#he learned from the best leader ;u;

[bap-ftw]

heartwarming words from Jongup towards leader Junseo and his team. 💝

#b.a.p #jongup #being the sweetheart he is #💚 #he learned from the best leader ;u; #peak time #bae173 #junseo #**

[gehtsis]

tumblr pokemon evil team grunt simulator

🐀 rattatarocket2

Just heard the news about giovanni disbanding team rocket and honestly. i wish him the best. its very important to take a break when you're surrounded by such a toxic environment.. good luck boss o7

🐝 beedrillizluv

wasn't team rocket the terrorist organization that's been going around kanto for like a while now up until recently

🐀 rattatarocket2

Fuck you

#this is what i was talking about. suddenly mental health just doesn't matter if ur a team leader?? #whatever. yall will learn your lesson eventually

1574 notes

🌋 numelbumel

our super cool boss just told us that he found a funny looking orb to finally revive groudon to get his master plan in motion! I haven't seen groudon before, so I can't wait!

🌋 numelbumel

What the fuck is that

#hoenn #important #its so damn hot too #oh god

32,478 notes

🌌 galaxybronzong

look dude im sure that cyrus's goal is important but why does he look like that lmao. dude's 27 but he looks 70. professor rowan looking ass

🐈 megapurugly

hey grunt can you head over to cyrus's office real quick. he says he needed something from you real quick

🌌 galaxybronzong

okay hold on

🌌 galaxybronzong

It's So Cold Here

96k notes

🌉 formerplasmawill

neo plasma? more like neo pissma. ghetsis is an old bastard and if he tries to do this conquering stuff again then he should be put in old folks home. working under him sucked

⬛️ shadowtriad1

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🔬 magnetone-magnezone

100k notes

#pokemon #team rocket #team magma #team galactic #team plasma

[wooahaes]

feel me

pairing: non-idol!han x gn!reader, some non-idol!felix x gn!reader

genre: angst with a happy ending. slight fluff.

word count: ~21k

warnings: angst with a happy ending. mutual pining that’s fully believed to only be one-sided by both parties. temporary relationship with felix. heartbreak. no communication at one part after jisung ghosts reader for almost three weeks. big brother-figure chris having serious talks with reader. fluff in certain parts, though. food mentions. hyunjin is kinda ready to throw down at one point tbh.

daisy’s notes: title origin from the golden child song bc the lyrics kinda fit haha <3 anyway rewrite of this old thing!! also sorry felix but if u get the sequel fic i'm thinkin of... u will be happy <3

Most people looked at the friendship you had with Chris and assumed that he was your best friend. The two of you had grown up down the road from one another, after all, and that had been why you ended up befriending one another. His family all knew you by name and knew all of your favorites (because Chris had learned them first and made sure everyone knew them), and they all watched you follow Chris around like a duckling when you were small. Pictures of the two of you littered the walls of both your childhood home and his, all from vacations your families had taken together. Plus your parents always made enough food for Chris on any given day, since he always found his way over for dinner at the most random times. If anything, Chris was family to you now, the big brother you never had (and, occasionally when he was being a little overly affectionate, he was your big bother). Before college, Chris Bang was one-hundred-percent your best friend…

Until you met Han Jisung on the first day of freshman orientation.

Sure, the reason you came to this school was partially because you knew you’d have a friend in the area (you liked the literature program a lot more), but things changed the day you met Jisung. The two of you had been a little wary of the other people in your group, all bragging about how they wouldn’t let anyone stop them from the party life they were craving. On one hand, you kind of admired the tenacity that took… but on the other, they were the rowdy bunch out of all the groups that were around. Even though you weren’t much of a party person, your annoyance at the time firmly came from the fact you were sinking so much money into this school—even without the financial aid and scholarships you’d managed to get. Partying was fun, but denying everything in favor of it? You couldn’t wrap your head around it.

And, apparently, neither could Jisung. He’d been separated from his friends, all in the same orientation group without him, and looked a little lost. You quietly moved your chair over to him after you grew annoyed with two people hardcore flirting with one another and ignoring the poor orientation leader who was just trying to tell you all about the general education program. He’d looked up at you, and you introduced yourself to him quietly—trying not to catch the attention of your orientation leader. She was too busy waiting for the novelty of it all to die down for a minute so she could do her job, so… Why not take the chance to introduce yourself to him?

He’d gazed at you for a moment behind his glasses, pushing them up the bridge of his nose a moment later. “Han,” he’d said in a quiet voice. Then he cleared his throat, speaking a little louder, “I’m Han Jisung. Music management and music composition major.”

Already, you were impressed by him. Chris was in the music program himself, and you’d heard about how rigorous it could be at times—especially with the heavy course load that came from both programs. Chris had gone into it because he was… Well, he was Chris. Chris who was on the swim team and in the theater and the band and somehow found time to do community service, too. Jisung was a stranger to you in all the best ways, someone who already intrigued you. When you told him your own major, he had nodded along, no push to question your future career.

“Is that what you like?” He’d asked instead. “Books?”

It was one part of what you liked, at least. You nodded. “Do you love music?”

He’d smiled at you, and it was as if he’d become a different person for a moment. “It’s my passion,” he’d said, voice clear and bolder than before.

That had been what the two of you ended up talking about until your orientation leader managed to get control of the group again. She’d finally been given the go-ahead to give you a tour of campus, and you noticed that Jisung had decided to stick with you near the back of the group. He never said anything then, the two of you opting to listen to your leader instead, but you saw the tiny smile on his face when you were walking through the music floor of the arts building. Once you were released from your schedule for the day, he’d kept glancing at you, as if unsure of what he was about to do. Then he finally stepped up, holding up his phone.

“My friends and I are getting coffee off campus,” he said. “Do you want to come?”

That had been the moment that solidified the two of you as friends. You had happily agreed, exchanging numbers on the way as he told you about his friends. There was Felix, who he said was a sweetheart. Everyone loved Felix, and you’d eventually realize in time just how true that was. Hyunjin could be charismatic, although sometimes he could be a little sharp-tongued with people. Apparently, he and Jisung once hated each other before getting over their school rivalry—you’d never understand it, but everyone swore by it. And then there was Seungmin, who was witty and funny in all the best ways. The group seemed to accept you into their circle pretty quickly, and you honestly contributed that to Jisung…

Who you very quickly learned was incredibly funny in his own right. With the orientation group and with you alone, he’d been quieter. Polite and sweet as he could be. Yet you saw the way he loosened up over time when with his friends, genuinely funny and a bit louder with them. Maybe that was why you would end up clicking with him so well: he was versatile, conscious of the mood and finding a way to fit it well. You saw the way he seemed to naturally return to a quieter state when on his own, and you were happy to match that energy any day. 

When you returned to your dorm that day, Chris had been waiting for you. He’d watched you part ways with your new friends and decided to celebrate by squeezing the life out of you.

“You’re making friends!” He giggled, and it suddenly reminded you of the loving way your step-mom always treated you. He swayed with you, never letting you go. “You’re growing up!” 

This was definitely something he was reporting to your parents. Not that you cared: his family asked for you to look out for him, too, and you fully intended to follow through on the request. He’d already been giddy when you showed him your acceptance letter and announced you’d picked the school (he’d nearly squeezed the life out of you that day, too), gushing about how he’d have to introduce you to Minho and Changbin. That was why he’d been waiting for you that day, actually: the four of you were getting dinner together, Chris’s treat. The two of you had decided to call off any embarrassing stories (both of you had plenty of ammunition, the same way that both of his siblings had even more on you both), and you’d spent that dinner realizing just how much love you had for Chris.

That was why you had agreed to live with him come sophomore year. Regardless of whether he was being a brother figure or a bother figure, you’d agreed quickly when he gave you his clearly premeditated offer of taking the open room in his apartment. His old roommate had just moved out, and Chris apparently told him he “already had someone interested” when he brought the topic up to begin with. So he helped you carry your boxes into the apartment and the two of you enjoyed your takeout that night, giddy to be close once again. He’d invited Minho and Changbin over that night, too, to toast to your first day of living with Chris. It was at that point that you decided to introduce Jisung to them, inviting him over, too. 

Things came together from there. Minho recognized Jisung from a photo that Felix had shown him while he (and Hyunjin) were sitting around before dance practice started. Seungmin ended up getting pulled into the group through association with the rest of you, and it was you and Seungmin who pulled Jeongin into this circle. He’d been in your general education classes, and he seemed to get along pretty well with Seungmin. Seungmin introduced you to Jeongin, and you introduced Jeongin to the group, and everyone seemed to fit together in this sweet way. Even with all of you having friends of your own, you always seemed to come back to one another when times were rough.

By some stroke of luck, Hyunjin and Seungmin ended up moving in a few doors down from you and Chris. Despite Seungmin’s very vocal complaints (always made with love… you were pretty sure, at least), both of them seemed glad to have familiar faces nearby. The two always seemed to drop in when Chris was making dinner, always telling some story about their own lives. You realized that your stories almost always had Jisung and Felix in them after Seungmin pointed it out to you one night.

When did you start spending so much time with Felix? Jisung was naturally there because he was your best friend (officially now: the two of you had matching beaded bracelets you’d made for one another just to rub it in). But Felix…

Chris had picked up on how quiet you’d grown that night. But he waited to bring the topic up until one Saturday when the two of you were alone. He’d passed you the bowl of popcorn he’d made once before throwing himself onto the other end of the couch. “So. You and Felix...” 

You rolled your eyes. Your love life had always been pretty off-limits as a topic to anyone but Chris, and he was fully going to take advantage of that, wasn’t he? He’d given you a few much-needed days to figure out how you felt, and they were… Well, far from platonic. Felix was sweet as he could be, and you’d become so, so endeared to him when he started showing up to your apartment with baked goods. Everyone loved Felix, and you weren’t sure when your love for Felix became more than what it was before. Long before senior year, that was certain: every time you tried to pinpoint a beginning, you found yourself moving it further and further back to something else he’d done.

“I’m just curious!” Chris chuckled. “You always deny feeling anything for Jisung—I should have known it was Felix the entire time!”

Despite having the urge to, you didn’t roll your eyes that time. Your feelings for Jisung weren’t important. Not when he was your best friend, and having them would jeopardize that. Han Jisung did not love you the way you’d begun to love him, and you were more than happy to ignore that crush. It’d go away eventually once you stopped fantasizing about what a relationship with him would look like. And if it didn’t… Well, you’d figure that out when you came to it.

“You should go for it,” Chris said, shifting so he was slightly closer to you. “Felix is a good kid! He’s nothing like the last guy you dated—”

Oh, not this shit again. There was a reason you hadn’t dated in a while, and Chris was too aware of it. He’d been ready to get into a fist fight and call your friends as back-up. “Christopher—”

He ignored the use of your birth name, “I mean it. That guy was gross, and you deserve better than someone who thinks you should move in with them after a few weeks because living with a guy you aren’t dating is ‘weird.’” 

That had only been part of the reason you dumped the guy. You’d never told Chris any other parts because you knew what he’d say. Your ex hated Jisung because of how close the two of you were, and you weren’t going to date some insecure loser who thought he could control who you hung out with. He’d always been “fine” with the rest of your friends (begrudgingly so), but he’d targeted Jisung for some reason. Jisung was always too close to you, or he was too soft when around other people, or he was “obviously” in love with you and you were too blind to see it. If you’d let him take Jisung out of your life, you knew he’d eventually move on to someone else. It’d be Jeongin, and then Felix, and then Hyunjin… It had taken a while for you to realize it and accept it, but it was just a gateway for him to control you and your life. When you ended things with him, you told him he needed to grow the fuck up because you’d never ask him to do the things he was pressuring you to do. 

When you told Jisung that same day that you broke up with him, he’d watched you curiously for a minute. When you didn’t cry or say anything further, he smiled at you and asked if you wanted to celebrate. Jisung had treated you out for dinner that night, telling you about how he’d always thought you could do better. That guy hadn’t respected you enough to trust you, and all he could do was hope that he would eventually change for the better. It wasn’t your job to fix him, after all. You’d only left out the part where he said Jisung was in love with you: he didn’t need to know that, and  you didn’t need to hear him laugh it off as the joke that it was.

“I mean it.” Chris had moved closer to you when you never spoke up again, one hand squeezing your shoulder. “Felix is like a little brother to me. I think if you want to ask him out… The two of you would work well together.”

Maybe he had a point. But… “I thought I was your sibling.”

He rolled his eyes, moving back into his spot at the end of the couch. “Ask Jisung for help. You said they’ve known each other since high school, right?”

They have. They ended up rooming together their freshman year, and you’d almost always be spending at least a little time with Felix whenever you went to spend time with Jisung. He’d always be studying or on his way out, but he always made a point of hanging back just long enough to say hi to you and chat for a moment. Chris had a point, then. If anyone could help you, it would probably be Jisung.

(You wouldn’t know that Chris regretted the suggestion once he saw the way Jisung looked at you. He’d held his feelings to his chest for three years, and the mask slipped once when he thought no one was looking. The soft way he smiled at you, the tender look in his eyes when he heard you laugh… Chris would have taken the moment back if he could.)

Which was why you ended up in the MinSung apartment a few days later, sitting in Jisung’s computer chair. When you asked him for help, he’d agreed all too easily, saying something about how Felix did keep calling you cute. While he claimed to not know for sure (which you suspected was a lie), he’d been up front with you when he said he thought Felix might feel something toward you. Feelings in their vaguest form, but still something to give you genuine hope.

Minho had waited until you left to step into the doorway of Jisung’s room. “You’re an idiot.” 

Minho was the only person Jisung admitted his feelings about you to. He’d already picked up on it long ago, seeing the looks that everyone else seemed to not notice, and outright asked him about it. He never understood how no one, outside of himself, knew about the affection Jisung harbored for you. He’d never been all that subtle about it in Minho’s eyes, always so lovingly doting on you. He saw the way you clearly cared for Jisung, too. When he’d quietly asked Chris once whether you felt something for Jisung, he’d said you denied it every time. But while Minho had his dumb moments… He knew you were lying. You had the same loving look on your face whenever you looked at Jisung, dreamy-eyed and oh-so-tender when you engaged with him. You gave Jisung a safe place to hide when his anxiety was too much, always willing to leave with him and get him the space he needed. 

Surprisingly, Hyunjin called him the next morning, just to tell him the same thing Minho had said: you’re an idiot. Hyunjin always somehow seemed to pick up on Jisung’s feelings, too, but eventually believed him after he denied it enough times. You were Jisung’s best friend: was it really fair for him to love you so much when all you ever saw him as was a friend? 

It wasn’t. So he told Hyunjin to mind his business, causing the short-lived spat that the rest of the group heard about in the vaguest terms. Hyunjin had argued with him about it, saying that pushing you toward Felix was cruel to everyone involved. Jisung knew Felix liked you, though, and now he knew that you liked Felix. If Jisung was the only person to get hurt, he could live with it. Maybe he’d turn it into a song if he really needed to. It took a few days, but Hyunjin finally agreed to keep his mouth shut now that he’d spoken to Felix and confirmed that Felix genuinely did like you as more than a friend. If Jisung knew that you were genuine, then Hyunjin could live with it as long as Jisung took care of himself.

It wasn’t your fault that Jisung had fallen in love with you. He agreed to Hyunjin’s terms, and decided that he could live with the heartbreak if you were happy with Felix. Felix was a good person, always so loving and warm. He would treat you the way you deserved, loving you openly and affectionately. All it would cost Jisung was one heartbreak in exchange for your happiness. 

And for you? He would do it without hesitation.

One month into the semester, Jisung had already done a few things for you. Jisung went out of his way to ensure that you and Felix would sit together when given the chance, casually finding ways to move next to Hyunjin every time. A few weeks later, he’d casually dropped the fact that you were wanting to get into gaming more when the group was together, and you’d been confused until you saw the way Felix lit up at the topic. He’d immediately offered to let you join him and his friends, talking about free MMOs that you could play. All too easily, you managed to make conversation with him, talking about how you lacked experience with stuff like that… but you did have a Stardew Valley farm with Chris that the two of you worked on whenever you both had free time.

“Oh, really?” His eyes had been twinkling, head resting in his hand. “Maybe we could make a farm together.”

All too easily, he’d given you butterflies. “I’d like that,” you said, heart racing ever-so-slightly now. 

“Actually…” He averted his gaze for a moment, his pretty freckled cheeks turning red. “Our show is opening in a few weeks. If you want…” He paused, looking up to realize the others were still there, “I’d, um, I’d like it if all of you could come. I can reserve a couple tickets for opening night, but…”

You’d agreed, already planning to make sure your schedule was clear that day. The group had always planned to come support Felix on one of those nights, guaranteeing that he’d have his own section clapping loudly for him once he was taking his bow… but that quickly turned into something that would happen on a later night. You’d taken Felix up on the offer for an opening night ticket, and managed to convince Jisung to come with you. If Jisung was with you, you wouldn’t make a fool of yourself… and Jisung agreed, saying he’d watch the show twice to come with the others later. You had work the other day, after all: it all worked out in a way, right?

Right. Which was why he was standing in a flower shop with you, looking at premade bouquets. For the past five minutes, you’d been debating between a bouquet of sunflowers and yellow roses, frowning to yourself as you tried to pick which one best suited Felix. Jisung found himself staring at pale pink peonies. He’d looked up flower meanings once when thinking about you. If he was going to confess, he would have bought you a bouquet. Pink peonies meant something like deep appreciation, and he could easily spin it into his appreciation for you as his best friend. Would he ever be able to face you and not feel his heart flutter? Maybe one day he would, if he was lucky.

When he looked at you again, you were still deep in thought. He could hear you mumbling to yourself. Roses were too forward, too strong to be just a ‘friend’ thing—even if you were trying to impress Felix. And sunflowers felt… A little cliche knowing Felix. Everyone gave Felix sunflowers on his birthday if they were going to give him flowers. Jisung looked at the other bouquets, only to find one of yellow tulips. You looked up as he approached you with them in hand, the shyest smile on his face.

“You said you wanted to give Felix something pretty, so…” He held them up. “If roses feel too strong… Then why not these?” The paper crinkled underneath his grasp, and his heart was racing even now. This wasn’t meant to be romantic, so why couldn’t he calm down?

You’d lit up, accepting the bouquet with him. He felt the way your fingers brushed against his own when you accepted them, looking down at them. “Do you think he’ll like them”

“He’ll love anything you give him,” Jisung said, gaze softening. If it was from you, it’d be special. His hands rested over your own for a minute, and you met his gaze after a moment. “Hey… Would I lie to you?”

Other people might have. Some people might have tried to sabotage their best friend’s happiness, but Jisung could never do that to you. Not when you meant so much to him. He loved you too much to do anything that might hurt you, that would destroy your happiness. Even if he didn’t love you, you were still his best friend, and that meant he needed to treat you like one. Best friends didn’t destroy best friends like that.

“No,” you said, drawing the bouquet back. You smiled at it again. “Thanks, Jisung. If you wanna wait outside, you can. I’m gonna see if they can put a little ribbon around it when I pay—make it look cuter, y’know?”

His heart leapt at the idea. Of course you’d be cute like this. He wished that it could be him that you were buying flowers for, but he’d accept getting to see you this happy. “I’ll be waiting.”

The bell above the door jingled as he left the shop, taking a few steps away before leaning against the brick wall. With a sigh, he let his shoulders slump. This shouldn’t hurt so much, but the ache in his chest seemed to show no sign of going away. He could put aside his feelings for you, though, if it meant he could see you smile. The soft look in your eyes when he reassured you only made him feel more complicated inside. You weren’t his to give away, so why did it feel like he was losing a part of himself the more he went along with this plan? In the back of his head, a little voice kept telling him to find an excuse to go back to his apartment. A forgotten assignment that he’d overlooked, or reading he needed to do for class… But that meant abandoning you, even though Felix really wanted you to come see him tonight. Not Jisung. Jisung was coming to see him in a few days, so why bother staying?

Again, the bell chimed, and out you stepped, bouquet in hand. The brown paper that once had been wrapped around the flowers was exchanged for white tissue paper, all bound together with a bright, sparkly gold ribbon. It would fit Felix perfectly, all sunshine-y and pretty, and it was only now that Jisung realized you were wearing blue. Felix’s favorite color. Why hadn’t he noticed that before? If you were in red, then Jisung would have noticed right away, wouldn’t he? His mind wandered for a moment: would you have bought flowers for him if you were coming to see him perform? Hell, would you come alone to see him perform next semester? He had to perform solo as part of his degree plans—would you wait to come with the others, or would you be there every night if you could…? Instead, he just gently reminded you to loosen up your grip on the bouquet before you broke the stems.

“What if he hates them?” Your leg had been bouncing nervously the entire bus ride back to campus. 

Jisung just gently pat your arm. “He won’t,” he said, voice as soft as it was in the flower shop. “It’s Felix. I don’t think he’d ever hate anyone for bringing him a gift. Do you?”

That seemed to get through to you, and the tension in your shoulders eased up considerably. A moment later, you nodded, meeting his gaze. “Right…” And then you leaned against him, completely unaware that his heart was now racing all over again. “Sorry. I’m just… I’m nervous, I guess.” 

Jisung could tell. Everything about you now pointed to this need for tonight to go right. The fact you were not only wearing Felix’s favorite color, but also the way you had dressed up a little nicer, just to make an effort for him. The way you were fretting over the flowers still, even now (Jisung could see the way you  kept looking at them and readjusting your hands, all too conscious now that you might break the stems). He’d have to be ignoring you completely to not see the way your leg had been bouncing before, or the way you kept toying with your sleeve, or the way you kept checking the time even though you both left extremely early to get to the shop. 

“It’s gonna be okay,” he said, leaning his head against your own. “You’ll be fine.”

Despite the way he still wanted to go home, Jisung stuck by you the entire time. You needed him there to calm you, the way he depended on you sometimes, and he wouldn’t leave you to flounder. The two of you found seats a few rows back from the stage, settling in for whenever the show would begin. Jisung could see Chris sitting in the front row, beaming with pride at the whole affair. That was the nice thing about Chris: he always made a point of coming back to help wherever he could, including with productions like this. Plus, he was always there to support everyone, especially his friends. Dance showcases, theatrical performances, the art exhibits that Hyunjin’s pieces and Seungmin’s photography ended up in… Chris was there, always happy to congratulate on a job well done. Jisung didn’t need to be sitting next to him to see the way he glowed with pride every time Felix was on stage.

When the show was over, Jisung watched as you gravitated near the door the actors would eventually emerge from. He’d already passed the responsibility of congratulating Felix onto you for now (he’d tell him later) as he searched for where Chris had disappeared to in the crowd. Most likely, he’d disappeared into the back to go talk to the actors. Two years out of school, and Chris never seemed to care about the fact he wasn’t technically a part of the department anymore. Jisung admired his confidence, at least: it always felt like a line he shouldn’t cross, even though Felix always said his friends were welcome. 

He’d decided to take refuge in the bathroom instead, just to calm himself down. Chris would come back out soon when the actors did, meaning Jisung could talk to him then. He’d started to fiddle with little things as he stared at himself in the mirror: fixing a stray hair that never seemed to stay in place, adjusting the collar of his shirt, checking to see how puffy his face was… All little things that he could pick himself apart for if he felt like it, and his mind kept straying to it rather than how happy you seemed to be. He saw how engrossed in Felix’s performance you were. Maybe he should leave to spare himself from seeing this any further. He’d done his part, hadn’t he? You would understand. 

Except he didn’t leave, because Jisung was still your best friend. You wouldn’t abandon him now, so he had to do the same for you. The moment he stepped back into the theater, he saw the way you were beaming at Felix. He’d finally emerged, dressed casually again, and was happily talking to you while holding the bouquet. All he needed to do was look at Felix to know that he was smitten from the way he was smiling at you. Okay. He could deal with this. All he needed to do was find Chris and maybe he could manage.

But all it took was you looking up and waving Jisung over for him to cave, already drawn toward you like a magnet. He couldn’t just leave. Not when you were smiling at him like that. Jisung ended up rattling off some praise for Felix (genuine, because he wouldn’t half-heartedly give him praise just because you liked Felix and not him), and Felix had blushed over it. His gaze fell down to the flowers in his hands, and Felix smiled again.

“Aren’t they sweet?” The tissue paper rustled in Felix’s grasp, and he swayed toward you ever-so-slightly. “They’re so sweet.”

Jisung didn’t say that he was with you when you bought them, that he’d been the one to push them to you. “They have a really good eye for these things,” he said instead. “They fit you perfectly.”

“I know!” Felix looked up, beaming with pure joy. “They’ve never given a bad present before. I don’t really know how they do it.”

Jisung did. You kept a running list in your notes app of things that people said they liked, or things they said they wanted, or things that they needed that you constantly updated. Plus, you made a point to subtly ask about things close to holidays and birthdays, too. All the things you needed to give a good gift that people wanted and would appreciate. The only other person who knew about this was Chris, and that was because he’d caught you editing it. Even if Jisung hadn’t given you the tulips, he knew Felix would have loved the sunflowers or the roses. 

“I think I saw Chris,” Jisung said after a moment of seeing the (admittedly cute) way you and Felix kept glancing at each other. He started to move away, “I’m gonna go say hi.”

“Oh, I can come too!” You were flustered, all too aware of how much of Felix’s time you’d taken for yourself. “I mean, I’m sure Felix is tired of me hogging him, y’know?”

“It’s fine,” Felix said, smiling still. “I like talking to you.”

While his attention was still on you, Jisung made a point to nod toward Felix. Stay right there. He knew you wanted to talk to Felix, after all. You’d relaxed a moment later, planting yourself right where you were as you turned back to Felix. He’d already begun asking you something about an MMO he’d gotten you into, and Jisung turned tail to make his way to Chris. 

Jisung ended up leaving the arts building before you ever did, stepping out into the chilly night air. Chris was there to give you a ride home, after all: you didn’t need to ride the bus to Jisung’s apartment and then back to your own in the way you always insisted on doing. Chris had offered to drive him home, but Jisung waved him off. He needed the alone time to think, and the bus ride that took him home was the perfect time for it. He’d already begun writing lyrics in the notes app on his phone half-way there, and soon enough he’d put them into ink in his songwriting notebook. Just to get those feelings down while the wound was fresh and oozing ink.

You’d texted him that night to say that you were getting lunch with Felix that week. He had other shows most nights, but he’d make time for lunch with you anytime. He’d wondered for a moment until you finally said the magic word: Felix could do ‘evening dates’ with you another time. Yet you still texted him a moment later, asking if Felix meant date dates. All Jisung could say was that it might: he wasn’t Felix. He couldn’t tell you yes.

All he could tell you was that he was genuinely happy for you, even though the emotion never reached him in that moment.

When he woke up the next morning, he’d realized he fell asleep at his desk. His spine was aching at this point, and he realized that there was ink smudged on his hand and his cheek. He’d written down messy, clumsy lyrics that were nowhere near as good as he could make them. Jisung glanced over them again and again. The ink had smudged on the page, which meant he should copy them over to a fresh one after he showered. The melody would come to him while he washed off his regret anyway.

All of it was sloppy in the way a work in progress often was. But he had time to write it better.

A week later, you had curled up on Jisung’s bed while you were waiting for him to finish an assignment. The two of you had plans to go out to dinner, and you always ended up showing up a little too early. It never bothered Jisung, who was currently hard at work on a composition due for class soon. You admired him for a moment as he bobbed his head along to whatever he was working on, lips pressed tightly together in concentration. He’d already told you he wasn’t going to finish it tonight—but he just wanted a little more progress before he went anywhere with you. Which just left you to scroll through YouTube idly, eyeing the videos of ducks that kept popping onto your feed. All it took was one video from Felix for you to fall down this rabbit hole, and you were honestly fine with that. He made you happy.

Absent-mindedly, you started to reach toward Jisung’s desk. He always kept a stack of sticky notes on it, and you were hoping to blindly snag it without bothering Jisung. Yet he glanced up for half a second before pushing the cube over to you, offering a pen out to you without a word. You accepted it, thanking him out loud even though he was still entranced with whatever song he was working on. He hadn’t shared any of this one with you yet, but you weren’t going to push. He would show it to you when he was good and ready, and if he didn’t, then you just assumed it’d be more personal. All you did was roll onto your stomach, leaving your phone next to you as you began to doodle on the sticky notes. Jisung sometimes kept your silly little doodles, sticking them to his monitor before eventually throwing them out. There was still a pink one stuck to the corner of his screen with a little puppy on it, surrounded by little flowers.  You’d started drawing tulips on this new sticky note without thinking, followed by other flowers that you remembered seeing in that shop.

Jisung pulled the headphones off his head, looking over at you. He was wearing glasses again today—a rare sight since he started wearing contacts—and the monitor reflected in them. “Sorry,” he said, watching you doodle for a moment longer. “I’m almost done, I promise.”

“It’s okay,” you didn’t look up, humming to yourself as you kept drawing. “Take your time. I don’t mind waiting.”

(When other people said such things, jisung always felt a little on edge. Did they really mean it, or were they just pacifying him? But when you did it, he never had to doubt you. You always gave him this little reassuring smile. You meant it, and that was something else he loved about you.)

“I mean it,” you said, just like you always did to try and reassure him further. “I’ll be right here when you’re done, okay?”

Sometimes that promise would end in you falling asleep on his bed, always after you had a particularly long or rough day. He never woke you up: he’d just pulled a blanket over you and went to sleep on the couch for the night. He always made it up to you by buying breakfast that following morning. You did the same for him, after all.

Jisung replaced his headphones, but left one side off so he could hear you. A clear sign that he was open to conversation now, less focused on the work at hand. His way of winding down without dropping the project entirely. “How,” he said, and then paused for just a second as he clicked something else, “was lunch with Felix?”

The heat traveled to your face immediately, and you averted your gaze. “It was nice.” 

“Oh?” He swayed a little, turning his chair slightly. “So no wedding yet? I was practicing to be the flower girl, you know.”

You flipped him off, and he snorted. 

“I wouldn’t make a good one?” He faked offense. “I think I’d be cute.” 

“The cutest,” you rolled your eyes, yet still found yourself smiling. “Are you gonna show me the song you’re working on, or is this one another mystery?”

Jisung turned toward his computer again, not quite looking at you anymore. “It’s not ready yet.” 

You looked up at him, the way he sounded a little distant piquing your curiosity. It wasn’t ready yet…? You shrugged it off. What reason would Jisung have to lie to you…? Maybe he didn’t want your opinions this time around. There was nothing wrong with that, to be fair: Chris and Changbin were both better for musical analysis. But he’d always valued your opinions on something that was so important to him, and you always tried to pay attention to his lyricism and compliment him where you could.

Yet you doodled a little rose in the corner of the note. “Okay,” you dragged out the word, rolling onto your side after a moment, just to face him for a second. “If you ever want to show me, I’ll be happy to listen.”

“I’ll let you know if I need you.” A moment later, he met your eyes and smiled—just to reassure you that he was fine.

With said reassurance, you returned to lying on your stomach and doodling. You stuck the sticky note with flowers onto the side of his desk, and started doodling paw prints and hearts onto the new note. “I think we should go out.”

“Huh?!”

Immediately, your heart leapt into your throat. Fuck, that’s not what you meant—why did he have to sound so bothered by it?! Was dating you really such a weird idea…? You just prayed he couldn’t see how flustered you’d become, tugging at the collar of your shirt. When did your skin start burning…? “Felix told me about this nice restaurant and I figured we could go scope it out,” you said quickly. At least this wasn’t a lie or anything: Felix did send you the name of a nice place for a future date.

“Shouldn’t you check it out with him?”

You rolled your eyes. “You know how I am.”

Maybe it was silly, but you had this thing about scoping places out if you knew where someone was taking you. You did the same thing whenever your family was in the area and wanted to check something new out, just so you knew that there was something on the menu that you’d like. If someone else was treating you, you always felt guilty if you didn’t like what they were paying for. Jisung asked you once why you didn’t just look up the menu online and pick from there.

You had looked at him that day. “Jisung. What if they don’t make it good? What if they add extra stuff I don’t like and it’s gross after I ask them to take it off?” You frowned, hugging yourself. “Then I feel bad for wasting my money, or my date’s money, or my parents' money…” 

He hadn’t questioned you on it further and offered to be your test-date if you needed him. He’d never judge your taste, after all. If he was busy, you’d just drag Chris into going wherever with you—always offering to pay for him even though he had the better job out of the two of you. It was nice to go out with Jisung, though. He always seemed to know what you were going to pick off of the menu, the same way you knew his tastes. Speaking of…

“Jisungie?” You smiled at him, ready to sweeten the deal in a way he couldn’t refuse. “I’ll buy you cheesecake after.”

Immediately, you saw the way he pressed his lips together. You knew one of the ways to his heart and it was always through something sweet like cheesecake. A moment later, he melted, smiling as he turned back to save what he was working on. You left the sticky notes on his desk and hopped up, announcing you’d be waiting for him and made your way out. Minho had been curled up on the couch with a book, glancing up when you came in.

“Jisung and I are going to get dinner. Are you coming?”

Minho glanced over to where Jisung had emerged from his room, then shook his head. “I already ate.” 

Whatever. The two of you would have fun on your own, then. Through the power of digital maps and following directions, you and Jisung managed to find the place easily enough. The two of you ended up seated in the corner, ordering quickly enough before you were left alone. With a sigh, you’d begun to swirl your straw in your drink, mind wandering a bit. Your date with Felix had been nice, but you always felt so fluttery with him. Being around Jisung was… easier. You didn’t feel the need to force any conversation with him, the two of you were content to have a minute of quiet if that was what you both needed. It was a weird change to feel around him, to be honest. In the past, being around Felix was always easy. Now that you knew he liked you back…  It was different. You couldn’t help but wonder if things would be different if Jisung liked you back, if this were a date. Then you pushed the thought away: you needed to stop thinking things like that. 

“What’s on your mind?” Jisung had peeked up at you from where he was scrolling through social media on his phone, frowning a little.

With a sigh, you knew he’d pick up on your mood. “I feel like I’m gonna turn into one of those people who only talks about dating.” You fiddled with the sleeve of your sweater—your favorite color this time. “But…”

“I’m listening,” he said. “Is everything okay?”

Why did he have to look at you so earnestly? Jisung had the prettiest eyes, especially when they looked so shiny—like boba pearls, someone once said. You nodded a moment later. “Just… I dunno. I like Felix, but I keep getting nervous with him.” You tapped your toes against the floor, a little restless already. “I mean… I know he likes me, but… I dunno. We haven’t kissed or anything.”

“Has he said anything?” Jisung ran a hand through his hair, fluffing it effortlessly. How the hell did he always do that…? “What are you two doing next?”

“We were gonna see a movie and then get food here,” you paused, looking up from where you’d started staring at your hands. “And maybe dessert, if he’s interested.” 

“Was it your idea or his?”

“His, but—”

“Then I think you’re overthinking it,” Jisung said gently. “I think…” He trailed off for a moment, and then cleared his throat. “I think he likes you because you’re you. And… And, um,” he glanced down for just a second, “and if anyone doesn’t like you, then… I don’t think they deserve you.” 

Your heart skipped a beat. How was he so sweet? He seemed so nervous now, the way he always seemed to get when he was a little more sentimental with you. Like he was treading lightly, so as to not say the wrong thing. You’d told him once that there was nothing he could say that would upset you, and so far that still rang true. You had your fair share of disagreements over the years, but Jisung was your best friend. If you had soulmates in this life, then Jisung was one of them. “Jisung…”

He just silently watched you for a moment, gauging your reaction as he carefully tried to find any signs that he’d slipped up. 

You just buried your face in your hands a moment late, skin burning hot already. He’d melted your heart all too easily, dooming you to pine for him forever. No matter how far you went from him, no matter if you moved on, Jisung eternally had a piece of your heart and he didn’t even know it. Finally, you found the strength to speak, voice small: “I don’t deserve you.”

Your date with Felix was going well. The movie was fun, and dinner went great (especially going in knowing that you already liked some of the menu). He’d been gushing about video games and the movie, and now he was talking about a new recipe he was workshopping. His fingers were intertwined with yours as you walked aimlessly, no plan in place for where you were going next. You liked how warm Felix’s hands were, and the way he would run his thumb over your hand—just a tender little way of showing he was still there with you. 

“Maybe… I could bake with you sometime?” You squeezed his hand a little. “If you want an assistant.”

He lit up at the suggestion, already beaming again with joy. “I’d love that! I could teach you whatever you don’t know.” He paused, cheeks flushing red. “I think… you’d be a cute assistant, too.”

Your heart leapt into your throat at that, face growing warmer at the thought. Felix was always so cute, so affectionate, and the way he giggled at your flustered face only made you more embarrassed. Yet your mind had started to drift to the walk you’d taken with Jisung after dinner that night, heading toward your usual place for dessert….

Only to be jostled from your thoughts as Felix’s shoulder bumped against yours, getting your attention back with ease. “You okay?” He paused, and then smiled as he squeezed your hand. “You wanna get ice cream?”

Ice cream sounded perfect. You’d been wanting to bring up dessert, but you weren’t sure if he had room for it after dinner and splitting popcorn with you earlier. Then your mind turned to the brownies you’d had with Jisung… “Actually… There’s this place I go sometimes—”

“With Jisung?” Felix asked. He didn’t seem jealous or bothered in the slightest. “I’ve actually been wanting to go there with you.”

You slowed to a stop. “You have?”

He nodded. “Yeah, but… I dunno. I guess I started thinking I was overstepping since that place was always you and Jisung. You guys always take us somewhere else if we’re all going, so…”

What?

Felix shrugged, and started walking again. You fell into step with him. He continued on after a moment, “You two are really close. I mean… I’ve been places with my friends that I haven’t gone with you all, y’know? Maybe we keep stuff for our friends sometimes.”

The shop had always been a place for you and Jisung, sure, but neither of you ever intended for it to be exclusively for you two. Minho had gone with the two of you once or twice, and so had Chris. Now that you were thinking about it, this place wasn’t even the place you two used to frequent. That place closed down a little over a year ago, and you’d found this place shortly after that. The two of you had gotten a to-go order that first time to try in his apartment and fell in love with the dessert there. 

“It’s not our place,” you said after a moment. “If you want ice cream, we can get ice cream instead. I just started thinking about their brownies—”

Felix was already intrigued. “Do you wanna go?” He squeezed your hand a little, giddy at the idea. “We can split one, if you want?”

Perfect. “I’d love that,” you giggled. “They’re huge and they put a scoop of vanilla on top and drizzle it with caramel—you’ll love it.”

And he did: he fed you the first bite, just to be cheesy. His eyes always seemed to twinkle when he looked at you, so thoroughly endeared to you day after day. He’d hummed in bliss at his own first bite of the dessert before talking about how the salted caramel complimented the sweetness of the vanilla ice cream and the slight bitterness of whatever dark chocolate was in the brownie. It all came together beautifully, and all you could do was admire how pretty Felix was. He’d held your hand again after the two of you left, and held on tight for the entire walk home. 

“May I…?”

You turned your cheek to him, and he pressed a kiss against it. His lips were soft against your cheek, lingering there for a few extra seconds before he drew away. He’d already started talking about planning your next date soon, leaving it there. He took a few steps back, waiting until you unlocked the door to your apartment before he waved and made his way in the opposite direction. You retreated into your apartment with the sappiest smile on your face, already on cloud nine. In the sanctuary of your apartment, you buried your face in your hands, trying to ignore how heavily your heart was thumping in your ears.

“Someone had a good time.”

Chris had stood near the entryway, two glasses in his hands. He must have been on his way back to the living room, and you waved him on as you slipped out of your shoes and into your house slippers. Right as you were ready to tell Chris a little about how your date had gone, you spotted Changbin on the couch. With a polite way, you decided to hold off. Chris could wait to hear things tomorrow, and you told him that as you made your way toward your room.

“Did he walk you back?” Chris called out, and you hung back long enough to nod. “You could have invited him in for a minute—”

“Oh, fuck no.” You loved Chris, and maybe it would have been polite, but he had too much dirt on you. The fact you’d managed to be friends with everyone this long without having all your embarrassing stories spilled was a miracle in itself. “I love you, but I don’t need you to embarrass both of us, Chris.”

Chris only burst into giggles, knowing that you were right and that Felix would have agreed with you in a heartbeat. “I wouldn’t do it too bad!”

Big brother energy. Big bother energy, too. You opened your bedroom door. “You absolutely would,” you called back. “Love you!”

Yet it was right as you were closing the door that you heard Changbin speak up, clearly not intending for you to hear: “I thought they were…” Then a pause, just for a second. “... What about Jisung?”

You shut your bedroom door as quietly as you could, praying that no one noticed you’d caught that. You pressed your back against it for a minute, wondering where you had slipped up. Were you that obvious? Did everyone but Jisung know that you liked him and he didn’t like you back? No. No, no one else could know, right? If they knew, they would have said something by now—especially with the fact that you and Felix weren’t hiding the fact you were dating. Speaking of…

You texted him to get home safe, tacking on a yellow heart after it. He attached a little heart to the message soon enough, and you smiled to yourself. He’d text you when he got home, the way he usually did. All you could do now was start getting ready for bed as you let your mind drift back to what Changbin had been saying. If Changbin knew, then there was no telling if he’d accidentally spill it. What if Jisung found out…? He’d look at you differently, wouldn’t he? Especially since you’d asked him to help you get with Felix. What if he connected the dots and figured out that you were dating Felix because you were trying to move on? What if Felix found out and he hated you for it…? A world in which Jisung and Felix hated you was one you didn’t want to live in, and your heart began to race at the thought. Shit. What if…? You wanted to reach for your phone, to call Jisung. But Jisung would ask some questions to help you calm down, and you weren’t sure if you could be vague enough to keep him from finding out. 

Instead, you threw yourself into doing research for an essay. The less you thought about it all, the better off you’d be. The only thing that pulled you out of your thoughts was the text that popped up over an hour later from Felix. He’d sent you a picture of himself with a face mask on, dressed and ready for bed, and apologizing that he didn’t text you sooner. It was followed up with a “sleep well 💙we’ll talk tomorrow, yeah?” that left you smiling.

Felix was cute. He was sweet. He liked you, and you liked him. All you needed to do was push past your feelings for Jisung, and things would work out. Letting go was the hardest part of loving someone who wouldn’t love you back, and you needed to learn how to do it.

Maybe Felix could help you learn how to do that by loving you extra loud.

“You’re both slacking, you know!”

Jisung looked up at the sound of your voice carrying across the apartment. Barely milliseconds later, he heard Minho groan at you for pointing out the fact the apartment was a little unkempt. Fuck, you were here sooner than he thought—he’d seen your text over half an hour saying you were coming, but you were ‘taking your time’ for whatever reason. You’d given him a time, and even still he was surprised by how soon you’d showed up.

“I told you to text before you come!”

You’d stopped for a minute to turn to huff at him. “I did!” 

“Text me, not just Jisung.” There was no venom in his words, purely Minho ribbing you, but Jisung jolted from his chair. Shit, his room was a mess still. Minho had to know, didn’t he? This was him giving him a chance to tidy before you came in. “He’s been in his room all day, by the way.”

“What?” You hadn’t moved. “Really? Is he behind, or…?”

Yes, keep distracting them, Jisung shoved trash into the small trash can next to his desk—all wrappers from snacks. The sticky notes from his monitor were neatly hidden away in the bottom drawer with all the others you’d left him. Minho was rattling something off about how he knew Jisung had been hard at work, although he’d barely checked on him since he seemed to be focused. He’d tie up the bag and take it out of his room later, after you left. He made up his bed as you asked something about one of Jisung’s classes, to which Minho said a curt “I don’t know, I’m not his mom,” which earned ribbing from you considering how Minho acted like a mom at times. A second later, your voice was a little louder, having stepped closer to his room.

He threw himself back into his chair, pulled his headphones on, and pretended to be hard at work. Don’t notice the fact he’s still panting a little—he was just… running. A marathon. Really. He heard your quick knock, followed by the creak of his bedroom door a moment later. When you waved your hand in front of his face, he pretended to jolt back, pushing his headphones around his neck as he looked up at you.

With a smile, you held up the takeout. “How much do you love me?”

More than you knew. No wonder you told him you weren’t sure you’d be there on time. He accepted the bag, already working to undo the knot. “I don’t deserve you.”

You pulled over the spare chair, pulling it over to his desk. “Minho said you’ve been busy all day. Everything okay?”

He nodded. “Just working on that paper on music history,” he set aside the plastic-wrapped utensils. “It’s due in a few days, but I’m behind on it, so…”

You frowned a little. “Okay, but… Have you eaten today?” When he didn’t move, you’d been given your answer. “Aw, Jisungie…”

“I’ve snacked?”

“That’s not the same thing,” you leaned against his desk. “I guess I came at a good time, then.” 

He nodded, pulling the knot undone. He set your food aside. “I think Minho tried to check on me earlier. I don’t really remember.”

It wouldn’t be the first time, and both of you knew that. “Are you gonna share this time?”

He let out a groan. One time he ate all the steamed dumplings, and you’ve never let him live it down. “I always share,” he said, setting the container where both of you could reach it. “Take however many you want.”

“Not those,” you said, before pausing for a moment. “Well, yes those, but…” You pointed your chopsticks toward his computer. “Any of your work. I feel like I haven’t heard any of it this semester.” 

“You’re usually with Felix,” he said, voice a little quieter. “I mean… You two are usually going out and doing things, you know?” He hoped you understood him: you couldn’t be around to hear things when you were out with him. 

“Not the entire semester,” you frowned again. Then you sighed, balancing your food in your lap. “But you’re right.” Then you paused, brows drawing together. “Wait… Am I spending too much time with Felix?”

Jisung shook his head quickly. “No! No, you two are fine—I just meant—”

You reached out, squeezing his shoulder, “No, Jisung. I’m sorry.”

The way you sounded so genuinely upset only broke his heart a little. He didn’t mean to imply you shouldn’t be spending time with Felix—the two of you were dating after all. “Don’t feel bad about Felix—”

You stopped him there again. “No, I mean… I know we’re dating, but that’s no excuse to ignore you. I don’t want to be the kind of person who dumps their friends entirely, all just because I’m seeing someone. That’s not fair to you.”

His face grew warmer. Had you thought about this before…? You’d always been so conscious of your friendships when dating in the past. Sure, you spent more time with past partners, but he’d never felt neglected. No one did. “You aren’t dumping any of us. It’s okay.”

Yet that didn’t seem to stop you. “We should go out this weekend,” you said. “Like we usually do. I have to work Saturday morning, but my evening is yours.” 

His? Jisung ignored the way his heart skipped a beat at that. It didn’t mean anything. “But what about Felix?”

You pressed your lips together. “If he doesn’t understand ‘best friend time,’ then he’s not the one.” You shrugged. “My partner shouldn't stop me from hanging out with friends. I’m never going to date anyone like that. I wouldn’t want anyone to put their life on pause entirely for me, you know?”

Jisung had always loved that about you. You loved your friends wholeheartedly, and you were always so, so loyal to them. In your past relationships, you’d always found time for friends. They understood whenever you prioritized the relationship during that initial phase, sure, but it always just felt… wrong to drop them entirely during that period. You needed to balance your time, after all.

Jisung swallowed his own pain. “How are you two?”

“You don’t want to hear about us.”

“I do,” he insisted. “You don’t have to share anything, but… You’re both still my friends. Jeongin said he saw you two on a date.”

You fumbled with your chopsticks, immediately growing flustered. “Oh my god. Felix kept telling me that he was positive it wasn’t him—I knew it was! Holy shit—”

“He didn’t say anything bad!” Jisung panicked a little, carefully removing your food from your lap before it could get spilled in your movement. He moved his chair over, giving you some of his desk space so you wouldn’t have to use your lap as a table anymore. “All he said was that you two were holding hands and giggling. He said it was sweet.”

You refused to look at Jisung, still too embarrassed to do anything more than push your food around its plate. “He’s… really sweet,” you admitted after a moment. “I dunno how I feel, honestly, and I kinda feel bad about that. He’s nice to talk to, and he’s sweet, but… I dunno. I keep getting worried that I’m leading him on if I’m not all-in already.” Your knee bumped against Jisung’s. “You changed the subject, by the way.” 

Shit, you caught him. Jisung just moved the dumplings between the two of you again, trying to distract you. When you gave him a pointed look, he knew you weren’t going to drop it yet. With a sigh, he shrugged. “I’ll show you after I finish one. They aren’t good yet.” 

“Bullshit,” you said. “Your works’ always good. Even when it’s a work in progress—I can always tell that you love what you’re doing. I love how devoted you are to it… and to us, y’know.” 

Now it was his turn to be embarrassed, always so easily flustered. How did complimenting him come so easily to you? 

“You don’t have to share it if you aren’t ready or if you don’t want to,” you said after a moment. “You can tell me that, though. I’ll stop asking.”

Jisung looked up, nodding. “Later,” he promised, running a hand through his hair nervously. “When I’m ready.”

You giggled, squeezing his knee. “That’s all I needed to know,” you said. “I’ll be here for you when you want to share, alright?”

Tell them. The little voice in the back of Jisung’s mind was nagging him again, and all he could do was admire how giddy you were getting over dumplings. He loved how you found joy in little things like this, too. Tell them so they can break your heart and get it over with.

Then something clicked in his mind, something he’d glazed over entirely. “You… might not like Felix?”

You avoided his gaze, as though you were ashamed. There was nothing wrong with not being sure of your feelings, and yet you’d shrunk before him, unsure. “I don’t know. I… I like him, but I’m not sure how far it goes.”

“You should figure it out soon,” he said softly. Regardless of his own feelings for you, Felix was his friend. You clearly were, too. It was unfair if you stopped feeling things and kept seeing him. “Felix is a really good person. If you want to date him, you should be up front about it. He won’t hold it against you if you don’t feel the same, you know? Do what will make you happy.” 

You looked up from your food a moment later, a soft look in his eyes. He’d seen you and accepted you without any harsh judgment. Someone else might have told you off for being unsure, but not Jisung. Never Jisung. Feelings were complicated, after all. If you weren’t sure, then you weren’t sure. All you needed was time to figure it out. You wouldn’t drag things out to hurt Felix. You turned, leaning over the side of your chair to wrap your arms around him. He relaxed into your embrace, reaching up a hand to squeeze your arm.

“I’m really glad you’re in my life, Jisung.” You shut your eyes, squeezing him extra tight for a second. “I really, really love you, y’know?”

Why did that feel like a confession? His heart was racing, and he just squeezed you gently. His eyes fluttered shut for a moment as he savored this moment. “Yeah,” he said, praying that you didn’t notice how warm his face was getting, or hear how fast his heart was racing. “Love you, too.”

A moment later, you drew away, hands lingering on his arm for a moment too long. Then you were hit with realization. “Oh!” You drew away from him, “I forgot to get us drinks.” The wheels noisily rolled against the floor as you stood up. “I’ll go see what’s in the fridge, alright?”

Before he could offer to go, you were gone. Jisung watched the door shut behind you, and let out a long sigh as he relaxed into his chair. How long would it take for him to get past this? Every little moment like this with you only made his feelings burrow deeper into his chest. It felt as though he’d hit bedrock and somehow managed to keep digging. Something squeezed in his chest, and he felt as though he was going to suffocate in that moment. 

Jisung loved you too much, and now it was starting to hurt even more.

Felix was… Felix. He’d been kind to you from the first day you met him. He was sweet. Sometimes insecure, but most people were, weren’t they? He was warmer than sunshine, though, and you had always felt like you were on top of the world when you were with him. He had that ability to just spread joy in other people, that pretty smile enough to give anyone butterflies—especially when you heard his laugh afterward. He’d always drifted toward others, always ready to give a warm hug when someone needed it (or even just wanted it). Felix was sunshine in human form…

So what changed? He was smiling that cute, smitten smile that he always seemed to have when he was around you. He played with your fingers, talking about his day and asking you about your own. The two of you hadn’t been going out that long, yet those weeks seemed to shift subtly more and more until you were where you were now. The time he first kissed your cheek felt so distant now. He still liked to press little kisses against your cheek, and you often did the same to him, too. So what was wrong with you? His giggle still made your heart flutter, and the cute face he made when he got flustered was still adorable, but…

Chris had paused the movie the two of you were watching one weekend, opting to study you for a moment. You’d been scrolling through your social media feeds, too bored with the stilted leads. They were reciting shitty dialogue written by someone who clearly didn’t know what love was. Then again… What was love like?

“Hey. Can we talk?” 

You looked up, confused. When did Chris get so serious…? “What’s wrong?”

“I love you, but…” He let out a sigh. “I just wanted to say that I think you should cut things off with Felix if you aren’t interested.”

What? You never said you weren’t interested. Felix was sweet, and nice, and you felt great when you were around him still. “What?”

“I don’t know—Whenever I look at the two of you now, it looks like you’re always thinking about something.” Chris paused for a moment, and then frowned at you. “You know you can tell me anything, right? I’m still here for you. I just don’t want you and Felix to get hurt.” 

You hugged yourself. “I know, I just…”

“Just… Figure it out, yeah?” Chris let out a sigh. “I love you so, so much. And I love Felix, too. When you said you were interested in him, I was really excited for you both, yeah? But, I don’t know, I can’t shake this weird feeling now.” He paused for a moment, eyes searching your own now. “I didn’t push you into this, did I?”

“No! No,” you shook your head, “you didn’t. I was crushing on him for a while.” You drew your knees a little closer to you, shifting into a more comfortable position. “I… I don’t know.” 

Maybe you should kiss him. Just to see how it felt. 

“I guess…” You trailed off for a moment, hugging your blanket closer to you. “I guess I’m just not sure about anything anymore. I like hanging out with him. And… I like him. I just don’t know how I feel anymore.”

Chris frowned as he watched you. He understood, though: feelings were always complicated in some way, weren’t they? “You should tell him soon once you figure it out.” The way he was being so insistent on it meant someone talked to him. Was it Felix…? Had Felix confided in him? He sat up, reaching for the near-empty bowl of popcorn. He dropped the remote into your lap. “I’m gonna make more popcorn. Find something actually good to watch, yeah?”

“This was your pick, you know.” 

He just rustled your hair before moving on. With a new movie picked out, Chris settled into the space next to you rather than his usual spot. He wrapped an arm around you, pulling you into his side as he pressed a kiss onto the top of your head. He’d always given you little kisses like that when you were upset, and the habit never really died. It comforted you even now, reminding you of simpler times. He’d cared for you once when you were a child, rushing to your side when you skinned his knee. Admittedly it was because you’d been chasing after him, but he’d cared for you the same way he did for his siblings. He bandaged your knee, kissing it better the way his parents always did before kissing your forehead. His parents told him that it helped it heal faster. And, sure, the two of you had been dumb kids then, but the kisses now always reminded you that you weren’t going through things alone. Chris was always right there with you, the older brother you never had. 

It was sweet. At least you would always have Chris in your corner, right next to Jisung.

Felix kissed you.

The two of you had walked home from dinner that night with your pinkies linked together. You’d grown quieter with each step, listening to Felix as he filled the space with soft conversation until it, too, was drowned in the sounds of the night. The sound of cars driving past, the chirp of crickets, the wind as it kissed your skin. But Felix was right there with you, still tethered to you by your pinkies. Even now, he looked at you so sweetly whenever he caught your eye. He’d fixed your jacket, or brushed a stray strand of hair back from your face. When you were finally back in front of your apartment, he’d asked if he could kiss you. You said yes, and he closed that distance between you. All at once, you knew: Felix wasn’t it.

Maybe there would never be anyone like Jisung for you. But you couldn’t be upset about that. It wasn’t his fault you fell for him somewhere along the way. And now you were standing in front of your apartment, an eternity seeming to pass as Felix kissed you gently. His lips were slightly chapped this time, fingers gently holding your face. One of the neighbors must have opened their door and seen from the way it opened and immediately shut. 

A moment later, Felix pulled away since you never actually reciprocated. The hurt in his eyes told you everything: he knew. His hands were still holding your face, thumbs running over the apples of your cheeks. Shit. Fuck, you’d hurt him, all while you were hurting, too. Yet you saw the way he tried to fight back tears, blinking quickly as he took in a shaky breath.

When he spoke, his voice was strained. “This… wasn’t ever going somewhere, was it?”

Even after you’d hurt him, he was still so gentle with you. You wished he were angry with you, or upset, or anything other than the man who was forcing a smile in front of you now. If he yelled at you or started crying, then you could apologize. You could try to fix things. All he did was keep that forced smile as he drew his hands back, letting them fall to his sides again. With the tiniest step back, your worlds seemed to break apart. Why couldn’t he just  yell at you? You’d hurt him, and he just… He looked at you like he still thought the world of you.

“That’s okay.” His voice was so much quieter. It was as though his sunlight had been snuffed out. “I had fun.”

“Felix—”

“I mean it,” he said, taking another small step back. “I… I really hope this doesn’t hurt our friendship. I still like talking to you, and—and I like being your friend. And you’re kind-of good at games, so we could, um—we could still use yours if you wanted to play with us, and…”

He was rambling. All you could do was step forward, pulling him into your arms to hug him tight. All too easily, he crumpled into your embrace, holding you tight. 

“I’m sorry, Felix.” You hoped he would forgive you someday. Not today. Not too soon, not too easily. You didn’t deserve that. “I should have known sooner.”

He shut his eyes for a moment, taking in another shaky breath before pulling away from you. “It’s okay. You didn’t know.” He paused. “You should head in. I’m sure Chris is worried. I’ll probably get a text from him on my way home. You know how he is—he always worries, and, um, he… worries a lot about if I’m getting home safe, and…”

You punched in your apartment’s code, stepping back into the doorway. You turned to face Felix one last time, heart breaking in your chest. He forced one more smile as he looked at you.

“Goodnight,” he said, voice soft as ever.

You swallowed hard. “Goodnight, Felix. Get home safely.”

And then you shut the door, securing the door as you pressed your forehead against it. You waited, hoping that Felix had taken off as soon as the door was shut before you slammed your fist into it. Chris was out. You hadn’t seen his shoes when you stepped in, his house slippers left in their usual spot. All too quickly, you kicked your shoes off, heading toward your room as you started to strip off your clothes. You just wanted to be in your pajamas, curled up in bed. The heartbreak wasn’t what was hurting you more: it was knowing you’d hurt Felix, and he was going to go home, and he was going to cry because Felix was someone everyone treated with care. He wasn’t fragile, but he was gentler. A softer person. There was a reason why Minho joked with him differently, after all. 

At least you were alone now. Chris would have asked questions. Everyone would have, except… You’d picked up your phone, opening it up to Jisung’s contact. Jisung wouldn’t ask questions. Jisung would hold you and let you cry. But he was Felix’s friend first. 

All you could do now was send a final text to Felix to get home safely. A little heart popped up next to the message, a sign that he saw it, and you shut your phone off afterward. You dragged yourself to bed, chest heavy and hurting as you pulled your blankets around yourself. Why couldn’t things just be different?

Why couldn’t you just turn your feelings off?

Jisung didn’t speak to you all week. 

This wasn’t him getting busy with schoolwork and shutting everyone out to work. Jisung did that with warning to everyone, just so no one worried about him. That was the rule for all of you. Life could be hectic, but no one was to completely shut everyone out without at least some sort of heads up so no one worried too much. Jisung had always been clear with telling you when he needed his space so that you could check in with him occasionally. The one person you needed most right now wasn’t responding to your texts, and that terrified you. He was pissed at you. He had to be, right? You had hurt Felix, and Jisung decided to side with the person he’d known longer. Messaging Minho yielded no answer, too. You had expected Felix to avoid you the way he was now, but even he had been more cordial to you. Sure, he was quieter, but that, again, was something you had expected. He apparently came by one day to see Chris, and you had never known until Chris offhandedly mentioned it.

You had to figure things out, which meant asking everyone separately. Chris had claimed he didn’t know anything about what was wrong with Jisung. He never acted any differently when they interacted, although it was a little more rare nowadays. Minho only responded to tell you that Jisung needed space, but that he wasn’t sure what had happened. Felix had messaged you back to first accept your apology for bothering him and then tell you that he wasn’t sure what happened. No one did. Jeongin seemed clueless that anything had happened, Changbin said he’d see what he could find out (only to come up fruitless in that attempt), and Seungmin had been buried in his own schoolwork. If anyone had known something, it would have been Minho.

Which… admittedly was why you decided to wait outside the dance studio he worked at. He was teaching kids dance now, and it paid well enough that he could support himself. Plus he seemed happy, always getting along well with the kids according to Felix and Hyunjin when they volunteered to help a few times. You knew that he locked up in the evenings because he was the last person out, always taking an hour to himself to practice his own dancing. You listened to the jingle of keys and the loud click of the door, followed by Minho making his way down the steps. He noticed you all too easily, and slowed to a stop.

He shook his head, pocketing his keys. “I’m not telling you anything,” he said, as though he’d been expecting you to track him down. Maybe he did. Minho could have his airheaded moments the way you had your own, but he wasn’t stupid. “How long have you been waiting?”

“Maybe half an hour.” You crossed your arms, shivering a little in the cold. Maybe longer, actually. “I just want to know what’s going on with Jisung. I’m worried, Minho—he hasn’t said anything to me.”

He sighed, shaking his head. “He’s just going through a few things.” He stepped down off that final step, making his way toward home. He turned, speaking to you again, “He’s not ready to talk to you, so give him space for now. He’ll talk to you when he’s ready.” Then he turned away again, continuing his walk away.

That wasn’t enough for you. You hurried to catch up to him, “Minho!” You fell into step next to him. “Why can’t he just tell me that? That’s all I needed to hear from him. He knows he can tell me things, I just—”

Minho stopped suddenly, turning to face you. He reached up, hands resting on your shoulders. “When he’s ready, he’ll tell you. Don’t worry about him,” his fingers dug into your shoulders for a quick squeeze, “I’m taking care of him. Just wait for him.” 

Before you could question him further, Minho let go of you. All you could do was stand there, stewing in your thoughts. Minho knew, then. What he knew exactly, you weren’t sure, but he at least knew what was wrong with Jisung. You drew your phone back out of your pocket, opening it to your unanswered messages to Jisung. Maybe you shouldn’t have,  but you needed to say at least one last thing before you stopped trying to contact him. Just to he knew that you were still on his side:

I’m here if you need me, Jisung. Please take care. Love you.

And by the time you were home, he had reacted with a heart. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to tell you he’d seen your messages. 

At least he’d given you that.

Jisung still wasn’t speaking to you another week later.

He knew about Felix. How could he not know about Felix? He knew that you had ended things with him. He knew that Hyunjin was beyond pissed at you, and he knew you’d eventually figure that out. Jisung had spilled his feelings to Hyunjin when he pushed again. That he had loved you for so long now that he couldn’t remember a time when he didn’t love you. Hyunjin, to his credit,  had quietly listened to Jisung as he told him everything. Then when he was done, he scowled to himself.

“They hurt Felix,” he had said. “Because they love you.”

Jisung shook his head. “You don’t have to say things like that. I know they don’t—”

“No, they do, and you need to realize that.” Hyunjin crumpled the paper cup of coffee, getting up to throw it into the trash. “That’s why they turned Felix down.”

What the hell—Did you say something to Hynjin? “Did they tell you?”

“No.” He crossed his arms. “But I know. It’s a gut feeling. I always thought you were lying to me, but…” He let out a heavy sigh, shaking his head. “You deserve better than them, Jisung.”

Immediately, he was taken aback. “What?”

“They fucked with Felix’s feelings,” he said, “and I think that’s fucked up. I don’t care that they have feelings for you—they should have left Felix out of it. Why would they do this to him?”

“They liked him,” Jisung said, already quick to defend you. He was hurting, yes, but he wasn’t going to just let Hyunjin insult you like this. You weren’t some cruel person—you had genuinely liked Felix. What, were you supposed to keep dating Felix when it turned out you didn’t feel the same way? “They wouldn’t have dated him if they didn’t.”

“Did they?” He balled his hands into fists. “Or were they just trying to get over you?”

“They wouldn’t have hurt him on purpose!” Jisung hated how he teared up now. He was angry, he wanted to defend you, and yet the stress of fighting back now was already getting to him. “They were figuring out how they felt—they’re not a bad person for figuring out that they don’t like him like that.”

“I mean it,” Hyunjin said. “You deserve better. Felix does, too.”

Jisung didn’t know what else to say. Nothing he could say would change Hyunjin’s mind, would it? He was pissed at you, and nothing Jisung could say on your behalf would do anything. Only you could change his mind. 

“I’m still here for you,” Hyunjin said, voice a little softer than before. “I know it’s hard. I’m sorry, Jisung.”

Of course he was still there for him. Everyone would be—including Felix, if he knew. He saw a picture pop up a few days later of Felix out with Hyunjin and Changbin, smiling genuinely at the camera. He’d heard about how badly Felix had been hurting those first few days–. Changbin said he’d been crying for so long that night, genuinely heartbroken by how everything had gone down. Not that Changbin was upset with you at all: relationships sometimes just didn’t work out. It sucked that Felix was hurt, but everyone (excluding Hyunjin, who’s loyalty to Felix admittedly blinded him to anything you were going through) understood that the situation was complicated. It had to be, right? The two of you seemed to fit together so well…

Jisung shut his eyes, listening as he reworked this part in his song about you for maybe the millionth time now. The lyrics weren’t completely right, not flowing the way he wanted them to. But he’d never been able to get them right every time he tried to rewrite them, and it was too personal a project to ask for a second opinion on. He’d stopped working on it to console Felix at one point, only for him to ask point black if Jisung actually did like you. He denied it. the same way he always did and always would, and Felix didn’t push. Jisung couldn’t like you now. Not when it would hurt someone, and especially when it would hurt someone like Felix. Denying his feelings hurt, but pursuing you just felt selfish.

Suddenly, his headphones were pulled off his ears, and Minho stood next to him. He glanced at the screen and already recognized it to be the piece that Jisung had been working on constantly when he wasn’t working on schoolwork, and sighed. Jisung watched as Minho wordlessly made his way over to his closet, opening the doors and searching through his shirts. He yanked one off, throwing it at Jisung, who scrambled to catch it.

“Get dressed,” Minho said before Jisung could question him. “Chris is on his way.”

Jisung furrowed his brows. Chris was…? He looked down at the clean white t-shirt in his hands. “Did something happen?”

“We’re all going out,” he said, searching for a clean pair of jeans. He threw those at him, too, and then turned. “You’ve barely left the apartment outside of work and class. We’re going to sing your feelings out. Bottling them up won’t help you.”

Jisung only stared at him. Writing a song about you was the opposite of bottling it up… right? “I’m not—”

“You don’t have to tell us everything,” he made his way over, giving Jisung a gentle pat on the head. “But you can depend on us. We’re here for you.”

Jisung looked down at the clothing Minho had oh-so-lovingly thrown in his face, and nodded. He left his headphones on his desk, moving to change once Minho had left him alone. Soon enough, he had changed, and even sooner after that, Chris had shown up. If you were upset, Chris hadn’t said a word about it. He just threw an arm around Jisung, already bragging about how he’d have the highest score tonight if Jisung didn’t bring his game. It was almost nice to act as though nothing was wrong, even though Jisung saw the concerned looks Chris kept taking. 

He’d run his fingers over the smooth seats in the karaoke room, listening as Chris put in an order for drinks and snacks. All of this was his treat, he’d insisted over and over. This was entirely his idea, apparently (an idea Minho didn’t refute at all). Jisung kept glancing at the door, wondering if this was some plan they’d concocted to make the two of you talk. 

“Jisung, you should sing first,” Minho said, prodding his side to get his attention. 

Jisung looked to his two friends, who began to chant his name to motivate him further. This wasn’t a trap to make the two of you talk, then. The tension eased off of him. They wouldn’t do that to him—not like this, at least. He waved his hands, though. “No—It’s fine! One of you can go first.”

Chris stood up and began to cycle through the songs, humming to himself before stumbling across one. “Jisungie,” he cooed, “will you sing with me?”

Of course Chris had found a duet. It was from two members of a popular boy group, and Jisung had… admittedly listened to it more than a few times over the past two weeks. The song was about heartbreak to the point of begging the listener to say yes, to sing this song with them again, to let them stay again. It was easier to sing alongside Chris than to sing along, to share his pain through another song he’d had on repeat. 

And it became healing to belt out a ballad with his friends until his throat ached. To break down crying afterwards and be held by them as he sobbed. Something inside of him had finally broken down in the way it needed to. When replacing his battery once, the guy behind the counter told Jisung that it was okay to let his phone die sometimes, because even it needed rest. He didn’t know enough to know if this was sound advice, but he had always kept the advice in mind at least. Was that what this was? Had his own battery finally run out and this was his way of resting rather than tirelessly pushing forward, recharge after recharge? He’d leaned into Minho’s side, sobbing into his sleeve while Chris rubbed circles onto his back. 

By the time they left after buying another hour, Jisung felt lighter. He would always carry this heartbreak for you within him, yearning for something he needed to let go of to be better. But more importantly, things finally seemed clearer to him. He knew how to fix his song, lyrics perfected in the back of his mind. He typed them out into his notes app while sitting in the back of Chris’s car, just so he wouldn’t lose them. The melody came to him easier—something he’d need to change a little to be just right—and he tapped it out onto his jean-clad leg. The moment he was home, he would put it down onto paper. 

And when he finished his song, he could finally let go. Jisung promised himself that he would, and when he did that, he could finally let you back in if you would have him.

Almost three weeks without Jisung, and you felt like you were holding yourself together with thread. At first, you’d been angry once Minho told you to just wait for Jisung. If it was this serious, then Jisung should have told you himself that he needed space. A lot of space, apparently. Then came worry,  because had you done something to upset him? Was that why he wouldn’t so much as look at you anymore? Had you hurt Jisung without even knowing it. Or… Or did he figure out the real reason why you couldn’t be with Felix? Someone must have suspected your feelings for Jisung now. Chris had to know. Changbin already suspected something. Surely, one of them would have hinted at it to Jisung… wouldn’t they? Night after night, you found yourself searching through every text from your friend group for some answer that you were sure would never come to you. Something that someone had said to hint at what was wrong with Jisung.

And then the answer came to you in what someone didn’t say. Hyunjin had never responded to a single one of your texts. You hadn’t noticed at the time, far too caught up in trying to figure out the puzzle that was Han Jisung and his disappearance from your life. But you’d had enough, and if Hyunjin had the answers, then it was time to put a stop to this. You’d buzzed his apartment, and Seungmin let you in without much of a second thought. Hyunjin sat at their dining table, sketchbook open in front of him while he worked on thumbnails for a new assignment. He looked up, and immediately you saw disgust cross his face.

“Tell me what’s wrong with Jisung.”

You weren’t asking anymore: this was a demand. A week ago, you would have scurried in and pleaded for Hyunjin to just talk to you. But the scorn in his eyes was enough to tell you that Hyunjin knew something and, for whatever reason, he was beyond pissed at you. He scowled at you for a moment, but let it go, fading into neutrality. He leaned back after a moment, giving you a quick once-over.

“You’re being rude.”

Was he serious right now? Of all the people to deal with… “Hyunjin.” You folded your arms across your chest. “I mean it. If you do know something, then tell me already.”

His gaze was cold still, expression not betraying his true thoughts. “It’s none of your business.”

“Bullshit!” You snapped at him, fists balled as you stepped forward. “It’s been almost three weeks and I haven’t seen Jisung the entire fucking time—If it’s bad, then at least say that!” 

“What do you think the problem is?!” Hyunjin truly was pissed with you, voice now raising as he stood up. He pushed his sketchbook aside to where it would be safe, and stared you down. “You broke Felix’s heart, and it’s hurting the rest of us—and you should have thought about that before you asked him out.”

You sputtered. Was he pissed at you because things didn’t work out? “I didn’t know we wouldn’t work out! What was I supposed to do—pretend I still had feelings for him?”

“Tell him sooner.” He clenched his jaw. “Don’t lead him on when you clearly have feelings for Jisung.”

Seungmin gasped behind you, and you found yourself at a loss for words. Hyunjin knew? When—How—How the fuck did Hyunjin find out? You swore you’d always hidden your feelings well, but… “What are you talking about?”

His gaze was ice cold now, and he scowled at you once more. “You went out with Felix because you didn’t want to admit it. Now Jisung feels bad because he helped set you two up because you asked—Did you even like Felix?!” 

“I did!” You did. You truly did. But not every relationship was meant to last—and, hell, you never even became anything official. If you could turn back time, you would have ended things sooner. “I did,” you said, your voice softer as you reined in your temper. “I wouldn’t just mess with Felix like that, Hyunjin. He’s my friend, too.” You brought your arms up to hug yourself. “Hyunjin, do you really think I’d do that?”

Hyunjin didn’t say anything for a moment, the regret clear on his face. His fingers grazed the wooden table in front of him as he looked away from you, pressing his lips into a firm line. As upset as he was with you, assuming you would be so cruel to someone you both clearly cared about was… a little too far, wasn’t it? He took a deep breath as he calmed himself down, meeting your eyes after a moment. “I think you need to figure out your feelings. I’m tired of watching my friends hurt.” 

“I know.” Your lip trembled a little, and you fought back the urge to cry. “I can’t help how I feel about Felix, though. I know I should have told him sooner, but… I really, really didn’t know until we kissed. I promise.” 

Hyunjin said nothing at first, just watching you. He licked his lips a moment later, swallowing hard. “You really don’t understand, do you?”

All you could do was stare. Maybe he would give something away. “What?”

Seungmin spoke up after a moment, “Don’t you have that meeting? For your project?” He looked between the two of you. He looked at Hyunjin more pointedly after a moment, clearly annoyed at the confused look on his face. “Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin caught on for once, although you could tell that this was some sort of lie. “Right,” he said, reaching for his sketchbook. “I should go.”

There was no point in calling either of them out. They weren’t going to tell you anything now, and you needed to reflect on what had happened so far. You apologized for intruding and for coming in so hot, turning to make your way out of the apartment. While you still weren’t sure why, exactly, Jisung was upset to the point of not speaking to you… You understood at least a little more. It felt like everyone knew something that you didn’t, although the answer felt just outside of your reach. How much of it was you not knowing, though, and how much of it was you not letting yourself know? You weren’t sure. 

Hyunjin called your name before you left, hesitating before he met your gaze. “I think… I think you should talk to Jisung.” He frowned. “I’m still upset with you because of Felix, but… It’s weird that you two aren’t talking at all. So…” He made his way over, opening the door to leave with you. “Talk to Jisung soon.”

You would. Regardless of how you came out on the other end, you would talk to him no matter what it took.

Jisung had his favorite studio on the music floor of the arts building. He’d penciled in his time slot at the beginning of the week, and let himself in with the code. This room was the furthest from the entrance, and it had the most comfortable chair to settle in and work in. It was always a fight to get this room, and Jisung was good at quietly stealing a few time slots for himself. He shoved his bag underneath the table, and he put himself to work. He’d need to re-record the piano track for one piece, record the guitar accompaniment for another piece he’d been working on… And plenty more that was always best suited for working here rather than home. Using digital instruments only took him so far—there was something calming about sitting down and playing a piece himself. 

It wasn’t until he was playing a piece back that he heard the door click unlocked behind him. When he looked up, there you were. You looked tired. Far more tired than he did most days. What had happened to you? 

“Hey.” You stood in the open doorway. Non-music students weren’t allowed in here, but that had never stopped you. Someone had to drag him back home when it was getting too late, after all.

He ran a hand through his hair, hoping that he looked casual enough. “Hey.”

“Everything okay?” The door slowly fell shut behind you, and you stepped a little closer to him. “It’s been a while.” 

Three weeks, but who’s counting? Jisung was. He kept counting day by day, hour by hour, trying to whittle down the time further and further until he was strong enough to face you again. “I’ve been busy,” he half-lied. “That’s all.”

“Is it?” You frowned, making your way over to the nearby chair. “If you want me to leave, you can tell me, okay? I’m worried about you.” 

Jisung let out a sigh, nodding. “I’m okay. Just…” He looked at the piece he’d been working on, and thought back to the song he’d been writing for you. “I’ve been working on a song sometimes. But…” He looked at you. Maybe you’d have the answer he was still searching for. “What would you do if you loved someone you shouldn’t?”

“Like… forbidden love?” You tilted your head curiously, frowning. “Or…?”

He chuckled, actually smiling again for the first time in a while. Oh, how he was still so endeared to you. No wonder you were still in your literature program with cute thoughts like those. “Just someone you can’t be with. Like…” He hummed to himself. It would be another lie, but it’d throw you off his trail if you were starting to figure him out. “A friend’s partner.” 

He could see the way you started to think on that, no doubt making a list of all the friends the two of you had that were dating. It’d vex your brain for a bit, sure, but Jisung didn’t mind. He liked the cute way your brows drew together when you were thinking hard, lips always pressing into this pout. 

“That’s what my song is about is all,” he said. “I haven’t experienced it myself,” he lied again, “but I was thinking about it and I wondered what kind of song that would turn into. It’s about someone who’s in love with their friend’s partner, and struggling with those feelings. Like… They wouldn’t do anything to hurt their friend, but they still can’t  help their feelings.”

You said nothing to him. Had he said too much? You were figuring him out, weren’t you…?

“I just think it’s hard to live that life,” he said. Every time he even thought about you, there was an ache in his chest. Felix liked you, too. “I mean… Imagine loving someone so much that it hurts.” 

“I can, yeah.” Your voice had gone a little quieter than usual. Right. Had you felt that way about Felix…? Or were you talking about him now? Jisung struggled more with that one, even though Hyunjin was so confident that Jisung’s feelings had never been one-sided. 

He met your gaze a minute later, shy to look into your eyes again. He’d always loved the color of your eyes. If he could write songs about how he wanted to drown in their warm, loving gaze, he would. But that was straying a little too far into territory he’d sworn away from. “I’m sorry,” he finally said. “I wanted time to figure things out, but… I think Minho would tell you I haven’t talked to most people lately.”

You nodded. “Chris said the three of you went out to a noraebang.” Your toes tapped against the floor in that nervous way, as though this was a topic you shouldn’t even come close to. “Did that help?”

Wait… You weren’t mad at him for that. “It doesn’t bother you?”

“No?” You toyed with your sleeve, not quite meeting his gaze this time. “I mean… It did sting a little bit, but if you needed Chris and Minho, then I can’t change that. All I can do is just kinda hope that they helped you.”

He didn’t deserve you. Fuck the music for now, he’d finished what he really needed to do. He began to shut down the equipment, gathering his things as he stood up, facing you. “I’ll buy dessert,” he said. “Is that okay?”

it was your turn to smile at him, lighting up his world all too easily. You followed him out of the studio, and he secured the door shut to make sure it was locked. For a moment, his hand brushed against your own, and he yearned to hold it. Another feeling he would have to get used to, he was sure. But all he could do was smile at you, thankful that you were right there by his side for the first time in weeks. 

This would be hard, but he could do it. He wasn’t going to lose you again. Not if he had anything to do with it.

Hyunjin had shown up to his apartment for once, and he stood in the doorway to his bedroom. “Jisung. Tell them.” His hand curled around the strap of his bag, clutching it tight. “Soon.” 

Minho had told him the same thing ever since the two of you started talking again. If Jisung didn’t want to pursue you, then it was time he learned to let you go. And if he did want to become something with you, then he needed to talk to you. It wasn’t fair to either of you if he held onto this dream of loving you without ever trying. If Jisung couldn’t let himself do it, then why keep hurting himself by holding onto it so tightly? Why not find a new dream to pursue, a new person to love wholeheartedly? Yet Jisung couldn’t imagine a world where he wasn’t loving you in some way. Part of his heart would live and die with you one day, no matter how far away he went. This was his fate now.

“I just got our friendship back,” he said without looking up again. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Jisung, they like you.” Hyunjin said it outright. “So you need to tell them.”

Jisung looked up. He knew you liked him. But would he ever let himself fully believe it? It felt… harder to grasp that reality. He’d spent so long telling himself that it was all in his head, that the tender look in your eyes was just you caring for him as a best friend. But Hyunjin was right. Minho had been right. Everyone who had ever told him to just go for it was right. “Hyunjin, I don’t know if I can—”

“I’m tired of watching my friends hurt,” he said. “All of us see it. Why can’t you?”

Jisung swallowed hard. “What about Felix?”

Hyunjin averted his gaze, frowning. “Felix…” He took a deep breath. “Felix would want you to be happy, Jisung. He knows, too, you know.” He took a step back. “I’m not going to push you. But you should tell them.”

He said nothing else, and soon Hyunjin left him there. Jisung shut the world out again, listening to his song as it played back to him again. One step closer. Once he finished this song, everything would be okay.

Chris Bang had always been your best friend growing up before Jisung took that title away from him. He was an older brother to you in every way except blood, and that meant he was the one who would have the hard talks with you. He’d come home with your favorite takeout in hand, setting it on the dinner table before saying he’d change out of his work clothes quickly. But you knew what was coming. There were only two reasons that Chris would buy your favorite takeout on his way home from work. You weren’t upset, which meant it was time for an adult conversation. One that you wouldn’t want to have, but needed to. Soon enough, Chris had sat across from you, having poured your drink first. 

“So I think we should talk about how you’re in love with Jisung,” Chris said as he set down the bottle. “Okay?”

You stared at him, already feeling tears well up. Everyone knew, then. If Chris knew, then there was no way the others hadn’t figured it out. “Chris…”

“It’s okay.” He took your hand in his own. It was time for the two of you to dump your feelings onto the table and sort them out right then and there together. “Let’s talk about this, okay? No more running away.”

No more running away. You breathed in deep, and slowly exhaled. Where to begin…? You weren’t sure. So much of your life had become this huge mess over the past few months, and now all those strings were tangled so tightly together that you weren’t sure you could undo the knot.

So Chris squeezed your hand before letting go, turning his attention to the bag of takeout in front of you. “I know you,” he said. “So I know you didn’t want to hurt Felix, and I know that you still don’t. But… I think it’s time you put your feelings first for once.”

“Chris…” You frowned. “It feels too soon.”

“I kinda hate saying it, but we all know now. Felix included.” He set your plate in front of you, and didn’t touch his own. All he did was watch you, waiting for you to say or do anything further. When you didn’t, he decided to continue on, “You can’t tell me that you don’t want to act now because of Felix. I asked everyone and they all said the same thing: they thought you’d liked Jisung for a while before you and Felix dated. After that, they all thought that you two were just that close.”

“We are.” 

Chris shook his head, saying your name gently this time. “You know Jisung loves you, right?”

There was a spike of pain in your chest. Not because you didn’t, but because you did. Hyunjin had all but spelled it out for you before, but seeing Jisung again that day proved it. You’d always thought you were just believing in something that wasn’t there, too afraid to toe the line between friend and more. Tears lined your eyes now, and finally ran down your cheeks as you blinked. All you could do was nod now. 

Chris already reached up to wipe away your tears. “It’s okay!” He chuckled. “You’ve gotten so soft,” he teased. “But… Why did you never tell him?”

“I was scared.” You still were, to be fair. “I didn’t know for sure before, and… Now I just don’t want to hurt Felix. I don’t think Jisung does, either.”

His gaze softened so much. Of course the two of you were still thinking of Felix. Minho had said the same thing to Chris, actually. “Felix wants you to be happy,” he said. “All of us do. If that means being with Jisung, then that’s what you should do. Felix is an adult, you know. He might be more sensitive sometimes, but he’d never hold any of this against you.” He cupped your cheek gently. “And I really, really don’t think he’d want to be the reason you two never tried.”

You could believe that easily. If Felix knew, he’d feel guilty. That you knew as fact.

“And if I’m being honest… I don’t think he’s the only reason you haven’t tried.” He pulled his hand away from your face. “So… Talk to me. What’s really stopping you?”

No running away. “What if this doesn't work out and I lose Jisung for good?”

“There’s no guarantee that will happen,” Chris said. 

“There’s no guarantee we’ll work out, either.” You frowned. “I’ve heard horror stories of friends who tried to date and it ruined everything.”

“And there’s friends who managed to go back to being friends,” Chris said. “I really think that you two wouldn’t let it tear you apart. You’ve already been through so much, you know?” 

You shifted uncomfortably in your seat. The last thing you ever wanted was to lose Jisung again. If the two of you didn’t work out, how hard would you fight for him? Would he fight for you, too…?

“The most you’ll ever have to do is get space from each other,” Chris said. “But I think you’d come back to each other.”

“I think he’s my soulmate.” You hadn’t thought before you said it, the words bursting out of you all too easily. Regardless of whether that was platonically or romantically, Jisung was someone you wanted to keep in your life forever. “But…”

“But?”

“Isn’t it too soon?” You frowned at Chris. “I mean… Felix and I—”

“If you don’t go for it now, when will you?” Chris held your hand again. “If you aren’t ready to tell him, I won’t push you to do it. Just because you confess doesn’t mean you have to rush into a relationship—it just means you’re finally being honest with each other. Go at your own pace… But don’t hold back because of everyone else, okay?” He squeezed your hand reassuringly. “The only people in this relationship would be you and Jisung. So don’t include anyone else in this decision, okay?”

With a nod, you decided to commit to giving yourself three days. One day to make up your mind for sure on whether this was the right move to make. If you were going to confess to Jisung, then you wanted to do it sooner rather than later. The second day was to figure out how you were going to tell him. Over cheesecake, or in through a song, or in the park… You still had to figure that part out, and you would. It needed to be special. 

And the third day was going to be the day you told him.

On the rooftop of Jisung’s apartment was a community garden. It brought a little greenery into the city, and it was nice to see the plants that several people often tended to— fresh herbs that Minho would sometimes pick with permission to use when he cooked, a few tomato plants that he often saw people tending to, Things that he didn’t fully understand the care of himself, but he still appreciated the efforts put into it. It was a nice space to sit and think alone sometimes, most of his friends unaware of just how often he’d come up here. He could see so much of the city here, too. He was just one person in this great big city—in the world, even, if he let his mind wander that far. And yet he’d found significance through the people he loved, in the passions he pursued. 

He’d finished his song for you late last night, and now he was left with this hollow feeling. He’d told himself over and over that this song would be it: one last thing he’d dedicate to you, and then he’d move on. But… That wasn’t how it was going to work at all. Han Jisung knew a few things now. He loved you. You loved him. The only question he had left was how to tell you.

Maybe he should have written you a love song instead. Then he’d have something, at least.

He’d brought a drink out here with him, settling at the picnic table. He used to bring you up here sometimes, stealing away from the world for a while to just exist with you. You’d share drinks together, and a few times you’d ended up rained on. Now, he just lost himself to the playlist he’d been listening to, head bobbing along to the music. He could bring you here and confess to you at sunset. Would that be romantic? He didn’t care for it being a grand gesture, as long as it was something memorable. All he wanted was a gesture that told you that he was sorry but ready to face tomorrow at your side, if you would let him be there. 

The door to the rooftop had this awful screech that he could hear through his headphones. He opened his eyes, reaching to pull them around his neck and politely greet whoever had come up here. And it was as if you’d heard his thoughts, because there you stood in the golden rays of the day. 

“Hey.” The door had slowly swung shut behind you as you made your way over to him.

He shyly smiled at you. “Hi.” Now it was his turn to ask: “Is everything okay?”

You nodded, coming to the edge of the table. “I think we should talk about us.”

“Us?” His heart almost skipped a beat at that. Did you…? 

Oh. You knew. 

“It’s nothing bad,” you had said to him, as if it could put him at ease now. “But…” You rounded the table, throwing one leg over the bench he’d been sitting on. Instead of sitting normally, you chose to straddle it, just so you could fully face him.

So he matched you, throwing one leg out and turning to fully face you. “But?”

“I’m in love with you,” you said, voice wavering ever so slightly now. “And… And you’re in love with me.” You’d begun to drum your knuckles against the wooden bench. “And… And I don’t know why neither of us said anything sooner.”

Jisung stared at you, face growing warmer. His gut instinct was to deny it, to push his feelings away. But Hyunjin’s words rang out in his head: he was tired of seeing his friends hurt. Everyone was now.

“I really wanna be honest with you, so…” You took a deep breath, shutting your eyes for just a moment to center yourself. “Hyunjin thought I was using Felix to get over you, and… I just wanted to say that I promise I wasn’t. I really did like Felix, but…”

“I didn’t think you were,” Jisung’s voice was soft, and he reached for your hands. His fingertips grazed your knuckles before he pulled his hands away. Was touching you, even in such a tiny way, too much? “I knew you liked him.”

You nodded slowly. “Good. Because…” You’d grown flustered, averting your gaze. “I.. didn’t know that it’d always be you until I kissed him.”

That time, the world seemed to stop around him. It’d… always be him? “What?” His fingers curled around the edge of the bench. “I don’t understand. What do you—” 

A moment later, your eyes met his own. “I think I’ve been looking for you in every person I’ve tried dating, and that’s why it’s never worked out.” He’d already begun to melt, but you continued on, “If you didn’t love me back, then I think maybe one day I would have moved on. But… If you don’t, then tell me, and we can pretend this conversation never happened.”

He shook his head. The last thing he wanted was to pretend he didn’t love you. Yet something ached in his chest. Felix. Even now, all he could think about was how Felix would hurt once he knew the two of you were something. “I… I want to,” he said, voice softer now. “But what about Felix?”

“Would you hesitate if Felix didn’t like me?”

He shook his head. Never. He swallowed hard, his emotions building in his chest. He’d dreamed of a day like this for so long, always pining over you night after night. He dreamed of kissing you, warm and tender, and saying all the pretty things that came to mind. And now that you were in front of him, he couldn’t help but glance at your lips again. Not yet. “I…” He paused, just to gather himself together. “I didn’t think you’d love me, you know.”

You frowned at him. “Why not?”

“You’re you,” he said. “And… And I wasn’t sure if you’d ever like me like that. I’ve always known you liked me, but love is… different.” The paint chips from the bench were flaking onto his fingers now, the same shade of red as your sweater. As his, too. “I know Felix is hurting now, but it doesn’t change how I feel about you. I thought it would, but…”

“I get it.” You nodded slowly. “I… I also kinda thought things would change. But if everyone wants us to be happy, then I think we’re the only people standing in our way.” 

He didn’t want to. Not anymore. Jisung reached forward, this time keeping his hands over your own. “I think we should stop that,” he said, voice growing quieter. His eyes had grown wetter, tears brimming the edges, and reached up to wipe them away. “Sorry—I’m getting emotional.”

“It’s okay.” You scooted forward a little, and Jisung felt his heart begin to race. You were so close he could kiss you. He wanted to kiss you. You reached up, caressing Jisung’s face. He already leaned into your touch, eyes fluttering shut for a moment as he savored the feeling. Your hands were so warm, even now. “I think I’ll always love Felix the way I love the rest of our friends. But… I love you more, Jisung. I know it’s early to say it, but… I really think it’s you.”

He opened his eyes, taking in the way the golden rays of the sun were kissing your face. Was it wrong to be a little jealous? Again, his eyes flickered down to your lips for just a second. “Can I kiss you?”

You said the only word he needed, and he leaned in to close the space between the two of you. His nose had brushed against yours for a moment, already smiling before his lips met your own. Your lips were so soft, and his hands found a home at your waist after a moment. He’d always wondered what kissing you would be like, and now it felt as though he’d finally woken up from the longest dream in his life. His eyes fluttered shut as he lost himself in this moment with you.

He’d heard stories before of what it was like to kiss someone after so much pining, after so many trials in the way. People talked of having their breath stolen from them, or being unable to breathe from how surreal it all seemed to be. Yet when he kissed you, it was as though he could finally breathe again. He had resurfaced after drowning in so much self doubt and fear for far too long, and kissing you was living. Yet he knew that if he was given the choice to drown in you, he would have done it without a second thought. As much as you’d given him life with only a kiss, filling his lungs with air, he’d follow your siren song to the depths of the ocean all too eagerly if it meant he could taste this feeling once more. You ran a hand through his hair, and he was already intoxicated by you, his body yearning for your touch more than ever before. Yet when he pulled away, something had plucked his heartstrings one by one. He let out that broken, stuttered breath that always served as a precursor for him crying. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he gazed at you, trying to commit every part of this moment to memory. 

“Jisung?” You were concerned for him even after kissing him, and he wanted to laugh. To cry. To kiss you again. “Are you okay?”

He nodded, his hands finding your own all too easily. “I love you, too.” He’d always love you. Whatever part of his heart you had, it was yours to keep regardless of where this went. “I think it’s you for me, too.” 

By the time the two of you had made it back inside, the sun had set, and Jisung had held onto your hand tightly the entire way to his apartment. He’d given up his bed for you in the past already, he’d happily do it again to make sure you had a proper night of sleep. Maybe one day he would fall asleep next to you and memorize every line and blemish on your face, but not tonight. Kissing you and saying those three little words he’d always wanted to hear you say was plenty for one day. Yet he’d kissed you one last time as he left you at his bedroom door, just to kiss you goodnight.

“Jisung?” You’d called to him as he made his way to the couch, and he’d turned to face you one more time. “Dream of me.”

Oh. Oh. His heart had skipped a beat yet again at you. This was his new reality, wasn’t it? He found himself smiling at you, that same shy, pretty smile you’d later tell him you always wanted to kiss. He’d dream of you every night if it meant he could wake up to you, too. Tonight would be the end of strife and stress and strain from not telling you how he felt. Now he had to make up for so much lost time.

And if that meant that, starting tomorrow, he would tell you exactly what you meant to him, then he’d do it. That was what you deserved, after all, and what he did, too.

taglist: @twancingyunhao @weird-bookworm @bangchansbae @laylasbunbunny @jinnie-ret @cheesemonky

#wooahaes.fic #skz imagines #han jisung x reader #han jisung x you #stray kids angst #skz x reader #stray kids x reader #stray kids x you #skz x you #stray kids imagine #skz fics #stray kids fics #han x reader #han x you #skz angst

[loveundrwrld]

omg hiiiii i love ur writing smm <33 could i ask for a scenario of tanner x male reader where reader was super shy when he was bullied but years later tanner finds out he's somehow become a badass gang leader who wouldn't hesitate to beat his ex-bully up... i wonder what tanner's reaction would be to that hehe

also can i be 💖 anon? once again thank u <33

how sweet of you to say, thank you!! and to both your questions- yes, you may :) 💖 anon you shall be!

i will say, in his intro, seeing his darling act so reclusive and anxious after high school was what triggered him to rethink his actions- he wouldn't be quite as submissive towards him at first with his darling if he didn't go through that revelation. so tanner is a bit bitchy here since the "why is y/n acting like that"-> "oh no i've hurt him bad haven't i"-> "i'm in LOVE with him" process hasn't happened here.

thus, tanner is still in denial here :p and not as patient with his darling as he typically is

---

yandere ex-bully x gang leader male reader

(cws: violence (not against reader), organized crime, bullying, yandere is victim blaming, stalking)

tanner thought about you more often than he would ever care to admit. the shy, nervous boy he met in school who would cower from him like a scared puppy. something about you just made his hackles rise- he felt strange every time he'd seen you mumble and blush around him.

the strange feeling was annoyance, surely. you had been asking for attention, looking and acting the way that you did. you were always so shy and deferential around other people, always going along with being the butt of the joke. it was only natural that you were picked on a little.

but he'd matured since high school. he knew that bothering people and playing pranks on them was immature, no matter if you were basically asking for it. and if he'd seen you now he's sure you two would be polite and civil. you'd simply laugh and agree with him that he was a dick, and then you two could be best friends.

... or something. it wasn't like he thought about what meeting you again would be like.

and it was normal for people that went to the same high school to want to be curious about what their fellow past classmates had been up to, so he'd done some simple digging on you out of curiousity. nothing out of the ordinary. but you'd seem to have gone completely off the map, he'd not been able to find anything about you.

he was agitated that he couldn't learn more. he was worried for your safety, was all. i mean, you never posted anything online. for all he knew you could be dying or something. it was natural that he'd feel anxious right now.

but, he simply had to give up. he'd been trying to approach it from different angles, but he'd accepted that he'd reached a dead end.

except... until now. he was idly slouched over on the couch in front of his television, the news on as background noise. then, he perked up when he saw a familiar face come up on the screen.

it was your face that was glaring into the camera with a look of pure hatred, one that you certainly didn't have when he knew you.

good lord, what the hell happened to you?

"suspected gang activity in eastcliff- residents beware," the graphic read at the bottom of the screen.

he rushed to his laptop, wanting to check the arrest records for your shared state. he hadn't even considered this when he was looking up where you had been, it would have never have occurred to him that you would have gotten yourself in that much trouble.

and once the full report had loaded up? yes, it seemed that you actually were a criminal. you were arrested on a few charges but they got mysteriously dropped due to "unforeseen circumstances."

you hadn't been convicted of any felony charges yet, but he could tell that you were indeed involved in organized crime... somehow. and quite awfully high up in it, if you had corrupt police officers helping you escape any justice at all. it would have seemed like a laughable idea to him before, but he couldn't argue with what was right in front of him.

tanner scrunched his face up, his mind feeling blank from shock. how could this have happened? how could someone like you end up with such an... exciting life? how could you have turned out even more dangerous than him? his mouth felt dry, as a sense of bitterness seeped into him.

he didn't even know how to see what you were up to, to see why you turned out the way you did. surely you must have been forced into it. you couldn't have changed so much so fast otherwise. you were just a puppet with a nice face for the real people on top, obviously.

he felt a bit of bitter agitation, and tapped his leg as he thought. he couldn't live his whole life in mystery. he needed to know more about you.

there was one thing he could try...

---

it seems that his gambit to getting information about you had got your attention.

though, nothing could have prepared him from seeing you in front of him. you glared at him fiercely, your face so close to his that he felt your hot breath on his skin.

the eyes that used to be wide and quivering when you were younger were now narrowed and sharp. all he could see was the ice cold rage on your face. it was disorienting, to you someone shift into such a completely different person that you were nearly unrecognizable.

from a little puppy of a boy... to a fearsome wolf.

"of all the things you could do, tanner, you called my mother? don't you dare fuck with her," you growled at him, tugging hard at his shirt.

since when did you get balls? he felt that bubbling uneasy feeling he used to get whenever you were around him... only this time, it was stronger. he didn't like how this new you was effecting him.

you seemed much more dangerous than he was... and he didn't like it. wasn't it him who used to intimidate you? whatever happened to that?

he tried to laugh back at you, trying to stuff away any strange urges his brain was throwing at him.

"oh, come on- y/n, fuck with her? you're acting like i was trying to hurt her or something. i just called her. listen i know i was kind of a dick but really, you're making me out as the bad guy here and-"

you clocked him, hard on his temple. tanner stopped rambling and let out a small groan, the sharp throbbing pain causing him to fall down to one knee.

he opened his mouth to talk, but before he could say anything, you were already leaning down in his face.

"i don't want to hear from you ever again, you piece of shit. don't call or talk to me or my mother if you want all of your limbs intact. you may not know this, but i'm a big deal around here now. do not fuck with me," you say, your voice thick with anger.

for some reason... it felt like sparks and butterflies were running through him. something snapped inside his brain, connecting things. it occurred to him sudden why he had always felt so strange about you, why he was so obsessed with you.

you were hot. and this new you? strangely, he didn't dislike it at all.

"... got it," he said, breathily.

though, he didn't intend on keeping his promise.

#yandere x reader #male yandere #yandere oc #yandere x you #yandere oc x reader #tanner whitlock #male reader #i think tbh that this dynamic could be very interesting since tanner would have to rethink his strategy towards courting his darling #his instinct would usually have him want to act as a protector figure since he thinks strength is what he can bring to a relationship #but if his darling clearly is stronger/more dangerous he'll probably feel the need to switch things up quite a bit #though he’s still going to be whiny and desperate ala this scenario lol

[bulbabutt]

ok i wanna talk about tmnt 2007 and the way i think this is the best version of a leo and raph conflict, and also leo as a character

for context i've been talking about tmnt things kinda chronologically, so i'm gonna mention an unconditional understanding in 03 i bring that up in a previous post about that show and the family dynamics in it here if u want context for what i mean

i think this movie can really be appreciated for the place it has between adaptations, and the way character-wise everyone is more or less the same as they've always been but with a more interpersonal relationship as the focus. the main villain of this movie doesn't really matter, the conflict, the fights, that's not where the strength is (although, it is reflected in the conflict and ill get into that)

so tmnt 07 is one movie that kind of combines the 90s movies, 03, and mirage all in one place, and tonally is is similar to the show that will come after it, 12. if the 90s movies give us conflict between leo and raph, and 03 gives us the unconditional understanding between the two, 07 takes these two aspects and creates a story out of it. (debate in your own mind if this movie is a literal sequel to the 90s ones or not, its not that important)

the set up of this movie is we are in a post killing the shredder world. leo has been told by splinter to go get training elsewhere, there isn't much context for what happened to cause this, but i would bet its a similar cause to 03, where he had ptsd and lashed out at his father to which splinter sends him to his grandfather to get better advice than he thinks he can give him. the difference here is there is no grandfather hes sent to, he's sent on a journey of self discovery around the world to learn about it and himself.

the thing about leo as a character, and this goes for all leos, he's has a very black and white way of thinking. leo thinks he's been sent away because he's failing his family, that he's not a good enough leader. so he stays away for longer because he doesn't feel good enough. he finds a place where he can help and he does that. leo always needs a bad guy to fight, or else he's fighting his own demons. so he stays there for a long time. finding a place he can help quietly, never letting anyone see him, and becoming a legend to the locals because no one knows what's really going down.

april manages to track him down and tell him about whats going on with his brothers, how they're holding up without him and without being a team, and i think thats a good reminder for him that they miss him. he doesn't tell april but he finds a way home only after hearing about this. when he arrives and speaks to splinter, he says "i was so caught up in my own world i forgot about everyone else, i'm sorry i failed" he still doesn't feel like he's done anything of worth.

i'm gonna jump in here and say, you know how we all love rise raph? cuz hes the big brother and some traits that come from that are like being overprotective and taking on everyone else's problems and trying to handle emotions alone? well that's a trait thats usually leo's. but the difference with leo is sometimes that concept doesn't make you as likeable. sometimes it means you come off like a nagging mother hen who thinks they know best but in an arrogant way. sometimes it makes you mirror being a parent when no one asked you to be. leo's less of a passionate character than raph, hes more analytical and full of himself. he takes splinters lessons more seriously, and hes always trying to do whats best for everyone so they don't have to worry. this is something evident with 03 and 12, but its so specifically noticeable here because these traits make up the main conflict. i just want to bring that up so we start seeing leo as no different than some of our other favourite iterations.

splinter responds to his apology by saying "you owe me no apology, but perhaps you should talk to raphael, your absence has been particularly difficult for him, though he'll never admit it" but when leo greets him raph is brushing him off.

on raph's end, this is him being angry that leo left, and angry that hes back and everyone wants to pretend that he wasn't gone at all. as if the time he was gone didn't happen. hes lashing out because he too cant handle talking about these emotions. and hes lashing out by becoming a vigilante in his own right.

i see a lot of people misunderstand what raph is doing here, that "this is what the turtles always do" or "this is the same as what leo was doing how could he be mad" when that is not true. that's what casey does. its true that both leo and raph have been fighting bad guys on their own (as a way of dealing with their issues) but raphael has made himself a costume to disguise himself which means hes prepared to be seen. hes riding a motorcycle around, which is loud. this isn't stealthy, this is aggressive. his vigilante name is in the news. the turtles are ninjas, they silently help where they can and fade into the night and, very specifically, they work as a team. these turtles live in a dangerous world, what if something happened to him while no one else was around? they would never know because he never told anyone.

so raph is lashing out, and leo doesn't have a good way of dealing with it. he tries to slide back into being leader, doing what splinter says but he forgets how his brothers are, and with raph egging them on they get into fights they shouldn't. which leo specifically gets in trouble for, as the oldest brother, and as their leader. leo tries to be this better leader hes supposed to have learned to be, but it doesn't work and raph ends up back out there in his vigilante get up. leo tracks down said vigilante, and in his peak "leo knows best" moment, lectures him, not knowing its his brother. there's a scuffle, and the mask comes off. let me point out that casey knew this vigilante was raph but his own brother didn't, because leo has been gone that long.

so lets get into what this fight is really about. on the surface, its "wow you've been going out at night alone putting yourself in dangerous situations with no backup" and "so what you're just mad that i can do it without you" which leo would be right about. and this is the analytical leo, he really thinks that's all that's going on here. what hes missing is that raphael has missed him as a brother, and hes hurt that leonardo left and just came back no big deal. that he wants everything to be normal. raphael is always a character with big emotions and the only outlet he knows to express them is violence.

leo, who as we've established, went away to learn to be better for his family is angry that raph doesn't see that. he's mad raph doesn't appreciate the effort he went to, and he thinks he's just angry because he's not in charge. each brother sees the other as being arrogant.

this leads them to the big fight. no one can disagree that this is the best part of the movie (seriously watch the movie for this scene if you haven't seen it before) , but the real best part of it is that raphael wins. raph proves hes just as capable of a fighter as his brother, if not more-so. he uses those sais as they're supposed to be used, catching leo's swords and in a fit of rage he fucking breaks them, leaving leo defenceless and completely vulnerable to attack. you'd think he'd be smug that leo lost but he pauses, going through a lot of emotions in a moment, questioning what he's doing, why hes doing it. and leo finally looks his brother in the eye and sees raph going through something he didn't before, realizing raph hasn't been angry that he's back, but that he's angry that he ever left. they don't have a conversation, because raph cant handle all these emotions and he runs away, crying as he does. leo just watches him, taking it all in and realizing the error of his ways.

hearing leo scream turns raph around, but he's too late to help him, and this is where raph regrets his own actions because right then, leo is also proven right in his argument. because he gets kidnapped. if leo hadn't chased raph down, there is a very good chance that would have been raph being kidnapped. with no backup, with no one knowing what happened to him. that's why its important that the turtles are a team.

raph goes home full of guilt, and there's a good moment of showing how he cannot open up emotionally here, because he grunts, punches the wall, knocks over some weights and forces splinter to ask him what happened, because that's how raphael is. he laments to his father that he finally understands why leo is the better son, proving that to raph none of this was about their team, but about their family. conflating the two ideas in his head. splinter gives him a talk that mirrors what he said to leo when he returned earlier in the movie, encouraging him that he is a good son and brother. this shows that these brothers have very similar insecurities about their value to their family.

the rest of the movie plays out as you expect, they go save leo, they stop the bad guy, they reconcile and behave as the team they're supposed to be. but i just want to point out that the villains plot is mirrored in leo and raph's conflict. the 'villain' here is a brother who has been cursed to be immortal without his own siblings. for 3000 years he lived to regret his actions and decided to undo his curse, but he used the cursed stone versions of his siblings to do so. no communication, just thinking he knew better (which maybe he did) and lying about it. that caused them to lie to him right back, and try to overthrow him and destroy the world. this is just one family whose inner turmoil could have destroyed the world. you might say, oh that's not a very interesting turtles villain, but its not supposed to be. its not the focus.

this movie is all about the complicated relationship between a family, and i see so many people talk about it by trying to ask who's right and who's wrong. that's not how it works. life is more complicated than that, people are more complicated than that. its boring to look at this movie and just say "leo is wrong and raph is right" because that's not even how the characters see it. this movie is about leo and raph being mirrors of each other in their arrogance, in their insecurities, and in their stubborn pig-headed refusal to let the other know how they feel. splinter says as much at the start of the movie. this whole movie shows that without each other, they need to be fighting something so they don't get swept up by their own emotions, which they are both bad at processing. they are SUCH brothers. they are so similar emotionally, yet they have such a hard time understanding each other.

personally 07 leo is my favourite leo for his complexity, his flaws his strength, his growth. its sad we never got those sequel movies to get into the other brothers heads as much as we got into leo and raphs heads.

also nolan north and james arnold taylor gave the best vocal performances in this movie and they deserve all the credit for it.

#tmnt #tmnt 2007 #tmnt 07 #teenage mutant ninja turtles #07 leo #i will defend 07 leo to death does no one understand his autistic swag like i do #all leos are like this he just got to shine cuz the movie was ABOUT his and raphs issues #this has been in the drafts for a while and in the mind a LOT longer than that #sorry its long idek if thats all i have to say about him but CLEARLY its long enough #thoughts

[merotwst]

EVEN WHEN THE LEARNING'S DONE AND NOTHING'S NEW !

‹ . housewardens ›

· scenario drabbles

⇝moments that happened in your married life.

[ n: a little something to get myself out of a writers block. not proofread and not very confident of my writing bcs ahaha i havent written in a hot minute + no motivation. this took me almost a week to finish but i still hope u guys enjoy ! ilyyyy ]

⑇

- - - → tw. children (does that count as a tw?????? idk man kids jumpscare in kalim's part)

⑇

riddle rosehearts ‹ heartslabyul ›

it wasn't rare for riddle to be working so late. he was a busy man and lived up to his parents' legacy of being the best of the best. you were aware of this when you said yes to his proposal to spend a life with him forever but as his spouse, it pains you to see him overwork himself sometimes. it wasn't the first time you woke from your quiet slumber at 2 in the morning to an empty space beside you. your feet padded across the cold marble floor through the hallway adorned with photographs gilded in gold of you and him that have been taken over the years. a soft knock at the mahogany doors to his study and a quiet response from the other side permitting you to come in. the tea on the tray you carried made riddle sigh with relief, the tension in his body seemingly fading away. he had a soft smile on his face as he brought the teacup to his lips.

“come to bed, riddle. it's so late.” you urge him gently as you made yourself comfortable on one of the chair on the other side of his desk.

he gave you weary look, “i'm not sure i can yet, my love. there's still so much work to do.”

you let out a soft sigh, “i figured as much.” you whispered, standing up and walking around the desk to give him a soft kiss on the lips, “i'll be heading back to sleep then.” you inform him and quietly made your way back to the room.

it wasn't rare for riddle to be working so late. he was a busy man who lived up to his parents' legacy of being the best of the best. it was rare, however, for him to softly close the bedroom door behind him leaving his study and his paperwork unfinished to slip under the covers and wrap his arms around your form.

“what made you change your mind?” you asked, a loving hand on his cheek.

“you did,” he said with a sheepish smile on his face, “you always do.”

⑇

leona kingscholar ‹ savanaclaw ›

when you choose to accept a prince's request for your hand hand marriage, you're not only accepting him as a person, you're also accepting the responsibility that comes with becoming royalty. since the day you and leona exchanged your vows, for better or for worse and till death do you part, the title of royal has been embedded onto your name and cemented into sunset savannah's history for all eternity. what you do and say will be seen, heard and talked about by the public. it's your duty to be present, not just for your husband the royal family, but for yourself as well.

so you do your part. you attend the balls, you speak out on important issues that need attention. you smile, you wave, conversing with other country's political leaders and powerful people. you learn to adapt and navigate through the life of a royalty one step at a time. you were doing your best but sometimes it felt like it wasn't enough. and that's when he comes in to yank an ipad out of your hands and snap you out of your trance. he says dwelling on ridiculous articles and getting yourself all affected negatively by it doesn't do anyone any good. that's when he wipes the frustrated hot tears from your cheeks as he sits beside you on the bed, a softer tone now etched in his tone when he spoke, “i know it isn't easy.”

you sniffle in response, your voice shaky as you spoke in uneven breaths, “i'm trying so hard,” a sob, “why does it always feel like i'm always running short? why am i sometimes being treated like i don't know what's happening?”

leona's tail flicks, “did the articles tell you that? or was it the servants whispering in the halls? the people in the ballrooms?” he places a hand on your chin and gently makes you look at him, “listen, i don't know what you overheard or read—but the fact that you undermine your own achievements for the validation of other people is annoying the shit out of me.”

his eyes bore into you as his hands squeezed yours, “you're not royalty from birth, but the amount of things you were willing to change—willing to do just so you can be with me still constantly leaves me in awe. the politics, the royal etiquette and other pointless bullshit takes years to master. you're almost halfway through the progress bar despite being so new to it all.” leona places his forehead against yours, “even if the whole world is against you, i'll be by your side. i've never been more proud to have you as my partner. fuck everyone else.”

when you choose to accept a prince's request for your hand hand marriage, you're not only accepting him as a person, you're also accepting the responsibility that comes with becoming royalty. since the day you and leona exchanged your vows, for better or for worse. you've done all of this just for him. you would keep doing it just for him because know he'd kidnap every star in he sky if you asked him to. you can cry, you can scream, you can be angry—but he's always there and always will be and till death do you part.

you let out a breath you didn't even know you were holding in the entire time. and with a raspy voice and a genuine smile, you whisper back.

“fuck everyone else.”

⑇

azul ashengrotto ‹ octavinelle ›

homesickness is something you've dealt with the first time you were practically punted over to this twisted world you now reside in. but over time, you realize that this world was always more comfortable for you. it became home whenever you were in the arms of your lover. you found comfort in azul's arms so gentle and tender around you—as if you were the rarest and most fragile seashell he picked up from the depths of his home in the sea. eventually, you stopped thinking of the life you've left behind. you were happy here and that's what mattered.

likewise, he found his home in your arms around his neck in a warm embrace like the first rays of the sun just as the winter season was coming to an end. but unlike you, azul had access to his home. he just never had much opportunity to come back to visit. his life with you on land was what you both collectively decided on. a house near the beach, but nowhere near where his home is at. just enough to breathe in the salt air and the cool embrace of the ocean breeze on his skin. and on more than one occasion, you've seen him let the waves wash over his feet after he'd come back from work. his shoes in his hands as he mindlessly watched the sun set over the horizon.

“a penny for your thoughts?” your hand subconsciously finding its way to his, fingers interlocking together and fitting together perfectly.

“just thinking of the coral sea.”

“i've told you last time we should go to visit again.”

azul let out a sigh and you knew why he didn't like going back to the coral sea—to several memories of his past littered across every corner of the place. he looked at you wearily, the dimming orange beams of the sun coated his face with a lovely hue that made him look almost ethereal and melancholic.

“it's hard going back there sometimes,” he admitted, his head hung, “it took a lot for me to take you back there... to show you everything i've been running away from.”

“and i love every part of it. every part of you, azul.”

you squeeze his hand gently, “it's never always sunshine and calm seas. and i'm always here to embrace you when storms come.”

homesickness is something azul's never really dealt with in the years he's been away from sea. he was happy to be out of there and start anew—but he didn't have a home. no, he was always relying on himself. but over time, he realized that this world was always more comfortable with you. it became home whenever he was your arms, his lover. you were his new home. and no matter where he would end up, he always finds himself running home to you.

⑇

kalim al-asim ‹ scarabia ›

“baba's here!” was exclaimed by an energetic boy popping out from the blanket fort you all built together. giggles bounced around the walls as little pairs of feet padded along the floor. the children both ran to their father, the younger one trying her best not to trip and fall on her way there. kalim, who was still in conversation with jamil as he entered the room, had been cut off by the squeals and giggles of the children running to his embrace.

“ya malayiki! 'abi saeid jidana liruyatik maratan 'ukhraa!” (oh, my angels! dad's so happy to see you again!) your husband exclaimed excitedly, wasting no time kneeling to catch their warm embraces in full, “have you two been good?” he asked, lifting your daughter up in his arms earning an excited giggle from her and taking your son's hand in his free one before standing back up, “naeam ya 'baba!” (yes daddy!), your little girl giggled excitedly, “we built a house!” she squealed, pointing at the blanket fort. it was quite a big fort filled with small fairy lights and plenty of pillows and maybe a few snacks littered here and there from their 'construction break'. you three had spent hours making ‘the biggest house for baba’ for when he would get back and the kids are evidently very proud of the outcome of their hard work.

“(maman/baba etc.) said we could sleep here tonight!” the little boy chimed in, shaking his dad's hand to catch his attention. kalim could only grin widely at this, “well,” he started, “since you both worked so hard building the house, i say we all sleep here tonight!” the gasps from the kids and the happy cheers that followed indicated the joy they felt. he's always been a natural with them and you always adored him with children. it's just that he can get quite busy sometimes, which even he has told you about how saddened he is whenever he's apart from his family. and so whenever he has time, you can be sure every second is devoted to you and the kids. his whole heart is with you, after all. always has been since the moment he laid eyes on you all those years ago.

“alright kids,” he said, placing a kiss on your daughter's cheek and squeezing your son's hand gently, “jamil will take you to get you cleaned and ready for bed, okay?” they both grinned in response, “okay!” the kids said simultaneously.

“kalim.” jamil gave a disapproving look, “how many times must i tell you that this is the nanny's job and not mine.” he said in an annoyed tone while simultaneously taking the little girl in his arms and holding onto the boy's hand. this is when you come in from behind, wrapping your arms around your husband's waist, “aw, but they like you, jamil. don't you, kids?”

“i love uncle jamil!” the younger one giggled, “he's one of the funny grown ups.”

jamil let out a defeated sigh, “come on, children. let's get you both cleaned up.” he said, softly shaking his head and if you looked close enough you could see the soft smile on his lips as they walked away.

as soon as the silly questions of, ‘when will you get married’ and ‘can i pet your parrot, uncle?’ faded off into the distance, kalim wasted no time peppering every inch of your face in kisses and tackling you to the blanket fort as both of you giggled and laughed like middle schoolers rolling over the soft silky fabric under your skin. safe to say no matter how old you get, the love you and your husband share will forever remain the same as when it first blossomed from years ago.

⑇

vil schoenheit ‹ pomefiore ›

vil liked to keep things organized. he liked to keep a schedule he strictly follows like the skincare routine every night or the color patterns of what fashions he'd decide to wear that day. it's the same as when you were both courting. he had a routine to follow whenever you would see each other on a date. flowers, then he'd check if you dressed right, take you out and give you the best night of your life.

and you know how people say ‘change is good’? well, there are also some things that stay the same over the years. and that was good for you, too. like how he'd book the best restaurant in the city or take you out for a romantic cruise on your wedding anniversary. those nights were always perfect. and at the end of those nights is the same as well. paparazzi flashing their cameras at your face asking the most ridiculous questions. people getting in your business. that was the down side of your relationship with vil, but it wasn't anything you couldn't handle. you knew what you were getting into the day you married him.

but oh sevens. when will they give you a break? it's your wedding anniversary with vil again tonight and he had a whole evening planned out for you. but there was a swarm of paparazzi outside the penthouse you were staying in. your husband had an upcoming movie and that had everyone abuzz and trying to get some statements out of him. there were so many to the point where you both had to go back inside because you could see the camera flashes with your eyes closed. well, you could. vil was used to it. but he wasn't about to force you to run out there with him again. your perfect night hasn't started yet and you already looked exhausted from that temporary encounter. vil silently cursed them for that.

after maybe 30 minutes of waiting for them to leave and with no luck of it ever happening, the blonde stood up from his spot on the couch, “that's it,” he spoke with a tone of finality in his voice, “get changed, darling. we're leaving.”

the confusion was evident in your face and it only made sense when vil came out wearing a hoodie, jeans and mask over his face. he hated wearing such common looking clothes, but sometimes situations call for it. and for you, frankly, he would do almost anything.

vil liked to keep things organized. he liked to keep a schedule he strictly follows like the skincare routine every night or the color patterns of what fashions he'd decide to wear that day. he absolutely hated when his plans wouldn't pull through but sometimes he finds serendipity in even the most dreary situations with you. you could spend your anniversary on a special yacht with the best waiters serving you first class meals and a candlelit dinner or just in a parking lot inside your car with cheap wine that you both agreed tasted awful but kept drinking anyway and at the end of the day, everything still works out. as long as you're by his side, he can learn to be contented even with all the disorganization of ruined plans as long as he's laughing to trashy radio podcasts and temporarily (today's a special exception, he says) ruining his diet for you.

⑇

idia shroud ‹ ignihyde ›

your husband, your favorite person, best friend, the only one you love enough to spend the rest of your life with... can sometimes be a little irritating. you know idia better than most people around you. he wasn't exactly the easiest person to get to know because of his very reserved personality but he is one of the smartest and funniest people you know. and you'd hoped that since he is one of the smartest people you know and you're actually married to him, he'd lend a hand when you're trying to do a little bit of spring cleaning to at least make the house look like it's a habitable place and not just a reserve for an endless supply of red bull and monster energy drinks. though the house wasn't necessarily ‘messy’, but it always seemed pretty empty and lacking a bit of life to it. so you thought of doing a bit of rearranging, putting up new decorations and replacing a couple furnitures which you both had bought and majority picked out by him.

this has been the third time you'd checked in his office and your patience was growing thin. you watched him from the doorway as he typed away some sort of code in his computer which was the only light source in the room. you crossed your arms as you called out his name, “idia shroud.” before flicking the light switch on making him hiss at the sudden brightness. he flinched upon seeing you. uh-oh. you used his full name, this can't be good.

“i've been calling you down to help me assemble the table. i'm not good at building things!”

“and i told you i'd be there in a bit. i'm just finishing things up around here.”

“idia.”

“okay! fine. jeez you don't have to threaten me.” he threw his hands up in the air in defeat as he stood up from his chair, “you're lucky i love you.”

you cocked a brow at this comment, arms still crossed across your chest and he rolled his eyes, “fine. other way around, i know. i'm lucky you love me.” he sighed but this time with a smile on his face as he leaned in to plant a kiss on your forehead, “now where is that table you need me to build?”

your husband, your favorite person, best friend, the only one you love enough to spend the rest of your life with... can sometimes be a little irritating. but you know idia better than most people around you. and he sometimes would seem detached and spends most of his time in his own company in front of his computer, he truly cares about you and your happiness. the amount of love he shows through the things he does, even the most menial of tasks like bearing the new, less darker curtain colors that you wanted to put up on the windows or stopping whatever new project he was trying to develop to help you move the new couches around the house. he would never do this for anyone else. and as you both sit under the kitchen counter, a bag of open chips on the floor and soda in your hands looking over at the new house makeover you both spent all day working on, you smiled.

“i'm lucky you love me.” you said, taking a sip of your soda and putting your head on his shoulder. he let out a short, breathy laugh before placing a soft kiss on your temple, “wanna go play mario kart and ruin our newly bought couch with chip crumbs?”

“sure.” you said, slowly standing up. you took a few seconds to stare at each other before you started sprinting to the couch, “last one to get there is in charge of cleaning it up!”

“hey, no fair!”

“nothing's fair in mario kart, babe!”

⑇

malleus draconia ‹ diasomnia ›

you once told your husband that one of your most favorite things about him is his smile and the way it so gently breaks out around you. his booming laughter that follows as you eat dinner at the big, lonely castle that was once the place he walked around alone that now feels more alive after he'd married you. you make the most emptiest of places feel alive with love and laughter. you painted his life with colors that he could never see with anyone else.

and speaking of painting, he'd snapped out of his thoughts at the sound of the metal part of he paintbrush clinked on the glass of the jar as the painter dipped the brush into the water. he gave you a glance where you were sat, looking straight at the back of the canvas as if trying to bore a hole onto the painting focusing on keeping your face straight and expressionless as instructed. it was traditional for briar valley's royalty to have their portraits painted whenever there was an addition to the family. and this case, the new addition was you when you both married. and now as he sat beside you, stealing glances he was sure you noticed by the way your lips twitched, he couldnt help but think of how the morning sun's rays seeping into the room that bathed your skin with the soft golden glow of the 10:00 am sun. it made you look absolutely beautiful. well, you always looked beautiful in his eyes. it's why—

someone cleared their throat.

“your highness,” the painter called out to him, “eyes front, if you please.”

he quickly straightened himself, “my apologies.” he hastily responded. he could hear you suck in a breath beside him, probably trying to contain the giggle that was trying to escape your throat.

another 20 minutes of silence passes. just the soft brushing of the paintbrush against the canvas and the occasional clink of the glass could be heard. he couldn't help but steal a glance at you again but to his surprise, you had your eyes on him as well. upon seeing his gaze shift to your figure, you immediately played it cool pretending you weren't looking but the way the smile threatened to break your facade betrayed you. malleus couldn't help the corner of mouth from twitching.

you did your little inhale again to try to compose yourself but uncharacteristically for him, he found that quite humorous abd had to clear his throat to keep him from letting out a laugh.

now that made you break out a smile and clear your own throat to try and stop yourself from bursting into full blown laughter.

you heard the irritation of the painter in the way he placed his paintbrush down. he stood up and gave you and malleus a sharp look before speaking in a very annoyed voice, “i shall go and have a drink delivered to both highnesses as to aid you both in the supposed strains on your throats.”

he made his way to the door, grumbling to himself about how ‘undignified’ or how ‘not taken seriously’ the situation was.

there was a moment of silence before you and malleus burst into a fit of bubbly laughter. his laughs were in his chest escaping in low vibrations while yours were loud and sharp simply to show how hilarious you found the situation to be. with how glorious both your attires were for the portraits looking like the epitome of royalty, the way you were both giggling like teenagers simply threw all the gloriousness out the window.

you once told your husband that one of your most favorite things about him is his smile and the way it so gently breaks out around you. his booming laughter that follows as you eat dinner at the big, lonely castle that was once the place he walked around alone that now feels more alive after he'd married you. even the most boring events in his life that once he would have been forced to accept in all its blandness would be splashed with the most vibrant colors whenever you were in the picture. his life, his love, his pride and joy—you. now that he's seen colors he never would've imagined to be possible to exist in all its dazzling beauty, he can never go back to the dreary shade of gray that hazed over his life. you were his freedom, and he would be ready fight the world to hear your laughter by his side till death do you part.

© merotwst 2023 · do not copy, translate or reproduce.

#. merowrites #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland imagines #riddle rosehearts #riddle rosehearts x reader #twst riddle #riddle x reader #leona kingscholar #leona kingscholar x reader #twst leona #leona x reader #azul ashengrotto #azul ashengrotto x reader #twst azul #azul x reader #kalim al asim x reader #kalim al asim #twst kalim #kalim x reader #vil schoenheit #vil schoenheit x reader #twst vil #vil x reader #idia shroud #idia shroud x reader #twst idia #idia x reader #malleus draconia #malleus draconia x reader

[closetsof-backlogged-dreams]

okay so I’ve seen and loved a bunch of these posts already but everything u say is immediately correct and amazing and sending u asks is the best

opinions on why zukka works and makes sense as a ship and if you think it could work in canon (outside of fanon)?

I CANT BELIEVE YOU JUST MADE MY ENTIRE LIFE COMPLETE AND FULL BY ASKING ME THIS QUESTIONNNN (strap in folks hold on to your hats keep a good hold on your bladders bc this is 10+ years worth of BUSINESS)

Why "Zukka" works and makes sense as a ship

something i've discussed THROUGHLY with my notes app and a school slides presentation is that Zuko and Sokka are both direct parallels AND contrasts to one another, at the same time. i'll list them out here:

Their fathers' roles in their lives

Both Hakoda and Ozai were the leaders of their respective nations, with Sokka and Zuko as the heirs. Then, they both become absent in their sons' lives and leave them to fend for themselves.

This is a parallel, but this is also where they contrast. Sokka's father left to go fight in the war, a noble and honest pursuit, and left Sokka to protect his sister and the village.

Ozai, on the other hand, cast Zuko out of the nation and forced him to protect and defend himself, while effectively turning all their people and his own sister against him.

Their sisters' roles in their lives

Despite both of them being the oldest sibling and brother, they both have severe inferiority complexes due to their younger, powerful bending sisters.

With Katara, she was the only waterbender in the entire tribe, a marvel. She could learn to protect the tribe in a way that Sokka had been trying all his life, and she eventually does. Despite all this, Katara is still a grounding and valued person in his life, and he would be completely lost without her (something he openly admits to in canon!!)

With Azula, she was a prodigy firebender, while also being a special kind of keen and cunning. She was adored by their father and grandfather and Zuko could never quite measure up. Because of this, Azula is the main villain in Zuko's childhood. She does everything she can to break him down, and that continues when she returns as a character in his life in season two. All throughout the show, instead of being a source of comfort and familial love, she is his main obstacle he must overcome.

The loss of their mothers

Both Sokka and Zuko lost their mothers at very young ages to the Fire Nation, but they had vastly different impacts on their families (and further developed their sisters' roles in their lives!!)

When Sokka's mother died, she was killed by a Fire Nation general. Katara quickly took over the motherly role in his life, cementing her place as a grounding and comforting force. Her death also did not break their family. It deeply hurt all of them, but Katara, Sokka, and Hakoda still loved one another just as much as before.

When Zuko's mother died (obviously not really, but this is what he believes for many years), she was "killed" in order for his father to ascend to the throne and become Fire Lord. This left Zuko without anyone to protect him from Azula's tormenting and cemented her place as a destructive, villainous person in his life. Ursa's death also did destroy their family. Whatever way she had managed to keep them all together was eradicated, and Zuko was left with a sister and father that resented him and a sister fighting for his place in the line of succession.

Their obessesions

Both Sokka and Zuko had two bone-deep obsessions that were very defining parts of their characters in the first season, that slowly wavered and faded away as the story progressed and they developed as people. They were both given these obsessions by their fathers immediately before they became absent in their lives (whether leaving themself or sending their son away) and proceeded to dedicate their entire life to these goals in the name of honor.

With Sokka, his father asked him to protect his sister and his village. Sokka then dedicates all his time and energy to becoming a brave soldier and training the children of the village in order to protect his people. This is seen further in season one even after they leave, when he is overly protective of Katara and constantly worried for her safety (something this fandom doesn't talk about enough!!)

With Zuko, his father sent him on a wild goose-chase to find the hundred-years-lost Avatar, and when he actually does, all he can do is chase after Aang so he can go back home. As we see in season three, letting go of capturing the Avatar was essentially letting go of his former self.

Unlearning their flawed cultures (the big one!!!!)

Both of their cultures had many flaws that became ingrained in their belief systems and characters; their whole development is dedicated to unlearning these flawed teachings and reorienting their perception of the world.

It is very obvious throughout the shows that the Water Tribe had strict gender roles that were both implicitly and explicitly taught from birth. The men go off to fight in the war, the women take care of the children, Sokka has to protect his "defenseless" little sister, etc. Suki helped start him on the journey of unlearning his deeply-rooted misogyny, and by the end of the series he's really drinking the Respect Women Juice™️ (unlearning the flaws of his culture also brought him much closer to his sister and strengthened their bond and respect for one another)

The Fire Nation is a lot more complicated with a lot more cultural nuances and implicit and explicit teachings, but we'll focus on one central cultural theme: the constant prioritization of ambition over absolutely everything else, including (if not especially) love. (I actually talk about this extensively in another analysis post about Azula, if you want to check that out<3) We see Zuko battle with this teaching all throughout the series, and it is the main conflict he faces, at its heart.

We watch him commit his entire life to capturing the Avatar in season one. We watch him betray his uncle in season two. We watch him, time and time again, put his own health and safety on the line trying to capture Aang, especially in season one. Constantly, over and over again, he puts his ambition first because that was what he was taught.

And though this is a trait him and Azula share, it is also what pits them against each other. Azula's entire character is built on putting ambition first, and that leads her to chasing the throne that is Zuko's birthright. Zuko just wants to go home, but that would reestablish him as the heir to the throne. Time and time again, we watch them fight and betray each other, constantly battling for this crown for a broken nation. In the end, it is Azula's undoing, but that's another post.

All in all, unlearning the flaws of their culture is central to their development as characters and a place where they parallel... but it is also a place where they directly (and perfectly) contrast.

Despite the cruelty of the Fire Nation, they are the only military that includes women. They seem to not really struggle with the same gender roles the rest of the world does. They may be colonizers, but they're not misogynists. Zuko never looked down on his sister because she was a woman, nor did her father. It was always her propensity for cruelty that undid her. (They even send a team of highly skilled women to capture the Avatar!!)

This is a direct contrast to the teachings of the Water Tribe, which are entrenched in misogyny and gender roles. The men go off to war, the women stay behind. The men are strong, the women are weak. Can you imagine how much Zuko could have assisted Sokka in his development here? (blah blah directly paralleling Suki's role in Sokka's life blah blah blah)

In the Water Tribe, love and family comes before everything. We see that time and time again. Sokka's main priority, every time, is his sister and his tribe. They stick together. They love one another. They are united, with one person leading them as a group but not standing over them like a tyrant. "Ambition" seems like a mostly unheard of concept in their nation. The only ambition we ever really see from Sokka is when he's trying to protect his tribe (season one finale)!!

Can you imagine how much Sokka could have helped Zuko unlearn his constant prioritization of ambition?? Like, come on. All the things Zuko was left to stew with and angst over all on his own Sokka could have gently taken into his own hands and shown him the way. Like, it actually makes me go feral just thinking about it. Sokka could have helped Zuko so much!! (pushing the Ba Sing Se Zukka AU rn)

Consensus

Okay, let's recap. It looks like Zuko and Sokka are both direct parallels and contrasts, paralleling in the ways that allow them to understand each other but contrasting in the ways that help them heal one another. Like, it's actually insane. I really don't know if it was intentional or not but it's really just so perfect. They slot together perfectly as characters. I hope this all made sense😭😭

Could "Zukka" work in canon?

Now, this is tricky. Believe it or not I'm actually really glad they didn't make Zukka canon. ATLA had a huge problem with writing good romance, and in the canon we saw in the show, neither Sokka or Zuko were in a place to get together.

I've enjoyed my fair share of Zukka AUs where they get together before the end of the war, but you and I both know that would have been a hot mess. (Both of them just weren't ready, they were both in relationships, and sorry but they were kinda busy—Katara was right about the whole "there are other things to worry about.") If they were ever to get together in canon, it would have to be years after the war ended.

Let's address a few things that needed to happen before they could ever have gotten together:

Finally admitting that Maiko was just an extreme example of comphet

Zuko did not give a single shit about that girl. Like. He didn't even personally go get her out of prison WHEN SHE WAS LITERALLY ARRESTED FOR PROTECTING HIM😭😭 And then they try to play off their story as some big epic romance?? uhhhh no

(really, Mai was in long-time unrequited love with Ty Lee that was finally requited after Boiling Rock but idk if society is ready for that yet)

Not to mention, Azula literally forced both of them into that relationship, but if I get started with that I'll never stop so. Moving on.

Figuring out Sokka and Suki

Okay, so while there is a good chance that Sokka and Suki could have made it work in canon, there is also a good chance they would have broken up. They both had very different priorities: while they both did care about overall world peace, it was obvious from Suki's first introduction that her Kyoshi Warriors were her top priority every time, and Sokka's was his tribe, his found family (Aang, Katara, Toph, Zuko, yk yk), and world peace at large. You're telling me those don't conflict? Especially because they really seem like a Piper/Jason situation, where they found comfort and love in each other during wartime but wouldn't have known how to keep up the relationship without the constant threat of death.

Overall, in order for Zukka to work, Sokka and Suki would have had to break up, which would not have been difficult to arrange.

Sokka needed to go home and begin rebuilding the Water Tribe

No matter how much I adore fics where Sokka stays behind in the Fire Nation and helps Zuko rebuild, it just wouldn't work. Sokka's obvious priority had always been his tribe. The second the war was over (ignoring the comics bc that's a can of complicated worms i don't want to get into), he would've gone back with Katara to work on rebuilding their destroyed tribe. Only once the Southern Tribe could stand steadily on its own two legs could he have even considered leaving.

Anyways, that's really it. In order for Zukka to work, three plot points would have to be resolved: Maiko, Sukka, and the reparation of the Southern Water Tribe. Extremely doable, imo.

Personality-wise and just as characters, would it have worked?

I really think it would have! Like I said before, Sokka and Zuko are two characters that perfectly parallel and contrast at all the exactly right points to make them slot together flawlessly as a pair. (Whether that's romantic or not—doesn't matter.) Really, I genuinely think they are a real missed opportunity. I have genuinely never seen two characters that seem so different that actually work that well together, or even just characters that work that well together at all.

Like, I really mean it, they are perfect matches. It's genuinely scary. Like it or not, no one will ever be able to replicate the perfection of what Zukka could have been.

Anyone that says that it's "random" or "doesn't work" obviously hasn't been watching the same show or simply just hasn't been paying attention. People might ship it just because it's opposites attract or red and blue or even just the most accessible MLM ship in the fandom, but they really are perfect for each other.

alright, I think that's it! sorry for this monster of a post😭😭 genuinely did NOT expect that to happen. PLS SEND ME ANY ASKS YOU CAN THINK OF ABOUT THESE TWO!! i have spent a concerning amount of time thinking about them and these show has analysis potential for days, so. (and who knows, maybe i'll finally post the like three unfinished fics i have for them💀💀 god knows i should)

thanks for the ask, and have a great day <3

#atla #avatar #avatar the last airbender #zukka #atla meta #atla ana #atla analysis #zukka nation #atla zukka #sokka x zuko #zuko #sokka #atla sokka #atla zuko

[narutocharacterpolls]

SEMIFINALS

GAARA vs SENJU TSUNADE

Reasons for submission under the cut

Gaara

he overcame his incredible loneliness and childhood trauma with a lot of grace

he acknowledged the people he may have hurt (rock Lee) and did everything in his power to build up from there

he was always very caring (like when he brought the girl he accidentally hurt an apology gift when he was a child)

he was someone who understood Sasuke and shed tears for him

he motivated an entire army of shinobi that were fighting amongst each other, and he did it purely with love for Naruto, showing how powerful his kindness is

serial killer turned babushka. Quite possibly the sweetest and funniest character transformation [submitter]'s ever seen

he enjoys succulent and cactus gardening, based as always

his gardening outfit is the cutest shit ever seen

he has cat eyes which are very cute

nothing but respect for my goth teenaged president 🫡

he's so polite,,

his character development is amazing, he went from being a crazy murderer, to gaining the trust of his whole village and becoming the Kazekage

despite how drastic his character development was, it still feels understandable due to how badly he was treated as a child, and how deep down he always wanted to love but was simply punished for it

eeeing him recover from his trauma thanks to Naruto is really heartwarming

one of the best redeemed villain characters ever imo

very cool character design

storyline that made [submitter] cry like a baby three different times

he's so full of love

has a cool transformation

enjoyable demeanor once he got the help he needs

nice to see a quiet but social introvert succeed in life, overcome his trauma, and learn his self worth

he was an edgy 12 year old who talked like shadow from shadow the hedgehog (2005) how can u not like that

he's funny

he's pretty cool when he's older, a good leader

his arc is [submitters] favorite in the series

lovely to see how far he came and how hard he worked to overcome his demons

Tsunade

milf….

was the best hokage

the regulation she created to include medics on every team saved so many lives

she's funny and a complex and interesting character

is a bad bitch

probably THE most competently written female character in the entire series

she has a very rich history that plays into her character's actions and motivations

wanting to be the best medic-nin possible in order to save more lives because she lost her love Dan, and also change the way ninja squads operated to always have a medic to save more lives did so much for the better during the war to reduce casualties

after being broken down by so many people she cares about dying, she dips and leaves behind ninja society, which has taken everything from her (including wiping out her clan)

because Tsunade is also one of the most legendary/strongest ninja alive, no one could really stop her or chain her down. It takes the conviction of a child who wants her to save the village and heal his friends to get her back to Konoha, despite the all the trauma she's endured

she's a medic with a fear of blood that overcomes that to fight her own teammate and beat his ass so Orochimaru stops killing and maiming people

she steps up to be a leader because it's what the new generation need and someone has to fix all the stuff broken by her selfish teammates and old teacher

the strongest female character both in physical strength and the strength of her writing. It's like she was written first as a character versus most of the other female characters being written first as Girl and Love Interest

Tsunade is vain and a chronic gambler and drunk, she is really brash and abrasive, she is traumatized. But she's also deeply caring, an incredibly accomplished woman, one of the smartest people/medics in the world, and a great leader

she's multi-layered. She is a woman, but her entire character isn't just Woman

finally finished the job on Jiraiya on previous poll

strong arms

she is strong and smart and quick as a whip but still soft and caring when it comes to her loved ones. Characters with rough exteriors who are mushy inside are very good

#kage vs kage #bestnrtcharapoll #naruto #polls #gaara #sabaku no gaara #senju tsunade #tsunade senju #id in alt text

[twistedwonderlandimaginesblog]

Ive just recently discovered your blog and i love it so much omg 😍 I also saw ur post in u said we should send in parent sc rqs 👁👁 so can i pls req scs for the dorm leaders when they accidentally hurt the child? and how they would react? its up to u on how you want the dorl leads to find the child tho! ✨💖

Idia Shroud: 

Idia felt dread, so heavy that it’s like the entire world was just dropped on his shoulders. Is it happening again? A repeat of the Ortho incident as some sort of cosmic karma? He’s already a constant homebody but he’s even more likely to lock himself away, like a princess in those fairy tales who’s always guarded by a vicious dragon. He doesn’t know how to articulate his pain or grief at hurting someone he loved dearly but you can be assured that he won’t take a chance like that again.

Kalim Al-Asim: 

Kalim is completely heartbroken as he had started off only wanting to show his child a cool trick he could do with his magic. He regretted it immediately, admitting to fault and learning another valuable life lesson: money really couldn’t make everything okay. He attended to them himself during their recovery, wanting them to feel how truly sorry he was. Not that he was a strict parent before, but he showered them in gifts, afraid of them potentially harboring hatred in their heart for him (something he could definitely never recover from).

Leona Kingscholar: 

Leona is agitated with himself for accidentally hurting his own child but he doesn’t offer words of apology, instead handing them off to you and closing himself off the rest of the day. You think it’s selfish of him to do so but you know that he’s always had a hard time dealing with his feelings, especially when it came to admitting he was in the wrong, so you did your best to let your child know it wasn’t their fault (while taking care of any leftover wounds incident). When Leona finally interacts with them again you’re proud to hear a very quiet apology slip out of his mouth, a hand placed on your child’s head as he stated they would both have to be more careful from that point on. 

Malleus Draconia: 

Accidents happen, and Malleus himself had been put into many dangerous situation when he was a baby. It was just a thing that fae children happened to be attracted to and he wasn’t the least bit surprised when the same happened to your child. He’s not happy that it was at his hands but he knew he had been holding back anyway, the damage could be far worse than what it was. He’s more afraid of dealing with you in the aftermath as he was sure he’d hear an earful but you just seemed relieved that your child wasn’t seriously injured, holding them close while they told you about all the cool things Malleus could do with magic. 

Riddle Rosehearts: 

Riddle gets the haunting feeling that he’s just like his mother. Her abuse was more verbal than physical but he couldn’t help but hear ‘the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree’ out of the mouths of everyone who learned of the accident. He felt sick to his stomach despite his constant apologies and overbearing doting over his injured child. He handled them like a fragile antique, no magic allowed in the house unless they were a safe distance away. He still had a specific set of rules in place to prevent something like that

#Idia Shroud #Kalim Al-Asim #Leona Kingscholar #Malleus Draconia #Riddle Rosehearts #Twisted Wonderland #TWST #TWST Imagines #Twisted Wonderland Imagines #TWST x Reader #Twisted Wonderland x Reader #Idia Shroud x Reader #Kalim Al Asim x Reader #Leona Kingscholar x Reader #Malleus Draconia x Reader #Riddle Rosehearts x Reader

[whyse7vn]

4TH GEN LEADERS -

[ ot7 x reader ]

taehateclub

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

tae: y/n i’m coming for a sleepover tn

y/n: are you sad or something?

tae: no?

y/n: ok good

no thanks then ❤️

tae: um wtf

y/n: ???

tae: the disrespect i face on a daily is not right and should be studied

jimin: don’t care

yoongi: didn’t ask

jin: L

namjoon: 10 years…

of this

jk: time flies when ur having fun

hobi: i want to blow my brains out tbh

jk: oh

tae: jungkook do you want to see a magic trick?

jk: YES

jin: do pretzels make you fat?

jimin: have you been eating them?

jin: yeah

jimin: yeah they make you fat as fuck

jin: somebody push him off a cliff before i do

jk: show me the magic trick before i kill myself

y/n: this really is my safe space ❤️

namjoon: guys we should all go to therapy

tae: i won’t

i tried therapy and the lady laughed at me

A THERAPIST LAUGHED AT ME LIKE TO ME FACE IS THAT NOT SICK?

yoongi: real

y/n: icon tbh

jimin: my therapist tried to fuck me 😞

jin: why is he lying like omg get a life…

jimin: 30 years of age and still bothering young men like me LEAVE ME ALONE FREAK

yoongi: here they go

namjoon: one day we will all laugh and hold hands

y/n: i got 50 on jin

hobi: 50 on jimin

jin: namjoon pls don’t let him come in here and lie like that it’s actually heartbreaking watching the people closest to me be so fucking delusional and deranged think about the bystanders joon

think.

jimin: END UR LIFE

jin: you first 🤭

jimin: ignoring you

y/n: i win

hobi: aw man

namjoon: are you guys all coming to the party later?

jk: what happened to the magic trick??

yoongi: 👍🏻

hobi: yes yesss

y/n: YES

tae: yup

jin: yes

jimin: NO

jin: don’t care 🥱

jimin: i’m leaving this group and leaving this country

yoongi: k?

hobi: when something is a foot long whose foot are we measuring it off?

y/n: if it’s by yoongi’s then a foot long as hell

jk: tae can you show me now?

namjoon: kook pls let it go…

jimin: i’m jumping of a bridge

hobi: how many of yoongi’s feet tall is the bridge?

jin: one foot could honestly kill him

tae: feet?

namjoon: MOVING ON MOVING ON

jk: there is no magic trick is there

y/n: it’s okay you’ll get over it my love

jk: i don’t think i will

tae: that was a life lesson

learn from it and become stronger

jk: how about you die.

hobi: WOAH

namjoon: no fighting i’m literally begging you guys

jin: didn’t know you were submissive like that

jimin: fr it’s gross as hell

he’s gonna tell us he kisses men next

jk: are you a homophone?????

jimin: are you fr rn

yoongi: wow

namjoon: don’t say anything

y/n: at least his heart was in the right place!

tae: namjoon likes men?

namjoon: no

jimin: yeah

hobi: like a stickerrrrr

jk: congratulations

tae: let’s make a song with drake

y/n: ew

yoongi: no thanks

hobi: pushing p

jimin: pussy

jk: where

y/n: ew again

jk: bts 4th gen leaders!

namjoon: ?

hobi: we are not 4th gen

jk: what?

jimin: we are 3rd gen

jk: oh my god

we are old as hell

y/n: that is actually so gross

3rd gen IS SO GROSS WE ARE OLD AS HELL OH MY GOD IMMA THROW UP

jin: ur both being dramatic

jimin: he’s only saying that because he’s been old since birth

like how you 84 out the womb???

hobi: jimin ur going to hell

jimin: we were all thinking it

jin: everyone deny that rn

…

hello?

y/n: bts 4th gen leaders i agree with jk!!!

yoongi: this does not change the reality

tae: can i be 4th gen it boy

jimin: LMAO

tae: what’s funny?

jimin: nothing

jk: i would like to be best 4th gen rapper

hobi: i’ll be best 4th gen singer

y/n: fair

ig i’ll be the 4th gen it girl

jimin: i’ll be THEE 4th gen visual

y/n: yoongi for 4th gen it boy

yoongi: :3

tae: i wanted to be 4th gen it boy wtf

jk: joon the father of 4th gen

y/n: and jin the 4th gen ace

namjoon: u guys actually delusional

tae: i agree

namjoon: pls don’t agree with me ur making me uncomfortable

tae: sorry father

namjoon: don’t be mad u didn’t get a title

y/n: tea the girls are fighting

tae: i’m not mad

i don’t even care fr

namjoon: sure

tae: sUrE

namjoon: you seem mad

tae: if you died i wouldn’t care

hobi: 4th gen loser

tae: hoseok wtf

hobi: who said that?

y/n: 4th gen furry

tae: ummm?

jimin: 4th gen broke boy

tae: i asked for money ONCE

yoongi: 4th gen bitch

tae: LEAVE ME ALONE

jk: i’m glad we all have titles now

4th gen is not ready for us

y/n: FR!!!!

—

kinda short pls forgive me

#bts crack #bts fanfic #bts fic #bts fluff #bts text #bts x reader #bts imagines #bts x y/n #bts x you #namjoon x reader #jin x reader #suga x reader #jhope x reader #jimin x reader #v x reader #jungkook x reader #hobi x reader #taehyung x reader #bts fake chats #bts incorrect texts #ot7 x reader

[eywamygoddesswrites]

— 𝓫𝓸𝔂 𝔀𝓸𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓻 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓿𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓼 — (neteyam x fem!reader)

requested: yes

synopsis: golden boy neteyam has a lot of suitors but best friend y/n didn't like any of them and would tease the hell of out neteyam just to see him embarrassed

pairing: neteyam x fem!omatikaya!reader

tags: sarcasm, fluff, implied jealousy, long time pinning

warnings: lowercase intended, swearing

word count: 1.9k

a/n: characters are aged up! this is the very first request by @tejas-kris ! thank you very much for the idea! hope this is to your liking ^u^

+ gif not mine. ctto.

neteyam, as everyone knows, is the next olo’eyktan and the golden child of the sully’s. he’s kind, thoughtful, humble, and everything a leader is. handcrafted by eywa to perfection. all na’vi his age longed to be picked by him when he was to choose a mate.

y/n, the rebellious best friend of neteyam, is also a part of the growing admirers of neteyam but he doesn’t need to know that. she has been a part of his life ever since they could breathe. you’d think that because of being his age and being in his life that they’re best of friends, but you’re wrong!

growing up, y/n would hang with the sully's and have her height measured beside them. at one point, both she and neteyam had the same height until y/n continued to grow taller than the oldest sully kid.

he became the end of her height jokes until he just didn’t care anymore. yeah, it was their thing with the jokes but if someone else says them, y/n would definitely pull those na’vi’s tails and perhaps destroy their dignity if she feels generous.

with age comes maturing of many things, mainly the features of one's face. neteyam grew up into a very handsome na’vi. imagine being the son of toruk makto, son of the daughter of the previous olo’eyktan, first born son, and the next olo’eyktan in the making?? not only that, someone who is strong, smart, sharp, humble, did i mention handsome, and kind?

oh eywa, to be standing beside neteyam and being called his… that’s the dream, right? wrong. not when he’s constantly beside y/n. that bothersome yet loyal companion of his.

neteyam had many suitors come his way. there was inaw, a beautiful na’vi who weaves beautiful baskets and many others. when she was trying to give neteyam a bracelet after she confessed, y/n was there to torment the poor na’vi and by poor na’vi, it’s neteyam. why does he get the end of the torment?

“ooh~ lookie here! neteyam finally got another suitor! and look at this beautiful bracelet,” y/n held neteyam’s wrist up as she examined the gift that inaw had just given neteyam didn’t ask for the bracelet to be put on. inaw just put it on him–

“you weave the most beautiful materials, inaw.” y/n grins, showing her fangs to the na;vi that was slowly backing away out of awkwardness and embarrassment. “and i must admit, it suits his features. made his hands pop out its color and veins.” her voice just laced with sarcasm and her eyes rolled adding to the mockery.

neteyam soon removes the bracelet and gave it back to inaw, face flushed with embarrassment. “i really, really appreciate the gesture. but i’m not looking for a mate now.” neteyam says in a hurry before running off.

y/n turns to the poor na’vi while chuckling. “oh eywa, when will you skxawngs learn?” she once again rolled her eyes before following neteyam, embarrassing him more.

another was a na’vi named nitsek who had a very beautiful singing voice. she would always pull neteyam to sit in the front whenever she and a few other na’vi’s sang during their events.

what nitsek didn’t like was when y/n followed beside neteyam. she hated neteyam’s best friend because it hinders her from pursuing the next olo’eyktan. nitsek would bat her eyelashes and ask neteyam to tell y/n to move to another place so she can do her best in performing.

y/n always hears this and snorts in amusement. what a bold move, she admits, but a very wrong move at it.

“nEteYAm oH My eYwA yOu mUsT tAkE tHis hidEoUs fRienD oF yOurs AwAy fRom thE fRont,” y/n says while mocking nitsek’s voice. “yeah neteyam, you should shoo me away because i might distract your little girly over there,” she says while pointing and wiggling her index finger towards the na’vi girl.

“of course, our cutie over here would protect his ‘future mate’, right? i mean, i know you to be such a protective na’vi but hey, i’m not THAT dangerous now, am i?” y/n raises her brow at neteyam before turning to nitsek, who looked like she was ready to just pounce at the na’vi mocking her.

neteyam’s face was as purple as a yovo fruit. he walks away, not bothering to say goodbye to nitsek. the na’vi tried to call neteyam back but he didn’t return.

y/n blows a bitter kiss towards nitsek and waves goodbye. nitsek was left punching the air and hissing at the leaving na’vi’s way.

out of all the na’vi’s that tried to pursue neteyam, her favorite was roka, an acquaintance of kiri as roka was training to be a tsahik when the day comes. to be fair, she was very good at what she was practicing. one of mo’at’s best students but not one of her favorites.

roka would always ask kiri to be the one to help tend neteyam’s cuts after every raid, not that he needed that much help since he doesn’t get that hurt often. kiri, being the nice friend she is, she would let roka patch neteyam up.

despite meeting up a lot, neteyam and roka were awkward with each other. roka didn’t know how to start conversations with her admiration while neteyam just wants to be finished and leave the tent as soon as he can.

y/n came in with the last group of the raid and asked the other sully kids where was their oldest brother. “he’s in roka’s tent! she’s just patching his cuts up.” tuk says happily while she encircles y/n checking if the older na’vi had any cuts. seeing that there were cuts, she leads y/n to kiri’s tent so she can get patched up.

“sissy! y/n needs to get some bandages.” tuk got some of the medicines that her sister usually uses and some patches to cover the cuts afterward.

upon learning where neteyam was, a sly thought passed her mind. while kiri was patching her up, she motioned tuk to come closer.

“hi’i tuk, can i ask you a favor?” y/n says with a smile, one that kiri was familiar with while tuk was not so. “what is it tsmuke?” tuk asks, her voice just so sweet. no one will know that she has any malicious intentions.

“could you tell your big brother that your tsmuke is hurt badly and needs his support?” y/n pouts a bit to seal the deal. tuk nods immediately before running out the tent. kiri looks up from patching her friend up, an eyebrow raised and a smirk breaking out her mouth.

“you’re such an ass, y/n!” she says while nudging her friend. “whaaaat??? am i wrong?! your friend here is badly hurt and you laugh at her?” y/n raised her hand and dramatically sighs. “what if this was my last day? i would not see my dear neteyam’s face. his oh-so-handsome face that all omatikaya fawns over.” she clasped her hands together and swings her legs.

“eywa, i could never take you seriously with all the shit you say.” kiri snorts before finishing patching y/n up. “but i’m ‘serious’ here. i’m juuuust like everyone else.” y/n air quotes the word ‘serious’ before leaning back against her arms.

“you know, that’s not how you get my older brother’s attention. he already has it on you and you don’t have to try.” kiri says as she placed all the medicine and patches she used back in their places. “he looks at you as if you put the stars up in the sky.”

y/n choked on her saliva before laughing. “noooo no he doesn’t. that perfect ass skxawng does not, and i quote, ‘looks at me as if i put the stars up in the sky’. i get that i can be an asshole to other na’vi’s sometimes,” kiri glares playfully, “sometimes??” “that’s not the point, kiri!” y/n throws her arms up in frustration.

“the point is he doesn’t like me that way, point blank period. i mean, yeah we fight sometimes but i think that’s because we get competitive, and maybe our feelings get the better of us, but he’s such great na’vi. even when i get mad after he won our sparring, he would apologize even when he doesn’t have to.” y/n rests her chin on her palm while looking at kiri.

“when that brother of yours finds the right mate to spend his life with, i wouldn’t find anyone like him who would put up with me. i mean, with this personality, who would? even if i say ‘i love him’, would he say he loves me back?” she mumbles the last sentence while playing with her anklet. one that she made with neteyam and matched with.

when kiri didn’t reply, y/n looked up to see what was happening. kiri had stopped her actions and was looking behind y/n.

y/n turns around to see neteyam with tuk not far behind. realization hit her hard like bricks. he positively, absolutely heard everything she had said. fuck.

“i’ll leave you two to chat, alright?” kiri says while pushing tuk away from the tent, her little voice growing further as she asked her sister why.

neteyam moved close to y/n, a small space between them enough space to leave for eywa. y/n’s ears flatten as her tail swayed furiously. she stood up to leave but neteyam pulled her back, both standing in the middle of the tent.

“you heard nothing from me, okay?! absolutely nothing.” y/n glares right at neteyam’s eyes only to look away almost immediately.

neteyam, who’s face was just purple after hearing that his heart’s love had just confessed her feelings so straightforwardly, how was he supposed to react? his tail sways in a small but fast motion, ears twitching in happiness as he smiled.

“so you do feel the same way i do.” neteyam says as a matter of fact. y/n rolled her eyes before punching his shoulder softly. “no i don’t.” his grin widen before pulling her into a hug. this caught y/n off-guard before she tried to get him off of her. she ultimately gave up and hugged him back. he can hear her heart beat fast as he rest his head against her chest.

“i see you.” neteyem softly says while playing with a braid of y/n’s. y/n’s eyes widen as her heart raced. oh eywa, it’s happening… it’s hAPPENING–

“it’s alright if you don’t say it now. i will wait for you for as long as it takes.” neteyam adds before letting go of her, only to be pulled back into the hug, this time, her chin resting on top of his head.

“i see you, neteyam. for such a long time, it’s just you in my head,” she says, her voice was small, quiet almost but he heard her well.

he was glad. neteyam had loved this tall na’vi since forever and to be in her arms at this moment just feels so… right. y/n thought the same. she can finally keep him in her grasp, never to be let go. and besides, she needs an armrest and neteyam is there to provide it for her.

“am i also in your heart?”

“oh shut up, skxawng!!”

na'vi dictionary (seen in order):

hi'i - small

tsmuke - sister

#avatar x reader #avatar x fem!reader #avatar x you #avatar x y/n #avatar #avatar 2 #avatar the way of water #atwow #neteyam x reader #neteyam x fem!reader #neteyam x na’vi!reader #neteyam x omatikaya!reader #neteyam x you #neteyam x y/n #neteyam sully x reader #neteyam sully x fem!reader #neteyam sully x na’vi!reader #neteyam sully x omatikaya!reader #neteyam sully x you #neteyam sully x y/n #avatar neteyam #avatar neteyam sully #avatar 2 neteyam #avatar 2 neteyam sully #atwow neteyam #atwow neteyam sully #x reader #x fem!reader #Spotify #↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ penpal ˊ-

[thebubblesareevil]

Ghost kings make bad Baristas..Coffee shop au

Should I be working on Superman adopting Danny yes am I doing that no I hit a road bump so u get this for now

Kaldur is Stressed as leader of the YJ and Dick tells him he needs a break and recommends this really great coffee shop he found in the harbor. Dick takes over training the kiddos for the day and Kaldur spends the day wandering around happy harbor trying to destress but the man is addicted to stress and we all know it.

Danny is a local college student studying astronomy and got a job at the local coffee shop. When Kaldur comes in he is greeted by a barista and he stands to the side while he browses the menu

Danny on the other hand cannot stop staring at the customer that just walked in to the point where he ended up being sprayed by steamed milk. It’s not his fault though the guy is doing it on purpose he swears. Standing near the window starring at the menu board with his chin tilted up and the light hitting him juuuussst right. It s just not fair, the dude it so far out of his league that Danny can’t help it.

Kaldur decides on a spiced tea and approaches the counter to be greeted by a rather flustered barista. He smiles and gives his order, when the barista asks for a name for the order and Kaldur decided to have a little fun and gave him his full name Kaldur’ahm to see what he would end up writing on the cup.

Danny is dead, fully dead, he has been killed, his gorgeous customer has finished what was started 6 years ago. His voice is just…mmmmmmm. Danny is trying really hard not to let his internal scream turn external that he isn’t paying full attention when he writes the name, Kaldur’ahm it suits him, on the cup. He makes the spiced tea calls his name and tries his best not to make a perfect imitation of a tomato.

Kaldur thanks the barista and turns but as he goes to drink his tea he catches sight of the name written on the cup. It was in fact his name, with not a letter out of place, written in perfect Atlantean. Kaldur freezes and checks the collar on his sweater, making sure his gils are not showing before he scopes out the cafe to make sure he’s not being watched. He turns back around to the counter to confront the barista.

Danny is FREAKING OUT he’s turning around, he only had one sip how bad could he have possibly messed up that tea oh god just end it. Kaldur’ahm calmly shows him the writing on the cup and asks him what it said. Danny looked at the cup and went pale. Apparently his autopilot recognized his name as being Atlantean and ghost speak took over. Oh my god that Atlantean he’s Atlantean wtf wtfnwtf!!! Danny tries to calmly respond that it’s his name and he hopes he spelled it right.

Kaldur is immediately suspicious, he looks at the name tag, this Danny can barely look him in the eye and he says no it’s spelled perfectly, but where did he learn Atlantean? Danny panics and says internet. Kaldur doesn’t believe him but nods and leaves. He informs nightwing of the incident and they both head back to the coffee shop together the next day to scope out the barista.

Danny looks very excited when Kaldur walks in and when he ordertheir drinks he and Kaldur end up talking for a bit as he made the drink, once again in Atlantean, to which Kaldur comments about how fluent he is. Nightwing is dying in the corner waiting for his friend when Kaldur comes back and they leave he can’t stop laughing because this “Danny” wasn’t plotting, he thought you were hot, he was nervous.

Kaldur is surprised but still brings up the fact that he spoke FLUENT Atlantean. Nightwing suggests he ask the barista out and see if he can figure it out and to keep him updated. The next time Kaldur went to the cafe Danny wasn’t there so Kaldur got his tea and left, oddly enough his tea tasted quite different from what Danny made him.

It was as he was leaving that Kaldur ran into Danny again, literally. Danny was walking out of the office and they crashed into each other, Danny immediately started to apologize. They started to talk and Kaldur asked if he was about to clock in. Danny laughed sadly and said no I actually just got fired, apparently I’m REALLY bad at making coffee, hopefully my tea making skills weren’t too bad though? Kaldur gave a slight chuckle and said not bad no.

Kaldur asks if he’s not busy would he like to get some lunch. Danny blushed and said yes they talk all afternoon (in Atlantean) and Kaldur ends up asking him on another date then another and another, you see where this is going… or do you? At one point Danny address someone who says something homophobic in another language and Kaldur starts to wonder how many languages Danny knows. The whole team gets in on it. They are absolutely certain they got him when M’gann starts speaking Martian and they are all blown away when he starts speaking fluent Martian. They are determined to figure it out. Danny eventually tells Kaldur about ghost speak. Neither tell the team. Tim has been looking for the most obscure language he can find and Danny wants to see what he comes up with.

#danny phantom #ghost king danny #dc x dp #cold current #danny/kaldur #brain vomit #kaldur'ahm #coffee shop #kinda? #it went way out of control #it just spiraled #au #so enjoy

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

ok i have GOT to make a halloween request. i don’t really care which characters (tho scarvio main cast + jacq or turo is preferred at the time of writing this) but how about them reacting to the reader having halloween as their birthday? bc ofc it’s MY birthday so i feel obligated to request this lol and ofc u don’t have to do this but i thought it’d be fun to make some kind of halloween themed request ESP after seeing the security breach one. anyways have a nice day!!! :DDD -galaxy

Happy birthday!!! I haven't written for Pokémon in a hot minute

(Sorry,,I couldn't think of anything for Turo or Jacq so I hope the main trio is okay!)

........

Arven

"Wow, little buddy..so does this mean we can only celebrate one or the other?"

He's joking, of course, but he finds it cool that your birthday also falls on Halloween.

Growing up, he never really celebrated either occasion himself....although that doesn't mean he can't celebrate them with you!

He gifts you your favorite sandwich (of course, it's what he does best) and sets up a picnic where you two hang out for most of the day.

By nightfall, you learn of a mass outbreak of ghost types and drag him around, trying to catch them all before dawn.

Although Mabosstiff has the clear type advantage should any of them wanna fight, Arven still gets spooked easily.

Especially as a mischievous Trevenant disguising itself as a normal tree scared the hell out of him.

Turns out you asked it to beforehand (with you promising to catch it should it succeed), and he's not amused in the slightest.

He doesn't stay mad forever, though. It IS your birthday, after all.

Nemona

Girl goes above and beyond tbh.

And by that, I mean she organizes a whole Halloween/birthday party for you in one of the classrooms (with the director's permission, ofc).

She got cute little outfits for her main Pokémon team and had them all surprise you when you walked through the door.

Honestly?

You expected nothing less from her.

So the rest of the day is filled with fun spooky activities that she (unwillingly) drags Arven and Penny into.

Her gift to you is a Dipplin!

Since it's like a candy apple and a super cool dragon type, she thought it was perfect (her connections in Kitakami came in handy this year).

She would def make sure to celebrate your birthday like this every year even after you all graduate.

Penny

She already knew long before you told her (girl does her research).

But she doesn't plan on making a huge deal out of it. Big celebrations were never really her thing, and you knew that too.

The most she'll do is send you a present and a card tied to her Umbreon (who shows up at your dorm in a cute little ghost outfit).

Team Star catches wind of your birthday being today and decides to throw together a little surprise-Halloween party, eventually convincing their leader to help them plan it out and get permission to use one of the old classrooms.

You love it, but poor Penny jumps like 10 feet into the air when everybody suddenly pops out wearing masks.

"Is this surprise party for you or for me?" You jokingly ask, although she just gives you an awkward smile before you all proceed with the festivities.

#clanask #galaxy anon #pokemon x reader #pokemon scarlet x reader #pokemon violet x reader #pokemon arven #pokemon nemona #pokemon penny #arven x reader #nemona x reader #penny x reader #halloween #platonic #headcanons

[killmongerskeeper]

Crashing Waves // Chapter 3 // Namor

Pairing: Namor x POC Reader

Warning: Spoilers, Mentions of Violence

Chapter 2 // Chapter 4

When your eyes fluttered open the first thing you saw was the crystallization of what seems to be a cave. You slowly sat up to see a blue woman sitting at the edge of your bed. 

"Where-"

“You're awake.” A soft voice called out to you as the wet cloth was taken from your forehead.

"Where am I?" You mumbled as she placed a cold hand on your forehead.

"You will be okay. Just rest while I go retrieve K'uk'ulkan." She said in a soft voice before getting up to walk away. In her absence you shifted some of your powers to your neck and head to get rid of the throbbing headache. You phased the green hue away as you could hear footsteps approaching. The man from earlier appears in the walkway, dressed in a more casual outfit littered with vibranium and gold.  He stared down at you before kneeling down to your eye level. 

"How are you feeling, surface dweller?" He asked you and you gave a small shrug.

"Where am I?" You asked a second time since you didn’t receive an answer from the first woman. You looked around the cave and only saw one entrance, and it's underwater. Fuck.

"Our home. We brought you here because you seem to be more important to that operation than just being there to verify the findings." He said to you as you swallowed the lump in your throat. 

"I'm just a college professor. Nothing more. I studied lots of folklore and know more about mythology than any of them did.” You responded with a shrug.

"So tell me, if you were just trying to protect the vibranium, why did they have you tag along?" Your voice was caught in your throat as another one of his people entered the space. He was huge and scared you a little bit. You didn’t know what would happen if you didn't cooperate. You were already underwater, god knows how deep from the surface. Last thing you needed was to go missing down here. You opened your mouth to speak but nothing came out as they all watched you attentively. As if waiting for you to pull some stunt against their leader. Instead you reached your hand out to his forehead causing the blue woman behind him to tense. 

"Jach ti' u utsil k'ana'an ju'uno'ob ma' att"

(It's in your best interest not to attack.)

"I'm sure if she wanted to attack, she would have back on that ship." Namor stated as your hand began to glow from the green energy flowing from it. You softly touched Namor's forehead as you decided to show him why you were there instead of saying it. Brown met brown as the two of you stared into the others eyes. He seems shocked that you were displaying such an ability. You pulled back as your breath hitched before tilting over. He caught you by the arm before sitting you up right before your body could hit the ground. 

"I'm fine. It happens." You said to him as worry crossed his features. The others seemed on edge after your presentation of your powers. 

"So the surface dwellers wanted your help because of your attachment to Wakanda? You are Wakandan?"

"No, I'm not a wakandan. They saved me and gave me a chance. The least I can do is help them protect what's theirs." You stated with a frown.

"How long have you been able to do that?" He questioned, his curiosity getting the better of him. 

"Since I was a little girl. My abilities manifested after the death of my family. Given all the time I had alone I learned how to control it." You told him as he stared, silently urging you to continue. "I've only evolved them since then.”

"You can show people your own memories. What else can you do with your abilities?"

"Je'el u páajtal in kaambal le t'aano' ti' le yaano'ob"

(I can learn the language of others.)

Every pair of eyes were on you now. Full of confusion and amazement. Now you had Namor's full undivided attention. 

"Cha' k"

(Leave us)

With that, the others left the area and it was just you and Namor. He took his spot leaning on the wall as you remained silent. Curious to what he was about to ask next. 

"Amazing. So you are different from the other surface dwellers. Well you definitely have my attention now."

"I've told you about me. Now it's your turn, your highness." You said crossing your arms and he looked down at the floor before crossing his arms. 

"The tale of my people is one I hold dear to me. They once thrived. But slowly they started to succumb to the diseases brought by the conquistadors. Smallpox to be more specific. To survive, they consumed a blue plant found underwater by a shaman as an attempt to help cure their sickness." He started and you looked on as your brain put two and two together. 

"My mother who was pregnant with me at the time didn't want to because she didn't know what it would do to me. They talked her into it. Claiming that I would be the first born to their new world if she went through with it. So she did. After sometime they all fell sick. Their skin turned blue, they suddenly couldn't breathe the air. The water was calling them. Welcoming them to their new home. What they didn't know was that the plant had traces of vibranium, changing their anatomy and biology in the process of consumption." He told his story as if he's done so a thousand times. You sat patient as he turned to mess with the beads on his bracelet. 

"Soon after my mother gave birth to me. I looked different with my pointed ears and the feathers on my ankles. I became the first born to their new world, destined to become Talokan’s king. As I grew older, my mother began to grow sad as she missed the surface world. She made me promise to bury her in the surface soil when she passed. I kept that promise. We took her to the surface, but what I saw up there made me despise the surface more than ever."

"The violence, the enslavement of those people. It made something snap inside. I killed them. Killed them all. A Spanish man of faith cursed me as he died by my hand. He called me, 'El Niño sin Amor', 'the child without love'. And I took my name from there. Namor. Because I have no love for the surface world. And I want nothing more than to watch it burn." You didn’t say anything to his reasoning. Because at one point in your life, you wanted to burn the world yourself for what happened to your family. Killmonger gave you the chance to do so. While Shuri and T’Challa gave you a chance to be a noble spirit. To go against vengeance. You can see Namor living up to his vengeance and that frightened you. You saw what they could do to people. What could happen to you.  

"And murdering the people on the ship? What good does that do?"

"They tried to take what didn't belong to them. We wanted to protect it just like you did."

Taglist: @missdragon-1 @zooni92802 @22carolina08 @bonnapple @arcaerin @bontensbabygirl @simpingfor-wakasa @secretpostts @gardenof-venus @batfam-sitcom @caldodemazapangourmet @naiomiwinchester @moneteguiza @gnkkstarz @aut0matic-supers0nic @historygeekqueen @violet-19999 @euphoricsirens @emberfulclass @pixiest1ckz @randomtumblerusersblog @tired-hungry-angry @aykxz98 @yepimthatperson @hangesbaee @aeilani @juicyj28

#Black Panther 2 #Namor #namor x you #namor x reader #poc reader #reader insert #black panther imagines #wakanda forever #crashing waves fic

[violet-1atte]

Kinktober Day Twenty-Eight: Body Worship - Chan/Seungmin

Tags: Body image issues, body dysmorphia, insecurities, fluff

AO3 Link

On some days, Chan was okay. He looked in the mirror and his body looked good, his skin didn’t have too many blemishes, his hair wasn’t too bad, and overall, he looked attractive. On other days however, looking in the mirror was like a slap in the face. He never wanted to look again but he just kept looking , even when it hurt to see his own reflection. 

This day was one of those days. Chan’s insecurities were overwhelming. He couldn’t focus on anything but what his fans thought of him, what his bandmates thought of him, what his own mind thought of him. There were so many flaws he could fix. So many areas he could improve upon, not even just in his looks. He was probably too strange, too clingy, to pushy. Had he been too harsh on the members at practice last night? Was he a competent leader? Could he even actually write music? My members and STAY must be so disappointed , he thought to himself. It was a painful thought but he couldn’t keep it out of his mind. 

He knew he was catastrophizing and spiraling downwards but he couldn’t stop. The weight of his image weighed heavy on his shoulders and he couldn’t shake it off. 

After hours of silence, as Changbin and Jisung were at the studio (why wasn’t he there? ) and Hyunjin was out with a group of friends, his phone pinged. He hesitated to pick it up but decided he should look, especially as the leader of Stray Kids. It could be something important. 

His heart did a backflip in his chest when he saw the message and he couldn’t help the little twitch of a smile that formed on his lips. 

Seungmin

02:23 Hey I’m coming over You’re at the dorm alone, right?

Chan 

02:24 Idk Minnie-yah. I’m not really feelin it today

Seungmin

02:26 That wasn’t a question, hyung I’m coming to make sure you don’t burn the place down

Chan snorted softly and sighed. Sometimes he felt like Seungmin learned too much from Minho. 

Chan 

02:27 Alright Thank u

Seungmin

02:30 Ofc I’ll be there in a few 

Chan sighed softly and ran a hand through his hair. He hadn’t showered yet today so he forced himself up off the couch and headed to the bathroom. He avoided looking at himself and just hopped into the shower, turning the heat up as much as his skin could handle. 

When he finished, he felt a little better about himself. His skin felt better, his hair felt better, and he felt more alive, like his body worked. He changed into a clean pair of clothes and went back out to sit on the couch to wait for Seungmin. 

A few minutes later, he heard shuffling outside the door and Seungmin stepped inside. The way his face subtly brightened when he caught sight of Chan put a little ease on his fragile mind. “Hyung,” he said softly, and Chan was suddenly overcome with the urge to just be held . 

He quickly stood up from the couch and walked over to Seungmin, rushing to his arms so fast that he stumbled back a little. He buried his face against Seungmin’s shoulder and let out a shaky breath as his arms came to wrap around his torso. A voice in the back of his mind told him he shouldn’t be acting like this, that he shouldn’t be relying on one of their youngest for support. But he couldn’t be bothered to listen to it when the warmth of Seungmin’s body seeped into his core and he held him so firm but so gentle at the same time. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled against his chest. Seungmin trailed his fingers up his spine. 

“There’s nothing to be sorry for, hyung,” he reassured him. 

Chan swallowed and squeezed Seungmin harder. “I dunno why I get like this. Some days it’s just…” He inhaled deeply to steady his voice, which was already beginning to shake. “Some days it's just hard. I don’t–I can’t. There’s just so much . I can’t match up, I’m not enough .” 

“Shh,” Seungmin soothed. “You are enough, you are. You’re just as good as the rest of us, even better. You’re the best leader. I’m not just saying that jokingly. We wouldn’t be here without you.” 

Chan clenched his fists and nodded, not trusting his voice to speak. His cheeks felt wet and he realized that tears were running down his face. Seungmin hugged him tighter and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. 

“What do you need, hyung? I can make you some food. You haven’t eaten yet today have you? Or I could do something else. Tell me what you want.” 

Chan took a deep breath. “I…I’m hungry but I…” He just wanted to relax, to not have to think. He wasn’t even sure if he could eat right now. “I don’t know if I can…” 

“Can I make you feel better then, first?” Seungmin asked. He pulled back a bit so he could look at Chan’s face and he cupped his cheek. “Let me make you feel pretty, hyung.” 

The way Chan’s breath hitched wasn’t due to his emotions this time. He hadn’t been in the mood earlier, but with Seungmin here, holding him close, seeing the genuine love and admiration on his face…he felt different. “Yeah,” he agreed with a small nod. “You can do that. Please.” 

Sometimes Chan felt like he took up too much space. But when Seungmin wrapped his arm around his waist to lead him to the bedroom, he felt smaller. It also made him feel that for a moment, he didn’t have to be the perfect embodiment of his role as a leader. He was just Chan and Seungmin was just Seungmin. One of his best friends, and someone who knew how to take care of him better than anyone else did. For all of his silence and more withdrawn ways, he knew him and the other members inside and out. 

“Can I undress you, hyung?” Seungmin asked when they had entered the room and closed the door behind them. 

Chan nodded wordlessly and stepped back from Seungmin so he could begin tripping him. He started with his shirt, which he folded neatly and put to the side, and then moved to his pants and boxers. 

“This still okay?” he asked once Chan was fully naked and lying down on the bed. 

Vulnerability was not one of Chan’s strong suits and at this moment he felt very vulnerable. But he also felt that maybe, just maybe, he was wanted a little bit. That Seungmin actually wanted to see him no matter how ugly he had felt today. So he nodded again. “Yes, this is good,” he said softly. 

Seungmin smiled his sweet, warm smile that Chan loved so much. “Good. I’m gonna start touching you now, okay?” 

Sparks flitted through Chan’s stomach as Seungmin crawled onto the bed in front of him. His heart began to race and anxiety began to mix together with the sparks, but Seungmin gave him another reassuring smile and his nerves were quelled. 

“You’re so pretty, hyung,” Seungmin stated softly. “Breathtaking.” His fingers gently wrapped around Chan’s ankle and he lifted his leg so that he could press a kiss to the top of his shin. The soft press of his lips made Chan’s skin tingle and he inhaled softly. Seungmin looked so gentle like this, his lips formed into a small pout and his dark eyelashes fanned across his cheeks. He knew Seungmin wanted to focus on him for now, but he would have to do the same thing for him sometime. 

The next kiss was pressed to his calf and Seungmin gave the relaxed muscle a small nip. “You’re so strong. You work so hard,” he mumbled as he pressed another kiss to his skin. Seungmin was a man of few words most of the time, but as soon as they got to the bedroom, praises spilled from his lips like sweet honey. They warmed Chan’s body more than alcohol. 

He moved to the next leg, kissing all over his calf and even giving a quick kiss to his ankle. Then he let his legs rest on the bed again and went between his thighs. “You have such perfect thighs, hyung,” he said, running his hands over the soft flesh. Chan swallowed and his eyes burned. With each word, his insecurities rose and then fell apart at Seungmin’s hand. 

“Thank you, Seungmin-ah,” he said, voice barely above a whisper. He still didn’t feel like he was worth all the praise, but it made him feel so good. It made him feel at least a little worthy, a little more than the least attractive or interesting member in the group. 

Lips were pressed to his inner thigh then and his breath hitched. “Can I mark you, Channie-hyung?” Seungmin asked. He always asked the same question and Chan always had the same answer. 

“Yes, please,” he responded. The stylists would get on him every time he showed up with hickeys on his body, but he needed something , something to remind him that he was wanted, that he was desired. Something to remind him of these intimate moments with Seungmin, moments where work, the pressures of being a leader, and of being a celebrity all melted away. 

Seungmin hummed against his thigh and began kissing him again. This time his kisses were less gentle and he parted his lips a bit to suck on the soft, sensitive skin. His hands traveled over what he could reach of Chan’s body with feather-light touches that had him shivering. He sucked on Chan’s inner thigh and Chan let out a soft moan in response. He could feel his previously soft cock beginning to fill up with every one of Seungmin’s kisses, and the pleasure was slowly overriding any anxious thoughts or insecurities. 

“Don’t be afraid to make noises, hyung,” Seungmin instructed. He turned his head to give attention to his other thigh and Chan moaned again, this time a little louder. “ Good …you have such a beautiful voice.” 

Pink flooded Chan’s cheeks and his heart skipped a beat. Making noises during sex always felt so embarrassing to him but Seungmin liked to hear it. He liked to know he was making Chan feel good. 

Eventually, Seungmin moved on from his thighs. He shifted up a bit and his breath ghosted over Chan’s cock. A small smirk formed on his face when it twitched. Chan nearly gasped when he leaned down to press a kiss to the tip, clearly unable to resist even having his mouth on Chan there. “Even your cock is pretty. I’ve never met anyone who looks so beautiful literally everywhere . You look like you were carved out of marble,” he praised.

Chan bit his lip and swallowed down a whine. “Seungmin-ah,” he huffed in embarrassment. The blush on his cheeks spread down his neck to his chest until his entire upper body was covered in a deep shade of pink. Seungmin chuckled softly as he looked over his body, but nothing about it was mocking. It was full of as much fondness as his eyes, which looked at Chan like he held the universe. He felt like he was going to fall apart. 

“Fuck, your body is literally perfect. Look at you,” Seungmin groaned as he sat up to hover over Chan’s torso. He ran his hands over Chan’s tummy and traced the ridges of his abs with his fingertips. “Gorgeous.” 

Warmth spread through Chan’s chest and his eyes stung. Unlike earlier, however, his tears weren’t due to pain. Seungmin just managed to make him feel so much, and it was all positive. “Th-thank you,” he stuttered. 

Seungmin leaned down and began kissing just below his belly button, slightly above where Chan needed him most at his now aching cock. He scraped his teeth over the skin and then soothed the area with his tongue. Chan’s chest was tight with emotion as Seungmin mouthed all over his abs, leaving red and purple in his wake. Whenever he got to a really sensitive spot, he would moan and his cock would twitch weakly between his legs. Seungmin knew all his weak spots so he made sure to give those areas special attention. 

But he also gave areas that Chan felt most insecure about attention. And that was how Chan found himself unable to hold back tears, little droplets spilling from the corners of his eyes to wet his temples and cheeks. “Min–” he whimpered, reaching out for him. He felt so good, but in the most overwhelming way. 

“Are you okay?” Seungmin asked, concern etched on his features. Chan nodded, despite the tears flowing. 

“Yes I just–” He took a deep breath and swallowed down a cry. “You just treat me so well.” 

Seungmin’s gaze softened and he smiled. “Of course, hyung. You deserve it. All of it.” He took the hand that Chan had reached out with and intertwined their fingers. He gave his hand a light squeeze. “I’ve got you, hyung. And it's okay to cry.” 

Chan nodded and a little sob caught in his throat as Seungmin resumed his kisses. He moved up from his abdomen to his chest, an area where Chan was more sensitive, and never once did he let go of his hand. “You’re stunning, Chan. The most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.” Soft praises were mumbled against his skin in between each kiss. Chan felt like he was floating.

He took his time mapping out his skin with his lips and breathy moans and little gasps fell from Chan’s mouth. He was becoming needier, aching for Seungmin’s touch elsewhere, especially when he flicked his tongue over his nipple and began to suck on it. Chan keened and his hips jerked up a bit. He swallowed thickly at the smirk on Seungmin’s lips as he popped off. “I love how sensitive you are,” he said genuinely, giving Chan’s hand another squeeze. “You always look so pretty underneath me like this.” 

Chan whined and bit his lip and Seungmin smiled, bright as ever. “Stunning,” he mumbled. Chan inhaled sharply as Seungmin dropped his head again to begin attaching his neck with kisses. Arousal pooled in his stomach and he gasped when Seungmin sucked underneath his jaw. 

“Seung–Seungmin-ah,” he gasped, his grip on Seungmin’s hand tightening. “Please. I need you–I want you to make me come.” 

“Of course,” Seungmin said. He was always so patient, so caring. Chan still never felt like he fully deserved it, but Seungmin made him feel like he deserved it more. 

He slipped his hand between them and wrapped it around Chan’s heavy cock. His touch immediately had pleasure erupting in the pit of his stomach and he arched his back. Seungmin stroked his cock with slow, rhythmic movements and he pressed Chan’s hand, still intertwined with his own, into the mattress. 

“Good, hyung?” Seungmin asked after a moment. He was still adorning his neck and collarbones with marks, ones that would be a bitch to hide. But at this point, Chan didn’t care. 

“So good,” he moaned lowly, muscles flexing underneath Seungmin’s touch. “I’m close.” 

“I’m glad, you’re doing so well. The best, hyung,” Seungmin mumbled. He lifted his head from Chan’s chest and smiled down at him. “Can I kiss you?” 

Chan nodded vigorously. “ Please .” 

His lips were warm, so warm and so soft. Chan melted against the sheets as Seungmin slotted their lips together in a deep, deep kiss that had his toes curling and his fingers flexing against Seungmin’s hand. Seungmin took up all of his senses. He was everywhere. No more were the thoughts of not being good enough, of failing, of his insecurities. His mind was full of Seungmin, Seungmin, Seungmin . 

He was brought to his orgasm like that. With Seungmin’s lips on his, his tongue in his mouth, his one hand pumping his cock while his other hand held Chan’s. Chan came with a choked moan and Seungmin swallowed down all the noises that he made. He didn’t pull away until Chan had finished and fully relaxed against the bed. And even when he did remove his hand from his cock, he still gave him a few more kisses. 

“How do you feel?” he asked softly. Chan smiled. 

“Much better,” he hummed. A little guilt still made its way into his mind though and he sighed. “I’m sorry you have to take care of me like this…” 

“Shh, don’t even start with that, hyung,” Seungmin said, gently kissing his lips to shush him. “I like taking care of you. It gives me pleasure too, you know.” 

Chan nodded. It could be hard to accept Seungmin’s words sometimes, but he wanted to believe them. “Ahh, you didn’t get to come though…” he said, frowning softly. 

“That’s okay,” Seungmin replied. “You can always help me out later, but this is all about you. As long as you felt good, then I’m happy. You’ll get the chance to touch me, okay?” 

“Okay,” Chan said softly, lifting his head a bit to kiss Seungmin’s lips. At one point he would have insisted, but he knew by now Seungmin didn’t always need that to be satisfied. 

“Good. Let me clean you up and then you need to eat.” Chan nodded and let Seungmin take care of him the way he needed, the way they both needed. Because as much as Chan needed to be taken care of sometimes, Seungmin needed to take care of someone. And Chan was lucky enough to have that person be him.

#kinktober #kinktober 2023 #kinktober day 28 #body worship #insecurities #body image #fluff #fluff and smut #skz smut #stray kids smut #stray kids fanfiction #fanfiction #smut #stray kids fanfic #skz fic #skz fanfiction #light angst #bang chan smut #kim seungmin smut

[cabin10diaries]

im so im so. obsessed with jason but specifically what other people think of him

reyna oh my beloved reyna <333 she knew him the best of everyone and then he disappeared, came back brand new? new friends, new girl, new person, and shes glad he's happy but where did HER jason go ? the one she trained with, spent years getting close with, spending all her time with? he was taken from her, and as happy as she is for the new jason he can never fill her heart the same

piper my lovely was basically coerced into a relationship built on false narratives with him, and she broke up bc that wasnt right !! what were they now? ofc, they were friends, but the tension of fake memories and fading feelings was still effective. it was so hard to talk to him but she wanted it to be easy again like in her fake memories

leo (this is valgraced bc im a valgrace truther ok?) hated him but loved him as a friend and more. jason was what leo wanted to be; respected, smart, listened to, not seeming like a burden. he wanted that so bad, which made him want jason, too. stuck between do i want my best friends boy or do i want to kill him and take his place? he was soo jealous but guilty of the jealousy bc it wasnt like it was jasons fault the way ppl treated the two differently. and jason was the same to leo, he wanted leos humor and be able to make a room laugh instead of having them glare at him for being to stern, even tho thats what he had been taught to do. they found a unique bond with each other by wanting aspects of each other while liking the parts they didnt want to be

cohort5/new rome [bar hazel and frank] etc looked up to him so much. he was their role model, their leader, their voice of reason, the person to turn to, THE guy. they basically idolized and dehumanized him to nothing but the boy who was raised to lead them, especially bc he was the son of jupiter. the first in so long, ofc he was important and special, why treat him like normal ?

percy ,,, he respected jason eventually. they clashed but they learned how to work through the clashing and fight alongside each other instead of against each other. they had similar yet dif personalities, percy fighting to be listened to while jason had been forced to speak. both leaders, respected, treated like leaders but in dif ways bc of the way their social groups functioned. they both wanted what each other had; percy wanted the stability of new rome, knowing he'd have people that would come back alive every summer. jason wanted the close bonds of camp halfblood without being put into a heavy spotlight

thalia loved him. he was her younger brother, how could she not? she pitied him, tho, from the way he lived in new rome. she knew the life well, being thrown into the spotlight and everything bc she herself was a daughter of zeus (like how chiron and camp treated her, esp if u compare it with how they treated percy after she came back) and hoped he would find a place better. her arms were always open for him but she had another life she wanted to live, too

octavian. pure hatred and jealousy. jason was everything he wanted. he was in leader positions, respected, listened to. octavian thought of him similarly to leo, but without the good bond. he despised jason because he wanted everything jason got just for being born from jupiter. it was unfair, and octavian decided to take advantage when jason disappeared. he wouldnt have another chance to take the spots that belonged to him

nico grew fond of him. he couldnt not have, esp after how jason treated him after the cupid incident. immediately showing his trust, backing him up, etc etc, it was finally someone nico could trust and talk to after years of running from camp and monsters and guilt of dead sisters and tense/awkward friend?ship with his very happily taken crush. nico found someone he could depend on, even if he didnt want to

beryl damn. she had some love for him. deep down, she knew she did, he was her son. but she couldnt focus on him, she had her life to take. her downfall started with thalia and zeus, jason made it worse. even if he was her son, the little love she had for him was so hard to find. too hard to even try. so, she left him, maybe hoping for a better life for him, or wanting to get rid of him. she knew both reasons were true

hedge isnt too talked about in general but he loved jason okay. the son he never had, before chuck. he was him and leos and pipers protector, and he would lay down his life for any of the three. they were his children, even if he no longer talks to them, theyll hold the spot in his heart

hazel and frank and annabeth had similar thoughts about jason. none were really close; hazel and frank looked up to jason like the rest of new rome, but could see him as a person because they actually talked to him. they thought positively about jason, he was friends with all three. even if they werent as close as tlh trio, they still liked jason. how could you not, after a war stuck with them? they think of jason like one does with a friend who used to be close, but grew apart simply because of time. they like him, but theyre not close

hera oh !! he was her son. he was her champion. he was hers, even if he was caused by the reoccuring infidelity of her husband. he was her champion and she loved him like a son. she had a genuine bond with him, one thats hard to form with a god and mortal/demigod. she was the better beryl, and him the better heracles

lesterpollo. he thinks of jason so. much. i firmly believe jason was a big big big part in lester changing, i mean, watching someone know they were going to die and WILLINGLY go into the situation? he had nothing but respect and admiration towards jason. jason was like a mentor to him, showing and reminding him of the right thing to do

#very headcanon filled #hope th is makes sense i just finishedan online test and buncha hw so oops #shel says shit #pjo #percy jackson #heroes of olympus #hoo #trials of apollo #toa #the trials of apollo #jason grace #reyna avila ramirez arellano #reyna ramirez arellano #piper mclean #leo valdez #valgrace #new rome #cohort 5 #thalia grace #octavian #octavian toa #nico di angelo #beryl grace #gleeson hedge #hazel levesque #frank zhang #annabeth chase #hera pjo #lester papadopoulos #apollo pjo