#grumpy too and my filter is gone | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tiddygame · 2 months

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i’ve stared at this for so long that i now hate it and think ive lost all concept of how to write so take this and get it out of my google docs

the introduction is rough and the medical depictions (and accuracy/realism) could use some (a lot of) work but whatever! here it is, my vague yet still oddly specific idea of how the face reveal would go in @myriadblvck ’s streamer au:

tw: description of a panic attack? i think?

[this takes place post first irl meet but before they’re officially together]

imagine ghost has a glasgow smile but on one side they carved a little too deep and left some nerve damage. time and surgery helped, after which he could eat unimpeded and talk without a lisp, but there's still some facial nerve damage and/or skin contractures from scarring, specifically around the corner of his mouth.

now, everytime he smiles, be it shit eating grin or a full genuine joy filled smile that not even grumpy mcgrumperson could hold off, it always looks wrong because one corner doesn't raise fully like the other.

everything else is fine, there isn’t any facial paralysis, he just smiles… wrong. especially since only one eye properly squints when he smiles, giving him the look of someone who got stuck mid wink.

if he wants to look “normal” (or as normal as he could get it) he has to manually squint his other eye. still, it always felt weird; you don't realize how much those muscles affect the rest of your face until they're gone.

it's why he learned to always wear the mask.

when his expression is neutral, you don’t really notice it. if you can see his mouth when he talks however, it’s obvious that there’s something wrong. he wouldn’t say he’s necessarily ashamed of the scars and damage itself, but it’s the stares that are the worst. before he started hiding behind it, people would openly gawk or even glare at him as if he was some ne’er-do-well gang member that got what was coming to him.

he still remembers the cosmetic surgeon that had been talking to him about fixing the contractures— the whole appointment was a fucking nightmare. the cuts had healed nicely enough especially considering how bad it could have been; he was lucky to only need a little cosmetic help. the only reason he was there was so he could fucking eat food without struggling to open his mouth.

the doctor spent god knows how long breaking down everything wrong with his face like he was a fucking car mechanic lying about how dirty your filter is. the guy constantly mentioned that while he was under, they could also fix his jawline, do a rhinoplasty, trying to break him down to agree to more work.

he was already fuming my the time the doc brought up how kids would react. asking ghost if he wanted to scare children since “you cant expect the little youngins that are still learning about the world to not get scared by something scary,” and that “even some adults would cringe at the scarring.”

what stuck out most was the condescending smile he had when he said it. as if he was pointing out the obvious and ghost was being stupid and shortsighted by not agreeing.

he declined everything except what was medically necessary. the procedure went fine and after an aggravatingly long recovery period, he could eat solid foods again without issue. but the comments still stuck with him.

…okay, maybe he’s a little ashamed.

scaring kids with your face doesn’t feel good and being reminded of everything you’ve lost when you try to smile can really fuck you up in a way words fail to describe.

so yeah, he hates it. he’s gotten used to the mask, both skull clad balaclava and simple medical mask, being a permanent layer of armor. even now that he’s a bit more comfortable in his own skin it still feels wrong to pull it off.

when he gets close to soap, it still feels like a layer of vulnerability that he’ll never be prepared for.

the first time he let soap see his face, there hadn’t been any grandiose build up, no extravagant planning.

simon had arrived just a few hours earlier. he hated commercial flights with a burning passion but it was always worth it to see johnny.

with soaps twin out of town for the week, he had decided to take leave to spend time with his friend, a friend that he most certainly did NOT have a crush on (a disclaimer roach and gaz heard everytime they started snickering over ghost taking leave.)

johnny had cooked something nice and simple for dinner, saying that simon had spent too long with MREs and deserved real food (ghost only agreed if he was the one washing the dishes, soap had laughed and told him he's not so kind as to let him off the hook for chores).

when they ate, it was always in the living room with johnny taking care to always stay angled away from simon, never trying to catch a glimpse, regardless of how much he wanted to see what was under the mask. the obvious gesture of kindness and respect for his boundaries always left him feeling all weird and fuzzy inside. but, then again, johnny seemed pretty good at triggering that feeling in general.

their finished plates were on the coffee table and johnny was watching whatever dumb movie he had put on. he was pretty sure the man spent more time talking over it and making fun of everything than he did actually watching it (it was simon’s favorite way to watch a movie.)

ghost however, was watching soap. thinking.

in the end, it was an impulsive decision made after a strong three seconds of consideration.

“you uhm— you can look by the way,” ghost stared at the can of soda in his hands, immediately regretting the words.

“what?” soap didn’t fully turn, just shifted slightly to hear him better. a simple gesture to show he was listening without turning to face him. it normally made simon happy to see that johnny was more than willing to accommodate for his boundaries. now though it made him feel stupid for robbing johnny of a normal face to face conversation, a normal human interaction, just over his idiotic insecurities.

“my face, you—,” he felt his heart block his airway and tried clearing his throat before continuing, “you can look if you want,” christ he wanted the ground to swallow him whole. why was he getting so fucked up over this?

“are you sure?” he hadn’t turned yet, but ghost could see his pensive expression from here. this should be nothing. realistically, he knew johnny seeing his scars wouldn’t suddenly make him hate him… right?

“yes.”

but it was more than the fear of hatred, wasn’t it? he was scared that johnny would see him. see more than just the scars, see all of the ugly idiosyncrasies and insecurities laid bare. afraid that johnny would see the truth of how unlovable he was.

jesus he was getting so fucking worked up and dramatic over nothing.

ghost didn’t look up. he made an effort to not focus on his peripheral vision. he heard soap turn, heard the intake of breath. the silence was loud only for a second. then, deafening white noise surrounded him, inescapable, suffocating.

fuck.

he didn’t regret giving permission but god did he regret everything else; the stupid scars, the stupid nerve damage, the stupid way he had managed to fall for someone so fucking good like johnny while he was unequivocally unworthy of his love.

stop being so fucking dramatic. you are not together, never have been and never will be. reality was blatant in front of him but it didn’t stop his heart from foolishly hoping.

he heard soap stand and walk closer. saw from where he was still staring a hole in the can his feet step in front of his. saw johnny’s hands raise. he took a deep breath in, closed his eyes, and with a great deal of effort didn’t flinch when soaps fingers grazed his cheek.

both of his hands came up to cup his face, holding him and ever so slightly tilting his face up, giving him the chance to pull away. he didn’t. he may be a coward but he wasn’t backing down.

ghost eventually opened his eyes to see soap staring at him with wide eyes. he looked away, staring off to some point on the right. he hated not knowing what soap was thinking.

they stayed there for a while before soap broke the silence, muttering, “i fuckin knew you had freckles.”

it was stupid but it shocked a laugh out of ghost. he meant to drop his head, embarrassed that something so dumb made him laugh, but accidentally just pushed himself further into soaps hands making him blush.

he looked up and saw soap staring even harder than before. the chuckle died in his chest.

“do that again.”

ghost just gave him a confused look.

“smile.”

such a simple request, a one word sentence, but it set his face ablaze. his breath caught in his throat, somewhere around where his heart was still trying to choke him.

…he hadn’t thought it was that bad but soaps reaction indicated otherwise. fuck. was his it that awful? he wanted the ground to swallow him whole. this was stupid. he was stupid.

“simon,” of course, one word from johnny and it felt like he could breathe again.

“please?”

fucking goddamn soap and his stupid fucking puppy dog eyes and the way he has ghost wrapped around his fucking finger without even realizing.

ghost smiled. there was no real mirth, more a grimace than anything else. he just wanted to get this over with.

soap was still staring at him, his thumbs tracing his lips, following scars, drawing imaginary lines between freckles… if he wasn't so terrified it might have felt nice.

“Christ,” ghosts heart cracked more, “you weren't lying when you said you were beautiful.”

ghost huffed a laugh and went back to staring off to the right, the fake smile dropping. of course soap would try to lighten the mood with a joke.

his panic fled as quickly as it had consumed him, now just left sitting in soap's living room, face still cradled in caring hands, resigned to his mistakes.

he felt so tired and johnny's hands felt so inviting.

“i wasn't joking,” soap looked…upset? angry? wait— fuck, what’d he do?

ghost stared back at soap, confused and tired. soaps nails felt the grooves of the scar, catching where the skin was raised and lowered.

“you don't have to lie, soap. im a grown man. I'm not fragile. you don't need to coddle me,” ghost said it like it was a joke, hoping soap would laugh along and that this would all just blow over. that tomorrow morning they could forget this ever happened.

“are you calling me a liar?” soap’s brow furrowed. great. instead, he had managed to make everything worse and piss off soap as well.

ghost took in a deep breath, giving himself another shot at calming things down, “no, I'm not. I think you're lying, but you're not a liar,” he stood and stepped to the side, grabbing their dirty plates and walking them to the kitchen sink, “you just don't want to upset me, it's fine. I get it. you're a nice person but you don't have to lie to spare my feelings.”

“I am not fucking lying!” as per usual, all ghost had managed to do was make things worse. there’s a reason he had decided to stick to the battlefield and give up on domesticity.

“well alright then. agree to disagree,” he turned the kitchen tap and started rinsing the dishes, waiting for the water to heat up. just walk away. end it there. let us forget about this stupid blunder and move on. please just leave it. please, please, please—

“no.”

the force behind it damn near made ghost drop the plate he was holding. he managed to set it in the sink carefully and turned to face soap, who was now in the kitchen as well.

“i— I'm not just gonna fucking— simon,” soap took in a deeper breath and went to continue but ghost was faster.

“johnny,” he interrupted, walking forward with his hands up in a gesture of surrender, approaching slowly.

one last chance to not fuck everything up.

“the fact is they're called deformities for a reason. they're not cute. they're not pretty. they're your body’s way of healing what it can and protecting what it can't. it's not meant to look nice, it's just—”

“bullshit they’re not pretty! says fucking who?” the genuine distress in soap’s voice and force behind his words caught him off guard. “simon—”

he huffed and ran his fingers through his hair roughly, pulling slightly at the strands. christ, ghost needs to shut the fuck up. every single time he speaks he just upsets soap more and more.

he needs to retake his hostage negotiations courses. clearly he has forgotten everything about how to diffuse a situation.

johnny takes another second to breathe and collect his thoughts before he speaks.

“simon. I know that— that ‘this’ isn't something that's going to fix itself overnight and I don't expect it to. but, ‘the fact is,’ I think you're pretty.”

ghost opens his mouth to disagree but johnny doesn’t let him.

“no no,” johnny put his hand over simon’s mouth, shocking him into silence. he blinks twice, stupefied.

“i think— no. I know you're pretty. cute even. beautiful is a given but obviously worth mentioning.”

his hand moved to cup simon’s cheek. ghost grabbed his wrist but didn’t stop him, wether it was a warning or encouragement he himself didn’t know.

johnny continued, unperturbed, “you disagreeing doesn't change that, right?”

there was a pause and simon realized he wanted an answer.

“johnny-”

“ah ah!” his hand moved back to cover his mouth, grabbing his face and shaking his head back and forth, over accentuating his words, “you disagreeing doesn't change that, right? yes or no.”

he stopped shaking him and moved his hand back to simon’s cheek. simon sighed, defeated, “yes. you are right.”

johnny looked smug, “good. and what do you say when i give you a compliment you don’t agree with?”

simon sputtered, “wha— i don't fucking know—”

“nothing! you don’t say anything!” soap looked way too proud of himself and he continued, “or thank you if you feel so inclined.”

“that was a trick question,” simon replied eventually.

johnny thumbed over his scars once more, again tracing them, “sure it was. now go take a shower.”

he patted his cheek twice and walked to the hallway.

“wait,” johnny probably shook the few remaining brain cells out of his head. “this whole conversation ends with you telling me that I stink?”

“yes. rancid,” johnny opened the door to the linen closet. simon was still in the kitchen. the tap was still running.

“no dipshit, do you not remember telling me that commercial planes makes you feel gross?” johnny threw a towel at him, which he caught just in time for johnny to hit him with a bath rag.

ghost had mentioned that… ages ago, he thinks. on facetime with each other, discussing the merits of bathrooms on public transport. he had said that enclosed, crowded spaces like commercial planes or buses made him feel, well, gross. how—or why—did he remember that?

“but… I’m supposed to wash the dishes?” a weak argument against the stubbornness he was faced with but simon had officially lost track of his mind and this conversation.

johnny shot him a weird look as he walked back towards the kitchen sink. simon still hadn’t moved.

“did you think i was being serious earlier?”

“yes???” he felt like he had been given a lobotomy.

johnny decided to take pity on him and explained in a soft voice that felt out of place, “i was being sarcastic. i’m not going to make you wash the dishes, simon.”

“but that was the agreement: you cook and i wash the dishes.”

johnny laughed as if he remembered something funny, “yeah, i lied.”

simon still stood there, trying to figure out if he had a stroke. johnny had been angry, completely pissed at him, but now was letting him off the hook and calling him pretty? what the fuck is happening?

johnny turned him and pushed him towards the hallway. simon could have resisted but his resolve always seems to crumble around johnny mactavish.

“now go shower, you beautiful bastard,” soap grabbed one of the plates out of the sink and started washing it with water that had probably heated ages ago.

ghost walked towards the bathroom, feeling like he was on autopilot, limbs disconnected from his brain. his cheek still felt… odd? weird? tingly?

it felt something from where johnny had grabbed it. ghost thinks… he thinks he likes the feeling, whatever it is.

he needs to sleep.

#ghost: i look like a monster :(#soap: OH NO HES HOT #[also the interaction ghost has with the doctor is based on real life experience both me and other family members have had lmao]#also also it goes w/o saying but this isn’t negative towards cosmetic surgery but rather the cosmetic surgery industry #not pictured: me having a full scale debate w/ myself over tagging the person this is literally for #look i have anxiety alright #ghostsoap #soapghost #ghoap #unreliable narrator #(soap is so fucking in love and ghost is so fucking stupid)#streamer au #streamer! au #streamer! soap #or is it #streamer!soap #god i hate tumblrs tagging system #my writing

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lokischocolatefountain · 5 months

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Guess

Fandom: Star Wars, The Mandalorian

Pairing: Din Djarin x Reader

Rating: PG13, fluff

Word count:

Summary: A game of guessing goes right in every way for you and Din, your kind of friend, sort of boss.

A/N: Day 1 of my fic advent calendar and my first Din Djarin fic on here! Credits to my friend @lokislittlevalkyrie for co-creating the reader character and for our long conversations about her and Din. Keep checking the advent calendar Masterlist for more fics dropping this month. And leave me a little comment to encourage me to keep the fics going 💜💜💜

“Stop scowling.”

“I’m not scowling,” he lied, trying his best to keep his tone neutral even though he was surprised that she knew he was scowling. Lucky guess, he told himself. But how many lucky guesses could one person have about his facial expressions?

“You so were!” She insisted, sinking further back into the novelty ‘chair’ she bought on their last stop. It was a sphere half filled with tiny soft particles that molded itself to the user’s shape. She slouched on it as she continued watching one of her holodramas, something with a murder or speeders (or both) at the heart of the story.

“I was not.”

“If you say so, Din Can,” she said, using her nickname for him. He chuckled reflexively, unable to control his responses to her. Thankfully, his helmet filtered the sound out, saving him the embarrassment of finding humor in the humiliating nickname. He smiled, glad she didn’t know just how many times she’d made him laugh whether by mocking him or making clever remarks in general.

“I do say so.”

She was beautiful. Taking up the creed meant hiding one’s own face from others. To hide what would serve as the basis of others’ first impression of you so that your valor and your character would serve as your defining features. Vanity was not something he was raised with. Yet he knew beauty when it stared him in the eye and called him Din Can everyday. Or Tin Djarin. Buckethead when he really pissed her off.

Dinny Bear when she was intoxicated.

Blood rushed to his cheek when he thought of the last time she did that. She’d gotten very comfortable around him in the months they’d been crew mates. All her initial jitters and jumpiness around him had gone and been replaced with her stubbornness, strange sense of humour, and a level of confidence she didn’t have with him before.

He had to chase her down to even get her to accept the job he was offering her as a travelling mechanic. He’d never heard of one before. And she was quite frightened of him after the kind of interaction they had at Peli’s shop. But he needed a mechanic on board. With the kid in his hands now, it became hard to juggle a failing ship with hunting bounties and caring for a mischievous kid who waited for the moment he took his eyes off him to cause chaos.

It helped to have a mechanic on board at all times. She was wonderful and came approved by Peli. Over time, she became more than his mechanic. A friend, he would be brave enough to say. If he were braver with women, he would say that he’s caught her sneaking glances at him. That he felt her twinkling eyes rove over his armor every now and then. Sometimes he was confident of it. At others, he convinced himself that his mind was clouded by his desire for her. By his desire for her to desire him too.

The matter of his expressions came up once again later after dinner.

“Stop looking so grumpy.”

“You cannot see my face.”

“Yeah but you look grumpy.”

He grunted, turning away from her to focus on the controls. They were on hyperspeed. There was nothing he needed to do with the controls. But to come face to face with her when she told him exactly what he did underneath his helmet was…too much.

“Heyy! Let’s play a game?” She asked, her voice bubbling with excitement.

“Play with Grogu.”

“He’s asleep. And this is not a game for little potatoes.”

He chuckled softly at the nickname and looked up at her again, awaiting her proposal. “What would that be?” He asked.

“A drinking game.”

“Drinking is a game now?”

“Dank farrik! I missed when you used to be quiet. Just listen to me. I’ll guess what your face looks like under your helmet and if I get it right, you should take a sip of your drink. And if I get it wrong, I take a sip. Let’s do it with the Silver Elixir,” she said, getting up from her seat to fetch the bottle from their liquor cabinet they kept locked to keep away from wandering little womp rats.

She returned with the bottle, two glasses and straws. They’d recently taken to drinking together. She bought him a straw a begged him to join her, using her sweet eyes and her adorable pout to convince him. She said she only had drinks with friends and that drinking alone on the razor crest made her feel lonely.

He gave in to her, just like he gave in to their little green crewmate.

She didn’t need to use a straw, of course. Yet she did. When he asked, she said it was so that he didn’t feel lonely drinking through a straw like a kid. Even in her insults, she managed to be sweet.

“Start guessing,” he said impatiently as she sat next to him and looked intently at their glasses to see if they were filled equally.

“Sure, sure… You have dark hair,” she said, passing his drink to him. “Dark brown.”

“A little too obvious, isn’t it?” He asked, knowing she had definitely seen his hair in the trash after he gave himself haircuts and shaved his facial hair.

“Drink up, old man!” She said, lips wide in a grin as she knew already that she was right.

He snorted, but followed through, taking a sip of the strong liquor. “Alright. Next.”

“You have….big green ears.”

“Wrong,” he huffed, smiling nevertheless at her sense of humour.

“Damn it! I should’ve known they wouldn’t fit inside the helmet,” she said, taking a sip. She was smiling too, and unlike his, it was out in the open and as bright as the stars around them.

“Those were two descriptors. Big and green. Take one more sip,” he argued. He didn’t particularly want to get her drunk, but he liked how adorable she was when intoxicated. One of their drinking sessions ended with her snuggling up to him because she couldn’t find the kid to snuggle like a children’s stuffed animal.

“What? No! It was one guess, so it’s one sip.”

“Again, you guessed the size and color of my ears and they were both wrong. Take a sip.”

She rolled her eyes, but complained, taking another sip. She leaned close and narrowed her eyes at him, as though focusing on his helmet would reveal what was underneath. He smiled unconsciously, taking in the beauty of her from up close. The light in her eyes, the way her eyebrows knit together when she was in deep thought, lips that impressed him with the wittiest remarks… Lips he wanted desperately to pull to his, to devour and make moan his name.

“No moustache.”

“Hmmm….” He hummed, thinking of how he could sort the point for this. He *did* have a moustache, but that was only now. There were times when he shaved it off completely. “It’s complicated. I have a moustache now, but I change it quite frequently. So, half a sip.”

“If I have to take half a sip, so should you.”

“No, I don’t,” he scoffed at her warped logic. Here he was, being nice and giving her some credit even though she was wrong. But she was trying to take advantage of it.

“Yeah you should. If I’m taking half a sip because I was half right and half wrong, you should also take a sip because you’re half right and half wrong.”

“No. That’s not how it works. I have facial hair now, which means you are wrong. I should’ve made you take a full sip, but I decided to make a concession because I am sometimes fully shaven.”

“Dank Farrik! You’re such a lightweight. Just say you can’t handle your liquor and I’ll let you go,” she taunted, a smirk plying at her lips.

“Oh please, I can handle my liquor much better than you can. Here,” he said, drinking the strong undiluted alcohol like it was water in a few big sips. He slammed the glass against the control panel surface and shrugged. “See, I’m good. You are the one who gets drunk after one portion of the Silver Elixir and terrorizes the kid.”

She gasped, as though he made a much bigger accusation. “I don’t terrorize the kid! I just give him extra cuddles and kisses. He enjoys them very much. It’s called affection, Tin Can. Ever heard of it?”

He tilted his head at her in the way that sometimes made her swallow audibly. “So you think that because of my way of life, I have never experienced affection?”

She opened and closed her mouth quickly, as though her mind and lips were in disagreement about whether or not what they were about to say was appropriate. He smiled under his helmet, proud of himself for stumping her. She talked a lot. Since he was a quiet man, everyone else was talkative in comparison. But she was the voice he heard the most as they lived together on the Razor Crest and their other occupant communicated mostly in coos and squeals.

“That’s not what I meant!”

“Say what. Since the drinking thing was already disproportionate anyway because I’m not guessing your features and I can handle my liquor much better than you do….lets change the rules.” He took a deep breath, afraid of the consequences of his words but unable to miss this opportunity. “For each correct guess you make, I’ll give you a kiss.”

“You’re kidding,” she said, scoffing.

“I’m not known for my humor.”

She took a deep breath and looked directly into his eyes, making his heart skip a beat. Kriff, the things she did without even knowing! He thought he could die from the anticipation of hearing her next guess. Would she guess something ridiculous like big green ears to make sure she doesn’t have to kiss him? Or would she make a very obviously correct guess?

“You have…” she trailed in a softer voice, looking at him almost coyly. “…pink lips.”

Not the most obvious guess. Not all humans had pink lips. And he could easily not be human. He didn’t remember telling her he was… But if she was going for something for a higher likelihood of being correct… Kriff he hoped she was. “Do you want me to turn the lights off or blindfold you?” He asked, conveying indirectly that she was right.

“Wh-whaaat? Why?” She sputtered, looking at him with those pretty eyes, vulnerability brimming in her expressions.

Did he get the wrong idea? Maybe her obvious guesses weren’t because she wanted to be right so she could kiss him… Maybe it was just the product of her usual playful nature.

“Because I will have to take my helmet off when I kiss you,” he proceeded to say, even as his heart beat faster with the anxiety of how this could go. They were adults. It it was a misunderstanding, he would simply get over it and do his best to not make it awkward between them. “And you cannot see me.”

“I…” she trailed off before letting out a nervous laugh. “I didn’t think you were serious.”

“Again. Not known for my humor,” he said, letting a smile seep into his words. She was so kriffing adorable, looking all nervous like a blurrg stuck in a doorway. “You don’t have to, of course. I can give you something else. Ten credits, perhaps?”

“What, no. A deal is a deal.”

“Then tell me, my dear mechanic. Lights out or blindfold?”

“Lights out.”

Pity. He was hoping to see her pretty face when he kissed her. Not moving from where he was, he pressed the buttons on the control panel, turning all the lights out. In the pitch black of outer space, he could see nothing. Perfect.

“What can you see?” He asked, just to be sure.

“Nothing,” she said, in her voice so low and soft that it was swallowed up by the darkness. What entity wouldn’t want to swallow up something his pretty mechanic put out? Every word she said, every touch of her fingers against the trees and rocks and flowers. If he were air, he would luxuriate in her scent. If he were water, he would caress her skin and play with her hair as he cleansed her. If he were fire, he would creep into her skin, warm her up when she needed. But he was nothing but man. So, he would have to satisfy himself with a kiss from her lips.

“Are you sure?” She asked as he stepped forward to her.

“I am. Are *you* sure?”

There was silent for a moment before she said, “Yes. Kiss me.”

Needing nothing else, he took his helmet off and placed it carefully on his seat. His heart thudded against his ribs, and his breaths grew labored. And he hadn’t even touched her yet.

In all his years, he had never kissed anyone. It was not part of the culture of his people what with the metal barriers that kept them from it. He remembered the sweet kisses on his forehead and cheeks from before he took the creed. But that was not what his heart desired. He wanted the kind of thing she watched on her holopad, all the holodramas with characters who showed their desire through an intense kiss that left their partner speechless.

He reached forward and found her hand. She gasped softly, the quietness of the ship letting him in on her soft sounds. He caressed up her arm, enjoying the slight tremble of her skin beneath the tips of his fingers. He stopped at her neck and allowed himself to cradle it in his hand. He felt her lean closer and he reciprocated, taking the final step. He tilted his head to his right feeling that she tilted to her right.

As he closed the gap between them, he felt her warm breath on his skin. He swallowed, his lips parting from how nervous he was. What if he was no good? What if he didn’t have good breath? What if he’s such a bad kisser that she— he gasped softly as she pressed her lips against his. In an instant, she quietened the sounds his head. The fast beating of his heart, he realized was now from the effect of proximity to her more than his insecurities.

She placed one hand on his shoulder and wrapped her other arm around his waist. He let out a shaky breath at the intimacy of their contact and let his other hand trail down her back. She pressed herself closer against his beskar clad chest, making him wish he had the forethought to toss that bit of his armor too. He wanted to feel her. Every bit of her that she was offering up to him like she truly believed he was deserving.

Her lips were soft, just as he’d dreamt them to be. He’d never kissed before. It was an act saved for married couples in the covert, as only your spouse could see you with your helmet off. He had married friends who waxed poetry about the magic of kissing. How they felt like nothing and nobody mattered other than your partner. How it turned you into putty in their hands. He thought it was exaggerated… Until now.

He cupped her cheek, her face fitting in his hand and making him feel a new sense of protectiveness towards her. He’d protected her before, sure, but this felt different. This was something to do with a need to be gentle with her. To cherish her and treasure her. She licked his lips and he parted them instinctively, letting her tongue between his lips. He shuddered as her fingers threaded through his hair. He whimpered and pulled her closer to himself in the moment of vulnerability, using her as a crutch to support him. He’d never been touched like that before…

Her fingers explored his hair and he allowed himself to relax in his arms, even letting himself give her comforting caresses of her back. He felt her melt into his arms as their kiss deepened. She tasted of the silver elixir first, but when they were both a little along the way, he began to taste something that was distinctly her. Something sweet, mixing with the fragrance of her citrusy perfume to further dull his senses.

It was soft, but electrifying. He poured his passions into the kiss, exploring her with his tongue and luxuriating in the sweet little whimpers she let out. The technicalities stopped mattering. He was here, holding the girl he’d been pining for, lips connected as the unlikely result of a stupid game. That moment was all that mattered and her sounds of satisfaction told him that he wasn’t doing so bad after all.

She pulled back in a while and they let out the breaths they’d be holding. She let out a laugh and he smiled, comforted by her job. He didn’t even know he’d been holding his breath. He’d forgetting the necessity for breathing as he found her lips.

“You have…a big nose,” she said, confusing him.

“Huh?” He asked, his mind still clouded from her kiss.

“I get another kiss if I’m right, Dim Djarin,” she teased, pointing to his obliviousness when it came to things of this nature.

“Right,” he said, grinning as he kissed her again. He needed to play games with her more often.

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hbyrde36 · 8 months

Text

Shelter in Place (Pt. 2 of 2)

A Steddie Fic Part 1 here AO3 link

Written for @thefreakandthehair - Lex’s Spicy Six Summer Challenge!

My prompt was : Hurricane

WC: 5,703 l Rating: E (for smut in pt. 2)

Steve wasn't sure he’d ever slept so well, at least not since the monsters came into his life. He still stirred a few times during the night, an unavoidable thing really when you’re sleeping on a couch that is definitely not meant to hold two grown men, but each time he woke still surrounded by Eddie’s warmth and the scent of his skin, he was quickly lulled back to sleep by the comfort of it.

When morning finally came, Steve woke up alone. He didn’t think twice about it, there were any number of reasons Eddie would have gotten up before him. To get water, to pee, to relieve a stiff neck from the position they’d been laying in.

Steve smiled to himself at the memory of them being pressed so close together as he stretched, letting out a big yawn. He buried his face in the throw pillow Eddie’s head had been resting on and breathed deeply, sure that no one had ever smelled this good to him before.

A quiet clatter came from the other room, answering at least the question of where Eddie had gone. The kitchen.

His back was to Steve as he entered the room. The power was still out, of course, but luckily the cooktop was gas. Eddie was heating water to boil on the stove, and had some sort of system rigged up to make coffee, with a strainer, a filter, and a couple of mugs. Steve wanted nothing more than to walk up behind Eddie, wrap arms around his waist, and hook his chin over the other boy’s shoulder, but he stopped short.

That, he realized, was probably too familiar a gesture for this extremely new and undefined thing he felt brewing between them. Steve forced himself to reel it in. Yes, they had hugged and held hands last night. Yes, they fell asleep together cuddled up on the couch, but in reality they were friends now and nothing more. Even if Steve already knew that he really, really, wanted it to be more. He was skipping a step, they needed to talk about it. Eddie didn’t even know that Steve wasn’t straight yet.

He took a deep breath and pumped the emotional and physical brakes, remaining a few feet away as he softly said, “Good morning.”

Eddie visibly stiffened at the sound of his voice, which, in hindsight, should probably have been his first clue that something was wrong, but again Steve found it too easy to explain away. Not everyone was a morning person, and clearly, because he was still in the process of making it, Eddie hadn’t had any coffee yet. Plenty of people were grumpy before coffee.

“Hey.” Eddie grunted, with a half-turn towards Steve, quickly going back to his task without ever making eye contact.

Steve tried to go on as if everything were fine and normal, though there was a kernel of dread beginning to form in the pit of his stomach. He rummaged through the fridge for the half-and-half and pulled the sugar bowl down from the cabinet.

“Did you sleep okay?” He found himself asking, like an idiot. As if he hadn’t been there right next to the guy all night, but he had to make conversation somehow. Why was this so awkward?

“Yup.” Eddie replied simply, his second short and clipped answer of the morning.

Okay, Steve mouthed to himself silently. Something…might be wrong here.

Possibly.

He wracked his brain, wondering where things went wrong. He knew everything he told Eddie last night would be a lot to process, but he seemed to take it well enough at the time.

Steve busied himself with making breakfast, anything to keep from standing in the middle of the kitchen staring longingly at Eddie’s turned back. Out again came his trusty cast iron skillet, and in no time he had an impressive plate of cooked bacon draining on paper towels. He felt Eddie’s eyes on him as he cracked eggs into the pan, one handed, because how else do you crack eggs when a cute boy you want to impress is watching?

“I don’t think I'd ever get used to that.” Eddie murmured quietly, like he hadn’t meant to say it out loud.

Steve looked up, grin already beginning to form before he caught sight of Eddie’s face. His eyes were guarded, mouth set in a tight, thin line. Steve’s heart sank, he didn’t understand. Did he go too far by staying on the couch with him all night? He shouldn’t have assumed that it was okay just because Eddie had fallen asleep on him. Maybe it made him uncomfortable, or maybe Steve was just over reacting. He fought to keep the smile on his face, hoping that if he acted like everything was fine, somehow it would be.

After divvying up their simple breakfast, Steve traded Eddie a plate for one of the cups of coffee. They stood at the counter, neither making a move towards the table. It wasn’t that weird, Steve reasoned at first, he often ate breakfast that way, but with each second that ticked away in silence Steve got more and more nervous. He had this, admittedly irrational, idea that if Eddie ate his food then things would be okay.

He sipped at the cup of coffee he’d been given and watched through the corner of his eye as Eddie did the same. Steve nibbled a piece of bacon halfheartedly, wondering if it was all in his head. No, the air between them was thick with tension, there was no way he was the only one feeling it.

Whatever the problem was, he wanted to fix it. He needed to fix it. Steve knew now that he wanted Eddie, and for a while last night he thought there was a chance that the other boy felt that way too, but maybe it hadn’t meant as much to Eddie as it had to him. That was fine, he would take whatever Eddie was willing to offer, and if that was only friendship then so be it. Either way they needed to clear the air.

“Are you..um. Is everything..uh. Is something wrong?” Steve stammered.

Eddie shrugged, and at first Steve thought he was going to leave it at that, but then the other boy pulled a face far more reminiscent of the way he’d glared at Steve when he first arrived, than the kind looks and smiles they had come to share in the evening.

“Oh y’know, Harrington, just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like, It was one thing last night, in the dark. Emotions were high, you got carried away. I know how this goes. In the stark light of day though? There’s no way you’re okay with being that up close and personal with Eddie ‘the freak’ Munson.”

Steve cringed at the nickname, knowing he himself had used it to refer to the other boy before. God, he was an asshole. He was so confused though. It felt like he had been dropped in the middle of a conversation. Was Eddie mad? Did he think Steve was mad?

“I don’t understand, I mean. It's fine. I guess we’re both huggers? It's not a big deal, is it?.” Steve ventured, trying desperately to save this somehow.

Eddie rubbed roughly at his eyes, before waving a hand towards the living room. “I was only half asleep when you…before you got up to blow the candles out last night.”

Oh, Steve could almost feel the color draining from his face as he processed what that meant. Eddie had been awake, had felt him brush his hair back and probably knew he’d been staring. Fuck, that meant he knew Steve had kissed him. The tiny gesture had felt like a sweet thing in the moment, but now it made him feel like a creep.

He opened and closed his mouth several times, reaching for what to say and coming up with absolutely nothing. The longer he took to respond, the more closed-off Eddie looked. Leave it to Steve to ruin a friendship before it’s even started because he had to go and get a stupid crush on the guy!

Eddie scoffed. “Perfect! Exactly the reaction I thought you’d have this morning! It’s okay, Steve, I won't tell anyone what happened or any of the rest of it. Look, I think I'm just gonna go. The storm has let up enough this morning, I'm sure I can make it to the trailer. It’s fine.”

It wasn't even close to true. Rain still hammered down outside, relentless and loud even on the asphalt shingled roof of the Harrington house. The wind had slowed a bit, but it still wasn’t anything you’d want to be caught out in.

“No! You shouldn’t go yet. Not until it’s safe.” Please, I don’t want you to go.

Eddie shook his head.“You don’t want a reminder of your big mistake sitting around your house all day, so let me just do both of us a favor.”

“Please, just tell me what I did wrong so I can fix it.” Steve begged.

Eddie sighed, rolling his eyes while resolutely refusing to look in Steve's direction. “You got caught up in your feelings after sharing your trauma and shit with me, and it made you do some things you never would have otherwise. Certainly not with another guy anyway, and now you’re regretting it.”

“Eddie, I didn't say any of those things.”

“Your face said it for you. You looked full-on panicked about it not two minutes ago!”

“Yea! Because I thought you were asleep and you weren’t! Now you know I was looking at you and that I kissed you! God I'm so stupid, and such a creep!” Steve rambled, covering his face with his hands, unable to keep looking at Eddie when he was so embarrassed. “I kissed you without your consent, granted it was on the forehead, but still. I’m so sorry, no wonder you want to leave.” He was horrified with himself.

Steve felt the air shift around him, as if Eddie had moved closer. He held his breath, waiting for the other boy’s response. Whatever it might be.

“That’s what's bothering you about this?” Eddie crooned, his warm hands wrapped around Steve's, forcing them down and putting the two boys eye to eye. “You thought I wouldn't want you to kiss me, that I'd be, what? Upset about it?”

Steve gulped, nodding.

“I'm not, for the record, but why did you do it?”

The way Eddie was studying his face, Steve knew he couldn’t lie, couldn’t make up an excuse. Total honesty was the only way to move forward. It was almost as terrifying an idea as telling him about the upside-down.

“You aren’t what I expected you to be. I used to watch you at school, I didn’t know why at the time, although I think I'm starting to get it now. I thought you were loud, obnoxious, and ridiculous, and on closer examination you definitely are all of those things, but you also turned out to be this caring, funny, lovely, and amazing person. Not only have you made this storm bearable, but I had so much fun with you last night. When I freaked out you were so patient with me, even though I acted like a lunatic. You wanted to know what was wrong, and it felt like you actually cared about the answer. You listened. Then you fell asleep, or so I thought, in my arms, and I looked down at your face. It was like I was seeing you for the first time. You’re.. beautiful.”

Eddie released Steve’s hands. He frowned at the loss, but Eddie quietly shushed him as he cupped his cheek. Steve shivered and slipped his eyes closed. The first warm brush of lips took his breath away, but it was the scratch of stubble on his chin, something Steve had never felt during a kiss before, that drew a low moan out of his throat.

Eddie pulled back but didn’t go far, resting their foreheads together as he chuckled lightly.

“I’m sorry for assuming things and freaking out. I just, I thought you were..” Eddie trailed off.

“Straight?”

“Yea.”

“So did I until about 8 hours ago.” Steve admitted.

Eddie blinked rapidly. “And you’re just…okay with that?”

“Sure. I mean, I almost died a few months ago, and last year, and before that. It seems silly at this point to get worked up about being, whatever it is I am. I just want to be happy, and make someone else happy too, if I can. What difference does it make really, if that person is a guy or a girl?”

“Well, when you put it like that.” Eddie laughed, grinning widely before pulling Steve in for another kiss. It’s a bit rougher this time, surer, and more demanding. It leaves Steve feeling breathless and more than a little weak in the knees.

He would have been happy to stay there kissing in the middle of the kitchen all day, but Eddie insisted that they sit and eat the breakfast Steve had gone through the trouble to make, even if the food had gone a little cold.

Later, once the kitchen was cleaned up, the two of them naturally migrated back to the couch. Eddie laid against the arm of it with Steve between his legs, back pressed to Eddie's chest. He liked the way it made him feel small, even though he and Eddie were practically the same height. Steve liked being held, and found himself fantasizing about what it would be like to be the little spoon in bed. He wondered if he’d get to find out sometime with Eddie.

Neither of them were in the mood to play boardgames, or do much of anything but just be together. It should have been boring, laying there talking and sharing the occasional kiss. It was anything but. Steve hadn’t felt this settled or content in a very long time.

“Where are your parents, by the way?” Eddie asked, after a long period of comfortable silence. “You mentioned they were gone. I guess I was hoping for a heads up if there's a chance they could show up here soon. Don’t want to risk getting arrested if they come home to find the town freak in their house.”

Steve, who’d been playing with Eddie's hands, lacing and unlacing their fingers and twisting his rings around, stilled.

“You shouldn’t call yourself that.” Steve murmured. “No one else should either. I’m sorry, by the way, if I ever did or said anything…” He couldn’t remember ever personally giving Eddie a hard time, and given their current circumstances he probably should have broached the subject before now, but he hadn’t thought of it.

“You didn’t.” Eddie was quick to assure him. “Hagan hassled me more than once, but you never did.”

Steve relaxed, sinking further down into Eddie’s body and pulling his arms tight around him. “I’m sorry for Tommy then, there’s a reason I stopped hanging around with him and Carol, and it wasn’t because of the monsters and shit.”

“You're not responsible for other people's shitty actions, but thanks. I don’t mind the nickname though.”

“Why?”

“For one thing it’s true. I definitely am a freak.” Steve could feel Eddie’s smirk where it was pressed to the side of his head. “And it’s a hell of a lot better than the other f-word they could call me, so I figure, why not encourage it?”

Steve tilted his head thoughtfully. It made some sense, even if he didn’t like it.

“To answer your question, my dad travels a lot for work. He’s gone anywhere from a few days to a few weeks at a time. Mom used to stay home with me when I was really little, but by the time I was 5 they were hiring sitters so she could go with him. She didn't trust that he wasn’t out cheating. From 12 on I was mostly on my own when they would leave.”

“Sounds lonely.” Eddie guessed.

Steve sighed. “I used to pretend it wasn’t, but yeah. I was definitely lonely. It didn’t matter that my life was better when they weren’t here, what with my dad being the major asshole that he is, a part of me still wanted them around. I was just a kid who needed his parents.”

Eddie shifted, kissing Steve on the back of the neck and running fingers through his hair. “I get like that sometimes too. Not that my uncle ever goes anywhere, he just works nights, and with me being in school we live on opposite schedules. I know he’d be around more if he could though. We have breakfast together as often as we can. Well, breakfast for me, dinner for him, so we can keep up with what’s going on in each other's lives.”

“Why do you live with your uncle? If that’s…if you don’t mind me asking?”

“No, it’s okay, but I have to warn you that it’s not a happy story.”

Steve turned in Eddie’s lap so they were now chest to chest. He wanted to be able to see the other boy's face while he spoke.

“My dad got caught on a job. He used to steal cars for this guy who ran a chop shop in Indy. I guess he wasn’t too keen on the idea of spending another stint in prison, because he led the cops on a high speed chase that ended with him crashing in a ditch. The car flipped three times. The police report said they were killed instantly.”

“They?” Steve asked.

Eddie sighed, the sound held a strange mixture of sorrow and fondness. “My mom and dad might have been terrible parents, but they were disgustingly in love with each other. She rode with him on a lot of jobs. He called her his look-out, but I think they mostly just didn't like to be apart. It’s kind of fucked up to say, because it left me an orphan, but I always thought she was probably happy that they went out together. I got Wayne out of the deal though. He stepped up and took care of me, loved me like I was his own.”

Steve squeezed Eddie as tight as he could, burying his face in his neck. “Jesus, Eddie. I’m so sorry. I feel terrible for complaining about my own parents.”

“No, Stevie, don't do that. It’s not a competition for who had the saddest childhood, and someone else’s experience doesn’t make your own any less important.”

“Stevie?” It made him feel warm all over, and he couldn’t resist rubbing his lips over Eddie’s pulse point.

Eddie chuckled. “Is that all you got out of that?”

“No, I think I get it.” Steve did get it, and he was touched that Eddie wanted to make sure he knew his troubles were just as important as anyone else’s, but the pet name was really doing something for him, and now he was distracted with tasting the skin of Eddie’s throat. He didn’t want to talk anymore.

Eddie sucked in a breath as Steve caught his earlobe between his teeth. “Really liked that nickname, didn’t you sweetheart?”

Steve whined. It was mortifying, but he couldn't have stopped the sound from coming out of him if he tried.

“Oh, baby. I’m going to have so much fun with you.”

For what felt like hours, the two of them did nothing except make out. Steve desperately wanted to let his hands wander, to feel every inch of the other boy under his fingertips. The problem was, every time things got a little too heated, Eddie pulled back. Steve didn’t really want to push, he wouldn’t want to rush Eddie into anything he wasn’t into, or ready for, but he strongly suspected it was being done for his benefit.

The next time Eddie put a stop to things, Steve studied his face. His eyes held the same heat Steve knew was reflected in his own. They were both more than half hard, had been for a while, and there was no hiding it when they were all but lying on top of eachother.

Steve smiled, tucking a stray hair behind Eddie’s ear. “Why do you keep doing that?”

“Doing what?”

“Eddie…” Steve teased.

Eddie leaned up, pulling Steve with him so that they were sitting next to each other, and took his hand. “This is new for you, right?”

“I guess, technically.”

Eddie squeezed his eyes shut, as if even he didn’t like what he was about to say. “Are you sure you’re even really gay, or bi, or whatever?”

Steve wasn’t offended, he could understand Eddie's hesitation, even if it was a little ridiculous seeing as they had already spent quite some time with their tongues down each other's throats.

He cupped Eddie’s face and swiped a thumb across his cheek, encouraging him to open his eyes. “I don’t think I really care about labeling myself, at least for now, but yes, I'm sure. I know how I feel.”

Eddie blew out a long breath. “I’m sorry, I just don’t want to freak you out or scare you off.“

Steve gathered up a little of his old cocky King-Steve confidence, and swung a leg over Eddie, straddling him.

“Do I look freaked out?” He asked, grinding down lightly into Eddie’s lap.

Eddie groaned, surging up to capture Steve’s lips with his own. He gripped him firmly by the hips and pulled him down hard, pressing their dicks together through the thin fabric of their sweatpants. Steve whimpered. He was painfully hard and aching, he knew if they kept going he could absolutely get off like this, rutting up against Eddie while they explored each other's mouths, but he wanted to try something.

Steve slid down Eddie’s body, sinking to kneel in front of him on the floor. Eddie tried to hold him in place at first, until he realized what Steve intended to do.

“Can I?” Steve asked, hooking his thumbs into Eddie’s waistband on either side.

“Fuck.” Eddie gasped, looking down at Steve like he couldn't believe this was real. He nodded, adding his hands to Steve’s, helping to push the pants down around his ankles.

Steve pushed lightly at Eddie's knees to part his thighs, allowing better access. His mouth began to water at the sight of Eddie’s hard length, red at the tip and leaking pre-come. His want for this boy was so strong that for a moment, Steve forgot to be nervous, forgot that he’s never done this before.

His lips parted as he leaned in, tongue darting out to lap at the head of Eddie’s cock. The taste was salty and a little bitter, but Steve discovered that not only did he not mind, he liked it. He moaned, sinking down to take the first few inches of Eddie's dick fully into his mouth.

Almost immediately Eddie’s legs began to shake. Steve looked up at him through his eyelashes, while bobbing his head at a slow pace, eager to see on the other boy’s face just how much this was affecting him.

Eddie’s lip was caught between his teeth, and his pupils were so blown-out that it made his eyes look black. He was panting, and his hand hovered a few inches away from the back of Steve's head, unsure of its welcome.

The thought of Eddie forcing his head down, and maybe making him choke in the process was not something Steve would have ever guessed to be a turn on for him, but fuck if the idea didn’t make his eyes roll back a little. He palmed himself through his pants, desperate for friction and a little relief.

He tested it out himself first, taking more and more of Eddie down his throat until he hit the back of it. He choked a little but didn’t gag, and that was all he really needed to know. He reached out for Eddie’s hand and placed it on the back of his head, hopeful that he would understand what Steve wanted.

Eddie wove his fingers into Steve's hair and gripped it tight, guiding him up and down on his cock. He hummed his approval, the vibration making Eddie moan and his breath stutter. Steve continued to rub himself through his sweats but it wasn’t enough. He shoved the front of his pants down letting his own cock spring free, and began to stroke himself in time with the bouncing of his head.

As Eddie quickened his pace and started to give shallow thrusts up into his mouth, Steve learned to relax his throat. He enjoyed the way he was not only pleasuring his partner, but giving up control to him too. It felt intimate in a way that sex had never been for him before.

“Baby, I'm close.” Eddie choked out, releasing his hold on Steve's hair, giving him the opportunity to decide if he wanted to pull off, or swallow.

Steve had been on the receiving end of enough blowjobs to know what felt good, and honestly he was so turned on by the whole thing that he couldn’t imagine letting up now. He pumped himself furiously as he hollowed his cheeks, sucking and and then swirling his tongue each time he reached the head.

Eddie tensed above him, and his cock pulsed between Steve’s lips as he came hot and thick down the back of his throat. Steve followed him over the edge straight after, his loud moans muffled in his still full mouth.

Steve eased off Eddie carefully, knowing how oversensitive it could feel after, and sat back on his heels for a minute while he relearned how to breathe.

Before he knew what was happening, Eddie had already hauled Steve up to cradle him in his lap. He tried to protest that he was a mess and there was no reason to get both of them sticky, but Eddie didn’t care. He pulled Steve to his chest and crashed their lips together, licking into his mouth like a man possessed.

Eddie broke the kiss only when they were both gasping for air. “That was the hottest thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“Really? I wasn’t sure if I'd be any good at it.” Steve admitted, suddenly feeling shy. He nuzzled the side of Eddie’s face.

“Good? Stevie, that was mind-blowing. I think you’ve ruined me for anyone else.”

They were, in fact, a mess, and eventually Eddie agreed to move, if only because Steve started complaining about his shirt sticking to his chest hair. A shower was unfortunately out of the question with the power still out, but they had two perfectly good tubs full of water upstairs.

They decided to share the one in Steve’s parents room, it was big enough to hold them both as long as they let some of the water out so that it didn’t overflow. They took turns swiping a soapy washcloth over each other's skin, giggling when they’d find the other’s ticklish spots. Steve would have liked to linger, once they were clean, to relax and float in the other boy’s arms for a while, but the water was cold enough to break them both out in goosebumps.

It was nearing dinner time when they were finally dry and dressed. It probably wouldn't have taken so long, if only they could have stopped kissing for five minutes.

Downstairs, Steve began to cook, as Eddie padded around the kitchen, lighting every candle he could find as the room grew dark. Steve knew it was their only form of lighting, but it also set an undeniably romantic atmosphere, and he had to remind himself more than once not to fall too hard, or too fast.

Because he didn’t know what this was, this thing between him and Eddie. Was it just a fling, or an extended one night stand? The last thing Steve needed was to get his heart stomped on again by a pretty brunette with curls, but he was afraid it might already be too late to protect himself from that.

It didn’t help matters much that Eddie kept wrapping himself around Steve from behind as he stirred a pot of sauce, whispering in his ear about how gorgeous he looked when he flaunted his prowess in the kitchen. All he could do was hope that Eddie wanted to keep him too.

They ended the night sprawled out together on Steve's bed in nothing but their underwear. The house had grown increasingly warm as the day went on, but it was still raining too hard to open the windows. The heat didn’t stop Eddie from wanting to cuddle though, a fact which Steve was both grateful for and wary of. How would he ever be able to sleep alone again after spending two nights wrapped up in Eddie Munson? He should have put himself out of his misery and just asked Eddie what they were, what he wanted, but he couldn’t make his mouth form the words. Instead he turned, giving Eddie his back and finally fulfilling his dream of falling asleep as the little spoon.

Steve woke up first, happy to find Eddie's arms still wound tightly around him. He wondered what had disturbed him, thinking vaguely that he might have heard something like a car door slam in the distance, but the weight of Eddie's body collapsed halfway on top of his, was enough to dissuade him from investigating.

He had almost fallen back asleep when his bedroom door burst open.

“What the hell, Steve!” Dustin shouted, sounding appalled and indignant.

Steve tensed, he was facing away from the door, with Eddie behind him, but there was no mistaking that voice. Eddie stirred, and Steve hastily reached down for the sheet, pulling it up over both of them. He eased himself out from under Eddie and sat up, rubbing his eyes and tried not to panic.

“Dustin, what are you doing here?” Steve groaned. He knew the moment Eddie was fully awake, as he sat up too, resting a reassuring hand on his lower back.

“The storm is over so we came back early. I made my mom drive me over to check on you, she’s waiting out in the car. I wanted to make sure you and Eddie hadn’t killed each other!”

“Clearly we’re fine, Henderson.” Eddie quipped. He was trying to sound like his normal self but Steve could feel a tension in him that mirrored his own. They had no way of knowing how Dustin would react to them.

“This is so unfair! Eddie was my friend first!. Of course you had to go and usurp me, make him your boyfriend, and now both of you will only want to spend time with each other and you won’t hang out with me at all!”

Steve turned bright red at the word boyfriend, and had never wished harder that he had locked his fucking bedroom door. He looked at the kid and sighed heavily. “Can you at least get out so I can get dressed and then we’ll talk?”

“Fine.” Dustin said, stomping his feet like a toddler on his way out to the hall.

Steve glanced at Eddie. His eyes were soft, concern coloring his features. He didn’t know what to say or how to apologize for this. He felt like it was his fault that they got caught in such a compromising position.

“Do you want me to come with you?” Eddie offered.

“No, I got it.”

Now fully clothed, Steve stepped out to meet Dustin, leaving the door open just a crack behind him.

The kid didn’t give him a single second to try and explain before launching into interrogation mode.

“Is this why you wouldn’t Date Robin? Steve, are you gay?”

He could faintly hear Eddie snort from the other room.

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose. “I won’t date Robin because we don’t feel that way about each other, we have both told you this.”

“But you do feel that way about Eddie?”

Steve bit his lip, knowing Eddie could hear every word they were saying. “Yea, I do. I’m sorry if that’s weird for you.”

“It’s a little weird, but not because you’re both boys.”

Steve was simultaneously relieved and confused. It was too early in the morning for this shit. “What’s weird about it then?”

“I’m just kinda surprised he’d go for you, to be honest. I mean, he’s so cool and you’re, like, our mom.”

Steve scowled as Eddie cackled from behind the door. He grabbed Dustin by the arm and marched him down the stairs, all the way to the front door.

He stopped before opening it, making sure his face showed how serious he was about this. “Can you promise me you’ll keep it to yourself? Hawkins is not really the safest place to be out, and it’s… really new.”

Dustin sobered, all kidding aside for the moment, and nodded. “Don’t worry, I won't tell anyone. You two can do that when you’re ready.”

“Thanks, buddy.” Steve ruffled the boy’s hair and gave him a playful yet firm shove out the door.

“You promise you’ll both still hang out with me?” Dustin yelled over his shoulder, halfway down the front steps.

“I promise. Now go, don’t keep your mother waiting. I’ll stop over later.”

Steve waited until Dustin was safely back in the car before shutting the door and heading back upstairs. He was nervous to face Eddie after everything Dustin had said. Panicked that his use of the word boyfriend would scare Eddie off.

All of the apologies he had at the ready died on his tongue the second he reentered the bedroom. Eddie leapt from the bed, quickly pulling him into his arms and kissing him deeply.

“So, boyfriend. Which do you think Dusty’s gonna be more mad about in the end, us dating, or me knowing about the Upside-Down?”

Steve grinned so wide his face hurt.

“Definitely the boyfriend thing.”

Tagging as many of my pt .1 rebloggers as I can 💜

@steddierthings @every-aj-needs-an-angel @kas-eddie-munson @haircarebfs @penny00dreadful @corrodedbisexual @connected-dots-st-reblogger @bat-outta-hel @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @manda-panda-monium @wrayofmoonshine @stedumpsterfire @archimedes11 @estrellami-1 @pinkdaisies1998 @cam-cat-writer @current-steddie-brainrot @nebulousboundsfloof @notegwy @didyoujustsaydidhejustsaydragon @pxningfo0l @seths-rogens @idea-less-author @poguestyleskye @gregre369 @pjoneedstherapy @nightmareglitter @berenwrites @multimediawhxre @bennys-burgers @7shrewsinatrenchcoat

#lexssummerfanworkschallenge #steddie fanfic #steve harrington #eddie munson #dustin henderson #stranger things #steddie #steve x eddie #steve harrington/eddie munson #ao3 link

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supernovaslut · 1 year

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TRACK 2: OVER MY HEAD

Joel Miller x OC

Word Count: 9.2k

Warnings: MDNI, cursing, canon typical violence, guns, men being men, emotional unavailability, minor character deaths, tragic backstory™

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“You can take me to paradise

And then again you can be cold as ice

I'm over my head (Over my head)

Oh, but it sure feels nice.”

“How much longer?” Ellie groans as the trio hike through the forest, sunlight filtering through the trees, giving the area a calming glow. They’ve been hiking all morning, and Ellie is getting sick of how silent it is with Rhia and Joel refusing to speak to each other.

“’Bout 5 hours,” Rhia and Joel say at the same time.

They glare at each other until Ellie speaks up, “We can manage that.”

Rhia smiles at Ellie, then stomps ahead, passing Joel without so much as a glance. They walk for another hour or so, making it onto an actual road and out of the forest.

“You've gone this way a lot? No Infected?” Ellie asks the childish adults, hoping to spark conversation.

“Not often, no,” Joel says curtly, scanning the edges of the forest as Rhia keeps an eye on their six.

“What are you looking out for?” Ellie asks them.

“People,” Rhia replies, her voice flat and serious.

“Oh,” Ellie says, then, “Are Bill and Frank nice?”

“Frank is,” Joel answers.

Rhia smiles back at her, “You’re gonna love Bill.”

“Is he cool?” Ellie asks.

Rhia laughs, “I don’t know if ‘cool’ is the word I’d use.”

Rhia hasn’t spoken to Bill and Frank in months. It was getting harder to do much of anything since her cat died and she was left alone. Again. She has to apologize when she gets there, Rhia thinks, maybe she should have brought a peace offering, too.

“How'd you get that scar on your head?” Ellie asks, which brings Rhia back to attention. She realizes Ellie is asking Joel, but the phantom sting on her eyebrow answers all the same.

“What? Is it something lame? Like you fell down the stairs or something?” Ellie asks again when Joel doesn’t answer.

“I didn't fall down any stairs,” Joel says after a sigh.

“Okay, so what then?”

Rhia shakes her head at the pair. She had asked Joel this same question before and already knows the evasive story he is telling Ellie now.

· · ─────── ·⌖· ─────── · ·

*4 ½ Years Ago*

“The deal was I help you out and you tell me what you find,” Rhia said, pushing a finger in Bill’s face. The pair were standing in the dining room of Bill’s house, Rhia incensed, hair loose and wild and jumping with her movements while Bill watched stiff and emotionless as always.

They heard a creak in the floorboards and Rhia turned around to see Joel entering the house. Rhia froze, getting a good look at him after 6 months. He was wearing a flannel similar to the last time she’d seen him, but his hair had a touch more silver in it, his beard recently trimmed. She hadn’t had a welcoming first impression from the man, but she couldn’t deny how handsome he was. She thought that maybe the grumpy demeanor was part of the appeal.

“Oh, good. You’re here,” Bill said, stepping away from Rhia.

“Tess here?” Rhia asked, looking past Joel.

“I told you I’d do this alone,” Joel said to Bill, ignoring Rhia.

“And I’d like to ensure that I get my truck back in one piece, so Rhia’s goin’ with you,” Bill said.

“Like hell.” “I think the fuck not,” Joel and Rhia said at the same time.

Frank walked in, carrying a bag of what Rhia guessed was produce from the garden. “Oh, Joel, you made it,” he smiled, setting the bag on the table, “You two heading out soon?” He looked between Rhia and Joel smiling. He knew the two couldn’t stand each other, but he had a feeling the two would one day come to realize how alike they truly were.

“I don’t want to spend 20 minutes with the man, let alone 20 hours. Let him go alone. I have nothing in this, anyway,” Rhia shrugged, grabbing her backpack.

“I guess you don’t really want to find them, then,” Bill said, making Rhia freeze in her tracks. Joel looked between the two, curiosity and suspicion weighing down the center of his brows.

“If I go, you’ll help?” Rhia asked, turning to Bill.

He nodded.

Rhia groaned, “Fine. Let’s get this show on the road, then. I’m not driving first,” and stomped out to the truck. Joel gave Bill and Frank a look of annoyance.

“Stay safe,” Frank encouraged.

“Try not to kill each other,” Bill laughed.

Joel rolled his eyes, “I’ll remember this,” and turned, following Rhia to the car. He slid into the driver’s seat, Rhia already having made herself comfortable in the passenger seat, one foot resting on the dash.

“Take your foot off the damn dash,” Joel ordered, starting the car.

Rhia gave him a sideways glance, narrowing her eyes, before she put her other foot on the dash, keeping her eyes on Joel. He let out a deep sigh, pulling out of the driveway.

“Have fun!” Frank laughed from the gate, letting them out of the neighborhood.

Joel drove for hours. It was about a 9 hour drive to Richmond, Virginia where Bill had set up a deal with some Fireflies to trade guns for drugs to then make deals with FEDRA officers back in Boston for food stamps for Joel and Tess and whatever the hell Bill needed, Rhia hadn’t paid attention. Around and around it went and she was just along for the ride. She only needed one thing from Bill and he was gonna hang it over her head as long as he could to keep her smuggling for him.

Rhia finally got bored staring out of the window and turned to look at Joel. She examined the entire right side of him. The gray strands twisting into the dark curls of his hair, his downward sloped nose, and his stiff posture, one hand on the wheel while the other rested on the center console.

“What?” he asked, noticing her eyes on him. He’d avoided looking in her direction all morning, choosing instead to keep his eyes on the never ending roads. They hadn’t even been listening to music.

“How’d you get the scar?” Rhia asked, referring to the raised line at Joel’s temple, retreating into his hairline.

He didn’t answer.

“C’mon, old man. We’re not listening to music, we’re not talking. I spend ninety percent of my time alone, I’d like to be able to speak to the few people I do see, especially when I’m stuck alone with them for twenty hours,” Rhia huffed, crossing her arms as she fully faced him, back resting on the door.

“Stop calling me ‘old man,’” he ordered.

“Tell me how you got the scar,” Rhia countered.

He looked at her then, astonished by the gall of this little shit. Her arms were crossed tightly across her chest, the sleeves of her oversized gray Boston College sweater hiding her hands. She had pulled her hair up into a bun, loose strands framing her face where her eyebrows furrowed and her lips pressed together tightly, eyes boring into him with a challenging glare.

He turned back to the road, “Got shot. He missed.”

“That’s it?” Rhia asked, shocked, “You at least get the asshole?”

“No. I missed, too,” he said after a moment.

“Shit aim,” Rhia ribbed, earning a side-eye from Joel. She knew he wasn’t telling her the whole story for a reason, but she didn’t want to push him. She was surprised she even got as much as she did.

“I got this scar fighting another kid for a ration pack,” Rhia said after a moment, showing Joel the jagged white marks on her forearm, “I bit him, he bit back. FEDRA asshole took the pack, kept it for himself. I was so pissed at the kid until I realized it wasn’t his fault that he was hungry. It was FEDRA’s for starving us. Sometimes we take things out on the wrong people for the right reasons. I’m no pacifist, but did the guy you tried to shoot at least deserve it?”

Joel looked ahead at the road, grip tightening at the wheel, “At the time … I thought so.”

· · ─────── ·⌖· ─────── · ·

*Now*

“You know, seeing as it’s just the three of us, I was thinking I should pro…” Ellie says when Rhia tunes back in.

“No,” Joel cuts her off.

Rhia rolls her eyes, “Why not? I had my own gun younger than her.”

“Really?!” Ellie asks excitedly, “That’s sick!”

Joel turns to Rhia, noticing the vacant look in her eyes, the shake in her breath—until she straightens up and shakes her head, saying, “On second thought, Joel’s right. You don’t need one.”

“What?!” Ellie exclaims, disappointed, looking between Joel and Rhia.

Rhia chuckles, “Don’t worry, kid. You’ve got us.”

Ellie sighs dramatically. They come upon a dilapidated building and Rhia recognizes it as one of Joel’s stashes.

“Cumberland Farms,” Ellie reads the crumbling sign.

“Hang back a minute,” Joel says to the girls as he pulls ahead towards the building, “Gotta grab some stuff I stashed.”

“Stashed? Why do you have stuff stashed here?” Ellie asks, following him. Rhia takes another look around them, ensuring they’re all clear, before following as well.

“You ask a lot of goddamn questions,” Joel grumbles. “Yes, I do,” Ellie nods. “So, are either of you gonna answer me or what?” She looks to Rhia, already knowing after less than 24 hours that she is far softer than Joel. Still a bit of a brick wall, Ellie notes, but who isn’t in this world?

“We hide supplies on routes in case we find ourselves short on gear,” Rhia answers as she enters.

“Which I currently am 'cause,” Joel starts until Ellie cuts him off, running to a broken down Mortal Kombat arcade machine.

“No way! You ever play this one? I had a friend who knew everything about this game. There's this one character named Mileena who takes off her mask and she has monster teeth, and then she swallows you whole and barfs out your bones!” Ellie sighs deeply, feeling the buttons, “Oh, man.”

“Forget the spot?” Rhia asks, sitting on the countertop island in the center of the room. She watches Joel kick debris around in search of his hiding spot.

“No. I'm just zeroing in on it. It's been a couple of years,” he denies, giving Rhia a sassy look. He knows that she knows damn well the last time he was there because she was with him.

“Okay, well, I'm gonna take a look around, see if there's anything good,” Ellie pipes up from across the room, realizing Rhia and Joel wouldn’t notice her stepping away with their attention so focused on each other. For people that claim to hate each other, they can’t seem to leave each other alone, Ellie thinks, theories filling her mind.

“Trust me, it's all been picked over already,” Joel warns, kicking the wall.

“Maybe, maybe not,” Ellie replies, walking to a different room, “Is there anything bad in here?”

“Just you,” Joel quips, still searching.

“Ah. Getting funnier.”

Ellie disappears around the corner and Rhia watches the doorway for a moment before turning to Joel when he utters a quiet,

“Fuck.”

“You doin’ alright there, cowboy?” Rhia asks, enjoying watching him struggle.

Joel turns to her, hands on his hips, “You could help.”

Rhia frowns in mock contemplation, tilting her head. She gets more comfortable on the table then smiles, “You got it.”

Joel rolls his eyes and continues searching, “If you just came along to give me grief the whole time, you can go back.”

Rhia scoffs, “I bet you’re prayin’ I quit. I’m not going anywhere, Joel.”

“And why not?” Joel stops his search, getting fed up with this damn woman.

Rhia stares at him for a moment, debating whether to be truthful, whether he’s earned it.

“I need to know that kid gets to where she’s going,” she finally says, standing. She’s told him her truth, but she’s lying to herself. “Why are you taking her, Joel? And I don’t wanna hear about anything Tess said.”

Joel sighs, looking anywhere but at Rhia. He may not be much of an extrovert, but Rhia had always been able to read him. It took her a while to know all of his little mannerisms as well as she does now. She knows he’s going to tell her the truth.

Joel’s mind is spinning. Joel knows how to read people, and what he sees when he looks at Rhia is contradiction. She is half his age, yet, for as long as he’s known her, she has carried the heavy coat of grief the depth of which he’s only seen in the mirror. She is immature and petulant, but serious and adept. She is outgoing and kind, yet suspicious and guarded. A teasing smile, but darkened and weary eyes. Every time he thinks he understands her, she continues to surprise him. She did it when she chose to come this morning and she’s done it again now.

“Tommy’s somewhere in Wyoming. Marlene promised Tess and I a car so we could go find him if we brought the kid to a meeting point. Problem was, everyone was dead when we got there, so now I’m taking her to Bill to see if he can get a hold of the Fireflies,” Joel explains.

“Why didn’t you take her back to the QZ? Why did you bring her with you? You can try to convince yourself it’s because Tess told you or because you want to find your brother or any other righteous endeavor, but I know you better than you want me to, Joel Miller,” Rhia steps up close to Joel, their faces inches apart. She’s searching his face. For what, Joel doesn’t know, but he pulls away before she can find it.

“You don’t know a goddamn thing.”

His voice is low and gravelly and Rhia knows she’s got her foot right on the line. She steps around him, walking to the end of the aisle and stopping at a shelf. She turns to Joel, making sure he’s watching as she stomps lightly, the floor beneath her giving a hollow sound.

“I just want to know which version of you I’m getting for this run,” she says innocently, stepping back so he can access the hatch.

He slowly approaches her, looking down to the hatch and back up to her face, another contradiction. Her tone tells him she’s apathetic, but her eyes are wide and hopeful. He used to think she was a sheep in wolf’s clothing, but he’s learned better than that over the years.

“I’m taking her because I need to know that she gets to where she’s going,” Joel echoes her response, a hint of something in his eyes that Rhia thought she’d never see again.

Joel doesn’t wait for her reply, crouching down to free the hatch. Rhia opens her mouth to speak, then stops, looking towards the dark doorway Ellie had gone through.

“Where’s Ellie?” Rhia asks as Joel takes what he needs from the stash. He stops, both of them looking to where Ellie had disappeared.

“Ellie?” Joel calls. No answer. He calls her name again. Nothing.

Joel and Rhia give each other a look, pulling out their guns in tandem as they approach the doorway, Joel taking the lead. As Joel reaches the dark entryway, peeking around, he relaxes and Rhia watches Ellie stride in.

“Picked over my ass,” Ellie scoffs, triumphantly shaking a box of tampons.

“Holy shit. You’re sharing,” Rhia gasps, earning a laugh from Ellie.

Joel shakes his head and goes back to the stash, sticking the rifle he’d been carrying into the hole.

“What are you doing?” Ellie asks.

“There's not much ammo out there for this thing. Makes it mostly useless,” Joel replies, closing the hole and standing.

“Well, if you're just gonna leave it there …”

“No,” Rhia and Joel reply in tandem as they exit the store. This time, they don’t acknowledge it.

They hike in a newly comfortable silence … that is until Ellie speaks up.

“Holy shit.”

Joel and Rhia turn their heads and slow to a stop as they see the remains of an airplane, mostly reclaimed by nature after twenty years.

“You guys fly in one of those?” Ellie asks in wonder.

“A few times, sure,” Joel says, humored by the kid.

“Once,” Rhia smiles sadly. Joel notices the softness in her tone and her distant gaze. A memory of firelight and auburn hair flashes in his mind.

“So lucky,” Ellie sighs as she looks at the plane, imagining what it is to fly.

“Didn't feel like it at the time. Get shoved into a middle seat, pay 12 bucks for a sandwich,” Joel says, shrugging. Rhia nods, chuckling, and, to his surprise, Joel feels proud to have caused it.

“Dude, you got to go up in the sky,” Ellie said in amazement.

“Yeah, well, so did they,” Joel rebuked, humor gone.

He and Rhia walk off as Ellie mutters a quiet “Grim,” following.

“So,everything came crashing down in one day?” Ellie asks, walking between Rhia and Joel.

“Pretty much,” Rhia shrugs.

“How?” Ellie asks, confused and curious, “I mean … no one was infected with Cordyceps, everybody’s fine, eating in restaurants and flying in planes. And then, all at once? How did it even start? If you have to get bit to be infected, then who bit the first person? Was it a monkey? I bet it was a monkey.”

“It wasn’t a monkey,” Rhia laughs.

“I thought you went to school,” Joel mocks.

“FEDRA school,” Ellie replies matter-of-factly, “They don't teach us how their shitty government failed to prevent a pandemic.”

Rhia and Joel look at each other, then Joel sighs, giving up.

“No one knows for sure,” he starts, “but, best guess … Cordyceps mutated. And some of it got into the food supply. Probably a basic ingredient like flour or sugar. There were certain brands of food that were sold everywhere, all across the country, across the world. Bread, cereal …” He pauses, “pancake mix.”

Rhia picks up for him, “You eat enough of it, it’ll get you infected. So, the tainted food all hits the store shelves around the same time, Thursday. People bought it, ate some Thursday night or Friday morning. Day goes on … they started to get sick. Afternoon, evening, they got worse …” Rhia trails off.

“Then they started bitin’. Friday night, September 26, 2003. And by Monday, everything was gone,” Joel finishes.

Ellie watches her haunted guardians as they speak, their faraway looks. She may be young, but she, too, understands how much death can weigh.

“It makes more sense than monkeys,” she tells them, “Thanks.”

Rhia gives her a pained smile as Joel stiffly replies, “Sure.”

He stops them, then, gazing out across the fields. Rhia knows what he’s thinking.

“What?” Ellie asks.

“We’ll cut across the woods here,” Joel points.

“Isn’t the road easier?” Ellie asks.

“Yeah, it's just... There's stuff up there you shouldn’t see,” Joel says evasively.

“Well, now I have to see,” Ellie says.

“I don’t want you to,” Joel orders as Ellie walks off, “Serious. Ellie!”

“Can it hurt me?” Ellie calls back.

“No,” Joel answers truthfully which earns a humorous sigh from Rhia.

“You’re too honest, man. Should’ve said ax murderer,” Ellie laughs. She looks around as she walks, Joel and Rhia following.

“Uh … whatever it was … think it’s gone.” She stops, her gaze falling on the pit of bones and personal effects.

Rhia and Joel stop beside her, the latter speaking up, “About a week after Outbreak Day, soldiers … went through the countryside, evacuated the small towns. Told you you were goin’ to a QZ, and you were … if there was room. If there wasn’t …” He trails off.

“These people weren’t sick?” Ellie asks, a twinge of anger in her voice.

“No, probably not,” Rhia shakes her head.

“Why kill them? Why not just leave ’em be?” Ellie asks sadly.

Joel answers somberly, “Dead people can’t be infected.”

Ellie looks to Rhia, and the woman turns away, the teen’s pleading eyes reminding her of her own, so many years ago.

· · ─────── ·⌖· ─────── · ·

*September 26, 2003*

The sun set over the forested mountains of Tennessee, the Wynn family settling in for dinner in their stilted cabin. 8-year-old Rhiannon watched the planes soar overhead from her bedroom window. She’d never seen so many in one day, though the whole day seemed to be out of the ordinary.

She’d counted 17 ambulances and 8 fire trucks on the drive home from school. Her sister, Stevie, winded through the hills up to their home carefully to keep out of their way. She’d just gotten her license that morning and proudly showed it off to her little sister when she’d picked her up.

“Woah! You really did it!” Rhia had exclaimed, examining the license.

“Oh, you thought I’d fail?” Stevie laughed, flicking her eyes between her sister and the road.

“Daddy said you were an ‘accident waiting to happen’, but I think you were an accident 16 years ago,” Rhia joked, smiling mischievously at Stevie who gasped, feigning hurt.

“Damn, Ri. Guess this accident isn’t driving you to Dollywood tomorrow,” Stevie shrugged, an exaggerated sigh leaving her lips.

Rhia’s eyes widened and she turned in her seat, leaning over the center console, “Dollywood?! I wanna go! Stevie, please. I’m sorry! You’re a great driver. Pleaaaase!”

“Okay, Okay!” Stevie laughed, gently pushing Rhia back into her seat, “You win. Settle down.”

“Rhia! Stevie! Time for dinner,” their mother called, snapping Rhia out of the memory.

“Coming!” she heard Stevie call. Rhia exited her room, following her sister down the stairs to the dining table. It was set for 4, yet their father was nowhere in sight.

“Where’s dad?” Stevie asked, sitting at the table.

Mom sighed, shaking her head, “I don’t know. He hasn’t answered my calls. He’s probably caught up in traffic from whatever’s goin’ on in town.” She looked at the door, then back at her kids. “Sit down. Eat. He can warm up his dinner later.”

The sisters sat, piling their plate with bread and meat and vegetables. Rhia went to take a bite of bread when they all heard a bang at the door. Rhia jumped, dropping the bread on her plate. She turned around as her mother walked to the door slowly.

Another bang and then jiggling at the handle. Rhia looked to Stevie who watched the door curiously. Their mother got closer and closer to the door, until—

Bang! The door swung open, slamming against the wall as a man stumbled in, holding a hand to his shoulder.

“Dad?” Stevie questioned, standing.

“Dear?!” her mother exclaimed, going to help her husband to stand. “What happened?” She walked him to the couch, sitting him down and looking over his disheveled body.

Stevie and Rhia rushed over, watching from beside the couch as their father panted, “We need to leave. Charlotte, help the girls pack. Only the essentials.”

“Rhys, what the hell are you goin’ on about? What happened to you?” Charlotte asked frantically, examining the wound he’d been covering. It looked like a bite mark. “Who did this to you?”

“Daddy?” Rhia asked softly, worry in her voice.

Charlotte looked at her daughters, hoping she didn’t show them as much fear as she felt. “You heard your father. Stevie, take Rhia upstairs. Help her pack a bag,” she ordered. Stevie nodded, taking Rhia by the hand and leading her upstairs.

When they were out of sight, Rhys grabbed his wife by the shoulders, leaning forward, “Charlotte. It’s madness out there. Some sort of disease. I don’t know.”

“Honey, you’re not making sense, and you’re scarin’ the kids. Hell, you’re scarin’ me!”

“You need to listen to me!” Rhys bellowed, shaking her, “Folks are attacking each other. I saw Raymond at the gas station getting his neck torn out by some old lady. Tried to help him and he turned on me. That’s how I got this.” He motioned to the bite on his arm.

Charlotte shook her head, “What the hell, Rhys? Is this to do with all the commotion in town? The riots on the news?”

“Yes,” Rhys nodded, then winced in pain, “Everyone’s lost their minds and we need to get out of here.”

“Why leave? We’re in the mountains. Almost an hour away from town,” Charlotte asked, helping Rhys stand.

He stumbled towards the stairs, “It’s not safe here. It’s not safe anywhere.”

“Then where do you suppose we go? Huh?” Charlotte stopped at the base of the stairs, trying to talk sense into her husband, “I’m not gonna pack the kids up and freak them out for nothin’. Where are we gonna go?”

Rhys sighed, sitting on the stairs. He shook his head, the horrors from town replaying in his mind, “I don’t know, Char. I just know that sooner or later, they’re gonna start coming up the mountain. Whether it’s to hide or kill, I don’t wanna be here for ’em.”

Just then, the tv turned blue and a National Emergency Alert came on, the siren blaring through the house. Charlotte looked to Rhys, who stared blankly at the wall.

She took a shaky breath and scrunched her eyes closed before nodding, “Alright. I’ll pack the bags. Can you bandage that yourself and meet us at the car?”

Rhys nodded, “Yeah. I can do that. Hurry.” Charlotte casted one last worried look at her husband before bounding up the stairs and straight to Rhia’s room where Stevie was helping shove her clothes into a backpack.

“Mom? What’s going on?” Stevie asked, stopping. Rhia sat on the bed, fearfully clutching a stuffed giraffe.

Their mother looked between her daughters, wishing she could ease their fears and kiss them goodnight like any other day, but she knew they would not be coming back to this house again.

“We’re going on a road trip. Pack warm clothes and sneakers … like when we went to Washington to go hiking in the parks. Remember, Rhia?” She looked to her Rhia who nodded, a spark of hope in her eyes.

Charlotte smiled sadly, “Gonna be just like that, okay?”

“Can I bring my stuffies?” Rhia asked, looking at her mountain of stuffed plushies in the corner of her room then back at her mother, searching for comfort her mother cannot give.

Charlotte held the tears back and shook her head, “You can’t, sweetie … but you can pick one. Just one.” Rhia frowned, then held her giraffe closer. “Okay,” Charlotte nodded, “Stevie, when you’re both ready, go downstairs and pack a bag of food and water. Only pick stuff that won’t perish, okay?”

Stevie nodded, catching the weight of her mother’s fear so her sister wouldn’t have to. Their mother left them to go pack and Rhia looked up at her sister who stood frozen and staring at the empty doorway.

“Stevie? I’m scared. What’s happening?” Rhia asked, tears welling up in her eyes as she hugged her giraffe tighter.

Stevie winced and put a hand on her sister’s head, “I know you’re scared, but mommy and daddy need us to be strong, okay? I don’t know what’s happening, but whatever it is, we’re gonna be okay. I promise.” Rhia nodded, wiping her tears away.

The sisters grabbed their bags and headed downstairs where they packed up a backpack of food and water. Stevie tossed in the first aid bag from under the sink as well. We won’t need it, she thought, but just in case.

“Girls? You ready?” Charlotte asked as she sped down the stairs, bat in hand.

“What’s with the bat?” Stevie asked.

Charlotte looked at the bat like she didn’t even know she was holding it, “Just in case.”

“Just in case of what, mom? You haven’t told us what’s going on,” Stevie protested.

“Nothing. Let’s go. Your father’s waiting for us in the car,” Charlotte dismissed. The siblings followed their mother out the door and down the driveway where the car sat running, their father in the driver’s seat.

“Rhys, open the trunk!” Charlotte called out as they approached.

Nothing happened.

“Rhys, come on!” She banged on the window of the trunk. Still nothing. Charlotte looked through the window to see Rhys just sitting there, unmoving.

“Stay here,” she ordered her daughters, handing them her bags and the bat. She approached the driver’s door, seeing Rhys look dazed and empty eyed.

She called his name, hoping to get his attention. When he didn’t react, she opened the door. At the sound, Rhys turned, his eyes milky and devoid of consciousness, dark veins crawling up his skin. He snarled and launched at his wife, toppling her to the ground, teeth clacking together as he tried to bite her. She yelped, begging him to stop as she held him back with her arms.

“Mom!” Stevie yelled, running over and smacking her father in the head with the bat.

He flew off of Charlotte and Stevie dropped the bat, freezing in place as she said in horror, “Oh, my god. Oh, my god. What did I do? Dad?!” She took a step towards him as he shuffled on the ground, his limbs moving in odd directions.

Charlotte held Stevie back, “No! Stay away from him. Something’s wro-”

Before she could finish, Rhys launched at her from behind, sinking his teeth into the flesh of her shoulder. She screamed in pain, turning her body and slamming back into the side of the car, holding him down.

“Get in the car! Now!” she yelled. Stevie stayed frozen in her spot, “Stevie, now! Get Rhia!”

At the mention of her baby sister, Stevie snapped back to attention, turning to where Rhia stood surrounded by their stuff, crying.

“What’s wrong with daddy?” Rhia cried as Stevie picked her up, running to the other side of the car and opening the back door.

“Don’t look, Rhia. Just stay down,” Stevie instructed, tossing the bags in with Rhia and slamming the door.

Stevie ran around the car again just as Charlotte slammed Rhys into the side of it again. He released her shoulder and she crumbled to her knees.

“Mom?!” Stevie asked, not getting too close.

“Get in the fucking car, Stephanie!” Charlotte yelled, grabbing the bat and swinging it at her husband’s head. She screamed as she bashed her husband’s head in. Screams turned into sobs, tears mixing with the blood of the love of her life, dead at her hand. She stumbled to her feet, holding a hand to her shoulder. She dropped the bat and got into the driver’s seat.

“What happened to dad?” Stevie asked from beside her.

“Mommy? Where’s daddy?” Rhia quietly muttered from the backseat. Stevie hadn’t let her look out the window.

Charlotte ignored her children, putting the car in drive and taking them away from home forever.

After about an hour of silence, Rhia had fallen asleep. Stevie reached back for one of the bags, keeping her eyes on her mother’s wound. She took the first aid kit out of the backpack, opening it up and taking out a mini hydrogen peroxide spray bottle.

“Don’t waste it, Stephanie,” Charlotte instructed, pushing Stevie’s hand away when she tried to clean her wound.

“It’s gonna get infected, mom,” she protested. Charlotte let out a shaky breath, tears spilling down her cheeks, “I think it already is.”

Stevie paled, “What are you talking about?”

Charlotte sighed, pulling over when she felt they were far away enough from civilization, deep in the mountains, “Your father had a bite like this … and then he … became whatever it is he became. It’s gonna happen to me, too.”

“No,” Stevie shook her head, tears flooding her eyes again, “No. You don’t know that.”

“I do. Honey, I do. I can already feel it. I can’t put you and your sister in danger like this.” “No. Mom. No,” Stevie cried as her mother opened the door and stepped out.

“Take care of your sister. Never, ever leave her, okay?”

“Mom, plea-”

“Promise me, Stevie!” Charlotte cut her off, “Promise me you’ll stay together. No matter what.”

Stevie got out of the car, circling it to stand in front of her mother. She was as tall as her mother, having grown a few more inches over the summer. She remembered being as small as Rhia, looking up to her mother as this untouchable, giant goddess. Now she can see the top of her head. The illusion is over and her mother is only human. In this moment, they are equals.

She stared at the spreading infection on her mother’s shoulder for a long while before she managed to choke out, “I promise.”

Charlotte nodded, “Good.” She looked at her sleeping daughter in the backseat, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, but you have to be strong. Whatever’s going on out there, whatever happens … I love you both so much. So did your father.”

Rhia slowly came to in the backseat, groggily looking towards the front of the car to where she expected her mom and sister to be. When they weren’t there, she sat up, finding them when she looked out the window.

“Mommy?” Rhia asked, her voice muffled through the door.

Her mother looked at her, placing a hand on the glass, then turned to Stevie again, “Head north. Find somewhere safe. Only trust each other.”

“Mom, I don’t know what to do. I … I only just got my license. I can’t-”

“You can, Stevie. You can, and you shouldn’t have to, but you need to.”

“I can’t do this alone, mom, please!” Stevie cried.

She held her hands, examining the face of her daughter one last time, “You have to. I love you. Your dad and I will always be with you. Always.” She slowly backed away.

“Mommy? What’s happening, Stevie? Where’s mommy going?!” Rhia asked, pressing her cheek to the window to see her mother.

“Go,” their mother ordered, “Stevie, go!”

Stevie numbly turned around and got into the driver’s seat. She put the car in drive. “No!” Rhia screamed as they pulled away, banging on the window, trying to reach her mother’s retreating form, “No! Mommy! Stop! Mommy, please! Stevie, stop! We can’t leave her! Mommy!”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” Stevie muttered to her sobbing sister over and over again like a mantra, driving away and not daring to look back at her mother in fear that she’d turn back around. She was only a child, now forced to be both mother and father in a crumbling world.

Charlotte watched her daughters drive away, an odd twitch beginning in her arms and head. When her children were safe and out of view, their mother sat in the empty road, muttered a prayer to a god who never listens, and let the infection take over.

· · ─────── ·⌖· ─────── · ·

*4 ½ Years Ago*

Rhia slept peacefully in the truck, curled up against the door … until she was roughly shaken awake.

“We’re here,” Joel said, turning off the car.

Rhia groaned, opening her eyes, “You’re a dick.” She exited the car, grabbing her backpack from the foot well and following him to the truck bed where they unloaded the cargo.

“I can drive back since you drove the whole way here,” Rhia offered, closing the door with her foot.

“No need,” Joel said curtly, walking off to the meeting point.

“What? You don’t trust me? Don’t think I’m a good driver?” Rhia asked, offended.

Joel huffed, “Well, I know you definitely never got a license.”

“Well, I’m so sorry the fucking world ended before I got the chance to,” Rhia scoffed.

Joel ignored her and walked ahead to where the Fireflies stood waiting with their cargo. Rhia was getting real sick of being ignored and belittled by this pretentious fuck.

“Miller. Who’s the girl?” the man Rhia assumed was the leader said.

“Nobody. Let’s get this over with, Carson,” Joel replied, dropping the crate on the floor between them.

Rhia glared at Joel before turning to the Fireflies with a smile, “Rhiannon. Nice to meet y’all.”

The man, Carson, ignored her, focusing on Joel, “This is less than Bill and I talked about.”

“Yeah, well, more’s gonna cost ya,” Joel said nonchalantly, face void of emotion.

“This is what it should cost,” Carson said, looking down at Joel. “Not anymore,” Joel replied, not feeling threatened. Rhia could have laughed at how Carson attempted to intimidate Joel, using his height over her partner to no avail. Joel was immovable, untouchable. She wasn’t scared of the Firefly’s temperament with Joel at her side. Carson gave in, sighing and nodding to his lackeys to hand over the goods.

As Joel packed the crates in the truck bed, Rhia grabbed the last crate from the leader.

“So, where’d you come from?” he asked, looking her up and down. “Oh, just a few hours away in a little town called Nunya,” Rhia scoffed.

His lip twitched in annoyance, grabbing her arm when she made to walk away.

Just as Rhia opened her mouth to tell him off, Joel called out, “Rhia! Let’s go!”

Rhia ripped her arm from Carson, walking over to the truck. All the while, Joel stared Carson down, arms crossed and eyes narrowed as Rhia closed the trunk and spun around, joining Joel in his staredown. Mirror images of each other.

Carson looked between the duo and laughed, “’Till next time, Joel. Rhiannon.”

· · ─────── ·⌖· ─────── · ·

They were two hours into the excruciatingly long drive back to Bill’s when Rhia broke the unofficial silent treatment they were giving each other.

“You know, I didn’t need your help back there.”

Joel scoffed, “You were about to get yourself shot. Again.”

“You know, if you stopped treating me like I’m just arm candy, maybe they would, too,” Rhia rebuked, glaring at him.

“Oh, so it’s my fault?” Joel asked sarcastically.

“Well, it sure as hell ain’t mine,” Rhia pursed her lips, “You don’t treat Tess like this.”

“Tess can handle herself, unlike you.”

“Well, how the hell am I supposed to prove that I can if you don’t give me the chance? Huh?!” Rhia exclaimed, absolutely in awe of how little he thought of her, “Don’t even trust me to drive.” She let out a cynical laugh at the thought.

“I’m a great driver,” she muttered, hugging her knees and looking out the window, “My sister taught me.”

Joel froze. She’d never mentioned her sister before, and, in this world, it wasn’t hard for him to guess why. Their argument ended there, but Joel spent the next two hours thinking about the girl sleeping beside him.

He had a hard time admitting to himself that she was right. He was treating her as a hindrance instead of a partner, but he didn’t need a partner. It was hard enough for him to let Tess just past the stony front, but not much farther. It didn’t make sense to him that this young, reckless, beautiful woman could get under his skin so quickly. He shook away the thoughts slowly forming in his mind, thoughts he hadn’t had in a very long time.

After another hour, Joel pulled over on the side of the road. The sun had started to rise in the distance and as much as he wanted to get back to Bill’s and as far away from Rhia as possible, he couldn’t drive another second without at least getting a quick nap in. He thought of just sleeping right there and driving again when he woke up, but then he looked at Rhia and sighed deeply.

“Hey,” he said, shaking her lightly unlike earlier.

“Tired, Stevie,” Rhia mumbled. Joel’s hand hovered over her shoulder. There it was again. A small puzzle piece in the enigma that was Rhiannon.

“Rhia, wake up,” he said, shaking her again.

Rhia shot up when she heard his voice, eyes wild as she turned to him. She relaxed when she realized it was Joel. She hoped he wouldn’t ask about Stevie. He didn’t.

“You drive,” was all he said.

Rhia rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and looked at him with confusion, “What?”

“You wanna drive or not?” he asked, unbuckling his seatbelt and opening the driver door.

“Um … yeah,” she said, doing the same.

They both got out of the car and circled the front, stopping in front of each other at the hood.

“Why?” she asked, looking up at him. She was a tall woman, but he was still taller than her by at least a whole head. She thought of Stevie, then, and wondered if she was taller than her now. She couldn’t remember.

“I’m tired. We’re gonna end up in a ditch if I keep driving and I don’t wanna waste time sitting here, either,” he shrugged, looking anywhere but at her.

She narrowed her eyes, suspicion giving way to satisfaction as she nodded and passed him to get in the driver’s seat.

When they were settled in their switched spots, Rhia smiled, “You’re gonna see how great of a driver I am.”

“Don’t push it,” Joel grumbled, reclining the seat a bit farther and shutting his eyes.

Rhia chuckled and started the car, setting a steady speed down the road. She smiled proudly as she drove and didn’t notice Joel peeking at her with one eye. He stifled a smirk at her giddiness and forced himself into slumber. Only four more hours with her, he thought, Then, he’ll never have to see her again. For some reason, that thought didn’t bring him the peace of mind he’d been hoping for.

· · ─────── ·⌖· ─────── · ·

*Now*

The world is so often silent nowadays. Rhia can hear the squeak of the swinging sign before they even make it to the fence surrounding Bill and Frank’s. The world is so often silent nowadays, but this is different. This silence feels like a warning. Joel and Rhia give each other a look as they approach the fence.

“Stay there” Joel says to Ellie as Rhia punches in the door code.

Joel opens the door, letting the girls in first. They walk silently down the road, stopping in front of Bill’s house. Rhia notices the wilting flowers at the front end of the lawn. She already knows what they’re going to find inside.

She prays she’s wrong as Joel reaches for the handle. It’s gonna be locked, she thinks, It’s gonna be locked and they’re just asleep inside. The door swings open and Rhia lets out a defeated sigh.

“What the fuck?” Ellie says as they step inside.

“Bill?” Joel calls out. Nothing.

“Frank?” Rhia tries. Nothing.

Joel looks down the hall and then steps into the dining room, turning back to Ellie to say, “You stay there. Ya hear anything, you see anything … yell. Rhia, check upstairs.”

Rhia nods, ignoring the itch in her throat to tell Joel off for telling her what to do.

“What if they’re gone?” Ellie asks quietly. Joel stares at Ellie and Rhia can tell he’s trying to fight the lump forming in his throat. Ever the emotional avoider, she thinks as he walks away without a word. Ellie turns to Rhia who frowns, her eyebrows knitting together.

“Stay here,” Rhia reiterates. She turns and heads upstairs, checking each room with her gun held out in defense.

Empty. Empty. Empty. Each room looks like it hasn't seen foot traffic in weeks. Rhia doesn’t want to jump to conclusions just yet. Frank’s been in a wheelchair for the past couple years. They haven’t had much need to go upstairs because of it.

No amount of rationalization can explain away the stench of death that’s settled upstairs … or the note addressed to her on the nightstand in the guest bedroom Rhia was all too familiar with. She picked it up and sat on the dusty bed, trying her damnedest to push away the memories floating around the room. She opens the letter, attempting to read the jagged, unsteady handwriting:

Rhiannon,

If you are reading this, Bill and I are dead. Somber, I know. I’m hoping Bill lets me die alone, but I’ve spent enough years with the man to know better. It’s damn near impossible to write nowadays, so I’ll keep this short. Forgive Joel. If anyone can get through to him, it’s you.

Do not mourn us. We lived as we died: together. I hope you can do the same.

~Frank

Rhia lets the words settle around her, hands shaking as she grips the paper tighter. She hears Joel call for Ellie downstairs. She lets out a deep breath, deflating, eyes squeezed shut. Then she stands, eyes empty as she leaves the room behind.

“So they're dead?” She hears Joel as she starts down the stairs.

“Mm-hmm,” Ellie responds so softly Rhia almost doesn’t catch it.

The steps creak under her feet and Joel turns to her, his face hardened as he tries to hide his grief. Rhia sees it, anyway; the dull eyes, the pursed frown, eyes looking anywhere but at her or Ellie.

Joel glances up at Rhia as she joins in beside him. He sees his pain reflected in her; balled fists, tight jaw. She meets his eyes, an unspoken understanding forming between them. She brushes her hand against his as she turns to face Ellie.

“You, you wanna?” Ellie asks them, her eyes glancing down at their hands hovering barely an inch away from each other.

“Go ahead,” Joel shakes his head, “You do it.”

“August 29, 2023,” Ellie starts, “If you find this... please do not come into the bedroom. We left a window open so the house wouldn't smell, but it will probably be a sight. I'm guessing you found this, Joel, because anyone else would've been electrocuted or blown up by one of my traps. Hehehehehehehehe. Take anything you need. The bunker code is the same as the gate code but in reverse.

“Anyway… I never liked you, but still, it's like we're friends… almost. And I respect you. So, I'm gonna tell you something because you're probably the only person who will understand. I used to hate the world, and I was happy when everyone died. But I was wrong because there was one person worth saving.”

Rhia doesn’t notice Joel’s eyes on her. She is too far in her head thinking of him.

“That's what I did. I saved him. Then I protected him. That's why men like you and me are here. We have a job to do. And God help any mοthеrfսckеr who stand in our way. I leave you all of my weapons and equipment. Use them to keep Rhia and—” Ellie stops.

Joel takes the paper from her, turning away from both girls to read on. He reads it. Reads it again. He ignores the food and wine pairing Bill recommends and rereads the same line over and over again, “let yourself care about her before it’s too late.”

“You get one, too?” Joel turns at Ellie’s question, following her eyes to the piece of paper crumpled in Rhia’s fist. Rhia avoids his gaze and he hardens again.

“Stay here,” he tells them and leaves.

Rhia stays where she stands, but her mind is far away, deep in memory.

“You don’t hate each other,” Ellie says not as a question, but a fact. The sheer confidence of the statement brings Rhia back to her body, a powder keg of every emotion she’s ever felt.

She looks this child dead on, eyes a half-lidded void, “What do you know?”

“Nothing,” Ellie says quickly, turning away from her.

Rhia shakes her head, the weight of guilt pushing her impending implosion to its limit, “I’m sorry. I—I’m sorry.”

She hurries away, blowing out the front door. She doesn’t stop until she’s down the road and standing in front of the gate to leave. She reaches a hand out for the door, but cannot bring herself to grasp it. She drops to her knees, ignoring the scratch of the rough pavement, and cries.

She clutches her neck, heaving quick breaths as her mind spins. She can’t bear the pain in her chest, the fear squeezing her bones. She is alone. As always, in the end. Alone. Her parents, Tess, Stevie, Bill, Frank … all gone.

Her mind wanders to Joel. Her jaw clenches, the things she’s kept buried coming to claw through her throat. Anger, joy, grief, love. All for him. She wonders what else he will claim of her.

She stands, roughly wiping her tears away and turning back to the house. She enters just as Joel and Ellie come up from the basement.

“You didn’t leave?” Joel asks, the twinge of relief in his voice surprising him.

“Thought I told you,” Rhia smiles as if she hadn’t broken down sobbing a few moments ago, “Not getting rid of me.”

He nods, “Then grab what you can and stick it in the truck. I’m charging the battery now and then we’re heading to find my brother.”

“They’re gonna help us find the Fireflies,” Ellie adds.

Rhia nods back, “Let’s get to it.”

Over the next hour, the trio combs through every inch of the house, taking what they need. Clothes, food, weapons. All of it stocked up in the truck.

“Needs another hour,” Joel says to Ellie as she runs her hand under the faucet of the garage’s sink.

“They have hot water!” she exclaims happily, “I’m taking a shower, and then you’re showering because seriously…”

She lets out a puff of air as she leaves the garage, running into Rhia. “Hey, Rhia. Guess what? There’s hot water! We can shower!”

Rhia smiles at her excitement, “Yeah, I know. Go enjoy it while you can.” Ellie smiles and runs off.

Rhia enters the garage and Joel turns to her, eyes wide in anticipation. She mentally curses those big, brown eyes of his. They make it hard for her to think, and she needs to think clearly around him.

“Something wrong?” Joel asks, noticing the dazed look in her eyes

“Why did you come back?” she asks quietly, eyebrows knit in confusion, “You didn’t need me to get to Bill’s. You didn’t know you were going to have to take her across the country yet. Why did you ask me to come?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugs, meeting her eyes. She knows he is lying.

“Joel, if we’re gonna take this kid across the country together, we need to trust each other,” Rhia frowns, “And right now I don’t trust you.”

“What do you want from me?” He asks, letting out a frustrated sigh.

“The truth.”

“The truth?” Joel starts, “I wasn’t thinking. I shouldn’t have brought you into this.” It is the truth, in a way. He just omits the why. He wasn’t thinking when he showed up at her house. He was in pain and his body brought him to her. He shouldn’t have brought her into this danger, but he wanted her.

In his grief over Tess, he sought Rhiannon out, and, like a fucked up post-nut clarity, he now regrets it. At least, he tells himself he regrets it. His mind wanders to the end of Bill’s letter again. Let yourself care about her before it’s too late. Joel thinks it already is.

Rhia nods, looks around the room. She’d spent many mornings in this garage packing, unpacking, idling, talking. Most of which was spent with Joel. Now, she looks around and sees the gathering dust of dead friends and deader memories.

“You think I can’t handle it?” Rhia asks defensively, “I’ve saved your ass plenty of times, Miller.”

“It’s not that,” Joel shakes his head, “I know you can handle yourself.”

“If you’re just trying to get me to bail, it’s not gonna work,” she says, stalking up to him. She stops, so close to Joel that she has to lift her head to meet his eyes, “But don’t for a second think it’s because of you or anything we once were. I’d love to turn around and never see you again.” She lets out a dry, humorless laugh. “Hell, I’ve prayed for it. But Ellie’s not gonna make it all the way across the country just the two of you. So, I’m coming whether either of us likes it or not.”

If she wasn’t so blinded by her anger and rejection, she’d notice his hands hovering just off her waist. Joel doesn’t even realize he’s doing it, unconsciously drawn to her.

Joel’s mind is a racetrack, going around and around in hopeless circles over whether he should apologize or push her further away. He’s so caught up in his self torturous loop, he doesn’t notice her eyes flicker to his lips, chapped and slightly parted, before she spins around and stomps out of the garage.

After they all shower and pack up, the trio finally can head out. Joel, obviously, takes the driver’s seat and Ellie and Rhia reach for the passenger door handle at the same time.

“Nuh uh. Kids go in the back,” Rhia tuts.

“Aww, c’mon. It’s my first time in a car,” Ellie begs.

“Fine,” Rhia chuckles, then quickly adds, “For a little bit.”

Ellie settles in the front seat, touching every inch of her area, “It's like a spaceship.”

“No, it's like a piece of shit Chevy S10, but it'll get us there … I think,” Joel says, buzzkill as ever.

“I can’t believe this piece of shit is still kickin’,” Rhia laughs, leaning forward from the middle seat, her arms resting on Ellie and Joel’s seatbacks. She looks at Joel and loses herself in the wet curls of his slicked back hair. He smells of cheap soap and the unwashable outdoorsy scent of twenty years of unreliable hygiene. She catches his eye in the rearview mirror. How long had he been watching her stare at him?

“Old as you, Joel,” Rhia jabs, pulling back to her hostile facade.

He purses his lips in annoyance and turns to Ellie, “Seatbelt.”

Ellie gives him a confused, but excited, “Hmm?”

He sighs and leans over her, pulling the seatbelt out and strapping her in, “Seatbelt.”

“So cool,” she remarks under her breath.

“Aww! Baby’s first car ride,” Rhia jokes.

“Ha, ha!” Ellie says sarcastically as Joel pulls out of the garage. She opens the glove box, pulling out a cassette tape and shoving it in the player, ignoring Joel’s protests.

“Put it back … Ellie. Oh, no, wait,” Joel changes his mind, turning up the volume as “Long, Long Time” by Linda Ronstadt plays over the shitty speakers, “No, leave it. Leave it. Oh, this is good. This is Linda Ronstadt. Do you know who Linda Ronstadt is?”

“You know I don't know who Linda Ronstadt is,” Ellie deadpans.

“I don’t even know who Linda Ronstadt is,” Rhia pipes up, still leaning forward.

“Sit back,” Joel orders. Rhia parrots his words mockingly, unmoving.

And so Joel, Rhiannon, and Ellie begin their journey, unaware of all that lies ahead…

Taglist: @pedritosdarling

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rainbowcarousels · 1 year

Text

I'm still too sick to catch up on my fics or comments, but can I interest you in some headcanons about Nicolas de Lenfent if he'd survived into the modern era?

Utterly acidic in commentary, claims it's a lack of filter but it's just pushing the extremes to see what gets what response. Dresses up what he's saying like he's dressing for a performance, the difficult part is finding the important part between the venom and what he's actually trying to say. Armand and the threatre kids are still some of the best people at this.

Misses the theatrics and rebellion of the 60's-80's rock and punk. Dresses like a late 80's goth, something inspired by Siousie Sioux and Nick Cave with anarchic flair of punk. Can and will talk about every single pieces origins at length. One of the rings belongs to Armand. He's not getting it back.

Likely has a personality disorder, most probably borderline with it exasberated by traumatic experiences. Given the modern predisposition with mental health, has gone to several therapists over the years but tends to eat them when they annoy him.

Can and will get into the most knock-down-drag out fights with Lestat even now. One was about whether Bowie ripped off Bolan in terms of theatric expression, another about the performative nature of charity as a way to show purity in the modern era. ('You don't care about charity and if good deeds are done, are good deeds not enough?' 'I've done plenty of charitable needs - I've fucked you, haven't I?')

Always covered in writing, tends to just write on himself when he doesn't have paper.

Begrudgingly will look at Antoine's work, will rip it to shreds like Miranda Priestly looking at a blue sweater if he doesn't like it but will be helpful if he does. Antoine gets extra marks for being the replacement with musical talent. Feels closer to Sybelle (he understands the need for obsession as expression to the point of ruin to create something beautiful better than post) and encourages her to write more of her own pieces. Will listen to Pandora's without complaint. She was with Marius a long time, she gets it.

Big fan of like Baz Luhrmann, psychological thrillers and mindfucks. Actually does agree with Armand about Blade Runner but he's not going to TELL him that. Their relationship is complicated, but he doesn't really hold much against him other than he was supposed to die and he's grumpy that he's still alive. Actually loves the little gremlin for trying, for being honest when it seemed like everything else was bullshit.

Drawn to dark or just inappropriate humour. He has a 'the world is going to hell, might as well enjoy the ride if we're fucked either way' mentality and it tends to colour his interactions. The more emotionally uncomfortable, the worse the humour - has probably asked Armand if he did anything kinky with his hands and been disappointed with the answer.

#this is the most i've written in days so if it's trash i'm so sorry #also thank you for the well wishes i have medication so hopefully it'll go soon #but nicki is one of my favourites so here we'll look at my version a little #nicolas de lenfent #vampire chronicles #headcanons

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anonymityisfunwriter · 1 year

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O, Christmas Tree, O, Christmas Tree

"Not to state the obvious, guys, but I think that the tree might be a little too big," you decide, wincing at the sight of the very top of the tree bending against the ceiling as Sam and Bucky try to get it to stand entirely upright.

"You think?" Sam sarcastically asks, wedging the tree as far upright as it'll go.

"Do you think we have time to go back before they get here?" you ask, cringing when they both take a step back to look at the tree that was clearly several feet too tall for the common.

"I don't think so, they're supposed to be back in an hour."

"Maybe we can just cut off the bottom," Bucky wryly suggests.

"That is the worst idea I've ever heard," Sam deadpans.

"Maybe we can cut a hole in the ceiling. It'll be like a skylight!" you enthusiastically offer.

"Okay, never mind, that was the worst idea I've ever heard," Sam amends.

"I don't hear you suggest anything," Bucky argues.

"Because I didn't even want to be on tree duty!"

"Guys," you try interjecting. "Guys!"

"And? Aren't you the one-"

"Oh my God..." Steve over-enunciates as he walks into the room, cutting off Sam and Bucky's bickering.

"Uh, like I was trying to say, I think the team got back early," you state, jutting your thumb to your team mates slowly filtering into the common room from the doorway behind you.

"I gave you three one job! One job while we were gone."

"So, really, if you think about it, you only have yourself to blame," you tease, clapping your hand on Tony's shoulder.

Reblogs and comments are always appreciated 💛

Taglist: @marianita195 @meli18gonzalez @ludicbouquetfromearth @matchat3a @famousbreadcherryblossomsstuff @valoraxx @blue786sworld @buckyandgeraltsupremacy @geminigengar @ansaturn @ecolle @lexhalstead3 @ybflkmj @mediocre-daydreams @shanye1112 @thegirlnextdoorssister @toomanyfanficsbruh @moonlightreader649 @breathtaking-cynthia @mirikusashes @beans-and-toast @niyahcoca @katiechikin @elxvrr @antiheroxsblog @infamouslyclumsy @krissydclayton93

AnonymityIsFun Masterlist Grumpy Sunshine Series Masterlist

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painted-fanbird · 1 year

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Currently thinking about why Elend is my least favorite character

It’s not that I hate him, he’s a perfectly serviceable character. He’s a good man, a good leader, a good soldier, and now a good Mistborn. Which,, hnng. He just lacks depth imo

He did kind of have depth in The Final Empire. When he was introduced as a disheveled nobleman, a scholar and a quiet rebel within his own society. I’ll admit I didn’t love him much then either, but that was more to do with his role in the story lol. I’m a certified Romance Hater in my fiction, so honestly I think Elend was doomed from the start in some respects XD

But by the end of The Well of Ascension, Elend is just,, good at everything. He’s noble, he’s stands up for himself, and now he’s got incredible Mistborn powers to boot. In short, he’s boring!! Incredibly boring! There’s no conflict of personality traits here and I’m mad about it!

Look at Vin, who began as a scared little girl hiding an inner strength. Who is now vicious and blunt and struggles with the weight of the responsibility she’s found herself with. Or Ham, the straightforward soldier who constantly prods at philosophy. Or Sazed, a seemingly quiet scholar with a quick wit and hidden rebelliousness. Breeze claims to be a manipulative bastard, but we know him to be a good msn deep down. Clubs was gnarled and grumpy, but there was a softness to him too, deep down. Dockson was calm and ever practical, but secretly just as insane as everyone else. Kelsier was a dreamer, a laugher, and so incredibly ruthless

I just,, he should have stayed a scholar. The ideas man. Fascinated with unraveling the mysteries the crew finds over the course of the plot, philosophizing with Ham, brilliant and emotionally intelligent and still doesn’t know what a hairbrush is. He’s their dreamer. Their unhinged genius running off of five cups of coffee and no sleep. He comes up with harebrained schemes and Vin goes “yeah I can pull that off” and then she does. That would make him about 500x more interesting in my book, it gives him the personality tension he lacks! He’s the kind of character who should be poised and well spoken, and instead his veins are made of caffeine, his hair is a mess, and it’s a small miracle his sentences are coherent

You could even still let him have Mistborn powers, if you really wanted too. Let Vin take the focus on iron and steel, the first things Kelsier taught her. Then let Elend do the emotional stuff. Taking the edge off the idea that his plans are utterly insane, and encouraging a little bit more reckless confidence in the crew. Kelsier might be gone, but he left a legacy in the two people he saved. Vin is his skill in allomancy, his power, his recklessness, his love. Elend is his dreams, his plans, his ability to engage a crowd. She’s got practical street smarts, he’s book smart. He says “my research says X is sound” and she says “okay” and filters it through a layer of practical experience on the streets so it can be pulled off.

Also axe relationship with Vin. Just let them be ride or die besties! Siblings! Platonic soulmates! Two peas in a pod, but not in love. They’d be way more interesting that way imo and tbh Vin needs regular friends her own age lol

#bird caws #mistborn #mistborn: the final empire #mistborn: the well of ascension #mistborn: the well of ascension spoilers #mistborn: the hero of ages #mistborn: the hero of ages spoilers #just covering all my bases lol #elend venture

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mimisempai · 1 year

Text

Lean on me

Summary

Frank is desperate, since Bill recovered from his injury after the raider attack, he spends his time in the basement watching his screens. To the point of forgetting his own health. It's time for Frank to take charge of the situation.

Notes

Consequences of the raiders' attack

On AO3

Rating G - 1172 words

Frank rolled over in bed and immediately noticed that the space next to him was empty.

He looked at the clock and sighed, it was past 11 p.m.

He got out of bed with a grunt, pulled on a pair of sweatpants, and went downstairs before opening the trapdoor hidden under a fake dresser. From the top of the ladder, he saw the light filtering through the door.

He should have known that once again Bill would not keep his promise. Since he had recovered from the raider attack, his lover had been spending a lot more time in the basement, even more paranoid than before. Frank understood very well, he was still feeling the effects of that night. He understood that the reason for Bill's paranoia was completely justified this time, but it was being pushed to the limit again. Whenever he had a free moment, Bill would disappear into the basement. When Frank woke up in the morning, the space next to him was often cold, and Bill had disappeared into the basement, only coming up for breakfast.

But tonight Frank had tried to change this bad habit and had made him promise to come upstairs around 10 pm. But this was without counting the limitless obstinacy of his lover.

Frank, annoyed, opened the door a little abruptly and said in a deadpan tone, "You lied."

Bill turned to him and replied, obviously grumpy, "Yeah, well, we can't be too careful.

Frank rolled his eyes, "What good is that going to do you if you wear yourself out looking at all those screens? Anyway, I don't want to argue with you anymore. The only thing I care about is you and the fact that you've been sleeping an average of four hours a night for the past week!"

Bill's face closed and he replied curtly, "That's enough for me, I'm not tired. You don't have to lecture me."

But Frank wasn't fazed by the tone or the words, because he knew Bill very well, and Bill only reacted like that to him when he was cornered, so Frank replied in a deadpan tone, "Tell that to whoever you want, but not to me. So don't get all high and mighty and come to bed!"

He was walking toward the ladder when he turned and added to a stunned Bill, "Now! Not in an hour!"

Frank went back to bed, wondering if he had gone too far, or even if Bill would ignore his outburst. But when he heard Bill enter the room, he thought he'd been right.

He had his back to the door, so he felt Bill climb into bed, slip under the covers, and then he felt him hesitate for a few seconds before wrapping his arms around Frank and whispering into his neck, "Sorry..."

But Frank didn't let him finish, "Don't you dare." He said more softly, "Don't say you're sorry, because you're not sorry for what you did, you're not sorry for the damage you're doing to yourself, you're just sorry that I caught you in the act."

"Frank..." Bill whispered into his hair.

Frank turned in his arms and said quietly, "I know and understand that the fear behind your paranoia is justified. But that's not the best way to deal with it. You're on the edge again and..." Frank reached up and gently traced the outline of Bill's face and continued, "...you were seriously injured not too long ago, you look exhausted. You need to take care of yourself Bill, if you won't do it for yourself, do it for me."

Bill opened his mouth, but Frank stopped him by putting his finger to his lips and continued, "I love you, you know that," he said. "And because I love you, I can't stand to see you hurt yourself like this. I'm here now. Whatever the obstacle, whatever the difficulty. You don't have to deal with it alone anymore. You can't go on like this."

Bill kissed his finger and said quietly, "Do you know what's been on my mind since that night? I have to protect Frank. No matter what the cost. I don't care if they steal our supplies, if they destroy the house, but you? If something happened to you... I couldn't..."

Frank, though touched by the confession, interrupted him abruptly, "And what if something happens to you? Guess what? It did happen! I was here! I'm not some fragile, defenseless little thing. While you were hurt, you kept saying that I couldn't live alone, that I should call Joel and so on. But instead, I'd rather you taught me how to shoot, taught me how to defend myself, shared the watch with me, or whatever."

Bill murmured, "But... you never told me."

"Well, there's a first time for everything. "

Bill sighed, "Okay... I'm sorry for talking to you like that before, I... Even after all this time, I'm still not used to having support. It's always been me against the world, safe in my basement. And then you came along and my basement didn't have much appeal anymore. The raid was like a cold shower, and knowing that I was so close to losing you, that I couldn't protect you, did the rest. I lost sight of everything else. I'm sorry. Sincerely."

Frank kissed him gently and replied, "Stop apologizing. I'm not asking you to change Bill, just to be more considerate of yourself. I'm also to blame for letting you go too long without saying anything. I just want you to understand something. The responsibility of protecting our home and me is not just yours. Lean on me. Not just for what's easy, okay?"

Bill nodded, "Yeah, I... I'll try, but..." he ran a hand over his face and continued, "Be patient with me. Please."

Frank took his hand and kissed the palm before saying softly, "As long as you're willing to let me call you on it from time to time."

Bill dropped his head on Frank's shoulder and heard him whisper, "I'm so exhausted."

Pleased that Bill was admitting his exhaustion and that he was finally listening to his body, Frank wrapped his arms around his lover and whispered into his hair, "I know, my love. Let go, I'm here."

Bill murmured against Frank's neck, "Thanks for putting up with me."

Frank chuckled, "Idiot, there's nothing to put up with. I love you with everything you are."

Bill mumbled in response, already half asleep, "...you too."

It took less than a minute for Frank to feel that Bill was breathing deeper and that his body grew heavier against him. He kissed Bill's hair one last time and said softly, "Good night."

He tightened his arms around the surrendered body against his and continued, "I'm the one protecting you now."

Of course, this would not be their last argument on the subject. They both had ingrained habits and would have to learn to compromise again and again.

But they did it together.

That was all that mattered.

_________

Still not beta'd

Still not my native language

Still hoping you'll enjoy this story 🥰

Still thanking you for bearing with me 😝

Bill and Frank masterlist : here

#the last of us #the last of us spoilers #the last of us show #bill the last of us #frank the last of us #bill and frank #bill x frank #true love #strawberry lovers #the last of us fanfiction

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moonchildstyles · 2 years

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What kind of drunk are each of your harrys?

oooooh my god this is soooo fun to think about!!!!!

we've seen aster h drunk a little and hes been described as being soft and affectionate and very talkative when he's drunk and I can also picture him as being a lazy one too if he drinks enough like he gets sleepy:(

citrine I think is a party drunk I think ghifhsufhsu like I think he just wants to dance and play and have fu like hes the one that wants to run around town and talks to everyone he meets and is just wanting to have fun like he has a weird amount of energy

chiaroscuro though he doesn't get drunk very often at all since he would have to drink from y/n after she's drunk and thats something that he is really touchy about but bc of that I think of him as a lightweight and I can see him being a sappy and emotional kind of drunk bc theres just so much going on in his grumpy little head that when that filter is removed it just comes pouring out and he is just soooo soft:(

Prosecco h I can see him being one of the kinds of drunks that gets really quiet and like is giggly and just to himself like I can see him esp just wanting to listen to y/n talk and chatter away w her but hes also jsut...idk I can just see him being in his head but in a really soft and comfortable way u know what I mean?

and gravity I think he kind of lets loose in a way that like that wall is up and his shyness is up when hes sober but when hes drunk its done and gone for like hes super affectionate and sweet and touchy w y/n bc he doesn't care anymore!!! and he'll tell her every sweet or dirty thought that comes to him bc he can and its just...I see him being all over her and letting out that side of him he usually keeps to himself

#anon #ask #concept #and for my patreon besties #I see clover as being a super casual wine drinker and when he gets into it when June is w his mom or something I see him just being a soft #like dancing in the living room kind of sdrunk w lots of kissing and very sleepy kind :(#Athens is #I think the kind that feels soooo creative and like he could write a book or like he thinks every film or photo he sees hes like just #wanting to analyze it #like I just see him being that kind of emotional u know????

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enwie · 2 years

Text

Wondrous Tails of FFXIV 2022, Ancient Etheirys

There was a lone tree that had served as a meeting place of three friends for as long as each of them could remember, even after duty had one of them away more often then present. Whenever she came back, that was where they would find her first, sitting in the shade of the tree, her hood and mask lowered to better feel the gentle breeze that traveled through the foliage as she rested.

As much as Kalliope loved her being on the road, all the small adventures she got herself into, she had found that no matter how completely she forgot to be tired during them, the weariness would eventually catch up to her anyways.

Her eye-lids were heavy, and she felt like closing them for just a moment.

When she opened them again, the sun had clearly shifted on the sky and she felt a weight on her shoulder.

Turning to look, she found Hythlodaeus sitting next to her, head leaned against her, hair falling slightly over his face.

”I’m sorry, but the moment I saw you I realised you had the right idea, so I joined you,” he said without opening his eyes, a small, friendly smile on his lips. ”I thought you wouldn’t mind.”

”Of course not.”

Kalliope tilted her head to have it rest upon his and they continued to snuggle, both contented in the casual closeness.

”How were your travels? Any exploding volcanoes this time?”

”Not this time,” Kalliope laughed. ”I had a pretty peaceful time for once.” She paused for a bit, as if reconsidering, and followed with, ”Except, there was this one concept gone a little rogue—”

”And why has the Convocation not heard about this?” a grumpy voice interrupted. Kalliope’s eyes flew open, a wide smile quickly taking over her face as she saw Emet-Selch.

”Because it wasn’t that big of a deal, the situation was quicker to solve on my own,” Kalliope said. Emet-Selch sighed, clearly about to say more on the matter, which made her add, ”I was going to report it later.”

”Sure you were.” Emet-Selch gave her a sardonic smile, only to be met with a burst of chuckles from both Kalliope and Hythlodaeus.

”Moving on, aren’t you two going to get up? You’re hardly children who need to nap all day anymore.”

”On the contrary, the older we get the more naps we’re going to need,” Hythlodaeus said solemnly.

They could practically hear the way Emet-Selch raised a brow. ”Is that so?”

”Absolutely! You should join us, too,” Kalliope concurred and smiled up at him. ”I have another shoulder free.”

After a huff and a mumbled protest that it lacked dignity, which both of his dearest friends knew not to take too seriously, Emet-Selch sat down on the grass alongside them.

”Please, won’t you take the mask off? It’ll be nicer,” Kalliope coaxed, and seeing as he had already surrendered, Emet-Selch did as told and lowered his hood as well. Hythlodaeus wrapped his arm over Kalliope’s lap and reached for Emet-Selch, who had leaned his head on her shoulder as instructed.

Even though they continued to share more of each of their tidings since all three of them had last met, the warm sun filtering through the leaves had them drifting back to sleep eventually, cuddled together.

#ffxiv #wondroustailsofffxiv #wondroustailsofffxivwriting #azem #hythlodaeus #emet-selch

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radioisntdead · 3 days

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Me being sleep deprived is so fun, either I'm grumpy and picking half-arsed fights over things like hummus with my friends who know I'm sleepy grumpy, OR I'm pure Comedy, my filters gone and cursed things appear, and I'm easing in and out of consciousness

I haven't slept in I don't know how long but I wrote a lot yay, two requests done, and part two of too sweet is mostly done

#radiorambles

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curlynerd · 3 years

Text

Dean Winchester hates mornings.

It might have something to do with the four hours of sleep that precede them. Or perhaps the lingering memories of dragging a grumpy, petulant 12-year-old Sam out of bed for school when he was still an equally grumpy, petulant kid himself. Or maybe he just isn't wired to handle the early hours.

Whatever it is, Dean Winchester hates mornings.

And yet, he still wakes up early every day.

Drags his ass out of bed with a grumble and a sigh. Keeps his curses as quiet as possible so he doesn't wake Cas beside him. Scrubs at the sleep making his eyes gritty. Shuffles into a pair of pajama bottoms and his slippers with a disgruntled huff, like having to deal with the early morning chill is one of life's greatest inconveniences.

At the doorway, Dean pauses and looks back. Cas is still blissfully unconscious, his breathing slow and heavy and relaxed. The second Dean got out of bed he snagged all the blankets and cocooned himself in them, but by now his hand is out, searching for Dean so he can wrap his arm around him again. When it fails to find him, it curls around Dean's pillow. Cas buries his nose in it and lets out a tiny coo of contentment.

Dean smiles, his heart so full it aches. For just a second, he considers crawling back into bed with Cas. Succumbing to his hatred of mornings and going back to sleep with Cas nuzzled up against him like Dean is his personal teddy bear.

But he doesn't. He shuts the door behind him as quietly as possible and shambles down the hallway.

Dean's not quite firing on all cylinders without coffee in his system, so he bangs his shoulder on the doorway as he rounds the corner into the kitchen, and he swears a blue streak on his way to the sink. He's still grumbling under his breath as he grabs the lid of Sam's shaker bottle from the side of the sink and washes it with as much malcontent as he can muster. Sam always forgets to wash it when he rinses out his bottle, and Dean always has to clean it the next morning so Sam doesn't get yesterday's nasty protein shake crap mixed in with today's. He sets it beside the clean bottle and makes himself some coffee.

It's not long after the smell of fresh coffee fills the kitchen when Sam walks in, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and wearing running clothes like the health freak he is. "Hey."

Dean grunts in acknowledgement. Words are for after coffee. Sam starts making himself a protein shake without so much as a 'thank you' for cleaning his lid. Hell, he's probably not even aware Dean does it for him.

"Oh, can you do extra spinach in my omelette? Gotta use it up; it's getting kinda wilted," Sam asks on his way out the door, like it's a given Dean will make him an omelette. Because it is a given. Five people in the bunker and someone needs to make breakfast for them all. Might as well be Dean. "And tomatoes?"

"Yeah yeah, have it your way, Burger King," Dean grouses as he pours himself a mug of coffee. He dumps what's left and fills the carafe with more water.

"Awesome, thanks." And then Sam's gone off to do horrifying morning activities like jogging.

Dean, however, is doing something even more horrifying. He fills the coffee maker with pumpkin spice flavored coffee and grimaces. But God help him, Cas loves the stuff. And Dean loves Cas, so he'll make him some freakin' pumpkin spice coffee. Though this is the only point in the entire day when he questions his love for Cas. Just a little bit.

As nutmeg and cinnamon fill the air, Dean chugs his respectable cup of plain ol' dark roast and browses the contents of the refrigerator.

Blueberries. He should use those up too. Dean plucks them, some eggs, some butter, some milk, and all of the stuff for Sam’s atrocious vegetable omelette from the fridge.

Jack comes shuffling in while Dean is mixing up blueberry pancake batter, looking sleepy but chipper. He looks even happier when he sees what Dean’s cooking. “Excellent timing! Chop Sam’s tomatoes for me,” Dean commands before Jack even has a chance to say a ‘good morning!’ or grab some juice. The coffee is finally kicking in and dragging him into full wakefulness, but the patient parts of Dean’s brain don’t come online until at least 9am.

Eileen isn’t far behind Jack, but she takes one look at Dean with his spatula and Jack at the cutting board and immediately backs out of the kitchen. “Sorry! Dunno what you’re saying!” she shouts as she retreats, as if she expected Dean to try calling out orders after her. “I’m gonna shower!” Dean sighs and shakes his head. Probably for the best. She handles produce and a chef's knife the same way she does with vampires and a machete.

“Hello, Dean. Jack.” Cas drags himself into the kitchen with half-open eyes. His sleep-rough voice is adorable. The wild shock of hair standing up on one side, even moreso.

“Mornin’ Sunshine!” Dean croons at full volume, like he does every morning, because he’s kind of an asshole and secretly likes the way Cas scowls at Dean’s energy as he makes a cup of his terrible pumpkin spice coffee.

Cas comes up behind Dean and rests his chin over his shoulder to watch him cook, like he’s too tired to even bother holding up his own head. Dean has to be careful how he moves his arm so he doesn’t burn himself on Cas’ hot mug, but he’d be lying if he said this wasn’t one of his favorite parts of the day. Cas tucked up against his back, sleep hazy and warm from their shared bed, those beautiful blues blinking owlishly as Dean makes food for their family.

“Sure you don’t want any?” he asks, pointing down at the griddle even though he knows the answer already.

“No, too early to eat,” Cas grunts by his ear. “Coffee is enough. It smells delicious though.” He tilts his head down to press a gentle kiss to Dean’s shoulder before he pulls away to slouch down in a chair and finish waking up.

By the time Dean finishes breakfast, Sam and Eileen have filtered in too, completing their packed table. For a brief moment it’s utter chaos as everyone grabs plates of food and cutlery and coffee and juice, but before Dean can blink everyone is settled, chowing down on their breakfast or quietly drinking their awful flavored coffee. Dean lets out a weary sigh and sinks down into a chair next to Cas with his own stack of pancakes. It’s way too early to feel this tired.

Almost immediately Cas tilts sideways until he’s using Dean as a headrest again. "I don't see how you can stand getting up so early," Cas says around a slow sip of his coffee. He closes his eyes in appreciation and hums softly.

Dean glances around the table. At Sam, his overly long hair plastered to his sweaty forehead, scrolling through his phone as he shovels egg white omelette into his mouth like he's starving for it. At Eileen, a pleased grin on her face as her closed fist moves in a circle in front of her, her thumb pointed down over her stack of pancakes. At Jack, watching her intently as she teaches him a new sign, his fork suspended halfway to his mouth until a bite of pancake falls off it and smacks onto the table, making Eileen laugh.

At his family, fed and caffeinated and content, ready to start their days because Dean took the extra time to get things off on the right foot.

"I dunno," Dean says with a shrug as he passes Jack the bottle of syrup. He grins. "I kinda like mornings."

#destiel #deancas #dean winchester #supernatural #spn #destiel fanfic #deancas fanfic #supernatural fanfic #destiel fanfiction #deancas fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction #katie writes things #grumpy morning dean my beloved

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writemywaytoyourheart · 3 years

Text

Aim For The Heart | Chapter 12: Sweet As Sugar

Pairing: hitman!jungkook x female reader

Genre: romance, drama, angst, fluff

WC: 7.3k

Warnings for this chapter: strong language, fluff that might kill u since we’ve had none until now whoops

Tag list; Tag list; @hopekookies @moonchild1 @barbellastyles98 @teresaisla @ggukkieland @mwitsmejk @scuzmunkie @jaebeomsblackgf @sugaslittlekookies @moon-asia @bangtannie7 @yoonchrisgull @njkbangtan @higashikatasgf @jksbbyfacebunny @kookiesxbananamilk @voidswan @sadxaries @bts-junseagull @jinfused @taehyungiev13 @jadethd @kimnamjoonluvbot @jungkooook @mutterseelenalleinn @surilirani @patpus @yukiehyukie @crypticsabbat @ohyeahjk @steffiiirose @the-falling-star @telepathytae

summary; Jeon Jungkook is an infamous hitman, known for his inability to fail at whatever job is thrown his way. At least, up until now. Y/n, a kind-hearted and full of life teacher, is his newest target. Jeon isn’t sure who would put a hit on this seemingly innocent girl, but fortunately, that isn’t his problem. All he has to do is pull the trigger.

Previous > Next

Jungkook wakes up the next morning with a pounding headache.

Definitely a stressed induced headache.

"Fuck," He groans loudly, holding his head.

A moan comes from the couch, "What you complaining about so early in the damn morning?"

"My head is killing me," Jungkook informs his temporary housemate.

"Then take some medicine and drink some fucking water," Taehyung groans in annoyance.

"Can't. Hurts too bad."

"Damn it all to hell," Taehyung grumbles as he gets up and stumbles to the kitchen. He fumbles with the cabinets until he pulls out a bottle of medicine, then he grabs a glass and fills it up with water.

He stomps back to Jungkook, huffing the whole way.

"Sit up," He barks.

Jungkook slowly sits up, his eyes squinting in the light that's seeping through the curtains, "Fuck, it hurts," He moans helplessly as Tae grabs his hand to shove the pills in and then hands him the glass of water.

"Take it," He says gruffly, "I'm not going to feed it to you like a baby."

Jungkook resists the urge to stick his tongue out at Tae as he takes the medicine, then lays down again, "Thanks."

"You're a pussy."

"Whatever," Jungkook rolls over so that he can stuff his face into his pillow.

Tae plops down on the couch with a loud sigh, "What are you going to do today?"

"Mm, shh," Jungkook mumbles into the pillow, "I'm tryin to sleep."

"You woke me up, now I can't go back to sleep."

"Well try."

"It's too bright and it's too hot-"

"Taehyung?"

"What?"

"Shut up."

"Asshole."

Jungkook lifts the pillow and puts it over the top of his ears so he can drown out Tae's insistent bickering.

An hour passes and the bright sun filtering through the windows inevitably wakes Jungkook from his fitful slumber. He sighs and sits up in bed.

At least his headache is mostly gone.

He reaches over to the bedside table and grabs the glass Tae got him earlier, quickly downing the rest of the water.

He glances at the couch and sees Tae passed out, one of his legs hanging off the edge as his arms clutch a pillow tightly.

It's hard to see something like that and believe he's one of the most infamous and brutal hitmen that won't hesitate to slice your throat if you cross him wrong.

Jungkook sighs quietly and forces himself to get out of bed and go into the bathroom to get a shower.

A little while later, he's clean and mostly awake.

He comes out of the bathroom to see a shirtless Taehyung at the stove cooking eggs.

"Are any of those for me?" Jungkook asks slyly as he comes to peek over Tae's shoulder. The cheesy scrambled eggs look absolutely delicious.

Tae looks at him with squinted eyes, "No. Make your own eggs."

"Wow, someone is grumpy."

"You ruined my sleep."

"Didn't look that way to me-"

"Get out of here! Shoo!" Tae waves the spatula in his hand at Jungkook threateningly.

Jungkook laughs and backs away, moving to get dressed for the day.

By the time Taehyung has his eggs on a plate and is sitting at the table, Jungkook is fully dressed in his usual all black outfit.

He walks to the door to put his shoes on, "I'm going out for breakfast."

"Have fun," Tae says absentmindedly as he looks at his phone and shoves the eggs into his mouth.

Jungkook looks at Tae one last time before heading out, locking the door behind him and hurrying down the hall before the neighbors can see him.

When Jungkook steps into the sunlight for the first time today, he breathes in the fresh air.

He looks at his phone to see it's only a little after nine in the morning.

You should be up by now.

He makes his way to the small café a few blocks from his apartment.

Half an hour later, Jungkook is knocking on your apartment door, his palms sweating nervously.

He sets the bag he's holding down and wipes his hands on his pants before picking the bag up again.

What's he so nervous for?

Oh yeah, maybe because he's never done something even close to this before.

He's stalked and killed hundreds of deserving scoundrels for years, and yet apologizing to a girl for behaving like an asshole seems to be what's got him shaking in his boots.

Jungkook swallows thickly and is about to knock again, his hand raised, when the door opens.

He jumps a little in surprise at the scowling girl in front of him.

"Uhm, hi," Jungkook says quietly.

"What do you want?" Mina snaps.

"C-Can I please talk to ____?"

Mina's eyes narrow even more and she seems to study Jungkook carefully.

"Who are you?"

"Uh, my name is Jung-"

"I know what your name is, boy. Who are you and why are you messing with _____?" Mina's scowl darkens.

Jungkook swallows the lump in his throat, wondering if you had told Mina everything that happened yesterday.

"I-"

"M-Mina? Who's at th-the door?"

Both of them freeze at the sound of your tired and slightly croaky voice.

Mina turns, blocking Jungkook from your view.

"It's just a salesman, ____. Go get dressed, I'll take care of this."

Then Mina slips out and shuts the door behind her, leaving you inside and her standing right in front of the regretful boy on your porch.

"Hm? You didn't answer my question, Jungkook," She seethes.

Jungkook looks down, "I didn't mean to hurt her-"

"Well, you did," Mina snaps, "Do you know how excited she was whenever she told me about how she had made a new friend, and whenever she got to hang out with you? I don't think you realize how much you hurt her. You crushed her."

Jungkook flinches at that, but he doesn't say anything. He doesn't know what to say.

Mina can tell she hit a nerve, so she continues, "___ doesn't have any other friends besides me and you, and clearly you were never a real friend. How could you say those things to her Jungkook? Do you realize how painful those words were to her? She can't help it, Jungkook. It isn't her fault she is the way she is. She-"

Mina stops short and takes a deep breath, "I thought she had actually found someone who wouldn't judge her about the way she speaks or behaves. I guess I was wrong."

There's a tiny piercing pain in Jungkook's heart as he takes a shuddering breath.

"Just leave, Jungkook. And don't come back," Mina says scornfully.

Jungkook just swallows and holds out the bag, "Please give this to her. You don't have to tell her it was from me."

Mina takes the bag, then Jungkook turns and walks away, hurrying down the steps.

She looks in the bag and sees a few take-out boxes.

"What w-w-was the man s-selling?" You ask as Mina comes in and closes the door. She sees that you're all dressed in a pair of old sweats. Your hair is still knotted, but you remembered to put on your favorite white frilly socks.

Mina smiles, her heart aching in her chest as she sets the bag on the table and walks over to pull you into her arms, "I'm sorry, ____," She whispers into the crook of your neck.

"Why a-are you s-s-sorry, Mina?"

"Never mind."

She pulls away and gestures at the bag, "While you were dressing, breakfast arrived."

Your eyes light up, "B-Breakfast??"

You run over and sit on a chair at the table, patiently waiting for Mina to tell you which one is yours.

She hands you a few boxes, then goes to toss the empty bag. You look at her in confusion, "Where is y-yours?"

"I'm making myself a bagel. I didn't want anything much."

You nod, seemingly taking her word for it.

"Th-Thank you for b-buying me food," You say sweetly before opening the first box. There's an omelette inside and you smile at that.

The second box makes you pause.

There are two giant blueberry pancakes, but a note is taped to the lid of it.

You glance at Mina, who's in the kitchen, busying herself with making a bagel.

You open the note, but you don't recognize the messy handwriting. It definitely isn't Mina's...

I got extra napkins, so remember to wipe your face. I'm really sorry. -JK

You swallow thickly, tears brimming in your eyes and blurring the words. You tuck the note into your pocket and start assembling the food.

____________________

Jungkook looks across the little pond, watching the ducks swimming around as a little girl tosses small pieces of bread into the water. The ducks hurriedly crowd around the bread and gobble it up.

The little girl laughs and Jungkook feels his heart pinch.

She sounds a lot like you.

He leans back on the bench, crossing one of his legs over the other as he lifts his hand to block the sun from his eyes.

"I don't think you realize how much you hurt her. You crushed her."

Jungkook sighs and leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees, his head resting in his hands.

What is he supposed to do now?

He's decided he isn't going to kill you. He can't.

So, now what?

It's been two days since he went by your house, and he hasn't heard from you or seen you at all. Now that he thinks about it, he doesn't even have your phone number, so how could he really?

He feels like a piece of shit for saying what he said to you.

He's never felt like shit for doing anything to anybody for as long as he can remember.

What's going on with him?

Jungkook lifts his head to see the little girl go back to her mother, stretching her hand out and taking her mother's as they walk past him.

The little girl, who seems to be around five years old, smiles at Jungkook and waves.

He smiles back, surprising himself when he waves back at her.

"Jungkook."

He turns at the sound of your voice, his heart catching in his throat when he sees you standing a few feet away.

Oh...fuck.

He isn't ready.

He's not ready.

What should he do?

What does he say?

Oh no.

Jungkook stands up abruptly, like you just caught him cheating on a test.

"_-___," It's his turn to stutter as he says your name, his cheeks tinted the slightest pink.

You simply look at him, your usual bright smile not lighting up your pretty little face.

P-P-Pretty??

Wait, why did that thought pass through his brain??

Not pretty. Definitely not pretty.

"You're...shaking," The words leave your mouth slowly, so slowly and softly that Jungkook almost has a hard time hearing you at all.

"I- uh. I'm fine," Jungkook says, then he looks away. He doesn't think he can stand looking into your eyes much longer. The guilt is eating away at him.

"How are you?" He mumbles stupidly, not having anything better to say.

When you don't answer, he looks up at you.

You're staring out at the little pond, a tiny smile on your face when you see the ducks swimming around.

"I'm good," Again, your words are so slow and quiet that Jungkook finds himself leaning in just to hear you.

That's when he realizes something is off.

You aren't stuttering...

Is that why...you're talking so slowly?

"___, listen-"

You look back at him and he gulps, resisting the urge to look away from your gaze.

"I-"

He wants to just slap himself silly, maybe that will make him come to his senses.

Jungkook finds himself looking at your outfit, seeing as he can't seem to keep eye contact with you.

He keeps his eyes locked on the dirty mark on your pink leggings, just below your knee.

"I'm...sorry."

"I know," You say.

He raises his eyes to your oversized purple t-shirt with a lollipop on it. It looks like you're drowning in it.

That only makes him more sick to his stomach.

He forces himself to man up and grow a pair, then he looks straight into your eyes, ignoring the way your knotty hair piled on top of your head in a bun is making his heart pick up its pace.

"I really am sorry."

You just watch him quietly.

Jungkook swallows, "I was a jerk. No, I was an asshole. I had no right to say any of that to you and I honestly don't know why I even did."

You continue to silently look at him, yet your eyes seem soft and sweet, unjudging.

Jungkook shakes his head to clear it, "I just want you to know that I don't think any of what I said. I'm an idiot and I'm so sorry-"

"I f-forgive y-you," A small smile graces your features as Jungkook feels a huge weight lift from his shoulders and a smile of his own tugs at his lips at the sound of your stutter.

Your cheeks turn pink at the smile he gives you.

He still feels guilty...

You forgave him so readily when he really didn't deserve to be forgiven at all-

"When I say I f-forgive you, it m-means you are free to l-let it go," You say sweetly when you see the sadness in his gaze lingering.

Jungkook has a horrible urge to hug you all of a sudden.

He plants his feet to the ground so he doesn't do anything stupid. He doesn't know what's going on with him these days.

"Thank you."

"W-What for?"

"For forgiving me and for the beautiful picture and note," Jungkook finds himself saying in an embarrassed rush.

The reminder of the note makes you self-conscious, making you want to curl into yourself and disappear.

Jungkook realizes that his breathing is quickening, so he turns to look back at the pond and calm his breathing down.

"Well, I n-need to go."

Jungkook looks back at you, a weight of disappointment settling in his chest. He had waited days to talk to you, and now you're leaving again.

"Can I-"

Jungkook speaks up when you turn to walk away.

You turn back to him with a curious look as he blinks to himself, trying to figure out exactly what he needs and wants to say.

"C-Can you...?" You encourage him kindly.

"Can I take you somewhere?" Jungkook finally braves the words, "I mean...I mean another day, since you have somewhere you need to be right now."

"Are y-you going to lose m-me in another t-train station?" You ask with a lighthearted glint in your eye.

"No," Jungkook laughs, relieved that you don't seem appalled by the request.

"Then y-yes," You smile at him again, then you wave as you turn to leave.

"Wait!" Jungkook calls out, jogging over to you.

He holds out his phone, "Can I have your number?"

You smile and type in your information before handing it back to him. Then you skip away, swinging your arms.

Jungkook watches you until you turn a corner, then he lets out a huge puff of air. He needs to figure out where to take you and when.

He wasn't prepared for himself to jump in and say that all of the sudden.

This will be the first place he's going to take you where he isn't planning your murder.

Fucking hell he has no idea what to do.

_____________________

Another few days pass by and Jungkook is panicking.

With lying to Taehyung about the hit being done and trying to figure out where to take you, Jungkook is hanging on to the end of his rope.

He's going crazy with anxiety.

What's gotten into him these days?

He was never anxious before, nothing could rattle him.

And yet, the only time he feels a little bit calmer is when you text him.

What are you doing to him?

A tiny smile reaches his face when he hears a small ding from his pocket as he's cooking pancakes one morning.

__: hi jungkook!

The simple text makes him bite back a smile as he quickly types a reply.

Good morning, did you sleep well?

"Who are you texting?"

Jungkook almost drops his phone into the bowl of pancake batter, "Fuck. Dammit Tae, don't sneak up on me like that."

"Yeah, so who are you texting?"

"No one."

"Ah, so no one huh? Why don't I believe that?"

Jungkook rolls his eyes, "It's just Hoseok."

As he says it, he quickly changes your contact name to a duck emoji with nothing else.

Tae looks at Jungkook with furrowed brows, making the younger squirm.

"Are you crushing on Hoseok, dude?"

Jungkook looks at Tae like he's got two heads, "The fucking hell you on about??"

"You're texting Hoseok with a lovesick smile on your dumbass face!"

Jungkook splutters in disbelief, "I-I-I am n-not lovesick, idiot!"

Taehyung laughs, "You so are."

"I'M STRAIGHT!" Jungkook hollers angrily, then he shoves the spatula into Tae's chest, "Finish breakfast yourself, stupid."

He marches into the bathroom and slams the door, then he turns on the water to the shower aggressively before ripping his clothes off in a huff and stepping in.

Lovesick?

Him?

You?

What a horrifying thought.

Jungkook shivers in disgust and steps under the stream of water to clear his thoughts.

When he gets out, he finds Tae on the couch, looking through his phone.

As he gets dressed Jungkook keeps glancing over at Tae, who has his nose buried in his phone the entire time.

Ha, now who's lovesick texting...whoever the hell he's texting.

But Jungkook has an uneasy feeling in his stomach, he isn't sure why.

Once he's pulling his shirt over his head, it hits him.

His eyes widen as he struggles to pull the shirt all the way over his head, "Tae! Give me back my phone, dumbass!"

He gets it over his head and lunges for Taehyung just as he asks, "Who's the duck emoji?"

"Idiot! Give it to me!" Jungkook tackles Tae to the couch and wrestles the phone from his hands.

"Jeez, JK! Calm down! I don't care if you've got a booty call, damn."

Jungkook turns positively crimson as he fumes, holding himself back from tearing Tae's head off as he climbs off the older boy.

"You're a fucking dumb idiot and I hate you," Jungkook spits at him as he looks through his messages to make sure Tae didn't send anything or see something that might let him know you're still alive.

The only two contacts he has messages with is Hoseok, Tae and you.

Jungkook clicks on your messages and reads through them all quickly.

Hi, it's Jungkook. Here's my number.

(duck emoji): hi jungkook~

...

(duck emoji): good morning jungkook, i hope you slept well^^

Morning, thank you I did. You?

(duck emoji): i slept okay :P

...

Hey, what're you up to on saturday?

(duck emoji): why, are you taking me somewhere? *-*

If you're free...

(duck emoji): then i'm free, hehe

Cool

...

(duck emoji): where are you taking me on saturday, jungkook?

It's a surprise

(duck emoji): aww, but i need to know what to wear tho...

Just wear something comfortable

(duck emoji): okie

...

(duck emoji): hi jungkook!

Good morning, did you sleep well?

(duck emoji): i had a nightmare but im okay. soooo where are you taking me on saturday??

Jungkook breathes a sigh of relief that he never said your name and that he had enough brain cells to redo your contact name.

"She doesn't sound very bright," Tae says as he stretches out on the sofa.

"Says you," Jungkook snaps.

"Whatever, JK. So, where are you taking this duck girl on Saturday?"

"None of your damn business, that's where-"

"You have no idea where to take her do you?" Tae says smugly as he watches Jungkook's face fall.

"No," Jungkook's shoulders slump.

"Have you never taken a girl on a date before?" Tae asks in disbelief.

"It's- It's not a date!"

"Sure."

"It isn't! I don't think of her like that."

"And how do you think of her?"

"Like...a friend."

"Yeahhh, suuuuuure," Taehyung drawls dramatically, "Ok, well where do you usually take girls?"

A moment of silence passes and Tae raises an eyebrow, "Are you saying you've never taken a girl out before?"

Jungkook sighs in defeat, "No, I haven't. Happy?"

"Extremely."

He glares at Tae who laughs, then he looks at Jungkook with wide eyes, "Then you-...you've never even kissed anyone before??"

"No, but- wait what the hell does that have to do with any of this?!"

Taehyung hollers with laughter, clapping his hands.

"Dude you gotta kiss this girl!"

"WHY THE HELL WOULD I DO THAT?!"

"So you can get some experience!"

"You're an asshole."

Taehyung continues to laugh as Jungkook shakes his head and turns to answer your text really quick.

duck emoji): i had a nightmare but im okay. soooo where are you taking me on saturday??

I'm sorry you had a nightmare, but it's still a secret.

"I could help you practice~" Tae says flirtatiously from the couch.

"Literally fuck off," Jungkook growls.

____________________

"____, this isn't a good idea."

"M-Mina, it's just o-one outing."

Mina watches bitterly as you try on different outfits.

It's finally Saturday and Jungkook still hasn't said a word about where he's taking you. All he said was that he'd pick you up at five this evening.

Your best friend looks at you through the mirror, her gaze softening as you twirl in a little pink dress, "W-What do y-you think?"

"It's beautiful, ___."

"I th-think so too. But, he said t-too wear something c-comfy. Perhaps I'll be walking a l-lot, in th-that case, this won't do."

Half an hour and at least six different outfits later, you're dressed in light pink shorts and a giant yellow sweatshirt with a teddy bear on the front of it. Mina brushed your hair for you and is putting it in two half ponytails, so it looks like pigtails but with hair still out and falling beautifully after she brushes it a second time.

"Ok, girl. It's three minutes to five, go get your socks and shoes on," She pats you on the bum gently when you stand up and you run out to do as she says.

You slip and tumble to the ground with a giggle as you grab your favorite white frilly socks and chunky tennis shoes.

"I still don't like this..." Mina says as she watches you struggle to tie your shoes.

"It's okay, M-Mina, I forgave him."

Mina scoffs and crosses her arms, "He didn't deserve it."

"Mina..."

She sees you looking at her sadly as you stand there in front of her, "I l-like him."

Mina's eyes widen, "___, you know you can't-"

"I-I mean, I l-like him as a friend," You say weakly.

She looks at you suspiciously, but lets it go.

Then she looks at her phone, "It's five. He's late-"

Then your phone dings and you look down to see a message from Jungkook saying that he's here.

You smile and lift it to show Mina, who just rolls her eyes.

"Ok, well you need to answer me if I text or call you at all, understood?"

"Y-Yes, mom," You say jokingly, making Mina crack a smile.

"Ok, have fun."

She hugs you tightly, then you run out the door and down the steps. Mina watches while biting her lip anxiously.

You see Jungkook's sleek black car in a parking spot close to the front and you run over to it.

You hear the doors unlock as you come up and grab the door handle, opening it quickly and climbing inside.

As you buckle up, you notice Jungkook is having a hard time looking at you. You turn to him and see him extremely focused on switching gears and pulling out of the parking spot.

"Well, h-h-hello to you too, J-Jungkook."

That brings a shy smile to his face, one you've never seen before.

"Hi, ___. How are you?"

"I'm d-doing well, th-th-thank you...so where are y-you taking m-me?"

Jungkook laughs, a warm sound that makes your chest feel all tickly.

"I told you, it's a surprise."

You pout and look out the front window, "Ok fine, b-but how far away i-is it?"

"About twenty minutes considering all the traffic today," Jungkook says as he pulls out onto the main street.

"Mm," You look down at your fingers, fiddling with them for a second before lifting your head. You and Jungkook both speak at the same time.

"Can we l-listen to m-music?"

"Would you like some music?"

You freeze and see Jungkook fighting back a smile as he hands you the cord attached to his car radio, "Go ahead and put on whatever you'd like," He says kindly.

You gently take the cord from him and plug it into your phone, then you scroll through your music, trying to find something he might like.

"Um, what m-music do you l-like?"

Jungkook hums in thought as he makes a right turn, "I like all different kinds of music, you can play whatever you'd like, really."

You put some pop songs on shuffle and set your phone down.

A minute later, you can't help but dance along to the music. You see Jungkook bopping his head to the beat and you laugh quietly.

Soon enough, you're singing your heart out to the songs and dancing like no one is watching. You don't notice that you do, in fact, have someone watching.

Jungkook keeps his eyes on the road mostly, but occasionally he finds himself looking over at you as you dance and sing like you don't have a care in the world.

He bites back a smile at the sound of your voice. You can't hit a lot of the notes and your voice breaks a lot, but that just makes it all the more enjoyable for him.

When you start getting close to your destination, Jungkook turns to you, "Ok, ___. We're almost there. Close your eyes."

"C-Close my eyes?" You ask in confusion.

He just nods, so you agree silently and cover your eyes with your hands.

Two minutes later, you hear Jungkook speak.

"Ok, we're here. I'm gonna park, then you can uncover your eyes."

"Ok!"

The excitement is barely containable.

You feel the car stop and hear Jungkook put the car into park. Then he opens his door and climbs out, shutting it behind him.

You hear your door open and bounce up and down in excitement. Jungkook chuckles and you feel him reach over you to unbuckle your seat belt.

The close proximity makes your heart pound in your chest as you gulp.

"Ok, climb out, I'll help you."

You feel Jungkook put a hand on your shoulder as you carefully climb out of the car. Then you feel him gently touching your elbow as he leads you somewhere.

After a minute, you hear people talking and laughing and the sound of music playing.

You're dying to uncover your eyes.

"Ok, open your eyes," Jungkook whispers.

You pull your hands down and gasp in delight.

The sight of hundreds of people laughing and playing games, carrying ice cream and cotton candy, and a giant Ferris wheel makes your heart leap.

You can't help yourself from jumping up and down and squealing in pure joy.

"I-I n-never been to a f-fair before!!"

"Really?" Jungkook asks in surprise, still smiling from your initial reaction.

"Yes! Th-Thank you, Jungkook!!" You have tears of happiness brimming in the corners of your eyes.

"Well, don't thank me yet," He says jokingly, "We still need to have fun."

"Why don't you take her to a nice restaurant?" Tae asked as he got up to find some food in the kitchen.

"I told you, it isn't a date. Besides, I don't think that's her thing," Jungkook said in frustration. He was supposed to take you out the next day and still had no idea what to do.

"How about the beach?"

Jungkook cringed at the suggestion that hit a little too close to home, "No, I don't think so."

Taehyung sighed and grabbed an apple, biting into it.

"Well, what about the fair?"

Jungkook gasped and jumped off his bed, "Tae, you're a genius!!"

Taehyung swallowed and grinned, "Yeah, I know."

Jungkook types a quick thanks to Taehyung as you look around with wide eyes.

His phone dings and he rolls his eyes at Tae's message.

Tae: you're smitten. Tae: just don't forget who you are and not to go too far, JK.

Jungkook slips his phone into his back pocket, "What should we do first?"

You beg Jungkook for you two to go to a game first and he readily agrees.

"This is your day, ___. You get to pick everything we do," He says with a smile.

His sudden change in behavior confuses you, but you welcome it happily. If this will make him genuinely smile, you're all for it.

"Which game first?"

You point to one and you two make your way there. The man at the stand smiles kindly at you and you smile back, "C-Can we please p-play this game, s-sir?"

He seems momentarily taken aback by your stutter, but he recovers quickly and nods, "Of course, my dear! You see those balloons there?"

You nod and he continues, "All you need to do is throw these darts and try to pop as many of them as you can in forty-five seconds. Think you can do it?"

Your eyes shine as you nod excitedly, "I c-can!"

"That's the attitude I’m looking for!" The man says happily as he hands you a little box full of darts, "Would your boyfriend like to do it too?"

You look at the man in surprise, then to Jungkook who seems to be out of it.

He's just staring at the lights in the game.

"Oh, h-he's...um," You aren't sure what to say.

Then Jungkook sees that the two of you are staring at him and he nods, "Uh, yeah. I'll play."

You look at him in confusion that he didn't correct the man.

Jungkook steps forward and smiles at you, "Ready to beat this game's ass, ___?"

You get over your initial shock and nod, "Y-Yes!"

You both grab a handful of darts as the man hits a button. Lights start shining and music plays as the two of you start throwing darts. Jungkook hits balloon after balloon, but you can't seem to hit any. You pout and stomp your foot as you try harder.

Another few seconds pass by and you let out a little whine of frustration.

Jungkook looks over at you and sees you struggling. You can't seem to make your hands stop shaking as you try to aim the darts.

Watching you has thrown off Jungkook and he doesn't end up hitting any balloons the last few seconds.

The music dies and a little clown pops out on your side and mocks the fact that you didn't hit enough balloons and that maybe next time you'll get it.

On Jungkook's side, a number flashes and the man tells Jungkook he can pick a prize from a neon blue box.

You pout and look over at the big purple stuffed teddy bear in the prizes, your eyes longing.

Jungkook frowns at the annoying clown as he grabs a black bracelet out of the prize box and slips it on, "Don't worry, ____. Let's try some other games, then we can try this one again later."

"Ok," You say solemnly.

You two make your way around the fair, playing game after game. They're all a lot of fun and you end up winning lots of candy, a cute hair tie, and a yellow bracelet that matches Jungkook’s besides the color. But you can't stop thinking about the purple teddy bear at the first game.

"Do you want to get some dinner?" Jungkook asks, looking at the time on his phone.

It's almost seven at night.

You nod, your mind turning to food, "Yes, I'm h-hungry!"

"Me too," Jungkook laughs.

You two find a little food court and end up getting some pizza. As you sit and eat, you look around the fair at all the little kids running around and all the adults playing games and carrying around the kid's ice cream cones.

The sun is starting to go down and the lights in the fair are starting to turn on, bright and beautiful.

You smile and keep eating.

"Are you having fun?" Jungkook asks around a mouthful of pizza.

You nod happily, "Mhm!"

Just as you're finishing your pizza, a little girl comes over.

You don't notice her at first, but Jungkook does. He sees her walk over to you timidly, then she touches your knee.

You look over and your eyes widen as you gasp, "Why, Ae-Cha! H-Hello!"

The tiny shy girl from your class smiles and waves, not saying a word.

"I had n-no idea you w-would be here," You continue gently, "Are y-you having fun?"

She nods, "Yes, Miss ___. I love the fair," She says it so quietly you find it hard to hear her.

Then Ae-Cha looks shyly at Jungkook and points at him, "Is he your husband, Miss ___?"

Jungkook turns into a blushing mess, but you just giggle and shake your head, "N-No, Ae-Cha sweetie. Jungkook is m-my friend!"

She nods again, "Ok."

Then she waves goodbye and runs back to her mother, who waves at you and sends you a smile. You wave back, then turn to see Jungkook stuffing his face with pizza.

"Th-That was one of m-my ducklings," You say proudly.

Jungkook nods, "I could tell. She was sweet," He says as he wipes his face.

Then he hands you a napkin, "You've got some sauce on your face."

"Oh, th-thanks."

You take the napkin and wipe your face carefully.

Jungkook stands up and throws his trash away, "You ready to keep going?" You get up and nod, tossing your trash into the bin next to you.

"Can w-we try the d-dart one again?" You ask as you dust off your bottom from sitting on the bench.

Jungkook bites his lip and tries his best to ignore your cute action, "Uhm, yeah. Of course."

Since when did he think anything you did was cute?

Jungkook breathes carefully through his nose as you skip away to the dart game.

He catches up with you just as you're saying hello to the man running the stand.

The man smiles at your return and holds up the box of darts, "You ready to give it another go?"

You nod, a spark of determination in your eyes.

Jungkook opts out of playing, deciding to just watch you.

You plant your feet on the ground and grip the darts in your sweaty hands.

The second the music and lights come on, you start throwing the darts. You hit one balloon and cheer, then you get back to business.

Soon enough, the forty-five seconds is over and you've only hit one balloon.

The stupid clown pops out, laughing mockingly.

You fight back a wave of tears as your hands fall to your sides.

Then you feel someone come up behind you, "Can she do it again, please?"

You turn to see Jungkook smiling at the man, but the smile doesn't meet his eyes.

The kind man nods and hands you the box of darts.

"Go ahead, dear."

You grab a dart and sigh, trying not to let yourself get too upset over this silly game. You look over at the purple teddy bear and sigh again.

"Ready?" The man asks, hand hovering over the button.

You nod hesitantly.

Once the lights turn on and the music starts, you gasp when you feel something hard press into your back. Your heart speeds up when you realize it's Jungkook as he reaches around and takes your hand holding the dart.

He lifts your hand up and aims carefully, then he whispers, "Let go," As he pushes your hand forward.

You do as he says and watch as the dart pops the balloon.

Jungkook tells you to pick up another dart.

You do it.

You aren't really thinking of anything but the warm feeling of Jungkook's hand enveloping yours as he helps you hit each balloon.

Jungkook could see your hands shaking and he couldn't stand to see you unable to win the prize you wanted a second longer. The second he touched your trembling hand, he felt it relax in his hold, bringing a smile to his face.

He continued to hold your hand and help you aim until every single balloon was popped and there was still five seconds on the clock.

Had only forty seconds gone by?

It had felt like longer.

Then Jungkook lets your hand go and steps back, no longer pressing into you and keeping you steady.

The clock runs out and lights start shining around the booth, pink, blue, purple, green, and red. A little tune plays and the man smiles at you, "Wow! That's a first! You can pick any prize you'd like."

You immediately point at the purple teddy bear, still speechless.

The man takes it down from the shelf and hands it to Jungkook, who then turns and hands it to you.

Your eyes are shining as you gently pat the bear's head.

"It's n-name is BonBon," You whisper, making Jungkook's heart flutter in his chest.

"That's a good name."

"Y-Yeah," You say wistfully.

The sky has darkened and the lights in the fair are at their brightest and most beautiful.

"Want to go on the Ferris wheel?" Jungkook asks you as you two walk through the fair.

"Ohhh, yes," You whisper, looking up at the huge ride.

Jungkook leads you over to the ride and you two wait patiently in line, well as patiently as you can. You can't help bouncing on the balls of your feet in anticipation.

When it's finally your turn, Jungkook lets you get into the cart first.

You climb in and sit down, setting BonBon down next to you. Jungkook gets in a second later and takes a seat next to the teddy bear so it's sitting between you two.

You can't stop wiggling around happily as the ride starts going up and up.

Then Jungkook notices a change in your behavior as the ride starts getting closer to the top. You become extremely quiet and stop wiggling around, getting stiff as a board.

You grab BonBon and hug him to your chest, your eyes wide with fear.

Jungkook looks at you in concern, then he touches your shoulder gently, "You okay, ___?"

"I'm s-scared," You whisper.

"Why?" Jungkook whispers back.

"I don't l-like h-heights."

"Oh," Jungkook looks down, the dizzying drop not really effecting him much.

He turns back to you and takes your hand, making you look up at him in surprise.

"You're okay, ___. This thing is as strong as ever, nothing will happen. Just look at that," He points behind you and you turn to look at the shining lights of the fair.

You look back at him, the shaking calming down a bit as you see the bright lights reflecting in his deep brown eyes.

Jungkook looks back at you and sees the light of the city behind him in your eyes.

They look like stars.

The thought passes through both of your minds as you get lost in each other's gaze.

The cart you're in reaches the top of the ride and stops but you don't even notice.

Jungkook leans in closer, so lost in your eyes that he doesn't even realize what he's doing. All he knows is that he needs to get closer.

Closer.

Suddenly, the cart jerks and you both snap out of your daze. Jungkook scoots away as you look over the edge.

"W-What happened?" You ask, panic surging through you.

"Nothing, it's fine," Jungkook assures you.

When he looks between you and realizes you're clutching his hand, his face turns hot.

You scoot over and look over his side, "Are you sure?"

Jungkook looks over and sees the man running the ride waving and shouting something.

"What?" Jungkook calls down as loud as he can.

"We'll get you down in a moment! Don't worry!" The man hollers up.

Jungkook feels you grip his hand tighter, "Ohh, I knew th-this would happen."

Jungkook turns and looks at you, "Don't worry, this kind of thing can be fixed easily-"

Then a girl screams bloody murder and you almost pass out right then and there.

Jungkook looks over the edge again to see the girl right under your cart having a panic attack as her friend tries to calm her down.

He can only thank his lucky stars that you aren't much of a screamer.

A few minutes pass as Jungkook makes small conversation with you to keep your mind off of the situation at hand

"So, what's your favorite candy, ___?" He asks gently and you look at him with wide eyes, "Uhm, I like l-lollip-pops."

Jungkook sends you a warm smile at that, "What kind?"

"B-Blue raspberry."

"Sounds good, what about your favorite dance move?"

That makes you giggle nervously as you look at the edge.

"I can't sh-show you in h-here."

"Then show me when we get down."

"Ok."

Jungkook sighs and leans back, "What's your favorite movie?"

You two continue to talk as the wind blows through your hair gently.

Jungkook fights to concentrate on not combusting on this damned ride from you puffing out your cheeks as you think about each answer to his questions.

Then the ride jumps a little and starts moving, causing you to squeeze Jungkook's hand again. You had forgotten you had been holding it this whole time.

Jungkook didn't.

He'd had the hardest time trying not to melt into a puddle of foreign feelings the whole fucking time.

You move your hand out of his and opt to take a hold of his arm instead. The change doesn't do much for Jungkook's poor confused and muddled brain.

When you reach the bottom, you let go of Jungkook's arm and grab BonBon before climbing out of the cart.

The man apologizes profusely and Jungkook assures him it's fine as you look around the fair.

That's when you see a familiar face looking at you from behind a popcorn stand.

You turn and grab Jungkook's arm fearfully.

He looks down at you, "What's wrong?"

You turn back to the popcorn stand but the young man is gone.

"N-Nothing," You step away from Jungkook but keep your eyes peeled for any sign of the man from the train station. Why is he here and why is he watching you?

Jungkook taps you on the shoulder, "You want to get some popcorn?"

You shake your head.

"How about some cotton candy?"

That makes you perk up and you nod happily.

Jungkook sees you standing in line for cotton candy, bouncing up and down on your feet, the smile on your face so wide he's surprised your cheeks haven't burst yet.

You move forward in line, one of your hands holding tightly to the teddy bear that Jungkook helped win for you.

You lean up on your tippy toes to see over the shoulder of the girl in front of you.

Watching in wonder as the man spins the red cotton candy, collecting it on a stick and slowly making it bigger as he forms it into the shape of a heart.

Jungkook can't tear his eyes away as you bounce up to the man when it's your turn. You excitedly point at a picture on the menu and the man nods with a smile.

A minute later, you're handing the man some money and he hands you a cotton candy duck that's bigger than your head.

You squeal happily and turn to show Jungkook, waving it in the air as you start walking back to him.

He finds himself smiling, a warm feeling in his chest.

Then a ringing sound drags his attention away from you and he looks down to grab his phone out of his pocket.

Except it isn't his regular phone.

It's his work phone.

He doesn't even remember putting it in his pocket, he must have done it out of habit.

Jungkook doesn't recognize the number lighting up on the screen, which brings a frown to his face.

You on the other hand, get distracted by a small puppy yipping excitedly as you pass by. You stop and ask the lady if you can pet her dog. She smiles and nods and you kneel down, setting your teddy bear down next to you and reaching a hand out to touch the dog gently.

"Hello?"

Jungkook answers the phone hesitantly, but he doesn't hear anything for a moment.

Then the sound of a horrifyingly familiar voice comes through the phone.

"Hello, Lotus."

Jungkook swallows thickly as he sees you stand up from petting the small dog.

He doesn't answer the person on the other side.

There's a breathy laugh and then the man clears his throat, "Time's up L, and we haven't heard from you."

A chill goes down his spine as Jungkook watches you smile at him and skip closer while taking a little bite out of your cotton candy duck.

"I-"

"Is...it...done?"

______________________________

a/n: its pooooosted :’) so sorry for how late it is. luv uuuuu

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whatareyousearchingfordean · 3 years

Text

A Period Drama

Summary: When that time of the month hits, Y/n wants nothing more than to curl up in bed and forget about the world. Lucky for her, Dean has other plans.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 2.1K+

Warnings: Language, discussion of menstrual cycle

Author’s Note: I guess I'm emotional this cycle, who knew? Anyway, I wrote this because I wanted to die the other day, and imagining Dean's cuddles was the only way for me to get through it. This is a work of self-indulgence and therefore the Reader is a little less non-descript than I usually try to write, but that's what these things are for! Hope this helps my fellow menstruating people lie it did me xoxo Alex

Check out Alexandra’s Library for more works by yours truly!

A nagging sensation tugged on her strings of consciousness, bringing the sleeping huntress back to the world of the living. Her mind fought against waking, knowing not nearly enough time had passed since she had retreated to her room the previous evening. As the ache deep in her abdomen became more obvious, she stopped fighting and opened her eyes to the darkness of her room.

“Fuck,” she groaned as she tossed the covers from her body, instantly missing the heat they provided in the recess of the bunker. Y/n rolled from the bed and stood, the action occurring too quickly and the huntress felt the familiar rush between her legs. She cursed herself as she bounded off to the bathroom on the opposite end of the hallway. The socks on her feet muffled her hurried steps as she passed the boys’ rooms.

Once inside, she went straight for the showers and turned the hot water all the way up. Steam enveloped the space as she stripped her soiled panties and old t-shirt from her body. She let the bathroom turn into a makeshift sauna as she rinsed the blood from her undergarments before finally stepping into the boiling shower.

It was unclear how long she stood under the water, searing her flesh and scrubbing away the metaphorical grime, all she knew was the relentless heat was managing to ease the ache from her angry uterus. The tentative knock on the bathroom door snapped her back from the silent reverie she had been indulging in, and Y/n noted how the water had gone almost cold. It was likely she had been in there long enough for Sam to have taken his morning run and if her own body wasn’t attacking itself, she might have felt guilty about using up all the bunker’s hot water.

When she walked out in just a towel, her dirty pajamas rolled into a ball in her arms, she was met with a confused younger Winchester. All she could mutter was a weak ‘sorry’ before she breezed past him and back to her room. The huntress wrapped herself into a pair of sweats and a clean tee, braided her hair out of her face, swallowed a few pain killers, and crawled back under her covers. She thanked whatever higher power had made sure they were hunt-free for the foreseeable future so she could spend the day curled up in a ball. The pills kicked in quick enough to allow her to easily slip back into a blissful sleep.

****

It was nearing one in the afternoon when Dean made his way back inside the bunker, his hands covered in grease and oil from his work tuning up the Impala. He was wiping his hands on an equally dirty towel as he walked into the kitchen to find his little brother making himself a lunch.

“Please tell me that is not your veggie bacon?” Dean wrinkled his nose as he watched Sam putting together a BLT, the various ingredients strewn about the island.

“Fine, then I won’t tell you,” Sam didn’t bother to look up from his task to answer his brother. The look of disgust only depended on Dean’s face as he moved around his sibling to wash his hands in the sink.

The older hunter glanced over his shoulder as the sound of shuffling footsteps grew louder, his gaze landing on a disheveled Y/n. The sweats that hung from her body were wrinkled and she had a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. There were lines across the left side of her face, indicating she had been sleeping recently. Worry instantly flooded his system as it was unlike their hunting partner to sleep this late unless she was ill.

“Sam, what did you do with my heating pad?” her voice was coarse as she didn’t even bother with pleasantries. No ‘hello’, no ‘ how are you’, just straight to whatever business she had in with the younger Winchester.

“Uh, I’m pretty sure it’s in the linen closet in the bathroom?” Sam answered, completely unperturbed by her callousness.

“So you put my heating pad in the bathroom,” Y/n rolled her eyes and Sam could only offer her a bewildered nod. “What is with you guys and not being able to put shit back where you found it?” The huntress turned on her heel, not waiting for a response before heading to retrieve the item she was seeking.

Sam looked over his shoulder at his older brother, his brows knit together in the middle of his forehead. “What the hell was that?”

“What’s the one thing Y/n uses her heating pad for?” Dean’s lips cured up on one side as he watched the look of realization flash across his brother’s features. The oldest Winchester dried his hands before peeking in the fridge and a few cupboards. “Looks like she could use a supply run. You need anything?”

“Nah, I’m just going to retreat to my room and pretend like I don’t exist for the rest of the day,” Sam picked up the plate that held his lunch and scurried off, leaving a chuckling Dean behind.

****

The only light filling her room came from the laptop that was perched in her lap, playing some television show she had stopped paying attention to a while ago, and the filtered light from the hall through the slats in her door. The huntress was still curled into a ball under her covers, attempting to use what little bit of heat from her computer she could muster as she had been unsuccessful in located her heating pad. She felt bad for ripping into Sam about it, but the truth was he had misplaced her belongings, something that she found happened often around the Winchesters, and she was over it today. Pain tended to make her grumpy, as it did most people, and she wasn’t going to apologize for being pissed at their carelessness.

A soft rapping against her door had her pausing the show as she shoved the device aside. The guest didn’t wait for a response before they pushed the door open, bringing with them a flood of light. Y/n cringed at the sudden change, hiding her face behind her hand.

“Sorry, sweetheart,” Dean’s familiar chuckle sounded before the click of the latch indicated he had closed the door behind him. “I come bearing gifts.”

“What?” she was confused by his words as she dropped her hand and allowed her eyes to adjust back to the relative darkness.

“Your water bottle, half ice, half water,” he set the green canteen on her bedside table. “The heating pad Sammy somehow managed to lose behind the washing machine,” Dean handed her the light green pad folded neatly with the cord sitting on top. Y/n sighed a breath of relief as the eldest Winchester continued. “And a sharable size bag of dark chocolate peanut M&M’s.”

“Dean,” Y/n caught the purple bag as he tossed it her way, biting back a gleeful moan. “I fucking love you.” She unceremoniously tore into the bag and popped a couple of the chocolate candies into her mouth, missing the rush of blood on the Winchester’s cheeks.

“And finally,” he mimicked a drum roll with his mouth and procured a box from his arms, placing it on her bedside table. The woman frowned, unable to make out the object at first in the darkness.

“You bought me tampons? How,” she trailed off, not only awestruck by the hunter’s gesture but amazed at his attention to detail as she read the label.

“There is only one thing you need your heating pad for,” he remarked as he took the referenced object back to plug it into an outlet for her. “Also, you never snap at Sammy.”

“But how did you know what kind to buy?”

“Kind of hard not to when you have a box of them stashed away in Baby’s trunk,” Dean countered as he perched himself on the edge of her bed.

“Hey, those are for emergencies. Besides, I’m sure Baby understands.”

“I’m sure she does.”

Y/n chewed on the inside of her cheek as she fiddled with the bag of candy in her lap, the kindness shown by Dean throwing her off. She offered the open bag to her hunting partner, who snatched a handful for himself with a grin.

“Thank you, Dean, seriously. This is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me,” her voice was low as the admittance slipped past her lips. “Want to watch some Scooby-Doo with me? You know, if you aren’t busy or anything?”

“I’d love to, sweetheart,” Dean winked at her, that shit-eating grin never leaving his face even as he stood and shucked off his jacket and boots so he could climb into the bed next to her. “Who could pass up Daphne?”

The huntress sat back against the headboard with a roll of her eyes and switched the streaming show on her laptop before unfolding her already warmed heating pad and laid it across her lower abdomen. She moved the laptop at the end of the bed so they could both see it and set the bag of M&M’s between her and Dean to share.

The two settled into the cartoon, laughing in unison at the ridiculous parts and commenting on how the Scooby gang couldn’t have handled that monster had it been real. Three episodes passed by before a shredding cramp ripped through her stomach, the shock of it enough that she was unable to hide the groan as she had been so far.

“You okay?” Dean shifted in his spot next to her, his head turning from the kids’ show to his friend beside him.

“No, I’m not okay. It feels like my internal organs are attempting to exit my body,” she snapped, instantly regretting it when Dean subtly recoiled. “Shit, I’m sorry. I--I didn’t mean…” Y/n was cut off as the pain returned just as intense as it had been moments ago, causing her to roll onto her side and into a ball, clutching the heat of the pad against her body like a lifeline.

“Alright,” Dean huffed before moving the candy and laptop from the bed. Y/n could hear the hunter shift behind her, but her eyes were clamped shut as she tried to breathe through the pain like she was experiencing the contractions of labor of something. She felt the hard lines of his body lock around the curves of her own and his arm snake around her abdomen. His hand rested over hers as he pulled her tight against him, putting more pressure than she had been able to muster against her lower belly. “I’ve got you.”

The heat of his body on one side and the pad against her stomach, combined with the force he was exerting on her uterus, finally allowed her to relax fully for the first time since she had awoken that morning. She never wanted to leave this moment, utterly content in the peace that his presence in her bed brought her. The idea scared her a little, but she figured that was a problem for another day. Now she chose to just live in this moment for as long as he would let her.

“Why?” she muttered into the dark space after she was sure he had fallen asleep as his grip had relented a touch and his breathing evened out, hoping he wouldn’t answer but knowing she had to ask.

“Cause I wanted to,” his voice was gruff, indicating he had probably been on the cusp of falling asleep when she spoke up. “I hate seeing you like this. Figured it was the least I could do.”

“Dean Winchester, are you going soft on me?” she quirked up one corner of her lips, unable to fight the giddiness his words instilled in her chest.

“Sweetheart, there is nothing soft about me when I’m around you,” he chuckled, earning himself an elbow to the gut. He grunted and the two of them fell into a fit of laughter.

“I’m serious.”

“So am I.” The hunter was ready for her arm this time, his hand moving to wrap around her forearm and pull it into him so as to trap her even tighter than before in his embrace. Y/n struggled against his hold, giggling like an idiot as the two wrestled in the bed a moment before she relented that he was much stronger than she.

“Honestly,” Dean placed a gentle kiss to her shoulder once she had settled, only encouraging her to melt further into his arms. “I’d do anything to make you smile, Y/n.”

“Well, then mission accomplished, Winchester,” she turned her head to flash him a genuine smile to which he reciprocated before planting his pillow-soft lips against hers.

P.S. I didn't even try on this title because this is just a little therapy piece and therefore no one should judge me.

Forevers: @22sarah08 @440mxs-wife @akshi8278 @anathewierdo @asgoodasdancingqueen @atc74 @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @briagallen @callmekda @dawnie1988 @deandreamernp @deangirl93 @deanwanddamons @ellewritesfix05 @emoryhemsworth @foxyjwls007 @hobby27 @janicho88 @jbsgirl4ever11 @jensengirl83 @lunarmoon8 @lyarr24 @mishacollins4evah @miss-nerd95 @mrsjenniferwinchester @msmarvelouswinchester @polina-93 @sleepylunarwolf @squirrelnotsam @stiles-stilinski-24-dylan @suckmyapplejacks @supraveng @tatted-trina6 @thoughts-and-funnies @traceyaudette @tranquility-or-chaos @waywardbeanie @winchest09

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