in response, feeling the heat rising between your legs. You pull him closer, your hands gripping his biceps tightly.

“We’re gonna need to have a serious talk but I need this first.” You breathe out as your hand slips down to his 9 inch member over his shorts while his hands explore your body.

“Of course. We can talk things over. Do me a favor first, pretty girl? bend over.” He takes your hand, spinning you around and positions you over the stacked bat trunk. You oblige to his request and bend over the case, exposing all of your sex to him.

Dean wastes no time, pulling up your skirt and pulling down your panties, revealing your wetness. He smirks at the sight, knowing he's the only one who can make you this soaked. He takes a moment to appreciate the view before teasingly running a finger over your folds, making you gasp.

“Please, Dean. Don't tease me. It’s been too long, I can’t wait anymore” You moan out, your body trembling with need.

He chuckles and slides a finger inside of you, pumping it slowly. He adds another finger, hitting all the right spots. He was pumping your pleasure button to new highs, making you buck back against his long strong fingers. You can feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge, your body starts to shake.

“Dean baby, I'm gonna cum.” You whimper out, unable to hold on any longer, and just before you feel the eruption of bliss, he pulls out.

He places a kiss on the back of your neck, “Wait for me baby. I know you miss it.”

And just like that, Dean’s Gryffindor jersey shorts and briefs drop to his ankles, you feel his member hot and hard rubbing against your ass cheeks. He takes his time and slides the tip down between your cheeks, against your asshole, to your hungry flesh. He pushes in slowly and immediately you feel the evidence of his absence. His size hurt like hell but it hurt so good, it already sent you over the edge into climax.

“You kept it nice and tight for me baby, hmmm?”

He dips in deeper, filling you up wholly, hitting your pleasure spot at the back of your pussy, driving you wild. You were gushing all over his dick yet as he pulls back, you feel the friction of your walls wrapped around him like a fitted glove, as if your pussy was designed just for him to fuck in.

He holds the hem of his shirt through his gritted teeth so it didn’t block the view. He wanted to see every motion of your needy cunt taking him whole. He paces himself while adjusting his tip at your entrance again. The tension and anticipation between the two of you was thick and vicious. Both of you knew what was about to go down, once he starts stroking, it’s game over for your precious walls.

Leaning down to you, he grabs a heap of your hair and twirls it in a fist, pulling your head back so his cheek was gashing against yours while he busts his first thrust into you, making your body jerk in intense euphoria. He goes again and again, until he picks up a rhythm. Your bodies rub together in heated unison, stimulating your senses to the nastiest levels possible, as he shoves kisses to your mouth, sucking on your tongue and leaving sloppy kisses on your cheeks and ear, thirsting for your affection. With every stroke, you’re sent into an oblivion of pure ecstasy.

Muffled grunts and mumbles of pleasure was all you could hear. It was killing Dean not to talk his shit. He’s a vocal lover, he knew all the right things to say that would brings out the animalistic freak in you. But in this tent, soft moans and whispers was all he could give you.

You rock your core back against his length, making him damn near lose all control and grip your hips with a tight hook as if he was cautiously trying to steady you. Throwing it back on him was a dangerous game, the control you had over him in the moment was unbearable. He desperately slows down his rhythm, nears your ear and mutters through his breath, “Oh, so you wanna play like that, huh?”

A devilish smile grows on your lips and you catch your breath in the quick spell he’s giving your walls.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You cluelessly respond.

“You know exactly what you’re doing.”

He pants on top of you, nestling his face in your hair, taking in your scent and licking up the droplets of sweat on your back.

“Two can play that game, sweetheart.” He mumbles into your skin.

A half smile forms on his lips as he slams back into you. He chuckles as you begin to lose it under him again, the sight of your unraveling was pure entertainment for him. He was well aware of just how good he puts it on you.

He stands up and spreads your cheeks apart while observing the view.

“I love seeing your pretty pussy take this dick. Why’s that pussy so good, hmm?” He grunts out.

Dean halts and draws back so only the tip is in.

“I said, why is that pussy so good?” he squeezes your face between his hand and turns your head to him, making you look up at him in the eyes as he rams in and out of you, leaving you silently gasping for air. Rolls of the orgasms he gave you just moments ago were still coming over you.

“I think I need to fuck you before every match.”

He picks his pace back up, filling you entirely. Bending down, his lips swipe across yours, teasing your desperate mouth.

“I bet you’d like that. Wouldn’t you? Tearing that pussy up every game.”

You look back to find his eyes piercing into yours as he strokes you down. He had you exactly where he wanted you: under him, stretched and slutted out. He was driving you insane.

You moan in response, feeling his wood flesh you out like there was no tomorrow. The idea of being fucked by him every match was both exhilarating and dangerous. You knew it would be hard to resist him before every match, knowing he had pent up aggression for the quidditch field. It was intimidating how easily he dominated you like this. But right now, all you could think about was how good it made you feel, being his little cum bucket.

“Yes,” you gasp out, “I want you to fuck me every game.”

“That’s what I like to hear. You always spread your legs for me like a good fucking whore, no matter the time or place.”

His features soften and his eyebrows furrow in. He closes his eyes and crashes lips to yours, groaning in your mouth. His strokes deepened inside you to the back of your walls, he wouldn’t dare to pull back a single inch, he wanted to feel all your tightness around him. You clench your pussy lips as he rests balls deep inside you, the pleasure mixing in the pain of his shaft hitting your cervix sent you over once more. You bend further across the trunk, trying to process all the sensations he was giving you, shying from his stroke.

Dean pulls you back, burrying his cock deeper than he was before. You whimper through another nut with teary eyes and slippery sweat all over your body. There wasn’t any words you could fathom that could explain the bliss he was fucking into you.

“Don’t run, baby. Be a good girl, take it.” he whispers, watching your face go through levels of rapture.

He pauses and strokes one more time, steadying himself before giving you another row of toe curling plows. Retracting out and immediately ramming right back in. He continuously rips into you, not giving you a single moment to gather yourself.

“Take it. Take all this fucking dick. I missed this pussy too much. I missed you so much baby!”

His voice cracks into a deep tone, moaning out all his nasty thoughts to you, “You feel so good, you always do. My pretty little whore.”

And just like that, hearing him talk nasty to you sparks the freak in you to life. You start fucking him back, applying all the pressure to his cock.

“Yes baby. I’m a fucking whore. I’m your whore.” You screech out.

You were gone, completely lost in the heat of passion. Dean bought out filthy taboo in you that you didn’t even know had a place in your desires.

“Use me like a fucking toy. I’m just an object for your cum. Nut inside me.”

“Oh fuckkkk.”

His cum shoots against the back of your core. As much as he tried, he couldn’t hold back the roaring moan that left his mouth. You felt his load fill you to the brim as it oozed outside your slit and down the back of your thighs.

“Damn girl, what the…fuck. I haven’t nut that good in a minute…” He weakly pants, his body going limp against yours.

You tiredly chuckle, too exhausted to try to speak, basking in all the high sensations still running through your body.

He doesn’t pull out, he smiles and moves the strands of hair that were slicked against your face behind your ear.

“So that’s what you like? Being my toy?” He inquisitively mumbles between huffs, leaving soft pecks against your bare skin.

You freeze in embarrassment, wanting to hide from his grasp and gaze.

“Oh my g- I don’t even know why I said that. I say stupid shit when we fuck.”

“Well hold on now, who said it was stupid?”

You cover your face in embarrassment with your hand. Sure, the thought of him using you like a fleshlight is enough to make you cum from the thought alone but you couldn’t admit that to him, that was sensitive information for only you, your toys and your spank bank to know. Plus, it would only make him more arrogant knowing how much power play gets you off.

“If you’d allow it, I think you’d make a perfect beautiful tight toy for me.” He caresses your thigh, soothing over the indented marks of his fingers from digging into your skin.

He brings your hands from your face as he hardens inside you, already ready to make a slut out of you again.

You gasp and look at him with widened eyes. “Already?”

“Baby, you actually feel like heaven…can you blame me?” He tilts his head and smiles that cocky all knowing smile.

“You’re such a slut.” you laugh off.

“That makes two of us, sweetheart.”

He gives you a kiss accompanied by slow strokes. You coo from the soreness of your walls being worn out but you ached for another round, his sex was a pleasurable craving you would never get enough of.

From a far distance, you can hear a crowd of people chatting and laughing.

“Fuck. Shit. What time is it?” Dean abruptly tugs his full length out of you, pulling up his shorts.

“I’m not sure? I lost track of time ages ago.” You frantically look around you and over the trunk for your underwear.

Dean helps you look around and remembers he put it in the pocket of his shorts when he was undressing you.

“I think you’ll be needing this.”

He gets down on his knees and helps you put the panties back on, wiping his cum away from your thighs with a gym towel from the equipment basket. He slows his pace when he draws his touch up to your hips. You raise your brows, wondering why he stops rushing.

“Dean?”

He lays a kiss on you clit against the fabric and looks up at you with bright eyes and a smirk, caressing the back of your thigh.

“You free after the game? I have a feeling I’ll be needing to use my toy.”

“What? You ask now with people right outside? You know you can just text me after the game.”

He stands up and pulls you by your waist into him.

“I could, but I wanna hear you say it.”

He bites down on his bottom lips, waiting for the magic words. You antsily look at the exit of the tent, ready for players to start rolling in at any moment.

“Dean! They’re right outside.”

He raises his brows, not budging to let go of you. Either he didn’t give a fuck that anyone knew you were fucking or he was just that naturally bold and stubborn. You were sure it was the latter. Either way, you couldn’t resist his charm.

“Yes, I have a free period after your game to fuck.” You submit, coyly smiling and rolling your eyes.

Satisfied, he presses his lips against yours. “Good girl.”

“Okay, now I’m leaving.” you say against his kiss and step away to head for the exit.

“Yeah, get of here ya’ weirdo! Why are you in the male changing tents anyways? Pervert!” He exclaims loud enough for even the people outside to hear.

You halt and turn back at him in disbelief, breaking into laughter.

“You’re fucking annoying, you know that?”

“You love it.” He chuckles and gives your ass a quick slap.

You scoff. Before you could give a proper reply, the male cohort of the quidditch team enter into the tent.

“Morning Dean…and Y/K?” Ron approaches.

“Left my phone in the common room last night. Good thing Y/K is like totally obsessed with me and knew I had a game this morning.” Dean jokes, mimicking an American valley girl accent, “She came and dropped it off for me first thing.” he shoots you a wink as he makes the sneaky innuendo.

The balls on this guy. Unbelievable. You had to admit, it was fucking sexy though.

“Well that’s the last time I do that. I’ll just let the house elves take it to lost and found next time.”

He laughs. “That’s fair. Thanks anyways bro.”

Bro. Oh he’s really selling it, this guy needs an academy. You’re aware he’s only showing face but for crying out loud, it’s too soon, his cum is still warm inside you. No matter the fuss though, it’s him who’s gonna be moaning baby when you ride the brakes off him later.

You look once over at Ron then shoot Dean a thin lipped smile.

“Don’t mention it, bruv. Just focus on winning, we don’t need any more house points to Slytherin. Knock em’ dead.”

His brow cocks up as he squints, catching all the shade you’re throwing his way. It was written all over his face, he didn’t like that.

“Cheers.” Ron exclaims with a big grin.

You turn on your heels and make for the exit. The way you keep up antics to hide your affair in front of others was Oscar worthy at this point. Although it kept things on the hush-hush, it was exhausting. But my oh my, did Dean hate it. He was a poor example for a fuck buddy. He talked a good game but at the heart of it all, he was sensitive, needed reassurance from time to time and to be claimed out loud. If you knew what it would take for him to stop ignoring you, you would’ve acted on that weeks ago. At least that was the one thing you had over him, you knew Dean Thomas’s secret longing to be wanted and loved.

As selfish as it was, now that you knew his little secret, you now have the upper hand over this situationship. He’s not the only king of hearts anymore; you’re right besides him, sitting pretty on the throne for the queen.

As you leave, you raise your skirt higher, leaving a little cheek out and sway your hips as you exit, giving Dean a cheeky tease. Just enough to make him stiff in his shorts and sexually frustrated. You glance back and see Dean adjusting and tucking away his wood. Laughter erupts from you as you walk out the tent, it was actually hilarious how easy you make him fold.

You were sure you’re gonna catch some heat for it later.

But now after this morning, you realized you like how vexed he gets from your stunts of the need for attention.

Well, solely because it makes him fuck you harder.

#Alfred Enoch fanfiction #Alfie Enoch fanfiction #Dean Thomas fanfiction #Dean Thomas smut #Alfred Enoch smut #Hogwarts fanfiction #black reader smut #hogwarts x black reader #black fem reader #Dean thomas x reader #alfred enoch x reader #alfie enoch x reader #dean thomas imagine #harry potter smut #harry potter fanfiction #black reader fanfiction

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nolongerapileofashprobably · 6 months

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What do you think about link and Zelda’s characters?

I wonder if this is specifically Zelda and Link from the Wild Era— I’ll assume so since it is the newest era and I have been primarily focused on Wild Era games recently.

I’ll start with Zelda’s character first— to put it plainly, I love her as a character. She grows and develops despite witnessing literal tragedies and shouldering the weight of a kingdom from birth. Her duty was set forth the moment the prophecy came to light and she was put at a disadvantage when her mother died.

If we remember, Zelda didn’t cry at her mother’s funeral. We know from the game that Zelda is quite an emotional character, so her putting on a front of placing so much on herself at such a young age is something that breaks my heart. But to see how she grows as a person, how she overcomes that emotional blockage through sheer love, how she handles the wreckage of the Calamity, how she develops as a leader, to finally how she becomes a Queen is by far the most powerful and beautiful Zelda character arc in the series. She is so beloved in my heart that I cannot formulate the words to describe those emotions, though I desperately try.

There is no Zelda in the entire series that I adore and cherish more than her (and I’ve played nearly all the games). She’s on another level of development and complexity that it truly hurts to see people completely warp her personality and her actions to justify a false narrative.

Her character is incredibly strong, not just magically, but in terms of actual character design, development, and the execution of her story. She has her flaws, and we actively see her work on them and course correct when she can. That is something so mature and important (and I don’t think people give her enough credit for that). I genuinely don’t have many critiques of her character, as I was genuinely happy with her through the entirety of the story.

Link on the other hand… I do love him. I do. Link is a strong character physically, but his development is incredibly scarce compared to Zelda. His character suffers from Nintendo’s choice to essentially make Link a ‘link to the player’ rather than his own person. With a story that incites powerful emotional responses when players cannot refuse that Zelda and Link 1) are incredibly close/bonded, probably lowkey codependent 2) have not left each other’s side since they were reunited and finally that they are 3) probably romantically involved, or something akin to transcending just a simple friendship, it’s difficult to ensure that experience when all of that is lost on those who decide that it isn’t true.

Mind you, everything I listed above are simple and straightforward interpretations of in-game evidence. And we do see a lot more from Link’s character this game with small gasps and micro expressions (that should NOT be ignored). But for those who do not agree with the above, it’s likely they disliked the story. That’s okay, not everyone will like the story. But a lot of it stems from this vagueness Nintendo established for Link’s character.

He was a kid beating soldiers in the guard, trained in Zora’s Domain, continued training, got the Master Sword when he was a preteen, had the weight of a prophecy placed on him as the first piece besides Zelda, and then became a Champion and Zelda’s Knight Attended by the age of 16/17. Homeboy did have a lot of trauma and stress at an early age that did cause selective muteness and for him to create this stoic mask. We see that he is much less stoic and more talkative after the Calamity and after, but it’s all relative to what the player wants/feels. Sometimes that contradicts what the story itself implies/tells players.

Link is… wasted potential as a character. He could have 100% been more than what we were given to see. I have crafted my own version of him that to me, is as close as canon as I could get, but that won’t be the same for anyone else. Link is precisely what Nintendo wanted him to be and he serves that purpose perfectly.

And it works, but it could have been executed a bit better by confirming things regarding his character rather than leaving breadcrumbs for players to follow if they decided to.

So yeah. Zelda is amazing and I love her. Link could have been executed better but for what we got, I still love him too and extracted enough to formulate as close to canon interpretation without being overly biased (at least I tried).

#I just love my little scholar and her guard dog boyfriend #I just think they’re neat #botw Zelda #botw link #botw zelink #totk zelda #totk link #totk zelink #zelink #loz totk #loz botw #totk Spoilers #botw #the legend of zelda #link botw #zelda botw #loz tears of the kingdom spoilers #the legend of zelda breath of the wild

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aroacebkgo · 3 months

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Hi hi hi I was wondering if you could write headcanons about cg!Luke or cg!Clarisse with a little that has an age range of 5-9? Or little!Clarisse headcanons? (You can pick the one you do im jusy hyperfixated on Clarisse rn 😭)

LUKE AND CLARISSE WITH A LITTLE WHO’S 5-9

A/N: I’m gonna do both because I love both of them so much. And I really hope this is right, I’m personally a younger regressor so I hope I didn’t get anything wrong! ^^’

Also this will include book spoilers on Luke’s part-

Clarisse La Rue

Clarisse is usually very unemotional. She is angry, aggressive, and violent.

Except towards you.

When it comes to you, she’s extremely protective, loving, and supportive. She would shield you from any sort of harm or danger and she’d gladly drive her spear through anyone who dared even look at you wrong.

She’s a very protective caregiver. She loves taking you outside and playing with you, but you must hold her hand at all times, and you aren’t allowed to touch anything dangerous.

She likes being called “Mom” or “Mama”, they make her feel really protective of you and she thinks they sound really cute coming from you.

Whenever you guys go outside, she has to hold your hand unless you’re playing outside or running around or something with her permission and she’s keeping an eye on you. She really likes hanging out in the strawberry fields with you. It’s peaceful and she tends to steal strawberries for you both.

She doesn’t have much money, and she rarely ever leaves Camp Half-blood, but she tries to buy you toys if you want any! But you mostly just play outside and play games with her to keep yourself entertained.

Clarisse is actually surprisingly really good at comforting people, so if you regress because of trauma and today is a bad day, or if you just need some comfort, she’s got you. If you want to ramble, she’ll hold you in her arms and let you ramble. If you want a distraction, she’ll play games with you until you’re bored. Whatever you want, she’ll do it. Because she loves you.

Because you’re a bit older, she isn’t too strict with you, however like I said, she has outside rules for your safety. She also has a strict bedtime for you and makes sure you eat enough during breakfast, lunch, and dinner. If you don’t eat enough, you’re not allowed to play until you finish your food. If you don’t go to bed on time, you won’t get to have any sweets for a couple days.

She actually doesn’t mind if her friends know or if people see. Yeah, she has a reputation to uphold and a persona to keep up, but like I said, she’s extremely protective and aggressive to literally everyone but you and a couple other people.

God forbid anybody try to say anything mean to you period, especially about your age regression. That will not end well for them. She doesn’t even try to use words, she just punches them. Girlboss.

Luke Castellan

So, this takes place after he betrays and joins the titans. You also join the titan army. I do not see him becoming a caregiver before he betrays, mainly because he knows he’s going to leave soon, and he doesn’t really see the point in developing such a strong, emotional bond with someone only to just. Leave. The only reason he was close to people like Annabeth was because he knew her long before he knew he was gonna betray.

Everything is very dangerous on the Princess Andromeda. There’s monsters literally everywhere you look, and hordes of weapons scattered about too. It is kind of a war ship in a way, after all.

You are literally the only person he truly cares about anymore. You’re the only person he hasn’t manipulated or lied to. He only cares about you, and he’s extremely protective over you.

He feels bad, but you have to stay in his room with him whenever you regress. It’s too dangerous otherwise. He doesn’t know what other people might try to do to you. He can’t risk it. You’re his baby and he doesn’t want you getting hurt.

He doesn’t mind what you call him, but parental ones like “Dad”, make him feel really special. Especially if your godly parent is your father, because it makes him feel like you’re slapping the gods in the face and he finds that funny!

He buys you toys whenever he goes out off the ship for whatever reason. He spoils you literally so much. You have all of the Calico Critters plus all the play sets and houses.

He is also actually really good at comforting and supporting you. He’ll hold you, reassure you, and give you little kisses all over your face whenever you need love and support. He gets really bad nightmares, so if you have a nightmare and regress, he’d be glad to hold you and comfort you. He knows what it’s like.

Like I said, he is strict with you. You cannot leave the room when little. You must go to bed by 9pm. You shower every other day. You eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner at set times everyday. You don’t get desert if you’ve misbehaved and he isn’t afraid to put you in time out of take away a couple toys if he feels like he needs to or the situation calls for it.

This is a very private thing for him, mostly because he’s surrounded by monsters and other. More violent people. All the time. And also he’s fighting a war and you’re one of his weak spots, so he’s not exactly gonna go flaunting it around. He isn’t ashamed of it or anything, he actually wishes you guys could be more open about it. It’s just too dangerous!

If anybody were to find out and they said anything mean about it, he would just get them killed. They’d be fed to the monsters on the ship or they’d just be thrown overboard. Either one he feels like. He won’t tolerate anybody talking bad about his little one.

#age regression #agere #clarisse la rue #Luke Castellan #Percy Jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #PJO

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louzathame · 7 months

Text

𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐈 𝐖𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐀 𝐍𝐎𝐂𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐄 𝐒𝟐:

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR THOSE WHO HAVEN’T SEEN NETFLIX’S CASTLEVANIA NOCTURNE.

𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐈𝐅:

After finishing the series, I couldn’t help but feel there was so much more that they could have added/implemented. I DO like the series at the moment but I feel there can be some room for improvement - it has so much more potential.

___________________

NOCTURNE CRITICISM:

PROS:

- The animation was absolutely Gorgeous and I loved all the watercolour scenes - I thought that was a good touch. It still felt like I was watching Castlevania

- I adored the character designs - especially Drolta’s look. It’s a different take from the original series and it stands out a lot; it’s also one of my personal favourites. I loved seeing the different takes of characters as well.

- The music and soundtrack was just as good as ever. I especially loved hearing “Opposing bloodlines”.

- I like how some of the characters were written. However, they don’t come off as strong as the original. Regardless, they were okay and at the same time likeable.

I especially enjoyed most of the characters including Orlox and the newest: Edouard. Not forgetting to mention his lovely voice. He helps make scenes more emotional and come off stronger. I love the diversity and cultures Castlevania has to offer and has added; I love every single one of the characters. It’s so great to see all different beautiful cultures.

- I noticed along with some other friends that there were some popular anime references snuck into the show which I really liked. Although I don’t watch anime, it’s still pretty cool and fun to see!

- And of course the ending. I was over the moon when I saw Alucard appear again and it was the cherry on the top for me. At the same time, it was bitter sweet but at the same time I was sort of expecting it. He’s one of my favourite characters of all time so there’s nothing bad I want to say here. Definitely a cheeky but yet great way for engagement, for the die hard fans and Alucard-lovers ( such as yours truly). Something everyone can enjoy and look forward to.

CONS:

- The pacing wasn’t the best. I feel Nocturne was very rushed and the writers didn’t allow enough time for more character development and arcs.

For example Richter’s character development wasn’t all that. I wished he got more screen time as I also feel like 95% of the show is about Annette. Really in writing you’re supposed to show a character a lot of they have a significant impact in the story ( I know she’s a main character and all but what ties?) she is a great character and has her flaws she needs to overcome but I feel the writers are forgetting Richter is the star of the show. I know she’s a love interest and I don’t know if they’re trying to make the audience like her more by showing us more things about her but he barely got any screen time at all, in my opinion.

Another thing I’d like to add is Juste’s out-of-the-blue appearance. He just randomly appears for two episodes and we never see him again nor know where he went. Like what was the point? I assume he was a pillar for Richter’s development but so much more could have been done here! I know many fans like him as a character by himself and it’s quite a risky move to have 2 Belmonts in one show. His appearance was okay but I feel like it didn’t tie to the story very well. I felt like there could have been more episodes with the two to strengthen their bond.

Looking back at the main cast, I can understand why people are unhappy with Richter’s character. It’s okay to give a character weakness and trauma and they’ve done it well but what makes me laugh is how Annette mocks his PTSD. To be honest, Annette’s character has a lot of flaws. I get she’s supposed to be a strong female lead but she comes to him for help yet jeers and says he doesn’t need him? Also that blushing scene was well out of the blue and at a bad time. I do like her but she has so much more work needing to be done.

And when Richter got his powers back. Where was the climax for that? It felt very rushed and there was no build up AT ALL. Stuff like that would take time and building - it all felt too rushed. There wasn’t enough emotion and build up for that to happen. It happen far too quickly.

Maria was absolutely fine and I enjoyed the mother’s backstory, regardless.

I wasn’t too keen of the main villain. I like her design and how she ties to vampiric history and thought it was clever but what was her goal again? I feel like it’s another one of those they’re-just-evil cliches but that’s the worst way to write a villain. One of the main (and many) goals is to conquer the sun; which is cliche. Like why? What’s her backstory? Another thing that made me hesitant was that she’s an ( or a representation idk which) of an Egyptian God. Now I can see why some people can be upset about this. Some people out there worship deities and in some beliefs and religions, people can take offence. While I find it to be a different take, I still find it a bit lazy. I feel like Erzebet is portrayed as “ Big bad vampire goddess lady, be scared” but I’m not scared? I get most of the characters are afraid of her but I don’t feel like her presence is THAT impactful and worthy yet. Even Dracula and Carmilla had a better goal s and ones we can sympathise with. We understood what they did and why they did it. I’m afraid I’m just not warming up to her yet. It feels very bland to me and left very confused on her complicated lore.

OTHER NOTES:

I get many people are calling it woke. To be fair, Castlevania has always added religion as an opposing impact. The show tries to set the tone and story as historically accurate as they can, I’ve noticed.

People forget everyone was delusional back then and hyper-religious. Back then religions were taken more seriously and many people suffered more due to paranoia: take witch trials for example. Nocturne DOES stick to some important key elements of what the French Revolution was like back then ( of course the real life one had less vampires) but I do also like that as well.

I appreciate the attempt of twisting history with fiction but they need to be more careful. I still found it lazy and repetitive for a plot. I thought it was far too cliche and washed.

WHAT I WOULD SUGGEST:

If season 2 ever comes, here as my thoughts and things I would like to see:

- A slower storyline:

I get animation is a tedious process with all the story writing, composing, money etc ( I’m also an animation student myself). But I can wait a bit longer for so the series can get to its full glory. Good things come with time and less mistakes will be made.

- More humour:

This is what was missing. True, it does have some humour but the original feels less forced the some of the lines we receive. I would love to see more sarcasm and silly jokes like in the original. They need to have more fun.

- Trevor, Sypha and Alucard:

Now I know these characters are unfortunately long gone but I would like to perhaps see some scenes of the triofacing off against a threat which leads up to this series or just having a laugh for old times same. It would make more sense why Alucard is there, apart from another world threat. There is so much they can do here. Especially since Alucard is going to see a lot of his old friends on Richter. It would be nice for him to tell him more about his ancestors.

- Character improvement:

So, so much more can be done! The pacing hinders the story as a whole and makes the writing looks rushed, sloppy and confusing. Some of the characters were fine and would be fine kept the way there are but Richter definitely needs his times in the spotlight.

I feel like it should take more episodes for him to get his powers back and to fight the f antagonist. The other episodes can be revolved around him and him learning more about his past and on his self discovery; especially since he has ptsd. You can’t build a character on just that - it’s lazy and boring. He needs more wit and more experiences. He already has a weakness but how will he overcome it? Make Olrox tease him more maybe? Maybe throw him into more situations where he get triggers? Some people who suffer with mental illness would like a character to look up to and relate. Making him just have PTSD isn’t great character building at all. I can see where they’re trying to go with the build ups and that but it just isn’t working. Maybe Juste can also help him more? He needs more relevance than just “being there” have some Grandfather and Grandson time and hey maybe get Alucard involved to train him and shape him into the Belmont he’s supposed to be. Obviously he can’t be like Trevor and is his own character but he’s had very little scenes.

- Alucard:

Although it is highly unlikely and as much as I hate to say it but something drastic should happen to Alucard. He’s a very powerful character but why could he need Richter’s help? He literally took down one of the strongest antagonists in seconds when the others were struggling. Hopefully the tables turn and we see Richter save Alucard instead of the other way around.

- Erzebet development:

I feel her character needs a whole rewrite. She needs a better goal other than “conquering the sun” and “feeding”. Like why does she want to do that? Was she betrayed? Turned? Made that way? Or maybe just pure evil. She also needs more impact and scenes of where the characters are effected by her actions. I know she’s based of a real historical figure but making her a goddess or whatever seems very out of the blue. I feel even Drolta is a better written character than the actual villain.

Maybe Erzebet grew up poor herself and is taking advantage of the rich? Maybe she was promised something by someone and taking back what she is owed. Just making her evil isn’t executing enough. Hopefully we get more explanation in future.

- The “Wokeness”:

They can perhaps turn thing down a tad. I feel this series is revolved around god a bit too much and deities we don’t need. Also the Abbot doesn’t make much sense. I’m still confused why he’s doing what he does. I liked the twist with Maria but everything can’t just be “In the name of God”. Need to be a bit more imaginative.

I could go into more depth of what I would add but I could ramble forever. I’ve tried my best to list down the main things I’d do. Other than that I still enjoyed this series and felt S1 as more of an introduction.

————————-

𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚 𝐡𝐮𝐠𝐞 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚 𝐝𝐮𝐦𝐩 𝐚𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐭. 𝐈 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨 𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥.

Other than that, I still tip my hat to everyone’s hard work and hopefully they can get the rest they’ve earned. I would love to see what happens next.

Thank you all for bringing back my beloved series 🖤🖤

#castlevania netflix #castlevania nocturne #Netflix criticism #netflix #animation #castlevania #critical thinking #clive bradley #writing #appriciationpost #review #alucard

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maya-matlin · 6 months

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Ashton, aka the Master of Meta!!! I would love to hear you compare and contrast Brucas and Dair---what you see as their similarities, what you see as their differences, why you personally prefer one over the other etc. And do you think Blair was genuinely in love with Dan? Obviously there's no rush answering!

😭 Okay, you're way too nice to me. I'm really not. I can barely get my point across. But thank you LOL

So first things first, I'm not nearly as familiar with Gossip Girl as I am One Tree Hill. I liked the first two seasons, but my interest waned after that aside from the Dair arc. Most likely, this won't be a satisfying answer, but I'll do my best.

In terms of similarities, the obvious is that aesthetically Lucas/Dan and Brooke/Blair are similar. Both Lucas and Dan are introverted, bookish, aspiring authors. They have notable judgmental streaks and a strong moral compass, initially looking down on the popular crowd/upper east side. Brooke and Blair are very much the unquestioned queen bees of their high schools. Both girls are interested in fashion and end up running a company in that field. Like Brooke with Peyton, Blair has insecurities re: Serena and their past struggle over a boy who cheated on her with her best friend.

However, Lucas and Dan are different because frankly, for all of Dan's complaints about being "lesser", he's still far more privileged than Lucas. The Humphreys never had a bottomless pit of money, but Dan was still able to go to a prestigious private school. Lucas is much more impulsive and hot blooded than Dan. Dan tends to handle conflict by using his words rather than his fists aside from in specific circumstances. Honestly, Brooke and Blair are probably more different than they are similar. Blair started the series romanticizing the idea of sex, wanting to share her first time with Nate at the perfect moment until she impulsively slept with Chuck. By the time we meet Brooke, who was the same age as season 1 Blair, she'd been sexually active for quite some time and wasn't necessarily looking to commit. While adult Brooke seems to have some regrets about being "easy", at the time it didn't seem to be something she was ashamed of. Brooke is naturally a very warm person. She's pretty much always the life of the party. In spite of Blair's extroversion, she comes across as cold, lacking Serena's natural charisma. Maybe it's because the Gossip Girl characters are generally pretty trashy people with an absurd amount of privilege, but Blair is far crueler than Brooke on her worst day.

I feel like Brucas and Dair are again, aesthetically similar. They seem like they'd have more in common than they do. But ultimately, I feel like Brooke and Lucas had an undeniable physical chemistry. The emotional connection came later and needed to be developed whereas it was easy for them to fall into bed shortly after beginning a relationship. Their first relationship mostly consisted of having fun and having sex. While Brooke fell hard for Lucas, he was still preoccupied with the idea of Peyton and didn't appreciate what he had. Dan and Blair were the opposite. They spent multiple seasons tolerating each other for the sake of Serena all the while interestingly having multiple bonding moments prior to becoming best friends. It was only after developing a friendship and discovering an emotional and intellectual connection that a physical connection became possible. I feel like I'm describing this badly, but it's not that I think Dan and Blair were naturally repelled by each other. Dan and Blair rarely took the time to truly see each other outside of their personal relationships with Serena. Blair was everything Dan thought he hated. Dan was supposed to be beneath Blair, the exact opposite of what she was looking for in a partner.

Both couples took a long time to enter a serious relationship. Brooke and Lucas had much more baggage considering Lucas's past with Peyton the first time around, but eventually Lucas convinced Brooke she was the only girl he wanted and that his feelings were genuine. Blair had to basically make multiple mistakes with both Louis and Chuck before realizing she'd fallen for Dan and that he was the one who actually loved her exactly for who she was. Both Dan and Lucas spent time pining for Blair and Brooke, keeping their feelings a secret for a long time for the sake of putting the girls first. But in time, both Lucas and Dan initiated kisses with Brooke and Blair, making their feelings known. Brooke and Blair needed time to process how they were feeling and wanted to move forward. Brooke needed half a season to allow herself to be vulnerable with Lucas again. It took Blair only (I think) two episodes to confess to Dan that he had her heart, not Chuck. And unfortunately, toxicity and horrible former relationships got between both relationships. One major difference is that unlike Lucas with Peyton (though I still maintain Lucas's alleged feelings for Peyton during seasons 2 and 3 weren't demonstrated well at all and mostly seem to be there with hindsight and Skills being used as a mouthpiece for the writers to try to shoehorn in an LP reunion in season 4), I get the impression Dan let go of Serena long before dating Blair. His feelings lingered during season 3 and part of season 4, but once Dan and Blair began to bond it was obvious his heart was with Blair. Apparently, season 5 ended with Dan cheating on Blair with Serena after she lied, saying she picked Chuck over him. Full disclosure, I haven't seen this episode. I have yet to watch season 6. I will eventually, but for now I feel validated for not giving those episodes any ratings. I guess that's sort of comparable to the school shooting kiss, only much more sketchy on Serena's end considering she both manipulated Dan and TAPED IT. There's no version of Chuck for Brooke, thank god. The worst Brooke had to deal with on OTH was irrelevant Felix and the teacher she dated for a couple of episodes. One major difference is that until Julian, Lucas was Brooke's greatest love. Dan was Blair's third or possibly even fourth love. I don't think Blair ever allowed herself to think in terms of Dan being the right guy for her. The toxicity of Chuck and Blair made it so that the relationship she'd shared with him seemed to be the more significant one. It was larger than life with constant ups and downs, with Chuck always whispering in her ear that the alternative, aka a real, healthy, truly loving relationship, would be boring. And because Blair is obviously just as terrible and dark as Chuck is, she couldn't possibly be satisfied with anything else. 🙄 But I digress. So in the end, Blair defaulted back to the familiar rather than the unknown while Dan straight up settled for Serena. Well.. at least out of the four endgames (Lucas/Peyton, Brooke/Julian, Dan/Serena, Blair/Chuck), Brooke's relationship with Julian was healthy.

I think the reason I prefer Brucas over Dair is that I'm much more familiar with their love story and the show as a whole than Gossip Girl or the relationship between Dan and Blair. While I think Penn and Leighton had good chemistry, the Chad/Sophia chemistry was something else. I loved Brucas first. I'm also somewhat a sucker for second chance romances where the guy realizes how badly he'd screwed up in the past and puts in actual effort to win back the girl he loves. LOL I guess it's my toxic trait. There was something so iconic about the Brooke/Lucas relationship. Even when things got messy, I still enjoyed watching it. Dan and Blair were also great, but I have such negative feelings about the show itself and ultimately felt shortchanged by their romantic relationship. What we did get was great, but it didn't last very long. It was truly the Rachel and Joey equivalent of Gossip Girl, and I hate that.

YES. I do think Blair was in love with Dan. I think the love Blair had for Dan was the kind that developed slowly, catching her completely off guard. It was a mature and healthy love based firmly in friendship and mutual support. Dan saw the real, vulnerable Blair rather than just her manipulative, cold, outer shell. Unfortunately, Blair had been conditioned to both think this type of love was all wrong for her, and had been fucked up by years of Chuck's emotional abuse and manipulations. In a version of the show where Gossip Girl had an actual happy ending and allowed its characters to evolve into the best versions of themselves rather than sending the message that they're destined to become their parents, Blair would have stayed with Dan. The story would have followed what it had been setting up since late season 3 (or possibly even before that if you consider their conversation in the fourth episode) through late season 5.

#Anonymous #Long post #Honestly you praise me so much that I'm scared people are going to think I'm sending myself compliments :p

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actuallygoob · 1 year

Note

Hello! What’s the relationship between Elena and the primis/ultimis crew like? And does she have any pet peeves?

Also:

THE ELENA SUPREMACY PHOTO!! 😭😭🥹🥹🫶💗 THE SMILE THATS ON MY FACE RN, tysm for taking the time to make that im sobbing!!! 🥹💗💗💗

Hey there!! Thank you for the awesome Q!

Unfortunately I cant describe her relationship with the Ultimis crew just yet as I havent fully developed her Ultimis counterpart but I can answer the rest! :)

❤️🌹🤍

Elena's relationships with the Primis crew❤️

Tank Dempsey

Elena has the least emotional connection to Dempsey BUT that doesn't mean she doesn't like him or doesn't feel for him

They mostly watch eachothers back because they have too but, they can share some friend'esque moments

She likes his positivity and ability to boost morale even with the situation they're in, shes lwk envious of his optimism

She thinks the little rivlary between him and Richtofen is hilarious

Overall: Allies on the surface of being friends :)

Takeo Masaki

Elena and Takeo have a mutual respect for eachother!

They actually connected a lot after Takeo having to kill his Ultimis counterpart

She appreciates his absolute loyalty and dedication but honestly felt horrible knowing that loyalty was for the wrong person

She actually really wants to learn how to use a katana properly. She thinks its super cool and really wants to ask Takeo to mentor her but doesn't want to add any unnecassary stress and burden so she wants to wait till they have the have the proper time IF they ever do

Takeo and her often meditate when they arent being overthrown by the undead :)

Overall: Good friends! Almost Mentor and Mentee

Nikolai Belinski

Elena and Nikolai actually have a close emotional connection despite it being hard for Elena to make such connections

They're able to relate on loosing a significant other and the trauma that comes with it

They share and comfort eachother in that aspect which brought them close together

Elena didn't really like how much he was putting Richtofen down but she cant blame him for not being able to trust him

They often have a sibling bond being able to share certain interests and be there for eachother whether it be when one just needs to let out some emotion and talk or from a zombie sneaking up on the other, they got eachothers backs

Overall: Brother and Sisterly bond

Edward Richtofen

NOWWWW THESE TWO

Man do they got something going on between em

Elena and Richtofen have a great relationship, it first started as them lwk disliking eachother and ofc not trusting eachother but overtime through their adventure they actually get super close (I can go into detail abt their adventure if you guys want but this post is already getting long!)

Their relationship does start to spill into romantic territory 🤍🩵

They actually do become a thing in the canon story but in the modern au they get married and eventually have a family (WHICH IM GOING TO EVENTUALLY DRAW AHH)

But anywho! Yes! They have such a strong relationship thats heavy on trust

They've had quite similar upbringings so they're able to understand eachother and why they are the way they are, or atleast give some reason why

They're able to lean on eachother and trust eachother fully which both of them rarely had anyone like that in their lives so its really special having this type of relationship between them

Elena loves when Richtofen rambles and talks abt whatever is on his mind whether it be something silly or something hes concerned abt, she loves that hes able to feel comfortable and express himself to her she truly cherishes that

Elena also loves seeing him work and be in his own element, just seeing him be his intelligent self amazes her.

They comfort eachother through everything and anything, they both have different ways of comforting eachother but just them being able to be together is always enough

(I HAVE SO MANY ELENA AND RICHTOFEN HCS BUT AGAIN THIS POST IS ALREADY GETTING SO LONG SO LMK IF YALL WANT MORE)

Overall: Lovebirds kissy kissy they are head over heels for eachother

❤️🌹🩶

Elena Pet Peeves!

People who are chronically late! She hates when people aren't on time

People who mispell her name

FLAKERS! Ppl who cancel plans last minute

People who can't walk straight for their lives (thats me im sorry Elena)

When people take like 20 napkins but only use one but throws all of them away,,, it just,,, it just gets to her

People who make excessive noises when eating like she needs peace shut up

Uhhh stickers on grapes are fucking annoying to her

THOSE ARE THE ONLY ONES I CAN THINK ABT FOR HER BUT MAYBE ILL THINK OF MORE IMNS!

Also sorry if these all suck im kinda horrible at writing 😭😭 I feel like i can convey a story through my art better than my words but please spare me! I hope these are atleast somewhat enjoyable to read!!

#this was such a fun Q!#I will forever love the #Elena supremacy #codz #codz oc #cod zombies #cod zombies oc #edward richtofen #nikolai belinski #takeo masaki #tank dempsey #Elena Bellerose

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aspoonofsugar · 1 year

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I think it would be pretty strange to have Qrow and Jaune be connected to Mercury because so far in the show all his relationships with men that he has are incredibly negative and I do find it interesting it how Mercury who feels like in something else would be portrayed as some sexist jerk being a big part of his character instead here gets along with women pretty well like he even got on with Cinder even if their relationship has soured post v3

Hi anon!

I think I disagree, even if I see where you are coming from...

First of all, the simple truth is... Mercury doesn't have that many relationships... as for now his 3 main bonds are Emerald (positive), Cinder (ambivalent) and Tyrian (negative). So, I would not really talk about a pattern here. This boy just needs friends no matter the gender :''')

Secondly, it is true that a part of Mercury's arc is to overcome a toxic mindset that stems from a negative idea of masculinity: "You must be strong", "You need no crutches", "You shouldn't show your feelings", etc. However, toxic masculinity =/= male characters. Jaune and Qrow are examples of masculinity that have outgrown their toxic traits, so for Mercury to develop bonds with them would be positive.

In any case, my reasoning to headcanon their future involvement in Mercury's arc is mostly structural and thematic. Especially when it comes to Qrow, I have argued why it would fit here and here:

Qrow and Mercury are similar. Both were raised to be assassins and their childhoods keep influencing their respective self-images. Deep down both still believe they are destined for destruction.

Tyrian is the character that in different ways embodies this idea for both, so it makes sense for them to overcome him. However, this victory should not be (only) a physical one. Qrow defeating Tyrian as a way to avenge Clover would not work because it would still be Qrow indulging in destruction. Similarly, Mercury killing Tyrian like he killed Marcus would just be the cycle repeating.

However, for Qrow to save a kid just as unlucky as him would be a way to metaphorically save and heal himself. For Mercury to show vulnerability and accept help would truly mean defeat Tyrian, Marcus and break the cycle of abuse.

Of course, things might go in many different ways, but this theory at least works for both characters’ arcs imo. If Qrow is the one that eventually kills Tyrian I think it should not be about Tyrian himself, but rather to save one of Tyrian’s victims and Mercury just happens to be in the perfect position to be saved.

Finally, when it comes to Cinder and Mercury's relationship, I actually like it very much and think it would be very important for both characters. I know this isn't really the focus of your ask, but in general I think people miss when exactly Mercury and Cinder's bond "weakened". It isn't in volume 4 or 5, but in volume 6. Specifically, it is after Salem's outburts here:

Before this outburst, Mercury is just as emotional as Emerald is at discovering Cinder is alive:

Salem: That's right. I want you to understand that failure. I want you to understand why Cinder must be left to toil in her isolation until she redeems herself. Salem walks away from Emerald. Both her and Mercury look up in surprise. Mercury: You mean-- Emerald: She's alive?

After the outburst, Mercury is quick to rationalize his relationship with Cinder as purely utilitaristic:

Mercury: Yeah, Cinder was a pain, but at least she kept us filled in.

And lacking any emotional attachment:

Mercury: Cinder doesn't care about you! She doesn't care about either of us!

Like, here Mercury is right and is trying to open Emerald's eyes. However, he is also convincing himself and putting some distance from Cinder. Notice how Mercury starts wiht Emerald, but then extends the idea to himself, as well. After all, this is what Salem, aka his new abuser is asking of him:

Salem: It's important not to lose sight of what drives us: Love, justice, reverence… But, the moment you put your desires before my own… they will be lost to you. This isn't a threat. This is simply the truth. The path to your desires is only found… through me.

Salem's message to Emerald (and so Mercury, as well) is clear. They should prioritize Salem's will over Cinder's. And that is what Mercury starts doing here in order to survive. This process keeps going throughout the time skip between volume 6 and 8. Just look how scared he is here:

And in volume 7 he is hardened himself so much, he barely shows any reaction to Cinder's return. This isn't because he doesn't care or their bond is gone though. It is a very specific reaction to abuse that makes Mercury repress his feelings and always act through a pragmatic frame, which is ironically much more obtuse than if he were just to follow his heart :''')

Anyway, I digressed a little bit, but the point is... I think Mercury's arc is about overcoming toxic masculinity, which is precisely why a bond with a positive male mentor figure may help. Not the only option, but not one I would discard just because...

Have a nice day!

#rwby #mercury black #asksfullfosugar #anonymous

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joshuaalbert · 2 years

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troi <3 <3 <3

ok I feel like you may not like some of these answers but. blame the writers ok

favorite thing about them

troi is a character I like the potential of more than I like the execution. like. the setup for her character is so interesting! obviously one of the most famously compelling things about spock is that he’s half human half vulcan, and although betazoid and human values/culture are not necessarily at odds with each other to the same degree and she doesnt need to have the same type of conflict to be compelling, any character that is biracial in this sense should have a really unique perspective on things. her empathic abilities have the potential to be both extremely useful and also a really significant burden and there’s a lot of potential for examination in terms of keeping that balance. she’s effectively the humanities major on a ship full of STEM majors, so that’s another unique viewpoint bc goddamn sometimes they cannot explain Anything in words, and she has the most engagement with the crew as a whole, rather than just her division or the senior officers. there are a lot of cool and different things to work with here! boy howdy I sure hope they work with them!

I also like that she has the most interesting and complex relationship with her mother of any character in the series! there’s nothing inherently Wrong with exploring children and their fathers, but quite often we don’t get the other side of that, so I think that’s neat. there’s not really an ominous twist on this like there was in the last paragraph I just think it’s neat.

also this is a minor thing but I think it’s funny that her entire job is to be emotionally supportive but she does sometimes make jokes at inappropriate moments when talking to someone asking for her help with something. objectively terrible behavior for a therapist but very funny as a character moment.

so. all that said.

least favorite thing about them

well that would be the wasted potential. despite her being so potentially fascinating as a character, for most of the show it feels like she’s just there to be hot and say “i sense…” and i mean she does great on both counts but that doesn’t make a fulfilled character. literally the single most interesting scene about the fact that she was half human half betazoid was cut from 3x5 the bonding and it makes me want to commit vehicular manslaughter. who wrote this and why didn’t they write the rest of the show. she uses her abilities and sometimes makes references to betazed, but to the best of my recollection, that’s largely it, and while I think there’s significant value in having a character who has learned to balance both aspects of themselves, it more often comes off as “no one really put any effort into this so she acts mostly human but she can feel stuff” imo.

I can only remember a couple times off the top of my head that her empathic abilities were used in a truly interesting way, and of the times that the downsides are explored, a lot of those episodes are. idk they somehow seem to always stop short of being really good character episodes somehow. 4x10 the loss is probably the closest but even then I wouldn’t necessarily say it’s…standout? (in its defense it does come right after final mission, an episode i was being really normal about, so I should probably rewatch it). also there was a proposed edit to the naked now script that would have dealt with the potentially overwhelming nature of feeling everyone on the ship’s emotions and I’m really mad that they didn’t do that rather than like. I don’t even know what she did in that episode?

so many of her focus episodes are about her and some guy and like obviously I’m not being like oh a strong female character can never have a plotline where she’s into a man that’d be a fucking stupid take but it feels both disproportionate and detrimental to her individual character development. she doesn’t get any kind of fun and interesting hobby/interest until 6x8 fistful of datas where it turns out she’s actually super into westerns! her father used to read her stories about the old west and she always wanted to be the Mysterious Stranger!! that’s so fun!! why did it take us until season 6 to get to something like this!!! her best episodes are in seasons 6 and 7 when she gets involved in cool plotlines and wants to advance her career but not until the last two seasons and I can’t keep going like this or I will start Screaming. I feel insane. you understand my point. they do not utilize a potentially incredibly complex character to her full potential and I feel insane.

brOTP

I respect people who live that deanna/beverly life but generally speaking I like them most as friends. that said I will make an exception for the episode where they’re doing aerobics together in gay little complementary outfits.

OTP

I am a troi/riker heaux. no creativity here. such is life. I like that even when they’re kind of on again off again it’s generally not in a forced angsty drama way it’s just like ok this is what we’re doing today and regardless of where we stand we are friends first and foremost. also I think some of her most fun moments are when they are being Bitches together or she is heckling his musical skills.

nOTP

okay I am going to put this in as spoiler free terms as possible but. in season 7 they introduce a relationship that I don’t entirely hate on its own merits and that I think could have some interesting facets to explore but I think it’s a HORRIBLE misstep from a writing perspective. admittedly I had knowledge of the films and knew what the ultimate outcome was going to be, but I think even if I hadn’t, I would’ve known it wasn’t going to be endgame, and it feels like the time spent on it in the back half of the last season of the show could’ve been spent way better elsewhere. it also completely fucks over her chances for an actual interesting examination of her character in the finale, because why stop letting her be defined by men even at the very end?

random headcanon

I feel like she should listen to like. metal sometimes. or like a betazoid equivalent. because like! I think it would be A Lot to have so many people’s thoughts and emotions at the edge of your consciousness all the time even if you’ve generally figured out how to filter it!! I think sometimes you’d need a way to try to drown it out!! and like yeah she’s not Hearing Their Thoughts it’s a different sense so it’s not literally drowning it out but I still think having another really strong sensory input would help yknow?

unpopular opinion

honestly I don’t even know what the popular opinions about troi are. I’m just here.

song i associate with them

I think what we’ve learned from these ask games is that I have associated songs for literally 2 characters

favorite picture of them

uniform troi!! uniform troi I love her. idk why they were like oh people will not know she is Beautiful Woman if she’s in uniform so we cannot do that until like season 6. look at her.

#I have never articulated anything clearly in my life I’m in a state of despair but hopefully this means something #troi #tng #ask game

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misschifuyu · 3 years

Text

General relationship headcanons with Inui and Hakkai

requested

characters: inui seishu + hakkai shiba

genre: fluff

warnings: none

Inui

inui is someone who is very careful when it comes to expressing his feelings. he much prefers to keep a neutral stance whenever speaking to those he cares most about, simply because it helps him not develop too strong of a bond with the other person. he's afraid to follow the path of koko, so he's especially careful when it comes to love

so it came as quite the shock when you came into his life. no doubt, he found you attractive at first glance, but even after just a few words exchanged here and there, he had started to wonder - and, frankly, worry - why he wanted to continue listening to you, to get to know you better

as he started to connect the dots, he quickly recalled just how his friend would act with his sister. and it frightened him.

he was falling and he had nothing to grab onto, to stop himself from sinking into the one emotion he had been running away from - love

when you confessed, since he most definitely not put himself in that situation seeing as he was trying to control his growing affection towards you, he would be left absolutely stunned. of course, he reciprocated your words, but it would take him a few minutes to explain to you that he was scared of a relationship

but, don't worry. you understood him, and were willing to take things as slow as he needed. after all, there was no need to rush into everything all at once

give him a few weeks, let's say two. during this time, he would visit you much more often, hold your hand when he knew no prying eyes were around and, all around, start warming up to you. of course, he knew you well enough by that point, but it still took him a little to get used to the whole relationship status

he will, undoubtedly, come to koko whenever he had any doubts. he wants to improve himself for you, trying his best to become the partner you deserve. his friend may be not always be of the best help, but anything was better than nothing

once he has fallen into a comfortable state around you, you will quickly notice what he had been deprived of all these years. he turns into a very affection person whenever he's around you, mostly when you're either at his house or yours. expect to be followed around quietly by this softie

hugs from behind are his personal favourite. feeling you so close to him, your arms holding onto his as he bring you into his chest and rests his head on yours. it's very comforting for him, so expect him to do so quite often. he may be silent as he does so, but the way his heartbeat will slow down will be enough to tell you that he feels safe with you

play with his hair whenever the two of you are cuddling, trust me. your fingers running through his soft locks will be enough to send him off into a good, hour-long nap, no questions ask. he's a pretty deep sleeper, so you can tie his hair up into a bun. he will be oblivious to it all until he walks past a mirror upon waking up, groggy eyes fixating on the little mass of hair on the top of his head

one thing that will truly make his heart flutter is whenever you pepper his face with kisses. although he may not mention it, he's a little insecure about his scar. but this will quickly change when you tell him how all his features are absolutely beautiful, placing little, butterfly kisses on his soft skin as he lays on your lap, facing you from below

you truly are his source of comfort, of love. he won't brag about you, but by the way his lips would turn up into a smile when he knows he'll see you after a meeting is more than enough to let the other members of the gang know just how much he loves you

a closeted lover boy, let's say

he will, on occasions, turn up at your house during the late hours of the evening with a a flower or two he picked up on his way to your place, or even a box of your favourite snacks. anything that reminds him of you, really. and if you gift him something, you best believe he will treasure it as though his life depended on it

one thing that you hadn't expected from him was his liking towards taking pictures. he's always been fond of snapping pictures of sceneries here and there, and he just so happens to have one of these polaroid cameras

your wall - and his, for that matter - will be filled with selfies, random pictures of him you'd take and some of yourself that he'd keep on his bedside table. he deemed it a way to remind him of how much the two of you have been through and the importance you held in his life

of course, his phone wallpaper is a picture of the two of you when you went to a summer fair, where he most definitely didn't spend the best part of half his change on trying to win you a prize that had caught your eye

afterwards, you had insisted on trying to win him something too; however, he had assured you that there was no need, he was more than content with seeing you get a prize instead

inui will be very cautious when it comes to your involvement with anything related to the gang. if you happen to be also member, he will stick by your side just as much as he does with koko, and will not hesitate to throw himself into a dangerous situation if you were ever at a disadvantage

he's a little reckless when it comes to this. he acts without thinking when it comes to your safety, so more often than not, others will have to get involved if things get ugly. he may not look like much of a threat, but he will completely change his demeanour whenever those he loved were involved

he just can't afford to lose another person again. having found someone he could fully trust in, and show love to, he isn't about to let some punk take it all away from him. so he will put his own life on the line

but it's mutual, between the two of you. undoubtedly made for each other, it would take some doing from the enemy to actually knock one of you out. truly a couple that any gangster would wish for, that is an indisputable fact

Hakkai

the baby of the shibas. he may act all tough and strong when with toman, but it's a given fact that he has a very soft, vulnerable side. it's really what comes with such a conflictive childhood; but he will constantly try to put all of that behind him, building himself up to stand up to those who looked down upon him

this strategy of his, however, won't be very effective when he was introduced to you. a close friend of mitsuya's, he had thought the two of you might get along quite well. right off the bat, hakkai had to take a few seconds before actually coming to the decision of what to say to you upon first seeing you

he couldn't exactly tell you how attractive you were on the first day, now could he?

as the two of you would get to know you better - fulfilling mitsuya's expectations - he would start to notice that he looked forward to seeing you each time there was a meeting. this would lead to a timid suggestion of hanging out either before or after the next meeting, receiving a content response from your behalf

his crush will go anything but unnoticed by his sister. yuzuha will quickly notice how he would come home a little quiet, lost in his thoughts although not in a gloomy state. he actually seemed to be a little happier now

she would be the one to push him to confess to you, after having heard his considerably long rant about you that he accidentally came out with whilst he was talking to her. she was over the moon to hear that her little brother was finally crushing on someone, and would walk him through all the key points to not scare you off or come off as weird when he told you about his feelings

luckily enough, her strategies proved to be successful, and before he could even register it in his mind, hakkai had achieved a relationship with the one that had been flooding his thoughts for a good few months now

although he may not be entirely experienced in the whole dating area, he will be anything but shy when trying his best to be the perfect boyfriend. he may not show much pda, mainly because he still tries to upkeep his strong persona even around you, but his lingering will not go unnoticed by the other members. wherever you were, hakkai was never too behind

he just loves being around you, to be able to call you his partner. you're like a little - since this guy is ridiculously tall - beam of light that he wished he could keep by his side at all times. behind closed doors he will be much more affectionate, to the point you would actually wonder if this was the same person you would attend toman meetings with

being the soft giant he is, he absolutely loves engulfing you in his arms. spooning you, hugs from behind, laying you on his chest, you name it. he can be awfully cheesy at times, too, so expect to be showered with the most sappy comments ever. you're convinced he keeps a list of them.

"you wanna know what's the best thing in my life? it's the first word of this sentence"

"hakkai...you realise that just works better written down, right?"

definitely an avid enthusiast of making you think over why you were with him in the first place. of course, you loved him and everything that came with the youngest shiba, but sometimes you truly wondered where he got his personality from

speaking of family, meeting his siblings will be an experience in itself, to say the least. yuzuha will be ever so welcoming when you first went over to their house, offering you food and sitting you down to get to know you better. she knew you were a perfect match for her brother, and she's delighted to have you as a sister-in-law

now...taiju may be a little different. just by appearance, he's quite intimidating. you did know about him, but you had never actually spoken to him in the entirety of your life. hakkai will stand nearby when you eventually meet him, just in case something got out of hand.

however, surprisingly enough, the eldest sibling gave you a friendly pat on your shoulder, thanking you for finally giving his brother a chance at a relationship. the way it came off sounded like he believed hakkai to be almost unlovable, but you supposed it was pretty good coming from such a scary individual

needless to say, your boyfriend had a few things to murmur about when his brother left. you reassure him that it was alright, though. truthfully, you had expected it to go another way even

dates with hakkai will be quite an often occurrence. apart from his duties in toman, he doesn't have much to do. he attends online school, so as soon as he slaps his laptop closed, he's usually on his way over to your house. he will always take you out on a ride on his motorbike, around the busy city filled with people and commotion

you want to go out for lunch? he knows the best places. want to go shopping? the guy brought his wallet for a reason. he's such a sucker for you that he will drive across the city for even the smallest thing for you, he didn't mind. if it meant he could see that smile of yours, he's absolutely willing to do anything

he's also a perfect shopping partner. he hangs out with mitsuya a lot, so he's picked up on some knowledge on fashion and is more than happy to help you pick out outfits. he will always offer to carry your bags, too. truly the perfect boyfriend, wouldn't you agree?

just be sure to shower him in love and kisses once you get back home. he will happily receive each and every one with a wide smile, lifting you up into his arms as he tells you, once more, how much he loves you

some may say the two of you are too soft and sappy for a couple involved in the gangster world, but neither of you could care less. not everyone could say they fought alongside their partner that they would, afterwards, spend quality time with, no matter how bruised up you were

you always had a laugh after a fight with other gangs; both of you would always mock the rivals, saying how they never really stood a chance in the first place

the two of you are like a pair of old women when it came to judging people neither of you liked; if anyone happened to listen in, they would automatically think you were simply best friends by the way you would speak

needless to say, hakkai will be both an amazing boyfriend as much as a friend, and you can always count on him if you're ever in need of a mood booster, because he will rush over to your place as fast as he can

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers Inui #inui seishu #inui x reader #tokyo revengers hakkai #hakkai shiba #hakkai x reader #fluff #tokyo revengers scenarios

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byunmyeon · 3 years

Text

Metanoia

↳ pairing: lee suho x reader

↳ synopsis: this is the sequel to philophobia. the world of red strings is one you haven’t been able to see for a long time, and now that you’ve found your unwilling soulmate, you have no interest in regaining that sight.

↳ warnings: language, angst, angst, and more angst, mentions of depression, mentions of death

— note: due to popular demand, here’s part two!

Something was wrong.

There wasn’t some pivotal event or action that made Suho conscious of the shift, he just knew. This premonition could’ve been assessed as an erroneous inkling that emanated from the vast rift between you two, but you hadn’t given any indication that the lack of recognition from your soulmate was the cause. In fact, you seemed perfectly content with disregarding Suho’s existence.

An entire month had gone by since you confronted him, and the entire situation had passed without further incident. Neither one of you had spoken since that ill-fated day.

However, it was impossible not to notice the drastic change in your character. The way you smiled was different in a way that seemed off, and there was also a certain enervation constantly embracing you. But the biggest difference was your lack of interest in just about anything. Suho might’ve thought it had everything to do with him, but again, there was no clear indication of that.

Nonetheless, ignoring you didn’t make him unaware of the unnamed sensation that had latched itself onto him since then.

It’s not like Suho wanted to notice the contrast in your behavior, but it was something he couldn’t help. Every time you came within a ten meter radius, his eyes would compulsively find their way over to you. Suho was always careful to not get caught staring, although it hardly mattered. It’s not like you looked in his general direction anymore. And even when you did happen to meet his gaze, it was for a fleeting moment that passed by so quickly that it couldn’t even be considered a full second.

Your uncharacteristic disposition made him worry. Not for you, but for him. Suho was deeply concerned that you might expose your shared secret in an abrupt moment of anger and hurt. That’s all it was. Nothing more, nothing less.

To his relief, that moment never came.

Even in the face of all the hurtful things he had said and done, you didn’t mention to Jugyeong that Suho was your soulmate. It was a development he hadn’t expected. Sure, you had told him, no, promised him that you would keep silent about the string that bounded you two together, but he was convinced that you could easily change your mind whenever you felt like it. You hadn’t.

Truthfully, your selfless act made him develop a fondness for you. Suho hadn’t expected you to be so understanding and considerate since it seemed like you were genuinely hurt that he didn’t care to acknowledge the bond between you two. That was the part he still couldn’t wrap his head around. You ignored the red string that tied you two together since the day you transferred without any qualm. Your actions convinced him that you wanted nothing to do with the soulmate bond, with him.

“What’s up with Y/N?” Taehoon wondered one day as he set his lunch tray beside Suho’s. “She isn’t looking so good these days.”

The rest of the group agreed.

“Maybe we did something to upset her.” Jugyeong said with a worried frown. Her pretty eyes drifted over to the lonely girl who was currently picking at her food. “She hasn’t wanted to hang out with us since we finished our exams.”

Suho let his own gaze fall over to you. It was true that you had kept your distance since before he officially asked Jugyeong out, but he didn’t think his girlfriend would care too much since you two weren’t that close to begin with. Seeing her so upset didn’t sit well with him.

Maybe he could convince you to start hanging out with Jugyeong and the rest of the group more often. Yes, that’s exactly what he would do. After all, doing him one more favor wouldn’t kill you.

Most people would say that you made a mistake for letting Suho go. Among those people would be your very own mother. You didn’t even want to think about what would happen if she came to find out that you gave up your soulmate without putting up a fight. It wasn’t something you were necessarily proud of, but you weren’t ashamed of your decision. Okay, so maybe refusing to acknowledge your other half wasn’t right or even sane, but you felt comfortable with your decision.

Well, that wasn’t exactly right.

The reality of your soulmate easily ignoring the string he could see was heart-wrenching. More often than not, seeing him and Jugyeong together would cause a stabbing pain in your chest. It would last no more than a second, but it was agonizing enough to have you regretting your righteous choice.

As time when on, the pain worsened and would prolong itself to the point where it became difficult to breathe. There were even instances where black dots would cloud your vision and had you feeling extremely lightheaded. Those times, however, were nothing compared to the occasions when you came close to fainting. Deep down you knew it was because there was a severe imbalance weaved in the depths of your bond.

But you couldn’t be bothered to truly acknowledge it.

Who needed a soulmate anyway?

There had always been an indescribable tension when you were around Suho. Before, you had wrote it off as nerves from being around someone who was as prickly as he was attractive. That was before you knew the truth, of course. You two had never been close, and after finding out that he was the one on the other end of your red string, you were sure you never would be.

Which is exactly why you couldn’t figure out the reason he suddenly came up to you while you were sitting outside on one of the lone benches. He didn’t hesitate to sit next to you, the action coming naturally like it was something he did everyday.

“Jugyeong says you haven’t hung out with her in a while.” Suho said in a slow drawl. “Is it because of me?”

You wished you could’ve scoffed and told him that the world didn’t revolve around him, but you couldn’t. Because even if the world didn’t, yours did.

“I haven’t been feeling well lately.”

It was the truth. Your chest pains were only getting worse as the days went on. It was hard enough to hide it from your mother, you didn’t need the pressure of also hiding it from your classmates.

Suho didn’t seem the least bit concerned for your not-so-well-being, and it had a familiar ache nipping at your heart. You longed to see his face change with even the tiniest bit of emotion. Just so you could feel, even for a fleeting moment, that the bond wasn’t one-sided. After seeing the indifference he looked at you with, you decided to look straight ahead to spare yourself any further heartache.

“Being alone won’t make you feel any better.”

It couldn’t make you feel any worse.

Suho frowned when he saw your unchanging expression. He could never get used to the blank nothingness of it. Not when your joyful expressions had once lit up an entire room.

“I thought you’d be happy that I’m staying away from Jugyeong.” You finally said, still unwilling to look at him.

It made him happier than he cared to admit, but it didn’t make her happy. The entire point of talking to you was to bring Jugyeong the same amount of happiness she’d brought him. If it meant having to swallow his pride and ask you for yet another favor, then so be it.

“She thinks she did something to upset you.” Suho explained. “So I came to ask you to start talking to her again—as a favor.”

His impassive attitude made you feel crestfallen. You knew he couldn’t care less about the bond, about you, but it still hurt to see that he didn’t care to spare your feelings at all. It took everything in you to respond in a strong, calm tone.

“And you’re okay with me talking to her again?”

“I’m fine as long as you stick to our agreement.”

You nodded slowly, pensively. If it would make Suho happy, then you would do it.

“Okay.”

That was his cue to leave, but he found himself unwilling to do so. Immediately, Suho assumed it was because your souls were intertwined with one another which, in turn, fueled the natural instinct to be close to you. That had to be it.

Suho cleared his throat and stood up. “I’ll see you around.”

Sitting across a psychiatrist was something you never thought you would have to do again. And yet, you found yourself sitting across from the infamous Dr. Kwon. The aforementioned doctor was known worldwide for his trailblazing research on the enigmatic soulmate bond. His fame soared when he revealed that he had successfully treated people who were rejected by their soulmates. For an entire year, it was all anyone could talk about.

And like a moth to a flame, your mother was quick to reach out to his office and make an appointment for a consultation. There was a five month waiting list for this, and now it was finally your turn to meet with the prestigious psychiatrist, much to your dismay.

“There’s no need to feel nervous,” he said kindly when he noticed your uncomfortable posture. “Anything you tell me will stay between the two of us.”

You had heard the same thing countless times, but the words always seemed disingenuous no matter who they came from. Even if Dr. Kwon had treated people who had soulmate problems, you were sure that he’d never met someone like you. His eyes were kind, but you didn’t know whether you could trust him. Plenty of the other specialists had also been kind at first until they realized that treating you like a lab rat would lead to a life of fame and fortune.

“Your mother tells me that you were unofficially diagnosed with philophobia. She believes the cause of your condition is due to the fact that you are unable to see your string of fate.”

You weren’t surprised that your mom had told him everything about you already. She had made the same mistake with all the other doctors and therapists. You could deny it, but you figured if you were to become a lab rat, you couldn’t be in better hands.

“She also mentioned that you haven’t been yourself lately.”

Shit. You hadn’t thought that your mom had caught onto your behavior. The simple thought of her finding out the secret you were desperately trying to keep hidden made your stomach twist with panic.

Your shrug was uncommitted as you fought to control your expression. “She’s thought that since I told her I couldn’t see my string anymore.”

Dr. Kwon hummed. “Your mother is convinced that a severe trauma led you to lose the sight of your string. Would you mind telling me about that?”

You clutched the sleeves of your uniform as a way of comfort. Talking about that was something you never wanted to do. Somehow, spending an entire year repeating the story to countless specialists never helped you get over it. Despite that, you knew your mother wouldn’t forgive you if you didn’t make the effort to “get better.”

“Around the time I turned eleven, I found out that my parents were getting a divorce.” You began. There was a harsh edge to your words that you couldn’t control. “They were soulmates, but my dad said that he didn’t love my mom anymore.”

Dr. Kwon nodded, encouraging you to go on.

“This one day, he decided to drive me to school instead of letting me take the bus. On the way there he told me about this woman he’d met like I’d actually be happy for him or something. I got so angry that I just– I just snapped.”

It was silent for a moment before you continued.

“I told him that I hated him. That I would never forgive him for hurting my mom.” You swallowed thickly. “That was the last thing I said to him before we got into a car accident. He died on the way to the hospital.”

You didn’t realize that the moisture in your eyes was dripping down your face until Dr. Kwon handed you a tissue. He didn’t say anything for a while, and it surprised you. Most of the specialists you had seen couldn’t keep their thoughts to themselves after hearing your story.

“It’s not your fault.” Dr. Kwon said. “You feel an extreme guilt, but you shouldn’t. We all say things we don’t mean, and parents know that better than anyone.”

His words were comforting, but his kind expression was marred when he started speaking like a doctor. You only half-listened to Dr. Kwon, not interested in his spiel about how making an attempt to picture your string might help. If only he knew that over the better part of your early adolescence, visualizing that stupid red string was all you did.

You hadn’t realized that your time with him was nearly over until he started writing on his clipboard. It made you feel relieved, in a way. But there was still one thing you needed. You couldn’t leave without asking him about the one thing that had been weighing on your mind.

“Doctor,” your voice was hesitant. “You’ve treated patients whose soulmates rejected the bond, right?”

“That’s right.”

“Has… Has anyone ever died from being rejected?”

Dr. Kwon shook his head. “Most of them complained about chronic chest pains, but they faded over time after they got used to being away from their soulmate.”

You swallowed thickly. That’s not what you were hoping to hear.

“So, if someone were to constantly be around the person who rejected them… it could be fatal?”

This time, you caught the subtle narrowing of his eyes. Shit. He was onto you. “Is there a reason you’re asking me this?”

“I’m just curious. You’re the only doctor who’s come close to figuring out the real effects of rejecting the bond.”

He didn’t seem convinced, but answered you anyway. “It’s possible, but I can’t be certain since I haven’t had a patient who was willing to be around their soulmate after being rejected.”

You nodded, not liking the ugly feeling in your chest.

“I’m willing to keep working with you.” He said, seemingly not interested in the motives behind your questions. “Hopefully, we can reverse your condition.”

“I have no intention of seeing the string again.”

Dr. Kwon was taken aback. “Y-You don’t? Why?”

Because I already found my soulmate and he loves someone else. The truth was on the tip of your tongue, but you knew you couldn’t tell him.

“I just don’t.”

The first time you went an entire day without experiencing the chest pains was the same day you spent an entire lunch period with Suho.

Since the back of the school was now tainted with horrible memories, you could no longer go back there to find solace. Now your new designated safe space was the school’s rooftop. You were content with listening to music and feeling the warm breeze on your skin. It was also extremely private, which meant that if you did experience the chest pains, no one would see.

Your eyes were closed in blissful peace when you suddenly felt a presence beside you. Unaccustomed to the sudden company, you jumped with shocked fear. Once you saw that it was Suho who was sitting next to you, your heart was racing for an entirely different reason. He hadn’t said much. Unexpectedly, he asked you what you were listening to.

That’s how you found out you shared the same taste in music.

The second time you went an entire day without feeling the chest pains was the day you stumbled on a crying Suho.

He was completely overcome with grief that he didn’t seem to care that he was in the middle of the hallway. You quietly took him to the roof where he collapsed on you. The way he clutched onto you reminded you of an inconsolable child—fearful and in need of comfort. You listened to him as he told you about his late friend and his battle with depression.

Your heart ached with every word he told you, but if countless hours of therapy had taught you anything it was that venting could do wonders for the soul. Eventually, his sobs turned into sniffles. He hadn’t let go of you and vice versa.

After that, Suho didn’t say anything and neither did you. Unbeknownst to the either of you, the connection between you two had gotten stronger. There was an inexplicable congruity between you now, one that allowed you to understand and empathize with each other’s feelings.

You two never mentioned it again, but something shifted after that day.

It had been a month since you last felt the scathing pain. Now it was only a tolerable discomfort that you grew used to. You and Suho weren’t close, he still had his girlfriend, but now there were these moments that you experienced every so often. Ones that seemed more intimate than any relationship you could ever have. Those times were the happiest you’d felt in years.

“Things are pretty serious between Suho and Jugyeong.” Soo-ah said when you two entered the lunch room. “He wants her to study abroad with him after graduation.”

This was news to you, and that familiar discomfort soon settled on the left side of your chest. In spite of knowing that nothing had changed, you still felt like a complete fool. How could you be so delusional? Suho had only been kind to you a handful of times, and you were sure it had only been out of pure instinct. It had been because the link between you two had pushed him to do it.

Suddenly, the discomfort grew into that familiar, unwelcome stabbing pain, one greater than all the others you had felt so far. You let out a loud cry, the high-pitched noise sounding horrifying even to your own ears. The dizziness never came this quickly, but now it was clouding your senses within seconds. It had you stumbling into Soo-ah, and you grabbed ahold of her sleeve to try to steady yourself. You could see her mouth moving, but her words were muted. Oh no.

The pounding in your head and the sharp pains in your chest came in waves. It didn’t take long for the dark spots to appear. Fuck.

The last thing you remembered was seeing Soo-ah and a gathering crowd above you before darkness overcame you.

“Y/N.”

The distant sound of your name being called was enough to have you slowly opening your eyes. Your vision was blurry and unfocused. All you could make out was being in a brightly lit place that had you wincing. Where were you?

In the next second, you felt a pair of arms wrap around you. The familiar scent of your mom’s perfume made you relax.

“How are you feeling?”

It was a man’s voice who asked the question, and you nearly choked on your own spit when you saw Dr. Kwon standing beside the hospital bed. His presence shocked you since you had only met him once and weren’t officially his patient. However, you managed to assure him that you felt fine.

For a second, you thought everything would be fine. After all, there was no technology that was capable of determining that your collapse was related to your fractured soulmate bond. That is, until Dr. Kwon decided to speak up.

“You’ve met your soulmate, haven’t you?”

It wasn’t really a question. Your panicked eyes fell over to your mom. The look she gave you had you wincing. Fuck.

“What!? Y/N—”

“Mom,” you said, panicked. “It’s not– I don’t—”

“I’ve spoken with the doctor who treated you. She said that there’s been an enormous strain on your heart.” His voice had an underlying hardness that tipped you off on the anger he was feeling. “That’s why you asked me about my patients the other day, isn’t it?”

You remained silent, and it gave him his answer.

“You know who your soulmate is. They rejected the bond, but you haven’t. That’s why your chest pains have gotten worse.”

Before you could try to refute any of his claims, your mother went crazy.

“Who is it!?” She yelled. “Tell me right now so I can tell him to stop hurting my daughter!”

You attempted to calm her down, but your attempt was in vain. There was no possible way to settle her emotions. Not when her worst fear had been realized. You tried to ease her mind by reassuring her that you would go away in order to receive treatment from Dr. Kwon, not realizing that Suho was standing outside the room and heard everything.

Dr. Kwon managed to calm your mother down and convinced her to take a walk with him. It was late in the evening now, and you felt extremely relieved to finally be left alone with your thoughts. You got all of two seconds of contemplation because in the next second, Suho pulled the door open and walked into your room.

He didn’t say anything at first, but his face was the picture of tortured. You furrowed your eyebrows, unable to understand why he seemed so distraught.

“You’re dying.” Suho’s voice trembled. “Because of me.”

The fact that he somehow found out went over your head. You wished you could say no. No it’s not because of you. But you couldn’t. Trying to reassure him would’ve been futile. He knew. You both did. The urge to cling onto the severed bond would be fatal if you didn’t get help. Despite knowing all that, you wished to ease his pain. You could’ve laughed at your own foolishness because right now it was you who was laying in the hospital bed.

“I won’t die.” You told him feebly. “I’ll leave. Once I get used to being away from you, I’ll be okay. We can both live normal lives.”

Suho wanted to tell you that he didn’t want you to leave. That his life hadn’t ever been normal, and he was fine with that as long as you could be part of it.

“You didn’t reject the bond. Why?”

You looked up at the white ceiling. The tears were pooling in your eyes, but you refused to let them fall. There was no point in hiding it anymore. Not when you were hospitalized because of him.

“I can’t see my string.”

Your confession hung in the air like a dark cloud. It was silent before you decided to continue with your revelation.

“I haven’t been able to see it since I was thirteen.” You tried to swallow the lump in your throat. “That’s why I didn’t acknowledge you when we first saw each other. I didn’t know.”

The candor of your words had Suho staggering back. It felt like someone shoved a blade straight through his heart. Finally, everything made sense. It’s not that you weren’t interested in your soulmate, it’s that you hadn’t known he was right in front of you. He couldn’t stop the tears from gathering in his eyes. What had he done?

“I’ve always wanted to meet my soulmate.” You confessed, feeling a bit embarrassed. “Even after I found out that it was you and you didn’t feel the same way, I never wished that I hadn’t met you. I never wished that the bond didn’t exist.”

You knew he couldn’t say the same since the evidence of just how much he didn’t want the bond was displayed in your current physical state.

“You should leave,” you told him even though the words pained you greatly. “My mom will get suspicious if she sees you.”

Only a small piece of your heart broke when he listened to you.

When Jugyeong and Suho broke up, it was the talk of the entire school. You yourself couldn’t make sense of the sudden separation, but you told yourself that it didn’t matter because it wasn’t any of your business.

You only said goodbye to a handful of people when the last day at Saebom High came around. Your short stay at the school didn’t give you an opportunity to make many friends, and it’s not like you truly wanted to remember your experience at the school.

Before you could walk through the front gates toward your new life, you were stopped by the sound of your name being called.

“Y/N!”

You turned, feeling your eyes widen when you were suddenly wrapped up in your soulmate’s warm embrace. His sudden change in attitude shocked you so much that you weren’t sure how to react.

“Don’t leave me. Please.”

For the first time since you’d met Suho, you felt no need to placate him. After everything that happened, you couldn’t go back on the promise you made to your mother. You needed to get better. Not for Suho, but for yourself.

“I’m sorry.” You were sincere. “This time, I’m leaving you behind.”

He pulled back. The pain in his eyes was another strike to your chest, but you knew you couldn’t give in.

“Goodbye, Lee Suho.”

#lee suho x reader #true beauty fanfic #suho x reader #true beauty imagine #lee suho imagine #cha eunwoo #true beauty tvn #astro #astro imagines #astro fanfic #cha eunwoo imagine #cha eunwoo x reader #true beauty

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makeste · 3 years

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some meta about Izuku, Katsuki, and trust

and choosing to trust is the real bridge that goes to accepting that person as a part of your live again and what the offender has to earn. I think the interesting aspect of Deku and Bakugou's relationship is that Deku has always trusted Bakugou, and I would say more than he had forgiven him at the start of the story (where he does show more frustration and resentment towards Bakugou's behaviour and see him as a jerk) but despite that he can always trust Bakugou to him himself, attested to

the fact that Deku feels very confident about how Bakugou will act or what Bakugou's true motives are and probably the reason why he always sees Bakugou as a hero despite his hurtful behaviour is because Deku 100% trusts Bakugou even if he's doing something disagreeable or that will hurt him. Knowing someone and trusting is not exactly the same and I see it as trust because of Deku willingness to be co-operative. On Bakugou's side he is mistrustful of Deku and thats where the communication

breaks down and there has been plenty of meta exploring why Bakugou has deep rooted problems around Deku and his journey is him taking accountability of that and changing to be a better person. While understanding and miscommunication get their fair due I think trust and mistrust are the true bedrocks of the bkdk river bed because that allows for how they can still be so connected despite the miscommunication (with Bakugou mistrust is mixed with some trust) because of knowing.

anon I really enjoyed this, thank you for sharing your thoughts! I concur with just about all of this, and this ask got me thinking a lot about the nature of trust, and how it applies to Izuku and Katsuki’s relationship.

I think a lot of people’s reactions to reading the sentence “Bakugou and Deku have always trusted each other” would pretty much be, “???” and “lol what.” like, yeah, sure. they trusted each other so much that Bakugou decided that throwing a tantrum for ten years would be an appropriate reaction to Deku trying to hold his hand. classic Trust, right there!!

lol but I honestly think this is true, though. it’s just that there are different... levels?? types?? of trust. let’s go with types. there are different types of trust, and what makes Izuku and Katsuki’s relationship so interesting to me is that it’s kind of the opposite of what these fictional rival-type relationships usually are. it’s basically the difference between knowing, and understanding.

okay so first of all let’s back up here to make sure we’re all on the same page. we’re defining trust as “firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone”, which is the Oxford Language definition and which works pretty well for me. you’ll note, btw, that the current relationship between Katsuki and Izuku more or less meets all four of these criteria.

reliability - both boys regard each other as dependable and are willing to rely on each other in a pinch (although Izuku is currently having some difficulty with that, but that’s another topic for another day).

truth - both are honest with each other, though not completely honest (this is the aspect that Katsuki still needs to work on, as he’s currently hiding his desire to atone).

ability - neither of them have any difficulty with this. Izuku admires Katsuki’s ability so much that he’s made it his own gold standard since childhood, and Katsuki respects Izuku’s ability enough that he made him his main rival, and never doubted that Izuku was qualified to receive OFA and become All Might’s heir.

strength - as with ability, this is another aspect of trust that neither of them has ever struggled with. in fact, a lot of their relationship struggles happened specifically because Katsuki never doubted Izuku’s strength, but feared it because he didn’t understand it.

so yeah. there’s a lot more trust between them than most people realize, I think. but the thing is that the type of trust they have is based more on knowing than understanding, and that’s where so much of their conflict stems from.

when I say knowing, I’m talking about the kind of awareness that comes from familiarity and experience. this is the type of trust that’s difficult to take shortcuts with, because it mostly just has to be accumulated over time. this is all about learning what someone is like through observing them and being around them. and it’s just as much about being known as well, because at the same time that you’re learning who the other person is, they’re learning about who you are. and that’s where trust starts to work its way in. it’s the slow unveiling of who you are, and laying it on the table piece by piece over time. and every time another little piece of you is revealed and accepted, and every time you accept one more piece of who the other person is in turn, that trust increases a little bit more. this type of trust takes a long, long time to build up, but in exchange the foundation it creates is pretty much rock-solid and nigh-indestructible.

understanding, on the other hand, to me is more instinctual. it’s about empathy and insight. and the interesting thing is that it’s possible to know someone for years upon years, and yet never truly understand them. and on the flip side, it’s also possible to understand someone within minutes of meeting them, even if you know almost nothing about them. if “knowing” is about learning who someone is, I would say that “understanding” is about learning why they are who they are. this type of trust isn’t necessarily always mutual, but it does necessitate forming a connection with someone. because empathy is such a critical component of it, it’s basically impossible to understand someone and not form an emotional connection to them in some way. this type of trust can be far more powerful and intense than the “knowing” type of trust, but the flip side is that it can sometimes be less stable and easier to break.

I think that the majority of fictional relationships, especially the ones that become really popular ships, are based more around the latter type of trust because of its intensity and unpredictability and potential for story development. the thing is, both of these types of trust are necessary for a good ship (and when I say “ship”, I’m talking about both romantic and platonic relationships just fyi). if neither type of trust is present on at least some level, then there’s really no foundation to start building up the relationship. so most of the time a ship will start out with one or the other, and then over the course of the story they'll work on building up whichever one was lacking.

and because of how stories work, the majority of the time we’re going to be dealing with characters who at first don’t know each other all that well. and so the relationships we get are ones where the characters first form some kind of emotional connection that builds understanding, and then over time they start to learn more about each other and build up that kind of trust as well. I feel like 90% of ships have this kind of dynamic. it’s the basis for things like enemies-to-lovers, fake dating AUs, and basically any kind of trope in which the characters get stuck somewhere and are forced to spend a lot of time together. it’s good, and it works.

but the fascinating thing about the relationship between Izuku and Katsuki, though, is that it’s actually the exact opposite of this. the premise of Izuku and Katsuki's story is that these are two people who’ve known each other their entire lives, but have almost no understanding of each other whatsoever. they know almost every little detail about each other, so much that they hardly even think about it. but all of their conflict is based on the fact that understanding between them is basically nonexistent.

and to me this is such an intriguing dynamic. the two of them know each other like the back of their hand. they’re familiar with the smallest habits. they can predict each other’s actions. they know how the other person thinks. and they have the kind of trust that comes with having seen the other at both their best and their worst. Katsuki is capable of letting his guard down around Izuku in a way he doesn’t do around anyone else. he cries in front of him on multiple occasions. he lets Izuku call him “Kacchan” long after their other childhood friends have stopped doing so. and even though he fears and resents Izuku’s strength early on, he also subconsciously acknowledges it in ways that even he doesn’t realize (e.g. “don’t you dare get into U.A.,” rather than “you can’t get in” or “you won’t get in”). he knows Izuku.

but he doesn’t understand Izuku. he knows who he is, but he doesn’t understand why. he knows that Izuku is strong, but he can't wrap his head around the nature of that strength. and because he lacks that understanding, this vital aspect of the trust between them is lacking, and is all too easily broken when Katsuki falls into the creek and Izuku tries to offer his help. Katsuki knows that Izuku is a good person, but he doesn’t understand that goodness, that selflessness, and so he’s mistrustful of it.

on the flip side of the coin, however, Izuku has the utmost faith in Katsuki. to him, Katsuki is the strongest, smartest, most capable and most amazing person in the world (aside from All Might). and Izuku, unlike Katsuki, actually does understand his childhood friend at least a little bit. he understands Katsuki’s reasons for wanting to be a hero. he understands that Katsuki is not just mindlessly pursuing strength. he understands that Katsuki’s motivation is about overcoming obstacles and beating challenges. and most importantly, he understands that Katsuki, in spite of everything he’s said and done to Izuku over the years, is fundamentally a good person.

and this is crucial. because, along with the bond of familiarity they’ve built up together over the years, it’s this other, one-sided bond of understanding that is responsible for their relationship enduring for as long as it did despite everything. as you put it, anon, Izuku’s trust is ultimately what becomes the bridge between them. on some level, he trusts in Katsuki’s innate goodness. he believes in it in spite of all of Katsuki’s attempts to persuade him otherwise. e.g. when Katsuki suggests that he go jump off the roof, Izuku is hurt by the words, but he never once takes them to heart, because he knows on some instinctive level that Katsuki doesn’t mean them. and so he grumbles to himself about Katsuki needing to think before he speaks, but aside from that he never gives the words another thought.

Katsuki would no doubt consider this yet another example of Izuku not caring enough about himself or taking himself into account. but it really is more than that. the reason the words don’t cut deep in spite of them being vicious and well-targeted is simply because Izuku knows that Katsuki isn't truly that cruel. and he knows that on a level so deep that Katsuki is never able to break it despite his best efforts. he can’t break it, because there’s nothing to break, because it’s true. the reason the relationship endures in spite of everything is because deep down Katsuki is fundamentally a good person, and so Izuku’s trust, in the end, is based on truth. and so it never fully breaks, and eventually, it becomes reciprocated.

and that’s what their story is all about. it’s two people that have known each other their entire lives, but have to work in order to build their understanding of each other. unlike many ships, they start off already having that foundation of knowing and being known, and so their story instead is about forging that connection of empathy and insight. and it doesn’t come easily to them at all. but they keep at it.

anyway, so thank you again for sharing your thoughts on this, anon. I didn’t even get into the topic of forgiveness, but I agree with you about it being a process of letting go of negative feelings and resentment. I also agree that forgiveness is a separate thing from trust, but I do think trust plays a big part in one’s decision to forgive or not forgive. it's a lot easier to forgive if you have an understanding of the other person’s actions. and it’s also far, far easier to forgive if the offender’s actions are long in the past. and because the latter is now true in Katsuki’s case, that shows a pattern of him learning from his mistakes and not repeating them. which further builds trust, especially in the “reliability” department. and so even though forgiveness and trust are two separate things, they’re still connected. and in many ways, by working to rebuild the understanding between him and Izuku, Katsuki is also working towards earning Izuku’s forgiveness, even though that’s ultimately something that can never truly be earned, but can only be granted.

I’m not sure if I’m really making my point very clear here lol, but basically what I’m trying to say is that while the relationship may have once been one-sided in this aspect, it’s not anymore. it’s mutual, and they’re both putting the work in. and Katsuki is also doing his part without any guarantee or expectation of forgiveness on Izuku’s end. it’s unconditional. he’s doing it because he wants to atone. and he’ll continue to do it whether he’s forgiven or not. and that’s important. it’s important because it shows that the relationship has value to both of them. and it’s important because neither of them wants to lose it. they want to fix it; they want to make it stronger.

and ultimately what that means is that the relationship will continue to endure, despite their ups and downs. because even though it may have started out as something incidental -- two boys who just happened to become friends because they spent a lot of time together as children -- it’s not, anymore. it’s no longer just something that happened, something that just accidentally came together. it’s something that they’re both working to build. they want to trust each other. they want to understand one another. their relationship is no longer something that simply withstood and persisted -- it’s something that is now being nurtured. and you love to see it.

so let's see, how do I even begin to tl;dr this post lol. something something blah blah blah trust, understanding, childhood friends, knowing someone, having faith in someone, being the recipient of that faith, and working to become worthy of it. they're very confused, but they care about each other a lot, and they are good boys.

#midoriya izuku #bakugou katsuki #bakudeku #bnha meta #bakugou meta #deku meta #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #asks #anon asks

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volturiwolf · 3 years

Text

The Volturi Princess - A Felix Volturi x fem!Reader Story (part 1)

A/N: This is the first Volturi- and Twilight-related story I ever started writing and it is quite long and elaborated/complex, as I tend to overanalyze in many parts. I have wrote a few parts until now and I'll be uploading them in the future. I have been quite emotional throughout writing it, trying to understand the reader's point of view.

A/N 2: I'm sorry if something doesn't make sense. English is not my first language. I also include Italian through the story, with translation, but I'm not a native or a speaker, so I'd like to apologize in advance to those who speak Italian. Enjoy :)

A/N 3: According to "The Amagi" on Youtube, Felix was born in 250 BC (their thumbnail), so I used that in my story.

No of Words: about 5347

Mentions of: Abandonment, Abortion, Anxiety, Blood, Bruises, Coma/Comatosed State, Death Emotional Abuse, Emotional and Physical Pain, Gaslighting, Greece/Greek Language - with translation, Heartbreak, Italian Language - with translation, Manipulation, Murder, Pain, Panic Attacks, Pregnancy, Suffering, Suicide/Suicidal Thoughts, Swear Language, Throwing Up/Puking, Witches/Wizards/Witchcraft

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My heart felt heavy. I may have just escaped the cruelest vampire of all, but I also ran away from the love of my life, my mate, the only person who could fully understand me in this world. I asked him to run away with me, but, although our bond was strong, he felt obliged to stay loyal to his master, his creator. I drove as fast as I could, away from the sunny Volterra, and away from him.

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(Y/N) grew up quite privileged, in Vampire terms. Being born into the Volturi coven was something many vampires could only dream about. (Y/N) was abandoned by her parents when she was a baby, but Aro, one of the three Volturi leaders, took her under his protection, and offered her more things than she could ever have imagined. After all, she was his only biological granddaughter, the “Volturi princess”, an heiress to the throne; her mother lost that “privilege” when she met and fell in love with a wizard.

(Y/N)’s mother soon got pregnant with her, and then later turned her husband into a vampire to help her with her pregnancy, and stay together forever. However, (Y/N)’s parents couldn’t raise her because they wanted to run free and careless, not commit to anything permanent, so Aro took over and raised his granddaughter with the highest honors and privileges, “as a princess should be raised”.

(Y/N) was a mix of Vampire, Witch and Human, due to the grandmother, Sulpicia, being human when Aro found her; Sulpicia later fell pregnant with (Y/N)’s mother, and Aro transformed her to vampire, as he had planned all along. Aro raised (Y/N) according to his own rules and morals, teaching her how to kill humans to feed from, how to attack and slip away from her opponents, how to lead other vampires, and most importantly, how to keep her identity and existence a secret, not only to humans, but other non-Volturi vampires as well. No one could know that there was a possibility of a vampire having a child with a human, and that the child could be effectively controlled and raised as a regular vampire.

As (Y/N) grew older and older, reaching the human age of 25 within 7 years of her birth, Aro would spend more and more time with her, examining and studying her possibilities and her potential powers’ development. (Y/N) grew up to be extremely strong and fast, an excellent tracker with great intelligence and understanding of the world around her. However, Aro could not risk sending her to “Volturi duties”. She was his hope for a stronger coven; with (Y/N) in the throne, Aro felt like he could conquer the vampire world with ease.

That’s why he was always searching for the best guards he could find, to protect the coven and do his work instead of himself, Caius, or (Y/N). He couldn’t rely on Marcus, as he proved to be too emotional since Didyme died, but was still valuable for his plan. Caius, on the other hand, although powerless, was far more sadistic and “diligent” in following vampire rules, and (Y/N)... (Y/N) was just too obedient, following every order Aro gave her - a strong asset for the Volturi.

Aro was changing guards and trackers quite easily, disposing them when they were no longer needed or when he found better ones. He needed talented and strong vampires to serve the coven and do their work.

Chelsea was the very first vampire Aro created solely to serve the Volturi, after recognizing her potential when she was human. Chelsea’s gift of relationship manipulation was truly useful in bringing new vampires into the coven and was used thousands of times during Volturi's reign. It could also easily dispose of them, making their bonds with other vampires break at will; those vampires were isolated by the other vampires and then killed - Aro couldn’t risk letting them get away knowing the Volturi’s secrets and life.

About 100 years later, Corin joined the Volturi, just a couple decades after (Y/N)’s birth. Corin’s gift of addictive contentment was the one which kept Marcus in the Volturi after Didyme’s death - along with Chelsea’s to make him committed to Aro’s greater plans, and was also used on Sulpicia, Athenadora and any other vampire in the Volturi guard to keep them satisfied being in the Volturi. Under Aro’s instructions, Corin was keeping Chelsea content with being in the Volturi, and Chelsea was keeping Corin loyal to them, each of them using their gifts against each other, without their knowledge.

Sometime between 230 and 220 BC, while travelling in Rome, searching for additional vampires to add to the coven, Aro supposedly met a young, strong and ambitious fighter, who wished to become a gladiator one day, named Felix. Felix did not only look, but also was physically capable of fighting even with beasts, during his short time as a fighter, way before the Colosseum was built. Born into a poor family, his strength was his only way of making money, and becoming a gladiator was his only way out of poverty, a way to provide for both his family and himself.

When his family was almost imprisoned by Roman army officers for outstanding debts, Felix was forced to make a deal with them to fight, in whatever they ordered him to. Fighting turned out to be the only way for Felix to deal with his emotions and rage towards people in power. When Aro approached Felix, he was promised a good life, where he wouldn’t have to worry about surviving another day. Felix did not seem willing enough, not being fond of the idea of serving people in power, who he so despised.

Luckily for Aro, Chelsea was the one who “convinced” Felix to join the Volturi guard, with Aro changing him afterwards. Unlike previous guards, Felix showed impeccable strength, speed and talent towards both dodging and initiating attacks, eventually making him a permanent member in the Volturi Guard, along with Chelsea and Corin.

Felix was assigned as the leading guard for the three kings’ protection, this role extending to the protection of their two wives and (Y/N); though Aro knew that, if it came to anyone attacking his granddaughter, she would be able to handle it by herself. However, he still wanted to make sure that she was safe and that Aro would do anything to protect her.

For about a couple millennias, (Y/N) was content with her situation, being the “Volturi princess” and all that. Besides, having Felix in the Volturi was another reason to stay in the coven, apart from staying loyal and true to Aro for taking her in, when she was abandoned.

Every time Felix looked into her eyes, she felt her whole body burn - though, it wasn’t a feeling of suffering, rather a feeling of longing, waiting for something to happen so badly that her body couldn’t control itself. Although she was partially a vampire, (Y/N) would feel like she couldn’t breathe, like her legs were ready to give up on her, like she wanted to grab Felix and never let go.

Felix, although not admitting it even to himself, would feel the same way, but he knew that his position would not allow him to approach (Y/N) in such a way. He was just a guard - although he was the strongest of them all, and she was the Volturi princess, one of his masters, whom he was only allowed to approach in order to protect. He didn’t want Aro to know he saw his granddaughter like that; it could cost him his position in the guard, or even his life. So, he kept these feelings deep within him, not allowing them to resurface, or act upon them.

However, every time these two existed at the same place, the invisible sparks between them would fly left and right. And only one vampire was able to see them. One who hadn’t felt these sparks in centuries.

--------------------------------------------------------

(Y/N)’s POV:

I yawned loudly as I woke from a long, much needed sleep. I was the only vampire around who was able to sleep, mostly due to my non-vampire natures. I didn't really need to sleep on a regular basis, but when I did, I could literally sleep 3 days straight and nobody would be able to wake me up. “For my own protection”, as Aro said, I would always have at least two guards outside of my room’s door, in case anything happened while I was sleeping. Like what could even happen? My room was at the furthest side of this huge castle. I’m pretty sure that if there ever was an attack against the Volturi, it would most probably have been dealt with immediately, and the attacker wouldn’t make it anywhere near my room.

I felt the warm sun on my skin, slightly glowing and sparkling beautifully. My eyes, mostly (Y/E/C) with a golden ring around the pupil, could easily adjust to the light. Unlike the other vampires, I could easily live among humans; I could sleep, eat human food, my skin not being as sparkly as others, and I could control my thirst far better than others.

Since Jane and Alec joined the coven, Aro would show an immense interest in them and their skills, helping them train daily and develop their powers further, eventually forgetting about me. I would spend more and more days away from the castle, “protected” by my anonymity, getting to know humans more and more. The longer I was observing them, the more they would trigger my interest in them. They could feel true emotions, real pain, real hurt, real love. They had their families, they received an unconditional love that I could never have.

Unbeknownst to Aro or anyone else for that matter, I have started developing new powers, similar to the other vampires in the Volturi coven or anyone else outside of it. I have also started noticing that I may have an immunity towards others’ talents, feeling that neither Corin’s addictive contentment made me satisfied with being in the Volturi, nor Chelsea’s relationship manipulation could keep me loyal to Aro anymore. If it weren’t for Felix, or Demetri and the Twins, who have all become my best friends by now, I would have probably left.

A vampire named Carlisle Cullen had visited the Volturi and stayed with us for a while, about 100 years ago. He saw the way the Volturi treated humans like they were nothing, and how they were as cruel as to kill other vampires, with the excuse that they were exposing our kind with the way they lived. Entire covens had been wiped out due to such excuses, a way to eliminate potential enemies from becoming too powerful and find as many talented vampires as possible and force them to join the Volturi.

Carlisle was talking about a new way of life, where vampires wouldn’t have to kill humans to survive, a life where vampires and humans could live in peace, without harming each other. He was insisting that vampires could survive on animal blood just as efficiently as with human blood; that animal blood would not make them weaker, and that it would be a much more ethical and sustainable way to feed.

Of course, Aro and Caius were the first ones to mock his proposition, clearly not caring about humans’ feelings and pain. Marcus did not budge at all, his heartache making him indifferent to anything around him. But I was growing more and more interested in this alternative way of life; I was, after all, feeding on human food already, so that I was feeding on human blood as little as I could.

It was a few years after Carlisle left Volterra that Eleazar joined the Volturi. Aro forced him to join after finding out he could detect if someone had any special ability. Aro considered his gift useful in identifying if any of his enemies had any special power when in battles, or when he sent Eleazar around the world to recruit talented vampires.

Eleazar was clearly not liking the way the Volturi forced their ways and wants on others, and how they could take advantage of others for their own benefit. I could just sense that he was displeased and was forcing himself to stay in the coven, one, due to Corin’s and Chelsea’s gifts, and two, out of fear of what could happen to him and his mate, Carmen.

Carmen, a vampire from Spain, like Eleazar, met with Eleazar while he was a guard here, they fell in love, and eventually, Eleazar decided to leave the Volturi and run away with Carmen. Aro decided that he did not care about him and his gift as much as others’, so he let him go unharmed, “blessing” them for safe travels.

Just a few days before he left, I consulted him on my own powers. Though a lower member of the guard, Eleazar had his own room, a decent place to stay, and spend his endless hours in. I knocked slightly on the door.

“Come in”, a calm voice was heard. I opened the door and came into his room. Carmen was sitting on the edge of their bed and Eleazar was reading a book on his desk. They both smiled sweetly. I just felt and knew they were too nice to fit anywhere in here, among the cruel and strict Volturi.

“(Y/N)! So nice to see you!”Carmen exclaimed and stood to hug me. The second we hugged I started seeing parts of her life in Spain, the calm waters of Catalunya, the vast vineyards where she would spend the early years of her life… I quickly detached myself from her embrace. I just couldn’t invade her privacy like that. She and Eleazar both looked at me worried, as if I had offended them.

“I’m sorry. I just can’t let you “show” me your whole life like that!” I looked at Carmen apologetically.

“(Y/N), you saw Carmen’s life?” Eleazar continued, intrigued by my words.

“That’s why I came to talk to you. I..I feel like I’ve been developing a gift, or a few gifts, to be completely honest. And I feel like.. like I have a specific power one day, and another power the next!” I stated frantically.

It was the first time I have openly talked about my powers to anyone, and I was shaking just by the words that came out of my mouth. Eleazar did not say anything, he just stood there for a few minutes, I supposed “examining” me, as if a doctor checking on a patient.

“Remarkable.” He said calmly. He looked at his mate with excitement, as if he just discovered a lost treasure. “(Y/N) has one of the most remarkable gifts I have ever seen.” He then turned to me. “You, (Y/N), are able to copy anyone else’s gifts and keep them as your own. You don’t even have to be in contact with them. Just by meeting someone, you can obtain their powers. I have never met anyone like that. You also seem to have obtained immunity to others’ powers, kind of like a shield. I have met such vampires before. From the stories Aro has been telling, your mother was like that. It is likely that you copied that gift for her. Such vampires are extremely useful to themselves or even others, in battles. Like themselves, you can use your gift to protect others from others’ powers, beside yourself.”

That came too sudden to my ears. I have assumed that I may have at least one power, but I didn’t realise I could copy others’ powers. That is why I was showing signs of Aro’s power!

“How can I train my powers? Eleazar! Carmen! You have to help me!”

“As you know, we will be leaving soon. I don’t know if there will be enough time to train you.”

“It’s okay. We will train as much as you want. Please, Eleazar! Please, Carmen!” I started begging them. As if they were hypnotized, they quickly looked at each other and agreed to help me.

The next few days, before Eleazar and Carmen’s departure, included intense training, far away from Volterra, deep in the woods, where no human could interrupt us. I couldn’t say the same for vampires, but I hoped nobody would cross paths with us. Eleazar and Carmen helped me develop my self-control and self-awareness, concentrating through the deepest parts of my mind, resurfacing my shield and expanding it beyond my existence. I started to have control over it, as if it was an actual solid substance, a veil floating around me towards any direction I ordered it to go.

After Eleazar and Carmen left, I started travelling the world more, trying to copy as many powers as I could come across with, while also training my shield. My excitement for the endless possibilities was what kept me going - kind of when Aro would add another talented vampire to his Guard. His Guard. Felix. I wonder how he was. I hadn’t seen him in a while. I wondered if he thought of me like I thought of him.

After travelling pretty much anywhere I could reach, I eventually went back to where it all started: I went to Greece. Aro met Sulpicia here, apparently my mom met my dad here. Maybe I could find out, understand why they left me. I have never met them, but I felt as if my tracking skills could detect them through my own existence.

I started travelling through the country, hoping that they stayed here or, at least, that they’re alive. I spent about 2 or 3 years in Greece, trying to take in every different place, while also avoiding the battles that seemed to take place in every other corner. I was feeding off animals mainly, mostly when I couldn’t find any other human food. I was washing myself in rivers, streams, whatever I could find.

I was stopping by any village that seemed to be still standing, asking about the current situation. The Greek Revolution, which started a few years ago, seemed to still be going on. The Ottomans, who had been occupying Greece for almost 400 years, could not allow Greeks to turn against them and start claiming their rights within the Ottoman Empire.

Many Greeks I met and talked to, admitted that some of the Ottomans were actually being nice to them; it was only the Ottoman government ordering their armies to execute massive massacres against Greeks, and after all this time, a few Greeks started gathering up and planning a revolution, away from Greece, in fear of being caught. They started getting organized and finding possible allies to help them with the Revolution; they just couldn’t risk getting caught within the country that they were hoping the independent Greece could become. The battles were becoming more and more intense, both on the mainland, as well as on the islands.

I started looking for answers, anything that could suggest that my parents were still alive and somewhere in Greece. To my surprise, I crossed paths with many Greek nomad vampires all over the country. They were also fighting against either Ottoman vampires or each other for territorial claims; however, they all talked me out of travelling north, towards Macedonia. The region had started being reclaimed back by Greek humans, but vampires were also seeing the potential for the area and they fought against each other for the land.

All of the nomads I encountered were talking about some of the most vicious vampires claiming the land, their enemies being literally slaughtered and burned to set an example for other vampires to back off their territory. I was intrigued, and I knew that, most probably, I would be able to deal with them or flee before they got to me.

So, I started travelling north, through the woods and mountains, in order to avoid any possible battle between humans, though many of them seemed to hide in the mountains, preparing for their battles. Macedonia was a quite big and vast region, so I had to travel quite a few days and search every possible corner.

I know I shouldn’t have done this, but I was feeling exhausted from all the searching. I haven’t fed in quite some time, and my throat was burning by the familiar need for blood. I haven’t seen any animals all these days, and I was wondering if they were gone or hiding.

Sadly, I came across a human. He seemed to be wounded, probably during a battle, his blood gushing out of his body. I couldn’t help myself, when I breathed in the smell, the burning sensation becoming unbearable. I thought of approaching him slowly, so as not to scare him, offering to help him, but deep down I just wanted to feed off of him.

“Γειά! Συγνώμη αν σε τρόμαξα. Σε είδα από μακριά. Μπορώ να σε βοηθήσω με κάποιο τρόπο; (Hey! Sorry if I scared you. I saw you from afar. Can I help you in any way?)” I offered calmly.

The man was trying to suppress his growls. I could sense his pain. I tried to help him stand on his feet, and then I saw all of his memories. He was in the army, fighting alongside Greeks against the Ottomans, in Macedonia, just outside of Thessaloniki. I didn’t even know I was so close to a city, let alone Thessaloniki.

He was trying to pass through the woods, when he came across what seemed to be two red-eyed vampires, one male and one female. They tried to attack him, but someone else managed to shoot him first, forcing the two vampires to run away. I don’t know how or why, these two felt familiar to me, I could feel that through his memories.

“Γειά! Μπορείς.. Μπορείς να πας στο κοντινότερο χωριό; Νομίζω.. Νομίζω ότι είδα κάτι στο δάσος, δε νομίζω ότι ήταν κάτι φυσιολογικό! Πρέπει.. Πρέπει να προειδοποιήσω τους άλλους! (Hey! Can.. Can you get me to the nearest village? I think.. I think I saw something in the woods, I don’t think it was something normal! I have.. I have to warn the others!)” He mumbled in between sharp shoots of pain.

“Με συγχωρείς πολύ! (I’m really sorry!)” I plead with guilty eyes. I put my hand in his wound, searching for the bullet, while he was consumed by pain. I took the bullet out of the wound, and quickly attached my lips on his skin, sucking the blood as fast as I could, biting deeply unintentionally. His screams were becoming louder and louder, so I covered his mouth with my hand, while trying to shut him up or break his jaw. A few seconds later, he stopped screaming, and I let his lifeless body fall, completely numb and drained out of blood.

I felt renewed, his blood travelling to every part of my body and giving me a new kind of strength that I haven’t felt in a while. I still felt guilty for killing him, but he was already wounded and I couldn’t risk him exposing our kind to others. I assumed that whoever found him - if anyone found him - would also assume that he died of blood loss, so I tried to position him in a realistic pose for that purpose, as best as I could. I left him there, and continued the search for my parents.

--------------------------------------------------------

I was running through the woods, trying to locate the two vampires from the guy’s memories. My mind was chaotic, I wasn’t thinking about something specific. I stopped in my tracks. What Aro taught me, and what I understood from Demetri’s tracking skills, is that you have to stop, take a breath and realize your position in the world. Then, you would be able to realize everything around you and find your targets. I have successfully found other vampires like that before, vampires who I have either met in person or smelled their scent, but I didn’t know if I could find someone through someone else’s memories of them.

I took a deep breath and tried to concentrate as best as I could, focusing on the smaller details of the guy’s memories of these vampires. I felt two vampires running on my west, about 10 kilometers away, and I ran after them. They were running fast, but I was way faster. Within a minute or two, I was running right behind their tracks. They must have realized that a stranger was following them, but, instead of running, they suddenly stopped. I stopped as well, and we were now facing each other.

The female had long, brunette, curly hair, and the male short, dark brown, straight hair; both of their hair looked shiny, healthy, and rich. They were of average height and their eyes were piercing red, as if they also fed quite recently. The female was exceptionally beautiful and enchanting; I could only compare her to Heidi’s exceptional beauty. The male looked quite stoic and austere, though still beautiful.

Both of them on defensive positions, waiting for me to attack. I wasn’t planning to move any further from my position; I was only waiting for their own reactions. I felt that kind of a burning sensation within me again, like a feeling buried deep inside me, trying to find an escape.

Suddenly, the male growled at me, flames springing out of his hands, and being thrown at me. I felt my heart fall out of my chest, fearing that this would be my end. As if my body reacted on its own, I felt my own shield extending out of my body, building a wall around me and protecting me from the male’s attack. My hands started burning and flames came out, ready to counterattack the male. The male looked at the female, dumbfounded by what he witnessed, still in a defensive position, but ready to attack again.

“I’M NOT HERE TO FIGHT YOU!” I shouted at both of them. “I’M JUST SEARCHING FOR SOMEONE!”

The male shrinked back, the female following close by. “Who are you looking for? We haven’t seen you around. Who are you? Why are you here?” The male requested. His voice serious, but smooth at the same time; a voice I could only describe as the warm earth below their bare feet.

“No, I’m not. I come from Italy, though I think I was born around here. My name is (Y/N), I’m looking for my parents. I don’t quite remember what they look like, but I’m pretty sure that they lived around here. They abandoned me when I was a baby.”

“This has been our territory for almost 3 millennials! We would have known if any humans abandoned their offspring around here!” The female exclaimed, as if she didn’t believe a word I said. I didn’t want to tell them the whole story, but I had to show them that I didn’t mean to fight in any way.

“I never said they were humans. My mother was actually sort of a vampire, like you.”

The female started letting her guards down. “What do you mean sort of? I’ve never heard of a “sort of vampire” before!” She continued doubtfully.

“Believe me or don’t, my mother was born half vampire, half human. My dad wasn’t even a vampire before she met him. He wasn’t even human to be honest.” My eyes started stinging slightly. I could have had a good, happy life if they didn’t abandon me. I wouldn’t have to grow up with Aro.

“You said you were from Italy.” I nodded at the male, as he continued. “You never said where exactly.”

I wasn’t sure if I should tell them my real origin; I wouldn’t like them to know I was a Volturi, but I knew I needed help to find my parents. If they were actually here as long as they say, they might have known or met my parents at some point.

“Volterra. I was born here, in Greece, like my mother, but grew up in Volterra with my grandparents.” I looked down, kind of scared, kind of anxious, waiting for their next move.

The female gasped. “Are you a Volturi?!” I looked at her, straight in the eyes, swallowed, and nodded. “I know the Volturi. Who are your grandparents?”

“Aro and Sulpicia.” I answered so quietly that, if they weren’t vampires, they wouldn’t have heard me, my voice trembling slightly.

The female suddenly fell on her knees, the male wrapping his arms around her, comforting her. I didn’t know what was going on. Did I say something wrong? Were they scared? The sheer mention of the Volturi would scare a lot of vampires, but I thought that maybe these two seemed strong enough to deal with them.

The female started sobbing, no tears coming out of her red eyes, her body shaking. I felt something within me break. I felt that I didn’t want to upset them, that’s why I was hesitant in telling them who I really was. The male looked at me, pain in his eyes. I saw a familiar look. I saw me in his eyes, what I looked at in my mirror anytime I was thinking about my parents, or, sometimes, when I thought of Felix.

“Are you a half witch?” The male asked quietly. Something snapped in me. How would he know that?

“I swear, I didn’t do anything to your mate! I DIDN’T!” I shouted at the male. I didn’t want him to think that I would hurt his mate, or himself.

“I know you wouldn’t. It’s just..” He looked at his mate who had stopped sobbing, but was still down on her knees, unable to stand up. “..my mate is Aro and Sulpicia Volturi’s only daughter.”

My body tensed and shivered. If that woman is the only daughter Aro and Sulpicia ever had...could that mean..?

I took a few steps back. “AM I YOUR DAUGHTER? ARE YOU MY PARENTS?” I looked at them in disbelief.

Those were the people who abandoned me! That let me grow parentless, under Aro’s rules and directions! I was breathing heavily, in between sobs. I didn’t even realize that I set my whole body ablaze, until both vampires looked at me shocked. I didn’t feel any pain, but I couldn’t stop the flames licking my body, and in my frantic state, I started panicking even more.

The male started approaching me slowly, trying to not scare me away. “Shush, shush. You’re okay. You’re doing okay. I know how it feels at first. You’re experiencing some aspects of the life as a witch. It’s okay. Close your eyes and picture the flames in your head.” I closed my eyes and tried concentrating on the flames. “Now, imagine them burning out, becoming smaller and weaker.” I focused on the flames, imagining them weakening. After a few minutes, I felt them getting smaller and smaller, and finally disappearing. I opened my eyes slowly.

The female was standing next to the male, watching me carefully. In a quick motion, she pulled me and embraced me, stroking my hair lightly. I breathed in her scent, a mix of mountain flowers and the saltiness of the sea. Her touch was soft, and filled me up with what felt like a thousand different emotions.

But, I mostly felt safe. It was the first time in my life that I actually felt this safe. And whole. I felt like I actually belonged somewhere. I hugged her back. Tears started spilling from my eyes. That was my mom! That was actually my mom! After all this time, we were finally together. I felt the male, my dad, hugging both of us, and in that moment, I felt my legs giving up on me, and I finally fell into a long sleep.

#felix volturi #felix volturi imagine #felix volturi x reader #volturi #twilight #twilight renessaince #twilight post #demetri volturi #alec volturi #jane volturi #the cullens #the denali coven

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dilftaroooo · 3 years

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I read your last fic and 🥰🥰🥰

Do you have any hcs for Jotaro with a childhood friend reader that can ACTUALLY tell what he's thinking? Maybe they have a water based stand and actually travel to Egypt with him to kill DIO and he realizes his feelings for them along the way cause of how much they understand him?

oh man this will be a challenge. although i do love jotaro, he is a very complex character to write due to his stoic personality. i hope i get this right for you anon. (p.s. sorry for posting this so late. i wanted to post my asks in chronological order and this request happened to be the last request after another fic request i plan to write. my dumbass should've done this earlier since its just a hc and it'll be shorter)

warning: contains spoilers of jjba: stardust crusaders

jotaro with a childhood friend who understands him. (part 3!jotaro x gn!reader)

❧ it's outstanding to the crusaders that you're able to understand what it is jotaro is feeling towards a particular situation. his standoffish nature and lack of personality made it hard to communicate

❧ he was indifferent to literally everything that they've came across; that same blank stare was worn for any situation they had to endure. it was impossible to know what was going through his mind, he was an expertise at hiding his emotions

❧ if it wasn't for you, the things jotaro felt would have never been exchanged

❧ from his emotions to the things he liked and disliked down to his personal opinion; you knew all of it

❧ there was a time when you all settled in a restaurant in india and joseph offered some his food to you and jotaro, he hoped that jotaro would like it but joseph only frowned at his lack of reaction when he nibbled on the small treat

"oh come on now, grandson! ya' like it or not?" you only shook your head, as if he was asking you that question. "he doesn't like it, mr. joestar. it's too sweet." the others were shocked to see jotaro nod in agreement as he puts the bitten khaman on the dishplate. just how the fuck were you able to tell?

❧ jotaro was pretty impressed with you also (though he would never admit it ofc) but it was expected since you've know each other since grade school. you were the one who saw him gradually convert during the 11+ years you've been friends. you saw him go from adoring his mother and the others around him to treating everyone like shit and not even batting an eyelash and deep down, it wounded you

❧ he had a habit of balling up his emotions during dire moments - when holly developed a stand she couldn't control and fell ill, jotaro remained in his usual state; cool and collected. but you looked past that and saw the profound distress that he failed to reveal, the worries of his mother was clear to you. you and only you were able to see that

"jotaro.." you whispered to him as he looked at his mother through shaded turquoise eyes. he didn't bother sparing you a glace, already predicting the worried look in your eyes. "we'll save her. i know it." he responds with a delayed grunt before leaving the room, tilting his hat further down to cover his face. maybe then you won't be able to see the strained tear that feathered his eyelashes.

❧ during the span of your 50 day journey, the aftermath of the compelling battle with dio was where you got jotaro to break down.

he was doing it again - supressing his hurt, his anger, his apprehension. he stood glancing down at the souless body of his grandfather that rested on the stretcher, dead and immobile. he couldn't do anything but admit the death of his old man, nothing could be done. he tenses when he felt arms wrap around his torso. the warmth from another body was something he hasn't felt in so long - he last recalled the warm presence of his mother after he skimmed his knee, but that was eons ago.

"you're scared, jotaro. you're hurt. i can see that." you tighten your grip. "why must you bottle up your emotions? there's nothing wrong with showing how truly feel. everybody can be vulnerable once in a while, right?" you can feel him tremble under your touch. you couldn't help but cry. not just by jotaro's distress but by the loss of joseph. during this long journey, your bond grew tremendously. it was like losing your own grandfather. you don't know if you'd be able to recover after this adventure. not after the lives lost.

you were taken by surprise when you hear jotaro's soft whimpers. looking up you caught glace of his clenched teeth as if to hold back his tears but it was fruitless. his tears fell and cascaded down your chin.

"i'm sorry." he chokes with a restrained voice. his apology wasn't just for joseph. "i'm so fucking sorry." he hugs you back. you can tell it was genuine by the strength of his grip. you would've pushed him away to regain your breath if it wasn't for the grief the both of you were going through. choked sobs and sniffles filled the back of the ambulance.

❧ jotaro didn't mind the way you held his hand or the way you scooched closer to his face

❧ nor did he mind your soft lips make contact with his. he took that time to accept his true feelings for you - the love that grew in his heart over the years was strong. he deepened the kiss, never wanting the serene moment to end

❧ he's just glad that you were the one. the one he was destined to be with

#jotaro x reader #jotaro kujo headcanons #jjba #jotaro kujo #jotaro kujo x reader #jojo no kimyou na bouken #jojo's bizarre adventure #jjba headcanons #requests. [👘]

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the-ferocious-kittyrose · 3 years

Text

My complicated opinion on Keith Kogane

Keith Kogane is definitely one of the more popular characters in the VLD fandom. People love brooding emo bad boys.

My feelings on Keith are... complicated. I definitely don’t hate him. I have a lot of problems with the character but I don’t think I could ever bring myself to actually hate him. Mainly because I kinda relate to him. We both have problems controlling our emotions, interacting with people, and making friends.

And we both have trouble believing there are people who truly have our best interests at heart and won’t abandon us because we’re a burden.

What I do hate is the way his character was written and the way it negatively impacted the characters around him.

There are definitely a lot of factors that contributed to VLD ending up the way it did. But to me, Keith and the writers insistence on pushing him to the forefront was the poison that killed the show.

Ok, before we get into this whole rant I feel like I should talk about the things I do like about Keith.

I like the premise of Keith’s character. He’s half Galra and never really fit in on Earth. He didn’t act like the other “normal” kids so kids made fun of him and adults didn’t want to deal with him. So in order to protect himself from the pain of rejection he would put up a tough angry facade and push people away and reject them before they could reject him.

This is something that really resonates with me personally having grown up neurodivergent. It’s awful growing up in a world that isn’t made for people like you and not knowing how to interact with or connect with your peers. Especially when you don’t know why you’re like that.

You learn to avoid social interaction because it always ends up negative. You put up walls because you don’t feel like anybody understands you or what you’re going through.

I know the writers probably didn’t intend to code Keith as neurodivergent. They just wanted Keith to be a hothead with abandonment issues, but nonetheless, this interpretation means a lot to me.

I also really like his relationship with Shiro. Keith is so used to being left behind and abandoned that when he meets someone like Shiro who’s patient and genuinely cares it’s new and strange. He’s so ready for Shiro to abandon him, even telling Shiro to send him back to the home, but Shiro refuses to leave him and tells Keith ethat he’s never going to give up on him.

It’s also interesting to see how their relationship develops over time. It’s clear Keith trusts Shiro, but you can tell that that fear of abandonment is still there deep down. In S2, Keith tells Shiro that he’s like a brother to him, and then in season 6, he takes the extra step and tells Shiro that he IS his brother and that he loves him. And for someone like Keith, telling their friend they love them is a big scary thing.

And also it’s just great to see a platonic “I love you,” especially between two guys. Don’t be afraid to tell your bros you love them!!!

Now let’s talk about the stuff I didn’t like.

Keith doesn’t have much going for him in terms of personality. He’s just sorta brooding and serious all the time. He does make jokes occasionally but it’s rare. The writers were more focused on making him cool and badass rather than fun.

I always loved the idea of Keith as a cocky carefree asshole who doesn’t give a shit about rules/laws and is kinda rude/aggressive but has a heart of gold deep down and would do anything for the people he cares about. (Just like a cat.)

I would also make him more alien esc. In terms of design I like the idea of Keith having red eyes with narrow pupils and fangs. And also just small things like the way he walks and holds himself. He growls and bears his teeth when he’s angry, his hair puffs up when scared, he’s fast and agile, disappearing and reappearing without making much noise, small things.

Then you have his race and sexuality. I have no doubt in my mind that Keith was intended to be a straight white dude. A lot of people see him as gay and Asian but there’s no evidence for this in canon. Acxa was originally intended to be his love interest and his race was never mentioned in canon. His name isn’t even Kogane in canon. (And the race of the voice actor doesn’t equal the race of the character. If that was the case Shiro, Hunk, and Lance would be white.)

They should’ve totally made Keith Japanese like he was in the original. It would’ve been so easy! Just canonize Kogane as his last name and have the book say he’s half Japanese half Galra. They could’ve also done what they did with Shiro and keep his og GoLion name. Just have him be Akira Kogane. Definitely cooler than “Keith.”

And as for his sexuality, I definitely think they should’ve had Keith be gay. But well get to that Later...

I also don’t like how they handled the whole Krolia thing. Not only was it crazy rushed, but it completely goes against the shows theme of found family.

Keith’s arc should’ve been about overcoming his abandonment issues and learning to accept the paladins as family. But instead they just get rid of the abandonment issues by just giving him his mom back.

I know a lot of people love Krolia but I don’t feel like she should’ve been introduced in anything other than flashbacks. Because Keith’s mom isn’t really that important. The show is about found family and friendship, not blood relation.

You can definitely have Keith learn about his mom and his family, but I feel like giving him his mom back was too much.

Personally, I always headcanoned that Kolivan was Keith’s grandfather or just a close friend of Krolia’s, and when Keith showed up at the Blade’s base Kolivan recognized the blade as his Krolia’s. Keith could learn about his mom through Kolivan telling him about her, how she was a great person and warrior who died fighting to make the universe a safer place for her son.

Another thing I didn’t like was the whole Keith leaving the team for the Blades thing. I know why he did it, he felt like the team was gonna reject him, he wanted to be more useful, and wanted to learn about his family, but I feel like you could’ve touched on all that without having him abandon his team.

One of the biggest problems with the show is that they did a bad job at establishing the paladins as friends, they feel like coworkers more than anything, and I feel like Keith being absent for two seasons contributed to that.

And his absence is hardly addressed. The team forms Voltron perfectly without him and no one ever says they miss him. Keith doesn’t even seem like he missed them after being gone for two years.

And a lot of the weight was taken out of that Keith v Kuron fight by the fact that Keith and Kuron hardly interacted.

That whole thing amounted to four things, Keith meeting Krolia (which I don’t think should’ve happened), them finding the colony (which was a dumb plot I don’t think should’ve happened), Keith aging up two years (which was weird and unnecessary), and Keith meeting Kosmo (which is... complicated).

I don’t think this plot was necessary. Keith should’ve stayed with his team.

Then you have his relationship with Lance. I know people are very sensitive about this topic. People have very strong opinions about whether or not Keith and Lance were intended to be romantically coded.

Personally, I do like Klance but I don’t believe they were romantically coded. I think if you want them to get together some things would have to go differently.

For example, the bonding moment. In canon, Lance tells Keith, “we make a good team.” I don’t see this as referring to him and Keith. I think he was talking about the whole team. If you want it to be about the two of them, I feel like it should be Lance telling Keith something like, “ya know, you’re not so bad after all,” and then Keith smiles and responds, “you’re not so bad yourself.”

Another example could be the scene where Lance comes to Keith with his insecurities. (Whether it’s as a leader or a friend.) This scene was weird in canon, Lance comes to Keith for advice and Keith basically tells him to just stop thinking about it.

I would prefer if Lance brought up to Keith how he doesn’t feel like he’s good enough or that he doesn’t have, “a thing,” and Keith is completely dumbfounded like, “what are you even talking about?” He goes on about all the good shit about Lance. Talks about how Blue chose him, how he’s a great shot, how he’s good at dealing with people, meanwhile Lance is standing there in shock as Keith says all these nice things about him.

Over all you would just have to develop their relationship more. More meaningful interactions. And if you want the relationship to be romantic you would have to establish that early on. Establish that one or both has romantic feelings for the other in like S1/S2 because if you wait too long it’s gonna feel forced/out of no where.

And then... you have the Black Paladin arc... I’m gonna be real with y’all, this is the arc that killed the show for me, for a few reasons.

One, even ignoring the whole quintessence bond thing, it makes no sense for Keith to be the bp. He doesn’t fit the role. I adore Shiro but choosing Keith as his successor was a dumb move. I get that he saw potential in Keith but they’re are fighting a war, there’s no room for favoritism.

Shiro should’ve chosen Allura as his successor. Not only does she have actual leadership experience, but you would only have one paladin in a new Lion instead of three.

If a lifeguard breaks his leg and can’t work, he should choose an experienced swimmers to take his place, not his little bro that’s still in water wings in the hopes that it’ll teach him to swim.

Two, Keith being the bp doesn’t help his arc. Keith’s arc is about overcoming his abandonment issues and learning to be a team player, he doesn’t need to be the leader for that.

VLD should’ve been about the paladins growing into the best versions of themselves they could be. Their development shown by unlocking new abilities in their respective lions, new forms for their bayards, and new Voltron bayard power ups. They shouldn’t have to change lions and themselves.

Keith and Red have a strong bond and work great together. Keith and Red are both temperamental, unpredictable, and have issues with trust. Keith having to fight to get Red to trust and open up to him mirrors how others have to fight to earn Keith’s trust and get him to let down his walls.

It would’ve been interesting to see them grow together. Keith has no emotional connection with Black.

We never even get to see them bond. Keith just suddenly becomes the “perfect” bp/leader because he got over his mommy issues

Three, it’s a MASSIVE disservice to Shiro’s character. Shiro put all the work in earning his position as the bp, he literally fits fought Zarkon on the astral plane to earn her trust, yet Keith is the true bp? What?

It sucks. Sendak told Shiro that a monster like him could never be a paladin and the writers went and proved him right. Hell Shiro didn’t even get to kill Sendak, Keith got that too.

And don’t tell me, “but he got the Atlas!” REALLY!? A massive Deus ex machina that required absolutely no effort from him to acquire!? Filled with a bunch of rando background characters no one gives a shit about!? You’re totally right, that 100% makes up for it.

I could go on and on about how the treatment of Shiro in this show (and fandom) is blatantly ableist but that’s a rant for another time.

It sucks. I want to like Keith! He had the potential to be an amazing character but the writers just kept on trying to turn him into something he wasn’t and it ruined him for me.

They kept trying to turn Keith into the main character and ignored that ALL the paladins are the main characters. It’s an ensemble cast! You don’t have to have everything come back to one guy.

#voltron #voltron legendary defender #voltron legendary discourse #vld #vld critical #keith kogane #keith vld #red paladin keith #klance #krolia #black paladin shiro #takashi shirogane #vld shiro #black lion #red lion #galra #galra keith #blade of marmora

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elia-de-silentio · 3 years

Text

Recap on Vanijeanne

As we try to recover from ... well, chapter 50, who wants to read a recap on the most controversial and Problematique couple in the manga?

*crickets*

Well, it was in my to-do list, so I'm writing it anyways.

Now, I love their first meeting, because while it sucks on 'what is actually happening' level, it does a wonderful work of exposure of the characters, hinting at their further development in a few panels.

Jeanne is presented as a '''''"strong woman'''''' ... meaning that's she's very good at fighting. That's essentially a good thug, it says nothing on character strenght. In fact, the only words she says for the first two chapters are asking Luca for orders: she's not shown as someone who takes initiative and acts on her own.

Even her emotional bond to Luca is taken as a sign of her weakness; while caring for someone isn't in any way a moral or emotional deficiency, quite the opposite actually, it hints at the fact that this girl has been so isolated, she has grown terribly attached to the only person to treat her with more than basic decency.

Speaking of basic decency, Vanitas fails even that. He straight-out sexually harassess her, making her feel even more powerless after mocking her for not living up to the strenght expected from her. We will later see that Vanitas isn't above psychological attacks on his enemies (hello, Astolfo), but this is callous even for his standards. Why would he do that?

Well, even if it was the first chapters, it was a bit of a shock to see the character behaving in such a way. Insofar, Vanitas had been presented as cocky, somewhat pushy and trollish, but also determined to help people, kind to Amelia, cheerful and funny. All around, a 'good guy'.

Even Noé, who back then said he didn't particularly like Vanitas, called 'overwhelmingly right' his healing of Amelia. Vanitas pulls a face at hearing that, and I suspect his behaviour towards Jeanne is in some measure a way to 'de-impress' Noé. After all, as we'll see in later chapters, he is an horrible person and can't risk someone actually liking him, right?

Their following meeting at the Bal Masqué is almost as bad. Here, Vanitas exploits her weakened state to flat out coerce Jeanne into drinking his blood, again using Luca as emotional blackmail (she'll hurt Vani, so the kid will be okay). Again, Jeanne really, really doesn't want to do this, and the scene drives home well her turmoil and hatred for the whole situation.

If Jeanne is being coerced in a situation of weakness, Vanitas is not actually faring that better. He wanted to have his blood drunk because he had seen Dominique and Noé do that, and he wanted something similar to the affection these two expressed, but not too similar because he doesn't deserve it and so he must make sure that the other party hates him and - this guy is a mess.

But the blood-drinking looks definitely painful for him. Heck, he even has to cover his own mouth to avoid screaming!

Their third meeting keeps on this proud tradition. In this instance, Vanitas makes quite a bit of back and forth: first he teases Jeanne in public about that possession mark, then dials back when he sees Luca taking issue; he offers privately to help her mantain her secret about the uncontrollable blood-craving, then he puts forth conditions (that she calls him by his name, thus establishing an intimacy she doesn't want, and that she drinks only from him, this limiting the damage she could do but also keeping a personal leash on her); he requires that she only drinks his blood, prattling on how good it feels, but then he has the same pained expression when she actually does it. His motivations here are probably mixed: partly desire to help a possible curse-bearer, partly a way to exercise control on Jeanne (as we have seen with Noé, Vanitas likes being the one in charge of situations), and partly some actual attraction to her.

On her part, Jeanne stands firm in her dislike of Vanitas, even if she really liked the taste of his blood.

Later in the same chapter, Noé questions Vanitas about love; he admits that he doesn't really know, just when he looks a Jeanne il flusso sanguigno gli passa dalle zone superiori a quelle inferiori his heart beats faster. He also lists his reasons for liking Jeanne; quite surprisingly, not only her considerable chest (though that got attention) but also some personality traits, such as her weird blend of toughness and fragility. Still, they're not exactly deep reasons. It sound more like a superficial crush.

But then, he adds something very important: he pursues her because she won't love him back. Here we got the first big hint of Vanitas's huge self-loathing: he is an horrible person, he doesn't deserve love, if someone loves him it means they have got some problems. He likes Jeanne, she's not the kind of person to like him back, he can have a '''safe''' relationship!

Then there is their famous date. It began as a ploy on Jeanne's part to get rid of Vanitas: because of quella comare di Noé, Dominique and then Jeanne herself get to know about that observation just above. So they get the idea: let's pretend that Jeanne really likes Vanitas, so he will leave on his own.

A sound plan, which would have worked if not for ... well, take a look at Jeanne up there. Does she look like she's confessing her love, or trying very hard not to throw up?

But the problem is: the date is great. Vanitas understands exactly what she was up to, and promptly went along with the act. And for the first time, he is actually nice to her: he shows her around the city, is attentive to her wishes, he speaks his mind about some little things.

And this completely throws Jeanne off her balance. Where does this sudden change come from? (And this was probably Vani's intention all along, as another way to keep her on edge and control her)

Not to mention, she's really not used to kindness. She's a bourreau, a pariah. She is so rarely treated with any decency, she is extremely sensitive when someone shows her even a little of it.

This ... '''cute''' rendez-vous comes to an abrupt end when an accident triggers Jeanne's bloodthirst. Vanitas gets her away before anything can happen, lets her feed on him (which still look painful) and tries to understand what exactly her problem is.

Whatever it is, Jeanne is forbidden by Ruthven to talk about it; the only thing certain, is that she is terrified by the perspective of harming Luca, should she no longer be able to control this bloodthirst. Vanitas reacts to this by promising to kill her before such thing can happen.

This scene is ...uuuuh ... interesting. I think that Vanitas actually meant well, even if only in part and in his own way. He surely sees it as an important promise, that he will honor should the necessity manifest itself. As for the other part, here is another nice chance for him to be the one in control!

With their next meeting, Mochizuki slams the gas pedal. In this case, Jeanne is not in a condition of vulnerability, there is nothing to blackmail her with at hand, and she's physically better off: it's the first time we see her take charge.

She has finally the chance to show off her better qualities: her sense of honor in repaying debts (Vanitas protected her from a blow from Astolfo before, getting wounded as a result), her level-headedness in difficult situation and her sense of responsibility towards others.

Vanitas, on the other hand, is a wreck. He lost his book, he got wounded, he has got hypotermia, he couldn't prevent Jeanne from stripping him out of the wet clothes and seeing the scars on his body, he has got a fever and is delirious. In this state, he gets a pretty loose tongue: he asks Jeanne some pretty personal questions about her motives here. She stays firm on what she 'has to' do regarding Chloé, but still, this is the first seed of doubt in her mind.

Oh, and there another kinda-kiss. No idea what Jeanne was thinking, passing Vanitas water that way instead of just putting the bottle to his lips.

Anyways, Vanitas really doesn't like not being the one in control. The morning after he acts the coldest he has ever been to Jeanne, dismissing her and then focusing on the task at hand, doing his best to avoid talking about that moment of fragility. Still, he shows some care for her, inviting her to listen to Dante's informations about Chloé.

They have a bit of a conflict of interest in there: Jeanne feels guilty about not fulfilling her duty as a tool and wants to amend by actually killing her mentor, Vanitas wants to save that same person; and, maybe because of personal experience, he has realized that Chloé 's death won't make Jeanne happy.

And how does the situation get resolved? In the sweetest, most actually romantic way possible. Vanitas exposes the truth about Gevaudan to Jeanne, and asks her what she truly wants.

A bit of exposition on Jeanne's past reveals that she has severe trauma after witnessing the death of her parents and being treated as a bourreau, a tool; she's convinced that if she ever acts according to her own will, someone else will be hurt. She's completely broken down by not having been able to kill one of the few people who treated her with kindness, and blames herself for everything that's happened in this arc.

But (after some unwitting influence from Noé) in sweeps our knight in a shining baggy coat, with the following message: she has every right to her desires. He wants to make her happy, he won't die as a result, he's ready to accept all she has to say, without judging her, with no condescension or trying to control her. All she has to do is be the one to give the order, and he'll obey. And she wishes for Chloé to be saved.

Chloé is saved. Her will to live is restored, and she is reunited with the people she loves. Jeanne is, in her own words, 'so happy she could burst', and extremely grateful to Vanitas.

This propels her to first drink his blood, and this time it really doesn't look painful; then to kiss him. And this time, he is the one to blush and stutter, clearly off-balanced by what has happened and by the fact he doesn't dislike it one bit.

The following chapters can be only described as hysterical. Upon actually falling in love, Vanitas enacts the following:

• Spending ten days in bed, thinking he's about to die.

• Believing Jeanne cursed him

• Describing extensively and graphically, in front of Count Orlok, that particular blood-drinking che per come è posto sembra più una trombata

• Getting physically thrown out as a result

• Wandering in a haze, thinking about Jeanne's smile

• Running in a panic after hearing some convenient passerby declare his feelings for a girl with him

• After almost literally stumbling on Roland, sitting down with him and Olivier and trying to get romantic advice from a guy he dislikes and another he has never seen before.

• Trying the 'asking for a friend' trick. Is figured out after an esteemed timeframe of 0.2 seconds.

(Perdonate l'interruzione. La faccia da culo di Roland meritava la condivisione)

• Getting the most desperate look after Roland diagnisizes him with 'love'

• Throwing away all pretenses and expressing outright his self-loathing, to what is pretty much a couple of strangers, in stark contrast with his usual reservation.

• Reacting like a pissed-off cat to any attempts of comfort from Roland and Noé.

Meanwhile, Jeanne ...

Well, actually there is a whole sequence where she realizes she is in love, and describes the same symptoms as Vani in a cheerful, positive way to two flabbergasted Dominique and Luca; but I felt like the above panel was the most culturally relevant.

The point is, now that the feelings are real, Jeanne is the most confident and forward of the two. And this is a pretty great thing for her: as a bourreau, she didn't think love would have played a part in her life; she felt that she was just a tool, but not now, she has realized that she can love and be loved, and this makes her happy and confident. As Dominique observes, she shreds the shyness and insecurity that circumstances had forced on her, and returns to her original, cheerful personality; you can't take your eyes off her.

Still, in a following chapter, she has that little fantasy of a classic fairytale with herself and Vani in the protagonist roles. While it's a very cute and funny scene, it highlights something that Dominique too noticed: she is very black-and-white about Vanitas. She has gone from absolutely loathing him (with good reason!) to absolutely idealizing him (again, he finally acted with real kindness and selflessness towards her, but she doesn't even recognize how awful he was towards her at the start).

This would mean a fair share of problems with any normal person, as nobody is completely horrible or completely good, but with a walking bundle of trauma, contrasting feelings and self-loathing as Vanitas? It's probably a recipe for a disaster.

So! All in all, I admit I really like this couple. I like the possibilities of self-discovery each of them represents for the other: for Vanitas, to realize that his life isn't fixated by whatever happened in his past and that he can have positive relationships with people, and that he can amend his mistakes and receive forgiveness; for Jeanne, to fully experience positive emotions, and acquire a more balanced view of people and situations if her feelings survive the clash with Vanitas's failings.

... that was, before the disaster that was chapter 50. Jeanne has a very good relationship with Dominique, too; she was worried about her, and is likely investigating her disappearence, especially because Luca called specifically for her when he found out about it.

Remember? The same Dominique Vanitas would be willing to let be killed in order to protect his own memories, and even insulted in front of Noé? If Jeanne arrives on the scene, or finds out what happened, she will be forced to a new, decidedly less positive evaluation of Vanitas.

Misha is really being a wrecking ball on whatever halfway positive relationship his brother has, as if Vanitas himself wasn't enough to mess them up.

Thanks to anyone who bothered to read my ramblings!

#vnc #vanitas no carte #the case study of vanitas #vanitas no shuki #vnc vanitas #vnc meta #vnc analysis #vnc spoilers #vnc jeanne #elia's recaps

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