#hearing people actually use my other names makes me go INSANE ily

[enderwalk]

Hi ran! How are you?

hello anon :D!! im doing alright - im at work rn (shhh don’t tell my boss) but it’s a slow day so far so there’s not much exciting goin on yet :]

#anon my beloved #hearing people actually use my other names makes me go INSANE ily #anon #ask #vwoops

[heauxzenji]

could you do the nsfw alphabet for atsumu please? thank you :)

Aw shit, here we go again...

NSFW Alphabet: Miya Atsumu

gn!reader focused

A/N: She hasn’t written in awhile but you know what I’m proud of it- lol be nice to me or I’ll leave forever jk I won’t but still be nice to me ily 💕 Atsumu is a menace I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Obviously nasty below the cut so if you’re a kid fuck off

𝕬 - 𝕬𝖋𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖊

He’s not the best, but certainly not the worst. He will take care of you, but… only after he takes care of himself first. Usually that just means he needs to take a shower. Once he does, he’s free to supply cuddles until you both fall asleep.

𝕭 - 𝕭𝖔𝖉𝖞 𝕻𝖆𝖗𝖙

He has abs so solid you could make a sharkcoochie board on them. That’s all I’m going to say about that.

𝕮 - 𝕮𝖚𝖒

When Atsumu cums… he cums hard. It’s like having an out of body experience- every nerve cell in his body is firing off as he tenses up, digging his nails into whatever flesh he can grab, and grinding his heels into the surface supporting him. He bites down so hard his teeth grind involuntarily as his face contorts in a strained statuesque vision. One low growl from deep in his chest comes out through gritted teeth as he sputters out mixtures of “that’s it,” and “don’t you dare fucking stop.”

The orgasm face of Atsumu Miya is one of the 7 wonders of the world.

𝕯 - 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕾𝖊𝖈𝖗𝖊𝖙

It’s not a secret per se, but he’s been exposed and clowned for eating ass… so he doesn’t wanna talk about it.

𝕰 - 𝕰𝖝𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖈𝖊

So contrary to popular belief, I don’t think he’s that experienced... he’s just lucky! (Lmaoooo all of his experience is based on like 2 actual people that he maybe got to second base with (he says third but come on we know he’s lying) and then a litany of porn. Poor thing just wants some coochie I AM HERE KING and he has no trouble finding it, he just never seals the deal. He’s someone who just kind of, knows what to do naturally. He’s able to read someone’s body by touch alone, and so he knows what you like right off the bat based on how you react. He might try a couple of things at the start to see what really makes you squirm, but once he’s got it... holy hell has he ever got it.

𝕱 - 𝕱𝖆𝖛𝖔𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖊 𝕻𝖔𝖘𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

I hate to say how easy this was- but I KNOW Atsumu is a guy who prefers doggy. I see him as a hair puller, so this is perfect for him. I also could see him being into mirrors, and this is the perfect position to make you look at what he’s doing to you, especially while he’s pulling your head back by your hair. He especially likes gripping his thumbs into the smalls of your back (he crosses his arms bc saw it in a porn once and he thinks it makes him look cool), and when he’s INTO it, he likes to smack your ass to encourage you.

𝕲 - 𝕲𝖔𝖔𝖋𝖞

Is goofy by accident. Like will sometimes try throwing in something new with his normal dirty talk that completely throws you off. He hates when you laugh at him for it, but you find it endearing.

𝕳 - 𝕳𝖆𝖎𝖗

I’m gonna… say something so controversial yet so bold:

What hair?

And yes I mean that. Smooth. He waxes. Monthly. No hair. (Besides like… legs and armpits… yah he doesn’t touch those) Naked mole rat dick but fuck it he’s Atsumu motherfucking Miya he can do what he wants.

𝕴 - 𝕴𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖒𝖆𝖈𝖞

While he’s not the most... romantic in general per se, he does want to make you feel appreciated. He’s very eager to get his, but he won’t allow himself to unless you have already. It takes restraint, but he cools himself down by having you get on top, or by leaving lingering kisses anywhere he can, saying you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever laid eyes on.

𝕵 - 𝕵𝖆𝖈𝖐 𝕺𝖋𝖋

When he’s away from you he loves to send you videos of himself or FaceTime you. He gets you worked up enough to join him no matter where you are. He just needs to see you, he needs you to see him stroking his cock to the thought of you- he can’t cum without you telling him to.

𝕶 - 𝕶𝖎𝖓𝖐

I have to get this out but I KNOW he’s nasty. I imagine Atsumu as a huge dirty talker and also someone who’s into spitting. Both of those are just clear in my brain... like he would be pundinng you from behind, spit on your back, and then call you a slut all in 3 seconds flat but the way that you would cream? Ugh insanity he needs to be arrested he needs to be stopped

𝕷 - 𝕷𝖔𝖈𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

Since he’s got money now- he’s a big fan of ordering Uber XLs or even just hiring a driver for a night on the town as a flex. But he especially loves telling his driver to put up the window partition while he annihilates you in the backseat. I just think he’s a fan of car sex in general- it just does it for him.

𝕸 - 𝕸𝖔𝖙𝖎𝖛𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

Loves to hear his name. Whether you’re moaning it or screaming it like it’s the only word you know, he’s always going to ask you who you belong to, and the answer is always Atsumu.

𝕹 - 𝕹𝖔!

He totally eats ass. He’s just not gonna tell anyone bc he told Osamu ONCE and now his contact name is ASStumu and he lives in fear of that getting out.

𝕺 - 𝕺𝖗𝖆𝖑

Sloppppppyyyyyy. Loves giving ~slightly~ more than receiving, simply bc he loves the sight of seeing his spit dripping down your thighs while he goes down on you. Loves eye contact when you’re going down on him.

𝕻 - 𝕻𝖆𝖈𝖊

Though I wouldn’t say he’s super experienced, I know he’s relentless. He fucks. Literally just fucks. Not in the sense that he only treats you like a hole bc yikes, but in the sense that he just goes the speeds of fast or faster. There’s no slow with him.

𝕼 - 𝕼𝖚𝖎𝖈𝖐𝖎𝖊

Yeah. Lots of them. Anywhere, anytime. Particularly for him, a lot of them end up being in his car, simply because you’ll be out somewhere and the mood strikes. He’ll quickly take you out to the car for a few minutes, slut you out, and then return to the function like nothing happened. You’ve had many a quickie in a bathroom or closet in a party as well. When he wants you, he wants you, so he’s not afraid to take you.

𝕽 - 𝕽𝖎𝖘𝖐

Not as much of a risk-taker as people think. Mostly because he wants to protect you. He would hate for someone to see you in such a compromising position… but also, you’ve had your fair share of quickies in the bathrooms of various wedding receptions, so he’s lying.

𝕾 - 𝕾𝖙𝖆𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖆

Can last a decent amount of time, if he spreads it out over multiple rounds. I’m general, he can probably go about 2 or 3 rounds without needing a break. More if you draw out foreplay with him. He’s a pleaser, so really how long he lasts is up to you. He’s got the power and control to hold off on is own release until he’s certain you absolutely can’t take anymore.

𝕿 - 𝕿𝖔𝖞

One of those mfs who gets you the mold of his dick as a toy for your birthday for when he’s away because according to him “you’ll be so needy while I’m gone”

I hate him so much but I would use that shit every day he knows what he’s doing I’m so upset

𝖀 - 𝖀𝖓𝖋𝖆𝖎𝖗

Speaking of being needy- he loves to egg you on when you are. He knows all the buttons to push, but he’ll never actually make the move until you’re begging. And of course he loves to turn that around in you, hitting you with that “god, ya just can’t get enough of me, can ya?”

𝖁 - 𝖁𝖔𝖑𝖚𝖒𝖊

He’s more of a talker than a moaner. Not necessarily loud in bed- but very, very vocal. Commanding of you in a good way, and will definitely show his appreciation through praise.

𝖂 - 𝖂𝖎𝖑𝖉𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖉

Actually has a Cosmo subscription bc he likes trying all the strange and obscure sex positions in the articles. Also likes taking the quizzes, and will casually have you do them with him at breakfast.

𝖃 - 𝖃-𝕽𝖆𝖞

he’s a little on the thicker side. Its probably a good 7 inches, so it’s enough to fill you, add in the stretch of his girth and it’s a good, mild burn when he first goes in, but he fills you just enough without it being way too much. He’s a shower, so he doesn’t get much longer, but you have a lot to work with. He also has a cute freckle on his left inner thigh.

𝖄 - 𝖄𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌

His sex drive is on the higher end, but really only when he’s in his off season. When he’s actively playing in games, he tries to curb his appetite a bit because he believes in the superstition that sex messes with players’ stamina on the court.

𝖅 - 𝖅𝖟𝖟

He’s gonna knock out, but not until he showers. He ALWAYS showers after. The water soothes his muscles and by the time he’s done it’s lights out.

Taglist Starseeds (link in nav to join):  @honey-makki @acciobrooms @sen-brainrot @the-3d-sky-sister @minato-hoe @strawberrymakki @prettyforpapiiwa @arixtsukki @freyafolkvangr @milanapolitana @notjasmin​ @keishinsuke

If ur url is bolded, send me a dm! ✨

#haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu hcs #hq headcanons #hq hcs #atsumu smut #atsumu x reader #haikyuu smut #hq smut #daisy’s red light district 🚨

[teresa-moyocoyotzin]

short recap of my thoughts on 5x09

okay so i was gonna rewatch the whole episode and do a blow-by-blow reaction post but i’m not sure i’ll have time and i kinda wanna focus on watching my fave scenes from the show before tonight. also, everyone else’s reaction posts p. much sum up my thoughts lol 

nonetheless, i just wanted to give my main takeaways on the episode a week later, in case anyone cares where i’m at going into the finale! gonna go over the things i liked first, anyone who wants to just remain positive and not see any salty takes might wanna just stick to reading the first part b/c i definitely rant a bit at the end lmao. we’re still having a fun time tho 😂

THINGS I LOVED

- i mean... i think we know LOL

- obviously. i loved james and teresa’s i love you scenes, and kisses, and OOF THAT SEX SCENE. if someone had told me we were gonna get that scene back in like 2017??? i probably would have started literally floating. i totally respect that people had very specific ideas of what they wanted out of those scenes and could have different feelings about it but NOT ME BABES I AM ECSTATIC!!! i did go into the episode with a ~feeling~ that we were gonna get at least one ILY in the episode, and i just had a feeling it would be james, or at least that he would say it first. i’ve already explained in my meta about the scenes why i think it makes sense that he said it first and why i love it that he did, so i won’t go into that here. but i went in having really no expectations for it other than that it was gonna happen! i was debating about whether it would happen really casually while they’re talking, or in like a big action scene, or really dramatic or what, and what i would prefer, and i came to the conclusion that i would love it no matter what lol, but i was really into the idea of james just. fucking. saying it. while they’re just talking about something really casually. so therefore i was pretty happy with it when we got sort of a mix! they’re talking about teresa’s insane death trap of a plan so there’s that drama of “i don’t want to lose you esp. not before saying ILY” kinda thing, but it’s also just. so simple and sure! and then teresa’s i love you is like the perfect scene for me where one character is super focused on something else (in this case, trying to protect the woman he loves! agh!) and the other is just like.. i love you!!!! SO GOOD

- let’s see, what the hell else happened in this ep?

- oh okay i really liked james and teresa’s vibes this episode, they were so focused on each other and had this very ride-or-die feeling about them like they knew that each of their plans was increasingly stupid and desperate and might not even get them where they wanna go, but they were IN IT TOGETHER no matter what 😭i wish we had gotten a callback to that line but at this point, i’m p. sure they Know they’re in it together, and we do too. so it’s okay. i love that teresa still asks his input and considers his opinions even if she does her own thing anyways haha 

- oh on that note, i LOVED the moment where their plans to kill Kostya aren’t working and Teresa says something like “If I can meet with him in person, I can kill him myself” and James just has this LOOK that just is the epitome of the “I am in love with a women who is DESIGNED TO STRESS ME OUT” meme lol, it made me giggle, v classic QOTS moment 

- oh and of course, I LOVED that scene with devon and james at the end!!!!!!!! i was also confused about how james was showing all his emotions in that scene esp. since he tries to be stoic about his feelings for Teresa around Devon, but now that i’ve read a few people’s thoughts about, it i’m fully on board w the theory that james and teresa already knew this was coming, b/c they’re smart, and b/c james knows devon wouldn’t have let him walk away to save Teresa at the beginning of the season without motivation (like having him in place to kill her when she’s no longer useful to the CIA) and THEREFORE james was sort of “overacting” to make it believable to devon (and the audience lol) that he didn’t know this was coming, didn’t want to do it, but felt like he had to, rather than the fact that they were already plotting a fake death. that makes a lot of sense to me and makes me really love all the layers to that scene. it does give me a little bit of hope that the finale ~teresa’s not really dead~ reveal will be at least a little well executed and not just shoved in at the very end. we shall see though! 

- alright i think that’s what i loved about the episode, if u don’t wanna hear me bitching about the little things then u should probably stop here!! just have to get out some of my saltiness lol 

THINGS I WAS ANNOYED ABOUT

- i’m just gonna get it out of the way, yes, i too was supremely annoyed at the amount of KA and Pote take suburbia; it was all 1000% predictable down to the raccoon and the cookies, and the point could have been accomplished in exactly 1 scene, maybe 2, certainly not like 10 or however many we got. whatever. ugh. 

- okay. OKAY. chicho. we need to talk about chicho. i for one, am not mad that he called pote, my boy was stressed. I AM HOWEVER, mad at the writers for making pote come back after saying he trusted chicho to take care of teresa now. like. it totally devalued THE WHOLE THING!! imo, pote shoulda stayed his ass at home where we had to watch him settle all episode, and chicho should have gotten THE HERO MOMENT HE DESERVED (esp. cuz he’s on first name basis w teresa now??) which ALSO WOULD HAVE MADE THE SCENE WHERE TERESA GIVES CHICHO THE DISTILLERY AND THE BAR SO! MUCH! MORE! MEANINGFUL!!!!! or just made it make sense at all? like .... i’m just so confused by that whole plotline like what was the point? chicho does nothing but call pote and gets T’s whole legacy in NOLA? 

- and don’t even get me started on how it makes ZERO sense that pote would have had to charge in at the last minute to save teresa when JAMES THE SNIPER W AMAZING AIM WHO IS LITERALLY. IN LOVE WITH HER. is standing outside like. ur telling me james and chicho (who again, is supposed to be her #2 after james now) just stood there like “oh hey pote yeah you go ahead we’ll wait here good luck” like WHAT also.. how did pote get past all the guards that made james stay outside? are we meant to believe pote is that sneaky? y’all. it just. doesn’t make sense. this whole plot situation maddens me more than anythings tbh UGH JUST MAKE IT MAKE SENSE 

- oksana’s daughter..... what’s her name again? idk b/c we only MET HER THIS WEEK....okay this amuses me but i’m also annoyed b/c like. there were so many other women who could have taken that spot in the opening sequence... Lil T, Castel, hell even Isabela??? Like idk how they could have done it but they put so much effort into her plot in the first seasons that i really thought she was gonna end up w/ Teresa in the end.. idk that would have been kind cool, Camila’s two “daughters” eventually working their way out of the life together..again idk how they could have realistically done it but i really do wish it had been someone we met before. if it had to be someone new this season, they could have introduced her earlier instead of one of the seemingly dozens of random guys we knew for 1 episode before they died... like.. give her some depth please. is she even gonna be in the finale? honestly she better be after making us listen to pote welcome her into the family... like the family u were supposed to leave so u could have an actual baby pote? the family that’s literally dispersing as we speak? also.. since when did pote love oksana so much anyways? also...... just.. if teresa’s gonna have some sort of daughter figure or whatever she’s supposed to be, wouldn’t it make sense to have her be the one to give the big welcome to the family speech? idk y’all..... i’m amused but also baffled at the sheer lack of planning behind this. did no one realize they needed someone for the opening scene until like. halfway thru the season? did they plan to have it be castel but they couldn’t get her for filming (hence all the weird castel plots?) INQUIRING MINDS WOULD LIKE TO KNOW. it’s whatever tho lol 

- i just hope that what’s-her-name gets a lil bit of plot in the finale esp. since otherwise it might just be pote running around being pissy (i don’t actually think that haha but i am a lil nervous that teresa won’t come back until the last few mins and i’ll have to spend all episode looking at boaz and devon and pote and KA.. i haven’t looked at any spoilers tho so i’m still hopeful! i will probably make a post about my hopes going into the finale a lil later, both realistic and unrealistic :) 

#ik it's all been said before but i just had to get my feelings out before i could move on to the finale #the finale!!! wow.. crazy shit y'all #qots #queen of the south #jeresa #qots 5x09

[aitarose]

hi! i’ve been so inactive lately and wanted to post something today, and i realized i haven’t made an appreciation post for my moots in a hot minute—so hey hotties, here’s some cute words about uu. oh and this isn’t all of my mutuals, just the one’s i’ve spoken to outside of the discord lol asjfdkl

@hesthermay —❥ you’re one of my best friends and ilysm and i hope that we get to meet in person one day, so you can endlessly hear me talk about how much i love jimmy woo. also i want to get matching marvel bracelets or smth, gonna look on etsy later for us ajskdlf

@probablydisgusting —❥ you’re like actually so funny and sweet, whenever you pop in the gc on snap just to say goodmorning or goodnight—it really makes everyone’s day and we love having you around. plus, you were one of the first people to pop into my inbox when i was an atla blog and i think that’s so nice.

@imarizaki —❥ i literaly love you sm mari, like you’re adorable and i want to give you a hug, i feel like you give rlly good hugs. and congrats on 400!! you deserve it and i hope 500 comes rolling around fast so you can hit another milestone in the near future ajskfdl

@tsukishumai —❥ cam i swear i know your name like I SWEAR I DO! you’re like an older sister to everyone in the discord and you bring such a comforting presence like it’s so nice to have you in the chat whenever you choose to pop in. you’re quite literally the calm to our insanity

@fukurodianthus —❥ dani you’re asleep rn but when you wake up and see this i want you do know that ily wifey. pls i love it when you harass me in my inbox, i think it’s so funny AND IM GOING TO FLOOD YOUR’S EVENTUALLY I JUST NEED TO BECOME ACTIVE AGAIN ASDJKL

@missmorosis —❥ you’re literally one of my favorite moots ever and you’re always so sweet to me and everyone else around you, it’s so heartwarming to see your positivity and happiness on tumblr and how hard you work! pls ilysm

@ray-ofmoonlight —❥ I LOVE TALKING TO YOU ABOUT THE BACHELOR. i haven’t responded in a hot minute, but dw i’ll answer in a bit i have to go through my messages jaksfld. you’re so nice and fun, and literally the sweetest ever

@diorzumi​ —❥ hi rheya! i’m so glad you took the time and all that hard work to make the server, like that’s insane and i still can’t believe you did all of that. pls the amount of effort you put into keeping it up is so evident and amazing!! also ur rlly pretty, like RLLY pretty

@luvoikawa​ —❥ gigi!! my face literally lights up whenever i see you in my notifs or on my dash pls. i love your energy sm and the presence you bring to the discord. like idk, you just seem really cool to me, does that make sense? like you have cool girl energy.

@sugas-cookie​ —❥ hello rissie. you should be sleeping rn, but ily and you’re my favorite and only child, and no matter what i say i would never bring you back to the ditch. but like...the frogs? i fucking hate the frogs, abolish all frogs they make me physically cringe i cannot.

@kei7ime​ —❥ CHLOEEE!! every time i see your theme i feel so satisfied, like it’s so pretty it rlly is. you’re so fun and i love talking to you or just popping in your inbox to say hi. omg hi chloe!! ok ok ily

@pxnk-velvet​ —❥ angie your drawing of us are so cute and i love them sm, and i can’t wait to read the story that you’ve been writing of our gc as a volleyball team, like pls i’m so excited. also the line “just shut up already, angie” lives in my head rent free

@miyalove​ —❥ hi dylan! i haven’t popped in your inbox in a while but i just wanted to tell you that i love u and you’re so nice and sweet and ilysm. you give off hot girl energy dylan, like for real, you rlly do.

@iwaizoom​ —❥ HI JADE. you’re so nice and your blog is so pretty, like the light green jaskljl PLS ITS SO PRETTY. i love the vibes you give off like you’re so chill and so easy to talk to sjakljdkl pls ilysm

@kageyuji​ —❥ lore i love you. like i love you. every time i talk to you i just feel happy like idk it’s this overwhelming feeling, you just have this gift where people feel comfortable when they’re talking to you. and your blog is so pretty pls asdjl

@hikariakaashi​ —❥ you’re one of my favorite moots, firstly bc of our interactions on tumblr in the early days of the discord and now on snap too. you have rlly good style, like rlly good style—and whenever you do your voice asks, your voice is like rlly pretty! girl you have a rlly pretty voice!

@ceci-chan​ —❥ hi twinnie! pls i think it’s so funny that we have literally the exact same nose, that’s actually wild. it’s so fun to watch your blog grow and your events are so cute and ily

@nekomabvc​ —❥ i buried you in here so you’d have to search for your part. literally going to say nothing i’m tired of writing about you goodbye. you called me a whore this morning. that’s not very swag of you, i’m going to report you to mab and cancel you on corpse tumblr.

@bellesowl​ —❥ hi isa! we haven’t interacted all that much, but in the times we have you’ve been so kind. and you’re rlly pretty, just sayin. you’re blog is also super aesthetic and i literally live for it, pls the muted tones are everything ajsdlk

@gellysticks​ —❥ angela pls you’re actually so funny like you’re so funny. every time your tiktoks come up in my suggested they literally make me laugh pls—but the frogs are terrible. abort frogs. this is a frog slandering blog. me and all my homies HATE frogs.

@cafemiya​ —❥ issy you give off such hot girl energy (and you are a hot girl anyways) and your energy is so contagious, like idk how it just is. you bring this positivity to the discord just by being there and i know everyone is so thankful that you’re so interactive with us jaskfdl

@biqherosix​ —❥ DANIZA I HAVEN’T OPENED YOUR SNAP YET BUT I RLLY WANT TO HEAR YOUR BAND PLAY. pls that’s literally so cool, like i wish i was in a cool band with my friends jsakdljkl. i love talking to you and we’ve been friends for like a good three months now which is crazy

@velvetfireworks​ —❥ rach i literally never read fics but yours are so good and they live in my head rent free. PLS THE SAKUSA ONE FOR THE BROKEN HEARTS CLUB AUDHS. you’re so nice and so talented and i reread your masterlist OMG I JUST REMEMBERED THE MOB AU ONE THAT ONE IS PERFECTION.

@hajiswife​ —❥ hi gabbie! your blog is gorgeous and your so nice pls!! like i literally can’t believe we’re mutuals it hits me like a brick. i love your works and your energy sjaklfdjl i’ll probably be popping in your inbox later just to say hi lol

@svgashi​ —❥ NIKE!!! omg we’re literally sister wives. you’re the first moot i had on tumblr that understood how great sugawara is and it’s like a breath of fresh air from the constant slandering my friends give him. ILY

@sexy-bee-juice​ —❥ aja!! i love getting your messages and just saying the most out of pocket things with you, and your reblogs make me laugh so hard like you’re rlly funny. also my broken french is terrible but i’m glad it makes you laugh ajskfdl

@koutarousangel​ —❥ MICKEY PLS YOURE SO FUNNY. I LOVE YOUR VIBES AND EVERYTHING LIKE YOURE FUNNY. and ily too. just putting that in there in case i haven’t said it in a while <3

@hvnlydmn​ —❥ hi ains! congrats on 5k!! that’s literally so insane like omg you must be reeling rn jadskfl you really really deserve it tho, everyone sees how hard you work and how much content you produce in such a short amount of time CONGRATS ILY

@akaashi-bby​ —❥ victoria you were the first person i talked to teen wolf with in like three years pls. i’m listening to a song from the show atm and it’s making me sad but ilysm and i love talking to you about literally anything

@laineywritesstuff​ —❥ LAINE!! hi! you’re so pretty like you look like you give the warmest hugs and i feel like if i ever met you in person i’d just get engulfed does that make sense? you’re so nice and ilysm and i hope you’re have a fantastic day!

@kiyoalex​ —❥ you’re rlly funny. like rlly funny. and i feel like we match each other’s energy pretty well in pms. pls my insanity is too real back there BUT IT’S OK I THINK BC YOU SEEM TO UNDERSTAND IT LOL ILY

@shoutamajiki​ —❥ hi nana!! you’re so nice and i’m so glad you joined the discord! and i’m so sorry i added you to my terrible private story on snap pls it’s so bad i’m very very sorry about that jksalfjdl

@sunacity​ —❥ nea i love your works so much like literally they LIVE in my head. you’re so talented and i can’t believe we’re mutuals that’s literally insane bc i love your stuff pls. and on top of being talented you’re so nice, like the nicest jaskdflj i can’t

ok ok i think that’s it for now, this isn’t all of my mutuals—but it’s the one’s i interact with the most and if we are moots and i didn’t include you pls my inbox or pms are always open to just like go insane in. ok have a great rest of your day!!

#2021:appreciation

[merlinssaggyyfronts]

BBC Merlin Rewatch:

01x01: The Dragon’s Call

—

FIRSTLY THE FUCKING DESCRIPTION LMAO “Merlin, a young country boy” COUNTRY BOY AHAHDHSNDH IF ONLY YOU KNEW!!! ITS LIKE SETTING SOMEONE UP FOR DISASTER BUT THEN AGAIN THEY WERE SO LIKE I MEAN-

aw look at merlin all happy and smily, walking into camelot like he isnt going to witness the death of his best friend/king and basically everyone he loves

LOOK AT HIM HES SO HAPPY!!! HE DOESNT KNOW YET

“like everyone, he must live and learn” yo shut ur bitchass up lizard man u literally tried to murder everyone in camelot that one time

“his name: traumatised 😍😍”

AH YES THE OPENING!!1!1!-!-! AHHH THE AMOUNT OF HAPPINESS I FEEL HEARING THE OPENING

fuck ur bitchass uther no one likes u

“i pride myself as a fair and just king” sir didnt u like basically kill ur wife... and thousands of peo- OH MY GOD MORGANA BB ILY

oh jesus okay hes dead um chile-

“when i came to this land” wait i thought he was raised kn camelot brb i forgot im an idiot wait,,, does this mean before this it was the du bois family on the throne of camelot?? also, mired in chaos? u mean like.... before ur wife died and everyone was living peacefully? ....okay

“merlin, seeing a person who's been stated had been studying magic get beheaded: [a magical being himself] ah,, welcoming.” -my gf

“since the great dragon was captured” ....so did no one think about where they put a dragon?? a captured one at that. ud think he’d be more smart but nah he just left a random ass dragon under his castle like THAT is going to end well

YUHH MARY COLLJNS HATE HIM!!! YELL BABEY YELL!!! “you took my son!” YES MURDER HIM OMG I CAN FEEL HER PAIN

“a son for a son!” omg why couldnt u have killed uther bb ur the perfect villain i love u ur literally just a loving mother i-

OOOOO GAIUS

.....why is there a bunny mask in there

why is thERE A BUNNY MASK-

why didnt merlins eyes glow when he dragged the bed to gaius to save him

also whats this slomo magic why didnt he do this after this why did season one haveso much magic and like every other season was just everyone throwing it back

like i get instinctual magic but like.... if its instinctual wouldnt it happen more especially when his powers get stronger-

gaius: what did you just do?!

also gaius, five seconds later: i know what it was!! i just wanted to know where you learned it

merlin: 😐

merlin, about his magic: i was born like this

gaius, who knows full well warlocks exist: impossible!

(are warlocks naturally born knowing how to use magic without learning? i mean if u have to learn magic like a sorcerer then whats the difference between a warlock and a sorcerer cuz wouldnt sorcerers atleast have to have some magic in them to actually cast spells? am i dumb or do i just not get it)

wait so merlin arrived in camelot on a wednesday

merlin, walking into camelot: it is wednesday my dudes

merlin: [witnesses an execution] aaaAAAAAA-

“someone that might help him find a purpose of his gifts” oh honey he’ll get something mUCH LARGER THAN THAT-

—

oH MORGANA

SHUT UR BITCHASS UTHER SHE WILL KILL YOU-

“the more brutal you are, the more enemies you’ll create” oh the waY SHE PREDICTED THEIR FUTURE OO

ah bless u lady helen/mary collins we love them spicy villains

...why do you have a dressing table in a tent

[watches mary collins murder lady helen] i never snitch on dadd- ...someone pls delete me

merlin, about his instinctual magic: i just do it!

gaius: ...lord have mercy what did i just sign myself up to

what ever happened to sir olwen did he die from accidentally overdosing

—

oHHH THERE HE IS THERE HE IS THERES MY BOY!!! MY LIL PRAT MAN!!!!

merlin looks so offended, oh god i could watch this whole scene for HOURS

oooOOOO YES MERLIN FUCK HIM UP!!! SHOW HIM WHOS BOSS

“do i know you?” “im merlin” “so i dont know you” ugh theres already sexual tension

“i would never have a friend who could be such an ass” “or i one so stupid”

also them, ten years later: “i use my magic for you arthur, only you” “just hold me” “i cant lose him! hes my friend!” “thank you..”

“tell me merlin, do you know how to walk on your knees?” OOOOH THE BOYS ARE FLIRTING

NOT THE “would you like me to help you?” SIR YOU ARE FLIRTING SO INTENSELY AND DONT EVEN REALISE IT SIR DO YOU KNOW YOURE FALLING IN LOVE

im convinced atleast half the knights with arthur were like “ayo thas kinda sus bro 😳😳 ayo 😳😳”

arthur: tell me merlin, do you know how to walk on your knees? would you like me to help you?

merlin: ....i really dont know how to answer that

imagine being paid to throw fruits at colin morgan omg id be so thrilled

OOOH HERE COMES OUR QUEEN GWEN!!! MY LOVE MY EVERYTHING YES ILY

gwen: well, arthur looks like one of those, save the world kinda men... and you dont

merlin, 1500 years later, having failed his destiny: well i mean you’re not wrong

—

gaius: uther banned magic a long time ago

merlin, flabbergasted as if he wasnt raised on tales of the death of his kind every day in the kingdom right next to his: why?!?!?

gaius: the dragon is imprisoned where nobody can free him

merlin:

(that is the face of someone knowing full well hes going to free that dragon. look at him. he’s already made up his mind.)

—

[sees merlin and arthur in the marketplace] oh heres he is again heres the lil bitxh ooo theyre about to FIGHT

god hes flirting so hard without even realising it, oh my god

“i could take you apart with one blow” “i could take you apart with less” um sirs this is a mcdonalds drive thru 😃

arthur: ahah, you’re in trouble now~ 😏😏

i had to pause cuz wHAT THE HELL WHY DOES HE SOUND LIKE THAT-

—

....yall are yelling very loudly, um, arent there guards near yall? people passing by? please relax

“im just a nobody, and i always will be” OH IF ONLY YOU KNEWWW

“if i cant use magic, i might as well die” ....well, ive got a surprise for you-

“maybe theres someone with more magic than me?” like... a whole dragon? i mean if you say so 👀

merlin about why he was born like this: if you cant tell me, no one can!

a fucking dragon, basically every magical creature and the druids: WELL-

the camelot guards are so stupid how the hell is this kingdom still standing

how does kilgharrah know merlins name? in prophecy hes known as emrys (and we see basically every magical being call him emrys and not merlin,, i think). so how does he know? did he stretch his neck long enough that he could somehow hear merlin? is it cuz theyre kin? is it cuz merlin and gaius were yelling so loudly that kilgharrah could hear them all the way in his cave? ig we’ll never know 🖐

merlin: where are you?!

kilgharrah:

kilgharrah: without you, arthur will never succeed.

merlin: ....oh look, im already paranoid

the amount of sadness i feel hearing kilgharrah say “none of us can choose our destiny, merlin. and none of us can escape it” is INSANE cuz in season one you can SEE merlin trying to escape it. hes doing his damned best trying to have some control over his life. and then in later seasons you can see the light slowly drain from his eyes as he becomes just another toy for the gods to be entertained by. he realises he cant control a single thing about his life so he does the one thing he can: protect arthur. and he loses SO MUCH because of it! its not fair, he deserved so much, and when he finally got everything he could ever ask for, it was taken away from him by his own mistakes.

arthur, seeing morgana in a beautiful dress: god have mercy 😍

uther: .....um

the way they set arthur and morgana up as if they arent gonna make them siblings i- what the fawk 😄

person A, who knows arthurian lore: oh no! arthur is going to have an affair with morgan(a) and have mordred! oh no!!

person B, whos seen merlin: oh no in this show its worse

person B, knowing full well theyre siblings: much worse....

gwen: who’d wanna marry arthur? 🙄

-

gwen, getting crowned queen of camelot: well fuck

hhhnghnh yes queen sing them to sleep yes murder his bitchass (and fail but like its the thought that counts)

on a sidenote tho this is such a fun way to murder someone, id try this

the absolutely OFFENDED “FATHER!” and the horrified look in arthurs eyss when uther announced merlin would be his manservant is PRICELESS OMG

oh the way uther unintentionally plants the first seed of his sons love story omg 😍😍

Conclusion: this episode is a 10/10 greatest episode with so many iconic scenes omg. mary collins u will forever have my heart for unintentionally kickstarting merlin and arthurs relationship destiny. i loved the whole thing and oh GOD does it already hurt knowing full well how the show ends

#this was a RIDE #eli’s merlin rewatch #yes i have to say everything that happens in the episode pls leave me alone #01x01: the dragon’s call #merlin #arthur pendragon #uther pendragon #morgana le fay #morgana pendragon #guinevere #guinevere pendragon #gwen #gaius #kilgharrah #lady helen #mary collins #bbc merlin

[ocheeva]

interview tag uwu

rules: answer the questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better!

tagged by @queensbrother even though it’s been A DECADE cass how can u possibly need to get to know me better ily

- nickname: no people just. use my name. except @mishikaiya sometimes. her latest for me is chickadee which is literally the cutest but will it ever be a thing outside the bird trio? doubtful.

- pronouns: she/her

- star sign: probably yeah

- height: 167 cm. i don’t do american numbers.

- time currently: 23:49

- when is your birthday: at some point during the year. this is hidden lore only my mum knows bc she was there (presumably)

- favorite bands/groups: see this is why i’m the worst at this kind of thing because there are always these questions and i. don’t do music. generally. like i have made spotify playlists and shit i just sit down to listen to music approximately three times a year so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

- favorite solo artists: well...

- song stuck in your head: this is getting awkward

- last movie watched: wait hold on i need to cry for a second over cass’ last movie being fatal journey... god that fucked me up. nie brothers my beloved. anyway it was I Am Mother. it was okay.

- last show you binged: new girl for the third? fourth? time. i live alone and don’t really have conversations at my job so i keep sitcoms on in the background so i get to hear human voices! yes i’m very emotionally stable how did you know. last show i binged and actually paid attention to was word of honor.

- when you created your blog: this one? 2013. my first one was made in 2009

- last thing you googled: something about han dynasty art because fic research lmao  

- other blogs:  i only actively maintain @qinghe-s atm but i also have @masseffectcaps and a few other fandom sideblogs like @celestecraft which used to be hot shit on mineblr. others are only shared with people i love.

- why you chose your url: the first time i played the elder scrolls iv: oblivion i fell in love w ocheeva SO FAST and she’s still my favourite. i don’t have an argonian kink but if i did it would be because of her. she's sweet and caring AND she’s a skilled assassin?? get you a girl who can do both, damn

- do you get asks: no bc the messaging system exists. my fandom blogs get them on occasion although people favour the messaging system there too

- how many people are you following: 257

- how many followers do you have: like a thousand. my most popular blog has 10k which is insane quite frankly. 

- average hours of sleep: i legitimately do not have an average, it’s either like four or at least twelve

- lucky number: not... really. i like multiples of five bc i have ocd and other numbers are generally uncomfortable. i don’t mind seven fsr (but only as a singular digit. idk, my brain does Not make sense)

- instruments: i played the flute as a kid but i assure you i am the least musical person you’ve ever met

- what I’m currently wearing: black leggings, black top, black sweater. my socks are pink though! fashun

- dream job: i simply do not dream of labour. i enjoy teaching to an extent and working for bethesda would be sick i guess but

- dream trip: svalbard. i’ve wanted to visit china for years (i had a layover at a chinese airport when i went to visit cass in straya and part of me was like YES finally! but it was also miserable bc worst flight of my liiiiife god). legitimate actual dream trip though? a couple of weeks alone in venice. i’ve been once but it was a school trip when i studied architecture in high school (like you do in waldorf schools! pretentious as hell) so my classmates ruined the vibe. i snuck away a lot and made my teacher angry when no one knew where i was but it was worth it. i constantly think about going back and spending hours in the narrow alleys and beautiful churches and sitting outside palazzo ducale and being moved to literal tears over the architecture. ugh.

- favorite food: lamb steak w garlic cloves... also cheese. all the cheese. any kind of cheese.

- favorite song: i thought we went over this

- top three fictional universes you’d like to live in: okay first of all animal crossing OBVIOUSLY. gotta marry tom nook. second... god. star trek because while i will absolutely shit-talk starfleet any day of the week the star trek universe is superior to any other because it has JANEWAY. and also space. and alien ladies. but mainly janeway. i would put so much effort into joining starfleet and being good at my job so i could maybe serve on the same ship as her and make quiet heart eyes if we crossed each other in the corridors. EDIT: lol i got so wrapped up in star trek i forgot about a third huh! obviously i’d want to live in dream valley with the little ponies. the original ponies. i’d hang out with wind whistler and tell her i love her all the time, especially when she uses words the other ponies don’t understand. autistic queen, love of my life, etc. bonus fourth: mass effect. space. biotics! possibly a buff asari girlfriend... or the krogan romance bioware continues to deny me

TAGGING: jesus. okay you know what. i’m picking five people who show up in my notes fairly regularly because we should be friends. so: @filantestar @sidhe-solais @briars-glenn @sarahstreep7 @roddaprime ♡

#i'm doing this instead of writing the fic i've talked myself into finishing by friday #i will not finish by friday #because i keep doing other things #i DID spend an hour reading about and looking at paintings from the han dynasty so that's. related at least #but does it make me make progress? absolutely not #anyway #your girl

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issue 28

catch me completely ignoring dark cybertron lmao

yeahhhh so I'm just gonna skip dark cybertron bc no thanks. I did read the tf wiki articles for the issues tho, which is more than I did in the past, so at least now I kinda know what happened, though I had to suffer thru reading about dark cybertron to learn stuff about it. yikes. reading ABOUT dark cybertron further enforced my decision to not actually read thru it

anyways. the best part of dark cybertron was when chromedome threw prowl off that cliff. that was baller lmfao

a 1 page recap of dark cybertron is about all I can handle. thank you

ooh, the 6 months later smash-cut, I fucking love itttt

nautica’s here!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so happy I love her. also brainstorm, and I love their friendship sm

hvbjdkhfbshdfj god I love them. they have such a fun dynamic 

everyone eavesdropping on a therapy session vhbhdjkhafbhkjsdf. hipaa laws mean nothing as usual 

the casual reveal of captain megatron, oh god 

the title fucking slaps, as usual. this is one of my favorites - ‘world, shut your mouth.’ great stuff, and a song title/reference to boot! and this being part 1: towards peace...chefs kiss

and then we flash back to 6 months earlier...yknow now that I'm rereading this, mtmte has a LOT of framing devices used - there's story-within-a-story, flashback/flash-forwards, storytelling with narration, etc...I love it

god hbvhjakdfbshjkdf rodimus saying ‘magic’ and then the little *magic = science rodimus doesn't understand HBGKJHSDBFKHJSDF my idiot boy ily

rodimus roasting prowl is my fav hbfjdkafshsbjkf ‘maybe the knights can help us find a cure for your personality’ ily sm

and then prowl agreeing w/rodimus a few panels later about megatron’s guilt...

optimus...don't you think that making yourself chief of justice is...maybe a bad idea...like, maybe there's a conflict of interests here...just a little bit of bias...a bit too much history, perhaps...

the fact that all the big roles in the trial were given to high-ranking autobots who were heavily involved in the war...I see that cybertrons justice system is as much of a farce as their medical ethics and patient confidentiality laws 

the ‘you BROKE the MATRIX’ panel is so good bjhkdhfbajskhdf

rodimus: LISTEN dad I just wanna resume my space cruise with my frat bro ship I have no interest in politics

psychiatrists HATE him! local former warlord refuses to recognize the validity of psychological analyzation of people’s actions

ravage casually breaking hipaa laws and chilling in megatron’s therapy session like >:3

I love rung...he’s so good at like, passive-aggressively cutting right to the heart of someone’s issues, and he’s so generally mild that you can’t even really get mad at him 

the sudden inclusion of megatron as a major character in mtmte is kinda jarring at first - mostly, for me at least, due in part because I didn't read dark cybertron so this is like, megatron’s introduction as a relevant character in general - but I feel like jro does a great job laying a lot of intrigue down from the very beginning w/his character - like, I already want to know more about what his whole deal is, even though we have, ostensibly, seen pretty much all of his story play out already 

rung name-dropping froid...i remember that made me lose my shit bc cmon. FROID....jesus christ

rung and megatron: holy shit! we’re suddenly being drawn in a 90s-esque sci-fi tron-looking retro-futuristic style!

interesting that megatron sought rung out, and not the other way around

RIPTIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my favorite sharkboy is HERE

CREWDITIONS...YES....

‘we’re not allowed to take anyone who might remind rodimus of prowl’ vhbhjdkshfbhaskfd brutal

I love nautica so so much. a perfect autistic scientist after my own heart

I adore that nautica brought chromia along for moral support

hgvbjdakhfbhsj and then swerve saying that rodimus hates ‘trisyllabic names’ and nautica is like....but....‘rodimus’.....

and then nightbeat busts in to get all bbc sherlock on they asses hgbfhjadkfbjaskdf

WHY was perceptor at the crewditions if he was already part of the crew lmao

ooof, and then we have megatron flipping out when chromedome, a mnemosurgeon, shows up

also damn the autobots were rlly like okay so we wanna speed this trial up so lets just like, probe megatrons brain, that seems completely ethical, especially when you consider the history of shadowplay and stuff that our previous government had

I know important stuff is happening but megatron is holding a CUBE and I love CUBES so I'm distracted by that. C U B E

and then right after a scene where we see chromedome willing to perform mnemosurgery again - despite rewind’s like, dying wish for him not to - we hear that he’s been locked up in his room rewatching rewinds goodbye message over and over again :( I'm fucking depressed

I love nightbeat, he’s so funny and kind of an asshole

and then you see more missing letters behind them next panel...clearly nightbeat is right and there’s a mystery afoot...OR somebody is fucking with the ship’s lettering as a prank, which is a plot point I would absolutely buy

yeahhhh skids is right, chromedome is clearly Not dealing 

the dramatic graffiti on megatrons door...I wanna know who spray-painted ‘die’ everywhere like they're reaper overwatch

oh god. whirl vs megatron

really cool red lighting tho

GOD its so brutal, all the stuff megatron said about how he told the cons not to kill whirl...and doesn't that end up being false anyways? so he was just saying it to dig at whirl, which is awful

also I'm never over the fact that literally everyone - including megatron and whirl - blames whirl for ‘turning megatron violent,’ as if the entire Point isn't that whirl was a tool for a corrupt system, and if it wasn't whirl it would've just been someone else, and megatron turning away from pacifism was inevitable given the circumstances, AND also a choice on his part, so he really only has himself to blame for his OWN ACTIONS

bye bye whirls right arm, see you in lost light 

‘people never stop changing’ that IS something I say all the time...damn you warlord grandpa! how can you steal my philosophies?!

ohhh man and then rewind’s goodbye message being different....oooh

AUGH the fact that whirl was basically trying to goad megatron into killing him, just like he did in issue 1 w/cyclonus...It Hurts Man

also I do love the hint at who he’s talking to w/whirl shooting megatron with the bow and arrow earlier, and we know that atomizer is a fan of those

ok, but here’s where my philosophy diverges - megatron talks about throwing away his past and starting new, but I think that you have to learn from and build on your past...either way, megatron’s arc is one that I enjoy greatly from a character writing standpoint, and I'm excited to get it underway, especially w/how controversial it is lmao

big ole double-page spread...I like how you can pick out individual characters in the background crowd, which is crazy cause that's a LOT of people. also how come cosmos is so HUGE

phewwww 4.6 billion cybertronians died in the war, that’s INSANE. that's like, an incomprehensibly huge number. is there an estimate for their current population? I bet its not a lot. no wonder jro leaned into reproductive themes so much in mtmte/ll - of course the continuation of your species would be a concern for many if your numbers have been that greatly reduced

optimus w/his fancy tyrest-lookin crown

oughdajbfsbdf and the fact that megatron ALSO murdered 100 BILLION non-cybertronians...bruh. I feel like they maybe should've dialed those numbers back a little to allow his ‘redemption arc’ to run a little smoother lmao. but also I admire the commitment either way

and then we end w/megatron doing captain stuff, and seeing The Coffin...and we never did see rodimus in any of the flash-forward parts of this issue, did we???? I love how concerning that is. where's my BOY

also of course we gotta remember the warning from way back at the beginning of mtmte: ‘don't open the coffin’....

and so begins mtmte s2! man I love s2. I love mtmte in general lmao. s2 takes on the impossible w/the whole ‘megatron redemption arc’ thing, and I know that’s like, a divisive plot point and stuff, but from a writing standpoint I enjoyed it a lot...I think it was pretty much as well done as it could've been given the enormity of the task, and I thought it was a really interesting direction for the story to go in 

also espec if it’s true that hasbro was like ‘hey jro put megatron in your story and give him a redemption arc’ rather than jro like, planning/asking to do it 

anyways. I doubt ill talk much abt the disc horse(tm) here bc this is just for fun and also my own personal opinions and whatever, but I for one am excited to reexperience this stuff 

so yeah s2 off to a strong start with some wild shit already happening! cant wait to read more!

#lj rereads mtmte

[benhardyisdaddy]

lovesick

MASTERLIST 

(hope u all like this angsty fic for #4!!! also: i DO NOT CONDONE CHEATING. EVER. I ONLY WRITE IT BECAUSE SOMEONE HAS SUBMITTED AND ITS FOR PURE ENTERTAINMENT. DONT FUCKING CHEAT!!!!    ok ty ily also this dumb ass site wont let me add the gif i wanna use of ben and im PISSED) 

Word Count: 2,111

WARNING: slight smut and cheating 

Ben had woken up that morning with no idea what was about to happen. He woke up to his alarm like normal. He showered like normal. He got dressed like normal. He went to the set of his movie like normal. He met everyone like... not normal. There was someone else there today that he almost recognized, but couldn’t understand where he had seen you before. You look familiar, but the type of familiar where he may have passed you on the road once or seen you at the local pub. He just couldn’t quite put his finger on it... That is until you were introduced. 

“Boys,” starts Roger as they all gather around in their costumes for the movie. 

You were beautiful. Beyond beautiful. The type of beautiful that had Ben staring at you a little too long. You were also young, around his age perhaps. You had the sweetest smile as you look to Ben and stare for a moment before looking away almost hurriedly. Like you had been caught doing something you weren’t supposed to be doing. His heart fluttered as he looks back to Roger and pays attention. 

“I would like you all to meet y/n... My beautiful wife.” he says with a proud smile as you blush and softly wave to everyone. 

“Nice to meet you all.” you say, your voice like music to Ben’s ears. 

Everyone walked up to you and shook your hand until it was Ben’s turn. He walks up slowly, his eyes never leaving you. 

“Nice to meet you, y/n.” 

You shyly smile back and reach your hand out for him to take. 

“Nice to meet you as well, Ben. I’ve heard a lot about the man who portrays my husband. I must say, they got the looks right.” you say in a teasingly manner, but you weren’t teasing at all. 

Ben was beyond gorgeous as he smiles and drops your hand. Everyone was laughing over your comment as Roger brings his hand and places it on your lower back. 

“Shall we get you something to drink, love?” he asks as you turn to look at him lovingly. 

You smile and lean in to gently press your lips to his. It was insane how much you adored him. 

“Yes, please.” you softly say back as you slip your hand into his. 

“You’re more than welcome to join us.” says Rog to Ben as you both walk away, but not before you look to him and grin.

“More than welcome.” you repeat, causing Ben to instantly nod and follow behind you.

You all walk onto set and to a small room with a couch and a mini fridge in the corner. The walls were painted a bright green and the only people there were you, Roger and Ben. 

“What would you like, babe?” asks Rog as he looks to the fridge. 

“Oh, I can get it for her!” says Ben a little too quickly - something you noticed. 

“Thank you.” you purr as you slump down onto the couch, Roger following. “Water will be just fine.” 

Ben hurriedly grabs a cold bottle and brings it over to you. You reach out to grab it, your hand gently sliding over his long fingers. Ben freezes at the contact as you smirk and and pull away. 

“Thank you.” you say once more. 

Ben just nods and clears his throat as he steps back and looks around awkwardly. 

“So, Ben,” you start, making him look to you in an instant. “How’s it like working with my perfectionist of a husband? Is he working you to the bone?” you teasingly ask, causing Roger to laugh loudly and to playfully squeeze at your upper thigh. 

Ben notices and swallows hard as he attempts to laugh at your joke. 

“Oh, uh, no. Roger’s wonderful, but you should know that.” he says with a smile. 

You smile back and look to Roger as you lean forward and nuzzle your nose against his. 

“I sure do, don’t I?” you ask as he leans in and kisses you, his hand rubbing up and down your thigh. 

That was the first time Ben had met you and it surely won’t be the last. 

***

1 Month Later 

“What do you mean you’re leaving?” you sadly ask as Roger stands up and sweetly smiles. 

You, Roger, Ben and Joe were all a nightclub as you celebrate the final wrapping of Bohemian Rhapsody. The movie was finally over and you all couldn’t be more proud or happy about that. 

“I have to go and work on a few more things back at the studio, love. You’re more than welcome to stay with the rest of them!” he says above the music. 

“Actually, I have a flight to catch early in the morning. I should really get going as well.” says Joe as he stands up. 

You pout and look to Ben with big puppy dog eyes. 

“Oh, uh, I’ll stay with her.” he says to Rog. 

You smile and look back to Roger with big eyes. He nods as you stand up and walk over to him. You press yourself against him as he kisses you harshly. His hand runs down your back and stops on your butt, as he squeezes. Ben looks away fast and sighs. The two of you break away as you peck him on the lips once more and he’s gone. You turn around and look to Ben as he’s still looking away. You walk over and flop next to him on the large couch and smile. 

“Another round?” you ask loudly, slightly drunk. 

Ben’s eyes go wide as he smiles, slightly drunk as well. Another round and then another and then another. The two of you were on the dance floor and laughing loudly as you clung to one another and danced like crazy. Your head flies back as you laugh at something Ben did, your arms holding him close to you. When you look back to him, his face is now serious. He’s staring at your lips and then back at your eyes. 

“Do you wanna kiss me?” you ask, knowing the answer. 

Ben gulps and awkwardly laughs as he shakes his head no. 

“I’m sorry. I, uh...” he trails off as you just look up to him and smile. 

It’s like something came over him. A sudden burst of confidence hits and he was leaning forward and kissing you harshly. Your tongues clashed together as you elicit a slight moan into his mouth - which drove him crazy.

“Should we-” he goes to ask, not even thinking about Roger. 

But before he can answer, you already had grabbed his hand and were dragging him through the club and out the front door. Luckily, when Roger had left, that meant the paparazzi did too. You were in the clear. Once outside, you spin around and kiss him once more. His hands are on your hips as you bite his lower lip and smile. You back away and hail a cab as you both slide in. You’re all over each other in the backseat until a hotel pops up. You swiftly get out with Ben following behind you. You both are fast to rent a room and to get to it. Once inside, Ben slams you against the wall and attaches his lips to your neck. 

“This is so wrong.” he whispers against you. 

Your head was leaning against the wall with your eyes closed. You laugh as you tug at his hair and moan. 

“Just shut up and fuck me already.” you practically growl. 

Ben listens to you as he backs away and pulls your dress up. He swiftly tears your panties off, accidentally ripping one side in the process and destroying them. You jokingly frown and pout. 

“Aw, those were Roger’s favorites.” you tease as you smirk, causing Ben’s face to go serious.

He then undoes his pants and allows them to pool at his feet. You’re biting your lip as you lean against the wall and stare down at his throbbing length that’s hiding just behind the thin fabric of his underwear. He’s watching you the whole time as he pulls his underwear down, allowing himself to spring free. Your face goes serious as you bite your lip even harder. Ben smirks as he walks back to you and bends down slightly, picking you up. You squeal playfully as he slams you against the wall again, your legs wrapped around his torso. He lifts your dress up even more and without a moment to spare, he lines himself up and slams into you. You gasp at the fullness and moan loudly, not caring who hears. 

The whole night you were moaning out Ben's name, but you were really thinking of Roger. 

***

4 Months Later 

“Hey, babe?” you ask as you walk into a dressing room with Roger and Ben inside. 

They were all dressed up for an interview for the movie that was about to be released in months time.

“Will you hand me a water from the fridge?” 

Both Roger and Ben both nod and get up at the same time, pausing when they notice. Ben’s face turns red as your eyes open wide for a moment. Roger gives him a confused and serious look before bursting out laughing. 

“Nice one, Ben.” he laughs out as he goes to the fridge. 

Ben tries to laugh with him, but fails. He looks to you all serious as you ignore his weird look and focus on your husband as he walks up with the water and kisses you. You melt against him and smile as you run your finger against his bottom lip. 

“I love you.” you purr to him as he kisses you once more. 

“And I love you.” he whispers back before kissing you and walking out of the room. 

You keep smiling until he’s gone and look back to Ben. 

“Really?” you ask annoyed as Ben has the most guiltiest look on his face. “You do realize I call my husband babe, right? Not you. Do you know what could have happened if he thought something was up, Ben?” 

Ben walks to you and nods his head. 

“I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I have this instinct that whatever you ask for, I’ll get it for you. Anything.” 

You watch him with narrowed eyes, knowing he’s trying to say something else. 

“What are you talking about?” you spat. “It was just water.” 

You go to turn around, but Ben reaches out and grabs your hand. You look back to him with a raised brow and sigh. Ben stares at you for a moment longer before smiling sweetly. 

“It’s been five months since we first... Got together.” he says, thinking of the right phrase. “Five months of sneaking around. We don’t have to keep doing that.” he says almost excited. 

You shake your head and remove your hand from his, causing him to frown. 

“What are you talking about?” you ask rudely. 

“I love what we have. I love being with you. I... I guess what I’m trying to say is... Y/n... I love you.”

Your eyes go wide and your mouth slightly falls open. You blink several times and half laugh as you shake your head and take a step back. 

“I’m sorry,” you whisper. “You what?” 

Ben notices the unsatisfied look on your face and his smile instantly drops. 

“What we have is something special. I knew that from the moment I laid my eyes on you. Didn’t you feel the same way?” he asks sadly. 

You breathe out a laugh and shake your head. 

“What I felt was a really hot guy paying attention to me when my husband was busy. That doesn’t make him not my husband. I love Roger, Ben. Not you. A booty call isn’t love. You’re just confused.” 

“A booty call?” he asks, irritated. “That’s all you thought that was?!” 

“Of course I did! I’m married, Ben! I’m in love with Roger! I didn’t actually take anything we did serious, sweetie. Sex is just sex.” 

“You were just bored.” he whispers sadly. 

You just shrug and pull out your cell phone from your back pocket when an alert goes off. 

“Precisely. Look, Rog just texted me and I gotta go... I really am sorry, Ben.” you say with a serious tone. 

Ben raises his brows and looks away as he nods his head. 

“Yeah... Me too.” 

You watch him with a frown for a second longer before you turn around and walk out of the room, leaving a heartbroken and lovesick Ben all alone.

Tag List: @rogue-barnes-16--main-account @maggieroseevans @sonic-volcano @queengavemeasheerheartattack @lainkaulait

Perm Tag List: @loudxxstar @iambuckyrogers @babebenhardy @ramimalekrp-roleplayerpage @mautand @rogertayolr @mothermercuryy @basics-andthesimplelife @caterinaborgia @discodeakyjazzyjoe @sheridans-dynamos @bethany-cc @onexlittlespark @idontbelievethiss @having-a-freddie-time @denimmay @bensrhapsody @manuosorioh @writing-in-hell @cupcakehardy @toms-irish-girl @a-kind-of-magik @thesecondlastjedi @dianamarie-has-a-blog @ezmina98 @finnbalortrash21 @frostedsugarcookiemint @yourealegendroger @popcrone818 @wronglanemendes @sj-thefan @borhapqueen92 @httpfandxms @haileylansley @arrozsocarrat @quirkydeaky @vanitysfairr @rogmeddows @loveandbeloved29 @vousmemanqueez @hearts-to-the-sky @shewantsthe-youngamerican @sherlollydramoine @culturefiendtrashqueen @mamiigg @drowseoftaylor @hissom1933 @roger-bang-the-drum @rromanovv @benders-diamond-earring @its-a-kind-of-magic-20 @onceuponadetectivedemigod @psychosupernatural @im-just-a-musical-prostitute

#benhardy #ben hardy #benhardyxreader #benhardyisdaddy #benhardyxy/n #roger taylor #rogertaylor #rogertaylorxy/n #fic #angst #cheating #smut #queen #borhap #joe mazzello #4 #story idea #list

[imaginetyzx]

ANDNNDDDDD “What does it mean when I can’t get you out of my mind?” WITH YUSUKE CUZ I KNOW THAT NAME AND YOU SAID YOU WANTED MORE. OK IM GOOD NOW ILY -REIGENQUEST

OK FINALLY GETTING AROUND TO ANSWERING THIS ONE LMAOOO OOP

It’s been only a couple weeks since I met the Phantom Thieves through my classmate, Yusuke. I’ve known Yusuke for awhile though, ever since our first days of school. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t find him insanely attractive, albeit a little clueless. He has good intentions though.

He even asked me to come over and help him with a project! I wonder what he’s struggling with?

His dorm isn’t far in comparison to mine, so I just walked over with a bag full of my various supplies. He didn’t really specify on what he needed help with, I just assume he needs someone to bounce ideas off of. We all do sometimes. Most of the shit I draw isn’t original content anyway.

I finally get there and knock on his door. He opens it almost immediately.

“Ah! Tori, you’re here! Thank you! Please, come in!” He speaks loud and clear, as usual. He steps back to allow me to step inside and I follow suit.

His dorm is both neat and messy at the same time. His furniture (how little of it there is) is clean and organized in comparison to the rooms shape. However, there’s art supplies covering almost every flat surface I can see. Even most of his kitchen counter has papers and pencils around it. I hope he eats better than I do. I eat cheap Ramen like twice a week.

“Here, my rooms over here.” He speaks up, walking and looking back at me to see if I’m following him. I do so, and when he opens his bedroom door it’s just like the main room but there’s even more art supplies. The occasional finished or unfinished painting is scattered around as well. At the center of the room is a stool and an easel, facing away from the window, I assume to allow him lots of sunlight to see his paintings.

“Come and look at what I’ve done so far, would you?” He gestures to the easel, and I walk over and look. Definitely unfinished, but it already looks amazing. There’s many different shapes of paint splatters around the border of the canvas, with cool colors. the middle space is plain grey.

“What’s the problem?” I ask.

“This assignment is supposed to be abstract, but as you can see by the paintings around the room, I have only been able to paint portraits as of late. I’m having difficulty getting inspired enough to make this assignment my best effort.” He sighs, looking at all the paintings he mentions.

He’s right, these are all portraits of people. They all look sort of similar, but different enough to notice. One of them almost reminds me of how I draw myself, actually. Probably just a coincidence.

I direct my attention back to the painting at hand.

“Hm…” I ponder with some ideas in my head that he could pull off.

“This frame idea you have is really nice, I think you should just get random with the middle! Make something weird, like paint flowers but instead of real flowers they’re made out of cookies or something.” I suggest, before continuing. “But also, keep the colors similar to those you used in the border. Darker colors will go much better than any reds or yellows, so hot pinks and purples would probably be the way to go.”

Yusuke smiles and walks up to me.

“Ah…I see…Thank you, I think I have found an idea of my own thanks to that idea of yours.”

I smile big.

“Of course! It’s no problem, we artists gotta help each other out sometimes! Show me the finished product when you’re done!” I turn to leave, but he speaks up.

“You can stay and observe, if you’d like. I want your live input.” He says, gathering some brushes and paints to start painting. For someone who just had an epiphany, he is moving…very calmly. I guess that is just his normal personality, but even so, he usually gets so fired up when he has a new idea.

“Oh, uh, sure!” I walk over to his bed to the side of the room and sit there as he starts painting. The silence is weird at first, but after awhile it’s comforting. I can tell he’s very focused. The sunlight from the window behind him makes his royal blue hair sparkle unlike any glitter you could buy in a craft store. I can’t help but let my posture relax as I watch him work, unaware of the smile on my face as I zone out. I zone out so much, in fact, that I don’t notice when he stops painting and looks at me. It isn’t until he speaks that I snap out of it.

“What does it mean when I can’t get you out of my mind?” Yusuke asks so casually. He said what. What? I visibly shake my head and look at him for real this time. He’s holding his paintbrush in the air and looking right at me, before he returns to painting after seeing my shock.

“W-w-what do you mean?” I stutter accidentally.

“I keep thinking about you and I haven’t figured out why, exactly. You’re obviously my good friend, and I appreciate you plenty, but indulging in my thoughts is only making it happen more often. I was considering inquiring with Ann or one of the others about this, but I figured it would be easiest to ask you first.” He speaks to me and I somehow retain only two words of that.

Good friend.

Okay, breathe, idiot.

“Well, I can’t really tell you that. I don’t know exactly what you’re thinking of me so there’s no way I can tell you what it means.” I start fiddling with my jewelry. “In my experience, when I can’t stop thinking about someone, I usually start to wonder if I like them…but it might not be a universal experience.” I speak softly but clear enough for him to hear.

“Hm……ah. I think I know what you are saying.” He says, fixing a brush stroke he accidentally made too light.

“Ah…” I make a confirming noise, unsure how to progress the conversation, if at all. I look at my lap as I do so, pulling out my phone as a habit. I do it whenever I don’t know what else to say. Thanks to this, I don’t even notice him put his brush down and get up. He walks over to me and rests my chin in his fingers, lifting my face to his. My face turns red before he even speaks.

“Those paintings…we’re…or rather, are…you.” He quietly tells me, slowly leaning closer. Curse his naturally romantic aura! I make the boldest move of my life and lean to him first as our lips make contact.

We both back up after a moment, and he smiles.

“Thank you for your help. Will you continue to be on my mind?” He holds my hand, waiting for an answer.

It takes me a solid minute to realize what his question means, before I nod.

He smiles at me. The room feels much warmer all the sudden.

#anon #drabble #FUCKKCKUASFIUFGOASUIFUOGIAFS #tysuke #art dummy #this one was fun

[winnipegpatty]

We’re Fatally Flawed | one | s.m. series

a/n: thanks to @fourtristattoos for helping me with some conceptual things. ily boo you are so good! 

warnings: language

if you’re interested in the music

“Hey man, my name’s Travis Clark. I sing for We the Kings? I hear you have a band in Toronto?”

“That, uh, yeah that’s right,” Shawn stuttered.

“We want you to play with us on tour.”

Shawn stuttered on his side of the phone. He hadn’t heard that right, clearly. “You what?” He said like a fucking idiot.

Is this what a big break felt like?

__

At the young age of twenty-three, Shawn Mendes hadn’t don’t much with his life. After graduating high school, Shawn had done what a good kid does, and went to college. He came out two years later, with an associates degree in business. Since, he’s done very little that would make his parents proud. He only went to college to oblige them in the first place, but now, three years out of college, he had nothing to show for it. Shawn wasn’t lazy or anything. He wasn’t one of those kids that came home from college and then moved into their parents basement and did nothing with their life. Shawn just didn’t love business. He didn’t love school. He loved music. And music was the only thing he could imagine doing, no matter how unrealistic or unlikely it seemed.

Shawn wasn’t completely ungrateful for college though. If it hadn’t been for those two years he would have never met Mandy Stein. A beautifully tender hearted person that he now could call his own. They’d been dating for almost four years now. Mandy was starting her first year as a kindergarten teacher this year. She was so excited, and Shawn knew she was made for teaching. Her kind heart and her caring demeanor was perfect for molding young minds.

So while Mandy was preparing her first lesson plans and decorating her classroom, Shawn was in the garage of his and Mandy’s small home practicing with his band, Terminal. The band was Shawn’s entire life. He’d somehow managed to find some of the most incredible people who were willing to go on the journey alongside him. Mike, Zubin, Eddy, and Dave all made up the band along with Shawn, and aside from Mandy they were the most important people in his life right now. Terminal had been doing good lately, after two years of playing to nothing but empty rooms or friends, they’d finally seemed to hit some momentum.

They’d most recently been asked to been asked to open for a handful of bands that were big in Toronto. It was good exposure, for a band so unknown. Punk music wasn’t exactly the most popular in Canada either, but Shawn couldn’t find it in himself to make the music people would want to hear. He had to make what he wanted to hear. What he was inspired to make. Even if it meant that he wasn’t going to have the fame and success that he truly craved. Even if it meant he never got to play in front of a full stadium.

Tonight they had a show at the Scotiabank arena. It was the first of a three night run in front of the band We the Kings. When Travis Clark had personally contacted Shawn a couple months ago, Shawn hadn’t believed him. Thought the phone call was some cruel prank, but Travis was in fact very serious. He’d heard Terminal’s debut EP through a friend, and he wanted their band to open for them. It was insane, and the craziest thing the band had ever had the opportunity to do by a long shot. Tonight they’d be playing in front of over 15,000 people. The band was collectively losing their shit.

It was the opportunity of a lifetime. Over the next five days, Terminal would have exposure to over 40,000 new people who had most likely never heard their music before. People who had no idea that they were still practicing in a soundproof garage. In the past few weeks, Shawn had been doing everything he could to up their social media game with the hopes of attracting new fans after the upcoming shows. His sister Aaliyah had helped him with some special instagram layout or something that she said would catch people’s eyes. He didn’t know much about that, but he trusted her.

“You’re coming tonight, right?” Shawn asked Mandy through the phone, voice filled with excitement.

The band was at the arena now, getting ready for soundcheck. Shawn couldn’t even think, it was so surreal.

“Babe, you know I’ve got to get my classroom ready tonight.”

Shawn bit his lip, minding the thin black ring on his lip. “Oh yeah, but you’ll make it to one of the other shows right?”

“I’m not sure yet,” Mandy’s voice came through.

Shawn tried not to feel the little pings of disappointment that were coming for his heart.

“I’m just so busy, Shawn,” Mandy added. “School starts in a week and a half. And I’m nowhere near ready.”

Shawn nodded, “Yeah that’s okay. Get lots of work done tonight. I’ll see you at home?”

Mandy smiled into the phone, “We can celebrate.”

Shawn flicked his tongue over his lips, “Yeah okay. I gotta go now, we’re gonna sound check.” Shawn sucked in a breath, “Fuck...we’re gonna soundcheck. I think I’m going to cry, Mandy. I’m a fucking pansy.”

“No, you’re just living your dream. It’s okay to be emotional about it.” She smiled, “I love you, Shawn. You’re gonna kill it.”

“Love you too.”

___

“FUCKKKK!” Zubin yelled from backstage. “This is really fucking happening isn’t it?” He looked too Shawn hopefully.

Shawn nodded, “It is. Fuck, I don’t think I can breathe. I’ve never been this nervous before.”

Zubin clapped Shawn on the back, laughing maniacally. “We’re gonna tear the stage up. Toronto isn’t gonna know what hit ‘em.”

“Exactly!” Eddy piped in.

“Okay, I just...let’s go over it again okay?” Shawn nervously twirled the thin band on his right ring finger. “Opening with Mess of Me, then Voices. I’ll introduce the band. Then we’ll sing Native Tongue. Terminal, Take My Fire, and then we’ll close with Bullet Soul.”

“We got it man,” Mike hollered. “We’ve been practicing for weeks. Stop worrying. Let’s just enjoy it, yeah?”

Shawn wasn’t sure if he could actually stop worrying, but he did his best to just breathe.

A man with a headset came up to them, “You guys are on. The lights will come up as soon as the video fades out.”

They all hustled onto stage and Shawn could feel his entire body vibrating as he placed his hands on his guitar, ready to strike his first chord. Thirty seconds later, the lights rise and the arena erupts in a chorus of screams. Shawn starts the riffs of Mess of Me and on the second go around Zubin joins in. “I am my own affliction,” Shawn’s voice comes through the speakers like smooth honey, and the crowd screams for them. “I am my own disease.”

The chorus crashes in and the boys come behind him singing a chorus of oh’s before Shawn voice goes raspy, and he starts singing the chorus at the top of his lungs. He’s never felt more alive than he does in this moment. He thinks back to his happiest memories, and there is nothing that compares to this moment in time. He thinks he finally knows what it means to be alive. Nerves a thing of the past, Shawn jumps on the stage, guitar in hand, and owns the performance like he was born to do exactly this.

Mess of Me segways easily into Voices, and it all just feels so right. The rush of adrenaline Shawn gets as he walks down the catwalk with his microphone was unreal. People, who minutes ago had no idea who he was, are reaching for him like he holds the fucking world in his hands. It’s addictive. Shawn bends down reaching out to touch a girls hand who screams at him as he sings, “And I’ve got a army of voices in my head.”

He looks towards the other side of the catwalk and catches eyes with a person who’s actually singing the words like they know who they are. And if Shawn thought performing to a hyped up crowd was cool before, he knew now had just a sliver of what it could feel like with a stadium full of people singing back to you. He needed to know what that felt like.

Voices came to a head when Zubin shouted the last few words and the music cut out. Shawn ran back up the catwalk back to his mic stand.

“Hello Toronto!” Shawn screamed into the microphone. The crowd explodes with screams and shouts and clapping. “You’re looking extra beautiful tonight. It is amazing to finally meet all of you lovely people. My name is Shawn. Zubin is here on guitar,” Zubin played a sick guitar riff that had Shawn’s ears humming. “Give it up for Eddy on the keys,” Eddy followed Zubin in a similar fashion. “And Mike is smashing it on the drums tonight, eh?” Mike killed a drum beat before Shawn screamed into the microphone, “And we are Terminal, this next song is Native Tongue.”

___

“Celebratory drinks?” Zubin asked as the boys packed up their guitars and packing them into the van they’d come in.

“Hell yes!” Shawn roared.

Piling into the van, they headed to a nearby bar. It was already past midnight, but fuck it. When the opportunity of a lifetime presents itself, you fucking celebrate.

We the Kings had killed it on stage, and the concert was just amazing. Coming off stage had been disorienting to say the least. Shawn was covered in sweat, his heart pounding, his ears ringing, and his entire body vibrating from adrenaline. The first step into back stage was like being hit by a wall of silence. The ringing in his ears intensified and his body suddenly felt like it was in an overwhelming overdrive with no real output. After sometime, the feeling eventually subsided and Shawn was able to return to life. But he’d definitely never experienced an adrenaline rush quite like that before. He was willing to bet it was addictive.

At the bar they each got a round of shots before picking their drinks of choice. They sat at a high top table, discussing the feelings the night had induced in all of the. Each member going over things they’d never forget. Moments that were worth reliving over and over again. Somewhere in the early hours of the morning, a girl walked over to the group, drink in hand.

“Hey, you’re the guys from Terminal right?” She slurred slightly. “Just saw you tonight.”

Shawn smiled, “Yeah that’s us.”

Fuck they were already being recognized? This is what dreams feel like, right?

“You guys, were so amazing tonight.”

The blonde girl leaned heavily against the table, coming closer to Shawn. She smelled like coconut.

“Well, thanks.” Shawn smiled. “Glad you liked it.”

She pressed into Shawn’s side and whispered, “I loved it.”

Shawn felt a rush heat run up his neck and onto his cheeks as he looked at the other boys who were just staring at the spectacle.

“Well it was nice to meet you.”

“Yeah, it was,” she looked at each of the band members before turning back to Shawn, looking like she wanted to completely devour him.

She stumbled away, and Zubin whistled at Shawn. “Dude Mandy’s got some competition.”

Shawn rolled his eyes, “You know there isn’t anyone but Mandy. Not for me anyway.”

Zubin looked at Eddy making a special kind of eye contact before Eddy laughed. Shawn ignored them in favor of grabbing another bear from the bar.

It wasn’t until after three that Shawn stumbled into their home. He slammed the door a little too loud, cringing at the loud echo in his skull. Tomorrow morning wasn’t going to be fun. He walked into the kitchen, cursing when he stubbed his toe against the island. He shuffled around looking for the light, before finally finding it, illuminating the room in a warm glow. He quickly grabbed a glass, filling it with water, and swallowing down some pain killers. Turning off the light, he stumbled down the hallway, into the bedroom.

Shawn pulled off his shirt and jeans before falling into his bed with a huff.

“Shawn?” Mandy whispered, rolling over. “What time is it?”

“It’s almost 4 babe, go back to sleep.”

“How was the concert?” She mumbled instead.

“It was good, babe. Now go back to sleep.”

She turned away from him in the bed, and Shawn pushed himself up against her back, arms wrapping around her torso.

“We were supposed to celebrate,” was the last thing Shawn heard before he slipped into a deep sleep.

tagging: @fourtristattoos @peacedolantwins2 @rosecth @unhealthyobsessionwithmarvel 

consider supporting me on ko-fi

#shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes #shawn mendes x reader #imagine #fic #fanfic #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes writing #my writing #mine #writing

[james-bucky-barnackle]

Evidence

Synopsis: This is Bucky trying to get rid of your stuff after you broke up with him. Yes you did, you nasty reader. lol ily

Pairing: Bucky x reader

A/N: Listen to Evidence by 2AM Club and you’ll laugh and cry like I did writing this.

I'm finally throwing out her stuff, well not throwing them out but I'm giving it back... to her.

I've been in the comfort of my apartment for what seemed like centuries. Sitting on the couch we first made out, taking showers long enough that my fingers wrinkle from just thinking about her

I'm gonna have to let her go. That's what i say the first thing waking up, and it’s becoming like a joke. I can't seem to do it.

What's out of sight isn't out of mind. She's not in this apartment, can't say the same about all her stuff though. But I'm doing the one thing that makes sense, I'm getting rid of all the evidence we even dated.

I spread both my arms on the couch and run my fingers through the fabric. Am I paranoid? Or this couch still smells like her? Gah! I'm a mess. Look at the walls, all the frames have her face on it. It's insane. I want to put my feet on the coffee table but I don't want to touch the books she put there. Why haven't I've gotten rid of those?!

I hate this rug, I was blinded by love. I don't need a rug, never did. Why did I let her buy it?

I finally stand up and go to the bathroom, staring at myself in the mirror and resting my hands on the corners of the sink. You're going to put all her stuff in a box and returning it to her, you hear me Barnes? I slap myself.

I splash myself with water and my gaze turns to the mug with two toothbrushes, are you kidding me? What? Why? I'm gonna lose my mind. No, stop. I can do this.

But what if she comes back and looks for her toothbrush? Fuck. Stop thinking about her! She's not coming back. She's not coming back? God this is so hard. Why can't she come back?

I pull it from the cup and throw it in the trash. One down, probably a million more... this is exhausting. When I leave my bathroom, I'm welcomed with the comfort of my bedroom. The bedroom, our bedroom. MY bedroom! Get a grip, Bucky. I try to fight the urge to lie down and hug a pillow imagining it’s her. And frankly, I don't give a damn, it's my time to grieve. I got dumped. I jump face first, my legs dangling off the bed and my arms spread wide. I pull a pillow close and sure enough it still smells like her. I'm never gonna move on, am I? How do people do this? Why can't people just continue being together even when they're annoying the fuck outta each other?

What if I tell her I only have two days to live? I need some backstory. I could tell her that when I was dating her the serum was slowly expiring… That Bruce told me I have two days to live. She’ll come back, won’t she? But then Steve has to ride with me and pretend he has… how many days will Steve have before he supposedly dies? He got the serum first. So, it makes – I count with my fingers, what am I doing?

"AHHHHH!" I scream like I'm a hormonal teenager. I can't believe I got dumped. Do I text her? I fish my phone out my pocket and I stare at the screen. Steve's put a washi tape on it with "you better not be calling her" written in black sharpie. How I know the word washi, blame Y/N. It's a text, I'm not gonna call her. I SWEAR. I peel it off and her name is on the top of my messages. I've sent her forty-two texts... is it bad to send her one more?   Sigh. I throw my phone away.

Sam has been dragging me to bars every night saying I should get myself back out there but I only end up talking about Y/N to the girls I meet. Eventually leading to crying and ranting that they'll never be as good as her. I'm sure half of Brooklyn already knows who she is by the number of times I've told our story.

I can't even go anywhere thinking she might be there and I might relapse. She's addicting. Is there an exes anonymous I could join? I already know how I'm going to introduce myself. Bucky Barnes, I've been single for 4 weeks and am not handling it very well. I still love her. I need help.

I hear a knock on my door, could it be her?! I run and I try to fix my hair without even looking at a mirror. I smell my shirt, the shirt I've been wearing three days now. Are my abs still there? I touch my stomach.

"It's Steve, stop checking yourself out and open the door." Gaddamnit.

"Hey." I say when I let him in. He surveys the apartment and shakes his head and looks at me, "I'm doing it today, I swear! I already threw her toothbrush."

"Oh boy." Steve snorts. "We're starting with the titan."

"Where is that?" I feel my stomach turning, I'm not ready for this.

"The bedroom, the closet specifically." I open my mouth to protest but the look he gives me stops me from even trying.

“Are you wearing lipstick?”

“It’s Y/N’s” I thought I might remember the feeling of her lips on mine.

“That’s creepy. Wipe it off.” Steve cringes, I shrug. It actually is - I’m way out of my head.

We go to my bedroom and stare at my closet. A wide array of clothes, mine and hers slapping me in the face. How do we even begin? My clothes have become hers. If I consider even adding the shirts I've let her wear, I'd end be left with only my underwear.

“This looks like a huge clearance sale.” Steve blinks, looking at the mess. "Start pulling them out of the closet, Barnes."

"All of those are mine." I say.

"Really? You own a pair of pink yoga pants?" Steve replies holding up the clothing. Will he believe me if I tell him yes? "Barnes!" Okay, maybe not.

"These crop tops, you wear these too?" He mocks me.

"I can find use for them when my shoulders get cold and my stomach's hot."

Steve replies with a look of bewilderment.

"Get rid of Y/N's clothes!"

"Okay! Okay!" I reply, "Tomorrow! I promise."

"Today!"

"Okay! Today!"

"You're a mess Barnes."

“Help.”

Check my other stuff out too? | M A S T E R L I S T

Feedback, likes and reblogs are appreciated!!!

Permanent taglist!!! @gracielou0518 / @memory-of-a-goldfish / @thatbitchsaidhi / @xxashy999xx / @queenlouisa2001  / @shliic / @speggehi / @blackdaisybitch / @hiddlestannn / @tuliptx / @m-a-t-91 / @milkshakeslou / @fireboltrose7559 / @justmesadgirl / @makloveswriting  / @cococola-cocaine / @impalatobakerstreet / @laochbaineann / @justakpopfan4 / @kiramotherofsnails / @yknott81 / @heartssick / @thisismysecrethappyplace / @oldwhalien / @padackles2010 / @ria132love / @lolabean1998

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes imagines #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fluff #james buchanan barnes #steve rogers #marvel #marvel fluff #bucky breakup #2am club #evidence #fanfic #marvel fanfic #bucky fanfic #sebastian stan #sebastian stan fanfic #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan imagines #bucky barnes drabble #marvel drabble

[harry-niclach]

Crowns Part 1

Title: Crowns

Previous | Masterlist | Next

The artist is the wonderful and kind @painfullybisexual

And this is for the Big Bang @ts-storytime thanks for creating this it helped me get used to a deadline and it helped improve my writing so thanks you guys and thanks for all your tips! Ily guys

Pairings/Characters: Romantic Analogical (Logan and Virgil) and Platonic/Familial Royality (Roman and Patton) and some oc and side characters that are in a relationship or are implied to be in love!

AU: Fantasy/Medieval based

Summary: Virgil has always been alone. He didn’t believe that there was a place for him out there. So when his Mother left him with a quick to turn Father he seemed more alone than ever. Now, however, someone is trying to help him, what can their reasoning be?

And more importantly, can Virgil stop himself from being too gay and falling for him?

Warnings: Panic, Panic attack, Minor Character Death, Illness, Cuts from falling, Swearing, blood, weapons, sword fighting/knife fighting, chase scene or two, If there's more let me know. There were more but I ran out of time to expand. (These are warnings for the entire book I will put the ones that apply for the chapter in bold!)

A/N: Research was done for the characters, names, outfits and some other random bits and bobs the rest is the fantasy half where things were added that might not be 100% factual but that’s part of the fun I guess! I hope you enjoy reading it and I hope I make the deadline! This will also end on a cliffhanger and depending on what people think I will make sequel if it goes down well and I know that Roman and Patton aren’t written as much as Logan and Virgil and that’s like only because I love analogical so much that I just can’t stop once I start but they do meet! I’m only 13 and I have written before just not on Tumblr so I had to balance school and homework and stuff too like others probably did too but don’t be mad if it isn’t great! I appreciate all the feedback though so don’t be afraid to let me know what you think!

The stairs had given way a few days ago. No one had come by. He was stuck.

The vines outside had grown and tangled in the crumbling walls, the bushes outside had grown wildly, and the grey sky ceased to clear. There was a very cold draft all through the tower and the stairs were gone and in a pile at the foot of the tower. Virgil’s crown had been thrown in a corner the second day that he had been trapped.

After all, it was the reason his world had crumbled, much like the stairs.

He had been waiting for a few days now.

-

People like knights were supposed to pass by here and they did but in the last few days no one had been near the area and it seemed like the universe was against him. His anxious heart was beginning to beat faster and faster. His eyes looked out the window and scanned the grass outside in hopes of seeing someone, anyone, but he could see no one and his hopes of hearing someone were drowned out by the sound of his heartbeat in his ear and his breathing that was filling up the empty room, void of sound. That would explain why he didn’t hear his savior approach,

“Is there someone up there?!” The voice was cold and precise and snapped him out of his panic,

“Y-yeah! Please! Fuck, the-the stairs I-I can’t get out!” He called back to whoever was at the bottom, his voice cracking as he stumbled over his words trying to get them out in desperation. This person sensed his discomfort and began talking calmly,

“Okay, I will find a way to get you down but please do as I say, can you do that?” Virgil only took a moment to respond,

“Y-Yeah I-I’ll try,” He was still shaking quite a bit but his mind had calmed slightly at the thought of finally getting out of this awful tower.

After about 5 minutes of listening intently waiting for the man at the bottom to tell him to do something, he heard a low rumble and some more bricks fell startling Virgil so much that a small yelp emitted from him.

“Are you alright up there?” He heard the voice once again filling him up with more hope. He nodded for a moment before realizing that this person couldn’t actually see him,

“Y-yes!” He went back to being quiet and sat on the small creaky bed in the corner of his small damp room. It was a miracle that he hadn’t become ill yet.

“Okay I need you to stand where the stairs used to be so that I can throw up a rope ladder to you, can you do that?” This man was constantly making sure that Virgil was okay. Who on god's green earth was he? Virgil pushed that thought away as it was unimportant right now, he honestly did care who was rescuing him but he also didn’t care. If the person was nice enough to rescue him and go out of their way to do so, then he assumed they were an okay person. Virgil didn’t like to assume things but in this case, he had to and it was a gut feeling so he went with it.

Virgil walked shakily over to the stairwell and looked down, making sure to keep his body pressed around the wall from the fear of falling. He waited a few minutes for this stranger to eventually throw a rope ladder up the tower. He waited and waited, he waited to the point that his anxious head made up reasons for why it was taking so long and his anxious heart began to beat faster and faster but he willed himself to at least make it down until he had a panic attack.

Just as he was about to give in the stranger came back and they had a rope ladder. Virgil’s next thought was that this stranger was very handsome and his thought after that was that he was a prince from the North. Which sent him into a further panic.

-

For the longest time, the North and the South Kingdom had been fighting and invading and pillaging the towns in the west where the dark sides were and Virgil had been roped into this quite against his own will. It had all been a big misunderstanding but the strange thing was that he would rather be stuck up in the tower forever than be back in the west. He wasn’t even a dark side! But as soon as the people of the uneasy kingdom saw him they guessed that he was their next king and when Virgil denied they ignored and when Virgil protested they reacted and that was how this whole thing had happened. God he wished his father hadn’t wanted to move to the west in a desperate act of fear of the South Kingdom who had threatened him so he decided this was a good idea.

He had never been more wrong in his life but Virgil didn't care he now hated the man he once called father as when Virgil was assumed of royal blood he sided with those in the wrong and when it came to dealing with Virgil’s outbursts his “Father” agreed with moving somewhere where he had nothing to mess up and where he was out of the way.

-

So that’s what happened and now after days of waiting for some stranger from one of the very kingdoms he feared was here trying to help him.

Why?

He was broken out of his thoughts, once again, thanks to the man shouting up the stairwell his voice laced with the slight undertones of frustration which implied that he was repeating himself,

“Please, listen, I can hear that you’re breathing quite erratically, please take a deep breath and try to focus until we at least get you down from up there,” His voice was very calculating and precise but nevertheless he did have a point, taking in a deep breath Virgil nodded more to himself before calling back down the stairwell,

“Y-yeah, o-of course,” His voice broke a little and his pitch was a little higher than usual but who could blame him because he was currently stuck in a tower with a stranger trying to help him down with a probably unstable ladder but hey at least he was getting down,

Right?

The man wasted no time in throwing up the ladder then he went on to instructing Virgil on what he should do,

“Okay, First I need you to make sure you have everything as we will not be returning here then I need you to hook the ladder onto the brickwork where the stairs used to stand, Can you do that?” His voice was again not too loud and not in the slightest bit concerned he seemed very calm, in fact, he seemed like he had no problems in the world but what caught Virgil’s attention was the word ‘we’ what did he mean?! Virgil did as he was instructed without argument or protest. Once the ladder had been hooked onto the relatively sound brickwork, the man began to talk again,

“Okay, you can begin to climb down now as the ladder appears to be structurally sound  but please hold on tight and shout if you believe it to be true that you will fall, I will catch you,”

Was this guy insane?! How was he going to catch him and how was Virgil supposed to climb down the ladder calmly and why wouldn’t he hold on?! It’s not like he had a death wish! Instead of voicing his concerns he just obediently began to climb down the ladder it shook and wobbled and pieces of wall crumbled down the stairwell but the ladder somehow stayed in place, and for that, Virgil was grateful.

He reached the ground after some unknown time span, as he reached the ground his legs were too shaky to withstand his own weight but the man who helped him down caught him, it was as if he had somehow foreseen Virgil’s weak knees.

“Th-thanks...” Virgil’s voice was no more than a whisper, if even that but he was so relieved to finally be on the ground and out of that godforsaken tower. His crown was dropped next to him in disgust and as a second thought. After about a ten seconds Virgil was shaking too much to stand and lowered himself to the ground with the help of the man,

“My name is Sir Logan from the North,” He looked at Virgil with a warm shine in his eyes but nothing suggested that he wanted a name and information in return.

After Virgil was set down leaning against the wall by the door Logan moved to inspect the crown that had been thrown, He picked it up gingerly and began to turn it in his hands, his face set like stone, he spoke up once more,

“Where are you from? I do not need your name nor do I care what your name is at this precise moment in time, Now where are you from?” His voice hardened and his face remained set clearly he already knew the answer,

“Th-the West, shit! B-but! I s-swear I-I’m not a-a fuckin’ dark s-side-!” He was now frantic, trying to get his conscious stream of thoughts out into words but he couldn’t, and that’s what bothered him. He worked himself up even more tears threatening to spill out as he clenched his jaw,

“It’s okay, I know that your not one of them, I can tell from your stutter so please calm down. Take a deep breath and know that I won’t hurt you, Okay?” Logan was talking slowly but emotions weren’t Logan's forte he had a difficult time reading people's emotions, he could tell what emotions people felt at best but he had no idea how to deal with them,

Virgil began to hyperventilate, he was trying to take deep breaths but for some reason, he couldn’t breathe no matter how hard he tried and he as trying.

There was now warmth where there hadn’t been before. Something pulled his arm from his huddled form and held against a body of warmth. But it wasn’t too warm. There was a steady beat that Virgil could feel through his hand and it, oddly enough, ebbed his panic away until he wasn’t continuing to get worked up over what he would do and what would happen to him. Don’t get me wrong he was still in a state of panic it just wasn’t increasing anymore it was slowly - incredibly - leaving his system as he focused solely on breathing deep full breaths and then forcing them back out in time to the beat which he could now guess was a heartbeat.

After some minutes had passed - or maybe it had been hours? Virgil wasn’t sure anymore - when Virgil could think clearly and was mostly coherent Logan asked him something,

“Would you like to come back with me?”

-

Sorry for any mistakes. If you want to be tagged let me know! <3

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #fanfic #sanders sides fanfic #sanders sides fic #ts-storytime 2018 submission #harry writes #crowns #analogical #royality #my writing

[softspideys]

Faking It

summary: you and peter fake-date until eventually, you both just stop pretending

warnings: none

words: 2.6k

pairing: peter parker x reader

prompt: “I accidentally called you my girlfriend today” from this list

a/n: this prompt was requested by hailey @kindkiwi who is not only the world’s greatest human but also my best friend, so I hope you enjoy ILY FOREVER

“You’re going to hate me,” were the first words that came out of Peter’s mouth when you opened your door to let him in.

You raised your eyebrows. “That’s one way to greet someone.” You stood back to let him come inside, but he shook his head.

“You’re just gonna kick me out in a second anyway, so why bother?”

“Okay . . . why?”

Peter shook his head. “I—I don’t—I can’t tell you. No, I can’t do it.”

“Peter,” you said, annoyed. “What is going on?”

He sighed. Looking at his feet, he mumbled, “I accidentally called you my girlfriend today.”

You squinted at him, tapping your ear. “I’m sorry, what? You called me your what?”

“I know, I know, but just listen!” Peter said pleadingly, following you into your apartment as you stalked away. “Flash was ripping into me like extra bad today and talking about how much of a loser I am and how I’ll probably never have a girlfriend and I just panicked, okay, and I said I did have one and he said who and I just said the first name that popped into my head and it was yours.”

You rubbed the bridge of your nose. “God, Peter, for a genius, you’re a pretty big idiot sometimes.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. I just . . . panicked,” Peter said again.

“Well, that did you a whole lot of good, didn’t it? Now you’re gonna have to tell Flash I’m not your girlfriend and you’ll look even stupider!”

But Peter had a look on his face that told you that wasn’t what he was thinking of doing at all. “What?” you said suspiciously.

“Hear me out,” Peter began, and you groaned. “No, wait! What if . . . we pretended to date?”

You let out a disbelieving laugh. “You’re kidding.” He shook his head. “Peter . . . why?”

“Please?” he begged. “Just for a few weeks? Just so Flash believes it and I don’t have to be the loser who lied about having a girlfriend?”

“Who says anyone’s gonna believe it?” you demanded.

Peter shrugged. “Everyone seemed to believe it when I said it. And I mean, we’re best friends already. We can just say we realized we both had feelings for each other.” He cleared his throat. “Or something.”

You stared at him, exasperated. He clasped his hands under his chin, giving you the puppy eyes you could never say no to. You sighed heavily. “You’re insane, do you know that?”

“Is that a yes?” Peter said hopefully.

“Fine. But you’re doing my chem homework for a week. No, two. Two weeks.”

“Yes!” Peter pumped his fist triumphantly. “Thank you. You’re a lifesaver. I’ll see you Monday . . . girlfriend.” He shot you double guns and darted out the door before you could punch him.

You closed your eyes, covering your face with your hands and wondering what on earth you’d gotten yourself into.

* * *

When you left your apartment on Monday morning, you were surprised to find Peter standing there, holding two coffees from the café down the street. “Hey,” you said slowly.

“Morning,” he said. “I, uh, got you a coffee.”

“Oh. Thanks.”

“I thought we could take the train together and, you know . . . talk about the plan.”

“Sure,” you said, falling into step beside him. The air between you two was tense, almost nervous.

“Listen,” Peter said, turning to you. “You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. I’ll—I’ll just tell Flash I was lying, it’ll be fine—”

You had a vision of what would occur if that happened, the look on Flash’s face as he gleefully informed everyone that not only did Peter Parker not have a girlfriend, but that he lied about it. You couldn’t let him suffer through that with a good conscience.

“No,” you interrupted. “I’ll do it. What are friends for, right?”

“Yeah, friends,” Peter agreed. “And like, we can just . . . hold hands. If that’s okay.”

“Sure,” you said. “Sounds good.” The two of you were quiet until you got to school.

“Ready?” he said, holding out his hand hesitantly.

You nodded and slid your fingers through his, squeezing once to let him know you were with him. The two of you entered the building, and you tried not to feel like everyone was looking at you.

Peter let go of your hand when you got to your locker, leaning against the one next to it as you dialed your combination like he always did. You began to feel a little better; most of this was just going to be how you and Peter usually acted.

In fact, you almost forgot about the whole fake-dating thing until the bell rang and Peter said, “Well, I gotta go to class.”

“Okay,” you agreed, suddenly nervous. “See you at lunch?”

Peter nodded. The two of you looked at each other for a second before you decided that if he wasn’t going to make the move, you’d have to.

You stretched up on your toes and kissed his cheek quickly before patting him on the arm. “Bye.”

He turned and watched you walk away, one hand coming up to touch his face, right where your lips had been.

* * *

For the next few days, being Peter’s fake-girlfriend wasn’t actually that bad. You’d gotten used to holding hands as you walked through the halls and giving quick kisses on the cheek or forehead when you said good-bye. Everything else was just natural.

What bothered you the most was that none of your friends were surprised. Peter didn’t want anyone to know that it was fake, not even Ned. But when the two of you “broke the news” at lunch, hardly anyone blinked.

Instead, everyone resumed eating, and Michelle answered, “Uh, yeah. We know.”

“What?” Peter said, startled. “What do you mean?”

“You guys have never exactly been subtle,” she pointed out. “Plus, Flash told everybody on Friday.”

You and Peter exchanged a look. The first part of her sentence had thrown you for a loop. What did she mean? Yes, you and Peter were close, and maybe you were a little more affectionate than most friends, but so what? You were just touchy by nature, and while Peter wasn’t, he’d grown to be comfortable around you. It wasn’t weird. Or so you thought.

And okay, maybe deep down you’d always harbored some secret confusing feelings for him, but that had no relevance to the situation.

“The whole fake-dating thing seems to be going pretty well,” you said casually as you and Peter did your homework in his room the Friday after you started “dating.”  “People are convinced.”

The two of you were lying on his bed, your feet by his head and vice versa. “Yeah,” he said slowly, putting his book down. “I guess.”

“You guess?” you repeated, lifting your head to look at him. “What do you mean?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I just . . . do you feel like we could be doing more?”

“More? Like what?” you said. Your stomach twisted a little at the idea.

“I—I don’t know, I just overheard Betty saying that it’s weird we don’t kiss or anything, so I just thought . . .” He stopped, swallowing hard and picking up his book again. “Never mind, it’s dumb. It doesn’t matter.”

You were all too aware of your heart beating fast in your chest. “You—you think we should kiss?” you asked. It was a wonder your voice still worked.

“No!” Peter said quickly, looking embarrassed. “Not if you don’t want to. It was weird, I shouldn’t have suggested it—”

“We can,” you interrupted.

He dropped the book, sitting up in a flash. “W-what?”

“We can kiss,” you said, feeling your face flushing, “if you want.”

“I mean, only if you want,” Peter said.

“I . . . I don’t care.”

“Well, neither do I.”

The two of you stared at each other for a second.  “Okay,” Peter finally said. “Do you . . . think we should . . . practice?”

“Right now?” you asked, almost dropping your book on your face.

He nodded. “I mean, just so if we do it in front of people, it won’t look forced or anything. It’ll just look natural.”

“Natural,” you said. “Okay. Sure.” You sat up a little, putting your book to the side. Peter did the same, and slowly the two of you moved forward until you were sitting cross-legged in front of each other, your knees touching.

This was what you’d been thinking about for God-knows-how-long. What would it be like to kiss Peter? The fact that you were about to find out, like, right now made your stomach feel like it was a balloon trying to float away.

Peter was staring at you, looking equal parts terrified and curious, and without warning you rocked forward onto your knees and kissed him. You caught him by surprise, if the tiny noise he made against your lips was any indication, his hands automatically flying to your waist.

It was stiff at first.  It wasn’t your first kiss, and you knew it wasn’t Peter’s either, but you were still struggling to get comfortable and look past the whole best-friend-kissing thing. You tried to focus on the fact that this was the boy you’d loved for ages now, but it only made you more nervous. You tentatively placed your hands on his shoulders, trying not to grip them too hard.

Slowly, you could feel Peter relaxing. This time, it was his turn to startle you by leaning back and opening his legs a little, allowing you to move closer. His lips were warm, moving against yours cautiously, and all you could focus on was Peter, in your space, all around you, everywhere, everything.  

It was only when you heard the front door slam and May’s voice call, “Kids? You in there?” that you jumped apart, moving back to your respective ends of the bed.

“Yeah!” Peter called, his voice cracking a little. “Just doing homework!”

You and Peter looked at each other, both of you blushing furiously. Someone had to say something. “That wasn’t bad,” you said finally.

Peter cracked a grin, and you returned it. “Yeah,” he agreed. “Not bad at all.”

He picked up his book and you picked up yours. The two of you went back to your reading, occasionally knocking your feet against the other’s textbook just to be annoying.

And really, it shouldn’t have been that easy.

* * *

After practicing throughout the weekend, you and Peter decided you were ready to take your PDA public.

So on Monday morning, you stood at your locker, chatting with Michelle and waiting for Peter to come, feeling only slightly nervous. The kisses you’d shared over the weekend had only been short pecks, nothing like the first one on Friday. You couldn’t tell if that made you happy or sad. You also couldn’t tell if it meant something that Peter had suggested you practice some more, or that you’d agreed.

Behind you, someone tapped your shoulder. You turned around, but no one was there. You turned back and were taken by surprise as Peter quickly leaned in to kiss you.

“Hey,” he said with a grin.

“Hey,” you answered, fighting off a blush. You kissed him again, just because you could. Michelle rolled her eyes, but you could tell she was fighting a smile.

“I’m going to class,” she announced.

“The bell didn’t ring yet,” you said.

“I know, but you’re both disgusting, so I’m leaving early. See you later.” With a wave, she turned and walked away.

You laughed and rolled your eyes, turning back to Peter, only to find he was already looking at you. “What?” you said.

“Nothing,” he said, shrugging. “You just . . . you look really nice today.”

You blinked, feeling some color creeping into your cheeks. No one was within earshot, so it couldn’t have been part of the act. “Thanks,” you said finally.

“You’re welcome,” Peter said, suddenly looking very interested in his feet.

You were saved from the awkward moment by the shrill ringing of the bell. “Guess I’d better go to class,” Peter said. “I’ll see you at lunch?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. Oh, wait, by the way: are you still coming over later? I need someone to look over my essay for AP Gov.”

“Is that all I’m good for? Looking over your work?” you asked, pretending to be offended.

He laughed, stepping closer. “Nah, you’re good for some other stuff too.” You rolled your eyes as he kissed you. You knew it was because there were people walking to class around you, but if you closed your eyes, you could pretend that it was just because he wanted to.

* * *

A few weeks went by. You kept waiting for the shoe to drop, for Peter to finally say that you could “break up” and go back to being friends, but he never did.

Instead it continued. You held hands in the hallway, on the train, walking home. You went to the movies and studied and got dinner together. And you kissed, sometimes when people were around, but mostly when they weren’t.

And again, it was strange how normal it felt. You knew there was an elephant in the room that was waiting to be acknowledged, but Peter seemed fine ignoring it, so you did too.

Until one day, you couldn’t. You felt like you were constantly holding your breath, expecting him to announce that your relationship was over any day now. You just had to know.

“Can I ask you a question?” you said, biting your lip. You were lying on Peter’s bed, supposedly doing your homework, while he sat at his desk, probably actually doing his.

He turned around and nodded. “Sure.”

“Do you think it’s weird that people believed you and I were dating so easily?”

He shrugged slowly. “I guess. I mean, we were pretty close before anyway. People probably just assumed we’d get together at some point.”

“Yeah, but Michelle said everyone thought we were dating before we even said anything,” you pointed out.

“Well, I guess we are sort of dating, aren’t we?” Peter asked, and your heart stopped.

“What?” you said in disbelief.

“I mean, we hang out all the time. And we kiss a lot. Isn’t that kinda what dating is?” Peter said.

“I mean, yeah, but—I thought this was fake, just to get Flash off your back!”

“Yeah, it was, but my feelings for you are pretty real. Kinda have been for a while now, so.”

Feelings.

“Oh,” you said softly. Your head felt like it was going to fall off with all of the new information you had to currently process.

“Yeah,” Peter said, nodding like he hadn’t just dropped a Hiroshima-sized bomb on you.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” you asked.

“Seriously? I’d probably throw up everywhere,” Peter said, which probably wasn’t an exaggeration. “Besides, we’re best friends. I didn’t want to ruin it.”

You smiled at him. “So are you saying you want to date me for real?”

He grinned back at you. “Yeah. I liked fake-dating you, but I think it’d be cool to try it for real too.”

You got up and walked over to him, sitting down on his lap and lacing your hands behind his neck. “From friends to fake-dating to real-dating. That’s normally how it goes, right?”

“Who said anything about us being normal?” Peter asked, leaning up to kiss you. You had to agree.

#peter parker #peter parker x reader #spiderman #spiderman x reader #spiderman: homecoming #spider-man: homecoming #peter parker x you #spiderman x you #marvel fanfic #avengers fanfic #marvel imagine #avengers imagine #peter parker fanfic #spiderman fanfic #spiderman imagine #peter parker imagine #peter parker oneshot #spiderman oneshot #avengers oneshot #marvel oneshot #writing

[mojput-mypath]

Is life getting better?///Poboljšava li se život?

WOUNDED HEARTS

The most beautiful poems came out of wounded hearts. Or fulfilled ones. It is that moment when your heart falls into the depths of its own core existence. From the depths it yells, only one cannot hear it well from the outside. Yells, screams even, in pain, or out of love. Both seem painful, torturous, insane.

When I am so filled up with happiness, love and understanding, my heart contracts and cannot handle the greatness. It feels small, not ready. Like a river breaking through a dam; in those first moments the river is unbearably loud and powerful, then slowly calms down.

THE LIFE OF THE LAMPLIGHTER

Unusual is this life that is given to us, that we somehow have deserved to receive. It teaches us via hardship and happiness, sometimes both at the same time. If an event is sad and another not, which one will surface as more powerful? The chains of societal opinion would say: now, when sadness is present, you have no right to be happy, not for a split second. And vice versa, when an event is a happy one, there is no place left to be saddened, even for a moment. Because that is the law. Like the life of the lamplighter in the Little Prince book. That is exactly how our lives work. Life occurs in between fulfilling two orders. If you would to close your eyes for a moment, and not turn on, nor turn off the lamp, an entire world would fall apart. Would it really?

Lamplighter, The Little Prince/Fenjerdžija, Mali Princ

WHAT IS ESSENTIAL IS INVISIBLE TO THE EYE

That would be one side of the coin. The other is the unseen world of feelings, thoughts and intuition. Unusual happenings, small coincidences and the magnificence of nature in its supportive and destructive form. Life is full of small and large miracles, friendships, life and love. Utterly untameable by rules and ideas, wild and free: life in its most wonderous form. Unpredictable, unreasonable, fulfilling. Fairytale-ish, cannot be caught in mere words, thoughts and emotions. Life as it is, naughty, supportive, crazy! It seems to be in vain to try to understand the details of the weave of life that surprises, impresses and loves, yet not to simultaneously see the big picture, one that we all attempt to encompass with our small little minds, in hope to give life an adequate explanation.

SILENCE COURSE

Christmas went by in silence, in the agony of silence, where the darkest thoughts of hate and resentment were obsessing me from beginning to end. At the very end, a small twig that I was could not have resisted the river of blessings, so I came out of silence overwhelmed by a deep peace and forgiveness to myself and others, with love.

Silence course participants/Sudionici tečaja tišine

FOREST WALK

Then I was rewarded: in the form of a very long nature walk, one that won me over completely. The beginning was tough, but very soon it was totally worth it. Truly, nature was incredible that day. For a long time, we found ourselves, symbolically, above the clouds, after that short and steep climb. The view was breath taking and heart stealing. The length of the walk was quite something, together with the darkness on the way back, it reminded me, amongst other things, how resistant I am to every, and the smallest of weaknesses.

Black Forest view/Pogled na Crnu Šumu

WORKING NEW YEAR’S

Then it began. The madness. Rivers of people, dominos of responsibilities, demand and delivery. Days during which “I” completely fades out and the only thing remaining is “What can I do for You?”. These moments of losing the “I”, is an eternally rewarded loss. On one hand it seems insane to work from early morning till late, late at night, when the mind is not able to shut down anymore, overflowing with responsibilities, missions and solutions. And it went on for days. The only breaks being deep meditations with the Teacher. Those moments were the only true rest.

Happy feet resting/Vesele nožice odmaraju

TEACHER’S ERRAND BOY 

I have received a beautiful mission, that seems like an undemanding and simple task: to take requests for meeting the Teacher. Everybody has an important question, an important project, a very important family situation and everybody not only wishes, but NEEDS to have this long-awaited meeting. I was the person to take the requests and then passed the baton to others, who passed it on to the Teacher. As our Teacher is a bit mischievous, no meeting occurred when someone had expected it to, or planned it to happen, but exactly when the timing, place and way was ideal. Nobody had any influence over this, even though our little heads seemed to think we had. The task was simple. Secretarial. Write down the info, let them know when the meeting will happen. Nevertheless, I felt it was an enormous honour. Truly big. You may find it silly, but to me the opportunity to serve my life coach here and now in whatever role, and this particular one gave the impression that I am somehow even closer to him, meant a great deal. I was touched that this task was entrusted to me. I was touched that my colleagues took me into consideration, to the one that thought: Gordana would be excellent for this task. You may think I am overdoing it now, but I assure you, those were my genuine feelings, of deep gratitude and happiness.

3-year old pic with my Teacher/3 godine stara slika s mojim učiteljem

OUT-OF-BODY, OUT-OF-THIS-WORLD EXPERIENCE

The event itself, a 6-day program, counted more that 500 participants plus organisers and guests. A grand hotel hall hosted five hundred people doing consciousness-elevation exercises. Day in and day out the energy kept changing. It started off as chaotic, with heaviness and confusion. Then people slowly relaxed into the environment, and then the sweetest part began: when such an enormous group becomes coherent and starts to feel like a unit. A harmonious unit, built out of many unique units. You could literally see worries leaving every mind and heart. Gratitude, openness and surrender were growing. There was no other choice.

Coming closer to the end, the feeling was quite out of this world. All the participants, organisers and guests started to feel unreal, the barriers and differences amongst us were still showing, but they were no longer felt so much. The desire for the highest became clearer. Once we have left all our tiredness and all our worries behind, when we no longer feel anything, but the simplicity and ease of living, only from that space can we make the right decisions, only that space is the birthplace of intuitive ideas how, empowered, we can create a change in our own state of being, it stops seeming to be unchangeable. Then how can we create change in our vicinity, then in the broader environment. Only after we have been freed from our own burdens and hardships, can we approach to make a conscious change of our patterns, and then, with a fullness of heart, and a lightness in mind, can we spread the light further.

TOP NOTCH CONFUSION

I cannot distinguish any longer: is it that life is becoming better or my attitude is changing in a positive way, and things are, in fact, worse? What is considered to be positive? Comfort? When things go the way I imagine them to or demand them to? What is a truly positive thought and action? To think positively in order to suffocate or quieten every moment of conscious understanding about where you stand in life? I don’t think so. I think positive thoughts have killed even the strongest. A positive action? When friends of animals march for building a safer future? Is fighting against negative things a positive action? Or is that action soiled by putting even more attention to the ugly and negative?

Not to say that we should not think AND act positively, just to be aware of the possibility of losing sight of the actual positivity. To refer to Grindelwald (for Harry Potter fans): “For the greater good.” People have, in the name of the greater good, and continue to, delete countless civilisations and animal species. Believing to have done good, seduced by the power of mind and ego.

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL

Let us not go too much into darkness. Life is much more beautiful than it is cruel. From one extreme to the other, yet Buddha has said a long time ago, to take the middle path. My path might not look very middle-ish, but I seem to be feeling that I am actually going towards staying in the middle for longer periods, even if I keep far from it at other times.

I am going home soon. Excited to see dear people, have a change of air and to have a little part in the worldly affairs. More about all that a little later. Life goes on!

THE FUTURE

If you ask me, and people do, what my intentions are now? I have no intentions whatsoever. I have no plan, no desire/longing, nor intention. Maybe this comes with age, even though it might be too early still for me to be in that age, and maybe I am just tired of desires and am allowing life to take me where it considers to be the best for me, and maybe this state of being is just a passing melancholy that will soon be replaced with new crazy plans and agendas. And maybe not.

WE SHALL SEE!

CROATIAN VERSION / / / HRVATSKA VERZIJA

RANJENIH SRDACA

Najljepše pjesme su došle iz ranjenih srdaca. Ili ispunjenih. Onaj jedan trenutak kada ti srce zapadne u dubinu sebe samog. I iz te dubine viče, samo ga se slabo čuje na van. Viče, dere se kako ga boli, ili kako voli. I jedno i drugo djeluje bolno, izmučeno, suludo.

Kad sam toliko ispunjena srećom i ljubavlju i razumijevanjem, srce mi se stišće i ne podnosi tu veličinu. Malo je, nekako, nespremno, kao kad rijeka probije branu; u taj prvi tren je rijeka nepodnošljivo glasna i jaka, pa se polako umiruje.

ŽIVOT FENJERDŽIJE

Neobičan je ovaj život koji nam je dan, koji smo nečim i nekako zaslužili živjeti. Uči nas mukom i srećom, nekada i istovremeno. Ako je jedan događaj tužan, a drugi veseo, koji će prevagnuti? Okovi društvenog mišljenja reći će: sada, kada je tuga, nemaš prava na sreću, ni sekunde. I tako je i obrnuto: kada je događaj sretan, nema se prava biti ni na tren tužan. Jer je takav zakon. Kao u Malom Princu, život fenjerdžije. Takav je naš cijeli život. Odvija se između dvije naredbe. Ako na tren zatvoriš oči, i ne upališ i ugasiš lampu, cijeli jedan svijet se raspadne.

BITNO JE OČIMA NEVIDLJIVO

To je jedna strana novčića. Druga strana je neviđeni svijet osjećaja, misli i intuicije. Neobičnih događaja, malih slučajnosti, i veličanstvenost prirode u njenom podržavajućem i razarajućem obliku. Život pun malih i velikih čuda, prijateljstava, života, ljubavi. Potpuno neukrotiv bilokakvim odredbama i zamislima, divlji i neobuzdan: život u svom najčudesnijem svjetlu. Nepredvidiv, nerazuman, ispunjavajući. Bajkovit i neuhvatljiv u riječi, misli i emocije. Život takav kakav je, nestašan, podržavajući, nenormalan! Uopće je uzaludno ulaziti u najsitnije tkanje života koji iznenađuje, zadivljuje i voli, a istovremeno ne sagledati ono veliko platno, koje se svi nadamo obuhvatiti svojim malim umovima, nadamo se dati mu adekvatno objašnjenje.

TEČAJ TIŠINE

Božić je prošao u tišini, u agoniji tišine gdje su me najcrnje misli mržnje i zamjeranja opsjedale od početka do samog kraja. Na kraju se mala grančica nije mogla oduprijeti navali rijeke blagoslova, pa sam izašla iz tišine preplavljena dubokim mirom, oprostom sebi i drugima, s ljubavlju.

ŠETNJA ŠUMOM

Dobila sam nagradu u obliku duge šetnje prirodom, koja me sasvim osvojila. Početak je bio naporan, ali se vrlo brzo neviđeno isplatio. Uistinu, priroda je taj dan bila neviđena. Simbolično smo se, dugo vremena, nalazili iznad oblaka nakon kratkog i strmog uspona. Pogled je oduzimao dah i srce. Sama velika dužina šetnje, i mrak po povratku, podsjetili su me, između ostalog, koliko se nemilosrdno opirem svakoj, i najmanjoj, slabosti.

RADNA NOVA GODINA

Onda je počelo. Ludilo. Rijeke ljudi, domina obaveza, potražnja i opskrba. Dani u kojima „ja“ potpuno izblijedi, i postoji samo: „Što mogu učiniti za Vas?“. Gubitak „sebe“ je u tim prilikama beskrajno nagrađen gubitak. S jedne strane djeluje potpuno suludo raditi od najranijeg jutra do kasne, kasne večeri, kad se um više ni noću ne gasi, pretrpan obavezama, zadacima, rješenjima. I tako danima, samo šljaka. Jedine pauze su duboke meditacije s Učiteljem, i to je jedini pravi odmor u tim periodima.

TEKLIČ UČITELJU

Dobila sam prelijep zadatak, sam po sebi djeluje kao nezahtjevan i jednostavan: da primam zahtjeve za susret s Učiteljem. Svatko ima vrlo važno pitanje, vrlo važan projekt, vrlo važnu obiteljsku situaciju i svi ne samo da žele, već MORAJU ostvariti taj dugo-željeni susret. Ja sam bila osoba koja je zaprimala upite, i predavala štafetu drugima u tom nizu do samog Učitelja. Pošto je naš Učo nestašan, nijedan sastanak se nije dogodio kad je itko to predviđao, očekivao ili planirao, nego samo onda kada je bilo apsolutno idealno vrijeme, mjesto i način da se susret odigra. Tu nitko nije imao nikakvog utjecaja, iako se malim glavama možda činilo da jesmo. Zadatak je sam po sebi djelovao jednostavno. Tajnički. Zapiši podatke, javi kad je sastanak. Ipak, za mene je to bila ogromna čast. Uistinu velika. Možda drugima zvuči smiješno, ali meni je prilika da služim svom životnom učitelju tu i sada u kakvoj god ulozi, a ova je odavala dojam da sam mu ipak nekako bliže, značila neopisivo mnogo. Bila sam dirnuta što mi je taj zadatak dan na povjerenje. Dirnuta kolegama koji su me uzeli u obzir, onome koji je pomislio: Gordana bi bila odlična za ovaj zadatak. Možda ti se čini da pretjerujem, ali uvjeravam te, to su bili moji osjećaji, duboke zahvalnosti i sreće.

ISKUSTVO VAN TIJELA, VAN SVIJETA

Sam događaj, 6-dnevni program, je brojao iznad 500 sudionika + organizatori + gosti. U velikoj dvorani hotela, šest punih dana preko 500 ljudi je zajedno radilo vježbe za podizanje svijesti. Iz dana u dan se energija mijenjala. Otpočelo je kaotično, s težinom i zbunjenošću. Zatim su se svi polako opustili i smjestili, a onda je počeo najslađi dio. Kada tako velika grupa odjednom postane koherentna i počne se osjećati kao jedinka. Sasvim usklađena jedinka sazdana od mnogo jedinstvenih jedinki. U zraku su maltene moglo vidjeti kako brige napuštaju svaki um, svako srce. Kako raste zahvalnost, otvorenost, prepuštanje. Nije bilo izbora.

500 ljudi na Sanyam tečaju/500 participants on the Sanyam course

Na kraju je osjećaj bio sasvim vanzemaljski. Svi sudionici, organizatori i gosti počeli su djelovati nestvarno, barijere i razlike su se vidjele, ali se nisu više osjećale. Želja za najvišim se u svakom srcu neumoljivo prikazala. Kad ostavimo sav umor, i sve brige sa strane, i kada ne osjećamo više ništa, nego jednostavnost i lakoću življenja, jedino iz tog prostora možemo donositi ispravne odluke, jedino iz tog prostora dolaze intuitivne, prirodne ideje o tome kako možemo osnaženi promijeniti svoje stanje koje nam prestaje djelovati nepromjenjivim, i onda kako možemo promijeniti i one stvari u našoj najbližoj blizini, a zatim i u široj i sve široj okolini. Jedino oslobođeni vlastitog tereta i muke, možemo pristupiti svjesnoj promjeni svojih obrazaca, a zatim, punog srca, i olakšanog uma možemo širiti svjetlo dalje.

ZBUNJENOST NAJVIŠE KLASE

Više ne prepoznajem: da li se život uistinu poboljšava, ili se samo moj stav okreće sve više ka pozitivnom, a sve je u stvari, samo sve gore? Što je to pozitivno? Ugoda? Kad stvari idu onako kako ja zamišljam ili tražim da budu? Što je uistinu pozitivna misao i akcija? Misli samo pozitivno kako bi zatomio i ugušio svaki trenutak svjesnosti o realnosti stvari? Ne bih rekla. Mislim da su pozitivne misli uništile i najjače. Pozitivna akcija? Kad prijatelji životinja marširaju u želji za izgradnjom bolje sutra? Je li pozitivna akcija borba protiv negativne? Ili je i ta akcija isprljana stavljanjem pažnje na ružno i negativno?

Ne kažem da ne treba misliti i djelovati pozitivno, već smatram da treba biti svjestan i tog možda naizgled pozitivnog stava. Da se pozovem na Grindelwalda (za Harry Potter fanove): „U ime najvećeg dobra“. U ime najvećeg dobra su ljudi izbrisali nebrojene civilizacije i životinjske vrste. Misleći da rade dobro, zavedeni snagom uma i ega.

ŽIVOT JE LIJEP

No nećemo brijat negativu. Život je ljepši, nego što je okrutniji. Od jedne i druge krajnosti, Buddha je odavno rekao da treba ići srednjim putem. Možda moj put nije naočigled srednji, ali meni se čini da sve više idem prema tome da se što duže zadržim u sredini, čak i kad sam od nje daleko.

Uskoro idem kući. Veselim se najviše ljudima, promjeni zraka, a zatim i malo više svjetovnim podvizima. O tom po tom. Život ide dalje!

BUDUĆNOST, PIH

Ako me pitaš, a pitaju me ljudi, što namjeravam sada? Ne namjeravam apsolutno ništa. Nemam ni plan, ni želju/žudnju, ni namjeru. Možda to dolazi s godinama, iako mi je možda i prerano za te neke godine, a možda sam se umorila od želja i napokon pomalo puštam život da me vodi gdje on smatra da je najbolje, a možda je ovo stanje samo trenutna mala melankolija koja će vrlo brzo biti zamijenjena nekim novim suludim planovima i smjerovima. Možda i ne.

VIDJET ĆEMO!

Napokon na velikoj pozornici/Finally hitting the big stage

#gordana tihomirovic #personal blog #sri sri ravi shankar #positive thoughts

[hsj-scenarios]

The Ryosukekeke Saga  Continues...

Mod J had not checked her inbox, phone, and messages in a while, mostly avoiding messages from the OG who continued to vacillate between out of control anger with threats and swear words, and completely broken sobbing, pleading. That said, she finally felt brave enough to take a look--we peek into her world as she skims through the hundreds of messages...

Eighteen days ago:

Ryosuke:

I see what you all have done! （；¬＿¬) Who is this...this.... @keito-okamoto person? A new Mod? Is that what it is? AND MOD L!!!!!!! OMG WOULD YOU LOOK AT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (☞◣д◢)☞

Ryosuke:

Mod L (╬ಠ益ಠ)  backing up this person, this @keito-okamoto person, plus I never settled on the ‘OG’ title. Still! What, did you guys bring on a new mod for the express purpose of disparaging my character? Honestly, I’d like to talk about this. 

And the fact that you’ve changed your password Mod J. 

⁀⊙﹏☉⁀ WTF

I thought we had an agreement. I’m so put out with you I am going to avoid any song with your name in it from now on. Seriously, I’m making someone else sing my lines--and when I say “I love you, Juliet” I am talking to every other Juliet in the world, but NOT YOU!!!!!!!!! 

（￣へ￣）

Mod J: ( responding two and a half weeks later)

ILY. That’s not the new mod, that’s Mod C, your paranoia is on high alert,  you need to simmer down now. Look no one is even talking about this anymore! I won’t even be at the concerts, so I don’t care what you do at them......you’re such a toddler.

17 Days Ago:

Ryosuke: 

WTF is this!?! (; ･`д･´) I thought ( •̀ω•́ )σ you were going to talk to Mod L to get her back on my side! Instead of putting this entire debacle to rest, she is fanning the flames. That quote is taken entirely out of context. It’s absurd and it might even be defamation, or libel, or something, hell, I’m no lawyer. But I DO keep one on retainer--your blog may be hearing from him. 

（　｀ー´）OG OUT! 

Mod J:  (2 minutes after two and a half weeks later)

Ah, see I never said that, ever--you said it...a thousand times, but I never said it or agreed to it. I told you that you needed to take it up with them, because I am NOT your messenger. I’m sure this quote IS out of context, the same way you screaming “Mommy” while on the roller coaster was. I didn’t know Kekeke was such a gifted ventriloquist! *sarcasm off*

15 Days Ago:

Ryosuke: 

Tell Mod L she at least got this s*** right. (*´ー`)

OMG-- @(。・-・)@ your blog is a three ring circus lacking a f***ing ringmaster on it’s best day--on its worst it’s like one of those zoos on Zoo Tycoon where they build this huge zoo, with hundreds of thousands of patrons, and then start feeding the pedestrians to the dinosaurs--or just let all of the carnivorous animals loose. 

へ‿(ツ)‿ㄏ Either way. 

Still, factually speaking, if I were to be a courtesan this is absolutely and unequivocally true. I would be the best, I would win it all, and I would f***ing crush everyone else out of the competition with my prowess.

╭( ･ㅂ･)و ̑̑ ＂

I want more about me, and this, who am I making the check out to?

(also, I’m gonna beat the hell out of Chinen for putting a d*** filter on my computer now!) （○｀Ｏ´○）

(also, wtf Mod J, ༶ඬ༝ඬ༶ why you gotta bring that up? Am I no longer your number one?)

Mod J:  (5 minutes after two and a half weeks later)

I just...no comment. (yes, you are still my no 1! mmmwah)

11 Days Ago:

Ryosuke: 

I see you’ve closed the requests. <(_ _)> Thank GOD! I know there are at least fifty requests that I sent in about me, which have not been filled to date. Now maybe you can put some quality material out about ME! Please, Mod J, it’s been so long, so long....I’m so sad all the time. I can’t even handle and we’re on tour and I need happy happy happy--give me the happy please!? 

.·´¯`(>▂<)´¯`·.PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU.

BTW, why aren’t you responding to me? 

｡･ﾟヾ(✦థ ｪ థ)ﾉ｡ﾟ･｡

I’ve left messages on your cell phone, your house phone, your email (both), Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook, Linked In, Live Journal, and of course, here. I even got a hold of your neighbor and asked them to tell you to contact me, and if they didn’t I need to know, I gave them a lot of money to do that.

((*｀ﾟдﾟ)ゞ PLEASE SHOW MERCY ON ME!

(and I didn’t even catch the kiss, didn’t even watch it come near me, I swatted it away with great force!)

8 Days Ago:

Ryosuke:

This fill was strangely accurate. Terrifyingly so. Pls stop. (⁎˃ᆺ˂)

(；´･Д･)(where are you Juliet?)

6 Days Ago:

Ryosuke:

Mod J, I am going to need you to help me out here. ヽ(ﾟДﾟ)ﾉ  I’m not even kidding, okay? I need you to be f***ing serious right now, cause I am in dire need of your help! 

( ⚆ _ ⚆ )

How much do you know about this “Mod L” person? ( ⁰д⁰) Cause...well...I mean, I had a detective come into my house looking for hidden cameras and taps. Paranoid? Nope, realistic, because this is too much like a genuine conversation I actually had with Yutti. I’m freaking out right now. ヽ〔ﾟДﾟ〕丿 Could Mod L be a spy? Could Mod L be someone close to Jump? Could Mod L be someone IN JUMP!?!?! <|๑⊙Д⊙|/

OMG!  ε=ε=(怒ﾟДﾟ)ﾉ

Please help! Σ(ﾟДﾟ;≡｀ﾟдﾟ)

Mod J  (7 minutes after two and a half weeks later)

You do need help, but not the kind I can offer. Yama-chan, this is all just fiction, not your actual real life. I mean, if you need us to, we’ll put a disclaimer like those movies where it says anything resembling a real life event or person is strictly coincidental. But still...Mod L isn’t in Jump. 

You’re just really not as complex as you think you are to be honest. I mean, how do you think we all write you so accurately? 

Ryosuke: (2 seconds after the response from Mod J)

Is that an insult? (｡•́︿•̀｡) I’m dizzy again, I mean the world is tilting sideways, why have you forsaken me Mod J?! 

.·´¯`(>▂<)´¯`·.

Why!? 

6 Days Ago:

Ryosuke and Daiki’s friendship in one gif:

Ryosuke:

Yes.

Not gonna lie, I was drinking a soda when I scrolled past this and it literally came out of my nose. It  hurt.  

Still...｜ｏ゜）Accurate. Terrifyingly accurate. ヘ（。□°）ヘ TOO accurate. I am still leaning toward my hypothesis. Until you offer me proof, anything is possible. Still, I’m for sure the guy in yellow. 

⁀⊙﹏☉⁀ Right? Right??

5 Days Ago:

Ryosuke: 

YES. (it wasn’t me I swear!)

4 Days Ago:

Management: Okay guys, I know Dear was a great outlet to show your sexy sides but we kind of want I/O to be a little more PG.

Ryosuke:

The actual conversation was “Guys, this is going to be a tour with a lot of children attending so we are going to need to keep the atmosphere ‘family friendly’ this time.”

Just to be clear, they were sure as hell staring straight at me while they said it, and you know, that just makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up like someone’s challenging me right up here in my dojo. 

So I plainly responded, “F*** you, how’s that for family friendly?”

Actually, that didn’t really happen, okay, so it did in my head though and that should count for something. That said, an intelligent conversation took place and they decided it would be wisdom to allow us to perform what we wanted.

ヽ( ･∀･)ﾉ┌┛Σ(ノ `Д´)ノ 

(If Dai-chan or Chii-chan contact you and tell any lies about me pitching a fit and crying and threatening to quit because the world NEEDS my “ah ah ahhhs”, please hear them as the blatant and bold-faced lies they are!)

4 Days Ago:

Ryosuke:

This is true, except it really wasn’t Keito. (>^_^)><(^o^<) He’s been going through a lot lately--and you know...no matter how selfish you guys seem to think I am, I have a heart for the guy! (ps I meant love, not give-- (; ･`д･´)  I can’t write the word f*** on my phone but it can apparently feel the f*** free to change my non-swear words at will!)

3 Days Ago:

Ryosuke: 

This isn’t a good thing--it’s still being talked about. 

(ノ｀Д´)ノ~┻━┻

STILL BEING TALKED ABOUT! 

This is a bad thing. Stop them--don’t you have any power or control Mod J? What are you DOING about all of this!?! First it was the bane of my existence the BPA, I can’t f***ing drive anywhere now, because everyone apparently knows what car I drive! I mean, let’s be honest, I stand out anyway, so I mean the car--I mean, f***, I’m getting off track--listen, this same person is...just, now they’re saying they did the Kekeke thing too? 

┻━┻ ︵ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ︵ ┻━┻

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY TIMES THAT MAN HAS LEFT MESSAGES ON MY CELL PHONE CACKLING MADLY!? All hours of the day and night I tell you! 

Щ(º̩̩́Дº̩̩̀щ) Can’t you ban them? For me? Please?! I’ll say “I love you Juliet” and mean you, only you in all the world of all of the girls named Juliet! 

(/□＼*)・゜PLEASE.

3 Days Ago:

Ryosuke:

Please? 。ﾟ(ﾟﾉД｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡

3 Days Ago:

Ryosuke:

(ɔˆ ³(ˆ⌣ˆc) I LOVE YOU JULIET! PLEASE 

・゜・(ノД`) PLEASE PLEASE!??!?!!? (｡♥‿♥｡)

2 Days Ago:

Ryosuke:

(⊙_☉) What the actual F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!? F***ing hell! This is insane. You’re all crazy. (⊙.☉)7

ꉂ (๑¯ਊ¯)σ л̵ʱªʱªʱª (ps I sent this to Takaki--and now he’s mad at me because I wouldn’t tell him where it came from! lolololololol)

2 Days Ago:

Ryosuke:

Less food network, more writing about me. (´｀;) ？What has happened to your blog?

YOU STILL AREN’T ANSWERING ME!?!? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??

2 Days Ago:

Ryosuke:

Did I do something? (′︿‵｡) Did I? (´•ω•̥`) I can’t fix it if you won’t talk to me.

2 Days Ago:

Ryosuke:

This is both alarming at how accurate it is (again!) and that you guys paint me to be some kind of control freak who can’t handle a relationship without knowing every intimate detail of someone’s life. 

...

...

Well, it’s still alarming how accurate it is anyway. 

I’m hiring a bodyguard.

I quit you. ~(>_<。)＼

1 Day Ago:

HS7 @ the 113th 1130000000000000th time that Chinen mentioned Ohno: 

Ryosuke:

I fixed this for you.

(I can’t quit you, please, you guys gotta still love me, okay!? I didn’t mean it!)

1 Day Ago:

Keito after he watched Ryosuke’s kissing scene 4 84 times, twelve times while Ryosuke was in the room with him begging him not to.

Ryosuke:

I fixed this for you.

1 Day Ago:

Yuto: Date someone who will drag you outside at 3am to look at the stars :)

Ryosuke: If anyone, and I mean /anyone/, wakes me up at 3am to go look at the damn sky without sexual gratification in some way, shape, or form they will be removed indefinitely from my life.

Ryosuke:

I fixed this for you. Just saying, I love to sleep but c’mon. Just...c’mon!

Mod J:  (12 minutes after two and a half weeks later)

Bless your heart. Just...bless it.

Ryosuke:  (20 seconds later)

Are you patronizing me? ｢(ﾟﾍﾟ)

Mod J:

No, I really want your heart to be very blessed, you’ve worked yourself up into a frenzy, haven’t you? Deep breath, everything is fine, people are all about Yuya and the salad ship now, you know? Kekeke will get tired of paying us to torture you, and everything will go back to normal, with our blog filled with lots of stories that make you look like the amazing guy you really are! Just take a deep breath, it’s all going to be okay! I’ll take good care of you from here!

Ryosuke:

ヾ(;ﾟ;Д;ﾟ;)ﾉﾞYou promise?

Mod J:

I promise.

Ryosuke:

(‘∀’●)♡ ILY Juliet.

Juliet:

ILY2 (´∀｀)♡

Today:

Ryosuke: 

Mod J, I take back everything! I just saw that the person who started all of this Ryosukekeke craziness is the one who was in Paris! 

(‘∀’●)♡ Listen, I was terrified, being in a foreign country, facing so many fans, and not sure what the reception would be. I’m used to facing those kinds of challenges with the other Jump members, not by myself--there’s always been a level of security in having everyone there, you know? But this time, I was all alone...

So here I was feeling so alone and worried and afraid and then there was this lovely fan, smiling, and happy, and overjoyed--holding this uchiwa that said “Ryosukekeke” and I swear, I laughed so hard! I really did!

It was this bright shining moment, and the fan was so lovely--a happy smile in the midst of so much trepidation--and there was such peace to be found in the idea that there was at least one fan there who wasn’t going to approach me from the perspective that I was Japanese ( ´△｀) and not whatever nationality they wanted Ed to be (despite it being fictional), who wasn’t going to come at me from the thought that I couldn’t possibly be good enough, ฅ(๑’Δ’๑) that our team couldn’t pull it off, that I was going to fail the collective FMA fandom.

That one fan was going to be there to see me, ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ Yamada Ryosuke, and not just as the Idol from Jump either! But as the ~ヾ(＾∇＾) PERSON I really am--as there’s no show that proves more about who I am genuinely than our own show does! That fan watched the show enough to know about my love/hate relationship with Kekeke--and you know what? 

d=(´▽｀)=b I’ll go through anything to give back to that fan, even suffer through months of ridicule from my members, and incessant phone call messages from Kekeke, and even having a lot of posts on your blog that make fun of me! Because, there’s no way I can say, not for one second, that my feelings are more important than that single fan’s happiness. 

（⌒▽⌒ゞ Not for one second.

To my Dear @sekairiinu, (ɔˆ ³(ˆ⌣ˆc) my “Ryosukekeke” fan--thank you for being a bright light in a sea of uncertainty. 

（*’∀’人）♥ I pay my respects with my embarrassment gladly! 

--OG

PS I am still not so sure about your Mod L. Can you give me definitive proof that she ISN’T someone in Jump?!

#Hey! Say! JUMP #Yamada Ryosuke #hey say jump #drabble #ryosukekeke #Mod J #I didn't check the dates but the posts are in the right order #prompt fill

[oldcringeuser]

Loved You|Corbyn Besson

(We are just going to pretend Christina doesn’t exist in this imagine oops sorry Christina ily)

————-

“Hey, beauties! It’s your girl, (y/n), and today I’m going to a Why Don’t We concert to visit an old friend. Beth and I should be leaving in about an hour. I still need to finish my makeup and hair, but I wanted to show you guys my outfit. I think it’s so cute! Well, I’ll see you guys at the concert… through the screen or something. Haha!” I turn off my camera and set it on my white bed. Beth walks in, looking hotter than ever. I can’t lie, I have always been a little jealous of her beauty.

“Hey, hot stuff,” I begin to curl my hair. She just laughs a little and sits on my bed. Beth had been one of my best friends since middle school, so we are both going to see our friend. Well, old friend. Corbyn and I were close as two people could get, but something happened. It tore us apart, and we shouldn’t have let that happen. I think about him all the time. I don’t think I’ve ever missed someone so much. That’s why I’m going to see him today.  I just hope he’s happy to see me.

—

We walk into the building filled with teenage girls. They’re all either in merch or in a super cute outfit, like me and Beth. We tried to get there early so we could get really close. Hoping that Corbyn would see us. Luckily, we got into the second row of people.

About thirty mintutes of vloging later, the show begins and my heart is pumping. All the boys walk out and the screams are insanely loud. I see Corbyn, but he doesn’t see me. I wait for the screams to die down before I yell, “Corbyn!”

~Corbyn’s Pov~

“Corbyn!” I hear from a voice that’s too familiar. My head immediately snaps to her. (y/n) is in the crowd of my show, looking more beautiful than I remember her to be. My heart is beating so fast and time has seemed to stop. She’s smiling and waving at me, but I stay frozen. My wide eyes can’t move from the girl I have been avoiding for two years. The girl who broke my heart.

I’m so caught up in thought I miss my cue to start singing. Jack elbows me and I quickly sing with the rest of the boys, pretending i’m not about to have a breakdown.

~Your Pov~

I waved and smiled, but he just stared at me. A few girls look at me with a confused look. I can’t tell if this is a good or bad thing. Guess I’ll find out after the concert.

—

As everyone begins to leave, Beth and I head backstage where we bought passes to. Once we get there the boys are all posing for a picture with another fan. We seemed to be last in line, which is actually what I was hoping for.

We walk up to the boys and Corbyn just stares at me again. Daniel puts his hand on my shoulder, getting my attention. I look at him and, of course, he had a smile on his face.

“Hey, what’s your name?” he asks me.

I glance at Corbyn, who’s now looking at his feet, and then answer, “I’m (y/n).”

“(y/n)?” Daniels face falls and he turns to Corbyn, “This is her?”

Corbyn just nods without looking up. All the boys start to look at me, making me really insecure.

“Hey, guys can you stop staring at her like that? It’s kind of rude,” Beth snaps.

“Sorry,” Zach says, “We have just heard so much about you.”

My eyebrows furrow and I look at Corbyn, “You talk about me?”

He finally looks up, “Yeah. You were a big part in my life, (y/n), why wouldn’t i?”

“I don’t know,” I start, “You kinda dropped me like I was a stranger. Especially when I needed you the most.”

He scoffs, “I left you? That’s how you remember it?”

I look at the others, embarrassed this was happening in front of them. I could tell Beth was about to blow up on him, but I shook my head to her. I want to hear his side.

“Well, how do you remember it, Corb?” I ask.

“I remember being in love with you for five years. I remember getting dragged to a party because I’d do anything you’d ask me to. Anything. I remember us having our very first kiss at that party. I remember how good it felt. Imagining our future if maybe being a couple. Thinking ‘This is a night I will always remember’. And I was right. Cause I remember you hooking up with a fuckboy thirty minutes later. I remember you walking into school with him, instead of me. I remember you canceling all our plans, because you wanted to hang out with him. I remember the pain I got everyday, waiting for your text to say you love me, not him. And I got tired of waiting, (y/n). I got tired of not being the one with you. It hurt to know he put you in pain, and I am sorry for not being there for that, but you distanced yourself from me. That’s how I remember it.”

His eyes were red, the tears sliding down his face. Jonah puts his hand on Corbyn’s shoulder, to show support. I didn’t realize till now that I was crying, too. I never knew how he felt. I feel like the worst person on earth.

“I am so sorry,” is all I can think of to say. Beth rubs my back to comfort me. It makes me feel even worse, though. I don’t deserve her to comfort me.

“Is that all?” he asks.

“I really am sorry. I was a shitty friend. I shouldn’t have let him come between us. I shouldn’t have done that to you. God, I’m so fucking sorry, Corbyn. I had no idea you felt that way. I loved you, too. Maybe we could fix this and give us a try?” I walk closer.

But he stepped back, “(y/n), we loved each other. With a D. I think it should stay that way.”

I bite my lip to avoid sobbing. This all hurt like hell. Now I know how he has felt for so long.

“I guess I should leave now,” I turn around. Beth puts her arm around me as we walk out. I knew this was going to be the last time I see him, so I look back for one last glance. I see a blurred picture of him, due to my tears. I’m going to miss him even more than before.

(a/n: SORRY ITS A SAD ENDING FOR MY FIRST ONE but i felt like it had to be done. if you really want i can make a part two with a happy ending?)

#why don't we #why don't we imagines #imagine #corbyn besson #corbyn besson imagine #jack avery #jonah marais #daniel seavey #zach herron